The Accidental Journey

by dimensional rift_13

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Slice of Life, Dark
Length: 5122

when a dimensional guard ends up in ponyville anything can happen

After a dimensional guard activates a device with infinite outcomes he now a 'she' finds that revenge loses purpose when you can't do anything about it
I would like to thank my editors. For their help or else this wouldn't be possible so here are their names: millardo5,Dreamseeker,Galesinger
Those editor really helped with this
Cover art from Nightglimmer22

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-01-08 01:30:45 UTC

An Unlucky Dice Roll

Damn this infinity-sided die! I mean, I know it has infinite outcomes, but did it have to be an interdimensional travel outcome? I mean seriously, I liked my old job as a guard, preventing people from rolling the exact same die I just rolled. Of course it’s only illegal in 57 dimensions. My jurisdiction only covers those dimensions and I was out of my jurisdiction when I rolled it. Dimensional travel is screwed up in that I can go to the same dimension, and each time I go, I go through three different dimensions.

Sure, if I get back to my job’s headquarters in a fifth rate dimension, to be exact dimension 48b, I can probably get away with it because I have an arrogant boss. I’ll explain to him that during my last mission I ran into an issue with the owner of the die in dimension 52d and we wrestled for the die and it rolled out of my hand. Luckily I grabbed the die before falling into this dimension. And when I say falling, I mean that I can feel the wind rushing in my hair above me, and my gut wrenching like I'm  about to throw up.

I’ll never get back to my job because it's been about five minutes and I'm still falling. By my count I've fallen 10 miles. Unless there is a lake under me and something breaks the surface tension, which has a very slim chance of occurring considering I don't know the world I'm in, I’m probably going to die. I don't dare open my eyes. I just hope I didn’t lose the die. Oh wait, who the fuck cares?

It's been at least 25 fucking minutes and I've fallen over 50 miles. I'm not going to live even if I land in water that has the surface tension broken. Wait, I'm slowing down. What's happening?  It has to be my imagination, but it feels so real. I mean I can feel something on my back moving, but I’ve never had wings ever in the 57 dimensions I've been to. When traveling through dimensions you generally turn into the species closest to your genetic composition. Even if this is real I'm not making it out of here without a broken leg, which I can deal with. Of course I could use the die and hope it doesn't come up with dangerous outcomes that equal death, or create a working dimensional portal I learned how to create awhile back.

My landing worked out better than expected. Nothing is broken and I’m still breathing. And yet another good fortune; there is a lake nearby.  Wait a minute, something's wrong. Why can't I walk on two legs? Oh shit, why are my feet hooves and what's with the black fur? Let's just get to the lake before I decide whether to commit suicide or not. Just when you think you already had enough ‘oh shit’ moments to at least last a day, you find out you're a black horse-like creature with a damn purple mane with a horn and wings, and not to mention the sex change. My wife is going to kill me for this and it's not even my fucking fault. Oh yeah, this officially is the worst day of my life. This is going to be a long day as I figure this out. I'm going to kill the bastard who created this die once I'm back in my own dimension. Let's just hope this planet has what I need to create a working dimensional portal. Seeing how there is what sounds like speaking to the north, I think I'll head that way and blend in with the civilians.

        Well let’s see, there are about fifty civilians just staring at me like I have six heads. Then I notice something: all of them either have a horn, wings, or neither but none have both so what does that make me with both? Please don't tell me I'm some kind of mutant! Lucky the die also allowed me to understand their language. Most didn't say anything useful considering the fact they were still in shock, but one shouted, ‘Get Twilight Sparkle.’

    Suddenly someone shot towards the other side of town. I allowed my gaze to wander to the town’s architecture, which revealed that all the houses were not very impressive. From where I was standing it seemed to be more like medieval era buildings. Considering I've been to 57 dimensions, that would make sense for why it wasn't to impressive.

       Turns out this Twilight Sparkle is just like me in both having a horn and wings apparently. We're called alicorns, a combination of the three species I saw when I walked into town. Which is useful information, considering the fact that I’m not sure how long it will take to find the materials for an inter-dimensional portal.

After a few minutes I got questioned about who I am and who my parents were and where they were, which I lied about except for my parents’ location. I told them my parents were dead. I also told them my name, which I based from the fact that every other being was named after something else.

I chose the name Dimensional Rift which, coupled with my parent's location, shocked the beings so much they began to catch flies till I simply just death glared the whole crowd. This caused them to back pedal and ask what they should do with me. They decided to leave me with Twilight Sparkle, which I didn't mind. Apparently she was a suck up for those who seemed helpless, which is good considering now I can find out why the subspecies of alicorn was created and whatever else I needed to know about this new world.

Turns out Twilight's house is a castle. Not really what I expected but it fits the medieval theme of this planet. After we walked through a couple doors we found the guest bedroom, which was huge. I mean 50 people could fit into one room and there would still be room for the bookshelf and desk.

She smiled and said, "I'll let you take it in for a few minutes then give you a tour of the rest of the castle and give you hints on where I’ll be most of the time if you need anything. Also there is someone you need to meet, seeing how you're going to be staying here for awhile till you're old enough to own your own house."

After standing there for a few minutes I got directed through the castle, which had a swimming pool, library, dining room, private study, a few other bedrooms, closets, kitchen quite a few bathrooms and other assorted rooms for different purposes. The only rooms I was interested in were the study and library. Otherwise I could care less.

I always was an outcast because I read more than socialize. Luckily I finished my education in my world before my parents died, so the mathematics here should be easy as well as reading and writing. But I'll be behind in the world's history. Hell, in my dimension before my parents died I was going to college for advanced coding and getting every other mathematical degree I could get.

Fortunately I was the youngest student to ever graduate from high school on my planet, which shocked every teacher I had. It was even more surprising considering the fact that my family was poor, so I had to learn this stuff on my own. By doing this I landed about 12 scholarships to the desired school of my choosing. I got four years in college, earning my bachelor degree in many mathematical-related jobs, but then I decided to change degrees when I found out my parents were dead. I changed to a career that would suit my desire for revenge. So I think I'm fit for any test they throw at me.

"So Dimensional Rift, where are you from?" Twilight asks.

"I don't remember. It's been eighteen years since I was there. My parents died and I left. I couldn't stand being there anymore.  Too many memories".

"That's too bad. But what I really want to know is how you became an alicorn," Twilight wondered.

"What do you mean?" I asked her.

"Well, most ponies aren't born as alicorns. They have to earn that position, and you being an alicorn means you did something special to earn the right to be a perfect combination of all three species," she explained to me.

"I don't know, I mean I just have been on for so long I don't remember," I lied, knowing it would only cause more questions.

"Alright, maybe we can figure it out later although what's strange is the fact you don't have a cutie mark yet, which means your special talent is still unknown. But we'll find out what you're good at. Now, what do you say we contact the proper authorities to see if I can adopt you?” she stated, “Considering there are only a few alicorns in existence that we know of, I would act as your legal guardian".

"Alright, but what about the person you wanted me to meet?" I remarked, wondering about what she said.

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot,” she said, and then called out, “Spike, would you come down here and meet Dimensional Rift?".

"Coming Twilight! I just finished reorganizing your bedroom’s bookshelf" said a voice

Suddenly this purple reptile-like creature walked into the room.

"Dimensional Rift, this is Spike, my number one assistant who is also a dragon." She must have read my expression on the last part because it seemed like she wasn't going to say the species if I hadn't looked at him, intrigued by his structure.

"Also Spike, send a message to Celestia that I'm adopting this alicorn and would like the guards to send the adoption papers immediately. Also create a file on her because I know there isn't a thing known about her. Check all of the spots Pinkie will pop out of because by the look in the eyes of Dimensional Rift when the crowd backed away from her, I can tell she won't like Pinkie's surprises," she instructed to Spike.

A few minutes later in Canterlot…

"Well, that session of a day in court worked out better than most,” a regal, white alicorn spoke out. Suddenly a scroll appeared in front of her. She read it and said, “A message from Twilight. I wonder what it is this time.” She was Celestia, ruler of all of Equestria.

After reading the letter through about twenty times, shocked by the fact that there is another alicorn out there besides the ones that are known, Celestia decided to teleport to Ponyville after creating a file for the new alicorn. She had a suspicious feeling about what has actually happened with this alicorn.

About 10 seconds later in Twilight's castle….

"Celestia, what are you doing here? I thought you usually send your guards for these matters," said Twilight

"Normally yes, but this is a special case," Celestia said with the royal Canterlot voice.

"So did you get the adoption papers I asked for?"

"Yes Twilight. Here you go. Make sure you have that filled out by sunset tomorrow."

The first day

While Twilight worked on the adoption papers, I decided to study this world's history. I sat on my bed with the many history books I had collected from the library. With three books read, a pink pony had appeared in my room!  I dropped the book on changelings and my room blew up, and I mean there was a chunk of wall missing when I was done.

The next thing that happened was Twilight appearing in my room with an expression of pure dread, as if I had been physically harmed. She calmed down instantly when she saw the pink pony who was now bouncing around the room somehow unharmed by the explosion.

“First time using magic I guess. Don't worry,  that doesn't always happen,” said Twilight.

“Yeah I've never used magic, but why did that happen? I wasn't even trying to use magic,” I said.

“Well, you see Dimensional Rift, your magic will sometimes activate even when you don't want to. This is called a magical surge. It usually happens when a unicorn or alicorn is surprised or frightened. This can cause different effects due to this. I turned my parents into potted plants for a few minutes till the spell wore off, ” Twilight explained. “Now knowing that you haven't used magic before, let me teach you a basic levitation spell. Focus on your horn; imagine it flowing with energy and then once it starts glowing with magical energy, focus on something in this room. Anything. Then imagine it moving towards a selected point and finally gently set the item down”.

I did as she said, focusing my magical energy on the pink pony just because she caused me to destroy my room. I imagined her in the library, my one sanctuary, shoved in between the history books I had scattered around the room. During this time I had my eyes closed but when I saw a flash of pure black light I opened my eyes to find the books in my room and the pink pony gone.

“Where did that pony go.” I said as I looked towards Twilight just to see she was shocked worse than I was. Her mouth hung open for a second before she recovered.

“Dimensional Rift, what location were you thinking of and what item in the room were you concentrating,” she said with concern clearly in her voice

“I was thinking of the pink pony. I was thinking of how she interrupted me in the middle of reading and how I wanted to just shove her on a book case between the history books I had been reading.”

“Oh dear Celestia, what have you done? A teleportation spell should be impossible for a filly your age, expressly one who has never used magic before. Let’s just hope it didn't end the way my first teleportation did or else we are going to need a new element of laughter.”

It took a few minutes to get down to the library but once we were there we found the pink pony right where she was supposed to be, completely unharmed. Even though I would have loved to see her blood all over the library even if I'd have to clean it up, she deserves it in my opinion. But that won't happen for now.

So I found out this pony’s name, which I was not surprised about it, was Pinkie Pie. While Twilight went back to the adoption papers, I got acquainted with Pinkie Pie.

“I knew there was a new pony in town! I searched for a long time but couldn't find you. Then I came to the castle and my pinkie sense was going off the wall, so i knew you were in here so I wanted to surprise you and you should have seen the look on your eyes! It was so great! Wasn't it great?” said the pink pony in about five Milliseconds flat.

All I could do is stare in awe as she spoke so fast. I didn't even think I could catch it all. After she explained herself I introduced myself, though it seemed completely unnecessary at this point. Then she said something about hosting a welcome party and left as I went back to studying.

By the time I finished half the library selection of history books it was time for dinner. Twilight lead me down to a building I didn't see on the way to the castle called Sugarcube corner.

At this place I was surprised by the number of ponies in just one building. Apparently it was a surprise party for me, but it came to a bad start when I punched the pony in front in the face as they jumped up in front of me. When the lights flickered on I saw it was the same Pink pony as before.

“Sorry Pinkie, but you should know I don't like surprises,” I said earning a worried glance from the crowd which I just deadpanned.

“Sorry about that Pinkie. I guess I should have warned you, Dimensional Rift is thought to not like surprises. At least I guessed she didn't. Now she is confirmed not to,” Twilight tried to say, apologizing for me.

“That's alright. I guess I should have learned from earlier today, but that is no reason to stop all the fun! So let's get this party started!” Said Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie Pie dragged me all through the crowd, introducing me to everyone. Half of them by morning I wouldn't remember. Four ponies that really caught my eyes were Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow dash.

As the party came to a close Twilight dragged me home from the only party I had ever been to and I had loved it, but due to being poor I knew this was a rare treat in my dimension.

‘Maybe staying in this dimension wouldn't be so bad,’ I thought. When we got home I passed out cold.

The visit (unedited)

School

It had been a few days after the party. I was getting used to this dimension and had even reclaimed something from my home planet: a portable music device that used to be an a-tracks tapes player, but now resembles more of an mp3 player which i’ve seen a few ponies carry around. It even has a few of my old songs. Of course the songs were different from those of the other ponies due the fact that on my planet this music was called death metal, likely to up the person's chance of suicide by about 35-45%.

I had a decision with Twilight the night before she plans on sending me to school today, mostly because I tend to sit in my room all day reading everything that has been in the library. Twilight seemed amused by that. I think she might have done something like this. Somehow I always end up finding myself in bed when I swear I fell asleep at the desk. She must come in at night and move me.

But today is the day where I have to pull the little kid act and go to school. Exciting, no but useful probably if I want to try to fit in at least. I trotted down to the dining room to meet Twilight. she had a wide grin on her face so I knew something was up, or at least she wanted to hide something from me.

“You seem happy this morning.” I said, not concealing the fact that I can read her expression.

“Well, yes I am. I have a surprise for you, Dimensional Rift.Jjust close your eyes and I'll tell you when to open them.”

I did as I was told mostly because I knew it would get this over with faster. A few minutes later I was told to open my eyes and I saw a well-crafted bag that I've seen many ponies around town, using them as a storage for this planet's currency and other needed items, but unlike those bags these ones were much fancier.

“Do you like it or what?” she asked.

Trying to keep my personal thoughts I had about how it was way too fancy for my taste, I just said, “It's fine Twilight. So ,who did you pay to make this?” In truth the only thing I like about the bags is the fact that they are black.

“Oh my best friend Rarity is the best fashion designer in town! She made these along with fixing mine”.

This Rarity must be some kind of a generous pony because this isn't the first time she made something for Twilight and included me in the order. Last time she made me a holder for my music player while Twilight had her curtains fixed due to a new magic spell I've been working on, a spell to set things on fire which I'm claiming to be an off version of a basic light spell that I've learned these last few days.

Twilight and I had a quick breakfast, then we trotted off to the school house I was right behind Twilight he whole trip, which only took a few minutes. At the schoolhouse I was told to go to room 169 to check in with my new teacher, Cheerilee. Again I did what I was told, this time with a little more excitement at the fact that I don't know what this world has to offer to my intellect.

I found room 169 easily and immediately cursed my old habits of being shy in small cramped rooms with children. I quickly checked in with the teacher, trying to hide my shyness. I introduced myself to the class and took a seat near a pink pony that wore a tiara as if she was royalty. Just by looking at her I wanted to smack her across her smug face but I had promised myself not to gain any special attention so that I could still blend in with the crowd.

As the day went on I listened to dumbed down speeches of things I have already learned from either books or my home planet. After class Cheerilee called me up to her desk so I could schedule a basic test so I could be evaluated. I told her I could do it right now. She agreed to let me take it while I waited for Twilight.

I flew through the test using only about 1 tenth of the knowledge I had access to within my mind, using everything I could remember about the subjects and checking the answers. I was done in five minutes, just long enough for Twilight to arrive. Even though I hadn't made friends like Twilight wanted she seemed proud of me for at least not bailing on my first day. She took me home and I studied more of the history of the planet and again fell asleep while reading at my desk.

The next day started out like the last, listening to music except for Twilight not having a surprise for me today. We went off to the schoolhouse all the same. This time I brought my mp3 just in case the lessons today were anything like yesterday so I could make it till recess.

As a took my seat in class I made sure to have the device hidden in its case inside my mane. No one would notice it unless they were trying to look for it, although what I didn't expect was the pony that wore the tiara that sat near me was saying “Oh look, the blank flank princess is back. I guess she's not royal enough for them. Maybe that's why her parents abandoned her, because she's just a big disappointment with no cutie mark and….” that was about when I focused on her saddle bag, starting a fire, which caused her to screech and throw down the bags.

I said to her, “Don't ever disrespect my family ever again or you will see worse than a burned bag. My family were honorable people who are now dead because they messed with the wrong crowd.” It was then I realized I had turned pure white with fire for a mane. I turned back to normal and the fire extinguished.

I calmed down just as Miss Cheerilee walked in. I settled back into my seat and listened to her drone on about various subjects, barely keeping myself from grabbing my mp3 from my mane.

At recess The pony on which I burned the bags tried staying away from me and decided to pick on three other fillies. Big mistake on her part because I don't tolerate bullies. I ran over there and saved them from this bully without saying a word. The pony took off running even though I would have loved to have her stay so I could deal out some punishment, but I had to make sure the fillies were alright beforehand so that would have to wait for another day.

“Are you three alright,” I asked them.

“Yeah, this happens all the time. Diamond Tiara always picks on us because we don't have our cutie marks yet,” said the yellow one with a red bow on her hair.

“Yeah, well I still think she should be punished for it. I mean it's not right her picking on you just because you haven't gotten your cutie marks Just stick with me though and she won't pick on you. She is scared of me.”

“What is that all about anyways,” said the orange one.

“I burned her bag when she disrespected me and my family. I have to talk to Twilight about the way I shifted from my normal colors to white with a flaming mane but I'll tell her that either tonight or tomorrow. Anyway, what are your names?”

“I'm Sweetie Belle,” said the white one

“Howdy, I'm Apple Bloom,” said the yellow one with that red bow on her mane.

“And I’m Scootaloo,” said the orange one

“And we are the Cutie Mark Crusaders,” they said in unison as if they had rehearsed this beforehand.

“Wait, you don't have a cutie mark either. Do you want to join our club?” said Sweetie Belle.

“Might as well. I'm protecting you from diamond tiara so yeah I'll join.”

“Okay, come to Sweet Apple Acres tomorrow and we will have are induction ceremony,” they said just as recess ended.

The truth (unedited)

The visit (unedited)

It had been a few weeks since I joined the cutie mark crusaders or the cmc every week we plan new ideas for our cutie marks and execute them in the long run I don't even care if I ever get my cutie mark as long as I get off this planet so I can complete my mission and so I'm not counted as Kia or abandoning the guard but I haven't seen the resources I need for the portal and I still don't want to use the die unless things start to get really messed up around here which of course won't happen unless someone finds out I'm not of this universe.

Anyways today is a day where I have to meet more of my new family due to Twilight and her friends getting called on by some map that has dragged them to a town they didn't even know about. All I know about my arrangements for awhile till Twilight and her friends get back is the pony’s name which is Shining Armor and his wife princess Cadance. I also know the destination of the train is somewhere called the Crystal Empire.

The train ride went on for a few hours until the train slowed to a stop at a crystal train station I had listened to music and slept through the train ride so I would have the energy for this visit to what Twilight had called my aunt and uncle which I planned to use their titles as Prince Shining Armor honorary ex-commander of the royal guard and Princess Cadance the princess of love which I never liked love it was a useless emotion that I only have felt for my ex-wife considering I'm on a different dimensional plane then her I'm counting it as an ex-wife if I make back I'll renew our marriage licences to reinstate our marriage but most likely I am already counted as Kia or mia.

As I walked off the train I was greeted by a white male unicorn with a blue mane. He greeted me with a smile and asked “ Are you perhaps my niece Dimensional Rift.”

I responded “Yes which would make you my uncle Shining Armor am I right”

“Indeed you are, Twily has said so much about you how you get along with other fillies and colts, how you study about as much as she used to maybe even more but I doubt it my sister used to study every moment of the day even during meals but less talk about the past I want to get you to the castle as fast as possible so I can introduce you to your aunt before she has to go to court for the day and listen to everyone’s problems which I have to go to night court when she gets home but that's later”.

We teleported to the castle well I should say he teleported us considering I expended absolutely no energy by grabbing on to him we ended up in the entree way and observed my surroundings which to my surprise was completely made of crystal of course it is called the Crystal Empire for a reason I guess I just found it.

We walked a little bit until we got to what looked like a oversized bedroom door we went through it and found what an alicorn mare laying spread out on the bed still sleeping although she was snoring loudly. I would have loved to take a picture and put this in the newspaper ‘ Princess of love snores louder than a stampede of buffalo conspiracy theory confirmed.’ that would be hilarious but no I shouldn't do that not while shining armor is in the room anyways.

“Honey wake up we have visitors.” Shining Armor said

Cadance started to stir when I finally lost my patience and yelled “Princess Cadance you're late for day court.”

She shot up not knowing who had said her name or who had informed her she was late but once she saw me and Shining Armor she calmed down and quickly checked the time realizing she wasn't late at all in fact she was early.

“Sorry honey I guess I overslept and forgot we were meeting your necius at least I know she has a sense of humor now.” Cadance said irritated

“Yeah she seems to have one let me introduce you two to each other. Dimensional Rift this is Cadance, Cadance this is Dimensional Rift now you to have your girl to girl talk or whatever you women do while I make breakfast.”

He left the room so me and Cadance began to chat about basically the same thing as me and Shining Armor were talking about earlier she seemed to have a deep interest in how I tend to do what Twilight did when she was younger which would really explain why Twilight seems to understand what I do at night.