EggBall

by SIlverBullet

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Human, Comedy, Random, Crossover
Length: 3667

Eggman uncovers the harsh truth about alternate realities and the mayhem it brings... all from one pony.

Eggman, A mad scientist from the world of Sonic The Hedgehog. In order to defeat his arch-Nemesis he builds a portal to an alternate world from their own and pulls back a creature of the equine variety… and very kooky one at that. A simple laugh with destruction and a lot of robot explosions.

Idea came from a random conversation with Frozen Quill during college

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-10-20 04:20:02 UTC

Chapter 1:...CURSE THAT VIOLET EQUINE!!!

On a small remote island stood tall a large spire of robotic proportion. Within the spire's control room was a large curved window showing the ocean view while a huge chair was placed in the middle of the metallic room looking out onto the ocean. Everywhere you looked was a button or switch of some kind that operated the Badniks everywhere around the spire. In the seat sat a bald and obese man with thin legs. He wore old small spectacles that rested on his long nose. He has a moustache that is longer than his round face. His clothing is a red lab coat that covered his whole spherical body and black tight trousers that almost counted as long clown type boots. His name is Dr. Eggman, a human with 300 IQ which lead him to be a master inventor of robots... and tried to take over the world of Mobius countless times, but only to fail because a certain blue hedgehog destroying his toys. Behind Eggman were two trusty robots named Orbot, who was red with a round head, and the other called Cubot, who was yellow with a cube head. Orbot was a humble butler type while Cubot is the thick "I'm going to put this metal rod into a live socket." type.

"MUAHAHAHAHA!!" Eggman stood from his chair laughing menacingly out the window.

"I do say Master has a plan?" Orbot said behind the chair next to Cubot slightly feeling uncomfortable from Eggman's sudden burst in laughter.

"Sonic won't know what hit him this time," Eggman replied as he shot from his seat and out of the door behind his seat.

"Do we have to follow him?" Cubot said towards Orbot with his arm pointing out the door.

"Only if my programming would let me." Orbot finished as he floated out the room while Cubot followed behind Orbot. As the three made it down an Eggpawn infested hallway they eventually made it towards a large room. Within the large room was a see through glass blast shield with a console behind it attached. The wires on the console go towards a large metal plate with two electric pylons pointing down towards the ground attached to a massive machine in the background with a chaos emerald inside.

"That blasted Hedgehog has foiled my plans for the last time." Eggman snickered evilly as he made his way towards the console "This machine will teleport any creature of any size and shape to my aid... Eggpawn's!!! Positions!!!" Eggman screamed as he hovered his hand over a big red button. The Eggpawn's had the same look as Eggman but all orange colours with a robotic face, body and limbs. The Eggpawns circled the plate with oversized jousting pikes getting ready for whatever may come.

"This seems a tad bit extreme Master?" Orbot said towards the oversized crazy human with his hand hovering the red button.

"This time I will end that Hedgehog with an alternate race!!!" Eggman screamed as he slammed the button starting up the machine. The three watched as the machine sparked, creating electricity that sparked out of control everywhere around the room taking a couple of the Eggpawns out. The remaining Eggpawn's braced as a massive surge of electricity crashed onto the metal silver plate, creating a large smoke cloud. Eggman leaned forwards against the glass with anticipation for what he brought into (almost) his world. The smoke cleared and the Eggpawn's took another step towards the metal pad. Eggman's jaw dropped in disbelief as his eyes mowed down the strange creature in front of him.

"This is really a cruel joke!" Eggman screamed out loud in sarcastic anger.

"Aww, look at its fluffy purple tail and mane. It's so~~ cute." Cubot hovered towards the violet pony.

"I've never known horses to wear hats or have a picture of a screw and baseball on its rear?" Orbot scratched his robotic head.

The violet equine rubbed its eyes with its hoof but not before yawning as if it were asleep all this time. Eggman took another step towards the pony only to get its attention quickly with an exclamation mark popping above its head. Eggman's jaw dropped to the floor as he saw the mark. He turned round towards the two robots behind to see them pointing above him. He went to scratch his head only to feel fur. The violet pony's neck stretched till it was in front of Eggman's face upside down. Eggman saw the pony's swirling violet eyes trying his hardest not to shout in anger. He then proceeded by quickly raising both his hands onto his forehead only to slam himself into the ground by the force. Eggman had a hurt expression on him as he sat up rubbing his face.

"Aww, why did they have to move...Where did it go?!" Eggman shot back up scouring the room with the searching Eggpawns. They searched high and low with no prevail. Eggman growled with his head smoking like a kettle only to freeze when they heard sparks from behind one of the Eggpawns in the corner. The three slowly leaned round the curvy robot to see the back end of the violet pony with the robots cover wide open. Eggman looked to the two behind him with a shocked expression before a massive electrical surge came from the robot. The violet pony's back end raised to the sky with a massive surge of electricity going through it before landing back to the ground.

"No one can survi-" Eggman froze mid chuckle as he saw the pony's head poke back out with a bunch of wires tied into the shape of a poodle in its mouth. Eggman's head soon became a red tomato when the pony dived into the robots hull with the cover closing behind it. Eggman threw the ceased Eggpawn to the floor creating a loud crash. He flipped open the cover only to see the wires missing with no pony inside it. Eggman pulled his head inside to see nothing but an empty robot husk.

"Where in blue blazes did that horse go?" he said as he raised his head out of the cover scratching his head vigorously. The scientist felt a tap behind him to see one of the Eggpawns spaz here and there. Eggman watched the robot gitter as well throw his pike behind him piercing a fellow Eggpawn through the head making it explode suddenly. Eggman's straight face went blank as he stared at this Eggpawn. He watched as the Eggpawn's head fly off revealing the violet pony's head with a happy grin. The pony could move the robot like an exo-suit moving its arm to flick off Eggman's glasses revealing his black eyes with a single red pupil. The pony stuck out its tongue before blowing raspberries towards the bald fat man.

Eggman raised his hand ready to click his fingers with a straight face. The equine looked around to see these weird human-sized robots, almost like a droid out of a film she once saw, surround them with their wrist's raised towards them.

The equine smiled with the sound effect of a squee echo the room confusing Eggman. "Screwball!!" it screamed before the robot she was in blew up and shot her towards the ceiling. Eggman watched Screwball go through a metal sheet with the sound of pipes being hit.

"Find that horse now!!!" Eggman screamed as he walked towards the glass blast shield popping up a holographic monitor.

"It's part of the Equine race Master, and it looks more like a pony than a grown horse," Orbot said towards Eggman only for his eyes to stare him down making him, a robot, cower in fear.

"I don't care if its some kind of mutant, FIND THAT EQUINE!!!" Eggman raised his voice smashing his fist against the glass cracking it.

"You betcha boss!" Cubot answered, bringing up a map of the spire on the holographic screen. Eggman watched a white dot move rapidly around the holographic spire in a zig zag motion.

"They're in the kitchen sir, bringing up the live feed." Eggman stood watching with a serious concentration expression as a static feed came up on screen. It stayed on static for a minute before a clear wide view was shown introducing the kitchen. The kitchen displayed a fridge and cupboards in a row in the back with the fridge wide open with a green goo drooling from the shelf in the fridge. The cupboards were off their hinges with white flour hoof prints in the shape of Eggman's face with an unpleasant look. The floor was a metal graveyard with pots, pans, cutlery and food all over the place. The seats were an 80s style leather and design with springs and tears clearly showing. Eggman didn't look fazed by it, but Cubot and Orbot knew by he dark aura he was emitting. Eggman leaned forwards as he pressed another button next to the one that activates the machine.

"All available units please go to the kitchen for clean up and pest extermination. Also, bring me up one of those cakes with a cream filling that this world's creatures love so much." Eggman released the button but not before the pony's mouth sudden covered the screen. Eggman jumped from the sudden reaction of the pony. It looked like the violet pony tried to eat the camera as it tried to lick and chew the lens. The pony eventually moved away smacking its lips vigorously with its tongue out to its left side. Eggman sighed as the pony decided to wave towards the camera like it knew they could see them. The three watched as Eggpawns and Swatbots swarmed the room through the multiple entrances blasting off their wrist lasers and blasters. The camera was suddenly cut off as a red laser hit the screen making Eggman cover his face with his hand in disappointment.

"I should have upgraded their targeting matrix, their shooting like Stormtroopers." Eggman sighed as he pressed buttons bringing up the map again to see the pony moving around the spire once more with incredible speed. The blip on the screen stopped moving at the bottom of the spire indicating the pony must have halted in that room. The spire zoomed in to bring up three long generators showing him the pony was in he engine room. Before Eggman could speak the lights shut down covering the room in darkness apart from the light of the map.

"Master, engine one has shut down. And engine two is no longer on fire." Cubot said as he typed more on the buttons only to be cut short from the holographic spire suddenly shut down covering the whole room in complete darkness "A~nd the backup generator just went down as well."

"Activate the emergency red lighting and find me that damned equine...now," Eggman growled as he turned his head towards the two beside him. Cubot wasted no time in bringing out a paper map of the spire and compass out of nowhere placing it on top of the buttons. Cubot after a minute of scratching his flat chin pointed towards the room above them.

"How in blue blazes would they be abl-" Eggman was interrupted by a heavy sound above them. Eggman and Orbot looked towards Cubot in confusing as he wasn't the one to be right. Eggman quietly listened to the rustling noise moving around above his head in the ceiling.

After a careful consideration, Eggman screamed towards the ceiling "THEY'RE IN THE VENTS!!". Eggman pulled a laser blaster from his pocket and aimed it towards the ceiling before shooting madly towards it like a headless chicken. Orbot and Cubot took a step back to watch their master do a special dance after as he loses his temper.

"I wonder why we were created Cubot?" Orbot wondered as he watched Eggman shoot some more.

"I wonder why he didn't just check behind us?" Cubot pointed behind as he watched the red laser light show in front of him. Orbot looked over his shoulder to see the violet equine, who is red under the red light, munching on the popcorn and soda in its hoofs. Orbot couldn't process the way how the hoofs worked as it held a large soda cup in one hoof while a bag in the other.

"Should we tell him?" Orbot whispered as he moved towards Cubot to block out Eggman's view of the equine.

"Nah." The equine spoke revealing it was a female "Just let us enjoy his mad moment."

Eggman stopped shooting gasping for air from his little anger session. The lights flickered on revealing the now laser burned ceiling with oil dripping. Eggman dropped the laser weapon and proceeded to the holographic spire that suddenly appeared suddenly. An Eggpawn came through the door holding a serving silver plate with a dome over it. The Pawn rushed next to Eggman raising the plate to his height. Eggman snickered as the blip was in their room again.

"Emergency power plan Gamma was a most splendid idea #1985," Eggman said as he grabbed the handle.

Cubot and Orbot looked behind them to see the pony was gone from its spot making them worry about its next step.

"Using the Eggpawn's as an infinite energy source with them running on a treadmill was brilliant, hahaha." Eggman gloated as he raised the dome.

"Oh no." The duo spoke with worry as Eggman lifted the dome only to hear a massive chomp from the plate. Eggman turned his head quickly in surprise to see the violet equine eating a rather large cake with cream smeared around its mouth.

"My Twinkie!!" Eggman shouted in anger making the violet equine freeze mid-bite. The equine sarcastically started to chew with a big grin making the sound "squee" echo across the room. Eggman grits his teeth towards the equine who adorably made a puppy dog face offered the other half of the cake to him. Eggman reacted with a slight "aww." before slapping the cake out of its hoofs and grabbing its mane by the  neck. The equine didn't move or flinch only tried to put on an innocent girl face and pose as it was lifted into the air.

"I've seen that look to many times to care horsey," Eggman growled under his breath. The equine raised its right hoof in front of Eggman's nose and pressed gently on his nose saying "boop.". Eggman strolled out the room leaving Orbot and Cubot behind with their thoughts on what just happened.

"Where do you think he's taking her?" Cubot scratched his head in confusion looking towards the holographic screen only to see a poorly made, fat Eggman model appear on the screen.

"I would love to go the opposite way Cubot, but alas, we must follow blindly with them," Orbot replied flying out the door.

Cubot looked at the map once more to see the exact room they were in and followed suit "Thank goodness there's no words on that screen.".

(Few minutes later)

The equine was strapped down on top of a long operating table going "oooh." towards a large laser cutter above her. Eggman facepalmed as he witnessed the equine slide through the shackles prodding the barrel.

"I do say, this is rather odd watching master act like this. It adds, joy, to my circuits." Orbot said as he leaked oil from his right eye.

"Why don't you just shoot them now?" Cubot shrugged. Eggman wasted no time in pressing down on a blue button that opened up a  small slot on the operating table. The equine turned its head at the slot to notice a round metal ring fly towards her. The ring choked the pony into submission on the table, laying down staring towards the laser cutter.

"She's too dangerous to let loose on Mobius. I'm doing everyone a favour!" Eggman screamed in anger, turning a dial charging up the barrel of the cutter. Eggman watched the equine squirm in place trying to get loose from the collars grip. The laser charged up even further making a large light ball emit on the tip of the barrel as if it was about to shoot. Eggman stood by as the violet equine took in a deep breath. The equine screamed "DISCORD!!" with the result that shattered the glass between Eggman and her. Eggman put his finger in his ear clearing out the wax. The fat man took his glasses off as he witness a strange tear in the room while the cutter charges up. He rubbed his eyes as a Draconequus walked through the strange tear with his attention looking behind him.

"Where would she be?" The Draconequus said as he scratched his chin slowly. "ah!" The Draconequus suddenly jumped back from the sight of "Screwball, where have you been. Do you know how many worlds I had to go through to search for you?".

"Can we talk after, Discord. I really don't want a splitting image of me in two places." Screwball spoke in a serious tone as she tugged on the collar holding her down.

"What's better than one Screwball?" Discord chuckled as he leaned on the laser cutter "Two Screwball's!".

Screwball stared at Discord with a straight face while the laser fired below her body moving up slowly. Discord smiled for 10 seconds before grunting "Fine...". Discord clicked his fingers magically changing the laser to a water blaster. The pressure of the water made Screwball laugh as it tickled her in laughter as it went up her body and over her head soaking her. Discord clicked his finger once more making the collar disappear into thin air. Screwball jumped from the table to stretch.

"You're trouble... So who we blowing up this time!" Screwball jumped Discord's arms with an exciting smile.

"Hold it right there!!" Eggman shouted as he entered the room with three Eggpawns by his side. Discord looked at the fat man in front of him then towards the water blaster.

"I guess you're the one who tried to split this one in two? I mean, what were you thinking. One is enough, but two is signing the world's death note." Discord said whispered towards Eggman.

"I can hear you, you know?" Screwball raised an eyebrow at Discord who chuckled at her in response.

"How much damage did she cause while she was here, and for how long?" Discord put down Screwball patting her on the head.

Eggman stood there speechless as he saw his robots almost destroyed while later she ravaged through his food and shut down the power generators. Eggman shook his head with a groan knowing he was right somehow.

"Just get out of my base and take your pet with you."

"More like... Blood-related than a pet." Screwball's words made Eggman covered his face with his hand, shaking his head left and right.

"I left you a present of how sorry we are causing you so much hassle and grief. I hope you enjoy it." Discord bowed with one arm across his chest walking backwards into the portal with Screwball following suit, but with her tongue out sticking out as she pulled down her eye in cheekiness.

"I have a bad feeling about this..."

Discord and Screwball both landed on the station platform in Ponyville as they exited the portal. Discord snapped his fingers, closing the portal behind him with a sneering smile on him. Screwball sat next to Discord, displeasing her taste trying to get a piece of lettuce out of her teeth. They both stopped in their tracks as they looked out towards Ponyville. If it wasn't for the fact that they were the embodiment of chaos, the sight they are witnessing would seem completely wacky. They watched as copies of Discord and Princess Luna's run amok all over the small innocent town. Screwball's eyes scrolled to the sky to watch three Rainbow Dash's fly around in a cloud circle arena trying to see whose the fastest. While Discord turned his head to round towards the Apple Farm to notice it was upside down with a Luna standing on stop scolding a Snickering Discord. The two's eyes met again slowly trying not to laugh.

"I think they still haven't figured out the problem yet?" Discord snickered as he picked up Screwball on his shoulder before walking off through the chaos.

"Discord?..." Screwball asked, leaving a massive pause in between.

"What is it my sweet?"

"What's for lunch?"

Discord smiled with a happy intent towards the mare on his shoulder "Anything you want dear... Apart from cakes."

Eggman sat in his chair with his elbow resting on the arm with his head in head contemplating over what just happened a minute ago. He thought long and hard trying to find out what the horse's secret with teleporting like that into thin air, but came up short. Eggman started at a red button on the left of his chair, if he remembers, he never installed a button like that right next to him. In fact, it didn't appear in his never forgetful mind about a button being placed there. He reached out towards it slowly, trying not to think about anything else that has happened today. The bald man stopped above the button scratching his chin remembering Discord's words aloud in his head. He lowered his hand onto the button, only for a nothing to happen.

"Hmm?" Eggman hummed to himself as he watched the ocean view from his seat. He knew he could relax now-

"Self Destruct Sequence Initiated!"

Eggman's eye twitched as a countdown timer appeared on the ocean view from 10. The numbers ringed in his head as they counted down.  He stood there as the numbers went to five with explosions happening all over the spire. Eggman snapped in a burst of rage as there was enough time to say one sentence...

"CURSE THAT VIOLET EQUINE!!!"