How I Lived In Equestria

“Alright everypony, it’s that time of the year again.”

Godson nudged his marefriend next to him. “I’m calling it now, it’s gonna be a secret san—”

“It’s time for… a SECRET SANTA PARTY!”

“CALLED IT!” Godson shouted off the top of his lungs, practically scaring everypony around him, even the rainbow-maned mare sitting next to him. After quickly realizing his dumb mistake, he smiled sheepishly, returning his attention to his mare.

Surprisingly, though, Pinkie didn’t even seem to be fazed one bit. “See? Goddy’s excited for it!”

I’m not reall—

“So!” Pinkie continued with her plans. “I have stuffed everyone’s names into this top hat that Goddy gave me a few months back!” She quickly pulled a top hat from behind her, shaking it around in an attempt to shuffle the names.

“Each one of you will grab one name from the list, and you will be in charge of getting them a gift.” Pinkie explained. “And you can never tell the pony you’re buying a gift for that you’re their secret santa until the party’s over.”

“Pinkie.” Godson rolled his eyes. “I’m pretty sure we all know how this works.”

“Oh yeah?” Pinkie raised an eyebrow. “Just for that, you’re going first!”

Godson shrugged, not seeming to care in the slightest about Pinkie’s new decision. He got up, and walked over to the top hat in Pinkie’s hoof, and grabbed a small piece of paper from it. He looked at the name listed on the paper, and chuckled…

...For the paper had Twilight’s name.

“Welp. I think this might be a little bit easy for me…” He thought aloud.

“Dashie, you’re next!”

Dash immediately stood up upon hearing her name, walked up to the pink mare, and grabbed a name from the hat.

“Hm. Interesting.” Dash slowly nodded.

“Next!”

“Nope… Nope...” Godson muttered, looking through a shelf of books he found in a store. “C’mon… It can’t be that hard to find a book Twilight doesn’t have…”

Ironically, as if the world was trying to get him to stop complaining, he found the perfect book.

“Aha!”

But, to his surprise, he was caught off guard by a familiar laugh. He turned around sharply, moving the book around so it was behind him, only to find an equally familiar mare now in his field of view.

“Finally found something?” Dash gave a knowing smile as she raised an eyebrow.

“Maybe.” Godson retorted. “It’s probably something for you, and you’re spoiling the surprise just being here…”

“Please.” Dash scoffed. “One, I can tell that’s a book you’re holding behind your back. And two. I don’t read books unless it’s Daring Do, which it isn’t.”

“So? It’s probably a book that I thought you’d take an interest in!”

“You’re Twilight’s secret san—”

“Yeah pretty much.”

“Heh. You got the easy one.” Dash chuckled. “I feel bad for the poor sap who’s stuck with the hardest one.”

Godson raised an eyebrow. “And that is?”

“Uh. Well, depending on who is their secret santa… You, or Pinkie.” Dash bluntly stated.

“But, Pinkie may be the easiest one out of all of us.” Godson cocked his head to the side. “Just buy a cake, or something.”

“...Eh, true.” Dash shrugged. “I have a decently challenging one, though.”

“How so?”

“I’m not telling you!” Dash snapped at the human. “For all you know, it very well could be you!”

“Dash, we’ve known each other for about a year now.” Godson deadpanned. “I’m pretty sure you’d know exactly what to get me.”

“Crap.” Dash muttered. “You’re right.”

“So, who is it?”

“I’m still not gonna tell…” Dash grumbled.

“Alright.” Godson shrugged, continuing in his quest to buy Twilight’s gift by walking over to the register.

“Hey, Godson!”

Godson stopped midway in his journey, and turned around. “Hm?”

“Uh. Quick question.”

“Shoot.”

“What do you get for somepony with a crapton of animals?”

Godson simply deadpanned. “Welp. Thanks for giving it away.”

“What!? No I didn—”

“How many ponies do we know with a crapton of animals?” Godson interrupted.

“Uh…” Dash paused for a moment to think, then instantly groaned as soon as she realized her screw up. “Crap.”

“Exactly.” Godson chuckled. “As for what you should get for her… Uh. I dunno, animal feed, or something?”

“That’s a terrible idea.”

“I never said it wasn’t.”

“...Good point.”

As everypony reunited back at the base of the party, they began to leave their gifts on a large table that was at the very center of the room. Once the table was full of their gifts, big and small, they all sat down a good distance away from it, with Pinkie, the host, standing right between them and the table.

“Alright everypony. We’re finally at the end of our secret santa party!” Pinkie cheered. “I hope you all got the best possible gift you can find!”

“Uh, don’t we have to get up and actually grab our pre—”

“Nope!” Pinkie interrupted. “I will be the one to deliver everypony’s gift, one at a time, that way we can watch as they unwrap their gift!”

“That sounds like a terrib—”

“Twilight! You’re up first!” Pinkie shouted, immediately grabbing Twilight’s gift, and practically chucking it at the alicorn.

Luckily, she was able to stop it from making a crash course to her face with her magic. Shortly afterwards, she narrowed her eyes at the bouncing pink mare, and proceeded to read the note hanging from her wrapped present.

In an instant, Godson felt a strange disturbance in the room. He looked to his left, and was welcomed to Twilight’s immediate death stare, now that she knew he was her secret santa. He simply laughed sheepishly, as he then watched the mare unwrap her present.

To both of their surprise, the book that Godson bought for her was actually a book that wasn’t in her collection.

“Huh.” Twilight blinked. “How’d you know I didn’t already have this book?”

“I may be dating someone who’s isn’t much of a book fanatic.” Godson rolled his eyes. “But that doesn’t mean I’m the same way about them. You don’t think I’ve read enough books from your library to know what you do and don’t have?”

“...Fair enough.”

“Dashie, you’re next!” Pinkie shouted, quickly grabbing what appeared to be a large bottle wrapped in wrapping paper, and instead of chucking it, she ran over to the rainbow maned mare, and gave it to her.

“Oh…?” Dash raised an eyebrow. “Am I gonna like where this is going…?”

“You’re not gonna know until you open it, Dash.” Godson nudged her.

“Welp. Here goes nothing.” Dash immediately dug into the paper, practically ripping it to shreds as she desperately tried to find out what it was.

Upon seeing exactly what it was, Godson’s eyes widened. “Is that…”

“Yup!” Applejack smiled. “It’s a whole 2 litre bottle of my famous cider.”

Dash’s eyes widened upon hearing those words, and her mouth quickly began to drool the more she held it in her hooves.

And then, Godson snatched it away from her grasp.

“Hey!” Dash immediately began reaching for it, only to be blocked by the human’s hand. “Give that back!”

“I’d love to, Dashie. Seriously, I would.” Godson shook his head. “But considering the last time you had your hooves on this much cider… Things didn’t go so well.”

“I can’t say the same, considering how much you enjoyed that night…”

“That was your own fault.” Godson deadpanned. “Do you expect me to turn down an offer for se—”

“Goddy! You’re up!”

Next thing he knew, there was a box on a one-way trip right to his face. He immediately placed the bottle down onto the floor, and shielded his face with his arms to prevent the box from breaking his only pair of glasses. Luckily, it had succeeded, as the box hit his arms, and landed in front of him, instead.

Sighing, he then went ahead and grabbed the box, and slowly unwrapped the top, and opened it.

Before he could even get a look at what it was, Rarity instantly spoke up. “After the whole ‘sharing your jacket with Rainbow Dash’ ordeal, I figured I could do something about that.”

Godson looked into the box, and pulled out another jacket from inside it.

“...So I made a jacket that could actually support the two of you, together.” Rarity finished her sentence with a smile.

Godson looked up to the marshmallow mare, and smiled back. “Wow… Thanks, Rarity! This… this is actually great!”

“Just don’t mess up the other clothes I made for you, and we’ll call it even.”

Soon after, everypony had opened their gifts, and the party was slowly drawing to a close. Pinkie had returned the table to it’s rightful place, and the others were already preparing to leave.

“So…” Dash remarked with a sultry smile. “Let’s say you and I take advantage of AJ’s cider?” She quickly began nuzzling the human, wrapped around in his embrace as they shared his new jacket.

“That sounds very tempting, considering how cold it’s starting to get…” Godson replied with his own smile.

“Well, maybe I could warm you up…” Dash brought her face closer to his, her smile never ceasing as she continued her pursuit.

Eventually, Godson noticed something, he looked up, and raised an eyebrow at the mistletoe that Twilight magically floated above them.

With a chuckle, he looked back at the mare in his embrace. “Would ya look at that, Dash. Mistleto—”

Dash immediately cut his sentence off, pressing her lips against his.

“Heh, I knew that would happen…” Twilight giggled at the two. “I’m glad those two have each other.”

“What about you, Twilight?” Pinkie raised an eyebrow.

“Me?” Twilight raised an eyebrow back. “I don’t see myself as the dating type.”

“Uh-huh. We’ll see about that.”