The Birthday Killer

by Gone now

Rating: mature
Tags: Dark, Tragedy, Random
Length: 2777

Somepony is trotting around killing ponies on their birthday.

Equestria is suffering tragedy again. This time it is a killer killing ponies on their birthday. Who is responsible for this? Who is next? One thing for sure, it isn't Pinkie Pie. Shout out to Nman625 for helping out by giving me motivation and suggesting a character. Special thanks to him!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-29 06:40:03 UTC

The Birthday Killer

"Happy birthday, my little princess," says Filthy Rich, moving a birthday cake in front of his daughter,  Diamond Tiara.

"At least it wasn't like the cake the Blank Flanks might have gotten," thinks Diamond, blowing out the candles.

The party had things you would like, if you were a rich pony. There was Bobbing for Bits, a clown (Randolph), and Pickpocket the Bits out of the Wallet. It was all good for the household. Time flew by quickly, and soon Filthy realized what time it was.

"Ok, dear, time for bed. School night."

Filthy tucked in Diamond,  shut off the lights, and closed the door. That's when Tiara noticed something wrong. On the wall in front of her bed was writing in glow in the dark paint, saying "Happy Birthday". However, she thought maybe her dad wrote it there. She began to fall asleep.

"Yes, happy birthday," says a mysterious figure in the dark.

The next morning, the house was marked as a crime scene. The Ponyville police was there to investigate a murder. With them was Twilight Sparkle, who decided to be a detective for the police. Pinkie Pie was arrived at the crime scene when Twilight exited the building.

"I didn't put poison in the cake, Twilight," yells Pinkie Pie.

"Of course you didn't , Pinkie. The corpse says a different thing," replies Twilight.

"Ma'am, do you have any conclusions on the filly?" asks a police officer.

"It was murder," replies Twilight.

On the same morning,  school begun. The fillies were happily talking to each other when Cheerilee attempted to get their attention. It took a moment, but she finally got the class's full attention.

"Students, this morning I have received bad news. Maybe one of you did, but Diamond Tiara was murdered last night," says Cheerilee.

"Do you know how?" asks Silver Spoon, Diamond's best friend.

"It was by knife while she was about to sleep," Cheerilee answers.

"Hey girls, I think this might be our chance to get our Cutie Marks," says Apple Bloom.

"I don't know, Apple Bloom. Hunting down a murderer seems kind of risky," says Scootaloo.

"Come on, Scootaloo! How often does a murderer come to Ponyville?" asks Sweetie Belle.

"Girls, lessons have started," says Cheerilee.

While Cheerilee was talking about algebra,  Scootaloo pointed a hoof gun at her head. All the three could think about was getting a Cutie Mark by catching the murderer. They could imagine police related Cutie Marks, like a badge. Because of their thoughts, they failed to realize that Sweetie Belle got called to answer a question.

A few weeks later was Rarity's birthday. This time there was normal pony birthday games, like Bobbing for Apples and Pin the Tail on the Pony. There was even a piñata. Fortunately for Rarity, Pinkie didn't use Gummi's favorite, or brought Gummi. After the games were done, Rarity got to open presents.

"Naterally made fabric, Fluttershy?" asked Rarity with excitement.

"Yes. Do you like it?"

"I love it! And I have enough to fill an order!"

"I even got a gift for Opal."

"You didn't have to! But I am sure Opal would like it."

"I also got a present for you, Rarity," says Pinkie Pie.

Rarity opens it up, triggering one of Pinkie's party cannons. Confetti blasted inro her face, covering her fur and mane with colorful paper. The noise angered Opal, causing her to run off. Rainbow Dash is rotating on the on the floor, holding her sides due to laughter. Rarity is feeling like smacking her on the back of the head for not only laughing, but also leaving tears on the floor she and Sweetie Belle just mopped up. But since Rainbow is on the floor, nearly out of breath, crying tears of joy, Rarity sticks with Pinkie.

"Ow!"

Twilight Sparkle gave her a book about advanced sewing techniques, Applejack gave her some plants for spa like relaxation,  and Rainbow Dash is too busy trying to catch her breath. Because Dash sat up, Rarity took the chance to whack her. This gave Pinkie Pie an idea, running to grab six pillows.

"Pillow war," screams Pinkie, throwing each of the ponies their own pillow.

The battle lasts for a couple hours, because they were all getting tired. They all said goodbye and left. Rarity decided to take a shower to remove the confetti off her mane. However, when she turned on the shower, she heard the bathroom door open.

"Excuse me, Sweetie, but your sis is in the shower!"

"Who is this Sweetie you are talking about? " asks a masked pegasus.

The pegasus grabbed a hold of Rarity using her wings and tied her hooves to the wall directly under the water. The pegasus pulled out an axe, that actually had Rarity's name on it.

"What are you doing?" asks Rarity.

"Giving you a present."

The masked mare started to chop at Rarity's left leg, landing three hits. Rarity screams in pain. The blood coming from Rarity's new cuts were washing off very quickly. She could hardly tell where she got cut at, but could still feel the pain. Then, seemingly out of nowhere,  the pegasus jammed a stick in her neck, and then fatally snaps neck. Rarity lost her life. The mare untied the dead unicorn, but kept the shower running, keeping the body wet and raising the electric bill.

"Rarity, I heard you screaming," says Sweetie Belle, entering the bathroom.

The muderer throws a knife at one of Sweetie's hooves, causing her to be unable to move. The mare uses it as a chance to escape, trotting into the darkness. Belle was stuck to the floor, helpess, near the same area that her dead sister is.

"Please be passed out," says Sweetie Belle, crying.

The next day, Rainbow Dash dropped by to drop off a gift for Rariry, since she fotgot it last night. When she enters the building, she heard crying.She runs towards the sobbing to see Sweetie Belle stuck and blood on the wall.

"Rarity, wake up," says Rainbow, shaking her.

"Is she all right?" asks Sweetie.

"She is dead. I will call police immediately."

"Whaat?" Sweetie Belle begins bawling after hearing it.

Rainbow Dash trots to the phone, and calls the police. Twilight came back to examine the corpse. When looking at the corpse, she thought that the killer couldn't be clearer. She got the knife out of Sweetie Belle's hoove and walked out. There, she turned towards a police officer.

"I think the killer is Pinkie Pie," Twilight whispers.

"We'll go get the hoove cuffs ready."

The two law enforcers went to Sugar Cube Corner to search for Pinkie Pie. Without any doubt,  Pinkie Pie was there.  The two officers hold out weapons while holding their badge.

"Pinkie Pie, I never thought I would say this, but you are under arrest," says Twilight.

The next morning was Pinkie Pie's trial. Filthy Rich and Rainbow Dash were brought in as witnesses, as they have seen a corpse left behind from the true killer. Sweetie Belle was allowed to help with jurying, being the second filly to do jurying duty.

"Call the schoolmaster," says the judge.

"Sir, this isn't the correct trial for that," says the stallion having to stand next to the judge.

"Oh, call the rich father."

Filthy Rich walked towards the witness booth to answer questions. Pinkie Pie is looking nervous, as she may get a bad sentence for a crime she didn't commit. And with what Filthy Rich and Rainbow Dash might say, she may wind up in jail. But she sat at her booth quietly, looking at nearly everypony in town. She was so caught up in her thoughts that she failed to realize Rainbow Dash was being questioned.

"Do you believe Pinkie Pie, your friend, is the murderer of two ponies?" asks the question pony.

"I have a very hard time believing that. I would believe it more if it was Pinkamena," Rainbow answers back.

"Do you have any involvement with the death of Rarity?"

"Only being at the party."

"One last question. Are you aware that if Pinkie is locked up, you won't be a target?"

"Yes."

"What does the jury have to say?" asks the judge.

"Pinkie Pie is guilty of two homicides and attack on a young filly," says the main jury pony.

"But the killer is a pegasus," yells Sweetie Belle, but not loud enough to get their attention.

The following morning was Pinkie's  sentence. She will be hung unless she confess to her crime. She already has the noose around her neck, telling her she has one chance left. She was still attempting to tell the truth, but everypony but Sweetie Belle is convinced Pinkie is the killer.

"Stop," yells a random stallion.

The yelling causes the mechanics pony to accidentally pull the switch, causing Pinkie to be hung. She was choking on the rope while wiggling in an attempt to get out. She then lost all of her breath, being unable to move.

"I am pretty sure this mule is the killer!"

"What makes you say that?" asks a random pony.

"Since we don't see her often, and nopony knows who she is, she might be a traveling killer!"

"Burn her!"

Two months later, Scootaloo was invited to a sleepover with Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom. Since the death of Rarity, Applejack was allowed to be Sweetie's guardian. And tonight was Sweetie's birthday. It was an average party, with the exception of the sleep.

"What's bugging you, Sweetie? " asks Bloom.

"Just thinking about the murderer still on the loose. "

"C'mon, Sweetie Belle, she's been hung," says Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle and the rest of the fillies decide to attempt to sleep. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo wake up to see that Sweetie Belle was missing. They run to Applejack to tell her, then Applejack called the police to report Sweetie missing. The police found no trace of Sweetie Belle, so the other to CMCs realized that Belle was worrying about the correct thing.

"The murderer is still  on the loose," says Apple Bloom, crying about the loss of Sweetie Belle.

"How is that possible? Pinkie got killed," replies Scootaloo.

"Maybe it's because we got the wrong mare!"

"Maybe your right. Too bad no pony in Ponyville will believe us," Scootaloo dreadfully agrees.

Later that night, DJ Pon-3 was performing a concert at a rave party. There were multiple types of ponies, each wearing glowsticks around their necks and neon bracelets around their hooves. Pon-3 was playing some of her new songs along side Neon Lights. When their fourth song ended, DJ Pon-3 went up to the mic.

"Hello party goers! Sorry to make an interruption, but today is my birthday!"

You could hear somepony yell happy birthday. DJ Pon-3 told Neon to play the intermission music while she gets prepared for the next song.  In the back room, Pon-3 was having a snack while changing outfits for the next song, which is about the fall of the previous Canterlot, a song she never performed before. While eating, she was moving her hoof in an attempt to get her water. She couldn't feel it.

"Where in the world of Equestria is may water bottle?"

A mysterious figure gave her the bottle that she was looking for. She was about to say thanks to her, but realized the mysterious mare wasn't supposed to be back there. DJ assumed she was just another fan who snuck past security. She decided she had enough of all the fans sneaking around.

"Thank you for the water, but you are not supposed to be here!"

"Why not?" the mysterious pony asks, pulling out a knife using her wing with out the DJ knowing.

"This is for authorized ponies and performers only!"

"But I am not a fan."

The pegasus exposed the knife and lodged it into her stomach, making her vomit due to the force of the knife. She noticed that when the knife entered her body, it made a wub sound. The wub sound was set to high, the only sound of her murder that fans could hear, and even Neon thought it was part of the intermission song.

"Why ar- are you do-oing this?" asks DJ Pon-3, weakly.

"Happy birthday, Vinyl Scratch."

The pegasus proceeds to continue stabbing her in the stomach area. Vinyl was becoming increasingly weak, and in an attempt to stop the killer, she slowly put her hoof on her. The killer cut it off, then stabbed her in the brain, but she somehow stayed alive. Mean while, the intermission music ended, making the fans upset. Neon attempted to keep the crowd under control.

"She might be taking a little while longer. I will go check on her now," Neon says.

Neon Lights walked into the changing room, and noticed blood on the wall and a dismembered hoof. He ran towards the end of the blood line to see DJ Pon-3 lying on the ground with a knife in her head. She could hardly even move, and only could manage to look at Neon.

"C-call the puh-police, Neon," says DJ. "And an ambul-lance."

Neon did that, and police officers and hospital ponies came immediately. Neon walked back onto the stage to deliver the bad news while Pon-3 was being taken to the hospital. Before he could start, his phone rang. The call brought even more bad news. He was nearly heartbroken enough to not tell the crowd, but he didn't want the crowd to wait any longer.

"The unicorn pony you came to see tonight, DJ Pon-3, was stabbed multiple times, and died in the ambulance."

The fans were upset, as many of them had DJ Pon-3 as their favorite, and she got murdered in the middle of a concert. The fans never got to hear the never before performed song. A fan favorite DJ, and Neon's best friend, was gone.

The murderer was considered a major Equestria risk, showing of how she killed 3 ponies, maybe even four. Security was built up to protect Ponyville, and to prevent suspicious characters from entering or leaving.

The next birthday was Rainbow Dash's, and it was put under major security. Guards were placed semi-strategically. There was not as much fun, due to the guards and worries that the killer was among them. Then, Rainbow Dash walked into the kitchen, where there was no pony. When she checked for cider, she found the murderer in the fridge. She got out and walked towards Rainbow, scared out of her wits. Dash figured this was it, and prepared for the worst.

"Stop right there," yells Fluttershy, with three guards behind her.

The guards managed to catch the murderer thanks to Rainbow Dash, who flew towards her. The murderer was caught. But who was the murderer? Fluttershy took off the mask, to reveal Derpy Hooves.

"Derpy Hooves?!?" asks all of them.

"Yes, I am the killer," says Derpy.

"How did you learn all of these ponies' birthdays?" asks Fluttershy.

"I am a mail mare."

"Oh, I had no idea."

"Why?" asks Derpy.

"I have a different mailmare. In fact, my birthday was yesterday."

"But why did you do it?" asks Rainbow Dash.

"There are these voices in my head that told me to get rid of ponies by giving them their last birthday present."

"Well, what do you two think the sentence should be?" asks one of the guards.

Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy form a circle to discuss what the sentence should be. There was a small disagreement over where Derpy should be sent to. Rainbow Dash thought prison and Fluttershy thought a medical hospital.

"Fluttershy, this is a murderer that may have killed four ponies! Why would she need to go to a mental hospital?"

"She said that there were voices in her head telling her what to do. We can't really punish the physical murderer as she was being controlled by something that isn't her."

"But how would an asylum be proper?"

"With the mental hospital, she might get improved mental health, and might be able to ignore the voices."

"All right. Guards, we both agree that Derpy Hooves is to be in a mental hospital to improve her mental health."

On Fluttershy's fifth weekly visit, Derpy was much more cooperative. She was communicating with the employees and those in the hospital. Derpy seemed happy everytime she saw Fluttershy, and this time, Derpy was already in a good mood. Fluttershy hoped that Derpy would be released soon, and had their weekly conversation. One of the doctors said if it wasn't for Fluttershy's visits, they would have a tough time with Derpy.

And nearly everypony lived happily ever after. The end.