Crazy…
Colorful, but crazy, and too often, cut-throat…
Those are the words that come to many people when they think of Ponyville, it’s strange, this town was, at least historically, a very happy, quaint little town…
Now, just like almost everywhere else, it’s a complete mess…
Greed, crime, corruption, sadness, terror, blah blah blah, dystopian society and all that Golden-Oak movie studio banter…
Only difference is, it’s not just some oppressive regime, it’s not all black and white, nor that bland vampire grey that for some Faust-awful reason mares go batshit over, no pun intended for once…
It’s far more complex than that. Some places have your nasty dictator type, places such as that realm called “Clamburgia”, run by some weird chick called “Vendetta”. My friend, Opakl Habafike, founder and C.E.O. of Habafike Industries fled the realm, after he realized who he was working for. I guess that’s why HBI is so focused on helping society improve itself, intellectually, technologically, economically, you name it…
But then there’s his arch-rival, ¢a$h ¢olt Incorporated, led by a pony most only know as Corporate Commander, who’s only goal is apparently not to rule the world, but own it, in my opinion, no better than that Vendetta lady…
Then there’s that “human pride” terror cell from Humearth, The Sapien Bloodline, but really they’re just a bunch of WASPs and Neo-Nazis in disguise who think they’re heroes fighting for an oppressed race…
There’s that crazy cult/terror cell calling themselves The Saviors of Dawn, spread across Anthroterra and Equis, who are a twisted combination of communism, cult, and anti-captialism crusaders…
Corrupt or stupid as hell politicians everywhere, they’re either manipulating the system or too busy bitching with the opposing party to do their own fucking job, at least back in Drakana they had the decency to try and kill each other, even if they did it by having US fight their battles, or shoot rockets and drop smart bombs on everything BUT each other…
Wow, even in my head they sounded stupid as shit…
And then there’s just all the crooks. Gangs, Cartels, those 3 guilds fighting over the “True Ruler of Equestria”, despite the fact they all vanished 300 years ago due to the Equestrian Revolution happening, pulling drive-bys, drug dealing, killing each other and destroying things, all for what? Because he said Luna’s better, she said Celestia’s better, and fucking Yandere-Chan over there thinks Discord’s better? These Ponies, some of them I just don’t get…
But some I do get, many ponies out here DO wish to make things better, like my dear friend Sketching Music, good kid, never seen anyone with such a heart like his, strong, sweet, always there, I’m proud to call him my right hand, or, claw, in my case…
Then there’s Blissful Pride, founder and leader of the Ponyville Detective Agency, when the bumbling PVPD can’t solve a case they always go to her. She's smart, witty, always good to have around, she’s helped bust open many cases, and helped bring peace to so many families…
I guess what I’m trying to say to myself is, despite things being so bad now, there are still good people out there trying to make it better. Yeah, there’s a lotta bad people out there, there’s a lotta apathetic people, but you know what? There's a lotta people that also wanna change things, make a better future, try and help fix the broken dream society has become…
Restructure it, if you will…
My name is Rancor Palmach, leader and founder of the United Fellows Hired Army, and I promise, to everyone, I will do everything I can to help make the world a better place…
Together with my friends and associates, I pledge that someday, this world, ALL worlds, will at least have the strength, the heart, the intelligence, and the mindset, to finally end it's self destruction, and to finally start advancing for a change...
An omniverse where there is finally peace, or at least peace that can be easily maintained...
I'm not saying it'll be easy, or that it'll only take a short while, oooohhhh no no no no! I KNOW it's gonna take a while, that it's gonna take effort, from everyone, but I think the outcome is worth it...
No more recessions, no more failed diplomacy, no more dim witted 2-year olds in pantsuits running up the national bill bitching at each other...
No more commies, no more corrupt corps, no more police brutality, no more "THEY KILLED MAH BABY! LOOK WHAT THEM SUN HUMPERS DID TO MAH BABY!" no more apathetic morns, and no more swastika humping idiots who didn't pay any attention in history class at all, I mean seriously how fucking stupid can you be?
...
Moooooooooving on...
As long as I got my friends at Habafike Industries, The United Fellows Hired Army, the good old Ponyville Detective Agency, and everyone else, there's hope yet, and I intend on not making that hope die in vain...
...
Come to think of it, didn't I go on a huge mental rant thing last week? Huh, I guess Opakl's right, maybe I SHOULD knock it off...
...
NAH! Why bother?
Attention all UFHA operatives! We got a code purple at the old recycling plant, those Solar Lunar morons are in a serious firefight with each other and the PVPD’s hired us for backup….
Well, I guess now it’s officially another Tuesday in Ponyville!
Hahahahahaha, oh boy…
Repeat! We have a code purple by the old recycling plant in south central Ponyville, members of The Solar Empire and Lunar Republic have engaged in a massive firefight with military grade weapons, multiple Ponyville Police Department officers have been either killed or severely wounded in the fray and are requesting immediate backup, all nearby members of the Anti Gang Enforcement & Intelligence Sector are ordered to respond IMMEDIATELY!
Author's Note
In case you haven't noticed:
1) This is being narrated by Rancor thinking to himself, hence the Italics for days thing...
2) Restruction is also meant to be social commentary as well as action packed, It was heavily inspired by how Rockstar writes Grand Theft Auto...
3) Restruction has MANY factions and sides, so if you don't like one group or character, try to look for another, I know you guys like your characters (who doesn't)
4) My first story, so please, constructive criticism, I know you guys aren't like all those CoD MLG's and Squeakers I have to deal with in GTA Online, but I also know you guys can get pretty nasty too, if I offended or hit a nerve, let me know in a respectable way, as for criticism, tell me how I can improve, don't just be all "LLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAH DIS SUX! GIT GUD STOOPID! HAAHAHAAHAHAH!" I'm sick of that shit...
5) Yes, I find the whole "Solar Empire/Lunar Republic" thing a pointless fight, comparable to the gangs of 90's L.A., so what? Well, at least now you guys have a new idea for a band, C.W.A., Cloppaz with Attitude
6) Yes, I called KP "Yandere-Chan", don't take it the wrong way, she's actually one of my favorite analysts, and honestly I just thought the reference would be funny...
