Author's Note

Self-explanatory.

Dear Diary, Today I Met: ... A Magical Pony Princess

Dear Diary,

You ever get that weird feeling, when you're alone, that someone could still walk in and see what you're doing at any given moment? It's been a decade since I moved out of my parents' place, and I still can't shake it. Especially not after a day like today, gosh. I'd ask where I should even begin, but the obvious answer is "at the start."

Well, Diary, brace yourself - because here goes.

I was in the shower this morning, when - yeah, yeah, laugh it up - when I heard someone walking around. Totally not creepy, especially 'cause I live alone and keep the doors locked, right? So I shut off the water and grabbed my towel and trusty toothbrush, ready to defend myself.

Hey, my toothbrush is the only hard object I keep in the bathroom, okay? I didn't exactly have a lot of options!

Anyway, without all the noise from the water, I could actually hear two people moving around! So when they started coming towards me, you can bet I locked that door in a hurry. Seriously, you could. You'd win maybe five cents because the odds are really, really good, but yeah. I was getting back behind the shower curtain to hide, because that works in every slasher movie ever, when the doorknob glowed yellow and the lock clicked open on its own! Then the door did, too.

I totally did not breathe in several flies while I stared! What's that supposed to mean, anyway?!

The intruder stood in the doorway, looking straight back at me. She was pale, tall, beautiful, regal - the epitome of good looks, and grace, and quiet dignity. Her long, perfectly-dyed pearlescent hair seemed almost to flow and ripple in the wind, even though there wasn't any inside my apartment (oh gosh, my landlord and I would have such a talk if there were). Also, she was a cartoon horse, and spoke Russian. At least, it was probably Russian, because I didn't understand any of it. Then again, with all my wet, messy hair, I looked like an alley cat who'd just lost a debate with a garden hose, and I sounded like a sputtering fish, so I guess I shouldn't complain.

Then her horn - yes she had a horn, and it was as long as my forearm, and yes that makes her a unicorn, but one step at a time, okay? So her horn got that same yellow glow, and she asked, "Can you hear me now?" I could totally hear her before, but that's probably not the point.

"Um, yes." Pop quiz: What do you tell a talking unicorn who appears in your apartment out of nowhere? Anything she wants to hear.

"Good!" she said. "I am Princess Celestia,