Family in Equestria

I simply sighed at Kevin, not wanting to start a fight in front of mum and dad. No matter how much he aggravated me, we are in The Everfree, lost and have just been attacked by a timberwolf, not exactly the plans I had for my Friday afternoon.

“my two boys killed a demon,” my mum said in awe, “I assume we will wake up from this trance the demon put on us and be back in our house,”

“listen mum, I know where we are,” I tried to say but she cut me of at know,

“We will return home, won't we?”

“Well, whatever science brought us here, it must be incredible. We appear to have teleported!” Dad said excitedly, “we could be anywhere! We are the first humans to ever have teleported, this is historic!”

“Dad, shut up,” Kevin said, pissed off.

“Don't you speak to your father like that! Whatever has happened, I suggest we all pray for Father God to save us,” mum said,

“I suggest we get the fuck out of this forest. Goddamnit, this is all your fault Jonah,”

“How the hell is this my fault?” I cried out,

“It's always you, it's beginning to get as cliché as it always being the butler!” He said,

“It was never Alfred!” I argued, referencing Batman,

“Are you trying to start a fight?” Kevin asked me incredulous,

“You started it when you first started bullying me!” I cried out.

I saw red, I was so angry with Kevin, I forgot how strong he was, I forgot he could snap me like a twig if he wanted to. I charged him, hands bundled up into fists and swung a wild right hook. He ducked and delivered a hard punch to my stomach, causing me to double over. When I did, he followed through with a vicious uppercut which snapped my head back. I reckon if it was any harder it would have killed me there and then. Maybe he should have killed me, it would have saved a lot of trouble later on.

I fell to the floor and groaned in pain.

“Are we done yet fag?” Kevin asked,

“Not by a long way,” I declared and stood back up, ignoring the aching pain in my stomach. We circled each other, I was judging where he was weakest, Kevin was probably just doing it to humour me. I knew he relied on his right arm more then his left, so I formulated a half arsed plan: Fake a right lunge, deliver kick to his side, discombobulate, push over.

My plan half worked, I managed to kick him, but when I went for the discombobulate, he grabbed me left arm and twisted it round my back. I head butted him and we both stumbled away from each other. Kevin cursed. I grumbled.

“STOP FIGHTING!” My dad roared at us.

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TWILIGHT SPARKLE POV

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I trotted along to Zecora’s, wary of timberwolves as Fluttershy told me this is now their mating season. I smelled smoke, but thought nothing of it as I started to near a particularly bad patch of poison joke, which I carefully avoided. I could here scuffles from the forest to my right, beyond the poison joke, but I assumed it to just be timberwolves until somepony cried out,

“STOP FIGHTING!”

That didn't sound like anyone from Ponyville.

I couldn't walk through the poison joke, and Zecora's can wait, these ponies could be in trouble and who better fit to help the the Element of Magic herself?

The sound the ponies were making got louder, didn't they realise that they would be attracting a ton of timberwolves?

I entered a small clearing where I estimated the sound was coming from and said,

“Hello, I’m Twilight Sparkle, who ar-“

I didn't finish that sentence.

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JONAH POV

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My head ached, mum was crying.

“Nice job shithead, you made mum cry,” Kevin said. I resisted the urge to punch him again.

“Oh, so now it's all my fault once again,” I retorted. He just looked away and his mouth formed a O shape as he looked behind me,

“Hello, I’m Twilight Sparkle, who ar-“ said Twilight, who just so happened to conveniently show up and appear here just as we had finished fighting.

“It's one of the four apocalypse horses!” My mother cried out and started praying,

“Dear Lord Jesus, I acknowledge that you lied down your life upon the cross for me and took the burden of all my sin and on the third day you rose again, I rebuke this demon in the name of God almighty, BEGONE!”

Kevin chose that time to say,

“Oh my bejesus, its one of your gay little pony freaks!” Kevin said, finding this whole situation hysterical. That was, until Twilight’s magic lit up and lifted Kevin and held him against a tree. Poor Kevin, he wasn't used to things he couldn't punch.

And of course, at the sight of magic, my dad’s jaw dropped and said,

“This is amazing, this breaks all the laws of physics! This should be impossible! How are you doing that, strange horse creature? You must let me study you!” Twilight’s eyes widened at a fellow scientist and my mum had gone into shock. That just left her me to confront next.

She didn't even bother to listen to me, she just simply fired her magic at me and I passed out, feeling a burn where the magic hit me.

,.,.,

LOCATION: CELESTIAL PALACE, CANTERLOT.

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I awoke in handcuffs in a carriage, which in my opinion was uncalled for, considering I did nothing to any pony here. I was in a cage, Kevin in another, and my mum and dad further along. I caught a glimpse of the outside and I immediately knew where we were headed: Canterlot Castle. When we arrived, we were led by pony guards to a long hallway, at the end of which was Princess Celestia herself. I could sense power and authority radiating off of her.

“So you are the creatures that attacked my student?” She said, “you can understand me, correct?”

“Yes,” I replied, “sorry about my family, they're idiots, well apart from my dad, he’s a certified genius,”

“Interesting, might I ask what you are?”

“Homo sapiens, human to be precise,” my dad stepped in, “I assume you are a figure of authority?”

“You are addressing Princess Celestia, raiser of the sun,” Celestia said. Before rose words even left her lips, I could imagine my dad’s reply.

Dad chuckled to himself, “sorry did you say you raised the sun?” He asked incredulously,

“Yes,” Celestia replied. My dad chuckled again, looked Celestia right in the eye and declared in front of her,

“That is fucking bullshit.”