Salvation of Equestria

by KnightMysterio

Rating: mature
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Anthro, Main 6, Romance, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy, Sex
Length: 5335

A parody of FoE: High Priest Dainn of the Prudehoof tribe tries to save Equestria from the pervert queen Molestia.

An unashamed parody of Fall of Equestria.

The immortal High Priest Dainn, leader of the Prudehoof Tribe of the Caribou, Head of the Order of the Holy Antler, and elected ruler of the caribou nation, has lived a quiet, isolated life. He never felt the need to leave his mountain home, never felt the need to learn about the world beyond the borders of his kingdom. But after a series of changes happen rapidly over the course of a year, including a day where the moon ever set, a traumatic encounter with Discord that caused him to enforce celibacy on his entire kingdom, the return of the Crystal Empire, and others, Dainn begins to wonder about the world around him.

Then his older brother tells him about Equestria, the most sexually active nation in the world. He tells him about Equestria's leaders, Princess Molestia and Princess Lunaughty. Believing he's finally found his purpose in life, High Priest Dainn gathers a pilgrimage to head into Equestria to preach the ways of abandoning all carnal desire, of suppressing all arousal.

He has absolutely no idea the sexy trap his brother has set for him and his pilgrims.

Published 2015-08-21 23:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-21 17:22:57 UTC

Lies of Omission

Lies of Omission

Salvation of Equestria
Chapter 1: Lies of Omission
by Jonathan “KnightMysterio” Spires

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Caribou nation...
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

High Priest Dainn, ruler of the Prudehoof tribe, stood on top of the flattened mountaintop, going through a series of martial arts exercises. His muscular frame was clad only in form-fitting pants, his antlers trimmed and rounded. He moved fluidly, with the skill of an expert warrior. His maleness was encased in a tight wrapping, meant to suppress any sexual urges. Not that he needed it, for his mental discipline was something to be in awe of.

For years, he had lead the caribou nation in peace, preaching strength of will and celibacy. The only contact he had with the outside world was with his cousin, King Aspen of the Everfree Deer. And he was content with that. He sent his caribou out on pilgrimages to learn about the world beyond his borders, letting them live secular lives and bargain for supplies his nation needed. But he himself? He felt no need to leave his northern home, felt no need to learn more.

Then the changes started to happen.

First was the Noontime Night. A day when the sun did not rise, and his already cold home became colder. It was only when a great explosion of rainbow light occurred in the south that the sun rose again.

High Priest Dainn was frightened by the concept. He knew, vaguely, that the sun's path was governed by a near goddess who lived in the southern lands controlled by ponies, but the fact that there was something powerful enough to block her?

His pilgrims told him that the sun deity's mad sister had returned from a thousand years of exile, and was restored to sanity by a group of artifacts representing ancient magics. (He wasn't sure of the translation. Languages other than his own were never his strong point.) He prayed for peace after that, that the serenity of the world would continue, while giving thanks that the sun deity had been reunited with her family.

And then his mountains turned to candy.

High Priest Dainn found his mind twisted to madness by a monster called Discord. He became a barbarian king, a savage, misogynistic parody of himself. Discord seemed disappointed by this, commenting 'Eh, it's been done,' and leaving him alone. After Discord's defeat and Dainn's return to sanity, it was three months before he was able to forgive himself, another six months after that before he trusted himself around women.

After his experience as the barbarian 'King Dainn,' the celibacy rules he espoused for his people became even more harsh, the very concept of arousal forbidden. He had his pilgrims search for ways for women to bear children of men without having sexual contact. He was still having no luck with his research, but he was confident that his pilgrims would find a way.

Sex, after all, was the root of all evil. The primal desire, the beast within... it must be suppressed at all cost. That is the only way to true enlightenment, true peace. He was sure of it. So sure, that he blinded himself to the growing discontent amongst his monks and followers.

And on and on the changes continued. An ancient kingdom arose in another part of the North, just outside his borders. Strange crystal ponies, once enslaved to a madman named King Sombra, appeared, along with the ghostly shadow of King Sombra himself.

High Priest Dainn sent several of his greatest warrior monks to aid in the fight. Just looking at King Sombra reminded him too much of his time as King Dainn. They never made it due to Sombra making the blizzards that surrounded the Empire worse, but once Sombra was defeated, by a dragon according to all reports, they were able to break through.

He learned more of the southern lands, called Equestria. He learned that the ancient artifacts that bested Discord and restored the moon deity's sanity were born by a group of brave mares, each one unique from the other. The ancient crystal kingdom was given a new ruler in the form of a love deity (Dainn's understanding of the Equestrian language was poor, but he believed that her breed was called alicorn) and her unicorn husband. He visited them, the first time he had ever left his mountain home, and announced his allegiance with the Crystal Empire, Empress Cadance and Emperor Shining Armor willingly accepting it. He quickly left the Empire, though, when they began flirting with him. Sex was still anathema to him.

What strange, bizarre creatures these ponies were. It made him uncomfortable to think about them.

And on and on the changes happened.

One of the mares that bore the ancient artifacts became a deity in her own right. (He just couldn't use the word alicorn. It seemed to diminish what he saw as divine beings.) He couldn't make it to the coronation, but he sent pilgrims to extend his well-wishes and blessings on his behalf. He had a nation to run, after all.

But the fact that he knew so little about the southern lands bothered him greatly.

“What kind of ruler knows so little about the world around him?” he asked the air around him one day.

“One who needs to learn about it,” said a voice, startling the high priest. Dainn turned, and smiled, seeing his older brother, Brogan.

“Ah, brother. It is good to see you again,” Dainn said, smiling. “I thought you were on pilgrimage though.”

“I have come back, Dainn,” he said. “I missed my family. Is that not reason enough?”

“True, true,” Dainn said, coming over to hug his older sibling. “But what do you mean, 'one who needs to learn about it?' Do I not read every report our pilgrims make?”

“Reading a report, my brother, isn't the same as experiencing it. Knowledge and wisdom do not go hand in hand,” Brogan said, the bearded reindeer smiling. “And no, you do not read reports that do not concern things you feel aren't necessary to your immediate concerns. I've seen your inbox in your office, brother."

“Perhaps...” Dainn said. “I admit, my life has been somewhat sheltered in our mountain forests... Still, isn't Equestria the lands of that passionate love goddess and her husband?”

Brogan nodded. “Indeed,” he said. “Home of the sun goddess, Molestia, and her sister, the goddess of the moon and of dreams, Lunaughty.”

Dainn's jaw dropped. “Those... Those are their names?”

Brogan nodded. “Those are names they have chosen for themselves,” he said. “Some know their real names, but most just call them by those nicknames.”

Dainn staggered. “To have such unflattering titles given to you... and to embrace them?”

Brogan nodded. “Indeed. The land of Equestria as a whole has embraced sex. It is taught to their children at a young age.”

Dainn blinked. “W-What?!”

The elder caribou smirked briefly, and said, “Indeed, and incest is allowed as well. Molestia and Lunaughty have a very intimate, very public relationship.”

Dainn staggered. “That... I cannot believe...”

“Oh, sex is deeply ingrained in their culture,” Brogan said, looking up at the clouds. “I have seen it. It's really a foundation of their society.”

Dainn gripped his brother's arm. “I know now my purpose, brother. I had thought that I would find contentment, find peace in just staying here and leading our people. But my laziness has left me without knowledge of the world around me. That has to change.”

“Oh?” Brogan said, staring at his younger sibling with his dark, ebony eyes. “What are you going to do about it, then?”

Dainn blinked, having not thought that far ahead. He paced back and forth for a moment, and said, “A pilgrimage. I will lead a pilgrimage into Equestria, into their major population centers. I will preach the ways of celibacy, of abandoning the carnal in favor of the spirtual.” Dainn laughed. “Oh, this is exciting, brother! To have purpose, to go on an adventure to spread that purpose! Haha!”

“Excellent,” Brogan said. “Then perhaps may I offer advice on who to take? I know a few initiates, recent converts from the civilians who live in the valleys below our order's mountains, who could use a chance to experience the outside world. And who would be more than willing to help spread the good word.”

Dainn hugged him, smiling. “You've always watched out for me, big brother,” he said. “Thank you. Now if you'll excuse me, I must prepare myself for the journey!” He trotted off, laughing. “You'll see! I will be the salvation of Equestria!”

Brogan just smiled, standing there. Once Dainn was out of earshot, on his way to the main temple, he said, “You can stop hiding now. I know you're there.”

The caribou who had been hiding behind an outcropping stepped out. He was slender, wearing a suit instead of the monk robes Brogan was wearing. He dusted snow off of his suit and came up, bowing.

“Elder Brogan...” he started.

“Calibok, correct? One of the order's pilgrims... to Equestria, I believe,” Brogan said without turning around.

Calibok nodded, nervously rubbing at a patch on his small antlers. “Y-Yes. I am taking a break from my pilgrimage to visit family, and came to pay my respects to High Priest Dainn. And I can't help... I can't help but notice that you left out a lot of details.”

Brogan smiled mysteriously. “Such as?”

Calibok frowned. “Yes, sex ed starts young in Equestria. But the country has some of the strictest pedophilia laws on record, with some of the harshest punishments for those who try to have sex with children. Sex isn't allowed for anyone until at LEAST the age of sixteen, and even then, until they're eighteen it's only over-the-clothes heavy petting. In addition, Equestria has the strictest rape laws on record. To the point where summary gelding is the most common punishment for rapists.”

“So either the other party has to say yes, or you lose your squishy parts? Interesting...” Brogan said, smirking.

Calibok shook his head. He hated it when Elder Brogan got mysterious. “You also forgot to mention the numerous advances in magical and technological medicine that made birth defects normally associated with incest a non-issue. Plus the fact that the number one law of the land in Equestria is Business Before Pleasure.”

“I know,” Elder Brogan said. “'Take care of your work first and foremost. Then and only then can you play.'”

“I know you know,” Calibok said, grimacing. “So why did you leave those RATHER IMPORTANT details out when you talked to him?”

Brogan sighed. “Dainn is young for an immortal. Only 100 years old. And he has refused to go out and experience the world, preferring to remain within his comfort zone. All he knows he knows from reports, and even then he doesn't read all of them, deferring them to archivists. He NEEDS to get out there, NEEDS to experience the feeling of being wrong for once. Pride is one of his greatest flaws.”

Calibok shook his head. “Elder... Discord lives in Equestria. Reformed yes, but... You know what he did to High Priest Dainn. He's still not over it, I can tell. With this stupid rule forbidding sex of any kind...”

“Which is why I believe sending him to Equestria will do him some good. He'll be able to confront his fears. And if I know him, he'll head directly to Molestia. She'll be able to help him through his issues,” Brogan said confidently.

Calibok stared at the elder incredulously. “You're sending someone who's scared of sex to meet with the Queen of Carnality?”

Brogan smirked. “You've not known her for as long as I have. I trust Molestia. She'll do what's right for my brother.”

Calibok shook his head. “I don't know... this is a big gamble...”

Brogan smiled gently. “Life is a chance. One we must take. His mad plan of eliminating physical intimacy entirely will only hurt our people. He must find his salvation in Equestria, or be removed from his post as High Priest of the caribou.” He sighed, looking out over the mountains in Equestria's direction. “All we can do is hope.”

Author's Note

So... yeah. After writing Fall of the Caribou, I had another idea. I had a terrible, wonderful idea. Hence, this. Standard disclaimers apply. As this is an out and out clopfic, no one under 18 should be reading this. There will be MULTIPLE fetishes involved, including futa, bondage, maledom, femdom, hyper penises and breasts, various kinks related to pregnancy, and so forth. WARNING: EVERYONE is at least partially out of character.

This story is an unrepentant parody of Fall of Equestria.

If you're just as insane as I am and can spare the money, support me on Patreon!

Crystal Empire - Part 1

Salvation of Equestria
Chapter 2: Crystal Empire part 1
by Jonathan “KnightMysterio” Spires

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Caribou nation...
Order of the Holy Antler temple...
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Ten initiates, five bulls, five cows, stood alongside their leader, clad in the concealing robes of their order, the males with their antlers showing through slots in the hoods. Dainn, the only one with his hood down, stood amongst them, smiling benevolently.

“Brothers and sisters,” he said. “We are going on a pilgrimage. I know most of you probably have the details from Elder Brogan, but just in case, I want to go over the details.”

“Here we go,” muttered one of the male initiates, “High Priest Loves His Own Voice talking for the sake of talking again.”

The cow standing next to him elbowed him in the stomach.

Dainn didn't notice. “It has come to my attention that our southern neighbor, Equestria, has fallen to perversion and inequity. Their rulers, who go by the names of Princess Molestia and Princess Lunaughty, promote the evils of sex and physical intimacy.”

“I still don't understand the reason we put a ban on any sort of physical intimacy at all,” said a cow, whispering.

“Remember what happened to High Priest Dainn during the Madness Time?” whispered a nearby bull.

“Well, yes, but he even put a ban on hugs and kisses,” whispered the cow. “Even those directed by parents towards their children...”

Dainn continued, not noticing the commentary. “My friends... my brothers and sisters. I have decided that we will go to Equestria and teach them our ways. And perhaps even find out how to bring children into the world without the evils of sex and physical intimacy. We shall start by going to Equestria's five major cities and spreading the word there.”

He had each initiate pair off, one cow, one bull, and addressed them.

“Dalach, Innis,” Dainn said. “You shall go to the Crystal Empire.”

The cow, Innis, frowned. “Aren't they a separate kingdom?”

“Until they are capable of sustaining themselves, they are a vassal state of Equestria, reliant on imports from the south,” Dalach explained.

“Very good,” Dainn said. “You've done research?”

Dalach nodded. “Yes sir. I felt it appropriate, since we were chosen to go on this mission.”

Innis pouted. “I was hoping to go to a warmer climate...”

Dainn chuckled. “I have been to the Empire, albeit briefly. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.” He turned to another pair, leaving Dalach and Innis to talk. “Tomas, Niamh, you will be given access to the Sacred Wings and Cloudhoof spells. Your destination is Cloudsdale.”

Tomas's ears drooped. “Figures he'd send the acrophobic to a floating city,” he muttered.

Niamh, taller and more muscular than Tomas, chuckled. “Don't worry. I'll be sure to catch you,” she said.

Dainn smiled. “There comes a time when we must face that which we fear,” he said, completely missing the irony. “Niamh is one of the finest members of our warrior caste. She will catch you should you fall.”

“If she doesn't let me fall on purpose,” Tomas muttered. Niamh just stuck out her tongue, laughing.

Dainn shook his head, chuckling, and turned to the next pair. “Marcas, Emer, I am sending you to the big city.”

Emer, the cow, brightened. “I've always wondered what big city life was like!” she said.

Dainn put a hand on her shoulder. “You shall get your chance to see the world, sister. But be wary, and remember your purposes.”

Marcas bowed. “High Priest, I will protect her virtue,” he said.

“Excellent,” Dainn said. “I knew I could rely on you. You've always been strongest in your devotion to the Order.”

Marcas bowed again. Emer frowned, wondering if she'd get to have any fun on this trip. Dainn turned to the next pair. “Riaghan, Annag, you are going to Ponyville.”

Annag blinked. “Ponyville? Isn't that where the Rainbow Bearers live?” she asked softly.

Dainn nodded. “Yours is a special mission, to save those six heroes from depravity.”

Riaghan just muttered under his breath, clearly annoyed with the High Priest but hiding it for the most part. Dainn, ever oblivious, turned to his last two initiates, putting his hands on their shoulders.

“Grada, Aileas, you two are brother and sister in blood as well as in the Order,” he said. “You shall accompany me into Canterlot, to save Molestia and Lunaughty themselves from their incestuous desires.”

Grada and Aileas just smiled nervously, flinching a little at the mention of incest. They were hoping to get away from Dainn, so that they could enjoy their secret relationship in defiance of the Order. However it looks like things were going to get tricky...

Dainn turned to the gathered caribou, smiling. “Be well, and be strong, my brothers and sisters. Resist foul temptation and do not give in to the heinous desires in your loins. Remember, we are the salvation of Equestria, destined to bring them to the ways of celibacy and total abstention. Now, let us pray. And after that, we shall go. May the Gods be with us.”

Dainn and his initiates faced a nearby altar, kneeling before it. Softly, silently, each initiate said a separate prayer, Dainn and Marcas the only one directly praying for the success of their mission.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Later...
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

“This is so exciting!” Dalach said, looking out the window of the train, his robes hanging open slightly, his black eyes wide in the white rings that lined his face, his fur a dark brown. “I've always wanted to study other cultures up close, but I hadn't gotten permission to go on pilgrimages for the Order yet.”

The lighter-furred and similarly marked Innis frowned, adjusting her own robes as she tried to get comfortable on the seats. “You do realize that we're here on a mission, don't you?” she said. “To spread our message of absolute celibacy to the Crystal Empire.”

Dalach stared at her, incredulous. “You... You don't honestly believe that to be the right answer, do you?!” he asked.

“I believe in High Priest Dainn,” Innis said. “He's been nothing but good for our people, so there must be some logic behind his actions.”

Dalach just shook his head. “Well... I can't fault you for believing,” he said.

Innis sighed. “It seems petty of you to join just to see the world,” she said. “Like you're exploiting High Priest Dainn.”

Dalach looked uncomfortable at that, the two of them not looking at each other for the rest of the trip. When they pulled into the station, they stared awkwardly at each other for a moment.

“...Truce?” Dalach asked. “I know that we do not agree on things, but we are meant to work together. At the very least, we can remain friends in this”

Innis thought for a moment, and smiled, nodding. “Okay... I can work with that,” she said. The two of them gathered their meager possessions and headed out into the city. To Innis's surprise, the interior of the train station was warm. She looked around, seeing a massive magical dome surrounding the crystalline city.

Everything shone. That is what the two caribou noticed at first. Even the majority of the ponies there shone with a crystalline sheen. Ponies that glistened in the light strode about, wispy garments trailing with their movement.

“Oh wow,” Dalach said, pulling a notebook out of his robes. “I've heard they were called crystal ponies here, but I didn't realize it was a literal thing!”

“Beautiful...” Innis said, stunned.

“Thank you!” said a voice from beside them. The two caribou turned, seeing a crystal Earth pony in a short skirt and uniform shirt that left little to the imagination. On her hat was the words 'tour guide.' Innis glanced around, seeing other scantily clad tour guides of either gender coming up to the train passengers, approaching the ones that most obviously looked like tourists.

Innis bowed. “We... um...” she stammered, struck by the crystalline sheen of her coat. “Wow...”

The tour guide smirked. “Would you like to feel?” she said, unbuttoning her shirt, revealing more of her ample bosom. “Most newcomers wonder about our coats, and I don't mind letting someone grope me.” She blinked, and pulled a small bottle of hand sanitizer from a shirt pocket. “Use this first please,” she said, blushing.

Dalach chuckled. “Perfectly understandable,” he said, reaching out to accept it.

“Um...” Innis said, grabbing his hand. “We are forbidden from all intimate contact, remember?”

Dalach glared at her. Innis glared right back. “I know you're curious, Dalach,” she said. “But don't throw away the tenets of our leader, who's guarded and protected us for over a century, just because they're inconvenient for you!”

Dalach frowned. “You know that something's wrong with him,” he said. “Something's been wrong ever since the madness time.”

“And outright defying him is going to help him?!” Innis snapped. “Honestly, Dalach, why did you even join the Order to begin with?”

“Um...” the nervous-looking tour guide interrupted. “I can just leave...”

Dalach and Innis jumped, startled. They had forgotten the guide was there.

“My... my apologies,” Dalach said. “It's a personal disagreement between the two of us.”

“Yes. As for your... offer... our society has recently been forbidden from any and all forms of intimate contact, especially for members of the Order of the Holy Antler,” Innis explained, smiling.

“Huh...” the tour guide said, shrugging and buttoning her top. “Seems counterproductive... Okay, if you say so.”

Innis blinked. She had expected a bit more protest, considering the way High Priest Dainn had portrayed the populace. “Um...”

The tour guide smiled. “One of the prime laws of Equestria is No Means No,” she said. “I offered because I like people admiring my looks and I like feeling my boobs fondled. But you weren't interested, so I can't make you. I'll just explain.”

Innis and Dalach traded surprised looks. This was most definitely different from what they've heard from High Priest Dainn. The tour guide, not noticing, gently brushed her hand along one arm. The two caribou watched, surprised, as the crystalline fur moved like normal fur did.

“It's a cosmetic effect,” she said. “So long as the light of hope and joy shines in our hearts, empowering the Crystal Heart, its magic will help US shine as well!”

“It... it is magnificent,” Innis said. “A very lovely effect.”

The tour guide giggled. “Plus, if I take my clothes off and stand in the light just right, I can even turn invisible! But I'm not allowed to strip on the job,” she said. “Business Before Pleasure, another one of Equestria's strictest rules.”

Innis blinked, wondering why she felt a little disappointed at that.

“Are you from the original Empire?” Dalach asked, curious.

The tour guide nodded. “Yep! Name's Sunday Brunch,” she said. “It was a bit of a culture shock, this new way of doing things, but compared to how it might have gone for me? This is just too dang fun!”

Dalach blinked. “'How it could have gone?'” he asked.

Sunday Brunch's ears drooped, but she didn't lose her smile. “On the day the Princesses defeated Sombra and his curse caused us to disappear for so long, I had just come of age and was a potential candidate for becoming one of Sombra's personal concubines, a position which... had a low survival rate,” she said softly. She then smiled, her voice becoming more cheerful. “But in this day and age? I get to choose my lovers. I get to experience sex as it was meant to be, a joyous expression of life. And anyone that tries to force themselves on me gets their sexy bits cut off.”

“I... I'm sorry,” Dalach said, looking abashed. “I didn't mean to bring up a bad memory...”

Sunday smiled. “Ah, it's okay,” she said. “I'm just happy things are the way they are now.” She pulled up the side of her dress, revealing her Cutie Mark, a stack of pancakes. “I even finally got a chance to discover my special talent. Makin' breakfast food!”

No panties, Innis noticed, blushing. Why do I even care? She thought, squirming a little as her celibacy wrap became uncomfortable.

Dalach was blushing as well. “Ah, Cutie Marks! I've heard of those. They represent what a pony is best at, yes?” he asked, trying not to notice the shapely curves of Sunday's rump. His celibacy wrap was becoming unpleasantly tight.

Sunday nodded. “Uh huh! So shall we begin the tour? Or is there someplace in particular you two wanted to go?”

It took a moment for the two sexually-stifled caribou to recover themselves. “Yes, ah...” Innis said. “We were hoping to receive an audience with Empress Cadance and Emperor Shining Armor. We wish to be allowed to preach the values of Absolute Celibacy that our order espouses. Our ruler, High Priest Dainn...” She trailed off, realizing that the reason why she and Dalach were sent there would sound offensive to this kind pony.

Fortunately, Dalach came up with an alternate excuse quickly. “High Priest Dainn received a message from our Gods, saying that we should spread our gospel across the world. We were chosen to try and spread it here.”

“Thank you,” Innis said softly. To Sunday Brunch, she said, “We do not wish to violate any laws, so we wish an audience with your rulers to seek permission first.”

Sunday stroked her chin thoughtfully. “...You'll need to talk to Mrs. Harshwhinny, then,” she said. “Come on! She has an office a couple blocks from here! We can take my cart.”

Sunday Brunch led the two caribou outside and to a small, four-wheeled vehicle powered by a solar energy battery. The caribou stared at it, amazing. Sunday giggled. “Neat, huh? One of Princess Twilight Sparkle's inventions. They're really catching on throughout the kingdom, and I got lucky enough to buy one.”

Dalach grinned. “Amazing...” he said. “I'd love to know how it works.”

“Business before pleasure seems to be the rule here,” Innis said, frowning. “I believe we have a Mrs. Harshwhinny to talk to?”

Sunday Brunch unlatched the canvas roof of the car from the windshield and folded it down. “I don't know if your antlers will fit in, so I lowered the top. That okay?”

Dalach nodded. “That's fine,” he said, smiling.

Innis couldn't resist. “You just gave him a bit of an ego boost,” she said. “His antlers are somewhat small, compared to most bucks.”

Dalach glared at her, blushing and glancing up at his smallish anters. “I'm sorry,” Innis said, sighing, getting into the car. “It's been a long day...” Dalach got into the car as well, Sunday Brunch getting into the driver's seat.

“I'm gonna take the long way around,” she said. “I'm a tour guide, so I'll give you a bit of a tour on the way to Mrs. Harshwhinny's office.” And so she did, pointing out nearby historical landmarks and a few places to eat. As they passed, both Dalach and Innis couldn't help but notice the various couples being openly intimate with each other. Males and females, males and males, females and females, everyone was openly passionate with each other, ranging from holding hands to outright having sex in full view of the public. To their surprise, the couples having sex was treated as an everyday event. Some would stop to watch, but most would simply pass it by.

And then there was the other type of creature that walked openly amongst the streets of the city. Strange, bug-like stallions and mares with bright, colorful chitin instead of fur coats, no two color schemes alike, and gossamer, insectile wings wings. Their eyes glowed bright, solid colors, jewels seemed embedded in their necks, and their mouths had fangs. Despite their appearance, they seemed well accepted by the regular ponies, having just as much sex as their pony counterparts.

“...What are those bug pony things?” Innis asked.

Sunday Brunch briefly turned to her, startled. “You really don't know about the Changelings?”

“We've lived a cloistered life,” Dalach explained.

“Boy, I'll say,” Sunday said, chuckling and shaking her head. “Changelings are... well, they're a shape-shifting magical race that feeds off of positive emotions. They've been allies of Equestria for ages. Their Queen, Chrysalis, was once one of Princess Celestia's favorite concubines, but with Empress Cadance's rise to power and the restoration of the Crystal Heart, she and several hundred of her tribe migrated up here, where Chrysalis fell in love with Cadance and Shining Armor, marrying them both.”

“...Married them both?” Dalach asked. “I didn't think it was possible to marry more than one person. How does that even work?”

“Quite well, thank you!” Sunday chirped.

Innis chuckled at that. “And... I thought the Princess's name was pronounced Molestia?”

Sunday shrugged. “Molestia's just a nickname she likes,” she said, pulling up to a large, two-story office building forged out of shining crystals. “Not exactly flattering if you ask me, but whatever makes her happy, I suppose. Anyway, we're here.”

The two caribou got out of the car, staring in awe at the beautiful structure, looking almost like a triumphant fist being raised into the air. Sunday motioned for them to follow her inside.

Inside the reception area were several other crystal ponies and changelings, all chatting amiably with one another as they worked. Sunday Brunch took them upstairs, a changeling stallion sitting at the reception desk near the door to Harshwhinny's large private office.

“Sunday Brunch, right? From the tourism board?” the changeling asked, its voice carrying a slight clicking tone to it.

Sunday nodded. “Uh huh! These two here wanted to talk to Mrs. Harshwhinny about getting an audience with the Empress and Emperor.”

The changeling looked through a nearby ledger. “Hmmm...” he said softly. “She's actually in a meeting right now with Applejack, one of the Six Heroes. Seems she is wanting to establish a new farm up here and was getting some permits filled out.”

“That's not the only thing getting filled out,” Sunday said, having walked up to a clearly labeled peephole and saw what was going on in there. “Looks like they're done with negotiations. Holy moley... I didn't know they made them that big...”

Dalach and Innis blushed brightly when they got an idea of what was going on inside that room. The Changeling secretary nodded and got up, going to interrupt them. “Well, time to interrupt,” he said. “Business before pleasure.”

“We...” Innis stammered. “We are willing to wait, if Mrs. Harshwhinny and Applejack are busy.”

Sunday chuckled. The Changeling frowned. “Are you sure? It's no trouble...”

Innis smiled. “It's okay, really...”

Sunday, still at the peep hole, grinned widely. “Seriously, you should come see this. It's fantastic,” she said.

Dalach and Innis traded worried looks. This strange place... it conflicted with almost everything they knew about Equestria from earlier reports. Finally, Dalach stood up and said, “Please move aside, miss. I want to take a look.”

Sunday nodded, stepping aside and motioning to the peephole. Once Dalach took a good long look at the inside of the office, his jaw dropped.

“Wow...” he said softly.

TO BE CONTINUED...