Human: Shades of Grey

by Draven Eclipse

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Human, Main 6, Lyra, Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 78890

The Third rises. Also, Lyra becomes a cult leader.

Not so long ago, Equestria barely defeated two almost unstoppable creatures known as humans, which they called the Second and the First. Almost five years later, another one has shown up. The military takes up arms, the princesses are stricken with fear, and the Elements of Harmony assemble, ready for battle. But 'the Third' has no idea what's going on, and only wants to know how he came to be here, and how to get back home. Good questions indeed...But will he ever get his answers? Or will his predecessors' legacy catch up to him first?

“Side story/prequel to Human by DannyJ, but can be read on its own. Contains spoilers.”

Published 2012-05-27 14:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-15 00:29:49 UTC

Chapter 2: "I named it, thus it is mine."

“And like the Lord before, the Third did indeed prove his legitimacy as one of those beings that once graced Equestrian soil, but through different means than was expected. The Brothers came through the door and saw the picture of radiance, but soon the light did leave, and in its place was an emptiness and a feeling of fear as the Successor addressed his new subjects. And as they did once before, ponykind showed its darker side.”

-First Address of Third, from the Brotherhood of Man’s holy book A Darker World.

***

The early morning sun shone brightly across the landscape, illuminating every part of Hoofington in its warm glow. Unfortunately for the very tired human, this meant it was time for his eyes to become victims of its scorching rays. He grumbled in his bed, and if one listened closely enough, they would hear words such ‘stupid sun’ and ‘night forever’.

Funny how that worked out.

After a valiant battle to stay asleep, Hayato finally surrendered himself to the waking world. He grumbled as he rubbed his eyes and turned to look at his alarm clock to check the time. However, what he saw was nothing even closely resembling an alarm clock. No, what he found were two large, golden eyes staring at him, inches away from his face.

He blinked once, and then screamed like a little girl.

His screaming was cut short as he fell out of the small bed and to the floor. Not one to stay down for long, he came back up brandishing his tired looking kappa as a weapon.

“Be gone, hellspawn! I will use this!”

Lyra backed away.

“I apologize for this intrusion, Lord Third!”

Lord Third? Oh right, I'm still in the pony world. Fuck.

He was really banking on that whole fiasco being a really bad dream. Realizing he wasn’t in any danger, he dropped the kappa onto the bed. He leaned against the dresser and took some deep breaths, in an attempt to slow his rapidly beating heart.

“Are you alright, my Lord? Is anything the matter?” Lyra asked, with concern written across her features.

“Oh no, things are fantastic. I love heart attacks first thing in the morning. Really mixes things up, know what I mean?”

“I only came in to tell you that breakfast was ready, but I saw you sleeping, so I just, um...waited.”

She was watching me sleep? That’s not creepy at all. Although just to be safe I should probably count my kidneys.

“I shall give you some time alone. I left your breakfast in the kitchen. Oh, I also forgot to mention last night that I will be having some guests over later.”

“So, do you want me to hide in the bedroom or something?”

“I would not put you in a position where you would need to hide yourself. Well, at least within the house. The guests coming over are actually here to see you.”

“Why would ponies want to see me? ” Hayato asked with a raised eyebrow, “I thought you said humans were feared in Equestria?”

“While that is true for the majority of ponies, these ones are more like me," Lyra explained excitedly, "We do not see humans as great monsters. On the contrary, we see them as our salvation, and something we could learn a great deal from.”

So there are ponies who like humans other than her, eh? I shouldn’t be surprised, seeing as I am stuck in the land of butterflies and friendship. Although, didn’t she say one of the other humans was killed? Yeah, I am gonna have to keep an eye out for the crazies.

Wanting to give Third some space, Lyra pardoned herself and said she had to head into town to get some supplies for when the guests came. She drew all of her curtains, so that Third could walk around the house without worry of being spotted by the neighbors; if he was spotted, she knew things would not end well.

Once he was finally alone, Hayato walked back over to his bed and nudged the kappa laying upon it a few times. The kappa laid immobile, in exactly the position he was in a minute and a half ago.

“Damn, forgot about the water thing," Hayato grumbled, "We really need to do something about that. I don’t want you falling over and being stuck all the time...”

He began to search the room for anything that might be helpful. It did not take him long to dig through the closet and pull out a hat. A pirate captain's hat to be precise, most likely part of a Halloween costume of some kind. At least, that was his best guess as to what it was doing there.

Alright, this should work. Although it still won't protect the groove too well. It needs...something else.

Hayato made a quick run to the kitchen, and retrieved a large roll of saran wrap and a bowl full of water. He quickly tended to the kappa, pouring water into the groove to get him moving again and covering the top of it with the saran wrap to prevent it spilling out again, which he secured in place with some tape he found in a desk drawer. It'd probably come loose over time, but it would hold for a while.

When all was said and done, he placed the hat back on the kappa’s head. Finally pleased, he stepped back and admired his work. The kappa just blinked in confusion, and he smiled and gave it a sarcastic salute.

“Looking good, captain.”

Much to his amusement, the kappa mimicked the movement and saluted him back.

“Hmmm...I rather like that. As a name, I mean. Henceforth you shall be known as 'Captain', and we shall go on great adventures together! I’m not sure what kind of adventures exactly, but as long as we stick together, nobody can stop us!”

Captain tilted his head. Odd that he thought to do that, when usually that would just paralyze him.

Hayato felt his stomach rumble again. He realized he hadn’t had anything to eat since yesterday with Lyra. Again, the circumstances of their meeting and how he woke up in that field came back to him. He tried thinking back to two nights ago, when he guessed he had been dropped into this world. Try as he might though, he still couldn’t draw up any memories about what had happened.

The most recent thing he could remember was coming home late at night, just back from visiting relatives out of state and having spent most of the day traveling, and collapsing on his bed. And though it was his most recent memory, it still felt like it was a fair amount of time ago. It felt...distant. Something must have happened between then and when he woke up in the field; if only he could remember what.

He wondered how long he could last in a world such as Equestria, where everything apparently wanted him dead, and clearly had the means to make it happen. The better question though, was would he ever be able to get back home?

***

Celestia sat upon her throne, head bowed in contemplation. Soon, Twilight and her friends would arrive at the castle to begin celebrating Rainbow Dash’s birthday. Pinkie had gotten ahold of her earlier, and was planning to dedicate the entire week to one long party. Honestly, the princess was looking for a reason to take a vacation lately. The courts would last without her for one week.

However, that wasn’t going to happen now. She had not sent a letter to Twilight about the situation, and had instead opted to tell her student in person. Celestia did not know how she would react to the news of a new human, let alone the others, but she resolved to be there for her regardless of the reaction.

She cared very much for Twilight Sparkle. She was almost like the daughter she never had, in a way. Though, in recent years she had felt her relationship with Twilight to be less than motherly. After all the times she sent her student off into one dangerous situation or another, like some sort of soldier.

Is that what she had become? No longer a teacher wanting her student to learn, but a general sending her troops off to fight the creatures that go bump in the night? It pained her to think this, but in a way it was true. She wished very much to never have to send her student into the fields of danger again. Starting with Nightmare Moon, she had been steadily going down an ever slippery slope, slowly sending that mare and her friends off to deal with ever greater crises.

Like when she sent them to go deal with that dragon, for example.

Celestia knew however, that as long as there were threats such as humans, or the Spider Legion, that she would send them into battle again and again, because she had to. Like it or not, those ponies were Equestria's last, best line of defense.

The princess was shaken from her melancholic thoughts as the sound of trumpets filled the air. It was the signal that guests had arrived, so that the guards would all stand prime and professional for them. The doors at the far end of the hallway opened up, and two well armored pegasi strode into the room, followed by six familiar mares a little purple dragon.

One of them took a bow and announced the arrivals.

“I present Lady Sparkle and her companions; Ms. Rarity, Ms. Fluttershy, Ms. Apple, Ms. Dash, and Ms. Pie.”

"Ahem."

"...And Spike the dragon."

“Thank you, Vigilance. You may go now,” Celestia said with a smile.

Once the guards left the room, Twilight ran at full speed across the room to her mentor. Celestia met her halfway with a comforting and affectionate nuzzle. Although she bore grim news, it warmed her heart to see Twilight in such good spirits.

“Twilight Sparkle, my faithful student, it is so good to see you!”

“It's been too long, princess. I really should have visited sooner, but I get so caught up in my research and schedules that I just lose track of everything sometimes.”

“Haha, yes. I do know how you can get sometimes. Say, is your hair different? Oh, it must be a Tuesday,” the older mare teased.

Twilight's face turned a deep shade of red as she recalled the very embarrassing incident years before, that her friends had all taken to calling ‘Happy Tuesday’. It was a day she knew she would never live down, and which had unfortunately become a running joke between those in the know.

“Still, it is good to see you all well. I must thank you for being such good friends to Twilight, and taking such good care of her.”

“Aww shucks, Princess," said Applejack, "You don’t need tah thank us fer that. Twilight is a good friend to us too.”

“Now what we need is to get this party started!” shouted Pinkie excitedly.

It was at these words that princess's face fell. It was only for a second, but it was long enough for Twilight to notice that something was wrong. When she asked what was bothering her, Celestia sighed and took on a more serious tone. Using her magic, she summoned forth a table and some chairs that were off to the side of the room. She felt it would be best that they were all sitting when they heard the news.

The six ponies and their dragon companion sat down as prompted, and looked blankly at the princess, waiting for whatever she had to say.

“Girls, I am sorry to say that we are going to have to put the party on hold for now. Yesterday, while I was in my garden, I sensed a terrible presence arrive. There is a human in Equestria. I wished it weren’t so, but Luna confirmed it. She was woken from her slumber when she sensed the exact same thing.”

At the mention of humans, the air became very heavy. Rainbow Dash looked around, as if to see if the human was in the room with them already. Fluttershy looked as if she were on the verge of fainting. Celestia was sure she would have, if not for Rarity and Applejack doing their best to support her. Twilight was doing her best to avoid shaking like a leaf in the wind as she looked at her mentor.

“I-Is it the Second? Did he break free?”

“No Twilight, it is not. Luna and I checked the statue, and he is still trapped. This seems to a new one, a third if you will. I truly hate to have to ask you to do this, but I need you and your friends to take up the Elements of Harmony again, so that we can stop this one before it can do too much damage. I fear for what it might do if it were to learn the fate of its predecessors, or even worse, if it already knows and came here on a mission of vengeance. If it is anything like the last ones, it could very well destroy us all.”

***

Echo Fleetfoot flew high in the sky above Cloudsdale. She was taking a breather from practice, and flying simply just to fly. No tricks, no speed, just a relaxing trip through the clouds. It wasn’t uncommon for her or one of her teammates to do so every once in awhile. They spent all of their work time in a competitive mode, so they understood when any of them occasionally needed some down time.

She spent a long time alone in the clouds before she was joined by fellow Wonderbolt, Soarin. Fleetfoot altered her wing beats to match Soarin’s, and soon enough they were double flying. Every time one took a turn, the other would match it. It wasn’t anything competitive; just a way to keep the flying from becoming monotonous.

“So Soarin, what brings you up here?” she asked, finally breaking the silence.

“Eh, not much. You just looked bored up here, all by your lonesome. Thought I would join you.”

Fleetfoot arched her eyebrow, as she examined her companion. The odds that he would come up here because she looked bored were slim. In fact, the odds that he would do that for anypony that didn’t have a pie strapped to them were even slimmer. Soarin gulped as he realised his little lie wasn’t getting him anywhere.

“Okay, so maaaybe I might have told Spitfire that her suit was looking a bit tighter than usual. I didn’t really mean it, of course! She just kept going on and on about how I shouldn’t be eating so much pie, because It’s not good for your figure,” Soarin explained, mimicking Spitfires voice at the end.

“You called Spitfire fat? Oh wow, you are one dead stallion Soarin. I don’t think there is anywhere in Equestria you could hide from that kind of wrath.”

“Oh, I’m not so sure about that,” the stallion replied nervously, “I heard the Everfree Forest is quite lovely this time of year. Maybe I will go and visit...”

Fleetfoot just laughed. Off in the distance, she could see an orange streak flying through the air. It would occasionally stop before resuming its flight, almost as if it were looking for somepony. A grin formed on her lips and she made a loud shout, before pointing at Soarin.

The blur seemed to stop for a moment before rocketing towards them at high speed. Soarin looked over to his friend, on the verge of tears.

“Why?”

“You remember that time you put itching powder in my flight suit before the Las Pegasus show? Well now we are even.”

She smiled and gave him a light thump on his back. Not yet resigned to his fate, Soarin rocketed off at top speed, away from the approaching entity of rage in pony form. Fleetfoot simply laughed and waved at Spitfire as she passed by. Normally Spitfire would say hello, but right now she was a pony on a mission. Soon, both were gone.

Looking at the positioning of the sun, Fleetfoot realized it was time to meet up with her friends. Apparently something happened at Lyra's house, and they all had to meet up there. She wasn’t really sure what was going on, as Fancy Pants chose four o'clock in the morning to tell her they were meeting, and so she mostly nodded and ignored what he said.

Making one last loop in the air, she tucked her wings in and streamlined her way towards the city of Cloudsdale. Her original plan was to simply go down and land, but old habits kicked in and she started narrowing herself to pick up more speed. She had a good ways to go before reaching the 'ground' level of the city, so she had plenty of space to spare for picking up speed.

The faster she went, the more the air around her body began to form into an almost visible cone. It was if she were pressing against a clear film that was ready to break at any minute. Could she really do it this time? Could she really pull off the legendary Sonic Rainboom, like their most recent new member Rainbow Dash could?

According to physics? No. As per her usual attempts at trying the technique, the clear film rebounded like a piece of taut rubber that had been let go, and she was sent spiraling out of control through the sky.

She was pretty sure she was able to shout a warning to anypony on the ground that might be nearby so they could clear the way. She wasn't sure though, as the rebound had knocked the air out of her lungs.

Any second now she was sure to feel the impact of the clouds that would be accompanied by a lot of pain. Luckily for her, she managed to tuck her wings into her sides so they wouldn't get broken in the fall. After a few seconds though, no pain came at all. In fact she felt rather tingly across her whole body.

Fleetfoot opened her right eye, and saw that she was staring at an alabaster unicorn with a rather unimpressed look on his face. Noting the scar on his left eye, a smile broke out on her face. She recognized the unicorn and who had caught her with his magic; he always did, after all.

"Hey there, Abstract. Thanks for catching me. Again. You're a real sweetheart."

"It was either catch you or let you break part of the city. It was a tough choice, but it wouldn't be fair to the city if I didn't catch you."

"Awww, you really did it because you cared about my safety," she giggled.

Not even a full second after the words left her mouth, she was dropped off the edge of the clouds and was hurdling quickly to the earth. Unlike before, she still had her wits about her, and she properly opened her wings to catch an updraft and break the fall. She flew back up to the city to find the unicorn sitting in a chariot, waiting to leave.

"Hey, that wasn't funny! What would you have done if I hadn't been able to stop my fall?"

"I would have read the eulogy I have prepared. It would have been a very lovely service," he said with a flat tone.

"Ha ha, you say that like you actually have a eulogy prepared for me....You don't actually have one, do you?"

Abstract Theory gave her a look that would put professional poker players to shame. He simply turned his head and told the pegasi pulling the chariot that they were ready to head to Hoofington.

***

“Why does she have to have so many damn books?” Hayato yelled in frustration.

For the last fifteen minutes, he had been spending his time in what he assumed to be Lyra's private study. The study housed at least twenty bookshelves that were filled to the brim with reading materials. Much like when he awoke earlier that morning, he could not help but think about his current predicament. Not only was he curious as to how he managed to actually get stuck here, but information about the other humans who had been here before him.

He couldn't help it. He was stuck on an alien world that he had only the vaguest of second hand knowledge about. And even then, he only knew some of the places and names of things, and of course a few character names. He did know for instance that there was a unicorn called Rarity who lived in a big girly play set shaped like a carousel. That however, was hardly useful information.

While searching through the library seemed like a good idea in theory, it did not fly so well in practice. It turned out that Lyra had some kind of mystical sorting system that shunned normal conventions. In fact, he was pretty sure Melvil Dewey would break out into tears if he ever saw this mess. They might as well be scattered across the floor for all the good it was doing.

Having no other effective method of searching, he randomly pulled a book off the shelf and began to read it.

The heat of the moment was almost too much for either of them to bear. The azure mare beneath her shuddered as she drew her hoof down her fur. This would be a night that neither of them would forget...

The human stared horrified at the book in his hands. He could not even process what was before his eyes and so instead opted to throw the offending material across the room.

“Nope, FUCKING NOPE!” he shouted, walking far away from what he was sure was to forever haunt his dreams.

What the hell was something like that doing here? This was MY LITTLE PONY, not Who Framed Roger Rabbit. What the hell was anything like that doing in this world? Either the writers of this show had some kind of sick side to them, or the letter was right. These ponies were real, and in ways that were going to require vast amounts of alcohol or a lot of time for him to forget.

In fact, that sounded rather nice. He was going to have to ask Lyra about getting him enough alcohol to black out and forget this ever happened. He didn’t care if he fell into another stargate, or whatever the hell happened. All he knew is it was definitely worth the risk.

After doing his best to purge the hellish scripture from his mind, he continued on with his search. Although this time he made sure to give that particular shelf a wide berth. Eventually though, he got lucky, and came across a tome titled A Brief History of Equestria. Finally glad to find something useful, he took the book over to a nearby chair and sat down.

Although eager to find out what happened, Third found himself rather perplexed. Standing up, he turned and looked at the chair he had just sat on. It looked like a perfectly normal chair that you would find anywhere. Although the fact that it was so normal stuck out. He was in a land dominated by horses, why would they have a chair like this? Could a pony even use one?

Unable to help himself, he pictured Lyra trying to sit like a human in the chair. He got a laugh out of how absurd that would be. There was no way that would actually be possible. Sitting back down in the chair, he skimmed through the book, taking in some of the minor details that seemed to be important, like the roles of three races of ponies and a bit of background on the ruling princesses.

Eventually though, he located the section about the arrival of the humans.

During the final weeks of summer of the year ----, there came two beings of immense power and ability. Never before or since had such creatures of immeasurable strength and tenacity menaced Equestria. These 'humans' were capable of incredibly feats of agility, could move at unprecedented speeds even while grounded, and had such fighting skill and magical power as to outmatch entire armies at once, not to mention their possession of the legendary Reaper's Horn, one of the only weapons known to be able to harm the alicorn princesses.

It is believed that not even the Nameless One or Discord at the height of their power would have been able to match Lords Second and First in battle, let alone lesser villains such as Sliske the Destroyer or Queen Chrysalis of the changelings. The advent of the humans arrival would come to be remembered as one of the most brutal conflicts of recent times, on par with many actual wars.

When these creatures first arrived in Equestria, they brought only one thing with them. Violent, bloody war. Everywhere they went, a fight was sure to follow. Their attacks did not have a particular pattern, and it did not matter to them what species they fought with, as long as they could sing their war songs.

The Equestrian military met the humans head on, and time after time were soundly defeated. Legions of ponies would rise against the creatures, only to be defeated again and again. However, during the battle of Coltanooga, the tides were finally turned when a lone soldier, Private Steel Hammer of the 445th Legion, wrestled the legendary Reapers Horn from the hands of Lord First. He then used the weapon against the human, killing him.

It was said that after going on a rampage through the soldiers, the Second recovered his ally's body and fled the battle. In response, his attacks became much more frequent and vicious, and he began to target specific large cities to cause maximum chaos. Just days after the Fall of the First, at the battle of Fillydelphia, Lord Second met the bearers of the Elements of Harmony on the battlefield and was encased in stone, ending his reign of terror forever.

For further information on the Elements of Harmony and the humans, see A History of Harmony Part II: Return and Resurgence.

Hayato stared down at the page, honestly quite shocked. He knew humans were feared in Equestria, but he was surprised to find out exactly why they were hated. Somehow, these people had taken on entire armies by themselves and stood undefeated. Well, until one of them was killed anyways...

“Wait a second....Is that a fucking shotgun?!”

He had just turned the page and found a number of sketches and photographs made to illustrate the section. Most prominently, there was one box which according to the annotation was an artist's sketch of the famous Reaper's Horn, based on descriptions of the item. Sure enough, right there on the page was a pump action shotgun.

The almighty weapon that could hurt these ponies' immortal ruler, was nothing more than an ordinary gun. The irony was not lost on him.

Looking over the sketches a few times, he stopped on the picture of the Second. He had the look of a good ol' southern boy, with that cowboy hat and moustache. He looked to be an older gentleman, sixty years old at least. Something about his face seemed familiar, but he couldn’t quite place it. Figuring it was probably just one of those faces, he let it go. What struck him though was ‘Lord First’.

He was almost in shock. This kid could not have been any older than sixteen, and somehow he took down an army? Shotgun or not, that was simply not possible.

Hayato went back over to the shelf and placed the book where he found it, although he tore out the pages with the sketches, in case he needed them. Hopefully Lyra wouldn't notice. Right beside where he put the book back, he saw another one with a slightly worn spine. The only word he could make out on it was ‘history’. Figuring it must be the other book he was looking for, he took it back to the seat and began to read it.

My heart raced as Miss Jubilee walked closer to me. The rest of the class had left, but she wanted me to stay. Could she have realized that I was the one who sent her that letter?

“You have been skipping class quite a lot, Starbeam. And now your grades are suffering for it. You have been a bad, bad stallion,” she said in a low, sultry tone, “But I am going to give you a chance to make up the grade. It is time for an oral exam...”

A loud roar of anguish echoed throughout the entire town of Hoofington. Although the citizens could not find whatever had made such an awful noise, they all agreed on one thing; to make such a sound, it had to be in a great deal of pain.

***

Fancy Pants strode through the humble town of Ponyville at a casual gait. He knew that today was a momentous occasion, and that he should probably be in a hurry. However, he still had his dignity to keep, and could not allow himself to be seen running through the streets like a foal. Even out here in Ponyville he knew that word would somehow reach Canterlot, and that was a place that could turn on anypony at the drop of a hat.

Yes, even him.

Many ponies smiled or waved to him as he passed by. He was rather well known in this town now, for many reasons. One was his friendship with Rarity, owner of a lovely fashion outlet in the heart of Ponyville and something of a local celebrity. To a lesser extent, he was also on familiar terms with a few of the other Elements of Harmony who resided here, and he was also well known for his extremely generous donations to the town's restoration fund, following a battle with the Spider Legion some years prior.

He believed that what earned their respect the most was his refusal to allow a statue of him to be built to honor his donation. There were some ponies that deserved to be immortalized in stone, and he did not count himself among their noble ranks. That didn't stop them from placing a commemorative plaque in town hall though.

As he continued his walk through town, he detected a rather delicious smell in the area. Looking around he spotted the famed bakery, Sugar Cube Corner. After a slight rumble in his stomach, he decided to stop in and grab a quick bite to eat. Who knew, maybe his quarry might be in there?

Entering the establishment, Fancy Pants's nose was hit by a barrage of scents. They ranged from sweet, to tangy, and everything in-between. Needing only a moment to adjust to the atmosphere, he made his way up to the counter. He was greeted by small yellow unicorn filly with an orange mane sitting at the cash register.

"Hi there, welcome to Shugah-Cube Corner!," exclaimed the filly, not quite pronouncing it right.

"Is that you Pumpkin Cake? My, how you have grown! I see your parents are already letting you run the counter."

"Actually, she isn't supposed to be up there," said Mrs. Cake as she emerged from the kitchen.

Sensing it was time to make a quick exit, the little filly scrambled off the seat and began to run upstairs.

"Hello there, Fancy Pants. Lovely to see you again! Is there anything I can get you?"

"A crescent roll would be lovely, dear," the unicorn replied, placing the necessary coin on the counter.

In a matter of moments his food was bagged and waiting for him to leave.

"You wouldn't happen to know where Miss Bon Bon is, do you?"

"She should be at her shop at this time of day. Although, I think she's getting ready to leave for a trip; you may want to hurry if you want to catch her."

Once he left, it did not take him long to reach the rival confectionery place and head inside. Just as Mrs. Cake told him, Bon Bon was indeed in the process of putting her shop away.

"Bon Bon, my dear, I thought you would have been ready to go by now? You are usually quite punctual."

The cream colored mare gave him a brief smile and returned to packing.

"Sorry, Fancy. I had a sale today, which was well received. My last customer left no less than five minutes ago. And at that point I was practically pushing him out the door."

"Ah, quite understandable then. I too know how the tide of business can be, and shall not hold it against you. If you would like I could assist you in arranging the rest of the store?"

"It's alright, I am done now. But more importantly, is it true? Did Lyra really find a human in Hoofington?" she asked, with barely disguised excitement in her voice.

Fancy Pants also cracked a smile. No matter how old this mare got, she still acted like a little filly sometimes. Lyra was much the same. He suspected she had an influence on her.

"I believe so. You know how Lyra is; she would never lie about something like this. You should have seen her face though, Bon Bon. I have never seen her so happy before."

They locked up the shop and began to head toward the center of town, where the chariot was awaiting them. They discussed many topics along the way, most of which revolved around the human and what it would be like. None of them had had a chance to meet the First or Second when they had been in Equestria, minus Abstract Theory of course, and Lyra got a brief glimpse of them in Canterlot once.

They reached their chariot and were soon on their way to Hoofington. Unfortunately, they were not able to continue their conversation, as it was an open air chariot and the pegasi flying them might have overheard. Fancy Pants was regretting not taking out the carriage now. It was much more private. He would have really liked to have gone by airship, but he never did replace his old one after his last pilot accidentally flew it into a mountain.

That did not stop his mind from buzzing with possibilities however. Truly, this would be an experience unlike any other.

***

Luna sat quietly in front of a table with a large, magically enchanted map of Equestria placed on it. This was the part of the castle that had since been renamed the war room. Before, it had been another unused and unnecessarily large office, but since Equestria started getting into a lot of wars all of a sudden, she and her sister needed a planning room like this.

Staring down at the map, she could not help but shiver at the thought of a being of such chaos and destruction as a human was on the loose somewhere out there, just waiting to be set off, if he had not been already.

Soon enough, she heard a knocking at the door and quickly gained her composure. Several ponies entered the room. Most of them were typical rank and file soldiers, who were only there because they had to escort the captain wherever he went. Luna smiled softly at her old friend. It always helped her relax knowing that he was there for her.

“Shining Armor, I am glad you could make it to this meeting so swiftly.”

“Not a problem," he replied, "It's important that we devise a plan quickly though, and move out as soon as possible. Every second that thing is out there...”

Luna turned to the soldiers that had come with Shining Armor and gestured for them to leave the room. They complied and left to stand guard outside. She normally liked to have as many ponies present as possible when planning, as she had learned from experience that rank and file soldiers and ordinary ponies often had some unique insight to contribute to discussion that higher-ups often would not. However, this was a private conversation.

Once she was alone with Shining Armor, her visage of confidence melted.

“To tell you the truth, Shining, I am scared. When I sensed the human yesterday, I froze up. What would have happened if it was in the room with me? I would have been completely useless!”

“It's understandable," the unicorn said comfortingly, placing a hoof on her shoulder, "After what Second did to your sister, I wouldn't say any fears you had were unfounded. Everypony's afraid of dying. I am too. It's nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Do you remember them? The humans, I mean?”

Shining Armor looked off to the side in thought before replying.

“Vividly.”

“What was it like for you?

"I only saw them a few times, but those times stuck with me. I was on break when they first appeared, so acting captain Blade Edge was in charge. He told me all about it when I came back though. First time I saw them was Manehattan. I was in the city itself, maintaining a shield while the rest of the army was out fighting."

Shining Armor was not even looking at Luna. His eyes were directed towards a nearby wall, but his mind was back in the past, deep in recollection. After a few moments, he shook himself free from his thoughts, and offered an apology for zoning out like he had.

“Anyways, that was the first time I ever encountered them. Not a good day. That barrier didn't last twelve minutes, and the army lasted thirty at most. It was a uniquely humbling experience, considering what it took to bring it down the only other time anypony accomplished such a thing.

“The second time I met them, was when they broke into the palace. I believe they were there with the sole intention of annoying your sister. I believe it had something to do with food, but I never got the full explanation. Princess Celestia summoned the guard, my sister and her friends were there and they got away, and we took them on again. This time I fought directly with the First, but nothing I tried could touch him; he dodged everything I threw at him, including spears and pottery.”

“Oh," said Luna, "So you were the pony who destroyed my pottery? I guess that recruit was telling the truth during his tortu- interrogation.”

Shining Armor just stared at her, with a look on his face that said, ‘I don’t even know you anymore’. Luna did her best to keep a straight face, but soon broke into a fit of giggles that made the captain facehoof. He couldn’t believe he had actually taken that seriously, even for a second.

“ANYWAYS, like I was saying, nothing seemed to hit him. He just kept dancing around my attacks. Literally. He was doing a weird human dance to evade me. That was embarrassing. And then Second came right out of nowhere, kicked me in the side, I went flying and next thing I know it's three days later and I'm wearing a cast. Blade Edge took over my duties for the rest of the campaign, and a few weeks later, First was dead and Second was stoned."

Shining Armor finishing his recounting his tale and sighed.

"I think that was actually the most humiliating moment of my career. At least when it was the changelings I had the excuse of being brainwashed at the time, and it was actually me and Cadance who stopped them in the end. I never really did get back at Second and First though."

Luna nodded.

“I would say you got off luckier than most, actually," she commented, "Most of the other ponies when they got hurt fighting were stuck in the castle infirmary or various hospitals. At least you got to stay home, and you had Cadance playing nurse for you. I am guessing your recovery took a long time.”

Shining Armor turned his back to her. Although she could no longer see his face, Luna was quite sure his cheeks were inflamed right now. Even though he was married, he always a gentlecolt, and always got embarrassed when such subjects were brought up. Clearly his parents did a good job raising him. Unfortunately, that just made it easier for Luna to know which buttons to push.

Once his cheeks stopped burning, Shining Armor suggested that they actually got to work on a plan. Pouring over the map, they began to properly plan out how they were going to find the new human. Ever since they sensed the human's arrival, Luna and her sister had thought they'd be able to follow some kind of intangible trail right to it, but it went cold very quickly, and soon they couldn't sense it at all. She suspected the human was actively covering his tracks.

Hours later, the two stood outside Canterlot at the bottom of the mountain, in front of a massive legion of ponies that covered the fields for miles. Their plan was to divide the army into two, with each of them leading one half to search Equestria for the human. They would have divided it further, but then the army might not have had the forces necessary to hold it off for the rest to arrive, should it come down to another battle.

The soldiers all stood tall, fierce and proud. No matter how they truly felt on the inside, they had to show confidence and composure in these trying times. Shining Armor stepped up to the podium to address the troops. He magically grasped the microphone and cleared his throat as he mentally prepared his speech.

“As you know, Equestria is once again facing one of the greatest threats it has ever seen before. Some of you were there last time, when the humans arrived in our beautiful country. I know that many of you are scared, and that is alright; we are up against a foe of a species many consider to be gods.

"But I want you to remember, my friends, that we have beaten gods before, and with hard work and dedication, we can beat them again! If ordinary ponies like us can do battle with the likes of the Nameless One and come out on top, then with all of us working together, this human doesn't stand a chance."

The crowd seemed to like that.

Shining Armor turned back to look at Luna, who nodded in approval. He had garnered much experience in giving motivational speeches over the years. She remembered the one he gave at the final battle against the Atlanteans; it had moved her to tears. He had a gift for words that could scarcely be matched.

After wishing each other luck, they began to march their troops off to begin the hunt.

***

Lyra watched in amusement as the Third found himself in a most vicious battle with the kappa he had brought into her home. They both seemed to enjoy the food she had prepared, and she was delighted to learn Lord Third was fond of the apple cider that she had provided. It also turned out the kappa enjoyed it, which caused an issue when there was only enough for one more cup.

Thus Lyra found herself watching what had to be a record for the world's longest staring contest. The two of them had been going at it for a good twenty minutes now. Her eyes felt dry just watching them.

“Listen here, Captain. That cider is mine, so you had better just give up and accept your defeat like a gentleman.”

For a moment, she could have sworn she heard the kappa snort. After another five minutes, Third finally blinked in surrender.

“Damnit, Cap! How do you do it for so long?! Your head has to be filled with water or something.”

Captain took a victorious gulp of cider, and made a loud, content sigh to taunt his master.

“That’s cold, Captain. Very cold.”

Lyra was surprised that the creature was getting along so well with the Third. There were ponies who would attack a human on sight, yet this kappa was holding staring contests with one. It made her wonder who was truly the more evolved creature. However, it did not lessen her concern or fear of it in any way.

“My Lord, are you sure that we should be keeping a kappa around?" she asked, "They're a very dangerous species, and have been known to attack ponies.”

“No way. I've always wanted a pet, and now I have one. I named it, thus it is mine. Besides, Captain won't hurt you, will he?”

At this, the kappa scratched his neck and seemed to be pondering the thought for a moment, before shaking his head to say 'no'. Lyra was not as comforted by this as Third seemed to assume she was though. That thing still had that look in its eye; that hungry look.

She excused herself from the group, and decided not to say anything about her pirate hat that Captain was wearing. It appeared that Lord Third was using it to help the creature overcome its habit of becoming immobilized when the water in its head spilled out. A commendable act of kindness on his part, though she couldn't say that she was happy that he had taken away one of the kappa's only real weaknesses. When they went on the offensive, that was usually the easiest way to stop them. Still though, it was an act of charity that only served to reaffirm her respect for humans.

Meanwhile back in the living room, the human was sitting on the couch beside Captain, and staring at the cup in his hands.

“Come on, just let me get one little drink? We’re buddies aren’t we?”

Captain looked over at his master and back to his cup. He seemed to consider the request for a few seconds before handing the cup over with a sigh. Hayato smirked as the cup was placed into his hands. Little did the kappa know that he was about to finish off the rest of this cup in revenge for the obvious taunt.

He quickly threw back the cup and experienced the refreshing taste of....air? Quickly, he looked down at his cup and realized that the thing was empty. Off to the side, Captain was clearly laughing. In fact the thing laughed so hard it rolled off the couch. That hat made him invincible.

Not once, but twice today he had been upstaged by his pet. Captain was proving to be cocky, crafty, and mischievous. In a sense, he was perfect.

There was a knock at the door. He could hear Lyra in the hallway speaking to who he was assuming were the guests that wanted to see him. He stood up and peered through the curtains to try and get a look at them before they came in. Unfortunately they had already entered the house and were standing in the doorway behind him.

“Everypony, this is Lord Third," Lyra introduced, "Lord Third, this is Bon Bon, Fancy Pants, Echo Fleetfoot, and Abstract Theory.”

As he turned around, his hair band broke and caused his long hair to come loose and shimmer around his shoulders. Behind him the curtains were still parted enough to cause the light to glow around his body, enhancing his features further. It was at this precise moment that a choir based in the park across the street began their daily practice.

All five ponies stared at him in awe before falling to their knees in reverence. They deemed it an honor to be in the presence of such a glorious being. Even Lyra who had already held a conversation with him was taken aback by his glowing visage. They could only wonder what beautifully prepared words he would use to greet them with.

“Aww damn it, my hair band broke,” he complained, pulling the torn band from his hair.

At that moment you could hear a pin drop from a mile away. This silence, that would later be known as the golden moment, was destroyed by Echo breaking up into a fit of giggles. As the ponies regained their composure Hayato just stared at them in confusion. They had just been looking at him as if they were blind men seeing colors for the first time.

Ponies were weird. He had already decided that when he met Lyra, and he was glad that he had spent most of his time here so far interacting with a mythical creature instead. He actually found that far less weird, somehow, and at least he knew where he stood with Captain.

He was now sure he was never going to figure this place out. Either humans were hated and feared, or they were viewed as gods. If there was anything he could compliment them on, it was that the ponies in this world did not do things halfway. They went all out.

Hayato stood there feeling incredibly awkward, as nobody else said anything and the pegasus just laughed. With nothing better to do, he sat down on the couch beside Captain, and shot Lyra a look telling her to do something. All they were doing was staring at him. It was creepy as hell, and reminded him of his rude awaking that morning.

“S-so everypony, how about we all take seats now hmm?” Lyra suggested, taking the hint.

It was when everyone looked for a place to sit that people finally noticed the kappa in the room. Another brief moment of silence happened before all hell broke loose in the room. Abstract Theory and Fancy Pants’ horns began to glow for combat while Bon Bon hid behind Lyra. Meanwhile Echo took to the air and was ready to flank the creature and attack from behind like she was trained to do.

Witnessing three mythological beings, two which could use magic, violently lunge in his direction and launching into fighting stances all triggered an unfortunate reaction from the human. He flailed to try and get up from the couch quickly, and only succeeded in kicking the coffee table full force and knocking it through the ceiling and into the attic.

“What the hell Lyra?! I thought you said they liked me!” he shouted while brandishing a potted fern as threateningly as he could.

“My Lord, there's a kappa behind you!” Fancy Pants explained in a rushed voice, horn still glowing.

“You mean Captain? He’s my pet.”

Everyone with the exception of Lyra stared at him dumbfounded. Kappas were one of ponies' greatest enemies. They had been known to trick and kill those who wandered near the water for as long as they could remember. There was no reasoning with them either; they just seemed to hate ponies on principal.

Ponies would tell stories about them to their foals as a cautionary tale, and here was a human, keeping one as a pet just like a cat or dog. Truly another symbol of his unquestionable divinity.

Taking charge, Lyra defused the situation with the kind of skill and precision that was needed to working with self-entitled musicians all the time. Granted, she was upset about the new hole in her ceiling, but decided it better to just let it go. Even though they all wanted to sit close to Third, their fear of Captain kept them away from the couch; Captain seemed to thoroughly enjoy this, and would periodically grin at them all. From time to time, they saw him lick his lips and stare at one them when he thought his master wouldn’t notice.

Even though he knew it was the Pegasi’s gimmick, Hayato was still surprised to see the one known as Fleetfoot sitting on a cloud she had brought in the room. Once or twice he felt the urge to reach out and touch the cloud, but resisted because he didn’t know if these ponies bit or not.

He had been bitten one time too many by a horse growing up, and it made him a little gun shy. He never did go to a petting zoo again after that day.

His eyes also could not help but be drawn to the hole in the ceiling he had created. At this point the ponies began to talk among themselves, so he didn’t actually have to pay attention to them. Somehow he had sent a damn coffee table through there, and he had no idea how he did it. His best guess was adrenaline, but that seemed like bullshit even to him. Adrenaline did not turn you into Superman.

During his musings, he realized that the conversation in the room had stopped. Apparently they were all waiting for him to say something, but he hadn’t been paying attention to a thing they were talking about. Although he was pretty sure it was about him. Luckily for him, he had encountered this situation before. It happened whenever he would ignore what his girlfriend was saying. It was time to use his ultimate ability: winging it.

“...Yes,” he said as convincingly as possible.

“Wow, that is rather amazing of you, my Lord,” Fleetfoot said with awe in her eyes.

Whew, dodged a bullet. I’m sure that won’t come back to bite me in the ass later.

After that, the questioning went on and on. Every answer he gave them was extremely vague, but that seemed to only increase his appeal to him. The questions were getting weirder too, and he had been called ‘Lord’, ‘Great One’, and several more impressive descriptors over the course of the conversation, to the point it was getting pretty uncomfortable. He was beginning to feel like the head of a cult.

He managed to excuse himself for the room to grab something to drink. In reality though, he just wanted to get out of that room for a few minutes; he was starting to suffocate in there.

***

“So...” Lyra began, “What do you think of him?”

“He's just like we talked about years ago," Bon Bon replied, "although admittedly a bit rougher around the edges.”

“I don’t know, he seems pretty nice to me," said Fleetfoot, already defending him, "Maybe he was just a bit on edge, most ponies don’t like humans remember? I don't think we made the best impression with him when we went for the kappa...”

“True. He did give Lyra a new sunroof when he thought we were going to attack him," Abstract Theory agreed, "I would not be surprised if he did not trust any of us yet.”

“You saw Lord First and Lord Second more than any of us, Abstract. How different does he seem to you, personality wise?”

“I would have to say that Lord Third seems more restrained. Lords First and Second seemed much more carefree and boisterous than he does. I remember hearing that they sung a lot, yet I have yet to hear Third so much as whistle a tune. Perhaps he is feeling weighed down by the actions of his predecessors?” he suggested to the group.

It did sound like a good reason for why he wasn’t as outgoing as they expected. Perhaps once they figured out a way to integrate him into Equestria, he would be more relaxed? Although, that was easier said than done.

This line of thinking caused the group go silent for a moment as they all contemplated what must have been on the human's mind at that moment. Eventually, Fancy Pants broke the silence with an observation of his own.

“His clothing is most unusual though. I am curious as to why humans cover their entire bodies in clothing. It seems to be the exact opposite of what ponies do.”

“Well maybe they get cold easier than ponies do?" Lyra suggested, "Other than Lord Third’s mane, I did not see any kind of coat on his body. Perhaps they just use clothing to stay warm?”

This sparked up discussion again.

“Can humans even get cold? It seems to me that a being as powerful as a human shouldn't even be affected by temperature.”

"Well, the princesses still get hot or cold sometimes, just like regular ponies."

"Maybe it's a cultural thing?"

“The only way we could find out is by asking him," Lyra pointed out, "However I don’t think we should right now; if we pester him too much, he may become uncomfortable, or even annoyed. All we can do is be courteous to him and wait until he opens up to us. It’s like they say, Roam wasn’t built in a day.”

“I am more fascinated about his appearance right now,” said Abstract Theory, “His skin and hair color are much different from First and Second. It makes me wonder if humans have a wide variety of colors like ponies do.”

“Leave it to Abstract to focus in on the most minute of details," teased Fleetfoot, "Where some ponies can’t see the forest for the trees, you would focus on the bark of one tree and forget there was an entire forest.”

“At least I can see the tree before running into it, unlike some ponies,” Abstract retorted without missing a beat.

At this, the entire group burst out into laughter. Surprisingly enough, the normally stoic Abstract Theory joined them in a rare instance of laughing at one of his own jokes. During the laughter Fleetfoot accidentally kicked the cloud she was sitting. Lightning flashed and thunder reverberated throughout the room, knocking out the lights. With the whole room darkened from the curtains being pulled, the lightning flashes briefly became the only illumination in the room.

“Woah, watch what you are doing on that cloud, Fleetfoot. I already have to pay to have my ceiling fixed! I don’t want fire damages as well.”

“Sorry Lyra. In my defense, you were all laughing too.”

“Yes we were, however we aren’t all sitting on a ball of lightning that could destroy my house.”

“I say, Lord Third has been gone for quite some time now. Do you think that he requires any assistance?”

Fancy Pants was right. Third had been gone for longer than he said he would be. It did not take long for one to go to the kitchen and back. Lyra got down off the couch and made her way to the kitchen to see if something was the matter. When she reached the room, her heart sunk. Across the room, the house’s back door was swinging wide open.

***

Finally out of that room, Hayato was able to relax. Who knew being in the same room as a bunch of weird pastel horses could put you on edge? Now that he was away from them, he could get his bearings and properly assess the situation he now found himself in.

For the most part the group he met did not seem hostile towards him. If you forgot about them attempting to murder his pet and causing him to somehow annihilate a coffee table, then things had been wonderful thus far. After pouring himself a glass of water he sat down on a kitchen chair.

He was not sure how exactly to go about things. His original plan was to find the Second and have him help him out. Unfortunately, that plan got shot to hell when he read the history book. Now he had to figure out a way home and worry about his survival in a hostile world on his own. Well not completely on his own. Fate had been kind enough to give him Captain after all, and he supposed those friends of Lyra's seemed friendly enough.

The biggest thing at the moment was the way he was being treated. He was never really a vain person, and felt odd about being revered as some sort of deity. A part of him was uncomfortable with it, while another part of him thought it was pretty cool. If they considered him a god then maybe they would be willing to help him find a way back to his ‘pantheon’. The thought alone made him chuckle.

His laughter stopped however when he saw potential in this. If the ponies in this world thought he was some sort of god, then they might be afraid to try attack him. Granted, they had magic and could fly, but if they thought he had some hidden powers they might be reluctant to even try. Hell, the only thing he apparently had to worry about was these 'Elements of Harmony' that the book mentioned. All he would need to do is run and hide if they came for him.

Actually, thinking about it, weren't the Elements of Harmony the main characters of the show? He was sure they were. He recalled a toy set being produced a while back which featured the so called 'main six' from the show with jewelry accessories. Maybe those were the elements?

Shrugging, he took a sip of water and stood up from the table. He finished up and threw it in the sink. Feeling much more confident now that he had some sort of plan, he headed back to the front room to rejoin Lyra and her friends, and possibly acquire their aid in finding a way home. It was his best hope after all.

However, he knew then as he stood in the doorway, watching the ponies laughing like psychopaths in a now inexplicably dark room, as thunder and lightning struck around them and illuminated their features with brief flashes of white, that something was very off about them.

He took this moment to edge his way back into the kitchen, and sneak out the back door.

***

A group of seven ponies and a dragon made their way through the halls of Canterlot Castle. Normally this group would be cheerful and smiling, but not this time. They shared their silent visage with everypony else in the castle who knew the truth about what was happening. Even Pinkie Pie's antics could not raise the morale of the group, and not from lack of trying either.

They had just watched through a viewing spell as the armies marched off in search of their foe. Knowing that they would need to be ready for battle at any moment, they all headed for the vault where the Elements of Harmony were being stored.

The security had been tightened around vault in recent years to avoid possible theft, though these added security measures also served to slow their journey down. The group found themselves going through several magical screening processes that ranged from detecting mind control, all the way to verifying if you were even a pony at all; although they had made no attempt for the Elements before, they still had to make sure the security was changeling-proof.

Once they got to the main door, Celestia inserted her horn into the magical lock, and unbound the seals that held it in place. The door swung open and there was a blue glow from within as she retrieved the elements and levitated them out in front of their respective owners.

Nopony moved as the five necklaces and the tiara floated in the air patiently. They all knew that the moment they put on their gear, that it would all become real. They looked at the elements themselves as if they were the true threat to Equestria. It was a feeling that had been ingrained into them. Every time the princess asked them to put these on, it meant that something terrible was about to happen, or already had.

Eventually, Rainbow Dash mustered up the courage to reach out for hers and put it on. Somepony had to go first after all.

“Come on girls, we've got ponies to protect. We're the only ones who can stop these things, so mare up until this is over.”

The other five looked attentively at each other, but knew that Rainbow Dash was right. They couldn’t just think of themselves right now. Applejack followed Dash’s lead and the rest all followed after.

“I’m glad you girls are able to find the courage to do this. Just remember, you are not alone. Luna and I will be with you the whole time.”

“Me too, so don’t worry about it so much,” Spike added, piping up for the first time so far.

“No way, Spike!" Twilight replied, authority creeping into her voice, "You are staying at the castle where it's safe."

“What?! No way am I staying here while you go out and endanger yourselves again! I let you go alone too many times already.”

“I’m sorry Spike, but no means no. You are still a baby dragon after all.”

Spike stared at Twilight as if she just smacked him in the face.

“NO I’M NOT,” he roared in anger, “You're only a few years older than me Twilight, so stop with that excuse!”

Everypony in the room gasped at Spike's sudden outburst. Never before had they seen him act like this towards Twilight, and they weren’t sure what to think of it. Unlike his normal slouched position he was in before he was now standing up tall and proud. Now Twilight had to look up just to meet his eyes.

“You can’t keep treating me like a little kid, Twilight. It isn’t fair.”

“But Spike…”

“But nothing. If you want to get technical about it, you should be the one staying behind. I'm a dragon, and we're meant to protect our treasures when they are threatened, not let them get stolen away.”

Twilight was about to protest, but felt a hoof on her shoulder. Looking beside her, she saw her mentor shaking her head. Clearly Celestia was siding with Spike on this issue. Twilight looked as if she were still going to argue but ended up sighing in defeat. Arguing with Spike was one thing, but she didn’t think she had it in her to argue with him and the Princess at the same time.

“Wow, way to stick up for yourself pipsqueak,” Rainbow Dash said, slapping Spike on his back.

“D-do you think Rarity was impressed?” he whispered back, blushing.

All Rainbow Dash could do was roll her eyes. That dragon could live to be a thousand years old, and he would still be trying to impress Rarity. Maybe he could write a book; Spike the Dragon versus the Friend Zone. It had the makings of a Manehattan Best Seller award.

“Well girls, I do believe we need to relax," suggested Rarity, "As important as it is to be ready, we would be in a horrid state if we were all worked up before we actually met the thing.”

“I agree completely," Celestia replied, "How about we all head to my tea room to relax? In any case, it will take some time for my sister and Shining Armor to locate the human. I believe Cadance is here with your niece, Twilight. You girls should get to see them while you can.”

At the mention of the little foal, Twilight brightened up. If there was anypony that could brighten up her day it was her energetic little niece. With their troubles momentarily forgotten, they all set off through the castle in a much happier mood than they had before.

***

Hayato stared at the door he just walked out of, before deciding it was probably not best to go back in the house. Granted, he was putting himself in danger by being outside in the middle of day, but it was worth the risk. Besides, he could find Waldo every time he looked for him, so he knew how to hide. That was qualification enough, right?

Quietly, he moved along the fence line, keeping an eye out for any ponies that might be out grazing, or however the hell they maintained their lawns. Seeing that the coast was clear, he darted down a few streets and into an alleyway. It had been easy goings so far, and he wondered why he didn’t do this sooner. After all, ponies would be at work right now, right?

As it turned out, yes they were. As long as he made sure to be wary of windows when he passed them, he was able to make it quite far into town unhindered. Eventually he saw a school and some colts and fillies playing on the playground. Believing he was in a well hidden spot, he watched the children playing for a moment. He kept thinking of them as fictional beings, but he couldn't deny that there was a kind of genuineness to them. They certainly acted like real people, if people was the right word.

Figuring he was pushing his luck, Hayato decided to head back to the house and finish talking to the others. His curiosity about the area was satisfied for the moment, and he had gotten his fill of fresh air and time away from the weirdoes. As he turned around, he saw a green pony staring at him, her mouth and eyes wide open, frozen in terror.

Yep, this was how his day was gonna go. Maybe there was a chance to calm her down and salvage the situation?

“It’s...”

“Calm down pony, I am not going to hurt you!”

“A...”

“Oh no, please don’t do that!”

“A..."

“Please, I have money!”

“HUMAN!”

“Fuck you too, lady!”

At the mare's scream, many ponies popped their heads out of windows to see what the commotion was about. They saw what it was, and their reactions were just about what you'd expect.

Windows were slamming shut, and not even a twenty seconds after being seen, an alarm sounded throughout the town. By now, Hayato realized it was time to cut his losses and escape, and he quickly ran away from the screaming mare.

He was hoping that since the alarm was going off and warning them of danger, that all of the ponies would stay inside and hide from him. As he rounded a corner, he instead came face to face with a large mob that easily numbered at least fifty ponies. They all were holding onto torches and pitchforks, be it with their bodies or with magic.

Personally, he was more worried about the ones that could do magic than the others. Because it was fucking magic.

“How dare you trespass in this peaceful town you demon! What do you want from us?!” demanded an ashen stallion.

“I bet it is here to eat our foals, to feed its demonic human powers!” screamed a fanatic mare in the back.

Murmurs began to sound through the crowd. For some reason, they all seemed to believe the mare instead of actually thinking about what she was saying.

Oh right, they think I am a god. Okay Hayato, you can do this. Time to get godly.

“Ahem! I am not here to dine on your children, crazed horses! I am here to see if your people deserve the honor of entering the afterlife, and being with the gods! Besides, I am sure your children would taste awful.”

“Did you hear that everypony?! He said he wants to send us to the afterlife because he finds us disgusting!”

I'm an idiot.

“That isn’t what I said at all, you crazy bitch!”

“Come my friends, we must protect our children!" cried the lead stallion, "Down with the evil god! Thermo Stat, fly as quickly to Canterlot as you can, and warn the princesses about the human! Hurry!”

The human watched as a red and white pegasus shot through the sky at an impressive speed. If they were going to alert the princesses to his presence, that pegasus needed to be stopped. However he still had a mob on his hands, and they seemed to be immune to all his charms. He was about to make another attempt at diplomacy when a brick went whizzing at his head.

Luckily, he ducked down just in time to avoid it.

Yep, I think that's my cue to leave.

Hayato bolted down the street away from the insane horses, but it seemed they would not be dissuaded by him simply running away, and chased after him relentlessly. Seconds after he rounded a corner, three more bricks went flying at his body. This time he performed a variety of impressive flips to avoid them all.

“How the hell am I doing this?” he thought to himself, feeling quite dizzy from his body's involuntary movements.

Seeing an opportunity at freedom to his left, he jumped through the window and into someone's house. Standing up, he brushed the glass out of his hair and jacket. He found himself in a bathroom and standing in front of a pink mare who screamed at the sight of him.

“GET OUT OF HERE YOU PERVERT! I’M NAKED!”

He gave her an incredulous look.

“Ponies are always naked!”

“Oh...right. Well, get out anyway.”

“...Sorry about the window.”

He proceeded out of the bathroom rather confused about what just happened. Then he remembered the mob that was chasing him, and decided to lock that away with the rest of the shit he would have process later. Once he got out of here his therapist was going to be a rich man.

Outside, the mob finally got around to the front of the house just as he made it out the front door. He groaned at the sight of them, as he was hoping to have at least some sort of head start. Moving as fast as he could, he ran away again, heading down the street outside in the opposite direction of them.

Wow, I'm actually running faster than the ponies! Thank you college track team.

He eventually left the residential area and entered a more built up area. Since they were a rather large crowd, he decided to try and lose them by running down a series of alleyways in an attempt to slow them down. It worked for a few seconds, until his ignorance of the town's layout landed him in a dead end. Turning around, he saw that the mob had already gathered at the other end.

“Alright everypony, we have it trapped! Send it back to Tartarus!”

A mass of objects arced through the sky towards him, enough of them to temporarily blot out the sun. Again without consent, his body began to jump and dodge everything that came close to hitting him. He didn’t know whether to be amazed or terrified that he had seemed to lose control of himself.

He finally settled on feeling sick at the unfamiliar movements. It was just like riding a rollercoaster, and he hated rollercoasters.

Once the last object missed him, something large floated over the crowd of ponies, being lifted by the magic of several unicorns. It was a giant metal dumpster, and it was being thrown right at him. In a movement that every action hero dreams of, he turned and ran up the side of the building behind him and pushed off at the top, back flipping over the dumpster and crowd at the same time.

This glorious moment of superhuman agility was short lived. A back flip like that turned out to be the straw that broke the camel's back, and when he landed on the other side of the mob, he swayed on his feet for a few seconds before emptying the contents of his stomach all over the ashen stallion that had been shouting at him before.

Wiping his mouth off, he realized he had vomited on one of the ponies.

“Oh, wow...sorry about that...”

The enraged pony stared at him in shock. Knowing he had officially killed what little chance at diplomacy he had left, he ran off down another alleyway to escape, and the chase began anew.

Never coming back to this town again.

***

Thermo Stat rushed through the skies as fast as her wings could carry her. She was grateful for the practice she put in to make it into the weather ponies Tornado Squad. Still, she knew she would have to pace herself as the flight to Canterlot was a long one. Too many Pegasi had been injured by not properly pacing themselves.

After flying for fifteen minutes, she saw something big on the ground. Curiosity got the best of her, and she lowered her altitude to see what was happening on the ground. Her spirits soared as she got in close and realized it was the Equestrian Military. They would surely be able to subdue the monster back in town. Without thinking, she flew towards the group as fast as she could.

***

Sitting in his carriage on the ground, Shining Armor studied a map of the nearby country, with all the major cities marked out. The plan was for him to head to Manehattan first to investigate any signs of the human. Afterwards, they would check the surrounding towns and villages in circular motion to make sure that nothing was overlooked. It would take a while, but it was the most effective way to search without dividing up his forces.

He was already uncomfortable with sending out the pegasus squads to search ahead around them, but it was a necessity. The natural dangers of Equestria could cause them trouble and detract from the mission as well. Just because they had a greater enemy to keep watch for, that didn't mean they could afford to simply ignore the other hazards of the land.

There was a jolt as he felt his carriage stop, and immediately afterwards he heard a distinct knocking pattern that indicated his guards had news. A single black unicorn entered soon after.

“Sir, we have a pegasus here that claims to have seen the human we're looking for.”

Stepping out of the carriage immediately, Shining Armor made his way over to a candy cane colored pegasus who was surrounded by one of the aerial patrol units. The pegasus's eyes went wide as she saw him. Shining was pretty sure she was fighting the urge to kneel being that he was technically royalty, though he often forgot that fact.

“Miss? My guards tell me that you saw the human? Where is it?”

“Y-yes sir. The human is in the town of Hoofington. I just came from there. Right now we have a mob chasing after it, but I am worried for their safety. None of them are warriors.”

“You should not have engaged the human; they are very dangerous,” the captain chided, “Still, it is too late to do anything about that now.”

He turned to his unicorn assistant.

“Spectrum, inform the army that we are changing our destination. We're going to Hoofington, double time. As for the girl, get an escort to take her back to Canterlot where she will be safe.”

Once that was cleared up, he returned to his carriage as they set off again and began to write a letter to Luna, informing her of the situation. Once finished, he concentrated a spell to send the letter to her. With a pop, the letter was gone.

Poking his head out of the carriage some time later, Shining Armor saw the town of Hoofington come into view. It seemed so peaceful and quiet from afar, but within its borders there was a powerful being that could probably destroy the entire town with both arms tied behind its back. Already having a plan of action, he ordered the army to halt before they got too close to the town.

He quickly left the carriage again and began walking his way through the ranks of soldiers who would separate and form a path as he got close to them. Once he stood in front of the army, he magically enhanced his voice to address them all again.

“Everypony, we have arrived at our destination. Within the city of Hoofington is the human we've set off to hunt. As we speak, there is a mob in the town chasing after it. We can only hope that the human has not already dispatched or killed them. We are going to use the delta formation to ensure that it does not sneak out of the town.

"I will be taking the 501st Legion with me to engage to human directly. Unless the human breaches the line, do not break formation. We have to hold it off until Princess Luna arrives, and if necessary, the Elements of Harmony. Move out ponies, we have a town to protect!”

END.

Author's Note

Woohoo, chapter two is here with twice the calories! I know this one took a while to get out, but I hope it was worth the wait. Mostly, I blame politics and global warming for why it took so long. Fun things coming soon in future chapters of Shades of Grey, including love, intrigue, and a terrible plot. Oh wait, it seems I mixed this up with a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey.

As before, just leave comments down below and I will make an attempt to answer them all without spoilers. Take it away DannyJ.

Editor's notes:

I've noticed that views, favourites and comments went up for vanilla Human when Shades debuted. Thanks for that guys. Also, look out for me and Draven's next collab project, in the planning stages right now. It's called The King Machine, and it's going to be awesome.

Chapter 3: "...Shut up, Gary..."

“And he was bound by chains made for a lesser being, in a crater made by many lesser beings. He was quiet, and did not protest his treatment, for everything was part of his grand plan. Truly, a it was a masterful manipulation, for even though it would have done nothing to hold him, he let them think they had won for a while, before he proved them wrong.”

-Prison for a God, from the Brotherhood of Man’s holy book, A Darker World.

***

Hayato leaned against a wall, pressing himself as close as possible in an attempt to hide from his pursuers. Twenty minutes, twenty damn minutes they had been chasing him through the town with no signs of it ending. He found himself pleasantly surprised that he was not running out of steam already. In fact, he felt better than he had in years.

He hadn’t heard the shouts of the crowd for several minutes, so he assumed that he was in the clear; how very wrong he was. As he pushed off the wall, he rounded a corner, and there in the street was the mob, waiting patiently. Apparently, in the time he had been hiding, they had taken a quick breather, and appeared to have doubled in number. He took back his earlier thought; fate hated him.

He went to turn and run, but found himself staring at another mass of ponies. They were getting clever. He quickly came up with a plan to escape again. The plan on the other hand, was crazy. Crazy enough that it might just work...or blow up in his face horribly.

“Ha ha ha, I see you have been lured right into my trap!”

“W-what, we are the ones who have trapped you foul human!”

“Did you now? Because to me it looks like you are all in the perfect position to be attacked! ATTACK NOW, SECOND!”

At the thought that Lord Second might be free among them, heads whipped around in a frenzy trying to locate him before they were wiped out. But no matter where they looked, there wasn’t a human in sight. That included Hayato, who had taken the moment to climb a fire escape and flee onto the rooftops.

I can’t believe that actually worked! It isn’t going to help my reputation at all, but I suppose when you have a mob chasing after you, you’ve pretty much hit rock bottom anyway.

Not having thought his entire plan through, Hayato now found himself being chased by pegasi who had an unobstructed view of him, and a pretty decent aim with bricks. Once again his apparent latent ninja abilities activated, allowing him to dodge and flip over anything they could throw at him. Luckily for everyone involved, he was getting used to all of the jumps and flips and thus would not be puking again.

...Hopefully.

Eventually, Hayato found himself standing on the ledge of a building, looking at the huge gap that stood in the way of the next rooftop. While he was getting confident in these new parkour abilities he seemed to have developed, he wasn’t certain that he could jump a fifteen foot gap just yet.

While he seemed to be on friendly terms with physics right now, he didn’t want to push his luck too much. He was betting that if he tried breaking physics too much, physics would try to break him. However, he had to make a decision soon, as the pegasi were fast approaching his location.

Since his options seemed to be either jumping a gap or facing down a mob, he was not feeling that optimistic about his current state of affairs. In the end the desire to not be eaten by horses won out, and he took a few steps back in preparation.

You can do this, Hayato. If a teenager can beat an army, then you can beat a gap.

Not feeling any better after his self-pep talk, he ran at top speed towards the edge of the building. With a strong push of his legs, Hayato launched himself off like an Olympian. Unfortunately for him, his footing was loose, and the jump was far from perfect.

“Hot damn, I think I am going to make it!” he thought as he sailed through the air.

Reality had different plans, as he smacked into the edge of the building. Hard.

The entire mob stopped and grimaced as the sickening smack echoed through the area. Impressively enough, he managed to put a human-shaped hole in the brickwork, and they could no longer see him. Although, given the way he hit, they figured they had time to catch up to him inside the building.

Hayato meanwhile found himself lying face down in a large bathtub. For a minute, he just laid there, unable to feel anything. Unfortunately he regained the ability to feel, and all he felt was pain. This was easily shaping up to be the worst day of his life. Well, that is if you didn’t count the weekend he spent in Florida.

That fucking clown will haunt me forever.

Remembering that he had a mob outside waiting for him, Hayato pushed himself out of the bathtub. He examined his reflection in a nearby mirror. He had brick dust on him and blood in his hair; he looked like hell.

Still not as bad as Florida.

***

Shining Armor marched boldly into town, flanked by the 501st. Normally the town would be bustling at this time of day, but instead it was eerily quiet. At the very least, he was expecting to hear screaming, or see ponies panicking in the streets, but instead it was a ghost town.

“Sir, I don’t see anypony. You don’t think the human already...?”

“Don’t say it. We have to at least believe that this one shares his predecessors’ restraint with regards to killing. Double-time, ponies! We need to be quick about this.”

With renewed determination, the army made its way through the streets of Hoofington in search of the human. Shining Armor was losing hope for survivors as they found street after street empty, not a sign of life anywhere.

At this point it was getting unsettling. They should have at least seen unconscious ponies lying here or there. They finally found a trail to follow when a scout found an alley littered with debris, and a dumpster sticking out of a wall. While they investigated the scene, pegasus scouts were sent out to find any survivors. It did not take long for one to report back with good news.

“I have located the mob, sir. They are ten blocks north of us and they seem to be surrounding a single building. I see no signs of the human.”

Knowing that they had to stop the mob before they got themselves hurt, Shining Armor ordered all of his soldiers to gallop over there at full speed.

When they arrived, the mob just stared at them before bursting out into cheers. Several of the ponies shouted that the human was inside the building. Shining Armor had to get the situation under control, so he stepped forwards and addressed the crowd.

“Citizens of Hooftington, I need you all to back away from the building and let us handle the situation. This is royal guard business, and I want all civilians out of the area, immediately.”

***

Hayato looked around the apartment for anything that could be remotely useful in his current predicament. The only thing that fit his definition of ‘useful’ that he could find was a bottle of cider, which he proceeded to practically inhale down his gullet. This horrific display was unfortunately witnessed by a young colt who decided to skip school today.

Hayato tried to say something, but only succeeded in burping loud enough rattle the pictures on the walls.

“I give that an eight out of ten.”

“An eight? That is at least a nine on any scale.”

Wait, that isn’t what’s important right now.

“You aren’t afraid to see a human up close?”

“Well I would have had to have been here to see a human, but today is a school day you see. A good student like me would be at school studying hard, and would not have seen any humans...”

“Of course, well then I will show myself out.”

Hayato headed out the colt’s apartment into the rest of the building. It did not take him long to descend the stairs and reach the front door. Having been distracted by yet another strange encounter, he forgot that he was running from a mob, and opened the door without even looking.

He was happy to see that the mob that had been chasing him for what felt like all day was gone. The downside to this was it seemed some sort of military outfit had replaced them. God forbid one good thing happen to him while he was stuck in ponyland. Looking at the military ponies, there had to be hundreds of them, maybe even a thousand.

Knowing that the building wasn’t going to offer him much protection, Hayato stepped out of the door, and closed it behind him. Stepping away from the large militia was a white unicorn that looked very familiar to Hayato.

I think I know that pony. He had a stupid name like Suit of Armor or something.

“Attention human! My name is Captain Shining Armor.”

Yeah, that was it. What would his parents have done if he grew up to be a painter or something?

“We’ve dealt with your kind before, I’ll have you know, and we do not take to your presence lightly.”

Wait a second, yeah, I do know him! Wasn’t this jackass part of that stupid royal wedding thing?

“I am giving you one chance to surrender peacefully, and if you do not, we will use force!”

“Okay then, I surrender,” Hayato said, sticking his arms up in the air.

“What? Seriously?”

“Well yeah, you have an army. The crazy hicks I could run from, an entire army is a whole different story. So yeah, you got me.”

Shining Armor was dumbfounded.

“Hey, no tricks now! I know you humans!”

“No tricks. I give up. Please don’t kill me.”

Shining’s eyes darted side to side nervously.

“Uh could you give us a moment please? Lieutenants, gather around me.”

“Take your time, I’m not going anywhere.”

The captain and his immediate underlings all pulled into a huddle with their back turned to Hayato as the rest of the army kept their weapons trained on the human, and he just stood still with his arms in the air, looking around him and seeming confused.

“I am going to be honest guys, I was not expecting this,“ Shining confessed, “I figured we would be fighting right now until backup arrived to seal him away like with Second. Now we’ve got a new problem though: How do we restrain something that powerful?”

“Honestly sir, I have no idea. Perhaps we could just ask him to come without restraints?”

“That’s a stupid idea, and it’s going on your record.”

“Well what else can we do? Cuffs are too weak to hold them, and magic doesn’t affect them anyway. What have we got that can even touch them other than the elements?”

“This is such a stupid idea,” Shining Armor sighed, “If it doesn’t work, you are stuck on latrine duty for a year.”

“Is it too late to retract my idea, sir?”

“Yes.”

Breaking the huddle, Shining Armor turned back to the human who was still standing there, holding his arms in the air.

“Ahem, since you are being so cooperative, I am willing to treat you fairly. If you agree to come along without a fight, I will not restrain you with cuffs or magic. Deal?”

“Sure, that sounds good to me. I’m not fond of cuffs anyway.”

“BOO-YA!” exclaimed the lieutenant.

“...Shut up, Gary...”

He’s clearly not bitter at all.

“Sooo...take me to your leader?”

It took all Shining Armor had to not smack his head on something hard. He needed to keep an air of calm, so instead he ordered his ponies to surround the human and move out. They would meet up with the soldiers that were surrounding the town, and head towards Equestria’s best kept secret. Normally a prisoner would be taken straight to Canterlot for processing and then imprisonment. This was no ordinary prisoner though. This time, they were taking a detour.

They were going to Nameless.

***

Five ponies watched in horror as their idol was surrounded by Equestria’s finest and marched out of town. Thankfully, all the other ponies of Hoofington were too busy celebrating their so called success to notice that some of them were less than happy about it.

“This is bad everypony!” said Lyra, “That was the 501st Legion! The most elite soldiers of Equestria’s royal guard!”

“Even if they are the best, there is no way they could have beaten Lord Third, especially without a fight.”

“I hate to break it to you Fleetfoot, but it looked to me like Lord Third surrendered to them,” Abstract Theory pointed out.

“Well, perhaps it was to avoid a fight? When he was being chased by the mob he didn’t once try to attack them; perhaps he felt it was the best way to avoid triggering another war?”

“We can’t trust them, you guys!” cried Bon Bon, on the edge of hysterics, “Ponies were the cause of the last war! What if they provoke him, and start it again? We have to go after him!”

There was a reason Bon Bon’s treats were so good. That reason being that the baker was just as sweet as the products she made. Whenever somepony or something she cared about was in trouble, she had a tendency to get very emotional about it.

“Yes my dear, that is a wonderful idea,“ Fancy Pants agreed, “Say, why don’t you come with me to acquire a carriage for us to ride in, hmm?”

Although he was quite capable of doing the job himself, Fancy Pants needed to get her away from the denizens of the town, before they started asking why somepony was crying on such a momentous occasion. The last thing they needed was for the Brotherhood to be discovered at this juncture. If that were to happen, then all of their reputations would be irreparably destroyed.

Not all ponies were as open minded about humans as they were.

“Following them is all well and good, but we need to figure out a way to get to him and make sure everything is okay,” said Abstract.

“I bet I could get into wherever they’re holding him. Wonderbolts are given free access to a lot of restricted areas, since we also act as a military unit.”

“I as well could most likely gain admission,” Abstract Theory added, “I can simply message Princess Celestia about offering my services once more in dealing with the human. She would not be surprised to learn that I have already discovered his existence.”

Lyra rubbed her hooves against her temples in frustration. At this moment she was feeling very useless to the cause of rescuing the Third. Granted, she loved her job, but playing music was not going to help her get close to him. She was glad they had two ponies in a better position to help, but the feeling of her own irrelevance to her savior caused a kind of emotional pain that was new to her.

“Okay, well-”

“Hey, aren’t you Fleetfoot of the Wonderbolts?”

The group froze up as a colt seemingly appeared out of nowhere. They had been so busy with trying to figure out how to free the Third, they didn’t notice somepony just walking up to them until it was too late. Good thing for them, flying wasn’t the only thing Fleetfoot was fast at, and she turned to face the yellow colt with a smile.

“Yep, that’s me.”

“This is so cool, I didn’t think I would ever run into you here! I’m one of your biggest fans! Now that I think of it...why are you here?”

“Oh, I was just passing by when I heard about the human that was in town, so I thought I would swing by and make sure everything was safe.”

“You’re the best, you know that?! Could I...um....get your autograph?”

While the colt looked around for something to sign, Fleetfoot pulled out her spare pen, used especially for autographs. Every Wonderbolt carried an emergency autograph pen wherever they went. Finally the colt found something for her to sign and was sent on his way, much to the relief of all present ponies.

“L-lord Third was right, heart attacks first thing in the morning are terrible indeed,” muttered Lyra.

The others just looked at her in confusion, wondering what the heck she was talking about.

“It’s a long story, don’t ask. Lets just get to Fancy Pants’ carriage and get moving, before they get too far ahead of us.”

As they all scrambled into the carriage, Lyra couldn’t help but feel like she was forgetting something...

***

Twilight panted heavily as she leaned against the wall. Looking around, she couldn’t find any sign of who she was hunting. Her target was too swift, and far too clever. Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy had already been defeated, and the others were nowhere in sight for back up. She knew that it would take careful planning and a liberal use of magic to trap her foe.

Carefully, she crept forward, not wanting to possibly give away her location. It was then she saw it. Her prey had stopped and was taking a break just ahead. Twilight lowered her body and snuck forward like a jungle cat after its meal. As she drew in close she pounced on her, only to find it was a doll. Off to the side she heard a rustling, and two eyes staring at her from the darkness.

“Clever girl...”

Twilight felt another, much smaller body slam into her own and knock her aside. Her attacker and she rolled around on the ground, giggling all the way. Light blue wings fluttered as the victor sat upon Twilights belly.

“Yay, I got you Twilight!”

“Heh heh, you sure did, 'Tune,” Twilight said, rubbing the little filly’s head.

Rounding the corner, two larger alicorns approached the pair who were playing on the floor. They took one look at them and began to laugh.

“I haven’t seen you play like that since you were a filly, Twilight,” said the pink alicorn.

“You should have her during her studies,” the other replied, “She would hop around like a happy little bunny whenever she would learn something.”

“Oh, did she say ‘yes’ a bunch of times while she did it?”

Twilight could feel her face glowing red as Princess Celestia and Princess Cadance talked about their fond memories of her foalhood, much to her embarrassment. When she was young, she was definitely a ‘silly filly’.

“Is it time for tea already?” she asked, trying to change the subject.

“Yes it is, Twilight. Come on, the others are waiting.”

Twilight stood up to follow the princesses, only to find a small blue alicorn filly riding on her back. Cadance also noticed and laughed at her antics. After that, they all went off to the tea room, and Twilight’s friends greeted them as they entered. It seemed they were all doing better than they were earlier.

All of the them sat around a table, and began to drink their tea. Even Pinkie Pie couldn’t help but calm down in this atmosphere. The room was quiet save for the filly's failed attempts at adding her own sugar. Celestia was about to speak, but was cut off by a glowing blue light that suddenly appeared in the room. It pulsated in the air before slowly falling to the table. When the glowing stopped, everyone in attendance could see a rolled up scroll with a blue seal on it.

Cadance, and Twilight immediately recognized it as Shining Armor seal and lashed out their magic aura to pull the letter to themselves. The letter floated in the air, covered in a mixture of purple and pink aura. Celestia took a sip of her tea before clearing her throat quietly.

“Might I have my letter please?” she said evenly, not a trace of emotion in her voice.

You could practically see the sweat pouring off the two mares as they carefully lowered the scroll back to the table. While they were eager to see the contents of the letter, the tone of Celestia’s voice scared them. It was the voice she used to handle bossy foreign diplomats. It was a voice that was very polite, but let you know who was in charge.

Calmly, Celestia levitated the letter in front of her and unfurled it, breaking the seal. She read the contents of the letter and almost choked on her tea in shock. This reaction was not lost upon the members at the table, and all eyes were on her.

“Auntie, what’s wrong? Is Shining Armor okay?”

“...The human surrendered immediately.”

Everypony present all had some variant on the same “what?!” expression, showing varying degrees of disbelief.

“...Beg yer pardon?” said Applejack.

“Shining Armor says that they confronted the human and surrounded it from all sides, and it gave up instantly. Now they’re stuck with the problem of containing it, because no conventional prison can hold their kind. They’re taking it to Nameless for the moment.”

“Nameless?” Twilight repeated, “As in...”

“Yes, the site of your most recent battle. If you’ll recall, the chains that bound the Nameless One still rest there. I believe Shining Armor intends to use those to hold it.”

Celestia rolled up the parchment and floated it over to Twilight so that she could read it for herself. The princess sighed.

“Those chains will not move for him. He will need assistance from their crafter. I need to write another letter...”

While Twilight poured over the contents of the letter herself, Celestia conjured up supplies, and began to write the letter.

“S-so if the human is already caught, then...does that mean we don’t have to fight it?”

“Psh, I doubt that Fluttershy. Look at the other two humans; neither of them just gave up. I bet this is all some kind of trap. I say we go kick some human tail.”

“Ah don’t know ‘bout that Rainbow. Ah’m not a fan of humans either, but let’s not go puttin’ the cart before the pony. It might just not wanna fight.”

“A human that doesn’t want to fight? What’s next, a cockatrice that turns ponies into trees?”

“That sounds nice…”

“Now now, Rainbow Dash,” the princess interrupted, “While the presence of a human bothers me, if there is a chance for it, we should always try for a peaceful solution. We’ve never met a peaceful human before, that is true. But we’ve only ever met two of them. Maybe Second and First were just bad apples?”

“I guess you’re right Princess, but I still don’t have to like it. Do I?”

Celestia just smiled at Rainbow Dash warmly. She enjoyed that Rainbow Dash was comfortable enough around her to speak her mind. It was a rare for a pony of her standing, and she didn’t meet ponies like that nearly as often as she would have liked.

“Well, this is something that we can’t ignore,” said Twilight, “Even if the human did give up, we still need to find out why it is here.”

“You are correct, Twilight. We’re all going to have to make our way to Nameless. I will understand if you wish to stay here, Cadance.”

“No, I’ll go with you. Neptune will be fine with the foalsitter for a while.”

With the plans decided, everyone quickly finished their tea and made their way outside, to take the first chariot to Nameless.

***

It was boiling hot.

During their journey to...wherever it was they planned on holding him, they had had to pass through into this desert. It was an odd desert too, perfectly befitting the surrealness of his situation. At the border, you could see the landscape suddenly change. On one side, it was full of lush, green vegetation, and then as if there were some unseen barrier, all the life suddenly stopped, and everything on the other side of that line was sand and rocks.

This place worried him; it felt like they were leading him to hell. Looking around, Hayato could see the soldiers that were with him seemed to also be uncomfortable in this place.

Several times during the trip he requested something to drink, and to his surprise, Shining Armor made sure he got it. Despite the fact that he was being held captive by a military force, this wasn’t too bad.

After another four hours of forced marching, they eventually appeared at the edge of a massive crater. Not too far from the crater was a very official looking building, where he assumed he was going to be held. The crater itself was large enough to hold maybe three or four buildings of the same size. He wondered what had made it.

It was then that he noticed something else that was very odd; around the edge of the crater were a number of giant black chains, that looked like they had been sitting there for a while. They looked like they should have been used to haul ship anchors.

Shining Armor and the soldiers he met in town then began to lead him down into the center of the impact site.

Wait...Are they going to use the...No way! They can’t be serious.

In the centre, there were two more ponies waiting for them, both looking rather cheery compared to the royal guards, who were all exclusively either stoic or apprehensive around him. They were a brown earth pony stallion in a green tie and saddlebags, and a grey pegasus mare with a blonde mane, and...the eyes...

Wait a second. It was her.

He remembered her. Oh, did he ever remember her. She was the one that caused the crazy ass fans to flip their shit years ago. They had launched a crusade against everyone at Hasbro when her name was changed in the show. Hayato recalled being made to sort through the droves of angry letters that were sent to them. Which really confused him; what the hell was the marketing department supposed to have done about it?

God, I hated my year of internship.

He eyed the two of them closely. That mare’s presence here was a bad omen, he was sure of it. Shining Armor and the other stallion were now sharing a conversation, and he was removing a number of black, ‘C’ shaped devices from the saddlebags and handing them over to the captain. The captain picked them up with his magic and began distributing them to the ponies closest to him, who immediately galloped away back up to the edge of the crater.

The brown earth pony whispered something to his companion, eliciting a giggle from her. She soon flew off, and he followed after. The soldiers began to scatter about the crater, all moving to different positions, while Shining Armor turned his attention to Hayato.

“I must request that you remain still for this next part,” he said politely.

“For what?”

A number of the soldiers began to move back down into the crater again, using their new toys to pull along the giant chains behind him, much like unicorn magic, only not all of them were unicorns. Did that make those things artificial horns? But then why did the unicorns with real horns need them?

Then he suddenly realised why they were bringing the chains down.

“Oh, HELL no! You’re not seriously going to use THOSE to keep me, are you?!”

Shining Armor shrugged.

“We’ve got nothing stronger, so they’ll have to do for now. If they were good enough to hold the great destroyer, they’re good enough for you too.”

Not for the first time today, was he wondering how he got into this mess. If he managed to get out of this, he was never drinking again.

…Probably.

It did not take long for the chaining up to begin. The two ponies closest to him were discussing the best way to chain up someone of his build with another guard who seemed to be their supervisor or something. Apparently the last time these things were used, the target was much bigger.

They started by wrapping a chain around his torso and binding it to a series of blocks embedded in the ground. This was followed by wrapping another seven slightly smaller chains around his arms and forcing him to his knees, binding those to a set of blocks too. Below his knees, his legs were bound together. The worst of it was a collar that was placed around his neck with seven chains attached that were bound to the edge of the crater.

“Can I just say that this all seems very unnecessary?”

No-one seemed to listen to him though.

When the process was done, he was wrapped in a cocoon of metal so thick it could have survived a direct nuclear strike. Most of all, he was just really uncomfortable. And hot. Yeah, he was still in the desert, and it still sucked.

All of the soldiers left the crater one by one, save for a few unicorns that began casting strengthening spells on the chains and various other enhancements, with particular focus on the blocks attaching the chains to the ground, as if they were afraid he was going to tear them up with his Herculean strength.

How paranoid were these ponies? Second and First must have been real scary bastards if they made them believe humans warranted this kind of treatment.

Above him, several magical sigils appeared in the air briefly, and a triple layer dome barrier of purple energy appeared around the crater. He could just about see the thousands of soldiers forming a ring around the crater and staring inside at him, and the glare of the sun directly above him, but the barrier was too thick for him to make out anything else.

“Human.”

Hayato looked around him to find where Shining Armor’s voice was coming from. It echoed around the inside of the crater prison so he could hear it quite clearly, but the stallion himself appeared to no longer be in here with him. Most likely some kind of magic. Whatever.

“Those chains you wear are dwarf star alloy. Specially constructed for holding one of the most powerful monsters that ever menaced Equestria. It takes a number of magical enchantments and special equipment for our soldiers to even move those, and they’re practically unbreakable. Coupled with the vast array of magical defenses and several thousand prison guards keeping you under watch, and you will realize you have no escape. Stay cooperative, and you will not be harmed.”

“I still think you’re massively overreacting by the way!” Hayato called back.

On the other side of the barrier at the top of the crater, Shining Armor eyed him suspiciously. In truth, he knew he probably wouldn’t be able to touch the human, let alone hurt him should he actually try anything. He found himself unsure of what to do now. This entire event had not went the way he was expecting it to, like the universe was setting him up for some grand prank that he wasn’t fully seeing.

Turning around, he walked away back towards the administration building so he could send a letter to Princess Luna as soon as possible; she was not going to believe how smoothly this went.

And meanwhile, Hayato was stuck alone in the crater, chained up so much he could barely breathe. Though, it was at least cooler now. Silence fell, and he was left to his thoughts.

...Dwarf star alloy? Isn’t that...?

***

Fleetfoot soared above clouds as she followed the trail that had been left in the soldiers’ wake. While the Equestrian military was large and powerful, they were not exactly subtle when they were marching en masse. Trampled plant life, flattened under thousands of hooves, led the way to the soldiers’ destination.

The soldiers were already way ahead of her, as until half an hour ago she was being slowed down by her friends. As it turned out, the stallions they hired to pull the carriage were more than a little nervous about following the military, especially once they learned what they were escorting. So now while her friends were going back and getting a balloon to travel in, she was flying ahead to see where they were going.

Looking around, she didn’t recognize the area the trail had led her to. As a Wonderbolt, she had visited pretty much every military base in the country on one tour or another. It was odd though, they were heading to the middle of nowhere. It was just empty desert...

Where could they possibly be going? There isn’t anything here for miles…Unless they aren’t actually planning on keeping him anywhere...oh no.

In her mind, all of the pieces were falling into place. There was no prison in Equestria that could actually hold a being like Lord Third, so the only other option would be to destroy him somehow. If they were going to fight, they might as well choose a spot as far away from any civilians as possible. It was a pretty smart tactic on their part.

With this realization, Fleetfoot abandoned her casual pace and flew at top speed. She had to somehow prevent that from happening. They didn’t know how kind and merciful Third was to ponies, especially when they didn’t deserve it.

Racing through the skies, Fleetfoot didn’t stop for anything. Other aerial creatures had to actively move out of her way or run the risk of being knocked out of the sky. She was moving so fast she unintentionally left a trail of smoke in her wake, the signature move of the Wonderbolts.

As she drew close to the site of the hidden military base, a contingency of pegasi intercepted her in the air.

“Who are you and what are you doing here?” demanded bronze mare with a grey mane, “This is restricted airspace.”

“I’m Echo Fleetfoot. I’m with the Wonderbolts. Don’t pretend you don’t know me.”

The mare turned to her the other pegasus to confirm that it was actually her. After a few minutes she turned back to her.

“Terribly sorry ma’am, I didn’t recognize you without your uniform. I assume you know the situation?”

“I was near Hoofington when the military got involved, but I did not arrive until the soldiers had already left. I followed to lend my assistance, and see the human for myself.”

“You’ll need to speak with Captain Shining Armor about that. Allow us to escort you to the base.”

A short while later the three of them approached a large crater in the desert, covered by a large purple dome shield. Before she could see Third though, Fleetfoot was expected to see the captain, who was stationed in a smaller building on the edge of the crater itself.

The building accounted for pegasi, and there was a balcony entrance for messengers that needed to quickly see officers on the higher floors. Fleetfoot touched down on the balcony and entered through a pair of double doors.

Once inside she immediately felt much cooler, thanks to the air conditioners, which were on full blast. It was a stark and welcome contrast to the unbearable heat of the barren desert outside. While she would have loved to not have to go back out in the heat, she was a mare on a mission. Wasting no time, she made a beeline to Shining Armor’s office.

The door was already open, and the captain was inside scribbling something on some forms. Shining Armor looked up at her from his papers. Rather than go through the same questions again, Fleetfoot quickly gave him the same story she gave to scouts.

“Well, I am glad that you’re here to help. We’re currently waiting on Princesses Luna and Celestia to arrive. Until then, we’re holding the human here as best we can and hoping he stays passive.”

“Where exactly is ‘here’?” Fleetfoot asked, “I’ve never seen this place before.”

“Oh, that’s right; your team were out of action before you saw the ending of the fighting, weren’t you? Well, allow me to fill you in then. This right here is Nameless. That’s the crater, not this building. This was where we finally beat the Nameless One. We chained him down and the Elements of Harmony sealed him right where that crater is now. Stuck him back in the mirror world, where he belongs.”

“How did you manage to actually chain it down? That thing was a flying mass of destruction.”

“We were able to successfully corral it away from the city, and headed deep into the jungle. That was where we surrounded it. The entire Equestrian military, assaulting it from every direction and keeping it distracted, bought just enough time for Princess Luna, who then dropped a comet on it. A big one.”

Fleetfoot did a double take.

“She what?!”

“I probably wouldn’t have believed it either, if I hadn’t seen it myself. Though I am surprised this is the first you’ve heard of this. It was pretty major news six months ago.”

“I...”

A look of disbelief was written across Fleetfoot’s face. Yes, she knew how powerful the princesses were, but that was just surprising to hear. Who drops a comet on somepony? Who actually does that?

“A comet?! The princess can just drop a comet out of the sky at anytime?!”

“Yes and no. According to her it would take a great deal of time and power for her to pull one to the planet. It’d be an extremely exhausting affair. We were lucky in that it was the centennial of the Shadowmare comet’s passing. A lot of scholars were sad to see it go. Also there are unfortunate side effects to just dropping a celestial object on something. You’ve already seen them.”

“What side effects? I didn’t notice anything.”

“Like I said, we led the Nameless One to a jungle. Notice how we are currently in a desert?”

The realization elicited a gasp from Fleetfoot. Shining Armor just shrugged.

“Apparently there were latent magics in that hunk of rock, that reacted with the blood of the Nameless One and caused all the vegetation for miles to die off. Arcane scientists spent a while purging the magical toxins from the land. They still hope to one day fully reverse the damage that was done, but we’re probably not going to see it in our lifetimes.”

Fleetfoot was floored.

“Is this really the first time anypony’s told you this? Coma or not, I’d have thought somepony would have informed you of what happened while you were out.”

“I...I was out for longer than most of the ‘bolts. It was two months for me. I was hit pretty hard at Fillydelphia and took longer to recover. Even after I woke up I was kept in there for a bit. I heard that the Nameless One was stopped, and that some jungle area was destroyed, but...Nopony told me anything about a comet! Or that it poisoned the whole jungle and made it a desert! I thought I didn’t recognise this place coming here, but I didn’t think for a second that this could have been it!”

Shining Armor gave her a sympathetic smile.

“Hard to take in, I know. Now about this human?”

Fleetfoot stood to attention and got serious again.

“Yes?”

“Well, we restrained the Third in the center of the crater itself. He’s being held using dwarf star alloy chains, the same kind we used against him, not to mention a variety of defensive spells, including my own shield which you may have noticed, and we’ve got soldiers all around the rim keeping constant watch. Right now, this place is more secure than Canterlot Castle.

“If you want to see him yourself or speak to him for whatever reason, we’ll lower a section of the shield around the edges and you can head inside, but we’ll have to also send in additional security, for your own protection of course, and even with all the precautions we’ve taken, there’s no guarantee of safety, I hope you understand?”

She nodded.

“Really, it’s going to be awkward for all involved, but the princesses will arrive soon, most likely along with my sister and her friends, including your comrade Rainbow Dash probably. They’ll all want to speak to the human too. You’d probably be better off waiting until they arrive and going in with them.”

Fleetfoot had mixed feelings about this. It was clear that they were not intending to just blindly attack Lord Third, or try to execute him just yet, so that was one good thing. But the amount of security placed on him was intense, and would make mounting a rescue operation or even just passing information to him at best difficult, and at worst downright impossible.

“Well be that as it may, captain, I think I’d rather see him as soon as possible, if that’s not a problem?”

“As long as you do not aggravate him, then no; you should be fine. So far he has been strangely nonviolent. Perhaps you might be able to gather some information from him. Just go to the guards at the perimeter whenever you’re ready and tell them that I gave you the all clear. They’ll open the shield for you.”

With a quick ‘thank you’, Fleetfoot left the building. Now that she knew what was going on, she had to meet up with the others. They were quickly running out of time.

***

Luna watched from her tent as her troops marched through the streets of Las Pegasus. The city of lights was now the subject of an intense search, hoping to find the human. She had decided to make this the first stop on their hunt because of the nature of Second and First, both of them being carefree and playful creatures by nature, and annoyingly so.

In a lot of ways the two of them reminded her of Discord. Although their methods were vastly different, they all seemed to cause trouble for the simple desire to have fun. Luna couldn’t help but think of how the Second sunk Celestia's yacht. How he had managed to pull that off with only a sponge she would never know.

If he was anything like the last two, it would only be natural for the human to come to Las Pegasus. The city was so full of entertainment and games and pretty lights that would capture their attention. Granted, Second hadn’t spent any significant amount of time here, but that was towards the end of his grief-fueled rampage, so she supposed those were unusual circumstances.

It would a logical location stop for the human though. Although she had to admit that she herself felt close to the city. How could she not enjoy a city that was more active at night than the day? It was like ponies had made a city just to honor her. It was touching.

Unfortunately, they had been here for an hour already and the search was turning up nothing. If the human was here, it was hiding very well.

Looking about, there was nothing she could really do. The pegasi air patrols had the sky covered and the unicorns and earth ponies were beating the streets and using a very effective method of scanning and searching the city. If she were to join in, she feared that she would just complicate things.

While there were no signs of humans, they made a substantial amount of drug related arrests, which was good of course, but just not what they were hoping for. She was doing her best to keep herself entertained with a book while they all repeatedly failed, but it wasn’t working for her.

She was beginning to feel the itch.

Looking up from her book, Luna's eyes raced about. Her tent was set up in the middle of the Las Pegasus strip, so that it would be easy for her officers to locate her in the event they made a discovery.

When she found that she was staring at one building in particular, which the tent opening was directly facing, she shoved her head back into the book. Failing to read a single paragraph over the course of ten minutes, she peeked back out over the top of it and continued to stare.

It wouldn’t hurt to go in right? Just for a little bit...

After making sure the coast was clear, Luna quickly darted across the street and through the doors of the Rising Moon Casino. Immediately, her senses were assaulted with just pure life. All around her were ponies playing cards and sitting at slot machines. There was a buzz in the air you just couldn’t find anywhere else in Equestria.

Standing there, Luna soaked in the atmosphere. She could stand there for hours and not move a muscle. The feeling was addictive. However, she knew that if she stayed near the door there was a better chance for her to be spotted by her guards, and that would be bad.

Casting a spell that let her move about unnoticed, Luna quickly made her way past most of the regular gamblers and bolted for the VIP section. Due to her occasional visits to the casino, she had been warranted access. So what if her occasional visits tallied up to roughly four times a week? That was just a statistic. Yeah.

Dropping the spell when she reached the barrier, Luna waved to the bouncer of the area. He greeted her just like he would any other guest; he knew better than to treat her like royalty when she was here to relax. It was truly remarkable that the scar was still visible after all this time.

After being let through the barrier, Luna felt even more at ease. Everypony in here were the same faces she had seen many times before. At this point it felt like a secret club, that got together every so often to lose their money. In fact, Vinyl Scratch seemed to have done just that when Luna walked in.

“It seems that thou hast lost thy funds,” Luna said smugly, using the archaisms intentionally in this instance.

Vinyl’s ears twitched and she let out a loud sigh. Her luck was just not with her today.

“Come on, don’t make me do it, please...” she begged.

“A bet is a bet, dear Vinyl.”

“Oh, fine then,” she said irritably, “Ahem. We are so happy to see thou, mistress of the night. How doth you do?”

While Luna made a valiant attempt to not laugh as Vinyl struggled with using the royal ‘we’. She ultimately dissolved into a fit of giggles. All Vinyl did was roll her eyes and vowed once again to never ever have a drinking contest with a monster like Luna. Her liver ached just thinking about that much alcohol.

“So what brings you here anyways? I thought your sister forbade you from coming here again?”

“My sister does not order what I do, she merely suggested that I not spend much time here...strongly.”

“Clearly we must be talking about two different ponies, because I remember a lot of yelling and you making weak excuses.”

Luna thought back to the ugly event that happened roughly six months ago, in which Celestia grew tired of her so called ‘gambling problem’.

“HOW MUCH DID YOU SAY!?” Celestia yelled, abandoning all presence of serenity.

“Calm, sister! ‘Tis not that much...” Luna said defensively.

“HOW IS TWENTY MILLION BITS ‘not that much’? Please, I would love to know!”

“Thou dost not understand, sister! ‘Tis all part of the plan. We put out a little money as bait, and then eventually we reel in a big fish. ‘Tis foolproof!”

“Wrong, it was made by a fool, there is a difference. Twenty million bits Luna, Twenty. Million. Bits.”

“We shall admit the plan might have become a tad more...complex, but we have it under control. Next round, the fish is ours!” Luna exclaimed excitedly.

“STOP USING FISH METAPHORS! I am going to make it very clear, you are to never set foot inside any casino again, understand?” Celestia ordered.

“Thou can’t simply....” Luna began.

“I will not only ban your access to the treasury, but I will share your foalhood drawings with the rest of Equestria if you step a hoof in one again. And as a creation of one of the royal sisters, you can be sure copies would be in every art gallery in the country in days!”

“Thou wouldn’t!”

“Oh yes, we would!” Celestia said with deadly seriousness.

She shook her head.

“I mean I! Great, now you’ve got me doing it!”

Luna shook her head, deciding it was not best to dwell on such unpleasantries from the past, even if it was only months ago. Once her sister saw the money she was going to rake in today, she would not only forgive her, but apologize for before. There was no way this could go wrong. After all, it was foolproof.

She made her way to the teller who switched out a good portion of bits for casino chips. She could see that the teller was reluctant to do so, but you didn’t tell your princess how to spend her own money. It didn’t take her long to find her favorite table and sit down.

Surrounded by her fellow players and the dealer pulling out a fresh deck of cards, Luna was raring to go. Her game? Blackjack. Her odds? Fantastic. The chips were hot and her blood was pumping. Then just above her head, a glowing light appeared.

Why now? Is this some kind of sick joke?

Luna knew exactly what the light was. She was being sent a message from Shining Armor. Her constant communications with him over the years made her familiar with his transport spell. A letter dropped out of the air and rolled to her.

For a moment she contemplated ignoring it, just for a few rounds, but her sense of duty won out in the end and she stepped away from the table. Once away from any prying eyes, Luna unfurled the letter and began to read.

The contents of the letter surprised her. No matter how many times she read over it, it simply didn’t make sense. Her transition from shock to acceptance, while not a graceful as her sister’s, was much quicker.

How is this possible? Why would the human just give itself up like that, and what was it doing in a town like Hoofington? I do not like the feel of this. Creatures of that strength don’t just let themselves get imprisoned. I should know...

No! That was not me. Not thinking about it.

Although that didn’t stop her from still thinking about it sometimes. It was a pretty major event in her life, after all. One could move on, but it seemed you were never truly free of your past.

I’m getting needlessly melancholy again. I’ve got business to attend to!

Now was no time to be gambling, or dwelling on other unrelated trivialities. She shoved the stack of chips over to Vinyl with her magic and said goodbye. There was no time for the teller to retrieve all the money either. She had to leave right away.

Not even wasting time with walking through the throngs of ponies downstairs, Luna simply teleported to her tent with the letter. She magically amplified her voice to be heard throughout the city, and began calling back all the troops to meet her outside of town.

The soldiers were momentarily confused, but they dutifully obeyed. She watched as her higher officers led the way out of town, where she met them to go over the details of what she had been told. They too had the same reaction. To them, humans could only be stopped two ways, and surrender wasn’t either of them. A buzz of curiosity could be heard, as the soldiers murmured to each other.

Fifteen minutes later, they were moving out of Las Pegasus and heading towards Nameless. She just hoped everything continued to go as smoothly as Shining Armor was claiming it was.

If things went sour, she wouldn’t have a comet to use this time...

***

Fleetfoot landed on a particularly large set of dark clouds. They were specifically chosen to designate where they would be meeting up, once she confirmed Lord Third’s status. In the distance she could see a dark green balloon approaching.

Rolling around on the clouds a bit she groaned. Hot air balloon travel was painfully slow and she was contemplating just flying up to meet them. But on the other hoof, she had been doing some serious endurance flying today, and the cloud was pretty soft. It would probably take them awhile to reach her, so shutting her eyes for a minute wouldn’t hurt...

“Seriously? She’s asleep? That is one lazy mare,” a voice said.

“Oh don’t be so gruff, Abstract. She has done a lot of flying today; she’s probably tired.”

“Well, it’s time for her to wake up.”

A moment later, her eyes and wings snapped open as she was suddenly falling through the sky. Thank Celestia for pegasus instincts. She was roughly seventy feet in the air by the time she was finally righted and flying properly.

She flew a few circles to clear the cobwebs and flew back up to the cloud, which now had a gaudy green balloon beside it. She soon joined her friends again, who had vacated the balloon and were actually standing on the cloud itself. Abstract Theory had likely cast a cloud walking spell on them all. It was a pretty amazing, and a little bit scary, how good he was with complex magic.

“You know, you can just tell me that you love me outright, instead of dropping me off clouds all the time.”

“Yes, that is exactly what I was going for with that,” he replied with a stoic face and heavy sarcasm, “Thank Celestia you are so perceptive.”

“Lovely to see you awake dear,” Fancy Pants interrupted, “but we would really like to hear the condition of Lord Third.”

“I...but...oh, whatever! Well, they took him to this place, Nameless-”

“NAMELESS!? Are you bucking kidding me?!” Lyra exclaimed.

“If you guys are going to keep interrupting I am not going to tell you,” she told them flatly.

“Sorry...”

After that, she explained in full what had befallen the human, including the excessive security measures taken to hold him. They all looked downtrodden as they learned of the true scale of their predicament. The situation was pretty bleak, and they weren’t sure what they could do. The amount of defenses that Fleetfoot described were monumental, all of it had never been done before to a single being.

“Hey guys, why the long faces?” said Lyra, “All’s not lost!”

The others looked to her.

“Well, think about it. While Lord Third is currently being held captive, he is there by choice. I am sure he is just placating them, and being kind. Not to mention, we are all ponies of importance. We can use our positions to assure that Lord Third is treated fairly, from the shadows of course.”

“You have a very good point, Lyra,” Abstract Theory agreed, “As I suggested before, I can offer my services to Celestia once again. I believe she would readily accept somepony with my magical prowess. That would get me her ear at least. It would also allow me to learn their intents.”

“Well, if they plan on holding him for an extended period of time, that situation won’t work out. I could offer to assist in construction a supermax prison for him through my contacts and donations. But the design will end up making it very comfortable location for the Lord while we fix things.”

“Um, I could use convince some of my contacts at Canterlot Palace to provide good food for him?” Bon Bon offered, “I could say it is in the interest of keeping him happy and nonviolent? I hate to use their fear against them, but it could help.”

“Good thinking!” said Lyra, “And I’m good friends with Twilight Sparkle and a few of the other bearers of Harmony. I still meet her every month for lunch! I might be able to talk her into helping out to some degree. Fancy Pants is familiar with Rarity too, I think.”

“Well what should I do then?” asked Fleetfoot.

“You have the most important job of us all right now. We need you to do your best flying and get back to Lord Third before anypony else arrives. Gain access to him, and ask that he not reveal the Brotherhood in any way. That he should lie to them if necessary. Last thing we need is to get outed before we can help him.”

“I can do that, but I will have guards with me ‘for my protection’. I’ll have to be extra careful about how I do this...But at least I get to make use of those acting classes I took!”

“Dear Luna, no!” exclaimed Abstract in pure horror.

“Oh come on, it wasn’t that bad,” huffed Fleetfoot.

By this point the others were all lost. They looked at Abstract expectantly. He groaned, not really wanting to relay his story.

“Lets start this off by saying I lost a bet to her,” he explained, “My punishment was watching her act in the Rocky Horror Pony Show. All forty seven times...”

“That doesn’t sound so bad.”

“You weren’t there Lyra, you wouldn’t understand. Athletes, just like singers, are usually terrible actors. This is doubly so for her.”

Before the others could find out more, Fleetfoot took that moment to head off on her mission. Time was of the essence after all. That and there were just some things her friends didn’t need to know about her, though they would likely get at least some it out of Abstract anyway.

“Now that we have that squared away,” Lyra continued, “I think we should head off to begin preparations. Now the only thing left is...wait. Where is the kappa?”

Everypony in front of her shrugged. The human’s pet had been the last thing on their minds lately.

“Last I saw the thing, it was at my...oh no.”

***

Captain was annoyed. The master had left the house and left him behind with the loud four legs. The stupid ponies were freaking out when they learned the master had left the house. The master clearly had the right idea, as these ponies were annoying.

Even so, they were fun to scare. The master didn’t want him to scare them. But the master wasn’t in the house right now, was he? Before he could really get started, all the ponies left, leaving him alone. Stupid ponies, making him bored.

Getting off the couch, Captain walked up to a lovely looking vase. It looked really important. It would be a shame if something happened to it. Using a single finger he pushed the vase over and watched it shatter against the ground. Even with the loud crash, the ponies didn’t come back.

Then he found particularly nice piece of furniture, and with a loud rip, he devastated every inch of its surface. Still nothing. Well if that wouldn’t get their attention, what would?

A slow smile spread across the kappa’s face. This single thought grew in his mind. Surely the master wouldn’t be too upset with him. Clearly he no longer wished to be here, and he never said that he couldn’t play with the house a bit.

And so, Captain set off to explore and search for the most expensive things he could find in the house, so he could destroy them.

END.

Author's Note

I’m-a steal this music gimmick from Danneh, an’ I don’t even care.

Okay so this chapter has been a long time coming. It went through many complications with completion which was due to real life issues, that included being hospitalized, for those that don’t read my blogs.

TLDR: I am giving excuses and I hope you don’t murder me in the street.

For those of you that are curious as to what Abstract Theory looks like, then you are in luck, for I actually have a picture of him right here. You may recognize him for such hits as, being my avatar on this site. I got this done for free a while back, and I’m cheap and like to reuse designs. I am using it as a placeholder until I eventually get an actual ID of my own, because I've really got nothing better.

Next chapter: I escape this place before Danny finds me and breaks my legs again. He doesn’t read these author’s notes, so I think I’m safe. Please, someone help me.

Editor's notes:

Draven likes to wear women’s clothing.

That is all.

Also, nowhere is safe.

Chapter 5: "Oh, you shouldn't have!"

“Fools were we to not see what lied ahead, for the road to darkness was not without warning signs. First of these was what remained after the departure, for a witness returned to the site of his coming. His account states, ‘And behold, I saw a Great Leviathan, who sat upon his tower and looked upon the land with hungry eyes, in a world aflame and a civilization ruined, and I knew that it was but a shadow of things to come.”

-The First Victims, from the Brotherhood of Man’s holy book A Darker World.

***

“...A-T-O. That’s right.”

“And your surname?”

“M-I-D...Uhh...Sort of...It’s like an ‘O’, but it has a weird little line over the top of it.”

“...How does that make it different from a normal ‘O’?”

“Not sure really. I don't know how it's meant to be said, and I’ve heard my family use multiple pronunciations. I'm just going with what sounds least awkward. It's a carry-over from a culture I was never a part of. If I had my way, I'd spell with with a normal ‘O’."

“You humans are very...odd.” Celestia said before realizing she spoke aloud.

“Trust me, princess, you have no idea.”

“I can honestly believe that. As for myself, I have no more questions at this time. If anypony else wanted to ask anything, now’s the time.”

“Oh, oh! I have a question for him!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie.

“This can’t end well...” muttered Rainbow Dash.

“Mister Hayato, why is your skin all yellow? And your eyes all slanty? Second and First weren’t like that! It looks silly!”

Hayato was taken aback.

“Wow. That is the single most blatantly racist thing I’ve heard since elementary school. Good job.”

“Wha-what do you mean?” Pinkie asked sadly, “I didn’t mean to be mean, I’m sorry!”

Thinking about it, for ponies race meant the presence or lack of either wings or a horn. Yet every race of ponies came in multiple colours with seemingly little rhyme or reason. For them, bringing up color so bluntly probably wasn’t nearly as offensive. They probably had no idea what the problem was.

He sighed.

“Look, don’t worry about it. You probably didn’t know, and I’d never be able to function in real life if I were that easily offended. I just didn’t expect that is all. That’d be a much more sensitive question to ask where I come from.”

“So you’re not mad?”

“No, I’m not. And in answer to your question, I look like this because I’m half-Japanese on my mother’s side. Humans can look rather different. Second and First probably had a different ethnicity.”

While Hayato explained this, Twilight was off to the side, furiously writing down all the information she could get from him.

“Japanese. Is that a nationality, or...?”

“It means to be a native or national of Japan, or to be of Japanese descent. My grandmother was a Japanese immigrant to another country called America, and my family has lived there ever since. It’s where I was born, and my father was an American, so that makes me Japanese-American. I guess.”

“Fascinating...What can you tell me about these places?”

“Look, we’re going to be here forever if I try to explain the culture and history of two entire nations, especially given that I’m not all that knowledgeable about one of them. Can we please stop asking questions about my home?”

“Well darling, if you don’t mind, I have a much less intrusive question.”

Shit, what was her name again?

“Go ahead, um....you.”

“My name is Rarity, and I just have a question about your apparel, if that’s okay? Why do humans wear clothes all the time? Ponies simply wear them to look fashionable or for keeping warm in colder weather, but I’ve never seen one of your kind without any before, even in the heat wave that was going on at the time. Is it a cultural thing?”

“This question has more than one answer. The most important being that it protects our...modesty. Something ponies don’t seem to have a problem with. So in a way, I guess yes, it is a cultural thing.”

“Modesty? What could that...oh,” said Luna, off to the side.

“Human biology is more awkward than yours, in certain respects. Parts are exposed that we’d rather were not.”

“Would you happen to have any more clothes that I could use to study? I must say that human fashion interests me greatly.”

“Humans have worn some downright atrocious outfits over the course of history. Believe me, you would not want to see more.”

Hayato shuddered, as he thought of the renaissance.

“So you don’t have any more clothes with you?” Rarity asked carefully.

“Uh...no, I guess not. I’m actually curious why I’m wearing this to begin with. It’s not one of mine. Definitely human though. It’s even a name brand. Just not something I ever remember owning. The only thing that’s mine is the jacket. Weird.”

Rarity made a mental note: Humans have clothing brands.

Immediately, she went into fashionista mode and began examining every detail of Hayato’s clothing. He immediately began to feel uncomfortable as the white pony began to circle his body like a buzzard looking for its dinner. She examined him closely.

On his feet, he was wearing gray and black shoes with the letters D and C interwoven onto them. Above that, he wore a dark blue denim covering, of a kind that was popular among earth ponies. The upper section of the body was covered by a long grey jacket, made of an unknown material that was fuzzy to the touch. It had three large buttons on one side, and seemed to be of high quality. Topping the ensemble off was a black shirt beneath the jacket, that extended down his arms.

“Rarity, I believe you are making him uncomfortable,” Celestia pointed out.

“Oh! Terribly sorry, Mr. Midō; that was terribly un-ladylike of me.”

“It’s okay, just try not to do it often. Also, ‘Hayato’ is fine. Anyone else have questions?”

“I have a few if you don’t mind,” said Twilight.

Glad I don’t have anywhere to be for the next two months...

“Try and keep it short, would you?”

“Of course. First of all, how much do you know of Second and First? Any relation to them? Do you know about what happened to them?”

Again with First and Second...

“No. No relation. All I know about them is what I read about. I know that they came to Equestria and began causing trouble. It led to increasing amounts of conflicts that resulted in all-out war. Eventually you all murdered First, and in retaliation, Second went on a rampage. Then the six of you put him down with the Elements of Harmony. That about right?”

“Well when you say it like that, we look like bad guys,” Twilight said defensively, “There was more to it than that! We’d have never done anything like that if we didn’t absolutely have to. And nopony ever intended to kill First! It was an accident. The soldier who actually did it died too.”

“Well then you really need to rewrite your history books, because as an outsider to this whole sorry mess, it sure doesn’t sound like that to me. Then again, history’s written by the winners, so I guess you could write whatever you want...”

“There was much more to it than was recorded in the history books,” Celestia replied, “I am willing to give you a full detailing of what happened, but I assure you, we are not bad ponies.”

“Right. But that will have to wait until after I am out of this dust pit.”

“Oh, okay,” said Twilight, “Well, my next question is, what exactly happened in Hoofington? Where did you spend the night?”

Gotta be careful about this one. Can’t let them know about the Brotherhood.

“Well you see, I was tired after traveling through the woods, so when I found Hoofington, I was hoping to find a bed. I wasn’t really sure how ponies would act if they saw me, so I snuck into town, found a warm looking house belonging to some musician, and stayed the night in her attic hoping I wasn’t found. It’s where I came across the history book I mentioned, among other...interesting...literature.”

“You just broke into a pony’s home? Without any regards to personal privacy?” asked Princess Luna.

“It was either that, or sleep in the woods. Which would you have done in my situation?”

“Well...I...”

Not exactly any easy answers to that one.

“As for what happened in Hoofington, I assume that’s the town’s name, when I woke up, I spent some time looking around the house and just got bored. I decided to take a little walk and look around while keeping out of sight. That worked until I was accidently seen by one of the ponies. They formed a mob and chased me through town. Then your buddy over there showed up with an army to arrest me. You know the rest.”

“Is that really all that happened?” Celestia asked him.

“Well there might be more to it. Perhaps I could give you a full detailing later.”

Luna smirked, while Celestia looked unamused.

Turning my own words against me. Haha.

“Do you have any more questions for him, Twilight?” she asked.

“Yes, are there any other humans, Hayato? Are they all like you, or are they different?”

“Yes, there are billions of other humans. Only the others are seven feet tall and breath fire.”

“I thought you were going to be serious about this?”

“Yes, well I thought you all agreed not to ask any more questions about where I came from. You ponies are terrible at keeping your word.”

He had mentioned nations, different races, and his family. It was reasonable to assume that there were other humans, but he never really gave a good impression what the others were like. Or how many there were exactly. Certainly enough for them to have not just one, but multiple countries. There were millions and millions of ponies, but they all lived in Equestria, and hadn’t had separate societies since the days of the three tribes. What did that say about humans?

Oh well. No use making baseless assumptions.

“I am so sorry. I just love learning things about a new species, and I think I got a bit overzealous. But thank you for telling me what you were willing to; it is fascinating to me.”

“Was that your last question?”

“I just have one more for right now, if you don’t mind. I’m curious why you keep denying you have powers, despite all the evidence to the contrary.”

“Why do you all keep insisting that I do? Granted it looks pretty bad with that magic metal screwing with me, but I swear, I have no freaking powers. Watch.”

Hayato proceeded to stick his fists straight up in the air as he stood on his tiptoes and hopped a bit. A few moments later he stood there and with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face.

“What did I tell you? That proves my case.”

“That doesn’t prove anything! What the hay were you doing, stretching?” Shining Armor shouted.

“I was trying to fly...and since it didn’t work, that proves my case. Your move, Mr. Ed.”

“There is an anti-flight spell inside here,” the captain said flatly.

“I....well...fuck.

“And Second and First couldn’t fly anyway. So nyeaaaah.”

“Classy, dear. Real classy,” mumbled Cadance as she facehoofed.

“Trust me, if I had powers, you would be the first to know, Shining.”

“What’s that supposed to mean, you freak of nature?”

“Alright, I think we shall end this here, boys,” said Celestia, stepping in between the two of them.

“But he...” Shining Armor began.

Hayato interrupted him with a loud sigh.

“No, you’re right, princess,” he said wearily, “I can’t believe I got riled up like that. But, I shall be the better man, and rise above the petty likes of Mister Armor.”

The captain glared at him.

“So, what do you say, Shiny? Friends?”

Hayato held out a hand. His voice was oozing with sarcasm, but he had indirectly challenged Shining Armor, and there was no way he would let some deformed diamond dog get the better of him. So he put on the best false smile he could muster, grasped his hand in a hoof, and shook it vigorously.

“Friends,” he said through gritted teeth.

“The best.” Hayato responded with loathing.

Though they said nothing more, their eyes exchanged unspoken words.

I’m going to kill you in your sleep, human.

Yeah, well you’re a farm animal in my world.

“Princess... I don’t think I have seen friendship like this before,” Twilight mumbled, more than a little confused.

“I don’t think anypony has, Twilight.”

“Should I write a letter to you about it?”

“I think it might be better for you not to; this isn’t your typical friendship. Anyway. Let’s go, everypony, and leave Mr. Midō alone for now. We shall be back soon with the decision about what to do about this whole situation. Farewell.”

All of the ponies nodded and said their farewells. Shining Armor looked back and Hayato and mouthed;

I’m watching you.

Hayato smiled in return and stuck up a middle finger at him. The beauty of it was that Shiny had no idea what it meant, and just gave him an odd look before shrugging and walking out with the others.

He then noticed that the dragon had remained behind. Celestia’s group did not seem to notice his absence at all.

“Aren’t you supposed to be going with them?”

“Probably, but I don’t feel like it. They’re off to discuss what to do with you. They don’t need me, and I’ve got nothing else to do. Plus, you’re the only other guy with hands I’ve met that hasn’t tried to kill or kidnap me or my friends.”

I could’ve sworn this was a kids’ show at one point...

***

Abstract Theory proceeded down the halls of the castle, with Lyra at his side. After their conversation in the gardens, they had decided to walk around the grounds for a bit to get their minds off of unpleasant topics. He’d suggested this more for Lyra’s sake than his own, and so far it seemed to be working.

On their way back into the castle, Lyra’s stomach rumbled quite loudly. Since they had plenty of time to spare, they decided to stop in at the restaurant located just inside the castle, made to serve tourists and the few palace staff that didn’t live on-site.

The two ponies chatted away about frivolous things as they entered the building. The conversation was halted when they noticed Bon Bon sitting on a cushion at one of the tables, with her back to them. Seemingly engrossed in a book she was reading, Bon Bon was blissfully unaware that they were there.

Lyra considered calling out to her friend, but a wicked idea pushed that thought aside. A predatory smile crossed her face, and she crouched down and began moving forwards. Abstract shook his head at her foalish advance, but made sure not to make any noise that would ruin the surprise.

Once she was behind Bon Bon, she struck. Much to Lyra’s misfortune, Bon Bon spun about and grabbed her forehooves. She proceed to use Lyra’s own momentum and fling her across the room. Abstract chuckled. Lyra skidded along the carpet. He was starting to see why other ponies loved surprises so much.

“Oh, Lyra! I am so sorry, are you okay?”

“Is that a trick question?” Abstract responded with a smirk.

“It’s okay, Bonny, I don’t feel any pain...Oh wait, there it is...”

As Bon Bon helped Lyra up and made sure she really was okay, Abstract noticed a certain white unicorn sitting over in the corner of the room. Rather uncharacteristically of him, he was not sitting in any kind of special chair, or in a roped off VIP area.

He was going to turn and walk away when the unicorn made eye contact with him, and a large smile appeared on his face.

“Abstract Theory, is that you?” he called out.

And there goes any remaining chance of a good day...

“Your majesty, it is so good to see you,” Abstract said as he turned to face Prince Blueblood on the other side of the room.

“Do come over here! Feel free to bring Ms. Heartstrings and her little friend as well.”

I bet I could kill him and nopony would try to stop me. I might even get a medal.

Much to his chagrin, Abstract gathered his friends and brought them over to the table where Blueblood waited. When they arrived, he noticed that he was not alone. There was an orange earth pony sitting with him whom had somehow evaded his attention before. Something was odd about her coat, and it was then that Abstract noticed that it was partially white.

Dying your coat? Do ponies still even do that?

“So Blueblood, who is this lovely mare you are sitting with?” Lyra asked politely.

“Oh, of course! You haven’t met her yet. have you, Lyra? This is my lovely wife; Snooki.”

Since when has he been married? I saw him out on a date with that Manehattan model just last month!

“We’ve been together for almost a year now,” he continued, answering Abstract’s unspoken question for him.

“It is like, super great to meet you, Lyra. I am like, such a super fan and junk.”

My brain cells. I can feel them dying...dying...dead.

“I even like, named one of my foals after you. I called her, like, Ly-Ly. She is like so sweet and stuff. She can’t play music that well since she’s a pegasus, but she is a big fan too.”

I could make a fortune parading this mare in a travelling freak show. I could rent a stage and wagon, knock her out in an alleyway tonight somewhere, tie her up and get a cage, and...Damn. What is wrong with me?

“Wait, you have kids?” asked Lyra, “Blueblood, I never knew. Congratulations, you two!”

“Oh yeah. We have, like, six. There’s Ly-Ly, Glass Bottle, Late Night, Morning After, Sleeping Pill, and Blueblood Jr.”

Abstract raised an eyebrow.

One of these things is not like the other.

“Blueblood Junior?” he repeated.

“Oh, cha! He is just like his daddy!”

And with that, Equestria has become a darker place.

“Junior is the first one we had together,” the prince explained quietly, “The other five are from Snooki's previous relationships.”

“...So how old are they?” Bon Bon asked her.

“Ly-Ly is five, Glass Bottle is four, Night and Morning are both thirteen now, and they’re twins, Sleeping Pill is ten, and Blueblood Jr. is actually three days now. He’s with the foalsitter.”

Three days?

“If he’s only three days, why aren’t you in the hospital with him?”

“Like, why would I be, silly? You don’t go to a hospital to have a baby; the stork brings them.”

There is no way this can be real. Am I being punk’d?

Blueblood was giving them both a desperate look, as if silently begging them to stop talking.

“So...Is junior adopted, or...?”

“No! Of course not!” the prince interrupted, seeming panicked, “After a long night, we woke up the following morning to find that we had been gifted with another foal, who was created from thin air by the magic of our love. You know. Like how all foals are made?”

He gave the three of them a pleading look, while Snooki remained cheerfully oblivious.

How in Tartarus did this mare have five kids before this one, and not make the connection between pregnancy and the appearance of a new foal?

“...Well I am very happy for the two of you,” he said as sincerely as he could.

As he spoke, his eyes met the prince’s. Blueblood immediately understood what Abstract’s look meant;

You owe me answers.

“But...” Lyra started.

Abstract just gave her a stern look. Lyra wanted to question this strangeness too, but she nevertheless let it go. If ignorance was bliss, then this mare had to be walking on sunshine right now.

“So uh, what brings you to the castle?” Blueblood asked, changing the subject.

Abstract began to talk to him about their ideas on how to handle the situation with the human. Blueblood listened and actually seemed to be taking it seriously, although from Abstract’s experience, one could never be sure when it came to Blueblood.

“I certainly like the idea of constructing a prison tailor-made for a human. Simply tying the creature up doesn’t sit well with me. Also, this idea about food is quite viable. If I remember correctly they constantly complained about that last time. Very well, I will authorize that both of these projects can begin.”

“Really?” Bon Bon asked, “You can do that?”

“Of course, my dear. I am a prince. I can authorize a great many things. What do you think I do all day?”

Don’t give a sarcastic response. Don’t give a sarcastic response...

“I’m quite grateful, your majesty,” Abstract said politely, smiling, “The sooner we get this started, the better.”

***

“So...What are we going to do?” Celestia asked seriously.

“Well, he seems to be cooperating, even if he isn’t the most agreeable sort,” Twilight observed, “And he really hasn’t done anything especially wrong. Some small things, yes, but nothing to warrant this kind of treatment if a pony did it.”

“We find ourselves agreeing with Twilight Sparkle, sister. The human has been a saint so far compared to the last two.”

“Chrysalis was a saint compared to the last two humans,” Shining Armor replied, “With all due respect your majesties, and personal biases aside, I really don’t think it’s safe to let him loose.”

“Are you even sure you’re really holding him, dear?” asked Rarity, “He broke those chains like they were nothing. What’s so effective about that magical shield? We’ve seen that break many times before. No offense.”

The stallion sighed, dejected.

“None taken...”

“Rarity is right, big brother. If he wanted to get out, he probably would have broken your shield and left already. Just telling him he has to stay here will only work until he gets too bored to keep humouring us.”

“Ah dunno,” said Applejack, “Am I the only one who thinks he was tellin’ the truth when he said he didn’t have any powers? He sounded like he believed what he was sayin’ at least.”

“You saw what he did to the metal!” Shining Armor almost shouted, “That was dwarf star alloy! If it weren’t for the Doctor’s machines and the special enchantments over the whole area, me and the other soldiers couldn’t even have moved those chains outside of the crater! And he made sculptures out of them! Sculptures! Of gargoyles!”

“These are just further arguments for why continued imprisonment is pointless,” said Luna.

“What about the mare whose house he broke into?” asked the captain, “Are we ignoring that too?”

“If you want to try and put a human on trial in pony courts for burglary, be my guest,” Celestia answered.

“...So that’s a yes, we are ignoring this?”

“What would you have us do?” the princess asked, turning on the captain, “Use the charge of breaking and entering to put a being capable of sculpting dwarf star alloy into statues through the Equestrian court system, and hold him in a prison he can break out of at any time, relying on his own honour for him to see through a sentence handed down by ponies he has every reason to resent?”

“Yeeeaaahh...” said Dash, speaking for the first time in the conversation so far, “I don’t really like the idea of this guy going free either, but...I really don’t see what else we can do here.”

The captain sighed.

“I still think this is a huge mistake...”

***

“So here’s a question...” Hayato said with his back to Spike, as he molded the statue’s wings, “If you’re in your twenties, why do they still call you a baby dragon now?”

Spike shrugged.

“Terms are relative. Foals aren’t technically called babies anymore by the time they can walk. Dragons have a lifespan in the thousands though. I’ve heard some say millions. So that period when you’re considered a baby lasts a long time in pony years.”

“So you are a kid then?”

The little dragon grumbled.

“In dragon time. I live with ponies. I was brought up by ponies. I think of myself as if I were a pony. As far as I’m concerned, I’m already a grown-up.”

“But the others disagree?”

Hayato stepped back and looked at the wings again. This time he was deliberately trying to make a gargoyle, so he was trying to make the wings appear more hellish and bat-like.

“Yeah...I still look about the same as I did when I first came to Ponyville. Nopony seems to have noticed any change...Twilight’s always going to treat me like a kid as long as I’m still shorter than her.”

“Well, to be honest, if your adult size is supposed to be big enough that a pony can walk along your nose, I don’t blame her for that.”

He tilted his head as he looked at the statue.

“...What do you think my chances are of getting out of here?”

Spike was surprised.

“You mean...breaking out?”

“No, I mean them letting me go. It’s boiling hot in this desert, even with the shield, and I really want to leave some time soon.”

“Oh.”

Spike tapped his chin with a claw as he thought about that.

“...I dunno. Odds are against you, actually.”

Hayato frowned, as he turned to face Spike properly.

“Do they really hate humans that much?”

“Well, you weren’t there when Second and First were terrorising the land.”

“So tell me about it then. What did they do exactly?”

Spike held up a little hand, and counted off their crimes on his fingers.

“One, between them they hospitalised several thousand soldiers in the royal guard, and in several police departments. Two, Second tried to kill Princess Celestia with the Reaper’s horn and almost did. Three, four other ponies were killed by Second after First died. Four, they destroyed loads of public buildings and ponies’ homes. Five-”

The dragon looked down at his hand, and realised he had ran out of fingers. He changed to the other.

“Five. They sunk Princess Celestia’s yacht. Six, they killed an Ursa Major and left it in front of the palace in Canterlot. Seven, they just terrified everypony wherever they went! Like, you have no idea. Those guys were scary.”

The human remained quiet, but seemed contemplative.

“I...see...”

Spike couldn’t tell what he was thinking, but it seemed he was deep in thought about something. Though it was natural that the conversation always became serious when talk of Second and First came up, he really didn’t want it to become awkward and quiet like this. He tried to change the subject.

“Say, since you have fingers...do you know how to play Rock, Paper, Scissors?”

“Of course I do. Why?”

“Look at who I live with,” Spike replied, wiggling his claws, “Can never find anypony to play with. Want a game?”

Hayato crouched down so he was level with Spike.

“You’re on.”

***

“Ze Athena is intended to be a military ship, but eet eez unfinished, in zat ve have not yet added ze veapons or defences. Still, we could forego adding zose parts, and sell eet as a civilian model. Available right now, if you wish.”

Fancy Pants looked up at the great airship before him, laying in the middle of Cid’s airfield and being swarmed around by griffins and pegasus ponies alike. A ramp led up into the gondola, which was a fairly large one. Cid had promised that it was very spacious inside.

”Is this the only one you have right now?”

Cid scoffed.

“Eez ze Athena not up to your standards, monsieur? Zis is only one of ze finest models ve have made!”

“I’m sure it’s excellent by military standards, Cid. I just-”

“‘Military standards’! You insult me, old friend. Ze Athena is more zan a match for any civilian airship ve have made for you, or any of ze rest of ze pony nobility! Ve do not skimp on aesthetics or any other comforts just because ve are building for ze military rather than some baron or prince!”

“..Sorry. I was just hoping for a proper civilian model, rather than a warship minus the weapons...”

“Our varships are just our civilian models plus ze weapons, monsieur,” Cid pointed out.

The griffin took another puff of his cigar.

“So? Eez zis acceptable to you? Do ve have a deal?”

Fancy Pants sighed.

“Fine,” he said reluctantly, “I’ll take the Athena.”

***

On the furthest outskirts of Nameless meanwhile, hidden in the dunes, a sandy coloured arachnid laid on its belly, holding up a pair of binoculars in front of its face. They were pony binoculars, and thus were at best unwieldy for the spider, but he could spy his target just fine.

Another, larger spider of a darker colour scuttled up next to him.

“Scout Quentin!” he said in a refined, clear voice, “I require a report immediately!”

Quentin looked back at the newcomer.

“Centurion,” he acknowledged, in a similar accent.

The spider returned to staring through the binoculars as he gave his report.

“Looks to be a large gathering. The airship brought with it three pony princesses, and the six pretenders. We would be ill advised to make a move as it is now, but I believe this is a temporary visit. An inspection, perhaps. Once they leave, whatever they are attempting to hide in that crater will be easily taken.”

“And what are they hiding?” the centurion pressed.

“Uncertain. Given the proximity to our lair, I would guess that this is the beginnings of a plan to wipe out the last remnants of the Legion. The crater is likely hiding some kind of weapon.”

“Hmm,” the centurion replied, “Keep close watch. Inform me if there are any further developments.”

***

“Mr. Midō?”

Spike and the human ceased the latest round of their game and looked to their side as Celestia and Luna entered the crater, the latter watching the young dragon with a look of concern. Hayato was sat in the sand next to him, cross legged.

“We’ve discussed the situation together,” the older sister explained, “Everypony agrees that we can’t really justify keeping you here any longer, and it would be mostly pointless anyway. If the pony whose house you broke into or the stallion you vomited on really want to press charges against you, they can try, but ourselves and the state of Equestria are staying out of it.

“Captain Shining Armor was the one to take you into custody, so he’s signing the release forms now, and you should be out of here by this afternoon, at which point you’re free to do as you wish. That said, we’d really prefer if you would come to the royal palace in Canterlot, so that we might discuss this situation. If it’s really as you say, then we’ve a lot to talk about.”

Hayato nodded.

“That’s understandable.”

“...Spike, does Twilight or Shining Armor know that thou stayed in here?” asked Luna.

The dragon looked around guiltily.

“Umm...Yes. Yes they do.”

The princess of the night narrowed her eyes at him, and Spike began to sweat nervously, but they didn’t get a chance to continue before being interrupted by Hayato.

“Hey, if I’m going to be dragged to Canterlot once I get out, can you send someone to go pick up Captain back in Hoofington for me?”

“‘Captain’?” Celestia repeated.

“My pet kappa. I found him in the forest near where I woke up. I left him back there when I was arrested. He might still be in that house I broke into.”

The two sisters exchanged a worried look. A kappa being loose in a pony city sounded like the premise of a Nightmare Night show.

“We’ll see what we can do,” Luna promised.

She then turned on Spike again.

“And you. With us. Now.”

***

Fleetfoot looked on in confusion as she saw the princesses passing through the shield and heading towards the main building again. For some reason, Luna was dragging Spike along behind her with her magic, and the little dragon was struggling to break free again. She was sure there was a story behind that, but she didn’t want to get involved.

Celestia meanwhile was heading in Fleetfoot’s direction, likely going to board the Artemis, which was parked just behind the pegasus.

“Your majesty,” she greeted as the princess passed by.

Celestia stopped and turned to her.

“Ah, Echo Fleetfoot. I’m glad you’re here actually. Could you do me a favour?”

“Of course.”

“The human said that he had kept a pet kappa back in Hoofington. He left it there when he was captured. It may have since gotten loose. I need somepony to fly back there and do something about it, or at least alert the local authorities.”

“‘Do something about it’?”

“Pacify it, and bring it back to Canterlot. Try not to hurt it too badly. I don’t know how attached Mr. Midō is to the creature, but I’d rather not upset him by having it come to undue harm.”

“Well...I’d like to help, princess, but I can’t fly right now. I actually physically can’t. Doctor’s orders.”

Celestia sighed.

“No matter. I’ll find Rainbow Dash and get her to do it. Maybe Fluttershy too. She’s good with animals...”

“Princess? Are you going back to Canterlot now?”

The alicorn nodded.

“Can I come too? I was meant to be heading there anyway, but then there was all this with the human, and...”

“Say no more. You’re welcome to come with us.”

Fleetfoot smiled.

“Thank you, princess.”

“You had best get on board. We’ll be leaving in ten minutes.”

***

Shining Armor grumbled as he levitated a number of papers around himself. The various files and forms floated lazily around him in a circle, and the stallion kept turning his attention to different papers and taking a quill to a different one each time, seemingly at random.

“This whole operation is going to look terrible on the budget...”

This right here was a perfect example of what happened when you let there be too much red tape. Because no standard prison would hold Hayato, and this whole idea of using the dwarf star alloy chains and the crater was improvised, Shining had effectively built a whole new prison.

Now he had to make official paperwork for his new prison, including assigning guard shifts and awarding the appropriate salary rises, making sure to put in an order to say that the new prison was full so some petty thief wasn’t sent out here, processing his one and only prisoner, and once all that was done, he then had to sign the paperwork for the release of his prisoner, decommission the new prison, and notify the guards that they would be returning to their regular duties which they never stopped doing.

And no. He couldn’t skip any of that in the name of common sense or saving time. These were all things he was legitimately expected to do.

Sometimes, I hate politicians.

“Big brother?”

Shining pushed the papers immediately in front of his face aside to see his sister and Cadance standing in the doorway to his office.

“We’re going to take off now,” she explained, “Everypony’s going back to the palace in the Artemis. You’ll have to catch up to us later.”

“That’s fine,” the captain agreed, “I’ll only be an hour behind you at worst.”

“TWILIGHT SPARKLE!”

That wasn’t royal Canterlot voice; that was regular shouting.

Luna stepped into the room, levitating an irritated baby dragon behind her.

“Did thou know-”

She shook her head suddenly, and hit herself in the forehead.

“Did YOU know, that Spike stayed behind in the crater when we left, alone with the human?!”

“Spike!” Twilight scolded, “What were you thinking?!”

“I was thinking I’d try, y’know, talking with him,” Spike replied, “I mean, how often do you get to talk with a human? I just wanted to ask him some things.”

“You should have asked him when everypony else was asking questions then!”

“You aren’t the boss of me!” the dragon shouted.

“Twilight...” said Cadance, “He’s not a little kid anymore. Don’t you think you’re being a bit overprotective? It’s not like he was in any danger. The royal guard were still around after all.”

The unicorn sighed.

“We’ll talk about this later, Spike. Come with me. We’re going back to Canterlot.”

“What? No! I want to stay here!” Spike protested, “I want to stay and ask Hayato more questions and talk some more. He knows how to play Rock, Paper, Scissors, and has the hands to do it with! Do you know how rare that is?!”

Twilight tried to think of some kind of response, but only came up with an exasperated groan. Seeing his sister’s frustration, Shining Armor decided to offer his help.

“It’s okay, Twiley. I’m stuck here for a bit longer anyway. I can have the guards watch him while he’s here, and I’ll take him back personally when the rest of us return home.”

Twilight smiled.

“Thanks, Shiny.”

She quickly said her goodbyes to Spike as well, and told him to be safe, before leaving to board the Artemis. Cadance stayed behind a little longer to give her husband a goodbye kiss.

“I’ll be back before you know it,” he promised her, “Make sure to tell ‘Tune about this human business too. We don’t want him to show up and without her knowing anything about it. She might get scared.”

Cadance chuckled.

“Scared of what? She doesn’t even know what a human is. You should have seen her face when my aunt got your letter about him surrendering. We were all talking about how strange it was that he would just give up, and the poor dear was looking around all confused, like she didn’t know what we were talking about.”

He smiled at the mental image of that, because it sounded adorable.

“Well, tell her anyway then,” he said, before kissing her again.

“Okay...Bye, dear.”

***

“They left.”

In the heart of the Spider Legion camp, the centurion twisted around to see Scout Quentin standing behind him, a stern look on his features.

“You are sure?”

“Certain. Those that arrived in the airship all left in it again not three minutes ago. I came running back to camp as soon as they did. They left behind one passenger, the small dragon known as Spike, but they picked up another, who looked to be a member of the infamous Wonderbolts.”

The centurion snorted.

“Fools. Now their outpost is even less well defended than before.”

He turned to address the rest of the camp.

“Attention, legionnaires! Prepare yourselves! We attack the ponies in one hour!”

***

Hayato stood in the center of the crater, examining his handiwork. He had spent the better part of fifteen minutes sculpting after Spike left with the Princesses, victorious in their series of Rock, Paper, Scissors. He was starting to doubt if he was ever going to beat anyone in anything while he was here.

The statue had made significant improvement over its previous incarnation as an angel. This time it was meant to look terrifying and monstrous. Hayato turned and motioned for the guard that had been left in the crater after they took Spike back to come over to him.

“Tell me, soldier, what do you think of my statue?”

“It is going to fuel my nightmares for years to come, sir.”

“And that’s a good thing, right?”

“I certainly hope not...”

Well I like it...

Hayato heard some crunching in the dirt and turned to see who was approaching him. Hopefully it was Shining Armor, coming to tell him he could get out of this dust pit.

“Dude, that’s creepy,” Spike said, motioning at the statue.

Hayato sighed, and threw his hands up in the air.

“I can see where the midget is coming from. That thing looks like it came right out of a campfire ghost story.”

Hayato looked up into the sky and saw a dark shape hovering above them. At first it was hard to see who it was, but once she landed, he could see that it was the griffin that had left what felt like hours ago to get him his burger.

And she was carrying one in her beak. It was dripping blood.

When she landed on the she dropped the burger into his hands. She grinned in triumph and awaited his thoughts on the hard earned meal.

“Is...is this still raw?” he asked as blood dripped into his hands.

“Heh, it sure is! I flew as fast as I could to get it back to you fresh. I hope you like bear meat,” she said as she polished her claws on her chest feathers.

“...I think there’s been a communication error here...”

“What are you talking about? You wanted a burger, that’s the good stuff right there. I even went out of my way to find a place that sells the buns.”

“And while I appreciate that, I also prefer it cooked.”

“Cooked? Oh, you’re one of those types, eh? Too fancy for the rest of us, are you?!”

“Don’t you people consider my kind gods? I think I’m entitled to some culinary standards.”

“Let me show you where you can put your culinary standards...”

“Woah woah, everyone calm down. I can cook the meat. Did you all just forget that dragons breath fire?”

The two glared at Spike and then each other, before laughing. They felt rather stupid. Hayato handed the burger to the griffin and used some spare metal-ish stuff to mold a tiny table.

“Have at it, champ,” he said, once it was put on the table.

Spike rolled his eyes and stood in front of the burger. He took a deep breath and spewed green fire over it. Once the flames reached it though, it disappeared from view. Hayato blinked a few times and looked over at Spike, who gulped.

“What did you do to my burger?”

“I...uh...mailed it...” he said, as he began to sweat nervously.

***

Celestia was sitting down with Luna as they went over plans for housing their new guest. They felt that they were making good headway. Hayato would no doubt be pleased with his accommodations.

“Sister, art thou sure we should give him his own tower?”

“Do you not think he would enjoy it?”

“We do not want to make him feel that he is being quarantined from everypony else. ‘Tis not a happy feeling.”

“Then we shall have a backup room just in case. I believe Mr. Midō will enjoy having some input on the matter.”

Just as she finished her sentence, Celestia felt a surge of magic coming towards her. It was the familiar feel of when Spike sent her a message, but what could he possibly be sending her that could not wait until they met up again in Canterlot?

Moments later the smell of raw flesh filled the air as the burger arrived and landed on the table, splattering blood on the two unsuspecting princesses.

“...He stays in the tower, by himself. Case closed.”

***

“I’m just saying, she should probably see a doctor. She could qualify for some kind of benefits...”

“Lyra, she is married to a prince. She gets plenty of benefits as it is.”

“Oh fine, I’ll drop it. Hey, is it just me, or are there more guards here now than there were earlier?”

Abstract and the others had left the restaurant to spare themselves from having to deal with more of Blueblood’s rambling. None of them could believe that he had actually found somepony who would marry him. They had thrown out many theories that ranged from a group hallucination, to Abstract’s favorite, an animated doll.

As the three of them walked through the hallways, they found themselves passing an increasing number of guards. They were all pretty sure that there had not been nearly this many earlier that day, and were curious as to why they were seeing so many. When they got close to another guard, Bon Bon approached him.

“Excuse me sir, but it seems like there are more guards around, might I ask why?”

“The princesses returned to the castle,” he answered, “So more guards are needed again. Most of us just got back from Nameless.”

Bon Bon thanked him and headed back over to her friends.

“It seems like the princesses have come back. We can go meet them now. We may even be able to find out how Fleetfoot is doing, if we’re careful about how we ask.”

The other two agreed, and proceeded to the throne room which had previously been closed. It did not take them long to make their way past the guards, and inside they saw not only Celestia and Luna, but also the element bearers, sans Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy.

Celestia and the others all looked to them when they saw the trio enter the room. Lyra and Bon Bon both waved to Twilight and her friends when they recognised them.

“Greetings, my little ponies. What can I do for you today?”

“It’s so good to see you again, your majesty,” Abstract said, “I have heard of the appearance of the new human, and have come to offer you my services once again.”

“...How so?”

“During First and Seconds reign, you had me assist in ways of dealing with their threat, and I am willing to do so again. I met your nephew earlier, and he authorized the construction of a special prison made to hold a human, which custom features made for such a task. For example, the entire thing would be made of-”

“We have released the human,” she said, interrupting Abstract.

Abstract’s jaw froze in mid sentence and then dropped.

What did she just say? No, no, no, I must have heard that wrong. There is no way she would just release Lord Third like that. These tyrants would never-

“We couldn’t really find him guilty of anything and couldn’t justify holding him any longer, so Shining Armor is signing his release forms right now.”

...I should have known. They’re trying to save their own image. Two-faced nags. I need to get to Lord Third soon, before something conveniently ‘happens’ to him...

“Might I ask as to what your plans are for the human? I hope you don’t plan on just letting him wander around alone...?”

Lyra looked over at Abstract, worried about what could be going through his mind right now.

“He will be staying at the castle as our guest.”

Of course he will...

“Although, we could use your assistance in another matter relating to him. What do you know about kappas?”

“I know a great deal, I studied them several years ago for a project, but what does that have to do with...”

...OH GODS.

“You see, Mr. Midō, the human, has apparently domesticated a kappa and wishes for it to stay with him. I would like for you to come up with some ways of containing it so that it is not a threat to the ponies of Canterlot.”

...WE LEFT THE KAPPA BACK IN LYRA’S HOUSE!

Lyra was having similar thoughts.

WE LEFT THE KAPPA BACK IN MY HOUSE!

“C-certainly your majesty. Might I ask where the creature is?”

“It is back in Hoofington, in the home of a pony whose house he had broken into to stay the night. He said a musician. We don’t know who though. Rainbow and Fluttershy are off trying to find it right now.”

Lyra openly broke down crying.

“WHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYY?!”

***

Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy flew side by side through the sky. Rainbow led the way, as she had been to Hoofington many times to see the Wonderbolts perform in the past, and actually performed there herself when she finally joined.

As they were flying, the sky began to get a bit darker, and redder, and they were even beginning to smell the acrid stench of smoke. At a certain point, the smoke got to be too much, and they were forced to land just outside of the city.

Off to the side, they saw that the town's welcome sign sign was scratched up, and where the population once read two hundred thousand, a zero had been crossed out. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash looked at each other and gulped.

“U-uhm, Rainbow Dash, was it always like this?” Fluttershy asked, quaking with fear.

“No way. What the heck happened?”

They both moved carefully towards the city, and began to see ruined homes, and other buildings that were destroyed and burned down. In the deeper parts of the city, they could see large towers that had smoke rising from them.

“What in Equestria...” Rainbow Dash began.

“This is not Equestria, pegasus! You stand on the grounds of The Democratic Ponies’ Republic of Kaprea!”

Rainbow Dash spun around and saw herself standing face to face with several mares clad in snake leather and with outrageously bad mane styles, who were all well armed and pointing spears, knives, lead pipes and chains at them.

“What are you talking about? This is Hoofington.”

“Ha! Hoofington! I remember that place. That was a long time ago, when we were weak,” said the mare in front, a dull yellow earth pony with a bright green mohawk.

“Long ago? What the heck are you talking about? I performed here just last week!”

“You’re living in the past, mare! Quit living in the past!”

“A WEEK AGO IS NOT THE PAST!”

“U-um, Rainbow Dash, please don’t make the well armed ponies angry...”

“You will be brought before the president now...” the earth pony said threateningly.

“Fine! Take me to this ‘president’! Who is this guy anyway?!”

“Oh, you’ll see...”

***

The shield dropped in less than a second, and Shining Armor appeared right on the edge of the crater, looking down at the human, the dragon, the griffin, and the remaining pony guard down in the centre.

“You. Midō. You’re getting paroled.”

Hayato grinned up at his rescuer, whom he also hated, and walked up the crater’s edge. Once he reached it, he found that there was an old fashioned horse drawn carriage waiting for him. A fancy, regal looking thing too. Most likely belonging to Shining Armor himself. Two ponies were strapped to the front of it, but they were earth ponies, not pegasi, so it looked like he wasn’t going to get to fly yet.

“Oh gee, Shining, I sure do appreciate you doing this for me. I am sure you advocated very hard for this,” he said tauntingly.

“I did my best,” the stallion said, trying his best to keep up his pretense of tolerance.

“And what a great job you did, I can see why you are in charge.”

Despite his attempts to remain calm, Shinings right eye began to twitch.

“Do I get to ride back to Canterlot in your carriage?”

The captain opened his mouth to speak.

“Oh, you shouldn’t have!” the human interrupted, throwing the doors open and leaping inside.

Shining just sighed, and watched as Spike jumped in after him. He looked over to the two guards who had been watching over Hayato and Spike. The griffin and the pony.

“I suppose you might as well get in too...”

“Thanks a lot, cappy,” the griffin said.

“Please don’t call me that,” Shining said.

***

The smell of smoke was strong as they got closer to the center of the city. All around, there were ponies wearing leather, moving heavy containers back and forth. Many of them were marching down into a what looked to be pony-made cave entrances, almost like mines.

The sight of the place really shocked Rainbow Dash. She could barely recognize the city, and if it weren’t for the fact she had been here so many times, she wouldn’t even have believed she was in Hoofington.

Nearby, she saw a filthy unicorn mare hauling along a cart of vegetables. Their tour guide turned away from them for a moment to draw a whip and strike at the unicorn.

“Work harder, slave! You do not want to disappoint the president, do you?!”

“Ow! Roseluck, what was that for?!”

“Fool, I am no longer Roseluck! You will address me by my Kaprean name, Whiplash!”

“Roseluck, is this because I lost the hair dryer you lent me last week? I said I was sorry, like a billion times!”

The guide mare’s face went red.

“Straw, you’re embarrassing me in front of the outsiders!” she whispered.

The unicorn sighed.

“Sorry, Mistress Whiplash...”

“That’s better! Now return to your work!”

She whipped Straw again.

“Ow! Seriously, not so hard, or I won’t humour you again!”

They eventually reached a large building that seemed to have been constructed entirely out of metal, something that was a very rare occurrence in the world, and which towered high into the sky.

In the plaza out front, many ponies were being supervised as they constructed what looked to be a giant statue made of scrap. It was too early to see what it was going to end up as though. Two floors up the metal tower, a balcony overlooked the plaza below, which also hosted what could only be described as a skull throne, except Rainbow was certain it was a Nightmare Night prop.

A light blue unicorn, covered in coal dust, crawled to Rainbow and Fluttershy’s hooves.

“We tried pushing him over, we tried pulling off his protective hat...NOTHING WORKED! HE WAS JUST TOO STRONG FOR US!”

She cried, and hugged Rainbow’s legs.

“PLEASE SAVE US!”

“Hush you!” Whiplash/Roseluck ordered, “Alright outsiders! Time for you to meet the President...”

Up above them, on the balcony, the door into the tower opened, and a figure emerged.

“Oh you have got to be bucking kidding me...”

***

Hayato looked out the window as the landscape passed them by. They were still in the desert, and had been for a while. Out of boredom and a lack of anything interesting, he turned to that the most desperate of measures, socialising with other sentient beings.

“...So...What’s your name? I just realized I never asked.”

“Gilda. Finest freelance operative in the Equestrian military,” the griffin answered with no small amount of pride.

“Funny. I’ve never heard of you,” Shining muttered.

“That just goes to show you how good I am. Don’t feel so bad, we can’t all be top tier,” she said with a smirk.

Hayato found himself liking this Operative Gilda more with each passing minute.

“You! I remember you!” exclaimed Spike, finally realizing who she was.

“Took you long enough, pipsqueak,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“You two know each other?” Hayato asked.

“He ate most of my cake when we first met, didn’t say a word to me, and then forgot about me for eight years.”

“Y-yeah? Well you made Fluttershy cry, which was way worse!”

“I shouted loudly at her. It’s not my fault she has thin skin. Besides, I read the news. Didn’t she make a dragon cry not weeks afterwards? Like, a full grown dragon?”

“Wait...are we talking about the yellow one? The one that looked like she would pass out if I sneezed wrong?” Hayato asked.

“That’s the one. And if you think the dragon thing is scary, you don’t even want to know what she’s done since. Seriously, shorty here will act like she couldn’t take being shouted at and I was a huge bully, but looking at what she’s become famous for since then, she terrifies me. Don’t let the squeaking and the hiding behind others fool you. That mare could probably kill you easier than I could.”

Looking over at Spike, Hayato wasn’t sure if the little dragon was proud or sad about that fact.

Suddenly...

BOOM!

There was an explosion outside. Screaming. The carriage rocked, and came to a halt. Out the window, Hayato could see the white coated royal guards all fleeing in the same direction, and a hail of spears and other bladed weapons raining down.

“Huh...” he said, “I’m with the military, we’re in the desert, and we’ve suddenly come under attack from someone wielding explosive weapons...This is uncomfortably close to how Iron Man started...”

And now I’m having flashbacks to Avengers 2. Damn, that movie was so disappointing...And the first one was so good! Why did they have to bring the Fantastic Four into the mix? Chris Evans looked so lost having to do whole scenes talking to himself...

There was another explosion outside, really close to them, and the carriage was knocked on its side. Human, griffin, dragon, and the two ponies all fell to the side and landed on the window, which cracked under their combined weight and caused them to cut themselves on the splintered glass.

“Ow!”

Hayato held up his right hand, now sporting a large cut across his palm.

“Damn it...”

“Come on,” Shining Armor urged, already climbing back onto his hooves, “We need to get out.”

***

“No, no, no, this is way too stupid,” Rainbow said, facehoofing at the figure above them.

High above them, sitting down on his skull throne and looking down his nose at them, was the new leader of the Democratic Ponies’ Republic of Kaprea, President Captain. He was still wearing his signature pirate hat, but also a steel cast crown on top of it, with razor sharp points. He had even obtained a large red cape with gold trim, and the most massive collar ever conceived.

“You may approach the president,” Whiplash said cordially.

Both having wings, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash just flew up so that they were level with the president’s balcony and skull throne.

“Okay listen here...” Rainbow Dash started, but was cut off by Fluttershy.

“Um, Rainbow, perhaps I should talk to him? You seem a tad...worked up...”

“You know what? Go ahead, because don’t think my brain can handle this right now.”

“Excuse me, Mr. President, my name is Fluttershy,” she said, feeling more comfortable than she thought she would speaking to the novice dictator, “I am here on behalf of Equestria to invite you to meet with Celestia and Luna. They want you to come to their palace in Canterlot, because your...master...Mr. Hayato, asked if you could come too while he visits. Um, that is, if you behave yourself while you’re there...”

Captain scratched the underneath of his chin. The kappa looked to his left. There, he saw an imaginary version of his master, dressed in red and with devil horns and carrying a pitchfork.

“Go! Go Captain, my loyal friend! Gain their trust, sneak into Canterlot, and wreck all the fancy stuff there too!”

Captain looked to his right, at another version of master with white clothes and a halo and wings this time.

“That is a good idea, Captain,” he agreed, “Go to Canterlot and destroy all the fancy stuff.”

The two hallucinations disappeared, and the kappa turned his attention back to Fluttershy, and gave her a solemn nod in response. She smiled.

A nearby servant approached Captain.

“Sire, shall we ready your carriage for transport?”

Captain closed his eyes and pointed his nose up in the air like a Canterlot noble. He clapped his webbed hands twice in quick succession, and four ponies walking in formation with a big red cushion on their backs emerged from within the tower, out onto the balcony.

Down below, Whiplash began barking orders.

“Prepare the president’s air carriage!”

***

Hayato groaned as he pulled himself out of the wreckage, the last one out. His exit from the vehicle was as graceful as the rest of his day had been, in that he fell flat onto his face, accidentally swallowing some sand.

Well at least I finally get to eat something...

He went to push himself up and noticed something odd. The cut on his hand was gone.

“Huh...” he said to himself, staring at it, “Well that was weird.”

“Not as weird as things are about to get,” said a voice with an upper class English accent.

Looking up, Hayato saw something that at this point did not surprise him at all. A giant spider.

Behind the spider, Spike, Shining Armor, Operative Gilda and the other guard pony were all being restrained by a number of other spiders, who were putting cuffs on Spike, wing clips and what looked like oven mitts on Gilda, and reigns and a metal horn ring on Shining and the other guard.

”Not really. You guys are pretty much par for the course at this point...”

“Oh, that’s good, because you’re all officially slaves of the Spider Legion now.”

Hayato sighed.

“Well that’s just wonderful...”

END.

Author's Note

If this theme worked for The Walking Dead, it’ll work for me here.

Starting off I am going to give a big thank you to DannyJ, who made this release possible, and is also a very handsome man. I had a lot of stuff happen in my life that left me without internet access, let alone the time to actually sit down and write the chapter. While I am not out of the woods yet on things, I am happy I was able to actually get this chapter out there.

Go ahead and leave your comments, because I love reading them. It lets me get a good idea of how I am doing with the story.

Also, if you’re noticing inconsistencies in Luna’s speech patterns, that’s not a mistake. That’s intentional. She’s in a transitional period.

Editor's notes:

DRAVEN, WHY WON’T YOU RETURN MY CALLS? WHAT ABOUT OUR CHILD? WHERE DO YOU GO AT NIGHTS? YOU’RE OFF WITH ALL YOUR FRIENDS AT THAT LEAGUE AGAIN, AREN'T YOU?!

Next Chapter: Vive la révolution!

Chapter 6: "Free will is a lie."

“And the Spider Legion made their first mistake, in not recognising who their prisoner was, and provoking the human. Vengeance was swift and brutal, but even after the dust had settled and the Legion had suffered its loss, they still had not yet seen the full brunt of a human’s wrath. Even as they laid dying in the sand, the remaining spiders still could not have even conceived of what unholy retribution would be visited upon them. In their future was scorched earth, and the screams of their children.”

-How the Spider Legion Died, from the Brotherhood of Man’s holy book A Darker World.

***

“Hey, Shining?”

“What is it?” Shining Armor responded with a sigh.

“You guys beat the last two humans and a bunch of other bad guys, right?”

“Yes... Why?”

“Then how the hell did this happen?” Hayato asked.

As much as he would love to have a witty comment prepared, Shining Armor had nothing he could say. The survivors of the assault found themselves bound in chains, being led through the desert by a rather happy group of spiders. Gilda and Spike were directly behind them, and there were dozens, possibly hundreds of captured royal guards both ahead of and behind them too, marching in a line.

“Silence, slaves. You are going to need all of your energy when we arrive,” one of the guards informed them.

“Hey, uhhhh, spider... things... What exactly are we going to be doing anyways?”

“You are going to break your backs with hard labor, in service to the glory that is the Spider Legion. Then, when you are of no further use, you will get the privilege of dying for its glory as well. Your actions will help build the basis of an empire that will stretch to the setting sun, and when our people rule again, the sacrifices of slaves like yourselves shall be remembered, and honoured.”

“Glory my....” Shining Armor mumbled.

“Oh, I’m sorry, does the slave have something to say? Go ahead, slave! I could use a laugh!“

Between the heat of the desert and dealing with Hayato, Shining Armor’s patience had swiftly deteriorated. He was able to remain calm being taken prisoner by his most hated enemies. He had even kept his temper as they added the magic restraining bolt that was now fitted around the base of his horn. But when the spider began talking about their so-called glory, that was it.

“You know what? I think I do! You talk about the Legion’s glory, but I remember nothing but a bunch of barbarians whose false elements were shattered, and whose army was crushed by the might of the Equestrian military. So please, tell me where this glory is, because I haven’t seen it!”

“It’s the glory to be found in the massacre of arrogant ponies, who think that just because there’s less of us and we lost one weapon, that we aren’t still a threat. Believe what you want, captain, but our war is far from over.”

“You’re wrong. The war was over ages ago. All this is, is cleaning up the mess left behind. You think killing a few dozen ponies will change anything? It will only serve to make the rest of the country angrier. And we already crushed the rest of your army, and your leaders! You aren’t the Spider Legion! You’re the remnants!”

The spider snarled at Shining Armor and slammed the pole of the spear into his side, knocking him to the ground. He leapt on him and proceeded to beat him repeatedly until one of the other guards intervened.

“Ignore the mouthy one,” said one of the senior legionnaires. “He will learn his place in time. All of Equestria will. Besides, it will be be that much more enjoyable when we break this one. Perhaps we might be able to keep it alive, and let it watch as we burn their capital.”

All throughout Hayato stood to the side, disturbed by the brutality, but decidedly not interfering.

“Hmmm. Yes, that does sound so much better... Do you hear that, pony? You get to watch your precious cities burn; such an honor you are being given.”

Shining coughed as he pulled himself onto his hooves again.

“You didn’t intimidate me when you actually had the firepower to back up that threat, and you certainly don’t intimidate me now.”

“Oh, we don’t need to intimidate you, captain. We care not for trying to destroy our enemies with words. Those are the weapons of ponies, and other cowards. Actions are what count. Like the things we can do to your loved ones. What about your pretty wife? Oh yes, we know all about her. The Legion’s scouts are everywhere. Or even your child? What’s her name? Neptune?”

Shining Armor’s blood ran cold.

“What’s your name?”

His tormentor seemed confused.

“Legionnaire Marianus. Why?”

“I want a name, so that I can find you later, when I’m free again, and hunt you down. Because I’m going to kill you.”

Marianus, not being the kind to take threats lightly, began to rain more blows down on Shining Armor, beating him to the floor again.

And still, Hayato stood by and did nothing.

“Come on!” Marianus shouted at the others. “Don’t stand there gawking, keep moving!”

The rest of the spiders and captives all continued their marching. Shining Armor was forced back up again and resumed trudging along reluctantly, though now winded.

“Thanks for all your help there, human...” he muttered.

“What was I supposed to do? I’m in chains too.”

“Last time we put you in chains, you sculpted a gargoyle out of the metal! Don’t you stand there and tell me you couldn’t have done anything!”

“I’m sorry, but apparently the spiders actually use real metal to make their chains. Shocking, I know.”

“That stuff WAS real metal! Why didn’t you even ATTEMPT to help me?!”

“Because I despise you,” Hayato said in no uncertain terms.

“Well at least you are honest about something.”

“I know right? It’s a shame that only makes one of us.”

“Why don’t you two just fuck already?” asked Gilda.

Spike stumbled, and nearly tripped over.

“I’ve got a question,” said Hayato. “Why are you the only one I’ve met so far that actually swears?”

“Probably because most griffins don’t care who they offend, and don’t faint when hearing them? Seriously, ponies actually use the word ‘bucking’ as a swear. I feel like I’m in kindergarten sometimes. I at least expected fellow soldiers to be less soft.”

Shining Armor rolled his eyes.

“All the creatures in this world, and the most relatable are bird-lion hybrids,” Hayato mused. “Something is wrong with my life.”

“Actually, if you think about it, the way they use bucking really changes the meaning of apple bucking season.”

Shining Armor groaned while the other three began to laugh.

“You know,” Hayato said to Spike and Gilda, “with you two around, I think this is going to be the best enslavement ever!”

***

Four ponies sat around a table as they waited on their food. It had been ten minutes since they had finished speaking with the princesses, and Abstract was feeling much better now that he was no longer in their proximity. This was quickly picked up on by Fleetfoot, who scooted closer to him.

“Glad to see you finally turned that frown upside down!”

“Hey, Echo, how would you like to fly right now?” the unicorn asked innocently.

“I would love to, but the doc says I can’t fly for the rest of the day, or else I risk messing up my wings.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I know a way to make you fly without using your wings!”

“Really? How can I do that?” she asked excitedly.

“Ruin my good mood, and you will find out.”

Fleetfoot looked at him for a second, before laughing and nudging him with her forehoof.

“You are such a kidder, Abstract! That’s what I love about you!”

“Yes... kidding...”

Bon Bon and Lyra exchanged a worried look.

“So Fleetfoot, how was....” Bon Bon began, but was cut off by the high pitched shriek of a siren that began blasting through the street.

All of the ponies in the restaurant covered their ears as the siren went off.

“WHAT IS THAT NOISE?” shouted Lyra over its wailing.

“THAT’S THE ALARM THAT SOUNDS WHEN SHIPS OR FLYING CREATURES ENTER UNAUTHORIZED AIRSPACE!” Bon Bon shouted back.

“HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT!?”

“LET’S JUST GO SEE WHAT’S HAPPENING!”

The others nodded, and began to make their way outside. Luckily for them, Abstract knew a sound dampening spell, and used it to cover their heads in a protective aura to prevent further damage to their eardrums.

They all looked up in the sky, and saw a sleek blue airship flying in the sky above the restaurant. It seemed like it was struggling to move, and came close to clipping a couple of buildings. Up on the edge, they saw a pony waving down, before lowering a rope-bound lift platform from the airship’s gondola.

Abstract glared up at him.

I’m going to kill him. I swear I am going to kill him and mount his head on my wall.

All four of them immediately boarded the lift, and it quickly rose up to meet the waving pony. Once it was level, Abstract tackled the startled Fancy Pants.
“Are you insane!? What in Tartarus are you doing bringing the ship into restricted airspace?!”

“Ah, you see, I thought I would try my hoof at piloting a ship myself, seeing as I find myself down a pilot since that... tragedy... that I don’t like to think about...”

“There is a reason they make ponies take tests to fly these things!”

“Well I certainly see the problem now... Oh dear, is that the Artemis?”

Abstract turned around and saw the Equestrian flagship moving closer to them. Once their ship was within firing range, the siren was cut, and a mare spoke to them through a megaphone.

“Attention, vessel! You are in restricted airspace! Move your ship or we will open fire, under the powers granted by War Authority Bill. You have five minutes to comply.“

“Fleetfoot, you know how to fly one of these things, right?”

“Implying that being a Wonderbolt automatically means I know about piloting. Wing flying and aircraft flying couldn’t be any more different. These are earth pony and unicorn inventions! If anything, your average pegasus is less likely to know how to fly an airship.”

Bon Bon rolled her eyes.

“I can pilot it,” she said, stepping up to the wheel.

“Again, how do you know these things?” Lyra asked, baffled.

“You have your hobbies, and I have mine,” she replied with a shrug.

Bon Bon began to spin the wheel carefully, making sure not to smash any of the buildings as Fancy Pants had come so close to doing. She ignored Lyra’s stares and kept her gaze focused. Coming from the Artemis, several pegasi were making their way over with weapons.

“Fleetfoot, be a dear and greet those soldiers.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll get right on that.”

Five pegasi hovered just outside the gondola of the Athena. The door opened to admit them entrance, and they flew in and landed. All of them except one had their weapons drawn and trained on them.

“We demand to see the owner of this aircraft.”

“That would be me, ladies,” Fleetfoot said, approaching the group.

The leader lowered her weapon slightly.

“State your name and profession.”

“Echo Fleetfoot. Wonderbolt, war hero, stunt flier, all around amazing pony. I’m sure you’ve heard of me.”

“Don’t forget ‘full of yourself’,” Abstract muttered.

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, it’s Fleetfoot you guys!” squealed one of the soldiers, dropping her spear and clapping her forehooves together.

“Calm yourself, soldier,” the squad leader chastised.

“Don’t blame her; I have that effect on ponies,” Fleetfoot replied, shooting a wink at her fan.

The soldier made a strange squealing sort of sound and trotted on the spot.

“I’m sure... Anyways, I have to request you move your ship out of this airspace, ma’am. It does not have authorization, and these airzone laws are strictly enforced. Given who you are, I’m sure you understand why.”

“Oh, sure. My pilot got a little overzealous when he came to pick me up, and missed the docking station completely. I will make sure it won’t happen again.”

“I will let you go with a warning this time. This happens again, you’re getting an arrest and a court appearance, war hero or not. Understand?”

“Clear as day, ma’am. We seem to have have properly turned around, and shall be moving into legal airspace momentarily.”

“Very well. Let’s go, soldiers.”

All of the pegasi took to the air, save for one.

“Uhm, Ms. Fleetfoot, can I get your autograph? I am a huge fan.”

Fleetfoot reached back into her saddlebags and pulled out a quill and ink, which she apparently carried exactly for this kind of situation, and signed a pair of goggles the mare provided.

“There you go,” she said, tossing the goggles to the mare. “Enjoy!”

The moment she caught them with her mouth, the other pegasus looked like she was about to faint on the spot.

“T-thank you so much! I can’t wait to see your next show! I gotta get going. Bye!”

It took the ship ten minutes to move safely into the free flying zone, which the Artemis was kind enough to escort them out of, but to the relief of all, they left without issue.

Fancy Pants was especially relieved, as he now didn’t have to have to explain to Cid why the ship he got just hours ago already needed to be repaired, or worse, buy an entire new ship from him for the second time in a day.

He really didn’t want to give him any more ammunition.

“So yeah, you owe me big time,” Fleetfoot taunted.

And that just made the stallion nervous again; owing Fleetfoot a favor was not a situation you would want to find yourself in.

Afterwards, the Brotherhood all moved into the ship’s dedicated dining area, intended for formal meetings. It was an elegantly designed space, with a mahogany wooden table, crimson red wallpaper and mocks of famous paintings adorning the wall. It was intentionally invoking the same atmosphere as the mansions that most of Cid’s customers lived in.

He had definitely been right about not skimping out on the fineries. The Equestrian military must have had some nice warships.

“Alright, so why don’t we start by sharing what we’ve all learned?” Lyra suggested as she took her seat. “Echo?”

“Sure. The most important thing is, Lord Third has agreed to keep the Brotherhood a secret. When he was being interrogated, he told convincing enough lies to protect all of us. It was so noble!”

“This is very good news,” said Fancy Pants. “At least we don’t have to deal with any public scandal on top of all our other unneeded problems.”

“We heard your teammate, Rainbow Dash was there,” Abstract Theory commented. “Did you get any chance to speak with her? We need to know how the element bearers view Lord Third.”

“Ah, yes... Rainbow...”

“That doesn’t sound good...”

“Well, I can’t speak for the others, but Rainbow hates Lord Third. She’s quite adamant about it too. I did my best to convince her otherwise, but no luck there. Though, that was before she actually spoke with him herself, so who knows? Maybe he changed her mind. I'll keep trying to convince her too; I’m sure she’ll come around once her friends do.”

“Well I certainly hope so,” Fancy Pants agreed. “Our lord shouldn’t have to deal with undue hostilities... Echo, what has you so giddy over there?”

Now that Fancy Pants had pointed it out, they all saw that Fleetfoot was barely able to stay still. They had only seen her this excited very few times.

“I knew I should save this for last in case any of us had bad news, but I just have to share it with you. I was talking to Rainbow Dash on the ship and it turned out Lord Third shared his name with them. His true name.”

“Wait, what!? You actually know Lord Third’s name?!” Fancy Pants exclaimed as his monocle popped out.

“Oh yeah, Princess Celestia called him ‘Mr. Midō’ when we saw her earlier,” said Lyra.

“You know too?! When were you planning on telling me?” he huffed, feeling rather left out.

“Right now, you big foal. Patience is a virtue you know,” tutted Fleetfoot.

“Ahem. Quite right. My apologies, dear.”

“Lord Third’s first name is Hayato. Which makes his full name Hayato Midō, I think. Unless there’s a middle name we’re missing?”

“Middle name or not, that’s a weird-sounding name...” Bon Bon said, earning herself a whack on the back of her head from Lyra.

“Don’t insult Lord Hayato’s name!” snapped Lyra. “This is so great! We are learning so much about him, and humans. I should start a book to record it all in. Then one day I can get the book published and show all of the good he does!”

“What bothers me about this,” Abstract began, “is that Lord Third revealed his name the princesses, but not to us, his loyal followers...”

“What are you trying to say, Abstract?” Fancy Pants asked.

“I think he may have lied to them. The name he gave them might not have been real.”

“What would give you that idea, m’boy? What reason would he have to hide his name?”

“To gain their trust of course,” Abstract said, a grin spreading across his face. “Lords First and Second never revealed their names, and made it appear as they had something to hide. Giving them a name makes them think he is with them, and I would have to say it has worked. Besides, recall the power that human words apparently hold. Lord Second always claimed that he could have destroyed all of pony civilization by speaking a set of forbidden words. Perhaps that’s why they never speak their true names? Maybe their names are dangerous?”

“What do you mean it worked?” Fancy pressed.

“They have invited him into the palace...”

“What?! But I thought he was imprisoned!”

“Oh, he was,” Fleetfoot said casually. “They let him out. He’s on his way to Canterlot right now probably.”

“I say, this is all rather sudden! They not only freed him, but invited him into their halls? First and Second had to break in to gain entrance!”

“Well, maybe the princesses learned their lesson?” Lyra suggested.

“Doubtful, Lyra,” Abstract answered. “You were there; they’re only doing this to cover their own flanks. They went looking for war, but found peace instead. They didn’t have any excuses to hide behind this time. They couldn’t just do away with him ‘for the sake of Equestria’ like they did the last two.”

“Oh dear, that does make a terrible bit of sense,” Fancy said. “The elite do something similar when they try political or financial takeovers. Blueblood did stuff like that all the time. I must say, he has gotten better at it as of late, too.”

“Oh yes, speaking of that stallion, if you can call him that...” Bon Bon began.

Both Abstract and Lyra groaned. All of them had walked away from the encounter with Blueblood feeling that their lives had become shorter and the world bleaker from it. This was also Fancy Pants’ cue to produce a bottle of wine and glasses, and start pouring some for himself. It was a necessity in these kinds of conversations.

“I see... I take it you were able to speak with his, uh, majesty?” he asked.

He finished pouring Lyra’s glass and slid it over to her with magic. She immediately downed the whole thing and then slammed it back on the table.

“SIX CHILDREN!” she exclaimed. “It’s like some dark force is determined to see this country suffer! And don’t even get me started on his wife!”

“Blueblood got married? I heard nothing of the sort.”

“Oh she wasn’t that bad, Lyra. Snooki was... sweet, albeit a little dense.”

“A little?! Bon Bon, she named her foal Sleeping Pill!”

Fancy Pants began to choke on his own wine at that point.

“Oh, it isn’t too bad. Probably the way the foal was conceived. You have to appreciate the symmetry of it.”

“Abstract!”

“Wait,” Fancy Pants interrupted. “Snooki? As in Baron Fine Wine’s daughter? The one who went crazy a few years back and dyed her coat orange?”

Abstract didn’t even bother replying to this, he was too busy laughing on the floor.

“...She’s the daughter of a wealthy baron?” Lyra asked. “Really?”

“Well, he was wealthy. Before he had to pay for her rehab...”

“Oh...”

“But his business is still worth a good amount to some, even if he won’t sell. His daughter will likely inherit it... Come to think of it, this goes a long way to explaining Blueblood getting involved with her...”

“You know what?” Fleetfoot said. “You really need to start sticking with the group, Fancy. You keep missing all the good stuff.”

“Clearly.”

***

Shooting Star blinked his eyes a few times at the sight before him. Approaching the gates of the castle was a number of well armed, leather-clad ponies. While that was strange in its own right, considering where leather came from and social attitudes to that, the strangeness was compounded when he saw that they were carrying a very extravagantly dressed kappa on a large red velvet pillow.

“Either I need to stop pulling double duty, or this is really happening. Tell me this isn’t really happening?” he pleaded to his fellow guard.

“It’s happening... Just get ready for any trouble.”

The orderly procession made its way to the gates and halted. A yellow mare with a green mohawk marched forwards alone and stood before the soldiers.

“The magnificent ruler of Kaprea, his majesty President Captain, has arrived! Prepare your finest accommodations!”

The two guards just stared at her, their mouths agape. She looked back as the kappa on the pillow began to make several motions and gestures with its little webbed hands. After it was done, the mare nodded and turned back to the soldiers.

“The president wishes that you bring forth the Allfather, so that they may be reunited. This is non-negotiable.”

“The, uh... who?”

“Can you bring your superior out here? Perhaps one that can speak proper Equestrian perhaps? Or even better, is fluent in the president’s native Kaprean dialect?”

The two guards just looked at each other, confused. They had never even heard of Kaprea before.

“Yeah, let me get a professional in here...” Shooting Star said.

Five minutes and one very confusing conversation later, the guard returned, flanked by more soldiers and four of the Elements of Harmony. Upon seeing the strange assembly of ponies, Twilight was the first to speak.

“What the hay is going on here?”

“Must I really go over this again?” Whiplash asked. “Fine. His majesty, President Captain, ruler of Kaprea, was invited by your Princess Celestia to hold a diplomatic meeting. The fact that your greetings have been subpar is really beginning to come off as disrespectful. That is not something you want to make the mistake of doing.”

“I’m sorry, but I’ve never heard of Kaprea before. Might I ask where it’s located?”

“Kaprea was founded on the ashes of the ancient city of Hoofington. From there, we expanded greatly, into the forests beyond its borders...”

“Ancient city? What are you talking about? Hoofington isn’t ancient. I was there last week watching Dash and the Wonderbolts perform!”

“What is with all you mares living in the past? You need to start living in the now! Get with the times! The old regime is over! We’re the children of the revolution! Anarchy rules! Fuck the system!”

Behind her, Captain cleared his throat.

“Uh, except for the Kaprean system! It’s really nice and full of hope...”

This mare seems really familiar...

“...Have we met before?”

“A lifetime ago, Twilight Sparkle...”

“Wait a minute... Roseluck, is that you? What happened to your mane? And your coat? And your... everything?”

“That was my slave name! The name is Whiplash, ignorant Equestrian! You would do well to remember that.“

Twilight looked to her friends for help; she had never dealt with a pony like this before.

“Step aside, dear. Let Rarity handle this. I have a great deal more experience spending time with the elite.”

The other unicorn moved to the front of the crowd to address Captain and his entourage.

“I hope you plan on treating the president much better than your friends have,” Whiplash warned.

“Oh yes, of course! I am terribly sorry, your majesty, but dear Twilight has trouble changing with the times. I however see just pure radiance emanating from you. Truly you must be a fabulous leader!”

Captain nodded at this and made a series of hand signals towards Whiplash.

“The president is curious if you have the offering then?” she interpreted.

“I’m sorry, offering?”

“It is customary for a visiting ruler to be presented with a gift. If one of your princesses were to visit Kaprea, they would be extended the same courtesy, so where is it?”

“Ah yes, let me go get one now,” Rarity said, sweat beads forming on her forehead.

Rarity walked back to her friends, trying not to panic. How was she expected to have known about the customs of a country she had never heard of? Nevertheless, she was going to get him the gift.

“Girls. Do any of you have a gift that we could present to the president? This is very important.”

All of her friends shook their heads, except for Pinkie who seemed to be rummaging through her mane, which gave Rarity hope.

“Uhh, let’s see,” Pinkie said. “I got a rubber chicken, some yarn, a can of baked beans, a crossword puzzle cut out of a newspaper, the key to the safehouse, spare parts for a generator, the Necroponicon, and... two bits glued together.”

Rarity blinked.

“Pinkie, why do you have two bits glued together?”

“In case one of them gets lost, duh,” Pinkie responded, as though it were obvious.

Rarity just stared at her friend and wondered why she had expected anything logical to come out of her mouth for once. She simply turned back and walked over to the royal procession.

“The gift is not ready, for I... didn’t know his majesty’s measurements yet! That is right, the gift was to be a full wardrobe of fine clothing, fit for a president, but I need his measurements to begin, so it will have to be delayed until later in his visit after I have made them! Is that okay?”

Captain considered this for a few moments and nodded. He made a few gestures to Whiplash to pass along his approval before a loud shout filled the air.

“THERE YOU ARE! What the heck gives, leaving us to deal with that dragon alone!?”

“Rainbow, is that you?” Twilight asked as the ragged looking mare landed on the ground.

“Yeah, that human’s stupid pet left me and Flutters to deal with a dragon while they flew on ahead!”

“Wait, the president is Hayato’s pet?!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Yeah, and he completely took over Hoofington! They call it Kaprea now!”

“...Where is Fluttershy? The dragon didn’t...?”

“Oh no, she’s making it feel better now. She made it cry.”

“This is all fascinating, but the president is famished, and wishes to dine! How much longer do you plan on delaying his majesty’s entrance?!”

“Oh... right. Right this way, Mr. President,” Twilight said uneasily, motioning for the guards to open the door.

Princess Celestia is never going to believe this.

***

The sun was high in the sky by the time the slave camp came into view. Shining Armor’s pain had eased enough that they were finally able to get back up to normal speed.

All of them were completely parched, and were relieved when the spiders dragged them over to a nearby pool of water. At this point, several other legionnaires came along, and started unchaining the long line of slaves. Not entirely though; the captives were just separated into pairs, but it did provide much greater freedom of movement. Gilda and Spike ended up chained together, and through sheer rotten luck, Hayato and Shining were also a pair.

They were ordered to drink, and the guards for the most part left them alone for a moment.

“Thank Celestia they gave us some water. I thought was going to dehydrate out there,” Spike said before dunking his entire head under the pool.

“Save some for the rest of us, shorty,” Gilda said, nudging the dragon aside.

“Huh, I guess you can lead a horse to water and make it drink,” Hayato said with a dry laugh.

Shining Armor just rolled his eyes; he was too thirsty and sore to argue with him right now. Eventually, Hayato joined them and began to gulp down as much water as he could get. It struck him that between the two armies, his slave drivers were treating him better than the ponies had.

Speaking of, several legionnaires had now returned, including a much larger black one who seemed to be the leader.

“So who do we have here?” the black spider said, homing in on the odd four and ignoring the rest. “A griffin, a dragon, a deformed diamond dog, and Captain Shining Armor himself. I must say, I was rather excited when I heard we got you. I think you will make an excellent worker for the Legion.”

He smiled briefly at the captain and backed off, so that he could address the larger body of slaves that had been taken from the royal guard escort.

“Now, all of you! Pay attention! What you will be doing, is digging out a system of tunnels and caverns for our lair, and hopefully in the long term, maybe even find a certain magical artefact said to be buried under these sands. For now though, we’re just scratching the surface. That means you go where we tell you to, and start digging straight down until you’ve got a perfectly round hole, five feet deep. There is a purpose for this, but we’re not obligated to tell you anything we don’t want to, so keep that in mind.

“You will work in pairs, so get used to your partner. You will be with them for the rest of your short, miserable lives. Slaves who behave and do as they’re told will be treated better, sleep longer and eat more. Slaves who disobey will whipped. Slaves who attempt to outright rebel will die. Any questions?”

“Can I trade partners?” Hayato asked. “I am willing to take a rock. Might get more work done with that.”

The spider looked at Hayato for a few moments, before breaking out into a hearty laugh. He said a few things in some foreign language that sounded vaguely like Latin, and threw shovels at the four of them. Each group was surrounded by soldiers and were handed their own shovels, before being herded out into the desert to begin work.

After several minutes of walking, Hayato began to see signs of life. They were at first little specks on the horizon, but as they came closer, he saw that they were also slaves, already digging.

Most were ponies, but there were slaves from many races of creatures, including a few he couldn’t identify. It seemed like there were more workers than there were spiders to guard them. He didn’t have long to look around though, as they had now reached their destination and were ordered to start digging.

Knowing that he was in no real position to fight right now, Shining Armor picked up the shovel in his mouth and began to get to work.

After a few minutes of digging, he noticed that Hayato wasn’t making any headway with his portion of the hole. Looking closer, he saw that he was simply moving around the same pile of dirt and making it look like he was busy. This didn’t last long, as a guard quickly caught on and threatened to whip him if he didn’t start working.

In the interest of not being beaten like his partner had been before, Hayato began to dig the hole properly. Within minutes he doubled the depth that Shining Armor had, and in fact had to stop for a moment so he could catch up to him.

If I were one of these ponies, I would probably have a shovel as my ass tattoo.

He shook his head.

I think the heat is getting to me.

Despite their mutual dislike of each other, Shining and Hayato got into a rhythm and were making surprising progress on their digging. They had completed two holes before many others had completed one. When the guards called for break, they eagerly ran over to the cart where the guards were handing out waterskins to collect theirs.

Soon after, they sat down to rest next to the holes they had dug out, content not to speak to each other any further. They weren’t left alone for long though, as a shadow was cast over them.

Looking up, Hayato saw a trio of diamond dogs standing over him.

Those he remembered, because they were walking David Bowie references. One was big and bulky, one was tall and thin, and one was a midget. All of them wore vests, and had collars around their necks studded with gems.

“Look boys, that the ugliest mutt I have ever seen,” cackled the tall one.

“Haha, yeah. He barely have any fur. What a weirdo!” the big one agreed.

“So what your deal?” asked the third. “You like those weird hairless cats? Because I not know there dog versions of those.”

...What would be the appropriate response here?

“...Yes. I am a Siamese dog,” he answered. “You’ve never heard of us because... because...”

He looked to Shining Armor for help.

“Because they are so hideous, that their breed is dying out,” Shining said, barely holding back a smirk.

“...Not as hideous as ponies though, am I right guys?” Hayato responded.

“HAHAHA! So true!” the tall one agreed.

“Ugly pony!” said the biggest, poking Shining Armor in the ribs.

“You know, these guys are growing on me.”

“What your name, dog?”

“Hayato. Yours?”

“Me Rover,” answered the tall dog that seemed to be the leader. “Big one is Fido. Little one is Spot.”

“I am Shining Armor...”

“No-one cares,” said Hayato.

“Hey now,” the captain said indignantly. “That’s not very-”

“Siamese dog is right! We no care, ugly pony! Shut up!”

“There’s no need to be so hard on him just because he is a pony,” said a voice from behind them.

Hayato and Shining turned around to see another dog approaching. He was taller than Spot, but was also obviously a lot younger than them, possibly a teen by their standards. Cleaner, too. He looked more like Rover than any of the rest of them, but his fur was a slightly lighter shade, and his collar didn’t have any gems studded into it like the other three.

“Quiet, Remus! Big dogs talking! No pups allowed.”

The other dog just rolled his eyes and sat down beside Hayato by the edge of a hole.

“Yes, uncle...”

“Well, Remus,” said Hayato, patting him on the back, “I hate to break it to you, but this pony is a total tool. It’s okay not to like him.”

“How about I introduce a real tool to the back of your head?” mumbled Shining.

“SLACKERS!”

Out of nowhere, an armoured spider landed in the middle of the group and pointed one sword each at all six of them while balancing on two of its back legs.

“BREAK TIME IS OVER!” shouted the spider, while still maintaining his amazing balance. “BACK TO WORK! MOVE IT!”

***

With the airship properly docked in the skyport, the Brotherhood made their way back to the castle. While they were slowed down by the plethora of greetings that Fancy Pants received, they got there just fine.

Once inside, everypony proceeded to spread out across the castle, as not to draw too much attention to themselves. Lyra was on her way to the throne room to find Twilight, and couldn’t help but notice that the guards seemed particularly tense right now. News of Lord Third’s impending arrival must have spread.

She heard a voice call out from behind her.

“Lyra, is that you?”

Turning around, she found exactly the mare she wanted.

“Oh, hello Twilight! I was just looking for you.”

“Not that I’m not happy to see you, but what are you doing here? Are you performing here tonight or something?”

“Oh no, I was actually here to visit you, if you have the time?”

Twilight looked at a nearby clock and nodded.

“Sure, I have some time until our guest arrives. We can chat in the library. It’s right over here,”

Twilight led Lyra down an offshoot hallway. They didn’t talk along the way, save for idle chatter, but they were soon sitting comfortably on some pillows in the corner of the reading area.

“So what was it you were wanting to see me for? I thought we were meeting next week?”

“Well, I heard about the appearance of another human from Abstract, and I wanted to see if there was anything I could do to help.”

“Oh? Well that is very nice of you, Lyra. I certainly wouldn’t mind the help, but... what do you think you could do?”

“Well, I believe that to avoid risking another incident, that it might be better that we try more diplomatic channels. The first step would to be finding something we have in common with the human. I believe that common interest could be music. The others were known for their singing all the time, and I was hoping that perhaps I could play for him, in an attempt to show how alike we are, despite our differences.”

Lyra held her breath after speaking. She wasn’t sure how Twilight was going to react to the proposal. While it was sound idea, she was hoping that Twilight wouldn’t try reading more into it; she was a very perceptive mare.

“Lyra, that’s a wonderful idea!” Twilight exclaimed.

“R-really? You like it?”

“Of course. The more he sees us as friends, the less likely he is to ever be hostile. I’ll arrange it with the princess.”

Lyra released her breath and visibly relaxed, although she did her best to cover it up as the normal elation at her idea being accepted.

“That is wonderful. Although, Twilight... What do you think about the human? Have you met him yet?”

“Honestly, I am really curious about him. We know next to nothing about humans, and out of all the ones to arrive, this one seems the nicest. Granted, he and my brother don’t get along, but I think that’s just because he arrested him.”

“I imagine that wouldn’t make them particularly fond of each other...”

“Yeah, but I’m daring to hope with this one. I think Hayato may be the bridge we need between our two species. If there are more humans wherever he came from, this could be our chance to develop a peaceful coexistence.”

She was surprised by Twilight’s views and attitudes. She was right in the thick of it during the last human incident, and that would give anypony a reason to be wary of more humans. Yet she was keeping a surprisingly open mind. This was good news, considering she already knew Rainbow Dash’s disposition was not a favorable one.

“What about your friends? The other five Elements, that is? What do they think about him?”

“Rarity is pretty interested in him, like me. Or rather she’s curious about his clothing, but it’s something. Pinkie Pie wants to be his friend, no surprise there. Applejack and Rainbow Dash don’t trust him at all, although in Rainbow’s case she actively despises him, while Applejack is at least willing to be proven wrong. And Fluttershy is afraid of him, but again, no surprise.”

“Poor Fluttershy... I thought she was getting better with those self help courses? I’m pretty sure I saw her talk to somepony when you took her to see one of my shows.”

“Yeah, that stallion she talked to about bees. I think his name was Sherclop or something. But I guess the last two humans left a strong impression on her. I don’t think she spoke up the entire time, she just hid behind Princess Celestia. I haven’t seen her in full-on ‘shy and hiding behind ponies’ mode for years now.”

“So what was it like, meeting the human?”

“He was cooperative, if a tad irritable, but I think that’s just because he had a really trying day. First he was chased by a mob, then he was chained up in the desert, and he was also really hungry; a point he wasn’t afraid to make known.”

“Didn’t he ever get any food? Surely it couldn’t be that difficult. What does a human even eat anyways?”

“He wanted a burger... as in meat.”

Lyra blanched at the thought, but she refused to judge her lord for his dietary habits. After all, he wasn’t the only being who dined on meat. Though she wouldn’t have expected it of him.

“That sounds... um... nice?” Lyra said, trying not to picture it.

Twilight on the other hoof was not as bothered by the fact that humans ate meat. Years of dining with foreign dignitaries had thickened her skin to the culinary ways of others.
“It’s not so bad once you get used to it.”

“YOU’VE EATEN MEAT!?” Lyra exclaimed, earning her a glare from the librarian at the desk.

Twilight realized her mistake at once and began to backpedal.

“No, no, no, no, I meant being around others that eat meat. Sweet Celestia, I don’t think I could ever do that, even if it meant starving.”

“You about gave me a heart attack.”

“Heh, sorry about that. Although I have to admit, a part of me has always been a little bit curious about it.”

“That is so morbid, Twilight,” she said before adopting sly smirk “Although if you’re so curious, I’m pretty sure you could find a guard or two who would be willing to show you.”

“I don’t see how a guard would...” Twilight began before realization washed over her.

Her face flushed and started she started to stammer.

" I'm sure it wouldn't take much for you to have them ‘standing at attention’," she said with a wiggle of her eyebrows.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Twilight shouted as she began to assault her friend with a large pillow.

***

Deciding they liked their limbs where they were, everybody returned to work to continue where they left off. Hayato watched as Remus waved, before disappearing from view into a neighbouring hole.

The sword wielding spider seemed to have taken a liking to Hayato, as it stayed by their work site to berate him on every single thing he did, much to Shining’s amusement.

Eventually, the spider got bored with harassing Hayato and walked away, leaving the two alone once more. Hayato watched as the sun shot through the sky like a hand on a clock moving forward. Even in this world, that couldn’t have been normal. It was almost like Celestia was trying to screw with somebody.

After working for another twenty minutes, Hayato was beginning to get bored. After quickly finishing his digging for that hole, he climbed up out of it and he and Shining moved over to a new location right next to Spike and Gilda’s hole to get to work on the next. They too finished their hole and began to start on another.

And then, without warning, Spike began to use his shovel as a microphone to sing in a voice that sounded nothing like how he usually did.

♪“You've got to go and dig those holes...
With broken hands and withered soles,
emancipated from all you know...
you've got to go and dig those holes...”♪

Piano music, and soon after other instruments too, began playing. Where they came from, Hayato had not the slightest clue. He was aware of the show’s tendency to break out into random songs, but he assumed that nothing like that actually happened in this world, considering how real it had seemed until now.

All around him, more slaves were popping out of holes and joined in with the chorus, which was just chanting “Dig it, uh, oh, oh, dig it,” over and over.

What happened next was strange. One minute Hayato was standing there, dumbfounded by the sight of so many ponies singing in unison when all reason said that just didn’t happen in real life, and then he was somehow joining in with his own lyrics.

♪”With two chains, two cuffs on hand,
I got no respect cuz I'm the new man,
Got my shovel,
shoes full of sand,
Check out the tag, the name is Human.”♪

Free will is a lie. Hayato knew that now. As the chorus picked up once more and his verse was over, Hayato dropped to his knees, holding his throat. Shining swung his head to the rhythm and watched in amusement as Hayato suffered through his first spontaneous song, a rather common occurrence in Equestria.

Shining could feel the next solo well up inside him and got into a good singing position.

♪“Take a bad boy and make him dig five feet,
The dirt in these shovels will give us a beat,
Okay, you've gotta build somethin' never seen before,
If not, we'll just have to dig some more”♪

Hayato scrambled around, trying to feel if he was going to lose control again. It wasn’t that he minded singing, but he liked to do it on his terms, especially because his voice had very little range and there were only a few musicians he could passably imitate without looking stupid.

This was incredibly strange to see though. Hayato looked around at all the other slaves, and wondered how it was that they all knew the lyrics and were able to to so perfectly choreograph it. Sure, this was a cartoon world, but so far it had also seemed to have its own set of internally consistent rules, and its own set of logic and physical laws, unlike a cartoon.

The presence of porn in this world was a pretty clear indicator that it existed independently of whatever was seen on the show, unless it had become an adult comedy overnight and nobody told him, but this seemed to put a hole in that theory, no pun intended.

In the distance he could see the Remus and the other diamond dogs begin to dance as Remus’s verse began.

♪“Your paws may blister,
your muscles stay sore,
You wanna break?
Knock on the warden’s door.
Uh huh...”♪

The verses were the only distraction. Every time the chorus was repeated, Hayato unconsciously tuned it out and went back to his existential pondering, and every time he did, he kept feeling more and more like he was in some cosmic horror story. His own insignificance and powerlessness was being shoved in his face.

An unknown diamond dog took the initiative to sing the next verse, with questionable ability.

♪“A-R-M-P-I-to-the-T,
What is that you smellin’, dog? Thats me,
I don't take showers and I don't brush my teeth,
cuz all I do is dig holes, eat and sleep”♪

Shining Armor followed up, still taking perverse joy in Hayato’s state.

♪“There is no lake,
There is no shade,
There is no place to hide,
So just sit and wait to fry”♪

With more smooth singing from Spike, the song began to move into its final phase. After another round of the chorus, and indeed over the chorus as well, all the singers who had gotten their own verses repeated individual lines. This unfortunately included Hayato, who also found control of his voice stolen from him again between Shining’s parts.

Remus got in another original verse for whatever reason, which he then repeated immediately after, or more like a pair of original lines he repeated once to form a single verse that he did not repeat, and it was followed up by more jazz voice Spike, but that fortunately seemed to be the end of it.

The chorus was repeating several times, but the song was also subtly beginning to wind down, the instruments ever so slowly fading away and the singers’ voices all losing volume until they were mere mumbles. All of this took something in the range of half a minute, after which it seemed to be officially over.

Everyone immediately returned to work as if nothing had happened. Even the spiders didn’t seem to have minded the temporary break for the song. No-one even remarked on it. Hayato continued to just stand in place and stare around him at the diligently working slaves, all hard at work digging out holes for the spiders’ lair.

What the actual fuck is going on here?

***

Celestia sat upon her throne with a neutral look upon her face. It was a practiced one, gained from over a millenia of dealing with unexpected weirdness. However, while things were all calm on the surface, her mind was a different story.

It was true that not many things surprised her nowadays, but the news that an entire town had been taken over by a single kappa was definitely worthy of that reaction.

Mere moments ago, Twilight had told herself and Luna that Hoofington had been reformed into the Democratic Ponies' Republic of Kaprea. Instead of dealing with a dangerous pet, she now found herself preparing to meet with a foreign dignitary, whose country was an Equestrian city that he had somehow usurped not only without her or her sister’s notice, but also completely by himself.

The awkward levels were right up there with that one time she turned up to a banquet hosted by the griffin royal family, and found herself sat next to the leader of a rival nation that Equestria was at war with at the time.

Although she knew that it wouldn’t be a major problem to retake the town, as Equestria had a legitimate military whereas Kaprea only had a bunch of brainwashed citizens who thought they were characters in Mad Mare, this was still definitely cause for concern. She really hoped that Hayato didn’t have anything to do with this.

For now, she was prepared to go with the flow and treat this like she would any other foreign relations meeting, no matter how absurd the whole premise was. Off to her side, she noticed that Luna could barely restrain her giggling. She wasn’t taking this even slightly seriously.

Celestia had to shoot her a quick glare to silence her when the trumpets began to blast to announce Captain’s entrance.

“Now presenting, his majesty President Captain of the Democratic Ponies' Republic of Kaprea!”

Flanked by several leather and metal clad ponies and being carried on a massive pillow was the source of all this ridiculousness, the kappa. His escorts seemed to be fiercely loyal, as they kept a tight formation, so that there was no opening to get at the beast.

Celestia looked over at her sister, who was now doing an admirable job of keeping her face straight. From behind her appeared Abstract Theory, who couldn’t possibly have resisted the opportunity to see this first hoof.

“Greetings, President Captain. I am Princess Celestia. I’m glad you were able to make it here on such short notice.”

She watched in interest as the creature made several signs towards one of his guards, who turned to address them.

“The president is curious as to why he was requested here at all. And he also desires to know why the Allfather is not present at this meeting.”

“Who is this ‘Allfather’?” Luna asked in confusion.

“Oh, I forgot. We are dealing with heretics,” Whiplash snorted.

The guards took a step towards the band of ponies, before Celestia motioned for them to calm themselves and return to their positions. While she was not fond of being insulted in her own home, she needed to know where the pony was going with this.

“You unenlightened address him as the Third, which is disrespectful to our lord.”

Abstract’s eyes widened at the revelation, and a smile spread across his face. Granted, it should have been obvious, but it was still hard to wrap his mind around what he had just heard. The town that had ostracized his lord previously had somehow seen the light in his absence, and had formed a religion around him. This was the best day ever.

“Wait, you mean to tell me that you all worship the human?!” Luna exclaimed.

Unlike her sister, Luna was not as practiced at containing her emotions, especially surprise. And anger.

“Of course we do. The Church of Three is a righteous faith, with loyal believers.”

Abstract meanwhile was positively ecstatic.

Oh my gods, this has got to be the best news I’ve heard all day. The Brotherhood needs to know about this! To think, that there would be an entire town full of believers that would appear like this!

He looked over to the princesses, both seeming to be just as shocked as he was, though far less happy about it. He was going to take complete advantage of this situation while the opportunity was still there.

“Well I, for one, wish to partake in rightful worship of our true master,” Abstract announced. “How might I go about joining your religion, my good mare?”

It became eerily silent save for a very loud gasp that came from the left of Luna. Off to the side one of the guards blushed and mumbled an apology. Knowing he had to do this perfectly to avoid being hunted later, Abstract looked back to both of the princesses and gave them an exaggerated wink. A slight smile tugged at the corner of Celestia’s face as she thought she realized what was going on.

“Oh, no!” she responded, her acting surprisingly bad. “Whatever are you doing, Abstract?! This is completely unexpected!”

Joke’s on you. I’m betraying you for real.

“Too long have I sat under your oppressive reign, watching as you ran this country in folly! Now that my true lord has arrived, I am going to take my place at his side!” he declared boldly, moving over to stand by Captain.

“THOU UNGRATEFUL BITCH! HOW DARE THEE BETRAY THE TRUST OF NOT ONLY OUR SISTER, BUT EQUESTRIA! GUARDS, SEIZE THE TRAITOR, NOW!”

“Luna, you’re slipping into Old Equish again. Breathe.”

“NAY SISTER, I SHALL NOT SUFFER THE PRESENCE OF THE WORM ANY LONGER! DO NOT BE GENTLE, GUARDS!”

Abstract did not let up though.

“Oh, are you sure that you want to attack one of the emissaries of Kaprea? Simply because he chose to worship their true lord? Surely that will go over well.”

Luna was fuming. She was prepared to strike him down herself, if it weren’t for the fact that Celestia placed a hoof on her shoulder, which drew her attention.

“Calm yourself sister! While this betrayal stings my very soul, we cannot risk war with our neighbors! Especially with our budding friendship with Hayato! Please sister, FOR EQUESTRIA!”

It took every fiber of Luna’s being to restrain herself. Her left eye twitched fiercely as she ordered the guards to back down through gritted teeth.

“In the words of the great Lord Second, you mad?” Abstract taunted.

The twitching was beginning to speed up as her breathing rate increased and became more ragged. Abstract began to feel a little nervous when Luna’s eyes changed from their normal hue, to an icy blue, almost draconic look.

I may have went a bit far with that last one.

“Sister, I am going to ask for you to please remove yourself from these proceedings, and regain control of your emotions. Worry not, I have this all under control! I shall steel my heart against this deceit, and strive forwards to a peaceful tomorrow with our guests!”

No sooner after saying this, did Luna disappear in a flash of light. Celestia was extremely proud of her sister this moment; she did not know that Luna possessed such phenomenal acting skills.

Captain took an admiring look at Abstract Theory for a moment. He liked the fact he had the ability to get under the skins of the ponies so well. If he didn’t know any better, he would have sworn that he was part kappa. He looked over to his ugly yellow pony servant who quickly translated his message.

“Now that the disturbance is over, the question still stands. Where is the Allfather?”

“I am sorry to say, but he is not here yet. He is traveling a long distance with a company of soldiers protecting him, so their travel will take longer than normal. They should be here around time for dinner, so I invite you to stay with us. We can provide you a bed in the same room and tower as Hayato if you so choose.”

After a short deliberation, the kappa nodded to her in acceptance.

“Wonderful! And Abstract, I shall even allow you to take one of the guest rooms here, despite your actions today. I shall position two of my loyalest guards to protect you since you are part of the emissaries now. You have my word that you will not be harmed. Now if you excuse me, I am going to speak with my sister to help her calm down. The guards will escort you all to Hayato's tower. Good day.”

Once everypony was out of the throne room, Celestia burst into a fit of giggles. It had been a long time since she last had to play along with a double agent act. She forgot how much fun it could be.

She knew she wasn’t looking the part of the ‘regal ruler’ right now, but she didn’t care. The only other ponies in here were her personal guards, and they had long since been disillusioned that Celestia was prim and proper all the time. In fact, more often than not she was acted like a normal everyday pony. And they felt sorry for any servants or guards who treated her otherwise.

Taking the hidden door out of the throne room, Celestia pranced down the hallways to where her sister’s study was. Lightly tapping on the door, she heard grumble inside. All she could think of how dedicated her sister was being right now; clearly she should act in the next Hearth’s Warming Eve play.

She sauntered in and saw her sister pacing back and forth. The icy blue eyes that had been a wonderful touch before were now gone.

“SISTER! How couldst thou simply let thy betrayer go without recompense?”

“Ha! Don’t worry, we’re all alone in here and the guards aren’t around.”

“What art thou talking about? We demand to know thy reasoning behind this terrible decision!”

Celestia looked at her sister again and this time her eyes narrowed. She thought back to when they would play when they were younger and how she acted only moments ago. She was struck with a sudden realization.

“By mother, you’re serious, aren’t you?”

“OF COURSE WE ARE BEING SERIOUS. DOTH THOU THINK THIS IS A GAME?”

Yes. Completely serious. She was even actually talking consistently in the old dialect. She slipped in and out of it all the time, but it always strayed into her old manner of speech whenever she was significantly emotional.

“Luna... He’s being a double agent. You do know that, right?”

“...I... Wha... OF COURSE I did! I was just... really in-character. I was classically trained, you know!”

She followed with the fakest laugh Celestia had ever heard.

“Oh, I remember. In fact, as I recall, it was me who trained you.”

“What I want to know, sister, is why Abstract has to be our double agent? Don’t we have actual secret agents for that? What else is the E.S.S. for if not that?”

Celestia’s eyes widened.

“Oh...” she uttered. “That’s right... The E.S.S... They still exist...”

“...Sister?”

“I just realised that I haven’t had a meeting with them in over three hundred years! I forgot we still had them! Oh by Equestria, I don’t even know who the current commander-in-chief is!”

“What?! Well, contact them and find out!”

“I FORGOT HOW TO CONTACT THE E.S.S!”

“HOW DO YOU FORGET THE PRESENCE AND CONTACT INFORMATION OF AN ENTIRE GOVERNMENT AGENCY?!”

“THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM! I GET CONFUSED, LUNA!”

“We would like to go on record as saying ‘We told you so’.”

“What? What do you mean by that?”

“When the E.S.S. was formed, we suggested making a giant signal light to summon them. But you said it was a terrible idea!”

“It was a terrible idea, and no five year old has ever come up with good national security policies!”

“I bet if we had made the signal then thou wouldn’t have forgotten! Signals are as the ponies say today ‘the cat’s meow’.”

“Nopony says that anymore, Luna. You need to upgrade your slang dictionary.”

“And you need to not forget about the only way to contact an organisation that ONLY WE KNOW EVEN EXISTS AND ANSWERS ONLY TO US! What have they even been doing after three hundred years of no directions?!”

***

The pony in the middle of the arena finished dryly reading out of the textbook, and placed it down on the desk. He removed his glasses with his magic and wiped a smudge off them with a cloth.

“And that’s how you disarm a magical doomsday device,” he said in complete montone. “Now, all trainee agents... please turn to page six hundred and twelve, section B. We will now be covering the E.S.S. all-purpose policy on seducing mares while on the job. Refer to the Bond Act of 964 CR...”

The class all groaned.

***

Hayato leaned against the side of the latest hole they had been digging. Sweat was pouring down his face, and he felt like he was being cooked alive by the sun. Next to him, Shining sighed and stabbed his shovel into the dirt again. His movements were restricted by the chains that bound them together, and he was sweating an almost equal amount to his companion.

Looking up, he caught the human giving him an odd look. This had not been the first he had received from him, so just like the others, he chose to ignore it. However unlike the other times, he wasn’t stopping. Normally he’d get bored with it and get back to work, but this time he seemed determined to figure out whatever it was that was on his mind.

“See something you like? I know enslavement has been hard on you, but I’m a married stallion.”

“What is with you people?” was all Hayato said.

Oh this should be good.

“What ‘people’ and what do you mean?”

“I mean all you creatures in this world. Do you have some sort of fetish for desert environments? First a prison, and now a slave camp. Both of them in a goddamn desert. There is a perfectly good jungle not too far away that we passed through, but you both chose this hellhole. Is there something I’m missing?”

“Yes. You’re missing several brain cells. But I’m sure with the advancements in modern medicine, we can get you the help you need.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize that you were also the court jester as well as being captain, prince and presumably the head of the pony Gestapo as well. I’m not surprised you needed a fallback career, because as far as soldiers go, you are pretty fucking terrible.”

“Because you were such a help back there,” Shining responded. “I swear, surrendering must be your special talent. Congratulations. We’ll get you a tattoo when we get back.”

Hayato shot him a glare and then climbed out of the hole to go make a new one, with Shining soon following. Their disdain for each other only grew as time passed, and the intense heat of the desert was not making things any easier on the two.

They continued to dig in silence together when a large clump of dirt smacked into Shining Armor’s side. He shot a glare at Hayato, but noticed that he seemed focus on his digging, albeit mumbling to himself about something. Figuring that it was a genuine accident, Shining went back to digging his section of the hole.

A few minutes later, an even larger clump hit him.

“Watch where you’re shoveling that!” he snapped, only for Hayato to wave him off.

He was beginning to find it very hard to maintain his composure. Hayato was grinding on the last of his nerves. He began mentally running through several calming techniques he learned from military training. This lasted for a good ten seconds before the next clod of sand and dirt smacked him in the face.

This would have normally just been severely irritating and nothing more. However, that particular one had a very sharp rock inside that left a gash above his left eye. And like that, he snapped.

Shining Armor gripped the shovel tight in his mouth and spun around as hard as he could. A loud clang resounded through the desert, accompanied by a cry of pain. The shovel fell from Shining’s mouth as his eyes went wide. Blood was streaming out of Hayato's nose. He tried to stem the bleeding by pinching his nose, but to no avail.

I... I hit him? How in Tartarus did I manage that?

Hayato was glaring at him in fury. He stopped caring about the free flowing blood and decided to take action.

Grabbing ahold of the chain that connected them, Hayato yanked it upwards towards him, and unintentionally swung Shining over his back and sent him flying through the air. He crashed down on the ground behind him. Hayato didn’t seem to notice this feat, and went back to worrying about his nose.

In a strange way, Hayato was lucky that this was not the first time his nose had been broken, and knew what to do. Placing his hands on either side of his nose, he took a deep breath before forcibly shifting his nose back into the proper position. Once in the proper place, he felt the pain start to quickly ebb away.

Unfortunately, in an effort to fix his nose, he had given Shining Armor enough time to recover from his injuries. He stood shakily to his hooves and snuck up behind the distracted human. As soon as Hayato lowered his arms, Shining struck. Wrapping part of the chain around his free forehoof, he leapt onto his back and began to choke Hayato with the chain that bound them together.

Hayato’s eyes bulged as he was slowly suffocating. He grasped wildly at the chains around his throat, but couldn’t get his fingers underneath them to prise them off. As the edges of his vision began to blacken, he stumbled backwards towards their most recently completed hole and fell back into it.

The white stallion on his back found the wind driven out of the lungs by the full weight of Hayato slamming into him. Pain exploded in Shining’s midsection, and he felt at least three of his ribs breaking. And sadly, those were the only three ribs he had yet to ever break. They were special to him in an odd way. That was upsetting.

Feeling the chains loosen around his neck, Hayato tore himself free. He turned around to see if Shining Armor was dead, and got a buck to the face for his trouble. Hayato stumbled back from the blow, but the pain quickly faded as adrenaline kicked in; if that was how Shining wanted to play, then he would oblige.

In one swift motion, Hayato connected his right foot with his opponent’s chin, sending him flying out of the hole. Hayato only had a fraction of a second to process the fact that he just launched a small horse through the air before their chain pulled him upwards out of the hole as well.

They both crashed face down in the sand back above ground again.

Hayato slowly got up again to see his foe charging at him. He was beginning to see that military training now. Hoping that his track skills weren’t too rusty, he charged forward as well, and at the last possible second leapt over him. His elation for the successful maneuver only lasted a moment, before Shining bit down on the chain, and using all the strength he could muster, pulled Hayato face first into the ground.

At this point, Hayato’s tolerance for being chained had reached a breaking point. There was only so much a guy could take. Seething, he grabbed ahold of them, and snapped the chain like it was made of putty.

“Ha, I knew it! I told you that you had powers!”

Any happiness Shining felt at being vindicated was quickly stomped out by Hayato’s answer.

“Oh yeah? Then what made you think it was a good idea to piss me off?!”

Hayato grabbed the remnants of the chains and began to choke Shining with them, just as had been done to him. His hooves flailed uselessly as he slipped closer to unconsciousness, and he began to regret his earlier overreaction.

Then suddenly, a giant talking spider.

“SLACKERS!”

He leapt through the air towards them. Hayato’s reflexes kicked in and he managed to roll out of the way, while pushing Shining in the opposite direction. Where they had just been, a spear was embedded in the sand. The spider who held it looked at them both, somewhat angry, but also seeming amused.

Hayato recognized him immediately as the one that had beaten Shining Armor earlier. Marianus was his name. By the way the captain’s eyes narrowed when he saw him, it was clear that he also remembered the legionnaire.

Marianus had been hoping that Shining would act up, so that he would have the excuse to beat him again. Unfortunately for him, he made a tactical error in coming to do so alone, because Shining was no longer chained up. And he was furious right now.

Before Marianus could pull his spear from the ground, the full weight of Shining’s body slammed into one of his back legs on his right side, snapping it in half.

His roar of pain was quickly cut off by a strike to his underside from Shining’s left forehoof. Not one to take a beating easily, Marianus regained his senses and began to fight back. His own military training allowed him to spot the areas on Shining’s body that had been injured in his previous scuffle, and strike them with precision.

Off to the side, Hayato watched the two soldiers beat each other back and forth. He heard people say that watching professionals fight was like watching a deadly dance. He was starting to think whoever said that was an idiot; there was nothing even close to dancing in what he saw. In fact, he was getting annoyed at the fact that he was being completely ignored by both of them.

The two of them went back and forth for several minutes until the weary stallion was able to land a good buck in, sending the spider rolling across the sand. With a groan, Marianus pulled himself back up on his remaining good legs. When he was at his full height, he found himself staring face to face with the Siamese diamond dog from earlier.

“Hey there,” was all it said, before punching him in the face with an absurd amount of force.

Marianus stumbled backwards into the waiting hooves of Shining Armor, who drove his right forehoof into the same exact spot where the dog had just hit him. Against his better judgement, he stepped back once more, only to be smacked in the side with a very familiar object. Even in his pain, he was able to shout.

“DID YOU JUST HIT ME WITH MY OWN LEG!?”

That was something you just didn’t do in Legion culture.

Hayato’s response was simply to hit him with the leg again... and again... and again...

While it was normally a benefit to the spiders, the exoskeleton on the leg was making this far more painful than it needed to be. Marianus dodged out of the way, and went for Shining Armor instead of dealing with his immediate attacker. This was his next mistake. Hayato's distraction had provided the stallion plenty of time to recover the shovel that had started this whole incident.

The moment he turned around to face Shining, Marianus found said shovel slamming into him and slicing through armor and exoskeleton alike. Then he found himself victim of a tag team beating, as the two began to throw the shovel to each other and take turns whacking and stabbing him with it. Yellow spider blood flew everywhere, and splattered over both of the pair.

To anyone watching, it was a strange sight to behold how well they worked together.

In a matter of minutes, he had lost another two legs, his armor had collapsed into shards and fallen off, and he bled yellow as he laid on his belly in the sand. It was a rare humiliation to be beaten by two beings who began the fight unarmed. Your average Legion soldier was equivalent to five fully armored and properly equipped Equestrian Royal Guards. And that wasn’t Legion boasting either. Those were the statistics the ponies came up with.

“Ugh...” Marianus groaned as he rolled over. “By the demon king...”

He was silenced as he felt his own spear thrust into his gut.

Shining Armor stood over him, his expression devoid of any sympathy. Indeed, rather than even giving the legionnaire the mercy of a quick death, he grabbed the spear handle in his teeth and pulled it upright, planting the handle’s end in the sand and letting the impaled Marianus slide back down it onto the ground again.

The last thing that he ever saw was the pony’s hoof getting closer to his face.

“Don’t you ever threaten my family,” Shining muttered, wiping the resulting gunk from his hooves.

Hayato walked over to the blood-soaked stallion and patted him on the back. As much as they despised each other, they realized that they both hated the spiders even more. While what they just developed wasn’t exactly friendship, it was better than what they had before. Shining just looked over at Hayato and smirked.

“You know, I am starting to see what you mean about deserts. They really suck.”

For the first time since they’d known each other, Hayato had heard him make a joke. Stranger still, was that it actually made him laugh. Shining joined him soon after, and they both laughed together at the insanity of it all.

Until they were interrupted again.

“WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?”

Above them, on a tall sand dune, seven well armed spiders stared down at two blood-covered slaves, laughing like maniacs over the corpse of a Legion soldier. Hayato and Shining shared a nervous look and gulped as they realised that they were outnumbered. Without any hesitation, and in perfect unison, the two said the only excuse that came to mind.

“We didn’t do it.”

***

Dinner was awkward.

Celestia stared out across the main dining table of the castle at the motley assembly of ponies. It was rare for her to see ponies from all walks of life gathered together, as much to her dismay, she was forced to spend her evenings with stuffy nobles who were constantly vying for her approval.

So to her, it was a rather refreshing scenario that she found herself in.

The only drawback was the thick tension in the air due to the presence of the kappa. Seeing as kappas were known for preying on wayward ponies who got lost in the woods, it was no surprise that her subjects felt afraid of the one currently dining with them. No matter how ridiculously it was dressed.

Little did she know however, the presence of Captain and his guards were not the only cause for tension. Assembled around the table by pure coincidence was the entire Brotherhood of Man. They had all nearly had a collective heart attack when they entered the hall at the same time, escorted in by different ponies from different rooms.

Even Fancy Pants had found his way to the table, by sheer virtue of being in the castle at the time and being friends with the princesses.

More than once during the event, Lyra found her magic to be unsteady as her nerves got the better of her. She was actually grateful that Captain was there to be a scapegoat for why she was so nervous.

Her first reaction was anger, as she knew that her home was in ruins because of him. All she could think about was all the priceless items in her home that were not easily replaced, if they could be at all. Now though, she was deep in thought over what the princess had pulled her aside to tell her about before they entered the hall.

According to her, Abstract was bravely acting as a double agent and infiltrating a cult that had formed around Captain and the Third. Lyra however, knew her adoptive brother better than that. She knew that he was actually joining the cult for real. If he was going to be a double agent for anypony, it would be them.

It seemed, however, that not everypony at the table was privy to that information, as Twilight’s friends would occasionally glare daggers at him from across the table. Whenever Twilight would see her friends doing it, she would look over at Lyra sadly.

She wasn’t even sure if Twilight was in on it. Would she have reason to be, other than being Celestia’s student? She barely even knew Abstract before this dinner, so Lyra didn’t see much reason why she should. Maybe those sad looks were the “I’m sorry your sort-of-brother is a traitor to the realm and you have my sympathies” kind of sad.

The other members of the Brotherhood were also doing a very good job at keeping up the facade of being, at most, casual acquaintances. Although she had to admit it was weird reintroducing Bon Bon to ponies she had already known for some time now.

“I’m just saying, who knows what kind of streamers he wants at his party? Omigosh, what if he doesn’t even like streamers?! What if he prefers confetti?! Twilight, we are going to need to get ten barrels of confetti for the party!”

And then there was the current ongoing conversation, which was also the usual brand of strange.

“Pinkie, I’m sure he won’t mind... Wait, why ten barrels?”

“How else are we going cover the entire arena?”

“What arena?” Twilight asked, rather confused.

“Maredison Square Garden, of course.”

“Pinkie, how do you plan on having a party there? That place is always booked!”

“I know, that’s why I got a reservation last year!”

“You KNEW!?”

“Knew what?”

“Did you know that Hayato was going to come to Equestria?!” Twilight exclaimed, drawing the attention of everyone at the table.

“Of course not, silly filly! I always rent out a slot at the garden each year, in case I need it for a mega special party. And if I don’t need to use it one year, I can sell it for like ten times more than I paid for it!”

Everypony at the table stared at Pinkie Pie. While they didn’t think the pink pony was stupid per-se, they certainly weren’t expecting her to be capable of such a move. Then again, this was the pony that hid balloons around Ponyville in case of ‘balloon emergencies.’

“Wow Pinks, that is cold blooded! I didn’t know you had it in you!” Rainbow said, nudging her friend with an approving grin.

“I must say, Miss Pie, that is a rather clever business strategy,” Fancy Pants agreed. “I don’t mean to be insulting but, I am surprised that you came up with that. Might I ask where you learned to be such a shrewd buisnesspony?”

“Oh, it’s okay! I understand, Mister Fancy! I got really good at that kind of stuff when I started to run the Cakes’ shop when they started expanding to other towns. I’ve only been doing it for five years.”

“Pinkie dear... are you rich?”

“Uhm... Maybe a little,” she said with a nervous laugh.

Off to the side, Princess Celestia began to laugh. Everypony at the table turned to her in confusion. It took Celestia a few moments to catch her breath and wipe a tear away from her eyes.

“I’m sorry to laugh my little ponies. It’s just, I was always curious why I’ve had to pay so much to host Luna’s birthdays for the past few years. This certainly explains it.”

At that moment, you could hear a pin drop from anywhere in the castle. As if possessed by some ethereal force, all the ponies in the room turned their heads to look at Pinkie at the exact same time. Pinkie however, was scratching her chin before a look of realization dawned on her.

“Ohhh, so YOU’RE Miss Whitefeather! I was always wondering why you were the only one buying the slot from me! It all makes sense now!”

Pinkie was not bothered in the least.

Twilight on the other hoof looked like she wanted to melt into a puddle right there and evaporate. One of her own friends had made her mentor and first friend pay ten times the price for something she wanted to get for her sister. In her mind, the only thing to do now was to prostrate herself before her mentor’s hooves and beg for forgiveness.

Celestia however, had noticed the gears turning in her students mind, and knew exactly what conclusions the poor mare was coming up with. So before Twilight even had a chance to stand up, Celestia placed a hoof on her shoulder and gave a reassuring smile.

“Don’t worry, Twilight. I’m not upset. If anything, I applaud Pinkie’s cleverness. I daresay you could learn something from her.”

At that moment, the grand doors that led out of the dining hall swung open quickly, and slammed into the walls. The guards either side of the doors barely dodged being smacked by them in the process. All eyes were drawn to the archway as an alabaster unicorn marched in, flanked by several more unicorns, all in well-designed, ceremonial armor.

Oh dear, what is my nephew up to this time?

Blueblood marched up to the table with his entourage of sixteen ponies, all looking to be of noble birth. While he appeared stoic as he first entered, as his eyes gazed across the table at Abstract, his expression was slowly contorting into rage. Celestia knew that the design of the armor he was wearing looked familiar, but she couldn’t quite place where she had seen it before.

“My dear nephew, what brings you here?” she asked in her most diplomatic voice. “I thought you had your dinners with your family?”

“Aunty, I am here on business with that fiend over there,” Blueblood said in a seething tone, pointing at Abstract.

The other unicorn frowned.

What the hell is with this guy? I don’t remember offending him. Maybe he’s psychic and heard my thoughts about his wife earlier? Hmmm... Hey, Blueblood! You are completely hideous.

Blueblood’s eye twitched, and he was visibly restraining himself from charging at the confused unicorn.

Okay... That was spooky.

“In front these assembled witnesses, I, Prince Blueblood the... whatever number I am... challenge you to a duel to death, that I might avenge the treachery you visited upon the royal family!”

Abstract’s eyes lit up.

Holy shit, yes!

“Blueblood, you cannot simply go around challenging other ponies to death duels!” Celestia protested. “We have laws about murder! You know this!”

“Actually aunty, I can. According to the Unicorn Concord at the founding of Equestria, unicorns may challenge each other to a duel to the death if one of the parties has besmirched the other’s honor. And never before have I seen a bigger need for this than I have today!”

Of course! That’s where the armor is from! Nopony has invoked the Rite of Pride in a millenia! I had forgotten it even existed... I’m doing that a lot lately.

The princess laughed nervously, and tried to think of a way to defuse the situation with Blueblood until she could take him aside and explain what Abstract was doing.

“Nephew,” she began, “I hardly think it’s necessary for you to-”

Her attempt was interrupted rather suddenly by Abstract, who jumped right up onto the dinner table and used his versatile magical skills to summon a sword construct made of pure magic. He pointed it across the room towards Blueblood and grinned maniacally as he shouted his response.

“I ACCEPT!”

Blueblood’s horn lit up and he ripped an ancient sword out of a scabbard by his side, with a jewel encrusted, golden hilt and a blade that was almost blinding thanks to the sun pouring through the windows reflecting off of it.

“EN GARDE!” the prince roared as he charged at the table.

Celestia dodged to the side as Blueblood jumped over where she was sitting to land on the table itself, all four hooves miraculously landing between everypony’s meals, and he swung the sword at Abstract and they clashed in the air.

The ponies at the table all cringed and ducked down as stallions began to move back and forth along the table. Blueblood and Abstract seemed... surprisingly even in skill. One would block and parry just as often as they would attack, and neither seemed to be able to land a hit.

Sitting comfortably on his pillow, Captain grinned as the two stupid horned ponies began to fight each other. He was pleasantly surprised to find that dinner came with a show. He turned to the mare immediately to his left and made a series of hand gestures to her. She spoke up.

“The president wishes to announce that he is most pleased!” Whiplash shouted.

The two unicorns briefly turned their heads to look at her as they struggled against each other.

“Well thank Luna for that,” Blueblood said sarcastically.

If one listened close enough they could hear the words “you’re welcome” echo down the hallways.

Captain made another series of hand signals.

“He also says, quote, ‘Go Abstract, my champion. Kill the other pony for your president. The Allfather will reward you with whatever it is you pathetic pony creatures like. Like hay maybe. Ponies like hay, don’t they?’”

Whiplash looked back at Captain.

“By the way, Mr. President, das racist.”

Captain rolled his eyes, and slid some fruit over to her from his own plate to placate her. Much like a dog, she immediately stopped complaining and happily accepted the offering. He saw the red suited apparition of his master from earlier, appear on his shoulder.

“That’s right, Captain. Give that bitch a fruit. Bitches love fruit.”

At this point, the ponies on the table remembered that they were supposed to be locked in mortal combat and returned to trying to kill each other with large swords.

“I WILL DESTROY YOU, TRAITOR!” the prince bellowed.

The swords clashed again, and Abstract had to back towards the end of the table as Blueblood became more aggressive with his strikes. Abstract in turn became more aggressive with his verbal insults.

“YOUR WIFE SUCKS OFF STALLIONS BEHIND FAST FOOD PLACES!”

“AT LEAST I HAVE A WIFE, AND I’M NOT A THIRTY ONE YEAR OLD VIRGIN!”

“I’M NOT EITHER! I MET YOUR MOTHER!”

“YEAH, WELL YOUR PARENTS ARE DEAD!”

“AND YOUR PARENTS CONCEIVED YOU IN AN ORGY WITH A BUNCH OF DONKEYS!”

“AT LEAST MY PARENTS GOT LAID, YOU GLORIFIED COMMONER!”

“THAT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE!”

“NEITHER DOES YOUR FACE!”

Blueblood took the opportunity to magically lift a pie of some kind off the table and throw it into Abstract’s face. In the moment of distraction, he twisted around and bucked him right off the edge of the table. The prince leapt down after him, but Abstract rolled to the side.

Unfortunately for him, the kick made Abstract lose his concentration, and the magical blade vanished. However, he was not out of tricks yet, and he used his magic to steal a pair of blades from the scabbards of two of the nobles that accompanied Blueblood to the duel.

Blueblood responded by dropping his sword, and using his magic to pick up Abstract himself.

“Wha—”

Suddenly, the war mage found himself flying through the air towards the side of the room. He hadn’t expected Blueblood to be that strong with his magic, but apparently he was powerful enough to toss Abstract straight through a stained glass window and send him falling onto a balcony a floor below.

Blueblood ran over to the window and looked down, hoping to see a bloody corpse down in the courtyard outside. Instead, he found a magical aura gripping around his neck, and he was yanked out of the same window and down onto that same balcony.

The princess, the guards, the nobles, the Elements, the Brotherhood and Captain soon found themselves crowding around that same broken window, (for it was a large window), and watching as the duel spilled outside.

Blueblood now found himself unfortunately without a sword, so at this point he was running along the balcony to try and escape Abstract, who now had three, and had turned them into a tornado of metallic death.

“GET BACK HERE, YOU COWARD!”

“I WILL STILL DESTROY YOU! JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET A WEAPON!”

Celestia just sighed and shook her head.

“I expected nothing less.”

“Aren’t you going to stop them, princess?” Twilight asked nervously.

“What would even be the point? They’ll just kill each other later on when I’m not looking. Best to let them tire themselves out right now and hope they both survive.”

The assembled ponies could help but agree with her logic. After all, the two of them seemed very determined to kill each other. A jingling could be heard in the air above them as Echo leaned over to Rainbow Dash.

“Fifty bits on Abstract!”

Meanwhile, Celestia was distracted as another new face emerged from the crowd of nobles, and a meek pegasus fluttered up next to her.

“Your highness?” he whispered. “Bad news from Nameless...”

***

Bound in a fresh set of new chains, Hayato and Shining Armor were dragged back through the desert to the main encampment. Still soaked in Marianus’s blood, they attracted the eye of every slave that they passed. Murmurs of curiosity began to rumble throughout the camp as the slaves speculated on what happened.

Normally the guards would have begun whipping them to get them back to work, but they found themselves curious as well. This was the first time they had seen anything like this since before the construction started.

Hayato would have taken this opportunity to make some sort of smartass comment, but he and Shining were both contemplating the events that had transpired moments ago. Hayato was no stranger to fights. Bar-hopping with his friends over the years had seen to that. But never before had he actually killed someone in a fight.

He didn’t even win his fights most of the time.

After the arduous trek through the sands, they found themselves at the center of the camp. The concentration of slaves was greater, as it appeared the soldiers were forcing them to do even the most menial jobs.

The pair were forced over to a large metal post, where their chain was secured to a thick ring so they couldn’t escape. One spider also took time to tie a strange doll to the chains. Once bound tightly, the chains glowed blue, before returning to their normal state. Even in his deep state of thought, this caught Hayato's attention.

“What’s with the doll?”

“That is not just a doll,” the legionnaire stated. “It’s a fetish.”

“Oh wow, I have never seen one in person before. Does it belong to you?”

Shining Armor gave Hayato and odd look, wondering where he was going with this question. Then it all fell into place as he saw the faintest traces of a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

He isn’t...

“Yes, that is my fetish,” the soldier replied, with no small amount of pride.

Just keep it together, too many busted ribs to be laughing right now, just remember your training.

Shining Armor was doing a valiant job at containing his laughter. It was not to last, as he directed his gaze at Hayato, who was sporting the largest grin his face could support. All his resistance faltered, and he broke into loud and painful laughter. Hayato joined him in laughing as the spider started at them in utter confusion.

“What is so funny about my fetish? I made it myself!” the arachnid said defensively.

This only served to prolong the laughter, and slowly the spider was becoming more uncomfortable with being around the prisoners. He looked over at the doll to see if there might have been an imperfection, but there wasn’t, and he only became more confused.

“Stop laughing at my fetish!” he shouted.

The pair were now laying on the ground in hysterics. The spider meanwhile began crying.

“I HATE YOU BOTH! I’M TELLING THE CENTURION!”

And then he scuttled away as fast as his big hairy legs could carry him, leaving the two alone. He laughter soon died down, and the two relaxed.

“We killed a spider,” Hayato said, becoming suddenly serious.

“Yeah,” Shining agreed. “Not our smartest move.”

“No, I mean, we killed someone!” Hayato shouted. “I killed someone! Shining, I killed a spider!”

A few other legionnaires gave them odd looks as they passed.

“I can’t believe I... How could I?”

He bowed his head for a brief moment, before sitting up again suddenly.

“Wait. Why am I feeling guilty about this?” he asked Shining. “I’ve killed hundreds of spiders! Hate the fucking things. And these guys are the worst of all of them.”

A junior legionnaire who was stacking wood near them stared at them nervously, and began to slowly back away from them.

“Well then... Do you think you could... I don’t know... Break us out of these chains and kill all the rest?”

The human rolled his eyes.

“Are you still on this ‘superpowers’ thing?”

“I saw you use them when you were fighting me! Don’t you dare try to backpedal on me again!”

“It’s called an adrenaline rush. All humans have them. We get in a stressful situation, and a chemical is released that temporarily acts as a natural painkiller and increases strength a bit. I think. I failed biology. But it’s not a superpower, and you’re still deluded.”

“I’m deluded? Me?”

"I'm glad to see we’re on the same page. It takes a big stallion to admit his problems, and now the healing can begin."

A new voice interrupted them. A very British one.

"I must admit, I’m on Captain Armor’s side on this one. At least in the sense of your enhanced capabilities. While your strength might not be magical, there are definitely some magical elements there. I think it’s simply a case of a superior biology. Among your own kind you may see yourself as average or not very powerful, but in comparison to ponies, that’s not the case. Although, I can't be sure unless I were to meet more of your people. Such a fascinating race, you humans are."

Shining Armor and Hayato turned their attention away from each other. Standing before them was a brown stallion wearing a green tie. On his flank was an hourglass cutie mark, and his legs were chained up just as they were. A spider legionnaire behind him was fiddling with another set of chains.

"Doctor, is that you?” asked Shining. “Of all ponies, how did YOU get captured?"

"Wait... Doctor?” Hayato said, excitement creeping into his voice. “As in THE Doctor? The time lord?"

The brown stallion gave Hayato a very surprised look.

"You know me? I don't think I’ve ever met one of your species before."

He then grunted as the legionnaire shoved him onto his knees and threw him against the wooden post so that he could be chained up as well. Hayato continued regardless.

"I know all about you! I am such a fan of your work! Especially how you dealt with the Master. Classic stuff."

That caught the Doctor’s attention. And Shining’s too.

“How do you know about the Master?!” Shining demanded. “His existence is meant to be classified information, known only to the royals, myself and the UNIT organization!”

“And Torchwood?” Hayato replied.

Shining stared at him like he’d just slapped him in the face.

“...What’s Torchwood?” asked the Doctor.

“Nothing that concerns you,” Shining seethed.

“Yeah, sorry Doctor. Spoilers,” Hayato agreed.

“Human. You and me are going to have a long talk about national secrets once we get out of here...”

“You want to have a conversation about national secrets? You really aren’t good at your job are you?”

Hayato then turned his back to the captain, and returned to talking to the Doctor as if they had had never been interrupted.

"And those weeping angels! When I saw them for the first time, I was legitimately terrified for a week. I even locked all my statues in a closet. Well, ornaments rather. True story. Give me a break though, I was only about fourteen."

"Who are you?" the Doctor asked in a level voice, laced with suspicion.

Noticing the change of inflection in the Doctor’s voice, Hayato finally realized that he had said too much. In his excitement, he forgot to censor himself. Just like with My Little Pony, he knew information that he shouldn't have through Doctor Who as well. More so even, because he was actually a fan of that and followed the series.

And the fact that this Doctor seemed to be some kind of strange crossbreed of elements from both did make this complicated. It wasn’t until that exact moment that it dawned on him that this Doctor was also a pony, and he began wondering what the hell he was doing here. He’d not heard of any official crossover between the franchises, and working in the marketing department, he certainly would have if it had happened. So what was the deal?

Regardless though, it was time for damage control.

"I'm Hayato, or as the ponies like to call me, the Third."

"You know what I meant. How do you know me? Are you from my future?"

Try as he might, no good lies came to him. With the ponies it had been easy, but to someone that he revered and admired, he found himself running empty.

"I... I can't tell you. I'm sorry, but there are some things that should remain secret. You should know that better than anyone. But you don't need to worry. I meant what I said about being a fan of the good you have done."

The brown stallion stared into the human’s eyes for what felt like an eternity, searching for any sign of insincerity. Finding none, he relaxed. As a matter of fact, he did understand what the human meant. He himself knew many things that would make ponies despair if they knew about them. So whatever secret that he knew, he respected Hayato for keeping it to himself.

"I see. Well I suppose it is always nice to meet a fan." The Doctor laughed.

"If you don't mind me asking, which number are you? I think I know, but in case I'm wrong, I don't want to give any spoilers"

"Tenth."

"I thought so. Same voice. You were always my favorite. Glad you’re the one I got to meet."

"Thanks. I’m guessing you know the others then...” The Doctor paused. “Is there an Eleventh?"

"He wears a bowtie, and I’ve noticed he’s a lot more lax about potential paradoxes than you are. I could tell you such a story about this old guy on a Victorian-themed planet with fish that swim in the air, but again, I can’t give spoilers."

“I swore that I wouldn’t be caught dead in a bowtie again." the Doctor said with a faint smile.

“Don’t knock on bowties. Bowties are cool.”

Completely ignored, Shining Armor grew more and more lost in their conversation. It was like the two of them were speaking an entire other language. It got worse when they actually did start speaking another language.

"Not many ponies on this side of Equestria know how to speak Japeneighs. I’m surprised. How many other languages do you know?"

"Just a few. Where I come from, the education system is very insistent that you know at least two languages."

"Okay, what the hay are you two talking about? If you are going to talk, at least be decent enough to speak a language we all know."

"Ah, terribly sorry about that, captain. Habit. And your friend here’s got a lot to say.”

“‘Friend’ is stretching it a bit,” Shining muttered.

“Oh come on, captain. We’ve killed together! Don’t soldiers get off on that shit?”

“I don’t even know why I bother anymore. Just get me when you decide stallion up and use your damn powers,” Shining grumbled, turning his back to them and lying down.

“Doctor, I have a question for you,” said Hayato, still speaking Japanese.

“What is it?”

“Those chains they used on me in the crater, were they really dwarf star alloy? They weren’t some sentient metal that could change its density?” Hayato asked, hopefully.

“Sentient metal alloy? Now would that be something to see. When I get out of here, I’m going to look for that. I bet it exists somewhere. But no, that was the real stuff.”

“That’s what I was afraid of...”

“Why do you ask? In fact, what could you have done for them to let you out? Ponies are amazing creatures, but even they have standards on prisoner keeping.”

“I... I kind of broke the chains...”

“You broke, dwarf star alloy. How in the blazes did you manage to do that?”

The Doctor had suddenly stopped speaking Japanese, making Shining briefly turn his head to look back at them. Hayato continued to talk in foreign though, deliberately intending to exclude the captain from the conversation.

“I kind of... sneezed.”

“You sneezed?”

The Doctor got the hint and returned to speaking in Japanese, but his disbelief was still evident in his tone.

“It was a really hard sneeze,” Hayato weakly defended.

Once more the Doctor searched his new friend’s eyes for any sign of falsehood, but there was none to be found. This species was becoming more and more interesting to him by the minute.

“I can certainly understand why Captain Armor believes that you have powers. Because you do. Special machinery is needed just to shape the material, let alone break it. I had to make a trip to the 51st century to have those forged.”

“About that... I kind of made a statue out of the chains.”

“Why do you keep denying the existence of your abilities then? Even you have to admit that you’re different than whatever you consider to be normal.”

“I know, Doctor. I’ve suspected it for a little while now, in a way. Some of the things I’ve done since I came here are... Well. It’s been astounding to me.”

“Then why?”

Hayato looked at the Doctor for a moment before sighing.

“Tell me Doctor, when has this sort of situation ever ended well?’

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you know what happened to Second and First. I know what these ponies are capable of too. What they did to them. And honestly, don’t tell grumpy back there, but they terrify me. They freed me for now, but... It’s just, if they think I’m dangerous, what will they do to me?”

The Doctor placed his hoof on the human’s shoulder, in an act of solidarity.

“I will help you. If you need it.”

For the first time since he had arrived in Equestria, Hayato felt like things might actually be okay.

***

Abstract stood on the balcony of what he could only assume were the palace’s guest bedrooms, when he realized that Blueblood was absolutely nowhere to be found. The three blades now lazily floated in the air at his side, and the unicorn wandered over to the side of the balcony to look over the edge for any sign of him. He could have somehow escaped to the courtyard below.

Where did the little weasel go?

It was then that Abstract heard the sound of grinding stone. Where it was coming from though, he couldn’t tell. It wasn’t until some dust fell onto his nose that he looked up and what he saw made his eyes go wide.

“Don’t you dare, you little bastard!” he shouted.

But the shouting would not dissuade the prince, as with one wicked salute, he sent a large statue of Starswirl the Bearded tumbling over the side, right over where Abstract was standing. The statue plummeted as Abstract abandoned the swords to dive onto an adjacent balcony, just barely avoiding being turned into a fine paste.

“Wait until I get my hooves around your... ARE YOU KIDDING ME?”

Once more, Abstract was forced to leap onto another balcony as a second statue fell where he was standing, this one slightly lower than the last. Then again on a third balcony. This happened at least two more times, until Abstract finally ran out of balconies to flee to. He stared up at his foe as he readied final statue.

“Where the hell did you even find all of these?! Seriously!”

“There was a sculpting competition earlier!”

“...That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard of!”

“Really? It’s only the second stupidest thing I have ever heard. The first being the sound that will be made when this smashes you flat!”

Blueblood flung the statue off the roof, and it came right down onto Abstract. Or it would have, if Abstract hadn’t the presence of mind to dive through the mostly glass doorway that led out into the guest room from the balcony.

Waiting for the dust and debris to clear from the impact, Blueblood waited with bated breath to see if the the traitor was finally dead. But looking down, all he saw was the shattered remains of a statue and a sculptor’s dreams.

Frustrated, he leapt cautiously leapt down to the closest balcony below him, and used them as a pathway to make his way down to Abstract’s level and finish him off.

Meanwhile, inside the room, Abstract got to his hooves and shook the glass off his coat. While his body ached fiercely, none of the pieces had been sharp enough to actually cut him particularly deep, and so he was fortunately still good to fight.

Having left the swords behind him on the first balcony, he knew it was only a matter of time before Blueblood rearmed himself and came after him. So he decided to search the room for something that could be used for a weapon. It was at this moment, he discovered he was in the room of none other than the lunar diarch herself, who was currently fast asleep in her bed.

Abstract froze in place when he saw her snoring softly behind the translucent blue canopy. While it was all fun and games to get her riled up in front of her sister, he was less inclined to face her while he was alone, especially while already having one homicidal royal after his head. Knowing that Blueblood was still a problem, he quietly resumed his search for anything to help him defend himself.

As he crept through the room, he was surprised to see how relatively normal it was. How seemingly benign a monster could be. How easily she could blend in with other ponies. Then again, most serial killers were the last ponies you would ever expect, according to the experts anyways.

After doing another sweep of the room with his eyes, he finally caught a glint of something metallic. Unfortunately, that something was coming from behind the canopy of the bed. But Blueblood was getting closer with every second he wasted standing around and debating his own actions.

Puffing out his chest in courage, Abstract made his way over to the bed of the slumbering princess. He decided to abstain from using magic and pushed the veil aside by hoof, worried that the light would wake her. He gazed down at her sleeping form, and couldn’t help but think of how easy it would be to kill her right now if she were almost any other pony in the world.

But no. She had to be an alicorn. Invincible to all but the humans’ weapons, and beyond even his ability to deal with. He just had to trust the Third to save them for now, and instead climb across the mattress to reach the source of the glint he spotted before, which turned out to be a sword and shield mounted on the wall.

Then, Abstract froze as a loud squeak pierced the air. His head turned mechanically as he saw that beneath his hoof a doll rested. Sweat dotted his brow as he heard Luna beginning to shift beneath the blanket. Soon the movement stopped, and he let out a sigh of relief. Reaching forwards, he bit down on the hilt of the hanging sword.

Once it was removed from the wall, he turned around to make his escape. Only to be met with a pair of clear blue eyes.

“What art thou doing in our quarters?”

Even though he was holding a finely made blade in his mouth, Abstract was feeling very defenseless at the moment. He knew the thing would mean very little against her might. He opened his mouth to speak, and caught the blade with his magical aura.

“Now I know this looks really bad, but I swear there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for this.”

“Truly? This should be good.”

“I’m sure that you know that I am just a spy for you and your sister... right? I was just doing that whole thing earlier as an act,” he asked, nervously.

“Of course we know. Doth thou take us for a fool? Our acting skills are quite superior to our sister’s.”

Abstract visibly relaxed at this. He was happy to know he wasn’t about to be turned into a fine paste against the wall.

“Now, what art thou doing in our chambers?”

“Well your stupid nephew, or whatever he is, went and invoked the Rite of Pride...”

Hearing this, Luna immediately groaned and facehoofed. Of course Blueblood was involved in this. It was always Blueblood. She listened as Abstract continued his explanation and found herself appalled at the treatment of the hard worked statues.

“...And that is why I am now in here, holding a sword in your bed,” he finished.

“Well, color me surprised. You actually have a decent excuse,” Luna admitted, slipping back into modern tongue.

“Soooo... what are we to do now? Blueblood will be here soon, and that means I have to get back to fighting him.”

Luna seemed to ponder this for a moment, before a wicked smile appeared on her face.

“Well we certainly need to keep up your guise, so please allow me to assist you.”

Luna’s aura surrounded Abstract and lifted him into the air.

“Princess?” he asked.

Oh she’d better not...

“Aha! So this is where you’ve been hiding!” Blueblood shouted, standing in the doorway to the balcony.

Blueblood’s moment of jubilation was cut short as Abstract’s body was sent crashing into them, sending them both flying off the balcony to the training grounds below.

Classic Nightmare Moon.

***

Celestia marched through the hallways with Twilight and her friends in tow. Captain and his retainers were escorted to the tower they would be residing in for the duration of their stay. Thankfully they did not complain, as Captain seemed far too busy making fun of Blueblood to be bothered by Celestia and the others leaving. The rest of the dinner guests had all left in search of Abstract and Blueblood.

None of the Elements could get an answer out of Celestia as to what exactly caused her to pull them away from the dinner though. Instead she kept a firm but regal appearance and marched towards the war room.

Once inside, the doors were sealed shut, and the ponies were confronted by the stern-looking Lieutenant Blade Edge, Shining’s second-in-command. Upon seeing Celestia and the others entering, he saluted and approached.

“I’m sorry to pull you away from your meal, your majesty, but as I’m sure you heard, the situation is dire.”

“What exactly is going on, Lieutenant? I heard that Nameless was attacked.”

“Yes ma’am, that is correct. It seems that an hour after your departure from the base with majority of the forces stationed there, some Spider Legion remnants assaulted the prison as the caravan transporting the human departed for Canterlot. A total of seventy six casualties have been reported, and it’s presumed that the rest were all taken prisoner, as they are unaccounted for. This includes Captain Armor and the human.”

Twilight gasped in shock as she heard the numbers.

“Oh my... What about Spike?!” she demanded. “Do you know what happened to him?!”

Blade Edge gave her a sympathetic look.

“Also unaccounted for,” he reported. “However, his body was not found among the others. It is likely that he was among those taken prisoner, and is still with Captain Armor.”

Twilight took a deep breath.

“Thank heavens...”

Celestia meanwhile was deep in thought. While it was bad that Shining Armor had been taken captive, what had her worried was that the spiders probably had Hayato. Dealing with a human was volatile at the best of times, but now her enemies had him and they were not exactly known for treating their prisoners well. The last thing she needed was another human going on a rampage because of their negligence.

“How exactly did we come by this information?” she questioned. “If all of the soldiers are either dead or captured, then how do we know about this at all?”

“That would be due to Agent S, of the Equestrian Secret Service,” Blade Edge answered.

He motioned to the side, where an unassuming earth pony was standing that somehow none of them had noticed before he was pointed out. Upon being introduced, he then stepped forwards towards the lieutenant and lashed out with a strong kick to the throat, causing him to collapse to the floor.

In an instant, Celestia wrapped her magic around the agent and lifted him into the air. She had no idea why he just attacked, but she was determined to make sure it did not happen twice.

“Stop that right now!” she demanded, “Why did you just attack my lieutenant?”

While she wasn’t using the royal Canterlot voice, her tone carried a weight and force to it, to the point the other seven ponies in the room actually cringed. However, the earth pony it was directed towards did not even bat an eye, and kept his same stoic demeanor.

“Sorry ma’am, but he required punishment for revealing the existence of the E.S.S. to un-approved individuals. Had you not stopped me, he would have been executed on the grounds of high treason.”

Celestia closed her eyes and sighed. The E.S.S. were very loyal and very strict. They didn’t remain a secret for all of these years without squashing any and all possible leaks. She lowered the agent to the ground and and released him.

“I’m the ruler of this land, and I decide what is treason. The element bearers here before you are renowned heroes, and have earned my express permission to know of this secret. Lieutenant Blade Edge shall be pardoned for his slip-up, but shall be reprimanded by myself, not by you or your superiors.”

“Yes ma’am. I will inform HQ as soon as our meeting is concluded, and I also suggest you send the Lieutenant to the infirmary. He may not be able to speak for a week unless treated immediately. The initial blow was meant to silence, not kill.”

Celestia nodded in agreement, brought in several soldiers to carry Blade Edge back to the infirmary. Once they were all alone again, Celestia continued the conversation.

“How did you discover all of this, agent? I don’t recall assigning any of you to this situation.”

“We looked into it ourselves, ma’am. Since you left us to operate autonomously for the past century or so, we’ve had to take our own initiative in organising missions. When the human was captured, I was deployed to keep an eye on the situation. Unfortunately I arrived too late to stop the capture, and instead made it a priority to inform you as to what was happening, so a rescue mission could be mounted to retrieve the captured. I have located the area where the Legion’s base is located, and have it marked down on the map on the mission table.”

“Ahm sorry ta interrupt, princess. But what in tarnation is the E.S.S.?” Applejack asked.

“Oh, sorry. The E.S.S. stands for ‘Equestrian Secret Service’. They are an agency that answers only to myself and Luna. At least I think they also answer to Luna. They handle all of our less than public operations.”

“So you you guys are spies?” Rainbow simplified.

“Basically.” Agent S shrugged.

“That is awesome!”

“We need to go and save my brother immediately!” Twilight reminded. “Who knows what horrible things they could be doing to him?!”

Celestia gently put a wing around Twilight to comfort her.

“Stay calm, Twilight. Right now is a time for cooler heads to prevail, and to think rationally. We will rescue him, but we can’t be rash about this.”

While she didn’t like the thought of waiting, Twilight knew her mentor had a point, and thus she simply nodded in understanding.

“How much information do you have regarding their base?” Celestia asked.

“Well, I was able to do a quick reconnaissance sweep of the place, and discovered it is actually under construction. They are using a large number of slaves to construct the place, and currently it seems they are only digging out the foundation. There are many other captives there besides the ones taken in the most recent attack, most of them likely civilians taken on the roads through the desert.”

“Any recommendations on how we would go about the rescue?”

The agent nodded and began going over a plan of attacking, involving the use of three separate strike teams and an aerial assault from a military airship. During this process, he used several models and magical displays to make it simpler for Celestia to explain to the actual military, as he would not be able to go over the plans with them himself.

After ten minutes, Celestia had committed the plan to memory and was ready to organise the attack herself. Before the agent could leave, Celestia pulled him aside.

“Agent, as embarrassing as this is to admit... I cannot remember how to contact the E.S.S. After running the country for so long by myself, I admit it had slipped my memory... Could you please remind me the procedures for how?”

“Understandable, ma’am. You simply need approach any mirror in your castle and give it the vocal password, preferably not within earshot of the peasantry, and it will patch you through to the commander. This should work for any mirror in the castle, as long as it was not fitted in the last day, as it takes at least a day to send an agent to magically treat your mirrors.”

Tampering with her mirrors without her even being aware of it. Now that took skill.

“And the password is...?”

“The same as it’s always been.”

“Oh. Oh right. Thank you.”

Agent S took his leave shortly afterwards, while Celestia then left to fetch Luna, Cadence, and her best military strategists so that she could begin going over the plans with them. Hopefully, they could rescue the captives and avoid the Third setting off another war if they were fast.

I can only hope we are able to get there in time.

***

Abstract Theory and Blueblood stood back to back as a sea of angry soldiers surrounded them on all sides. When they were both sent flying off the balcony, they had landed in the military training yard, where they had just finished putting together a large float for the military parade that was going to be taking place the following week.

To make matters worse, they had completely destroyed said float in the ensuing fight before they realized they were surrounded by very angry soldiers. In a decision that would hopefully keep them alive long enough to kill each other, they agreed to a temporary armistice until they were away from the soldiers.

One of the many soldiers grew impatient with the standoff and lashed out at Blueblood, attempting to knock the prince out with a training sword he he had retrieved from a pile. He was unsuccessful as he was deflected by a piece of timber Blueblood had retrieved. The same piece of timber was then used to knock the soldier unconscious.

As soon as he hit the ground, all hell broke loose. From every direction the soldiers attacked at once. Blueblood and Abstract found themselves in a flurry of limbs and weapons as they were forced to fight back several trained military professionals at once.

Granted, they were only using training weapons, intending to subdue the pair that they saw as an unauthorised and potentially dangerous presence, but both of them still wanted to avoid that outcome.

“STOP ATTACKING! I’M A FELLOW VETERAN!” Abstract shrieked. “I WAS A WAR MAGE FOR CELESTIA’S SAKE!”

“AND I AM A PRINCE OF THE REALM! GET OFF OF ME, YOU FILTHY COMMONERS!”

Alas, their pleading was ignored. In fact, it only seemed to spur them on. As the two stallions unfortunately forgot, the only two things that the royal guard hated more than the enemies they faced on the battlefield were stuck up Canterlot nobles and the equally stuck up unicorn war mage special forces.

Angrier didn’t necessarily mean stronger though, and many of the more careless guards were knocked out early into the fight as Abstract and Blueblood stole a few training swords for themselves. Unfortunately, the bodies piled up fast, and that left very little room to maneuver. They knew that they needed to split up and hope for the best.

As Blueblood teleported to the far right, Abstract levitated one of the float’s support beams and swung it like a baseball bat, scattering half the soldiers, and knocking a few out. He then charged towards a bewildered looking recruit and spun around, using the momentum to add more power to the buck, which subsequently knocked the young stallion through the air and into the land of dreams.

Off to the side, Blueblood was firing off a barrage of spells that were taking down soldiers left and right. While none of the injuries they received were serious, they were certainly going to be feeling it the next day.

The fight dragged on for twenty minutes, and in the end, the training yard was filled with roughly two dozen unconscious royal guards, and two heavily panting stallions standing in the center, covered in dust and freshly formed bruises.

“To think... they actually attacked... a prince... The nerve of them,” Blueblood said between gasps.

“I think it’s... hilarious... actually,” Abstract responded.

“Oh shut up, you... Don’t think... you’re off the hook... just yet.”

Abstract looked around the courtyard at the bodies surrounding them.

“Jeez... I know I’ve got special training, but where in Tartarus did YOU learn to fight like that?”

He turned around to face Blueblood again, and leapt back as the prince swung at him with a pair of training swords. The things were only made of wood, but they still hurt like hell, and as was demonstrated were still very capable of knocking a pony out cold. Abstract raised two swords of his own to block the next strikes, and held them back with all his might as Blueblood advanced on him, his eyes still alight with fury.

“YOU SHOULD REMEMBER, ABSTRACT, THAT I WAS A SOLDIER TOO!” he shouted as he struggled against the former war mage. “I’M A TRAINED KILLER!”

“YOU’RE A PONCEY RICH GUY WHO SERVED IN A POSITION THAT WOULD NEVER SEE COMBAT TO MAKE THE OTHER NOBLES RESPECT YOU MORE!”

“WITH THE BEST TRAINING THAT MONEY CAN BUY!”

Blueblood lashed out at him again and knocked away Abstract’s training swords with his own.

The prince reared up as Abstract backed away as quickly as possible, and prepared to strike again. Until, that is, Abstract just decided to go without weapons and hit the prince head-on with a magical energy blast that slammed into his body, and sent him soaring through the air and into a pair of large wooden doors.

The doors were knocked straight off their hinges, and Blueblood vanished into the interior of the castle. Abstract picked up his own pair of training swords, and rushed off after him.

***

Hayato stared up at the sun, trying to glare away the heat that had been making him miserable ever since he was first captured. It wasn’t too long after the Doctor was taken away that he discovered that he could actually look at the sun without it hurting. Everyone else that he saw were covering their eyes from the sun. This was just another factor that proved that he really did possess powers. Otherwise he would have been blind by now.

Since none of the spiders were coming anywhere close to them, Hayato figured that he might as well take a nap. After all, there wasn’t anything else for him to do, and staring at the sun was beginning to lose its entertainment value. After adjusting his body the best that he could, Hayato closed his eyes and began to drift off to the land of dreams... only to be shouted at seconds after he closed his eyes.

“You! Slave number two fifty one! Stand up! It is time for you to be brought before the centurion on the charges of high murder of a Legion soldier. If you resist, we will cut off your legs and drag you there by force.”

Hayato opened his eyes and found seven spiders standing before him, armed to the teeth. While he had almost accepted the fact that he had some powers, he also accepted the fact that he was outnumbered and severely underarmed compared to the soldiers before him, and besides that, he was never the best at conflict anyway. Now was a good time keep his head down and do as he was told.

“Him? I helped kill the spider too!” Shining protested.

“Shut up, slave! Nobody cares!”

Shining began to argue further, but gave up when everyone blatantly ignored anything he tried to say, including Hayato. Especially Hayato.

“So who is this centurion person, anyways?” Hayato asked.

“Centurion Decerus. He is highest ranking legionary in the camp right now. And he will also be conducting your trial.”

“Man, you guys are really going to play this Roman thing out, aren’t you?”

“What are you talking about, slave?”

“...It’s nothing,” Hayato replied, growing tired.

The soldiers removed the fetish that had previously been there and attached it to the manacles that were now around Hayato's wrists. A new one was placed on some chains that were latched around Shining’s neck.

“Alright, let’s move out,” the one that seemed to be in charge ordered.

They began to drag Hayato and Shining along towards what seemed to be the edge of the encampment. This confused Shining, as most of the officers tended to be located at the center of the camps, so that they could be closer to the main operations.

They soon passed the outskirts of the camp, right next to where the closest slaves were still digging the holes. Most of them though were further out into the desert, as this close to the camp almost the whole place was already dug up.

“Oh look, empty desert. Haven’t seen that before,” Hayato muttered.

“Quiet slave, we are almost there.”

Coming around the outside of the camp, they then came across what seemed to be a hastily constructed stage. There were roughly thirteen soldiers on stage, and another thirty or so could be seen further out into the desert, herding slaves the direction of the stage. In the middle of the stage, a large black spider that Hayato and Shining recognised as the one that spoke to them by the watering hole earlier that day looked in their direction.

Soon a large number of slaves, even more than they had actually seen digging out in the desert, had all gathered in a large crowd before the stage. Spike and Gilda could be seen on the far side of it. There were also a large number of spiders gathering behind and around the crowd, cutting off any possible escape route except straight up, and all the pegasi and griffins had their wings tied anyway.

Many slaves looked over to the pair as Hayato and Shining were marched up to the front of the stage before the black spider. It was here that Shining was suddenly pushed into the crowd and ordered to stand in front of the stage, so that he could have a ‘front seat view of the show’.

Hayato was summarily led up to the stage and brought face to face with the most menacing creature he had ever seen in his life. He was easily seven feet tall, his armor gleamed in the sunlight, and venom dripped from his mouth. They stared at each other in silence for a long time. A silence that was eventually matched by the rest of the gathered crowd.

“So, this is the abomination that dared to strike out against us?” the centurion questioned. “The one who had the gall to kill one of our fine soldiers?”

“Yes sir, he killed Marianus,” one of the other nearby spiders reported.

“Hmmmm... Marianus,” he said in a deep voice. “Yes, I did not like him much. He was far too mouthy for one of his station. And weak for being beaten by such lowly creatures. We are better off without him.”

“So does that mean...” Hayato began.

“However,” the spider continued, “we cannot allow slaves to act above their stations either. We must set precedent, lest others try what you have done. And I did warn that rebellion would be met with death. Therefore, I deem that your punishment shall be death by beheading. Pull him to his knees.”

“Wait! Hold on a minute!” Hayato shouted as he was pushed onto the ground.

One of the spiders drew out his blade and raised it high in the air.

“On this day, I, Centurion Decerus, do sentence you to death,” he said with finality. “Any last words?”

“Yes. I hate you, I hate spiders, I hate ponies, and this desert can suck me.”

***

On the other side of the camp, another centurion approached with an entourage of a dozen other spiders, visiting from another construction site further into the desert.

“Hmm...” he muttered as he wandered between the tents and crudely constructed huts. “This place is deserted... The troops must all be gathered for some kind of event.”

Given the time of the day, the construction of the new base should have otherwise been in full swing. Yet there wasn’t a soul to be seen, save for himself and the soldiers he had arrived with.

“Spread out and search the encampment,” he ordered. “I want to know where everyone is. Could just be an event going on, but we can’t rule out an enemy presence.”

“Sir.”

The soldiers saluted in unison, and began to comb the encampment for any sign of their missing brothers. It did not take long for one of the scouts to find most of the other century on the far side of the camp, gathered before a stage for an execution. He scuttled back as quickly as possible, reporting his findings.

The visiting centurion quickly regrouped all the other spiders under his command, and together they marched towards the edge of the base to catch the show for themselves. They approached the assembly from the side of the camp, finding a wall of other legionaries in their way, blocking the escape routes of a crowd of slaves who were also being forced to watch.

It looked to be an execution that they were gathered for, but the poor soul about to be condemned wasn’t immediately visible from where they were stood. At that moment, one of the nearby spiders from the Decerus’s legion noticed them, and turned to face them.

“Centurion Rory,” he greeted. “We were not expecting you here.”

“That’s because this is a surprise visit. An issue came up at the main headquarters, and the high general was very insistent that I personally make Centurion Decerus aware of it. Enough of that, though. What’s going on here?”

“Executing a rebellious slave from our new batch. They killed a legionnaire while they were meant to be working. Centurion Decerus wishes to make an example of him.”

“...Really? Who would be so bold?”

“Some kind of mutant diamond dog, we think.”

Rory turned his attention back up to the stage, and saw the prisoner come into view as Centurion Decerus stepped back and another spider came forward and raised a battleaxe in preparation. In that split second, Rory was more terrified than he had ever been in his entire life.

The Nameless One himself could have dropped out of the sky at that moment, and the situation would have still been more manageable than this.

He tried to rush for the stage.

“STOP, YOU FOOLS!” he shouted.

The axe swung down towards the human’s neck, but it was not to be. Before it even got close, the seemingly helpless human shattered the chains that bound it, rolled out of the way of the strike, and kicked the axe embedded in the stage straight back up into his executioner’s chest.

The reaction of the other guards was immediate. All of them leapt on him at once, attempting to dogpile the eldritch demon from beyond their universe. Rory didn’t even see what exactly happened. All he knew was that one moment they were jumping towards him, swords out and ready to kill, and the next second there was yellow gunk being sprayed into the air all over the camp.

“Retreat” was too weak an order in this situation.

“RUN! RUN AWAY! EVERYBODY RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!”

***

It had all happened in a second. It was just like in Hoofington. Hayato wasn’t specifically trying to do anything, other than hoping that he wouldn’t die. But almost like muscle memory, he’d dodged the axe and somehow managed to accidentally kill his executioner at his own execution.

Then the others had tried to all jump on him at once. The spiders could jump several times their own height, and they had all shot through the air towards him, each individual one pointing at least four swords in his direction. In any normal circumstance, he’d have been dead in seconds. Instead, he’d grabbed the executioner’s axe off the floor without hesitation, swung it upwards, and sliced them all in half in a single swing.

In the blink of an eye, they all went down. The bodies hit the floor, while viscous yellow liquid sailed through the air in an arc from where he’d cut them, and spattered over a shocked crowd of both legionaries and slaves.

Just like Hoofington, his body seemed to be reacting the moment he had a thought, like his mind and body were in perfect unison. And also just like in Hoofington, the results were almost physically sickening. He had no doubt he would have vomited again had he actually eaten anything he could bring up again.

In the distance, he could have sworn he heard a voice ordering everyone to run away. The slaves though definitely made no such move. They all stood, transfixed by the scene.

“Kill him! Kill him now!” shouted Decerus with a mixture of anger and fear.

Two more soldiers dove at Hayato from either side, swinging their swords. But to him, they may as well have been in slow motion for all the good it was doing them. He weaved between them, causing them to stab each other through the head. Two more bodies fell.

Before he had come to Equestria, Hayato had never killed another sentient creature before in his life. Sure, he had occasional angry thoughts, but they were never something he acted on. He’d been expecting to feel great regret when he’d ended Marianus’s life, but these spiders weren’t human. They were monsters. And he shed no tears for slain monsters.

Hayato jumped backwards again as another sword narrowly missed him. He hadn’t even realised that it was coming, and yet he still dodged it. The sense of threat or mortal peril was gone. Instead, he now realised that the giant arachnids slashing at him with multiple swords now only made him feel... irritated.

He hadn’t been in this land for long, and he had already had been chased by a mob, imprisoned, made a slave, nearly executed, and now he had glorified insects trying to stab him to death. So he felt justified in his anger now, and his current circumstances killed any sense of restraint he had left. If he did have powers, then was going to use them.

More legionnaires attacked. One made a move from the side and lost a few legs for his troubles. Hayato was growing accustomed to how his body now reacted. It was like he wasn’t even the one fighting, and it was all on autopilot. Fortunately, this time he wasn’t doing any more acrobatics to disorient him further.

And while the soldiers were all thinking of professional military maneuvers, Hayato was trying to recall every action movie he had ever seen to try and save his own life. The spiders seemed to come up with a plan they liked, and all the remaining legionnaires save for Decerus surrounded him in a large circle.

They then all jumped into the air at him, all of them brandishing all eight swords and spinning at an almost impossible speed. They were like helicopter blades, and the human didn’t doubt for a second that they could decapitate him in seconds.

Many in the crowd cringed, knowing what was going to happen. This was a maneuver used by the Legion in the war. It left no room for a counterattack, nor was there a much of a chance to dodge it, especially since there were multiple attackers coming from all sides at once.

Hayato defied their expectations however. He ducked as spinning spiders began to make their move and grabbed the closest one by a leg. The legionnaire’s momentum betrayed him, and he was left helplessly spinning around as the human he was meant to be killing instead turned him into his own personal sawblade of doom.

Hayato flipped him sideways so that the swords spun upwards into the underbellies of the airborne spiders instead of at him. Despite their best efforts to defy gravity, the spiders all fell right into the counterattack and were cut into a fine paste of blood and meat. A paste that splattered everywhere, and coated the crowd of slaves that were still gathered before the stage.

Even the spider that Hayato was spinning was not spared, as the blades of the others sliced him up too, covering Hayato in the gunk as well.

Out in the crowd, a young pegasus colt nudged his horrified mother’s leg as the spider blood splashed over them.

“Mommy? What is this?” he asked innocently.

The disturbed mother’s face went green as she looked down at herself.

“It’s... applesauce, dear,” she lied.

“Oh, okay,” replied the colt.

The mare then watched as he scooped up some of it with a hoof and then licked it.

“Mommy, I think the apples were rotten.”

She immediately fainted.

Back up onstage meanwhile, Hayato dropped the last spider. He turned back to the crowd, and then saw that the spiders that had been gathered behind them to prevent weren’t rushing into battle to assist in the attack, but could instead be seen fleeing into the distance. They’d all just ran off into the desert in different directions like a panicked herd of cows.

One of them though, he recognised. Centurion Decerus’s needlessly flashy armour made him an easy target to spot in amongst the crowd of darkly coloured spiders, and he hadn’t even gotten far. He was just on the other side of the crowd, having clearly gone through them to escape rather than around them like a smarter individual would have done.

Not wanting him to get away, Hayato picked up a sword and raised it over his head, holding it like a dart or a spear.

“Out of the way!” he warned.

The crowd parted as he instructed, and he chucked the sword at the fleeing spider. It spun horizontally through the air like a shuriken, and Hayato watched as it sawed off all of his legs. A few griffins and diamond dog slaves near the back of the crowd immediately jumped on the fallen centurion, taking the opportunity to enact some mob justice and tear him apart themselves.

Hayato took a deep breath and looked around at the carnage he had caused. It seemed so unreal, like something out of movie. He knew he was going to need new clothes, as he was covered in the innards of his makeshift weapon and drenched in its blood. The slaves all just stared up at him in bewilderment.

Nobody could believe what they had just witnessed. More than one pony was bowing at him. Whether they bowed out of fear or reverence, he didn’t know. He took the opportunity to strike a heroic pose.

“Yeah. I’m awesome.”

And then Shining Armor jumped up onto the stage and pointed at him, a big grin plastered on his face.

“I FUCKING KNEW IT!”

The End.

Author's Note

This chapter has been a long time coming. But it is finally finished. I know it has almost been six months since the last one, but shit happens and you have to deal with it. As you may have notice, it got a little fucked up in that last scene. That is the product of writing at five in the morning with very little sleep. I did it for you. You made me this way!

As I stated in a blog about forever ago, I am going to begin recommending stories for you all to read. You aren’t obligated to, but I am just trying to use this story’s popularity to spread the love to others stories that need it. If you wish to add a story to be possibly recommended, then head on over to this blog here. Here are the three I am going to reccomend this chapter. They are short, but sweet. As always, leave your comments below and I will ignore them until I don’t have anything else to do!

The Envelope by Gold.
Slender by Armalite.
Melting Snow by Stormsoul22.

Editor’s notes:
I also apologise for the lateness of the chapter. I shouldn’t have whipped Draven so much. I assumed it was working as a motivator, but after awhile he started enjoying it, and I didn’t know what else to do to get him to write. Sorry, guys!

Next chapter: At the Gala!

Interlude 0: Powerthirst

It had been hours since the massacre at the stage, and Hayato found himself wandering the remnants of the Spider Legions camp. Once armed, several soldiers tried to chase down the fleeing spiders, but they had already gotten too far of a head start.

Shining Armor had been rather smug about the entire ordeal, finally having irrefutable proof that Hayato possessed powers. Unfortunately he couldn’t do anything about it. Especially since it was thanks to Hayato that they were all freed.

Night had fallen relatively fast after the failed execution, and since nobody was sure where they were in the desert, it seemed safest for all the former slaves to relax at the camp, and discover a way back to civilization the next day.

Luckily for all who remained at the camp, the spiders had been too busy fleeing to take anything from the actual camp itself, and they were perfectly fine on supplies to survive for at least several months in the desert.

Hayato found himself relatively alone among his wanderings. Even if he was the one to free everyone, they were all still afraid of what he was. The only one who really spent any time with him had been Remus, before being pulled back to his pack by Fido. Even the Doctor had disappeared to parts unknown probably back in his Tardis, on wild adventures.

After getting bored of sitting atop random sand dunes, he finally decided to head back to the tent he would be staying in for the night. It turns out, nobody was brave enough to suggest that they should get the Centurions instead of him. He didn’t even ask for it, they all just seemed too afraid to attempt to take it.

Noticing that all the tents that had been near his had been moved, he simply rolled his eyes and went inside. It was fine by him if they wanted to stay far away, associating with ponies hadn’t had favorable results anyways. As soon as he was out of here, he was going to focus on finding a way to get home.

Hayato threw himself on the rather large and plush bed, and breathed a sigh of relaxation. While he hated the Centurion for working him to the bone and trying to kill him, he had to appreciate that the spider had good taste in furnishings. He sat up however, when he felt something poking him in the side.

Looking down, saw an unopened bottle of what looked to be high quality whiskey.

Now this is what I’m talking about. Finally this world has something in it that I can appreciate.

As he began to unscrew the cap from the bottle, Hayato heard a knocking on the post, just outside of his tent. Setting the bottle back down he walked over to the tent flap and opened it up. What he saw standing there, made his jaw drop.

It was another human. But this wasn’t just any other human, it was the First.

“You...you! How the hell are you here?” Hayato asked, as eloquently as he could at the moment.

“Do you mind if I come in?” Anthony asked, before pushing his way into the tent anyways.

Hayato followed in after him, stunned that he was facing another human, one that was supposed to be dead.

“Nice place you got here. It’s very....spacious?” stated Anthony, not really sure how to describe it.

Finally snapping out of his stupor, Hayato was back on edge, and edged closer to the sword that was in there.

“I’m going to ask again, how are you here? You are meant to be dead.”

“Technically I am dead. I can make myself corporeal in this world for a little bit. It’s draining on me, but I think it is worth it. As for why I’m here, it is because of you”

“What do you mean because of me?” he asked, both confused and suspicious.

“In the afterlife, I saw what you did down here, and I was very impressed. I have been watching you ever since your arrival in Equestria. And before you ask, no I do not know how you got here, sorry.” he said sadly.

Hayato moved back over towards his bed and picked up the bottle of whiskey. This was a lot to take in and some whiskey could certainly go a long way towards helping things make a little more sense. Once the drink was poured, he immediately down it, coughing once or twice from the unexpected intensity of the burn.
“Wait a minute, you haven’t been watching me the WHOLE time, have you?” he asked, growing a tad bit nervous at the thought.

“Um...kind of” Anthony replied, face tinged with red.

“Yeah, I’m going to need another drink” Hayato said, deciding to forgo the glass, and drink straight from the bottle.

Anthony moved over and pulled Hayatos hand away, looking him right in the eyes.

“It’s okay, I didn’t really mind, I actually liked watching” he admitted.

Hayato gazed back into the fellow humans eyes, and found that they were glowing a faint pink. He would have grown more suspicious, had he not suddenly found himself growing more and more appreciative of the mans touch.

“Y-you did?” he asked, his breath catching, and breathing growing a bit heavier.

“Yeah...I did” responded Anthony, his eyes glowing with more intensity.

Hayato was too busy staring into the glow to notice Anthony slipping the bottle from his hand and taking a drink, himself. His eyes widened however, when he found that same mouth pressed against his own.

He resisted at first, but his body decided his mind was no longer in charge, and opened his lips to accept it’s new guest. Hayato felt the burn as the alcohol passed from the Firsts mouth, to his own, although that wasn’t the only burn that he was now feeling.

After a moment, he pulled his head back and tried to shake it to clear the fog from his mind.
“W-wait just a minute. What are you doing? I don’t even like guys” he argued, not very convincingly.

“Really?” Anthony smirked, “That isn’t what little Hayato saying”

Hayato went to retort, but was distracted by his body shivering as Anthonys hand ran across his thigh. That same hand then pressed against his chest, lying Hayato flat on his back.

“Shhh don’t worry. Nobody is awake right now. This will be our little secret” he said with a wink.

Hayato said nothing for a long time and then simply gave a nod, and laid back. His breathing picked up as the button of his jeans popped loose, followed by the zipper. The breathing grew heavier and heavier until finally....

Hayto sat straight up in his bed and looked around in a bit of a panic. He took a few deep breaths and looked around making sure he was completely alone in the tent. Once he was, he tossed aside the empty bottle of liquor that he was next to his pillow.

“That’s it. I’m never drinking before bed again.”

The End.

Author's Note

I hope you enjoyed this Danny. I know you had no idea this was coming. That is because

In case you guys aren’t sure, this ISN’T canon to the story at all. This was just here to mess with Danny and those who truly fear this. Even if it’s late, Happy April Fools. Had to pump this out(Ha), very quickly with a headache so there is a good chance that the grammer isn't that great. Some of us must suffer for our art.

Chapter 1: “Can’t decide if telepathic...”

“Without the Second and the First, the holy crusade was over, and had failed, Harmony vanquishing the wrong enemy and dooming the world to a thousand years of darkness. However, that was not the only thing that came out of their defeat. For in Equestria’s darkest hour, there came another, a Third, who was an entity unto himself. He was not like those that came before him. The Third was a different man, described by Second, who foretold his coming, but not his actions. And what he brought upon the world, nopony could have expected.”

-The Rise of the Third, from the Brotherhood of Man’s holy book A Darker World.

***

Softness was what he felt first. He wasn't sure why that was the first thing he noticed but it was the thing that caught his attention. Slowly the man opened his eyes to find himself staring not at the ceiling of his room, but at a vast blue sky. Noticing the absence of a roof, he grew confused and slowly pushed himself up into a sitting position. He rubbed his eyes and looked around once more. He found himself sitting in a field with tall grass everywhere.

Wanting to get a better view, he climbed to his feet. His body screamed against him. He was sore, and felt rather stiff in most of his muscles. He looked around him. Yep, this was definitely a field. Now that he had established where he was for the most part, he wondered how he actually got there. He tried thinking back to what he had been doing the night before, but it was blank. The harder he tried focusing on what happened, the more it seemed to slip away from him.

He sighed to himself. This was not the first time he had woken up in a strange place with no idea how he got there, or what happened the night before, though he had hoped that he had put those days behind him after college. He felt a light thumping in his head which only confirmed his fears. Bringing his hands up to his head he lightly massaged his temples to in an attempt to make the headache go away before it got any worse.

After a few minutes of fighting the oncoming headache, he was ready to go. He knew that standing around in the field feeling sorry for himself wasn’t going to help at all. What he needed was to find somebody that could help him get back home, or at least tell him how far from home he was. Unfortunately all he could see was just grass and a few trees in the distance.

With a resigned sigh, the man looked around in all directions, trying to determine which way was most likely to lead back to civilization. Finding no concrete evidence of civilization anywhere nearby, he picked a direction at random and started walking.

He set off eastwards at a casual pace. The further he went, the more trees he began to see. At first they were just littered about the place and spread further apart, but as he continued eastwards, the tree line became more and more dense, showing he was entering the wilderness.

As far as he was concerned, this was a good thing. He was feeling rather hungry now, and if he the worst came to the worst and he couldn’t reach civilization soon, he could easily scavenge something from the forest. His grandmother had once given him a very useful lesson on which varieties of wild mushrooms were edible. He had never expected to actually find a use for those lesson, but here it was. If he could just find some...

The man walked through the forest outskirts, not going too far in and keeping the field in sight through the trees. He did not want to have to head too far into these unfamiliar woods unless he absolutely needed too. Unfortunately after spending twenty minutes walking along the edge it became apparent that the animals had already picked the area clean for now, and following the trees didn't seem to be leading anywhere.

If there was civilization nearby, it would have to be on the other side of the forest.

Not wanting to waste any more daylight, he began making his way deeper into the cluster of trees, keeping his eyes sharp for wild animals and potential food. Eventually, he began to hear a trickling noise. It was faint at first and he thought that he had just misheard, but slowly the sound became louder and louder. A smile spread across his face as he knew exactly what it was; running water, hopefully clean.

***

A mint green unicorn made her way through town. Hoofington had been welcoming to her in the short while she had been there. Ponies often greeted her in the street, and some would approach to tell her how much they enjoyed her work and how much it meant to them.

Even though she had only moved here recently, she was still constantly approached by fans, and Lyra still blushed whenever someone would ask her for her autograph or say how much they loved her music. She wasn't quite used to being famous yet. She had enjoyed a lot of success in her musical career over the past few years, and was rather well known throughout Equestria by this point. She had even played with the Canterlot Royal Orchestra on several occasions alongside her friend and rival Octavia.

Although she was stopped several times by ponies to speak, Lyra still made good time and, and was fast approaching the edge of town. She was heading to the forest just outside of Hoofington for the day, where she could relax and hopefully draw upon some inspiration for a few new songs. This had always helped in the past. The forest was a place where she could go to reflect and gather herself. One of several, but this was her favorite. The location was one she frequented often since the incident several years ago. One she tried not to think about too much.

Still, the memories were always there. She could remember clear as day when news reached ponies about the arrival of the humans; strange, foreign creatures of great strength and power. It was what had initially caught her interest in them. She remember staying up all night with Bonbon and talking about what the humans might be like and where they came from.

A smile came to her face when she remembered Bonbon suggesting they were aliens from another world. They had both had a good laugh about that one at first, until they both recalled that aliens were in fact real, and could do some scary stuff. The image of Twilight with those huge sharp teeth and serpentine eyes would forever be burned into her memory.

Why was it monsters always attacked just Ponyville? The town had always seemed quite peaceful when she first lived there, but after Nightmare Moon, the floodgates opened and suddenly the town was subject to attacks by some great evil on an almost yearly basis, as if some great cosmic entity had taken issue with them.

That, among other things, was one of the reasons why she had decided to make the move from Ponyville to Hoofington. She wished to enjoy at least one year without part of her home being nearly destroyed...or eaten if it was parasprites. She had tried to convince Bonbon to move with her but the mare loved Ponyville, and had been determined to stay behind.

Although the events left her feeling somber, Lyra was determined to keep making beautiful music. There was something about composing that new song that just made her feel whole. She normally had trouble expressing how she felt, whether it be when talking to ponies in person or sending a letter. However, when she would pick up a lyre her heart and mind seemed to be in sync for once. The fact that others enjoyed her music so much was just a bonus.

Casually, Lyra used her magic to pull her lyre out of her saddlebags. She plucked the strings one by one to make sure they were in tune. Once she was satisfied with the sound began to play a simple melody. It was nothing too special, just something to break the silence as she traveled. The calming chords seemed to relax the nearby wildlife, that would normally get tense whenever anypony entered their woods.

Soon she was walking in tune with the lyre and letting the music flow through her. Trusting her body to remember the path, she closed her eyes, only opening them occasionally to note on her progress through the trees. She’d be near the river soon. Then she’d get some peace.

***

In a few rapid strides, the human found himself standing on the bank of a slow moving river. He had not really noticed it before but his lips felt like sandpaper. No matter how much he licked them, they seemed to keep drying again in the wind. He swept his gaze left and right, looking for an embankment without too much mud where he could get a drink. Spotting one, the man quickly made his way to the waters edge and sat on his knees.

Bending over he cupped his hands and brought some of the water up to his mouth. The sensation left him feeling better for the moment, but then he felt something watching him. Something very close by. Slowly, he looked up and found himself staring into the face of a huge scaly yellow reptilian creature, which glowered at him through huge green eyes.

The man stared at the creature for a moment in shock. It was bad enough that he had allowed an animal to sneak up on him, but what was worse was that this thing was definitely not any animal he had ever seen before. It had several long legs which all ended in webbed feet, and what appeared to be parts of a shell on its back.

The feature that caught his attention most however, was the weird brown growth on top of the creature’s head, an indentation in the thing’s skull that had filled up with water. Slowly his eyes widened at the realization of what the beast was.

As quickly as he could, he began to back up the embankment to get away from it. He was confused. Logic told him that there was no way this thing was a real live kappa. After all, those were just stories, weren’t they? Just old Japanese folk tales that grandma used to tell him in his youth to keep him from raking around the cupboards.

However, he could not deny what he was looking at, especially as the supposedly mythical creature screeched and charged at him.

***

It was a beautiful sunny day out and Celestia found herself taking a stroll through her garden. She looked up at the cloudless sky and smiled. The weather pegasi informed her that the skies would be cloud free for the rest of the week, to make up for the accidental thunderstorm that had plagued Canterlot recently.

They had yet to figure out what went wrong, but promised it would not happen again. It was an easy mistake. Over her rather long lifespan, the princess had learned that accidents would happen, and being upset did not help anypony. She just found it easier to take it all in stride.

In the last few years, she had found it harder and harder to get these rare moments of time to herself. There had been so many troubles in recent years that she was always left busy, usually with something involving a reconstruction effort of some kind. Things were always getting damaged in whatever new crisis would spring up.

The worst was the war with the Spider Legion. Undoubtedly the greatest tragedy to strike Equestria since the dark times. Entire coastal cities, thousands of ponies, there one day, gone the next. She and her sister had personally attended the funerals of all those who died, and had overseen the relocation of the survivors. That alone had taken almost a year of work, and the country had still not fully recovered.

Not wanting to dwell on sad things she thought back to something happier. The letter she had received the previous night from Twilight Sparkle.

Dear Princess Celestia,

I am diligently continuing my studies in magic, and more importantly into friendship. I have learned so much over these years, but I know there is much left to learn. I don’t have a friendship report for you this time, but I was messaging you to say hello and wonder if it would be alright for my friends and I to stay with you in Canterlot for a few days. Dash’s birthday is coming up soon and we are taking her to see the Hydras, her favorite hoofball team. I thought it would be a good time to catch up with you. I also would like to say that Spike is the most wonderful, hardworking, and loyal dragon ever, and you should let him snack on some gems from the treasury.

Your Faithful Student,

Twilight Sparkle

Celestia was more than happy to let them stay, and got a good laugh at the little dragons addition, that she was quite sure that Twilight knew nothing about. It was adorable, and she decided to play dumb and give him a little treat when he arrived. She was grateful to him for allowing her to keep in such easy contact with her favorite pupil.

However, the princess's moment of joy was cut short as she sensed something that she hoped she would never feel again. A distant sensation, something she picked up with senses that she didn't know she had. It was like something between thoughts and a smell, just the vaguest hint of the presence of something terrible, carried on the winds. Any happiness or feeling of calm that she had previously felt was now gone, replaced by a fear that made her blood run cold and her body shiver. Only one creature could ever make her feel like that. There was a human in Equestria.

***

A guttural growl emanated from the kappa as it began to push its way through the water, heading straight for its victim. All around him were twigs and pebbles, but nothing that could be used as a viable weapon against the beast. It never once dawned on him to run away as he was torn between his fear and curiosity over the creature in front of him.

He furrowed his brow as he tried to remember what the stories said about defeating a kappa. All he could remember at the moment was it involved water, which wasn't much help. While thinking of a way to beat the creature, it lunged at him and made a swipe at his legs. He saw it coming and was able to move out of the way quite easily.

The water demon was not daunted by a simple miss and kept coming at the man with a flurry of relentless swipes. If he did not do something, he feared he would die. Not knowing what else to do, he lashed out and kicked the little thing with enough strength to knock it off balance. This sent it skittering across the ground.

The man stood there waiting for the kappa to get back up again, and when it didn’t he became confused. Why hadn’t it come back after him? He had only pushed it down.

It was then he remembered his grandmother’s words. A kappa could not move without water in the crevice of their head. He groaned. He should have remembered that sooner.

In his own defense, he never thought he would ever actually have come face to face with a kappa. Those creatures were nothing but myths, or so he had thought. Now that the thing couldn’t move, the man made his way closer to it to examine it. He definitely had to take this back to town with him. People were going to want to study this thing and find out more about it. He had discovered a whole new species! This was some serious stuff right here. He could get rich off this.

That led to a series of other thoughts that he wished hadn’t crossed his mind. If kappas were real, then what were the chances that other creatures from his grandmother’s stories were real? Hell, what if ALL of Japanese mythology was real? If that was true, then they were well and truly fucked. Japanese mythology had some really scary shit.

Nervously, he licked his lips and looked at the trees all around him. Suddenly the forest was a much more grim place in his eyes, and he would be happy once he made his way out.

***

Making her way through the woods, Lyra was at peace. The anger from before had quickly melted away by the sounds of her lyre and the beautiful trees. Spring was Lyra’s favorite time of year as everything looked so fresh and vibrant. Even as a filly she found it hard to stay upset when surrounded by so much vibrant life. She considered spending the entire day in the woods; she had certainly brought enough food to do so.

As little rabbits hopped by, she thought about somepony else that would enjoy the scenery here as much as she would. She would have to send a letter to Fluttershy and invite her for a visit tomorrow; the poor mare could stand to get out more often. A soft smile spread across her face as she heard the familiar trickle of the stream up ahead. Yeah, today was going to be a good day.

Then, she saw him.

She could not believe her eyes. Standing there over the body of a fallen kappa was a human. At first she thought Lord Second had escaped, but that was quickly dismissed, as the human looked nothing like him. No wrinkles, and this human's skin had a golden undertone. What surprised her was the mane! It was black like Lord First's, if a bit darker, but very long and tied with a piece of string in the middle.

Once the initial shock of seeing a human wore off, an intense joy spread throughout her body. Where before a look disbelief had been, she now wore the biggest smile she had ever had. She approached the river edge and took a deep breath. She had to make it quite clear from the beginning that she was a friend. Unlike those stupid ponies that had attacked the last humans who visited on sight.

“Greetings most noble human! I welcome you to Equestria!” she shouted.

***

Sunlight streamed through tightly bound curtains, illuminating a dark room that was trying to keep the light out. Most ponies would be out and about at this time of the day and enjoying the sun, not fighting it with thick curtains. However this room did not belong to most ponies. These were the private quarters of Luna, princess of the night.

The princess was resting for now. As Celestia slept through the night, so to did she sleep through the day, waiting until it was time for her to perform her nightly duties. However, today a few rogue sunbeams breaking through between the curtains seemed to be against her getting any rest at all. She tossed and turned in bed, and tried to hide away from it. Anypony listening close enough would hear mumblings that almost sounded like ‘stupid sun’ and ‘night forever’.

After a few more moments of fidgeting though, her figure went still. It was almost as if the occupant didn’t have the ability to move at all. Under the covers of the bed, Luna's eyes were wide open. What she was feeling couldn’t be right. There was no way that she could be sensing a human of all things. But...there was no mistaking that feeling. That dread that filled her soul. The Second must have escaped.

She knew she had to move, but her body was locked in fear. Nothing else could have such an effect on her, but humans were special. She had good reason to fear them. They were the only things that had ever actually managed to inflict permanent harm on her sister.

Wait, Tia!

She pulled her head from the covers and looked at a giant hourglass on the other side of her room, and realized it was around the time that Celestia took her walk through the garden. Concern for her sister outweighed any for herself, and she leapt out of bed and made her way to the balcony. A flash of her horn, and the doors blew open. She opened her wings and took flight, and headed for the garden. She could only hope that she wasn’t too late.

***

He could not believe his eyes. Standing right in front of him was...a pony. Not that ponies were rare creatures, but they didn’t usually come in green....or speak...or have horns on their forehead...or...wait. She had some kind of mark on the flank.

“Oh, wait. Don’t tell me. I know what these are,” he thought to himself, “I just can’t seem to help it. Work follows me everywhere.”

Yep. My Little Pony. Those fucking things that took up most of his work week. They were a major Hasbro property, and working for the marketing department, that meant most of his time revolved around the damn things, because for some reason they were insanely popular. Apparently due to some weird fan base of man children they had picked up from the cartoons. He would never understand some people.

“I-is everything alright?” the green unicorn asked him.

Act natural. Don’t tell her she’s a fictional character and don’t stare. Oh God, her face. That smile. It’s so fucking creepy! Don’t stare. Oh God she’s still doing it. Don’t stare.

He was staring. Lyra’s smile began to die down.

Sweet Jesus, thank you.

“Have I upset you?” she asked, now looking upset.

Oh god, it’s worse than the smiling. Don’t cry for the love of all things, don’t cry.

The man fidgeted where he was standing. He had no idea what to do. This was worse than dealing with the kappa. At least with the kappa all he had to do was push it and the problem was solved. Last time he pushed over someone who talked to him though, he was sent home for the day, and his mother shouted at him for it. That was not a pleasant memory.

Well, she seemed to want to talk to him but what could he say? There was no possible combination of words he could make that would take this conversation anywhere pleasant. He could tell this was going to end with one of them running away screaming somehow.

“Who am I kidding?” he thought to himself, “I’m not going to run away screaming. I have a kappa. If things get bad, I’ll use it to boat down the river and escape. That would work, right?”

“If you are upset with me I am sorry. I had no hoof in what happened to the others,” she said nervously. It hadn’t dawned on her that he might be upset over his friends being attacked.

Others? What others? Were there other humans here? Or were they my friends? Did we go out drinking together and fall through a Stargate or something? I could easily see Joe pissing off a bunch of ponies and get bucked to death. He never was an animal person.

“I for one welcomed our new human overlords.”

Actually, that sounds more like Keith.

“It was the royal guards that killed Lord First!” she tried to explain.

Okay, now he had to speak up.

“You keep using words I recognise, but not in any combination that makes sense to me. Please stop for a moment and let me recover."

He could practically see little cogs turning inside her head before she threw herself to the ground in a bow.

“I am so sorry! I did not realize you had already been attacked. I shall stay silent.”

Attacked? What is she talking about? That kappa hardly qualifies as an attack. Hell now it feels like I pushed over a little kid. And not even like those annoying little brats in the supermarket. I feel like I just pushed over a toddler, so there’s not even that sense of satisfaction you get when you push over that kid for biting your hand. God, I hate those sorts of kids.

The man ran his fingers through his hair, as if that would help him think. The unicorn before him was now shivering. But there was no way that it was from the temperature, it felt great out.

"Is she actually afraid of me? I’m not the one who has actual magic powers. I think I have more reason to be scared than anyone,” he reasoned.

It was true as well. He was apparently in some whole other world, which if he was right was filled with dangerous mythical creatures, and ponies here were apparently hostile to humans and armed with magic and God knows what else. Things weren't looking good. He had already lost all prospects of trying to get rich through his discovery of the kappa. Now his only objective was to find a way back home as soon as possible. He had no desire to spend any amount of time here.

He also knew he had to resolve this situation right away. There had to be something they could talk about that wouldn’t send the unicorn before him into a panic attack, right? All he had to do was stay away from touchy subjects. Unfortunately he had no clue what those were. He cleared his throat and waited for the mare to look up at him.

“Okay, so how about you tell me where we are?” he asked in a safe and even tone.

“Oh. We are in the Springdale Forest, just outside of Hoofington,” Lyra informed, with her smile returning to her face. However this smile did not hold the same intensity as the previous one.

Hoofington. It took everything in him not to facepalm. The puns, how could he forget about the damn puns? If what she said was true, then that meant he was definitely in Equestria. Of all the places he could have wound up after a night of...whatever it was he did to get here...it would be this place, wouldn’t it? He couldn’t get lucky and get stuck in a dimension full of models and fast cars, could he? Or at least the setting of a less lame work of fiction? Hell, he would have settled if he landed up in the Transformers' world. Those he was at least a fan of. But nope. Land of ponies for this guy.

He sighed and went to ask her another question, before his stomach interrupted him with a rather loud growl. Between the kappa attack and running into the unicorn he had forgotten how hungry he was. Clearly his body did not forget though, and was not against reminding him. Lyra let a giggle before using her magic to lift her saddlebags off of her back and set them on the ground.

Seriously. Actual magic. If this particular pony had not been a friendly one, he would have been screwed.

“Um, if you would like, I have some food with me. I have enough for both of us I’m sure.”

He nodded and sat down on the ground as she began to set up her picnic blanket and food. She might be a fictional character, but he sure hoped the food was real. Damn, that was a weird sentence. How did this happen again? Once it was all spread out before him the food looked perfectly normal. Not hesitating, he reached forward and grabbed a sandwich off the blanket.

He took a bite and chewed on it for a second before spitting it out on the ground beside him. Whatever he just put in his mouth was offensive to his tongue. Was she trying to poison him? No, that was silly. How would she even know what was poisonous to humans anyway? Unless they were telepathic...

Oh fuck, they're telepathic, aren't they?

His reaction brought a worried look to the unicorn's face, but he had not noticed yet.

“What is in this sandwich?” he asked as he removed the top slice of bread.

“I-It's just a daffodil and daisy sandwich...”

Oh right, horse food. His stomach jumped the gun on that one. He put the sandwich back on the cloth. Luckily however there were plenty of fruits such as apples and bananas there. It wouldn’t be as filling as a hamburger, or most other foods for that matter, but he would make the most of it. He picked a fruit at random and began to eat. Neither of them knew what to say, though so they just sat there in silence.

...Can't decide if telepathic...

***

Celestia was in a dead sprint through the maze as she headed for the statue of Lord Second. Normally she would simply fly to the location, but she easily remembered the entire map of the maze. The run would only take seconds for her to reach her destination. However, before she reached that part of the maze, a shadow fell across her.

She looked skyward and saw Luna hovering in place and looking around. Something was off about her, and even from a distance she could see it. Her sister's body was shaking. Celestia realized that Luna must have also sensed the human's appearance, and came to check the statue as well. She unfurled her wings, and with a quick flap joined her sister in the sky.

“Luna, I'm here,” she said as she reached her level.

The alicorn's head snapped around, and visible relief spread across her face.

“Dearest sister, hath that foul abomination set himself free?” she asked in a shaky voice, her panic causing her to revert to archaisms again.

“I was on my way there now to check the statue. Come with me, we will be stronger together.”

Luna nodded and followed her sister to where the statue was kept. Not too long after arriving, the pair saw the statue of the Second standing there. Still in the same pose he had taken before the Elements of Harmony turned him to stone; arms crossed, head bowed, eyes closed, and wincing like he was about to be punched. Even though Luna was relieved that the statue was still there, she couldn’t help but be intimidated by it. Her relief caused her to miss something very obvious, and very important. But her sister didn't.

“We have a serious problem, sister. If Second is still here, then it seems a new human has arrived in Equestria. A third, if you will.”

“Why though? Why must these old demons come back after so long and torment us?” she asked.

“I do not know, but we need to act now. Get word to Shining Armor to round up the soldiers. We are going to need them on high alert. Make sure word does not reach the citizens. We do not want them panicking. I will send for Twilight and her friends immediately. Although I do not wish to put them in more harms way, they will be needed to stop this human before too much damage can be caused.”

Although they were equals in authority, Luna had no problems taking orders from her big sister right now. A thought crossed her mind, and she decided to ask her sister about it.

“What of the Reapers Horn? Shall we get it out as well?”

“No. We are not going to give the human a chance to take it from us. As far as we know, this one doesn't have one of his own. If he doesn't have a horn, he can't hurt us, and if he can't hurt us then we have nothing to fear."

Luna nodded and set off through the sky towards the military wing of the castle. Shining Armor should be training the recruits. Celestia watched her sister leave and took flight again, heading back to her private study, where she kept her quills and parchment. She had to get herself under control before her student arrived. Although she was quite powerful in her own right, Twilight still looked up to her and she did not want to see her like this.

She looked at the scars on her underside as she flew, a reminder of the last time she dealt with a human.

She needed to be strong now more than ever.

***

The sun was hanging low in the sky as Lyra made her way through the woods, with the human at her side. They walked without either of them saying a word. The only thing that broke the silence was their footsteps and Lyra's harp playing a simple, but relaxing tune. Over the last few hours, they had discussed several things. Or rather, she talked about several things while her companion listened. Really though, she was glad she was being of some use to the human, whom she had taken to calling the Third.

He did not seem to mind the name when she first called him that. He seemed almost understanding when she told him that humans were not liked in Equestria. In fact they were hated and feared by most ponies. For some reason the man had laughed at that. It was a short and harsh laugh that sounded like he knew something she didn’t. For the most part, he seemed nice if not a bit quiet, though he still seemed somewhat disturbed. This only added to her confusion on how things went so wrong last time.

She had offered him a place to stay while they figured things out. It relieved her that he accepted her offer. Otherwise it would have been harder for her to find a place for him to stay out of sight. She needed to call the others for an emergency meeting, they were all going to be so happy to hear what she had to tell them. This thought put a little more skip in her step. She felt giddy like a young school filly.

***

The moon was rising by the time they reached the town entrance. They had intentionally dragged out the journey so they could enter the town under nightfall. The Third ran his fingers through his hair again. It was a habit of his to do whenever he felt stressed. What he learned in the last few hours was surprising.

For some reason humans were hated in this world. He had chuckled at the irony of the situation, as there were thousands of humans that loved ponies, even if he didn't count himself among them. It seemed best to stay out of the way of ponies until he could figure out what to do. He made sure not to say anything about where he was from as he had no clue what would happen. He had seen enough sci-fi movies to know that wouldn’t end well.

The little one had taken to calling him the Third. At first it was weird, but she had told him that two others went around calling themselves the First and the Second instead of giving out their names. They must have had a good reason for doing so, and so he decided to just stick with that. Besides, ‘the Third’ had a nice ring to it.

They had made their way easily through the dark streets. Occasionally a drunk pony would stumble by but they always seemed too preoccupied with standing upright to see the human hiding in the shadows. Once at her home she gave him a grand tour. It was impressive, but he was distracted by his own thoughts.

“And, umm, this is the guest room. Feel free to stay here as long as you want,” Lyra had said to him.

She had been rather gracious to him considering the general attitude towards humans here. He gave her an easy smile to show that he was grateful.

“Thank you. I shall see you in the morning,” he said to her simply.

With a smile, his host left the room, and he laid back on the bed. His feet hung over the edge. He supposed it was a bit much hoping that there would be a bed big enough for him when most ponies were half his height. As he curled up on his side, he heard what sounded like paper being crinkled. Sitting up, he reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulled something out. It was an unopened envelope, with a name on it.

Hayato.

It was for him.

He opened it up and pulled out the letter inside.

Hello, Hayato. You must be very confused right now, and that is understandable. I want to first tell you that these ponies, they are real. They have real families and friends. They love, they laugh, they cry, and they die. I want you to keep this in mind as you interact with them. I would like to tell you that I am sorry for what I have done. I hope that one day you will understand and forgive me for my actions. I did it because I cared.

After that the letter just stopped. There was no signature for who wrote letter. Nothing on the back either, and the handwriting was unfamiliar to him. He reread the letter several times before putting it back in his pocket. He was now left with more questions than he had when it first woken up in this world.

Who wrote the letter, and what had they done? Where did he get it from? Why did he need to know this? Why was he even here? There had to be some reason he was randomly thrown into a fictional world, but he had no clue what it was. It wasn't like he had any attachment to it beyond his job...but then again it was a massive coincidence that of all the fictional worlds he was thrown into, it was the one that he worked with the most, whether he wanted to or not. Still though, how did he get here?

The answers, he knew, lied with the other humans. Lyra said there had been two before him. He didn't know anything about the MLP show beyond the bare basics, so all this talk of humans being here was news to him. These other humans, the First and the Second she had called them, probably had the answers he was looking for. She mentioned that the First was dead already, but maybe this mysterious Second could tell him what was going on...if he could find him.

At the foot of his bed, he could hear the soft snores of the kappa from earlier. He had brought it back with him. He just couldn't resist. It was an actual mythical creature, and now he knew how to handle it if it got out of line. Lyra had been reluctant to let him bring it back, but she had quickly buckled on the subject as she seemed to want to keep him happy, and he honestly found the little thing fascinating. Even the kappa itself had been cooperative with him. It was like Pokémon. He kicked its ass, and now it joined him. He always wanted a pet.

With a yawn he pulled the blanket back over himself. Right now he just needed some sleep. Everything else could wait until the morning. Then he could get some answers.

***

Lyra laid back in her bed, excitement still coursing through her after the day's adventure. She could not help but reflect on the events. She had met a real live human. He was even staying the night at her home! The thought alone sent her into a fit of giggles. She felt like a filly again. Bonbon would be so jealous when she found out!

Lyra shot out from under her covers. She had forgotten to tell the others!

Quickly she scrambled out of her bed and made her way over to a large vanity mirror on her dresser. Focusing her magic, she spoke the secret words, and soon her reflection was replaced by a very tired looking white unicorn pony. The pony blinked a few times and then screamed and fell over.

Lyra sighed, but waited patiently. The mirror was a special one that let her connect to any other mirror, as long as the proper spell was cast on it beforehoof. Lyra had found it very useful for keeping in contact with friends who lived a distance away, but it always surprised them when her face suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Rightly so as well. The magic this mirror used was far from common.

“Damn it, Lyra! What have I told you about doing that?!” the annoyed stallion huffed as he pulled himself back up.

“Oh hush, Fancy Pants. I'm glad I caught you before you applied your face mask. You also look odd with it on.”

“It is good for my pores,” he replied indignantly, “Now what could be so important that you would bother me this late?”

Lyra quickly explained the details of what had happened that day to Fancy Pants. He started off shocked, and then went through a range of several amusing expressions, before finally landing on gleeful excitement just like her. He did not say anything for a few moments as his mind processed the information.

“Can I meet him?” he asked.

“Of course you can! I was hoping you could contact the rest of the Brotherhood, and get chariots to pick them all up. I want to hold a meeting at my house, tomorrow if possible.”

“Yes. I will get ahold of them immediately. As for the transportation, I have it covered. I still can’t believe you found him! Is anypony else aware of his presence? We don’t want people freaking out and causing another war.”

“Nopony else knows; I took extra precaution on bringing him here. Just hurry and get ahold of the others before they go to sleep. I shall see you tomorrow.”

“Ah yes, of course. I shall see you tomorrow, Lyra. Farewell.”

Lyra cantered back to her bed, releasing the spell on the mirror as she went. She was feeling much more fatigued than she did before, most likely due to the magical drain the mirror required for longer distances.

Laying her head on her pillow, and feeling exhausted after the spell, she slowly began to drift off to the land of dreams. Her last thought was a curious one.

What do Humans dream of?

And then she was fast asleep.

End.

Author's Note

Hey all, how’s it going? So this is the first of many chapters for Shades of Grey. It had some delays in being written, but it is finally done. I would like to thank my editor, DannyJ, for putting up with my many grammatical errors during the writing of this chapter. Yes, for all you wondering, the man himself is the editor of this story, so you don’t need to worry about it not staying true to the Human universe. This story will not slow down Human in the least bit, as DannyJ’s job as editor comes second to writing the original. If anybody has questions, just leave them below and I will respond.

Editor's notes:

Draven lacks access to my warehouse full of hallucinogenic drugs, but don't think for a minute that means that his story is going to let up with the batshit insanity. I'm still here, motherfuckers, and that means that this story will still fit in a chainsaw juggling clown fighting a grizzly bear somewhere.

Chapter 4: "I am known as Galactus, eater of worlds"

“And they stared, as they bore witness to their best laid plans fail, and realised that their efforts were for nought when faced with the power of a human. The princesses despaired at such a sight, and Elements were in shock. Those few of the Brotherhood who were there to see it, described impossibilities made manifest, as everything they thought they knew was proven wrong. And the Harbinger delighted in every moment of it.”

-The Third Unbound, from the Brotherhood of Man’s holy book, A Darker World.

***

Never. Again. They can get...another damn flier.

Fleetfoot was exhausted. Even though she was one of the top fliers in all of Equestria, possibly the world, even she had limits. She had flown more than fifty miles total within only a few short hours, and she was exhausted.

Once she reached the the makeshift prison, she dropped to the ground. Although, dropping to the ground sounds much more graceful than the painful display of gravity at work that several of the guards witnessed. They were all quite sure that a spine wasn’t supposed to bend the way hers was at that moment.

Groaning more out of exhaustion than pain, Fleetfoot made a valiant attempt to stand up. This resulted in her wiggling her back left leg and nothing else. She realized that she must be a sorry sight at the moment but didn’t care, she was about to take a leaf out of Rainbow’s book and sleep for the rest of the week.

After witnessing the rather pathetic display, two of the nearby unicorn guards decided to help her out, and wrapped her body in their magical aura. The poor mare was simply tired from what they saw, and so they made their way to the medical tent for a magical pick-me-up.

One revitalization spell and ten minute lecture about flight safety later, Fleetfoot was walking on her own again. Unfortunately she wouldn’t be flying anywhere for the rest of the day, but it was all worth it, as she had learned that neither the princesses or the Elements of Harmony had arrived yet. It would give her time to converse with Lord Third before they did.

Remembering Shining Armor’s instructions regarding visitation with the Third, she proceeded to the ‘gate’ of the spell. This required passing a large amount of soldiers who recognized her, and some would ask for her autograph, or cheer that another high ranking officer was here to deal with the ‘human threat’.

It took every bit of her will to not lash out at the ignorant words that many of them were shouting. She instead followed in her master’s peaceful footsteps and forgave them; for they only knew how to fear humans. That is why the Brotherhood existed. They would one day show the ponies of the world how to live in harmony with the humans, and that war wasn’t the only option.

Besides, those were just over excited rookies. At least the veterans were professional enough to keep composure.

Finally she arrived at the barrier. Waiting there for her was a unicorn and, to her surprise, a griffon. Those were rare in the Equestrian military. The difference between the two was amazing. The unicorn was standing tall and at attention while the griffon just seemed bored. She was taking part in one of the largest military operations in Equestrian history, and she looked like she was going to fall asleep.

When the griffon saw Fleetfoot approach, she sighed in relief quite loudly.

“‘Bout time you showed up, featherbrain. I got things to do and this place is boring with a capital B.”

“Operative! Watch your mouth when addressing a superior officer,” the unicorn scolded.

“Or what? You’ll pull the stick out of your ass and beat me with it?” the griffon snapped, attempting to aggravate the pony.

“WHAT DID YOU-” he started, before regaining his composure, “Ahem, sorry for that, ma’am. Are you ready for the interrogation now? We’ll be the ones escorting you through the barrier, when you’re ready.”

“It is not an interrogation, soldier. If you keep treating the human with such a hostile attitude, then he will act in kind, and that’ll just lead to another fight. And we don’t want that do we?”

“N-no ma’am.”

The griffon operative was laughing out loud at the sight of her fellow soldier getting put in his place. The laughter was addictive and even Fleetfoot felt the corners of her mouth tugging upwards a bit.

”Shall we go?” she hinted to the stallion.

Although they were acting more casual a minute ago, the pair straightened up and suddenly became serious. While neither of them knew what the human was truly like, they knew it was dangerous all the same, and so mistakes could not be afforded.

The unicorn’s horn began to glow which resulted in motes of a dust-like substance floating around their bodies, clinging to their coats and feathers respectively. Without hesitation the two guards proceeded to the barrier and without stopping, walked through it as if it weren’t even there. Noticing that she wasn’t following, the two of them turned and faced her expectantly.

Tentatively, Fleetfoot followed through the barrier. The feeling was like nothing she had ever experienced before. The closest comparison she could think of to describe the sensation was like if lightning were being used to gently massage her entire body; it was painless and surreal.

“What was that? I’ve never seen a spell like that before.”

“It was created with the combined effort of Captain Armor and myself,” the unicorn explained, a hint of pride in his voice, “It allows those it is cast on to pass through the barrier unharmed. It is impossible to imitate, as only the captain and I know the exact workings of the spell.”

“She asked for an answer, not for you to brag,” the griffon chided.

Although she was getting on his nerves, the unicorn bit his tongue. If he were to argue with her now, then the human might see it as an opportunity to strike at them. He hoped that Fleetfoot’s idea of a peaceful resolution was a possibility; all of this worrying had to be bad for him.

Walking deeper into the center of the crater, Fleetfoot’s eyes were as big as saucers. The amount of chains and the size of them was insane. If she was being held like this, she would be enraged, but Lord Third was just on his knees, not showing any signs of hostility.

Truly the patience of a god was unparalleled.

As they got close to him, the two guards began to slow down. Fleetfoot kept an air of confidence about her and walked past them, stopping seven feet away from him.

Okay! Acting skills, don’t fail me now!

“Hello human, whom I never met before just now!”

Hayato stared at her like she had just spat on him, and then shouted at the top of his lungs.

“YOU ARE EXTREMELY SUBTLE!”

“I don’t know what you mean, unknown human. How are you doing today?”

“If you change subjects any faster I’m going to get whiplash. What is it that you want? In fact, why are your shadows here?”

“We are here to protect lady Fleetfoot, in case you try to harm her,” said the unicorn without hesitation.

Hayato’s eye twitched in anger.

“Let me get this straight, you horned abomination. You ponies form a mob and chase me, attack me, arrest me, and chain me up like an animal. All the while I am doing nothing to any of you. And after that, you have the audacity to act like I’m the one who’s the problem here?”

“I...uh...well you see...” stammered the unicorn, realizing his error all too late.

“SHINING ARMOR, I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME! GET THIS UNICORN OUT OF HERE BEFORE I BREAK MY FOOT OFF IN HIS ASS!”

He knew that if it came down to it, the unicorn would mop the floor with him. A normal human versus a magic wielding horse was not a fair fight. Still, they still hadn’t figured that out.

***

Back up on the edge of the crater, Shining Armor sighed. Things were not going too well in the interrogation. The worst part about all of it was the fact the human was right. So far he had not made a single aggressive stance towards them. The most violent thing he did was breaking a building with his face, and that wasn’t even intentional from the reports he was getting.

”Sir, what do we do? This one guy getting angry and shouting technically counts as a prison-wide riot.”

Although he wasn’t comfortable with Fleetfoot having one less guard, he wasn’t about to risk the human becoming hostile.

“Bring him out of there and assign him to keeping a watch on the barrier. If he argues or complains, give him three weeks of latrine duty.”

“Yes sir.”

***

Moments later, Hayato saw the unicorn getting escorted away by three other soldiers. With one guard gone, he then turned his attention to the female griffin who raised her claws in the air and backed away.

“You two have your little talk, I don’t care. I was just happy to see him get put in his place twice today. I think I might celebrate.”

Griffins were also mythical creatures, though they were Greek and not Japanese. He recalled there were a few toys related to a number of species seen in the show, not just ponies. There was a zebra one too, and a dragon, and others. He suspected that Equestria was populated by a mishmash of real animals and creatures from various mythologies.

He would have been more captivated by meeting her, or curious, or just weirded out, but after a day with ponies and having already met Captain, he had exhausted all of those reactions already, and his current situation diverted his attention away from her too.

“So, human....” Fleetfoot started.

“Call me Third. Human is my father’s name.”

“...R-Really?”

“No.”

“Haha, very clever...Umm...Might I ask what you’ve been up to since your arrival in our world?”

“Well, let’s see...I fought a kappa, I infiltrated a city, and I met up with a cult of creepy human worshipping ponies too.”

“R-really now?”

Fleetfoot put on a huge fake grin and began to sweat.

“No, I was being sarcastic again. Well, the kappa thing was true. It’s my pet now. Gave it a sweet ass hat, and named it Captain. Wonder what he’s doing?”

This mare had the subtlety skills of a charging rhino, he realized. They were going to have to be alone for things to progress. The griffin seemed amiable enough, and didn’t look like she actually cared about being here, but she needed to go.

“Hey, griffin. I’m getting pretty hungry. Can you get me a burger or something, and if you can swing it, some alcohol?”

The griffin jumped at the prospect of getting out of the dusty hole she was stuck in.

“Humans eat meat? Nice. But yeah, I will see what I can do. You know, in the interest of peace or whatever.”

And just like that, Hayato and the Wonderbolt were alone in the crafter.

“Okay, now why are you really here?” he asked, talking at a lower volume than before.

“The Brotherhood sent me here to make sure you were okay, and to make a simple request of you, if we could, my Lord? We ask that you not reveal the existence of the Brotherhood of Man to anypony, or that its members know each other. That includes Shining Armor or the princesses, Luna and Celestia.”

“Is that all? I was going to do that already. I am not so dense as to reveal a group of human supporters in an anti-human culture. That would essentially destroy your lives, and I don’t make a habit of destroying people’s lives. Not that I haven’t done it mind you, but that was unintentional, no matter what Brad from next door may say.”

“Your kindness truly knows no bounds! We are doing our best to assist you using our positions. We cannot be too direct unfortunately, as it would reveal us, but we’re doing what we can. Is there anything that I can do now to make your stay more comfortable?”

“Well asides from getting these chains off of me, I wasn’t kidding about being hungry. Just so you know, humans are omnivores. We don’t eat ponies though. No sane human would. So don’t let any of them get the wrong ideas; the last thing I need at this point is even more misunderstandings.”

He yawned.

“Anyways, tell everyone else that they have nothing to worry about. Now if you don’t mind, I am going to try and get some sleep.“

“Of course, Lord Third.”

With a respectful bow, Fleetfoot left the crater to fulfil her lord’s request.

***

Lyra yawned as she poked her head above the edge of the basket. In the distance, she could see skyport docking station coming into view. Their journey to Canterlot had taken longer than they originally planned. With the delay behind them though, they were finally ready to get to business.

After being escorted to the proper docking station by two armored pegasi, they completed the docking procedure and were standing on the streets of Canterlot. Oddly enough, in town they all blended in together as it was commonplace for highly successful ponies of various fields to acquaint with each other and socialize.

“It’s a shame that the princesses have already left,” Abstract lamented, “My proposal for the prison will have to wait.”

“What do you mean?” asked Bon Bon.

“Look up near the airspace of the castle. At any one time there will be at least twenty-five elite pegasus guards patrolling that area of sky. The only time that number ever drops is when the princesses are all absent from the castle. All of them. So Princess Cadance is probably gone too.”

“Thanks Abstract, but how did you know all that? It seems like the kind of thing that they would want to keep a secret.”

“It used to be a secret until the common ponies began noticing patterns associated with the number of pegasi and the days that court business was slow. It’s not hard to figure out. Eventually they stopped trying to hide it and actually used it to trick would be assassins and thieves.”

“As fascinating as this all is,” Fancy Pants interrupted, “perhaps we should get any shopping or business out of the way while we still can. We don’t know how long they will be gone, and we will need to devote our time to influencing the princesses and the element bearers when they return. We shall conduct our business now, and meet outside the Fromage Fantaisie later on.”

With everypony in agreeance, they all went their separate ways. Fancy Pants was a learned pony and knew that when it came to business, time was always of the essence. Those that could not move fast were left behind in the dust. With this in mind, he knew they could not keep traveling in such a slow vehicle as that balloon, and regular pegasus carriages and chariots were also unsuited to their needs.

Fancy Pants got his bearings and made his way to the Rising Sun Air Service. The company was the only air service in Equestria that used airships to transport ponies across Equestria at a very low price. It was a government funded program that he had help push for some years back, realizing the need in Equestria for long distance transport for the common pony. They even assisted farmers in moving their crops long distances, effectively assisting Equestria as a whole.

The most important part of the Canterlot branch was that it housed the office for the purchase of private airships. This was the destination he had in mind. He had only used it twice in his life, but the fact that this was the third time was pretty bad. Who else other than him had the rotten luck to ruin two airships? Granted it wasn’t his fault either time, but it was still his money.

Upon entering the building, he saw hundreds of ponies milling about. Some were just arriving, while others were heading off to destinations unknown. It was one of those few times where you saw the upper, and the lower and middle classes in one place.

To his right was his destination, and he couldn’t help but smirk at the gaudy sign that Cid used to display his shop. The only thing that should have that many flashing lights is a disco or a Hearth’s Warming tree. Even Cid himself wasn’t fond of the sign, but he once joked that the pretty lights attracted the rich and stupid in droves.

“Keep staring; eet might do a trick,” said a voice behind him.

Recognizing Cid’s voice, Fancy Pants turned around to face him. The griffin had dusty grey and white feathers and a cigar in his beak. Even though he was sure there was a law against smoking indoors, it didn’t seem to stop Cid any; nothing ever did.

Who even smoked actual tobacco anyway? It was well known it killed you. Bubbles was where it was at.

“Cid, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be out making new ships?”

“You know that ven I finish a ship, I personally deliver eet.”

“Oh? which ship would that be? I didn’t see anything new in the docks.”

“Ahh it et eez ze Artemis. A lovely military flagship for ze princesses themselves, after ze last one vas destroyed by those dastardly Legion types. Zey left in it a short while ago. Speaking of ships, I did not see ze Apollo in ze docks either. Did you travel on ze ground?”

“Ah yes...about the Apollo...”

“Please tell me you did not wreck anuzzer of my ships?”

“You see, my regular pilot got drunk and couldn’t fly the ship, so we got a new guy to do it, and he-”

Cid groaned loudly.

“I don’t care! You are like a blight to ze airship world. At ze same time though, you are also my best customer because of zat, aside from ze military. And by zat, I mean ALL of ze military. Together.”

“Yes it does seem to be a fierce competition at this point, doesn’t it? Speaking of being your best customer...”

“Let me guess, you want anuzzer ship? Perhaps something zat explodes to make eet even easier for you to destroy?”

“I was hoping for one a bit more durable actually.”

“You ask of me a ship that even you cannot destroy. You ask ze impossible.”

“Do you have something for me or not?”

Cid sighed and scratched the back of his head thinking. He was doing a mental inventory in his head of all the ships he had available.

“Let me check our summer catalog...”

***

At the head of a large army, Luna strode towards Nameless. They had made great time getting there; Las Pegasus was much closer to Nameless than Canterlot was. It had been several months since she had last visited the site of her greatest victory. Although it was not without sacrifice, that moment was one filled her with pride.

Approaching her forces was a vanguard of the 501st. It was standard military procedure to intercept any incoming troops to verify identification.

After going through motions, they finally made it to the entrance of Nameless. Luna ordered her troops to report to the commanding officers to be merged into the guard rotation or rest up. Not wishing to waste time, she had several of the 501st escort her to Shining Armor’s location.

As she approached the captain, she saw him speaking with the Wonderbolt known as Fleetfoot, who she had met briefly a few times before.

Luna cocked her head, and wondered what a Wonderbolt was doing here. To her knowledge they were all supposed to be in Cloudsdale at that moment, preparing for the Summer Sun Celebration show. She supposed that her sister might have called for them, but if that were the case, where were the others?

Shining Armor noticed her approach and came to greet her.

“Princess Luna, I’m glad you were able to make it here so quickly.”

“Is it true, captain? Did the human just turn itself over?”

“As unbelievable as it sounds, yes he did. I’m not sure what to make of it.”

“‘He’? This human is another male?”

“Yes. The human told us himself. He was growing weary of being referred to as an ‘it’. In the interest of keeping him happy, I order everypony to address him as such.”

“...How did you even get him here?”

“Uhh...I promised him that he would not be restrained if he came along willingly.”

“And after he came here willingly, you...restrained him?”

“I meant I wouldn’t restrain him while escorting him to his prison. He still had to be restrained once he actually got here.”

“...But did he know that’s what you meant?”

Shining Armor froze, and his eye twitched.

“...I’m an idiot.”

“Have you at least learned anything else about the human? You have had him in captivity long enough; with how much they love to talk, you must have learned something? Hopefully something about their origins?”

“All we know is that the human was exploring our world, and only entered Hoofington to gather food. From there he was under assault from a mob until our timely arrival. The only thing about humans we have learned is that they are omnivorous, as it requested a ‘burger’ to dine on. This information was all gathered by Miss Fleetfoot.”

“I noticed her on the way over. Why is she here? Are the rest of the Wonderbolts present?”

Shining Armor retold the story that he had been given by Fleetfoot, which seemed a reasonably enough explanation to Luna. It did make her feel a bit better that one of the Wonderbolts was present though. They were alway integral to standing against Equestria’s enemies.

Most of the time, anyway.

“I need to know, was the human armed in any way? Did it possess anything like the Reaper’s horn that First and Second used?”

“Nothing on him. He seems generally peaceful in nature, though he did get rather irritable at times. In fact, the only sign of aggression he showed was when one of my underlings insulted him, and even then he simply requested we remove the soldier from his presence. If you don’t mind me saying, this whole situation is just crazy.”

“These are crazy times, Shining. I want you to have all the soldiers at the ready, as I am going to enter the barrier and speak with the human alone.”

“Of course, princess.”

WIth that, Shining Armor cast the phase spell onto her body and she passed through the barrier. Although she was full of confidence and determination before, the thought of being so close to a human had her legs shaking.

Each step she took towards the center was shakier than the last. She knew it was unbecoming of a pony of her power and status to be so frightened, but she couldn’t help it. After what Second had managed to do her sister...all the blood...

She shook her head and composed herself. No time for that now.

The human seemed to noticed her approach, as the chains around him began to jingle in movement. She stopped herself a good twenty feet away from the human, as close as she dared get to him.

He appeared to be on his knees, and had his head bowed towards the dusty ground. Slowly, he looked up, and she watched as he stared at her with one eye through his long black mane that hung past his shoulders. His gaze was unreadable, and the feeling of mystery about him only increased her anxiousness. She felt her heart racing as she willed herself to speak, but no words would come.

“Huh, you have a horn and wings. A bit greedy, aren’t we?”

Whatever Luna expected the human’s first words to be, those weren’t it.

“E-excuse me?”

“Well, that got you talking. What is it you want, Luna?”

“How do you know my name?!” she demanded, surprised by his knowledge.

“Because whether I liked it or not, I was good at my job.”

“What do you mean ‘good at your job’?” Luna asked.

She was beginning to feel a bit less tense, but notably more confused.

Damn, my nose is itchy. Would it be inappropriate to ask her to scratch it?

“Look, humans aren’t what you think we are. We’re just a relatively normal race of beings who watch the multiverse, and normally our policy is to never interfere in the lives of those we observe, but things were set into motion that forced me to come here. That is all I can tell you.”

Yes, that sounds convincing. See, Fleetfoot? Me pretending to be someone of importance? THAT takes acting talent. Goddamn my nose.

He was quite proud of the story he had come up with. The best kind of lies were those that had a bit of truth in them. It was true that humans did watch this world, and something had to have happened to send him here. He figured that telling her that she was a work of fiction, created for the amusement of children would not go over too well.

“You lie, human. We know of your nature, and your true power. They call you an Elder God. Your predecessors already let us know of what you are really like.”

Did she just compare me to Cthulhu?

“You believed them? Look, I’ve read your history books and seen the pictures of these beings. Although they look human, I am can tell you for a fact that they cannot have been. Humans do not have the kinds of powers those two had. The only powers humans have are our aforementioned multiverse viewing deal, and even then that’s technology, not anything we actually do.”

“How do I know that you are not simply lying to me? For all I know you could just be trying to trick me into letting my guard down. I saw myself what Second and First were capable of.”

“How about the fact that I am here? Look at me, I am your prisoner. If I had all of these powers you claim that humans have, then I wouldn’t have let myself get captured. Heck, I would have defended myself against the crazy mob that chased me. Yes I may have blustered and claimed to be a god earlier, but that was just to keep myself alive. I was worried about what would happen if I told a group of human hating creatures that I was powerless.”

Luna bit her lip as she considered the human’s words. He was certainly making a lot of sense. There was no reason she could think of that would explain why a powerful Elder God would allow themselves to be treated in such a manner. It wasn’t like Second or First ever needed to use trickery to win any battles, so this likely wasn’t a trap either. Not that she was discounting the possibility, but she couldn’t help but think, perhaps he was telling the truth? Maybe Second and First weren’t true humans.

Hayato meanwhile could see that the princess was beginning to believe his story. It was quite possible he might have been able to arrange some sort of limited freedom, and protection from psycho pony mobs. If he was really lucky, he could even find a way home. He probably came here by some form of magic, and these ponies also had magic. Made sense.

If only his damn nose would stop itching.

Several time he went to say something but that only irritated his nose and made the itch worse. The straw that broke the camel’s back was when a strand of hair brushed lightly across his nose. He raised his arms up as quickly as he could and scratched desperately, sighing when he finally got the relief he had been seeking.

During his ecstasy he failed to notice several things, most importantly the fact that the chains that had bound him broke away like dry twigs. When he opened his eyes, Luna was staring at him in horror and shock. Confused, he looked around his knees and saw the chains lying in pieces around him, and he realised what happened.

How could I have believed him? This was all just an elaborate ruse.

Hayato saw Luna take a few steps backwards from him.

“...I swear, this has never happened to me before.”

“Enough! We are done here,” Luna said, turning and moving quickly towards the edge of the crater.

“No wait! Come back!”

The alicorn did not turn and seemed to have picked up her pace.

“What about my burger?!”

***

Captain found himself standing at the foot of the stairs. The entire downstairs of the house was in ruins. Everything that had crossed his path found itself the victims of his claws and teeth. He was particularly proud of his work in the bathroom. If any pony dared enter that room again they would probably have nightmares for years to come.

He now faced the prospect of an entire area of the house that was yet untouched. He was getting chills just thinking about the destruction he was about the unleash. Not wanting to prolong the wait, Captain made his way upstairs.

When he reached the top, it was like he was in a dream. If the downstairs looked nice, this area was fit for royalty. Or rather, it was fit for royalty. Like a tiny tornado he set about demolishing all he came across. The only thing that made him stop was a particularly nice looking room. It was full of glass shelves and pictures of the loud green one. It apparently loved a strange gold string thing, as it was sitting on a high shelf, with lots pointless decorations around it.

A tear of pure joy slid from his right eye as he set upon the instrument. It was time to see if the gold thing could fly.

***

Hayato sat on the sandy ground in the middle of the crater, legs crossed, prodding the chains curiously. After he broke them, everyone all agreed that it was pointless trying to put him back in them, so now he was just being trusted to stay put and not cause trouble. He used his newfound freedom to examine the metal his chains were made from and try to find out what had happened.

The conclusion that he reached were that these could not possibly be any kind of metal, because they had the consistency of wet toilet paper. Whether through magic or a really elaborate prank, what should have been some kind of indestructible metal alloy was in fact just some weird mushy stuff that had temporarily taken a solid form. Like when play dough went dry.

He knew this was the case because despite the ponies’ claims that he was crushing and breaking the super strong metal with his Herculean strength, he was not exerting that much force. He was just lightly squeezing it, and it acted like clay.

Strength did not work like that. Even those stupidly strong bodybuilders with massive muscles who could bench press cars were aware when they were exerting a lot of force on an object, and when they were being light. He could feel his muscles, and even if he was that strong, he definitely was not using enough force to make metal do this.

Therefore, this shit was not metal, no matter what they said.

What did they even call this again? Dwarf star alloy? I swear I’ve heard that before. I think it was in a Doctor Who episode. Why does Equestria have it? Clearly they stopped caring about copyright infringement.

Hayato went to take a step forward to walk around inside the barrier when he was suddenly pulled back into his spot. He had forgotten about the chains around his throat that led to the edges of the crater. Since it wasn’t metal, and he could break it easily, perhaps a test was in order?

He lightly tested the chains to see how far they would go before becoming taut. Once he got a good measure he took a few deep breaths.

***

“Captain, princess, you should come over here right now. The human is doing something.”

Immediately the two rushed over to the edge of the barrier and looked down to where the Third was. Previously, they had come to an understanding that he was not to leave the barrier or cause trouble. He sat simply just sat there and played with the metal like it was a toy. Both of them feared that the human may be growing bored, and nothing was as frightening as a human that was bored.

“Alright soldiers, I am setting priority alert red,“ Shining Armor commanded, “The human is acting strangely and we need to be on guard in case he is turning hostile. I want all units that are on break ready in two minutes. Now go.”

All the ponies set about their tasks and prepared for what could easily be the most deadly battle of their lives. Luna could only stare at the human in wonder, as it suddenly stopped moving.

I wish Celestia were here.

***

Focused on his experiment, Hayato did not notice the soldiers rushing about at the edge of the crater. Bringing to mind every kung fu movie he had ever seen, he took a solid stance and then swung his head down as hard as he could.

At once, all of the heavy chains connected to the crater snapped, leaving behind only a small piece and a plume of dust as they hit the ground. Hayato using his jacket to cover his mouth so he didn’t inhale all of the dust, but when he was done he stared proudly at the result. Every single chain broke at the same time. Even though they weren’t really metal, he felt like a badass.

Well, that was fun while it lasted. Now what am I going to do?

Hayato then noticed the commotion up on the edge of the barrier and decided to go see what was up. When he got close to the barrier he saw the line back away and point their weapons at him. He had no clue why; it wasn’t like he was a threat inside this barrier. The worst thing he could do was moon them, and that wouldn’t be enjoyable for anybody involved.

“Why are you all acting like this? It’s because I’m black, isn’t it?”

He was trying to lighten the mood, but his joke only served to make them all very confused.

Eh, confused isn’t hostile, I’ll take what I can get.

It wasn’t even a good joke. He couldn’t blame them.

Getting bored of the sight of weapons being pointed at him, Hayato walked back into the center of the barrier and sat down. He found it to be much preferable to being on his knees all day. He didn’t understand how his sister did it for a living.

...Because she was a preschool teacher. AND NOTHING ELSE.

Wait a minute. I could sculpt! If these things are like putty, why don’t I make something? Time to blow some minds with my mad skillz.

With his new goal in mind, he set about gathering all the chains in the crater and removing the rest of it from around his neck. Although he really wanted his food, this was a project that could not wait. It would be like the time he played Minecraft, only this time he planned on successfully creating something instead of quitting ten minutes in and trying to get a refund.

Still got that refund.

***

The mighty airship Artemis soared proudly over the barren wasteland. Celestia stood at the prow of the ship watching as Nameless came into view. She had made it a point to never return here if she could help it. She let her scientists come and go freely, but the area was just too tainted for her to ever feel comfortable here. Especially since she had often visited the forest before the impact.

However, she had a job to do, and would not let her comfort level dictate her duty. After the captain found a suitable landing zone Celestia, accompanied her niece and by Twilight and her friends, made her way to the command office where they were sure to find Shining Armor.

Instead of going straight to the building however, they were intercepted by Luna, who visibly relaxed upon seeing her sister.

“Sister, it is good that you have finally arrived! Might I ask what took so long?”

“There were a few things I had to sign at the skyport before we could take the airship. The Artemis is newly purchased. But I am here now. How are things?”

“Things are...not stable right now. The human is being cooperative for the moment, but I fear it may not last.”

“Come sister, we shall talk over here. Twilight, I want you to go meet up with your brother and have him join us.”

Twilight nodded and ran off to find Shining Armor. It was a short run, and it turned out he was making his way outside already, so she met him as he was coming through the doorway.

Cadance flew over the soldiers and embraced her husband. As embarrassed and surprised as he was, he knew better than to try and push her off. She was a worrier, and this whole affair must have had made her a nervous wreck. He still remembered how emotional she got just before the campaign into Atlantis.

“Honey, please...not in front of the soldiers...”

Cadence laughed and pulled away from him. Deciding to move things along, Twilight spoke up.

“Shining, the princess asked us to come and fetch you. She wants to talk before we see the human.”

“Ahh yes. I’m sure Luna’s explained everything already?”

“She’s explaining it to Celestia right now.”

“Um, is it safe to be here?” mumbled Fluttershy.

“What was that? I didn’t hear you.”

“Is it safe to be here?” she asked, even quieter than before.

Shining Armor turned to Twilight in confusion. He couldn’t understand a thing that mare was saying.

“I think she is asking you if it is safe to be here, what with the human’s prison so close.”

“Oh...To be honest, I’m not sure. You remember the dwarf star alloy chains that we used to secure the Nameless One?”

Twilight nodded.

”Well, he broke them. Even after we magically reinforced them.”

Rainbow Dash and Twilight both gasped in surprise, and the others looked equally shocked.

“And I don’t even think it was intentional, because he did it in the middle of trying to convince the princess he was actually powerless. Last I saw, he was modeling it into shapes like a foal playing with crafting clay. Personally, I think he’s just showing off.”

While nopony other than Twilight really understood the science behind the chains, all of them knew first hoof just how tough they were, and just what their captive being able to break them meant. Fluttershy especially seemed to lock up in fear. Out of all of them, only Applejack took the news in stride.

“Now jus’ calm down, ya’ll. We already knew these humans were made of tough stuff. Yeah, it might’ve broke them chains, but it’s still stuck here behind that big ‘ol barrier. Let’s not forget that the princesses are here with us. We’re gonna be fine. Let’s head on back.”

Everypony seemed to feel a little better after Applejack’s speech. Even some of the soldiers around them were feeling a bit more confident in the situation. As she walked away and the others followed, Shining Armor could not help but be impressed.

Rainbow Dash meanwhile noticed a familiar blue mare over on the other side of the complex.

“Hey guys, I’ll meet up with you in a few minutes. I think I see Fleetfoot over there. I’m gonna go see what she’s doing here.”

As the others left, Rainbow Dash took to the air to go greet her friend and teammate. Surprisingly enough, she was just walking about on the ground. Fleetfoot loved flying as much as she did, and Rainbow rarely ever saw her walk, even on clouds.

“Hey Echo, whatcha doing walking on the ground?” she asked.

Fleetfoot turned around to see Rainbow Dash hovering in the air behind her.

“Oh, hey Rainbow. Why are you here? I thought you were on break for your birthday?”

“Yeah, I guess a human showing up trumps my birthday. It’s cool though. Once we’re done here, I can go back to my vacation. Just partying and sleeping all day long. I might even get a few pranks in while I’m at it. More importantly though, why are you hoofing it?”

“I did a bit too much endurance flying. Doctor says no more flying for today. Bummer, huh?”

“Yeah that sucks,” Rainbow said as she dropped to the ground, “Well, I'll just walk with you then. Have you seen it yet? The human I mean.”

“Yes I did. He was very polite and kind. He was a lot more civil than some ponies that I’ve met.”

“Kind? Come on Echo, humans aren’t kind. They’re monsters.”

“You haven’t even met him yet, Rainbow! You shouldn’t judge somepony, or human until you’ve met them at least.”

“I’ve met humans before, remember? The only thing humans care about are themselves, and nothing else. They terrorize ponies and destroy their lives. They already tried to kill the princess once before, and almost succeeded!”

“B-but have you considered that this one might be different?”

“Why’d they be different Echo? What makes him any different from Second and First? They acted polite at times too. Doesn’t excuse anything they did. I‘d sooner believe Discord was a good guy. At least he never tried to kill anypony! I know you try and see the good in everypony, and that’s awesome, but you’ve got to face it. Sometimes, a monster is just a monster.”

Fleetfoot’s ears drooped as her friend walked ahead of her. As much as she wanted to convince Rainbow to change her beliefs, she knew that she was fighting a losing battle. Rainbow had seen the darkness that the ponies had forced out of Lords First and Second. A small part of her held hope that one day Rainbow would change her mind, but she knew it would be a long time.

“Hey slowpoke, you coming or what?”

“Yeah, Dash...right behind you.”

***

Lyra and Abstract walked through the streets of Canterlot together. Neither of them had anything particularly pressing to do at the moment, so they decided to stick together. It was rare that the two had the time to spend together. As gruff as he was, Lyra had gotten along with him ever since they were foals at the orphanage.

She remembered when she first told Abstract about her idea of forming the Brotherhood, and fully expected him to laugh her off or dismiss her. But he supported her, and actually improved her idea, turning it from a simple club to what the Brotherhood was today. He was a great guy, if just a little bit rough around the edges.

“Lyra...why are you staring at me? Are you doing one of your internal monologues again?”

Lyra realized she had gone into a trance again and shook her head to snap herself out of it.

“N-no I was just spacing out, thinking about Lord Third. I am worried about him.”

“I’m sure he’s fine. If they try to do anything drastic, I’m sure that he will resolve things peacefully like before. He seems determined to not let the royal upstarts get the better of him.”

When Abstract finished speaking Lyra could not suppress her groan.

“Not this again, Abstract...”

Abstract shook his head as they reached the edge of the business district and were now on the path to the castle proper.

“Don’t you take that tone, Lyra. I’ve made my position on them quite clear.”

Lyra’s friend was a rare example of an anti-royalist in Equestria. So rare in fact, that she had never actually met or even heard of anypony who shared his views, or at least nopony who expressed them. He and presumably anypony who agreed with him wisely kept quiet about it.

“I don’t see why you think they’re so bad. Sure, they made a mistake with the humans, but that doesn’t mean we should demonize them, especially when they’ve saved us all so many times before.”

“Just because they’ve done some good, doesn’t mean that we should ignore all the bad either, Lyra. One of them tried to drag the land into eternal night, twice.”

“But that wasn’t even her! That was Nightmare Moon!”

“Yeah, sure. That excuses everything.”

“She apologized so many times for that, and she felt so bad about it! And she’s done so much to help make up for it since! Like when Atlantis attacked, or the Nameless One!”

“Three months, Lyra.”

“What?”

“Three months was how long the sun was gone one thousand years back, during the War of the Night. Yes they make it seem like it was one night, and technically it was. But it lasted for three months of normal time. Do you know how many ponies died during those three months? How many starved or froze to death? Because I’ve read the history books, and I know. It was a lot. Just because it happened a long time ago doesn’t mean it’s not still an atrocity.”

“But at a certain point, you have to learn to forgive Abstract...”

“What of our neighbors? The sun had to go somewhere. South Zebrica faced one of the worst droughts in their history. Seventeen thousand zebras dead because of what she did. So it doesn’t matter how sorry she is about it, sorry doesn’t bring back the dead. It just makes the living feel better at night.”

“I...I understand how you feel. I just..”

“It’s okay, Lyra. I know you don’t see things the same as I do. You’re a better pony than I am. I’m amazed sometimes how easily you can forgive somepony. And that’s why you’re in charge and I’m not.”

“Heh, and ‘cause it was my idea.”

“Yeah, and because it was your idea. Hey look, we’re here.”

Lyra and Abstract found themselves standing at the entrance to the castle gardens. The guards had let them pass by without a second thought. The two them were in such good standing with the princesses that the guards had long since bothered with asking if they were expected. Lyra had even gained permission to use most of the castle and grounds as inspiration and had free roam of the place. It was a nice side benefit of Luna being a fan of her work.

Today they had a specific destination in mind. The statue of Lord Second. They had visited it many times before. Little did ponies know, the sonata ‘Lyra’s Second’ was actually composed for Lord Second under his very statue. The only ponies who really knew that were the members of the Brotherhood who saw the sonata for what it was.

“Hello, my Lord. We are back,” Lyra said, greeting the petrified human.

Abstract followed in suit, giving a respectful bow to the statue. It was said by some that Lord Second could still see and hear the world around him, even in his stone prison. Abstract himself rather doubted it. Second was trapped with his eyes closed and head bowed. However, respect was still given where it was due.

“I have some very good news, my Lord. Another human has arrived in our world. He has remained peaceful, much like you tried to. Things aren’t looking the best right now, but we are supporting him as much as we can.”

Her friend rolled his eyes.

“Come on Lyra, Lord Third isn’t here to play nice. He is here to take down those corrupt alicorns. They tried to do it last time they came here, but those tricksters turned the forces of good against them. Let us not forget about the brutal murder of Lord First.”

“That was an accident, and you know it.”

“Was it? Up until that point there were absolutely no casualties. Not a single pony died in any of the conflicts. Even when they attacked Celestia, they didn’t manage a fatal wound. They were giving her a chance to live. In return for their mercy, her underling murdered the Lord First in cold blood.

“Yes, he died as well, but it isn’t below Celestia to sacrifice her pawns to achieve her objectives. It was only then, when the mercy they showed was returned with death, that ponies began to die. Even then it only ever totalled five, and even they were only ponies who provoked him by insulting his fallen comrade in front of him. Lord Second even let the Elements seal him away, rather than prolong the war and risk more ponies lives. Those tyrants took heroes and tore them down.”

“Oh, Abstract...”

“They will pay for their crimes one day, Lyra. Nopony escapes justice. Not even them.”

***

Done with the explanations, everypony was gathered outside the barrier. They had all made preparations for entering the prison. All of them were on edge, and did not know what to expect. They had all been much more comfortable when they thought the human was bound by the chains.

Worst case scenario, Twilight and her friends were already wearing the element necklaces too.

Not wanting to delay the moment any longer, Shining Armor cast the phasing spell on all nine of the ponies and their dragon companion, and led the way through the barrier. Right behind him was Rainbow Dash, who was determined to keep the human out of reach of her friends and the princesses. All three alicorns followed afterwards, and then the rest of the elements. Rarity was the last one through, as she had to push the terrified Fluttershy along.

She felt bad for doing it, but they would need all of the Elements of Harmony if the human tried to attack them. They were all surprised to see several objects in the center of the crater with the prisoner, while the chains were nowhere to be seen. As they headed down towards the center of the impact site, they saw that the human was doing...something.

When they got closer, they could see that the objects were statues of some kind. Those hadn’t been there before. The human seemed lost in thought as he continued to mold parts of the statue that he apparently wasn’t happy with. They all looked to be bipedal like himself, but hideously deformed, and some were winged too.

After standing there for several minutes, Shining Armor cleared his throat loudly the catch his attention.

Turning around, Hayato was surprised to see he had gained a rather large audience. What was more surprising was that it was the entire cast of main characters from the show. He knew at some point he would run into them, but he wasn’t expecting it to be this soon.

“Oh hey, when did you all get here? I’ve been working on my statues for a little while now. I think they’re turning out great. What do you think?”

Hayato pulled out a statue no bigger than a doll and held it up for them to see. It was rather bulbous and like nothing they had ever seen.

“Check it out. I made a snowman...out of metal! Or a pale imitation of metal anyway. No idea what this shit is, but it’s kinda doughy. Like wet toilet paper. Or batter. You know, I would upset with you, Shining, that you broke your word. But considering how much effort you went through to set up a prank like this, I can only give you kudos.”

“It wasn’t a prank! Stop breaking physics!”

“...said the magical talking horse...”

“I’m being serious!”

“Look, these are not metal, and definitely not any kind of strong metal, and I can prove it!”

Hayato threw the snow/metalman onto the floor and stood on it with both feet. It began to be crushed into a flat circular shape.

“I’m not pressing down with my feet. My weight alone is doing this. Even if I were super strong and breaking the metal as you claim, my weight still wouldn’t be able to do this unless I was heavy enough to shake the earth as I walk, and the metal still wouldn’t bend in that way. Therefore, it is not metal. Logic wins! Take that, weirdo pony guy!”

“I...but...Princess, help me out here, please?”

“Actually that’s...Yeah. I think he’s right.”

“THAT’S METAL! IT’S METAL, I SWEAR! IT’S DWARF STAR ALLOY! THOSE ARE THE SAME CHAINS! DO I HAVE TO GET THE DOCTOR BACK IN HERE TO PROVE IT?!”

“Honey, stop shouting...” said Cadance.

Hayato raised an eyebrow at the mention of the Doctor, but didn’t comment.

“Oh for the love of...”

Shining Armor grabbed the metal out from under Hayato and lifted it into the air with his magic. He reached to his side and drew his sword. The human cringed, thinking he was about to be attacked, but Shining struck the black disk shape with the blade repeatedly, causing sparks to fly and not damaging it even slightly. His sword on the other hand eventually broke in half.

He tossed it back at Hayato’s feet, who stared at it like the captain had just shat on his lawn.

“Your move, human.”

“...Okay. So, hear me out - What if the metal itself is alive and sentient, and it just changes its consistency when anyone else touches it to make me look crazy?”

“Oh don’t worry, you’re doing that plenty fine on your own, what with your weird rambling and your breaking of physics and your crazy obsessive sculpting of...whatever the hay those are.”

“They’re angels...”

“What in Equestria is an angel?”

“I thought those were gargoyles,” said Luna, “They died out sometime during my banishment, but I recall that there used to be many of them, and they looked a lot like that. Tremendously ugly, but rather friendly beings. They were a bit taller than that though...And I don’t think you got the fangs right.”

“Uh...yes. Angel is the human word for gargoyle...” Hayato lied.

His eyes shifted about nervously. The worst part was now that they pointed it out, he could see the resemblance to a gargoyle.

I’m a terrible artist.

“They must look a bit different in your world because there are a lot of mistakes in this...”

“Do you see me coming into your home, and pointing out the flaws in your art? No, didn’t think so.”

“I don’t think you would have that kind of time,” mumbled Celestia just loud enough for Luna to hear.

“Works of art aside, we have business to discuss,” Luna said in an attempt to prevent this conversation from going further.

“So why are you here?” Spike asked, stepping forward.

“Oh no, you’re that purple guy...dragon...thing...Spike, right?”

“Yeah, that’s me, and what do you mean ‘oh no’? What’s that supposed to mean? And how do you even know me anyway?!”

“You’re a kid. I hate kids.”

“Here we go..” said Rainbow Dash off to the side.

“I’m not a kid! I am getting tired of people acting like that!”

“Okay, be totally honest with me now. How old are you?”

“Twenty one.”

The human blinked.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously!”

“Then how come you haven’t aged in...Umm...How long has it been since the first ep- since...Uh...”

He wracked his brain.

“How long since...Nightmare...thing. Whatever?”

“Since my return?” offered Luna.

“Yeah, that.”

“Nine years.”

Hayato quickly ran some calculations in his head.

Twenty one minus nine...So he would have been...Yeah. He was definitely a kid when the series started. And he hasn’t aged at all. Is that TV weirdness like the Simpsons suffer from, or is there an actual explanation?

“How come you still look so young then?”

“Because I’m a dragon! We age slower than any other species, at least without other things that make us grow really fast. I am four feet tall now! I’m not as short as I was nine years ago!”

“Huh, I guess you are a little taller than...I last saw you...”

“You last saw me never because we’ve never met! How do you know my name?!”

I am so tempted to tell him he’s a cartoon character and watch them all suffer an existential crisis.

“Well you see, humans are actually a race of watchers....”

“Oh no you don’t. I already told them about your lies! We are not going to fall for it again,” Luna declared.

“Well get used to it, because that’s the only story you are getting. There are some things ponies aren’t meant to know. Better yet, we can do a sharing session. Hey Celestia, why don’t you tell us about your parents? In fact, where do alicorns even come from? I’m sure that’s a good story.”

At this both Celestia and Luna paled. The origins of alicorns were a closely kept secret that only three creatures knew of. Those being the princesses, and Discord.

“Fine, we shall not ask you about your world any further,” Celestia said diplomatically.

“Yep. Thought so.”

“Well if you won’t answer that, then at least tell us what you are doing here,” said Spike, taking charge once more.

“In my realm, I am known as Galactus, eater of worlds. I came here because I was hungry.”

At these words they all assumed battle positions, save for Fluttershy who just cowered.

“I’m joking. But seriously, will someone get me that burger? I asked for it hours ago, and that damn griffin still hasn’t got back to me on it.”

“I know it must be exhaustingly difficult for you to manage, but do you think you could be serious for five minutes?” snapped Celestia.

“My God you people are tense. Why can none of you lighten up even slightly? It’s not like you’re the ones in prison...”

“Because the worst monsters to ever walk our lands kept telling us the same thing. We’ve had enough would-be comedians to last a lifetime.”

“So you are judging me for the actions of others? Perhaps I should be mad at all of you for forming a mob and chasing me?”

“But we didn’t-”

“No, you didn’t. But it was ponies that did it. Seems pretty unfair when you are on the other side, doesn’t it?”

“We...”

Celestia sighed.

“I apologise if our actions have been extreme, but understand that after Second and First, we cannot take any chances. We know what your kind are capable of, and last time when we failed to take proper action against humans who wished us harm, they hospitalised thousands of ponies and rained destruction on our cities.”

Hayato’s eyes were drawn to a series of scars that were peppered across Celestia’s side.

“They weren’t exactly easy on you either, I see.”

“No, they were not. I must ask you to be honest in my next question. Are you carrying a Reaper’s horn on you right now?”

Reapers horn? Oh, the shotgun.

“No I am not. I didn’t even bring one with me.”

Both Celestia and Luna were flooded with relief. While the human was powerful, it was the weapon itself that was their true reason to be afraid. At least they were not in any mortal danger.

“So what is your plan? Are you wanting to lock me up and throw away the key?”

“We’ll see. If you truly mean us no harm, that will become apparent and we’ll trust you to go free without causing chaos. If you try to make problems though, we’ll respond as needed.”

“How am I supposed to prove myself while sitting in a dusty crater? I have already made you a gargoyle statue as a gift.”

“You made this for us?”

“Well, no. But you can have it if it’ll get me out sooner.”

“...Indeed. We still do have questions, I hope you know. That’s a good way to get out sooner. We’d very much appreciate some answers and cooperation. Starting with a repeat of a question you still haven’t answered; Why are you here?”

“You want the truth? Fine. I don’t know why I am here. The last thing I remember is being in my world, and then I just woke up here in a forest. I don’t know I got here or how I am supposed to get back. My last memory is of going to bed, but I’m pretty sure that some stuff happened between that and getting here because it feels like it was a while ago.”

“You are simply stranded here? You never meant to come to Equestria?”

“Yeah. Are you happy now?”

“No. That’s rather sad, actually. I am sorry for your predicament.”

“Oh, it’s okay. The ponies were so friendly and understanding about it all. They even had a welcoming committee for me. You’re such nice and approachable creatures. Never would hurt a fly, you lot. Friendship is magic, and all that crap.”

The ponies present shuffled uncomfortably in place. Even Fluttershy seemed less scared and more concerned about Hayato. He reminded her of a bunny that had gotten separated from its family, albeit angrier and louder.

“We are sorry. We never intended to overreact, but as we’ve explained-”

“Yeah, yeah. Second and First. Super monster creatures that look like humans and whatnot. I’ve got to say, you all really have some strange ideas about humans if you think you need chains made of dwarf star alloy to hold us. Regular handcuffs would do.”

Celestia’s eyes darted over to the giant gargoyle statue that Hayato had made out of his previous restraints.

“Clearly.”

“So, any other questions that will set me free? Because clearly that burger isn’t coming.”

“Would somepony please go get him his burger so he will stop complaining?!” asked Shining Armor shouted over his shoulder at the soldiers on the edge of the crater.

“Oh, I’m sorry, is my whining making you uncomfortable, captain-slash-prince-slash-whatever else Armor? Are these not suitable conditions for his lordship? Does being in the big, dusty crater having to deal with the smelly, dirty human make you pine for your luxurious palace and four poster bed that I’m keeping you from?”

Before Shining Armor could retort, Celestia asked him another question. If they were allowed to go back and forth they wouldn’t get anywhere.

“What do you know about the Reaper’s horn. Do you know how it works?”

Hmm. How to explain this...

“You pull the trigger and things die.”

Celestia planted a hoof in her face.

“I mean, why can it harm alicorns like myself, or hypothetically, my sister? Only others of our kind or similar beings should be able to do that. No weapon should be capable of such a thing.”

Ahhh...

“...It’s...got a magic death spell on it. Using human magic. Completely different from what ponies have. Yeah.”

“Magic specifically for harming alicorns? So...Second and First came here with killing us in mind. No surprise there, actually.”

“Uh, the spell wasn’t meant for alicorns specifically. Would you believe me if I told you that it was made to kill humans?”

“Well, that would explain how Private Steel Hammer was able to kill First with it...” Luna mused.

“Wait a minute, how did he use it in the first place? Ponies don’t have hands.”

Hayato tried picturing a pony holding it in its mouth, but it just seemed impossible and unwieldy. The princesses just shrugged.

“We do have a lot of other questions about Second and First-”

“Believe me, so do I.”

“-But those can wait for a while, we think. For now, we just have one last question, and then if it’s okay with you, I’m sure Twilight and her friends here have some of their own.”

Twilight nodded to confirm that they did.

“Fine. Let’s just get this over with.”

“What is your true name?”

“That’s all? My name?”

“Well, following trends of how we named humans in the past, you would be the Third. But I’m assuming you have an actual name? They never told us theirs, but then, we never had a chance to ask.”

“It’s Hayato Midō.”

***

A familiar ashen grey pony stalked angrily through the streets of Hoofington. Despite his name being Lucky Seven, he wasn’t feeling very lucky right now. All he wanted to do was relax away from the pretentious atmosphere of Canterlot for one week. And what happens? A human appears and puked all over him. Today was officially the worst day of his life.

As he made it to his home, he noticed something rather odd. The door to his neighbor Lyra’s house was wide open. That was not the only strange thing, because from what he could see from the street, several objects looked strewn about haphazardly. Although he needed a shower badly, he would have felt bad if Lyra was in trouble and he didn’t go to help her.

With a sigh of resignation, he headed inside the home. He had only ever been inside this house twice before, and Lyra always kept it immaculate. That is why it was such a shock to see it in it’s current state. Everything was dark and torn to shreds. Like a pack of diamond dogs went on a rampage and just disappeared.

Lucky blanched when he saw what looked to be blood covering parts of the floor. He was tempted to run away screaming but held his ground.

Stallion up Lucky, Lyra could be really hurt in here.

Carefully walking through the wreckage of the house, Lucky kept an eye out for any signs of life. His head snapped around to the left when he could have sworn he saw something moving. Upon closer inspection of the area, he found he was alone.

Just nerves, old boy. Just have to check upstairs, and then you can go.

Slowly, he crept upstairs, trying to ignore the feeling like he was being watched. If he didn’t know any better, it seemed like it was starting to get foggier as he went upstairs.

Wait, it was getting foggier as he went up the stairs. He couldn’t help but feel like this was some B-movie where a monster was going to pop out at any second. It was a completely ridiculous notion of course; this was real life, and nothing like that ever happened in real life. Ever. At all.

Being as quiet as he could, he crept down the halfway, taking quick peeks in each of the rooms as he went.

Nothing. No signs that Lyra was even home. That meant he could leave now, right? His sense of chivalry said otherwise. He had one last room to check, and it was the prized music room she had showed off before. The door creaked loudly as he entered the foggiest room in the house. It was getting harder to breath the deeper he went in.

When he heard the door click shut he nearly jumped out of his skin. He began to hear the steps of something else in the room. Now he knew it wasn’t just nerves, he wasn’t alone. He heard movement behind him and turned around, coming face to face with a beast with razor sharp teeth and glowing eyes. Also a pirate hat.

With all sense of courage gone, he relieved himself on the floor as he screamed like a little filly. This was followed up by him breaking through the closed door and running out of the house, still screaming for his life.

Back in the house, a certain kappa was rolling on the floor in laughter as he pulled off the mask he had found. Captain could barely breath as he tossed it beside the fog machine from the attic. He was having the time of his life. If only Master was here with him, then he would be having twice as much fun.

Well, that was one house down. And the rest of Hoofington awaited.

END.

Author's Note

Take your damn song.

Chapter 4 is out, and before an entire month has passed! That’s a new personal record. I know a lot of you are wanting Hayato to start kicking ass already, but patience is needed. Everything in due time. I already promised there would be plenty of action in this story. Good action is never late, but happens exactly when it means to.

As you have noticed, there were some darker scenes in this chapter. There will occasionally be those throughout the story. I feel it adds more to than story and stops it from being one drawn out slapstick moment. Also, the griffin Cid is French, for those who may not have deciphered the accent. In this universe, griffions are the equivalent of french people, accents and all.

Now for those of you who also read Human might know about a certain threat I have been holding over Danny. That threat being Second Does Equestria™. What I am surprised about are the amount of people that actually want it to happen. So who knows, anything can happen, and if Danny steps out of line, everything will happen.

But enough about tormenting Danny, It is time to post this up and get the latest feedback.

Editor's notes:

Draven Eclipse is much like a crack whore. He has been up all night working, and now he’s spent, and full of semen.

Next Chapter: West side Legion representin’ for real dawg.