“...And then, I teleported back here, leaving the two with their tattooes!” Twilight finished her story, falling on the floor as she bursted into total laughter.

Dash laughed softly. “Wow, Twilight. I gotta admit, I thought you’d be too much of an egghead to pull a move like that.” She then thought about how the two humans’ reacted, causing her to laugh a little more. “Is that whole tattoo thing permanent? Cause, uh… That’s gonna be really awkward at times..”

Twilight’s laughter slowly died down. “Nah, it’s temporary.” She got back up on all fours. “Godson’s tattoo lasts for the next few hours, and shadow’s lasts for about… uh… 3 to 4 days, somewhere around there…”

“Why does Shadow’s last longer than Godson’s?”

“Oh, cause he’s the one who dared Godson into taking over Equestria.”

“Really?” Dash raised an eyebrow. “Wow, I wonder what they put into the bet.”

“Something about… twenty dollars?” Twilight shrugged. “I didn’t quite understand that.”

”JORGE YOU FAGGOT GET BACK OVER HERE!”

Dash’s ear twitched. “Did you hear that?”

“Yeah... It was kinda faint though.”

“Not to me…”

”SCREW YOU SHADOW YOU CAN’T LOOK AT MY TATTOO.”

”I SHOWED YOU MINE, YOU DICK!”

”THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!”

“It sounds like they’re getting closer…” Twilight analysed.

”YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE!”

”THAT CAN BE ARRANGED!”

Dash walked to the door, opening it enough to peek her head through. Only to see her human being chased by another human behind him.

“DASHIE!” Godson shouted at the mare. “HALP ME!”

“YOUR WAIFU AIN’T GONNA SAVE YOU THIS TIME, JORGE!” Shadow shouted, not too far behind.

Dash kept a serious expression throughout their chase. She was tempted to close the door and let the two battle it out on their own, but at the same time, she didn’t want to have an injured human to worry about.

She opened the door all the way, moving out of the way for both the humans to run through.

Once both of the humans are close enough, Twilight casts a spell to freeze the both of them in their tracks; literally.

Dash closed the door, walking up to the two frozen humans. “Alright, listen up, you.” She pointed at the man behind Godson. “I’d let you sort out whatever issues you have over this one here.” She nudged her head in Godson’s direction. “But then I’d have to deal with his constant whining. Seriously, he bruises way too easily.” She added, rolling her eyes. “Fair?”

"Oh, hey Dash, Jorgy-boi over here make you his waifu yet?" Shadow replied with a giddy grin.

“You are so lucky you’re frozen…” Godson grumbled, only to get softly slapped in the back of the head by Dash’s wing.

“Shut up.” Dash commanded. She turned her focus back to Shadow. “What do you mean ‘make me his waifu’? What the hay is a ‘waifu’?”

“Nevermind…” Shadow rolled his eyes. “Fine, I’ll leave him alone."

“Good.” Dash nodded. “Nice use of that spell, Twilight. I wasn’t even expecting that.”

“Pretty basic spell, actually.” Twilight smiled. “Should I unfreeze them?”

“Probably should.” Dash replied. “Cause if we don’t, Godson will just start throwing a temper tantrum.”

“I don’t throw temper tantrums!” Godson retorted as the spell was slowly removed from him.

“I’m messing with you, geez.” Dash laughed softly. “After all this time we’ve been dating, you still don’t know when I’m messing around, huh?”

“No…”

“I can see that.” Dash giggled. “Now, come here, you ‘bigger idiot’.” She stood up on her rear legs, reaching her forelegs out for a hug. He obeyed, walking to her until he was close enough for her to pull him close to her.

“That’s what your tattoo said!?” Shadow stifled a laugh. “Ha! Yours is worse than mine!”

“Except yours lasts longer.” Dash peeked her head above Godson’s shoulder with a smirk, then softly closed her eyes as she rested her head on it.

“Oh, they’re temporary…” Godson thought aloud.

“Mhm.” Dash hummed. “Yours lasts for the next few hours... “

“Wait, why does mine last longer?” Shadow asked.

“Two reasons.” Twilight answered. “One, he wasn’t the one who came up with the dare. Two, I knew Dash was gonna complain about him having it for the next few days.”

“Do you know how awkward it would be seeing him with that ‘bigger idiot’ tattoo while w—”

“Anyways…” Twilight interrupted. “I’m sure you must have a lot of questions… so—”

“How the fuck do I get home?”

Twilight jerked her head back at the human’s sudden vulgarity. “Yeah… about that…”

”OW!”

”THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR LEAVING ME ALONE IN BED!”

“I’m stuck here, aren’t I?”

Twilight simply nodded.

“Of-fucking-course I am.” Shadow rolled his eyes. “And I was starting to think Jorge went MIA just because he didn’t want to go back.”

“Now that you mention that whole ‘horhay’ thing…” Twilight brought a hoof to her chin. “You said that was Godson’s real name?”

“I was getting ready to say something about that.” Dash jumped in on their conversation. She pulled back softly from her human’s embrace. “What’s that all about?”

“Now you’re fucked, Jorge.” Shadow smirked evilly. “gg.”

Godson let go of the mare, and turned around to face the man behind him. “So when I try to call you by your real name, you threaten to stab me. But when you say my real name, it’s perfectly fine?”

“Yep.” Shadow nodded.

“Screw you, that’s not fair at all.” Godson grumbled.

“Never said it was fair, now did I?” Shadow countered.

“Both of you, shut up and stop trying to dodge the question!” Twilight interjected.

“Okay! Fine! Yes, ‘Jorge’ is my real name!” Godson finally admitted. “Happy now?”

“So why would you lie to us about your name?” Twilight asked.

“Because, one, ‘Godson’ sounded cooler at the time.” Godson pointed a finger at the sky. “Two.” Another finger was raised. “I went with that name in case crap didn’t end well, no one would be able to ask around for ‘Godson’.” He placed a hand on the back of his neck. “I uh… kinda regret doing so in the long run…”

“Why’s that?” Dash jumped in.

Godson looked at her. “Do you know how awkward it is hearing you shout ‘Godson’ every time we’r—”

“Jorge.” Shadow interrupted. “We don’t need to know about your personal life with your waifu...”

Dash blinked. “Is he talking about me?”

“Yeah. He’s talking about you.” Godson confirmed.

“So ‘waifu’ means marefriend?” Twilight queried.

“Yeah, sure, why not?” Shadow replied.

“So, should I call you ‘Jorge’, then?” Dash cocked her head to the side.

“If you want?” Godson shrugged. “If you’re more comfortable calling me ‘Godson’, then go ahead.”

“How about I call you ‘idiot’, and we’re good?” Dash teased.

“Please don’t.” Godson frowned.

“Relax. I won’t...” Dash softly nudged his arm. “...Jorge.” She raised an eyebrow. “Eh… Kinda sounds better than ‘Godson’, if you ask me…”

“Wait, that’s it?” Shadow gawked. “No one’s pissed at him for lying!?”

“Why do you think he has that tattoo on his arm?” Twilight answered.

“Really? Just a ‘bigger idiot’ tattoo?” Shadow sighed. “Pathetic…”

“What do you expect us to do? Send him to tartarus just for lying?” Dash narrowed her eyes. “I’m not gonna send my boyfriend away just for lying about a dumb name. What about you, Shadow?”

“Shit...” Shadow grumbled.

“Why don’t you use your real name, anyway?” Godson inquired. “At least I had a reason the first time I came here.”

“Shadow sounds more badass.” Shadow crossed his arms.

“Whatever.” ~~Godso~~ Jorge rolled his eyes. “Shouldn’t we be hunting down that portal? Y’know, in case anyone else falls through?”

“Oh, please…” Twilight scoffed. “The chances of someone else falling through ar—”

“Still increasing and decreasing, meaning it’s a completely random chance of someone else falling through.” ~~God~~ Jorge interrupted. “And if you think Shadow is annoying…”

”Hey!”

“...then you won’t want to meet any of my other friends…” ~~G~~ Jorge concluded. “...Well, except Trey… He’s fine.”

“Eh. I can’t really imagine Trey here.” Shadow added. “Could you imagine if Ish were here, though?”

“I swear, if he falls through…” Jorge groaned, softly facepalming at the thought.

“Alright, I’ll send a letter over to Celestia to send out royal guards to help look out.” Twilight stated. “For all we know, the portal’s probably not even in Ponyville anymore.”

“What happens when the portal’s found, then?” Jorge asked curiously.

“I’ll fly there as fast as I can, and do everything I can to close the portal. It’s mostly just magic residue, so I should be able to control it...” Twilight answered.

“Should be able to control it…?” Shadow asked, sounding slightly worried.

“Well… yeah.” Twilight hesitantly nodded. “It’s magic residue from a spell I casted. Therefore, I should be able to control it.”

“And if you can’t…?” Shadow asked once more.

“Then… uh…” Twilight smiled sheepishly.

“Nice…” Shadow chuckled. “Let’s hope Twilight doesn’t screw the fuck up and doom us all.”

Jorge widened his eyes. “Woah, uh…”

Twilight cleared her throat. “I’m not a princess for nothing, y’know.”

”Oh good she passed it off like nothing…”

“You’re a princess, eh?” Shadow lifted an eyebrow. “Princess of what, exactly?”

“Er… Uh…”

“I rest my case.” Shadow concluded, giving a knowing smirk.

“The hell, Shadow?” Jorge cut in. “Why do you give every new person you meet such a hard time?” Suddenly, he had an evil idea. “What, are you trying to hint out the obvious?” He grew an evil smirk as he finished his sentence.

“What’s obvious...?” Shadow’s pupils shrunk, fearing of what his friend’s evil smirk would lead to.

“You like Twilight, don’t ya?” Jorge concluded, putting his evil plan into action.

“Uh… What are you doing?” Dash whispered in his ear.

“Just follow my lead.” Jorge whispered back.

“Jorge, are you high on some kind of pony drug or something?” Shadow’s pupils returned to normal.

“Oh, come on.” Jorge scoffed. “It’s obvious you have a thing for Twilight.”

“No… I don’t…” Shadow shook his head. “Seriously, you’re high, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, Shadow!” Dash smirked as well. “I can see it from a mile away.”

"Dash, did Jorge share his drugs with you? Cause you seem high, too." Shadow retorted.

“I can’t see it.” Twilight bluntly stated.

“Have you dated anyone, Twilight?” Jorge queried.

“No…” Twilight shook her head. “But that doesn’t me—”

“Then of course you can’t see it!” Dash interrupted. “Look at me and Jorge, we’ve been dating for almost a year.”

“Pretty sure we’ve picked up a few things by experience.” Jorge added.

Shadow finally figured where they were going with this, in an instant, his pupils shrunk once more, down to the size of acorns. “I don’t thi—”

“Eh, he doesn’t really seem to be my type.” Twilight interrupted. “Look at him, he’s a bigger idiot than Jorge.”

“I’d say something against that. But I’ve given up on trying to prove otherwise.” Jorge sighed.

“Relax, I know you’re not an idiot…” Dash said in a reassuring tone, wrapping a wing around him.

“Thanks…” Jorge smiled softly at the mare’s actions.

“No problem… idiot.” Dash joked.

“Me?” Shadow brought his hands to his chest. “A bigger idiot than Jorge?” He pointed at the aforementioned human. “Oh hell no. I am not a bigger idiot than Jorge!”

“Well, so far, you’ve been doing a bad job at showing it.” Dash snickered.

“What can I do to prove it, then?” Shadow brought his hands to his hips. “Whatever it is, I can do it.”

“I’m… gonna go write that letter…” Twilight blinked, slowly walking away as she tried to escape from this conversation.

Everyone else, however, didn’t bother to say anything, they continued in their useless debate.

“You know you’re stuck here, right?” Jorge asked to verify. “Where exactly do you plan on living?”

“Uh… I don’t fucking know…” Shadow retorted.

“I hear Applejack wouldn’t mind the extra help.” Dash commented.

“I’d prefer a cardboard box, thank you.” Shadow crossed his arms.

“What’s the matter? Don’t feel like fu—” Jorge caught himself. “Crap, I almost did it again…” He shook his head, returning back to the topic. “Don’t feel like bucking trees?”

“Whatever that is… No, just give me a fucking cardboard box, and we’re good.” Shadow grumbled.

“What about Pinkie Pie?” Jorge threw the idea out. “I bunked with her until I got on my feet?”

“Did you say something about how she would probably call you ‘Goddy’ before you went MIA?” Shadow questioned. “I don’t want some weird-ass girly nickname.”

“How would one make a girly nickname out of ‘Shadow’?” Jorge inquired. “It’s nearly impossible to come up with something like—”

“Jorge, this is Pinkie we are talking about..” Shadow countered. “For all we know, she could be listening in on us, right now.”

“How do you know about...oh, that’s right, I forgot that your world had us as a cartoon, entertainment, thing…” Dash groaned. “I was fine not remembering that, by the way…”

“Okay, then what about bunking at my place?” Jorge asked. “There’s plenty of ro—”

“Still waiting on that cardboard box.”

“If it’s that big of a problem, I have a guest bedroom.” Twilight walked back, rolling her eyes. “You could sleep there. Unless you’d still prefer that cardboard box…”

Shadow weighed the two options. Living in a cardboard box, which he’d probably burn later on in the long run, or sleep in Twilight’s guest room. Both seemed like pretty bad choices, regardless, but they were better than bunking with Jorge or Pinkie.

Eventually, he came to a decision. “Yeah. I guess I’ll sleep there…”

"Oooh. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?" Dash smirked.

Shadow glared at the mare. “So this was what you two were planning…”

Twilight looked at the smirking couple, then back at Shadow. “You do realize you’d need to help around, right?”

“Oh, so, chores?” Shadow quipped.

“If by chores, you mean besides helping around with cleaning?” Twilight tilted her head. “Yeah, sure.”

“Then… help with what, exactly?” Shadow worriedly asked.

“Oh, basically Spike’s job as my assistant every now and then.” Twilight shrugged. “I know he always wants to help and all, but, he needs a break every now and then.” She mused. “Besides, if you want to prove you’re not such an idiot, then helping me out as my assistant should be enough.”

“Really?” Shadow queried. “That doesn’t sound too bad.”

Suddenly, the sound of burping was heard, and shortly after, Spike walked into the room.

“Y’know, one of these days you’ll be sending a letter to Celestia. What if I’m not around to help send it?” Spike muttered, handing Twilight a letter. “Can Shadow breathe fire? I don’t think so…”

“Relax. He’s only doing the jobs that I wouldn’t want to bother you with.” Twilight sighed. “It’s not like he’s completely taking over.”

“It’s Owlicious all over again…” Spike groaned, returning to where he originally was.

Twilight rolled her eyes. She used her magic to levitate the letter, which opened entirely on it’s own. “Well, that was fast…”

“What is it?” Jorge inquired.

Twilight looked up from her letter. “It’s Celestia. They found the portal.”

“That’s great!” Jorge cheered. “What are you waiting for, go close it! I’ll stay here with Shadow. Cause, I don’t feel like going anywhere... ”

“Alright…” Twilight closed her eyes, teleporting the letter somewhere else. She then looked at Shadow. “While I’m gone, Shadow…” Her horn illuminated once more, and with a flash of light, a piece of paper appeared in front of him. “Here’s some stuff for you to do.”

“Wait, what?” Shadow grabbed the list.

“And I expect all this to be done before I get back.”

“WHAT!?” Shadow shouted. “HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS HELP ME PROVE I’M NOT AN IDIOT!?”

“It doesn’t.” Twilight deadpanned. “It’s just that I’ve been making Spike do chores for a while now. You wanna live here? Then it’s your turn.”

Shadow looked at her, then back at the list. “Fuck…”

“It’s not that bad.” Twilight shook her head. “They’re all really simple chores. You could get them done in no time at all.”

“Ugh…”

“Anyway, I better hurry up and get to that portal before someone else falls through.” Twilight noted, making her way out the door. “I’ll send status reports whenever something major happens!”

“‘Kay.” Jorge nodded, waiting for the door to close shut.

Once it did, he walked up to Shadow, who was still complaining about the list.

“Lemme see that friggin list.” He snatched the piece of paper from Shadow’s hand. “Feed Owlicious, clean the dishes, pick up the books lying around…” He read. “These are all basic chores, why are you complaining so much?”

“They all require effort…” Shadow groaned.

Jorge patted him on the back. “At least you’re living under Twilight’s roof. I actually had to work until I got on my feet. Like, bake cakes and clean all kinds of messes.”

“How’d that turn out?” Shadow raised an eyebrow.

“These chores on your list? They’re child’s play compared to what I do around my house.”

“How so?”

“Living with Dash has it’s pros and cons. The pros outweigh the cons by a ton, but, let’s just say one of the cons is basically needing to have a constant supply of bleach…”

Author's Note

Part Two of Three.