Carrying On

September 3rd

        The other ponies got it sorted out.  I’m not a friend anymore, I guess.  They’ve stopped talking to me entirely.  I’m starting to feel invisible here.  The teachers just see me as another student.  The administration sees me as just another reason to get money.  The other fillies and colts don’t even see me at all.  I found a new sort of satisfaction in playing my clarinet.  I don’t have to worry about anypony else, or what goes on around me.  It calms me down.  I’m still the first chair clarinet player in the band, of course, but that doesn’t really mean much.  I would be happy without it because I don’t think one’s position should dictate how good they can do in the real world.  I used to get jealousy and contempt from some of the other ponies who wanted my spot.  I don’t even get a sideways glance anymore.  What happened?  Life was good, and then Resonant and Golden left.  Once that happened, I became a nobody.  Did I even have any friends other than Rez and Spark?  Were the other colts and fillies just tolerating me because I was close to Rez and Spark?  Am I that bad?  Is there something about me that I’m doing wrong?  I don’t know.  I’ll see if I can fix things.  Talk to ponies.  Maybe I can figure out what the problem is.  I don’t want to change who I am.  Then again, I’m invisible, so changing myself wouldn’t mean anything.  No pony would notice it.

-Clear Note