Mashed potatoes and Internal Struggles
Author's Note
I had to write this whole thing on my phone, and without an editor. Errors could be common. Comment if you find any distracting ones, or if you hate my fic and wish to, smoosh me.
Mashed potatoes and Internal Struggles
*Snap*
"Hey uhh... Are you in there, Sunset?"
"Leave 'er alone Dash, look at the poor girl."
*Snap Snap*
"Rainbow dear, don't be crude."
*Snap Snap Snap*
"We stop talking for like, two minutes, and she slips into another dimension. What do you want me to do? Leave her?"
"That seems to be the most appropriate course of action, yes." Rarity deadpanned
"I'll be appropriate some other time then. C'mon Sunshine. Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey." Rainbow leaned in until her fingers sat only inches in front of Sunset's blank face.
*SnapSnapSnapSnapSnap*
"I Love Bakey!" Pinkie launched up in her seat, nearly tipping a still silent Fluttershy over.
"Huh?" Sunset's head pulled away from the assaulting blue hand, startled back into the real world. "Oh...Uh, Sorry. What were you saying?" Rainbow Dash stared in disbelief, letting her head fall into her hands. She turned her head to the left, meeting Applejack's gaze.
"'What were you saying?' she asks me..." She turned back to Sunset. "Okay look, buddy. You've been super spacey lately. Like you went out to lunch, you're not all there. You all good?" Shimmer's eyes rolled.
"Well... I think I'm Oka-.""
"Err, she's right sugarcube. Itai'nuthin like you to be so oughofit" Applejack bit into a farm fresh apple, effectively slurring the rest of her sentence. Rarity flashed her the stink eye, prompting Applejack to give her a food filled smile. That earned her another stink eye.
"I've... Had some trouble sleeping lately; It's nothing that won't pass."
"Ratata! None of that nonsense, dear. You know we're here to help." Rarity waved a dissaproving finger at her newest friend, taking a dainty bite of something Sunset didn't recognize. She had a strong inkling that it tasted terrible.
"But I don't really neeed any help. Like I said, it should just blow over. Not entirely sure that you could help."
"Ya'll don't know that, and if ya hide whatever's ailing ya, you'll never know."
"And speaking of needing help." Rainbow re-inserted herself into the conversation with a pointed finger and a shout. "Today is 'Tato Tuesday, where's your food?"
Sunset looked at the empty space on the table infront of her where a tray of food normally lies. Said spot was nearly vacant, if not for the smear of something unidentifiable left on the table by a messy student. Her stomach gurgled at her.
"I'm staying away from... unhealthy foods?"
"Oh, here we go." Rainbow muttered, shifting her gaze back to Applejack once more. "'Staying away from unhealthy foods.' she says." Sunset shrunk back into her seat, silently wishing for a head of hair like Fluttershy's. "You told us you love 'Tato Tuesdays, and it comes with a side of vegetables. Look, even Fluttershy is eating some." Fluttershy meeped, sinking lower into her seat.
"I miss Taco Tues-"
"Shh Pinkie, I wasn't done." A blue hand found a home covering a pink mouth. "In all seriousness, you didn't eat yesterday either. Sick or somethin'? Don't even tell me you're trying to shave weight or some crap like that." Her group of friends all nodded their heads slowly, all eyes focusing on Sunset. Her jacket suddenly felt warmer, Rainbow inching her head towards her expectantly.
"We really do only wish to help darling..."
"I know but, I-"
"Out with it sugarcube." Applejack leaned in closer as well.
"Uhh."
"Maybe we could, probably, help... if you want us too... Probably"
"Ohh, not you too..."
"We should have Tacos on Tuesday Instead!"
"I just forgot my money, alright! Nothing more, and nothing less. I'm not dying, I haven't been corrupted by a great evil again, I'm fine, girls. I really, genuinely, honestly, pinkie swear, do not need." She paused and motioned around the table at her gawking friends. "Whatever... This... Is. Thank you, but, please. Enough." Rainbow pulled back a bit, wide eyed and partially deflated.
"But yo-."
"Nope."
"You can't ju-."
"Stop. Talking." Sunset had reached forward to cover Rainbow's mouth with her hand, much like Rainbow had done to Pinkie just a minute earlier. She slowly relented her hand, slumping back down onto the seat.
"Okaay, I give. We're just all worried about you. You're the new girl in the group, sorry to say we don't have effective chemistry yet."
"I know, but I said that I'm fine. Just leave it at that, Please."
"Sorry sugarcube, didn't meanta get under your skin neither. Ah won't pester ya anymore."
"No harm done." Sunset smiled, relaxing a little bit, her jacket sleeve clinging to her arm as she wiped a light layer of sweat off her forehead.
"But, if you ever need any..."
"Pinkie!" Sunset Cut off the brash girl and sharply turned to her hyperactive friend. "Howabout you tell us, everything, about your newest cake recipe."
"Oh My Gosh!" Pinkie gasped and nearly shot out of her seat, mouth open and arms flailing. "I knew someone would ask! So, I was running out of ingredients to make a normal chocolate cake, but then I saw Gummy on the counter and I said to my self "I can't put Gummy in a cake because he would be really really mad and I would be really really really sad!" But next to him was a box of cereal, and I figured that If I used that instead of cake batter I could have cake cereal! But then I thought.."
"Ahh... Peace."Sunset let her head rest back down onto her hand, letting her attention drift to the world outside the pastel school. It was raining today. Again. The window let drops of the clear liquid stream down it's face, a large puddle forming in the mud a few feet from where she sat comfortably, with plentiful warmth, inside. The rain had washed some budding plants onto the sidewalk, flattening them on the cold pavement. "How can something so... Necessary, be so destructive?" A particularly large drop of rain slid down the window, colecting a few other drops in it's merciless wake. A student unseen by her launched his lunch into the window, effectively disturbing the tranquility of the moment. She heard a quiet scraping sound just in front of her. A tray of food had been daintily pushed over the smear on the table. It was hardly touched, only the school appointed vegetables eaten away. Left instead was an almost full tray of mashed potatoes accompanied with a protruding spoon, her favorite.
Sunset smiled weakly and looked up from the steaming tray of perfection, her eyes settling on the meek-almost-mute girl across from her. Fluttershy did not have a tray of food in front of her, but Fluttershy smiled all the same.
"You...You looked hungry..." The pale yellow girl spoke as quiet as she usually did, hiding behind her bountiful hair away from the world and all that comes with it. Fluttershy was quite sure her blush could he seen by anyone at her table, but no one said anything.
She was thankful for that.
Yet, Sunset slowly pushed the tray back over to Fluttershy, hard as it was to do so. Fluttershy frowned, pushing it back and shaking her own head. This process repeated itself more than a couple times, until Sunset did not push the tray back.
"T-Thanks..." Although she knew what she was about to do completely stepped over the boundries of her rant, she took her friend's offer and slowly began eating what she had been given. Or she tried to eat slowly, at least. Truth was, she was hungry enough to eat the tray the food was presented on. She would have trouble forgiving herself for lying to her friends later. Not just for today, but for every day. She was never okay, but the reasoning behind that was her own battle, and she planned to keep it that way.
Not before long she had torn through the generous helping of food, almost letting a sigh of disappointment escape as she looked at the now empty tray. "Thanks.. again." Sunset tried her hardest to smile, but the food only reminded her of how little she had eaten that week. The gentle girl in front of her saw right through her guise, and Sunset knew this. Still, Fluttershy did not say anything. She did not smirk or nod in knowing victory, nor did she reprimand Sunset. She only smiled back.
"And THAT! Is why I now have three cakes made of only frosting! And also, early dismissal today! The party girl jumped out of her seat and onto the table, nearly putting both Sunset and Fluttershy into cardiac arrest.
"Oh my..."
"You hear that everyone? Short Day Party!" It wasn't long before Pinkie had the entire room entirely baffled, as it was not a shortened day. Almost as quickly as Pinkie had etched confusion unto those around her, had the powerful hold of both Applejack and Rainbow put a stop to it.
"Ya'll're goin ta break the damn table again, and today's a full day!" Pinkie stopped squirming and her hair lost some of its puff.
"It is...?"
"Yes! Now get down from there before you start another 'accidental' food fight."
"How... Uncouth, that was." Rarity shivered.
Pinkie did not step down, however. She threw her hands up into the air once more and declared that the full day would only help everyone's friendships flourish. Unsurprisingly, her rant was ended when a relativy upset Principle Celestia arrived and demanded she get down and report to her office immediately. Had it not been for a full tray of food 'slipping' under Pinkie's foot, subsequently entering airspace and landing upon Celestia's once disinterested face, she may have gotten away from the scene without a few detentions.
"Hehe...Oops." Celestia only pointed to Pinkie's imminent destination. The gig was up.
Fluttershy sat in her seat furiously blushing, heart beating halfway out of her chest. She was concerned with her hyper friend and her antics, but what mostly had her attention was her newest friend using Pinkie as a distraction to slip away. She watched Sunset slink out of the open door, dissappearing once the swinging door shut once more.
It didn't take much thought to decide on following her or not.
Sunset bumped into a slightly shorter girl as she made her way down the hallway. It sounded silly, but she almost actually forgot there would still be other students in the halls, ones that were not in her lunch wave. The short girl scowled at first, but shied away from Sunset like all others do. Sunset sighed, her shoulders tensing. The girl was just another student that remained afraid of her. She was part of a big group.
Very big indeed.
"I think that was... Flitter?" She sighed again. "I guess it doesn't matter anyways..." Sunset watched her go, Flitter coming to a locker with a few teens flooded around it."Probably already forgot I bumped into her." She trudged onwards, down a few more hallways until she reached the music room. Her favorite place to be.
With a flick of a switch, the room was illuminated, all the well kempt instruments lying inside shining in their stands. Sunset found her light blue guitar, or the one the school let her use. The strings groaned and moaned as she ran her hand across them. "Out of tune...nice."
She picked up the instrument, her instrument, proud to just get to hold it. The music she played as the newest Rainboom wasn't necessarily her favorite thing to play, but it have her a purpose among her friends. They insisted that she had purpose no matter what, but that wasn't true.
Her time in the human world easily showed her that it takes effort to be someone's friend.
Her finger found the crack in the paint just under the pick guard, where she had a little too much fun playing one day and hit a light fixture. At least she caught it on the way back down, right? She sighed, it didn't matter. The crack was still there, and it always would be. Sunset almost didn't hear the soft click of a closing door behind her.
Almost.
"C..Class is about to start..." The voice was to quiet to not be her.
"I think I have a free period next, so I have some time." Sunset made her decision to tune her guitar, picking it up and clipping a tuner onto the top.
"I'm in that class too..." Fluttershy watched as Sunset slowly turned the knobs, each sting rising and falling in pitch accordingly. Sunset put the first string in perfect tune.
"Oh, well then. Stay if you'd like." Fluttershy blushed and nodded, daintily sitting on top of an unused Amplifier. She decided that amplifiers were uncomfortable, moving to the floor in front of it instead.
"You know, there's more than just a few chairs in here." Sunset rolled her eyes and pointed to a rack of folded chairs leaning against the wall. The yellow girl slowly turned a deep, burning red, wordlessly getting chair for herself and Sunset.
She thanked her timid friend, sitting on the abysmally creak-ridden folding chair, continuing her absent minded tuning session. Fluttershy nervously shuffled in her seat.
"Oh Fluttershy, you big dummy! Say something." "Uhh..." She opened her mouth to speak, closing it and turning away when Sunset looked up from her guitar and right at her. Right at her!
"Ohh! I hope she doesn't make eye contact again..." "Eep!" Sunset did make eye contact again. She moved to the fourth string, this one almost unreasonably out of pitch. She idly wondered if some jokester detuned her guitar when no one was looking.
Probably.
"Soooo'uhh, what brings you down here? Fluttershy tended and his her face behind a curtain of hair.
"N-nothing really."
"Uh-huh..." Sunset leaned to her left and picked up Fluttershy's tambourine. "You wanna play?" Fluttershy shook her head.
"No thank you." Back to tuning, Sunset went. Fluttershy picked a lonely guitar pick up off the floor, shaking placing it down on the table next to Sunset. The flame haired girl smiled at her, but remained silent.
"C-can I ask you something, Sunset?"
"Hmm?" Sunset raised an eyebrow. Her fifth string tell into tune.
"Uhh... W-well, you don't have to tell me, if you don't want to...but. Why did you..."
"I don't bite, Fluttershy. You can ask."
"W-well, It's just that... I know you asked for." Sunset reached a hand out to place lightly on her friends yellow shoulder. Fluttershy's face lit up with red, just as it had many other times that day.
"Calm down Fluttershy."
"I am calm!"
"Breathe."
"I am breathing!"
"W-why did you run away from us, like that... t-today?"
"...What?" She stopped tuning the final string on her almost mint guitar.
"J_just now, while Pinkie was being... Pinkie. You left." Sunset's calm facial expression monentarily slipped into a frown. She started tuning the string again, a little bit quicker than she before.
"I just... Needed to be alone. For a little while, at least." Higher.
"O-oh. Well, they did stop asking questions..." Higher...
"But that doesn't mean I wasn't still wrapped around what they already asked. It was almost the entire lunch wave of questioning." Higher...
"They said They were sorry..." Higher...
"They shouldn't have asked in the first place!" Higher...
"But they were concerned. I'm sure t-they still are." Higher...
"There's nothing to even be concerned about!" Higher...
"That's not true!" Twang!
"Dammit!" The most fragile string exploded outward, splitting into two parts and putting another scratch at the base of the guitar.
"Oh my goodness." Fluttershy clasped her hands over her mouth, removing one to gently move it to the now give string guitar. "I'm so s-sorry! I didn-"
"Enough." She was silenced by a cold state and a pointed finger. "I, honestly, did not expect you of all people to come down here and do this."
"I-i'm sor."
"No you aren't!" You wouldn't have come down here, at all, if you were sorry." She roughly placed her guitar back on the stand, sixth string still drooping off the guitar. Fluttershy's eyes began to slowly water, glistening over with a clear and shiny coating.
"I-I"
"Please... Just leave me alone, now. I mean it this time. Just leave me alone." And just like that, Sunset left the room closing the door behind her with a surprisingly normal amount of force. Fluttershy sat alone in the middle of the music room, her arms idly placed on her knees as she sat. A few tears rolled down her cheeks, but she ignored them. For half an hour she sat like that. She was pretty sure she heard the he'll ring, signaling the start of the next class, but she ignored that as well. Another half hour went by without her moving a muscle.
She cried when her friends found her in the music room, She cried when they asked her what was wrong, and she cried when they tried to comfort her. She cried while they brought her to the nurse, and she cried even harder when they passed a still upset looking Sunset Shimmer in the hallway. She was sure she had never cried so hard in her life. Sure, she's had plenty of worse things said to her, about her. However, it had to be her that she upset this time. It had to be her that said those mean things this time.
She was sent home early that day, not that she cared. She couldn't even stop crying to tell her mother what was wrong. All she did was collapse on her bed next to her beloved pet rabbit, and cry. She knocked over something that lay next to her, the falling item loud enough to startle her rabbit off of the bed. She saw that it was her light pink journal, clipped to it was the picture Rarity took of herself, Fluttershy, and Sunset. She had perfectly drawn a few bubbly hearts around Sunset's head, one big bright heart in the middle.
She knew that she would have to cross them out now. Finding her fuzzy-cat-tipped pen, She picked up the book and slowly dragged a jagged line through the smallest heart.
"Four more..." She reciprocated the line through the second smallest.
"Three..." Another line
"Two..." Another.
"One..." Her pen sat at the edge of the heart, ink swelling where it sat motionless on the copied photo. She willed her hand to move as her tears started flowing once more. It was futile.
She couldn't do it. Definitely, could not do it. She did, however, pull away when her tears started to leave a noticeable mark on her diary. She opened it to the nearest clean page, almost halfway through the book. She sketched the date in the corner, followed by a crude frowny face.
It took time to know exactly what she would write, but after minutes of silent pondering, She wrote down one hopeful sentence.
"I'll make it up to her, I promise."
She passed out while re-reading those words, for the hundredth time.