"Luck" of the Irish

by Space Kitty

Rating: teen
Tags: Tragedy, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Sad, Romance, Original Character, Random, Adventure
Length: 1872

First, stairs collapse. School classes are cancelled for earth ponies and unicorns unable to teleport. And many things start to go wrong.

Shit gets real as stairs collapse, school is cancelled, a deadly virus attacks and nuclear war begins. Two ponies that are best of friends try to pull through this, and succeed. However many of their loved things have been destroyed... including Potato Crisp's family.

Published 2015-09-11 03:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-10-01 02:24:16 UTC

Raspbian

Star Speller connected cable after cable, and started using her hooves for things. She was now in the bedroom that she shared with Potato Crisp, constructing a television that would be able to run the Linux/Debian based operating system as well as an Xbox and a Haystation. It was nearly done when Potato walked in. "Star, there's a problem... there's nuclear war beginning." he said sadly. Potato's Lust had been tired out and he was on his shy side, so he wasn't ready for when Star walked up to him and gave him a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"It'll be ok. Hey, I've almost finished our television. It runs a Linux operation system and all we need to do now is hook all the extras on." replied Star. With a flick of her horn, a pair of keyboards and USB extension cables came floating by, accompanied by computer mice.

They automatically connected to the television set and were set on the tables superglued and hammered to the front of their bunkbed. An Xbox was plugged into the wall, then into the television. A loud explosion was heard. "Damn nuclear war." Star muttered as she hooked up the Haystation.

When the television was finished, Star put her own electronics on their chargers and sat on her top bunk bed. From there she opened up Yandere Simulator and began killing some shit.

The Sarong Virus Attacks

"If you come back once more, it shall be-" *beep, beep, beep, beep* *boooooooop!* "This is an emergency annoucnement regarding the Sarong Virus discovered last week. It has spread to Ebensburg, Griffonstone and is spreading farther quite quickly. Please get as far underground as possible and/or find your way to Canterlot. The bedrock under Canterlot has been modeled into an underground city, stocked with more food that is in Equestria's shopping malls altogether, as preparation for this day. Disease scans will be performed on any ponies that come after 11:00 AM today, and if you do have the disease, we will not let you in. However, what really sucks for you is that they will be forced to kill you.

So stay safe and uncontaminated, thank you." *beep,beep,beep,beep* *boooooooooop!* "-painful you'll see! I hope you die in a fire!"

Star immediately texted Potato about the emergency broadcast. He rammed in through the window almost immediately. Shutting the window, Star realized that her parents had taken a carriage to Canterlot and they had just left.

Potato grabbed onto Star and flew her away, out the window, and up to a cloud. The broadcast was correct, and the ponies below them were acting aggressive and stabbing each other over their dogs taking a shit in the neighbor's yards. Lyra started shooting ponies left and right for getting in her way. She was heading for the Mirror Portal. Not for long, because Star Speller sent a freezebeam for where Lyra was running, quickly freezing her on the spot. Star hadn't screwed up her timing and proceeded to make sure Potato looked away, and then she took a crap onto the fighting mob of earth ponies and unicorns. Thank sweet Jesus that the virus also took away their magic. Pegasi could fly, but they could not stand on clouds, and very few had gotten infected. Freezebeams were shooting left and right to hit the Pegasi with, and Potato had found an uncontaminated flamethrower. Together they shot beams of ice and fire at any that attempted to attack them. It worked perfectly. After someone was frozen in place, Potato would cook them until they were dead with the flamethrower. This went on for a couple hours until all the zombies summoned had been either eternally frozen or cooked until dead. Star rejected the air trip to Canterlot and asked for the flamethrower instead. Once she had it, she put the firey blaze of death into the back of the cloud and magically seatbelted herself into the cloud. Potato flew slightly above, pondering what the heck she was doing. Not for long. Star pulled the flamethrower trigger with her telekinesesis. "WWAAAAAAAAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" was heard from some 100 feet ahead. Potato flew after her, after all, the flamethrower was limited. Five minutes later, it seemingly ran out. Potato caught up fast, only to realize they were there, and that the flamethrower had been stopped on purpose. Hopping into the disease scan, they tested "Killed a shitload of the diseased to get here and survive.". After a brief sanitary shower, they jumped down into the matress pile at the start of the bunker. Star shot a tickle beam at her sister once she saw her. That got her parents' attention.

"I thought you two were dead!"
"I'm so sorry we left you behind... we thought you had already been teleported here."
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Star disabled the tickle beam and hugged her family.
Then Potato walked over. He whispered into Star's ear and they went over into where the Canterlot Gardens had been remade underground.

Confessions Of Love

Potato led Star into the garden deeper and deeper until they got to the deepest part.

"Star... there's something I need to tell you. In case we don't make it out of here alive." Potato said while hovering.

"Yes?" replied an uneasy-looking Star.

"I-I've liked you more than friends... I've had a crush on you since we became friends... I... think you're pretty and funny." he said, dropping from his hovering state to the ground. Star's eyes went the size of dinner plates, simply staring. Potato's eyes shrunk to the size of bits. "Oh no..." he thought.

And that's when Star leaned into his face and kissed him. On the lips. It was clearly visible that Potato was redder than a cherry. He didn't move or try to speak. Potato's wings were clearly popping out from being startled like that. When Star pulled away, she was a slightly dark shade of pink and smiling shyly. "It took you long enough... I've felt the same way."

The Obvious Inside Out Reference

The two ponies went into their small room, since there were only so many ponies had to often share rooms.

Meanwhile in Star Speller's head, Intelligence and Sadism were trying to figure out Schrodinger's Cat. " It's physically impossible for a living being to be simultaneously alive and deceased, so the cat is dead. " Sadism said, poking Intelligence in the stomach. Panic ran by, and from the looks of it she was running around due to all that had happened. Lust was also panicking and blushing like crazy. This was insanity as it was, and Sadism, ironically, was the most sane one in Star's mind. That's why she was in main control along with the second most sane, Lust. Strength took over when things made Star angry, because with him in charge, Star could lift an entire dresser with one hoof when very angry.

Star was in the sleeping bag on the floor, settling in. Potato was confused. "Hey, why are you on the floor? You come up here, sleeping on the floor sucks!" he complained. Star got up on the top bunk of the bunk bed and lay down. Suddenly Potato was beside her.

*censored, because it's not sex but a pretty damn intense makeout session with cuddles, and Potato gets multiple wingboners.*

How To Annoy A Social Studies Teacher

Star made the Narwhal signal, and winked.

Together with Potato and some other friends, she started singing out loud.

"Narwhals, Narwhals, swimming in the ocean, causing a commotion, cuz they are so awesome!"

Then, when the verse ended, the teacher mildly confused, the entire class started singing.

"NARWHALS, NARWHALS, SWIMMING IN THE OCEAN, CAUSING A COMMOTION, CUZ THEY ARE SO AWESOME! LIKE AN UNDER WATER UNICORN, THEY CAN STAB THINGS WITH THEIR HORNS, THEY ARE JEDI OF THE SEA!"

"They stop Cthulu from eating ye!"

"NARWHALS, THEY ARE NARWHALS! NARWHALS."

"Just don't let them touch your balls."

"NARWHALS, THEY ARE NARWHALS. NARWHALS."

"Inventors of the shishkebab!"

By now the teacher was pissed. He flipped a table, threw a grenade out the door into the makeshift school hallway, and clung to the ceiling.

Star used her magic to disable the grenade as quickly as possible, then started playing Tombstone Cats on the class computer.

Next thing you know, the teacher was fired for ambushing a narwhal.

Shit Gets Real Already

"Hurry up Potato, we'll be late for Social Studies!" shouted Star Speller as she teleported down the halls. Potato was flying directly behind her, attempting to keep up. As they were flying and teleporting down the stairs, a large crumbling sound was heard as the stairs began to collapse. Many unicorns began to simply teleport to the bottom, but Star Speller's magic was weaker than the larger unicorns' magic. Just before the crumbling stairs let her fall, she was picked up and carried down to solid ground. Looking up, she realized Potato Crisp had saved her life.

"That was... close." sighed Potato. "I think we shouldn't try going up stairs anymore. You should stand on a desk and teleport to the next floor, and take some others with-" He was cut off by Star teleporting directly above him and giving him the tightest hug he had ever felt. Getting up, Star teleported the two of them to Social Studies. The bell rang just after they got there, and they sat down. The announcement alarm blared, and a PSA began to play around the school.

"Attention students and teachers of Lyker High school of North Canterlina. There have been multiple staircases collapsing, and I would like to ask all unicorns and pegasi to take at least one non-flying or non-teleporting pony with them due to the fact that here at Lyker, we are not racist. The school will be closed earlier than usual, it will be closed before 8th period. Thank you and stay away from the remaining staircases."
rambled the principal. Her voice was fearful, as if their lives were in danger. After all, they were not in any danger at all. Right?

Nope!

Star was walking over the balcony to get to Tech Innovation And Design. Potato was flying behind her, heading to Biology. A large crumbling sound was heard. "Oh Shit..." was the last words out of the unicorn's mouth before she fell.

"Star? Star? D-don't... D-don't die... please..."
"Don't die on me... DON'T DIE ON ME STARLIGHT SPELLER! PLEEEAAAAASE!"
"Oh, Star..."
"STWAAAAAR! EEEEEEEEEEEGH!"
"Shut up, Cornicopia."

"Uhhhmrrgh. What the hell?" said Star, waking up unable to move her body. She realized that she was being hugged half to death by her family and two friends. "Mom, Dad, Cornie, Potato, Bell, I'm okay. Please... get off. You're gonna suffocate me." That one word got everyone off of her. Suffocate. Getting up, she asked "How am I alive and unharmed?"

"I caught you about two feet off the ground." replied Potato. All heads nodded in agreement. Star dusted herself off and ambush hugged Potato. His wings flew out, causing the AC to blow the two ponies away and nearly into a nearby wall if Star had not teleported them back out of the way of the AC.