The Unfortunate Case of Doctor Luna and Mistress Moonby cleverpunChapters1. My Only Friend2. Plunder Heaven Blind3. You WIll Pay Dear, My Dear4. Remember the Name5. Such a Fine Line6. Now and Foreverdeleted content7. Darkness There, And Nothing More1. My Only FriendThe board of directors all looked so similar. Clothes covered their cutie marks. They all possessed similarly short, executive haircuts. They sat in identical chairs, and the wide desk showed no dents or scratches in its smooth finish. The board member in the center adjusted her glasses. “I’m afraid the board has decided to discontinue your research.” Doctor Luna stiffened. “And may I ask why?” A different board member shuffled the papers in front of him. “We have concluded that it is too dangerous. The effects are too vague.” Luna grit her teeth. “That is the point of researching it further.” A third board member shuffled her papers. Even their movements looked similar. “We read your reports thoroughly. It seems that the mice all experienced extremely varied effects.” Another shuffle. “And even though the elixir is supposed to ‘dilute a pony’s inner darkness’, the exact nature of that endeavor remains unclear.” “And how am I supposed to research the effects further, without pony test subjects?” Luna tried to keep her voice even. She could tell she had failed, even before the words left her mouth. “We understand you are upset, Doctor Luna. You’ve spent most of your time at the university on this project. But we cannot, in good conscience, approve further testing. It is too dangerous.” Luna grit her teeth again. “Thank you for your time, then,” she muttered. Celestia had waited for her outside the large mahogany doors. “I’m sorry, Luna.” She sounded insincere, as always. “Did you know about this?” Luna asked. “No. But I’m afraid your expression gave it away.” “Hmph.” Luna tugged at her collar. Her clothes felt even more uncomfortable than usual. Obviously one needed to dress up for a meeting, but her outfit felt awkward. Her mane looked the same as ever. Celestia looked immaculate, as usual. “Let me walk you home. It might help you calm down.” Luna undid a shirt button as soon as they were outside. The scrutiny of the board had exacerbated the constriction of her clothing. “Waste of my time,” she muttered. “Everyone has to go to meetings, Luna,” “Not that. I mean this entire charade. Why did they bother to hire me if they were going to dismiss all my contributions so readily?” “Perhaps they thought it was too dangerous.” Luna stiffened. The same wording the board had used. “The entire point of research is to make it less dangerous, sister. It feels like they only want me around as a trophy, sometimes.” “Luna! I know you are upset, but you have to think of it in practical terms. The university can’t fund projects that are too risky.” “Hmph.” Everfree University possessed entirely too many administrative buildings. Luna had only been on staff for five years, and every semester new buildings seemed to sprout and creep across the campus. Every one of them invariably related to bureaucracy. She and Celestia walked past far too many of them. It felt like ages before they breached the section of campus devoted to housing. They walked towards Luna’s house. The university had given her a small house at the very edge of the grounds, within throwing distance of the Everfree Forest. Celestia had said it felt “peaceful” the last time she had visited. She had claimed it would be good for getting work done, that the university wanted to ensure she was not disturbed. They were so adept at shoveling rubbish. “Luna? What is on your mind? You’ve been quiet this entire walk.” Luna hesitated to answer. She doubted Celestia would understand her feelings. The university’s pet researcher would never understand. Celestia’s projects were approved promptly and instantly. It had been that way their entire lives. Being the second alicorn born to pony parents warranted no special treatment. “I don’t know,” Luna lied. “I suppose I’m wondering what is going to happen to all my work.” “It will be archived, and somepony may find a safer application for it yet. Perhaps you will, some day.” Luna didn’t answer. They had arrived at her home. “I will bid you good evening, sister.” “I know it’s hard to discard so much of your work, Luna. But this is an opportunity to try something new. This weekend, I will have to help you draft proposals for new research. Your degree is hardly going to lie fallow.” Luna fumbled with her keys and opened the door. “Thank you, sister. I suppose I had better get some rest then. Start planning what to do.” 2. Plunder Heaven BlindDoctor Luna fumbled with her keys and finally slithered into her quarters. The university’s desire to put her out of the way had worked to her advantage, this once. The walk to her lab was needlessly long, as always, but no one should have noticed her at this untenable hour. No one bothered to check the outskirts of the campus, either. She locked the door behind her, unbuttoned her lab coat and smoothed her dress. The ampoule had survived the trip in her pockets. She lit the candles and brought the glass up to the light. It appeared undisturbed. The liquid looked the proper shade of crimson, without discoloration or blemish. Reduced to smuggling my own work out of my own lab into my own home. She had contemplated the irony and insult at length already. That shortsighted board would regret denying her application. It was perfectly fine to have Celestia’s sister on the payroll, to give her grant funds and read her papers, so long as she didn’t produce anything. “Too dangerous, too vague,” they had lied to her face. Luna turned to her desk. She dug out some papers, a pen, and an inkwell. She lit more candles, just enough to make sure she could see properly. Everything hinged on documentation. Without a scientific basis, taking her own elixir would be seen as pettiness, theft, or perhaps suicide. Documentation turned her rash decision into scientific proof. The newspaper articles would paint her as a visionary and martyr, so long as she had enough evidence. The board would eat their words. Celestia would eat her words. She would show them all. She brought the ampoule into her private lab. Her proper lab dwarfed it in size and equipage, but there was nothing for that. The electric lighting worked, barely. The unmaintained bulb and flickering light it cast were better than risking candles and chemicals. This experiment required scientific rigor. She should start with a diluted dose, then move up the quantities prescribed in her research. She fished her notes out of a pile of parchment sitting on one chair, checked them for the proper doses. She retrieved her first aid kit from the hook on the wall. The contents contained only a paltry selection, but it would serve her. She extracted a syringe, a tourniquet, and alcohol swabs. She wiped the ampoule down, then broke its head off with the open end of the syringe. Unicorn telekinesis was believed to be sterile, but she had to be thorough. She could not risk any contamination of her results, and magic ingredients were known to have complications. She flipped through her papers, then drew some of the elixir into the syringe. The lowest dose should be safe enough, she thought to herself. Her research called for greater dilutions at lower levels, and she only had one test subject to work with anyway. She broke another ampoule of filtered water and drew it into the syringe. She examined the preparation carefully. The color still looked as rich and crimson as before. “It has to be done,” she muttered. She needed to do something, prove to the board and her sister and everyone else that she was not some second-rate Celestia. The tourniquet snagged at her coat. “For science,” she muttered. She pressed the needle into a vein, and pushed the plunger. The liquid burned as it entered her bloodstream. She could feel the path it took, up her foreleg, into her chest and across her back. It dragged heat with it everywhere. Luna loosened the collar of her dress. The mice had never gotten this sweaty, and certainly not so quickly. She leaned against her desk. A few beakers rattled, and she straightened herself. She felt so warm. She scratched at her thigh, at the hem of her dress, at her mane. Her coat itched. She rubbed her back legs together. The heat intensified. It pooled in her stomach, in her legs, then spread again, faster and stronger than before. Remove my dress? She shook her head. No. If she did end up in a hospital, she would not be found in such an indecent state. It would pass. Surely it would pass. None of the mice had ever died. She slumped against her desk. Her mouth felt so dry. Thirst clutched at her throat, but the thought of water did not sate it. What else would I drink? She lurched over, spread out on the floor. She should’ve asked someone to watch her, to take proper notes. Her hoof flailed, tried to find her notebook, but it found nothing. She couldn’t ask that of anyone. To watch her sit here and suffer would be torturous. The interns could not be asked to participate in illegal activities either, not even the loyal ones. I need the credit for myself. Luna shook her head. No, that wasn’t true. Not entirely. Surely not. She ran her hooves along her dress. It felt nice, the material rubbing against her coat. She pulled up the hem, rubbed her legs. The heat felt so comforting. She licked the inside of her mouth. What was she so thirsty for? Her tongue caught against one of her canines: the tooth felt longer than usual. She rolled onto her side. Perhaps this wouldn’t be so bad. The mice had never seemed different, but they had no darkness to mute, really. It had to be tested on a pony, no matter what that idiotic board said. Them. Celestia had probably pressured them into it. To suppress Luna’s project. Celestia wouldn’t do that, would she? No, of course she would. That bitch. Luna wanted to show Celestia what it felt like, to be neglected and obscure. To break her and make her suffer. Luna pushed the hem of her dress up further, ran one hoof along her legs and the other along her neck and face. The things she could do to Celestia filled her mind: the berserk, rampant, perverse things. Her body burned. She had lit a fire in her own body, and it begged to be set free. Her dress felt like a straightjacket. Bile crawled at the back of her throat. She vomited, watery sludge spilling from her throat and onto the floor. Her body felt so warm, her coat felt so smooth, but she barely noticed either. She closed her eyes. She felt so sleepy, suddenly. The heat wrapping around her body felt like a blanket. The thoughts of Celestia choking to death, of leaking everywhere as Luna caressed her sister’s throat and body. It felt so calming. Luna’s eyes snapped open. She felt her eyeballs strain and pulse. She felt her heartbeat travel across her entire body, felt her spine crack and her body shudder. Then she felt nothing. 3. You WIll Pay Dear, My DearLuna awoke violently. Her clothes had tangled into the bedsheets. A sharp, viscous taste clawed at the back of her throat. A hoof went to her head immediately. She lurched out of bed. It certainly looked like her quarters; the university had a very distinctive architectural style—lots of natural woods and slopes—and her bookshelves were immediately recognizable. She took a step forward, and her dress strained at the motion. She looked down, and her throat dried. A smear of blood covered the front of her clothes. Surely she had not strolled over to the biology department or anything like that. How had… She froze. The memories of last night flooded back to her. She had finally tested her elixir. The board had refused approval and so she had tested it on herself. It had hurt. Her entire body had burned and torn, her teeth had shifted, her skull had ached. She had blacked out. Except she hadn’t. She had gotten up. Prowled the city streets. She had encountered a mare, alone in the dark. She remembered the metallic taste of blood, the wet taste of sweat, the salty taste of… Luna clamped a hoof over her mouth, fought the urge to vomit. It can’t be… She rushed to her desk, pushed aside papers. She had written so many notes, formed so many theories. The elixir could not have done something like this. She glanced down at her dress again. The blood had started to brown, and flakes of it fell off her shirt as she moved. She scrunched her eyes shut. She tried to remember more of what had happened, but that only made the memories more vague. A mare had been waiting alone in the dark, by a street corner? Luna remembered saying something to her. She remembered a rush of adrenalin, of happiness. Nothing else came to her, just a mare in the dark and a rush of euphoria. Luna opened her eyes again and went to the bathroom. Perhaps the blood belonged to her. Perhaps she really had went to the biology department. She couldn’t have, wouldn’t have injured somepony else. She certainly would not have enjoyed it. She did not enjoy hurting ponies. She paused. Except, she had fantasized about hurting the board yesterday. She remembered that clearly. The thought had spurred her to take the elixir. The idea of seeing those smug, identical ponies fail had helped her summon the courage to drink. Celestia, as well. The thought of wounding her sister, of breaking her, that had been there too. Luna shook her head. “No, it can’t be.” She said it out loud, but the words felt disingenuous. She turned back to the table with her notes on it. Maybe something had gone wrong. Maybe something had been contaminated or altered when she handled it. Maybe it did exactly what it was supposed to? The thought had to be false. It had popped out of nowhere. Luna dug a page out of the pile of papers. Some of the mice had gotten violent. They had attacked other mice, tried to bite the aides. Some of them had injured themselves. She turned the page over. Those same mice had always calmed down, afterwards. Steady doses of the elixir, in increasing strengths, had created a seemingly positive change in behavior. That had been the catalyst for her proposal. She had learned all she could with mice. Luna looked over the page. The writing stared back at her, her own handwriting saying the same things she had just gone over in her head. She looked down at her shirt again. The blood sat there, flaking and crinkling. She couldn’t have hurt someone. It had to be some side effect or hallucination. Perhaps she had gotten drunk, had been attacked, instead of attacking someone herself. She looked around her desk again. The ampoule sat where she had left it, hastily corked. She didn’t remember closing it up. She lifted the ampoule. So much liquid remained in it. She had barely taken any. She turned to her notes. The next dose up only took a few more millilitres. She looked at her shirt again. “Too dangerous,” they had said. Celestia and the board had conspired together, come up with that lie. It had to be a lie, didn’t it? They wanted her to stay second rate, to stay under Celestia’s shadow, to be quiet and unproductive. Luna grit her teeth. She would show them. Her research only posed danger to the ignorant. She dug up another syringe, checked her notes, prepared the next dose up. She would show them. She didn’t even notice the crinkle of the blood on her shirt. She tied another tourniquet, injected herself again. It felt just like before; warm and pleasant. It happened faster, though. She barely had time to enjoy it, to reflect on what a liar and skank her sister was. She closed her eyes, and darkness took her. 4. Remember the NameLuna awoke violently. A headache gripped her, her throat felt dry. She turned to the side and tried to vomit, but no food came out. “You are finally awake.” Luna turned to the voice. Celestia sat in a chair next to the bed, looking immaculate as always. Her surgeon’s whites looked pristine, and not a single hair or part of her mane was out of place. “Celestia?” Luna glanced around. It certainly looked like a hospital. The starchy bedsheets dug into her, now that she noticed. “What happened?” “We managed to…purge your alter-ego. It wasn’t easy, but the Elements of Harmony seem to have removed it.” “Oh…” Luna turned her head back to ceiling. Memories trickled in. Of prowling the university grounds, of breaking into Celestia’s quarters, of whispered threats and insults. Of Celestia’s research assistants casting some spell. “Did…did she hurt anyone?” “She certainly tried. We managed to restrain her long enough to save you.” “And you are sure she is gone?” Luna ran a hoof through her mane. “What were you thinking, Luna? Testing that concoction on yourself, after the board denied it?” “I…I suppose I wanted to help everyone.” “Did you?” Celestia leaned forward. “That creature, Nightmare Moon, she called herself. She mentioned some…troubling things, Luna. Things about us. About how you feel, about me.” Luna screwed her eyes shut. The memories were certainly there; vague but with spots of clarity. Nightmare Moon had said so many things to Celestia, things Luna would never have dared to say. “Were they true?” Celestia whispered. “I…” Luna turned her head again, away from Celestia. Her sister did not betray emotion often. The tone of Celestia’s voice and the droop of her shoulders felt comparable to a shout. “Some things…yes, they were.” She closed her eyes again. “I’m sorry.” “Why didn’t you tell me?” “I couldn’t. I didn’t have the courage to.” “Luna, I am your sister! There is nothing you can’t tell me!” “That is the problem, Celestia!” Luna bit her lip. She continued staring at the window. The curtains were drawn. Celestia must have coerced the staff into giving her a private room. “Every time I introduce myself, the other pony mentions you. ‘Oh, you must be Celestia’s sister’, they say. Every colleague of mine compares me to you. Every student asks about you. “Sometimes, I wonder if that’s the only reason I completed my degree. The only reason I was hired here. If that was the reason I received a grant.” Luna tried to turn her body to match her head, but her foreleg tugged on a catheter. “I wanted to know, I had to know if that was true. If I could have my own success. If I was more than just your sister.” Luna heard Celestia shuffle on her seat, but did not turn towards her. “And was it worth it?” Celestia asked. “Was giving that thing control of your body…was it worth it?” Luna finally turned to Celestia. “I did not surrender to that creature! I fought against her at every moment!” “She said otherwise.” Celestia had shifted in her chair. Now she was the one staring absently at a window. “She said that you let her take control. That you wanted her to…to hurt me. To prove that you were superior, mentally and…physically.” “No…” Luna turned to the ceiling. The memories of the confrontation with Celestia were so vague. Had Nightmare Moon really said such a thing? “That isn’t true. I…I would never wish that upon anyone. It was my formula. I wanted to dilute a ponies inner darkness, to control it and restrict it. Nightmare Moon wasn’t that. She was…an amplification, a concentration. She can’t represent me, no matter how deep in my subconscious she claimed to draw from.” “I see.” Celestia’s chair scraped as she stood up. “Thank you, for finally being honest with me, sister. I am sad that it took such circumstances for you to finally trust me with such information, but I am glad you finally did. “I think it would be best if I left you alone to rest. We both need to reflect on this unfortunate incident. And I must inform the constables and the board about what has happened.” Celestia rested a hoof on Luna’s. “Do not worry, Luna. This is the beginning of healing. Rest your body and mind. We shall talk more later.” Luna closed her eyes. Perhaps Celestia was right. She ran a hoof through her mane again. The hospital room remained quiet, and the lights had been turned low enough to be comfortable, but not so bright as to be disconcerting. Luna just needed to quiet her mind and sleep. One memory of the confrontation floated to the forefront of her thoughts. Celestia’s words were still muddled, but she remembered Nightmare Moon using her throat and body to say things. “She didn’t have the courage to tell you,” Nightmare Moon had said. “That’s why I’m here.” Luna licked her lips. The words were only a memory, and she had not even said it, not really. They tasted sour nonetheless. 5. Such a Fine LineLuna stared at the newspaper. They had placed it front page, above the fold. A pair of file photos had been crudely juxtaposed below the article’s title; one of Celestia doing charity work on the left, and Luna’s university ID photo on the right. Doctor Celestia Saves Sister From Shockingly Suicidal Self-Administered Scientific Study Luna did not bother reading the article. The presentation, location, and title told her all she needed to know about the content. She flung the paper to the side. It flopped against the side of the bin without landing in it. Luna slumped back into her bed. Perhaps a public bed would have been better. At least the chattering and gossip would have distracted her from her own thoughts. The whir of machines and the occasional nurse visit failed to quiet her mind. The hospital possessed an anemic selection of books. Celestia had not been in to see her again. Only Luna’s thoughts kept her company, and it felt despicable. She had prowled the streets, she had done things to an innocent student. Luna shook her head, but the tastes and smells and sensations still polluted her memories. She licked her lips. Perhaps her next project could be a way to selectively wipe memories. Perhaps the board would reject that, too. Perhaps those memories were her hair shirt, to wear for the rest of her life. She turned back to the paper. Still no words about that student, the one beaten, desecrated and left to rot somewhere. The university might have covered it up, or the police might have suppressed the news. Finding a pony who did not exist certainly presented a challenge. It wouldn’t do to have the newspaper leaking hints to the non-existent culprit. “Hello!” Luna started. A pink, poofy pony had waltzed up to her bed. “Who are you?” “I’m Pinkie Pie, silly!” Pinkie Pie held up the front of her lab coat. A university ID adorned it, and the picture and name matched the pony. Luna’s eyes narrowed. “So Celestia sent you, then?” “Yep!” Pinkie Pie’s coat and badge snapped back into place. “I’m one of her interns.” She produced a clipboard. “I’m part of the team that helped with that whole, uhm, incident that landed you in here.” “Oh.” Luna turned to the window. “I suppose I should…thank you.” “There’s no need to thank me. After all, medicine is supposed to help ponies.” “I suppose.” Pinkie Pie scribbled something on her clipboard. The sound of her pen scratching along the paper filled the room, accompanied only by the beeping of Luna’s monitors. Luna scanned Pinkie Pie. She seemed like a standard Celestia intern; young, idealistic, bright-eyed, infuriating. The only difference seemed to be the large amount of stickers plastered to the hem of her coat and peeking out of her pockets. “Why are you laden with stickers, may I ask?” Pinkie Pie didn’t look up. “Oh, the kids were being a little silly today. I specialize in harmonic medicine, but my focus is on pediatrics.” Luna’s ears flattened. “So Celestia sent a babysitter to check on me?” “Don’t worry, I know how big ponies work too.” Pinkie Pie strolled around the bed, took readings from a machine. “But Celestia didn’t want to do it herself, and none of the other interns wanted to do it, so here I am.” Pinkie Pie glanced up. “Well, I mean…” She coughed into her sleeve. “Bedside manner, bedside manner…” she whispered. “Ahem. Noone else was available. But don’t worry, you’re in capable hooves!” Pinkie Pie scribbled again, adjusted a dial on the machine. Luna furrowed her brow. It is no surprise that Celestia would send some some clown masquerading as a doctor to check on me. Pinkie Pie looked up from her clipboard. “Excuse me?” The pen in her mouth muffled the C a little, but the meaning sounded clear. Had she said that out loud? Surely not. “I said, it is no surprise that Celestia would send some clown to check on me.” Luna clamped her mouth shut. She had not meant to…surely she had not meant to be so blunt? Pinkie Pie pointed the pen at Luna. “I’ll have you know, you’re lucky anypony is checking on you at all! You scared everyone with that stunt you pulled! Attacking your sister, going on and on about how you were going to enjoy it, and how everypony else would remember your name!” Pinkie Pie turned back to the machine, scribbled another note. “If that’s what your sort of medicine does, I’d much rather be a clown. At least my patients are happy to see me.” Pinkie Pie slid the clipboard into her coat. “It sounds like you need some alone time, Doctor Luna. I’ll be back when you’re less of a meanie.” Pinkie Pie walked out the door. After the sound of hoofsteps faded, Luna was alone with beeping machines again. Luna slumped into her bed. She thought back to the conversation with Nightmare Moon. Perhaps Nightmare Moon’s brand of “courage” had worn off on her, had lingered somehow. Luna closed her eyes, tried to ignore the thought. Perhaps forcing something back down took more effort, after it had bubbled to the surface. 6. Now and ForeverLuna lost track of time. The hospital lacked any worthwhile activities. The cheap books and food and bedsheets offered only brief annoyances. Nothing could distract her from her thoughts. She occupied her time with memories: of her conversation with Celestia, of her encounter with Pinkie Pie, of Nightmare Moon’s activities. Luna’s ear flicked. The door had opened, and Pinkie Pie had returned, clipboard and pen at the ready. “Good morning, sleepyhead! Are you feeling better today?” “Is it morning already?” “Not quite. But it would be kind of silly to say ‘good night’ when you were just waking up, wouldn’t it?” Luna turned her head. Pinkie Pie still seemed like the standard Celestia intern. “You seem… chipper,” Luna said. “Thanks!” Pinkie Pie jotted a few notes down, then turned to a different monitor. “I mean, aren’t you still upset about when I insulted you yesterday?” “That was two days ago, silly!” Pinkie Pie jotted down a few notes, but the pen did not hamper her speech. She seemed an experienced multitasker. “And no, of course not. Why would I still be upset?” “I questioned your competence, comparing you to a clown.” Luna sunk her head into the pillow. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to let that slip out.” Pinkie Pie adjusted a dial, scribbled another note. “Oh, don’t worry. We all have our bad days. Sometimes our emotions just get the best of us. That’s one thing about working with children. They get scared, and confused, and angry. They don’t always know how to control their emotions. So we need to help them, instead of taking things personal.” She turned from the machine and smiled. “Apology accepted!” Luna stared absently at Pinkie Pie. “Might I ask you a question? A personal question?” Pinkie Pie shrugged. “Sure, I guess. As long as it’s not about my favorite ice cream. Nopony could pick just one flavor.” Luna resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “Do you ever find it…difficult?” “Working with kids?” “No.” Luna bit her lip. She had rehearsed the question in her head many times. “I mean, do you ever find it hard to…maintain a facade? To continue pretending that the pony you present to everyone else is the real you?” Pinkie Pie waved a hoof. “Oh, don’t be silly. I don’t have one of those.” “I saw it slip yesterday, when you were whispering to yourself.” Luna adjusted her back, but the bed and catheter restricted her movement. “And it almost slipped again, when I insulted you.” Luna glanced at a window. “It is not an insult. It is an honest question. You do not have to answer, if you do not want to.” Pinkie Pie’s ear flicked. She turned to a machine. “I suppose…I wouldn’t say it’s hard, not really. It’s just, sometimes it makes me tired. It can take a lot of energy, to be me.” She turned to Luna. “But that’s okay. Because when I think about the alternative, I’d rather be this version of me.” “I see.” “What about you?” “I would rather not.” Pinkie Pie waggled her hoof. “Nuh-uh, fair’s fair. I answered, so you have to, too.” She stepped over to Luna’s bed. “Besides, somepony doesn’t ask a question like that out of nowhere. That’s the type of question you ask so you can answer it.” Luna looked down at her hooves. The catheter had been placed in the same spot she had injected herself with the elixir, but on the other leg. Perhaps the nurse had noticed the needle mark. “Promise you won’t tell anyone.” “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” “What?” “It’s a Pinkie Promise. Like I tell my kids, no one can ever break a Pinkie Promise.” Luna sighed. Pinkie Pie seemed trustworthy, if eccentric. Celestia’s taste in interns could not be that bad. Besides, the alternative seemed unbearable. “Of course it’s hard.” She closed her eyes. “That’s why I made that elixir. I wanted to make it easier for myself. I thought, perhaps enough magic could make that facade into the real me. Could make me better. That it could take all my darkness, all my resentment, and just stick it somewhere, make it easier to keep up my masquerade. I wanted everyone to like me, to respect me.” Luna scrunched her eyes shut. “And now look at me. The board was right. Everyone was right.” Her eyes snapped open. Pinkie Pie’s hoof rested on hers. “You don’t believe that,” Pinkie Pie whispered. “What else am I supposed to believe?” Luna turned her head away. She considered pulling her hoof away, but the catheter prevented such dramatics. “You heard what that monster said. She’s what I am underneath my facade. She h—she wanted to hurt ponies, to hurt my sister, to take power and control away from others.” Luna scrunched her eyes shut, and she felt tears dampen her cheeks. “All my research, all my work, all it did was bring that creature out.” Luna felt Pinkie Pie’s other hoof rest on her shoulder. “I was there for most of it, you know.” Pinkie Pie said. “When that Nightmare Moon came into Celestia’s office, we were all there. She said so many nasty things, so many hurtful things. She said the same thing. That she was you, under the mask.” Pinkie leaned in, lowered her voice. “But Celestia didn’t believe her. She said, nothing that vile could ever hide in her sister. She said that her sister was one of the strongest, smartest ponies she knew. “And the doppelganger paused. It believed her. And that was just enough of an opportunity to use harmonic magic on it. And when the spell cleared, you were there. Just you.” Pinkie grasped Luna’s hoof with both of hers. “Are you any less, now that she’s gone?” Pinkie withdrew. “You don’t have to answer right away. Think it over. The answer might surprise you. But I imagine that Celestia already knows it, and that you do too.” Pinkie turned to the door. “Get some rest, Doctor. I think you earned it.” deleted contentAuthor's Note My editor (correctly) pointed out that the story might be stronger solely from Luna's perspective. The story went through a few rewrites before I gave up on it, but perhaps the things I removed hold some lesson. deleted content “Why, Luna, it did exactly what you wanted.” Luna started. She scanned the room, but nopony was there besides her. Beakers clogged one table, and books piled on another, but there was nowhere for anypony to hide. “Over here.” Luna’s ear flicked. She turned to the mirror in the corner. She had only placed it there out of necessity. Too many of the other faculty had berated her for appearing unkempt. Nopony could have fit behind it. She approached it, and saw only her reflection. “Hello,” her reflection said. Before Luna could react, the image shifted. Her coat darkened until it was as black as coal. Her pupils narrowed, her mane shifted hues. Her canines became more pronounced. The change happened swiftly, like flipping the page in a book. Her clothes did not change. “What are you?” Luna whispered. The creature laughed. “Why, I’m you, of course!” Luna brought a hoof up to her chest. The mirror did not match the motion. “Darkness…” “I think Nightmare Moon sounds better, don’t you think?” She chuckled. “I thought it appropriate, considering I was born under the moonlight.” Luna glanced down at her dress. “You were the one who…who accosted that mare last night…?” Nightmare Moon licked her lips. “Oh, yes. She tasted wonderful.” “This…this cannot be. I… I diluted it before I started! I ran so many tests!” “And your potion worked perfectly!” “No!” Luna jabbed a hoof towards the mirror. “I didn’t want this! You can’t be real!” “Oh, but Luna, I am real.” Nightmare Moon took a step forward, and the mirror rippled. The glass bent and warped as a hoof slid out of it. “Why, I’m realer than you are!” Another hoof emerged from the mirror. “Tasting that pony was so…invigorating.” Nightmare Moon stepped out of the mirror, her teeth glinting in the early morning light. “I could smell her fear, taste her blood, feel her body.” She licked her lips again. “It felt incredible. More than incredible. I felt so…so alive! When was the last time you experienced such a rich sensation?” Luna stepped backward. “I just wanted to help ponies. To dilute their inner darkness. This must be some…some hallucination, some mistake…” Nightmare Moon laughed. It sounded like bells in a rainstorm, reverberant and low. “Oh come now, Luna. There’s no need to lie to me. I know why you really did it. Better than anyone else could.” Nightmare Moon stepped forward, and Luna stepped backward. Luna’s backside bumped against something. Nightmare Moon stepped forward again, and Luna had nowhere to retreat. “I can see it in your memories. Our dear sister outshined you.” “No…” “She overshadowed you.” “No…” “All the grants and admiration and newspaper articles and fame. And for what? ‘Harmonic medicine!’ Pseudo-scientific garbage!” Luna shook her head. She had been alone during that conversation. The professor had promised it was confidential. This Nightmare Moon couldn’t know that. “But I can.” Nightmare Moon stepped forward, ran a hoof along Luna’s chest. Crusted blood flaked off the fabric, fluttered to the floor. “I would think you would be happy. After all, I was your most successful experiment.” She leaned in, put a hoof on either side of Luna. “Just think, all those things our sister got, all those things you deserved, we can have them together.” “I didn’t want them like this…” “Didn’t you?” Nightmare Moon leaned in, and Luna twisted her head to the side. “Fame, fortune, recognition, power!” Nightmare Moon whispered. “We will take them all.” Nightmare Moon pushed forward, and saunk into Luna. Their faces and clothes and bodies merged. It caused no sensation. When it ended, Luna only saw herself in the mirror, alone, still covered with blood. “All you have to do is put me in charge. Just submit, and I’ll handle the rest.” Luna felt her mouth form the words, but Nightmare Moon’s voice came out. Luna screwed her eyes shut. “Is it really that simple?” “It could be,” Nightmare Moon said. “After all, everyone will find out soon enough. “That dead student, she meant nothing to us. But ponies will ask questions. They might find out about me eventually. Why make the next pony a meaningless one? Why not make it someone important? Someone satisfying?” Luna shook her head. “I…I couldn’t.” “But we could. It’s exactly what you wanted, after all.” Luna shook her head. “No!” She turned to her table. “I will not listen to this. You are a mockery of me, a crude illusion! I will not let such a creature loose.” Luna took a step forward, but her hooves did not move. She tried again, but her body remained frozen. “Oh, but Luna! I am a part of you. The most important part. I always have been, and always will be.” Luna screamed. She felt her teeth shift. Her legs cracked and crumpled. Her body burned., Ttears streaked her face. Nightmare Moon stood up. She licked her lips. “That’s a pity. It would’ve been easier, had you agreed with me. We could have experienced all these wonderful sensations together. Now you will have to make do with the memories afterwards.” She strolled over to the table, picked up a few beakers and vials. “It’s really quite simple, you know. The potion concentrates all the right things, but afterwards it stays in the system for too long.” She poured one liquid into another, added a few more from a different beaker. She swirled the bottle a bit. The liquid inside looked so innocuous: clear and shiny, like water. Nightmare Moon fished a tourniquet and syringe from the pile strewn across the desk. She tied the tourniquet onto a foreleg. “All one needs to do is purge it, and it will work perfectly.” She sunk the needle into a vein. It stung. She flung them aside and waltzed into the powder room. She lurched, but reached the toilet just as she vomited. She rose up and wiped her mouth. She licked her lips. “I will need something to get this taste out of my mouth. I should pay a visit to our dear sister. She always feigned interest in your research, after all.” Pinkie stepped into Celestia’s office. She had been in there before, a few times. It still loomed over her. Bookshelves reached to the ceiling. Books, past issues of research journals and magazines, and rewards covered every inch of them. In the center of the spacious office, Celestia’s desk sat alone. It looked immaculate and pristine, compared to the clutter around the walls. Not a single thing cluttered it, besides the sign with Celestia’s name and title, and a single photo frame. Celestia took a sip of her tea. “Please, Pinkie, have a seat.” Pinkie complied. “I just wanted to check in with you. I know it must be tricky, being handed such a unique case, let alone one so far outside your focus.” Celestia gestured to a small table in one corner. “Tea?” “No thank you, Doctor Celestia.” “Perhaps some wine? Or brandy?” “I’m fine.” Celestia leaned forward, templed her hooves. “How is she?” “I think the prognosis is positive. There’s no trace of any sort of foreign chemicals in her system, and we haven’t seen any transformations in the time we’ve been monitoring her,” Pinkie said. She had rehearsed the whole thing carefully, but the phrasing still felt odd to her. “Psychologically speaking, she will need some time.” “Of course.” Celestia leaned in again. “May I ask; what did you tell her?” “You know I can’t tell you that professor; patient confidentiality.” “Of course. But I was asking as a sister, not as a doctor.” Pinkie shook her head. “I Pinkie Promised I wouldn’t tell anyone else.” Pinkie glanced at a random book. Saying no to Celestia stung her. The concern in Celestia’s tone felt accusatory and blunt, especially since Celestia restrained her emotions so often. “I understand.” Celestia leaned back. “After everything that has happened, I imagine she would not want me to know.” “She’ll recover, eventually.” Celestia sighed. “Chemically, perhaps. I made certain the university gave her everything it could. Yet, chemicals are not my concern. I always say that harmonic medicine is there to treat what chemicals cannot. But this…” Celestia shook her head. “I’m sorry, I should not be burdening you with this. Thank you for checking in, Pinkie. I knew asking you was the correct decision. I knew you would have some insight into my sister.” “I suppose I did,” Pinkie said. “Please make sure nopony disturbs her, unless absolutely necessary.” She picked up her teacup again. “The constables and university staff are preoccupied with an…unrelated incident. I expect Luna will have time to recover before they hound her.” “Right.” “Did you have any recomendations about her treatment?” Celestia asked. “You’ve spent the most time with her, since she was admitted.” “I think she needs some more time with other ponies. She…needs a better sense of herself. Sometimes spending a lot of time alone in your own brain can ruin your perspective.” Celestia nodded. “I’ll see if Twilight is free once a week, then. I imagine the two of them would get along well enough.” She took another sip of tea. “Was there anything else?” “Who is that picture of?” Pinkie asked, gesturing at the lone photo on Celestia’s desk. She had just realized that she had never seen the other side of it. Celestia smiled. She turned the picture around. It had faded somewhat, but the subjects stared back clearly. Celestia and Luna stood together. Two framed diplomas were visible on the wall behind them. “Luna never enjoyed posing for pictures. I had to convince her that two sisters, each with their own doctorate, warranted a few minutes to take a photo.” Pinkie nodded. “I imagine this was even more upsetting for you. Having something like your sister walk in and threaten you.” Celestia pursed her lips. “I suppose it was.” “Don’t worry, Doctor. I’m sure that once this is all over, you two will be closer than ever.” Celestia nodded. “Thank you, Pinkie.” Pinkie stood up. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get to my rounds.” Celestia nodded again. “Of course. I will speak more with you later.” Pinkie left. Once the office door had clicked shut, she paused. Something felt wrong. She turned back to the door, pressed her ear against it. The faintest sound of crying wafted through. Pinkie jerked back. It felt like a piece of information she shouldn’t have. Would it comfort Luna? Or would it make her feel worse? Should she go back in and talk to Celestia? Pinkie put a hoof up to her mouth. An honorary Pinkie Promise, then. She made a mental note. Something would be done, when the two of them were ready. They had warned her that adults didn’t solve problems the same way as children most of the time, but that was okay. Pinkie turned and began trotting down the hallway. They would recover. That was her job after all. To heal the body and mind, no matter what it took. “Wake up, Luna,” Nightmare Moon whispered. Luna froze, in motion and in temperature. “I must be dreaming.” “Oh, but you are,” Nightmare Moon smiled, and the white shine of her teeth poked out of the blackness. Her other features and parts remained invisible. “But why would that make it any less real?” “They said they expunged you. Destroyed you.” “Oh, Luna, how you wound me.” Nightmare Moon’s eyes joined her smile. Her features reminded Luna of blood on snow; stark and mismatched. “I’m a part of you. Why would I ever leave?” “You can’t be here. They said you were gone.” “How could a few bits of magic remove a fundamental part of you? They might have hidden me, buried me, but they could never separate us.” Luna turned away. Nightmare Moon’s eyes and mouth waited for her, in the same position and expression, no matter where she looked. “We belong to each other,” Nightmare Moon whispered. “I am the real you, all the hate and greed and desire that you can’t admit to yourself. And you are the cracking facade that everyone else sees. Two halves of one pony.” “Leave me be, monster!” Luna tried to make a threatening gesture, but her body remained still. Nightmare Moon’s mane joined her other features, starry and bright in the black void. “Just imagine what we could do for each other! I already helped you confess your feelings to Celestia, helped you tell off that clown trying to treat you. Just think about what we could accomplish if you set me free, if we worked as one. It would be gorgeous, exhilarating, euphoric!” The last word leaked out of Luna’s mouth. She clamped her mouth shut, shook her head violently. “No! Tempt me all you like, but you are not a part of me! You can not be!” Nightmare Moon leaned in. “Why? Because that pink clown said so? Because she claims Celestia thinks that?” Her nose and neck leaked out of the darkness. “Would it be so bad, for us to work together, as one perfect creature?” She draped a hoof over Luna’s shoulder, whispered in Luna’s ear. “I didn’t want to take control of you, really. I was just doing what you wanted, and you resisted so much. We could strike Celestia down, if we were of one mind.” Luna kicked backward, but her legs did not connect with anything. Nightmare Moon stood a few feet away, still smiling. “So violent,” Nightmare Moon whispered. “I understand, now. You are here as a test.” “I am here to help you understand the truth. You are nothing without me, and we are everything together.” “If you will come to tempt me every night, then so be it. I will be ready. I will not shy away from penance for my failure.” “You find me so torturous?” Nightmare Moon asked? “We felt differently, not long ago. The feel of another’s body on ours, the taste of their blood and the smell of their fear. You were there.” “It is only fitting,” Luna muttered. “My arrogance, my incautious measurements, my research, they let you take hold of me. If I must relive those memories, if I must confront you each night in my dreams, then it is only fair.” Nightmare Moon laughed. “And how long will that resolve last? How long before suppressing your true self breaks you apart?” Nightmare Moon’s face cracked, cuts spiderwebbing across her mane and nose and neck. “And how long before I pick up the pieces, and put you back together?” ~~Luna’s eyes snapped open. She jolted out of bed, the catheter stinging her foreleg and the starchy sheets constricting her chest.~~ 7. Darkness There, And Nothing MoreLuna’s eyes snapped open. She jolted out of bed, the catheter stinging her foreleg and the starchy sheets constricting her chest. She glanced around. The Nightmare had seemed so real. Speaking to her, taunting her, telling her dastardly lies and vicious truths. “Doctor Luna!” Pinkie Pie put a hoof across Luna’s chest, forced her back down. “Thank goodness you woke up! The machines were getting readings of increased heart rate and cortisol production. I came in and you were thrashing in your sleep. Are you okay?” Luna wiped her forehead. Sweat glistened on her coat. She shifted, and felt the dampness of the blankets. “I...I am fine,” she lied. “It was just a bad dream.” Pinkie Pie pushed Luna back into the bed. “Stress is very bad for recovery. Do you need some sleep aids?” Luna shook her head. “No, thank you. I think it is just the recent events. I will adjust, eventually.” “Very well.” Pinkie Pie made some notes on her clipboard. “I’ll let you rest before breakfast, then. Call me or a nurse if anything comes up.” Luna nodded, and Pinkie Pie left. Luna leaned back against her pillows. Nopony needed to know. A Nightmare now and then was a small price to pay. She would adjust…eventually. Author's Note I can say, without doubt or facetious self-deprecation, that this story is not good. I originally wrote it because of a flash of inspiration from two particular songs, and perhaps a desire to write a non-parody crossover. The final product doesn't have many merits as a story, but perhaps it represents some lessons as a writer.
1. My Only FriendThe board of directors all looked so similar. Clothes covered their cutie marks. They all possessed similarly short, executive haircuts. They sat in identical chairs, and the wide desk showed no dents or scratches in its smooth finish. The board member in the center adjusted her glasses. “I’m afraid the board has decided to discontinue your research.” Doctor Luna stiffened. “And may I ask why?” A different board member shuffled the papers in front of him. “We have concluded that it is too dangerous. The effects are too vague.” Luna grit her teeth. “That is the point of researching it further.” A third board member shuffled her papers. Even their movements looked similar. “We read your reports thoroughly. It seems that the mice all experienced extremely varied effects.” Another shuffle. “And even though the elixir is supposed to ‘dilute a pony’s inner darkness’, the exact nature of that endeavor remains unclear.” “And how am I supposed to research the effects further, without pony test subjects?” Luna tried to keep her voice even. She could tell she had failed, even before the words left her mouth. “We understand you are upset, Doctor Luna. You’ve spent most of your time at the university on this project. But we cannot, in good conscience, approve further testing. It is too dangerous.” Luna grit her teeth again. “Thank you for your time, then,” she muttered. Celestia had waited for her outside the large mahogany doors. “I’m sorry, Luna.” She sounded insincere, as always. “Did you know about this?” Luna asked. “No. But I’m afraid your expression gave it away.” “Hmph.” Luna tugged at her collar. Her clothes felt even more uncomfortable than usual. Obviously one needed to dress up for a meeting, but her outfit felt awkward. Her mane looked the same as ever. Celestia looked immaculate, as usual. “Let me walk you home. It might help you calm down.” Luna undid a shirt button as soon as they were outside. The scrutiny of the board had exacerbated the constriction of her clothing. “Waste of my time,” she muttered. “Everyone has to go to meetings, Luna,” “Not that. I mean this entire charade. Why did they bother to hire me if they were going to dismiss all my contributions so readily?” “Perhaps they thought it was too dangerous.” Luna stiffened. The same wording the board had used. “The entire point of research is to make it less dangerous, sister. It feels like they only want me around as a trophy, sometimes.” “Luna! I know you are upset, but you have to think of it in practical terms. The university can’t fund projects that are too risky.” “Hmph.” Everfree University possessed entirely too many administrative buildings. Luna had only been on staff for five years, and every semester new buildings seemed to sprout and creep across the campus. Every one of them invariably related to bureaucracy. She and Celestia walked past far too many of them. It felt like ages before they breached the section of campus devoted to housing. They walked towards Luna’s house. The university had given her a small house at the very edge of the grounds, within throwing distance of the Everfree Forest. Celestia had said it felt “peaceful” the last time she had visited. She had claimed it would be good for getting work done, that the university wanted to ensure she was not disturbed. They were so adept at shoveling rubbish. “Luna? What is on your mind? You’ve been quiet this entire walk.” Luna hesitated to answer. She doubted Celestia would understand her feelings. The university’s pet researcher would never understand. Celestia’s projects were approved promptly and instantly. It had been that way their entire lives. Being the second alicorn born to pony parents warranted no special treatment. “I don’t know,” Luna lied. “I suppose I’m wondering what is going to happen to all my work.” “It will be archived, and somepony may find a safer application for it yet. Perhaps you will, some day.” Luna didn’t answer. They had arrived at her home. “I will bid you good evening, sister.” “I know it’s hard to discard so much of your work, Luna. But this is an opportunity to try something new. This weekend, I will have to help you draft proposals for new research. Your degree is hardly going to lie fallow.” Luna fumbled with her keys and opened the door. “Thank you, sister. I suppose I had better get some rest then. Start planning what to do.”
2. Plunder Heaven BlindDoctor Luna fumbled with her keys and finally slithered into her quarters. The university’s desire to put her out of the way had worked to her advantage, this once. The walk to her lab was needlessly long, as always, but no one should have noticed her at this untenable hour. No one bothered to check the outskirts of the campus, either. She locked the door behind her, unbuttoned her lab coat and smoothed her dress. The ampoule had survived the trip in her pockets. She lit the candles and brought the glass up to the light. It appeared undisturbed. The liquid looked the proper shade of crimson, without discoloration or blemish. Reduced to smuggling my own work out of my own lab into my own home. She had contemplated the irony and insult at length already. That shortsighted board would regret denying her application. It was perfectly fine to have Celestia’s sister on the payroll, to give her grant funds and read her papers, so long as she didn’t produce anything. “Too dangerous, too vague,” they had lied to her face. Luna turned to her desk. She dug out some papers, a pen, and an inkwell. She lit more candles, just enough to make sure she could see properly. Everything hinged on documentation. Without a scientific basis, taking her own elixir would be seen as pettiness, theft, or perhaps suicide. Documentation turned her rash decision into scientific proof. The newspaper articles would paint her as a visionary and martyr, so long as she had enough evidence. The board would eat their words. Celestia would eat her words. She would show them all. She brought the ampoule into her private lab. Her proper lab dwarfed it in size and equipage, but there was nothing for that. The electric lighting worked, barely. The unmaintained bulb and flickering light it cast were better than risking candles and chemicals. This experiment required scientific rigor. She should start with a diluted dose, then move up the quantities prescribed in her research. She fished her notes out of a pile of parchment sitting on one chair, checked them for the proper doses. She retrieved her first aid kit from the hook on the wall. The contents contained only a paltry selection, but it would serve her. She extracted a syringe, a tourniquet, and alcohol swabs. She wiped the ampoule down, then broke its head off with the open end of the syringe. Unicorn telekinesis was believed to be sterile, but she had to be thorough. She could not risk any contamination of her results, and magic ingredients were known to have complications. She flipped through her papers, then drew some of the elixir into the syringe. The lowest dose should be safe enough, she thought to herself. Her research called for greater dilutions at lower levels, and she only had one test subject to work with anyway. She broke another ampoule of filtered water and drew it into the syringe. She examined the preparation carefully. The color still looked as rich and crimson as before. “It has to be done,” she muttered. She needed to do something, prove to the board and her sister and everyone else that she was not some second-rate Celestia. The tourniquet snagged at her coat. “For science,” she muttered. She pressed the needle into a vein, and pushed the plunger. The liquid burned as it entered her bloodstream. She could feel the path it took, up her foreleg, into her chest and across her back. It dragged heat with it everywhere. Luna loosened the collar of her dress. The mice had never gotten this sweaty, and certainly not so quickly. She leaned against her desk. A few beakers rattled, and she straightened herself. She felt so warm. She scratched at her thigh, at the hem of her dress, at her mane. Her coat itched. She rubbed her back legs together. The heat intensified. It pooled in her stomach, in her legs, then spread again, faster and stronger than before. Remove my dress? She shook her head. No. If she did end up in a hospital, she would not be found in such an indecent state. It would pass. Surely it would pass. None of the mice had ever died. She slumped against her desk. Her mouth felt so dry. Thirst clutched at her throat, but the thought of water did not sate it. What else would I drink? She lurched over, spread out on the floor. She should’ve asked someone to watch her, to take proper notes. Her hoof flailed, tried to find her notebook, but it found nothing. She couldn’t ask that of anyone. To watch her sit here and suffer would be torturous. The interns could not be asked to participate in illegal activities either, not even the loyal ones. I need the credit for myself. Luna shook her head. No, that wasn’t true. Not entirely. Surely not. She ran her hooves along her dress. It felt nice, the material rubbing against her coat. She pulled up the hem, rubbed her legs. The heat felt so comforting. She licked the inside of her mouth. What was she so thirsty for? Her tongue caught against one of her canines: the tooth felt longer than usual. She rolled onto her side. Perhaps this wouldn’t be so bad. The mice had never seemed different, but they had no darkness to mute, really. It had to be tested on a pony, no matter what that idiotic board said. Them. Celestia had probably pressured them into it. To suppress Luna’s project. Celestia wouldn’t do that, would she? No, of course she would. That bitch. Luna wanted to show Celestia what it felt like, to be neglected and obscure. To break her and make her suffer. Luna pushed the hem of her dress up further, ran one hoof along her legs and the other along her neck and face. The things she could do to Celestia filled her mind: the berserk, rampant, perverse things. Her body burned. She had lit a fire in her own body, and it begged to be set free. Her dress felt like a straightjacket. Bile crawled at the back of her throat. She vomited, watery sludge spilling from her throat and onto the floor. Her body felt so warm, her coat felt so smooth, but she barely noticed either. She closed her eyes. She felt so sleepy, suddenly. The heat wrapping around her body felt like a blanket. The thoughts of Celestia choking to death, of leaking everywhere as Luna caressed her sister’s throat and body. It felt so calming. Luna’s eyes snapped open. She felt her eyeballs strain and pulse. She felt her heartbeat travel across her entire body, felt her spine crack and her body shudder. Then she felt nothing.
3. You WIll Pay Dear, My DearLuna awoke violently. Her clothes had tangled into the bedsheets. A sharp, viscous taste clawed at the back of her throat. A hoof went to her head immediately. She lurched out of bed. It certainly looked like her quarters; the university had a very distinctive architectural style—lots of natural woods and slopes—and her bookshelves were immediately recognizable. She took a step forward, and her dress strained at the motion. She looked down, and her throat dried. A smear of blood covered the front of her clothes. Surely she had not strolled over to the biology department or anything like that. How had… She froze. The memories of last night flooded back to her. She had finally tested her elixir. The board had refused approval and so she had tested it on herself. It had hurt. Her entire body had burned and torn, her teeth had shifted, her skull had ached. She had blacked out. Except she hadn’t. She had gotten up. Prowled the city streets. She had encountered a mare, alone in the dark. She remembered the metallic taste of blood, the wet taste of sweat, the salty taste of… Luna clamped a hoof over her mouth, fought the urge to vomit. It can’t be… She rushed to her desk, pushed aside papers. She had written so many notes, formed so many theories. The elixir could not have done something like this. She glanced down at her dress again. The blood had started to brown, and flakes of it fell off her shirt as she moved. She scrunched her eyes shut. She tried to remember more of what had happened, but that only made the memories more vague. A mare had been waiting alone in the dark, by a street corner? Luna remembered saying something to her. She remembered a rush of adrenalin, of happiness. Nothing else came to her, just a mare in the dark and a rush of euphoria. Luna opened her eyes again and went to the bathroom. Perhaps the blood belonged to her. Perhaps she really had went to the biology department. She couldn’t have, wouldn’t have injured somepony else. She certainly would not have enjoyed it. She did not enjoy hurting ponies. She paused. Except, she had fantasized about hurting the board yesterday. She remembered that clearly. The thought had spurred her to take the elixir. The idea of seeing those smug, identical ponies fail had helped her summon the courage to drink. Celestia, as well. The thought of wounding her sister, of breaking her, that had been there too. Luna shook her head. “No, it can’t be.” She said it out loud, but the words felt disingenuous. She turned back to the table with her notes on it. Maybe something had gone wrong. Maybe something had been contaminated or altered when she handled it. Maybe it did exactly what it was supposed to? The thought had to be false. It had popped out of nowhere. Luna dug a page out of the pile of papers. Some of the mice had gotten violent. They had attacked other mice, tried to bite the aides. Some of them had injured themselves. She turned the page over. Those same mice had always calmed down, afterwards. Steady doses of the elixir, in increasing strengths, had created a seemingly positive change in behavior. That had been the catalyst for her proposal. She had learned all she could with mice. Luna looked over the page. The writing stared back at her, her own handwriting saying the same things she had just gone over in her head. She looked down at her shirt again. The blood sat there, flaking and crinkling. She couldn’t have hurt someone. It had to be some side effect or hallucination. Perhaps she had gotten drunk, had been attacked, instead of attacking someone herself. She looked around her desk again. The ampoule sat where she had left it, hastily corked. She didn’t remember closing it up. She lifted the ampoule. So much liquid remained in it. She had barely taken any. She turned to her notes. The next dose up only took a few more millilitres. She looked at her shirt again. “Too dangerous,” they had said. Celestia and the board had conspired together, come up with that lie. It had to be a lie, didn’t it? They wanted her to stay second rate, to stay under Celestia’s shadow, to be quiet and unproductive. Luna grit her teeth. She would show them. Her research only posed danger to the ignorant. She dug up another syringe, checked her notes, prepared the next dose up. She would show them. She didn’t even notice the crinkle of the blood on her shirt. She tied another tourniquet, injected herself again. It felt just like before; warm and pleasant. It happened faster, though. She barely had time to enjoy it, to reflect on what a liar and skank her sister was. She closed her eyes, and darkness took her.
4. Remember the NameLuna awoke violently. A headache gripped her, her throat felt dry. She turned to the side and tried to vomit, but no food came out. “You are finally awake.” Luna turned to the voice. Celestia sat in a chair next to the bed, looking immaculate as always. Her surgeon’s whites looked pristine, and not a single hair or part of her mane was out of place. “Celestia?” Luna glanced around. It certainly looked like a hospital. The starchy bedsheets dug into her, now that she noticed. “What happened?” “We managed to…purge your alter-ego. It wasn’t easy, but the Elements of Harmony seem to have removed it.” “Oh…” Luna turned her head back to ceiling. Memories trickled in. Of prowling the university grounds, of breaking into Celestia’s quarters, of whispered threats and insults. Of Celestia’s research assistants casting some spell. “Did…did she hurt anyone?” “She certainly tried. We managed to restrain her long enough to save you.” “And you are sure she is gone?” Luna ran a hoof through her mane. “What were you thinking, Luna? Testing that concoction on yourself, after the board denied it?” “I…I suppose I wanted to help everyone.” “Did you?” Celestia leaned forward. “That creature, Nightmare Moon, she called herself. She mentioned some…troubling things, Luna. Things about us. About how you feel, about me.” Luna screwed her eyes shut. The memories were certainly there; vague but with spots of clarity. Nightmare Moon had said so many things to Celestia, things Luna would never have dared to say. “Were they true?” Celestia whispered. “I…” Luna turned her head again, away from Celestia. Her sister did not betray emotion often. The tone of Celestia’s voice and the droop of her shoulders felt comparable to a shout. “Some things…yes, they were.” She closed her eyes again. “I’m sorry.” “Why didn’t you tell me?” “I couldn’t. I didn’t have the courage to.” “Luna, I am your sister! There is nothing you can’t tell me!” “That is the problem, Celestia!” Luna bit her lip. She continued staring at the window. The curtains were drawn. Celestia must have coerced the staff into giving her a private room. “Every time I introduce myself, the other pony mentions you. ‘Oh, you must be Celestia’s sister’, they say. Every colleague of mine compares me to you. Every student asks about you. “Sometimes, I wonder if that’s the only reason I completed my degree. The only reason I was hired here. If that was the reason I received a grant.” Luna tried to turn her body to match her head, but her foreleg tugged on a catheter. “I wanted to know, I had to know if that was true. If I could have my own success. If I was more than just your sister.” Luna heard Celestia shuffle on her seat, but did not turn towards her. “And was it worth it?” Celestia asked. “Was giving that thing control of your body…was it worth it?” Luna finally turned to Celestia. “I did not surrender to that creature! I fought against her at every moment!” “She said otherwise.” Celestia had shifted in her chair. Now she was the one staring absently at a window. “She said that you let her take control. That you wanted her to…to hurt me. To prove that you were superior, mentally and…physically.” “No…” Luna turned to the ceiling. The memories of the confrontation with Celestia were so vague. Had Nightmare Moon really said such a thing? “That isn’t true. I…I would never wish that upon anyone. It was my formula. I wanted to dilute a ponies inner darkness, to control it and restrict it. Nightmare Moon wasn’t that. She was…an amplification, a concentration. She can’t represent me, no matter how deep in my subconscious she claimed to draw from.” “I see.” Celestia’s chair scraped as she stood up. “Thank you, for finally being honest with me, sister. I am sad that it took such circumstances for you to finally trust me with such information, but I am glad you finally did. “I think it would be best if I left you alone to rest. We both need to reflect on this unfortunate incident. And I must inform the constables and the board about what has happened.” Celestia rested a hoof on Luna’s. “Do not worry, Luna. This is the beginning of healing. Rest your body and mind. We shall talk more later.” Luna closed her eyes. Perhaps Celestia was right. She ran a hoof through her mane again. The hospital room remained quiet, and the lights had been turned low enough to be comfortable, but not so bright as to be disconcerting. Luna just needed to quiet her mind and sleep. One memory of the confrontation floated to the forefront of her thoughts. Celestia’s words were still muddled, but she remembered Nightmare Moon using her throat and body to say things. “She didn’t have the courage to tell you,” Nightmare Moon had said. “That’s why I’m here.” Luna licked her lips. The words were only a memory, and she had not even said it, not really. They tasted sour nonetheless.
5. Such a Fine LineLuna stared at the newspaper. They had placed it front page, above the fold. A pair of file photos had been crudely juxtaposed below the article’s title; one of Celestia doing charity work on the left, and Luna’s university ID photo on the right. Doctor Celestia Saves Sister From Shockingly Suicidal Self-Administered Scientific Study Luna did not bother reading the article. The presentation, location, and title told her all she needed to know about the content. She flung the paper to the side. It flopped against the side of the bin without landing in it. Luna slumped back into her bed. Perhaps a public bed would have been better. At least the chattering and gossip would have distracted her from her own thoughts. The whir of machines and the occasional nurse visit failed to quiet her mind. The hospital possessed an anemic selection of books. Celestia had not been in to see her again. Only Luna’s thoughts kept her company, and it felt despicable. She had prowled the streets, she had done things to an innocent student. Luna shook her head, but the tastes and smells and sensations still polluted her memories. She licked her lips. Perhaps her next project could be a way to selectively wipe memories. Perhaps the board would reject that, too. Perhaps those memories were her hair shirt, to wear for the rest of her life. She turned back to the paper. Still no words about that student, the one beaten, desecrated and left to rot somewhere. The university might have covered it up, or the police might have suppressed the news. Finding a pony who did not exist certainly presented a challenge. It wouldn’t do to have the newspaper leaking hints to the non-existent culprit. “Hello!” Luna started. A pink, poofy pony had waltzed up to her bed. “Who are you?” “I’m Pinkie Pie, silly!” Pinkie Pie held up the front of her lab coat. A university ID adorned it, and the picture and name matched the pony. Luna’s eyes narrowed. “So Celestia sent you, then?” “Yep!” Pinkie Pie’s coat and badge snapped back into place. “I’m one of her interns.” She produced a clipboard. “I’m part of the team that helped with that whole, uhm, incident that landed you in here.” “Oh.” Luna turned to the window. “I suppose I should…thank you.” “There’s no need to thank me. After all, medicine is supposed to help ponies.” “I suppose.” Pinkie Pie scribbled something on her clipboard. The sound of her pen scratching along the paper filled the room, accompanied only by the beeping of Luna’s monitors. Luna scanned Pinkie Pie. She seemed like a standard Celestia intern; young, idealistic, bright-eyed, infuriating. The only difference seemed to be the large amount of stickers plastered to the hem of her coat and peeking out of her pockets. “Why are you laden with stickers, may I ask?” Pinkie Pie didn’t look up. “Oh, the kids were being a little silly today. I specialize in harmonic medicine, but my focus is on pediatrics.” Luna’s ears flattened. “So Celestia sent a babysitter to check on me?” “Don’t worry, I know how big ponies work too.” Pinkie Pie strolled around the bed, took readings from a machine. “But Celestia didn’t want to do it herself, and none of the other interns wanted to do it, so here I am.” Pinkie Pie glanced up. “Well, I mean…” She coughed into her sleeve. “Bedside manner, bedside manner…” she whispered. “Ahem. Noone else was available. But don’t worry, you’re in capable hooves!” Pinkie Pie scribbled again, adjusted a dial on the machine. Luna furrowed her brow. It is no surprise that Celestia would send some some clown masquerading as a doctor to check on me. Pinkie Pie looked up from her clipboard. “Excuse me?” The pen in her mouth muffled the C a little, but the meaning sounded clear. Had she said that out loud? Surely not. “I said, it is no surprise that Celestia would send some clown to check on me.” Luna clamped her mouth shut. She had not meant to…surely she had not meant to be so blunt? Pinkie Pie pointed the pen at Luna. “I’ll have you know, you’re lucky anypony is checking on you at all! You scared everyone with that stunt you pulled! Attacking your sister, going on and on about how you were going to enjoy it, and how everypony else would remember your name!” Pinkie Pie turned back to the machine, scribbled another note. “If that’s what your sort of medicine does, I’d much rather be a clown. At least my patients are happy to see me.” Pinkie Pie slid the clipboard into her coat. “It sounds like you need some alone time, Doctor Luna. I’ll be back when you’re less of a meanie.” Pinkie Pie walked out the door. After the sound of hoofsteps faded, Luna was alone with beeping machines again. Luna slumped into her bed. She thought back to the conversation with Nightmare Moon. Perhaps Nightmare Moon’s brand of “courage” had worn off on her, had lingered somehow. Luna closed her eyes, tried to ignore the thought. Perhaps forcing something back down took more effort, after it had bubbled to the surface.
6. Now and ForeverLuna lost track of time. The hospital lacked any worthwhile activities. The cheap books and food and bedsheets offered only brief annoyances. Nothing could distract her from her thoughts. She occupied her time with memories: of her conversation with Celestia, of her encounter with Pinkie Pie, of Nightmare Moon’s activities. Luna’s ear flicked. The door had opened, and Pinkie Pie had returned, clipboard and pen at the ready. “Good morning, sleepyhead! Are you feeling better today?” “Is it morning already?” “Not quite. But it would be kind of silly to say ‘good night’ when you were just waking up, wouldn’t it?” Luna turned her head. Pinkie Pie still seemed like the standard Celestia intern. “You seem… chipper,” Luna said. “Thanks!” Pinkie Pie jotted a few notes down, then turned to a different monitor. “I mean, aren’t you still upset about when I insulted you yesterday?” “That was two days ago, silly!” Pinkie Pie jotted down a few notes, but the pen did not hamper her speech. She seemed an experienced multitasker. “And no, of course not. Why would I still be upset?” “I questioned your competence, comparing you to a clown.” Luna sunk her head into the pillow. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to let that slip out.” Pinkie Pie adjusted a dial, scribbled another note. “Oh, don’t worry. We all have our bad days. Sometimes our emotions just get the best of us. That’s one thing about working with children. They get scared, and confused, and angry. They don’t always know how to control their emotions. So we need to help them, instead of taking things personal.” She turned from the machine and smiled. “Apology accepted!” Luna stared absently at Pinkie Pie. “Might I ask you a question? A personal question?” Pinkie Pie shrugged. “Sure, I guess. As long as it’s not about my favorite ice cream. Nopony could pick just one flavor.” Luna resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “Do you ever find it…difficult?” “Working with kids?” “No.” Luna bit her lip. She had rehearsed the question in her head many times. “I mean, do you ever find it hard to…maintain a facade? To continue pretending that the pony you present to everyone else is the real you?” Pinkie Pie waved a hoof. “Oh, don’t be silly. I don’t have one of those.” “I saw it slip yesterday, when you were whispering to yourself.” Luna adjusted her back, but the bed and catheter restricted her movement. “And it almost slipped again, when I insulted you.” Luna glanced at a window. “It is not an insult. It is an honest question. You do not have to answer, if you do not want to.” Pinkie Pie’s ear flicked. She turned to a machine. “I suppose…I wouldn’t say it’s hard, not really. It’s just, sometimes it makes me tired. It can take a lot of energy, to be me.” She turned to Luna. “But that’s okay. Because when I think about the alternative, I’d rather be this version of me.” “I see.” “What about you?” “I would rather not.” Pinkie Pie waggled her hoof. “Nuh-uh, fair’s fair. I answered, so you have to, too.” She stepped over to Luna’s bed. “Besides, somepony doesn’t ask a question like that out of nowhere. That’s the type of question you ask so you can answer it.” Luna looked down at her hooves. The catheter had been placed in the same spot she had injected herself with the elixir, but on the other leg. Perhaps the nurse had noticed the needle mark. “Promise you won’t tell anyone.” “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” “What?” “It’s a Pinkie Promise. Like I tell my kids, no one can ever break a Pinkie Promise.” Luna sighed. Pinkie Pie seemed trustworthy, if eccentric. Celestia’s taste in interns could not be that bad. Besides, the alternative seemed unbearable. “Of course it’s hard.” She closed her eyes. “That’s why I made that elixir. I wanted to make it easier for myself. I thought, perhaps enough magic could make that facade into the real me. Could make me better. That it could take all my darkness, all my resentment, and just stick it somewhere, make it easier to keep up my masquerade. I wanted everyone to like me, to respect me.” Luna scrunched her eyes shut. “And now look at me. The board was right. Everyone was right.” Her eyes snapped open. Pinkie Pie’s hoof rested on hers. “You don’t believe that,” Pinkie Pie whispered. “What else am I supposed to believe?” Luna turned her head away. She considered pulling her hoof away, but the catheter prevented such dramatics. “You heard what that monster said. She’s what I am underneath my facade. She h—she wanted to hurt ponies, to hurt my sister, to take power and control away from others.” Luna scrunched her eyes shut, and she felt tears dampen her cheeks. “All my research, all my work, all it did was bring that creature out.” Luna felt Pinkie Pie’s other hoof rest on her shoulder. “I was there for most of it, you know.” Pinkie Pie said. “When that Nightmare Moon came into Celestia’s office, we were all there. She said so many nasty things, so many hurtful things. She said the same thing. That she was you, under the mask.” Pinkie leaned in, lowered her voice. “But Celestia didn’t believe her. She said, nothing that vile could ever hide in her sister. She said that her sister was one of the strongest, smartest ponies she knew. “And the doppelganger paused. It believed her. And that was just enough of an opportunity to use harmonic magic on it. And when the spell cleared, you were there. Just you.” Pinkie grasped Luna’s hoof with both of hers. “Are you any less, now that she’s gone?” Pinkie withdrew. “You don’t have to answer right away. Think it over. The answer might surprise you. But I imagine that Celestia already knows it, and that you do too.” Pinkie turned to the door. “Get some rest, Doctor. I think you earned it.”
deleted contentAuthor's Note My editor (correctly) pointed out that the story might be stronger solely from Luna's perspective. The story went through a few rewrites before I gave up on it, but perhaps the things I removed hold some lesson. deleted content “Why, Luna, it did exactly what you wanted.” Luna started. She scanned the room, but nopony was there besides her. Beakers clogged one table, and books piled on another, but there was nowhere for anypony to hide. “Over here.” Luna’s ear flicked. She turned to the mirror in the corner. She had only placed it there out of necessity. Too many of the other faculty had berated her for appearing unkempt. Nopony could have fit behind it. She approached it, and saw only her reflection. “Hello,” her reflection said. Before Luna could react, the image shifted. Her coat darkened until it was as black as coal. Her pupils narrowed, her mane shifted hues. Her canines became more pronounced. The change happened swiftly, like flipping the page in a book. Her clothes did not change. “What are you?” Luna whispered. The creature laughed. “Why, I’m you, of course!” Luna brought a hoof up to her chest. The mirror did not match the motion. “Darkness…” “I think Nightmare Moon sounds better, don’t you think?” She chuckled. “I thought it appropriate, considering I was born under the moonlight.” Luna glanced down at her dress. “You were the one who…who accosted that mare last night…?” Nightmare Moon licked her lips. “Oh, yes. She tasted wonderful.” “This…this cannot be. I… I diluted it before I started! I ran so many tests!” “And your potion worked perfectly!” “No!” Luna jabbed a hoof towards the mirror. “I didn’t want this! You can’t be real!” “Oh, but Luna, I am real.” Nightmare Moon took a step forward, and the mirror rippled. The glass bent and warped as a hoof slid out of it. “Why, I’m realer than you are!” Another hoof emerged from the mirror. “Tasting that pony was so…invigorating.” Nightmare Moon stepped out of the mirror, her teeth glinting in the early morning light. “I could smell her fear, taste her blood, feel her body.” She licked her lips again. “It felt incredible. More than incredible. I felt so…so alive! When was the last time you experienced such a rich sensation?” Luna stepped backward. “I just wanted to help ponies. To dilute their inner darkness. This must be some…some hallucination, some mistake…” Nightmare Moon laughed. It sounded like bells in a rainstorm, reverberant and low. “Oh come now, Luna. There’s no need to lie to me. I know why you really did it. Better than anyone else could.” Nightmare Moon stepped forward, and Luna stepped backward. Luna’s backside bumped against something. Nightmare Moon stepped forward again, and Luna had nowhere to retreat. “I can see it in your memories. Our dear sister outshined you.” “No…” “She overshadowed you.” “No…” “All the grants and admiration and newspaper articles and fame. And for what? ‘Harmonic medicine!’ Pseudo-scientific garbage!” Luna shook her head. She had been alone during that conversation. The professor had promised it was confidential. This Nightmare Moon couldn’t know that. “But I can.” Nightmare Moon stepped forward, ran a hoof along Luna’s chest. Crusted blood flaked off the fabric, fluttered to the floor. “I would think you would be happy. After all, I was your most successful experiment.” She leaned in, put a hoof on either side of Luna. “Just think, all those things our sister got, all those things you deserved, we can have them together.” “I didn’t want them like this…” “Didn’t you?” Nightmare Moon leaned in, and Luna twisted her head to the side. “Fame, fortune, recognition, power!” Nightmare Moon whispered. “We will take them all.” Nightmare Moon pushed forward, and saunk into Luna. Their faces and clothes and bodies merged. It caused no sensation. When it ended, Luna only saw herself in the mirror, alone, still covered with blood. “All you have to do is put me in charge. Just submit, and I’ll handle the rest.” Luna felt her mouth form the words, but Nightmare Moon’s voice came out. Luna screwed her eyes shut. “Is it really that simple?” “It could be,” Nightmare Moon said. “After all, everyone will find out soon enough. “That dead student, she meant nothing to us. But ponies will ask questions. They might find out about me eventually. Why make the next pony a meaningless one? Why not make it someone important? Someone satisfying?” Luna shook her head. “I…I couldn’t.” “But we could. It’s exactly what you wanted, after all.” Luna shook her head. “No!” She turned to her table. “I will not listen to this. You are a mockery of me, a crude illusion! I will not let such a creature loose.” Luna took a step forward, but her hooves did not move. She tried again, but her body remained frozen. “Oh, but Luna! I am a part of you. The most important part. I always have been, and always will be.” Luna screamed. She felt her teeth shift. Her legs cracked and crumpled. Her body burned., Ttears streaked her face. Nightmare Moon stood up. She licked her lips. “That’s a pity. It would’ve been easier, had you agreed with me. We could have experienced all these wonderful sensations together. Now you will have to make do with the memories afterwards.” She strolled over to the table, picked up a few beakers and vials. “It’s really quite simple, you know. The potion concentrates all the right things, but afterwards it stays in the system for too long.” She poured one liquid into another, added a few more from a different beaker. She swirled the bottle a bit. The liquid inside looked so innocuous: clear and shiny, like water. Nightmare Moon fished a tourniquet and syringe from the pile strewn across the desk. She tied the tourniquet onto a foreleg. “All one needs to do is purge it, and it will work perfectly.” She sunk the needle into a vein. It stung. She flung them aside and waltzed into the powder room. She lurched, but reached the toilet just as she vomited. She rose up and wiped her mouth. She licked her lips. “I will need something to get this taste out of my mouth. I should pay a visit to our dear sister. She always feigned interest in your research, after all.” Pinkie stepped into Celestia’s office. She had been in there before, a few times. It still loomed over her. Bookshelves reached to the ceiling. Books, past issues of research journals and magazines, and rewards covered every inch of them. In the center of the spacious office, Celestia’s desk sat alone. It looked immaculate and pristine, compared to the clutter around the walls. Not a single thing cluttered it, besides the sign with Celestia’s name and title, and a single photo frame. Celestia took a sip of her tea. “Please, Pinkie, have a seat.” Pinkie complied. “I just wanted to check in with you. I know it must be tricky, being handed such a unique case, let alone one so far outside your focus.” Celestia gestured to a small table in one corner. “Tea?” “No thank you, Doctor Celestia.” “Perhaps some wine? Or brandy?” “I’m fine.” Celestia leaned forward, templed her hooves. “How is she?” “I think the prognosis is positive. There’s no trace of any sort of foreign chemicals in her system, and we haven’t seen any transformations in the time we’ve been monitoring her,” Pinkie said. She had rehearsed the whole thing carefully, but the phrasing still felt odd to her. “Psychologically speaking, she will need some time.” “Of course.” Celestia leaned in again. “May I ask; what did you tell her?” “You know I can’t tell you that professor; patient confidentiality.” “Of course. But I was asking as a sister, not as a doctor.” Pinkie shook her head. “I Pinkie Promised I wouldn’t tell anyone else.” Pinkie glanced at a random book. Saying no to Celestia stung her. The concern in Celestia’s tone felt accusatory and blunt, especially since Celestia restrained her emotions so often. “I understand.” Celestia leaned back. “After everything that has happened, I imagine she would not want me to know.” “She’ll recover, eventually.” Celestia sighed. “Chemically, perhaps. I made certain the university gave her everything it could. Yet, chemicals are not my concern. I always say that harmonic medicine is there to treat what chemicals cannot. But this…” Celestia shook her head. “I’m sorry, I should not be burdening you with this. Thank you for checking in, Pinkie. I knew asking you was the correct decision. I knew you would have some insight into my sister.” “I suppose I did,” Pinkie said. “Please make sure nopony disturbs her, unless absolutely necessary.” She picked up her teacup again. “The constables and university staff are preoccupied with an…unrelated incident. I expect Luna will have time to recover before they hound her.” “Right.” “Did you have any recomendations about her treatment?” Celestia asked. “You’ve spent the most time with her, since she was admitted.” “I think she needs some more time with other ponies. She…needs a better sense of herself. Sometimes spending a lot of time alone in your own brain can ruin your perspective.” Celestia nodded. “I’ll see if Twilight is free once a week, then. I imagine the two of them would get along well enough.” She took another sip of tea. “Was there anything else?” “Who is that picture of?” Pinkie asked, gesturing at the lone photo on Celestia’s desk. She had just realized that she had never seen the other side of it. Celestia smiled. She turned the picture around. It had faded somewhat, but the subjects stared back clearly. Celestia and Luna stood together. Two framed diplomas were visible on the wall behind them. “Luna never enjoyed posing for pictures. I had to convince her that two sisters, each with their own doctorate, warranted a few minutes to take a photo.” Pinkie nodded. “I imagine this was even more upsetting for you. Having something like your sister walk in and threaten you.” Celestia pursed her lips. “I suppose it was.” “Don’t worry, Doctor. I’m sure that once this is all over, you two will be closer than ever.” Celestia nodded. “Thank you, Pinkie.” Pinkie stood up. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get to my rounds.” Celestia nodded again. “Of course. I will speak more with you later.” Pinkie left. Once the office door had clicked shut, she paused. Something felt wrong. She turned back to the door, pressed her ear against it. The faintest sound of crying wafted through. Pinkie jerked back. It felt like a piece of information she shouldn’t have. Would it comfort Luna? Or would it make her feel worse? Should she go back in and talk to Celestia? Pinkie put a hoof up to her mouth. An honorary Pinkie Promise, then. She made a mental note. Something would be done, when the two of them were ready. They had warned her that adults didn’t solve problems the same way as children most of the time, but that was okay. Pinkie turned and began trotting down the hallway. They would recover. That was her job after all. To heal the body and mind, no matter what it took. “Wake up, Luna,” Nightmare Moon whispered. Luna froze, in motion and in temperature. “I must be dreaming.” “Oh, but you are,” Nightmare Moon smiled, and the white shine of her teeth poked out of the blackness. Her other features and parts remained invisible. “But why would that make it any less real?” “They said they expunged you. Destroyed you.” “Oh, Luna, how you wound me.” Nightmare Moon’s eyes joined her smile. Her features reminded Luna of blood on snow; stark and mismatched. “I’m a part of you. Why would I ever leave?” “You can’t be here. They said you were gone.” “How could a few bits of magic remove a fundamental part of you? They might have hidden me, buried me, but they could never separate us.” Luna turned away. Nightmare Moon’s eyes and mouth waited for her, in the same position and expression, no matter where she looked. “We belong to each other,” Nightmare Moon whispered. “I am the real you, all the hate and greed and desire that you can’t admit to yourself. And you are the cracking facade that everyone else sees. Two halves of one pony.” “Leave me be, monster!” Luna tried to make a threatening gesture, but her body remained still. Nightmare Moon’s mane joined her other features, starry and bright in the black void. “Just imagine what we could do for each other! I already helped you confess your feelings to Celestia, helped you tell off that clown trying to treat you. Just think about what we could accomplish if you set me free, if we worked as one. It would be gorgeous, exhilarating, euphoric!” The last word leaked out of Luna’s mouth. She clamped her mouth shut, shook her head violently. “No! Tempt me all you like, but you are not a part of me! You can not be!” Nightmare Moon leaned in. “Why? Because that pink clown said so? Because she claims Celestia thinks that?” Her nose and neck leaked out of the darkness. “Would it be so bad, for us to work together, as one perfect creature?” She draped a hoof over Luna’s shoulder, whispered in Luna’s ear. “I didn’t want to take control of you, really. I was just doing what you wanted, and you resisted so much. We could strike Celestia down, if we were of one mind.” Luna kicked backward, but her legs did not connect with anything. Nightmare Moon stood a few feet away, still smiling. “So violent,” Nightmare Moon whispered. “I understand, now. You are here as a test.” “I am here to help you understand the truth. You are nothing without me, and we are everything together.” “If you will come to tempt me every night, then so be it. I will be ready. I will not shy away from penance for my failure.” “You find me so torturous?” Nightmare Moon asked? “We felt differently, not long ago. The feel of another’s body on ours, the taste of their blood and the smell of their fear. You were there.” “It is only fitting,” Luna muttered. “My arrogance, my incautious measurements, my research, they let you take hold of me. If I must relive those memories, if I must confront you each night in my dreams, then it is only fair.” Nightmare Moon laughed. “And how long will that resolve last? How long before suppressing your true self breaks you apart?” Nightmare Moon’s face cracked, cuts spiderwebbing across her mane and nose and neck. “And how long before I pick up the pieces, and put you back together?” ~~Luna’s eyes snapped open. She jolted out of bed, the catheter stinging her foreleg and the starchy sheets constricting her chest.~~
7. Darkness There, And Nothing MoreLuna’s eyes snapped open. She jolted out of bed, the catheter stinging her foreleg and the starchy sheets constricting her chest. She glanced around. The Nightmare had seemed so real. Speaking to her, taunting her, telling her dastardly lies and vicious truths. “Doctor Luna!” Pinkie Pie put a hoof across Luna’s chest, forced her back down. “Thank goodness you woke up! The machines were getting readings of increased heart rate and cortisol production. I came in and you were thrashing in your sleep. Are you okay?” Luna wiped her forehead. Sweat glistened on her coat. She shifted, and felt the dampness of the blankets. “I...I am fine,” she lied. “It was just a bad dream.” Pinkie Pie pushed Luna back into the bed. “Stress is very bad for recovery. Do you need some sleep aids?” Luna shook her head. “No, thank you. I think it is just the recent events. I will adjust, eventually.” “Very well.” Pinkie Pie made some notes on her clipboard. “I’ll let you rest before breakfast, then. Call me or a nurse if anything comes up.” Luna nodded, and Pinkie Pie left. Luna leaned back against her pillows. Nopony needed to know. A Nightmare now and then was a small price to pay. She would adjust…eventually. Author's Note I can say, without doubt or facetious self-deprecation, that this story is not good. I originally wrote it because of a flash of inspiration from two particular songs, and perhaps a desire to write a non-parody crossover. The final product doesn't have many merits as a story, but perhaps it represents some lessons as a writer.
