How I Lived In Equestria

“That was easy.”

“Ha! I still have the app!”

Godson sat in a bench outside Sugarcube Corner, just finding out that he’ll be having a few days off of work, adding to the day he already had off yesterday. It was both good and bad. Bad because he wouldn’t get paid for those days off, but good because he really didn’t feel like working today.

At least he saved some bits to last him until then…

He stood from the bench, returning his phone to it’s temporary home. He attempted to figure out what he could do while Dash was at work.

“Ugh. I’m off from work, and Dash isn’t.” He whined. “The heck am I supposed to do until she gets out?”

Suddenly, Twilight walked by, catching notice of the human. “Hey, Godson. I was actually looking for you!” She cheered. “I kinda need some help wi—”

“Shut up, Twilight!” Godson brought his hands to his head. “I’m trying to think of something to do while Dash is at work!”

Twilight stared blankly at the human. “Here’s an idea…” She began. “Why not help me out with some stuff until she’s done?”

“Hm. No, that’s a dumb idea.” Godson shook his head. Not too long later, an idea popped into his head. “I got it!” He shouted. “How about I help you out until she’s done?”

“Gee… I wonder how you came up with that idea…”

“Uh... What exactly did you need me to do?”

“Well, I needed someone to help me test a spell I found.”

“So I’m basically going to be your test dummy, aren’t I?”

“Yeah. Pretty much.”

“Great…” Godson sighed. “What kind of spell did you find, exactly?”

“According to what I’ve read, it’s supposedly a spell to freeze someone right in their tracks.” Twilight explained.

“Frozen in ice?”

“No.” Twilight shook her head. “More like, the subject’s whole body is just… stuck.”

“So... kinda like... paralysed?”

“Somewhat.” Twilight nodded. “If you were running, you’d be stuck in that pose, if you were in the air, you’d be stuck in the air until you were unfrozen.”

“Frozen in time, then?”

“Yeah, almost. You can still breathe, move your eyes, that kind of stuff, apparently, but that’s pretty much it.” Twilight concluded. “But I needed to test it something living, and I’m not gonna put Spike in harm’s way…”

“...So you’d be perfectly fine throwing me in harm’s way.” Godson finished the sentence.

“Exactly!” Twilight beamed, then ultimately caught herself, going wide-eyed as she realized what she said. “N-No! That’s not what I…!”

“Relax. I’m messing with you.” Godson teased. “Geez, learn to take a joke.”

Twilight narrowed her eyes, pissed over the human’s stupidity. She took a deep breath, and began preparing herself as she started to cast the spell. Her horn illuminated in a bright purple glow.

The test dummy in question suddenly felt a tingling in his entire body as it was being engulfed in Twilight’s magic aura, starting from his feet, climbing up until it reached the top of his head. Once her magic completely surrounded him, it faded away, and he found himself no longer able to move.

“There.” Twilight smiled at her new accomplishment. “That’ll teach you to keep joking around.”

Godson tried to move his head to look at himself, but no avail. He attempted to move his eyeballs, which seemed to work, as well as his obvious breathing. He attempted to move his mouth.

“Test.” He said aloud. “Great… Being frozen while being able to talk… I think you screwed up your spell, Twilight.”

“No I didn’t.” Twilight shook her head. “That was something that I intentionally did. Just to add to the annoyance.”

“Hm.” Godson hummed. “Well, it does feel out-of-place… Now, put me back to normal.”

“What?”

“Put me back to normal.”

“What’s the magic word?”

“...Please?”

“Nope!” Twilight’s face suddenly morphed into an evil smile. “I said the magic word”

“The heck is that supposed to even mean!?”

"Too late!" Twilight’s horn quickly began to glow once more, surrounding the frozen human in the glow as well. “All the times you played jokes on me... now it’s my turn!”

“I don’t like the sound of that…”

The door magically opened on it’s own, and soon, Godson found himself floating his way towards the door.

“Twilight...? What are you doing...?”

The fact he was unable to move frightened him even more, as he wasn’t able to even turn his head to see what was going on behind him. He was frozen, perfectly standing, unable to move a single muscle in his body.

As he levitated out of the door, Twilight followed suit. And eventually, she turned him around, and placed him down.

“Wait, why am I being placed down out here?”

Twilight simply ignored him, and continued with her work. As he was placed down on the ground, her aura faded away once again. She had placed him in an area right between her yard, and the ‘road’ in which everypony casually walked in.

“Annnnnd…. There.” Twilight nodded. “Have fun, Godson!” With that, she walked back into the library.

“What?” Godson worriedly spoke. Though before he could try to say anything else, the door far behind him closed with a soft “click”.

“Of course…” He sighed. “Well… guess I deserved this…”

He moved his eyes in attempt to look around, watching as everypony simply walked around and minding their own business. While there was a number of people who noticed the frozen human, no one ever stopped to question whether it was just a realistic looking statue, or actually him standing still for no reason.

“Well… At least it can’t get any worse than this…” He thought aloud.

“Omigosh, a human!”

“...I spoke too soon, didn’t I?”

Lyra walked up to the frozen human. “Omigoshomigoshomigosh!” She yelled in pure excitement. “This is a perfect statue of a human! It looks so life-like and everything!”

“Lyra…” Bonbon whined. “Enough of this huma—”

“Tell me you see this.” Lyra interrupted. “Tell me I’m not the only one who sees this!”

Bonbon looked at him, then back at her. “Alright… yeah, I see it.”

“This is a human!”

“How would you know?”

“There’s a book all about humans, and how they live in another world, different from ours!” Lyra explained. “I forgot who wrote it, but it was accurately detailed!”

“‘Accurate’. Right…” Bonbon rolled her eyes.

“I wonder what’s it doing sitting out here in front of the Golden Oaks Library…” Lyra placed a hoof on her chin.

“Does it matter, Lyra?” Bonbon inquired. “Just leave it alone…” She sighed, continuing her walk to her destination.

Meanwhile, Godson stayed completely silent, allowing the duo to think he was merely just a statue.

“I think it’s out here for anypony to take…”

“No it’s not…”

“I should take it…”

“No you shouldn’t…”

“I’m gonna take it…”

“Don’t take it, Lyra…”

“TOO LATE!” Lyra excitedly shouted, already levitating the ‘statue’ with her magic.

Bonbon looked back, seeing the mare already walking up to her with the ‘statue’ floating nearby. She sighed, shrugging off the idea of wanting to argue with her over the ‘statue’, knowing she wasn’t going to get anywhere by doing so, anyway.

“This would look great in the back yard!”

Twilight hummed softly as she got her rest from Godson. At the same time, this allowed him to stay out of trouble until Rainbow Dash returned from work. It wasn’t that she felt that he was completely dumb and irresponsible, it was just, at times, he actually was.

Her door softly opened, with Dash slowly peeking her head in. “Hey… Twilight?” She spoke softly.

Twilight turned her head to the door. “Yeah?”

“Have you seen Godson?” Dash asked worriedly. “I can’t find him anywhere… He’s not home, he’s not at work, and he doesn’t come by here too often…”

“He’s not in the front yard?” Twilight raised an eyebrow.

“No?” Dash raised an eyebrow as well. “Why would he?”

Twilight winced at the yelling she would soon receive. “I kinda… froze him with a spell… And then left him outside…”

“So why isn’t he there…?”

“Uh…”

“YOU LOST HIM!?” Dash shouted, her wings sprung open in rage over Twilight’s actions.

“No!” Twilight retorted. “I just… misplaced him…!”

Dash narrowed her eyes. “You ‘misplaced’ him…”

“Yeah…” Twilight sheepishly smiled.

Dash rolled her eyes. “Cool. So, Godson is out who knows where. And can’t even escape thanks to a spell you tested on him.” She sighed.

“He volunteered to help me test!”

“Did he volunteer to being used as a garden gnome?”

“Er…”

“Exactly.”

Twilight scoffed. “You make it sound like such a big deal.”

“It is a big deal!” Dash countered.

“This is Godson we’re talking about.” Twilight pointed out. “I’m sure he can’t be in that much trou—Now I see why you’re worrying…”

“Glad to see you understand.” Dash nodded. “'Cause you're gonna help find him!”

“I still can’t believe Twilight would want to throw out a statue like this…”

“She didn’t… You stole it…”

“Steal is such a harsh word!” Lyra retorted. “I prefer I… rescued it.”

“Rescued it from what, Lyra?” Bonbon raised an eyebrow.

“...The trash?” Lyra replied with a sheepish grin. “Oh, come on, Bonbon! I really doubt Twilight would just leave a statue of a human outside the library for no reason at all!”

“I’m sure she has her reasons…” Bonbon rolled her eyes. “Maybe she was redecorating, and needed to move it out of the way.”

“Or she was getting ready to throw it out to the trash…” Lyra added.

“Alright. Fine.” Bonbon shook her head. “I give up. But if somepony starts looking for their statue back, I’m going to tell them you stole it.”

“Nopony’s gonna want this statue!” Lyra countered. “If you don’t believe humans exist, why would anypony else?”

Bonbon sighed. She knew she wasn’t going to win this argument. While Lyra was right about herself being the only one who believes humans exists, Bonbon still believed Twilight had that statue for a reason.

She looked up, and noticed a rainbow trail in the sky. It quickly faded, though she already knew who created that trail. She looked back in the library’s direction, despite already being far away, and saw the trail ended there.

“C’mon!” Lyra nudged her. “We’re almost home!”

Fortunately, Bonbon wasn’t the only one who noticed the rainbow trail.

“I hope Dash finds me… soon.” Godson thought. “I’m not sure how long I can stand being somepony’s ‘statue’...”

He started thinking about how bad Twilight might be feeling whenever she realized he’s gone missing, with absolutely no way back. Or how his waifu/marefriend is feeling over his disappearance.

Not long later, he snapped out of his train of thought. And he instantly found himself in a new area. Without even realizing it, he was already brought home to Lyra’s house. He scanned his surroundings, finding a door not too far away, indicating him being in a separate room, a picture frame sitting on a nearby table, and other normal household objects.

What he couldn’t see, however, was the room he was actually placed in. All he could see was a part of the room, and the door in front of him. Unfortunately for him, the room he was placed in was not an ordinary room.

Behind him was a shrine to humans. Drawings, paintings, copies of the book she previously mentioned. Anything you could find related to humans was right here in this shrine.

And Godson was put right in front of it all.

Rainbow Dash searched frantically for her human, asking everypony if they saw him, or even a statue of him. Everyone she’d ask would turn up with a negative result. She hoped she’d find him soon, otherwise she’d worry herself to death. While she wasn’t too worried that he could get hurt while being frozen, she was more worried over the fact she would never see him again.

Upon finding somepony she hadn’t already asked, she walked up to them. “Excuse me… Have you seen Godson?”

“Godson?”

“Yeah… Like, super tall, walks around on two feet, wears clothes all the time?”

“You mean that creature who has that barking dog?”

“Yeah! That’s him!” Dash confirmed. “Have you seen him?”

“Nope.”

She sighed. “Alright, thanks anyway.” She slowly turned around, preparing to leave. Then quickly turned her head to double-check something. “What about a statue of him, have you seen that anywhere around?”

“Not that I know of… no. Sorry.”

“Alright.” Dash nodded. “Thanks again.”

She flew off into the sky, scanning the small town in an attempt to find her ‘boyfriend’.

Godson insisted instead of referring to him as her ‘stallionfriend’, to refer to him as her ‘boyfriend’ instead, since he wasn’t a stallion. She laughed at the memory, which only made her worry even more. She wasn’t sure what she’d do without her childish human.

Dash got closer to the ground. Her previous birds-eye view hadn’t helped, so she figured getting a closer look around would yield more results.

“I still can’t believe Lyra had to take that darn statue…”

Dash’s ear twitched at the mention of a statue. She turned her head, seeing a slightly irritated Bonbon walking off to Sugarcube Corner. Dash raised an eyebrow, wondering if the ‘statue’ she was referring to is actually her frozen boyfriend.

She landed on the ground, and ran off to the muttering mare.

“Hey… Uh.”

Bonbon looked towards the sound of her voice, seeing Rainbow Dash walking next to her.

“Yes, Rainbow Dash?” She raised an eyebrow.

“I heard something about a statue. Uh, I wanted to ask you something about it.”

Bonbon stopped walking, catching Dash off guard. “Oh?”

Dash turned around to face the mare. “Was the ‘statue’ in front of the Golden Oak Library?”

Bonbon nodded.

“I heard Lyra took it?”

Bonbon nodded again.

“‘Kay, well, I want it back.” Dash bluntly stated. “It’s my statue, don’t ask why it was in front of the library, I didn’t put it there.”

“Oh!” Bonbon’s eyes widened. “I knew there was a reason why that statue was there!”

“So. Uh. Yeah. Can I have it back?” Dash sheepishly smiled.

“Of course!” Bonbon nodded enthusiastically, “I’ll even take you to it myself! And… For the record, I told her not to take it.”

Dash blinked. “Wow… That was easy…”

Godson reflected on the past hour he stood in front of the shrine. Lyra had came once or twice to mutter random crap about humans. And sometimes she’d just smile at the ‘statue’ whenever she passed by.

The longer he stayed here, the more he wanted to see Rainbow Dash again.

“The statue’s down the hall, to the right.”

“Bonbon! What are you doing!?”

“That statue you took belongs to Rainbow Dash!”

“Then what was it doing in front of Golden Oak?”

Dash walked in the room. “Finally…” She sighed of relief. “I found you…”

Lyra quickly ran in the room. “Why do you even have this statue anyway?”

Dash raised an eyebrow. “Why do you want it?” She looked back at Godson, and noticed all the paintings and human-related objects all placed together in a shrine. Immediately, she went wide-eyed. “Uh. Okayyyyyy…”

“It’s just a statue, Rainbow Dash! Why not let me keep it? It’d be better off with me, anyway!”

“Uhh.. No… It needs to go back home.” Dash paused for a moment. “With me.”

“It’s just a dumb statue!” Lyra whined. “You’re just gonna stuff it in some closet and not care about it!”

“How would you know?” Dash asked. “What if I have my own human shrine?”

“Do you?”

“...No. But that’s not the point!”

“Then what are you gonna do with it!?”

“If you wanna see, then help me take it back to Twilight’s.”

Lyra looked at the statue, which seemed to be looking directly at Dash, instead of straight ahead. She shook her head, and saw it looking straight ahead again. She looked back at Dash, who kept an irritated look.

“Fine.” Lyra groaned. “But I wanna see what you’re gonna do with it.”

“Fine by me.” Dash chuckled at a new thought. “This is gonna be… interesting.”

Twilight opened her door. “Dash… I can’t find hi—”

“I did.” Dash smiled. Pointing at the statue behind her. “And, uh, if you don’t mind, I brought Lyra to see something.”

Twilight turned her head to the unicorn, then back at Dash. “That’s fine.”

She walked up to the frozen human, her horn illuminating in a purple glow as she got closer and closer.

“What’s she doing…?” Lyra whispered.

Soon enough, the human started glowing in the same purple glow. Little by little, he was starting to be able to move. It started as tiny movements from his fingers, until he was fully able to move again.

Once Twilight’s aura vanished off of his body, he went completely limp, falling over on the floor.

Dash ran up to him. Leaving Lyra gawking and wide-eyed.

Godson was quickly lifted up to his knees by a pair of cyan hooves. The ones that belonged to the mare he thought he wouldn’t see again. Groaning, he lifted his head in an attempt to see her face.

“You alright?” She asked.

“Yeah…” He attempted to nod, though instead of doing so, he winced as he tried. “Just… not moving for an hour or so kinda has me cramping… everywhere.”

“At least you’re back.” Dash sighed of relief.

“Were you worried about me?”

“No!” Dash retorted. “...Yes.”

“Heh…” Godson chuckled. “I was too…”

Dash pulled the human closer, allowing her to wrap her hooves around him. She stood up on her rear legs with wings flared open as she tried to help her boyfriend stand.

“Dash?”

“Hm?”

“Trying to help me stand isn’t... well… helping.”

“Need me to carry you home?” Dash queried.

“Please?” Godson asked softly.

“Ugh.” Dash groaned. “Sure… But you’ll have to owe me something when you can stand again.”

Godson smiled warmly. “Of course. Love you, Dashie.”

Dash smiled back. “Love you too.” She reached her head forward, locking lips with the human.

Meanwhile, Lyra remained watching, completely confused over the events that transpired in front of her.

“What… What just happened…?”

Dash broke apart from the kiss, turning her head to the confused unicorn.

“You wanted to know what I was gonna do with the statue? This was it.” Dash smirked. “Lyra. Meet Godson. He’s not a statue. He never was…”

“So…” Lyra walked up to the human, whom was still wrapped in his marefriend’s hooves. “All this time… it wasn’t a statue…”

“Blame Twilight…” Godson rolled his eyes. “She wanted to test a spell, I let her, and the next thing I know, I’m kidnapped by a human-crazed mare.”

“B-But… You’re actually real!”

“So?”

“That’s… amazing! Are there more of you?”

“I’m the only one.” Godson replied.

“And he’s mine.” Dash added.

“And you two are… dating?”

Dash nodded, speaking for both her and the human. “Yep! We’re officially dating!”

“O-Oh!” Lyra went wide-eyed. “I-I’m sorry for uh… stealing you… like that…”

“Let’s just pretend it didn’t happen.” Godson attempted to shake his head, but fail ultimately. “It’s all Twilight’s fault anyway.”

“Speaking of Twilight…” Dash spoke, turning around just a little bit to be able to turn her head to the mare behind her. “No more testing spells on my boyfriend!” She pointed a hoof at her. “You can test spells on me, on Spike, doesn’t matter. But no more testing them on Godson.”

“Wha… Fine…” Twilight groaned. “I won’t test spells on him anymore…”

“Good.” Dash nodded, looking back to her human.

“Alright, can, uh… can we go home?” Godson asked. “I’m thirsty…”

“Oooh… Thirsty, huh? I know the per—”

“Get your mind out of the gutter, Dashie. I need water.”

“Hmph. You’re no fun.”