Lies of Omission

Salvation of Equestria
Chapter 1: Lies of Omission
by Jonathan “KnightMysterio” Spires

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Caribou nation...
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High Priest Dainn, ruler of the Prudehoof tribe, stood on top of the flattened mountaintop, going through a series of martial arts exercises. His muscular frame was clad only in form-fitting pants, his antlers trimmed and rounded. He moved fluidly, with the skill of an expert warrior. His maleness was encased in a tight wrapping, meant to suppress any sexual urges. Not that he needed it, for his mental discipline was something to be in awe of.

For years, he had lead the caribou nation in peace, preaching strength of will and celibacy. The only contact he had with the outside world was with his cousin, King Aspen of the Everfree Deer. And he was content with that. He sent his caribou out on pilgrimages to learn about the world beyond his borders, letting them live secular lives and bargain for supplies his nation needed. But he himself? He felt no need to leave his northern home, felt no need to learn more.

Then the changes started to happen.

First was the Noontime Night. A day when the sun did not rise, and his already cold home became colder. It was only when a great explosion of rainbow light occurred in the south that the sun rose again.

High Priest Dainn was frightened by the concept. He knew, vaguely, that the sun's path was governed by a near goddess who lived in the southern lands controlled by ponies, but the fact that there was something powerful enough to block her?

His pilgrims told him that the sun deity's mad sister had returned from a thousand years of exile, and was restored to sanity by a group of artifacts representing ancient magics. (He wasn't sure of the translation. Languages other than his own were never his strong point.) He prayed for peace after that, that the serenity of the world would continue, while giving thanks that the sun deity had been reunited with her family.

And then his mountains turned to candy.

High Priest Dainn found his mind twisted to madness by a monster called Discord. He became a barbarian king, a savage, misogynistic parody of himself. Discord seemed disappointed by this, commenting 'Eh, it's been done,' and leaving him alone. After Discord's defeat and Dainn's return to sanity, it was three months before he was able to forgive himself, another six months after that before he trusted himself around women.

After his experience as the barbarian 'King Dainn,' the celibacy rules he espoused for his people became even more harsh, the very concept of arousal forbidden. He had his pilgrims search for ways for women to bear children of men without having sexual contact. He was still having no luck with his research, but he was confident that his pilgrims would find a way.

Sex, after all, was the root of all evil. The primal desire, the beast within... it must be suppressed at all cost. That is the only way to true enlightenment, true peace. He was sure of it. So sure, that he blinded himself to the growing discontent amongst his monks and followers.

And on and on the changes continued. An ancient kingdom arose in another part of the North, just outside his borders. Strange crystal ponies, once enslaved to a madman named King Sombra, appeared, along with the ghostly shadow of King Sombra himself.

High Priest Dainn sent several of his greatest warrior monks to aid in the fight. Just looking at King Sombra reminded him too much of his time as King Dainn. They never made it due to Sombra making the blizzards that surrounded the Empire worse, but once Sombra was defeated, by a dragon according to all reports, they were able to break through.

He learned more of the southern lands, called Equestria. He learned that the ancient artifacts that bested Discord and restored the moon deity's sanity were born by a group of brave mares, each one unique from the other. The ancient crystal kingdom was given a new ruler in the form of a love deity (Dainn's understanding of the Equestrian language was poor, but he believed that her breed was called alicorn) and her unicorn husband. He visited them, the first time he had ever left his mountain home, and announced his allegiance with the Crystal Empire, Empress Cadance and Emperor Shining Armor willingly accepting it. He quickly left the Empire, though, when they began flirting with him. Sex was still anathema to him.

What strange, bizarre creatures these ponies were. It made him uncomfortable to think about them.

And on and on the changes happened.

One of the mares that bore the ancient artifacts became a deity in her own right. (He just couldn't use the word alicorn. It seemed to diminish what he saw as divine beings.) He couldn't make it to the coronation, but he sent pilgrims to extend his well-wishes and blessings on his behalf. He had a nation to run, after all.

But the fact that he knew so little about the southern lands bothered him greatly.

“What kind of ruler knows so little about the world around him?” he asked the air around him one day.

“One who needs to learn about it,” said a voice, startling the high priest. Dainn turned, and smiled, seeing his older brother, Brogan.

“Ah, brother. It is good to see you again,” Dainn said, smiling. “I thought you were on pilgrimage though.”

“I have come back, Dainn,” he said. “I missed my family. Is that not reason enough?”

“True, true,” Dainn said, coming over to hug his older sibling. “But what do you mean, 'one who needs to learn about it?' Do I not read every report our pilgrims make?”

“Reading a report, my brother, isn't the same as experiencing it. Knowledge and wisdom do not go hand in hand,” Brogan said, the bearded reindeer smiling. “And no, you do not read reports that do not concern things you feel aren't necessary to your immediate concerns. I've seen your inbox in your office, brother."

“Perhaps...” Dainn said. “I admit, my life has been somewhat sheltered in our mountain forests... Still, isn't Equestria the lands of that passionate love goddess and her husband?”

Brogan nodded. “Indeed,” he said. “Home of the sun goddess, Molestia, and her sister, the goddess of the moon and of dreams, Lunaughty.”

Dainn's jaw dropped. “Those... Those are their names?”

Brogan nodded. “Those are names they have chosen for themselves,” he said. “Some know their real names, but most just call them by those nicknames.”

Dainn staggered. “To have such unflattering titles given to you... and to embrace them?”

Brogan nodded. “Indeed. The land of Equestria as a whole has embraced sex. It is taught to their children at a young age.”

Dainn blinked. “W-What?!”

The elder caribou smirked briefly, and said, “Indeed, and incest is allowed as well. Molestia and Lunaughty have a very intimate, very public relationship.”

Dainn staggered. “That... I cannot believe...”

“Oh, sex is deeply ingrained in their culture,” Brogan said, looking up at the clouds. “I have seen it. It's really a foundation of their society.”

Dainn gripped his brother's arm. “I know now my purpose, brother. I had thought that I would find contentment, find peace in just staying here and leading our people. But my laziness has left me without knowledge of the world around me. That has to change.”

“Oh?” Brogan said, staring at his younger sibling with his dark, ebony eyes. “What are you going to do about it, then?”

Dainn blinked, having not thought that far ahead. He paced back and forth for a moment, and said, “A pilgrimage. I will lead a pilgrimage into Equestria, into their major population centers. I will preach the ways of celibacy, of abandoning the carnal in favor of the spirtual.” Dainn laughed. “Oh, this is exciting, brother! To have purpose, to go on an adventure to spread that purpose! Haha!”

“Excellent,” Brogan said. “Then perhaps may I offer advice on who to take? I know a few initiates, recent converts from the civilians who live in the valleys below our order's mountains, who could use a chance to experience the outside world. And who would be more than willing to help spread the good word.”

Dainn hugged him, smiling. “You've always watched out for me, big brother,” he said. “Thank you. Now if you'll excuse me, I must prepare myself for the journey!” He trotted off, laughing. “You'll see! I will be the salvation of Equestria!”

Brogan just smiled, standing there. Once Dainn was out of earshot, on his way to the main temple, he said, “You can stop hiding now. I know you're there.”

The caribou who had been hiding behind an outcropping stepped out. He was slender, wearing a suit instead of the monk robes Brogan was wearing. He dusted snow off of his suit and came up, bowing.

“Elder Brogan...” he started.

“Calibok, correct? One of the order's pilgrims... to Equestria, I believe,” Brogan said without turning around.

Calibok nodded, nervously rubbing at a patch on his small antlers. “Y-Yes. I am taking a break from my pilgrimage to visit family, and came to pay my respects to High Priest Dainn. And I can't help... I can't help but notice that you left out a lot of details.”

Brogan smiled mysteriously. “Such as?”

Calibok frowned. “Yes, sex ed starts young in Equestria. But the country has some of the strictest pedophilia laws on record, with some of the harshest punishments for those who try to have sex with children. Sex isn't allowed for anyone until at LEAST the age of sixteen, and even then, until they're eighteen it's only over-the-clothes heavy petting. In addition, Equestria has the strictest rape laws on record. To the point where summary gelding is the most common punishment for rapists.”

“So either the other party has to say yes, or you lose your squishy parts? Interesting...” Brogan said, smirking.

Calibok shook his head. He hated it when Elder Brogan got mysterious. “You also forgot to mention the numerous advances in magical and technological medicine that made birth defects normally associated with incest a non-issue. Plus the fact that the number one law of the land in Equestria is Business Before Pleasure.”

“I know,” Elder Brogan said. “'Take care of your work first and foremost. Then and only then can you play.'”

“I know you know,” Calibok said, grimacing. “So why did you leave those RATHER IMPORTANT details out when you talked to him?”

Brogan sighed. “Dainn is young for an immortal. Only 100 years old. And he has refused to go out and experience the world, preferring to remain within his comfort zone. All he knows he knows from reports, and even then he doesn't read all of them, deferring them to archivists. He NEEDS to get out there, NEEDS to experience the feeling of being wrong for once. Pride is one of his greatest flaws.”

Calibok shook his head. “Elder... Discord lives in Equestria. Reformed yes, but... You know what he did to High Priest Dainn. He's still not over it, I can tell. With this stupid rule forbidding sex of any kind...”

“Which is why I believe sending him to Equestria will do him some good. He'll be able to confront his fears. And if I know him, he'll head directly to Molestia. She'll be able to help him through his issues,” Brogan said confidently.

Calibok stared at the elder incredulously. “You're sending someone who's scared of sex to meet with the Queen of Carnality?”

Brogan smirked. “You've not known her for as long as I have. I trust Molestia. She'll do what's right for my brother.”

Calibok shook his head. “I don't know... this is a big gamble...”

Brogan smiled gently. “Life is a chance. One we must take. His mad plan of eliminating physical intimacy entirely will only hurt our people. He must find his salvation in Equestria, or be removed from his post as High Priest of the caribou.” He sighed, looking out over the mountains in Equestria's direction. “All we can do is hope.”

Author's Note

So... yeah. After writing Fall of the Caribou, I had another idea. I had a terrible, wonderful idea. Hence, this. Standard disclaimers apply. As this is an out and out clopfic, no one under 18 should be reading this. There will be MULTIPLE fetishes involved, including futa, bondage, maledom, femdom, hyper penises and breasts, various kinks related to pregnancy, and so forth. WARNING: EVERYONE is at least partially out of character.

This story is an unrepentant parody of Fall of Equestria.

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