A Derpy Solution

by TarynTheGryphon

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 1997

What happens when Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie find a strange object, and all Pinkie can do is touch it? Only the worst...

When Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie are going on a short picnic, they find themselves exploring a part of the Everfree Forest that no one has ever touched in years. After enjoying some cupcakes that Mrs.Cake made special for this occasion, the two mares noticed something glowing in the trees. In a fit of giggly laughter and excitement, Pinkie Pie leaped for the rainbow colored glow, finding only a unusually shaped rock. The rock was rather round, but crudely shaped as if it came from the sky. Even with all of Dashie's attempts to stop Pinkie, She set the rock off, causing a burst of colors and confusion when they look into the water to see only a single pony!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-09 20:46:49 UTC

It's So PRETTY!

It was a warm summer morning in Ponyville, a perfect day for picnicking. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie had this planned out for weeks now and were all set for it. Rainbow brought the picnic cloth and Pinkie brought the food.

They only thing they hadn't decided on was WHERE to have this picnic. They started to think, but then decided they'd know the perfect spot when they got there. Hopping along, Pinkie's cart would sometimes open up, and give Dash a good whiff of the food Mrs.Cake had made for them.

The warm aroma of cupcakes, pies, and doughnuts drove her taste buds insane, causing her to drool slightly into Pinkie's hair. With a snort and a laugh, Pinkie looked up at her, the Mare's poofy hair bouncing as she reclined her head.

"Rainbow dash! you're drooling on me! Do I look that much like cotton candy? Oh my god! I forgot the cotton candy maker, But it's so heavy! How is this picnic going to-mmph!" The mare shouted, but was then muffled by Rainbow's hoof. "Pinkie... You're so random!" She said and laughed.

A few hours passed and noon had come along, their stomachs rumbling. Rainbow decided to walk instead of fly due to how difficult it was to fly on an empty stomach. Pinkie Pie continued hopping, but fell on her face once or twice to hold her belly.

"I think we should just set up here Pinkie. It might be next to The Everfree Forest, but it's as good a spot as any.", she huffed, setting the cloth down and unfolding it.

In agreement, Pinkie hopped away from the cart to help her friend get set up, then dove inside of the cart, throwing various dishes and baked goods onto their cloth. Strawberry cupcakes, moon pies, chocolate-covered doughnuts, cherry pie, and many other snacks were thrown out of the cart and landed perfectly onto the soft material.

"Is there anything to drink?", Rainbow asked, but before she could even move, Pinkie had sprung out of the cart with several bottles of juice, landing into one of the two cherry pies, causing Dashie to fall backwards in laughter.

Cleaning up a bit, they began to eat, often throwing a little bit of food at one another. Rainbow had tossed a doughnut at Pinkie, who with a smirk and eyes locked on, she took the last cherry pie and took aim, tossing it with Pinkie Precision.

Dash was unsure what to do so she covers herself with her wings, only to have the silly pink mare pop up infront of her, mouth wide open, getting the entire pie in her mouth. When Pinkie swallowed, they both laughed one more time, then noticed something strange... a very strange glow from the forest. "Do you see that Rainbow? It looks like magic! Is it magic?!Is it!?Is IT!?", Pinkie screamed as she shook her pegasus friend.

"Pinkie, stop shaking me! I have no idea what it is!", she said, her eyes spinning in circles from the shaking.

Before she knew it, Pinkie was already galloping towards the light, then lunged into the bush before Rainbow could reach her. Taking a look at what it was, She saw this strange rainbow colored rock, the colours swirling and changing about, every shade and hue in the universe glowing in one place. Then she saw her, the earth pony she was looking for, chewing on it and banging on it.

"PINKIE! Stop that! We don't even know what it is!", Scolded Rainbow Dash.

Before Rainbow Dash could remove her hyperactive friend off the strange thing, it began to glow with blinding light, throwing Pinkie on top of the blue pegasus, dazing them both for a minute or two. After coming to partially, they wandered over to a nearby pond full of lily pads and let out a gasping cry.

In their reflection was one VERY unusual pony.. It was a cotton candy colored pony, the body a mixture of pink and cyan. The mane was rainbow colored, with a very Puffy shape. One eye was a light blue, and the other a dark shade of pink. In confusion and fear, the pony looked itself over, spinning in circles. Wings with bright pink tipped feathers, a puffy tail much like the mane. Spreading the wings, the unusual 'pegasus' tried to fly, only to fall on their face.

A groaning chortle escaped her mouth.

"What's happening? Where's Pinkie Pie?", the pegasus wondered, then became stiff as a board when the pink earth pony's voice came from her mouth. "Here I am Rainbow! I don't know where you are though! OOOH! I have wings now! I can fly like you now!". The pony looked into the water again, and then let out a scream.

"Pinkie! I think You are me!" she exclaimed. Pinkie snorted and laughed, "That's so silly Dashie! How could I be you when you fly and I can't? But what if you're right and I really AM you! that would be so weird because I should've known all along but maybe I didn't because of being so busy at-", the mare was cut off by having her own hoof stuffed into her mouth. "Stop talking and hurry to twilight's! She'll know what to do!", Rainbow said, hoping Twilight truly did know what to do.

Twilight sat in her tree reading through books and enjoying a cup of apple mint tea, fighting a cold she had gotten recently. Applejack ran up to her to bring her some carrot soup rarity had made for her. "Thanks Applejack.", Twilight said through a cough. A.J. smiled and nodded her head, "Ain't no problem sugar-cube.".

Rarity came up and fluffed Twilight's pillow, then hurried out the door, as she had dresses to make for a high class client from Canterlot. A.J. sat downstairs by Owlowiscious and Spike, sorting books for their ill friend, only to have a large pile tumble onto them as a weird pony burst through the door, knocking them over from trying to fly.

"TWILIGHT! What's happening to everypony?!", Rainbow and Pinkie's voices said at the same time, coming from the pegasus looming over twilight. "Who ARE you?", Twilight asked, covering her mouth with the cover.

"It's us! Pinkie and Twilight!", said the pony again. "We went out of a picnic and then Pinkie saw this weird rainbow colored rock and wouldn't stop touching it!" "Then it glew really bright and blinded us and I became apart of Rainbow Dash and now we can't fly at all!" Pinkie's voice gasped.

"What in the world Is going on Twi?", Asked A.J, Pointing out the window at the ponies outside, all confused at what is going on. Twilight got out of bed to look, putting a mask on to keep from coughing on anyone. Earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi were all in mismatched combinations, just like what Spike had decided to call 'Rainbow Pie' in a fit of laughter, and a small handful of ponies still normal.

"Find every pony who isn't affected and get them together, and every pony affected together. This could be contagious or it could be nothing.", Twilight said, and immediately A.J ran outside and started guiding ponies together, keeping them nearby 1 another but separated into two groups.

Twilight stepped from her tree, seeing a few ponies in the group of unfortunates affected appearing to be alicorns, but unable to fly or use magic. Twilight started to write a letter, and handed it to Spike who sent it on it's way to who else but Celestia. "Everypony Remain calm", She said, "Everything will be fine as soon as Celestia arrives. Just try to go about your normal day and treat everyone as you did before.". As Twilight Sparkle headed back inside, Spike belched a letter into Twi's face, landing on his stomach.

"I hate this job..." Spike coughed. Twilight read the letter, nodding a little. "The Princess will be here in a few days, but she doesn't want to show her face? Why not?" Twilight tapped her hoof against her chin, slightly confused but went inside, curling back up in bed after finishing her carrot soup.

The next day's sun rose slowly, the warmth waking Twilight. As she stretched and hopped out of bed, she passed by Spike, letting him sleep. She could hear ponies in town talking excitedly, but couldn't make out what they were saying. She went outside with a cup of grape juice, seeing a large chariot that was covered by curtains, and could see Celestia's royal guard pulling it along.

A tall cloaked figure stepped out and walked to Twilight, beckoning her into her tree. The two walked in and royal guard stepped in front of the door, barring all from entering.

When Twilight lifted an eyebrow, a voice of kindness, very familiar to her made her smile, until the cloak came off... It was Princess Celestia, just... different. MUCH.DIFFERENT.

She had her long white mare frame, but, a single wing was blue and bat-like, one hoof was that of a lion's, and the other of a bird. Her tail went from her white appeal into scales, with spines that had her mane's coloration.

On her face was her slender look, but one eye was larger then the other by a small bit and yellow with a red pupil. Sticking out of her mouth was a large canine shaped tooth, and her horn was curly and gnarled. "Celestia! What's happened to you!?", Twilight cried out in horror, spewing grape juice onto the floor from her mouth, much like Rarity when she drank rainbow juice.

Celestia and Twilight sat and discussed how she doesn't even understand, nor has she heard of any magic, and then that slightly annoying, but seemingly friendly voice came. "If you are looking to blame me Twilight my friend, I can assure you that I'm a victim as well."

It said. Twilight's thoughts made her stiff as a board, knowing exactly who it was. "You and Discord are inside each other?!", she gasped, horrified by such an idea.

"Well it isn't exactly my fault! We were having some tea and then we got knocked into each other. Now we're the most beautiful pony in all of Equestria.", Discord's voice laughed.

Twilight got an idea and ran outside, being followed by Princess Discordia wrapped in her cloak. She spoke to all the ponies outside the tree, hoping they would all simmer down.

"I need several volunteers to help me figure out this problem!" She shouted, and smiled when A.J and Fluttershy stood beside her.

Two new Ponyville residents, Stitches and Hoofbeat stood in front of Twilight and bowed, then took their places by Applejack and Fluttershy... and then she came...

"Look out Beloooow!" Shouted a voice, with a very strong lisp. Before anyone could get out of the way, the pegasus crashed into the cloaked Pony, causing ponies to laugh and gasp in fear and awe at the disfigured pony.

"Oops, my bad!", said Derpy Hooves, pulling the cloak off her face, her silly wall-eyed stare looking around at every pony. "I'll come with!" she said, smiling. A.J face-hoofed herself, giving a reluctant nod to Twilight. "Okay..." Twilight Sparkle announced. "Let's get moving ponies. Rainbow Pie you come with too. You need to show us the rock."

"Got it!" the multicolored pegasus said, flying upside down. Smiling and crossing her front hooves, Derpy decided to join her, both flying upside down. "Ugh..." Twilight slapped a hoof to her face, rubbing it down her face.

Every pony in the group went their separate way to gather supplies they'd need, and to get jobs they needed to do done before meeting at the town square. Looking around, they noticed that everyone seemed to get along just fine even with the confusion about, but they set off anyways, heading towards the 'EVER SO PRETTY!' rock that Pinkie for some reason couldn't resist touching.