Married...With pony

by mrmidnight

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Random, Slice of Life
Length: 3585

What happens when a man named Al bundy wakes up in the pony verse

After a long day of wanting to relax and not deal with the wife or kids he goes up to bed only to wake up in a cartoon world, and infront of a pink pony what happens next will he

Published 2015-08-24 00:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-27 13:39:05 UTC

Chapter 1

Chapter 1
Chicago 1999

It had been a long miserable day in the small town though it had no form of it on the people around who smiled enjoying what pleasures and joyness that could bring over. It had been miserable as it had always been for one man, A rather simple shoe-salesman, by the name- by the name of Al Bundy.

It was the average norm, he would wake up with his red haired demon he called a wife from a night of her nagging and demanding sex. The sounds of his Son who resided in the basement doing what god doesn't even want to know why. Than the sound of His little girl, Kelly his small baby, who had almost gotten married the other day to a tot. A Tot! He muttererd more but the fact is he wouldn't have allowed it after finding out he had been fooling around with other woman.

Though He wished somewhat he would have had one child out of the house at this time he wasn't getting any younger. Driving though his old beat up Dodge hearing the people around snickering and making fun of them sure let them do that. He would get back at them later. The shoesalesmen looked over seeing how nice the sun shined around everywhere, that was untill he looked seeing his home.

Over his house it was wasy to see the cloud of misery motioning over, they had never left after the children where born. He would never be rid of them. While he sighed more, and looked around. It looked like something would arive for the matters, He hadn't seen the local Chicken/ Feminist Marcy darcy. Laughing some, he knew of the chicken joke for the day when he ran into her. He would move getting out of the car, and motioned heading into the house.

As per tradition. the moment he moved into the house he closed it behind and closed the door and muttered;

"A fat woman, walking into the shoestore Today- A godzilla in size- So huge she is protected by green peace, asked for something in a size four for confort. So I said 'Try Wyoming.' "

He turned over looking to see that Peg his wife for what he could only describe of 10,000 years. ( In reality only 27 but it felt like it) Looked over to see that she was still in the bon-bon coma, while the shirling sounds of Opra be played on repeat.

"Good to see somethings never change."

Turning the show over to something else maybe a good western. Maybe Hondo, Oh he hoped Hondo was on. Though like all thing in Al Life, it wasn't so. The moment it changed, There was suddednly a man voice saying.

"It is now time for the wonderful world of My little pony."

"Oh great." Al muttered changing the channle.

"Again My little pony on Fox."

"Really i wonder what's next." Al sighed Soon flipping over the channles over and over hearing.

"My little pony, My little pony... My little horsie. My little Biguns... Right after four hours of my little pony!!!"

"I swear Im Heading to bed nothing ever good on good night Peg Also No Sex..!" He shut the television, and headed up the stares. The moment Al was up in bed Peg would arise, turning the television over again, it had been the same channle but right that at that time, there was a new show singing;

"Who that ridding in the sun. Who the man with the itchy gun!"

"Maybe next time Al maybe next time." She smirked motioning over at the time, and took a bite out of the chocolet candy.

Al motioned looking over at the mirror some.

"I swear I should just run off go to a land where there is no women only girls. I should never worry about the horrors of children and marriage... Nah." He muttered knowing even if he could get away with it he wouldn't the cruely god, or gods wouldn't make it so easy.

"Well lets see what fresh hell we get tomorrow. It can't be worse than today."

He sighed some and got into the Bed not knowing the set of events that would soon happen towards him. Grunting some, and motioning forwards for the seconds, wile he dreamed of beautiful girls, with big breasts, and desiring him, while in the small corner, the hear of a red headed woman was hanged on a plack, while he chuckled and smiled.

Grunting more, as he turned and moved with a woman laying by him her legs pushed in his back making him look uncomfurble, while he grunting more, holding back some, he would slowly begin glowing for no reason, vanishing from sight at the time going off to a land unknown to him.

"Gruuu 2 hooter, 4 hooters." He grunted more, as he suddenly was being shaked harder.

"Peg I don't want to fool around come on I had a long day."

"I'm not Peg Im pinkie." Suddenly his eyes opened looking over as he came face to face with what looked like a pink horse.

"Ahhhh." he screamed instantly moving back trying to get away he was sure it had been a nightmare for the seconds moving back for the second.

"Its a talking horse holy moly." Looking down for the seconds he realised he was in his normal daly atire..

The pink horse stared at him more before saying,

"I'm not a horse im a pony and my names Pinkie Pie nice to meet you are you hungry."

Al eyes shot up like dinner plates muttering.

"Y-yes, please pretty pony Al will love you so much if you do." As his stomach growled hard and loud like aways but with praise and happiness."

"Well come on we have a party, to get ready, and food we can meet all my friends." She jumped up and started humming a happy tune. Al followed knowing he would get to eat for the first time in 25 years.

Author's Note

Well here this is tell me what you think I know it not perfect but i do apologice

chapter 2

Chapter 2

They would soon begin walking Al and the pony named Pinkie;

“So when we get there what kind of food will there be if we can ask.” Looking down at his stomach for the moment as he listened to his stomach, while it growled louder.

“Oh yes there is so much wonderful and tasty treats, from small donuts to cakes and extra cheese pizza!” She smiled hopping more this only caused his stomach to growl more causing pinkie to turn looking over some,

“Boy your stomach growl I’ve never heard something like that beside when spike hasn’t eaten for a few day, when was the last time you ate?” She looked back at him for the few seconds while Al would only mutter.

“Well from the feeling of plank in my teeth, and the doctor saying my stomach is the size of a quarter and the last thing I had eaten was my wedding cake. So maybe 25 years. Give or take a few thousand.”

Looking back for the moment saying,

“Wait that’s impossible you’re not an alicorn, they are the only one who can live forever, unless your like Discord can you do anything neat.”

“Oh boy yes I can in fact back in my day I was a great and mighty athlete scored four touchdown in a single game.” He smiled for the moment stopping to make his own iconic pose changing into a high men form.

“Interesting you could talk to Rainbow dash, she could tell you all about her times racing, She the fastest flier in all of equestria, as she says.”
“Yeah, yeah But lets get going I want to eat.” He suddenly began running more, breathing heavy for the seconds, as Pinkie chased him;

“Wait up were almost to ponyVille.” For that moment he heard that he stopped looking over at The pink horse.

“What’s the name of this place?”

“It’s ponyville, the funniest, happiest place in the world. Where are you from?” Looking over some as he muttered something before looking up;

“The food has to be amazing, so what’s your plan big guy.” He muttered some pinkie looking over confused,

“Where almost in town look there sugar cube corners.”

He looked over for the moment seeing where the pink one had pointed out at this moment the second he saw the place realizing it was a giant gingerbread house in sight, when he looked over it he screamed.

“Whoa momma!” Running right at it knocking over two ponies walking side by side, one of them being a light green ponies with a harp on her rear, the other a yellowish one with candies on hers. The mint green looked back before muttering.

“Bon-Bon look I think that was a human a Human!!” Looking over for the moment. Giving a simple smile of giddy excitement.

“Lyra, You and your human fetish It’s just your imagination, now come on honey we need to go shoe shopping they have a new pair, I must have.” She smiled some only to cause Lyra to move her head down.

“Yes honey.” Looking down as they walked over though she knew at this moment she would be walking over to find that human she must find hug and maybe get some of his Dna to get her own little human. They walked off to getting the accursed set of shoes.

Returning to Al for the moment, he got near the large house, he jumped over at one of the corners, when he did that he took a big bite only to come close to nothing but hard brick.

“ahhh son of a woman from wanker county, Who let this gingerbread house hard as rocks.” Looking over some he stilled tried to go over and nibble and taste the house still to no avail.

Pinkie looked over than and muttered,

“No silly you can’t eat that it’s a house, its made of brick it just looks like it to give that taste look over the foods inside.” Nodding some all looking disappointed, and motioned into the place.

There as they walked in he stared over for the moment wondering more seeing ponies moving around for the seconds, as they walked forwards Al had been giving looks by this second though what was new on the matter but the oddness of it seemed like there was no discuss, right there he walked to a table, when he did this he looked over and soon sat down, on there pinkie moved saying;

“What would you like there Al.” Pinkie muttered.

“Everything everything you have though I don’t have money on me.” He proved this at this second pulling out his pocket showing he had nothing at all. Suddenly an unknown laughing came out from no where no one knew where it came but Pinkie looked over in the distance to the unknown giving a small grin out.

“It’s ok, it’s on me just relax here.”

She jumped up running in the back as he sat there wondering more. When food came so much food nothing near never ending, right when it was placed down at the sight, when he saw this he jumped at it.

No as he began eating everyone in sugar cube corner watched as the human was eating all that laid before him going at it like that of a beast in the ever free forest sight of horror and nightmare as they began having a shocked expression, even pinkie looked with her eyes bulging out like nothing she had ever seen before. But as fast as they appeared the food even the plate vanished while he leaned back, licking his finger moaning with happiness.

“Wow That feels good I really need to eat more, But only if I can get my dragon of a wife to get off her big lazy butt to do anything and not eat bon-bon’s.”

It was for a moment some looked in shocked since really the only form of Bon-Bon they had known about was the simple pony and her mint friend who pretended to be just friend though it was more obvious that they were way more than that.

“So Whats next on the list you wanted to show me these friend or something and a party.”

“Oh Yes I apologies come on let’s get going.” Pinkie breaking out of her daze soon motioned over some as they headed out, when Al Passed the male owner of the place he looked seeing the dead, eyes on him the eyes of a married man, before muttering;

“We will talk latter my brother, in Married arms.” Before handing him a set of many shirts he held on that read out simply NO’ MA’AM.

Than they walked off for the timer heading off to the part unknown at least for al bundy that was.

Author's Note

Well heres another chapter tell what you think and thank you all the new fans i have you know how to make a guy feel welcome here with his odd first tale

chapter 3

“So where off to next Pinkie.” Al muttered looking over at the bouncing pony for the moment as they turned on wards making a quick left. There had been one thing that he had noticed out of all that had been here that seemed weirder to him than even the ideal spectrum that a world of talking horses seemed to rule here.
“Pinkie I got to ask, where are all the men here I’ve only seen one beside me maybe two.” Thinking back to the old Moe, from earlier at the corning, he had given a No ‘Ma’am shirt to (thought’s that don’t understand the name of No ‘Ma’am it stands for National organization of men against Amazonian master hood.)
“There’s not that many in equestrian the ration of Female is 2/10 At least what Twilight says.”
Al looked down over at her before muttering;
“An there’s another thing what is with these names Pinkie pie, Rainbow Dash, Twilight What am I in some kind of Stupid little girls story, or Cartoon.” Looking down some as Pinkie still remaining her innocent smile muttered; “Actually you’re in a Fimfiction but don’t tell anyone.” Giving him a small nudge in his shoulder giving a small laugh like it had been some kind of inside joke.
“Uh yeah sure I guess. Wait what the heck Is Fimfiction?” Which Pinkie would calmly explain.

“Friendship is magic fiction duh.” Al looked over some only giving a muttered chuckle.

“Please that’s not magic now Hooters now they are magical especially from pretty blonde woman.” He gave an AL’s laugh at this time before moving On Pinkie not muttering much at this point though it seemed someone in the background huffed but did nothing while moving on. Right before they headed close by they saw two small children, one with a light purple and tiara on her Butt while the other one a grey looking form and a silver spoon.

Al looked at them for a moment while they stood before them he went on saying.

“Neehuh.” As he said that and looked they seemed to turn wide eye screaming at the top of their lungs running away from the sight of him for the moments as if they had soon seen a creature, while Pinkie gradually walked over next to him muttering.

“Strange like they never saw somepony like you before.” Al simply ignoring the Somepony just muttered.

“Must be French Pony. The French are so easy to scare. When they can see a great and fine looking American.” He moved his shoudlers for the moment, as Pinkie said;

“That not very nice.” Looking for the second.

“Don’t care.” While giving a laugh moving on inside the large book. The moment he realized were he was he moved back;

“Oh dear god, Why do I have this feeling I’m going to see a crazy fat woman charging me money again.” Looking over some as he turned trying to escape.

“Oh Hello there are you looking for a book or something?” He heard a soft kind voice behind, he was almost afraid to look back at this time, before he did but right than he saw not a Fat woman, but a small purple horse staring at him for the time, as she seemed to be levitating a book.

‘By god they have magic Women of my world must never find this out!’

“I’m Al Bundy. The Al Bundy The Hero of Poke High and greatest man alive.” He muttered some trying to show off for the moment Not knowing why but he figure this was the only time he would get away without the horrible jokes of a show Salesman.

“Odd to me you look a bit like the Shoe sales pony from down the street rather rude really.” (XD)

“Never mind on that this strange pink horse Named Pinkie found me and sent me here Wait where is she.”

Suddenly out of Nowhere Pinkie arise out from absolutely.

“Hi Twilight I found this guy here from in front of the Ever free Forest he seems lost oh he’s also a human, and who are the French?”

“Pinkie where you in the Cakes sugar. Just hold on.” Looking over at Him again, she muttered.

“I’m sorry Mr. Boondy.” (was spelled wrong on purpose.)

“It’s Bundy…”

“Oh my apology, But As I said Pinkie can be overwhelmed though I have to ask why where you in the Ever free forest it is a rather terrible and dangerous place to be.”

“Sounds more like my bed on Sex night with Peg.” He gave a wholesome chuckle before giving a odd look from Twilight.

“That isn’t very nice and why would you say that about this Peg?”

“You never meet her trust me.” Before long he heard out the simple calling,

“Twilight I found that book you wanted the Cuckoos Calling I believe.” Walking in Al looked over some saying,

“Holly crap that is a big Gecko…”

“Hey I’m a dragon not a Gecko!” Al would only laugh and mutter;

“Sorry son but I’ve meet a dragon in fact I’m married to her you’re not as big or horrifying and that ever free forest you talk about I’ve looked into the horrors and deep recants of hell and back again only to mutter and say, ‘Marcy you chicken put on a damn shirt I would like to eat in the next millennium.’ So that place I hold no signs of fear. In fact I laugh at it.”

Right there Twilight looked only wonderessly and concern at the time, the same for Spike.

“What does this dragon look like?” He dared ask for the moment as al would motion over at this second and pulled out a picture and soon showing a red headed woman, staring at them with those ever nightmarish eyes.

“Um she doesn’t look so bad…” Spike muttered out some moving back somewhat afraid but just from how the eyes stared over into his very soul.

“Ok moving than maybe I should call Princess Celestia Maybe she could do something.”

“By god I wish I knew we were getting a girl from the nudie bar If I had I would have gotten Dollar bills Pinkie mind if I borrow those Bit things!”
Holding his hand out right than Twilight though looking over hearing that muttered.

"Um whats a nudie bar if I can ask?" Twilight mutered for all to only smile this time reaching to his back pocket with a blow whistle and began to mutter these words;

"Where the music stinks, and they water te drinks At the nudie bar.

Where the girlies dance in their underpants , at the nudie bar.

Where you see their buts, and trap stay shut, at the nudie bar

Where you can't touch a breast but you can cave in a chest at the nudie bar!!

Where you can look at a thigh, and blacken an eye... AT THE NUDIE BAR!!!"
He muttered smiling harder Pinkie laughing not realising what he was speaking. Though Spike only laughed and muttered, "Sounds nice wouldn't mind going."

But looking at Twilight she looked freaked and disgusted at the same time only muttering.

“WHAT! My great teacher and princess of our land would never do something as degrading as Dance for money.”

“Not true I saw a Celestia Dancing and boy where her Big uns so nice.” He muttered some Drool moving over at his side.

“Well she isn’t now moving on Maybe she could help us out on the matter, Just go on do something while I get work.” She muttered turning back looking for her Quill and paper.

“Weird she never that freaked out but sure come we can go meet Rarity She’s fun and not far.” Pinkie muttered running off while Al would go on following her off leaving the Library Spike at the moment was moving backed scared wondering what in the world just happened…

Author's Note

I thank those who enjoy and to those who down vote I do understand why but thank you for reading at the least tell what you like and don't please I would be greatfull