Luna hiccupped faintly as she stared up at the moon, swaying slowly from side-to-side in time with a ditty she was humming to herself in a tuneless way. It was night, and the princess was staring up at what was her domain, her duty, and, for a very, very long time, her prison.
Barely two months had passed since she, sweet little Princess Luna, had tried to take over the entirety of Equestria and let her night reign eternal. It made the alicorn shudder to remember the things she had done, and the rationale of her own mind.
A thousand years on the moon. A millenium. And in all that time, she couldn’t bring herself to forgive her sister for what was a reasonable refusal. And yet, Celestia had been quite willing to forgive her the moment the shackles of Nightmare Moon had been broken. Had welcomed her back with open hooves, and was even pushing for her sister to raise the moon again.
Luna shuddered at the thought, staring up at the moon. She didn’t know if she had it in her any more to raise the moon. It she began to raise it again, it would be her moon, and her’s alone. And the jealousy that had twisted her into Nightmare Moon was lurking right behind that.
The dark Princess turned to the strange device sitting next to her, jostling it gently. It was a distilling machine she herself had invented, while under the dark influence of Nightmare Moon. It was based on the same magical principles that created the different colours of the rainbows at the Rainbow Factory, except, instead of sunlight, this device harvested moonlight.
A large array of mirrors sat atop a small funnel, each mirror directing and focusing the moonlight until it became a physical thing. Once that process was complete, it was passed through a filter to get out any dust that might have accumulated, and then boiled, evaporated, and finally condensed. The result of this product dripped slowly into a jar underneath it. It was a clear liquid, colourless and thin. When imbibed, it produced the most wonderful sensations of well-being. It was like drinking large amounts of cider, except with less horrid after-effects.
Luna reached down, and swapped out the jar of liquid she had been sipping at, for the quarter-full one that was sitting under the device. She swirled the liquid inside slightly, peering into the jar, and then humming happily as she tipped back the jar and sipped at the moonshine. It had a very strong taste, just like a rainbow. But this was all one flavour, instead of a mix of seven different very distinct tastes, and it was a lot smoother than rainbow liquid. Not to mention it was much less likely to make one throw up.
As she sipped at the strong liquid, Luna hummed a song she had heard what seemed a lifetime ago, before she had been sent to the moon.
“Ooh, eeh, ooh, ah-ah, ting, tang, walla-walla-bing-bang~” she hummed, and then hiccupped, losing her place in the song. It was apparently an old Zebra soothsayers chant. That was what she had been told, at least.
As she turned to look back over her distilling device with a fond glance, however, she caught a flash of white out of the corner of her eye. The dark alicorn groaned faintly, and turned her back resolutely.
“So this is where you are,” Celestia stated, coming to sit next to her sister. She bore it well, but Luna could tell that Celestia was tired. Raising the sun and moon every day and night was a very, very taxing task.
“We were just admiring the moon, and the stars,” Luna stated, as she took another sip of her drink shamelessly. “Many of our stars have drifted off course without us to tend to them. Why, we barely recognize the Hades Cluster.”
“I never was good with the small details,” Celestia admitted with a slight frown, turning to face her sister. “Tell me, Luna. When do you intend on taking back your duties as goddess of the night?”
Luna frowned at that, her ears splaying back against her skull and her tail giving a nervous little flick. “W-we do not think we are ready yet, Sister. We Require more time.”
Celestia frowned in return at that, shaking her head a moment. As she turned to look up at the stars as well, she caught her sister taking a long swig of the moonshine in her peripheral, and scowled slightly.
“You realise that that drink is bad for you?” Celestia asked, raising a brow in a patronising way.
Luna snorted in response, holding the jar to her chest protectively. “We do not believe it is, dearest sister. It makes us happy, and if it makes us happy, surely it could not be bad? It is mere logic, dearest sister.”
The white alicorn shook her head slowly at that. “Luna, you know what I mean.”
“We do not,” Luna rebuked, shaking her head. “And frankly we do not wish to know. This drink is our only vice.”
Celestia frowned deeply at that, looking her sister up and down.
Before she could say anything, Luna cut in, “Every night, thy cometh to us and claim that our drink is the work of darkness, when it is no worse than cider.”
The older alicorn looked at her sister for a long moment, and then sighed once. “You are very defensive tonight Luna, have you not had enough moonshine?”
Luna blinked once, her ears flattening and her head lowering slightly as she murmured. “W-we merely have been on edge.”
“I’ve noticed,” Celestia said tardily. “Especially so when you don’t have any moonshine.”
The dark alicorn recoiled at the accusation, her eyes narrowing. “We are not dependent on the drink for our happiness! Now kindly leave us!”
Celestia gave her sister a long look, watching as she lifted a hoof to resolutely point away, and the older sister sighed, shaking her head. “You must face your demons yourself, without a crutch, Luna. Sooner or later.”
Luna snorted angrily, and just glared at her sister until she was out of site.
Scowling, the dark princess turned back to her moon, and took another fortifying swig of the moonshine, tapping her device to make sure it was working. Her thoughts were dark as she stared up at the sky.
Her drink was not a crutch. Laughter and friends were not a crutch with which to lean on, were they? How was her drink any different? It made her happy. It made her forget. And right now, she needed to forget. Needed to forget Nightmare Moon. Needed to forget the looks of fear in the eyes of anypony who saw her...
Luna shuddered, and took another deep gulp of the moonshine, letting it wash her memories away.
Where was it?!
Luna rummaged about in the topmost room of her palace in a huff, seeking her distillation device. It was missing!
She had left it in the room overnight to garner her enough moonshine for the next day, and now it was gone.
“You won’t find it,” a resolute voice said from her doorway.
The dark princess rounded on her sister, eyes narrowing dangerously. Lightning crashed outside the window of the palace as Luna snarled, “What did thou do with our device?!”
Celestia stood firm, attempting to stare down her smaller sister, even though the Princess of the sun could sense Nightmare Moon lurking somewhere dangerously close to the surface of Luna’s personality. “I have taken it away from you, and put it in a place where you shall not find it.”
“Thou will give us our device!” Luna almost screeched, slamming her hoof into the ground hard enough that a long crack formed in the floor. A starburst of dislodged rubble scattered from the point where Luna’s hoof met the marble floor.
“I will do no such thing,” Celestia stated calmly, shaking her head. “I may seem harsh...but you must cease in your actions if you are to return to your duties.”
“We don’t want to return to our duties!” Luna replied instantly, waving a hoof at her sister impudently. “It is thee who wishes for us to return! We do not wish to raise the moon again!”
“It is your duty, sister. You must,” Celestia said with a sad shake of her head, “I only have your best interest in mind.”
“Like when thou sent us to the moon?!” Luna accused, her tone angry, stamping her hoof again with a resounding crack!
A long, long silence stretched between the two sisters, Celestia staring rather frigidly at the dark princess, and it slowly dawned on Luna exactly what she said.
“W-we mean tha-”
“No!” Celestia cut Luna off, her eyes narrowed, her tone laced with equal amounts of poison and hurt. “No. I will not hear it. Farewell, sister.”
And with that, Celestia turned, and left, slamming the door after herself so hard that the handle popped out of it and rolled across the floor.
Luna watched the doorknob bounce across the room, before she stared down at her hooves, her ears splayed backwards, cheeks flushed just a little, chagrined by her own behavior.
With a defeated sigh, the dark alicorn slipped over to her couch and reached between the cushions to the quarter-full bottle of moonshine resting there. She stared at the clear liquid for several long moments, chewing her bottom lip. There was just enough moonshine there to get her drunk. To get her tanked enough that she wouldn’t remember anything. It was the last of her supply, until she got her device back from Celestia.
Luna unscrewed the lid of the bottle, and inhaled the scent wafting off it, closing her eyes for a moment, and then tilting the bottle up to her muzzle.
She would worry about getting more tomorrow. For now, she could forget.
A very green Luna sat in front of Celestia’s throne, a hoof on her head, and a bucket in front of her, the bottom of the bucket filled with an off-colour swill that the dark princess had only recently retched into it.
Luna had been found at Sweet Apple Acres, throwing up violently outside one of the barns. Apparently, she had found an old barrel of cider and proceeded to attempt to get drunk from it, not realising that it had over-fermented and become unfit for consumption.
“Thou has to let us have it back,” Luna mumbled, in between heavy pants, resting her chin on the edge of the bucket. The smell coming from within was truly horrible, but Luna was past caring.
“We found you being ill, caused by drinking from a three-year-old barrel of abandoned cider, and you think I’ll give you back the thing that put you in this position?” Celestia asked, raising a brow, her expression patronising.
“W-we will just make another,” Luna admitted with a sad shake of her head. “It will merely take time.”
“Then why do you wish to have this one back so badly then, if you can just make another?” Celestia inquired, eyes narrowing.
Luna’s ears splayed backwards, and she stammered a moment, before shaking her head. “Thou has no right to keep it from us! We demand it!”
“Luna. You are my sister. I have a right to intervene when I see you hurting yourself, and that’s what I see when I watch you drink yourself into a coma-like state night after night,” Celestia stated harshly, staring down at her sister unsympathetically.
“Thou doesn’t understand,” Luna said, her tone desperate, her eyes sparkling as they began to water.
“Then explain it to me! You claim you need it, and all it does is keep you from your duties! Your entire life revolves around it now. You just drink, pass out, wake up, and start drinking again!” the light princess accused, stamping her hoof once in anger.
“It...It helps us...” Luna said, averting her gaze to stare at the floor, her ears splayed backwards fully, tears beginning to brim in her eyes. “We can’t function without it, sister. We can’t! Don’t make us face days without it...don’t...please, sister. Celestia. We beg of you...please...”
The dark alicorn pleaded with her sister, tears beginning to splash from her eyes as she crawled timidly towards the foot of the throne, staring up at the princess of the light with wide, teary eyes, literally begging.
Celestia stared down at her sister, and tried to harden her heart, to become immune to the hurting of her sibling. But she couldn’t.
The princess’s horn began to glow, and the spindly device floated down from the rafters to land gently in front of Luna hooves. Celestia stared at her sister for a long moment, and then shook her head sadly, whispering, “Luna...I’m sorry...”
“Th-thank thee, dearest sister!” Luna said, bouncing to her hooves immediately and capturing her device, hugging it to her chest as she leaned up to nuzzle Celestia’s cheek affectionately. “We will not forget this!”
Luna fairly bounced out of the palace with her glee, even her nausea forgotten in the face of getting her moonshine-making device back. Celestia watched her go sadly, hanging her head.
Celestia wasn’t sorry that she had taken the device in the first place.
She was sorry that she didn’t have the heart to keep it from Luna.
It was only three days later that Luna returned to her castle to find a rather surprising scene awaiting her.
Celestia was sprawled across her sisters bed, on her back, an empty bottle of moonshine resting on the covers next to her. The alicorn was obviously out of it, unconscious, snoring faintly. Her mane and tail were a mess, like she had ended up on the floor more than once.
“Sister!” Luna asked, bounding over to the bed to nudge the white alicorn with a concerned frown. “Sister!?”
“S’morning already?” Celestia asked groggily, lifting her head, her voice muffled by her inability to articulate properly.
“No...” Luna said, frowning deeply and kneeling at the edge of the bed, nudging her sister. “How much did thou drink?!”
“The entire bottle!” Celestia giggled happily, waving a hoof at her sister airily for a moment and rolling over to try and stand, managing a weak half-stand position before splaying on her stomach with a low groan.
“Does thou...feel okay?” Luna inquired, her ears splaying.
“I feel a little sick and the way your castle spins is really making me nauseous. Does your castle always spin? I’ve never seen it do it before...” Celestia groaned, laying a hoof over her eyes to try and block out the light.
Luna scowled faintly, her eyes narrowing. “Why did thou do this to thyself, sister?!”
“So you could see how much is sucks,” Celestia explained calmly, before covering her mouth with a hoof. “Oops...that was supposed to be a secret...but ugh...how could you do this to yourself every night?! I’ve done it once and I don’t like it!”
“W-we don’t enjoy being drunk,” Luna chided, frowning deeply, shaking her head gently.
“Then...but...Ugh.” Celestia groaned and rubbed her temple with her hoof for a moment. “Why would you get drunk if you don’t enjoy it?”
“Because...No. It is fine. We have our reasons,” Luna stated, shaking her head.
Celestia harrumphed, sitting up unsteadily, and then lifting a hoof to pull her sister's head around to face her, peering hazily into the dark alicorn's eyes.
“Luna. Look at me,” Celestia mumbled, blinking and rubbing her eyes with a hoof for a moment. “Look at me...are you looking at me?”
“We are looking at thou, yes,” Luna explained uncertainly.
Celestia nodded contentedly, her eyes narrowing, “Good. Now that you’re looking at me...uhm...where was I going with this...?”
The light alicorn trailed off for a moment, a look of confusion crossing her face, before she blinked and then looked serious again.
“Oh, right! I made myself like that for you, Luna. I got drunk and loopy and floppy and ugh...sat in your crazy spinning castle for you,” the princess stated, rubbing at her forehead for a moment, “So I deserve an explanation, don’t you agree?”
Luna shifted uncomfortably, pulling her chin from her sisters grip and turning to peer at the floor, lifting a hoof to nervously rub at her cheek for a moment. “W-well...we suppose that that is an accurate assessment...”
“Then praytell thou shouldest explain thy reasoning to your....their? Sister?” Celestia slurred, trying to imitate her sister’s mode of speaking and failing terribly.
“But...we are...ashamed...” Luna whispered, cowering slightly. “We don’t want to say...”
“Well tough,” Celestia stated, snorting once.
“V-very well...” Luna said, staring down at her hooves, mincing them side-to-side uncertainly. “We...we get drunk because of Nightmare Moon.”
“Moonshine keeps you from becoming Nightmare Moon?!” Celestia asked, her eyes widening.
“No! Thou has the wrong idea...” Luna rebuked, shaking her head. “We...we just want to forget the things that we did as Nightmare Moon.”
Celestia stared at her sister for a long, long moment, before she snorted again. “You’re embarrassed about what you did as Nightmare Moon? That’s it?!”
Luna shirked back slightly at her sisters tone, giving a helpless whine. “Thou doesn’t understand!”
“Oh no, I do understand!” Celestia said, sounding disgusted, shaking her head. “You’re embarrassed at what you did and you get drunk every night to try and forget.”
“No!” Luna spat, stamping her hoof on the floor again, while lightning flashed outside angrily. “Thou still does not understand. We remember what we did as Nightmare Moon. We remember what we felt when we did those things! We remember exulting in the pain of our subjects! We remember not caring about anything but ourselves! We remember believing the things we did were just and right! And we know that we are but a stones throw from believing the same things again! From becoming jealous and twisted and being Nightmare Moon again!”
The dark alicorn had risen to her hooves as she spoke, and lightning splashed against the walls of the castle almost constantly, punctuating her words with roaring thunderclaps.
Celestia could only stare, forced to listen until her sister ran out of steam.
“We remember everything. And most of all, we remember wanting to hurt our sister, whom we love dearly. We remember hating her. Remember wanting to hurt her, and the little eager thrill we got when we imagined our own sister in pain!” Luna snarled, stamping her hoof again, sending another jagged crack zig-zagging across the floor. “And we just want to forget. We don’t want to be Nightmare Moon any more! We are just evil.”
And with her final word, Luna turned away from her sister, produced a bottle of moonshine, and began to sullenly swig from it.
“I...I didn’t know it was so bad...” Celestia said gently, blinking rapidly and trying to focus through the haze of alcohol clouding her mind.
“You would have no way to know. We are a monster, Celestia. We do not deserve the moon. We failed it already. Entrusting us the moon again will merely bring about Nightmare Moon once more. We do not wish to spend another eternity alone, on the moon,” Luna stated, waving a hoof dismissively, and then taking another large gulp of moonshine.
“Luna...” Celestia started, stepped down from the bed and unsteadily making her way over to her sister, wrapping her hooves around her.
The dark alicorn protested at first, before she melted into her sisters embrace, beginning to sob softly.
“I-it’s like a nightmare...A nightmare that we can’t wake up from. And it’s worse because the nightmare is a product of our very own hooves. The horrible, selfish monster who reveled in the fantasies of causing pain to the person we love the most, was us. And the nightmare still resides in us. The nightmare is still us,” Luna said, distraught, squeezing Celestia tightly with her hooves, and then taking a shaky gulp of moonshine. “We need to forget. We let the moonshine chase away the nightmare.”
Celestia nodded gently, holding her sister against her side soothingly, nuzzling her cheek gently along the dark alicorns muzzle. “Luna...Luna...You aren’t Nightmare Moon. Nightmare Moon is gone. You are princess Luna now, my sister. And you wouldn’t ever harm me...I know that. You love me, as I love you. We are sisters.”
“B-but the propensity for Nightmare Moon is still in us...” Luna protested shaking her head. “You cannot doubt that.”
“In that case, I, too, have the propensity to become a nightmare. It is something we have to deal with, Luna,” Celestia soothed, gently nuzzling against the other alicorn.
“But thou did not become one!” Luna rebuked, shaking her head, pushing at her sister.
“I did not have Discord to nudge me over the line and into the realm of a nightmare,” Celestia explained with a smile, gently licking the bridge of Luna’s nose.
“That does not excuse our actions. We remember what it was like as Nightmare Moon...we remember exactly how it happened. We remember that it was logical. That we were just. How can we know that anything we do now is right? How do we know that any single action we take is the correct one if we could just be Nightmare Moon in waiting?” Luna asked helplessly, pleading with her sister for a reassuring answer.
Celestia looked down at her hooves thoughtfully for a long moment, before looking into her sisters eyes, and saying gently, “...Luna...We don’t.”
The dark alicorns ears splayed backwards at that, and she sniffled, tears starting to brim in her eyes again. “We will never raise the moon again. We will not risk hurting everyone we love again.”
“No, sister,” Celestia said, pulling Luna into a hug once more, gently working her hooves up and down in a soothing motion. “We don’t know if anything we do is right. There are no guarantees. But I trust you, Luna. I believe in you.”
“Thou would trust someone who became Nightmare Moon?” Luna asked, unconvinced, sniffling.
Celestia stared at her sister for a long moment, and then shook her head. “I trust you because you drink yourself into a stupor every night at the mere memory of Nightmare Moon. I trust you because I can see that it torments you to think that you could become Nightmare Moon again. And that, Luna, is the mark of a good pony. But most of all, I trust you, because you are my sister. I believe in you, Luna. I believe that you will make the right decisions.”
Luna stared at her sister as she spoke, feeling the tears still spilling down her cheeks as the very drunk sun princess spoke words of encouragement to her. Luna did not have the heart to respond though, and just gently leaned against her sister, wrapping her hooves around her to enjoy the simple reassuring warmth of her sisters embrace.
After several minutes, Celestia began to snore.
Luna gently disentangled herself from her snoring sister, and then carefully laid the larger alicorn out on her side in a more comfortable position, tenderly stroking a hoof through her sister’s mane. The dark alicorn mulled over her sister’s words as she moved over to the balcony, and stared out over the mountain range to where the sun was setting.
Looking back over her shoulder at the sleeping form of Celestia, Luna bit her bottom lip. Her gaze swapped to the bottle of moonshine she was unconsciously holding, suspended at head-height besides her. After several long moments of indecision, Luna took the bottle in her hoof, and lifted it to her muzzle, unstopping the top of it and sniffing at the mouth of the bottle, letting the heady scent of Moonshine invade her senses.
And then the dark alicorn leaned forwards and upended the bottle, beginning to pour the contents off the balcony and to the ground far below.
She couldn’t be drinking right now.
After all, she had a moon to raise.
