Ishtaba: Ayy so while Shadow’s gone doing who knows what.

Trey: Hm?

Ishtaba: I’ll probably play Dota when I get back. Quigz wanna come with?

Quigzerz: lol sure

Ishtaba: kk

*Godson is now Online.*

Ishtaba: WHAT

Godson: GUYS

Ishtaba: WHAT

Godson: I BARELY HAVE SIGNAL OUT HERE

Ishtaba: YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD

Godson: WELL I’M NOT, DEAL WITH IT.

Ishtaba: WHERE THE F*CK HAVE YOU BEEN

Godson: YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE ME IF I TOLD YOU

Ishtaba: F*CK THE TRUTH

Godson: I DON’T HAVE MUCH TIME TO TALK.

Quigzerz: Damn i had 20$ on him being dead.

Trey: caps much?

*Godson is now Offline.*

*Godson is now Online.*

Godson: Guys seriously I don’t have much time to talk.

*Godson is now Offline.*

*Godson is now Online.*

Trey: gg Godson’s internet

Ishtaba: Alright fine what’s going on

Godson: If anyone feels anything weird near you, or if you have a dog barking at the air. DON’T INVESTIGATE IT.

Quigzerz: Fck you ima go investigate it, id wanna touch it, sounds like it would feel weird.

Trey: wtf?

Ishtaba: df you talking about

Godson: And if you DO decide to investigate… Then bring some sticky notes cause I want some.

Ishtaba: lol what

Godson: Yeah man, sticky notes aren’t easy to just come across where I am.

Ishtaba: Can’t you just buy some at the store?

Godson: None of the stores here have sticky notes. I don’t even think it exists here.

Quigzerz: I always carry sticky notes on me.

Trey: Where are you? Antarctica?

Godson: yeah sure whatever

Ishtaba: You’re telling me penguins don’t sell sticky notes?

Quigzerz: Bring me a penguin. plz.

Godson: That doesn’t matter. What matters is that you be very careful if you start investigating.

*Godson is now Offline.*

*Godson is now Online.*

Godson: And if you do fall through. Then… well...

Ishtaba: ?

*Godson is now Offline.*

Ishtaba: Wait, “well” what? GODSON WHO SAID YOU CAN F*CKING LEAVE

Quigzerz: lol fck, thats the last of that then.

Ishtaba: Screw it, I’m almost home, lemme just pull out my keys now so I don’t have to fiddle for them later.

Ish searched the front pocket of his backpack, trying to find his house keys. Sadly, they were hidden underneath all his random assortments of junk he keeps in his bag. Also within his bag lied a Pre-Calc textbook, a few packs of Post-Its, and other school supplies.

“God damnit, why the fuck do I keep so much useless shit in here?” He cursed as he stabbed his palm on a recently sharpened pencil. “Whatever, at least I did this shit now rather than at my door…”

As he pulled out his keys, Ish’s clumsiness got the better of him. He dropped them, but managed to see where they had fallen on the ground. However, for some reason, the lanyard they were on was half missing and the keys were slowly moving towards where the lanyard began to disappear.

“What the hell, am I going crazy?” Ish thought aloud as he went to pick up his keys. “Wait, the fuck? Why can't I pull this shit out?”

Ish starts moving closer, and tries to get a better grip on his lanyard; but, to his surprise, the lanyard disappeared from sight, and his keys soon followed suit. Almost as if they were sucked into the ground.

“Shit, I needed that. No one’s home, and I sure as hell am not sitting outside for a few hours...”

Of all the things Ishtaba could’ve done, he decided to literally poke the ground to search for where his keys went.

“God, I look like an idiot... Good thing all of my friends live on the opposite side of town…”

And at that moment, he noticed that his left hand felt absolutely nothing as he touched part of the ground. As if he was in contact with something ethereal. He tried to move his hand around to confirm his suspicions, but alas to no avail, he could not pull back his hand. In fact, his motions caused his arm to further fall into the ground.

“Shit, does no one see this?” He thought to himself. “Where’s other people when you need them…”

He attempted to move toward his partially sunken arm to try and free it, but, by some bizarre coincidence, his foot decided to get caught on the uneven part of the sidewalk.

“GOD DAMNIT!” He screamed as he tried to stop his fall forward with his other arm. “WAIT. SHIT. WOULDN’T THIS MEAN MY OTHER ARM IS GONNA GET STUCK NOW!?” He sighed in defeat. “Fuck it, shit happens. I give up. At least I can say I tried...” He apathetically declared as he fell to his imminent demise.

“SHIIIIIIIIIIT!” He screamed at the top of his lungs as he completely fell through. He closed his eyes as he prepared for his cruel fate.

Twilight walked into the area, royal guards grouped together to form a barrier between the public and the portal’s current position. While the portal was in the sky, she needed to focus her magic perfectly, which would require her to be on more familiar territory; the ground.

“Alright…” She muttered as her horn began illuminating in a bright purple glow. “This shouldn’t be too hard… If I was able to open and close the portal, then closing it alone should be relatively simple…” She gulped. “I hope…”

With that, a bright spark came from her horn, which slowly turned into a full on shot of lightning. It quickly made contact with its target, thus linking the portal to her complete magic signature, allowing control over it.

Now that she was linked with the portal, not only would she be able to close it, she would be able to feel if something fell through. She immediately focused her magic on closing the portal, though her attempted were interrupted, as a small object fell through. She groaned as the object lingered between the two worlds, almost as if something was preventing it to complete its journey.

Shortly after, the object finally fell through, and Twilight let out a sigh of relief. She canceled her spell momentarily in order to see what it was.

The object hit the sidewalk with a soft “clank”. Twilight walked up to the object, identifying it to simply be a lanyard, with some keys.

“Keys?” She thought aloud. “Why would keys fall through the portal?” She placed a hoof on her chin. “I get that anything could’ve fallen through the portal at any time… but keys?”

“SHIIIIIIIIIIT!”

Twilight jerked her head up, finding something large falling down directly above her. She took a few steps back, preventing the large being from landing on top of her. Her horn glowed in a purple light once more, creating a bright flash of light in front of her. When the light was gone, a mattress was in its place, allowing a safe crash.

With a soft “thump”, the being landed onto the soft mattress, breaking his entire fall.

“Well.” Twilight spoke. “I suppose that explains the lanyard...”

"Did you just say lanyard?" Asked the object as he lay on the mattress face down. "Cause I kinda need that to get home."

“Heh.” Twilight chuckled. “Well, you’re pretty far away from home…”

"What do you mean pretty far?" Ish asked as he rose from the mattress. He looked at his surroundings, seeing an average city, which he merely shrugged at. “Not even gonna bother asking how or why I’m miles away from where I should be,” Then he looked towards the sound of the voice, and found it’s source. "Oh... Fuck... Jorge wasn't lying after all... Well… guess I'm not playing Dota anytime soon." Ish lowered himself and positioned himself more comfortably on the mattress.

"Oh. You know Jorge." Twilight narrowed her eyes, ignoring the foreign ‘dota’ word. She then chuckled at how the aforementioned human would react to someone else he knew was stuck with him. "You're quite lucky to wind up here... Uh... What's your name?"

His eyes lit up, “Damn RIGHT, I know Horhey!” Ish was struggling to hold back his laughter,”Depends, what did Jorge say his name was when he got here?”

"Why does that matter?" Twilight tilted her head to the side.

“Because I want to know if he actually asked you all to call him ‘Godson’.” Smiled the human. “But that’s irrelevant right now. You may refer to me as simply “Ish”, I could care less on what you do end up calling me.” Smirked Ish as he stood up from sitting on the mattress. “Now, shall we go see Jorge? I want to surprise him.”

“Not yet.” Twilight shook her head. “Introductions aside, I have a job to do.” Her horn illuminated in a purple glow once more, wiping the mattress from existence.

“Who died and made you leader?” Ish retorted. “Also, who said I was done with that?” He pointed at the lack of a mattress behind him.

Twilight simply sighed, ignoring the whining human as she returned back to concentrating to close the portal.

Too bored to just sit around, Ish started to survey the area a second time. He noticed a wall of ponies that appeared to be some sort of royal entourage encircling him.

“Well, shit. I don’t think I can just ditch Twilight and find Jorge on my own…” He thought as he walked back to where his mattress would’ve been. He noticed that his keys were still on the ground. “How the hell didn’t I pick this up earlier?” Ish looked at the time on his phone, only two minutes passed since Twilight started to ignore him. “My God, I’m so fucking bored. She’s been standing there for ages...”

Meanwhile, Twilight’s horn kept its purple glow as she focused her magic once more. A spark appeared on her horn once again, until it turned into a full on shot of lightning, shooting up to the portal, which had moved just a little from its original position. She screwed her eyes shut and groaned softly as she linked herself to the portal again, requiring only one more step to finish her job.

“Hooray!” Ish said sarcastically, “NOW can we go see Jorge? Watching you pretend you’re part of stage crew was literally the most boring thing I’ve done all day.”

Twilight lifted an eye, focusing on the impatient human, losing just a bit of her concentration. She gasped at a sudden pain in her head, and returned back to focusing on the portal. Her groans growing louder, the electricity between her horn and the portal was still the same, until her horn produced a bigger shock, sending it straight at the portal.

“Now that I think about it, do you ponies even have stage crews?” Ish asked, completely ignorant of Twilight’s growing annoyance and frustration. “Screw it, you do now. Whatever, I’m gonna go ask nicely for those ponies in shining armor to politely move the hell out of my way. Peace OUT Twi!”

As Ish walked towards the guards, the guards he got the closest to simply shook their heads, and their horns began to glow.

“Oh… I’m just gonna go back to my invisible mattress now…” said a regretful Ishtaba. “Damn these guards are uptight… Maybe Twilight’s still pretending she’s DJing an EDM concert...”

The portal quickly became visible, shocking the guards, and the ignorant human. Twilight’s groans turned into screams of pain as she sent another blast at the portal, causing it to shrink significantly.

“Oh, she actually looks like she’s having trouble. Maybe I should tone my shit down a bit. Nah, FUCK that. That’s effort,” Ish thought as he completely disregarded the flashing lights in the sky. He checked the time again, it was almost 4:00 p.m. “Really? Only 2 minutes have passed again? Shit, I’m hungry. She better finish fast cause my needs get priority over whatever alien abduction is going on here.”

Meanwhile, the portal continued to shrink more and more, reaching to the point where only an acorn could fit.

"ARE YOU DONE YET!? YOU'RE LITERALLY SLOWER THAN MOLASSES!" screamed Ish as he rummaged through his bag for snacks.

Twilight gave a final shout, sending one more blast to speed up the process. Fortunately for her and the impatient human, it worked. The portal closed, disconnecting both Equestria and Ish’s home.

Panting after the ordeal, she toppled over, and began losing consciousness.

“Princess!” One guard called out, running out to grab her.

"Oh, I'm so sorry for being intolerable. No one's ever fainted from my sheer ego before," said Ish, apparently even his sympathies are self-centered.

The guard looked up at Ish, gawking over his focus on nobody but himself. He looked back down at the Princess, and began covering her in his own magic aura.

"Anyway, if you want to help her grab me an ice pa- Oh wait you have fucking magic."

The guard looked up at the irritating human. “She’s going into a magically induced coma, idiot.”

"Here's the play. Let's get—”

“Princess Twilight already prepared me for this situation.” The guard interrupted. “I just need to wake her with a simple spe—”

"ORRRR…” Ish interrupted. “You give her this so she doesn't feel like crap when she gets up," he said as he pulled out a pill from his bag. "This is a fever reducer and a pain-killer, I bet your magic can't do this."

The guard opened his mouth to say something, but then shook his head, ignoring the human’s stupidity. He poked Twilight’s head with his horn, shrinking whatever’s causing her unconsciousness.

Twilight gasped for breath as she awoke from her temporary coma. She panted for breath as she looked around, recalling the past few minutes.

“Whew…” She sighed. “I did it…”

“You did it?” Ish raised an eyebrow. “What about me? I helped too! Also, take this, you probably feel like shit after that fainting," he said as he handed her the pill.

Twilight looked at the pill in his hand, then back at him. Never changing her blank expression as she continued to listen to the annoyance she was forced to call a human.

"Do you ponies not have any concept on concentrated medication…?" Ish asked. "I swear it's like I'm being ignored or something... It's only been like 20 minutes since I got here, and I'm already sick of you people."

Twilight sighed, closed her eyes, and lifted the pill with her magic. She opened her eyes, looking at the human. “If it’s so helpful…” The pill flew into Ish’s open mouth. “Why don’t you take some?”

Ish swallowed, "Because I'm not the one who was just on the ground unconscious, or the one groaning in pain 10 minutes ago."

“Ordinary medicines don’t work on magically induced problems.” Twilight stated, getting back up on all fours. She cleared her throat with a soft “ahem”.

"Aaand, I already don't feel like arguing anymore. Do you know where I can find real food?"

Twilight looked at the guard, and nodded. “The portal’s closed, we’ll be heading out back to Ponyville. Thank you.”

The guard nodded, walking up to the other guards, who all broke apart from their circular barrier.

Twilight looked back to Ish. “You’ll get food when we reach the train.”

"And how long is that from now?" he asked impatiently.

“Not too long…” Twilight looked at a nearby train station. “In fact, I think there’s one leaving in a couple of minutes…”

Ish was already lined up to get a ticket before she even finished. "Yeah you see that purple pony over there? Just ask her to cover the bill. I'll take two tickets to Ponyville please."

Twilight rolled her eyes, walked past Ish, and continued off to board the train.

“You mean that purple pony?” The ticket master looked at the mare already boarding the train.

"Does it look like there's another purple pony around here. For Christ's sake, all the guards were white. You're blue, and every pony else is every color BUT purple. So yes, that purple pony is my payment option."

“I’m pretty sure she’s not paying for your ticket, sir…”

"Trust me, I swear she is. Why else would she come all the way here with her guards just to see me," Ish said very non-persuasively.

The ticket master looked at the train, seeing no signs of Ish’s payment option.

"I won't complain to your manager if you let me on," he offered desperately. "If anything you were horribly disrespectful to me and refused me service. Also you spit in my face."

Sighing, Twilight walked back out of the train. “Look… I’m sorry if this idiot has caused you any trouble…” Twilight apologized, flaring her wings open, signifying her princess status.

"Trouble my ass," Ish mumbled. "I was this close to closing negotiations..."

“Shut up.” Twilight growled, shifting her attention back to the ticket master. “I previously ordered my ticket, expecting to go home alone.” She looked back at the human with narrowed eyes. “He kinda just… showed up unexpectedly…” She focused on the stallion in front of her once more, placing some bits down on the desk. “This should be enough to cover his ticket…”

He nodded in response, giving her Ish’s ticket. “I apologize for the trouble you must be facing, Princess.”

"I heard that! And I am very much offended!" said Ish as he began to wander off towards the train.

“Heh…” She huffed. “You have no idea…” She shrugged, walking back to the train.

As the duo found their seats, and gave up their tickets, Ish was already eating some leftover waffles.

“What the hay is wrong with you!?” Twilight shouted at the human.

"Food was taking too long to get here," he replied as he took a bite out of his chocolate chip waffle. "I have an unopened bag of cookies if you want."

“Not the food.” Twilight shook her head. “You’re so self-absorbed! I-I’ve never met a human so ignorant, so stupid, so…”

“Handsome?” Ish finished. "Or is the word you’re looking for ‘godlike’?"

“No!” Twilight yelled in frustration. “Not even Shadow was this annoying! And he’s proven himself to be an even bigger idiot than Jorge at the moment!”

"You can't call me self-absorbed, I'm too perfect for that!" he argued. "Wait did you just say SHADOW!? I was under the assumption only Jorge was here."

“No, Shadow’s here, too.” Twilight shook her head once more. “He fell through the same portal you fell through.”

"Let's make a deal, I'll tone down my narcissism. And you give me an exact rundown of everything that's happened so far since Jorge got stuck here."

Twilight blinked. “Really?”

“Yeah. I want to know what’s happened before shit hits the fan.”

“How about I fill you in on everything that’s happened since Shadow arrived and leave you to figure out what’s happened to Jorge?”

“Deal.” he said. “Wow, I’m so good at negotiating…”

Author's Note

WERE YOU EXPECTING SOMEONE ELSE!?

And, uh, yeah. It's a two parter.