The Little Foal That Wasn't There

by Lise

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Romance, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 7940

Twilight has been having difficulty sleeping. She wakes up frequently at night, struggles to remain awake at day, without the slightest idea why. The only thing she knows is that she has lost something, something dear to her.

Twilight has been having trouble sleeping. As Princess of Friendship, it is normal that she leads a busy life, but when she starts waking up at night for no apparent reason, things get serious. Although she insists she is fine, Twilight has also become prone to sudden bouts of sadness, almost as if something has been taken away from her.

And that isn't the only thing she has started experiencing...

NOTE! The poem referenced is Antigonish.
Not needed to understand the story, but I strongly recommend you check it out.

Written for the Weekly Prompt (Lost) of the Hazardous Writing Materials and Challenges group.

Published 2015-08-29 12:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-29 12:50:01 UTC

As I Gazed Into the Air...

As I gazed into the air, I saw a mare that wasn't there. She wasn't there again today. Oh how I wish she'd go and stay...

Twilight felt her head move forward on its own accord. Startled, she straightened up, eyes popping open. She was in the dining hall, a bowl of honey oats in front of her.

Great. Dozing off again She yawned looking at her food in near disgust. Right this instant, she was too tired to even bother stirring it, let alone eat.

“Is everything alright, Twilight?” A very concerned Spike approached. “I got this specially for you. I heard these oats are really really good...”

“I'm just not hungry, Spike,” she yawned again, then pushed the bowl away. “Didn't sleep well last night.”

“I noticed,” the dragon said, going to the fridge and taking out a large slice of watermelon. “I heard you at three, then again at five.”

“Well, it's been one of those nights...” Lately I've been having a lot of those. Maybe I should tone things down a bit. Tonight I'll go to sleep right after sunset!

“You've been having a lot of those lately,” the dragon placed the watermelon slice in front of her. Twilight to cringed. She really really didn't want to think about food right now. “Maybe you should, you know, go see a doctor or something?”

“Spike, please,” the alicorn stood up, leaving the food untouched. “I'm fine. A quick stroll will make me feel all better. You, enjoy yourself.”

“But...” Before the dragon could continue Twilight teleported herself outside. She wasn't in the mood for arguments. Not that she was upset, it was just the constant speaking that was getting on her nerves. Maybe I am a bit tired...she considered. And fatigue is a symptom of many conditions. No. I probably just need to reset my internal clock. I'm no filly anymore. Going to bed late and getting up early might be a bit too much.

There always was an excuse for it. Last week, the map had sent her and Applejack halfway across Equestria to deal with a problem of some urgency. Before that, there was some business in Canterlot, then catching up with Moondancer. Oh, and she couldn't forget her visit to the Crystal Empire, it being Shining's birthday. Time sure flies by...

Another yawn forced itself upon Twilight. Maybe she should just lie down somewhere and...

“Careful there, girl!” a raspy voice managed to bring Twilight back to reality. “You don't want to swallow all the clouds.”

“What?” Twilight shook her head violently, as if that would remove the sleepiness clinging to her.

“Your mighty yawn,” a rainbow-maned pegasus flew down from the sky. “For a moment, I thought it would be the end of Ponyville.” She started laughing.

“Very funny, Rainbow,” Twilight attempted to sigh, but the only thing she managed was yawn again. This time, she put a hoof in front of her mouth. What were we arguing about, again?

“Wow,” Rainbow's laughter suddenly stopped, replaced by concern. “Seriously, Twi, you don't look so good. Maybe you should… you know.”

“I'm fine!” Twilight snapped. “Seriously! What's with everypony! Just because I feel a little tired. You sleep all the time! Oh, and remember when Applejack...”

“Hay, I do!” Rainbow ruffled her feathers. “I sleep when I want to! A hundred and ten percent full of energy, all the time!”

“I know, Dash, I know,” Why am I having so much trouble keeping awake? Usually I'm ok by now. “Sorry. It was the snooze talking. I'm just a bit groggy...”

“That's what I've been trying to tell you! You've been like that for months!”

Months? That sounded a bit extreme. It certainly didn't feel that long. Nah, it was probably just Rainbow being silly. Although, maybe Twilight did need a little nap. There was nothing important to be done today, nothing that couldn't wait, at least. A few hours rest and everything would be fine.

“You know, you're right,” Twilight said. “Maybe I should take better care of myself...”

“Maybe?!” Rainbow Dash crossed her forehooves.

“...which is why I'll go to get a nice nap in the park right now,” the alicorn finished.

“Well, ok.” The pegasus wasn't convinced. Tilting her head slightly, she gave Twilight a warning look. “But I'll be watching you!”

“Fiiine,” Twilight sighed. Seriously! I'm a princess now! I could take a nap without having somepony check on me!

Less than twenty steps further exhaustion kicked in with a vengeance. Twilight didn't even make it to the park. Instead she lied on the first place that looked remotely sleepable, in this case a bench. For some reason it felt far more comfortable than she expected – surprisingly soft, fluffy even. Well something good was bound to happen today! she thought. Sadly, her luck was short lived. The moment she closed her eyes, she felt something tug her tail. Oh, for Celestia's sake! Her first reaction was to flap her tail. That had no effect. Gritting her teeth, Twilight tried to ignore it, in the hopes that whatever was doing this would go away.

“Wake up,” a tiny voice said, after which Twilight's tail was pulled harder. “I want to play.”

This is the last straw! Twilight turned around furiously. Still holding her tail in its mouth, was a young unicorn foal, no more than five years of age. Seeing her reaction, it quickly let go, a smile beaming on its face.

“You woke up!” the foal said with such joy that Twilight's anger instantly evaporated. “You woke up!You woke up!” it kept repeating, as it hopped about happily.

“So it seems,” the alicorn couldn't help but chuckle. You're lucky you are cute, you rascal. That's certainly not the way to wake up ponies. “And you seem overly energetic. Do you always wake up ponies like that when you want to play?”

The question caused the foal to look at the ground, ashamed. It was obvious he knew it was wrong, but had done it nonetheless. His parents definitely needed to do a better job if they didn't want him to grow up a spoilt brat. Come to think of it, where were his parents? They certainly were nowhere to be seen. If the foal was any indication, they had to be unicorns.

“Where are your parents, little one?” Twilight asked. White fur, lilac curly mane, she observed. A bit like Rarity. No, no way there could be a relation! Rarity would have mentioned if she had a younger brother. Then again, she didn't tell me about Sweetie Bell, until she came to visit. “Do they know you are here?”

“Uh?” the foal looked at her in surprise.

A sudden feeling of sadness overcame Twilight. What's going on? she blinked. Why do I feel like crying? Everything should be alright… Everything... Tears slowly trickled down her cheek, accompanied with a deep feeling of loss.

“Err...” The foal made a step back “I'll go look for dad,” it said then ran away.

“Wait!” Twilight shouted, bursting in tears “Don't go! Don't you...”

“Twilight!” a yell came from above. It was Rainbow Dash. “What's going on?”

Before Twilight could answer, the pegasus picked her up from the ground and started shaking her intensely. This was beyond weird, yet the only thing the alicorn could think about was Why do I have dirt in my wings?

“What happened? Why are you crying?” Rainbow sounded unusually worried.

“I have no idea.” Twilight brushed away the tears from her eyes. The sadness had gone, just as abruptly as it had come. Right now she only felt stupid. “You can let me go, now.”

“Oh, right,” Rainbow smiled sheepishly and released her grip. “So what was that about?”

“Probably a side effect from...” she paused. If I admit that I haven't been sleeping properly, I'll never hear the end of it. “From my lack of sleep yesterday night,” she quickly added, narrowing her eyes preemptively. “Sorry for the fright.”

“Nah, no biggie,” Rainbow waved a hoof. “If I don't keep an eye on you, egghead, who will?”

“Uh-huh,” Twilight crossed her forehooves. “Anyway, thanks for your help and all, but I really must be getting back to the castle.”

A wave of Dash witticisms quickly changed Twilight's mind. She might not have been able to get a nap, but she did feel much better. Obviously things weren't as alarming as everypony made them out to be. The remainder of the day was spent about Ponyville, something she rarely had a chance to do. Lunch at Sugarcube Corner together with her friends was always a treat. Pinkie Pie had perfected a new cake recipe she was all too eager to test, and while such events occasionally ended with a burned tongue, today's experiment was quite the success. For one thing, Twilight would never have thought of combining sugar hay with sour cream and rock salt. There might have been other ingredients as well, but valuing her sanity, Twilight hadn't inquired. The lunch was followed by a nice relaxing massage at the Spa, and lots of lots of gossip. Rarity certainly was in her element. Becoming a rising star in the fashion world hadn't slowed down her ability to hear things. In that regard she was second only to Pinkie, and far more understandable. Twilight couldn't follow a fifth of the things discussed, but enjoyed it nonetheless.

"That certainly was relaxing," she stretched her wings, once outside the Spa. "Maybe I should come here more often."

"You really should, darling," Rarity caught up to her. "With all the things I've been hearing about you, you must come here three times a week at least! And don't feel ashamed if you fall asleep during a massage. Aloe found it quite the compliment."

Twilight blushed slightly. That part wasn't planned, although it had done her a world of good, even if it only lasted half an hour.

"Well I suppose..." She stopped mid sentence. "It was Spike, wasn't it?" Her eyes narrowed. "What has been telling you about me? Oh, when I get back home..."

"Twilight, please! A lady, and princess, doesn't think ill of her friends. Besides, Spikey-Wikey isn't to blame. He's worried about you, as are we all."

"I know," Twilight sighed heavily. "It's just, you know how he tends to exaggerate! He's really blowing this out of proportion."

"Darling, and I ask this with all my love, have you even seen yourself lately? More often than not, you have been walking around half asleep. Once you even dozed off while I was taking measurements for your new dress. That, and going to bed at one in the morning, is by no means healthy for you or your appearance."

Twilight remained quiet. She couldn't dismiss Rarity's claims as easily as she had Spike's and Rainbow's. For one thing the unicorn was a workaholic, used to spend nights on end slaving over her latest fashion designs. If a pony like that said Twilight wasn't getting enough sleep, it had to be true... to some degree.

"Very well," Twilight said begrudgingly. "I will put some effort in restoring my sleep pattern."

"And?"

"And I will not get mad at Spike when he worries about me," she grumbled. "Regardless if he overreacts or not."

"There." Rarity smiled. "Doesn't that feel a lot better?"

"Not really," Twilight whispered under her breath. At times, you really act as if I'm just a big baby! Although... "Err, Rarity?"

The unicorn turned her head, looking at Twilight expectantly.

"Do you have any other siblings, or cousins, or such visiting Ponyville at the moment?"

"Siblings? Cousins?" Rarity blinked, surprised. "Are you sure you are feeling alright, darling? Maybe things were even worse than Spikey-Wikey described."

"No, it's fine, really!" The last thing I need now is for Rarity to start thinking there is something wrong with me! "I just saw a new foal in the park this morning, and thought he might be related to you in some way. He was a white unicorn with a slightly curly violet mane, so I thought I saw a resemblance."

"Oh," the unicorn relaxed a bit. So did Twilight. "Well, I can't say that there are. Not to my knowledge. He might possibly be some distant cousin, but I'll have to check to be sure."

"No, no mater," the alicorn shook her head. "It's not important. I just found it curious. And anyway I think it's time I went to bed. As you said - more sleep, better fur."

That wasn't remotely what Rarity had said, but the unicorn nodded. Obviously it was close enough. Must go to bed early tonight, Twilight thought. No more walking about the castle, no more reading books. Although, I might just finish another chapter on Zebra culture. Oh, and I need to send a letter to Princess Celestia. Apart from that, I'll go straight to bed!

The evening unfolded pretty much as Twilight had envisioned it. She started by writing a letter to Princess Celestia, omitting certain details, like her sleep problem. Then came a bit of light reading - no more than three chapters. It was supposed to be one, originally, but Zebra culture was so fascinating, that Twilight couldn't tear herself away from the book. Following that - a quick bite, an even quicker shower and off to bed she went.

Nothing to it! It's not even ten. Tomorrow I'll rise fresh as new!

Author's Note

This story is somewhat new territory for me, so any advice is welcome :)

Hope you enjoy!

I Saw a Foal That Wasn't There...

When I came this night at three, the mare was waiting there for me. But when she looked around the hall, she couldn't see me there at all...

An intense thirst woke Twilight up. Not again! She stirred in her bed. Even without opening her eyes, she could tell it was nowhere near morning. Turning to the other side she tried to go back to sleep. Too late. Despite her eyelids remaining shut, her brain was already awake, urging her to do something.

Just great! I go to bed early, and still manage to wake up after five hours! What am I supposed to do now? Reading was an option, as was night flying. Twilight had tried both without result. At most she would exhaust herself by breakfast. She could try casting a sleep spell on herself, but that was unhealthy, and also, from what she had read, could lead to aether addiction.

"Hello?" A voice startled Twilight, making her jump to her hooves. A few steps away, in front of an open window, stood the white and violet foal.

"What are you doing here?" whispered Twilight.

"Father said I had to apologize for this morning," the small unicorn said with such an innocent expression, that Twilight forgot she was worried or tired. She was still a bit angry, though.

"It's the middle of the night!" She rushed to the foal. "When I see your father, I'll give him a piece of my m..."

"Don't be mad at father!" The foal said sharply. "He just wants me to be nice."

"I'm sure he does, but no parent should let their child walk outside in the middle of the night," Twilight tried to explain, although she could see she wasn't getting through. "What about your mother? Did she have anything to say about this? I bet she's worried sick!"

"You're strange," the unicorn tilted its head sideways.

"Wha... What?" Twilight barely managed to say. You come here in the middle of the night, levitate into my room, and I am strange?

"Let's read some stories," the foal said happily, and to Twilight's amazement, levitated one of the books towards her. "This one seems nice." It smiled happily, then curled up next to Twilight's forehooves. Her initial urge was to move away. Having an unknown foal go to sleep against her hooves was new. Actually, not quite. The little guy reminded her of Spike, when he was just a baby. She used to try to read to him too. A pity that Twilight's own reading skills, at the time, were almost nonexistent.

"Alright." The alicorn smiled. "Just a few pages, but then I take you home."

"Uh-huh," came the quiet reply.

"Good!" She opened the book. Advanced Theory of Aether Distribution in Plants? He certainly has peculiar taste. "Are you sure you want this book?"

"Uh-huh."

"Absolutely sure?"

"Uh-huh."

"And you won't change your mind?"

"Uh-uh."

"Advanced Theory it is then," Twilight turned the page to chapter one. "Before I start, though, what is your name? I am Twilight, Twilight Sparkle."

"Fancy," the foal replied.

Typical Canterlot name. Also explains the behaviour. Maybe he's related to Fancy Pants? Twilight wondered. He's accent is different, but he does act like everything revolves around him. Tomorrow, I'll definitely have a talk with his parents! Sweet or not, Fancy is in trouble and half the fault lies in them!

"Alright, Fancy, here we go," she said and started reading. The subject matter was way beyond what any foal could understand, but for some reason I'd didn't seem to bother Fancy. In fact he seemed to enjoy it, almost as if she were reading him a bedtime story.

Poor thing, she thought. I'll let you stay tonight. You're exhausted, and no point waking your parents at this time, although I will have words with them! For now let's just read about aether dispersion, and leave the rest for tomorrow.

A chapter passed, then another, and another. Page by page, Twilight read on, until her eyelids betrayed her, closing shut. Maybe it was time for her to stop. It probably was really really late and they both needed their sleep. They could always continue after breakfast. A sharp smack on the muzzle made Twilight forget her thought. The next thing she knew she was staring at the floor.

What in Tartarus? she jumped to her hooves. The room was empty, be it messier than she remembered. Books surrounded her on all sides, piled in stacks or scattered about the floor. That was weird. Suppressing a yawn,Twilight glanced at a few titles. The subject varied - Geography, Equestrian History, Pre-Classical Mages, even Obscure Historical Figures.

"Spike," she called, rushing out in the hallway. "Spiiike!"

No response. The little guy must still be mad. Either that or he had gone to Ponyville to do some shopping. One could only hope. A trip to the kitchen and dining room revealed the dragon was nowhere to be found. Instead there was a note, carefully placed next to a tray of waffles.

Twi,

I need to take care of something in Canterlot. Didn't want to wake you up.

Here's breakfast, if you wake up before noon.

Be back tomorrow,

Spike

Canterlot business? Twilight didn't remember Princess Celestia saying anything of the sort. The again, maybe it was better this way. With the castle to herself she could yawn all she wanted and sleep whenever she wished, without having someone constantly worrying about her. Even better, she could finally rearrange her library, maybe even move a cabinet to her bedroom. Having stacks of books clutter the place was getting ridiculous.

Where did Fancy go? Twilight suddenly thought. She had totally forgotten about him! The colt wasn't there when she had woken up. Then again, she did sleep till noon. Any normal pony would have left. It was naive to think Fancy would wait for her to get up. That saddened her. Lately she had been giving more and more thought about having a foal of her own. The notion was absurd, of course. With everything going on, she didn't have time for dating, let alone forming a family. The most she could look forward to, in the foreseeable future, was becoming an aunt.

Twilight looked at the waffles again. They no longer seemed appetizing. Maybe another time, she thought and left the dining room. Right now she felt like a stroll.

It was fresh outside. The air was crisp, and the weather ponies had set things up for a light drizzle. Any other day Twilight would have used this as an excuse to go back and read a book or two. This time, she used it as an excuse not to.

"Yesterday upon the stair," she sang as she casually made her way towards Sugarcube Corner. "I saw a foal that wasn't there. He wasn't there again tonight. Oh how I wish he'd prove me right."

The streets were mostly empty. The larger part of the ponies obviously didn't want to get their manes wet. Their loss. All the more space for her.

It was no different at Sugarcube Corner. Twilight couldn't remember the last time the place was so deserted. Even the Cakes weren't there, just Pinkie Pie standing eagerly at the counter.

"Twilight!" the earth pony shouted joyfully the instant Twilight entered. "I'm so glad to see you! With all the rain no pony could come, and since I have to care of the bakery, while the Cakes are out with the twins, I can't leave, and since I can't leave and nopony could enter I couldn't be with them and they couldn't be with me, and I really wanted to..."

"Nice to see you too, Pinkie," Twilight chucked. "No Gummy to talk with today?"

"Oh he's rehearsing his lines for the theatre play," Pinkie waved a hoof. "You know how artists can get." Twilight didn't, but this was definitely not the time or place to disagree. "So what are you here for? Don't you usually spend this time snoring on the table at your castle?"

Spike, when you get home from Canterlot, I'll... "Well Spike has apparently gone to Canterlot for some reason," she said instead. "So I thought..."

"That you'll have lunch here?" Pinkie finished the sentence. "Don't worry, I'm on it!" She put on her serious expression, then before Twilight could say add another word, dashed into the kitchen.

"...sure," the alicorn added on the off chance that Pinkie could hear her. "I'll definitely have lunch here. Not like I have anything else to do."

"Can I eat something as well?" A voice asked behind her.

"Fancy?" Twilight turned around briskly. Surely enough the foal was there, his mane all wet. "You are soaking wet!" She summoned a towel and levitated it only him.

"Hey!" The foal protested, trying to move away. Twilight, however, was having none of that. Casting a second spell, she levitated Fancy into the air, why proceeding to rub his mane dry with the towel.

"Honestly! What were your parents thinking? Walking alone at night, trotting in the rain... I'm definitely having a word with them!"

"I'm dry, I'm dry!" Fancy continued kicking in the air, while attempting to use a levitation spell of his own to move the towel away. Sadly, his magic was no match to that of a determined alicorn princess. A few testing minutes later and he was bone dry, and seated at a table opposite Twilight.

"Can you bring some ice cream sandwiches, Pinkie?" Twilight shouted. The sound of falling pots in the kitchen, accompanied by the loudest gasp ever, indicated that her request was noted. "You'll like this," she said to Fancy. "Nothing beats Pinkie's ice cream."

Fancy continued to sulk. At the mention of ice cream, however, his ears flicked. Now I know your weakness! Twilight smiled, pleased with herself.

"You know, you shouldn't have just left this morning," she said, trying to sound as warm as possible. "You could have woken me up."

"I had go see father," the foal replied. "And he said he's sorry."

"Well, I'll still need to talk to him."

"Here come the icewiches!" Pinkie burst into the room, carrying a platter as large as herself. "I wasn't sure what flavor you liked, so I made everything I could think of." She placed the platter on the table. "One of them is wasabi," she added in semi whisper. "I just forgot which one."

"Err thanks, I guess?" Twilight blinked then glanced at the neatly arranged ice cream treats. They all looked extremely appetizing - a thick layer of ice cream between two thin layers of biscuit. A shame that Pinkie had a tendency of adding a "special surprise" to most of her creations. Then again, she was Pinkie Pie.

"And now I'll leave you to enjoy!" The earth pony smiled, hopping towards the kitchen. "Nighty night!" She shouted before disappearing.

"That lady is weird," Fancy concluded.

"Couldn't have said it better myself," Twilight nodded.

The first sandwich sampled turned out safe, so Twilight levitated it to Fancy. Initially, he demonstratively refused the offer, but after a few brief moments of self restraint, grabbed it with both hooves and took a bite.

"Well?" the alicorn asked with an expectant smile.

"It's ok, I guess," the foal looked to the side, still eating. "Father says I shouldn't eat this. He says I could get unwell."

"You can't eat sugar?" Twilight felt her heart skip. Instantly she levitated what was left of the pastry away. Oh dear, oh dear! Now I've made a mess of things! All the time complaining that his parents were neglecting him, and I never bothered to ask if it was ok to give him ice cream!

"Hey!" Fancy shouted as the treat floated away.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" Instincts were stronger than logic. Before Twilight could realize, she was hugging Fancy tightly with forehooves and wings. "Everything will be alright..."

"Aww, hey!" The foal made a weak attempt to break free. "Stop it, mom!"

"Mom?" Twilight froze. He called me 'mom'? Where did that come from?

"Err, Twilight?" a hoof tapped her on the wing. "Are you alright?"

"Just...just a little shocked," Twilight replied. "I wasn't expecting..."

"Because you are hugging a towel," Pinkie Pie said, behind her.

What?! Twilight thought and looked. It was true. There was nothing but a slightly damp towel in her forehooves, the same she had summoned moments ago. No sign of Fancy at all.

"But, he was..." She began, still refusing to believe what her eyes were telling her.

"Hey, don't worry about it," Pinkie Pie tried to cheer her up. "Happens to me all the time! Once I spent a whole night arguing with a bucket of turnips. I can't remember what the argument was about." She looked at the ceiling, pondering, hoof on chin. "Or who won. Guess it must have been me because I never loose an argument and if I loose an argument I start another argument and..."

"He was here!" Twilight shouted. "We talked about yesterday, I gave him ice cream... He called me mom!" Why am I shouting? Why doesn't anything make sense? Why do I feel so sad?

"Err, no, you were alone all the time," Pinkie looked at her, confused. "You sat at the table, then dozed off. Oh, oh and you were talking in your sleep too. You know, you're the second pony I've seen sleep eating, though definitely the first to order while asleep. You know what? We should have a party to..."

"Sorry, Pinkie, I'm not in the mood," Twilight cut her short and abruptly teleported outside Sugarcube Corners. The drizzle had turned into rain, but she could barely register it. There was so much going on in her mind right now. Nothing made sense, as if her world was falling apart.

Twilight wandered aimlessly under the rain. She had no idea where she was going. It didn't matter. All she knew was she had to keep walking. After a while she reached a bench - the same she had met Fancy for the first time. For several minutes she just stood there, hesitating what to do next. Finally she sat down. The cold wet surface made her shiver.

"Why?" she whispered, hoping that Fancy would appear from somewhere and explain. No such luck. The logical part of her brain explained that all her experiences had been nothing more than a series of hallucinations caused by a lack of sleep. The emotional part, however, couldn't settle for that. She had liked talking with Fancy. For some unexplained reason she felt close to him. It was as if she were his mother.

Why, Luna? If it were a dream, why did it have to be so real? Twilight closed her eyes. I would rather face a thousand nightmares, than lose this dream. Had she lost it? There always was the chance that the foal would appear next time she went to sleep. If so, though, why was something telling her she had lost him forever?

"I guess I better go home now, Fancy," Twilight said to the empty bench. "It's getting cold and I..." She grit her teeth. "... I don't want to be a bad example."

Slowly the alicorn stood up and started walking to her castle. The sensation of loss clung to her like a sticky cloud. The walk became a trot, then a canter and finally a gallop.

"As I ran throughout the rain," Twilight spit out the words, as if that would help her forget. "I met a foal that never came..."

Running was too slow. The rain was too forgiving. Focusing all her energy on her horn, Twilight teleported, then again and again. Dozens of teleportation spells, each changing the world around her, until at the end her surroundings became the cold marble walls of the castle. She was alone. Nopony could see her now, nopony could witness the breakdown of a princess. And so she started crying, the quiet bitter crying that came from the core.

"Mommy," a frightened voice suddenly said. It felt like time had frozen. Twilight briskly turned around, half fearing that her mind was playing tricks on her.

Fancy was just standing there, his mane dry and tidy, as it had been at their first meeting.

"Don't be sad," he said said softly. "I didn't want to upset you..."

"I'm not upset," Twilight managed a smile through the tears. "It's just... I don't know what's happening," she shut her eyes, scared to move, less the foal disappears again. "Why am I acting like this? You are just a figment of imagination." She tried to convince herself. "Just a dream."

"Father says he loves you," the foal said. Twilight felt her heart shatter. That was it! That was the source of her pain - something she had forgotten, but still resonated in her.

"I have to go now." Fancy stepped forward.

"No! Don't go!" Twilight shouted. "Don't you leave me!"

"I can't stay here long," he shook his head. "Look under your bed. That's what father said. Bye, mommy."

A blink of the eye later he was gone, leaving Twilight to stare at a empty hall. Now she truly was alone...

It Wasn't There Again Today...

Go away, go away, come back to me some more! Go away, go away, don't stand there at the door!

Twilight continued to stare at the bed. For hours she contemplated whether to look under it or not. Part of her insisted that she seek out the truth, another pleaded that she did not. There was no telling what was real anymore. Why couldn't Spike be here? Or maybe it's better he isn't. I am supposed to be the reliable one, the mare with the answers. Yet what happens when I have questions? Oh, Celestia, why can't you be here, your student could really use your help.

A magic aura surrounded Twilight's horn. I hope I don't regret this The alicorn took a deep breath and levitated the bed to the side. A single small diary was underneath, its purple cover reminding Twilight of one she had long ago as a filly. 'Lost Dream' was written on the cover in elegant purple letters.

This is mine, Twilight thought, as she levitated it to her. It's mine and I can't remember it. Carefully she took it with her hooves. It appeared brand new - the cover was clean, the edges crisp. She must have bought it no more than a month ago. Why couldn't she remember though? And why was "dream" singular? Twilight knew herself well enough to be sure she would never make such a mistake, no matter how exhausted.

Well, there was only one way to find out. She opened the diary and started reading.

Dream 5

I feel stupid. This is the first time I listen to a dream. Still, a promise is a promise. Maybe if I humor it, things will become clear. In any event, I will start writing everything experienced down. That way, I can gather enough information to make sense of it all.

It has been five nights since I've been having the same dream. Actually, that's not right. I've been having different dreams with the same element - a white stallion. My memories are a bit hazy, but I think the first time I saw him was in the Canterlot library, or maybe the Golden Oak. He approached me casually, maybe even gave me a book, and whispered "this is not a dream". I remember looking at him with a slight smile and whispering back "then it should be". Thank Celestia it was a dream. I cringe to think if I had said something so stupid while awake. Still, I remember it having an effect on him.

Twilight closed the diary. All this was so disturbing. She knew the words were hers, she could feel them as she read. But why couldn't she remember a thing? The alicorn prided herself in remembering all her dreams, even nightmares she had as a filly. At least, until now.

"It's just a diary," she said out loud. "It can't..." Hesitation. "It can't harm me."

Dream 8

He finally told me his name last night - Ikelos. And despite every precaution I tried to take, I find myself more and more attr close to him. It is natural, of course. He is my dream, and dreams are an expression of our desires, my desires. To find somepony, to get married, to start a family - all things I might never get to experience. As I look at the princesses, the more I think it might be my fate to remain alone. Neither Celestia nor Luna have families, and they have been around for thousands of years. Maybe I'll turn out like Cadence? I can only hope.

I'm still not sure what I am to do about this. It has been over a week, and I am no longer sure how healthy it is. So far, I feel normal when I wake up. My worry is, that each day I yearn more and more to return to my dreams. It would be best to discuss the matter with Princess Luna. Maybe just one more night, though.

The sharp feeling of sadness pierced Twilight again. This was a good time to stop. She had learned all she needed to. Fancy's father was called Ikelos. Apparently they had shared some interesting experiences in her dreams. No need to read on... She flipped another set of pages.

Dream 13

Ikelos took me to the seaside again. It was the place we got married, only this time it was night. After all this time he had gotten to know me quite well. A pity I couldn't say the same about him. As much as I tried, I haven't been able to find anything remotely useful. By all accounts he should be nothing more than a dream of mine, yet I see him as much more. We might have been together for two weeks by Equestrian standards, but in the dream world we had spent years with one another. And there is one thing I know for sure - Ikelos isn't part of my my subconscious. He has already mentioned that he could visit other's dreams, but could he really? Despite my scientific curiosity, I don't dare ask him. The thought of losing him is too much to bear.

Tonight, I also did something stupid. I asked what he thought about having foals. It was a stupid, selfish fancy of mine, but I couldn't help myself. He is so perfect, if we have foals, they would be perfect as well. The question seemed to upset him. He pretended everything was fine, of course, but I knew to know it wasn't. Whenever his mane changes colour it means something is troubling him. It would be best if I put the matter to rest for a while. After all, we have all the time in the world.

Teardrops fell on the page. She was getting to the core of her pain. Already she knew what the next pages would hold. However, that was not enough. She wanted to read it, to experience it once more.

Dream 21

We got into a fight last night. Ikelos continued to bring up the topic of children. I know how much I wanted them a while back, but once he told of the consequences, I can't bear it! The bad thing is that I have become an open book to him. He knows perfectly well how much I want a foal of my own, and so he persists.

I feel like I'm given an impossible choice - either give up on having a foal, or lose the love of my life. There is no other way. I promised I would think about it later, but he saw it was a lie. Before I could try to reason with him, he changed the weather into a storm, and kicked me out of my own dream. This is the first time he has ever done that. Apparently I have a choice to make.

I am scared.

Twilight was breathing heavily. One more page to go. Everything after was blank. Did she have to, though?

"Damn you, Ikelos!" She whispered bitterly. "Couldn't you leave things as they were?"

Dream 22

This will be my final entry. We discussed things with Ikelos and came to a decision. He would do the necessary for us me to have a foal, although it meant he would disappear forever. I am not pleased with this, but I let him convince me it's what I want. After all this time I still can't tell if he really sees my deep desires, or is only guessing. He believes it will make me happy, and is stubborn enough to get what he wants.

Tomorrow night will be our last together. I have no idea what will follow after that. Maybe I'll be happy, maybe not so much. In any event it will take time. Ikelos did promise me one thing, however. After tomorrow night, he will take all my memories of our time together and lock them in the dream world. That way, when I wake I will be spared the sorrow. Now I understand why dreams and ponies should never be together. I'd like to write I have no regrets, but I can't. There's no way of knowing.

I guess, this is goodbye. Goodbye to Ikelos, and to the Twilight that spent seven beautiful years married to the best stallion a mare could hope for.

The diary fell from Twilight's hooves onto the floor. He was gone. He had left her forever.

"Why did you have to love me so much, you stupid dream?" she asked, smiling through her tears. "Why did you have to be so cruel to give me such a choice? As if stealing a few memories could make me forget?"

Twilight was mad at him, absolutely furious. She was also just as thankful. Ikelos had sacrificed his life giving spark to grant her Fancy - their very own foal. And, unlike his father, he would be with her forever.

Oh, How I Wish That It Would Stay!

Last night, as I stood and stared, I saw my mom, who wasn't there. She won't be there again today. Oh, how I wish we both could play...

The breakfast was stale. Possibly it had something to do with it being prepared the previous morning. Twilight didn't complain. In her state of mind any food would probably taste bad. The important thing was for her to be nourished, and day-old waffles could achieve that just fine.

Not too long now, the alicorn thought. Soon Spike will be home and I could ask my questions. The scroll had been prepared and rolled diligently, waiting to be delivered. A second one might have to be sent to princess Celestia, but that would wait.

The sound of a door opening echoed throughout the empty corridors. Twilight took another nibble of the waffle then pushed it aside. Time to do what I should have done weeks ago. Taking a deep breath, then exhaling slowly, she left the dining room.

"Welcome back, Spi..." She began, but stopped midway. Her dragon assistant wasn't alone.

"Good morning, Twilight Sparkle," Princess Luna greeted her. "Mind if we join you?"

"Yes... I mean, of course, Princess," Twilight managed to say. What is she doing here? Not that there was anything to complain about. Actually the Princess of the Night was exactly the pony Twilight wanted to speak to. Her concern, rather, was directed towards someone else. "Spike?"

"I know, I know," the dragon sighed looking at the floor. "I should have mentioned it in my letter. But I was worried about you! You weren't eating, you weren't sleeping," he started to innumerate, "you walked about like a zombie pony, you talked to yourself..."

"Oh, Spike," Twilight offered a slight smile. "I know, and I thank you. I actually wanted to ask Princess Luna a few things."

"And now you shall," the dark alicorn nodded. "I too am interested to learn more of your condition, for I sense there is much you haven't told your friends."

The conversation continued in the library, it was the place Twilight felt most at ease. Also she didn't want to risk them finding about the diary. That remained personal.

As Spike and Luna sat at one of the tables, Twilight began her tale. She told them of her recurring dreams, of Ikelos - the stallion she had met in her sleep, of her insomnia and constant exhaustion, of the foal that called her "mom". Twilight talked and talked, uninterrupted, until there was nothing left to say. Then, once she was certain she had shared every detailed, except those she wished to keep private, she stopped.

Spike's eyes had become as large as saucers as he stared at her in disbelief. Can't blame you there, baby brother. If I were you, I wouldn't believe me either.

Luna, on the other hoof, seemed quite composed.

"I wish you had told me about this sooner," the Princess of the Night said. "If you had, you wouldn't have gone through all that pain. From what I see you have found out why dreams and ponies don't talk to one another. They might seem similar, but dream ponies are far more different than you could imagine."

"There are dream ponies?" Spike couldn't help himself.

"Yes, Spike," Luna nodded. "The dream world does not merely contain what we put in it. There are scores of beings there, some of them terrifying, others not. The dream ponies are but a small part of its native inhabitants. Usually it is rare for a dream pony to make itself known. Occasionally they pass through then move to the next. For Ikelos to have revealed himself to you, you must have wanted something quite a lot."

Twilight said nothing.

"Although, from what you told me it was worth it," Luna continued. "Tell me, what is your foal's name?"

"Fancy," Twilight smiled. "And yes, Princess, it was worth it." So very worth it, despite the pain. "Is there a way for me to see Ikelos again? I can't remember much, but I still miss him. I miss him a lot."

"Well, for that you might want to ask him," the Luna pointed across the table. There, one seat from Twilight, sat a foal, his violet mane moving slightly although the there was no wind.

"Fancy?!" Twilight couldn't believe it. "But I am not asleep... Am I asleep?" She looked at Luna.

"No, child, you are awake," Luna hid her smile behind a hoof. "Unlike his father, your child is not a pure dream. He might have been born in the dream world, but it was you who gave birth to him. As such he is part of both worlds - neither dream, nor pony, but also both."

"Hold on a moment!" Spike jumped on the floor. "You mean to tell me that Twilight has a child?!"

"Well it's hardly a surprise," Luna shrugged. "She has been married for over seven years."

"But that was a dream! And it can't..." The dragon was at a lack of words. "It's only been a few months since she began acting like this. And now, I'm an uncle?"

"Why do you think Twilight was waking up at all times of the night?" the Princess of the Night asked. "As part of both worlds, Fancy needed to play in Equestria as well. However, since he's so young he still can't cross to our world on his own. Twilight had to do that, even if she couldn't remember it. Each time woke without a reason, she was actually letting Fancy enter Equestria. From what I see, only recently has he managed to cross on his own. Isn't that right?"

"I'm getting better," Fancy said, tapping the table with his hoof.

"I'm sure you are," Twilight chucked. "Come here, you rascal," she opened her forehooves to hug him.

"Mom, please," the foal said in the most annoyed tone possible. "No hugging. It's embarrassing."

"I know," Twilight. Levitated him next to her, then placed a hoof on his mane. "And thank you for the gift you gave me. I... I liked it a lot."

"Dad said you would," Fancy said quietly, still slightly uncomfortable being in the presence of so many beings. "He also asked me to tell you he is sorry."

"It's alright." Twilight felt a sudden urge to cry again. Her pain was deep, and it would take time to heal completely. "Talking about your father, can I see him again?"

"No," Fancy shook his head. "He told me you might want to. He said I am him now, but I'm also part you... I didn't understand what he meant."

"I understand," the purple alicorn looked away. She didn't want her son to see her crying.

"Sometimes, when I think about it real hard, I can hear him. He tells me what to do, although it's really difficult for me to reach him."

"Don't you worry about that," Twilight hugged him tightly. "You have me now. I'm here for you. I'll take care of you and teach you everything you want to know."

"Really, mom?" The foal asked enthusiastically, forgetting the embarrassment of a public hug. "And I don't have to wake you up every time?"

"Well, maybe a bit at first," she ruffled his mane. "But I'll get used to it. And I won't be the only one. Once we finish breakfast I'll take you around Ponyville and have you meet all my friends. Actually," she looked at Spike, "we can start right now."

Gently she levitated the foal to floor, a step away from the dragon.

"Fancy," Twilight said warmly. "Meet your uncle Spike..."