Crusader Chronicles.

AN:// Hello all you lovely readers. I haven’t kept track of how many views I got but the comments and likes are fantastic. Thank you all for the support. This is my first time posting my writings on this sight and I really appreciate all the positive feedback. Now, on to the topic that’s on everyone’s mind. Yes, this took me awhile. I’m a big procrastinator and I very sorry for it. That’s just how I am. Second, I am a musician first and foremost. Writing is just something I do for fun. If you’d like to see some of my music, head over to YouTube and look up themetalman3. There’s a link right here on my profile. And lastly, I am also going to go off to college in 2 years so my parents want me to check some out in California, Florida, and New York, so I’ve been flying back and forth. But, with all that out of the way, I finally found some free time to write the newest chapter of Crusader Chronicles. Hope you enjoy.

Snap, tuck, slam, spread. Snap, tuck, slam, spread.

Jester ran through the list of actions over and over again in his head. He had to perform each action correctly and in sequence; otherwise, he would experience disaster. But it was difficult, oh so difficult, to remember his directions along with his lines and perform both at the same time. It was the price to pay to be an actor wanting to perform his own stunts. What was he thinking?

The pony in front of him, one of the makeup mares, was applying a light powder to his cheek, when the director began shouting his commandments. “All right, places everyone,” he began. The pony was begging to head away from Jester, but just at that moment, he grabbed her hooves and politely told her, “Thanks.”

This caught her off guard somewhat. However, she took it in stride as Jester just being Jester. Many high profile celebrities acclaimed that Jester was possibly one of the most polite actors in all of equestrian. He was so very kind and so very gentle. There was even a rumor floating around that on his last film project, “The Mare with the Dragon Cutie Mark,” he paid one of the caters 200 dollars each day for just keeping the drinks cold.

“We don’t have all day,” the director continued. “This is the martini shot and if all goes well, we can place this episode in the can and call up shop on this season.” A few ponies and stallions from around the set shouted in approval. Even Jester gave a short fist pump in appreciation.

“Now Jester,” the director directed. “Do you remember your stunt instructions?”

A small sweat broke out on his brow and he twiddled his hooves for a while. He was fearful that he wouldn’t perform his duties correctly and that he would seriously injure himself. Nevertheless, he replied with dignity, “Yes.”

“Good,” the director replied. Then he took out the megaphone and began calling out cues. “Ok, lights, you ready?” the key grips and lighting technicians responded fervently with a ‘yes.’ “Hank, you ready?” The actor Hank Strong responded off from a distance with a shout, “Yes sir.” “Ok,” The director stated with a mixture of nervousness and excitement. Then, with a wide grin, he proclaimed with swagger, “Lights, Camera, ACTION!”

And the scene began.

Jester sank into the skin of his character, Stonerguy. As his character, he looked out the door of his house at the other actor Hank Strong (playing his character; Officer Leroy), and noticed him walking towards him with a powerful, menacing glare. Jester began waving his hands back and forth, and with a voice shaky with trepidation, he stated, “hey, you got nothing on me, ok.”

Officer Leroy kept approaching.

Stonerguy, with a fearful stare, kept saying, “Listen now, you’ve got nothing on me so you can’t just barge in here and harass me, ok?” Jester was thinking nervously, ‘ok, I hope I’m saying the lines correctly. He’s getting closer. Ok, remember. Snap tuck slam spread. That’s right…..i think. Oh no. Wait? When am I supposed to snap? Am I going to do it too early?’

Meanwhile, Officer Leroy kept approaching, until he reached the doorstep of Stonerguy’s house. He raised his hoof forward and landed a vicious blow against Jester/Stonerguy’s face.

This caused Hank to completely loose character and gasp loudly as he immediately pulled back his hoof after feeling it strike Jester’s face. The impact was wild and critical. It felt squishy and terrible in Hank’s hoof. Jester, in the midst of panic, completely forgot to snap his head back and thus the fake punch turned out defiantly to become a real punch. Jester’s body began to tilt back without his control, as gravity played its gruesome game. He clutched his now bleeding snout in agony and the back of his head collided violently with the wooden floor of the set below him. Everyone on the set groaned in dismay and a couple of mares were shocked beyond all compare.

However, there was one mare that wasn’t so surprised.

She galloped towards Jester quickly to aid him back on his feet. While she actually did care for the stallion, she still sighed in disappointment as she assisted him back to his hooves. Jester’s nose was still bleeding as she patted him jokingly on the back. Then, without reserve, she exclaimed her next words in a very angry tone.

“What did I just say like three seconds ago?!?” Scootaloo asked Jester angrily.

“Snap….tuck…slam…spread…” Jester replied with a squeaky tone as he still clutched his continuously bleeding nose.

“You certainly got the slamming part down correctly,” Scootaloo told him with a sardonic sigh. “Guess what you forgot to do?”

“…..snap,” Jester answered.

“Exactly,” Scootaloo replied. “If you would have remembered to snap you neck back when Hank reached his mark, you could’ve avoided your injury and that is why I am your stunt coordinator, so you don’t end up breaking your snout.”

The director, who had cut the filming immediately after Hank gasped and was now approaching Jester and Scootaloo with a curious look, asked “So it is broken?”

“Of Course it’s broken,” Scootaloo replied as she pointed towards Jester with her other hoof dramatically. “Why else would it be gushing blood like a freshly tapped well?”

Jester felt terrible, not just physically but emotionally as well. With a hitch in his voice and a small tear in his eye, Jester asked, “I am….so…..so sorry. Did I ruin the tapping?”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes in a gloriously overwhelming fashion. Typical actors, she thought. They got so worked up about one stupid little scene. Bunch of wussies.

“No, No,” the director reassured Jester. “Nothing’s ruined. We will have to slightly edit the scene with some earlier cuts we used with the stunt double, but other than that, I think we’re good.” Then, turning his head towards the entire production crew, the director shouted with a joyous scream, “Ok everybody. That was the last shot of the day and it’s also officially the last shot of the season. I’ll see you’ll around next summer if the show gets renewed. Other than that, great work. THAT’S A WRAP!! CONGRADULATIONS EVERYPONY!!!!”

Everyone on the set cheered. Many embraced each other and some of the makeup mares cried tears of joy. It had been a wonderful season of ups, downs, highs, lows, but all in all, it was just a fantastic season of shooting. Many agreed that this had to have been the best season yet. And knowing the writers, if the show got renewed, it was only going to get better. Addresses were being passed around so that each pony could send letters to each other. Many ponies promised each other to have lunch sometime in the near future. In other words, the typical after-party was being planned and production was officially done. It was over. It was now time, to celebrate.

Unfortunately for Scootaloo, there was no time for celebration. Scootaloo was constantly being shoved back and forth between various sets of various different movies and TV shows as a stunt coordinator that there was no time for her even to catch her breath. The only exceptions were her sleep at night and her weekends off. Other than that, she was a classic working stiff.

But working stiffs usually don’t help other ponies by showing the proper technique of how to break and fall out of a window several stories up.

This made her smile. She would admit. From time to time, she found that working constantly made her stressed out. But in these moments, she would look at her cutie mark, and look at her choice of career, and just start laughing. It was the best job in the world, in her opinion, and if she was to be overworked, then so be it. At least it was an entertaining and highly amusing job. If she was going to be stressed out about any job, then let it be the job she’d love to have. There were many things to like about it. The constant action, meeting famous celebrities; just the initial concept of a stunt coordinator was awesome. It made dinner parties a lot more fun. So what do you do Scootaloo? Well, I’m a stunt coordinator. What does that mean? Oh, I teach actors and stunt double how to jump through a ring of fire while on a motorcycle as hysterical demon bloodhounds which will be digitally added chase them.

She admitted this to herself every day. Sometimes her job was a chore, as self evident by her having to drag Jester along to the medical aid station to get his nose treated. She found it highly annoying. And on top of that, from there, she would usually have to attend another production of a completely different show or movie. However, today she was to go from here to her utilitarian hovel and wait for Apple Bloom to pick her up for SweetieBell’s concert. And that was worst. While she anxiously waited for the concert with excitement, she felt fear for having to sit at home for a few minutes with nothing to do. She would be alone. Being alone was not good. She was never good at being alone. Being alone allowed her more time to think and dwell on bad things. She didn’t use to be alone. She had several colt-friends from the past that lived with her. But just like all the other colt-friends, her most recent one did not work out and by being alone she dwelled on her past lover more and more. It was not a good thing at all.

So yes, her job was a chore, but it was also uplifting and fun all the time, and since the beginning of time, she knew she was going to be pony who would live life on the edge. She would be a pony who would experience life at a 125 miles per hour with nothing holding her back or slowing her down. She lived for excitement. She breathed danger. Death never scared her and her biggest priorities were to go bigger and faster with each stunt she’d perform. She wanted to be a professional dare-devil at first. But that never paid the bills. This job was fun, and put food on the table, so it was a perfect match. However, she never would’ve had this job in the first place, had she not received her cutie mark and realized what her purpose in life was, and who she was to be.

While she guided Jester towards the medical aid station, she smiled in remembrance of that special day. It felt to her like it only happened so recently. It was just like it happed yesterday.

She took that same road to school every morning. It’s striking image and features always astounded her. It was a long, wide road in which one could gallop as fast as they could without repercussions. It would forever engrave itself into her DNA. She sometimes would dream about the road, with its wide bearing oak trees on either sides and with the school in full sight just at the end of it. She always sprinted towards school when taking this road. Why wouldn’t she? This road allowed her to be free. It also allowed her interesting opportunities.

For instance, the road allowed her to sling-shot herself on her scooter at a completely insane speed. Why? Why would she want to take such an opportunity?

Because……..she was bored.

And, there was nothing better to do on that day of school, and it was near the end of the last semester, and she really didn’t care if she was late to school or not in the first place. There were millions of excuses to grab on to. And when she thought about them, it only made her smile more. On that day, she had finally finished the slingshot. She tweaked it to perfection and adjusted the height and width just right so she and her scooter could fit perfectly. All that had to happen was for her to be pulled back and then released. Upon release, she would officially break the land speed record. Rainbow Dash would be so proud.

And speaking of Rainbow Dash, who better to launch her and witness her greatest and most triumphant act ever.

“You want me to what?” Rainbow Dash asked with a very curious and bewildering look in her eyes as she stared back at Scootaloo. She had officially lowered the cloud she was resting upon when she heard the words, “Slingshot,” and “launch me,” together in a sentence.

Scootaloo only looked back up at her idol with a beaming smile and all the happiness in the world. She was giddy with excitement. “I want you to launch me from my Slingshot,” she told Rainbow Dash with absolutely no shame, or embarrassment whatsoever. It came out of her mouth as though it was a business talk.

Rainbow Dash cackled, but she did so more out of incomprehension rather than humor. Still low to the ground, she flipped around on her cloud and began to rest her head. “Sorry kid. I can’t help ya,” she announced. Then, not really paying attention to what she was saying, she proclaimed, “Sounds rather dangerous.”

It was though a nuclear bomb exploded within Scootaloo’s brain and her entire conception of Rainbow Dash had been shattered. “But….b-b-but-but,” and then, she lost it. “YOU’RE RAINBOW DASH! YOU LIVE FOR DANGER! NOTHING SCARES YOU! YOU’RE LIKE THE BRAVEST PEGASUS IN EQUESTRIA!”

Rainbow turned around with a smug grin on her face. “Well of course,” she agreed. “But I’m also not stupid. A stunt like that could kill ya. Only a true master like me could ever pull off such a feat.”

It was at that moment that a truly nasty thought entered Scootaloo’s brain. Had this thought not have arrived, Scootaloo would have probably went to school with dismayed eyes and shattered hopes and would have received her cutie mark a lot later in years. It was a thought that truly changed everything. And it made Scootaloo smile a wicked grin.

“You’re right,” Scootaloo admitted to Rainbow Dash, who was just about to fall asleep…..

….Until she heard this.

“I’ll have to work on my skills so I can become a master myself and then pull off such a feat,” Scootaloo preformed. “One day, I hope to be better than you.”

Rainbow Dash’s eyes shot right open. An audible SNAP was heard in her head. This wasn’t going to stand. “Uh….excuse me?”

“You heard me,” Scootaloo replied with a menacing glare and an evil grin.

Rainbow Dash turned around once more to face the evil pony. “So, you think you can be better than me?”

“Well,” Scootaloo began to mockingly check her hooves with a blasé look in her eyes. “I don’t want to brag but…..I think I might be better than you already.”

“NO WAY!” Rainbow Dash announced, fully knowing that Scootaloo was egging her on.

“Oh no,” Scootaloo returned the tangent with a monotone voice, “Really, I am. And I can prove it to ya.”

“Fine, Prove it,” Rainbow Dash retorted.

Scootaloo pointed towards her slingshot which she dragged with her towards Rainbow Dash, hoping that she would immediately agree when upon hearing her idea. Thank Celestia that she brought it out with her, otherwise, it would’ve been a long and tedious task to bring the slingshot back to the road from her home. She looked at the slingshot for quite some time, and then looked back at the angry Rainbow Dash.

“You launch me off that slingshot,” Scootaloo told her, “And I’ll prove it to ya.”

Rainbow Dash was skeptical, as anypony should’ve been. She knew this was a set up. All those proclamations about how she might’ve been a better…..whatever than Rainbow Dash were lies. She was just pushing her into this position right now. She had to submit to the idea or face the humiliation of punking out in front of the president of the Rainbow Dash Fan Club. It was all a sham, all a lie, and Rainbow Dash knew better than to fling a pony off into such breakneck speeds. But at the same time, she was making accusations that could not stand as they were. Rainbow Dash, was being challenged, and being Rainbow Dash meant never turning down a challenge.

“Fine,” Rainbow Dash huffed out with a defeated and angered tone. As she went to set up the Slingshot, Scootaloo could only smile even more deviously at how her plan was actually coming to light. She laughed audibly, when a thought about Rainbow Dash entered her brain. ‘Hook, line, and sinker.’

Approximately three minutes later, Scootaloo hoped onto her scooter and got into her position. Rainbow Dash gripped her and the band tightly and pulled them back as far as the elasticity of the band when allow them. When she could no longer pull without breaking anything, she looked at Scootaloo and laughed at the determination on the little pony’s face. She literally thought she could do this. It was sure going to be fun to watch. And knowing Scootaloo, such a feat wasn’t out of the question.

“Here we go,” Rainbow Dash announced playfully into Scootaloo’s ears.

And she was off.

And quite literally, or at least in Rainbow Dash’s eyes, she was gone. The speed at which she was launched was tremendous. In no less than three seconds time, the pony flew so fast on her scooter, that she became nothing more than a dot in the distance with a comparable size of an ant. Rainbow Dash floated by the slingshot for a long time, just staring at the speedster with a slack jaw of awe, then she decided to fly and catch up with the little dare devil, and see how she was progressing.

The wind in her mane, against her skin, it was exhilarating. The speed she felt caused endorphins to buzz wildly and caused her to experience a high she could never experience before. It was as if something like heaven dawned within her brain. She could never feel this good again. This moment in her life was monumental.

And in just a few moments, it became historical and significant in Scootaloo’s life, forever.

In the midst of her yelling and screaming of joy and admiration at the way she could feel her body work it’s was to the rear of her scooter due to the sheer wind power, she then felt a strange tingly sensation in her side. It wasn’t a bad feeling, nor a good feeling, just a feeling. She also noticed out the corner of her eyes, bright lights beginning to emerge from her left. She began to search out the source of the lights, only to find that there were admitting from her blank flank.

She began to smile greatly with an open mouth of excitement. She wasn’t about to be a blank flank no more. Years of witnessing other ponies receive their cutie marks, she knew the moment when one was about to appear. And by sweet Princess Celestia, it was about to happen to her.

When the lights cleared, she got her first real glimpse at it. It was a scooter jumping through a ring of fire. It was supremely cool and Scootaloo knew that it possessed a certain amount of swag to it. She began to cry tears of joy. It happened. It finally happened. Years of torment, years of questioning herself and who she really was, years of self doubt and humiliation, now wiped away in one simple appearance. Her cutie mark was hers and hers forever.

At that moment, Scootaloo turned to see Rainbow Dash had finally caught up to her. She flew very fast just to stay at an equal pace with the speed demon, and noticed her flank. “Hey, nice cutie mark.”

Scootaloo could never officially remember, to this day, the feeling of impacting the tree branch at that exact moment. The collision was actually so abrupt and so powerful that quite literally, memories were lost. It took her years to remember actually being launched from the sling shot, and when she awoke in her hospital bed, she literally screamed when she saw how she was no longer a blank flank.

She did however, had one moment of clarity that always made her laugh when looking back. She remembered walking into the emergency room with Rainbow Dash by her side, assisting her in any way she could. She remembered holding a bloody rag to her eye quite literally holding it in place making sure it didn’t pop out of her skull while the rest of the rag soaked up blood. She remembered looking right into the amazed Nurse Betty’s eyes, and shouting with a superior and self-righteous, borderline boastful tone while she propped up her flank on the counter, “HAS ANYPONY EVER SEEN A CUITE MARK THIS BUCKING AWESOME BEFORE!!!!!”

Meanwhile, Apple Bloom waited outside the door of Diamond Tiara’s place. She felt completely nervous and out of place. ‘Why am I even here?’ she thought to herself in dismay. ‘This is stupid, oh so bucking stupid. What am I going to gain out of this? A new friend? Could Diamond Tiara and I ever be friends? After what she put me through? She seemed so different at that art exhibit yesterday. She was like a changed pony. That couldn’t have been real. I lost sleep because of that bucking moment. What am I doing?’

Nevertheless, Apple Bloom realized that she had a choice to make, and an appointment to keep. It was an obligation to follow through with her plan. And so, in the words of her great beloved sister, Apple Bloom decided to ‘Nut up or shut,’ and knocked on the door.

It took awhile for the door to be answered, but when it was, something extraordinary happened. As assumed, Diamond Tiara answered the door. It was her home after all. It seemed rather…..simple. For a mare like Diamond Tiara, that meant something. Maybe the time in poverty after her father was thrown in Jail actually shaped her and formed her personally. She still was a mare with excellent class though, as demonstrated by the fact she wore an elegant suit when answering the door.

“Oh Hi!” Diamond Tiara squealed when seeing that Apple Bloom had arrived. And that’s when she pulled off the extraordinary move.

She reached out, and hugged Apple Bloom, in good will and in greetings.

Apple Bloom’s mind was officially blown. Was there anything this pony wasn’t going to do that would baffle her?

“So good to see you,” she exclaimed as she let go of the amazed Apple Bloom.

“Um….yeah,” Apple Bloom stated still feeling peculiar bizarre. “You too.”

“So,” Diamond Tiara announced as she set her fore hooves down. “Where’s our ride?”

“Oh, Um,” Apple Bloom exclaimed as she turned around to present her ride at the bottom of the steps leading up to Diamond Tiara’s house. “I usually take a cab everywhere I go.”

Diamond Tiara peered at the cab on the road, and felt strangely confused. “Really,” she asked honestly and with no disrespect whatsoever. “I thought you could take like a big carriage or something.”

Apple Bloom didn’t know how to take the comment. On one hoof, it might have been a spoken slap to the face. On the other hoof, it was Diamond Tiara and maybe she didn’t know better. She took it in stride and basically ignored the comment. “I can’t really afford anything fancy.”

Suddenly, Apple Bloom was amazed yet again by Diamond Tiara’s antics. She grew a smile, a strange smile, one that could make a selected few of ponies uncomfortable. She then spoke directly to the cab carriage pullers, and stated, “You’re free to go, your services are no longer needed.”

The two cab carriage pullers glanced at each other, shrugged their shoulders, and simply went off into the night.

Apple Bloom was stunned. She didn’t know what was going on or what the intentions were. Was Diamond Tiara trying to mess and harass her once more, or was it some bigger, deeper motive. When she turned her flabbergasted eyes towards Diamond Tiara’s mischief eyes, she fully realized what her intentions were. And they were good.

“Want to ride in style?” she asked.

She followed Diamond into her garage, and when the lights came on, her jaw hit the floor. Apple Bloom had never seen a machine quite like this one. It was long, sturdy, lean and wide. It was black and had four tires. It was quite obviously a carriage, except, there was no driver. In fact, there was no place to dock the pullers. There was nothing, except the strangely shaped carriage.

“What in tarnation is this thing?” She asked amazed, with her southern farmer roots beginning to unleash themselves.

As she walked down the steps slowly, eyeing her instrument, she exclaimed her words with pride and happiness. “This machine right here my friend,” she began, “Is the best thing money could buy. That’s why my house seems so normal. I’m using most of my bits for the payments for this baby.”

“What is it?” Applebloom asked once more.

“Feast your eyes on the first ever, Pony-less limousine,” Diamond Tiara declared.

Apple Bloom’s eyes began to water. It sounded so impossible, so untrue, and yet it was. She might’ve experienced poverty, but not for long. Diamond Tiara was now LOADED! “Seriously?!?” Apple Bloom screamed as her voiced cracked with excitement.

“Seriously,” Diamond Tiara replied with a smile growing wider and smugger by the second.

“How does it work?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Well, you have two pedals right up front,” Diamond explained. “One’s for go, one’s for no. and you press your peddles and turn a wheel and control your pony-less carriage. Sounds easy, I know. But trust me, they’re rather difficult to run. That’s why I have a special driver, who I’m going to pick up by the way, to take us to and from to concert. All we have to do,” Diamond continued her spiel as she went to the back and opened the door, “is sit back and have a great bucking time.” When she emerged from the door, and wine glass and a glass of alcohol was in her hand. “chardonnay?”

Scootaloo was waiting outside the door of the medical trailer, waiting for Jester to emerge. He was taking a long time and Scootaloo was growing rather impatient. It was only a broken snout. It wasn’t like he fell and shattered into a million pieces. But still, the minutes ticked by and literally nothing was happening. She didn’t want to go home, but she didn’t want to be bored either. Something had to happen.

Then, just ahead in the distance, Scootaloo noticed a shimmering light appearing closer and closer. She was intrigued by this and covered her forehead to get a better glimpse in the dusk-light at what was approaching. That was when she realized that it wasn’t one light, but two. And then she realized it was a carriage……..pulling itself.

“What the buck?” she stated in awe as she slowly walked out to meet it. It was a long carriage, and it reminded her of a limousine. But what shocked her the most, was still the fact that literally NOTHING was pulling it. Then, the vehicle stopped right when Scootaloo was by the back end. The window came down, and emerging from inside, was an old friend. And she was DRUNK!

“Need a lift,” Apple Bloom exclaimed with a blush on her face, obviously tipsy from whatever she was consuming.

Scootlaloo bellowed in excitement a loud howl, and came towards the window to give Apple Bloom a much needed bro-hoof. “DUDE,” Scootaloo hollered with enthusiasm. “YOU’RE RIDING IN STYLE MY FRIEND! OFFICAL SWAG TITLE IS HANDED TO YOU!”

Just then, at that moment, another pony appeared at the window. This one baffled Scootaloo for a moment. She recognized her, but didn’t. She knew the face, but not the name. it troubled her some and so she brought that fact up to light.

“Who are you?” she asked trying to sound polite.

The light pink pony held her hoof out the window asking for it to be shaken.

“Diamond Tiara at your service.”

Scootaloo’s mind was officially blown.

“Now,” Diamond Tiara asked as she looked at the faces of her two new friends. “Who’s up for a rock concert?”

is it wrong for a pony to drink? not for me. :P hope you enjoyed. one last chapter to go. please comment, watch, and share with others. points to anyone who caught what my username is refering to. peace and love, BillGoatHicks511.