The Most Painful Loss
The Most Wonderful/Tragic News...
Load Full StoryDiscord sat impatiently in the cold metal chair as he waited for his wife to return from the room. He had been waiting for quite some time now and felt like he was about to burst from the long wait. He was waiting to know if she was alright....him and Fluttershy had recently been trying hard for children...but no luck came their way.
They had tried over and over again but nothing seemed to happen. But one small miracle happened and Fluttershy soon found herself pregnant....although, things didn't go as expected...
Discord never thought about being a father, he was always too busy with his chaos and focused on fun that the thought never came to the Draconequus. But when he married Fluttershy, all those thoughts came to him suddenly when Fluttershy asked him a question on the couch one day after they had gone out for dinner and had some fun outside chasing each other around and having a mud fight. Discord never imagined Fluttershy being the one to start a mud fight, oh but it was so much fun.
They had went home and washed off before laying next to each other near the warm blazing fire place. Discord smiled down at his beautiful wife as she relaxed in his arms, curled up like a cat and a smile gracing her soft features. He leaned his head down and placed a gently and lingering kiss along her head and took in her sweet and fruity fragrance.
Fluttershy giggled and stirred from her half nap from his breath tickling her ear. Discord chuckled and gently nipped it as she looked up at him.
"What are you doing...." She asked him quietly, her eyes glowing and the fire dancing within their reflection.
He smirked and placed a loving kiss on her lips before leaning his head against her forehead. "Absolutely nothing my dear....just watching my sleeping beauty." He grinned at her blush and she turned her face away with a small giggle.
Discord continued to smirk at his wife until he noticed the frown on her face and he immediately felt concern.
"Darling? is everything alright?" He asked in a soft and deep voice as his claw rose to turn his wife's face back to him.
Fluttershy blushed and bit her lip as she wondered whether or not she should ask him or not. She felt embarrassed to ask him but she didn't know why it was so embarrassing. Ever since Fluttershy was a little filly she dreamed of growing up and getting married to a stallion and having children, and now that she was married to Discord, she realized how her dream was coming true, and her finale wish could come true as well.
After Fluttershy married Discord, the realization that she was finally married, and she had someone who she could make a family with. She had felt such happiness and love at the thought of having children with Discord, but the only thing that worried her was what Discord would think about having kids and making a family, so she had hesitated to ask him for the next few months of their marriage, thinking it best to wait a while before trying to take it even further as to not rush things.
"Um D-Discord...can I ask you something?" She asked while running circles in his brown fur.
"Anything my dear..." He shrugged and waited for her to ask but he noticed her hesitation and blush. "It's not that embarrassing is it?" He asked afterwards.
She looked up at him and shook her head before biting her lip again and frowning. "No it's not that......it's..it's just complicated..." She whispered softly, not being able to look in his eyes. Suddenly she felt doubt in her question and shook her head again. "You know what...it's nothing...never mind..."
Discord frowned before he stroked her cheek with his claw and gave a slight smile. "Fluttershy...go ahead ask me, I'm not gonna get angry...I promise." He encouraged before nuzzling her snout against his.
"It's...it's silly, I don't think you'll like it." She tried to dismiss again.
Discord chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Oh come on dear, you won't know if I like it if you don't tell me what it is."
Fluttershy took in a deep breath and opened her lips before closing then, a little worried whether to tell him or not. She could wait a little longer to ask him, but how long until she finally tells him? besides she's already got his attention and now would be a better time than ever to tell him what she wants.
"Discord...I have been thinking about this a long time....and I've been dreaming of it ever since I was a little filly..." She finally whispered to him as she felt courage to tell him.
"Yes?" He purred like a snake, tilting his ear towards her and waiting for her to finally say it. "It must be something big for you to be dreaming of it since you were little?"
Fluttershy swallowed and sat up before playing with the large pillow they laid on. "Discord....I wanted to....I...I want..." She groaned and covered her eyes in frustration. Just tell him Fluttershy! She accused to herself.
"Come one...almost there.." He continued to encourage her to say it, and finally she took in a large and deep breath before looking him in the eyes with determination and desperation.
"I...I want to have a foal..." She finally said loud and clear before she looked away at the fire, awaiting his reaction.
She started to get worried when he did say or do anything for the past three minutes and shut her eyes tightly and turned to look at him when she felt a sudden impact against her lips and strong arms grasp her tightly and pull her against his strong frame.
Discord sat up and held Fluttershy tightly in his grasp as he kissed her passionately before pulling away with a big grin on his face, surprising Fluttershy.
"Do you...do you really want to have a foal?" He asked, and couldn't help the excitement in his voice at the thought of having a baby.
Fluttershy felt herself smile brightly and she nodded before Discord laughed and suddenly and hugged her again, burying his claw into her mane.
"So um...i-is that a yes?" She asked with a small giggle.
Discord pulled away and it warmed Fluttershy's heart at how happy he was at the thought of having a foal.
"It's a most definite yes!" He grinned and kissed her again as Fluttershy smiled against him, relief filling her as she hugged him tightly as they kissed.
They had tried so many times, but nothing ever seemed to come up. After months of trying, they were on the verge of giving up, but one blessed morning, Fluttershy started showing signs of pregnancy of nausea and dizziness and there hopes began to rise. Just as they hoped, the doctor tested Fluttershy and it came out as positive.
Discord and Fluttershy could still remember the joy at finding out that they were finally gonna have a family together. Fluttershy dearly loved her husband, he was so excited and would often be stroking her stomach and talking to it. He was already calling it a boy to tease Fluttershy before she would wack him with her tail playfully.
Discord removed his hands from Fluttershy's eyes and she gasped at the sight before her. Discord had made another room in their cottage to make a nursery for their baby. He made the room half light pink and the other half a baby blue, since they didn't know what gender the foal would be and they wanted it to be a surprised.
There were pictures of little animals and words from the alphabet across the rooms walls, there was even a picture of her and her friends with Discord at the end. There was a pink and blue changing table that was a very...strange shape...well she didn't expect him to leave it all normal. It had lots of room to keep foal supplies and was already full of blanket, diapers, wipes, and ect. Then there was a play pen full of all sorts of large and small plush toys, as well as some plastic and wooden toys for the baby to play with.
"Oh Discord! this is so adorable!" Fluttershy awed the decor and toys in the room, flying over to the crib and stroking the mattress surface and sheets.
"Oh I know, I'm a natural aren't I?" Discord flattered himself while his chest filled with pride at his work.
Fluttershy smiled at him and giggled before picking up a plush toy of one of her friends and smiling at it. "This is perfect for the child Discord..." Fluttershy mumbled and felt tears of happiness fill her eyes. Discord smiled lovingly and walked over to her and rapped his arms gently around her before softly stroking her stomach that pooched out just barely.
"Our little foal will have plenty of places to play and have fun....." Discord whispered in his darling wife's ear before kissing her cheek and chuckling.
"Why did you make half of it blue and pink?" She softly asked as she glanced at the half pink and blue sheets of the crib.
Discord felt his heart squeeze and he smiled. "Well since we wanted to be surprised, I decided to make it like this till we find out....besides, who knows...maybe...maybe it could even be twins." He whispered and Fluttershy looked at him curiously.
"You really can't wait for the foal to come can't you?" She asked him with a smile.
Discord smiled lovingly and his eyes seemed to mist ever so slightly but he turned his head before she could see it and grasped her hoof before raising it to kiss it. "No......I've....I've always wanted to have a family but...I never believed it would ever happen..."
Fluttershy sighed happily and turned to kiss him. "Well you will soon......." She smiled against his lips and nuzzled him lovingly.
"Do you think....that...I'll make a good dad..." He questioned quietly to her to which she just smiled brighter.
"You'll make a wonderful father Discord.....I know you will...." She whispered hugging him.
"And you'll be a very hot mama..." Discord grinned causing her to slap his shoulder playfully making him chuckle.
Discord pulled away and looked down at her stomach and placed his claw over it and leaning his head against Fluttershy's. "My little one....our little one..."
Fluttershy felt a tear fall from her cheek as she placed her hoof over his claw and closed her eyes. "I love you Discord...."
"I love you too.....My dear, sweet, Fluttershy...."
Discord and Fluttershy felt so happy....they knew there would be troubles when the foal came, but they would face through it together and learn as time went on. What the couple didn't know....was that their tears of happiness were soon to turn into tears of sorrow...
Fluttershy suddenly gasped and pulled away from Discord as she felt a sudden pain in her abdomen and grasped it in pain, her face cringing and she started panting. Discord's eyes widened and he quickly held her up before she fell on the floors.
"F-fluttershy...what's wrong? what is it?" He asked, worry instantly filling him as his wife made another face that she was in pain and she whimpered.
"I...I don't know.....it's not time....it's not time...h-how-" She stopped and gasped again as a pain shot through her again and she grasped Discord for strength as she cried out.
"What's happening?" Discord asked himself, fear was gripping him and his heart was pounding against his chest frantically as his wife cried out in pain again.
"D-Discord...t-take me to the hospital....n....NOW!" She cried as she felt another pain and a tear slipped from her eyes.
"Alright, alright, just one moment..." He whispered and brushed her hair back before snapping his fingers, teleporting them to the hospital.
"What in the?! MR.Chaos? what are you doing here so late? we're about to close-" A clerk at the main room accused but Discord immediately interrupted her, his voice filled with worry.
"My wife is in pain....please help..." He said and the mares ears fell back and she started calling for someone before coming up to them.
"Does she have a condition?" The mare asked as she took Fluttershy from Discord as someone brought over something to put her on and started rolling her down the halls.
"No, she's only pregnant...we were just at home when she started going in pain... " He whispered as he watched his wife go away, groaning in pain, not wanting to leave her but the mare was holding him back.
"The mare felt her ears fall back and fear went across her eyes. "How far long is she?"
"Um...two months?" He replied, un able to think straight.
The mare bit her lip and looked back at the mare that was being pulled away before turning back and leading Discord to a chaiar before pushing him in it. "Please sir, sit her and we'll see what we can do for your wife." She said and Discord only nodded, not knowing how to respond.
The mare sighed and turned and ran as fast as she could to follow the mare and other nurses. Discord watched her disappear and ran a paw through his hair before leaning his elbows on his knees and resting his chin in his palms.
"Please let her be alright....." He whispered to himself, hating how clueless and helpless her felt at the moment, and wishing he had gone in there with her. But he knew he might just get in the way...
Discord's head perked up as he heard the door open. He had moved to sit in a chair closer to the room Fluttershy was in....and so far, he hadn't heard anything. He immediately stood up and flashed himself over to the mare and grabbed her shoulders, desperation clear in his eyes.
"Where's Fluttershy? is she alright? do you know what happened?!" He asked the mare and she only frowned at him and shook her head before shrugging his hands off her and grabbing his paw and leading him to go sit back down.
"Sir please relax...your wife is just fine." She whispered and Discord sighed in deep relief.
"Well that's a relief, can I go see her-"
"Wait a minute Mr.Chaos...I'm afraid...there's something else I need to tell you before you go in there." She softly demanded and gulped as she saw the confusion and slight worry in his eyes.
"Alright...what is it?" He asked quickly, wanting to leave the mare and see his wife.
She looked down and closed her eyes before taking a deep breath. "I'm afraid it concerns your child....." She said and Discord stopped breathing and his eyes widened.
What? wh-what could be wrong with the child? Discord questioned himself, a thousand thoughts going through his head.
"Mr. Chaos...I'm very sorry to say that your wife has had a miscarriage...from bacterial infection." The mare finally said, sadness and deep remorse for the parents.
Discord felt like he had been punch in the stomach and he felt something fill his being that made him feel like shouting. He opened his mouth and closed it several times before shaking his head, as if trying to wake up, believing this to be a bad dream. Discord didn't know much at all when it came to children, but out of his years of living, he had learned quite a few things....but he never imagined it happening to him...
The mare furrowed her eye brows at his silence and sighed before placing a hoof on his shoulder. "Mr. Chaos...I'm deeply sorry for your loss, your wife is gonna need you right now. I know this is going to be hard....but be strong..." She whispered before walking away from him and past the room his wife was in before halting.
"Your wife is waiting for you sir...go in when your ready...." She said before she continued walking away.
Discord didn't say anything, he sat there and looked to some unknown abyss. One by one, nurses and a couple doctors left a room, showing looks of sorrow and pity towards the draconequus as they left. Most ponies still didn't trust Discord, and believed he should have been kept under watch instead allowed to roam free around Ponyville. But as these ponies saw him now, all they felt was regret and pain for the master of chaos as he sat there.
After a few minutes past and no pony was in sight or around the halls, Discord glanced up at the doors and gulped as he finally stood up, slowly taking steps towards the doors, his breathing slightly shaking and he fought tears. He stopped when he was just inches in front of the door and placed his hands on it before closing his eye and pushing them open.
Discord entered, not looking up, but when he did, he felt his heart break all over again as he saw his wife. She was sitting up on one of the beds and her face was stained and streaked of tears, she spotted him and her eyes filled with more tears and she choked a sob before breaking apart and crying out. Discord quickly went over to her and rapped his arms around her, she clung to him in desperation and cried out in loud and painful sobs and whimpers against his fur, her tears wetting his chest, but he didn't care, he just held her tighter as he felt tears fill his eyes, reaching there breaking point as he held her tighter, unable to believe that what was happening was real, and hoping that this all was really just a bad dream...
"D-d-d-Discord!" Fluttershy choked, hiccuping and letting out small squeaks as she began to breath erratically.
Discord looked down and pulled her back, grasping her face and stroking her cheeks. "sh-sshhh.....sweetly calm down...it's...it's alright..." He whispered, his voice hoarse and cracking.
She pulled away and cried. "No it's not!...th-the baby....it's...it's..." She couldn't finish her sentence and her shoulders shook as she continued to cry.
Discord felt so clueless in what to do right now, he didn't know how to help his wife be strong if everything inside him was breaking apart. So he grasped whatever strength he had and grabbed Fluttershy and held her close to his heart as he picked her up and carried her around the room, petting her back and letting the tears fall. Fluttershy's cries were muffled against his fur as she let out her sorrow at losing her child, and so suddenly. Was it not one minute ago they were just basking in the happiness of finally having a child? Only for it to be thrown away the next?
They heard someone enter and Discord looked behind him and noticed a stallion holding a strange looking container. Fluttershy didn't seem to care as she held onto her husband. The stallion felt deep sadness for the two and seeing the mare crying hard on her husbands shoulder made it hard for him to hold onto his stallion pride.
"Mr.Chaos...Ms.Chaos...We thought you would want to goodbye to your child?" The doctor said and Discord eye brows furrowed at the doctor, but he was already filling with dread, but felt himself nodding anyways.
The doctor nodded back and placed the container on the counter and opened it before turning on a light over it. He turned away from it and bowed his head at the couple.
"The baby died three days ago-" The doctor said, causing Discord to flinch slightly.
"I shall leave you two alone now...." He said and after whispering over his shoulder heading out. "It's a girl..."
Discord starred at the container before pulling his wife back that seemed to have calmed down slightly and was resting against his chest, her body still shaking. Discord started walking towards the counter, each step becoming slower and he felt something telling him not to look, but he wanted say goodbye, and some part of was hoping to see the foal alive and to see it laughing and continued, even though it was just a fantasy.
Once he reached the counter he felt his breath hitch and his heart fully stop at the sight of the life less and tiny fur less pink creature that wouldn't have been his new daughter...and first child...
He found his paw reaching down and he gasped softly as it made contact with the cold filly....it was barely the size of one of his lion claws. He could see it's heart, it's brain through it's thin skin....it's heart wasn't beating...which made it hurt more. Fluttershy had looked down and was trying her best to relax and not break down again, but finding it extremely difficult. As gently and as softly as he could, picked up his daughter and brought it up to cradle in his palm.
"She would have been so beautiful...." He whispered, his barriers breaking and more tears fell from his eyes.
Fluttershy rose a shaky hoof to place it in Discord's palm, right next to their child. Fluttershy watched as Discord lowered his head and kissed the dead and cold filly, his tears falling down his chin and onto the child's skin. Fluttershy followed after Discord and kissed the baby, her tears bathing like her husbands as they said their goodbyes to the child they tried so hard to gain...
Discord held his arm over his wife as they starred down at the small gravestone. Fluttershy was silently crying and Discord was staying silent. Twilight and the others had felt grief for their friends tragic loss, and Twilight had offered to plan a small ceremony for them in honor of their lost filly. Discord and Fluttershy had hesitated but found it the best way to truly say goodbye.
Celestia had just heard of the news and volunteered to host the ceremony. She was friends with everyone and Discord, so she found it in her place to share the grief of her friends as well. Celestia lowered her ears and glanced at the couple who were feeling the most pain out of all of them. She didn't know how much pain they could be experiencing right now, but she had an idea that it hurt worse than anything she felt in the past.
Celestia nodded at Twilight who looked at her and took a deep breath. "We have gathered here to offer these two parents our strength and blessings towards their loss. We all share in their grief over their lost child, and hope that they find happiness and recover over this sorrowful day." Celestia started her voice calm and soothing to the sadness that radiated off the ponies around.
"We hope that this child that didn't get to see the light of day or the beauty of night, and experience the joy of life, will be at peace." Celestia then bowed her head and whispered ancient words before nodding again.
One by one, the mares came over to place their gifts to the child. Rarity placed beautiful red rose, followed by daisy's and other rare flowers from the others. Discord and Fluttershy watched as the others backed away from the grave and watched them. Discord sighed and walked along on all fours with his wife towards the grave.
Fluttershy sniffled and placed a glowing yellow sunflower along with the flowers, making them glow a beautiful aura. Discord stood there with his wife as their friends departed. Celestia walked over and hugged Discord tightly.
"I am so sorry my friend.....I hope someday you two will finally find happiness with a child." Celestia whispered, pulling Fluttershy in as well, surprising them slightly.
"Thank you....princess..." Fluttershy whispered as she hugged Celestia back.
Celestia smiled and looked at the grave before using her magic to bring forth a small charm. Half of it was a sun, and the other half the moon.
"Here is a gift to show my sorrow and grief for your lost little one." She whispered before placing the pendent on the stone. It glowed for a second as it latched itself onto the stone.
"Thank you..." Fluttershy said again and Celestia nodded before walking off and teleporting to Canterlot.
Discord sighed as he continued to stare at the grave, his paw reaching out and stroking the soil and stone. "Goodbye....." He whispered, a tear escaping his eye. Fluttershy held him tightly and repeated after him before they sat there alone.
Fluttershy sighed as she glanced at the opened door that lead to the room that once brought so much joy. It was so dark now, and everything seemed to feel gloomy and depressing. Discord had been silent for the rest of the day and left to the room to spend some time in solitude in the dark.
Fluttershy and Discord couldn't describe the pain they felt from losing their child, but they needed to be strong and learn to move on or they would never heal. Fluttershy took in a deep breath and pushed the door open completey, her eyes squinting in the darkness. She couldn't see him or hear him, but as her eyes adapted she could see him sitting on his haunches and stroking something.
She moved closer to her husband quietly, making sure not to make a sound and startle him. She suddenly halted when she heard something she never did come out of her husband. A strangled cry....
Fluttershy's ears fell back and she looked down, and fought the tears and forced herself to look back up at Discord. He looked absolutely motionless, except for the fact that his paw was stroking the contents of the crib. Fluttershy walked up to him and placed a hoof on his shoulder, but he didn't seem to register her presence.
"Discord......Discord?" She called his name softly, but he didn't respond.
Fluttershy could feel his body start to tremble and she saw something glisten in the small amount of light that came from outside of the room. A tear fell and she could see Discord gritting his teeth as he fought the emotions rolling though him.
"Discord....it's okay.....it's okay to cry...." She whispered, and her seemed to finally notice her and his eyes slowly looked toward her and the pain in them almost caused her to flinch.
He didn't say anything as he starred at her for what felt like hours when she hugged his side and stroked his mane, allowing her sorrows to fall from her eyes as she gently rocked him.
"It's okay to cry Discord...." She repeated and he choked out breath and his body seemed to shake more than it was before.
Discord then finally let it out, he had been trying to stay strong and hold on to his sorrows till they passed, but he couldn't control it any longer and all his pain and sorrow at losing his child came out. Long and painful whimpers came from Discord as tears fell uncontrollably from him and he began to sob.
He lowered his head and buried his claws and face into the sheets of the crib mattress as he cried out, his wife trying to comfort him but failing at trying to control her own cries. She couldn't cry right now, he had comforted her and held her during her sorrowful break down and now she had to be strong for him as he was through the day their child died. She wiped her tears took deep breaths as she continued to stroke her husbands back and rock him gently.
Discord finally let go and turned to his wife to crush her against him. He didn't know why it hurt so much, and he hated to show this weakness in front of his wife. Every morning since that day he would wake up hoping that it was all a nightmare, quickly checking his wife and feeling her stomach, but when he felt her...nothing was there and his heart broke all over again...
It was torture going through this every day, and they both wished it would end. They knew that time would heal, but they felt as if they never would. But they kept on hoping and praying that soon this sorrow would end....and someday they would be able to try again.
The End
Author's Note
So how did I do? Be honest and if I did bad please tell me and if you can give me tips on how to improve? is it over dramatic? did I go too far at some points? and also sorry if they seem a bit out of character...
PS: this one shot hasn't been edited so pointing out errors are welcome thank you! I might consider adding another chapter maybe if it is good...I'm scared lol!
