Still Waters and Manic Mane Wish They Could Teleport
"I wish I could teleport," Still Waters said, perhaps to himself and perhaps to the small unicorn sitting next to him. They sat under the shade of the large tree at the back of the yard as most other foals scaled the jungle gym, swooshed down the slide or chased after each other in games of tag.
"Are you sure about that?" said Still Waters' companion. The small unicorn, a foal by the name of Manic Mane, cocked his eyeglasses in an inquiring manner.
"Well, yeah. Of course I do," Still Waters responded. "I mean, teleporting seems so useful. You're in one place, then poof, you're in another. It's fast and painless."
"Fast I'll agree with," Manic Mane yielded. "Painless... not so sure." Still Waters gave a curious glance, encouraging Manic Mane to continue. "Well to start with, teleporting isn't simple to learn. I've asked Princess Twilight about it, and she said that of all her lessons under Princess Celestia, teleporting was one of the most difficult."
"Eh, how hard could it've been?" Still Waters dismissed. "I think I read the theory a while back, and it seems pretty straightforwards. You concentrate your magic, visualize the place you want to go, and then release it. Simple, no?"
"Mmm. The words you speak are correct, but their meaning is not," Manic Mane objected. "Think about quite what teleporting entails. The process basically involves using a process called quantum entanglement, which is some part of physics that I really don't want to get into because it's impossible for anypony to follow."
"I'm pretty sure if I could follow that sentence, I can follow your quantum entanglement speech," Still Waters said.
"Actually, you probably could," Manic Mane said. "But on the other hoof, it'd actually take a really long time to explain, and recess is only so long."
"But we manipulate Space. Look, I'm doing it right now," Still Waters said as he picked up a nearby ball and tossed it to the nearest foal. "If Space and Time are interconnected then couldn't manipulating Space allow us to manipulate time too and thus have enough time to talk about quantum teleportation?"
"Tangents, Waters, tangents," Manic Mane interjected. "Do you know how to manipulate time by manipulating space? No? While neither do I. Back to the actual topic though. Think about what teleporting actually entails. All these zillions of particles that make us up and somepony who teleports has to quantum entangle each one, and later un-entangle and reconstitute themselves, all only with the power of their mind. Forget even the mental strain of the process, think in terms of raw energy. It takes a lot of power simply to entangle and unentangle a single particle. Multiply that power a kajillion fold and you get the levels necessary for a single teleportation."
"But Princess Twilight teleported all the time," Still Waters said. "And that was before she became an alicorn."
"Yes. And that simply speaks to Princess Twilight's ability as an mage," Manic Mane said. "I too dream of teleporting one day, but it's a lot of work. Miss Twilight said that it took her almost half a year."
"But it's possible," Still Waters said. "And the very fact that it's possible in and of itself means that it'll be made easier in the future. All those researchers at Celestia's Royal Academy are working to build a better mousetrap. An automatic mousetrap, maybe, that carries out all the complex processes of trapping mice simply by starting the process, instead of needing manual intervention."
"Mmm. Well, partially due to your brilliant usage of metaphors, and partially due to the fact that you're right, I'll have to agree," Manic Mane yielded. "Consider this then. What happens if something goes wrong? Accidents in teleportation are brutal. I imagine they'd be, at least. I'm actually a little frightened of what would come up if I actually searched."
"OK. It'd be terrible to mess up a teleportation," Still Waters agreed. "But it'd also be terrible to mess up telekinesis. You're levitating over your favorite pen, and snap, you break it. You snag your homework the wrong way and rip, there goes two hours of work. You try to lift a kitten out of a tree and-"
"If I could stop you there please!" Manic Mane cried.
"Sorry," Still Waters apologized. "This sort of stuff makes you squeamish, I know. But I think my point still stands. There's a million things that could go wrong, and yet we use telekinesis on a daily basis. Why can't the same principles be applied to teleportation?"
"...Well, fair enough I suppose," Manic Mane yielded. "Well how about this then. What effect would teleporting have on you?"
"I think you're gonna have to be a bit more descriptive than that," Still Waters said.
"Point taken. So you can teleport. You can go anywhere in the world, presuming you know enough about that place that you can picture it in enough detail. But didn't our literary predecessors go on and on about how the real treasure is the journey, not the destination? How much more is gained when you trek through the Swamp of Desire to cross the Mystic Mountains and navigate the Jungle of Perplexity in an archetypal coming-of-age story as opposed to simply appearing where you want to? All those wonderful experiences that could've gone on to shape your life and personality, all missed. And another point- if you were to stop walking everywhere, you'd gain weight. Like, a lot. Physical exercise is important, Still Waters, and quite a bit of it is simply gained from the common practice of walking from place to place."
"Huh. Not much I can do to argue against that, I suppose," Still Waters admitted. "I mean, yeah, I suppose I could go on and on about the dangers of navigating the Jungle of Perplexity or how by teleporting you can avoid the cave in at the Mystic Mountains, and I suppose I could talk about how a bit of casual teleporting shouldn't have too many adverse effects on your physique, but I'm pretty sure those will just end up as shouting matches. How about this, then. Teleporting is convenient. The average pony spends almost an hour a day just commuting to and from work. In your lifetime, you might accumulate over a year's worth of minutes simply spent commuting. Teleportation can shave that year away, re-adding it to your cache of productive time."
"True enough," Manic Mane said. "But you also spend almost twenty-six accumulated years of your life asleep. You don't see us scrambling to put those years back into our productive time."
"Well, that's because sleep is important," Still Waters argued. "This is something on which we all agree. Commuting time is perhaps not as important."
"Alright then, let's leave that exact line of topic alone, shall we?" Manic Mane proposed. "I don't especially want to get into a debate over what is and is not important. Instead, allow me to propose this: when you teleport, it's not exactly you that's teleporting. Instead, you're being destroyed, and an exact replica of you is reassembled in your destination. In essence, you die and are reborn every time you teleport."
"...And?" Still Waters asked.
"And? And!? This raises all sorts of ethical dilemmas!" Manic Mane cried. "Is it moral to condone a practice where essentially you are killed and recreated time and time again. Is your teleported self, or the exact replica of you that takes over as your teleported self, still you? The philosophical implications are... are..."
"Of no particular importance," Still Waters finished. "No, that's being too harsh. Listen, Manic, despite any proverbs on the importance of questing, we live in a very destination-focused society. Back when it was first discovered that you could modify a creatures genetics with magic, there was an outcry from ethicists about whether or not it was a moral thing to do. There still are. And yet it's fallen into common practice among the medical and scientific community. I think that goes to show that on touchy moral subjects such as these, there are always going to be detractors, but in the end the process will come into use regardless. And what's more, it already has! Princess Twilight teleports. The royal sisters teleport. I'm sure there are a good number of high-level wizards out there who teleport, and to most of them I assume it to be nothing but another application of magic. Why shouldn't everyone else?"
"I don't think you had to phrase that so dismissively," Manic Mane objected. "Philosophy has its place in magic just as it has its place anywhere else. But on your other points, I believe I'll have to concede defeat. Besides, I'd much rather let as little philosophy into these conversations as possible. That's a can of worms I'd hate to open."
"Well, we'll see about that," Still Waters said. "There's only so much insight we can give from a purely factual standpoint."
"Bien dit," Manic Mane complemented.
"Merci," Still Waters replied.
"I hope," an authoritative voice said as a shadow fell over the two foals, "that you look forwards to speaking more Prench, young gentlecolts, because recess has been over for seven minutes and there's a large list of verbs on your desks that require conjugation." The two foals looked at each other, and then up at the frustrated face of Miss Cheerilee.
"Bet you wish you could teleport now," Still Waters whispered.
"Quiet you two," Miss Cheerilee admonished. "Come along now." She turned and strode back towards the schoolhouse, the foals reluctantly following behind her. "Honestly," she said to herself. "What could they've been talking about that kept them so distracted?"
Author's Note
This is my story. Anything expressed in here is my opinion. I might use it as a vehicle to talk about something I feel strongly about, or I might just let some cute foals babble. If I was inspired by something, I'll post a link in the Author's Notes. I hope that if you read this story, you're entertained, or at least learn something new.
Also, Quantum Entanglement, something I sort of just mentioned in passing, is actually quite cool. Look it up.
