EX-Cakes: we are the end and the start

by 5H4W_913_

Rating: mature
Tags: Tragedy, Dark, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 3412

this is a story about Shaw's experiences in the military group known as ex-cakes. from weak to strong he started with nothing and became part of the most elite force in modern Equestria.

this story is about Shaw, a gray pony with dark black hair. He has a cutie mark which is a snake made of fire. He is captured by the rainbow factory and forced to work on the upper level. Afterwords he escapes and saves the one he loves, rainbow dash but, that is short-lived for a reason I'll leave you to find out for yourself.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-29 14:00:01 UTC

I work if I don't die first

When I woke up I was on a conveyor belt going into a large crusher. At first I wondered "Why didn't they strap me down?".

Then the pony from before came up to a stand. "I don't think I introduced myself properly." she said. "My name is corrupt rainbow dash." she said. "Then again it wont matter unless you pass." she said for the third time.

After those words I snapped. I jumped off the conveyor belt and bit one of the workers on the head. His mask came off and he started to bleed to death out of his nose, eyes, mouth and ears. My fangs grew and I took his gun shooting everyone. Corrupt rainbow dash just stood there smiling.

"You have potential Shaw, you really do." she said. Then she walked out of the room. Tear gas started to spew out of holes in the wall when she walked away. I started coughing, my throat got so dry that it ripped and I coughed up blood and passed out for the THIRD time.

I woke up in an emergency room this time a nurse walked up to me and I was wearing a badge that said "rainbow factory co-manager".

I wanted to rip it off and burn it but, my eyes started glowing again. "I'm in." I said.

"What?" the nurse asked.

"I'M FUCKIN' IN!" I was starting to go insane.

"I-I think your uh... physical condition is... Okay but, I'm not sure about you're mental condition." she told me I should seek therapy.

"Are you fucking kidding?" i ask. "I FEEL GREAT!"

I jumped out of the bed and then a needle fell out of my neck and I yelled in pain. My throat was still scarred. I drank some water but, that didn't fix anything. "H-help" I could barely speak my throat was so dry. She put the needle back in my neck and my throat started feeling better. "Thank you" I said and I fell back asleep.

a work aXiddent

I woke up in the factory really damn tired. "Ugh what time is it?" I asked. I was 28 now thank Celestia ponies stop aging after 34. I looked over my hoove and saw one of the "tour guides" off duty. "The hell are you doin' up?" I asked.

"Look at your plot" he said.

"Okay?" I said. I noticed my hoove was in a warm cup of water and I found out I pissed myself. "WHAT THE FUCK MAN!?" I yelled.

"HA! You should see the look on your face!" he said. Then I saw he was filming with his phone.

"DUDE!!!"

I was starting too get mad and I looked in the mirror and wiped my mussel. It was covered in whipped cream. "COME THE FUCK ON!!!" I yelled. He laughed more which woke up Corrupt Rainbow Rash who was in a completely different room.

"What the hell is- HA! Look at yourself Shaw!" she said.

"REALLY!?!?" I said.

"Yo I'm filming this." the guide said.

"No way man!" she said. "Dude you have to post that shit." she said.

"Dash! try to act a bit professional!" I said.

"Oh right, worker I order you to post that on pone tube." she said.

"ARE YOU FUCKIN' KIDDING!?" I said. "Ugh j-just go to sleep." I said.

I grabbed my pants and changed. "I CAN FUCKIN' SMELL YOU!!!" I said. Then Dash started running away.

"We'll call it biggest junk in the world." she whispered. I could smell her hormones  thorough my Jacobson's organ.

"Ugh" I said before I fell asleep.

When I woke up the next day. I went into the torture chamber. I looked at the hostage who was another EX-Cakes soldier. Right before I stabbed her I realized it was the mare I saw while I was driving to the factory for the first time. By the way I gained permission to leave the factory after 6 years.

"Well what the hell are you waiting for STAB ME PLOT HOLE!" she yelled.

"I-I'm so sorry it had to be you" I said.

"Wait what do you-" but, then dash got cut off as through my tears I stabbed her in the hoove. She yelled in pain and my eyes turned a deeper green and glowed brighter than before.

"What the hell!?" she said.

After those words I started crying blood and having a seizure.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?!?!?" she yelled. suddenly my eyes turned dark black.

"I'm... sorry." I said, still crying blood. Corrupt Dash noticed and walked in the room.

"What the hell was that?" she said. "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU!?!?!?" she yelled. Dash wasn't able to speak. Neither was Corrupt Dash.

"Why was he so... berserk ?" asked Rainbow Dash. Then corrupt dash punched her in the face.

"What the hell did you do to him!?" asked corrupt rainbow.

"I DIDN'T DO SHIT TO HIM HE JUST STARTED CRYING AND THEN THAT HAPPENED!!!" she yelled.

An ambulance parked at the area and took me to the hospital.

"It's a mental problem" said the nurse.

"What the hell do you mean?" I asked. "I had a seizure and cried blood, it feels like a physical problem to me!" I said.

"True but, it was triggered by a strong emotion." she said. "You're the only person with the ability you do." she said. "Remember that" she said.

"Aside from that you were in a coma for about 2 months" she said.

"2 months?" I asked.

"Yep and it was enough time for us to design a pill that could stop that kind of stuff from happening." she said. "Its experimental so at first you wont need a prescription but, in a couple months I'll give you one." she said.

"What happened to Rainbow Dash?" I said.

"Our boss is fine." she said.

"I MEAN THE OTHER ONE!!!" I yelled.

"Oh she's on..." she stopped talking.

"You don't mean death row do you?" I asked. She sighed but, didn't say anything. "FUCK!!!" I yelled. Afterwords I ran out to the factory.

I will save your life

I ran into the factory and took the guard's type-95.

"Shaw what the fuck are you-" And then I shot him in the head. I shot corrupt rainbow dash in the leg and she yelled

"WHO THE FUCK SHOT ME!?!?" And then she saw me killing workers. "Why the hell is he doing this?" she asked.

"STOP USING LIVE ROUNDS USE THE TRANK DARTS!!!" she yelled. Then they dumped the bullets out of their magazines and put darts in them. I had training in free-running, a sport similar to parkour so the bullets didn't effect me much.

"HELP, HELP I'M PINNED DOWN!!!" yelled one of the elite soldiers.

When I got to the cell I shot the lock and opened the door.

"Remember me?" I asked.

" yeah Thanks for breaking me out but, I could to do it myself." she said.

"Yeah and I bet you would have done great against those guys in the trucks to." I said. then I shot the truck driver causing it to crash killing everyone in the vehicle.

"Fine you fuckin' win." she said. "Oh by the way my name's rainbow dash." she said as she picked up a deagle and shot someone.

"Wait then do you know corrupt rainbow dash?" I asked.

"She's my sister, my parents weren't very creative with names." she said.

"Kinda reminds me of my sister." I said.

"You had a piece of shit to?" she asked.

"No she just sorta lost it." I said.

"GET DOWN!!!" yelled Rainbow Dash as a rocket flew towards us.

"Holy shit they're packing heat today!" I said.

By the time we killed most of the hostiles. we where about to leave but I was shot 3 times in the leg. "GET OVER HERE BITCH!!!" yelled Corrupt Dash. "I gave you a second chance! does that mean nothing to you!?" she yelled. She limped over to me and grabbed my leg. I shot her in the ovaries but, she didn't stop dragging me.

"Catch!" yelled Dash. I caught a knife with bullet ant poison on it.

"I don't need this shit." I said.  I threw the knife away and bit corrupt dash on the leg and the flesh at least 1 foot away from the bite started to be eaten away until it was neutralized. Corrupt Dash yelled in pain and I limped out the door and collapsed into the car.

"We have a medic back at ex-cakes." she said. "I'll take you there" she said.

introduction to EX-Cakes

I was rolled to the medic I was relived until I found out who it was. "PINKIE!?!?" I yelled.

"I thought you were dead." she said.

"Yeah good to know you fuckin' care." I said.

"Wait you know each other?" asked dash.

"We're siblings." we said at the same time.

"I don't want her to put a hoove on me." I said. She took out the 9 mm bullets anyways.

"Shaw I didn't mean to hurt you." she said.

"I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SHOT IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU!!!" I yelled.

"I-I'm sorry I-" but, I cut her off.

"YOU'RE FUCKIN' SORRY!?!?" I yelled. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I WENT THROUGH!?!?" I yelled again.

"I WAS BEATEN TO A PULP AS A KID AND YOU STOOD AND WATCHED SMILING!" I yelled. I passed out which now that I think about it is getting repetitive.

I woke up with a cast on my leg as Pinkie was sitting at the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry, Shaw." she said through tears.

"I couldn't control myself..." she sobbed.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you" I said. "I was really pissed off and I lost control." I said. I grabbed some crutches and walked out of the room.

I walked up to Rainbow Dash. "Hey Dash." I said.

"I didn't know you two had such a grudge against each other." she said.

"No it's not like that we worked it out." I said. I noticed my skin stopped glowing. "That's strange." I said. "

What?" she asked. "Oh yeah the reason you're skin was blue was because you were under a spell." she said

"Wait what?" I asked.

"I said it was a spell" she told me.

"But, how? I don't know any unicorns or Alicorns" I said.

"She must've paid a unicorn to put that spell on you." she said.

"So I was under a spell?" I asked.

"Most likely" she said. "Hey I didn't catch your name" she said.

"Oh it's Shaw" I said. "Is that like short for Shawn or something?" she asked.

"Nope, just plain Shaw." I said.

"Well hi Shaw kind of weird to say this after I've known you for a couple days." she said.

"Wait I didn't think I was asleep for that long" I said.

"Yeah and me and you're sis were there the whole time." she said.

"Okay I'm fine with you there but, I find Pinkie being there disturbing." I said.

"Well she's an on-field medic, so get used to it." she said.

"Well Okay then but, since I can't go back to the factory I'm thinking about joining EX-Cakes." I said.

"You'll have to talk to Koroshia about that." she said.

"Alright then." I said.

I walked up to his office and tried to grab his attention. "Yo!" I said. he turned around and appeared to be a black and red zebra.

"Oh, hey you're the one who isn't a cruel bitch." he said.

"Yep I fucked up the factory pretty bad but, that ain't what I wanna talk to you about, I want a job" I said.

"I think I might be able to find a position for you, please sit." he said trying to sound professional. He closed the door and sat back down.

"I know about you're powers, you're a hybrid, if you learn to control that shit you'll be pretty helpful." he said.

"Well how the hell am I gonna control it?" I said.

"Training starts tomorrow." he said.

"THAT DOESN'T EXPLAIN SHIT!!!" I said. but, he just walked away

preparation

I trained every day trying to concentrate my abilities. All genetic staff couldn't explain how I gained the powers in the first place. I eventually got a steady pace and control which is strange because all Koroshia said was "training starts tomorrow" and walked away. He didn't really do shit at all.

I was playing call of cutie in my room until I heard someone knock on the door. I walked over and opened the door and saw a tall stallion in a white jacket, white pants, wearing a gold buckle and a red hat. he was completely white, I mean pale. He also had no face.

"hey I think you walked in the wrong room, creepy ass bitches belong over there." before I could close the door a white tentacle-like body part kept the door open.

"yeah thanks" he said. His voice was surprisingly calm.

"uh... Okay, want a red stallion?" I asked. he just walked in and sat down.

"I'm one of you're squad mates, retarded fuck." he said.

"wait what?" I said.

"I'm asking myself the same damn question." he said. I stood there and grabbed a can of Dr. pony and threw him another.

"well you interrupted me while I was playing free for all on call of cutie." I said.

"you play call of cutie?" he asked.

"you challengin' me?" I asked.

"oh hell yeah I am!" he said.

we started playing search and destroy on split screen for like 15 minutes and then an alarm went off. "what the fuck just happened?" I asked.

"it's a mission" said the guy I met. "oh by the way, my name's Red." he said.

"well let's fuckin do it!" I said. he through a heavy duffle bag at me and I fell over. "WHAT THE FUCK MAN!?!?" I yelled.

"that's you're gear, suit up." he said. I walked into Dash's room to call her out and I caught her while she was getting dressed. I was thinking

"that plot..." and I started walking out of the room slowly while drooling.

I pretended nothing happened and followed Red because I had no idea where I was going. We walked up to a large helicopter and I jumped on where I met the whole squad. I sat down and looked at my squad. And it was kind of a coincidence. my squad was made up of dash,  pinkie, red of course and a dog named lucky. At least that's what his collar said. "sup." said lucky.

"HOLY SHIT! HE CAN TALK!?!?" I yelled.

"surprises everyone." he said.

"yes, yes I can, got a fuckin' problem with that?" he said.

"uh... no, boy? dog? sir?" I said.

"JUST FUCKIN' CALL ME BY MY NAME!!!" he yelled.

"alright, lucky." I said as we were flying.

back stabbing the factory

We arrived at the factory at around 6:23. "It fuckin' took us hours to get here." Pinkie said as she pulled out a soda out of nowhere.

"how the hell did you get that?" I said.

"By breaking the fourth wall." she said. We landed in the main upper level and someone literally kicked me off the chopper while we were still 15 feet in the air. I rolled to break my fall and looked up. "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR!?!?" I yelled.

"How else was I gonna get you off!?" asked Lucky.

"Bitch." I said.

Everyone jumped off and the chopper and it flew away.

"He's coming back right?" I said.

"Nope it's up to us to get home." said Red.

"Well shit" I said.

"Don't be such a coward." said Dash. After she said that Corrupted Dash showed up with a double-barrel.

"You fuckin' traitor!" she said. "I LET YOU LIVE SHAW DOESN'T THAT MEAN SHIT TO YOU!?!?" she yelled.

"I shouldn't have been there bitch! and you know that!" I told her.

"That's fuckin' it. YOU'RE DEAD FUCKIN' MEAT YOU MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE YOUR SUCH A FUCKIN' BRAT!!!" she yelled.

"COME AT ME BITCH!!!" I yelled.

She threw her shotgun and I threw my AK-47.

"What the hell are you doing!?" Red said. Corrupt Dash pulled out a machete and I exposed my fangs.

"DIE YOU FUCKIN' CUNT!!!" we yelled at the same time. I bit her on the arm as hard as I could and she stabbed me in the stomach. I wouldn't let go and she didn't pull out the blade even though she was bleeding through every hole in her body and I had my bones shattered.

"This has gone to far." said Red. He pulled out a 9 mm and aimed it at our hooves.

"DON'T FUCKIN' SHOOT HIM!!!" yelled pinkie

"I know how to deal with this." she said. She walked up to me and ripped me off of Corrupt dash, ripping her jacket and flesh. We both fell and I attempted to at least punch her. but, I couldn't reach her or get up.

My eyes started glowing again and blood came out of them too. "He's not stable we need and anti-depressant!" said Red. They stabbed me with a syringe and I started shaking uncontrollably Corrupt Dash shot red in the leg and walked up to me.

"Heh you assholes just cant keep you're mussel shut. CAN YOU BITCH!?!?" she yelled. The last 3 "survivors" tried to help but, got shot in the stomach, leg, and hoove.

"You are such a fucking cunt. I'll make sure you never see the light of day again." she said. She stabbed me in the stomach and dragged me away. Red shot her twice but, she still dragged me away to where ever I was going.

the day my life fell apart

I woke up one morning at about 3:36 by a loud bump. It sounded like a crack mixed with a sort of squishing sound.

I walked down stairs and saw a trail of blood. I was 10 at the time so I was mainly curious about what happened more than scared. I assumed it was another prank pinkie was pulling on me.

When I opened the door I saw my brothers skull was crushed and pinkie was gone.

I was terrified knowing everyone I loved, everyone I cared about was gone without ever coming back.

I saw a scalpel I aimed it at my wrist and before I could cut it I heard a voice.

"Don't be scared I'm here." I looked behind my back and before I could say a word Pinkie stabbed morphine into my neck and I passed out.

I woke up with my hooves tied together and I was in Clouds Dale. I was wondering how this was possible. I thought to myself "shouldn't I be falling by now?".

My skin was glowing blue which was weird because my skin is gray. My eyes started glowing green again. That's when pinkie found out I was awake.

"I assumed that would last longer." she said.

"Why the hell are we-" I was cut off when I saw a blue Pegusus with a rainbow mane.

"Who's that?" I asked.

"How am I supposed to know?" said Pinkie.

When we stopped the car pinkie threw me out of the car and kicked my head, knowcking me out.

I woke up again and I saw an older looking pony like the one I saw racing. She looked about 24 wearing a black leather suit and there were guards wearing white jackets, orange pants and white masks they looked normal except the eye holes and mouth hole was glowing blue, similar to the masks in borderlands. "So this is Shaw?" she said. When I woke up I said

"Hell yeah I am bitch!".

"You did say he liked to piss people off." Then she punched me right in the stomach and I vomited blood. "You shitty brat!" she called me. I fell on the ground yelling in pain. "Not as great as you thought the factory would be, is it?" she asked me that in a very mad tone.

"IS IT YOU PIECE OF SHIT!?" I was in tears.

"Why is this happening to me?" I asked. "I DIDN'T DO SHIT TO YOU!!!" after yelling as loud as I did I passed out from exaustion