Discord's Magic Number

by bonamb

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1007

Discord feels like he needs a number. Why? Everybody else does!

Discord feels like he needs a number. Why? Everybody else does!

Published 2015-08-25 02:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-25 02:10:01 UTC

Discord's Number

I need a number

I mean, every other nigh immortal being representing the fundamental forces of the universe has one don’t they? I think it most unfair that I don’t. Despite your average being thinking that it is 4 because two plus two equals fish in conventional chaotic mathematics, well, depending on my wonderfully… stable preferences it often isn't. They look at me and say “Oh there goes Discord, that incredibly handsome roguish lord of chaos with his delightfully obvious number of fish!” Wrong in the EXTREME!

For I being the greatest and grandest and only lord of disharmony, discord, dissolution and dissing must not have a single character number that begins with F, for fish don’t fit my fabulously flamboyant style! Oooh, I should really have bought that scarf now I think of it. Pink sequins do suit me on occasion.

Perhaps I should take inspiration for my number from the delightfully self-styled pretty pony princesses. Celly herself the supreme horse queen of all seems to have the number of 1050 due to how long she likes to lock various threats away on average, and when they come back, due to her slight inability to make a stable prison. Even in Tartarus, for me’s sake! Hmm. Perhaps not. Considering that I was one of the wonderful denizens of her many detainment methods I should probably view that number as unlucky, and all others besides. How about her Lunatic of a sister? Being the perfect princess of ponisonifying evil, the moon, night-time activities and apparently symmetry it would make perfect sense that the supposedly lesser number of 69 would be her number of choice. Unfortunately that number wouldn't fit my beautiful personage, despite the fact that a certain handsome Draconequus can move his body perfectly into that particular shape. Of course that would apply to any dimension being myself, unfortunately going past the thirty first dimension generally turns your average mortal into a raving loony, which never fails to make me blush, for imitation is the greatest form of flattery.

Looking now at yet another pony princess, despite being inundated with the things these days, this particular one being a pastel pink for some odd reason seems to despise the number 3 and has claimed the number “2” as her own. Perhaps she doesn't like more than two being together, bit hypocritical for a princess of love to dislike polyamory relationships don’t you think? Although perhaps that may be because of a certain bug that… very nearly made it 3.

Moving onto the fourth princessy purple protagonist at the moment, who has chosen the opposite of her babysitter despite them happily shaking behinds in sync, is relying on statistics. According to her extremely exhaustive research as displayed by the 3 hour long lecture with blackboards, censuses, projectors, marker pens and for some odd reason a whip that she favoured my beautiful personage with. Or maybe that was me trying to whip up some form of protection from her ridiculously in-depth presentation and / or whip myself out of this world and away from sheer boredom. Which of course would not be referencing her display to be tedious in any way which would trigger her super science sense and she Would Find Me. As threatened earlier. Help.

According to her “scientific methods” the most common lucky number is 3, and therefore according to princess purple it must be statistically be the luckiest for it is the main number in the majority of this pony population and it hasn't adversely affected them, mostly. And being the scientific and magical and whatever prodigy of the supreme horse queen, she has mathematically deduced that 27 is thrice as lucky for 27 is apparently three cubed or 3x3x3 or whatever which is three threes when I thought it was 5 tables and a dancing hen. Waddyah know! End point being that 27 is the ultimate lucky number and all shall bow down to the future horse queen. Not suggesting that she has any plans at all to take over because being Dwilight Sprinkle she is of course the purest in all the land, aside from horse face herself.

Moving on, this particular number unfortunately does not tickle my fancy in the slightest, despite being almost corralled into it with a whip. Tis far too orderly and… ugh “mathematical” for my tastes. Chaotic mathematics is the only type of maths I shall use, despite it including that horrid M word for it occasionally comes out with food, and despite being a near omnipresent being who does not need sustenance, food is always good!

What?

Looking at my good friend and old role model, he of the 666 and high king of all things evil up to slight badness, the good lord Lucifer! He seems to have a pretty good handle on his number, it being so well known, that when he walks down the street ponies can exclaim that they know that he is obviously associated with 666. Well. That or running away from the greatest demon in existence and the fires of hellish fury that he spreads with every breath or whatnot. Personally I find that particular smell preferable to whatever prissy pony princess likes to flavour their tonsils with lavender. Ew. Fire and brimstone every day. According to his succinct narrative he chose his particular number because he likes triangles and alliteration or something. I don’t know, properly more maths. I suppose it is evil so it falls under his purview along with a very particular and evil “angelic bunny”.

I suppose I could base some of my number off his, unlike a few thousand years ago when I was FULL EVIL, but no more. In part I suppose it could be the flipped number image of 999, to irritate perfectionists everywhere and to show association with PURE EVIL. But perhaps not. That’s not me…. Anymore. How about, being chaos incarnate I could be truly chaotic and defy everybody’s expectations in doing something orderly, for once? Perhaps…

1000?