//-------------------------------------------------------// JIMBOB'S CRAZY ADVENTURE (FEATURING RAINBOW DASH AND A STEP LADDER) -by JIMBOBDASH- //-------------------------------------------------------// //-------------------------------------------------------// THE STORY //-------------------------------------------------------// THE STORY BOB: BREAKING CLOP REPORT AT 5:43 JIM: DUN DUN DA DUN JIM: LATEST NEWS JIM: RAINBOW DASH HAS A PUSSY BOB: UPDATE JIM: GIVEN TO HER BY FLUTTERSHY BOB: IT TASTES LIKE RAINBOWS JIM: BREAKING NEWS BOB: WHAT IS IT BREAKING JIM: STEPLADDERS CANNOT BE PUT INSIDE JIM: I REPEAT JIM: STEPLADDERS CANNOTB E PTTINIJGHN BOB: THIS NEWS REPORTER CAN NOT BELIEVE HIS EARS JIM: HE IS DEAF JIM: BREAKING NEWS JIM: RAINBOW DASH'S PUSSY HAS BEEN PENETRATED BY HER OWN MASSIVE INFLATED EGO BOB: IT WAS A HORRIFYING SIGHT JIM JIM: YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN BOB JIM: HERE'S RICHARD ON THE SCENE BOB: "YES I AM HERE IN RAINBOW DASHES PUSSY BOB" BOB: "ITS VERY WET" JIM: WHY DO YOU ALWAYS GO INSIDE JIM: YOU'RE ALWAYS LIKE "I'M INSIDE THE VAGINA" BOB: BECAUSE I HAVE A FETISH BOB JIM: "IT'S WET" JIM: YOU'RE LITERALLY INSIDE JIM: ALL OF YOU JIM: IS INSIDE JIM: WHY BOB: DONT ASK ME BOB BOB: SOMEE SICK PART OF ME THINKS THIS IS HOT JIM: YOU ARE BEING DIGESTED BY A VAGINA, RICHARD BOB: VORE IS SEXY BOB JIM: . BOB: . JIM: BOB: WHA BOB: WHA BOB: WHAAHW BOB: YOUR A GODDAMN WIZARD JIM: HERE'S MY CURRENT THOUGHTS ON THE SITUATION JIM: JIM: THERE YOU GO BOB: WELL RICHARD, YOU HAVE FUN IN THERE JIM: BOB: AHH BOB: BOB: HA BOB: BOB: IM A GODDAMN WIZARD TOO BOB JIM: YOU FIGURED OUT MY SECRET BOB JIM: WAIT WHAT'S YOUR NAME BOB: UH BOB: NO IM BOB JIM: YOUR NAME IS BOB YOU FOOL BOB: YOUR JIM JIM: I'M JIM BOB: YEAH JIM: YES JIM: SHUT UP BOB BOB: OKAY JIM JIM: IS RICHARD DEAD YET BOB: PROBABLY BOB: WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A STEPLADDER BOB: OR A RAINBOW DASH BOB: WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE WATCHING THIS BOB: WHY ARENT WE OFF THE AIR JIM: THIS IS A PG TELEVISION NETWORK BOB: CHILDREN WATCH THIS SHOW JIM: WHO ARE CHILDREN JIM: BREAKING NEWS BOB: I THINK THEY'RE THE LITTLE MUNCHKINS BOB: WHAT IS IT JIM JIM: YOU'RE THE FATHER, BOB BOB: NO BOB: NO MY CARRER IS RUINED BOB: I CANT RAISE KIDS BOB: I CANT JIM: PLEASE SHOOT MY SALARY INSIDE OF ME, BOB BOB: GODDAMNIT MAN, MY LIFE IS RUINED BOB: THIS IS NO TIME FOR MONEY PORN BOB: I GOTTA ROB THIS PLACE TO SUPPORT MY FAMILY JIM: IT'S THE MONEY SHOT BOB: GODFUCKING DAMNIT JIM, YOU'RE GENIUS BOB: BREAKING NEWS BOB: THIS NEWS REPORTER  IS TURNING HIMSELF IN BOB: I CANT DO ANYTHING ANYMORE JIM JIM: BREAKING NEWS BOB: IM BATSHIT INSANE JIM: BOB IS BROKEN BOB: BREAKING NEWS BOB: THE TIME IS 5:52 BOB: THAT IS ALL JIM: BREAKING NEWS JIM: THE TIME IS STILL 5:52 BOB: WELL JIM HOW DOES IT FEEL BEING A CO HOST OF THE MOST POPULAR TELIVISION SHOW EVER JIM: YOU TOO, BOB. BOB: OKAY JIM BOB: WELL I THINK WE WILL BE THROWN OUT OF THE BUILDING ANY MINUTE JIM BOB: ON THE GROUNDS OF US BEING BATSHIT INSANE BOB: WHATS THE SCOOP JIM? JIM: SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, I AM THE ONLY RESPONSIBLE MATURE ADULT ON THIS SHOW JIM: THE SCOOP IS STRAWBERRY AND MINT BOB: YOUR WILLING CO HOST WITH A GUY WHO THINKS THE TIME IS BREAKING NEWS BOB: MY FAVORITE JIM BOB: WOULD YOU LIKE SOME BEFORE WE DIE? JIM: YOU'RE ALREADY DEAD TO ME, BOB. BOB: JIM BOB: YOUR THE MOTHER BOB: IM SORRY JIM: PLEASE SHOOT ME, BOB. BOB: JUST LIKE OLD TIMES JIM *BOB SHOOTS JIM * JIM: BOB IS DEAD BOB: BUT BOB: I WAS BOB: THE ONE WHO SHOT BOB: NO BOB: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE JIM: THEN WHO WAS PHONE, BOB? BOB: IF I AM KILL BOB: THEN WHO BOB: WAS FONE? JIM: OH MY FUCKING GOD, BOB JIM: IT'S RICHARD JIM: HE'S ON THE PHONE BOB: RICHARD BOB: HOW BOB: IT WAS BOB: IT WAS RICHARD BOB: I KNEW IT JIM: THAT SON OF A BITCH KILLED MY PET POODLE BOB: HIM AND THE STEPLADDER BOB: YOU GOTTA AVENGE ME JIM BOB: DO IT FOR MARTHA JIM: DON'T GO IN THERE AFTER HIM, BOB JIM: IT IS UNSANITARY BOB: IM DED JIM BOB: YOU GOTTA GO BOB: FORR ME JIM: BOB WHY ARE YOU DEAD BOB: BECAUSE I WAS SHOT JIM: HOLY SHIT JIM: IT MUST HAVE BEEN RICHARD BOB: WE HAVE BOB: ESTABLISHED BOB: THIS BOB: GO JIM: RICHARD SHOT YOU, BOB BOB: INTO RAINBOW DASHES PUSSY JIM: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT BOB: AVENGE ME JIM: THAT SON OF A BITCH KILLED MY PET POODLE BOB: YES BOB: FEEEEEEL THE HATE FLOW THROUGH YOU BOB: DO EET BOB: ECH BOB: KILL HIM JIM: WAIT BOB, ARE YOU DEAD? BOB: YES BOB: KIND OF BOB: IM NOT SURE JIM JIM: WHO DID THIS TO YOU? BOB: RICHARD JIM: THAT SON OF A BITCH JIM: HE KILLED MY PET POODLE BOB: GOD DAMNIT NOT AGAIN BOB: YOU  BEHIND THE CAMEERA JIM: BOB, WE HAVE TO FIND RICHARD BOB: DO SOMETHING BOB: HES IN RAINBOW DASHES PUSSY BOB: HE WAS FONE BOB: CAMERA MAN JIM: DO I LOOK LIKE I KNOW WHERE RAINBOW DASH'S PUSSY IS, BOB BOB: FREE ME FROM THIS HELL BOB: YES BOB: ITS FONE BOB: GO THROUGH THE FONE JIM: I CAN'T FIT BOB: YOU CAN BOB: HE FIT A STEP LADDER IN BOB: YOU CAN FIT IN TOO JIM: I'M TOO BIG BOB: DONT LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS JIM: I'M TOO DAMN BIG, BOB. BOB: FINE BOB: TAKE A PLANE TO 10250 RUFF NTAB RD BOB: NEW YORK BOB: THATS WHERE IT IS JIM: WELL YOU SEE, BOB JIM: THINKING ABOUT RAINBOW DASH HAS ME ALL HOT AND BOTHERED BOB: OH GOD BOB: COME ON MAN BOB: THINK OF THE CHILDREN BOB: WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL FILMING THIS??! JIM: BOB BOB: JIM JIM: I LOVE YOU BOB: I KNOW JIM: BOB LET'S GET MARRIED BOB: JIM LET'S HAVE KIDS JIM: IT'S A BABY BOY BOB: YES BOB: YOUR THE MOTHER BOB: CONGRATULATIONS BOB: WHAT SHOULD WE NAME HIM JIM: RICHARD BOB:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JIM: HOLY SHIT, BOB JIM: IT'S ME JIMDASH: I AM RAINBOW DASH BOB: WHAT BOB: WHAT BOB: NO BOB: NO JIMDASH: I'M GIVING BIRTH TO RICHARD BOB: I AL- BOB: NO BOB: NONONONO BOB: THIS CANT BOB: BE BOB: NO BOB: THATS IMPOSSIBLE BOB: I CAME INSIDE, RAINBOW DASH BOB: RAINBOW BOB: ARE YOU OKAY BOB: YOUR DOING GREAT HONEY JIMDASH: RICHARD JIMDASH: THAT SON OF A BITCH BOB: HERE HE COMES JIMDASH: HE KILLED MY PET POODLE BOB: OH GOD BOB: NOOOO JIMDASH: WHAT BOB: ITS BOB: YOUR CAUGHT IN A LOOP BOB: HAVE YOU EVER SEEN GROUNDHOGS DAY THE MOVIE? JIMDASH: I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF GIVING BIRTH, BOB BOB: KILL RICHARD BOB: MISCARRIAGE BOB: WILL A MISCARRIAGE JIMDASH: HE IS INSIDE MY VAGINA, BOB BOB: NO BOB: IF HE GETS STUCK IN THERE BOB: BUT BON: IF RICHARD BOB: WAS VAGINA BOB: THEN WHO BOB: WAS LADDER? JIMDASH: ????????????????? JIMDASH: HOLY SHIT, BOB JIMDASH: I JUST REMEMBERED BOB: WHAT JIMDASH: I'M GIVING BIRTH TO MY PET POODLE BOB: HOW BOB: GOD DAMNIT BOB: I KNEW IT JIMDASH: I HAD SEX WITH A DOG THAT ONE TIME, BOB BOB: I KNEW YOU WERE CHEATING ON ME WITH BRUTUS BOB: WHAT WAS IT BOB: HIS RUSTIC CHARM BOB: HIS SUAVE DEMEANOR BOB: I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING DASH JIMDASH: 20% COOLER, BOB BOB: GODDAMNIT BOB: I WASNT COOL ENOUGH BOB: IM SORRY DASH BOB: I LET YOU DOWN BOB: I'LL STILL BE HERE FOR YOU BOB: WHENEVER YOU NEED ME BOB: JUST REMEMBER BOB: KILL BOB: RICHARD