First Base awoke with a start as the sound of thuds came from his brother's room. He pulled himself out of his bed and began his walk out of his room and down the hall.
"What is he doing? He's lucky Mom and Dad work nights. I really don't think he wants to get yelled at any more than I do," he thought as he reached the door.
First Base turned the doorknob and looked inside, and what he saw, well, confused him.
In front of him was his brother, at the top of what appeared to be a pile of gutted appliances and technology that probably outlived their usefulness during the 90s. First Base didn't recognize any of the equipment that was in front of him, but he thinks he saw a microwave in there, along with a lot of antennae and what he thought was an early version of a satellite dish.
"Er, Flash," First Base said, "what exactly is all this? Is this a project for school?"
Flash jumped up a little. He had been so focused he had not even considered someone else was in the house. "Oh, hey little bro! Sorry, did that last attachment wake you?"
"Yeah. So what are you working on?"
Flash breathed a heavy sigh. He knew the day would come when he had to explain himself, but he was hoping he'd have had a few successful trips so he could fully showcase the importance of the trek he was about to embark upon.
"You know how I dated Sunset Shimmer all those months ago? I remember a couple guys at school hassled me when we first started dating, saying I 'stole their waifu,' you know?"
"Ok..." First Base said, not sure where this was going.
"And then when Twilight came here, I got all this anonymous hate mail in my inbox, calling me a waifu-stealer.
"What I never told anyone... was that hearing that... got me so hyped."
"Um..."
Flash continued. "You see, waifus are the scourge of the world. People making up imaginary wives and all that jazz. It's crazy! But it goes beyond that.
"Waifus are ruining the balance of our very existence."
"Wait, HUH? Flash, what are you even talking about? I'm still unsure about what you mean by a waifu." First Base was becoming concerned for his brother's sanity.
"It doesn't matter. All that does matter is that people imagining themselves married to people they aren't actually married to... it's creating realities I don't care to consider. The prime universes must be protected from these, these, fanfictions about life, both real and unreal.
"And for so long, there was nothing I could do about it. But then Twilight arrived through that portal. Initially, I had been nervous about the prospect it had created. I thought that our prime universe had been overtaken by an alternate one and that realities were breaking down all around me!"
"Flash, you're getting really sweaty and your left eye is twitching..."
"But then, as I was volunteering at the homeless shelter, a man talked some sense into me and inspired me to use that portal to jump start my way toward fixing everything.
"I'm telling you. It's a terrifying concept. I mean, waifus can be a serious problem. Maybe we're all doomed. If only I could fix it. I have a dream that I will be able to craft a world without waifus.
"DO IT!" the man sitting with Flash screamed. "Stop giving up!"
"What do you mean?"
"Don't let your dreams be dreams. Yesterday you said tomorrow so JUST. DO IT! MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE!"
Flash looked on with a look of realization. "You're right! I have all the tools I need right here."
"DO IT!"
"I have the portal and some technical know-how. But I don't know how to build a dimensional transporter."
"You should get to that point where anyone else would quit, but you're not gonna stop."
Flash nodded. "You are so right. I'll work as hard as I can. With you by my side, we can figure this out.
His new partner in crime cupped his hands around his belt loop and squatted in agreement.
"That man became my mentor on that day. And thanks to his guidance, I have done it. I have built my dimensional portal! Now I can head to universes all over existence. And stop... the waifu menace," Flash looked upon his brother proudly as he reached for the switch. "What I'm about to do, I do because of you, my brother. You and your future."
He pulled the lever, and the machine pulsated for a few seconds. Finally, the large area inside the dish in the center developed an ethereal light, and soon the entire space inside the area of the dish had become a dimensional gateway.
"Whoa! How is it doing that?!"
Flash looked upon the portal as well. "It's just like my mentor said it would be. How it works isn't important Firsty. All that matters is that I can now go to other dimensions. This old universal remote can send me wherever I need to go, and connect me back to the main portal when I need to get back.
"I shouldn't be gone more than a few hours. I want to test out a few random dimensions and begin my trek before heading back. The question is, where to? There are so many waifus... and so. Little. Time."
First Base finally got ahold of his thoughts. "Wait, wait, wait. So you mean to tell me that you, at the advice of a guy you met at a homeless shelter, built some kind of a hole in reality so you can... steal waifus?"
Flash sighed once more. "I don't expect you to understand the necessity of taking away the threat of people having waifus. All I ask is that you trust that I am doing this not because I'm an impressively attractive ladies' man, but because I want you to be able to live in a safe universe. Heck, safe multiverse."
"And how do you plan on, ahem, 'stealing the waifus?'"
"That part is simple," Flash began. "Once I integrate myself as a possible love interest for people's waifus, they will collectively lose it and seek other waifus. Little do they realize that by dividing up between a decreasing number of options, the Waifu Power gets less spread and easier for the universes to mitigate.
"I realize one man alone cannot steal all the waifus, but perhaps my actions will inspire more good people to join my cause."
First Base stood for a minute in awe of the sheer amount of confused nonsense that his brother just said. Clearly, he was convinced of his importance and would not be swayed. Sensing this, he said, "well, if you're really doing this, then you'll need something."
He ran down to his room and grabbed an old cassette tape. He ran back and handed it to Flash, who had gathered his supplies and was now waiting at the entrance.
"So what is it?" he asked.
"Play it."
Flash did as he was told, and he suddenly heard the sounds of an incredibly powerful song.
"This is great! What is it?"
First Base told him. "Something to play to announce your presence. Or victory. Either way, if you're going to be a space hero, you need a theme."
Flash smiled and ruffled his brother's hair. "This is perfect. Thank you. And I love the lyrics. I will save every one of us."
He turned to the portal entrance. "And I'm through waiting around in this world for a bunch of extra-dimensional trolls to ruin our lives! LOOK OUT WAIFUS! HERE COMES THE FLASH!"
And with that, he walked through the portal while somewhere, miles away, a man standing near the homeless shelter instinctively yelled, "DO IT!"
Author's Note
Yeah, I don't know how often this will be updated, but it's pretty much going to be my chance to just write freely and get the creative juices flowing. Hopefully you all will find some humor in this. I have my first couple worlds lined up, but feel free to come up with some!
