The Adventures of the Illustrious Epiphany Q. : Who Framed Pinkie?

by VaniaSinclairSometimes

Rating: everyone
Tags:
Length: 1034

A young detective mare is bent upon figuring out this mystery of a death involving injections, balloons, and elements of harmony.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-05-29 05:31:27 UTC

What The...?

I woke up feeling groggy and uncomfortable. Irritated, I looked at my hotel room's nightstand and noticed a letter had been sent to my magic mailbox. It was from the Ponyville sheriff.

Epiphany Q: murder at pinkie's party. Idk, but I feel Pinkie Pie's the main suspect. I groaned. Ponyville? Of all places? I had just taken a train to New Appleloosa to visit my cousin, Ash Pitt. He worked in a coal mine, and was married with two kids. He's always hinting how I "need to find some time to settle down".

I packed my things and readied myself for the investigation to come. Ponyville has literally no crime. Unless there are problems concerning the Elements. But that hasn't happened for a while now...

" Oh, Epiphany, so glad you could get here as soon as you did," the sheriff said to me as we trotted over to the crime scene.

" Well, a murder in Ponyville is a pretty important case, if you ask me," I responded. " Any trace of magic being involved?"

" You mean, like changeling residue?" the sheriff asked. " Just the regular traces of magic let off by the victim. Sugar Plum, her name was. Great at making fruit tarts. So sad she had to go..." The sheriff had a faraway look in her eyes.  I tried to change the subject.

" My condolences. But, you mentioned fruit tarts? Was she, by any chance, a rival baker of Pinkie's?" I asked, writing down notes. Pinkie may be such a loving pony on the outside, but what really is going on in that crazy mare's mind?

" Why, Celestia, no! The two were the best of friends. Baking together for parties, swapping recipes, the two were right pals, at least in my perspective." I nodded, recording more information.

" Would I be able to check out the murder site?" I asked politely. The sheriff nodded, leading me to the scene of murder.

I crouched low, studying the ground by the punch table. I noticed a stain on the carpeted floor, and two others close by.

Blood stains. I wrote notes on this and began to ask the sheriff about any suspects or witnesses who could give any insight. She left and came back with Pinkie Pie, who was just her crazy, elated self.

" Hiya, Detective! How are you doing today in Ponyville?" the mare squealed. I smiled politely in return.

" Just fine, thank you. Would you mind if I asked you a few questions?" The bouncy pony shook her head furiously.

" Nope, nope, nopity-nope! I wouldn't mind at ALL!" I cleared my throat nervously, then began my interrogation.

" Okay,then...um...How long have you known Miss Sugar Plum?" Pinkie's smile sank to a sad, little pout.

" I've known her since she moved in at Ponyville. We were bestest friends. I miss her SOOO MUCH!!" Rivers of tears poured from her eyes as she wailed.

" Uh, Pinkie? You alright there?" I asked, already feeling a headache coming on. This was gonna be just a bit of a difficult interrogation.

"YUP!"Pinkie Pie's waterworks dried up in a second, a huge grin stretching her face.

"Then let us continue. Where were you the time Miss Plum was murdered?" Pinkie Pie thought a little before answering.

"OH, I was downstairs in my basement, preparing the special surprise for the adults at the party, if you know what I mean," she said with an extremely ostentatious wink.

"So, the alcoholic drinks?" I said, surprised that there was even alcohol at Pinkie's parties. Pinkie nodded.

" Yessiree! And when I came back, you know what I saw? The worst thing EVER!" She resumed crying again.

"Pinkie," I said softly. She continued blubbering.

"Pinkie....PINKIE!"Pinkie Pie stopped abruptly, completely caught off guard.

" Stay with me here, okay? Now, tell me, do you know anyone who had anything at all against Miss Plum?" Pinkie Pie cocked her head to the side, contemplating.

"Hmmm...Well, there was this one stallion who had a huuuuuuuge crush on Sugar. She shot him down, and he didn't take it so well....He was a scientist, or something."

" Do you know his name, location, what he looks like....Anything at all?" Pinkie Pie nodded.

"Oh yeah! His name is Cold Fusion, he lives currently in Manehattan, he's got this cutie mark of... I think, an atom, and he's really tall. Can't miss him!" I blinked,wholly shocked. I got a lead.

Case Closed?

After interviewing around three ponies, all who confirmed they hadn't seen Pinkie by the punch bowl, I made up my mind to consult the sheriff about my lead.

"Sheriff!" I called to her. She turned her head.

"Oh, Ms. Q, I was about to go find you,"she said, very upset.

"About the case--" I began.

"I know. You are such a great detective to have found out without forensics' help,"the sheriff cut in.

"What? No,I--" The sheriff smiled softly.

"Now, don't be modest. The forensic scientist found a few stray pink hairs and hoofprints belonging to a certain party pony. Congrats, Epiphany. We did it. Case closed." I froze, my brain taking in the information.Pinkie was the killer...

"So, you're going to arrest her?" The sheriff nodded.

"We'll take it from here. Thanks for all the help."

"Y-yeah. No problem," I said, still dumbstruck. There was no way Pinkie could murder someone for competition....right?

*            *           *

"Soooo.... Pinkie's DNA was found at the crime scene?"my friend, Gentle Storm said as he watched me use my unicorn horn to pack a bag.

"Uh-huh," I nodded, not looking up.

" And everything basically points to her being the murderer?"

"Yup."

"The poison was even found in her house?"

"Yessir."

" And yet, you're still going to Manhattan to follow this 'lead' that has already been proven incorrect?"

"Affirmative." Storm chuckled.

" I will never understand you." I zipped closed my suitcase and smiled at him.

" I'm not yours to understand," I said before preparing to leave my room. Gentle Storm followed me out.

"Promise me you'll be careful if this....idea turns out to be true, " he said seriously.

" Trust me, I will."