Ponies and Dragons (Just Have Fun)

by Alex Warlorn

Rating: teen
Tags: Trixie, Spike, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Shining Armor, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Main 6
Length: 1149539

A peek at various times of the Mane Six, Spike, and friends, all play Dungeons and Dragons/Ogres and Oubliettes, Paranoia, Call of Ponythulu, Toon, an adaption of themselves, and just about every other role playing game under Celestia's sun.

MADE IT TO POPULAR STORIES! UPDATE! MADE IT TO MAIN PAGE RECOMMENDED BOX!

"Okay everypony! Time to play Oubliettes and Ogres!" Twilight said, holding up the reference book like the ponies hadn't seen it multiple times before.

Pinkie Pie clapped her hooves. "Oh silly-filly, we can say 'Dungeons and Dragons' we're both owned by Hasbro!" She was ignored.

"Dungeons and Dragons, I mean, Oubliettes and Ogres? Don't you know that's Nightmare Moon's game?" The Doctor gasped sticking his head through the window.

Princess Luna pushed him out of the way and stuck her in the window and shouted, "Just because we were mad with jealous and bruised ego, does NOT mean all our hobbies at the time were themselves evil!"

Twilight Sparkle blinked and uncurled an ancient scroll examining it closely. "At least that explains the ancient 'Slay the Tyrant Sun' campaign module from the ancient first editions I found in the Castle of the Two Sisters."

Luna blushed.

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

However, except for the opening set-up post, each post should be more self contained, if say (in joke) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

There are prototype rules and may change with time.

It's also intended to be an INDEPENDENT UNIVERSE from the Pony POV Series OR the Pinkie Pie Variety Show! So things aren't esoteric.

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

Basic rule: EVERYONE IS IN CHARACTER!!!!

Cover image by SolanumEpidemic

TROPE PAGE LINK:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Published 2015-09-02 04:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-08-15 16:30:03 UTC

Session 2

Session 2.0 (Kendell2)

"Wait..." Fluttershy asked, eyes wide. "There's a module about us?"

Twilight nodded, the board all set up. "Yes, my brother pulled some strings with an old friend of his, it'll be being sold soon! The first module is about Nightmare Moon, extending it into a fantasy adventure."

Pinkie Pie giggled, looking at herself on the box. "Cool!"

"Oh yeah! Now this is my kind of game!" Rainbow Dash smirked.

"Are we going to get paid for this?" Rarity questioned. She was thankful Shining's friend hadn't shown her as an overly sexualized amazon or something.

"Yeah, as soon as it's in production we'll get royalties."

"Alright, sounds good tah me! So who's game master?"

The six ponies blinked, looking at one another, for once all of them wanting to be players, given it was their own story.

Session 2.1 (Alex Warlorn)

"Like me, duh." Spike said matter of fact. "Considering I was ASLEEP for that adventure." He gave Twilight the stink eye.

"You're a BABY dragon Spike, you were asleep on your feet as was," Twilight said.

"Well, now I get to be master of your fates that night! Also, after we're done with this adventure, we can play the next module." Spike held up another box, this one showing Rarity in a dress with a coned hat with a veil, wailing to be saved surrounded by burly diamond dogs. Charging towards them was a manly man version of Spike carrying a lance riding on Twilight.

"Help save Sir Spike heroically save the helpless damsel Princess Rarity from the great and terrible Diamond Dogs?" Rainbow Dash read the description.

Rarity said politely. "Me thinks there were some creative liberties taken with that module."

"Didn't the Diamond Dog Kingdom demand a recalling of that module and a formal apology since it was enforcing negative stereotypes of their people?" Twilight asked.

"Well Diamond Dogs aren't the bosses of Equestria and we have a right to be entertained how we wanna be," Spike grinned.

Session 2.2 (Ardashir)

"Him say Diamond Dogs violent barbarians that make slaves of ponies? Is insult! We dig into company office and drag nasty-bad pony off to work in mine forever as punishment!"

"Not helping, Rover."

-

"Okay," Rainbow Dash said. "But then we do THIS one next." She triumphantly set down a module before them. On the cover was a picture of Dash, bearing both the Wonderbolts and a gaudily made-up Rarity to safety from their fall.

"Oh dear!" Rarity blushed. "They made a game about that little, ahem, boo-boo?" She picked up the module and read it. "'Save the noble Wonderbolts and that grandstanding publicity hound Rarity' -- WHA-AAA-AAT? Rainbow Dash!" She gave the laughing pegasus a glare that promised death. "Is this supposed to be funny??"

"Yeah, Rares, sheesh," Dash laughed. "We know better and anypony who ever bothers to read the official account will know better. What's bugging you?" She snickered. "I mean, just because they made you look like a circus clown..."

"It was stage makeup!"

"Umm, you really did look better without it, though." Fluttershy blushed at Rarity's glare. The unicorn only relaxed when her friends nodded.

"Humph." Rarity snorted. She looked at the piled modules. "Wait, how many of these things are there?"

"Ooh, here's another one!" Pinkie Pie snatched one up with a cover depicting a blue unicorn mare with a wizard's hat and cloak, facing off against a giant bear made of stars. "'Play the Great and Powerful and not in the least Egotistical Trixie as she saves Ponyville and the hapless Element Bearers from a problem created by Twilight Sparkle's miscast spells'?"

Twilight's eyes went wide. "WHAT?"

"Gee, Ah wonder who was the consultant on that one," Applejack said as she looked at her character sheet.

Session 2.3 (Alex Warlorn)

The modules had come with pregenerated character sheets of each of the Elements of Harmony. While Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie had voted to swap them around for fun's sake, the others wanted to stick to themselves for now.

"HEY! Mah Intelligence is NOT an 8!" 0 was for mindless, 1 for raw instinct, 2-3 for animal intellect, while 10 was considered average, and 18 for genius.

Rainbow Dash sniggered. "I dunno! Sounds generous to me!"

"Please forgive me Applejack dear, but your formal education is wanting," Rarity said politely.

"They better have given me a Dexterity of 25 or higher." Then Rainbow Dash frowned. "What the-?! Why is my wisdom a 7?!"

"Yer right, that is might generous!" Applejack laughed.

"My intelligence is 20 but my wisdom is only 10?" Twilight said looking at hers.

Spike shrugged. Seeing nothing wrong with that appeasement.

"Oh look Rarity your Charisma is 18!" Pinkie Pie smiled.

"Of course darling."

"And mine is 20 and Fluttershy's is 22!"

"WHAT?!" Rarity exclaimed.

"Pinkie Pie," Twilight said looking at the pre-gen character sheet of her. "Do you have ANY stats that are below 15?"

"Well, I can juggle and rid a unicycle at the same time, I can organize the biggest parities in the country, I'm friends with every pony in Ponyville, I know to laugh your fears away and how great it is to smile, I worked on a rock farm, and you girls have said I have the strongest stomach out of us, so really I don't see why I should." Pinkie Pie said innocently.

Everypony groaned.

Session 2.4 (Alex Warlorn)

"And the brilliant, witty, and handsome Time Lord disables the Imperial Dalek's master computer while humming a merry tune." Said Time Turner from behind the screen.

"I thought we were playing a fantasy setting," Lyra admitted.

"We were," Bon Bon whispered frowning darkly.

"Did my last spell get through to the aliens yet?" Octavia asked.

"Sorry, your bard spell has no effect on them, it seems your only chance is to buy time for the Time Lord."

Vinyl Scratch 'said' nothing. She merely waited patently until the alien space-ship was blown up along with the alien invaders in the land of Doctoria, and her werewolf/unicorn/sorcerous was carrying Octavia's 'exterminated aristocrat/bard' promising Octavia she'd get her resurrected at the next temple of the goddess Rose they came to. Derpy insisted her rogue kept giving the goddess statue the stink eye.

Vinyl Scratch horn glowed, displaying a picture of her character and Doctor Hooves PC GM. Running him through.

"You-YOU WHAT? Well, he just regenerates even more good looking, and ginger, and-"

Vinyl Scratch character tied him up while was regenerating, threw him into a pocket universe travel bag, tied it up, and tossed it down a well.

Doctor Whooves just started for five minutes before saying, "Uh, would somepony else like to Dungeon Master?"

Session 2.5 (Ardashir and Alex Warlorn)

Fluttershy gasp-squeeked at the skills listed on her sheet.

"Oh, this can't be true!"

"What's wrong, dear?" Rarity looked at her own sheet. "They didn't say something offensive, did they? Not like -- WHAT!" Rarity glared. "'Can use Bluff skill for seduction'? And '+4 when in full vamp mode'?? Are they saying that I use my nothing but my looks to manipulate stallions?" She looked up. None of her friends looked her in the eye, seeming vastly interested in the floor or walls. "Girls, you can't believe this is true! I also use my wit, my charm, my sense of class..."

"Uhh, what was wrong with your character sheet, Fluttershy?" Twilight grinned, hoping to head off the furious unicorn.

"It's just..." She turned crimson and handed it to Twilight.

"Oh! I can see what the problem is." Fluttershy turned even redder as Twilight read from the sheet. "Maxed-out Diplomacy and Intimidate? '++4 on Diplomacy to appear cute and helpless, +4 on Intimidate when friends threatened'? Reputation as loveliest non-alicorn mare in Equestria?"

"Well, it's kinda true," Applejack said. "Remember how them stallions used to visit town just ta try and get a date with ya, 'Shy?"

"I do. I still get fan mail from lonely stallions and colts from my modeling career days," Fluttershy pinned her ears back, embarrassed. "Some of those letters get so steamy, and this will make it worse."

Rarity glared and ground her teeth in fury. "Twilight dear, I want to have a talk with that friend of your brother. Look at these disadvantages he gave me! 'Vain'? 'Greedy'? A 'Social Climber'? Hmmph!" She tossed her mane back with one hoof. "How could anyone look at moi and see a vain mare?"

Rarity, "And greedy, GREEDY?! Is THAT why you wanted me to play a 'rogue?' "

"No, because you're the cunning one..." Twilight answered.

Fluttershy peaked. "Um...generosity is still a 'strength', Rarity."

"I mean seriously! If I'm greedy what does that make Suri?!"

"A jerk," Rainbow Dash replied.

"Rainbow Dash has 'pride' listed as one of her flaws," Applejack pointed out. "Doesn't mean that means you don't have STRENGTHS."

"Sorry girls," Rarity sighed, "It just seems like I'm constantly being compared to Suri as of late. And shouldn't 'greedy' and 'generous' cancel each other out from a game perspective?"

"Only if they're equal," Twilight replied. "Generosity must outweigh greed."

Rarity grunted. "I should certainly hope so! I still find this character flaw an affront and am going to demand a revision be released."

"What's 'bipolar' mean?" Pinkie Pie asked innocently her nose to her character sheet.

"Uh, let's just play!" Spike said sweeting.

Session 2.6 (MtangaLion and bit by Alex at the end)

Pinkie Pie bucked Twilight's door open, trotted into the library backwards with a basket balanced on her nose, then flipped the basket onto the table without spilling a single cupcake. "Hi, girls! Sorry I couldn't be here last time!"

"It's alright," drawled Applejack. "We got Big Mac to fill in for ya."

"He was really something," said Rainbow Dash, lounging on a miniature cloud. "Heh, I nearly busted a gut laughing at all those puns. And that speech!"

Pinkie Pie froze, making a sound like she'd stepped on a squeaky toy. "Huh? Puns? Speech?!"

"Yep!" said Twilight brightly. "Spike asked him how he'd convince the Diamond Dogs to let Rarity go, and he actually gave a speech in-character."

Pinkie twitched. "But, Big Mac doesn't..."

"Doesn't what, darling?" said Rarity.

"You know!" cried Pinkie, waving her hooves. "He never says anything but..."

Fluttershy peered closely at her friend. "Pinkie Pie, are you feeling alright?"

"You know Big Mac," said Twilight, chuckling and shaking her head. "Once he gets going, you can hardly shut him up. Spike actually gave him extra experience points for roleplaying so well."

Pinkie started giggling uncontrollably. "Oh. Oh, I get it! We're doing the Morn thing! Heehee! Did you know this was coming?" The camera started to pan away from her, but Pinkie lunged and grabbed hold of it, looking it right in the eye. "Did YOU know this was coming? ME NEITHER!"

AJ learned towards Twilight. "Ah know she's Pinkie Pie and all, but Ah worry about that filly sometimes..."

And AJ said to her pink friend, "Pinkie Pie, my brother talked to me in full sentences when he was telling me how stubborn I was being for trying to buck the entire orachard by myself."

"Well, I guess that WAS before his character was flanderized."

"Flander-what?"

"Oh nothing."

Session 2.7 (Kendell2) (As with the post that started this.)

"Alright, we've got our high tier weapons, the best armor, and a lot of potions of various types," Twilight said, laying out the plan.

"Yep, and even got a weapon with an advantage on the undead," Applejack replied. "This is an undead dungeon, right?"

"Skeletons," Spike, the game master, pointed out.

"Alright, let's go already! Enough prep work! We've spent like three or four sessions setting it up!" Rainbow Dash replied impatiently.

"Wait...what the..." Rainbow Dash said, jaw dropping as she looked at the little marker on the game board, a little blue flag marking the dungeon.

They'd been sharing the campaign setting with Trixie, Gilda, and her friend Greta (who visited along with her) whenever they visited. When the Bearers conquered an area, they marked it with a rainbow colored flag, when that trio did they marked it with bllue flags.

"Uh...looks like Trixie beat us to it..." replied Rarity, causing Rainbow Dash's eye to begin twitching.

"...What?!"

"...We didn't call it..." Fluttershy quietly pointed out. "They didn't know..."

"We spent WEEKS prepping for this and the dungeon is already cleared! Now what?!"

"Uh..." Spike did several checks. "There are a group of Chaotic Cultists are holding a dark ritual outside."

"Fine, whatever, let's settle for them," Rainbow Dash replied with a huff.

"What?!"

The group had managed to put down two of the three Clerics, and the Knights they summoned, but the last one managed to wipe them out at the last minute while they were dealing with the last Knight.

"Rare spawn," Spike noted.

"Who decided to put those in?!" Rainbow sighed.

"You did."

The pegasus face faulted. "Uh...quick! Put on enchanted golden apples and let's finish the guy off!"

One eating of the enchanted golden apples, the group rushed back to where they died before...before Spike finished calculating damage.

"Uh...the guy died..."

"WHAT?!" Rainbow asked, then coughed, robbing her now sore throat.

"Rarity stabbed him and has a 'bleed' skill. He bled out..."

"So we...just wasted our potions?"

"Uh...yeah..."

Rainbow Dash proceeded to slam her head into the table.

Session 2.8 (BrutalityInc)

"What sort of module is this?" Twilight asked, as she read through the papers and maps Shining Armor brought with him, "This doesn't look like any module I ever heard of."

"You wouldn't had. This is a home-brew campaign that I and my buddies back in Canterlot cooked up." Shining Armor explained. "8-Bit is currently planning to have this published as its own game with its own Role-Playing System, but we're sticking to O&O 3.5 for now."

"Seems quite ghastly from the looks of it; not the game itself, mind you." Rarity said, examining the cover-page Point-Dexter designed, "'Terrornauts: Enemy from the Depths'. I don't presume this is a horror game?"

"No, it isn't. Basically, the premise is that you play as members of an international paramilitary organization, Terrornauts, established to protect the world from attack by a mysterious and hostile subterranean civilization, the Chthonians."

"That sounds like something out of G.I. Mustang and Pony-Former cartoons!" Rainbow Dash noticed, her excitement apparent, as was that of Pinkie Pie "If that's the case, then I'm all in for it!"

"That was actually where we got the idea from for the campaign; we loved the two series back when we were kids." Shining Armor confirmed with a smile, happy to see another fellow fan. Then he returned to explaining the game "Of course, we gave it a serious, deconstructive and realistic spin on it. It's less of a game and more, as Point-Dexter likes to put it, a 'Planetary Defense Simulator'. There's two separate layers in the game: A tactical layer where you get to play as elite soldiers that travel the world, fighting the Chthonians with the latest armor, weapons and magic the combined resources of the modern world could develop. And a strategic layer, you get to play those who run the organization: directing missions to intercept Chthonian attacks, researching to understand the enemy, researching finance, and develop new technology and weapons for the fight."

"Oh, now this sounds like a great game!" Now it was Twilight's turn to be interested. Seeing all the gazes by her friends "What? How often do you have a deep and immersive game like this?"

"Be advised, though, this may be a tad more challenging than your usual O&O campaigns." Shining Armor warned, suddenly sounding very ominous, "Thanks to my consultation for all things warfare related as a Royal-Guard-Captain-turned-Prince-Consort, we made the game such that is is military science fiction in its most unrelenting form. You are fighting an alien empire more far more advanced in science and magic than modern Equestria, meaning you'll start out very out-classed facing enemies far more powerful than your characters. Combat will be frantic, random and intense. You will feel the weight of command as you are forced make tough choices. You will have to balance the needs of many nations who would not like financing someone who couldn't protect them. Thunderlane was worried that the game may be a bit too... hardcore, in terms of difficulty, especially for most normal players."

"Come on now, sugar-cube. Yer makin' it sound like we can't handle too much action." Applejack brushed off the stallion's warning with a wave of her hooves "Like Pinkie said before, we faced Dark Magic, Monsters and Evil Overlords on a yearly basis. How hardcore could this possibly be compare tah 'em?"

= = =

"The Assault Transport Airship is arriving at the location." Shining Armor said from his place at the DM panel, giving the mares the mission brief. "The area is a deserted rural town. Magitech sensors detects no enemy combatants, but be on alert for possible hostiles. Eliminate all enemies in area to win this mission"

"Alright, this is our first tactical mission, and a night mission at that too." Twilight said to the rest of her friends. "We don't know what our characters would be facing, but I think if we do this carefully, and stick to our preliminary plans - !"

"My rookie pegasus soldier hot-jumps out of the airship!" RD cries out, "Let's go kick some under-worlder flanks!"

"Cornsarnit, Rainbow Dash! You had one job!" Applejack exclaimed, annoyed at her friend's impulsiveness.

"Your rookie soldier flies out of the gondola... and is immediately caught in a crossfire between two bright, crimson arcane beams, firing from hidden vantage points of the buildings that you can barely see in the dark." Shining Armor said "Roll for evasive!"

So it was, less than five minutes into the campaign, Rainbow Dash's rookie became the first of many, MANY Terrornaut casualties in what would become a very hard and desperate struggle against a ruthless and very competent adversary bent on conquering and destroying the surface world.

The rest of the mission only went downhill from there.

Session 2.9 (Alex Warlorn)

The Mane Six sat at Sugar Cube Corner. Around the round table, unhappily eating their cupcakes.

"Well, that... that wasn't so bad." Pinkie Pie uncharacteristically meekly offered.

"'Wasn't so bad?' We were dying every five minutes in that game of your brother's Twilight!" Rainbow retorted.

"So were we in Trixie's Paranoia Structure campaign darling," Rarity said simply.

"At least we were having FUN dying every five minutes!" Rainbow retorted.

"Ah was dyin' every two minutes with Trixie," AJ grumbled.

Twilight was going over papers and graphs with little study glasses an a pencil behind one ear. "Girls, I've crunched the numbers, and the truth is, we simply can't win. We're technologically, numerically, and logistically inferior to the Chthonians on every front. Combined with the simple reality that BBFFF is naturally better at military tactics than any of us combined with real-life fighting experience, we can't tactically out maneuver them either."

"Are you saying your brother rigged the game?" AJ asked.

"NO! BBFFF would never do that!" Twilight slammed a hoof on the table. "What I'm saying is, how we've been playing, even if we reign in Rainbow impulsiveness, Fluttershy's, er-"

"Fearfulness?" Fluttershy offered.

"Let's go with that. And the like, the best we can really hope for is a pyrrhic victory."

"We're going to use psychic powers?" Rainbow Dash asked.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "No Rainbow, I mean that Equestria and the rest of the world will be in such bad shape it might be easier to let the Chthonians conquer the planet and then stage a rebellion."

"No way," AJ said firmly.

"I know I had to learn when to fold them when I had Tank's first winter with me, but not this time." Rainbow Dash.

The girls looked at each other.

"What?" Rainbow asked.

Rarity gave her most diplomatic smiled. "Rainbow Dash darling. Please understand. We know you have to keep dates and schedules straight in order to manage Ponyville's whether team, you wouldn't still be Weather Team Captain if you weren't good at it. But please, remember when Pinkie Pie forgot her own birthday, our mare who remembers everypony else's birthday without fail?"

Rainbow shuddered. "I remember meeting her 'special friends'."

"I remember. I was so swept up in Gummy's birthday it slipped my mind."

"So please understand this isn't a put down of you. But you seemed to have forgotten something important."

"What?"

"Dash, you had a winter with Tank already, remember? More than one! Remember the Hearth Warming Eve play in Canterlot? That was AFTER you got Tank! And it certainly wasn't AFTER I became a Princess over a year ago!"

" . . . Oh yeah . . ." Rainbow Dash blushed. "Heheh . . . I guess that slipped my mind too."

"Now, I didn't say we should just given in. The problem is that we haven't been trying to solve this fight the pony way," Twilight said.

"I don't think these guys are gonna stop invading the surface world if we offer them free cupcakes Twilight," Rainbow Dash said.

"I'd offer them cake, not cupcakes." Pinkie corrupted.

"All the same, that wasn't what I was thinking. I think I've discovered the perfect way to break my brother's game." Twilight smiled.

"'Break'? Isn't that mean Twilight?" Fluttershy asked worried.

"Fluttershy Fluttershy," Twilight grinned. "We're BBBFF's play testers, it's our responsibility to find any game breaking bugs or exploits. Now we will be able to do this only once if my brother is as smart as I know he is and he closes the door on the rules so we'll have to make it count."

"And it'll make a great funny story for the development phase when your brother's game becomes super popular!" Pinkie Pie said.

"Yes Pinkie Pie, that is absolute right." Twilight nodded.

"Twilight dear, have you been taking lessons from Trixie?"

"Now what would ever make you say that? Now let's get this great and powerful show on the road! Fluttershy . . ."

"Yes Twilight?"

"I'm afraid you're going to have to make some sacrifices in game."

-

"This is your new character?" Shining Armor asked, somewhat bewildered. "A sixteen year old filly from neighpon?"

Fluttershy nodded hiding her eyes.

"And you . . . maxed out ranks with in Diplomacy and Performance, and you put all your stat bonuses in Charisma? Are you sure you gave me the right character sheet?"

Fluttershy blushed and just nodded silently.

"Well, okay, I'm guessing you want to work a negotiator, or a propagandist, I didn't think you were into that sort of play style."

"Not quite BBBFF," Twilight said patting Fluttershy on the back.

"Rarity your characters include . . . dress making, choreography, management, special effects and- Girls are you sure you know what game we're playing tonight?"

"Oh most assuredly."

"We're just taking an original approach. The Chthonians have us out gunned, and out numbered, you said we'd need to be clever to win this. My character has maxed out ranks in decipher script, language, decoding, and the like plus researching captured technology."

Pinkie Pie offered. "And I've put ranks into pirate broadcasts, and-"

"WHAT are you girls planning?" Shining Armor exclaimed.

Twilight grinned with a glint. "Let's play and find out."

"Okay," Shining Armor said politely, "Just don't blame me if whatever crazy scheme born of desperate blows up in your faces."

-

"Excuse me? You what?"

"Having cracked the Chthonian codes, we broadcast Fluttershy's single across their communication waves."

" . . . The Chthonian are confused and befuddled, and change their communication codes, confused to why you'd utterly waste their chance to gather more intelligence from them."

"Actually Shining, I'd like to point out, the Chthonian have no real way to know what Fluttershy's newest single IS! It only makes sense they'd try their hardest to analyze it, listening to it over and over."

"Sure, fine."

Shining Armor was confused when the mare high hoofed.

"Stage one complete." Twilight declared.

"Now the real work begins darlings."

"Did you hide some kind of computer virus in that song or something?" Shining Armor asked.

"Oh no no no." Twilight said, "It's just a song. Fluttershy, now."

"Oh! Okay! Shining Armor, I make a performance and diplomacy roll to synchronize a heart song at my next performance between myself, my fans, and the Chthonians listening to my single."

"Now hold on! You can't do that!"

"Cadence did it with Chrysalis, and they hate each other." Twilight Sparkle pointed out.

Her brother shuddered remembering that song he'd been a smiling zombie for.

"Sorry big brother."

" . . . roll." He sighed.

-

" . . . The position you abandoned for the Chthonian to capture is taken with no causalities and minimal damage." Shining Armor sighed, a vein throbbing. "They find the data disks with Fluttershy's image and take them for further analysis . . . some unites in the recon squad taking some for themselves." Armor added feeling sick at the results of his own dice.

-

Dice rolled. When Shining saw the result.

"AAGGH! The Chthonian recon drone instead of self destructing begins dancing to the music of Fluttershy's concert too! He asks for your autograph afterwards! He addresses you as your Songstress!"

"Oh my." Fluttershy blushed.

Her friends grinned.

-

Shinning Armor slammed his hoof down, his little sister had had her fun, but now it was time to get this campaign back on track. "The Chthonian members of the the Cult of Fluttershy are publicly executed!"

"Which means they're now martyrs to the cause," Twilight reminded her brother.

Shining laid his head down and let out a garbled noise.

-

Some time later, miles away, Cadence swore she faintly heard her husband say words she didn't want him later saying around their foal she now carried within her.

Shining Armor shouted, "The Chthonian central command declares every Chthonian on the surface 'infected' by pony culture to be exterminated along with the ponies!!" Silence.

Shining Armor caught himself, realizing only now what he just said, what he had just DONE. "Uh, that is-"

"We'll gladly accept the disenfranchised Chthonian as fellow lovers of music and offer them to be peacefully accepted by the surface ponies."

Shining Armor looked like his face wanted to break in two vertically. "The . . . disowned Chthonian forces . . . accept your offer and offer in return a military alliance. Providing vast amounts of intel and technology."

--

=SDF Macross - Do You Remember Love?=

Between sobs of misery Shining Armor said, "Y-yes, your transforming mecha breaks through the Chthonian central command chamber as the all out assault of combined Equus and Chthonian troops and machines distract its defenses, and you have a clear shot of the Chthonian Supreme Command Brain."

"Howdy-hoo! I nail that sucker!" Rainbow Dash tossed the dice.

"It dies screaming cursing pony pop stars for ever existing!"

-

A broken stallion, Shining Armor whimpered. "The surviving Chthonian happily accept the offer to live in peace with the surface, and hold a concert in honor of Fluttershy, thousands cheer for the end of the war."

"There there BBBFF." Twilight said. "Your mistake was setting this adventure on Equus. I'll ask Sunset to give you notes on the world on the other side of the mirror, heart songs don't seem to function there as strongly if at all, which is what I really think is what you're looking for."

Shining Armor maturely accepted the peace offering. "Thanks Twilight."

"Now who wants to play Burrows and Bunnies next time?" Fluttershy offered politely.

Shining Armor raised his hoof.

"ME! I can't believe that happened, and I Dungeon Mastered it! You conquered a technologically and military superior enemy with popculture?!"

"It's the world we live in darling." Rarity said.

Miles upon miles away, Yearling, groaning at her publisher, Random Stable and TPR were asking for a joint venture in making Daring Do and the Ring of Destiny part of their 'Element of Harmony' campaign. She had explicitly used expy of Rainbow and her friends to avoid this mess! She got enough flack from her fans saying she'd dated the story by including them. There was a knock at her door.

She opened it find several changelings, all looking doe eyed at her, each holding a copy of the latest Daring Do. "I'll set up the signing table," Yearling groaned. The young changelings cheered.

Session 2.10 (MtangaLion)

Big Mac nosed his way into Sugarcube Corner's back room, puzzled to find the gaming table set up, but only Pinkie Pie present. "Hello? Am Ah early?"

"Nope!" said Pinkie brightly. "You're right on time! I thought we'd try a little one-on-one roleplaying..." The pink mare gave him a sultry smile and fanned her face with the dungeon master's screen. "... to get you over your camera shyness!"

Big Mac jumped in place, glancing from side to side. He lifted a big hoof to his mouth and whispered, "Miss Pie, Ah don't think we're supposed to talk about the C-A-M-"

"Don't worry about it!" Pinkie trotted away to Mac's left. He turned his head to follow her, and she startled him by nosing him on his right. "I never do. I really like hearing that big, deep voice of yours, and I want to hear a lot more of it!"

Big Mac blushed. "Well, Ah suppose we can try yer roleplaying treatment... but Ah've tried before and it didn't amount ta nothing'! Ah go an' get mah confidence up... Ah think Ah'm ready as Ah'm a-gonna be, and then suddenly Ah'm in the spotlight and Ah just clam up, and it's nothin' but eeeyup! and eeenope!" He snorted, grinding a hoof on the carpet. "It's just so frustratin'!"

Pinkie got right in his face, repressing a giggle. "Guess what?" She reached out, then pulled her hoof back with a piece of black electrical tape stuck to it. "The camera's been on the whole time, silly! I just stuck this over the little red light."

Big Mac stared. "Well Ah'll be!" He pondered this a while, then grinned, motioning towards the door. "Let's go fer a walk. Ah feel like singin'!"

Session 2.11 (Trooper924)

"Psst, Bon Bon," Lyra whispered to her roommate. "Do you know what's going on?"

Bon Bon suppressed an urge to give an exasperated groan. "Weren't you paying attention when Octavia was talking?" she whispered back. "It was only, like, five minutes ago!"

"Sorry, I was looking over the spells I could cast."

Back at game, Time Turner was carefully considering his options. "I look to the east."

"You see a wooden bridge running across a wide river off in distance," said Octavia from behind the DM screen.

"I look to the west."

"You see a large mountain off in the horizon, but otherwise nothing else of interest."

"We're at Dream Valley," Bon Bon quickly explained under her breath. "We're a band of heroes who've been recruited by the ruler of the land to find her missing general."

"Neat," said Lyra.

"I look to the south?" asked Time Turner.

"You see a large, foreboding forest. It looks dangerous and would be unwise to try to enter it."

Hmm...Hold on, I know how you work. I look up."

"You see several large, dark shapes circling ominously in the sky. They look too large to be birds."

"I rejoin the others and alert them to the creatures. And that's my turn."

"Lyra, you're up," Octavia said to the unicorn.

"I am? Cool!" Lyra rubbed her hooves together. "Okay, so scary dark thingys in the sky. I guess there's only one thing to do!"

"Please don't do anything stupid," whispered Bon Bon.

"I shoot a fireball at the thingys!"

"...like that."

"You have to roll the dice, Lyra," said Octavia.

"Oh, right." Lyra picked up the dice with her magic, shook it around a bit, and dropped it onto the table. "Um, 2. That's good, right?"

Octavia raised her eyebrow at the unicorn. "Your fireball goes wildly off course, fizzling out several meters from it's target. With a horrible screech, the creatures swoop down towards you and your companions. Up close, you realize that they are actually deadly stratodons with massive blood stained claws."

"Oh. So it's not a good thing."

"Nope. Everyone roll for initiative."

Session 2.12 (Kendell2)

"I disprove the Dark Wizard's magic using my logic skill. It violates at least nine laws of magic and therefore must be bluffing," Twilight said, sitting at the table, Spike as Game Master.

"Your logic is exactly right...but he tries to vaporize you anyway," Spike replied.

"What?! how?!"

Spike chuckled. "Your character is a dimensional displaced mage, her home world's magic runs on different laws, so all she did was make him angry."

Twilight blinked, looking at her character bio a look over. "...Darn it!"

Session 2.13 (BrutalityInc)

"No."

"No what, AJ?" Rainbow asked, confused.

"Ah don't wanna deal w' this." AJ said, her irritation apparent in her tone. "Ah can git that teh settin' is supposed tah be weird, but this is just plain silly."

"Applejack, darling, we're playing adventuring merchants in what Twilight calls a 'Ptolemaic universe', where solar systems are encased in giant crystal spheres floating in a substance called phlogiston, where travel between worlds involves sailing through the interplanetary void using magical sail ships." Rarity noted, "It does sound nonsensical, but it is hardly Discord's level of nonsensical. Even Twilight got comfortable and rolled with it after her obligatory astrophysics lecture."

"It's this 'ere space pirate we're fightin' right now..." AJ explained.

"So? We fought a few of them back in that Space Quest campaign." Rainbow Dash recalled.

"But this 'ere fella is a giant talkin' HAMSTER!"

Session 2.14 (Ardashir)

"Okay, girls tonight's game is going to be something special." Twilight smiled at her friends. A tray holding several drinks hovered nearby.

"It must really be special," Dash looked at the room, empty save for several pillows. "Where's the game books? The dice? The snacks?"

"Oh, we won't be needing those," Twilight began handing the drinks out to her friends. "We're going to be playing in Ravenloft again."

"Oh dear!" Fluttershy hid behind her wings.

"It'll be different this time!" Twilight set the empty tray down. "We'll be having a special GM for the night. You know how I've been talking to Princess Luna about catching up with modern pony culture? Well..."

"Wait, wait, now, Princess Luna is going to be running this here game?" Applejack looked wary. She looked sleepy, but shook herself and said, "Ah thought she was mad when those Artstable fellas did that 'new expansion' that made all our old enemies inta Ravenloft Darkladies, includin' Nightmare Moon."

"Except for Sombra," Pinkie said, stifling a yawn. "Because he's a stallion. Er, was, anyway." She shook her head, looking tired.

"She wasn't happy, until she read it," Twilight shook herself, looking sleepy. "She says that... showing her evil self as a lonely tyrant ruling over undead ponies and monsters, and tying to make living ponies love her night, as a game villain to be defeated, is for the best." She yawned widely. "Luna doesn't like the 'Evil is Cool' atmosphere Nightmare Moon gets from some ponies..."

"Dear," Rarity said, obviously fighting to stay awake. "Just where IS Princess Luna? And, why do we all feel so," she yawned, delicately covering her mouth with one hoof, "So sleepy?"

"Oh! That's because Princess Luna agreed to play the game as a collective dream with all of us!"

"WHAT?!?" Five voices called out as one, right before their owners crashed to the floor and began snoring.

Grinning -- this was going to be great -- Twilight joined them.

Six innocent mares slept on the floor of their usual game room as a familiar mocking and wicked laugh sounded over them.

"'Twill be a tale to remember, my dear friends!"

Session 2.15 (Ardashir and me)

"So these here critters got bodies like spiders, but heads an' necks like Quarray Eels, an' they can mind control giant four-eyed critters that tear ponies limb from limb. AN' they feed ponies ta their 'Great Old Master'?"

"Well, yes," Spike said as he examined the rulebook. He showed them a picture. "See?"

AJ shuddered. "Do the fellas that write these things ASK Luna for the worst nightmares she's got?"

"Oh, and when they reach old age, and senility kicks in, and begin giving confusing orders to their slaves, they inject their poisons several times into one, turning into a mindless eating machine that'll eventually split open and bring about the new generations." Spike said with a straight face.

Applejack said. "Ah'm gonna hug Granny Smith and tell 'her how much Ah love'er when Ah get back."

Session 2.16 (Alex Warlorn)

"Tea Time Of Ponythulu?" Applejack asked, looking at the cover that depicted a haunted house surrounded by a graveyard at night during a thunder storm. "Aren't these games cursed?"

Twilight Sparkle shook her head. "Oh Applejack, that's just a myth spread by the publisher to increase sales."

Rarity said, "Well darling, if it's set during the time of gentle stallions and high fashion it can't be all bad."

Pinkie said, "Don't worry, I have extra cupcakes in case we do summon monsters from beyond existence!"

Fluttershy looked nervous, "Uh, are you sure this is a good idea? Remember what happened with that Vampony game."

"I still insist, you turning into Flutterbat on the spot was a coincidence."

"That's not how she tells it."

Rainbow Dash shorted. "Okay I'll play, but if we all end up sprouting tentacles, I wanna be on top."

Session 2.17 (Ardashir)

"Girls, you forgot to ask if I wanted to play tonight!" Discord said as he slithered out of thin air. He glanced at the game box sitting before Twilight. "Oh, you girls want to see cousin Ponythulu? Well, then..."

"What? NO!" Six horrified mares leaped to their hooves, aghast, dreading what eldritch abomination the other eldritch abomination was about to unleash upon them.

And Discord tore the veils of reality, exposing the squamous cyclopean horror that was Ponythulu as he reached out with his non-Euclidean tentacles and...

Offered the ponies a pot of Earl Gray tea. Behind him a massive cake covered with one hundred and twenty five candles and done in a cat motif bore the legend, HAPPY 125TH BIRTHDAY LOVEY.

"Oh, company!" He burbled happily. "Tea, anypony? Discord, how did you know I was lonely? Nyarlathotrot is messing around in some other dimension again, Shub-Niggurath's not returning my calls," he waved a tentacle at a painting of a female black goat amid trees surrounded by a thousand young, "and Azathoth never says anything sensible. But pardon me young three-dimensional ladies? Some more Earl Gray? Perhaps a slice of cake?"

Quietly (save for Pinkie Pie, who was as bouncy as ever), the ponies accepted the cake and tea.

"Um, so Twilight," Dash said after taking a bite of her cake. "How is this even possible?"

"Just eat the cake," Twilight said softly. "And later we'll try to forget all of this?"

Session 2.18 (BrutalityInc)

"You know, I never really got into giant robots." Soarin said, taking a bite from his slice of freshly baked apple pie. "Sure, I loved those military sci-fi shows and books when I was a kid, but giant robots that fights monsters or other giant robots? Not so much."

"What makes you think that? I thought everypony loves giant robots when they're young." Rainbow Dash asked, curious, even as she prepares to roll her dice. She turned to DM, "I use the power-up roll of my action dice last turn to have my giant robot Aero-Guard fires a full salvo of missiles towards the giant Queen Vespa."

"They stretch my willing suspension of disbelief past my limit. And that's even before I learn enough military matters to know they make for some very appalling weapon systems." Soarin explained, after swallowing his food with a gulp, "They're so tall they make easy targets that can't be hidden in cover. Robot legs are so complicated it makes the robot slow compare to wheel vehicles, and makes it easy for them to fall over. All the complex machinery to make them work also makes them more expensive and less reliable. And you'll probably need to power it with a potent power plant, which would undoubtedly contaminate the area with magical or radioactive fallout should the robot ever get blown up."

"Em, Sir, it's your turn." Fleetfoot reminded him. The DM was looking at him with an annoyed expression.

"Oh yes, right." Soarin looked at the results: Rainbow had fumbled the rolls of her game dices, power dices and even the boost dices, meaning her GLOBAL DEFENDERS faction's Aero-Guard had done little more than chipping a few points off the giant monster of his VESPA HORDE faction. He, on the other hoof, have saved up enough power-points from previous power-up rolls for something special. "I use my previous power-points to shift my giant Queen Vespa to Ultra Form."

"Aww nuts." Rainbow muttered, realizing her predicament. With no power-points left, she'll either have to use her next turn as a monster turn to move her Aero-Guard out of the way, leaving her own minion units of battle tanks and combat gyrocopters to be minced by Soarin's giant Ultra Queen Wasp, or do another power-roll and hope her giant robot, already at half health, survives the mincing instead.

"You make them sound so ridiculous, sir. Weren't you gushing about space fighters all the time?" Fleetfoot remarked, even as she makes a unit dice roll for her ELEMENTAL LORDS faction and tell the DM her next move, "I move forward my wind and water elementals to cover my damaged giant Earth Golem."

"That's different, Fleetfoot." Soarin defended. "I KNOW all the arguments against space fighters amongst the geeks in the Wonderbolts, and they are legit, but there are a few situations and few ways you can still make them work. Hay, they even made a hard science fiction tabletop game based entirely around how you can make them work. Giant robots? You can easily take them out with an artillery barrage, a big explosive mine, or even as simple as wires wrapped around their legs carried by fast-moving pegasi. You'll get more putting cannons and armor on tractors and make tanks, then building giant military robots. I simply can't find a situation for them where they could actually be useful, even for fighting giant monsters."

"Actually," Spitfire, at the DM seat, interjected, "A giant robot WOULD make for an effective anti-monster weapon."

"How's that, madam?" Soarin asked, incredulous.

"One word: Dominance." Spitfire said with a grin. "Many of these giant monsters, like those hydras, quarry eels and astral beasts we face in Equestria, or like those giant monsters in this game we're playing, usually regard ponies with the same regard as we ponies to ants: we're nothing but insects to them. Sure they'll respond to us attacking them when they rampage through our cities, but they'll just swat us aside with utter indifference. They won't care about us, they won't respect us, and they won't be deterred by us or our attempts to stop them from destroying cities."

"I don't see how giant robots come into this. Besides fighting them, that is." Rainbow Dash asked, missing the point.

"Because they're big, they know that the only thing that could remotely resemble a threat to them, is another monster as big as they are." Spitfire clarified, "And a giant robot plays perfectly into that expectation. Giant monsters are still animals, driven by instincts, and in the wild, animals would often fight for dominance over food, mates and territory."

"Just like two hot-headed stallions fighting over a mare, or who gets the top of the bunk, or the last slice of pizza." Fleetfoot analogize, ignoring Soarin, who merely rolled his eyes and snorted. "One usually backs off when they know they aren't strong enough to win, so winner takes all."

"A giant robot would be another rival of their calibur to them," Rainbow Dash continued, finally comprehending, "And if the giant robot beats the giant monster and puts it in its place, it'll learn to stay away from its territory, to not provoke it, thereby keeping them away from us!"

"And finally, there's the fact that giant robots are very, VERY cool. I heard even Princess Luna gushed about it when she asked if we had invented robots yet. I think as long as our some of our superiors keep mistaking coolness for effectiveness, giant robots are still going to get their funding." Spitfire finishes. Seeing Soarin nodding in understanding, she turn her attention back to the table. "Now come on, then, back to our game of Kaiju Armageddon! The city of Oat-saka isn't going to destroy itself in your three-way monster battle of dominance!"

Session 2.19 (MtangaLion)

Shining Armor had just gotten the preview copy of his new campaign module back from the publisher, and he wasn't a happy stallion. "What is this?! Marecross: Do You Remember Friendship? I can't believe they took Twily's play through and ran with that! I *wanted* a gritty tough-as-nails hard-science war campaign!" He grabbed the campaign book more tightly in his magic, tempted to rip it to shreds, then settled for tossing it on the table.

Rainbow Dash scooped it up and started leafing through it idly. "Whoa, check it out... This giant Zentroti warrior looks just like Cadence."

Shining blinked. "Let me see that..."

Later...

Cadence smirked at the campaign book. "You want me to use my Alicorn magic to shapeshift into a hot giant alien?"

Shining Armor blushed. "I'm sorry! I couldn't un-imagine it!"

The Princess of Love put a hoof over her husband's muzzle before he could apologize again. "I like it! Orion slave mare and Prench maid were getting kind of old."

"La la la!" sang Twilight Sparkle, sitting at the gaming table three feet away. "Not listening! Go talk about that stuff in your own castle!"

Session 2.20 (JLBarnett and Alex Warlorn)

The fact that the Elements of Harmony and the Royals of the Crystal Empire were role-players had gotten out recently and numerous companies had sent new games or new editions of old games to them hoping to get a review or a blurb that could be used for promoting them.

That meant that when the Cutie Mark Crusaders decided they wanted to give gaming a shot, but wanted to do their own thing, there were plenty of untried games to wade through.

'What's this?" Sweetie Belle asked, "Rise of the Caribou..."

It was yanked out of her grasp by Twilight's magic. "You're not old enough to play that. We're not old enough to play that, in fact Princess Celestia isn't old enough to play that." It was quickly stuffed in a trash can.

Looking through them they found several based on their own addventures. "Harmony vs Equality," Rainbow Dash read then snorted derisively. "I can't believe they've already got one about that stupid Starlight."

"Fires and Friendships?" Apple Bloom read.

"That one's kind of a rip off of O&O but it's got a definite time frame. It's set just after the founding of Equestria and it's main idea was there was someone keeping the Pony Tribes separated." Shining Armor explained it.

"The Seventh Element, The New Elements..." Scootaloo read tossing a couple aside.

"Hey, those sound interestin," Apple Bloom said, "what are they about?

Scootaloo picked them up and gave them a quick read through. 'Okay, the seventh Element is about needing the power of a lost Element of Harmony. THe New Elements have a couple of types of game you can play."

"The Elements wouldn't have worked if there were seven,"Twilight observed floating the book over to her. "What! This is completely wrong! Listen to this. 'The Elements of Harmony may be used by any sized group from two to seven, as long as they are friends and free from mental alterations."

"So, they think the reason it didn't work the first time you tried them on DIscord was because you were discorded, not because I was there instead of Rainbow Dash," Spike said.

"I guess so."

"Hey, this new Elements game does look pretty cool," Scootaloo said. "We can be you guys, or a new group after something bad happened to you, or a second group because Harmony isn't limited to one group of ponies or you can create your own new Elements."

"Well . . . Luna and Celestia were able to use the Elements together, and Celestia was able to use the Elements all by herself. So Ah don't really see the problem with that." Applejack admitted.

"And I thought darling it had to do with Discord using his to break our FRIENDSHIP... I thought Spikey-Wickey didn't work because we didn't care about each other at the time. I'd say Spike fits the definition loyalty quite well."

Spike blushed.

And Pinkie Pie smiled. "And Twilight, wouldn't you say our rainbow power is an evolution of our Elements of Harmony?"

"Well, in the spiritual sense, I guess yes."

"Well then, didn't Sunset Shimmer add a seventh Element to the group on Earth to help you beat the sirens? So doesn't that mean there really ARE seven Elements?"

Twilight opened her mouth with a perfectly logical and rational retort... found she had none, crossed her eyes, and began giggling.

The next day a knock on Friendship Crystal Castle's door by Rarity was greeted by Spike.

"Hello Spikey Wickey, is dear Twilight alright?" Rarity asked.

"Oh, she's just recovering from having her world view derailed, at least this time she didn't burst into flames. I think she's actually doing good." Spike answered glancing at where Twilight and Pinkie Pie having a little one on one session.

Behind the Dungeon Master Screen, Pinkie Pie said, "The nearest Grump scowls disapprovingly at your Twilight, you take 14 points of unhappiness, reducing your happiness points to 43."

With an odd look of innocence in her eyes, Twilight cheered. "I counter-attack with a BIIIIG hug!" She rolled the dice. "Critical!"

"Whoa! You reduce the Grump's Unhappiness Points to Zero, and he becomes your friend."

"Yippie! We'll get the rainbow berries to princess Rarity no problem!"

Spike looked at the cover of the game book again. The title was Crystals and Rainbows Generation 3.5 It depicted a blue and rather pose and proper version of himself, along with a pink and rainbow haired filly version of Rarity on the cover.

"Where did you say you got this game again Pinkie Pie?"

"Oh, just from some very dear friends."

Spike noted a little text on the inside of the book that read. Will be your dearest friend even through reboots --love, Minty.

Session 2.21 (Kendell2)

"I roll to smash the evil Black Knight with my tail," Spike announced.

A grayish-scarlet teenaged sized dragon with pink hair and a blue underbelly did the calculations for the villain. "He puts up a barrier but your dragon's strike slams him into the side of his castle. He counter attacks with his sword of hellfire."

"I do a saving throw for Spike!" called a voice from outside the window. A single massive orange claw came through the window and gently flicked the dice to roll it. "What I'd get?"

Mina did the calculations. "Your dragon's scales endure the hit, but you take 20 points of damage."

Twilight knocked on the door and entered with a big bowl of jewels. "Enjoying your game?"

"Yep! It's so much fun to play a game were the dragons are the good guys!" Mina chimed in.

Twilight then blinked, looking out the window. Outside was a giant orange dragon with purple feathered wings and brown hair. "Uh, Weatherbe is it, Rarity got a cart of gems from the Diamond dogs for you, it's on it's way."

Weatherbe had been a dragon Mina had introduced Spike too, but having a giant dragon over for O&O was quite the experience.

"Thanks, Princess Twilight," replied Weatherbe, the huge dragoness giving a smile.

"Welcome."

Mina nodded. "Alright, next move?"

Session 2.22 (BrutalityInc)

"Girls, I went through the stuff I had stored in my sister's attic, and you will NOT believe what I found!" Sweetie Belle was filled with excitement as she hoofed over a slightly worn and dusty game box to the other Cutie Mark Crusaders.

"What's this?" Babs Seed asked as she examined the cover of the box, which had an illustration depicting a bunch of cute, fluffy animals running out of a film reel with goofy expressions on their faces, except for a mad-scientist like pony who for some reason was fearfully hanging onto a rocket, flying out flying out with a blazing trail. "'Animania!'? Is this a tabletop game rip-off of Bunnies and Burrows where you play as cute, fluffy animals?"

"Oh, no, it isn't! I've heard of this one." Scootaloo said, "The 'Ani' in Animania doesn't stand for 'Animals' - it stands for 'Animation'. In this game, you get to play as a cartoon character, who could be a cartoon animal, going about in slapstick adventures like you would find in a cartoon world."

For some inexplicable reasons, all four fillies suddenly felt a profound sense of irony. They ignored it and turned back to discussing the game.

"Ah didn't think that yer big sister would play that sort o' game." Scootaloo remarked as they opened the box. "She doesn't look like somepony who enjoys 'em slapstick, unlike Discord."

"I guess it's sort of... what did Twilight said it was? Yes, 'guilty pleasure'. Everypony LOVES cartoons when they are young." Sweetie Belle replied, going through the cartoon characters figures, boards of wacky and colorfully illustrated settings and manuals. "I guess she grew out of it as she got older, but only mostly. She couldn't get herself to bin it out of attachment, but she didn't want anypony knowing either. At least, that's what I think; which might explain why I found it inside a metal box with a broken lock, buried underneath a huge pile of fashion magazines and old fabric."

"Not me; never really got into cartoons. At least, not the loony kind; mine's more the animated superheroes kind, like the Power Ponies." Babs Seed said as she went through the manual.

Her eyebrows raised with incredulity at what she read, "It says here, cartoon laws and cartoon physics applies in a cartoon world, with the golden rule being the rule of funny. Your character can march across ravines and canyons without falling due to gravity if you failed a Smarts Roll, meaning that your character didn't notice they are walking on thin air. Your character automatically come with a hammer-space, with capacity increasing as you level up, and can use tools of any size stored within that ponies in real life can't even wield. You can create passage ways through obstacles not by magic or explosives, but by drawing it with paint and brush; you can damage your foes while at it if he or she runs into it and slam themselves into the obstacle at high speed. And that's just the first few items on the list of cartoon powers our characters can use!"

"And look at teh weapons we'r goin' tah be using." Applebloom said as she looked at the section 'CarToon Wars', "Homin' cream pie missiles? Jelly-bean machine guns? Instant wall mines? Extend-o-boxing-gloves? Soot-face fuse bombs? Seriously, gals, this game is wacky."

"So how about it, girls? This game is practically made for us!" Sweetie Belle pleaded.

"I dunno, Sweetie." Scootaloo said with uncertainty, "I'm all for it, but we'll need a very good DM to have a campaign, or cartoon series as the game says, that would feel like a cartoon. We're going to need some-pony that knows what it's like to be in a cartoon inside and out. We're going to need - "

"PINKIE!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed as she popped out of a small sealed canister containing the dice, which she promptly pulled out of her mane and placed it in-front of the startled fillies, "Hiya, girls! I'm having a break from my baking right now, and I over-heard you need a super special DM for this super special board-game. I just happen to know what's it's like to be a cartoon character; well, maybe it's because I am one, but that's only - "

"Well, Applebloom, it looks like this game is going to get very weird, very fast." Babs Seed quipped to Applebloom as Pinkie Pie rambled on.

Babs didn't know just how right she was.

Session 2.23 (MtangaLion)

Spike cackled, kneading his claws together. "Duke Under Hoof says, 'Remember our agreement, Princess Twilight! You will become my bride, or my guards drop your friends into that boiling lava!"

Twilight looked through her cards, thinking fast. "I pretend like he's beaten me, but actually I'm using my magic to loosen Rainbow Dash's bonds."

Spike looked doubtful. "He'll see you casting."

"I try to keep the glow dim, and the bridal veil is hiding it too."

If any of them had looked out of Twilight's second floor crystal window, they would have seen strange mechanical invaders roll across Ponyville's main square... then rapidly retreat from a squad of angry ponies. Big Mac bucked one so hard, its rotating top fell right off. Vinyl Scratch and Octavia rode a giant synthesizer console into battle, their harmony and pounding wubs causing enemy robots to spin in confusion and explode.

Rarity played a card. "I sneak through the shadows and render the guards unconscious without Duke Under Hoof noticing."

Pinkie played three cards, barely able to contain her excitement. "And I prepare my awesome party surprise to distract him!"

Meanwhile, Derpy Hooves dodged laser beams with wild, unpredicatable midair spins and dumped buckets of tree sap all over the invaders. Mayor Mare used obscure regulations and a small catapult to literally bury them in paperwork. Bon Bon and Lyra appeared in matching spymare catsuits, spinkicking one alien machine after another in a perfectly synced dance. The alien spaceship attempted to take off and retreat, but then the Doctor appeared, red scarf blowing in the breeze. The sonic screwdriver in his raised hoof made one of the landing gear collapse and the whole vessel fell over and crashed.

Fluttershy stole a glance at the window. "Shouldn't we..."

AJ smiled. "Eeenope. Ah reckon they've got it covered."

Session 2.24 (Ardashir)

"Okay," Babs said. Nightmare Loon needs that bit of Unobtanium to make the Equis-Blasting Ray on her spaceship work, right? So I just swim down for it..."

"WHAT!" Twilight Sparkle wasn't playing in the fillies' TOON game, but since Pinkie was gamemastering it she hung around to keep an eye on things. Just in case of lunacy like this. "Girls! I'm not trying to tell you how to play, but space is a vacuum! You can't breathe or swim in it, I..."

"Princess, I mean Miss Twilight," Babs said, "didn't you say that Princess Luna compared space ta 'an endless ocean'?" Twilight nodded warily. Babs then turned to Pinkie Pie. "An' didn't you say that if we FAILED a Smarts roll, we could do stuff we normally couldn't even in a TOON game because we didn't know no better?"

"Right-a-roonie!" Pinkie said with a smile. "That's how Scootaloo's character was able to run through the fake tunnel Nightmare Loon painted on the wall. And how Sweetie Belle cast a Summon Ghosts spell to scare her even though ghosts don't exist." Apple Bloom shifted her eyes a bit. "It's amazing what you can do when you don't know that you can. Like bees and flying!" She ignored the way a vein started to throb on Twilight's forehead.

"Well, then," Babs rolled the dice. "Hah! I failed! I swim down to the spaceship an' then I swim right back up ta our lunar balloon!"

"How can you fly a balloon on the Moon?" Twilight asked, feeling her grip on reality fading.

"Easy-peasy, Twi," Pinkie said. "They just hold their breath, duh."

Twilight went to the window and hung her head out with a groan. Outside, a new, evil faction horde of sapient apples that had tried to invade the town was being finished off by hundreds of very hungry ponies. Their desperate please buried under the crunching jaws of hungry equines.

Twilight glared at the scene before her and asked nopony in particular, "Why does this seem more realistic than what I just heard?"

Session 2.25 (Alex Warlorn)

Discord popped in. "Oooh, a game that can drive Twilight Sparkle crazy? I'm in!"

Sweetie asked, "But Discord, I thought you were DONE with being evil... again." The fillies had not forgotten how their friend had turned evil on all of Equestria, only turning back when betrayed by Tirek.

"I am! I am! I mean 'crazy' as entertainingly irritated! I swear!" Discord waved his limbs frantically. "I swear I'll be the best Animator at this game imaginable!"

"I think they're rather this toon game NOT turning a LARP Discord." Twilight said.

"What's a LARP?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Something you don't need to think about!" Twilight said hastily.

Session 2.26 (MtangaLion)

Discord hovered over the gaming table, grinning like a used cart salespony, while Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo read their "Journal of the Unexplained!" character sheets.

"I don't understand," said Sweetie Belle. "We're roleplaying... ourselves?"

"It's quite simple," explained Discord. "Foalishly simple, in fact! These characters are you girls when you're a few years older, with the potent new powers and abilities you've learned."

"Neat!" cried Scootaloo, buzzing her small wings. "What kind of powers?"

"I'm glad you asked!" Discord shrugged. "Instead of, you know, actually reading the pieces of paper that I painstakingly magicked up and placed in your adorable little hooves... but I digress! You, Scootaloo, have a flying cutie mark, and you've been trained in the use of powerful wing blades by Rainbow Dash herself!"

Scootaloo gasped. "Ooh! Is this the kind of game that magically sucks you in and makes the game real?"

Discord blinked. "Um... no."

"Can it be? Please, puh-lease!"

Discord folded his mismatched arms. "Hmm... sorely tempted... but no." He swooped over to the next filly. "Next, Sweetie Belle has an uncanny mastery of dark magic for her tender age, and a cutie mark that allows her to start Heart Songs at will..." Sweetie's eyes grew wider and wider. "AND, a cute otherworldly familiar who alters reality at her whim!"

Apple Bloom was practically bouncing in her chair. "What do Ah get? What do Ah get?!"

Discord waved his talons dismissively. "You get a complex, because you don't have any cutie mark or special powers... YET!" The draconequus whipped out a script. "You see, here in chapter 27..."

Immediately, a huge anvil fell and squashed Discord flat. Then a second Discord, the one native to this universe, appeared in a flash. "Spoilers, sweetie."

Sweetie Belle stared. "Huh?"

"Not you. I was making an obscure reference." Their Discord conjured a dimensional portal and levitated the squashed Discord to toss him in. "Don't mind him, he was just leaving."

Session 2.27 (Alex Warlorn)

Apple Bloom gave Discord the puppy dog eyes.

"Oh please, Fluttershy's stare can't effect me, what makes you think that will work?"

Scootaloo caught on and joined in.

"Girls, just because I'm Chaotic Neutral now instead of Chaotic Evil doesn't mean doesn't meant I'm about to break the dungeon master code."

Then Sweetie Belle added her sad puppy dog eyes.

"I!!! Agh! Fine! But enjoy that while it lasts, when you're an adult, that just looks creepy, unless you're Fluttershy."

"What about Pinkie Pie?"

"And Pinkie Pie."

"And Rarity."

"And Rarity."

"And-"

"I said fine! Apple Bloom, you have a magic eye that functions as both a permanent True Seeing, and Aura Sight, and Detect Lie... but it's also slowly turning you into a Nightmare."

"... Do Ah get to keep playing my character, or does she become an NPC when it happens?"

"You... get to keep playing her."

"COOL!"

Author's Note

Session 2.0 (Kendell2)
Session 2.1 (Alex Warlorn)
Session 2.2 (Ardashir)
Session 2.3 (Alex Warlorn)
Session 2.4 (Alex Warlorn)
Session 2.5 (Ardashir and Alex Warlorn)
Session 2.6 (MtangaLion with couple lines added by Alex)
Session 2.7 (Kendell2 with edits)
Session 2.8 (BrutalityInc)
Session 2.9 (Alex Warlorn)
Session 2.10 (MtangaLion)
Session 2.11 (Trooper924)
Session 2.12 (Kendell2)
Session 2.13 (BrutalityInc)
Session 2.14 (Ardashir)
Session 2.15 (Ardashir and a bit by me)
Session 2.16 (Alex Warlorn)
Session 2.17 (Ardashir)
Session 2.18 (BrutalityInc)
Session 2.19 (MtangaLion)
Session 2.20 (JLBarnett and Alex Warlorn)
Session 2.21 (Kendell2)
Session 2.22 (BrutalityInc)
Session 2.23 (MtangaLion)
Session 2.24 (Ardashir)
Session 2.25 (Alex Warlorn)
Session 2.26 (MtangaLion)
Session 2.27 (Alex Warlorn)
Session 2.28 (ArcanissSupreme)

Session 4

Session 4.0 MtangaLion (with a couple edits by me)

Princess Cadence marched up a flight of stairs in a huff, then brushed right past a protesting Night Guard and barged into Luna's study. The Princess of the Night was at her desk, magically writing letters by candlelight. "Aunt Luna, we need to talk!"

Princess Luna put the quill pen down slowly and gave Cadence her full attention. "Oh? Speak your mind, niece."

Cadence hesitated, then took a deep breath, determined not to lose her nerve now. "My husband says that you've been giving him terrible nightmares. Because of a scary story he wrote, for a game of all things! Does every horror story in Equestria have to meet with *your* approval now, Aunt Luna?"

Cadence paced, flaring her wings a bit in irritation. "Are you going to be punishing the director of A Nightmare on Birch Street too, and Steven Prince for all his novels, and everypony else who's ever created some dark and scary world... or is it only my husband who deserves such treatment? I know that Fate seems to have it in for him at times, but you too, Aunt? I won't stand for it."

Luna rose from her desk with a thoughtful look, then went to a shelf and nudged a particular book. A secret passage slid open with a heavy grating of stone. "Nay, niece. We are not and do not wish to be such a tyrant again, commanding that artists produce only the works which we ourselves approve." Her shadow, cast by the candlelight, seemed to grow briefly, looming with helmeted head and a longer, sharper horn.

Luna entered the secret passage, walking slowly, and Cadence followed, curious. It was strangely lit, with torches every few feet and paintings all along the walls. "But it is our role to oversee nightmares," Luna continued. "We give comfort to our little ponies when they have a nightmare born of fear and doubt. We also amplify nightmares born of guilty conscience so they are brought to the surface." She paused, looking back to give Cadence a stern, measured look. "To make certain they learn the lessons which their own hearts are trying to teach them."

The paintings were magical, Cadence realized with a soft gasp. Little scenes moved within them as she watched.

In one painting, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon cowered, their flanks completely blank, while Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle shook their new cutie marks in the faces of the two bullies, and all their classmates joined in making fun of them.

In another painting, Gilda was a monster griffon raging through Ponyville, scaring Fluttershy and Granny Smith half to death as she nearly trampled them underpaw, and knocking houses over with her indignant roar... until Rainbow Dash flew up and hoofed her right in the beak, mouthing the words, "Not cool."

"Shiny was already having bad dreams before you did anything?" breathed Cadence. She blinked, then cantered to catch up with Luna.

Luna nodded. "To revel in suffering and death and hopelessness... to make a game of them... . Your husband has a good heart. Of course, it would be troubled. His unconscious already felt he had gone 'too far' in their game's story, not I. One should consider why one does such things... what lessons one is trying to teach." The torches along the walls flared suddenly... shadows seemed to crawl and flicker, growing tentacles and fangs. "One should consider also that there are dark powers between the worlds who do revel in suffering for its own sake, and what it written in one world... may unexpectedly become real in another."

They entered a new stretch of the stone hallway, with new painted scenes. Cadence saw Diamond Tiara watching the Cutie Mark Crusaders walk past. Diamond Tiara started to reach out a hoof, then turned her head sharply, mouthing "Blank flanks..." She saw Gilda sitting on the side of her nest, staring at an old Cloudsdale yearbook photo of Rainbow Dash, then flapping over to a desk and starting to pen a letter to her former friend.

Then Cadence stopped in her tracks, face to face with an entire wall mural. It depicted a great and sprawling city built of rose-colored crystal, and a city square with a monument carved with tens of thousands of the names of ponies who had given their lives in war. Four veteran soldiers... Shining and his friends... stood before it, grizzled old heavily-armored veterans. As one, they took off their helmets respectfully.

"You also charged that I especially singled out your husband for harsh dreams," spoke Luna. She started walking again. "That, I will answer. I did, and why should I not? It is your dream to make your beloved an Alicorn, is it not?"

Cadence blinked, and blushed... They had just walked into an entire gallery of scenes of Shiny ascending in different ways. "That... that's just wishful thinking. And I'll love him no less if he remains mortal!"

Luna smiled faintly. "Do not underestimate yourself, niece. You have determination and great resources... including Princess Twilight, who might one day surpass us all. Would you wish the immortal stallion ruling by your side to be cruel and indifferent to suffering... or noble and kind? I have tested him, and Twilight and her friends, and I will continue to do so, as I must."

Cadence slowed to a stop, glancing around the gallery in puzzlement. "Aunt Luna... we've walked a long way. Didn't we start out in your tower? How can these passages fit in there?"

Luna seemed amused. "Did you only just now realize?" She touched a hoof to Cadence's forehead and gave a gentle shove...

And Cadence gasped, finding herself in back in her own royal suite in the Crystal Empire, with Shining, in their bed. Her husband was curled up, drooling a bit on one hoof and sleeping peacefully.

Cadence smiled and nuzzled warmly up to him, soon joining him in slumber once more.

Session 4.1 Alex Warlorn

"Okay everypony," Spike said once again Dungeon Master, "After a majority vote, we're rebooting the campaign so the different teams play in different campaign worlds again."

Applejack rolled her eyes then glared at Rainbow Dash, then at Pinkie Pie eating rare cloud cupcakes from Cloudsdale, poor Fluttershy hiding in her mane, and Rarity looking over a major rush order from the Wonderbolts. "Ya mean voted, bribed, pushed along, and 'mysteriously abstained'."

"You can't prove anything!" Rainbow Dash said proudly. "All I know is no more getting the dungeons emptied out by somepony else!"

"Also, by majority vote, we'll be playing by 'keep inventory true' rules, so you'll be keeping your items when you die instead of having to go back for them."

Rainbow Dash crossed her arms and grumbled at this point, as did Twilight and Spike.

Rainbow Dash said, "That takes away the challenge! And they're calling us 'softcore' at the gaming store! Softcore!"

"You shouldn't let others opinions get to you like that Rainbow."

"Oh, like Celestia's approval doesn't effect you?"

"Not.... any.... more..." Twilight said sweating.

"Don't worry Rainbow Dash," Spike said, "I'm letting the dice fall where they may this time, no fudges from me, I promise."

"Now that's more like!" Rainbow Dash grinned. "Let's do this!"

-A bit later-

"Since when do SLIMES shoot fireballs?!" Applejack exclaimed.

"Rare spawn," Spike said. Regrouping in a cave, the ponies found:

"A beehive?! Underground!?" Fluttershy whispered confused.

"I'm just letting the dice decide," Spike said.

"The ZOMBIE set me on fire!?!" Rarity said.

"Rare spawn."

"HE'S MINE!" Rarity hissed, in revenge for her newest carefully crafted in game cape and cloth armor.

*One Rare Spawn Zombie Slaying later*

"Ooooh! A chain helmet with aqua affinity."

Spike rolled the dice. "One of the mundane zombies surprise attacks you from behind, you die, and respawn in a random location since you don't have a home base yet."

"Oh fiddle sticks."

"And since Rainbow Dash insisted on all you splitting up to cover more ground, you don't know the way back to the helmet, and you hadn't put it in your inventory yet so-"

Spike stopped seeing the angry look on rarity's face.

"We'll find ya Rarity, promise," AJ said. But the other five ponies quickly had their own problems.

AJ screamed at the slime token on the board scooted willy nilly by Spike's little finger. "What's this slime?! It's like it's had ten cups of coffee!"

"I did that once," Pinkie Pie said.

"And nearly ripped a hole in time and space." Twilight rolled her eyes.

"No I didn't!" Pinkie Pie insisted.

Then as they were fighting the endlessly splitting slime monsters, Rainbow Dash was sneak attacked by another zombie, and like Rarity respawned in a random relocation.

Rainbow Dash did not look happy.

Then the ponies found themselves ambushed by skeletons who seemed to have no reason for existing other than to ambush adventurers.

"On the bright side some of the skeletons shoot each other with their own arrows in the crossfire."

"Ah'm a freakin' pin cushion." AJ grumbled.

"And more zombies, they seem angry."

"I'd be angry if I was a zombie," Pinkie Pie said.

"Most ponies would I imagine," Rarity said.

"No you'd be utterly mindless and unaware of your own existence." Twilight said, then wonder why the Tartarus she was debating the mental functions of zombies.

On the bright side, Fluttershy had taken some of the skeleton bones, and managed to feed them to a timberwolf to tame it.

"I'm naming you Mossy! You like that?"

Still trying to find their friends on the map, Applejackwas surprise attacked and poisoned by a witch, reduced to two hit points. Thankfully the witch fell down a hole trying to catch her. Applejack thanked her stars.

Cut off from the others for the moment, Applejack put together a work station to build herself some better equipment (which in retrospect they should have all done BEFORE hunting monsters).

As Applejack finished in game making a new item for the first time, some of Doctor Whooves's flameless fireworks went off in the room, ('Blaspheme,' Spike thought, 'fireworks without flames?').

Applejack sighed. "Pinkie Pie would you stop doing that?"

"It was rather lavish the first time, but it has become rather uninspiring." Rarity admitted.

"But you got an achievement!"

"What that even mean?"

"I dunno."

"While you were busy crafting Applejack, the witch climbed out of the hole and zapped you."

"Gosh darinit!"

"And-" Spike rolled the dice. "You end up at the top of a giant tree, you can barely see the ground."

"I said we needed to establish our home base." Twilight sighed.

"How am Ah supposed to get down without dyin' again?"

Spike just looked at her.

AJ groaned. "Alright... " Several climbing checks, and one tiny failed climb check later, Applejack fell to her death, and respawned on the top of a much shorter tree.

Rarity meanwhile solo fought through another horde of slime monsters, after a hard painful fight-

"They drop an enchanted axe, and rare chain boots."

"I hope they're matching."

"They are!"

"Wonderful!"

"Also, your character trips and dies since you didn't heal up after that fight."

"Spike!"

"But you already had the new stuff in your inventory!"

"Oh, alright then."

"What kind of land are we in anyway?!" Rainbow Dash exasperated.

"Swamp land." Their Apple Ranger said. "Good news? Lots of slimes to kill. Bad news? Lots of slimes."

Rainbow Dash was solo crafting and was ambushed *again* by a zombie *again*, but this time survived!

"About time! I'm out of here! ... But maybe I'll grab that coal first-" Cue surprise attack from flaming zombie.

Respawning outside the cave Rainbow Dash swore.
"Forget what I said! You can have your dang coal!"

Twilight and Pinkie Pie were sticking to each other like glue with Fluttershy bringing up the rear.

They also killed an Earth Elemental on sight.

"Maybe that earth elemental was friendly?" Fluttershy suggested but was ignored.

"At least we found the source of where all the monsters were coming from." Twilight said as night was beginning to fall in game. Looking at a very large apple tree, casting large and deep shadows on everything, allowing the monsters to spawn, including,

"Don't look at the Enderstallions, don't look at the Enderstallions." Pinkie Pie rambled to herself.

"Fluttershy, you encounter a cute looking beetle."

"Oh! Can I tell what kind it is?"

"You don't have a chance to find out as a creeper blows up right next to you. You respawn in a random location. On top of a tree."

Fluttershy squeaked. "OH! OH MY! Did anypony see where Mossy went?" Fluttershy asked dismayed. "He's all alone now!"

"There are other timber wolves nearby."

"Oh! I feed them bones, do I tame them? Can they tell me where Mossy is?"

"Sorry, these are more pickey than Mossy apparently."

"THEY!" Fluttershy looked shattered. "They don't WANT to be my friends?!"

Her friends glared at Spike.

"H-hey! Dice rolls!"

Spike didn't have the heart to tell her Mossy hadn't survived the blast.

As fate would have it, the girls finally managed to find each other (and there was much rejoicing), they encountered a black bear and deer that it was quickly decided to leave alone.

Applejack cut down a nearby witchwood tree for materials, realized what she'd done, and everypony held their breath.

And...

"The deer didn't turn hostile at us cutting down a tree?" Rarity asked.

"Why would it?" Spike said. "It's not like deer are jerks who place the lives of trees above the lives of ponies and-"

Rainbow Dash coughed, "Horseapples!"

AJ proceeded to cut down a rainbow tree and the strange and mysterious mystical plant known as the fir tree.

Rainbow killed some slime stuck in the nearby shore line, only for them to split and attack Rainbow Dash now on land, but thankfully these weren't fireball slinging ones.

Applejack was cutting down another tree when,

"WHY WHERE THERE PIGS IN THOSE TREES?!"

AJ shouted as pigs fell from the tree branches.

"Dice rolls!" Spike defended. "Oh and you've got zombies."

"Oh, hello zombies, perish," PInkie Pie cheered.

"They're already dead darling," Rarity said.

"Shut up," Rainbow snort.

"And giant spiders," Spike added.

"Hello Spidey, bye spidey!" Pinkie Pie cheered, her bard actually managing to exterminate the bugs.

"-and skeletons-"

"I really don't want to fight you right now." Rainbow groaned.

"You talking to me or the skeletons? Oh and-"

"Hello creeper," Pinkie Pie said.

"How'd you guess?" Spike asked.

"Just a hunch."

"Oh, except it's behind you guys, and so is one giant slime."

The girls just ran as a group rather than deal with another fight and-

"A big beast jumps out, growling and-"

"WE KILL IT!" Twilight shouted.

"The black bear fall over dead."

"OH NO!" Fluttershy gasped.

"Self-defense! Self-defense! It shouldn't have jump scared us like that!" Rainbow defended.

The girls hadn't gotten a dozen yards before, "Super rare giant zombie at twelve o'clock, and a giant spider."

"Fighting retreat girls!" Twilight shouted.

The girls weren't doing all that bad, until another creeper due to the power of dice rolls wandered in and went off.

The girls all respawned together in one place... on top of another giant tree...

"On the bright side, the creeper took out the giant zombie too," Spike offered.

Rainbow Dash broke her pencil in two.

"Agh! In Paranoia at least we were having fun dying! At least with Twilight's brother we were doing something HEROIC while dying! Here we're just aimlessly wandering and keep getting ambushed and killed! Did we start playing Dark Spirits when I wasn't looking?!"

In game, Twilight at Pinkie's request cast 'Disperse Illusion' on the sky, which remained intact.

"Nope?" Pinkie Pie offered.

Spike looked up from the rule book. "Hey! Says here that you can actually teleport to where you last died in this version. Uh... girls, girls?" Spike didn't like the way they were looking at him. "UH!" He threw the dice and said without looking. "You encounter a nice friendly non-hostile zebra who just wants to help you! Uh, and! Shouldn't you girls establish your different spawn points and home bases by now? The zebra says she and her friends are willing and help and everything! AND! AND! SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!" Spike ran for it.

Session 4.2 Alex Warlorn

Silver Spoon had just finished writing her first dungeon adventure. She wasn't going to make a career out of it, but it felt like a fun little thing to do. At Diamond Tiara's suggestion, she made it a horror themed adventure set in that Raven-something setting. Satisfied, she went to bed.

She dreamed of herself in vampire hunter garb, with silver weapons, cross, salt bullets, and various other tools to hunt the various types of undead and creatures that prowled the night.

The gates swung open before her by an unseen force, and she slowly trotted into the graveyard.

She found a pack of werewolves waiting for her.

Silver Spoon drew her silver twin blade rapier and salt blunderbuss.

Then a dark storm started above her, and the werewolves whimpered and ran off. The storm condensed into Princess Luna.

Silver Spoon took one look at the Princess, and fell to her knees in terror.

"I'm SORRY! I didn't meant to negatively stereotype bat ponies or imply your night was evil! This wasn't a scheme to give the blank flanks nightmares I Pinkie Pie Swear! Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!" The foal blubber at her hooves.

Princess Luna stared in shock. "My word. My little pony! We have not come to punish ye! Nor have we come to berate ye for thine creative work! We are here to help ye."

"I promise I never write anything bad about the night again--- huh?"

"Now we know what our sister goes through every time somepony spills a glass of milk in her presence."

"But... when I saw you... I heard... about..."

"UGH! Shining Armor himself already felt unconsciously that he had gone too far in his adventure's bleak, cruel setting. We merely made sure he understood what he was trying to TELL HIMSELF! We came here to help a creative foal who wanted to write a ghost story how to tweak her work... "

"Oh," Silver Spoon said, still in groveling position.

Luna sighed. "Firstly, thine werewolves, having them appear in a graveyard instead of zombies is a clever twist upon thy player, but ye best make sure your characters start out the adventure at a high enough level if thy wish to have them tackle FIRST those cursed by the mark of the wolf first in their adventure to defeat evil instead of some lesser evil. Always make sure the strength of thy heroes and those of the beasts are not of such a great gab that neither challenge nor hope of winning are gone. And thy need to have the werewolves jump scare the players."

Silver Spoon blinked, "Huh?"

"If thou art going for terror, then ye need to catch thine players off guard. Don't have them just waiting out in the open. Have them hiding behind the grave stones, let your heroes think zombies will be their opponent, prepare, then caught off guard by the clever and cunning beasts that were-ponies ARE! They are creatures with all the intelligence of a pony, but without any of the scruples that bind a sapient mind, and driven by a desire to spread their curse to whoever they can combined with a love of violence that puts owlbears to shame. As our friend Pipsqueak taught us, it must be scary but fun."

Silver Spoon was writing down notes (and a side note to add Pipsqueak to the 'butter up to get ahead' list to give to Diamond Tiara).

Session 4.3 Alex Warlorn

Meanwhile, the mane six were once again set to try another setting while Spike.... recovered, and THEY recovered.

"So where is our foray into the land of fantasy and adventure taking us this time dear Twilight?" Rarity asked elegantly.

"Remember those... adaption of our lives that we got sent early copies of?... Well, it seems that got together with the makers of WarHorse 40-Carrots, and-"

"WARHORSE?! AH YEAH! THIS IS GONNA ROCK!" Rainbow Dash flew up and pumped her fists. The others looked at her. "What? You never heard of Warhorse? It's only the coolest and more intense and most badflank series ever!"

Twilight took in a deep breath and said in a pleasant voice. "Uh, Rainbow Dash, you DO realize all that ... 'intensity and 'badflank' is intended as a PARODY of excessively grim and dark creative works and weren't actually intended to be taken serious?"

"Heretic!"

"No offense sugarcube," AJ said, "But Ah hear that game really sucks the bits right out of yer wallet with yer army bein' determined by how many little models ya buy."

"That's what they say about every hobby," Rainbow Dash waved off.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Well, let's open her up." Twilight opened the box she had under the table and scanned through the introduction. "Oh...."

"What?" Fluttershy didn't like that look, in fact, she didn't like the idea of this game at all from what the others were saying, but she wouldn't judge until she played, maybe she'd be surprised?

"We aren't playing as ourselves in the setting, and we aren't having characters of the setting visiting Equestria... they reworked the REAL Equestria to serve as the setting of the game."

Fluttershy paled. The others fell silent.

"... Apparently... in this... Sombra and Discord attacked at the same time... C-Celestia, C-Cadence... and..... B-BBBFF?! All got turned into Sombra's personality rewritten crystaline minions with 'Crystestia' being at the bottom of the totem poll and spreading his evil crystallizing magic further in his forced absence cut off from Equestria . . . and... Discord succeeded in his plans, fed us to some Elder Evil who ripped out all our good parts of our personalities and tender memories, and turned us into chaos demons and spread his evil across Equestria at the same time, and Princess Luna fell into such despair she turned into Nightmare Moon again with Zecora as her servant and in Luna's last act of sanity, she sealed closed Equestria to keep hell from reaching the rest of the world . . .

"The changelings have sided with the remaining free ponies out of sheer need for survival. The ponies have formed an 'Imperium', just to survive, having become as ruthless and brutal as the enemy just to live to see the next day. Oh, and the now grown-up Cutie Mark Crusaders are the 'bad-flank' spear-heads of the Imperium, and technically the new Elements of Harmony with two a piece but... I don't think it's any definition of Harmony I'd want to embrace, and gave up their cutie marks to claim them. Oh, and we want to turn our little sisters into demons too (like Applejack has done to the rest of her family already), and the Cutie Mark Crusaders just want to kick our flanks because we're not their family anymore in any way that matters, except Rainbow Dash, she's the demon lord of apathy.

Oh. And Tirek was crushed as an afterthought by the chaos demons before he could do anything."

"Somehow... that doesn't make me feel better," Rarity said, looking sick to her stomach. The others had similar expressions.

Fluttershy shakenly raised her hoof. "Can we... can we PLEASE not play that game? Pretty please?"

Straight maned Pinkie Pie said, "I don't really get how that game is supposed to be fun."

"Ah gotta say, yer brother's 'overwhelming overpowered ruthless and smart alien invasion' sounded more cheerful than THAT!" AJ shook her head.

Rainbow Dash just stared. She didn't look that excited or charged up to play anymore. "I... uh... can we go back to being killed over and over by Spike again please?"

Twilight Sparkle grinned insanely, and dropped the book into a paper shredder. "Oops! Accident! You all saw it!" Hairs started to stick out. "Sooooooo, whose for a game of Crystals and Rainbows Generation 3.5?" She took out the game book with a picture of a pink Princess Rarity and a blue Spike on the cover.

Everypony looked at the most logical pony to object.

Instead Rainbow grinned and said, "I always dress in style! Hoof me my character sheet!"

Session 4.4 Ardashir (with minor edits)

Spike glanced at some of the character art for 'Chaos Ponyville'. He blinked when he saw the demonic version of Rarity. "Wow, is that a draconic version of her? She looks lovelier than ever. Maybe this game wouldn't be too bad after all -- ULP!"

He froze as Twilight flipped the book open to show him what HE became in that world.

"Take a look, Spike."

Spike did so, and his scaly eyes bugged from their sockets.

"Hey, I don't look so bad. Wait a minute! I what?! AHHH! Who WROTE this thing?"

"I'd like to know myself," Discord said as he appeared in a flash of light. "I did like some parts, I think my patented Discord makeover on you ladies was an improvement." He snapped his fingers and the Mane Six disappeared behind a screen with him suddenly in a barber's outfit. There was a dust storm that vanished to show the mares in their Chaos Demon forms. "Ta-da!"

All six shrieked as one.

"What happened to YOU! What happened to ME! AHHHH! Change us back!"

"Hmmph! If I charged bits for it everypony would want it." Discord snapped his fingers and they were back to normal. As they checked to be sure they were restored (and Twilight making sure none of their souls were missing), he looked at the game again and held it like it was covered in grim. "But uggh, this setting is too bleak even for me! Who writes this stuff, anyway?" He dropped the second book in the paper shredder as well.

Many miles away:

"Yo, Garble, when are we gonna get our royalties like you said?" Baff and the other dragons closed in menacingly on Garble. "Our dads are getting tired of waitin' for us ta repay what we borrowed from their hoards ta make that game."

"Any day now, guys!" Garble hid behind the mailbox. "Like I said, once everyone who doesn't like those namby-pamby ponies sees what we did, the bits will be pouring in!"

Session 4.5 Kendell2

The ponies (and one dragon) had no idea how they ended up in the situation they were currently in.

For starters, instead of sitting at their table back home, they were in Tartarus. Literally. Hellfire, brimstone, and darkness, everything. And the table was pink. They weren't being tormented or even that uncomfortable, it was just visiting hours. Yes, Tartarus apparently had visiting hours.

Second, Discord had invited them to play some good old table top RPGs. That wasn't the odd part.

Lord Tirek set there in his cage glaring daggers at them. No, a more accurate description would be glaring buster swords.

"Discord...why are we here?" Twilight cautiously asked.

"Oh don't worry, Twilight, Tirek here is harmless, I mean look at how weak and frail he is after you literally blasted him to Tartarus, he couldn't suck a newborn unicorn's magic!"

That just seemed to make the condemned Centaur more angry, to the point Pinkie was surprised his black fur hadn't turned red yet.

"As for why you're here, I'm trying to do Tirry the favor you did me and reform him!" Discord exclaimed, wrapping his arm around Tirek's neck and rubbing his scalp.

"STOP THAT YOU IDIOT!"

"Not until you say uncle!"

Naturally, the ponies weren't all very happy about this situation...

"...I think it's worth a try..." Fluttershy said. No one questioned why, she was Fluttershy. She had succeeded in touching the heart of Chaos himself. It might have been worth a shot.

Or, as Dash thought, Discord was probably trying to drive Tirek insane. Either were probable options for the 'Uncrowned Princess of Chaos.'

"Alright, how about this one?" Spike asked, producing the Warhorse adaptation.

"SPIKE?!" asked Twilight. "What are you thinking?!"

"That it might be too dark even for Tirek," Spike whispered back.

"Why am I not surprised that book went to Tartarus?" Rarity said.

Tirek looked over the story of the game (after Discord 'convinced' him by threatening to be his roommate for a week)...and seemed unsettlingly interested in the premise...until he got to one specific line.

"WHAT?! I AM CAPTURED BY YOUR CHAOS DEMON SELVES OFFSCREEN?!" the evil centaur bellowed so loudly the ponies had to cover their ears. "I WILL SKIN THE IDIOT THAT WROTE THIS SLANDER ALIVE IF I EVER GET OUT OF HERE!"

Garble suddenly felt a cold chill go down his spine.

"Eh, we didn't like it anyway..." Spike muttered, picking it up and throwing it into a conveniently placed lava pit. "How about this one?" he asked, holding up a box with what looked like a human dressed like a medieval version of Darth Vadar with the Alicorn Amulet on the cover. "It's about trying to stop some human with the Alicorn Amulet from taking over Equestria."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Ugh, that one's writer must have something against Princess Celestia, he makes her an utter idiot."

Tirek looked over the bio, seeming to like it at first...then actually had his black fur turn red with rage. "I GET SHOT IN THE HEAD WITH A SHOT GUN AND KILLED BEFORE MY CONQUEST CAN EVEN START?!"

"There it is!" Pinkie said. "He even has smoke coming out his ears."

Spike muttered and threw the box and game over his shoulder. "Okay, how about this one..., oh this one was were Discord was still a bad guy."

"Eh, I don't mind, I play games were I'm a boss fight all the time, I just pretend it's me when I made those choices when you ask WHAT WERE YOU THINKING PAST ME?!" Discord replied.

Another Discord poked his head out of a portal. "Sorry, I honestly don't know."

"Not now past me! I don't want to talk about that!" present Discord replied.

"You're doing something involving the ponies from that G3 game Pinkie likes in a time loop thing and-"

Tirek cleared his throat. "What happens to me?"

"Oh...you get recaptured offscreen."

This time, Tirek actually allowed his arms to be burned by the blessed iron of the bars to throw the game into the lava pit himself. "DEFEATING THE MIGHTY LORD TIREK IS ONE THING! BUT! I! WILL! NOT! BE! TRIVIALIZED!"

"Geeze! Fine..." Spike muttered.

"I'll pick!" Pinkie Pie said, pulling out Crystals and Rainbows Generation 3.5. "You're not in this one."

Tirek blinked. "...I have the feeling I'm not going to enjoy this..."

Discord merely smiled wide as a Cheshire Cat. "Oh don't worry, this one is FUN!"

Session 4.6 Alex Warlorn

Pinkie Pie sat behind the Dungeon Master (or Rainbow Maker as the game called them) screen, and wailed in into the table. The fiery pits of Tartarus looked preferable to what she was enduring right now. The others had left (citing it was late), only Pinkie Pie remained determined.

"Did you hear me?" Tirek said. "After I finish tying Ice Scoop to the chair, I tape a bear to her in a hug pose, and since I gave her the bear, and according the rules on page 19, paragraph three, this means I gain friendship points for however long she continues to hug the bear, along with Night Shine, and Shine-A-Belle, I should level up in next in game hour."

"Yes I heard. And Bowtie finds you asks what you're doing to them all tied up."

Tirek didn't miss a beat. "I tell her she likes that sort of thing, unless she wants to judge Ice Scoop and the others for what they like, and they should feel bad for liking something she doesn't."

"UGH! SHE-! SHE! She apologizes. But she says she says you still owe her the rainbow berries for the teddy bears."

"I give her the Puppy Dog Eyes, and tell how it's okay, that it's just my friends' birthday and that she really likes teddy bears, but if she really needs the rainbow berries THAT bad, I'm sure I could work long in the cold dark fields at night to get more."

Pinkie Pie shivered. "A-alright. Bow Tie gives you the bears for free, having been moved by your story."

"Of course." Tirek said smirking.

Pinkie Pie wanted to pull her mane out.

"Alright... Tingle Belle," Pinkie Pie, or rather, Pinkamena trying to be Pinkie Pie at this point, "Your pegasus character sees a bad storm cloud moving towards Brights Brightly's house... it's sure to give her a bad dream, and-"

"I wait until she starts having nightmares, THEN get rid of the cloud, having saved her from the storm, and then consulting her on her bad dreams, it should give four times the number of friendship points if I'd just stopped the storm right away, as it says on page twenty-five, paragraph 2-"

Pinkie Pie wondered if a nice vacation to the rock farm was in order.

Session 4.7 BrutalityInc

Spike entered the chamber with a game box tugged in his arms, a fresh purchase from the Ponyville game store. But when he placed it on the table for the Mane Six (Plus Trixie) to examine, they found the game to be different from what they were expecting.

"What the hay is this? This ain't the game we were planning to play." Applejack said.

"Sorry girls, the store clerk said the O&O 'Bloodlines' campaign setting module got completely sold out yesterday, and they are not expecting another shipment until next weekend." Spike explained, one claw scratching the back of his head. "However, I noticed that this game seem to have a similar theme as O&O Bloodlines, so I thought you might want to try it."

The cover showed the picture of a square-jawed pony's head, and alongside that of a griffon's, a diamond dog's, a dragon's, a minotaur's, and a several others. They were all staring into the distance, with firm and determined gazes beneath their ornate military helmets, indicating their status as leaders. Beneath them was a sword, tip pointing onto a hemispherical globe, both against against a background of burning flames.

"It looks like a board-game for eggheads." Rainbow Dash commented. She was a mare of action, hot and fast, and never one for strategy.

"I think it is." Twilight said, "If the title is any indications, it looks like some sort of military strategy game, like Risk, maybe with diplomacy as part of the game-play." She conjectured, recognizing the time period the characters, the sword and the map on the cover art came from. "Not an RPG by any stretch of the word..."

"Well, I suppose there's still no harm in trying it, darlings. Novelty is the spice of life, after all." Rarity remarked, stepping in to defend Spike's decision before the other girls raise further objections, "Besides, it's not like we have anything else to try this week. We'll just be role-playing entire kingdoms, instead of just the heroic rulers of kingdoms as in Bloodlines."

The other ponies present regarded the game box with a moment's hesitation. Then, collectively, they shrugged and decided to give it a go.

= = =

"Allow me tah put this on record; Ah got mah friend Rarity. Ah'll trust Rarity with mah cart. Ah'll trust Rarity with mah taxes. Ah'll even trust Rarity with our family orchard, if it comes to that. But..." Applejack growled in anger, "I'll never, ever, ever, EVER trust that stuck-up tailor mare with Warmbloed, now, always and thereafter!"

At this, Rarity merely gave a derisive humph, before turning her attention back to her game, leaving the thoroughly defeated farmer mare to brood.

Rainbow Dash and Twilight were both correct in that this was a strategy game, set in a historical period of powerful colonial empires, continent-spanning alliances and grand geopolitical machinations. The objective of the game was simple; take over the world presented in the game map.

The game-play was unique compare to other tabletop strategy or RPG games in many ways. Seven players, each representing a key nation, must use their armies and navies in order to gain control of the dozens of supply centers, represented-by and representing cities and provinces, all over the map. There was no dice-play; instead there was a five-phase turn which represents an entire year, with each pony making their moves simultaneously by submitting their orders in written form to an adjudicator (Spike), then carrying them out.

A game manual specified that the game was designed with the intent of teaching diplomacy and history, thereby encouraging players to make alliances, negotiate and plan with each other in order to achieve victory. But the final note specifies the golden rule: there could only be one winner out of the seven.

The resulting session was absolutely the most intense, hair-raising, temper-flaring and downright explosive tabletop experience the Mane Six ever experienced.

They did make alliances with one another just to survive the first few rounds, but as time went on, the game became an out-of-control whirlwind of conspiracies, secret pacts, deceits and betrayals. Outrage and mistrust took hold of the table as the ponies moved against each other to gain even the slightest advantage, all grasping for the total victory, of which there could only be one.

Trying to play a fair, honest and honorable game, Applejack discovered to her dismay, was a recipe for defeat, where even a single wrong move could spell complete disaster to a seemingly unchallenged winning streak. Applejack was hard pressed as it is to hold what she had; her defining virtue, Honesty, prevented her from using tactics that would allow her to make any gains where the others could with their tricks and schemes.

Then there was the way she lost: She TRUSTED Rarity with holding the supply center/city of Warmbloed, only to have Rarity 'carelessly' lose it to an invasion, which Applejack had to compensate for with her forces. What followed within the next three turns was a convoluted series of events that culminating in her losing her ENTIRE EMPIRE to none other than Rarity.

And Rarity, the no-good varmint, gave a not-too-subtle hint that this was her entire plan ALL ALONG!

Well, at least she did better than Rainbow Dash; she was the Element of Loyalty, which might explain why she lost merely TEN MINUTES into the game. Right now she is cheering for Fluttershy, who was doing surprisingly well.

Fluttershy herself was cowering at the sound of an explosive table-pounding argument, the fifteenth this session: Twilight was a nervous wreck with frazzled hair and twitching eyes staring a thousand yards away, from having to watch her back for any back-stabs and power-plays against her empire by her formerly-trusted friends, and her disposition not help by an angry Pinkie Pie, flat-maned and face a snarl, yelling and breathing down her neck over a move that ended up costing Pinkie her capital supply center (critical for raising any new forces), and by the end of the turn reducing her to down to just ONE last stronghold with just ONE army, ready for a pitiful last stand.

Pinkie’s loss, AJ knew, would leave that show-mare Trixie and Rarity as the strongest players on the board, evenly matched, with Fluttershy being in the unfortunate position of the king-maker of the match in her weakened position. Already she could see them trying to badger Fluttershy, one turn or the next, to join them in their alliance, either buttering her up with sweet sugary words or making empty promises that she was struggling to not accept.

To be fair, she was not surprised that Trixie and Rarity took to the game like fish to water, the former particularly, what with her being a master of tricks and illusions and generally unscrupulous nature (She caught her twice trying to pull a ‘Flying Dutchmare’ on them by putting counters when no pony is looking, which surprisingly ISN’T against the rules so long as she removes them when ask).

Spike took the lull in the session to go comfort Applejack, “There, there. It’s not your fault that you lost. It’s just how the game is like; I didn’t know it would be so mean-spirited when I bought it.”

“Mean-spirited doesn’t cut it in when it actively encourages you tah be a plottin’, lyin’ cheat tah yah friends,” Applejack grumbled. “Ah’m gonna sock that son-o-weeds who made this’ ere game if ah git mah hooves on ‘em!”

“The game itself is over fifty years old, according to the box; whoever they were, they probably retired in some estate on some vacation island from all the money selling this, at the very least.” Spike remarked. “You could ask the game store lady what she was thinking when she suggested this game to me; for some weird reason, she seems… very persuasive.”

Applejack raised an eyebrow. Then she dismissed her concerns and waved Spike off. As Spike returned to his seat to continue the session, neither he or anypony else noticed the very faint green glow glinting in his silted pupils.

= = =

Far away in a distant secret stronghold, Queen Chrysalis was laughing at the scene playing out in her scry-mirror.

Her plan was one-part a long-term project of subversion, and one-part an act of petty revenge. Ever since the failed Canterlot Wedding (And many other failed schemes thereafter), she had been monitoring her enemies with her ring of infiltrators for every possible avenue to get rid of the greatest obstacles to her kind’s conquest of Equestria. When she heard about the Mane Six was getting into tabletop RPG and other board-games, she hatched a plan to exploit this opportunity just as every other, and trivial it may be.

It was a cunning yet simple plan. Have one of the few changeling infiltrators already stationed in Ponyville to knock out and replace the game store clerk for the day, hide all the O&O modules from the racks before opening time, so that when Spike came into store, the infiltrator could ‘suggest’ (With a hypnotic spell, and a scry spell implanted in his mind which could allow them to see the results from his eyes) the young dragon whelp to buy ONE particular board game to bring home for the Mane Six to play with. The store clerk’s memories of course would be altered accordingly to hide the deed; she wasn’t important enough to be replaced permanently with an agent. This memory spell worked solely because he WANTED to remember selling the game, after all, a sale was a sale.

Board-games are said to bring friends together, but according to her spies, ‘Diplomacy’ has gained notoriety as the game which destroys friendships and ruins lives, despite the publishers’ intentions. If the game DOES break the Mane Six’s friendship, unlikely as it is, then it’ll serve Queen Chrysalis well by neutralizing Rainbow Power as a threat to her, allowing her to deal with them later at her leisure. Even if it doesn’t, at least she has the satisfaction of sowing discord among the hated Mane Six and watching these pathetic little pain-in-her-backsides bicker and fight over a board-game, which is pure comedy gold.

Either way, a win-win for her.

A knock on her door distracted her from her diabolically mirthful musings. She turned her attention from the scry-mirror to see a changeling lieutenant at the door to her chambers.

“What is it? Can’t you see I’m busy?!” She snapped, already considering what agonizing torments to inflict upon him for disturbing her.

“Begging your pardon, my queen,” the changeling lieutenant began, sweating a bit “But there’s been a brawl in the barracks. Apparently, there had been uproar over a table-top game session amongst the off-duty changeling guards.”

Queen Chrysalis’ eyes widened “Again? I thought I gave an edict that table-top games are BANNED for the changelings!”

“So we told them.” The changeling lieutenant answered diplomatically. “We have already confiscated the contraband and arrested the changeling players. Shall we deal with them the usual punishments?”

Queen Chrysalis resisted the urge to roll her eyes, “Of course. Why would I have ordered it otherwise? Now get to it and leave me alone, or I’ll have you punished along with them! Also, have some of your troop do a search to make sure other disobedient ones might not have any more hidden.”

As the changeling lieutenant bowed and backed away to perform his duties, Queen Chrysalis rubbed the side of her head in frustration. Having increasing numbers of her changeling minions and subjects smuggling in Equestrian books to read, filling them with subversive ideas, is bad enough as it is, now tabletop games that distracts them from their duties! What is it they saw in them, she’ll never know.

Perhaps she should have one of her minions bring her one of the confiscated ones and see what the fuss was about. It’s not like any changeling would dare question her if she decides to flaunt her own rules…

Session 4.8 Alex Warlorn

That was when Princess Celestia kicked down the door, and blasted the game board, setting it on fire.

Spike breathed a sigh of relief that Princess Celestia had come when she did.

The seven ponies stopped dead in their arguments, as if waking up from a dream... straight maned Pinkie Pie gingerly released Twilight Sparkle from her grasp, slowly trotted over to Gummy and gave him a hug. Trixie blushed looking for her hat so she could hide her face behind it. Fluttershy couldn't have looked more relieved. Rainbow Dash for her part hugged Fluttershy more for her own comfort than hers.

"MY EMPIRE! My beautiful happily run, perfectly aligned, everything in perfect order, Empire!"

Everypony looked at Rarity who was trying to save the table (rather than the game), but she wasn't the one who had spoken.

"Twilight! It's just a game!" Applejack dragged her away from the table as she tried to save the game.

"My reign over the world would have been magical!" Twilight wailed waving her arms.

"I thought that game was negated by Equestria parliament." Celestia sighed. "I am sorry my faithful student. The dangers of this game were supposed to be standard for all of my students . . . after Sunset Shimmer became almost addicted to it."

"WAIT!" Rainbow Dash said. "If you KNEW this game was this much trouble, WHY didn't you just ban it?!"

"Well, if we banned the game, that would just make curious ponies want it more, so we put an absurdly high tax on it, spread information about the game's harmful nature, and released several cheaper non-back stabbing encouraging substitutes, and threw in royal endorsement for good measure."

"B-but WHY?" Twilight Sparkle asked, slowly coming to her senses.

"I'll admit, if this was say, the world on the other side of the mirror, such steps would be perhaps extreme, even forceful, but for Equestria-"

There was a knock on... well, the door on the floor.

Spike hopped over to the front door... to find the Windigos waiting there in the street creating a light snow fall.

"Excuse us, but we smelled some really tasty hatred and strife, mind if we come in for a dinner date?" The largest one asked.

At the same time, three ponies with fin-like wings, sharp teeth and aquatic traits, stepped through the world mirror. They were holding a device that might have been stolen from the human Twilight Sparkle's lab regarding detecting different wavelengths of magic.

"I'm telling you girls! The amount of negativity this thing is picking up, we'll be ruling the world again in no time! And-"... The sirens looked up from the device to where they were. They stared at Twilight Sparkle and the other heroes, and PRINCESS CELESTIA right in the room with them.

"Hiiiii Celestia!" The blue siren waved happily.

"Hello Sonata," Celestia replied as politely as she could to the childlike deep sea horror.

"RUN YOU IDIOTS!" Adagio screamed grabbing her two sisters and running like Tartarus back through the world mirror like the sun herself was after them.

The Windigos meanwhile looked at each other. Also realizing the sun goddess herself was in the room with all the tasty hate and strife that had pulled them back from the neither world... Considering 'risk vs gain.'

"Uh..." Twilight said quickly, "All is forgiven? Friends forever? Rainbow Power up? Blast the bad guys? Yay?"

Session 4.9 Kendell2

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon had been convinced to give playing with the Crusaders another chance. Naturally, given how it'd ended last time, it'd required bribery, but Twilight was a Princess after all. Though any requests for wings were naturally denied.

Spike was currently doing his best to keep the filly's cat from getting in trouble...or eating things he shouldn't.

However, this time the GM was neither the CMC nor their rivals, but Pipsqueak. The little colt was normally the physical sort, but there was no doubting how imaginative he was, which made him perfect for the job.

With Princess Twilight herself keeping an eye on things, the group prepared to set off on a pirate themed adventure. Pip was GM, what ELSE would he pick?

"Alright, name your ships!"Pip exclaimed.

Soon enough, Diamond and Silver had named their ship The Invincible (after passing over The Cashcow) and the Crusaders had dubbed theirs The Crusader.

"Really?" Applebloom asked.

"At least it's more creative than what YOU could come up with," Diamond snapped back.

And so the game began, the two crews doing their best to secure their rule over the Seven Seas.

Naturally, this resulted in a few PVP clashes ending with one crew or the other to get a new ship, several dungeons (which their insistence to do different dungeon at the same time often required Twilight to step in to be an assistant DM) were they amassed a great deal of wealth. But Twilight did notice that as the game went on, they did begin to be more focused on in game.

However, the current quest was to find the long lost treasure of an infamous pirate. It wasn't the over all ending of the story, more a 'first act' ending...And the two groups found out there's only ONE treasure once the two groups had both leveled up enough to reach it.

"...We're getting there first!" was both group's reaction.

And thus started the race to get the treasure. Knowing how it would end up if they arrived on the same shore, a storm mysteriously resulted in them arriving on opposite ends of the island.

What resulted was a mad dash through the dungeon to try and reach the pirate's ship in a hidden cove deep inside it's recesses. Pipsqueek might have said there was a guardian, but the foals forgot that in their desire to outdo the others.

Diamond and Silver, despite having one less member, managed to keep pace. Primarily due to Diamond being a surprisingly effective leader when she actually TRIED to be.

The Crusaders had team work down to an art form, and by this stage in the game had figured out how to chain their individual abilities. While Button wasn't playing, he did also offer Sweetie some tips on how to use her 'shantyman' class (who was functionally a bard). He was a gamer after all.

The two pirate crews were neck and neck getting through the difficult dungeon full of undead skeletons and puzzles, the CMC struggling at parts Diamond and Silver did easily while the opposite also happened.

Finally, the two raid parties found themselves on the ship at the exact same time.

"What?!" Diamond asked. "This can't be right! I demand a recount!"

"Yah musta cheated!" Applebloom replied.

"Did not! You all saw the dice fall where they may!" Diamond replied.

"Uh...girls..." Pip said.

"Well then let's just settle this," Scootaloo replied, preparing her stat card.

"GIRLS!" Twilight yelled, getting both team's attention.

"Yes, Princess Twilight?" Silver asked.

Pip cleared his throat. "The guardian of the ship hears your arrival, and he's mighty angry I do say."

The two groups blinked, looking to one another. "Guardian?"

The Guardian, as it turned out, was a Krakken. A pretty high leveled one.

And Pip had rolled the beast's attack roll for both teams and managed to land both, and win the grapple checks. Both Sweetie Belle and Silver Spoon.

"My pirate captain attacks the tentacle!" Applebloom and Diamond shouted together.

Both one the attack roll. Both lucked out and managed to get their Improved Critical (which both had achieved) for bonus damage. Scootaloo managed an attack as well, and next turn (after Applebloom and Diamond both received a blow from the beast), the limbs health was depleted and their friends were freed.

And the final boss began...and Twilight noticed something.

The longer the rather difficult boss battle went on...

"I use a shanty to buff Diamond's attack stat," Sweetie chimed in, being the end of her turn and the beginning of Diamond and Silver's.

"I use a potion to heal Applebloom," Silver reported, doing so when Applebloom's health was low.

When Diamond Tiara got grappled, all party members attacked the offending limb.

Twilight smiled as at last the five fillies managed to finish off the Kraken...in fact they were so caught up in the moment, Pip had to tell them it was already dead and no one really knew the one person who finished it.

Loot was divided between the teams.

"Good job there."

Yeah, not bad..."

At that point Applebloom and Diamond Tiara remembered the person they'd just defeated a hard boss alongside was someone they were supposed to hate.

"Uh..."

"Uh..."

Diamond did her best to regain her composure. "Well...that was...exciting."

Applebloom nodded. "Yeah...kinda...forgot it was a game for a bit..."

"...Thanks for...you know, cutting off it's arm when it grabbed me."

"Thanks for the health potion..."

"...No pony at school but Pip hears about this."

"Agreed...see yah next week?"

"...Yes...the Princess is here, why would I pass that up?"

Session 4.10 Mooncalf

"Okay, going by the title… this game has aliens?" Rainbow Dash ventured. "Do we get to kick their scaly hindquarters this time, or is this another one where we get ground up into little bits?"

Twilight tapped her hooves excitedly, a big grin on her face. "Neither. You get to be the aliens!" After giving her friends a moment to take in this bit, she continued, "At first, this seemed more like something Pinkie Pie or Discord would run, but I read the description, and well… see, it's like this. Equestria has finally made first contact with alien life, and they love it here. Because we have fun things most of them have never experienced, like… cake, and fashionable clothes, and racing, and friendship!"

Pinkie drew a sharp breath as she made a realization. "What about parties?"

"Aliens don't have parties," Twilight said solemnly. "Until they met us ponies. And now they want to know all about it. So they're sending their young as exchange students and diplomats to learn."

"Sounds wacky," Rainbow Dash said. "So what kinda aliens are there?"

"Any you can think of," Twilight said offhoofedly. "Make something up. Anything's fine, really."

Discord raised an inquiring claw. "Anything…? Really anything?"

"Anything," Twilight confirmed with a wide smirk. "It's a big universe. As long as you roll for your stats properly and pick some defined abilities, anything goes."

"Any… thing…" the draconequus said slowly.

Next week…

"Okay!" Twilight said cheerfully to the gathered group. "Everyone's made a character, then? Let's make a quick introduction and see what you've come up with. Pinkie, why don't you begin."

"I'm Hungry," Pinkie announced.

"You can have a snack after you've told us about your character," Twilight said.

Pinkie giggled. "No, that's my character's name! Hungry! I'm a member of an extra-Equestrial race of gourmands from the planet Luncheon-Five, who seek the ultimate culinary experience, and they want to know what Equestria has to offer. Malicious rumors abound that we're on our fifth planet because we ate the previous four. This is entirely true."

"And apparently you can eat anything," Twilight said, looking over the character sheet, already stained with soda and icing. "Sounds fun. Next up, Rarity?"

"Known only as The Disco Diva From Dimension D, where disco isn't dead, but life itself!" Rarity tittered, her cheeks red. "It's horrible, I know, but I decided to go a little crazy with it. Expect horribly, horribly outdated fashion and slang."

"I would expect nothing less," Twilight agreed. "Who's next?"

"Trixie wanted to be a star, a bright, beautiful star," Trixie said. "Then she decided to be an actual star."

"A star," Twilight repeated. "As in a gigantic ball of burning gas."

"Shrunken down to manageable size, obviously," the showpony said. "And taken on a vaguely pony-like form, but still shining brightly, so she can learn the ways of you non-stellar objects without terrifying them too much with her greatness. Ponyfeathers, I forgot to come up with a name…"

"So now you have an in-game reason to expect the world to rotate around you," Twilight said with a nod. "Okay, Discord. You have some tough competition here. What did you come up with?"

"Oh, I think my character sheet speaks loudly enough for me," Discord said, sliding a paper over to her. Contrary to expectations, it didn't actually start talking, so she picked it up and read it.

And read it again. Finally she lowered it again. "You're playing as an Equestrian pony?"

"An earth pony, to be specific," Discord said. "With a plus three bonus to the skill 'being very boring'."

"Okay, sure, the rules do support it, and it rounds out the group nicely so I won't have to rely on NPCs all the time, but…" Twilight stared at him. "...why?"

"You said anything goes," Discord reminded her. "Anything at all, with only my boundless imagination as a limit. No matter how otherworldly and outrageous, it would be just fine and acceptable." He smirked. "And where's the fun in that?"

Session 4.11 Ardashir

"Oh, um, me?" Fluttershy shyly handed her character sheet over. "My character's Mane Agery, she's here to study our world's biology and animals..."

"This sounds familiar," Dash said. Fluttershy blushed but continued.

"And she can transform into animals..."

"Really sounds familiar," Applejack smiled.

Fluttershy somehow blushed even harder. "Umm, but only animals from HER world. And they're all big, scary, monsters from a Horsecraft story -- and she think they're cute and doesn't get that they're scary."

"Huh, well, anyway," Rainbow Dash leaned back in her chair. "My character is Wings Maximus, and he is totally obsessed with being the fastest racer in one of those 'space car' things Twi told us about."

"Good to see that you strove for something different for once," Discord said, the words forming a word bubble that he dipped a cup of coffee into before eating it, dish and all.

"Hey, buddy!" Dash said. "Anyway, Wings came here to show everypony else what a real flier looks like." She grinned. "The prob is? He's afraid of heights. Still loves to race though, so he spends his time taking his friends everywhere in his roadster, flying a rocket through the streets. I figure he must have the best set of parking tickets in the universe."

Everypony looked at Applejack.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in joke) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Princess Luna "We are the princess of dreams AND nightmares. And We're aware of the need for both. Now let us rejoin the antics with table top games already!"

It's also intended to be an INDEPENDENT UNIVERSE from the Pony POV Series OR the Pinkie Pie Variety Show! So things aren't esoteric.

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

Basic rule: EVERYONE IS IN CHARACTER!!!!

Session 4.0 MtangaLion (with a couple edits by me)
Session 4.1 Alex Warlorn
Session 4.2 Alex Warlorn (two at once)
Session 4.3 Alex Warlorn (two at once)
Session 4.4 Ardashir (with some minor edits by me)
Session 4.5 Kendell2
Session 4.6 Alex Warlorn
Session 4.7 BrutalityInc (For your reference, Diplomacy)
Session 4.8 Alex Warlorn
Session 4.9 Kendell2
Session 4.10 Mooncalf
Session 4.11 Ardashir

Cover art by Lightningtumble.

Session 5

Session 5.0 Mooncalf99

"Wings crashes through three newsstands, one pane of glass carried by two stallions, a cabbage stand, and the brick wall side of the flower shop," Twilight declared. "You're launched from your cockpit and pass out on a bed of roses with a traffic cone on your head, and will be Bonked for ten rounds. I bet you're glad this game doesn't allow for dying."

"You betcha!" Rainbow Dash announced proudly. "It means I get to do all kinds of crazy stuff and not have to worry about consequences. More importantly, is this enough of a distraction?"

"It's got to be," Rarity said. "Like, that was heinous to the extreme!"

"With that and Diva's impromptu dance act, it's more than enough, and the Mares In Black are too busy gawking to pay attention to their prisoner. I'm guessing Hungry makes her escape now?"

"You betcha!" Pinkie said. "I gnaw off the lock on the wagon door... om nom nom..." She tossed a hoofful of jelly beans into her mouth for effect. "Ooh, raspberry flavor! And then I run off, making woop-woop-woop noises as I go."

"I think this is an excellent opportunity for me to introduce Mane Agery and Bright Light to some traditional Equestrian forms of greetings," Discord said. "Specifically, how you say hello by kissing."

"Wait wait wait!" Trixie protested loudly. "What the - what - just what?"

Twilight facehoofed. "Don't tell me. Fake Out?"

"But of course," Discord said. "As an actual Equestrian pony, native to the very world that is considered the epitome of coolness by all other alien species, I would obviously know all about how we do it. So, kissing. Totally cool. Great way to make friends. You should do it."

"Oh, okay then," Fluttershy said calmly. "That makes sense to me, so I greet Bright Light the Equestrian way."

"Please please please tell Trixie you're not still shapeshifted into the monstrosity with all the eyes and mouths..." Trixie whimpered.

"Wings?" Twilight said. "Take two more Bonk from the pain of being soundly upstaged."

And Later Still Into The Game Session

Twilight picked up a half-dozen figurines and dropped them on the table. "The school science lab explodes, and you're all thrown out across the campus. You land on the lawn and take one Bonk each. What do you do?"

"Well, another disaster thanks to little Miss Stellar Object here," Discord snarked.

"Hey!" Trixie protested. "The Radiant and Incandescent Bright Light had no idea those canisters contained reactive substances! The labels said they were safe!"

"Well duh!" Rarity said. "'Inert when refrigerated', baby! That means 'cool', and your hooves are, like, a million degrees hot, right? I'm just glad I'm wearing my asbestos bellbottoms."

"And a good thing too, because those flammable materials seem to have mixed with some of the experimental mutagens in the lab," Twilight said. "Now, a gigantic monstrosity made of fiery tentacles rises from the rubble and lets out a keening cry."

"We have experimental mutagens in a High School science lab?" Rainbow Dash asked in disbelief. "Oh wait, what am I saying? Of course we do."

Fluttershy let out a gasp. "It's adorable! I think we have beasts just like it back home. Can I try to talk to it?"

"Better idea, let's throw Brighty at it and it might think she's its mommy," Pinkie suggested.

"Even better idea, get to the roadster and get out of here!" Trixie 'suggested'. "Besides, Bright Light is too young to start a family at this point! She has her idol singer career to focus on!"

"Unfortunately Wings' roadster is still in decontamination quarantine after your encounter with the negative zone care bears," Twilight informed them. "The only vehicle within range is… well, the school bus."

"We'll take it!" Rainbow said. "I haven't yet found a vehicle I can't push into sub-luminal velocities!"

The table's eight occupant, having been silent so far, cleared her throat. "Ahem."

"Ah, yes…" Twilight said happily. She was really warming up to this game, once she'd gotten over the insanity hurdle. "It seems like somepony has other ideas. Go ahead and introduce yourself, Applejack."

"All right, ya varmints!" Applejack barked. "Ah'm Upperclassmare Crimson Tape, student body president an' hall monitor fer life, an' ah've had it with yer antics! Yer not skippin' school on mah watch!"

"Bitchin', it's the fuzz," Rarity muttered. "Seriously, we've got a monster on our tails, and you want to bust us for truancy?"

"Fraid so, sugarcube," Applejack said with a smug grin. "Way I see it, y'all troublemakers need some good, old-fashioned discipline to straighten y'all out, an' ah'm the pony fer the job."

"Great…" Rainbow Dash groaned. "Trust AJ to play a buzzkill."

Discord tapped his cheek. "That seems fair, Miss President. Just a question, though. Are you, by any significant margin, bigger than us?"

"Uh, what?" Applejack asked, confused. "Don't think so, ah'm just a reg'lar earth pony. Why?"

"Just making sure," Discord said. "GRAB HER! GET ON THE BUS!"

"Waugh!" Applejack protested.

Session 5.1 Richforce

“Shinning Armor and Point Dexter found this game where?” Rarity asked Twilight.

“They said the pony who runs Enchanted Comics found this in his basement and that he thinks it was from when the previous owner tried his hoof at game making.”

“This isn’t gonna be like that Power Ponies comic we were dragged into?” said Applejack.

“Well according to the notes left behind it isn’t a total immersion, more like that we can see what our characters are doing while we play.”

“This isn’t another dark and grim one is it?” said Fluttershy.

“No but from what they could tell none of the previous play testers had ever finished a full campaign of ‘The Tale of the Bard’. Shining hopes that our ‘game breaking experience’ will let us finish it so Point Dexter can try to market this game.”

“Tale of the Bard? That class isn’t over powered is it?” asked Rainbow Dash. “Because if Pinkie chooses it she’ll throw off my awesome balance!”

“Actually it isn’t available for players,” said Twilight. “The name seems to come from a NPC that we will accompany that magically acts on his own. Our job is to help The Bard complete his quest to save an imprisoned princess.”

“Sounds like your basic story,” said Spike. “But it looks like the GM gets a special character like that too, someone called ‘The Narrator’”.

“Oh you try him out Spike!” said Pinkie. “Something tells me he’ll REALLY make this game fun!”

“Ok, most of the other characters seem to be your basic O&O classes so once you have them picked out we can get started.”
+++
As they set the game pieces on the board after set up the Mane Six saw their characters around the scruffy looking Stallion known only as the Bard. They stood before a high tower in the middle of pouring rain. Suddenly a voice rang out from nowhere.

“It had come to this at last. One stallion, a poet and a rouge, with no friends to speak of, no one to mourn his passing, should it come to that. Even those beside him are no more boon companions than bondservants summoned by sorcery and song, as cold and indifferent to him as the light of a wandering star.”

“Who was that?” asked Applejack.

“I think that was the Narrator,” said Spike.

“Bondservants?” asked Rarity.

“But I want to be his friend!” said Pinkie.

The Tower door opened before them and a large number of robed ponies came out armed with sickles and staffs.

“You’ve made a mistake in coming here,” said the one in the lead.

And at that word they rushed the party who readied their weapons and spells for an action packed battle.

“But to know where he is,” said the Narrator. “We must know where he’s from and to know that we must begin elsewhere…”

The scene changed to a bright sunny village.

“Hey, what happened to that awesome battle?!” said Rainbow Dash.

“Sorry RD,” said Spike “That was just one of those ‘in media res’ prologues.”

“I hate those! You get hyped up and then set back. Then by the time you finally get to where you were you’ve forgotten all about it and it suddenly makes the danger you were in feel artificial!”

The Narrator continued. “And not that long ago. A simple Stallion he was, with a quick wit and a sharp tongue, an eye for the mares and a talent for staying one step ahead of the law. Come to Trotton to play his tunes and make his way. He found himself standing outside the Drunken Rat, a public house owned by the widow Very Easy. The Bard readied his instrument and prepared to ply his trade.”

They saw the bard play a tune on a lute that summoned a rat from thin air. The rat then ran under the pub’s door squeaking. A second or two later they heard a mare’s scream as the Bard soon followed.

“Girls,” said Twilight. “I think this is one of the satirical games made to poke fun of the usual conventions of the genre.

“And that means?” said Fluttershy.

“Prepare for cheesy jokes, ponies behaving sarcastically and pretty much everything you know about this sort of game turned upside down.”
+++
A few hours later the Spike and the six where somewhat having a good time, though it was by no means easy. The Bard was far from the most heroic pony they have seen in a setting like this, his only motivation for coming to the aid of others was the idea of a reward, either financial or a night with pretty mare. Still he usually was punished for bad decisions more often than he got a break, not that it made Pinkie or Fluttershy feel better. But they did enjoy when either him or the Narrator, who seemed to dislike the Bard as well, pointed out how something they usually took for granted in these games didn’t really make sense.

“My favorite’s still when the Narrator pointed out how absurd it was for a wolf to just drop a bunch of loot he couldn’t have been holding or have eaten and said he was going to skip whenever that would happen next!” said Pinkie.

“I still prefer when the Bard pointed out to those bronze ponies that if they really wanted to keep us from using a lever to open a gate they should have put it behind the gate,” said Fluttershy.

“Girls I’ve been thinking,” said Rarity. “Are we doing the right thing here?”

“What are you talking about?” asked Applejack.

“Well, the way the quest has been given to us is that we need to find instruments the Bard plays to open three towers, climb to the top of each tower and defeat the tower guardians to break the seal on Princess Enchantra.”

“That’s what the narrative book said,” said Spike. “Then you can enter the last tower to free the princess herself.”

“Well we’ve cleared two towers so far but when we broke the first seal animals were rising from the dead and attacking villages, then when we broke the second ponies were rising as zombies and except for that one village that the Vikings took over everypony was forced to take refuge in the city of Whinny.”

“You think they are connected?” asked Rainbow Dash. “I doubt it, probably just those cult ponies stepping up their game after we kicked the guardians’ flanks.”

“Rarity brings up a good point,” said Twilight. “What about all those colts that each claimed that they were ‘the chosen one’ that we only see when they were either about to die or as corpses?”

“Don’t remind me,” said Rainbow. “Every time we see one we’re soon treated to that annoying ‘It’s Bad Luck to be You’ song by those Satyr brothers.”

“Well the Bard is the real chosen one isn’t he?” said Fluttershy.

“But where did they get that idea?” asked Applejack. “You’d think if those monks tried to get others to do this they would be honest and tell us.”

“Yeah that would get the Bard moving,” said Rainbow. “Hey if you do this for us the princess here will make you rich and make you her stud, oh by the way the last three guys we asked all died horribly. With this guy the quest would end right there.”

“Maybe it’s a plot twist,” said Spike. “Still I’m sure if you girls do your best you can save the princess AND restore the land to what it was.”

“Hey ladies!” they heard from the figure of the Bard. “This haggis monster isn’t going to kill itself, as much as I would like it to, maybe you could stop clucking like hens and LEND ME A HOOF?!”

“Oh right the haggis monster,” said Twilight. “Well we just have one tower left so let’s go for it!”
+++
One tower later the seal was broken and the land seemed to be covered in a never ending rainstorm. Brought to the final tower by a flying flaming manta ray and almost sent back to the beginning when the story got caught up with the prologue and a ‘bad luck song’ directed at them directly the band of heroes ascended the tower until they reached the final floor.

“Ahead you see the majestic Alicorn Princess Enchantra held by an energy field above a crystal,” said Spike. “Next to her you see an older stallion with strange tattoos and piercings and carrying an old a gnarled staff.”

They sure enough they saw their characters in front of the alicorn with a mane made of sunlight and a coat in a rainbow of colors.

“My champion,” Enchantra said. “At last I can look upon your face.”

“You’re even more beautiful in person my lady,” said the Bard. “One moment and I shall free you from your prison.”

“You are such a fool Bard!” said the elder druid.

“And may I know the name of the stallion who thinks me a fool?”

“Don’t listen to him,” said Enchantra. “He’s the one who’s been trying to kill you.”

“Yeah,” said Rainbow. “We’ve noticed.”

“My duty is to stop anypony from unleashing evil upon the land,” said the druid. “And you are that pony.”

“We’ve been fighting this evil to set the princess free,” said the Bard. “So she can send you and all your demonic friends back to Tartarus where you came from.”

“A place that she is very familiar with since that is where she’s from. She’s the ruler of these fiends you speak of, she is from the very bowels of Tartarus itself!”

“I know she can be a little bossy but that’s no reason to be rude,” said Fluttershy.

“He lies!” said Enchantra. “Kill the wretch!”

“You’re not helping your case here,” said Twilight then turned to the druid. “Are you insinuating that princess has something to do with everything that’s been going wrong with the world?”

“Your leader’s betrothed there is the direct cause of it all!”

“Now you’ve gone too far,” said the Bard. “She’s not my betrothed!”

“My love do you not see what he is doing?” said Enchantra. “This is his last desperate attempt to stop you from setting me free! The minions he set upon you have failed, so he’s resorting to telling you desperate lies. Please don’t let him confuse you, he’s the one behind all the evil that assails the land.”

“I will fight you if I must,” said the druid. “But she is the enemy not I. She’s been playing you for the fool.”

“I’m not stupid,” said the Bard. “There’s no way this mare is the root of all evil. Look how hot she is, for crying out loud.”

This got a collective groan from the six.

“You have eyes, yet you do not see. You have ears, yet you do not hear, you have a brain but it is located in your…”

“Let’s keep this rated PG.” said Pinkie. “Why don’t you get straight to the point?”

“Enchantra has been held captive here since the last time she attempted to cover the land in darkness, a thousand years ago. It took the power of four mighty unicorn wizards to defeat her and entrap her here ensuring that her reign of terror was ended. All this time she’s been looking for a stallion, a ‘chosen one’ if you will to set her free so she can rule again. I’m afraid you’ve all been only pawns in her game… ones she surely dispose of once set free.”

The Bard snorted. “This is why I hate dating.”

“My darling,” said Enchantra. “He speaks half-truths. I was imprisoned here, not by wizards, but by four demonic warlords. You have seen some of them and vanquished them yourself. It was I who defeated their armies, although I was weakened by doing so. After the battle they trapped me here while they rebuilt their forces. They will rule this land forever unless you kill him and set me free.”

“Listen,” said the Bard. “I think I need to sleep on this.”

“You must choose now my friend,” said the Druid. “Time is running out.”

“Look inside your heart love,” said Enchantra. “Set me free.”

“The time had come,” said the Narrator. “The Bard was forced to choose and he knew he had better choose wisely.”

Spike spoke up. “The Bard turns to each of you for advice. You each must provide your best argument on whether or not to free the princess. Be warned for his choice will determine who your final foe will be and how this adventure will end should you prevail.”

“Woo doggy that’s a pickle,” said Applejack. “Well when I think back on them poor ‘chosen one’ fellers something tells me that we could end up the same way. I think we can trust the Druid.”

“I disagree,” said Fluttershy. “I’m sorry but if she really was as evil as he said wouldn’t the druids have tried to warn us first instead of attacking? She’s only been nice to us and they’ve been the meanies, we have to set her free.”

“I sincerely doubt she’s a real princess,” said Rarity. “I mean a true princess is a lady and the way she offered herself in exchange for her freedom is very unbecoming. Doubly so since it’s to the Bard of all ponies.”

“Oi, I resemble that remark!” said the Bard.

“Sorry, but the fact is that a true princess would ask us to it because it is the right thing, not for some reward. We should trust the Druid.”

“Well a lot of ponies are in trouble,” said Pinkie. “But I haven’t seen the druids do anything to warn the townsfolk or keep them safe from the monsters. If they are really the good guys they would at least TRY to help everypony. We have to free the Princess, it’s the only way to make the land smile again!”

“Well looking at the evidence we’ve come across so far it seems pretty strange to me,” said Twilight. “Usually in these sorts of quests breaking a seal like that should have made the land go from cursed to healed, but we’ve seen the opposite effect. Something isn’t adding up, I think the druid is telling the truth.”

“Come on!” said Rainbow. “This adventure has been all about turning expectations upside down. For all we know that land getting rotten could have just been these guys stepping up their game to stop us, making us think we’re doing harm in order to get us to turn back! This guy is the only one who tried to kill us so I think the choice is obvious, kick his flank and save the princess!”

“Well we better come to some sort of consensus,” said Twilight.

“All right… I made my choice,” said the Bard.

“What?!”

“Well you all presented your arguments,” said Spike. “The rules didn’t say you had to AGREE on a choice.”

“Well it’s about bloody time,” said the Druid.

“Don’t get too excited,” said the Bard. “I didn’t choose you.”

“You choose Enchantra?!”

“I didn’t say that either.”

“Tell us my champion,” said Enchantra. “Whom did you choose?”

“A very logical choice…me.”

“You chose you?” said Twilight.

“Exactly.”

“What does that mean?!” said Rainbow. “What kind of choice is that?!”

“As far as I’m concerned? An excellent one.”

“But what about our future?” said Enchantra.

“Well let’s look into our crystal ball, shall we? If I fight either one of you, I could be dead. If I kill one of you, and it’s the wrong one, I either end up with Tartarus on Equus or in a relationship from Tartarus, literally. So fighting is really a no-win situation.”

“Even if that fighting can save life as we know it?” said the Druid.

“I’ll let you two figure that out. In the meantime these undead aren’t a bad lot really.”

“I should have known he’d do something like this,” said Rarity with a furrowed brow.

“This is unacceptable you miserable little rat!” said Enchantra. “You will free me and you will free me NOW!”

A dark energy washed over the alicorn and in a few moments in her place stood a demonic centaur that could pass as a female version of Tirek.

“I will rule this land and you will be at my side!”

“Ok we have a bad guy!” said Rainbow. “Battle formation!”

“There’s a twist,” said the Bard. “I’m intrigued… and oddly aroused…but uh, I’m afraid I still choose to walk away. Good luck and oh, don’t forget to write.”

The Bard turned back the way he came.

“But the varmit’s right there!” said Applejack. “Come on girls!” But at that moment they felt an irresistible pulling sensation. “Oh right, bound by sorcery and song, forgot about that.”

The six reluctantly turned around with him.

“Come back here you disloyal coward and bow before your queen!” yelled Enchantra.

“Come back here you weak minded fool and kill your queen!” said the Druid.

The Bard turned back for a moment. “You two have serious control issues, you realize that don’t you?”

The voice of the Narrator boomed out once again. “And so the Bard took the short and narrow road, otherwise known as the easy way out, to the nearest bar.”

The six were in a dingy bar with the Bard who was speaking with a serving wench.

“Who says the undead don’t know how to party?” said the Bard as a number zombies break danced nearby.

“He’s right!” said Pinkie who was dancing along. “Maybe afterwards we can make that music video I thought up!”

The Narrator continued. “The plight of the world obviously far from his mind, which by all accounts only has room for money and mares, the Bard enjoyed his drinks with his newfound friends. Until that is…well that is another story.”

“See, he made friends after all!” said Pinkie. “A happy ending!”

The game at an end the six were looking at Spike. “I know it might be a spoiler but what would have happened if we got him to actually pick one?” asked Twilight.

Spike looked over the booklet. “Needless to say you would fight whoever he didn’t choose. If he choose the princess, er demon queen, she would have surprisingly kept up her end of the bargain giving the Bard everything he ever wanted. At the expense of the rest of the world of course.”

“And if we got the ‘good’ ending?” asked Rainbow.

“He would have redeemed himself in the eyes of the druids, but would have gone right back to summoning rats to get free drinks out of pubs.”

“In other words he nearly caused the end of the world and learned nothing,” said Applejack.

“Yup.”

“I take it you aren’t going to have Point Dexter sell this are you?” said Rarity.

“Well, I admit it won’t be for everyone,” said Twilight. “But if you don’t take it too seriously and have a sense of humor about it I could see ponies having fun with this. I mean not everything has to be totally nasty or be serious about teaching a lesson. Sometimes it’s fun to just be able to laugh at something."

“You sure said it!” said Pinkie.

“I don’t think I’ll be playing this game again,” said Fluttershy. “Still I wonder who made this game.”
+++
In another dimension Discord was holding a hand mirror while lounging on top of a pile of 1957 Plymouth convertibles. “That’s right Twilight, sometimes we need to laugh at ourselves.”

“He he he, you said it hansome!” replied his reflection.

Session 5.2 Alex Warlorn

"So.... " Rainbow Dash asked looking over the weird game box. It seemed to have just mountains and mountains of monsters on the cover. "What is this exactly?"

"Well," Spike admitted, "Since nopony claimed copyright on the Bard game that Poindexster found in his basement, it automatically entered the public domains. It doesn't really use the original's game system. In this is more classic style of terms of interactivity but---"

"But what?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"It's a modified versions of the 'Oubliettes, Oubliettes, and more Oubliettes' engine. Basically as long as you can justify it and it doesn't contradict anything already put into play, you can do pretty much anything."

"COOL!" Rainbow and Pinkie Pie said at the same time, the other shuddering to think what overpowered horrors these girls would bring into play.

"I..." Fluttershy sighed. "I really don't want to play that setting again."

"I thought it was fun," Pinkie Pie said.

"I'll admit it was an interesting romp, but not my cup of tea for a second go," Rarity said.

"Meh, Ah might be willing to give it another go," AJ said.

"Well, it might be interesting to see how they interpret it," Twilight thought aloud.

"As long as it isn't another-" Rainbow Dash shuddered. "-political game, I'm all for it."

The girls shuddered and nodded too. After the last time, the girls had solemnly swore to steer clear of any more politically based games, the experiences with THAT game had pretty much forever tainted their ability to enjoy that particular style.

"Alright," Spike said, "Let's see how this goes."

A While Later

"The talking timber wolves arrive in town for somepony, anypony, to cure them of the gold bugs that have been infesting their bellies for ages, causing them endless pain and eating them from the inside."

"OH MY!" Fluttershy says in dismay, "Those poor wolves! I-!" Fluttershy thought for a minute. "I sing the ancient gold bug luring song my great-grandmother taught me as part of my sacred teachings as a druid!"

Fluttershy rolled the 34 sided dice (part of the OO&MO's game engine).

"Hmm, the gold bugs all fly out of the timber wolves mouths, and turn into gold pieces once they leave their host. You're all filthy rich and have the timber wolves of the forest as your eternal allies!"

"But-but-but-" Twilight startled. "You don't have that on your character sheet!"

"Weren't you listening Twilight?" Pinkie Pie smiled. "As long as you can make it sound like it works, it works!"

A bit later, a flight of dragons descended on the town, looting everything and taking the mares as prisoners, and taking every drop of ale.

"You stop this right now Mr. Dragons!" Fluttershy said harshly.

"'Please, slay us and end our torment!' Beg the mighty dragons, pleading you to let death's embrace end their slavery to The Bard's will," Spike said rising his claws to the ceiling.

The ponies gasped and looked at each other.

As it turned out, a stallion completely devoid of scruples, whose only motives were mares, ale, and gold pieces, was not a good combination with irresistible mind control magic, who knew?

The heroes fought through the Bard's armies of brainwashed slaves. Princesses, Minotaurs, Dragons, Hydras, Wizards, none were immune, saves mysterious the six of them. All of them having found some old looking musical instruments and had arrived at the same sage's house hoping to find more about them. The enchantment of the instruments apparently shielding the six from the power of the Bard's music.

Until at last, they stood before the Bard himself... now grossly overweight, little more than a ball of bard with hooves, surrounded by slaves. Rarity cried recognizing the former lords and ladies of the land now licking the hooves clean of the tyrant.

The Bard lazily played his lute, setting them up as a living shield between himself and the heroes.

Rarity declared. "I use the Dance of the Dress! Secret of my family! To encourage their beautiful clothes to take their owners away from the battle field!"

Rarity rolled, Spike looked at the result, and confirmed Rarity's dance has succeeded and the clothes the ponies wore came to life and carried the ponies wearing them away to protect them.

"Alright now pudgy!" AJ snorted. "Ya ain't got nothin' left to fight for ya! Like my brother, sister, cousins, and all of the rest of our families ya rotten no good rat forced us to fight! Yer goin' down! The only question is how painfully!"

"'You're boring, you're stupid, go hump a tree.' the bard replies," Spike said.

"Famous last words!" Rainbow Dash cracked her 'knuckles.'

= Undertale OST - Bergentrückung (Intro) + ASGORE =

"The Bard lifts his lute to the sky, lightning strikes him, and his lute turns to nth metal, and is now covered in jewels. He also now has muscles that would put Bulk Biceps to shape, he grows forty-feet tall, his upper clothes rip away showing his oversized physique and his beard and mane grow and wave wildly in the wind. 'MINE! ALL IS MINE! You're but my slaves! Do as I command!' "

"Famous last words huh?" Rarity looked at Rainbow Dash.

The next few minutes were the ponies barely surviving as The Bard's music called up giant earth, fire, iron, and titanium elementals to destroy the ponies.

"'You must defeat him!' Shouts the mouse that just ran out of his bag, 'You must save the world from him! Please! Undo my mistakes of teaching this monster magic!'"

"'I TOLD YOU NEVER TO SPEAK AGAIN!' And The Bard proceeds to crush the mouse flat-"

""AH USE MY SHIELD OF TRUTH TO PROTECT THE MOUSE!" Applejack shouted.

"It is like THUNDER CRASHES, nearly deafening you all from the Bard's giant hoof nearly crushing the mouse, but AJ's shield saves him!"

"I save Mr. Mousy!" Fluttershy said.

"He informs you he's not a mouse, but a cursed wizard. But before you can get more of him, The Bard calls down lightning bolts upon you."

"I pull out my axe of lightning command I had hidden in the clouds just in case it was needed!" Rainbow Dash declared and rolled. "I direct the lightning back at the Bard!"

"He catches it with his enchanted lute and throws it right back at you!"

"Well I catch it and throw it back at him again!"

"And he reflects it again."

"Well I-"

"I CATCH THE LIGHTNING WITH MY LUTE!" Pinkie Pie declared!

Spike's jaw dropped. Everypony stared at Pinkie Pie smiling.

".... Uh... Pinkie Pie..."

"Remember the rules about being consistent." Pinkie Pie smiled.

"... Pinkie Pie... being a bard herself... grows forty feet tall... her lute turns silver and crackles with rainbow colored lightning. She sprouts a horn and wings and towers above you."

The thunder air shuddered and thunder clashed as the two bards struck their weapons against each other, the earth itself shaking under their might. Their music filling the land itself with their power!

But since this game's engine was limit mostly by only the player's imagination... Spike was imaginative, far more than a magical construct AI would ever be, but this was PINKIE PIE, whose imagination KNEW NO BOUNDS!

"'You can't beat me! I'm the Bard! I'm the main character! I do what I want, when I want, how I want!'"

"I can beat you because this is Equestria! Where friendship is magic! So that makes your magic the weakest of all! I HIT HIM OVER THE HEAD WITH MY OWN LUTE!"

"Your lute shatters, shrinking you down back to normal size and losings the horn and wings. . . The Bard laughs at you... Until glowing white cracks appear all along the Bard's body, then he explodes into a million pieces, the dark storm clouds all part, flowers bloom, and the people Declare Pinkie Pie to be the True Bard, cheering her name and her story is passed through the generation inspiring hope and will across the ages, with you all getting your own little serfdom as a reward from the people for liberating them from The Bard's tyranny. You mouse becomes you royal advisor."

"I use the ancient truth mirror of truth to break the curse on the mouse and reveal his true form!" Twilight said, having gotten into the spirit of the game.

"He is revealed to be Star Swirl the bearded! He thanks you at last for restoring him, and he apologizing for the damage he's caused for his poor choice in heroes, and--- Twilight?"

Twilight fell backwards onto the floor, twitching, a happy smile on her face. "Starswirl... the bearded... thanked me...."

"Well, all's well that ends well." Rainbow Dash said, patting Pinkie Pie on the back. "You saved the world Pinkie Pie!"

Pinkie Pie giggled. "Thanks! Ya know thinking about it, this system is really like a fantasy version of Toon! Reminds me of how ponies wouldn't eat Maud's rock candy until I suggested she give it a little color."

"Who's done this!" Discord teleported right in the middle of the group, snorting fire. "Who has ruined my, I mean THIS masterpiece with this dribble!? They must suffer! I demand to know who they are so they might face my wrath!"

"I use Mega-Cake on Discord!" Pinkie Pie cheered just as Discord used his magic and... Discord looked up confused when a giant cake landed on him.

"Oh my! Are you okay Discord?" Fluttershy asked.

"Just bucking'tastic! Nothing but gumdrops and ice-cream in here!" Discord's voice snorted inside the giant cake.

"There's no need to be sarcastic," Fluttershy said.

"Who's being sarcastic? It's filled with gumdrops and ice-cream in here!"

"OOOH!" Pinkie Pie began to eat her way to the cake's big creamy Discord center.

"...How about a nice game of Bunnies and Burrows?" Discord asked inside the cake.

"Yay!" Fluttershy cheered clapping her hooves. "We can have Angel be Warren Master!"

Session 5.3 Ardashir

"Not another new setting!" Dash ran her hoof over her face. "Yeesh, what this time? Killer space aliens? Eldritch abominations from Horsecraft? What?"

"A-hem!" Twilight set the book down. Her friends and Gilda looked at a title that read 'Ponyfinder'. "It's an alternate Equestria called Everglow..."

"Please tell me it doesn't have a tyrannical or incompetent Celestia." Rarity looked dismayed just to be saying it.

"What? No!" Twilight passed around some basic orientation notes. "There was a Pony Empire created by an alicorn -- one that used to be an Earth pony." She smiled to see both Applejack and Pinkie Pie prick their ears up at that. "But she died and now the ponies are seeing their empire fall apart before invaders. Humans and elves and the like."

"Huh," Gilda rolled her eyes. "Figures you ponies wouldn't be able to handle it if you lost the Princesses -- not that I want it to happen!" She raised her talons as the ponies frowned in unison. "But I bet griffons are doing great here."

"Kind of," Twi said with a sly smile. Her next words stole the smirk from Gilda's face. "Provided you ignore how the elves stole control of the weather from them and the pegasi; and the humans beat them in a war so the Purrsians, they're a race of greedy cats, could take their greatest treasure." She got no further.

"WHAT?" yelled Dash, and "WHAT!" yelled Gilda.

"Peagsi lost the SKY?" Dash shook her head. "No way! How could they even DO that?"

"Those two-legged dweebs helped some bunch of, of alley cats rip off Griffons?" Gilda scratched her claws over the table top, stopping at a glare from Twilight. "I'll pulverize them!"

"So lemme guess," Applejack said. "We're supposed ta help put th' Empire back together? An' help ta find a new alicorn ta be th' Empress?"

"Pretty much," Twilight flared her wings as she spoke. "Oh, and try to teach the newcomer races something about Harmony as well. Want to play it?" When everypony and griffon nodded, she handed out some paper for the characters.

When they gave them back to her for examination everything looked fine until she came to Pinkie Pie's.

"Umm, Pinkie, there's something about this character..."

"What?" Pinkie asked in all innocence. "It all adds up, right?"

"Yes, but..." Twilght shook her head. "Your character is human?"

"Oh, no," Twilight relaxed only to choke at Pinkie's next words. "She's half human, half pony!"

Her friends, and Gilda, recoiled in horror.

Session 5.4 Alex Warlorn

"Oh Queen Rose Dust this is boring," Chrysalis grumbled, watching things through Spike's eyes weren't as entertaining now that Celestia had destroyed the game that had her enemies at each other's throats. When he wasn't Dungeon Mastering or organizing Princess Twilight's things, he was reading comics... Chrysalis had against her will memorized issues 600 through 624 of Power Ponies... and the premiere story-arc of that stupid dragon comic book. It was only popular BECAUSE it was the only dragon centric comic book around!

She'd had more entertainment value when Princess Luna's split personality had taken on a life of its own, gone back in time, and then possessed Rarity claiming it was the real Luna and the Princess Luna they all knew was a fake personality created by the Elements. Chrysalis wish she'd been there personally, their spies made it sound so delicious. Still... If she was going to learn anything useful it seemed... she was going to have to risk going to closer sourcers...

Game Night At the Crystal Empire

"Why aren't we arresting you as a war criminal again?" Cadence asked, like she did every week.

"Diplomatic immunity." Chrysalis said simply. "Oh and by the way, my Succubus Assassin/Aristocrat shape changes into Cadence's Half-Celestial Paladin/Monk, sleep with everyone at the Rising Stallion Inn, and give them her mail address."

"YOU WHAT?!" Cadence shouted red faced.

"Ooookaayyy," said Gaffer feeling out of his element.

"My Fighter/Dwarven Defender... defends Cadence's character's honor," SA said.

"I think, my thief/sorcerer/dragon disciple will stay out of this," Flash Sentry said.

"Captain, why do you keep letting her visit?

"If she's here, then that's one night a week she's not scheming."

"What if she sends a body-double?"

"We leave a stack of Daring Do novels near the door, if she geeks out, then we know it's her body-double."

"What then?"

"Then we break out his Thief/Loremaster/wizard character."

Session 5.5 SomeRandomMinion

Twilight smiled as she watched her young guests huddle together, chatting over the coming game. Ever since Rarity had utterly derailed that first Skies of Equestria session, she'd wanted to give the game another go; see what could be done when you DIDN'T have somepony out to wreck the setting from the beginning. (With a flash of insight, Twilight wondered if that had been how Shiny had felt when his Terrornauts game had been hijacked and turned on its head: had Rarity's stunt been some kind of karma for what they'd put her brother through?)

With that in mind, she'd gone over the game's rules and lore, closing as many loopholes and exploits as she could without being too restrictive. The more convoluted parts were streamlined and revised, lessening any potential rules-lawyering and even making the game more accessible to young players...hence the current players being foals.

"Oooh, Ah'll be...a pilot!" Applebloom announced, scribbling the choice onto her character sheet. "Even the best airship's gotta have SOME back-up from fighters, and there's some things a pegasus or griffon can't quite manage on their own that a plane can. What're the rest of you gonna be?" she asked, looking up.

Button Mash shrugged. "Mechanic. Sompony's gotta keep the airship running smooth while we're out doin' pirate-y stuff. Plus I can tough the work out, since I'm gonna be a minotaur."

"I went with 'Raider'; I thought being the one out swashbuckling on the ground and grabbing the treasure sounded fun." Sweetie Belle answered. "...That, and my character can keep Scootaloo from blowing up our loot," she added, giving her winged friend a deadpan look.

"What? I went with 'Bomb-Lobber'; she's SUPPOSED to use dynamite a lot!" Scootaloo defended. "So what if she's a bit eager to use it? And don't forget, she's a Diamond Dog, that means I can help FIND loot too."

And then, came a voice of authority.
"Oi, don't be so dismissive, Lieutenant! It'd be a right shame if some shiny treasure that could buy us a new zep* got blown to smithereens because you were a bit too giddy with the TNT, right? We're air-pirates, not a wrecking crew."

Scootaloo, suppressing a grin, snapped a salute. "Yessir, Captain Pipsqueak! ...Er, you DID pick 'Ship Captain' as your class, right?"

Pipsqueak nodded, giddy even as he tried to stay in character. "Right you are. Who better to run our little band of ruffians than a dashing rogue like--" he broke off to cross something out on his character sheet, then scribble something new to replace it, "--Captain Blackwing? It'll be a donnybrook, but I promise my crew, we'll all be rich!"

The foals cheered, eagerly chattering about the adventures their plucky band of sky-pirates could get up to.

Behind the DM screen, Twilight was almost giddy. "Well, it looks like we're just about ready to get started. Oh, and Happy Birthday Pipsqueak."

(NOTE:
* "Zep" = Zeppelin.)

Session 5.6 MtangaLion

Twilight settled on the couch and smoothed out her skirt. She glanced over at her glasses-wearing twin, and some evil pun-happy corner of her brain thought, 'I'm literally beside myself!' "This is a pretty nice place, BB- I mean, Shining." Actually, it looked like a gaming store had exploded all over a single-bedroom human apartment, but she wasn't about to say that out loud either.

Shining Armor grinned. "Well, it's no castle, but I like it."

She opened her mouth, then coughed and changed the subject. "So, you said something about games."

Shining nodded. "That's right! Twily told me that you and your friends were getting into roleplaying games, um... Twilight?"

She giggled. "Call me Princess. The others seem pretty comfortable with that."

The other Twilight clasped her hands together. "When I heard that you're a princess of friendship from a real world of magical talking ponies..."

Shining sat in another chair facing them. "Yeah, that's such a weird coincidence! It's just like this new game that just came out, World of Horsecraft."

Princess Twilight's jaw dropped, one eyebrow twitching. "World of... what now?"

"World of Horsecraft!" repeated Shining brightly. He picked up one of those portable human computer-things and passed it over to her.

Her jaw threatened to drop right into her lap and through the floor. The art style... the *ponies* on the computer screen... The bizarre list of starting classes, with things like 'stylist' and 'apple farmer' mixed in with guard and wizard. The cheerful electronic music playing over the character-select screen added the perfect extra touch of insanity... Pinkie Pie's Smile song? How... Just... how?!

Some of Princess Twilight's hair twitched and sprung out of place. The slightly obsessive compulsive part of her brain pounced on the fact that human hair could do that too, and happily began drafting a research paper. "Who did this?" she bellowed.

A lovely woman with black skin and green hair scowled at her lead programmer, a thin white-haired man with a goatee and mismatched tennis-shoes. "Discord! Crystalsoft is a serious business. Stop disrupting my multi-million dollar franchise by spawning bugbears in the middle of Ponyville."

Discord shook a finger in her face. "You're no fun anymore."

Session 5.7 BrutalityInc

Dismay.

Shame.

Embarrassment.

Exasperation.

Those four words that could sum up the feelings of the four mares who were currently having lunch at Sugarcube Corners with Trixie, their expressions mirroring these sentiments.

As for Trixie herself, after hearing from them why they felt that way, one word could describe her response... which was confusion.

"How?" Trixie asked, incredulous. "How exactly did your game last night ended... like THAT?"

The four mares looked at each other, uncertain how to begin.

"Well, as we told you, darling, we found the setting of the game 'Core Ops' to be quite... disdainful, for lack of a better term." Rarity said, taking the initiative, "It wasn't depressing enough to be considered 'grim-dark', but it was not the best of all worlds nevertheless."

This, Trixie thought, she couldn't exactly argue against.

The game they played was an O&O 3.5 modification of a strategy board game. Set in the distant future, Equestrian society had left their homeworld to colonize the stars, but had become dependent upon an exotic energy source, Rubium, for all its advanced magic and technology.

On an alien moon of a gas giant planet in a distant star system, the game's brief introductory text revealed, a group of interstellar explorers discovered exceptional abundance of Rubium that was ripe for the taking.

Being low on funds, the explorers came upon the brilliant idea to sell the mining rights to four megacorporations simultaneously, getting out of dodge long before the ruse was discovered, leaving the expeditionary forces from the four corporations to deal with a savage world of liquidfungus forests, magma pools and monstrous alien lifeforms by themselves.

Now, on the galactic frontier, far away from public scrutiny or government oversight, the players of the game now play as the commanders of the miners, scientists and mercenary armies sent by the four corrupt and competitive corporate conglomerates to explore, mine and seize control of the moon for its Rubium, one sector at a time, even if it means doing bloody battle with their rivals.

This task was made easier by using the resources to raise armies, taming the indigenous rock striders, lava leapers, fungoids, crystallines, and the plasma-breathing rubium dragons to support their troops, as well as recovering mysterious alien artifacts left on the moon in in-game missions that could give each faction an advantage.

Whoever could gain complete control of the alien moon, along with its resources, its lifeforms and its relics, wins the campaign.

Naturally, Fluttershy, Twilight, Rarity and Applejack didn't like the setting very much, and did what came natural to them whenever they encounter a setting they don't like.

"So if Trixie is correct, you all set yourselves to 'correct' the sorry situation by going off the rails of the campaign." Trixie deduced.

"I... I saw how the poor alien animals on that moon was being used by these nasty ponies to fight their wars. I couldn't stand by and do nothing." Fluttershy, to everypony's surprise, came out first with her plan, "I played a commander who was secretly a member of an Animal Rights group for Aliens. I planned to befriend all the creatures on the alien moon and secretly gather them together. Then I would have them chase out all the corporate factions from the moon and declare it an interstellar alien sanctuary."

"I read up upon the background information behind the alien artifacts left on the moon and managed to piece together a cohesive theory behind their origins and their purposes." Twilight spoke next, pulling out a pile of notes which detailed her plan, "I discovered that, using only their functions as detailed by in-game lore, if put these leftover alien technologies together in a correct way, they would be able generate free, unlimited energy. I played a scientist commander whose campaign strategy was to acquire all the necessary pieces of alien relics, put it together, than secretly sending the plans back to the homeworld and release it to the public. That way, it would free interstellar civilization from dependency from Rubium, simultaneously driving all four crooked megacorporations into bankruptcy and saving the alien moon from their deprivation."

"I played a business executive commander for the campaign." Rarity spoke next, "I designed her backstory to justify her set of skills, in which she is part of the family of the megacorporation's CEO, trying to win her daddy's favor from her squabbling, backstabbing siblings by leading a successful operation to acquire the alien moon, promising maximum profit with minimum losses. I plan to use my diplomatic skills to drive my other Corporate rivals into fighting each other and exhausting themselves, while persuading their mercenaries and workers to work for me, than use my business knowledge to set up the best possible mining operation while engaging economic warfare with the other factions, until I am the sole owner of the alien moon. With that much Rubium in my control, I would be able to win the succession as the next head of the megacorporation, buy out the other three by-then exhausted competitors, and using my new status and wealth to reform the economic system that allows that sort of situation to happen to begin with."

"Ah got mahself a simple plan." Applejack explained. "All ah'm gonna do is tah win teh game the old fashion way, except fer teh part where ah go against company rules and secretly film everythin' that happened, and then releasin' it to teh Equestrian public back on homeworld." She smirked bitterly at the thought, "Lyin', cheatin' scumbags, that's what all four of 'em corporate schmucks were. Ah can almost imagine teh look on their faces when evidence of their shady and downright illegal shenanigans on the alien moon got revealed for all known space tah see."

Trixie nodded as she digested the information, "But Trixie can see that everything went wrong, horribly so, when all four of you tried to implement their plan... but forgot to tell the others what you were planning, leading to all of you tripping over one another and throwing the whole game into chaos."

"Girls, I though we got over this behind-each-others'-backs machination horseapples!" Twilight Sparkle exclaimed as the other mares groaned in dismay "This isn't a game of Diplomacy!"

"It wasn't Diplomacy; it was just a light science fiction tabletop strategy game... except for the part that there can only be one winner." Rarity corrected. "Would you want to tell the others your plans to win the game and hope that they would not plan against it?"

"Trixie is still confounded by the eventual outcome of the campaign." Trixie interjected before the girls got into another argument, "Namely, how exactly did all that eventually caused not only the alien moon to EXPLODE, taking with it all four faction's forces, the moon's resources and alien inhabitants, but also start a chain reaction that destroyed all Rubium deposits across the galaxy, dooming all of colonized space to economic collapse?!"

"To be honest, Trixie? We still haven't got a darn clue." Applejack answered, "And ah thought you were teh one who they call teh 'World-Wrecker'!"

Trixie bristled at the mention of her gaming nickname. She earned that in the Equestrian tabletop gaming circle for a most peculiar trait: while she was a decent player much of the time, she has a tendency to mess up in a spectacular fashion whenever she failed (One game out of three), often to the point of completely derailing campaigns and utterly demolishing entire settings.

Being responsible for multiple Old-Mare-Henderson level plot derailments does not make for a good tabletop gaming reputation. It would seem that it was something her friends would never let her live down, these days, her wrecking the Heart of Oblivion campaign so many sessions ago notwithstanding.

"Ironic thing to say for one of four mares who destroyed a world. At least Trixie has not blown up a moon and sent interstellar civilization into a dark age!" Trixie retorted, turning away from Applejack with an indignant humph and leaving the Apple mare to comfort Fluttershy, who has resumed crying at the thought of all the alien animals lost in the explosive catastrophe.

Then again, Trixie mused, for all I know, I might had blown up the whole galaxy instead...

Session 5.8 Grogar-the-oneser

"Trixie has one question though, why wasn't Rainbow Dash or Pinkie playing?" she asked.

"Rainbow said she saw an obvious ending with this game and wanted nothing to do with it, personally I think she was still feeling guilty about the weather factory thing and didn't want to destroy another business like that but-"

"But considering what happen, you can't exactly complain okay what about Pinkie?" Trixie asked,

"She said she couldn't play cause she was planning to defeat her cupcake making record, but wish us luck and hope we don't pull a world-wrecker," Twilight said.

Session 5.9 Mooncalf99

"All right," Twilight announced to the players. "As usual, you've gathered at Definitely Not Sugarcube Corner for breakfast before school."

"I order everything on the menu," Pinkie Pie announced. "Then I eat the menu too."

"As usual, then," Rainbow Dash chuckled. "I want a triple-espresso choco-latte with extra sugar, and a nine-volt battery. Oh, and an alligator sandwich, and make it snappy!"

"Say what? That joke was, like, way grody," Rarity said.

"I gather that Crimson Tape is still, ahah, wrapped up in her namesake?" Discord asked.

"That was last session, and that happened the night before," Twilight said. "She's had--"

"No, ah probably still am," Applejack objected. "Ah've got plus three to 'Stickin' to tha rules', so I figger that'd be a penalty to the roll, right?"

"Okay then," Twilight said, nonplussed. Then she shrugged and went along with it. "In that case, Crimson Tape is trussed up like a cherry-red mummy right next to you all, and nopony really cares. Difficulty ten on a bod roll to break free, by the way."

"They've seen weirder things," Discord said dismissively. He turned to Applejack. "That's really sporting of you."

"You'll get yers when I break free, Random Act," Applejack muttered, rolling her dice and swearing under her breath at the result. "But ah figgered ya stopped doin' that whole 'borin' earth pony' gag, so ah'll cut ya some slack."

Discord shrugged. "It was really only good for one joke before it got predictable, anyway. And I don't do predictable."

Trixie raised a hoof. "Okay! Bright Light starts doing her newest light show, since she's being ignored! Here we go!"

"Not again!" Rainbow Dash groaned. "I dunk my face in whatever food is on the table before I'm blinded."

"Everypony, make a bod roll to cover your eyes," Twilight said. "Hungry, make a smarts roll to avoid eating the Wings-flavored cupcake on the table."

Pinkie leisurely placed her six-sided die on the table... with the 'one' up. "Oops, I fail. Yummy!" She smirked widely.

"...Okay," Twilight said. "Wings vanishes into the dark depths of the Gourmand Stomach-Dimension. Consider yourself bonked until, hmm..."

"Not again!" Rainbow Dash cried.

"Don't worry, Wingie, I swallowed a jetpack last tuesday in case of jetpack emergencies!" Pinkie said. "It should still be in there! Somewhere!"

"I said, stop ignoring Bright Light!" Trixie yelled. "Grand light show! Solar flare!"

"Oh dear, Bright is being sad and lonely again..." Fluttershy said. "I shift into my Haunter form and hug her. That should block out the light, right?"

"Augh! Not again!" Trixie cried. "Cold, so cold, so cold..."

Twilight looked over at the door for a moment and nodded before turning back to the table. "All right, you're all doing... all that stuff, when suddenly..."

The players stopped their antics and focused their attention.

"Space ripples and bends in a spray of psychedelic colors," Twilight said somberly, "while a chorus of a thousand voices sing, 'Awww yeah!' Reality rips asunder, and down from the heavens--"

"Aren't we inside a cafe?" Applejack asked.

"Ssh!" Twilight hushed. "--and down from the ceiling which seems to be high up in the heavens descends... a great reptilian creature, wearing a blindingly white polyester suit and a dozen gold chains, and on his head is the greatest and most imposing afro/pompadour combo you have ever seen. A multitude of disco balls float around him, sending hypnotic light everywhere."

Jaws dropped around the table. Rarity's eyes twitched, while Rainbow Dash made a sound not unlike a motorboat struggling to start, from the barely restrained laughter. Applejack summed it up nicely. "What. The. Hay."

"Spike!" Twilight hissed. "That's your cue to come in!"

"Ooh, is Spike joining us too?" Pinkie asked cheerfully. "Wow, this party is getting pretty big!"

Spike climbed up a tall chair and joined them at table height. "Nah, I'm playing an NPC since Twilight didn't want to act out this part."

"Try to stay in character, Spike," Twilight said.

"Oh, right." The young dragon stood up on the chair, set one foot on the table edge, and pointed at Rarity. "You so fly, honey. Nobody got the sick moves you do. So The Dancing Demon Duke of the Dark Zone Mosh Pit has come to make you his queen."

"Q-queen?" Rarity stammered, taken by surprise. "I, that... I mean, I dig. Fo' sho'. Lead on, Brosef."

"But, but, if you take her away, then she can't go on adventures with us," Fluttershy protested.

"Right on," Spike said, trying to add a little swagger to his act. "I'ma drag her to my demon crib and she'll be mine forever and you'll never see her again! Mwahaha!"

"Bummer!" Rarity protested. "Never seeing Equestria again? Never swinging with my cats? Never get down and boogie for real? That's so bogue!"

"How do you keep speaking that way?" Rainbow Dash whispered.

"Practice," Rarity whispered back. "And a cheat sheet."

Trixie suddenly slammed a hoof on the table. "Hold it! You're not getting away with this!"

"Yeah!" Pinkie Pie cried, slamming her hoof on the table too. "You're not taking our friend from us!"

"I was talking to the Diva," Trixie corrected. "Why does she get to be the center of attention all the time?"

"Pssh," Spike scoffed. "I dazzle them with my disco balls and grab Rar-- uh, the Disco Diva."

"That doesn't work very well on somepony who's technically a small sun," Twilight said. "Try something else."

"Uh, okay..." Spike wracked his brain. "I've got it! A dance-off!"

"You are on," Trixie said confidently. "Nopony dances like the celestial stunner, Bright Light!"

"Sugarcube, ah think he was challengin' Diva," Applejack said.

"Ugh, you're always on her side!" Trixie protested. "Fine! In that case--"

"And about now, Wings Maximus has found the exit to the Stomach-Dimension," Twilight said. "You may leave whenever you choose."

"Finally!" Rainbow Dash said. "I fly out with a cry of 'Geronimo!' and tackle Spike, I mean, the demon guy."

"You don't know where he is, or even that he's there," Twilight said. "So you tackle Mane Agerie instead."

"Oh! Oh my!" Fluttershy said. "I'm taken completely by surprise."

"Of course you are," Discord agreed. "By the way, this is how Equestrian say 'thank you'."

"In that case, Bright Light grabs Random Act's Colt/Filly Gun," Trixie declared.

"My what?" Discord asked.

"His what?" Applejack asked.

"Don't pretend you don't have one," Trixie scoffed. "Oh, Crimson Tape? Since you like Diva so much, why don't you defend her honor like a real stallion? And then Bright Light shoots her."

"You do what?!" Applejack protested.

"This... calls for a break," Twilight said. "A long one."

Session 5.10 BrutalityInc

Applejack and Rarity looked upon the scene of destruction before them, then looked back at the three fillies who caused it.

"Alrigh', what did yah do?" Applejack asked sternly, "What game were you lot playin'?"

"It wasn't anything unusual..." Scootaloo excused.

"We wanted tah try somethin' new. Somethin' that isn't abou' gettin' treasure or slayin' monstahs..." Applebloom elaborated.

"So we choose a game that is about a grown-up's profession." Sweetie Belle finished for the three.

"A tabletop game abou' firefighters?" Applejack asked.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders nodded.

"Fair enough. But how, darlings..." It was Rarity's turn to ask, "Did playing a game about firefighters..." She pointed to the side, "Ended with your club-house being set on fire?!"

As if on cue, what little remained of smoldering tree-house finally gave way with a shudder, collapsing into a pile of charcoal and ash on the ground, leaving only the tree it once rested on standing alone, charred and dead.

All three Cutie Mark Crusaders looked equally embarrassed and clueless.

Applejack sighed and rubbed the side of her head with irritation. "Ah'm gonna ask and see if Discord can restore this 'ere clubhouse back to its old self, though yah might have tah worry about the clubhouse being booby-trapped with pranks for at least a week. Discord can do many things, but the last thing he want is being treated like some genie..."

The three fillies groaned, and decided, collectively, to scratch 'Flash Point: Firefighter Rescue' off their list of tabletop games for the time being.

Maybe they should play 'Pandemic' instead...

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in joke) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Session 5.0 Mooncalf99
Session 5.1 Richforce
Session 5.2 Alex Warlorn
Session 5.3 Ardashir
Session 5.4 Alex Warlorn
Session 5.5 SomeRandomMinion
Session 5.6 MtangaLion
Session 5.7 BrutalityInc [For reference, it's basically Nexus Corps with RP elements and expanded setting lore]
Session 5.8 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 5.9 Mooncalf99
Session 5.10 BrutalityInc

Cover art by Lightningtumble.

Session 6

Session 6.0 Mooncalf99

"Detention?" Rainbow Dash asked in disbelief.

"That's right!" Twilight said with a wide grin. "You are all in detention for your crimes against scholarly conduct. Specifically, you're in the Detention Zone, a non-dimensional spacetime construct that moves between the fundamental branes of conventional reality. A perfect place to secure delinquents like you."

"Big deal!" Pinkie Pie said. "What's stopping us from just sneaking out?"

"That would be Detentor 9000, the twenty hooves tall remodeled warmechbot looming over you, bristling with weapons and painted with a very menacing color scheme," Twilight said.

"Ah," Pinkie said. "Yes, that sounds very stopping."

"Good ol' Detentor," Applejack said proudly. "Mah best work yet. An' you ponies said I wasn't cut out for sciency stuff."

"Figures you'd be behind that," Rainbow Dash muttered. "So why are you in here with us?"

"Ah figure ah'm here to keep an eye on y'all," Applejack said.

"Actually, Crimson Tape have detention too," Twilight corrected. "After all, you've accumulated a lot of demerits lately. Right after you went after these ponies, funny enough…"

"H-hey!" Applejack protested. "Ah don't get demerits, ah'm a model student! Ah'm under duress, or somethin'!"

"Dee-nii-al," Discord said in a sing-song voice. "So how long are we in for, fillybeings and coltbeings? Or should I say, how do we get out?"

"Well, unless you have a note from your mom, you have to stay for a long, long time," Twilight said. "Or you can write 'I will not disrupt class' on the blackboard… five googol times."

"What's a googol?" Fluttershy asked.

"A big number," Twilight said.

Pinkie frowned. "Bigger than twelve? Bigger than twenty, even?"

"I see," Discord muttered. He shuffled around his character sheet and took out a small yellow sticky. "Here you go."

"What?" Twilight asked in surprise. She read the note. "Please excuse Random Act today. He is required for very important family dinner. I, uh, was kind of joking about that."

"I'm sorry, but mumsy is very strict about these things," Discord said. "I have to be home by three or she'll get very cross."

"You seriously prepared a note from your mom in case you ended up in detention," Rarity said. "I mean, like, seriously?"

"But of course!" Discord said. "I'm a good boy, don't you know? I'm on the honor roll, even." He paused. "Wings is on Equestria's Most Wanted. And Bright Light is somewhere on the Herzsprung-Russell diagram."

"A-category," Trixie confirmed proudly. "I'm main sequence and everything!"

"All right, I suppose you can go, since I did say it was okay," Twilight said.

"I need to take Mane Agery with me," Discord added. "She's supposed to tutor me in biology."

"I am?" Fluttershy said in surprise. "Well, if you say so…"

"You're not gonna take the rest of us along, are you?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Figures."

"Okay, both of you are teleported away," Twilight said. "What about the rest of you?"

"Can we try the same trick?" Pinkie Pie asked.

Twilight considered it. "Make a Relationship With Parents roll, everypony. Not you, Disco."

"Uh, why not?" Rarity asked.

"Your RWP stat is effectively set to zero for the time being," Twilight said. "You know, after you started dating your family's eternal nemesis."

Rarity rolled her eyes. "Ugh, those deadbeats need to chill, seriously. I figured it was a much better solution to the problem, and Spikey-Wikey was nice enough to drop the whole 'drag me to hell' thing and play along."

"Of course he was," Trixie said, wondering not for the first time exactly how oblivious Rarity really was. "But it would've been more fun to have him dance-off against a gender-swapped Crimson Tape."

"Definitely, but Applejack makes for a poor stallion," Rarity retorted. "No offense, darling. I mean, funky dude."

"None taken," Applejack said. "Huh, ah figure Crimson won't try ta wheedle outta this, so ah won't roll."

"Feathering stupid dice…" Rainbow Dash swore. "Equestria's Most Wanted, huh? Sounds about right. All the ponies want a piece of Wings."

"Keep driving the way you do, and there will be plenty of pieces to go around," Discord said.

"Twilight?" Trixie said. "Would Bright Light even have parents? I'm pretty sure she formed from cosmic matter billions of years ago. Or Princess Luna created her to illuminate the beautiful night sky. Whichever theory is the most popular right now."

"Weeell…" Twilight looked thoughtful. "The first one would mean the combined universal forces of gravity, magnetism, and strong and weak nuclear power are your parents, and I doubt they'd perceive reality the way we do. And the other… sorry, I'm not giving you an excuse to claim Luna as your mom."

"Worth a try," Trixie said wistfully. "Say, maybe I was led to Equestria by an interstellar electromagical signal broadcasted by a group of unicorn scientists, and they've adopted me as their own?"

"Are you rewriting your backstory in the middle of the game?" Twilight asked dubiously.

"I… don't think I ever specified it?" Trixie said. "What, is that bad?"

"No, of course not!" Twilight reassured hurriedly. "I like it. But since you just came up with it, I can't let you roll this time."

Trixie shrugged. "Fair enough. It's not like Bright Light will be left alone, anyway." She gestured to the others.

"Agh! These dice hate me!" Pinkie screamed. She took her cherry-red six-siders and swallowed them. "This is what I think of you, grr!" She chewed angrily.

"Did… did you just eat your dice?" Applejack asked in stunned surprise.

"Yep!" Pinkie pulled out a small candy bag and procured two more sweet-smelling cubes. "Made these from gumdrops! Don't tell me you've never wanted to wreck your dice completely."

"Only all the time," Rainbow Dash chuckled. "Say… that gives me an idea… Hungry. Hit me up with the sugary-est and calorie-est snack you're packing!"

"Ooh, I've got just the thing!" Pinkie mimed placing something on the table, and made a quick dice roll. "I call it 'The Cataclysm Cupcake', and it's a miracle of precisely baked dough, all-natural fruit filling and sweet icing for that perfect balance between slow and fast calories! Also, I failed the roll to resist, and ate it by instinct. Good thing I brought two!" She mimed placing another cupcake on the table.

"Well, now I regret leaving early," Discord muttered. He munched on a pawful of dice, ignoring the fact that his weren't fake. "This might be good."

"Ooh, I think I see where this is going!" Rarity said. "I hang on to Wings Maximus. Then I grab Bright Light, Hungry and Crimson Tape with my tele-funk-kinetic powers and brace myself for a wild ride."

"Uh, you forget Detentor already?" Applejack asked. "How the hay d'you forget a ginormous robot with enough guns ta fend off a whole changeling swarm?!"

"She's right, everypony," Twilight said. "Detentor 9000 is programmed with heuristic prediction software to catch even the wiliest of delinquents in the act. You're obviously planning some kind of mischief, so it releases the safeties on all its weapons and moves in…"

"Wanna bet Crimmy forgot to install EMP shielding?" Trixie said. "One solar flare straight to the head. If that could fry Diva's eight-track, it should at least buy us a few seconds."

"…Okay, but you have to make them count," Twilight said. "What do you do?"

"One Cataclysm Cupcake chow," Rainbow Dash. "One mother of a sugar rush. Then I aim for the wall or whatever and try to vibrate through as fast as I can. Right?"

"But…" Twilight hesitated. "If you do that, all of you might end up anywhere in time and space! That's crazy!"

"Hey, it beats detention." Rainbow narrowed her eyes and raised a die. "Here we go!"

Session 6.1 zaku786

"....."

"Welp.... This is interesting." Discord said

"How, HOW!" Applejack shouted

"Well you went back to the past, where somepony accidentally crushed something important which cause technological advance to be stalled by ten year which meana detentor 9000 never existed in the new timeline," Twilight said.

"Yes!!!" Rainbow Dash shouted. "OH err... sorry Rarity."

Rarity didn't say anything, the new timeline made it so shoulder-pads were the height of fashion.

Session 6.2 BrutalityInc

"Pardon me if you believe I'm questioning your style, Gilda." Rarity began "But don't you think you might had gone a tad bit excessive?"

"Excessive? What do you mean, excessive?" Gilda asked, raising a feather-brow.

"I think she means the way you planned our last mission." Rainbow Dash clarified to her friend.

"Well, it was a major government meeting, as our little DM told us." Gilda explained, earning a glare from Spike over being called 'little', "I just thought that with so many heavy-weight crooked head honchos in one place, we need to go above and beyond the amount of force we usually do to get through their goons and assassinate them for the good of the revolution."

"I have to agree with Rarity here, I'm afraid. It does seem a bit excessive." Twilight concurred with Rarity, "It is true that the building was naturally heavily defended, filled with the tyrannical government's troops and vehicles, who are armed with advanced weapons and armor, but there are less flashy and... brutal ways, to go about taking them out and throwing the occupational regime into disarray."

"For example, you could snipe them through the window from a long range with the magitech-enhanced sniper rifles we appropriated from our previous raid." Rarity, the rebel marksmare of their band of insurgents, pointed out. "If there's anything the security had consistently overlooked for some reason, it is doing their business in places with poorly bullet-proofed windows."

"We could just... sneak in and kidnap them... after putting everypony to sleep with knock-out gas through the ventilation shafts, that is... no need for any violence at all." Fluttershy, who played the rebel medic, suggested. Through the whole campaign so far, she adamantly refused to believe a peaceful resolution of the conflict isn't possible (Which is hard, having witnessed all the horrors, atrocities and suffering caused by the clearly amoral, ruthless and unreasonable regime over course of the campaign module).

"You could even just sabotage the support beams the day before the meeting and let the crumbling building do the work for us!” Pinkie, who played a rebel saboteur, offered her two-cents, “The look on their faces would have been priceless!”

“Can’t one o’ ‘em good-old fashion surprise assaults do the trick?” Applejack said. Having played a common rebel soldier, she always preferred a simple and straightforward solution.

“Oh come on, you lot! At least it went off without a major hitch!” Gilda complained, throwing up her claws, “If anything went wrong, it was on me who planned it out, but I didn’t think to expect a Canterlot inquisition over a successful mission!”

“This isn’t a Canterlot inquisition.” Twilight, the Rebel tactician, reassured, but still pressed on with one anyway. “But let’s review the plan of your rebel commando: first, we hit a military convoy, all to secure a munitions truck.”

“We needed the extra ammo for the mission, and the bang from whatever we couldn’t carry.” Gilda stated.

“We attached explosives on the munitions truck.” Rarity continued, “You then have Dash, our resident rebel vehicle operator, to drive the munitions truck straight into the building, jumping out before it smash through the barricade, while the garrison fired upon it.”

“Worked pretty well to get rid of the initial defences…” Gilda recalled.

“…And done demolishin’ half the place in the process.” Applejack finished the sentence for her. “Yah then have us six in our lonesome stormin’ the place, kill off the rest of the garrison, and blow up any vehicles they used – which was all of ‘em…”

“Hey, can’t have the dweebs we’re hitting get away using them.” Gilda explained, “Have to be sure. There was this one session I had with other friends where an evil overlord escaped on a tricycle.”

“Speaking of said ‘dweebs’, after making short-work of their elite guards, you assassinated them all by yourself…” Twilight began.

“So? I have them cornered in the conference room.” Gilda asked.

“… With a sledgehammer.” Twilight finished, wincing with the other ponies as she recalled the ensuring massacre.

“I ran out of bullets putting down their goons. And it was just sitting there gathering dust in the storeroom.” Gilda justified. “Those crooked pencil-pushers and armchair general rippers managed to put up quite a fight, I’ll give them that. Didn’t help them much in the end, though…”

“And to top it off, you escaped in an APC you didn’t blow up, riding it into the sunset like in the movies, but not before setting off all your remaining rockets and explosives to blow up the rest of the building, right on top of the government reinforcements coming in, leaving the whole place a smoldering pile of rubble.” Spike summarized, “All the while, you and Pinkie Pie were laughing.”

“What can I say? I loved the smell of high explosives in the evening.” Gilda shrugged indifferently.

“It was super fun!” Pinkie Pie said, giving a grin that unnerved the other ponies slightly, “I bet Trixie would love this sort of explosive mayhem. Maybe we should invite her for our next campaign session!”

“That was pretty cool, overall.” Rainbow Dash admitted, “I really enjoyed the action. Though I could see why Rarity and the others might think it’s… too excessive.”

“In hindsight though, given her character’s backstory, where she joined the rebel faction after the regime’s troops killed her brother before her eyes, her actions isn’t exactly too out of character…” Spike pointed out.

Gilda seemed somewhat apologetic, “Well, I know that you ponies probably don’t like it too flashy or violent. That was actually the tamest idea I came up with, for the benefit of the softies; I got friends back in Griffonstone who would be bored out of their skulls with this plan, and come up with more crazy and gung-ho ones…”

The Mane Six looked at each other, having been reminded, once again, just how different the griffons are from ponies, even when playing a tabletop RPG game.

Session 6.3 Alex Warlorn

Twilight Sparkle said, "Alright girls, you're now trapped on the deserted island."

Rarity spoke up, "Dear, I must point out that our ship is in perfect condition and-"

"You send a signal arrow to your ship... only for it to hit the charcoal storage... making the entire ship explode.. now, then. Alright girls, you're now trapped on the deserted island."

Rainbow Dash asked, "Twilight... did you get much sleep last night?"

"I was busy organizing all my notes till after dawn, why?"

"... No, reason."

A WHILE LATER...

"How is it a 'deserted' island if it's full of pony eating plants, poke happy pygmies, and keeps with angry suits of armor?!" Applejack exclaimed.

"What was this thing even defending? It's just a one room castle with no secret doors or any loot!" Pinkie Pie complained.

"At least we're all in one piece." Fluttershy offered. "Too bad it was whale, sea turtle, dolphin, and seaserpent mating season all at the same time, or my druid could have gotten us off the island by now."

"Yeah... what a random chance." AJ give Twilight the stink eye.

"Just go with it girls, just play according to script, and she'll let us have free will next game when she's rested," Spike whispered.

"At least that nasty . . . what was it called again?" RD said standing on top of the giant suit of armor now defeated.

Pinkie's bardic knowledge offered. "It was called a Wroughtnaught!"

"Yeah we took down this wrote-not!" RD said, "AND! we got some sweet loot of the deal!" RD said, taking both the Wroughtnaught's helmet for herself, and its battle axe.

"Wait, you're wearing both at the same time inside the keep?" Twilight asked.

Rainbow Dash knew something bad was coming and tried to get out an excuse, when she hesitated, Twilight said. "Roll a Fort Save and a Will save."

The will save was a lost cause with Rainbow's barbarian, and the fort save... it seemed her die always failed her when it wasn't in battle...

"The curse on the items activated, and Rainbow's body becomes hollow and her skin thick metal and she turns into a replacement Wroughtnaught, her only desire now to slaughter all intruders, including you guys."

"So Rainbow Dash loses another character," Spike said.

"Do I at least get experience for my next character for fighting my friends?"

"No."

"DANGIT!"

Session 6.4 Alex Warlorn

There was a knock on the door, to the beat of 'a hair-cut and two bits.' With Spike behind the screen, Rarity was the one to open it. It revealed Suri Polomare, grinning a huge grin at her former foalhood friend. She wasn't wearing her scarf, and her mane was done in a pair of braids.

"Hello Rarity," she grinned.

"Hello Suri," Rarity said coldly.

"I am here to apologize. I was wrong to use your generosity against you, I was wrong for having such a selfish and self-centered view of the world. And the way I treated Coco was completely selfish. I've now realized that I should have treated you and Coco as equals."

Rarity startled. "Well... I'm happy to see you've come to your senses Suri... but I hope you understand that trust while hard to build can be... easy to... des-troy? SURI! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR CUTIE MARK!?" Rarity gasped, but already knowing the answer.

Suri grinned at the equal sign on her flanks. "Oh that thing? I was freed of its evil mind control magic. Do you want to be free of your cutie mark's evil mind control magic? Nothing will make you feel more FREEEEEEE!" Suri cheered.

"TWILIGHT! EVERYPONY!" Rarity pulled Suri inside, who didn't resist in the slightest.

Fluttershy whimpered at the sight. Rainbow Dash's jaw dropped. Pinkie Pie grimaced. Applejack felt sick. Twilight shouted. "Suri! When did Starlight Glimmer do this to you!?"

"Oh, she showed her concern for me by tasering me unconscious, tying me to a chair, setting in front of a giant screen with no bathroom breaths or food or water and my eyelids tapped open. With classical music playing, and depicting of selfishness and greed throughout the centuries and their destruction upon civilization, and she was sure to give me an electric shock every time I thought of stealing candy from babies. Now I go into spasms on my own every time I have those thoughts." Twist trotted with a lolipop in her mouth. Suri instantly fell on the floor twitching, but slowly got up. The grin never left her face. "See? I'm all better now. A perfectly role model citizen of an equal Equestria."

"Where's your cutie mark darling?!" Rarity pleaded with the mare.

"I think she said she dumped it in a container somewhere at the bottom of the ocean, she didn't say which one." Suri just kept on grinning.

The mane six looked at each other in dismay.

"So... uh, how did you... meet her?" Fluttershy asked very uncomfortable.

"Oh... we were chatting in a cafe, she offered me a free meal, she said I clearly needed it more than her. We got into a debate about how it was impossible for everypony to have the same opinion. And I said how it was everypony for herself, and me cheating, lying, and stealing from Rarity were all justified, and was my constant put downs of Coco. Of course I was completely and utterly wrong, so Starlight Glimmer saved me! She is ... well, she's not best pony, because we'll all be equal, so we'll all best pony!"

"WHERE IS SHE?!" Rainbow Dash demanded.

"She said if anypony asked that, that she'd hiding out at the old bomb factory at Stalliongrade."

"ON IT!" Rainbow Dash told her friends before she could protest, Sonic Rainbooming towards the distant factory.

"Wait Rainbow!" Twilight shouted futilely. "It's obviously a-" There was an explosion on the horizon. "-trap."

Rainbow Dash zoomed back to her friends, cover in soot. "She wasn't there." RD grumbled.

"Well," Suri kept grinning like a doll. "She did say that if that didn't work out, there was the old ammunition dump, on the other side of the Everfree Forest."

Before anypony could stop her, Rainbow Dash was off like a streak of light again. AJ grabbed RD by the tail, and only managed to get herself dragged along for the rid until her face got planted into a crystal wall around a window, forcing her to let go of RD.

"And you girls told me it would be cruel to put a shock collar on that girl," AJ said, feeling dizzy.

A few moments later, and another explosion, RD came back, even more agitated than before. "Any OTHER places she said she was staying?"

"Well, she said after the first town she'd be in the town of BoyAreYouStupid, but I can't find it on any map."

"That's because it doesn't EXIST on any map, or anywhere for that matter." Twilight said, checking the magic map just to be sure.

"Sorry Dashie," Pinkie Pie said, "I think we're just going to have to wait until the season finale to stop her evil plans."

"Oh they're not evil, they're all very very very good, the best good in all of Equestria, all shall be equal, all shall be friends," Suri said with a straight face and that rigid grin.

"Suri...." Rarity said, "How about you play a game with us, it's all about teamwork, working together, everypony contributing to the whole, and fighting those who are geometrically opposed to your beliefs... sounds like just the kind of game for your new... mentality right? It's a game with no losers and no winner, so everypony wins!"

"Oh yes, I'd love to play a game with you where everypony wins! Those are the only games worth playing!" Suri said without missing a beat.

"And maybe get you to have some individual thoughts again." Applejack said.

"Oh why would I want those?"

"Just... trust us a little."

"You do know Glimmer doesn't really have an equal mark right?" Fluttershy asked.

"Oh I know, she says she can't enjoy the bliss of being Equal until all others are equal, she carries such a terrible burden."

The mane six groaned.

"Friends! The great and powerful Trixie got a new game from the store!" A perfectly normal Trixie with her wand and crescent moon cutie mark intact, held up a box with pictures of different factions of identical ponies. "It's called Equalgeddon! You play as any number of factions to get all to live in your particular Utopia state where everypony thinks alike and feels alike. Friend Applejack can have a utopia where everypoyny speaks farmer. And Pinkie Pie can have a society where everypony parties all day long. Rarity can have one where everypony everywhere dresses in style. And Fluttershy can have one where everypony gets along with animals and has lots of pets."

"That does sound nice." Fluttershy admitted. Her friends all glared at her. "What?"

"Whose the new girl?" Trixie blinked at Suri.

"Got brainwashed by an egomaniac," Spike said.

"Liberated by a visionary," Suri corrected.

Pinkie Pie shrugged and whispered to Twilight. "At least she'll be in jail or reformed by the end of the season. I think the author just wanted this out before that happened."

Twilight didn't try to figure that out. "Trixie... I think that might be... too much like Diplomacy. And might have been made as a propaganda tool by a mad-mare."

"The what now?"

"Oh right, you weren't there for it... it's a game that nearly destroyed our friendship."

"Is that the day the Windigos came to Ponyville?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

Spike meanwhile was explaining the helpful and obedient Suri how to play O&O. Maybe some gaming with nice ponies would make her cutie mark re-manifest on its own?

Session 6.5 Zaku789 and Alex Warlorn

KNOCK KNOCK!

"Now what." Twilight groaned as she opened the door to show a irate pony. "Yes?"

"Pardon your highness are you friends with a rainbow hair pony?" the pony asked.

"Yesss...?"

"Here's the repair bill for the bomb factory destruction." The pony presented the paper to the princess.

"500,000 bits! but wasn't it old and possibly (And hopefully) abandoned," Twilight protested.

"Yes, but it was being reinvented into a museum and cause of your friend we have to make a new museum somewhere else!"

Twilight grumbled abit as she use her magic to grab some money from somewhere in the castle and handed it to her. "Okay lets play this game, and hopefully deprogram somepony at the same time."

Suri grimaced as much as she could without losing her manic grin. "W-what?" Now her grin did falter. "R-Rarity? Don't you like the new me? Don't you WANT to be friends?"

Rarity gently held Suri's cheeks. "I... I want to be friends with YOU darling, how can I be that if everything that makes you, you is gone?"

"Even if everything that made me, me was bad?" Suri asked.

Rarity sighed.

Session 6.6 Richforce

The gang wasn’t quite sure what they were in for when they decided Fluttershy would GM for the night. At first they expected another game of Bunnies and Burrows but when she came in she brought a package that was still covered in brown paper.

“I just got his today from Golden Rice, my pen pal in Neighpon,” said Fluttershy as she tore away the packaging. “This is her favorite tabletop game, Densetsu no Yokai.”

“For those of us don’t speak Neighponese?” asked Spike.

“Legend of the Yokai.”

“Those Neighponese spirits that appear in their folktales?” asked Twilight. “Some of those are supposed to real nasty, others are benevolent so what kind are we dealing with here?”

“The invisible kind that whose mischief causes everyday problems. Your characters are Yokai you are going to make yourselves and you’re going to be helping a child that can see you deal with troublemakers and convince them to help people.”

After checking up on the rules they went about making their characters
“I remember some stories about carp becoming dragons after climbing a waterfall,” said Spike. “Ridiculous of course, but boy do our Shen Long cousins like to tell those stories to impress that you should never give up. Anyway my yokai is a carp that got stuck halfway through the transformation and is now only half a dragon so makes one thing in a set of two go missing. I’ll call him Carpagon, uh we don’t have to use neighponese names right?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Fluttershy said reassuringly. “When I write how this went to Golden Rice I’ll be sure to translate to something appropriate.”

“Well my character is an insect responsible for causing stray lightning bolts to come from thunder clouds,” said Rainbow Dash. “I learned a little Neighponese so I’m calling her Ikamushi.”

“A portmaneu of thunder and bug. Very clever Rainbow.”

“My character is a colt’s toy robot who came to life after he grew up,” said Pinkie Pie. “Now he is searching for his old playmate while fighting for great justice! I give you the one and only Kamen Robo!”

“Clever,” said Rarity. “But that story is nothing compared to my character’s tragic tale.”

Everypony but Fluttershy and Spike gave a small groan while Rarity continued. “She started life as an exquisite dress made by a talented, and extremely beautiful, fashion designer for the occasion of a close friend’s wedding. But alas, the bride and groom had a horrific accident and would never make it to the altar! The dress was stored away for another wedding but it never looked quite the same on any other pony so years and years passed as the dress was slowly being forgotten. Coming to life after having existed for so long the dress now known Love Lace had devoted herself to finding the red stings of true love and weaving destined hearts together in a tapestry of happiness.”

While most of the gang was in silence over the hammy story Spike sniffled and wiped a tear from his eye. “I’m sorry, uh what about your character Twi?”

“Well you know when you’re studying something and you find another topic mentioned and think to yourself ‘I wonder what that is’? So you look it up and find another topic and look that up and before you know it hours have passed and you’ve gone from what you were originally studying to something completely different?”

Twilight was met with silence.

“Anypony? Well, my character is a bird named Lookit that sits on your shoulder and whispers in your ear to send you off on those tangents.”

“What about you Applejack?” Fluttershy asked.

“Well one thing that really annoys me is that after a long day of working the farm you try to reward yourself with a cold soda or fizzy cider only to find that it’s warm and gone completely flat. So I came up with a little goblin named Sodajerk whose idea of a good time is popping all the bubbles in a drink and uses a cider bottle as a little club.”

“Wow that’s really clever Applejack!” said Pinkie.

“Yeah,” said Rainbow Dash. “Who doesn’t hate flat soda?”

“And the idea to use a bottle as a club makes him resemble an oni, a traditional neighponese orge,” said Fluttershy. “Golden Rice is going to love it!”

“What about Lookit?” Twilight asked meekly.

+++

Once the game got started the gang came to appreciate Lookit as her skill usually distracted foes until they could defeat them. As they continued to convince misbehaving Yokai to use their powers to help people. Then party was set to help the child to visit an onsen or neighponese spa in the middle of the night.

“As you step out an unusually thick fog covers the ground,” said
Fluttershy. “Then turning the corner of the street is a giant oni!”

“Ok, I attack the oni with my lightning power,” said Rainbow Dash rolling a die getting a decent roll.

“Your roll fails and the oni blocks Ikamushi’s lightning with his iron club.”

“Fluttershy what level is this monster?” Twilight asked while Rainbow was groaning.

“Sixty, that’s why he can withstand the conducted electricity.”

“But our characters are only around twenty!” said Applejack. “What’s with the grudge monster?”

“He’s not a grudge,” Fluttershy said. “There is a proper way to deal with him at your character’s levels.”

“You mean like a weakspot?” asked Spike.

“Something like that.”

“Ok if the direct approach doesn’t work maybe inspiriting him will,” said Twilight. “Lookit attempts to distract the Oni with a tidbit of information.”

“And just in case Love Lace uses her embedded crystals to create a protective wall around Lookit,” said Rarity.

Fluttershy rolled a die. “The oni resists your inspiriting and begins to charge his finishing blow.”

“Ok, time to get serious,” said Spike. “Applejack, we have Carpagon and Sodajerk combine their water attacks. That should weaken Oni enough for Pinkie’s Kamen Robo to finish him off.”

“I’m with ya partner,” said Applejack.

“Same here,” said Pinkie Pie. “Kamen Robo’s Flaming Kick of Great Justice is ready!”

A few die rolls later.

“You’ve done a moderate amount of damage on the oni,” said Fluttershy. “He finishes charging…” Fluttershy rolled. “And he does eighty points of damage on the whole party with a wide swing of his club. Love Lace’s crystal shield blocks thirty hitting Lookit for Fifty, considering your hit point totals the result is…”

“Total Party Kill,” said Rainbow Dash. “Ok nothing we could do seemed to be able to beat the guy, so were we supposed to talk and make friends with him?”

“No,” said Fluttershy. “He's out to scare children who were out back to bed.”

“But we needed to get to the Onsen to get the old man’s tools back!” said Rarity. “Staying home wasn’t an option.”

“Well he didn’t notice you guys until Ikamushi attacked him, you if you passed a few comparatively easy awareness checks you could have snuck past him.”

“You mean run away?” said Applejack.

“I guess the real lesson here is discretion is the better part of valor,” said Twilight.

“Life lessons in Tabletop games?” said Rainbow. “What’s next, crossover fan fictions?”

“Well it’s getting late,” said Pinkie Pie. “I better head home and see how the Twins first baking lesson with Gummy is going.”

Pinkie didn’t notice that out the window behind her Sugar Cube Corner was on fire.

Session 6.7 Mooncalf99

"Oh, good going, girl," Discord scoffed. "You just had to go and tamper with the time stream some more, didn't you. This is all your fault."

"Hey now, don't y'all go blaming me for this!" Applejack protested. "Ah jest wanted ta put things back ta normal! How was ah supposed ta know usherin' in a steampunk age would result in the rise of clockwork stallions?"

"Speaking of which, they are getting closer," Twilight said. "Make a roll to keep running. And one to see if you get lost in their base or not."

"Ah, don't getcher Alans in a bind, Guvner," Rarity said. "We'll be outta this in two shakes of a lamb's tail, long as you keep your apples open."

Rainbow Dash stared at her. "Uh… yeah." She leaned over to Pinkie Pie and whispered, "Seriously, what's Rarity's deal now? She talked weird enough before…"

"Fork in the corridor," Twilight said. "Left or right?"

"Um… left!" Fluttershy said, scribbling on a rudimentary map of the base.

"I think the time warp retconned her character, seeing as how the Disco era never existed now," Pinkie Pie said. "So she's now something even stranger and weirder, far beyond the comprehension of mortal beings."

"I'm cockney, actually," Rarity said. "A professional street urchin and chimney sweep. As are, apparently, my entire race. Hence the rhyming slang, my good china."

"Good grief," Applejack groaned. "If that's not incentive enough to set things right again…"

"We all know you just want to un-paradox your mecha-coltfriend," Trixie snickered from behind her stack of notes.

"Mah what?" Applejack goggled. "Hey now, ah based 'im on mah brother… an' don't say anythin'!"

"Trixie doesn't need to," Trixie shot back with a smug grin. "You say it all yourself."

"Yer lucky yer not in the party right now…" Applejack mumbled.

"Side passage on the right, or continue straight ahead?" Twilight said. "Also, if you don't take it, the clockwork stallions will fire on… Mane Agery and Hungry. Roll to dodge."

"I… uh… let's go right?" Fluttershy suggested. "I go right."

"Yeah, let's not split the party again," Discord said. "We should probably try to find out where they took Ol' Sunny, too. Things just aren't quite disastrous enough without the full team."

"Aw, you do care after all," Trixie said. "It's okay, though. I'm taking the downtime opportunity to calculate my mass."

"Watching your figure, are you?" Rarity asked. "Trying to fit into your game o' chess?"

"Uh, no?" Trixie said quizzically. "I'm trying to see if Bright Light can become a black hole, actually."

"But those suck!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

"Tell you what, let's work out those details after tonight's game," Twilight said. "Because there's no way I'll give you free reins on a gamebreaker like that."

"Aw," Trixie mumbled. "I mean, that's fair. Yes."

Rainbow Dash suddenly slammed her hooves on the table. "All right, I'm sick of running away! I say we fight these ano… anaklo… stupid metal things! I don't care if headbutting them hurts me, I wanna fight!"

"Personally, I'd argue that Wings has smashed his head against so many things, he should have developed some resistance," Discord said. "Anyway, as long as someone else is on the immediate front line, I'm up for it."

"Good call!" Twilight said. "Since you've all failed your smarts rolls badly, you only realize now that you've been herded into a trap, and find yourselves in a large bay, surrounded by several dozen clockwork stallions."

"Blimey," Rarity breathed. "I ready my chimney brush."

"We're in trouble now, aren't we?" Fluttershy asked.

"Aren't we always?" Pinkie said. She rummaged through her candy bag. "So would they taste like licorice, or peppermint, or something else? 'Cuz I'm not outnumbered, I'm at a buffet!"

"Yeah, 'bout time ta throw down," Applejack said, rubbing her hooves together.

"Not so fast!" Twilight admonished. "The center of the room is dominated by a large, floating construct of gears and light, with none other than your friend Bright Light inside. You don't know if she's trapped inside as a power source, or as a weapon, or something else, but one thing is clear: if you want to get out of this mess, and get your friend back, you have to fight her first."

There was a brief moment of silence around the table.

"I don't see the problem," Rainbow Dash said finally.

"Ah've been waitin' fer somethin' like this forever," Applejack said.

"You don't mind, do you?" Fluttershy said. "It's for your own good, and… things."

"Twilight?" Trixie said with anticipation. "Trixie will help reshelve your library for a whole month if you--"

"--Let you play the part of the Clock Star for this scene? I was going to let you do that anyway, but thanks." Twilight passed over a fresh character sheet to the giddy mare, and grinned. "Now, roll for initiative…"

Session 6.8 Alex Warlorn

"Hey, what do you think would happen if Principal Cinch found out we were playing Dungeons and Dragons?" Indigo Zap asked.

Her teammates 'we aren't really friends' glared at her.

"Oh right right, we'd be in for a world of hurt."

"We're just playing a friendly little game here!" Sour Sweet cheered, then said, "She doesn't care about us as long as keep our grades up! We could be going sky diving or summoning evil spirits in our spare time and she wouldn't know the different!"

Lemon Zest, was, of course, banging on her heart phones... made all the more distracting that she had actually taken them off, and raised the volume, so she could hear the game at the same time. (She insisted it was in game, since her Bard carried a cart of magically animated instruments.... Their dungeon Master Sunny Flare had smacked them with a nasty penalty to any surprise roll for that one.). "Yeah! What does she care if we have fun?"

"You all appear to be underestimating our principal's fixation on reputation for the school which by extension is herself. If she found us playing a game known to attract only social rejects with no personal lives, she would not be pleased."

"She can't order us around when we're not at school!" Indigo Zap said.

"Wanna bet?" Sunny Flare said, "By the way, you're ambushed by trolls."

"Hey!"

"Blame Indigo Zap's bard music... "

"Hey! This way the fights and the loot COME TO US!" Lemon Zest defended.

"My Anti-Paladin commands her undead to 'stall' the trolls instead we're in fighting position." Sugarcoat said. What truly gave Sunny Flare a headache was how Sugarcoat was able to defend ANYTHING she did as 'pragmatic' villainy with frightening super human concisely. No wonder she was head of the debate team. "And so far, we've been relatively protected, since we are among her top students, but if she thinks we've come 'infected' by the students at Canterlot High, I don't think I need to explain what might happen next."

"Well, your super grades are the only reason you're not expelled." Said Indigo Zap, "I mean, the way you tell the teacher as much as the students what you think of them. I run in among the trolls, and my fighter does a whirl wind attack!"

"I'm just being honest. And you'll hit some of my zombies."

"So?"

"We have to wait until we fight another pack of them for me to enslave more. I'm not an evil cleric, I can't just MAKE more."

"I boast their stats with the power of music!" Lemon Zest said.

"This isn't world of horsecraft Lemon Zest, you have to actually tell me what bard song you're using." Sunny Flare sighed.

"Oh right, forgot."

"You heard the rumor Principal Cinch doesn't raise as much fuss over when Cadence 'cuddles' the students who break down, is just so she doesn't have suicides destroy Crystal Prep's reputation?" Sour Sweet asked. Needless to say, with Twilight gone, Cinch had become even more brutal in making sure her students keep up the school's GBA.

"That's just gossip!!!" Sunny Flare insisted.

"Well, my thief/cleric prepare action to heal Indigo Zapp when the trolls clobber her, or loot her corpse if she dies."

"Noted." Sunny Flare said.

Lemon Zest checked the time... she hoped they retrieved the sacred sword from the forbidden cave soon... she'd promised PurplePup, FaithfulStudent, BBBFF, and RisingSun, to go on that raid in HorseCraft later... that new player, REALPrincess, she sure acted freaked out by the game's setting and lore. You think she'd met Nightmare Moon in real life or something.

Session 6.9 MtangaLion

Spike the Dog said, "Twilight, could you type some more macro commands for me? This is taking forever with paws."

Shining Armor froze. Twilight was surprised and a little impressed when her big brother kept his cool. "You didn't mention that your dog talks now."

Twilight smiled, blushing a bit. "We've... had to reassess our relationship."

Spike guided his character to a safe zone by pawing at the trackpad before he turned around. "Yeah, that whole master and pet thing? Not working out for me. Hey, that reminds me! I'd really like to get some different brands of dog food to try out. Derpi, put it on Twilight's checklist!"

Twilight's smartphone chimed. "Get some different brands of dog food," echoed a mechanical voice.

"Great!" The purple pup bounced over to Princess Twilight, standing on the armrest of her couch. "Hey, I don't suppose you can cast a spell to give me opposable thumbs." He got an idea, ears perking up. "If the girls can pony up... maybe I can 'dragon up!' I'd be unstoppable!" The pup grinned, kneading his forepaws together. "Just think, I could even roll my own dice on Saturday nights."

Princess Twilight scratched his ears. "I'll see what I can do."

Session 6.10 Ardashir and Alex Warlorn

"Suri dear, perhaps you would like to play a Rogue?" Rarity glared at her friends. "Instead of ME being the one stuck into the 'thief' slot again?"

"I'll be whatever is for the greater benefit of the group," The Equalized Suri said simply smiling.

Session 6.11 Alex Warlorn

Twilight Sparkle had to admit... while the CMC, Pipsqueak, and Button Mash, had done some unorthodox things to achieve their goals as Sky Pirates, surprisingly nothing they had done was truly setting wrecking. Twilight had actually read a book recently that Oubliette Overseer should take 'setting wreckers' in stride, since 'great calamities' are a part of many grand stories and a good Oubliette Overseer should be able to continue to provide challenges to the players.

'Even if one of your heroes takes a flying island and crashes it into the king's castle while heads of state are all currently visiting, the story itself remains.' Twilight realized this might actually be good advice, and actually might help her better with Trixie . . . though Trixie never truly SET OUT to demolish a setting, it was more Trixie's sense of theater and recklessness backfiring with a healthy dose of bad luck.

Twilight was honestly excited to see how the little pirates would conquer the heavily armored convoy that they'd caught wind of. A daunting challenge, but the bait was too tasty to pass up. She wondered if they were going to go with stealth, manipulation, or trying to lure the convoy's defenders away from their post, or infiltration.

"WE'RE TAKING 'EM WITH OUR NEW STEAM MECHA SUITS!"

"So what now?" Twilight ask confused.

"I worked on them with Apple Bloom since last week," Button Mash said, handing Twilight a sheet of paper with all the stats of their new equipment.

"Don't worry!" Apple Bloom said, "We had Spike present when we did the engineering rolls to see if we got them all assembled right and to work."

Sweetie Belle smiled. "And I checked the rules, there's nothing against it!"

Shocked silent for a while longer, Twilight then smiled. "I must say... this is rather surprising. Let's see where this goes." Twilight already imagined after Pipsqueak's crew showing that the devices were possible, every faction would begin to develop their own designs for them, Twilight could already imagine what design course every faction would take... but no sense in punishing the little foals for this titanic effort on their part and their creativity.

To say the raid was bedlam would be an understatement, the convoy officers had no idea how to handle this new threat, and the CMC took full advantage of the chaos. The suits weren't invincible, and would take some costly custom parts to repair, but the profit margin from the raid was huge for the little pirate crew.

The game ended on a positive note... and Twilight couldn't help telling the big sisters of the CMC about her little friends session.

What she didn't expect was the next day... Button Mash to show at the library ... crying...

"Button Mash, what's wrong?"

"I... I'm... I'm sorry! I didn't meant to wreck your campaign!"

"What?!" Twilight exclaimed.

"I was told how much you hate having your campaigns wrecked! And that's what I did! The mecha suits were my idea! I'm SORRY!" He sniffed, sniffing boogers. "I'll, I'll quit playing the game. I'm sorry!" And... before Twilight's eyes... Button tore up his own carefully and lovingly drawn out and stated drawings and character sheet for the steam armors . . . Before the Princess could say a word... Button Mash ran out of the library with one last, "I'M SORRY!!!"

Twilight stared at the running away foal, and down at the former beautiful drawings now so much scrap paper. Twilight's heart felt heavy.

Session 6.12 Ardashir

Twilight looked down from an upper window to see Maternity Love-Tap and Button Mash coming up to the door. Twilight saw Buttons try turning around and leaving, but his mother herded him on to the door.

Twilight took a deep breath and steeled herself for what she was about to do.

Below, Maternity and her son entered to find the rest of his playing group there: Pip and the CMC. They looked at Button, ears down in unhappiness.

Button just looked down at his hooves, hanging mane hiding his face.

"Button?" The little colt didn't even look up as Apple Bloom spoke. "Ah heard what ya did with all o' yer hard work. Ah'm sorry, we all are." Scootaloo and Sweetie nodded agreement.

"I messed up Miss, I mean, Princess Twilight's game," Buttons mumbled. "My ideas were bad, and I'm glad I got rid of them."

As soon as the words left his mouth, papers floated before his eyes. He blinked to see his old art and writing, all restored and glowing with the light of Twilight's magic.

"I'd prefer that you didn't," Twilight walked over to Button and his mother and bowed low before him in apology. "Button Mash, I'm sorry I even made you think that I didn't enjoy what you and the others did last week. I admit it took me off guard," Pipsqueak and the CMC whinnied laughter, "but it was a very clever and original idea. I was impressed by your thinking outside the box, I still am. You and the others were smarter and more imaginative than I or the game designers," Pip and the CMC held their heads high, "and that kind of intelligence deserves respect."

"You, you were?" Button looked up. "You're not just saying this to be nice?"

"I'm not just saying this," Twilight said, smiling, before her grin turned wicked. Button gulped. "And as to 'nice', how well do you think you and the rest of the crew will hold on to that loot now that your armor's been damaged and reinforcements are coming?"

'Hah!" Buttons jumped up. "That's what they think!"

Twilight smiled and stood aside, revealing the game room behind her. The game was laid out and a small table nearby had some snacks on it. With eager whinnies the little heroes raced in for the weekly game.

Twilight mentally ran through the letter she would write later:

"Dear Princess Celestia -- a certain amount of control and planning is necessary in many things, politics, studies, even friendship and games. But when ponies get the idea that simply being original around you is offensive and stifle their own ideas, you not only hurt them, you hurt yourself by losing that new perspective. Which is why new ideas and original thinkers need to be nurtured, whatever their field is.

Now and forever your student -- and friend -- Princess Twilight Sparkle."

Session 6.13 Mooncalf99

"All right," Twilight said, placing two fun-sized cherry pies on the table. "The Dread Nega-Baker of the Vortex Realm challenges you, 'Where is the liquid rainbow? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both eat, and find out who is right... and who is dead. Or at least suffer an excruciatingly painful spice burn.' What do you do?"

"But it's so simple!" Pinkie announced. "All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: Are you the sort of pony who would put the rainbow into his own pie or his enemy's? Now, a clever pony would put the rainbow into his own pie, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the pie in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the pie in front of me."

Twilight nodded. "You've made your decision, then?"

Pinkie shook her head. "Not remotely. Because liquid rainbow comes from Cloudsdale, as everypony knows, and Cloudsdale is entirely populated with pegasi, and pegasi are considered reckless, as you expect me to consider you reckless, so I can clearly not choose the pie in front of you."

"Truly, you have a dizzying intellect," Twilight said slowly. "Or a dizzying something, at least."

"WAIT TILL I GET GOING!" Pinkie laughed. "Where was I?"

"Beats me," Applejack muttered to the other players. "How the hay did we get inta this mess again?"

Rainbow Dash shrugged. "I dunno, I didn't really listen. I'm just glad that whole time paradox thing is over. Even if that angry Timecharger guy had to chew us out about it."

"Yes, and who made him angry by trying to steal his shades, hmm?" Discord asked.

"You did," Fluttershy said.

Discord nodded. "That's right, I did, didn't I?" He chuckled. "Good times."

"Guys!" Pinkie yelled. "I'm trying to roleplay here! Do you mind?"

"Sorry, Pinkie, our bad," Fluttershy said soothingly. "Something about Cloudsdale, right?"

"Yes, Cloudsdale," Pinkie said, turning her attention back to Twilight. "And you must have suspected I would have known the rainbow's origin, so I can clearly not choose the pie in front of me."

Twilight shook her head ruefully. "You're just stalling now."

"YOU'D LIKE TO THINK THAT, WOULDN'T YOU?" Pinkie cried, slamming her hooves on the table and knocking over Discord's bowl of popcorn. "You've beaten my speedster, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the rainbow in your own food, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the pie in front of you. But, you've also bested my star, which means you must be exceptionally bright--"

"Bright Light was never bested," Trixie protested. "She merely acquiesced to her opponent's graceful offer of a surrender."

"Ya got yer silly head bamboozled with flattery an' let 'im sneak away while you were blushin', ya mean," Applejack said.

"--and in studying you must have learned that a pony is mortal, so you would have put the rainbow as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the pie in front of me," Pinkie continued.

"You're trying to trick me into giving away something," Twilight admonished. "It won't work."

"IT HAS WORKED! YOU'VE GIVEN EVERYTHING AWAY! I KNOW WHERE THE POISON IS!" Pinkie cried.

"Are you sure, darl-- ah, daddy-o?" Rarity cautioned. "You're just going around in circles here."

Twilight waved her hoof dismissively. "Then make your choice."

"I will, and I choose--" Pinkie's eyes shot open wide. "Ah! Behind you! A parasprite!"

"Excuse me?" Twilight asked.

"I'm trying to distract him," Pinkie hissed. "Do I need to roll anything?"

"I could give the Diva a wardrobe malfunction if it'd help," Discord suggested.

"Don't even joke about touching my wardrobe," Rarity growled in a decidedly unladylike manner. "I've just gotten everything set up the way I want it."

"No, it's okay, you succeed automatically and he turns away to look," Twilight said. "Good idea, by the way."

"Well, you know, parasprites," Pinkie said, making a disgusted face. "Okay, while he's looking away, I switch the pies around." She demonstratively switched the actual pies as well.

"Aw yeah," Rainbow Dash said, smirking. "I see what you're doing. Nice."

"The nega-baker looks around for the threat, then turns back just after you've finished tampering," Twilight said. "'What? Where? I don't see anything,' he says. From the look on his frowning face, you realize that he is beginning to suspect something."

"Sorry, I could have sworn I saw something. Parasprites are a menace on my planet, you know," Pinkie said plaintively. "No matter! Let's eat! Me from my pie…" She took the small pie in her hooves. "...and you from yours."

"Indeed," Twilight said. She carefully cut a slice from her pie and took a bite, while Pinkie dug into hers with abandon. "Oh, and you guessed wrong."

"You only think I guessed wrong!" Pinkie laughed, still chewing on her pie. "I switched pies when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never lend your study notes to anyone with a Roche limit above six digits--"

"I returned your stupid math notes ages ago!" Trixie protested. "Let it go already!"

"--but only slightly less well known is this: never go in against a Gourmand when food is on the line!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!" Pinkie laughed at length.

"I put liquid rainbow in both pies," Twilight said.

"Ha ha ha-- oh." Pinkie halted. She promptly keeled over.

"Pinkie!" Fluttershy cried, leaping over to her side. "Are you okay?"

"I mean, the baker put it in the pies in the game," Twilight said hurriedly. "Pinkie's fine. You are fine, right, Pinkie?"

"Just peachy," Pinkie said from somewhere under the table. "I'll just pretend to be unconscious or something, right?"

"I was thinking being violently sick or something, but unconsciousness is more dignified, sure," Twilight said.

"Oh. In that case, I still leap to her side and try to help her," Fluttershy corrected herself. "Hungry! Are you okay?"

"Hang on a moment!" Applejack said. "How come the bad guy wasn't affected if he ate it too?"

"He's the most dreadful baker in the seven dimensions, so obviously he burned out his sense of taste long ago," Discord suggested. "In other words, he's immune to baked bads."

"Whereas Gourmands have an extremely keen sense of taste, so we can better experience the full, uh, experience," Pinkie invented. "Except, ooh, we can voluntarily suppress it when we eat something bad, but I was caught by surprise this time, and--"

"Yeah, yeah, save the inventin' funky new alien powers for later," Applejack interrupted. "Let's focus, everypony. How do we beat this guy? The usual way?"

"Charging at him, zapguns blazing, and screaming incoherently at the top of our voices?" Rarity asked. "That almost never works."

"Nah, but it's cool," Rainbow Dash said. "Okay, what if we go back in time--"

"You're still prohibited from using the timeshed after the incident," Twilight interrupted.

"I was thinking more like me pulling a slingshot maneuver around the sun," Rainbow said.

"All kinds of time travel," Twilight clarified. "It's just too messy. You risk ruining all of history."

"You're just jealous because Bright Light got a date with young Starswirl the Bearded," Trixie said smugly.

"I thought that was very romantic, myself," Fluttershy said. "Although the bit where you tried to date Clover the Clever at the same time seemed a bit, um, needlessly complicated. Not that I'm judging you for your, um, choices or anything."

"I had it all worked out and it would've been glorious," Trixie said. She rolled her eyes. "But noo, our grumpy jealous stick-in-the-mud GM had to nix it."

"I told you, that wasn't the problem, but--" Twilight protested.

"I've got it!" Discord exclaimed, slamming his paw on the table and knocking over his bowl of popcorn. "This is going to be awesome. I call it 'Battle Plan Delta-Butterfly-Peppermint'."

"Oooh!" Pinkie squealed, still under the table. "That's definitely the code name of an awesome plan! Shame I'm still knocked out or I'd be in right away."

Discord steepled his claws and grinned sinisterly. "Au contrare, mon capitan. Your absence of consciousness is, how do you say, instrumental to our success. Okay, everyone follow my lead…"

Session 6.14 Ardashir And Alex Warlorn

Starlight waved her list of controlled Illuminati power groups over her head.

"Hah! I control the Calf-ars, the Priory, the Time Meddlers..."

"You created the Time Meddlers!" Applejack snorted. Starlight ignored her as she gleefully went down her list.

"...And the Network -- in fact I've ended up controlling every major conspiratorial group." She looked at their other final remaining player. "Well, except for the Discordians."

"Please," Discord said. "As though I'd allow anyone else to try snatching my faction away. Isn' that right, Stallions in Black?"

Discord snapped his claws and half a dozen identical stallions in black suits and wearing dark eyeglasses appeared to say, "Yes, Master Discord."

"Okay," Rainbow Dash shuddered. "I don't know what's creepier. Those guys, or just how well the latest reformed villain does at scheming how to take the world over."

Glimmer blushed, "Well, at least it's pretend this time."

Rainbow Dash crossed her forelegs. "Just because Twilight forgives you for almost ending the world... you still owe me some medical bills for those traps you set."

Glimmer cringed, "To be honest, I didn't think those traps would WORK! I doubted anypony would be STUPID enough to-, I mean, that eager to find me."

"Speaking of which darling," Rarity said, "Would you be a dear and fix THAT?" Rarity pointed at Suri Pommelmare who stood happily in the corner on a stole with her equal mark.

"Hello Starlight! I'm a good pony now! And I love everypony! I see now everypony is equal, just like you taught me, it's not everypony for herself, it's everypony for the community! I was a BAD pony, and you made me a good pony, thank you!"

Starlight Glimmer's eye wilted. "Uh... do I have to? Of all the evil things I did, that was the one I LEAST regretted, I think before I equalized her, she tried to pick my pocket twice-" "-trice!-" Suri happily corrected. And Glimmer blushed and wrung over her hooves. "...And I might have left her cutie mark at the bottom of the ocean... "

Session 6.15 Grogar-the-oneser

"WHAT!" almost everyone shouted. Okay, Suri had already told them, but they hoped Glimmer had been lying to her.

"It's not my fault, I didn't mean to lose it, (Uh, maybe? Uh, a little?), like that it just that it 'accidentally' fell out my window while I was traveling on boat."

"Why were you on a boat?" Pinkie asked.

"Well.... I heard you guys were briefly pirates and I was still in 'To know your foe' phase of my plan." Starlight said.

"Oh I remember that one, Dashie went pirate crazy and Fluttershy was holding a fish against its will," Pinkie said, getting annoyed and blushing looks from her two friends respective.

"Sigh... I'm going to call King Leo. Hopefully one of his subjects saw it," Twilight muttered.

Session 6.16 Ardashir and Alex Warlorn

"In fact," Glimmer said, her eyes beginning to show an old unhealthy gleam. "Maybe my equal-magic can STILL be used for good... If it can stop Suri and other BAD ponies from doing evil, then isn't it worth it?"

The Mane Six just looked at her silently. Meanwhile Discord juggled the mindlessly happy Suri.

"I'm glad to amuse my friends!" Suri called out right before she landed with a loud thud. "...Ow."

"Er, okay," Starlight said. "Mister Discord? If you could recall that chest full of liberat -- I mean, stolen cutie marks from the ocean floor?"

"Say 'pretty please with sugar on top'," Discord said, at the same time materializing enough sugar to cover Suri.

"Discord!" Fluttershy flew over to hover before him. She waved her hoof under his nose. "This is very impolite behavior!"

"I'm okay!" Suri called out from underneath the white mound.

Discord just rolled his eyes and snapped his claws. The chest with stolen cutie marks appeared. Moving slowly, Starlight opened it. The collected cutie marks flew out and away through the open castle windows.

All save for one that slapped itself onto Suri's flank.

"NOOO!" Suri shrieked and waved her forehooves as though seeking to drive something off. "I, I won't want to be like that again! I was an awful creature! I hurt ponies and -- HEY!" Suri glared around at everypony. "Normal again, thank the Princesses! And I'm leaving. No way am I staying here in Nerd Central." She sneered at the game-covered tabletop. "I'm outta here, m'kay.." Her eyes lighted on sight. "AS SOON AS I STRANGLE YOU!!"

Suri charged Starlight and started hitting her in the face. Starlight didn't even try to dodge. "YOU WITCH! YOU, YOU CUTIE MARK KIDNAPPER! I'll break your neck for what you did to me! I'll..."

"So," Discord said, snapping his fingers. A wrestling ring appeared around the two mares, and they were dressed in Mexicolt luchador-style outfits. "Shall we help one of them? Or has game night been canceled in favor of an episode of 'Legends of Equestrian Championship Wrestling'?"

Fluttershy asked meekly. "So Suri... you won't be joining Angel and me for another game of Bunnies and Burrows?"

Suri's expression completely changed and stopped attacking Glimmer... along with her cutie mark, and smiled and said. "Of course I will Fluttershy! I love spending time with my friends!" The cutie mark changed again. "NO I DON'T! Yes I do. NO! Yes. No!" The cutie mark kept switch between a pink and purple equal mark to Suri's normal one. "I DON'T WANT TO BE A BAD PONY! YES I DO! NO I DON'T!"

Glimmer stared, "Uh, this has never happened before."

Twilight said, "I think it might have something to do that Suri wasn't living in subpar conditions, wasn't in a totalitarian town, and developed far greater dissonance towards her old identity and-..."

Pinkie Pie smiled, "Hey Fluttershy! We've got a fifth and sixth member for the split personality support group! Or is it seventh and eighth?"

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in joke) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Session 6.0 Mooncalf99 (I'm having far too much fun with this.)
Session 6.1 zaku786
Session 6.2 BrutalityInc
Session 6.3 Alex Warlorn
Session 6.4 Alex Warlorn
Session 6.5 Zaku789 and Alex Warlorn
Session 6.6 Richforce (Note: based on Yo-kai watch and a foxtrot comic strip.)
Session 6.7 Mooncalf99
Session 6.8 Alex Warlorn
Session 6.9 MtangaLion
Session 6.10 Ardashir and Alex Warlorn
Session 6.11 Alex Warlorn
Session 6.12 Ardashir
Session 6.13 Mooncalf99
Session 6.14 Ardashir And Alex Warlorn
Session 6.15 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 6.16 Ardashir and Alex Warlorn

Cover art by Lightningtumble.

Session 7

Session 7.0 Kendell2

"Are you sure you're fine with me joining you?" Starlight asked, looking at the gameboard for the group's 'alien first contact high school' RPG. Twilight had invited her to join, feeling it'd be a good opportunity for her to ease into things. Things were fairly low stakes, while her character's stats needed tweaked a tiny bit, it wasn't really a game where someone could be so underleveled as to be left behind, and it could work as her character being a new exchange student. Given her own need to become accustomed to new things, it felt like a good idea.

"Don't worry, Starlight, let's just give it a trial, if things go poorly, we can set things straight," Twilight explained.

"Plus there's no way you can take over the world in this," Rainbow commented, remembering the other game.

"...Alright..."

"So, what's your character?" Twilight asked.

Starlight levitated her character sheet. "Forgive me if I'm not as creative as I'd like...I'm not used to trying to make UNIQUE things."

"No problem, go right ahead."

"Her name Libra, she's from the planet Deviatia. On her home world, there are many different types of ponies, twenty three to be exact..and none of them get along..."

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Of course..."

"...But once she learned of Equus, Libra realized...maybe that was because they never bothered to get to know each other...they were so different, maybe they were afraid to get along..."

The cyan pegasus blinked in confusion, noticing Starlight seemed to get a little...somber talking about that.

"So she decided to come to Equus to do what her kind never tried before...make friends with somepony different than they are..." Starlight gave a small smile. "Then maybe she can teach her own people to...How's that?"

Twilight looked a little stunned before shaking it off. "That's great, Starlight. Continue."

"She's a very...balanced sort, normally, comes with her species and their powers. You see her people have the power to split into two separate beings at will, representing opposing parts of their personalities, and are normally evenly balanced. However, if one half out balances the other, they'll split in two and can't merge back together until they restore balance to themselves. Libra's halves are Lib and Ra, Lib is calm, friendly, and conversational, but not very action orientated, while Ra is short tempered, action focused, and manipulative. Libra is a mixture of these traits, and the sum of her two parts, but she must maintain balance between them to remain whole. Also, her true state is split perfectly down the middle, black on one side, white on the other, and Lib is pure white and more beautiful and angelic, while Ra is black and more devilish...She also has telekinesis and enhanced strength, due to her planet having half heavy gravity and half lighter gravity, both of which used on that side, Lib gets the former and Ra the later. I tried my best to be creative, how did I do?"

Twilight smiled. "That's very creative, Starlight! Good job. Now we just need to get things set up..."

"Where were we then?" Starlight questioned, wanting caught up to speed.

"Are we still in that altered present?" Rarity questioned.

"Altered present?"

"Oh yeah, long story short the adventure party accidentally caused a time...alteration..." Twilight, the game master, explained...then the group suddenly looked very awkward.

"...It wasn't intentional..."

Rainbow Dash blinked. "Oh...by the way, while we're on the subject of time alterations...were you girls standing on a cloud while I did the Sonic Rainboom in the past?"

Starlight and Twilight blinked, looking to each other. "...Yes..."

"Yeah, I might kinda remember glimpsing you there..." Rainbow said, rubbing her head. "...Is that supposed to happen?"

"...As long as Equestria isn't ruled by Sombra, Changelings, Nightmare Moon, Tirek, Discord, the Flim Flam Brothers, or a barren waste land, I'm fine," Twilight replied.

"Nah, still Celestia," Applejack replied. "...Wait, the Flim Flam Brothers ruled the world?!"

Session 7.1 BrutalityInc

"Yes, they actually did in one timeline. We arrived just as they were tearing up what remained of Sweet Apple Acres with a demolition excavator." Twilight confirmed. "They were probably planning to build one of their many factories that were polluting the air and despoiling the land right on top of it."

"Sounds like one of those nightmare scenarios where ruthless industrialists turn Equestria into a toxic wasteland that some of Tree Hugger's other hippie friends rants about every time business comes up in conversation." Rainbow Dash commented with a tinge of annoyence, "No offense to your friend's friends, Fluttershy."

"None taken. They could be really passionate about the environment at times..."

"They aren't the only one, sugar-cube." Applejack seethed at the very thought of her farm being ruined and turned into a factory complex by those cons, let alone all of Equestria "Ah'm gonna SOCK those two next time we see 'em!"

"Didn't Granny Smith MAKES FRIENDS with them?" Fluttershy asked.

"She did, Ah didn't!"

"Believe me, darlings, no pony likes unscrupulous capitalists, but that doesn't mean business-ponies are inherently evil." Rarity complained defensively. "Speaking of capitalism... How about a nice game of Monopoly for our next session? It's a classic, wholesome fun for friends and family!"

"Oh! I was actually going to propose an alternative that plays just like Monopoly!" Starlight suddenly interjected. "With your permission, Princess?"

"Go ahead, let's have a look." Twilight agreed, encouraging.

Starlight took out a game box from under the table. The rest of the ponies looked at the cover, then looked at Starlight apprehensively.

"Seriously?" Rainbow Dash asked, incredulous, "Seriously?"

"Well, the whole point of the game sounded good from my former philosophy's perspective. I played it all the time back in Our Time with my old followers." Starlight explained, "Each according to their needs and what-not..."

"'Class Struggle'... who came up with the idea to create a Communitist* counterpart to Monopoly?" Twilight wondered.

*(Communitism, first formulated and written in length by philosopher, economist, journalist and revolutionary Red Banner in the "Communitist Manifesto", with his friend Engel the Griffon)

Session 7.2 Grogar-the-oneser

"Actually there are a lot more spin-offs of that game then you think," Starlight said, "You guys ever heard of U-Build Anarchy?"

"H-how would that even work game-wise?" Twilight questioned.

"And how do we make sure Discord never hears about it?" Applejack asked.

"Listen Starlight, while I'm sure it's a fun game, I feel it might be too soon when you stop and consider recent events," Rarity added.

"Hmm.... fair enough." Starlight said.

Discord poofs "You guys would not believe what I found when I was shopping for spinoff of monopoly!"

Session 7.3 Grogar-the-oneser

"What happened?" Nurse Redheart shouted, "How did all of your students and yourself catch a cold at the same time?!"

"Well... would you be surprised if I told you it was because of a board game?"

"... What?" Redheart said flatly.

"Pandemic to be precise," Cheerilee said.

"Pandemic the board game," Redheart said.

"Yes, that's right."

"You expect me to believe a board game was the cause."

"Yes," Cheerilee said.

"Okay... I'm going to ask questions, was Discord playing the game with you or students."

"No," Cheerilee said.

"A young unicorn experiencing a magical surge?"

"No."

"Well, that eliminates two of the most likely scenarios," Redheart muttered. Meanwhile four fillies (Apple Bloom, Diamond Tiara, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle) were lying in bed.

"I knew we should have play police chase today." Apple Bloom muttered.

"Got sick by playing a board game. Gotta admit never saw that coming," Diamond Tiara said.

"That nothing, somehow we set fire to our tree house while playing a firepony board game." Sweetie Belle said.

Session 7.4 MtangaLion (with a little edit by me)

Trixie rolled the dice, her mind only half on the current game. "Trixie is curious as to why you did not witness a world with Trixie in charge." She smirked, giving her cape a toss. "True, Trixie is reformed now, but is Trixie not great and powerful? Did Trixie not have the Alicorn Amulet? Trixie totally could have ruled Equestria."

Twilight hoof-shrugged. "Well... Maybe a world like that does exist somewhere out there, but we just happened not to see it."

Spike lifted a claw. "Although, there was that last world. Everything was all black and smoldering, as if there'd been some HUGE explosion!"

"Trixie... Trixie's rogue uses Distraction!"

Twilight twitched. "You know that doesn't work in real..."

"Hah, Trixie has rolled nineteen!"

Pinkie Pie said, "Well, if Twilight never came to Ponyville, Spike wouldn't, and he'd never put the idea in Spins and Snails heads to put Trixie to the test with her magic, Trixie's life would have never been ruined, and she'd never have gotten the Alicorn Amulet in the first place."

"YOU DID WHAT?" Trixie snapped.

Spike waved his fore-claws frantically, "I was being sarcastic when I told those idiots! Ow! Ow!"

Session 7.5 MtangaLion

Gilda gripped the dice in her talons a little harder than she should have, grinding them against each other. "So, what are you trying to say? Just because I was mean to you dweebs a couple times, I'm some kinda potential world-conquering super-villain?"

Twilight blushed. "What I'm saying is, you shouldn't feel bad, just because Spike and I didn't see an alternate world where you took over."

Gilda clicked her beak and tossed the dice. "Your new pal is right. You do have a swelled head." Then she moved her token nine spaces across the game board, setting it right next to Canterlot.

* Meanwhile, in an alternate world... *

Gilda roared and climbed atop Foal Mountain like it was her own personal roost, enormous griffon paws and claws crushing the mountainside and sinking into solid granite. Then she slowly and majestically spread her wings until all of Canterlot lay in her shadow. Rainbow Dash flew in lazy loops around her head, barely even a gnat to her now.

"I gotta admit," boomed Gilda smugly, "tricking Twilight into casting that growth spell on me..."

Rainbow giggled. "Best prank... ever!"

"You said it, Dash. Attention, pony princesses and other snooty pony dweebs! My first list of demands..." Pegasus and mega-griffon glanced at each other and snickered some more.

Session 7.6 Grogar-the-oneser

"Err this is weird right," Starlight said eyeing the Smooze. "C-can he play checkers..."

"Oh course he can, he might look it but he is a expert player, granted he needs my arms to do so," Discord said, both his arms shot off him and connected to the smooze.

"I-I don't know."

"Oh please do it, see my pal here is feeling abit depressed lately," Discord stated as Starlight saw the slime creature sporting a frown then a smile.

"Well.... if it's to cheer it up."

"GREAT! you won't regret this!" Discord snapped his finger as a huge checkers board appeared "By the way, the smooze is not responsible for any anti magic gunk that get stuck on the pieces."

'Why do I get a feeling I just got conned."

Session 7.7 BrutalityInc

Spike was at Sofa-And-Quills during the regular morning shopping session when he noticed Twilight rushing pass outside the shop in a gallop, her face an expression of panic.

"Twilight, wait!" Spike called out to her, his conversation with shop-owner Davenport forgotten, "Where are you going? What's happening THIS time?"

Princess Twilight almost comically skidded to a halt, complete with dust and noise of screeching tires, before turning around and running to him "Spike, thank goodness!" She began, "Have you seen a board game called Zarathura by any chance?"

"Never even heard of it." Spike replied truthfully.

"Alright, but I need you to drop everything and help me look for it, NOW!" Twilight commanded, before rushing out of the shop. Spike complied and followed, confused and growing worried.

"What is that game? When did you got it?" Spike asked as he barely caught up with the Princess. She was hurriedly looking around and magically scanning every nook and cranny of Ponyville.

"Remember that package you received from Derpy yesterday evening and left it in my studies?" Spike nodded at Twilight's question. "When I opened it last night, it contained a game called 'Zarathura'. It's some kind of retro-space-opera themed board-game driven by clockwork mechanisms. Players have to take their rocket-ship through an interstellar journey to reach a planet or whatever called 'Zarathura' at the center of the board, while braving obstacles like asteroids, aliens and absurd astronomical anomalies through the track."

"Okay... but what's so special about it? I never seen you panic so much over a board game before...(That I could remember)"

"What's so special about it is that it is magical. Erring on the side of caution, I took a magical scan..." Twilight grimaced as she looked down a well, finding nothing, "And I discover that besides the clockwork, it was imbued with some of the most sophisticated arcane enchantments I have ever seen, and what it does is that whenever some-pony starts playing, it generates a local bubble of altered-reality - as in, not an illusion, but an ENTIRE POCKET DIMENSION - that meshes with the real world, allowing the adventure to come alive for the players to participate in!"

"Oh! That sounds just like that magical bookworm which once ate all of Ponyville's books and brought fictional characters into the real world! Or that pocket reality Discord made when he helped the CMC find their talents..." Spike paused when he realized something "And now that I thought about it, that sounds suspiciously like what a certain comic book once did to us..."

"I already checked with the Enchanted Comics store - it wasn't their product. I didn't find any evidence of another magical bookworm infestation. Even Discord, sworn upon his Parents' name," The purple alicorn shuddered momentarily, "Had nothing to do with it. It just came out of nowhere. All I had was a anonymous unsigned note politely asking me to play-test it on the owner's behalf in my own time!"

"And let me guess, you just noticed that it went missing several minutes ago." Spike panted slightly to catch his breath as the two arrived near Sweet Apple Acres, "So where do you think it went? Could somepony had took it?"

"I don't know." Twilight began, "But now I have a hunch. I've already checked with Pinkie and Discord, but besides her and Discord coming by to discuss the finer points of 'Pinkie-Sense' and chaos magic, there was only one other group of ponies who visited the castle that would had been reckless enough to touch a mysterious game ..."

Whatever she was about to say was interrupted by a rumble, followed by a wave of heat and a blast of wind and dust that knocked both Twilight and Spike off balance. When they recovered, they are treated to the bizarre sight of the Cutie Mark Crusaders' newly restored clubhouse, tree and all, lifting into the air like a rocket, complete with a plume of smoke and fire trailing under it.

"Cornsarnit! EVERY TIME!" Twilight could had sworn to hear Apple Bloom shout even through all the noise of a spaceship lift-off, "And we just got our clubhouse fixed by Discord!"

"Well, I guess this answers that question..." Spike remarked as the clubhouse flew skyward into the wild blue yonder.

Session 7.8 Grogar-the-oneser

(Set in the human world)

"Trixie has no words, literally she has no words. Words fail Trixie. Its like Trixie-"

"We get it!" Applejack said, she, Rarity, Sunset Shimmer and Indigo Zap look like they were in a scuffle.

"So tell Trixie.... why did you start fighting?"

"It was cause of The Golden City," Rainbow Dash said annoyed.

"Golden city?"

"Let me explain, the Golden City is a great strategy/adventure game for 3-4 players. You start out as settlers who've come to an island with a golden city at the center. The goal is to establish yourself as a trader and get access to the coveted golden city itself.
During the game, you'll settle on specific areas on the game board which will grant you resources and points. Each round has a sub-goal which – when met – will award the player additional points. To expand, you'll need to use your auctioning skills to grab the best tiles (for yourself) and use them to settle on specific areas," Sunset shimmer explained.

"Eventually you'll have amassed enough resources to get a key to the city at which point you may establish yourself inside. At the end of the game, the player with the most points (the most powerful trader) wins."

"We chose to play it since it's a game where you're pitted against one another, but not directly. I mean you can annoy other players by taking good places but there is no combat and no head-to-head competition which we thought would make it easier to handle those two competition freaks," Applejack said.

"Then what happened?"

"Let's just said someone was annoying enough to rankle someone with a huge ego."

"She kept taking my spots on the board and mocked me about it!" Rainbow Dash said annoyed.

"You know very well I like to brag!" Indigo Zap said equally annoyed.

"Okay.... that explains them, but what about you two?" Trixie said.

"We were trying to break them up." Sunset said.

"I knew we should have went to an arcade." Applejack sighed.

Session 7.9 Ardashir (with slight edit)

"Hah!" Sunny Flare tossed her ale into the face of the guardsponies' captain. As he spluttered and shook his head, she hefted her mug and smashed it over his head. He dropped with a groan. "There's Emperor Sombra's 'taxes'! Sis, you need some help?"

Across the room, greatsword in hooves, Moonbeam swept it against the spear-shafts in the guards' grip. It sliced through the wood, dropping the spearheads to the sawdust-covered tavern floor. She snorted at them, ears pinned back, and laughed as they ran.

"Do I look like I need help, sister? If you cannot handle one miserable guard-captain however -- oh, I think the mage with them is behind thee now..."

Sunny Flare kicked out behind and someone shrieked as her hoof connected. A robed unicorn wearing an amulet with curved red horn insignia appeared behind her and dropped senseless to the floor.

She took one last look around and laughed to see all their enemies either fled or unconscious. The tavern keeper and his other customers slowly rose from where they'd been hiding, eyes rolling in their fear.

"My house!" He wailed as he trotted out into the middle of the room and surveyed the destruction, broken tables and chairs and gouges and chops in the support beams. "My tables! My walls! Young ladies! Did you need ruin my establishment? And I dare not think what the Emperor's troops will do when they hear of rebellion in my own home!... OW!"

He dropped, nursing a black eye. Moonbeam lowered her hoof while Sunny Flare took a heavy pouch from her saddlebag and dropped it before him. It landed with a dull metallic clink.

"The black eye shows that you opposed us and were wounded in Sombra's name," she said with a grin. "The gold should pay for it and the damages to thy tavern alike. Sister,let us be off."

The two mares were out the back door before the tavernkeeper could even begin to gather the coins up.

"Sister," Moonbeam said, "while I gather yon yokel appreciates thy generosity, I must add that now we have not a bit to our names. How, precisely, dost thou suggest we rectify this?"

"Why, sister," Sunny Flare said with a smile, pointing her blade at the tallest and grimmest ebony crystal tower in the city, "'tis easy enough. The stolen wealth of many a pony subject to Sombra is within those walls." She looked at her sister.

"What say you to a tax rebate?"

"Uh, just a moment, here," Twilight hurriedly went through her collection of maps, looking for something that could double as an evil king's castle. Celestia and Luna smiled at her, though the gathered Element Bearers thought there was something roguish about the look.

"Take your time, dear student," Celestia said. "And Twilight, thank you again for thinking to invite Luna and myself to play this game just once." She clapped her hooves. "It reminds me of the days before Luna and I became Princesses! They were so much fun."

"I seem to recall them as being days when we were chased from half the cities and principalities in Equestria, big sister," Luna said dryly as she examined her figure of a barbaric-looking midnight-blue alicorn holding a barbaric greatsword. "Yet there was a bit more freedom in our lives then."

"Wow," Starlight said. "Just... wow. I knew you knew the Princesses, but this is something I never thought I'd see. Luna as a barbarian warrior? Celestia as a laughing rogue?"

"Ah dunno," Applejack scratched her head as she watched the two Princesses start playing their way through infiltrating Wicked Emperor Sombra's castle. "Ah have ta say, I can see 'em doing this. Kinda makes me wonder what Ah'll be doing with ma life if I live as long as they do."

"Only Megan and Wind Whistler knows for sure." Princess Celestia grinned.

Session 7.10 Alex Warlorn

Spike had said disarming. "Okay, I've concluded that I can't really run an adventure with eight ponies... so some of you are going to have to work in rotation between O&O campaigns, it's nothing personal, but I had a nervous break down last time I tried to have a game with all you girls, Trixie, Discord, Maud, and now Starlight... I'm gonna have to put a cap on things, sorry. I gotta know my limits."

And that was the story of how Rainbow Dash had ended up playing Poni-Oh with Starlight Glimmer . . . But that didn't mean Rainbow Dash wasn't going to play to win simply because it wasn't her ideal hobby. Starlight STILL didn't like competitive games, it wasn't like she wasn't going to give up every single belief she'd had in her life simply because she'd given up on revenge and realized she couldn't spent her entire life in that one moment Sunburst left her. But that didn't mean she didn't know how to play to win either (knowing Rainbow Dash would be upset if she let her win).

Rainbow Dash admitted, she shouldn't have been too surprised at Glimmer's deck choice. It was seemingly made up of nearly all low-star normal type monsters.

Rainbow on the other hoof had gone with high level beasties and ways to summon them quickly, and a beat down strategy.

Glimmer had taken a bite out of her LP with her Just Desserts trap card that had taken a pice of RD's LP for every monster with a special effect on RD's side of the field. (RD should have known Glimmer would have that kinda card in her deck).

She should have seen the change of heart card coming too... that also damaged her LP some for the one turn Glimmer had RD's Green Eyes Violet Dragon in control and had it attack RD...

But RD still had the advantage in LP and strength of monsters on the field, if not in quantity. Maybe though this would teach Glimmer not to be so fixated on fairness. Starlight LP was low.

"And now I use Spike Dragon to attack your Basic Insect! And thanks to Spike Dragon's Special ability, the difference between its defense and my attack come out of your life points, game over Glimmer... good game."

"It's not over yet. Trap card. Skill drain."

"Say what?!"

"With this card on the field, all monsters on the field lose their special abilities. Except mine don't have any, but yours do. So my HP are safe."

"Yeah! But that means Spike Dragon doesn't go into defense after the attack, so too bad for you!"

"Don't be so sure about that." Starlight said with a glint in her eyes.

RD didn't like the look of that. She played her trump card. With a clever use of fusion and resurrection and-

"I have Green-Eyes Ultimate Violet Dragon on the field! And Spike Dragon! ... It can't attack this turn, but next time, bye bye Glimmer, cause I have Dragon Stomp in my hand, and you can't stop it, since it's a spell, not a card effect, and you used up your 'negate spell' trap a few turns back. YOUR TURN." RD said... having just blabbed her entire next move to her opponent.

Starlight nodded.

"I summon Aquastrian Pikefilly! I now have five level 2 normal monsters on my side of the field."

"Yawn. That monsters had insanely impressive attack for a level 2 monster, but it's got nothin' on any of my monsters."

"Doesn't matter. Because first I equip United We Stand to her! She gains 800 attack for every monster on my side of the field! That makes her stronger than your dragon."

Rainbow Dash paled. She had no trap cards on her side of the field, her dragon was a sitting duck. And it went bye bye... RD's LP fell... "It's not over yet Starlight."

"I'm afraid it is. It's time to play my trump card. I play Law of the Normal! I only activated this when have five level 2 or lower normal monsters on my side of the field. All cards on the field are destroyed EXCEPT for level 2 or lower normal monsters."

Skill Drain, United We Stand, Green Eyes Ultimate Violet Dragon, and Spike Dragon all went to the grave yard... leaving Rainbow Dash wide open... And she got clobbered by a bunch of low level weakling monsters . . .

"Looks like a bunch of low level monsters beat your Green Eyes Ultimate Violet Dragon Rainbow Dash... sorry I won."

"Say What?"

"I beat you and make all your hard work meaningless, that's cruel."

"Glimmer... it's just a game... Speaking of which... you should really get to know Pinkie Pie's sister Maud Pie ... She told me that she doesn't care if she wins something or not..." 'Which I think is weird and just plain strange.' "And we DON'T mind her... I think you two would have a lot to talk about."

"... Maybe we do..."

Session 7.11 Mooncalf99

"Game night, game night, snacks snacks snacks!" Pinkie Pie sang as she danced around the table, placing down bowls of food for the game.

Starlight Glimmer smiled wanly as she levitated the rest of the bounty in place, while the rest of the group filtered into the room. "Not that I'm questioning you, Pinkie, but do we really need all of this?"

"Oh, it's traditional," Twilight reassured, shuffling through her notes in the eternal manner of the GM getting ready and psyched up. "It's always good to have refreshments, and the sugar helps if the game runs late."

"And Pinkie eats half of it anyway," Discord said, startling Starlight with a sudden appearance. The rest of the group barely batted an eye. "Hi, I'm Discord, Spirit of Chaos and fellow reformee. So nice to meet you! Any pony who can give the princess of books a workout is fine by me!" He held out a claw to shake. She gave him a nervous look.

Fluttershy sighed. "Be nice, Discord."

"Don't let him get to you," Trixie said, sitting down on Starlight's other side. "He just likes to push a pony's buttons for the fun of it. I'm Trixie. So I hear you have a character with some really elaborate traits?"

"I guess?" Starlight said uncertainly.

"Word of advice: make sure you can describe your character in three sentences," Trixie said. "Too much, and the others get bored, and you don't want that. I'm a stage pony, so my job's basically to make sure ponies don't get bored, see?"

"That is a matter of opinion, Trixie," Twilight said. "I really think you should write down your backstory instead of reinventing things all the time."

Trixie waved a hoof dismissively. "That's not as fun. Besides, this setting's flexible enough for me to actually make this work."

"Yes, yes," Twilight sighed, again giving up on the matter. "Speaking of setting, yes, you're back to the normal timeline again, or at least as normal as this game gets. All those changes were properly reset and we don't try to time travel again. Or talk about it."

"What about Gilbert? He was cool," Rainbow Dash said.

Twilight facehoofed. "Fine. Gilbert happened. Now can we get the game started?"

"Gilbert?" Starlight asked.

"The seventh founder of Equestria," Trixie supplied. "Griffon. Fun guy."

A few minutes later, everypony - and Discord - were seated, and had their sheets and dice ready. Pinkie was already halfway through a bowl of pretzels. Twilight cleared her throat. "You all begin the day in class…" Twilight rolled a few dice and looked over a chart. "...discrete n-dimensional quantum statistics 201, with your homeroom teacher, Miss Razzafrazz. And you all have homework due."

"Uh oh," Fluttershy whimpered to Discord. "I don't even know what that means."

"But does Miss Razzafrazz?" Discord whispered back. "Let's try bluffing."

"But first you have a new exchange student!" Twilight continued. She turned to Starlight. "Go on, introduce yourself."

"Didn't I do that earlier?" Starlight said.

"That was you telling us your character concept, out of character," Twilight said. "Now we're playing, and you've only just met these ponies-- I mean, these aliens and ponies. Just pretend."

"Oh, okay," Starlight said. She cleared her throat nervously. "Okay. Um… hi! I'm Libra, from the planet Deviata, and I'm… here to make friends and get along with others." She found herself smiling at her own words. "Yes, that's exactly right."

"Cool cat, soul sistah," Rarity said. "We gonna be swingin' on the down low, dig?"

"Uh, what did you just say?" Starlight asked.

"She says she likes you, but in Disco," Rainbow Dash said. "So, do you like to go fast? Wanna go for a ride later?"

"...Are you asking me out?" Starlight said, feeling more than a bit unsettled.

"Haha, no," Rainbow laughed. "I am playing a guy, though, so I have to act like one, and stuff. Anyway, offer stands."

"Okay, dear, you can take a seat anywhere you like," Twilight said. "Now, who's done their homework?"

"Sorry, teacher, I ate my homework," Pinkie said, sounding as apologetic as she could. "I spilled prench mustard on it while I worked, and it smelled so nice I had to sautée it in oil and serve with a bruschetta salad."

"That's the third time this week, Hungry," Twilight said. "Crimson Tape, did you do yours?"

"Uh, I should've…" Applejack muttered and tossed a die. "Is eleven enough?"

"Yes, you have a five-page report on imaginary numbers as applying to the solution to the Traveling Salespony problem," Twilight said. "Good work. A plus."

"Step one, threaten to kick the traveling salespony if he doesn't get off your land," Rainbow whispered to Rarity. "Step two, kick 'em anyway. Step three, profit."

"I scoot up my desk next to the new student," Discord announced. He grinned at Starlight. "Hi there! New to Equestria, I take it? There's a lot to take in, but don't worry, Random Act is here to help you."

"Ah… yes, please, I… would like that?" Starlight said. "Sorry, I'm still getting used to roleplaying and pretending… even if I did a lot of pretending before… I mean…"

"It's fine, you're doing fine," Twilight quickly assured her. "Besides, the past is the past, so don't worry about that."

"Indeed," Discord said with a nod. "So have you filed your school insurance plan yet?"

"Insurance?" Starlight asked. "I haven't been told anything about that."

"The teachers sometimes forget it," Discord said. "It's just a little security in case of trouble. I have all the paperwork if you want to file it. Right now we have a special on insurance against tides. Ten bits a week premium, with all the perks."

Starlight blinked almost audibly. "Tides?"

"Dangerous things, tides," Discord said ruefully. "You could drown, or worse. You don't want to get caught emptyhoofed in a tidal incident."

"This is some kind of shakedown or scam, isn't it?" Starlight asked carefully.

"Do ah see Random tryin' ta pull a trick on the new gal?" Applejack asked.

"I keep out of Miss Class Prissy-dent's sight as a standard, so probably not," Discord said with a smirk. "Anyway, I am an earth pony who's lived all his life in Equestria, and Equestrians are universally known to be cool, insightful and down with how things are really done, so obviously I must be correct. Right, Twilight?"

"Fake Out again?" Twilight said. She rolled her eyes. "I'm afraid he's right, Starlight. Unless you roll a one or two, he's convinced you."

"Okay…" She rolled a six. "All right, I'm convinced. Tides are dangerous, after all. Ten bits, you say?"

"Indeed. Just sign here on the dotted line. I take out the preprinted documents and have Libra sign them," Discord said. He chuckled to himself. "Believe me, I have plans for this money…"

Twilight tapped her chin thoughtfully and grinned. She scribbled something on several notes and surreptitiously teleported them over to Pinkie, Rainbow and Trixie. The three mares read their notes, shared a quick glance, and nodded. Twilight grinned wider.

"So…" Fluttershy began. "So what happens next? I look out the window and try to spot any interesting pets on the school grounds."

"You don't see any animals, but you see students running for higher ground as a high wall of water rapidly approaches," Twilight said.

"Um… water?" Fluttershy asked in surprise.

"The classroom's windows are suddenly thrown open as a massive tidal wave bursts in and starts flooding the room!" Twilight announced. "Save yourselves!"

Discord's jaw dropped, and he quickly picked it back up. "Oh, well played, Twilight Sparkle!"

"I take a really deep breath and use myself as a flotation device," Pinkie declared.

"I grab Bright Light and climb up on Hungry, then ride the wave out into the hallway," Rainbow Dash declared. "I can still use classmates as vehicles, right?"

"And I put on my shades and look as stylish as possible as we leave," Trixie said. She brushed back her mane dramatically.

"I suppose I can transform into a Deep Horror and swallow the others for safekeeping," Fluttershy said. "I mean, if it's okay with you."

"Go ahead, Big Mama," Rarity said, shuffling through some of her character notes. "Oh, please please please tell me I packed something waterproof to wear…"

Starlight looked thoughtful. "So… sudden tidal incident at school, hmm?"

"Yes," Discord growled, throwing a glare at Twilight.

"I guess you'll have to change those plans of yours, since Random Act will be completely broke until further notice," Twilight said. "Starlight, make a note on your sheet that your allowance is doubled, also until further notice."

"Nice!" She scribbled furiously on her sheet.

"Still, I hope you see now the dangers of uncontrolled tides in everyday situations, and that your trust in me was very well-placed," Discord said. "It's good to have friends to rely on, isn't it?"

"Always find an advantage, huh?" Trixie said.

"What ah wanna know is, why the hay's there a tidal wave anyway?" Applejack asked. "Hmm… tides are made by tha moon… tha moon's a celestial object… hey, Mane! Swim by tha lockers! Ah wanna check on Brighty's stuff!"

"What?" Trixie said. "You do not get to raid the Luminous and Electromagnetic Bright Light's locker!"

"She won't if we get there first!" Rainbow Dash said. "Full speed ahead!"

"Full speed!" Pinkie cheered. "Blub blub blub!"

Session 7.12 Alex Warlorn

"I still can't believe we both attended Celestia's school for gifted unicorns and I never saw you Trixie."

"... You did once actually... but it too Trixie a while to realize it was you, it was hard to recognize you from my position."

"What do you mean?"

"Does Princess Twilight Sparkle recall when she found a blue goldfish in the hallway pathetically banging against its goldfish bowl with its fins desperately and afraid?"

"... Hmmm? Maybe... I think I might remember... a little... I think it was right after I'd gotten my cutie mark and started attending. I do remember a blue fish who clearly wanted to return to the ocean, I teleported it to the river where I thought it could swim to the ocean and be happy... wait... THAT WAS YOU!?"

"... Trixie was a pony with a special talent for stage magic at a school dedicated to teaching future arch-mages... Trixie did not the strength to be a bully, and would be no pony's toady... so many a pony saw Trixie as a good target for hazing."

"I can't believe that went on at Celestia's school... "

"You think ponies can't be bullies?"

"It's not that, but I can't see Celestia EVER tolerating that at HER school."

"Maybe Trixie just wasn't important enough to be worth the effort."

"I don't believe in categorizing ponies that way, and neither does Celestia."

"Says the mare who it turns out no one in Equestria could ever hope to replace and no pony anywhere could step up to save the world in her place if she hadn't met her friends." Twilight didn't miss the bitterness in Trixie's voice. "Tis it not ironic?! I wanted to rise above the average pony! Famous! Powerful! But Trixie just wasn't born with the power! Starlight Glimmer wanted to live among equals, even if she had to strip every pony of what made them unique to do it, but she had power that always set her apart from others! Maybe fate got our character sheets switched."

Twilight looked at Trixie sadly. "Trixie... the same thing would have ultimately happened if Glimmer had broke apart ANY group of friends in Equestria. Magic, friendship, and Equestria itself are so closely tied together that you can't damage one without weakening the other two."

"If the Princess of Friendship herself says so," Trixie said unhappily, but not pressing further.

Twilight sighed. Starlight might have had a temper and abandonment issues, but Twilight could tell that Trixie's own insecurities ran deep. Twilight had asked Maud Pie about Trixie's time at the rock farm.. but Maud had simply said that that time was Trixie's own business and it wasn't Maud's place to share it.

Any further chat was cut as the rest of the, now quite large, party of ponies playing the alien students arrived. A normal game master might have had a nervous break down at a party this size but Twilight could handle it.

And there was an extra.

"Oh! Hello Gilda! Rainbow Dash didn't say you were coming."

"She wanted it to be a surprise!" Rainbow Dash explained.

Gilda gave a wary eye of Discord.

"What?"

"Last time we met, you de-evolved my brain to before griffins could think, and I spent the rest of the day trying to eat ponies!" Gilda growled.

The other gasped.

"I admit! I was a bad boy back then! Very evil! Totally evil! But I've gotten better! Just like all the other former baddies in this room."

"Wait, you met Gilda? When? How?" Twilight asked.

"I got around a lot on that day," Discord said. "I managed to traumatize, I mean have fun with a lot of ponies."

"I'm surprised you didn't already know Starlight then," Twilight said.

"Oh I did TRY to visit her little town... and I fell on my claws and knees and began puking plaid when I got close... seems a town so utterly orderly that it's devoid of even the slightest chaos doesn't agree with my stomach."

Rainbow Dash sighed. "So much for my fun theory that Discord would reign chaotic revenge on Starlight if anything happened to Fluttershy."

Starlight sighed.

"Oh sadly true... the entire place was practically my kryptonite so to speak... you'd have been better off asking those helpful and liberating three fillies for a rescue."

"ANYWAY!!!" Twilight said trying to stop old wounds from being picked opened that had only just finished scabbing over. "So Gilda... are you here to play?"

"Oh yeah, Dash told about this game, buncha alien hatchlings visiting Equestria? Kinda nuts, but then Dash told me the sky's the limit. So it got me curious."

Twilight said nothing to how technically TWILIGHT had been an alien visiting another world's school more than once.

"So you made a character?"

"Oh yeah! She's totally awesome! Ancient ponies worshipped me as a goddess of awesome!"

"Why didn't Trixie think of that?"

"Uh.. so what your's species?" Twilight asked, alarm bells slowly going off.

Gilda shouted, "THE AWSOMOIDS! THE AWSOMOIDS! THE AWESOME THE LIES WITHIN!" Gilda said like she was singing almost. "Inside the depths of Equus, where awesome begins! By our action figures!"

"I think I saw that show," Rainbow Dash said.

"A show that's a thinly veiled toy commercial? How shameful," Rarity said striking a indignant pose.

"SUSH! You want us canceled?!" Pinkie Pie hissed to Rarity's confusion.

Gilda ignored them. "Eventually when we hatch, we eventually reach critical mass, and convert the entire planet into awesome! Then absorb it, and join our fellow Awesomeoids out in interstellar space being awesome, until we mate, and explodes in awesome, spreading our clutch of eggs through out the cosmos. Normally when we burrow into the ground, growing for millions of years, increasing the awesome of the evolving life forms, so we can consume maximum awesome when we hatch!"

"I think I played the video game too," Rainbow Dash said, "Never played past the Underwater Castle though. Couldn't beat the alien and queen at the same time."

"Anyway! Some lame ponies hug me up and hatched me a million or so years early before I was strong enough to covert the planet into awe and absorb it to reach full maturity! So I'm stuck absorbing awesome until I grow powerful enough to change the world into awesome and absorb it all, but don't worry, you should all consider it an honor to become pure awesome!"

"HEY! No one eating this planet except me!" Pinkie Pie/Hungry protested.

"So..." Twilight asked cautiously. "What's her name?"

"Her name?"

"Yes."

"Uh... Gilzillathulu?"

"Right... and what does she look like?"

"She's assimilated the traits of every awesome creature that's been alive on Equus, so she's kinda like a dragon but with feathers, antlers, tiger strips, and she has atomic awesome breath and can fire awesome beams from her eyes."

"... Isn't having both of those kinda redundant?"

"Twice the awesome."

"Rainbow Dash helped you with this character didn't she?"

"Only a little..."

"Yes I can see that..." Twilight had the feeling of a headache coming on. 'Remember, work WITH the players, not against them, work WITH the players, not against them. "Interesting Gilda..."

Session 7.13 MtangaLion

Gilda made a face at Rainbow Dash's character sheet, feathers puffing up. "Well, this isn't right at all. You didn't even mention your bag of shinies."

Dash just stared. "What's a bag of shinies?"

Gilda waved a forelimb, talons spread. "You know... it's a bag. And griffons keep shinies in them. It's a griffon thing."

Discord appeared in a flash of white light, smirking and tapping the mismatched digits of his hands together fiendishly. "Are you two still back here arguing? Wonderful! Twilight and the others got bored and started the game without you, though."

Gilda huffed. "Well, it was Dash's idea for me to critique her new griffon rogue and help her get into character. It ain't my fault if she got it all wrong."

Dash rose half out of her seat. "You just made that up about griffons having bags of shinies! I roomed with you at flight school and I never saw..."

Immediately, Gilda reached under a wing and pulled out an old patched-up leather bag, somehow. It jingled when she shook it.

The pegasus stared, open-mouthed. "Okay... I guess that's cool. What do you have in there?" She reached a hoof towards it.

Gilda yanked the bag out of reach. "Hey, hooves off!" Her feline tail lashed.

Discord yawned. "Twenty-three bits, a couple of wishing coins, four pieces of tinfoil from Pinkie Pie's party cannon..."

"Shut it," growled Gilda. "I'll peck you."

Rainbow tilted her head. "So, griffons are magpies?"

Gilda turned her attention back to Rainbow Dash. "You take that back! Oh, another thing... Your character background says you're a great kisser." She snickered and clacked her beak. "Griffons can't do that, genius."

Rainbow flinched. "Oh. Well, what *do* griffons do when they... you know..."

Gilda leaned across the table and whispered in Dash's ear.

"What!? Eww!"

Discord slapped the table, literally beside himself with laughter. Then he cleared his throat, and his less-evil duplicate murmured an apology and vanished. "Well, if you really want to get into character..." He cracked his knuckles and rolled up imaginary sleeves.

Rainbow Dash blinked. "No, wait!"

Too slow... Discord snapped his fingers, and another flash of light turned Dash into a griffon with white and reddish-brown fur, bright blue feathers, and a rainbow crest.

Gilda snickered. "Looking good, Dash. He disrespected a griffon, though. You should totally peck him."

Discord scoffed. "You wouldn't dare."

Dash grinned and lunged.

"Ow! Bad catbird!" Discord rubbed his sore head. "Just for that, I'm not turning you back."

"So, shinies?" asked Dash.

Gilda tossed a spare bag to her friend. "We can steal some bits out of that fountain by City Hall to get you started."

"I mean it, girls! I'm not turning her back until she apologizes!" Discord watched them open the balcony door and go flying off. "Oy!"

Session 7.14 Ardashir and Alex Warlorn

Twilight whispered concerned to Trixie, "Anything else that happened after I... 'released you' into the river?"

"Well, my eyes weren't meant for seeing out of the water at the time, but a yellow and pink blob did pull me out of the water and try to feet me to a bear cub."

Twilight put on a manic grin. "Well! There's no way to know who that could have been!"

"What?" Starlight blinked at the sight of the griffon-ized Rainbow Dash. "Does that happen a lot around here?"

"Only when Discord thinks it's funny," Applejack said. "An' that's most o' the time -- hey!"

Discord leaned over her shoulder from halfway across the room and looked at Starlight's character sheet. "Well, I can't let you miss out on this little experience! A Diamond Dog fighter, eh?"

"No, wait!" Starlight rose to her hooves, ready to run.

Discord snapped his claws and it was too late. A horrified looking female Diamond Dog stood where Starlight did a moment before.

"Ta-da!" Discord sprayed fireworks from his ears. "I give you Barklight Glimmer!"

"AHHH!" Starlight looked at her reflection in one of the crystal castle walls and howled. "I'm a Diamond Dog! A thieving, slave-taking barbarian! Change me back!"

Discord shook his head no, grinning wickedly. "Sorry, no can do because no want to." Starlight growled at him. Discord rolled his eyes. "It'll wear off in a day or so. And you did want some help getting in character. Honestly, some ponies are so ungrateful."

Session 7.15 Richforce (Based on Betrayal at House on Hill (Not a grammar error, that's what the game is called).

+++
"Fluttershy can’t make it tonight," said Rainbow Dash. "She’s nursing a baby platypus who has a fever."

"And Spike is at Diamond Tiara’s big sleepover along with just about every filly and colt in town," said Twilight. "Plus Applejack is there as a chaperone."

"Well at least Trixie could make it." said Trixie.

"Well in that case I have one of my favorite games right here!" said Discord. "Treachery at Hillhurst, Muhahahahaha!"

"Is the Muhahahahaha, part of the name?" asked Pinkie, now off of probation with the Cakes for the "Great Cupcake Fire" incident. Thankfully the Ponyville fire brigade stopped the blaze before any serious damage happened.

"No, I just like to add it for effect."

"Treachery?" said Rarity. "This isn’t going to be like that Diplomacy game again is it?"

"Oh no, this is much more unpredictable. We each choose different characters at the beginning and to start the game board consists only of the front hallway and a staircase to the second floor. As you explore you draw tiles to add new rooms to the house at an appropriate floor while encountering various events, items and omens the most important of which are the omens. When an omen happens you usually get an item or some other benefit but have to make increasingly difficult rolls until one roll fails, the haunt phase of the game begins and the traitor among the players is revealed."

"So the traitor is like the game master?" asked Twilight.

"Of a sort, the haunt is different depending on who triggered it and in what room. Usually the player who triggers the haunt is the traitor but it may be someone else depending on which characters we’ve chosen. Once the haunt begins the traitor and the heroes read the goals for the haunt from the appropriate game books and follow the haunt’s rules until one side wins. What I love is that between the different ways the house can be arranged and the different haunts no two games are ever quite the same."

"Trixie has played this game," said Trixie. "But has had…bad luck with it."

"You mean world endingly wrong bad?" asked Rainbow.

"No, but some of those haunt scenarios can be unwinnable for one side or another depending on how the house is built out. Trixie has had the misfortune of that happening to her opponents whenever she was the traitor, the others then just give up and leave."

"Well that won’t happen here," said Twilight. "We’ll be in this one until the end whatever happens."

Discord rubbed his claws together. "That’s what I want to hear…"

+++

As the game played out the house got bigger and more complex, creepy things happened until Trixie triggered the haunt. "Ok, here goes nothing," Trixie said as the opened the traitor’s tome to appropriate page. "Oh, the rules for this one are a bit different. The house gets ripped off of its foundation and is carried off by a roc."

"We had a roc on the rock farm once," said Pinkie. "The big old bird was senile and thought Holder’s Boulder was its egg. Limestone yelled at it a lot but it was also half deaf so we had to wait a week until the animal shelter ponies were able to get her to leave."

"In any case," Rarity said reading the Secrets of Survival book. "It looks like a free-for-all where we search the mansion of parachutes and escape before the roc drops the house in ten turns."

"Well we’ll help you guys find your chutes," said Rainbow. "Twilight and my characters are a griffon and a pegasus so we don’t need them to escape."

Pinkie and Trixie were the first two to escape the mansion. Discord grabbed a chute before Pinkie could get it but exploring a new room for a short cut sent him into the basement, so Pinkie got out next with a chute Twilight found.

"You’re the last one and have two turns left," said Trixie.

"I can still make it to a window and jump out from there," said Discord. "You two better get going."

Twilight moved out of the front door and Rainbow leapt out another window.

Discord used his move to jump out his window. "You pull the ripcord only to find that what you have is not a parachute but a camper’s backpack," said Trixie. "You will fall to you death on your next turn."

"Trixie…" Twilight said glaring at her.

"Please, I never got the chance to really play the traitor."

"Oh, I loved that, quite unexpected!" said Discord. "Go easy on her."

"How about Twi and I have a chance to save him, fair enough?" said Rainbow.

Trixie had gleam in her eye. "Alright, but you have to succeed in a speed based trait roll with a result of six or higher."

"Deal," said Twilight.

Discord started to sweat, the game used six sided die that had only ones, twos, or blank sides. Since the various stats also tracked health in the game and Twilight and Rainbow had both taken speed damage while in the exploration phase.

Twilight went first rolling three die for her current speed, As expected she didn’t get the three twos she would have needed. Rainbow’s character was naturally speedy however and at her current state could roll four die, plus she held on to a "Moment of Hope" event card that could let her change the result of the roll of any one of her trait die to one she’d want. Still if she very low roll it was over.

"annnnnnndddd…dice!" Rainbow rolled the die.

One…two…zero…Discord was sweating bullets as last die was starting to come to a rest.

One. "I use my Moment of Hope card to change this zero die into a two, giving me a total of six!"

Discord breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

"You managed snag your friend just in time," said Trixie. "Who beforehand had temporarily lost control of his bodily functions."

This elicited snickers from Rarity, Rainbow and Pinkie.

"Hey, taking that chute from Pinkie he kind of deserves it." said Rarity.

"Strangely the game got less creepy with this haunt," said Trixie. "Usually it gets scarier."

"Probably a good thing Fluttershy wasn’t here tonight." Twilight. "Still it can be fun to get scared or to play the bad guy once in a while."

"In that case," said Discord. "Next Nightmare Night how about we play my own special "real life" edition of the game? It turns your house into the mansion, the player who ends up as the traitor gets possessed…"

Discord heard a stampede and a swinging door then looked up to that he was alone in the room.
"Girls come back! That was a joke!"

Session 7.16 Mooncalf99 (For this particular game, imagine all the players are Baron Munchhausen.)

It was a bright and sunny and in particular a late morning when the First Dragon of the Castle of Friendship found his lifelong companion and guardian still in bed, bundled up in her bed sheets like month-old leftovers in the back of the freezer.

"Twilight?" Spike asked. "Why are you still in bed? Don't you have stuff to do? Book stuff, or friendship stuff? C'mon, you tell me I can't sleep all day and then you go and do it?" He chuckled. "Maybe you've been hanging out with Rainbow Dash too much."

Twilight let out a sickly cough, still not coming out. "Ugh. Later. Go away, Spike."

"Are you sick?" He said with sudden concern. "Oh my gosh! Should I get a doctor? A nurse? A princess? A Fluttershy?"

"Stop shouting." The sheets moved and Twilight poked a tired and bleary head out from the folds. "I'm not sick, I'm just… feeling a little ill. Under the weather." She rubbed her forehead gingerly and winced visibly.

"But you look…" He leaned in and looked closer. "Wait a second. Are you… hungover? Since when do you drink?"

"Yeah, well, not usually, but…" Twilight groaned again. "There was this game Gilda wanted to try last night."

"I don't remember that," Spike said. "Wait, was this after I went to bed?"

"Yeah… hang on, I need to fix this." Her horn sputtered to life unsteadily before the magic stabilized. Then her eyes widened and she let out a sharp gasp before slumping back on the bed. "Oh, Celestia, that was horrible!"

"W-what did you just do?" Spike asked nervously.

"Anti-hangover spell," Twilight said, sounding a lot more chipper suddenly, and looking much better. She climbed off the bed. "I didn't want to use it because it's difficult to cast when you're hungover… and because you get a whole morning of headache piled up in one single moment."

Spike winced in sympathy pain. "Ouch! Hey, why do you know a spell for that, anyway?"

"I learned it some time ago… I think it was either Trixie or Rainbow Dash who needed it," Twilight said. "Funny, I can't remember." Her stomach growled. "Do you think you can make me a late breakfast, Spike? I didn't have much of an appetite before."

"Sure thing." They set off for the castle's kitchen. "So what kind of game made you take up the bottle? Must've been a real stinker if it drove you that far…"

"No, it was a pretty fun game, actually," Twilight said. "It's just that… it was a kind of traditional griffon drinking game."

"'Kind of traditional'?" Spike asked.

"That's how Gilda described it," Twilight confirmed. "See, you pretend that you're all proud warriors and heroes of old times, who have gathered to boast about their accomplishments."

"Shouldn't be too hard for you," Spike said. "You've saved Ponyville and Equestria a dozen times over already."

"Spike, please," Twilight said, blushing at his praise. "Anyway, that's not the point. You're supposed to tell elaborate and grand tales, and they don't actually have to be true. Making things up was actually the point of the game."

"Trixie must've been in her element, then." They entered the kitchen, and he began the elaborate and mystical rituals of breakfast-making. At least they seemed mystical to Twilight, who had never found reason to learn how to cook.

She took seat at the table. "Yes, she was. She, Rainbow Dash and Gilda practically dominated the table. See, the only real rules the game had was that you weren't allowed to insult anypony - or anygriffon, that is - on the subject of their valor, their lineage, or their chieftain."

"Sounds griffon-y," Spike said over his labors. "So what happens if you break the rules?"

"You get beaten up," Twilight said. "It's a griffon game. We ignored that bit, though. Oh, most importantly, you're not allowed to accuse anypony of lying."

"Ahah," Spike said knowingly. "Yeah, Trixie must have absolutely loved that rule. Funny, I can't see a bunch of griffons sticking to these rules. If anything, I can see them using it as an excuse to fight."

"Well, griffon culture is nuanced and many-faceted, and Gilda's not exactly the most standard griffon to use as example anyway," Twilight said.

"Fair enough," Spike said. He placed a fresh daffodil sandwich and a cup of tea before her, before joining her at the table with a bowl of gems. "So how's the drinking entering into it?"

"Well…" Twilight took a few bites of the sandwich before continuing. "You can't say they're lying, but you can suggest changes. Alterations. Suggest that they misremembered things or left things out by mistake. 'I've heard that the dread dark beast was a hundred feet tall, not twenty!' Or 'But wait! Wouldn't this have taken place during the winter?' Or 'Wasn't Chieftess Morning Rose betrothed to the master duelist Steel Pinion? Why would she have chosen you as her champion instead of him?' Things like that. Changes that make the story more complicated."

Spike nodded. "That's pretty cool. So what happened?"

"See, that's where the 'drinking game' part comes in," Twilight explained. "When you make a suggestion, you pour a shot. And if they don't want to make the change, they have to drink the shot. But if they accept it and work it into the story, you have to drink instead. Of course, if they get stumped and stop talking, they have to take two shots and you get to tell a story instead."

"Okay, that I can totally see a bunch of griffons do," Spike said with a laugh. "So that's how they got you drunk? You couldn't tell a proper story?"

"No…" Twilight sighed. "Trixie was spinning a real yarn, and I tried to trip her up. But every time I suggested a change, she just took it and continued the story, while I had to drink over and over again. I even tried contradicting facts, and… somehow she made that work anyway! And… after that, I don't really remember much."

"So… you seriously tried to upstage a showpony with a talent for telling tall tales, in a game of telling tall tales," Spike summarized.

"It made sense at the time," Twilight said.

"Yeah, well…" Spike paused. "...I think you earned that hangover, Twilight."

Session 7.17 Kendell2 (Looking forward to seeing what other people think up for this).

"Okay, so what kind of game is this?" Trixie questioned, looking at the box that looked like the cover to a Neighponese giant robot Manega.

"Well you remember how Button Mash came up with those steam punk mecha suits?" Twilight asked.

"And freaked out because he thought you'd be upset?" Rainbow Dash asked.

Twilight blushed a little. "We sorted that out! In fact that's part of how I ended up with this game, he told his dad and his dad got the idea to make an RPG based on the Neighponese super robot genre Button helped him with some of the villain designs," she explained, giving a proud smile.

"So it's about mecha?" Trixie questioned.

"Yes, you see Equus is being invaded by various factions and your job is to use you mecha to fight them off," she explained. "One faction is a race of aliens who seek to take Equus as their own and based on a space colony, another are prehistoric beasts awakened during a battle with the previously mentioned aliens, still another are born from a parasitic metal that feed off negative emotions and convert their host into giant biomechanical monsters (interesting to note, they were originally designed to relieve stress but went horribly wrong), and so on, lots of variety, though the rules say the GM gets to pick and there's nothing stopping players from making their own faction..."

Fluttershy whimpered. "Do we have to destroy them?"

"Actually there's a 'Purification' Skill," Twilight explained. "If will allow you to have your finishing blow pacify members of the Prehistoric Beasts faction and cure one of the biomechanical monsters so long as their core hasn't been destroyed. Any type of mecha can decide not to destroy the core though, but you need that skill to SAVE them."

"Yay..."

"So what's the back story for the robots?" Gilda asked.

"Whatever you like! That's the fun of it!" Twilight said with a smile. "YOU get to choose! Button decided he had so much fun being creative with his that it should be part of the game! You can even have a mecha stole from the enemy and so on. The only limitation is you all have a set number of skill points to start with to keep it balanced, and every 25 levels you can get a secondary mecha that can combine with your original one. Or you can just choose to combine with another player's mecha if you want to. Or save the upgrade and if your mecha gets wrecked in a battle, you can rebuild it much stronger or replace it with a stronger one with all the buffs you've gotten instead of just repairing it as normal. If your mecha is a combining mecha to begin with you get a bonus from combining."

"Alright! This is my kinda game!" Gilda said, smirking.

"Can my mecha run on awesome?" Rainbow Dash questioned.

"Yes, actually. Just make sure you don't forget the distinction between awesomeness, radicalness, and coolness..."

Rainbow Dash blinked. "...You've been waiting for that, didn't you?"

"No, that's actually in the rule book," Twilight explained, showing it in the rule book.

"Oh...so that's why Button asked me that..."

"Oh, and if your mecha runs on awesome, hot bloodedness, or some other thing relating to those things you have to scream the names of your attacks and transformations dramatically," Twilight explained. "It's a rule."

"Perfect!"

"Can my robot run on kindness?" Fluttershy asked.

"Emotion based mecha work, in fact 'serenity of mind' has a good bonus."

"Pinkie Pie, you've been unusually quiet..."

Pinkie Pie had a crayon in her mouth and was drawing. "Oh! I was designing mine! It's called Joyful Heart!"

"Really? What's it like?"

"It's created by a scientist that wanted to protect everypony's smiles!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, showing her picture which looked like a mechanical, but heroic clown. "It is powered by the pilot's design to make everypony smile again! It has an aura that lift's it's allies spirits and uses a laser whip based after a ribbon and a mace based on a balloon!" she explained, doing animane-like poses. "It also has two powerful hot pink laser canons on it's shoulders and it can generate an energy trapeze to swing around during a fight! Her finishing move is 'Fiesta Finale' where she forms an orb of pure positive pink power and flip kicks it at the opponent like a soccer ball!"

Twilight expected nothing less from Pinkie. "That works. The aura could work as a morale booster for your allies."

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in joke) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Session 7.0 Kendell2
Session 7.1 BrutalityInc
Session 7.2 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 7.3 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 7.4 MtangaLion (with a little edit by me)
Session 7.5 MtangaLion
Session 7.6 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 7.7 BrutalityInc (For those who do not get the reference, Zathura, based on book by Chris Van Allsburg, author of Jumanji)
Session 7.8 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 7.9 Ardashir (with slight edit)
Session 7.10 Alex Warlorn
Session 7.11 Mooncalf99
Session 7.12 Alex Warlorn
Session 7.13 MtangaLion
Session 7.14 Ardashir and Alex Warlorn
Session 7.15 Richforce (Based on Betrayal at House on Hill (Not a grammar error, that's what the game is called).
Session 7.16 Mooncalf99 (For this particular game, imagine all the players are Baron Munchhausen.)
Session 7.17 Kendell2 (Looking forward to seeing what other people think up for this).
Cover art by Lightningtumble.

Session 8

Session 8.0 MtangaLion (addition at end by Ardashir)

Rainbow Dash was standing on the game table, on her hind legs with her wings spread for balance.

"That looks dangerous," murmured Fluttershy. "Does she have to do that?"

"She gets bonus points for doing that," said Trixie. "It's in the rulebook."

"This hoof of mine is burning blue!" shouted Rainbow Dash. "It's awesome roar tells me to grasp friendship!! ALICORN...FEATHER!!!" Then she punched the air so fast that all their ears popped, and a rainbow shockwave rattled the furniture.

Twilight removed a pair of earmuffs. "Plus ten points for...awesomeness, and minus three for doing a Rainboom in the house." She magically rolled a pair of dice. "Still, her attack easily destroys the boss mecha and the rest of the first wave."

Gilda snickered. "Nerd!"

Rainbow flapped her wings and floated back into her chair. "Don't care. Too awesome."

Applejack put a character sheet on the table and pushed it over to Twilight. "My new mecha will join in for the second wave. It's got a lasso of truth and it's powered by pure earth pony magic." The other side of the character sheet had a sketch of a cockpit, with her and Big Mac in virtual reality harnesses.

"Sounds good," said Twilight brightly. "Did you name it yet?"

AJ nodded. "Eeyup. Darn Tootin'."

"Great! What's the name?"

"Ah told you the name."

Twilight blinked. "Um...No, you didn't."

"Ah did so."

"So...the name of your mecha is what exactly?"

"Darn Tootin'."

"You named your giant robot 'What Exactly?'"

"Darn Tootin'."

Pinkie started waving a hoof. "Ooh, ooh! Third base!"

Gilda and Trixie threw popcorn at her.

Twilight exasperated. "That's it! I don't give a buck any more!"

Applejack asked. "What did ya say?"

"I don't give a buck!"

"That's the name o' the one Apple Bloom is makin'!"

Session 8.1 Richforce

"Sweetie and I came up with this design together," said Rarity producing a drawing a white feminine looking robot with light blue energy wings. "Sweetie came up with the robot and I made up its story. It's called Eros, it is armed with an energy bowgun, laser firing ‘bit drones', a plasma tipped spear with for close quarters combat and for a finisher a longbow that fires the ‘Valkyrie's Arrow' an energy based arrow that can be used to purify."

"What did you add to the design for your backstory?" asked Fluttershy.

"I added that it would have system that would give it a faster response time but it requires two operators a pilot and a gunner."

"That set up would work," said Twilight. "But according to Button's rules in this case if the pilot and gunner don't work as a team then the mecha will not perform to its full capabilities."

"That's part of the drama I came with. The pilot's name is Starvella and she is the princess of a race of friendly aliens that built Eros and came to stop the alien invaders so that they'd free her home planet. On her arrival to Equus fell in love a local stallion named Stellar Wind and, according to her people's customs, has declared him to be her betrothed, making him Eros' gunner."

"I hope we don't get a lot of cheesy romance," said Gilda.

"On the contrary, Stellar Wind is confused by the sudden engagement but as time would go on he would come to care for Starvella and would fight just as much to save her people as ours."

"I can see where this can change up the story," said Rainbow Dash.

Rarity came up with a drawing of a gold robot. "Wait until later in the campaign. Then we'd have to face the prince who was supposed to be in an arranged marriage with Starvella until one of the invading factions forced his people to call it off by invoking a treaty making them allies and he is forced to fight against us or have his own planet enslaved."

Applejack raised her eyebrow. "Rarity, you know this is a game, not one those cheap romance novels they have at the checkout at Barnyard Bargains right?"

Session 8.2 MtangaLion

"Well, why not, darling?" said Rarity. "Our little sisters are growing up so fast." She gave Applejack a sly look. "I wonder where Apple Bloom picked up the fine art of double entendres."

AJ glanced left and right, all shifty-eyed...

"Hey, Big Mac!" shouted AJ, with the whole house full of their Apple kin, and mugs of good Apple cider in hoof and many cheerful grins and reddened cheeks in evidence. "Have you seen mah hat? Ya know, the one Ah wear when Ah go harvest the apple fields."

Big Mac grinned hugely. "No, sis, Ah have not seen your bucking hat." Cousins and siblings roared with laughter, knowing those two were just getting started...

Applejack blushed. "Ah might have a notion or two."

Session 8.3 Kendell2

lright, Fluttershy, what's yours?" Twilight questioned.

"Oh..." Fluttershy pushed her character sheet over, the design looking surprisingly heavily armored, and the components looking like it was composed of an ambulance, a police car, and a fire truck. The ambulance served as her hind quarters, the fire truck her upper body and front legs,, and her head and chest from the police car. "Her name is Guardina, she's got a pilot named Healing Hooves, who's compassion is converted into energy to power her, but she's an...artificial intelligence that works with her pilot? Is that right?"

Twilight nodded. "Yes, that's right."

"She was built by a group called Safeguard to help protect civilians and limit the damage from the battles," Fluttershy explains. "She'll fight if she needs to, but her primary focus is on defense."

The Alicorn of Princess looked at the stat sheet, naturally Guardina had a below average attack stat and slightly above average speed, but her defensive stats were incredibly high. "I can see that."

Guardina was also a three part combining mecha. According to the rules, combining mecha could have more versatility in their components and a few more bonus skill points, but could only combine if all of their components were in functioning shape and it took sacrificing your turn to combine them, leaving them vulnerable (unless you invested in a transformation skill upgrade that could defend you for the turn). Fluttershy had dumped all those bonus points into defense.

"Her components are Guard Medic, Guard Fire, and Guard Police. Guard Medic carries medical supplies and has an opening hatch were civilians can enter and be evacuated. She also carries tools for repairing other robots. Guard Fire has multiple high pressure water cannons to put out fires and an extending ladder. The pressure of the water can be turned up high enough to cut through steel...if it needs to and the ladder can extend fast enough to act as a battering ram. Guard Police is the fastest, and the only one with any dedicated weapons, though most of them are nonlethal for capturing bad guys, like stun rounds. Though it does have a few guns for offense."

Twilight blinked.

"She asked me to help her a bit," Rainbow Dash replied. "She isn't good at coming up with things to blow stuff up."

Fluttershy nodded. "She's right...Guardina herself has Guard Fire's water cannons on her wrists and can use the ladder as a weapon. She still carries medical supplies, pistols that were from Guard Police. She's able to use her ladder in this form as either a bracer for herself or to hold up buildings that might fall. She also has a shield for protection. Her finishing move is called Purifying Knuckle has the armor on her wrist slide up over her hoof as a gauntlet and the water blasters spinning around to propel her punch into the enemy with a purifying aura around her blow. Oh...and if they're a mecha, the gauntlet grabs their cockpit and rips it out, protecting the pilot, if they're one of the parasite possessed monsters, she tears out the core. If they're a monster, it simply grabs onto them while they're stunned from the hit and purifies them...um, is this okay? I know she's not very offensive. I...don't play offensive too well..."

Twilight nodded. "Sounds very nice, and it looks like you also have a 'intercept enemy attacks' skill, that'll be useful. The team could really use a defensive unit. And according to the rules, going out of your way not to cause collateral damage scores a big expy boost."

"Huh?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Button apparently thought the good guys trying NOT to get ponies hurt should be rewarded."

"...Can't argue with that."

"Yay..." Fluttershy said with a smile.

Session 8.4 Alex Warlorn

"Suri I'm sorry," Twilight apologized. "But I'm booked for the size of the Mecha Heroes group for this adventure, and for the last time, no, you CAN'T play as one of the robot alien invaders!"

"But they just want to make every pony happy!" Said Equal Suri.

"No! They want to remove ALL emotions! Did you actually READ the setting summary?"

"Of course I didn't you puffed up royal brat!" Said Normal Suri. "I didn't want to play this game anyway! And-" Then Equal Suri was back in the driver's eat. "-please call me Buttons."

"No! So way! No how! You're suffering ENOUGH from identity disorder, I'm not driving a DEEPER wedge in your psyche."

"Can you make it so Unequal Me doesn't show up while I visit my parents? I don't want to upset them." Then Normal Suri. "I don't want to see them! - Yes I do!- No I don't! I haven't seen them in years! Not long enough!"

Twilight groaned. Maybe SURI should have been playing Libra instead of Starlight. "So...what was your character you made for the new O&O session?"

"Here you go."

"You ...you took the Commoner Class? You do realize that's for NPCs and not meant for adventuring right?"

"I don't want to stand out and show off to the other party members. And the rule say I can play any class I want right? Which is why if I'm stuck playing with this stupid game, use this one!"

"...A Half-Demon Centaur Spell-Thief with the kleptomania character flaw?"

"It DOES sound horribly unequal to the other players doesn't it?" Said 'Buttons' apparently back for a moment. "That's why I want to play a Commoner. NO! I don't want to play at all! I was unemployed, blacklisted, and all alone. It was horrible. It's so nice Starlight Glimmer showed me the way. I'll smoother that nag in her sleep with a pillow!"

Twilight banged her head against the crystal table. She wondered if Other Her had days like this.

"Uh...Sour Sweet...you did remember to take your medication this time right?"

"Of course I did!" She smiled. Then snarled. "In a pig's eye!"

Session 8.5 Kendell2 (Note; the Comet Kingdom is a Composite of the Comet Empire and Zeon, so I imagine the mecha mentioned resembling one of Zeon's.Also, I intentionally misspelled Zonder as Zondor, because I couldn't think of another name for them that's different enough.)

"Alright, the wave has almost been completely wiped out..." Rarity said, the current situation in the game being a fight with the Comet Kingdom's forces. However, that wasn't what had her a little cautious. While the Kingdom's forces weren't to be taken lightly (in fact one of the earliest plots had been preventing them from simply bombarding Equus from space with atomic weaponry), and they were always worried about defending against their ships attacks, but Twilight had put one of the biomechanical parasites into play, but it had yet to activate. The situation turning into a melee could change everything.

All three enemy factions were as big a threat to themselves as the ponies, as the Prehistoric Monsters were defending their turf against the Kingdom and the Parasites, the Parasites sought to mechanize EVERYTHING, and the Comet Kingdom naturally viewed all sides as enemies for that reason.

Twilight nodded and put the last counter on the parasite. "And the Z-Medal has finished it's incubation period..."

"Great, so now we've got to worry about that," Rainbow muttered. Given the Comet Kingdom had no qualms about harming ponies, they often had to make sure to be the one to beat the Parasite before they could destroy the core.

Twilight gave a smirk. "The commander of the Kingdom attack force mutates into a Zondor and assimilates his own mecha and the remains of his squad's mecha to become a Robo!"

The group's eyes went wide.

"What?! That can happen?!" Rainbow Dash asked. "I thought the mechas protected the pilot from those!"

"Yes, but not if they're infected BEFORE they get inside and neglected to do a search to pick it up and the Zondors are trying to mechanize the entire universe," the GM replied. "Remember when that happened to you?"

Rainbow Dash blushed. Her character had had that happen to them once, it'd been how their mecha had been wrecked for the first time. "Okay, didn't expected for a mook commander to become the boss!"

Twilight smiled, this scenario had been suggested in the rulebook for a specific reason. "But you see, the soldier's stress was directed at his superiors due to the pressure they put on him for the Kingdom's repeated failures and is attacking his own launch ship!"

The group blinked. "But that means our enemies are fighting one another," Rarity pointed out.

"But he can't eject..." Fluttershy pointed out. "And they don't have the ability to purify them. And even if it's on the enemy ship it could infect the others..."

The group looked conflicted. On one hand, the could let their enemies duke it out and clean up the winners, on the other, they could help and save the pilot.

"...Twilight, Guardina begins combination sequence, she's going to fight the Zondor," Fluttershy explained.

"Guardina performs an act of genuine mercy to an enemy, her stats are temporary doubled until the end of this battle due to her Kindness Power Source," Twilight replied with a smile.

"...What the heck, let's help the buckers out..." Rainbow Dash said, if Fluttershy was going to do it, why not her? "Besides, my character's been through this, probably wouldn't wish it on anyone else.

Session 8.6 Clacksphob

"Hi girls, great to be here again. Today, I brought my best friend Bon Bon along, she has a bit more experience with this than I do. And she most certainly isn't a Commando, or a Secret Agent, heh heh..."
"Thanks, Lyra.", Bon Bon replied, poison lacing her words. "I heard you all are rather new to roleplay, so I figured before Lyra breaks her campaign, it couldn't hurt to come along and give some assistance", said Bon Bon.
Lyra smiled. "I guess introductions are in order. That's Lemon Hearts, that's Twinkleshine, you already met Colgate, I mean, Minuette-"
"‘Colgate'?"
"It's an old nickname, it kind of stuck. Colgate is fine, really." The blue mare grinned.
"And this is Moondancer, she actually had the idea to throw together a session."
"It's nothing, really. I just wanted to give this a try, and, well, I never had anypony to give this a shot with, so..."
"So Lyra told me, you all have made your characters?", Bon Bon asked.
"Sure did! Although I'm not sure how these humans are supposed to work."
Bon Bon shot Lyra a deadpan look. "Of course."
"What?", Lyra asked defensively, "You yourself said to make your campaign about something you know well!"
"Yes, but..." Bon Bon sighed. "You know what? Never mind. I won't bother to put together a character; I'll just play any NPCs Lyra cooks up."
The four mares nodded.
"Well, come on, Lyra! Are we gonna start or what?", Colgate asked.
"Alright, if everypony's ready..."

Once upon a time, in the mundane Kingdom of Sumeria-
"Sumeria?", asked Twinkleshine.
"Supposedly, it's the first Kingdom of the Humans," said Moondancer.
-Yes, can I please continue? Good. There was a great King, whose might was unchallenged. His name was-
"What might could he possibly have had? Humans don't have magic, you said so!" Twinkleshine looked around the table, visibly confused. "Did I misunderstand something?"
Well, what humans lack in magic, they make up in strength, smarts, endurance, and innovation! So he was really strong, and the smartest in the land, and it is said that he invented houses!
"What is there to invent? Four walls and a roof, it's just a cave with a door! Even most pets understand that!"
"Just wait and listen, Lemon Hearts, I'm sure we'll get an explanation in a moment", Colgate offered.
Look, these humans are right at the beginning of their development! It's their first Civilization, think ‘even before the three tribes'! Anyways, his name was Alulim, and he received the kingship descended from the gods in the first city, called-
"Wait, what gods? So there is magic, after all?"
Bon Bon butted in, feeling the need to save Lyra's campaign before it even started. "Look, you're going to have to stretch things like that a bit. Sometimes magic needs to be created first. Or some settings have magic, but nopony who can use it. Or sometimes the world is only a simulation. And Rule Zero is always, the GM is right."
Thanks, Bon Bon. Lyra leaned in to nuzzle her best friend.
"Maybe you should turn off your epic narrator voice before saying that," Bon Bon replied.
No, I'm perfectly fine like this. It makes everything I say so much more profound! Mixed biscuits, mixed biscuits, mixed biscuits!
"Lyra, please, would you continue?"
Of course, Bon Bon. It is the annual punch-out-invent-athlon, a contest of strength, wits, and ingenuity. It is a big occasion, and everybody in the city attends. Would you please introduce your characters?

Session 8.7 Alex Warlorn

"Soooo, how did this happen again?" Nurse Red Heart asked.

Lyra and Bon Bon sat next to her each other. Bon Bon an arrow in the knee and had her front hooves crossed and glaring daggers at Lyra.

"Welll," Lyra rubbed the back of her head. "We were LARPing."

"You had an accident?"

"Yes...and no...Bon Bon's character took a hit and died, but she argued that an arrow at that range couldn't hit its target, and one thing led to another and-"

"Here you go!" Doctor Stable said handing Suri off to the mane six. "With her new medication she'll be happy and stable and as long as she keeps taking it her other personality will not emerge."

"That's good." Twilight said.

"I love helping my friends equally!"

"HEY! You said this would keep her other her away!" Rainbow Dash said.

Doctor Stable Condition blinked. "Wait, you mean the sociopathic, anti-social, kleptomaniac is her NOMAL personality?"

Session 8.8 Kendell2

"So this is about saving Hearth's Warming?" Starlight asked, looking at the RPG.

"Yes, the expected plot: evil witch trying to ruin Christmas, we much venture to the North Pole to save it," Twilight explained with a smile.

"Oh yes! The classic plan of trying to ruin Hearth's Warming! What villain, or former villain hasn't tried at least once?" asked Discord with a laugh.

Starlight blinked. "I never did..." she muttered. "I just thought the coal was Santa Hooves way of supporting me by giving me coal to keep myself warm..."

"Oh..." Discord said, blinking. "So just me?"

"Trixie just got visited by the Ghosts of Hearth's Warming..." Trixie remarked. "I'm friends with one of them now...Trixie is proud to no longer be on the naughty list!"

Discord rubbed his head. "Huh...I tried to turn the entire North Pole into molten chocolate. For some reason it didn't work. He just turned all of it into chocolate candy and then gave me coal...So next time I tried making it snow into flaming peppermints, but he just extinguished them all when he came within ten miles of them...then gave me coal. Oh! And then there was the time I tried to drop a meteor on the North Pole! Somehow a ton of dragons showed up to save him and blew it to smithereens...and he gave me coal..."

Twilight blinked. "How many times DID you try to ruin Hearth's Warming?"

"One thousand, five hundred, and thirty nine times. One of which I managed while still stone! In fact this year is the first year I've been capable of trying to ruin the holiday and made no attempt to ruin Hearth's Warming at all! Oh I'm such a nice Draconequus, aren't I?"

Twilight rolled her eyes while Fluttershy hugged him.

Session 8.9 SomeRandomMinion

The green and black dice clattered to a stop, bringing forth yet another round of groans from every foal at the table...except for Sweetie Belle, who squeed in delight and clapped her hooves.

"EEE! Three points of damage to everypony, AND I get another Power Cube!" Sweetie levitated her 'Filly-Saurus Rex' figure off the board and gave the cardboard dino-filly a quick nuzzle before adding one more of the game's currency to her rather large pile. "So, how're your kaiju holding up?"

Despite her innocent tone, everypony knew that Sweetie was REALLY asking if she'd, yet again, dominated the board. "Draco-Mech is totaled," Button Mash announced miserably. He idly knocked his own figurine of a robotic dragon over, mimicking a mechanical crash under his breath. "And just one turn before I was gonna use my heal card...."

Apple Bloom's monster, a giant Changeling Queen with a yellow-and-black shell, also tipped over. "Dangit, ya squished Queen Hornet!" She brightened up a bit and giggled, addressing her fallen beast. "Sorry yer Majesty; guess ya won't get ta flood the Studson River with honey..."

"....Nope. Not making an 'I'm melting, oh what a world' joke. Not gonna happen." Diamond's voice was firm as she tipped over her own giant beast, a titanic wolf-like Diamond Dog made of ice. "Not even sure if Abominable Snow-Mutt can talk..."

Sweetie Belle blinked. "Wait...I got all three of you in one go? ...YES! I win! That makes me....Queen of Manehatten!" She pumped a hoof into the air, then winked at everypony as she scooped her victorious kaiju into her hooves, sliding it around the board as if it were stomping through the conquered city. "RARGH! Filly-Saurus squished all other monsters, now tiny ponies do what she say!" Sweetie rumbled, putting on her best 'big evil monster' voice--which really just sounded like she had a sore throat.

"Grr; Tiny ponies make streets wider! Filly-Saurus hate squeezing between buildings...and her flank got stuck between some in Eastside!" The final words were a--still 'monstrous'--pout. "Stupid metal dragon shoot her in butt with laser!"

Button smirked, taking a robotic and vaguely dragonish pose. "SAR-CAS-TIC RE-MARK: A LAR-GER TAR-GET IS EAS-IER TO HIT. DRACO-MECH MAKES NO APO-LO-GIES, OR-GAN-ICS." He ducked under a cupcake thrown by Sweetie. "Hey! Get mad at the robot dragon, not at me!" he chortled, holding up his figurine as a scapegoat/shield.

Sweetie gave a fake snarl, flitting her cardboard monster about imperiously. "She not like getting stuck! Change streets! And any tiny pony call Filly-Saurus' flank big, she eat them...or maybe squish them with her flank....and that NOT hypocritical!! Rwarrrgh!"

The little skit raised everypony's spirits, all but erasing their rather devastating loss from memory as giggles filled the air.

"Not bad, not bad; didn't expect you to beat us all that easy," Diamond said, helping Apple Bloom collect the tiles for smash-able buildings. "Didn't think you'd last that long staying in Manehatten, since you can't heal there."

Sweetie shrugged, cleaning up her own end of the board. "It's risky, but if you keep getting healing cards or damage boosters, you can tough it out. Thanks for bringing the game, Button! This was so much fun!" Her voice growled on the last word, making the filly wince and massage her throat. "Ugh, that monster voice kinda hurts after a while..."

As the King of Manehatten board was put back inside the box, Applebloom spoke up.

"So, how long y'all reckon Discord or some weird magic thing ends up turnin' us all INTAH these giant monsters next time we play?" At the stunned looks she got, she rolled her eyes. "Oh c'mon, it ain't like somethin' weirder ain't happened. 'Sides, d'ya REALLY think Discord would miss a cue like THAT to go makin' game night a bad movie marathon?"

The assembled foals all took a moment to ponder that; Apple Bloom looking around the room like she was expecting something to happen.

"...Huh. That usually works."

Session 8.10 Ardashir with little bit on the end by Alex Warlorn

Apple Bloom and her friends were not the only ones looking at King of Manehattan at that immediate moment. Unfortunately, they were the only ones happy about it.

"WHAT!!!"

"Please! Your Madjesty!"

Changelings dove for cover as Chrysalis yanked the game away from some panicked nymphs. Dice and tiny monsters scattered, all save one black and yellow Changeling piece. That one Chrysalis held quite carefully. The little Changelings froze in terror as the queen glared at them.

"WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS??"

"Great Queen!" One Changeling dared to fly close. Chrysalis snarled at them. Hoping someling would get the bright idea to hurry the nymphs away before Chrysalis took her temper out on them, the brave Changeling said, "You ordered us to learn more about Equestrian culture...And games and stories can be a valuable source of insight into what a culture values -- URRK!"

They kicked feebly as Chrysalis held them by the throat.

"That was not what I asked," Chrysalis said, her voice dangerously calm now. She held the Changeling monster piece before her subject's eyes. "Who among those insolent ponies got the idea of making me -- ME! -- some monster?"

The Changeling thought, 'somepony who knows you?' "I have no idea, majesty. Such an insult..."

"It certainly is," Chrysalis snapped as she dropped them. Ignoring the Changeling as they gasped for air, she said, "I am not A monster. I am THE monster! Ponies and their brats should be having nightmares about me. Not beating some, some fake me in a game!" She tossed 'Queen Hornet' away (and didn't see the nymph that quickly snatched it up and hurried off). "Find my best infiltrators! I want them to bring me the insolent being that offended against my royal dignity. They will suffer for this insult!"

"Hey, Poindexter, do you think we might have gone overboard with some of those King of Manehattan monsters?"

"Oh, please, do you think somepony's gonna kill us?"

"You mean like that robot you built that wanted to replace all the brains of the Princesses?"

"It was only a prototype! It wasn't armed or anything."

"I believe you were shouting 'No! You were programmed to protect ponies from changelings!' and it went 'Bzt, that is not logical: changelings are ponies, bzt.' Before Shining Armor smashed it."

"I was just testing out some software in case Chrysalis tried anything on game night one of those times..."

Session 8.11 Mooncalf99

Twilight Sparkle was getting buried in a small mountain of paper when Rainbow Dash flew into the study. Most other ponies would have been concerned with this, but to the ponies in her immediate social circle, this was an ordinary sight and nothing to be concerned with. If you wanted to get technical about it, the pile rated less a mountain and more a foothill, or a hillock. Not very impressive at all.

"Hey. Twilight," Rainbow said, ground-level topological definitions the last thing on her mind. "Got a minute?"

 Twilight looked up. "Oh, hi, Rainbow! Is it time for the game already? I didn't lose track of the hour again, did I?"

 "Uh, no? It's just afternoon," Rainbow said. She looked at the papers. "Is this all for tonight's game?"

 Twilight laughed. "Oh, no, of course not. It's mostly tectonic drift charts, because...well, it's not important right now. My game notes are much simpler. I try to nail down some things I want to keep track of, but most of the time I want you all to be able to do what you want." She picked up a folder. "See this, though? This is my folder of things to throw at you when you're being troublesome. I learned that from Shiny. Always have a secret weapon."

 Rainbow chuckled. "You keep surprising me, egghead. Seriously, just the fact that you wanted to run a game so...so..."

 "Pinkie-like?" Twilight suggested. Rainbow nodded. "I know. And if you'd asked me a few years ago, I probably would've refused. But you girls have had a good influence on me. I actually asked Pinkie if she wanted to GM, but she insisted I try first."

 "Huh...I guess I can see that," Rainbow mused.

 "So what did you come over for?" Twilight asked. "You seemed to have something on your mind."

 "Oh, right," Rainbow said. "Well...it's about Gilda."

 "She's not canceling, is she?" Twilight said, concerned. No GM had ever appreciated a player dropping out or no-showing without warning. Shining Armor had once banned two players from his group for repeatedly not attending when they were supposed to.

 "Of course not!" Rainbow protested. "She flew into town yesterday, and she's really excited about the game. Even if she tries to play it cool and all that. You know how she is. I just wanna make sure you don't have a problem with her character, you know, since she's kind of overpowered."

 "Huh." Twilight looked at her friend for a long moment. "Tell me, do you have a problem with Fluttershy's character, since she's so overpowered?"

 "W-what?!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "Fluttershy? Her weird-animal character? Overpowered?"

 "She can transform into any kind of creature, big or small, as long as it fits the ‘Call of Ponythulhu' genre," Twilight explained. "Which technically could let her do anything, as long as she can pick the right form for it."

 "But Flutters never does anything like that," Rainbow protested. "All she does is being helpful and cute about it. Unless Discord gets her to go along with his latest scheme, and even then..."

 "No, because Fluttershy is who she is, and she just wants to be helpful and friendly and cute," Twilight explained. "Pinkie Pie's character could be terrifying if she actually tried for it. And if you want to go by sheer power...I think Trixie tops the chart."

 "Trixie...uh, okay..." Rainbow muttered disbelievingly. She fought down the urge to ask why her own super-awesome character didn't warrant a mention of being overpowered as well. Pinkie was not cooler than her! "Seriously, how the flying feather is Trixie overpowered? She's just a self-centered glory seeker with delusions of grandeur." She smirked suddenly. "And her character's not much better!"

 Twilight rolled her eyes. "Oh, be nice. Anyway, she's a literal star. If she wasn't horribly violating the rules of physics in order to stay in a nice and stable pony shape, she'd destroy everything just by being there. And yes, we've talked about that and we don't actually want that to happen. But since the game is about having crazy fun instead of destroying everything, it's okay with playing fast and loose with things, so she's just another eccentric weirdo with a few crazy powers and a funny background story."

 "So...you're not worried about Gilda because you think she won't want to play a destructive monster?" Rainbow asked dubiously.

 "Oh, I'm sure she'll want to play a monster," Twilight said with a confident grin. "And she'll get to. I'm simply not worried because she drastically overestimates how destructive she really can be."

 "You're not planning to nerf her, are you?" Rainbow asked. "She hates that. I told her that we get to go nuts all the time, and if you start to railroad her..."

 "No, I just..." Twilight stopped. "Oh, I see what you mean. Hmm...that might be a problem, but...okay, I think I know what to do. I'll need your help, though. Can I count on you to back her up tonight? Just stick with her, cool her down when she needs it..."

 "I getcha," Rainbow said, saluting sharply. "I'm on it. Don't want a repeat of her first visit, right?"

 "Right." Twilight smiled confidently. "After all, the important thing is to have fun. For everyone."

Session 8.12 Mooncalf99

Tonight's game was held in the main throne room around the Cutie Map, due to the need for seating space more than anything. Twilight and her friends had their usual seats, while Gilda was sandwiched between Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. Trixie and Starlight sat next to Rarity and were arguing about...something about spell adaptation and speed factors, which left the fashionista feeling very much out of her depth. Discord had curled up among the roots from the old library, his head hanging down by Fluttershy's side. Spike had joined them too, sitting on his own smaller seat by Twilight's side. With no friendship problem to call for attention, the map was just an ordinary table, currently stacked with the detritus of gaming: character sheets, books, dice, pencils, figurines and far more snacks than was healthy.

"Okay!" Twilight began, politely calling for attention. "I'm really very surprised how many players we've gathered for this campaign. I mean, nine players? That's actually pushing it. So I've been thinking of making a few changes."

"You're not switching to that weird game with the cannibalistic breezies, are you?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"N-no, of course not!" Twilight said hurriedly. "Why would you even think that?"

"I thought it looked cool," Gilda muttered. Fluttershy made a queasy face at her. "What? It's just for fun! Jeez!"

"Is Suri joining?" Rarity asked.

"Not until her mind stabilizes a bit more," Starlight said. "I'm no doctor, but I think this game might be too stressful for her right now."

"I was going to say that I'm deputizing Spike to assistant Game Master," Twilight continued. "I'm not fully decided on how to handle it yet, but he'll be doing some rule calls and...other things."

"Good thinkin', Twi," Applejack said. "That should take some o' the weight off yer back. Ah know full well what happens when ya try doin' everything yerself." She chuckled at the memory.

"What she's not telling is that it took me a whole afternoon to convince her," Spike said. "She really was planning to handle everything on her own first."

"Spike! They didn't need to know that!" Twilight protested, to the general laughter at her expense. "Now, earlier when Gilda presented her character, I realized something. Other than she and Starlight, none of you have actually described what your characters look like."

"We haven't?" Rarity asked. She turned to Trixie, who shrugged. "I thought we did. I certainly have a solid idea of what you all look like...I think. Then again, I've always had a knack for visualization."

"I think we just jumped right in," Pinkie Pie said. "Unless Discord stole our memories of it."

"If I did, I must have stolen my own as well," Discord said. "Which is not entirely impossible, mind you. But no, probably not."

"Well, I don't see any problem doing it again," Rarity said. "The Disco Diva is from a parallel dimension where disco never went out of vogue. So she's technically a normal unicorn, except for the whole disco thing. Also, her coat looks like tie-dye in red, blue and yellow, and her mane is bronze-colored. She's always wearing disco-era clothes and manestyles."

"How you can visualize that with a straight face is beyond Trixie's comprehension," Trixie said wryly.

"Self-depreciation can be useful now and then," Rarity said proudly. "It's all fun and games, anyway."

"Too true," Trixie said. "My turn? Bright Light was once just another light in the sky, distant and eternal. Until her gravity well caught a radiomagical transmission sent from Equestria by a few secluded unicorns hoping to make contact with distant extraequestrial life. Intrigued, she used the unfathomable powers of space--"

"What kind of powers are those?" Pinkie asked.

"The unfathomable kind," Trixie said. "You cannot fathom them. Anyway, she used it to transform herself into a smaller, more focused form in the likeness of the Equestrian dominant species, and raced towards her new home. There, she was taken in by a group of unicorn astronomers, and sent to school, so she could wow and impress you all with her glory." Trixie paused to take a sip from her hayshake. "Anyway, Bright Light looks like a pony, but made from swirling cosmic energy in various colors, depending on her mood. And she likes to wear the latest fashions."

"You gave up on the plan to be Luna's secret starchild, then?" Discord asked.

"Apparently it didn't fit into the setting," Trixie said, pouting theatrically. "Twilight probably thought I'd try to abuse it. Next!"

"Should I describe Libra again?" Starlight asked.

"No, you were very concise the first time," Rarity said. "But that reminds me. I've made these to help you out when you're split apart." She took out two small half-masks from her bag and presented them to Starlight.

"Oh my," Starlight breathed, holding the two masks up for scrutiny. Both were small enough to just cover the lower half of her face, and one was white with a blissful smile on its lips, while the other was black and twisted into a sinister sneer. They were also decorated with black and white gemstones. "How nice! Oh, I get it!" She held up the black mask. "Haha! I am the deceptive Ra!" Then she put it down and took up the white mask. "And I am Lib. It's so wonderful to meet you." She lowered the mask. "Right?"

"Exactly!" Rarity said. "Props can make it so much easier to roleplay. Otherwise, you'd have to keep telling us which of your sides you're playing at the moment, and that gets really tiresome. And it helps staying in character!"

"Thank you..." Starlight smiled, a few tears glittering in the corners of her eyes. Then she threw her hooves around Rarity and hugged her tightly. "Thank you!"

"Personally, Trixie prefers hats for separating different characters," Trixie said conversationally to Discord, trying very hard not to look bothered by the sudden display of affection taking place next to her.

"Indeed, hats are useful," Discord said. "I once played eighty-seven characters simultaneously and kept track of them that way. No other players, no GM, just me and a huge stack of hats. Good times. Should I describe my character now? Okay then. Random Act is, as mentioned, an earth pony. He's a bit boring-looking - ugh, what was I thinking when I tried to make a one-note gag character? - say, a light grey coat and a black mane. He is, however, quite handsome, and looks very wholesome and trustworthy. The kind of stallion you wouldn't think twice about lending a hundred bits, or send off with your daughter for the evening. Oh, and he's got a question mark for a cutiemark."

There was a moment of silence at the table.

"Okay, wow," Gilda said finally. "That was incredibly creepy, and I've known a few creeps. Can I punch him when I see him later?"

"Au contraire, mon chasseur," Discord said. "As I said, I am a good pony. Nice, friendly, helpful. I may have gotten tangled up with a band of ruffians, but I'm obviously just a victim of circumstance. I'm trying to help out more than anything, and keep my dear, innocent friend, Mane Agery, safe and sound. Right?"

"Makes perfect sense to me!" Fluttershy said proudly.

Gilda opened her beak to say something, but fell silent. She stared from Discord to Fluttershy. "You." She pointed a claw at Fluttershy. "I'll figure you out sooner or later."

"Okay," Fluttershy said, smiling sweetly. "Okay, I've actually thought about this. Um, there's really no point in describing all the forms I can take, is there?"

"We'd have to make sanity checks every time," Spike said.

"But obviously I have a normal form I use sometimes, right?" Fluttershy continued. "And it looks something like a pony-sized quadrupedal squirrel with a large fluffy tail."

"That's really cute," Twilight said.

"Yeah, and that's the dominant species on her planet," Discord said. "Which means a race of squirrel-ponies beat the stuffing out of dozens and dozens of nightmare-inducing monsters to get there. What does that say about her?"

There was another silence. This time, Rainbow Dash broke it. "Hey, Gee? I think Fluttershy took the prize."

"What the flying feather..." Gilda muttered. "No way am I gonna lose to her!"

"Welp, I'll jus' get mine done an' over with," Applejack said. "Perfect'ly normal earth pony, ‘cept for a bit o' mad sciencin'. Black coat, white mane. Wears one o' those authoritative black jackets an' cap. Cutiemark is a red circle with a slash through. That's about it."

"So your unique talent is stopping others from doing what they want?" Spike asked.

"Eyup, that's the one. Anypony misbehavin', I'll put a stop to it," Applejack said proudly.

"Ooh! Ooh! Me next! Me next!" Pinkie cried, bouncing up and down on her throne. "Okay, picture this. Reptilian. Green scaly skin. A shock of magenta hair on her head. And a big mouth that can expand at will, up to big enough to swallow a timberwolf, with five rows of teeth!"

"Eep!" Fluttershy squeaked. "S-scary!"

"Um...I also wear funny sunglasses, a poofy white chef's hat, and a white chef's jacket?" Pinkie suggested quickly.

Fluttershy looked thoughtful and smiled. "Okay, that's less scary."

Pinkie beamed. She didn't like to frighten Fluttershy, but sometimes it happened when she didn't watch herself. "Also she's got a wide, potbellied body, two stumpy legs that can move deceptively fast, and six arms. Originally evolved for more efficient foraging, but now used to optimize cooking." She clapped her hooves together. "Okay, now it's Dashie's turn!"

"Yeah..." Rainbow Dash said hesitantly. "Okay, I'm gonna level with you. I...kinda don't have a good idea. At least not something that's cool or funny enough. Sorry. Can I pass for now?" She slumped down on her throne, looking dejected.

Pinkie scrunched up her muzzle, looking long and hard at her best friend. (Of course, Pinkie considered every friend she had to be her best friend. But of all her best friends, Dashie was probably her best. And so was every single one of the others as well.) Then she looked at Gilda. "Cool wings, am I right?"

"What?" Gilda asked in surprise.

"A guy called ‘Wings Maximus' has got to have some seriously cool wings, right?" Pinkie clarified.

"Oh..." Gilda's eyes lit up. "Oh yeah! Definitely. Like, huge ones! Or...three pairs! And a flexible body, like a snake. No legs, ‘cuz his people fly all the time."

"They fly through space, always looking for the next speed rush, and their radiant wings can catch the solar wind for a boost," Trixie suggested. "That makes Wings' acrophobia all the more tragic, of course, as he was forced to seek shelter planetside. But on the other hoof, his triumph when he ultimately overcomes his fear will be all the sweeter."

Rainbow Dash stared at her friends, her mouth open and curling into a smile. "And...uh...cool shades?"

"Three pairs of cool shades," Rarity suggested. "Because he's got three pairs of eyes?"

"And he feeds on electricity, which he generates by collecting sunlight on his scales, since physical food is hard to find in deep space," Twilight offered. "Though he can eat Equestrian foods, and...enjoys strong flavors?"

"Which is why we hang out!" Pinkie finished. "Yes! That's an awesome character!"

"Yeah..." Rainbow Dash chuckled slowly, picking up speed before becoming a triumphant laugh. "Yeah, I'm pretty awesome, aren't I? Check out Wings Maximus!"

"Okay, I think that covers everything," Twilight said, feeling very proud of her friends. "It took a while, though. Let's eat, and then we'll begin playing."

Session 8.13 SomeRandomMinion

"Erm, My Queen? We have a problem..."

Chrysalis sneered even worse than usual. How dare this peon interrupt her massage? Shooing the masseurs away with a buzz of her wings, she slinked off the table and towered over the trembling messenger. "This had better be important. Speak now."

Her potential victim barely hid a gulp. "Y-Your Majesty recalls the i-i-incident with the game the nymphs were playing a few weeks ago, y-y-yes?"

"Of course I do. The brats playing with that mocking fantasy Changeling Queen with a wasp's body? The fabrication stealing the terror-spotlight from ME? How could I forget?" Showing ALL of her fangs, Chrysalis leaned down and got in the messenger's face. "But how. Is that. Important?"

Half-babbling in terror, the smaller Changeling could only reply, "JustPleaseGoOutsideAndYou'llSee....!"

Shoving her underling aside with a violent burst of magic, Chyrsalis stomped out to a balcony....

...And came face-to-face with the unmistakable, yellow-and-black visage of a (gigantic) fellow Changeling Queen. Save for a VERY sharp pair of mandibles in place of jaws and black eyes (and being the size of a skyscraper), she was the spitting image of Chrysalis.

Chrysalis greeted her unexpected visitor with all the royal dignity she could muster.
"Abbawhaaaa....?!"

"Konnichiwa, Chrysalis-chan," the insect titaness greeted with a bow. "I am Queen Supia of the honorable Hive Mandarinia in Neighpon. I take it you have issue with a certain game? Featuring a kaiju very much like myself, yes?"

"Er...yes? A-Are you...here about that?" Chrysalis was rooted to the floor, trying to look covertly for an escape route...but her harliquine eyes kept drifting back to Supia's mandibles; they looked like they could cleave an airship in half...

"Hai. You see, Chrysalis-chan; my Hive only recently opened up to the world--and no, not ALL of us are my size--and when the nature of the 'Queen Hornet' character was revealed to me, I was delighted! To see that children would be happy to play as a Changeling Queen, AND the thought of her rampaging through a city would be their GOAL...it was liberating. I feared I would only be seen as a monster; I even had a few 'rampages' in ages past to protect my Hive. Why, I'm even thinking of playing Hornet in a film based on the game--"

Supia seemed to catch herself rambling, quickly cutting off the flow of words with a clack of her mandibles. Chrysalis let herself snigger at the un-royal display, so much for this overgrown honeybee having any power...

And then Supia leaned in, her black eyes and those terrible mandibles filling Chrysalis' view utterly.

"And then I learned of your tantrum over the game." Supia's voice was a demonic, buzzing hiss. "Sending some of your soldiers to harass the poor developers just for NOT making YOU their monster? Do you even KNOW size-shifting spells? Have YOU ever cause a tsunami with just the force of your wings? Have YOU ever crushed a mad daimyo's army LITERALLY underhoof?" A slim pink tongue shot out and licked at those horrible mandibles. "Do you know what kappas taste like when you swallow them whole by the dozens?!"

"N-N-No....I h-h-h-haven't g-g-g-gotten around to that y-yet.....!"

Supia buzzed her wings briefly, creating a gust that blew Changelings off their hooves all around and kicked up a minor dust storm. I. Do, LITTLE Chrysalis-chan. And with all THAT in mind, which one of us makes a better kaiju?"

"Y-y-you do...."

"Very good. And knowing that....do you STILL think that YOU should have been in that lovely little game, rather than a doppelganger of myself?"

"N-N-No, Your Majesty...."

Supia abruptly pulled back, suddenly cheerful again. "Excellent! Then I guess the matter is settled. I trust that you'll send an apology to the developers, saying that this matter was an overreaction on your part? AND that you'll lift the ban on the game in your Hive, if the rumors I've heard are true?"

"Yes, of course! OF COURSE! A silly think to ban such a fun game over, right?" Chrysalis somehow managed to go pale despite having a carapace.

Supis bowed again. "Wonderful, Chrysalis-chan. I'm glad we could straighten this matter out. I despise cutting meetings short, but I'm afraid I must leave now. My elite Changelings are getting ready for a parade; they're quite proud of their new samurai attire. Farewell, Chibi-Chrysalis."

With a thunderous buzz of her wings, the gigantic Changeling rose into the air and took off, her wingbeats still echoing long after she was gone.

Chrysalis was left shuddering where she stood, nursing a newfound phobia of ANYTHING wasp-like.

Session 8.14 Mooncalf99

"You race up the stairs inside the Statue of Friendship, the tidal wave hot on your heels," Twilight declared. "Everyone, make a drive roll to avoid stumbling and getting caught. Bright Light takes a two-point penalty because the moon is weighing her down."

"Argh! Cursed localized tides!" Trixie growled, rolling her dice. "Six! Do I make it?"

"Just barely," Twilight said. "The water is lapping at your hooves."

"It's following the moon! Throw it to me and you'll be safe!" Pinkie Pie urged.

"What kind of fool do you think I am?" Trixie spat back. "You'll just eat it!"

"Curses, you figured me out!" Pinkie cried. "I mean, no, of course not. I wouldn't dream of trying to eat the big, rocky, candylike, yummy-yummy yum..."

"We could just keep it, and make ponies pay us in return for not flooding their property," Starlight said, holding her black mask. She switched it with her white one. "Absolutely not! Benefitting from somepony else's suffering is terrible!" She switched again. "Oh, but think of how their mutual fear of flooding will unite their hearts and bring them together!"

"Just do something!" Applejack declared. "Ah'm pinned down over here an' ah can't keep the Mares in Black away forever! Horseapples, this is going to get on my school record, isn't it?"

"They start shouting at you in the Royal Canterlot Voice," Spike said. He cleared his throat and raised his voice a little to pretend he was shouting. "PUT DOWN THE ORBITAL BODY AND BE DESTROYED! Roll Cool to resist the voice of authority."

"I don't even have it!" Applejack protested. She rolled quickly. "Wait, don't y'all mean ‘put it down or be destroyed'?"

"NAY!" Spike shouted.

"Um...Bright?" Fluttershy said. "Maybe we should return it, or put it back where it belongs? Um, because Princess Luna is getting really angry."

"Except that wouldn't have happened if somealien hadn't let slip that we had it in the first place," Rainbow Dash said.

"But she seemed so sad, walking around Canterlot and putting up ‘missing moon' posters everywhere," Fluttershy protested. "And those ‘have you seen me?' pictures on the milk cartons!"

"Is this for real?" Gilda asked carefully. "Feels like I'm watching an insane asylum..."

"Pretty much, but it's fun," Rainbow said back. "Just wait ‘til Twilight's introduced you, and you'll see."

"No, it's mine! Mine, mine, mine!" Trixie cried. "You don't understand what it's like to feel the ticking of your astronomical clock, Mane. I might only be two billion years old now, but sooner or later I'll bloat into an ugly old red giant, and I need to settle down and start a solar system of my own before that happens. And this moon...it might just be the one for me. I can feel it in my radiative zone. Right here." She tapped her chest.

"Fly-baby, that's just gravity," Rarity said. "Face the facts, that old rock's not right for you. He's Luna's used goods. Yesterday's news. You gotta hook up with a fresh new ball of good vibes. Or two or three. A couple good planets who haven't let some other sun set on them, you know what I'm saying?"

"Hmm..." Trixie mused.

"Okay, while Brighty's getting...I can't believe this, but romantic advice on a planetary scale?" Discord said. "Yeah, I sneak open her backpack and grab the stone. With my ‘They'll never know' knack, I get a whopping twelve on the roll."

"Hey!" Trixie yelled. "You put that back!"

"Bright Light is too tied up in her astro-maternal woes to notice," Twilight said. "Of course, now the raging tide is going after you instead, Random. What do you do?"

"I leap from the crown of the statue, hoping like Tartarus that somealien with a nice and shifty shape, hint hint, will catch me," Discord said. "Alternatively I go splat on the sidewalk. That's technically workable too, although I'd prefer not to get bonked out in the process."

"I'm on it," Fluttershy said. "My astral space bug form is fast and mobile enough to catch him easily."

"Ooh! Ooh!" Pinkie cried. "Idea! Can I throw Wings to catch him first? It's a Crystal Heart Special!"

"Hmm..." Twilight considered.

"No way," Spike said. "That's wife tossing, and they're not married. Or at least they take penalties for it."

"Sure, why not," Twilight said. She gave Spike an amused look. "You take a minus ten penalty on the roll because you're not married to Wings. And because he's the wrong gender."

"What would you need to perform an emergency wedding?" Starlight mused.

"Maybe I can--" Pinkie began.

Rainbow Dash cut her off. "No way. I'm afraid of heights, remember? You're not throwing me off. It's bad enough to be climbing up here."

"Okay, so Random Act leaps off the Statue of Friendship," Twilight declared. "The homing tidal wave bursts out after him, flooding the statue in the process and thoroughly soaking Wings, Hungry, Bright and the Diva. Take two bonk."

"Does my polarized neutronium catsuit help at all?" Rarity asked cautiously.

"It doesn't get wrinkly from the water, if that counts," Twilight said. "Mane takes off from the ground, drawing a few horn-bursts from the MiB, although most of them are still cowering from Crimson's shots."

"Ah ran outta zapgun ammo five rounds ago," Applejack admitted. "Ah've been throwin' rocks an' strongly worded remarks about government spendin' since."

"It's enough, I guess," Twilight said. "Mane catches Random holding the moon just as the tidal wave crashes into them and flings them into the MiB midst."

"I take up a heroic stance on Mane's back and hold out the moon," Discord declared. "When I land, I present it to Princess Luna. Your moon, your highness."

"Luna was with the Mares in Black?" Starlight asked, surprised.

"The MiB are Luna's own department, actually," Twilight said. "They also all look just like her, for some reason...Luna takes the moon without so much as a ‘thank you' and flies off into the sky. A few seconds later, it appears on the horizon, back to its normal size and all. The tide dies down. No, it doesn't leave any loot, Pinkie."

"And the day is saved, thanks to valor, sense, and good old-fashioned Equestrian values," Discord said proudly. "Who's up for some apple pie?"

"Moo-oon!" Trixie cried, reaching dramatically for the sky as though she was trying to milk a giant, invisible cow. "Moony moon, come back!"

"Hey, you still got a few million years, top cat," Rarity consoled her. "Weren't you gonna be a hep idol singer, anyway? You don't want an old deadbeat like him cramping your style, you dig?"

Trixie blinked exaggeratedly, looking as though she came to her senses. "You're right! No way is this star getting tied down to that has-been! I'm going places, and I don't need no baggage! The sky's the limit, baby!"

"Preach it, McFly!" Rarity agreed.

"So I kiss the Diva," Trixie continued.

"So you-- wait, wait, what?!" Rarity cried. "Where did that come from?!"

"Relax, it's not for real," Trixie reassured her with a laugh. "But, hey, apparently it's how Equestrians thank each other or something, and Bright Light is feeling really grateful. Besides, it'll do wonders for my public image. Teenaged colts eat it up like zap apple jam, you know?"

"She's got a point," Pinkie remarked. "Nothing spices things up like a bit of shoujou ai."

"B-but I don't swing that way!" Rarity squeaked.

Trixie laughed. "It's free love, Diva. Don't you practice what you preach? Now pucker up for a thermonuclear smooch!"

"That sounds...uh, dangerous?" Rainbow Dash muttered.

Gilda snorted derisively. "Right, ‘dangerous'. Get your wings down, Dash."

Oh man, oh man, I'm so conflicted right now, Spike thought. I should stop this, but... "Uh, Twilight?"

"Don't worry, Spike. This is just the right place for a sudden distraction," Twilight said. "Suddenly the ground starts to shake, and all of you struggle to keep standing. The pavement cracks and breaks apart, and a terrifying creature - well, terrifying to anyone but Mane Agery - ascends, throwing debris about."

Gilda groaned. "Dude, you're gonna fight a monster too? Am I ever gonna get to join in or what?"

"Of course!" Twilight said. "This is your very own introduction. See?"

"Oh?" Realization hit the griffon. "Oh! Right, that's me! I'm big and awesome! Hah, yeah." She scratched her chin in thought. "I was just gonna walk up to the others the usual way, but this is pretty cool too."

"You're welcome," Twilight said wryly. "So, a monstrosity resembling nothing so much as a dozen dragons mashed together in weird ways bursts from the ground, and looms over the Manehattan cityline. What do you do, Gilda?"

"I shoot my-- wait, how big am I?" Gilda asked.

"About the size of the Statue of Friendship, by rough estimate," Twilight said, smiling amiably.

"But we never put that on her character description," Rainbow said.

Twilight just shrugged, still smiling. "Spike and I agreed that your power package wasn't really complete without the Monster Out power. You're regular-sized normally, but can get big, at which point you're also super-strong and super-tough."

"You...you gave me more powers?" Gilda said in disbelief. "You thought my character wasn't awesome enough?"

"I'm sorry?" Twilight said, still smiling. "Did I step on your artistic vision? Don't you like it?"

"I...dude, this rocks! I definitely like it!" Gilda protested. "Thanks!"

"Ah, but Gilda's missed a very dangerous sign," Discord whispered to Fluttershy. "The GM is smiling. That's never a good sign..."

"Can we get back to the plot now?" Trixie asked sharply. "Is the big ugly thing going to be a problem, or can Bright Light get back to getting her stellar convergence on?"

Gilda smirked. "You know, I was going to just rampage a bit, but I think I just spotted a great target for my fire breath. She's up in the statue crown, right?"

"So Gilzillathulu unleashes her atomic fire breath--" Twilight began.

"Awesomic fire breath," Rainbow corrected.

"--on the viewing deck, and everyalien up there," Twilight continued. "Diva, Hungry, Wings, Bright, roll to dodge."

"Hey! Watch it, Gee!" Rainbow protested. "Sheesh. Nine. Yeah, I tumble out of the way and fly down the stairs. I try to reach the others."

"Friendly fire, Dash," Gilda chuckled.

"Ten! Successful dodge!" Pinkie cheered. "I'm just not where your fire is, Gilly. Me and the fire, we're through. That fire ain't my friend, see?"

"Drat, a four..." Rarity moaned. "Wait! I can add my ‘Get down and boogie' knack for a seven, and do a ‘Running Mare' out of danger."

"You're all safe, although the heat from the ato-- from the awesomic fire means you have to get out of there as soon as possible," Twilight declared. "Oh, wait. Trixie, what did you roll?"

"Sorry, Bright Light is too busy imagining all the magazine covers she'll appear on once the public finds out about her outrageous lifestyle," Trixie said. "She hasn't actually noticed the monster yet."

"...Okay, you take the full brunt of the blast," Twilight said. "Gilda, roll a die to determine damage."

"Five. Is that a lot?" Gilda asked. "I mean, I know you can't really kill anyone in this game, but my fire should be hot enough to melt down the statue, right?"

"You cause irreparable damage to a historical landmark, and Bright Light vanishes in the conflagration." Twilight paused for a moment. "Well, I say irreparable, but we all know it'll be back to normal the next week."

"I blame the writers," Discord said. "Talentless hacks, with no respect for continuity."

"Alright, ya weirdos, simmer down," Applejack said. "We got a big baddie who's wrecking the city an' tried ta roast our friends. An' Bright."

"Well, what should we do about it?" Discord asked. "Scream like badly dubbed neighponese extras? I think I missed my cue for that earlier."

"Hah! What can you do?" Gilda laughed. "I'm invincible! And awesome! Awesomely invincible! And invincibly awesome!"

"Oh, you just had to say that," Trixie mumbled. She smirked. "Bright Light steps out of the fire, covered in soot stains and with her clothes almost completely destroyed but for a few strategically placed shreds, but otherwise unharmed. Hey! Tall, dark and hideous! Eyes front!"

"Huh? Didn't I destroy you?" Gilda asked. "And can I even hear her from here?"

"Sadly, much like her player, Bright Light is very difficult to ignore," Rarity said. "She's got that kind of voice."

"And I've got an internal temperature of ten thousand degrees, you monumental eyesore," Trixie replied with a smug grin. "I've met fancolts whose body odor hurt more than your breath!"

"Rghh..." Gilda growled. "I guess I'll just have to crush you under my foot, then! You may be fireproof, but you're as tiny as a flea...and just as annoying!"

Trixie looked towards Twilight. "Twilight?"

Twilight nodded. "Go ahead."

"Yesss!" Trixie crooned. "Okay, I leap off the deck, and then as I fall, I...expand..."

"What the flying feather...?" Gilda hissed.

"Wait, she's got that power too?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Isn't that a cop out?"

"It's kind of the other way around, since she shrinks herself down to pony size," Trixie said. "She's just scaling herself back a few ticks, but nowhere near full size. Just about Gilly's size should do fine."

"And besides, Mane Agery could probably pull the same trick," Twilight added. "If she wanted to."

"I, uh, I'll stay out of it for now," Fluttershy said quickly. "Maybe if things get really bad..."

"Now who's tiny?" Trixie crowed. "You made a big mistake tonight, you stop-motion reject. I was going to get some--"

"In your dreams," Rarity muttered.

"--And you wrecked it! So now I'll have to wreck you!" Trixie declared.

Rainbow Dash nudged Gilda in the side. "So, you're about to have a giant monster one-on-one throwdown across Manehattan, against an opponent who's immune to half your arsenal and has an ego massive enough to make mountains look like molehills. Is this awesome enough for you?"

Gilda looked at her, and then at the leering Trixie. Then she grinned and cracked her knuckles. "Let's find out."

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Session 8.0 MtangaLion (addition at end by Ardashir)
Session 8.1 Richforce
Session 8.2 MtangaLion
Session 8.3 Kendell2
Session 8.4 Alex Warlorn
Session 8.5 Kendell2 (Note; the Comet Kingdom is a Composite of the Comet Empire and Zeon, so I imagine the mecha mentioned resembling one of Zeon's.Also, I intentionally misspelled Zonder as Zondor, because I couldn't think of another name for them that's different enough.)
Session 8.6 Clacksphob
Session 8.7 Alex Warlorn
Session 8.8 Kendell2
Session 8.9 SomeRandomMinion
Session 8.10 Ardashir with little bit on the end by Alex Warlorn
Session 8.11 Mooncalf99
Session 8.12 Mooncalf99
Session 8.13 SomeRandomMinion
Session 8.14 Mooncalf99

Cover art by Lightningtumble.

Session 9

Session 9.0 Kendell2

Applebloom blinked, the game in front of them not being what they'd expected Diamond to come up with as GM. "So what's the plot again, Diamond?"

"Everypony in the land is seeking and trying to define themselves and live life. It was a happy life until the evil Jewel Cutter begins her plan to take over and control the world with an iron fist," Diamond explained, smiling. "Her plan is to use a magic ring to force the king to fall in love with her so she can strip everyone of their freedom so she can micromanage everything just how she wanted it."

Applebloom, had this been the OLD Diamond Tiara, would've been the first to accuse her of making a self insert, but the Jewel Cutter's custom figure looked nothing like her (but she couldn't help thinking that it looked familiar) and Diamond wasn't like that anymore. "Sounds cool!"

"So we have to stop an evil overlord? Sounds cool!" Scootaloo exclaimed.

Sweetie Belle looked at the custom figures. "Did you make these yourself?"

Diamond Tiara smiled proudly and nodded. "Yes, yes I did...with help from Silver Spoon."

Silver Spoon gave a smile. "It was fun."

"Alright, let's start!"

It was a tense situation. Jewel Cutter had gotten her hooves on the enchanted ring but needed to get to the highest of the royal castle to put it on the king's hoof. She kept telling them how when she was done, the rich and poor couldn't be friends with each other, the three tribes would be back to themselves, and everything would be as orderly as possible.

Diamond wasn't an easy GM, but it was a lot more fair than before when she was still a bully and tried giving them sticks to fight with.

However, before they could get a bit further in the game to the final confrontation, the door flew open. "Diamond Dazzle Tiara!"

Diamond jumped a foot in the air. "M-Mother!"

Spoiled Rich glared at her daughter. "I thought I told you you weren't to be fraternizing with these blank flanks any more."

"..." Diamond looked down, suddenly looking a bit like a beaten dog.

"And playing...this? Have you no pride? You're a lady!" Spoiled said...then the others got between her and her daughter.

"Didn't Diamond already call you out?" Applebloom asked.

Spoiled's expression was one of conflict, but stubborn pride (Applebloom identified it as easily as breathing) won out. "Yes, but I'm an adult, that means I have the authority. Now come on Diamond, we have more proper lady-like things to do."

"Really?"

Before any of the foals could say another world, they turned to see Princess Twilight standing at the door. It WAS her castle after all and she'd checked in several times during their play. Spoiled promptly prostrated herself. "Princess Twilight, good to see you, your highness! I was just coming to collect my daughter!"

Twilight glared at Spoiled. "...Mrs. Rich, I respect a parent's right to raise their daughter how they see fit...but instead of verbally ripping your daughter's creation apart for WHAT it is, why don't you actually LOOK at it?"

Spoiled was many things, but defying somepony higher in rank than she was wasn't one of them. She looked over the game board and blinked at the hand made figured. She recognized many things, including a certain little black cat and her husband as king. "Diamond, did you make all of this?" she asked in shock.

Diamond Tiara nodded. "Silver helped...but yes...The ponies are trying to stop the Jewel Cutter from using a magic ring to force the king to marry her so she can take over the kingdom and take away everyponies' friends and freedom."

"Magic ring?"

Diamond Tiara pointed to the little castle on the board. "She's got it on her figure."

Spoiled trotted around the board...and looked at the evilly dressed figure of the Jewel Cutter standing on top of a castle. She picked it up...and noticed something.

Spoiled put a hoof to her crooked snout. She found the same molded into the tiny figure. It's fur the same exact color as her own. She carefully removed the helmet it wore and found the mane beneath was identical to hers.

She looked to the magic ring...then back to her own flank where an identical ring sat in her Cutie Mark. Her face looked like the moon had just fallen out of orbit.

"So...Jewel Cutter is the bad guy?" Spoiled Rich asked.

Diamond Tiara nodded somberly.

Spoiled gently sat Jewel Cutter back in place, hoof trembling.

Applebloom slowly looked up to Spoiled. "Mrs. Rich?...What's your Cutie Mark actually mean?"

Spoiled jumped. "...It...It means being a good wife...and helping others love each other as husband and wife...and being a good mother is part of that..."

Diamond Tiara gasped, noticing a tear running down her mother's face.

"I...I thought I was doing what my Cutie Mark was telling me..." Spoiled said, the mare's smug expression vanishing completely as she looked at the little statue of herself Diamond had cast as the main villain of her story.

"...You still can be," Sweetie Belle suggested, the trio's cutie marks weren't just for show after all.

Spoiled pulled up a chair and calmly sat down. "...So...how does the story end, Diamond?"

Session 9.1 Ardashir

"And I roll..." Sweetie blew on her dice for luck and rolled them. She and the other foals looked at the results and groaned. "Uh-oh."

"Hah!" Diamond Tiara laughed from across the table. "Looks like the Diamond Dogs caught you too!" The others waited as Sweetie picked up the plastic figurine of a white unicorn with a magnificent mane and tail and set her in 'the Mines'.

Silver Spoon toyed with her figure, a golden-coated Earth pony with a Stetson. She said to Sweetie, "Now you're going to have to sneak out like your big sister did a few years ago."

"Unless she gets a 'Heroic Dragon' card," Spike self-importantly added. "Then he can help rescue her." They'd barely been able to get the card away from him and stick it into the deck where it belonged. The fact that the illustrated dragon looked like a more majestic version of himself may have played a small role in it.

Twilight smiled to hear the laughter of the foals in the next room. She and her friends were talking over some recent business involving Griffonstone's reopening diplomacy with Equestria and if they could help. The CMC, Spike, and Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were playing the latest brainstorm of Poindexter and his friends, Escape the Diamond Dogs. She'd wondered why she and her friends were asked to playtest it until she saw it. It was basically a game retelling of Rarity's escape from the Diamond Dog mines, with the rest of her friends added in as extra 'escapees' or rescuers depending on the version of the game in question.

Thus far it seemed to be going well.

"Hah!" Apple Bloom called out. "Ah got a Cave Troll ta help us! He'll whack those stupid, smelly, ugly Diamond Dogs but good."

"Oh, dear," Fluttershy cut in. She winced to hear Apple Bloom describe the cartoonish violence the Cave Troll was inflicting on the Diamond Dogs. "Umm, I know the Diamond Dogs are very savage..."

"An' nasty," Applejack looked up from the apple she was eating.

"And smelly, and greedy," Rarity said. "They treated me so dreadfully, and what they tried to do to all of you!" She smiled coldly. "I find something poetic in the fact that a representation of me will be used to sell the game. In fact, I already helped them sell almost a hundred copies in Canterlot."

"Well, yes, there is all of that," Fluttershy nodded. "But maybe, this game is making them too nasty? Rainbow Dash, didn't you meet some nice Diamond Dogs?"

"Dunno if I'd call them nice," Dash shrugged. "Eh, they didn't try making slaves out of anypony. But they were going to keep Trixie trapped forever."

"Yes, but still, I wonder if it's really not very nice of us ponies to treat the Diamond Dogs like this, even if it's only in a game." Fluttershy looked at some recent books Twilight had set aside in the room. One of them bore an image of a wolfish Diamond Dog threatening little foals. It looked horrible, with big goggle eyes, drool-slick fangs, and great big claws. "I don't remember ever seeing a nice Diamond Dog in pony art."

As Fluttershy spoke Spike came strolling into the room, holding an empty bowl.

"Twi told me once that the Diamond Dog ambassador in Canterlot said his pack was getting tired of all the nasty Diamond Dog imagery," he said as he filled his bowl with a heaping helping of small diamonds, rubies, emeralds, and other too small to be valuable gemstones, none of them bigger than his little finger. He tossed three into the air, snaked out his tongue, and swallowed them. "But so what? Diamond Dogs are just now releasing all the ponies they kidnapped and used for slaves in their mines. They aren't the bosses of Equestria. What are they going to do, sue us?" He giggled. "Try and shackle us up to mine carts again?"

"Spike!" Twilight said warningly just as someone pounded on the front door.

Dreading what she would see, Twilight opened the door. On the stoop stood a Diamond Dog. One dressed in a suit and a tie, with finely groomed fur and a briefcase in one massive paw. On one side of him stood a bright green Earth pony stallion with a shark fin for a cutie mark.

The Diamond Dog stepped forward.

"Have I the honorrrr of addressin' her highness, Prrrrincess Twilight Sparkle?"

"You have," Twilight said, wondering just how much trouble they were in this time.

"Me crrrredentials, your highness," the Diamond Dog handed a card over. Twilight read it. Shamus of the of the Fleecem and Gougem Canterlot Law Firm, Attorney at Law. She looked back at him, her heart sinking within her.

"Me associate, Settled Suit," Shamus waved one paw at the pony, who nodded gravely, "and I have agrrrreed tae represent the Brrrroken Granite Pack, the Gypsum Good Pack, the United Rhysolite-Opal-Borax Packs, and many more, who have give me th' rrregretful duty tae inform ye that a lawsuit for libel, slander, and defamation o' character will be presented tae the Canterlot Courts if the game," he looked disgusted, "if it may be so dignified, 'Escape frae th' Diamond Dogs', is brought to mass printing. May I have your response tae these concerns?"

Twilight glared at Rarity. The unicorn mare grinned weakly and winced.

"Um, isn't everypony entitled to a few little, heh, boo-boos?"

Session 9.2 Grogar-the-oneser

"We're all quite lucky that the diamond dog clans decided to drop the lawsuit for a retribution fee and a mass recall of the game," Twilight said.

"Yes, but it also showed me the risk of it, that why I'm running a advance prescreening for any future game so that they will pass demographic tests and won't be offensive," Poindexter stated.

Twilight jumped as she heard loud bashing in the room next door. "WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT!?"

"Oh that Steve. He's the yak i hired to make sure the next game alright," Poindexter said,

"I'm assuming he is not enjoying the new game idea to replace the diamond dog one?"

"Actually he enjoyed the new game. That's actually him snoring after pulling a all nighter," Poindexter stated.

Session 9.3 Ardashir

"'Oh ho-ho-ho!' Jewel Cutter rears above you, holding her ring up for all to see. 'You foals! Do you think you can stop me? My plan will work! I will control the destinies of all Ponydom, forever!'" Diamond Tiara gave the CMC and Silver an expectant look.

"Fat chance!" Scootaloo said. "Uh, I mean, 'Never! Your wicked scheme will end here.'" She set her figure of a armored pegasus in front of the others, shielding them.

"Can we yank or shoot that ring from her grip with magic?" Silver Spoon looked down at her unicorn figure, painted pink and yellow.

"Sorry, but that'll have to wait until you get into combat. And she has those mind-controlled minions around her." Diamond pointed at her custom Jewel Cutter figure, with two hulking Cave Trolls protecting her.

"How did she even sneak them into the royal palace, anyhow?" Sweetie Belle asked before eating a snack. She kept a careful eye on her rogue figure, the gray-and-brown Earth pony hiding at the rear of the group.

"Well, I should make you figure it out," Diamond said, a sly grin on her face. "But she convinced the King that they'd make great exhibits for that new planned royal zoo."

"Can we just get on with it an' kick her flank already?" Apple Bloom winced before giving Spoiled Rich an apologetic smile. "Oh, sorry, Ms. Spoiled Rich..."

"It," Spoiled caught hold of herself as she looked at what her daughter and these other children were doing with their story here. "It's quite alright, dear. Though perhaps, Diamond," she lightly tousled her daughter's mane, "you could hurry with the story a bit. It will be suppertime in a couple of hours." She looked at the small pile of snacks, smaller now after several hours of gaming. "If you have any room left."

Spoiled stepped back to Princess Twilight as the fillies returned to their game.

"It's been so long since I've seen my daughter this happy," Spoiled Rich smiled as Diamond began speaking in her "villain" voice again, adding in an overdone malevolent laugh as she did. "I... thank you for stopping me from taking her from here, your highness." She frowned. "I do wonder where she got that laugh from, though. It sounds so maniacal."

"Oh, that?" Twilight grinned nervously and shifted from hoof to hoof. "She learned it from Discord -- nothing else happened, I swear!" Spoiled Rich calmed herself. Twilight added, "Strangest thing, but the few times they played together, they got on so very well. You would have thought they were related!"

Session 9.4 Jarkes

"So... why are you here if you're not actually playing or GM'ing?" Silver Spoon asked Pinkie Pie, who for some reason insisted on "observing" the current game. She was playing a game called "Last Myth", where the players took on various fantasy "job classes" and went on various quests, with Diamond Tiara and Scootaloo. Silver was playing as a Bard named Argent, Diamond was playing as a White Mage named Aurora, and Scootaloo was playing as a Dragoon named Panzer. Normally, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle were part of this game, as a Paladin and Black Mage respectively, but they could not make it to this session, so their characters were currently written as "being on another quest." Button Mash was the GM.

"Well, you're playing as a Bard, right? I want to see if your singing is as good as mine!" Pinkie Pie replied, smiling as if that answered everything.

"...Okay..." Silver Spoon got back to the game. "I roll for a Distraction in order to get the monsters away from the villagers." She rolled a 6 and started actually singing, which caused all ponies (and the one dragon) in the room to cringe. "I'm a distraction... Of pure satisfaction..."

"Your singing succeeds in distracting the monsters... a little too well," Button Mash said. "Turns out they're extremely sensitive to loud sound, and they found your singing so unpleasant that they attack you and the rest of your party members immediately. You get KO'ed instantly and Aurora has to start setting up a Revive spell."

"Again?" Diamond asked, sounding rather annoyed. "This is getting really old, Silver."

"Sorry, I can't help the fact that Bards naturally have lower defense and HP," Silver replied. She suddenly grinned. "I guess that makes me a... spoony bard!"

Silence.

Scootaloo facehoofed. "You decided to be a Bard in this session solely so you could make that joke, didn't you?"

"Yup!" Silver replied, beaming. She turned to Pinkie. "So how was my singing?"

"...Eh, it was all right," Pinkie replied.

Session 9.5 MtangaLion

In her bedroom at home, the fingers of Twilight's left hand danced over her computer keyboard, while her right hand moved the mouse. "Network connection?"

"Check!" said Spike the dog, tapping the icon on his tablet computer.

"Voice communication?"

Spike tapped his child-size headset microphone with a paw, then spoke into it. "Check!" echoed his voice in Twilight's headphones.

Twilight grinned and adjusted her angular glasses under the headphones. "Then our first official World of Horsecraft raid night is ready to begin!"

Invites to the raid group popped up on their screens as soon as they logged in. Shining and his friends had already gathered in the Ponyville town square, so Spike and Twilight trotted their characters out of the housing ward to join them.

"Hey, Twily," said Shining Armor's voice on the team chat. On Twilight's monitor, Gleaming Shield, his max level unicorn pony paladin, waved at her purple unicorn pony mage. "Got your attunements all done?"

"All set, BBBFF."

"I nearly didn't finish in time," grumbled Spike. His character was a violet earth pony mare with a green mane. "I can't believe I had to hunt all over that wasteland for Starswirl *three* times!"

"We've all been there," said Eight-Bit.

Point Dexter chimed in, "That's nothing. You used to have to do that whole thing with the dragon cave too."

"Before they nerfed it," grumbled Gaffer.

Spike's canine ears twitched under his headphones. "And... you're complaining about that?"

Rainbow Dash's character came trotting up to them... a blue pegasus with a rainbow-colored mane (a bonus option for beta testers which was no longer available). A brown and white pegasus with a purple mohawk accompanied her. "Hey, guys!" said Rainbow's voice on the team chat. "Mind if my old friend Gilda comes along? I caught up with her at the Extreme Skating Exhibition last week."

"Sup, dweebs?" said a gruff female voice.

"Fine by me," said Applejack's voice. She sighed for some reason. "If mah brother can get an invite too."

"I don't see why not," mused Shining. "With this flexible raid size tech, the more the merrier!"

[Orchard Blossom has connected] scrolled into the voice chat log. "Thank ya'll kindly! Ah do declare, Ah'm more excited about this game than a sow in a fancy silk emporium!"

AJ groaned. "Mac, Ah told you, ya don't have to talk in character!"

"Why, there's no need to get all snippy about it, sister dearest. Can Ah help it if playable characters can't be colts in this here game?"

Twilight coughed. "I heard that they're going to allow colts in the new Reins of Chaos expansion."

"And griffons!" put in Gilda, sounding excited. "I can't bucking wait to roll one of those!"

Fluttershy typed "And zebras," in the game's text chat, too shy to speak up on the voice chat. "Zebras sound nice."

"I kind of want to roll a colt," said Eight-Bit hesitantly. "But..."

"Yeah..." Shining sighed. "I already have this character leveled up and geared. If I switch, I'll fall behind!"

Pinkie Pie spoke up. "Maybe... Crystalsoft will let us pay them money to change the characters we have already!"

"More money on top of the subscription fee?" exclaimed Dash. "Ugh, don't give them ideas!"

"Guys, if everybody's here, then we should get started," said Shining. He pitched his voice down, trying to sound all dramatic. "The Nightmare Moon Friendship Challenge awaits!"

Session 9.6 Alex Warlorn (Welcome to the Darkest Dungeon.)

Meanwhile, in the pony world.

And of course Poindexster did need to Starlight Glimmer for details on the Mane Six's adventure in Our Town (mostly due to the others refusing to give any) . . . and... Glimmer might have given up on revenge, and was willing to give ponies with differences a try again... she hadn't exactly forgotten Fluttershy playing to her feelings to help save her friends.

And reformed or not, Glimmer still had some strong opinions about her work.

"Me hiding my cutie mark you see was due to being unable to remove my own cutie mark, and needing to prove others you see, an example of Plato's Noble Lie if you will," Starlight had told Poindexster.

The mane six and Spike, and only the mane six and Spike gathered around the cutie mark map.

"Okay girls, time to play another of my brother's games. Poindexster said that to get the full experience, the adventure party should be composed of four players, no more, no less, and the players should go into the setting with bare minimum information."

"Four?" Rainbow Dash asked, contrary to popular opinion, she could count.

"I'm sure she won't mind if we went bend the rules a little," Rarity said.

The girls knew how big a stickler Twilight was for the rules... but it felt unfair that some of them would be left out. And why would they design a game they knew that they couldn't all play together?

Twilight floated an information package to each of her friends.

There were a whooping fourteen character classes to choose from. But most of them seemed rather... odd.

"A-Abomination?"

"Arbalest? What's that?"

"Bounty Hunter? Cool."

"Crusader... You've got to be kidding me."

"Grave Robber?!"

"What the heck's a Hellion?"

"Highwaymare."

"Hound Master. Oh that sounds nice."

"Jester. Well know what I'm playing as!"

"Leper... is that a kind of jumping pony?"

"Stallion-at-Arms. That's a soldier or something right?"

"Occultist."

"Plague Doctor, really?"

"And... a Vestal? Can somepony get a dictionary?"

A few minutes later looking up various terms.

"Also, it explicitly warned that the cutie mark crusaders were not to play it under any circumstances." Twilight said.

Rainbow Dash laughed. "Probably worried that they'll wreck the campaign setting!"

"Uh." AJ asked worried. "Is this one of your big brother's military campaign games again?"

"No," Twilight said firmly.

"Good!" Rainbow Dash crossed her arms, "I'm sick of having my characters machine gunned to pieces."

"But... Poindexster did say that he imagined Princess Luna would be the perfect and ideal Dungeon Master for this game."

Rarity asked. "Uh dear, please tell us the Princess realized that she had far more important royal duties than to host a silly game."

Rarity remembered firmly how many characters they all had to roll up before any of them survived to adulthood due to ancient diseases... on the plus side it made Rarity appreciate modern medicine more.

"Don't worry... I mean, sorry, I asked Princess Luna, but she said she was too busy this time to Dungeon Master." Twilight wilted a bit. "But she said she's eager to DM again."

The mare groaned.

In the end, Pinkie Pie choose Jester (to no one's surprise).

Rainbow Dash chose Bounty Hunter.

And Fluttershy, chose Hound Master.

"Dang! Ah wanted to be that one!" Applejack cursed.

"Oh my! It's okay Applejack! I can play something else."

"No no no. Don't ya DARE! I'll go with Crusader."

"Too bad, the Abomination looks perfect for you Fluttershy," Pinkie Pie said, then showing her growth added quickly. "I mean, they're meek and small most of the time, then become super tough according to this!"

"Uh... thank you?"

Rarity chose Vestal. "I'm a lady of PURITY! After all."

"If I switch out with you girls, I'll be playing as an Occultist," Twilight said. Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn. She heard distantly and shuddered. "Just the wind," she said to herself over and over.

"So what did Spike choose?" Rainbow asked.

"I'm thinking Stallion-At-Arms or Abomination if I get the chance."

"Huh?" THe girls responded confused.

"Oh Spike is Dungeon Mastering, I'll be playing The Heir, suffice to say, I'm your commander, manager, and employer, and proprietor. It's my job to manage you, to make sure you stay... adventuring fit between runs, decide which missions to tackle, and how resources are spent. I also have an indirect link to you in the dungeon so I know what's going on even if I can't physically act."

Next came picking out their abilities from the skill pool, this was silent enough, but it kept mentioning, 'stress damage'... something Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie were to invest in the healing off, the others were sure they could handle it.

Then they had to pick one quirk and one flaw...

"You'll gain others based on your choices and what you encounter in the dungeon. Your characters are like living creatures, they'll change and grow based on their experiences." Twilight explained.

But what gave them pause... was the size of them and the ... oddity of them.

"Hatred of ponykind is a POSITIVE?" Rarity gasped.

"It just means you give extra damage to equine enemies." Twilight explained.

"Oh. I see."

"What's necrophilia?" Pinkie Pie asked looking down the list.

None was sure how to answer that.

A few minutes later, the ponies had their figurines out, and the dark and rather creepy looking forest map along with a prop up a rather decayed and dismay village that looked rather like Sunny Town in its true form.

"Now there's supposed to be a small tutorial section that-" Spike began.

"Tutorial smuck-orial! We're not newbies! Let's skip to the meat of it!" Rainbow Dash declared.

The girls gave her all death glares.

"As you wish...." Spike grinned. "So! You have all received an offer of employment! Promising redemption, wealth, and excitement! Or a place to be forgotten in. After traveling by couch on a madly twisting road where you swear you see the faint glimmer of ghosts, and no, you can't attack them, sorry, you arrive at your destination. The couchman reveals he is also the care taker. And greets you:

"'How wonderful! Another new batch of adventurers to Darkest Estate!'" Cackled Spike with a ghoulish grin on his face.

"'Another' new batch?... " AJ asked.

"'Darkest Estate?'" Fluttershy shuddered.

"'Oh don't let the name fool you, we're more like a Hamlet, the Estate, or what used to be to it, is up there.' He points at a rotted hollowed out giant manor on the top of a large cliffed hill overlooking the sea.'"

The girls took a closer look at the cardboard prop up. There was a run down inn, a blacksmith shop, a church, a training hall, a graveyard and a sanitarium!

"'You girls also feel a distant, ominous, omiforce around you, one that speaks to you.'!"

"HELLO!" Twilight said. "I'm SURE you'll do much better than the last group! I am your employer, and welcome to Darkest Estate!"

"WHAT last group?" AJ asked.

"Right there..." Twilight pointed at the picture of the graveyard.

"Ha ha, not scaring us Twilight." Rainbow said.

"Speak for yourself darling," Rarity said.

"We sadly don't have funds yet for most of the services we hope to restore to the town," Twilight said. "But with your help and my organization I'm sure we can do it. And if not you, your successors. Please ignore the blood stains on the cots and any used equipment and provisions."

"Ah have a bad feelin' 'bout this," AJ said.

"Our FIRST order of business is to retrieve a set of family heir looms from the manor. Not the TRUE manor of course... but close enough... Now then, let's see about buying you provisions..."

A few minutes later.

"Uh... what's with the magic light thingie?" AJ pointed at the candle at the top of Spike's DM screen.

"Oh that's simple, the darker it gets, the more stress you take, and the stronger the monsters become, and the harder the traps are to spot, but also the monsters give better loot."

"That last part sounds about normal at least," Rainbow rolled her eyes.

A few minutes later:

"Take THAT ya thievin' scum bags!" AJ's crusader said, slaying the bandit in front. "Now let's get the big guy!"

"Actually, since the corridors are so narrow, his corpse is in the way." Spike said.

"His corpse?! How is that fair?!" Rainbow snorted.

A few minutes later...

"MORE zombies?!"

"Lit another torch!"

"There aren't anymore!"

"Is THAT a giant zombie?"

"Oh no. It's something MUCH worse."

Another few minutes later...

"AGH! I can't take this anymore!" Rainbow Dash said, her bounty hunter bleeding and blighted and they were out of bandages.

"And neither can your character." Spike rolled the dice. "You bounty hunter stress hit 100, and that means," Spike rolled again. "Is now Fearful Rainbow Dash."

"Say WHAT?"

"You now scared for your life and self preservation is what matters most to you right now."

"Don't worry Dashie! I'll sing your back to sanity!" Pinkie Pie cheered.

"Pinkie Pie the cultist summons a tentacles and slams, you, you're stunned for this round, and you're pulled closer and out of party order and you switch places with Rainbow, which isn't so bad since she's so scared she'd have likely gone there anyway."

Next Applejack's Crusader came down with paranoia and was convinced even her own teammates were out to get her and refused to be healed.

Ironically, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie's combined stress heal efforts (her wolf/hound howling and Pinkie Pie's music) actually snapped Rainbow Dash's bounty hunter back to sanity when her stress level hit zero.

But at this point... half of them were at death's door.

In the end... Applejack's Crusader, quite crazy, and telling the other how they were out to get her... fell...

"So how do Ah get raised."

"Oh silly Applejack, death is permanent in this game, I thought the graveyard was a big enough clue."

"SAY WHAT?! That's it! My big brother is a crusader too and he's coming here to avenge me!"

"Uh... that in or out of character darling?" Rarity asked.

"Well, the good news is that you've retrieved enough of my family heir looms that I can open up the sanitarium again... you get to be their first new patients... don't worry, a week or two and you'll be sane enough for me to send you into the dungeon again. In the mean time, you can roll up the secondary team of heroes who can fill in for you while you recover..."

"WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED AT THIS PLACE?!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

Spike said. "Oh, the Heir's Ancestor, bored of luxury and decadence, turned to magic and science experiments, creating unholy horrors, before unlocking a portal underneath the deepest foundations of the family manor to the Outer God's domain, then sent word to his Heir to clean up his mess for him before shooting himself, but his ghost still haunts the place and the Heir can't leave either. Oh, there's a nice narrative enchantment, but Shining's boys are still writing most of it."

"Incredible, another band of heroes enters, but this band returns... more or less... is this the beginning of this thing called hope? Or is it a pipe dream?" A voice rang out from the game.

"Somehow... that's STILL less horrible than that WarPonies horseapples... and somehow STILL less nasty than yer brother's army stuff."

The death glares the others gave Applejack (except Fluttershy who was hiding under her chair and whimpering curled up into a ball... until her stress hit 100, and Spike said instead of going crazy, her character became heroic and saved what was left of the party from certain doom), they did NOT agree with her sentiment.

(Welcome to the Darkest Dungeon.)

Session 9.7 Ardashir (OOC: My apologies to anyone who ever played WoW and to :iconmtangalion: for using a little of the dialogue he wrote. Maybe someone else can finish this raid!)

"Okay, so here we all are -- wait." Twilight said. "Aren't we missing a few ponies? RisingSun and that new one she wanted to bring in?"

"THE NEW PONY HAS ARRIVED, FRIENDS!"

Everyone jumped as 'they' turned to face both a red and yellow unicorn, and beside her a Prussian blue pegasus.

"Sunset?" Twilight said to the new unicorn. "Good to see you, but," she typed the next words to her, privately. "Who's the newbie, and why is she so... well, so 'Brian Blessed'?"

"Oh! Ah..." Sunset looked at her 'associate', who was already talking excitedly with the other players. "She, well, you know how I was 'privately tutored' as a foal, er, child. She's the younger sister of my tutor. Call her Moonlight and she'll be happy."

"Amazing, this 'virtual reality'!" Moonlight said as she circled the other players. Gleaming Shield and Orchard Blossom seemed a little nervous under her piercing gaze. "It reminds me most well of Equestria er, I mean," she seemed to read a message Sunset frantically set her, "the lands shown in the game art."

"Does she know what she's doing?" Twilight called up her list of gear and enhancements and double-checked it. She said, "I don't mind showing some new player the ropes, but we've been planning this raid for a while."

"She knows enough," Sunset checked her own gear. They began walking up to the group, Sunset still speaking on the voice link. "I ran her through some simple raids myself. And she really wants to defeat Nightmare Moon."

"Who doesn't?" Poindexter said. He failed to notice Moonlight behind him as he said, "She's only the nastiest, meanest, ugliest villain in the game thus far..."

"UGLY?!?" Poindexter almost jumped out of his electronic skin as Moonlight roared behind him, "Foul as the Nightmare was, she shared in my own radiant beauty -- I mean! She is proof that villainy can hide behind a fair face!"

The rest of the group, all save Sunset, looked at her in confusion. Sunset seemed to be making choking sounds over the voice connection.

"...Okay," Gleaming Shield said. "We don't have all night, so better get going."

They turned and set off, with Sunset staying behind for a moment with Moonlight.

"Princess Luna, please," she pleaded. "I didn't even know we could rig a connection between Equestria and the internet using the mirror gate! These people think you, I mean Nightmare Moon, is some imaginary character! Please try to be unobtrusive!"

"Fear not!" Moonlight/Princess Luna said in a regal tone. "I shall don the cloak of utter humility this night, and display no knowledge a true Princess of Equestria would not possess!" She strode off after the EG-world Twilight and Spike's pony avatars, only to snort in disdain at the sight of Canterlot on the side of Mount Epona in the distance. They stared in confusion as she spoke. "What! Canterlot is fully a mile lower upon the slopes in reality! And such towers as those couldst never support their own weight! Have these game designers no knowledge of our word whatever?"

Sunset swallowed a lump in her throat and followed her, wondering just how insane this would get before it ended.

They soon meet Nightmare Moon at the Ponyville Town Hall, and:

"I did NOT wear a cape! Or threaten to eat foals!" Moonlight looked around at everyone in the game. "I mean, she should not! It is a jest in most poor taste."

"Uhh, okay," Rainbow Dash typed a message to Twilight and Sunset. "Either of you getting a funny vibe from the new kid?"

"Heh!" Sunset typed back as fast as she could. They could see Moonlight beujind her, speaking to the Guardsponies and getting the canned response. "Moonlight's just a little, er, intense. She''s really nice once you get to know her!"

"My sister, I mean, Celestia refuses to lend the aid of some of her Royal Guards to this quest?" Moonlight walked back over to them, ears pinned. "How didst she EVER defeat my darker self?"

'Sunset...' Twilight typed her a private message.

'Just a little longer, it'll work.' Sunset responded.

They met the Nightmare's first group of flunkies in the Everfree. A score of fierce Shadwobolts and Eternal Night Cultists confronted them. Gleaming Shield swiftly laid down battle plans.

"Okay, Dash, you and Gilda are our best front-line fighters, so you keep them busy while AJ and Big Mac..."

"A-HEM!"

"Beg pardon," Gleaming Shield nodded, "while AJ and Orchard Blossom use their speed to take them from the side. Twilight, you and Sunset lock their wizards down, okay?"

"Will do, BBBFF!" She typed to Fluttershy. "Fluttershy, maybe you could help cover us? That special 'Stare' of yours seems to make everyone back down."

"And we could really use your help," Sunset added.

"Okay," Fluttershy typed back, her soft voice somehow coming through even online.

"Poindexter, Gaffer, and Eight-Bit are with me, we'll be backing up either Dash or AJ depending on who needs it, and Moonlight..." They looked and saw where she was. "AHHH! MOONLIGHT! NO 'LEEROY JENKINS' TACTICS!"

Moonlight frowned at the gathered enemies as she walked closer. Far too close.

"I see! Our foes are twenty battle-hardened warriors and wizards, but I should possess an army of Shadowbolts and cultists! But... why do I not send them into battle all at once, instead of four at a time?" She looked at the rest of the group. "Does the maker of this game know aught at all about true battlefield tactics?"

The assembled enemies seemed to blink as though in recognition of the fact before they all charged Moonlight at once.

"Oh for -!" Gleaming Shield counter-charged, the rest of 'her' herd behind her. "Save her! Now!"

Session 9.8 BrutalityInc

"Nope. We ain't touchin' this." Applebloom declared.

"Why not? It's just a boardgame." Scootaloo asked, confused.

"Yep, it's just a boardgame... a board-game that just appeared one day in our treehouse withou' any foreword or warnin'. Sounds mighty mysterious, doesn't it?"

"I have to agree with Applebloom. It just sounds too suspicious." Sweetie Belle. "Besides, do you remember what happened the last time we played a mysterious board-game."

"Yes yes, we got blasted into outer space in our tree-house and went on an epic board-game propelled interplanetary adventure." Scootallo recalled. "It was fun when it wasn't scary with alien monsters and meteor storms. But golly did Princess Twilight and your sisters ran their mouths off when we got back, lecturing about not mucking about with mysterious supernatural board-games."

"Ah guess that's lesson learnt" Applebloom concluded, "Ah do wish we could keep that killer robot. It was nice after we reprogrammed it. Mah family could use extra help at teh farm."

"So what do we do with this game? Do we just bin it?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Nah, too risky. We put it anywhere near other ponies and it'll only be a matter of time before it finds its way to someone else, and then it'll be trouble." Rubbing her chin, Applebloom thought deeply before hitting an idea, "I know! Let's give this to Zecora fer safe-keeping! If she could keep the Alicorn Amulet from doing harm, there's no way any-pony could get the board-game."

"Yeah! And besides, we have learnt the hard way that you would have to be a complete imbecile if you decide to touch all the dangerous mysterious stuff she has in her Everfree hut without her supervision." Scootaloo added, "Who else could be that dumb?"

= = =

"Hey, Snails, any luck on getting that Amulet?" Snip asked the tall lanky unicorn he called friend, the latter attempting to reach jar which they knew Zecora hid the cursed artifact.

"No luck there; she put it too high up on the cupboard. And my magic still ain't good enough to reach it." Snails sighed as he climbed down the stool, "Besides, what's the point? Remember how that thing made Trixie so mean and nasty to us and Ponyville? Let's go home before Zecora comes back and find us sneaking about in her hut."

"Oh come on! It took us that much trouble to break in, we couldn't just leave without... er... 'borrowing' something to have fun with." Snip looked around the hut for something to snag, when he noticed something covered underneath some blankets. When he took them off... "Hey, what's this?"

Upon the desk, illuminated under herbal candle light, was the Jumanji board-game. It sat there almost expectantly, as if slumbering, waiting for the day when some-pony would awaken it, and begin the game once more.

Session 9.9 Grogar-the-oneser

"APPLEBLOOM!!!" Applejack snapped.

"Sis, Ah know what yer thinkin', but Ah can tell ya with a completely straight face that we had NOTHING to do with it this time," Applebloom said as a stampede of every creature rampage through town.

Meanwhile across town.

"Well on one hoof I am turning to a monkey creature, on the other hand it kinda neat to have these fingers. No wonder Spike's so happy with his claws," Snips said.

"Ahh, how come you get that and I got quicksand," Snail said annoyed as they were sitting on the table.

Session 9.10 Brutality Inc

"I still can't believe we're playing an adventure campaign with Daring Do herself, based on one of her adventures!" Rainbow Dash positively squeed, ignoring the annoyed groan coming from the teal-colored, hat-cloak-and-shade dressed pegasus sitting in front of her, "But why is HE here?" Rainbow pointed to the bearded and snappily-dressed earth-pony sitting next to A.K. Yearling/Daring Do, "I thought he works with Ahuizotl."

"Contrary to popular belief by her readers, my only loyalty is to the highest bidder who could buy the precious artifacts I can sell." Dr Caballeron explained, taking a sip from a drink. "Do remember that I was willing to sell her the ring instead of that old jungle monster in our previous encounter. Not to mention, we had occasionally find ourselves needing to work together as partners to a common goal before. Isn't that right, Ms Do?"

"Yearling." The adventure-archaeologist corrected, "And we're NOT partners on those occasions. Our interests merely align, temporarily."

"Are you two actually secretly dating?" Rainbow teased, recalling the theories of Daring Do fan-shippers.

"NO!" Both ponies declared, with emphatic finality.

"Back to Rainbow's original question, why exactly are you here playing a game with us?" Princess Twilight, the DM, questioned.

"Well, who says a gentlestallion adventurer cannot have hobbies outside the area of expertise? I play tabletop with my employees in between heists - I mean, digs." Dr Caballeron looked at the polished Crystalline walls of the palace around him, "I must say, if I knew things like this was at the old Palace of the Royal Sisters, I would had dug around at it years ago!"

"Don't get any ideas now." Princess Twilight warned.

"The Equestrian government occasionally looked the other way from his activities in exchange for insider information of the illicit artifact smuggling business in Equestria." A.K Yearling explained to Rainbow Dash on the side, "Equestria had a VERY long history; there's so many mysterious ruins and treasures lying around buried in other ponies' backyards it's too hard to keep track of all of them. Sometimes cutting a deal with crooks like Caballeron is the only way to know dangerous cursed artifacts like the Rings of Destiny even exists, and to make sure they don't fall into the claws of worse folks like Ahuizotl."

= = =

Dice rolled, and Princess Twilight saw the results, "15. Subtracting 3 due to the blizzard but plus 4 due to Rainbow Dash's 'Marksmare Perk', her crossbow bolt hits the Frost Troll on the head. It falls over dead."

"This can't be right." Daring Do interjected.

"What do you mean? It was a perfect shot!" Rainbow protested.

"Not that. I know from experience that Frost Trolls are usually more resilient than this; their hides are so tough and bones are so dense that they could probably shrug off a cannonball to the face. At worse, all those arrows and bolts would just piss them off."

"And the worse part is, those three-eyed ape freaks can regenerate any wounds you give them, unless you keep hitting them with overwhelming force." Dr Caballeron added, "The reason why they are so feared, besides being strong enough to break boulders, was that no-pony would be able to put them down quickly enough. Only reliable way to get them is to set them on fire, and that's assuming that the fires burn long enough that high up in the mountains, and even then it could still live long enough to tear you to shreds."

"Fascinating!" Twilight was jotting notes down even as they speak. "So how did you dealt with that Frost Troll in your book 'Daring Do and the Crystal Mountain Shrine'? You were quite vague about how you dealt with it."

"I lured the persistent cretin to the Crystal Mountain Shrine and let one of the shrine's defense mechanism do the work. It got crushed to paste." Daring Do revealed, "The reason why it was censored out of the book was because the editors thought it was too gruesome to publish."

Rainbow Dash shuddered; it seems sometimes fiction pale in comparison to reality, after all. "And... if the shrine's death traps could deal with it so easily, just what kind of gauntlet are we going to be running into when we get into the shrine proper? We're playing the campaign module based on that book now!"

"It's probably not as bad as you think. The game developers told me that they toned down the deadliness of the shrine a bit to make it actually playable." A.K. Yearling said casually, "They only kept 20 of the 200 interlocking death-traps, for example, and nerfed the Crystal Golems..."

Session 9.11 MtangaLion

"I have a good feeling about tonight!" said Gleaming Shield. "This week, we're finally going to get Nightmare Moon down." She bashed another Nightmare Cultist with her shield, stunning her so Rainbow and Gilda could finish her off.

[The Nightmare Cultist was never heard from again. You find 60 bits.]

"I must confess," said 'Moonlight.' Princess Luna's character shrugged... she'd finally gotten used to typing emotes, instead of expecting the magic to do everything automatically. "Even after these two months of twice weekly 'progress' and camaraderie, many aspects of this fantasy world still perplex us. For instance, Nightmare Moon has already defeated us thirty-seven times, and yet we are permitted to run back into the castle and come alive again after each attempt. Villains, on the other hoof, are only permitted to resurrect themselves once each week."

Twilight chuckled. "Let me guess, this is your first MMO. That's just how these games work."

Sunset put in, "Think about it this way. Imagine if you started playing the game, but there was nothing to do because some other bunch of adventurers saved Equestria already."

"But this chaos of heroes and villains ever coming back to life," grumbled Moonlight. "It is as though Discord created it himself!"

"Well, it can't be Discord," said Eight-Bit. "He doesn't even show up until the expansion. Unless... this is all foreshadowing. Whoa, that's really meta!"

"Ah think yer overthinking this just a tad," said Applejack. She turned and bucked the throne room doors open. "AFK while Nightmare Chatty-Pants does her speech!"

Soft, mysterious organ music started playing, while inky-black mists swarmed into the throne room and took the shape of Nightmare Moon herself. "You still believe that you can defeat me? You little FOALS! You will never see your princess or your precious sun again!"

Moonlight sighed. "Certainly, this part was more exciting the first time."

"I still wish there was a way to peacefully talk this over," said Fluttershy. She used her animal handler abilities to summon her giant bear and fierce rabbit pets, and readied her healing salves. "But I guess sometimes there's a meanypants that just won't listen to reason, and a woman... I mean, a mare has to do what a mare has to do!"

Pinkie Pie laid out a stat-buffing feast. "Flutters, have you been doing quests for that minotaur again?"

Fluttershy smiled sheepishly... the /bashful emote was her favorite.

"Shadowbolt Captains, to me!" shouted Nightmare Moon, still following her script. "Your Princess commands you!" Three big, scary batponies in matching armor flew down and posed around her... There was a great fwoomp as the camera zoomed in suddenly.

[NIGHTMARE MOON]
[The Eternal Night]

Then the villains all stood in place, waiting for the players to engage.

"Okay!" said Gleaming, after a quick ready-check. His/her group of roleplaying buddies, Twilight's friends, and Princess Twilight's group... all responded ready to go! "Everybody knows what to do... no, Point Dexter, I'm not going over the whole strat again. Pulling in three, two, one..." She threw her shield and charged, catching it when it magically bounced back to her.

"So be it," said Nightmare Moon. The organ music sped up, and a rock guitar joined in. "The beauty and terror of my night will be the last light you see!"

The Shadows Bolts charged their wingblades and came at them, making random sweeping slashes, while Gleaming Shield tanked Nightmare Moon, deflecting the powerful strikes of her silver mailed hooves. Fluttershy, Rarity, and Eight-Bit threw a steady stream of heals while conserving their mana. The other players dodged the Shadow Bolts as best they could while throwing attack spells and stabbing at the fallen princess. Nightmare Moon suffered no visible damage, but her health bar dropped steadily.

Nightmare Moon laughed wickedly. "You're kidding. You're kidding, right? Enough of these games... deal with them!" She flew high in the air while the Shadowbolts filled the room with elemental attacks... slowly moving tornadoes, a huge sleet storm that rotated around the room, and giant ice comets. Glowing orange lines on the floor marked where the attack would strike in advance... otherwise, it might have been hopeless trying to dodge it all.

"Phase two!" shouted Gleaming. "Air team one, go!" Dash and Gilda fought one of the Shadowbolts in the air until their wings got too icy, and Moonlight and Princess took their place.

One by one, the Captains fell. A earthquake shook the throne room, and five hidden pedestals rose from the floor, each bearing a different colored orb. Nightmare Moon returned, clearly furious. "The Elements of Harmony will not strike me down a second time." Powerful bursts of magic shot from her horn, striking each of the orbs. "Gone is the dawn. Come shades of twilight! Come madness! Come Havoc! Come infinite night!"

"Phase three!" shouted Gleaming. "Keep it together, guys!" New adds were spawning, one from each orb, one by one... Spirit of Deceit... Spirit of Anger... Spirit of Betrayal... Spirit of Greed... Spirit of Cruelty... while Nightmare Moon started attacking Gleaming again, mixing lances of blinding moonlight and lunar flares with her melee attacks.

One by one, the malevolent spirits went down, each releasing a different colored light that infused the closest pony, giving them a stat boost and a special ability. Often, Gleaming had only a sliver of health left before the next heal landed, and Sunset and Gilda actually fell in battle and needed to be quickly revived... but unlike the all the previous nights, the fifth spirit went down, and they were still in the fight!

"Oh my gosh, phase four!" said Rainbow Dash. "Yes, yes!"

"ENOUGH!" bellowed Nightmare Moon. She flew into the air, and a huge phantasmal full moon appeared shining above her. "I am Nightmare Moon. I AM THE NIGHT! And my night... will last... forever!" One more add spawned, the Spirit of Tragedy.

[Charging Total Eclipse!! 30... 29... 28...]

"Give it everything you've got!" yelled Gleaming. "Go, go, go!" They slashed and blasted, popping every cooldown they had left.

[5... 4... 3...]

And then the Spirit of Tragedy fell. The purified magic flew right past Gleaming, Twilight, and Princess... and merged with Moonlight, to her great surprise, but no one heard her exclamation with all the cheering and shouting on the team chat. The six infused ponies floated into the air, eyes glowing... the rainbow of harmony was unleashed...

[Nightmare Moon has been defeated!]

The sun rose, and Princess Celestia flew in, landing beside her restored sister... and several ponies rushed right past the touching reunion to open the blue and silver loot chest.

"I roll Need on the Moon Guard!" said Gleaming.

"What is this crap?" grumbled Gilda. "She didn't drop the Umbra Sword."

"SILENCE!" bellowed Moonlight, somehow managing to blow out a few speakers in the human world. "I'm watching the cutscene."

After that, everyone was happy to celebrate a little more quietly.

Session 9.12 MtangaLion

Meanwhile, in the executive boardroom of Crystalsoft, President Sombra nodded gravely. He was elegant as always, dressed in a charcoal grey suit with a scarlet tie and a crystal lapel pin, even if it was just for an internal preview of the media blitz for World of Horsecraft's first expansion pack.

"Reins of Chaos," he mused in his deep voice. "Reins... that's not misspelled, is it?"

"Certainly not, sir!" said a slightly flustered Chrysalis, Vice President in charge of Role Playing Games. "I checked it twice."

Sombra lifted an eyebrow. "Ah, it's one of those," he said, waving a hand dismissively. "It should go over well with the bad horse pun demographic."

No one needed to know that Sombra now spent more time playing said game than pretending to fill out spreadsheets and write mission statements. Or that he hadn't opened his desktop golf simulator in months, or that his unicorn pony shadowmage was a member of one of the highest ranked Royal Academy PvP teams... without cheating! (He was very proud of that.) Yes, no one needed to know, not Chrysalis or his employees, and certainly not his wife.

Sombra leaned towards one of the displays, frowning. "Confront the Lord of Chaos, Discord... Discord, Discord... Discord?!!" He spun around, clenching both fists. "You let the lead developer name our next major villain after HIMSELF? What on earth were you thinking? I want a villain named after me too!" He flinched at his slip-up, wondering how many witnesses he'd have to eliminate.

Chrysalis sniffed haughtily, folding her arms. "Too bad. I already called dibs on the second expansion..."

Sombra growled, grinding his teeth. Interns and middle managers starting diving under the tables.

"... but perhaps we could share!"

Session 9.13 Mooncalf99

Spike was perfectly aware that Twilight's "Teenage Ponies From Outer Space" campaign was weird, even by most game standards. Still, Twilight had agreed to let him co-GM, and he took his duties seriously. So he'd play along, do what Twilight would do, and give it his best.

He wasn't expecting to be seated with half the party in the kitchen, but Pinkie had claimed that split-party shenanigans required separate rooms. He suspected she just wanted an excuse to raid his cinnamon crisp jar. She, along with Gilda, Rainbow Dash and Trixie clustered around the small table.

"So let me get this straight," he said carefully. "You want to steal a flying saucer, combine it with a magic chariot, install a… a what?"

"The Mark 86 Patho-Fusion Overthruster," Rainbow Dash said, reading from their notes. "Emotion-powered engine thingy. We stole it from the changeling hive earlier, remember?"

"I thought the MiB took that into custody?" Spike said.

"They took something into custody," Trixie said with a smirk. She hoofbumped Pinkie.

"And then we fly it to the Horsehead Nebula, super fast," Gilda continued. She turned to Rainbow Dash. "You sure you can fly it with your…" She snickered. "With your fear of heights? Cuz I'm probably awesome enough to do it for you."

"I told you, I'm fine!" Rainbow replied. "Piloting is my thing, okay? Anyway, the penalties aren't so bad when we're in space. Still, I should ask Twilight if I can fix that some way."

"I thought App… I mean, Crimson Tape was going to, quote, ‘set your brain straight' end quote with that thing of hers?" Pinkie asked curiously.

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well, there's no way I was going to stick my head into her… what was it called? ‘Psychonautic Cortex-Meme Harvester'? That thing. Twilight was grinning far too much when Applejack described it. I'm all for doing stupid things, but even I have limits."

"Okay, so what are you planning to do when you get to the Horsehead Nebula?" Spike asked.

"Party!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"No, no, no!" Trixie protested. Seeing Pinkie's frown, she relented. "Okay, we'll have a party with whatever alien species we find there, but then we carry on with the original mission: finding the fifth-dimensional quantum raven!"

The table fell silent.

"Okay, you didn't mention this before," Rainbow said. "Are we seriously going across half the known universe to look for some bird?"

"Not just any bird," Trixie said dramatically. "The rarest bird in the entire universe. So rare, xenobiologists believe it is a living paradox whose existence is proof of its own non-existence, and can only be sustained in five branes out of a million."

"Where did you hear this?" Rainbow asked.

"Xenobiology class," Trixie said dismissively.

"Don't we usually skip classes with more than five syllables in the name?" Rainbow asked.

"Irrelevant," Trixie said, waving her hoof. "The important fact is that it is incredibly rare and has a cool name, so it will be a wonderful pet for Bright Light. And even more importantly, it will entice Mane Agery. She will stop hanging around Random Act and be my girlfriend instead."

Another silence.

"So this whole deal's just so you can hook up with Fluttershy's character?" Gilda asked incredulously. "Seriously, that's… I didn't know you swung that way, either."

"What, you missed the bit where she tried to suck face with the Diva?" Pinkie asked. Spike's eyes narrowed at the mention.

Trixie rolled her eyes. "It's just a game, featherbrains. Besides, it's for popularity. Mane Agery clearly has that cute ‘moe moe' thing going, and will be the perfect hoof candy. It will make me the most popular girl in school, and be a huge boost for my rockstar idol career."

"I'm still in on that, right?" Gilda interjected. "Being in a band is definitely awesome, so that should help my hatching cycle."

"Yeah, and that's definitely a good thing," Spike muttered sarcastically.

"Sure. You can play the drums," Trixie said.

"Aw, I wanted to rock the guitar," Gilda protested.

"Well, you can't," Trixie retorted sharply. "Bright Light is the guitarist and the singer."

"But the guitarist gets the chicks," Rainbow said. Hastily she added, "I've heard. Anyway, can you even play the drums?"

"It's drums," Gilda snorted. "You hit them with sticks. That's not hard. Yeah, okay, drums are cool. Drummers are cool. I can do that."

"So, getting back on track… you're still going on the intergalactic pet hunt?" Spike asked.

"I think it's a great idea!" Starlight exclaimed enthusiastically. "It's just the kind of crazy and reckless act to prove how much you care for your friends!"

"Wha… where did you come from?" Spike asked in bafflement.

"I'm sneaky like that," Starlight said proudly. She waved her black mask. "I decided Ra would want to get in on your scheme, while Lib stays with the others."

"That's going to make it really complicated…" Spike began. But Twilight would run with it and make it work, wouldn't she? "Okay, I'll allow it. Now, what do you do first?"

Meanwhile in the map room…

"You seem to be having a conspicuously peaceful day in the cafeteria today," Twilight announced. "Calm and quiet."

"I'd say," Discord said lazily. "It's a welcome change."

"Wanna bet they're schemin' somethin'?" Applejack asked.

Rarity let out a laugh. "No sucker bets."

"We're gonna foil ‘em, right?" Applejack asked with a smirk.

"Of course we are!" Discord said. "We're the good guys, after all." He put a dented and flickering halo over his head, where it slipped down over his ear.

"Maybe they're scheming something nice, like a surprise party or a chase for cute animals?" Fluttershy said. She giggled. "Okay, let's go!"

Session 9.14 BrutalityInc

"Yah little varmints!" Applejack called out, "Ah use mah ‘Stomp' ability tah smash the formation of stallions-at-arms!"

Dice rolled, and Spike interpreted the results. "10. Adding 2 points bonus for farmland terrain and plus 5 for ‘Strength of the Earth' racial bonus, you flattened half the company in a go and knocked down the rest. You also dealt critical in morale damage; the survivors scatter and run."

Applejack smirked upon hearing the results. "Lily-livered cowards; ‘em pikes and swords ain't a match for a mountain giant Battlerager!"

"Those ballistas in those guard towers, on the other hoof, might actually do a number on us." Twilight pointed out, "Luckily for us, we have the element of surprise on our side, which is why they have't been shooting yet. My cyclops Wondercaster use telekinesis to dismantle the closest three ballistas."

The dice results were not as good as she hoped, however. "You dismantled two of the ballistas, but failed to destroy the third." Spike announced, "The crew manages to fire a shot at you; roll for evasive!"

"No need for that! My stone giant Stonecaller cast stoneskin on herself and blocks the shot!" Pinkie Pie declared, rolling the dice. Sure enough, it was enough to tank the ballista bolt with minimal damage.

"Good thinking, Pinkie!" Twilight thanked. It surprised her how well Pinkie was doing as the playing as the group's geomancer, instead of her usual role as a bard, or a Reveler in this setting. "Applejack, I need you to move with Pinkie to the front and spearhead our push for the inner walls of the fortress while her stoneskin spell lasts. We'll follow up behind and provide support."

"Crossbow-ponies line up the walls of the inner walls, hoping to rain as many crossbow bolts as they could before you can break through the walls." Spike said as the group made their way towards the castle at the center.

"My cloud giant Stormwielder flexes her giant wings and casts whirlwind!" Rainbow Dash called out, rolling the dice. "Critical!"

"The archers are blown away as mighty gusts of wind sweeps across the walls." Spike declared, blowing a whistle, "Wow, you're all making very quick progress today, and this is a heavily fortified stronghold for your levels!"

"Well darling, our characters are not exactly ordinary creatures." Rarity pointed out. "Not to mention we had been mostly lucky with our dice-rolls so far."

Like a brick wall against a sledgehammer, the giants smashed through the inner walls within a few turns. But they were in for a surprise when they reach the final stronghold.

"‘Your will pay for demolishing my expensive castle, monstrous fiends!' the baron declared arrogantly, ‘My new cannons will make short work of you all in a single volley of cannonballs!'" Spike said, deciding to step up the challenge.

"You mean these cannons?" Rarity asked in-character, then turned to Spike, "My frost giant Frostweaver casts mass freeze upon the cannons."

Dice rolled, and Rarity's comments on their lucky dice rolls so far proved true as Spike saw the results. "Your frost giant froze all the cannons, along with their crew and ammunition, turning them into ice statues. The baron raged, and made a desperate final charge with his knights!"

"Fluttershy? How about you have a go?" Twilight kindly suggested.

"Oh! Em… my forest giant Treespeaker casts restraining vines." Dice rolled from her hooves.

"Vines erupted and ensnared the baron and his knights." Spike confirmed the results. "Seeing this, the garrison surrendered, begging them not to eat or crush them."

"Yes! The fortress is ours!" Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie high-hoofed.

"Didn't our giants already announced before the battle that they are not in the business of eating ponies?" Rarity said, rolling her eyes, "The very thought of it is simply nauseating."

"My stone giant even pinkie promised not to!" Pinkie Pie added, "We'll just clean house with half the food that the meanie baron had greedily piled up at his castle while sharing the rest with those starving pony villagers!"

"It is understandable; even in our world, I heard that giants from outside Equestria normally don't have any qualms about eating thinking creatures smaller than they are. That aside, we have more important things to worry about." Twilight declared, "We need to interrogate the baron over where the magical crown of the Queen of the Giants went. It was stolen by adventurers under his payroll, but I doubt he would be the one who actually wants it, given what it could do in the wrong hooves. It could be the emperor ruling over this powerful empire of the ponies we're in, or someone much worse for all we know. Time is of the essence!"

The other ponies nodded in agreement. Soon, they would glean information from the terrified baron about where he sent the crown to, and after leaving him to the peasants he oppressed to decide his fate, they were on their way to continue their quest for the crown.

All in all, this campaign module, ‘March of the Giants', had proven to be an interesting experience, to say the least. They had faced giants in previous games before, and beaten them like every other NPC creatures and monsters. But to play AS giants in a story campaign written around them? Complete with rich lore detailing their history and culture? And even their own version of the normal O&O classes? Now that is quite a change of pace.

Plus, the very thought of towering over villages and castles, shaking the very earth with each hoof-steps and being able to smash whole armies of tiny enemies is an exhilarating feeling that would never get old.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Session 9.0 Kendell2
Session 9.1 Ardashir
Session 9.2 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 9.3 Ardashir (OOC: To Kendell2, I hope he likes this addition to his wonderful idea. May others work with it as well.)
Session 9.4 Jarkes
Session 9.5 MtangaLion
Session 9.6 Alex Warlorn (Welcome to the Darkest Dungeon.)
Session 9.7 Ardashir (OOC: My apologies to anyone who ever played WoW and to :iconmtangalion: for using a little of the dialogue he wrote. Maybe someone else can finish this raid!)
Session 9.8 BrutalityInc
Session 9.9 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 9.10 Brutality Inc
Session 9.11 MtangaLion
Session 9.12 MtangaLion
Session 9.13 Mooncalf99
Session 9.14 BrutalityInc

Cover art by Lightningtumble.

Session 10

Session 10

Session 10.0 SomeRandomMinion

Interrogating the baron had given a lead on one of his hired adventurers: a griffon from a smaller griffon kingdom, just on the border of the large pony empire the Giants had been marching through on their early quest. With the baron not knowing where the Queen's crown had been sent after its theft, the griffon merc was their next source.

Following this new lead, however, lead to its own problems.

"My forest giant tries to be diplomatic and talk the griffon guards down," Fluttershy declared. "She tells them we aren't with the dragon they mentioned, and that we don't want to hurt anyone. And about our quest to find the stolen Crown; how it could be a disaster in the wrong hooves..."

Dice clattered, and Spike winced at the results. "Ouch...4 for the Diplomacy check. The griffons don't buy it. They repeat their accusations of working with the local dragon, helping him snatch up villagers as pets and slaves. ...And of assassinating a pony baron in the neighboring empire. They scatter and retreat, heading off to get reinforcements!"

Applejack snorted. "Ah STILL don't know how Ah slipped on that one patch of Rarity's ice, OR bungled the Sure Footing roll... Seriously, right when we were turnin' ta leave, mah Battlerager tumbles back and ends up sittin' on the guy! Not that he didn't have it comin', but really..."

Everypony couldn't help but laugh at the memory of the tyrant baron's untimely end. Rainbow recovered first, readying her dice. "Sorry 'Shy, guess we'll have to be rough with these little guys. Oh, and my Stormwielder flies out ahead of them and beats her wings to cast Gust!"

"Gust?" Pinkie asked as the dice tumbled, tilting her head. "Won't that just knock 'em back towards the rest of us?"

"Well....I could just squish 'em or drop a tornado on their heads, but that wouldn't make us look like good giants, like Fluttershy said we were. Maybe they'll listen to reason after we scare 'em a bit. Besides, I have to respect a fellow creature of the sky. So, did it work, Spike?" Rainbow seemed to drop in and out of character almost as fast as she--and her giant pegasus character--flew.

Spike cleared his throat, grinning at the results. "7! The burst of wind catches the whole group and knocks them back several feet. They clatter to the ground, terrified and pleading as you all surround them and cut off any escape."

With their retreat cut off and at the giants' mercy, the small band of griffon soldiers were suddenly in a much more diplomatic mood. A quick round of questioning--any rolls boosted by the smaller griffons' fear of their giant captors--and reassurances that this band of giants bore no ill will toward those smaller than them, revealed that the feared dragon's recent captives included the very adventurer they were looking for, and a deal was struck.

"...So they're just gonna let us have that thievin' adventurer if we beat up that dragon? We're rescuin' everyone else he took, but they're really gonna throw him under the apple cart like that?" Applejack quirked an eyebrow, not sure if she heard Spike right. "Ah thought he was supposed to be some big shot 'round these parts. For all they know, our giants will make a snack or pet out of 'im."

"The little birds weren't exactly in a position to NOT accept our terms, darling." Rarity answered in-character, complete with an only-slightly devilish giggle. "Besides, it's been too long since we got to be around smaller creatures who WEREN'T either terrified of us, or trying to slay us. It would be a nice change of pace, would it not?"

Pinkie giggled. "Yeah! Like those little Diamond Dog pups at the start, after we saved their village from a landslide. They gave us tiny hugs and everything; so cute...!" She squeed, holding a hoof up and pretending to snuggle an invisible tiny being.

Twilight nodded with a grin. "Rarity's right, we didn't exactly give them room to haggle. But if we do this, we can get our first real lead on what happened to the Crown, and show the locals that not all giants are evil. Let's go pull a rescue!"

Everypony hoof-bumped, unaware of Spike looking through the campaign guide. Goreshade, the dragon they were all due to battle wasn't much bigger than the giants themselves, but his stats.... Spike winced. The girls would NOT have an easy time getting rid of the drake, even with the good rolls that carried them through the baron's fortress. And even then, there was the sheer power of the empire where the Crown had been taken...

Then again, Twilight's Wondercaster Cyclops did know a spell that could make herself even BIGGER....

Session 10.1 BrutalityInc (For reference: Midnight)

Deep within a realm of chaos, two immortal and powerful beings are having a conversation over tea, far away from all and any prying ears.

“You’re playing a very dangerous game, Discord.” Princess Luna commented.

“Oh Luna, you wound me; you and Celestia know more than anypony else that’s how I like to play.” Discord responded with a grin, “Otherwise, danger wouldn’t be my middle name! Actually, no; it was that Pegasus… what’s her name again? Fire –”

“In any case, that isn’t the point.” Luna interrupted briskly. Discord snorted, while Luna continued “This idea of yours carries significant amount of risks. If it goes wrong, it could endanger even you.”

“And I thought you ponies are willing to go far to reform villains.” Discord said snidely, “If everyone were so afraid of risks they wouldn’t even be able to muster enough courage to leave their bedrooms.”

“Of course we are willing! Do you think us cowards?” Luna retorted, affronted “Does letting you out and have Fluttershy befriend you not enough of a gigantic risk? We nearly paid for it, too, twice I must add!”

“Touche.” Discord admitted, sipping his tea upside down. “But in any case, in the long term, with this plan, we’ll be opening up a whole world of opportunities.”

“If your plan works. But it doesn’t sound… sound.” Luna commented.

“Oh, but it is sound!” Discord said, as soon as he finished some cookie-sized mailboxes he was eating from his plate “Think about it, Lulu; you can control dreams as well as I can dish out chaos, shaping them like an artist would mold clay. It’s not beyond you to create whole dream-worlds for your own shenanigans – like when you recreated Ponyville as a collective dream for its ponies to join in the mash-up against your runaway pet Tantabus. And your more recent ‘Ravenloft’ dream-LARP campaign with Twilight and friends.”

“Remind me not those travesties! The former was a serious matter, the latter…” Luna sighed, shaking her head “I still don’t know how it went so wrong.”

“Has it perhaps colored your perception to my plan, ma chère?” Discord teased, earning him a glare from Luna, “The main idea is essentially the same, only instead of having our friends as players of our dream-LARP game – let’s call it DRP, DREAM Role-playing - we have villains as players instead!”

“‘Drag villains into constructed dream worlds and make them experience scenarios which would make them see the errors of their ways.’? I know what you mean by that; I'm FAMILIAR with that… Assuming that it is doable, what scenario do you have in mind? What campaign setting doth thou hath for our players and reformed-to-be?” Luna queried wearily, briefly slipping back into old-Equestrian. “It certainly seemed redundant to put them into roles of Dark-lords and Dark-ladies of Ravenloft, doomed to experience ironic torment, given they ARE or HAD already been evil overlords…”

“Oh, no, I got something better in mind!” Discord said, summoning a game-book which he floated toward Luna’s face. On its cover, an armored gargoyle with a tattered, fluttering cape stood on a balcony of a brass, waving a gauntlet, curled claw into the air outside. In the background, dark spires of a dark and terrible city could be seen silhouetted against a dark orange and blood-red sky, filled with smoke and circling dragons.

“‘Midnight – Epic Fantasy in an Age of Shadows.’” Luna read the title.

“It’s basically what happens if an evil overlord like me won and conquer the world. Minus all the chaos and crazed ponies, that is.” Discord said, leaning back and giving Luna time to browse through the game-book, “Long story short, in the fantasy world of Eremane, Izrador, the dark deity of evil and corruption, won a war of domination one century ago. In his victory, he now rules without pity or mercy, dominating the cursed continent with his Church of the Shadow and armies of loyal Gargoyles and Troggs minions, oppressing the downtrodden Ponies and Griffons. Deer and Diamond Dogs are hunted mercilessly, while the Donkeys and the rest are often enslaved to toil for the Shadow. The good deities who made war and then threw him out of their ranks ages past can't help, with their access to Eramane blocked by a magical veil that Izrador enshrouded the land with during his fall to Eramane. Even death is no escape; unable go to the afterlife, the dead rises constantly to attack and feast on the living.”

“How terrible…” Luna commented as she beheld pages describing a world of evil, suffering and tyranny without end. How can anyone allow it to happen? How far would one go to end it? “And that is your plan? You will have our villains enter the nightmare world described in this campaign, and then with our subtle prompting and events engineering, go about on a DRP-quest to free Eramane from the clutches of Izrador?”

“And along the way, to have an exquisite first-hoof experience of what’s it like to witness or be on the receiving end of evil overlord antics, thereby developing a conscience, empathy, a sense of justice and all those other good things good ponies have.” Discord confirmed, “And best part is, since you can control dreams, including the passage of time, you can have the villains you’re reforming experience the ENTIRE CAMPAIGN ADVENTURE in a single night. You can do it so deep within the Dreaming that when they wake up, they might not remember it, but the experience would remain, buried so deeply into their psyche that it’ll be impossible to excise. If necessary, you can do it as many nights as you want until the lessons stuck. One day, when they wake up again… they’ll never be the same again.”

“But there are so many possible flaws in this plan of yours.” Luna insisted, “For one, I know from experience that half the time, it would be easy for ponies to eventually realize they are in a dream, and once they do, they would see the experience as make-believe or artificial, as if what their dream-selves endure is some-pony else’s story…”

“Not if they DON’T know they’re in a dream.” Discord answered. “That would make it the ultimate DRP experience for them.”

“And how do you plan to do that? To make them utterly unable to distinguish dream from reality, we’ll have to remove every frame of reference with the waking world…” Luna stopped as she beheld the true meaning of Discord’s suggestion “Wait, you don’t mean…”

“We’ll have to do it anyway, so might as well do it first.” Discord shrugged, taking a sip from a coconut drink he summoned, “For this plan to work, the dream experience had to be inserted so deep into their minds, that when they wake up they’ll act upon those ideas and experiences we implanted, thinking it’s their own, steering them to goody-two-shoe-ness. An inception, as they call it in that film I watched in another dimension. BUT, there are a lot of mental defenses that would be spanners in the works.”

Discord slipped into lecture mode, “As you seen in my case, villains like moi don’t just have a ‘heel-face-turn’ overnight. It takes time, often with positive input like a sincere friend, to fully realize that what they are doing is wrong. They don’t see WHY they should change at first; even when you tell them or show them, they’ll conjure, both consciously and subconsciously, all sorts of mental gymnastics, all kinds of lovely self-justifications, rationalizations, circular logic and what not in self-defence. Layers upon layers, all to protect their twisted ego and legitimize their generic villainous motivations, no matter how hypocritical or irrational it may be.”

“All that, dear Lulu, draws upon their memories and experiences in the real world. When villains begin their paths to darkness, they remember the circumstances that led them to villainy, the emotions they felt from committing horrible evil, and learn what they can from their losses and wins. These memories and experiences influence their thinking and mental processes, blocking anything we try to put into their heads through our DRP, preventing them from becoming fully form in their subconscious and sticking long enough to take root.”

“So in order to truly influence them towards the light as they experience the scenario we give them…” Luna began as the conclusion dawn upon her.

“They must go into our DRP as a blank slate.” Discord finished it for her, moving a piece “They must begin like the level-10 starting characters in those adventure RPGs with multiple endings: naïve colts and fillies with minimum backstories who start off clueless and malleable, but gradually grows and becomes solid with ‘character development’ as destiny calls and they’re drawn to the epic adventure, making choices, saving kingdoms and punching out the bad guys. For that though, we must cast our own ‘Veil of Izrador’ on their memories: All the baggage from their waking world selves, anything that they could use for comparison, anything that could influence their responses or let them realize it’s not real, must be shelved during that time.”

“Impossible!” Luna exclaimed, both outrage and disbelieving “Not only do I believe it a horrid act, one simply can’t erase and modify memories on a whim, even at our level of power! Any mind would resist modification unless the pony WANTS to forget or remember differently!”

“Well of COURSE it’s not going to work if you do it that! How do you suppose I go around ‘discording’ ponies back then?” Discord retorted, “And we don’t NEED to; just repressing all the memories of their waking life for the time spent in the dream game is enough. It’ll go around the resistance problem since ponies do that to their own bad memories all the time. It’s part of their mental defense mechanisms!”

Discord then dropped the figurative bombshell, “So that’s the gist of it: I’m not suggesting we use our magic to force retrograde amnesia; to get around the memory modification resistance problem, I’m suggesting we use our magic to trick or hijack the memory-suppressing part of their own mental defenses, and then use it to repress all the relevant waking-world memories, which would also turn off the rest of their mental defenses from the inside in one go. THEN we can do inception on their minds through our game scenario without complications.”

Luna stared jaws-agape at Discord, shocked at the sheer audacity of his proposal. Once again, she’s reminded why Discord is considered mad. A part of her pondered the morality (and sanity) of it, another part questioned if it’s even doable...

Yet, it does sound brilliant on paper. And audacious, brilliant plans, if done right…

“It… It just might work.” Luna said breathed. Then, “This requires careful consideration.”

“Oh why, why… why hesitate? Do you think you could afford to have this idea go to waste?” Discord exclaim, exasperated, “How long do you think before cheese-leg Chrysalis is going to strike again, putting your precious ponies in danger of being turned into changeling food-batteries? What about good ‘o Tirek? How long do you think before he’s going to break out again and try to steal every-pony’s magic? And who knows what uppity crook, monster, diabolical genius or mad demigod would pop up next week, or the next month, or next thousand years? You give us evil villains time, and they’ll recover and try again, and again; and one of those tries, they’ll get smart or lucky and they’ll win, just like Izrador did in Eramane!”

“DON’T BE A RECKLESS FOOL!” Luna shut Discord up with a shout of the Royal Canterlot Voice. Calming down, she continued, “I did not say it is a bad plan, nor am I being indecisive. But at where we stand, I have never done anything like this on such a scale, and we hardly understand some of the villains we want to reform with our dream game.”

“Tirek, for example, has resisted every attempt by Pinkie Pie to reform him through Crystals and Rainbows game through creative interpretation of the rules. Queen Chrysalis is the self-proclaimed ‘Empress of Mind Magic’, a shrewd actress and a cunning schemer.” Luna paused to catch her breath, “Both no doubt had many tricks up their sleeves; for all we know, merely by connecting them into Dreaming, Tirek could drain both our magic through our dream-selves, or Chrysalis could subvert our minds and make us into her mindless, brainwashed minions to use against Equestria.”

“AND THEN, even once in our dream campaign, unable to recall their waking lives, if they discover even the tiniest glitches or flaws in our dream campaign world, they might suspect that something is amiss, and then ultimately work to DERAIL the game like Twilight and her friends did many times!”

“Hence I believe it risky; there’s too many unknowns, and too many ways it could backfire unless we cover all bases.” Luna gave voice to her doubts, “We only have one shot at this for each villain, or everything could crash and burn. I… I can’t be a Dungeon Master to such a game, if I couldn’t plan everything PERFECTLY.”

“… You don't have to, and I can HELP you cover those bases.” Discord said, uncharacteristically determined “I mean, I’m Discord, for Pete’s sake! Spirit of Chaos here? HELLO! I can do practically anything with Chaos Magic. You want all their potential game-breaking powers suppressed? Fine, I can do that, just like I took away the wings and horns in the Hedge Maze. I’m practically the embodiment of order breaking down in reality: you want your world to be flawless? I’ll patch up any glitches in the matrix! You want material to make the Eramane believable? I have literally eons of experience to draw on being an evil overlord, having been pony-kind’s devil-archetype incarnate!”

“And let’s not forget, Luna: You and your sister can move celestial objects, and rule a nation of pastel-colored magical ponies. There’s NOTHING you cannot do if you throw even a fraction of that power and resources at your disposal. You want to make this the perfect game campaign, one that could redeem evil itself? Go. All. IN! This dream would be your masterpiece. Let me be the Co-DM, Lulu; with your creativity, my experience, our powers combined, this will be the greatest game campaign ever!” Discord finished his declaration with a flourish, standing upon a soapbox that he unwittingly summoned during his speech.

“You seemed awfully passionate about all this…” Luna noted suddenly, “Are you sure you are not merely using this as an excuse to mess with other villains’ heads?”

Discord’s serious expression melted back into that sinister, mischievous leer Luna is all too familiar with, “Well, would I be Discord if I miss an opportunity like that? Might as well call myself ‘George’ then. Plus, if they go nuts in the process, it’s just karma for them.”

Luna gave him a long, thoughtful look. Then, she put down her teacup and stood up, picking up the O&O ‘Midnight’ game-book. “I shall consult with my sister and Twilight over this. As for whether it would be accomplished? Well…” She charged her horn for a spell, “We shall see.”

With a flash of teleport, she disappeared, leaving Discord alone. The chaos serpent looked down at her tea cup she left behind, before shouting after her “You could had at least finished your tea! Fluttershy got these for me, you know!”

Session 10.2 Kichi

Fluttershy walked with a smile, it was a little hard, but she managed to let the girls have Discord try again as a game master in one of his games, even when he almost managed to make them go crazy.

She called to the door of Discord Room and opened it, only to find a group of around four Discord's playing at a table with another Discord as a game master, it seemed that they didn't notice her presence as they were in the middle of a game, but after a couple of minutes, Fluttershy could not really manage to find sense to that game and without saying a word she closed the door and get out of the house.

"Sorry girls, I think he is going to be busy today" Commented Fluttershy as she put a little smile as a squeak could be heard from her.

Session 10.3 Alex Warlorn

Octavia had never imagined Derpy would prove to be such an exceptional Dungeon Master... at least once they were able to get Time Turner to stand down and give up the reigns.

And Vinyl had only had to kill, two or three of his characters before he stopped hogging the spot light.

Her roommate create an image of dice floating in the air.

"Yes Vinyl I have my dice bag, I only forgot it ONCE." And that was due to the headache she had from explaining to Lyra and Bon Bon that herself and Vinyl were ACTUALLY just friends, not 'just friends.' Vinyl felt more like the baby sister Octavia never wanted some times.

There was a knock on the door, two in fact. And there was the sound of pushing and shoving.
Curious, Octavia opened the door, to find two ponies. One was Pipsqueak, who was wearing a blue cloak with a crescent moon on its back.

The other was an earth pony pony Octavia vaguely recognized, purple/pink coat, her mane in two sets of braids and a purple and magenta equal sign for a cutie mark. She was also grinning so big it was a wonder her head didn't fall off.

"Hello! I'm Suri Polomare. But you can call me Buttons! Have you heard the good news of Equality?" Suri grinned. "You get to be free of the chains of destiny, and you can keep your cutie mark in a jar instead of it enslaving you. It's bliiissssss!"

"Uh, cutie marks don't work like that," Octavia said.

"Oh no no we have proof! Shortly before Twilight Sparkles' ascension-"

"HEY! I was here first!" Pipsqueak pushed. "Miss Octavia, have you heard the good news about Princess Luna? She's best Princess. The mother of the Bat Pony tribe, and protector of Equestria's night, guardian of dreams, and ruler of the moon! Would you like to join Luna's Witnesses?"

Octavia had a feeling they were going to be late to the game.

Session 10.4 Alex Warlorn

-In the Human World-

Shining Armor checked his web mail. "Rein of Chaos release date pushed back again? What's going on with them?"

-

"For the last time Discord, no! You're NOT ALLOWED to use mind control hypno-screens to render players the upcoming 'discorded' status effect in real life! Do you have any idea how many ways we'll go sued?" Chrysalis said, the green haired woman looking none too happy.

Discord, their lead game programmers waved his hands. "Not if we put it in our 'end user agreement' those things are iron clad, and the players never read them anyway! And just think how much it'll enhance the experience!"

"No means no!"

Discord whined. "I thought it was a good compromise after you told me I couldn't take direct control of the characters away from their players for the initial quest of the first expansion when they get discorded! If I have them simply switch factions, they'll play poorly just to let their team win the quest!"

"Figure something else out."

"How about a self-governing AI programmed to identify and prey upon the insecurities and psychological weaknesses of the players?"

"Why did we give you tenure again?" Chrysalis said feeling a headache coming on.

"You didn't want me running off to another game studio or government agencies who'd pay me more for my talent."

Session 10.5 Grogar-the-oneser

"Speaking of expansion...." Both turn to look at their boss Sombra walking into the room carrying something. "Here's a list for my expansion for you to add once yours is implemented."

"Isn't it a bit early to show what you want for our expansion, Discord hasn't even completed his."

"It pays to be prepared," Sombra stated.

Discord grabbed the notes and read them a bit, "Okay I get the mind control helmet, but what's with the stairs?"

"I want to see how many of them take the stress with all the stair levels before we give them a certain gravity spell almost 3/4 the way there," Sombra said.

"That sound annoying and troll-like. I wholeheartedly approve!" Discord said. "But I would like if you remove the backstory for the changeling race."

"What wrong with it? Sombra asked.

"Nothing, he's just complaining cause it my idea," Chrysalis said snidely.

"It's completely moronic, I mean how the devil would they realize they were born from such a scenario, was the nut sentient?" Discord asked snidely.

"It's suppose to be a kick the dog moment of storytelling," Chrysalis snapped.

"More like poke the poodle," Discord muttered. "Besides if I can't use hypno-screens and evil emotion using AIs then she can't use lame backstories."

Session 10.6 Mooncalf99

"Umm... excuse me, Mr Discord, Sir?"

Discord spun around. The newcomer was a brown-haired moppet of a boy, hunched over in the universal manner of someone trying to look small and unnoticeable, and clutching a stack of papers. His whole appearance screamed 'intern'. And yet something looked familiar about the boy. Discord was reminded of... "...Tirek? You're that boy hanging around Tirek, right? Scorchy?"

"Um, Scorpan, sir," Scorpan corrected carefully. "Tirek is my brother. Um."

"Yes, yes, we can all see the family resemblance," Chrysalis said, rolling her eyes in annoyance. "We were having an important business discussion, so make yourself scarce, kid."

"Now, now, Chryssi," Discord said disarmingly. "I'm sure the boy had a very good reason for speaking up." He turned to Scorpan and smiled widely. Perhaps a bit widely, and in a manner that tended to remind people of wolves. "You did have a reason, didn't you? You didn't just decide to barge in on three of your superiors who could get you thrown out on the street in less than a minute if we don't like what you have to say, did you? Because that would be very stupid. You're not very stupid, are you, Scorpan?"

Scorpan swallowed nervously, feeling as though a rock had lodged in his throat. Or possibly his foot. "N-no... I mean, no, I had a... a reason. I, um..." He took a deep breath. "I heard you arguing about the, uh, discording thing? And I thought, Achievements!"

"Achievements?" Sombra rumbled.

"Uh, yes!" Scorpan said hastily. "You could give players Achievements for getting discorded and, uh, doing discorded things! A lot of my guild members love to collect Achievements! You know, one hundred percent completion and all?"

"That's just pointless filler," Chrysalis scoffed. "Anyway, of course we were going to add a bunch of those. How is that going to help Discord's little pet project?"

"Well, um..." Scorpan tugged nervously at his collar. He was beginning to regret this, but if he tried to back out now, he'd be fired. Worse, he'd have to explain this to his brother. "You could have... alternate quests that required the players to act discorded? With special quest rewards if they play the part?"

"Alternate quests..." Discord mused. His grin widened even more, if possible. "The players would have an actual incentive to act discorded for real. Continuously! They would do everything for us, with no more compelling than offering some digital shinies!" He laughed. "Hah! They'd even *want* to get discorded just to get an Achievement! It's so insidious, I love it!"

"Much as I hate to agree with Discord, anything that keeps us out of a lawsuit is good," Chrysalis said. "And I like the idea of making the players do our work for us."

"Good," Sombra said. "Discord, get on it. And get started on those expansions. Chrysalis, drum up some PR for the new features. I'm taking the afternoon off."

"So, uh... you like it?" Scorpan asked nervously.

Discord grinned at him. "Let's go down to the cafeteria and brainstorm a few ideas. I'll buy you a sandwich. Say, how'd you like to be my newest assistant?"

Scorpan nodded slowly and followed his new boss. Somehow, he couldn't shake the feeling he'd regret this day. Still, it beat getting fired, right?

Session 10.7 Alex Warlorn

The mane six had gathered at Sugar Cube corner to drink their pain and shame away. Barrels of cider were guzzled away by the mares.

"I'm sorry girls," Twilight sighed. "I got you all killed."

Mr. and Mrs. Cake politely decided to say nothing and just serve cider.

"Oh Twili, it wasn't your fault." Fluttershy offered.

"Yes it was! I'm the Heir! It's my job to decide when a mission has become too dangerous and it's better to live to fight another day! But no! You'd made it to the Wizened Witch's lair! And I pressed you on ahead!"

"None of us were crazy, and none of us were dead. I'd say we'd had a shot." Rainbow Dash said, using her wings to keep balance to lament the loss of her highway mare Jackyle H. (who was rotting in the Darkest Hamlet graveyard a few plots from to his brother, Jack H.).

"You were also all at half health. With no bandages, no anti-venom, no herbs, and no food. And camping buffs got used up on previous surprise attacks AND! Because we were so low on funds treating the insanity of your OTHER characters, I didn't have enough money to even buy torches, shovels, or enough food!"

Applejack raised a hoof. "Yer not the only to blame Twili'... my Crusader had nothin' but first and second position attacks, when we knew that dang witch would be in the rear, and that pot of hers in the front. It was stupid, Ah couldn't do anythin' but heal, but it didn't mean a thing cause we were tryin' to get one of us out of the pot all the time!"

The ponies all shuddered... pretty much none of them hadn't escaped the witch's curse, trapping one of them in her cooking put until their HP was at Death's Door or they spilled the pot over... the former happening a lot more than the latter.

"We were arrogant darlings." Rarity sighed. "After killing the Apprentice Necromancer in the manor ruins on their first go without anypony dying and us mostly sane, we felt on top of the world."

"And we didn't have any means of instilling Bleed of Bright Effects on her because, Dashie's highway mare couldn't use her vein slice from how the witch and her were set up!" Pinkie Pie lamented. Dash REALLY preferred direct damage moves... until it finally hit her how unlike in most games, they actually stacked up, and actually made a different in battle... Pinkie Pie's jester Steinburg had found out the hard way even though they had increased resistance to killing blows and bled to death instead!

Twilight shook her head. "Your packs were heavy with loot by the time you reached the hag, more than enough to heal any sanity loss for retreating... but no, I let you press on ahead, not to take a loss from the healing from the stress of retreating."

"Even if that makes no sense." Fluttershy said, taking a stance on retreating from a unwinnable situation as being a sign of sanity! The ponies agreed that retreating from danger INCREASING stress, felt VERY arbitrary.

And their plague doctors still had the creeping cough and needed to be treated and they couldn't even afford treatment. And their coffers were reduced to 45G, when a single torch cost 75G. The next expedition was going to be a death march.

Dante the crusaders had also been one of the original heroes to come to the estate, along with Jack H. the highway mare (who had died escorting a group of level 0 heroes while he was level 1 through the ruins... in the campaign's second adventure proper).
And now Dante joined his friend in death.

"And," Fluttershy admitted. "My Hellion couldn't do any damage to the witch except with my 'hit first three positions at once' move, and that lessened my attack damage every time."

The ponies agreed, the entire fight had been effectively lost before it even began. Except.

"I think we had a chance." Pinkie Pie. "My Occultist, Haji, had her on the ropes."

"Pinkie Pie," AJ said. "The only reason ya got the witch down to single digit HP, is because when Haji stress hit 100, he became heroic instead of going crazy. And lasted one killing blows at zero HP than any pony has a right to... even when he was the last guy standing, and couldn't use his healing move because he was the one standing and was front in line, and couldn't use that ceremony knife of his." One of the odd mechanics in the game was, not only could you only hit enemies in certain positions with certain moves, but you could only USE certain moves in certain positions! Pinkie Pie had been lucky Haji had the 'sacrificial knife' move equipped at all. Or the fight would have been already over.

"I still don't get why the enemy leave corpses that get in our way." Rainbow Dash complained. "When OUR characters die, they don't and we lose formation!"

"Maybe they get teleported back to the Hamlet? And that's how our corpses end up back in the Graveyard?" Pinkie Pie suggested.

Rarity herself of all ponies grumbled. "As a mare who pays attention to sizes, I swear that that plump witch's size SHOULD have made her count for two position slots just like her pot, and Futtershy's iron swan attack, made explicitly to hit enemies in the forth back position SHOULD have hit her!"

"Spike did say he was just following the manual said," Twilight defended.

"I will admit..." Rarity said, "It was mature for Spike to let the dice fall where they may, instead of fudging them to let us win. Not that I think he ever has of course."

Pinkie Pie said. "But did the Narrator Voice REALLY have to boom, 'You can not learn what you think you know!' when our whole party died? I think Fluttershy hid in the closet!"

"... He sounded so upset ... and I was really sorry that we let our heroes all die."

"SO RD, those ponies at the game store STILL calling us Soft-Core?" AJ asked.

"No... they're calling us masochists for playing this game!"

"I'd say it's brutal." Twilight agreed. "Even the weakest monsters are there to kill us, not feed us free gold and experience points, but not masochist... it's not Dark Spirits after all... don't ask, the less you know about that game, the less YOU are going to need stressing healing instead of just your characters. And less you think something only has meaning once it's been destroyed."

"AND!" Rainbow Dash lamented further. "All the gold we spent on upgrading their equipment and abilities is just gone! Why the heck can't we take their armor and weapons out of the ground and give them to the next suckers coming to that creepy place to die?!"

Another odd mechanic of the game, was that leveling up didn't level up stats or HP or attack... instead it only increased your resistance to the mind shattering horrors you were experiencing. HP, attack, and the like, were increased by the black smith upgrading your weapons and armor. And paying the guild to train your characters in new technique and improving old ones.

"Rainbow, I tried already to figure out some of the twisted mechanics here... Spike got me to stop when I began rambling in dark tones and scribbling twisting symbols on the walls in red crayon."

"This wouldn't be a problem if you joined me, Angel, Glimmer, and Suri for our game of Bunnies and Borrows," Fluttershy offered. "Not that... not that there's anything WRONG with playing this scary, unhappy dark dark game!" Fluttershy covered her tracks.

A part of Twilight did wonder if it would be better just to quit Darkest Dungeon.

Session 10.8 Kendell2

"Wait a second..." Rainbow Dash asked. "HOW exactly does this work?"

The group looked at the game Fluttershy had brought in, called Undertail 'the RPG where you don't have to destroy anypony!'. Discord was also present.

"Oh...well, you see one of you plays a pony..." she explained. "Who climbed a mountain that legend has it a bunch of monsters were sealed away under after a war with the ponies. You fell down a hole and are now at the bottom. You can either fight, or try to befriend and spare every monster! Up to you!"

"I got that, but what about the REST of us?" the pony asked.

"You're the monsters...well, some of them," she explained. "You're some of the um...'bosses'. You see the monsters aren't all evil! They're just like us ponies, there are good and bad ones. But they want to get out, and they need a seventh pony's soul to break the barrier keeping them trapped and some just want to stop the pony from hurting anypony because they think ponies are evil!...But not all of them want to, their king just ordered them to! It's kinda up to you what you think!"

"So what do we do when we're not boss fights?!" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Simple: have lives! That's part of the game: the monsters are ponies with lives of their own!" Fluttershy explained.

"Oh...So who gets to be the pony?"

"Um...I don't want to pick...dice roll?"

They choose numbers and rolled the dice. It came up with a two, meaning Twilight got to be the foal, or filly in this case.

Fluttershy put her 'tutorial/story' character on the board as well, a nice, kind looking goat-like creature. She explained her character wasn't invincible and could be killed in her boss fight.

"Wait, why is Discord here? We didn't roll for him," Rainbow questioned suspiciously as they began writing their characters down. The game allowed them to decide their OWN mechanics for their 'boss fight' so long as their fight wasn't unwinnable and they had it built into their character some way they could be non-violently defeated.

"Oh, because I already have mine!" Discord called, holding up a little flower figurine that reminded Rainbow of Happy Daisy. "The role fit me perfectly! Besides, I tried playing the game with Tirek, but he was the pony and...well, this isn't a game you can replay after playing like HE does it."

"...That kinda disturbs me..." said Rainbow Dash. 'And not just because of Nightmares.'

Soon after, 'their best friend' (as the Discord said for his character) tried to teach Twilight's filly (which she named Nyx for reasons even she wasn't sure of) how to 'share' LOVE (the game's version of levels) with 'friendship pellets' that nearly killed Nyx in one hit and then mocked her before trying to finish the job.

"And that explains a lot," Rainbow Dash said as Discord tried his best to look innocent.

She then got a smirk when Fluttershy's character interrupted and blew the 'happy little flower' across the map to protect the 'cute little filly'.

"...I'm the bad guy in a game Fluttershy picked, did you really think I'd be invincible?" he admitted with minor annoyance.

Session 10.9 Alex Warlorn

"GIRLS! I'm sorry! I GOT US ALL KILLED!" Fluttershy lamented.

"Shy what are you talking about?" Rainbow asked.

"I check the rule books again, Hellion can only use Iron Swan when in first position, I spent most of the fight with the witch in the second position, I COULD HAVE hit her, if Applejack's Crusader and my Hellion had been in different positions!"

"SPIKE! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US!" Rainbow snarled. The rest, including Twilight and Rarity, stared daggers at him.

Spike held his cool. "Girls, it's YOUR JOB to remember what your character can and can't do, I only said that Fluttershy couldn't hit the witch with that move from her current position, I never said the witch DIDN'T take up the third and forth position because she was so fat. You girls came to that conclusion on your own. I wasn't my job to correct you. The manual explicitly says that I should LET YOU make mistakes no matter how big the consequences."

The Elements of Harmony looked at each other.

Applejack sighed. "... Yer right Spike, dangit. But Shy, we ALL messed up somehow, I didn't come with any moves to hit the witch AT ALL, so Ah was next to useless except for a tiny bit of healin'... We all added to the mess, and it blew up on our face... we're stuck learnin' from it. That's all." AJ gave Fluttershy a gently hug.

"Thanks Applejack." Fluttershy smiled.

Session 10.10 Grogar-the-oneser

"Also you girls get way too emotionally invested in theses games," Spikes said, everypony glared at him. "What it's true. You girls get WAY too involve in these games sometimes. And before you point out that I sometime do it too, I'm usually the guy running these little ventures so I'm suppose to get invested sometimes," Spike said.

"Alright then, we will remember that the next you play a game in a non-Oubliettes Master role. We'll make sure to pick a heavy emotional game so you can show us how it's done," Rainbow said annoyed.

".... On second thought I profusely apologize and offer my cooking services for the next week for all you girls if you pretend I didn't say anything," Spike said.

Session 10.11 Grogar-the-oneser

"Okay why didn't you invite Fluttershy?" Starlight asked.

"Oh well the game we are playing may not be the best suited for her," Twilight said.

"Twilight after playing that Darkest Dungeon game, I'm pretty sure Fluttershy will handle this one," Rainbow said annoyed.

"Not really, I got this game from Sunset when visiting her world, and I REALLY think it'd be better if she didn't play this one," Twilight insisted.

"Oh come now Twilight what game could possibly be so bad that fluttershy can't play it?"

"Killer Bunnies And The Quest For The Magic Carrot," Twilight said quite seriously.

".... seriously," Rainbow Dash said annoyed.

"It's not what you think, see it's a card game for 2-8 players. Winning is accomplished by acquiring carrot cards, one of which is revealed to be the winning 'magic carrot' at the end of the game. Acquiring carrot cards is done primarily through the use of bunnies, which allow the use of an enormous variety of in-game actions," Twilight explained.

"Okay so it's a strange form of lottery card game, but that still doesn't explain why you didn't invite Fluttershy," Starlight said.

"There's a second part. See you're also suppose to kill the bunnies," Twilight said.

Everyone blinked. "What," Rarity balked.

"Not your own obviously. You're trying to kill off each other's bunnies while keeping as many of yours alive as possible," Twilight said. "And you can kill the other bunnies off with everything from a kitchen whisk to a nuke."

Everyone took a step back "One, that sounds messed up, two what in Tartarus is a nuke?" Starlight asked.

"A) calm down in terms of violence it's basically a very simplified and largely nonviolent game, B) nothing you need to worry about and c) now do you realize why I didn't invite fluttershy," Twilight said.

"Well yeah now we do," Rainbow said.

"Good, then lets start playing."

Session 10.12 Ardashir

"So it's like that time you didn't want Spike to show that human-world bunny movie 'Watership Down' to Fluttershy, either, darling?"

"You saw it, Rarity. Can you imagine how Fluttershy would react?"

Everypony at the table shuddered.

Session 10.13 Kendell2

After that darkest dungeons game had made them depressed (as it seemed very good at doing) and they were collectively contemplating whether or not to actually keep going (especially after the GM looked ahead and realized how depressingly it ended, no one complained), a game of Crystals and Rainbows Generation 3.5 was thought in order, especially considering there'd been a new expansion involving a wishing star.

"So Spike's friend Weatherbe is in this?" Rainbow Dash asked.

Pinkie smirked (being the Rainbow Maker). "You could say that..."

"So this game is set in a world were the one time somepony became princess they didn't like the pressure or treatment and made EVERYPONY present princess?" Starlight asked.

"Yep!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"And everypony goes out of their way to understand everypony and even the Princesses don't act like they're above anypony else?"

"Yep. One time a pony thought they would no pony cared and went out of their way to tell her they loved her no matter what and LIKED HER for who she was," Pinkie Pie continued.

"...And even with Princesses everypony is treated just as well and equally as everypony else?"

"That's the idea," Twilight replied with a smile.

"...Is it wrong I wish this place were real?" Starlight asked, giving a genuine smile.

"Not at all," the lavender Alicorn replied, giving her a hug.

Session 10.14 Richforce (Based on Xenogears Chronicles X and contains minor story spoilers.)

“Thanks for inviting me guys,” said Spike as he sat down in Featherweight’s basement. “Usually when I do stuff like this everypony else is a filly or mare.”

“It’s nice to have a game with just us colts,” said Snips. “I like the girls but sometimes you need a guy’s night in.”

Button Mash had started spreading out sheets he’d need to be DM. “I think you guys are going to like this game. My dad came up with it after the success of that mecha game he made.”
“Will we get robots in this one too?” asked Featherweight.

“Yeah actually, but only you can only pilot the mecha, here called Skells, once you get to the upper levels. He wanted it to be something that players earned this time around.”

“I do hope this story has a lot of adventure in it,” said Pipsqueak.

“It should, you’re mostly exploring an alien planet. In the setting two alien forces started fighting each other while attacking Equus. Our planet gets destroyed but a number of ships manage to evacuate a fair number of people. Now one ship, the White Dragon, was damaged in another fight with one of the alien forces and parts of it crash lands on the planet Mira. The residential portion of the ship is set up as the city of New Los Pegasus or NLP. Our characters are members of a paramilitary organization with two main goals; keeping the citizens of NLP safe and finding the Lifehold, the part of the ship where most of White Dragon’s passengers are still in statis and has landed intact but in an unknown part of the planet. The group is called Building a Legacy After the Destruction of Equus or more simply as BLADE.

“Cool,” said Snips and Snails.

“Ok,” said Featherweight. “Let’s make our characters while button finishes up.”
Spike raised a claw. “I got a question. I see where we choose character class but there’s also something called a ‘division’ we have to pick?”

“Oh,” said Button. “That part tells a bit about your character’s personality by defining your responsibilities in BLADE. You can do other sorts of missions but matching them up with your division will get you bonus points when it comes to improving your standing in BLADE.”
“So what are the Divisons?” asked Pip.

“There are eight total. First you have the Pathfinders, their main job is to plant data probes into the ground and expand FrontierNav, a sensor network that will gather data on Mira’s flora and fauna and hopefully find the Lifehold.

“Next are the Interceptors, they are responsible for dealing with hostile indigens, native animal lifeforms from attacking NLP any of the survey groups exploring the wilds of Mira, they’re also responsible for helping NLP citizens in distress.

“Third you have the Harriers, if the Interceptors are the defense then Harriers are the offense. It’s their job to track down high risk Indigens known as Tyrants and take them down if they’re considered too dangerous to be left alone.

“Fourth up are the Reclaimers, when the White Dragon was crashed a lot of debris and components were scattered. The Reclaimers try to bring back these pieces and anything left behind from failed operations since anything from Equus is considered irreplaceable and probably vital to survival.

“Curators are the frontline explorers, they’re the first to any new areas to collect new materials and examine any archeological remnants of other Miran inhabitants.
“Prospectors use minerals and resources mined with help from the FrontierNav to maintain the livelihood of NLP’s citizens

“Outfitters work closely with arms manufacturing companies to develop the weapons, armor and skells for Blade. Pretty much they get the cool stuff first.

“Finally there’s the Mediators, their core objective is to resolve problems of NLP’s citizens, sometimes by acting as councilors and others by acting like police.”

“Well count me in as a Harrier!” said Snips. “Should go well with my guy being a melee attacker.”

“I’ll be with the Interceptors,” said Snails. “My character is going to be a sniper so it works.”

“And I’m Reclaimer!” said Featherweight. “As for class I’m going with an agility based build.”

“Curator’s best for me!” said Pip. “I’d get to explore and it’ll help me tank for you guys!”

“What about you Spike?” Button asked.

“I think I’ll go with Pathfinder and my class is going to balance long and short range attacks.”

“Ok, your first mission for Blade is going to be a simple installment of a data probe close to NLP…”

+++

The first mission was relatively easy, except for the Tyrant they ended up fighting. The next mission however was to locate a Pathfinder team that went missing. On getting to their last known location they encountered a group of bipedal aliens that said their orders were to attack any Equusians on sight. Going further into the base they found that the alien commander of the base had wiped out the missing team. After taking down the commander and his goons then rescuing a native of the planet Spike spoke up. “Well if hostile animals weren’t enough we now have to deal with aliens that are actually out to get us, maybe one of the aliens that blew Equus up.”

“At least we’ve made a friend too,” said Pip. “I mean we did save that native from becoming their dinner.”

“The guy they mistook for a radish?” said Snips. “I’m not the smartest pony but I get the feeling that he’ll probably be more annoying than helpful.”

“Well if not him at least we’re making inroads with the locals,” said Snails. “That’s good right?”

“I’m more worried that since Button is giving us some more help because things are going to get worse from here,” said Featherweight.

“I get what you’re saying,” said Button. “When I’m playing a video game and I find a room full of powerups, save points or weapons I know that really difficult segment is coming up. But don’t worry too much right now. Dad designed each main story campaign to have requirements that will give you the time to build up levels and equipment before you get too far over your heads.”

“Well anyway thanks guys,” said Spike. “But if any of the fillies want to play with us we aren’t going to stop them right?”

“Course not,” said Pip. “Anypony is welcome.”

“I know with how many more girls than boys there seem to be in Ponyville or even all of Equestria at times it can feel like we may not matter that much,” said Featherweight. “But nopony ever thinks less of another for being a boy or a girl.”

“You got that right,” said Spike.

Session 10.15 Kendell2 (Based off this scene: youtu.be/DrmN6epBVNI )

"Wait wait, so what just happened?" Rainbow Dash asked, the groups mecha having gotten collectively thrashed by the arrival of THREE members of the alien parasite faction all nearly as strong as what they'd THOUGHT was the leader of that faction, which they'd just destroyed in a grueling boss fight.

"Well you see EL-01 wasn't their ACTUAL leader: he was a terminal program for their REAL leader, who's part of the control core for the program running the parasites," Twilight explained. She blinked when she got blank stares. "...He was just the avatar for the ACTUAL controller of them...It's a new module."

"Ugh...I hate force loss scenarios!" Rainbow muttered. "Guess we'll have to retreat an-"

"Not so fast!" Trixie announced, getting a cocky look on her face. "Twilight, in case you haven't noticed, Trixie hasn't used any her mecha upgrade points yet!"

Twilight blinked. She'd noticed that: Trixie hadn't used ANY of her upgrades, only using her level ups to power her mecha up enough to keep the support role it was designed for. "Yeah..."

The showmare gave a smirk. "This is a Manega inspired RPG, Trixie expected there'd be a part of the game where you'd throw something like this. So now I trade in ALL my upgrades for a new mecha instead of repairing Dazzling Spectacle!"

Twilight's eyes went wide. "What?! ALL of them?!"

Trixie put a new bio up to Twilight.

"It's alternate mode is a BATTLESHIP?!" Twilight asked in shock.

"Called Majesty's Arc. The command bridge can transform into a miniture mecha called Majesty, or the entire vessel can transform into Queen Majesty!" Trixie announced dramatically. This naturally meant Queen Majesty was GIGANTIC, but with the amount of levels she fed into it, that was no surprise.

"You...you planned this?!" Twilight asked. Naturally the plan was for all the mecha to be upgraded or replaced with ones strong enough to deal with the new threat, but Trixie had outright skipped that part.

'Been looking for a chance to make you all forget that time I accidentally nuked the game board,' Trixie thought.

"Trixie expected there'd be a 'midseason upgrade' necessitating boss, classic manega plot point. Barely any without it that have upgrades. Looks like she was right," she said, giving a smirk.

The Princess of Friendship tried to regain her composure. "O-Okay..."

Rainbow Dash patted Trixie on the back. "Nice one." Normally she'd be a bit upset at being outshined by Trixie...but it was admittedly hilarious to see Twilight's forced loss situation blow up in her face.

"Thank you. Now, Majesty's Arc, launch!" Trixie announced in the hammy fashion required for her mecha running on hotbloodedness. Being Trixie, her mecha's entrance involved emerging from a freaking VOLCANO. "Fire main cannons!"

Twilight did the rolls as did Trixie...and Trixie got a max strike. "You...you almost destroy one Prime-evil in one hit...They consider you the greatest threat and the two intact ones converge while the third starts regenerating."

Trixie won her defense roll, the others choosing to let her handle the fight and retreat for repairs. "Transform!"

Twilight found that Trixie had already gone for the defense shields on her mecha for transformations, and as a result, the Prime-evils' attacks did next to nothing on the vulnerable round.

"QUEEN! MAJESTY!" Trixie announced dramatically, the theatrics getting a boost for her next attack roll. "Fire all cannons! Spread!"

Trixie's next attack stunned one of the beasts, allow Trixie to perform a follow up. The other monster's attack failed to do much of anything to the behemoth, allowing Trixie to smash it down as well.

"The one you attacked at first has regenerated and initiates it's grab attack!" Twilight announced.

Trixie won her roll to break free of the assault. With only a few blows Trixie had damaged all three.

"Now to end it! MAJESTY ARROW!" Trixie announced in her most over the top and hammy way.

Twilight stared at the result. "You...you destroy two of them, claiming their cores, the third one is critically wounded...it retreats..."

Trixie gave a bow. "Trixie knows how to make a show of it..."

Twilight wasn't TOO mad, after all those WERE the first three, while Trixie had a BIG headstart, the others would be more on her level, but she'd just been dumbfounded Trixie had known enough about manega to see it coming!

Session 10.16 BrutalityInc

"Now, Rainbow Dash, what have we learnt today?" Twilight Sparkle asked.

"'Don't bite more than you can chew.' Yeah, I got that; they keep telling us since summer flight school." Rainbow Dash groaned.

"Yes, but it seems to be a lesson hasn't stuck, darling." Rarity snarked, "I though you would had learnt that since you kicked that dragon in the snout."

"ONE silly mistake, and you'll never hear the end of it!" Rainbow Dash grumbled, turning away from Rarity in a huff, brooding.

"Now you know how Trixie feels regarding her own undeserved reputation." Trxie remarked. She paused to take a sip of her strawberry slush before continuing, "Trixie is curious, though, WHAT exactly did Rainbow Dash do that warranted such a lesson?"

"We were playing the tabletop RPG adaptation of that popular adventure RPG video-game series; you know, the one where a Great War fought with balefire bombs reduced Equestria and the world into a post-apocalyptic wasteland?"

"Oh, that! It would had been a great loss to Trixie if she had never been an avid fan of that franchise!" Trixie said, suddenly enthusiastic, "Trixie recalls fun times in one game where she got a mission concerning a quarry infested with deadly mutant monsters, and spent a whole night in-game clearing them out with her companion - all without being seen even ONCE by those cretins!"

"Well, in any case, it was very early in our campaign, when we were still low-level characters with very low-level gear. We were just finished scavenging in an abandoned, ruined town, and was moving on..." Rarity shook her head, "When we met a wild monster on the road."

"It was a bear, a queasy-lookin', giant mutant bear." Applejack elaborated "It was righ' off the road we were travelling, sniffing around for food amongs some rustin' vehicles."

"The poor thing; it wasn't being aggressive, and it didn't even noticed us." Fluttershy said, "I suggested that we leave it be and move on, and most of the others agreed, saying that it was too high level for take on anyway..."

"... And that was when Rainbow decides to pick a fight with it." Trixie finished it for Fluttershy.

"With a pipe-gun of all things." Rarity further elaborated. "Needless to say, Rainbow's character was badly wounded and we all barely escaped with our lives."

"Consarnit, Rainbow Dash, WHAT WERE YAH THINKIN'?!" Applejack exclaimed.

"I thought we were on top of the world at the time, alright?" Rainbow Dash defended, "Last session, we fought off a whole assault by raiders to protect a bunch of settlers, and I even took down a mutant lizard monster that got drawn in by the commotion! That thing was far deadlier than that mutant bear."

"You were wearing power armor at the time, Dash! And had a minigun with yah fer that mission!" Applejack scolded, "If yah had gone lookin' fer more power cells and ammunition fer the armor and gun, and maybe even bothered tah repair it, at least yah could had brought it with yah for the mutant bear fight!"

"It's not like we found any of that in the wasteland yet!" Rainbow Dash retorted. "And how should I know that mutant bear was that tough?"

"Did yah even READ the wasteland guide, yah hot-headed fool?!"

Trixie and the others shook their heads, and returned to their drinks as the two bickered on.

Session 10.17 Alex Warlorn

"GIRLS! We've got trouble!" Spike ran out of the castle to the cafe that Twilight, Rarity, and Applejack were enjoying lunch (Fluttershy was with Discord. And Pinkie Pie, by royal command, was STILL doing her Rainbows and Crystal sessions with Tirek, much to her own misery and Tirek's delight, last they heard, he'd gotten Ponyville to give up its sovereignty and was now part of Unicornia without any acts of violence what so ever, just asking very nicely one inch and pony at a time).

"Are Apple Bloom and her friends LARPin' again?" Applejack asked.

"Almost as bad! After Rainbow Dash lost to Starlight Glimmer over that stupid card game, she insisted they play another game!"

"What's so bad about that?" Twilight asked. "I know Rainbow can be stubborn until she scores a win but-"

"The game they chose was Hold And Hooficure, Cherry Alert."

"I repeat, what's so bad about that?"

"Remember that time Fluttershy ran that O&O game where she had the breezie queen use a diplomacy check on YOU?" Spike said.

The ponies stood silent moment, then went collective, "UH-OH!"

The ran inside the crystal tree castle, and found the cutie mark map being used as game map for the game session. A blue and a red army clashed, little figures representing soldiers, tanks, attack animals, planes, installations, factories other objects of war.

On one side was Rainbow Dash, wearing a pair of gold general shoulder pads, looking overwhelmed, and out of her element. Her armies were in disarray, and her navy was practically non-existent. Her air force was significantly better, and was basically holding the entire line by itself, but lacked ground support.

On the other side of the table, wearing an officer's hat straight from Stalliongrad, was Starlight Glimmer, grinning ear to ear at over half the board bearing her flag, equally spread out. Her armies the picture of efficiently and order, equally crushing anything that stood in their way.

"YES! YES COMRADES! We move closer to Canterlot now, and shall crush the capitalist pig-diamond dogs! All shall be equal in the new utopia!" Starlight raised her arms dramatically.

"Go commander!" Equal Suri saluted, grinning ear to ear sitting at the table's side lines.

"Starlight?" Twilight said.

Glimmer looked at Twilight, grinning wider. "Twilight! Have you come to witness my glorious liberation of Equestria from the tyranny of capitalist elitism?"

"You know what an intervention is?"

"Sure! We had them in Our Town whenever some pony started having selfish thoughts. They always thanked us afterwards."

"... We need to talk."

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Session 10.0 SomeRandomMinion
Session 10.1 BrutalityInc (For reference: Midnight)
Session 10.2 Kichi
Session 10.3 Alex Warlorn
Session 10.4 Alex Warlorn
Session 10.5 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 10.6 Mooncalf99
Session 10.7 Alex Warlorn
Session 10.8 Kendell2
Session 10.9 Alex Warlorn
Session 10.10 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 10.11 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 10.12 Ardashir
Session 10.13 Kendell2 OOC: Let's face it, Starlight would probably love G3 because empathy and treating others well is a UNIVERSAL fact there. It's an EQUAL world were no pony is treated as lesser.
Session 10.14 Richforce (Based on Xenogears Chronicles X and contains minor story spoilers.)/i]
Session 10.15 Kendell2 (Based off this scene: youtu.be/DrmN6epBVNI )
Session 10.16 BrutalityInc
Session 10.17 Alex Warlorn

Cover art by Jittery-the-Dragon.

Session 11

Session 11

Session 11.0 Kendell2

While Twilight dealt with Starlight's intervention, Celestia had an idea to help Pinkie Pie in her game with Tirek.

"Hey Tirek, we've got another player," Pinkie said in a sing song voice.

"Certainly Pinkie Pie," Tirek said in his smug, normal tone.

"Hello, Tirek, how are you doing?"

Tirek's smug expression promptly died as a tall figure walked up. He had crimson wings and brown fur, standing on two legs. A belt with golden rivets. He looked old, but not nearly to the point of Tirek, and appeared in much better shape. Atop his head was a familar golden crown. "YOU!"

Scorpan smiled. "Long time no see, brother."

Tirek's reaction was to try and throttle his younger brother through the bars...then screaming in pain as the blessed iron bars burned his dark magically mutated flesh.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

"I'm here to play a game with my big brother, like the old days," Scorpan replied, making his brother even angrier by the fact he DIDN'T act as upset to see his brother as Tirek did.

"I am NOT playing with him!" Tirek screamed as loudly as his old, weakened body could manage.

"What's wrong, brother? Afraid I'll be too much for you?" Scorpan asked.

Tirek snarled in rage. "NEVER! I won't give you the satisfaction!"

However, controlling his impulses wasn't something Tirek was very good at, and his sheer rage at the sight of his sibling combined with Scorpan being the one being on the planet who knew him well enough to successfully counter his manipulations changed the landscape of the game quite a bit. His temper only worsened due to the fact his brother made NO attempt to show anger or frustration in return, only acting like they were still two princes back home at their old place.

Session 11.1 Mooncalf99

"...And with one last roll of duct tape, you finally get your jury-rigged space roadster to hang together properly," Twilight declared.

"About time," Trixie snarked. "Exactly how many botches did you roll, Dash?"

"Hey, it's not my fault the dice decided to hate me tonight," Rainbow protested loudly. "Besides, Smarts isn't my best stat. I'm just glad Twilight's letting me use Cool for my jury-rigging rolls."

"You are aware that there's a difference between 'looks like it's fixed' and 'is fixed', right?" Twilight said.

"I know, but Wings Maximus doesn't," Rainbow said. "And what you don't know can't hurt you. Right?"

"I second that motion!" Pinkie exclaimed. She looked at the empty seats at the table. "So we are gaming without the others tonight?"

Twilight nodded. "You wanted to run a separate adventure, so this was the best idea. I have it all worked out, don't worry. I've always wanted to try something like this, anyway."

"Yeah, I run another perimeter check in case any of those goody-four-shoes are spying on us," Gilda said. "Do I need to roll anything?"

"Let me roll for you," Twilight said, throwing a die behind her screen. "We don't want any 'uh oh, I just failed a spot check' situations, do we?"

"Hmph," Gilda muttered. "C'mon, let's launch this tub already."

"Tub?" Rainbow Dash said, sounding offended. "This baby's a beauty! The finest combination of primo alien tech and Equestrian vehicle design!"

"I thought it was a flying saucer you duct-taped to a chariot," Starlight said.

"It's... more... it's, like, combined and stuff," Rainbow said, sounding REALLY offended. "C'mon, you can't diss our cool ride!"

"Yes, it's cool," Trixie said. "But it could be cooler! Bright Light grabs a few spraycans and gives it a new paintjob!"

"Hey! Don't mess it up! Trixie!" Rainbow protested.

Trixie stuck out her tongue at Rainbow and rolled. "Watch in awe as Trixie rolls a majestic fifteen! Okay, Bright Light does a glorious airbrushed display of rainbows, shooting stars, a sexily posed Luna, and Starswirl the Bearded karate-punching a horde of changelings."

"Somehow, you manage to make all that look good," Twilight said. She gave Trixie a curious look. "Somehow. Gilda, you find no trespassers."

"So, are we ready to go?" Starlight asked.

"You sure you wanna let your bad half come along, Starlight?" Pinkie asked. "Didn't you say when you rolled your character that you didn't like being split up for too long?"

"I know, but... this is too interesting," Starlight said, smiling softly. "As long as Twilight says I can go along with it, I will. Also, Lib and Ra aren't really 'good' and 'bad'. It's more like Superego and Id, and..." She looked at her uncomprehending fellow players. "Nevermind."

"I know what you're getting at," Twilight said. "And I don't mind if you use your powers for having fun. Anyway, if you don't have anything else to do, you can board now. You did list everything you're taking with you, right? I'll be strict about that, you know. Anything not on the list, you don't have it."

"It's okay, it just makes improvising more challenging," Pinkie said. She pushed over a sheet. "Here you go! Food, clean underwear, Bright Light's autographed merchandise in case of alien fans, more food, lots of duct tape, a box of spare sunglasses, three tubs of polyepoxide cupcake icing... tastes horrible, but it'll patch up the ship just fine. Two spare blivets, oxygen tanks, helium tanks--"

"Why helium?" Twilight asked.

"In case we need to amuse alien foals, duh!" Pinkie replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Now, there's also--"

"I think I can read the rest myself," Twilight said, picking up the surprisingly long list and looking it over. Sometimes she forgot that Pinkie had a very organized side, hidden away under the recklessly spontaneous exterior. "Okay then. Good thing you have a big trunk to hold it all in. So you all pile into the chariot section and start the engine. Wings is piloting, I suppose?"

"I call shotgun!" Pinkie cried.

"Prepare for takeoff!" Gilda announced. "In ten! Nine! Eight! Sev--"

"WAAAIT!" Rainbow Dash suddenly cried. "Guys, I forgot. I'm... afraid of heights."

"Oh, for Grover's sake," Gilda snapped. "So you take a few penalties. Big deal."

"No, I've thought about this, and I think the whole thing's too much for Wings," Rainbow said. "I can't do this."

"So, what, is this the bit where we have an uplifting sidequest about curing his fears with the power of confidence and friendship?" Starlight suggested.

"Nah, takes too long," Gilda said. "I make Wings look the other way and render him unconscious with the Awesomoid nerve pinch."

"I'm not sure you have that skill," Twilight said.

"Then I bludgeon him unconscious with a lead pipe and dump him in the back seat," Gilda said. "Same difference. Now can we go? I'll drive."

"Nuh-uh!" Pinkie protested. "I called shotgun, so I get to drive!"

"I still have a lead pipe," Gilda pointed out.

"Rock, paper, scissors?" Pinkie suggested. Gilda nodded. On the count of three, Gilda held up her claw held together, and Pinkie held up her hoof. "Oh, shoot. I forgot I can only do rock. Fine, but I still get shotgun. Does it come with an actual shotgun?"

"It's not on the list," Twilight said. "Okay, so after some rearranging, you're finally seated and strapped in, and your jury-rigged engines start up. You miraculously don't explode, and soon soar into the sky and the blue yonder."

"Woo!" Pinkie cried.

"This calls for a guitar solo," Trixie said. "Bright Light rocks out! You hear me, Equestria? This star is going back into the sky!"

Twilight looked over her notes. "Now, you're flying for a while, when--" Suddenly there was a knock on the palace door. "Now what? I told Spike to keep the others busy, so..."

The doors slammed open, and a white stallion barged into the room, skidding to a halt before the table. "Twilight!" Shining Armor gasped, catching his breath. "You've got to hide me!"

Twilight stared at her brother and blinked. "Girls? Let's take a break."

(To Be Continued... )

Session 11.2 Alex Warlorn

Meanwhile, in the human world, during one of Princess Twilight's visits...

Princess Twilight, along with Sunset Shimmer and the human counter parts of the Elements of Harmony... were passing by one of Canterlot high's soccer field.

"Ugh. Can't those guys do that in their own backyard where noone has to see them and they don't have to take up space for me to practice?" Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes.

"Rainbow, you could USE less practice! Miss 'Captain Of Every Sports Team', except the boys' teams." Applejack said.

"She's right Rainbow," Fluttershy of all people admitted. "You practice so much.. your grades weren't doing so well."

"So what? I can get into collage on a sports scholarship."

Rarity then had her say. "Not if your grades drop so low you're no longer ALLOWED to play."

"... Since when is that a thing?"

"SINCE ALWAYS!"

"... Uh-oh." Rainbow Dash's lovely blue skin turned a shade paler.

"What are they doing?" Sunset Shimmer asked steering the discussion back on course.

"I think they're... LARPing." Twilight said narrowing her eyes (no she did NOT need glasses, thank you very much!).

"Playing harps?"

"No no no silly, Live Action Role Playing! Ya know, playing pretend!" Pinkie Pie corrected.

"Aren't they a little old for that?" Sunset said looking at the group too.

"You're never too old for playing pretend!" Pinkie Pie stamped her foot.

"I have to agree with Pinkie Pie Sunset," Twilight said, "One of the childish things to put away growing up is the fear of being childish. And it's not like they're hurting any pony, I mean anyone."

One of the LARPers meanwhile (one of the Diamond Digger trio), dramatically waved his foam-core sword around and said. "For south! We have defeated the ancient dark shadow warlock and ended his threat forever... but alas... now magic shall vanish from the world forever, and people will now have to work hard rather than rely not the easy lives magic gives-HEY!"

"HEY YOURSELF JERK!" Princess Twilight snarled, "WHO GAVE YOU THE IDEA THAT MAGIC WAS EASY?! IT'S HARD WORK CELESTIA BANISH IT! WHO WROTE THIS ADVENTURE? I WANT A NAME YOU-HEY! STOP! LET ME GO! PUT ME DOWN! I COMMAND YE!"

Applejack's lasso had tied around Twilight's waist, and had dragged her away from the LARPers, and then she had been picked up the cowgirl who carried here away from the scene she was making.

"Sorry Twili', yer my friend, but ya ain't princess, this is for yer own good, believe me."

"Sunset! Help!"

"Sure Twilight! Hey! Is that Flash Sentry over there?"

Twilight's face brightened up. "Really?! Where?!"

Properly distracted, Twilight only momentarily felt Pinkie Pie's joy buzzer giving her a mild electric shock that sent her into la-la-land.

Session 11.3 Kendell2 (OOC: Inspired by the game series Just Cause.)

"...Rainbow Dash brought this game in, didn't she?" Twilight asked.

The game in question could best be described as 'every action movie ever, the RPG'.

Rainbow Dash chuckled. "What can I say? It seemed like fun."

"So how's this work?" Applejack asked, looking it over.

"Oh, well you see, your characters are trying to free a nation from an evil dictator!"

"And how do you do that?"

Rainbow Dash smirked. "You blow stuff up!"

Twilight blinked. "Uh...what kind of stuff."

"Everything that's red."

"Why red?"

"I don't know, guess it's the dictator's color! But I mean seriously, the game has magic that emulates the explosions!"

Rarity looked at the weapon and vehicle list. "...It appears the game isn't very stingy on ways to do that..."

"I know, right?!" the cyan pegasus asked.

Pinkie Pie looked at the description. "It says 'Michael Bray approved'."

Session 11.4 Ardashir

"Applejack?" Twilight waved the papers in her magical grip under the palomino's nose. "This adventure you came up with?"

"Huh?" AJ looked at it. Huge and ugly bulls were on the cover, menacing a group of ponies that looked a lot like the Element Bearers. "What's wrong with it? Ya suggested Ah come up with an idea, so Ah did. What's wrong with savin' some ponies from no-good cattle rustlers?"

"It's just, well," Twilight's horn glowed. "You have me in it."

"Well, yeah, Ah wouldn't want ta leave any o' mah friends out of it."

"Thanks but," Twilight took it back and flipped through some pages. "You have the bulls running amok all over these poor ponies. What's to stop me from just using my magic to grab them all at once and have them jailed until the law handles it? Or having Spike send a message to Celestia and asking her to send some Guardsponies or the like?"

"Oh! Well, uh..." AJ rubbed her chin. "Ah guess Ah'm kinda used ta dealin' with problems th' Earth Pony way. Maybe Spike's somewhere else an' you got a horn cold so ya can''t use magic?" She cringed at Twilight''s frown. "Ah... there's some kinda law preventin' ya from using magic on anypony that ain't got magic?" Twilight's frown deepened. Applejack pulled her hat over her face.

"AJ, maybe it would be better to have both me AND Spike just be 'somewhere else'?" Applejack looked downfallen. Twilight nuzzled her friend. "I know you want me to be a part of it, but even as a unicorn I could have settled this too fast for it to be a good story. Maybe I could have some other character in the town? A deputy, or maybe the schoolmarm?" Applejack began to look smile as Twilight said, "That way I can be there and help without overpowering it."

Session 11.5 Alex Warlorn

"So what's this game Pinkie Pie?" Rainbow Dash asked. She and the rest of the mane six sat in Sugarcube Corner, with a door straight to the kitchen.

"Oh it's a great game! It's from Neighpon! I had to get to a friend to translate it since it's never had an official release export to Equestria! But you'll love it! It's called Fighting Food-Ton! You bake cupcakes, cookies, make sandwiches, any kind of food you can think of, and you have them fight each other! Can you rise through the ranks and become the ultimate Fighting Food-Ton Chef? And of course you get to eat the pieces when you're done playing! Doesn't that sound great girls? Hey! Where are you all going?!"

Session 11.5 Alex Warlorn

"So what's this one?" Rainbow Dash asked, looking at a large hexagon grid, showing a map of Equestria, and several smaller maps also using hexagons. There were also several game tokens of various types.

The rest of the mane six, plus Starlight Glimmer, were present. Spike said he was playing a solo adventure for 'Buttons'/Suri.

"Oh, it's a sort of strategic horror game." Glimmer said smiling.

"Horror?" Fluttershy shrank some.

"Oh there's no real violence or gore involved, in fact the game discourages killing."

"Oh, that's good." Fluttershy smiled.

"So ... what is the premise darling?" Rarity asked politely.

"It's rather simply, vampires, werewolves, zombies, and the likes, are on the rise, too much on the rise on fact. There simply aren't enough ponies to go around. You play the various movie monsters who are out to assimilate as many ponies' as possible while eliminating or assimilating the competition. Naturally, some factions are immune to assimilation by others."

"This game's premise seems kinda familiar." Applejack said flatly.

Glimmer missed on AJ's tone. "Well, like I said, there's vampire, werewolves, zombies, but also mummies-"

"Aren't those a type of zombie?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"No no no, they're nothing alike. Windigos-"

"WINDIGOS?!"

"Uh, here they're ponies who are infected with a parasite that feeds off hate until it grows strong enough to mutate the body. Plant Ponies. Robo-Ponies. And also fox-mares-from-spaces."

"Fox-mares-from-space?" Twilight asked.

"That one was... kinda chosen by one of donators, this game got its start on Pay-Trot." Glimmer explained. "Also, ponies are their own faction, and can mutate and turn some of the others into their own kind too, but are vulnerable to assimilation by all the other factions. There are also 'leader' units, like Dracula for the vampires that you can only have one in your faction at a time. And there are a few other factions from the expansion packs, that I bought of course."

Twilight said picking up a piece of one of the pony 'commander' units. "Starlight.... I can't help but notice that the high rank pony player pieces look sort of like you."

Glimmer blushed. "Heh-heh, I might have gotten some bonuses when I donated bits to this game on Pay-Trot."

Session 11.7 Mooncalf99

Shining Armor took a deep breath and tried to collect himself. He then noticed the others in the room, and the collected roleplaying detritus covering the table. "Oh. Um. Hey. Are you girls playing a game?"

"Yes, we are," Twilight said. "BBBFF, what's going on? Is there some kind of trouble?"

"Oh, great," Rainbow Dash groused. "Some big bad evil guy's broken out of Tartarus or an evil mirror or something, and now we have to run off and rainbowize 'em and it'll be days before we can get the game back on. And then they'll turn good and want to join in."

"Well, excuse me," Starlight huffed.

"Sometimes I wonder why these ponies bother playing roleplaying games," Trixie said to Gilda.

Gilda shrugged. "Real life doesn't hand out as much cool loot, I guess."

"What?" Shining Armor said in confusion. "No, I... no, no, it's nothing like that. It's just... it's Cadence. You know how some mares get, you know, weird cravings? When they're... you know?"

"Oh, do we ever!" Pinkie exclaimed. "Mrs Cake wanted to eat all sorts of crazy stuff when she had her buns in the oven. Weeeeird stuff. Gave me some interesting new recipes, though. Ever tried pickled durian with wasabi-cinnamon cream filling? It'll clear your sinuses out. And your stomach."

Shining Armor stared at Pinkie in the traditional manner of an unused-to-Pinkie pony trying futilely to comprehend what she just said, followed by him trying to put it clear out of his mind. "Okay... yeah, well, Cadence decided to go the extra mile. She doesn't want snacks. Instead she wants to run a game called 'Pony-Occupied Landfill'."

Silence reigned around the table.

"Heh, a classic," Gilda chuckled. "Not for weak spines, though."

"And she wants Sombra and Chrysalis at the table," Shining continued.

"Isn't he... kinda... dead, or something?" Pinkie asked. "I'm pretty sure he was blown to smithereens by the Crystal Heart. You don't usually get back up from that. Outside of bad fanfiction and non-canon comic book arcs, I mean."

"Speaking as somepony with experience of insanity, I'd say she's lost it," Trixie said. "Loco in the coco. Round the bend. Truly gone fishing."

Shining shook his head. "It's not that bad, she... she'll be fine in a while. I left Flash Sentry to keep an eye on her."

"So you threw him under the chariot and ran off to hide," Rainbow scoffed. "Class act."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Never mind that. Sure, you can stay for a while, but you better make it up to Cadence. And to Flash."

"Yeah, yeah..." He looked over the table, and looked with some confusion at Starlight, Trixie and Gilda. "So... what're you playing? And where's Spike and the other girls? Aren't you a pretty tight group?"

"We're doing a split-group thing at the moment, so they're not here at the moment," Twilight said. "We're playing 'Teenaged Ponies From Outer Space'."

"Not familiar with that..." Shining mused. "So it's got aliens?"

"No, the 'space' in the title refers to the one between your ears, doofus," Gilda snarked.

Shining frowned. "Excuse me?"

"Never mind that," Twilight said with an eyeroll. "Yes, lots of aliens. With bug eyes and claws and zapguns."

"And they're attacking Equestria?" Shining ventured.

"No!" Starlight protested. "No, not at all. Well, sometimes, but only by accident. Technically."

"I waged war on a Hayburger's for refusing to sell breakfast even though it was clearly before eleven," Pinkie said blithely.

"In a game, or in real life?" Trixie asked.

Pinkie nodded. "Yes."

"They're not waging war on Equestria," Twilight said pointedly. "There's being inventive and there's trying to skip the rails completely. Correct?" Hearing no objections, she continued, "Anyway, they're the player characters, and they have a quest to undertake. Shining, do you want to join in, or...?"

"They are...?" Shining said in bemusement. "Ah, no, it's okay. I don't want to crash the game. But I wanna sit in, if it's okay. Been a while since I've seen you GM. It'll be good to see how you do."

"I've got no problems with that," Twilight said. "Girls?" The players just shrugged. "Okay then. You've just taken off from Equestria, doing a pointless but impressive-looking slingshot maneuver around the sun, and staying as far away from the moon as possible, in accordance with the court order."

Trixie muttered something rude under her breath.

"Wings Maximus is still passed out in the back seat, but may awaken anytime he feels appropriate. You're soaring along at a pretty good speed, and you're certain you're going in the right direction," Twilight continued. "Navigational equipment might have been a good idea, but..."

"The Horsehead Nebula is, like, right over there," Rainbow Dash said, pointing in a random direction. "We can't miss it."

"Wait, isn't that more than a thousand light years from Equestria?" Shining Armor said suddenly. "How fast is this ship you have?"

"It's pretty fast, I guess?" Rainbow Dash said.

"Shoulda painted it red," Pinkie said with a giggle. "Red wuns go fastah!"

"Can I just look at the stats?" Shining asked.

Pinkie looked over the inventory list. "Sorry, Captain. It's not on the list, so we didn't bring any!"

"No, I mean real stats," Shining persevered. "You know, hit points, maximum speed, features, that sort of thing."

"Oh, that? I'm winging it," Twilight said dismissively.

"Winging it?" He stared in disbelief at his sister. "You?"

"Believe it, mister," Rainbow Dash said with a smirk. "I for one am proud of her."

"Well, that's interesting..." he mused.

"For what it's worth, we're currently sitting in what is technically a racing chariot duct-taped to a crashed flying saucer and powered with a piece of black-box changeling technology," Starlight explained. "It's probably a complete death trap, but the part of me who handles concern and worry is back in Equestria, so I just don't care." She beamed happily.

"It's fast enough, we know where we're going, everything's coming up roses," Trixie declared proudly. "Did I mention I was rocking out? Because I was." She started air guitaring wildly. "Weeeow! Wee! You hear this, space? Equestrian pop sensation Bright Light is here to rock!"

"Dude," Gilda said. She slapped her claw against her face. "Okay, I take the guitar and hit her with it."

"You do remember that you destroyed Manehattan the last time you two fought, right?" Starlight said. "And then you became friends. It was really touching. But we're in space. Also, you're in the front seat and driving."

"So? It's not like we'll crash into a fruit cart or anything while I'm not looking," Gilda said. "I just crawl over the seat."

"Ah, but the moment you get away, I take the reins!" Pinkie said triumphantly. "Wheel. Controls. Whatever we're steering with."

"Like bloody Tartarus you will!" Gilda barked. "Hey, Dashie! You do something about the noisemaker, okay?"

"Sorry, I'm pretending to be passed out here," Rainbow said with a grin.

"Pretending?" Starlight asked.

"Well, I'm squeezed in between two hot ponies, or at least one pony and a pony-like thing," Rainbow explained. "Might as well enjoy it for a while."

"Wait, your alien is... interested in ponies?" Shining asked uncertainly.

Rainbow just shrugged. "Wings might be an alien, but he's still a teenaged guy. Puberty takes no prisoners."

"And the fiery and incandescent Bright Light is the very essence of hotness!" Trixie declared majestically, still strumming an imaginary guitar. "Ra's cute too, I guess," she added. "I crank up the music further, making sure to be heard for miles around."

"Sound doesn't travel through vaccum, though," Twilight said.

"Bah! Says who?" Trixie scoffed. "Bright Light scoffs at that! She breaks the laws of physics at every opportunity!"

"True, you do that," Twilight said. She made a note to have Trixie's character chased down by the 'physics police' at a later date. That might be fun. "Fair enough. Your latest hit single echoes through the void, even though it shouldn't, and lets everything in the area know how great and powerful you think you are."

"Five years ago, you'd have refused to go along with that," Shining said.

"Five years ago, she didn't know me," Pinkie replied smugly. "I stand up in my seat and wave my six arms around like I just don't care." She paused in thought. "I guess I'll have to open the roof first... wait. Does this thing have a roof?"

"That's a very good question," Twilight said. She grinned. "Chariots don't come with roofs, after all. And let's face it, Wings isn't exactly a brilliant engineer."

"Yes, but I'm pretty sure she, I mean, he wouldn't have overlooked something obvious like that," Starlight said. "Right?"

"Yeah, that's..." Rainbow paused. "Wait, no. Wings doesn't need to breathe, so he might actually have overlooked that. Okay, Smarts roll to decide?" She rolled. "Ugh. Four's not enough, is it?"

Twilight shook her head. "All of you realize suddenly that you have no air."

"Total party kill, huh?" Shining said, smirking a bit. "I guess you have to retcon things back to earlier. Or roll new characters?"

"Don't be silly," Twilight said. "This is where things get interesting. Girls, what do you do?"

"I blame Wings for this," Gilda said.

"Save the blame game for later. About the air situation?" Twilight insisted.

"Oh, that." Gilda snickered. "Yeah, I don't care. I'm too awesome for air. Who told you you needed oxygen, huh? Some loser who was trying to make you feel small. Am I right?"

"Fair enough," Twilight said. "Wings... yes, you just said. And Trixie, I guess Bright Light is right at home in deep space?"

"Other than a deplorable dearth of screaming, adoring fans, yes," Trixie said. "She came to Equestria for a reason. But yes, she'll be fine."

"Wait, that's it?" Shining protested. "'I'm too awesome for air'? You can just decide to ignore stuff like that?"

Gilda slammed her claws on the table. "What's your deal, huh? All I hear from you is complaining and whining!"

"Gilda, please," Twilight admonished. "It's okay, my brother just takes his games seriously. Shining Armor, just relax. It's not a serious game. I've got everything in hoof."

"I just don't see it," Shining said. "I mean... how can you do the game right if there's no rules?"

"I know what you mean," she said. "I was confused too, at first. But there are rules and guidelines that I am sticking to, and it works. You just have to play a little loose at times."

"Yeah, I guess you know what you're doing..." He took a deep breath and turned to Gilda. "Sorry about that, uh... Gilda, was it?"

"Whatever, dude," the griffon said, rolling her eyes. "Just don't be a chump, okay?"

"Let's get back on track," Twilight said. "Hungry, Ra? What are you doing to deal with this?"

"Oh dear..." Starlight said worriedly. "We did bring along oxygen tanks, correct?"

"Yes, but those won't last for long," Twilight said. "They're enough for an emergency solution, though."

"Ooh, I've got an idea!" Pinkie cried. "Right, so according to astrophysics, stars turn light elements into heavier elements, like hydrogen into helium, right?"

"When the hay did you study astrophysics?" Rainbow asked, incredulous.

Pinkie rolled her eyes. "I need to be up-to-date on the contextual jokes, duh," she said, again as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "How can I gab about advanced sciency spacey stuff if I don't know enough about it? Being funny is hard work!"

"So you're the one who's been leaving textbooks all over the library!" Twilight accused. "I told Spike I wasn't responsible for the mess, but he wouldn't believe me!"

"...Sorry?" Pinkie had the grace to look a little ashamed. "Anyway, I'm right, right? Stars are, like, heavenly ovens, turning simple ingredients into bigger treats, correct?"

"That's a very Pinkie way of putting it," Twilight said with a light smile. "Okay, I'll accept that, on the caveat that you won't try to abuse this later."

"Pinkie promise," Pinkie said. "So that means that Brighty could make a little extra oxygen on request, right? It'd be like artificial respiration... the kiss of life!" She wiggled her eyebrows meaningfully.

"Oh, I see where this is going," Trixie said. "No. Absolutely not. Bright Light will not kiss you. No way!"

"What, I'm not pretty enough for you?" Pinkie mock-pouted.

"I'm not worried about that," Trixie said with a frown. "I'm more concerned about, oh yeah, the fact that you have more teeth than the Apple Family! You eat things that should not be eaten! You ate Wings once!"

"That was an accident," Pinkie said. "Technically. And he was fine afterwards."

"Not taking the risk," Trixie insisted.

"Tease. I guess I'll just have to hold my breath." Pinkie nudged Starlight. "But what about Ra? You said she was pretty earlier."

"Wait, what?" Starlight said.

"That's different," Trixie said. She leered at Starlight. "That's very different."

"I, ah, I'm not sure if this is appropriate," Starlight said hastily. "I mean, I'm still trying to understand friendship! Right?"

"Well, you could consider it a... beneficial friendship lesson," Trixie suggested with a wink.

"Is this also part of the game?" Shining whispered to his sister. "Because I never saw this kind of activity at my table."

"Yes, it is," Twilight whispered back. "And you never gamed with Trixie. Don't worry, I've got this." She raised her voice. "Suddenly, a pirate ship emerges from behind an asteroid! They attack! What do you do?"

"Oh, ponyfeathers, hornblocked again," Trixie mused, not looking very upset about it. She leaned over to Pinkie. "Did we just provoke the GM into giving us a distraction?"

Pinkie giggled. "We totally did. Now let's fight some pirates!"

Meanwhile, at Sweet Apple Acres...

The dice skittered across the playing field made up of colorful hexagons. "Seven," Fluttershy said. "Oh, that means I get to move the robber, right? Um, sorry, Applejack, but I'll have to put him on your territory. You're kind of... winning." She moved a little black horse figurine over to one area, next to some orange houses.

"Flutters, ya don't have to apologize fer that," Applejack said. "It's fair an' square." She fanned her cards so Fluttershy could take one of them.

"I'm feeling a little left out," Discord groused.

"You are?" Fluttershy asked. "I'm sorry, do you want to... trade some wheat?"

"No, not this game," Discord corrected. "The others are having a secret session over at Sparklebutt's place, and we're not in it. Also, those blue dunderheads have taken to calling themselves the 'bad team', which makes us the 'good team' by comparison, and I don't like it!" He slammed his paw against the table, sending it flipping through the air before it landed back in place. Not-so-miraculously, everything was still in place, drinks and cards included, although Applejack's plate of apple fritters was in front of him now. He managed to eat one before she angrily took them back.

"Discord, you're not saying that you have a problem with being good, do you?" Fluttershy asked.

"Oh, of course not!" Discord replied sharply, not even bothering with some playful sight gag. "I've learned that lesson well enough, and you know it. I just... want a little creative outlet now and then, that's all. Maybe I should go over and--"

"Don't." Applejack sighed. "Ah'll talk to Twilight later. Ah'm sure she'll love a chance fer us ta mess up whatever trouble those girls are makin'. Now, whose turn is it?"

"My turn," Rarity said. She rolled the dice. "Nine. That's some wheat for Fluttershy, and lots of sheep for me. Trade some sheep for some wood?"

"Sure thing," Applejack said. She grinned. "Ah've got plenty o' wood fer yer sheep."

Rarity sighed. "You just had to say that, didn't you?"

Session 11.8 BrutalityInc

“Are Hooves and Muffins coming in tonight?” Octavia asked as she laid out snacks and game books on her kitchen table, dressed like an aristocrat.

“Yes, but they said they might be a bit late. They are going to be testing one of doc’s new invention to create some ‘special’ special effects for the Ponyville Costume Carnival tonight.” Lyra said, shrugging in her Appleloosan cow-pony costume, “Though if you ask me, they’re probably off playing the carnival games themselves. Can’t say I can blame them; tonight’s like Nightmare Night, only without the candy.”

“Indeed. Ponyville is going at it almost like a festival celebration.” Octavia nodded. She walked passed Vinyl Scratch, who was dressed like a mask-and-tuxedo-wearing phantom of an opera house, looking up and out the window, staring intensely at the full moon against the starry night. “It’s as if Ponyville enjoyed Nightmare Night festivities so much, they would have a second Nightmare Night in the middle of Summer. What would they call that festival, I wonder? Midsummer Night?”

“I take it tonight’s game is going to be something that fits the theme of the carnival?” Lyra asked.

“Yes, but it’s purely co-incidental. I had been wanting to try this for quite some time.” Octavia confirmed as she pulled out a box from a drawer and placed it on the table.

Vinyl Scratch nearly jumped when she turned and saw the title of the box.

“‘Hunter: The Vigilance’? Isn’t that game part of the ‘World of Shadows’ series by Albino Wolf Publishing? The company that also made ‘Vampire: The Bloodlust’ and ‘Werewolf: The Abandoned’?” Lyra asked, suddenly excited.

“The very same.” Octavia confirmed. “They also made ‘Demon: The Exiled’ and ‘Changeling: The Astray’, though they had to change the latter to ‘Fae: The Astray’ after the Canterlot Invasion.”

“So I heard, not that it made any difference; the Changelings we met does behave a lot like the Fae as we ponies imagined them, except for the part about them being bug-ponies...” Lyra said, remembering discussions with friends who share her fascination with mysterious creatures. “You have no idea how long I have spent trying to convince my pals at the Cryptid Club that Changelings and Vampires are different on many levels, should the latter exist. Rivals competing for the same food source, maybe, but Changelings are not vampires under a different name!”

“Well, here’s hoping Albino Wolf Publishing remembers to differentiate the two in their lore.” Octavia, “Of course, instead of playing as vampires or changelings, we play as the ponies who hunt them, as well as other monsters, as the title implies.”

Vinyl Scratch quietly whinnied, and gave a derisive snort as she leafed through the pages of the core gamebook. Lyra meanwhile read the supplementary booklets detailing all kinds of monsters with great interest.

“Too bad Bon Bon can’t join us tonight.” Lyra sighed, putting down a book “She’ll love to play this sort of campaign.”

“Oh, really? I never know our favourite candy pony has such an interest in this genre...” Octavia queried, her curiosity piqued.

“It – it’s not much of an interest. Just a hobby, if you will. Let’s say we’re... not on the same level when it comes to involvement with gothic horror, and other things abnormal and bizarre.” Lyra said, deflecting Octavia’s inquiry, “In any case though, she’s going to be mighty busy working overtime. Something about a ‘special order’ that needs to be fulfilled. She probably wouldn’t make it tonight.”

As if on cue, the door of the house swung opened, and all three ponies had to shield their eyes when a gust of wind blew dust and leaves from outside right into their faces.

“Good news, every-pony! I managed to finish my job much quicker than I expected. I’m all set for our game tonight!” A voice declared.

When the door was shut and the wind stopped, Lyra, Octavia and Vinyl found themselves staring at a familiar pony, wearing unfamiliar attire; Bon Bon wore a wide-brimmed hat like on Lyra’s cow-pony attire, but black in colour and a narrower high crown that make it seemed like it belong to an order from an older time. She was wearing Mithril alloy plate vest over leather barding that covered her front to hind-quarters; on her chest was a bandolier stuffed with what looked like silver knives, grenades and tubes containing various unknown liquids. On her back is a quiver with what looked like silver-tipped crossbow bolts; and crossbow in question, a miniature looking one with a lever for seeming auto-repeating action was mounted on her right fore-leg. On her left side was a holstered sword, and her right side a tube-shaped contraption that seemed capable of launching grape-fruit sized munitions, like more of the grenades hanging under it from an ammo belt, with the pull of a string; both were mounted on a saddle-harness.

All in all, she dressed impeccably, unmistakably like...

“A monster-hunter!” Octavia said, astonished, “Do remember to knock next time before you enter, Bon Bon, but my word, it seemed you have dressed appropriately for this occasion!”

“Really? I mean, er... yes, I suppose?” Bon Bon said as she shed some of her gear – and quietly hiding a badge in one of the buttoned pockets – before she approached the table, “It is costume carnival night, yes?”

“Well, yeah, of course! We always like going all-out every-time such festivals come up, Octy.” Lyra interjected quickly for her roommate before Octavia could press further, “Why, Bon Bon, you even had your costume look battered, like you just had a monster battle; I mean, look at the the scratches and tears on your costume, the smears of monster blood and gore...”

“And the smell too... have you bought blood-scent perfume from the props shop?” Octavia asked, while Vinyl cringed from catching a whiff of stench as Bon Bon sat at the table, “Going a bit too far, don’t you think? This isn’t really Nightmare Night.”

“Well, maybe I should cut it down a bit...” Bon Bon said awkwardly – while winking at Lyra, who winked back. “So, what are we playing again?”

“‘Hunter: The Vigilance’.” Octavia answered.

Bon Bon’s ears perked up, “Oh, is that so?” she asked, resisting the urge to give a small smirk. “Tell me more...”

Needless to say, once Hooves and Muffins arrived and the game got started proper, Bon Bon’s character did the best overall out of the other characters in their ‘cell’ of monster hunters over the course of their campaign. She didn’t usurp the overall command of the cell – the honour of leader fell to Lyra, the resident cryptozoologist – but while Lyra could easily recite all the relevant information for virtually every monster they encountered, it was Bon Bon who was able to use Lyra’s knowledge of the monsters’ strengths, weaknesses and attributes to greatest effect, providing invaluable advice on how to defeat them. She also seemed to have an uncanny grasp on how the monsters would behave and act, correctly guessing what monsters were up to even before reaching that part written in the campaign, as well as always choosing the right equipment and right strategies for fighting different monsters.

“It’s almost as if she fought monsters before in real life!” Muffins quipped at one point, “I think the vampires would better think twice before they decide to pounce on her at night!”

Hidden behind her red visor and her opera phantom costume, no-pony noticed Vinyl Scratch was looking around nervously and sweating throughout their entire first session.

Session 11.9 Kendell2

Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, and the CMC set at the table, joined by two of their classmates, Alula, and Tootsie Flute being players and Button Mash being the Game Master. The game required seven players, and Pip and Spike hadn't wanted to play it, but had recommended Tootsie to play.

"...So since the other games I made with dad did well, we decided to go with another genre, and we made this!" Button said, seeming to be enjoying himself being able to make games with his father.

"So, what's the game?" Scootaloo asked.

"Well we did mecha, so dad wanted to do a Magical Filly one," Button explained.

Diamond blinked. "Wait, you don't mind that kind of stuff?"

Button blinked and cocked his head. "No...why?"

"Well most boys think it's 'girly' or something."

"Oh...what's girly about ponies with magical powers blowing up monsters and saving ponies?"

"...Good point..."

"We based a lot of stuff off old legends and stuff! The story is an evil witch named Hydia has resurrected in modern day Equestria and is creating all kinds of monsters with her evil magic to attack the ponies, and you play magical fillies who found the wands of the legendary Princesses of Ponyland and the Crown of Queen Majesty!...We're going to have Trixie do the commercial."

"Let's hope there aren't any witches who are going to sue again..." Scootaloo muttered.

"Nah, dad got a lawyer to ask permission from...somepony first...didn't say who," Button said, shrugging.

"Me as the villain of an RPG?" an ugly old hag asked, seemingly in a sugary paradise with happy ponies prancing and dancing around her...while she was in a cocoon hanging from a tree and unable to bring harm on anypony. "Go ahead! Just make sure I'm irredeemably evil!"

"Yes, miss..." said the very nervous lawyer before Cerebus laid him out of Tartarus, visiting hours over.

Alula rubbed her chin. "Does this seem familiar?" she asked. "The magical filly thing?"

Diamond Tiara shrugged. "I think we've all pretended to be at one point. Let's start playing already."

Session 11.10 Alex Warlorn

Twilight walked into the room of the mark map. Surprised to find her five fellow Elements waiting for her. All of them with sad smiles on their face.

"Hi girls."

"Hi Twilight." They said together.

"Something wrong?" Twilight made sure their cutie marks didn't look meddled with.

"Nothin' Twili'," Applejack said, "We just want ya to know, we all feel super rotten for abandonin' ya at that weddin' rehearsal when that low down snake Queen Chrysalis was impersonatin' Cadence. That was the most stupid and heartless thing we coulda done."

Twilight blasted Applejack dead center, sending her flying out of the chair. She grabbed the others with her magic and slammed their heads together. They reverted back to their true insectoid forms.

"Nice TRY Chrysalis! When my friends talked about the rehearsal after the wedding? I APOLOGIZED TO THEM! I was the one who gave you all the material you needed to make it seem like I was being a paranoid brat! Not all of us are slave to our egos like you!"

"... You... can't blame a girl for trying can you? It was just a joke... a little social experimentation... and-! And... "

Twilight's horn glowed white hot.

"DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY!" Chrysalis screamed running for her life, dragging her children with her. "Just wanted to play Changeling with you!"

"Hey Twilight, was that Chrysalis just now?" Rainbow Dash said, coming in with Spike (still unaware his vision had 'Chrysalis-Cam' enchanted on him) and the other Elements of Harmony and Starlight Glimmer.

"Yeah, just up to her usual tricks. I sent her packing. I think she'll know to behave if she wants to keep in peaceful standing."

Session 11.11 Alex Warlorn

"You REALLY agreed to let Glimmer pick and GM a game?" Spike asked.

"Sure. It'll show that we trust her, and that she doesn't have to be afraid of sharing her interests."

"Her interest is organizing ponies the way Sweetie Belle does dolls." Spike said.

"Spike, none of that."

"It's true, take that away from her, and what's left? A mare whose just sorry for everything all the time... no offense Fluttershy."

"None taken."

"Look! Let's just see what game it is, and judge AFTERWARDS. She said it was a game she loved playing as a teenager." Twilight said as she pushed in the door.

There sat Starlight Glimmer, grinning ear to ear. Their eyes fell to familiar reference books and figures and maps.

Some cringed. Pinkie Pie went, "Whoopie!"

Still grinning, Starlight said. "Welcome Citizens. You are just in time to hear how you can help your friend the computer protect Alpha Stable from commie-mutant-traitor-scum. And of course you do. Only commie-mutant-traitor-scum would not want to help their friend the computer. And commie-mutant-traitor-scum are to be vaporized on sight."

"This again?!" Applejack declared.

"What's wrong with that, cousin?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"This game again of stabbin' each other in the back?! Don't ya remember that HORRIBLE HORRIBLE Diplomacy game that Princess Celestia incinerated?"

"Didn't we agree to never speak of that again?" Rarity asked.

"No, you agreed to that." Rainbow said.

"HEY! We had lots of fun with this game remember?" Pinkie Pie said. "And we all get spare clones, and we're all on the same team, so it's not like that mean nasty game that we played AFTER IT. Come on, you girls aren't gonna let a bad experience with ANOTHER game, ruin the fun we can have with THIS game right?"

Starlight actually broke character. "Diplomacy? We publicly burned every copy of that game we came across in our town."

"... For some reason, I can not bring myself to say that was a bad thing." Rarity admitted begrudgingly.

"I'm shocked here! YOU like to play THIS game?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I always play Your Friend, The Computer, Citizen. And I found it encouraged good behavior in Our Town."

"... A communist police state with a crazy micro-manager with a hair-trigger bad temper behind a motherly attitude, ruling over a buncha identical ponies.. yeah Ah can see that," Applejack said.

"Friend computer vaporizes you Applejack-black-I, Applejack-black-II will arrive shortly."

"How the buck didn't Ah see that comin'?"

"AHHHH! I wanted to be vaporized first!" Pinkie Pie lamented.

Session 11.12 Alex Warlorn (With bits and pieces borrowed from BrutalityInc and Ardashir)

"WHAT IS THIS?!" Ponyville's resident changeling, Kevin, friend of Matilda Donkey, snapped at the desk of the game company responsible to producing 'Changeling: The Astray', now known as 'Fae: The Astray.' "Is it a crime to use the word changeling now in a positive way?!"

Kevin admitted, there were changelings who theorized all ponies tribes were inferior mutant strains of the changelings... who else did you explain they all had bits and pieces of what Changelings all had personally? Alicorns were clearly ponies trying to return to their changeling purity. This idea was viciously struck down, for it dared imply that changelings and ponies were the same species and not simply predator and prey as nature intended.

Those who argued for the 'Flutterpony origin theory' were even more viciously mocked and demonized... they were called 'flutter-heads' or 'flutter-brains' or the like.

The official royal changeling party line was that changelings had been born from a mutant acorn that fell into a pit of pony corpses dripping with black magic that had been burst out of a tree that grew mouths and ate flies... As endorsed by Queen Chrysalis herself. Kevin thought it was insane.

Just like these game designers, okay, Kevin had never actually PLAYED the game, but ponies got to play as changelings, wasn't that cool!? And now these ponies changed the names all around because they thought every changelings alive was a will-less mindless slave to Chrysalis' will.

The receptionist behind the desk was not having a good day. "Well, after the Diamond Dogs got 'Escape From the Diamond Dogs' pulled from the shelves for being a reenactment of ponies escaping from their slave mines, several tribes and factions declared it open season on game developers and got us to pull nearly anything offensive. Except the Yaks, they requested only one change."

"What was that?"

"That instead of them smashing to pieces anything that wasn't 100% perfect, instead they smash to pieces anything that isn't 100% genuine, they said it was a important difference."

"... You're saying The Hive ... "

"Sued us."

Several three years ago

Chrysalis stammered reading through a game manual. "'Changelings pretend to be normal ponies to better infiltrate and control equine society'? HOW DID THEY LEARN THIS? Get me the hive's Spymaster, they've been sleeping on the job!"

"It's just a pure coincidence, your highness! They don't even know where our hive is!" Pleaded her Spymaster.

"We still need to do something about this!" Chrysalis hissed. "Tell Tape-Worm and Ring Worm in Fillydelphia they need to forward some letters!"

Some time after that

"Another three C-and-D letters? This was so much easier in the old days when we just dragged them back to the Hive and mind-whammied them into doing whatever we want."

Session 11.13 Ardashir and Alex Warlorn

"Alright everypony, desperate times, desperate measures." Twilight said, as Suri sat on a stool in the middle of the room, grinning blithely at all of them, her bright equal mark shining.

Starlight Glimmer sighed. As much as she wouldn't admit to her new friends, she was happy to see somepony who according to all clinical evidence, was actually having a better life thanks to her philosophy.

Queen Chrysalis looked at the Mane Six coldly, shackles on her legs and a modified collar on her horn that permitted her to use only a little of her magic. "You want me to do what again?"

"Help Suri here," Twilight indicated the widely smiling and Equalized at the moment pony, "to become her normal self again."

"I don't want to be normal!" Buttonbelle chirped. She cantered forward and smiled into Chrysalis' face. The Changeling Queen recoiled from that manic grin. Suri said, "Normal-me was an awful, greedy, nasty pony. I want to be happy and spread the joy of Equalism to everypony! Don't you want to be Equal too?"

"No!" Chrysalis lifted her with magic and set Suri back down. Far, far away from her. "Urrgh! Now I know what happened to a dozen of my drones a year ago They sent word back that they were infiltrating some strange town and the next thing I knew, they were back and grinning like fools and trying to convince us all to be 'equal'." She looked at a nearby chair, picked it up with her magic, and yanked it apart with a sneer. "I stuck them in cocoons until they become sane again. I defy anyone to tell me that they're MY equal."

"My chair!" Rarity gathered the pieces up and began trying to fit them back together. "Twilight, can't you control her impulse to destroy?"

"A-hem!" Twilight adjusted some controls on the amulet she held. The collar on Chrysalis' horn glowed and she hissed in pain. "No more of that! Now, help Suri and we'll forget about you sneaking into MY CASTLE and impersonating MY FRIENDS."

Chrysalis snarled, but she nodded. Turning to Suri, she began to work her magic on the mare's mind.

"Uhh, Twi?" Rainbow Dash hovered over by her. "Is this smart?"

"Aww, come on, Dashie," Pinkie Pie said. "What could possibly go wrong?"

Everypony froze as soon as those words left her mouth.

"AHHHH!" Chrysalis shrieked and reared Suri's mind touched hers. Suri dropped, eyes rolling, as Chrysalis collapsed.

Cautious, the Mane Six approached her.

"Chrysalis?" Twilight bent close, but not too close, over the fallen queen. "Are you alright?"

Chrysalis slowly rose, panting, her claws over her face. Her panting grew deeper and more savage as she did.

Twilight and her friends prepared for the worst.

And...

"OH, HELLO, MY DEAR AND WONDERFUL FRIENDS!"

Twilight shrieked as she was enveloped in a warm embrace by legs covered in chitin. She shuddered at the look on Chrysalis' face. Eyes wide with trust, her mane in the simple cut favored in Our Town, and the Equal sign on her flank, Chrysalis somehow looked more horrifying than ever.

"I feel so free now! And I owe it all to you, thank you for showing me the light!" She bowed so low at Starlight Glimmer she hit her horn on the floor. "Ow."

Twilight gasped for air and wriggled, seeking escape, as Chrysalis all but crushed her in a hug. She smiled maniacally at the rest of the Mane Six, who shuddered and made sure to stay out of her grasp. "Oh my dear friends! I've been such an awful Changeling Queen! I have to apologize to everypony I ever hurt! Starting here and now!"

"Girls?" Rarity said, backing towards the door and smiling nervously at Chrysalis. "RUN!"

Hooves scrambling, Rarity was on her way to the door followed by the rest as globs of Changeling slime hit and held them fast.

"No no no!" Chrysalis flew over to them, keeping her embrace/stranglehold on Twilight. "I've been so bad to you all! You simply MUST let me apologize! And to Shining Armor, and Princess Cadence, and Princess Celestia..." Her eyes widened. "I know! I'll turn everypony into Changelings! Then I can apologize to everypony all at once! And when we can all turn into any kind of pony we want we'll finally all be Equal!" She gathered the rest of Twilight's friends into her embrace, pulling them free of the goo. Their agonized groans filled the air as their bones creaked. "Won't that be wonderful -- OW!"

The Mane Six fell away, gasping for air, as Chrysalis collapsed unconscious.

"Eeep!" Fluttershy shook herself. "I've never been so happy to un-hugged before."

"Me neither," Applejack felt her throat. "But who th' hay set us free?"

"That would be me..." Starlight said apologetically, lowering the metal-reinforced chair she'd just broken over Chrysalis' head.

"Couldn't you have done that BEFORE?" Twilight asked.

"I was... a little overwhelmed." In all honesty she was rather conflicted since what Chrysalis had been saying didn't sound that awful... except if everypony was changelings, where would they get love from? The whole 'be whatever you want to be' didn't sound so bad... And that might have been why Glimmer had struck before it started sounding too good to say no to.

"So... Buttonbelle personality's is so nice it's infectious?" Fluttershy asked.

"Please don't call her that, it only encourages her," Twilight said.

"But it's what she wants to be called," Fluttershy said. "Shouldn't we respect that?"

"I! AM! ME!" Chrysalis snarled, her eyes snapping open, full of savage bloodlust, the equalization fading, then her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she fell unconscious again.

Suri snarled, getting back up. "I'm not letting Locust Legs here turn ME into some slimy bug! And now since I'm free of that curse, I'll be leaving, M'kay? And don't try stopping me or -- NO! Not again!" She shrieked once, and when it was over, she was back to her smiling new brainwashed self again.

"Hello, my friends!"

The Mane Six just looked at each other.

"Okay," Twilight said. "No more using Chrysalis to try to fix Suri."

Chrysalis shook her head as she awakened for real this time. "NO 'LING WILL EVER HEAR OF THIS!"

"Consider it blackmail material." Rainbow Dash said.

"... " Chrysalis smirked. "You ponies are more like us than you want to admit. Can you... BLECH... 'please' get these stupid shackles and collar off? I'm late for an important meeting. And this is no way to treat a visiting head of state!"

Twilight rolled her eyes, and flickered her horn and the collar popped off.

The changeling queen gave them a derisive snort and flew off through one of the windows.

"Now let's see if we can finally figure out a way to get Suri Polomare de-programmed," Twilight said.

"My name is Buttonbelle." She grinned gigantically as only an equalized pony could.

"Suri that isn't your real name," Twilight said.

"Oh but Buttonbelle IS my real name," Suri said politely.

Twilight sighed. "Look, I know you want to distance yourself from yourself, but it isn't-"

"Actually she's being serious Twilight," Rarity said. "She was named Buttonbelle, her birth name, but she changed it to Suri Polomare to sound more sophisticated. She said she wanted to be taken seriously as a fashion designer. Sort of the OPPOSITE of Applejack and Countess, I mean, 'Rara."

"Remember how I used to love to laugh and tell jokes?" Suri said with bright innocent eyes. "Doesn't that sound better than who I was before Glimmer showed me the light? Now that I'm equal, I don't feel the need to stab ponies in the back to get ahead. Isn't that the better self?"

Twilight shook her head. "Suri, what I've been trying to tell you, is that you, and... what I admit I think a lot of ponies have trouble understand-" Spike gave her THAT look. "-Alright, alright, including me! Is that you're ALL of you. You're not just one part of yourself, you're all of yourself."

"... Did you see Kungfu Ursa 3 over the weekend too?" Fluttershy asked.

Twilight blushed.

"YOU saw that movie? About kung-fu?" Rarity asked.

"And cute fuzzy animals!" Fluttershy corrected happily.

"Oh I know! It was such a fun movie about friendship! How could the villain that be so selfish to the hidden town's folk who just wanted to help him?" Buttonbelle asked.

"I still find him blowing up after filling up with the very magic he was after as rather cliche darling."

"Not if you look at it like he wasn't given a chance to assimilate it first and- Rarity you saw that movie?!" Twilight gasped.

"... Sweetie Belle needed somepony to go with her... and mother and father were busy... as usual."

"You seem to raise her more than they do." Rainbow Dash said.

"You noticed, thank you."

'Takes one to know one.' Rainbow Dash thought silently.

Session 11.14 Alex Warlorn

"What the heck is this?" Rainbow Dash looked dumbly at the box, picking it up, and looking under it and around it, as if it would reveal a hidden compartment.

"It's a new role playing game Rainbow," Twilight said. "Kevin sent to me."

"Who?" Almost all her friends asked.

"The changeling who attended Cranky and Matilda's wedding remember?"

"Oh," Came the almost universal reply.

"It was so nice when he finally let me throw him that 'we aren't going to run you out of town or turn you over to the guards for the crime of being a changeling' party," Pinkie Pie said.

None of the others reacted to this information besides accepting the reality Pinkie Pie knew every sapient being in Ponyville, and a good deal of the otherwise too as Rocky and Madam La Flour will assist.

Twilight continued to explain to the Council of Friendship. "He says it's a game that was recently released by the changelings, as a temporary lift on their ban on role playing games."

"Geeze, as if I needed more reasons not to live in the changeling kingdom," RD remarked.

Twilight opened the box and began to flip through the rule book. "Well... nothing too strange here... the rules are all pretty straight forward and simplistic, it's clearly meant with the average pony, I mean changeling in mind and... uh, maybe playing this isn't such a good idea."

"Why? It's cursed? Has brainwashing messages built into it?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"No, and, yes and no."

"What? Let me have a look!" Rainbow Dash took the book from Twilight before she could protest and....

"WHAT. THE. FLYING FEATHER?!"

Rainbow Dash dropped the book.

The book opened to the entry on Cloudsdale, on the adventure party's mission to save innocent nymphs from being ground up into rainbows by the evil Rainbow Dash. Rarity magically pulled the book towards herself. "MY DARLING! This is awful!" But curiosity got the best of her. "Pinkie Pie... you don't want to read the entry on you. You just don't. And... I MAKE MY CLOTHES OUT OF WHAT?! And! FLUTTERSHY DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A SHED! Twilight got her wings doing WHAT to us?!" Rarity threw the book away in disgust. "TWILIGHT! This is unfiltered, unapologetic propaganda!"

"I get the feeling I know who 'By Princess Crystal' actually is," Twilight remarked grimly.

"So... in the same book case as WarHorse 40 Carrots?" Applejack asked. Not wanting to know what it said about HER!

Twilight nodded.

"I'll go plug in the paper shredder!" Pinkie Pie hopped off.

Session 11.15 Alex Warlorn

Never mess with a pregnant mare, and say good bye to anypony who messes with a pregnant Alicorn! At least the bleeding walls, floors turning to lava, and demonic howling turned to be myths.

Sadly, that left Guard Flash Sentry, abandoned by his Prince and CO, still dealing with a pregnant Alicorn Princess who did not take kindly to any of her demands not being met.

"I SAID I WANT TO PLAY PoL! AND with Sombra and Chrysalis! And if I mean ANYTHING to you as your princess! You'll do it now! Or! Or! Or does none of my kingdom actually like me?! Waaahhhhh!"

Flash Sentry crawled away from Cadence as she went from furious to sad in an instant and out of her royal chambers.

The pegasus stallion desperate wrote on a piece of paper, and without really thinking wrote.

If you ever loved me, HELP! - Flash Sentry And it vanished in a flash of green flame.

Soon a mass of smoke came and reformed into a new letter that read.

Technically I love an alternate universe version of you, but if you're anything like him, then you're a good and decent pony who I really don't want to see perish under the fury of Cadence's mood swings while she's pregnant. So I'll do my best. BTW, Little Brother First Base says hi. - Princess Twilight

Then the crystal mirror appeared out of another mass of green smoke, with a shard of crystal inserted into the top... it shined and glimmered... and out came two crystal unicorn ponies, one holding a letter. A mare and stallion, one was a dark gray blank flank and the other light purple with a spiral winged serpent thingie cutie mark. Something about the stallion was familiar.

"Excuse me... " said the mare. "I'm Radiant Hope and..." She looked closely at the letter she was holding. "Is this the Ponies and Dragons universe, and we've been invited to play a game with this universe's princess Cadence?"

Flash Sentry grinned. "YOU'LL DO!" He leapt up and pushed through the door.

"Either let's play already or let me leave!" Chrysalis hissed. "I have better things to do with my time!"

"Not until Sombra gets here!"

"Sombra's dead! You brain dead-"

Then Cadence's belly glowed. A baseball bat levitated off the floor glowing the same color, and whacked Chrysalis so hard she was sent flying and the baseball bat broke in two.

"Oh, sorry about that," Cadence said with as much apology as she could muster towards her enemy. "My foal sometimes does that if they think I'm in danger or something... the doctors have never seen anything like it."

Chrysalis growled. "My one regret is that my nymph didn't telekinetically strangle you while you were touching horns with your stallion when she was taking up space inside my abdomen. I always knew she was a failure."

Cadence blinked. "You have foals?"

"You heard nothing!" Chrysalis hissed.

"Excuse me... are we interrupting?" Asked the stallion.

"YOU'RE HERE! GOOD!" Cadence smiled! "Now we can get started!"

..A bit later...

"Praise Celestia!" Said Reformed Sombra awkwardly barely understanding the convoluted rules to the game except Radiant Hope said it reminded her of a game the Umbrum used to play for fun.

"Praise Celestia!" Chrysalis said, though saying the words felt like gurgling battery acid.

Cadence also had 'Roar of the Brave' playing in the background, a song by Dragon Force, the first hit rock band out of Dragon Town.

"The meteor avoids Sombra... and hits Chrysalis."

"WHAT?!"

"You used up your Grace of Celestia points."

"That was the first time I used any!"

"The PoLmeister is allowed to cheat. Whenever she wants to. Period."

Radiant Hope wondered if they'd ended up in the mirror universe by mistake.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Session 11.0 Kendell2 (OOC: Pinkie might not be able to outthink Tirek, but there is such a thing as Summon Bigger Fish :) .)
Session 11.1 Mooncalf99
Session 11.2 Alex Warlorn
Session 11.3 Kendell2 (OOC: Inspired by the game series Just Cause.)
Session 11.4 Ardashir
Session 11.5 Alex Warlorn
Session 11.6 Alex Warlorn
Session 11.7 Mooncalf99
Session 11.8 BrutalityInc(For reference, Hunter: The Vigil by White Wolf Publishing company, part of their New World of Darkness line of tabletop RPGs)
Session 11.9 Kendell2 (OOC: I've always wondered why none of the Magical Girl based MLP fanfics use Hydia, she's kind of perfect for one.)
Session 11.10 Alex Warlorn
Session 11.11 Alex Warlorn
Session 11.12 Alex Warlorn (With bits and pieces borrowed from BrutalityInc and Ardashir)
Session 11.13 Ardashir and Alex Warlorn
Session 11.14 Alex Warlorn
Session 11.15 Alex Warlorn

Cover art by Jeatz-Axl.

Session 12

Session 12.0 Kendell2

"Okay, before we do this, will it turn out the leader of the Comet Kingdom is just a mouthpiece for a BIGGER bad guy?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"No, that was just how the expansion for the Prim-Evils worked."

The Comet Kingdom was currently worn down from having to split their forces between worrying about the Prim-Evils and the heroes group, as the Prim-Evils were living mega disasters, and were just as interested in assimulating the Comet Kingdom as they were Equus, but had refused Fluttershy requesting an enemy mine with them.

The Prim-Evils had been ambushed upon the remaining 28 emerging from hyperspace above Equus, resulting in them being caught in the hyperspace jump imploding before they could unleash their full power all at once...but their cores had all escaped to Equus without being purified and were now individually threatening to destroy the planet. This had resulted in the prehistoric monsters faction largely, while not becoming allies, targeting the Prim-Evils out of territorial nature rather than benevolence (like most of the Dracozilla movies).

The time in the story had come up with the possibility of a final battle with the Comet Kingdom.

That was when Twilight dropped the bombshell (one of the game's moral choices):

The easiest way to finish off the Comet Kingdom was simply to blow up the entire thing from outside (which would also be a karmic one, given the FIRST plan the Comet Kingdom had tried was death from space) after their forcefield was temporally down thanks to a Prim-Evil attack. Along with all the civilians.

The others had instantly shot that down.

"Yeah, no way are we sinking to THEIR level," Rainbow Dash said, crossing her arms. "Plus, back when we purified that Zondor that'd been one of them, they just took him and headed home and left us alone, so not ALL of them are flankholes."

The other option was to launch a full scale invasion, risking damage and having a MAJOR uphill battle against the Kingdom's defenses and fleet, and would likely result in heavy causalities by the Equus Defense Forces.

"Um...Twilight?" Fluttershy asked, after talking something over with Rarity and Trixie.

"Yes, Fluttershy?"

"I have an idea...well, me, Rarity, and Trixie..." said Fluttershy.

"Yes?"

Fluttershy's third option was to have Rarity talk over a plan with her character Starvella's former betrothed (who had since been introduced as a 'noble demon' character who, while on the enemy's side, generally sided with them against the other fractions when he was around at the time) to sneak her into the Comet Kingdom so she could disable their defense systems, meaning while there was no real way to negate ALL the danger to the civilians, it'd at least possibly spare a number of them. If it succeeded, his planet was no longer under threat of enslavement, if it failed, she'd hide his involvement.

Rarity got the proper rolls and the plan succeeded.

"Oh! I'm sorry..." Fluttershy said, realizing something. "Twilight, I derailed your plot...sorry..."

Twilight gave a chuckle. "Fluttershy, it's fine. I'm HAPPY. You found a third option to lessen the number of causalities...and your mecha runs on kindness, so you get a boost for the upcoming battle."

Session 12.1 Richforce (OOC: Major spoilers for Xenogear Chronicles X, you have been warned.)

“Ok start from the beginning,” said Twilight giving a glaring look at Spike. “Why did you yell out like Button stabbed you in the back?”

Spike looked down at his feet. “Well…”

“It was my fault!” said Button. “I thought the way I presented it would make for a good surprise!”

“I’m not casting blame,” said Twilight. “I just want to know what happened.”

“Well,” said Applebloom. We were playing that new game Button’s dad made about a bunch of folks having to leave Equus for this planet Mira and you play as one of them paramilitary types. And the boys were real accommodating to getting the CMC to catch up to their campaign.”

“I’ve heard about it, me and friends were thinking about trying it out ourselves.”

“Anyway as far as our group has gotten in the main story our squad was facing aliens who were working for one of the factions that destroyed Equus, the Ganglion,” said Pipsqueak. “Today we were helping a group of friendly aliens called the Ma-non escape from Ganglion agents. We actually had our biggest victory yet, we outnumbered them two to one but the Prone were in Skells.”

“So eight of you on foot against four, in giant robots with heavy weaponry. But if you won why did Spike scream?”

“Well when the last one went down it took a shot at our alien No-pon companion,” said Snips. “Spike’s character took the blow trying to save him and lost an arm.”

“Is that what made you mad?” Twilight asked Spike.

The dragon gave a glare at Button Mash. “No, what made me mad was that Button decided that was the best time to tell me that all this time I was PLAYING AS A ROBOT!”

Spike took Twilight’s glare and used Cadance’s breathing technique.

“Mimesome,” said Button. “There is a difference.”

Twilight turned to the colt. “Was this your idea or part of the story your dad wrote for the game?”

“My Dad, you see he realized that with how big space is and how long it could take ponies or anyone else to find a new world to call home he needed something to handle the possible idea of whole generations living and dying without seeing any benefit for themselves or their children. So he thought that with people in stasis their minds could operate robots called Mimesomes. They’re made to mimic the body of any Equinnite, it also makes for a good death mechanic. When you die in the game your body just gets repaired and then is rebooted. You can’t really just upload into a new one as we don’t have access to the Livehold where our real bodies are and it gives urgency to finding the Livehold, if they can’t find it before its backup power supply runs out it the end for everyone, both those in stasis and the Mimesomes.”

“Ok, that I get when you make a character you can get invested with it, but Spike you did overreact.”

“Sorry guys, for a I thought that Button was commandeering my character. I’m over it now.”

“Glad to hear it, have fun everypony!”
After Twilight left Scootaloo spoke up. “You think we should have told her about what happened in our last story session?”

“I only explained this because of the problem it caused,” said Button. “I’ve heard she’s sensitive about spoilers.”

“But when it happened to her for real she seemed to be able to cope,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah,” said Snails. “I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

+++

Snails didn’t count on the fact when it happened to her she was preoccupied with saving her friends from Tirek. So when she started to actually play B.L.A.D.E Chronicles and her friends fought the actual Ganglion for the first time…

“WHY!?” yelled the Princess of Friendship. “What did we do to make them hate us THAT much!?”

“It’s not like it was core of the Lifehold,” said Rainbow Dash. “there’s good chance to recover the data later and we got an another alien friend out it.”
They did drive off a top Ganglion commander, but not before she destroyed a computer bank that they learned after the mission digitally held one third of the contents of the Canterlot Archives.

“But the BOOKS! Maybe our collective species might have unknowingly done something to them BUT THE BOOKS WERE INNOCENT!”

Rainbow Dash moved to snap Twilight out of it but Applejack stopped her.

“Better wait a bit, just till she gets through the worst of it. I’m not in the mood to be turned into a kumquat for three hours.”

Session 12.2 Kendell2

"So you got this game at a royal conference with King Leo in Aquastria?" Applejack asked, looking at the game, which had a board resembling the sea floor.

"Yeah, it's apparently a very popular game down there," the Princess of friendship replied. She looked at the map. "The plot is to search along the sea floor to locate a kidnapped seapony princess from an evil octopus-like monster named Squirk."

"Alright, let's go for it!" Rainbow Dash said, smirking.

So they started the game...but there was a problem.

"Uh, Twilight, what path are yah followin'?" Applejack asked, noting the Alicorn was moving her piece along a path the others just couldn't see.

"Uh, this one?" she asked, pointing at a path that she saw no problems.

"What one?"

"THIS one!"

Spike blinked, looking at the box. "Uh, Twilight?" he asked, showing her the box.

"What is it? 'Warning, this game uses electromagnetic paths that only sea ponies can see. If you are a land dweller, please press the switch on the bottom of the game board to activate the lights in the part of the visual light spectrum you can see,'" Twilight read, then blinked in confusion. "Wait..."

Pinkie Pie somehow picked up the entire gameboard without moving one piece and flipped a switch, causing the paths Twilight had been able to see just fine to light up. "That's better!"

"But if only Sea Ponies can see the pathways, how did I see it?!" Twilight asked, blinking in confusion. "I'm not a sea pony..."

"But you're an Alicorn..." Spike pointed out.

"Yeah, so?"

Spike face hoofed in response. "ALL pony tribes, remember?!"

"Oh..." Twilight said, then gave a scientific gasp. "Wait, I can see electromagnetic fields?!"

Session 12.3 MtangaLion

Rainbow Dash blinked. "Wait, wait... every pony tribe? Hang on, I gotta try something! I'll be back in five seconds!" The blue pegasus breezed right out, leaving a rainbow contrail and a window hanging open.

"What do y'all suppose that's about..." Applejack began to say.

Dash returned with a startled thestral in tow, literally five seconds later. "Girls, this is Windy Whisper! She's new in town."

Windy was already gawking at Twilight and bowing low. "P-Princess! It's an honor..."

"Nah, you don't have to do that," said Rainbow Dash. "Twilight's cool. Now..." She started whispering in the batpony's ear.

"Really?" asked Windy. "Well, okay." She opened her fanged mouth and did... nothing, so far as Spike, AJ, or Pinkie could tell, but Twilight hopped in place, startled.

Twilight rubbed an ear with a hoof. "Was that what I think it was?"

Windy nodded bashfully. "Ultrasonic chirp."

Spike smirked. "I think somepony owes me an apology!"

"Spike!" Now Twilight was blushing. "How could I have known your dog whistle *wasn't* defective?" She shook her head. "This is certainly interesting, but it doesn't seem very useful."

"Not useful!" exclaimed Windy. "Well, I never! Has anypony got a blindfold?" Pinkie held one out (in case of surprise party emergencies), and Windy darted over and tied it around Twilight's head.

"What are you doing?" cried Twilight. "I can't see a thing!"

Windy smirked and chirped again.

Twilight froze. "I *can* see a thing. I saw a bunch of things. Do that again..."

"Do your own chirping, if there's really thestral in you." Windy spread her wings and glided lazily around the room. "Then we can play a game! You find me in dark, then you tag and I will find you!"

"Well, that's just swell," said Applejack. "Another game that the rest of us ain't equipped to play."

Twilight looked straight at Applejack, even though she was now flying around, chasing after Windy with the blindfold on. Her horn started to glow. "Well, if you *really* want to play this game..."

AJ gulped. "Ah wasn't complaining! Just making an observation!"

Session 12.4 Alex Warlorn

"That is not what he meant when he wrote that rule!" Time Turner protested.

"And I say it is." Windy Whisper said stubbornly. She'd been happy when Lyra's group had invited her to game with them. Though learning that Lyra was a Cryptidologist, the bat pony worried she was invited simply because Lyra was an otaku for 'unique' ponies.

They were playing by classic Ogres and Oubliettes rules, which Windy was grateful for, it seemed nopony wanted to play by those rules anymore. Sure the rules had lots of loop holes to them, but that part of the fun.

"It says the hydra's body is immune to all damage, therefore, if we hide behind the hydra, the Ballista's arrow can't possible hit us. Unless you can have a chat with the game's creator himself, I'd say I'm right."

"We'll just see about that!" Time Turner ran out of the house, to the confusion of the ponies. They didn't see his blue shed he ran into, or how it vanished.

"So... I've got to know. Sorry for asking but...Do you thestrals drink blood?" Lyra asked.

"For the record." Wind Whisper said. "There are subset or thestrals, some of us fruits. Some of us eat bugs. And no, we DON'T eat changelings, that's actually a bad rumor that's actually made it HARDER for thestral guards to get enemy changelings to surrender."

"Wait, changelings surrender?" Octavia asked.

"Sure, it's not like they're mindless automatons, I saw some changelings dragging their own injured through the street during the battle of Canterlot."

+

"Let me tell you sweet heart, if I had been in Canterlot instead of Stalliongrad that day, I'd have squashed those slimly, vile, evil, disgusting, heartless, bugs monsters." Said the royal guard across the table at Sugar Cube Corner to June Bug who cringed at his words. The Queen may have enjoyed the taste of self love, but that said more about Chrysalis than other changelings.

"Uh, I need to go!" June Bug nearly ran out of the cafe, looking sick to her stomach. June Bug was just happy that when the Black Hive had invaded Canterlot, it hadn't trigger a slew of changelings hunts.

+

"And finally, there ARE a subset of thestral whose main diet IS blood... "

"Wasn't Count Impaling Pole one?" Octavia asked.

"That has never been confirmed historically." Windy Whisper said. "But yeah, those ARE the source of the legend of vampires because of that... Though there are ponies other thestrals have interbred with whose descendants might have picked up some of our traits, like the nocturnal unicorn." Though those were actually quite rare, given how reclusive bat ponies had been before their princess' return. And no, there wasn't going to be a war against the 'sun tyrant.'

"And ... which one are you?" Octavia asked.

"Let's have dinner some time and you can find out," she said.

'So what's Princess Luna like?' Vinyl Scratch wrote on a piece of paper and floated to the bat pony.

Windy Whisper glared. "So because I'm a thestral I HAVE to be in the Night Guard? ALL Thestrals have to be part of The Princess' Guard?"

Vinyl shrank slightly and wrote again. 'Sorry.'

"Forgiven. Seriously, it's like saying ALL earth ponies are farmers, all unicorns went to Celestia's school, and all pegasi are Wonderbolts."

"So.... are you?" Lyra asked gingerly.

"We're here to game, not talk about my night job," Windy said, that the game was being held in the evening, meant this game was happening in the 'morning' for her. "And it's kinda annoying when the Oubliette Overseer just storms out like that."

'This is why we shouldn't have let him game master again.' Vinyl wrote down.

There was a grinding noise that only Derpy knew signaled the return of the Doctor.

Doctor Hooves trotted back in on hunched shoulder. "Well! I can safely say that I'm right, and you're wrong see?" The Doctor opened the classic game master guide, a first edition, and planted a hoof on the entry.

Wind Whisper looked and said, grinning. "Well, I haven't see that before."

The Doctor blinked and looked down at the entry. There was a line ON THE NEXT PAGE, that read 'so the party can behind it to be protected from a siege weapon. Also, Hydra have an instinctive dislike of time travelers.'

Time Turner sighed. "Now that's just not fair."

"If it is written, it must be so."

Session 12.5 BrutalityInc

“I don’t know, Point-Dexter.” 8-Bit said uncertainly, “Don’t you think it’s a bit inappropriate to turn such a serious subject matter into black comedy?”

“I don’t see it as black comedy; it is satire. It laughs at the subject and not the poor folks at the receiving end of it. Doing the latter… now THAT would be offensive.” Point-Dexter replied defensively.

“He’s got a point there, 8-Bit.” Gaffer added, vouching for Point-Dexter, “Besides, going by your argument, we should ban all table-top and video games because they are insulting or do injustice to the people and subjects they reflect in real life.”

“Don’t give the censors any ideas!”

“Hey guys, what’s going on?” The three ponies turned to find the fourth member of their group, Shining Armor, walking in.

“Just discussing this new game we’re going to be testing tonight,” Gaffer answered, “8-Bit seems to think that it’s offensive.”

“I did not!” 8-Bit retorted, “But, well… it seems just wrong to play the scenario it’s presenting for laughs. I mean, we’re talking about game that involves killing millions of people as part of the gameplay!”

There was an uncomfortable silence, ending only with the thump of Shining Armor dropping his notes and books onto the table. “Okay… And what is it about?”

“World-ending global warfare.” Gaffer said as Point-Dexter placed the game-box onto the table; on its cover was the title ‘Doomsday!’ (Other scribbled out titles include ‘World War!’ and ‘Oops, Apocalypse!’), overlaying what is a half-finished, uncoloured, cartoonish picture of a mushroom cloud, stamped with a disclaimer calling it ‘WIP: Draft-65’.

“Basically, in this game, you play as one of a list of world leaders leading a nation represented by five cities on one of the landmasses in the game-map”, Point-Dexter explained as he opened up the box and spread its contents within. “Each city, depending on the ‘population card’ you drew from a deck, would have around 5 to 25 million people. The goal of this game is to protect your populations from the other players, while eliminating other players by removing their population.”

“There are a few ways to do this: such as by stealing their population via propaganda, during peace time… or you can destroy their population with balefire weaponry during war time.” Gaffer continued.

“Balefire… the necromantic magic of generating radioactive flames.” Shining Armor breathed out the accursed word. “I heard that the Zebras are researching ways to apply it for beneficial civilian use – energy production, sanitation, agriculture, medicine, pest-control – but its usage as weaponry is only theoretical!”

“Yeah, but the theory is sound, so I read. The problem is finding means to magnify its power by several orders of magnitude, but we’re decades away from developing the sort of mega-spell-amplification process for that.” Point-Dexter noted, “Point is, this game is about the nightmare scenario where the world found a means to do so, and now everyone can build balefire warheads of various mega-tons, and the means to deliver it to people they don’t like if push comes to shove.”

“And that’s where 8-Bit finds it disturbing.” Gaffer interjected.

“I mean, come ON.” 8-Bit said, picking up a characters list “You have satirized expies of world leaders magically-animated to say cheesy one-liners in speech bubbles about how they’re going to turn your land to molten slag, and you have pun-names for everything! I don’t see how you can joke about this…”

Point-Dexter was unapologetic, however, “Given the way things are developing, I have no doubts that this is a situation that we or our descendants might have to face someday, because people will always find things and reasons to squabble over. Think about it: a perpetual stand-off between nations with stockpiles of balefire weaponry, capable of destroying the world several dozen times over, often wielded at the hooves or claws of world leaders who would let short-sightedness and petty grievances get the best of them, while their people live under constant fear of total annihilation from those whom hate their guts at any moment. It’ll be like if those two feuding families your sister and her friend Fluttershy sorted out got cannons; it’s a horrid and stupid situation that no one wants to be under. I think one of the best way to deal with such a disturbingly grim reality is to laugh at the sheer absurdity of it, hoping that the players take it to heart and work to not let it happen.”

“Or my sister and her fellow ‘Guardians of Harmony’ could shoot rainbow beams at the problem until it no longer exists. That’s how it seems to work these days.” Shining Armor said, shrugging as Point-Dexter moved off the soapbox he was standing on that contained their bottles of cider. “Either way, I think I can stomach a satire game about world-ending wars.”

“Point-Dexter still need work out a few bugs from the game.” Gaffer said, “Though I doubt your sister and her friends would want to have a go at it.”

“Well then, looks like it’s up to us to have a go at causing the end of the world,” 8-Bit replied snidely.

= = =

The early rounds passed with the four players’ nations in a state of precarious peace. During this time, the four use their turns to make preparations for the inevitable conflict to come; stealing each others’ population via media blitz of propaganda, and building up their stockpiles of weapons. How well they went at it depended on what card they drew from the propaganda and production decks.

It was an act of espionage, however, that finally turned up the heat.

“You did WHAT?!” 8-Bit exclaimed.

“It’s just what it said on the card.” Gaffer said, turning it over to show Gaffer, “’Sabotage! Two of your target’s larger balefire bombs explodes.’.”

On Gaffer’s character sheet, the magically-animated world leader caricature, Queen Cheese-leg, was hooting with mocking laughter.

8-Bit saw red “That’s it! I ready a Doombringer for launch!” He declared, putting the figurine of the Doombringer Intercontinental Rocket-Bomb onto the board.

“So, it’s war, then, is it?” Gaffer said, smirking, before putting his own figurine when his turn came “I roll a Balefire Express-1 strategic bomber airship onto the tarmac! I got a 50 megaton warhead with your name on it!”

“Wait, why are you readying your own rocket-bomb, Point-Dexter?” Shining Armor asked as Point-Dexter placed his own ICRB onto the board.

“Why, to take advantage of the situation!” Point-Dexter replied as if it is the most obvious thing in the world, “When they attack next round, they’re going to lose warheads and take damage. You should know more than any-pony else that military logic considers it the moment when your enemies are divided and squabbling to be the perfect time to strike.”

“Yes, but that’s only when… all sides… are completely…” Shining stopped as a realization came, then smiled deviously as a plan came to forefront of his mind. “Never mind. I think I’ll use my turn to produce more weapons.”

= = =

Next round, Gaffer and 8-Bit went on the offensive against each other; unlike propaganda or espionage, in an attack phase, the players spend one turn readying their delivery system, and their next turn to put in the warhead and attack. Whether the attacks succeeds and does damage was determined by drawing a card from the ‘War!’ deck and spinning an arrow on a ‘Fallout effect’ spinner wheel, with the warhead’s size acting as multipliers for damage as listed on the card, and what warhead you can use limited by delivery system available for each player in their possession.

8-Bit placed a 20 megaton warhead on the Deathbringer rocket-bomb and launch it onto one of Gaffer's larger population centres, while Gaffer dumped 50 megaton balefire weapon from his bomber airship into one of 8-Bit's own.

8-Bit whooped when he drew a ‘War!’ card which says the attack killed 3 million, while his arrow stopped on the slice which says the fallout killed an additional 2 million.

“Yeah! That’s what you get for sabotaging me!” 8-Bit declared excitedly to Gaffer. His chosen world-leader avatar, a cartoonish-looking Saddle-Arabian king called ‘Shah Sandy’, was grinning with glee.

“8-Bit…”Gaffer replied quietly, “You just killed 5 million people.”

B-Bit's triumphant expression morphed into one of horror as the implications sank in, and he remembered his original objections to the game. “Sweet Celestia, what have I done?” He whispered.

“That’s the entire point of the game.” Point-Dexter said simply. “Remember the absurdity of it all and not get sucked into the exhilarating power-fantasy of destroying your enemies. I just hoped the implications sink in for the general public when this hits the shelves.”

“You mean IF it hits the shelves. Bit of a grim-dark moment there.” Shining Armor, “To be honest though, I think your game will sell like hot-cakes anyway, if only for all the satirical puns you put in.”

Gaffer was disappointed, and somewhat relieved, by the results of his attack: his ‘War!’ card says his 50 megaton bomb killed 7 million people, but the arrow landed on a slice in the wheel board which says that fallout shelters saved 2 million. In essence, both Gaffer and 8-Bit had lost as much as they dished out.

Point-Dexter had to flip a coin to decide whether to attack Gaffer or 8-Bit. After that, the battle was on.

= = =

Time passed, and populations dropped by the millions as city after city got bombed. In-game, this is represented by switching out game pieces representing the population centers: first a skyscraper, representing 25 million, is replaced by a mansion that represents 20 million, then 15 million by a cottage house, then 10 million by a hut, then 5 million by a tent, then finally a crater replaces where the city once stood.

8-Bit was the first to lose, with Point-Dexter used propaganda in his turn to reduce his last surviving city to a tent, which then got incinerated by a 10 megaton capacity Mayhem ICRB from 8-Bit. It was quite a spectacular scene; 8-Bit’s caricature world leader avatar, a diamond dog called King Bolide, vanished in a flash of light on the magically-enchanted character sheet.

Then, Gaffer went after Point-Dexter, who had been tossing balefire bombs at both him and 8-Bit, depending on who was the weakest during the rounds.

All this time, however, Shining Armor did not attack any of the nations, or even use propaganda or espionage. Instead kept using his turns for producing more weapons, with what being produced determined by what cards he drew.

As the rounds went on and his friends threw balefire weapons at each other, he was in the side-lines, doing nothing to attract their attention. Waiting. Observing.

And then, “I use my turn to prepare a Peacemaker ICRB.”

Gaffer and Point-Dexter looked up from their hastily-scribbled war-plans to behold Shining Armor as he placed the figurine at the center of his land. In their struggle, they almost forgot he was even in the game.

“A Peacemaker? Isn’t that the rocket-bomb with a 50 megaton warhead capacity?” Gaffer asked.

“It is… I didn’t think anyone got that on their arsenal up until now.” Point-Dexter recalled.

“While you lot had been duking it out, I had been doing nothing but churning out armaments and not drawing any-pony’s attentions. Shining Armor explained, “And additionally, I have the bonus of being the only player with his arsenal and all his population centers completely intact, whereas you guys are nearly out of warheads and only have two or three cities with less than 10 million people left.”

8-Bit’s jaws dropped, “How much do you have?!”

“I have ten for the 20 megaton warheads alone, with enough rocket-bombs and airship-bombers for that and all the other warheads. I even had a few Arcane-Beam Cannons and Airship Interception Rockets!”

Gaffer and Point-Dexter looked at each other, then simultaneously face-hooved at the realization that they had been out-gambitted.

“Well, I did say that it is obvious military logic to strike when your foes are done wearing each other out.” Point-Dexter noted dismally.

“Desperate times calls for desperate measures.” Gaffer declared, putting a front-hoof forward, “Team-up?”

“Until Shining is wiped off the map, or we are!” Point-Dexter reciprocated with a hoof-bump.

“It won’t be enough, busters!” Shining Armor declared confidently.

= = =

The final rounds were intense; Point-Dexter and Gaffer fought like demons, relentlessly attacking Shining Armor’s population centres even as Shining rained destruction upon them.

The strategy they agreed on kept them afloat longer than they would had otherwise; they would take turns each round, where one would launch rocket-bombs and airship bombers, while the other would replenish their own populations and weapons via propaganda, espionage and production. Sometimes their attacks would be intercepted by Shining’s ABC and AIR defences, but they still managed to chip away his population more quickly than he would had preferred.

But in the end, logistics and luck simply wasn’t on their side; Shining Armor had far more warheads and delivery systems in terms of power and quantity, and more population to take damage with, while Gaffer and Point-Dexter never fully recovered from their own exchanges. The ‘War!’ cards and fallout spinner arrow result wasn’t all good enough to deal sufficient damage either to Shining, either.

“To be fair, you two did a number on me. I’m down to about 18 million people spread across three cities.” Shining Armor assured, looking at the game pieces of two tents and a cottage house that represented his surviving population.

“But we’re down to less than 5 million between the both of us.” Gaffer said despondently, “We are not going to survive the next two rounds, and that’s a fact. Looks like Shining had won this game.”

“Not necessarily.” Point-Dexter noted.

“Why?” Everypony else asked.

“Remember the ‘Final Retaliation’ mechanic?” Point-Dexter explained, “When a losing player’s last city goes up in a mushroom cloud, the player’s nation will automatically fire everything it has left in their balefire arsenal, and I do mean EVERYTHING, whether or not the player has a delivery system for it.”

“Oh yeah; that was how 8-Bit took out one of my population centres with that 20 megaton warhead when he lost, even though he told everyone he ran out of missiles.” Gaffer recalled with a snicker, “Losing isn’t that bad with the prospects mutually assuring your enemy’s utter destruction as well.”

“Now consider this, every-pony:” Point-Dexter said, “we still have a few warheads left between me and Gaffer. Worse comes to worst, we’ll probably take Shining Armor with us if we go down and end this game with a draw.”

“How many do you have left?”

“We’re not going to just tell you that now, aren’t we?” Point-Dexter responded to Shining with a devious smile. “In any case, we can’t prepare any attacks by this point, so let’s skip the turns and do your coup de grace on both of us, now.”

Shining Armor proceeded with the killing blow: a 10 megaton Mayhem ICRB finished off 8-Bit’s last city, while he annihilated Point-Dexter’s population with a 20 megaton Doombringer ICRB.

‘Final Retaliation’ phase kicked in: Gaffer put forth two 20 megaton Doombringer ICRB miniatures in the center of his nation’s landmass, while Point-Dexter placed a 10 megaton Mayhem ICRB and a… and a…

“A Worldbreaker ICRB?!” Shining Armor exclaimed, looking at the relatively huge miniature rocket, “You meant to tell me you have a 100 megaton warhead with you the whole time?!”

“Lucky draw from the ‘Production’ deck during my last turn.” Point-Dexter said, rubbing his forehooves with glee, “I didn’t have a Skyfortress-2 strategic airship bomber or an actual Worldbreaker ICRB for it, but guess it’ll be fired after all."

For the first time during this game, Shining Armor felt dread; it seems his victory isn’t assured after all. Everything now depends on him surviving the four retaliatory strikes.

Strike 1…

Gaffer’s first 20 megaton warhead is intercepted by an ABC Shining deployed a few rounds earlier; defences, like weapons, requires one turn to deploy, but could stay on the board indefinitely until it is spent destroying an incoming attack. It was his last, and as this is the final turn, he won’t be able to deploy another one anyway.

Strike 2…

Shining watched as Gaffer drew a ‘War!’ card and spun the arrow. His heart skipped a bit when Gaffer announced the result, “Arrow says ’Dirty bomb – double the yield!’ 5 million of your people got totalled!”

Strike 3…

Shining wasn’t finished replacing the tent game piece with a crater when Point-Dexter announced his first result: “My 10 megaton warhead only killed 2 million, but the spinner arrow landed on a ‘Gamma Ray Fallout’ slice – I just whacked another 10 million in a single go!”

“Mare in the Moon! It’s going be a draw! There’s no way Shining could survive the 100 megaton warhead with only 1 million civilians remaining…” 8-Bit said from the sidelines.

“Come on! Come on!” Shining Armor begged, nearly sweating and trembling as Point-Dexter drew the final ‘War!’ card and spun the spinner arrow.

Strike 4…

“It says here on the card: 5 million dead. Well, looks like you’re kaput, Shining…” Point-Dexter began, only to nearly drop his glasses when he saw where the spinner arrow landed, “Oh come on!”

“What is it?!” Gaffer asked.

“It landed on ‘Dud warhead [no effect]’!” Point-Dexter exclaimed.

“It’s a dud.” Shining Armor whispered in awe, as if witnessing a miracle. “IT’S A DUD!!” He smiled and cheered ecstatically. Victory was his!

As if on cue, a victory animation played on the magically-enchanted high score sheet, with Shining Armor’s chosen world-leader character, an Alicorn princess caricature of Princess Celestia, waving two flags and celebrating with a victory dance, declaring in a speech bubble, “I win! I win!”. In the background was a post-apocalyptic scene: a dismal land of scorched-earth filled with charred skeletons and ruined buildings, all under a dust-choked, blood-red sky.

“I guess you won, Shining.” 8-Bit proclaimed with a heavy sigh, “But I wonder how having 1 million survivors left living in an irradiated wasteland counts as a victory.”

“Some people do, like Queen Chrysalis or Prince Rutherford, for example. And that’s a scary thought.” Gaffer noted sombrely, “To think, we started the game with a total population of 300 million between the four of us.”

“Let's hope it never comes to that. In any case, it seems the game played well enough; with a few tweaks and adjustments, I can have it published in no time!” Point-Dexter declared. Then a thought came to him, “In fact, I just got a few ideas for future games…”

Session 12.5 Kendell2

"So...the game is..." Rainbow Dash asked, staring at what was probably the single most pink game board she'd ever seen.

"Oh...well, you see..." Fluttershy said, giving a cute look." You play Cupids and you have to decide whether or not the ponies you draw from the deck should be in love and if you do, you use your arrow to make them fall in love."

Rainbow Dash gave a fake gag. "Yuck!"

"Dashie, you Pinkie Promised," Pinkie Pie reminded.

"Ugh...fine...Who invented this game anyway?"

"Thanks again for making that game for me, now ponies might actually respect my job!" said the little pegasus colt wearing a diaper, a quiver on his back and a bow in his hooves.

"You're welcome," 8-Bit said, giving a smile. "It sold well too, given the time of year."

"Speaking of which, I'd best be getting to work," he said with a smirk. "And before Mrs. Sparkle realizes where I am...again."

Session 12.6 Alex Warlorn

"OH! Um, excuse me! I can see this isn't the way to the petting zoo after all!" Fluttershy said, poking her head into the room, looking at Shining Armor, Gaffer, 8-Bit and Gizmo and their game of 'Doomsday'/‘World War!’/‘Oops, Apocalypse!’

Gizmo was left locked in place by the pretty face of Fluttershy. Shining Armor however, took out a magic lantern and waved it in front of Fluttershy. The white lantern light turned blue.

"-Not changeling!-" Beep the enchanted lantern.

"Paranoid much?" 8-bit asked.

"Ask that again when a changeling impersonates your wife."

"It's alright, I understand," Fluttershy said with a smile. "Twilight wanted to make sure Cadence's pregnancy was going well, and thought I might be able to help. ... What's this game you're playing?"

"IT'S NOTHING!" "MUSHROOM FARMING!" "COMEDY!" "PIE FIGHTING!" "MUSHROOM PIE FIGHTING!" "TIC-TAC-TOE!"

Fluttershy leaned in closer. Looking at the game board.

Shining Armor cringed, here came another browbeating from a sensitive mare with freaky mental powers.

"... Mind if I play a game with you?" Fluttershy asked.

The stallions looked at each other in horror. FLUTTERSHY playing a game LIKE THIS?! They didn't want to traumatize the poor mare!

"No no no! It's still in beta!" "It's boring and stupid!" "Lots of politics and military stuff!" "There are no cute bunnies!"

The stallions held their breath as Fluttershy's eyes scanned down the rule sheet's crib notes... her eyes narrowed and hardened. "I want to play a game."

Shining Armor whispered, "'Dexster, you didn't put in any 'diplomacy' options did you?"

"Not a one. It's IMPOSSIBLE for the game to end peacefully."

Shining Armor let out a sigh of relief. He loved Twiley, and her friends, but it was rather annoying how they kept derailing the games except of course when he WANTED to see them derail them.

"You can have my seat!" Shining Armor declared sitting up and giving his chair to Fluttershy.

His friends glared at him for leaving them to fear making Fluttershy cry and earn the bloodlust of every stallion in Ponyville.

"Can you nice stallions please, pretty please pretty pretty please, uh, if you want to that is, do me one tiny favor?"

"Yes?" Gaffer asked.

She said lowly, "Don't go easy on me."

So the game began... each side preparing for the inevitable utter destruction that awaited them all. Using propaganda to lure other populations to theirs, and of course building up bombers, launchers, bombs, bigger bombs, and and even bigger bombs with the sole purpose of annihilating entire cities.

"Uh, Fluttershy, you know you have to build bombs and missiles eventually to win right?" Gaffer asked.

"I know," Fluttershy said politely, as her population spent yet another round building ABC and AIR defenses. "In fact... how about I build a 100 megaton bomb? Several in fact."

The stallions again looked at each other, you didn't NEED to tell your opponents how many bombs you had built.

"You're bluffing!" Gaffer said.

"Am I?" Fluttershy ask nonchalantly. "Or am I about to rain down death and destruction on you all?!" She gave them all an evil grin!

"We have to save her from herself!" Gaffer whispered to the others. Gizmo nodded, remembering the rampage of New Fluttershy.

However, Fluttershy had deeply entrenched herself behind her defenses, and none of their bombers or missiles got through. Then... came the relentless propaganda campaign by Fluttershy. She targeted Gaffer first. Soon... his entire population had abandoned him for Fluttershy, increasing her productively even more!

Fluttershy's success fed on itself, targeting Gizmo next. Constantly taunting and baiting the stallions, keeping all the attention on her. It didn't help she was also sabotaging their weapon making efforts in the mean time. Gizmo went easier as New Fluttershy rattled his cage.

Then 8-Bit found himself alone. He almost wished there was a surrender option in this game, but then again, that kinda would have missed the entire point of mad-pony leaders throwing the entire world into final destruction over ego and spite.

The propagada kept coming... until 8-Bit found himself the ruler of an empty country, and Princess MoonShine-Butt Royal Canterlot Voicing orders at nopony.

Meanwhile, Fluttershy's Prince Blue-Nose sat on top of the entire world's population.

8-Bit used up the last of his missiles... he had... he had literally nothing left! Gizmo was sweating bullets as it looked like his game's spells were on the verge of crashing.

"I WIN! I WIN! I WIN!" Prince Blue-Nose danced a little jig. Shining Armor had never hated his cousin-in-law's face so much as he did at this instant.

Fluttershy's face immediately went back to normal as she threw up her hooves and shouted. "YIPPIE! I DID IT! I SAVED THE WORLD! NOPONY HAD TO DIE!"

The stallion's jaws dropped.

"THAT is what this was all about?" 8-Bit gasped.

Fluttershy blushed. "Uh, yes... uh, I ... I uh, fib by the way... I never built a single warhead... "

"WHAT?!" The stallions exclaimed.

"I had to keep all your attention on me SOMEHOW!" Fluttershy declared. Then blushed and said. "Oh I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to ruin the game for you!"

"It's... it's okay Fluttershy..." Gizmo said awkwardly. "This... this sort of thing is why we do beta to begin with..."

"And Prince Blueblood is now supreme ruler of the world, I think they might've preferred being blown up," Shining Armor said.

Fluttershy frowned slightly. "Now... I know Prince Blueblood is not easy to get along with... he's spent his whole life sheltered... is it any wonder he's spoiled and scared? I honestly wonder if anypony had ever tried to be REALLY his friend instead of just coming to him for favors."

Shining Armor had forgotten this was the mare who had given a heart to the heartless god of chaos himself.

"And really," Fluttershy said. "I think your game is... slightly flawed? Maybe?" Fluttershy added meekly, sincerely not wanting to offend the stallions who had clearly put a lot of time and effort into a game meant to help ponies not make a horrible mistake that couldn't be undone that didn't just effect them but the entire world and everything ponies had ever worked for.

"Such ponies, er, creatures, who are in it for the power, would not WANT a mega-spell war, because such conflict would result in the end of the that power. So if such weapons became common place, such kingdoms are more likely to fight by proxies using smaller countries to their advantage and economic warfare.

"Therefore, the end of the world by such weapons would be more likely to be triggered by a piece of malfunctioning equipment and a panicking officer believing the malfunction to be real, even if it shows the enemy having 200 times more missiles then they could ever possibly launch at once. This is more likely than say a trigger happy leader who knows the enemy is ready to do the same." Fluttershy gasped. "But! But whatever you want to do is fine! This is YOUR game! YOUR idea! YOUR message! I shouldn't be messing around with it! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"Uh, Fluttershy, it's alright," Shining said awkwardly.

"I'm sorry for BEING sorry! Sorry! E-excuse me! I better go see if Cadence wants anymore hay filled apples dipped in candle wax!" Fluttershy ran out the door.

Session 12.7 MtangaLion

Up in the skies of Ponyville, Rainbow Dash had sculpted a volleyball arena out of a low hanging cloud deck. She and Fluttershy hovered on one side of the fluffy cloud net, facing off against Twilight Sparkle... and Windy Whisper. Windy's colors stood out against the red and orange sunset-lit clouds... ash grey, with a short blue mane and tail, and black bat wings. Still, it was bright enough that the slit pupils of her golden eyes were barely visible.

Twilight beamed. "Thanks again for filling in. We would have been one short, with Derpy at parent-teacher night."

Windy stretched in mid-air, warming up. "Just so you know, I've never played Catch the Moth this way before."

Twilight's balloon floated off to one side, carrying the Cutie Mark Crusaders. "Go, Rainbow Dash!" cheered Scootaloo. "You can do it!"

Apple Bloom clung to the railing. "Do ya have to rock the boat so much?"

"I told you, you're perfectly safe," said Sweetie Belle. "I cast the slow fall spell on all of us already, and Twilight checked it twice."

"Heads up!" called Twilight. She lobbed their ball into the air, then spun and bucked it. The ball arced straight towards Fluttershy... who almost flew away in fright, but zipped back into place at the last second and kicked it.

Rainbow zoomed upwards, punting the ball back towards Twilight and Windy. "You're doing great, Fluttershy! Just need to keep your eyes open."

Windy did a spin and tumble to one side, kicking the ball, but it went just barely out of bounds.

"Nice moves," coached Rainbow Dash, "but you need to work on your aim just a teensy bit! One-zero!"

A while later, when the score was six to four in Dash and Fluttershy's favor, Twilight rushed to intercept the ball too late, and it fell through the cloud deck. "Ugh... I keep wanting to grab the ball with my magic when I should be getting into position!"

Rainbow Dash dove through the cloud deck, returning with the ball in a rainbow blur. "Let's take a break. No sweat, Twi! Learn and have fun. That's what we're here for."

"I wouldn't say I'm a total novice..." mused Windy.

Rainbow grinned. "Well, of course you'd be good. You have a flying cutie mark!"

Windy glanced at the blue and black feather on her flank. "Ah... no, I don't."

Rainbow Dash scratched her colorful mane with a hoof. "Huh!? But, you really are a good flier. It's not just those loopy thestral moves that I haven't seen before. I'd know. We should do some trick flying together sometime."

Windy Whisper blushed deeply. "Thank you, but... I'm good because I *practiced* a lot. It helps me clear my head."

Twilight blinked. "If that isn't a flying cutie mark, then what *is* your special talent?"

"If you don't mind telling us," put in Fluttershy quietly. "I mean, we wouldn't want to pry, would we girls?"

Windy tapped her chin with a hoof. "Actually..." She smirked. "I do mind. Did we bring any water?"

Rainbow twitched. "But..."

Twilight pointed. "In the balloon."

"Thanks, Twilight."

Rainbow twitched some more. "You can't just..."

Windy flapped her way over to the balloon, reaching for the cooler to open it and get a water bottle... but she'd forgotten about the Crusaders, who were now staring at her intently. "Um... hi! I just need..."

"That ain't a flying feather," mused Apple Bloom, right away.

Scootaloo's face lit up. "It's a quill pen. She's a writer!"

And Sweetie Belle said, "She writes... oooh." The filly's face turned red.

"You can't tell anypony that," hissed Windy.

"Why not?" asked Apple Bloom innocently.

Because Windy was the author of the Dusklight novels. Because she'd moved to Ponyville to get away from agents and fans pestering her. Because that Rarity pony had an entire shelf full of her naughty romance novels on display in her Boutique, and Windy was sure she'd never hear the end of it, if Rarity connected Windy with her pen name.

The cooler popped open all by itself. "Forever!" echoed Pinkie Pie's voice from inside. The lid quietly closed itself again.

"You know, you're right," said Scootaloo hastily.

"Your cutie mark story is your own business," said Sweetie Belle.

Apple Bloom nodded. "Nopony will hear about it from us!"

Windy's mouth hung open. "What..."

Session 12.8 Ardashir (with edits)

Gaffer, Poindexter, and 8-Bit were forced to admit, adding 'Queen Cheese-leg' to 'Oops, Apocalypse' was them just begging for an angry QUeen Chrysalis to come after them, weren't they?

And this time there was no giant, Neighponese changeling queen that was going to scare her into playing nice for complaining about it!

"THESE IS COMPLETE AND UTTER SLANDER! I won't let this stand! And neither will you if you want to see your little satire 'blow up the world' game ever turn a profit! For Rose Dust's sake, I want megaspells that mutate ponies into near mindless walking love batteries, not kill them."

"What was that last part?"

"Never mind," Chrysalis, said batting her lashless eyes at Poindexter, 8-Bit, and Gaffer. As the three stallions shuddered, she said, "Oh, and I have the latest module by 'Princess Crystal' here."

"Um, yeah, about those," Gaffer said as Poindexter took a folder labeled 'Liberate the Everfree' from her. "We've been getting some pretty nasty reviews of them, not to mention some angry letters from the Palace..."

"A real artist doesn't fear criticism," Chrysalis said. "Besides, this one attacks some other enemies of mine -- I mean, it's different in theme from 'Escape from Sweet Apple Knacker's Shop'."

"I'll say," Poindexter said, holding out the folder with its art of a heroic-looking Changeling queen facing a Zebra witch with the bones of foals tangled in her mane. He began to read. "The noble and heroic and lovely and youthful -- youthful??" He looked up, skepticism written plain on his face. When he caught the evil gleam in Chrysalis' eyes, he hurriedly said, "Ahem, 'youthful' Princess Crystal needs assistance in saving innocent nymphs from the Zebra Witch of the Everfree... Wait, didn't Shiny tell us about somepony like her once?"

"She's an awful pony," Chrysalis quickly said. "Tells scary stories to foals and lures older ponies into Poison Joke. Now then, everything is there, along with the offshore Mare-ibbean bank to send the bits to." She smiled seductively, or as seductively as a monster with mismatched fangs could smile. "Or you can just give me the bits now."

Poindexter began writing out the check as Gaffer pulled 8-Bit to the side.

"I'm beginning to think that 'Locust Legs' is using us to make herself look good and mock her enemies," he muttered as he watched Chrysalis tapping her foreclaws impatiently as she waited for the check. "Think we should tell her that we rewrite them into over the top satires for the humor market?"

"I very seriously doubt," 8-Bit said, watching as Chrysalis took her check, turned into a gorgeous unicorn mare with a body that would have made Fleur-de-lis look frumpy, and sashayed out, "that a mare like Chrysalis could ever 'get' satire about herself."

Session 12.9 Kendell2

The mecha RPG had gotten another update, namely an illusion projector spell (thanks to the Crystal Empire) that was able to use the mecha designs programmed into it to project the result of a battle. It wasn't quite advanced to project EVERYTHING yet, but it added to the manega feel to have visuals of important moments.

It'd also added in a 'hyper mode' function to help deal with the Prime-Evils. If certain conditions were met, their robot would transform into a stronger form with increased stats. Though to keep things challenging the Comet Kingdom mecha had the same ability.

In this case, they were still performing the final battle with the Comet Kingdom. While Fluttershy, Rarity, and Trixie's plan had disabled their defenses, they still had their own fleet, which included a new weapon with longer range than most of their fleet and a lot of power. On top of that, Rarity's 'prince' had to fulfill his agreement to the Comet King and try to stop them (Eros having got an upgrade as all of them had), which Rarity had taken to duel so the others could focus on the enemy at hand.

"Um, Twilight?" asked Fluttershy, who now had a second mecha called Guard Angel, who was a golden angel-like mecha with reflector abilities and ability to transform into a search and rescue plane, and could combine with Guardina. Looking at it, one could notice some minor rabbit theme.

"Yes, Twilight?"

"I want to combine Guardina and Guard Angel into Super Guardina and use her energy shield to block the Comet Kingdom's weapon so everypony else can get in.."

This got everyponies attention.

"You do realize that if you fail the defense roll, the blast will probably wreck you in one blast, right?" Twilight asked.

Fluttershy nodded. "But it'd protect our fleet and everypony else."

Twilight smiled. "Alright..." she did the calculations.

In the projection, the mecha combination sequence took up the charging turn of the cannon, Guardina gaining a new chest plate and head, both of which were golden in color, along with the wings with the text announcement of 'Super Guardina!' Rainbow Dash called it 'classic super robot'.

The massive laser blast came and Super Guardina formed a massive shield of energy in front of her.

Fluttershy rolled her dice and got the defense roll, resulting in the projection showing her holding back the beam with her energy field with some strain...then zoomed into the pilot (who naturally looked like Fluttershy as an Earth Pony) before zooming out to Super Guardina's head as her eyes lit up and the entire robot erupted in pink flames looking like the Fires of Friendship, the wings projecting it into full blown angel wings, and the name 'Super Guardina: Hyper Mode' projected.

"What happened?!" Fluttershy asked, blinking in surprise.

"Your willingness to sacrifice yourself to protect your fleet has met the conditions Super Guardina's hyper mode," Twilight explained. "Winning the defense roll means you transform into it. Which also means the beam you're holding back isn't pushing you back anymore thanks to the boost."

"...Then can I push IT back?" Fluttershy asked, and got a nod. "Then Super Guardina pushes the beam back all the way to take out the gun!"

The projection showed Super Guardina begin pushing the massive beam right back to the ship that was firing it, including with the classic image of the leader of the Comet Kingdom's face and the words "IMPOSSIBLE!"

Fluttershy did the roll to turn her defense into a counter attack.

Super Guardina pulled back a hoof as the gauntlet pulled down over it and the text for her character shouting 'Celestial Knuckle' (the name of the powered up version of her original finisher Fluttershy had given it, Fluttershy's power source didn't require FLUTTERSHY to yell the name of the takke or her transformations) as it punched straight into the core of the cannon with the water cannons propelling the blow forwards and literally ripped the weapon out of the ship before crushing it.

The projection finally ceased.

"Comet Kingdom gun disabled, invasion of their capital is now ready to go," Twilight explained.

"I'll catch up as soon as Eros deals with her relationship problems..." Rarity said, the projection showing an image of Eros facing off with her female pilot's ex-fiance.

Session 12.10 Alex Warlorn

The Elements of Harmony, stood around the game table yet again, with Starlight Glimmer sitting in as game master. This time, they had a set of school models in front of them. Along with figures of various colts and fillies and teachers. And for some reason figures of a bunch of identical fruit.

"It's called No Kumquat Left Behind," Starlight Glimmer said politely.

"Let me guess, another game you helped on Buck-Starter?" Applejack asked dryly.

"Well, yes, but I do hope you enjoy it," Starlight Glimmer said. "Your goal in each game is to earn a certain level of bits. You get bits by the grades of your students."

Rarity said, "So the goal is the best principle each of us can be, and encourage our students to learn and be happy at school?"

"Your teacher cast spells to educate the children, they can cast spells based on their energy, their energy increases based upon their salary."

"Magic and learning together?! That sounds great!" Twilight clapped her hooves.

Starlight kept smiling. Bad sign.

Twilight went over the stats for the individual students that Glimmer would be keeping track of, along with the teacher stats.

"Grades, moods, desires... Equanity?" Twilight blinked.

"Oh you'll see," Glimmer smiled.

The ponies began to play the game... and were struggle... Rainbow Dash's GBA was decent... but the school had no money for improvement and was falling behind.

Since Fluttershy didn't want to force the way the student's felt, her school was struggling with discipline... until she snapped and brought her hoof down and began casting spells left and right... and was left with an utterly exhausted teacher staff.

Rarity's school was rather lively with school events... but grades weren't doing that hot, and was also low on funds.

Applejack... had to close her doors, running a school was different from running a farm apparently.

Pinkie Pie... the school burned down.

Twilight was running the school perfectly... Finding that rare balance needed. That was when her little student figures... began poofing from foals into kumquats.

"W-what's going on?!"

"Oh, as their grades and discipline rises, they lose Equanity. Kumquats don't get into fights, don't make friends, don't bully others, they just go to class, and take tests. Your school is way ahead of others Twilight. With your student body of Kumquats, no one questions you authority, they just obey you without question."

"Suddenly, the way the humans act at Crystal Prep make so much more sense." Twilight said under her breath.

"Twilight, were YOU a Kumquat in Celestia's school for gifted unicorns?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Of course not! I was encouraged to ask questions, to think and learn!"

"The boons of being of the privileged few," Starlight Glimmer said calmly.

"I wasn't... privileged... I earned everything I had. Celestia has an open door policy to anypony who wants to take the entry examine!"

The individuality-less Kumquats obeyed their teachers without question. They got good grades, and the money came rolling in, and that was what mattered right?

"Is there some OTHER game we could play?" Twilight asks, not feeling comfortable she'd turned all her student into obedient fruit. In particular since she and her friends had experienced that when Sweetie's magic had gone out of control.

"There's Neo-Equestriaism." Glimmer took out another box. "Manipulate and exploit smaller countries, and slip as many bits as possible into your secret bank account, whoever had the biggest hidden bank account by the end of the game wins. Buy votes, sell votes, make countries economically dependent on you."

"They printed the map upside down?" Rarity blinked.

"In the immortal words of Chancellor Pudding Head,'The world is round, there is no up or down.' It's only through our nation's self centeredness are we at the top of the map," Starlight said.

"Uh, how about we go kill some goblins instead?" Rainbow Dash asked uncomfortably. "Or maybe just transport our high school to another reality via our shared alien-teenager science project?"

"Well, the Giant Truant Officer Robots that the school rented to get you all back to class already might be catching up with you soon anyway." Twilight said, then covered her mouth. "Oops!"

The other ponies' jaws dropped.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Session 12.0 Kendell2 (OOC: I imagine the battle borrowing from the Battle of A Boa Ko from Gundam.)
Session 12.1 Richforce (OOC: Major spoilers for Xenogear Chronicles X, you have been warned.)
Session 12.2 Kendell2
Session 12.3 MtangaLion
Session 12.4 Alex Warlorn
Session 12.5 BrutalityInc [For references, "Nuclear War", a tabletop card game and a computer game from the Cold War era]
Session 12.5 Kendell2
Session 12.6 Alex Warlorn
Session 12.7 MtangaLion
Session 12.8 Ardashir (with edits)
Session 12.9 Kendell2 (OOC: Figured since someone else MADE that plot point I shouldn't finish it, but this seemed VERY Super Robot Anime!
)
Session 12.10 Alex Warlorn (OOC: Based on the games No Pinapple Left Behind, and Neo-Colonialism.)

Cover art by Jittery-the-Dragon

Session 13

Session 13.0 Kendell2

"What is this?" Starlight asked, looking at the board that showed a pirate themed setting, but one that was decidedly up beat and happy.

"Well it's a game from Neighpon, sort of," Twilight explained. "Thanks to Button and his father making Manega themed RPGs popular, they gave the game an actual proper Equestrian translation through Button's father since he seems to be doing a good job of it. The basic plot line is that the Pirate King died years ago, but before he did he left his immense treasure somewhere at the end of the most hazardous sea on the planet, and whoever finds it will take his place. There are two sides you can play, pirates or marines, both of which have their subsections..."

"Aren't pirates normally bad guys?" Fluttershy asked.

"Yes...sort of..." Twilight explained, rubbing her head. "In this game, there are two types of pirate. Peace Mains, pirates who just want to have fun and go on huge adventures, finding lost treasures, and so on and so forth. Oh, and taking down BAD pirates. They see their crew as more valuable than any treasure. Then there are Morganeers, who are out for personal wealth, power, or to oppress and harm others. Those terms weren't really used in the FULL manega, only in the version one story the author did, but the game uses them for the sake of character aliment. The marines can be broken up into three categories: ponies who GENUINELY want to do the right thing and follow the SPIRIT of justice, even if they sometimes have to bend the rules, then there are those who believe the law is absolute and MUST be followed no matter what, even if it involves harming innocents, and lastly, those who are genuinely corrupt people. Basically, Marines try to stop pirates and bad people for the most part, just 'pirate' doesn't automatically equal 'evil.'"

"Oh yeah, I'm liking the sound of this!" Rainbow said.

"There are also magical fruits scattered throughout the setting that give whoever eats them super powers, which are divided into three types. However, a BIG part of the game is there's no such thing as a BAD one: you simply need to be as creative as possible to turn what seems like a dud into a very useful superpower. The main character of the Manega has one based on rubber, he's just very creative with it. The trade off, though, is you can't swim anymore if you eat one."

Starlight sighed. "So in other words, certain people have powers to put them above others."

"Well, actually no," Twilight replied. "Normal people in this setting can ALL use various tactics to fight people with the powers, and a few of the strongest ponies on the planet never even had one. The powers help, but its more or less stated in setting that people who RELY on their powers don't last long at all because of it."

"...Okay, I can see a few ways that makes things more fair."

"Oh, and you'll probably like this part," Twilight said, getting a somewhat sly look. "A few bosses are snobby nobles who are abusing their power and you need to take down."

"...Okay, I can get behind that..." Starlight said. She then blinked, looking at the game. "So the adaptation also used crowd funding?"

Twilight nodded. "Yes, though I didn't do it..."

Starlight then blinked, looking at the characters. "And why does one of the pieces look like me?!"

"Says it was a funding reward...at least you're not a big guy, but I wonder who did it..."

"Thanks for donating that money in my stead, Discord" said a mare looking identical to Starlight, only seeming much more fit and muscular. She was looking to the spirit of chaos through a dimensional portal. "I would gladly have done so myself, but you know how things go when our worlds directly interact."

"You're quite welcome," Discord replied, giving a chuckle. "I admit, I mainly did it to troll your alternate self...Okay, I did it SOLELY to troll your alternate self."

Mirror Starlight shrugged. "I'm just happy that a game promoting the idea ANY power or anyone can become great with enough work and creativity hit the shelves in your Equestria. Now if you excuse me, I have to go teach a garbage pony how to weld because he wants to apply his special talent to artistic endeavors."

"And that is why I like you! Such a good outside the box thinker! Now if you excuse me, I'm going to go ski down a mountain in the middle of a heatwave on sticks of peppermint while unfitting music plays in the background."

Session 13.1 Kichi

Twilight and the others were almost ready to begin another game night when suddenly a knock at the door interrupt them. As Twilight open the door, she could see Queen Chrysalis sitting in front of the door smiling and a package in his mouth.

"Girls! Chrysalis is here!" Shouted Twilight as she and the others got ready to battle.

"Wait wait... I come in peace, please, don't hurt me," Squeaked Chrysalis making all the other look at her confused. "I come with a new game even," assured the queen. Twilight raised an eyebrow and with her magic took the package, and opened it.

"Let's see... 'Changeling: The Hive, you live as changelings with the chance of one of you becoming a queen as you try to survive in Equestria'... Really?" Ask Twilight.

"Well, a Queen need to try sometimes, right?"

Session 13.2 Mooncalf99

"Are you quite sure Twilight will be okay with this?" Rarity asked, concerned.

"Oh yeah, sure," the young dragon said. "This is just the thing for having two game masters, isn't it? Twilight's fine with it. I bet she'll be happy for our initiative."

For the evening, the second half of the gaming group had gathered at Fluttershy's cottage. While it lacked the table space and general amenities of the castle, it more than made up for it in coziness and readily available animals. Admittedly, only Fluttershy considered the latter an actual advantage, but they made do. Spike was considering enlisting Angel Bunny to play any particularly vicious alien baddies, though.

"Oh, you bet?" Discord asked. "Care to back up that bet with something?"

Spike gave him a look. "Sure. I'll wager… my limited edition Wonderbolt Adventures #63, the Nightmare Night issue."

"One of your rare comics, huh?" Discord mused. "Very well, I'll match it with something interesting. I think Screwball collects comics from alternate timelines… well, on those days she actually exists."

Sucker, Spike thought. #63 is an overhyped piece of garbage nopony would pay a bit for. "Anyway," he continued out loud, "can we get started? You've been suspecting that the rest of your friends are up to something, right? Especially since they've been missing classes for days now."

"Playin' hooky, are they?" Applejack said sinisterly. "Well, Crimson Tape ain't havin' none o' that."

"And they might be in trouble," Starlight pointed out, tapping her white mask against her cheek. "As their friends, it's important that we help them in any way we can."

"Of course!" Fluttershy said. "Um, Starlight? Are you going to be okay with this? I mean, playing on both teams? I've never really done that, but it seems like it could be very confusing."

"Don't worry about me," Starlight said confidently. "You girls know that I can be… duplicitous, when I need to be. I'll keep everything we and they do separate. From myself, or should I say, myselves, as well."

"Unless knowledge can be passed along between you?" Spike suggested.

"No," Starlight said. "That would be cheating. And I'm not going to invent powers like that unless Twilight is okay with it as well. Pulling tricks out of your sleeves is something Trixie might do."

"Okay then," Spike said. "So, I guess we begin with Crimson Tape…"

Applejack suddenly stood up and raised a hoof towards the ceiling. "Mua-haha! Aahahaha! Science!" She looked sheepishly at the others. "Sorry, jes' getting into character. Ah figure ah'm sciencin' away in the lab."

"Science is a verb now?" Starlight asked in curiosity.

"That's fine and all, but you're all at the soda shop," Spike pointed out.

"Oh," Applejack said. She shrugged. "Ah, t'heck with it, ah keep goin'." She cleared her throat. "Earth pony science is the best in Equestria! We can save the world… with steam!"

"Groovy cat," Rarity mused dryly. "Just to be clear, did you say that for a reason, or just… because?"

"Jus' because," Applejack said happily. "Now, mah classmates, ah've gathered y'all here fer a reason."

"I thought we came here for the Tuesday discount cupcakes, since Hungry for once isn't around to eat them all," Discord objected.

"Hmm… okay, fair point," Applejack said. "An' that's jus' it. No Hungry with her weird eatin' habits. No Wings crashin' into everythin'. No Bright wantin' everypony ta pay attention ta her. No… whatever that other weirdo with all the claws an' fangs an' flamey breath calls herself, tryin' ta pick fights."

"So we's chill and peace for once," Rarity pointed out. "You got trouble with that?"

"Well, yes, I do at least," Discord said. "It's rather boring, once you've grown used to them. At this rate, I'll have to be the bad guy."

The rest of the group stared at him.

"That was out of character!" Discord said hurriedly. "Random Act is very careful to maintain his image as an upstanding model pony and student."

"Well, I for one would never doubt Random's decency and earnestness," Fluttershy said with a happy grin. "Besides, they might be in trouble, and as their friends… wait, we said that already, didn't we?"

"Not in character, but yes," Starlight said. "Anyway, Ra's been separate for a while now and might be involved too. And it's causing me considerable distress."

"Really?" Spike said. "Twilight didn't say your separation was dangerous."

"Well, not rules-wise, but Lib is probably getting anxious since this has never happened before," Starlight pointed out.

"Okay, back in character," Rarity said. "So how do we bust those cats?"

"With science!" Applejack cried triumphantly.

"Not everything can be solved with science," Discord pointed out.

Applejack grumbled under her breath. "Blasphemy. Twilight would wash your mouth out with soap if she heard you say that."

"Completely unexpectedly, Agent L of the Mares in Black sits down at your table," Spike said. "'Greetings, faithful students!' she greets you. In a very loud voice."

"Just so we're clear," Starlight asked. "That's actually Princess Luna, right?"

"What? No, no, that's silly. What gave you that idea?" Spike said glibly. "Agent L wears a black suit and shades, unlike Luna."

"But she's got wings and a horn and a dark blue coat, right?" Starlight asked.

"Could be prosthetic," Spike replied. "To throw you off the scent, be able to look like anypony."

"Prosthetics?" Starlight asked, raising an eyebrow in disbelief. "What, even the coat?"

"Especially the coat," Spike said.

"Ahem," Applejack said pointedly, cutting off the pointless out-of-character digression. "Greetings, yer… Agentness, ma'am. What brings ya here? We all got our IDs an' exchange student Visas…" She threw a glance at Starlight, Rarity and Fluttershy. "…Right, gals? We ain't in no trouble, are we?"

"'Nay!'" Spike announced, trying spiritedly at emulating the Lunar Diarch's voice. "'Yon wayward compatriots hath asc… abso…'" He coughed. "Ah, buck it, I'm not doing the voice," he said, sounding his normal self. "Just play along. Ahem. 'Your friends have stolen several pieces of classified government property, including the Mark 86 Patho-Fusion Overthruster. If it isn't recovered in time, our secret alliance with the Changeling Master Hive may be in jeopardy.'"

"We have an alliance with the changelings?" Fluttershy asked.

"Secret alliance," Applejack corrected helpfully. "That's why we don't know about it. Prob'ly part o' the plot to taint our water supplies wit' love-fluoride chemicals. 'S why Crimson Tape only drinks cider."

"You have an awfully conspiracist streak for somepony who's supposed to be straight-laced," Discord said. "I'm impressed, really."

"So you want us to go after them and bring back those things?" Fluttershy asked. "Because you can't get involved yourselves?"

"'Yea…' Uh, 'yes, that is correct. We cannot afford to tip our hoof this soon, lest the Tirexian Alliance finds out,'" Spike said. "'But nopony would suspect a group of hapless foo… four students… FIVE students, would be up to anything important. Also, agreeing to this and carrying it out successfully may absolve you of up to twenty-eight percent of your accumulated past transgressions.'"

"That's a pretty good deal," Discord agreed. "I think some ponies would prefer not to think about the antimatter apple incident."

"You botch one single splicing roll, and you never hear the end of it," Applejack muttered. "Fine. It's a deal. Only problem is, we ain't got a ride to chase 'em in, and I *suppose* I ain't allowed to build one."

"I probably should have a ship *somewhere*…" Starlight mused. "I guess Ra took that memory with her."

"I stowed away on a ship that landed on my home planet," Fluttershy offered. "They were in a great hurry to leave. Barely stepped out in the forest for more than a few minutes before running back. Such a shame."

"'Fear not, a craft of sufficient power is hidden away in the Everfree Forest for your disposal,'" Spike said. "'And so we have an agreement. Now, we must remove all memories of this meeting.'"

"Wait, what?" Starlight protested.

"Agent L then shouts at you all loudly until you all pass out from - thankfully - non-permanent ear damage," Spike continued. "When you all eventually wake up, you have no memory of meeting Agent L, changeling alliances, love fluoridation, or who put five boxes of mooncakes on your tab. You do know - somehow - that there's a hidden spaceship in the forest for you to take. Also, you want to spend more effort appreciating the beautiful night. Also, you think that Luna is best princess."

The players looked at him incongruously.

"Well, all right then," Applejack said. "Hey, ah know where we can find us a spaceship! Let's go after them varmints!"

"Great thinking!" Discord agreed. "Also, praise Luna!"

Session 13.3 Mtangalion

Filthy Rich laid a stack of chips on the board, making a show of chuckling ominously. "I'm purchasing two additional houses each for Boardtrot and Park Place, for a total of eight hundred bits."

"Done," said Big Mac, deftly sweeping the chips into the bank and laying down four of the miniature house tokens. Mr. Rich still wasn't sure how he did it, with hooves that large.

Mr. Rich frowned ever so slightly... his opponents didn't seem intimidated at all, and his cash reserves were low. He suddenly found himself grinning instead. He might actually lose. How exhilarating!

The Doctor scooped up the dice and threw yet another lucky roll, squeaking right in between houses and hotels to land on his own property. "Neigh York Avenue! My, now that's a relief... This has been a fascinating, wonderful game! Though I'm still curious as to how it was arranged, and why."

Spike merely grunted as he took the dice, apparently undecided whether to propose a trade or roll right away.

Mr. Rich hoof-shrugged. "The credit or blame for that must go to me, I suppose. Just recently, my dear Spoiled Rich found some of these peculiar games quite therapeutic. Did you know, she's actually thinking of changing her name back to Golden Tiara? At any rate, Princess Twilight proposed that I too could benefit from a game, and asked what sort of game I might enjoy."

Spike rolled the dice and counted out nine spaces... past the starting line and right onto Saltlick Avenue. The little dragon huffed, paying Big Mac the four hundred and fifty bits he owed with a murderous glare.

Mr. Rich glanced towards Big Mac and could only note the slightest flick of an ear. The red stallion's poker face hardly budged. Mr. Rich coughed, continuing. "In the end, I wound up making a small wager, that she could not arrange a game of Monopony that would be a true challenge." He gave his moneybags cutie mark a significant glance. "Even to me." The business-pony allowed himself a chuckle. "I should have known... the Princess, with her resources... I say, Big Mac? How many bits are in the bank, exactly?"

Big Mac glanced at the bank, tapping a hind hoof as if he was counting. "Seven thousand, eight hundred, and thirty-five," he answered, after a few seconds.

"You see?" exclaimed Mr. Rich quietly. "I knew who it was who managed the bits in the Apple family, but merciful Celestia, his business instincts are uncanny!" He pointed a hoof. "You, Doctor, are as devious a schemer as I've ever seen. And young Spike... well..."

"Pardon me a moment," said the Doctor, when Big Mac took the dice. "Mr Apple! I propose to trade the Friendship Express and the Horseshoe Line for Marevin Gardens. Oh, and Saint Sweetheart Place as well."

Big Mac leaned across the table, giving the Doctor a hard stare. "Is that a fair deal?"

The Doctor actually began to sweat. "Of course... that is to say... Define fair!"

Big Mac smirked and rolled his dice, then abruptly looked less smug when he landed on a hotel. "Horseapples," he muttered quietly, pushing eleven hundred bits across the table to Spike.

Spike snatched the bits with a sharp-toothed grin, adding them to his hoard. The little dragon hissed at them too, letting off a plume of green smoke.

Filthy Rich leaned towards the Doctor. "What are we supposed to do if he starts growing?"

The Doctor tugged on his lapels. "Ah, well, I have a clever plan. It firstly involves not losing."

Filthy Rich blinked. "And failing that?"

"Being elsewhere, naturally!"

Session 13.4 Alex Warlorn (This is just something I had to get off my chest. Sorry.)

8-Bit sighed. "Hey guys... it's a letter from Princess-"

"Let me guess, LUNA again?" Gizmo groaned.

"No, Celestia this time. Princess Luna apparently LOVES it, minus her typical dislike of her being lampooned, but Prince Celestia had her promise not to invade our dreams. Princess Celestia says that Celestia appreciate us lampooning heads of state, as it encourages ponies to think for themselves, and not to think of their leaders as infallible, and she appreciates the message that even 'winning' such a war is no real victory. And the message of how distant and unreal the lives of others equines can seem when they're just numbers on a list and coldly reminds ponies how easy it is to fall into that. But she says that she feels having no diplomacy option indirectly creates the idea that such a war is inevitable, and thus trying to prevent it is meaningless, and goes against the Equestrian mandate that it is never too late to broker peace."

Gaffer shuddered. "... I'll admit... I didn't think how some ponies might take it that way... maybe we should include a way to shut the game off half way and a 'Peace!' message pops up? Or would that simplify things too much?"

"We'd have to come up with a completely different game engine for diplomacy, and that would dilute the message if it was that big a part of the game."

"Let's sleep on it, at least know Princess Luna won't be visiting our dreams tonight."

Session 13.5 Zaku and Alex Warlorn

Luna pause in her work at the dreamscape "Hmm.... don't know why.... but we feel as if we have miss a great opportunity to mess with Discord over something he doth speakish."

"Help!!" A Pony shouted as he ran away from a group of one arm bandits AKA slot machines.

"Oh right, nearly forgot about that." Luna said as she blasted them "HAVE AT YE, thy caricature from that one Twilight Zone episode." (She'd watched that show from the human worldd under Sunset Shimmer's suggestion).

But Princess Luna was not without her friends.

"Great thinking!" Discord agreed. "Also, praise Luna!"

Nopony (or draconequus) had any idea that Pipsqueak just outside the window of Fluttershy's cottage, had JUST recorded Discord's words: 'Praise Luna!'. Pipsqueak thought, 'This is SO Her Nightjesty's new magic scroll ring tone!'

Session 13.6 SomeRandomMinion Ardashir Alex Warlorn

"Queen Tiamat?? What does SHE have against us? We made dragons heroic in the last game!"

"By making one of the victory requirements the sacrifice of a dragon's hoard to save their young. My children find this ridiculous; no dragon worth their scales would choose between their hoard and their young. They would consume the offender and incinerate their home as a warning to other fools!"

The ponies whispered.

"..Guess Tiamat isn't one to accept the idea of dramatic license..."

"Dragons are notorious for their tempers."

"And thin skins..."

"My draconic-senses can hear you!"

Gizmo, having no family waiting for him at home, rolls eyes at Tiamat. "Welcome to the world of mass media."

Queen Tiamat roared. "Oh, so it's their fault!" Tiamat flew off to incinerate the local news paper.

Gaffer looked uncomfortable. "... Guys, I think we made a boo-boo."

8-bit said. "Well, that one columnist DID make that one joke about Tiamat accidentally sitting on a Griffon city Bahamut gave to her for her birthday..."

Point-Dexter grimly nodded. "Yeah, that'll do it."

Gizmo looked out the window. "We're okay... looks like Princess Celestia is challenging Tiamat to an ancient divine trial by contest."

"What's the contest she's chosen?"

"... Cookin' Mommy for the Whinii."

"Mina of Dragon Town!"

"Yes your Majesty?"

"You will take this contest for us... these ponies do not make... controls in our size."

"... Yes your Majesty."

Session 13.7 Mooncalf99

"…And after fending off the last cragodile, you cross the rope bridge and stand before the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters™," Spike announced.

"About bucking time," Applejack groused. "The real Everfree didn't have wildlife this ferocious. Ya sure yer not slippin' back inta the ol' 'killer GM' mood there?" She turned to Starlight. "Thanks fer carryin' me. Can't believe I got knocked out that fast."

"Lib will gladly shoulder any burden for a friend," Starlight said. "As she knows you'd do the same for her. Because we're friends." She winked.

"I couldn't help but notice how every single one of those plunder vines went after me," Discord said, a bit annoyed. "Almost as though a certain individual was still harboring a grudge."

"I have absolutely no idea what you're implying," Spike said with a shameless smirk. "Blame the random number god."

"Oh, we'll have words later, she and I," Discord muttered sinisterly.

"I think it was a wonderful trip," Fluttershy gushed. "So many cute animals to hug."

"Cool, cool," Rarity said. "But let's mosey before my antigrav hightops run outta fuel. Where's our dream ride at? Inside Big Mama's crib?"

"Inside…" Spike began, trying to translate Rarity's incomprehensible disco-speak. If he didn't adore her to the point that gainsaying any subject of her wondrous being became an epic-level challenge, he'd opine that she was maybe laying it on a bit thick. But he did, so he couldn't, so he didn't. "No, it's not inside the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters. But after looking around a bit, you find an old shed out in the back. Also known as the lesser-known Castle of the Royal Pony Nephew."

"Great. Blueblood's place." Rarity rolled her eyes. "Just the pony I didn't want to be reminded of during my leisure time."

Meanwhile, in Canterlot…

Blueblood looked at his cards and grinned victoriously. "All right, I accuse… Colonel Mustard, in the library, with the candlestick."

Fleur de Lis tilted her head quizzically at him. Fancy Pants cleared his throat. "Ah… Blueblood, old bean?"

"Yes?" Blueblood replied. "Go on, see if I'm right."

"Blueblood, we're playing Canasta," Fancy Pants said.

"Oh." The prince paused in thought. "So… I don't win?"

Back at Fluttershy's…

"I search the shed for any spaceships," Fluttershy said. "Is it big enough to hold one?"

"Might be one of those 'bigger on the inside' thingies that are popular right now," Discord said. "Incidentally, Rarity, about your boutique…"

"You're not supposed to notice that," Rarity said quickly. "Spike, does Mane find anything?"

"Hidden under a pile of old 'Pony Beat' magazines and empty soda cans is a square panel with a dirty, scratched screen," Spike explained. "When you touch it, it lights up and says, 'input password'. There's no keyboard, but a small grill underneath the screen looks like some kind of microphone."

"A password, huh?" Rarity said, sounding annoyed. "Bogus."

Discord tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Well, I suppose we could bruteforcing it…"

"I'm not sure damaging government property is the right thing to do," Fluttershy protested. "Besides, all the powerhouses are on the other team, aren't they? Do we even have anything that could work?"

"We have you, my dear and admirably humble little Griffonese army knife of alien abilities," Discord said, causing Fluttershy to blush deep red. "But I was more thinking of password bruteforcing. That is to say, we simply try everything we can think of until we find the one that fits."

"Won't work, would take too long," Applejack said. "Assumin' it's eight letters, that's in the neighbourhood o' a hundred an' fifty billion combinations. Even if ya trim out the nonsense words…" She fell silent. "What? Why y'all starin' at me like that?"

"How did you… get that number?" Spike asked in disbelief.

"Shucks, Spike," Applejack laughed. "It's jus' twenty-five to tha power o' eight. Numbers are easy when ya work with apples. If'n ya asked Mac, he'd give ya the exact figure."

"And some still call you a silly pony," Rarity chuckled. "Okay, so if that's not an option, what can we do?"

"Hold on a moment. I want to try something," Starlight said. She cleared her throat. "'Luna is best princess'."

"'Beep. Password accepted,'" Spike announced. "The floor starts shaking and splitting open while the walls fall away."

"Of course!" Applejack exclaimed. Then she added, "…Of course, ah had no idea that something like that would have worked, because ah don't know what this place is. Ah definitely don't remember an assignment by the mibs."

"Clever, clever," Discord mused. "I take it the whole poorly built shed was just another cover and it's folding away to allow access?"

"No, it's just genuinely poorly built and collapsing because the ground is shaking," Spike said. "You may want to get out before the roof falls on you."

Several hasty dodge rolls and a few points of bonk later, the group had moved back outside.

"The ground opens in a circle, and a massive craft rises out on an elevating platform, coming to a stop before you," Spike said. "It's big but sleek, shaped like a fish, painted matte black, and looks like it's moving incredibly fast even when it's sitting still. The name 'Mochi Maker' is written in dark blue. Also, on the rear fin is scribbled 'Jerome was here'."

"Aw," Fluttershy sighed happily. "I wonder how those boys are doing."

"Since Ah've got the closest ta mechanical skills here, ah check it over, see if it's workin'," Applejack declared. "And… anythin' ah can improve on?"

"It looks to be in perfectly spaceworthy shape, with full tanks and everything," Spike said. "Although inexplicably it's actually smaller on the inside than on the outside."

"That is such a rookie mistake to make," Discord scoffed. He nudged Rarity. "Right? Right?"

"Shut up, Discord," Rarity hissed. "Well, mamas and papas," she announced, "this ride looks ready to roll! So I'mma take the helm, slam my best mixtape into the deck--"

"Hang on one cotton-pickin' minute, I wanted to drive!" Applejack protested.

"Shotgun!" Fluttershy shouted quickly.

"Dang!" Applejack swore.

"--And takeoff!" Rarity announced. "Wahaha!"

"So we shouldn't… prepare or…" Starlight sighed. "Oh, all right. I get in. Just make sure everypony is buckled in properly."

"The engines fire, and the ship takes off into the sky," Spike declared. "You're hot on their trail now. Or you would be, if you had any idea where they went, besides 'into space'."

"Oh, right," Discord said, snapping his claws. "That would have been useful to know, too. Too bad for us!"

Session 13.8 BrutalityInc

Twilight’s friends and the rest of Ponyville were getting worried.

Over the last few days, Princess Twilight has not made a single public appearance. While there was no important ceremonial or diplomatic functions that she was missing, she had not shown up to meet with friends, buy groceries and attend to appointments.

Given her usual obsessive-compulsive adherence to schedules, such a deviation from her daily routines was jarring, and adding to the fact that that her presence has become a familiarity in town, her sudden disappearance was inevitably worrying, disturbing even.

Compounding that worry is that during that time, the Friendship Castle had been hermetically sealed, allowing no pony, not even Twilight's friends in the Friendship Council, to enter. Attempts at entrance all ended in failure – not only was every window and door barred, multiple layers of magical wards had been placed to prevent any attempts to break in by brute-force or arcane sorcery.

Speculation quickly spread across town, with each pony having their own theories as to why the Princess of Friendship was missing or what she was doing. The most-widely believed ones were that the Princess was either conducing some experimental science project, researching powerful new magic, or is being held hostage by some villain who had absconded her and is secretly holding her inside her own castle (Not that the last one would be any surprise, given the frequency of evil villains running around in Ponyville as of late).

It wasn’t until the seventh day of her absence that there was a definitive answer. On that morning, a purple baby dragon stumbled out of the main entrance of the Friendship Castle.

Rainbow Dash, just then discussing what to do outside with the rest of the Mane Six, was the first to spot him. “Look, everypony! It’s Spike!”

Almost at once, the ponies turned and rushed to his position, “Spikey-Wikey!” Rarity called out to him, “Oh thank Celestia you’re alright! What happened to you? Where’s Twilight?”

“Wait a minute… this isn’t the kitchen…” Spike muttered, seemingly half-awake, as he wandered about in a daze. Upon closer inspection, the ponies saw that he was looking worse for wear; he was exhausted, his scales were tarnished and dirty with pen marks, and his whole body was covered with, of all things, sheets of paper, stuck to his scales with blue-tag.

“The kitchen? Spike, what in tarnation were yah and Twilight up to? We haven’t seen y’all fer a week!” Applejack asked, looking mildly incredulous by Spike’s appearance.

“Indeed. We’re worried sick for you two, darling! What were you doing? And why are you…” Rarity removed one of the sheets on his surface and glanced through them, eyes widening with shock as she grasped the contents, “… covered in what seemed to be score-sheets?”

Spike tried to answer. Emphasis on ‘tried’; a moment later, his mind promptly gave up, and he collapsed asleep into Rarity’s embrace, snoring loudly.

“The poor dear. Whatever it is Twilight’s been doing, Spike’s exhausted because of it!” Fluttershy shook her head, “I think it’s best that we put him to bed in his room, then ask Twilight in person.”

But before they could even act, a purple magical aura – and an orange magical aura – grabbed one of each doors of the Friendship Castle’s entrance and slammed it shut.

“… Or we could bring him to Sugarcube Corners and ask him when he wakes up.” Pinkie Pie suggested. “I’ll go make some hot cocoa.”

= = =

When Spike had woken up and recovered sufficiently, he told the gathered group of ponies everything he knew.

“It all started one week ago, when Sunset came back from the other side of the Magic Mirror for a visit.” Spike said, pausing to take a sip of Pinkie’s hot cocoa, “It was meant to be just an afternoon chat, and the conversation drifted to Sunset’s extracurricular activities.”

“What kind of activities? Does one of them include a party club?” Pinkie Pie interjected excitedly.

“No, Pinkie, but Sunset did joined a lot of the nerdy ones – the debate club, the maths club, the student union, the science society, and the rest.” Spike said. At the back, Rainbow Dash was looking decidedly bored. “But then Sunset mentioned she was a member of the chess club. Hearing this, Twilight decided that Sunset Shimmer would be the ideal pony to play chess with her.”

“A game of chess? Is this what the whole fuss is about?” Rarity asked.

“Not just ANY game of chess, a special variant that Twilight just recently discovered.” Spike elaborated, “Tell me, what do you think a classical chess game would look like if it had been designed by O&O players?”

At the ponies’ shrugs and head-shakes of cluelessness, Spike continued, “Apparently, that was a question that one pony, who was none other than the creator of O&O himself, once found himself pondering about. Unlike most O&O players, he actually went on to design and make it a reality. He called it –” Spike raised his claws dramatically, “– OGRECHESS!”

As if on cue, there was a crack of thunder and flash of lightning. The ponies looked out the window to see Muffins flying past, her mailmare uniform slightly singed, a dark storm cloud floating nearby with her face imprinted on it.

Spike carried on, “Anyways, it was the strangest board-game; Instead of one normal chessboard like in classic chess, it has three chessboard. They were stacked on top one another in a special rack.”

“Three chessboards?! How the hay does that even work?!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

Spike shrugged, “I won’t go into the details of how the game works, since it’ll probably take me a whole day to do it, but basically, the upper chessboard represents the sky, and is populated by three sky units – six Sylph, two Griffons and a Dragon on each side. The middle chessboard represents the surface, and is arranged closest to normal chess with land units – twelve earth-pony Warriors, two Oliphants, two unicorn Riders, two Heroes, two Thieves, one Cleric, one Mage, one Paladin, and last but not least, one Alicorn Princess, again on each side. The lower chessboard represents underground, and each player has six Diamond Dogs, two Basilisks, and one Elemental. Many of the units are bound to their levels, but some can move and capture pieces in the boards above and below them.”

“That sounds mighty wacky, if yah ask me…” Applejack commented. “How come she didn’t tell us earlier about it?”

“She was planning to invite Rarity or Fluttershy over to try it out, knowing that both of them has some chess experience in the past. She honestly thought that the other three wouldn’t be interested in the slightest, or even capable of playing with any ability.” Seeing the glares from said Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, Spike covered his slipping mouth. “Oops…”

“Back to the matter at hoof; how’s this explain why Twilight has disappeared from the public eye for over a week?” Rarity asked, interjecting, “Surely a game of chess couldn’t possibly be the cause of that?”

“That’s the thing, Rarity; somehow, it DID. Both mares got excited about testing out the chess game variant, but then Sunset suddenly told Twilight not to feel so bad if she lose the first time.” Spike winced, and took another sip of hot cocoa before continuing, “She kept it hidden well, but I could tell that Twilight got cheesed off by that comment in her heart. You could almost hear something snapping in her brain.”

“But why? It’s just a game! And just like any game, whether you win or you lose, it doesn’t matter so long as you have fun!” Pinkie Pie asked, “Why did Twilight took it so seriously?”

“Because she has never lost a game.”

Silence reigned momentarily at the table at that declaration.

“Are you sure you aren’t exaggerating?” Fluttershy suggested, “I mean, it’s almost a given she’ll win most games, being the smartest mare we ever know, but...”

“No, no, Fluttershy, everypony, listen to me. Take this from a baby dragon who has lived his whole life by her side: Twilight. Has literally. Never. Lost. A game.” Spike insisted, almost with reverence, “Twilight is probably the smartest mare to ever walk Equestria, let alone the smartest we know. She told me that she learnt how it was played just from seeing her father and her brother playing it, just once, in Canterlot Park. From that day onwards, she has beaten virtually everypony, without a single loss.”

“Everypony?” The Mane Six asked as one.

“EVERYPONY – her father and Shining Armor? Complete curbstomps. Her teachers at the Academy? A breeze. Professional chess players? No problem. World Chess Champions? Their defeats by her was in the newspapers. Even Princess Celestia, with all her thousand years of chess experience, could only hope to delay her own inevitable defeat for around an hour or two. Despite it being nothing more than a hobby, Twilight was mighty proud at being the undisputed queen of the chessboard.”

“So when Sunset Shimmer went on her high horse and hinted to Twilight that she was going to win…” Applejack began.

“… Twilight took it as a challenge.” Spike finished, nodding.

“Sunset Shimmer just had to go poke a hornet’s nest, does she?” Rainbow Dash said, smirking slightly. “Did Twilight kicked her flank?" 
“Actually, no. Because as it turns out, Sunset Shimmer, Princess Celestia’s previous student and Twilight’s intellectual rival, ALSO never lost a chess game in her whole life.” Spike said, “Sunset was honestly believing that she was going to win just like any other time, and was baffled that Twilight was a match for her. As far as it is concerned, both mares never met anypony who has ever been their equal in chess, whatever the game mode or variant, until recently.”

“And that’s what happened?” Rarity asked. “They went to play Ogrechess, and they just never stopped?”

Spike nodded, “First game ended in a draw by insufficient material. Second game ended in another draw by stalemate, with neither Twilight or Sunset being able to move legally or in check. Third game tied too by threefold repetition, and it just went on, and on, and on.” Spike shook his head, “All this time, they had me running ragged, writing down every move made and the scores, going to the kitchen and the library to fetch coffee and magical spells that could keep them up overnight. They've become completely obsessed with it!”

“Alright, we’ve heard enough! So what do we do? How can we get them to stop?” Rainbow Dash asked aloud, ready for decisive action.

“The only ways I know would make them stop would either to destroy the Ogrechess board, or they run out of food.” Spike said with a shrug, “But both mares seemed to know how to magically conjure food, so that option’s out. And as you can see, they had shut off all the windows and doors to remove all distractions or interference. They’re not going to stop playing until one of them wins, and none of them wanted to be the first the lose.”

“Plus, none of us wants to be turned into oranges by them in a fit of rage, even if we managed to get in and destroy the board.” Applejack muttered dismally, “This leaves us with just waiting until either one of them wins. But how long do y’all think THAT is going to take?”

The ponies present either groaned or shook their heads.

“Well, at least this answers the question my sister Maud always pondered about.” Pinkie Pie said suddenly.

“What’s that?” Somepony asked.

“‘What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?’” Pinkie Pie said, “It’s obvious they’ll cancel each other out!”

Session 13.9 Mooncalf99

Fluttershy heaved a sigh. "Discord?"

The draconequus poofed into existence, dressed in a fancy Saddle-Arabian outfit for some reason. "What is thy bidding, my friend-mistress?"

"Um... could you please get Twilight out of there? I think this is taking things too far."

"Oh, no no no," Discord protested. "With her occupied, I won't have anypony opposing my evil scheme."

Fluttershy just raised a single eyebrow.

Discord hung his head. "Fine. I don't have an evil scheme. I don't get to have evil schemes. I don't want to have evil schemes anyway, so there." He sighed, then tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Ahah!" What he intended to do, nopony could tell, but Discord poofed away again.

Several seconds passed.

From inside the castle, the sound of wooden playing pieces and playing boards hitting a crystal floor could be heard.

Several more seconds passed while nothing was heard.

Then a window shattered as Discord burst out, his legs spinning like wheels as he tried to flee. With a playful "Meep meep!" he hit the ground and took off towards the horizon. Two blurs of orange and purple erupted from the window, snarling like timberwolves, and followed in hot pursuit.

"Well," Rarity said. She paused, at loss for words. "Well, I suppose that's one way to solve things."

TO BE CONTINUED! BWAHAHAHAH!

Pinkie Pie said, "Oh no."

Session 13.10 Alex Warlorn

Then the doors of Sugarcube Corner blared open... A blinding white light shining behind two Alicorn silhouettes, the only details visible was one with glowing teal eyes, the other with purple eyes. Two voices boomed together in the Royal Canterlot Voice.

"WHERE IS THE SCORE KEEPER?! YE SHALL RETURN HIM TO US!" Spike covered himself in a hoofball helmet and pillows from somewhere and hide behind Rarity.

Twilight! "What did you do to Discord?!" Fluttershy gasped.

"THE INTERLOPER HAS BEEN PUNISH! THE GAME MUST RESUME!" The two voices echoed.

Discord wandered in, smoking and sizzling. He was wearing square glasses, a slick back hair cut, and wearing a boy's school uniform that screamed 'NERD!' with a pocket protector. And he has braces. He coughed. "She's... gotten better... Been a while... since I faced two angry Alicorns at once... I think I'm out of practice. This is what happens when you don't let me do anything that inspires the Princesses to try and hurt me."

It was amazing the ponies' didn't laugh at Discord, both from not wanting to be on the bad side of the chaos god's misfortune this once, and distracted by the two goddesses of chess.

Spike was caught in the glow of Twilight's telekinesis, and dragged back to the Princesses... his claws leaving scratch marks in the floor as he tried to save himself. Rarity grabbed Spike with her magic... and for a moment seemed like she'd be able to hold him against the pull of a goddess, until Sunset Shimmer joined in and pulled Spike right towards him.

Then in a flash of light, they were gone again.

"Any other bright ideas?" Rainbow Dash crossed her arms annoyed.

"Well..." Pinkie Pie said. "Let's hope that they haven't gone so crazy that they're going to start kidnapping random ponies and creatures to serve as a LIFE SIZE Ogrechess game! But... Twilight's not that crazy... that would be like brainwashing half the town starting with the cutie mark crusaders to get some homework done on time. Right?"

The other ponies looked at each other in dread.

-

Sunset Shimmer's friends were beginning to worry. Sunset had SAID she was going to be only gone for a brief afternoon with princess Twilight Sparkle... but that had been over a week now. The girls' worry turned to dread as they wondered what happened.

"Evil overlord?" Rainbow Dash suggested.

"Maybe she got kidnapped!" Rarity gasped.

"What if the universe on the other side vanished and she's gone forever because people stopped believing in ponies?!" Fluttershy wondered in horror.

"Maybe she ran into some long lost relatives and doesn't want to leave them?" Applejack suggested.

"That's silly," Pinkie Pie said. "I mean, what kind of person who leave behind their friends, without so much as saying good-bye, just because they made new friends?"

Twilight sneezed, but she didn't let it effect her concentration.
-

"I wonder if they've crowned her princess there and won't let her leave?" Twilight didn't really believe it, and normally would never suggest random theories with no proof, but being part of a social group was new to her, and she wanted to, she HAD TO, contribute SOMETHING by virtue of just being there. Well, other than the undefeated chess club champ... which at a school like Crystal Prep, only meant you were the biggest enemy to other students with the same interests as you rather than being someone to share interests with.

Spike on the other paw said. "Tried that magic journal?"

"Doesn't work," AJ said. "Apparently if the portal is open, then the book doesn't work, don't ask me, I don't know this magic stuff."

"Well we sure know a freakin' lot more than most people," Rainbow Dash said. "I say it's about time we go in there and save her!"

"Ya mean go? Just like that?" Applejack asked.

"Why not? That's how most adventures go."

"And how they end BADLY darling! If we're going to where no woman has gone before, we have to be prepared first!" Rarity declared.

"Uh. Let's just keep waiting? I'm sure everything will work out," Fluttershy said.

"It would be the safer idea," Spike suggested, but a dog's opinions didn't matter that much sadly.

"Better than just sittin' here doin' nothin'," AJ said.

"Yes yes yes! On the other side of the mirror we go at last!" Pinkie Pie cheered.

Twilight Sparkle thought about it... it was scary... but... a chance to see a whole new world... WITHOUT destroying the universe? It was too tempting to pass up.

"First we should test things," Twilight suggested.

As fate would have it, neither Princess Twilight Sparkle, nor Sunset Shimmer, had thought to close nor block off the portal.

As it turned out, a camera with a cord attached to it, COULD pass through the portal, along with its feed... The girls were in AWE of the crystal library they saw. At least this confirmed that there was no monster waiting for them on the other side, and that the world on the other side hadn't been blown up.

Rarity had made sure that the girls were well packed and prepared for whatever might lay ahead... not that they had any clue what to expect besides what their 'scout' had shown them... but still ...

"Entry number one-" Twilight Sparkle began as she recorded everything for scientific study later, of course.

Into the brave unknown the teenagers went... and got know what taffy in the machine feels like.

And on the other side, first the girls found they couldn't keep their balance on two legs and fell forward, then they noticed.

"EEK! I'm naked!" Rarity gasped.

"OH MY! You're all naked!" Fluttershy covered her eyes.

"Will ya all get a grip, we're all girls here!" Applejack snorted.

"Easy for you to say, you still have your hat!"

"Wings 24-7?! YES!" Rainbow Dash flapped around.

"I'm a dragon? Cool," Spike said, inversely finding out that standing on two legs was actually a lot easier than standing on four now. "This two-legs thing feels weird."

"OH! OH MY!" Twilight blushed. She then crossed her eyes looking at her horn. "I wonder..." Her horn glowed. She looked at her tape recorder, which strangely hadn't vanished along with their clothes, and remembered how... how it felt to have magic... and... after some effort... her new instincts nudging her along, she managed to slowly lift it up. "I... I have magic," Twilight whispered.

"WOW! We're all ponies now!" Pinkie Pie cheered. "And we get pictures on our butts too!" What did you expect? These girls NOT to know their callings in life?

"OH DEAR!" Fluttershy covered it with her tail using it on pure instinct, as if the tattoo was more embarrassing than being naked.

"So," Pinkie Pie suggested blithely. "Do you think that now that we've been transformed into ponies, that now means we're brainwashed soulless spineless zombies who are better off dead who are programmed never to get angry and obey without question the evil queen?"

The girls stared at her. Applejack cough. "Pinkie Pie, where did ya get an idea THAT CREEPY yet THAT STUPID?"

"The internet."

"Of course."

"Oh my! What is this?!" Rarity said looking at her horn. "Where did this come from? I don't get this when I pony-up!"

"That's your horn, I think it's where your magic comes from as a pony," Twilight suggested.

"Really? I repeat my earlier statement then: odd I don't have one when I pony-up."

The girls sneaked through the big crystal castle... until the came to a large room where two Alicorns were staring down each other. Between them was a very large three layer chess board. And next to them was an exhausted looking identical Spike. It took a moment for the girls to recognize those colors, cutie marks, and those manes.

"Why does other me have wings?" Twilight wondered.

Spike spotted them first. "GIRLS! You're here! You got inside! Thank Celestia! Now let's... another Twilight?.... And... " He looked at the identical Spike before him, except not tired off his feet. And kept laying down on his claws. "Oh, you're me from the other side... let's hear it, bark-bark out of my mouth."

"Would you like me to sing too?"

"Wait-What? Did coming to this side make you smart?"

"Naw, magic accident back home."

"It involved your Twilight?"

"How'd ya know?!"

"Experience."

"Oh."

"So you're... you're Twilight's pet in this world too Spike?" Fluttershy asked.

"Pet nothing! We're family!"

"I don't see the resemblance," RD said.

"It's complicated! Look! Uh! It's great to see all of you again! And nice to see the universe isn't exploding from you all being here... but uh... we kinda have a situation."

"What's wrong with Sunset?" Fluttershy asked.

"And Twilight, I mean Princess Twilight!" Rarity said.

"This is gonna make the SECOND TIME I've explained this to you guys! Well not you-you but, you know what I mean!"

"Wait! You mean there's versions of us here too?!" Rainbow ironically put it together first. "I'm finally gonna meet someone as awesome as me!" Rainbow Dash said grinning.

"I thought we all already knew that," Pinkie Pie said looking at her friends in confusion.

Spike quickly began to explain (technically again) to the girls the situation, which was interrupted with "SNACKS!" "NOTES!" "SCORE!" More than once. The two Alicorns hadn't even noticed the seven strangers in the room, so consumed they were with the game.

"So... they're just stuck like this?" Applejack asked.

"Discord came in here, the less said about him the better, and trashed the board, but the girls just zapped him and made a new one! ... Don't ask where they got the pieces."

The visitors cringed.

The girls were all silent as Twilight and Sunset's pride would allow neither one to back down. At this point, it seemed more down to which one of them made a mistake first due to exhaustion.

"Have you consider slipping some sleeping pills into their coffee?" Spike suggested. "That's what I do when my Twilight tries staying up for a week."

"WHAT!" Twilight gasped.

"UH! ONLY JOKING!"

Twilight rubbed her tumbles. She'd never played chess with Sunset before... it had never come up... When she heard all the clubs Sunset had joined... Twilight had been wondering if she should have followed suit. To be fair, she understood her Twilight... her being undefeated in chess was one of my precious few marks of pride she had ... okay, there was also her flawless grades, a loving family, and now dear friends... but still, being unbeaten at chess and its countless variants was something she was proud of. Still... seeing it from the outside in was rather uncomfortable... she wondered if she was how Sunset Shimmer felt seeing Twilight become Nightmare Midnight.

She had to save them!

"EXCUSE ME!" She shouted. "I'M UNDEFEATED AT CHESS AND ALL ITS VARIANTS!"

The two Alicorns turned their heads as one and looked at her with ominous glow eyes that blacked out any other feature on their faces.

"DO YOU DARE TO CHALLENGE US?" They echoed.

It was a true sign that Twilight had grown a spine since she didn't wet herself or run away screaming.

Rarity however fainted. "Where did this couch come from?"

-

"For the record," Starlight said, the girls having come to her, begrudgingly thinking her cutie mark spell might be the best way to handle this. "I prefer checkers and chinighes checkers, to chess, I mean, there the pieces are all equal. There's no all important piece better than than the other pieces."

That was when the ground shook.

The earth shook... some ponies wondered if it was an earthquake. The mane six plus Starlight Glimmer rushed outside... (Starlight had been staying with Fluttershy since the castle had been closed off, where Starlight had been staying in Ponyville... then tried Pinkie Pie and finally Rarity as the chaos from Discord and then Pinkie were close to driving her batty).

Trixie... by chance... was also there... upset because she believed Twilight had banned her from the castle for no apparent reason when she found the barrier in place when she'd shown up for their alien teenagers game.

The castle exploded in a mass of white light... and the doors slowly opened... and two alicorns with their eyes doing the Derpy stumbled out...

"The chess board... blew up on its own..." Native Spike said in awe...

Vistor Twilight blushed... even if she was covered in ash... she didn't expect a three way magic chess match to do that ...

Session 13.11 Mooncalf99

"Sooo..." Rainbow Dash began.

It was some time after the whole 'chess showdown' debacle, and things had finally calmed down. The destroyed chessboards and other debris had been cleared away, and Spike had made a spirited attempt to scrub away the bigger soot stains. The girls from CHS (and the other Spike) had taken their dazed friends back to their world, but promised to come visit at another, less disastrous occasion.

"Sooo..." Rainbow Dash began again. "Any chance we're gonna play anything tonight?"

"Ugh," Twilight groaned. She was currently reclining on her bed with a blanket over her face. "Uuugh. Sorry... I don't think... I..."

"It's okay, Twilight," Fluttershy said. "You don't have to do anything if you're too tired. You've worn yourself out really badly this week, after all."

"Yes, but... still, I don't want to let you down. But..." The young alicorn groaned again.

"It's cool, it's cool," Rainbow said. "Gilda and Trixie weren't too happy, though. They come a long way to be part of this."

"Great, now Trixie's going to be mad at me too," Twilight groaned. "Is she here?"

"No, she left," Pinkie Pie said. "She said... uh... that she didn't want to get in the way and that she'll be in touch later."

Meanwhile, in a wagon on the outskirts of Ponyville...

"Yeah, Trixie's not going to be around when those crazies blow up." The magician unwrapped a deck of cards and began shuffling them. "We'll just wait it out until the all-clear signal."

"Who the flying feather gets worked up over chess, anyway?" Gilda said. "Soo boring. Now poker, that's a game for thinkers."

Limestone Pie slammed her hoof on the table. "Will you stop shuffling all the time and deal already?!" she yelled, in a tone that with a different pony might have been intended to convey unyielding rage.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go chew granite, Lime." Trixie cut the deck and started dealing. "The game's five card stud, Las Pegasus rules, two bits ante, fifty bits betting limit. You in, Stoneface?"

Gilda turned to their fourth player, whom she hadn't paid much attention to earlier... and felt a chill run down her spine. This one's going to be a challenge...

'Stoneface' put her two bits on the table. "I'm in," Maud Pie said.

"I feel like I'm missing out on something," Pinkie said, perplexed. Then she shrugged. "Oh well!"

"Maybe we should let you rest, dear," Rarity said, giving Twilight a gentle pat on the shoulder. "We'll get back together in a few days, okay?"

"No!" Twilight cried. "I mean... I want to spend time with you all. I'm just too tired to set up something.

"We could just watch a movie?" Starlight suggested.

"Actually, ah got somethin' ah've wanted to try," Applejack said. "Somethin' ah picked up at PonyCon."

"You go to PonyCon?" Rainbow asked in utter disbelief. "You?!"

"What?" Applejack protested. "Ah was visitin' mah relatives, an' I throught ah'd drop in ta pick up some comics fer Spike's birthday--" She facehoofed. "Spike, forget ya heard that."

"Sure thing!" Spike said happily, suddenly anticipating his birthday a great deal more.

"Anyway, ah sat in with a bunch what needed a sixth player," she continued. "Afterwards, they wanted ta play this game they had made up an' I went along with it. They said ah could run it with y'all if ah wanted to."

"So... it's not just about farming and apples?" Rainbow Dash ventured.

Applejack gave her old friend a scathing glare. "Ah'm more than that, thankyaverymuch. Is flyin' the only thing you think about?"

Rainbow considered. "Yes, pretty much." She stuck out her tongue playfully.

"Nevermind the neighsayer," Rarity chided. "Do you think this is something Twilight can handle?"

"It's freeform, an' pretty psychological," Applejack said. "She'll be fine. Only problem is, it's limited ta six players, GM included. And, well..."

"I'm fine with just sitting in and watching," Starlight said.

"Me too," Spike said. "I'll go get some snacks." He got up and left.

"Applejack?" Twilight asked. "When you say it's 'psychological', what do you mean?"

"Meanin' we're gonna get inta yer noggin, sugarcube," Applejack said with a grin. "Okay, everypony find a seat an' ah'll explain."

After a few seconds, everypony had seated themselves around Twilight's bed, while she herself opted to stay lying down. "Here's the deal. Yer gonna go on a bit o' everyday adventure, sugarcube. Maybe it's jus' an average day, maybe somethin' out o' the ordinary happens. Maybe it'll go off the rails an' ya go to Manehattan ta fight vamponies. Who knows. Ah'm the game master, gonna narrarate what's happenin'. Got the gist of it?"

"Got it," Twilight said. "Fairly straightforward."

Applejack laughed. "Ya wish. Yer not the only pony in yer head. Ya got this bunch ta 'help'," she made air quotes with her hooves, "on yer adventure."

"Oookay?" Twilight said dubiously.

"Twilight, yer the Self, the one who's you. But ya can't form decisions on yer own, so ya listen ta the other parts o' yer mind." Applejack turned to Rarity. "Rarity, yer the Superego. You wanna be idealistic an' always do the right thing. Yer pure an' good an' proper. An' that's the path ya want Twilight ta walk."

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were flirting with me," Rarity said with a smirk.

"Rainbow Dash," Applejack continued, turning to the brash flier. "Yer the Id, an' yer her opposite. Yer the base urges an' the immediate needs. Ya wanna have fun an' ya wanna have it now. You don't think about the future 'cuz the present's the only thing that matters. Far as yer concerned, nothin' else matters compared ta gettin' Twilight's personal an' immediate needs an' wants satisfied."

"It's the role I was meant to play," Rainbow Dash said with a sharp salute.

"Fluttershy!" Applejack barked, making the timid girl jump a little. "The voice o' reason, rationality an' sense. Ya go wit' whatever seems sensible at the time, nevermind all that emotional attachment an' other garbage boggin' down the decision-makin'. Mind ya, that don't mean sidin' with Rares all the time, 'cuz that whole 'doin' the right thing' business doesn't always sound the most sensible, an' oftentimes the simple urges have a point, you get what ah'm sayin'?"

"I think I understand, yes," Fluttershy said hesitantly. "Although I think the role is better suited to Twilight?"

"I'm too tired to be rational," Twilight said happily. "I'll play the brainless pony today, thanks."

"An' lastly, Pinkie Pie." Applejack smiled at the sixth player, who was giddy with anticipation. "Yer the emotions. You go with the feelings. Whatever mood Twilight should be in, ya wanna act on that. Go with yer heart."

"Woooooooo!" Pinkie crooned, bouncing on her seat. "So cool!"

Spike chose this moment to wander into the room, arms laden with popcorn and drinks. "Okay, what did I miss?"

"Applejack explained their roles," Starlight said. "Long story short, they're little voices in Twilight's head and get to steer her around."

Spike blinked and set down the snacks among the group. "This I gotta see."

"That's pretty much it, everypony," Applejack said. "Twi, you can't make any independent action yerself. Ya have ta go along wit' their instructions. An' if they conflict... well, ya try yer best ta cover them all, or go wit' whichever makes the most convincin' arguments at the moment. Or however ya find yerself persuaded. Got it?" She grinned. "Alright. Our day begins in Ponyville..."

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Session 13.0 Kendell2 (OOC Should go without saying, this is One Piece based.)
Session 13.1 Kichi
Session 13.2 Mooncalf99
Session 13.3 Mtangalion
Session 13.4 Alex Warlorn (This is just something I had to get off my chest. Sorry.)
Session 13.5 Zaku and Alex Warlorn
Session 13.6 SomeRandomMinion Ardashir Alex Warlorn
Session 13.7 Mooncalf99 (Author's note: Watch "Simple Ways", specifically the parts inside the Carousel Boutique. Then look at how big the Boutique is on the outside. Hmm?)
Session 13.8 BrutalityInc (For reference, Dragonchess by Gary Gygax)
Session 13.9 Mooncalf99
Session 13.10 Alex Warlorn (For the record? I prefer the idea of Glimmer still having her equalist attitude, just no longer locking people in brainwashing huts about.)
Session 13.11 Mooncalf99 (Author's note: Yes, this game was actually introduced to me by some people I met at a 'Con, many years ago, and it's as flipped-out as it sounds. No, it's not based on "Inside Out", in part due to having the emotions relegated to only one bit player but mostly due to predating the movie by a decade. They both have their inspiration in Jungian psychology, though.
I leave it as a challenge for someone else to write the adventure they will have. Go nuts with it.)
Session 13.12 Kendell2

Cover art by Jittery-the-Dragon

Session 14

Session 14.0 Kendell2

"Pardon, but WHAT did this rattlesnake do again?" Applejack asked, the group presently on the final portion of the East Blue section of the pirate manega RPG. Applejack and Pinkie had both originally wanted to be the crew's cook, but there could be only one. So Pinkie decided to be the crew musician and Applejack the cook. Applejack was informed cooks in this universe generally take not using their front hooves in combat (so as not to risk damaging them), something she was quite fine with given her apple bucking nature. Pinkie had chosen to make her weapon of choice a base violin reinforced to serve as a melee weapon. The nature of the game didn't argue with that.

"He called the marines to confiscate her money when she was almost at her goal to buy the town from him and free it from his tyranny," Twilight explained.

"I've seen the Manega and that STILL makes me mad," Rainbow stated, being the ship's swordsman. Being she'd actually SEEN the manega, she knew a lot of things to use. And that challenging and making yourself the Worthy Opponent of the world's strongest swordsman when he showed up would be a benefit in the long run (even if she also knew full well that'd be a Hopeless Boss Fight and meant she was still injured for this part). "Jerk deserved getting super ax kicked all the way through his base..."

"My character tells the villain," Rarity said, having had the strange desire to be a Mermaid...then finding out those didn't have legs until a certain age and generally weren't pirates, chose to be a Koi Fishpony (despite nearly all Fishponies appearing in canon being male, the creator HAD confirmed females existed and merfolk also had males, the races merely being very similar to one another), which being Rarity she managed to make quite beautiful. "That while she plans to let the ponies on the crew shut his sharktoothed jaw, she considers him a disgrace to Fishponies and part of the problem with the racism towards our kind, so she will gladly help kick his tailfin...and also his tropical shirt is tacky!"

"He can't comprehend why you'd choose to side with the 'inferior species," Twilight replied. "But your actions DO seem to get him a bit angry."

"Um...I tell him he's a big dumb meanie and I won't stand for this!" Fluttershy said. "Um...if you don't mind..."

She was the team doctor, and had gotten the lucky roll to be a Fruit user. In her case, a Zoan based off a rabbit was her choice. Being an animal expert came very much in handy for that and knowing what Rabbits can really do. The game allowed them to make up Devil Fruit so long as they made sure to balance them properly.

This was when the group noticed Starlight looking VERY clopped off. Starlight hadn't WANTED to be Captain (so it'd ended up going to Trixie, who everypony agreed could do hotblooded hero the best), but decided 'Archaeologist' would be the best fit for her, given her knowledge ability. She hadn't wanted a fruit ability, so Trixie got the last one (only two were allowed to start) and Starlight was a 'badflank normal'.

"So, this guy thinks that he's INHERENTLY better than others...and uses that as an excuse to lord over them like a king...and views even the one he RESPECTED as nothing more than a PET?!" Starlight said. "We're kicking his flank! I don't care what the captain says, we are KICKING HIS FLANK!"

"Oh, right, Starlight hates people acting like they're inherently better than others..." Twilight muttered. "Trixie?"

Trixie tilted her hat and gave a smirk. She'd decided that if she got a Devil Fruit, it was going to be big and loud. While the Logias (the Elemental embodiment type) weren't available in the early stages, she had been able to figure out a way to get a Show Magic based one, which she knew VERY well how to use. "Trixie says we kick his flanks and show him what 'mere ponies can do, shall we?"

Session 14.1 Mooncalf99 (with edits)

"Princess Twilight Sparkle!"

Twilight paused in midstep and turned her head, smiling as she saw Princess Luna approach. She didn't actually see Luna that much during her Canterlot visits due to the latter being asleep or busy with her own royal duties, many of which were radically different from Celestia's. So it was a welcome pleasure to have a chance to talk. "Princess Luna! How are you?"

"We... I mean, I am just fine, good Twilight," Luna said. "However, I wish to have words regarding a most bemusing incident."

"Okay?" Twilight asked in anticipation.

"I spoke earlier with Discord regarding a most jocular soundbite dear Pipsqueak sent me," Luna said. "He was less than amused and his retort was for most part not fit for polite conversation. But he did say something curious. He referred to me as 'Agent L', and when I asked for an explanation, he said that you would know. May you please enlighten me regarding this appellation?"

"Oh... that." Twilight sighed. "It's from one of my campaigns, the one where a bunch of teenaged aliens come to Equestria to study and learn about friendship."

"And get into crazy hijinks, yes," Luna said. "I believe I've heard of this game. And your friends have been having the most whimsical dreams as a result."

"Really?" Twilight asked. "I guess I could see that happening... anyway, I needed a secret government organization who could aid or oppose the players depending on my whim, and Spike and I came up with 'The Mares in Black'. Then Spike suggested that you should run the operation, since you're, in his words, 'the original Mare in Black', and it was more interesting than using a made-up NPC. Sorry, I've been meaning to tell you--"

"Sorry? For what?" Luna asked in amused surprise. "I am deeply flattered that you would find me so intriguing as to give me a minor role. You have my blessing to play the role as you see fit." A thought struck her. "Is my sister fulfilling a role as well?"

"No... I haven't needed her for one yet. Although I guess it would be nice to make something up..." Twilight mused.

"Mayhap she's running the school for aliens and ponies, as a diplomatic endeavor," Luna suggested. "And because her plans may go against my and my organization's plans, we're occasionally struggling and working at cross-purposes behind the scenes, with your players caught in the crossfire?"

Twilight's eyes widened. "That's brilliant! Oh, that's a great idea, I could... and then... I need to write this down. Notebook, where's my notebook?" Luna stifled a laugh as Twilight ran off in search of writing material, completely forgetting the conversation they were having.

Luna looked around herself furtively, then trotted up to a pegasus maid busily dusting a decorative urn. "Fair Feather Duster, we would speak with thee."

Feather Duster stopped what she was doing and turned, giving her princess a dutiful curtsey. "Your Highness. What may I do for you?"

Luna's horn glowed briefly, and she nodded with satisfaction. "It was a false alarm, F. Just a coincidence. The organization has not been compromised. We are not in danger."

"Thank goodness," Feather Duster said. "I'll inform Central Command immediately, have them release the lockdown and call off the safety procedures. Good work, L. It was a close one."

Luna nodded. "It's always a close one around here, F."

OOC: "The preceding scene may or may not be 100% canon. We leave it as an exercise to the reader to decide."

Session 14.2 BrutalityInc

“Err… Shiny, you know that this is a superheroes roleplaying game, right?” Twilight asked Shining cautiously.

“Well, yeah, of course I know that.” Shining Armor answered, confused.

“Well, please don’t take it the wrong way, but it’s just that I can’t help but noticed your character is so… underpowered?” Twilight questioned.

“Well, I wouldn’t call it ‘underpowered’…” Shining Armor said, “He’s a unicorn who was a member of the Special Forces in the Army, is trained in various forms of close-quarter combat, is an expert marks-stallion versatile in all varieties of military weapons, is an able strategist, and is a decorated combat veteran with three tours of duty and many medals. He only became the masked vigilante Blue Guard and begin a war on crime, whether normal or supernormal, after he lost his wife and children, when they were sent through a one-way magical portal into unknown parallel universe along with many others as collateral of a fight between an evil sorcerer and another group of superheroes.”

“Yes, we know that, darling, but what I think Twilight mean is, other than these attributes and backstory, your character is, for all intents and purposes, an ordinary pony. Armed with some special equipment and weapons, maybe, but otherwise completely ordinary." Rarity noted, vouching for Twilight, “Whereas everypony else’s characters are meta-equine ponies with all kinds of superpowers and enhancements.”

“Oh, I see where you are going there.” Shining Armor realized, “Well, I wanted to stand out and give myself an extra challenge. You think that my character might not be able to keep up with the others?”

“Well, yeah! I mean, your guy can probably take on the likes of Phony Pharaoh from the Power Ponies comic, but how well do you think that Blue Guard would had held up if he ever faced the likes of Mane-iac? If Maretropolis’ entire police force couldn’t stop her, how could one ordinary pony without superpowers?”

“Well, it’s not as if heroes with superpowers can prevail in every single situation; the only reason why the Wonderful Five, for all their powers, has EVER been able to stop the world-consuming Galactose from draining Equus of its energy was because they cheated.” Trixie noted, “Like by stealing the Ultimate Obliterator and threatening to use it on him, or fighting him when he was severely weakened by another supervillain or malicious cosmic power. It’s all fun and good when superheroes prevail against overwhelming odds, but any reasonable comic fan would concede that if Spider-Mare fought a giant ancient nigh-omnipotent space-god like Galactose head-on, Spider-Mare will be swatted like a bug, every single time.”

“In any case, don’t worry about it.” Shining Armor, “There are ways I can make Blue Guard pull his weight in the team.”

= = =

Dice rolled, and Spike saw the results. “8. Lightning Mare’s thunderbolt attack hits Doctor Mekadecapod’s Giant Crab Robot dead-on, but his robot is has level 2 energy attack resistance, which subtracts 4 points from your dice roll.”

“Aw, nuts!” Rainbow Dash groaned.

“‘Haha, you fools!’ Cackled Doctor Mekadecapod, ‘Any evil mad scientist worth their salt knows to harden their machinery against any forms of electromagnetic disturbances, let alone all your feeble superpowers!’. He pilots his Giant Crab Robot’s claws to try and cleave you all in two!”

“Cornsarnit! That robot tanked everything we threw at him!” Applejack grumbled, “How are we suppose tah stop that thing from leveling the city?”

“Question!” Shining Armor suddenly asked, “Is the mad doctor piloting his mecha from the inside, or does his pilot seat have a glass canopy?”

There was a momentary pause at the table as the other ponies digested the question.

“Wait, how does that - ?” Rainbow began to ask, but was interrupted by Spike’s response.

“To my knowledge, no; his crab robot doesn’t have a canopy, and nowhere does it says that he’s piloting from INSIDE the mech.” Spike said as he read through the adventure module guide, “The book only said that he’s piloting a giant crab robot, but doesn’t go into specifics on how it looks like, how it works or how it is piloted. I guess… you can assume he’s piloting from an open-air seat on top surrounded by reinforced display panels?

“Right then.” Shining Armor cracked his neck, before declaring, “Blue Guard goes up a few floors of an evacuated building, throws a tear-gas canister into the cockpit, and then jumps in wearing his gasmask and knock him out with a choke-hold.”

“What do you do?!” Rainbow Dash said, gobsmacked at the sheer audacity of Shining’s play.

“Besides being very expedient, you mean?” Trixie said, smirking with amusement at Shining’s direction. “I must admit I am impressed, sir. That is pretty clever!”

“It only works because he wasn’t protected. If he was, the next best thing I could think of is wiring the building to blow and collapse right on top of it.” Shining commented with a shrug, “Then again, I’m not surprised he wasn’t; in the comics, you always see superheroes fighting villains in giant robots in epic multi-issue battles, and nine times out of ten, the villains are shown to be operating in an open or exposed cockpit. I know they want to show the villains expressions or something like that, but has it ever occurred to the writers that villains control their robots from the top, with only glass or even nothing at all covering their exposed pilot seat, is a VERY BAD IDEA? Nor has it ever occur to the superheroes that all they had to do to disable giant robots quickly is to hit them at their very exposed villain pilot from the start?”

“Yes, but where’s the fun in that if there’s no epic battle against a giant robot?” Rainbow Dash admonished.

"But it'll save the cities a lot of collateral damage!"

“Need I remind you that you haven’t rolled your dice yet?” Spike the GM interjected.

“Sorry…” Shining Armor said as he rolled his dice, “So, roll for dexterity and skill check? I think my ‘Athletic Prowess’, ‘Martial Arts Skills and ‘Specialist Training’ perks and multiplier traits are more than enough to carry me through…”

Indeed it was. Needless to say, Doctor Mekadecapod was neutralized and the day was saved.

Session 14.3 MtangaLion

"Wait... wait, wait," said Rainbow Dash. "You're living in a cave?" She, Twilight Sparkle, and Windy Whisper were sitting around the gaming table in one of Twilight's second floor study lounges. Crystal lamps lit the room with a cool, soft glow. It was just after sunset, late for Rainbow and Twilight, while Windy was up early.

"Um... yes?" Windy spread her bat wings, twitching them for emphasis.

Rainbow seemed doubtful. "But what about all that stuff you said, about stereotypes?"

Windy shrugged. "Thestrals like caves. They're dark in the daytime and far away from noisy sun-loving ponies. Where do *you* live, Dash?"

"In a cloud... ohhh." Dash grinned. "That makes sense."

"How does that make sense?" Twilight objected. "That's like unicorns preferring to live on mountains. Just pointless leftover instincts... we're not living in the time of the three tribes any more."

Rainbow scratched her mane with a hoof. "So, where do Alicorns instinctively want to live?"

Princess Luna made her way into the study. "In royal castles, it would seem, but as Twilight would say, the sample size is regrettably low. Hail and welcome, friends! I apologize for my lateness."

"Not a problem," said Twilight brightly. "You know Rainbow Dash, of course, and this is..."

"Young Windy Whisper," interrupted Luna, with unexpected warmth. "We are pleased to find you well and settling into your new home, and we have high hopes for your future endeavors, whether they be in the vein of the old..." She winked. "Or entirely new. Now, shall we begin?"

Luna lit her horn and conjured three gaming boards with full sets of pieces, setting each one between Twilight and another player. "I shall play black. Your move, Twilight."

Twilight moved her first piece at once. "Heh, as expected!"

Windy rubbed her eyes and looked again. "Ogrechess, huh? That really takes me back. Wait, we're all going to play against... her?"

Twilight blushed a bit. "Yep."

She hesitated, then made an opening move of her own. "Is this safe? I heard..."

"I'm fine!" snapped Twilight, a little too quickly. Her horn was lit... she was continuing her game against Luna with only the briefest of glances at that board. "I will be fine... This is therapy for me. I'm supposed to get it all out my system..." Twilight leaned across the table, lowering her voice. "They think that if I play everypony in town, somepony will eventually turn up who can beat me, but the odds of that are infinitesimal. Hah!"

Rainbow blinked, still processing something. "Windy... You *do* know Princess Luna personally!"

"Yes, but you shouldn't have just assumed!" Windy turned her nose up.

Rainbow jabbed a hoof towards her. "Future endeavors, huh? Just you wait. I'm gonna find out what your cutie mark is for, and when I do..."

"I'm a writer."

Rainbow's jaw hit the table. "Bwuh... you can't just... Ugh! So, what kinda stuff do you write?"

Windy appeared to think it over. "Nope. You have to level your Windy Whisper reputation from Acquaintance to Good Friend before you can be trusted with that information."

"You," growled Rainbow, "are such a troll." She slammed her hoof down next to her game board. "Okay, Twilight... Your game with me is SPEED Ogrechess. Hope you can keep up!"

Rainbow moved a piece, and Twilight moved another, and they started going back and forth, pieces clicking in rapid succession. Twilight kept playing against Luna and Windy too, not missing a beat, but her eyebrows kept rising. "Dash, are you even thinking about your moves?" It dawned on her that Rainbow wasn't sitting in her chair... the pegasus was hovering a few inches above it, beating her wings slowly.

Click, click... click, click... "You're the Ogrechess master," said Rainbow slyly. She drifted over and nudged Twilight's side, crooning right into her ear. "You tell me, Princess..."

"You're taking advantage of your superior aerial awareness, aren't you!?" said Twilight, getting all flustered. "And now you're trying to distract me by getting all flirty!"

"Huh? Oh... yeah! That's it. Totally..." Rainbow waved a hoof lazily. "You win, next game." Twilight obligingly levitated every piece back to its starting spot all at once, and they were off and running again, while Windy was still puzzling her way through the opening moves of her own game.

And then Luna set a Diamond Dog piece down with authority. "Checkmate, Twilight. Twas an excellent game."

Twilight froze, hair twitching out of place. "What."

"You played with commendable skill for being so distracted. Perhaps I might even challenge you to a private game later."

Twilight lunged, staring at Luna's board. "What."

Far across town, Applejack was hauling a full wagon loaded with apples back to the barn. Twilight's Friendship Castle loomed on the horizon.

"WHAT!!!!?????"

The hurricane force gust blew AJ's hat clean off. "Sounds like the therapy ain't goin' so well."

"Eeeyup," said Granny Smith, rocking on the porch.

Session 14.4 Ardashir

"Fluttershy, I mean 'Crescent Moon'," Twilight looked at Fluttershy's character art of a Saddle Arabian mare covered mane to hoof in barding, "do you really need to add more defense to your power armor?"

"You're right." Fluttershy nodded. "I'd better add that stun ray, I don't want to hurt anypony after all."

Raimbow Dash groaned beside her.

"Geeze, Fluttershy, we're fighting Hive Queen! Remember? The Chrysalis rip-off -- I mean, the power-hungry unicorn mare who got infected with those alien spores and now can turn ponies into mindslaves in her hive? And the BIGGER her 'swarm' gets, the more powerful SHE gets?"

"You're quite right," Fluttershy checked the 'Superpowers Database' book."I'd better make that a stun ray and those glue bombs so I can stop those poor mind-controlled ponies without hurting any of them."

Rainbow Dash groaned and face hoofed.

Session 14.5 Alex Warlorn

"An adventure based on Last Fantasy First?" Spike asked. "This outta be good. I think we even still have the old machine and cartridge buried at Mr. and Mrs. Sparkles' house somewhere."

"Yes." Princess Twilight smiled and nodded behind the DM screen. Then thought to herself. 'Before every game in the series climaxed with you killing a shoddily done parody of Celestia.'

Rainbow Dash shrugged. "I've played video games, but those computer RPGs were always a snore for me, all those stats to keep track off, and ALL-THAT-GRINDING, just to level up or find that one item that drops one-in-a-hundred-thousand! I've got a LIFE outside of games."

"Ah didn't have the time to waste," Applejack said.

"Mom and dad didn't believe in them," Pinkie Pie said.

"I couldn't enjoy how you had to kill everything that moved," Fluttershy admitted.

"I never actually got very far in it." Rarity said.

"WHAT?! YOU played video games?" Rainbow gasped.

"It's just distraction dear. I didn't play to win really, I just found the action of 'grinding' to be a nice distraction at times. Helps clear the mind."

Starlight Glimmer smiled and nodded. "I actually beat Last Fantasy First quite a few times. First with a party completely of Warriors, then one completely of White Mages, then one completely of Ninjas, then one completely of Monks, and then-"

Rainbow Dash let out a cry of frustration. "I get it already! Does everything have to be the same with you?"

".... It's just how I like things. If I'm not forcing my beliefs on others, don't I have a right to express them?"

"I LIVE to be a Wonderbolt! But even I don't bring them up in, EVERY SINGLE CONVERSATION! It's always 'equality this' and 'equality that'!" Rainbow snapped, running her hooves against her head like she had a migraine.

"Discord is 'chaos this' and 'chaos that' and you don't complain about him!" Glimmer defended.

"At least Discord is FUNNY!" Rainbow Dash exasperated.

Tears welled up in Glimmer's eyes, and she ran away crying.

The others looked at Rainbow. "Uh, oops?"

"Rainbow dear, do you remember those lesson about tact?" Rarity said, her voice oozing with politeness.

"Uh, maybe she's Chrysalis in disguise and she's turning you all against me in a elaborate plot to conquer Equestria?" Rainbow Dash suggested sheepishly.

"I'll make sure she's alright," Twilight sighed, leaving the others with Rainbow Dash.

Twilight found Starlight Glimmer in her room, Twilight had given it to Glimmer when Twilight'd chosen to take on Glimmer as her own student (Twilight didn't bring it up at any game Trixie was a part of after the death glares from Trixie got to be too much).

Starlight Glimmer was underneath her bed sheets, her horn glowing.

"I declare this to be New Our Town, where nopony's feelings are ever hurt, where nopony is better than anypony else," said a glum voice underneath. "Population, me."

"...Do I need to give up my cutie mark to join?"

"No. But we're not accepting new residents at this time." Glimmer said under the blanket.

Twilight sat down in front of the bed.

"Glimmer... how about we play a little role playing game, no dice, just our imaginations... "

"..."

"... Well. A unicorn walks into New Our Town, what does she see?"

"... She sees a ghost town, nearly all the houses are empty, wind blows dust over everything. Signs flap in the wind. Houses are boarded up. Others look like they've been smashed open and hollowed out."

"... Well, you said 'nearly' all the houses are empty... is the house at the very occupied?"

"You don't know. It looks as decayed as the others. You see a sign on the edge of the town reading 'Welcome to New Our Town' below it is a message that read 'Ponies Who Believe In Equality' it has a good sized, happy number that's crossed out, and has a '1' instead."

Twilight's eyes widened, and realization hit her. One that should have hit her a lot sooner. "... You weren't just angry at having your perfect world destroyed... you... You felt abandoned by ... " Her eyes widened more. "By your friends."

"... I thought we all believed in equality, I thought we all believed in a world where nopony was better than anypony else... but the moment their belief was tested... every... " Glimmer was sobbing. "EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM LEFT ME! All that time together meant nothing! All we'd done together meant nothing! We meant nothing!"

Twilight decided mentioning that Glimmer had tried to vaporize her friends after they'd told that she'd never given them a chance to see if they could be friends WITH their cutie marks, was NOT a good idea.

"I remember... when Discord did the same to me... he turned my friends into strangers I didn't even recognize... he broke me... he broke my beliefs... I ... I hated him."

"... My home DIED that day... everything that... heh-heh... AHHAHAHAHAHHH!" Starlight gave a slightly demented laugh. "Everything that made it -special- to me was destroyed! Everything familiar about it was gone! I didn't even recognize my own town when you took me back there! It-it, hehehe!" Her laughs were not joyous ones. "It became just like any other town!"

Twilight cringed as Starlight wrapped herself up tighter in the blanket.

"Starlight... it's the ponies' that live in a town that make it special... Cloudsdale isn't the same as Ponyville... Ponyville isn't the same as Dodge Junction."

"Everything that made it my home disappeared... you know... I was looking forward to the day that everypony in Equestria gave up their cutie mark. And I could finally remove mine for real! I could finally be free of it!"

"But... but when the others told you that you had to logically give up yours-"

"If I had a way to remove cutie marks without it, I would have. They... they couldn't see... You..." Starlight's voice quivered with shock. "You all thought I just wanted everypony to give up their cutie mark so I could lord over them with mine!?" Now Starlight sounded genuinely angry.

"..." Twilight nodded sadly. "Rainbow Dash and Applejack did... " Twilight thought of mentioning how Fluttershy hadn't thought that, but while it had been to save her friends, Twilight knew that Glimmer still had trust issues with Fluttershy... after all, if she was willing to lie to her and betray her for the sake of her friends once... why not again? "But not all of us... after I told everypony what happened... I'll admit, some of them were shocked to learn you really did believe what you were saying . . . " Another realization hit Twilight. "After we got home... we... we did act out ourselves a little... over the top for a while... I think we were scared that we'd permanently lost part of ourselves."

"... I guess that's one way Discord and I are both idiots... Maybe if I showed the misery a bunch of insanely individualistic ponies could cause... maybe ponies would have been more open to listening. Maybe if Discord showed off my town, he'd have ponies wanting his chaos."

"... Discord was never interested in ponies' wanting to 'embrace' his chaos. He didn't CARE how he hurt ponies... in fact, often ponies getting hurt and him laughing about it was the point . . . " Twilight circled back to her previous point. "You've... you've been SCARED haven't you? You're afraid that you're going to become a stranger, that you're going to turn into a pony that isn't even you anymore."

"... that's why you fought so hard against me in Our Town?"

"Yes."

"Then you know why I've been so intense too... what happens when..." She gave a sad broken laugh again. "What happens when somepony with enough authority says that for the good of the community, what I believe in has to 'step aside?' And I just smile and nod in response?" She shivered. Princess Twilight KNEW the irony was NOT lost on Glimmer.

Twilight hugged her through the blanket.

Session 14.6 Kendell2

"...Rainbow Dash didn't mean it, you know?"

"..."

Twilight didn't break her hug. "...After Discord...I snapped when I was almost late for one of my friendship lessons...I think part of it was I was, wrongly mind you, terrified of losing my friends if I got sent to magic kindergarden..."

Twilight looked back towards the game room. "...I think hearing you always talking about equality reminds Rainbow of having her Cutie Mark taken away and put in that brainwashing hut...I know you don't MEAN to remind her of that..."

"...So what, I should just not talk about what I believe in?"

"...No...Not at all...But you should be considerate of the fact Rainbow Dash might have scars that haven't healed yet...part of being a friend is realizing when a friend is hurt and it would be hitting a nerve."

Starlight uncovered her head and looked down. "...Twilight...I really DID think I was doing the right thing..."

"...I know..."

"...So what CAN I do? I know what I CAN'T but...what can I do?"

Twilight put a hoof to her chin. She thought back to her conflict with Starlight in the past. "...Equality isn't bad...No more than medicine is bad because leeches turned out to be faulty...But I think you need to treat something OTHER than Cutie Marks...They're a scapegoat. It's what you took that anger OUT on...that's not healthy..."

"...Like what?"

"...Did you need to tell the sports colts to give up their Cutie Marks to get them to stop bullying Fluttershy?"

"That resulted in a horrible future where the Changelings won."

Twilight sighed. "No, the fact you changed the PAST resulted in that. Do I need to pull out Starswirl's book on WHY time spells are dangerous again?...My point is, you told them the fact you feel more special than someone else and use it as a reason to hurt others is wrong. That you shouldn't act that way...that wasn't wrong...That isn't 'take away what makes someone special'...It's teaching them not to act entitled and high and mighty. Teaching them humility."

"...So...if I help teach ponies to be more humble...I'd be spreading equality?"

"I think...acceptance is a better word..." Twilight gave a thoughtful look. "...Like for example...when other ponies saw Fluttershy was struggling to fly, they made fun of her...but Rainbow never did...She never treated Gilda different for being a Griffin. And she stood up for them both...Do what you did with those two: teach ponies to stop using differences as an excuse to be cruel...to try and threat everypony like they're equal to them...because they are."

Starlight fully emerged from her blanket...and laughed. "...I...I think I need to learn how to do that first before I'm ready to preach it...I haven't got the best track record..."

"And I'll help you...that's what friends are for, aren't they?"

"...Yes...Twilight...can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"...Do you think...it's my fault Sunburst never came back?"

Twilight blinked, cocking her head. "Why do you ask that?"

"...Because I never joined the celebration...I just stayed in my house, sulking...After...after realizing I was wrong...I can't help thinking that...All these years I blamed his Cutie Mark...if it wasn't his Cutie Mark...was it me?"

"...Starlight, I think it's more complicated than that...I'm not in a good position to answer that, I don't know enough...but I know one thing...if you think you made a mistake, the best thing to do is to learn from it."

"...Ponies have called me insane for doing all this over losing one friend..."

"...And what do you think?"

"...I just don't know..."

Twilight hugged her again. "...I don't think you are...I think you're hurt...damaged...but not beyond repair...and I'll gladly help you."

"...You're really willing to help anyone, aren't you?" Starlight asked.

"Fluttershy redeemed Discord, kind of a high threshold, isn't it?"

Starlight laughed...and a few tears fell. "...I guess it does...I hope I can be like that some day...it feels pretty...equal..."

Session 14.7 BrutalityInc

“‘You’re too late!’, gloated Doom-Maiden, as she struggled in her bonds, ‘You may have defeated me and my minions, but you won’t be able to stop the firing of my Doom-Ray Cannon at your precious city!’” Spike announced. "Just so you girls know, your superheroes have to stop the Doom-Ray from destroying the city in one turn!"

“Oh Celestia! She’s right!” Twilight realized with horror, “We fried the controls during our fight against her, and the cannon is too large to be destroyed in one turn! We can’t shut it down!"

"What about the generators and capacitors, darlings?" Rarity suggested.

"Even if we didn't block the way to it by collapsing the roof of the corridor to stop minion reinforcements coming in, they're in the basement, behind series of thick and shielded security doors and hardened walls! We would never reach it in one turn!" Applejack noted dismally.

Spike continued roleplaying the taunting supervillainess. "'There's nothing you can do! The city will be destroyed… and no power on this world can stop it!'”

Just when the group realized the extent of their plight...

“I pull the plug from the machine.”

Everypony gave Pinkie Pie an incredulous look, who looked back at them, “What? The power has to be charged into the Doom-Ray SOMEHOW.”

“But... it can't be as simple as that!” Twilight pointed out.

“Why not? It’s funny! In that ‘Master-of-the-Obvious’ kind of way.” Trixie suggested. Indeed, Spike also found it so hilarious that he was laughing the whole time.

“And so… by pulling the plug from the machine… and the day was saved as the Doom-Ray shut down at the last moment… and Doom-Maiden is left frothing and raging as she was taken away … seeing her plans being stopped in such a humiliating manner…” Spike managed to speak out, snickering as he imagined the absurd scene.

Session 14.8 Mooncalf99

"Starlight, for the last time, chess is NOT classicist!" Twilight said tiredly.

"Oh, please." Starlight rolled her eyes. "It's a class ladder from the highest king to the lowest pawn. You have the king and queen in the position of command, the bishops as their immediate underlings, the knights to command the rooks, and the rooks to oppress the lowest caste, the helpless pawns. How is this not obvious?"

Twilight rubbed her forehead, trying to alleviate the onset of a headache. "Starlight, you're reading too much into things that aren't there. We've been over this. Unique traits doesn't make anything automatically superior. What, next you'll tell me some O&O classes are better than others?"

"Well, fighters pretty much suck."

The two ponies' heads turned sharply towards the door and the familiar visitor standing there. "Trixie?" Twilight asked. "When did you get here?"

"Oh, about ten minutes ago," the magician said. "Trixie got into town early. I was planning on hanging out at Sugarcube Corner until the game started later tonight, but apparently Pinkie got into her head that she should teach Gilda more cake recipes. It's a disaster zone there right now, I tell you."

"So you just stood there listening for ten minutes?" Twilight asked. "That's oddly subdued for you. No offense."

"No, I put my snacks in the fridge first," Trixie said. She cantered up to the table and slouched into Rarity's seat. "But Trixie enjoys a show even when it's not her own. Until you got all 'uh-huh', 'nu-uh'. That was just repetitive. And boring."

"Really now." Starlight narrowed her eyes at Trixie. She was still forming an opinion of the blue unicorn; by all reasonable thought, she should despise a by all appearances massively egocentric blowhard who boasted her superiority in her very title. And yet she was an agreeable player, friendly even, and the other ponies in their group had accepted her easily enough. Perhaps there was something she just didn't see yet. "Then what's your opinion of the game?"

"Chess?" Trixie asked. "It's boring. Takes far too long to play a game. Poker's more fun."

"Poker is just gambling," Twilight protested, frowning at Trixie's obvious irreverence for her favorite game.

"So's mahjong, but talk like that in Chineigh and you'll get your tail burned off," Trixie said. "Mmm, now I wish I hadn't sold my jade set."

"You play mahjong?" Twilight asked, interested. "Spike's been asking me to find a set ever since he found out it's part of his 'draconic cultural heritage', as he put it."

"Yes, the chineighse dragons are very fond of it," Trixie said, smiling at an old memory. "Trixie played it a lot when she toured the Republic as a filly. Very shrewd players. Not generally given to underestimating their opponents, either. I lost so many games... but that just made the victories sweeter." She sighed with nostalgic feeling.

"That's very interesting," Starlight admitted. "But I asked about chess. Do you agree that it's promoting an unfair class model?"

"No, not really?" Trixie said. "What's so unfair about it?"

"All of it?" Starlight suggested. "You have the king at the top..."

"But the king is useless," Trixie retorted.

"It's the most important piece of the game," Twilight pointed out.

"It's slow, it's vulnerable, and it's subject to special rules," Trixie said disdainfully. "From a certain point of view, the king is nothing but a liability. It can't take other pieces unless they get really close, and if they an do that they can just as easily take the king right away. Sure, you can bait the opponent into a trap with it, but that's about it, and a player who does that is taking a huge gamble. As for it having any authority, that's ridiculous. The king is less a commander and more a supply wagon, or some other vital resource you can't go on without."

Twilight shook her head. "I can't really agree with that. I still think it works as an analogue for the commanding officer who commands the rest of the troops."

"Would the Royal Guard stop fighting just because their captain got taken out?" Trixie posited.

"Point," Starlight said. "The queen, then. She's the commanding officer, and she has more power than the other pieces and is more important. Correct?"

"Assuming that versatility counts as a power, yes," Trixie agreed. "Can move in all directions as far as she needs to, so she's dangerous. But that makes her more of a weapon than anything else, and her presence doesn't do anything for the other pieces, so how does she command? And then there's the fact that she's a prime target. Take her out and suddenly the opponent's got far fewer options, correct?What do you do when your opponent takes your queen, Twilight?"

"I can deal with that," Twilight said. "I wouldn't build my whole strategy on one piece."

"A valid argument," Trixie said. "Still, my point stands. It's the same reason why, when I took over Ponyville, my first act was to kick Twilight out of town, because I assumed she was the most powerful threat."

"I've heard about that incident," Starlight said slowly. "I didn't expect you to be so... candid about it."

"It's history," Trixie said dismissively. "It was a mistake and not something I'll ever do again, but it happened and pretending it didn't won't help any. If anything, that's how you repeat your mistakes."

"It helps that we forgave you and became friends," Twilight said with a happy smile.

Trixie rolled her eyes. "Yes, yes, hooray for friendship. Anyway, that's the second problem with the queen. Because everypony thinks it's so powerful, they pay too much attention to it and not enough to the other pieces. Much like how Trixie thought getting rid of Twilight was enough, and so paid no attention to Fluttershy."

"Ah-hah!" Starlight said. "So Fluttershy is the humble pawn. The one who sneaks across the board unnoticed and wins the game in their own way."

"No, pawns are too limited in movement to really sneak," Trixie objected. "Though I agree that they can avoid notice by being underestimated."

"Yes, pawns are very powerful in their own way, as long as you know how to play them," Twilight said. "But Fluttershy would be a knight, right? Moving unpredictably, skipping past obstacles."

"That's the one," Trixie agreed. "Ugh, never could keep track of those. They always show up where you least expect them. Also, why are they the only pieces shaped like ponies?"

"Well, the original designs for the pieces were very different, but..." Twilight began. She suddenly realized she had no idea why. There has to be a reason, right? I probably have a book on the history of chess somewhere... ooh, I have to remember to look it up later! "Never mind that. The point is that Trixie underestimated Fluttershy because she only saw me as the real threat."

"Rarity would be the bishop, of course," Trixie continued. "A bit sneaky, but somewhat more predictable in their movement. And Rainbow Dash is the rook - powerful but blunt and blatantly obvious. Which leaves Applejack as the pawn. Simple, straightforward, but definitely not a resource to ignore."

"I'm fairly certain that's not the issue I asked about," Starlight said. "I asked-- wait. What does that leave Pinkie Pie?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Trixie asked. "She's the joker, of course."

"...That's poker," Starlight deadpanned.

"Indeed," Trixie said. She got to her hooves. "And the first thing you need to know about poker is that four deuces beats a pair of aces anytime. See you later, ladies." Then she threw down a smoke bomb and vanished in the cloud... save for the sound of hooves receding down the hallway and the front door slamming shut.

Twilight sighed. "I'm sorry about that, Starlight. I'd say that Trixie's hard to get used to, but I don't think you can get used to her. A bit like Pinkie Pie, I guess..."

Starlight narrowed her eyes. "Hmm... four deuces beats a pair of aces, huh..."

Session 14.9 Mooncalf99

"...Which is why you can't use Genesis to just create a demiplane of nothing but platinum," Trixie finished. "It breaks the antropic principle."

"I guess that makes sense," Rainbow said dubiously. "Still, if the DM wants to nix the idea, can't she just say 'No, won't allow it'?"

"That's the ultimate recourse, but you want to try to have an actual justification for your decisions," Twilight said. "Otherwise you might look like a petty tyrant, and nopony wants that."

"Unless you play Paranoia," Trixie pointed out. "Then it's par for the course."

"I want to play Paranoia again sometime," Starlight said wistfully. "Although apparently you play it differently here."

"Well..." Twilight said. "I suppose we could try a game sometime, Our Town style. Right, girls? Just for a change of pace?"

"Uh..." Rainbow hesitated. "...yeah! That sounds fun! Getting along instead of vaporizing each other for treason! Right, Trixie?"

"Well, at least Applejack will enjoy it..." Trixie muttered.

Pinkie Pie chose that moment to sproink into the throne room, followed by a less sproinky Gilda. Both were oddly moist despite the clear skies outside, with Pinkie's mane drooping just a little. "Hi, girls!" she announced. "Who's up for fun and cake?" She dumped several artfully made delicacies on the table.

"Bit excessive for game night, isn't it?" Trixie said. She snagged a slice of black forest cake. "Still, Trixie doesn't object. Why are you both wet?"

"We had to take a bath," Pinkie said with a giggle. "The frosting got everywhere! Gilda was really on a roll today."

Trixie sniffed the air carefully. "That explains why she smells of cinnamon."

"Shut up, you," Gilda said. "Hey, Dash. You mind if I crash at your place for a while longer?"

"Hey, my place is your place," Rainbow said grandiosely. "What's the deal, though? I thought you were flying back to Griffonstone tomorrow."

"Yeah, well... I'm kinda short on bits at the moment," Gilda admitted. "I'm hanging around for a while until I've got that taken care of."

"We played some poker earlier, when Sparkle went chess nuts," Trixie interjected helpfully. "Gilda got taken to the cleaners."

"You could pay her back if she's that broke, Trixie," Twilight admonished.

"And you speak as though Trixie had the money," Trixie snorted. "We were playing against the Pies. Maud and Limestone."

"Oooooh," Rainbow exclaimed in realization. "Oh, I getcha. Oh, man, playing against Maud? She's gotta have the perfect poker face, right?"

Gilda faceclawed with a groan. Pinkie and Trixie simultaneously broke into giggles, then looked at each other in surprise before hoofbumping.

"What?" Rainbow asked, baffled. "What's so funny? Am I missing something?"

Pinkie choked down the giggles as well as she could. "Dashie... you know Maud doesn't care for winning, right?"

Trixie nodded. "She just goes along for the company. Weird, but that's how she is."

"Okay, so..." Rainbow began. "So, then..."

Gilda groaned again. "How the flying feather do you read a player who's just mad all the time?!"

Session 14.10 Ardashir

"Applejack, er, I mean, Treekeeper, you can stop holding the mad scientists Skim and Skam down with vines and punching them now. They're unconscious."

"Can Ah wait for them ta regain consciousness and start hitting them again?"

"Sorry, no. This isn't an Iron Age game."

"Darn it."

Session 14.11 Richforce (Based on Papers, Please)

“Starlight’s picking the game tonight?” said Fluttershy. “I Hope it’s not one of the games she helped to get funded.”

“It is,” said Twilight. “But not in usual sense. The game was originally made in Roednia and she played it during a trip she took there. She helped to fund a translated version for Equestria.”

“Starlight and Roedina,” said Rainbow Dash. “Why am I getting a bad feeling about this?”

Starlight came into the game room and started setting up. “Hope everypony’s ready, I think you’ll get a kick out this game in particular Rarity.”

“Why me in particular?” asked Rarity.

“Because Border Check is a game that needs the player to look for details. The setting is during the decline of the Hooviet Regime, you play as a customs inspector trying to keep your family alive with your minimal wages from processing the passports and paper work of people trying to cross the border. If all of their documents check out you approve the immigrant’s entry, if something is off you can either straight up deny them or investigate further to see if they need to be detained. Each correctly processed immigrant gets you five Krubels, if you can last thirty days you win with the player having the most savings being the overall winner.”

“Seems simple enough, said Twilight.

“Oh, and for each mistake you make you get a citation. The first two in a day are warnings so you lose no Krubels but after that you’ll be given a fine and the amount raises by five Krubels for each one.”

“Sounds mighty steep,” said Applejack. “You got low wages and some pretty steep penalties like that.”

“Well they made it to poke fun at the old regime while remembering how bad it was. That way they could make sure something that bad never happened again.”

“It’s different,” said Pinkie. “But we won’t know if it’s fun until we try.”

“I don’t know,” said Dash. “We’re still just letting folks into the country. How hard could it be?”

+++

As it turned out it was very challenging. At first the policy was simple, deer in, everyone else out. But as the policy was relaxed they had to check that the documents were legitimate and as events continued to unfold new rules had to be added so that the purpose of the visit needed a plethora of new documents to discourage terrorists, smugglers and other criminals. And with so many to keep track of and rules that changed on an almost daily basis it became that much easier to overlook one detail that could mean the difference between a clean pass and a denial, so the citations had started to rack up.

Dash had the worst time of it, her strategy focused on processing as many creatures a day a possible and her snap decisions ending up getting so many citations she wound up in debt which caused her to be thrown in jail.

“But I only owed five Krubels!” Dash said.

“Sorry,” said Starlight. “But the regime thinks a government worker in debt is one who could be bought.”

Shortly after this the presence of a rebel group began to influence events. Now they had to decide on whether to help out the rebels which usually involved getting a citation or try to simply keep their job. Twilight, being a stickler for the rules handed over the rebel documents she was given to the intelligence agent at the first opportunity. This got her promptly arrested.

“I followed procedure!” said Twilight. “I thought these Hooviet types encouraged reporting on dissenters!”

“The Ministry of Intelligence doesn’t trust anyone,” said Starlight. “To one of their officers the only way you could have gotten that coded note was if you were connected to the rebels and not just given an offer.”

Fluttershy decided to aid the rebels, mostly because she played in a way to help out the most creatures. The problem was she got flustered with the number of documents she had to check and made mistakes so helping just got MORE citations. So when the rebels gave her a thousand Krubel gift it felt like a godsend that not only kept her suffering family afloat but put her in the lead. Until the next day when the government confiscated all of her savings.

“I don’t understand!” said Fluttershy.

“Well they’re keeping an eye on their workers’ bank accounts,” said Starlight. “The sudden influx of a large amount of cash raised some red flags with them.”

This caused Fluttershy to panic trying to process enough people to keep the family alive and taking bribes where she could. But she was so focused on the immediate needs of the family that she denied entry to the rebel agent who could have stopped the investigation in Fluttershy’s finances. So while she was able to raise enough money she was still arrested for the original discrepancy.

Applejack, Rarity and Pinkie Pie fared much better. Not only did they kept a good eye out on details, which in turn allowed them to AFFORD to do the right thing for people, but they learned to game the rules where possible. When a guard offered kickbacks for detaining suspicious creatures they upped the number of detainments they made even if it took more time, when offered a bribe they usually took it as it tended to pay more than processing them properly.

At first Rarity, as Starlight expected, had the biggest savings due to rarely making a mistakes with the passports and other documents. But that began to change when the end of a day came and the bills had to be paid. Rarity when given the chance moved into better apartments, while this lowered the heating bill the rent went up and well.

Applejack on other hoof stayed where she started at and alternated between paying for food or paying of heat and occasionally buying medicine for the youngest member. As a result, AJ’s decisions made up for her slightly worse performance overtaking Rarity in the savings department and caused Pinkie to take up the same pattern.

“Us Apples learned to make due where we can,” said Applejack. “You could go back to the C8 apartment.”

“I am not having my family live in a dump,” said Rarity.

“This is Hooviet Roedina,” said Pinkie. “Unless you are big official everyone lives in a dump.”

AJ continued her lead until about a week before the end of the game. The inspectors had to double as guards by this time and the rebels wanted an assassination on a Hooviet spy about to cross the border. While AJ could have followed the rebels’ orders exactly she decided to tranquilize the spy instead of killing him. This lead to her getting arrested and things getting harder for the rebels.

“On the bright side the rebels were able to get your family out of the country,” said Starlight.

“You’d think I’d get something for saving the guy’s life,” said AJ.

“You did. The government will send you to a forced labor camp instead of executing you.”

So it came down to Rarity and Pinkie Pie with the party pony having a clear edge cashwise. But Pinkie wasn’t sure the rebels were entirely good, though she did help them a bit. Realizing that could be trouble down the road she started confiscating Yakyakistan passports so a forger who came by could use with a considerable fee to get Pinkie and her family out of the country.

“That was probably the right call,” said Starlight. “But you’ve given Rarity a chance to catch up.”

And Rarity worked hard at it until the last day when the rebels made their move on the border. Since she helped them completely she just stood back while they took down the border wall.

“The Hooviet Regime collapses,” said Starlight. “For aiding the rebels: you are made an agent for the new order and your family is moved into a better house. Tallying up your score you beat Pinkie Pie by five Krubels.”

“That was pretty close,” said Rarity. “Still given that how badly the Hooviet departments functioned it was no wonder they collapsed.”

“My visit made me realize the Our Town would have never worked,” said Starlight.

“What do mean?” said Twilight. “I thought we already got past that.”

“I mean from a civic standpoint. Sure while we were all equal without cuite marks; it was only a matter of time until somepony found a way to manipulate the system in their favor. Trying to force equality of station or in-come through a system of rules only leads to the system breaking down and leaving things worse off for everypony.”

“There is a happy medium, give ponies the tools they need to help themselves and you can bring everypony up. Some would be better off than others but everypony would be better off than when they started."

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Session 14.0 Kendell2
Session 14.1 Mooncalf99 (OOC: "The preceding scene may or may not be 100% canon. We leave it as an exercise to the reader to decide.")
Session 14.2 BrutalityInc (Author's note: Basically, homage to Mutants and Masterminds. I personally wish to see what superhero characters other writers come up with for the Mane Six and Trixie that is unique and not based on the Power Ponies. Also, parody and decon/reconstruction of comicbooks and superheroes tropes are highly welcomed)
Session 14.3 MtangaLion
Session 14.4 Ardashir
Session 14.5 Alex Warlorn
Session 14.6 Kendell2
Session 14.7 BrutalityInc
Session 14.8 Mooncalf99
Session 14.9 Mooncalf99
Session 14.10 Ardashir
Session 14.11 Richforce (Based on Papers, Please)

Cover art by Danosix http://danosix.deviantart.com/art/MLP-Dungeons-and-Dragons-251688691

Session 16

Session 16.0 Alex Warlorn

"So you see! My game, Gypsy-Carriage, be fun game! Run over vicious rabbits. Liberate coin from stupid creatures. Have all fun in own living room!"

"Uh..." Shining Armor uncomfortable looking at the old nag, he couldn't even tell her type with the different colored rags he was wearing. "I'm sorry but... after the Diamond Dogs... we don't really want to make any games that might be... offensive... " 'Gutless. Also, get me chocolate cheese balls.' Sinning could practically hear his pregnant wife say.

"Offensive? But I Gypsy-pony!"

"Yeeeeaaaaaaaaaahhh. If you say you are. But sorry no."

"How dare you! I curse you! You first born foal will be named something very stupid! I curse you I curse you!" The old nag scooped up her game prototype and huffed out of the castle.

"Humph! Every pony knows curses aren't real, like zombies."

Meanwhile in Sunny Town deep within Everfree, Gray Hoof sneezed. Rather odd since the zombie pony hadn't sneezed in a very long time indeed. Not since before they mercy killed Ruby for obvious contracting the cutie pox. Why the entire town had been cursed for that was beyond him... which might explain WHY they were still cursed.

Session 16.1 Alex Warlorn

"TWILEY!" Now her big brother burst into her... audience chamber she guessed? She hadn't come up with names for all the rooms yet. And behind him were his high school buddies. Didn't he hang out with his friends from Guard Academy anymore? Sure, Caramel was always with Sassaflash, but what about Cherry, Banjo, and Note-Worthy? "I need to make a royal mandate!"

"... Can't you have Cadence do it?" Twilight felt a headache coming on.

"... Well.. she's getting pretty along on her pregnancy and.. is getting kinda weirder as she gets closer ... and I don't want to stress her out with extra work... "

"I refuse to believe your unborn foal is telekinetically bringing pickled ice-cream into your bedroom when Cadence gets midnight cravings."

"Ugh! It's not about that! It's this new billboard ad!" Shining Armor unfurled it. "This is just insulting! It has to go!"

The Gamer Trio roared in agreement.

Twilight looked down... it seemed to depict a group of mouth breathing, not completely attractive stallions huddled around a table. They looked bored out of their minds. One had fallen face first on the table. They were in somepony's basement and around them were... O&O books with maps and figures... and flashed across the bottom was... dead-pan information on Equestria's largest dating service?

"Shining... I agree this is in bad taste... but... I can't go censoring advertisements... that's how dictatorships get started."

"IT'S SLANDER!" 8-Bit declared.

"ACTUALLY IT'S PRINTED SO IT LIBEL!" Poindexster corrected.

"WHAT HAPPENS IF MY SON SEES THIS?! HE'LL THINK HIS DAD'S HOBBIES ARE WRONG AND STUNT HIS DEVELOPMENT!"

"It's damaging my O&O store's business!" Gaffer protested.

Twilight needed the headache pills. She did Cadence's breathing routine. "Come on, what naive impressionable foal is going to believe this tripe?"

Twilight Sparkle should have known better than to phrase her question like that.

"WE DON'T PLAY O&O! So please play with us! WE DON'T PLAY O&O! So please play us with!" Snips and Snails marched down the streets waving a flag with a crossed out twenty-sider on it.

Session 16.2 Mtangalion

In the Cutie Mark Crusaders' tree house, Button Mash thumped his hooves on the podium. "That billboard is completely unfair! Shining Armor plays O&O, and he's married to a princess!"

"And what about his three friends?" asked Diamond Tiara.

Button blinked. "Well... my dad is married to my mom, of course."

"And the other two?"

Button's ears drooped a bit.

Sweetie Belle glared at her. "Diamond, be nice."

Silver Spoon shrugged. "This is her being nice. You should see the insult jar she's keeping in her room now. It's nearly half full after only a week."

"So, only fifty percent of our O&O playing stallions have a special somepony," mused Apple Bloom.

Diamond Tiara sighed. "No offense... but I don't think we need any fancy Apple math to divide two by four."

"Of course," Apple Bloom continued, "you'd also have to take into account all the Ponyville mares playing O&O now, and gather data on the specific times when O&O games and romantic events occurred to determine the correlation..." She noticed all of the looks she was getting. "What? Ah keeping telling ya, numbers are easy when you work with apples."

"Makes sense," said Scootaloo.

"No it doesn't!" retorted Diamond Tiara. "No, it totally doesn't! Explain to me how that makes any sense!"

Apple Bloom tapped her chin with a hoof, and her face lit up with a grin. "Ah'll prove it to ya! Ah bet you three jars of Zap Apple Jam that if ya help plant apple trees on our farm for a week, you *will* be better with numbers!"

Diamond stared. "So, getting my hooves absolutely filthy..."

Apple Bloom nodded. "Yep!"

"And having to explain this to mother and father, and my embarrassment and loss of social standing..."

"Yep!"

"Versus the tiny possibility of actually getting some kind of math whiz super power out of this?" Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. "Gee, I *wonder* what are the odds I'd regret taking *that* bet?"

"Only seventeen point four percent," said Apple Bloom.

Diamond Tiara froze. "You know what? Fine." She gave the farm filly a slightly crazed grin. "Let's go plant some apples."

Session 16.3 Alex Warlorn

"Let's start by turning off those pesky high-brain functions shall we?" Discord snapped his fingers.

Gilda ceased to be Gilda, in her place was a feral griffin, driven only by blind instinct and primal drives. This beast held memories of a rainbow maned pegasus with a broken friendship that made no sense to the wild animal.

It only wondered if it should fight or flee from this unknown creature in front of her that had so many confusing scents.

"Now Gilda." Discord grinned, though she didn't really understand what Discord was saying to her at the moment. "See all these tasty ponies? ... Go hunt your natural prey little griffin."

The mindless animal didn't need to be told to begin with, it smelled Prey (ponies, but to the beast they were just Prey, it didn't know things like species names), it let out a blood thirsty shriek and flew at the nearest pegasus, its simplistic mind only knew the desire to kill and eat the Prey.

Gilda woke up with a shriek, she puffed out her chest, raise her shoulder and flared out of her wings on instinct, her eyes darted about... no Discord... no Discord... he was reformed now... he wasn't going to do that to her again... she hadn't killed or eaten any pony... right?

Gilda crawled from the 'guest bed' (couch), and crawled to Dash's room. "Dash?"

"Ugh! Gilda! What happened?"

"Just... just a bad dream... hey, wanna play Animal Town?"

"What? You want that cutesy game in the middle of the-"

"Please Dash?"

".... Alright G', okay."

The two sat down on the couch as RD powered up the old machine from the game she'd gotten from Fluttershy, letting them name the town and their characters, and having a crazy debt to pay off to the raccoon... and all the animals living in harmony... Gilda breathed in deep, she could trust Dash to keep a secret.

Session 16.4 BrutalityInc

(Continuing from 16.1)

"Actually, the solution is quite obvious," Spike said, walking into the audience chamber, eating a tub of ice-cream with a spoon, "Why not have another ad printed, this one depicting the Princess of Friendship and the rest of the Mane Six, or just any group of friends or pony couples, having fun playing tabletop games, with a tagline below saying 'You're never alone in your hobby!' or something. For good measure, add a small print at the bottom stating this message has royal endorsement!"

Princess Twilight, Shining and his friends looked at each other upon hearing this proposal.

"That... might actually work." Shining Armor noted, thinking deeply "That way, we would be able to counter the message of that stupid ad without censoring it, while simultaneously encouraging more ponies to play tabletop games, dispelling the social stigma and stereotype around it, bringing the hobby out to mainstream!"

"Not to mention it would massively boost sales and demand, thereby giving me even more business!" Gaffer added, suddenly excited by the prospect.

"That may be so, but there are ways this could backfire," 8-Bit cautioned, "Some ponies might complain that the Royal Court is giving disproportional support to one hobby or entertainment media, or set a precedent that could lead to a surge of requests for Royal endorsements to other medias and messages."

"Or it could have an opposite effect, namely causing the Princess and her friends to look like nerds with no social life beyond their group, making the problem even worse." Gizmo added cynically, "I can just see all the headlines in the tabloids and newspapers - 'Princess Twilight and Friends: Elements of Nerdiness!'. Not only would it tarnish the Princess's image, it might trigger a moral panic about tabletop games..."

"In any case, this... bears potential." Princess Twilight decided, "Thanks for sharing your idea, Spike! I'll have a word with the other Princesses for advice."

"I'll go find an advert company to print the message if you approve!" Spike said.

"Make sure to find out if that advert company had a rival business who would be MORE than happy to oblige our request..." Shining Armor suggested, giving a rather diabolical smirk.

Session 16.5 Mtangalion

Diamond Tiara put her cards face down on the Apple family's kitchen table, and massaged one sore forehoof with the other. "I scrubbed and scrubbed, and they still feel dirty... but besides that, I guess planting apples wasn't all that bad."

Big Mac and Filthy Rich studied their cards, saying nothing for now, but Apple Bloom pushed a stack of chips forward. "Ah raise fifteen." She winked at Big Mac. "Those eighty-three bits in the pot are as good as mine!"

"Eighty-four," said Diamond Tiara without thinking. She froze.

"Yes!" Apple Bloom hoofbumped with Big Mac. "Told ya!"

"Eeeyup!"

Mr. Rich put a hoof on his daughter's shoulder. "Princess? Are you alright?"

Diamond shook herself. "No... I mean, yes! I need three jars of Zap Apple Jam to pay off the bet, and that's two hundred seventy-two bits with tax, but I don't have to ask for an advance on my allowance because there's three hundred and twelve bits in my insult jar... Buck!" She smiled sheepishly. "Three hundred thirteen when we get home?"

"Ten bits for swearing," said Mr. Rich firmly. "Hmm, we should tell your mother and Miss Cheerilee about this."

Session 16.6 Ardashir

Gaffer, 8-Bit, and Gizmo walked in as the Old Gypsy Pony finished putting her curse on Shining Armor.

"What the heck is going on?" Gaffer blinked to see the old mare. "Wait, is this Chrysalis in one of her disguises? It looks almost ugly enough to be her, but she checked up on our latest 'Changeling' module last week..."

"Changeling!" The three stallions recoiled as the offended mare shut one eye and glared at them with the other. She started with Gaffer. "On you too I put curse!"

"A curse?" 8-Bit snorted. "There's no such a thing!"

"So, you mock me? Bah! Upon you also a curse! And..." She turned to Gizmo, raised her hoof to fling something, and set it back down with a shrug. "Bah. Somepony got to you already." She walked out with chilly dignity.

"Cursed?" Gizmo laughed. "Yeesh, that old bat's crazy! Curses. I'd like to see one hit me!"

Three stallions shuddered upon hearing those words.

You can guess what happened next. The floor right under Gizmo creaked, and groaned, and shuddered. He leaped to the side -- and nothing happened.

Gizmo smirked at his friends. "You guys are bring stupor-, I mean, stupid-, I mean, superstitious! Nothing's going to happen." Gizmo trotted three steps forward.

Just in time for a twenty-pound chunk of falling ceiling plaster to come crashing against his head.

His three friends looked up as Gizmo fell down.

"Guys," Shining Armor gave a sigh, "I though we agreed to get that fixed. Third time this week!"

Session 16.7 Kendell2

"Digipony: Cyber Sleuth?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I believe Button was showing the game version to Sweetie Belle," said Rarity, tapping her chin. "He says he liked it."

"Eh, so long as it's better than the new Manega they made," Rainbow Dash remarked. "Anyway, what's the plot?"

Spike smirked. "Well you see, there's this computer network called EDEN where you can go into, kinda physical and stuff, and your job is to investigate mysteries hackers are causing...Oh, and you're kinda half digital after typical run in with supernatural scifi stuff."

"Alright, this will be fun."

"I DO like mystery novels," said Rarity. "So this should be fun."

"Um...We don't hurt them, right?" Fluttershy asked. "The creatures?"

"Don't worry, Fluttershy, Tamers was the only time they didn't just respawn if anything happened to them," Rainbow Dash explained.

"Oh...that's good..."

"Yeah, and you're kinda able to make a lot of them your friend, so no problem," Spike explained.

"Yay."

Session 16.8 Mooncalf99

Gilda gestured proudly at the plate stacked with confectioneries. "So I call 'em clawssants. Except they're nothing like croissants, but hey, whatever, right? What do you think?"

"They'we gweat!" Rainbow Dash said, spraying crumbs. She quickly swallowed most of her mouthful. "I mean, they're great. Really tasty."

"Sweet... and salty... with a dash of lemon?" Trixie said, nibbling her clawssant carefully. "And nutmeg too? You really went all out on the seasoning this time."

"Yeah, the spice rack broke and... I mean, yeah! That's just how this griffon rolls, right?" Gilda said quickly. "It's an explosion of flavor with every bite!"

"Speaking of explosions, you-- waugh!" Pinkie began, only to be cut off by a flying elbow followed by an elaborate submission hold.

"Whoop! There we go!" Gilda exclaimed. "Don't worry, just sudden wrasslin'. She likes it, says it keeps her on her toes. Claws. Hooftips. Whatever."

"I am so proud of you," Pinkie whispered happily.

Twilight and Starlight walked into the room at that moment, just in time to see Pinkie attempt a reversal followed by a flawless sleeper hold. "Um. Are we interrupting something?" Starlight asked. "This isn't a friendship lesson, is it?"

"It's not something I'd do, but I've found that you can learn friendship from the least likely things," Twilight said. "This isn't a problem is, it? Do you need an intervention? Or, um, some privacy?"

Gilda released her grip and scooted away like the Pie Clan scion was a hot plate from the oven. "No-no, just messing around!" Pinkie simply bounced back into her seat like nothing had ever happened.

"Let's just game, okay?" Trixie said. "It feels like we've been neglecting this adventure for ages."

"We are gonna meet up with the others eventually, right?" Rainbow Dash said. "I mean, a smaller party means more spotlight for me, but..."

"I won't spoil anything, but yes, eventually," Twilight said with a wink and a smile. "Now, let's recap. When last we left off, you were attacked by pirates, who demanded your surrender. Instead, you decided to ram them. Except your ship is small and flimsy."

"Wait, how big is the pirate ship? Compared to ours?" Starlight asked.

"Comparatively? Like Tirek at his most powerful, going up against a breezie," Twilight said matter-of-factly.

"Ah," Starlight said. "Those are not good odds, then."

~~~~~~

Meanwhile, in another realm...

The beast fell to the ground with a mighty crash, its broken wings twitching weakly. It raised its head and stared at its opponent in abject fear. "This... this cannot be! I cannot lose! I am a dragon! You are just a breezie!"

Seabreeze just spat and adjusted the grip on his full-sized claymore. "You've got that wrong. I am a breezie. You are just a dragon."

~~~~~~

"No problem!" Gilda said. "We'll just stick Starlight on the front--"

"Me?!?" Starlight said in protest. "What's that supposed to accomplish?"

Gilda faceclawed. "No, not you. The other one... uh..."

"Bright Light," Trixie said. "Seriously, it hasn't been that long since we played last."

"Sorry, I've had a lot to think about..." Gilda said. "Eh, forget about it, I'll just find a weak spot and shoot it open myself."

"There's what looks like a docking bay, sealed with a force field," Twilight said.

"Perfect!" Gilda said. "Ramming speed! I unleash a burst of awesomic fire too."

"You and your fire have no effect on the force field," Twilight declared. "In fact, you pass right through as though it's not there. You're now careening down a metal-lined corridor and bouncing off the walls like a pinball. You may scream in terror."

"Aiieee!" Trixe, Pinkie and Starlight obliged.

"Good, extra experience points for you three," Twilight said.

"Also, 'ding ding ding, multiball'. So was that, like, a force field that keeps space out?" Pinkie asked.

"What?" Twilight asked in surprise. "No, space isn't a thing, it was made to keep the air in and..." She stopped. "You know what? Never mind. Yes, it keeps space out. Why not?" She took a deep breath. "Anyway, you eventually come to rest against a wall in what looks like a landing bay or engineering bay or something. Wings, you take ten bonk and is knocked out..."

"Uh, why?" Rainbow asked. "I was strapped in and sitting in the back seat."

"...Oh." Twilight blushed with embarrassment. "Sorry, it's just, well, you get knocked out a lot and I forgot you weren't driving this time."

"Hey, that doesn't happen that often!" Rainbow turnd to Trixie. "...Does it?"

"Yeah, it does. One day you're going to wake up in a coma," Trixie said.

"Doesn't a coma mean she won't..." Starlight facehoofed. "Never mind, I don't care. I climb out of the ship and survey the damage. How bad is it?"

"It looks pretty bad. The saucer section is badly dented and cracked in places, with sparking wires hanging out and magical smoke wafting from the exhaust pipes," Twilight said.

"Just to be clear, I'm looking for damage from the crash, not anything we started with thanks to Wings' attempts at engineering," Starlight said.

"Heeey," Rainbow protested.

"Oh, right." Twilight rolled some dice. "The fuzzy dice fell off."

"Just be honest with us here, Sparkle," Trixie said solemnly. "The sexy Luna and awesome Starswirl paintjob - is it still okay?"

Twilight shook her head. "Scratched up completely."

The magician raised her hooves in despair. "NOOOOOOOOoh well, guess I'll just have to redo it. What should we go for this time? Celestia rocking out on a V-guitar? Tirek getting horribly and humorously abused in some way? Lots and lots of changelings?"

"Uh, maybe you should hold that thought for a bit," Twilight said. "Because you're surrounded by space pirates."

"Oooh, space pirates!" Pinkie squealed. "They're my favorite spacey thing that's also piratey! Do they have laser-cutlasses and cybernetic peglegs and holo-eyepatches and cloned parrots?"

"What do you think, Pinkie?" Twilight said as she placed several little figurines on the table. "Of course they do."

Gilda snatched up one of the 'pirates' by its head and looked at it. "We're being attacked by LEGO pirates?" She wiggled the little horse's legs a little.

"I picked them up back when Spike and I furnished BBBFF's room," Twilight said. She tried to take the figurine back, but only managed to detach the body. "Come on, put it back."

Gilda narrowed her eyes at the tiny yellow head between her claws. "Hmm..."

"I sock 'em across the jaw and take another head for my trophy bag," Gilda exclaimed triumphantly. "Hahaha!"

Twilight rolled her eyes as she carefully plucked off another head and rolled it over to Gilda's stack. "He makes an annoyed grunt as his head flies off. The rest of your 'trophies' voice their disapproval as well. One of them shouts something unrepeatable about your mother."

"My mom threw me out of the nest and halfway across the galaxy before I was even hatched," Gilda said with a shrug. "Claws-off parenting, you know? Okay, so any more targets?"

Starlight sighed. "Is all this fighting necessary? I guess it's nice that they can't die from decapitation, but--"

Starlight was probably going to say more, but Pinkie chose that moment to yank her aside. "Just let her have this," she whispered.

"Huh?" Starlight said.

Pinkie glanced at the others, noting that they were paying more attention to Gilda than them. "Look... Gilda's had a rough time recently, okay? I don't know what it is and she's not telling - maybe she's told Dashie, I don't know, she's not telling either, and I won't prod 'cuz Gilda's really prickly and I'm just glad she wants to be our friend. So... just let her have her fun for now, okay?"

Starlight was struck speechless for a moment. Pinkie could be very thoughtless, and it was easy to dismiss her as a simpleton or a crazy oddball, and yet sometimes... "Okay. I suppose... I suppose that's what friends do."

"That's exactly right," Pinkie said with a smile. "And maybe once she's had her fun and we've taken out their captain, you can try to talk them into giving up their piratey ways and forming an egalitarian space society where everyone gets along."

Starlight blinked in surprise, and giggled. "You really mean that, don't you? I'll get right on preparing my speech."

Session 16.9 Mooncalf99

"You know, G..." Rainbow Dash said. "You've really taken to this baking gig."

"Hmm," Gilda mused, not taking her eys off the thin ginger snap in her claws. She carefully spread some cream cheese on it and topped it with another ginger snap, before taking a careful bite. She looked thoughtful. "You think?"

"Well, yeah," Rainbow said. "I know Pinkie kinda dragged you into it, but you look... kinda happy. It's just that, back in flight camp? You always said you'd become a knight, or a soldier, or a hero, or an awesome stunt flier, or something like that."

"And you said you'd become a Wonderbolt," Gilda mused. "Nothing else. Only the Wonderbolts would do."

"Yeah... well... if I'd told you back then you'd become a baker, you'd have punched me," Rainbow said.

"Huh." Gilda put down her newest experiment. "Dash, did I ever tell you the story about the griffon warrior hens?"

"Never heard of them," Rainbow said.

"Well, Gramps told me of these griffons who had to fight when they had no home and no safe place, so they had to fly into battle with their own newborn chicks on their backs," Gilda explained. "I know, it's boneheaded to have a clutch when there's fighting going on, but sometimes these things happen, you know? Anyway, because they had them along, they could never turn their backs on the enemy, so they had to fight head-on until nothing was left, see? Fierce."

"That's awesome, Gilda," Rainbow agreed. "That's totally you."

Gilda drew herself up. "Whaat?! I'm not planning to start a nest until I'm good and ready! Sheesh, how stupid are you?" She took a deep breath. "Anyway, the point is... remember that time Ponyville got attacked by, uh, nightmare monsters from the moon?" She shook her head. "Seriously, I thought they were joking when I first heard about it, but apparently it happened."

"Yeah, I was on the moon at the time," Rainbow said with a grimace. She had missed out on a primo brawl that night. "Actually, I kinda figured you had been there. Seemed like half of Equestria came when the Princesses called. Hay, even Trixie showed!"

"Guess the invitation got lost in the mail," Gilda chuckled ruefully. She had definitely missed out on a primo brawl that night. "Anyway, thing is... the Cakes. You know 'em? Short creampuff and long beanpole with two kids? Hired me as a part-timer?"

"Everypony in Ponyville knows the Cakes," Rainbow said. "Get to the point!"

"Point is, they fought," Gilda explained. "I talked to Pinkie, to Trixie, to that weirdo with the tie and the flashlight. They jumped right into the fray and beat up those nightmare creeps with pies and cookie sheets, and they had their kids slung on their backs the whole time. Like there was no safer place than with mommy and daddy, even in the heat of battle."

"I... didn't know that," Rainbow admitted. "So..."

"So if two bakers could match deeds with legendary griffons... well, then being a baker has to be good enough for me," Gilda concluded.

Rainbow Dash contemplated the story. Then she nodded. "And then there's Pinkie Pie."

"Yeah..." Gilda said. "There's Pinkie Pie."

Session 16.10 Alex Warlorn

Dash sighed. "I'll let you in on a tiny secret... most of what you heard was true... except for one part... the Nightmare Forces weren't some alien invaders... they came from Luna... she ended up having to confess everything she did as Nightmare Moon was her own doing in her dark magic addled brain and not because of an alien parasite that took her over. After that, she was able to reabsorb it after we forced it out of Rarity, and that's the REAL story of how Luna got her fancy star-mane."

"Wait! She absorbed dark magic? I thought that stuff was evil."

"She said something about it being as evil as anger, sadness and stuff were evil, but I didn't really get it."

"Heh... you ponies sure have trouble handling your anger when you actually feel it."

"HEY! Like you're one to talk G'."

"Just kidding!"

Session 16.11 Mtangalion

Usually, the only food eaten at the gaming table was Pinkie Pie's best sugary snacks and drinks, but today a rather different sort of taste test was in progress. Rarity sampled salad from a small bowl, chewing thoughtfully. "This is actually quite good."

Gilda looked slightly relieved. "Heh, Rarity likes it. I must be doing something right. Salad dressing?"

"Only if it's low fat, darling."

"Not bad at all," agreed Applejack. "Could use some more apple bits, though."

"Yeah?! I'll keep that in mind if I'm ever catering some kinda Apple thing." Gilda blinked. "I could actually be catering some kinda Apple thing someday..."

AJ grinned. "We usually have the food for those more than covered ourselves, sugarcube, but it's somethin' to think about."

Rainbow Dash pointed a hoof. "So, what's that board game you have there, Twi? And why aren't we playing it already?"

Twilight had barely touched her salad... she was studying the colorful game board intently and filling a scroll with notes at the same time. "Huh? Oh, it's called the Game of Life. I actually brought it over from the human world. It's fascinating, all the changes that the mirror portal made... the 'cars' are carriages now, the game spaces talk about special someponies..."

"Yeah, yeah," said Dash. "Research later, gaming now! You'll spoil all the surprises."

"Only after I'm sure there's no *nasty* surprises, Dash. You haven't forgotten 'Cards Against Equinity' already, have you?"

Rainbow Dash flopped back in her seat grumpily and reached for her salad bowl. Then she noticed that she'd eaten all of hers, and tried to sneak some from Gilda's bowl instead.

"Nuh uh," said Gilda quickly. "I sprinkled bacon bits on mine."

Rainbow recoiled, looking a little green.

There was a tapping at the window. Gilda turned her head. "What the... Hey, I remember that guy. What's he doing here?"

There was a large male griffon perched on the railing of Twilight's castle balcony. He was looking away, and stretching out talons and paws, as if he'd just happened to stop there for a rest.

Rarity ooohed. "Does Miss Gilda have a gentlestallion caller? Er, gentledrake? Gentlegriff? Sorry, what's the word..."

Gilda made a face. "I'm... not even sure that's a thing with us. And he's not! He's just some griff I sold a griffonscone in Griffonstone."

"Say that three times fast," muttered Twilight, still scribbling away.

"I don't even know his name!" protested Gilda. "He's not bad looking, though..."

Twilight glanced up. "Maybe you should take this mini-changeling detection lantern," she said, instantly summoning the item with her magic. "And this glamour-dispelling powder. I *think* it will disrupt Alisa's magical costume, but the powder takes a long time to make, so I can't just go sprinkling it all over Ponyville."

"Way to kill the mood, Sparkle." Gilda nibbled on her salad, then did a spit-take at the window. The mysterious male griffon now had one wing fully extended, and he was preening it slowly and sensually. "Okay, officially back in the mood now! Any griff with a wingspan like that is definitely worth a second look." She hesitated, then grabbed the items that Twilight had summoned and flew out a door, probably off to find another window so she could slip outside and "just happen" to meet up with him.

Rarity gave Rainbow Dash a calculating look. "So, you're not jealous, darling?"

Rainbow blinked. "Jealous of what?" She blinked. "Wait, you think? ... Gilda and... me?! Bwahahaha!" The pegasus toppled out of her chair, rolling and laughing on the floor.

Rarity turned to AJ instead. "What do you think, Applejack? Was that an *honest* reaction, hmm?"

"Stop right there, Rares," said AJ. "Ah don't tell the whole gang what gets *you* all twitterpated, now, do Ah?"

Rarity chuckled weakly and blushed, halfway sliding under the table.

Twilight shook her head. "All of this romance business is too complicated for me."

Rainbow got up off the floor. "Says the princess with a coltfriend in another dimension."

Twilight blushed harder than Rarity. "Well... oh, salad! Yummy!" She reached and grabbed a mouthful out of the wrong bowl... Gilda's. "Wow, this is really good. Where have I tasted something like this before..."

Session 16.12 Alex Warlorn

Gilda had indeed climbed out a window, and was now readying herself to 'just bump into' the good looking griffin. Okay, him following her around in retrospect was kinda creepy, but she should still get to know him given many griffs hadn't shown that kind of interest in Gilda before.

"My my-and what are you doing out here Gilda? Shouldn't we be 'gaming' by now?" Gilda heard behind her.

Gilda groaned. "I don't think that game Sparkle brought from another universe has enough players for you too Discordion."

"OH! Nice insult! I have to remember that one if I ever meet myself-" Discord jovial put his paw on Gilda's shoulder.

Gilda's eyes widened. Her entire body tensed.

"Let's get rid of those pesky upper brain functions."

Her body nearly reacted on its own. She screeched, "DON'T TOUCH ME!" In one savage motion, Gilda turned, and drawing on instinct, swung her claws behind her.

And Grizelda 'Gilda' The Griffin of Griffenstone... became the first creature in thousands of thousands years to physical harm Discord.

Discord felt confusion as his brain tried to process the sensation coming from his right cheek that Gilda's left claw had left. Three red lines now visible on the right side of his face.

The two stared silently at each other in shock.

Discord teleported away in the same instant that Gilda turn and ran.

"Hey Gilda, thought you'd be-" RD began.

"How do you girls all DO IT?!" Gilda looked at them. "HOW!? How do you ... FORGIVE HIM!? How do you even STAND him?! Discord! After he HURT YOU... after he HURT those you love?"

Gilda was shaking, it wasn't from anger.

Session 16.13 Mtangalion

Rarity and Applejack made their apologies and left... It was time for the Boutique to open and the farm needed tending, though Rarity gave Gilda a quick hug first.

What followed next was another scene that no one would have expected to see in thousands of years. Fluttershy stamped into the gaming room, dragging Discord behind her. Gilda squawked and tried to hide behind Rainbow Dash.

Fluttershy hauled Discord right up to the gaming table, then tapped a hoof expectantly. "Well?"

Discord sucked in a deep breath. "I'm saaaaaaaaaa...." He cleared his throat and tried again. "I'm soooorrrrrrrrrrr..." His voice petered out into a weak cough. Then Discord looked at Gilda again and whispered something incredibly quietly and quickly.

"Discord!" said Fluttershy, a little cross and raising her voice slightly.

"I'm sorry!" blurted out Discord, folding his arms and looking the other way. "Are you happy now? I am truly and sincerely sorry for doing... that thing I did."

Gilda peeked out from behind Dash. "How do I know you're really sorry? Everything's just one big joke to you!"

Discord glided over, pointing out a "Hello, my name is Discord" tag stuck to his chest. "Well, I *am* the Lord of Chaos. That's kind of my job description." A laugh track stared playing. "How can I make it up to you?" He snapped his fingers. "I've got it! I'll grant you one wish."

"What, anything?" asked Gilda doubtfully.

Discord steepled his claws and pads. "Anything, dear Gilda. My very own extra special apology from me to you. Just say the word, and you'll be a member of the Wonderbolts, just like you always wanted." He blinked. "Oh wait, that's Rainbow, not you."

Rainbow Dash growled at him.

Twilight coughed. "Even though Discord is our friend now, I'm not sure I'd trust him."

Gilda gave Twilight a tired glare. "Gee, ya think?!"

"I could make you a legendary griffon warrior," offered Discord.

"No," said Gilda curtly.

"Fabulous riches?"

"Nope."

"Greatest chef in Equestria?"

"Buck that," said Gilda crossly. "I'll become the greatest chef in Equestria with my skills, not yours."

"Unlimited powers of transformation?"

"Like I can't think of eleven different ways you could twist that." Gilda grimaced, tugging at her crest. "Ugh, just give me a cupcake."

Discord blinked. "Say what?"

Twilight trotted over to Gilda and started whispering urgently. Gilda lifted one foot and cupped her talons to hear better, then whispered to Twilight. They went back and forth several times, and then Gilda cleared her throat. "Listen close, Dissy. I want a super delicious and healthy cupcake that I can eat right now and enjoy, with no regrets of any kind."

"Oh fine, take all the fun out of it," muttered Discord, snapping his fingers. The requested cupcake appeared on a floating silver tray. "You'd better not complain about not being a legendary warrior when the Ursas invade next week."

Gilda took the cupcake in her talons and sampled it cautiously. Her wings snapped open. "Great Grover's Googly-Eyed Grampa!" she exclaimed, gobbling up the rest of the cupcake and talking with her mouth full. "I've... mmmph... never tasted anything like this!" She licked the paper cup, getting every last crumb. "I could spend a lifetime learning to bake something this good!"

And then Gilda's face slowly lit up. "And that's just what I'm gonna do!" She gripped Discord's lion paw and shook it, grinning. "You've totally inspired me! Apology accepted!" She half-galloped, half-flew out the door, making straight for the castle kitchen.

Discord twitched. "What just happened?"

Session 16.14 BrutalityInc

“So, Ms Lulamoon…” Nurse Redheart began, “How did this happened again?”

Trixie Lulamoon was in a hospital bed, covered heavily in bandages from various cuts, bruises and other assorted wounds. Even so, she managed to speak, “Trixie recalls that it all started with a new O&O campaign at Sparkle’s place, and she rolled a new character in accordance to the setting.” She paused as she thought of something, “By the way, do you know anything about O&O?”

“I know enough to understand how it plays.” Nurse Redheart confirmed. Tabletop games had been all the craze ever since the Princess of Friendship and her friends started playing them by the truckload.

“Splendid! This means Trixie doesn’t have to explain everything from scratch.” Trixie noted happily, “Anyway, the campaign is set a highly magical world, so much that magic is permeated in everyday life and nearly all the character classes available are magically-oriented, with a few exceptions. While the others picked solely magic-based classes, I picked one who is a hybrid psionic and sorceress, neither best in both areas, but capable of flexibility. Needless to say, the others were confused or amused at my choice; Rainbow Dash actually had the nerve to scoff at me for choosing to be a medicore Jack-Of-All-Trades!”

“I suppose then you didn’t take it so well?” Redheart wondered if Trixie’s attempts at getting back on them caused her to ended up like this.

“Trixie doesn’t like to be laughed at, but she was willing to let it slide; after all, once she pulls her weight, Trixie would show them all how great and powerful she truly is!” Trixie gave a short, maniacal laugh, which ended quickly once her face started hurting again, “Of course, Trixie admits it did not go the way she intended.”

“I take it ended badly?” Redheart asked.

“It… actually ended pretty well, all things considered.” Trixie mused, “The villain of the setting was a mad wizard who had become so powerful he had become one with the plane of magic, and was returning to wreck havoc in the setting. We weren’t even supposed to fight him at the time, given he was level 40, but during one session, I found myself isolated from the rest of the group and having to face the guy alone. Given my character’s levels, it would had been certain death under any circumstances.”

“But you managed to survive…” Redheart guessed, though it was rather obvious.

“Not only that, dear nurse. Far more than that.” Trixie amended. “Trixie has earlier established with GM Spike that my character has full knowledge in both the Plane of Psionics and the Plane of Magic. I activated a scroll in my inventory to Stop Time. Since the scroll runs on Divine enchantment, not normal magical enchantment, the big bad couldn’t undo the Time Stop even with his nigh-omnipotent command of magic. Trixie was also told that she could sever magic-users’ link to magic by disrupting a specific point in the Plane of Magic, the ‘Manaleph’, where the largest number of connection are located. In the few turns I have, I cast plane-shift, drifted over to the Manaleph, and casted ‘Gate’.”

“A gate to what?” Redheart inquired.

“A gate to another plane… in this case, the Plane of Antimagic.” Trixie explained. “Trixie had hoped that a rush of antimagic into the Plane of Magic, at the point of connection between magic users and the plane of magic, would weaken and stun the big bad wizard long enough for Trixie and the others to escape. Of course, that was when Trixie’s inglorious streak as ‘World-Wrecker’ reared its head. Trixie fumbled her roll in such a way that, while Trixie did managed to cast the planar gate, I lost control of it. It didn’t just open – it started expanding, at an exponential rate. And to make matters worse, Trixie had forgotten that planar gates in this setting is permanent unless the spell-user themselves dispel it, and… well, Trixie did not entertain the thought of being stuck in the Plane of Magic with the Big Bad, or the Antimagic energies rushing into the Plane, once the Time Stop ends, and so casted plane-shift to get out.”

“Needless to say, all Tartarus broke lose?” Redheart noted. Trixie nodded.

“The deluge of Antimagic the into the Plane did more than disrupted the Big Bad’s powers. After a few turns, the gate’s exponential expansion reached infinity, which according to the GM, caused the infinite Planes of Magic and Antimagic to fuse together and resulted in mutual annihilation.” Trixie elaborated. “With the Plane of Magic gone, so too the power it permeated the world with. Every powerful arcane artifact in the world instantly became useless junk. Every spell and enchantment instantly became little more than fancy words. Every magic user in the group, including me, and the Big Bad, all instantly lost their magic. On the plus side, the level 40 Big Bad became no more than a level 40 commoner. Being expedient, Trixie decided to not let the opportunity pass and have her character beat him to death with a marble bust she found nearby.”

“Well, that’s… incredible.” Redheart managed, at a loss of words. “I take it your friends weren’t please with your derailment?”

“The GM alone spent half an hour elaborating in vivid detail what I had wrought as a result – formerly magical kingdoms collapsing into war and chaos, the divine and demonic realms losing the medium to interact with mortals, angry mobs of former mages and sorcerers chasing our group around.” Trixie answered, slipping into first person again out of embarrassment. “On the other hoof, Psionic users became ascendant in the wake of Magic’s eclipse, and since Trixie’s character can use psionic power, she immediately became the group’s preeminent member, with the other members struggling to keep up without magic.”

“You can just reset the game…” Redheart suggested, then added, “And that doesn’t explain how you ended up getting hospitalized.”

“Resetting the game was what Twilight suggested. In fact, she outright ordered it to be done. The GM was mad, but nopony at the table was at infuriated as the Princess of Magic and Friendship herself.” Trixie noted, “The problem was, even after resetting to an earlier point in the campaign, and changing the rules to prevent a second Plane of Magic destruction, I did it again, three times in a row, somehow by complete accident. On the last occasion, I managed to destroy both the Plane of Magic AND Psionics. That was when Twilight went berserk.”

There was a rumble, and the hospital shook momentarily. Outside the ward room, Trixie and Nurse Redheart could hear the sound of a scuffle, collapsing masonry, and the Royal Canterlot Voice being used, filled with incoherent rage.

“I guess that also explained why they brought in Princess Twilight in a straitjacket and sent her straight to the psychiatric ward.” Nurse Redheart said, shaking her head, “I never seen anypony so angry over a board-game session before.”

“She’ll probably calm down… in a week.” Trixie said, shrugging despite the tight bandages on her body. “Trixie hopes the others bought insurance; Trixie doesn’t think she could pay for all their hospital bills…”

Session 16.15 Alex Warlorn

"Sounds like things worked out between Discord and Gilda," Said Mina, sitting in the place of her grandfather, picking up the relative tiny tiles.

"Well, she did have go to therapy. Like a lot of ponies did after Discord, there just weren't any professional psychologists to help her back in Griffinstone to help her before hoof." Princess Twilight said.

"Do we have to focus so much on the tough times?" Princess Trixie asked.

Princess Twilight smiled. "Trixie, I think you'd know better than any that the tough times are what help us appreciate the fun times. It's life."

"Princess Trixie is here to have a fun time, not think about the tough times."

"Heh, Trixie, we've been friends for over a thousand years, Celestia was right, you do look back at ALL those times fondly. It's not like it was suffering for suffering's sake. Helping Starlight through her problems, they made us stronger friends, and helping Starlight MADE ME HAPPY, because I know it made her happy."

"So uh... how do we collect and discard pieces again?" Princess Applejack asked. They'd been trying to get her to play for over a hundred years. "And this worth anythin'?"

She showed off her tiles... 13 of them... each one a different and unique one...

"Uh... yes... it is..." Princess Trixie said awkwardly.

Session 16.16 Mtangalion

"Hey," said a familiar, scratchy voice. "Sorry we're late." Gilda padded in, looming over Princess Rainbow beside her. Her tailtuft was a cool blue flame that left trails in the air wherever she swished it, and stars twinkled in her wings and crest. She wore a chef's hat and apron like others might wear a royal robe and crown. "So there I was, in the place with all the flying TV screens, only most folks didn't know what a TV was back then."

Princess Rainbow chuckled. "Don't you ever get tired of telling this story?"

"Do you ever get tired of bragging about your first rainboom? So Astra and Boreas wake up and Astra's all, 'Nogriffon even remembers us! I told you we should have incarnated and lived with the mortals.' And Boreas, he's mad about his idol falling in a big hole. Whoops."

Gilda coughed. "So then Boreas says, 'What great deeds have you accomplished, what mighty foes have you vanquished to be worthy of joining us?' And I told him..."

"I once made Lord Tirek repent of all his evil ways with a cherry tart," said Rainbow, imitating Gilda's voice. She snickered. "Too bad it didn't last."

"Hey!" squawked Gilda. "Who's telling this story? Anyway..." She waved her talons dramatically. "I knew that no mere cupcake or apple fritter was going to be enough to wow Boreas and win me that ascension. I'd have to pull out all the stops! I baked him my strawberry-topped cheesecake."

Princess Twilight smirked. "Is that what you were doing? You were gone so long, I thought we really had turned Old Gilda into a smudge on the floor."

Gilda wing-shrugged. "What can I say? Good things need time in the oven."

Session 16.17 Kendell2

The group sat around the table, preparing to start another game.

"So, what's the game this time, Spike?" asked Twilight, the group gathered around the table.

Spike seemed to have taken to reading a Power Ponies comic. "Well, I was thinking maybe we should try something different..." he said, putting the book down. "Remember those Enchanted Comics things?"

Twilight's eyes went wide. "No, no, no!"

"Oh come on, Twilight! I actually got the 'quit password' this time!" Spike explained, showing the back of the comic. Where it turned out said quit password was written in big bold red letters. "All we have to do to end it is say 'This adventure is fun, but I want to be done' and the thing is over. I even picked a comic with eight players! Besides, the guy at the store said that the villains are PROGRAMMED to not seriously hurt any of us. Kinda why Maneiac kept monologue so much."

Rainbow Dash looked at it. It was one of those comics where the Power Ponies teamed up with the Batmare to face a reunited League of Villainy lead by Maneiac. "...Well, I DID kinda like being a superhero..."

"I've never tried this before..." Starlight said. "But if you girls are okay with it. I kind of like Batmare...well now, I used to think it was unfair she had to play catch up with the other heroes..."

"Ah'm game," Applejack said. "Ah admit...weren't the worst time Ah ever had."

Rarity was neutral and Pinkie Pie was game for anything, Fluttershy was just okay with it.

"Alright, let's do it I guess..." Twilight said. "But if this backfires..."

"Don't worry, it'll be fine," Spike reassured and set the comic down. "You can return to the place you started when the villains are defeated. Take a closer look to join the adventure in this book..."

The book released a tornado of magic and promptly sucked the group into it, Pinkie Pie giving a 'WEEEEEEE!' while Starlight screamed.

Rainbow Dash stretched her wings, back in her Zapp costume. "Oh yeah, back to having supercharged pegasus powers!"

Starlight looked herself over, now in the iconic cape and cowl of Batmare. "So...this is absolutely safe?"

Spike nodded, as Hum Drum again. "Yeah, these are basically just glorified roleplaying games. Besides, we're the heroes in a comic book that's NOT titled 'Death of' or 'Final Something or other.' Guy at the comic store said if we are going to get hurt or die the comic will have us 'miraculously survive' or if you're 'supposed' to die, eject you when it was supposed to happen. Comic book logic."

"Alright..." said Twilight, as Masked Matter-Horn. She took a deep breath. "Let's have some fun I guess...And this time WITHOUT fearing for our lives."

"Yes, this will be far more enjoyable without the potential death," said Rarity, floating on a magically generated and fancy flying carpet. "I forgot how much I loved this magic!"

Session 16.18 Alex Warlorn

"Dear Cousin in law." Said Prince Blueblood to Prince Shining Armor. The two of them standing in the castle of the Crystal Empire. "Now that we've had a chance to bond. I say you'll agree that I should sit in on one of your games with the ogres and the dungeons."

"Yeeeeah, well I'm gonna say I don't agree." Shining Armor hadn't shaken that Blueblood was the type of pony who wasn't good at not getting their way.

"Oh, I think you'll remember I'm very good at getting ponies to agree while thinking it was their own idea."

"Yeah. Twiley told me how you got Rarity to 'agree' that you were a great date at the Grand Galloping Gala."

"..." Prince Blueblood cringed. "I.. think you'll find my track record is better when I'm speaking with those I consider my equal."

"Oh yeah?" SA spat. "Make me!"

As Pinkie Pie would say, one screen spin effect later.

"I'll be happy to have you play with us Blueblood, and I just want to say your coat looks great today." Shining Armor said.

"Thank you."

"HEY! Wait a minute! How'd you'd that?"

"I'm a very good diplomat."

Shining Armor asked. "Did your ancestors make a pact with some ancient dark entity or something!?"

Princess Luna appeared in a swirl of darkness. "Well, 'pact' is not the term used these days our sister inform us. And it's not polite to refer to a lady as 'ancient.'"

"Thank you for the carriage Princess Luna."

"At least you USE yours, Celly never does. Nor do you Shining Armor."

Shining Armor groaned. "Look, I just like using my own legs instead of being carried around."

"Yes dear, keep saying how being carried around by ponies is a sign of being spoiled." Princess Cadence said right behind her husband.

Shining Armor turned to find his wife on a couch, having entered the beached whale stage of pregnancy, and being carried by four royal guards. The magic that was lifting the whip cream and daisies Cadence was eating was glowing from her belly.

Behind Cadence, a crystal filly happily threw around flower pedals as four beautiful crystal mares carried around Spike on a roamare style couch with Crystal Ponies behind him on their rear leg knees raising and lowering their front legs while chant a hymn in his honor.

"This even AFTER the mess up with the Cloudsdale anthem?" SA asked.

"Many crystal ponies weren't present to see that," Cadence said. "They only heard of the Great Spike saving everypony AGAIN when their prince and Princess could do nothing. Speaking of which-" Cadence brought out a paper and quill and began writing next to a stack of envelopes.

"What is THAT?" Shining asked.

"Just apology letters to every unicorn who attended the Equestrian Games."

"What?!"

"Since we only put in security measures against unicorns cheating, sealing away their magic while inside, and not doing the same to pegasi, or earth ponies, or changelings, or dragons, there were some very angry letters sent to the Equestrian Games committee, and some pointing out that several ponies almost died from the 'precautions' to prevent cheating. So... as the ruler of the Crystal Empire, I'm having to write apology letters to every unicorn who attended."

"Oh."

"So you throw the dice at the ogre?" Blueblood asked.

Shining Armor felt the headache coming on.

Session 16.19 Mtangalion

Shining asked. "Sis, could you hurry up with that Alicornification spell? Cadence is talking about turning me into a dragon!"

The pregnant Cadence smiled. "But dragons are so popular in the Empire now, and so long lived, and you and Spike are brothers already and you could be even closer this way..."

Session 16.20 Ardashir with edits

Chrysalis, was visiting on another of her 'state visits' (read, games of O&O) and looking closely at Cadence's bulging belly.

Chrysalis grinned. "Heh, just wait until she's born and you never get a night's sleep for the next three years. That's why I always hoof mine off to Changeling nursemaids. They turn out better that way. Look at this picture of one of my sons." Chrysalis showed the royal couple a picture of a horribly obese and near-feral Changeling nymph with his fangs sunk into the flank of a screaming nursemaid as she ran around the room.

Cadence shuddered. "Must we?"

Chrysalis nodded. "Of course!" The changeling queen leaned in close speaking to Cadence's foal. "You might as well see who's going to be taking your little crystal kingdom away from you in a few years --"

Cadence's side bulges as the foal within kicks, using magic to send Chrysalis flying into the wall.

Cadence gasped. "WOW! Just feel that kick! She's going to be -- OOF! -- pretty strong, darling."

Shining Armor nuzzled her and said smugly, "No surprise, look who her parents are."

Chrysalis grumbled as she peeled herself off the wall. "She's not even born yet and I already hate her!"

Session 16.21 Alex Warlorn

Getting mining rights for the various Diamond Dog packs in Yakyakistan had been nothing sort of a nightmare for the Diamond Dog lawyers. The Yaks' short temper was nothing compared to their love of getting physical. Something that diamond dog lawyers were of the wrong 'caste' to be effective at.

"How Blue Blooded Pony get Yaks to sign treaty in two days! We stuck here for week and still no signature!" Rambled one Diamond Dog.

"Can I help at all Uncle?" Asked a little scrappy little great dane Diamond Dog.

The Diamond Dog lawyer loathed his nephew, most for the fact he existed and insisted in being the middle of everything... though... if some 'accident' happened to the Yaks, his sister couldn't hold him responsible now could he?

"Why yes you can! The Yaks wish to challenge one of us to a no holds barge game of Yak Chess match of pain! Perhaps you could enter in your poor uncle's place?"

"YES UNCLE! OH THANK YOU!"

Heh, they'd been holding back the runt from getting into fights ever since he'd been dumped on em.

Five minutes later, the pup came back. "Uncle! I have won!"

"..... ..... .... WHAT?!?!?"

"Oh Uncle first I tied them up with their own limbs. Then honorably accept their surrender when they began screaming for mercy as per the rules."

The elder Diamond Dog fainted.

Session 16.22 Mtangalion

"Where is it!?" growled Cadence, like a mare possessed. "I want a triple banana split with mayonnaise, cream cheese, and extra chili powder!"

Gilda flew down the hallways of Twilight's crystal castle, reckless, but safer than carrying a tray and running with three legs. "Got it... hold your horses... hehe..."

Shining Armor grabbed the tray from the panting griffon and floated it into Cadence's room. "Thanks! You're a lifesaver."

"So, about this cooking contest," asked Gilda, while trying to catch her breath.

Shining got a guilty look. "Oh. Yeah, that... Technically, you've probably already won."

Gilda blinked, clearly skeptical. "Um... You do know, I'm not that great a chef yet. Not that anygriff would know the difference if I screwed up..." She made a face, feathers ruffling up. "Apple brownies with ketchup..."

Shining Armor coughed awkwardly. "Well, Gustave le Grand shouted that this whole thing was a crime against the culinary arts, before he threw his apron in my face and left."

"He's not wrong," grumbled Gilda. "Ugh, I wanted to ask him for some tips!"

Shining continued, "Donut Joe was overwhelmed by the fumes in the kitchen, and he's in Ponyville General now. All our royal chefs from the Empire went to a salt-lick bar and won't come out, and Pinkie Pie forgot and tasted one of the dishes she was making."

From around a corner, there came the sound of a pony being spectacularly sick. "I'm okay!" said Pinkie's bubbly cheerful voice. "Just gimme a min- bleeergh!"

"I want a tuna, grape jelly, and cinnamon sandwich!" bellowed Cadence.

"Cooking contest my flank... I see how it is!" Gilda smirked. "Well, if I'm the winner by default, then I guess I'm done here! Seeya!"

"Wait, no!" cried Shining, grasping her forelegs and begging. "Stay, at least until I get my chefs back! You'll have the eternal gratitude of the Crystal Empire!"

"It's pretty sweet," said Spike, turning over so a cute Crystal pony maid could massage his back scales.

Session 16.21 Kendell2

"You're kidding, right?" Adagio questioned, the siren-turned human standing in front of the human Twilight and Sunset Shimmer. "You want us to help take care of Miss Brainac here's sister-in-laws' freaky demands."

"And to maybe answer some questions from me?" Human Twilight asked.

"I'd be okay with it..." said Sonata in her normal ditzy way.

"They broke our gem, Sonata," Aria added, bitterly.

Sunset sighed. Twilight needed help, and the others were either busy or not game. Cadence seemed to have gotten a little out of hand. "Look, I don't like you and I KNOW you three don't like me."

"You've got that right," Aria replied.

"...What do you want?" Sunset asked, seriously.

Adagio opened her mouth.

"EXCEPT help getting your gems back," Sunset replied. "Or anything ELSE evil."

Adagio's mouth shut.

"...Tacos?" Sonata asked, getting Adagio to glare. "What? I like tacos!"

Aria looked to the side, then stepped forwards. "...Time back in Equestria's oceans. For at least twelve hours. Can you arrange that, Bacon Hair?"

Adagio snarled. "You don't get to make the choices, Aria!" Adagio screamed.

Aria, for once, stood up and looked the elder siren in the eyes. "And look how well that's turned out for us!"

Adagio actually backed up as Aria poked her in the chest.

"YOU chose to attack Equestria and get us banished! YOU said Celestia would be no problem and STARSWIRL, who was WEAKER than her, beat us! YOU chose to attack Canterlot High and got our gems destroyed! YOU called the shots for the last several thousand years and all it's gotten us is worse and worse off!"

Adagio was actually backed up against a wall...she couldn't help being scared at how angry Aria looked.

Sonata for once STOPPED looking ditzy and out of it.

"You're our big sister, you're supposed to take care of us, ya know! But no, all you've done is make our lives TARTARUS! So why should I ever listen to a thing you say?!"

Adagio...looked strangely thoughtful. "...Aria..."

Aria turned, crossing her arms. "Let's face it...we lost. They won...we've got nothing left...I just want to go home...at least for a few hours...WITHOUT us getting thrown right back over here the moment we get spotted...Don't you miss the ocean too?"

The oldest Siren's face was unreadable. "...Fine...Just this once."

Aria nodded, then looked to Sunset Shimmer, who's jaw had dropped in shock. "So, is it a deal?"

Sunset shook off her shock. "I'll...see what I can do. But no funny business."

"We swear to King Leo..." Aria said, then looked to the other two. "Right?"

"...I swear..." Adagio said simply. "Besides, how hard can it be to give a woman some food?"

"So do I!" Sonata said, somehow seeming bubblier than normal. "I can't wait to have gills again!"

"Where is it!?" growled Cadence, no less manic than her pony equal. "I want a triple banana split with mayonnaise, cream cheese, and extra chili powder!"

Adagio growled, covered in whip cream and other strange ingredients. The only benefit of this was the negativity of Cadence was a decent meal, though to Adagio's annoyance the destruction of their gems prevented them from actually gaining extra strength from it. It was like sucking food through a straw. "Aria! It's your turn!"

"So...you're sisters?" Sunset asked, playing Monopoly with Sonata, Twilight, and Shining Armor.

"Yeah, we used to have two more, but they didn't make it," said Sonata, getting sad for like two seconds. "We had a mother and aunt too."

"...So, you're a magical fish-horse monster from another dimension?" Shining Armor questioned, not nearly as surprised as one would normally expect after finding out his sister turned into a power-mad magical creature and nearly destroyed the world.

"The technical term is Hippocampus, Shining," Twilight pointed out.

"We're actually magically mutated sea ponies..." Sonata explained. "Oh! I got another set!" she said, buying another area and getting a full set of areas.

"...Why are you so good at this?" Sunset questioned.

"I don't know!" Sonata said simply, with a goofy grin.

Aria trotted past Adagio with Cadence's order. Adagio was annoyed that her sister was still smiling.

"What are YOU smiling about?" Adagio asking.

"Because to me? It's worth it," Aria said with a content smirk.

Session 16.22 Ardashir with edits

"Ugh! Little one, why can't you just teleport out or something?" Cadence kicked on her bed, feeling the foal move within her. She fell silent as her belly rumbled. "Shining! I'M STILL HUNGRY! MORE FOOD!"

"Woah!" Spike snatched up the deck of cards sitting between him and Cadence. Right now he was the only being in the entire Crystal Empire brave enough to play games with the increasingly ill-tempered Cadence. "Geeze, be careful, Princess. You almost knocked the cards over."

"I don't care!" Cadence snapped. She licked her lips. "I'm getting so hungry... such cravings. Even for..."

Cadence looked at Spike and her eyes widened at a mental image of Spike on a crystal tray, surrounded by onions and with an apple in his mouth.

"Ohhh, Spiiiike..." Cadence smiled toothily at him. She lightly tapped her hoof against the platter at her side. "Could you get on this, please?"

"Huh?" Spike shrugged. "Sure, okay." He hopped up on it. "Now what -- YOW!"

A few moments later the Crystal Ponies blinked to see their national hero Spike racign down the hallway, shrieking, "AHHHH! CADENCE WANTS TO EAT ME! THE FANFICCERS ARE RIGHT!"

Shining Armor awoke with a start. He turned to see his wife, still heavy with their first foal due any time now, but for now sleeping peacefully.

"Whatever comes after once they're out of Cadence, can't be worse than this," Shining Armor said. Derpy visiting the crystal empire, made a nearby thundercloud crackle ominously.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PONY POV SERIES THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

Session 16.0 Alex Warlorn
Session 16.1 Alex Warlorn
Session 16.2 Mtangalion
Session 16.3 Alex Warlorn
Session 16.4 BrutalityInc
Session 16.5 Mtangalion
Session 16.6 Ardashir
Session 16.7 Kendell2
Session 16.8 Mooncalf99
Session 16.9 Mooncalf99
Session 16.10 Alex Warlorn
Session 16.11 Mtangalion
Session 16.12 Alex Warlorn
Session 16.13 Mtangalion
Session 16.14 BrutalityInc
Session 16.15 Alex Warlorn
Session 16.16 Mtangalion
Session 16.17 Kendell2
Session 16.18 Alex Warlorn
Session 16.19 Mtangalion
Session 16.20 Ardashir with edits
Session 16.21 Alex Warlorn
Session 16.22 Mtangalion
Session 16.21 Kendell2
Session 16.22 Ardashir with edits

Cover art by astarothathros

Session 17 Part 1

Session 17.0 Mooncalf99

"...And the guy shouts, 'Better Nate than Lever!'" Pinkie Pie concluded.

Trixie looked at the pink maniac quizzically for several seconds. "Sorry, I don't get it."

"Yeah, you're probably right. The joke is actually really, really long… and kind of meandering… and actually not that funny," Pinkie admitted. "I was hoping I could just jump straight to the punch line, but it looks like it didn't work."

"No, no it didn't," Trixie said. "But I can see how you were thinking, and it was worth a try, at least. Comedy is very hit and miss, after all."

Pinkie nodded. "You understand perfectly. Of course, you would, seeing as you're in the performing business as well. And isn't it odd that a connection like that is never ever explored in the stories? I blame unimaginative writers, myself."

"Mmm-hmm," Trixie said with noncommittal nod. She didn't know what the filly was getting on about this time, but her experiences with the Pie Clan - all of them mad as hatters - had taught her that the best way of dealing with their idiosyncracies was not dealing with them. "That is a crying shame, indeed. Heads up, Starlight's coming to the end of her speech."

"And so I say, cast off your shackles!" Starlight declared passionately. "Free yourself from oppression! Let no tyrants hold you back with their vile dogma of superiority and authority! Let us unite under the bonds of commonality and equality, and together we can create a truly equal community where nopony stands separate, above or below!" She took several deep breaths, having nearly exhausted herself.

"Are you done?" Twilight asked. "I'm just asking in case you have more prepared, but that sounded like a finishing point."

"I'm… I'm done, yes," Starlight said, a little hoarse. She took a deep swig from her soda to soothe her dried-out throat. "So do I have to make a roll now? I can add my plus two Burning Passion knack to this, right? And the speech gives me a bonus?"

"Make a Cool roll," Twilight said. "You're trying to impress them with your spirited personality. And yes, your knack applies, and you get a plus three from the speech as well."

"Not more?" Starlight asked. "I think I did well. I worked really hard on that speech!"

"Three," Twilight repeated.

Starlight frowned. "But I used a professional technique that--"

"Starlight," Twilight interrupted. "I don't want any quibbling over my decisions at the table. I'll be happy to discuss my reasons later if you want, but now is not the time, okay? We've taken up enough time as is."

Starlight turned red. "Sorry."

"It's fine, but look," Twilight said, gesturing to the other players. Trixie and Pinkie were doodling on their sheets, Gilda was leafing through a cookbook, and Rainbow Dash could just barely be seen behind several tall stacks of dice. "Dice stacking, Starlight. A sure sign of bored players. We don't want that, do we?"

"No, no, go on with your… stuff," Rainbow said, placing a twelve-sider on top of another pile. "We'll be here all night at this rate, but hey."

"Okay, okay…" She threw her own die with more force than she had intended, and it bounced against Trixie's hayshake and ricocheted into a stray pirate figure, which flew into the Rainbow Towers and sent them crashing to the ground. "Oops, sorry! Sorry, sorry… argh!" She stared at her own die, which showed a single bold mark. "Aw, that's dice karma for you, I guess?"

"There's no such thing as dice karma, Starlight," Twilight said.

"Speak for yourself, Princess," Gilda said, slapping away Rainbow's reaching hoof from her own dice. This was the third set she'd bought, and she'd be plucked before she let these get contaminated like the others.

"Still, ten," Starlight said. "Is that enough to sway them?"

"We'll see…" Twilight said ambiguously. She nudged a pirate figure with her magic. "One of the pirates speaks up. 'So you're basically saying that we should let you become captain, girlie?'"

"Why, of course not," Starlight said her most pleasantly. "I will of course be happy to aid and guide you in your new life, but my friends and I will stand on equal grounds with you. There will be no need for anypony to be the captain."

"You know, I don't remember the point where the rest of us agreed to join their crew," Trixie pointed out.

"Are you seriously saying you don't want to become a pirate?" Gilda said. "In fact, why aren't we pirates already?"

"Because we're underage?" Trixie suggested. "I mean, technically, at least. I'm a couple of billion years old, you were hatched last month, but neither of us gets into bars anyway. That's practically a requirement for piracy."

"It's a lot of fun," Pinkie said. "Being a pirate, I mean. Not getting into bars. Or I guess that's fun too, but… pirates, yeah? I wonder what Hoofbeard's doing right now." She paused. "Funny, I could've sworn that was a prompt for a brief and ironic scene change."

"'No captain?'" Twilight-as-pirate said in shock. Several of the figures bounced around a little, as if having a hubbub over this revelation. "'Outrageous! There always be a captain, girlie!'"

"Why?" Starlight said, getting frustrated. She was sure that Twilight wasn't trying to mock her beliefs - she understood and sympathized with Starlight's plight well enough even if she didn't agree fully, that much had been made clear since Starlight took up residence here - but apparently she was playing up the pirates' stubbornness and thickheadedness. Then again, since their heads were plastic and could be removed without serious harm, maybe that was to be expected. "Why do you need to have a captain? All she does is push you around, make you fight and work, and take most of your plunder!"

"'Aye, that he does,'" Twilight agreed. "'An' when I take 'er down an' become captain, I be gettin' the good stuff!'"

Starlight blinked in surprise. "When… you become captain?"

"'It's the pirate way, girlie,'" Twilight continued with a confident grin. "'A captain be the captain only for as long as they can hold their own. All'a us dream o' bein' captain.'"

"Even though it just makes you a target to everypony else?" Starlight said skeptically.

Twilight shrugged. "'It be the pirate way.'"

"I see…" Starlight sighed in defeat. "I can't argue against that, I guess. Besides, a society where everypony has an equal chance to become the leader… I guess that is equality, in a way…"

"You did really well, but that bad roll meant they weren't quite convinced to agree after all," Twilight said soothingly. Truth be told, she wasn't entirely keen on letting Starlight have an entire pirate crew - she was still coming to terms with herself, and that kind of authority could easily get to a pony's head if they weren't prepared for it (it was the same reason she permitted neither Rarity nor Trixie to take the Leadership feat in O&O), which in Starlight's case might undo weeks of friendship therapy.
Still, Twilight was at the same time an ardent believer in playing the dice as they fell. If Starlight had rolled high enough…

"So what happens now?" Starlight asked.

"'Now ye all be thrown in the brig, ye filthy planet-lubbers!'" A new figure barged into the playing field, held aloft in a pale pink aura. It wore a wide-brimmed hat with feathers in it, and had extra long legs thanks to the extra lego pieces stuck to the bottom of its hooves. "'Tryin' ta subvert me crew with yer alien propaganda? I'll see ye keelhauled in deep space! So say the Dread Pirate Plasmabeard!'"

Five pairs of eyes turned to Trixie. "What?" The unicorn said. "All this talking is getting boring! Besides, do you really think the captain's just going to sit around forever while we pull shenanigans on his ship?"

"Okay, but… 'Plasmabeard'? Seriously, Trixie?" Twilight asked. "I could have sworn I used female pronouns for the captain."

"It's a traditional name theme," Trixie said with a shrug. "I guess she could still have a beard. Somewhere. But seriously, why do every GM have to make every important NPC female?"

"Huh? I don't do that," Twilight said. "I mean, sure, I used Luna and Celestia as references for Agent L and the princi-- wait, forget that last one, you don't know that yet."

"Eh, just seems like a thing," Trixie said. "At least you're not like that GM I played with in Manehattan once. She gave stallion characters a minus two to strength to compensate for, quote, 'the ability to sire foals'."

"That… makes no sense," Twilight said in disbelief. "Whatever. We have a fight scene to do. Girls?"

"About freakin' time," Gilda said. "Could you make 'em a little tougher this time? I want a challenge."

"Hmm," Starlight mused. A grin spread across her face. "Just so we're clear on this… whoever defeats Captain Plasmabeard gets to be the new captain, right?"

Twilight stared. A chill ran down her spine suddenly. "Actually, you know what? Why don't you all take a break and get something to eat? I need to go over my notes."

Session 17.1 Kendell2

"Wait..." Trixie said, back in the pirate manega RPG. "So the town we stopped in turned out to be a hive of bounty hunters?!"

Twilight nodded. "And they spiked your drinks with salt, so only Rainbow Dash is currently conscious due to how high her salt and alcohol tolerance is."

"Well we ARE pirates, aren't we?" Rainbow Dash asked. "You'd think that'd be a skill that came with being them."

"So until we get the right rolls to wake up, it's Rainbow Dash vs an entire town of Bounty Hunters?" Applejack asked.

"Good thing we level ground," said Rainbow. "So, what am I up against?"

"They're all members of the next module's main antagonist's crime syndicate," Twilight explained. "There are one hundred, but 96 of them are just foot soldiers barely above your average rank and file Marine with four mini bosses and two actual bosses on their way."

"So Dyneighsty Warriors style? Got it," Rainbow remarked. "Can't be any more dangerous than Cadence's cravings."

"Um, excuse me," said Starlight. "But I never drank anything."

Twilight blinked. "What?"

"One, in real life I'm a good enough manipulator myself to know when something is off," Starlight replied. "And two, my character was more interested in researching the town than hedonism. In fact I think I won a 'research roll' when we arrived, couldn't I have found something?"

Twilight gave an annoyed sigh. "...Uh..." she did the proper number crunching. "...Yes, that's right."

"Alright, so me and Starlight vs 100 bounty hunters?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Sounds like fun. Try to wake up before the real bosses show up, okay?"

Trixie grumbled in annoyance. "Spotlight stealer."

"Hey, you're the one who got to beat up the big bads so far!" replied Rainbow Dash.

"Point taken..."

Session 17.2 Alex Warlorn

"HIT THE FLOOR!" Screamed one royal guard to a crystal guard as they both dove for the illusionary safety of the carpet.

"What madness tis this!? Has Tirek escape Tartarus?! Has Chrysalis made another attack? Has Sombra risen from the dead again?" Princess Luna demanded who was interrupting her beauty sleep.

"It's Princess Cadence!"

"Why is our niece visiting Canterlot when she could be due for birth at any time?"

"She wanted cake!"

".... And she heard of our sister's private Cake Room?"

"Y-yes-s!"

"And our sister learned one was trying to pilfer her precious pastries from her?"

"YES!!!"

"And our sister responded as a dragon would to have one gold cup from their horde stolen... And Cadence, tis in no mood to be reasoned with... "

"YES! YES YES YES YES!" The entire castle shook.

Princess Luna shouted. "SCRIPE! SCRIPE! ... Right, they need to sleep too! BLUE BLOOD!"

"NO AUNTIE!!!"

"Biologically speaking we are actually- never mind! No! I am not asking you to throw your life away to be caught between your cousin and aunt's crossfire... I want you to send word to Princess Twilight Sparkle, and help her organize Equestria's First Royal Princess Cake Eating Contest ... NOW HURRY! The fate of Canterlot depends on ye!"

"'Ye' isn't really in style anymore auntie."

"MOVE THY BUM!"

"Yes Auntie."

Session 17.3 MtangaLion

Princess Twilight trotted into the Ponyville schoolhouse and placed a bundle of scrolls on Miss Cheerilee's podium. "Hello, girls!" She cringed just a bit, giving an apologetic smile to Diamond Tiara and Apple Bloom. "Sorry, that came out all weird. Thanks for staying after class for a few minutes."

"Howdy, Miss Twilight," said Apple Bloom.

"Hello, Princess," said Diamond from her own desk, a little sheepish. "Is this about the math test?"

Twilight grinned. "You got a perfect score, Diamond. Not only that, but you were absolutely right about those missing debits in your family account books. Your father was very proud... although he was concerned about a few things too. Two hundred fifty one plus three hundred twelve... Apple Bloom?"

Apple Bloom tilted her head, puzzled, but she rattled off, "Five hundred an sixty-three. What kinda things, Miss Twilight?"

The Princess tapped a hoof to her chin. "Well... for one thing, we need to study this phenomenon scientifically. There's a lot we still don't understand. Ninety-eight times seventy-seven, Diamond?"

"Seven thousand five hundred forty-six," said Diamond. "Hmph, too easy."

"What's there ta understand?" asked Apple Bloom. "Numbers are easy when ya work with apples." She nodded cheerfully. "It makes perfect sense."

Twilight's smile slipped. "What? No it doesn't! How does any of this make sense? There are too many unknowns!"

Diamond Tiara jumped in her seat. "Finally! I could hug you right now! Um... except Ah'm not gonna. Cause that would be weird."

Twilight twitched. "Er, what did you just say?" She glanced down at her notes. "Seventy-seven cubed."

"Four hundred fifty-six thousand, five-hundred thirty-three," said Apple Bloom helpfully.

Diamond looked away grumpily. "I said, I'm not going to hug you. I'm just glad that *somepony* understands that this isn't normal! Ah mean, it happened to *me* and Ah still don't understand it!"

"Right," stammered Twilight. "Magic may play by different rules, but it *does* have rules. We need to study whether this 'math genius' effect is tied to Sweet Apple Acres specifically, or apple cultivation anywhere. How much and what kind of exposure is required? Does it work only in earth ponies, or anypony? I've already made a huge list of possible factors."

Twilight magically leafed through her scrolls and picked out one to take notes on. "So, Diamond, have you continued to work at the Apple farm? Square root of three hundred."

Diamond didn't answer that one right away. "Um... seventeen... ish?"

Apple Bloom put a supportive hoof on Diamond's shoulder. "Seventeen point three two."

"Oh, right! Thanks! Um... I kind of stopped studying when math got so easy, and I was afraid that if I stopped working on the farm, Ah'd lose it all and flunk the test... but it ain't so bad, really! Just a half hour after school most days, and Apple Bloom's there too and we do it together!"

"Interesting," said Twilight, scribbling more notes. "I notice that you're wearing your hair differently."

Diamond Tiara blinked. "Since when?" She dug a compact out of her saddlebag and nearly shrieked at her reflection. "A ponytail? My hair's been in a ponytail *all day* and nopony told me? How..." The pink filly blinked a couple times, and facehoofed. "I forgot... Shiny Star was taking so long to style it this morning, I just told her to hurry up and make it look okay so I could go... meet up with my friends."

Apple Bloom grinned. "Looks fine ta me!"

Diamond glared at her, but giggled, unable to keep a straight face. "It would!"

Twilight nodded. "Well, then... Oh my gosh! Is that a bug in your coat?"

Diamond really did shriek this time. "Where is it? Get it off!"

Twilight thrust a small, glowing green lamp at the fillies. "Here, this enchanted lantern will help you find it!"

Diamond searched both of her flanks, frowning. "I can't find any bug. Are you sure you saw one?"

Twilight trotted over to them. "Maybe it was a trick of the light... but if there was a bug, this powder will be sure to drive it away!" She magically tossed a pinch of glittering powder at them.

Apple Bloom sneezed. "Twilight! You got it on me too!"

"Well, that's another theory down," muttered Twilight, returning to the podium and making a check mark on a scroll.

Apple Bloom, meanwhile, was getting a crafty, suspicious look. "Hey, Miss Twilight! Eighteen percent of seven hundred and five!"

"What!?" cried Twilight, scrolls flying everywhere. "It's... Hold on, I've got this..." She closed her eyes, screwing her face up in concentration. "One hundred twenty six... point nine!" She blinked. "Wait a minute..."

Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara stamped their hooves in applause anyway, laughing. "Is there still time ta help at the farm?" asked Diamond.

Apple Bloom laughed. "Oh, there's always more chores waitin'. Come on!"

Twilight nodded, letting the fillies go on their way, then turned to Cheerilee, who had been listening outside. "Let's not go planting apple trees in the schoolyard just yet."

Miss Cheerilee sighed. "As wonderful as it would be to teach calculus to the whole class instead of just Apple Bloom... and now Diamond Tiara... I agree."

Session 17.4 Alex Warlorn

Octavia, PON-3, and their circle of friends were at Lyra's house, playing Harmony The Gather. PON-3 had provided most of the cards and thus was dominating them. Then Octavia glare her a glare and instead began to help the others through it learning how to actually play the game.

Lyra said, "Too bad some of these creatures couldn't be real." Lyra said looking at a human on the card game picture.

Octavia said, "Personally, I'm glad things like vampires aren't really some secret society of blood suckers who have lived in the shadows of Pony Civilization since forever... "

PON-3 raised an eyebrow.

"I just mean... Changelings. The Crystal Empire. Nightmare Moon. The Equalists, no offense Suri."

"None taken. And call me Buttons." Princess Twilight had insisted that she interact with other Ponyville locals to help build up her free will and individual identity.

Right. I just think this world has enough conspiracies as it is. It doesn't need more."

Bon Bon blushed and hid a little more behind her cards.

Session 17.5 Alex Warlorn

Twilight still wasn't sure how Fluttershy had talked her into play a game of Bunnies and Borrows with her, Suri, and Angel. But at least it would be a chance to see how Suri acted without Glimmer there, and in a non-pony environment type game. After all, who social political intricacies could pop up role playing as RABBITS?

Before Suri arrived and Angel was outside, Fluttershy asked out of the blue. "Twilight, as a hypothetical question, would it matter to you, let me rephrase that to what it actually means: to our friendship, would it matter if I was a changeling? And always had been one? And had always been Fluttershy?"

Twilight blinked she asked. "Would you have known anything about Chrysalis' scheme?" This was rather out of the blue, but Twilight saw no reason to play along, they were here to role-play after all.

"No."

"Would you have been working for Chrysalis?"

"No."

"Then Tartarus NO! It WOULDN'T! Not now, not ever!"

"So it wouldn't matter to you?"

"You asked if it would matter to our FRIENDSHIP! And it WOULDN'T! I'm friends with apes from another universe! A changeling is TAME compared to that! Yes it would matter to ME because you'd be a wealth of information on changeling culture and on changelings who have peacefully assimilated into Pony culture! Compared to Kevin who doesn't talk much no matter how many times I to talk to him. He says he just doesn't like to talk about it. It would also mean I'd have to look out for you as a friend, because of Chrysalis likely wanting to 'reward' changelings who don't buy into her 'ponies are just walking love batteries' propaganda. So I would have to protect you. And since it's something you clearly want to keep private, I'd have keep an eye out for that from now on."

"Even if I technically lied on my taxes when I filled out my type on my tax forum? And therefore I broke the law and committed a federal offense and should be punished?"

"That... is complicated. Besides the fact you clearly identify yourself GREATLY as a pegasus, or you'd have adopted a new identity as a earth pony by now. Which would mean leaving all your friends. Also, realistically speaking, when a changeling transforms, and you do a medical scan, you detect the type of pony they're hiding as, they'd have never infiltrated Canterlot if they couldn't get past that. So technically when you shape change you ARE biologically a pegasus. So Fluttershy, it would NOT change our friendship, and I'd have to be some kind of racist idiot to report you for what you were born as... uh... you aren't a changeling are you? I just want to know if I should get you a weight watchers book next Hearts and Hooves."

"No. That was completely hypothetical."

"Okay then."

"Hi my equal friends! I'm here so we can equally contribute to the borrow's greater good!" Suri cheered hopping in, wearing costume bunny ears.

Angel marched in after her, rolling his eyes at her props.

(To Be Continued)

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Session 17.0 Mooncalf99
Session 17.1 Kendell2
Session 17.2 Alex Warlorn
Session 17.3 MtangaLion
Session 17.4 Alex Warlorn
Session 17.5 Alex Warlorn

Cover art by lightningtumble

(To be continued.)

Session 17 Part 2

Session 17.6 BrutalityInc

It was game night for Shining Armor in the Canterlot High Universe, and for this session, he was bringing in two extra guests.

“I’m glad that you would be joining us.” Shining Armor said to his sister, as Sunset Shimmer and his sister, Canterlot High world Twilight, followed him to where Shining’s game group is playing their session. “Mother was relief that you are no longer cooped up in your lab anymore, but she’s still bugging me to get out more and socialize with more people than her new circle of friends. She thinks that playing MMORPG games doesn’t count as a social event.”

“Well, here’s hoping that playing tabletop RPG games counts as one in her eyes.” Sunset Shimmer remarked as they walked up some stairs, “It’s too bad that the rest of the gang couldn’t come tonight. But then again, we all have a life beyond playing games…”

“And we all should have life beyond our work, or research in my case…” Human Twilight sighed, “Of course, after seeing, touching and analysing the real deal, playing a sorceress who wields magic in a tabletop game just seems to pale in comparison…”

Shining Armor shrugged. “Well, no big loss there. Truth be told, even though I know now that magic is real, I still think it’s kind of overrated.”

“What?!” Twilight exclaimed, incredulous, “How can you say that, big brother? A few moments through a magical portal to Equestria turned Spike, our world’s Spike, into an intelligent puppy who has full command of human language, even though he didn’t even have the brain size for sapience, let alone ever read a book!”

“Not to mention, we have been using magic to pummel magical monsters in the past.” Sunset Shimmer reminded, careful not to mention Twilight and her own previous transformations into demonic monsters via dark magic, lest it reopen old wounds.

“Well, you got me on the first one, Twi,” Shining admitted, opening a door, “As for the second, believe me, Sunset, there are other ways to pummel magical monsters…”

There was something in that statement that sent a chill down Sunset’s spine.

They entered the room where they were holding the tabletop game session. As expected of any respectable tabletop game rooms for nerds, graphs, maps and figurines covered the table, tabletop game magazines, old pizza boxes and beverage cans were piled up in a corner, and extravagant sci-fi and fantasy posters covered the walls and even the roof.

Canterlot High world’s Gizmo, Gaffer and 8-Bit were already here and set everything up. As they walked in, they could just hear the discussion they had amongst themselves while they waited for them.

“I only work to support my hobby. If I have to choose between work and hobby, I’ll naturally choose hobby!” Gizmo declared.

“Wait, Gizmo, when did we started talking about your hobby?” Gaffer asked, scratching his hair with his right hand.

“I… don’t know. I guess we just drifted off-topic.” Gizmo said, shrugging. Seeing them walking in, he and the other two greeted their friend and guests, “Hail one and all, Shining and Twi! And please to meet you, Ms Sunset. It’s good to meet you in person for once instead of over the computer screen. Welcome to our Adventure Dungeon!”

“We’re in the attic room.” Sunset pointed out.

“Well, ‘dungeon’ sounded better…” 8-Bit admitted. Then asked, “So you’ll be joining our game tonight?”

“What kind of game were you playing exactly?” Sunset asked, recalling Shining Armor’s peculiar statement.

“A recently published game that I got from the store.” Gizmo said, handing her a gamebook. “I’ve heard that it was based on that Anime that has been getting popular recently. Let’s just say the concept behind it is… a bit out of the ordinary, to say the least.”

The two girls eyed it curiously. Twilight was the first to ask, “Why is there a picture of an orc with an axe facing a modern human soldier with a bayonetted assault rifle on its cover?”

“It’s all to do with the premise.” Shining Armor began, “Basically: One day, out of the blue, a portal appeared in the middle of a modern city. Out from it poured a whole army of warriors and creatures straight from a fantasy world, who proceeded to pillage and terrorize the city with impunity.”

Both Twilight and Sunset paled at this horrible scenario.

“That’s horrible, a whole HORDE of evil monsters and mages?!” Sunset Shimmer gasped. She and Princess Twilight, together with the rest of this world’s Mane Six, had fought hard against the Sirens and barely won. She shuddered to imagine what a whole army of those creatures would do with their magic, rampaging across Canterlot High, the city, than the rest of the world.

“Is one of those games where monsters from another dimension invade Earth and we play as characters desperately fighting to survive?” This world’s Twilight asked. She isn’t entirely ignorant of videogames and other forms of media, if generally uninterested.

“Come on, who plays that sort of stuff anymore? The ‘Only magic can defeat magic’ trope is clichéd as heck these days.” 8-Bit commented, slightly incensed. “Is it a rule somehow that the modern world and modern technology must always be portrayed as helpless in the face of the supernatural, utterly dependent on some small group of magical guardians for safety and survival?”

“No, and let me finish, 8-Bit, because I was just getting to the twist.” Gizmo admonished, before continuing, “Actually, what happened was that later that day, they were driven back through the portal by the police force and the army, the latter whom systematically annihilated most of the invading forces and liberated the city in short-order. That day became what was known as the ‘Portal Incident’. The portal itself, strangely enough, was left open.”

“Okay... I didn’t see that coming.” Twilight muttered.

“That’s actually kind of obvious.” Gaffer commented bluntly, “I mean, we’re talking about an invading army from a standard fantasy world, which would be medieval at best. How well do you think knights with swords, men-at-arms with spears, archers with bow-and arrow, and whatever monsters they brought would fare, facing a technologically modern military force armed with tanks, assault-rifle touting infantry, jet fighters and cruise missiles?”

“With around a thousand years’ worth of disparity between technology and warfare experience? It’s going to be a bloodbath.” Shining Armor answered. Given he is the group’s military enthusiast, with an encyclopaedic knowledge of military history, tactics and ordinance, his opinion carried weight. “Do you think they would have even heard of something called ‘Beyond-Visual-Range’ warfare, for example? Everything would be like magic to them, their power like the wrath of the gods. Despite the internet, most people seemed to be ignorant of what our modern age military hardware and capabilities are TRULY capable of.”

“Pretty much.” Gizmo concurred, before turning back to the girls and continuing. “Needless to say, fearing future incursions, the rest of the modern world united to face this threat and assembled the JMEF, Joint Military Expeditionary Force, from the militaries of the major nations, which was then sent through the portal to the fantasy world on the other side to end the threat at its source. The JMEF quickly established a base of operation on the other side, annihilating several more armies from the Empire that sent the invasion through the portal in the process.”

Sunset shuddered slightly as she glanced through the artwork depicting, in vivid detail of the JMEF’s initial invasion through the portal, with the Empire’s troops falling before the JMEF’s superior firepower and technology. In one scene, the Empire’s auxiliary armies of orcs and goblins were ruthlessly cut down by machine-gun fire, the tracers illuminating streams of bullets as they brought death by the hundreds before they could even see the enemy lines. In another scene, explosions rocked the battlefield as the Empire’s human men-at-arms and armoured knights were blown up by heavy artillery and mines. Another showed a helicopter gunship bringing down a wyvern-riding warrior down with a single missile. Another showed an elf wizard, in the process of casting spells, being taken out by a sniper. A final picture shows a human JMEF general, with his retinue, looking over the horrific aftermath, with thousands upon thousands of dead Imperial troops scattered in bloody, mangled pieces across the smoking, cratered and decimated landscape.

Sunset remembered, when she became a She-Demon upon gaining the Element of Magic, that she had entertained the thought of conquering the Human world with her magical powers and army of transformed, brainwashed teenagers, even if her initial invasion of Equestria. After all, how could a savage, squabbling species who doesn’t know true magic stand against her in that state? Now she wondered what chance did she truly have against such an innovative and ruthless species. She should had taken it as a warning when she read in the history classes how Humans could, and had, willingly level their own cities to win wars…

“Well, this is… definitely interesting.” Sunset admitted, with a gulp, “And that’s where the players start the game, isn’t it?”

“Yes. The game is still new, so the campaign has us starting off playing as members of the JMEF’s advanced recon teams, sent out from the JMEF main base with the mission to thoroughly explore the other world. Future expansions might include special forces mission behind enemy lines, or have our teams participate in recon-in-force and small skirmishes as part of future offensive operations.” Gaffer finished the explanation for Gizmo. “For now, though, these teams would be running around, establishing friendly contact with locals, determine the other world’s societies, cultures and political structures, prospect for unique resources and lands, gather knowledge of magic and creatures, and most importantly, discover clues as to who it was that opened a portal between dimensions and allowed the opportunistic Imperials to invade the modern world in the first place.”

“Which is a good set-up, since it puts the players at a disadvantage, cut off from reinforcements and supplies save for special events. That way, every battle against fantasy opponents would remain challenging instead of being repeated curb-stomp.” 8-Bit pointed out.

“Not to mention a chance to explore culture-clash in narrative, seeing that the Recon Teams are expected to engage in diplomacy as much as warfare.” With that, Shining Armor handed out character sheets to Sunset and Twilight, “Currently, our Recon Team has arrived in a forest glean and are about to make contact with a settlement of civilized unicorns. If you want, you can play as two of the unicorns, or a few elves who had decided to join our Recon Team from an earlier session…”

= = =

The first contact with the civilized unicorns – which more resembled unicorns as imagined in myths of the human world than the unicorns Sunset knew and once was in Equestria – was actually going relatively well, despite a rough start from the distrustful equines. But then an unexpected emergency turned the whole scenario over its head.

“Suddenly, smashing out from the woods, three ogres came barrelling into the unicorns’ settlement, attracted by the smell of cooked food!” Gizmo the GM declared, “Chaos ensured as the ogres rampaged, sending the unicorns scattering to the four winds. Those brave few who stood against them are being killed or swept aside!”

“Battle-stations!” Shining Armor, playing as the Recon Team’s first lieutenant, ordered aloud, “Gaffer, take a sniping position near the boulders! 8-Bit, contact the rest of the Recon unit at the forest outskirts to mount the 120 mm mortar turret on the APC and pop smoke shells near the Ogres’ positions! Everyone else, form on me! Our objectives are to protect and facilitate the evacuation of the unicorns, and drive back, if not neutralize, the ogre attack!”

“But how? These ogres are like walking statues!” Sunset asked worriedly, reading the ogres’ stats in this game. “Your assault rifles and grenades won’t be able to even scratch their hides!”

“Then we’ll just have to bring out the big guns.” Shining declared, then turn to Twilight, “Twi – I mean, Lavandula, are there still any unicorns near the ogres’ positions?”

“I…” She begin uncertainly. Then said, “I use my unicorn’s instinctive empathic powers, ‘Detect Being’.”

Twilight rolled the dice. She saw the results, as did Gizmo. “How do I do?”

“You detect one unicorn near the ogres. In fact…” Gizmo read the scenario outline, frowned, and added, “It’s a young colt, and it’s being held in the grasp of one of the ogres, which is about to take a bite out of his head!”

“We’ve got to save him!” Sunset Shimmer said urgently. “But at my current levels, my Elf Mage Starla can’t teleport him out of there at this range!”

“Not if you use a Homing Gem in your inventory, which allows you to teleport beings regardless of range.” 8-Bit suggested, “We looted one from the dead Imperial baron who pillaged the Elf village during the Empire’s retreat from the JMEF’s position at the Portal, last session. But someone have to wear it and literally holding the Unicorn colt to allow you to use your spell and get both of them out.”

“Allow me, then.” Shining Armor declared. Sunset nodded, realizing his plan. “I take the Homing Gem from Starla, and order a volley of flash-bangs to be launched via grenade launchers into the ogre’s positions.”

8-Bit and Shining Armor rolled their dice. Gizmo rolled for the rest of the Recon Team NPCs, then deducted the points, “The ogres are stunned and disorientated for three rounds, since their stats says they are semi-nocturnal hunters, meaning they are even more sensitive to loud noises and bright flashes than we humans are.”

Successful rolls in movement and dexterity, enhanced by Shining’s character’s military training perks and skill points, allowed Shining’s First Lieutenant to quickly make his way across the settlement and grab hold of the colt still in the flailing ogre’s grasp. One successful roll at spell-casting allowed for Sunset’s Elf Mage to teleport them out of harm’s way.

With that out of the way, it was time to deal with the ogres, JMEF style.

“I take aim and fire at the head of the ogre that seems to be leading the trio.” Gaffer, the Recon Team’s sniper, declared.

Dice rolled, and Gizmo saw the results. “Rolls are good; subtracting three due to smoke-screen but plus four accounting for your ‘Military Marksman’ perk, and accounting for the ogre’s defense, your shot went through the beast at the neck.

A second shot blew out the ogre’s brains, killing it in short order.

“But how can a mere sniper rifle take out a monster that big and tough?” Sunset asked, confused.

“If you read the weapons manual, you’ll find that 8-Bit’s .50 BMG Anti-Material Rifle has a muzzle velocity of around 853 m/s at an effective range of 1800 metres. Accounting for the mass and ballistic performance of a 12.7x99 mm .50 BMG round, it’ll translate to around 18,000 Joules of energy.” Shining Armor explained.

“That’s… that’s enough to penetrate concrete blocks, or straight through an engine block of a car!” Twilight gasped in realization, crunching the numbers in her head.

Sunset nodded, realizing the implications that meant for the mere hide, flesh, bone and brains of an Ogre.

“The other two Ogres charge in your direction out of the smoke-screen, having finally seen where their attackers are at!” Gizmo announced.

“I use my shoulder-mount 66 mm Light Anti-tank Weapon on the closest-charging Ogre.” 8-Bit announced

Again, it took two shots, while the supporting LMG and small arms fire from the rest of the Recon Team distracted it. But an Ogre’s hide, resilient against arrows and small-arms it may be, is still no match for a 66 mm anti-armor HEAT warhead, capable of penetrating 20 cm of steel plate and 600 mm (2 feet) of concrete, using a shape-charge propelled stream of molten metal to penetrate tank armour. (The weapons stats, written as a JMEF field manual, were very clear in its description of what to expect if used against the many types of fantasy creatures)

And as an added bonus… “The last Ogre, frightened by the demise of its fellow, has suffered fatal morale damage and is turning to flee.”

“We… we did it! We saved the Unicorns’ home!” Twilight gave a tired cheer.

“Not yet..” Shining Armor noted. “My First LT orders the 120 mm mortar to engage with anti-armour ordinance on the ogre’s projected retreat path.”

Sunset and Twilight almost winced as the weapon subsequently dealt the last ogre.

“Was this entirely necessary?” Twilight asked, feeling rather disturbed at Gizmo’s vivid description of the last ogre’s messy end.

“The elves in the last session told us that the ogres live in large packs that split up to forage for food. If it runs back to its lair, it might come back with more ogres reinforcements.” Gaffer explained. Then he shrugged, “It had to be done.”

“Back in Equestria, even after all it did, we ponies would had given them a chance. But I guess that’s how you humans do things in this world.” Sunset sighed. “Does all your battles go like this?”

“Not always. Maybe I should tell you about that one session where we fought off a fire dragon that was attacking a caravan of traders. Now that was a tough fight.” 8-Bit recalled. “We didn’t kill it, but we did managed to drive it off with some casualties. I don’t think it’ll forget how we blasted off one of its arms with a MPAD anti-air missile any time soon…”

Session 17.7 Alex Warlorn

Princess Twilight Sparkle now sat behind the DM screen. Having heard about the events from Sunset Shimmer, she was naturally intrigued. Then.. she seemed rather offended. But then a few days later, after requesting from books from the human world, she'd requested to Human Shining Armor to DM a session, she gave her word that she'd be 100% within the rules and no cheating. "Having slaughtered your way through the orcs and goblins as usual, you find at the center of the enemy base a golem."

"So what type is this one? Iron? Wood? Stone?"

"Actually, it appears to be made out of guns." 8-Bit asked.

"GUNS?!"

"It seems to a mass of various guns. It seems to be a prototype. And now that you've seen it. You naturally can't leave this place alive."

"SHOOT IT!"

"It almost seems to thank you, as the bullets are absorbed into its body, and fired out through it barrels."

And Later -

"A fire ball lands from nowhere and vaporizes two of your men."

"WHERE'S THE DRAGON!?"

"She's somewhere over the horizon, which is where the fireballs are coming from. It seems the overlord has entered an alliance with the Dragon Queen Tiamat. After seeing one of her subjects so previously injured, she believed what the overlord said about her children's way of life being in mortal peril, and has roused her from her sleep."

-And later still-

You manage to finally stop the tank that spontaneous turned on you... you open it up to find the tank crew have been dead for hours, are just animated zombies.

and later -

"The hear the banshee's death cry. Roll to resist death."

"Where did she come from?!"

"She rose out of the ground behind you after your troops had already passed."

And later -

"SNIPER IN THE WOODLINE! SNIPER IN THE WOODLINE!"

"What is going on!?"

"You have other things to worry about, as your spare uniforms comes to life on their own, and have pilfered weapons from the armory, and fire on you from behind."

After the game -

"The auto-locomation spell Twilight... really? Wasn't that spell banned for making wars too impersonal and therefore, ponies would forget about the collateral damage wars cause to civilians, and be MORE eager to start wars?" Starlight asked.

"If it was that great a threat, I imagine the ban would be lifted. And I couldn't BELIEVE what I read when you showed me. I mean, an evil overlord discoveries weapons with that much destructive power, and DOESN'T try to assimilate them into their forces for themselves? Only if the opposition is made up of mindless cardboard cuts outs who EXIST to be slaughtered." Princess Twilight explained.

She picked up a book from the human world, titled 'Modern Warfare.' "Seriously, I've read up on some of the ... darker part of their history. The natives Amarians were technology inferior. But the vast majority of their numbers were lost due to plague. Granting the Europeans an overwhelming numbers advantage. And the natives ditched their bows and arrows for repeat actions rifles as soon as they could. Without plague being a factor, the conflict would have been VERY different." She snorted. "I've read so many sci-fiction books that have technologically superior aliens invade Equestria where they fold like a house of cards you think they were written by malequines! They treat ponies officers like they're incapable of learning, like magic is some stagnant thing that never progresses, and that they'll KEEP using inane tactics."

"Wasn't that the problem in their first world war though?"

"Actually, I dug some. That's a misconception. It wasn't an army of insanely incompetent officers sending waves after waves of humans to their deaths for four years. They kept coming up game changing strategies, but the other side quickly picked up on them and employed them too. The problem was that no side could maintain an advantage for long. And seriously, there was a LOT MORE to that war than just humans in disease filled holes running towards machine guns."

Session 17.8 Kendell2

"So this is a game from Equestria?" the human Twilight asked.

"Well, it wasn't easy to find one," Sunset replied. "I didn't want to bring certain kinds of magic that'd be too conspicuous and I wouldn't bring anything that requires magic."

"Hey, we have magic!" Rainbow Dash replied.

"Yeah, but you barely know how to use it," Sunset replied. "I'm still trying to learn how to use telekinesis as a human, and that's like the most basic of unicorn spells."

"Wait, ALL unicorns have telekinesis?!" Twilight asked.

"Technically, so do Pegasi," Sunset replied. "And KINDA Earth Ponies...maybe. You see Pegasi have tactile telekinesis that allows them to pull things through the air like they would on the ground. Earth Ponies MAY have some similar ability to prevent things they're moving with their super strength from breaking apart, but it's not been confirmed."

"Well Ah know that super strength has helped on the farm a bit," Applejack said. Sunset gave a look. "What? Ah'm a FARMER, what else did yah expect meh tah do with super strength?"

"...Just be careful...any way, this game just uses sounds to help direct the game," Sunset explained.

They started the game...and soon found that while the light indicating the sounds was working...they couldn't hear anything.

"I think that game is broken, darling," said Rarity.

"That's weird," said Sunset, looking the game over. "It was working fine back in Equestria when I bought it...I could hear it just fine."

Twilight tapped her chin, then gasped. "One of you...pony up? I have a hypothesis."

"Alright," said Rainbow Dash, she then focused on her loyalty to her friends, pegasus wings emerging on her back and her human ears being replaced by pony ears, her hair growing out to match a pony's tail.

Twilight started the sound tutorial back on.

Rainbow Dash's pony ears twitched. "Okay, that time I heard it. Though I've never heard a sound like that before."

Twilight gasped excitedly and looked like she'd discovered something fascinating. "Equine's auditory range is wider than a human's! The game uses sound frequencies outside the range of human hearing but inside that of an equines!"

Rainbow Dash blinked in confusion. "...Meaning?"

Sunset gasped. "She means that those pony ears aren't for show! You have a pony's HEARING too! That's...actually pretty cool."

"So...we've got super hearin' when we pony up?" Applejack asked.

"Maybe other senses too, oh there's so much research I could do on this!" Twilight said, producing a notebook and beginning to write things down.

Session 17.9 MtangaLion

Not many folks knew that Ponyville even had a video arcade, but that was fine with ponies like Button Mash. That meant fewer ponies using the machines and making him wait his turn.

Sweetie Belle fumed, watching Button play 'Night Guard Fighter: Eternal'. She levitated two bit coins in her magic, scraping them together impatiently. "Come on, Button! I ran out of ships ten levels ago! Let's start a new co-op game!"

Button Mash kept moving the joystick with one forehoof and tapping the fire button with the other, never looking away from the screen. "In a minute..."

"You beat the all time high score and got your cutie mark two levels ago," Sweetie pointed out, poking the D-Pad icon on Button's flank.

"In a minute," Button repeated, muzzle to the screen, tongue sticking out the corner of his mouth, laser-focused...

Sweetie Belle tapped her chin with a hoof, then grinned and batted her eyelashes at Button, just like she'd seen her big sister Rarity doing when she practiced in front of the mirror. When that didn't get the colt's attention, she leaned against Button and kissed him on the cheek.

Then Button did the pony equivalent of blue-screening, and Sweetie discovered that she'd leaned too far, and both of them toppled over in a tangle of limbs. Button's propeller beanie stayed hovering in the air for several seconds before it floated down to join them.

"Princess Beach Volleyball Party!?" exclaimed Eight-Bit. He took that game out of the shipping box addressed to Ponyville, and shook a hoof at a snickering Shining Armor and Point-Dexter. "Very funny. You know my son isn't old enough for games like that."

Session 17.10 Kendell2 (with bits added in the middle by me)

"Ugh, how can Batmare vs. Superstallion be that lame?" Rainbow Dash asked in announce as they arrived back at the Castle.

"Because Batmare killed ponies?" Starlight asked. "Or that several of the bad futures my actions caused are less dark than that?"

"Or that it seemed more concerned about setting up the big team up movie than making that movie good?" Twilight questioned.

"I thought the action was good..." Spike said with a shrug.

Rarity couldn't resist a triumphant smirk. "Remember darling how much you defended Stallion of Steel? How you defended," Rarity mimicked Rainbow Dash's voice, "'One scene! One scene!' The Superstallion Story That Thought It Was A Batmare Story?"

"That was even darker! This pegasus has her limits!"

"The Celestia allusions in that movie were way too transparent." Twilight said matter of fact.

"Anyway, let's try something a bit more fun," said Rainbow Dash, putting an Enchanted Comic down.

"Batmare The Brave and the Bold?" Twilight asked. "The genre throwback comic?"

"Oh! That's one of my favorites!"exclaimed Pinkie Pie happily.

"It's an anthology one, which means we leave with each comic we beat or whenever we use the quit password. And since he teams up with different heroes we can all play. Figured it'd lighten the mood," Rainbow Dash asked with a smirk. "You girls game?"

"Oh! Is one of them the one where we fight the guy who's singing turns everything into a musical episode?!" Pinkie asked.

Rainbow Dash checked and nodded. "Uh...yeah..."

"Cool! Let's do it!"

The group nodded in agreement.

Rainbow Dash smirked. "Alright, let's do this! 'You can return to the place you started when the villains are defeated. Take a closer look to join the adventure in this book...'"

OOC: No offense to people who liked that movie.

Session 17.11 Ardashir (OOC: Here's an idea for that latest Batmare Brave and the Bold comic.)

"YAAAHH!" Spike's clawed feet dug at the dirt beneath his feet. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, er, make that Zapp and Filli-Second dragged him towards a vicious and mangy-looking female white furred Diamond Dog wearing a bridal veil. Spike, or rather Humdrum, yelled. "Guys! I don't want to marry a Diamond Dog!"

"Sorry, Humdrum," the Masked Matter-Horn said, smiling at him. She stood beside a bubbling cauldron and sported a headdress that looked like an owl had climbed up on her head and died there. Beside her stood a trenchcoat-wearing Starlight Glimmer, her face a blank. "But the Question and I said the words." She pointed at the snarling Diamond Dog. "You and her are now drake and wife!"

"WHY DID WE EVER DO THIS?" Spike yelled, and as he did a maniacal laugh sounded behind him.

"A-HAHAHAHA! Oh, Power Ponies!" Everypony froze as the Mane-iac slithered into view, supported by strands of her mane. She pointed one tendril at the scene before her and laughed. "And I thought I was evil! Marrying that poor dolt Humdrum off to a Diamond Dog?!?" She rolled on the ground, laughing some more before she got up.

"So, now are we evil enough for you?" Zapp said.

"Hahaha! Easily!" Mane-iac got up, wiping a tear from her eyes. "I admit, I have to take points off because, well, it was only Humdrum..."

Spike snorted smoke from his nostrils, then cringed from the Diamond Dog.

"But the way you ruined his life totally makes up for it!" Mane-iac looked around as though about to reveal a great secret, and then reached into her mane and took out a pile of maps, charts, and mimeographed glossies.

"Show-off," Filli-Second muttered.

"Here's my plan for breaking into the Second National Bank of Maretropolis," she began.

"Why not the First?" Question asked.

"Everyone expects somepony to rob the FIRST National Bank," Mane-iac snapped back. "I'm being original here! Now look closely at this."

"And you can look closely at this, darling!" Mane-iac yelled to see the 'female Diamond Dog' vanish, a power construct. Beneath stood Radiance -- who promptly slammed a purple energy cage down over her.

"NO FAIR!" Mane-iac shook the bars of her cage. "Faking humiliating Humdrum just to catch me!"

"You can complain about it as we take you back to Balkham Aslum," the Question said as she and Matter-Horn used their magic to send the villain rolling back to her cell.

"Yeesh," Spike grumped. "I hadda be Humdrum again, and you guys set me up like that!"

"Only because," Radiance, Rarity, said, giving the scaly little hero a kiss on the cheek, "Mane-iac knows that the clearest sign of our turning evil, would be doing anything to hurt you."

Spike blushed.

Session 17.12 Kendell2

"Besides," said Twilight. "Humdrum is theorized to have an innate power of being underestimated. If it'd been any of the rest of us, Maneiac would've suspected something."

Spike chuckled. "Yeah, I guess. Kinda like how King Sombra underestimated me."

"...He really likes to brag about that, doesn't he?" Starlight asked. She'd stopped questioning how she could see or talk without a face. She didn't know the comic book lore of her character that well.

"Let him have it," Rainbow Dash said with a chuckle.

Session 17.13 Kendell2

"Thank Celestia Cadence finally had her kid..." Eight-Bit said. "That was hectic."

"Hey, you don't have to take care of a baby Alicorn," Shining joked, little Flurry Heart currently on his back. The group had set down at a table to play.

"Well at least you finally got her power under control," said Poindexter, holding a hoof to the tiny Alicorn, who gooed and suckled on it.

"Yeah, Sunburst said the spell is meant to help stabilize young unicorn's power surges...mom said she wished she'd had it when me and Twiley were kids."

"I can't believe you named her Flurry Heart," 8-Bit replied.

"...Her full name is technically Flurry Skyla Heart Sparkle."

"I think I'll use Skyla, sounds better."

Shining Armor gave a glare.

Suddenly, another Poindexter burst into the room, shaking off some Changeling goo. "Guys! That's not me!"

Shining Armor gasped and blasted the first Poindexter across the room...only for it to REALLY be Poindexter.

"I'm not a Changeling..." he muttered.

"Oh..."

Shining snapped back to see the second Poindexter make a grab for Flurry Heart...only for the little filly to grab 'his' hoof with her front hooves and give the sound a filly throwing a tantrum. "Uh oh..."

Shining Armor's eyes went wide as his little few week old daughter proceeded to lift the Changeling off the ground and slam them into the ground on the opposite side of her father...repeatedly, each time getting a loud 'oof' from the Changeling until it's disguise failed and revealed a very stunned Changeling drone, all the while the little filly crying and throwing a temper tantrum.

"Ow..." the changeling whimpered.

Flurry Heart gave one last slam and drove the Changeling clear through the floor to the floor below...then kept crying.

"...I knew we were missing one aspect of Alicorns..." said Shining Armor, grateful they'd forgotten Flurry had Earth Pony in there too.

He then nuzzled his daughter to get her to stop crying.

"So what game are we playing today?"

Session 17.14 Alex Warlorn

"YOU TRIED TO KIDNAP MY FILLY! I AM GOING TO DESTROY YOU!" Cadence roared at Chrysalis.

Chrysalis proved her acting skills by apparently keeping her cool. "Clearly a independent rogue changeling acting on their own. In no way related to any hostile organization or nation. The changeling swarm denounces this blatant act of terrorism." Chrysalis said formally, properly, politely, with the smoothness of a centuries old politician.

"We'll just see about that once he wakes up and we interrogate him."

Guard Flash Sentry looked uncomfortable. "Actually Princess, the changeling claims to not remember anything and claims he was under the effects of black magic."

Chrysalis grinned. "Ah yes, evil black magic, amazing how whenever it's someling POPULAR (like Miss Rarity) they never remember anything, but when it's someling who you'd be OKAY WITH them doing those horrible things, (like that mare Trixie), they remember every detail of what they did."

Cadence glared at her.

"So... are we still on for game night?" Chrysalis said politely.

Cadence snorted. "We're playing Gamma Kingdom, I'll be game mastering... Brings lots of characters sheets, and prepare to die."

"I'm looking forward to it." Chrysalis kept a polite face. Inside she thought, 'WHY! Why does she get a super powerful heir on her first try! When I try three times, and first I get a rolly-polly garbage disposal, a failure who keeps biting off more than she can chew, and... my third one who seems to have every defective changeling gene known to the swarm...'

Session 17.15 Alex Warlorn

In the human world Gaffer said, "Ya know Shining Armor, that girl who looks just like your sister but isn't your sister, who says she's a princess from another universe-"

"Yeah yeah, I didn't enjoy last week's game either-"

"Are you JOKING!? I loved it!"

"HUH?!" Shining Armor gasped. He felt like the alternate version of his sister was 'punishing' them for some reason.

"I didn't want to say anything to Gizmo or Eight-Bit since they were really loving it but... for me? It was all getting kinda, BORING! It mean, everything was SO ONE SIDED! Orcs, elves, even DRAGONS, everything just falls to the player's superior firepower with no real hope of winning. I get the designers were deconstructing people centuries behind in warfare, tactics, and technology going up against modern firepower and how insane that would be, but... in terms of a GAME? There was never any real challenge! It was just a turkey shoot. What's the point of a game where you have to TRY to lose? For the first time since we started playing, I actually felt like I was being CHALLENGED! All the creative and new ways she was using all the oppositions abilities that were in the rules but not mentioned in the manual? For the first time ever I felt like I had to THINK about how to beat the enemy! I didn't feel like I was playing a game of Halo."

"Oh."

Session 17.16 Alex Warlorn

Pinkie Pie sat in Tartarus. Where Tirek was speaking in character to his character's in game friends as they played Rainbows and Crystals 3.5 once again. "Now remember, my sister is VERY shy about hugs, so when she says 'no' she means yes, and when she says yes, she means 'super-yes!'"

Somewhere in the depth of her mind. Pinkie Pie actually had to admire Tirek for bouncing back from his fluster of his long distant and long HATED brother joining him in the campaign Celestia insisted Pinkie Pie keep going for the tyrant. "Okay Tricky!" Pinkie Pie replied in character. "We'll give'er the best surprise party ever since you won't be able to be here for it!"

"Thanks! Your the best friends ever!"

And so it was, as Scorpan's character, Tricky The Unicorn's sister Score The Pegasus entered Tricky's house, she was tackled from every direct, hugging her so much she couldn't even move.

Meanwhile, Tricky followed up on where a group of Grumps were, and lured them through a one way street lane, and managed to huggle and cuddle all of them bottle neck style, managing to make them all happy, with only losing a little HP (Happy Points) herself and raking in the experience points, and of course getting more praise from Ponyville ponies on saving the town from the Grumps.

By the time Score had gotten out of the house of hug happy ponies, Tricky had already arranged a flying lesson with Thistle Whistle. "And you wouldn't want to make her feel unhappy and make her think you didn't want to be around her would you?"

This let Tricky get back to her scheme of enslaving all the Breezies in Ponyland, without them knowing they were enslaved, nor the big ponies knowing it. Tricky just told the breezies how every pony in Ponyville was now a Princess, and how every princess needed ladies in waiting...

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Session 17.6 BrutalityInc (For reference, GATE - Thus the JSDF Fought There, by Takumi Yanai, former JSDF serviceman and current fantasy author)
Session 17.7 Alex Warlorn
Session 17.8 Kendell2
Session 17.9 MtangaLion
Session 17.10 Kendell2 (with bits added in the middle by me) OOC: No offense to people who liked that movie.
Session 17.11 Ardashir
Session 17.12 Kendell2
Session 17.13 Kendell2
Session 17.14 Alex Warlorn
Session 17.15 Alex Warlorn
Session 17.16 Alex Warlorn

Cover art by lightningtumble

Session 18

Session 18.0 MtangaLion

Gilda picked up a red checker, spun it idly in her talons, then placed it back on the checkerboard. Twilight's castle balcony had a nice cool breeze this early in the morning, and an even better view. "So, Princess..."

Twilight pointed a hoof. "I saw you move that piece with your tail, Gilda. Put it back, please?"

Gilda's tail snaked onto the table again, sliding a black checker back into place. "What? I was just testing you!"

Twilight smirked. "Uh huh."

Gilda lifted a single talon and started to speak, then hesitated. "I just had a thought. When did you turn into Rarity?"

"Rarity?" Twilight looked herself over quickly, just in case she might have literally turned into Rarity and not noticed somehow. Stranger things had happened. "I'm afraid I don't quite follow."

"C'mon, you know! Anytime anybody has to go to Rarity's house to talk to her about anything... boom! Suddenly they're getting fitted for a dress!" The griffon shivered, feathers fluffing.

Twilight seemed doubtful. "You, in a dress?"

"I know! Gotta give her points for trying, though. She actually offered to sew me a leather jacket after that. Wicked awesome, right?" Gilda sighed. "I must be getting soft. I'd feel lousy, making her work with leather."

Twilight smiled. "So you *did* go to her shop for something!"

Gilda cringed a bit. "Uh, it was nothing! I needed a stuffed toy repaired... don't you dare laugh! I was just feeling sentimental, that's all."

"Hmm... this wouldn't happen to be a stuffed blue pegasus plush doll, would it?"

Gilda froze, claws scraping the chess table. "I'm gonna find out who spilled the beans on that, and then I'm gonna gut them like a..."

Twilight cleared her throat.

Gilda growled, fuming. "And then I'm going to tell them that breaking a friend's trust like that isn't very nice. Sheesh. Happy now, Princess?"

"Wrassling!" cried Pinkie Pie out of nowhere, pouncing Gilda, who squawked in surprise.

Twilight chuckled and shook her head, levitating the table and chessboard out of the way of all the roughhousing.

After they... wrassled each other to a standstill, Pinkie gave Gilda one more great big hug... er, hold. "Here's a cupcake for you, and one for you too, Twilight!" She put a frosted pink dessert on each side of the game board. "Don't be late for work, now!" Pinkie rose on her hind legs, fired a gas-powered grapple at a crystal tower, then used the grapple line to soar up and over the castle roof out of sight.

They kept playing for a while in silence, until Twilight picked up one of her kings and captured half of Gilda's remaining pieces in one go. Gilda gave her a look. "Okay, so... I have no idea what we were talking about."

"You were comparing me to Rarity?"

Gilda snapped her claws. "Right! If we want to talk to Rarity... dresses. If people want to talk to you, we have to play a game!"

Twilight flinched. "I'm not that bad, am I? Wait... you came here to chat with me and play a game... so you could talk about how you have to play a game to chat with me?"

Gilda flung up her claws. "No, no no... There was an actual point to all this, I swear. Come on, what was it..." She grumbled and pecked at a wing, racking her brains. "Aha! Got it!" The griffon grinned craftily, kneading her talons.

Twilight smiled and braced herself.

"So I was thinking... it's murder trying to get a date in this town."

Twilight gave her a sympathetic look. "No luck finding your gentlegriff caller?"

"Don't call him that," grumbled Gilda. "And no. Gone, pfft. Heck, I wouldn't have waited around either. You, though, you could fix all that!" Gilda leaned closer. "Just a few magic spells and bam, presto! Handsome griffs and colts everywhere!"

Twilight's wings drooped. "Uh huh."

Gilda blinked. "What? Why not?"

"I actually get requests like that pretty often," said Twilight, kneading her forehead. "Especially on Transformation Clinic Tuesdays."

"What... that's a thing? Seriously? Why didn't anybody tell me that was a thing?"

"I get asked that so often that I've developed a standard response." Twilight grinned. "And I have Discord to thank for it!"

"Discord?" squawked Gilda, getting her feathers all in a bunch before she remembered to lower her voice. "What did he do?"

Twilight chucked. "Picture this: Late one night, Rainbow Dash is flopped on a cloud near Sweet Apple Acres."

"I definitely can see that."

"She looks at the heavens and shouts, 'Just once, why can't I like a stallion who isn't taken already?' And you just don't shout things like that in Ponyville."

Gilda blinked. "Discord?"

"Because Discord might hear, yes! That's how she wound up spending a whole weekend as 'Rainbow Blitz.'"

Gilda snickered. "I'd pay good money to see that."

Twilight produced a photo album in a flash of purple magic, ran a hoof down an index, then opened the album and passed it to Gilda.

Gilda stared, and her wings sprang open, nearly knocking the table over. "Boreas! I mean, uh..." She combed her claws through her crest sheepishly. "Yeah, I guess I can see how mares would go for that."

Twilight grinned smugly. "What I'm getting at is, I won't turn other ponies into the griffon of your dreams against their will, and I can't create dream dates out of thin air. However! If *you* are volunteering to turn into a male griffon or even a colt for a day, that's well within my powers."

Gilda blinked. "Uh..."

"I'm sure you'd have no problems at all getting a hot date, although you might have some explaining to do when you turned back. I can even show you an image of how you'd look as a pegasus stallion, if you're curious."

Gilda gulped. "Oh, um... hey, look at the sun! I've gotta get to work. Which is a thing that I do now! Yep, those clawssants won't make themselves! Good talk, Princess!"

As the griffon grabbed her cupcake and flew away, Twilight went ahead and conjured the image for her own amusement. "Anytime, Gilda."

Session 18.1 Jarkes

During one of their sessions, Twilight heard a knock on the door. "Spike, could you get the door for me?"

"Of course!" Spike said, getting out of his seat and heading towards the door.

Starlight frowned. "You know, I still don't get why you have no staff whatsoever here. Doesn't it get difficult to maintain things here?"

Twilight blushed. "I'm... working on that, but it's a lot harder to find qualified ponies around here than you might think."

Just then, they both heard a familiar nasally voice. "So you're playing in here, then? Starlight wasn't kidding about every hall in here looking the same..."

"Sunburst?!" Starlight yelped, her voice suddenly going up a whole octave.

Trixie smirked. "Who's that? Your coltfriend?"

"HE IS NOT MY COLTFRIEND!" Starlight yelled... right as Spike and Sunburst walked in.

Silence.

Sunburst coughed. "Well, she's not lying... we are most definitely not in a relationship. But anyway, Princess Cadance gave me three weeks off, so I thought I'd come here to visit during that time. Starlight's told me quite a bit about your gaming sessions, so I wondered if maybe I could join in?"

"Well, I... I'm sure you could play some other games, but..." Starlight fidgeted. "Well, we've been doing this game for almost a couple months now. I don't think we can have a new player join in so far into it, especially if he's only going to be here a couple weeks..."

Twilight smiled. "Don't worry about it, Starlight. I'm sure there are some other games we can play, or perhaps we can make him a 'temporary party member.' You know, like how a lot of NRPGs have those temporary party members who are much stronger than the rest of the party at that point of the game but then they leave after a while?"

"Oh, yes... I'm sure we can work that out..." Starlight said.

"Before we do, though, I need to ask you to do something, Starlight," Sunburst said. He took a deep breath. "I want you... to punch me in the face."

"WHAT?!" Everypony in the room shouted.

"Why? Why would I do that?" Starlight asked, frowning.

"Well, I DID kind of abandon you immediately after getting my cutie mark, never bothered to contact you during all that time, and in a roundabout way, I guess you could kind of say I'm partially responsible for you pretty much losing it..." Sunburst replied. "So come on. Hit me with your best shot! Fire away!"

"No, I can't do that! I mean, maybe if this was BEFORE all that's happened I'd be more than willing but..." Starlight trailed off.

"Come on, just hit me!" Sunburst said, sounding a little bit too eager.

"No!"

"YOU CAN DO IT AS HARD AS YOU WANT!" Sunburst yelled.

Silence.

"Dude..." Pinkie Pie said. "Phrasing."

"...I don't get it," Spike said.

"Okay, this lover's quarrel has certainly been entertaining..." Trixie began.

"WE'RE NOT LOVERS!" Sunburst and Starlight both shouted, before they realized this and both blushed.

"Well, sorry, but can we just get back to the session already?" Trixie asked.

"Yeah, we'd... better do that," Twilight replied. "We can work out how to fit Sunburst into this later." Still, she wondered, Why would Cadance give Sunburst a full three weeks off? ...Wait, isn't Hearts and Hooves Day in three... damn it, Cadance, not again.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Back in the Crystal Empire, Shining Armor was looking at his wife with a half-annoyed expression. "Honey, are you shipping Flurry's Crystaller and that Starlight mare together?"

Cadance smiled. "Maybe."

Session 18.2 MtangaLion

Button Mash's cutie mark celebration took place in the same video arcade where he'd gotten his mark. No other location was seriously considered.

Maternity and Eight-Bit were both present, proudly offering greasy pizza and game tokens to the guests.

A lot of the colts and fillies were clustered around the "Whack-a-Blarg" machine. Once, the game had featured comically ugly plastic Diamond Dogs and changelings, but now there was a legal notice hanging on the wall, and made-up green aliens popped out of the holes to get smacked by foam rubber mallets.

"Ah still don't get it," said Apple Bloom. "You were just doing what ya like..."

Scootaloo buzzed her wings and hopped, bonking an alien on the top row. "And bam! A cutie mark, just like that?"

Sweetie Belle grumbled. "I had to tell him three times, and then he was like 'Oh, really? That's pretty cool, I guess.'"

Button Mash blushed deeply. That didn't stop him from twirling his mallet and bonking the next three aliens the moment they appeared, though.

"You do know," said Diamond Tiara, choosing her words with care, "that is how most colts and fillies get their marks? You three are... really something else." She turned her attention back to the pool table and knocked a ball into a pocket with a double-bank shot. "Yes!"

"What's it for?" asked Featherweight, in between big bites of pizza. "Playing games?"

"It's probably for designing games," said Silver Spoon. "You can't make a living playing games."

"Hoofball players do," pointed out Rumble, though he seemed a little doubtful as well.

"Perhaps it's for playing games in front of an audience," suggested Pipsqueak, "whilst making witty commentary and urging the viewers to give him as many hoofs up as possible!"

"It's kinda... all those things," said Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle nodded. "His talent is all things gaming. We checked twice."

Button grinned. "That makes it the best cutie mark ever! I'm like, the god of gaming!" The colt flexed, not at all impressively.

Maternity overheard that and smiled. "Well, the 'god of gaming' had better keep going to school and getting good grades on his homework, so he doesn't wind up grounded from the arcade."

"Aw, mom!!"

Session 18.3 Mooncalf99

"Okay, that didn't work," Starlight admitted. "Retreat! Retreat!"

"We've been retreating for the last five minutes," Trixie said. "Get with the program!"

"Just keep retreating," Starlight repeated.

By now, they had cleared away their minifigure battlefield and replaced it with a map of the pirate ship's interior, which was for absolutely no reason a maze of twisty passages. The original plan had been to use more minifigures to keep track of their positions, but Trixie had instead volunteered her skill at illusions, so currently a small but very detailed model of their jury-rigged roadster was making its way down a corridor.

Following the illusory ship were several simpler dots, firing beams. Mental note to self, Twilight thought, brush up on illusions. In fact, ask Trixie. She would probably love to help me, just so she can show me how much better she is at it.

"Well, I guess now we know how the captain got her name," Pinkie said. "Talk about curb-stomp battle. No offense, Ra."

"It's okay… I'm a talker, not a fighter…" Starlight muttered. Nonetheless, she felt a little bit slighted. If she didn't know better, she'd have suspected that Twilight didn't want to let her have an army of obedient servants, but that was just crazy. It wasn't like she'd let the power go to her head, like with Pinkie or Trixie.

"Left turn!" Rainbow yelled, and the ship made a left turn down another corridor. (She had insisted on driving due to her superior stats, even though Trixie argued that she was the one doing the illusion and should be the driver. Given that Bright Light had a Drive stat of one, though, she had to admit that she would just give Twilight an invitation to mess with them.) "Then a right! Can we block their shots somehow? Shields? Did I install some kind of shield defense during construction and then space out and forget about it?"

"That's reaching it a bit, isn't it?" Twilight remarked.

Rainbow shrugged. "Worth a try."

"I crawl over the saucer section and hang on with two arms and legs," Pinkie said. "Then I draw four of my special dark matter frying pans and try to deflect their shots."

Twilight paused. "Hang on. Where did you get frying pans made of dark matter?"

"I put them on our inventory list before we took off," Pinkie said like it was no big deal.

"Do you even know what dark matter is, Pinkie?" Twilight asked.

"Sure! I read about it in one of your books on space. It's matter and it's dark, and it's super dense so I figured it'd be great for cookware," Pinkie said. "Plus it's apparently really abundant, like five-sixths of the universe is made of it? So it's probably pretty cheap if you know the right aliens."

"...Okay," Twilight said after several moments. "If only because this seems to be encouraging you to study new things. Still, you have to make rolls to intercept the shots every round."

"Hey, I've cooked trickier meals," Pinkie said. "No problems. Remember the Truffle Nougat Surprise, Gilda?"

"We agreed not to talk about that," Gilda said.

"What happened with the Truffle Nougat Surprise?" Rainbow asked curiously.

"Absolutely nothing," Gilda hissed.

"Okay, you're pretty sure you've managed to shake off your pursuers for the time being," Twilight said. "However, you're now very lost inside the bowels of the ship."

"In a maze of twisty little passages, all alike?" Pinkie suggested.

"Very much so," Twilight said. "That's what you get for keeping a map without taking the third dimension into account."

"But you said we couldn't do time travel anymore!" Rainbow Dash protested.

"Um, Miss Dash?" Sunburst interjected. "I think you're referring to the fourth dimension. The third is typically--"

"Elevation, yeah yeah," Rainbow said, rolling her eyes. "I know. I'm a flying pro, you know. I was trying to be funny."

"Sorry…" Sunburst mumbled.

Starlight patted him on his shoulder. "Don't worry about it. Just… relax and don't be too serious, and you'll be fine. I'll admit, it was a surprise when I started living here - they're all business when the world needs saving, but…"

"Yes… yes, I understand." Sunburst stared at the character sheet the princess had drawn up for him, absorbing the information meticulously scribbled down there. This gaming thing was quite new, but he'd get the hang of it one way or another.

He tried not to get too overwhelmed by the fact that his character sheet was written by a princess, and thus counted as royal writ. Or that he was sitting next to said princess, who was sneaking bites from a hayburger while talking in a way that no royalty should admit to doing. Or that he'd just been told off by a legendary hero of Equestria. Or the… well, the whole complex situation with Starlight, which he still was coming to terms with. It was… wow. Just wow.

And yet they acted like this was nothing at all. Like they were just regular ponies having regular fun. They certainly didn't think they were that special. Sombra's breath, that blue unicorn talked as though Princess Twilight should defer to her instead. Which they seemed to find funny, rather than a massive breach of decorum. And the less said about the griffon's vocabulary, the better. Yikes!

But yes, he'd get the hang of it. He'd just have to… play along, as it were. And this character the prin… Twilight had given him, it would work well. He wanted to borrow an idea from a book he'd read, and this fit the bill nicely.

He became aware that Starlight was tapping him on the forehead. "Uh, what?"

"You spaced out for a bit," she said. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Just fine," he said reassuringly. "What's happening?"

"No, I don't think it's safe to hide the ship in your mouth," Trixie said to Pinkie Pie. "What if you digest it?"

"It's cool, it's cool," Pinkie said dismissively. "I stash things there all the time. I can be, you know, selective about it."

"And what else can we do?" Rainbow said. "You gonna carry it on your back? Last I knew, your Bod stat is way too poor for that."

"Ugh, fine," Trixie said, giving up. "But you'd better not drool on the seats." She grumbled a bit. "Okay. Now. Where are we, and is there anything interesting around?"

"Twisty passages, flickering lights, the piles of rubble and broken machinery that you leave behind whenever you land your ship anywhere," Twilight said. "After a little wandering, you find a large door with 'SECURITY' written over it."

"I look around for the security," Trixie said.

"You don't find any guards in the area, despite a thorough search," Twilight replied. "Whoever installed the door did a good enough job that it's secure enough. Titanium alloy, three-inch thick cylinders, and a twelve-sequence code lock. Just looking at it makes you feel safe and secure, knowing that such a paragon of security exists in the universe."

"Have you been drinking?" Trixie shook her head. "Never mind that. What's the melting point of titanium?"

Twilight laughed. "Nice try, but the door is thermally insulated to resist even your stellar heat. Care to try the lock?"

"No, I'd rather try the wall," Trixie said. "Is that made of heat-insulated alloy too, I wonder?"

Twilight glared at the unicorn. "No, it's not."

"Excellent!" Trixie cheered. "Then the Plasmatic and Radiant Bright Light cuts the door out of its frame and gains entry that way."

"Oh, nice variant of the 'Cutting the Goatian Knot' concept!" Sunburst remarked.

"Naturally," Trixie bragged. "Nopony thinks outside the box like Trixie."

"The code lock wouldn't have been that difficult," Twilight pointed out.

Trixie just shrugged. "Too obvious. Now, reveal the treasure of the pirates!"

"Wait, treasure?" Rainbow said. "Are you saying you found their loot?"

"Dude, I'm so there," Gilda said. "What, you thought you could sneak away and ninja all the cool stuff?"

"Girls, I'm pretty sure I did not 'sneak off' anywhere," Trixie said. "I just asked if there was anything interesting around."

"She just walked a few yards to the left," Twilight clarified. "She's been within eyesight the whole time."

"Also, how could she be a ninja when we're trying to be pirates?" Pinkie interjected with a grin.

Silence.

"Pinkie, what have we said about tired old memes?" Twilight asked.

"Sorry," Pinkie said, dejected.

"So, the treasure?" Trixie asked. "At least, I'm assuming it's treasure. Why else would you lock it up like this?"

"Okay, after some effort you manage to push away the broken security door and get inside," Twilight said. "The room is full of bags and boxes, as well as one chained-up stallion."

"Whoa, the pirates keep dudes as their treasure? That's awesome!" Gilda said.

"Well, since Captain Plasmabeard was a lady, apparently…" Pinkie said. "I guess she has good priorities."

"Okay, Sunburst," Twilight said. "This is your entry. Go ahead."

"Oh, right, right," Sunburst said. He cleared his throat. "Oh, praise the Builders! We're saved!"

"'We'?" Rainbow asked. "You royalty or something?"

"I push past them and get to the prisoner," Starlight said. "Don't worry, your highness. Your days of oppression at the hooves of the tyrant captain is at an end! After all, nopony could be held as property by another."

"You sure?" Trixie asked. "Because we'd let you have him as your share."

"I thank my saviors," Sunburst said. He cleared his throat again. "We are in your debt, ladies. If you could--"

"And sir," Rainbow said.

"--What?" Sunburst asked in surprise.

"My character's a dude, actually," Rainbow explained. "You didn't know, so I'm just mentioning it now."

"Okay then," Sunburst said. He wasn't entirely sure what to say about that.

"So what does the mystery stallion prince guy look like?" Pinkie asked. "Does he have big cinnamon buns on his head?"

"…What." Sunburst wasn't sure what to say about that, either.

"You know!" Pinkie said. "It's the standard look for captive royalty. And you were supposed to ask Ra if she's a bit too short to be a pirate, thus establishing yourself as somepony who's usually strong and independent despite being a prisoner, but you went a different route, I guess."

"Okay…" He sensibly decided he didn't need to know what she was talking about, after all. "Well, as Pri… um, Twilight said, I'm a stallion. A unicorn. Can I, uh, save the colors and details for later?"

"Sure, no prob," Pinkie said. She was fairly certain nopony else objected to that, anyway. "Just a question. Equestrian pony or funky cool alien pony?"

"Hmm… actually, I don't think I should tell you just yet," Sunburst said.

"Ooh!" Pinkie squealed. "A mystery surprise! That is so cool!"

"Twilight?" Trixie said. "While they gush over the new meat, Bright Light checks those boxes you mentioned before for something cool."

"Good thinking," Twilight said. The others seemed to have lapsed into some argument over why alien planets would have ponies, so they would be busy for a while.
"Okay, most of the boxes seem to be miscellaneous supplies. Mostly machine parts and plastic pirate parts."

"Ick," Trixie said. "I set the former aside, in case we need to repair things. The latter, not so much."

"Well, they need those in case they get hurt in fights," Twilight said. "The machine parts are really heavy, though. You can't carry all of them. However, in another crate, you find a bottle labeled 'psycho pserum'. Judging by the pictographs on the label, taking it will permanently increase your strength. You estimate that it would work on your physiology, and--"

"Pass," Trixie said quickly. "Anything else?"

"Are you sure, Trixie?" Twilight asked. "It will boost your Bod and Bonk by two each, and you are kind of hurting in that department…"

"Twilight." Trixie swallowed. "Twilight Sparkle. Let Trixie paint you a picture. You are offering me power. Power that Trixie has not earned in any way. With an undertone in its naming suggesting that it may very well turn out to be something far different, perhaps even malevolent? Doesn't this remind you of something from a past incident between the two of us? Something that is not pleasant to bring up again?"

"What? What are you…" Twilight's eyes widened, and she drew a sharp breath. "No, no, no! I would never… I don't… I would never tease you about that, Trixie!" By now, Twilight's face was deep red. "You have to believe me, Trixie, I… I swear, I don't…"

"Well, of course Trixie doesn't think you did it on purpose!" Trixie barked. "Sheesh, don't be an idiot, Sparkle."

"You don't?" Twilight asked nervously.

"If I…" Trixie paused. "If I so much as thought you would be the kind of pony to bring up traumatic events to taunt me with, I wouldn't be here. I've quit groups that turned out to be bad plenty of times already. Life's too short to game with jerks, you know? But you guys, and especially you, Sparkle… you really try your best to make the game fun for everypony. And that's… uh…"

Trixie realized that the rest of the table had fallen silent, and were looking at her with wide eyes.

She realized this just a second too late, as Pinkie landed on her and hugged her tight. "Aw, you do care after all, Trixie-Wixie-rhymes-with-Pixie! I was wondering when you'd admit that we're your friends!"

"Ow," Trixie grunted.

"Uh, pretty sure she's mentioned it earlier already, Pinkie," Rainbow said.

"Yeah, but that was the casual, off-hoofed kind of deal, not a heartfelt and meaningful admittance," Pinkie said. "Completely different thing."

"Sorry about that, Trixie," Twilight said with a sheepish grin. "But I'm very happy to hear that we're so important to you."

"That's wonderful," Trixie wheezed. "Now if you can remove the pink one before she collapse Trixie's ribcage, that would be even more wonderful."

Gilda just rolled her eyes, grabbed Pinkie by her tail, and yanked her loose. She dropped the bundle of pink fuzzy hyperactivity back in her seat before turning towards the GM. "Okay, so that doohickey? If the principled gasball doesn't want it, I'll take it."

"Really though, Trixie. Are you sure about that?" Twilight asked.

"Yes," Trixie said. "It's probably a bit silly, but ever since that… time… I've tried to stand on my own. Earn everything myself. Stuff like that."

"So can I have it?" Gilda asked.

"I guess that makes sense," Twilight admitted. "I'll remember that for later. But honestly, I just wanted to give you something useful."

"And would it have had strange side effects?" Trixie asked pointedly.

"Asking a question here, dudes," Gilda said impatiently.

"Okay, yes, it would have," Twilight admitted. "Why do you want the psycho pserum, Gilda? Your character is maxed out in those stats anyway."

"Pfft, I wasn't gonna use it," Gilda said. "I wanted to try to turn it into Awesome."

"Okay?" Twilight asked dubiously.

"It's what my people do with stuff," Gilda elaborated. "'Cept I was hatched prematurely--"

"Yeah, you told us your backstory before," Rainbow interjected.

"--But, you know, I wanna see if I can do it anyway. Okay?" Gilda finished.

"Oh, all right," Twilight said. "Roll Cool, add knacks. Tell me the result."

Gilda rolled quickly. "Uh… nine. Is that enough?"

"You hold the bottle in you talons and… strike a pose or something?" Twilight suggested. "When the awesomic glow subsides, you're holding what appears to be… a goofy-looking bobblehead."

Gilda blinked several times. "What."

"It is, however, made of pure awesomnium," Twilight finished.

"That's… huh." Gilda racked her mind for a few seconds. "Seriously, Rainbow. Are bobbleheads cool, or crap? I'm not sure."

"I guess if you go for the ironic retro thing? I think Rarity said something about that once…" Rainbow suggested.

"And this is the point where the pirates show up and start shooting again," Twilight said. "Which makes this a great place for a break."

"Wonderful," Trixie said. "Grab the loot, I can't carry it on my own!"

"And the new guy?" Pinkie asked.

"Yeah, him too," Trixie agreed after a moment's consideration.

"Is this a bad time to mention that I'm still chained to the floor?" Sunburst asked.

Session 18.4 Dragon-of-Twilght

"You know, I honestly never thought I'd find myself playing cards with a changeling." Shining Armor's cards floated in front of him as he considered his options. The Cutie Map had been commandeered by himself, the Ponyville changeling known as 'Kevin', Button Mash, and Octavia of all ponies.

"One finds themselves saying phrases like that quite often while in Ponyville, or so it seems, at least." Octavia glanced about at the cards already on the table and the ones between her hooves. "Though, I honestly never thought I'd be losing to such a young colt."

"Doing better than me," Shining grumbled, then sighed. "I tap 5 mana and play Cone of Flame." He rotated the necessary cards, then placed the sorcery on the table. "That's... 1 damage to Kevin, 2 to your Prized Unicorn, and 3 Button."

Kevin glanced at his cards for a moment. "Eh, I'll take it; I go to 9 life." He spun the d20 down one notch.

"My unicorn dies, but I pay 3 mana to regenerate it with Molting Snakeskin." Octavia tapped the necessary cards.

"And I go to 14," Button said as he spun down his own d20.

"Okay, I tap... 4 mana and 3 of my creatures to play Alicorn of the Masses." Shining turned a few more cards. "Has Convoke, and it's stats are equal to the number of creatures I control; so it's a 5/5 with flying."

"Too bad I Exiled your 'Everything has Haste' card three turns ago," Kevin smirked.

"Yeah yeah, just for that, I attack you with my Pegasus Scout." He tapped the card. "2 to you and you can't block Flying."

Kevin grumbled, but spun his d20 down to 7 anyway.

"I end my turn."

"I interrupt that to tap 6 mana and play Cloudthresher!" Button tapped his cards and placed his latest creature down. "Deal two damage to everything with flying and each player." He spun his counter down, as did everyone else.

Shining sighed. "That's basically my entire field gone and I only have 3 life left. That's it for me then."

Button smirked as his beanie's propeller spun. "Pretty much, yeah."

Kevin buzzed over in his seat. "Where do you get your cards?! I need to start shopping there!"

"My dad knows some ponies who make them and gets packs on occasion; plus, he takes me to all the pre-releases!"

"How come he never invites me along then?"

"He says you still owe him for some cards you lost before I was born."

Shining Armor blinked, then sulked in his seat. "He's never going to let me live that down..."

"To be fair, I don't take Vinyl for a similar reason."

"Anyway, it's my turn now." Button looked down at his cards, clapping his hooves together excitedly. "First, tap Rogue's Passage to make Cloudthresher unblockable and attack Kevin."

Kevin sighed, dropping his cards on the map. "And I'm only at 5, so that's it for me."

"Carnassid and Caller of the Pack both attack Octavia; and thanks to Myriad, I get to put a copy of Caller into play tapped and attacking since Shining's still alive."

"And even if I block, I'll still take too much damage to survive." Octavia set her cards down. "I'm out as well."

"And Arrogant Wurm finishes off Shining." Button jumped in his seat. "I win again! Yay!" The colt did an entirely awkward dance as he celebrated, the three adults (or young adults in Kevin's case), sighing in resignation.

"Five games in a row; by Cocoon's carapace, I'm glad we're not betting on this." Kevin pulled his cards up into a loose pile, shuffling them out of habit. "There's no way even that butt symbol makes the kid this good."

"Cutie Mark," Octavia corrected, "and you'd be surprised. They can have some unexpected effects."

"I'm sure 8-Bit gave him some pointers too." Shining levitated his cards over to his saddlebags, then pulled out a different set. "I'm going to try a different deck and see if that works. He can't keep winning the whole night... can he?"

Session 18.5 BrutalityInc

“So, Iron Will sent this to you?” Twilight asked, pointing to the box now resting on the Cutie Map.

Fluttershy nodded meekly, “Iron Will said in his letter that his seminar business is booming, and he has patched things up with his wife and son, all thanks to my suggestions. So he thought to send a gift as a sign of gratitude...”

“A board-game… Either that fellah is mighty well-informed as every-pony else of our current hobby, or this ‘ere is some Minotaur tradition we never heard of.” Applejack muttered snidely as she scrutinized the game-box. Its depiction of a bronze-helmeted and armoured minotaur with his sword ready and shield raised against an attacking hydra made it obvious that it was a fantasy RPG game set in a fantastical version of the Minotaur homeland, based on Minotauran Mythology.

“It’s a pity that we’re not exactly familiar with Minotaurs or their culture that much to begin with, darling, them being a rarity around these parts…” Rarity commented. Then, a thought occurred to her, and she turned to Spike, “Spike, could you be a dear and tell us what you read about the Minotaurs’ homeland?”

Spike was more than happy to obliged, flipping through the pages of a book while Twilight stared sternly at Rarity, who merely giggled. “The Minotaurs originally came from the Tauran Peninsula, which in the present day is a republic populated by Minotaurs, Griffons and Ponies. In the ancient past, however, it was a land divided by its rugged, mountainous terrain and raging seas. Minotaurs used to live in labrynth fortress cities that served as the hearts of their ancient city-states. Their acropolises have grandiose temples dedicated to their pantheon of deities, the Orosian Gods. Nearby, they have great theatres where famous plays of comedy and tragedies were performed, agons where contests of athletics and chariot racings are held, studios where artists painted potteries and carved statues, and great libraries where philosophers debate and conjecture on various fields of knowledge.”

“The Minotaurs were and still is a maritime people.” Twilight interjected with her own knowledge, “Their triremes and galleys sailed the seven seas, bringing their goods and high culture to much of the old world. The society of the Pegasi Tribe before Equestria mimicked that of the Minotaurs, and even today, we owed many things from the armour of our Royal Guards to the Equestrian Games were directly and indirectly inspired by ancient Minotaurs.”

“Outside civilization, I’ve heard that the Minotaur lands was where hydras, cockatrices, phoenixes, chimeras, a thousand other mystical beasties came from.” Fluttershy said, recalling her knowledge of animals while Rarity swooned at Spike’s description of Minotaur high culture. “Discord had mentioned how much he loved the place because of it, saying that it was even more chaotic than the Everfree at times with all these monsters running around, and so back during his reign in Equestria, he ‘imported’ many of those creatures and set them loose to ‘spice things up’… at the expense of other ponies, of course.”

“In addition to the Minotaurs, Griffons and Ponies, other races also live there; these include Centaurs, like Tirek; Gorgons, snake ponies who can turn other ponies to stone with a gaze; Harpies – creatures with torso and head of ponies but the wings, tails and talons of birds; and even many tribes of Giants – massive ponies who draw their strength from the earth.” Spike added, reading another book.

"Uh, those real or mythical?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Yes," Spike said simply, then continued. “All in all, it’s kind of inevitable that Minotaur mythology would reflect the place where the Minotaurs lived, and Taura of myths was just as exotic a place, where demigods walk among mortals, where heroes battled monsters, where gods schemes and intrigues, and legends were forged either by cunning, or by the sword.”

“I like the sound of this game! I always wondered what it was like to be Metis on his adventures.” Rainbow Dash remarked, now more than eager to begin the game.

“Metis!” Twilight exclaimed, stunned, “You actually read the ‘Journey of Metis’, one of the greatest epic poems of the classical era?!”

“Well, yeah! It was mandatory reading for us Pegasi kids back in Cloudsdale high school. I actually got high marks writing an essay on it.” Rainbow Dash explained. Seeing the surprised expressions of her friends, she added, “What? Just because I’m a jock doesn’t mean I have no sense of taste. That, and it was the only part of Literature class that wasn’t boring.”

Rainbow Dash was slightly incensed when she saw the others groaning or shaking their heads in disbelief. Who do they think she was, an uncultured barbarian?

= = =

Just before the game got started proper, with a standard campaign which begins with the players investigating a string of the mysterious monster attacks in remote villages, the Mane Six took time to construct their heroic characters, or ‘Champions’ in the game’s terms. There were no strict classes, giving all the characters flexibility in their starting form and development.

Though as with Minotauran Mythology, where deities are active in the matters of the mortal world, association with the divine formed a large part in the Champions’ final build, granted as favours and boons from whomever gods the characters devote themselves to. Each player could have one patron deity whose portfolio would defined their character’s final build in terms of proficiencies and abilities, while a secondary deity could also be paid homage to for extra boons. A player could swap out any secondary deities whenever they want for accessing different perks, but switching the patron deity, while possible as the Mane Six later learnt, was considered inadvisable since it carries considerable downsides, notably having to be restart at level 1 for all abilities/powers gained, among other penalties.

“I chose Bellamos, the god of battle and violence for my patron deity. Gotta buddy-up with the embodiment of all fighters to have proficiency in all martial weapons and armor, and powers like the Aura of Courage and Frightful Presence” Rainbow Dash boasted, showing off her character, which all indications from the description and stats suggests a snarling, bloodthirsty griffon warrior, similar to the Warblade-class in O&O. Her starting weapon of choice were a pair of chained-blades, attached to her griffon by the avian tarsus. “Of course, my character also pay homage to Tachos, the god of messengers, for speed and dexterity bonuses and perks.”

“Kinda had seen that comin’.” Applejack said as she brought out hers, which described a minotaur hoplite soldier, with their archetypical circular ‘hoplon’ shield, a ‘doru’ spear and a ‘xiphos’ blade as his starting equipment. “Mah patron god is Thalasson, the king o’ em seas, earthquakes and mounts, which grants me proficiencies in spear and shield, as well as powers like indefinite underwater swimming, power to knock ‘em foes to the ground by ground-pounding mini-quakes, and use any creature as mounts, whether land, the air, or in the water with Special Mount. Mah homage tah Santor, the god of forges and volcanoes, would boost me with perks on strength, durability and weapons crafts.”

Twilight, as expected, made a character build of a Monoceros sorceress, a ‘magissa’, with her patron deity being Thelgossa, the goddess of sorcery, and her character paying homage to Ilios, the god of sunlight, music, medicine and prophecy, for powers of divination and healing. Of course, the word mage is derived from the Minotauran word for magic-users and magic, ‘magos’ and ‘magikos’. It surprised her how accurately the game has portrayed Minotauran magic, from what little she knew; her character's starting equipment comes with the choice of an enchanted wand or amulet as a catalyst for her spells and charms, which is divided into several kinds depending on delivery methods*, such as pharmakeia (Through substances and drugs), epodai (Through incantations), katadeseis (Through spell-binding objects like curse tablets), telete (Through mystery-rites) and Goeti (Through summoning or making pacts with spirits, nymphs, daemons and the dead). The rituals and rites included was to her a sign of the dedication the designers put into making the game feel like an adventure through a mythological past.

Twilight looked at Fluttershy, Rarity and Pinkie Pie, still writing up their characters based on the supplementary guides and core rulebook of the Minotaur RPG game. She muttered as she wondered, “I wonder what kind of characters they would come up with…?”

Session 18.6 Mooncalf99

Yes... yeees... this will definitely work. These look perfect. Ah think.

"Applejack."

Plenty o' little stick ones, a few circlies... don't need the squiggly ones. How's a mare supposed ta tell 'em apart?

"Applejack..."

That red dragon one's real pretty. None too overworked like the others. Gotta be worth a lot. Hope I can get another.

"Applejack!"

Applejack finally looked up at the pony trying to get her attention. "What? Ah'm tryin' ta make a strategy here, Trixie."

"Why do you have ten tiles, Applejack?" Trixie asked in an accusatory tone.

In the interest of context, Applejack had not planned on sitting in for a game of mahjong today. She had only dropped by the castle along with Apple Bloom to pick up some alchemical supplies, and had gotten roped into playing when Spike wanted some more practice from Trixie. (Trixie's implication that Applejack probably lacked the skill to play properly had cinched the deal.)

An' ah bet she only said that to lure me,, she thought darkly. Tha' sneaky unicorn. Why's she hangin' around Ponyville all the time, anywho? Doesn't she have a real job these days? Mus' be nice bein' a showpony, gettin' ta take vacations whenever ya like...

Not that Applejack really disliked the pony. She had a very short list for that (topped by a certain pair of scoundrel brothers, followed by some snooty Canterlot ponies, and - for reasons she refused to elaborate on - Bon Bon) and generally avoided grudges in general. Trixie was pleasant enough when she wasn't deliberately antagonizing you. But Applejack would be lying if she said they had a lot of common ground, and lying was sort of absolutely not something she was supposed to do, being the Element of Honesty and all.

On the other hoof, Trixie was the de facto authority on mahjong in Ponyville... a fact she definitely took pleasure from. In that smug way that just kept rubbing Applejack the wrong way.

"That's none a' yer beeswax, Trixie," Applejack replied. "They're mah tiles an' you should look at yer own an' not mine."

"Of course I'm looking at your tiles," Trixie said authoritatively. "A good part of the game is observing the other players - what they discard, how they arrange their tiles, where they discard from, where they're looking, how they react to the gameplay... everything and anything that will let you estimate what tiles the opponents are holding."

"Wow! You can do that?" Apple Bloom said, clearly impressed. The filly had taken to the game with her usual gusto; countless days of crusading had given her a knack for getting the hang of things quickly. Even if she now had her long-desired cutie mark, she still liked learning new things.

"But of course!" Trixie laughed. "For instance, Spike is waiting on a five-Pin or an eight-Pin to complete a Chow he's building up on the left side."

"H-hey!" Spike said, looking like a kid caught with his hoof in the cookie jar. "Don't tell them what I'm planning! Keep that stuff to yourself!" He coughed. "Besides, you don't know that for certain."

"Suuure," Trixie said with a smirk. "So. Applejack. Why do you have ten tiles?"

"Is that a problem?" Applejack asked back.

"Given that you're supposed to have thirteen, yes," Trixie said. "Are you hiding the others somewhere, hmm?"

"Oh, that," Applejack said. "Ah threw them away earlier. They didn't look good, anyway."

"Really," Trixie said flatly. "I'll humbly confess that I missed you doing that completely. Then again, it's hardly a legitimate cheating move since no sensible player would cripple themselves like that. Taking more tiles, sure, but fewer? That's just stupid."

"An' what's that supposed ta mean?" Applejack said, a bit cross.

"How do you plan to complete a full claw without enough tiles, hmm?" Trixie said. "You need a basic thirteen, and a fourteenth draw. Losing three is like cutting off your own hoof during a race. You're destroying your fundamental ability to win."

"...Really? That was important?" Applejack asked with a frown. "I didn't think--"

"Clearly, you did not," Trixie replied snarkily, not missing the chance for a taunt like that. "I thought you Apples were supposed to have super math skills. At least Apple Bloom gets it right, yes?" She smiled at the filly, who beamed proudly. "You, though... honestly, Applejack, I don't think I could make you a good player if I had a thousand years for it."

"Not with that kinda attitude you don't," Applejack said, rolling her eyes. Such hyperbole. Sometimes Trixie was a worse drama queen than Rarity.

"So what happens now?" Spike asked. He was a little annoyed to have the game disrupted, but he had to admit he was learning a few things anyway. "Can't she just draw three new tiles and keep playing?"

"Absolutely not," Trixie said. Her horn lit up, and all the tiles collapsed into the middle and shuffled around under her magic. "Applejack has committed Chombo, a gross and irreversible violation of game play, which means that this round is forfeit and must be started over. Also, she is to be penalized a Mangan - that is, four thousand points to each player, twice for the dealer."

"Whaaat?" Applejack protested. "That's sixteen thousand points! More than half of what ah have!"

"That's really steep, Trixie," Spike said. "I mean, it's not like she knew she was breaking the rules."

"Uncle always said that harsh penalties make for good lessons," Trixie replied. "But yes, the circumstances do call for leniency. So we'll waive the penalty this time. After all, we all have to start as beginners at first, yes?"

"Yeah, thanks, ah'm new at this, you don't haveta remind me," Applejack said. Once Trixie had finished shuffling the tiles, they set about stacking them into walls again. Applejack rather enjoyed that part, actually.

"Besides, nopony said anythin' when Trixie took four tiles," Apple Bloom pointed out.

Applejack's eyes went wide. "...Say *what*?"

Trixie grinned in an oddly proud way. "Oh, you noticed? I was surprised to get away with that."

"Yeah, she did that sleight-o'-hoof thing," Apple Bloom said. "She was gonna take one tile from tha wall, but instead she took four an' put three back. Real fast, too. Ah almost missed it."

"Wow, Trixie," Spike said. "You're calling out Applejack on her mistake when you pull that sort of thing yourself? Isn't that kind of low?"

"On the contrary, little hatchling," Trixie said. "Applejack made a mistake due to her poor understanding of the basic rules, which is something that needs to be addressed and corrected. I cheated deliberately and with full understanding of what I was doing."

"Splittin' hairs, Trixie," Applejack said gravely. "Cheatin's cheatin'. Apple Bloom, why didn't ya say somethin'?"

"Ah would've, but it happened so fast an' I wasn't sure ah had seen it right," Apple Bloom protested. "An' then you an' Spike started arguin', an' I kinda forgot."

"Don't beat yourself over it, Bloom," Trixie said with a smile. "Cheating is just yet another part of mahjong."

"What." Applejack didn't like the sound of that at all. "Yer sayin' cheatin's allowed?!"

"Well, of course not," Trixie said with yet another infuriatingly smug grin. "If you're caught cheating, you're penalized appropriately. But if you're not caught, who's to say you were ever cheating? Goes for all games, really. And since dear Apple Bloom never actually caught me red-hoofed and only accused me afterwards, who's to say it actually happened?"

"Hey, I wouldn't lie!" Apple Bloom protested. "An' you admitted it!"

"I could have been lying about admitting to it," Trixie pointed out. "Generally, even if you're found out later on, you're clear as long as you don't get caught on the spot. Otherwise matters just get too complicated. Why, some dragons even consider it a secondary game!"

"Really," Spike said. He imagined Mina pulling tricks like that, but it didn't seem right. She always was forthright, with him at least. Master Babylon, on the other hand... the ancient dragon probably knew more tricks than there were hairs on Winona's back. No wonder Trixie liked this game so much.

"Oh, yes," Trixie said. She smiled happily. "Trixie remembers Gou-Mou-Pai, the great white trickster of the shrouded mountains. He would often win with white dragons... very appropriate, when you think about it... and it often seemed improbable how often they ended up with him. Then, one day... after Trixie became known as Kokushi Muso... he shared the secret with her."

"An' what was the secret?" Apple Bloom asked, intrigued.

"Simple. He took a drawn tile, like so..." Trixie raised Spike's right arm with her hoof, and put a tile in his claws. "And then he rubbed his talon against the underside so hard the engraving came off! Presto! White dragon!"

"He scraped it off?!" Spike asked in shock.

"Didn't y'all say dragons play with diamond tiles?" Apple Bloom asked.

Spike looked at the tile. This set, a cheaper variant, had been made out of cloudy quartz from Pinkie's family's rock farm and engraved by Rarity. He supposed that he could do that... with a lot of practice... and risk crushing the tile in the process... and be seen by everypony else doing it. Doing that with diamonds, though? With the kind of ease it implied, to do it unnoticed? Not in a hundred years.

"Yeesh, that's extreme even fer cheatin'," Applejack remarked. "Did this Gummy Pie really wreck his pieces just ta win?"

"Gou-Mou-Pai," Trixie corrected. "A great, awe-inspiring white dragon. Not Pinkie's pet gator. And yes. I suppose he did go through a lot of spare tiles. He could afford it, I guess. Anyway, it's obviously a trick I can't use. Even if you didn't catch me doing it, all I'd get is one bruised hoof. Hmm, an earth pony might be strong enough to do it, I guess."

"On the other hoof, yer a whiz at illusions an' stuff," Applejack said. "So you could pull all sorts o' magic tricks."

"Yes, I could. The Great and Powerful Trixie could make the tiles look like anything she wanted, scoring winning claws all the time. Or she could hypnotize you all into playing poorly... though with Applejack, who could tell?" She grinned and stuck out her tongue at Applejack, who just grunted in annoyance. "Trixie could do anything she wanted, really. But where's the challenge in that?"

"Yeah, there's no fun in winnin' the easy way," Apple Bloom said. "Besides, if yer opponents find out ya cheat too unfairly..." She looked at Applejack. "Well, ya know what ah mean. Then nopony would play with ya."

Trixie chuckled. "What are they feeding you, Bloom? Smart cookies? That's exactly right on both accounts. Which is why the Cunning but Fair Trixie prefers to only rely on subtle gambits that aren't so obtrusive, or unmatchable. After all, anypony could master sleight-of-hoof with a little practice."

"An' if ah asked Trixie ta not use any 'gambits' at all, on account a' Applejack not wantin' ta play with a low-down cheater, rules about it be darned ta Tartarus?" Applejack asked.

Trixie looked at her. Then she smiled. "Then Trixie would have to agree to the conditions."

"Just like that?" Applejack asked.

"Just like that," Trixie affirmed. "You would be surprised the lengths Trixie will go for the few friends she has. Or perhaps you wouldn't be. Now, shall we play another round?"

Applejack blinked. "Uh... yeah." She looked a little flustered by Trixie's unexpected admission. "Yeah, that sounds good. I'll get the hang o' this in no time, you betcha."

Meanwhile, on a farm in the middle of nowhere...

"Father?" Marble Pie asked.

Igneous Rock lowered the Geologist's Almanac he was reading and put it aside so he could address his daughter. "Yes, daughter?"

Marble brushed aside her mane that kept falling over her eye. "Father, why do we have a crate of square-cut diamonds in the sub-basement?"

"Those are family heirlooms, Marble," Igneous said calmly. "Do leave them be."

"I haven't disturbed them, father," Marble said. "You've just never mentioned those before."

"Hmm... it must have slipped my mind." The family patriarch tapped his chin. "They once belonged to your great-great-great-great-great-grandfather, who left them with us in the event that we would fall on poor times and need some extra wealth. Of course, with this bountiful land of ours, we've never needed them."

"They're awfully beaten up," Marble observed. "I worried that Boulder had been roughhousing again."

"It's how they should be," Igneous said. "A strong spirit can mark even diamond. A good lesson our ancestor left us."

Marble smiled. "That's very poetic, father." She turned to walk away, then stopped. "Oh, and mother said to tell you that we'll be having shale soup tonight."

Igneous' stomach immediately growled, and he smiled softly. "I look forward to it."

Session 18.7 Alex Warlorn

"Nice of you join in Maud!" Princess Twilight greeted.

Maud Pie's face remained unresponsive. "Pinkie Pie asked me to."

Rainbow Dash whispered to Pinkie Pie. "Are you sure about this Pinkie? I mean, your sister doesn't seem the role playing type... at all."

"Oh Dashie! We're playing one of the Enchanted Comic book adventures remember? It'll be easy for Maud to get into the role!"

"Well, Buttons and Starlight are busy playing Bunnies and Borrow with Angel and Fluttershy, so we're short on players. So we're short on Saddle Rager. So an extra pair of hooves couldn't hurt." Twilight said, coming between the two.

"Twilight! Private chat!"

Maud Pie as usual remained unresponsive.

"Boulder wants to be my side kick." She said fiddling with the rock.

"Uh... not sure if the comic is... attuned to uh... rocks as players." Twilight said.

"I see," Maud Pie said in monotone.

Rarity kept a polite face. "Well Darling, I think it's wonderful you're willing to try new things."

Spike didn't want to think about how Maud's attitude would impact the comic book world. Still, he couldn't exactly ask Maud not to play now. Not after Pinkie Pie had gotten her to agree to visit for a one-off session at all!

But why, WHY DID THE COMIC have to keep making him be Humdrum?! Couldn't he be Saddle Rager this time?!

Zapped into the comic book world, the Power Ponies minus Saddle Rager stood on the roof top, wondering what the adventure hook would be this time.

"Wow Maud! Your costume is... is..."

'Rather underwhelming.' Rarity thought looking at it.

So why was Spike sweeting bullets at the sight of it?

Yellow suit. Red gloves. White cape. No symbol.

Spike pointed at Maud Pie shaking. "Maud!"

"Yes?" Maud said looking at her costume with no expression.

"YOU'RE... YOU'RE... YOU'RE-"

"POWER PONIES! YOUR TIME HAS COME!" Ultrot 3.0 landed on the roof top with them.

"That's the bad guy?" Maud asked.

Spike nervously nodded.

Matterhorn said, "Okay Team! Form up! Spike! What are Maud Pie's super-"

Maud Pie punched Ultrot over the horizon with one strike.

".... She's One Punch Mare... her power is... yeah... that..."

Ultrot 4.0 teleported in. "You may have caught me off guard last time Power Ponies, but with my new and improved-"

And Ultrot 4.0 went into orbit.

"I'm sorry... did I cut the adventure short?" One Punch Mare apologized.

"Uh... don't worry about it." Matterhorn said.

"That's kinda her thing, she defeats her enemies so quickly that other super heroes don't even know she's a big deal." Humdrum explained.

Ultrot 5.0 smashed up through the roof. "YOU DARE! YOU DARE! I WILL DESTROY YOU!"

"I get the feeling the comic doesn't like losing in ways it didn't intend." Zapp said.

"Starting with you Filisecond!" He pointed at Pinkie. And away Ultrot 5.0 went thanks to One Punch Mare.

"Sorry Pinkie Pie, I mean Filisecond, reaction." One Punch Mare apologized.

Matterhorn meanwhile was wondering how such an overpowered hero was allowed in what was supposed to be a group adventure.

Session 18.8 MtangaLion

Button Mash sat slumped at the Cutie Map table, sucking on the straw of his juice box even though he'd already finished it. "I can't believe I lost a game."

Sweetie Belle groaned, but she quickly put on a smile and hugged the colt. "Button, don't be like that. You lost a game of Ogrechess to Princess Twilight."

"He played her for over an hour, too," said Apple Bloom. "Ah didn't last ten minutes when Ah told her not to hold back."

"But..." Button looked over his shoulder at his D-Pad cutie mark. "I thought this meant I couldn't lose."

"Your cutie mark talent is being good at all kinds of games, not winning every time," said Scootaloo. "Besides, wouldn't never losing get... you know, boring?"

Button Mash froze. His propeller beanie actually stopped spinning for a moment. "Games... boring?!"

Apple Bloom nodded. "If ya never, ever lost no matter what, ponies might not even want to play games with ya any more."

Button clapped his hooves to his face. "Nooooooo!"

Twilight trotted back into the map room, tired out, but otherwise all smiles. "Take it from me. Losing means that you can set a new goal for yourself, to improve and do better next time."

Button blinked slowly. "That's a great idea! You have books on Ogrechess strategy, don't you, Princess Twilight?"

Twilight flinched. "Well yes, but..."

"Awesome!" He jumped out of Pinkie Pie's throne and galloped out the door. "Thanks, princess!"

Scootaloo tapped her chin with a hoof. "Is this where we're supposed to write a Dear Princess Celestia letter?"

"Twilight's the Princess of Friendship," pointed out Sweetie Belle. "Maybe friendship letters should go to her now."

"That's okay, girls," said Twilight, twitching a little. "I was right here. There's really no need..."

"But this wasn't a friendship problem," said Apple Bloom. "This was a cutie mark problem."

Sweetie blinked. "So... we should write a letter to ourselves? We're not princesses."

Scootaloo grinned. "But maybe if we work really hard and try all sorts of different things, we can become princesses!"

Twilight took a nervous step back. "Dear Princess Celestia... help..."

Session 18.9 MtangaLion

The Rainbooms' after school band practice was just winding down when the classroom door banged open, revealing a brown-skinned kid with a mop of red hair and a propeller beanie. "Sunset Shimmer!" Button Mash pointed a fist at her. "I challenge you to a game of Ogrechess!"

Sunset facepalmed. "Pony, right? Look, kid... in the human world, when you point dramatically and challenge someone, you're supposed to point with one finger. No, not that one..."

"I lost again!" whined Button Mash, sitting on a stool at Sugarcube Corner next to the human world's Sweetie Belle, who was sitting next to *her* Button Mash, who kept giving his other-dimensional twin jealous glares when he wasn't busy with his GameColt portable. Even the vanilla milkshake they'd bought pony Button wasn't cheering him up much.

"Maybe this'll help," said Sweetie, offering pony Button her own GameColt.

Button Mash grinned and started a game, but his ninja warrior kept lurching every which way, easily getting ganged up on and defeated. "I think this game is broken."

Human Button watched him, dumbfounded. "Why are you hitting it with your fist like that? Use your fingers."

"Huh!?" Pony Button laid a hand over the tiny control buttons, pressing each one in sequence with a fingertip. His ninja did a rising sun kick combo move. "WHOA..."

Button Mash galloped into Ponyville's sweets shop, nearly tipping over a tray of cookies that Bon-Bon was carrying, and skidding to a stop in front of Lyra. "Humans are amazing!" he exclaimed. "They have fingers!"

Lyra grinned. "I know, right? Want to see how I sneak in to use the mirror without Twilight finding out?"

"Do I!"

Session 18.10 Ardashir

"YOW!"

Rainbow Dash ducked, electrical sparks flying from her long scaly tail. The blast of Tartarean fire flew over her head, turning the stone wall behind her into smoldering ruin. Snarling, the lava dragon surged after her.

Behind it, Lord Cherufe, one of the escapees from Tartarus, hissed laughter. Crimson 'veins' showed trough the cracks in his shiny black, glassy outer 'skin' formed of the crust over his lava form.

"So, even when Flashfire brings some of her flunkies in to help her, I and my lavaspawn still prove victorious!" He spewed more lava into the air. The draconic heroes all about him scattered; infused with Lord Cherufe's necromantic power, it could even penetrate dragon scales. The spewed lava gathered itself together into yet another lavaspawn, which promptly flew after a massive pink-maned yellow dragonness and a purple-maned white one.

"Rarity!" A purple dragonness called to her. One of the lavaspawn charged her ad she breathed purple fire on it. The lavaspawn vanished -- only to reappear a hundred feet in the air. Lacking wings, it slammed into the ground, splattering back into the molten stone that formed it. Which spread more destruction, and pain, as it ran under the purple dragon's claws. "OW! Rarity, use your ice breath!"

"Wha-a-at?" Rarity, the white dragon, started. She ducked a swing from 'her' lavaspawn. "Y-you mean... SPIT at it? Like some uncouth ruffian!"

Before she could say any more, fire flashed between her and the lavaspawn, and a lovely brown-scaled pink-maned she-dragon appeared in a purple and yellow uniform.

"No," Flashfire said. "She means, like a dragon -- like THIS!" Flashfire lived up to her sacred trust as the bearer of all of Tiamat's powers by spraying the onrushing construct with her frigid breath. It shuddered to a halt, reduced to lifeless stone.

Nearby, two earth dragons (with noticeably smaller wings) watched in amusement as Flashfire rallied their fellows against Lord Cherufe, sending him fleeing to join his fellow escapees from Tartarus.

"Ah tell ya, Pinkie," Applejack, currently a golden-scaled dragon, said. "When Spike an' his new friend Mina asked us if we wanted ta try out that new magic dragon comic, Ah never thought it'd be quite this much fun. Whoops!" She sprayed her own breath weapon at one more lavaspawn, hitting him with hypersonic wood splinters.

"Yeah," Pinkie, now a bouncy pink-scaled dragon aid as she lashed her tail against the ground, sending earth tremors shaking under Cherufe's flunkies, "but I wish Spike got to enjoy being Flashfire's boyfriend a little more."

Behind them was Spike... hanging upside down from chains set over a pit filled with Cherufe's necromantic lava, and with a surly look on his face.

"'You can be Flashfire's boyfriend', she said. 'You're half the reasons she goes on adventures', Mina said. Yeah, because she has to SAVE HIM EVERY TIME!"

Session 18.11 Zaku789

"Technically it's only in the early comics, and again sorry about not realizing they were releasing them in chronological order, huge oversight on my part," Mina said.

"It's okay," Spike said "While admittedly annoying, it's not as bad as certain stuff... plus at least I got to kick butt before they captured me."

"Yeah, you really hurt Cherufe with that jawbr-" Pinkie began to say but was interrupted as the convict snapped,

"That was a lucky shot! Lavaspawn, double the attack on the pink one."

"Okay now you're just being petty."

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Session 18.0 MtangaLion
Session 18.1 Jarkes (OOC: Okay, I can still make that idea I had a couple weeks ago work even with how the premiere went. Also, I can't actually remember the game Twilight, the rest of the Mane 6, Trixie, Starlight, and the others have been playing. It's the one where Trixie's the sentient star in a pony form. Also, "NRPG" means "Neighponese Role Playing Game", basically a pun on "JRPG". Also, assume that the rest of the M6 and other characters involved in this game are here, but I honestly can't think of any lines for most of them)
Session 18.2 MtangaLion
Session 18.3 Mooncalf99
Session 18.4 Dragon-of-Twilght
Session 18.5 BrutalityInc (A Greek Mythology themed tabletop RPG game idea that I got when watching a walkthrough of the first God of War game. Wrote it partly as a chance for world-building. I’ll leave it for someone to write out Fluttershy’s, Rarity’s and Pinkie Pie’s Champions and what kind of adventures they have in their campaign. Feel free to make up the rest of the gods for the Orosian Pantheon e.g. the Minotauran Mythology expy of Zeus is Ouratheos, which is a word-play of Greek primordial sky deity Ouranos and the Greek word for deity, Theos. Used this as part of the write-up.)
*(Author’s Note: Yes, I actually read a book about magic and magicians in the Greco-Roman world when writing this. It was by Professor Matthew W Dickie, a guy with a PhD in Classical Studies, specializing in Greco-Roman literature, morality and religion. Too bad a spell-list was not included in the book.)
Session 18.6 Mooncalf99
Session 18.7 Alex Warlorn
Session 18.8 MtangaLion
Session 18.9 MtangaLion
Session 18.10 Ardashir
Session 18.11 Zaku789

Cover art by EshianFulika

Session 19

Session 19

Session 19.0 Alex Warlorn (This entry is NOT meant to be taken seriously.)

"So you see Madam Gemstone. We were hoping you could give some answers." Cadence and Shining Armor were currently wearing brown robes and sunglasses (gifts from Auntie Celestia). They could have discussed this with Sunburst, he was their foal's caretaker, but ... Sunburt's books didn't have the answer they sought. "My husband and I... we like... to role play." Cadence blushed.

"I saw the anti-anti-O&O campaign. 'This stallion plays O&O and bagged himself a princess in high school'. Though the music was rather strange."

PON-3's music would seem strange to crystal ponies, who knew Shining Armor's performance to win Cadence's heart was the moment Vinyl Scratch earned her cutie mark?

"Uh... actually," Shining Armor said blushing more. "Not quite what we meant... we like to... role play in the bedroom."

Madam Gemstone herself felt rather awkward hearing this, not sure if this was the sort of thing an ancient crystal pony mystic should be hearing.

"What... sort of things?"

"Well... there was that one time we took turns being the other's maid." Cadence blushed.

"And the time we were pool toys for the evening."

"And, er, the time we turned ourselves into diamond wolves."

"And I wanted to see what it was like to be a pegasus for a evening." Shining Armor admitted.

"And the time as Breezies after hearing about Twilight's adventure... THE SPELLS ARE TOTALLY SAFE I SWEAR! They're all legalish. But totally safe!" Cadence defended.

Flurry Heart laughed.

"My Prince and Princess... I am not one to judge. But what do you wish to ask?" The crystal pony said looking into her crystal ball.

"Could... all the things we did... be the cause for why Flurry Heart was... born an Alicorn?" Shining Armor asked.

"Oh no no, the much more logical explanation would be that you, good Prince Shining Armor, are the incarnation of an aspect of the god of magic, inserted into this reality and you and those who know you given retroactive memories of your existence, so even if for two years a loved one made no mention of you to friends they'd still accept your existence as perfectly fine. Likely done to make positives changes to the timeline. And she inherited your latent divine station from both you, and the awakened divine station of you Princess Cadenza, the incarnation of the goddess of music in pony guise. Praise be to you."

Shining Armor and Cadence both stared for several seconds... then burst out laughing until they were in tears.

"OH THAT IS RICH!" Shining Armor cackled at the absurd theory. His sister, not so much as mentioning or even keeping a picture of him to show her friends for two years.

"I can assure you, there are no 'fake memories' about my relationship with Shining." Cadence said between laughs.

"Oh no, not 'fake', retroactively added to the past."

Shining Armor rolled his eyes. "Next you're going to say Pinkie Pie's sister is the goddess of rocks."

"Oh no course not."

"Thank Celestia."

"Miss Maud Pie is far more likely an incarnation of the goddess of final oblivion."

"I.... think we've heard all we need to hear, thank you for your time!" Cadence grinned and pulled her husband away and got her baby out of the room with her weird royal subject.

+

"Maaaaaud." Marble Pie called out politely but obvious nervious, pulling at a drab on a little round window on their family farm's second floor. "The shadows in black robes are here offering you pebbles in worship again."

Maud Pie wondered if they wanted explanation again the paradox of how she could eat rocks and yet still have Boulder as a beloved pet.

She came out the front door, where they were politely buying rocks from Limestone Pie after she snarled, "Buy something or leave!"

The shadows in black robes prostrated themselves the moment Maud Pie stepped outside.

"... I will answer your conundrum in the Book of Maud if you play camouflage with me and Boulder."

"Innnnn yooooorrr pooocket!" One of the black robbed shadows pointed.

"No he isn't this time. But you're learning."

Session 19.1 Zaku789

"Oww my eyes," Button Mash said. "That's the last time I challenge Mom to a Tetris match. Things got way too weird near the end."

"Hey Button, how are you doing?" Sweetie belle said as four figures walked forward.

"Oh hey Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and-" Button mash blinked then blinked again. He then reacted in a way he thought was appropriate.

"OMGOODNESS!" Button Mash shouted at the sight of Tender Taps "Scootaloo, why are you with a dude version of yourself, and an earth pony!"

"What?" The pony said.

"Ignore him," Scootaloo said. "He been on a 24 hour video game marathon since yesterday and he's still out of it."

"Still its odd that he looks kinda like you," Sweetie Belle commented.

"You find that odd," Apple Bloom said. "My aunt Caramel Apple's a spitting image to Carrot Top and Ah don't mean a little but ALOT. if it weren't for the cutie mark, Ah be confuse as heck, and trust me, we tested both to see if they were a changeling or lost twins and neither were the case."

"Okay...." Button Mash said as he took a closer look at Tender Taps. "Hey I recognize you now, you're from that dance recital. You were awesome."

"OH really?"

"Yeah, you definitely deserve your cutie mark after that."

"Thanks, I appreciate that." Tender Tap said. "And I hope you did well with your game marathon."

"Well it started off good, but then it got weird at the end with Tetris...."

"How so?"

"Let's just say I saw something weird and end it like that," Button Mash said.

Session 19.2 Alex Warlorn

"Wanna play a video game with me?" Tender Taps asked politely.

"No offense Tender Taps, but I don't think you and Button going at it is exactly fair." Scootaloo said.

"Ya play video games?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Almost never, but there is one game that's kinda fun."

"What's that?"

"It's at the arcade."

"Huh? I'm the king of the arcade, there's no way ya can beat me at anything there." Button Mash said with a slightly swelled head. He did have his pride as a games pro after all.

"Oh really?"

Five Minutes Later -

"LET'S NAME SOME NOISE!" Shouted the digital announce as Button Mash and Tender Taps stood on the control stage of Prance Prance Revolution 2 -Remix-.

"Sweet little bumble!" Sang the song, Apple Bloom cringed.

Button Mash's eyes became pin pricks. "Help."

Session 19.3 Mooncalf99

Prince Blueblood - darling of the royal court, most eligible bachelor in Canterlot, and a dangerously shrewd diplomat - was lounging in his richly decorated den. A glass of fine brandy in one hoof, a book on griffon culture and social norms in the other, and a notebook and quill hovering in the air, furiously taking notes.

A polite cough brought him out of his work. He looked up to see his trusted earth pony valet. "Your nine o'clock, sir."

He glance towards the door and noticed the unicorn waiting there. "Thank you, Sleeves. Be a chap and get us some refreshments, won't you?"

"Very good, sir," Sleeves replied politely, and vanished. He didn't teleport away - seeing as he wasn't a unicorn, after all - but rather simply made himself scarce since he wasn't needed at the moment. It was as efficient as it was uncanny, and only of of his many skills that justified his exorbitant wage.

Blueblood gracefully rose from the antique chaise lounge. "You made it after all, my lady. I was worried that you had decided to decline."

"Hmm?" The mare asked. "Maybe I should have. But then, why pass up a chance to lighten Princey's purse?" She held up her hoof.

He smirked and gave it a cursory kiss. "No 'Your Highness'? I'd say spending time with the princess and her friends have given you an independent streak… but then, you always had it, don't you, Trixie?"

Trixie smirked back. "Of course. Princes and princesses may come and go, but there will only ever be one Trixie." She removed her hat and cloak and hung them on a nearby clothes rack. "Now, are you ready to lose again?"

"Cocky as always." He gestured towards the small playing table, with two cushions waiting for them. "Care for a drink?"

"Ice water," Trixie said. She seated herself carefully, moving the cushion to make sure that there were no reflective surfaces behind her.

"You wouldn't rather have something more potent?" Blueblood suggested. "I have a few wines I picked up in Prance recently. Some finely aged brandy from Aunt Luna's own cellar. And a cask of Yakyakistani… well, I'm not sure how it's pronounced, but it's made from milk and definitely a novel experience."

Trixie let out a muted coo. "Ooh, tempting… but no, Trixie learned that lesson in Las Pegasus. No drinking before gambling. Trixie is going to need all her sense around you, Bluey."

He chuckled. "Worth a try." He seated himself opposite her, placing his brandy glass to the right. He paused thoughtfully and moved aside the mirror behind him that had not stood there earlier. He raised an eyebrow at Trixie, but she didn't bat an eye. "Did you bring the cards?"

"But of course." Trixie placed a fresh deck of cards, still sealed in their wrapping, on the table. "You'll find it's clean."

"I'm sure I will." He looked it over for signs of tampering, then broke it open and started shuffling.

Sleeves reappeared with a bowl of potato chips and a glass of ice water, which he placed on the table. "Your refreshments, sir, ma'am."

"Thank you, Sleeves," Blueblood said, cutting the deck a final time. "You may take the evening off."

Sleeves nodded curtly. "Thank you, sir." He disappeared again.

Blueblood deftly dealt the cards. "So how's life with the newest princess and her friends?" He discarded the ace of sun. "Showdown."

"Already? Fast player… I fold," Trixie said. "It's a lot of fun, actually. Twilight Sparkle is definitely deserving of her title as the Princess of Friendship. I kind of regret trying to be her enemy now." She discarded the two of moon, as well as the eight and nine of love.

"Good for you," Blueblood said, dealing her new cards. He discarded the ace of sun and drew a new card, then discarded the prince of moon and drew another. "Showdown. And the others?"

"Fold. Surprisingly forgiving. Most of the time." She smirked. "Though I think Rarity still carries a grudge since a certain Gala." She discarded the eight and ace of friendship, and the ten of sun.

"I see…" he said ruefully, dealing her new cards. He discarded the five of friendship, drew another, then discarded the five of love and drew another. "Showdown. I don't suppose you could somehow convince her she was dealing with a poorly trained actor wearing lifts? And that I was in fact slumming at a club at the time?"

"Very unlikely," Trixie said, not showing the slightest reaction to her cards. "Rarity is far too attentive to details. Fold, by the way." She discarded the four of friendship, the five of moon, and the ace of love. "No, you definitely fouled up that time, princey. National hero, rising star of the fashion scene, personal friend of Celestia's student… oh, and a classy and frankly smoking hottie."

"Rub salt on the wounds, why don't you?" he muttered, tossing her new cards. He discarded the three of love and drew a replacement, then ditched the two of friendship and replaced it too. "And showdown. Well, she did act like the classical gold digger."

"Fold. In your defense, Trixie will have to agree. If she had tried to play up her actual advantages rather than 'look at me, I'm pretty and you'll want to love me', you could have had something." She threw away the last ace, along with the six and seven of friendship. "Maybe. Hard to tell. You may be a touch too duplicitous for her taste."

"Duplicitous? I'm a diplomat!" He dealt her replacements, then ditched the six of moon followed shortly by the prince of sun. "It's my job, after all. Showdown." He made an insulted snort. "You wouldn't believe how Shiny treated me in Yakyakistan, until I saved his sorry flank with my shrewdness."

"Shining Armor? The prince of the Crystal Empire? Twilight Sparkle's darling big brother?" Trixie smirked as she tossed the three of moon and the prince and princess of love on the discard pile. "I've met him. He's a bit of a buffoon. Fold."

Blueblood laughed. "He's not a bad sort. Pleasant enough, and not too proud to admit when he's wrong. He's just… a very, very straight thinker, you know? He insulted the yaks four times in a row and just kept on making the same mistake."

"Like brother, like sister, I suppose," Trixie said. "Twilight did that when they visited as well, or so I'd heard. What is it they say about doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results?"

He laughed again. "Like they say in Stalliongrad, 'you can't drive straight on a crooked road'. Good thing they have ponies like us to back them up."

"I'm hardly Twilight's keeper," Trixie protested. "But I try to bring them some of my priceless wisdom now and then. Twilight's busy with her new student, though. That mare's quite a piece of work. Are you going to deal me already?"

"My apologies." He dealt her three fresh cards. "And is that jealousy I'm hearing?" He discarded the eight of sun, drew another, discarded the princess of sun, then drew another. "And again, showdown."

"Jealous? That's absurd," Trixie said. "What is there to be jealous of?"

Blueblood grinned. "Oh, I don't know. Learning magic… socializing with royalty… getting to live in a castle…"

"Pfft. I'm practically half living in that castle already," Trixie scoffed. "I crash there all the time If I asked nicely, I'm pretty sure Twilight would set me up with a permanent room. And magic? Twilight has barely a beginner's understanding of illusions and stage performance. If anything, I might end up teaching her."

"Well then, what about the chance for a one-on-one with the princess?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "You and her, all alone… together…"

Trixie frowned. "Are you serious? She's my friend."

"So? Or do you prefer to romance your enemies?" Blueblood suggested.

"…Touche," Trixie admitted. "But that's still none of your business."

"Tease," he snickered. "And stop holding up the game. Are you going to fold again?"

Trixie shook her head and grinned. "No. Trixie calls."

He blinked in surprise. "Oh. Okay, then." He showed his cards. "Two pairs, nines and fours."

Trixie revealed her own. "Three guards. Trixie wins."

"Well, well… that was unexpected. So you win… what stakes did we set?" He frowned.

"I don't think we did set any… standard bet, ten bits?" She suggested.

"I usually have hundred-bit stakes when I play with Fancy and the others," Blueblood said.

"Unfortunately, not everypony can bankroll those kinds of risks," Trixie pointed out.

"You can not possibly be protesting a hundred bits." He placed a bag of money in front of her. "Just take it and don't insult my honor."

"Oh, all right, you big foal," Trixie said. She pushed the bag to the side, then scooped up the cards. "So what are the stakes for the next round?"

"How about… if I win, we go clubbing?" he suggested. "I suddenly feel like dancing."

"Really? And what will happen to your reputation when you're seen with a common showpony?"

"Terrible things," Blueblood admitted. "But what if a certain talented illusionist were to work her magic? Nopony would raise an eyebrow if some random colt with a barely passing similarity to the prince were to do it."

"That… is definitely doable," Trixie agreed. "And if I win, you have to drink that yak liquor first."

"Only if you have some with me," Blueblood countered.

"Only if you drink some first and prove that it's safe," Trixie counter-countered.

Blueblood grinned again. "It's agreed, then."

Session 19.4 Mtangalion

"Thanks, Mr. Discord!" shouted Button Mash. "I like this game way better!" His hooves danced across the keyboard of the HoofBeatMania IIDX machine, hitting every one of the blizzard of notes that were streaking down the screen, while Neighponese pop music that only Pinkie Pie could have danced to blasted from the speakers.

Button found a moment to grin and give a hoofs up to Tender Taps across the room, and Tender Taps actually noticed and gave him a hoofs up back, even though he was putting the Prance Prance Revolution machine through a Double Extreme Mode dance routine. Between the two of them, they were drawing quite a crowd.

Button's bonus round song eventually ended, though, and he hopped off the machine to give Snips and Snails a turn. "Whew... my hooves are still tingling."

Discord reappeared in a flash, wearing sunglasses, a hoofball cap on backwards, and a t-shirt with a triangle, square, circle, and X. He smirked, steepling his claw and paw together. "Now, what have we learned?"

Button Mash hoof-shrugged. "I could read all the arrows on the dance machine no problem, but I'm not a dancer. Or... athletic in any way really." He furrowed his brow, propeller spinning a bit faster. "Why should I have to actually exercise and stuff? My special talent is all things gaming, right? What if I wanted to play, you know, hoofball? Heh, not that I would, because hoofball is dumb and boring."

The Spirit of Chaos tisked. "So, you think that you should be able to do *anything* so long you can frame it as a game? Ooh, let's play 'I believe I can fly!'" He poofed into a Supermare costume with 'CGG' instead of the usual logo on the chest. "No wait, let's play the game of politics and rule Equestria!" Another flash, and he was wearing a princely peytral and crown and holding a golden scepter with the likeness of Princess Twilight's head.

Button frowned thoughtfully.

Discord zapped the costumes away, and put an arm around the colt. "Button, Button... you already won the cutie mark lottery. Don't go getting greedy."

The owner of the arcade, a pudgy earth pony stallion with a beard, pushed through the crowd and came stamping up to Discord, red-faced. "Hey, how am I supposed to make any money with that machine!? It only takes Neighponese coins!"

"Well, of course it does," said Discord. "It was never officially exported to Equestria. Why do you think I set it on freeplay?" He nudged Button. "You see? Some ponies just don't know how to bite their tongue and say thank you when good fortune comes their way."

Button Mash gasped, then grinned sheepishly. "Hey, calm down!" he urged the owner. "If you yell at Discord, he'll just take the machine away! The coin boxes are interchangeable, right? Even foreign ones?"

The arcade owner closed his mouth, wheels turning in his head. "Yeah... yeah, that's right!"

Button grinned. "So let's put a regular bit coinbox in! I can help."

Session 19.5 Alex Warlorn

"OW!" Lyra bumped her head her head against the mirror.

Twilight smirked. "Good thing that mirror doesn't work all the time." 'Like when it had Sunset Shimmer's journal in it or isn't part of the normal 2 and a half year cycle. Which is... due any day now. But I'm not about to tell her that. "Now get out of my castle."

+

A promise was a promise was a promise. And Shining Armor had promised Prince Blueblood that he could sit in on one of their games.

"Here ya go." Said Gaffer, as maturely as he could. "I prepared a character for you."

Gaffer had actually resisted the temptation to make Blueblood a joke character that would die in seconds in battle and they could get him out of their manes faster.

"Thank you, but I've brought my own." Blueblood said. "This is the right level for your adventure party isn't it?" He offered a character sheet of his own.

"Wait wait wait, YOU READ the manual?!" Gizmo gasped in shock. Blue blood was known as several things by those who knew the Elements of Harmony. A coward. Spoiled Rotten. Rude. Classist. And STUPID.

"Of course, why wouldn't I of? I'll admit, I was rather surprised at the lack of throwing dice at ogres." Blueblood said. "But I think I shall surprise you. I am in fact a good improvised actor if I do say so myself."

Eight Bit rolled his eyes. "The way I heard it, you did pretty much the opposite at the Grand Galloping Gala. You couldn't role play as a fairy tale prince to save your flank." The fact he was speaking to a Prince of Equestria meant very little when that prince was Prince BLUEBLOOD.

Gaffer meanwhile thought, 'Likely some 'royal mandate all 18s munchkin, well, I have ways of dealing with... hm. "Strength average, constitution below average, wisdom slightly above average, charisma... VERY high... intelligence above average... " What was that joke about players shouldn't be allowed to play characters with a higher intelligence and/or wisdom score than them? "HOLD ON! You chose aristocrat?!"

"There's nothing in the rules against it, I checked."

"But that's an NPC class!"

"There's nothing in the rules against it."

Gaffer sighed, maybe this would take the pompous prince down a peg. "Fine. On you head be it... wait a second, you took the Leadership feat?"

"I'm the correct level, and chrisma score for it. I've provided a list of my cohorts and followers."

"... I am not role playing your servants." Gaffer said matter of fact.

"Very well they can just be in the background serving their function." Blueblood said smiling.

Shining Armor realized what this meant, 'So in other words... the NPCs servants with no personalities or motives or goals of their own... the kind of servants Blueblood I imagine would love to have. Am I the only one to realize this?!'

Gaffer and the others weren't too worried, with Blueblood's legendary lack of common sense, he'd get himself killed, whine about it, make royal threats, be reminded he's on Crystal Empire grounds, and that Cadence could throw him in the dungeon for threatening the friends of her husband, and he'd run away with his tail between his legs, and all would be well.

Gaffer as a professional OM, had an encounter with his adventure party meeting Blueblood and his NPCs horde.

"Good heroes!" Blueblood said. "Would you care to join me in my caravan? I seek high adventure, and I sense so do you! Certainly we could be of use to each other!"

The relatively polite offer was surprising, but the adventurers went along with it.

Blueblood's weapons and armor were the best money could buy but still be within the 'gold value limit' of character's starting at that level. Gaffer was surprised at the lack of a Dancing +5 Keen Flaming Burst Vorpal Sword.

That fancy equipment of course made him actually fairly effective against goblins and orcs. Gaffer again resisted the urge to simply throw a pack of rust monsters at him... he couldn't come up with a good excuse for why they wouldn't attack the rest of the party.

Continuing with the previous session, the heroes found local robber baron half-dragon-unicorn and his entourage. Which include some heavily armored ogres.

Shining Armor sighed... if only Twiley could sit in some games again, her sorceress was always the power house they needed.

"Parlay!" Blueblood suddenly said.

"What?" Gaffer blinked.

"Parlay! I wish to negotiate!"

Shining Armor took out a strange device that his sister had brought back from the other side of the mirror. "Oh no, not this time! I am recording the entire thing!"

-Five Minutes later-

"The bewildered robber baron turns out his fortune to you, thank you for taking it off his hands, and peacefully turns himself in." Gaffer said barely believing it himself.

"HA! I got you now!" Shining Armor said... but the last five minutes only played back static. "What the heck?"

8-Bit said it. "You mean Bluebloood is THAT good not even the recorder can believe it?"

Session 19.6 Alex Warlorn and Mooncalf99

Pinkie Pie innocently found a discard strange device laying around the crystal palace. Didn't ponies know not to leave stuff from other universes laying around unless they were given to you by Megan Williams? Pinkie Pie pushed the play button.

Continuing with the previous session, the heroes found local robber baron half-dragon-unicorn and his entourage. Which include some heavily armored ogres.

Shining Armor sighed... if only Twiley could sit in some games again. Her sorceress was always the power house they needed.

"Parlay!" Blueblood suddenly said.

"What?" Gaffer blinked.

"Parlay! I wish to negotiate!"

Shining Armor narrowed his eyes and took a deep breath. This time, he'd pay attention to Blueblood's tricks. He would be wise to the prince's tricks this time. Besides... out of character, Blueblood was up against Gaffer. He might be able to use his schmoozing on impressionable nobles and unsuspecting yaks, but how long would his act stand up against 'The Demon GM of Canterlot Academy'?

"Well, good sir, to begin with, I do believe there's been a misunderstanding..."

~~~~~~

"The baron points out that he's still outnumbering you," Gaffer said.

"True, but is a life where only strength matter what you REALLY desire for your children?" Blueblood countered.

~~~~~~

"The baron laughs at your quip. He agrees."

"I know, right? Honestly, I'm glad to be out of the capital. At least in these parts, a pit of vipers have the decency of admitting to it. It's a breath of fresh air, really."

~~~~~~

"I'm just saying, a stallion of your ability could do so much better. For yourself, and for your community. Your friends have dreams too, after all. So maybe it would be an idea to..."

~~~~~~

"The robber baron turns out his fortune to you, thanks you for taking it off his hands, and peacefully turns himself in in order to clear his record." Gaffer said, barely believing it himself. "Assuming you do provide him with legal support to ease the process, he pledges you his loyalty as your... vassal..."

"Well, that was a happy turnout for everyone involved, wasn't it, gentlestallions?" Blueblood said cheerily. "Now then, let's proceed, shall we?"

Shining Armor's eye twitched. "What. The. Hay."

Session 19.7 Mtangalion

Fluttershy finished drawing a sketch on her character sheet. "I've decided... my Minotaur Adventures character will be a griffon ranger. She's dedicated to Agrotheron, the mistress of the wild hunt, and Callistis, the goddess of love and beauty. She's skilled with the longbow, wilderness survival and tracking... oh, and she has a timber wolf companion, if that's okay."

Rarity looked up from the reference tome she was skimming. "A griffon? Are you sure, darling? They're fierce and deadly warriors when they need to be, and in the ancient Tauran Peninsula they certainly did need to be."

Rainbow Dash poked a hoof at her. "Yeah, you're not going to cower and hide every time there's danger, are you? Cause, that would really tick *my* griffon off."

"A timber wolf sounds like quite a hooffull, too," mused Applejack.

"You mean, quite a clawful," said Spike brightly.

Fluttershy slammed a hoof on the table, rising up. "What, do you think I'm not tough enough for this game!? My griffon is as tough as they come! After all, why play nice when you can stab your enemies twice!?" Then she fell back into her chair, blushing. "Sorry... was that too much?"

Twilight blinked twice. "No, no, that's great! So long as it's just part of the game."

Pinkie Pie popped up next to Fluttershy from beneath the table and gave her a squeaky grin. "You really did sound tough! Have you been practicing?"

"Um, well..."

Gilda reared up, wings spread and talons splayed as she ROARED right in Fluttershy's face. Birds went scattering out of the trees in all directions... even in the Everfree Forest, not many creatures wanted to mess with an angry griffon. Gilda settled back to the ground and brushed some imaginary dust off her shoulder, keeping it cool. "Okay, now you."

Fluttershy nodded. "Hhhaaaahhhhh!!" she shouted back at Gilda.

"Needs more oomph," said Gilda. "Come on, pony, big deep breath. Pretend like... I just stepped on one of your lame ducklings."

Fluttershy gasped.

Gilda grinned. "Yeah, just picture me stepping on a duckling and *laughing* about it. Ooh, I'm such a big meanie. What do ya say?"

Fluttershy's eyes narrowed, burning red. "Hhhrrrraaaagh!!!" she bellowed, actually blasting Gilda into the air. The griffon had to flap her wings hard to keep from getting blown away.

Gilda panted, combing her crest back into place. "Nice! How did you get the bear roar in there?"

"Um... it's not hard, when you speak bear." Fluttershy smiled, blushing.

Fluttershy grinned at Pinkie. "Yes, maybe I have been practicing, just a little."

Session 19.8 Alex Warlorn

"AAAAHHHH!" Cheerilee shouted as she swung her chain mace.

"HMMMMHMMMM!" Retorted Marble Pie as she met with her war hammer. Both mares dressed in the traditional barding of earth pony knights. The two dueled in Ponyville Square.

"Wow! Cheerilee and Marble Pie are really getting into LARPing!" Princess Twilight Sparkle said looking happily out the window.

"Gee are YOU naive!" Gilda snorted. "Back in Griffinstone I could sell tickets for this!"

"Big Mac shall be mine!" Cheerilee shouted.

"NUH-UH!"

The purple pony finally took the time to notice the unconscious forms of Tealove and Sweetcream Scoops already lay twitching on the ground in similar raiments.

Dash zoomed next to the window. "Don't worry! Here come the Wonderbolt to fix this!"

Fleetfoot zoomed towards the pair, decked out as a traditional Pegasopolis warrior. "HE AND I ARE DESTINY!" She swung down the sword.

"Okay! Okay!" Spike came running to Twilight's side. "I sent a letter to the princess! She'll fix this!"

A black tornado came out of nowhere, reaching down from the sky, which then materialized into Princess Luna, with a lance and decked out in black night guard armor.

"We have fell dragons and battled against fellow gods! Ye shall kneel before thin goddess of the night or be cursed with unending-" The other three jumped her at once. "OW! OW! HEY! OW! We command ye stop that!"

"Uh, wrong princess?" Spike said sheepishly.

Twilight Sparkle cringed. "I wonder how things are going on the other side of the mirror."

+

The youngest teacher in the history of Canterlot High School pounded with the Pinkie Pie's exchange student sister.

"Hmmmhmmm!" Marble Pie taunted.

"I am not too old for him!" Cheerilee hissed, as she traded punches in the boxing ring with Marble Pie. Spike the Talking Dog SOMEHOW had found himself in the position of referee.

"Okay! I've two five bucks on the mute, and ten bucks on freckles!" An older teenage girl in a flight jacket said in the seats surrounding the ring.

"Gilda!" Rainbow Dash snapped.

"Chill Dash, chill."

Session 19.9 zaku789

"I HAVE WINNER!!" Fleetfoot roared incoherently as she was viciously attacking the punching bag for practice.

"Yeesh. How the Devil did ya get this many girls interested in ya?" Applejack asked.

"It's tough bein' the handsome one," Big Mac sighed.

Session 19.10 Mtangalion

Sweetie Belle adjusted her deerstalker cap and blew bubbles on a pipe. She didn't know why she had to do that, but Miss Pinkie Pie had assured her it was vitally important. "The game is ahoof, Bloom! Now then, I bet you are all wondering why I've called you here, darlings."

Three young ponies stood in the uncomfortable glare of the school drama department's spotlight: Scootaloo... Tender Taps, who looked uncannily like a earth pony colt version of Scootaloo... and Archer, who looked like Scootaloo painted blue with a different cutie mark

Sweetie paced dramatically in front of them. "Two ponies looking like cuts-and-pastes of each other is strange, but three is more than just coincidence! One of you three must be a secret changeling!"

"Or a Diamond Wolf in a costume," suggested Apple Bloom.

Sweetie glared at her. "Oh, come on! ... I mean... don't be absurd, darling. There's no way a wolf could fit in a costume that small."

"Ah reckon maybe she could," countered Apple Bloom. "It's a magic costume. Or maybe she's a really small wolf! Nopony knows what that 'Alisa' varmit really looks like, after all."

Scootaloo groaned. "This is stupid! We've spent half our lives doing everything together. Please tell me you can tell I'm me and not some fake."

"And I've been in your class for years," complained Archer. She pointed at Tender Taps. "He's the one that just showed up out of nowhere a couple weeks ago. Him and that dance studio."

Apple Bloom grinned. "Ah thought mah sister had a secret werewolf coltfriend once. Turns out, Ah just overheard one of those scary black and white shaky-camera movies. What were we talking about again?"

"Sorry I'm late!" said another Scootaloo, trotting into the room. "Thanks for covering for me, Kevin!"

The Scootaloo in the spotlight was wreathed in green flames, a shiny black carapace replacing orange fur. "Anytime," said Kevin, buzzing his wings and flying out the door.

"So what's the meeting about?" asked the real Scootaloo, while Sweetie Belle facehoofed.

A few blocks from the school, Kevin slipped into an alleyway and trotted back out looking just like Applejack. A certain white unicorn mare with a purple mane trotted up, walking alongside him.

"Compliments of the prince," said Kevin in Applejack's drawl, hoofing over a folded sheet of paper.

'Rarity' scanned it, then grinned wolfishly.

The next day, Rarity stormed into the Cutie Map room and flung a newspaper onto the table, in front of a startled Princess Twilight. "Racist Game Designer is a Closet Carnivore!" read the page two headline, with a full color photo of 'Rarity' feasting on prime rib, surrounded by griffons cheering her on. "Of course you know, darling, this means war."

Session 19.11 zaku789

Kelvin did a double-take "WHAT THE WHAT! I'm BEING SUED!!!"

Twilight sparkle nodded. "I'm sorry but yes."

"But why, I didn't do anything-"

"A pony saw you change into Applejack and talked to Rarity about something and the next day the paper showed this article," Twilight said holding the newspaper.

"Oh..." Kelvin said. "But what the big deal, she eats eggs!" Twilight just gave a annoyed look as she pointed out the key word in the title. "Oh right... forgot prime rib came from cows... but still getting sue for slander, isn't that too harsh?"

"Look I'm doing this more for your sake. Do you know how mad Rarity is by being label as a racist?"

"Uh..."

"VERY! If she had her way, you and your friend would be begging for mercy by the time Rarity is done with you, and the only mercy you'll have is that she won't harm your loved ones!"

"Ah..." Kelvin gulped. "Suddenly getting sued for slander doesn't sound so bad."

Session 19.12 Mtangalion

Kevin made a sort of awkward buzzing cough, then gave Twilight a sly grin. "Of course you realize... this has all been a most unfortunate misunderstanding! I'm just a simple messenger, after all! An... arranger of this and that. We changelings are so misunderstood."

Twilight arched a brow. "You don't say?"

"Princess Twilight, if I'd known that I was delivering messages to an infamous spy and not the true Lady Rarity... Indeed, I'll be more than happy to cooperate with your investigation however I can."

Twilight smiled. "Then you won't mind repeating your story for my good friend Applejack, surely."

Kevin's face fell. "That wouldn't be my first choice... but of course, of course!"

In the Cutie Map room, Applejack looked at her gathered friends and shook her head. "He didn't lie, exactly, but he's slipperier than Flim and Flam's hair gel, and we've got no hard evidence."

"That's alright," said Rarity, pacing the room. "I have another plan to capture Alisa. This 'Wolf Game' has gone on quite long enough."

Session 19.13 Mtangalion

"I still think we can lure her out with a party!" said Pinkie Pie. "I just haven't thrown one big enough yet!"

Starlight Glimmer crossed her forelegs, deep in thought. "If I went back in time to an event where we know Alisa was present, I could get a detailed scan of her costume and..." Twilight and Spike turned to glare at her. "Right, forget I said anything..."

Rarity cleared her throat. "Let's keep those plans in reserve, shall we? I've asked Princess Luna to aid us."

Rainbow Dash yawned and hovered closer. "What for? We've already got one princess on the case."

Twilight smiled sheepishly. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, Rainbow, but this magic costume of hers is warded against detection spells. Neither Starlight nor I have found a spell that works." She blinked. "But it's far less likely that Alisa's *dreams* are protected!"

Rarity grinned. "Precisely, darling. Luna will be here tonight, and when our wolf goes to sleep, unsuspecting, she's as good as caught!"

"Unless she gets wind of our plan somehow," mused Applejack.

Fluttershy gasped. "Oh my! What if she's here right now, disguised as one of us?"

Rarity chuckled, kneading her hooves together. "Normally, I'd say there was no way she could possibly anticipate our meeting here and now to discuss action against her, but since we can't be too careful..." She reached down and put a big bag on the map table. "I brought plenty of glamour dispelling powder, and no pony or dragon is leaving this room until..." She froze, then started looking all around. "Where's Pinkie?"

Several blocks from the castle, Pinkie Pie skidded to a stop, panting with her tongue hanging out. She leaned against a building and peered around the corner, and immediately got startled by a deep voice behind her.

"Why, howdy there, Miss Pie," said Big Macintosh. "Ya don't seem like yer usual bouncy self. Say... how about we stop by Sugarcube Corner and have a couple of those double chocolate frosted cupcakes? Ah bet that would cheer ya right up."

Pinkie Pie whimpered, then put on a nervous grin. "Heh, heh... maybe later! Ooh, I sense a party emergency somewhere! Gotta run!"

Pinkie hopped around a corner out of sight... then winced, rubbing aching hooves, and took off running again. She reached behind a convenient boulder... and pulled out a miniature party cannon. "What?!" She shoved it back behind the rock, and pulled out a cake topped with lit birthday candles... "Come on, come on..." She threw the cake away and pulled out a baggy costume. "Yes!"

Pinkie dove behind the rock... and Fluttershy trotted away from it, making for her cottage. "Now I'll just help myself to some meat and..." Something small flew through the air, bouncing off her head. "Ow! Who..."

Angel Bunny was sitting on Fluttershy's front porch, tapping a paw impatiently.

Fluttershy blinked. "What's that? I mean... I didn't quite understand. My ears have been a little stuffed up and..." Two more walnuts bounced off her head. "Ow! You're being a bad bunny." Then she grinned wide, licking a raspy tongue over revealed fangs. "A very bad bunny...."

Angel Bunny reached behind his back... and clapped a collar made of solid moonlight around Fluttershy's neck. "You are already within my dream," he said, in Princess Luna's voice.

In the waking world, Princess Luna opened her eyes and ended the spell joining her with the circle of ponies on the floor, all tucked into sleeping bags. "Hah! The prey is caught!"

Rainbow Dash yawned mightily and rolled over, and Pinkie Pie murmured something about double chocolate frosted cupcakes, but Rarity was awake and alert quickly. "It worked? Where is she?"

Luna beamed. "Wait but half a moment, and I will summon her to us." She cast a powerful spell into the Cutie Map table, and another Rarity appeared in a whirlwind of magic, hooves clawing at a moonlight collar around her neck.

"Don't believe her, darlings!" cried the second Rarity. "I'm the real one... she's the wolf!" But Twilight levitated a sack of glamour dispelling powder and dumped it on her head. The fake Rarity's colors ran and dissolved, leaving a patchwork costume that only vaguely resembled Rarity.

The real Rarity grinned darkly, levitating a dozen pairs of scissors. "How I've looked forward to this..."

When all the snipping and yelping and whining was over with, Rarity cleared away the scraps to reveal a small cowering white Diamond Wolf with gray sock-paws and face markings. "Well? What do you have to say for yourself?!"

Alisa moved her forepaws, uncovering her golden eyes one at a time. Then she prostrated herself at Rarity's hooves, and rolled to expose her throat and belly. "You win. You unmasked Alisa. I am being yours now, mistress."

Rarity blinked. "What? Seriously?"

Session 19.14 Kichi

"So... What are we playing today?" Asked Rainbow Dash looking to the others.

"Oh, I have a new power ponies enchanted comic, it's strange because I don't remember buying it, but the messenger insisted it was for me... It seems a crossover where we fight some of the enemies of Batmare and she fight some of our enemies," comment Spike.

The girls, as they don't find something wrong, decide to give it a try.

==

"Okay... That's enough!" Shouted Twilight as they exited from the enchanted comic.

"Ummm... well, that was certainly strange and uncouth..." commented Rarity looking at the others, as Fluttershy was trying to calm Pinkie even when she seemed a little out of touch.

"What's exactly the problem? It was funny!" Said Rainbow as she laughed a little.

"Come on, it was obvious those villains were a parody of us... I mean, the first one, that Riddle villain pony, that was a strange lavender unicorn pony wearing a suit that used enigmas to confuse us and toy with us..." Said Twilight, angry as she looked to the others...

"Come on, really, what was that of 'What weighs six ounces, sits in a tree, and is very dangerous?' and it was a sparrow with a machine gun. That was not funny, even if maybe that could be a coincidence, but then we find a strange yellow pegasus with the power of dominate the plants that wanted to protect her plant friends. After that we find a strange classy white pony with a umbrella that called herself the Queen Penguin and the last one, that 'Jokester' was a copy of Pinkie," commented angry Twilight looking as Pinkie Pie was in fetal position.

"Jokes are not like that, smiles are not evil..." muttered Pinkie.

"I'm very sure that if we continue in there, we could find a parody of Rainbow Dash and Applejack."

"Maybe she'd be Scary Crow? Like her costume that Nightmare Night?" Rainbow Suggested.

"Not helping! Who the Pony Hell created that enchanted comic?" Asked Twilight.

"Errr... Let's see... 'Power Ponies in Gotham', patronized by... QUEEN CHRYSALIS?!" Gasped Spike surprised.

Session 19.15 Dragon-of-Twilght

Rainbow Dash blinked, glancing around the Cutie Map at her friends and then back to the wrapped package in front of Fluttershy. "So... where did you get this again?"

"The stallion who runs the coffee shop gave it to me this morning; he said he had helped with making it and wanted us to play-test it... he was very insistent it be us, actually..."

Applejack and Rarity shared a look at this, and Rainbow raised an eyebrow. "O...kay? I mean, it's been a while since we play-tested something."

"I'm game!" Pinkie bounced in her crystal throne, confetti somehow appearing as she did.

Twilight, deciding not to question Pinkie, slowly nodded. "Okay, I suppose we can give it a try." However, even as she said that, she couldn't shake a growing feeling of dread within her.

Fluttershy simply started to carefully unwrap the package to reveal... another wrapped up package, with a letter attached to it. "Huh?"

The mane 6 blinked a few times, before Twilight managed to grab the letter with her magic and levitate it over to her.

Please exercise a tiny bit of self-control and don't burn this the moment you open it. At least wait until you actually read the story.

Twilight looked around the table as she read the short letter aloud. "Um..."

Pinkie, now more subdued, fidgeted in her seat. "Um... maybe it won't be so bad?"

Applejack was a lot more blunt. "Ah have a bad feelin' about this..."

Fluttershy hesitated, but started to unwrap the next layer of packaging. However, when she looked at the book under the wraps, she shrieked and dove behind her throne.

Dash scoffed. "Oh come on, Shy." She flapped over the table to grab the book. "How bad could-" She saw the book and her eyes shrank to pinpricks. "NOPE!" She tossed it away. "No way, no how, not happening!"

The book slid across the table, ending up in front of Twilight, who could only gape at what she saw. Sitting right in front of her, and already sporting more than a few singes, was a book she'd long since thought gone. "'Warhorse: Equestria'?! We destroyed this!"

"We destroyed it twice!" Applejack slammed a hoof on the map. "How in the hay did the feller who works at the coffee shop git his hooves on it?"

"H-he didn't say," Fluttershy squeaked from behind her chair. "B-but th-then again, I didn't think to ask him."

"To Tartarus with his note," Dash shouted, "lets just burn this and be done with it!"

"Agreed!" Twilight picked the book up and started to channel a fire spell, when another note slipped out from between the book's pages. She blinked then set the book down to read it as well.

Since I doubt my first note convinced you, I'm going to ask you, again, to hold off on destroying the book.

I know what the original was like; believe me, I read it. But, while the original wasn't anything all that entertaining outside of a passing curiosity, I think there's an idea to be found within it. To that end, I've rewritten the story a bit and reworked the setting. I think this one may be a bit more palatable for you; and, if not, well, I had fun making it.

So, please, just read the background info before you decide to destroy it.

----- C.S. Owner and Proprietor of Beautiful Day Cafe.

The six of them (Fluttershy peeking around the throne) all glanced between each other.

"Well..." Rarity shifted slightly, trying to be as diplomatic as possible with her response. "I... suppose we could work give the backstory a glance..."

"Crystals and Rainbows on standby." Pinkie Pie was a lot more subdued, having pulled the game out of nowhere.

Twilight gulped, and slowly opened the singed book.

"Okay... starts about the same, yeah. Discord and Sombra both attacked at the same time.

Lets see... Luna was twisted into Nightmare Moon by Sombra's magic, and helped him gain a strong foothold in Equestria. Celestia... sacrificed herself in a fight with Discord and transferred her power to... BBBFF?!"

The other five collectively blinked. "Huh?"

"That's what it says." She turned the book to show a picture of Alicorn Prince Shining Armor. "Apparently, the six of us were still corrupted in this version; three by Discord and three by Sombra. But the Elements all passed to others." She turned the page. "Apparently, Spike took over the Element of Magic from me."

"Really!?" Spike hopped up and grabbed the book. "Huh. It says here I'm in full greed mode, but I use the element to keep myself sane... and I train other mages in Equestria's army."

"Yes." Twilight grabbed the book back form him. "That seems to be the default for the new elements; heading armies for Equestria. Big Macintosh has Honesty, and Sweetie Belle got Generosity; Laughter went to Cheese Sandwich, and Kindness and Loyalty went to... Seabreeze and Gilda?!"

"What?" "Really?" Said Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy respectively.

"Yeah," Twilight barely seemed to believe it herself as she continued to read. "Apparently, the breezies can't harvest the pollen they need with Equestria in this state, and the gryphons don't want to be taken over by Sombra and Discord, so they both Allied with Equestria."

"So Ah'm guessin' there ain't nothin' keeping Equestria sealed in this one."

"Well... there is and there isn't." Twilight skimmed over a few more pages. "Apparently, Sombra has tried to seal it off, but Cadance's magic is highly damaging to his own and she's managed to keep some of the borders open. Discord's antics haven't helped him much there either. The two are as much enemies to each other as they are to Equestria, and they're each the main reason the other hasn't overwhelmed Equestria yet."

"What about Tirek?"

Twilight skimmed a few more pages. "He's not in here, but the author has some notes that say he's working on a module to add him later. He also says it's just a first draft, so he wants us to try and break it as much as we possibly can."

The mares all looked at each other, it was finally Dash who spoke up. "Well... it doesn't sound nearly as bad as what it was based on; I say we give it a go."

AJ nodded. "Might as well; I'll get to work on drawin' up some character sheets."

"I'll get some snacks." Pinkie Pie gently placed her game on a nearby shelf, just in case, and pronked off to the kitchen.

Twilight, sighing, set the book down on the table and started copying the game map on a large sheet of paper. Nopony seemed to be raising any objections, so they might as well see where it goes.

Session 19.16 Alex Warlorn

Rainbow Dash waved her hooves in the air, "Why the heck would Nightmare Moon work with Sombra? Ponies can't worship her as Equestria's one true Princess if they also have to answer to Sombra. And Sombra has as much reason to hate her as Discord since she was involved in both their first defeats. ... What? Reading all those Daring Do books got me to appreciate the whole 'in character' thing."

Applejack said slowly, "If Big Mac is honesty, I guess that means draconequus me didn't turn all our kin into draconequus too and have Apple Bloom throw away her family name as the last Apple making our family effectively extinct... "

Twilight said, "At least Celestia, BBBFF and Cadence aren't Sombra's minions in this. But that still doesn't explain where the heck Sombra got the power to turn ponies into crystalized minions. If he could have corrupted the crystal heart he'd have done that instead of hiding it."

Rarity asked, "Why not destroy it?"

Twilight answered, "I don't think Sombra wanted his slaves to freeze to death, I don't think even he was quite insane enough to want to be king of nothing."

Dash asked, "What about Discord turning us into Draconequus?"

"He's Discord, I'd be more surprised if he COULDN'T do that... but I imagine Discord might be happy if he's the ACTUAL supreme spirit of chaos here instead of a minion to an EVEN BIGGER absolute force of chaos like in the first version, I didn't check."

Applejack said, "It doesn't mention Apple Bloom and her friends giving up their cutie marks to get back the Elements..."

Twilight said, "Considering their special talent is getting a pony to remember their true destiny, I think that's likely a plus. My main concern is that when they were the bearers of two elements at once in the ... original... version, they way they embodied those virtues weren't ways I'd ever want to see them expressed. Sombra and Discord had already won in the way that matters when you have an Equestria that has to be ruthless and brutal as the enemy to survive."

Rainbow Dash asked, "Like how the Jokester would take it as a win if he ever got Batmare to break her 'no kill rule' and killed him?"

"Yes!"

Rarity asked, "You don't seem as... angry as I thought you'd be darling at hearing Celestia had... sacrificed herself."

"It's... it's something she'd do and... it's better than having her character and her likeness dragged through the mud like the first version did."

Session 19.17 Alex Warlorn

Princess Twilight took in a deep breath and sighed. "Even if half a dozen mares are making fools out of themselves trying to win Big Mac like he was some sort of prize... at least I can take solace in that I don't have ponies dueling over me... "

Twilight should have known better than to say that.

Star Wars, Duel of Fate -

Starlight Glimmer back pedaled into the room of Twilight's castle, as Sunset Shimmer chased after her.

Enchanted hilts were held in the grip of their telekinesis. A energy blade was projected from the hilts' base, clashing and sparking as the two mare epically dueled in front of Princess Twilight Sparkle.

"THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE APPRENTICE!" Sunset Shimmer shouted, flaring flaming wings. "No more, no less! And it shall be me!"

"I won't have friends taken from me a third time!" Starlight Glimmer shouted in defiance. The unicorns then did impressive backflips across the table, followed by Sunset punching Glimmer in the face when their weapons locked again.

"GIRLS! GIRLS! STOP!" Twilight shouted. "There's no need for violence! And where is that dramatic latin chanting coming from?!"

Twilight pulled the ~~lightsabers~~ beam swords out of their telekinesis. "There! Now we can discuss this reasonably!"

Without missing a beat, like the unicorns of ancient times, a blade of light extended from their horns and continued their battle. And the background music entered its second movement.

Princess Luna looked inside via a window and gave a cry of delight. "Forsooth! We doth thought that all our of the tradition of old were extinct! Our royal heart is truly warmed this day!"

Twilight sank to the floor and covered her eyes giving a moan of frustration and misery. "At least Trixie isn't here as a contender..." Twilight realized what effect her words had had before and looked around in terror and fear knowing EXACTLY what was about to happen.

Session 19.18 BrutalityInc

The main doors of the Friendship Castle throne room swung open, and a unicorn with a dark, sinister, yet strangely familiar cloak draped over her body came forth towards the Cutie-Map table.

"There are always two." The unicorn mare began, as she pulled back her hood to reveal her identity. "A master and a student, one to embody power, the other to crave it."

Trixie's eyes narrowed, and her horn glowed. Another enchanted hilt came out from under her cloak. With a flick of her magic, it activated - and two arcane beams, one from each end of the hilt, appeared.

"There can be no other student, and there can never be, except for I!" Trixie finished her declaration, spinning and whipping her double-bladed beam sword back and forth in a stunning display, before putting on a stance and pointing her hoof towards one of the dueling mares, "Starlight Glimmer! I challenge you for the honour of being Twilight Sparkle's student!"

"Get in line, usurper!" Sunset Shimmer snapped at her, even as she deflected magic missiles from Starlight Glimmer and prepare to unload a bolt of lightning at her adversary in turn.

Twilight Sparkle merely face-hoofed in exasperation as Trixie Lulamoon plunged into the fray.

I wonder if Discord has anything to do with this...

Session 19.19 Dragon-of-Twilght

Elsewhere.....

"I sense something," Discord said, looking off into the distance. "As if a pony was cursing my name, and their own existence at the same time."

The wind stilled, the birds became silent, background music started to ominously play as the lighting in the immediate area began to darken...

"Eh, it's probably nothing." And everything suddenly snapped back to normal. "I wonder if Fluttershy has the time for a spot of tea."

Session 19.20 Alex Warlorn (Spoilers for Gauntlet of Fire)

"So ... no parasitic little black clouds today?" Gaffer asked.

"No parasitic little black clouds." Shining Armor confirmed.

+

"Spike... take a letter... TO PRINCESS CELESTIA this time... Spike... where'd you go?" Twilight asked concerned for her little baby dragon.

"MINE!" Echoed a massive terrible voice.

Twilight's eyes became pin pricks. "Oh no."

She looked out the window. But saw not Spikezilla. Instead, she saw poor little Spike... being fought over like a favorite doll, by two greed-growth spurted drakainas (which she had learned was the formal name for a female dragon).

"LET HIM GO! AS YOUR DRAGON LORD, I COMMAND YOU!" Shouted a large blue dragon holding a scepter with a glow red stone atop.

"THE WHOLE REASON WE FOUNDED DRAGON TOWN WAS TO GET AWAY FROM YOUR DAD! AND BY TIAMAT I'M CERTAINLY NOT TAKING YOUR ORDERS!" Shouted an equally large brownish dragoness with a large pink mane. "WE AREN'T BULLIES LIKE YOU!" Mina verbally threw down the gauntlet.

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK! AND I'LL TAKE SPIKE!" Dragon Lord Ember snarled.

"NOT ON YOUR LIFE! I'M GONNA TAKE YA DOWN LIKE GLOOMSDAY DID SUPERSTALLION!"

They rammed against one of the crystal castle's towers... cracking it...

"At least things can't get worse." Twilight gasped in horror and covered her mouth. Too late.

"MY SPIKEY-WICKEY!" Boomed a large, beautiful white dragoness with purple ridges and wings, and gorgeous blue eyes. In spite of his terror, Spike couldn't help but think he'd never found Rarity so attractive as in this moment. "I SAW HIM FIRST!" Spike thought that even Rarity's fire breath was lovely.

"... When I find out who did that species-transformation spell for her..." Twilight said darkly.

There was now a three way dragon brawl over Spike going on above Ponyville.

Twilight dimly recalled that she'd been wanting to open a trade agreement with Dragon Lord Ember for pillows that some dragons desired. But the traditional dragon mentality of 'want, take, have', made it a difficult to explain how trade WORKED to the Dragon Lord, even compared to the Diamond Dogs, not Ember's fault, she'd lived her entire life amount dragons.

Twilight truly wished she knew the mailing address of Mina's grandfather right now. Plus, if the dragon head of state destroyed Ponyville over Spike... Twilight didn't think dragon/pony relations were really going to improve. Not to mention poor Rarity.

"TRIXIE! I NEED YOUR HELP!"

"A little busy Sparkle!" Trixie shouted as she was still trading laser blade blows with Sunset Shimmer and Starlight Glimmer. And still wearing that black costume.

And the exciting and high paced background chanting wasn't stopping.

"Princess Twilight Sparkle." Princess Luna said. "We believe that while we approve of the rites of succession in such manners, and we do not wish to intrude on what is clearly an internal dragon matter... and we are still working out time share among the other mares wishing to share Sir Big Macintosh... we do believe things have gotten out of hand."

Twilight Sparkle gave her senior Princess a lot that screamed 'You think?' so loud that if it was audible, they'd have heard it in Neighpon.

"Ye have need of Trixie?"

"Maybe. She knows Mina's grandfather, one of the dragons lost in dragon greed right now."

"And the other is fair Rarity, unused to dragon instinct, and the last is Tiamat's new proxy among her children? Very well."

Luna then zapped Sunset Shimmer and Starlight Glimmer, they fell asleep on their hooves.

Princess Luna then said in the royal Canterlot Voice. "Tis duel is suspended until the dragon crisis is solved!"

Trixie... didn't feel in the mood with argue with the former Nightmare Moon.

Twilight realized the chanting hadn't stopped. "Wait a minute." She marched to the nearby closet... and tore it open... revealing three mutant seaponies.

"YOU!" Twilight Sparkle snarled darkly.

"Uh.... hi?" Sanato meekly waved with a fin. "Uh... we're storing up food for the long winter months?"

"Twilight Sparkle," Adagio began darkly, then fell flat on my muzzle after she tried to rise up and look down on the young Alicorn. "Agh! I forgot how fins aren't very useful on land! This was so much easier when I could just levitate."

"So THAT'S WHERE THAT SLIMLY TRAIL CAME FROM THIS MORNING!"

"Hey! We're not slimly!" Aria protested.

"But you are about to be deep fried! I thought you lost your power!"

"If we had it back, would we be hiding in your closet?" Adagio grumbled. "We can't sing to save our lives in the human world, literally. But there's enough ambient magic in Equestria to do a normal heart song. YOU took away our ability to feed in case you forgot!"

"We didn't MAKE THEM want anything like we did with all the thralls, I mean students at your high school, we just... gave things a tiny nudge? I mean... a girl's gotta eat right?" Aria defended.

"Thanks for showing us where the portal was by the way." Sonata said to the sleeping Sunset Shimmer.

"That's it. I'm done leaving that portal open all the time." Twilight said.

"Trixie is very confused." Trixie said looking at the three sirens in Twilight's closet.

Twilight noticed that the mares hadn't stopped fighting over Big Mac, nor had the dragons stopped fighting over Spike, and Trixie still had in the look in her eyes to want to duel Sunset and Glimmer to be Twilight's student. Of course. Why would they stop? Why would it be that easy?

"NOT ANOTHER PEEP OUT OF YOU!" Twilight hissed and slammed the closet door closed and locked the sirens inside until she could toss them back into the human world and let Sunset deal with them.

Twilight felt the headache coming. "This is gonna be a long day."

Session 19.21 Grogar-the-oneser (Edits by Alex Warlorn)

"So let me get this straight, it was you who cause that spell to make Rarity into a dragon...." Twilight glared at Alisa, all three dragons were knocked out cold with a large bump on their head.

"My mistress asked me for help, and I gave it to her." Alisa shrugged.

"I guess I should be thankful you didn't somehow shrink the dragons to pony-sized," Twilight grumbled as it would be harder to knock the dragons out if they were able to continue their fight throughout Ponyville's various alleys. At least in greed-growth size she got a good clean shot at knocking them out without anymore property damage.

"Twilight I don't think I like girls fighting over me, even Rarity was being a bit too rough," Spike muttered. "Anypony knows a good chiropractor?"

"Don't worry Spike I doubt that they'll reach that level of fighting over you again," Twilight said. "And as for you three, are you done fighting over being my apprentice or are you going to continue to be obsessive jerks about this?"

"Well, we probably won't be acting like 'obsessive jerks' soon if it means you'll react like this," Sunset said. All three were straight jacketed and stuck in the air via a levitation spell.

"Seriously Sparkle, even Trixie thinks this is overkill for a little dispute," Trixie said.

"A LITTLE-" Twilight breathed in then breathed out. "We will discuss the intensity about what you three were doing later.

"Now as for you Big Macintosh, I'm assuming you wish it be settle in a calm matter and not in a way that would cause a lawsuit, especially since I'm assuming Sweetcream Scoop was just flirting in a playful way like she does for everypony, and not being crazy about it like the others."

"Yep."

"That happens often in Ponyville?" Sunset asked.

"Cloud Kicker is still not speaking to Sweetcream Scoop for making making the town think Cloud Kicker was a mating crazy mare."

"Objection, while we too were seeking to claim our right upon Sir Big Macintosh, we were trying to end the conflict as quickly as possible," Luna said annoyed.

"I know I was referring to Tealove, Fleetfoot, Cheerilee, and Marble Pie," Twilight said equally annoyed.

"Oh.... in that case please continue," Princess Luna said.

"I suggest going on a date with each mare on a different month and try to see which one you like best," Twilight said.

"We still said our idea was best Pricess Sparkle."

"Oh yes a harem, which in this state of mind would end in a fourway homicide." Twilight said.

"Well, when ye say it like that..." Luna said with a roll of her eyes.

Session 19.22 Ardashir

"Cadence, honey, did you see my three authentic hoof-made lightsabers?"

"No, and given how much it cost to have somepony make you real lightsabers, I think you'd keep a better eye on them!"

+

Rarity frowned at her new assistant. The she-wolf Alisa tried and failed to look innocent.

"Alisa, dear, while your -- loyalty, is appreciated, please don't steal any more spells out of Twilight's books. She'd let you borrow them if you had a good reason."

"I wanted to change my pack alpha into a dragon so she could defend her chosen mate-to-be from rival females. I didn't think Princess Twilight would see that as a good reason."

"... Well, you've got me there."

Sweetie Belle came into the room. "Hi, big sis! Hi, Alisa! Can we play again?"

Alisa cringed as Sweetie stood aside, revealing a tea set in her room. And several dozen ribbons and bows meant to be tied into a wolf's pelt.

"Mistress Rarity, must I?"

"You know the rules, Alisa," Rarity picked the wolf up with her magic and put her inside her little sister's room. Alisa yelped as the door closed and Sweetie descended on her with eyes gleaming and half a dozen bows in her magical grip. "If you do something wrong, you have to entertain Sweetie by doing whatever she asks. But only for an hour. That dragon-form spell was VERY helpful!"

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Session 19.0 Alex Warlorn (This entry is NOT meant to be taken seriously.)
Session 19.1 Zaku789 (
http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/1/16/Caramel_Apple_ID_S2E14.png/revision/latest?cb=20140701044451
and the inspiration came from this comic

http://www.deviantart.com/art/Aim-for-its-weak-spot-595077113)

Session 19.2 Alex Warlorn
Session 19.3 Mooncalf99
Session 19.4 Mtangalion
Session 19.5 Alex Warlorn
Session 19.6 Alex Warlorn and Mooncalf99
Session 19.7 Mtangalion
Session 19.8 Alex Warlorn
Session 19.9 zaku789
Session 19.10 Mtangalion
Session 19.11 zaku789
Session 19.12 Mtangalion (edits made post 19.16!)
Session 19.13 Mtangalion
Session 19.14 Kichi
Session 19.15 Dragon-of-Twilght
Session 19.16 Alex Warlorn
Session 19.17 Alex Warlorn
Session 19.18 BrutalityInc
Session 19.19 Dragon-of-Twilght
Session 19.20 Alex Warlorn (Spoilers for Gauntlet of Fire)

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Was tempted to have the slime trail turn out to be fire snails... that Dragon Lord Ember solves the dragon way... by eating them.

Showing a culture clash between how ponies and dragons deal with pests. Was also tempted to have the dragons' brawl knock the castle slightly of center leaving the leaning power of Pisa, but wasn't sure how to make the joke work.

Session 19.21 Grogar-the-oneser (Edits by Alex Warlorn)
Session 19.22 Ardashir

Cover art by Exifia ￼

Session 20

Session 20.0 Grogar-the-oneser

"Let us out of here!" Adagio snapped. They were back in the human world as Twilight had sent Sunset back after promising both her and Trixie they would discuss the apprentice thing later in a hopefully more peaceful matter without any straightjackets or lightsabers involved. "It's been two hours already!!"

"Yeah, open up! I can't stand her whining anymore!" Aria added annoyed.

"Sorry but Twilight said to keep you in there for two and a half hour till you learn your lesson about causing international incidents, apprentice battles and lover quarrels," Pinkie (The human one) said. "Don't worry though you've already reached two hours, you only have thirty minutes to go."

"Thirty minutes! What are we suppose to do until then!" Aria snapped.

"Wanna played hangman?"

"OH! me, me! I wanna play hangman!" Sonata's voice said excitedly.

"Great, let me get a min- chalkboard and a chalk and we'll get started." Pinkie said as she left to find said items.

"I hate my life right now. No wait scratch that, I hate everyone else's life at this moment due to being continuously roadblock to what should have been a good feast." Adagio muttered.

Session 20.1 Alex Warlorn

"Nothing will stop me from covering all of Equestria in Trees! BWAHAHAHAHH!' Cackles the deer king!"

"Not if I can help it! Smite Evil!" Declared Shining Armor.

"'AAAAAAAGH!' I have the right of nature on my side! How could you oppose me!?!'" Said Gaffer.

"Ya know, if the REAL King Aspen finds out about this, we're likely in for another incident." Gizmo said.

"Don't worry about it." Said Eight-Bit. "This game is just for us. It's not going to be distributed."

"And believe it or not, Chrysalis provided security so deer DON'T find out about this game." Shining Armor said.

"WHAT?!" Gizmo exclaimed. "SHE, helped YOU?"

Shining Armor shrugged. "I barely believe it myself. She said something about hating the deer almost as much as she hates Celsetia."

"I wonder what happened." Gaffer wondered.

The world got wavy and harp music played.

-Several Thousand Years Ago, Maybe-

"Lala-lalala-lala-la-la!" Sang Princess Chrysalis, happily skipping along in the grassy field licking her love flavored ice-cream.

Then she ran straight into the rather scowling face of some creature else.

"You hurt flower!" Prince Aspen snorted pointing behind her.

Princess Chryssy looked to see she'd stepped on a daisy, in a field full of them.

Without another word, the Prince slapped the love flavored ice-cream out of her cone, where it splattered on the ground. Then he trotted away smiling heroically.

Princess Chryssy fell on her hocks and broke down crying. "WHAAAAAAAAAH!"

Session 20.2 MtangaLion

Princess Twilight settled comfortably on a couch. A magically preserved Neighgyptian tome rested on a book stand nearby. The cover had a triangle with an red eye, above the title inscription 'Games to Play with Ponies.' She levitated a blank book and a fresh quill, ready to begin writing down her translation.

Twilight took a deep, cleansing breath. "Finally, some peace and quiet." She hesitated, then looked left and right. "I've got to stop saying things like that." She chuckled. "Maybe I should start taking sips of tea instead, like Celestia." She pressed the quill to the paper and began to write...

"Really!?" bellowed Starlight Glimmer from somewhere in the castle, loud enough to startle Twilight into snapping the quill. "Really? I can't believe that even you would do something like this!"

"Exactly what are you implying by 'even me,' darling?" shouted Rarity's voice back at her. "Care to explain?"

Twilight counted to five, fuming, then judged that the voices were coming from the study and teleported herself straight there. "Okay, what's this all... about?"

If somepony had told Twilight to expect a Diamond Dog wearing a dress, Twilight might have laughed despite herself. Alisa in a Prench maid's uniform was something else altogether... she looked elegant, fur groomed to perfection, wearing a neatly tied black ribbon on her tail and carrying a silver tray balanced on a forepaw. "Your highness!" she spoke, sounding like Octavia of all ponies. "Would you care for a cup?"

Starlight groaned. "Tell her, Twilight! Tell Rarity that Alisa isn't her pet or her servant!"

Alisa turned her nose up at Starlight. "I beg your pardon, Miss Glimmer, but you are mistaken. Lady Rarity is indeed my alpha, and I take great pleasure in serving her. Are you certain you won't try the chamomile? It's freshly brewed."

Rarity winced slightly. "Is it the outfit that's upsetting you, darling? I must confess, that was rather a surprise to me as well. Alisa pleaded with me to allow her to dress up and play some role, if I wouldn't permit her to use those full-body costumes again. If you'd seen that face, with the drooping ears and the puppy-dog eyes..."

"You know it's not that," grumbled Starlight. "She's a talented and intelligent person, considering all those impersonations she pulled off... and that dragon transformation spell definitely wasn't amateur stuff either, but for some reason..." She gritted her teeth. "She won't even stand up for herself and demand to be treated equally! She insists on being subservient!"

Twilight silently counted to ten this time. "Rarity, I assume you've talked about this with Alisa?"

"I have tried," said Rarity. "Perhaps it's best if she tells you herself. Please answer their questions, Alisa, and speak in your normal voice too, if you would."

The wolf frowned, and set the tea tray on one of the study tables. "I will speak like Diamond Wolves speak, then. Alisa... is not talking so much. I don't know how she should speak."

Twilight jumped a bit, the tone of voice was so completely different. "So... If Rarity told you to go back to the Diamond Wolf clans... what would you do?"

Alisa grinned toothily. "I would be happy that Lady Rarity is sending me to begin a new Wolf Game. I am knowing many naughty tricks we could play on former master Prince Erik, many secrets we could be exposing to embarrass him. I promise, I'll be much more careful and not get unmasked again."

"But what if, hypothetically speaking, you did get caught?" asked Twilight.

Alisa shrugged. "I would be serving new alpha, probably playing many tricks on ponies to get even for ponies getting even with wolves. That's the Wolf Game."

"Wait, wait," said Starlight crossly. "Who said anything about starting a new Wolf Game? What if Rarity told you to go home and do whatever *you* want to do?"

Alisa tilted her head, fluffy tail flicking. "Home is here, where Lady Rarity is, where my pack is." She grinned toothily again. "And Lady Rarity is wise, much smarter than Erik! If she is saying 'You decide yourself how best to serve the pack,' then I will be happy that Lady Rarity is trusting my judgment!"

Starlight magically yanked on her own hair. "How does she do that? How does she keep twisting everything I say?"

"Gee, I can't imagine," deadpanned Twilight.

"Wait, wait... aha!" Starlight pointed a hoof. "You said you'd be happy to play the Wolf Game again. Does that mean you'd be *unhappy* if Rarity kept you here in Ponyville and *didn't* start any new games like that?"

Alisa scratched at her chin with a paw. "No Wolf Games?" Her face lit up. "Why... then I would be greatly flattered, knowing that Lady Rarity values my service so much that she is not wishing to risk me in another game!"

Starlight facehoofed. "If Alisa had a cutie mark, I swear, I'd steal it right now!" She trotted over, magically grabbed a teacup, and swallowed the contents in one gulp. "I give up. If everyone's fine with it... then I guess I am too, just so long as you're paying her for the work."

Princess Twilight seized on that. "Alisa, would getting paid like a live-in pony maid would offend you?"

"Oh, and a tutor as well," said Rarity brightly. "She could teach Sweetie Belle a bit of magic when Twilight's occupied."

Alisa pondered that. "I like this idea. I will be having spending money for new costumes and tasty meats at the griffon restaurant." Rarity gave her a look. "As wolf, not pony. Mistress Rarity should get over it. It was a good joke."

"That's another hour with Sweetie Belle, darling."

Alisa growled briefly. "Can I be putting on Pinkie Pie costume and teaching pack alpha to have a sense of humor?"

"Two hours!"

"Good, good! Mistress is learning humor already!"

Session 20.3 Grogar-the-oneser

Mina's grandfather, Master Babylon and Former Dragon Lord of Equestria Torch were staring face to face. Both were seen by their respective faction as the bitterest of enemies ready to slit the other one's throat. Right now both were fighting in a fierce battle.... of Go.

"So you're saying you had no idea that young Spike was a member of pony society?"

"No, the call was supposed to just summon dragons in Equestria that aren't residents of Dragon Town. Nothing more, nothing less. Didn't expect there was a dragon living in Ponyville," Torch rumbled a he move a piece carefully.

"If it makes you feel better he didn't know Dragon Town existed till a fire-slug incident," Master Babylon stated.

"What, did somedragon lose their lunch and let the things overpopulate?" Torch said.

"Possibly, I didn't get all the details myself," Master Babylon calmly said. "Though I heard Celestia herself say she tried to tell the boy earlier about Dragon Town as an alternative to the Migration during last Great Dragon Migration but her letter was burnt to a cinder apparently."

"Hmm, well don't bother asking me who did it, I wasn't their for the last Migration. What I do know is, he had guts for sticking with the trial for the Scepter, despite getting my pardon," Ex-Dragon Lord Torch said. "He's got guts, I'll give him that."

"On that, I can completely agree with you," Master Babylon nodded. "By the way, it's nice that we old timers have a chance to play this game."

"I guess," Ex-Dragon Lord Torch said. "I prefer a nice game of rugby myself."

Session 20.4 Zaku789

"What the heck is Pinkie doing?" Sunset asked as it looked like Pinkie was doing her laundry, while on a live-wire.

"Extreme ironing," a voice said.

Both girls blinked. "What?"

"Extreme ironing," Maud repeated as she and Limestone walked into view. "Its a sport that double as a performance art."

"...By ironing?" Sunset asked slightly incredulous.

"If you hadn't notice people who do this sport apparently do so in weird locations. In Pinkie's case, she doing so on a live-wire," Limestone said annoyed.

"Okay, that can't be a real thing," Rainbow said. "It's obviously something you Pie sisters made up just to mess with us."

"It's a real thing, look it up," Limestone said annoyed.

"We will and it will show us that it's not a-"

-30 minutes later-

"REAL THING?!" Dash said shocked as she watched the video showing extreme ironing.

"Hmm.... you know, I'm now kinda curious as what kind of cutie mark one would get if their life talent was that sport," Sunset mused.

Session 20.5 Mooncalf99

"Okay, so you approach a large, wheel-shaped space station spinning slowly in deep space," Spike said. "What do you do?"

"What's the sitch on the juice in our cruise?" Rarity asked.

"Well, you're not dry yet…" Spike said.

"We should probably tank up anyway," Applejack said. "No need ta take risks."

Tonight's game was held in Rarity's boutique, to help maintain the party split until Twilight decided to reunite the groups. Sunburst had been offered an opportunity to sit in there as well, but he said that having one character was enough for him (although he thought that Starlight's split-character concept was quite ingenious and novel, a statement that had made the mare curiously red in the face for some reason) and was instead taking the opportunity to sample the castle library. Rarity had taken the opportunity to play the gracious host with tea and cake, and a terrible disaster had narrowly been averted just earlier when Sweetie Belle had tried to help out.

"Do we have any idea they came this way, though?" Discord asked. "We should ask around for any signs. Fortunately, I'm sufficiently secure in my masculinity that I am able to stop and ask for directions." He looked at Starlight. "I don't suppose you happen to have an ability to track your less uptight half?"

"Not unless the game master says I do," Starlight said, trying to ignore that 'playful' remark. "Anyway, I'm guessing that Spike has put some effort into this place, so if we move on we'll just drift around for a while until we come across a nearly identical place."

"No metagaming," Spike warned. "But yeah, I suppose."

"I think we should stop," Fluttershy said. "My character is probably getting a little antsy from being cooped up all the time."

"Yeah, you don't want to meet the little antsies from her homeworld," Discord said.

"Oh, you," she giggled. "So what does this station look like, besides a wheel? Have we heard about it? Does it have a history?"

"Yes, actually!" Spike declared proudly. "It's actually an old decommissioned military station from The Great Pointless War, which ravaged this sector centuries ago until all sides were so worn out and broke from the fighting that a few formerly neutral parties were able to step in and put a final end to the fighting. The war had a different name at first, but you know what they say, the winners write the history books."

"War, huh," Rarity muttered. "What is it good for? Absolutely nothing."

"No objection there," Starlight said. "Twilight told me about the Equestrias she'd seen at war… it wasn't pretty. Have I mentioned how glad I am, in retrospect, that you girls put a stop to all that?"

"Shucks, ain't nothin' to it," Applejack chuckled modestly. "Ah'm honestly surprised nopony else took up the task when we didn't."

"Well, somepony must have tried, since Nightmare Moon wasn't around when King Sombra waged war…" Starlight mused. She had actually thought a great deal about this. "Or when Queen Chrysalis was the antagonist. Or… well, perhaps I was subconsciously affecting the spell to show timelines where Twilight failed as much as possible, to punish her…" She suddenly felt a hoof around her shoulders, and looked up into the kindly smiling face of Fluttershy. "Sorry. I shouldn't be so gloomy. Please, go on, Spike."

He nodded. "Right, as I was saying, the original builders could no longer afford to run the places," Spike continued. "So they were stripped of everything except the basic superstructure. Later, some clever business aliens moved in, restored the life support, and set up shop as a kind of rest stop, trading stop, tourist trap, kind of thing. The topmost floor is actually one big park area, with plants and ponds and everything."

"Aww, that sounds so nice," Fluttershy cooed. "So much less sterile and bleak than I thought. Do they have animals too?"

"Do alien visitors count?" Discord said with a wink. "Okay, it's decided. Number One, make it so."

"Come again?" Applejack asked, confused.

"Sorry, always wanted to say that," Discord said. "Just bring us in, Crimson Tape."

"The docking procedures finish properly, despite your pilot's spirited attempt to botch," Spike said, grinning at a fuming Applejack. Her dice had rolled ones until Bucks McGillicutty sent the blasted things out the window. She went through a lot of dice that way. "After a quick decontamination, you are released onto the middle deck: the recreational area with shops, restaurants and other amenities. The signs indicate that the lower deck is dedicated to the station's industrial facilities and support, while the upper is, as I said, the park. So what do you want to do?"

"Ooh, shopping!" Rarity squealed. "I've got cash to burn! It's not Equestrian stuff, but they might have something groovy. I mean, yeah, dudettes."

"Might be a good idea ta stock up," Applejack agreed. "Besides, ah can always use more weird alien doohickeys an' stuff fer mah science."

"Much as I would never object to running around willy-nilly and get into trouble, let's take care of the main task first, okay?" Discord said. "I look around for somepony… eh, somealien who might have seen the nut squad. Do I see anyone?"

"Most of the aliens here are busy, but you see an old fellow by the bay windows, looking at the stars like he's got time to spare," Spike said.

"Ah, perfect!" Discord said. "An old guy, you said? The kindly grandfather-y type? I can work with that. I walk up to him." He brushed his mane back smoothly. "Sir? May I please have a moment of your time? I am looking for some of my friends, and I'm wondering if you've seen them…"

"The giant disembodied floating head turns around and looks at you," Spike said.

"…Fair's fair, I did not see that coming," Discord admitted. "No matter, I've seen stranger things. He's not shooting lightning at me from his eyes or anything, is he?"

"Not at the moment," Spike said. "He's smiling at you in, yes, a very kindly grandfather way. He's got long silvery hair and facial wrinkles deep enough to hide a sandwich, and you can't tell how he's floating like that. His eyes are closed."

"Okay," Discord said. He collected himself. "You see, Sir, we were separated earlier and I really need to bring them home. Their mothers are so worried. Or whatever they have instead of mothers."

Spike cleared his throat and altered his voice a bit. "'The dove is on the steeple, facing the rain without regrets.'"

Discord blinked. "Okay? Uh, one of them's this snake guy with six wings and six eyes, and one looks like a pony made of incandescent plasma. She's a real… uh, she's very noticeable in her behavior too, so you must have noticed her if she passed by. Not very easy to ignore, that girl. And there's a few others, too."

"'Three will stand, four will return; the long, the suffering, the breath of your lungs,'" Spike declared.

Discord stared at him. "I… don't know what that's supposed to mean."

"'The headpiece of Frinn only rarely adhere to skin,'" Spike declared. "'No sprog with right mouse button.'"

Discord threw up his claw and paw in defeat. "I don't get it. Anypony else have a clue?"

"Make a smarts roll if you think your character should know anything about extraterrestrial culture," Spike said.

"Oh, that would probably be my thing, since I want to know how other societies work as compared to my own," Starlight said enthusiastically. "Nine! Do I figure anything out?"

"You suspect that you're dealing with a Confusian Monk," Spike said. "They're a mystical order that allegedly seek inwards enlightenment through outwards confusion. They travel all over the universe and don't generally make much sense."

"Hmm." Discord stroked his goatee thoughtfully. "Okay, that's a neat concept, but my character is far too straight-laced to indulge in this. I very much doubt I can get through to this guy. Can I find someone else?"

"You should try harder," Starlight said. "It's our friends we're talking about, after all."

"Are they really our friends, though?" Discord asked. "Seems like they're doing everything they can to get away from us."

"Of course they are our friends," Starlight insisted. "They may be strange and odd and different, but they consider us friends just like we consider them the same. You could say that we're all the same, in that we are different from each other…"

Spike blinked, then got a clever look. "The monk suddenly takes notice of you, and zooms over. 'Differences show commonality? Unity through individuality? Your words, they intrigue. Please, tell more.'"

"Uh… okay?" Starlight was a surprised by this, but she wasn't going to back away from a challenge. "Well… in Equestria, everypony gets a cutie mark, but the mark represents who you are and is unique…" She hesitated. She didn't like to admit the flaws of her old philosophy, but she had to admit that Twilight and her friends had a point, that differences could still support harmonious coexistence as long as you let them. The fact that she could get along with them, with Sunburst, even with Trixie, Gilda and Discord… "Everypony has a destiny that sets them aside. But everypony share in the commonality of harmony and are equal in their hearts. Even non-pony races are as different as they are the same."

"'That… makes no sense,'" Spike said. "He looks very happy when he say that, however. He then begins a lengthy lecture that somehow compels you to listen, even though it sounds like gibberish." He pointed at the others. "To the rest of you, it actually is gibberish." He turned back. "This is going to take a while. Is Lib going to listen?"

"Absolutely," Starlight said. "I'm always interested in finding out about other cultures, and he seems so passionate about it. So what's he saying?"

"Actually, I don't really know," Spike admitted. "There's only so much nonsense I can come up with without referencing Sdrawkcab's Book Of Nonsensical Statements, and that's back in the castle. Let's just off-screen it."

"Okay, while they're yammering, The Diva's hitting the shops," Rarity said. "Mama needs new threads."

"Ah go with her," Applejack said.

"I'd like to see the park area, if it's okay," Fluttershy said. "Random, are you coming?"

"Yeah, I need a breather," Discord said. "Give a holler if the GM takes advantage of the split-up to ambush you."

"Wait and see," Spike said in what he thought was a sinister voice. "Okay, Starlight, I mean Lib. After a lengthy debate that makes less sense than Quesadilla's One Less Week retcon… seriously, what the hay…" He caught himself. "Uh, right. You're now a rank zero Confusian Initiate."

"Did I just get indoctrinated?" Starlight said with a raised eyebrow.

"It's more like enlightened…" His eyes widened as he realized what he was implying… and who he was implying it to. "No, no, it's not - I mean, I'm not trying to--"

"Just tell me honestly. Is he on the up and up?" Starlight said.

"Yes," Spike said empathetically. "He's weird but good, trust me."

"Thank you," she replied. "So what does it mean to be an Initiate?" She started taking notes on the back of her character sheet. Free stuff was free stuff, after all.

"You can communicate properly with him, as well as any other Confusian Monks you encounter, without any unenlightened understanding you," Spike explained. "Also, you may attempt to locate Monks and get help from them, since they're allegedly hiding all over the galaxy. And you get a plus one knack in something related to being confusing. Make something up."

"I'll think of something. But first I ask the Head Monk if he knows where our friends are," she said.

"He actually hasn't seen them," Spike said. "And like Random said, he would have if they had been here at all. He points out that the spinward region is pirate territory, though, and that they might have been caught up in their business."

"That would make sense for that bunch. After all, Ra is always a victim to her reckless impulses," she said with a smirk.

"Did you just badmouth yourself?" Discord asked, curious.

"No, but Ra is technically everything Lib isn't, so she would disapprove." She frowned. "Am I doing this roleplaying right?"

"Yer doin' fine," Applejack said reassuringly.

"Oh, good," Starlight said. "Okay, I don't have anything else to ask him. I'll wander a bit before regrouping."

Spike turned to Rarity and Applejack. "Okay, Diva and Crimson. You've found the shopping district, more or less. Lots of… uh, well, shops. Some big, some small. One alien that looks kind of like a spined seapony with fangs doesn't even have a building to work out of, and has just thrown a blanket on the ground. At least you think it's a blanket, because it's kind of twitching and pulsating."

"Dare I even ask what he… she… it… is selling?" Rarity asked.

"Equestrian memorabilia," Spike said. "Fine Equestrian decorations and everyday goods, as well as prized historical artifacts that are a must-have for the discerning collector."

"Ah take a closer look at th' wares," Applejack said. "An' the guy. Have ah seen anyalien like him around back home? Ah make a Smarts roll." She rolled a four. "Right, don't got no alien-knowing knacks, so that's a ten."

"It bares its fangs at you in what you hope is meant to be a smile," Spike said. "And no, you've never seen anything like this visit Equestria. Of course, that doesn't say much since a lot of aliens show up. Among the goods, you find - according to the label - a genuine beeting screw from Sweet Beets Acres, autographed by Beetjack herself."

"Oh, really?" Applejack said.

"As well as Princess Plutonium's ichor mace, and the Element of Harmony," Spike continued.

"Ah getcha," Applejack said. "Ah raise my voice and shout: Hey, everyalien! This guy's a lyin' shyster! This stuff's worthless junk an' not from Equestria at all!"

"The alien hisses angrily, and rips his 'blanket' from the floor with a wet sound, before jumping into an air duct and escaping," Spike said.

"Nice work, straight-lace," Rarity said with appreciation.

"Well, pretty obvious, really," Applejack said modestly.

"To an Equestrian, yes, but to the aliens here?" Discord pointed out. "I'll wager that guy made a pretty bit off the rubes until you showed up." He stroked his chin. "Now, how do we get in on that action…"

"Hey now! Ah won't let ya pull any scams on mah watch!" Applejack protested.

"Oh, but I'm not planning on scamming, mon pisteur," Discord said with a smug grin. "After all, Random Act is a genuine Equestrian pony, so anything he produces would, quite reasonably, be genuine Equestrian craftsponyship. Also, this is out of character talk, so you don't actually know what I'm up to. Besides, I need to find a way to make money somehow, since I'm still in debt to Libra."

"I might consider calling off that debt…" Starlight suggested.

"Oh, really," Discord said warily. "And what, pray tell, would that cost me?"

"Well, I'd have to reunite with Ra before making that kind of decision," she continued with a grin.

"Tease," Discord muttered. "Just build up my hopes before crushing them, why don't you?"

"Not so fun when the horseshoe's on tha other hoof, is it?" Applejack remarked.

"Hmpf," Discord huffed. "Karma's a b--"

"Ahem."

"--Bothersome individual," he finished. He glanced at Fluttershy, who was looking at him with an eyebrow raised. "What?"

"Okay, let's try to stay in character for a while longer, can we?" Spike said.

Session 20.6 Mooncalf99

"'Rugby', huh," Master Babylon scoffed. "Huh, a brutish game of charging headfirst into your opponent with reckless abandon and little wit." The Honah Lee Serpent considered while he grabbed a massive white boulder with his tail and dropped it to the ground between them. "Hm, yes. That would be your forte, indeed."

"Watch it, old snake," Ex-Lord Torch rumbled menacingly. "I can still take you. Enough brute force can cover for a lot." He snapped his claws, and four young dragons struggled to roll over an equally large black boulder to within his reach. He snatched it up, and then victoriously threw it to the ground. The very bedrock cracked and shook under the assault, knocking several smaller dragons into the air, while their larger kin struggled to remain standing. Nonetheless, the audience would not dream of fleeing.

After all, it was rare to see a real, proper game of Dragon Go. With proper pieces, even.

"Hmm, so you say, but I don't see it," Babylon muttered. "Then again, with the way my eyesight's been going the last few decades, I don't see much at all. I bumped into a few mountains on the way here... I, uh, assume they were destroyed. I must apologize." He effortlessly flung another white boulder into place, cutting off Torch's planned strategy.

"Not my mountains anymore," Torch muttered. He was not nearly so stupid as to believe that claim. Chineighse dragons were sneaky, dupliticious and tricky, and used lies and subterfuge like other dragons used flame and claws. Little surprise that members of Babylon's brood had been the ones to set up that little anarch town right within pony borders, slithering out of his own grasp in the process. No, the snake was planning something, as usual. And Torch was many things - big, strong, completely accustomed to getting his way absolutely every time - but he was not dumb. At least, not as dumb as many of his former subjects thought he was.

After careful consideration, he had another stone brought to him and put it in place in another part of the board. Let's see what happens now...

"Ah, yes, hmm. You have a successor now," Babylon said in a deliberately surprised tone, as though to establish how little the succession of the Dragon Lord meant to him and his renegade ilk. Infuriating. He flung another stone onto the board with casual abandon. "Well, well. I look forward to seeing how she'll turn out. Quite small, yes? Takes after her mother, I wager? Hmm, not the kind of Dragon Lord I would have expected you to pick..."

"You know flaming well that I did not pick her," Torch growled. "That's what the Gauntlet of Fire is for. She passed, so she must have some good talents in that tiny body of hers, so she gets to be Dragon Lord. End of story. I decided not to question it, even if it was... unusual."

"Will wonders ever cease," Babylon guffawed, his shaking belly causing another quake that sent a group of dragons careening off a cliff. "Hmm, hatchlings today are interesting. How is her skill as a player?"

"Player? You mean, the games?" Torch paused with a stone between his claws, pretending that he was distracted from the game by the conversation topic. He needed a few moments to consider and plan his next strategy. Babylon was doing that insufferable thing where he pretended to be so good that he didn't need to think about his moves, and Torch would not, not let that get to him. "Hmph. I never bothered to teach her. I don't know, she might have picked it up from somedragon else." He placed his next stone, again testing his opponent's reactions.

"Disgraceful," Babylon rumbled disapprovingly. "Hah, still, she's young, barely out of her first half-century, yes? Hatchlings learn quickly. Young Spike has a flawless understanding of the basics. Should be coming along well, as long as he listens to what Kokushi Musou teaches him..."

"You have a dragon tutoring him personally?" Torch said with more surprise than he'd hoped to let on. Obviously, he himself had never had much thought for the little ponies - they were squeaky and annoying and thankfully easy to disregard - and he'd considered it largely unimportant that the whelp intentionally lived among them. After all, eccentric behavior was par for the course when you were a dragon. Like that red weirdo who kept hugging other dragons.

On the other claw... if the Honah Lee Serpent had his own dragon in place at Spike's side, they would have a perfect opportunity to teach him dangerous and revolutionary ideas. And since Ember listened to Spike... she'd be in danger as well.

Torch stared mutely as Babylon... completely disregarded his test and put down his stone elsewhere, claiming some more ground. "Quite dedicated, is little Kokushi Musou, yes... very unconventional and unpredictable. Still needs much practice, of course, but in some ways a master in her own right. Perhaps your little Ember could learn from her as well? I'm sure she'd be happy to teach the Dragon Lord herself."

You would like that, wouldn't you, old snake? Torch thought, too distracted to notice that he placed his next stone in the wrong spot. He barely paid attention as Babylon immediately reached for his own, either. Well, I might not be the Dragon Lord anymore, but Ember is my daughter, and she listens to me. She won't go to... wait. What if she were to turn the tables on them instead? Yes, I can see that now. She'll continue her 'befriending' with the hatchling, and get this other dragon to teach her, but instead of buying into their lies, she'll use her 'befriending' to seize control of Babylon's puppet... gain influence in Dragontown... and before long, they will all bow to the Dragon Lord, and old Babylon will be out of his cushy retired life and back trawling the rivers for pearls. Hah! I win!

Babylon narrowed his eyes. "Hmm, your smile... it's unsettling. Stop it."

"Just thought of something interesting," Torch replied, forcing his wide, toothy grin into something more understated. Already, seven dragons had fainted in abject fear of it.

"Don't let it hold up the game," Babylon admonished. "We're not getting any younger, after all."

"Hah, true." Torch quickly scanned the playing field and spotted an opening that his opponent had overlooked. It would put him at a massive advantage. So much for calling me a lackwit, you old bag of scales. He grabbed one of his spare stones - reaching for it instead of bothering to let his underlings bring it closer - and slammed it down, half burying it in the bedrock. "Now what do you call that?"

Babylon just raised an eyebrow in reaction. "An illegal move, what else?"

"...What?" Torch asked in surprise, and anger. "What do you mean, illegal?!"

"It was my move, but you acted out of turn. Cheating, hmm? You forfeit the game." Babylon grinned predatorily, and five more dragons fainted. "I win."

"But you were holding..." He never actually put it down, did he? I was distracted, and he took advantage of it. Sneaky, cheating snake. "Fine. Another game, and this time I'll win!"

Session 20.7 Zaku789

"..... Ah should be more surprise that you playin' a board game somehow destroy the barn, but considerin' our luck with both the barn and board games, Ah'm not so much surprise as Ah'm annoyed," Applejack said.

"Were sorry Applejack," Apple Bloom said.

"Ah ain't mad sugarcube," Applejack said. "Frankly Ah'm kinda impress how ya managed to get all the supplies into the barn before it broke apart."

"I told you playing a game called 'Fill The Barn' At a barn was a bad idea," Scootaloo said.

"Well I thought with Snips and Snail being the ones who trigger the Jumanji thing, it be safe to play board games again without worry," Sweetie Belle said.

"Well weirder things have happen so Ah can't argue with yer logic," Applejack said.

Session 20.8 MtangaLion

Rainbow Dash flapped her wings, lazily rising up to the single cloud in Ponyville's morning sky, high over Twilight's crystal castle. "So what's going on up here? Playing some *high* stakes poker?" She snickered, then blinked. "Whoa..."

Starlight Glimmer smiled tiredly, floating in her turquoise magic aura. "That joke's been made. Pinkie Pie here has a crazy theory that my magic has gotten weaker."

"Hi, Dash!" said Pinkie cheerfully, pedaling her improbable candy cane balloon copter flying machine. "Yeah, she's definitely gotten weaker, cause that's what happens when evil villains get defeated and join the party."

Dash pointed a hoof. "Starlight, you're really flying! With just your magic!"

"Um..." Starlight blinked. "Yes, I can do that. You know I can. Twilight told the story to everypony."

Pinkie grinned. "So, Starlight's been in Ponyville for months, and you're only just now seeing her fly, even though that's a super neat and useful thing that you'd think she'd do all the time? Almost as if... she forgot about her powers! Yep! It's classic Villain Decay!"

Starlight groaned. "First of all, some of us don't need to fly *all the time* just to show off, like the floor's not good enough for us to walk on."

"Hey, that's part of my training!" objected Rainbow. "I have to keep my wings in top condition!"

"Also, I object to being characterized as an evil villain. I was more of a well-intentioned extremist."

"I don't know," mused Rainbow. "Maybe Pinkie sort of has a point. How come you never flew while we were saving the Crystal Empire... again?"

Starlight glared at her. "It just so happens that I didn't need to. I can gallop about as fast as I can float."

"And you haven't opened any more time portals..."

"Twilight won't let me! Even for science!"

"Or fought any more badflank magic duels...."

"There was that one with Sunset and Trixie... Twilight's just afraid she'd lose again."

"Or stolen any cutie marks..."

Starlight facehoofed. "Um... of course I haven't. Er, because stealing cutie marks is bad, and wrong. Plus, I had this dream where I stole the cutie marks from the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and..." Pinkie and Rainbow both stared at her in horror. "Yeah, you don't want to know... but seriously, my magic is *not* weaker." She did the backstroke in midair, gliding in circles around them. "Just look at how I've been hovering here this whole time, not a care in the world."

Unexpectedly, Trixie joined them, floating in her own pink aura. "Behold!"

Starlight gave her an exasperated look. "Speaking of Villain Decay..."

Trixie turned her nose up at Starlight. "Jealous quips cannot bring down the spirits of the Great and Powerful Trixie, for now she too has mastered the dream of self-powered unicorn flight!" She struck a pose and conjured her signature fireworks... which caused her flight aura to flicker. Trixie grasped at thin air and shrieked, plummeting.

Rainbow Dash dove after Trixie and lifted her back up to the cloud, and Starlight surrounded Trixie in a second turquoise glow. "You might want to practice closer to the ground."

The showmare gulped. "Trixie thinks that's good advice!"

Session 20.9 Kendell2

"Can't believe that actually worked," said Bon Bon, sitting at the (until they'd turned on the lights again a few days ago with Celestia's permission) long abandoned employee lounge at the secret agent lair (also long abandoned).

Furlong nodded, seeming much less uptight now. "Yeah, we did take a lot of liberties with that little roleplay..."

"At least Lyra will finally stop digging into things she shouldn't, I mean the Gates of Tartarus' location is kept secret from most for a reason," Bon Bon replied. "I don't like the rouse, but I couldn't very well tell her EVERYTHING she wanted to know without getting her danger from some of the monsters we had to deal with."

Furlong nodded. "Yeah, but you have to admit, the whole memory wiping spell was pretty stupid. I mean even when we were actually running, we knew keeping ponies in the dark about monsters existing was a stupid ideas. It just endangers people. Our goal was quick containment with agent's remaining unknown is a keep them and their loved one's safe. But sad as it is, that's what people EXPECT Ponies in Black to be like, so that's what we showed her. Was kind of fun to play act."

'Delilah' (actually Kevin's sister and Apple Crispy's genuine wife) nodded. "Especially Chrysalis' brutes, keeping them hidden would be a terrible idea...but why DID we go with that idea again?"

"Changelings are the only creatures we actually would've dealt with that have good members we can talk to. Some where certainly SAPIENT, but not GOOD, which is the entire reason for all the secrecy," Bon Bon replied. "That and you're married to an ex-agent who knows a lot of ponies they could get to think it's just a big prank...which I guess it is."

"True. But you'd think she would've realized my eyes glow blue, not green," Delilah replied.

"Not many ponies know there's more than one queen," Furlong replied. "Except Neighpon..."

"True, but how many ponies know that Queen Supia is a changeling and not a mutated wasp?" Bon Bon asked. "Anyway, thanks for helping."

Furlong nodded, giving a smile. "No problem, I've been bored stiff since the agency shut down and we retired."

Session 20.10 Alex Warlorn

The CMC sat around the Cutie Mark Map... along with Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, and Button Mash. Pipsqueak meanwhile was hosting a pirate LARP in his backyard.

Truth be told... while the CMC had run afoul of enchanted alien board games, Discord hadn't of late 'enhanced' their other games. He hadn't once turned them into giant monsters during any of their giant monster games. It was like Discord had Pinkie Promised somepony not to 'enhance' any of their games. Too bad, the CMC+3 all agreed that being turned into giant monsters (in small doses) would have been cool. At least they had fun that one time with the toon RPG.

Right now, the map was covered in hexagon tiles, featuring everypony's favorite flower... DAISY The Happy Flower! There wasn't a foal there who hadn't grown up watching Daisy's adventures on the big screen, listening to her songs, and owning at least some of her toys and that of her ever expanding collection of friends.

Of course, all were reaching that age were Daisy was becoming 'uncool', and for 'babies.' But since their primary teaser was now their friend, this put them in a bit of a social limbo in that regard. Scootaloo wondered about those records she found in Rainbow Dash's closet while Dash was napping.

+

With her hair tied up in a bun, and wearing red glasses, Princess Luna sat on a psychologist's chair, while Rainbow Dash laid down on the patient's couch. At least she wasn't being forced by Twilight to make up imaginary issues about Applejack this time. The Tantabus floated next to Luna, taking the form of a filly version of Nightmare Moon wearing glasses and a sweater.

"So..." Princess Luna began. "As long as you're taking long naps in the middle of the day, please tell me again Rainbow Dash how you were teased for liking Daisy The Happy Flower..."

"I... I was the cool kid ya know... but Daisy was supposed to be for babies... and I had all her stuff and records of all her music... "

"And you were ashamed for liking her?"

"Yes..."

"And when Fluttershy did not lose her love of it, and was tormented for it?"

"I stood up for her, like always..."

"And if Fluttershy stood up for herself?"

"I'd... I'd be proud of her..."

"So you wouldn't feel like you'd lost your purpose?"

"No! There's more to our friendship than just that!"

"As long as YOU realize that Rainbow Dash... so about Happy Flower."

"I... I imagine a bunch of super warrior robots burning down happy fields... figuring it would make them go away in my head.. for a while it worked... then I heard they were doing a revival of Happy Flower... WITHOUT HAPPY MINT BELL! Didn't they know they were best friends before? How could they just dump her like that?!"

"... So you were still emotionally invested in her in spite of yourself."

"Can I wake up now?"

"Don't blame me for you being such a deep sleeper you can chainsaw logs in your sleep."

+

"So... does anypony else wonder if it was actually a good idea to introduces zombies as antagonists to Happy Flower?" Sweetie asked. Apple Bloom for her part, seemed to take, TOO MUCH pleasure in blowing up the zombie with her plant army.

"Not all of them are evil, that zombie filly who lives in a caravan and loves to race is nice," Button Mask said. If Mina was there, she'd make a remark of 'token good member' but she wasn't, and she didn't know the CMC anyway.

"Added some good action if you ask me!" Scootaloo said.

Diamond Tiara had taken up the role of commanding the zombie army... she wasn't teasing them anymore or being her mother's verbal punching bag, but she was still competitive and a half and still loved a good battle with Apple Bloom.

"But... " Sweetie said. "What make Happy Flower FUN, well for me, was that it was a slice of life story! Introducing zombie bad guys, a shadow organization of flower agents... it feels... not like Happy Flower anymore."

"Stuff changes all the time." Silver Spoon said, having been given command of their corn on the cob fire support division.

"Maybe... After all, we all had to change. but is it still Happy Flower if they take away what made happy flowers happy?"

Session 20.11 Kendell2

"So, what game is this exactly?" Applejack asked, looking at the box, which had lots of red and silver and a foreign language. "Ah don't speak...this."

"Neighponese," Twilight corrected. "And it's a game the Neighponese ambassador asked my brother and his group to adapt like they did the pirate one. Particularly since the character is a major part of Neighponese culture. This is the original game with the new modifications used in some of the other games. It's called Ultrastallion."

Rainbow Dash blinked. "You mean like the evil mirror version of Superstallion?"

"No, Ultrastallion, in this case is...actually the Neighponese cultural equal, or one of them at least," explained Twilight. "It's one of the longest running series in the entire country."

"Okay..." Rainbow Dash said, looking at the character, who was a giant red and silver stallion with a glowing blue light on his chest and a metalic, alien-like head with glowing white eyes. "I thought you hated Masked Bug Rider." Rainbow had liked what she'd seen, but Twilight hadn't.

"It's not my thing," Twilight admitted. "But this seemed closer to the mecha RPG we did, and I'm fascinated by the cultural significance given how big of a thing it is over there. It's also innovative, and the original series was the brainchild of one of neighpon's greatest special effects innovators who's techniques are still in use today."

Rarity cleared her throat. "That is fascinating, darling, but what exactly is this game about? We can't read Neighponese."

"Oh! Right!" said Twilight, shaking herself out of it. "It's based off the original series, since that's the most simple. Basically, kind of like the mecha RPG, monsters, and hostile aliens, are attack the planet, and most of us are in a defense with special weapons that fight them off. However, a benevolent alien known as an Ultra from the M78 Nebula arrives and bonds with one of us. Oh! And that nebula actually exists! It's in Orion's belt!"

"Really? Are there giant alien superheroes there?!" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Uh...no one knows. It's 1,600 lightyears away."

"Oh..."

"So wait, only ONE of us gets tah be the giant superhero?" Applejack asks. "How's that fair?"

"It's fairer than you'd think it would be..." Twilight said. "And we might get a second one later. For now let's roll the dice and see who gets to be them."

They rolled the dice and Rainbow Dash got it.

"Oh yeah! This will be awesome!" Rainbow exclaimed, giving a smirk. The others groan a bit, anticipating her ego.

"What do you bet she names it Ultrastallion Dash?" Applejack asked.

After designing her character, surprisingly she named the character Bolt instead, and the design resembled the Wonderbolts's outfits.

The group chose various classes, Rarity choosing the scientist because it'd let her make armor and outfits on top of weapons. Twilight said it was probably the single most important class.

Soon enough they began (and it used a projection system like the Mecha RPG), and a monster emerged from a volcano.

"This'll be easy. I'll just transform and-" Rainbow Dash said.

"You can't," Twilight replied.

"Huh? Why?" the pegasus asked in return.

"You haven't even tried to fight it without his power yet, Bolt won't LET you transform," Twilight explained. "Did you even read the rules I gave you? I translated them myself!"

"I...flipped through it..."

"Ultras don't want the races they help to DEPEND on them, only have back up when things are beyond their ability to handle. You have to make an EFFORT first."

Rainbow Dash grumbled (especially since she hadn't given much thought to her PONY character), but went along with it.

The group wore the monster down a bit, but ultimately were being overwelmed a bit.

"Now?" Rainbow Dash asked in annoyance as her fighter got shot down in the projection.

"Yes, now," Twilight replied.

"Finally!"

On the projection, Rainbow's character held up a badge of some sort and transformed, the image of Ultrastallion Bolt growing to giant size from above being projected.

"Step back girls! The big guns are here!" she exclaimed.

The group grumbled and decided to fall back to regroup while she did it.

While Rainbow started out strong, getting her attack rolls...she began to be overpowered and her character blasted back.

Then a light (both on screen and in physical next to her) began blinking red. "What's that?" Rainbow asked, frustrated by how poorly this was going.

Twilight sighed. "You'd know if you read the manual! Ultras can only stay active on Equus for three minutes due to the atmosphere. That's the warning you're almost out of time."

Rainbow Dash asked, "Uh, how long do they take to recharge?"

"Without someone's help? You have to return to your pony host who will be worn out for awhile and can't transform for ten turns, during which the monster will probably have destroyed a few city blocks."

"Oh come on!"

"Be glad they changed it for balance, in the show it generally takes a few hours."

"Uh oh..." Rainbow said as she began to be pummeled, the light blinking faster. "Uh...girls!"

"I thought you said to 'step back', darling," Rarity said with a smile.

"I was wrong!"

"Good thing I've had my scientist working on some repairs while you were holding it off."

The rest joined in, distracting and injuring the monster by aiming for weakpoints Rarity's character pinpointed. Finally, the monster was weak enough and Bolt's projection gathered lightning into his front hooves, crossing them in a plus shape and blasting the monster to bits with a beam of lightning from his upright hoof.

"...Okay...I guess team work is more important than I thought in this game..." Rainbow admitted. "Sorry."

Twilight nodded. "That's part of the charm of this series: the Ultra and it's support team support and help each other as a team. He'd normally not last very long without them."

Session 20.12 SomeRandomMinon

"Well, Ah reckon that's that. We got a lead on tha Crown, let's get goin'!" Applejack said with a smirk. "No point stickin' around when we've already won."

Rainbow tilted her head. "Ya sure we can't stick around and see Mr. Big Bad Baron get what's coming to him?" She asked in-character. "There might be some stragglers from the fight who'll go after the peasants in revenge or something."

"There are some survivors from the Baron's militia," Spike pondered, glancing over his stat sheets as he and most of the ponies nodded. "And it looks like there's a side-quest to hunt them down..."

"That sounds a bit mean, but....they could still reorganize," Fluttershy put in.

"An' would they risk angerin' the giants who smashed their castle and squished all their friends, after THEY barely got away?" Applejack couldn't help but smirk. "Ah doubt it. Assumin' they haven't already ran out of town, Ah think those boys will be layin' low fer quite a while."

Her reasoning quickly turned the party around, and the six giants were on their way, the first leg of their journey over. However...

Spike suddenly blinked, realization striking. "Wait a minute...Rarity's Mass Freeze! Looks like it spreads farther on the ground with a critical hit than I thought...AJ; your Battlerager steps on a stray patch of ice and slips!"

"Seriously? After all this...ah, whatever. Roll fer Sure Footing!"

Dice clattered....and the girls' lucky streak that night ended.

Spike almost cringed at the results. "Ouch, only a six. Okay, minus four for the hazardous patch NOT being farmland....but no other penalties...roll failed. You lose your balance and stumble back on the ice, then--" he broke off, seeming to realize something. Then he started giggling, almost uncontrollably.

"What's so dang funny?" AJ asked, a bit huffy at failing such a basic roll after so much success.

"Sorry for the ice, Applejack...but yes, Spike; what's so hilarious?" Rarity put in.

Spike fought down his chuckles enough to speak. "Ahem...AJ, you stumble back and fall, but manage to land sitting down....right on top of the Baron and some of his knights, still trapped in the vines. They're all flattened instantly."

Silence fell and everypony went wide eyed....then burst out laughing.

Rarity fell off of her cushion and chortled on the floor. "So much for leaving him for the peasants! What a way for the brute to go! Oh dear me, my sides!!"

"Talk about putting the guy under pressure, right?" Rainbow snerked, elbowing Applejack.

Applejack tried to glare angrily at her friends, but couldn't. "Shoot, didn't see THAT comin'. Mah poor Battlerager, she's NEVER gonna live this down back with her clan. Well, at least that's one bad guy who'll never be a pain in the rear again!"

Everypony laughed even harder.

Session 20.13 Alex Warlorn

Twilight and Spike were going over their notes for their next O&O game (after trying out so many different versions, it wouldn't hurt to go back to the classics), when there was a knock on the door.

Twilight could only gasped in horror when she opened her door to find Buttons leading Lily, Daisy, and Rose, all sporting the same mane cut with huge grins on their faces and with the equal sign on their flanks.

"Hello! Have you heard the good news of Equality?" The echoed.

Princess Twilight Sparkle thought of how going on the defensive never lasted for long in zombie movies, instead, she went on the offensive and pulled them inside violent with her telekenesis, and using the trick she picked up from Rarity and used a curtain to tie up all four... but one of the tassels smudged against Lily's flanks... and...

"HEY! This is just, you used MAKE UP to cover your cutie marks?!" Twilight exclaimed.

"Well... " Daisy said, "We couldn't remove our cutie marks for real since the Great Equalizer refused to help... so we made do."

Lily shouted, not her normal cowardly self. "THIS IS OPPRESSION! You can't imprison us for our beliefs! Princess Twilight Sparkle is intolerant! Princess Twilight Sparkle is intolerant!"

"Uh..." Twilight Sparkle suddenly felt very awkward.

"Uh... should I put the message to Princess Celestia that the equalizes are multiplying on stand by?" Spike asked.

"'Multiply'?! We're not insects!" Rose protested harder.

"Okay! Okay!" Twilight said feeling even MORE awkward. "No need to make this an incident! I just thought you were... well... " Twilight did a quick magic scan. "Okay, you're not under magical mind control, but you came here to steal my cutie mark!"

"OBJECTION! -Always wanted to say that-," Rose said. "We just came here to spread the good news! We weren't going to steal anything!"

"Fine fine, but no funny business." Twilight untied them.

"Geeze, do you treat Luna's Witnesses this way?" Lily snapped.

"Pipsqueak and his family understand that I'm for Princess Celestia... and that isn't the point! Suri!"

"Buttons."

"WHATEVER! How could you still be doing this!? Didn't Starlight explain what she taught was wrong?"

"Actually, no, she didn't. She just said I couldn't FORCE our beliefs on others, and we shouldn't punish others for contributing all they could to the community... Plus I needed their help to remove Tom from the hole covering the Mirror Pond." Buttons said.

"Wait wait wait, how did you find out about the mirror pond AND the chant to use it that was only known by ... PINKIE!"

"What?... It's an interesting story, and she wanted to hear all the details." The Pink Party Pony defended, of course she popped out of nowhere.

"UGH!" Twilight looked out the window, but much to her relief failed to see an army of Buttons reeking havoc. "So... where is... the other you?"

"The last I saw other me she was saying, 'I'm FREE! I'M FREE! See you never in Manehatten suckers! Mmm'k?' as she left. OW! Sorry, other me must have sat on a thistle somewhere." Buttons said rubbing her rear.

"Wait wait wait, you used the mirror pond to separate your two personalities into two bodies, and you're STILL CONNECTED?! This is, this is unprecedented, what else can you feel from each other, is there a time delay or, No no no!" Twilight shook her head against the OVERWHELMING temptation to study this rather unique phenomena that just SCREAMED and BEGS TO HER to be researched, it would be so lonely if she didn't research it, was there something wrong with it if she didn't research it? Ugh! 'Resist Twilight, resist, you can do it... maybe....'

"Pinkie Pie! Get Maud Pie! Have her use her Maud Sense to locate Suri, I refuse to believe having two sides of the same personality in two bodies for a prolonged period of time is healthy."

"Does that mean you're going to start giving penalities to Starlight's characters in our alien teenager game?"

"NOW!"

Session 20.14 Jarkes

"PUTTY PONIES, ATTACK!" yelled the golden griffon Gildar (actually Gilda in the role of the character), sending a squad of gray ponies made out of clay after Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Starlight, who were going through an enchanted comic based off of Pony Rangers.

"Gilda's having a lot of fun with this..." Applejack muttered to Rainbow Dash as she kicked a Putty Pony.

"She actually auditioned for the role back when this show first began, but she didn't get the part. I guess she's making up for it now," Rainbow Dash replied as she punched another.

"Um... why am I the Pink Ranger and Pinkie's the Yellow Ranger?" Fluttershy asked, cowering from the Putties. "Shouldn't it be the other way around?"

"No, silly! If it was the other way around, that would totally be racist! ...Wait, that's not the right word. Color-ist? No, that doesn't sound right either," Pinkie Pie said.

"Doesn't matter," Rainbow Dash said, pulling out her morpher. "IT'S MORPHING TIME!"

"IT'S MORPHING TIME!" they all shouted, pulling out their morphers with their Power Coins.

"DRAGONZORD!" Starlight shouted.
"MASTODON!" - Applejack.
"PTERODACTYL!" - Fluttershy.
"TRICERATOPS!" - Rarity.
"SABER-TOOTHED TIGER!" - Pinkie Pie.
"TYRANNOSAURUS!" - Rainbow Dash. Before long, they were all in the classic spandex and helmets of the Pony Rangers.

Meanwhile, Spike... was in the role of Delta 4, the dragon assistant to the Pony Rangers. "Oh, come on! Why didn't I get to be one of the Rangers this time?"

"At least you get to move," Twilight said, who was in the role of Zoltar, the Pony Rangers' wise mentor. "I'm a giant floating blue head in a tube!"

"But that's because you're a smart, wise leader who guides them," Spike said. "I'm beginning to wonder if I ticked off the guy who makes these things years ago and he's been getting his revenge on me ever since by subtly altering the spells on these comics so that whenever I'm doing one, I always get stuck in the least heroic role."

At the Enchanted Comics Shop, the owner of the shop, Linked Aura, was viewing their progress on his TV that can view anypony's progress through one of the comics by switching "channels" at any point. He frowned, adjusting his trademark trilby (NOT a fedora, as he repeatedly had to explain to customers).

"Aw, crud, he's on to me," he muttered, deciding to change the channel to somepony else's comic.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Session 20.0 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 20.1 Alex Warlorn
Session 20.2 MtangaLion
Session 20.3 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 20.4 Zaku789
Session 20.5 Mooncalf99
Session 20.6 Mooncalf99
Session 20.7 Zaku789
Session 20.8 MtangaLion
Session 20.9 Kendell2
Session 20.10 Alex Warlorn
Session 20.11 Kendell2 (Based off Ultraman.)
Session 20.12 SomeRandomMinon (Remember the giant ponies RPG Brutality and I wrote up? Well, this scene/gag came to me when I was browsing the story for the trope page, and I just couldn't get it out of my head.

Consider it an alternate version of my addition in 10.0.)

Session 20.13 Alex Warlorn
Session 20.14 Jarkes (OOC: Based off of the good old Mighty Morphin Power Rangers in celebration of the new Power Rangers comic that's being made by Boom Studios. I deliberately made Fluttershy the Pink Ranger and Pinkie Pie the Yellow Ranger. And "Zoltar" is a reference to Zordon's original name from the pilot version of "Day of the Dumpster")

Cover art by dm29 http://dm29.deviantart.com/art/Roll-a-Seven-417875998

Session 21

Session 21.0 MtangaLion

Windy Whisper was up early, gliding over the streets of Ponyville about an hour before sunset. The grey thestral landed on the front steps of Twilight's castle, not sure what to expect, and found that the doors easily swung open at the touch of her hoof. "Hello?" she called.

"In here, darling!" said Rarity, waiting in the front hall. She waved a hoof and held up an letter in her magic, just like the letter that had popped out of thin air in Windy's den. "Princess Luna is setting up in the Map Room."

That made Windy miss a step. "*She's* here?"

Rarity grinned slyly, walking alongside her. "The two of you must be closer than you've let on. That's twice now that she's come to personally look in on you, isn't it?"

"Eh, who can tell with Princesses?" said Windy, keeping her face carefully neutral.

Luna was the only pony who knew that Windy Whisper was secretly the author of the Dusklight novels... except for Pinkie Pie, who seemed to know *everypony's* naughty secrets somehow, but Pinkie wasn't a fan and she'd readily promised not to tell. Even Windy's publisher didn't know where she'd gone on sabbatical, and Windy wanted it to stay that way.

So naturally, Windy was appalled when she entered the Map Room and saw a big box full of cards on the table, with "Dusklight: Forbidden Romance" on the box cover. "There's a game version... of *that*!? And I'm supposed to play it?" Not thinking, she shouted, "Merciful Luna, why!?"

Princess Luna herself, seated in Twilight's usual throne, coughed loudly. "A good evening to you, friends! An enterprising new group of developers contacted me, desiring feedback and approval for this prototype game before its release. We would be pleased if you played a game, whist we observe."

Meaning that they needed Windy's approval, as the author. She glanced around the table at the other prospective players. Rarity and Cheerilee looked excited to be here. Spike seemed neutral, and Big Macintosh was eyeing the box of cards like there might be a rattlesnake in there. "I'm sure that whatever they came up with, it'll be fine," said Windy smoothly. "They've already put a lot of effort into this, right? Publish, ship, let everypony make their bits. It'll be fine!"

"Oh, but that would not do," said Luna. "We are given to understand that proper playtesting is of paramount importance. Rarity, is it not true that you and your friends have sent many games back in need of major revisions, or advised that they were a poor idea altogether?"

"That's true," said Rarity, nodding. She glanced at Windy. "No offense, darling, but I'm a bit surprised that you haven't gone off on one of your usual tirades."

Windy stopped gnashing her teeth and blinked. "Huh?"

"You know, stereotypes... *assuming* that you must be a fan of Dusklight just because you're a thestral..."

"Oh, right." All the doublethink was making Windy's head ache. "But... I can't really say that. I mean, Luna here is the original Queen of the Night, and she's a huge fan... and she knows I was, well... super into Dusklight, but I kinda grew out of it. And you didn't actually assume I was a fan, Rarity. Heh, progress?"

Rarity smiled. "Let's play, shall we?"

The cards that Luna magically shuffled and distributed to them were *those* sorts of cards, with fancy artwork on the top third, and detailed instructions in the rest of the space, often with a quote from the novels at the bottom.

Rarity studied her cards, trying to puzzle through everything. "So, these are partly game pieces, and partly... roleplaying prompts? Well... this card says that it should be played first, so..." She laid a Main Character card face up on the table. "My character is Crystal, a lovely unicorn mare with a mysterious destiny!"

Cheerilee ooohed. Windy mimed gagging.

Luna shuffled some other cards and put one on the table. "The initial setting will be... ah, Manehatten. Crystal shall be a student at Manehatten University."

Spike scratched his head scales, then put down another Main Character card. "This one is... what's a good name? How about Straight Edge? He's another student at the university, and secretly a nightpony!"

Big Mac frowned. "A what, now?"

"Oh, you don't know?" asked Cheerilee. "Nightponies are a forgotten and cursed tribe, unable to generate any magic themselves, and tragically forced to drain the magic of other ponies to survive!"

Spike got kind of shifty-eyed. "Of course! I mean, that's what I've heard..."

"I'm surprised that Princess Twilight didn't want to play with us," mused Cheerilee. "She loves games, and this is her castle, after all."

Spike shrugged. "She said something about being too busy, because she had to shampoo her dragon. Which is kind of funny, because I'm her dragon! I thought she was going to enchant me with another mustache, or maybe even a beard, but I looked all over the castle and couldn't find her. Anyway..." He put a Dramatic Revelation card next to his first. "One day, an out of control flower cart rolls down a hill and nearly runs right over Crystal, but at the last second Straight Edge stops it with his nightpony super-strength! He gives her a *mysterious* look and runs off..."

"Really, now..." Rarity grinned slyly and played two more cards. "Crystal is immediately suspicious and searches for him about the campus, hearing the most fascinating rumors."

After several more rounds of that, Windy wanted to slam her head against the crystal table. Then she looked at her own cards and smirked. If she had to play, she might as well enjoy herself, right? "Hold it." She put down her own Main Character card. "Obsidia, Princess of the Nightponies, confronts Straight Edge and tell him to stop playing with his food, because she's his betrothed!" Then a Plot Twist card. "She abducts him and takes him back to her *mysterious* and cursed ancestral manor."

"Hey!" cried Spike. He shuffled through his cards. "Which of these can I escape with..."

Cheerilee giggled, playing her cards before Spike could. "And that's when Jasper makes his move on Crystal! He's a kirin."

"Um, Miss Cheerilee?" said Big Mac. "There ain't nothing mysterious or especially magical about kirins."

"Not in our world!" proclaimed Cheerilee. "But in Dusklight, kirins resemble ponies, but transform into full-sized dragons when they get angry! And Jasper proclaims that he's Crystal's one true love, not Straight Edge."

They went another twenty minutes like that, with Straight Edge escaping, Crystal getting foalnapped instead, and mysterious walks in mysterious moonlight, before Big Mac raised a hoof. "Excuse me, ya'll, but Ah'm still mighty confused as to what the point of all this is. Am Ah supposed to do what makes sense that mah character would do?" He showed them his own hero card. "Cause the best thing for Snarl of the wolfpony clans would be to plum stay out of all this and obey these wolfpony secrecy rules, which Ah'm sure were made for a good reason."

Windy gasped. "Big Mac, I could kiss you right now."

The temperature in the room dropped several degrees. "If thou wishest to kiss Big Macintosh," said Luna frostily, "thou needs must get in line."

"Just friends?" said Windy hastily.

"Sure thing, Miss Whisper," said Big Mac, holding out a hoof for her to shake.

Windy took it... and found herself lost in the handsome red colt's honest green eyes. Stop that, she told herself. Stop thinking about all those muscles, and how big his hoof is, and that carefree straw hair... Luna help her, she was totally going to write him into the next Dusklight book, wasn't she?

Immediately, the room warmed up again. -So there will be another book?- whispered Luna's voice in the back of Windy's head. -Huzzah!-

"Gah!" cried Windy. "I mean, yeah! Glad we straightened that out."

Luna spoke up. "The purpose of the game is to encourage the players to enjoy roleplaying an interesting tale in the style of the books, but the designers are still debating how to best accomplish that. For the time being... each card has a number in the corner, and your score increases for each card you are able to play within the specified rules."

"Well, why didn't ya say so from the start?" rumbled Big Mac. He laid down four more cards, one after another. "Snarl blindsides everypony by revealing that Jasper and Straight Edge are brothers from hundreds of years ago, one bitten by a nightpony and the other by a kirin. While they're fighting it out, Snarl kidnaps Crystal ta the Evershade Forest and tells her there's an ancient prophecy that they're destined to be lovers, and he'll bite her himself on the next full moon."

Windy blinked slowly. "Okay, I take that back about wanting to kiss him."

Big Mac chuckled. "Still friends?"

Windy smirked. "Sure, why not?"

Session 21.1 Kendell2

"Hide me!"

Shining Armor blinked, watching Chrysalis run into the room (for tonight's game) and rushing into a closet.

"...Is Cadence mad at you again?"

"No! Worse!"

Shining Armor's eyes widened. "Worse than that?!"

Cadence blinked, walking in. "Worse than what now?"

"Apparently worse than you..."

"HEY!"

"From Chrysalis' perspective while you're mad at her."

"Oh..."

Chrysalis poked out. "My mother heard about this and decided to drop by!"

Shining Armor blinked. "Wait, I thought you and your hive were born from a dark magic tree."

"I LIED! I TEND TO DO THAT!" the Queen yelled. "I was messing with your sister's head!...I like doing that."

"Chryssy, is that you?"

Shining Armor and Cadence turned to see the Changeling Queen's mother standing behind them. And she was just as intimidating as expected.

She was a little taller than Chrysalis, her carapace being a VERY burnt yellow (almost literally, looking like she'd been burned to the present color). Even the carapace around her mouth was serrated like teeth. Two tusks extended from them as well. Her She had holes like her daughter, but they seemed far more ragged. Her eyes were blood red with a dark pink where a pony would have white. She had a singed golden crown with a purple gem in the center, and regalia with butterflies and roses on them. Her wings were butterfly-like, but looked burned, pierced, and ragged.

"Uh...h-hello...Miss..."

"Empress Blackrose. Or Rosedust if you wish," the Changeling replied, sounding very friendly.

"Empress?" Cadence asked.

"Well my daughters are Queens, aren't they?" she asked, almost jokingly. "In all seriousness, I'm more like Queen Tiamat in comparison."

Cadence gulped a little bit. "Good to meet you, Empress Rosedust."

Rosedust nodded and gave a polite bow. "My pleasure Princess. I apologize for the problems my daughter caused you. Speaking of which, I thought I heard her..."

Chrysalis eeped, trying to hide...only for her mother to rush over and hug her, much to Cadence and Shining's shock. "Chryssy! There you are! I'm so proud of you for not trying to conquer something for how many weeks has it been?"

"I...forgot..." Chrysalis gasped out. "Mother...can't breathe!"

"Oh, sorry..." Rosedust replied, dropping her and letting her wheeze for air.

"So...Empress Rosedust...what game did you want to play?" Cadence cautiously asked.

"Oh! This one!" Rosedust replied, producing Crystals and Rainbows Generation 3.5.

"So, Rosedust, you don't mind ponies?" Shining Armor questioned.

"Oh goodness no. I used to BE one," Rosedust replied, her character, also named Rosedust, giving Shining's flowers.

"Really?" Shining asked.

"Yes, it involved a dragon, love poison, and chaos reigning. I think you've heard the story...Speaking of which, is Discord really reformed?"

"...Yeah, he's changed a lot..." Shining said, staring wide eyed at that revelation.

"...Hmm...I see...Well if he steps out of line, call me."

"I'll...keep that in mind."

"Good...Oh! You have crystal berry cookies!" she said, seeming more like a pony than a terrifying bug monster.

Cadence looked to Chrysalis. "Why are you so terrified of her? She seems nice. Even if she looks a little frightening..."

"If you think THAT'S scary you should see her 'game face.' And why? Why are dragons terrified of Tiamat?" Chrysalis spat back. "That and she's a hugger..."

Session 21.2 Kichi

Twilight was staring to the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

"Okay girls, what did we learn?" Asked Twilight.

"To not begin a game without knowing the rules?" Asked Apple Bloom.

"And...?" Asked Twilight.

"To ask before playing a game that have strange sounds of drums that only we can hear?" Ask Sweetie Belle.

"And...?" Asked Twilight again.

"To not play a game we found in the cellar of Discord's house even if in theory we go upstairs and not down? And if it has a similar name to a movie game, maybe it could be better to not touch?" Asked Scootaloo looking the game in the table of the friendship castle with the word 'JUMANJI'.

"Okay... Now, I need to find how to tell Mr. Rich that his daughter is missing and probably in danger, again, for third time this week," sighed Twilight.

Session 21.3 Alex Warlorn

"So... what's the point of this here game again?" Applejack asked. "We're playing prison guards?"

"Oh no," Spike said back in the DM seat. "You're playing as CONVICTS!"

"SAY WHAT?" The mane six replied.

"So what are we in for? Baking the world's biggest cake without a permit? Robbing the first national cookie bank of Equestria or-" Pinkie rambled.

"Actually, it doesn't come up in game." Spike said.

"Really Spikey-Wickey?" Rarity fluffed her mane. "If we going to be role playing convicted criminals, I think we should know WHY we're in prison."

"I'm just going by the game rules." Spike said. "The point of the game is to escape prison."

"Then what?" Applejack asked.

"Then you win the game."

"That's it? Not provin' our innocence or movin' to Mexicolt? Cause seriously, Ah think I'd rather live out my sentence..."

Spike shrugged. "The premise of the game is to build up skills and items, and eventually find a way to escape."

"Oh my... I think... I may want to skip out on this one." Fluttershy admitted.

"Ah'm not sure it's my cup of tea neither."

"Oh don't be sticks in the mud! It's just pretend," RD said. "We break into creatures homes, kill them, and take their stuff all the time in O&O."

"That's... different," Twilight defended. "Those monsters are normally evil."

Spike sighed. "Do you girls want to play or not? I felt really compelled to buy this game."

Far away, Chrysalis chuckled. "Yes yes! Seeing Twilight and her friends role playing imprisoned criminals, just a tiny speck of light to my otherwise miserable day!"

"I'm willing to give it a try darling." Rarity admitted. "Assuming it's one of those equinane prisons and not one of those filthy dungeons."

Rainbow Dash giggled.

"What's so funny darling?"

"Oh... just this makes me remember the first six months after we kicked Tirek's butt and got the crystal castle."

"Yes so?"

"Just Discord's house arrest."

"Oh." Fluttershy blushed.

Luna slipped a small collar on Discord's neck.

"Now, if younder Discord gives ye any trouble, simply press this button on this magic amulet-"

"Lulu, it's a remote." Celestia whispered.

"And Discord shall be struck by the fury of the heavens."

"He'll receive an electric shock."

"I SAID I WAS SORRY!" Discord defended. "I really AM reformed for reals this time! I swear!"

"And we believe you Discord." Twilight said. "This is just... for all the ponies who don't."

"Well I say to them -WAAAGAAGAGAGAGAGA!" Discord spasmed.

"Sorry darling, just testing it," Rarity said politely.

"Well... now you know it works, and hopefully you can-WAAAAAGAGAGAGAGAAAAA!"

Rainbow Dash said with a straight face. "Sorry, my hoof must have slipped on the button."

".... I know you want to do it too Twilight ... so just get it over with."

"Discord! I... I could never do that! It would serve no purpose and I am not that petty!"

Applejack pushed the button.

"WAAGAGAGAGAGAG-!"

"APPLEJACK!"

"If ya weren't gonna take yer turn."

"-WAAAAAGGAGAGAGAGGGAAAAA-"

"Uh... Ah think the button's stuck." Applejack said rather awkwardly.

-

"Makes you wonder why we didn't do the same for Trixie and Starlight," Rainbow Dash recollected.

"Trixie was under the influence of an evil ancient artifact that may or may not have a mind of its own. And Starlight is under my royal protection. Anypony who attacks her, is as good as attacking a princess of Equestria."

"Oh."

Fluttershy was happy Discord, nor Trixie, nor Starlight was here to hear this. It took them a while to get the button unstuck. Then Pound and Pumpkin got their hooves on the remote.

Session 21.4 Ardashir

Flashback!

"Hey, Pip, whatcha got there?"

"I don't know, Scootaloo. I found it outside a window at the Cake's shop. It must be a toy, but I don't know what it does. I've been pressing this button for an hour and nothing's happened." He prssed the button, held it, and let it go after several minutes. "See what I mean?"

Back at the Palace:

Discord groaned and twitched, his hide smoking. At least he'd been able to tear himself away from the pool this time before the alicorn-powered electricity hit.

"Oh, Discord," Fluttershy said, patting his head. "Are you afraid you'll die?"

"No," he moaned. Blue sparks sprayed from him as with wild shrieks, his skeleton showed clearly through his skin (Or somebeing's anyway, going from a pony to a dragon to a griffon) before stopping. "I'm afraid I'll live!"

Session 21.5 Dragon-of-Twilght

A knock suddenly resounded in the castle of friendship, making Twilight jump a bit. Another followed a second later. "Um... Spike? Were we expecting anything important?"

The drake looked up from his latest comic. "I don't think so... and the mailmare usually just comes to the balcony."

A third knock made Twilight set down her book with a sigh and walk out onto the mentioned balcony. She glanced down at the steps and spotted a reddish-brown pegasus stallion standing at... well, her castle gates, for lack of a better term. She could see him carrying a bag in his mouth from this angle, but couldn't make out much else. "It's open," she called down, "but you're better off just flying up here."

The pegasus looked in her direction, then flapped his way up to the balcony. "Princess Twilight," he said in greeting, then bowed to her.

"Er, can you not do that... please?" Twilight fidgeted nervously on the spot. "I... really don't like having ponies bowing to me."

"As you wish." The pony set the bag he'd brought with him down and stood up once more, revealing a pair of green rimmed glasses around a pair of equally green eyes. "Hello, your majesty. My name is Coffee Swirl, I own Beautiful Day Cafe over on Meadow lane; and I'm the one who sent you that modified Warhorse adaptation."

"Oh..." Twilight eyed the stranger carefully, then the bag. "I'm guessing that's what that's for."

"Yes," Coffee Swirl admitted. "I've made a few modifications based on your critiques of the story and the game mechanics, as well as expanded on a few other details you and your friends took issue with."

Twilight nodded slowly. "Okay... but I'm afraid we don't have a game scheduled for tonight; everypony was too busy."

"That isn't why I'm here anyway, your majesty." Coffee Swirl, either ignoring or not seeing Twilight's look of annoyance, fished out the notebook that had served as the rules manual while this thing was still in the design phase of things. "I still have a few sticking points that I can't quite work out on my own. I was hoping that, as someone who has played the game and read the story from an outside perspective, you could offer me some advice on how to fix them."

Twilight nodded again. "I... suppose that makes sense."

"Also, I've been tinkering with a mechanic that might make this setting a bit more palatable for most ponies. But, it's been giving a few headaches; you're intelligent, so I figured you can help me hammer out the whole thing. If you're not busy, I mean; and, you know, assuming that asking a princess for help with something so trivial isn't an arrest-able offense."

Twilight blinked, then took hold of the book with her magic. "I'm pretty sure it's not," she said with a smile. "And it's not like I mind helping another pony out." She opened the book and skimmed over the marked up pages. "Let's see... still no explanation for Sombra's crystallizing of three of us..."

"That's one of the things I want your help with," Coffee Swirl said with a wingshrug. "But I did finally put together a reason he corrupted Luna into Nightmare Moon."

Twilight flipped through a few more pages. "Hm... he's hoping to use the Elements?"

He nodded. "Yes, since, given the timeframe he would be from, he'd have known about her wielding three of them against Discord the first time. With three of you six already under his control, he's hoping to use her to make up the difference and take Discord out of the picture and start spreading his own ideas of 'Harmony'."

Twilight blinked, but nodded slightly. "What about Nightmare Moon herself? I mean, she can't be happy in a secondary role..."

"She's not," Coffee Swirl said. "But she also recognizes the threat Discord would pose to her as well; so their goals coincide for now, but she's also working her own plans in secret."

Another nod. "Okay... still a bit hesitant about this whole premise, but I'll help you where I can." She started to walk back inside. "You mentioned something about a new mechanic you were having trouble with..."

Coffee Swirl nodded as he bent down to retrieve his bag. "Yes," he said around the handle as he followed her inside. "I was trying to work in a redemption mechanic... but something that required a bit more to it than just doing really good at a Diplomacy roll."

Twilight's magic flared once more, shutting the balcony doors behind them as they walked inside to continue their discussion.

Session 21.6 Alex Warlorn

"I've got to admit Spike," Twilight said. "This feels kind of awkward."

"What?" Spike shrugged. "You girls played those modules that were based on all your adventures and ... mostly had fun with it."

"Yes but... " Twilight felt odd saying this. "All of us as Princesses, isn't that kinda strange?"

"Yes Princess, that's totally strange," Rainbow said.

Twilight silently cursed Trixie for giving Rainbow Dash that idea of using her title a teasing nickname even when RD hadn't been there to begin with!

-

"ANOTHER bad claw Trixie?" Mina asked confused.

"It's like I've been cursed by a goddess or something," Trixie said at her improably high bad luck for the last few games.

-

"I mean... none of you have fantasized about being Alicorns right?"

Her friends broke out innocent whistling... except Applejack. AJ looked at her friends confounded.

"Oh come on!" Twilight exasperated.

"Of course not darling!" Rarity said sweeting bullets. I'd never want to have the trouble of those wings, so hard to accessorize, and having to redo my entire wardrobes, not to say they don't look good on all of you, and the natural beauty of earth ponies physiques, those simply dashing wings and their transcendent loveliness, with beauty that will never age, to be loved and admired by the entire people, to be worshipped and praised, to be eternal, and... and... excuse me!" Rarity zoomed into a nearby closet, screamed, and came out. "I'm good."

"A princess can't be a Wonderbolt, so I couldn't be one of those." Rainbow Dash blushed.

"Yes you can," Twilight said then covering her mouth.

"REALLY!?"

"Yes... uh... there's no law against it... at worst they'd bar you from any military operations and limit you to public performances."

Rainbow Dash grinned.

"Uh... if I was a Princess I'd protect all the animals of Equestria." Fluttershy said. "Uh, if that wasn't a problem for everyone else of course."

"OF COURSE I dreamed of that! . . . I've dreamed of everything. Well not everything because then my dreams would be boring, and what could be worse than that? Well other than there being no more wheat due to chocolate rain, and so no more cupcakes. But I have most definitely dreamed of being a princess!" Pinkie Pie said with a smile.

Applejack crossed her arms and huffed. "Well, Ah'm an earth pony and proud of it! Ya won't find me with wings and a horn, so no sir-re-bob! Thank ya very much!"

1000 Years Later (of course)

Princess Pinkie Pie (Thalia), Princess Fluttershy (Gaia), Princess Rarity (Lucia), Princess Twilight (Amicitia), Princess Rainbow Dash (Fidelitas), all stood grinning at Princess Applejack (Vertias). It was so silent you could hear a pin drop.

"Shut it!" The Goddess of Honesty snapped.

"What are ya grinnin' at Pinkie Pie?"

"Oh nothing." Pinkie Pie said in that sly voice after a flash of her pinkie sense.

"Look, I think this is kinda cool, so ya girls wanna play or not?"

"Yes!" All said except Twilight and Applejack, who conceded to the majority vote.

-

"And so the mountain sized shadow of King Sombra rises over you, a pair of dark wings springing out behind him."

"WHAT?! Sombra's an Alicorn too?!" Applejack exasperated.

"Hey... you didn't think the Alicornification wave was gonna effect just NICE ponies did you? And seriously! Did you really think I was gonna Game Master an adventure of you girls effortlessly curb-stomping through every bad guy you've ever fought?"

Rarity sighed. "I supposed darling it WOULD BE rather boring after the taste of absolute power wore off... Well, we're STILL going to win!"

"That's the spirit!"

-

Princess Applejack crossed her forelegs. "It's not like the princess is a big deal now anyways!"

"Lala-lalala-lala-la-la!" Princess Derpy/Muffins/Bubbles/Ditzy Doo sang as she pranced along.

Session 21.7 Alex Warlorn

Spike awoke in the middle in the night, to find Princess Twilight hunch over one of the machines she'd brought over from the other side of the mirror. She didn't worry about 'cultural contamination' or such nonsense, why shouldn't two perfectly mature civilization trade ideas and technology? However, Twilight looked exhausted.

"Uh... Twilight, you okay?"

"WHO WHO!"

Spike whispered. "I know Owlowcious! I was being polite!"

"Uuuuugh. Just, fine Spike, just... busy."

"If this is another of those 'click' games."

"No, I swear, you don't have to set the computer on fire this time... " Twilight said in a tired voice. "It's just.. something other me called a 'point and click' adventure game..."

On the screen was a little pony figure (reality adaption apparently applied to some video games too, go figure), in a pixelated environment. Below were countless action options. Open. Close. Look. Speak. See. Touch. Taste. Listen. Hit. Pull. Push. Hug. Take. Give. Combine. Use. Read. Swallow. Walk to. Use.

There was a slight jingle sound, and a witty narrator voice rang from the speakers. "You put the button in the empty soda can and tied it to the stick and danced a jig and fed it to the goat. After reading the dance book that was two pixel wide and one pixel high in the far background of the library after stealing the reading glasses from the library after getting the radio to play her favorite rock song after rigging a lottery to win a million dollars that you couldn't use to just BUY a set of reading glasses or a battering ram or anything else useful or productive. This causes the front door to unlock. How did it do that? Heck if we know, we're just the game developers. Ha ha."

"I... I got it open... ha... ha... take that.... game..." Twilight said.

The narrator's peppy voice rang out as Twilight's character walked through the door.

"Inside... you find your father... who is already dead.. and you find in his pocket a note that says he wasn't kidnapped by aliens, he just ran away with a call-girl, the aliens just happened to crash land at the same place... so your entire quest has been a total and complete waste. Ha ha."

Princess Twilight's eyes rolled in the back of her head and she fainted. Spike carried her back to bed. After setting the game disc on fire.

"Let's stick to playing Equestria online from now on."

Session 21.8 BrutalityInc

"Alright, you encountered an orc warrior. Judging by his attire and scars, you recognize him as the orc that killed your parents!" Spike the GM extrapolated.

"Enraged, I raise my staff and hit him with a Magic Missile Storm!" Trixie declared dramatically, appealing to her inner actress, before tossing the dice.

The dice rolled... and landed on a zero.

Stunned silence reigned for a moment around the table.

"You... er... begin hitting on him." Spike muttered, "As in, the flirting sort of hitting. The orc is appropriately disturbed."

Trixie opened and closed her mouth, staring eye-wided at the dice, before finally exclaiming "How in Equestria IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE?!"

Rainbow Dash meanwhile descended into hooting laughter. "Look on the bright side, Trixie, at least you just ruined your character's reputation, not the whole campaign!"

Session 21.9 Mtangalion

Garble landed next to Princess Applejack. "You said it. Heck, just look at me. I'm the dragon god of hugs now."

Pinkie teleported into his arms. "Ooh, ooh! One hug, please!"

"What?!" exclaimed Princess Twilight. "Didn't Spike ever cancel his command as the Dragon Lord to hug every dragon you meet?"

Pinkie used her Alicorn magic to turn into a dragon with cotton-candy pink scales. "Okay, now dragon hugs!"

Gargle smirked, rolling his eyes, and glomped Pinkie again. "Nah, he told Ember to tell me I could knock it off nine hundred and ninety-nine years ago... but by then it was too late."

Twilight covered her mouth with a hoof, trying not to laugh. "You mean..."

"I like hugs!" proclaimed Garble, loud enough for half of Ponyville to hear. "You wanna make something of it? Huh?!"

Pinkie transformed again. "Okay, now griffon hugs!"

"Again?" huffed Garble. "Look, this is fun, but I don't have all eternity. Oh wait, I guess I do!"

Session 21.10 BrutalityInc

A new edition of ‘PASSAGE: Thus the JMEF fought’ was being published, and as one of the first subscribers of game company’s new monthly magazine, Canterlot-High-verse Shining Armor and co were among those who would receive a premium copy of the new edition.

A thorough review of the game showed that there were considerable differences from the previous edition; many changes and overhauls had been made, to the point it seemed only the basic premise remained relatively intact. Surprisingly, many of these changes were justified in-universe with the storyline moving forward, from two weeks to two months into the counterattack, with both sides of the conflict adapting to changing circumstances.

“The Empire in the Unknown Region beyond the passage has refused the UN envoy’s demands of reparations for the damage done during the Portal Incident, as well as return any prisoners they had taken to be enslaved. They are mobilizing for total war, raising new legions against the JMEF, bringing out elite troops that they have held back, getting tributary realms of their Empire to send their magical and non-magical troops to support them …” Gizmo noted as he read through the core rulebook, “Clever of the designers; that way, the players role-playing Recon Teams and Special Forces would face stronger and more numerous numbers of Imperial forces in each encounter.”

Indeed, in-universe, the JMEF are starting to take some casualties in their campaign against the Empire at the fantasy world; a few helicopter gunships were lost to lucky hits from enchanted ballista bolts and arcane spell-fire (Setting up scenarios where players had to rescue stranded pilots behind enemy lines, or play as stranded pilots who must make their way back to JMEF bases). A whole company of soldiers was recorded to have been decimated by poisonous gases, alchemically synthesized by potion-makers and then deployed by wyvern riders, before the rest could don NBC gears. Druids from a tributary kingdom raised a forest overnight, which blocked the advance of a JMEF mechanized regiment into Imperial territory.

The JMEF were still holding a significant advantage by virtue of weapons and warfare experience a thousand years ahead of the Imperials, but it was no longer looking like the easy nigh-inevitable win that the first edition had implied. In fact, political and economic troubles back home meant that logistics and reinforcements are being strained, stalling the JMEF advance and making victory much more difficult, if still very likely.

“Of course, the Imperials are not the only ones who had adapted.” 8-Bit interjected, skimming through supplementary books on equipment and organization, “Local culture and language had been clarified sufficiently for the modern world people to start establishing friendly relations with local nations and races. The JMEF has been cleared by the UN’s provisional strategic committee to hire local mages to help them in battle and enchant their equipment. Local militias and rebels against the Empire are being recruited as allies, being trained and armed with out-dated surplus weapons. And tactics against various monsters are being codified.”

“Speaking of which, magic and monsters in the game has also been given an upgrade compare to the last edition.” Gaffer added, highlighting certain paragraphs, “Apparently, the deities in the Unknown Region are taking an interest in the JMEF’s counter-invasion, and is subtly manipulating events in the background in order to make things even more interesting. For example, Loros, the goddess of sorcery, is increasing the presence of magic in the world by several folds and whispering new spells into the minds of mortal mages to boost magic users and artefacts; Kunir, god of the hunt, is awakening more ancient creatures and powerful monsters to oppose the JMEF when they trespass their territory; Dopatus, god of trickery and deceit, is having his followers – rogues, spies and assassins –secretly sabotaging JMEF efforts wherever they could and sowing distrust against them among the locals they encounter.”

“Kunir should explain why dragons are changed from very difficult enemies to nigh-invulnerable bosses that could only be killed in special events.” Shining Armor noted, reading through a guidebook of the monsters and entities in the Unknown Region, “Not that I don’t like the game makers fleshing out the pantheon a bit more this edition, but it does leave a few plot-holes. For one thing, if the gods don’t like the JMEF charging in guns-blazing and making a mess of things, what’s stopping them from just closing the portal off immediately?”

“Actually, that’s quite simple: self-interest and dissension in the ranks.” Gaffer explained, pointing to the appropriate page, “These guys don’t have a king of gods, and most of them aren’t even family. With so many conflicting personalities and bad blood between them, it’s inevitable that there’s a lot of differences in how they view the JMEF. Now at least three of the major gods wanted to keep the Portal open, not counting the lesser gods: Joth, the god of knowledge and wisdom, wanted to learn about the culture, philosophy, history and advanced sciences of the Modern World and has extended an invitation through his worshippers for the Modern World academicians to visit his patron city of knowledge in the mortal plane. Hartha, the goddess of wealth and prosperity, wanted to learn economics from and trade with the immensely wealthy modern civilization, and is rumoured to be the main driver behind restarting the peace negotiations. Heck, Mordon, the god of war and violent death, liked the JMEF’s weapons and soldiers’ capacity for carnage so much he gave his Acolyte permission to join the JMEF as an associate upon her request!”

“Acolyte? Who and what’s that?” 8-Bit asked, curiosity piqued.

“A general consensus exists amongst the gods of the Unknown Region, in which no one among them are allowed to interfere directly with the world.” Gizmo explained, reading through the book, “However, they can give blessings to worshippers, and use Acolytes, who are emissaries of the gods, raised to demi-godhood to act as their representatives upon the mortal plane. The Acolytes are warriors without peer, given superhuman senses, strength, speed and other powers and weapons to run the gods’ errands, and are immortal.”

Gizmo pointed to an artwork, depicting Mordon’s Acolyte posing for a photo-shoot with the smiling crew of the JMEF main battle tank right behind them. On appearance, she looked like any ordinary teenage girl… were it not for the crimson and black armoured battle-dress that make her look like a gothic Valkyrie, and the giant faintly-glowing rune-marked two-handed divine battle axe resting on her shoulders. She looked happy, like a kid who’s just got her birthday present, but the blood-red pupils of her eyes and her slightly unhinged grin hinted at the inhuman age, power and savage bloodlust beneath her cute human exterior.

“Should had expected the servant of the local war god to help out JMEF… But what happens if the JMEF have to fight one of those Acolytes?” Shining Armor asked, suddenly going pale at the prospects, “I don’t know if there’s anything we have that could possibly put them down permanently, and even Mordon’s Acolyte can’t be everywhere at once!”

“I suppose that’s the whole point of their existence: to give the players an immense challenge that some reviewers had said the first edition was lacking.” Gizmo speculated, thinking hard about the implications, “In that regard, looks like the designers had delivered. But I don’t think they would be THAT terrifying to face in open combat.”

Needless to say, Gizmo had no idea how wrong he was.

Session 21.11 Kendell2

Discord sat at a pink frilly table. "Alright, first annual game night for the League Of Reformed Villains, Antagonists, Jerks, and Madponies! Role call. Discord?"

A second Discord appeared in a tutu. "Here!"

"Sunset Shimmer?"

Sunset Shimmer, in her pony form, raised hoof. "Present."

"Trixie?"

"The Humble and Apologetic Trixie is present!" Trixie exclaimed dramatically.

"Babs Seed?"

"Righ' here!" Babs replied, blowing her mane out of her eyes.

"Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon?"

"Here!" the two added, sitting next to each other. Diamond gave an uncertain look at Babs.

"Gilda?"

Gilda waved a claw. She was admittedly still a bit unsettled around Discord, but did her best after he'd tried to make up for it.

"Starlight Glimmer?"

Starlight raised a hoof. "Present."

"Spoiled Rich?"

Spoiled Rich looked uncomfortable, but nodded. "I managed to make it...for Diamond's sake..." the formally abusive mother replied.

"Good, hope some of the Shadows haven't forgotten we redeemed you...Should Flurry Heart be here or not?"

Starlight's eyes went wide. "Why?!"

"Well she DID nearly destroy the Crystal Empire."

"Well she IS a newborn," Starlight replied.

"Ugh...of course, children are innocent...except those three...formally. Anyhoo, let's get this party started!"

"What about me?" asked Buttons at the window.

"You're still half jerk, and the other half is brainwashed, sorry," Discord replied, pulling down the shades. "Any OTHER questions?"

"Why are we at Fluttershy's house?" Diamond Tiara asked.

"Because it was either this or the DIMENSION OF CHAOS! And the chaos abominations don't like outsiders...because they're chaos abominations," Discord replied nonchalantly. "Any other questions?"

"Why do ya have such big eyebrows?" Babs asked.

"Don't mock my GREAT CHAOTIC EYEBROWS!"

"I wasn't, Ah was jus' curious."

"Oh...because they're cool," Discord replied. He then produced a game called Heroes of Maretropolis where you got to make your own superhero. "We're playing this. Because irony."

Session 21.12 BrutalityInc

Then the door swung open, and none other than the Princess of the Night, dressed for battle, came trotting in.

"BEHOLD! THE NIGHT PRINCESS HATH ARRIVED!"

Luna saw the others holding their hooves to their ears, and blushed as she continued on with her normal voice.

"Apologies for my lateness, everypony. Both sister and I had urgent business to attend to, involving black magic and cake. Less said about it the better." Luna explained as she took off her helmet, "Nevertheless, we heard there is a meeting for the reformed and redeemed, no? We look forward to have much fun and reverie!"

"But... But you weren't even invited!" Babs exclaimed.

There was a moment so silence. Then everypony blanched and held their ears shut at what was coming.

"WHAT?!"

Session 21.13 Zaku789

"PULL!" Garble shouted as a dragon threw a doll shape like a certain dragon in the air, he unleashed a fireball that destroy the doll instantly.

"Dude, when will you stop, it's been three week already," Fume (The blonde hair dragon) said.

"Yeah, it was funny at first but now it's kinda annoying." Clump (The brown dragon) said.

"Oh I'm sorry, were you force to give hugs to every dragon till you got home 'cause of a pony lover who had the shortest reign ever? No? Then keep making the dolls!" Garble roared. "Besides you don't see Crackle complaining."

"That's 'cause Crackle's the caltapult, not the dummy makers," Clump said annoyed.

"Bleurgh!" Crackle said happily.

"Whatever point, if I find out that namby-pamby pony lover spreading that tale about the hugging thing, it's going to be him that's blasted apart! I ain't afraid of no dragon lord past or current, and that goes double for any Dragon Town defectees."

"Hey Master Babylon and Former Dragon-Lord Torch." The two teenager said blandly.

"AHHHH!!!" Garble screech in fear as he flew out of there as if he had windigoes on his tail.

"Can't believe he fell for that," Fume said. "This place is way too sunny for either to have suddenly appeared behind him."

"At least now we can stop making these dummies, wanna play king of the horde?" Clump asked.

"You know it!"

Session 21.14 Kendell2

"Alright, now that we've settled that..." Discord said, currently mildly singed. "Seriously, I was just trying to be considerate and let you sleep."

"We may have overreacted...slightly..." said Luna. "We just do not like being excluded is all...Past experiences with abandonment and so on."

"I can relate to that," Starlight admitted.

Discord cleared his throat. "Let's make our characters already."

"Alright, here is MY amazing superhero," Discord said with his normal amount of ham. There was a betting pool about whether he or Trixie would outham the other. He showed a picture of a pony with a completely weird mixmatch outfit on. "Captain Nonsense! A pony who fell into an unstable vortex after being doused with chemicals at the same time he was struck by lightning on a Leap Year while eating banana pizza, and gained the ability to do anything so long as it is NOT logical to do in that particular situation!"

"The game requires a weakness, right?" Starlight reminded, looking at the paper.

Discord grumbled. "Fine. If someone can logically explain how something he's doing would LOGICALLY work in that situation his power fails. How's that?"

Starlight nodded. "That's better."

"Diamond and I made this one for me," said Spoiled Rich explained, showing a picture. It resembled the Jewel Cutter design Diamond had made before, but much more heroic. "Power Jewel is a reformed super villain. She used to desire to rule everything with an iron hoof, but realized the pain she was causing her family and repented, now she uses her power for good. She has an amulet that gives her the ability to turn into living diamond and super strength."

Diamond and Spoiled smiled to each other. It was still a tiny bit awkward, but clearly improved over how they were before.

"Trixie's superhero is Madam Amazing! She was once a humble stage magician who learned magic arts from an ancient and powerful mage! Now she has magical abilities far beyond the comprehension of mere mortals!" Trixie announced, showing her hero, who looked exactly like Trixie but in an elaborate and epic looking mage outfit.

Discord rolled his eyes. "And they say I have an ego..." he muttered.

Luna cleared her throat. "Wonderful designs, Our Subjects! But behold the Princess of the Night's superheroine!" she announced, showing hers...who was a shadowy black mare with demon wings, navy blue armor, and a flaming skull for a head, drawn in a very terrifying art style. "Her name is Night Terror! She is a spirit of vengeance who unleashes her terrifying wrath upon the unjust! She has the ability to bring to life the wicked's most darkest fears and her tartarus fire burns hotter the more sinful her enemy is!"

The Princess of the Night blinked, noticing the children were cowering behind Spoiled and everypony else was staring at her wide-eyed.

"...Is something wrong?"

They shook their heads.

"She's just terrifying," Discord replied bluntly.

"...So?" Luna questioned, seeming naive to how terrifying others found her taste is aesthetics.

"Oh...Then we're good."

Session 21.15 BrutalityInc (Makes me wonder, though, who's going to be the GM?)

Babs Seed beamed as she showed her work to the rest of the table. "I'm Scissorhooves! My character is a master swords-mare with a pair of enchanted scissor-blades that could slice and cut through virtually everything! Too bad she's pretty much hapless without them."

"A pony who could cut through anything. Now where did I seen that before...?" Discord mused as Babs went on with her character's backstory.

= = =

"Why do I have a feeling somepony is ripping off my talent?" Snips muttered suddenly.

"That's just your imagination, boy! Now focus and help me with my puppets, sonny!" snapped Claude.

Sighing, Snips turned his attention back to help making new props and puppets for the the gonkish unicorn of a puppeteer who is his father, all the while wishing he could go back to hanging out with Snails.

Session 21.16 BrutalityInc

As it was, while Trixie, Luna and Discord are all well-versed in the ways of terror and ham, someone else on the table was destined to out-do them all.

"BEHOLD, the SUBTERRAINER! I've always been beneath you! But NOTHING, is beneath ME!" The GM declared, roleplaying the villain who bursted out of the ground in a giant drill tank, "I hereby declare WAR on PEACE and HAPPINESS! SOON ALL WILL TREMBLE BEFORE ME!!!"

All present at the table stared at the GM in stunned awe, many with mouths agaped.

"That... that was so cool!" Babs Seed was the one who gave voice of the opinions held by half the table.

'Who would hath thought this mare had it in her.' Luna thought quietly.

"Well, someone seemed to have taken Gilda's training to heart." Discord said with a sly grin.

"Emm..." Fluttershy the GM blushed at the stares directed at her, "Too much?"

Session 21.17 Mtangalion

Gilda gave Fluttershy a claws up. "Nice! My turn now." She held up a character sheet with a hatchlingish scrawl of a griffon wearing a chef's hat and apron with a domino mask. "My character was just another short order cook until she found the Chef Hat of Majesty, passed down from her glorious chef ancestors! Now she fights for justice as the Hostess! No crook with taste can resist her scrumptious golden fruit-filled pies!"

"Interesting," mused Discord. "I'm surprised you didn't go for the living large sort of hero." He snapped his fingers, and Gilda squawked, blowing up to twice her usual size.

"Oooh." Gilda grinned, trying to play it cool while sweeping the crushed remains of her chair aside. "Er, yeah, I tried that already with Spike's group. Seems like the arch-nemesis of Big Chief was the insurance claims adjuster, and every bad guy smart enough to stay indoors."

"Um, Mr. Discord?" said Babs Seed, annoyed about being crowded against Gilda's flank. "Yous can change her back now..." Gilda muffled her with a wing. "Hey!"

"Sorry, what was that?" said Discord. "I have weasels in my ears." He pulled two live weasels out of his ears, sure enough, and they scampered around the game table until Fluttershy coaxed them into her mane.

Session 21.18 Alex Warlorn

Programmer Discord made sure that the 'plausible denial' thing was iron clad, so Celly and Lulu could never accuse him of putting pony versions of them in the game... then again, it wasn't like either of them even played MMOs, so he was safe.

Vice President of Crystalsoft, Chrysalis (who rumors said had mobs connections, yes, rumors) had taken a look at Discord's final script and laughed evilly. Thinking how in the second expansion, how SHE could use this sort of thing to manipulate players and string them along, then hit them hard with those delightful things called 'Player Punches.' At least company President Sombra's in game character was proving to be just a generic evil overlord with no real personality or backstory, which mean more resources for the plague of the changelings.

Discord was still a little sour at not getting to use some of his more 'creative ideas' (the hypno screens and sadistic self modifying AI to prey on the player's insecurities), but you win some, you lose some.

Discord's new intern, Scorpan, asked uncertain. "Are you sure about this end game for the discorded path?"

"Trust me kid. Players love this sort of thing, well, not when it happens to them, but they love it from a gamer perspective."

+

Shining Armor SMILED when he saw a certain email, and smiled even wider when he saw the contents and called up his friends to share the good news.

After many, MANY DELAYS, arguments, compromises, and maybe one or two fist fights, the first expansion of World of Horsecraft had been released, Reins of Chaos. And introducing the new villain for the expansion, Discord, The Spirit of Disharmony.

The Human Twilight Sparkle, Spike The Dog, and the Human Six, had all been surprised when Princess Twilight had turned down going on this quest line, and so had Moonlight surprisingly enough.

So REALPrincess the Pegasus, and Moonlight the Pegasus, wouldn't joining them. Sunset Shimmer, as RisingSun, would be joining the quest line, but she acted like it was a form of self punishment or something.

+

PurplePup, FaithfulStudent, along with the others began to log into World of Horsecraft.

Indeed, the game company had offered a 'micro-transaction' to have players who wish to change their mares to stallions, but under the condition there was 'take backsies' and it was limited to players whose characters had been made before the expansion had been added. Many players kept their PCs as mares just as protest at the exploitive nature of the deal.

+

Being from Crystal Prep, the ShadowBolt 5 had to wait a while longer before finding time to do the Reins of Chaos Quest Line.

They were surprised when chatting with Crystal Prep Alumni Shining Armor via camera chat ... he had given them a strange warning.

"You DON'T want to go down the Stay Discorded Route! You just don't! Trust me!" Shining Armor the paladin said, a scared, haunted look in his eyes. "It's... it's not worth it... I... Me and my friends tried it out... you won't like what's at the end. I... I don't know if I can Gleaming Shield anymore. I thought we'd do it just once, for fun before trying the other quest line... but..."

Needless to say, this made them want to try it out even more.

+

After the quest began, 'Discorded' Ponies, ponies where acting rude, hostile, or outright insane began to replace normal NPCs. And Princess Celestia summoned them, warning of Discord's return, and needing the Element of Harmony again to defeat Discord... except... Discord appeared... apparently somehow already having stolen them.

And having to fight through several royal guards who had been Discorded along with several other innocent brainwashed ponies... they came to the maze... there... Discord systematically used 'Discordance' on each of the player characters... it didn't wear off and couldn't be removed... and Discord was listed as friendly and the other players as hostile... until, the entire party had been.

The game offered two quest lines at this point, one involved freeing yourself and others from Discord's control, the other ... was spreading the corruption. And the rewards listed for following the discorded path were actually surprisingly a lot more impressive than the ones for the reharmonized path. Gamer logic dictated which path to follow.

+

"My little ponies... though you have been discorded by Discord ... know that I still love you, and that I can not raise my horn against you, for you are all my herd, my foals, I plead for your inner goodness, walk away from this path and return to the road of harmony and fight against Discord."

*Princess Celestia is Sparing You*

Princess Celestia on the front gates of Canterlot stood there, not making any attack, sitting on her haunches, her forelegs spread out, and her wings folded.

Naturally the party attacked at once... her HP dropped to zero on the first attack that made contact.

"I.... I still believe in you..." Celestia whispered before she fell over.

Experience points, gold, and items were all rewarded.

"That it?" Indigo Zap asked confused. "Just one hit? I didn't think this new swag was that strong."

"That's cool!" Sour Sweet said. Then said, "Anyone else feeling guilty somehow?"

+

Sunny Flare had to admit... this entire thing had been growing EASIER instead of HARDER the further the Stay Discorded plotline went along... royal guards normally near unkillable were suddenly dropping like flies before them, the Captain of the Royal Guard himself had been the only real challenge, and that was after he channeled the spirits of the remaining ponies not yet corrupted by Discord. His last words were that they should try to redeem themselves if they wished to save themselves.

The quest line for having the Discorded Status removed remained open ... until they entered the final chamber, where it cut off (after confirming three times that they wanted to go through with it).

Princess Luna stood on a balcony in front of the raiding party, looking slightly different from the end of the Nightmare Moon questline. She looked down at the ponies.

"Unlike many who have been tainted by Discord, we sense ye have retained a sense of free will, able to act independently of his evil infecting your hearts. Doth this mean all ye have done, ye have used Discord's foul magic as an excuse to do wicked acts of disharmony? In return for whatever trivial rewards he offered you? Power? Status? Bits?"

"This is getting kinda meta," Lemon Zest remarked.

Princess Luna said idly, "Tis it not a beautiful day? Foals are playing, birds are singing, on a day such as such this, ponies such as yw..." Her eyes glowed red. "Should be burning in Tartarus."

She then telekinetically slammed them into the ceiling, floor, and walls followed by several pony skulls that fired wave motion gun level blasts all at once. Leaving half their team in need of reviving on the spot.

Princess Luna remarked, "Have ye not ever wonder why a warrior dosh not use their mightiest magic first? Let's begin."

What followed was Princess Luna using a string of patently unfair attacks, much like her Nightmare Moon pattern, but without the orange warning symbols on the floor to let the players know ahead of time where to dodge.

Princess Luna remained on her balcony, not even bothering to come down. And she was effectively outside the range of the map!

Sunny Flare fired a lightning bolt spell at her...

And Princess Luna DODGED the attack. Not the 'MISS' symbol appearing above her hit after the spell made contact, but literally stepped out of the way!

"Since when does the game have PHYSICAL dodge like that?" Sour Sweet snarled.

"It doesn't." Sugar Coat remarked.

"Did ye expect me to stand there and take it?" Princess Luna remarked.

It was nothing short but an insane scramble to stay alive and keep each other resurrected. Like it went on forever.

"Is this some unwinnable joke?!" Sour Sweet hissed.

"Maybe not." Sugarcoat said and fired a magic missile at Princess Luna who dodged again.

Princess Luna said, "Ye art about to have a bad time."

Sunny Flare used ice shards this time, but Princess Luna still dodged it from her balcony.

"Ye were the ones to free me from my madness... so I allowed my sister to try and reason with ye, to reach the ponies ye once were... but this is who ye always were wasn't it? Ye didn't save me for Equestria, or my sister... ye did it for the wealth and power it would grant ye. And now ye think siding with Discord will grant ye more!"

"Her dialogue isn't repeating." Sugarcoat said. "I think we have to keep dodging her attacks and slowly exhaust her dialogue."

"Better than nothing!" Indigo Zap said flying about trying to dodge blades of moonlight going about in patterns that second guessed her moves.

As the 'fight' went on.... Sunny Flare noticed first. "Princess Luna... she's getting tired." Then got one hit KO'ed by a eclipse spell and had to be resurrected for the 12 or 24th time that fight.

Suger Coat realized the logic of it. "She is the NIGHT Princess, the quest started during the day, and she must still be recovering from being Nightmare Moon in the original quest... we have to out last her."

And slowly... finally... they did.

"... Let me ask ye... one last time my little ponies... have ye done this... because ye chose to? Even when ye could have chosen to resist Discord's magic. Or did ye do it, because ye could? and because ye could, ye must?"

And Princess Luna... began to nod off... Sour Sweet inched by inch with her flight towards Luna... and finally, blasted her at point blank range... and she dodged again!

"HA! Did you think-!" Then... she was blasted from behind... by Discord.

"Well done my little ponies! Well done! I knew you would be of use to me!"

"So we fight Discord?" Sunny Flare asked, remembering how these kind of games normally went.

"I know you must be thinking ... am I mere to eliminate you? Oh well, I suppose-"

Then they attack Discord at once... on their own... without inputting the commands.

Discord look at them shocked... "Wait... how did you..." They hit them again and again without any input! WITHOUT needing to wait for cool down! "No! Please! Stop! I-!"

And Discord became stone again, and shattered.

Then the shadows of the five shadow bolts stretched forward... and formed into replicas of them, only with their characters models twisted to resemble Discord's kind.

"Hello... it is I," said the silent dialogue box. "Zapping Dust." Said the shadow, 'saying' the name for Indigo Zap's character. The rest doing the same. "Thank you... I have been born of you.. power... bits... achievement... these desires... I have been born of them... now we have reached the absolute... we are set to become the new gods of chaos... we shall twist Equestria to our whim... but first... we must destroy this world to make room for our new one... What do you say?"

The dialogue box appeared with the choices: Destroy Equestria/ Refuse.

"Uh..." Indigo Zap said. Then selected 'No' first.

"No?... Interesting... wHeN wErE yOu EveR iN conTROl?" Then the shadows became for one terrifying moment monstrously sized draconequi and one hit KO'ed the raid party at once.

= CONGRATULATION! YOU HAVE COMPLETED THE DISCORDED QUESTLINE! YOU HAVE EARNED THE ACHIEVEMENT 'DESTROY OF EQUESTRIA.' 'SLAYER OF CELESTIA.' and 'NEW GODS OF CHAOS.' Enjoy! This Achievement will always be displayed first in your profile. =

Sour Sweet practically ripped her head set off and looked at her friends who had done the same, not even looking at their monitors. "THAT WAS SERIOUSLY MESSED UP!"

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Session 21.0 MtangaLion
Session 21.1 Kendell2 OOC: In case it isn't obvious, the idea is Blackrose/Rosedust looks utterly terrifying as one would expect Chrysalis' mother, but is more or less a friendly and loving...except to Discord. She was only planned to be a villain (and may get used as one in a stand alone story) because of her grudge on him, but consider this a more forgiving version of her.

Only picture I've ever done of her: fav.me/d5du15h

I admit, I was considering having her mother being the tree she was born from, but I'm not a fan of that origin.
Session 21.2 Kichi
Session 21.3 Alex Warlorn
Session 21.4 Ardashir
Session 21.5 Dragon-of-Twilght
Session 21.6 Alex Warlorn
Session 21.7 Alex Warlorn
Session 21.8 BrutalityInc
(This is a transposition/shameless-rip-off of a comic strip I read on web comics series "The World Is Flat" by animator/cartoonist/storyboard Artist Connor Murphy. It was hilarious, and completely in tune with what PAD(JHF)!Trixie could accidentally do)
Session 21.9 Mtangalion
Session 21.10 BrutalityInc
Session 21.11 Kendell2
Session 21.12 BrutalityInc
Session 21.13 Zaku789
Session 21.14 Kendell2
Session 21.15 BrutalityInc (Makes me wonder, though, who's going to be the GM?)
Session 21.16 BrutalityInc
Session 21.17 Mtangalion
Session 21.18 Alex Warlorn

Cover art by Cazra http://alexwarlorn.deviantart.com/art/Stolen-Pants-323432497

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Session 22

Session 22.0 Kendell2

Fluttershy blinked. "Discord, what are you doing?"

Discord had halved lemons for headphones. "Playing an MMO with some friends of mine."

Fluttershy blinked and looked at the names. Discord's username was 'I'm A Banana'. "Who are 'The Fairest of Them All' and 'Dark Lord of All'?

"Eh, just some 'not quite buddies' I invited on the grounds none of us tell each other our real names. I mean I know THEIR names, but it'll be funner when they realize who they were having fun with."

Tirek didn't care how a 'computer' got in his cell or why the only app on it was an MMO (or for that matter it was meant to have more than one app). He got to kill things and harvest them for profit and no one could tell him he was wrong. The fact it permitted him to perform regicide on the Princesses was a bonus. "Yes! Fall before the might of Tirek! I will pillage and slaughter all of you!"

Chrysalis cackled as they killed Celestia, likewise ignorant of what a computer actually WAS or who gave it to her (or the fact it should have had more than one app). "That was more satisfying than I expected! When do I get to kill Luna?"

As the one reformed villain and two unrepentant sociopaths played through the game, Discord got somewhat bored, but persevered for the punchline of telling Tirek and Chryssy they were playing with him.

Naturally, all three became VERY frustrated when they got to the insanely difficult final boss.

The irony was it was TIREK who did the encouraging when they got too frustrated and felt like quitting. Chrysalis replied 'A warrior's pride? I admire that. I bet you're cute'.

However, then they got to the part where they beat Luna then killed Discord.

"WHAT?!" Discord shouted.

"YES! HAHAHAHAHA!" Tirek laughed in elation. "Serves you right, ponylover!"

Chrysalis smirked. "Serves him right for stealing my kill."

"What idiot coded this junk?! I would NOT die so easily!" Discord shouted. "Or killed Luna for that matter. Turned her a chinchilla, maybe, but past me never killed his toys!"

Fluttershy looked at the screen. "Um, somepony's asking a question?"

Discord blinked, then looked at the question. "Destroy Equestria? Where's the fun in DESTROYING Equestria? Even when I was evil I knew better than to break my toys!"

"Tisk...as much as it'd make me happy to see Equestria burn, I have to have SOMETHING to rule," Chrysalis lamented.

Discord and Chrysalis' eyes widened as the 'Yes' answer was pressed.

Tirek laughed maniacally. "YES! BURN IT ALL! Leave no stone atop another! HAHAHAHA!"

"Right. You are a great partner," said the shadow of their characters. "We'll be together forever, won't we?"

However, the same exact result as saying no happened.

Chrysalis blinked. "Well...that was anti-climactic. Where's the burning and destruction?"

Tirek shrugged. "Eh, that's what I'd have done too."

Discord snarled. "Seriously?! Who wrote this crap?!"

Fluttershy looked at the box. "...You..."

"Huh?"

The spirit of Chaos looked at the box. "Lead Designer...Discord...Dang it! I've been trolled by myself across universes! That's only fun when I do it! Well, you got the last laugh this time, Human Me! But I will have it next time!...But first..."

Discord snapped his fingers.

Tirek blinked. Watching the screen suddenly being covered by an image of a banana opening up to reveal Discord and the words 'It was me all along!' before dancing and mooning him.

Tirek snarled. "DISCORD!" he roared and punched the computer...then cradled his weak, scrawny, and now almost broken hand while the computer was undamaged.

"AH! MY EYES!" Chrysalis screamed, covering her eyes at Discord's mooning image, which she promptly blew up with a magic beam along with the computer.

"Now, to get revenge on myself!" Discord said, laughing maniacally with lightning behind him.

Session 22.1 Grogar-the-oneser

"So you traumatized almost all of our players if all these reviews are correct," Sombra said.

"Children of today need scarring, helps character growth and all that," Discord said with a wave of his hand.

"I still think we made it too tempting with the stay discorded path," Scorpan muttered.

"details," Discorded said.

"Well no damage done, but I did have to tell Chrysalis she must tone down her expansion so we don't lose any customers," Sombra said.

"Oh she won't take that well," Scorpan winced.

"Bah, what the worst she could do?" Discord asked.

-Meanwhile-

"Keep throwing your trash in Discord's workplace, everyone who keeps doing it will get a free month salary!" Chrysalis said through a loudspeaker.

Session 22.2 Alex Warlorn

Discord glared at the computer screen he'd set up in Fluttershy's cottage without her permission. (Like he'd done a lot of things mooching off of Fluttershy when he was first released, in spite of being the god of chaos and Fluttershy finally told him to make his own place... he then made his own pocket universe, or so the story was told, given it was Discord, best take it with a grain of salt).

"Let's see Human Me explain to his boss that everyone gets a free rainbow dyejob coupon that was only available during beta, and all the guardians protecting the unfinished beta areas vanish!" Discord snapped his fingers... the game screen flickered... but no coupon appeared in player's inventory... and the guardians of the beta areas stayed where they were (including the 4.4 trillion HP with that same amount of regen crystal-golem protecting the way to the crystal empire).

Discord narrowed his eyes. "Now now, you can't tell me my magic doesn't work in that universe, no way, no how, dream on, forget it!"

"It seems you've tried to meddle in the fabric of the universe." Said a recording of Discord's own voice!

"Oh wait! This must be human me."

"Discord doesn't like others using the powers of chaos coughhackingcough in Equestria... you need to be punished." In a flash of lightning, 'I'm A Banana' was turned into a bunny rabbit.

"Meh! That's your best?! You're a disgrace to all Discords across the multi-verse!"

"BAD RABBIT! BE PUNISHED! PUNISHMENT! PUNISHMENT!" Cheered Screwball she flew down out of nowhere, having higher stats than the royal guards, with a giant mallet. Screwball squash you into rice cakes!"

"Okay... that's actually impressive." Discord said as 'The Lone Ranger' theme began to play. He frantically tried to save 'I'm A Banana' from being KO'ed by the virtual Screwball, who kept blocking the screen and making faces at him. "That is no way to treat your father!"

Meanwhile, Chrysalis was fuming. "Discord! My revenge will be slow, sublime, and utterly humiliating!" Sadly her diplomatic immunity didn't include murder, but so she'd make due.

Some time later-

Fluttershy cheered. "Oh Discord! Butterflies On Ice! I've always wanted to go! But I could never get tickets! Whoever sent these must be a loving and kind soul."

"Ugh! I feel like puking... my letter must have arrived."

"... Have fun." Discord said glaring at the screen, as Screwball was now mooning HIM whenever he logged in. And was also scribbling on his desktop. This wasn't so fun when it happened to HIM!

"Oh! But the tickets are exclusively for both of us... unless... you... you don't want to go with me."

Discord took one look at Fluttershy's sad face, inwardly groaned, and said with more maturity than he'd used in millions of years. "It'd be... an... honor... to go with you... Fluttershy."

Discord wonder if he and Rainbow Dash should form a support group on those Fluttershy dragged along to things they hated then refused to go to things SHE hated. The words Discord thought next would have wilted an entire mountain's worth of flowers.

-Later-

Ponies stared with saucer eyes at Discord, understandably nervous about sitting next to the god of chaos, reformed or not. They still remembered when Discord had stabbed them all in the back for Tirek, let alone the trauma they'd gone through during his brief reign. Discord for his part looked absolutely miserable as classical 'dance of the sugar plum fairy' song played. He was surrounded by snacks, munching on them and barely tasting them.

Fluttershy was on cloud nine, not noticing the world around her except for the dancing ponies in butterfly costumes ice skating... it was actually very similar to Rainbow Dash's Wonderbolts nirvana.

Discord did not fail to notice one of the main dancers... an albino changeling, did a twirl, and landed on the ice, her butt seemingly directed right at Discord.

Session 22.3 Zaku789 (with some extra by me)

"Please Cadence," Shining asked.

"Shining no, it's one thing to use me as a javelin to stop an ancient tyrant, but this is pushing it," Cadence said. "Plus wouldn't the prize be useless if the couple doesn't drink?"

"But I do!"

"Okay, what's with your brother and Princess Cadence?" Rainbow dash said.

"Oh, I told him about this human world sport. Apparently Sunset got interested in human world sport activities after learning about Extreme Ironing," Twilight said.

Rainbow Dash raised her eyebrow.

"She said it was also partly Pinkie's fault for the sudden fascination."

"Ah!" Rainbow Dash nodded.

"Anywho, the sport he got interested in is one called Wife Carrying, as the name suggests, is a man, or in this case a stallion, must carry his wife through an obstacle course as fast as he can," Twilight said.

"That the stupidest thing I've heard." Rainbow Dash snorted.

"I know, especially since the prize is alcohol," Twilight said.

"..... Beg pardon?"

"The winner of the race gets his wife's weight in beer."

"Does it have to be beer. Can it be any kinda alcohol?"

"I guess, wait why..." Twilight said suspiciously.

"Well I was wondering if the prize could be a good case of cid-"

"You are not double teaming with Shining just to somehow pretend to be somepony's wife just to get free cider." Twilight snapped.

"But Big Mac gets to pretend he's a mare to bond with Apple Bloom," Rainbow whined.

"The answer is no," Twilight said flatly.

"DRINKING FOR DRINKING'S SAKE?! A CONTEST FOR ALCOHOL?! NOT IN MY FAMILY!" Lightning boomed as Twilight Velvet materialized in a powerful teleportation flash. "AND SINCE WHEN DOES ANY SON OF MINE SON DRINK!?"

"MOM!" The siblings yelped.

Flurry Heart giggled from where she was on her grandmother's back.

"When you said you needed me to watch Flurry Heart, I thought it was for something important!!!! YOU'VE GOT AN EAR-FULL TO LISTEN TO YOUNG STALLION!!!"

"... Uh-oh." He squeaked.

"Twilight dear," her mother said nicely. "Don't you have a new friend whose very good at correcting behaviors?"

"Uh, you mean Starlight Glimmer?"

"Bingo. If she can get ponies to hate their own cutie marks, she can remove unwanted desires for excessive intoxicating beverages."

"Double uh-oh." Shining whispered.

Flurry Heart clapped.

Berry Punch heard this commotion outside the castle and looked at her daughter, Ruby Pinch. "Dear, I think it's time for us to meet your father."

Session 22.4 MtangaLion

Spike the Dog grinned at his computer tablet, tail wagging. "Hey, Twilight! Rainbow Dash and Gilda are just about to take the train to Ponyville!"

Twilight glanced up from her homework, adjusting her glasses. "They're coming by train? How long is that going to take?"

"No time at all, actually. You should hurry up and log in."

"What!?" Twilight put a bookmark in her calculus textbook and grabbed her own laptop. "That seems awfully unrealistic... even considering that it's a game written by humans about magical talking ponies."

"Fine by me," mused Spike. "I mean, who wants to spend hours staring at a virtual train car, when there's quests to do?"

"I suppose that's one way of looking at it." Twilight logged in to World of Horsecraft, and her unicorn pony wizard, Faithful Student, materialized in Ponyville. "How do I look, Spike?"

"Like you dressed yourself in a thrift shop... The same as every other pony who just hit the new max level." Spike grinned hopefully. "Although... I *could* look a lot better if you bought a couple of those cosmetic items from the shop, and paid to make my character a colt..."

"Ugh, microtransactions!" Twilight stamped a foot in real life, and a hoof in game. "Absolutely not, Spike. It's the principle of the thing."

"Yeah, well, it's easy to be principled about it when you're a girl..."

"Spike!" The animation of the train arriving drew her attention, and she quickly slipped on her headset mic. "Oh, they're here!"

Two griffons padded off the train, causing quite a stir. Many folks hadn't even seen a griffon in game yet, since they couldn't leave their starting zone of Griffonstone until level 20, and ponies could only enter after doing a max level Friendship Quest.

Gilda saw Twilight and grinned, doing a quick jump and wing flap to hop across the train platform faster. "Hey, check us out!" Her griffon was sandy brown, with darker brown wings, faded pink feathers, and violet eye markings.

Rainbow Dash's griffon was just as striking... snowy-white fur with light blue feathers and a spiky midnight blue crest. She strutted down the platform, grinning. "Are you getting as many whispers as I am?"

Gilda looked smug. "You know it! So, what'd we miss? You dweebs do anything fun while we were busy?"

Purple Pup trotted up alongside Faithful Student, still a violet earth pony mare. Her forehooves were wrapped in bandages... Spike had switched his warrior to the new bare-hoofed fighting specialization. "Well... Discord took over Canterlot Palace, foalnapped the Princesses, tricked the Bearers into a hedge maze, stole the Elements of Harmony, and then brain-zapped lots of ponies and kinda took over most of the major cities of Equestria. Other than that, not much!"

"So," asked Twilight, "are you going to raid with those characters? You should have plenty of time to level. We won't have a permanent tank anyway until Shiny levels his new *colt* paladin." She rolled her eyes. "Still, there should be plenty of time for us to have some fun with the Canterlot Palace raid before the next content update."

Gilda struck a pose, wings spread. "Griffon for me, all the way."

Rainbow Dash was looking sheepish, though. "Actually... I wasn't quite sure how to tell you this... I didn't realize you'd be so into griffons."

Gilda blinked, shaken. "Dash?"

"Yeah... I'm probably gonna make this griffon an alt and go back to my pegasus." Dash sighed. "I miss my rainbow colors... and those sweet wingblades I looted from Nightmare Moon... and I really miss the super speed."

Gilda's face fell. "What, that's it? After all those crazy times, the levels we earned together... you're gonna ditch me and go back to being a lame-o pony, Dash!? You are such a flip-flop!!"

Dash's beak fell open. "Gilda, I..."

"Whatever! Have fun with your pony friends, jerk! I'll be back in Griffonstone, making real griffon friends." Gilda stalked away, trying to keep a straight face, then snickered and burst out laughing. "Nah, I'm just ruffling your feathers, Dash."

"Gah!" Rainbow Dash breathed a huge sigh of relief. "You really had me going!"

Faithful Student looked to Purple Pup, realizing that they'd been on pins and needles too. "For a moment there, I thought..."

Gilda smirked. "Hey, we're all in the Equestrian Alliance together, right?"

"Right!" Dash declared. "No reason at all why I can't have pony friends *and* griffon friends!" She looked at Gilda thoughtfully. "So, you want a powerlevel when I'm back on my pegasus?"

Gilda responded with mock outrage. "I'm surprised at you, Dash! What about all that lore stuff about our pride as warriors of Griffonstone and stuff?"

Dash waggled her eyebrows. "The sooner we're both max level, the sooner we can hang again."

Gilda sighed, smirking. "Only for you, Dash."

Session 22.5 Kendell2

Discord teleported back into Fluttershy's house. "Alright, now that I've spent the last twelve hours watching mindless nonsense to counteract all that cuteness, I'm ready to..." he then blinked, watching Fluttershy sitting at the computer. "Fluttershy? What are you doing?"

"Oh! I'm playing this adorable little game I found," Fluttershy replied, clicking.

"...How did you get my password?"

"You didn't have one..."

"Oh...right...What game is this?"

"It's called 'Drifting Afternoon.' Angel helped me find it to relax. You just help this cute little kitten or puppy jump around on balloons! It's so cute!"

Discord looked as Fluttershy clicked on the next balloon and the tiny puppy jumped to the next balloon. The whole graphics style looked like a watercolor painting. "...Why is it everything you like is so sweet it gives me diabetes?"

"...Sorry..."

The time ran out and Fluttershy gave a relaxed sigh. "That was relaxing..." she said, getting up and returning to caring for her animals.

Discord blinked in confusion. "...Well that was anticlimatic, normally click games get ponies addicted to them in this story...hmm, maybe I should introduce that to Twilight..."

(OOC: This game http://www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/g3/drift.htm)

Session 22.6 Kendell2

-In The Human World-

Discord chuckled. "If you want to worry about our games traumatizing our customers. Remember when your mother ran the company?"

Sombra shuddered. "I'd rather forget."

Chrysalis shuddered. "She was even harder on the players than we are!"

Scorpan looked curious. "Is it true Mrs. Rabia had a torture chamber for employees?"

"No, that's just what we called the employee game room back then," Discord explained. "Because she only allowed games with her 'stamp of approval' on them."

"Which came in two flavors," Chrysalis explained. "Brutally hard to the point of sadism, or so horrifying you would have night terrors for weeks."

"Even the game commercials were terrifying," Discord replied, playing a clip of incredibly creepy video game characters saying 'You Cannot Beat Us' over and over again in the most horrifying way possible.

Scorpan shuddered in horror. "What happened to her?"

"She went to prison for losing her temper and threatening harm to a bunch of concerned parents...then the guards at the prison," Sombra explained, seeming more relieved than anything.

"...We're making her the villain of an expansion, aren't we?" Discord asked.

"...Yes, she'd probably enjoy that."

Session 22.7 Kichi (with major edits)

"What was it again? In the jungle you will stay until something, something, something... Crude, Why was I thinking, it was a good idea to play that game? Oh well... It's not going to be that hard, right?" Ask to herself Diamond Tiara as she trotted around the Sabana.

IN EQUESTRIA

Twilight was with the Crusaders and Discord in front of the Friendship Table with the game of Jumanji open.

"Okay girls. After talking with Discord..." Begin to say Twilight but is interrupted.

"Talking? You begin to press the damn electrical button like a maniac and shocking me before telling me anything and then you only told me to follow you AWWWOUCHGAAHHH!" Interrupted Discord but then he is shocked again by Twilight.

"Like I was saying... After talking with him, I make him come here so that he could take Diamond Tiara out of the game," commented Twilight.

"What? It was only that? Oh, it's very easy, this happen all the time, let me guess, somepony did not read the rules before playing?" Asked Discord.

At that time the Crusaders looked away.

"Okay... Let's see..." Discord put his lion paw in the crystal at the center of the game and the paw get inside like nothing.

"Ummm... Where it is...Oh, I got something." Discord took out his paw holding a rubber duck.

"Well, that's not her," Discord threw away the rubber duck landing in front of Sweetie Belle.

"Oww, what a cute duckie..." Sweetie Belle is going to touch the duck when suddenly teeth appear from the duck and he bit at Sweetie.

"Yeah, not a good idea to touch something from the game, almost everything tries to kill you," Chuckle Discord as he begin to fish again.

"And Diamond Tiara is trapped in there?!" Apple Bloom gasped.

"You worry too much. AGHAGHAGH! Let me work here!"

After a long hour in which Discord had fished out several monkeys, a lion that ended up at Fluttershy hut and that she decided to call Simba, a group of enraged bees and a pony with a shotgun between other things, Twilight and the Crusaders begin to get bored, the gates of the castle open suddenly and Diamond Tiara entered.

She was seething, she was covered in grass and dirt, wearing a green head band, that clashed with her fur, she had cuts and bruises all over her body, and an arrow head stuck in her name sake. She was holding a self-made spear in her mouth (the spear's tip covered in SOMETHING) that she spat out.

"Gah, Diamond? But how? I thought you'd been absorbed by the game!" Ask the surprised Twilight.

"Yeah, well... It seems the inside of the game is connected to the backyard of Discord house, or maybe is the backyard of Discord house," Comment Diamond Tiara smoldering.

"Oh, well... If no one needs me...Wagouchaagh," Say Discord as he is ready to snap the fingers but is shocked again by the remote.

"When where you going to tell us that?" Ask Twilight.

"Tell you what?" Ask Discord.

"That she was in your backyard," Asked Twilight.

"You never asked, you only told me to take her out of the game." Discord smiled but then he was shocked again.

"I was nearly assimilated by a tribe of walking masks, was being chased by a crazy stallion who wanted to mount my head on his wall, and there were these pony-eating plants! The living mud ponies! The fanged butterflies! AGH! I'm going to the spa and not coming out for a week!!!

"All that happened in an hour?!" Twilight exclaimed.

"An hour?!" Diamond Tiara exclaimed right back. "You're joking! I remember having to sleep with one eye open!"

Discord said 'sheepishly. "There might have been a little time distortion."

"My Daddy's sending you my therapy bills Discord!"

"That's what you get for not reading the directions. AGHGHAAHGHGH!"

"And you've been shocked how many times, and never once thought to just turn yourself into rubber?"

Discord's jaw dropped to the floor.

Session 22.8 Kendell2

"I don't like the looks of this..." Rarity muttered, looking at the box, which presented a horde of hideous, grimdark looking monsters emerging from underground to attack Equestria.

"It's not as bad as it sounds. Basically, these demonic beasts made of evil and hatred have been released from underground and are attacking Equestria with the intent to corrupt and steal our souls...but there's a twist," said Twilight, giving a smile. "Don't worry."

"Better expect another bad time..." Rainbow Dash muttered.

To her surprise, however, things went very differently.

The first encounter with a monster (a gigantic demonic frog that bragged about how he'd 'eat their souls'). Rainbow Dash's attack role...took off a fourth of its health in one hit.

"What the buck? I thought it was going to be overpowered!" Rainbow replied.

The monster's counter attack did a fair amount of damage, but not nearly as much as she expected from a game with designs out of Dark Spirits.

When Fluttershy's turn came, her attack nearly one shot it.

...Then it died of a damage over time effect Rainbow was sure none of their attacks had inflicted.

"What the..." Applejack asked.

Twilight smirked. "Simple: the creatures are made of evil and hatred, that means harmony, goodness, and kindness can cause them literal damage, especially when you attack them with those emotions."

"Oh, so that's why Fluttershy nearly one hit killed it," Spike said, causing Fluttershy to blush.

"And the damage over time?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Fluttershy put a most of her skill points into her kindness, so she's literally so nice it hurts them with her mere presence," Twilight explained.

"Yah mean like how in a lot of grimdark stuff, something can be so malicious it hurts yah?" Applejack nodded.

"That's about right."

Rainbow Dash had the mentle image of a monster having a heart attack looking at Fluttershy's character due to Cuteness...oh wait, that actually happened once when they were fillies. "So basically, instead of the grimdark junk walking over Equestria, they picked on the wrong land of peace and love?"

"About right."

"I can get behind that."

The monsters weren't defenseless, and there was a challenge, but it was refreshing to see the dark and gritty thing get beaten by peace and love.

Session 22.9 Alex Warlorn

The changeling embassy... wasn't really an embassy... it was more like a cave stationed near the Crystal Empire since no pony was insane enough to let Chrysalis have any sort of permanent position within an Equestrian city. Actually... it was a series of caves... furbished up to service the Queen and whichever spies were visiting that day, ones that changed anywhere from weekly to hourly, it was impossible to tell.

Still... Chrysalis needed somewhere to crash and relay whenever she visited the Crystal Empire for another role playing session with Shining Armor and Cadence... No pony believed for a second when she claimed to have 'reformed' but they figured at least when she was there, she wasn't scheming elsewhere.

Starlight Glimmer told several ponies where she was going, along with pass words and secondary pass phrases if she was replaced or brainwashed. She also carried a white flag so Queen Chrysalis couldn't say later she 'thought Starlight was attacking.'

Starlight hated to admit it, but the place was rather snazzy for a temporary homestead.

"Hello Queen Chrysalis of the Bad Lands Changeling Swarm, I, Starlight Glimmer, Student of Princess Twilight Sparkle, am here as part of the 'redemption therapy' volunteer program."

Chrysalis hated the thought of the word 'redemption' reminded her too much of those nightmares she'd been having, she'd carefully shielded her dreams against Princess Luna... or so she thought at least... of course heroically fighting against a evil tyrant would have been 'cool' dreams to anypony else.

"Oh yes," Chrysalis smiled, "Tell me how much you love and care about me, share that pony love, I'm sure it'll inspire me to be a better love eating predator."

Starlight looked around, spotting two changeling nymphs wearing little crowns, one obese, the other one looking rather scrawny.

"Didn't you say you had three kids? Where's the third one?" Starlight asked.

"Oh she's... somewhere else right now. Helping mommy with her revenge, I mean long term planning for my swarm." Chrysalis grinned like a shark.

"... Oh well... Queen Chrysalis, I know you must care for your children and your swarm-"

Queen Chrysalis chuckled politely to herself.

"- so I know you can't be devoid of empathy and caring as you so claim... and if Discord, the spirit of all chaos could be redeemed, it stands to reason any could be redeemed. After all, I was redeemed, and I was rather... completely and utterly evil."

Chrysalis stared at Starlight Glimmer mouth a gasp for several seconds, then burst out laughing. She held her sides as she continued to laughing, leaning back in her throne kicking her rear legs in the air. "You... you... you... actually... AHAHAHAHHAH!" Chrysalis rolled off her throne, still laughing herself sick. "HAHAAHAHH! You truly... you honstly do... HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHA HHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHA! And I thought you thick when I heard about Miss Messiah Complex! But THAT! THAT?!" Chrysalis snorted in mirth and continued to laugh to herself. Her minions and spawn all politely giggled. "Seriously! THAT takes a level of naivety I haven't seen in a long long time! Even that idiot who thought I loved him back wasn't this naive!"

"... Naive?" Starlight asked, feeling suddenly very very small.

Chrysalis snorted and her happy cut off like a light switch. She snarled in Starlight's face that she could actually feel the love on her breath. Starlight was nearly pushed into the ground from the changeling queen's muzzle pushing into hers.

"Listen here you little worm! I'm not bound by your meaningless moralities! Spiders don't CARE if a fly has family or if the fly has dreams of its own! It's just dinner! And little girl, I've rubbed shoulder with things from the darkest depths from beyond Equestria's borders that would make you soil yourself! And you have to gall to think that you belong to be counted WITH US?! With us?! We've wiped cities off the map! We've ended civilizations! We've driven species to extinction!

"We didn't make a bunch of miserable losers feel better about themselves by giving them a place to belong by removing those stupid STUPID butt tattoos you treat like they're the best thing ever! You ponies LIVE to be told what to do! Either by a picture on your ass, or somepony wearing a crown! AND YOU THINK! THAT MAKES! YOU! WORTHY TO COUNTED AMONG VILLAINS LIKE US?!"

"... I know there are changelings who are not evil... therefore, something must have happened to you when you were small-"

"-I've always been this way-"

"You said the enchanted tree was a lie."

"Yes. I did say that was a lie. And for the record, yes, I was lying my abdomen off about that. The tree story is bogus."

"So there must have been something that made you lose your ability to feel compassion for others outside of the changelings, it-"

"The only thing 'completely and utterly' is that naivety of yours! ... I think I'm going to explain this to you in a way a pony can understand." Chrysalis cleared her throat.

Chrysalis began to bop her abdomen, buzzing it about in dance as a bee would.

The Queen's spawn looked at each other.

"I don't have a heart that's in distress.
I'm not your friend or the hurt princess.
I'm not a little bird who needs your help to fly.
Nope... I'm the bad guy."

Her horn glowed and a curtain was pulled back to show renditions of famous pony cities and those of other creatures, many Starlight only recognized from early history books. How old WAS SHE?!

"All these former kingdoms that you see,
Each of them, with shaking knees, knelt before me."

She shape shifted into Trixie, and sang in her voice.

"So I'm not your teammate or your partner in crime.
What am I, minions?"

The Changeling guards and her spawn said. "She's the bad guy."

She ripped a wuv cat out of a cage Starlight hadn't noticed before, she was still startled when the queen with Trixie's face reduced the poor feline to an empty husk.

"Oh, it's magic
Watchin' a heart flicker out
and become mine."

Still as Trixie she grapped Starlight and forcibly danced with her.
"Oh, it's thrillin'
To be a villain.
I destroy their homes and then I watch them cry." She said in a sultry voice that made Starlight shiver in disgust.

She laughed in Trixie voice, then shape shifted into SUNBURST!

"'Cause I'm the bad guy!"

"Stop saying those horrible things with their faces! Don't you care?!"

"Of course I care, I care that it makes you hurt! And the tasty love it brings out... oh Starlight, I'm such a nerd, you always took every little thing I taught you and made it cooler, I knew I could never live up to you." Sunburst said sadly.

"Oh Sunburst I never meant, WAIT! You can't!" Starlight began to say before coming to her senses as Chrysalis began to suck love out of her, Starlight coughed and choked severing the connection.

'Sunburst' laughed. "Oh, ain't it fantastic?
I see yer love, I snatch it!" He then blasted one of her spawn for no reason other than to keep her on her toes.

"And let me tell you why."

She finally shifted back to her true form.

"I've always had a weakness
For barrenness and bleakness.
I crush all your hopes and then I watch you cry."

Then she shifted to Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and then a moment Cadence as she sang.

"See, I find this business rather fun!
I don't want your therapy or your adulation!
I'll harvest your entire species and bid ya bye-bye!"

"Why?"

"Come on, GUESS!!"

Starlight said hesitantly. "'Cause you're the bad guy?"

"Or, well, girl." The changeling queen laughed. Then her horns started to glow menacingly.

A minutes later a fiery green comet was sent sailing over Equestria... which crashed into the top window of Friendship Castle's tallest tower... and Starlight Glimmer, the one true Starlight Glimmer, began to rolled down the stairs before crashing to the smooth shiny floors. Smoking. A tag around her neck reading 'free changeling flier miles, consider them a gift.'

"She wasn't interested in the magic of friendship?" Spike asked looking up from his comic.

"Nope," Starlight said before fainting, her face falling flat on the floor.

Session 22.10 Kendell2

Empress Blackrose sighed and turns the 'Days since Chrysalis did something evil' sign to zero.

-

"G6!" the human Pinkie Pie called.

"...Dang, ya sank my battleship," said Applejack replied. "Looks like you win."

"Yay!" Pinkie Pie shouted, pulling out a party cannon and shooting it.

Sunset chuckled...then blinked. "Uh, Pinkie Pie?"

"Yeah?"

"Where DID you get that anyway? I don't remember you having it before the whole mess with the Sirens..." Sunset questioned.

"Oh...that...hehe..."

"Alright, here you go! The blueprints for a party cannon!" said pony Pinkie Pie (though she was currently human), having come through the portal and handing herself several blueprints.

Human Pinkie looked them over and nodded. "Cool! Thank you me!"

"You're welcome me!...Wanna play..."

"3.5? Yeah!"

"That's what I was thinking!"

"We're like twins!"

"From alternate universes!"

"Just figured it out," Pinkie Pie said with an innocent look.

Session 22.11 BrutalityInc

“I told you it’ll be more expedient to just petrify her with Rainbow Power and then throw the statue into outer space.” Shining Armor remarked, with a caustic, belligerent tone. With an aura of telekinesis, he moved a white pawn on the board towards his sister’s black pieces. “She’s beyond saving.”

“That’s what you said about Discord.” Twilight retorted even as she responded to her brother’s play by moving a black knight. “And looked how he turned out in the end. I KNOW we can do it; it’s just a matter of finding the right approach. If Fluttershy could get Discord to turn around, reforming Chrysalis is not impossible. That’s why I have Starlight visit her at her ‘embassy’ and give it a go.”

“And look how well that turned out; Chrysalis gave her a breaking speech and dance-number before throwing her out, while gloating about how much she revels in evil, and how she’ll conquer Equestria no matter how long it takes.” The army unicorn said with a sneer even as he countered his sister’s move with a white bishop. “And in case you forgotten, Discord stabbed us in the back for Lord Tirek.”

“You still haven’t forgiven him for that?” Twilight was mildly surprised, though not that much, while as she moved her black queen, taking out Shining’s remaining bishop, “Fluttershy told me he genuinely regretted it. And in case you forgot as well, he helped us defeat Lord Tirek in the end.”

“Only after he was on the receiving end of his own medicine when Lord Tirek betrayed him and drained him of his chaos magic.” Shining snorted derisively even as he moved a white rook. “Don’t expect me to ever invite him to our Crystal Empire gaming group this life-time. And to be honest, I always thought of it as dodgy.”

“What being dodgy?” Twilight asked, confused.

“The whole Fluttershy redeeming him thing.” Shining clarified, “Your friend is a wonderful, incredible mare, and I say this from personal experience. But at the end of the day, she’s just one mortal pony, while Discord is a patch-work eldritch abomination whose at least several billion years old. With Tirek down, he’s back to being literally the most powerful creature in all of Equestria, and at his level, the world’s greatest pony is no more than the greatest termite.”

“Fluttershy’s more than a mere mortal pony.” Twilight corrected, while moving a black rook.

“Yes, yes, the Element of Kindness. We all know that.” Shining said in a rather dismissive tone, which galled his sister somewhat. “She could touch heart with any living creature on the planet, but Discord is not any normal living creature, he’s the metaphysical embodiment of chaos and disharmony! How could an entity whose morality and perception is as utterly alien to us as ours are to ants would even comprehend kindness? Or pain? Or any of the emotions and thoughts of mortal creatures? How could some creature like that even be able to relate to any creature like Fluttershy, who would like an ant to him and would be dead and dust in a draconequu eye-blink? I can’t reconcile this paradox.”

Click-click-click; the game went on between the two even as they talked. As Shining made a daring attempt to check Twilight’s king, he dropped the bombshell. “I’m starting to think that, rather than Fluttershy's efforts being responsible for reforming Discord, it was in fact the Elements of Harmony as a whole which actually did most of the heavy-lifting, by subtly rewiring whatever Discord have for a neural system while in stone, turning him from a cosmic horror to an overgrown stallion-child with godlike powers. With him being able to finally develop empathy and relate to the suffering he caused, all Fluttershy has to do is giving him enough of a nudge over the edge.”

“What? But the Elements would never do such a thing!” Twilight’s retort betrayed her shock, but the wording showed it was more because of what Shining was implying than any outrage of her big brother thoughtlessly brushing off Fluttershy’s seemingly impossible accomplishment.

“Who says it couldn't? I mean, it does sense if you think about it that way, does it not?” Shining Armor responded defensively, “Besides, like you said before, they are the Elements of Harmony, not the Elements of Niceness. Their purpose is to restore harmony, and if push comes to shove, they’ll do whatever it takes to achieve that, whether it be banishing Nightmare Moon for a thousand years, or turning Discord to stone and mind-whammying him into being more reasonable.” He paused for a moment to ponder his next move against Twilight’s counter-play on the board, “Something tells me that these things would go very far to contain disharmony, and would had done something if we fail to save Equestria.”

“We always found a way to win.” Twilight insisted.

“Really, now? The Crystal Mirror shows that there are an infinite number of parallel worlds out there, with many being the same as ours except where one or two events happen differently.” Like what would had happened if I had moved my pieces another way, thought Shining as the chess game’s momentum turned against him once more, “You told me about those alternate timelines that Starlight unwittingly created during her revenge. Just how many of these alternate Equestrias would be under the iron hoof of Queen Chrysalis, King Sombra, Lord Tirek and the like, if things went even just a little differently? If you and Cadence remained trapped in the crystal caverns beneath Canterlot, we’re screwed. If Queen Chrysalis and her Changelings didn’t went to the balcony to gloat and allowing you to free us, we’re screwed. If Spike haven’t gotten the Crystal Heart out of the Crystal Palace and I didn’t throw my wife far enough to catch it before King Sombra, we’re screwed. If Lord Tirek haven’t spared Discord at your request, we’re screwed. If that drop of water from Fluttershy’s bucket didn’t land on Starlight’s flank, we’re screwed. If she had succeeded in keeping filly Rainbow Dash from pulling that Rainboom in the past… you get my point. There are so many ways for Equestria to go to Tartarus, and all had been avoided at a hair’s breadth.”

“Are you saying that, rather than just simply a good world, ours is simply the best of all possible worlds? Where everything went just right?” Twilight asked.

“I don’t want to imagine what unspeakable horrible fates that millions of ponies would be suffering now in those alternate worlds where these bad guys had ‘won the game’. And since inter-dimensional travel is feasible, as proven by Starswirl, once they figure out how to do it, they’re not going to stop there. And then not even the worlds where happy endings occur would be safe.” Shining leaned forward with a grimace, “If you’re whoever made the Elements of Harmony; if you KNOW full well the death and devastation that would occur should disharmony and those who propagate prevail in even one future out of ten, what would you do? Would you be willing to do what needs to be done to stop it from happening, for the greater good? How far are you willing to go, to make sure those worlds will never occur. No. Matter. WHAT?”

Twilight was silent as she pondered what Shining said. On the game board, there were few pieces left. “What would you want it to do?” Twilight ask, finally, while moving a piece.

“To rig the proverbial 'game', and make it unwinnable to the likes of Queen Chrysalis. I personally wouldn’t mind if the Elements of Harmony unleashed its power and blow Equestria to kingdom come should Queen Chrysalis and her changelings take over the land and harvest the ponies like cattle.” Shining Armor said bluntly. “If the Cutie Map has a contingency for Starlight’s time-travel reality rewrites, it probably has a contingency like this to stop Queen Chrysalis and the other villains from doing that. So be it, if that’s what it takes.”

Twilight shuddered at her brother’s words. She didn’t want to even think about how her brother would come to such dark conclusions. It seemed what Queen Chrysalis had done to him left deeper scars than any-pony had ever realized. It confounded her how they managed to stand each other when she goes to the Crystal Empire gaming sessions.

"Well, if it has, how come it didn't seemed to have done anything in those timelines Starlight created?" Twilight asked.

"Without the Rainboom, maybe nopony else activated the Elements and allowing them to deploy their contingency. Or maybe it's an absolute last resort, and the situation hasn't become that hopeless yet that to warrant it." Shining shrugged, "Don't know, don't matter. What's important is that as long as something like it is in place to stop those villains from achieving their vile ambitions, I'll be more than happy."

Sometimes, the only victory possible is to keep your opponent from winning. That thought came to Twilight suddenly, recalled from some obscure, distant reference. She ignored it.

“In any case,” Twilight said, deciding the end the subject, “It will never come to that. We’ll make sure of that.” She placed a piece down on the board with authority, “Checkmate. You’ve been improving, BBBFF. You actually managed to last two minutes longer than our last game.”

“Guess that impassioned monologue must had been really distracting.” Shining Armor quipped as Twilight tidied up the game, smiling warmly once more, “And don’t worry about what she did to Starlight Glimmer, by the way. My wife and I are working on something to get back at Queen Chrysalis. She’ll get her comeuppance soon enough, if you or others don’t beat us to it!”

Session 22.12 Alex Warlorn

"You better be joking BBBFF." Princess Twilight said simply. "Like it or not, Queen Chrysalis is still the leader of the changeling swarm, excuse me, her changeling swarm, and she still has diplomatic immunity. I don't like her either, and I understand completely what you mean that it would be so much simpler if we dealt with all our potential problems permanently like other species do. But look at Princess Luna, she's one of Equestria's greatest defenders again. Starlight isn't forcing her beliefs on anypony anymore, and is again somepony we can call on and Trixie... well... I've learned that I need to let go ... and bucking remember that the Trixie of one universe, is NOT the Trixie of another universe, and it's wrong to judge one by another. And Gilda? She's now the hoofhold of friendship in Griffenstone. Blueblood? YOU TOLD ME how it turned out he's a lot better at making friends when his classism isn't clouding his thinking. I've lost track of how many ponies wanted Prince Blueblood chained in a dungeon somewhere with water leaking in left to die alone in the dark."

Shining Armor cringed, so had he.

"And don't get started about Diamond Tiara, everypony was convinced she was going to be some monster when she grew up, now she's finally becoming a better filly. As for Flim and Flam... well... Granny Smith says they aren't ALL bad."

"Somepony doesn't have to be all bad to be a baddie."

"My point is, all those ponies, and griffin, that other ponies wanted to write off as beyond saving? They weren't. And if we start playing dirty to knock off potential threats... well, we wouldn't really be Equestria anymore ANYWAY."

"There's nothing 'potential' about Chrysalis' threat! I still say we use that super rainbow mode of yours and zap her brain like you did Discord."

"Oh my dear Shining Armor... if that garish overgrown crystal ornament cared more about harmony than freedom of will... I'd have been zapped when Celly and Lulu first did it."

"AGH!"

"DISCORD DON'T DO THAT!"

"Sorry, but you know me, I HAVE TO MAKE AN ENTRANCE!" Discord laughed as his face had appeared on one of the pieces, then grown to his true size, the actual piece appearing back in place and Discord standing on their chess set.

"Well learn to be more POLITE about it!" Twilight made clear.

"Did you HAVE TO take the zapper off him?" Shining Armor asked.

"Celestia said six months, it was six months, we had no right to keep it on him."

"And thank you for that, I'll have a phobia of power outlets when you ponies finally get around to inventing them. But my point is my little ponies, if that stupid looking tree was interested in just, blech, harmony and nothing else? Sweet little Starlight Glimmer-"

Twilight wondered why Discord never showed Starlight much hostility for Fluttershy being one of her victims, either he was nightmarish building it up, or Discord gave it a pass because it had lead Fluttershy to a situation where she needed to lie and manipulate for the greater good... a lot like what Starlight saw herself as doing.

"-would have been HELPED by that tree long before any of you!"

"WHAT?! That makes no sense!" Twilight declared. "Of course it doesn't make sense, it's you."

"Oh my sweet Twilight, give me SOME credit, I can be rational and have a goal and motive when I want them. Let me spell this out for you. While the Equal Ponies had to accept a much lower standard of living, Our Town was VERY harmonious! TO THE EXTREME!" Discord put on sun glasses and struck a 'kewl dude' pose while wearing a palm tree pattern shirt. "Everypony was happy, every pony getting along, every pony working together, everypony had a place. AND! No fighting, no hatred, you know, those things the windigos and sirens find so TASTY about you!" Discord made the 'tasty tasty' sound effect with his mouth. "They'd have starved to death. It was the definition of Harmony! In case you forgot, I literally ended up puking when I tried to get near the place on my... original day out... "

The death glare Shining Armor gave Discord made Twilight realize, she never found out what Discord had done to Shining Armor or Cadence on that terrible horrible unspeakable day! What HAD Discord done to them? Was Cadence immune due to harmony being part of her magic? Had her big brother been made into a coward? Twilight didn't want to think about it.

"So yes... if Harmony and ONLY Harmony was the only thing cared about by that tree you hadn't had to give your Elements to (OH! I just have to say that's SUCH a nice plan! Now they can't be stolen, but also if you girls get infected by some ancient evil water spring somewhere, they won't be able to give them to another group of friends who match their virtues to get you girls back to normal), then it wouldn't have sent you to ruin Starlight Glimmer's utopia. So yes... as much I am loath to admit, no, seriously, I feel like puking again just ADMITTING IT, and it fills me with rage and spite the likes of which you shall never know, that tree isn't as 'extreme' as I used to be when it came to my job in the universe. So it wouldn't do something like, change a entire population of changelings into whatever pony they happen to be at the time, like some crazy griffins insist all ponies want to do to every other species in existence."

It only disgusted Twilight that anypony could have such a distorted view of pony beliefs.

Discord calmed down and dusted himself off. "Well now that we have that little bit settled... I'd like to just point out one little thing." Discord put on a graduate cap and floated over a chalk board that hadn't been there before, putting on glasses and speaking in a thick Germane accent. He quickly began to write on it with chalk forming a 3-D picture.

"If we accept the existence of multiple universes, then the chances that somepony in one of those universes already created a universe destroying device with self-opening portals in a endless look outside the range of any arbitrary reality polices reaches one-to-one. However, we're all still here. Therefore, the universe themselves must have a natural means to protect themselves against such cancers."

Shining Armor wouldn't admit it in a thousand years, but that logic did make him feel slightly better.

"AND! For my next trick!" Discord put on a tuxedo and a top hat, and pulled a remote control, Twilight recognized them from the human world. "About those worlds that Starlight Glimmer not-so-accidentally created with her limited minded revenge scheme and her fantasy that all she had to do to get back her perfect life was keep you six from getting your cutie marks on that day..."

"What about them? The world is back to normal." Twilight said.

"Oh Twilight Twilight, didn't you listen to what I just said? If that stupid tree that can't take a joke wasn't willing to just have you zap everypony in Equestria to make him fit perfectly into the big puzzle on Celestia's coffee table... do you think it would erase a bunch of world from existence just for the sake of one?"

"Wait wait! You can't possibly mean-"

Discord pointed the remote at the world mirror, it fizzled like an old TV set, and it showed a battle field. A Rainbow Dash with a mechanical wing and a scar on her face, fighting along side Princess Celestia, Pinkie Pie, Maud, and countless other ponies against King Sombra, and his slave army of mind controlled Crystal Ponies.

Rainbow Dash... she fought Sombra one on one, so fast her mechanical wing broke apart... but a flash of Rainbow Light... and... a new Alicorn Princess entered the world, and she blasted Sombra to pieces. The Crystal ponies slaves were free again... and the one who had been fighting Celestia took off her helmet... to reveal Cadence!?

Discord clicked again.

This time it was the rebel camp... as Twilight had fled... Zecora was no match for Chrysalis was brutally beaten back and impaled... and looked to see her ponies, HER PONIES, still looking to her for hope.

Again the flash of Rainbow Light, and the world's first Zebra Alicorn came into existence... and soon after, Queen Chrysalis was no more (Twilight did her best not to look at her brother's expression). And the ponies had a much greater fighting chance with their new Princess while the Queen's heirs fought among themselves for the throne.

Click again.

The bat-pony Rainbow Dash, guard of Nightmare Moon, wondering where she'd seen that purple Alicorn before... then she remembered... the race she never finished... the fight that excited her so much it inspired her to joint the royal guard... Madly searching for her... only to find the Twilight Sparkle of THAT WORLD... the mysterious 'Captain Smarty Pants', the alias she used on her fliers to inspire ponies to resist Nightmare Moon's rule. And the turning point for those who did not believe Nightmare Moon's words that being ruthless and brutal had made ponies 'better.' And rescuing Celestia's apprentice... Moon Dancer.

Click again.

Discord running amok, ruling Equestria in madness and chaos, Celestia and Luna as his personal court jesters. Only for the last pony Twilight ever expect to be the one to mangle Discord's plans, Sunset Shimmer! Was this the Sunset of the world Twilight knew?! But that was impossible! Sunset would have mentioned that! Did all these different timelines mean alternate timeline alternate universes?! This made her head hurt!

Click again.

Tirek... Except... six bearers... being led by... TRIXIE?! Struggling with the Alicorn Amulet... and finally reject cheap and fast power and almost becoming the tyrant to replace Tirek and instead choosing Harmony...

Click again.

Flim and Flam... Apple Bloom working for them? Ponies PROTECTING the Everfree from them? Apple Bloom reaching a peaceful reconciliation with the Princesses and recognizing both Equestria could not survive likes, but nor could ponies be expected to simply abandon the standard of living they'd gained.

Click again.

Finally... the Ashlands... dead and broken... except... she saw a yellow hoof brush away the ashes, revealing a small green sprout rising up at her touch.

Discord turned the screen off.

"DISCORD WHAT WAS ALL THAT?! WAS ALL THAT REAL!?"

"SOMEWHERE it MIGHT be real... maybe I'm just pulling your leg, maybe I just made all that up, maybe every single thing I told you was true. Maybe that was just SOME of the ways it all went right. Unless I keep you guessing, I'm being a proper spirit of chaos now am I? Now excuse me, I have a game of Bunnies and Burrows to play with Angel, Fluttershy, Buttons, Starlight and Trixie... care to join us Shining Armor?"

"Not in this life time!"

"I'll remember that. Bye." Discord teleported away.

+

Back at her castle... Chrysalis awoke in great discomfort from another of her nightmares... of being a completely happy person with friends who was fighting a winning battle against an evil overlord... What terrified Chrysalis more than anything, was that if this kept happening... what if she began to like it? This terrified Chrysalis more than anything... If not outright disgust her. If Luna was behind this, at least Chrysalis could handle dreams of being a pony being fed on by changelings, it was the cycle of life after all... Griffins were freaks to have abandoned their natural diet of pony meat.

+

Somewhere else, between walking and nursing and diaper changing Flurry Heart, Cadence was reading in bed a book titled 'How To Make Your Husband An Immortal Alicorn When You Are And He Isn't'.

1000 years later

Discord knocked on the front door of the Crystal Palace.

Princess Flurry Heart opened the door. "Hey Unc'."

"Hello dear... uh... "

"Daddy wants to know if your daddy will let him play O&O yet!" Said a yellow furred creature that appeared to be a mix between pony and draconequus. She fluttered between Discord and Flurry Heart.

Flurry Heart used the Royal Canterlot Voice. "MOM! Discord wants to play 0&0 68.75! Will dad let him?"

"Agh! Fine! If it'll get him to stop asking!"

"See dear? That wasn't so hard was it?" Queen Cadence said. She'd totally forgiven him 800 years ago.. give or take a century.

Session 22.13 Ardashir (with edits)

Starlight thought, 'Well, at least that went better than the last time I was caught by changelings after Twilight threw out of my own home.'

Starlight writhed inside a Changeling cocoon. "HMMPH!"

The pudgy nymph poked her. "Can me eat crazy pony, mommy?"

Starlight's eyes went wide as she starts to sweat.

Queen Chrysalis said, "No, my rotund little horror, don't eat that. You don't know where she's been."

+

Shining Armor didn't know what was crazier, that Cadence had gotten this idea, or that Chrysalis had agreed to it.

Shiny was now helping Gaffer and his buddies playtest a game together with some Changeling nymphs. With the nymphs being in awe of the big scary pony who'd beaten up Queen Chrysalis.

"You beated-ed Supreme Hive Queen Chrysa - Criss -- Big Rump?" Asked one of the nymphs.

Shining Armor shifted uncomfortably. "Er, yes, but I'd rather not -- wait, what was that you called her?"

"Big Rump! It what daddies and mommies in swarm call her when Queen not around! Also tyrant, in-comp-pay-tent, old ugly, big fat bit --" *His mouth shuts as Shiny hurriedly sticks some honey candy in it. He does the same for the other hungry little 'lings.*

Gaffer grinned. "Gee, sounds like you and Cadance will have some wonderful new nicknames to share with Chrysalis the next time she does O&O with you."

Shining Armor said politely. "Only if her succubus rogue shapeshifts into Cadance's character and starts seducing every stallion in sight again, and she tries LARPing it."

Session 22.14 Kendell2 (Alex Warlorn: These events may or may not have happened, or may or may not will happen, who knows? I don't.)

"MAHAHA!" cackled Chrysalis, entering the room. "I've finally done it!"

Cadence and Shining blinked, looking at her. "What?"

Chrysalis produced a Changeling egg. "This egg contains my fourth heir! The Changeling Doctor has confirmed that she will be totally bereft of genetic defects and is for all intents genetically perfect! I've FINALLY got an heir worthy of my glory!...And if he's wrong, I'm going to eat him. Slowly."

Cadence and Shining looked at each other worriedly for a moment. "...Do we WANT to know how you managed that?"

"Eh, probably not...This may be the one Changeling to ever be born, other than my mother, that is superior to me! You will see! She will be the greatest Changeling Queen in history! How could she be anything but?"

50 Years Later

"Isn't it wonderful?" Flurry Heart asked, sitting at tea while playing a friendly game of O&O with a Changeling that looked like a kinder, more beautiful version of Chrysalis.

"Yes! It's so wonderful my hive are finally fully symbiotic with pony kind instead of parasites! My grandma is so proud!" the Changeling Queen replied in a sweet, cheerful voice.

Chrysalis watched from a distance (now having passed the throne after her daughter Imago defeated her in a royal challenge but then her little sister Aponi defeated HER for the throne to SAVE Chrysalis) and snarled at the old, wheelchair bound Changeling doctor. "You said she was perfect! What happened?!"

The doctor blinked. "You mean the sociopathy WASN'T an imperfection?"

"...We'll arrange a playdate with Flurry Heart," Cadence muttered.

"...Why aren't you cowering in fear?"

"Because your mother is as sweet as you're rotten, maybe it skips a generation," Cadence snarked back.

Session 22.15 MtangaLion

Rainbow Dash flew into Ponyville as fast as the World of Horsecraft game engine would allow, and then some. "Hey, Gilda!" She opened a trade window. "Check these out!"

Gilda completed the trade and read the tooltips, perplexed. "Buffalo Firewater? Oh yeah, I remember those from when I was a pony. Plus eight strength and your character model gets bigger, but it only lasts a few minutes."

"But did you know about... this?" Dash drank three of them one after another, and her pegasus grew even bigger than the griffon beside her.

"Whoa!" said Gilda. "The size buff stacks? That's probably not supposed to happen."

"Don't know, don't care!" Dash and Gilda shared a naughty grin and started guzzling the Firewaters.

Just down the street, Button Mash was on his new colt ranger, playing with a crystal train set (a collectable in-game toy), when an ominous winged shadow made him look up and shriek.

"Heh, heh," gloated Gilda. "Look out below!" The giant griffon started to step down... very slowly. Button Mash had plenty of time to scamper away. "Hey, what gives? I'm moving in slow motion here!"

Dash's equally giant blue pegasus was also trotting like she was wading through molasses. "It's happening to me too!"

"Actually," said a unicorn mage brightly, "you're moving at exactly the same speed as any other player character. It just looks like you're moving slowly because your character model is oversized." She had a light purple coat, and her mane was dark purple with a luminous blue stripe, as if it had been squeezed out of a tube of toothpaste.

"Is that so..." Gilda squinted, reading the name floating above the mage's head. "Equal Rites? Well, how about..." She tried to stomp on the auction house, but her talons clipped through the wall. "Aw man, I can't destroy things either?"

Equal Rites chuckled. "Again, you're a perfectly average griffon warrior with an oversized model. And plus eight strength. I mean, come on, this isn't Star Trek. There's no way you can destroy the buildings in Ponyville if that isn't specifically coded into the game."

Gilda scowled. "Hey, I'm way better than just average!"

Rainbow Dash blinked at Equal Rites. "How come you're not in a guild? You seem pretty smart. Want to join ours?"

The mage hesitated, peering up at them. "I don't know... I've had bad luck with guilds in the past. Is your guild fair, with everybody having a say? No tinpot teenage dictator for a guild master?"

"Nah, Shining's not like that. He's cool."

Gilda leaned towards her friend. "Dash, I'm not sure I want her yapping about equal this and fair that in guild chat all the time..."

"You know," mused Equal Rites, "these Firewaters wear off pretty fast, but you could get even bigger if you used a macro to drink them faster..."

Gilda blinked, then grinned evilly, kneading her talons. "Then again, maybe we could get along."

In Lead Developer Discord's office at CrystalSoft, an alarm started blaring on his computer, startling him out of a nice afternoon nap. "What? Eh?" He squinted at the monitor, yawning. "Fun was detected? Players are having fun in a way that was not intended?"

Discord cracked his knuckles, then spawned an invisible GM character on the realm with the problem. Lo and behold, Ponyville was a madhouse on the Harmony server. A colossal griffon and pegasus were /dancing in the town square, totally blocking the auction house and the mailbox, and ignoring all the angry ponies telling them to knock it off in all-caps. His face lit up. "Oh ho! I know just what to do about this!"

He moved his mouse cursor over towards the big button labelled "BAN" ... past that button, and the one marked "NERF" ... to click on "Record Video." "I wonder what the last lead developer set up that alarm for. Ah well, probably not important."

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 22.0 Kendell2
Session 22.1 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 22.2 Alex Warlorn
Session 22.3 Zaku789 (with some extra by me)
Session 22.4 MtangaLion
Session 22.5 Kendell2 (OOC: This game http://www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/g3/drift.htm)
Session 22.6 Kendell2 (OOC: The Commercial it was based on: youtu.be/Ta0DlcxyY5M)
Session 22.7 Kichi (with major edits)
Session 22.8 Kendell2
Session 22.9 Alex Warlorn (Song modified from Wander Over Yander.)
Session 22.10 Kendell2
Session 22.11 BrutalityInc
Session 22.12 Alex Warlorn
Session 22.13 Ardashir (with edits)
Session 22.14 Kendell2 (Alex Warlorn: These events may or may not have happened, or may or may not will happen, who knows? I don't.)
Session 22.15 MtangaLion
Session 22.16 Kendell2

Cover art by cheezedoodle96 http://cheezedoodle96.deviantart.com/art/Cranky-Doodle-Cleric-464037330

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Session 23

Session 23.0 Kendell2

"So, Captain Equestria: Civil War is better than Batmare V Superstallion?" asked Applejack, currently in another Enchanted Comic, this time dressed in an outfit colored like the Equestrian flag, and using a shield with the same colors, which she promptly used to bash a random evil henchman and send them flying.

Twilight nodded, in a red and gold suit of powered armor she used to blast a minion. "Yeah, they did a great job making you care about both sides of the conflict, an improvement over the comics honestly."

Rainbow Dash muttered, dressed as Zap, and shot a minion with a thunder bolt. "Man, I guess I owe Pinkie Pie five bits..."

Pinkie suddenly popped out of nowhere, despite not being part of this game due to being too busy working at Sugar Cube Corner. "Really?!"

Rainbow Dash's jaw dropped. "Pinkie...how are you here?!"

"I don't know!"

Pinkie took her bits and vanished.

"At least you're not those trolls that scream 'Marevel bias' every time if you like one of their movies better," Twilight replied.

"Fluttershy..." Applejack said.

'Saddle Rager' was mainly ducking around to avoid the minions. "Yes?"

"That bad guy just stepped on a little ant..."

The response was Fluttershy hulking out and going on a rampage.

"Sure we should do that?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Yeah, girl needs tah vent sometimes, she's just too nice tah do it," explained AJ. "This let's her let some of it out on things that aren't real. She thanked meh fer it afterwards a few times."

Rarity, this time dressed as a purple archer, used trick arrows to blast down more minions. "I'm just glad Marevel isn't so fond of dark and drab outfits. Those are so tiring."

"Got that right, why does EVERY superhero get dressed in black in the movies...well, ya know, except the ones who ARE black?" Rainbow asked, summoning a tornado and blowing away some more mooks. Applejack jumped behind her to use her shield to block some arrows before throwing it to knock them out and catching it again.

A sniper took aim at her...and was promptly kicked from behind and sent falling by a black panther armored zebra.

"Thanks for joining in Zecora," Twilight said. they were down one mare because Spike was visiting Celestia on royal business, Pinkie was at work, and and Starlight was visiting Sunburst in the Empire.

"No problem, Twilight my friend," Zecora did a back hoof to a mook sneaking up behind her before extending claws from her front hooves and slashing through the gun of another's gun. "A new hobby is never a bad thing to begin. If a game with me you want to play, I am merely a trot away," she replied, doing a spinning kick to a mook behind her as Fluttershy grabbed a mook and threw him a good distance.

Session 23.1 Richforce

Maternal Care/Maternity Love-Tap didn’t like stumbling through her own house a blindfold. “How soon until I take this thing off?”

“We’re almost there,” said Button Mash as he led her by the hoof. “Watch the corner, ok you can take off the blindfold.”

Care removed the blindfold and saw the latest game button was obsessed with Mine-something or other. Button had spent hours not only fighting monster but mining material to make things in the game.

But Care saw that the game was in “creative mode” and at the moment she saw a giant pixelated statue of herself with a device beneath it flashing the message “I love you”. The detail of it all had to mean a lot of time invested planning, crafting and laying down the hundreds of blocks to make something this size.

“So do you like it?” asked Button.

Maternal Care knelt down and gave her son a big hug. “I love it!”

Button returned the hug. “Happy Mother’s day!”

Session 23.2 Kendell2 (In honor of the holiday...)

The Crystal Empire was currently hosting a rather unique game at Shining Armor's request.

An O&O game where the point was to see which party could reach the end of the dungeon first was the winner. The catch? Each party was a mother and up to two children (for fairness sake). If they didn't have a third member, they could bring in an honorary member but a mother was a requirement.

"Thanks for coming out, mom," Shining Armor said, giving Twilight Velvet a nuzzle.

"You're welcome, sweetie, it's wonderful to get to do something with my babies for Mother's Day," said the mare, smiling.

"This was a great idea, Shining," Twilight said. "It's not every day we get to actually do something like this."

"Yeah! This is so much fun!" Pinkie Pie said, hoping around her mother, Cloudy Quartz.

"I am so excited," said Maud in her normal monotone. Of Pinkie's siblings, Maud was the only one who was actually interested...or rather Limestone was too aggressive to work well as a team and Marble was too timid for a public event. Both were watching with their father though.

"I'm sure it will be, Pinkamena..." said Cloudy Quartz. She was clearly out of her element...but didn't seem upset, she just seemed happy to be with her family. It wasn't their thing, but her daughters wanted to have a day with her, and that was a rarity.

"Mom! Thanks for coming!" said Button Mash, smiling wide.

"You're welcome, sweetie, this looks like it will be fun," Maternity said, Button's older brother 16-Bit (who was normally away, but had managed to come for this) ruffling his little brother's mane.

"We get to spend the day together, isn't it great, Rarity!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed, jumping around her big sister.

"Yes, wonderful," said Rarity, looking a bit hesitant.

"Aww, come on, Rarity," the duo's mother said, hugging Rarity. "Family time's always worth while."

"Yes...mother..." Rarity squeeked before being released. "But...could you have worn a dress or something a bit more formal?"

"Eh, this ain't a formal gathering, Rarity, lighten up a bit."

Rainbow Dash chuckled, earning a glare from Rarity. "What? Your mom's right, lay back." 'And be glad my mom isn't-"

"Rainbow Dash! Darling!"

Rainbow Dash's eyes widened. "Uh oh..."

Rainbow turned to see a blue Earth Pony with a rainbow colored mane and tail, a rainbow for her Cutie Mark...and dressed in a colorful dress Rainbow wouldn't be caught dead in.

"M-Mom? W-What are you doing here?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Mom?" Rarity asked.

"Oh, your 'little sister' sent me a letter asking if I could come play with you two," the pegasus' mother replied, giving a smile.

"Isn't this great, Rainbow Dash! We can compete together!" Scootaloo exclaimed, hoping out.

Rainbow Dash suddenly experienced a feeling of conflict as she looked at the filly's hopeful eyes. "S-Sure, Scoots. Great."

"This mare is your mother, Rainbow Dash?" asked Rarity, unable to resist a chuckle.

"Oh, hello, darling," the older mare said. "Yes, I am. I'm named Rainbow Dash as well, so I suppose Rainbow Dash Senior is the proper name, even if it does make me feel old."

"Well if you'd prefer, we could call Rainbow Dash Baby Rainbow Dash while you're both here," Rarity joked, using the normal pony way to refer to a child with the same name as their mother.

"Rainbow Dash Jr. is fine!" Rainbow said quickly, blushing under her cyan fur.

Rarity gave a small chuckle, but wondered if somehow she and Rainbow Dash had been swapped at birth.

"Won't this be fun, Chyssy?" asked Empress Blackrose/Rosedust, cheerfully looking around.

"...Yes mother..." Chrysalis muttered.

"...If you don't get along with your mother so much, why did you invite her?" Cadence questioned, Flurry Heart on her back.

"Because it was either I bring her or I bring two of my kids," Chrysalis replied, seeming like she was between a rock and a hard place. "And my kids would either eat all the pieces, try to find a way to get me killed (incompetently) the entire time, or barely be responsive. At least with her I can maybe WIN!"

"Oh...then who's your partner?" Cadence asked...before stomping sounded and everyone blinked, looking up to Queen Supia towering over them.

Chrysalis and Supia glared at each other for a moment...before Blackrose gave a smile. "Hello, Supia! It's been a long time darling!"

Cadence looked to Chrysalis. "She's your SISTER?"

"Apparently. Mother had a fling with a Neighponese shogun who made a deal with some Yokai..." Chrysalis muttered as to everypony's surprise but hers Blackrose flew over and transformed into a giant herself in a pillar of rose colored flames to nuzzle Supia, who returned it. "She was my only sibling who was actually willing to work with me rather than try to murder me if we were in five feet of each other...This is going to be a long day..."

Session 23.3 Alex Warlorn

Spike on the DM table said, "A little green pony with antenna and sparkling body stands behind a console. He is wearing thick glasses and a lab coat. He looks at you confused, 'Vey! Vho are vou?! I! Ah zee greatest scientist in the universe! Doctor Buggle-Bottom!"

"Oh, like, sorry dude, like, we didn't totally mean to stumble into your secret lab." Rarity apologized.

"It matters not anyway! Since I was about to destroy the universe."

"WHAT?!" They all exclaimed.

"Is that even in the rules?!" Rarity said breaking character.

"I must! My country was conquered by Brogard The Barbarian! I must save the universe from further suffering!"

"But if the universe is destroyed then I won't be able to harvest any awesome from it!" Gilda gasped.

"And no more shall know of Bright Light's glory!" Trixie lamented.

"And there are so many planets I haven't tasted, I mean, food from planets I haven't tasted!" Pinkie Pie said.

"Wait wait wait wait." Applejack said. "Did ya just say yer COUNTRY?! Not yer planet, not yer galaxy, not the universe, not nearly all yer planet, but yer COUNTRY got conquered? And ya want to destroy the whole dang universe over it? Overreact much?"

"It matter not what vou think! Because once I push thiz button-! Zit tiz gone!!!!" Spike waved about his arms dramatically.

Pinkie Pie meanwhile, finished munching on and swallowed the little prop that had been used for the 'destroy the universe' device. "What? It's good!"

"... You made that prop out of ginger bread on purpose didn't you?" Gilda narrowed her eyes at Spike.

"You can prove nothing," Spike said with a straight face.

Session 23.4 Alex Warlorn

"You want me to Game Master WHAT?!" Twilight Sparkle gasped.

"Irresponsible Captain Trotlor meets WarHorse 40 Carrots!"

"NOT THAT GAME AGAIN!"

"Oh this one is much closer to the original material, rather than it happening in Equestria... "

"Okay... so long as I don't have to suffer through more chaos demons with my name and memories with what actually makes me truly me being deader than dead with only outwards personality traits remaining... uh... Who is Captain Trotlor?"

"What?! HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW? It's a GREAT Manega! It's about a pony who joins the army looking for the easy life-"

"-that makes no sense-"

"-Gets the AI that was testing him to fall in love with him, convinces the guy at the front desk to let him in by saying how he'd mentioning him in his auto-biography in the dedication section once he was a fleet admiral-"

"I'm starting to see how you'd like this, I'd be surprised if Trixie's never heard of it."

"And after some patronage from PayFriend, they made a game where-"

"Let me guess, your name is mentioned on the list of contributors?"

"How'd you know?"

"I'm getting used to it. Fine. I will." It would be interesting to see at least as a train wreck if nothing else.

-

"DIE OGANIC!' Screams the NecroidPony!"

"I lean down to pick up a bit when his death laser would have fired at me dead center."

While the lore from neither setting had really changed, the rule set seemed to be borrowed mostly from Teenagers From Outer Space. As a solo adventure.

Pound and Pumpkin meanwhile, who Pinkie Pie was foal sitting, laughed and clapped at the little show they thought was exclusively for them.

And Twilight had admit, it was amusing seeing horrors from beyond being the ones on the receiving end of Pinkie Pie's nonsense, even if it was in game form.

-

"'You are right organic! I am Beep Boop! I will protect this beautiful world!" Declared the NecroidPony shedding tears of oil, after Pinkie Pie had taken it to a county fair.

-

"'WE MUST DESTROY ALL ENEMIES OF EQUINITY! ALL ASSOCIATE WITH THE ENEMEY ARE THE ENEMY!' scream the squad of space marines, all their laser rifles pointed right at you." Twilight said.

Pound and Pumpkin gasped in fear from their seats.

"Wow. You must be all super strong to carry all that heavy armor around and weapons around, destroying bad guys tirelessly." 'Captain Pinkie' said.

"So you see, the most effective way of destroying your enemies, is to make them your friends." Pinkie Pie explained.

"'WE WILL DESTROY ALL ENEMIES OF EQUINITY! BY MAKING FRIENDS WITH THEM!' Shouts the squad of space marines who had been sent to kill you."

= Dan Dan Kokoro hikareteku =

"'DESTROY THAT PLANET!!!!' Screamis the Inquisitor at the top of his lungs via the view screen."

"I stay perfectly calm, and say with a smile how I'm certain everything will turn out alright for every pony." Pinkie Pie said with a smile. "And I tell the Inquisitor he really needs to learn to relax, and if all he has is a hammer, all he's going to see is nails."

Twilight rolled the dice. And examined the results table. "The Inquisitor shouts that, 'I don't have a hammer! I have an full compliment of Extermintus Missiles! And I don't see nails! I see chaos! I shall destroy you all!' He dramatically raises his arms, causing his elbow to spill a cup of coffee on a control panel... causing the Extermintus Missiles to explode while they're still in the launch bay, completely obliterating the Inquisitor's fleet, and harmlessly causing a pretty light show for the inhabitants of the planet. Also, your new reputation causes a fleet of Dark El-deer ships to turn around and flee when they learn THE Captain Pinkie is on the planet!"

"Ah, too bad, I wanted to make friends with them too. Oops. Sorry Twilight, I need to get Pound and Pumpkin home... see you later."

"Later Pinkie Pie." Twilight waved. After Pinkie Pie left, thought out about it. "That entire adventure made little to no sense, was laughably illogical... but it still made me smile... Maybe after all these years, my friends are still rubbing off on me."

Session 23.5 Kendell2

"Huh?" Rarity asked, looking at the game. The box art was of the two Princesses in the forefront looking determined with the Tree of Harmony behind them, Discord looming over them with maniacal laugh. The title was 'Quest for Harmony:World of Chaos.'

"It's a game set during Discord's first reign and the goal is to assist the Princesses in reaching the Tree of Harmony to defeat Discord the first time," Twilight said, looking happy. "It was crowd sourced and started by somepony with the pen name 'Little Sun' who felt ponies could use a reminder of all the Princesses have done for us, even before all of us were born. It's actually dedication to them. Celestia apparently agreed because she buried the history of that time to punish Discord by denying him a legacy and...well, he's redeemed."

"And your name's on the funder list, isn't it?" Rainbow Dash asked with a grin.

"Oh you know it."

"Ah suppose Ah can see the logic in that," Applejack said. "After all, ain't fair we get all the games, is it? They've saved the world a lot too."

"It's kinda strange, apparently Little Sun did work with the Princesses to make sure she got the details right and make somewhat educational on the history...within reason (it was a dark time), she never met them in person and talked to them through letters or other ponies."

"Girls?" Rarity asked, still staring at the box. "Look at this."

Twilight blinked, the group looking. "Monster designs by DISCORD?!" she exclaimed. "But...why would he..."

Spike looked at the manual. "He actually put a letter explaining it into the instruction manual...'You're probably wondering, dear lovers of chaos, why would the Great and Really Great Supreme Master of chaos help with a game where he's the bad guy and kicking his butt is the goal? Simple: I couldn't have my evil minions being BORING! And now you little ponies will finally learn the amazing untold story of ME!...And Celly and Lulu too. Plus, even I admit past me deserved a good kick in the pants. Can't we all have a laugh at ourselves sometimes?" The letter was accompanied by a picture of Discord laughing at a mini Discord sitting on his old throne. "So enjoy the creativity and brilliance of the amazing Discord!'"

"Good Discord impression," Pinkie commented.

"Thanks!"

"...Sounds like Discord," Applejack snarked.

"So, you girls game?" Twilight asked, getting a nod. She couldn't help wondering who 'Little Sun' was though.

Celestia blinked, taking a package from Derpy and giving her a muffin. She opened it up to find a version of the 'Quest for Harmony: World of Chaos' and a letter.

She opened it up...and teared up to find a Mother's Day card. "...Thank you, my little sun."

Session 23.6 Jarkes

A few days after Starlight visited Chrysalis, Twilight noticed that she was acting a little strange. She spent a lot of time in her room when she wasn't eating or participating in a game session, and she was contributing much less to the games. When she asked Starlight about it, she got a snappy, "None of your business!" and a door slammed in her face.

Desperately, she contacted Sunburst at the place he was staying at in Ponyville and asked him to try to talk to Starlight.

"You're her closest friend," Twilight told him, "so she's a lot more likely to talk to you about whatever is bothering her."

She led Sunburst to Starlight's room and then walked away, feeling that it should be a private matter between the two of them.

Sunburst sighed as he prepared to enter Starlight's room. I hope she's okay... I swear, if that bug did anything bad to her, I'll... He shook his head. It's not like I COULD do anything to her... He opened the door quietly and saw Starlight laying on her bed, staring at nothing.

"Hey, Starlight... are you okay?" he whispered. Starlight turned around and put on a fake smile.

"Oh, Sunburst... yeah, I'm doing fine. I mean, why would I not be okay?" She let out a nervous laugh, then sighed. "Why are you here?" she said sadly.

"I wanted to know if something was bothering you after your visit with Chrysalis..." Sunburst said, walking up to her bed. "Did something happen there?"

There was silence for a moment. Then Starlight jumped down from her bed and asked him a question that he never expected to hear.

"Did you ever... hate me?" Starlight asked softly. "For how I was always much more powerful with magic than you?"

Sunburst was stunned. "How could you ask that? I never hated you... Why would you even think that?"

Starlight sighed. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's because Chrysalis changed into you and started using your voice to claim that you always felt weak and useless compared to me. Maybe it's because that caused me to realize that I had always worried about how you felt about me, and if that's why you never bothered to write while you were at Celestia's school. Maybe it's because all that made me finally admit to myself what I'd been refusing to admit for years..."

Then something Sunburst never expected to happen occurred: Starlight came right up to him and kissed him right on the lips. He was stunned at first, then he began to feel warm inside.

Starlight broke the kiss. "Sunburst, I... I love you. I always have. I want to be with you. Please..."

Sunburst smiled. "I've waited my whole life to hear you say that. I... I love you too." He gave her his own kiss. After what felt like a long time (even though it was only about 10 seconds), they broke the kiss.

Starlight smiled, a genuine smile this time. "So, shall we tell Twilight and the others the big news?"

Sunburst laughed. "They're going to be so surprised." They left the room, closer together than ever before.

Session 23.7 Dragon-of-Twilght with edits

What surprised Starlight and Sunburst was the lack of surprise from the others.

Rainbow Dash Blinked. "Wait, so you weren't dating before?"

"Jealous Trixie?" Gilda asked.

"Why would Trixie be jealous her best friend got a colt friend?"

"Well... looks like I owe Pinkie Pie five bits."

"WHAT?!"

Session 23.8 Kendell2

The group (Gilda and Trixie included) sat at the table, ready for a game.

"Where's Discord?" Applejack asked.

"Yeah, isn't he going to be playing with us tonight?" Pinkie Pie asked, eating a banana and causally throwing the peal aside.

Discord suddenly appeared, balancing a barrel with the word BALANCE on it on his eagle claw. "Sorry I'm fashionably late, I wanted to be unfashionably early, but I had a crazy idea."

"Uh oh..." Spike said.

"What kind of idea?" Twilight questioned, giving a skeptical eye.

"Well, you see this barrel contains creatures called Frazzits, crazy little protoplasmic entities from a bygone era (*cough!*G1*cough!*) that, if released, would swap everyponies personalities around..." Discord explained, putting it down and several strange noises coming from inside. He noticed everypony scoot away. "Oh don't worry, I'm just bringing them in for a visual aid. Even I'm not crazy enough to let them run loose...mainly because even I'm not immune to them, which is why I didn't let them loose on Cloudsdale during my evil days for giggles."

"Then why DID you bring them?" Rainbow asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well I had this marvelously chaotic idea for something we could do to spice things up: in a game, we make up our characters normally...then do a random chance raffle and mix the characters up, so we all have to play EACH OTHERS characters, take a walk in each others shoes..." Discord suddenly was wearing Applejack's boots she'd used to fight the Chimera. "Sound like fun?"

"...Actually...that's a good idea," said Twilight, blinking in surprise.

"I'd...kinda be game for that..." Gilda admitted.

"Good, then we'll throw darts at a calender to randomly select a day to do it and I'll send these little buggers back where I found them before anything can happen," Discord said, smirking and picking up the barrel to throw it back where they came from...only to slip on the banana peel. "CURSE YOU MURPHY'S LAW!" Discord said (in slow motion) as everyone gasped.

He oofed as he hit the ground. "...Or my potential sister governing luck, whichever applies in this universe..."

The Barrel hit the ground and the top burst open, unleashing a rain of raindrop-shaped rainbow colored creatures on everyone.

"Discord, what did you do?!" Fluttershy yelled, suddenly seeming a lot more aggressive. Gilda was suddenly hiding under the table.

"I do declare, these things don't look nearly as bad as you made them out to be," Applejack said, slipping into a practiced Manehatten accent then blinked. "Did I just say that?"

"Yep! You did!" Rainbow Dash said in a cheerful voice with a big smile while Rarity tried to physically grab them.

"Why do I suddenly want to get a rope to hogtie these things?" Rarity asked, suddenly slipping into an accent sounding VERY similar to her mother's.

"Don't worry, I shall fix it!" Twilight said in a hammy tone. She tried to use her magic to stop the Frazzits...only to cause them to multiply. "Uh...I totally meant to do that."

"It appears the protoplasmic entities are having a peculiar effect on us," Trixie said. "...How did I know that?"

"Oh no, the Frazzits got loose!" Discord exclaimed, suddenly looking...guilty. WITHOUT Fluttershy giving him the stare! "Our personalities have been scrambled and its all my fault!...Wait, why do I suddenly FEEL BAD?! I should be enjoying this until Fluttershy calls me out?! Who's personality did I get?!"

Starlight meanwhile had let her mane down and was busy scrambling her note cards while laughing manically. "I feel so alive!"

"...That can't end well...sorry..."

"My word, I do believe I got Spike's personality," Pinkie Pie said, in a slight British accent for some reason.

"That's not me!" Spike retorted with Rainbow Dash style aggression. "Are you making fun of me?! If you are let me at ya!" he said, putting up his dukes...then being pulled back by Rarity grabbing his tail with her mouth.

"Really? It feels like you," Pinkie Pie replied. "Am I thinking of the wrong story?"

"Maybe you're being Spike, but Spike filtered through Pinkie Pie, because you're Pinkie Pie and not anypony else?"

"So I'm a Spike but not OUR Spike?" Pinkie Pie asked, rubbing her chin. "Sounds logical."

Rainbow Dash then stared directly at the computer/tablet/smartphone screen. "Hey, what's that?"

"That's the fourth wall, Rainbow Dash, don't break it, you're not ready for what's on the other side."

"Oh, okay," Rainbow Dash said, somehow seeming MORE ditzy and hyper than Pinkie Pie. "So who's who?" she asked, as Discord desperately snapped his fingers to close every window and door in the palace.

"I've already made a chart," said Trixie, clearing her throat as she displayed a chart in her illusion magic. "It appears I have Twilight's personality, she has mine, Rarity and Applejack have switched places, Starlight and Discord have switched places, Gilda and Fluttershy have switched, and, likely due to there being an uneven number of us, Spike got Rainbow Dash, Rainbow Dash got Pinkie Pie, and Pinkie Pie got...Spike filtered through Pinkie Pie."

"How do we get back? I don't like this!" Gilda said, peaking up over the edge of the table.

"I have to get the Frazzits back into their barrel, and make sure they don't escape! Because then they'll instantly head towards Cloudsdale because they have an inherent instinct to disrupt the balance of nature, and Equestria will get thrown back into chaos and it's all my fault and I actually CARE!" Discord said, seeming frantic with guilt. "Then Starlight can have her guilt complex back and I can stop feeling my sins crawling up my back..." Discord, right before several spider-legged letters spelling 'sins' literally crawled up his back, causing him to shudder. "Stupid empathetic powers."

"And what are the rest of us going to do?!" Fluttershy barked aggressively.

"Oh right...okay, you all play the game while I track down the Frazzits because my powers don't directly work on them," Discord said, looking intimidated for reasons OTHER than the ones Fluttershy normally intimidated him.

"So, we're playing as our own characters but we're all the ones who are different characters?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Kinda like your idea backwards?!"

"...Yes...and I'm sure whatever entity governs fate in this universe is laughing at me..." Discord said, looking actually sad. "Enjoy...I don't deserve to tonight..."

"...So...let's start I guess?" asked Trixie.

(OOC: Inspired by this episode: http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x190ltd_mish-mash-melee-my-little-pony-n-friends-1986_shortfilms

Session 23.9 Alex Warlorn

"Now Fluffy-The-Kitty-Is-Dead, And-You-Are-A-Bad-Person, Because-Fluffy-Is-Dead Because-You-Played-This-Game." Foals who were play testing the game broke out crying. "If You Had-Not-Played This-Game, Fluffy Would-Still Be-Alive. You Are Bad-Ponies."

The very light seemed to fade from the foals' eyes.

"BWAAHAHAH! Yes! yes! It's works perfectly!" Laughed Evil Executive. "Ponies across the country will become so depressed from our games, none will stand in the way of our conquest of Equestria! BWAHAHA!"

The alarms sounded left and right, as a pony dressed like a kabuki stage hand flying kicked through the window, holding a katana in their mouth.

"NINJA PONY!" Declared Evil Executive in alarm and shock.

The ninja dramatically pointed their sword at Evil Executive, who threw off his disguise to reveal his true form as Lord Despair.

"BAH! You will never catch me!" And he promptly ran out of view.

= Blood Plus Opening 1 =

Ninja Pony proceeded to cut down wave after wave of identical looking diamond dogs dressed in business suits and wearing sun glasses. Being sure to rescue every foal on each floor, from the depressing video game before moving onto the next floor following Lord Despair.

But Ninja Pony found each stairway to each floor guarded by Evil Executive's Evil Henchponies!

"I am Sincere Preview!" said the first one striking dramatic poses, "I shall crush your hopes and dreams, and make everything you wish to see seem so terrible, you'll feel too ashamed to ever enjoy it!"

And so began to mindless ram at Ninja Pony, who nimbly dodged out of the way over and over as more minions came in to try and distract me, Sincere Preview not caring if the minions got crushed as he attacked, before one hit the wall too many knocked him out.

The next floor was guarded by, "I am All That's Stupid With! I shall nit pick things you like to death, having no suspension of disbelief, sucking all your happiness in from them! And please pay no attention to my contrary and vague back story because it's not fair when you do what I do to others to me. NOW DIE!!!!!!!!" And All That's Stupid With raised eight gatling guns, four for each forehooves, endless spraying bullets at Ninja Pony, always right behind them, and never right where they were. Ninja Pony hide behind conveniently placed pieces of officer supplies that were able to block the high powered bullets, before finally getting in close and cutting the gatling guns in half. Which somehow caused All That's Stupid To explode, screaming, "ALL HAIL LORD DESPAIR!"

Finally, guarding the entrance to the top floor, was, "I am What Should've Happened! I will take away your happy fuzzy feelings you got! I will ignore the expanded universe, the creator's notes, and make things up that actually make no sense for the setting so I can make the characters or setting look stupid, you never be able to admit you like that movie or think the creators did a good job ever again! BWAHAHAAHH!" And attacked with his razor sharp lashing tongue, badly cutting Ninja Pony, who thankfully had some fruits and vegetables to heal themself with!

They timed perfectly the slashes of What Should've Happened lashing tongue, until at last, Ninja Pony kicked in the jaw.

"My tongue! My Tongue you made me bit my tongue! Ha! I bet you were super board having to time your blade with my tongue! Having to so quickly time yourself with the event!"

Thinking of their choices of how respond, Ninja Pony chose.
"You mean like dance games?"

"Yes. NO! NO! NO! Dance Games are popular!"

Thinking of what to say next, Ninja Pony then said,
"Well, both have you hitting a sequence of buttons according to what the game tells you exactly, rewarding you for getting the timing right, and punishing you for getting it wrong, isn't that what a quick time event is?"

"NOOOOOOO!!!! They can't be the same! They can't! I'm COOL for hating quick time events! People who like quick time events are the OUT crowd! I can't be part of the out crowd! NOOOOO!" And he exploded.

Ninja Pony made it to the top floor, where Lord Despair resurrected his three minions to attack Ninja Pony all at once.

Ninja Pony thought whether to say they'd take all three of them at once no problem, but then selected a different option.

"You're all so powerful, which one of you has destroyed the most happiness in the name of your master?"

"I HAVE!" All three said at once. They then looked at each other and, ATTACKED EACH OTHER!
"I serve Lord Despair best!" "No I do!" "No me!" "ME!" They shouted in a brutal hoof fight, hooves and teeth flying everywhere until their ball of violence rolled out a window to several stories down below.

Lord Despair then jumped into his Despair-O-Tron, revealing it powered by the last captured foal, a colt crying out for his mommy. The giant robot attacked Ninja Pony, first trying to ram the ninja, then using machine guns, then lashing long blades, and finally a death laser that Ninja Pony deflected back at the giant robot. Ninja Pony freed the last foal as the machine was stunned, ripped Lord Despair out of the cockpit, in slow motion chopped him up into a million pieces, but he was a cyborg it turned out so it was okay to show it somehow more than if he'd been a totally flesh and blood pony.

With the last foal under one foreleg, and their sword in the other, Ninja pony slowly and stoically walked away from the exploding building, all the foals they had rescued cheered for them.

Then ninja pony stood on a cliff, watching the business building slowly crumble into the earth, peaceful somber music playing. For Ninja Pony knew the battle against evil was endless, and they would have to fight again one day, but for now, peace reigned again in Equestria and they could go back to their family.

The ninja pony took off their mask to reveal... Maternity Love Tap?!

"Ninja mom!" Button Mash cheered at the controls of the demo, where the video was actually selling rather well.

Twilight Sparkle just stared. "Does everypony have a BuckStarter game they invested in?"

"Well darling," Rarity said holding up another game, "The default mayor in SimPonyville does look rather familiar." A digital Mayor Mare sat smiling behind a desk on the back cover.

Also on sale was the extremely retro style Muffin Muncher, where the goal was to maneuver your pony beneath the ever falling muffins so they didn't go to waste. No second guesses on who the pixel pony looked like.

"Derpy?!"

"Ya! Mommy is a video game hero!" Dinky cheered, getting a free copy.

"Yes. This Game. Is Stupid. Very Stupid. You should feel ashamed for liking it. It is a game you are stupid if you like. Therefore, playing this game is stupid. And you don't want. To be. A stupid person. Do you?" Said a stallion sitting behind a review desk outside the store. He had on a hat and glasses, his motions were exaggerated and very fluid, his eyes blinking oddly. His cutie mark was a stick figure.

Dinky was curious and found a curtain on the other side of the desk that she pulled back. Revealing a gremlin next to a microphone reading a script. Another goblins with a VR head-set on with a remote control gloves, and another goblin with several book around him and reference guides. Dinky saw there was only half a stallion on top, the waist just going into the table, the stallion mimicking the gremlin wearing the VR head-set perfectly.

The gremlins screamed at the top of their lungs seeing they'd been discovered by the little foals, dropped their equipment, and ran away screaming. The lifeless puppet stallion fell over.

Pinkie Pie picked up the glorified sock puppet stallion robot, "Don't worry, I'm sure I can put this to good use, a little make up, rubber nose, and pointy hat, and he'll make a perfect clown, I can already imagine a routine where he hits himself in the head with a wiffle bat and smacking himself in the face with a pie.

Maternity was smiling watching foals buy the game. "Thank you for coming Princess, having a husband whose a game designer works wonders, but having a Princess here is a plus also."

Suddenly... so many more things made sense.

"Well, I was just curious, apart from the video arcade, Ponyville doesn't exactly have a large game market ponies here seem to enjoy... more traditional entertainment."

"Just wait till you see the sequel."

"There going to be a sequel?" Princess Twilight said trying to keep herself from reacting like when Starlight didn't know who the Rainbow Dashes were.

"Oh yes, some big ponies rise to greatness overnight, telling ponies everything they WANT to hear, but they all turn out to be escaped mental patients being used literally like string puppets by invisible demons only you can see, who you have to fight without killing the host whose used as a equine shield, and once the strings are cut they revert back to their harmless insanity and are taken back to the mental ward."

"Uh... that's very... interesting."

"Thank you Princess."

"Bonnie! Buy me that game!" Tootsie said.

"No dear, no." Bon Bon said to her adopted foal.

Bon Bon and Love Tap gave each other a death glare.

+

(Please do not take this flash back or next part seriously)

"Agent Sweetie Drops of SMILE sanctioned by Princess Celestia, stay out of my way!"

"Love Tap of the Sisterhood of Angry Ninja Mothers sanctioned by Princess Celestia, stay out of my way!"

"Agent Time Turner of the Time Police! Stay out of my way!"

"Agent Outer Orbit of the Space Police Police Mares! Stay out of my way!"

"Agent P of the Sacred Order of the Banana! Stay out of my way!"

"Agent 23B of the Secretly Secret Order of Secrets! Stay out of my way!"

"Super Special Important Agent I'm-Too-Cool-To-Have-A-Name Of the Cool Stuff We Aren't Going To Share With Anypony Foundation sanctioned by Celestia stay out of our way!"

"Agent Bell Mountain Of Her Majesty's Dark Guardians, oh never mind!"

"That's it! You're all disbanded!"

+

"Sister, art ye familiar with the term 'paranoia?'"

"I... may have gone a little overboard in contingency organizes in case I ever went Nightmare with no other Alicorns to challenge or stop me."

"How many secret organizations that didn't officially exist did you found while I was gone sister?"

"TOO MANY! I'm still finding them!"

"I'm of the Sacred Stallionhood of the Tree Watching-"

"You're disbanded, go away."

"Yes your majesty."

"Does this have to do with why you made memory erasure spells illegal while I was gone sister?"

"Let's just say, that once you have 'the greater good' as your justification, scruples have a habit of dissolving into nothing."

Session 23.10 Alex Warlorn

The Power Ponies (and Humdrum) stood ready before the dark impose criminal master mind.

"Foolish Power Ponies cower before me! I am smarter than Maniac! I am stronger than the incredible Bulk! I am faster than the fastest pony alive! I am more deadly than Doom and Gloom Samurai! You can not hope to defeat me!" He was huge, gray, and covered in spikes.

"Uh, this issue wasn't titled 'Death of the Power Ponies' by any chance was it?" Zap asked worried.

"For I am the Great and Terrible and Powerful and Mighty Holy Saint Jaguar Emperor or-

"Excuse me." Filli-Second interrupt. "Uh, what does the 'holy' in your title stand for? Are you part of some religion? What do you do? I mean, you just seem to act all evil and blow up stuff. Have you ever performed a blessing or a sermon? Did you ever oversee a funeral like this nice priest I know? Or-" Filli-Second drew in a deep breath. "-Was it added by the write because they thought it sounded cool or have a phobia towards organized religions? And where does SAINT come from? Are you worshipped instead? By who? How? I mean, what are your creeds? Do you have holy-days? I mean even the Pairing Stone had some basic rules we follow as a sign of respect, so what's the answer?"

"I..... I don't.... I don't know... I don't know... I DON'T KNOW! AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!" The Emperor put his spiky hooves to his head, screamed, and jump out a nearby window, where he then exploded.

"Pinkie!!!" Her friends snapped.

"What? It was a legitimate question."

"Seriously darling! After how much we spent renting this comic!"

"Yeah! I was looking forward to a straight up super fight!" Rainbow Dash complained.

"I was just curious, it's not my fault the writer put in symbolism without thinking about it's actual meaning. Like those bank robbers in suits of armor who were calling themselves clerics, I don't think the author even knows what that word means."

"Dang they really are onto me!" Cursed the Enchant Comics writer, tossing out his copy of,
'How To Make Your Villains Impressive Without Really Trying.'

Session 23.11 Alex Warlorn

"And so... the... something factory is blown up thanks to Captain Forest... all the workers who had a job here just... wander away and do something else I guess," Spike said. "Corporate Greed is then randomly eaten by an Alligator."

"Spike are ya sure yer DMing right?" Applejack asked.

"Sorry! These rules are a little funky!"

"At least we were able to save all those beavers and fishies who were having their water polluted by the evil factory." Fluttershy said.

"Anypony have any clue what they were makin' there exactly? Spike?" AJ asked.

"Sorry Applejack, there's literally nothing on what was actually being MADE there... it's like it existed just to pollute stuff."

"So we destroyed the town's only source of employment, we let some pony die... all for the sake of animals species who aren't even endangered... wow, they really TONED DOWN the deer in this thing!" Rainbow Dash observed.

The other nodded.

Session 23.12 Mtangalion

Twilight frowned at all the Frazzits bouncing on top of her game notes and knocking over the Oubliette Master's screen, and disdainfully used her magic to shove the colorful critters off the table. "Now, we should begin by..." She started flipping through her notes, then groaned and threw them in the air. "The Magical and Friendly Princess Twilight is bored by all of these lists and details and minutia! Somepony else should run the game." She blinked. "Did I say that?"

Trixie gasped, magically grabbing for the pieces of paper. "Excuse me!? You put a lot of effort into those!"

Gilda peeked out from under the table again. "Rainbow Dash, I... I just want to say... you're a really good friend to me." She smiled sweetly.

Rainbow grinned from ear to ear and bounced right over, glomping Gilda and giving her crest a noogie. "Aw, Gilders, you know you're my best friend too! Hey, we should sing a song about it!"

Gilda gasped. "Oh, I couldn't! Everyone would hear me..." She tried to hide her face behind a wing. "And you know my singing voice is just awful!"

"Yeah, you tell her, Gilda!" snarled Fluttershy. "All that mushy stuff is not cool! Come on, you gotta fight it! Let's hear some gruffness! Work with me here!"

Starlight cast her unicorn flight spell and glided around the room, laughing and levitating a cloud of books, game tokens, and Frazzits along with her. "This is great! I can't believe I let you sticks-in-the-mud guilt me into not enjoying my magic, and *everything* I can do for my new friends." She pointed a hoof imperiously, and Applejack and Rarity's cutie marks popped right off their flanks, switching places. "Hah, much better!" She swapped Twilight and Trixie's cutie marks as well. "Yes! Now you match too!"

Trixie's mane started twitching and frazzling. "Ugh, Starlight!!"

"Well, that's all just fine and dandy," grumbled Rarity. "Do Ah have to stay and play this game? There's apple trees Ah could be buckin'."

"And dresses that I could be sewing, darlings," said Applejack.

Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash had pulled a karaoke machine out of one of Pinkie's secret stashes, and plugged in two microphones. "It's a thrill... being somebody else!" she and Gilda sang together, making other ponies yelp and cover their ears.

"Oh, no no no!" fretted Discord, still stuffing Frazzits into a half-full barrel. "Why do I always mess everything up!?"

Session 23.13 Kendell2

Trixie growled. "Starlight, us having each others personalities is bad enough, if we have each other's CUTIE MARKS it could start turning us INTO each other!"

"Oh come on, it can't be THAT bad!" Starlight replied.

Twilight gave a very Trixie-like grin. "Well I guess I'll just send a letter to Sunburst and tell him you're back to being 'completely evil' again."

Starlight blinked, then crossed her forelegs like a pouting child. "Fine..." she muttered and returned their Cutie Marks to normal. "Spoiled sport..."

"So, what are we playing?" Rainbow Dash asked cheerfully.

Trixie gave Twilight a glare as she tried to organize the notes again. "...Oh..."

"Oh what?"

"...Teenage Ponies from Outer Space..."

Everypony stared.

"Oh dear..." said Gilda.

Session 23.14 Dragon-of-Twilght

Outside the crystal castle, unheard by anyone within thanks to all the commotion, a pegasus stallion knocked upon the door once more. However, after getting no response for the third time, Coffee Swirl sighed to himself and picked up his bag to leave.

However, the bag suddenly felt heavier than it had been on the flight over and he set it down. "The buck?" The bag shook a bit and a... word crawled out, a spider-legged word that spelled out 'SINS'. Swirl blinked a few times, watching the thing crawl around. "...I'm sure Discord has something to do with this..." The word crawled back toward him, winding through his legs as he watched. "Well... I can't get in, and I don't know how to get in contact with the bastard... and letting you wander around is a bad idea..." He sighed. "And I'm already going to Tartarus, so what's a few more sins."

The word wrapped itself around one of his forelegs, letting out a warbling sound as it clung to him. Swirl shook his head once more, and picked his bag back up. "Well, lets go see what I'm going to feed you, assuming you eat."

Session 23.15 Mooncalf99

A little weary from an intense early-morning study session, Twilight walked into her kitchen in search of a snack.

Only to find Starlight, Trixie and Discord seated around the table, holding cards.

"Oh, hey girls, Discord," Twilight greeted sunnily. "What are you doing?"

"Playing a game," Trixie said, not looking up from the five cards in her telekinetic grasp.

"Sounds fun! Can I play?" Twilight asked. "I need a little break anyway."

"We're in the middle of the current one, sorry," Discord said. "We could deal you in the next game if you like?"

"That's fine too." Twilight grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl and pulled up a seat. "I'll just watch for now. So how do you play?"

Starlight tittered. "Oh, it's very intuitive. Just watch and you'll see."

"Right!" Trixie suddenly declared in her usual bombastic manner. She slapped down a card on the table; the two of Moons. "Two of moon!"

Starlight silently drew a card from the deck and looked her over, then placed the five of Suns on the table in a more reserved manner. "Two of moon."

"Eh?" Twilight asked.

"Hah! Two of moon!" Discord declared, teleporting a card from his lion's paw onto the table. It was the ten of Love. He then drew a replacement from the deck with his eagle claw.

"Hang on, those weren't the right cards!" Twilight protested. She frowned. "Or am I missing something?"

"Please, you're being distracting," Trixie muttered, again absorbed into her cards. "No, I'll have to forfeit this turn." She dropped the guard of sun.

Starlight raised an eyebrow. "In that case... I'll play the two of moon!" She slammed down the seven of love with enough force to make the table jump, and laughed triumphantly.

"Curses!" Discord swore. "That means I get skipped this round!"

"How does that even work?!" Twilight exclaimed, her voice rising. Her right eye was starting to twitch a bit.

"That will put you at a terrible disadvantage, won't it?" Trixie said without a shred of sympathy but with more than enough smugness to compensate. "Well, the Great and Powerful Trixie isn't wasting this opportunity! Two of moon!" She dropped the ace of sun and ace of moon, and leaned back with a toothy wide grin. "Trixie claims the cardinality!"

"I... I..." Twilight suddenly pushed away from the table, her chair falling over. "I don't get it! This makes no sense! You keep saying 'two of moon' but none of you play the two of moon and then you do things and it doesn't make sense and the cards don't make sense and AAAAAH!" With a final prolonged yell, she tore out of the kitchen and into the bowels of the castle. They heard a door slam shut, and yet it didn't fully block out her screaming.

Silence reigned as the three card players stared at the remains of the spectacle.

"Wow, she really flipped," Starlight said. "I mean, quicker than I thought she would."

"And what a flip-out," Trixie agreed. "I didn't think anything could top Rarity's freakout." She smiled in pleasant reminisce. "So, what's next?"

"I think Applejack takes a break from apple selling in the market around now," Starlight said. "If we move quickly... Discord, would you please?"

"But of course, ladies," Discord said. And with a snap of his talons, the three players and their deck of cards disappeared.

Session 23.16 Mooncalf99

Pinkie Pie pushed back her bowler and slapped the ace of friendship against her forehead. "Two of moon!"

"Pretty clever move," Trixie said. She placed one of her cards face-down. "But we're playing with San Palomino rules, so we're going counter-clockwise now. Back at you!"

"Gasp!" Pinkie exclaimed. "Okay, two of moon then." She placed one of her own cards face-down on Trixie's. "Stakes getting too high for you?"

"Uh..." Mr Cake cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, I don't have a clue about this, but shouldn't you be running the till?" He - and the rest of the ponies inside Sugarcube Corner - were watching the game unfold with various expressions of confusion.

"Oh, but she is 'running the till', as they say," Discord said. He snapped his claws again and the seven and five of sun landed on the discard pile. "Two of moon."

"Don't be so quick to give up just yet," Starlight said. "We still have three reshuffles to go through. Oh, and I'm extending the card limit." She picked up the deck with her magic and dealt two extra cards to each player.

"That's going to cost you an advantage in the short run," Pinkie pointed out. "But you're working a longer scheme, aren't you?"

"You're not trying to call a bluff, are you, Pinkie?" Trixie warned. "If you're mistaken, well..."

"Nah, too risky with those penalties," Pinkie replied. "Are you forfeiting this turn, Discord?"

"I don't think so..." he mused, rubbing his chin. He suddenly lit up with an idea and threw the eight, nine and ten of love on the table. "Hah! Two of moon! That was tricky."

"I don't get it..." Mr Cake muttered.

Session 23.17 Mtangalion

"You've activated my trap card!" declared Trixie. She laid a four of love on the table next to the other cards. "Two of moon!"

Discord gave Button Mash a snake-oil salespony grin. "So what do you think of our little game? Care to join in?"

Button Mash rubbed his chin with a forehoof. "No thanks. I know what game you're playing."

"I trump your two of moon with the two of moon!" Starlight slapped a seven of friendship on top of Discord's ace of love. This trick goes to me!"

Gilda frowned. "You're making me feel stupid. That makes me want to peck people on the head."

Starlight blinked. "Wow, Twilight wasn't kidding. Um, that's just a colorful griffon expression, right? OW!"

Queen Chrysalis, Alisa the Diamond Wolf, and Kevin, Ponyville's resident changeling, were sitting around a table outside Sugarcube Corner, intently focused on their cards and incidentally frightening away most of the customers.

Alisa laid three cards on the table, slowly and deliberately. "I play two of moon, two of moon, and also two of moon," she growled.

Chrysalis made a show of stifling a yawn. "Really? I expected better." She played a card of her own. "Two of moon!"

Kevin steepled his forehooves and chuckled dryly. "Oh yes, a most clever move... or IS it?" He placed another card on his stack, seeming indifferent. "I suppose I'll pick... Two of moon."

Alisa slammed a paw on the table. "So, it is coming to this! Two of moon!" She turned one of her cards face up.

"Not so fast!" said Chrysalis smugly. "Two... of... moon!" She turned another card over, revealing an actual two of moon. Alisa howled in dismay.

Kevin just grinned. "Two of moon... exactly as planned!"

Chrysalis hissed! "Why you impudent little..."

Trixie gulped, looking to Discord and Starlight. "What just happened?"

Session 23.18 Kendell2

As the group set down to prepare for the Mother's Day O&O tournament, a roar shook everything.

Everyone turned to see what would otherwise be a terrifying sight (and still was), the massive five headed form of Queen Tiamat touched down, with Ex-Dragon Lord Torch and Master Babylon landing next to her. As massive as the two ancient dragons were, Tiamat was considerably bigger than both of them (and Supia, who was about Torch's size).

The was a tense moment...then Tiamat cleared her throats. "Are we too late for the O&O tournament?"

There was a moment of tense silence.

Empress Blackrose grew to match her daughter's size again. "No, Queen Tiamat, you're just in time," she said, with a friendly smile, Mother Goddess to Mother Goddess. "But I didn't know you liked O&O."

"Babylon got me into it," the Mother of All Dragons replied, seeming to at least respect her Changeling equivalent.

Tiamat's husband Bahamut landed nearby (mainly to keep his wife and children from eating something important to the Empire).

"Hey Spike..." said Ember, landing on the field, Blood Stone Scepter in claw.

Spike waved. "Hey Ember...I didn't know that Babylon was your uncle."

"I'm...not sure if he is or not," Ember replied, rubbing her head. "I know Dad's actually her son, but every dragon calls Queen Tiamat mom. I'm just here to handle things their claws are too big to do...I might technically be dad's boss now, but Tiamat is still my boss."

"...Do you need dice?" Shining Armor asked, taking three of the largest dragons on the planet landing in his kingdom surprisingly well.

"No, we brought our own dice," replied Torch, dropping a pair of rocks larger than Celestia or Luna carved into dice onto the field with a thud. "Don't worry, we had them weighted to be 'regulation'...proportionally...What with you ponies being so tiny and all."

"...I'll mark out a rolling area for you...Uh...oh, and no smashing anything if you lose..."

Torch sighed. "Really?"

"Son, you're in an allied kingdom, show some respect," Bahamut said like a stern father.

"...Yes, father...I thought being a Barbarian meant you got to smash things."

"Only in the game," Babylon replied.

"Oh..."

Session 23.19 Kendell2

Snips and Snails trotted through Ponyville, then blinked, hearing the sound of a blaster firing.

They followed it and found 8-Bit with Button Mash, Pipsqueak, and Shady Daze playing some form of table top board game. However, what attracted their attention was the fact said game apparently involved dinosaurs with mechanical armor, including laser cannons that actually had sound effects.

The two simply stared dumbly for a few moments.

"Oh, hey guys," Button Mash said, waving.

"Oh! Hey Button Mash..." Snails said.

"Uh...what are you playing?" Snips asked.

"I thought table top board games were lame?" 8-Bit asked, remembering how they'd reacted to that stupid dating service ad.

The two jumped and looked to each other. "Uh...yeah..." Snails said.

"Of course...we're just...curious..."

Pip pulled up the game box, showing deer in alien outfits riding technology enhanced dinosaurs against aliens with their own technology enhanced dinosaurs. "It's a cool game that Mr. 8-Bit is letting us try out."

"I managed to get the creators of some old radio dramas and toylines from when I was a colt to let us make some games based on them," 8-Bit explained.

"Whao, so they're really old?" Snips asked.

"I'm not that old!" 8-Bit replied. "...Plot is you get sent back in time along with an evil alien and you both end up using cybernetically enhanced dinosaurs to fight each other."

"So there's aliens, robots, AND dinosaurs?!" Snips asked.

"Technically robotICS but yes," 8-Bit replied, giving a chuckle. "Seriously, how did that never catch on! Throw in cowboys and you have everything little colts love rolled into one!...Though that's why we had this..."

The two colts blinked, watching 8-Bit produce a game with a buffalo with a sheriff's star in a futuristic western setting fighting a zombie outlaw on another planet with a robotic horse sidekick.

"Cowponies and Buffaloes?" Snails asked, blinking.

"Yep, except a lot less messy."

The typical game of Cowponies and Buffaloes required at least thirty pies and generally ended when you either ran out of baked goods to throw at each other or one side decided the other had the best pie and surrendered to friendly compromise. It was a favorite of both Equestrians and Buffalo.

"Which one do you play?" Snips asked.

"Kinda both. You're a buffalo space sheriff using spirit animals to fight a zombie outlaw working for an evil ghost dinosaur in space," Button Mash said, doing some dramatic hoof motions. "...Dad, the buffalo aren't going to sue you, are they?"

"Nah, Chief Thunderhooves was just glad to see one of his people being the main protagonist of an action series for once," 8-Bit replied.

"Do you have anything with pirates, Mr. 8-Bit?" Pip asked.

"I'll find something. They had everything back then, real imaginative time. I remember one dealing with trying to find thirteen magical objects to stop this black water from consuming the world while also fending off an evil pirate captain trying to get them first...In space."

"Was everything in space back then, dad?" Button asked.

"...Not ALL of them."

Snips and Snails looked to each other. "Snails?"

"Yes, Snips?"

"...I think that billboard was wrong, tabletop games are awesome!"

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 23.0 Kendell2
Session 23.1 Richforce
Session 23.2 Kendell2 (In honor of the holiday...)
Session 23.3 Alex Warlorn
Session 23.4 Alex Warlorn
Session 23.5 Kendell2
Session 23.6 Jarkes
Session 23.7 Dragon-of-Twilght
Session 23.8 Kendell2
Session 23.9 Alex Warlorn
Session 23.10 Alex Warlorn
Session 23.11 Alex Warlorn
Session 23.12 Mtangalion
Session 23.13 Kendell2 (OOC: This seemed like the funniest one for this, given how much of THEM they put into their characters in there.)
Session 23.14 Dragon-of-Twilght
Session 23.15 Mooncalf99 (Obviously, this snippet does not take any continuity into account at all. Fit it in where you like.)
Session 23.16 Mooncalf99
Session 23.17 Mtangalion
Session 23.18 Kendell2
Session 23.19 Kendell2

Cover art by Happybunns http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/373416439

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Session 24

Session 24.0 Mooncalf99

Dragon Lord Ember flared her wings at the last possible moment, halting her descent just enough to land dramatically on the soft soil of Ponyville without crashing completely. After all, the line between 'badass' and 'dumbass' could be claw-thin. 
Around her, the little ponies looked at her with… approval, meaning she pulled off her move successfully. Not fear, though. That was actually kind of nice - much as it was a nice ego boost to see others cower before her, it was a big hindrance to actually dealing with them in a sensible manner.

She vaguely recalled a lot of running and panicking and cowering on her first visit, but then again, she had been pretty rambunctious. For reasons. If she ever saw those sirens again… I'm the flaming Dragon Lord, dammit! Not some just-hatched shellhead you can string along like a fool!

Ember noticed that the ponies were starting to edge away and give her funny looks. I didn't say that out loud, did I? No, probably not, but she still probably looked weird, just standing around there for no reason. Putting on her most nonchalant look, she started walking towards the castle. After all, she had a legitimate reason to be here this time.
 A stupid reason, admittedly.

"Dad, you can't tell me what to do! I'm the flaming Dragon Lord! You said you wouldn't question my authority anymore!"

"I'm still your father! And you said you wanted to rule with… wit and intelligence and reason… and all that stuff. Doesn't that mean listening to others?"

"Ugh, fine. But why do I have to learn some old game?"

"It's a vital part of your draconic heritage."

"If it's that important, why didn't you ever tell me about it before?"

"..."

"This is because of your stupid rivalry with the old Dragontown snake, isn't it?"

"...No."

"You're just burning because he kept beating you every time."

"No, it's not. And he didn't."

"Then why are you binging on a big tub of quartz?"

"Shut up."

Still, he had one point right… dad was dad. For all her rebellious teenage spirit, it was difficult to say no straight to his face. Not to mention he outweighed her by a few thousand times.

And all she had to do was to learn a game, which couldn't be too hard. And she'd get to 'hang out' with Spike, which was… curiously satisfying in ways her dragon upbringing couldn't quite explain. Even without factoring in the mating urge (All sirens need to die screaming and on fire), it just felt good to have him within sight. This 'friendship' was curious.
 You would think that reaching the castle would be easy enough, what with it towering over the town and gleaming in the sunlight like the biggest buffet in the world. But no, for some inane reason the ponies had seen fit to build their funny-looking 'houses' (What, not enough caves around here?) everywhere and they kept getting in her way. To say nothing of the ponies themselves, running everywhere. She could take to the air, but she was drawing enough attention as it were.

"...Just goes to show, properly written villains don't really consider themselves 'evil'," a voice said from somewhere behind her. A familiar voice. An irritatingly familiar voice.

She turned around. Sure enough, that pink-haired Dragontown lizard… Meeny? Miny? Mina? Yes, that's the one. Flaming anarchist. ...was strolling along, too engrossed in a conversation with a blue unicorn to notice her.

"Obviously," the unicorn said. "Good and evil have positive and negative connotations respectively, and nopony would support a cause they believe to be objectively wrong. Whatever you believe, you think it's right and just."

"Subjectively, yeah," Mina said. "Nightmare Moon genuinely believed in bringing about the eternal night, the Seven Silver Talons believed that resurrecting their master would bring about a new golden age, you genuinely believed that the princess deserved everything you'd do to her…"

What the blazes are they talking about?

"Oh, absolutely. I still support the idea of taking her down a peg now and then," the unicorn said proudly. "Keeps her grounded, you know. She's prone to losing her head without sensible ponies around."

"And that's where you come in, right?" Mina replied, grinning oddly. "So tell me, why does that friend of yours always bring up how she used to be 'utterly evil' before? Even when no one asks?"

"She… doesn't want to forget her mistakes," the unicorn said, suddenly glum. "She thought she was right, then she realized she wasn't. But a lot of things she believed in still feels as though they could have been right, and she's still trying to come to terms with everything. So she reminds herself that some things are just obviously bad and wrong."

"That's so cool and multi-faceted," Mina said. "Okay, so there's no such thing as an irredeemable villain, but what about the opposite? Could any hero…"

What is this? They're just prattling on and on and don't even notice me! "Hey!" she yelled, exhaling a modest but noticeable burst of flame in their direction.

 That caught their attention. The unicorn jumped a little and dropped into a defensive stance for a moment, while Mina just turned her head sharply and looked at her. Then she frowned. "Well, well. Hello, 'Dragon Lord'," she intoned sarcastically. For some reason, that caused the unicorn to break into giggles. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same," Ember replied icily. Well, icily for someone with an internal temperature high enough to melt steel. "You're a long way from Dragontown."

"I'm visiting friends," Mina said dismissively. "Just, you know, hanging out, having fun, taking it easy. Not that it's any of your business because," she grasped her face in her claws with an exaggerated expression of surprise, "oh yeah, it *is* none of your business!"

Ember bit back her reply as she felt an unpleasant fire burn in her gut. She would admit that she had given a poor impression the first time they met, although that was the fault of the sirens if anything. On the other claw, Mina seemed determined to rub their independence in her face, and that just fired her frill.

Not to mention her casual mention of having friends, as though she - unlike Ember herself - knew everything about friendship, as though she was a pony herself.

Which actually made her feel a little envious…

Hang on, I can't sympathize with this troublemaker! Besides, she's not relevant. I'm here to see Spike and his mahjong teacher, remember? "Well, my business is none of your… business…" That sounded lame. "But I'm here to see Spike. And his mentor."

"Mentor?" the unicorn asked. "You mean Twilight?"

"No, not the princess," Ember corrected. "His mentor in mahjong. I'm here to find tutelage."
 The unicorn made a strange face. "Ehh? I didn't hear anything about this. Anyway, he's in Canterlot right now."

"Canterlot?" Ember asked. She tried to recall the name. Oh, right, that place where their princesses have their caves… uh, castles. "Why?"

"I don't know, Twilight took him along for something," the unicorn replied, looking a bit annoyed at the question. "Maybe she told Starlight, but I could hardly care less. Is it important?"

"I'm here to learn mahjong," Ember clarified. "I was told that Spike was being tutored by a dragon named…" What was it again? Some weird neighponese name… oh, right. "Kokushi Muso. I was hoping they would agree to teach me as well." At least, that's what dad wants.

"Kokushi Muso?" Mina repeated in surprise. She glanced at the unicorn. "I, uh, didn't expect you to know who that is. And… it's a dragon, you say?"

"You didn't know?" Ember said with a smirk. "It was your grandfather who recommended them."

"Grandpa, right," Mina said, not sounding too convinced. "Because, you see--"
 The unicorn suddenly laid her hoof on Mina's shoulder, interrupting her mid-sentence. "That sounds very interesting! Why don't we go to the castle and see if you can get started right away?"

Ember looked around at the crystal walls and felt increasingly antsy. She really, really shouldn't have skipped breakfast this morning. Now she was in a place entirely made of delicious minerals, and it all looked so tempting, but she was certain that eating a castle constituted a declaration of war. Besides, Spike lived here, so he was obviously able to control himself or the place would have been gone a long time ago. Unless the walls magically grew back and she could just dig in and no bad Ember that's stupid don't even think stupid things like that that's what stupid dragons do.
 Besides, Mina was perfectly chill with the place, and she'd be burned before she lost face to her.

They were currently seated around a small square table in one of the very many rooms of the castle, and the blue unicorn was fussing with a lacquered box which Ember recognized as a mahjong set. They had been joined by another unicorn, a purple one who had introduced herself as 'Starlight Glimmer', the personal student of Princess Sparkle. However, the mysterious Kokushi Muso remained absent.

"Are you sure you want me to play as well, Trixie?" Starlight asked, finally assigning a name to the bossy unicorn. "I'm not very good, after all."

"Then you need more practice," Trixie replied. "And we need a fourth player."

"I thought I'd get to meet Kokushi Muso," Ember said. For possibly the fifth time so far.

"So we'll play," Trixie said, opening the box and spreading the polished quartz tiles across the table, shuffling them around. Ember was beginning to realize that the blue unicorn simply didn't listen to anything she didn't care to hear. Nor did she respect authority. Or show even the slightest expected amount of fear in the face of a dragon.

This pony is utterly insane, Ember thought in horror.

"I am the east wind, and Ember will be the west. Mina, Starlight, you are north and south." Trixie stopped shuffling the tiles and began arranging them into a wall. Mina and Starlight joined in from the sides, and Ember quickly took the cue and built her own. "Ember, are you at least familiar with the basics?"

"Of course," Ember said, a bit offended by the implication from this rude pony. After all, her father had explained all the rules to her. It had been very terse, but she had memorized everything perfectly.

"Good, good… hmm…" Trixie looked at her thoughtfully and stopped building the wall.

And suddenly an overwhelming feeling of sheer dread came over Ember, making her draw back. It was as though she stood before a great terrifying dragon poised to destroy her… except it was just this weird pony staring at her. She realized that Starlight was similarly affected… whereas Mina wasn't. Then the feeling subsided and disappeared as soon as it had come.

Trixie nodded. "As expected. You're a dragon, so you have some natural mahjong power, but you're dreadfully untrained."

"Wh… what was that?!" Ember gasped. "Did you use pony magic on me?!"

"Mahjong power, duh," Mina scoffed.

This is too much! Ember stood up. "I've had enough of this! I came here to be taught by a great mahjong master, and you--"

The feeling of dread came over her again, and this time it hit her in the stomach like a sledgehammer. The unicorn towered over her, monstrous and terrifying far beyond what any non-alicorn pony should have been allowed to be. "Sit. Play. Learn."

Ember dutifully fell back into her seat. Her legs seemed to be full of molten lava, or some other fluid substance that couldn't support her properly.

"And now we'll break the wall," Trixie said, back to her ordinary - ordinary for her, at least - self. She spun a pair of small dice in her hoof and rolled them, counting the walls before coming to a stop on Mina's. She rolled again, counted along the tiles, then started doling out tiles to each player.

Ember quickly sorted out her tiles. Nothing too impressive at the moment… a pair of 1-pins, two north winds, a green 'dragon' (she had absolutely no idea what the picture was supposed to be), and a 5/6/7-pin chow. Other than that, junk. Still, she supposed she could do something with it. She'd just have to act quickly.

Trixie and Mina both discarded forgettable tiles. Then Ember drew… a north wind. Good, good. She threw away the green dragon. No reason to save that, right?

A few more tiles passed without notice. Mina discarded a 1-pin, and she took it. "Pon!" She felt good about that. Now she had three complete triplets… or whatever they were called. Just needed another, and a pair. She discarded a 7-man, and…
 Wait. She needed that… other thing. Yaku. Something that made sure her claw was more than a pile of gravel. She had a wind and the 1-pin pon, so that eliminated a few options… if she kept the chow, that eliminated the 'no chows' yaku… Flaming phosphor, this claw really is pure gravel.

Next turn she drew a 6-pin and decided to break her chow. Off the 5-pin went. South wind, pass. 5-man, pass. Mina discarded an 8-pin that she could call for a chow, but that would be stupid, now wouldn't it? 4-pin, pass.

Mina discarded a west wind, which Starlight immediately claimed. Trixie seemed unperturbed by getting skipped like that. 9-pin, pass. Green dragon, pass--

 "Ron!" Trixie declared decisively. She had been quiet for so long, Ember had almost forgotten about her. The sudden shout made her jump.  Great, Ember groused to herself. Well, what does she have? She never called a single tile before.

Trixie gently and carefully pushed over her tiles, one at a time. Red dragon. Green dragon. White dragon. East, west, north and south winds. 1 and 9-pin, 1 and 9-man, 1 and 9-sou. And then she snatched Ember's green dragon from the table and placed it next to her own.

"What the sulphur?" Ember asked. "That's just… none of that matches anything! That's just garbage!"

"Oh, it certainly is not," Trixie said. "Thirteen tiles, all as distant from each other as can be. And a fourteenth to set it in stone. It is the claw known as Thirteen Orphans. Or, as the dragons call it…"

"Yes…?" Ember asked at length. Trixie's silence was unbearable.

"Kokushi Muso," Mina finished.

"Kokushi Muso," Ember echoed. She stared at the blue unicorn before her, and felt herself break out in a cold sweat. She didn't even know she had sweat glands. "Kokushi Muso. Kokushi Muso?"

"Yes, Dragon Lord Ember?" Trixie replied politely.
 At that point, Ember did the only thing that felt appropriate, and passed out.

"Aw, and you didn't even get to tell her that you won with the super-rare thirteen-side wait that's worth double Yakuman," Mina said.

"Hang on a moment," Starlight said, pulling up a reference sheet. "Eight… sixteen… thirty-two… thirty-two thousand from each player? None of us even have that many points."

 "Uh-uh," Mina said. "On a ron, the player who discards get to foot the whole bill. So... ninety-six thousand from Ember. Pity we weren't playing for stakes..."  "I guess that means I win rather decisively, then," Trixie said modestly. "Good game. Who's up for poker?"

Session 24.1 Mtangalion

Princess Twilight beamed. "Hey, big brother! All settled in?"

Shining Armor nodded enthusiastically, following Twilight through the halls of her crystal palace. "Pinkie and Fluttershy are playing with Flurry Heart, and Cadence and Luna went off to do some princess stuff." He yawned and stretched, still working out the kinks from the long train ride. "Sure is nice, just hanging out without some crisis going on."

He noticed that Twilight was leading him to the mirror portal room. "There... isn't anything going on, is there?"

Twilight chuckled. "Well, I'd hardly call it a crisis, but maybe you can weigh in while you're here."

Just as Twilight had described in her letters, the room now housed a large assembly of crystals facing the mirror, exchanging radio signals through the portal and retransmitting the magic of the "Internet" to other human-built "computers" here in Equestria, both in Twilight's castle and far away in Canterlot. The Manehatten Institute of Technology was eager to build computers of their own, but even with a huge stack of imported engineering textbooks, they'd only gotten as far as basic logic gates, so far.

The portal itself rippled, and Sunset Shimmer stepped out. The Alicorn dropped to four hooves and kept walking without missing a beat. "Hey, Twilight." She stopped in her tracks. "Shining Armor?! How did you... Wait, you must be the *other* Shining Armor! This is kind of weird." She coughed, averting her eyes a bit. "It's okay," she murmured to herself. "He's a pony, you're a pony, it's not weird that you're seeing Shining Armor with no clothes on."

Shining blinked, flicking his ears.

"And... oh yeah, we established that ponies have better hearing than humans. Great..."

Shining Armor cleared his throat loudly. "So, Miss Shimmer... You've met the human me?"

"That's right!" said Sunset quickly. "We play different games with him and his tabletop gamer pals, or sometimes with him and Cadence. At least, we used to... they're pretty busy with the baby these days."

Shining chuckled. "Heh, tell me about it."

Sunset grinned. "Okay, the thing is... their baby can pony up. I mean, how does that even happen? The Sirens swear they had nothing to do with it, but..."

Shining twitched. "That was just an expression. Please don't tell me about it."

"Okay..." Sunset coughed. "So, Twilight! You wanted to show me something?"

Twilight smirked. "Uh huh." She trotted up to one of the computers, then used her magic to work the mouse and keyboard, booting up World of Horsecraft.

Shining Armor groaned at the very familiar ponies and music on the title screen. "I was hoping this whole 'Horsecraft' thing was another one of Dash and Gilda's pranks."

Sunset flicked an ear. "Sorry, did you say..."

"All those humans who are just like us ponies, actually wanting to be ponies," continued Shining. "I mean, what's next? Ponies wanting to be humans?"

"Trust me, that ship has sailed," muttered Twilight. She logged into her unicorn wizard, and after a short loading time, Real Princess appeared in her private room at the Ponyville Inn.

"There's something wrong, something deeply unsettling about these avatars," said Twilight, letting an ominous tone creep into her voice. "Something that's been hidden in plain sight the whole time we've been playing. Real Princess might look like a perfectly ordinary unicorn mare now, but if I remove all of her armor..."

Shining Armor flinched. "Whoa! Should I be seeing this?"

Sunset raised an eyebrow. "I get why that bugs me, but you're a pony. You look at naked ponies all the time."

Shining blushed. "A mare who looks like my sister undressing right in front of me is a little different... wait, where's her cutie mark?"

"Aha!" cried Twilight. "See? He noticed it right away!"

Sunset stared. "I've been playing that game for ages, and I never... Are they all like that?" She magically grabbed the mouse and rotated the camera, zooming in and checking both flanks... both definitely blank.

Shining Armor looked away hastily.

"Every pony *and* zebra I've checked," said Twilight. "Only the Celestia and Luna NPCs have cutie marks."

Sunset lifted a hoof and waved it oddly. "I've got it!" Then she looked at her raised hoof, confused.

Twilight grinned. "Are you trying to snap your fingers?"

Now Sunset was the one blushing. "Shut up! Anyway... Our characters wear armor or robes all the time, so we don't see their flanks! That's why it never occurred to me." She backed away from the computer and paced a bit, thinking. "Maybe it's for the best. Humans don't know that ponies are supposed to have cutie marks, and there's no way to give every pony in the game a unique and meaningful cutie mark anyway."

"I don't see why not," mused Shining. "When we make custom O&O characters, we just sketch whatever cutie mark we want. There's even a box for it right on the character sheet."

Sunset laughed disconcertingly. "Trust me, that would totally backfire. Games like this, in the human world? Let's just say, they attract a lot of... younger, less mature players. You'd have ponies trotting around with guns, knives, and skulls on their flanks, or curse words, or even... y'know."

Twilight blinked. "They wouldn't!"

Shining nodded. "They couldn't! The Oubliette Master would throw them out of the game."

Sunset smirked. "There's tens of thousands of anonymous players for every one GM, so you'd never catch them all. Sorry, Sparkles. They totally would."

A little later, Shining Armor excused himself and trotted down the hall, towards the bedroom where he and Cadence usually stayed on these visits. He knocked on the door, then pushed it open and entered without waiting. "Honey? I'm not so sure we should let Twilight put one of those 'Internet' terminals in our palace. I found out today that humans are a bunch of... perverts?"

Cadence and Luna were both in the bedroom, each wearing colorful knit socks on all four legs.

"Ah, noble Armor!" said Luna brightly. "I need a stallion's advice! Which of these colors do you think will be more alluring to Big Macintosh?" She posed, smiling over one shoulder.

Shining's jaw fell open. "Wha... Buh?"

Cadence's face lit up. "Why, Shiny! After all the games we've played being other species, I didn't think mere socks would be nearly kinky enough for you."

"Other species!" exclaimed Luna. "I should have thought of that myself. Many a time in ancient Equestria, I did enthrall new lovers by taking an exotic form. I must discover if Big Macintosh is concealing any such desires!"

"I might have heard a rumor or two about cross-dressing," said Cadence helpfully

Shining Armor's mane started twitching, getting more frazzled. "Internet terminal... sure, why not?"

Session 24.2 Alex Warlorn

-Meanwhile in the human world-

"So you were singing in the shower... pony-uped, and three butterflies appeared on your butt?" Rainbow Dash asked over the phone feeling very awkward.

"I can't let my family see it!" Fluttershy's voice squeaked over the phone.

"... Just pony down and it should vanish."

"Oh! I guess, but, WAIT! How do you know?!"

"... Sometimes late at night I want to be one with the music, that's all I'm saying."

-

"Oh dear company president Sombra... I just had a wonderful idea for the second expansion pack... or maybe a micro-transaction, depends how evil, I mean, creative I'm feeling. You know how players love character customization?" He didn't want to say he'd gotten the idea when this kind pink haired girl had in her Kindness helped him with his groceries after he had fallen and had gotten a (he swore on his great-grandpappy's grave) accidental! look up her skirt and seen her appear-and-disappear butterfly tattoo.

Sombra snorted, "Not now Discord. Does somebody want to explain why our forum has a thirty-eight page thread demanding pictures on pony butts? And why the main rabble rouser writes like she's likes Shakespeare way too much?"

'That must be more popular with teenagers these days than I thought.' Discord surmised.

+

"We shall not give up our crusade!" Princess Luna said sitting at the laptop from the human world connected to the world mirror.

Session 24.3 Kendell2

"Okay, I think even in our current state of mind we can all agree we will never speak of that again and it's non-canon," said Trixie, shuddering, and pretty sure she would be even if she had her own personality instead of Twilight's.

"Agreed..." said everypony.

"Ah do declare, Ah just couldn't get in character..." Applejack said, still with Rarity's personality. "Ah don't think mah character would be caught dead in a dress but Ah just couldn't help it...Rarity, darling, Ah think Ah might understand why yah love them so much."

"Oh, no problem, Applejack...but I don't think I did that bad a job with Disco Diva this time, even if some western flare seemed to be trying to snake its way in," Rarity replied. She'd actually LET HER MANE DOWN and removed her fake eyelashes.

"...I must say, I just bring myself to make Hungry have bad table manners," Pinkie Pie remarked. "It just feels...wrong..."

"And I made Wings even MORE reckless than I normally do!" Rainbow Dash said, oddly cheerfully. Her mane then deflated slightly. "I don't want to imagine the nickname he'd get in the Wonderbolts right now..."

"And that's not even thinking about me going on tangents about Bright Light's various scientific inaccuracies...and I wrote her!" Trixie lamented.

Gilda cowered, not wanting to even TALK about how things went on her turn. Her what happened when Fluttershy tried playing her eldritch abomination transforming character with her current hyper aggression.

Starlight grumbled. "Well I thought it was fun."

"You pressed every button in the control room of the spaceship we ended up on and blew it up with us in it. We only managed to keep the 'no one dies' rule by hiding in Hungry's stomach!" Trixie replied.

"Like I said, fun."

"Forget it, it's non-canon to the rest of the game!" Trixie replied. "...Discord, please tell me you've caught those things."

"I'm trying!" Discord replied, currently knee deep in Frazzits (literally). "I'm sorry!"

"...Okay...How about we just play Maijong?" Trixie suggested, trying to grab the thing she was GOOD at.

"..."

"Trixie, make your move already!" Fluttershy growled.

"Not yet! I'm still thinking!" Trixie replied, OVERthinking her every move while Applejack was actually CALM and paying direct attention to her pieces.

Rainbow Dash...had built a castle out of hers. Until a Frazzit knocked it down.

"Almost got them!" Discord announced...then got tackled by the remaining Frazzits causing MORE of them he'd already caught to escape the barrel. "...Now I don't...I'm sorry..."

Session 24.4 Grogar-the-oneser

"You want us to ban this complaint maker?" Discord said.

"Yes, because it's getting bloody annoying," Sombra growl. "If I hear one more Shakespeare style complaint I'm going to punch someone."

"Seriously it's like they don't seem to grasp that any ne'er-do-well can mess with their marking.... and furthermore why the flank, that's what I find weird." Chrysalis stated.

"Well good-luck she's surprisingly following the rules to a T," Discord stated.

"Too bad the game prevents corpse-camping, that player would probably quit if they have to deal with that annoyance." Scorpan chuckled but stopped as he notice the other three staring at him as if he gave each of them 500 dollars. "Err.... what did I say?"

"Chrysalis, if I make a suggestion..."

"I know what you're going to say and I am all for it," Chrysalis grinned.

"Good, Discord you think you can add that as a feature?"

"I'll just say that as a insectoids, the minions for Chrysalis expansion have the ability to swarm randomly even when you're respawning," Discord said.

"Waitaminute-"

"Excellent, meeting adjourned, nice work Scorpan," Sombra said as the three moved away.

Scorpan just sat there flabbergasted. "Oh dear.... well, hopefully it won't be too bad."

Session 24.5 Mtangalion

Princess Twilight flew up to Rainbow Dash's cloud house, not in the best of moods. "Gilda? Are you in here?" She listened to the front door and heard a loud bonk, followed by Gilda and Dash snickering and laughing their heads off. "Guess that's a yes."

"Hey, Twi!" called Dash. "Come on in!"

She found them sitting in Dash's living room, watching a moving black and white image with sound projected by a familiar violet crystal. "Gilda, I just got another complaint about you pecking somepony. You're lucky I convinced them you weren't serious."

Gilda tilted her head. "Well, of course I wasn't serious. It would take more than just one peck to split a pony's skull, even if I was really trying to... and that got awkward."

Twilight blinked. "Wait, is that the memory crystal I gave you?"

In the projected image, a rather fat griffon was waving a wooden bat, getting ready to swing, until he drew it back too far and smacked the catcher behind him in the beak. "I'm sorry, Crow! It was an accident!"

"Oh, yeah?" squawked the catcher, puffing his feathers all up and grabbing the bat. "Well, this won't be!" Dash and Gilda started laughing again.

Twilight didn't get it. "Did that first griffon just cluck like a chicken? Gilda, I asked you to record something of great cultural significance to griffons!"

Gilda grinned. "And I did! Things are really turning around in Griffonstone, and the Three Dodos is the most popular new comedy group in town. You see, Garry is the skinny one, Burly is the fat one, and Crow is the angry one. They mess everything all up, Crow gets mad, they hit each other, then the guards chase them..."

Dash nodded vigorously. "And it's hilarious!"

Twilight buried her face in her hooves. "I'm trying... I'm really trying to understand other cultures so I can be a good Princess of Friendship... but I'm not sure how I can really know griffons if I don't get the first thing about their humor."

Now the Dodos were having trouble with some kind of gadget that pitched balls... it was going out of control, forcing them to duck and hide. "I'll fix this!" declared Garry, hitting the balls with his bat. The balls that he hit broke a window, knocked the hat right off a guard, flew into another guard's open beak with a silly thunk...

And Twilight giggled, despite herself. "Okay, maybe that was a little... Oh my gosh, did you see that?" She tried not to burst out laughing, and failed. "I feel terrible for enjoying this... can we watch it again from the start?"

Session 24.6 Kendell2

The mane seven plus Trixie, Spike, and Gilda blinked, finding themselves standing in a game room...that seemed to be floating in space with various galaxies visible.

"Where are we?" Rainbow asked, looking around.

"Twilight?"

Twilight turned and saw Sunset...except she was still in HUMAN form.

"Sunset?! Why are you human?!" Twilight asked.

"Why are you a pony?!"

"Hey no fair!" Sonata pouted, standing nearby with her sisters, all three human.

"Yeah, why do you get to be back in your real bodies?" Aria asked.

"Oh, that's my doing..."

The group turned to see Discord standing nearby. "You see I came up with a fun idea..."

"And so did I!" said another Discord, standing nearby, with a group consisting of a Twilight holding a Smartypants doll, a Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Gilda wearing nightguard armor, a Rarity wearing dark blues, a Fluttershy, an Manehattenite styled Applejack, a Trixie, a unicorn Sunset who still looked aggressive and manipulative, and a Starlight Glimmer who of the group surprisingly looked the most similar to them. The sirens ALSO stood nearby, but still had their necklaces.

"And me!" said a THIRD Discord wearing a superhero outfit, standing next a Twilight who looked like a mad scientist with ADHD, an outlaw styled Applejack, a Rainbow Dash who looked more like Derpy if she was a beaten dog, an apathetic Fluttershy, a Rarity wearing a gaudy mixmatched outfit, an angry looking Pinkamena, an ALICORN Trixie, a Gilda wearing red royal guard captain armor, a generous looking Sunset Shimmer, and a confident, very fit Starlight Glimmer. Behind them stood three human Sirens who looked almost saintly in their expressions, wore white, and had BLUE necklaces.

"Hello, Discord!" said the prime Discord.

"Nice to meet you, Discord!" said Nightmare!Discord.

"Wonderful to meet you both, Discord," said Captain Goodguy. "Might I say you are both handsome devils."

"You too! Love the mask!" said Nightmare!Discord.

Princess Trixie blinked, finding her other two selves staring at her. "What?"

Both of them gently poked one of her wings. "They're real..." said Prime Trixie.

"You're me...as an Alicorn..." said Nightmare!Trixie, both staring at her like she was made of gold.

"Is this heaven?" they both asked at the same time, causing Princess Trixie to blush sheepishly.

"What's going on?!" all three Twilight's asked at once.

"Well you see, we realized we three were reformed and/or heroic Discords!" said Captain Goodguy.

Rainbow Crash gasped. "Captain Goodguy is Sir Discord?!"

"...Eh, I'll deal with that later..." said Goodguy. "So we decided to meet in THE INTERDIMENSIONAL GAMEROOM and have a multidimensional gaming tournament!"

"Interdimensional gameroom?" Mirror Twilight asked.

"Yes, this gameroom exists between universes!" said Nightmare Moon!Discord. "So that silly 'colliding universes' thing won't be a plot point here."

The Nightmare!Adagio gave a sinister smirk. "But there's still Equestrian magic here..."

She and her Sirens sang a note to start their spell...only for a voice to answer back and cancel it.

Nightmare Moon!Adagio glared at Mirror Adagio and the sets of Sirens sang at each other, their two songs canceling each other out.

Nightmare Moon!Adagio snarled, her and her sisters using what magic they could manage in this place that actually HAD it to summon their familiars...only for their mirror counterparts to make hand gestures resembling a magical girl casting an attack to summon THEIRS, which seemed much more noble and beautiful despite being physically no different.

The Prime, powerless Adagio huffed and crossed her arms. "Rub it in, why don't you..."

Blue and red sound waves collided and canceled each other out, causing both sets to recall their familiars.

"What's your deal?!" Nightmare!Adagio yelled.

"I could ask you the same thing," said Mirror!Adagio, looking at her with righteous anger. "We are the Muse Sisters, we STOP strife and fighting between ponies, not start it!"

"...How do you eat?!"

"Simple, we eat enough to calm their spirits and relax them, then move on," said Mirror Aria, CALMLY. "There's more than enough strife in the world for us to eat without having to make more, and that was we end bitterness and hate before it can stop. You should've seen the magic we worked between the natives and the colonists in the human world we ended up in."

"We can do that?!" both Nightmare!Aria and Prime!Aria.

"Yeah, you didn't know that? It's quite simple. Like eating just enough to be full, but not enough to fill bloated," said Mirror!Sonata, sounding genuinely intelligent.

Both Arias glared at their respective Adagio's.

"Cool, so we've got evil Sirens, good Sirens, and...not quite good but slowly mellowing out a little sirens!" said the two Pinkie Pies.

Pinkamena snarled. "You're both like my big sister, aren't you?"

Nightmare!Rainbow Dash trotted up to Twilight Prime...and bowed. "Thank you."

Twilight blinked. "What?"

"...You coming to our world inspired me to try and find answers...we couldn't have won if you hadn't came there, we'd never have beaten Nightmare Moon...thank you."

The lavender Alicorn blinked...then smiled slowly. "You're welcome."

Starlight trotted over to her Nightmare verse self. "...So...you realized everything was wrong too?" she asked, recognizing the look on her face.

"Yes...my future self showed up and taught me..." Nightmare!Starlight replied. "That and an 'enslaves everypony equally' tyrant shows you how badly such thinking can go wrong."

Mirror Starlight looked at the other two. Seeing her side by side them made it clear she was much more muscular, almost Amarezonian compared to them, like she was somepony striving for peak pony condition and getting pretty close. "...You two believe in equality?"

"Yeah...just I think we're still trying to figure out WHAT our new version is," said Nightmare!Starlight.

"...May I make a suggestion?"

"So, you all game?" all three Discords asked. "Universe that wins gets the title of Multiversal Gaming Champion!"

Twilight looked to Rainbow Dash and Princess Trixie. "...I'm game, you guys?"

"After what we've been through? A little gaming sounds like fun," Nightmare!Rainbow Dash replied.

"...Sounds like fun," said Princess Trixie, timidly.

Session 24.7 Kendell2

After the Hearth's Warming party, Starlight looked to Twilight as they set up a 'save Hearth's Warming' board game. "Twilight, mind if I ask you something?"

"Yes, Starlight?" Twilight asked.

"Was that story actually real?" she asked. "I mean I get the idea of it, but was it real?"

"What story?" Trixie questioned, naturally being present.

"A Hearth's Warming Tale," Starlight replied.

Trixie sighed. "Yes, it's true...at least the ghosts are anyway."

"Huh? How do you know?" Starlight asked.

"Because the ghosts used to visit Trixie...repeatedly..." the showmare said, relatively calmly.

"What?!" both mares asked.

"Yes, Hearth's Warming Past, Present, and Yet-To-Come. It was a yearly thing until I turned good...Trixie had a lot of issues..." Trixie admitted. "...Trixie admits, she thinks she'll miss them."

"What are we talking about?" Spoiled Rich asked.

"Hearth's Warming Tail," Trixie replied. "Starlight asked if it was true."

"Oh, of course it is, the ghosts visited me last year when I tried to ban Diamond from going to a party with her friends for some petty thing..." Spoiled Rich replied. "Who'd you get to herald them?"

"Pony Trixie used to know," said Trixie. "You?"

"My mother..." Spoiled replied. "Wonder what the ghosts are doing tonight..."

"...This is going to be a long night, isn't it?" Tirek asked, staring at his old mentor Sendak the Elder floating in front of him, in lots of chains tethered to the cages he used to bind the things he sought to steal the magic of.

"Probably...hey, I'm not any happier about this than you are! If it were up to me I'd just sit back and LET you spend all eternity with chains forged from your own greed weighing down your soul, you ungrateful brat!" the old Centaur replied. "Oh, and don't try stealing the Ghosts' magic either."

"Why?"

"Because I tried it already and all I got was frost bite on my tongue!"

Tirek blinked, raising an eyebrow. "But you're dead!"

"I know!"

"The windigos are real too," said Trixie. "Last Hearth's Warming Trixie met one...he was actually sapient and trying to ruin Hearth's Warming. Want to hear the story?"

"No, Trixie, you wouldn't shut up about how you saved Hearth's Warming until summer," Twilight replied. "...On second thought, why don't you be Game Master and make that the story?"

"Trixie is fine with that."

Session 24.8 Mtangalion

While ponies and sirens chattered away in the interdimensional gaming room, Prime Gilda rolled her eyes and wandered out of the crowd. "Multiversal Gaming Champions? Eh, squawk that. I had a cake in the oven." She started tapping a claw on the invisible walls, hoping to find a way out.

Of course, some ponies, or griffons as it turned out, weren't going to leave her be. "Hey," said Gilda the Night Guard, holding up her talons in a lazy wave. "Heh, just when I thought I was through bouncing around the universe. So... what unit are you with?"

The third Gilda approached, also looking at Prime Gilda curiously. "How strange, seeing myself not in uniform." She was dressed like an overstuffed peacock in that guard captain armor, and she talked like an overstuffed peacock too. She snapped her talons. "It's an undercover unit, isn't it? Say no more, soldier."

Prime Gilda blinked. "Me, a soldier?" She burst out laughing. "Get outta here. I just want to be a chef! You dweebs are the strange ones!"

The crest on Captain Gilda's armor morphed into Captain Goodguy's face. "No, I'm afraid you're the odd griffon out, which really is quite odd, considering that some-equus arbitrarily designated your universe as the Prime one."

Captain Goodguy poured himself out of the breastplate, making all three griffons hop back uncomfortably. "Let's see, we have Captain of the Royal Guard Gilda..." He tapped Nightmare!Gilda on the shoulder. "Soldier of the Night Guard and former Time Warrior Extraordinaire... Wonderful chap, that Doctor. Always wondered what he'd be like if he wasn't evil." He conjured an image of a Gilda wearing tribal face paint and wielding a crossbow. "Fights for her friends..." A Gilda wearing an Element of Chaos. "Fought against all-consuming Equality..." A silhouette of a towering griffon wreathed in stars. "Oops, spoiler..." he said, wiping that image away with a tiny squeegee mop.

Captain Goodguy grinned smugly. "Let's face it. You just haven't had a decent war to fight in yet!" He snapped his fingers, instantly dressing Prime Gilda in a chef's robe and hat. "So now we have Gilda, Warrior of the Kitchens, who carries a frying pan in place of a sword!"

"Is he this annoying in every dimension?" asked Guard Captain Gilda.

"Pretty much," said Night Guard Gilda.

"Chef" Gilda grinned. "I think I'm gonna like you gals after all. Let's go see what kind of lame game we're playing."

Session 24.9 Dragon-Of-Twilght

While most other ponies wound down from the Hearth's Warming festivities, high above Ponyville, a bespectacled pegasus continued to flit and flap about, jumping on clouds to squeeze more snow out of them and bouncing around like an overly excited foal... or Pinkie Pie, the difference was semantic.

"Woohoo!" Coffee Swirl jumped between clouds like he was in a bouncy castle, twirling through the snowflakes even as they stuck to his mane and the ends of his scarf. "More snow!" He giggled, actually giggled, diving into one of the snow clouds and coming out with a grin even as he shivered. "Yeah!"

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow as she and Fluttershy watched from nearby, sipping cocoa as they sat on a cloud. "So... should we tell him we've already got enough snow?"

Fluttershy waved her off. "This is the first time I've seen him smile since he gave us that game to play-test, let him have this a bit longer."

Dash wingshrugged with another sip of her drink. "Kay, just hope the bastard doesn't get frostbite while he's doing it."

Session 24.10 Alex Warlorn

"And the never-actually-gaming-curse continues," remarked one Spike to another as they watched the brutal brawl the three different sets of the mane six had gotten into. Fluttershy Prime had attacked Mirror Fluttershy first ironically with a surprisingly psychotic blood lust after Mirror Fluttershy admitted to kicking puppies off tables in her spare time and was a card carrying member of Equestria's Meat Eater's association.

Prime Twilight and Mirror Twilight had brutally debated on where the line between science and magic lay, which ended in magical and technological lasers flying.

Applejack and Mirror Applejack... it had been kind of inevitable and the less said the better.

Both Rarities had insisted they were the embodiment of fashion and the other was clueless.

As for Rainbow Dash and her mirror counterpart.

Prime RD said, "And I guess you're going to attack me?"

Instead Mirror RD covered her head with her hooves, "Don't hit me! I'll be good! Don't be angry Spitfire!"

RD looked at her mirror self in shock.

"Aren't you going to attack me?!" Asked Mirror Pinkie Pie.

"Naw... I... don't wanna hurt another 'me' again."

"What's that even MEAN?!"

"I don't like talking about it."

As for the Nightmare Moon timeline ponies... Orangejack wasn't about to get into a brawl with country folk. Twilight and Smarty Pants politely stood back not understanding what the big deal was. Fluttershy curled back from the fight, wondering if that was what she really looked like when she got angry. Rarity was waiting for the other two to tire themselves out. Pinkie Pie began asking machine gun style questions about the other two's universes. As for Thestral Rainbow Dash... she couldn't believe a version of her was such a spineless wimp!

"Yeah, the curse most definitely continues." Said the other Spike as the two played Harmony The Gathering.

Session 24.11 Mtangalion

Windy Whisper soared through moonlit cirrus clouds on nearly silent wings, pitch darkness below and the full glory of Princess Luna's night above. The grey thestral grinned, fangs gleaming. "Mmm, it's been way too long." She pulled a stack of parchments from her saddlebag, dipped a quill pen in ink... and cast pages and quill into the wind.

Like magic, the pages floated before her... like magic, because it *was* magic, wind magic. Windy smirked. The nerve of some ponies, calling it pegasus magic... She held a steady glide, focusing the wind around her to make all the pages glide this way and that, sorting them in order. She read the last few paragraphs, and immediately the scene she'd been working on leapt to mind. The wind floated the quill to the last page, and she began to write...

"They took Silver Crystal with them, bounding through the Evershade Forest like they belonged to it, powerful, feral, howling to each other in voices no pony should have possessed. Deeper and deeper, beyond any hope of rescue or help, until finally they brought her before a brute that towered head and shoulders even over them. He gazed down at her with lantern-like green eyes, a mountain of shaggy red fur and muscle, straw blond mane hanging down to his shoulders, speaking not a word."

"Silver Crystal gulped. 'You... You're wolf ponies!'"

"The red-furred leader of that strange pack snorted. He lifted a *paw* larger than her head... and carefully brushed her ear. 'YES.'"

The mists beneath Windy parted, and Rainbow Dash rose suddenly into view, surfing through the clouds just inches away. "Ooh, whatcha writing?"

Windy shrieked and wheeled her hooves, totally losing her concentration. She reestablished her flight field quickly, but the quill and pages were blasted away from her, fluttering loose in all directions. "Oh no, no no no!"

Dash had the decency to be embarrassed, scratching her mane with a hoof. "Ouch, I'm really sorry about that. I'll help you catch them!"

"No!" cried Windy. "I mean... that's okay! I don't need any help!" She dove after the closest pages, snatching them up in her hooves. High altitude winds gusted, carrying the rest of the pages straight towards Ponyville... of course.

Rainbow Dash zoomed up alongside her, wings beating lazily. "We can make it a contest! The pony who catches the most pages wins." She zoomed away again, leaving a rainbow contrail... how did she do that in moonlight?!

"Focus," growled Windy Whisper to herself, pumping her leathery wings to pick up speed. Dodge left, grab a page, barrel roll right, grab two more pages. "I have to beat her to those pages, or my life here is ruined!" In the distance, she saw more rainbow trails streak past at ridiculous speeds. "Oh, right. What was I thinking? Yep, I'm doomed..."

They were nearly down to the rooftops of Ponyville when Windy snagged the last page that she could see. Dash glided up to her and hoofed over a stack of pages without trying to read them, thank Luna! "That's seven pages for you and ten for me!" The pegasus grinned, showing off the feather caught in her teeth. "And your quill. I win!"

Windy snatched the stack of paper and checked the page numbers, confirming that no pages were missing. "Uh... thanks. Keep the quill, I'll get a new one." She blinked... Dash was snickering. "What?"

Dash nudged her. "Heh, I had no idea you wrote mushy stuff like this."

Windy nearly fell right out of the sky, cheeks blushing scarlet. "Wh.. What? You couldn't have read them! There wasn't time!"

Dash coughed. "Yeah, I kinda pick up on everything while I'm flying. Sorry about that too... I totally get why you were too embarrassed to tell us."

"Wait, what?!" Windy bristled, forgetting herself. "Are you saying my writing is bad?!"

"Chill, okay? How would I know? I don't read stuff like that. It's more fun to chat up real colts. There's this awesome bar in Cloudsdale I could show you. I could totally go with you if you ever need a wingpony."

Windy glared at her.

"And... I totally put my hoof in my mouth again. Offer still stands, though." Dash grinned. "Now, if you want an expert opinion on mushy writing, I could always show your stuff to Rarity..."

"No!" yelped Windy. "Don't you dare tell her about..." She coughed. "I mean, this is first draft and I'd be just mortified, so please don't mention it. To anypony."

Dash beamed. "Hey, would I do that to a friend?" She yawned and stretched in midair. "Welp, there's a nice soft cloud with my name on it. Seeya!" Dash waved and zipped away.

Windy was left hovering over Ponyville, blinking. "Friend? Huh."

Session 24.12 Kendell2

"You feel a chill going down you back and hear a ghostly moan..." said a navy blue, black maned Batpony with a tone that would be at home as a narrator for a horror film, red eyes staring ominously from behind her glasses, a black book with a will-o-wisp for a Cutie Mark. "What do you do?"

Luna's two Night Guards, Echo and Nocturn, shivered.

"I check for the presence," said Windy, rolling.

The batpony rolled a third 'luck' dice with the game logo instead of a six. "You detect the presence down the hall. Your EKG beaps faster and faster and faster as it comes closer and closer. The moaning growing louder and louder by the moment..."

"G-Ghost Story, do you have to say it so spooky every time?" Nocturn asked, shuddering.

Windy rolled her eyes. "Let her tell the story how she likes to. She's the GM."

Ghost Story giggled. "What's wrong, Nocturn? You're a big strong Night Guard, afraid of a little ghost?"

"N-No, o-of course not..."

"Excuse me-" said Twilight, entering the room.

"AH!"

"AH!

"AHH!"

"AHH!"

"AHHHHHHH!"

Nocturn panted, as did Twilight.

Twilight blinked, looking up at the four Bat Ponies hanging upside down from the ceiling by their tails, the table positioned so they could still reach everything fine.

"Hello, Princess Twilight," said Ghost Story. "Your novel is on the counter."

"Oh, thanks! Sorry for interrupting your game," Twilight said, getting the book off the counter of Ghost Story's book store. "And startling you."

"It's fine, life's no fun without a good scare," Ghost Story replied, giving a wave as Twilight leave. "So...shall we continue?" asked the mare, giving an omnous look and causing Nocturn to blush as his partner gave him a chuckling nudge.

Session 24.13 Dragon-Of-Twilght

"So... who are you again?"

Coffee Swirl gave Bon Bon a look as he sat behind a DM's screen. "I run the coffee shop over on Meadow Lane."

She slowly nodded. "And how did you find this game?"

"Somepony was moving out of town and had to sell some stuff he found in his attic for extra bits. I remembered the name, and it was cheap. So I decided to get it."

"Right..." She tilted the old and worn box toward her. Though the ornate script on it was faded and slightly damaged with time, the title 'Last Fantasy VI' could still be read upon it. "I thought this was one of those video game things, not a board game."

"BONNIE!" Lyra jumped up as though her 'best friend' had just used a racial slur. "I've told you a thousand times, these are not 'board games'; they're Tabletop Role Playing Games!"

Bon Bon rolled her eyes. "Whatever, but still!"

"Haven't really had time to look into it," Swirl admitted. "But it's got the company logo on it, and everything I can find seems official enough. Even if the information is a bit out of date."

Muffins looked up from the small book of an instructions manual, her eyes crossed. "Is that why it only mentions Celestia as a princess?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "Game's about as old as I am, I don't think anypony outside of her knew about Luna back then. Though I think it was just after Cadance showed up, so they worked her in as a co-ruler." He paused as the gathered ponies all looked at him. "What? I didn't make the game, I'm just telling it like it is."

"And the plot?" Octavia shot a half-hearted glare at Vinyl while the unicorn silently chuckled into her hoof.

"AU Equestria; some self-styled emperor from the gryphon lands marched on the country a few years prior and is looking for a lost fourth tribe of ponies that supposedly had magic anyone could use. He also has been conducting magic experiments to try and emulate them, but we'll get to that part later."

The Doctor scoffed at this. "As if Equestria was short on would-be emperors; could have just used Sombra."

"Again, out of date; nopony knew about him back when this was made. And we'll be here all night if you want to point out every historical inaccuracy, so can we move along?"

The Doctor grumbled, but pulled out his sheet the same as the others.

"Okay, before we begin, I need each of you to roll a d20 and tell me what you get."

Six dice all clattered across the table.

"Twelve," said Lyra.

"I got eight," Bon Bon added.

"A fourteen for me," Octavia replied.

The Doctor chuckled at something as his stopped on ten.

Vinyl quietly grumbled as she held up her natural one.

And Muffins... "A twenty, woo-hoo!" She clapped her hooves together with a smile on her face.

"Congratulations," Swirl simply said. "Your character gets to be a demigod."

Everypony around the table froze. "What?"

"The giant wasp fires its stinger at you, Octavia; roll reflex."

"I already am; thirteen, is that good enough?"

Swirl checked his notes. "What's your character's modifier again?"

"Plus four."

"Then yeah, your thief avoids the stinger."

The cello player put on a smug grin. "And you said I was a fool for making one, Vinyl."

Vinyl stuck her tongue out at Octavia, looking back at her own sheet. While, on paper, there was nothing entirely wrong with her 'Brawler' character, she'd had such poor luck with her rolls that she was barely standing.

"I roll to use my Multi-bow on the enemies!" Lyra shook the dice in a magically constructed hand, then tossed them on the table and looked at the d10s. "Okay... six, four, and eight; what's that get me?"

"Well, the wasp is dead finally," Swirl paused to let Lyra and Bon Bon hoofbump, "and you do another ten points of damage to the giant rats. You're up, Doc."

"My Samurai spends two sword-tech points to ready his Counter ability."

"Okay; just in time too, since one of the rats bites you. You take... fifteen damage, but the thirty you deal in return takes out the rat. But you're in critical health now."

"I cast cure on him!" Muffins called out, then blushed sheepishly at her own outburst. "Um, I can do that, right?"

"Yeah; he's back up to full health now."

"Okay, good."

"Why is her character the only one who can use magic when she's a pegasus?" Bon Bon finally asked. "Three of us are playing unicorns and all we have is basic telekinesis."

"That's how the game works," Swirl answered. "She rolled the highest, so her character gets to be half-esper. Don't worry, it'll even out later; also, it's your turn."

"Fine... my Wildmare uses her Lost Cat rage... eighteen... and with my weapon that threatens a critical... fourteen to confirm?"

"Just barely, but yeah; the rat's dead from that. They dropped a few potions, and you can see the exit to the cave in the distance; you want to head there?"

"I'm sure you're waiting with a boss monster just to mess with us, so might as well..."

Swirl said nothing, though his face held a slight smile as he shuffled a few of his notes about behind the screen.

Session 24.14 Dragon-Of-Twilght

Swirl read the Doctor's first character sheet. Similar to the NPC he'd run in the Doctor's own campaign. "No."

Doctor Blinked, "'No'? No what?"

"No, this isn't happening." He tosses the sheet away.

Doctor sputtered. "But that character-"

"Is blatant wish fulfillment of a level that I refuse to allow in any game I run. And if you try to turn whatever character you DO end up making into this one, I will rip up the sheet, throw you out of the game, physically if I have to, and kick you in the face if you still don't get the message. Are we clear?"

" ...yes."

"Good; now, make a different character."

Session 24.15 Ardashir (with edits by me and Sonicandmario826 and Mtangalion)

"Of course, the first time Alisa and Chrysalis met, they didn't exactly sit down and challenge each other to a game of cards..." Rarity said sipping some tea.

"Greetings, friends of Mistress Rarity!" Five ponies looked up as Alisa the Diamond Wolf loped into the room, a diamond-studded collar on her neck. "She is not able to make it for your 'game night', so she asked me to fill in for her."

She went right to one of the two empty chairs and curled up in it.

"Rarity can't make it? Oh dear, I remember she wondered to me earlier how long that new order would take. At least we have you here, Alisa." Fluttershy reached over and lightly scratched the pony-size wolf behind her ears. Alisa's tongue lolled, sending droplets of wolf slobber onto the tabletop. Fluttershy grinned. "Who''s a good girl?"

"Uh, okay, I guess," Rainbow Dash moved her character sheet back a little. "It's just, ya know we're gonna have another guest over tonight, right? An' we don't know how she's gonna react ta a wolf."

"Mistress Rarity said to behave as she would," Alisa said, raising her head proudly. "I will make my pony-pack proud of me."

"At least ya ain't wearin' those creepy pony-suits no more," Applejack set a bowl of baked apple crisp before Alisa. She lowered her muzzle and almost inhaled the food. Applejack let her finish. "That's a big improvement right there."

"Oh, but I still do!" The relieved smiles on the faces of the ponies faded as Alisa said, "I have altered the suit of Miss Rarity to have red mane and ruby flank-mark. Sometimes I wear it and see if anypony can guess I am really a wolf." She grinned, fangs gleaming. "Nopony ever has."

"I love those suits!" Pinkie Pie ate some of her snacks. "They're as good as the one I wore when I had to spy as Fluttershy in the Crystal Empire..."

Fluttershy shuddered. Twilight set a reassuring hoof on her withers.

"An' it oughta give you something in common with our guest tonight!"

"Really?" The ponies didn't notice how Alisa's ears slowly went back, or the roughness in her voice as she said, "What guest?"

"What meaningless, juvenile -- ahem, I meant to say, friendship-affirming and socially-positive pony game are we playing this time?" Queen Chrysalis walked in slowly, a magic-dampening lock on her jagged horn. Alisa bristled and hunched, eyes starting to blaze.

"Queen Chrysalis," Twilight said, nodding to her. "I'm so glad you keep agreeing to this. It's a much better way of keeping an eye on you than, well..."

"Than locking me and my swarm away inside a volcano, as the ever-forgiving Princess Celestia did once before?" Chrysalis sneered and stomped one chitinous hoof. "And what is with this magic dampener whenever I visit?" She gave them the most innocent blitheful blinking of large cute eyes she could that would make a Yak's heart melt. "You don't trust me?"

She was met with glares. "Smart move." Replied Chrysalis with a wicked smirk. She glared at the ponies, her gaze going from one to the other as she said, "I suppose it is an improvement, even though every time I look at you hypocrites I want to turn my swarm loose again. Treating us poor Changelings like criminals..."

"Yah mind-controlled half the Guard an' Twi's BBBFF, knocked Cadance unconscious an' stuck her in a mine, an' tried ta bug-ify Princess Celestia," Applejack smacked one hoof on the table. "Y'all are lucky we ain't griffons or dragons." Her friends nodded. All save Fluttershy, who was eyeing the snarling Alisa with increasing concern.

"Yes, it did go well at first, didn't it?" Chrysalis laughed. She rolled her eyes as none of the ponies joined in. "What, no let bygones be bygones? You ponies are so vindictive. So we're playing that silly 'O&O' again? So, more robbery of poor monsters because we're 'the good guys'?" She looked along the table. "Where's Miss 'I Was So Evil'? Dd you throw her out with the rest of the rejects..."

Her eyes fell on Alisa, who bristled so fiercely she looked half again her normal size.

Chrysalis hissed as Alisa clambered up on the table.

Two voices, one Changeling and one lupine, spoke as one:

"WHAT IS THAT THING DOING HERE?!?"

"Huh? What?" Twilight looked from Chrysalis to Alisa and back again. "What's the matter with you two? HEY!"

Dash and Applejack pinned down the snarling Diamond Wolf just as Twilight's magic snatched Chrysalis as she flew at Alisa.

"Dangit, ya crazy wolf! Simmer down! Ah mean, don't nopony like Chrysalis, but she's a guest!"

"Queen Chrysalis!" Twilight snapped. "Right now your magic is restrained, AND I can have you sent to an actual prison! So control yourself!"

"Filthy bug-pony!" Alisa snapped, her jaws making a chopping noise as they came together. "Tried to infiltrate Diamond Wolf packs long ago! Diamond Wolves could smell bug-stink! They kill our prince! Diamond Wolves HATE bug-ponies!"

"Wait, Diamond Wolves can smell Changelings, even in other forms?" Twilight blinked, and made a quick note. BBBFF and Cadance might be pleased to learn that.

"We had to evolve, we've worked on improvements," Chrysalis shrugged.

"Evolution doesn't work that way!"

"It does for us. So you vermin still exist?" Chrysalis sneered, vanishing in green flame and reappearing as a Diamond Wolf. The ponies didn't recognize him, but Alisa stiffened. Chrysalis laughed. "To think that something that minor still angers you mongrels. I was wondering if we could feed on you like we did on ponies, and then I learn you can smell us out." She sighed and looked pleased. "So I naturally killed their mangy prince of the time to teach them to stay out of our affairs, AND I had my Changelings take their forms and cause mischief to make them hated... But really? All this anger over my making wolfskin rugs a fashion among Stalliongrad ponies for years?"

Alisa snarled and fought to reach Chrysalis. She just laughed.

"Both of you, KNOCK. IT. OFF!"

Wolf and Changeling were slammed into their seats and held helpless. Twilight rose over them. her horn glowing and hr face bearing the look she normally only showed Spike when he allowed silverfish into the library.

"I have spent a MONTH working on this adventure! I put off reading the latest Daring Do book JUST to get this done in time!" Alisa and Chrysalis wilted under Twilight's fury. "I am NOT allowing it to be ruined by some centuries-old feud!" She exploded into flames, her coat turning jet black like Nightmare Moon's as she almost roared, "Now, both of you, calm down and play politely, OR I WILL LOSE MY TEMPER!" She settled back down in her chair, returned to normal appearance, took a deep breath and straightened her mane before saying in her usual voice, "Please?"

"Yes, ma'am," the terrified Alisa and Chrysalis said in small voices, cringing back.

Twilight smiled and opened her notebook, taking out the adventure notes.

Dash tapped Applejack on the withers and whispered, "AJ? I think I gotta use the little filly's room."

"After that?" AJ gulped and smiled weakly as Twilight grinned at her, looking manic. "Better hold it. Ah think potty breaks are cancelled for th' night."

Out of sight meanwhile, Kevin the changeling (good old fashioned perfume did wonders) took a photo of the sight of Queen Chrysalis cowing before Princess Twilight Sparkle. True, the Queen hated him in a way that made Dragon Lord Torch's dislike of Dragon Town dragons look like pure unconditional love, but this photo would be worth it.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 24.0 Mooncalf99
Session 24.1 Mtangalion
Session 24.2 Alex Warlorn
Session 24.3 Kendell2
Session 24.4 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 24.5 Mtangalion
Session 24.6 Kendell2 (OOC: I want to see what everyone can think of to do with this. Seemed like a fun idea.)
Session 24.7 Kendell2
Session 24.8 Mtangalion
Session 24.9 Dragon-Of-Twilght
Session 24.10 Alex Warlorn
Session 24.11 Mtangalion
Session 24.12 Kendell2
Session 24.13 Dragon-Of-Twilght
Session 24.14 Dragon-Of-Twilght
Session 24.15 Ardashir (with edits by me and Sonicandmario826 and Mtangalion)

Cover art by Meanlucario http://meanlucario.deviantart.com/

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Session 25

Session 25.0 BrutalityInc

A Game of Dragons (Part 1)

1000 Years From Now

The Equestrian city of Fillydelphia is no stranger to the unusual throughout the last millennium - it has experienced Parasprite infestation, monster attacks, foreign invasions (Such as by Changelings, before the Great Reconciliation), a dozen uppity evil overlords, and so forth, though so far nothing has yet brought the ever growing and developing metropolis of high tech and magic crumbling into ruin. It has its own share of eccentric pony populace whose presence remained largely the same, even if their amusing, weird, and occasionally disturbing behaviours and traits changes unpredictably over the last fifty or so generations.

All in all, the city is not unfamiliar with the abnormal.

So when, one fine weekend morning, a massive fireball of arcane flames burst into existence over the city, and disgorged from it an azure dragoness and two other drakes, there was alarm, but not outright panic.

It helped that she had messaged the city officials ahead to inform them of her coming. It also helped that she had been here before.

Even by dragon standards, the dragoness was enormous as she was beautiful; the two great wyrms that accompanied her didn't even come to her ankles. Because of this, the city's Spaceport was the only open space near the city which would allow her to land, which meant all aerospace traffic would be suspended or diverted for the half hour period around her arrival, and then again at her projected departure.

Codenamed Novalite, the smart-material that paved the tarmac of the spaceport was a masterpiece of advanced Equestrian material science and Zebra neo-alchemy, easily capable of withstanding the weight and fiery exhaust of space shuttles, dropships, and other space launch vehicles for prolonged periods of time, and remained unscathed and cool. Even so, when the giant dragoness landed, even the substance could not stop the ground from shaking briefly over kilometers, deforming slightly where she touched-down. And if she really wanted to, it would not had survive her raw strength or burning flames.

Of course, the small welcome committee of city officials didn't need to worry about that happening, nor worry about the possibility of the dragoness going on a rampage to destroy their fair city (In fact, she helped saved it once). Even so, inevitably, her appearance was terrifying.

Like her father before her, she wore armor over her azure scales, fit to her size; though contrary to its resplendent look, the advanced metal alloys were not gold and brass, and the array of sorcerous enchantments and cutting-edge technology, all powered by a compact fusion-arcane hybrid generator, made the powered-exoskeletal attire much newer and more functional than it appears. Her headwear however, worn over her large, downward-curved white horns and long, dark blue frills, was definitely old, if no less regal; a great crystalline crown, a gift from the Crystal Empire five centuries back, decorated by many smaller gems and stones, the most radiant and precious ones arranged in a mosaic pattern that displayed the dragoness' heraldry, punctuated by one jewel from an artefact that predates even the crown by another 500 years; the Bloodstone, once and remains the symbol of her office, her authority.

Rapid-fire greetings were exchanged between her and the VERY nervous welcoming committee; formalities and small-talk, really, and she would had paid them little attention were she not a head of state. When that was done, she and her entourage - not just draconic body guards, but draconic PRAETORIAN guards; deadly, professional, the elite of elites - were on their way to the city, striding forward with a single purpose, the ground trembling with every step they took.

She was not here on a diplomatic mission.

She was here to meet an old acquaintance.

She was here to face her arch-rival.

She was here… to play a game.

= = =

Entire sections of Fillydelphia grounded to a halt when Ember strolled through the cityscape, making a straight line towards her destination.

After all, it’s not every day when a small living mountain of flesh, bone and dragon-scales make its way down the main streets of the futuristic city.

Hovercraft and flying vehicle traffic, now a staple phenomenon in every city of Equestria, paused in their hundreds to let Ember and her guards stomp pass. They were the reason why she couldn’t just fly there; not when every flap of her wings a hurricane that could throw them into buildings and into the ground, and with it send many little ponies to their deaths.

Monorails on lines that cris-crossed the ground or hung around tall buildings stopped in their tracks as the shaking grew intense, too unsafe to continue without risking derailment. Those cars at her eye-level, she could see through windows the passengers huddling together, seemingly hoping not to catch the attention of the ‘Colossal Reptile Behemoth’, or for the monorail to fall off the rails they were hung on.

Crowds gathered on balconies and roof-tops to see the spectacle, to witness what seemed like a giant monster flick, coming to life before them, more authentic than any holovision films or virtual reality simulations. They came in all species, shapes and sizes; Ember could swear by Tiamat that some were even Alicorns (there seemed to be a new one every time she checked), changelings, or one of those new-fangled hybrid, bio-engineered or robotic races that were becoming increasingly common.

They, and all others, watched her pass silently; some ponies cried, others were praying. Most were silent. They all stared at her, however, and many of them stared in awe.

After all, it’s not everyday that you see a living, breathing legend come down your way.

She had kept her composure, and projected that same commanding, regal face that she always held while in court or on diplomatic functions, one recorded in thousands upon thousands of pictures, paintings, engravings, statues, photos, videos, psychic recordings and holo-projections throughout the millennia.

But deep down, beneath the veneer of a high lord, she felt a profound sense of… irony, and with it embarrassment. It was so great she had to fight her instinct to chortle or blush.

She knows she is a living legend. She knows she is admired and abhorred, loved and feared, cheered and jeered, not only by dragons, but countless other nations and people worldwide.

But regardless of how they felt, they all looked at her in awe. They always had, always did.

Did they never realize, though? That a millennium ago, when she first came here, it was SHE who looked up at them in awe? And do they know that, even after a thousand years, in some ways, she still do?

If only they knew.

= = =

Starscrapers.

That’s what they called them now. Those towers of nano-glass, neo-steel, and ferro-cement that composed of their great cities, that now surrounded her.

It was but a millennium ago, less than even an eighth to a tenth of an average dragon’s potential lifespan these days, that they called them ‘skyscrapers’. She had scoffed that notion when Spike told her of them, but when she saw them for the first time, she would never forget the sight.

Fillydelphia. It was there that seeds of her great dream was planted.

True, she had been to a civilized pony settlement before, that being Ponyville. She was there, on the orders of her dad, to find Spike’s teacher in Mahjong. What a shock it was still, as it was back then; a little pony, teaching a DRAGON how to play a humble game! What arrogance she and her father had, to believe such a thing was impossible. What greater arrogance still believing that a pony could never play as well as dragon, if not better.

But her crowning arrogance of all was to assume that Ponyville was the norm, not the exception. Sure, it had a fancy tree-like palace made of delicious-looking crystal, but even that looked smaller on the outside. And that city hanging on a mountain looked so awfully small from Ponyville. She remembered she had the gall to sneer at the cottages the ponies built, believing as if caves wasn’t enough for them!

Everything she thought about the ponies came crashing down, when Spike invited her to come to Fillydelphia.

Nothing could had readied her for the majesty that she beheld; buildings of all shapes and sizes, as far as the eye could see, from concrete blocks of humble ‘apartment buildings’, to towering pillars of glass and steel that reached for the sky, called ‘skyscrapers’. So many of them, for so many purposes!

Everywhere she looked, buildings! Buildings filled with ponies. Inside; there were ponies talking, working, shopping, dancing, arguing, singing, everything! They lived in comfort, in chambers and rooms, lit by electric lights, surrounded by coloured walls from which hung paintings and photoframes, while tapestries covered floors of wood and even marble, furniture that allowed them to eat their meals and play their games, wonder appliances that could cook and clean and even allow them to speak with others over long distances! No dragon had any comforts like this in their lairs!

Out in the streets! Bustling crowds commuting, going about their lives in the thousands, the millions! They wore jewellery and shiny clothes, flaunting wealth that dragons would had just hidden and hoarded! They traded – not take or stolen, TRADED! – New wealth or commodities at vendors, shops, markets and malls for themselves with currencies made of gold and even gemstones! Carriage traffic jamming the roads! Trains and ships with engines that roared like great beasts!

She remembered asking: How could such small people do all this? How could they make themselves so rich, so powerful, in such a short life?

“What was the point of it all?”

= = =

She and her guards stomped past one building that looked old, seemingly out of place with the rest of the city. A holo-screen on its roof showed that it was scheduled to be torn down, an old, crumbling near-ruin about to be casted away, too worn out to be preserved. replaced with a newer building.

Ember took a moment to give it a quick glance, yet it was enough to fill her draconic heart with melancholy. It was one that she recognized too well; she had been there, back when it was brand new.

Spike and his friends answered her question, by taking her to that place, a ‘history museum’, where they recorded their past. Not just with oral traditions that the dragons ever had, but with exhibits of artefacts, recreations made of wax figures and props, statues and paintings of great ponies past hung on walls, remains of cities and creatures long gone put on display, and magically-animated pictures showed past life in speculated details.

There, she beheld the history of that one city alone: Beginning with its humble origins as a fishing village near the coast, named Delphi. It rose to prominence as an oracle emerged, a filly whose unnatural insights into the future drawn in petitioners from all across Equestria, and with it, trade and prosperity that turned village into a town, then into a city. Such was the oracle’s renown, she became synonymous with the place, long after she had grown up, grown old and died: Filly of Delphi. Filly Delphi. Fillydelphia.

It had its moments of misfortunes, disasters that threatened it with ruination; the amusements of Discord, natural disasters, the conflict waged by Nightmare Moon, Parasprites, Tirek, incursions by griffons, changelings and dragons. One scene stood out, at the medieval exhibit; there Ember saw a unicorn knight; alone, battered and bleeding, surrounded by his dead comrades, roaring his defiance with his sword held high at the monstrous-looking dragons advancing towards him, buying time with his last stand for helpless villagers escaping to safety behind old Fillydelphia’s walls.

It had its moments of pride; opening of Equestria’s first and greatest shipyard, churning out steam ocean-liners at the dawn of the Industrial Age; the Equestrian Games, where Fillydelphia became the first city to win the gold medals in all events; centuries later, Fillydelphia’s proudest son, an astronaut, became the first pony in recorded history to walk upon the Moon under their own power besides the Alicorn Princesses, taken there by the greatest rocket of its time. His name would be memorialized centuries later upon the Equestrian starship that would take Equestria’s first extrasolar colonists to new worlds.

And Fillydelphia was merely one city, in a proud realm filled with them, united in friendship and harmony, each with their tall buildings and bustling populace, each with their colourful culture and history!

There, at the museum, it was Princess Twilight who explained it to her:

“The ponies did all this, not because they were strong, like the dragons were. They did it precisely because they were weak.”

And she understood.

The ponies were at the mercy of everything around them, from predators and monsters to the elements themselves. Just to survive, they look past their petty differences, and worked together, as friends and family, to tame the environment around them with their tools and magic, always driven to innovate by necessity. Prosperity was a luxury borne from hard labour, not something that was given to them from birth.

This was Ember’s first true taste of modern civilization. It confused her. It awed her. Now, a millennium later, as she walked down those streets once more, it still made her feel so small.

Starscrapers; now their buildings had breached the sky, some reaching higher than the sky into the void of space, dwarfing even her titanic physique. Kilometre long maglev trains run on a network of rails longer than even world serpents themselves, bringing goods and travellers above or below the ground in vacuum tunnels across continents. Giant airliners shaped like flying wings flew through the air, while orbital SASSTO ferries skimmed through the void, faster than any Great Eagle or Dragon with wings, now allowing ponies to reach all corners of the globe, undeterred by the oceans, mountain ranges or leagues of distance. Colonies and cities beneath the earth and the oceans; domed settlements dotting other worlds in this solar system, and many more orbiting other alien suns; there was nowhere they couldn’t reach and settle!

How truly naïve she was, a foolish teenager scoffing at their achievements. Dragons made their lairs in caves, but to these ponies, only cave-ponies, primitive savages, live in caves!

So what did that make the dragons? Stone-age primitives. Less than that, even; they hardly ever even use tools, stone or otherwise! It’s not like they ever need them. Long-lived and powerful, they were accustomed to getting their way every time, destroying anyone and anything otherwise with their fire, claws and huge sizes. And that there lie the great tragedy of dragon-kind.

Dragons were all, by their own admission, creatures of avarice and aggression. Combined with their natural might, their greed and aggression had made them feared destroyers of kingdoms, but they were nothing more than that; DESTROYERS. Destroyers can never hope to CREATE anything, let alone the beautiful, shiny things that they plunder. How can there be, when the dragons are too proud, stubborn and arrogant to listen to others, share ideas, or think beyond what way of life they have?

Even though Tiamat and Bahumet still breaths and walk the earth, the dragons had always treated themselves as the gods of their own little worlds. It left them constantly fighting and bickering among themselves, in an endless war for domination, to be the strongest alpha male with the biggest hoard, the best mates, and the largest territory; a desire to possess EVERYTHING, and EVERYONE ELSE crushed beneath their claws.

Only the Honah-Lee dragons of the East seemed spare from that great curse, but they were the exception, not the rule.

Dragon would never had been ones to forge mighty realms and built great kingdoms. These ponies and other races didn’t care that their founders would never see what they planted bear fruit; only that it will survive, and endure, and prosper, until sapling become a tree, and there rose the capital of a dominion where a humble village once stood, realms that could out-last even a dragon. They left a legacy that their descendants could look back with pride.

They aim for the heavens, once. Now, they will even reach for the stars themselves. This was an age of wonders that she was only bringing dragon-kind towards.

This was the glory that the dragons would had thrown away and reject, trapped in their old ways and clinging to their delusions of superiority.

Most dragons had only ever seen in these civilizations places where food and carnage could be found.

Most dragons had only ever done was tearing them down, kill their people and mock them.

Most dragons had only ever desire to see them burnt down, and loot the charred ruins that remains.

Something had to be done to correct that. Otherwise, the dragons would never accomplish anything of true magnificence. They would produce no great works of art, no great wonders of magic, no great advancement of science; no great crafts, no great culture, no great civilisation. They would forever be little more than oversized raiders and barbarians who would stay the same, slowly passing into a footnote of history while other races and nations surpass them, remembered only as thieves, bullies… killers.

Some dragon had to do something to change all that.

And Ember became that dragon.

They stomped past it, and their attention returned once more to the road, to their destination. There could be no distractions for what she was here to do.

= = =

Dragontown stood before her.

It has changed much ever since she had last visited, not too long ago by dragon standards. It has gotten bigger; now a massive urban area, sitting on an island between a fork in the rivers, linked by bridges, a city within a city, far larger than the tiny, packed neighbourhood streets it began as, centuries back. Solar panels, mana-collectors and satellite uplinks lined the rooftops of its buildings, carved out of mesas and a cliff-face; a hyperwave comm tower stood high above it all, connecting Dragontown to the rest of the planet, and other worlds beyond the stars with FTL transmissions.

It resembled the dragon city that had grown around her lair. Yes, dragons have cities now; her capital was the greatest among them, named after her father Torch, the old ex-Dragon Lord. Larger than most cities by necessity due to their sizes, it had its own towering buildings carved and built out of volcanic rock, and an infrastructure heated and powered by geothermal energy of the volcanic lands it was founded on. It had its own markets and malls, schools and academies, police and fire stations, roads and rails, ports and landing zones for flying dragons and aerospace vehicles; libraries and data-archives that rivaled those of Canterlot, museums as great as those of Aquestria in the Sparkling Seas that at last put oral traditions of their own past into view, monuments and art matching those made by Diamond Dogs that stood tall and proud in every public space, remembering past dragons of great renown.

However, for all its splendor, it had been Dragontown, along with Fillydelphia, had been the model upon which it was designed, and then improved upon.

And so there she was, striding towards Dragontown, past the great streets of the place where her dream began, towards her adversary, ever closer to the game she is about the play.

She would go as she always was, as Ember. She had an endless series of prestigious titles and ‘nicknames’ to go with it. Include among them: Ember, Daughter of Torch. Ember, the Cunning. Ember, the Bloodstone Lord. Ember, the Conqueror. Ember, the Chosen of Tiamat.

Ember, the Grand Lord of All Dragons.

These weren’t titles that she made up for herself and given to herself in bouts of megalomania; no, they were all given to her, by other dragons, something she had earned through blood, sweat and tears from the strain of monumental effort. The last one humbled her the most, for they were given to her by the dragon gods themselves, Queen Tiamat and King Bahumet, in recognition of her achievements.

And, despite her own doubts, she had achieved more than enough to earn it.

In the space of a millennium, she had taken the fractious territories and fiefdoms of dragon-kind and turned it into one of the greatest EMPIRE the world has ever known, the first that the dragons HAD known, rivalled and surpassed only in might and splendour to shining Equestria and the other great powers of the earth.

It was an empire with borders on every continent of the globe, and within which lived dragons of all kinds in the millions, living in harmony with one another and the nations that surrounded them, with peace and order enforced by laws she codified (And ratified by King Bahumet).

It was an empire that has grown richer than any dragon had with their hoards, thanks to the vast resources that could be mined or farmed by industries of their own and traded for more wealth, thanks to her investments, not counting those from the hundred nations of protectorates and vassals that pay them tribute.

It was an empire bulwarked by the ranks of dragon warriors, not just ravaging dragon hordes of kingdoms, but armies of elite soldiers, trained to fight in cohesive units, armed to the teeth with advance magic and weapons, indoctrinated to fight for greater good of dragon-kind than their own selfish glory, which along with their natural might, made them all but unstoppable in any battle.

And she ruled that empire, from her capital city, from a grand palace carved out of a mountain, its grandeur paled only to the lairs of great Queen Tiamat and King Bahumet.

Technically, she was still just a Dragon Lord, despite the addition of ‘Grand’ upon it, equal in power among other proxies of the Dragon God-Queen. In practice, given the unrivalled power and influence she and her clan has amongst her fellow Lords and dragons, she might as well be an empress or a shogun in all but name. Besides their own gods, she was the one all the Dragon Lords, and in turn much of Dragon-kind, had pledged fealty to.

This was all the outcome of her great dream, her golden ambition: to have dragon-kind overcome their flawed nature, and rise above them; to have a civilization, and legacy, that their descendants could look back on with pride, much like the other races had. Given what was at stake, it was a task she was willing pursue, no matter how long it took, no matter how it took.

It was not easy; to make it happen, she played a game of thrones that spanned a thousand years. Confronting the other Dragon Lords and their flights, she brought them into the fold either by diplomacy and example, turning the receptive among them to their side; and where they had been obstinate and willing to contest her, she brought them into the fold through force and guile, from wars that could rage for decades to schemes that could take centuries to bear fruit.

Her willingness to try the unorthodox, ask for outside help, think beyond the draconic ways, learn knowledge and skills beyond what most dragons are content with, had given her, and her flight, an advantage over her rivals. One by one, they fell before her, out-fought and out-witted. Many times it might seem like she could fail, like when the last resisting Dragon Lords, now fearful of her, put her to court before Queen Tiamat herself, where she had to defend her actions, convince her Queen of its merits, or risk being stripped of Lordship and lose everything she had accomplished; but like that time, like so many times, she had ultimately prevailed, against all odds.

So far, Grand Dragon Lord Ember has had an illustrious, if not unparalleled reign. But even on that seemingly flawless record, there was a blemish.

And one of those who created that blemish live in Dragontown.

= = =

As she approached, she noticed how eerily deserted and quiet the whole place had become. Silence reigned; not a single dragon with wings in the air nor walking upon its cobblestone and ferro-concrete streets. The only sound was the footfall of her heavy claws and the rumbling of the earth as it shook in her wake.

She knew the reason why: they know she was coming, and so they hid.

Dragontown had a place in her heart; seeing and touring it, all these years ago, contributed to her epiphany and fledging ambitions. It and its populace showed her it was possible for dragons to coexist with other races, and replicate the wonders ponies achieved. She modelled much of the new draconic society she had forged, based on Dragontown.

So it hurt her inside, to see that those dragons who showed her that they could be more than brutes, only regarded her as a tyrant. Just like father, just like daughter.

Then again, Dragontown was originally founded as a haven for Equestrian dragons to escape her father’s control. Father had refiled it for being an ‘anarchist town’; but her reservations for it was different.

She found what she was looking for; a great sinkhole, covered in a mechanized metallic lid. Many of these exists in Equestrian cities these days; most were usually left open, if they had a lid at all. They serve as entrances to tunnels and passage ways for underground traffic, many leading to great spherical geo-front chambers, buried underground, filled with more habitats and commercial centres that serve as hubs of the subterranean colonies that now exists within every continent of the earth.

A few smaller geofronts are located beneath Dragontown, lairs for the larger dragons to dwell and meet. The one beneath her now, belonged to her adversary.

Ember took a moment to and steady herself. The time has come. The game is about to commence.

She took a deep breath.

“COUNCIL DRAGON OF DRAGONTOWN! I, EMBER, GRAND LORD OF ALL DRAGONS, SEEK AN AUDIENCE!”

Nothing like an Alicorn Princess, using the Royal Canterlot Voice, but even still, her great size meant that every-pony could hear it at a radius of a dozen kilometres.

There was a moment of tense silence and stillness.

Then, slowly, the metal lid came to life. Generators ran, motor spun, machinery activated; there was a groan of gears and metal, until slowly but surely, the cover lid moved and slide aside upon its guide rails.

And from the depths, the council dragoness, the elected community leader of Dragontown for many years, came slithering out of the darkness to greet her.

Mina of Dragontown’s blood shared lineages from two different broods of dragons; one came from the western halve of the world, one which Ember herself belong, and it showed with the great wings of purple and deep pink that complemented her main body scales, the upward crooked horns of light sapphire that complemented the scales of her underbelly, flanking her bright pink frills. From her mother and grandfather Master Babylon’s brood, the Honah-Lees of the Oriental east, came her now rather serpentine body and the bright pink frills that now came down her neck. Her eyes, beautiful as the rest of her, was like her grandfather’s, revealed a deep, if cunning and mischievous, wisdom.

She was only slightly smaller than Ember, but this still made her the largest resident of Dragontown. She hovered mid-air, by both her wings and Honah-Lee magic, matching height with Ember. The two stared at each other intently.

“Hello, Ember… I knew you were coming when I felt the tremors, even from deep down here.” Mina began cordially, tapping her claws in a way reminiscent to a devious schemer, characteristic of many Honah-Lee dragons like her grandfather; she’s smirking like him, too. “You need to lose some weight.”

The two dragon praetorian guards bristled at that seeming implied insult, but a wave Ember’s huge claws stayed their claws.

“Maybe I should stop eating so many emeralds; they always go to my hips, for some reason.” Ember herself snorted and smile; she knows Mina is just joking.

“You came early, at this time of the year.” Mina continued.

“My schedule is full for the second half. This is the only time I would be free and available. I want to make good use of it.” Ember explained.

“You are always busy these days, it seems, running your regime. Still, it is good for you to visit. I’ve missed our conversations and our contests.” Mina replied.

Both dragoness knew this was sincere; they are not exactly friends, but neither are truly enemies. They are rivals, as mentioned; each regarded another as a worthy opponent, and a trustable ally in a crisis, as they had faced in a few times.

But Mina’s next words put an end to the initial cordiality they have between them, “But really, ‘Grand lord of ALL dragons’? Do you still insist on that, even though it is not entirely true?”

Ember stopped smiling.

That jab was a provocation, an opening move to hostilities to come, and Ember knew this. Normally Mina would not do this, and she would not rise to this; but for dragons, this day is different from all others. Mina was doing this because of what she represented, and in front of Dragontown before her and Fillydelphia behind her, Ember must stand her ground, for what she herself represented.

“It was the title bestowed upon me by the will of our gods, Mina, you know this.” Ember answered evenly, “You also know that with that title, our gods gave me a mandate to bring all dragons into the fold. Even the Free Dragons.”

There was a pause, as Mina seemingly considered her argument. Then she replied.

“And you remember, as I had reminded you for over a hundred times, it is also by their will that Free Dragons can live unmolested in their communities within other realms, provided that they stay within those borders.” Mina retorted calmly, throwing Ember’s argument back at her seemingly with ease. “Queen Tiamat recognizes that we may seem like defying her by disobeying her proxies, the Dragon Lords, but we’re not DIRECTLY challenging her. She and her consort recognizes all dragons had the right to live as they wish; so had they been neutral in our conflict, never directly ordering us to submit to you or your fellow Dragon Lords without question.”

There was a palpable tension in the air, much like the simmering heat that radiated from both their massive draconic bodies for kilometres.

“One mandate cannot contradict another.” Ember said. “That is why the Games exists.”

“Of course.” Mina acknowledged.

The Games. It all came down to this. It was this that the future of all Dragon-kind now rested upon.

Two groups of dragons never recognized Ember’s reign; the first were the Old Guard, Dragon Lords or just average dragons, traditionalists and reactionaries who had accused her of weakening the dragons with her new ways, seeking to stop her and return to the old dragon ways of life – to destroy and plunder like barbarians, to live for violence and avarice, to be where the fittest, mightiest and the strongest survive and rule, and the weak crushed beneath them.

A great obstacle at first, their influence eventually crumbled, not that anyone liked them much to begin with; the younger dragons, those of her generation and after, abandoned them in droves for the new dragon society Ember sought to build, where they could be more than barbarians and live for more than plunder and violence. Some had come to see the light, changed their ways and joined her. The rest were all but swept aside when Tiamat and Bahumet, having been convinced of the merits of her goal, had ordained her the title of ‘Grand Dragon Lord’ to legitimize the process.

Then there was the Free Dragons.

Some dragons got sick and tired of the constant abuse of power by Dragon Lords, and their own obstinate fellow kind as they followed their draconic nature with sociopathic abandon. Dragontown of Fillydelphia had been the first; Ember’s father had never forgiven them for their insubordination, his grudging respect for Master Babylon, one of the chief architects, notwithstanding. Its success led to more being found within the borders of other realms across the world.

Even before she came to power, the other Dragon Lords had spoke disapprovingly of those Free Dragons and wished constantly to ‘bring them back under their wings’. Ember was inclined to agree with them. To Ember, they were no different from the dragons of the Old Guard, the ‘other end of the horseshoe’, as an Equestrian saying goes.

They spoke so highly of independence and will, but Ember believed that they would easily slip back into the old ways of excess again. And she feared that in living within other species’ borders, they would become dependent on the good-will of other races, becoming subordinate where EMber wanted them to stand tall.

She didn't hate them like the other Dragon Lords did; in fact, she had adapted some of their ideas herself, on her own terms. She felt they were merely misguided, like the Old Guard, and Ember wished to guide them back to where they belong, as she had done before to save Dragon-kind from its flaws.

And that’s where the Games became relevant.

Centuries ago she had nearly made war upon Griffonstone, once again restored to glory and rose greater still, when its Free Dragon community harboured a dragon which had wronged her flight, angrily accusing the Free Dragons, and the griffons, of complicity in that dragon’s crime.

King Bahumet himself flew in midst of the armies of the two nations, staring at one another on the verge of battle, and demanded her to stand down. Griffonstone was friendly to Equestria, and by association, it is also friendly to the dragons. And he made it abundantly clear, as he had to her father, he would not allow the dragons to attack their allies, even over this.

But that left a conundrum.

Dragons are free to live however they wish, doing what they want, when they want; so decreed Queen Tiamat. Ember had curbed the worst excess without TOO much infringement, that was why the dragon gods had allowed her to continue achieving her dream as much as she had. But that also allowed for Free Dragons to immigrate and form their communities, harbouring those who disagreed with the way she and the other lords were doing things.

Yet they had, technically, broken the unspoken conventions of Dragon-kind, built upon the Dragon gods’ decrees, with their insubordination against the Dragon Lords, their gods’ proxies among her children, and they had the right to place them back under their authority, in any way possible. And did the title of Grand Lord Ember possessed grants her authority, and mandate, over ALL dragons?

All these conflicting decrees, laws and spheres of authority contradicted one another, came to a head over this dispute, and reconciliation seemed difficult. While Dragon Lords like Ember’s father could and had change their minds, Divine Mandates, once given, cannot be so easily reversed; after all, gods cannot appear to contradict or second guess themselves, or their infallibility comes into question. And all present agreed settling them all in a court would be too troublesome to be bothered with.

That’s when someone came up with the idea of the Games.

The idea is simple: Dragons should be allowed to live, yet the Lords like Ember can enforce their rule. Both may contradict, but which one to follow can be decided by having the leaders on both side play a game.

Chess, go, checkers, O&O, even videogames; it didn’t matter what game was used. What mattered is that the leaders of both factions, headed by the Free Dragons community leaders on one end, and Ember and the other Dragon Lords on the other, play against one another in regular matches.

So long as the leaders of the Free Dragon communities continue to win every time, whenever they came to play, they could retain their independence.

But Ember could take all the time she needs; because if she or one of her subordinate wins, even once, by the rules of the Games, the community Free Dragons must submit to her authority without question. So decreed King Bahumet.

So far, Grand Dragon Lord Ember had been on the winning side of the equation. Each decade, more and more of the communities slip, their dragons returning to the Empire with a pardon, and a fresh start. And Ember herself, among the greatest generals, states-dragon and leaders ever produced by dragon-kind, had won most of these games.

Except against Mina.

Mina’s victory over her in every round of the Games so far had ensured Dragontown’s continued independence. Mina was the strongest player among the Free Dragons, and a well-respected leader among the Free Dragons; her advice had been invaluable to many other Free Dragon leaders still holding out. Ember had seen to face her off personally, and their rounds and their outcome had became so famous, they came to be synonymous with the Games and the struggle they represented.

Mina had won every time. But if she finally lost and Dragontown submits… it would be a catastrophic, if not fatal blow to the morale and hopes of the Free Dragons to stay independent. Ember had predicted that they would all give up and voluntarily submit to her authority within a century, even without the Games.

Their Game. The fate of all dragons decided.

Until that happened though, Ember wanted to try every other way. She decided upon another approach; she always hoped to reconcile this dispute peacefully.

“Must we always be in conflict, Mina?” Ember asked, dropping the formality, hoping it might defuse tension and make Mina more receptive to her points, “Our goals are not mutually exclusive. I never minded peaceful co-existence with other races, or building a functioning community where dragons could prosper and live in harmony, instead of stagnating in unchanging barbarism and cut-throat squabble. It was a dream we both share.”

“I know, Ember. And I know you are sincere about it.” Mina nodded in understanding, “But the way you did all of it… it scared us. All the blood you spilled; all the manipulations you made; was it truly worth it? Dragontown fears that if you would go this far to enforce your ideas, what would it truly be like to live under your rule?”

Ember shook her head. “I’m not proud of some of the things I did. And I always wished some hard choices I made didn’t have to be made at all.” She admitted, in a low voice, once again showing just how different she is from most Dragon Lords past “But it was all necessary for the greater good of dragon-kind.”

Mina raised an eye-lid.

“There is always a better choice.” Mina said, simply.

The moment of regret passed, and Ember’s eyes hardened with resolve. It was too late to turn back from the path she had chosen.

“And I choose the Games.”

Mina accepted this with a resigned nod. “So… what game do you want to play this time? A quick game of mah-jong, perhaps? I would like it if I could make it to that Holovid convention my son invited me to attend this afternoon.”

“Hopefully, it wouldn’t take long.” Ember assured. She didn’t want to drag this painful, if necessary deed out. It makes reconciliation difficult. “However, I would like to try something different.”

Ember opened her right claw. In a flash of arcane dragon fire, a small box (by dragon standards) appeared, and she presented it to Mina to inspect.

Mina’s large eyes widened when she recognized what it was. “Is that…?”

Ember nodded, “I suppose you’re familiar with it?”

Mina pulled her head back up and looked into her eyes. There was something in that gaze that has changed, Ember noticed; there was a glint of… uncertainty, behind that constant look of confidence.

“Well… I may had seen my grandfather played it once or twice with old friends. He taught me more than just Mah-jong.” Mina explained. “But actual play? Not so much. It never came up in game nights.”

Ember sense she was telling the truth, resisted the urge to give a feral grin. Her agents in Dragontown were on the money, it would seem; she knew virtually every game that could be played. Combining that familiarity with experience, natural cunning, and every claw of trickery that her grandfather had taught her, Mina had won every game.

But this was the one that she would be the least familiar with. This would be the game which she would have no experience or clever play that she could fall back on. This would be the game, at long last, would allow her to bring the dragons of Dragontown back into the fold.

After all, whereas Mina knew but never played, Ember happened to have spent the last century and a half playing it with her own children and relatives. This time, she had all the advantages.

This Game. It all came down to this.

If Mina felt any fear or dread, she didn’t show it. “I accept. Just give me fifteen minutes to refresh my memory, and we can play. Would you like some tea as well before we begin?”

“Of course.” Ember agreed, now allowing herself to smirk slightly.

With that, Mina lowered herself down back into the pit, to her lair, and Ember followed. The lid came to life once more, its gears grinding until it sealed itself shut again with a resounding crash of metal. The two dragon praetorians, left topside on Ember’s orders, stood guard attentively.

Slowly, one by one, the Free Dragons of Dragontown left their hiding places and looked over to where great drakinas had their banter. They were nervous, anxious, terrified, shuddering over the possible outcomes of the Game, and whether or not they would soon live under the Great Dragon Lord’s banner.

However it went, it would go down in history and legends as among the greatest of the Games, one which would be sung in sagas and remembered for countless generations to come.

Far in the distance, back in Fillydelphia proper, the resident ponies were quick to get back to their activities once more. They were used to her coming to play the Games by this point, so there’s nothing to it. Crowds dispersed, traffic resumed, and Fillydelphia returned to its bustling life.

Some will judge, others question, but if any one of these ponies had any opinion to this state of affairs, none voiced it, deciding it to be business they cannot, should not, interfere.

This was, after all, a game of Dragons.

  = = =

Session 25.1 Kichi

Time skip: X years in future

Princess Twilight was sitting in front of a table playing chess, it was not a surprise, as she managed to be one of the best players in Equestria just under her mentor Princess Celestia (she'd improved), and managed to win a couple of championships, but it seemed that this day was not her day.

"Spike, add it to the score," Said Twilight angrily as she seemed to be about to explode.

"Are you sure Twilight?" Asked Spike looking to her as she nodded. "Well... Okay... Twilight 0, Winning for 30 games, Flurry Heart, and to think it was supposed to be a normal day..." Say the dragon looking to the opponent of Princess Twilight.

That day began like any other day, Princess Flurry was visiting her auntie Princess Twilight by surprise, mainly thanks to Flurry's great reserves of magic that let her teleport from the empire to Ponyville without too much problem. Princess Flurry Heart liked to visit her to see some of the interesting books that her auntie usually read like that one about Vectorial Calculus, even if at first it was a little hard to understand, it was fun to read at the end. But that time was different, as she caught her auntie playing chess with cousin Spike, that got a little growth in those years, growing in a very handsome drake.

Of course, with her curiosity, Princess Flurry asked to play and Princess Twilight could not see a problem letting her niece play a little with her, that was her first error, the second error was taking it easy because she was a beginner and a filly, but after the game number ten, it was too late, the adult alicorn could not stop and even when at first the game was very hard for both, as the filly began to win more games, it seemed like she was getting bored and was more easier for her to win.

"Auntie, it's getting dark and daddy want me in the palace today because auntie Chrysalis and cousin Pupa are coming to play with Discord nii-chan," Moaned the little filly alicorn.

"One more game... Just one more game..." Say Twilight looking to Flurry to the eyes, with a smile, a maniacal smile.

"Auntie... You are beginning to scare me..." Muttered Flurry Heart.

Meanwhile, Spike yawned as he looked at that. "Sigh... I'll write Shining and Celestia... Again," groaned Spike.

Meanwhile, in the Crystal Empire

A green flame appeared suddenly with a message that Shining caught and begin to read.

"Twiley is again taking Flurry for extra time, it seems we are needed to take her," Commented Shining armor to his wife.

"Again? Sometimes I wonder if it was a good idea to let Flurry stay that much time with Discord, Sombra and Chrysalis as foalsitters," said Cadence.

Session 25.2 Richforce

Duel of Dishes (part 1)

Twilight, Rarity and Rainbow had stopped by Sugar Cube Corner to play a calm game of crazy eights with Pinkie Pie. Mrs. Cake had brought over some tea and scones as Pinkie looked over her cards. “Ok I play Two of Moon.”

The other girls groaned. “Not that tired old joke!” said Rarity.

“What I’m really playing the Two of Moon on the Princess of Moon.”

“Good,” said Rainbow. “I’ll play Eight of Friendship and change the suit to Sun.”

Suddenly a scream came from outside, everypony (and wolf) ran out to see a huge goat zapping buildings with his horns as the ponies panicked around him.

“I Grogar, after millennia of imprisonment in the Realm of Shadows have returned to this world and shall claim this land!”

“These fellows never learn do they?” said Rarity nonchalantly.

“I’ll take care of this,” said Twilight. She started to prepare a spell when her magic just gave out. “Huh?”

Grogar turned to the Alicorn Princess. “Thought you could just send me back to the Realm of Shadows?”

“Actually I was trying to banish you to Tartarus.”

“Either way it won’t work. My spell channels the use of all magic in the land through me! If you want to keep your peaceful lives and the sun and moon moving bow before me!”

Twilight was trying to think up a plan when Cupcake stepped right up to evil wizard. “So you’re the Grogar I heard from my family’s stories.

Grogar snorted. “Who dares speak to me in such a manner?"

“Cupcake, and yes I am a descendent of Cupcake of Paradise Estate.”

This gathered a gasp from Pinkie Pie. “But those ponies are legendary!”

“It’s not anything that special, my ancestor simply liked making and eating sweets but her stories were passed down and since the Paradise Estate ponies defeated Grogar I have the right to demand trial by combat to make him stop.”

Grogar snorted. “You think you can beat me in a fight?!”

“No, but the rules state that we can select a champion to fight in our place if they are willing to do so.”

Rainbow Dash stretched her wings. “Just leave him to me.”

Cupcake sighed. “Thank you but I don’t want anyone hurt, even him. I am picking Pinkie Pie as my champion and ask that this battle be settled by culinary combat.”

“Hahahaha!” said Grogar. “Culinary combat?! Do you think I’d let the fate of MY empire be determined in the kitchen?! It doesn’t matter you ponies probably replaced that outdated rule with arbitration. You better get serious about this or prepare to say goodbye to your family!”

“Wait!” said Twilight before teleporting away. She popped back a second later with an enormous book, opened it and started reading. “Article four, subsection five, paragraph B, Grogar is technically correct we did move on to arbitration since Celestia forbidden trials that could result in death or injury. The old law however still applies since it was never actually removed and Mrs. Cake asked for a non-violent manner of fighting. Culinary combat will decide this.”

“It seems my hooves are tied. Very well culinary combat it is. I shall except the challenge myself and oppose your chef, but if she loses you her and your family must all lay down your spatulas NEVER TO COOK AGAIN!”

“You can’t!” said Pinkie Pie. “Baking is what the cakes are all about! I can’t risk you or Mr. Cake or the twins…”

“I wouldn’t ask unless I knew you could do it,” said Mrs. Cake.

“The battle will take place in one week’s time,” said Grogar. “I will find a fitting venue and arbitrary judges to settle this. Make you peace in that time.”

Grogar gave mighty leap into the sky and was gone. Pinkie Pie turned to Mrs. Cake. “Are you sure about this? I know how to bake but…”

“Don’t worry,” said Cup Cake. “There’s an old cooking school friend of ours who owes Mr. Cake a favor and should improve your cooking skills. I assume you’ve heard of Emerald Grass?”

Rarity gasped. “The famous chef whose restaurants are the favorite of Equestrian high society?!”

“The same, but I good as he his I think Pinkie will bring just the thing those recipes will need to stop Grogar.”

Session 25.3 Mtangalion

Spike spread a stack of character sheets across the Cutie Map table, shuffling them around. "Let's try mixing things up a little! Hey Twilight, which character do you want to play?"

Princess Twilight sipped from a coffee mug, hooves jittering a bit. "Oh, any of them, really... just not the bard!"

Spike blinked. "Huh? Why not?"

AJ grinned. "Everypony raise yer hoof if ya think that's definitely the character Twi should play."

Twilight watched Dash, AJ, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity all raise their hooves. "But, I couldn't!"

"Um, yeah, you totally could," said Rainbow Dash. "It's called roleplaying. You can be a wizard any day of the week."

"But what if we were out on a quest, and I accidentally sang a song that became a huge pop hit?" fretted Twilight. "What if my bard became famous, and all of your characters got jealous? My fame might become a huge distraction, and completely give us away when we take stealth missions. What if I ruined the whole adventure!?"

Fluttershy slid calmly out of her throne, trotted around the table, and gave Twilight a big soothing hug. "Twilight... is there something you need to tell us?"

Outside the castle, Derpy flew past, tossing a copy of the Canterlot Times which bounced off the front door and rolled to a stop with the headline page face up. "'Sweeping' the Nation - Vinyl Scratch does it again! Sweep Sweep Sweep feat. Twilight is the new #1 hit!"

Session 25.4 Kendell2

(OOC: Note, I didn't change the name, because the franchise this is based on is owned by Hasbro.)

"So...what's this game called?" asked Rainbow Dash. The game board set up looked like an alien world...but all the game pieces seemed to be plastic rocks.

"Rock Lords..." said Maud Pie, who'd brought the game in. "It was my favorite toyline. I got 8-Bit to get the rights to make a game..."

"Okay..." said Rainbow Dash, everypony looking as confused as her (with the obvious exception of Pinkie Pie). "So...they're just rocks?"

"Powerful living rocks...from another planet...there are good rocks...who fight bad rocks..." Maud said in her typical way.

"Riiiiight..." Rainbow Dash said. "Simple enough..."

"Oh...and they do this..." she said, grabbing one and transforming it into a pony form that actually looked pretty cool.

The cyan pegasus blinked in confusion. "Admittedly, that's kinda awesome."

"This one's name is Boulder...he's Boulder's idol..." said Maud, putting Boulder next to Toy!Boulder. "...He's made of Tungsten...Magmar is made of Igneous..."

"...Magmar?" Rainbow Dash asked, seeming hesitantly interested.

"He's the bad guy..." Maud replied, picking one up and transforming it into a fairly intimidating pony form.

"...This reminds me of Discord's refrigerator..." Fluttershy admitted.

Fluttershy, visiting Discord's house in the dimension of chaos, tried to open the refrigerator to get some ice...only for it to transform into a robot a good head taller than her with double barreled shoulder cannons and cannons for front hooves. Fluttershy eeped as it looked down at her...then recoiled.

It transformed back, now with tank treads and a cartoony face on the front. "Apologizes Fluttershy. I didn't know it was use."

"...It's okay..."

"He said it was from Chineigh," Fluttershy explained, awkwardly.

"...Okay then..." Rainbow Dash replied. "Well, I'm okay with it."

"Alright..." Maud said. "...Boulder's hungry..." she said, picking up her pet rock and dropping him into her bowl of chips.

(OOC: Yes, the fridge thing is an actual thing. It's part of the 'Appliance Heroes' line: youtu.be/1r42ktMkRyg )

Session 25.5 Richforce

The time until the fated culinary combat had half elapsed and Pinkie Pie was sweating bullets.

Pinkie had only been in Chef Emerald Grass’ kitchen for two days and it was all just so much to learn. Nearby was a slightly chubby stallion in a chef’s coat and a green fur, his cutie mark was a jalapeno pepper cut in half by a large kitchen knife.

“Ok, the secret to good gumbo is okra, but since it is a Neigh Orleans dish you also need the holy trinity of Cajun cooking which is…?”

“Three parts onion, two parts celery and one bell pepper,” said Pinkie Pie.

“Bam!” said Emerald. “You are getting this stuff down! Emereald took a sip from a soup pinkie had simmering. “Nice, but you could kick it up a few notches if you added paprika.”

“Thank you, but I need something that will really wow everypony. Equestria and Sugar Cube Corner is at stake. Your friends may never bake again and the twins! What if they would want to bake someday but can’t because I failed?!”

“Calm down Pinkie. You and that creep will not know who you are cooking for until it is time. You just have to use what you know and do your best.”

“Still I’d like a recipe that would impress everypony. Something that when you see it you think ‘nothing could possibly be that tasty but then you take a bit and realize it tastes WAY better than it looks!”

“Fancy tricks and extravagant appearances are no substitute for pure clean flavor,” said an older pony who was carrying in crates full of spices.

“Nice to see you again Mr. Miso,” said Emerald. “Pinkie this is Miso Soup, the chef that taught me and the Cakes everything we know about cooking.”

Miso just opened up the crates and began unpacking. “I am no chef, not since the incident.”

“The incident?” asked Pinkie tilting her head.

“It was a long time ago. Back then I was the head chef at the Canterlot Palace and considered the finest cook in all of Equestira perhaps even the world. But I noticed that every year as the Summer Sun Celebration approached my princess wouldn’t smile from her heart, not even at the most scrumptious of my foods. I secretly learned about Princess Luna and of a cake that was created to celebrate their rule; the Sunrise, Moonrise Sister’s Surprise.

“I had thought for that year’s celebration I would revive the lost recipe and bring joy to our ruler’s heart and so mark myself as the greatest chef of all time. But in my arrogance I had made not just a cake fit for a princess but one for a city. Many chefs thought I was going too far, that such a monstrosity of a cake would collapse under its own weight. I thought I came up with some innovative solutions to the problem. But one turned out to be not so brilliant…”

+++

Celestia licked her lips in anticipation of the giant cake with pink and purple icing, casting a spell to light the giant candle on top. But as the flame caught on the wick Chef Miso remembered the tanks that were pumping pure oxygen into cake to keep it from falling.

“NOOOOOOOO!”

One massive sugary explosion later Canterlot and the surrounding countryside was splattered with the remains of the giant cake.

+++

“And so I went into a self-imposed exile, living the life of a lowly spice merchant only taking up the utensils of the trade when three eager and somewhat pushy foals begged me to teach them to cook. So you see ambition without clarity leads only to disappointment. A true chef doesn’t care if they are renowned, but if the food they make brings happiness to those they make it for.”

“So when you face that old goat get him out your head,” said Emerald. “What matters the smile on the faces of those you cook for.”

“Thank you Mr. Grass, Mr. Soup,” Pinkie bowing her head.

“I think that when the time comes she may be ready for this.” Miso Soup pulled out a single tiny vial filled with a clear liquid. “The ultimate spice, the essence of pure flavor. Just a few drops of this will bring out the best in any dish when used by a truly skilled chef.”

Pinkie took the vial. “How will I know if I’m ready?”

“When you are on that stage and facing the dark wizard, you’ll know.”

Session 25.6 Ardashir (Note: This idea is based on a magic item and spell that actually exists in one game system I know of.)

"So..." CEO Sombra said to the smiling employee before him. He frowned. Something about this man looked entirely too familiar. "How long have you worked for my company?"

"Since it was Ms. Rabia's company, sir," Kabuto looked wistful. "I was a main designer on some of her best games. Cupcakes, Rainbow Factory, Sweet Apple Massacre..."

"Don't remind me," Sombra shuddered. There were times he regretted buying his mother's stock out. But not when he was reminded about those games. "You say you came up with something new for the Horsecraft game, Mister - Kabuto, is it?"

"That I have, sir," Kabuto smiled, his eyes seeming to bulge from their sockets behind the heavy lenses of his glasses. "I noticed that the gamers have complained about the inability to change their race in the game, the loss of their powers and wealth and all the rest."

"Yes, yes," Sombra said. "They complain about everything, so why not that as well? But as long as they keep paying for new characters and gear..."

"That's just it, sir," Kabuto interrupted. He hurried as his boss's eyes began to blaze. "They're leaving for other games! I came up with a way that would work in the setting to allow them to change their race and keep everything they paid for."

"We helped!"

Both Sombra and Kabuto turned and glared as three new interns came into the room. They smiled obsequiously at their employer and shot dirty sidelong glares at Kabuto.

"Ah yes," Sombra said. "Miss Decepticolt, Goldcap, and Zappityhoof, is it not? Very well, so you helped Kabuto." His brow darkened. "Helped him do what?"

"Create this!" Kabuto said, setting down the small laptop he held. It showed one of the players, an Earth pony, approaching a pegasus. Somehow, the Earth pony got an evil smile on their face as a small box popped up reading, 'You wish to become a pegasus. Do you wish to use your Recorporeal Incarnation amulet?' A price tag appeared along with it. Sombra's eyes widened.

"That... is a respectable amount of cash. But what is this -- WHAT!"

The pegasus exploded into a small red ball of mist that raced over to the Earth pony. It enveloped her, and when it settled she was now a pegasus. The new-made pegasus took to the air.

Sombra blinked. "Did... that one pony just blow the other one up and put them on like a suit??"

"Well, yes," Kabuto said, he and his assistants standing proudly. Sombra stared at them in disbelief. "Oh, don't worry sir! It's not permanent, though we don't tell the player that. If they want to stay their new species, they have to do a new quest to hunt down and, well, subsume a new pony of the desired race in a month or so. And it costs as much as the first one." Kabuto leered, looking ghoulish. "Any player desperate enough to do this in the first place will keep coming back for more."

"And we can make it even more popular!" Goldcap said, a manic grin on her face. "All we have to do is spread the rumor in-game and on the message boards that this is how alicorns get their power, and that eventually ponies who do it often enough will get the powers permanently. Not that they ever will, but gamers will do anything to get a power boost."

Sombra looked at his four employees. "So... let me understand this. Your idea for keeping people playing a light-hearted adventure game without losing their old characters is to start selling a magic item that allows them to commit murder and wear their dead victim's skin?"

Kabuto conferred with his three assistants before turning and saying with a huge smile on his face, "A bit crudely worded, but... yes! So when will it be put into the game?"

"An' when do we get our pay bonus?" Decepticolt muttered.

Sombra just smiled.

"I threw them out, Mister Sombra, sir. You need me for anything else?"

"No, no, Iron Will. Just keep an eye on the rest of the security guards and never let those four lunatics back in the building again."

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 25.0 BrutalityInc
(This came to me out of nowhere, and the inspiration like a hammer thrown by the gods. Ideas just came pouring out, and I was driven to write them. I spent most of the week working on it, risking my job while at it (Not that I mind being fired by this point. I wasn't very good at it anyways). It might.... cause a fuss, given the liberal interpretation of the content of some past entries, and mixed with it my personal headcanon, so bear with me if certain parts don't sit well with you.)
(I don't think I'll be writing the second part, given I have no idea what game they could play with, or had the talent/skill to write Ember and Mina's epic game of dragons in a quality that would do it. I'll leave it here for anyone to write a Part II continuation. Also Alex, please don't paste the opening and closing disclaimers in-text)

Session 25.1 Kichi (I got the idea and I could not stop.... Also I got the image suddenly of "The kindest of lies" and the others playing a game just like Twilight and the others. or maybe joining them, but I know I can't give them justice so I comment it to see if maybe you like the idea.)
Session 25.2 Richforce
Session 25.3 Mtangalion
Session 25.4 Kendell2
Session 25.5 Richforce
Session 25.6 Ardashir

Cover art by Iguanodragon

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Session 26

Session 26.0 Kendell2

"So...Your hive only comes out of hiding once every 17 years?" Twilight asked, sitting at a game of Crystals and Rainbows 3.5 with Empress Black Rose and another Changeling Queen. This one with orange wings and red eyes.

The Queen, named Cicada nodded. "Yes, thus is our way."

"What do you do while you're underground?" Twilight questioned curiously.

"We feed off Equestria's ambient love, we're a very low energy hive and don't need much," she explained, giving a smile. "I have Long Dreamer ask Minty what she missed while she was sleeping."

Rainbow Dash jumped as the sound of extremely loud partying once more picked up outside. "Low energy, huh?"

"Why do you think we emerge at all?" Cicada asked. "You try not wanting to spread your wings a bit when you get to come out."

Outside, Cheese Sandwich and Pinkie Pie were partaking in a giant party with a hive of Changelings, which Ponyville had just became used to enough to roll with it. Kevin was just happy to get to hang out with benign Changelings.

"Besides, massive parties generate a lot of ambient love when you invite popstars," Cicada explained.

"I'm just glad I get to have fun with Cadie given how little I see her," Empress Black Rose said, nuzzling her daughter. "It's a shame Chryssy wouldn't come. I wonder why."

Chrysalis looked at the party invite from Pinkie Pie...then torched it. "No way, my sister's hive is more annoying than that dancing pink abomination we got locked in here with for months..."

"I'm...sure it's nothing too bad," Twilight replied, then cleared her throat. "Minty replies you missed meeting Princess Rarity and everypony becoming Princesses."

(OOC: I admit, this idea is silly. I just couldn't get this idea out of my head with Cicadas coming out this year and it mutated into the idea of a Changeling hive that feeds off of ambient love and only emerges once every 17 years for EXTREMELY loud partying.)

Session 26.1 Kichi

Twilight decided to visit Fluttershy, as she missed last night game and was worried but when she opened the door to her hut she was surprised by a scene.

In front of Twilight, sit in a perch, was her owl, Owlowiscious, but that was not the strange thing, the strange was that he was holding a screen as a DM and he was not alone, in a table, Angel Bunny was checking the dices and smoking from a cigar, Tank was looking to them, Opal and Winona sit together waiting with little pieces of them and looking to Pinkie Pie alligator Gummy. There was also Fluttershy that was taking drinks and food from everyone and replacing them.

"Fluttershy?" Asked confused Twilight.

"Oh, Hi Twilight, sorry I didn't call you, today was busy as you can see," commented Fluttershy with a smile.

Session 26.2 Mtangalion (OOC: Here's another one for the queue. :) )

Voices echoed from the far side of the mirror portal, making rainbow colors ripple around the edges.

"Um, Dash? It's a statue. Tell me I didn't drive all this way to see some lame statue."

"The statue isn't what's awesome." A cyan pegasus emerged from the mirror, still tugging on something on the other side. It's what's *in* the statue!" She yanked again and tumbled to the crystal floor, pulling a griffon out of the mirror after her.

"What the hell, Dash?" Gilda shook herself and tried to stand upright on her lion paws. "Wha... whoa!" She fell to all fours, then lifted her left foreleg and flexed her talons in front of her face, shocked. Then she tried to squint at her own beak, opened a wing, and turned in circles trying to see it better.

Dash grinned smugly at her, showing off her own wings.

"Oh my gosh," gasped Gilda. "We turned into our World of Horsecraft characters! We're inside the game!"

Dash blinked. "Er, not exactly. I mean, kinda yes, kinda no! They do play a lot of games here, but..."

Gilda stumbled over to a balcony and threw the doors open wide, gaping at the town below and the colorful landscape. "But we're in Equestria! That is totally Ponyville out there. Huh, it looks weird. I'm gonna check it out!"

"Gilda, wait!" yelled Dash, but the griffon was already out the window, flying rather ungracefully, but not bad at all considering it was the first time she'd actually flown.

"Check out these graphics!" yelled Gilda, clipping a tree, then swooping too low over a street crowded with ponies. "Heh, my bad. Man, tell me somebody knocked me out and stuck VR goggles on my face, cause this is just too intense!" She took a deep breath and busted out a real live griffon roar. "Look at me, you dweebs! Hah, I'm flying! With my wings! Cause griffons are awesome like that!"

She heard a sound like a shrieking falcon, a few seconds before another griffon dove out of the clouds, hovering in front of her. "Hey, what gives?" groused the native Gilda. "Disguising yourself as me and making a fool of yourself is *not* cool." She grabbed the other Gilda and tried to peer into her mouth. "C'mon, who's in there? Wolfy? Pinkie Pie? Bug boy?"

"Back off!" rasped the other Gilda, pushing her away. "Wait a sec... where's your armor?" She did a double-take. "Where's *my* armor? Gah, I'm naked!"

The native Gilda faceclawed. "I swear, if that's you, Discord, we're gonna have a little chat with your parole pony!"

"Where's my inventory?" demanded the other Gilda. "What happened to all my gold!? You, you look just like me! You must be one of those hackers, tryin' to steal my World of Horsecraft account!" She posed dramatically. "Furious Charge!" Nothing happened. "Rending Warcry! Eegh!"

The native Gilda snickered. "Ya gonna try casting Magic Missile on me too?" The other Gilda punched her in the beak. "Okay, that's it!!"

By now, Twilight's friends had heard there was trouble and come running or flying, but they seemed to be at a loss, watching Gilda fight a pitched battle against... herself? The other Dash landed beside them, wincing. "Yeah, maybe I didn't think this through."

"Rainbow Dash, not thinking something through?" said Rarity. "Perish the thought."

The two Gildas went crashing and tumbling to the ground, smashing right through a wooden cart parked next to the castle entrance. Then they launched themselves skyward and repeatedly collided in midair, like something out of Eternal Dragon Fighters.

Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rarity all cringed, folding their ears in unison at an impact that sent loose feathers flying.

Pinkie planted a red flag with two crossed swords on the lawn, then watched with wide eyes. "Oooh. Griffons are scary when they're not holding back... much."

The native Rainbow Dash landed next to her twin. "Well, yeah. How did you think Griffonstone got so beat up?"

The other Dash gasped, then coughed, trying to play it cool. "So, uh... hey, other me. How's it going?"

"It's going awesome!" said the native Dash. "That was a trick question, right?" They high-hoofed each other.

"My shipment of rare journals from Canterlot!" shrieked Twilight Sparkle, galloping up to the smashed cart. Brilliant purple bubbles seized two protesting Rainbow Dashes and two bruised and tired and still hissing Gildas, forcibly separating them. Twilight took several deep breaths, failing to calm down. "Okay. Which of you do I toss back into the portal before I board it up?"

"I'll get the paint!" said Pinkie Pie cheerfully.

Session 26.3 Mooncalf99

Twilight gazed attentively at the checkered black-and-white board and its many carved wooden pieces, and her heart brimmed with confidence and enthusiasm. Chess really was her game; logical, intellectual and sound. It was definitely the thinking pony's game. They were several moves into the game, and had reached the point where she could put her brilliant mind to work; forming strategies, predicting her opponent's moves, setting up contingencies. She disliked stories where a character was established as a genius by predicting their victory before even the first move (as literally any possible game could be derived from that point, and nopony could possibly keep that much information in their brain without losing their mind completely), but once you moved past a certain threshold the game would find its direction, and she could work from there. Very few ponies could keep pace once she took control of the game. 
Of course, her opponent for the day wasn't like most ponies. She was… unconventional, to say the least.

 After some more consideration, Twilight moved one of her pawns ahead another step, breaking out of formation. Immediately her opponent swooped across the board with a bishop to claim the exposed piece… and Twilight took that out with her knight.

 "No!" Trixie protested. "I didn't see that one, Twilight."

 "Didn't you yourself say that the knight is unpredictable, before?" Twilight retorted, allowing herself a victorious grin.

 "Hmph," Trixie muttered, shifting a pawn ahead. Judging from the lineup, she didn't have much of a strategy going - just advancing in the hopes that Twilight might slip up at some point, probably. Typical defensive playing. Which meant that Twilight just had to maintain the offense. Still, that didn't mean she could take it easy.
 Chess was definitely Twilight's game, and it definitely wasn't Trixie's. Sure, she was a passably able player, but Twilight left her in the dust. Her forte was mahjong, which employed a different kind of thinking, and Twilight would respectfully admit that their positions were reversed there.

 "I'm a little surprised that you wanted to play chess against me again," Twilight admitted, moving one of her rooks to the left side, where it seemingly had no purpose. The key word being seemingly. "After all, I keep winning. Wouldn't you prefer something where we're more evenly matched? Checkers? Scrabble? Buffalo Poker? Grabby Grabby Griffons?"

 "Didn't Gilda throw your copy of that game into a fire?" Trixie asked. "Anyway, I'm enjoying this. I'm fine with losing."

"You're fine with losing?" Twilight asked disbelievingly. "Should I check for impersonation magic? Brainwashing?"

 "Har de har har," Trixie retorted, rolling her eyes. She took another pawn with her knight, unwittingly walking into another of Twilight's pitfalls. "Are we on the stage now? Is my reputation on the line? No. We're just playing a friendly game, and you're a master. There's no shame in losing against a master. Besides, I enjoy seeing you this enthusiastic, giving your all. You can be so passionate when you try. Besides, we don't really spend much time together. Not alone like this."

 "Uh, okay?" Twilight said uncertainly. What is she implying? Is she… no, she can't be… She was suddenly struck by a realization.

She's playing a mind game. Trying to get me out of balance so I'll mess up, huh? Nice try!

 "So… how does it feel to have a student of your own now?" Twilight asked, shifting the topic to a favorite of Trixie's. Perhaps this way, she'd be too distracted to try cheap tricks.

 "You mean Ember?" Trixie said, her voice suddenly filled with pride and joy. "Oh yes, she's shaping up well. At first she seemed like just another Badlands dragon, arrogant and thick headed, but she turned out to be a lot more clever. After she accepted that the Great and Powerful Trixie was a worthy teacher, that is."

 Twilight moved her bishop into the center, where Trixie's rook could threaten it. Will she take the bait? Or will she spot the trap, avoid it, and walk into a different one? "That was when you knocked her out somehow, correct?"

 "I may have overestimated her resilience against my full mahjong power," Trixie admitted. "Still, Uncle said that some students must be humbled before they can learn. She wouldn't have accepted who I was if I'd just told her, after all."

"Trixie, being a good mahjong player doesn't give you superpowers," Twilight pointed out.

 Trixie laughed. "It's so cute when you think you know everything."

One week earlier…

 "Determination is of essence," Trixie declared to her students. "When you hold a tile in your hoof… or, in your case, claw… you decide if you want to keep it, or discard it. But once your mind is made up, you must not! Not! Try to change your mind! If it's discarded, it is gone! Cleared from your thoughts! Do not regret, do not doubt, do not linger on the thought that you should have kept it! Do you doubt yourself, Ember?"

 Ember, sitting on the opposite side, shook her head vigorously. "Never!"

 "Never?" Trixie inquired.

 "Never… teacher," Ember amended.

 "Good!" Trixie said. She drew a tile from the wall, and discarded it. "Three-Sou. Spike, what have I said about letting your opponent read you?"

 "Uh… don't?" Spike ventured. Mina, sitting across from him and to Trixie's left, giggled.

 "And yet you give yourself away," Trixie said. "You're waiting on two separate Sou, because when I discarded one, your eyes immediately darted to the left, where you keep them. Correct?"

 "Uh…" He chewed on his lip nervously. "...yeah."

 "And you're hoarding a single white dragon, because your left claw twitched when Ember discarded one earlier, because you wanted to take it even though you couldn't," Trixie continued. "And because you think they're pretty."

 He faceclawed. "Jeez, am I that transparent?"

 "I think it's cute," Mina said with a big smile. "So you like white dragons, huh? Should I tell Rarity?"

 "Aaah! No!" Spike's eyes shrank to pinpricks. "Mina, don't. Please!"

 Ember looked at Trixie with appreciation. "Ponies are more able than I first thought, in many ways. Still, it's to be expected of the student of Master Babylon, ruler of Dragontown."

 Mina let out a sharp laugh. "Grandpa? Ruling Dragontown? Have you been eating fluorite? He's got better things to do."

 "Well, who else has the influence to do it? Not you, surely?" Ember protested.

 Mina faceclawed. "No dragon rules Dragontown. The flaming point of Dragontown is to not have rulers. Is it that difficult for you to understand? I mean…"

 "Mina," Spike said suddenly. "Stop being a jerk."

 "Huh?" Mina asked. "I'm not--"

 "Yeah, you kinda are," he insisted. "You keep bugging her. Look, I know you got off on the wrong foot, and she's not like most dragons you know, and there's the whole Dragon Lord business, but Ember's my friend and so are you and this isn't very cool."

 "But… but…" Mina paused. "Yeah, I guess you're right…"

 "I don't like it either," Ember admitted. "I started it, too. That was…" She searched for the right words. "...not very cool of me?"

 "I suppose we could get over it," Mina suggested. "I'm stilling not bowing to you, though."

 "I'll accept that for now," Ember said.

 "Fair's fair, you all weren't the only ones acting stupid 'cuz of those sirens," Spike said. He grinned at Trixie.  "Right?"

 "That's for sure," Trixie said with a grimace. "Still, you enjoyed it, didn't you, Spike? Three pretty dragon girls fighting for the right to be your girlfriend? Must've been nice."

 "'Girlfriend'?" Ember asked in confusion.

 "Yeah, uh, I'm no pony, Trixie," Mina said nervously, in the tone of someone having to explain the birds and the bees to their own kid. "I'm like, whoa! So not ready to even think about making eggs. You know?"

 "Yes, I'm not… uh…" Ember swallowed embarrassedly. "Not of age yet either. Besides, I have more important things to do."

 "Oh, right, weird dragon physiology," Trixie said, rolling her eyes. "Wait, does that mean at least Rarity…" She thought for a moment and then shook her head. "Eh, never mind. So what was with that whole fight? Why'd you want Spike so badly?"

 "Uh, because I wanted to have him?" Mina said. "Duh."

 "Yes, obviously," Ember agreed. "He's interesting and different from other dragons and knows about friendship. He's valuable to me. So I wanted to have him for myself."

 "So just dragon greed, then?" Trixie suggested. "Hmm, I guess that makes a lot more sense…"

 "Yeesh, I hate when that gets the best of me," Spike said with distaste.

 "More reason to play mahjong, though?" Mina said. "Grandpa says it teaches better control, after all."

 "On that point…" Trixie intoned. "Tsumo."

 "Uh?" Spike said. "Oh! We were playing! Heh, eh-heh, I kinda forgot."

 "So whatcha got, Trixie?" Mina asked.

 "Menzen Tsumo," Trixie declared, revealing her tiles. Three five-Pin, three red dragons, three white dragons, three green dragons, and two east winds. "Also triple Yakuhai, Hon Itsu, San An Kou, and Dai Sangen. That's eight Yaku and one Yakuman."

 "Sweet superdickery, that's gotta be a lot of points," Mina said. Then she blinked in surprise. "Hang on just one fillysecond! I had three green dragons!" She dug through her own tiles quickly. "Where did this junk come from?"

 "I had a concealed kan of red dragons," Ember said in confusion.

 "And I had two white dragons!" Spike said.

 Trixie tapped her hooves together and smiled. "And so we learn the most important lesson of the game: Pay attention to the game!" She knocked over the remaining wall and began shuffling. "Oh, and stop being so attached to the dragon tiles, all of you. You're predictable."

 Present day…

 "I still can't get over how they let you get away with cheating," Twilight said. "Or how you managed to do that without magic."

"It was an object lesson in playing," Trixie said blithely. "And besides, dragons respect cunning and aren't quite so brutish all the time. Unlike some ponies I could mention."

 Twilight paused in mid-move. "What do you mean?"

 "Oh, you know what I mean," Trixie said pointedly. "I still have those unpaid hospital bills."

 "Oh… right." Twilight facehoofed. "I overreacted, okay? I said I was sorry."

 "No, you actually never did," Trixie corrected. "But I'll forgive you if you take care of the bills. Contrary to popular conception, being a traveling showpony doesn't really bring in that much money."

 "I'll talk to the hospital later," Twilight promised. "And I really am sorry about that. Now, can we just play?"

 "Of course!" Trixie took her bishop and claimed Twilight's queen. "Hah! I may not have high chances of winning, but at least I took your queen! That'll make the game harder for you, won't it?"

 "I've told you, I don't have any emotional attachment to my queen," Twilight chided with a wide grin. "But now that your bishop is out of the way…" She slid her rook two steps to the left, putting it on the same row as Trixie's king. "Check. And Mate. Good game, Trixie."

 "Mate?" Trixie asked. "I could just move my king--"

 "Except it's penned in on the left side, and my king is on the right," Twilight said gleefully. She was really satisfied with this trap; Trixie had walked right into it, every overcomplicated step of the way. "If you try to move any way to the right, you get adjacent to it, and that's an illegal move."

 "True…" Trixie raised her king as if to move it anyway. "Except that's not your king. Discord, you can come out now."

 "What?" Twilight blinked. She blinked again. Did… Discord? Did they replace my king with him? Did she… did they… "Oh, no, no, no. You have got to be kidding me!" She snatched the offensive piece off the board. "You do not get to ruin the plan I spent half an hour setting up, Discord! You hear me? No!" Then she threw the piece in the air and shot it with a burst of magic strong enough to give even him a nasty sting.

 Little burnt wooden shards rained down around them.

 "Huh," Trixie mused. "Maybe that wasn't actually Discord."

"Eh?" Twilight asked, dumbfounded.

 "It appears that you don't have a king on the board, Twilight," Trixie observed. "I'm assuming that Trixie wins by default. Good game."

 "Eh?" Twilight asked again.
 Trixie patted her on the head gently. "I'll let myself out. See you next week, Twilight." And then she walked away.

 "Eh?" Twilight asked.

 Three seconds passed.

 And then she banged her head against the table. "TRIXIE!"

Meanwhile, in Fluttershy's cottage…

 Discord froze, half-drunken teacup against his mouth. "Huh. I felt a sudden disturbance… as though somepony took advantage of my name and reputation to cause chaos."

 "Is that bad?" Fluttershy asked.

Discord laughed and hugged her tightly. "My dear, I couldn't be happier!"

Session 26.4 Alex Warlorn

'I will not turn Trixie into a chess piece for revenge. I am not Discord. I will not turn Trixie into a chess piece for revenge. I am not Discord. I will not turn Trixie into a chess piece for revenge. I am not Discord. I will not turn Trixie into a chess piece for revenge. I am not Discord. I will not turn Trixie into a chess piece for revenge. I am not Discord. I will not turn Trixie into a chess piece for revenge. I am not Discord. I will not turn Trixie into a chess piece for revenge. I am not Discord. I will not turn Trixie into a chess piece for revenge. I am not Discord. I will not turn Trixie into a chess piece for revenge. I am not Discord. I will not turn Trixie into a chess piece for revenge. I am not Discord.' Twilight calmly told herself over and over again. 'I won't asked Trixie if she wants some up close and personal chess lessons, get her to sign a waver, and turn her into a chess piece for an afternoon as I play a game as Sunset. I will not use her book entering spell to appear on her game pieces as a prank. I will not turn her into a chess set as revenge.' Twilight thought to herself over and over.

Later that night...

Trixie awoke from her bed as a giant floating form of the chess king Trixie had tricked Twilight into blowing up appeared before her. Except it looked now like a zombie on fire, always smoldering, pieces of it gone and other creaking and cracking.

"YOU!!!! YOU!!!" It pointed a burned wooden hoof at her. "YOU!!! You have done this to me! You have made my queen a widow! You have left my subjects with their king!" There was the weeping chess queen their weeping subjects.

Trixie found herself the size of a chess pieces, and fell, landing on the board and was flanked by the two knights, looking rather angry with her.

"You shall PAY!!!" the giant wooden zombie chess king zapped Trixie, and...

Trixie is a chess piece. Trixie is a happy chess piece. Trixie existed to be played with. Trixie is king. Trixie shall rule over the land. Trixie Shall stand there and look pretty as the gods decide the next move.

"Uh, Princess, should you help the unicorn whose having the chess cheating guilt dream?" Asked Echo politely of his princess.

"In a minute, Twilight is having the quesadillas nightmare again... Diamond Tiara is running from a mountain sized dragon that looks like her mother again. And I need to keep Princess Flurry Heart's dreams from breaching the quantum state again. And Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich are having shared dreams again, need to make sure they don't spill over into other ponies' dreams... again."

"Who what cute little chesspieces! Wonder what they taste like!" Said Baby Pinkie Pie as she began using chess piece Trixie as a sucker.

"Like that. Oh well, Princess Luna to the rescue." Princess Luna appeared in the dream as a nanny. "Bad baby, don't use boastful chess pieces as pacifiers, you don't know where they've been."

"Sorry..." She pulled the chess king Trixie out of her mouth, covered in baby Pinkie slobber.

-

Trixie awoke from her dream wondering if it might be in good taste to apologize for Twilight for her prank way of winning yesterday.

Princess Twilight knocked on the door of Trixie's gypsy cart. "Good morning Trixie, sleep well?"

"Not... precisely. Twilight... I... am sorry if my prank yesterday was over the line."

"It's alright Trixie, consider it mostly forgotten. Here's something for you."

"What's this?" Trixie looked at the note.

"The rest of your hospital bill, I paid most of it. I deducted however the price of that antique chess set from yesterday that is now in smoldering shards."

"Oh.... Can Trixie entertain you for an afternoon?"

"My niece is always in need of a fresh foalsitter."

"Oh dear."

"Don't worry, it's not like she can atomize you with a sneeze, anymore."

Session 26.5 Alex Warlorn

"BAM! BAM! BAM!" Baby Flurry Heart giggled, slamming Tixie into the floor.

Then Trixie dared take her Pinkie Pie plushie from her.

Baby Flurryheart thought, 'Me no like you, what me no like goes to the corn field!'

Trixie faded from existence....

And reappeared in a seemingly endless crystal corn field.

"Hey!" Sunburst happily waved sitting next to her.

"Ugh. Where am I? How does Trixie get out of here?"

"Get out? There is no way ooooooout!!" Sunburst boomed ominously. Then laughed and shrugged. "No seriously, the exit's right over there." He pointed with his horn. Trixie walked out and found she was really just down the street from the castle.

Session 26.6 Kendell2

"RARR!" roared the gigantic, fearsome purple dragon, standing between the brave twin knights and the castle.

Princess Flurry Heart, in the proper attire for a Princess stuck in a castle would wear, screamed, stuck in the tower of a gigantic, ominous looking castle.

With a war cry, good Sir Pound Cake and his sister, the brave Lady Pumpkin Cake, charged on their horse, swords drawn at the dragon.

Spike made cliche growling nooses as the Cake Twins harmlessly swung paper rolls at him, Princess Flurry Heart sitting on a building block castle, all three babies making the happy noises one would expect from a baby imagining a gigantic fantasy story in their minds alone.

Session 26.7 Ardashir

Flurry Heart went through foalsitters with amazing speed. Cadence and Shining Armor would return from their duties to find yet another traumatized pony begging to be permitted to flee their gleeful daughter. Once they were freed of whatever transformation their laughing daughter had subjected them to.

Finally they got desperate.

"Er, thanks for allowing us to return to Equestria. We were starting to get tired of that world with the humans." Adagio, currently in a pony-like form along with her two sisters, told Cadence and Shiny. Aria watched Sonata as she played with little Flurry Heart, who squealed with joy as Sonata did the 'Who's There?' game with her. "So... we just keep her happy for a few hours, and we become free citizens of Equestria again?"

"That's right," Cadence said. She smiled at her daughter. "Just keep her happy, clean her, feed her, and we'll give you a royal pardon after we return."

"If you're still here -- ow!" Shining Armor rubbed his right front fetlock as he trotted out after his wife.

"What was that supposed to mean?" Adagio muttered as they left.

Aria meanwhile trotted over to Sonata and Flurry Heart. She looked into the crib and frowned. "Wow, that is one ugly foal. At least she'll end up smarter than you one day, Sonata."

No sooner did the words leave her mouth than the milk in Flurry's bottle sprayed at her face. Aria spluttered and gasped as Flurry laughed.

"Look what that brat did to me!" Aria shook herself.

"I don't blame her," Sonata sniffed, her muzzle high. "You said something nasty about her. She likes it better when you play games with her." She turned and hid her face behind her hooves again. "Where's Auntie Sonata? Here she is!"

Flurry Heart burbled laughter. Then she reached for her bottle, noticed it was empty, and began to cry.

"Great." Adagio rolled her eyes."She's hungry. She's not a sea pony or siren, we can't feed her fish or seaweed... What do lander brats eat? Something that comes from a bottle -- not that!"

She frowned at Sonata and gave her a nasty bite along the neck. Sonata yelled and Adagio smirked.

"That got your attention. You're the foal expert, go and get her something to drink - OW! I'm sorry, kid! I'm sorry!" She flailed wildly in mid-air, held tightly in Flurry's magic grip. VERY. TIGHTLY. "Put me down! I won't misbehave again! YAAA!"

The shivering Adagio settled to the floor. Flurry's horn glowed again and Sonata found her muzzle pressed against Adagio's neck.

"Oh!" Sonata said. "You want me to do this, huh?" Sonata clamped her teeth down on Adagio's neck hard enough to bring a howl of pain from the siren, and a howl of laughter from Flurry Heart.

"I think she likes it when you two get hurt." Sonata smiled down at the little foal. Adagio and Aria cringed back against the wall in terror as Sonata asked, "Awww! What else would you like to see me do to them?"

Hours later.

Cadence and Shining Armor returned to find Sonata giving Flurry Heart a pony ride around the room. The little alicorn filly whooped with glee as Sonata mock-reared and whinnied.

"So..." Cadence said, taking her daughter from the siren, but not before permitting Flurry to give her foalsitter a hug. Flurry promptly went to sleep. "Everything's okay? No permanent trauma -- not that there would be?"

"We got along great!" Sonata said. She almost danced for joy. "We played all sorts of games; I even won once or twice. I like Flurry Heart."

"That's great," Shining Armor smiled at his daughter. "Wait, where are your two sisters?"

"Mistress Sonata?" Two voices said at once. Adagio and Aria entered the room, dressed like clowns, and tried standing on their heads -- only to fall and lay on the floor, eyes rolling as they gasped out. "Shall we entertain you and Mistress Flurry Heart again?... Please say no."

"No, I'm good," Sonata said. Her sisters smiled, the smiles freezing on their faces as she said, "We need rest for tomorrow. Princess Cadence is going to be leaving the Crystal Empire for a whole month; we'll get to play with Flurry every day!"

Session 26.8 Mtangalion

"You know, this is all your fault," grumbled Gilda.

"My fault!?" squawked the other Gilda, the one who was normally human and a senior at Griffonstone High. She winced, glaring at the bandages wrapped around her midsection. "In what way was that my fault?"

The two griffons were sharing a room at Ponyville General Hospital, curled up on separate beds. The windows were open, letting in plenty of fresh air and sunlight and cheerful birdsong, but that wasn't improving their mood much.

"You started it."

"Well, you asked for it! Ugh, this sucks. Can't we just drink a potion or have somebody cast a heal?"

The native Gilda snarled, grinding her beak. "Look, get this through your skull. We are not in a game! This is real life!"

The other Gilda snerked. "Says the girl who lives in magical talking pony land."

"Hey, hey!" The native Gilda tried to spread her wings dramatically, and winced in pain. "I'll have you know this is magical talking *griffon* land. Those lame ponies only run the place because they've got demigoddesses and magic and all that."

"Cheaters."

"Heh, you said it..."

Nurse Redheart trotted into the room, two manila folders in hoof, only doing a mild double-take at the identical griffons. "You're our more frequent visitor, correct?" she asked the native Gilda. "You're free to go."

"Yes!" whooped Gilda.

"Just take it easy and avoid strenuous activity and flying for a couple of days." She moved over to the other Gilda. "However, we'd like to keep your 'twin sister' overnight for observation."

"Aw, no way!" whined the other Gilda. "You mean, she beat me up more than I beat her up?"

The native Gilda grinned smugly, puffing her feathers up. "Any time you want a rematch..."

Nurse Redheart smiled politely. "You do have some scratches and deep bruising, miss."

The other Gilda buried her face in a pillow. "But I can't just laze around here! I've got classes on Monday!"

"Also, a number of blows to the head and a pulled wing muscle."

"Lady, I won't even have wings when I get home!"

Nurse Redheart twitched. "Just... relax, and everything will be fine." She patted the other Gilda on the shoulder soothingly, then deftly removed her hoof before Gilda could peck it.

Someone else barged into the room just as Nurse Redheart was leaving... a handsome young male griffon with large wings. "Gilda!" he blurted out, spotting the one that was bandaged up first. "Are you..." He coughed and cleared his throat, then spoke more calmly, pitching his voice lower. "You're Gilda, aren't you? I heard something about a big fight, and I... you know, wondered if you were okay..."

"You," growled the native Gilda. Only then did the male griffon realize there were two of them, comically looking back and forth. "Yeah, I remember you. You put on that little show outside the castle window, and then you were gone before I got there." She looked to her double. "You want to play with him? Knock yourself out."

The male griffon blinked. "Wait... what?"

The other Gilda was stalking him, tail swaying and pain seemingly forgotten. "You are *totally* hot, in ways I can't even describe right now." She pounced, cooing and purring. "I wonder what kinda hot guy you'd be back in my world..." The male griffon was obviously liking the attention, from the way he was purring back, even if he was confused as heck.

"You fledglings have fun," said the native Gilda, hopping out of her bed. "Seeya tomorrow, maybe?" She left their room without bothering to shut the door and padded away down the hall.

"Yo!" squawked the other Gilda from back in the hospital room. "How do I kiss with a beak?"

The native Gilda walked faster. "La la la, not having this conversation!"

Session 26.9 Zaku789

"What the hell happen to you two?" Sunset asked as they were sitting in a cafe.

"It wasn't worth it, I'd rather eat my own hoof/hands then deal with that brat 24/7," Aria muttered emotionlessly.

"Word," Adagio said.

"Okay.... then what happen to Sonata?"

'We elected her to stay cause for some horrible reasoning she think babysitting for a month sounds fun," Aria muttered.

"We get to see her on the weekends till then," Adagio said.

"What the heck are you talking about?"

"Lets just say we hate babies and clown now and put it like that," Adagio said.

"And cornfields, we hate cornfields," Aria added.

Session 26.10 Zaku789

"Oh great former Dragon Lord Torch," Garble said with a grin.

'Oh great... the hugger...' Torch mentally groaned but said, "Yes what do you want?"

"You won't believe this but I discovered something shocking about your daughter." Garble stated.

"... and?"

"My great former Dragon Lord, I have heard she is seen playing mahjong with the heir of Dragon Town and a pony."

"Yes I know," Torch said blandly.

"Y-you did!?!" Garble shouted shocked.

"You think I'm that slow in getting new information?" Torch said annoyed. "I admit I didn't take the news well at first, but then I realized this is a blessing in disguise. We still get info about Dragon Town via Babylon's granddaughter, granted I bet that old wyrm is also getting data about us, but it's not a complete loss," Torch stated with a shrug. "Now why did you bring this up?"

"Uh...." Garble as his plan to restart the Dragon Lord trial by revealing that bit about Ember failed spectacularly could only say this. "What's that over their?" Torch turn his head, which gave Garble a chance to fly away as fast as he could.

Session 26.11 Kendell2

"Okay, has ANYONE no managed to not violate their alignment?" Trixie questioned, still with Twilight's personality. The group had tried to play O&O with their scrambled personalities...but of course they'd all had their old classes for a reason.

"It's not my fault that bear wouldn't move," Fluttershy grumbled, her Druid having lost their status for their actions towards nature.

"I'm afraid I slipped too far into lawful territory," Pinkie lamented. "I though I was being clever using story telling...This is quite the pickle."

"Darn it, I broke my monk's lawful alignment..." Rarity lamented. "That bar fight probably wasn't the best idea, but I couldn't resist once that thug challenged me!"

"Same here..." grumbled Spike, his paladin having done several things on impulse he regretted...including now being drunk.

Starlight snarled. "I can't believe I violated ALL of my restrictions! How do you even do that?!" she asked, to her own surprise. She'd been a multiclass mess as is so she'd assumed Discord's personality would help...the problem was Starlight's normal tastes were much more lawful.

"I've still got mine!" said Rainbow Dash. Barbarians required an Unlawful alignment...though that didn't stop her from probably being the most happy-
go-lucky Barbarian ever and coming up with half a billion fight songs.

"And I do declare, may have gotten so caught up in how my character looked I may have sold off some important armor..." said Applejack.

Gilda whimpered. "And...do I have to fight so much? I'd rather be support..." she muttered, her normal Fighter not exactly messing with Fluttershy's timidness.

"And I'm so busy overthinking schools of magic I keep miscasting!" Trixie snarled.

"Come back here!" Discord yelled, chasing some Frazzits.

"So, what's next on this disaster train?" asked Fluttershy, crossing her hooves.

"Okay, time for the one way there's absolutely NO way to mess up...I hope," Rainbow Dash said, producing Crystals and Rainbows 3.5.

Sadly, it didn't. While Pinkie Pie as Spike filtered through Pinkie Pie worked fine as Gamemaster and Gilda had to make a character (which would be utterly useless to her once her personality was back to normal), the rest of their characters were still THEM, even if it was a side of them they didn't show that often.

And Fluttershy was rapidly losing friendship points.

Rainbow Dash gave a sad look, mane deflating a little. Had she gotten Rarity's personality she'd be doing fine, but she'd gotten Pinkie's...She then gave a gasp, a light bulb appearing next to her head. "I say to Princess Rarity 'Didn't you hear? Todays 'Be Somepony Else Day!'"

Rarity blinked. "Um...Princess Rarity gives a confused look and asked 'What's Be Somepony Else Day?'"

"It's a special day where everypony acts like somepony else!" Rainbow replied. "Today, I'm acting like Pinkie Pie!"

"So wait," said Applejack. "The idea, darling, is that we're all going to behave like each other's characters?"

"Yep!" Rainbow Dash said with a wide grin. "If Pinkie Pie doesn't have a problem with it!"

Pinkie Pie gave a smile. "I think that sounds like a smashing idea, Rainbow Dash."

Session 26.12 Grogar-the-oneser (and a bit by me so it relates to games)

"I hate freeloaders," Angel bunny sighed. it was pet day and each pet was playing with each other while their owners chat.

"Really? but you seem so-" Winona said.

"Before you finish that sentence, need I remind that while Fluttershy take care of us, we are still seen doing chores around her cottage or around town, we don't just bum around. it's a.... symbiosis thing," Angel said.

"It's true, I use to help hold the tray on my shell for the other cleaning supply," Tank said.

"Yeah, were not like that good for nothing brother," Angel said.

"Oh yes, I've seen him. He was lazy yet smart enough to trick Spike to doing all his work. Very Trot Sawyer of him I must say." Owlowiscious said.

"Wait... if the others do work, what do you do?" Opal questioned.

"Me, I am the official appointment keeper," Angel said. "Which means I have to make sure she does her schedule."

"So a perfect excuse to act like a jerk," Opal said blandly.

"Hey! it's not my fault rabbit look cute but are fierce. Just be thankful I ain't a vampire Jackalope. Those guys are vicious." Angel stated.

"Okay, who was the fool who introduced Fluttershy's brother to 'click' games and is now hogging my computer? I was going to introduce Flash Sentry to World of Horsecraft."

"Which one? The one that's your species or the one you've actually spoken to and gotten to know?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"None of your business!"

Session 26.13 Alex Warlorn

Meanwhile, Spike was trying to dislodge Breeze from the alien computer (repaired and upgraded since the point and click adventure incident that shall never be named), with little success.

"Man these games are awesome!" Breeze said mindlessly clicking away.

"They're made to prey on those who have OCD! That's why Twilight made me promise I'd never let her try those!"

"Hey, I know the basic of game design."

"You DO?"

"Sure, I have a vast variety of job experience!"

"That's because you kept getting fired."

"Details, details. I once even chatted with Princess Twilight Sparkle's brother's, game developer friends...

And cue the flash back

"I have some GREAT ideas to steer games into the second Lunar/Solar era!"

The threesome of stallion stood in attention... well, an outsider perspective often helped with projects and idea creating.

"First! Imagine a parody of the Legend of Cadence 64! Little foal, ya know, Shining Armor is summoned as a colt to the Tree of Harmony to free it of a changeling feeding on its roots before going on the rest of the quest? Well, what if we throw in a cut scene at the end... where after the final battle... we cut back to the inside of the Tree of Harmony, where Shining Armor is being slowly digested after walking into the Tree of Harmony's mouth, and the forest foals are really the Tree of Harmony's food, and the entire quest was a illusion implanted in his mind while he's eaten!"

The stallions cringed and frowned.

"Don't like that one? I have others! A parody of Mega Pony, where after defeating the mad doctor and his reprogrammed six robots, it's revealed that Mega Pony was the one reprogrammed to help conquer the world thinking he was the good guy. And the six robots were trying to stop him! and then break the forth wall where the REAL evil scientist thanks the player for helping him conquer the world."

The frowns deepened.

"Wait wait wait! I got another, a remake of Froggy where after crossing the road and finishing the game, it turns out that minotaurs have completely bull dozed his pond, and his entire struggle was pointless."

The three stood up.

End flash back

"What happened after that?" Spike had to ask.

"They shot me out of a cannon back to Cloudsdale. I guess those guys can't appreciate art games."

Session 26.14 BrutalityInc

"Sweet Celestia, THIS IS AWESOME!" Button Mash's older brother 16-Bit squeed, eyes wide and glued to the screen as he played through a rather... interesting game. The room was filled with the sound of gunfire and explosions.

"I know, right?!" His father 8-Bit concurred, with an almost unhinged grin of glee plastered on his face as 16-Bit blazed through the level. "Wait until you get your first Berserk power-up, then the fun REALLY gets started!"

"Alright, what exactly got them both so excited?" Shining Armor asked as he and the others watched from the outside through the window. They haven't seen 8-Bit for a while, and it appears they have discovered the reason why.

"I recognize that. It turned up in the arcade quite recently" Point-Dexter said, cringing slightly as she witnessed a rather brutal 'glory kill'. "Apparently it's one of those games imported from the Human world. Basically, in the future, some people from a company called the UAC built a base on a planet called Mars in their Solar System where they developed advanced technologies to sell, one of them being a teleportation system."

"That doesn't sound so bad." Gaffer remarked, while going pale from the sight of horrible creatures being blown to visceral pieces by an automatic rocket launcher, "But I guess there was a catch o' some sort."

"Bit of an understatement, because the teleporter works by going through another dimension - which turned out to be the Human underworld of 'Hell'." Point-Dexter explained, "Sort of like Tartarus, from what I heard. It's a terrible realm where demons torment the sinful undead for all eternity, and now thanks to the UAC, they were free to escape and invade Mars en-mass, killing everyone in the UAC base off."

"Except for a lone marine, it seems, which you get to play as." Shining Armor noted. Having played though enough games and seeing variants of the same premise over and over again, it was predictable by this point. "And I guess it's up to you to fight your way through Mars and Hell and stop the demonic invasion at its source."

"It's crazy, I know." Point-Dexter muttered "According to the arcade owner, that game was considered novel back where it came from, not only because it launched the 'First Person Shooter' genre, but also because while religious folks had been trying to exorcise demons with prayer and ritual, and tabletop gamers fight demons with sword and spell, no one had ever thought of simply shooting them in the face or blowing them up with guns and explosives until that game came out. "

"I bet the censors must had yelled those game makers' ears off when they try to publish it." Gaffer quipped, "I don't even want to know how they manage to get it pass the censors here in Equestria."

"Chainsaw kill! RIP AND TEAR!" Both father and son chanted and whooped as 16-Bit managed to eviscerate a spherical 'Cacodemon' with said weapon in a corridor filled with gore, cult runes, ritual pentagrams and other disturbing imagery. With every passing moment, both seemed to become ever more consumed with blood-lust, annihilating one demon after another with extreme ferocity.

"I'm more worried about what happens if Mrs Love-Tap ever catches them playing it. There's gotta be hell to pay, mark my words." Point-Dexter quipped.

"Still," Gaffer noted. "it's lucky that we live in a world that doesn't have to deal with demons from another dimension invading, right?"

= = =

Sweetie Drops panted as she dropped an empty magazine onto the metal floor of the walkway with a resounding clang, before pulling out a full clip from a bag and slamming the reload into her weapon. Behind her cover, monstrous howls and screeches could be heard, coming ever closer and louder.

"It seems I can't catch a break these days, even after I retired." She muttered irritably. "Guess I better write a magic post to Lyra telling her I'll be late tonight."

It was Saturday, and she was hoping to catch a bit of peace and quiet hiking alone in the countryside. The place she was going to was near the Tartarus gate, yes, but as long as Cerberus was guarding the portal, there was no monster or evil overlord that anypony needed to worry about escaping the prison in the pocket dimension beyond the portal, built by the gods, ancients or whatever (It and Cerberus was already there when the ponies founded it ages ago, of course, that didn't include Celestia who had at least once called Cerberus 'her dog').

Of course, no-pony had accounted for the advanced arcane research facility that was researching new teleportation spells in the area, which just so happens to be within visual and walking distance of the hiking trail. Which just so happens to be conducting a new experiment today.

Whatever happened, it tore a gaping hole through reality into the Tartarus dimension and shattering the bonds of every creature within the vicinity of the tear, allowing them to escape (Tirek didn't escape, as Sweetie later learnt, being imprisoned on the other side of the extra-dimensional prison pit).

Sweetie Drops seethes at being the only pony in the vicinity with any training or experience with combat or the supernatural who could respond to the threat the tear poise to Equestria. She doesn't seethe as much at the fact that her agent days have left her with a being crazy-prepared mentality that resulted in her often carrying a hidden magical Bag of Holding which carried her former agent armor, tools and weaponry.

Sighing, she poked her head out of cover, ducked back down from a few fireballs thrown in her direction by terrible looking imp-like creatures, before she rolled out and started laying down the hurt from her tail cranked, silver-tipped flechette-firing, saddle-mounted gatling gun, driving them back and allowing her to proceed towards the communications room where she could call for more backup.

Session 26.8 Mtangalion

Princess Twilight Sparkle rolled over and yawned blearily, flopping half out of her bed. "Huree..." She blinked, then did a double-take, noticing the huge green diamond floating above her head. "Ooo, shanga day..."

The door to her bedroom swung open, and Spike walked in at a calm, unhurried pace. "Shoo flee! Nurfver!" A picture of Discord's face literally appeared in a visible thought balloon over the drake's head.

"Frabit!" exclaimed Twilight. "Garnar frash!" A picture of Discord's smirking face appeared over her head too, but hers was crossed out and had two red minus signs. Twilight hurried out... at the same slow walk.

A few minutes later, Spike heard Twilight shout, "Firby nurbs!" in the royal Canterlot voice, followed by a great sizzling zap, and Discord's voice yelping and shouting "Wabadebadoo!!"

Session 26.16 Ardashir

"Hey guys!" Dash dropped down onto the floor inside Twilight's castle. She saw them gathered around yet another of the video games submitted for testing by Gaffer and his friends. Applejack was currently at the controls, and her friends were trying hard not to laugh at whatever was going on.

"Operation a failure again?!? Dangit!" Applejack snorted and set the controller down. "Who ever thought it'd be this hard ta fix injured ponies up?"

"Hey, maybe ya oughta let me try," Dash moved into their midst. "I can be awesome at anything, after all."

"Dash!" Twilight blinked and looked suddenly nervous. "Uh, perhaps you should steer clear of this game."

"Yeesh, why?" Dash picked up the controller and saw the new game load. "I mean, it's not like we're really operating on anypony, and if it goes wrong -- WHAT!?"

On the screen was a simple hospital room. With a bed. And a pony with their barrel opened up to display cartoonish internal organs.

A blue-coated pony with a rainbow mane and a somewhat vacant expression on her face.

"What! The! Buck!" Dash snorted and threw the controller down. Pinkie promptly snatched it up and started playing. "What the hay is going on? Why am I stuck in some screwy game as a medical patient?"

"We-ell..." Twilight rubbed one goof along her mane. "Originally, this was going to be used in training new doctors and nurses. They figured the students would pay more attention if they were operating on a national heroine."

"Huh? Okay, I can be cool with that." Dash looked smug. "But wait, why do you guys have it?"

"Heh," Twilight somehow looked even more embarrassed. "The thing is, Dash, they wanted the students to get what failure could mean in medicine... But at the same time they didn't want to really traumatize anypony..."

Twilight's voice trailed off as Dash took her by the withers.

"Twi, what are you trying to say?"

At that moment the screen lit up, a bell tolled a funeral march, and on the screen Dash with a harp and halo started to rise from her X-eyed animated counterpart. Dash shuddered. Pinkie Pie laughed.

"Aww! It's hard to amputate a wing!"

"WHAT?!? They have you chopping my wing off??" Dash looked at the screen and facehoofed. "Pinkie... that was my HEAD, not my wing!"

"Well, that explains why the operation failed!" Pinkie smiled broadly. Dash shuddered in horror. PInkie patted her on the head. "Aww, don't worry, Dashie, you know we'd never really hurt you! But the way this game has that poor pony die is hilarious."

As she spoke the screen lit up again, and a voiceover said, "Not only do you fail medicine, you are going to spend a few centuries as stone courtesy of Princess Celestia. You butcher!"

"For pete's sake, can't they use somepony else for this game?"

"They tried usin' Queen Chrysalis at first, but the had a problem," Applejack said. She removed the current disc and stuck in the test one that showed Chrysalis. She took the controls and Chrysalis was spare parts in moments. The game started to play the old classic, 'Ding-dong, the witch is dead!'

"Nopony wanted ta even try savin' her." Applejack finished. "Ah just hope old Cheeselegs never finds out about this. THey only even did send out one other o' those original games. Wonder where it went."

Far to the Frozen North:

"Cady, sweetie, this is getting creepy. You've played that game for hours and killed Chrysalis dozens of times. Maybe you can stop?"

"Just once more, Shiny, darling. It feels so good."

Session 26.17 Alex Warlorn

Chrysalis reached over and hugged Cadence. "Ahhhhh! I knew we were kindred spirits deep down! It's never enough is it? Not just killing my characters in game! But this too! The nectar never loses its sweetness!" Chrysalis said with a sadist grin. "You love seeing your enemies suffer die and too!"

"What are you doing in our castle?!" Shining barked.

"Game night remember?"

"Oh right."

"Suddenly this isn't as delicious as it was a few seconds ago." Cadence said.

"Pst, pansy." Chrysalis snorted.

+

Meanwhile in the Changeling Kingdom (as recognized by the Cloud Imps, some other creatures who hated Equestria, and the diamond dog clans after a hefty bribe).

"I'm happy the queen lifted the ban on video games," said one changeling to another.

"Though I admit, this M-For-Mature game where you mutate Princesses into near mindless egg-laying machines does get boring after a few times. How does Chrysalis keep playing the level with Cadence?"

"I dunno, but she keeps laughing at it."

Session 26.18 Alex Warlorn

"So this new Grabby Grabby Dragons game... " Rainbow Dash said looking at the cute little plastic baby dragons. With tiny little plastic gems for them to gobble up. "You sure Spike isn't going to set it on fire like Gilda did Grabby Grabby Griffins?"

"Apparently greed is considered a VIRTUE among dragons. So they aren't likely to protest. Besides, Spike doesn't play these kinds of boardgames anymore. ... And Ex-Dragon Lord Torch ordered some extra large versions, he said they can help teach traditional dragon values to hatchlings."

Session 26.19 Grogar-the-oneser

"huh, okay then," Rainbow Dash said eyeing each one but then did a double take as she notice a Spike one. "What the-"

"Spike may have accepted a offer to be a game model as well as Ember," Twilight said, at Rainbow Dash look she added. "She said it was important that young dragon know who the current Dragon Lord is."

Session 26.20 Mtangalion

"Howdy, ya'll!" said Applejack, opening the door for the newest arrivals. "C'mon in, make yourselves at home. Sunset and the others just about have tonight's game all set up."

"Thanks, AJ!" said Rainbow Dash, strolling in first.

A confident young woman wandered in right behind her, wearing tight pants and a leather aviator's jacket. She had pale skin and striking white hair with violet fringes. "Nice place," she said, pausing to look around at the Apple family home.

"You must be Gilda," said AJ. "Nice to finally meet ya in the flesh. We've been hearing all sorts of interesting things about you."

Dash smirked, elbowing Gilda. "Yeah, that Buffalo Firewater was a pretty cool prank, wasn't it?"

AJ rolled her eyes. "Actually, I was referring to the other messages we get. You know, from you know where?"

Dash flinched. "Uh, I can explain..."

"Yeah, that oughta be good," said Applejack. "Oh, who's your other friend?"

A young man had followed Gilda in and now stood arm in arm with her, looking all around and seeming mildly astonished by everything. He had pale skin like Gilda's and blue hair with a black stripe down one side, and he wore faded jeans and a blue vest over a white t-shirt.

"Yes, do tell, darling," said Rarity, coming out of the gaming room to meet them. She peered closely at the young man. "I could swear I've seen him somewhere before."

Dash smirked. "Yeah, fat chance of that. He's from..."

Gilda interrupted loudly. "This is... Karl, from out of town! I mean, Griffonstone! He's from Griffonstone."

'Karl' did a twitchy double-take. "But that's not my..."

"You definitely look like a Karl to me," said Gilda, leaning close and slipping an arm around him, winking.

He grinned slyly at her. "Well, when in wacky mutant Diamond Dog land..."

AJ raised an eyebrow. "Sorry, didn't quite catch that."

"We should get the game started!" said Dash suddenly. "Don't want to keep the others waiting..."

Session 26.21 Alex Warlorn

"Where the heck is Dash?!" Gilda squawked. "She didn't show up for our game session and-"

RAINBOW COLORED KA-BOOM! "-hahahah-"

"I don't believe this! She's ditch me just to go for a fly? Well two can play-"

RAINBOW COLORED KA-BOOM! "-hahahah-"

"UGH! Something is wrong here."

+

"You're Tartarus cutting our pay by HOW MUCH?!" Daisy Jo exclaimed on behalf of the cow herd.

"This is outrageous!" Fleece the sheep shouted for the flock.

Applejack adjusted her tie and snorted. "We provide ya with room and board, ya protect ya from predators, we allow ya to function as yer own community, all fer stuff yer bodies produce for free?! Yer lucky Ah'm still payin' ya at all! Now get them Orc costumes on! Remember yer lines! The LARPers will be comin' through!"

Applejack climbed a tall wooden platform and spoke through a megaphone. "Alright everypony! Here's the grand opening of the Sweet Apple Acres LARPing service! Have your character sheets written out and checked."

"Sellin' out part of the family fields to rent for LARPin'!? Now Ah know she's gone evil!" Apple Bloom exclaimed.

"And remember ya can pay extra bits for rerolls and better equipment."

"No, THAT'S how we know she's gone evil," Scootaloo said.

"And any apples that fall because of you, you bought'em!"

+

"Come back here Starlight! As my apprentice, this loyalty spell is mandatory! Refusing it is treason! Or do you want me to take my royal pardon?!" Empress Twilight shouted as Starlight ran for her free will, and leapt out a window. Glimmer had barely had time to warn Sunset Shimmer to close the portal on her end until the all clear was given and not to trust any message from 'Empress' Twilight Sparkle.

Trixie was waiting outside, and threw down a smoke bomb obscuring the Alicorn's view as they teleported away.

Twilight looked around, couldn't magically sense them, and shouted with the royal Canterlot Voice. "ALL MEMBERS OF THE EQUALITY PARTY ARE TRAITORS TO THE CROWN! THEY ARE TO BE ROUNDED UP AND GIVEN A LOYAL SPELL TO PROVE THEIR DEVOTION TO PONYVILLE! THIS GOES DOUBLE FOR LUNA'S WITNESSES! I AM EMPRESS OF PONYVILLE! I WILL TOLERATE NO WORSHIP OF ANY OTHER PRINCESS!"

Buttons looked at the flower girl trio. They hugged her.

"Don't worry," Daisy said, "We're not giving up our beliefs because Twilights gone insane... again... but... we may want to hide in somepony's basement."

"LUNA'S WITNESSES!" Pipsqueak stood on top of some playground equipment, "Do not be afraid! Princess Luna is coming to save us! Have faith in her!"

A bat fluttered down in the middle of the day, and did flag motions to Pipsqueak that translated as, 'Our most loyal subject, Pipsqueak, run thy bum to safety! Doth command your princess of the night.'

"Uh, okay princess."

Windy Whisper had been woken by the loud public announcement, grabbed the chosen of her princess, and flew like Tartarus.

+

"FASTER Alisa! FASTER! YOUR MISTRESS COMMANDS YOU!" Rarity snorted.

"Yes Mistress Rarity!" Alisa replied, wearing her claws down as she tireless worked to make the dress her boss had ordered her to make, down to every last precise detail.

"Meanwhile, I have to send letter to Coco and Ssassy Saddles. I've been FAR TO LAX IN MY STANDARDS! No wonder I've never gottan anywhere in life! And rally those loyal! Ponyville will be mine! Not Twilight Sparkle's!"

"Yes Mistress."

Session 26.22 Zaku789

"Well at least I now know why she demanded a Doctor Doom-like outfit," Alisa muttered.

"LESS TALKING, MORE DOING!!" Rarity snapped, her red eyes glowing angrily.

+

"Dear I'm worry that Pinkie may have turned evil. She's laughing like a comic villain and keeps playing that music from the 'other side of the mirror' upstair," Mr. Cake said.

"Just keep stocking the basement dear, it's our last line of defense from the town latest bout of crazyness," Mrs. cake said.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 26.0 Kendell2(OOC: I admit, this idea is silly. I just couldn't get this idea out of my head with Cicadas coming out this year and it mutated into the idea of a Changeling hive that feeds off of ambient love and only emerges once every 17 years for EXTREMELY loud partying.)
Session 26.1 Kichi (Did any of you see the picture of dogs playing poker? More or less the same. I was not sure about add Philomena or put Philomena in another group.)
Session 26.2 Mtangalion Here's another one for the queue.
Session 26.3 Mooncalf99
Session 26.4 Alex Warlorn
Session 26.5 Alex Warlorn
Session 26.6 Kendell2
Session 26.7 Ardashir
Session 26.8 Mtangalion
Session 26.9 Zaku789
Session 26.10 Zaku789
Session 26.11 Kendell2
Session 26.12 Grogar-the-oneser (and stuff added by me)
Session 26.13 Alex Warlorn
Session 26.14 BrutalityInc
(For those who don't get the reference, the one and only DOOM)
Session 26.15 Mtangalion
Session 26.16 Ardashir
Session 26.17 Alex Warlorn
Session 26.18 Alex Warlorn
Session 26.19 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 26.20 Mtangalion
Session 26.21 Alex Warlorn
Session 26.22 Zaku789 (For the music in question …
Session 26.23 Mtangalion

Cover art vector by http://vectorshy.deviantart.com/ http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/306718852

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Session 27

Session 27.0 Mtangalion

Back in the human world, 'Karl' was poking at a simple wooden chair and looking at it from several different angles. Gilda rolled her eyes and sat in the next chair over. "Like this, dork," she whispered, giving him a lazy grin.

Karl shook his head and carefully copied her, shaking his head. "Limbs aren't supposed to bend this way!" he muttered. "Gotta relax... play it cool..."

On Karl's other side, Fluttershy was giving him a curious look. "Um, hello there... Karl?" She dug in a backpack. "Would you like some sunflower seeds?"

Karl took one from her, sniffed it, then tried to toss it into his mouth. It fell short, and he grabbed for it, snatching it before it fell to the floor. When he managed to get it in his mouth, he sat up straight. "This is good! Thank you!"

Gilda leaned past him. "Ooh, sunflower seeds? Gimme!" She started to snatch the whole bag from Fluttershy's hand, but Fluttershy froze her in place with a glare. "I mean... can I have some?" Gilda forced a grin, sweating a bit. "Please?"

Fluttershy smiled gently. "Of course you may, Gilda."

Suddenly, a madly grinning Pinkie Pie was leaning between them, one hand on Gilda's shoulder and the other on Karl's... and they hadn't noticed her getting up from her own seat across the table. "When would you two like your Welcome to Earth party? I mean, Canterlot. Earth, Canterlot, I always get those mixed up!"

"So what are we playing, anyway?" asked Rainbow Dash, leaning her chair dangerously far back.

Pinkie Pie was magically back in her seat again, like nothing had happened.

Sunset Shimmer sighed, then set a game box on the table. "Against my better judgment... we're going to give World of Horsecraft the pen and paper RPG a try."

"I think it'll be fun," said Twilight. "I can't wait to see how they adapted the unique game mechanics." She opened the box and started passing out character sheets.

Applejack leaned and whispered to Rarity. "Five bucks says it's regular D&D with different names again." They were interrupted by a buzzing sound, like a cell phone on vibrate.

Sunset checked her pockets, and then her satchel. "Excuse me..." She pulled out her journal and skimmed through the pages. "Hey, could you guys start the game without me? I have to take care of something. Princess Twilight's gone just a teensy bit crazy again."

"Again?" chorused everyone else in the room.

"Yep." Sunset took the black jacket off her chair and slipped it on. "I just need to go close the portal until it's safe."

Karl made a sound somewhere between a strangled gasp and a squawk. "What? Close the portal?!"

Sunset froze, then grinned nervously. "Did I say portal? I meant... garage. Yeah, our friend Starlight went on a trip and left her *garage* door open, and she's really not happy about that, so I'll just... take care it right quick."

Karl jumped out of his chair. "I could help!"

"No!" yelped Sunset. "I mean... thanks, but I've got this, see ya, bye!" She dashed on out the door, and they heard her motorcycle revving, then fading into the distance.

Karl sat down heavily. "What am I supposed to do?" he hissed quietly at Gilda. "I'll be stuck here!"

"Oh, relax," grumbled Gilda under her breath. "Absolute worst case, they'll have some kind of standoff for a week, and then it'll all be fixed in a half-hour or so."

"A week!?"

"Sure it's lame, but it's really not that big of a deal. You can stay with me. Look, don't be such a baby."

"Hatchling."

"Whatever!"

Unfortunately, no one had thought to warn Spike about their extra guests, and he came trotting in now, wearing an adorable miniature chef's hat and pushing a cart with his forepaws. "Hey girls! Pizza's re- .... whoops."

"Thank you, small friend!" said Karl cheerfully, serving himself a big slice from the half with extra meat toppings. "It smells delicious!" He started to take a bite, then noticed that everyone was starting at him... except for Gilda, who was clutching his arm and gaping at Spike the dog, eyes wide. "What?"

Gilda started whispering urgently in his ear.

"Seriously?" asked Karl. "Well, okay..." He pointed dramatically. "Oh my gosh, a talking dog."

Twilight took her glasses off and folded them carefully, then face palmed.

Session 27.1 Dragon-Of-Twiight

Coffee Swirl sighed to himself, mentally running through his list of reasons to keep on living as he trudged through the town.

"Eh, one of them will probably kill me for one reason or another soon enough," he finally said as he opened his café.

Ponyville was still Ponyville, after all.

Session 27.2 Ardashir

And outside of town?

"I am a KING!" Aspen snorted, rearing before Fluttershy. "I will not be bullied by some, some wretched PONY!"

She glared at him, standing along with the rest of the Everfree deer on a checked board she'd had cut into the forest floor like living chess pieces. Beside her stood Harry the Bear and her new friend, Igor the Gorilla.

"One. Last. Time." Fluttershy said, her voice cold. She pointed at the board. "Will you be a good king for my life-size chess game, or not?"

Aspen yanked the paper crown from his head and flung it at her hooves. Then he stomped on it and turned to leave.

Fluttershy sighed. "Igor, destroy."

Igor said nothing. He merely took two steps and smashed his hairy fist down on Aspen's head. The arrogant deer king slumped senseless to the ground. Igor put the crown back on top of his head and set him back in his place.

Fluttershy looked at the deer.

"Any other complaints?" The deer frantically shook their heads no. Fluttershy smiled wickedly. "Then start the game."

Nearby, two hidden deer watched it all.

"I hope Aspen does that again when he wakes up," one of them muttered.

"Why? So he can bravely defy the pony witch?"

"No, so that gorilla beats that jerk up a few more times."

Session 27.3 Richforce co-written with Dragon-of-Twilght

It was a sign of just how used to calamities, mayhem, general insanity, and aspiring evil overlords Ponyville had become that, within a week's time, the citizens had managed to set up a sizeable 'battlefield' for the two combatants. Ovens, stoves, utensils of every shape and size, and a table full of every conceivable ingredient one could possibly use. There were even a few ingredients added by Gilda, Alisa, and Kevin on the off-chance a use would be found for them.

Even Grogar himself couldn't help but be mildly impressed by it all.

"Hmph, I would have expected mindless running and panicking for the week; yet they still come to witness their downfall." He cast his gaze to a series of stands and clouds that had been steadily filling with ponies as the time for the contest neared. "Saves me the trouble of having to prove my claim to victory when my opponent doesn't show."

That was the one thing that had everypony (and assorted other species) been nervous about the whole thing; Pinkie Pie had been gone for nearly a week following the declaration of the challenge, only waiting a day to hear world from Emerald Grass and then seemingly vanishing without a trace. Indeed, Grogar had been ready to claim victory the moment he returned had Twilight not reminded him that Pinkie still had precisely 43 minutes to go before the weeks’ time had expired.

That had been 42 minutes ago, and Twilight's mane was starting to fray as she continually checked the time and scanned for any sign of Pinkie.

"Time isn't up yet," she muttered hooves tapping the ground nervously and her eye twitching. "She can still show!"

Grogar scoffed. "You are merely prolonging what you know to be inevitable. That insufferable mare has turned tail and abandoned you, you merely refuse to see it." He jabbed a cloven hoof at the time display, now down to literally seconds before he could (LEGALLY) declare himself ruler of Equestria by right of forfeit. "This farce of a contest ends in precisely.... five... four... three... two... o-"

"Is the challenger prepared?"

Everyone present had been so focused on the clock and Grogar's countdown that none of them had noticed when or how Pinkie Pie had suddenly arrived. A baker's hat was upon her head, her mane was tied back in a tight bun reminiscent of her mother's and covered with a hairnet, and a chef's coat covered the front half of her body. An expression of utmost seriousness most would consider alien to the party pony graced her face as she stood before Grogar.

The goat scoffed. "Trying to be fashionably late?" he mocked.

"A chef is never late," Pinkie responded. "Nor is she early. She arrives precisely when she means to."

This was, of course, met with another scoff. "It makes no difference to me; this sordid joke of a contest will be over in due time, and I will claim my victory and my spoils." He raised his lips in a sneer. "And I think I'll make sure you and the Cake family have to sample the most pathetic concoctions of the most incompetent chefs I can find. Maybe I'll even have some carnivorous cooks fry up some horse meat for them to 'enjoy'."

Alisa snarled from the stands as a lion's growl worked its way up Gilda's throat. However, Pinkie took the insults with nary a blink or a change in expression. "Petty mockery is a sign of doubt in your skill, this challenge will not take long." She calmly turned around and walked over to her table, standing calmly behind it. "If the challenger has no further comments, I am ready to begin."

Grogar growled at being so flippantly brushed off, but made his way to the opposite table. "As am I."

"Well then, this is shaping up to be an interesting match already." Discord appeared in a flash of light, wearing a referee's uniform and holding a microphone that went to... well, no one seemed quite able to follow it to its end-point; but it made his voice carry nonetheless. "I must say, this is a first even for me; leave it to Ponies to have the fate of their country hang on a cooking contest of all things."

"Discordance!" Grogar stomped his hoof angrily. "I will not allow you to take my conquest as your-"

"I don't want it!" Discord snapped back. "I gave up any and all overlord aspirations like 3 seasons ago at this point." He turned back to the crowd. "Though I am running for elected office next month." There was a flash of light and a giant poster featuring Discord in a suit and tie behind the real deal; the slogan 'Organized Chaos when we need it!' running along the bottom. "I trust I can count on your votes." It vanished in another flash. "But, for now..." he cleared his throat. "Leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet's get ready to batterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"

Twilight just rolled her eyes and stepped up between the tables. “Here are the rules, you both have one hour to prepare a four course meal to be enjoyed by our judges who have been sworn to decide solely on the quality and flavor of the chefs’ dishes.”

“Allow me to introduce our distinguished panel!” Discord said bumping Twilight out of the way. “First off we have Canterlot nobility’s biggest big wig, Fancy Pants!”

Fancy Pants took his place at a table in prominent view of all the stands. “Charmed to meet you all!”

“Next we have captain of the Wonderbolts and three-time aerial yo-yo champion, Spitfire!

The Pegasus flew into her seat next to Fancy Pants. “Always willing to fly that extra mile for a good cause, or free food.”

“The recently crowned Dragon Lord, I’d say Dragon Lady but means something else altogether, Ember!”

Ember flew into her seat. “I hope you make it spicy, most dragons find pony food a little on the bland side.”

“And finally if you thought Zesty Gourmand was tough this food critic has crushed, both figuratively and literally, some of the finest restaurants in Yakyakistan with a single sentence in the morning newspaper! Give it up for Raul Stompinhoof!”

A black furred yak took up the last empty seat. “The food this evening had better be good.”

“Now without further delay on your marks, get set, COOOOOOOOOOOOK!”

Twilight sounded the buzzer to start the contest. Both chefs gathered their ingredients. Almost immediately Pinkie began whipping up cake batter for a cake. On the other hoof Grogar was using his magic to levitate several utensils and ingredients at once and using them to cut, whisk and mash all at the same time.

“Forty-five minutes remaining,” said Twilight as she kept an eye on the clock.

As Grogar continued his storm of cooking Pinkie was moving quickly between cutting veggies, boiling pasta and grating cheese. All the while working on the several layered cake she had baking in the ovens.

“Thirty minutes remaining.”

The temperature on the arena floor seemed to intensify as the grills, stovetops, fryers and ovens were working to capacity. In the stands Mr. Cake was biting his hooves while Mrs. Cake looked on with worry, the twins however laughed at the spectacle around them.

“Fifteen minutes remaining.”

The chefs began applying the finishing touches. In particular Pinkie was stacking the layers of the cake while icing and embedding jewels into it. She added Miso-sensei’s special spice on her food and then added the final touches, two plastic figurines of Celestia and Luna as fillies and placed them on top of the cake, gave both a kiss and opened a book. “Once upon a time…”

“Five…four…three…two…one, time’s up!” Twilght called out. “The chefs will now present their creations to the panel. As decided by an earlier coin toss Grogar will go first.”

Gorgar came before the judges first. “I give you Faux Prime Rib with whipped mashed potatoes and grilled asparagus on the side, Stroganoff with a creamy wine sauce, Watercress salad with balsamic vinaigrette dressing garnished with actual bits and for dessert Crème Brule al a Flambé.” Gorgar turned to Pinkie. “Oh and what wine do you think would go good with the domination of Equestria?”

Grogar placed a sample of each dish in front of the judges as they whispered to each other.

“Good,” said Fancy Pants. “But about what you would expect from a high tier Canterlot restaurant on an average night.”

“I’m not all that familiar with all this fancy food,” said Spitfire. “It’s good food, but if that bit garnish is supposed to be a bribe, I’m not taking it.”

“If this I’m not entirely impressed with pony cuisine so far,” said Ember. “Plain gold is a bit on the mild side to be a proper dragon garnish, but I can’t complain about the crème brule.”

“I deem this meal adequate,” Raul said plainly.

“Now it in Pinkie Pie’s turn to present her meal,” said Discord.

“For your dining pleasure I proudly present, Spaghetti Pomodoro with a side of fried eggplant, a three sauce enchilada with refried beans and guacamole, Mushroom bisque soup seasoned with basil and rosemary and of course a Sunrise Moonrise Sister’s Surprise Cake.”

The announcement of the cake brought a number of gasps. “But nopony has made that since the Canterlot Cake Calamity!”

“Huh,” scoffed Grogar. “Those dishes are too different to go together!”

Pinkie just kept her eyes on the judges, “Like a good friendship, it is the differences that make whole experience all the better.”

Pinkie left the food on the table and stepped back to leave the rest to the judges.

“I say this bisque is incredible,” said Fancy Pants. “The blend of herbs is remarkable!”

“The sauce on this spaghetti is so light, I feel like I take off with increased speed,” said Spitfire. “But at the same time the flavor hits like a tornado.”

“This Enchilada is so spicy and the gems in the cake complement each other so well,” said Ember. “This pony really gets what a dragon wants.”

“This food…” Rual said with a single tear rolling from his eye. “It is food like this that reminds me why I become critic is first place. To eat food that a chef had put their whole heart into, it is perfect.”
Few minutes later Discord addressed the crowd and now the results, the winner will be showered in glory, the loser will be doomed to scrub!” Discord popped up a large sink stacked high with dirty dishes. “Princess Celestia is hosting a dinner party later and this way I avoid cleaning her china.”

“And the winner is…” Twilight said holding an envelope. She took a moment to open it as the crowd watched in anticipation. “Pinkie Pie!”
Pinkie Pie’s friends crowded her. “I guess you really knew what you doing,” said Applejack.

“I wasn’t SURE sure until I tried some this ‘spice’ Emerald Grass’ teacher gave me,” said Pinkie Pie. “It turned out to be regular water.”

“The old magic feather trick huh?” said Rainbow.

“I just used some as a reminder before turning everything in, but you’ll excuse me I have to tell every pony something.” Pinkie started to address the crowd. “I worked hard this week to accomplish one goal, to save the baking legacy of the Cake family by humiliating a dark wizard in a cooking contest in front of hundreds of spectators. I believe I accomplished this goal.”
Grogar simply grumbled as he was washing dishes with Discord standing over his shoulder.

“But the real joy of cooking is not in a stadium, it’s at the home for family and friends or for some in a restaurant for the community. And for that reason since Grogar’s probably going to snet to Tartarus to try to reform him, I’d like to also recommend a work release program of sorts…”

+++

A few days later the girls were playing Bunnies and Burrows at Sugar Cube Corner. “Ok,” said Fluttershy. “You find yourselves in front of Farmer Sprout’s carrot patch. The skies above are clear and…”

“Gah!” came a yell from the kitchen.

“Just a second girls, I’ll handle this,” said Pinkie.

In the kitchen a magically chained Grogar was sucking on his hoof. “You dare to burn my hoof?! Feel thine own wrath stove!” Grogar then started blasting the stovetop with weakened black lightning.

“What did we say about using your evil powers, trainee?” Pinkie said drawing out the last word.

Grogar grumbled. “Good food is made with love, not dark magic.”

Session 27.4 Ardashir

"Uhh, you SURE this is a good idea, Twilight?" Applejack carefully set down a bowl of apples between a smaller one of Changeling nectar and a third one of a seaweed Seaponies ate. She shuddered away from the dish with Mexi-colt griffin tacos on it, filled with -- shudder --meat.

"I'm sure, Applejack," Twilight responded as she checked her game books, made sure there were enough dice and paper, and arranged the table. "Princess Celestia and Sunset Shimmer both suggested it as a way to shorten their parole, and they agreed. And they will be wearing magic inhibitors..."

Applejack wheeled on her. She stopped.

"But th' Dazzlings? An' QUEEN CHRYSALIS? Playing games?" AJ looked at the books and winced. "'Specially that game? Call of Ponythulu? Just seems like there's something off 'bout lettin' eldritch abominations fight eldritch abominations..."

"That was my idea!" Twilight looked at the game books, "You HAVE to cooperate to even survive in CoP, so if the Dazzlings and Chrysalis want to 'win', which means escape alive and sane, they'll have to work together." Twilight smiled triumphantly. "They'll learn how much better it is to cooperate with others rather than just take from them!"

"Maybe," Applejack frowned. She headed for the door. "Ah'll be back on the farm. Ya got Spike here. When, ah mean IF things go wrong, just call for me an' Ah'll come runnin'." The castle doors closed behind her.

Twilight flew to the window and called after her.

"It'll work great, Applejack! You'll see!"

A surly familiar voice spoke behind her.

"What's gonna work great?"

"Hello, Adagio, Aria," Twilight nodded at the Sirens, all three looking vaguely Pegasi-like with their diaphanous wings. They crawled/slithered away from the world mirror as Sonata nearly fell face first coming out of it. Adagio scowled and Aria just rolled her eyes. Sonata made a beeline for the table, licking fanglike teeth. Twilight forced herself not to shudder. "We're almost all here for your first week of therapy..."

"It was this or have Sun-Butt turn us into stone," Aria folded her forelegs over her chest and grumbled. Adagio glared as she added, "All because 'Dagi tried to sneak back into the royal palace and steal some of those forbidden spellbooks Shimmer tried to use. Now we either play games like foals or end up pigeon roosts... OW!" Aria rubbed her head where Adagio had hoofed her.

"Don't you dare criticize me!" Adagio snapped. "This is better than collecting moss for centuries! Besides," her voice softened a trifle. "If this works, we can see Aquastria again. Briefly."

"Yeah, and I wonder if that seaweed place we used to go to is still open," Sonata said from the table, already scarfing down her third taco. Her eyes closed dreamily as she gulped and swallowed, reddish sauce running like blood down her muzzle. "Oh, tacos... I love meat so much..."

"It's been over a thousand years, Sonata," Adagio snapped as she made her way to the table. "That place probably closed nine hundred years ago." She looked back at Aria, still frowning. "Move it, Aria. If I have to be humiliated, then so do you."

"Fine," Aria went to her seat. "Guess we better get going before Sonata eats everything. Hey, Sonata, remember when you weren't as big as a house?"

Sonata gasped and snarled. "I was NEVER fat! You're the one who was FAT, you, you freshwater fish!"

Aria snarled at Sonata's words. Her own fangs showing, she began heading for Sonata. Sonata dropped down from the table, her normal goofiness gone, looking downright vicious. Twilight got ready to pull them apart. And then Adagio spoke up.

"Both of you, ZIP IT!" To Twilight's surprise, Sonata and Aria immediately calmed down, though they each went to seats on either side of Adagio. Adagio gave them both a glare and a rough shake along the necks before she spoke. "If playing Snakes and Ladders or checkers or whatever keeps us out of jail, then we're doing it! And NO complaints!" All three looked at Twilight impatiently.

"Heh, well, it's neither of those games." Twilight said as she got in her seat. She hoofed out three character sheets. Unnoticed by her, the eyes of the sirens widened in shock as she began, "It's something a little more mature, a game about cosmic horror in the worlds of..."

"That Horsecraft bozo?"

"What?" Twilight blinked at their reaction. "Wait, you now about Horsecraft? How? He only wrote his stories less than a hundred years ago."

"We, ah, knew some human guy like him," Adagio said. She tried and failed to look innocent. "Total flake. Told him all about Aquastria and how sea ponies used to have kids with landers..."

"Which is totally not true," Aria hurriedly added.

"ACHOO!" Rarity, Sweetie Belle, and their mother all sneezed at the same time.

"And he got all crazy abut seafood and fish people and stuff like that," Sonata said.

"Anyway!" Adagio held up the gamebook in one hoof. "This better not be one of those stories where he slandered seaponies by saying we were creepy monsters that drove people nuts!"

Twilight desperately bit down on her initial response. "Oh, no, no! Just a simple investigation, heh." She mentally noted to replace the Deep Ponies with Ghoul Dogs. "Just the four of you."

"Huh? Three sirens said at once. "What 'four of us'?"

"I'm late," a dry, slightly metallic voice rasped. Chrysalis walked into the room, a sneer on her face. "Don't make anything out of it. I have business of my own to take care of, and..."

Her gaze fell on the sirens. "Well! And here I thought I'd be eating whatever tripe your hick friend cooked up! At least you were thoughtful enough to provide seafood. But where's the tartar sauce?"

"SEAFOOD?!? Listen up, bug breath, we wouldn't eat YOU if you were tossed to us on a hook!"

Twilight just groaned as they squabbled and wondered if this was really such a great idea.

Session 27.5 Mooncalf99

"Spike! Lord Ember!" Trixie declared imperiously as she strode into the palace. "Good, good, you're right on time."

"Yeaaah..." Spike said dubiously. "We were right on time. One hour ago. The time your letter mentioned. Which was one hour ago." He didn't look too enthused. Neither did Ember, who had spent the hour being questioned on pointless dragon trivia - including far too many concepts that made no sense to a dragon, such as childcare, property laws and night lights - by the ever-inquisitive Princess Twilight.

"I agreed to study under you, Kokushi Muso, but I'm not certain I like this waste of my time," Ember agreed.

"You're not?" Trixie said, sounding concerned. "That is a shame. Self-certainty is essential for good mahjong play."

"That's not--" Ember began.

"We'll just have to add more confidence training to your schedule," Trixie continued. She tsked. "I did not expect that kind of deficit from a Badlands dragon, but maybe it's healthier in the long run. No matter!"

"But--" Ember protested.

"Just let it go," Twilight suggested. "You are taking this seriously, right, Trixie?"

"As serious as anything," Trixie agreed with a proud grin. "Now, my faithful students, you're both progressing well in the basics, so today you have earned a very special lesson. Can you guess what it is? It is something that all good players must master."

"How to read your opponent?" Spike suggested.

"No, that's a basic lesson already, and I expect you to work at it as often as you can," Trixie said with a shake of her head.

"How to... prevent your opponent from reading you?" Ember suggested in turn.

Trixie shook her head again. "No, and same thing."

"Your sure-fire strategy for defeating any opponent?" Spike asked.

"If I had one, do you think I'd share it?" Trixie asked with a smirk.

"That thing where you crush your opponent with the sheer magnitude of your indomitable mahjong spirit?" Ember asked.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Trixie asked. "But mahjong power cannot be taught, only mastered through mastering the game. You'll get there in time."

"Playing mahjong does not give you super powers," Twilight pointed out irritatedly.

"I dunno... Mina said that Master Babylon once turned a weaker player into a patch of moss just by staring at him," Spike said.

"Sounds about right... but then, Uncle is very, very powerful and has to restrain himself almost all the time," Trixie said. "Anyway, to answer the question neither of you could find one for, today's lesson is 'thinking outside the box'. We have a lot of work ahead of us."

"Do you want me to sit in today?" Twilight asked. "You're short one player, and I've been practising."

"Absolutely not," Trixie said.

"...What?" Twilight asked, taken aback. She hadn't expected that kind of brutal rejection.

"Look, Twilight..." Trixie said. "You mean well, probably, but you're kind of... a terribly sore loser, and we really don't need that kind of attitude today."

"What do you mean?" Twilight said, surprised. "I'm not a sore loser."

"Right, and Trixie doesn't still have bruised ribs from dealing with your demon niece," Trixie said flippantly. "Regardless, I'm responsible for Lord Ember's training and I don't want that sort of negative influence on her. Besides, I've arranged for players today." Ignoring the fuming princess, Trixie clopped her hooves together. "Ladies, you may enter."

The front door swung open, and Octavia entered, followed by Vinyl Scratch, the latter bobbing her head to the beat of the music in her headphones and showing only a vague awareness of her surroundings. "It's about time. We were just about to give up and go home. Your highness...es," she added, noticing Twilight and Ember.

"Spike, Ember, this is Miss Octavia Melody and her friend Vinyl 'DJ PON3' Scratch, local talents," Trixie said. "Girls, this is Dragon Lord Ember, and you know Spike already."

"It's a... pleasure?" Ember asked uncertainly.

"I hope it will be," Octavia said. "Trixie did speak well of your skills, so you should provide some challenge."

"Uh, okay?" Spike said nervously. "I didn't even know you girls played."

The two musicians stopped and turned towards him with a curious regard. Vinyl Scratch carefully raised her glasses... and Spike felt his heart freeze in terror.

This isn't going to be easy.

"You will be facing Octavia directly, Ember," Trixie explained. "Spike is your second in north position, while Vinyl is Octavia's south. As mentioned, try to think beyond the game, and watch what your opponent is doing."

Ember looked cautiously at the grey earth pony on the other side of the table, even as her claws instinctively shuffled the tiles and lined them up into a wall. Octavia looked prim, proper and composed, but her calm demeanor belied a dozen tells. If this was all there was to her, winning this game would be easier than taking pumice from a hatchling. Big if. Only a foolish dragon intentionally underestimated a pony.

She threw a glance at the white unicorn to her side, who was still lost in her music. That and those reflective shades would make her supremely difficult to read. She hoped Spike was up to the task.

She looked over her tiles and had to fight down a victorious smirk. An almost complete claw, qualifying for at least three yaku? That would put her ahead right out the gate! All she needed was a west wind and a 4-Sou. She discarded her unwanted 1-Pin. Spike drew a tile and discarded, turn passed to Octavia and Vinyl without anything interesting, and...

She drew a west wind. Yes! "Reach!" She discarded her last garbage tile. Now she just had to sit back and wait until a 4-Sou appeared, and this early into the round, none had passed. She was practically guaranteed to win--

Octavia grabbed the table with her hooves and threw it into Ember's face.

Ember could only blink in surprise. What the flaming phosphorous...? Being gifted with thick scales, she barely felt the furniture hit her, but...

The tiles scattered all over the floor. My perfect claw! She felt the fire ignite within her - figuratively and literally - and she turned to her opponent. The grey pony stared back at her defiantly, as if challenging her to respond. So be it, pony... Ember thought as she raised her claw...

And was caught in an unbreakable magic grip as a raspberry-red aura surrounded her. Try as she might, she could not break free.

"Thank you, Twilight," Trixie said. "Ember, this is disgraceful. We are sophisticated players, not brutish brawlers," she admonished. "I haven't trained you to lose control like this, now have I?"

"But I had a great claw!" Ember protested. I was going to score a fortune in points!"

"And Octavia knocked over the table on purpose!" Spike added.

"It's no excuse to resort to senseless violence," Trixie retorted. "That said... chombo, Octavia. You'll be penalized twenty-five thousand points." She grabbed several point markers from Octavia's box and distributed them to the others appropriately. "Next round."

"Really? The game just continues after she pulled a stunt like that?" Twilight protested.

Trixie shrugged. "The show must go on. Ember is free to leave the table if she wants, but that counts as a forfeit."

"Yes, let's keep playing," Octavia said.

"But what's to keep her from doing that again?" Twilight protested.

"The fact that she was penalized for half of her points in one fell swoop?" Trixie said. "Beyond that, it's not my job to make anypony play the way I want to. Next round!"

Ember stared at the new tiles in front of her and began playing. None of them were the slightest bit as promising as the ones she had before; at most, she might be able to carve out a few victories, but...

"Tsumo!" Octavia declared.

Bats! Okay, just keep trying and take the opportunities that presented themselves. She should be able to...

"Ron," Octavia said.

Stinking sulphur! No, don't let it get to her, it's just luck, she's not that good, this round...

"Funeral Dirge Mentzen Tsumo," Octavia declared, playing a keening song on her cello.

Ember was on the edge of the pit, figuratively if not literally. She had had some luck at the very beginning, but after the catastrophic cellist crushed that claw, it was as though all of it was gone. She couldn't play, only... lose. And soon enough, she'd lose completely.

"Hang in there," Spike said, taking her claw in his and giving it a squeeze for some incomprehensible reason.

"The future looks bleak for you, Ember," Trixie said, moving up behind her. "Why is that, you think?"

"I keep getting poor tiles, and she keeps getting good ones," Ember said bitterly.

Trixie sighed in disappointment. "Sure, blame the game. Don't think about the actual lesson here, hmm?"

"What lesson?" Ember asked.

"Not a difficult one," Trixie said. "I did mention it by name. Perhaps you could try to spark a few thoughts that aren't about gathering gold or beating up your foes, and see where it gets you?"

The name... the lesson...

Thinking outside the box.

Of course. Octavia wasn't actually playing that well, but her dirty move at the very start had made a terrible impact on Ember's fighting spirit, forcing her into playing defensively and poorly. Even worse, the act of dominating her like that seemed to escalate Octavia's own mahjong power, playing the right tiles right into her hooves.

It was a terrible cycle. Each victory only served to make Octavia stronger, leading to more victories. And soon, she would win utterly. Unless...

Ember threw a glance at the score board. Just enough... She discarded a red dragon, hoping against hope that her opponent would take the bait.

Octavia grinned predatorily. "Ro--"

Ember threw the table at her. Two can play this game!

Session 27.6 Ardashir

Twilight eventually got her guests to calm down by threatening to bring Celestia and Luna in to deal with them. The Dazzlings gulped and sat tamely in their chairs. Chrysalis sneered, but she sat down as well.

"This thing isn't going to involve time travel, is it?" Aria asked in a grumpy voice. "Because, like, we totally did that in real life." Adagio and Sonata both nodded agreement. "So it''d be boring to play through it."

"What?" Twilight and Chrysalis both said. They looked at each other. Chrysalis smirked and made a 'go ahead' gesture with one claw. Twilight colored as she said, "You three traveled in time? How?"

"Ah, it was this brown Earth pony with his fancy shed who called himself the Doctor," Adagio said, lightly tossing some of the dice like flipping a coin. "He told us about some race from the future that was driven by hate," Adagio's eyes began to gleam. "So of course we decided to take his Retardus or whatever he called it and went to visit them."

"They looked like big pepper shakers!" Sonata stopped nibbling on a lead figure she'd been given for her character. "They had these plunger arms and said 'Exterminate! Exterminate! Destroy All Life!' all the time. But wow did they ever like it when we sang for them. Hey!"

The lead figure floated out of her reach.

"Don't do that!" Twilight said. "It can poison you. It can kill your brain cells!"

Aria laughed. "Like Sonata has to worry about THAT."

"It was great," Adagio said. She looked downright wistful as she said, "They said our songs were the first music that ever spoke to their foul, corrupt hearts." She snarled. "And then that jerk Earth pony came with some wall-eyed grey pegasus and sent us back, just in time for us to get beaten by the Princesses and Starswirl and get sent off to Human-land."

"Huh," Chrysalis said. "I thought you three were in some music contest and exiled when Starswirl couldn't out-sing you." She grinned evilly. "AFTER every pony in Canterlot no-sold your 'mighty magic music' by just not liking it." She sniffed and turned to Twilight, ignoring the rising fury in the faces of the sirens. "Seriously, how can these three fish be a threat to anypony when all you have to do to stop them is plug your ears?"

The Dazzlings rose from their side of the table, snarling audibly now.

(OOC: Maybe someone else wants to handle the Dazzlings' response to old Cheeselegs!)

Session 27.7 Mtangalion

"Blimey!" Pipsqueak, the make-believe captain of his merry band of intrepid make-believe space pirates, suddenly found himself in the body of a grown stallion, wearing a badflank red long-coat, with two cutlasses and a plumed pirate hat. "I got big!"

Silver Spoon trotted up beside him. She was wearing a space pirate uniform of her own, and her usual glasses had changed into brass goggles. "If you think that's big, look what happened to Apple Bloom!"

Apple Bloom had been playing the legendary giant star beast, carrying the villains that the space pirates were pursuing, and now she was a yellow and red wolf pup the size of a barn. "Ah'm big?" she growled. She lifted a forepaw, wiggling her clawed toes. "Looks to me like everypony else got tiny!"

"I'm flying!" whooped Scootaloo, now an orange and purple dragon about the size of Dragon Lord Ember. "Not exactly what I had in mind, but I'm flying!"

"Ugh," groaned Diamond Tiara, clearly jealous. "Why didn't I pick the giant star beast? Now I'm just another space pirate with a stupid toy laser blaster." She drew it and pulled the trigger, and a rainbow bolt actually flew out of it, zapping Apple Bloom's flank with no harm done.

Apple Bloom loomed over Diamond, grinning and licking a tongue over her fangs. "Heh, that tickled."

Diamond gulped. "Uh... sorry?"

"I think it's pretty cool!" buzzed Sweetie Belle the platinum changeling queen, casually tossing her pink and purple foil mane. Button Mash and Tender Taps hovered at her left and right, their metal carapaces marking them as members of her changeling techno-swarm. She blinked, looking past Pipsqueak. "Is that what I think it is?"

Their make-believe pirate ship, the Moonpearl, had transformed into an actual floating wooden boat. Dinky and Rumble were steering it, and Pipsqueak's friend Moonlight was riding on the prow. "Discord!" shouted Moonlight, in an imperious voice quite unlike her usual mild and friendly tone. "*Now* you decide to spice up their.... our games?"

And Discord appeared beside her in a flash, wearing a red and black uniform with a gold insignia pin on the chest. "Well, I couldn't do it just any old time," he said, tisking and waggling a claw at her. "It had to be when they least expected it!"

Sweetie flew up and perched on Apple Bloom's back. "I say we have fun with it before Discord changes his mind!"

Diamond grinned. "Or Princess Twilight starts freaking out."

Captain Pipsqueak drew a cutlass, and discovered that it was in fact a cool laser sword. "All in favor say aye!" he shouted, raising the sword high.

"AYE!!!"

They spent the next half hour with Apple Bloom padding in circles around their club house at a lazy stroll, carrying Scootaloo and the changelings on her back, while the Moonpearl and the pirates zoomed after her in "hot pursuit," firing "laser blasts" at each other. The Moonpearl couldn't actually go very fast at all, but the fillies and colts made up for it by rocking the boat and making whoosh! and zoom! noises.

Some distance away, Alisa the Diamond Wolf set a picnic basket down, then froze, watching the enormous wolf pup trot around in the distance. "Eh, Alisa could grow bigger."

Rarity smiled and covered her muzzle, laughing politely. "I'd like to see that."

"Was that sarcasm, or command of the alpha?" Alisa grinned at Rarity, fangs gleaming. "I get those mixed-up."

Session 27.8 Mooncalf99

"And with that last attack, the 'Wall of Flesh' finally gives up the spirit," Spike the GM declared, shuffling some papers off the table. "Its enormous body, no longer supported by its own magic, ruptures in massively gratuitous sprays of blood before falling off the bridge and burning up in the lava below."

"About darn time," Applejack said with a mixture of annoyance and relief. "Ah was wonderin' if we'd ever get it ta stop. If ah'd known choosin' melee would mean gettin' up close and personal with all those mouths an' tentacles, ah'd picked a ranged option instead."

"Don't remind me," Rarity said, looking a little green around the cheeks. "This game has some definite high points, but… Spike, tell me, are all the bosses so… visceral? First the giant eye, then that multi-segmented worm…"

"The floating disjointed skeleton guarding the dungeon," Twilight suggested.

"Oh, that poor old mare," Fluttershy moaned. "I'm glad she got better, somehow."

"Aheh, sorry," Spike chuckled in embarrassment. "To be fair, I somehow expected you and Fluttershy to sit out the fighting, Rarity. And no, not all of them. This one's just, well…"

"Harrowing?" Twilight suggested. "I'm surprised not more of us died. Did it get faster near the end? Thank goodness for preparation work, I say."

"And you called me crazy for wanting to pave a three-mile stretch of Tartarus," Pinkie Pie laughed. "But who was right in the end?"

Applejack looked at her friend oddly. "Pinkie, nopony called ya crazy fer that. We all went along with it right away, remember?"

Pinkie blinked. "You did?"

"This is you we're talking about, Pinkie," Rainbow said. "You sounded like you knew what you were talking about. Sure, it was a lot of work - for our characters, I mean - but not that much, and it kinda made sense. Clear some space so we'd have room to fight. No problem. Shame about all those spooky ancient obsidian houses we had to knock down, though."

"Well… yes, but…" Pinkie began. She looked lost for words for a moment, then harrumphed. "Fine, rob me of my cliche remark, why don't you?"

"On the upside, all the spooky ancient obsidian furniture we recovered will be great for my collection," Rarity said. "Hmm, maybe a Nightmare Night-themed new wing on the house?"

"Yeah, good point there," Rainbow said. She turned to Spike. "Since we're on the subject of loot… how about some loot?"

"Oh, right," Spike said, reminded that he had a job to do. "As the beast is utterly destroyed, spirits of light and darkness are released from its body…"

"Cool story, but where's the loot?" Rainbow interrupted.

"Wait a second, Rainbow," Twilight said. "This sounds plot-relevant. Spirits of light and darkness?"

"Released into the wo--" Spike began.

Rainbow Dash thumped a hoof on the table. "Loot!"

"Fine!" Spike barked. He threw a clawful of dice across the table. "Here's your loot! It's all sealed inside a perfect cube of Demonite, currently bobbing in the lava. Happy fishing."

"Ah make sure mah Lavawalkin' Boots are on tight an' leap down," Applejack said. "A Molten Pickaxe c'n
break Demonite, right?"

Spike nodded. "You find… five healing potions, a sword twice as long as yourself, a sorcerer emblem, a 'Wall of Flesh' trophy, the Pwnhammer, and eight gold coins."

"Dibs on the hammer!" Rainbow shouted.

"Aren't you a gun user?" Fluttershy asked dubiously.

Rainbow Dash shrugged. "It just sounds cool, and it's got a 'the' in the name. I'm still sticking with my Minishark for fighting, but I want that thing for style."

"How good is it, anyway?" Applejack asked. "An' is the big sword an improvement on mah current one? Might wanna trade up."

"The Pwnhammer's primarily a tool, so it's not exceptional as a weapon," Spike said, having read up on this beforehand. "It's main strength is to demolish things of great evil."

"Things of great evil, huh?" Rainbow mused. "Pinkie, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

Pinkie grinned. "I think so, Dashie, but where are we gonna find enough crabs to power a whole trap farm?"

"And the Breaker Blade does slightly less damage than the Night's Edge, but has almost double the knockback," Spike finished. "It's your pick."

"Guess I'll try it out for a while, make up mah mind," Applejack said. "Ah use mah grapple hook ta get back ta the bridge."

"Girls, we need to get back to the surface," Twilight said. "I think the plot took a big twist when we killed the Wall and things changed. Oh, and I guess I'll take that emblem, since it boosts magic damage, right?"

"Yeah, sure, let's go home," Rainbow said. "I grab my new hammer and head for the Tartavator. See ya!"

"Yeah, see ya!" Pinkie chimed in. "Tartavator: when you're so desperate to go to Tartarus, you'll dig a bottomless pit in your backyard. Ooh, but instead of climbing the rope, I'm drinking a gravitation potion and fall upwards the whole way!"

"Won't you get crushed when you reach the top, though?" Fluttershy asked. "Or fall into the sky?"

"Naah, I coated the ceiling of the 'vator room with bouncy pink gel blocks, in case of reverse falling emergencies," Pinkie said. "Whee!"

"...I could just have teleported us all," Twilight said. "Oh well. Ready, girls?"

"As always," Applejack said.

"I guess I add the rest of the loot to our supplies," Rarity muttered. "At least we made some serious money this time. Is it too much to hope that the trophy is at least somewhat tasteful?"

"Depends on how you define 'tasteful', since it's one of its tongues," Spike said.

Rarity grimaced. "Lovely. Well, Rainbow's room could always use more decoration…"

"So I know there was one of those creepy altar things near the Tartavator shaft somewhere around the underground layer," Rainbow said. "Do I find it?"

"Its evil aura is unmistakable," Spike said. "You quickly find yourself before the spiked surface of the demon altar. The same one that nearly killed you when you tried to smash it with a regular hammer, actually."

"Good, because vengeance always feels extra good. Do I need to roll?" she asked.

"No, you smash it into dust with a single blow of the awesome Pwnhammer," he said. "You feel as though a great evil has been purged. The world is now blessed with palladium."

"That's… good?" Rainbow asked. She had no idea what that was, but new metals usually meant new weapons and armor.

"However, a seed of Corruption has sprouted somewhere in the world," he continued.

"That's… bad," she observed.

"You feel that your clumsy tampering with the cosmic forces has caused an unbalance, and great evils will now seek you out in retaliation," he continued.

"That's… how I roll in most games anyway," she said with a shrug.

"Also, there will now be a small chance of pirate invasion every day," he finished.

"And that's… awesome," she said. "Okay, I return to the surface now."

"Let me just grab a frogurt from the kitchen and we'll join up with the others," he said.

"Okay, for simplicity's sake, I'm gonna assume you all return at the same time," Spike said. "So you find yourselves back at the sprawling mansion/fortress of Harmony. It's late evening, and the air is thick with leaves as the Deer is doing his protective magic. A horde of zomponies are approaching from the west, bringing with them a horrible stench of the grave." He checked his notes. "And they all fall into the big pit Applejack dug earlier."

"Home defense one-oh-one," Applejack said proudly. "Ah grab a bucket o' lava from the storage and pour it on them."

"They scream and writhe in dimly comprehended agony and rage as the lava burns their flesh," Spike described. "After several long seconds, the last one finally gives up the ghost."

"Gosh, but this never gets old, does it?" Applejack said happily. "Ah'd worry fer meself if they weren't unnatural undead abominations. Okay, ah pour a bucket o' water on the lava, an' then I go down and dig out the loot."

"You know, we could set up a few pumps and connect them to the reservoirs, and then you could do all that just by pressing a button," Twilight suggested.

Applejack shook her head. "Mebbe if I get ta do the wiring, but… last time you tried that, ya flooded the house, an' that was just water. Ah don't wanna see ya do the same with lava."

"I'm pretty sure I know what I did wrong that time…" Twilight muttered. "Never mind. Are our townsponies all right?"

"They're cooped up in their rooms for the night as usual," Spike said. "Although the Demolitionist has decided that he wants to live in Pinkie's room for some reason."

"Ooh, a roomie!" Pinkie squealed. "He can stay, I don't mind. I need to restock on bombs anyway."

"And the Princess?" Twilight asked nervously.

"Still dead," Spike said dismissively. "You did throw her voodoo doll into lava, after all."

"I thought it was symbolical," Twilight said defensively. "Zecora has told me that voodoo doesn't work that way."

"I think she knew all along," Fluttershy said reassuringly. "She was the one who told us to go to Tartarus, after all. I'm sure she'll respawn eventually. Speaking of which, I've respawned too, right?"

"Yeah, right after you got killed earlier, actually," Spike said. "Sorry about that, by the way, but I did say trying to flee while under the Horror debuff would be very bad."

"It's okay, my character would be too afraid to reason rationally," Fluttershy said. "I guess I've been grooming my giant bee mount all this time."

"You don't actually have to do that, Fluttershy," Twilight said. "Mounts are magically summoned constructs. They don't need to be cared for."

"I know, but it's the least I could do after we killed its mommy," Fluttershy said. She looked at Rainbow Dash. "Which I'm still a bit peeved about."

Somewhere else, a pony gasped in horror and covered her child's ears.

"Hey, hey, she attacked us first!" Rainbow protested. "And I was up to my eyebrows in a giant pool of honey at the time. How the hay was I supposed to know there was a larva pod there and smashing it would summon the queen bee? Besides, you took all the loot."

"You have to admit, though, a gun that fires bees suit her pretty well," Pinkie said. "Now we just gotta make you some bee-themed armor and the look will be complete."

"Ooh, idea!" Rarity cried. "I'll just head to the forge for a bit. Inspiration calling!"

"I go ask the Deer about the whole thing with the released spirits," Twilight said. "Is he still casting protective magic?"

"No, he stopped when Applejack killed off the zomponies," Spike said. "He confirms your suspicions, though. He says that the destruction of the Wall has unbalanced the world, and the Corruption has grown to alarming levels. Also, it can now spread through rock, and the jungle grounds."

"Okay, that's very, very bad," Twilight said. "Can we fight it somehow? Contain it? Is he still selling purifying powder?"

"Of course, although it might not be effective enough anymore," Spike said. "But not all is lost, he says. A force of great light has also been released; the Hallow, the antithesis of the Corruption. Even now, it grows to combat the evil."

"Well, that's good," Fluttershy said. "I guess we don't have anything to worry about then."

"I'm not so sure about that, Flutters," Rainbow Dash said. "This guy's got some skewed priorities. I wanna check it out myself before we decide anything. Besides, what does he know? All he does is sit in his room all day and twiddle his hooves."

"We should check it out anyway," Twilight said. "I buy ten more bags of purifying powder, just in case."

"I want to expand the town housing situation, in case we pick up any new NPCs," Rarity said. "Maybe rebuild our own rooms a little, personalize them a little."

"Ooh, can you rebuild my room with nothing but bouncy pink gel blocks, please, so my roomie and I can bounce around?" Pinkie asked.

"Yes, because you asked nicely," Rarity said. "Any other requests?"

"Can I have a few hoiks in my room, too?" Pinkie ventured.

"No, those are cheating," Rarity said.

"But they have developer support!" Pinkie protested.

"Glitch abuse is still wrong, Pinkie," Rarity said sternly.

"Maybe we should set up house somewhere else," Applejack said. "Tha Corruption's purty close, an' if it spreads inta the ground here, things're gonna get real dangerous."

"I can take 'em," Rainbow said boldly. "But now that I'm thinking about it… how 'bout a cloud base? We'll be safe there. Long as we put up fences so our townsponies don't fall off."

"I've been itching to use all the marble we mined before," Rarity enthused. "The aesthetics would be to die for. The only problem is that we're running low on cloud, because somepony keeps using it for vanity projects."

"I guess I could take down a few and still feel awesome…" Rainbow mumbled.

"So what are you going to do?" Spike asked. "Go exploring, or build another base?"

"I'm going to scout out a new location, and I'm going to need pegasus assistance," Rarity said.

"Sure, I'll go with you," Rainbow said. "Gotta make sure our new sky fortress will be as awesome as it can be."

"I want to explore the Hallow," Twilight said. "If the Deer is right, it might be a better choice for a safe haven. Easier to access, too."

"I want to go too," Fluttershy said. "It sounds nice."

"I wanna go three!" Pinkie exclaimed enthusiastically. "I bet we can find cool stuff there!"

"Yeah, ah'll go along too," Applejack said. "Rares knows enough about house buildin' that ah don't need to help. Jus' leave plenty o' space fer mah projects."

"I'll be sure to make room for the lava reservoir," Rarity said, rolling her eyes. "And venting procedures."

"That's mah girl," Applejack said. "So, got our weapons an' armor?"

"I finished Fluttershy's bee armor," Rarity said, "so she can look like a bee while she rides a bee and shoots bees at her foes. Don't let it be said I can't follow a theme."

"Thank you," Fluttershy said, feeling a little self-conscious. "Um, the rest of you have armor too, right?"

"Anythin' tough enough ta fight a boss should still do fine, thanks," Applejack said.

"Let's just get going," Twilight said. "We did build a rail line in that direction, so we should be able to cover some of the distance fairly quickly."

"Yay, minecart ride! I get to drive!" Pinkie cheered. "By the way, I rearranged the rails so they dip into a vat of honey on the way."

"...Why in tarnation would you do that?" Applejack asked.

Pinkie shrugged. "Heal buff?"

"Now I'm very glad I'm not going," Rarity muttered.

"After a quick and mostly uneventful ride through familiar territory…" Spike began.

"During which I stand up and wave my hooves in the air like I just don't care," Pinkie interjected.

"...and during which you run over no less than four slimes, two zombies and an animated armor, giving Pinkie a faceful of gibbage each time…" he continued.

"Bleh, that's less fun," Pinkie said, making a disgusted face. "I make sure to collect the slime for later. Animated armor? We haven't met those before."

"They're new," Spike explained. "Not tough enough to stand up to getting hit with a full-speed minecart, though."

"We try to match Fluttershy's pace, though," Twilight said. "How fast is her mount?"

"Eh, a bit slower than your cart's top speed, but not much," Spike said. "Anyway, you enter the Hallow, which you're pretty certain used to be just an ordinary forest before. Everything is… prettier here, with bluish-tinted grass, pearl-like stone, trees in various pastel colors, and far more rainbows than you're used to seeing. Sparkly lights flitter through the air, and you can almost hear the air chime and tingle."

"Ah feel like ah'm in a six-year old filly's trapper keeper," Applejack said.

"An elf with pale skin, long, pointy ears and long fingers peek out from the trees," Spike continued. "He's sparkly with magic, and starts to approach."

"Oh, how nice!" Fluttershy giggled. "I try to talk to him. Um, hi there. Is this your home?"

"Better be careful," Applejack warned. "I disembark an' move up behind Fluttershy."

"The elf smiles, baring his many sharp teeth and readying his claws," Spike said. "As soon as you're close enough, he claws at you for… thirty damage."

"Eek! Bad elf!" Fluttershy squeaked. "I back off and take to the air."

"More elves crawl out of the woodwork, and the sparkly lights reveal themselves to be pixies, which descend on you en masse," Spike said. "You're very surrounded."

"Well, we all saw that comin'," Applejack said. "Ah draw mah blade an' attack. Still think this is a good neighbourhood ta live in, Twi?"

"I guess the light isn't good after all," Twilight said with a sigh. "Change of plans, girls. We fight everything that's hostile, then we purify everything else."

"Everything?" Pinkie asked.

Twilight nodded with determination. "Everything."

(Author's note: Terraria is a very strange game.)

Session 27.9 Mtangalion

Rainbow Dash breezed into the Carousel Boutique, banging the door open, knocking the door bell off the wall, and bringing an impressive gust of wind with her. "Hey, Rares!" She held out a bundle of blue and yellow cloth. "I got a rip in my suit while I was practicing one of my awesome new stunts, and I was wondering if you could fix it before practice today."

"You're fortunate that I have a light workload this morning, Rainbow," said Rarity's velvety-smooth voice... coming from a white wolf with blue eyes, long eyelashes, and a fabulously styled royal purple mane.

Rainbow froze, gawking. "R- Rarity?"

The wolf put on Rarity's glasses with an agile paw. "Oh, Alisa, if you could..."

A unicorn stepped out of the back room. "Of course, mistress! Alisa is always being happy to serve." She had a white coat with grey sock-hooves and a matching wild grey mane. Golden eyes sparkled mischievously. Her cutie mark was an eye-twisting box shape that Twilight would have identified as a Neigh-scher cube.

Alisa the unicorn used her magic to lift the Wonderbolt uniform, spreading it out so Rarity the wolf could inspect it critically. "While I can't promise to have it ready in ten seconds flat," said Rarity, "a few minutes should more than suffice."

Rainbow's whole face lit up. "Rarity, that is so cool! How did you do that?"

Rarity glanced up at her, seeming puzzled. "How did I do what, darling?"

Rainbow groaned. "Don't play dumb. How'd you turn into a wolf? And turn Alisa into a pony!?"

"Oh." Rarity gave Alisa a knowing smirk, and Alisa winked back at her. "A mare never tells," said Rarity.

Rainbow twitched. "What's that supposed to mean!?"

"I've always wished that I could turn into animals," confessed Fluttershy, as Rarity stitched up Angel Bunny's 'favorite' bib... which he'd clawed up yet again. "Just to see what it's like. Oh! Not that I'm implying that Diamond Wolves are animals like bunnies or bears. It's just that you look so cute and fluffy as a wolf." Fluttershy gasped, putting a hoof over her mouth. "I didn't mean to say that."

Alisa trotted over, hooves clopping lightly on the Boutique's floor. "Does Alisa look cute and fluffy as a wolf too?" She grinned sharply. "You never said before."

Fluttershy mumbled inaudibly and blushed.

"Alisa would be happy to snuggle with Miss Fluttershy when she is a wolf again!" said Alisa brightly. "If Mistress Rarity approves, of course."

Fluttershy meeped, backing towards the door. "I... have to go! I'll pick up the bib later, thanks, bye bye!"

Big Mac stared at Rarity and Alisa, speechless.

"Big Macintosh, good afternoon!" growled Rarity warmly. "I assume you're here to pick up your suit for the big date?"

Big Mac drew in a deep breath, then apparently decided that it wasn't worth it. "Eeyup."

The door to the Boutique opened again, jingling the bell that Rainbow Dash had knocked loose, and Alisa had just finished repairing. "So!" said Trixie, flourishing her cape as she trotted inside. "Trixie hears that some pony and wolf have been playing quite the trick on Ponyville!"

"I... I beg your pardon?" said Rarity.

Alisa tisked. "Perhaps showpony has been performing in hot sun too long." She fetched a bowl of water and a washcloth with her magic. "Alisa and kind Mistress can help!"

Trixie stared at them intently, then grinned. "Aha! I knew it was impossible!" She pointed a hoof at Rarity the wolf. "You are Alisa." Then she pointed at 'Alisa' the unicorn. "And you are Rarity! You dyed your coats and you're doing impressions of each other!"

Alisa and Rarity shrugged at each other, then burst out laughing. Alisa grinned toothily. "As always, well played, Mistress." She counted twenty bits into her paw and held them out to Rarity. "You win this time."

Trixie watched, curious. "That's what this was all about? You made a bet on whether we'd all be fooled?"

Rarity nodded. "I suppose I feel a bit guilty about deceiving my friends," she admitted. "But it was delightfully naughty at the same time." She poked Alisa with a hoof. "You're a bad influence."

Alisa bowed and wagged her tail. "Mistress is too kind."

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 27.0 Mtangalion
Session 27.1 Dragon-Of-Twilght
Session 27.2 Ardashir
Session 27.3 Richforce co-written with Dragon-of-Twilght
Session 27.4 Ardashir
Session 27.5 Mooncalf99
Session 27.6 Ardashir
Session 27.7 Mtangalion
Session 27.8 Mooncalf99
Session 27.9 Mtangalion

Cover image by the-gneech ￼ http://the-gneech.deviantart.com/art/My-Little-Monster-Studies-Displacer-Beast-549164515

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Session 28

Session 28.0 Ardashir (with one line by me)

"Of course," Alisa said with a toothy grin, "if Mistress Rarity wants to look like a wolf..." She went to a chest set against the wall, reached in, and took out a snow-white pelt with purple hair running along the spine from the neck to her twisted ribbon of a tail.

"Alisa!" Rarity said. She took the pelt with her magic. "This will NOT be necessary, thank you! Though the fur has such a lovely sheen..." Reminding herself that her interest was purely professional, Rarity spread the pelt out and looked it over. "This is very fine work, dear. You made it in your own time?"

"Yes, and the others!"

"Others?" Rarity and Trixie both blinked as the grinning Alisa removed at least half a dozen more pelts, sky blue and bright pink and the purple of Twilight's coat and more. There was even a pale blue one with a silvery 'mane' and tail. Trixie paled at the sight.

"What, is Twilight Sparkle and her friends planning to go canine?" Trixie said. She examined the wolfsuit of herself and shuddered.. "The Equine and Proud of It Trixie will be perfectly happy to keep her original species, thank you!"

"No, no!" Alisa waved her paws. "This is for the day when Alisa's pony friends decide to visit the Diamond Wolves to play wolf game! See, game is to wear suit of other pony, and make wolves guess which one is really which based on what they know about Element Bearers. Suit even hides scent so wolves cannot cheat!" At Trixie's confused look, Alisa sniffed scornfully and added, "Prince Eric awaits pony challenge to wolf cunning. And why not Mistress and friends play wolf game? They played seapony games when visit Aquastria with three sirens."

"Wha-aa-at?" Trixie wheeled on Rarity. "You took the Sirens to Aquastria?"

"It was a promise, Trixie!" Rarity flushed in embarrassment. "Twilight and Princess Celestia promised that if they behaved they could go home on a brief visit. We went along, transformed into seaponies, to keep an eye on them. The seaponies were wary, but they asked us and the sirens to play some seapony games."

"And how did that work?" Trixie quirked an eyebrow. "Trixie suspects it did not go well."

"Oh, it went very well at first. The Dazzlings were -- oddly well behaved. However, then this kelpie showed up and bragged she could sing better than the sirens. They accepted her challenge but of course they didn't have their old amulets Twilight told us about, and..."

Cassie the kelpie swam for her life, eyes wide and shrieking in pain and panic. "OWWWW! Get her off my tail!"

Far behind her swam the currently aquatic Elements of Harmony, lead by Princess Twilight who yelled, "Adagio! Aria! Sonata! Don't ruin your parole over this!"

And in between, but closing on the kelpie like hungry sharks, swam three enraged sirens.

"NO TALENT GUPPIES, ARE WE?" Adagio roared, blood clouding the water from her fangs. "COULDN'T LURE LECHEROUS DIAMOND DOGS, COULD WE?"

Aria swam beside her. Perhaps she would have said something if not for the salvaged harpoon clenched between her jaws. Her eyes danced with the hunger for fresh kelpie.

And in front of both her sisters, Sonata, always the fastest swimmer, had her fangs sunk firmly into the kelpie's tail.

"From what King Leo said, I doubt either we or the Dazzlings will be asked back anytime soon, Trixie.... Most disturbing was Pinkie Pie was CHEERING ON the sirens! She was shouting 'Get the mare-y sue! Get the mare-y sue! Get the mare-y sue! Cleanse her from time and space!'"

Session 28.1 BrutalityInc

Out of the silence, it appeared.

When it came, its arrival was heralded by a low rumble, breaking the eerie quiet of the morning; its persistent growl picked up in volume as it approaches closer to its target. The ground shook; dust and rock loosen and tumble into craters and cracks as the earth itself trembled with ever greater intensity.

Out through the morning mists, it emerged.

A thick fog was present that dawn, obscuring vision, hiding the horizon in a foreboding blanket of mist. It would hardly be an impediment than most other barriers to what was coming. It broke through it, like everything else, an unstoppable juggernaut.

Out across the landscape, it advanced.

It crawled upon two massive pairs of caterpillar tracks, grinding mud and everything else to paste beneath its weight. Sloped-armour that could shrug off city-destroying firepower gave the trapezoid prism shaped metal titan the impression of a moving mountain. On its hull it bristled with weaponry; turrets faced front, sides and rear, cannons stuck out from its back like spines, and missiles tucked away in their tube launchers at the rear. And high above, mounted upon a tower, the sensor sphere feeding data to the machine's AI core watches everything around it like an unblinking cyclops' eye.

Out from a distance, it observed.

Its gaze now focused upon its objective, and the forces that had been assembled to defend it. From light tanks, heavy tanks, super-heavy tanks and missile tanks, to ground effect vehicles or GEVs and infantry in power suits, a whole legion armed to the teeth was ready to prevent it from destroying the command post they were defending. Each of these units tactical WMD munitions as primary armaments. The landscape around them was a battered, cratered radioactive hell-scape, testament to the destructive power unleashed in a hundred previous battles. Nothing will live here again for at least a thousand years.

Under any other circumstances, such a defence would had been unassailable to any conventional opponent. But what they are facing is no ordinary foe.

It knew this as well. Already its advanced computer systems had calculated all possible strategies and outcomes of the battle ahead. It noted that the chances of the defenders stopping it from reaching its target was slim to none. Dispassionately, with the logic of a cold, ruthless killing machine, it selected for the best offensive plan and readied its arsenal.

Meanwhile, the comms of one of the forward defence units cackled to life. It was a message from the Command Post they are protecting.

"Unit, this is command, we are getting increasing seismic readings coming from your position. Do you have visual confirmation of the target?"

The pilot swallowed in fear. He had heard rumours, read reports, witness the aftermath of the rampages by these war machines. But he had never seen one in person; not many did so and lived to tell the tale. The soldiers inside their war machines could only pray what they had would be enough.

Gingerly, the pilot switched to the long-range view-finder in his vehicle. What he saw sent a terrifying chill down his spine.

"We - we have visual confirmation of the target, sir." Loudly, he reported. Quietly, he whispered the dreaded name of their enemy.

"J.O.T.U.N.!"

 = = =

It had taken quite a bit of coaxing, but Shining had finally managed to get Twilight and her friends to try another sci-fi military game again. This one was an oldie, many decades old, but its appeal remained strong among nerds even today, and he and his group of friends had been avid fans of it.

 "So basically, in the future setting of the J.O.T.U.N. game, wars would be fought using war machines known as J.O.T.U.N.s, giant cybernetic tanks that could shrug off city-busting weapons and dish out the same in return?" Twilight asked her brother as she and her friends pour through the instructions, lore, scenarios and maps.

 "That's the idea." Shining Armor confirmed with a nod, "In the setting, the development of a special form of protective material, known as bi-phase crystalline armor, justified and allowed for practical giant tanks to be built, as they are light enough to put centimeters of armor on light weight hovercrafts, but strong and durable enough that it'll take a ton of TNT just to penetrate that much protection. Add the development of advanced artificial intelligence, and you have giant cyber-tanks that are practically unstoppable, capable of destroying whole armies with little effort, while suffering little damage in return."

 "It's not exactly giant mecha, but I like the sound of that!" Rainbow Dash remarked, holding up a model of a Mark IV J.O.T.U.N., "But what exactly does J.O.T.U.N. stand for?"

 "Jotunns, with an extra n, are the largest species of giants in the world, giant deer that hail from the realm of Jötunheimr, north of Cervidia, the land of the deers and reindeers." Spike explained, reading through a tome that Twilight got him to fetch, "Jotunns stands at about a hundred meters tall on average, and are often born with magical power over fire, frost, and wind. While they are deeply integrated into Cervidian history and mythology, no one has actually seen them venturing outside their homeland for centuries. It is said the strength and wrath of even one young Jotunn is enough to destroy whole kingdoms!"

 "Sounds like a fitting name for an unstoppable war machine." Rarity noted, while hoping dismally that they would not go on a rampage if they ever heard about this game.

“In any case, a basic J.O.T.U.N. game is rather simple,” Shining Armor explained while he prepared the table, “One player would be play as a J.O.T.U.N. cyber-tank, rolling in from one side of the hexagonal battle map, with the objective of destroying the command post of the enemy sitting on the other side. The other player would be the commander trying to defend the command post with an army of smaller units – tanks, hovercrafts, artillery and infantry – all trying to stop the J.O.T.U.N. Other scenarios exists, but the basic game remains the most common.”

“One cyber-tank against a whole army? That ain’t soundin’ fair tah me!” Applejack commented, “Even teh six of us couldn’t fight our way through hundreds o’ changelings back in Canterlot!”

“Normally it wouldn’t be fair, but because J.O.T.U.N.s are so big and heavily bi-phase armored, they are practically nigh-indestructible.” Shining Armor explained, “Every hit from the defenders usually just take out several components on the J.O.T.U.N.s, like threads and cannons, but J.O.T.U.N.s could take out entire units in a single shot. Because of this, unless the defender players are really good, J.O.T.U.N.s are usually the one that ends up winning such engagements.”

“I got a feeling we’re going to lose very badly…” Fluttershy noted pessimistically.

Pinkie Pie, uncharacteristically, nod grimly in agreement, saying nothing and staring at the model of the J.O.T.U.N.s on the table. Even now, she could imagine the scene of carnage…

= = =

Mushroom clouds bloomed across the horizon. Thunder roared and lightning flashed among the great plumes of soot and dust as they rose high into the air, their loudness and brightness dwarfed only by the blast and radiance of fresh detonations.

The battle had begun no less than an hour ago, yet the devastation had already been immense. The pilot who first reported visual confirmation of the J.O.T.U.N. was already dead, vaporized along with the other first casualties of the opening salvos, his last message a horrified scream, ending in static.

The forward defence units he was part of had been the first to open fire. Rocket launchers, electromagnetic cannons and missile pods, wielded by battle-suit infantry, light tanks and GEVs, delivered kilotons after kilotons worth of munitions at the J.O.T.U.N. from different directions, and the J.O.T.U.N. responded in kind.

But whereas the forward defence units perished, the J.O.T.U.N. rolled on, having weathered through the barrage like a giant.

The commander inside the Command Post seethed. It was not going well; his first defensive line is pretty much gone, yet they had barely scratched the J.O.T.U.N. If he don’t start seriously damaging it soon, there won’t even be an army or a command post left within the next hour.

“Howitzers, maintain fire! Give that monster everything you got! All heavy and missile tank units, prepare to engage target…!”

= = =

All things considered, it had been quite a game.

The match began with the Mane Six as the defenders and Shining Armor as the J.O.T.U.N. cyber-tank. It was a Mark V scenario, and according to the rulebook, the defenders were given 30 squads of infantry and 20 vehicles of their own choice.

Shining noticed the force composition that the Mane Six has decided upon; a balanced army which has included virtually every unit available. He also noticed that they had placed their command post on a distant corner on their side of the map, surrounded by a ring of defenders. Rather clever of Twilight, he reckoned; that way, the Mane Six could maximize the distance which his J.O.T.U.N. had to travel, giving the defenders more time destroy his cyber-tank through sheer attrition.

However, while Twilight is smart, as a trained officer he has more tactical sense. He decided to play into her game and twist it to his advantage. When preparations were completed, he began the game by placing his J.O.T.U.N. on the map, marking the ‘entry’ of the cyber-tank on the battlefield.

“Wait, Twilight, what is your brother doing?” Rarity asked in a hushed tone with the rest of the Mane Six as she saw Shining’s cyber-tank entry point, “He’s entering at the corner furthest from our CP! Does he intend to take the longest possible way to our Command Post?”

“I doubt it, Rarity.” Twilight remarked, “My brother is no fool; he has to be up to something.”

Turns passed, and Shining Armor moved his Mark V J.O.T.U.N. forward. While J.O.T.U.N.s have a movement speed of 3 hexes per turn, Shining elected not to use it. Rather, he moved slowly, at 1 hex per turn, and moving at a direction perpendicular to the Defenders CP.

“Maybe we should take the fight to him?” Rainbow Dash suggested, “At the rate he’s going at it, it would be an hour before he would be in range!”

“No, I think that is what he WANTS us to do. We have some pretty good defences set here; braving it would be practically suicidal” Twilight cautioned “He knows this. I think he’s deliberately moving like that to try and ‘unknot’ our defences, forcing us to constantly redeploy our forces around the CP and leaving gaping holes in our defences, holes that he could utilize to his advantage.”

“So, we’ll play teh long game, and wait for him to come to us; and when he does, we got a gauntlet fer him tah powah’ on through!” Applejack summarized for Twilight, seeing her plan.

With Twilight as overall commander of the Defenders, her decision was respected by the other Mane Six as final. Indeed, Twilight was on the money; Shining grumbled inwardly when he realized that Twilight had guessed his intent, not falling to his bait.

He’ll have to step up the game.

He moved the Mark V J.O.T.U.N. as close as he could towards the defensive cordon. Then, just outside the range of most units’ fire, he started doing some very unusual movements over the turns; he paraded his Mark V J.O.T.U.N. just outside the cordon, jinking forwards and backwards, stopping only to do occasional pot-shots at the Defenders’ units.

“Wow, and I thought I was the bouncy one! Your brother is attacking us like a blindfolded chicken running around randomly pecking at worms!” Pinkie Pie putted her two cents.

Naturally, the analogy was lost among the others, “Do you mean his hit-and-run tactics are being very effective?”

“Of course not!” Pinkie Pie clarified, “There was a game in one of those country fairs Applejack admitted, where a dozen blindfolded chickens go about pecking worms. Whichever chicken pecks the most within five minutes win. It was fun, especially when I jumped in to join the fray and they started pecking me!”

“In any case, this pecking is getting on my nerves! I still say we move our forces and take the fight to him!” Rainbow Dash insisted, looking irritably as another vehicle was taken out by Shining’s J.O.T.U.N. by a lucky attack roll.

Twilight sighed halfheartedly, “At this point, I think you’re right. He’s slowly chipping away at our defences, and the more we wait the thinner our lines will get! We’ll have to take the fight to him before we don’t have any forces left to do so!”

And thus, mid-match, half the Defenders’ forces, consisting of light tanks and GEVS, broke off their intrinsically composed defensive formation and advanced towards the other side of the map. Soon, they closed in on Shining’s cyber-tank.

“Looks like we’re going to be the ones pecking your J.O.T.U.N. to death now!” Rainbow Dash boasted, grinning as the Defender forces surrounded his unit.

Needless to say, she felt surprise, and then dread, when Shining Armor merely responded to her gleeful boast with a smile.

“Oh, I don’t think so, Ms Dash. In fact,” Shining Armor’s smirk grew even more disconcerting as he talked, “You lot did exactly what I wanted you to do!”

Then, suddenly and without warning, he spent the next turns accelerating his J.O.T.U.N. cyber-tank to its maximum speed, charging straight through the Defenders’ massed forces, not even bothering to fire on and destroy a few units while at it.

“Bet you didn’t see this coming, did you?” Shining Armor almost gloated as he moved his cyber-tank through the other side of the Mane six’s encirclement. “This is going down like clockwork…”

“But – but this makes no sense! You’re ignoring our strike force as if they weren’t even there!” a perplexed Twilight exclaimed, unable to discern his brother’s intention.

“I don’t need to anymore,” Shining explained, rubbing his fore-hooves, “Not when I had them where I wanted them to be; on the other side of the map, moved out of the way, giving me a thinner line to break through as I make my way to your Command Post!”

And thus, with shock and horror, the Mane Six grasped the full audacity of Shining’s plan. With one single manoeuvre, nearly half the army was neutralized from play, with hardly any shots fired. They were not destroyed, but even with their speed, it’ll take too long to get all of them back on the other side of the map and stop Shining’s J.O.T.U.N. from reaching the CP.

The J.O.T.U.N. approaches, and the Mane Six retaliated with the three Howitzers they had decided to place, which created ‘howitzer umbrella’ covering their entire defensive perimeter.

However, although artillery is the king of the battlefield in real military matters, the ponies would soon discover something which seasoned J.O.T.U.N. players would had known as one of the fundamental truisms of the game; howitzers, while possessing long range and high damage potential, were notoriously inaccurate, and add to that they are immobile, were highly vulnerable. They were considered by some players to be utterly useless as a result.

To make things worse, the positioning of the howitzers proved to be careless; honed by years of training and experience, Shining’s military acumen allowed him to pinpoint a gap in the howitzer umbrella’s coverage – where only one howitzer covered a row of a dozen hexes in a straight line. Shining took it and charged his J.O.T.U.N. through the gap without hesitation. For good measure, he used one of his J.O.T.U.N.’s few precious missiles to destroy it, ensuring no lucky hits would damage the J.O.T.U.N. during its advance.

“We have to reduce its movement points! Distance is the only advantage we have. If we can slow him down fast enough, we’ll have all the time we need to pummel that metal monster to scrap!” Rainbow Dash whispered to Twilight urgently, now regretting her previous advice.

Twilight nodded in agreement, and made it so in her next few turns.

But Shining was not done; having left half the defenders’ vehicles on the other side of the map in the dust, Shining’s J.O.T.U.N. found itself facing the other halve, composed of heavy and super-heavy tanks. However, having taken virtually no damage so far, he was in a much better shape to deal with them then he would had if he charged into the gauntlet from the start, forcing his way through a full defensive perimeter.

Before long, a real, vicious firefight broke out in earnest…

= = =

The commander quietly breathed a sigh of relief. In contrast, however, his officers were cheering ecstatically, watching the events unfolding on screen.

They had managed, against all odds, to slow the seemingly unstoppable J.O.T.U.N. down in its advance, and diverting its attention from its one-tracked goal. This had brought the Defenders valuable time; and in those precious few minutes, with the J.O.T.U.N. distracted, they managed to mass what remaining missile crawlers and artillery they had without it noticing, and caught the war machine in a co-ordinated, full-salvo barrage.

Perhaps seeing this, and realizing it was too late to evade or counter-attack, the J.O.T.U.N. had fired a few shots from its secondary battery rail guns at the Command Post, a last-ditch attempt to destroy its target; ultimately a futile attempt, given the worst it did was damaging the CP’s communications and long-range sensors array, taking out everything except for one camera.

And it is from that surviving camera did the personnel in the CP bore witness to the J.O.T.U.N.’s demise; watching as the explosions erupting from the cyber-tank’s body and the land around it, throwing up dirt, debri and bits of metal into the air, soon obscuring the immediate vicinity in dense smoke and smog.

The Commander rubbed his temples; that had been too close, but at the very least, it was over.

“Alright, everyone, settle down! We still have work to do.” He ordered aloud, “Get technicians to fix the suite ASAP, and re-establish communications with HQ and any units still out in the field. I want someone to confirm if that barrage destroy the J.O.T.U.N., and finish it off if it’s still functioning!”

A chorus of ‘yes-sirs!’ answered him, and the CP personnel quickly resumed their work with speed and intensity befitting their military training. It wasn’t truly noticeable, but there was a change in the atmosphere of the CP, and the seasoned Commander could see, through their professional demeanour, the gloom and despair surrounding his troops being lifted, now with certain death by cyber-tank seemingly averted.

“Sir, I hope reinforcements would arrive to relieve us soon, and bring us back to full strength quickly in case the enemy decides to follow up with conventional forces.” His second-in-command commented, “Even if it didn’t wipe us out, that thing mauled us good.”

“Tell me about it.” the Commander concurred, “Have you ever faced one of these J.O.T.U.N.s before?”

“No, sir. And I don’t want to.”

The Commander snickered bitterly at that. “Neither had I. First time facing one of those things, and it’s still one times too many. I’m glad we took it down before it made sure this would be the last time as well.”

“I’m pretty sure we had taken it out, sir. Nothing could possibly had survived that attack!”

The Commander gave him a look.

Suddenly, there was a rumble, one that shook the CP and nearly knocking everyone off their seats. The screens went out, and then the lights flickered, and was replaced with angry red glow of emergency bulbs.

“What just happened?!” The Commander demanded. At the pits of his stomach, however, he felt a sinking, foreboding feeling of dread.

“Sir!” A soldier rushed into the building from the outside, “Sentries are reporting an explosion from the west side, just a kilometre out!”

Everyone in the CP went still. “The power-plant! Is it still there?”

“Hold one.” He said, pressing his earpiece. With array suite taken out, they were reliant on these short-range communicators, “Status confirmed. Something has taken out the power-plant. It…” Something made the soldier go pale with horror. “It’s the J.O.T.U.N.! It’s heading this way!”

“Impossible! We scrapped that with the barrage!!” Someone in the bunker called out.

Evidently, it wasn’t enough. In fact, the Commander realized, it had used it to its advantage; the smoke and dust thrown up in that barrage masked its movements, obscuring its survival from the Defenders’ view while it out-manoeuvred them. Those secondary rail-gun shots had not been a desperate final attempt to complete its mission, but calculated blows to cripple their comms and long-range sensors, which could had burnt through the smog and detected it. Even if any unit in the field discovered it was still alive, they won’t be able to report it to the CP, making sure they wouldn’t be able to co-ordinate a second barrage that could destroy it.

Once it reaches the power-plant, it’ll have a straight line towards the CP, and nothing would be able to stop it. In the end, the J.O.T.U.N. had out-witted them all.

The Commander slumped to his chair even as the other personnel, including his second, abandoned their posts and ran. He knew it was futile; they won’t get far away enough to evade the death that was coming to them. Even now, he could imagine the cyber-tank’s cyclopean eye acquiring target at the bunker, and turning one of its primary turret cannons to destroy it.

There was a roar of thunder. The Commander’s world briefly turned white, then midnight.

= = =

The Mane Six was appalled at the carnage that ensured.

Shining’s cyber-tank had been successfully stalled, now moving at 1 hex per turn with its damaged tracks. It has taken significant damage to its weapons and armour, lowering its health and offensive capabilities. Now, it was a battered thing, crawling at a relative snail’s pace towards its target.

Even so, it has exacted a heavy toll upon the Defenders; most of the heavy tanks, superheavy tanks, missile tanks, and squads of power-suit infantry had been annihilated. And the lighter half of the Defenders’ armies that had been on the other side of the map are literally a turn or two away from being within range to attack the J.O.T.U.N.

Of course, Shining could focus on using his last remaining weapons on destroying the Command Post, but considering the JOTUN’s battered state, the penalties on his attack rolls would deduct the overall effectiveness of any successful strikes, even at a flimsy target like the CP, while the Defenders’ reinforcements could make sure, with successful rolls, that he won’t have enough turns to destroy the target before being destroyed in turn.

Shining decided to not take any chances; dice rolled, and within a few turns, half of the light tanks and hovercrafts that are returning from the other side of the map had been decimated when Shining turned his cyber-tank around and engaged them, a classic surprise manoeuvre in the J.O.T.U.N. gamers circle.

But that left him exposed to fire from the remaining few long range units the Mane Six had.

“There! Now’s our chance!” Rainbow Dash noted, “Twilight, target the last weapons your brother have and leave him defenceless!”

Dice rolled. And that’s when Shining’s luck finally ran out that night; all the rolls were lucky, and the last of the cyber-tanks' weapons were destroyed.

“How do yah like 'em apples now?” Applejack taunted.

Shining frowned; he’s literally two hexes away from the command post, and he now had no means to destroy it before the remaining Defender units get to him in force in three turns.

Save for one…

“I ram the CP with the J.O.T.U.N.” Shining Armor said finally, with calm resignation.

The Mane Six dropped their jaws.

“You WHAT?!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Like I said, I ram the Command Post.” Shining Armor repeated, “And before you ask, yes, the rules said my cyber-tank’s tread units would take damage from doing that, and given my cyber-tank’s battered state, I would no longer be able to move at all. It’s the only way I have left to finish my primary mission.”

Two turns passed. Dice rolled. And…

“Critical! Command Post destroyed!” Spike declared, “Also, you’re now immobile.”

And Shining’s J.O.T.U.N. followed it to oblivion as the Mane Six’s remaining units finally caught up and blasted it oblivion in the next few turns. It was hardly a consolation, however, given they failed their main objective.

“Celestia’s golden crown, we were so close!” Rainbow Dash moaned despondently.

“It’s a draw, so I guess that’s at least some achievement…” Fluttershy meekly offered.

“Look, you all did pretty well playing this for the first time, especially against a veteran of the game like me.” Shining offered some reassurances, “If you don’t want to try this again, I can…”

“Oh, no, not this time! We’ve never been able to one up you when it comes to war-games before, but I refuse to believe that it’ll stay that way, not when this game shows we could!” Twilight said, suddenly filled with fierce determination, “One more game, and this time, we’ll win!”

Hearing this, Shining Armor grinned, “That’s the spirit!”

= = =

All things considered, the cyber-tank’s cold, calculating electronic brain noted, the outcome was never really in doubt.

The Command Post has been destroyed; where a bunker-building had once stood, only a smouldering crater remained. If any of the defenders are still alive, they would have had already retreated, fleeing from the behemoth which had crushed them utterly.

The J.O.T.U.N. took a moment’s pause to run a diagnostic on its systems. Armour integrity had been compromised at multiple places on its chassis. Several cannons are off-line. The missile batteries had been destroyed, though all ammo had been expended before it happened. One of its front turrets is a smoking non-functional wreck. And its treads have actually sustained enough damage to slow it down, somewhat.

The cyber-tank noted its damages, logged the information away into its database for when it returned to base for repairs, then restarted its engines once more. The wounds it sustained was considerable, but not crippling. What mattered was that with its successful assault, the enemy’s line had been broken. Now, as the vanguard of its masters’ armies, it must exploit the opening while the enemy is still reeling.

And so, the J.O.T.U.N. rolled on. Implacable, unstoppable, merciless and uncaring, it is a grim reaper that would leave nothing standing in its wake.

It was noon, and the morning mists had long since vanished. Replacing it is a smog of smoke and soot rising into the air, growing fat from the burning wreckage and ruins of the cyber-tank’s many victims; before long, it would all but obscure the J.O.T.U.N.’s fading form.

The earth stopped shaking and went still. The rumbling noise that filled the air soon became faint, and finally, silent.

Session 28.2 Mtangalion and SomeRandomMinion (edits by me) REDITED BY MTANGALION!

Pinkie giggled. "My Titan casually strolls through the harbor and steps on the blockading ships. Oh! And roll for a Bite on the Imperial flagship! Yum!"

"Well... I suppose turning that desert into a tundra WAS a bit much," Rarity admitted, "But that horrid Empire general said my Jotunn doe had a fat backside! I simply couldn't let such behavior go unpunished..."

Spike could barely contain his giggles. "Erm, Applejack; you stumble and land sitting down.... on the whole castle... flatten--flattening it to rubble... instantly... BWAHAHAHAH!"

When the session ended, most of the others went home to dinner, or farm chores, or an Afternoon Tea Time with Gummy that was better not imagined, but Gilda hung around to talk with Twilight. "Deer titans... Heh, yeah right. Like there could really be a deer bigger than a castle. So... how about my dragon-griffon crossbreed character idea?"

Twilight chuckled. "Gilda, you're just asking for a Jotunn to show up someday and almost eat a tree you're napping in. And the crossbreed is, um, creative... but there's no such thing in the game's lore. And you kind of made her big enough to EAT THE PLANET."

Gilda glared at her. "What's your point, dweeb? Besides, you haven't even read all the awesome cool powers I listed for her on the back of the page."

Twilight groaned, massaging around her horn with a hoof. "I thought you'd learned more about realistic characters in our Teenagers From Outer Space sessions. MY POINT is that your character LITERALLY can't exist in this game. Besides, there's already a giant griffon race in here; just go with that and you're cool."

Gilda blinked. "Since when?" She lunged for the table and pushed miniatures and leftover snacks to one side, hunting for the game manuals. "Lemme see that..."

Twilight smirked. "Oh, so now you care about the lore book."

"Well, now I have a reason to, Miss Purple." She leafed through the book, scanning the text with sharp eyes and tracing words with a talon. "Whoa. Hey, this stuff ain't half bad; gotta love these big griffons keeping whole tiny armies as pets."

"Well, before you get too excited, you do realize they just made those up for the game, right? Outside of centuries-old war propaganda, I doubt there's ever been such a thing as a 'Grand Griffon.'"

At that very moment, outside the castle, an amused airship-sized griffon was speaking with the blue pegasus who had brazenly perched on the tip of his beak. "You're certain the Princess won't mind coming outside to speak with me?"

Rainbow Dash grinned. "Don't sweat it! You're not even our strangest visitor this week!" She coughed. "Close, though..."

The booming voice drew Twilight to the balcony, where she froze, mouth hanging open. Pinkie Pie poked her head out of a cabinet and patted Princess Twilight on the back. "Hey, nice Gilligan Cut!"

A hair sprung out of place on Twilight's mane. "It's not my fault! The squirrel made it happen."

Gilda turned her head, distracted from admiring the colossal griffon outside. "What squirrel?"

Twilight grabbed Gilda with her forehooves. "What do you mean, what squirrel? Don't you see him? He's right here!"

Ratatoskr chittered happily, sitting on Princess Twilight's back and flicking his bushy tail. He gnawed on a nut, then not-so-innocently bounced the shell off Twilight's head.

Gilda put a claw around Twilight and patted cautiously. "Am I doing the comforting a friend thing right? Okay? Good. Princess, you might need a day off." She twitched her beak, grinning. "You know, maybe you could make us both as big as Griffzilla there. We could all go rampaging-- I mean, for a walk!"

Twilight tilted her head, listening to Ratatoskr. "What's that, Mr. Squirrel? Yes... yes, that *is* a great idea! There's nothing wrong with wanting to meet a potential new friend on a level playing field, is there?"

"You're actually agreeing with me?! I mean..." Gilda nodded excitedly. "See? Even your hallucination agrees with me! Now come on, let's get big!"

Twilight grinned disturbingly. "This is probably a terrible idea, but sure. Let's do that!" She teleported both of them to the castle's front walk, then flew high into the air, getting some distance before she fired a brilliant purple beam at Gilda. Gilda twitched, feathers all puffed off and sizzling slightly. Then she squawked and blew up and up, spreading wings like a galleon's sails, huge talons tearing up the lawn, until she grew to rival the visiting giant griffon and Twilight's whole castle.

Gilda stretched out feline and avian limbs, half-roaring. "Oh yeah..."

There was a second blazing purple flash, and an equally huge Twilight landed beside Gilda, wobbling clumsily. "W- Whoa! The ground looks so far away, but it's right here..."

Gilda steadied Twilight with a claw before she could topple over. "Easy there, princess." She realized that the other giant griffon was staring at them, wings half-spread in surprise, and she did her best to wave casually. "Oh, hey."

The other griffon made a fist of his huge claws and coughed into it. "This is unexpected... I haven't seen a single other properly-sized creature since I journeyed beyond the Tauren Peninsula. The Alicorns of this land are indeed powerful." He gave them a regal bow. "My clan and I are Grand Griffons, descended from Boreas' own clutch. Call me Gerulf."

Gilda chuckled, watching Twilight go straight into 'Princess of the Nerds' mode, wanting to know all about Grand Griffons... where they lived, their history... she couldn't get the questions out of her mouth fast enough.

Dash buzzed Gilda's head. "How did you talk Twilight into doing this? You gotta tell me!"

Gilda grinned smugly at her 'bug-sized' best friend. "Oh, it's no big deal," she whispered, lying through her beak. "You just gotta know the right time to ask. Keep that in mind next time you want to 'grow up' or be a dragon." Dash was glaring at her, clearly not buying it. "And... Twilight might be seeing imaginary squirrels too. I think the ink fumes finally got to her."

Twilight glanced over her shoulder. "What are you two mumbling about?"

Gerulf padded over, each step shaking the earth. "I think your pegasus friend wants to join us... and also be our size. I wouldn't mind; she was rather polite when I first arrived. Yes... perhaps I'll linger a while before I go to retrieve the Idol of Astra." He nodded to himself, frowning. "Some changeling hive has unearthed it from the rock, and the Grand Griffons must have it back before the changelings misuse it."

"Idol of Astra?" asked Gilda, already wondering what that might do...

"Changelings?!" exclaimed Twilight.

Rainbow Dash darted in between them, leaving a rainbow streak in the air. "Whoa, you're going to fight a whole changeling hive?! I bet that's something two... ahem, THREE giants could help with!"

Gerulf chuckled deeply. "Oh, I hardly need any help... but the company might be welcome."

Gilda nudged Twilight. "This is gonna be awesome. Huh? Am I right? And you thought that Grand Griffons were just made up."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Sure, rub it in."

Gilda grinned and winked. "Maybe later, princess. We've got stuff to do."

Twilight twitched.

Rainbow landed on top of Gilda's head. "Yeah, like making me big already!"

Twilight got back at Gilda by zapping Rainbow to giant size right there.

Ratatoskr curled up for a nap, still a little squirrel on Twilight's much larger back, and quite pleased with himself. It was good to get a day off from updating Master Discord's Fatebook page every now and then.

Session 28.3 Alex Warlorn

World of Horsecraft. It was quickly becoming one of the most popular, if not the most popular, MMO on the market.

The release of its first expansion pack, Reigns Of Chaos, had been delayed after delay... but it had been released, allow people to play now as griffins, and maybe and maybe not other tribes now. And to now play as stallions instead of just mares and could change their pre-existing mares into stallions for a one way offer to PCs that had already existed before the expansion, and of course, for a 'reasonable' micro transaction.

In the virtual Ponyville Honest Apple spoke with Orchard Blossom. "Ah don't like how they're trying to drain people who have already bought their game either big brother, but are ya sure ya don't wanna fix up Orchard Blossom?"

"I do declare dear sister, there is nothing wrong with Orchard Blossom that would need fixing!" Big Mac said in that girlie southern bella tone WITHOUT the help of voice modifying software.

The reign of chaos expansion had also turned half the towns in Equestria into something like a cross between Lewis Carol and Salvador Dalí! One could NOT say that Discord did not have a good imagination! Not to mention many of the animal turned into bizzare shapes (Fluttershy was in particular horrified at the poor bunnies now looking like giraffes).

Not to mention a large percentage of the NPCs who had been 'grayed out' and 'Discorded' to act the opposite of their normal personalities. And as always, there were power hungry players who LET themselves suffer the Discorded status effect for the bonus' in chaos magic infected areas this gave... so what if they had to complete a few minor quest lines that involved being jerks to soulless NPCs who'd just resurrect and reset for the next PC?

It was almost, effectively, an unofficial sort of 'factions' between PCs, between the harmonized and the discorded. Of course, the official factions were supposed to be Sun and Moon, and in style of the game's sense of cooperation, they weren't meant to be actually enemies... but that hadn't been implemented in this expansion.

No one had actually managed to BEAT the end boss Discord yet... And those who had completed the 'corruption' quest line dared not speak of the end, so bleak and dark it was. Who had also been making random in game appearances, to make permanent buffs and debuffs, and changes to characters and locations to his whims. None of the players knew that Discord during these appearances was being in fact role played by none other than Discord, the real life game developer with a degree in programming, psychology, and chaos theory, and the occult (he insisted that he'd been part of a chaos god worshipping cult in his youth was just filthy rumors). He also set up an small alarm so, if he was able, to personally take over the Discord NPCs for those PCs who had managed to pummel their way through the prerequisites to face him.

Company President Sombra WOULD begin to grow suspicious, aa demand Discord 'nerf' the difficulty soon, not to mention if he learned of Discord's 'pranks', but Discord would enjoy the fun while it lasted.

Chrysalis and Sombra had come to terms with them sharing the next update package with their own self insert villains... maybe, it wasn't wise to argue with the boss though.

+++

Meanwhile in the Pony World...

Princess Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Princess Amore Cadenza, sat around a low table. There were several dice, four different figurines, a fold out game board, and four stacks of cards. There were actually two versions of the game, one for casual players and blank flanks, and another for hardcore players. The Princesses had chosen to play the advanced version.

The game had come into being from Buckstarter, with ideas, input, designs, even the art, all be contributed by MANY contributors across Equestria, even from the crystal empire!

The game itself was called 'Alicorn Princesses', and there two different game styles, one was for trying to become an Alicorn before the other players, or being the one to accomplish an set amount of great deeds or the most amount of great deeds in a certain number of terms.

The 'great deeds' were specific to each princess, as well as the prerequisites for being an Alicorn in the other version, even if they only had Twilight Sparkle to go off of.

A bonus version including Princess Flurry Heart was already in the works.

"Qurry our sister," Luna asked. "Why havest thou begotten us to play a 'game' about the very things we art doing every night anyway? Seems hardly a game for ones whom it is but a simplified simulation of our work."

"I think Lulu, it's important that we get to experience how our subjects see us, how they see the struggles, blessings and burdens that come with being a Alicorn Princess. And it is a good excuse for the four of us to be together when Equestria's fate does not hang in the balance."

Cadence and Twilight nodded at this, and Luna had to admit, she saw the merit in that last one at least. "Very well, we shall play this game. BUt only if we be allowed to play ourselves for the first round, yes yes, playing as each other we are sure would be very enlightening, but we should get a feel for the game first with what is familiar, should we not?"

The other princesses looked at each other and nodded.

As the 'oldest princess' Celestia according to the rules went first. She drew her card to see what 'great deed' she'd have to perform to gain a 'jewel' (Twilight had to explain to Spike they were just plastic) for her crown space in front of her.

Celestia read aloud. "Gather the Six Elements of Harmony tokens on the board, then track down and banish Princess Luna to the moon space in far corner of the board (or Twilight Sparkle if Luna is not being played, followed last by Cadence)." Celestia cringed. As did Princess Luna, before gingerly hugging her sister.

"I'm... I'm sure they don't need to be insensitive Princess, er, Celestia," Twilight said, "It's just what you're known for, defeating Nightmare Moon."

"I know Twilight... I know."

Then Twilight realized something about the order of opposing players. "But... why do they think I'm more likely to go evil than Cadence?" Twilight found herself asked her ears wilted. "... Does this have to do with the Want It Need It Spell?"

Cadence hugged Twilight.

Princess Luna then drew her card. " 'A nightmare monster appeared on the board in the Everfree Space (it was in the opposite corner of the moon space), every turn it takes the most direct route to Ponyville... defeat it before it reaches there and protect the dreams of innocent foals.' " Princess Luna looked at the card for a few seconds before saying. "Twas much better than we expected... tis seems that words of our deeds have spread."

Twilight Sparkle drew her card. "Draconequus token appears on royal garden space (which was right next to Celestia's 'Canterlot' starting position), roll to randomly decide which direction it goes, it blocks your path and can not be fought. Collect all Elements of Harmony to and banish it." Twilight Sparkle thought. "But what if it's blocking a space to one of the Elements? This is a game breaking bug... and... " She looked at Luna and Celestia. "It feels kinda uncomfortable with how we have to basically sabotage each other. If Celestia or I get the Elements, the other can't use them to reach their 'great deed' and what if both get some? Can we use them together? The game saying nothing about that. And if Luna is banished, she can protect foals from the nightmare monster and fail her quest... I wish there was a way for all of us to win." Then Twilight Sparkle was struck by the memory of Starlight Glimmer's motherly words, 'See? Now Everypony wins!' "I suddenly feel very conflicted."

Wondering if her quest involved the crystal heart or similar Cadence magically lifted up a card. "Shining Armor token appeared in Canterlot... get married and live happily ever after?" Cadence tilted her head. Then she took another card.

"CADENCE! That's against the rules!" Twilight said, horrified at the sight before her.

Cadence didn't respond. "Visit Ponyville and have Rarity make you a new pretty dress?" Another. "Change Baby Flurry Heart's diaper without being vaporized by one of her sneezes?" Another. "Have a tea party with foals?" "Baby sit Celestia's student?" "Declare Pretty Pink Day? Move to each corner of the board to paint it all glittery pink?" "Get kidnapped by changeling queen, have somepony else rescue you?!" And... "Stand there and look pretty, don't move for one turn, great deed automatically completed after turn?!"

The ~~Pretty Pink~~ Crystal Princess was silently for a very long time.

"Uh... Cadence? Are you okay?" Twilight asked carefully.

"Dear niece we can ye art offended, but-"

Then the pretty pink figurine of Princess Cadence melted on the board, glowing the same color as Cadence's magic. Cadence flew out the window.

Session 28.4 Kendell2

"Alright, FINALLY!" The human Rainbow Dash said, the group now standing at the threshold to Discord's lair in World of Horsecraft. It'd taken days, many snacks, and the combined mental capabilities of two Twilight Sparkles, Sunset Shimmer, and Starlight Glimmer (but not as a player) but they'd finally managed to make their way to the villain himself.

Princess Twilight and Sunset hadn't taken a Discorded Celestia being a boss very well, but they'd muscled through. Luna, who was playing from Equestria but in their party, had consoled them they DID save her.

"We got all the items we need?" the human Gilda asked.

Human Twilight shrugged. "We don't know, we're the first players to ever get this far. All we could do was get the best items for fighting things with his alignment and the strongest equipment we could."

"Well, at least there was a save point right there..." Rainbow Dash said.

The group entered his lair to find Discord sitting on his throne sipping a glass of chocolate milk. He laughed manically, drank the GLASS and threw it over his shoulder were it exploded. "Well well well! Finally somepony manages to get here, I was believing to think I'd made it too hard."

"Which is entirely right," Rainbow Dash muttered.

"But boy do I have a real punchline to THAT joke," Discord said, then got a smirk.

"Uh, girls," said Pinkie Pie. "I just got a tweet saying that everyone online is seeing this cutscene right now."

"What?" Princess Twilight asked.

"Hello, subjects! This is Discord! You President of Chaos speaking! And I have an announcement. Thanks to all of you who were smart enough to go down MY super fun chaos route!"

Discord held up his hooves and orbs of light the same color as the Elements swirled around them. There were a lot of these "These little balls? They're your affinity for a particular Element. When you joined my team willingly, they kinda were corrupted into MY Elements. And became MINE..."

The spheres darkened and turned BLACK.

The Shadowbolts stared in shock at their computer. An 'achievement' reading 'Nice Job Breaking It Player' popped up.

The human Discord sat down at his screen with a bucket of popcorn. "It's SHOW TIME!"

"I can't believe it was so easy to get you on my team, you must really love tormenting innocent NPCs, huh?" the Chaos Spirit asked, laughing like that was a great joke. "Not that I blame you. Had NONE of you done that before somepony challenged me, I'd fight these intrepid idiots in this gorgeous form. But now, with your help, I can absorb these little corrupted Elements and become all-powerful! Well even MORE all-powerful than I already was. As in 'I own you, I own this planet, I own this universe, I own this TIMELINE' all-powerful! So thank you, my little ponies, for making this possible."

"So everypony that did the Chaos Route..." Rainbow Dash said, not liking where this was going.

"Made the final boss of the Harmony Route more powerful!" Sunset exclaimed.

"Actually pretty creative game design when you think about it," Pony Twilight remarked.

"I mean yeah, several alternate universe versions of me died. But let's be honest, if our positions were reversed, they wouldn't give a darn either. Now! Behold my final form!" Discord exclaimed, absorbing the corrupted spheres.

The entire screen turned pitch black as Discord's laughter played on the speakers...then the screen changed to Discord performing a magical girl style transformation. However, what came out of it wasn't a pretty girl in a school girl outfit. It was something that'd give Hoofcraft Nightmares.

RULER OF ALL REALITY: ULTIMATE DISCORD

"Time is dead and meaning has no meaning! Existence is upside down and I reign supreme!" Discord announced, laughing evilly.

"...Well...here we go," Princess Twilight said, gulping.

Luna private conversationed the group say: This tis not what happened. At all. We art confused.

REAL_Princess replied "I know, but the Human Discord coded this, I imagine he did it just to feed his ego...or troll everyone...or feed his ego AND troll everyone."

Purple Pup added. "Probably the latter."

Chrysalis looked at Discord. "I thought you said the boss battle would be straight forward!"

"The NORMAL version of the boss battle IS," said Discord. "I play the big cocky supervillain who doesn't realize he can actually lose until his HP hits zero. But I decided 'eh, if we're including the Discorded route, why not add something if enough people are stupid enough to try it'?" he said, then laughed. "And I can't believe enough people ACTUALLY DID! Oh boy are some people going to be unpopular with the chat after this! Don't worry, I'll reset the number after this and maybe increase it next nerf."

Chrysalis raised her eyebrow. "I don't know if that's brilliant or just being a troll."

"I consider it brilliantly trollish."

[=Final Fantasy Final Boss Music- Final Fantasy VI Kefka=]

To their shock, Discord began attacking before they could even react, his attacks being as one would expect. Flaming cats and dogs raining down from the sky, exploding pies, acid chocolate milk to the point of bullet hell.

After SOMEHOW surviving that attack, the managed to get an attack off...only for a big 0 to be the damage.

"What?!" Rainbow Dash asked. "We can't even hurt him?!"

"There must be a trick to it!" Twilight said.

They kept attacking, kept dodging Discord's attacks...then he GRABBED THE SCREEN and shook it around, slamming their characters into walls that ingame probably didn't exist and wiped them out.

"Well...that sucked," Rainbow said, flatly.

"We're the only ones to make it this far, we have to keep trying," Sunset said.

It didn't help matters when the opening had been changed to a Discord themed one and started back DURING the boss fight.

They continued fighting (and they kept dying, a lot), but nothing they threw at Discord could do a dang thing to him. Even status effects just caused completely nonsensical on him. Sometimes he'd flip the screen upside down and invert the controls.

"I control the horizontal..."

The screen compressed down to a horizontal strip they had to struggle to dodge his attacks in.

"I control the vertical!"

The strip turned into a vertical one, making it even harder to dodge.

As the battle raged on, however...the Twilights noticed something.

"Every so often one of his eyes lights up the color of one of the orbs..." both Twilights remarked.

They tried using color coded attacks, having the member of their party with the proper Element alignment attack, and so on, but still were coming up with zeroes.

"It has to mean SOMETHING!" Princess Twilight thought back. The game had introduced a spell called Memory, which was needed to remove the Discording debuff that even non chaos route characters sometimes got, just like it had in the real events. It was the one spell that could remove Discord's corruption.

"I've got an idea..." Twilight said, and used it on Discord.

The screen turned black and a red orb appeared, the Memory Spell hitting it...and causing the darkness to fade before returning to the battle.

"That's it! We need to last long enough to use the Memory spell on the orbs!" Twilight explained.

"Alright! We've got a game plan now!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, high-fiving Twilight.

"Uh, the other Twilight did it," Human Twilight replied.

"Oh, woops..."

The boss battle was anything but easy, as Discord DID keep upping his attacks and they died a few times, but eventually, Twilight used the Memory spell on the final sphere.

"What?!" Discord exclaimed, looking like he was in pain before lights in the color of the Elements began to erupt out of him. "NO! NO! NO! NO! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!" the lord of Chaos screamed, his form cracking apart as more energy began pouring out of him. "WHY ARE YOU HELPING THESE IDIOTS?! WEREN'T WE HAVING FUN?!"

Discord exploded in a rainbow colored explosion that engulfed the screen.

The orbs swirled around the character with the proper Element for their character.

'You Obtained the True Sword of Loyalty!'

'You Obtained the True Hammer of Honesty!'

'You Obtained the True Shield of Kindness!'

'You Obtained the True Spear of Generosity!'

'You Obtained the True Scepter of Magic!'

'You Obtained the True Tennis Racket of Laughter!'

'Equip?'

The group looked at each other, then checked the weapons stats.

"Golly! These things stats are better than anythin' Ah thought we could get!" Applejack commented.

"And look at description 'Deals Critical Damage To Chaos and Disharmony Aligned Enemies'," Sunset replied.

Needless to say, they all equipped them and all the permanent debuffs Discord had put on them disappeared.

Discord got back up, reverted back to his true form and baring an expression resembling a child throwing a temper tantrum. "NOT FAIR! THEY WERE MINE! I'D WON! I WON'T ACCEPT THIS!"

A rock remix of the game's song began playing as

His attacks where similar to before, but MUCH less intense and doing a LOT less damage, and the random medium bending attacks were gone. Their attacks also did a LOT more damage with the new weapons, even though Discord had more help than any boss until this point.

Finally, Discord's health hit zero and a cut scene played.

"THIS CAN'T HAPPEN!" Discord screamed like a child throwing a tantrum, forming a sphere of pure chaos above his head. "I'M DISCORD! I'M A GOD! YOU'RE JUST A BUNCH OF TOYS! NOW I'M GOING TO BREAK YOU!"

A prompt came up and they pressed the button, causing their characters to put the weapons together and their magics mixing together, firing a rainbow colored wave motion gun as Discord's attack was thrown. The rainbow beam pierced straight through the attack and sped at Discord, the cutscene giving a satisfying up close look at his sudden reaction of panic and terror before the rainbow washed over him.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The screen disappeared into light and it came back to the area returned to normal and a petrified Discord falling to the ground with a thud.

The group cheered as they leveled up multiple times from the experience.

"Oh yeah! Who's awesome! We're awesome!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, celebrating.

Applejack grabbed a cup of (soft) cider and downed it.

'Achievement: TRUE Savior of Equestria'.

OOC: I'll let someone else handle how Human Discord reacts to someone actually beating his expansion.

I imagine the difference between the 'normal' version of the Discord boss and the version after defeating his super form is the difference between fighting Majora normally and with the Fierce Deity Mask.

Session 28.5 Mtangalion

"Hey, cool," said Purple Pup in their vent channel. "There's a cutscene after the battle!"

"Okay, everybody hush!" said Rainbow. "We wouldn't want any more blown speakers, would we?"

'Moonlight' groaned. "Must you always remind us? It was just the one time!" Several of them chuckled.

The game's version of the freed Celestia trotted into final boss room. She was still weak from being Discorded, but Princess Luna was there too, supporting her.

"Note how Princess Luna avoided corruption," said Moonlight, sounding smug. "This confirms that she's the Best Princess."

"My little ponies," said Celestia, "you all have my deepest thanks..."

"Hey Princess, don't you mean, 'ponies *and* griffon?'" grumbled Gilda. "Sheesh, you bust your tail saving Equestria, and..."

"Hush up!" interrupted AJ. "Ah'm trying to hear."

Princess Luna was speaking now. "Even though many cities remain under Discord's influence, that fiend's power has surely been broken today. It is only a matter of time until all of Equestria is freed."

"Whhhaaaat?" They could practically hear 'Real Princess' twitching, even if they couldn't see it. "Why wouldn't the Elements have completely cleansed Equestria? How can Discord still be influencing anything when he's turned to stone!?"

Sunset Shimmer coughed. "Because, you know... other players still have to play through the final raid tier?"

"Oh," said Princess Twilight sheepishly.

Meanwhile, Pinkie Pie managed to get to the loot box and start rummaging around in it first. "Ooh, what's this? Orb of Prophecy?" She started shaking it like a snowglobe.

"How does she have an emote to do that?" asked Purple Pup.

Then all of their screens went blank. "Here's a better question," said Applejack. "Did Pinkie just break World of Horsecraft?"

Letters began to appear: "Crystalsoft Presents"

"Not another cutscene," complained Rainbow. "How many of these are there?"

"Wait," said 'Faithful Student,' the human Twilight. "Is this what I think it is?"

A scene faded in... Canterlot Castle. Inside one of the towers, a familiar pink pony princess was magically writing in a journal.

Half of them exclaimed "Princess Cadence!?" in the vent channel. The other half gasped "Vice Principal Cadence?!"

All except for Gilda. "Who the squawk is Cadence? One of these days, I'm gonna found out what website you guys get your info from!"

A voiceover began to speak, as the Princess continued to write. "It has been ten days since my beloved vanished without a trace. "Since then, many ominous signs have occurred. Monsters have appeared in our land, like nothing seen before." There was a brief scene of large winged insect creatures, swarming high above the streets of Canterlot. "Citizens have been attacked, unprovoked." Ponies in an alleyway cowered in fear, menaced by a spiky dark shape with burning green eyes... which seemed to change into something else eerily, just when a cloud blocked out the moonlight, obscuring the scene.

"Most recently, a weapon of powerful dark magic has been stolen, right out of the Royal Museum." Next, there was a shot of a black crystalline sword in a glass display case. A blue, white-coated hoof smashed the glass, and then violet magic levitated the sword out. The cutscene showed Princess Cadence again. "I do not even want to imagine what these events could all mean together."

It sounded like 'Real Princess' was hyperventilating. "It's okay. It's just a game. That's not how it happened... Oh no, Shiny's going to flip when he sees this..."

"Princess!" said an annoyed Faithful Student. "Remember that little talk we had about spoilers?"

On their monitors, the scene went dark, then faded in on a massive glacier ice wall. The view panned down to a single pony, wearing a chitinous suit of pitch black armor, and carrying the stolen sword. The unicorn's head was visible from the back... white coated, with a striped blue mane whipping in the frigid wind, until he put on a matching black helmet, with a tall jagged black horn surrounding his natural horn.

The Black Knight drew the sword slowly and charged it with his magic... the black crystal glowed ominously violet from within. Then he raised the sword and hurled it, driving the blade deep into the glacier. The glacier rang like a bell, glowing cracks spreading every which way, until the whole thing shattered, falling to pieces. From the icy mists beyond, a sprawling crystal city was revealed.

"I fear the worst," said Princess Cadence's voiceover, "but I still have faith. My beloved *is* alive. I have summoned the mighty heroes who bested Discord and Nightmare Moon. They will find him, and when we're together one again, we will fear no evil... for true love conquers all."

The view dissolved to the arching castle in the middle of the city... panned past a Crystal Heart wrapped in black chains... and rose into a throne room, where a dark figure sat on a throne. His eyes snapped open suddenly, green and red with evil purple mist flowing from the corners.

A block of ice slammed down and filled the camera view. Glowing patches carved letters into the ice: "World of Horsecraft: Wrath of the Crystal King"

While all of that was sinking in, Rainbow Dash pressed her push-to-talk key. "We're gonna need a bigger raid."

Author's Note

http://alexwarlorn.deviantart.com/art/Zecora-Everfree-Druid-464129919

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 28.0 Ardashir (with one line by me)
Session 28.1 BrutalityInc (DISCLAIMER: I actually started this and completed most of it months ago, but I've been force to go on and off of it repeatedly due to writer's block, other obligations and real life matters. Just decided to polish off the remaining segment last half hour. For reference, this is based on the classical 1977 tabletop military sci-fi game O.G.R.E.. O.G.R.E. resources, including rule-book, lore and gamer strategies, could be found here.)
Session 28.2 Mtangalion and SomeRandomMinion (edits by me) REDITED BY MTANGALION!
Session 28.3 Alex Warlorn
Session 28.4 Kendell2
Session 28.5 Mtangalion

Cover image by cheezedoodle96

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Session 29

Session 29.0 Kendell2

"Uh, Twilight...is this game really about being a Changeling Queen?" Applejack asked, looking at the game sitting in front of him called 'The Hive Queen'.

"Yes, but this one is different," Twilight explained, looking excited. "This one was actually given to me from Empress Black Rose, and it's something she and her children made using a crownfunding thing to try and repair some of the damage to their species reputation Chrysalis caused."

Twilight opened it and took out the instructions. "You DO play as a Changeling Queen and try to maintain your hive, but you have multiple paths you can take. You can be like Supia and be a beloved guardian of ponies who give your hive love freely, or you can be a symbiote living alongside ponies. Or just hide among ponies and feed off ambient love."

"What about Cicada's hive?! Can we be like them?!" Pinkie Pie asked, having very much liked the massive party she'd had with that hive.

Twilight nodded in agreement. "That's right. You can also play Chrysallis' way, and Chrysalis DID give some say...but her sisters only let her on the condition that route is the absolute hardest route with the biggest consequences. Chrysalis' sisters hate her."

"No surprise," said Rainbow Dash.

"She DID kinda make all their lives harder with that stunt. The point of the game is that you need to measure and plan to keep your hive afloat and deal with challengers to your rule, arranging heirs. Empress Black Rose also provided advice you can take when you need it, just like her children can." She left out that the Conquest Route's advice consisted of 'This is a horrible idea, don't do it'. "It's an interesting concept and should be helpful in showing Changelings AREN'T all evil."

Session 29.1 Brutality Inc

"I'm so glad you're able to join us for our game, Miss – I mean, beg pardon, your highness!" Apple Bloom said, somewhat nervously, to the guest who is following behind her in the orchard.

"It is a pleasure, young Apple Bloom." Empress Blackrose/Rosedust replied happily to the young earth-pony, her smile beaming even in her true form, "And it is quite alright, little one. I may be a mother goddess, but I can make an exception with you and your friends, especially considering all the hospitality your family has shown. Thank you for your clan's welcoming reception."

"You're welcome, Ms Rosedust! It's what we Apples do." Apple Bloom said, "I'm just happy we get to meet someone as nice and kind as you!"

"You're very welcome." Rosedust beamed a warm smile, one so radiant that it almost seemed the Apple trees in the orchard got a little more green and healthy just from being near it. Such is the effect a being like a mother goddess would have on the world around them, it seems.

Say what you will about the Apple clan – stubborn, proud and honest to a fault – but few would remember that hospitality is also sacred to them, so long as said guests done them no wrong, no matter who or what they are.

Though a visiting Changeling royalty/divinity is definitely a first, their experience with the Alicorn Princesses notwithstanding. According to the letter from Princess Twilight, seeing first Queen Chrysalis, then Queen Supia and Queen Cicada breaking the masquerade, many other Changeling Queens and their hives are also coming out of the shadows they have hidden in for centuries to interact with the wider world.

Needless to say, as the mother goddess of all Changelings, Empress Rosedust was happy with this development - She always wanted her children to come out more often and interact with other races much less antagonistically. It also allowed her to reconnect with Changeling Queens – her daughters – that she had been out of touch with for so long, like Queen Supia for instance.

Which was why she was here in Ponyville; a few more of her daughters have come out in Griffonia and Zebrica, and she wanted to purchase souvenirs and gifts for when she visit them. While at it, she plan on apologizing on behalf of Changelingkind for the troubles her daughter Chrysalis caused to Ponyville, and establishing more cordial relationships with the Mane Six.

Right now, in Sweet Apple Acres, Rosedusts' ministers are discussing with the Apple clan about samples of exotic Equestrian apples, and maybe even more permanent trade. Meanwhile, she was following Apple Bloom to join her friends in a tabletop game, which seemed to be all the craze in Equestria lately.

But Apple Bloom didn't just invited Empress Rosedust over for a tabletop game. She and her friends had lots of questions about her and the changelings, and she felt compel to ask one as they walked.

"Although... it does seem a bit... odd." Apple Bloom began, careful with her words, not wanting to offend a mother goddess, "You are so nice and kind, and so many of the other Changeling Queens, except Chrysalis, seems to be the same as you as well..."

"I mean, you and the changelings are actually so approachable, and yet, most things we heard about changelings, even the nice ones, is how they like to disguise themselves as other ponies, moving among other peoples and kingdoms. The few accounts by people who do know they exist seem to speak of your kind in such terrified tones..."

"And you're wondering why we kept ourselves so secluded for so long, hidden from the rest of the world? And why other people seem to be so afraid of us?" Empress Rosedust completed the question for her.

"Yeah, that's right!" Apple Bloom nodded.

"Well..." Rosedust said, not sure where to begin. Normally, this would be a sensitive subject to changelings, but she didn't mind Apple Bloom for asking. If anything, she's rather impressed by the young filly's courage, curiosity and intuition, not to mention her audacity to ask HER, her kind's progenitor, about it.

"It's... rather complicated. Mostly, it boils down to the fact that despite our actual disposition, we're... not exactly pleasant to look at." She took a moment to look at her reflection in an orchard bucket half-filled with water, beholding her changeling appearance in all its grotesque glory.

"Also, we needed love to survive, and the only way we can get it is to disguise ourselves as others with our magic. People in general are scared of shape-shifters; shape-shifters can replace their friends and loved ones, and they won't even know it. And once they do, they'll question everything they know about them; was their love and care genuine, or just play pretend, falsehoods weaved to get close to them? What happened to their true love, if they even existed at all? Where does the lie end and the truth begin?"

"The aura of revulsion and untrustworthiness clings to us like sweat, even if the changelings truly came to love those whom they deceived and harvested from. In the past, I and some of my daughters had revealed ourselves to others, hoping to gain acceptance." The Changeling Empress shook her head sadly, "Mostly, they rejected us completely and threw us out. Our very existence had become synonymous in their myths and legends with sinister evil and deceit. Your people are the first ones who had ever given us a chance – well, a second chance, considering what happened."

"I'm sorry about that." Apple Bloom said. Internally, she was kicking herself, now realizing she had brought up painful memories in her guest.

"It is alright. Dispelling such fears is one of the reasons I have my subjects design ‘The Hive Queen' that your sister and her friends are playing. And out of us all, there are a few... bad apples, lost children of mine who fit people's perception of evil changelings to the letter; the ‘Unseelie', as those on the islands of Cassiterdes called them. You are acquainted with one of them." Rosedust sighed, "I do think my daughter Chrysalis had given your kind a very bad first impression of ours. If you had ever see her, or any one of us changelings as monsters, I can understand."

"... You are not a monster, Ms Rosedust." Apple Bloom said reassuringly, "At least, I don't think you are."

Apple Bloom didn't know it, but she just spoke the kindest words anyone could say to a Changeling, let alone their mother goddess.

"Thank you again, dear Apple Bloom." Empress Rosedust finally said. As they approached the treehouse, she decided to change the subject. "So, what game do you and your friends have in mind?"

"An adventure game! It came out of nowhere, like that Zarathura game we played some time ago, but it sounded fun!" Apple Bloom explained, "It's called ‘Shadow Of Brimstone'. Basically, in the story, ponies of a frontier mining town called Brimstone found a mysterious new ore called Dark Stone, which they greedily dug it up for profit. But unknown to them, it has strange, sinister properties, and when they piled too much of it, the Dark Stone exploded, consuming the town in a magical cataclysm that tore rifts to other worlds and unleashing all kinds of monsters and darkness onto the world! Now we play as buckaroos, buffalo tribals, saloon gals and other sort of wild frontier adventurers, going to fight the evils off in the deserts, dark mines and even other worlds, and make a profit while at it!"

"Sounds very fun, I look forward to it!" Empress Rosedust said cheerfully. Although, in the back of her mind, something nagged at her.

‘It came out of nowhere...?'

= = =

Meanwhile, in the treehouse, three individuals are having a different conversation, while they waited for Apple Bloom to join them.

"... And that's how we nearly got Ms Cheerilee and Big Macintosh married on Hearts and Hooves Day." Scootaloo finished recounting one of their least proud shenanigans to the third person in the room.

"Although given what happened the other day, with her joining all the mares fighting over Big Mac while three dragon ladies fought over Spike, I would say that we were only partly successful in curing them of the love poison's effects." Sweetie Belle added

For his part, the third person was grinning like a loon, "Well, it certainly sounded like a riot!"

"Yeah..." Scootaloo shifted uncomfortably. Then she remembered something, "Hey, Sweetie, did you remembered how did the Hearts and Hooves Day Story ended?"

"I... don't know. I think we never finished reading the book." Sweetie Belle admitted, rubbing the back of her head, "We rushed out to stop Big Mac and Ms Cheerilee from falling in love permanently right after we read about the cure. And then Twilight kept the book from us to make sure we never do something like that again. Given what we read though, I don't think I want to know."

"Well, I'm curious." Scootaloo turned to their third guest, "And I suppose you would know the whole story better yourself, since you were around back then. Do you know what happened to the Princess, the Prince and the kingdom?"

"Know? Silly fillies, I practically had quite a claw in causing it!" He said, "Ultimately though, the choice to use the love poison was entirely their choice. I merely gave them the means. I can tell you what happened to the Princess and the Kingdom, but probably not the Prince; he sort of bugged out after the ‘dragon appeared' part, and I didn't care enough afterwards to keep track of him..."

Just as he began, Apple Bloom entered the treehouse, with Empress Rosedust in tow. "Hey girls! I'm here, and I brought a friend with me!"

And that was when Empress Rosedust found herself looking at Spirit of Chaos himself.

The patch-work chaos serpent stopped talking and gapped at her. He was dressed in a desperado costume, worn appropriately considering the game they're about to play. He also summoned a sheriff costume and saloon gal dress for Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.

For a few moments, the two god-like being stared at one another in tense silence. The world around them seemed to hold its breath.

It was the changeling mother goddess who broke the silence first.

"What... are you doing here, Discord?"

Apple Bloom backed away. Gone was the warm and softness in Rosedust's voice; in its place came the hard and bitter voice of a Changeling Empress, one who is only barely holding her rage.

"I'm..." Discord said, uncharacteristically quiet, "I'm just here to play a game with these fillies. Nothing more!"

Empress Blackrose had stopped smiling since she came in. Now, her eyes narrowed ever so slightly too as she said, "After all the lies and tricks you pulled over the ages? I'm still finding that hard to believe."

Silence reign once more as Discord seemed to wilt slightly under her glare. Meanwhile, the CMC were having a tense conversation under their breaths.

"Is that the Changeling Empress Rainbow Dash talked about? What's she doing here?" Scootaloo whispered to Apple Bloom.

"She's visiting the farm right now for some shipments of Apples!" Apple Bloom whispered back, pointing at Discord. "I want to know what he's doing here!"

"We agreed to bring him in to see if he knows anything about the game that appeared in our treehouse, and play it with us, remember?" Scootaloo replied. "It turned out even he had no idea where it came from!"

Sweetie Belle for her part was looking at the two beings, and her eyes widened with apprehension as she realized something, "Oh, no..."

"What is it? Do they know each other?" Apple Bloom asked.

"What do you think?!" Scootaloo growled under her breath, also realizing, "Last time they met, there was a dragon, and chaos reigned!"

Apple Bloom comprehended, and her face paled with horror, like someone who had just caused a catastrophe.

If Empress Blackrose and Discord heard anything they were saying to each other, none of them showed it, too focused they were with one another. Then, Discord sighed, "I suppose... you want me to apologize."

Blackrose scowled. It's hard not to when facing the one who had caused the accursed fate that descended upon you and your people, "Do you think it would make any difference by this point, even if you're sincere?"

"Not really, I would imagine." Discord said, shrugging apologetically. "I had been apologizing to a lot of people, lately. And making amends." Then, he added, "I can try and change you all back. Turn you all back to what you originally were, I mean."

The Changeling Empress considered this proposal for a moment. Then, she shook her head. "It's too late for that, serpent. After everything we had endured and done, it is far too late."

She begin trotting towards him in slow, menacing steps, causing the usually confident chaos spirit to back into a corner, sweating profusely.

"I had come to terms with what we become, as had my daughters, and my subjects, and my own role in causing this to happen."

Her horn started to glow, grabbing Discord's head and turning it to face her. He's too stupefied to try and break free of her grip.

"But you played your role, instigating that horror, all for your amusement. There are so many things I wanted to do to you, to make you pay for what you have done."

The CMC trembled as her shadows seemed to grow behind her, darkening the room and twisting into a monstrous shape of scythes, fangs and claws.

"I have spent ages preparing for the day when I may face you again, difficult as it may be, given how powerful you are."

Sweetie Belle winced as her horn ached from the utterly immense power building up in the room, coming from the Changeling Empress.

"The only thing holding me back from having my revenge, right now, is the promise by the Alicorn princesses that you have changed for the better... and my desire not to harm or destroy anyone or anything more than I already had done, thanks to you."

As abruptly as she began, she stopped, letting Discord drop on the floor and stepping backward, as the room seemed to return to normal. Looking at the terrified fillies in the other corner of the treehouse, she took a deep breath and sighed.

"So please, Discord. Do good, be good and stay good. Don't repeat your sins..." Discord almost whimpered at her next two words, "Or ELSE."

As her anger passed, for a moment, Apple Bloom could see the Changeling Empress' face flash with what seemed like a life-time of guilt, loss and regret.

"So, I hear something about a game of buckaroos fighting monsters?" She suddenly said cheerfully, seemingly returned to her happy, mirthful and approachable Empress Rosedust persona.

The CMC and Discord looked at each other. Then, in quiet consensus, they moved towards the game box and opened it up to play, lest they upset the lovely, friendly, and utterly terrifying Changeling Empress any more than they already had.

If that's the mother of all Changelings, Apple Bloom thought to herself, I do not want to know what the FATHER of all Changelings is like!

= = =

In a saloon in Appleloosa, a black pegasus flicked his ear as he felt something. Dismissing it, he gave a thin, confident smile as he presented his cards on the table.

"Well, I'll be!" Braeburn muttered as he saw the spread. He showed his and tossed it onto the table. "I fold."

"So do I." Promontory the train pony followed.

"As do I." Sheriff Silver Star said, completing the game. "Allow me to first to say that I never seen anyone play as good as you do, until now, that is. That's four rounds in a row!"

"Thank you kindly for your compliments. It is no big deal; I have been learning how to play this for... quite some time." The black pegasus explained. "When you travelled as long and far as I had, you pick up a few tricks."

"Just like how you picked up those mares, huh?" Promontory said, blushing slightly from the whiskey he drank. Behind the pegasus, some mares were gossiping giggling and looking in the strangers' direction, "I swear, all those gals looked almost like they would fall over each other to have your company after that stunt you pulled."

"I noticed." He said, shrugging "But I merely piqued their interests. A lady is not a prize to be won at all costs, after all, but an equal to which one must earn respect and admiration for there be true love."

"Aren't that the gospel truth! And have you any, mister?" Sheriff Silver Star inquired.

"I had a few companionships over the years." He answered, "But... nothing lasting."

"That's a pity." The sheriff took a drink before continuing, "You look like an honorable sort, a respectful young gun. You'll make a good husband if you commit."

"Well, I never stay in one place long enough for that form of obligation to work." The wanderer said, "There was one, from a very, very long time ago. But... let's just say, considering what happened, I want to leave it behind, as far away as I could."

Braeburn raised an eyebrow ever so slightly.

He didn't know if the others picked it up, but there was something... unusual about the fourth player. Sure, the black pegasus was unusually tall, and unusually good-looking, but you meet these folks every now and then.

No... it was the way he carried himself. He was impeccable, in both his speech, his manners and even the way he dressed, reflecting a sophistication that might make even those snooty high culture ponies in Canterlot jealous.

And yet, despite this, he was a gentle-colt through and through, and a very charismatic one at that; despite being a total stranger, new to town, he found many ponies in the saloon, even himself, warming up to him from the moment he entered the establishment.

He didn't make himself the center of attention, but he was making quite an impression; Braeburn swore the saloon mares had positively swooned when he dealt with a drunk ruffian who was making advances on them quickly, and then offered to buy them all a drink.

Did Braeburn mentioned said drunk ruffian was a strong, bulking earth-pony head taller than he was, aggressive to a fault, and probably strong enough to fell a tree in one buck? The pegasus just gave him a glare, said a few words of warning that Braeburn couldn't catch, and that stallion just backed off and stumbled out of the saloon in a hurry.

Was he using some sort of mind-control? There was something in those intense green pupil eyes that just didn't feel right; in fact, nothing about him felt right. It's almost as if... he wasn't a pony, and everything he saw is an illusion, a veneer hiding something beneath – something eldritch. The air shimmered around him, like his very existence was unnatural, warping the world and everyone around him just by his presence. No-pony else even seem to notice there was anything out-of-place.

He could tell that something was wrong, but he couldn't tell exactly WHAT was wrong. He just couldn't read him, and Braeburn prided himself in his ability to read others. Braeburn is one of the Apple clan, after all, and as Applejack could attest, many of the Apples had an affinity in seeing things that others couldn't.

That was partly why when Promontory invited him over to play poker, Braeburn, one of the best poker players in the clan, found himself wrong-hoofed at every turn. Braeburn felt like he was an open book to the stranger, like he knew how he was feeling and thinking.

Sure, he and the others managed small-talk with him, conversing about all sorts of subjects that he himself seemed to know much about as they play, but he didn't seemed any way distracted from winning many rounds with unnatural skills. And when they tried asking questions, he deflected many of it with little effort, like a seasoned politician, making nothing known about himself. He had an uncanny ability to turn Braeburn's own questions in particular back on him, without any hostility, which tripped him up even further and cause him to lose.

Everything about him remain a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma, and Braeburn couldn't uncover it; Braeburn couldn't even see what cutie-mark he has under his damned clothes. And had they even remembered to ask his name?

Well, he did seem to have an unusual interest in him when it's apparent Braeburn noticed something wasn't right about him and tried to find out. The stranger almost seemed amused by Braeburn's efforts to know more about him; he made it a game to hide everything about himself, but still baiting Braeburn with just enough to keep him asking and wondering.

Well, the game's finished now, and he was collecting his earnings.

"You've got to teach us some of those tricks if you swing by Appleloosa again." Promontory said.

"Maybe I will. I thank you all for the company and hospitality, but I must get going." He said, somewhat apologetically, in that smooth, refined baritone voice of his. "I have some business to attend to. If you'll all excuse me, I shall take my leave from here."

"Are you sure you want to go, good sir? It's raining hard out there!" Silver Star called out to him as he moved to the door to pick up his things. As if on cue, there was a flash of lightning a roar of thunder in the distance.

"I appreciate your concerns, but I will be alright. I doubt there are much out there that would give me trouble." He said, giving yet another of his rather smug, disconcerting smile.

"Must be something pretty damned important." Braeburn muttered to himself, only to find the pegasus giving that look straight at him for his trouble that made the hair on his mane stand up.

"Just a private errand, that is all. And it is a matter that is best not pried, especially by the overly curious." He said, as he put on his coat and hat, "‘See y'all', as this gentle-colt here seem so fond of saying." With a tip of his hat, he turned and trotted off into the wind and rain, disappearing into the darkness of the night.

Braeburn bristled somewhat at the obvious dig at him, but the moment the door closed, he found himself and others suddenly slumping into their chairs, as if a switch was flipped off, and a floodgate which had held back a tide of exhaustion opened.

"Well, I guess it's getting late." Sheriff Silver Star said, "Let's hope this ‘ere rain ends soon so I can go home and get to bed. Sweet Celestia, I feel like I want to get a room and sleep here for the night right now!"

It wasn't late. It was only just after supper, and Braeburn was surprised that he, a healthy earth-pony farmer with the strength and stamina to match, was suddenly so tired so early. He looked around, and saw the reverie suddenly dying down; the saloon mares who had been so energetic dancing on stage a moment ago stopped to sit down, exhausted and panting. The pianist stopped playing the tunes to rest. Several ponies fallen asleep almost instantly on the bench. Even the bartender, used to work overnight, was yawning.

It's as if the whole saloon had been... drained, of all emotions and energy. And it happened the moment that black pegasus stepped out of the place.

"Did you guys feel that there's something very weird about that guy?" Braeburn asked.

"Not really," Promontory muttered, feeling sleepy, "Even if he was, he's hardly the weirdest... oh, that reminds me; have you heard about that new magical rock my cousin dug out in the mines up north? Strangest thing, he showed us a sample of the stone; dark as the starless void, yet seems to have some sort of black glow. It looked like something not from this world..."

Braeburn didn't hear the rest; he just stared at the door, still thinking hard about the mysterious stranger.

Session 29.2 Alex Warlorn

"Uh... girls..." Starlight Glimmer said awkwardly. "I think I broke the game..." She pointed at the Hives board game... smoking rising form the center.

"What did you DO?" Spike exclaimed.

"Well... I set it to 'solo-mode' like is an option... and I took the conquest path... and the game kept screaming at me how I would fail, and well... you know how that is... I used propaganda rather than direct military force, got several ponies to become love batteries willingly who were at the bottom rung of society anyway... you know, the desperate, those unsure of themselves, those looking for a direction in life... Most ponies will trade freedom for comfort as long as they're given a choice in the matter... then with their votes I began to change the Equestrian legal system to favor the changelings... by the time I had all Equestria's population now basically love-cattle swearing their undying love for their changeling overlords ... I think I made the game have a nervous break down."

-

"HOW DID SHE DO IT?!" Chrysalis screamed via 'Spike-Cam' she was amazed no one had discovered yet, including her mother. She also now knew more about Mahjong than she had ever wanted to know. "How did she conquer a simulated Equestria where I keep failing?!"

"I think she succeeded by ASKING NICELY my queen," said the ever-loyal changeling guard Locust. He then ducked and covered waiting for his queen's violent response... but none came.

The changeling queen thought about it for a time. "... Not worth it." She finally deadpanned.

Session 29.3 Kendell2

"So, what are we doin'?" Applejack asked, sitting in front of Rainbow Dash, the two preparing to play a Megamare video game, the latest in their rivalry. However, this time, Rainbow Dash had had an idea to 'spice things up' a little bit.

Namely, several buckets of liquid rainbow. AKA, the hotest edible substance known to ponies that you didn't need to sign a release form to taste.

"Well, the me from that other universe said a few humans do this challenge where they try to beat each other and the loser has to eat some really ridiculously spicy pepper, so I thought, peppers? We've got something hoter than that! So let's try it!" Rainbow said, giving a smirk. "Unless you're chicken!"

Applejack smirked. "Yah no Ah ain't! Let's do it!"

"Alright, whoever beats the level slowest has to drink an entire glass of liquid rainbow, deal?"

"Deal!"

Nurse Red Heart gave an annoyed sigh as she had to treat first degree burns on the two mares, both drinking an entire gallon of milk. The third one each of them had drunk. "Why did you both drink an entire glass of liquid rainbow?!"

"Because we got the exact same time and we made a bet..." Rainbow Dash said, stopping drinking only long enough to say that before trying to put out her burning mouth.

Session 29.4 BrutalityInc

"Supia? What do you want from me now?!" Queen Chrysalis exclaimed with shock as the towering giant Changeling queen stared down at her.

"My apologies, Chrysalis-san, but our honorable Kotaigo was rather disappointed in your latest atrocity, that of emotionally scarring Ojo Twilight Sparkle's apprentice for your own amusement." Queen Supia declared coldly, her mandibles twitching with irritation. Even she was appalled by Queen Chrysalis' new low. "Mother has boundless benevolence, but you are a fool to assume she has no limits."

"And... she sent you here to punish me?!" Queen Chrysalis realized her intent.

"Kotaigo is currently busy, so the duties of discipline has fallen on my shoulders. She reckoned a stern talking-to is sufficient, but she had given me free rein to choose any sanction as I see fit." Supia said, even as she summoned and drawn out a paddle, massive but in proportion to Queen Supia, from a mid-air sphere of green flames, "Personally I wish to eat you alive, but for this matter, spanking your backside would suffice, fitting for any cruel, spoiled Gaki like you. Don't worry, Chrysalis-san; I promise on my honour to be gentle... For a given kaiju-sized value of ‘gentle', that is."

Queen Chrysalis stared with horror at the giant paddle, before she scowled defiantly at Supia, "No! I am a Queen! And I refuse to submit to such humiliation!"

"And how do you plan to stop me, Chibi-Chrysalis?" Queen Supia asked mockingly, raising an eyebrow, "Send your armies of minions to be trampled beneath my hooves? Blast me with magic that would barely caress my chitin? Fly away on shape-shifted wings which I could easily overpower with my telekinesis? You know avoiding punishment from me is futile."

Supia was surprised when Chrysalis suddenly grinned with glee, "Not when I am your equal in power!"

Behind Queen Chrysalis, the door swung open, and a servant rushed in to bring an artefact for his Queen. Supia couldn't recognize it, but its similar design to the artefact lost in Griffonstone would instantly identify it to anyone who knew: the Idol of Astra, which some Changelings had discovered by chance much earlier.

Queen Chrysalis hadn't had much time in unravelling its magical secrets for her own use. But what little she discovered would suffice for THIS occasion, "Behold the Idol of Astra! Now, Supia, you would know the folly of challenging your more superior long-lost sibling! Tremble as I drink power from this artefact and become greater still!"

Before Supia could stop her, Chrysalis casted her spell. The silver-colored idol glowed as power flowed from it and into Chrysalis' horn, and Chrysalis started to laugh maniacally as she begin growing larger, increasing in size until she matches Queen Supia in height...

But Queen Supia's look of shock at this development turned to mirth, when she saw that Queen Chrysalis failed to account for the fact that she was standing on the balcony of her palace – a balcony that was not built to support her now increased mass. Chrysalis' maniacal laughter turned to a yelp as the floor collapsed beneath her, followed by her tumbling backwards and crushing more parts of her palace with her backside, sending her guards and servants flying in all directions.

"Not used to being as gigantic as I am, don't you Chrysalis-san?" Supia quipped, "Clumsy fool...where can you sit your superior posterior now? I bet you had probably just flattened your own throne room!"

"You insolent, oversized worm!" Chrysalis seethed with indignant rage as she stood up, coughing in the cloud of dust and brushing masonry and dazed changeling minions off herself, "I'll make you pay for the damages you make me cause! And once I kick you out of my domain and crush Equestria under my hooves, I'll come over to demolish your palace!"

"You'll do no such thing. At least now, with you equal in size, I no longer had to hold back when I spank you." Queen Supia stated simply, "And though I know you don't value your subjects, do you truly wish to see more of your precious stronghold and hive destroyed in our upcoming battle?"

Chrysalis wanted to object, but then she realized that Supia had a point; she couldn't afford the damage that their inevitably destructive kaiju-fight would cause. A hive takes time and effort of thousands of her minions to build and maintain, after all, along with it all the essential harvest fields, forges, workshops and other logistical support for the army that she'll need to conquer Equestria and other lands. She was surprised to realized that she was also worried about her now tiny children – including her latest heir – getting caught in the crossfire.

"... I suppose you have another proposal to settle our differences?" She asked grudgingly.

"How about a game of Changeling Go, Chrysalis-san?" Queen Supia suggested. "You win, and I'll leave. You lose, and I'll proceed with the spanking."

"Changeling Go?" Chrysalis asked. She knows how to play, but she reckoned this version would be different.

"I play it with my heirs and ministers all the time during intervals of rest." Queen Supia explained, "It is played like normal Go, but with a few differences: through Changeling magic, or just Changelings, given our sizes, every five or ten turns, the color of pieces would flip, turning black to white or white to black, and the players of their chosen color must take these alterations into account in their strategy. And for the extra challenge, you can have four players instead of two, with the pieces changing between four colors."

The now giant-sized Chrysalis pondered this for a moment. Then, she said, "I accept. I'll get my minions to mark out an area outside, and we will settle this like Changeling queens!"

"I knew you would, my arrogant little sister." Queen Supia said as she dismissed the paddle, and summoned in its place a giant Go board, size of a stadium, "Too bad we don't have another two players on our scale; I happen to like four-player games..."

Just then, there was a whirlwind, and four airship sized figures – two giant griffons, a giant pegasus, and a giant Alicorn princess – appeared next to the two even more gigantic Changeling queens.

"Queen Chrysalis!" Gerulf the Grand Griffon, decked out in armor and weapons, declared, "I, Gerulf the son of Boreas, has come to demand you and your kind return the Idol of..."

He paused at the sight of the two giant changeling queens, staring at them incredulously. "... Did we missed something?"

Session 29.5 Mtangalion

The ground beneath Princess Twilight fractured, and her huge hind hoof broke through and crashed into a tunnel near the surface. Annoyed changelings swarmed out, buzzing around Twilight's legs. "Sorry about that!" said Twilight, blushing a bit. She moved her hoof, and accidentally collapsed a second tunnel. "Excuse me! Well, this is awkward..."

Gilda frowned and nudged Gerulf. "Still think you don't need any help to get that idol?"

"I might have misjudged the urgency of the situation," admitted Gerulf.

"We can totally take them!" said Rainbow Dash, shadowboxing with her forehooves. "They might be even bigger than we are, but we've got them outnumbered!"

The Grand Griffon rested his claw firmly on Dash's shoulder. "Let's not be hasty." He padded forward and bowed, ever so slightly. "Supia-san."

Queen Supia spread her titanic wings and glided forwards a pace, on her scale. "Gerulf-kun! Let me get a better look at you." She hugged the giant griffon and ruffled his crest. "My, how you've grown!"

Gerulf stiffened. "-k -kun?!"

"Sugoi! You've brought more players for our game of Changeling Go!" Supia frowned, tapping a hoof. "And a certain bothersome kitsune, I see!" Her horn glowed like a lighthouse, and Ratatoskr flew right off of Twilight's back, sailing into the air and hanging suspended before her. "Naughty Ratatoskr-chan! Twilight-chan is a very young Alicorn and knows nothing of your tricks."

Ratatoskr folded his forelimbs and chittered indignantly.

"That makes it more fun? Well, of course you would say so."

Twilight blinked slowly. "Wait, did you say 'Ratatoskr?' As in, the squirrel that races up and down the mythical world tree? What was he doing on my back?"

"Pranking you, of course," said Gerulf, scowling at the revealed floating squirrel, as if he was sorely tempted to peck him. "Ratatoskr loves to prank all of the gods, when he's not busy doing his master Discord's bidding."

Twilight looked around at Gilda, Rainbow Dash, and herself, as if she was just now seeing them all properly. "You mean... that squirrel was affecting my judgment, and that's why I agreed to grow us all into giants?!" She spun, pointing a hoof at Gilda. "And you knew I wasn't thinking straight, and you took full advantage. Gilda! What if I'd gone mad with power and trampled half of Ponyville, or hurt somepony, or..."

"Hey!" squawked Gilda, fur and feathers all fluffed up. "Settle down, Sparkles. What, you think I'm still that griffon who used to steal apples and scare old hens? Sure, it'd be cute to watch you go all 'Griff Smash!' but I wouldn't have let you do anything too bad. I care about you more than that."

Twilight gave Gilda an odd look. "You... care about me?"

Gilda flinched. "I mean, I guess we're kinda friends now, and... uh..."

Rainbow Dash giggled and started making kissy-faces. "Well, don't hold back, G! Tell her how you really feel!"

Twilight gave Dash another one of those disturbing grins. "Does somepony need a timeout from being big? Cause I can change you back right now."

Dash darted back, hiding behind an amused Gerulf. "I'll be good."

Meanwhile, Queen Chrysalis had telepathically commanded her swarm to bring her a tub of buttered popcorn befitting her new giant stature. "The blackmail videos just produce themselves," she purred. "No, don't bother looking for the cameralings." She grinned smugly. "You'll never find them all."

Twilight cleared her throat loudly. "So, about that game of Go..."

Session 29.6 Kendell2 (Back to the multiversal gaming tournament thing from a long time ago now that I've done the first chapter of Legends of the Dark Side of the Mirror:)

Prime Gilda had ended up getting into an arm wrestling contest with her other selves, currently with Nightmare Gilda. It went as well as one would expect and Gilda squawked as her claw got slammed down, but managed to fair pretty well.

"Pretty strong for some griff who hasn't had a fight," Nightguard Gilda remarked.

"Thanks...I guess..." she said, feeling a bit embarrassed.

"At least you can cook," Captain Gilda replied, blushing a little bit. "I'm known for being Equestria's best warrior, I'm probably it's worst cook..."

"And I've kinda fell behind on cooking training, shame too. Considering we've got more than mushrooms and moon related food to eat now..." Night Guard Gilda replied. "Alright, your turn!" she said to Mirror Gilda.

"Wait wait wait, so SPITFIRE?!" Prime Rainbow asked.

"O-Oh it's...it's n-nothing. H-Haven't s-seen her in forever..." Rainbow Crash said, like she was SCARED someone would hear her.

"Our Spitfire," said Captain Goodguy, appearing next to them. "Also known as 'the Blazing Terror'. She betrayed Cloudsdale to the evil Celestia you helped us defeat. Thank you for that, by the way. She is currently Celestia's second most wanted criminal after Empress Cadenza...From what Gilda's said, the main difference between you and this Rainbow is Spitfire's treatment of her."

Rainbow Dash, and Nightguard Dash, both looked horrified by the implications of that.

"So..." said Starlight Prime, her and her other two selves having a discussion about Equality. "I have a question...the spell I know can replace ponies Cutie Marks with one that brings them down to their lowest common denominator...I admit, it was foolish." Starlight Prime muttered, looking guilty. "If we're opposites, do you have a spell that can raise a pony up to their maximum?"

Mirror Starlight looked a little sheepish. "Well, yes and no..."

Her two other selves cocked their heads.

"I CAN do such a spell, but I...don't exactly know HOW I did it..." Mirror Starlight explained. "I've only done it once, and it was the result of a magic surge happening DURING another spell intended to boost the target's immune system. It turned them from having a broken immune system and asthma into...well..."

She pointed to the Gilda's where Mirror Gilda was arm wrestling her Night guard counterpart and won fairly easily. However, it was clear Mirror Gilda was holding back and using JUST enough strength to do so without harming her.

"Captain Gilda is a peak example of a Griffin now in everything. She is also Equestria's paragon of Temperance: she never uses more of that gift than the situation requires," Mirror Starlight explained. "Nor does she give into her vices and use it for self gain or evil...and you know that best part?"

The other two Starlight's cocked their heads. "What?" Nightmare verse Starlight asked.

Mirror Starlight smirked. "The spell didn't MUTATE her. It didn't CHANGE her. EVERY Griffin is capable of being just as strong and powerful as she is. She's proof of concept of my version of Equality: proof that everypony has such potential inside of them that can be reached."

The Mirror Universe version of Starlight Glimmer growled, hearing the bickering and fighting between various versions of ponies. "Hang on a moment..."

She teleported to the center. "QUIET!" she yelled, horn lighting up and doing the same 'hold everyone in their telekinesis' spell Twilight Prime had used before to the fighting alternate selves.

Princess Twilight blinked in confusion. "So this is what this spell feels like..."

"Now, calm down everypony," Mirror Starlight said, with the authority of a stern drill instructor. The Mirror Mean Six who'd been fighting instantly settled down, collectively looking like Mirror Starlight was somepony they didn't want to clop off. "We're here to have fun, not beat each other up."

She let them go and teleported back to the other two Starlights. "I also have developed a training regiment to bring that out, which I've been practicing myself. Every member of Our Town is working towards this common goal."

"Alright, everypony! We've decided on a game!" said Prime Discord. "We will be playing O&O! Prepare your characters and get ready! And remember: the morality system is inverted for the ponies from Good Guy's universe! Mirror universe and all."

Session 29.7 Ardashir

Deep inside the Changeling Hive, Chrysalis was having a temper tantrum over yet another game.

"WHAAAAT??" Loyal Changelings fled in all directions as Chrysalis picked up the Princess Cadance quest cards for 'Alicorn Princess'. "'Tea party with foals'? 'Foalsit Celestia's student'?" Her eyes started turning crimson with rage. "'Stand there and look pretty'? WHO WROTE THIS DRIVEL?"

Nearby, the hive's chief (mad) scientist Dr. Kabuto dared to look out from under the royal feast table, ignoring the charmed zebra stallion lying on it.

"Your Madjesty?" When Chrysalis didn't start blasting him, he dared to add, "They're belittling one of your enemies, aren't they? So really, isn't that something to be happy about -- URRK!"

He kicked feebly as Chrysalis used her magic to drag him over to hover before her, eye to eye.

"It! Is! NOT!" Kabuto winced as spittle sprayed all over him. Chrysalis snarled. "I defeated Cadance before I defeated Celestia! This 'game' makes her look like a silly, weak-minded fool, incapable of being a threat!"

"But you defeated her," Kabuto hissed out, reminding himself to modify his base form for an extra oxygen reserve if he lived through this. "So she couldn't be THAT much of a threat --"

He closed his mouth five seconds too late. A moment later the shrieking Kabuto impacted into the far wall hard enough to leave a Kabuto-shaped impression in it.

"See!" Chrysalis shook herself, her carapace a-shiver in her anger. Changelings began to peek out from their hiding places as she said, "If Cadance is made to look weak, it implies that I am weak! Any fool can defeat a spineless dolt." She took a deep breath and yelled, her voice echoing through the Hive, "I! defeated! An ALICORN! Not some, some..." she snarled, "some teenaged foalsitter!"

"Gather the horde! We have business in Equestria!" She ignored the miserable groans from the assembled Changelings. "If those miserable ponies refuse to understand how great I and my enemies are, I WILL FORCE IT DOWN THEIR MUSICAL LITTLE THROATS when they see me defeat Cadance before their very eyes!"

Back in Ponyville...

"So, Twilight -- how is your sister in law doing?"

Twilight Sparkle shook her head sadly. Starlight Glimmer patted her on the withers.

"Not good. Cadence's been acting kind of odd ever since reading those quest ideas for that 'Princess' game." Twilight shook her head with a sigh. "It hurt her to think that ponies only see her as the 'pretty pink princess'."

"What? That's ridiculous!" Starlight's horn glowed and one of Twilight's books floated off the shelves and to her. "Why, she wrote the book on modern diplomacy and how to handle delicate negotiations! She dealt successfully with the Yaks, the Minotaurs, even those Diamond Wolves! I studied her works before I ran off to found, er, my little social experiment. I used to know 'Strength Through Harmony' by heart." Starlight shook her head in disbelief. "Wait, what do you mean by her 'acting kind of odd'?"

"She thought that if she acted like the other princesses, she'd get more respect," Twilight used magic and showed two images of Cadence. In one, she wore golden barding as she asked her Crystal ponies questions about friendship and ate cake. In the other, the CMC fled with yells of panic as Cadence appeared in their dreams and tried offering advice.

"Er, okay, that's pretty bad," Starlight said. "At least she hasn't tried going Nightmare yet. Has she?" Starlight sagged in relief as Twilight shook her head. "And she hasn't acted like you..."

"Spiiiiike!" Unicorn and Alicorn jumped as Cadence entered the lower chamber. She wore her mane in a cut like Twilight's and had a saddlebag filled with books hanging over her flank. The look in her eyes was slightly crazed. "I need you so I can send my report to Aunt Celly -- I mean to 'dear princess Celestia'." She removed one of the books from her bag and waved it on high in victory. "I can't wait to show her everything I've learned about friendship!"

She trotted out, even moving like Twilight used to. Twilight shuddered.

Starlight cleared her throat.

"How's she taking care of Flurry Heart while dealing with, er, you know?"

"Shiny's looking after her, and so are a pair of Diamond Wolf nannies. Turns out they're really good at foalsitting. At least they're safe..."

Back in the Frozen North, a massive horde of Changelings huddled together, fangs clattering as Chrysalis pressed on for the Crystal Empire, ignoring the icicles starting to hang from her horn.

"M-m-madjesty, can we pl-pl-please ask for d-d-directions? It's b-b-been s-s-six hours!"

"No! And stop asking if we're there yet, we'll get there precisely when I want to! I'm the Queen," she said as they passed the same piece of black crystal for the seventh time, "I never get lost!"

Session 29.8 Mtangalion

In his private chambers, Prince Erik of the Diamond Wolves paced, growling mildly with silver fur bristled. It seemed like he'd been doing that a lot lately, especially since his second-best infiltrator, Alisa, had gotten herself caught... twice! ... and started playing an entirely different game on him.

Like their Diamond Dog cousins in the south, Diamond Wolves had built great underground cities for themselves. Prince Erik's pack had dug theirs beneath the frozen north centuries ago with their natural earth and ice magic and named it Icehome, rather unimaginatively, Erik thought. Deep in the ground, there was security and warmth, safety from the harsh winter blizzards, room for wolves and penned meat animals and mushroom crops all... hunting alone couldn't sustain them, not in this land.

"Damn Alisa," he muttered. "What I wouldn't give for..." His ears pricked up.

There, in that shadowy patch his glowgems didn't illuminate! Another male wolf burst from cover, fangs out and silently gathering himself to pounce!

Prince Erik scowled at the darker gray-furred intruder. The moonstone on his golden chain glowed, and icy mists flash froze, pinning the other wolf in place. "Iosif, what do you think you are doing?"

Iosif struggled a bit, whining sheepishly. "Great Prince Erik, you tell me to attack you often when you least expect, to keep you sharp!"

Erik facepawed. "I also tell you to stop doing that. Was very annoying."

Iosif grinned, wagging his tail, or trying to, it being half-frozen. "Then, prince definitely didn't expect it!"

Erik waved a forepaw dismissively, and the ice binding Iosif shattered. "I have more important game to worry about. Can't you see?" He gestured towards the huge stone table he'd been pacing in front of. A hexagonal grid was carved into its surface, with a map of the surrounding terrain painted on top of that, and dozens of miniature figures, each occupying its proper space. Nearly a third of the map still had fresh paint scent from when he'd added the Crystal Empire.

"Diamond Wolves have many pups recently. Icehome is too crowded!" He waved a paw at the many Diamond Wolves miniatures surrounding the larger crystalline figurine of himself. "We dig new caves, but they are too cold, not insulated and fortified! We need more glowgems, more furs and animals, more time. Cold wolves complain about working hard!"

"But right when we're having troubles, poof! Crystal Empire, right on doorstep!" Erik jabbed a claw towards the miniature figures of Cadence and Shining Armor. "Ponies everywhere! And now, even vile enemy Queen Chrysalis shows up again!" He used a bit of magic to push several changeling miniatures onto the board. He'd given in to temptation with Chrysalis' figure somewhat, and painted a cartoonish meany-face on it. "What do you have to say about that, hmm?" He spun to face Iosif. "What do you think about real important game?"

Iosif scratched his nose. "Iosif thinks..."

"Yes!?" demanded Erik.

"Why does prince have so many pretty pony dolls?"

Erik lunged, getting right in Iosif's face. "They're miniatures! Important strategic miniatures! I command you, never call them dolls again!"

Iosif fell to the stone floor, yiping. "Iosif is very sorry, great prince! Iosif will never tell anywolf that prince plays with dolls!"

Erik raised a forepaw, tempted to actually swipe at the idiot, but just then, his ears picked up a great commotion outside... many wolves talking at once. He shared a puzzled glance with Iosif, and then they padded out of his chambers together and into the throne room.

A half-dozen of the younger wolves seemed to be very excited about the bundles they'd brought in, with his veteran guards and other wolves questioning them. Prince Erik padded out, head held high, and hopped into his throne, which was piled with warm furs but somehow never comfortable. "Your Prince is here!" he growled. "Explain this noise."

The young wolves bowed submissively, and one of them crawled forward to explain. "Great Prince, we have made friends with the ponies!"

Erik's jaw dropped. "You did what?!"

The young wolf nodded eagerly. Others of them started opening the bundles. "Pony Princess Cadence wanted to know all about Diamond Wolf magic and what wolves can trade. See all these things we earned, working with the ponies? Shiny gemstones! New kinds of tasty sweets! Magic rocks for heating caves, so wolves don't freeze their paws off." All the young wolves wagged their tails. "It's all thanks to wise Prince Erik, who did not forbid us from making new pony friends!"

Prince Erik quickly wiped the dumbfounded look off his face... and subtly used his magic to check his wolves and their goods for tricks and traps. He found... nothing? Was it really possible? A rival Diamond Wolf pack would *never* have been so trusting, so soon.

The old tales said that ponies were quick to befriend, naive and eager to trust. It was also said that the griffons had dared to make war on them... once, and never again. This, this was...

This was an opportunity. Prince Erik nodded, resolved. The alpha had many duties to his pack, and this was one of them. "Yes... Yes, now you see the wisdom of my plan! In fact, your Prince commands you, be ever watchful, but go forth and do more of that trading and friend-making!"

The young wolves leapt joyfully, chanting, "All hail greatest Prince Erik!" The chant spread through the hall, and Erik nodded regally. Well played, Cadence, he thought. Now, for his next move...

Session 29.9 Kendell2

"So...uh..." Spike said, sitting outside playing mahjong, this time with another member. "You know Torch and Babylon?"

The massive form of Whimsey Weatherbe (the largest dragon present by some stretch) looked at the comparably tiny tiles through a dragon sized magnifying glass. It was this reason that moved their game to an outdoor venue, as a dragon who's waist came up to the tree line playing though the window of the castle was not profitable. While not as skilled as Babylon, she was closer to Trixie's level than most ponies in Ponyville had been, in likelyhood because of her age and experience. "Yes, I do, Spike. I met him I think...right after Discord was beaten the first time."

Spike's eyes widened. "You're THAT old?"

The Weather Dragonness gave a chuckle. "Well, it's not exactly polite to ask a girl's age, Spike, but I was around Ember's age when that jerk took over, maybe a little older."

"But...that means you're over three thousand years old..."

Whimsey nodded, looking at her tiles carefully. "I think I'm closer to four thousand, don't forget you're a baby by our standards. Dragon Lord Ember here is probably not as young as you think she is..."

Ember blushed a little. "Oh, I'm as old as you think...in Dragon years...But yes, Whimsey knows my father. She's technically not under our realm of authority."

Weatherbe nodded, making her move and passing the turn on. "I don't live on an island now. You could say I'm a neutral party between these two so to speak. I used to live in a place called Willy Nilly Mountain but it got too small for me, you know how that is...come to think about it, there was a Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie there too. Probably their ancestors or something. I know I knew your ancestor."

"Really?...What was he like?"

Whimsey chuckled. "Kind of stuffy, always getting his stories messed up. Oh, and I think you actually have something in common with him come to think about it."

"Yeah?

"You both got woken up by a mare who'd become a Princess if Twilight's story of how you hatched is correct. Though Twilight didn't end up making everypony Princess once..."

(OOC: I don't know Mahjong well enough to write actual gameplay here, but I imagine Whimsey's skill level is probably pretty high, given how ancient she is.)

Session 29.10 Mooncalf99

Twilight straightened her GM screen, closed her eyes, and connected with her inner Pinkie Pie. Things had been... a little too serious lately, and it was time to get a little relief from that.

She opened her eyes and looked across the table at her players, all armed with dice and snacks. "Girls... Sunburst." She nodded at their currently sole male player, seated next to Starlight with a nervous 'am I doing this right' smile on his face. "Time to get back in the space-saddle. Do you remember what you were doing last time?"

"Ooh, ooh, me me me!" Pinkie squealed, bouncing on her throne. "Okay, we're on a quest to find a super-ultra-special rare bird somewhere in space so Trixie, I mean Bright Light, can try to woo Flutter... I mean Mane Agery, and become superpopular! But then we got captured by pirates, or maybe we boarded them? And then we fought Lego pirate ponies and Libra, I mean Ra, I mean Starlight's character tried to get them to revolt but it didn't work and the bearded female captain chased us and we shook them off and found a treasure room where this guy," she pointed at Sunburst, "was chained up, and we nicked some stuff and the pirates showed up..." Pinkie took a deep breath. "...again!"

"Uh, what did you say after 'we're on a quest'?" Sunburst asked tentatively.

"Never mind that!" Rainbow Dash said impatiently. "Let's ditch this lame pirate ship and go somewhere cooler!"

"Yeah, totally," Gilda said. "I take the driver seat on our ship and rev the engines."

"The ship is currently in Hungry's extradimensional stomach," Twilight said. "For safekeeping, remember?"

"I coil my tail around Hungry and do the Manelich Maneuver, kind of," Rainbow said.

"Hurk!" Pinkie said, playing along. "Urp... urk... blaaah!" She mimicked vomiting all over the table.

"Hungry expels your very jury-rigged ship, looking none the worse for wear... well, other than a light coating of non-Neighwtonian space-time stomach fluid, none of which has actually gotten on the seats, miraculously," Twilight said. "She also spits up the missing statue from the front school yard, some disco balls, and Gilbert the Griffon's legendary spear."

"Burp," Pinkie said. "Sorry 'bout that."

"Who's Gilbert?" Gilda asked, curiosity piqued at the mention of griffons. "Was that before I joined?"

"Yeah, he was the seventh founder of Equestria in an alternate timeline we ended up in," Rainbow said. She smiled in happy remembrance. "What a cool guy."

"Neat," Gilda said. "So, alternate continuity historical guy legendary weapon? That's awesome. Literally awesome. So I take it."

"Aw, I was saving that for a lean week," Pinkie complained.

"And while Big G's looting, I take the driver seat and start the engines," Rainbow said.

"Hey, I was gonna drive!" Gilda protested.

"Too slow," Rainbow laughed. "That's what happens when you get distracted by shinies, Gee."

"Are we trying to pretend the pirates aren't bearing down on us while we talk and play around?" Trixie pointed out. "Bright Light jumps into the back seat and braces herself. Then she yanks open the side on the Mark 86 Patho-Fusion Overthruster and gives it an injection of pure, unleaded, industrial-grade ego."

"You... you do what?" Starlight asked in stunned surprise.

"Roll... hmm..." Twilight thought for a second. "Roll Cool, I guess."

"But of course," Trixie said with a smirk, throwing her die. "Five... add six for Cool, and three for my 'Being the center of the universe' knack, gives us fourteen. How's that?"

"Yes, you definitely supercharge it," Twilight said. "The device flares a bright white, burning you for... oh wait, you don't take fire damage. The ship roars to life and rockets down the hall, crashing through a wall."

"Trixieee!" Starlight cried. "You can't leave us behind!"

"Um... oops?" Trixie said. "I assumed you were on board already?"

"I am," Rainbow pointed out.

"Yeah, the moment Hotshot here started messing around with stuff, I got in... the passenger seat, I guess."

"Okay, Pinkie, Starlight, Sunburst," Twilight said, grinning. "What do you do to get on board the ship that's about to leave? Make it good." Of course she wasn't going to let them get left behind - the party was split enough as it was - but it was always fun to see what the players did in unusual situations.

"I chomp down on the bumper with my mouth," Pinkie said. "Not hard enough to bite through, but enough to latch on like those fish that hang out with sharks."

"Remora?" Sunburst suggested.

"Gesundheit," Pinkie said. "I also stick two of my dark matter frying pans on my feet so I can glide on them. Upside-down, so the non-stick surface is against the floor. Otherwise they wouldn't stay on!"

"I just use my magnetic grapple to attach to the hull," Starlight said.

"I didn't know you had a magnetic grapple," Twilight said. "When did you get that?"

"I bought it on the space station, remember?" Starlight said. She paused, the facehoofed. "Wrong character. Never mind. Um..."

Sunburst narrowed his eyes. "I'm still chained to the floor, right?" He looked at Starlight. "Cut us loose and we'll save you, miss."

"What?" Starlight asked.

"Ship's about to leave, pirates closing in..." Twilight said. "You have about one second to act."

"Okay, okay! I shoot the chains with my zapgun!" Starlight screamed in panic. She rolled her die. "Please don't mess up, please don't mess up... eight?"

"You expertly blast apart the chains, freeing the nameless stallion," Twilight said. "A little lower and you would have freed him from his leg instead." That was a lie, of course; she would have accepted almost any roll as long as Starlight showed some initiative. But it was always good to make players feel that they accomplished things on their own. "Mystery stallion, what do you do with your new-found freedom?"

"All right!" Sunburst said triumphantly. "We grab Miss Ra with one hoof, then magnetize the other three hooves and stick to the ship with them!"

"Cool, you got magnetic powers!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"Uh, yeah," Sunburst said. "Let's go with that."

"Pinkie, since you're hanging on with your mouth, you'll fall off if you speak again," Twilight said.

"Eep!" Pinkie cried. "I mean..." She quickly stuck her hoof in her mouth. "Mmmf mmf!"

"Did... did the GM just find a way to get Pinkie to shut up?" Gilda asked in disbelief. "Awesome."

"Mmmf, mmf-ffff!" Pinkie mumbled, shooting a glare that suggested that some griffon would be in for a lot of dishwashing at Sugarcube Corner later on.

"And to summarize, we're riding a juryrigged junkheap fueled by the ego of a cosmic primadonna, piloted by two speed freaks who are too busy fighting over the controls to steer--" Trixie began.

"We are?" Rainbow asked. "Sure, let's go with that. I kick Gilzilla away from the controls."

"With what? You don't have legs, you're a space snake!" Gilda argued. "And you had the controls last I heard, anyway. Fine, I slam Wings' face into the canopy and toss him in the back."

"What's a canopy?" Rainbow asked.

"You know, the ship's roof... window... thingy," Gilda clarified.

"The thing we actually don't have, which we got on this ship to get," Rainbow pointed out. "Maybe we should've taken care of that earlier."

"Eh, no skin off my beak," Gilda said with a shrug.

"--Too busy arguing over the controls to steer," Trixie corrected, "crashing through the innards of the huge pirate ships while the pirates are in hot pursuit. And the paintjob is still a horrible mess," she added.

"An apt summary," Twilight agreed. "And the rest of the crew are barely hanging on and screaming in terror."

"Actually, since I'm disconnected from the part of me that handles fears and concerns for well-being, I don't think I can do terror right now," Starlight said. "Can I scream in excitement and exhilaration instead?"

Twilight nodded. "That's acceptable. Go ahead."

"Eeeee!" Starlight squealed happily.

"...This game is weird," Sunburst muttered.

"Mmmf," Pinkie agreed.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 29.0 Kendell2
Session 29.1 Brutality Inc (For reference, the Shadow of Brimstone game core rulebook is free for download online, right here)
Session 29.2 Alex Warlorn
Session 29.3 Kendell2
Session 29.4 BrutalityInc (Just another quickie involving Changelings and a game variant idea I have)
Session 29.5 Mtangalion
Session 29.6 Kendell2
Session 29.7 Ardashir
Session 29.8 Mtangalion
Session 29.9 Kendell2
Session 29.10 Mooncalf99

Cover image by
cheezedoodle96

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Session 30

Session 30.0 BrutalityInc

Shining Armor hummed a tune as he trotted through the hallways of the Crystal Palace, with a tabletop game and a box full of cider bottles on his back. Today was Saturday, and a particularly wonderful Saturday at that; normally, given the usual duties he had to deal with lately in his duties of regency, he’s hard-pressed to find the free-time to relax and indulge in a little escapism.

Some would say that since he become a prince (-regent) of the Crystal Empire, hitching a real bona-fide princess before that, and getting all the fame, wealth and power that comes with those two achievements, he’s pretty much hit jackpot by having the forlorn hope and dream of many stallions come true for him, and therefore really shouldn’t complain about all these little duties he had to endure. But reality has shown that it doesn’t work out as well as he or anypony would hope: He didn’t like the attention and erosion of privacy his fame brought; managing his family’s massively inflated finances had been an utter nightmare, even with all the bean-counters he hired; and power came with it the need to deal with tonnes of paperwork, endless boring meetings with ministers, and having to deal with countless scheming courtiers and spoiled nobles.

Lesser ponies had been driven mad dealing merely a fraction of the duties he must now attend to.

Between his work-load, hanging out with his wife, his parents, his sister, her friends and his buddies are the only things that gave him joy these days. But most of them had been occupied with their life lately; his wife had to take care of their child (Not that he hasn’t done his share. He does not shrink from his obligations of fatherhood), his parents are on vacation, his sister and her friends are on yet another adventure.

Which just leaves his friends, who shares all interests with him regarding games. Although lately, he’s wondering if his friendship with them is too… one note. It’s as if all he ever does with them were either playing games, or making them. But he has interests that are beyond games, like all things military – he was a Royal Guard, first and foremost, before he become co-ruler of a mystical kingdom and an Alicorn Princess’ consort. But they only understood them in gaming terms.

There are also… others who does share such interests with him more deeply. But he had not been in touch with them for quite a while, save for one occasion relatively recently, and given the rather special jobs they have, they’ll be hard to reach anyway. Which, again, leaves only his gaming friends.

Good thing my buddies aren’t as busy as I usually am, he thought to himself, I don’t know what I’ll do if I had to spend my free Saturday, utterly alone...

 Five minutes later, he found himself staring into the game room – completely empty except for the furniture. Gaffer, 8-Bit and Gizmo were nowhere to be seen.

“But… but…” He muttered, shocked and despondent, “They said they’ll come today…!”

That’s when he heard hoof-steps behind him.

“If you’re wondering what happened, it turned out that Gaffer, 8-Bit and Gizmo all got some emergency or important matter this weekend to deal with, so they couldn’t attend today’s session.” One voice said behind him.

“They wrote and sent letters to you about it, but we had the post-office intercept them.” Another voice said, “Helps we live in the same town as they are, so we caught the word fast enough to do so.”

“Sorry about that. We wanted to keep our visit a surprise.” A third voice explained apologetically. “It’s a rare opportunity for us. Not every day we all get to go on annual leave at the same time.”

“We were all wondering what to do with our free time, this Saturday and the week after…” A fourth voice added.

“So we thought that we pay our old buddy a visit.” All four voices chorused.

Somewhere, some-pony switched on a record-player, which began playing a rather popular and catchy track.

=Now playing – Seven Nations Army (Remix or Original) by The White Stripes=

Shining turned around, and beheld four earth-pony stallions.

One was a pony with a light blue coat, dark blue mane, amber eyes and two pairs of rear-facing quavers, eighth-notes, as a cutie-mark his flank. He wore sensible-looking V-necked T-shirt with a notepad and pen stuffed in its chest-pocket.

One was a pony with moderate brown coat, amber mane, apple green eyes and a guitar for a cutie-mark. He wore a jock’s letterman jacket, and carried a banjo on his back.

One was a pony with brown coat, black mane, bluish-green eyes and have two cherries for a cutie-mark. He carried two bags with him over his saddle, half-filled with books, one of them written in continental Griffonese poking out.

One was a pony with a light brown coat, a light brown, blue eyes and have three blue horse-shoes for a cutie-mark. His attention wasn’t on Shining; he was eying at the majesty of the palace he’s inside of, looking rather dissipated.

Shining know who they were instantly. Last time he saw them was at the Wedding, standing next to him along with Twilight and her friends. And before then, he stood with them on parade grounds, when they all wore cadet uniforms, through boot-camp and graduation.

His old squad, from his Royal Guard days.

“Noteworthy! Meadow Song! Cherry Fizzy! Caramel!” Shining Armor cried out in both surprise and joy, his despondency vanished in an instant, before they all cheered and gathered together for a group hug.

“Celestia and Luna, have we missed you!” Caramel said, “How long has it been since we last met? Ten years?”

“Oh come on, it hasn’t been that long ago. Barely four.” Meadow Song reminded merrily, “We were at his Wedding remember? We were his aides-de-camps! It wasn’t that long ago.”

“Oh yeah!” Caramel said, blushing slightly, “Guess I forgot again…”

“You always forget things, Caramel. Good thing I’m always around to remember things for you.” Noteworthy said, putting a hoof over Caramel. “What would you be doing without us?”

“Clowning around, I suppose.” Meadow Song supplied, “Though I reckoned we all had done a bit of that at some point in our lives. What messes we made back then!”

“They are still a hoof-full to deal with, aren’t they sergeant?” Shining Armor asked Cherry, smirking slightly, while the others reminiscent.

“You don’t know half of it, Shining.” Cherry replied, grinning and shaking his head, “We won’t deserve our squad nickname ‘The Mavericks’ otherwise. But there’s no one else I want under my command whilst we are stationed in Ponyville.”

Shining saw that they had changed little since he left them, and felt a pang of guilt for his long absence from this circle of friends. But he has every intention to make up for lost time.

“Must had been hectic, from the stuff I heard that’s happened there.” Shining Armor said.

“It’s pretty well, actually; between crises, the town’s quiet and peaceful most of the time, so the only problem of being stationed at the Ponyville Guardhouse was being bored. Often we only found ourselves helping out with mundane stuff like help setting up or running security for festivals.” Noteworthy explained.

“Of course, it was even more quieter before your sister went to Ponyville. Nowadays, there’s the occasional monster or evil overlord attack that's beyond our pay-grade to handle, or one of the Mane Six freak out and we have to help clean up the mess afterwards, or some supernatural disaster that we have to help run damage control in the background. And that’s before we talk about the more eccentric town-ponies.” Cherry reflected, “We’re just so used to the weirdness by this point. And since Twilight became Princess, there’s also a lot more visiting foreign dignitaries, like that Diamond Wolf prince or that other Changeling Queen Cicada.”

“That last one must had been a bit of a shock.” Shining Armor remarked, remembering his and Cadence’s game session with Queen Chrysalis’ mother. “I mean, Queen Chrysalis did have her goons attack the town during the Secretariat Comet passage that other time, right?”

“Another one for the visiting team…” Meadow Song muttered irritably, “They got the jump on us that time. It was nearly as bad as when that Lord Tirek came over to town.”

“But it’s not that much of a shock. There is that one changeling, Kevin, as you recall.” Noteworthy reminded, “He’s a bit slippery, but he turned out to be quite an acceptable fellow once you get to know him. Caramel nearly took his head off that one time, though.”

“Look, I forgot he lives there, okay?” Caramel insisted, “It was reflex! My training just took over when I saw him coming around the corner. Maybe it was because Sassaflash was with me at the time…”

Shining Armor’s eyes bulged at that revelation.

‘So what they said he did during the Wedding was true … he thought to himself.

“Anyway, enough chit-chat! We’re here to play a game, right?” Cherry reminded. “Games had been all the craze in Equestria ever since your sister and her friends started playing.”

“You guys will love what I planned to test out today!” Shining declared, as he went to place the game box on his back onto the table, his comrades clustering around him to see it.

What they found pleasantly surprised them.
 The game box showed a cover of a Brodie-helmeted, puttee and khaki-colored tunic wearing Equestrian soldier charging forward across a muddy, cratered battlefield against hails of projectiles and explosions. More soldiers like him were charging in the background, supported by rhomboid-hulled, long-tracked tanks with sponson armaments. In the air, airships duelled each other in blazing salvos amidst anti-aircraft explosions.  And the title...

“’Call of Battle: Duty and Honour’?!” All four exclaimed simultaneously.

“Apparently, the game company wanted to extend the franchise into table-top games,” Shining explained. “We got the honour of testing out the Beta. You lot in?”

All four Royal Guard personnel grinned. “We’re in!”

Shining grinned back, “Form up, boys. We’re going to war!”

Session 30.1 Alex Warlorn

Shining Armor asked Note Worthy, "Sooo, I heard you were seeing Lyra for a while."

Note Worthy cringed, "And then she tells me that she just wanted to be friends because... well, ya know. Wish somepony had told me!"

"... I'm sorry Noteworthy."

"Believe it or not, we ARE still friends. And I'm seeing Vinyl Scratch now."

"Wait! Note I think you should-"

"Funny story about that actually. Apparently when Octavia and Vinyl first moved in to their house, before they finished customizing it into basically two halves of two different houses, Lyra and Bon Bon gave them some welcome chocolates. Vinyl ate them all, then told Lyra and Bon Bon that she and Octaiva REALLY ARE just friends, and don't even swing that way. And it's a good thing too if you ask me, I mean, if you have a couple who has their house split right down the middle, that's a couple better off seeing other ponies."

"... That mare is an ass, not offense to donkeys."

"Hey! She's not THAT bad, she just... doesn't understand a few social things. She spends most of her time cooped up, so it's to be expected. Plus with how she... ya know... can't speak her music is how she best expresses herself to others. They asked me to set her straight, and I told her to think about what it's like when ponies keep mistaking her for a vampire, and for the record, no, she isn't a vampire. She's taken her glasses off and sunbathed with me once."

Meanwhile in the underground kingdom of the diamond wolves, a new tunnel was being opened.

Except when this tunnel's end stone wall broke open, it revealed a waiting stone-faced Yak.

"Ice dogs violate sovereign territory of Yak people. YAKS DEESSTOOORY!" The voice was heard echoing outside the very mountain. Followed by several yip, yelp, and screams for mercy.

They'd unwittingly dug right under Yakyakistan! There was a reason no pegasi, griffin, or dragon flew over Yakyakistan without express permission, even weather gremlins were allowed in only under work visas.

After the five minutes 'war' with the Yaks, the Prince of the Diamond Wolves was signing a treaty with Prince Rutherford, promising a vast tribute of mushrooms as an apology for violating Yakyakistan territory. And a number of diamond wolves would offer their services as work-paws to Yakyakistan's western-hoof-ball team next season.

Session 30.2 Alex Warlorn

Rainbow Dash asked, "Hey, think in the mirror universe, Ogres and Oubliettes is played by a buncha players putting together a dungeon, and one person controls the adventures invading the monsters' dungeon?"

Twilight Sparkle rolled her eyes. "Celestia didn't raise the moon, Luna didn't raise the sun. Pancakes weren't for dinner. And pegasi didn't borrow underground. And big sisters weren't little sisters instead. And I doubt a mystery novel is about following a character as they do their best to hide their crime. Don't take everything literally Rainbow Dash."

Session 30.3 Alex Warlorn

A long time ago

"You did it Starlight!" Bon Bon cheered.

"That was a exceptional match after all." Bright eyes said. "I guess you were the better chess player after all."

"I was terrified when he decide to have US as the chess pieces, but you still saved us AND won!" Sweetheart hugged her.

"Thanks girls," Starlight smiled. She'd kept a good poker face, but truth be told she'd been terrified the entire time.

"That's the last time I accept songs from new producers!" Melody snorted.

"I'm just happy it's over." Clover said hugging her friends. She'd been scared she'd never see Meadowlark or her family ever again.

"YOU LOST ugly! Go take a hike!" Patch snorted pointing a hoof at the dark evil on the other side of the chess set.

The terrible being growled... but a bargain was a bargain... and the terms had been if the pink pony with the yellow hair named Starlight had beaten him, he'd be banished from this world. "I have lost indeed. I am gone from this world! But I pass this parting curse! Starlight The First! One day! Not today! Not tomorrow! But one day! After you are long dead, a descendant of yours shall take your belief in fairness and equal treatment and twist it about, and bring misery and ruin to no less than seven worlds!"

"HEY YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" Patch shouted.

"I just did. Farewell! HAHAHAHAH!" The shadowy villain faded from this world.

"... Starlight I'm so sorry." Sweetheart whispered.

"... I..." Starlight stared where the evil being had been. "I'm... I'm going to find Mr. Right after all!" She grinned.

Melody rolled her eyes. "Leave it to Starlight to find the good in a curse."

Session 30.4 Jarkes

(OOC: Adding to Kendell2's multiversal game thing. I hope this doesn't contradict anything he has planned for his Mirror Universe stories. Also, I don't remember if Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns still existed in the Mirror Universe despite Celestia being evil. And I'm also not sure how to refer to the Nightmare Moon timeline Starlight as anything other than Nightmare!Starlight, which sounds more like a Nightmare version of her. I also nixed the "Nightmare Timeline Sunburst is dead and that Starlight never found out until long after the fact" idea I had because it was honestly too depressing)

"So... um..." Starlight Prime fidgeted. "Did... either of you... reunite with your own Sunbursts?"

Mirror!Starlight sighed. "I haven't found him yet, not for lack of searching. Apparently, he just kind of vanished from Celestia's School one day and nopony knows what happened to him. But I will never stop searching for him."

Nightmare!Starlight smiled. "I was a bit luckier. Turns out, my timeline's Sunburst was one of the first to figure out about the existence of the Elements of Harmony and what was necessary to find them. But this made him one of Nightmare Moon's prime targets, so he sought asylum in the Crystal Empire until our timeline's Element Bearers defeated Nightmare Moon. He came with Prince Shining Armor, Princess Cadance, and the rest of their army to help in the final battle, and that's when we found each other again."

Session 30.5 B4ssXCello

Few know of the deepest recesses under Canterlot Castle, of what lies beyond the archives and catacombs. It is a place that was lost to time, a place that plays host to the Draconequus; Discord. It was thought to be the original part of the Canterlot library, where the most important and oldest documents in Equestria were kept.

Discord rifled through some old scrolls in a deep secluded cave. The dim light did not aid in dispelling the cast shadows from scattered lanterns around the vast area. Of course, he had piles of boxes of donuts from Pony Joe’s. Golden light danced around his talons as he brought scrolls forth from the dark cavern, hoping to find a story from his youth that he remembered quite fondly.
Discord lounged in a hammock, hung between two coat racks, which rocked him as he listened to the scrolls. The texts were rolled up on what appeared to be little duck feet, and told him their contents as he laid back in mid-air, drinking a glass of chocolate milk from a nearby cotton candy cloud.

“Where could it be?” Discord said exasperatedly. “I’ve been down here for almost a week going through each and every scroll, with only one even sounding interesting. This is so… so boring, why am I the only one who remembers this tale? Ok, monologue over, so who’s next on the list?”
A scroll hurriedly waddled up to Discord and responded in a scratchy voice, like two wadded sheets of parchment rubbing against one another, “That would be me, milord.”

“Alright, well what’s your story then?” Discord said nonchalantly. “Be quick about it, I am a very busy entity and have other scrolls to listen to, so hurry up and get on with it, or stop wasting my time.”

“Well, milord, I am not so much a story, but more of a chronicling of ancient history, dating back to before even your glorious reign, oh wise one.” The scroll crackled quietly as it continued to recite, “I shall tell you of a troubled time, an era of history that was doomed to repeat itself for eternity. A loop that repeated for millennia, it locked the world in two thousand years of constant strife; for innumerable cycles.” The scroll paused waiting to see if it would be sent away like so many others.

“Well, Steve the Scroll, was it? Finish telling me your story, it sounds delightful; do go on.” Discord spoke lazily as he refilled his glass with his favorite drink.

“Right, milord, let’s see... Two thousand years before I was written, the Demon King, Chaos, came to this world and brought forth the four fiends, one for each element.” Steve stated cautiously.

“Wait, four elements? What about the element of cheese? Or bacon?`” Discord looked at Steve with a grim expression, as grim as Discord got anyway.

“Don’t worry your chaoticness, it was before the element of bacon was found, and subsequently dropped from elemental status,” the scroll assured him. “Now, where was I? Ah, yes, the four elemental fiends: Lich, the Undead Sorcerer of Earth, Marilith, the Naga of Fire, Kraken, Beast of Water and Tiamat, Dragon of Air. Each one was stealing the essence of their element, gaining power.

“Four heroes stepped forth to defeat them and restore the crystals, which were the physical manifestations of the elements to their natural state. The demon, Chaos, had seen to that, he made sure that his host was sent back in time after the heroes first crossed his path.

“He made sure the cycle would continue. He did not have the foresight to realize that the loop could be disrupted. Once the heroes traveled back and defeated him one had the idea of writing a chronicle of their adventure, of the plight and pilgrimage they made to save the world.”

“That does ring a bell, is there anything else of importance on you, Scroll?” Discord focused his attention on the seal of the scroll. “Like why your seal has more than just archaic writing on it?”

“Well you see, I was created for the sole purpose of binding Chaos’ soul so that the past may be prevented from repeating again. Should my seal ever be broken, he will return thereby causing a new Dark Age to consume the land.” The scroll crinkled nervously, wondering if the magic that animated him would be enough to break the seal.

“Well then, perhaps I should’ve paid attention to the warning of that other scroll, the one that shouted at me, ‘Do not open the other scroll, it contains the spiritual essence of the demon Chaos, any magic that would make this information known will cause the seal to break; keep the scroll of the four heroes sealed under all circumstances.’ Oh,well, I guess we all make mistakes,” Discord said with a nonchalant wave of his paw. “I guess I should tell the Princesses; but then again Little Woona and Celly are known to message the Elements over the simplest of things.”
Discord thought on his way out of the catacombs. He then came up with a brilliant idea: To make some combs in the shape of a cat, and sell them at a store he was a regular at in the market square in Canterlot. He decided to name his invention the Catacomb. As he arrived in the main part of the library with a snap of his talon and a bright flash of light and a puff of smoke, he looked around and asked the guard on duty there, “Would you by any chance like a Catacomb, dear sir?”

The guard looked a bit worried, trying to back away from the mad god, and didn’t know how to respond, knowing Discord had something planned. “I guess I will take a Catacomb, Discord?”

“You certainly may, but be warned, they are more than they appear!” Discord chortled as he tossed the comb to the guard.

“Ah, my face!” the guard shouted. “I should’ve said no!”

Discord laughed loudly, snapped his talons, and was in the throne room, at the Twilight Court, where both royal sisters hold court together for a couple of hours each evening. “Oh, Celestia, dear!” he said as he entered the throne room, waving a couple of scrolls high above his head, “I’m afraid we may have a problem and I’m not sure if your precious little Elements are going to help.”

As soon as he appeared in the room, the nobles who were petitioning the royal sisters for more money, land, and general grievances backed off as he proudly danced his way up to the sisters. Out of fear of what the so-called reformed master of pranks and disharmony could still do the nobles turned and ran from the courtroom.

“Discord, I thought I told you not to call me that anymore. Also, what did you do?” Celestia asked with disdain, not wanting trouble right at the end of her day court, and the beginning of Luna’s night court.

“Well, Discord, prithee, pray tell what is the problem?” Luna asked with a yawn, slipping into Old Equestrian. “We need to be sure it’s nothing of serious importance; my night court is just beginning, and I would prefer to not be bothered by your antics.”

“Sister, Discord usually leaves the day court alone, does he bother you at night?” Celestia asked, looking a little worried.

“Me? Mess with the royalty of the night court? Hah, never!” Discord smirked at his own sarcasm, “Why, the very thought of it is just appalling to me. Now, for the reason I came here.” Discord poofed in a puff of smoke and appeared between the two princesses, wrapping his arms around them, “ I recently came upon a scroll, with a most uncharitable and bad omen on it, hang on let me find it.” Discord left off as he started digging through pockets in his fur, scales, and a couple in his horns.

The sisters looked at one another, confused they just looked at one another and did not interfere with the machinations of the deranged, mad god.

“Aha! Here it is,” Discord stated, triumphantly holding it in his paw. “One thousand and one ways to scare a child.”

The sisters looked at Discord, horror stricken, “Wait, that’s the wrong scroll, I meant to seal this one deeper in the catacombs,” Discord chuckled, shoving it back into a pocket that was located on one of his horns, “The one I meant to pull out was this one; The Four Heroes of Light, a scroll that was never to be reopened, or read after it was written. It sealed the soul of the demon king, Chaos, from thousands of years before my time even.”

“Discord, how can we tell this isn't just another prank of yours?” Celestia spoke in a calm voice, “This does not sound unusual from you Discord, you do not have the most sterling record with telling the truth. Also, this would not be the first time you’ve tried something like this.”
“Dearest Sister, surely you believe he is just joking?” Questioned the younger one, “Though, this does sound preposterous...even for him.”
“Fine, don’t listen to me, about how the demon king, Chaos, may have escaped from his prison,” The lazy draconequus mumbled. “I guess I’ll go and talk to the elements directly then, I shall take my leave now your majesties!” He bowed down to the princesses in a mocking manner. As he turned around, the scroll itself began to glow.

As the scroll glowed, It floated to the center of the chamber, and began to emanate a golden ring that began to glow. The ring increased in size until it filled half of the throne room. As the spinning ring slowed down it was clear to see that the ring was actually a very intricate magical seal written in ancient texts, each of the cardinal directions held a colored orb. Each one meant to hold the seal on the scroll, one for each element, Fire, Water, Earth, and Air.

“THOU HAST BROKEN THE SEAL OF THE GODS, AND I THANK THEE, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY.” an unknown voice that was filled with the sound of tormented souls, “I CHAOS, KING OF DEMONS GIVE YOU MY DEEPEST GRATITUDE, FOR I HAVE BEEN RELEASED!” Just as the mysterious voice came, it vanished, leaving behind a ghostly echo of a maniacal laugh, and as it faded, the four orbs shattered, leaving behind minute traces of the elemental crystals they were made of.

“Well that was interesting,” The three deities said in unplanned unison, “Discord, I guess you were right about the threat, for once, and there is no way even you could pull off a prank of this caliber.” Celestia spoke in a dumbstruck manner.

“Are you well, dear sister?” Luna asked her sister, with a concerned look on her face.

“Yes, Luna, I’m fine, just a bit distraught, I never knew this existed. Discord! Where did you find that scroll?” Celestia directed a glare at Discord, one that would cow any mortal.

“Uhm, well...you see...I went into the library, then I followed a passage down into the catacombs and followed them all the way back into this little area that had an ancient sign reading ‘Library’ on it, I think it went so far under that it connected to the original castle in the Everfree Forest,” Discord stated, sobering up to the seriousness of the situation.

“Well, with this turn of events, I believe something will need to be done about it now,” Celestia said, exasperated, wishing Discord would actually behave for a change. “Discord… just how deep down did you really go? I thought the old libraries were destroyed when Luna went and had her temper tantrum about not being popular enough.” Celestia stood from her throne and went to grab a bottle from her secret stash of Stalliongradi Vodka behind her throne. “Luna, write a letter to the Elements of Harmony, Princess Cadenza and her sex-crazed husband, Shining Armor.” Celestia said.
“Also, the only course of action I can foresee happening is summoning the Elements and Cadenza to tell them what has transpired here.” Luna stated, hoping things could be different than they are. “I will have a letter written out to send to each of them, and have them come here as soon as possible.”

“Guard! Go and fetch a length of parchment for me! Huzzah!” Luna cried out excitedly, since things were getting interesting on her shift for once.
The guard that stood next to the door scampered across the tile floor, trying to turn around and grab some parchment for Luna from the desk near him, after he grabbed it gently in his mouth and trotted up to his princess and she used her violet magic to grab it from him. “Thank you, guard for doing this kindness for me,” Luna said gently to the guard.

“Luna, this is important, Do you wish me to stay with you until the letter is sent?” Celestia asked sleepily, trying to stifle a yawn, and poured herself another shot of the Vodka.

“No, Celestia, you don’t need to do that, I can have it sent through the green fire you seem so fond of, I am curious to try it myself, though I am unsure how to send it to multiple recipients at once.” Luna stated calmly, thinking of the most efficient and expert way of telling the other ponies what had happened, the one she didn't want to tell the most was Cadenza, her adopted niece. She thought to herself for a moment, wondering why this had to happen at the beginning of her watch, and not her sister’s.

“Hah! You’re funny, Luna, you think that Cadenza, our adopted niece will answer this letter? Well, every time I sent her one, She just ignores me! Only twilight cares enough to read the letters I send to her, and Cadenza. It’s a futile effort!” Celestia’s reply was clearly influenced by the vodka she had recently consumed

With an exasperated sigh, the younger of the sisters eagerly spoke to herself, “Well, this needed to be done, now is as good of a time as any to get this over with.” She lifted the scroll up and a quill that was magically charged so the ink would never run out. She thought for a moment, ‘What should I say?...hmm...I think this should work.’

Dear Cadenza, Twilight, and the Elements,
I have some grave news to share with you. We have unfortunately just been the recipients of a terrible curse from long ago. It was sealed inside of a scroll that bore a story of four ancient heroes, they were not the same elements as you are. They were the natural elements of Earth, Fire, Water, and Air. A portion of each of the elemental crystal was used to seal this ancient long forgotten threat: Chaos, the Demon King.
With this letter I beseech you all to come to Canterlot post haste. This is not just a matter of security for Equestria.
Sincerely,
Princess Luna

“Well, that should do the job, don’t you think so Celly?” Luna said to her gently.

“Huh?” Celestia startled awake, “Yes, I think that should do ~hic!~, I’ll send it off to everyone if you want me to dearest sisters and why are you all moving?” Celestia looked at her half-empty bottle of Stalliongradi Vodka, and poured herself another shot of it, slopping half onto the ground.
“Thank you, dear sister, but I can handle doing that myself. I believe you should head off to bed as I start on the Night Court, plus I should take away your liquor,” Luna said tenderly to her sister and tried taking the bottle away from the drunken sun goddess who had a dead-pony’s grip on the bottle, “It shouldn't be too hard, after all, I have coffee and Discord with me, I could always send him to get some of Joe’s famous donuts if I need him to.”

Discord sat up a bit from playing with his marionette ponies, “Did you say Joe? Of Pony Joe Donuts?” the god inquired, “I’ll go and get some now if you want!” and with that, the demented god vanished in a puff of smoke, confetti, and bits of cotton candy flavored avocados.

“Why does Discord have to do that?” Luna questioned herself, “Anyways, thanks to that display, Night Court should be slow and I can catch up on the latest Daring Do comic book! But first, I need to get this sent out its of dire importance to the world it gets to those who need it.”
With a grim, serious look on her face, Luna cantered to the ever burning green flame meant to send letters only to the Crystal Empire and in dire emergencies. She concentrated hard on the scroll in her dark, yet opalescent magic and willed it to duplicate, word for word. A few seconds later, she heard a small pop that told her the letter had been duplicated and was ready to be sent.

“Well, it’s now or never,” She muttered to herself as she pushed one into the green flame that was directed to the Crystalline Castle at the northern reaches of the world. The other one was easier to send for her. All she had to do was will it to vanish and reappear in the Golden Oaks Library, knowing Spike would be sure to give it to Twilight, just as the letter went through the instant-mailing system.

“Well, my job is done on this sobering topic for now,” Luna said to herself, “Now, where did I leave my comic book and bag of mini donuts from Joe’s?”

After a few minutes of searching, Luna looked over at her sister who was splayed across her throne. Celestia was snoring softly, cradling her bottle of vodka in her hooves; like a foal clutching a teddy bear. The Lunar princess shook her head, and went back to eating her snack and reading her comic book that she found tucked under her throne.

Session 30.6 Mtangalion

Filthy Rich adjusted his reading spectacles and started going over the facts and figures yet again. Everything that he and Big Mac needed was laid out before them on the Apple family's kitchen table. Shipping statistics from the Orange family in Manehatten. Production figures for Sweet Apple Acres for the last five years. Market surveys. Sales figures from his Barnyard Bargains and the other companies he owned or dealt with.

"Would you boys like some more tea?" asked Granny Smith behind them.

"Eeyup," said Big Mac.

Mr. Rich nodded. "Yes, please." He tapped a hoof on a document. "Cider sales in Baltimare and Canterlot were up twelve percent last year. If you could produce more cider apples, I could definitely sell them."

Over in the living room, Applejack glanced up from work she was doing, fixing up Granny's favorite rocking chair. "We don't need to replant that many trees, but if we plant extra in the south field..."

Big Mac nodded. "Sounds good." He leaned to one side, giving Granny room to pour his tea.

As the discussion went on, Mr. Rich glanced up at the window. Those three fillies and his princess were horsing around out by the pig pen. Apple Bloom was balancing on one of the fence posts, doing something with a fishing pole and a bucket of slop. Diamond rose up and made a dramatic 'No no no!' gesture with her forelegs. Then Scootaloo went galloping past, chasing a loose pig, Apple Bloom got distracted and fell into the pigpen, and mud splashed all over Sweetie Belle and Diamond.

Mr. Rich tensed, waiting for the explosion... but Diamond just laughed. She grabbed a hoof-full of mud and got Scootaloo with it good, getting muddier herself in the process. Then mud went flying everywhere, Sweetie Belle started levitating buckets of water from the well and dunking ponies, and they wound up in a big muddy heap, laughing like the best of friends.

Filthy Rich smiled broadly, margins and profits forgotten for the moment. "This really is just like the old days." He looked to Big Mac. "Back when it was me and your pa playing out there, while my father and your Granny Smith made the business deals. I guess we're passing the great Rich-Apple partnership on the next generation after all."

Granny was smiling too, tearing up a bit. "Ah remember when you and him were thick as thieves."

Mr. Rich nodded. "We were the best of friends. I even had that knack for numbers that Diamond has now. But when... that happened..." He sighed. "And I knew he was gone and I'd never see him again... I guess I just couldn't deal with it. I stopped coming by for years, just when you folk probably could have used another helping hoof." He rested a forehoof on Big Mac's larger one. "I am so sorry about that, Mac."

Big Mac gnawed on his stalk of wheat thoughtfully, switching it to the other side of his muzzle. "Don't worry about that none, Fil. Ah forgave ya ages back, and truth be told... Ah wasn't in any mood for comforting, back then. Ah was angry at everypony and everything, when Ah wasn't too bone tired from working the farm by mahself to feel anything at all."

"It's good that things are better now," said Mr. Rich earnestly. "That's real good."

Big Mac smiled. "Eeeyup."

They labored in silence for another while, until it was all done except for dotting the I's and crossing the T's. Big Mac, Applejack, and Granny all read the contract and seemed satisfied. "With this," declared Filthy Rich, "our business deal is renewed for another three years!" He scanned the pages one more time, and paused. "This column of figures... that sum isn't right. It should be 54,040 bits."

"Ah do believe you're right," said Big Mac. With a curious wink to AJ, he took the quill and made two quick stokes, changing a one to a four. The two stallions signed their names, then hoofbumped, and it was done. "Good workin' with ya, Fil."

It wasn't until Mr. Rich left the house and called for Diamond that it hit him. How had he known, at just a glance, that the sum was wrong?

He glanced back at Sweet Apple Acres. Twenty-four wooden slats on this side of the barn's roof. One hundred and twenty-two apple trees in his field of view. He felt an extra spring in his step, the subtle tingle of good, honest earth pony magic dancing in his hooves. "Sun and moon," he breathed. And when he and Diamond began walking home together, Mr. Rich started chuckling.

Diamond Tiara blinked. "Daddy? What's so funny?"

Once, he would have would have had an absolute fit and come down hard on his precious princess for getting all muddy... and now it didn't seem important at all... she was a filly doing what fillies did. That wasn't why he was laughing, though. "Sorry, princess. I just figured something out, and Princess Twilight was so excited about researching this 'apple math' thing, and now I'm gonna to have to tell her that we both had it all wrong."

Diamond got a suspicious look. "You're not going to tell me that there's some sneaky trick and I can be good at math without being Apple Bloom's friend, are you? Because... I *like* being her friend." The filly blushed.

"No, nothing like that!" boomed Mr. Rich. "I'm proud of you for making more friends. But the math thing... they've been telling us the whole time, and we just weren't listening properly. Math is easy when you work with Apples!"

Session 30.7 Alex Warlorn

"Ha! Just you wait Twilight! My fully upgraded Mammoth Tank is gonna trounce your base!" Rainbow Dash jeered as she nudged her miniature along the bridge that was the one way into Twilight's base without air or water unites or Rainbow Dash creating her own bridge.

Then the enchanted tiles glowed, revealing the entire bridge was covered in hidden mines, that immediately blew up, and followed some light fire from some mass produced tanks on Twilight's side, obliterating Rainbow Dash's hulking monster she's dumped most of her resources into.

"HEY! THAT'S NOT FAIR! I call Worf Effect!"

Twilight Sparkle rolled her eyes. "Rainbow Dash, for the last time, taking out your opponent's strongest unit on the field you've built your entire army around preemptively is called 'good strategy'. And 'worf effect' is a narrative device."

Session 30.8 Kendell2

"So, basically the game is making up a horror movie plot and trying to survive it?" Rainbow Dash asked, looking at the roleplay they were going to play. Fluttershy was obviously not present, nor was Pinkie Pie (who was busy taking care of the Twins).

Twilight nodded. "Yes, it's kind of meant to be a self aware take on the way horror movies work. For example, playing by or avoiding horror movie tropes decreases or increases your odds of survival, as do personality traits you choose for your character. Once you last long enough into the game, or only one player is left standing (activating the 'Final Filly' stage), the final showdown happens were the difficulty lowers enough to give a fair chance of surviving." She looked at an instruction book literally labeled 'Death Flags'. "If the antagonist catches you, you have a saving throw to either escape or...well...And yes, the game is Rogue Like."

Rainbow smirked. "Oh yeah, my kind of game!"

"Sounds rather uncouth to me..." Rarity admitted.

"So why is the monster, killer, whatever the buck, played by the Game Master?" Applejack asked.

"Simple: while there are rules, horror movies cheat," Twilight replied simply.

"She's got a point," Rainbow Dash replied. "Machines never start, road ways get blocked, monster is somehow in front of you when you just ran from it...Speaking of which, what's the monster?"

"We make one up and give it rules," said Twilight. "Apparently Discord ended up playing this and the monster ended up being...Hooviet zombies riding flying, cyborg sharks..." she explained, showing annoyance. "I'm not surprised."

"...I'd watch that..." said Rainbow Dash with a shrug.

"And Ghost Story's version apparently ended up with a monster that was a ghost who could only strike in the dark..."

"And the light begins flickering. Faster and faster. It looks like your candle is almost spent. You see the entity flicker in and out of existence in front of you..." said Ghost Story, sitting behind the game master screen...well, hanging behind it as the case may be.

Nocturn quivered in his chair, particularly when Ghost Story started flickering the candle using her wing. "W-Why did I agree to play this?"

"Alright, setting?" Twilight asked.

"Camping trip is always a good one," Rainbow Dash said.

"Alright...now, Slasher, Monster, or Disaster?" Twilight asked. "Disaster's a little harder because...well, you can't KILL a natural disaster."

OOC: Decided to see if anyone else wanted to do this. Ironically, I imagine Rarity doing best because personality wise she avoids a lot of death flags by nature.

Session 30.9 Ardashir

"Slasher!" All three ponies said at once.

Twilight blinked. "O-kay. Any particular reason?"

"Well, we kinda face monsters all the time as the Elements," Rainbow Dash shrugged. "Heck, we play with some of them. An' ya can't really interact with a natural disaster."

"'Sides," Applejack added as she glanced through the rulebook, "We all remember them crazy stories some ponies tried ta tell 'bout us all," she looked at a nearby copy of the Canterlot Sun, sporting a picture of Queen Chrysalis as the cover story under the headline, 'Reformed Or Still A Menace?' Applejack snorted. "Not namin' any names. Anyhow, they deserve ta be made fun of."

"Agreed, dear." Rarity shook herself. "Anyway! Now how will we go about this? Are we the typical three featherbrained young mares looking for a fun and scandalous weekend at the classic abandoned summer camp, or what?"

"Ah like ta think we can be smarter than that," Applejack said.

"Let's see if you can," Twilight said, flashing an evil grin. "Now then, the three of you are camping in the woods, somewhere between the haunted mine, the abandoned town, and the old graveyard. You've been expecting three stallions to meet you, but for some reason they're late, and..."

***

"What the hay, Dash?" Applejack facehoofed. Rarity stared at the pegasus in disbelief, a smile trying to go over her face, as Applejack asked, "We're in that spooky old town lookin' for those three stallions, and ya just wanna go inta the empty house after that crazy hobo pony told us not ta?"

"I heard something in there!" Dash said defiantly. She looked down at her dice and then at the smirking Twilight. "I mean, I did hear something, right?"

"That's right, Dash," Twilight almost cackled, "you did!"

"Besides, my character's flaw is headstrong," Dash scratched her head. "Huh, dunno how that's a flaw. Anyway, I get a bonus for this." She picked up her token and set it inside the house. "I go in saying, 'Wow, you two are fraidy-cats! Wait here and I'll see what it is.'"

"So, in this game, you leave your friends and go off somewhere you've never been. By yourself. In an abandoned town." Twilight rolled her eyes and looked at Rarity and Applejack. "Do I even need to roll to find out if she dies or not?"

Session 30.10 BrutalityInc

(Spoilers for MLP FIM IDW #44. If you haven't read it, don't read this first!)  (Also, feel free to use this as a jumping off point for a number of possible future sessions involving Shining's two groups of friends)

  = = =

 Gaffer had to admit, Shining’s old friends in the Equestrian Royal Guards are really an amiable, endearing bunch. He had fully expected that tensions and rivalry over Shining Armor would emerge between them, especially given the fact that they don’t share all the interests with each other that Shining Armor happened to share (Making Gaffer wonder if Shining would had been the Element of Magic for an Elements of Harmony team in another life, given the way he glued friends together). Except, they quickly got along over stuff that they DO share, one of them being military themed wargames.

Even so, they are somewhat… unsettling. It’s always seems to be the case for ponies who aren’t all that they seemed. Gaffer, 8-Bit and Gizmo/Pointdexter are clear as day as to who they are; giant nerds who happened to play, and design, a lot of games. Cherry Fizzy, Noteworthy, Caramel and Meadow Song looked like a gathering of goofy friends who often ends up in clownish shenanigans (And most of them happened to have played clowns before, too!).
 But then he noticed, a little hint here and there; the way some of them walked, the way and things some of them talked. All of it seemed to hide, beneath their cheerful demeanour, personalities who happened to be a lot darker, colder and aggressive than any normal pony.

And then take into account the fact that all of them, down to the last pony, are battle-hardened soldiers, and suddenly he realized he had found himself in company of goofy, lovable dorks who had the skill, and the instincts, to end him and his pals without breaking a sweat.

So yes… very unsettling.

Trying to diffuse his own unease, he and 8-Bit had gone into small talk with them, while they wait for Cherry, Shining and Gizmo to finish discussing some joint game-making projects.

“So I heard you guys had been in a bit of a pickle in Ponyville recently.” Gaffer asked cautiously. "All three of us were out of town at the time, so we didn't even know until it was over."

All three of the remaining Royal Guard friends cringed or narrowed their eyes slightly at the mention of that event.

“Sorry! I know this is fairly recent, so if you don’t want to talk about it…” Gaffer backpedalled.

“No, no, it’s fine. It’s actually quite interesting. What we did that day has given Cherry a few ideas for some of the games we plan to make with you guys.” Meadow Song reassured.

“So is it true that the Friendship Council temporarily turned evil due to soaking in some dark magic infused hot-springs?” 8-Bit asked.

“True enough. The full report hasn’t been published yet, but that’s what we heard.” Caramel shrugged, “I was there, and I’m not sure about all the details that happened myself. It was just like one of those days when one of the Mane Six freaked out over something, but we never had to deal with all six of them going nuts at the same time, so things got messier.”

“So what did you guys do?” Gaffer asked.

“When Princess Twilight went full-on ‘dark empress’ mode, our commander immediately ordered all Royal Guards in Ponyville to disperse, because we are the strongest group of ponies in the town after the Mane Six – the only other ponies who could put up any sort of organized struggle – which makes us a priority target that she’ll go after immediately to secure her reign over Ponyville.” Noteworthy explained.

“Of course, CEO Applejack was the one who actually demolished our guardhouse, for reasons we still couldn’t figure out.” Meadow Song noted, “Consensus was that it was sitting on a piece of real estate that she wants to develop.”

“We tried to link up with Princess Luna, but she was busy ‘fire-fighting’ across Ponyville with Spike to contain the Corrupted Six while those Cutie Mark Crusaders went to fetch Zecora. We were on our own.” Noteworthy said. “So anyway, we gone to ground and formed cells of resistance fighters, and spent the next few days fighting a guerrilla war against Empress Twilight and the rest of the Corrupted Six.”

“Really?” 8-Bit asked, awed by the implications.

“Well, not really ‘fight’; we all knew we don’t stand a chance against any of the Corrupted Six in open battle, especially when it turned out the dark magic made them stronger. So we focused on damage-control and protecting the citizenry where we could.” Meadow Song clarified.

“Cherry Fizzy and the rest of us managed to organize an evacuation of Ponyville right under the Corrupted Six’ collective noses.” Caramel noted, “It was kind of risky, what with Empress Twilight and Wild Fluttershy having the whole place under lockdown. But we actually managed to get a quarter of Ponyville out to safety before it was all over.”

= = =

“Yeah, no way in Tartarus am I letting ‘Empress’ Twilight suck up my precious intellect with her brain-drainer!” Cherry Fizzy muttered angrily as he and Noteworthy ushered fearful ponies towards safety, dressed in battered and dirtied armour. “I have my pride as a scholar, you know!”

“But how are we going to make sure she doesn’t find out about the evacuation? Empress Twilight is actively hunting for us!” Meadow Song said in hushed tones, peeking his bandana and camouflage-wearing head out of the shadows to behold the chaos engulfing Ponyville.

“Not sure, but I have a cunning plan to buy us some time.” Cherry said with a grin, “As you know, we had been putting up posters and graffiti, written in code, around town that would supposedly guide ponies to safety. But they don’t actually do!”

“Yeah, I was wondering about that!” Caramel said, panting in sweat-drenched civilian disguise clothes as he entered their hide-out with a few more ponies in tow, “We spent all day melding into the crowds and pretend to decipher and follow those signs, getting others to follow us, but in reality we then split up in the side streets and lead them to the evac point! So what are those posters actually for?”

“Why, my dear Caramel, to lead Empress Twilight away from us as far away as possible!” Cherry Fizzy declared with pride, “And given her obsession with codes and riddles, it would be impossible for her not to keep trying to solve them, even if it led her around in circles near the school-house!”

“But what if she realized that you are bluffing her?” Noteworthy said worriedly, walking in with a filly on his back, “She’s the most intelligent pony in Ponyville, maybe all of Equestria! It’ll only be a matter of time before she figure it out, and deduce where we actually are!”

At that moment, the doors of the windmill are blown open, and the dark and majestic Empress Twilight marched in from the sunny outdoors.

“You fools! Do you really think you can out-smart the Empress of Ponyville?!” She gloated, as she lifted up her brain-draining device and also readied to cast her loyalty spell, “Well, you were all clever enough to waste an hour of my time, I’ll give you that! I’ll make sure to make good use of all those precious IQ!”

She flipped the light-switch… and found herself staring into a room filled with crates of fireworks, all wired to blow.

“I thought about that; who said that I couldn’t pull a double-bluff?” Cherry said. Just then, there was the roar of a thunderous explosion, one big enough to shake the earth beneath them. His grin grew wider with triumph, “She may be the most intelligent pony in Equestria, but she isn’t the smartest.”

= = =

“Oh! So both the school-house AND the windmill are decoys!” 8-Bit uttered with realization.

“Pretty much.” Noteworthy, “Cherry’s plan hinged on the fact that Twilight at her worst is too arrogant to conceive the possibility we could out-smart her, blinding her to our trap. Our actual base and evac-point was under the Ponyville bridge the entire time, at the river, where we send the ponies out of town in boats. We had to kiss the next Hearths Warming Eve firework display goodbye, though.”

“Of course, being a powerful Alicorn, it was barely enough to send her reeling.” Meadow Song muttered, shaking his head. “And then everything went FUBAR. Caramel got captured by Jokester Pinkie trying to get Sassaflash out of the theatre, and then got trapped in the rubble with Sassaflash when Jokester Pinkie brought the house down on top of Princess Luna and Dark Rarity. Meanwhile, Meadow Song got captured by Dark Rarity herself trying to free Alisa.”

“Then Jokester Pinkie start throwing water balloons filled with Dark Spring waters around and all Tartarus broke loose. Half the Ponyville Royal Guards turned evil and pledged allegiance to Empress Twilight. I heard one cell who fled to the Everfree got captured by Wild Fluttershy’s friends, who then invaded Ponyville with her army of corrupted and ARMED animals.” Noteworthy explained. “Before the crisis was over, I and Cherry were literally the last Ponyville resistance left standing, fighting off the very ponies we were trying to save that had been turned evil! I nearly gave up when we saw Princess Luna turning into Nightmare Moon again!”

“On the plus side, Noteworthy discovered that Vinyl’s condition was actually psychosomatic, and she started talking when she got splashed and turned evil.” Caramel interjected, “Since they now know how to cure her, that’s one piece of good news out of that.”

“So how did the crisis end?” Gaffer asked.

“We’ll tell you later, I think they’re just about done.” Noteworthy said as the doors swung open, and Shining Armour entered along with Cherry and Gizmo, all of them carrying piles of notes and scrolls of plans.

“Gentlecolts, after considerable discussion, we have decided on a number of ideas that we could work on together and turn into games.” Gizmo began.

“We already got a proposal that we would like you all to look at, later, but we would like to hear what you lot could brainstorm, first!” Cherry continued.

“So grab some pencil and paper, boys; and let’s get this started!” Shining Armor finished with a flourish.

Session 30.11 Alex Warlorn

"Oh, hello Miss Yearling, I trust you're enjoying the free copy of the new Daring Do adventure module we sent you?"

"You have Daring Do wielding a light saber while riding a jet-pack gorilla, fighting aliens."

"The kids will love it!"

"And you insist that it's canon with my books!"

"We figure that'll really get ponies' attention!"

"UGH! What kinda lame-brain would actually LIKE this tripe?"

-

"This. Daring Do. Campaign. Is. AWESOME!" Rainbow Dash shouted.

"But did we HAVE TO fight a sky scraper sized Princes Celestia ind control by aliens?" Twilight asked, her ears wilting and her brain feeling it was about to explode.

Session 30.12 Ardashir

Applejack snorted in disgust. "This has gotta be the craziest durned adventure any o' us ever played through."

"Not even close," Rarity whispered to her. "You weren't here with the shark one that Pinkie and Dash came up with for the CMC and their friends one day."

Applejack blinked. "The shark one?"

"An' the giant radioactive shark tornado goes SPLOOSH!" Dash said, the miniature tornado filled with toy sharks painted green she'd created over the table collapsing as she stopped flying.

"Congrats girls, you saved Equestria!" Pinkie Pie said. "The Diamond Dero Dogs will never threaten ponykind again."

"YAY!" The CMC, Button Mash, Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon all yelled as they jumped and cheered. "CUTIE MARK CRUSADER SHARKNADO DESTROYERS!"

Off to the side, Princess Twilight Sparkle coped the only way she knew how. The hole her forehead was knocking into the wall grew ever deeper.

"A tornado." THUMP. "Filled with sharks." THUMP. "Made by dwarf Diamond Dogs." THUMP. "Riding in flying saucers." THUMP. "That was destroyed by throwing a ton of ice into it." THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.

Session 30.13 Grogar-the-oneser

"Not to mention this game isn't even a bit canon," Quibble Pants said annoyed.

"How would you know, you don't consider the other books canon." Rainbow said annoyed.

"She's holding a lightsaber!" Quibble exasperated. "Not to mention her fighting Celestia."

"She fought a giant stone alicorn before," Rainbow Dash said.

"Key word being stone." Quibble rolled his eyes. "And why are the aliens invading anyway? Is there any artifacts at all?"

"Err... no, no there's not." Twilight said rechecking the adventure.

"Then it's not a real Daring Do adventure!" Quibble said.

"To be fair, we do have a tendency to lose track of the game thing depending on whose the game master," Twilight said.

"And I'm the game master and I say it's fine, though I do have to add the artifact soon, he does have a point about that," Rainbow admitted.

XXX

"I must say, this know-it-all is pretty smart." Ahuizotl said as they were spying on them. "Maybe I should offer him a job..."

"Please don't, he is SOO annoying, and for some reason kept insisting my accent is 'all over the place'," Caballeron stated.

"Can't understand where he got that delusion," Ahuizotl said with a roll of his eye.

Session 30.14 Alex Warlorn

Meanwhile, in the human world, reality was catching up with that universe's Rainbow Dash.

"What do you mean if I fail my grades I have to quit all my teams?!"

"Just what I said," Cheerilee said, still having a black eye she was hiding with make-up for the 'claim the right to date Big Mac' boxing tournament. "All your grades are ... not good... "

"I know that! The entire school knows it thanks to that Anon-a-Miss MyStable account!" It still burned Rainbow knowing that the whole school knew now how she struggled with her grades. Thankfully she had already cried about it in the privacy of her own room. Yes she had forgiven Scootaloo for her part and Rainbow Dash had apologized to Sunset Shimmer. It was clear the brat had opened Pandora's box having no idea that once gossip was online it wasn't as easy as simply deleting it.

"... I'm sorry Rainbow, I didn't mean to hit a sore spot, but you do need help. Might I suggest cutting back on World of Horsecraft? You aren't the first person whose life is being ruined by that game."

Give up World of Horsecraft?! NEVER! So what if Gilda was having the same problem?

"But... But... I'm the captain of every sports team we have!"

"And that might have something to do with your poor grades Rainbow Dash. It's school policy, and every other school in the country."

"... I... I'll try."

-

"Hello Boys and Girls! I'm Mister Computer!" Said the face on the little computer screen, in green and black lines. "Are we ready to learn? We have math muncher, spelling hunter, and map finder!"

"... This may not help me like it did in first grade." Rainbow Dash said.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 30.0 BrutalityInc
Session 30.1 Alex Warlorn
Session 30.2 Alex Warlorn
Session 30.3 Alex Warlorn
Session 30.4 Jarkes
Session 30.5 B4ssXCello /b]
Session 30.6 Mtangalion
Session 30.7 Alex Warlorn
Session 30.8 Kendell2

Session 30.9 Ardashir
Session 30.10 BrutalityInc
Session 30.11 Alex Warlorn

Session 30.12 Ardashir

Session 30.13 Grogar-the-oneser

Session 30.14 Alex Warlorn
Session 30.15 Mtangalion

Cover image by robd2003

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Session 31

Session 31.0 Mtangalion

Sunset and her friends were having another get-together at Sweet Apple Acres, but Rainbow Dash and Gilda weren't having that much fun. While most of the others watched the newest Sharknado movie, they were at the kitchen table, sighing over calculus textbooks.

"Okay... we can do this," said Rainbow Dash, though she was starting to think that slamming her forehead against the textbook might be more effective.

Gilda gritted her teeth, nodding. "Totally! We can stop thinking about W-World of Horsecraft for five minutes... and read this textbook! It's the same at both our schools. We're not some lame addicted losers!"

Rainbow cupped a hand to her mouth and shouted, "What are the roots of X squared plus four?!"

"Ah'm not saying," came AJ's voice from the living room. Gilda and Rainbow snickered anyway.

"What about you?" Gilda asked 'Karl.' "Got any study tips? What do you griffons even do all day with no computers?"

Karl never looked away from Gilda's laptop. "Not now! My priest is about to reach level ten!"

"Dude..." grumbled Rainbow. "Not helping."

"I knew it!" cried Rarity. She came stamping into the kitchen, a smug look on her face and her smartphone in hand. "What do you think of this... *Gerold*?"

'Karl' put the laptop down, startled right out of his game.

The phone had a picture of the Griffonstone Griffons high school soccer team, and one of the players did look uncannily like their guest. "I knew I'd seen him somewhere before!" crowed Rarity. "How very strange, that Rainbow Dash didn't recognize him right away, seeing as how she doesn't miss a single detail when she's in the midst of a game!"

Rainbow laughed nervously. "I... kinda might have been sworn to secrecy?"

Gilda coughed. "Yeah. Can you imagine how screwed I'd be if word got around that I'm hanging with the identical twin of the guy who's only the hottest athlete at my school?" She blinked. "Wait... Is your name really Gerold?"

He laughed honestly, slapping his pants leg. "I was wondering if you'd ever *ask*."

Rainbow sighed. "And... we're still not getting any studying done. I can't take any more of this, I gotta get some air!" Magic swirled, making pony ears peek out of a longer rainbow mane. She spread blue wings and darted straight out the open window.

Gilda sat up straight. "Wha? Can she do that?" She jumped up, grabbing Rarity's shoulders. "Can she do that?!" Another blink. "Can *we* do that?"

Gerold stood up, eyes closed and a fist clenched beneath his chin. Magic flared again... larger blue griffon-styled wings spread behind him, and a phantom lion-tufted tail swished by his ankles. He grinned broadly. "Gilda. I've often found that it's better to *do* and ask 'may I?' later." He climbed out the window and launched himself into the sky, following Rainbow.

"Oh heck yeah!!" whooped Gilda, manifesting bronze wings of her own and chasing after him.

A shocked Rarity looked to Twilight and Sunset, who'd burst into the room just in time to see that.

"Well," mused Twilight. "He's a native Equestrian, and she's at least been to Equestria, so I suppose it makes sense, as much as anything related to magic ever makes sense."

Sunset facepalmed. "I hope they fix that problem with Princess Twilight turning evil soon."

Fifteen minutes and a crazy game of aerial tag later, Rainbow Dash still wasn't tired of flying. "Well, that tears it. There's no way I'll be able to concentrate on studying now."

Gerold banked over, flying beside her. "We could rest on that cloud. That always helps me clear my thoughts." Gilda and Dash stared at him. "What?"

Session 31.1 Ardashir

"ARRGH!" Grogar stumbled and roared as a blue pegasus rammed into him. "No! Cursed pegasus, you can't defeat me! I am Grogar the Invincible --"

Sci-Twi, as DM, winced as Dash jumped up on her chair and rolled her dice at the same time. She spoke in a voice that echoed from the walls.

"AND! I make one last Sonic Rainboom-powered cannonball special right into the Bell of Freedom!" She looked at the dice. "Woohoo! Yes! Natural 20! I totally critted him!" Dash jumped into the air and almost came down feet first on the table. Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Rarity hurriedly snatched the food and drinks to prevent catastrophe.

Dash slowly realized that her friends were glaring at her.

"Rainbow," Applejack said, "Ah know ya like ta be dramatic, but can ya tone it down just a tad?" She tapped the hand-made and carved table. "Ma grand-pappy made this table from the first tree he ever cut down at the orchard!"

"Oh. Heh, sorry," Dash tamely returned to her seat. She looked at Twilight and said more calmly, "Uh, I did enough, right?"

"You sure did," Twilight said, tapping the character sheet before her. "Grogar stumbles to all four knees. He looks at you as though preparing one last spell, and then collapses with a dreadful cry as he and his terrible city of Tambelon are both drawn back into his prison dimension. The end." Twilight stopped. Dash gave her a pleading look. Twilight rolled her eyes and said, "And everyone cheers Rainbow Dash and her amazing friends for saving them all.""

"Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash!" Pinkie Pie and Sunset thoughtfully cried out. Dash jumped back up in her seat and bowed to them.

"Thank you! Thank you!" She smiled hopefully at Sunset and half purred, "An' a hero deserves a special reward, right?"

Sunset folded her arms over her chest.

"I'm not doing your algebra homework, Dash."

"Rats!"

Session 31.2 Alex Warlorn

"HA! My space station blows up that stupid planet that was between me and your little pony you have your base on! Now to blow it up!"

Twilight Sparkle nodded. "Yes, you did. It would have taken you fifteen minutes game time to circle around the planet into firing range. And now, you have to wait three hours before your main weapon can recharge."

"W-wh-what?! But-BUT THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT! What about in the third movie when-"

"Different one, different design, and had countless improvements over the original version, you build the smaller more economy sized version since you didn't have enough resources to build the big one."

"But-but! That parody stripe I read! It had-"

"The artist obviously didn't actually read any of the source material."

"Rainbow Dash, Ah don't think tactical thinkin' is yer strong point." Applejack said since no one else would.

Session 31.3 Mtangalion

Twilight rolled the dice and squinted at something behind the GM screen, then pushed her glasses back up with a finger. "The entrance to the cargo ship's bridge is guarded by two more agents of SIREN. They're watching alertly, but they don't seem aware that the boat has been infiltrated. What do you do?"

Gerold grinned smugly. "I climb up to the second level of the metal boat, keeping to the shadows, then glide down and take them by surprise from behind!"

Gilda burst out laughing, and quickly stifled it down to just a snicker. "Nice plan, but, uh... Star Spangle can't fly."

Gerold did a double-take. "What?" He started looking over his character sheet again. "But, Star Spangle is human, is he not? All of *you* can fly."

"Ah can't," said Applejack. "Unlike some folks..."

"Don't look at me," said Spike the dog. "Not that I'm human or anything."

Pinkie stared into the distance, tapping her chin. "Hrrm.... Ooh, does floating up in the air when all the rainbow sparkly magic happens count?"

Twilight shuddered, and Sunset hugged her. "Shhh, it's okay, Twilight. You don't have to try that again until you're ready."

"Um, ordinary humans can't fly," said Fluttershy softly. "It's because they don't have any magic."

"Then what is that?" said Gerold, pointing at Rarity.

Rarity had been holding her ponied-up form for nearly ten minutes now, and she had a mirror compact floating before her in a pale blue aura that matched her eyes. "Ugh, I'm certain this would be easier if I had a horn like the one I had in the other world... but how would I style my hair around a horn? What's the most fashionable way? I just can't decide!"

Then she blinked, realizing that everyone was looking at her. "Is it my turn? So sorry, darlings! Red Recluse steps out of cover and uses her Seduce ability, so that the guards will turn their backs on Star Spangle!" She rolled the dice without touching them.

Twilight had taken some deep breaths, and seemed better now. "A sixteen means that your Seduction is completely effective. The guards don't suspect a thing." She looked to Gerold. "And what Fluttershy meant was, ordinary humans don't have flying or magic or anything like that. We're... a rather unusual group."

Rainbow Dash nodded. "So it's super-important for us to keep this stuff a secret. Or at least not have rumors runing wild outside the school. We're not looking to become the real life Retributioners." She smirked. "At least, not yet."

AJ rolled her eyes. "Ya might have reached that conclusion *before* somebody sent all those unmarked black drones to snoop around mah farm."

Gilda groaned. "Sheesh, we said we're sorry! Can't we just play already? I'm bored, waiting to get to the part where Griffon and Eagle Eye join in." She muttered under her breath about Dash calling dibs on Griffon.

Gerold folded his arms across his chest. "Your wargame is more complicated than I expected! I still say that Star Spangle is a mighty hero of his nation, and he *should* have flying powers... oh, fine. I fall upon my distracted foes and disembowel them with a flick of my talons!"

Futtershy gasped, and slammed her palms on the table, glaring at him.

Gerold recoiled, even scooting his chair back a few inches. "I meant... I draw my belt knife and..." Fluttershy narrowed her eyes. "Prisoners! Yes, we should take some prisoners! I bash them unconscious with my magic shield. Then I take some rope from my pack and tie them up!" He grinned. "I tie secure knots in the ropes with my human fingers, which is a thing that humans can also do!"

Sunset Shimmer pinched the bridge of her nose. "I knew we should have played the Almighty Thorse module."

Session 31.4 Alex Warlorn

"For the last time Fluttershy no!" The human Rainbow Dash said. "I am NOT playing Crystal and Rainbows 3.5."

"But you used to love this game! I still have your character sheet for always dressing in style!"

"I also used to love Happy Flower, but I don't now."

"I thought you stopped liking that because you were getting bullied about it."

"Uh! Of course not! I just realized how it was for babies! Ya know? It's not exactly aimed at teenage girls."

"I still like it."

"ME TOO!" Pinkie Pie added.

"You would."

"How about another game? Called homework! Unless you want to play the ever so popular LARP 'Summer School' Rainbow Dash." Sunset Shimmer said, happy to have gotten over her fear of giving her opinion.

"... Ugh. Fine!"

Session 31.5 Ardashir

(OC: Getting back to game night with Chrysalis.)

"Okay, forget it." Chrysalis looked disgusted as she read the O&O game book, Lords of Evil that Twilight had at the table. "You even try using some of these things, and I am leaving. Even if it means I have to go back to prison."

"First of all, I'm not using them." Twilight removed the book from Chrysalis' claws. "Secondly, you're not supposed to be looking at it anyway! And what are you talking about?"

"That." Chrysalis pointed at one description under demons. As she read it, the other ponies (Experience taught Twilight that she wanted her friends close by when they had Chrysalis over) began to look ill. "A demon that represents foal killers? With the 'holy symbol' of a bloody cradle?"

"What? Thet can't be for real -- augh!" Applejack snatched the book and read it. "'Served by black swans, uses a hammer for a sacred weapon...' The hay?"

Twilight squirmed under the collective glares of five ponies and one Changeling Queen.

"It's marked 'not suitable for foals', you know! Big brother told me about it, how he and his friends wanted to see how creepy their imaginations could get when they wrote a book about demons and devils..." Her voice trailed off at their unconvinced looks. "Hey every colt goes through a 'I love weird-nasty stuff' phase, they outgrew it!"

"She's right, you know," Rarity said. "It is only fiction. And why would it bother you?" She looked directly at Chrysalis, ignoring her bared fangs. "You've done some terrible things. You boast about them at this table."

Chrysalis sniffed. "I may be ruthless, iron-willed, and capable of going to great lengths in the name of fulfilling my destiny to rule all Equestria," Chrysalis looked at the book and made disgusted noises, "but I never hurt foals. And anyling who ever did, I'd send to Tartarus."

"What about that one time ya ponynapped the CMC?" Dash gave her a dirty look, as did Rarity and Applejack.

"That was politics," Chrysalis grinned a fanged grin. "Not for, for pleasure."

Session 31.6 Zaku789

"They saw you visibly squash a citizen of Lovey-Dovey Land!"

"Alright, so I don't hurt them physically," Chrysalis said with a roll of her eyes. "You ponies, are so nit-picky. I bet you're the sort who build cart for your siblings without their input and refuse to let them drive said cart."

"No we-" Twilight was interrupted when she heard Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Applejack whistling. "You didn't."

"Foalhood trauma," Rarity answer simply.

"Trying to uphold tradition," Applejack said a bit shamefully.

"Wanted to see if my old design was still as fast as I remember."

Session 31.7 Mtangalion

A side door swung open, and Bon Bon backed into the room on three legs, her fourth hoof in an oven mitt, carrying a tray of fresh cookies. "Who's ready for some gaming night snacks?"

"Don't mind if Ah do," said Applejack, accepting a cookie and taking a bite right away.

Rarity waved Bon Bon off, murmuring about watching her figure, and Twilight levitated a cookie over, her attention mostly on the monster compendium, circling more entries in red. "Thanks, Bon Bon."

Queen Chrysalis looked at the cookies with deep suspicion. "Nectar is sweet enough for me. I tend to find your pony confections sickeningly sweet at best. Oh! No offense, dear."

Bon Bon beamed. "Are you sure?" She took a cookie and held it out. "These are a special order, made with love!"

Chrysalis accepted the cookie, sniffing it. "You're good, wolf. I almost didn't sense your spiteful glee. Tell me, how much poison joke did you put in this one?"

"I... I don't have any idea what you're talking about, you buggy murdering hag!" stammered Bon Bon. "Poison *cookies*? What pony would even do that?!" But she left the tray and made a hasty retreat before Rarity could do more than rise from her chair, shaking a hoof at her.

Session 31.8 Alex Warlorn

"uh, Rainbow Dash, what is that?" Princess Twilight Sparkle pointed, having just come home.

"What's what?" Rainbow Dash replied looking up at the latest Daring Do novel (featuring the expies of herself and Quibble Pants).

"The obscenely large pile of bits in my living room you're using as a couch!"

"Oh! That! Well, they couldn't deliver it to my house, so I had them forward it to yours."

"Rainbow! Where did all those come from?!"

"Royalties."

"Royalties?!"

"From my new game, I asked Soarin' and Pinkie to help proof it for me before I showed to your brother's gaming buddies." Rainbow Dash pulled out a box from a nearby saddle bag and tossed it to Twilight who caught it in her magic.

Twilight read the cover, her eyes widened. "28 Cookies Later?!"

"Yep! After that prank you guys all conspired to scare the horse-apples out of me, I thought, HEY! That would make a great zombie movie! But it got caught up in red tape, so I made it game instead!"

Twilight opened the box, finding dice, figurines, maps, a one minutes and fifteen second and the like 'hour glasses' and a rule book.

Twilight flipped through the pages. "Rainbow Dash these rules are a convoluted and exploitable mess. Are you seriously telling me you made all these bits from this thing?"

"Hey! Everypony thinks that the whole 'turn ponies into zombies from cookies' is a fresh spin on things. And I included you guys as boss zombies!"

"Rainbow Dash! I'm sure there are laws against that!"

"Tell that to AK Yearling."

Twilight Sparkle changed colors in ways that were not magical.

"Just WHO is buying and playing this thing?"

And right on cue. "Scootaloo! Be careful! Those cookies could be infected!" Said Sweetie.

"We don't have time to check before the zombies get here!"

"Put on Thriller! They'll break into a dance number giving you plenty of time to escape!" Suggested Apple Bloom.

"The cookie horde, led by zombie Twilight Sparkle, began to dance in sync to the music," Twilight heard Spike's voice say.

Twilight Sparkle groaned. "And I'm sure they're under age for that game."

"Hey, it's only rainbow cookies turning ponies into zombies."

Session 31.9 Zaku789 (with edits)

"Uggh. Are you lot still obsessed with your zombie prank?" Starlight groaned as she enter the room.

"No," Twilight Sparkle said. "THAT is over and done with! Rainbow Dash is the one dragging it on."

"Uh... what is that very large pile of bits doing in the living room?" Starlight asked.

"Apparently Rainbow Dash thought our prank would make a good role playing game... Even though the entire prank was a group effort idea Rainbow Dash! One YOU had no intentional contribution to! You do realize this can count as idea theft?"

"Doesn't count if you didn't trademark it!"

"When did you learn trademark law?"

"Your brother's buddies explained one or two points, they had to say them in 20 words or less bursts to keep my eyes open, or use Wonderbolt metaphors."

"I should have known..."

"Look Twilight, all those pranks cost me a pretty bit."

"A skunk, sneaking into a foals' classroom, a brick, and moving Applejack's bed, and a costume capable of scaring Fluttershy were expensive?"

"Well, there was the giant decoy cake and the sewing machine cake."

"Pinkie Pie paid for those cakes out of her own wallet."

"Yeah, so I owe her some bits I need to pay her off! And Rarity is kinda ticked off that I didn't tell her where I'd put her real sewing machine before I zoomed off so she demanded I pay her back for all the time she spent looking for it. And... and... an entire town's worth of prank cookies wasn't cheap. That's part of the reason why I use it for a failed movie and now game. Yeah.... those pranks cost me future paycheck of both my Wonderbolt salary and my weatherpony salary for the far future."

"Serves you right," Starlight Glimmer said.

"... I still have mixed feelings about this." Twilight grumbled.

"Oh relax Twilight, so you're a boss zombie that's getting her butt kicked in a game. It's not like ponies will go all sadistic and take out their frustration on the fictional you," Rainbow Dash said calmly.

(Meanwhile in the Changeling Kingdom)

"MWAHAHAHAHA!!" Chrysalis, cackled as she use the most sadistic measure in the game to torture the fictional zombified Elements of Harmony while laughing like a deranged lunatic.

"Remind me to write a thank you note to the stupid rainbow-maned one. And buy the royalties to this one, it'll make a great new supplement to the changeling RPG."

(Meanwhile in the Tartarus)

"MWAHAHAHAHA!!" Tirek roared he use the most sadistic measure the game allowed to torture the fictional zombified Elements of Harmony.

"Where did you get that?" Pinkie Pie asked, rather non-Pinkie Pie like in a matter of factly tone.

"I, I brought it." Scorpan admitted guilty. "I thought having to work together with others in a hopeless situation would help."

Pinkie Pie said, "Uh, you do know the goal of the game is to HELP the ponies who have been turned into cookie zombies right?"

"I am helping them! I make it so they can't suffer anymore."

Pinkie Pie shuddered. "Rainbow Dash..."

(And at Fluttershy's house)

'Destroy! Destroy the infected!' Angel mimed as his army of survivors stormed through the pretend zombified horde.

Fluttershy frowned.

Session 31.10 Mtangalion

Rainbow Dash was just fluffing up her cloud mattress, already looking forward to all the cool new pranks that she might dream up overnight, when somepony started hammering on her door. It took a lot of effort to properly knock on a cloud door, too.

Dash flew to the front door and opened it, and immediately got a sinking feeling when she saw Princess Twilight on her porch, levitating a stack of scrolls and a quill pen. "Um... heya, Twilight! Whatcha been up to?"

Twilight grinned smugly. "Oh, just a little thing I like to call 'doing the math.'" She unrolled the first scroll. "This is how much you paid for one hundred boxes of novelty joke cookies." She floated a second scroll over. "This is a letter from the Filly Guide board, stating that they won't prosecute you for the theft of their cookies..."

"Theft!" exclaimed Dash.

"... if you pay them back double the value of the Ponyville shipment." Twilight scratched in some more numbers with her quill. "You can probably recoup some of that cost by reselling those cookies yourself at a discount... here's my estimate for that... which still leaves you owing more bits than you've earned from sales of that game. The game, I might add, that was a lucky success that you didn't plan on at all."

"I... I'll pay it all back! Somehow..." Dash's ears pricked up. "Twilight, you could help me! Don't you have those new discretionary funds to help staff your castle?" The pegasus hovered so she could press her forehooves together, groveling. "Please, Twilight, I'll do anything!"

Twilight glared at her. "Rainbow, this isn't a game. You can't expect to bluff your way out of bills, or fudge some dice rolls to find extra gold under a random rock on the side of the road." She smiled. "But, since you're willing to do anything..."

Rainbow gulped.

"I've decided that we're flying to the Crystal Empire, first thing in the morning!"

"But... why? That'll take all day if I go slow enough for you to keep up."

"Good!" Twilight levitated a book out of her saddlebag. "That should be plenty of time for me to read this entire book of sound financial planning advice to you out loud." Twilight glared down at Dash, taking rare advantage of her extra Alicorn height. "I refuse to let one of my friends become a dead-broke, middle-aged, washed-up, former pro-athlete!"

Dash sunk lower and lower with each word, until it was a wonder she wasn't tunneling through her own cloud floor. "Hey, you never know!" she retorted, winking. "Maybe I'll figure out that whole Alicorn thing too. I'm awesome like that."

Twilight shook her head. "Dash, it's even *more* important to make smart financial decisions when you're immortal."

Dash's muzzle fell open. "You.. you've really put a lot of thought into this stuff, haven't you?"

Twilight grinned. "You don't know the half of it, yet. Oh, and since I know you'll probably get bored or try to weasel out of this..." She opened Dash's front door wider, revealing a familiar griffon on the doorstep beside her. "Gilda is coming along to help!"

Gilda turned up her beak. "Gosh, it sure must be nice, having a big fat contract with a major sporting organization. That sounds way easier than doing part-time jobs baking and selling scones to scratch out a living." She waved a wing dismissively. "I flew all the way out here for you, and the cold up north sucks, so don't you even think about ditching, unless you're some loser who knows she can't manage her bits half as well as I can."

Rainbow Dash got right in Gilda's face, and then she grinned. "You know me too well."

Gilda smirked back at her. "Yeah, ain't I a stinker?"

Session 31.11 sonicandmario826

Next morning during the flight to the Crystal Empire, Twilight began wondering about something.

"Rainbow? What did you do with all those stolen cookies?"

Rainbow groaned and facehoofed before replying, "I was going to hide them with someplace nopony would find and return them once the prank was done, but looking back at it I should've known not to leave it with the person I left it with."

Twilight looked at Rainbow with a raised eyebrow asking, "Who?"

*Meanwhile at another time and another dimension*

Discord wasn't sure what to find more impressive. The fact that Rainbow Dash had managed to navigate through his dimension or that she did it while somehow caring a huge supply of filly scout cookies.

"About time sompony delivered cookies to me. I really need to talk to sompony about the postal service in Ponyville. I mean seriously my Gala ticket was about a week late!!!"

The pegasus rolled her eyes, "Maybe the reason you aren't getting any deliveries on time, is because what happened to the last mail pony who last made a delivery to you."

Discord quickly retorted, "Hey!!! He made it out fine... mental scars notwithstanding. It's not my fault someponies can't handle my beautifully chaotic dimension. After all you seemed to get through it fine."

Rainbow just smirked, "Easy, because I'm awesome. Anyway these cookies aren't for you. I need you to hold on to them for an awesome prank I'm planing." Rainbow Dash smiled. Barely able to contain her excitement and told Discord her prank.

The draconequus voiced his approval, "Ooooooh! Pranking the whole town I approve." Discord then grabbed the cookies at once and surprised Dash by somehow fitting them all through his door at the same time. "I'll watch these cookies, you better go get your prank ready," Discord said before he closed his door.

Rainbow was just about to fly away before she remembered something. "Make sure nothing happens to those cookies!!!" She shouted "I still need to return them!!!"

"Sure, sure..." replied the spirit of chaos as he carelessly dropped the cookies on the floor. After he made sure Rainbow left he smirked saying, "Now I have to do my part for a certain other prank." With a snap of his claw he disappeared in a flash.

Unfortunately for Rainbow it was at that time a certain green blob decided to visit his chaotic friend. Once it opened the door it noticed the huge pile of cookies on the ground and licked its lips...

*few hours later*

"WHAT!!!!!"

Rainbow Dash couldn't believe it. After having been taught her lesson, she went to return the cookies from Discord she's stolen. Unfortunately the spirit of chaos had some bad news.

"Yup looks like Smoozy decided to visit and helped himself to a little snack," Discord replied nonchalantly filing his eagle claw with Gummy.

"Do you know how much all those cookies cost?!!"

After snapping Gummy back to Sugarcube Corner Discord looked at the angry pony. "No, not sure why I should care."

"I Don't have the money to pay for them that's why!!!"

"Not my problem. I wasn't the one who stole them."

Rainbow Dash quickly thought of a way to get out of this. "Uh.... WAIT!!! You can just use your magic to poof up another batch of cookies!!!"

Discord mockingly gasped "And rob you of a valuable lesson?" He pinched Rainbow's cheek. "What kind of friend would I be?"

Rainbow's jaw dropped. How could she have been so stupid to trust Discord with this? She was so caught up in her prank craze that she didn't even think about what would happened.

"Look at it this way Rainbow. This can just be a complimentary lesson to the lesson our friends taught you."

Something began to stir in Rainbow's mind at that. 'Wait how did he know about me being taught a lesson?' She than began wondering about the prank her friends pulled. '...WAIT!!! HOW DID THEY GET THEIR FUR GREY WITHOUT ANY MAKEUP!!!'

Rainbow glared at Discord yelling, "YOU KNEW ABOUT THEIR PRANK!!! Didn't you?!? You knew it even before I asked you to hold onto the cookies!"

She received a wicked smile. "Now Rainbow Dash, that would require Fluttershy telling me about your little prank on her, Pinkie asking for my help, and me wanting to join in to teach you a valuable lesson without telling you of her prank. Do you really think I would do that?"

Rainbow was glaring daggers at the spirit of chaos.

"Well looks like you have a lot to think about. Good luck with paying off the cookies!" Before he shut his door, Discord gave a smirk. "Oh, and the Smooze says thanks for the cookies."

With that Rainbow Dash started flying back home freaking out. "Ok, so I have no way of paying off those cookies. Maybe after that zombie prank they'll forgive me. After all every pony we went to paid for them with real bits so the filly scouts are still getting the money. Besides if my pony zombie movie plan goes well I should get more than enough to pay for the cookies."

*back to present time*

"...And well here we are."

Twilight face hoofed. "You trusted Discord."

"Hey I thought after our gaming sessions and being a fellow prankster he could be trusted!!!"

Session 31.12 BrutalityInc

It was game night, and normally it is a time for merriment with tabletop RPG games, free from the stress and pressures of real life. Yet right now, the Shadowbolts’ escapist fun is being interrupted by a table-thumping argument between the GM and one of the players.

“No! You can’t do that!” GM Sunny Flare shouted. “It’s against the rules!”

“Clearly, you haven’t read the manual thoroughly enough.” Sugarcoat insisted, her dull stoicism an immovable mountain in contrast to the storm that is Sunny Flare's current tantrum. “You are evidently wrong to assume just because –”

“I can assume that!” GM Sunny Flare exclaimed in frustration.

“Let’s review how we dealt with the elder werewolf, then.” Sugarcoat begin, and for emphasis, brought out and dropped with a ‘thump’ on the table a 30+ page pile of papers, titled “Operation Broken Fang”, which described in elaborate detail, with diagrams, extra sticky-notes and citations to the core rulebook and supplementary materials, their meticulous plan to destroy the elder werewolf.

“First, we lure the elder werewolf to a remote gas stop, by posting online on a Monster Hunters’ forum website our ‘plan’ to take it down there, knowing from our investigation that he was in fact a treacherous infiltrator inside the wider monster hunter compact, who would had read it and try to ambush us at the gas-stop.”

“Spare me the repetition! I saw what you girls did!” GM Sunny Flare seethed, “But how is that - ?!”

“It was a trap within a trap, obviously.” Sugarcoat deadpanned, “And the moment he crawled into the gas-station convenience store at midnight, we barred the doors behind him, retreated to a safe distance and detonated several hundred pounds of C-4 explosives we wired all-around said store and the gas-pumps.”

“I bet THAT must had been quite a boom to see!” Lemon Zest cheered. As if on cue, she played a soundbite on her phone, of someone with an accent shouting ‘Ka-BOOM!’ followed by the sound of an actual explosion.

“But it would not had been enough to - !” GM Sunny Flare protested.

“No, it clearly didn’t.” Sugarcoat said bluntly, “We returned to find the gas station a burning ruin, and so is the werewolf, who I accept was still very much alive, and utterly enraged. Thinking quickly, I climbed on board a truck nearby that improbably survived the explosion while the others distracted it with gunfire, then rammed said truck into the immolated werewolf and pinned it against a power utility pole.”

“Which electrocuted the poor thing for an hour even as it burned…” Lemon Zest said meekly. Then her face twisted with malicious glee as she growled, “Good thing my character love the smell of roasted ribs in the morning!”

“Okay, fine, but even then – !” GM Sunny Flare insisted, but was again interrupted.

“JUST in case that wasn’t enough, Sunny Flare, we did, as Lemon Zest pointed out, waited until the werewolf was nothing but charred skeleton, then carefully collected the remains and stuffed every last part of it in a medium-sized metal box.” Sugarcoat continued, “And for good measure, we welded the lid shut and placed at least three locks on the steel chains we wrapped around it.”

“But – but – !” GM Sunny Flare tried a final time to say something, but Sugarcoat kept talking as if she wasn’t there.

“And finally we deposited said box into a vat of molten metal in the nearest steel mill at noon, while nobody was looking.” Sugarcoat concluded. “Given the excessive levels of overkill we applied in this mission, there is simply no way for that elder werewolf to resurrect and –”

“OF COURSE IT STILL CAN!” GM Sunny Flare flat-out exploded, “Did you not read the rulebook?! It has. To be. A SILVER BULLET! Or a blade! Something none of you had!”

“The rulebook merely said that it is merely NIGH-invulnerable to damage by physical, ballistic or poisoned based weapons except those clad in silver, but it does not EXPLICITLY said that it is COMPLETELY-invulnerable to said damage.” Sugarcoat retorted calmly, even as she flipped through the book, “And in case you haven’t noticed, our method involved an explosion, fire from said explosion, a truck, a utility pole, a metal box and a vat of molten steel. Plus, on page 37 of the Monster Manual, paragraph 2 and 3, lines 5, 9 and 12 clearly states that an elder werewolf, while having greater resistance compare to normal werewolves, still retain their kind’s general vulnerability to fire and sunlight, the former of which we used to maximum advantage.”

“Does electricity count as fire?” Indigo Zapp asked curiously. “Well, it probably would set it MORE on fire, so I think…”

“I’m the GM, and what I say is always right!” GM Sunny Flare declared aloud, invoking the infamous ‘Rule Zero’, “And I say that you can’t kill the elder werewolf that way! And it’ll keep regenerate no matter how many times you put it down as long as you don’t have silver in your arsenal!”

“It defies all common sense.” Sugarcoat said, her own patience starting wear thin. “You are implying this monster could survive even a thermonuclear weapon as long as it is not killed within traditional parameters set in legend? That is preposterous, and you know it.”

“Will you two get it over with already?! We’re going to be here all night at this rate!” Sour Sweet grumbled.

“Can’t be helped when Sunny Flare remains so utterly intractable as a GM.” Sugarcoat defended calmly.

“Of course I am! You aren’t supposed to kill the elder werewolf this early!” GM Sunny Flare grumbled. “I’ll have to get that elder werewolf back SOMEHOW before you lot completely derailed my PERFECTLY planned campaign storyline!”

“Yeah, and to do that, next thing you’ll say the elder werewolf’s dark spiritual essence would now possess whatever vehicle the molten metal is used to make because we didn’t kill it properly with silver weapons. Or something like that.” Indigo Zapp noted sarcastically.

Sunny Flare’s eyes widened, then followed by her smile as she snatched the core rulebook away from Sugarcoat and flipped it to the right page, “Well, now that you mentioned it…”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Sugarcoat muttered.

Session 31.13 Ardashir

"Dangit Lemon Zest! Sunny Flare!" Sour Sweet and Indigo Zap dragged their once-human friends -- er, schoolmates -- by their newfound equine tails towards the mirror gate. Ponies themselves, they grunted the words out around the mouthfuls of hair they held between their jaws. "For the last time, we can't stay here in Magic Horseland! We have midterms back home!"

"Personally I say leave them here," the ponified Sugarcoat bluntly remarked as she watched from nearby. "They can get jobs pulling a cart or something. Given their grade averages they were probably headed for that anyway."

"NOOO!" Sunny Flare tried to both break free and hold on to the bucket full of precious gems she held in her forelegs. "I don't wanna go back! These bozo ponies throw away these gemstones like they were nothing! I wanna stay here and get rich and marry some prince so I can have plenty of servants to boss around!"

"I like it better here!" Lemon Zest yelled. "That skinny horned snake-dragon thingy told me I had the best sense of humor he'd ever seen in a pony! That I was the daughter he always wanted but never dreamed a sane universe would allow! And whenever we want to have fun we can go to that Never-Feed place next door and beat up monsters like we do online! No studies or tests or Principal Cinch here, we can just eat grass and sleep under the stars every night!"

"Besides," Sunny Flare said, "the transformation is, uh, altering our brains! Yeah, that's it! Pretty soon we'll hate humanity and want to change everyone, I mean, everypony else."

"That's not just a lie, it's a stupid lie." Sugarcoat shook her head.

Both the mares continued sobbing and fighting as they were dragged to the gate.

Nearby, Twilight Sparkle scowled at Rainbow Dash, as she tried and failed to look innocent.

"Okay," Dash finally said. "I will NEVER lead humans from that other world to Equestria again, no matter how funny I think it is. Pinkie Pie Promise."

Session 31.14 Ardashir

"So THERE!" Rainbow Dash gave Twilight a somewhat manic smile, one of her eyes twitching. She didn't notice Twilight's smug grin as she went on. "Despite me getting ponynapped by your pet axe murderer, and having a wing chopped off," she flapped both her wings victoriously, sending papers on the table fluttering, "AND having to be rescued by Rarity and Applejack's characters, we STILL killed that monster!" She looked at the map. "And no 'mysterious death' so he can jump us on the way out; we threw him into dragon fire and saw him end up ashes."

"And good riddance, too. What a brute!" Rarity looked down at her character sheet and sighed. "My poor PC will never be able to run in the Friendship Games now that she had only three legs."

"Did ya really have ta make it that nasty, Twi?" Applejack shook herself. "All three o' us are goin' home scarred from this. Er, in the game, Ah mean."

"It IS a horror game, girls," Twilight said as she checked out a list of pre-rolled d20 numbers she'd asked them to make, without explaining why. A wicked smile that would have impressed King Sombra began to go over her face. "This isn't fantasy or some other heroic genre where heroes slay monsters at every turn without loss; victory is supposed to be difficult and hard-won in horror." She looked up and smiled even more evilly. "When you have won, that is."

Three ponies felt their blood run cold.

"What d'ya mean?" Dash gulped as Twilight fluttered her eyes at her mock-seductively.

"Oh, just this," she pointed a hoof at her. "You didn't think about the part of the legend you were told where 'Through his prey's nightmares, Krastos the Gluemaker will live again'?" Twilight's horn glowed and she made an illusion, showing Dash's maimed character in a hospital bed at night. At the same time she used another spell taught her by Luna that made the interior of the room darken as a slow chill went along the spines of her three friends.

"The first night, you have a nightmare about Krastos chasing you again. It ends with him calling, 'Rainbow Dash, I'm in the street outside!' The same the second night, but it ends with Krastos saying," Twilight's voice became the scratchy croak of the 'real' Krastos, "'Rainbow Dash, I'm at the door!'"

"Did somepony hear that?" Applejack whispered as they heard what seemed like a scraping sound. The three began to huddle together.

"And the third night," Twilight said, almost vanishing in the deepening darkness, "'it ends with Krastos saying, 'Rainbow Dash, I'M RIGHT BEHIND YOU!'"

A rough scaly hand fell on Dash's withers at that very moment.

With a scream Rainbow Dash shot skywards, leaving the table, her friends, and Spike with his tray of treats at ground zero of a Sonic Rainboom.

Session 31.15 BrutalityInc

"Since you had failed to catch Archduke Villainous Vile," Oubliette Overseer Princess Twilight declared, "He has escaped to the safety of his redoubt. Before you stand a massive, heavily fortified stronghold, with thick, towering walls strong enough to stop a charging dragon dead in its track, garrisoned by many thousands of pony-at-arms, knights and archers, protected by potent magical spells and enchantments maintained by a conclave of high level wizards and mages. It has its own farms and water supply, allowing it to easily withstand a siege for decades.”

“Nice going, Trixie! There’s no way in Tartarus we can possibly catch him now!” Rainbow Dash said disparagingly.

“It is not Trixie’s fault that we failed to catch him. The plan was foal-proof!” Trixie defended, turning her own ire and frustration on Rainbow Dash, “The fault lies in the execution, and Trixie would say that had you been so hot-headed - !”

“Well, what can we do?” Applejack interrupted before the argument could escalate, “Rainbow Dash is right, it’s the few of us against a massive fortress armed to the teeth.”

“You designed this to be an impossible challenge, did you, Twilight?” Fluttershy asked meekly.

Princess Twilight winced from Fluttershy’s look, but she held her ground. “Unfortunately, yes. This part of the campaign is designed with the intention of testing the players’ patience and endurance in the face of adversity. You CAN overcome this, but there’s little room for any clever tricks or cunning that would land you an easy victory. To defeat Archduke Vile, you must be ready to put all effort and pull all the stops in getting the resources and levels necessary to overcome his defences.”

“If Trixie didn’t know better, Trixie would think you are still mad and vindictive from the previous times we found ways to derail your campaign.” Trixie muttered.

“I am not!” Princess Twilight flatly denied.

“In any case, it’s still a nigh-impossible mission with our current levels. From the look of this, darlings, we’re going to need siege weapons, our own army, a dozen mages at the same calibre of Trixie’s character.” Rarity noted. “The question is, how are we going to procure such means? Our wallets are not exactly full as it is, and even then, where can we find it?”

"Can't we just request one from the king?" Applejack asked the sensible question.

Princess Twilight shook her head, "With the kingdom currently at war? All troops are currently engaged with the foreign enemy that the Archduke had been secretly aiding. As far as it is concerned, you're all on your own, with royal orders to stop the Archduke by any means possible before he does any more damage to the kingdom."

Trixie looked at the challenge presented before her thoughtfully, her mind whirling. Then, her eyes widened as a brainwave hit her.

“Trixie, why are you grinning?” Princess Twilight asked, feeling a twinge of worry.

“You presented a most interesting challenge, and Trixie takes it with gusto.” Trixie said as she took up a pen and paper and began to plot. “And Trixie has already conceived a solution, or rather three, that would grant us the sweetest victory yet!”

= = =

“We’re doing WHAT?!” Everypony in the adventuring group exclaimed at Trixie’s plans.

“We do what Trixie has said.” Trixie began, “We trek down to the lands which belonged to the Archduke, prior to his disgraceful expose as a bully and a traitor before the king by our hooves, and invited the many thousands of ponies from the villages and cities of his land who had been wronged by his tyranny to come over for a chance of vengeance against their former oppressor.”

“And… you want to use them as cannon fodder to attack the Duke’s stronghold?!” Fluttershy asked, going pale with horror.

“No, no! Nothing that ruthless.” Trixie assured, “We merely ask them to line up in a straight line, just outside the range of the stronghold’s ballista bolts and arrows, and use them as a free, improvised siege weapon to destroy the walls of the stronghold.”

“How does that work?!” Pinkie asked, “That sounds wacky even by my standards.”

“We are confused, Trixie. And you better assure us that it’s all within the rules.” Rarity demanded.

“You would recall, dear Rarity, that all characters in O&O, player and NPCs, are allowed ‘Free Actions’.” Trixie began her explanation, “Any action that takes so little to no effort, it occurs instantaneously. It includes talking, making gestures – or passing an object. And you can use however many free actions as you want.”

“So, we line up say around two thousand ponies in a straight line give a take two hundred, over three kilometres long, one end towards the stronghold’s walls, and the other end a pile of objects. Said objects in question would be 20 kilogram cannonballs.” Trixie continued

“So, what? Do they just pass the balls from the guy at the pile to the guy facing the wall, and the last guy would just throw it?” Rainbow Dash asked, “That’s not going to go anywhere but a meter at most!”

“In the real world, true, but you forget, we’re playing in an O&O world.” Trixie said, smiling deviously, “O&O worlds follow O&O rules, and if we go by such rules, in the first combat round, the pony at the end could ready a free action to throw, while the rest ready a free action to pass the cannonballs. Then the next round, they would complete their action, instantaneously, causing the cannonball to be passed over six kilometres and then thrown at the walls IN A SINGLE ROUND!”

“Each round lasts around 6 seconds. So assuming three kilometres long and all Free Actions are simultaneous…” Applejack used Apple math, and it was super effective, “Great horny toads, you just accelerated the cannonball at nearly 2000 kilometres per hour!”

“That’s over Mach 1!” Rainbow Dash shouted, jaws hanging in shock.

“That’s right!” Trixie confirmed dramatically, “And since each round last 6 seconds, readying and firing again would mean we have a fire rate of 12 seconds per shot. No amount of fortification could survive this sort of punishment; we’ll bring down those walls in less than half an hour, and for cheap!”

“But what about the garrison?” Rarity asked.

“Nothing the army of mercenaries we would bring along cannot handle…” Trixie assured.

“Again, the monster in the details; how are we going to get the money to hire them?” Rarity asked doubtfully.

“My 11 level sorceress can handle it; since for Applejack’s warrior’s sake Trixie’s sorceress had taken max levels at weaponsmithing, it’s just a simple matter of blowing 50 gp to cast the spell Wall of Iron, then use Fabricate spell to generate Masterwork Swords. Trixie ran the math by Twilight’s old academy friend Moondancer; assuming a masterwork sword is weighs about 1.6 kg, according to rulebook, and accounting for the Wall of Iron's mass and density from the size mentioned in the stats, I could generate upwards six to seven thousand masterwork swords. Then it’s a simple matter of teleporting to the Capital and selling the swords in the market there for literally MILLIONS of gps worth of cash in total!”

Rarity gaped at the sheer audacity of Trixie’s get-rich scheme, and then she fainted.

“Alright, alright, so we got the army and even the supplies handled, but what about the conclave of wizards and mages protecting the evil Archduke’s castle? Any bright ideas?” Applejack asked, wary of Trixie’s even more ludicrous rule-bending plans.

Trixie snickered as Fluttershy attempted to wake Rarity from her shock, “Do you know what one can do with just a level 9 Wish spell and level 7 Simulacrum spell? The simulacrum, made from ice, a strand of mane hair and 1500 gp of ruby dust, knows and can cast any spell as Trixie’s sorceress could, but doesn’t need to do so without any materials that Trixie’s sorceress needs to cast spells. Realizing this, it’s a simple matter for Trixie to use Wish to acquire the materials she needs, cast Simulacrum, then order said Simulacrum to use Wish to duplicate the effects of Simulacrum on Trixie herself, then ordering the next Simulacrum to do the same. Trixie plans to repeat the process until Trixie’s sorceress has a WHOLE BATTALION of herself, more than enough magical might then to defeat the Archduke’s conclave of wizards and mages and open the way for us to confront the Archduke himself!”

At this, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash finally couldn’t contain themselves, and rolled over laughing.

“Gotta hoof it to Trixie to come up with a plan like this!” Rainbow Dash admitted, wiping away mirthful tears, “Best part is, it’s all within the rules! Let’s see how Twilight’s going to flip out over this one!”

“It’s going to be one for the records!” Pinkie Pie cheered, “She’ll never see it coming!”

Of course, as a well-known Royal Guard saying goes, no plan survives contact with the enemy, as the adventuring party found out the next day…

Session 31.16 Kendell2

Back at the Mecha RPG, Eros had defeated her female pilot's ex, but naturally hadn't killed him while Dash and her mecha had successfully defeated her rival ace.

Trixie used Queen Majesty (who was decidedly their tank) had taken to handling the rank and file mecha.

To the shock of the Comet Kingdom's civilians, Super Guardina (still in her Hyper Mode) was PROTECTING them from the crossfire of the battle, leaving them questioning their views on the Equus denizens.

Applejack had gotten the smart idea and had Darn Tootin' (Twilight had finally got it) cause a collapse that blocked the hangers so they couldn't deploy any more soldiers.

However, when it seemed like the Comet Kingdom was losing and most of their army had been destroyed (with as few causalities as possible), their chief ace emerged in an unfinished but powerful mecha to be the final boss of the Comet Kingdom.

"Of course there'd be a final boss..." Rainbow Dash admitted.

What followed was a long hard battle ending with their mecha badly damaged, and the enemy mecha on it's last legs but still not completely destroyed.

"This boss is tougher than the last faction's final boss!" Rainbow Dash lamented. It looked like their health might not outlast the enemy's.

"Don't worry every pony! We've still got this!" said Pinkie Pie AND her pilot on the hologram. Joyful Heart's Hyper Mode had been activated on top of the upgrade it'd gotten, now having a cape made of energy streamers and golden bits, as well as a new chess piece. "Twilight, what if I use Joyful Heart's Super Fiesta Finish and EVERYPONY kicks the ball to each other to power it up?"

Twilight blinked. "That could work, but you'd ALL have to hit the attack roll. If it hits, it should be enough to one shot the monster, but if it fails, you could hurt your teammate."

The group decided to bank on it and rolled the dice...and managed to all win the attack roll (in some cases just barely).

"Alright, let's go everypony!"

The hologram depicted Joyful Heart forming a golden sphere in her hooves and throwing it into the air where Rainbow Dash's mecha kicked it to Applejack's and so on.

"Quick! We need a name to shout!" Rainbow yelled before the animation had finished.

One quick discussion later...

"HARMONY BREAKER!" the group decided on, their shout rivaling the Crusaders' typical shouts.

"...Bonus due to hotbloodedness..." Twilight said, having prepared earmuffs.

The Queen Majesty headbutted the now rainbow colored sphere down where Joyful Heart did a spin and soccer kicked it straight at the boss, who tried to use it's beams to counterattack but was overpowered and the resulting attack blew a hole straight through his mecha, carrying him back to Joyful Heart's hoof as their mecha collectively turned and allowed the final boss to explode dramatically, signally the end of the Comet Kingdom's assault on Equus.

Session 31.17 Zaku789

(My remembrance about D&D rules are hazy so please bare with me. Also guess the Blackadder reference.)

"So you wish to go to his lands eh?" Twilight asked curiously.

"Yep," Trixie said with a grin. There was no way Twilight can defeat this plan.

"Hmm... very well, you head out to the land that was once owned by Villainous Vile. It can best be described as a tuppenny- ha'penny place. Half an acre of sodden marshland with vast empty villages. Population: total would be 20 ponies, a dachshund named `Colin', and a small hen in its late forties."

".... WHAT!?!" Everyone shouted.

"What what?" Twilight asked innocently.

"Why is the population is freaking small!?" Trixie shouted.

"Well again marshland aren't exactly the best housing environment, plus most of the previous population as they prefer to start anew and avoid getting caught by Villainous Vile if he tried to regain his land."

"You can't make the population that small," Rainbow shouted.

"Why not? there no rule against it?" Twilight said. "Or did you honestly expect me not to factor in free action and your characters abilities."

Trixie forced a grin. "Will you excuse us for a moment."

"Sure." Twilight said as everyone left the room.

+

"So.... got any plan B?" Applejack asked.

"Give me a minute, I'm thinking," Trixie muttered.

Session 31.18 Zaku789

"Okay... after some consideration, I decided to shift some of the money for the mercenaries to also buy traditional siege weapons as well, it will weaken our forces a bit but we'll still be strong enough that it won't hurt my master sword plan," Trixie said.

"Uum, shouldn't we consider other options just in case she stops this or the wish spell plan?" Fluttershy asked.

"No way, those two plans are still awesome, and it was just dumb luck Twilight stopped the makeshift cannonball plan," Rainbow stated.

"But she did say she was factoring our character abilities as well as using free action," Fluttershy pointed out.

"Pfft, that just her trying to psyche us out," Rainbow Dash assured her friend as everyone decided to head back towards Twilight and played the game.

Session 31.19 Grogar-the-oneser (with an extra line by me)

So far, the sword plan was going well, they made the six to seven thousand masterwork swords, they teleported to the capitol and were going to sell the swords.... and that when things went south.

"Suddenly a guard walked into the shop, when he spotted all the swords, he then demanded that you hand them all over," Twilight said.

"What?!" Trixie shouted.

"There is a war going on, they need all the weapons they can get to help fight against the enemy," Twilight said.

"B-but we made these swords! The king can't do that!" Pinkie Pie stated.

"Normally no, they wouldn't blink if you just brought something like fifty swords, but bringing all the swords you created, which are in the thousands by the way, changes it from a sale in the guards' perspective to a generous donation." Twilight grinned.

+

"Gah! I didn't expect her to use the war to derail my plan!" Trixie roared as they were back to a group huddled.

"I can't believe Rainbow decided to punch the guard for and I quote 'acting like a greedy jerk'," Rarity said with an annoyed glare.

"He was being a greedy jerkface!" Rainbow snapped.

"Well thanks to you, not only did we lose the plan, we can't show our faces to the capital any time soon cause they're now looking for the group who attacked a guard!" Rarity snapped "Which makes it doubly troublesome since we could have easily revise with the information given us."

".... okay so maybe I didn't think my action completely through," Rainbow admitted.

Far away, In Tartarus, Tirek complained about his prison freezing over.

Session 31.20 Grogar-the-oneser

(Partly inspired SomeRandomMinion comment)

"Okay, she defeated my sword plan and my civilian plan, but there no way she can stop my simulacrum plan!"

"Hold on, but we have no weapons or siege tools!" Rarity said.

"Screw the weaponry, I'll use my wish magic to turn some of the simulacrums into giants, that way they can cause damage! Heck maybe they just lie on the castle and squash the bad guy, i know that will derail her game," Trixie stated.

"Plus with how many they are we don't need to hire an army," Rainbow Dash stated. "Heck we should have done that from the start! This plan is foolproof!"

"No offense, but considering Twilight's streak with this one, shouldn't we take Fluttershy's idea and make a back up?" Applejack asked.

"No way, this one has no character except us and the simulacrums, and they have to be obey Trixie, we got this!" Pinkie cheered.

+

"Seeing the army of simulacrum of various sizes, Villainous Vile urges his mages to cast a wind spell." Twilight said.

"Urr... you're not going to use explosive fireballs or something like that?" Trixie questioned.

"Nope, just a wind spell."

"See we totally have her now!" Rainbow said with her and Pinkie laughing. Trixie narrow her eyes however, she thought this was WAY too easy.

"The various mages were successful as the combine wind created by his vast mage forces form a giant tornado that sucked both your party and your constructs, you party barely survives when the storm over but it destroys your simulacrum army."

"... WHAT!?!?" Everypony but Trixie shouted.

"Haha!" Twilight grinned, for once everything was going her way as Game Master. "Looks like the Game Master outsmarted you this time, no derailing my game this time!"

"It's not over."

"Beg pardon?" Twilight said confused as she looked at Trixie.

"I said, this isn't over." Trixie said as she look at twilight with a grin. "You may have won the battle this time, but the war has just begun!! Though I must say it's about time you provided a decent challenge to the Great and Powerful Trixie off-game strategies."

-

"And lo legend still tell of a grand RPG between the Game Master Twilight and the player Trixie that inspired future generation to this day and make those who were present quake to this day," Starlight said as she watch the game from the other room while eating a bag of popcorn.

"... Who are you talking too?" Spike questioned.

"To my future Alicorn self. I'm sure she'll enjoy the narrative."

"... Right. Never mind."

Session 31.21 Mtangalion

"Seriously?" asked Rainbow Dash. "You're doing the clone army thing again?"

"Why not?" declared Trixie. "It's a perfectly good plan. Only dimwitted cartoon villains immediately abandon a mostly-successful scheme, when they could simply correct the one or two things that went wrong the first time."

Rarity frowned. "Pardon me, but doesn't the Archduke now know to expect this plan?"

"Not ta mention Twilight," said Applejack. "She's looking mighty smug over there."

Trixie ground her teeth. "As Oubliette Overseer, *Twilight* is bound to obey the rules! If I can logically address every one of her objections, then victory will be mine!"

Pinkie twiddled her hooves. "Yeahhhhhhh... my character goes back to town and gets a quick job from the adventurer's guild."

"I go with her," said Rainbow at once.

Fluttershy raised a hoof. "I'll..." Trixie glared at her. "... stay here and cheer Trixie on! Yay."

Trixie cleared her throat. "Now then! My wizard conjures several more iron walls, then uses the fabrication spell to begin crafting Ironbound Elemental Protection Charms! Also, Charms of Scrying Obfuscation! Once I have enough charms to cover my entire operation, I restart the Simulacrum production line!"

Twilight sat behind her Overseer screen, seeming deep in thought. "The Simulacra that you're making... I suppose you have them manufacturing charms as well?"

"Of course," said Trixie. "I can only cast those spells so many times in a day, and they're perfectly capable. What of it?"

Twilight grinned. "All right, then. Roll for a Sanity check."

Trixie blinked. "Are you saying... that Trixie must be crazy to be undertaking this plan? If pathetic attempts at humor are all that you can muster..."

"I'm quite serious," said Twilight. "Conjuration spells are classified as Dark magic. You know that, right?"

Trixie stared at her.

Twilight took a deep breath. "You *did* study the whole spell compendium, surely? You didn't just skim the spell descriptions for the ones with the most flash and explosions?"

Trixie twitched. "I... ah..."

"Of course, those spells are *mostly* safe." Twilight chuckled. "I mean, otherwise they wouldn't be in standard spell tomes, but you *have* been casting a lot of them lately."

"You're just making that up!" snapped Trixie. "Yes, that's it! You put that in the rule book just to thwart Trixie! Why would Conjuration spells be Dark magic?"

Twilight blinked. "Why wouldn't they be? They are in real life. The high level Manifestation spells are actually banned by royal edict, because they're too dangerous for anypony to use, as amply demonstrated by King Sombra... and certain other unicorns we know."

Rarity sighed. "You must admit, darling, it was glorious while it lasted, even if now I wish I could forget the whole retched episode."

Pinkie Pie blew a kiss to the fourth wall and waved her hoof cheerfully.

Trixie twitched some more. "Fine!" She rolled the dice and got a nineteen. "There, you see? There's no issue, and no need for Trixie to cast any more of those just a teensy bit dangerous spells."

"Ah, but there's more," said Twilight. "Your Simulacra have also been casting those spells. They're essentially you with half as many hit points, and less practical experience, so they'll have a penalty to their saving throws. If I figure the odds and assume that you've made one hundred clones so far... then three of them are seduced by Dark magic and turn evil." She started rolling some dice behind her screen ominously.

Trixie paled. "I find those clones quickly and..."

"One of them just attacked you, planning on stealing your magic for herself. Let's see... oh my. Number two just trotted off into the countryside, planning on blowing things up and telling everypony that you're responsible. And, the third joins forces with the Archduke and tells him everything you've been up to."

AJ smirked. "Ah should have just sat on the dang castle again."

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 31.0 Mtangalion
Session 31.1 Ardashir
Session 31.2 Alex Warlorn
Session 31.3 Mtangalion
Session 31.4 Alex Warlorn
Session 31.5 Ardashir
Session 31.6 Zaku789
Session 31.7 Mtangalion
Session 31.8 Alex Warlorn
Session 31.9 Zaku789 (with edits)
Session 31.10 Mtangalion
Session 31.11 sonicandmario826
Session 31.12 BrutalityInc
Session 31.13 Ardashir
Session 31.14 Ardashir
Session 31.15 BrutalityInc (For the record, yes, Trixie just became the Equestrian player who came up with versions of three notorious game-breaking rule-lawyering tactics from three separate D&D editions: the ‘Peasant Railgun’, the ‘15 million GP/Day’ and the ‘Clone Army’. For more details, go to 1d4chan.)
Session 31.16 Kendell2
Session 31.17 Zaku789
Session 31.18 Zaku789 (I better let other take it from here. Though I will add this.)
Session 31.19 Grogar-the-oneser (extra line by me)
Session 31.20 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 31.21 Mtangalion

Cover image by lightningtumble http://lightningtumble.deviantart.com/art/I-was-sneaking-329404764

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Session 33

Session 33.0 Zaku789

"Back off, I don't play that.... crud!" Apple Jack swore as he realized he couldn't say that phrase without it being misinterpreted due to his unique circumstance.

"Err... can I ask you for a favor...." Elusive asked the diamond wolf.

"Urrgh.... fine," Alexei sighed as he pulled out a Elusive costume.

"Hahaha! This is getting better," Rainbow cackled.

"Yeah.... too bad we're going to experience it ourselves soon enough," Pinkie laughed.

"Yeah... wait what?" At that Discord snapped his fingers turning Pinkie and Rainbow into there guys selves. Rainbow Blitz take a look at himself in the mirror. "By Celestia, I'm handsome!"

"Ooh," Sweetcream Scoop said as she left Apple Jack and Elusive to admire Rainbow Blitz.

".... I'm both relieve, yet strangely enough insulted that she ditch me for Rainbow Dash," Apple Jack said.

"Indeed," Elusive said. "Plus she obviously doesn't understand how hot we are as dudes, I mean look at me," Elusive pointed to the disguised Alexei.

"I'm really hoping the girls night isn't going to be as weird as this," Spike sighed.

Session 33.1 Alex Warlorn

As Apple Jack, 'Elusive', Berry Pie, Rainbow Blitz, and Dusk Shine, all dealt with Sweetcream Scoop (and talks about restraining orders), Berry Punch and Cloud Kicker played checkers across from the Friendship Castle (hearing Flim and Flam's cries of 'agony' from the 'Friendship Dungeon.').

"Sucks to be stuck with a single stereotype isn't it?" Berry Punch said as she moved a piece.

Kicker took a piece. "You can say that again. But looks like Sweetcream Scoop had finally 'de-throned' me as 'most perverted mare' in Ponyville... hopefully those foal protection services will stop listening to those stupid rumors and let me keep Alula now."

Berry took three. "Crown me. Good luck. Ponies still think all I do is get drunk off my flank. I'm lucky that I still have Ruby Pinch, I think they just haven't managed to find her father... At least there's Cheerilee is something goes wrong."

Kicker moved a piece. "It's almost like they're being given false leads to ignore the ACTUALLY neglective parents around here."

(In Another Universe)

Spike was certain of one thing at least. Crystal Hoof was no NPC. He dialogue was unfocused. He never repeated anything. Except whenever Spike brought up the subject, he instantly began talking in repetitive out of context sentences that only made it more obvious. Spike wanted to ask what was wrong, but then again, he was a talking dog on a computer. Maybe Crystal Hoof was an NPC who had gained self awareness and didn't want to be deleted? Well, if that was the case, his secret was safe with Spike's.

And with the others now focused on saving Rainbow Dash from her bad grades, he had to game outside of his normal group anyway. Heh-heh, he was going to be so far ahead of the rest of them when they got back to the game!

(Across Town)

"Agh! I can't believe this!" Rainbow Dash explained. "My dad actually paid the game company more than my subscription to keep me off the game until my grades go up!"

"They can do that?" Fluttershy asked shocked.

"Anything to make an extra-buck." Applejack snorted.

"Well... before ... Twilight went crazy and Spike closed the portal... " (It felt like it was going to take months to fix, but knew that it would turn out to be only a few days maybe on Equestria's side). "She did have an idea on how she helped HER Rainbow Dash study... But I was kinda hesitant about it."

As pony-uped Rainbow Dash flew over the various texts and basic facts engraved into the ground below her, her unconscious mind assimilating the knowledge, Applejack looked uneasy.

"Shouldn't we be worried about this?" Applejack asked. "What if someone uses this to make her join a cult or something?"

Princess Twilight smiled. "Oh some ponies already tried that, it turns out that just because Rainbow Dash assimilates the knowledge of a certain point of view, doesn't mean she automatically agrees with it. Turns out there's this little something called 'free will.'"

"Oh... okay then," Applejack said.

(Back in Equestria)

There was a knock on the cottage door, Fluttershy opened it. "OH!... Hello...uh, Thorax..." Fluttershy said hesitantly and tried to hide her fear.

"Hello, you're Fluttershy right? Spike talked about you."

"Hey Thorax! We're in here!" Spike waved a claw.

The animals all gave Thorax a wide berth.

"So, uh, how did you get to Ponyville?" Fluttershy asked awkwardly.

"I mailed myself as a Hearthwarming's Eve Tree, it was cheaper than buying a train ticket."

Fluttershy then gave a paranoid look at the fir tree outside her window.

Then Thorax saw Starlight Glimmer, and asked awkwardly. "Uh... are you Starlight Glimmer?"

Starlight wondered what sin she'd done to somepony Thorax cared for. "... Yes."

"Great Equalizer!" Thorax fell to his knees. "It's an honor to meet you! When I met sisters Buttons, Roseluck, Daisy, and Lilly, and told me you were here, I could barely believe it!"

"Uh, what?"

"When the changelings you helped see the light came to the hives, I listened to everything they said.. before Chrysalis stuck them in cocoons for daring to suggest she be equal to us. I want you to know that I fully support your vision of a world where changelings and ponies are all equal to each other instead of predator and prey! I've already joined the Ponyville chapter of our social movement!"

Starlight just stared. Big Mac said nothing.

"Oooooh! Awkward!" Discord quipped.

"AAAAH! Discord! The Curser!" Thorax shrieked seeing Discord at last.

Session 33.2 sonicandmario826

Discord rolled his eyes. "How come I get the screaming treatment and she doesn't."

Spike flatly replied. "Because you tortured ponies for fun, while she tried to make the world a better place."

"Oh..."

Session 33.3 Alex Warlorn

Starlight Glimmer said, "Uh, Discord's... no longer goes around cursing ponies, uh, maliciously... but we met already, remember, the Crystal Empire?"

"Yes, but my brothers never described what you looked like, I always assumed you were an Alicorn."

Starlight blushed more.

Session 33.4 Ardashir

"Yeesh, Elusive, do ya make Alisa wear Rarity-suits when you're, er, yourself?" Apple Jack said. Behind him, Rainbow Blitz was desperately trying to pry Sweetcream Scoops off of themselves.

"Leggo, ya stallion-crazy mare! I'm not really male, I'm a mare!"

"You think you're a mare?" Sweetcream giggled. "Okay, I like guys that are hot and dumb!"

"Hmmph, Apple Jack," Elusive tossed their head, the image of wounded dignity. "I am not THAT vain. Though sometimes it does help to have a full-size model of moi around when styling a new outfit.

Behind them Sweetcream was yanked away from Blitz by Dusk's magic. The pegasus stallion collapsed panting in relief as Sweetcream was firmly but gently set out the door. As it was closed and barred behind her her voice rang out, "I'm free later when you want to play other games, boys!"

Dusk turned back to his friends and Discord.

"Can we please get to the game already?" He nodded at Spike. "What adventure were you going to be using this time?"

"Er, well..." Spike winced and held up a cover showing stallions being carted off by lovely Amazon-esque mares and reading, Escape from the Lost City of Snu-Snu.

A moment later a shrieking dragon hatchling was fleeing down the corridor from six angry stallions and one peeved Diamond Wolf.

Session 33.5 sonicandmario826

Discord laughed as he watched the show, "I do hope girls night is as entertaining as this." He then began chewing on some popcorn he materialized.

"Should we go and help him?" Big Mac asked worried for the fearful dragon.

"Oh, I'm sure they won't hurt him." the pony and draconequus winced when they heard a scream. "At least... not too bad... I think."

Session 33.6 Grogar-the-oneser

A few days later on Thorax third visit, Starlight decided to set things straight with Thorax. she told him her extremism past, how the changeling that Thorax meet were probably the ones she caught in Our Town and were forcefully give a equal cutie mark (Something she admitted was contradictory to her no-good cutie mark philosophy since changeling don't have them in their real form) and how the branch run by Ponyville was run by a split personality from a mare who suffer from that and was given a body of her own.

Thorax was silent for a moment as he process all this "Do you feel guilty about it?"

"...Yes, I could have handle my philosophy in several different ways but went extremist due to my own prejudices guiding my choices too much and refuse to see the cracks that were forming from such decisions," Starlight admitted.

"Then you are a good person," Thorax said. "I have never known my queen to feel guilt about her actions, whether it's spreading that myth about all changelings being evil born creatures or the extermination of an entire race."

"... Thank you," Starlight said.

"You're welcome equalizer!"

"Okay can we drop that?" Starlight asked. "I can understand if you want the peaceful methods and still want to stay in the Ponyville branch, but I much prefer Starlight then equalizer."

"Okay e-Starlight," Thorax stated.

"Thank you. Now come on, I heard Trixie is the DM this time, I want to see what she has planned for this game."

-

"Ooh... Not only did your attack fail to connect, but the grimly weird reflected your attack and hit you straight on, almost taking your party out completely." Trixie cackled.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" Twilight asked.

"Considering the last time you were DM, do you honestly have to ask?" Trixie said.

"Not really no." Twilight sighed, honestly she should've seen it coming when it was Trixie's turn to be DM.

Session 33.7 BrutalityInc

"Hey Shining! How’s your sister and her friends doing with that ‘March of the Giants’ campaign module?" Gaffer asked, walking into Shining’s room.

The prince-regent was busy scrutinizing a letter from Twilight. "No making much progress, it seemed." Shining answered with a sigh, dropping the letter on a desk. "They’ve reached the dragon, but are having trouble dealing with it. They suggested that we nerf it a bit to make it less of a challenge for characters at their levels."

"Really, huh?" Gaffer muttered incredulously, before taking notes. "I’ve have a read of her recommendations on that letter, and then I’ll discuss it with 8-Bit. Not sure if there’s any way to cut down without losing the challenging feel that dragon is supposed to bring to the players."

"We’ll find a way..." Shining Armor noted. "Then again, if you’re a giant in real life, like that Queen Supia from Neighpon, even a dragon wouldn’t actually be that much of a challenge, wouldn’t it?"

"True..." Gaffer concurred, "Makes you wonder if they play these games themselves, just for the sake of a fun challenge."

"Bah, what are the odds...?" Shining Armor said dismissively.

= = =

"Your magical Kopis sword bounces from the tower shield of the black knight. He swings his massive Warhammer in your direction." Queen Supia, the GM, declared, loud enough that her voice echoed through the valley the group of giants royalty from around the world had secreted themselves in. "Roll for defence!"

The cyclops king Occulus, ruler of the Taurus Peninsula city-state of Arges (A semi-autonomous region of the Taurus Republic, along with two sister city-states, Brontes and Strepes), narrowed his single eye as his curved horn, then tossed the dices in a carefully mediated burst of orange magic. The dices, each size of a house, landed in resounding on the ground, digging craters with their corners as it rolled across the abandoned fields, before coming to a halt crashing into an abandoned barn and farmhouse, respectively.

"Seven. Is this good?" The cyclops king asked, his voice belying a practiced regal tone, befitting a monarch.

"Just barely." Queen Supia confirmed, "You blocked the blow with your hoplon shield, but it knocks you back against the pillar. Your Hexblade warrior suffers damage from knockback and concussion."

"Figures. I knew I should had dodged instead..." King Occulus said, rather disappointed. "Then again, we never felt the need to."

"This is getting tiresome!" Tyrannoi Seismos, warlord of one of the biggest tribes of Gigantes in the giant lands of Taurus Peninsula, slammed his gauntlet hoof into the ground in vexation. True to his title, he wore resplendent hoplite armour, fit to his massive size, in contrast to the impeccably groomed and toga-dressed cyclops king he towered over. And true to his name, when his hoof connected with the earth, an earthquake rumbled through the valley, shaking everything but the giants themselves. "We had spent 20 minutes trying to get through just three of them, let alone a hundred! How tough are those ‘black knights’, really? I bet I could had easily prowled through them in real life, like any of those tinies’ stronghold walls!"

"Easy for YOU to say." Chief Cawr, ruler of a clan of cloud giant from Cassiterdes, retorted. Despite being the smallest of all the giants, the giant pegasi would still had stood over Ponyville gazebo. "How long has it been, if ever, since you fought anyone who is at least as big as you are? I bet most of the time, you can just flatten whole formations and swallow them by the hundreds!"

"Well, I can’t help it if we Gigantes are the biggest, most powerful of all giants in this land!" Seismos boasted proudly, then paused, "Present company excluded, of course." He added at the annoyed looks from the others, "When even the largest hydra doesn’t clear our knees, how can you expect any fight we get into to be fair? That’s why we always preferred wars with other tribes then raids into the tinies’ lands in the Peninsula..." He leaned towards Cawr and grinned sardonically, showing his rows of enormous teeth. "And for the record, hoplite armies are more filling than you think. They go well with a few lakes of wine and a forest of olive trees."

Cawr cringed back from the maw that had devoured armies and monsters, but remained defiant, "We cloud-giants back in Cassiterdes don’t get that luxury. True, only the local wyrms are larger than us, but we know better than to think our larger sizes makes us invincible. Ancestor knows how many foolish among us went raiding, only to flee back up the great beanstalks with their flanks punctured with swords and lances..."

"Contrary to popular myths among the ponies and minotaurs, we don’t DO fighting." King Occulus interjected, "We are proud artisans and smiths, dedicating our efforts to works of arts, crafts and sorcery. The ones who inspired that chapter in the Journey of Metis are exiles who rejected our ways, and so we rejected them in turn. We are never pony-eating monsters that everypony imagine us to be; it’s just so uncivilized."

Seismos snorted, "Well THAT explains why you lot weren’t around during the Gigantomachy..."

"The closest I’ve come to fighting an equal would be that giant orochi that threatened my hive centuries back," Queen Supia added. An itch caused her to snap her tail, and a cliff-side came crumbling down from the force of the blow. "Though a mere pony – or was it a han-kami? – somehow managed to beat me to it, slaying that mountain-sized seven-headed cretin with only a samurai sword of all things. Then there was my wicked sister Queen Chrysalis when she temporarily usurped the power of the Idol of Astra to become giant-sized, but we settled it with a game of Changeling Go, along with Gerulf-kun and Ojo Twilight-san."

"That reminds me, I must have that new helmet Grand Griffon Gerulf had commissioned ready for next Saturday..." King Occulus noted.

"Still, Chief Cawr has a point; who here among us had regularly faced foes of equal size and strength on a regular basis?" Queen Supia asked.

"I did. As had my father and his father before him."

All present turned to the young Jotunn prince in their midst. Despite the youngest player amongst them by a few centuries, the giant deer still towered over even Seismos and Queen Supia by a considerable margin.

"Really now, young prince Geri? What manner of foe do your people face?" Seismos asked, curious.

"Well, we have two." Geri rumbled like a tuba, his voice deep for his age, "First, the Nidhoggs, the largest of all wyverns in the world. In grim Jotunheim, we must regularly fight against them over the scarce food and riches that could be found there." He paused to scrape an entire forest from a hill side with his antler’s magical telekinesis, before nonchalantly munching on them as one would a bag of chips. "The attire I dressed in, I’m proud to say, belongs to the first Nidhogg I slayed in my first battle, remade as armour that I now wore as a badge of honour." He said, pawing the hide for emphasis.

"And the other one?" Chief Cawr asked.

At this, Prince Geri’s eyes narrowed, "There are many races of Jotunn, also called Risars, though hardly any of us get along very well. We Bergrisar, or mountain-Jotunns, are rivals with the Leirjötnar, or earth-Jotunns. The Hrímþursar, or ice-Jotunns, and the Vindþursar, the wind-Jotunns, mutually despised each other. The Sjórisar disliked us land-dwellers in general. But EVERY Jotunn are united in their revulsion of the Eldjötnar, the fire-Jotunns."

"Really, now? What made the fire-Jotunns so hated?" Queen Supia asked, warily.

"Imagine, if you will, giants like myself, but can wield fire as their innate gift, and dwell in the fiery volcanic lands in Jotunheim. Imagine a whole culture of cut-throat, bloodthirsty warriors who knew nothing of honour or mercy, whose only desire are carnage and slaughter. Now imagine that the most strong, most ruthless and most insane of them all, King Surtr, wishes only to see the Jotunheim burn, just so he could rule over the ashes that remain." Prince Geri gritted his teeth, "Every few centuries, the Eldjötnar hordes would march forth to conquer, with Surtr at its head, wielding a flaming sword that could cut through mountain tops in a single-swipe. It takes the entirety of Jotunn-kind setting aside their differences just to push them back to their homeland; and there, Surtr would bid his time once more, waiting for his people to recover, until they are ready to try again."

He sighed, "There is a prophecy, saying that when the time came that the other Jotunns failed to hold back Surtr, the world will end. I’m starting to believe that it just might be true."

Every other giant in the group shuddered.

"Maybe we should be thankful that we don’t always have to deal with our equals in size and power." Queen Supia said, a conclusion that had all others nodding in concurrence. "Perhaps... instead of playing as characters and story campaigns of the smaller races, we should play as our own kind! I’ve heard that there is a campaign called ‘March of the Giants’ that is currently in beta-testing. Let us try that for our next O&O session, once I procure a copy from Equestria!"

There was a general chorus of agreements and enthusiasm.

"Really now?" "That should be interesting!" "I look forward to it." "I wonder if they had written us correctly..."

= = =

"Hey, Gaffer, why do I have a bad feeling we’ll be changing a lot more than the dragon battle?" Shining Armour muttered.

Session 33.8 Mtangalion

As a princess of Equestria, Luna believed that she and her sister worked very hard on behalf of their little ponies, and as such, they were absolutely entitled to certain perks and eccentricities.

One of these occupied a table in her private study: a "personal computer" brought over from another world, one of fewer than ten in all of Equestria. (Yakyakistan was another story.) A second one sat beside the first, an ingenious crystal matrix which supplied both power and communications to the alien device, designed by none other than Princess Twilight Sparkle.

Currently, Luna was using this marvel of magic and technology... to make her griffon paladin alt fly laps round and round Griffonstone. Round, and round, and round...

Luna sighed. "We are *bored*. Bored of farming the Discord raid, bored of performing menial daily tasks for reputation and gold. Why can the new expansion not be *released* already?!"

She pushed her chair back from the desk and turned her head aside peevishly... yes, peevishly! "To think that such a marvelous world could come to this. Or that magic-impaired humans could create it in the first place. So many minds joined, all creating this fantasy together every day. Why, 'tis almost like..." She blinked. "A shared dream!"

The Princess of the Night sat up straight, considering. "Could I? Should I?"

She lit her horn and closed her eyes, reaching out along the connection, and with surprising ease, a door opened... just like the door to the dream world, only more... pixelated? Was that the proper term?

Luna grinned. "Night court is done, and the dawn is many hours off. What harm could there be in exploring?"

When Luna became lucid, her surroundings were dark and eerie, to say the least. Heavy armor weighed her down... why was she wearing that in a drawing room built from black crystal with purple velvet drapes, lit only by flicking blue candles. Unless...

A glance in a nearby mirror confirmed it. "I've done it!" Luna exclaimed. "I'm inside the World of Horsecraft, and I seem to be in control of this representation of Nightmare Moon from that raid!" Reminding herself firmly that this *was* just a dream, one that she could end at any time, she posed in front of the mirror, grinning with fangs gleaming. "Ha, ha-ha... MWA-HA-HA! 'Tis like mine own private Nightmare Night festival!"

Soft, mysterious organ music started playing, making her ears prick up. "I remember that tune! Could it be... adventurers have come to challenge Nightmare Moon, right at this moment?" She tapped her chin with a hoof. "I was not aware that anypony still ran that raid. Still, it could be fun!"

Luna turned herself into inky-black mists which swarmed into the throne room, following the script. "You still believe that you can defeat me? You little FOALS! You will never see your princess or your precious... sun?"

There was no raid waiting to face her, just one bored-looking unicorn, dressed in epic hunter's mail. "Blah, blah," he said. "I hate it when old bosses won't shut up and fight already."

Luna raised a brow, and almost mocked the poor foal for coming here alone, but that wasn't in the game's script. "Shadowbolt captains, to me! Your Princess commands you!"

The lone unicorn whipped his bow out and fired a barrage that immediately took half her health off.

"You're kidding. You're kidding, right?" said Nightmare Moon automatically, while Luna reeled in shock. As the hunter picked off the elite Shadowbolts with one shot each, she suddenly realized what was going on. Nightmare Moon was a level 50 raid boss, the game's original level cap. The unicorn was a level *70* hunter.

"Enough of these games, deal with... hey, I wasn't finished..." The script lurched again, trying to keep up with her plummeting health bar. "ENOUGH! I am Nightmare Moon. I AM THE..."

The hunter blew all the dark spirits away with one volley of magic arrows, and rainbows blasted Nightmare Moon before she could even finish her speech. The hunter made a face, rummaging through her loot chest. "Dang it, she didn't drop the Chariot of Tirek! Oh well, maybe next week." Then he teleported out with his hearthstone while the Celestia and Luna cutscene was still playing.

Luna found herself right back in the sitting room. "What?" she stammered. "What was that... you can't just..." Then the organ music started playing again, making her twitch.

The second adventurer did much the same as the first. And the third, and the fourth... After being summarily executed for her loot ten times in fifteen minutes, Luna had had ENOUGH.

The next adventurer, an earth pony monk, was surprised to find the throne room blocked off by a shimmering dark barrier before he could charge in. Nightmare Moon began to laugh ominously. "Do you really think it's fair that you've gained twenty levels, while the villains have not?" she crooned. The level number on her health bar ticked from 50 up to 51, then 52, 53...

She seemed to loom, towering over the poor pony. "Do you not know that levels are a gameplay mechanic, not an absolute indicator of relative power? Does it even remotely make sense that a mere adventurer should grow more powerful than the dreaded Nightmare Moon, simply by way of questing through the latest expansion pack?" Her level grew all the way to 70, her fang-toothed grin even wider. "I think not!!"

A squadron of *seven* level 70 Shadowbolts proceeded to beat the paladin unconscious in ten seconds flat.

Luna enjoyed her just retribution for nearly an hour before the inevitable happened. Word had spread, and someone had put together a full raid of level 70s to challenge her. Luna considered this, and decided that a little dream theater improvisation was called for.

"Welcome to my Nightmare Realm!" declared Nightmare Moon. "Behold, a realm of Night Eternal, where my reign never ended, and I rule supreme and unchallenged! Do you think you have even the slightest chance of defeating me here?" She flared her wings. "Face me, if you dare!!"

President Sombra slammed a fist on his conference table. "And if I ever find out who implemented this Nightmare difficulty mode without my authorization, they're fired."

Discord slouched in his chair, *wishing* he'd thought of it. "I'll take it out of the game right away, sir!"

Sombra blinked. "Are you kidding? It's a huge hit with the players, and it's way cheaper than developing new content! Go make Nightmare versions of lots more bosses. Well? What are you still sitting around here for? Go, chop chop!"

Session 33.9 Grogar-the-oneser

"You sure?" Discord questioned. "We don't know what changed changed the Nightmare Moon raid will affect the servers."

"Bah, as long as it's making us money I don't care if it crashes our freaking servers," Sombra said.

"Alright." Discord shrugged, but inwardly, he had a gut feeling that whoever did it, was probably from that place that other Discord was.

(AN: read a few chapter back where Discord messed with the ending of the Discorded Route and human Discord messed with him in return.)

"Well hacker, whoever you are, hope you don't like to be trolled, cause I do so LOVE messing with hackers," Discord cackled.

+++

"Why are we doing the Nightmare Moon run?" Indigo Zap moaned. "She's so a last season boss."

"I told you, they totally amped her up for this update," Lemon Zest said "Plus we need to up our level, the crystal empire expansion is coming and we need to be on top of our game."

"Alright, but this better be a very interesting fight." Indigo moaned.

Session 33.10 Ardashir

While all this was going on with World of Horsecraft, Chrysalis was having her own civil and respectful discussion with the programmers. Behind her, a screen showed 'Nightmare Moon' taking down yet another high-powered raiding party.

"Listen to me, you miserable insects!" She hissed the words out as they trembled before her. "You say none of you put this new and improved Nightmare Moon into the game? And that the programming records confirm it? Okay then, WHERE DID SHE COME FROM?"

"Uh, well, Ma'am," one trembling programmer said. "There's nothing to indicate where she came from. It's like she came out of nowhere."

"That's impossible! Next you'll be telling me it's real magic and she's a REAL magic horse. That ugly old nag."

"Don't say that, ma'am!" One of the other programmers hurriedly said. She scowled at him as he said, "Some of us have tried removing her, but she comes right back in the game, and," he gulped, "and we have horrible nightmares afterwards! Almost as though Nightmare Moon was angry and wanted revenge!"

"Idiots." Chrysalis glared at them and walked away, shaking her head. "Idiots! Incompetents! Scared of a cheesy fantasy character!" She walked past the screen, not noticing how Nightmare Moon seemingly glared at her as she said, "Hell, even if she did exist, I wouldn't be afraid of her! I'd tell her as much to her ugly face!"

Later that night, Chrysalis ran shrieking through a dream-version of the Nightmare's castle. For some reason she was in the form of the Changeling Queen from the as yet unreleased expansion. Spellbolts exploded around her as she ran.

"AHHH! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Chrysalis barely dodged another blast. "I didn't mean to call you an ugly old nag!"

"Old Nag, am I?" Nightmare Moon, supported by her Shadowbolts, flew after her in a rage. In her magic she held both a giant flyswatter and a can of Raid. "Cheesy fantasy villain, am I?!? TAKE THY RIGHTFUL PUNISHMENT, KNAVE!"

Session 33.11 Grogar-the-oneser

"Aha! There the unique 'codes'," Discord said as he worked on his computer. Unlike Chrysalis' mixed army of intern/employees, he knows better then just deleting it, and incurring whoever-it-was' wrath as they just re-add that code. "To defeat ones enemy, You have to one up them." He then noticed a team of players heading to fight nightmare moon "And I know just how to do it while giving players a unique gaming experience." Discord grinned as he cracked his fingers before typing rapidly into his computer.

+

"Hmm.... ever get the feeling you were about to help a troll stop a hacker unwittingly?" Sunny Flare asked.

"No dearies i'm afraid not," Sour Sweet said kindly before changing tone. "Now stop talking stupid, were getting close to the boss."

Session 33.12 Alex Warlorn

Like animatronics, a set of zombified zebra marched forward mechanically playing instruments with a thousand yard stare as they marched forward. The ponies of Appleloosa were obviously very disturbed. As were the visiting buffaloo. They were carrying white flags. But also a banner, 'Changelings Roxs! Celestia Sucks!' Three changelings in vests marched behind them, and behind them, was Chrysalis herself, also carrying a white flag.

The visiting Ponyville Buckball team faced the changeling queen, along with the Sheriff and Braeburn.

'Gaming truce' or not, everypony knew it was just a matter of time before Chrysalis broke it. But ponies being ponies, unlike many nations, weren't about to break it first.

Fluttershy hide behind the frowning Pinkie Pie. Rainbow Dash stood ready.

"What are you doing here Chrysalis?!" Applejack hissed.

"Isn't it obvious. The Changeling Kingdom is here to challenge Appleloosa to a buckball game. We have our racial superiority to prove after all." The three changelings in green vests nodded.

Braeburn stood in awe at the words for a few seconds before shouting. "ABSOLUTELY NOT! That makes no sense! The rules say ya need a pegasus, a earth pony, and a unicorn! Ya ain't any of those!"

The changelings looked at each other.

One turned into a dark gray pegasus mare with a green mane with a sniper's crosshairs cutie mark.

The next turned into a similar colored unicorn with a cutie mark of spider web with a fly trapped in it.

The last one turned into an earth pony with a skull and crossbones cutie ark.

"Now hold on! They ain't really those! They're still changelings!"

"We deal with shape shifting, not illusions." Chrysalis said.

"That answer is still no!" Braeburn said. "Ah organized Appleloosa's Buckball chapter and what Ah say ain't so, ain't so!"

Chrysalis grinned. "That's not what my lawyer says." Chrysalis pulled out a sheet of paper with her magic. "Unless you want your team and Appleloosa banned from every major buckball circuits, I suggest you let my team have a go at it."

Rainbow Dash grabbed a nearby storm cloud and struck the piece of paper with lightning, and it reflected right off it and hit Pinkie Pie.

"Ooowie." She said with a frazzled mane.

"Sorry Pinkie!"

"It's okay."

Queen Chrysalis snorted a laugh. "Didn't anyling ever tell you? You can't brute force break a legal document!"

"You're holding them zebra as SLAVES! No way anypony in Equestria is gonna say Ah'm wrong for still tellin' ya no!"

Chrysalis pulled out another piece of paper. "It's totally within their contract. It says right here 'I undersigned agree to be brainwashed during work hours at any time and be used as a love-battery by the contractor and their associates.'"

"Why would ANYPONY agree to that?!" Applejack demanded.

"The free dental."

"Ugh!"

"If you have any other problems I suggest you talk to my lawyer."

"So what circle of Hades did you summon him from?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"What a stereotype, my lawyer's from the Outer-Realm, completely different plane of existence. I pay him in freshly baked cookies."

Braeburn grunted. "Fine! But we're still gonna beat your keesters!"

"Go ahead and try!" Snorted the pegasus mare.

"We were literally born for this!" Boasted the Earth pony with a Stallengrad accent.

"Just default now to avoid humiliation!" Said the unicorn matter of fact.

"So what are your names?" Pinkie Pie asked, of course.

"We're Genetic Experiment Gen-4 23-B, C, and D." The unicorn gestured at the pegasus, himself, and the Earth Pony.

"What happened to Genetic Experiment Gen-4 23-A?"

"The nurses take good care of her," 23-B said.

Applejack couldn't believe this. "You BRED Buckball players?!"

Chrysalis clapped her hooves. "We changelings have a saying, 'Everything is genetic.' Insanity, intelligence, health, talent, place in society, it's all predetermined by DNA."

"Hey!" A trio of griffin flew down upon the town. "What's going on here!"

"Hey! Don't I know you from someplace?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Forgot me already?" The griffin pulled out a bronze medal as did her teammates. "Name's Giselle. Remember? We represented Griffinstone at the last games! We heard about your new sport, and we have to rebuild Griffinstone's reputation... what are bug ponies doing here?"

The changelings present did not like the term 'bug pony.'

"Hi." Snails waved at the queen with a smile on his face.

Chrysalis' raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you scared of me?"

"Should I be?" Snails asked simply.

Session 33.13 Grogar-the-oneser

"Uggh.... your one of those," Chrysalis groaned. She hated ponies and their 'always trying to be friends with things.' If he starts singing about friendship, she was going to break someone's leg. meanwhile with the griffins.

"Now before you point out the earth/unicorn/pegasus thing, hear me out. what if I try making a variation of the game, you know as a way to promote both buckball and the new game. Got any suggestions?"

"Have you try adding skates for offensive players?" Pinkie suggested.

"why would we do that?" Giselle said.

"For fun," Pinkie said.

"... We'll put that on the maybe list," Giselle stated.

"Cool!"

+

"I can't believe Rosedust was okay with you breeding buckball players," Applejack said.

"Well she was... annoyed with it to say the least, but she said at least its better then me always planning on conquering things 'when will you stop this conquering phase'. It's not a phase dangit!" Chrysalis snapped.

"... okay that's a bit too much information for my liking," Applejack said.

"Whatever," Chysalis said with a role of her eyes. "I'm going to kick your cousin's butt omto next week."

"Doubt it, he nearly defeated our Ponyville team, and we ain't pushovers."

Chrysalis took a look to Pinkie suggesting random idea for the spin-off. Fluttershy feeding a desert lizard and Snail muttering something about showing some pony name Snip his first place medal. "I'm quivering in fear," Chrysalis said deadpanned.

Session 33.14 Kendell2 (with a brief addition by me)

"So...everything's genetic?" Rainbow Dash asked Chrysalis.

"Of course! How else would we get three super buck ball players?" Chrysalis asked.

"Well then you shouldn't be bragging," the rainbow maned pegasus replied.

"What?" the Changeling Queen asked, raising an eyebrow.

Rainbow Dash simply pointed a hoof to Chrysalis' heirs. One of which seemed to just be staring blankly at the going on while drooling, another tubby one which had tackled the pony passing out snacks and stole his tray of snacks (looking like they considered the tray to be a snack), and the last of which was presently taking aim at her mother's head with a crossbow.

Chrysalis' eye twitched. "..." She didn't even change expression as she caught the bolt and threw it back, hitting her daughter with the tail in the head and getting a small 'OW!'

Then Chrysalis looked at Rainbow Dash in the eye as the queen petted the head of her disabled daughter. "Don't ever insult my little princess again, or else."

"Or else what?"

"... Or else you'll learn how wrathful I can actually be."

"I dislike to say it Rainbow Dash... but you saying that was pretty mean." Fluttershy admitted offering the disabled changeling princess a cookie.

Rainbow Dash sighed.

"Uh, Rainbow Dash?"

"Yeah, Snails?" Rainbow asked.

"This Changeling is freaking me out," the little colt replied, a Changeling next to him that was completely zoned out to the point of being completely unresponsive.

"What happened?" Applejack asked.

"I think he tried to get in my head and this happened..." Snails said. "I think he got lost..."

"...Okay, so apparently Snails can clear his mind so well that he can make brainwashing backfire," Rainbow Dash said, blinking. "...Who knew?"

Session 33.15 Alex Warlorn

As the Doctor and Derpy played 3-D chess, Derpy couldn't help but ask, "So how did you get that black eye?"

"An honest mistake really."

"You went on an adventure without me?"

"It's not like we're joined at the hip, dear."

Derpy's eyes narrowed. "Did you go on an adventure with Roseluck?" Derpy asked with venom in her voice.

"No! I promise! ... I forgot myself for a minute. After you constant... encouragement that I should socialize locally more..."

"You are already! With me Octavia, Vinyl, Bon Bon, Lyra."

"I thought I'd expand the circle a little, go outside my comfort zone... so II was at dear Applejack's farm and she was talking about the long history of Apple Family traditions.... all of them... and this also happens to be one of the six days of the week that a monster doesn't randomly wander into Ponyville and our 'retired secret agent' ... "

"So what do you do to starve off the self harm?"

"Next thing I knew, I knew how an apple tree feels."

Meanwhile in the human world

Sunset Shimmer let out a grateful sigh of relief, finding out (and some careful observation with a remote control drone sent through the portal) that Twilight and her friends had been cured and were back to their normal selves and were no longer evil.

'Sunset... I... I know what it's like to be in your horseshoes.' Twilight wrote. 'Knowing you're the smartest, and that that entitles you to everything. Not caring who you have to step on to 'get what you deserve. It's a dark place isn't it? Thinking that 'you' is all you need. .. That attitude may sound brave and standing on your own four hooves... but it leads to some ugly places.'

Sunset merely hugged the journal. At least Gilda's 'boyfriend' could go home now. And she didn't have to try to break into Equestria to save the world from a Twilight Sparkle having gone mad with power... again.

She did wonder what Luna had said... if the mane six's friendship hadn't been undone by the curse... they'd have been unstoppable.. that was creepy.

*meanwhile in the mirror universe*

"I trust you're all back to normal?" Spike groaned.

"Yes we're back to normal handbag!" Fluttershy snapped.

"We've got the Elements of Chaos working again." Twilight Sparkle said with a scary grin. "Whose a 'zero' now mom?! Ha ha!"

Session 33.16 Ardashir

"Also, if they sign on to become hive servants, when we feed on them they can choose who we become to drain their love," Chrysalis said.

"Y'all do what now?" Applejack blinked.

Chrysalis grinned and pointed first at one Changeling and then at one mindlessly staring zebra. The changeling cackled and flew over to him, vanished in green flame, and reappeared as Rarity. Applejack gagged as 'Rariling' kissed the zebra, draining enough of his love to make the shriveled equine pass out.

"Oh, he'll be fine later," Chrysalis smirked.

"Ah'll be fine as soon as Ah throw up." Applejack looked around for a bucket.

Session 33.17 Mtanglion

Meanwhile, at a video arcade in the human world city of Griffonstone, Gilda and Gerold were in the nook behind the Dance Battle Insurrection machine, kissing.

Gilda came up for air first. "Dang... Jeez..." She smirked and traced a finger along his jaw. "So much for not gettin' serious."

Gerold had that insufferably smug grin that she loved. "Your phone is buzzing."

Gilda glanced at the cell phone briefly. "Eh, it's just a text from good old 'buzzkill' Twilight. I'll read it later."

Gerold chuckled. "Want to get out of here, or... play a few more rounds?"

Gilda flicked his nose with a fingertip. "Don't you get all wink wink nudge nudge on me, dweeb! You're cooped up in my apartment too much as it is. I'll get us some more tokens."

Gilda slipped back into the evening arcade crowd, making her way towards the token dispensers, and while she was digging for her wallet, because it's not like she would be caught dead carrying a purse, she nearly bumped right into... Gerold? Gerold, wearing a completely different outfit with a Griffonstone letter jacket, with Giselle by his side, glaring at her. Gilda gulped.

"There you are!" shouted Gerold. "Look, Gilda! Whatever kinda prank you're playing, these lame rumors need to stop right now. Now tell Giselle that we are *not* dating before I get in any more... trouble?"

The other Gerold, Gilda's Gerold, the Equestrian griffon who'd been stuck as a human for months, had heard her shout and rushed to her defense, and now both Gerolds were glaring, sizing each other up.

Gilda rolled her eyes. "Jeez..."

Giselle frowned, hands on hips. "Gerold? Whoa, I didn't know you had a twin."

"Neither did I!" said the human Gerold. He blinked. "But there, you see? I have *not* been going out with Gilda behind your back! Heh, I could probably beat this lame carbon copy at any game in here."

The griffon Gerold bristled. Luckily, he'd restrained himself from "griffoning up" and bristling literally. "Oh, is that a fact?"

Giselle slipped over to Gilda's side, covering a giggle with a slim hand. "Boys. What is it with them?"

Gilda couldn't help but laugh. "Oh, like girls around here are any better. Hey, uh... 'Karl'! Why don't I get you those tokens so you can show Gerold who's boss?"

Gilda's phone had five more texts from Twilight by the end of the night, but she was having too fun much to care.

Session 33.18 BrutalityInc

The door slammed open, and Queen Chrysalis stormed through it, her face snarling in rage and... Apprehension? "Gah!"

"What's wrong, my dear?" Empress Blackrose asked kindly, turning from her game of dominoes with several of her daughters. For their part, the other Changeling Queens glared at Chrysalis. "Did something awful happened?"

"The worst." Queen Chrysalis hissed, closing the door - and the unfortunate Changeling praetorian guard who was standing behind it fell on the floor with a thump, knocked unconscious. "I was at Appleloosa, playing that stupid Buckball game with those damn pony yokels over there. I held all the cards - selectively-bred players, my infallible magic behind the scenes, and I even bribed the referee!"

She ripped off her team shirt with a violent bout of telekinesis and threw it on the floor. "AND I STILL LOST! Can you imagine that?!"

"Why yes, dear sister, we can imagine that." The other Changeling Queens snickered, barely holding their mirth. The schadenfreude is simply too exquisite.

Empress Blackrose wiggled a hoof at Chrysalis' siblings, then turned to comfort the still seething Chrysalis. "There, there, my dear, it's just a game..."

"Just a game... Bah!" Chrysalis scoffed, even as she took a seat and grabbed a bottle of Changeling saki (Hive Supia brand) to drink. "It was more than just some silly game! It was part of my stratagem, and a chance to humiliate those do-gooder ponies at their own game! I nearly won too!"

"Then what happened?" Empress Blackrose asked. At Chrysalis' hesitance, she added "Don't be shy about it, just tell me everything..."

"Yes, sister, tell us more of your humiliation." Another one of her sisters asked, gloating. More snickering.

Queen Chrysalis glared at them. Normally, revealing fallibility in the Changeling royal society is considered a sign of weakness, an opening which other Queens would exploit to bring you down, but Chrysalis is simply too mad to care by this point.

"I was winning 5-2! One more point, and my victory would be completed!" Queen Chrysalis continued, "Of course, from the premium seats, I naturally gave my condolences and admiration of the other team's efforts." Which meant she gloated and mocked them to rub salt on the wound. "The crowd was showering my team with wild cheers." She remembered fondly of the utter shock felt by the ponies in the crowd and the angry stares by that Applejack.

"And then..." Chrysalis said hesitantly, still unable to understand what happened, "Right after a..." Cruel, condescending "Friendly laugh," At his expense, "He just gave this... look, this angry look at me... He yelled a few things to his goons behind him. The team rallied, and next thing you know, the Appleloosan team made a complete turnaround and trounced us, 5-6, in less than ten minutes flat!"

The other queens burst into laughter at the table, much to the consternation of both Blackrose and Chrysalis.

"Lose a winning streak in ten minutes flat? That's got to be a new record since Canterlot!" One of them muttered, brushing a mirthful tear aside.

"Easy for you to say! They bucking cheated!" Queen Chrysalis retorted with a shout of indignation. "Not that any of those stupid little ponies listened when I complained!"

"And why do you think they would do that?" Empress Blackrose asked, confused, "From what I know of the Apple clan, any form of cheating or dishonesty is more or less anathema to them."

"Then what else could explain my sudden loss, mother? It was that yellow-hided sack of bravado, Braeburn. I don’t know what he did, but right after he gave that look, all my changelings in Appleloosa abandoned their team, abandoned ME!" Queen Chrysalis said, utterly incredulous, "And my team just lost their nerve and couldn’t even score a decent shot, or block one! It’s like he casted a hex that caused all of them to freak out!"

Empress Blackrose’s eyes widened when she heard this.

"And did you freaked out too?" One of Chrysalis’ Queen sisters asked again, grinning. "Is the mighty Queen Chrysalis, near-conqueror of Equestria, scared of a little earth-pony with a little scowl?"

"I am not!" Chrysalis exclaimed, "I fear nothing, you – !"

"My dears," Blackrose said suddenly, "I would like all present in this chamber except Chrysalis to leave. And stay at least a corridor away until I say otherwise."

"Mother, what’s wrong?" One of the Queens asked, confused.

"Please do as I ask," The Changeling Empress ordered calmly. "I would rather not repeat myself."

None of them dared to disobey their mother. Soon, they left, followed by the praetorian guards.

At last, when Empress Blackrose and her daughter Queen Chrysalis was alone, Blackrose turned to Chrysalis and asked, "My dear... can you share your memories of that game. Here, with me. I want to see it for myself."

"Mother, I..." Queen Chrysalis began, reluctant. The outrage and wound in her pride from her defeat was still too fresh. That, and a lot of antics that she want to hide from Blackrose. "I don’t know if I should. It’s still just recent, and -"

"If you could, maybe I can find out who or what it was that may had costed you your game," Blackrose explained.

Chrysalis, eager for somepony to blame for her failure, agreed without hesitation. And so, one magical screen casting later, they watched together, as mother and daughter would a tape recording of holiday memories on television.

Both teams played with consummate skills as they bucked, threw and deflected the ball, each aiming to score as much as they could. Braeburn’s team more so, considering that they didn’t have the advantage of biological enhancement Chrysalis’ team had.

But in the end, skills and determination could only do so much. They lost points, and kept losing them, and Braeburn's team found themselves exhausted, demoralized and desperate, much worse off than when they played against Ponyville’s team.

They reached the point when Braeburn’s team was about to turn around and start winning. Empress Blackrose found herself shaking her head at Chrysalis’ cruel taunts. So typical of her.

But she found Braeburn’s response as described by Chrysalis an understatement to what it truly was, considering it was one that conveyed... such absolute hatred, for Chrysalis’ being, it was palpable through her empathetic senses. Blackrose wondered if Chrysalis had somehow pushed him too far with that mocking laugh. What awful, suppressed memory had been raised to the surface, driving Braeburn to such berserk fury?

Suddenly, Braeburn’s hateful snarl twisted further as he winced, shaking his head, nearly losing balance and stumbling, as if in pain.

Then, Blackrose felt it, as Chrysalis and the other changelings did. Only changelings could; ponies, griffons, dragons and other races all lacked the senses for it, let alone explain it, or even conceive it.

Menace, dread, terror; one could subscribe to these terms when describing how the Changelings would had felt, but those were just words; none of it would had done justice to the true horror of what they perceive.

It lasted merely a moment, radiating from Braeburn, as if a flash of lightning. But it was more than enough.

Ponies looked around them, surprised and spooked, as Chrysalis’ minions amongst the crowd started screaming hysterically, clawing at their eyes or heads, before taking flight and fleeing in all directions, most of them straight into the deserts. Chrysalis’ players in the field, so smug, confident and arrogant mere moments before, found their haughtiness broken instantly, replaced with fear; the one holding the score bucket nearly dropped it, the others took steps back, staring back at Braeburn, as if he was some ancient, otherworldly horror.

Even Chrysalis herself was affected, never would she admit; Blackrose felt the rapid pulse of Chrysalis’ racing insectoid heart, the chill through her carapace, the dread and apprehension gnawing in the depths of her mind, and a primal part of Chrysalis’ sub-consciousness screeching for her to run, even as she remained in her seat and shouted at her changelings to get a hold of themselves.

Empress Blackrose’s eyes narrowed; she recognized that scent. She knew it only too well.

Only those who had been ‘touched’ by Him, or those Others who carried His mark and blood, would carry his scent.

Blackrose suddenly realized she had to keep this quiet. If Chrysalis or any of her daughter got into this...

So for Chrysalis, Blackrose did the one thing that many condemned the changelings to be masters of.

"He has hidden it well, Chryssie. He almost had me fooled, too." Blackrose began cautiously, digging upon her vast millennia worth of experience to make her explanation as convincing as possible, "But judging from the scent, I would say that this bears the mark of the serpent."

Queen Chrysalis gaped in shock, "You mean... Discord?!"

Empress Blackrose nodded her head, "Before you ask, no, he was not wearing mister Braeburn as his guise. Braeburn was his pawn. I believed that through him, he had imparted just enough of his essence, and a spell that would release it at the right moment, so that when changelings present felt it, they would lose their nerve, thinking that the Curser is in the vicinity, and with it, their ability to win the game of Buckball."

"But why would he sabotage me like that? Humiliate me in a game?" Queen Chrysalis asked aloud. Then she face-hoofed, "Oh who am I kidding. Of COURSE he would! It’s practically in his nature!"

"Did you do something that would cause him to do that to you?" Empress Blackrose asked, just so to make sure Queen Chrysalis bought it, hook, line and sinker.

"It must had been for that ‘Butterflies on Ice’ performance I forced him to sit through with that meek yellow pegasus he calls friend!" That she did so in revenge for Discord’s own prank was left unsaid, "I swear, when I get my hooves on him, my next revenge for this humiliation would be much worse!"

With that, she angrily stormed out of the chamber, slamming the door on the way out, leaving Empress Blackrose alone to ponder the implications of what really happened, and the real culprit behind it.

So, He was in Appleloosa. Empress Blackrose thought with a grimace. But why was he there? What game was He up to, this time? And what did he do to one of the Apple clan... Or rather, what did he do to elicit His attention?

Whatever it was, Blackrose thought, one could only hope it was not painful. He never cared much about mortals, even from his own branch, or for the other immortals and gods. Tartarus, Blackrose didn’t think he cares much for anything beyond his own inscrutable motives these days, and those whom he found himself amused or impressed by.

In any case, she needed to get to the bottom of this.

But first...

= = =

Discord was having a nice relaxing cup of tea – well, the cup, not the tea itself – in Fluttershy’s house (She was in the kitchen) when a surprising telepathic call made him spit out all the ceramic on the floor, which reformed into a teacup.

Discord. Answer me.

"Hey! Rosey, mon petit chou-fleur..." He muttered nervously, looking around to make sure no-pony is eavesdropping, especially not that stupid rabbit. "Rather abrupt of you, calling me like that at this time. Scares moi somewhat, not just because of the homicidal surface thoughts you have for me that I could hear as well ..."

Chrysalis believes that you are responsible for making her lose the Buckball game in Appleloosa. Blackrose continued, through her long-range mind-voice. I want you to make sure she keeps thinking that.

"Oh yeah, I heard about that!" Discord said, in an happy tone, trying to ease tension, both him and Blackrose. "So it was sabotage that caused Chryssie’s team to lose in the last 10 minutes! I wish I could had thought about that. I should remember to thank whoever set her up – ACK!"

Discord cringed as a jolt of pure pain went through his body from his mind. It was enough to kill a full-grown dragon from circulatory shock, but for Discord, it was just a very painful headache.

"Take a joke, why don’t you! And why should I take the fall for something that for once isn’t my fault?"

If you don’t do as I ask. Blackrose warned, I’m coming for you.

Discord gulped in fear.

"Fair enough, I’ll do it. Won’t be the first, though I always hope it’ll be the last." Discord replied "You better tell me the reason why, once Chryssie’s inevitable petty revenge comes into play."

Blackrose didn’t deign to give him a response on that, Don’t tell anyone about this. She finally replied, And remember, always, that I will be watching. So behave.

Fluttershy came out of the kitchen to find Discord coiled upon himself, still shuddering long after the call was done.

"Geeze, what a mare..." Discord muttered, "Just what’s the bur under her saddle this time?"

= = =

"Hooey, that was a tough match. Much tougher than the one with us Ponyville." Applejack remarked, "But you sure showed Chrysalis and her team of bronco-upped cheaters how true Buckball is done in the end! That was quite a comeback you and your team pulled!"

"Thanks, cousin." Braeburn replied, "Guess we fellas managed to get into our A-game near the end. Still wondering what I did to scare’em changelings off like that."

"Well, you got yourself really worked up in the last ten minutes." Applejack commented, "That Queen Chrysalis was insulting you something fierce with every other breath. I swear, you looked like you were ready to murder her right there and then!"

"Yeah, she really is one nasty piece of work." Braeburn concurred, still smarting from her taunts, gloats and insults, "I think that was the whole point, trying to knock us off-balance like we did theirs in the end. From the way she was laughing at me and my fellows I didn’t think I ever got that angry since... since..."

Braeburn heard Him laugh – a cruel, amused laughter from an ancient, regal voice – even as he laid bound and helpless before Him ...

Pain shot through his head, and he grunted.

"Cousin, you don’t look so good." Applejack noted.

"It-It’s just a headache." He said, shaking his head, "Been getting them lately. Had one just before the win, too. Must had been from the pressure, between work and the Buckball games."

"In that case, I think you need to take some time to relax." Applejack recommended, and, seeing a bunch of Appleloosan colts and fillies barbecuing marshmallows, suggested, "Maybe you ought to meet Strongheart out there and had a night out with her, camping, singing under the stars with music from your guitar, all before a fire, you know what I’m saying?"

"I think I know where you’re..." He trailed off as he saw the fire from the barbecue.

He saw two pillars of flame, burning away the darkness of the night. One green of a darker hue, the other blue and far brighter in brilliance.

And in their wake. He beheld two horrors. Tall, dark, majestic and terrible, one more than the other...

Braeburn gritted his teeth as a sharper pain gripped his brain. He lost his footing, and crashed into a bundle of hay, toppling it and himself over it.

"Braeburn! Are you alright?!" Applejack hurried to Braeburn’s side, helping him up. "It’s getting worse, isn’t it?"

Shaking his head, he found himself staring into his cousin’s worried green eyes...

His green eyes – like staring into a bottomless abyss...

With a yelp, he untangled himself from the bundle and backed off from Applejack. He was panting now, sweating profusely, and his head was pounding. He looked at Applejack, fright evident upon his face.

"What just happened? What did I do?!" Applejack exclaimed, "Braeburn, you’re really scaring me!"

Braeburn sat on his haunches as he tried to steady himself, "I don’t know." He said between ragged breaths, in full crux of a panic attack, "I just – for a moment, I thought I saw... I don’t know what’s wrong with - !"

He stopped as something reasserted itself, in the back of his mind.

"... Nothing’s wrong." He said suddenly, "I’m feeling better now..." His face softened as he calmed down, and his eyes became somewhat unfocused. "It’s all fine now." He said evenly, his face twisting into a disconcerting smile. "Yes. Everything is going to be just fine." He repeated, now with a dreamy expression.

He stayed that way for a few moments.

"Anyways!" He began, in his normal voice. Almost as quickly, he was seemingly back to his normal self, as if nothing had happened, "I’ll have a think about that, cous. But that’ll have to wait; next match is with the griffons, and I’m going to need to get my team back to top shape, for Aaaappleloosa! See you later!"

With that, he galloped off, leaving a wide-eyed and gaping Applejack behind.

"Hey, AJ!" Pinkie Pie broke in, bouncing besides Applejack, "You feeling alright?"

AJ closed her gaping mouth. Then, she narrowed her eyes and shook her head.

"No, Pinkie. I’m not feeling alright." AJ said, "Nothing about this feels right. And I’m going to get to the bottom of this."

Session 33.19 Alex Warlorn

Blackrose knew love was a very powerful force, as a changeling, it was her very nature to understand how powerful love was... even if poor Chrysalis only understood it the way a leech did blood. Even she knew all flavors and tones and their sublimities, she had a great deal of experience, much like her mother.

Thus, she was genuinely shocked and stunned when Discord teleported into her chambers. This was tantamount to suicide some would think on Discord's part... except... the fury that radiated from Discord... it was underlined with the one thing Blackrose would have never expected from him... love for somepony else.

This shocked all her most basic and simply desires to deliver bloody and dismembering justice about this supposed reformed monster out of her system. Because... Discord wasn't smiling. And it wasn't his immature 'my game is RUINED!!!!' snarl she's seen on some precious few occasions. This was the rage for another as only a changeling queen could tell!

"I hope you're happy insect." Discord said, no humor in his voice, that was so wrong to hear. He displayed an indestructible piece of paper in front of her that would have driven most ponies mad.

"I just got a restraining order from the Ponythulu and Dra-Gon law firm. With a visit from Ponythulu and Dra-Gon themselves!"

Blackrose could say nothing, when she saw in Chrysalis' memories that she'd hired lawyers from the Spheres Beyonds, she assumed her daughter had been joking. She should have known better.

"I'm now forbidden to interfere with, to OR HELP THOSE who are interfering in her schemes, or have any of my schemes interfere with hers, nor meddle with those who are meddling with her schemes or those who are parts of her schemes or those who are interacting with those who are part of her schemes! I can't protect Fluttershy AT ALL from that witch now! We both know she's a time bomb waiting for the chance to destroy Equestria again! And now, insect for me being your stalking horse, I can't protect HER from your brat you should have put down ages ago! I! HOPE! YOU'RE! HAPPY!" Discord grew to the size of a Pony Grande looking down at Blackrose with wraith the likes of which can only exist in those who had known to care for somepony other than themselves.

-

There was a knock on Braeburn's door, having arranged the game time for the Griffinstone team for the Buckball match. The griffins felt they had their pride as a species on the line, unlike Chrysalis who had been showing off, the griffins wanted to be recognized as equals again on the world stage.

Braeburn looked up and up... at a giant green pony with tentacles for a face and large wings. Wearing a business suit and carrying a suitcase. He handed a card written in plain ordinary not-madness-inducing Equestrian (that had been a precise point with the advertising department).

"Hello Sir, are you Braeburn Apple? I am Ponythulu of Ponythulu and Dra-Gon. I believe good sir you are eligible for a damage suit by a Eldar or Above, Out or Grander Planes Entity or Entities. I would be happy to represent you in seeking compensation... Do you have any cookies?"

"Uh, yeah..."

"Good to hear. You'll find my rates very reasonable, we do NOT charge by souls, sanity points, or existential states, this sets up apart from those Infernal lawyers, we do accept baked goods however."

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 33.0 Zaku789
Session 33.1 Alex Warlorn
Session 33.2 sonicandmario826
Session 33.3 Alex Warlorn
Session 33.4 Ardashir
Session 33.5 sonicandmario826
Session 33.6 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 33.7 BrutalityInc
Session 33.8 Mtangalion
Session 33.9 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 33.10 Ardashir
Session 33.11 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 33.12 Alex Warlorn
Session 33.13 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 33.14 Kendell2 (with a brief addition by me)
Session 33.15 Alex Warlorn
Session 33.16 Ardashir
Session 33.17 Mtanglion
Session 33.18 BrutalityInc (A continuation-of-sorts of a plot point I started in Session 29.1. A word of caution: It might be a bit weird)
Session 33.19 Alex Warlorn

Cover image by KarmaDash http://karmadash.deviantart.com/art/Dungeons-and-Lovers-630230619

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Session 34

Session 34.0 Ardashir (with edits)

Chrysalis was the one the rest of the queens avoid at the family/hive reunions.

"Ugh, here comes little sis again to brag about how she beat Celestia."

"Let's turn into some of the griffon waitstaff and dodge her." She growled."Too late..."

"Hello potential threats to my rising to Queen of All Changeling, II beat Celestia at Go this week!"

Session 34.1 Grogar-the-oneser

"So you fools have arrive to my chambers," Luna said, she recognized the Shadowbolts from Twilight's reports, she was hiding in the shadows for dramatic effect. As she step into the light... she wasn't expecting a 'what-the-buck' look from them.

"Huh, the new Nightmare Moon reminds me of Cheeksqueeks," Lemon Zest said.

"From Yokai Watch?" Sugarcoat asked.

"Yeah, they have the same exact face," Lemon zest said.

Nightmare Moon blinked as she summoned a mirror, and Luna screamed at the sight of her face.

"WHO DID THIS!?!" Luna roared so loudly it cause the screens of the Shadowbolts computers to shake.

"Wow, you weren't kidding, they did went full out." Indigo zap whistled.

(Heres what cheeksqueek looks like http://yokaiwatch.wikia.com/wiki/File:Char-cheeksqueek_2x.png )

Session 34.2 Mtangalion

"Ninety-eight... ninety-nine..." Giselle the griffon finished her last wing-up and flopped, panting. "One hundred!" Somegriffon started slow-clapping. Giselle rolled over and saw Gilda perched nearby.

Gilda grinned like the griffon who caught the canary. "Still practicing for the next Griffonstone buckball tryouts, huh?" She waved a claw towards the boxes full of water balloons that she'd brought. "You wanna help me with these, or are you all tuckered out?"

Giselle grinned right back at her. "I'm down with a good prank." Their talons brushed as Gilda passed her one of the boxes.

Cupid sprang out from behind a bush. "Yes! The circle will be complete! Mwa-ha-ha!" Two water balloons smacked him right in the muzzle, soaking him.

"You again?" said Gilda, tossing another water balloon in her claw. "Go on, get outta here! Come back when it's Hearts and Paws Day. Actually, don't come back then either!"

Session 34.3 Mtangalion and Alex Warlorn

Cupid smiled. "Actually, when you're hit by my arrows, you'll work up the guts to decide you need to brush up on your cooking via the legendary griffin chef with the fake mustache."

Gilda gasped. "Who told you about my crush?! Er, I mean... no way would I have a chance with somegriff famous like Gustave, so why bother?"

Session 34.4 Grogar-the-oneser

AN: (Base on this scene from Gintama (With dialogue), you do https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HOAY0XdzzM )

"URRGH! Whatever, I'll fixed it after I take care of you," Nightmare Moon shouted as she summon the Shadowbolts, but again something weird happened, the Background Music changed to something different.

"Is that.... Rocky?" Sunny Flare questioned.

"It's more of a rocky-like theme," Indigo Zap stated.

"It's sounds similar, but it clearly different," Sugarcoat noted.

"Probably due to them avoiding having to pay those pesky copyright laws," Lemon Zest said.

"Why the heck it's playing a Rocky like theme!" Sour Sweet snapped. "It's a fantasy game!"

"I think its kinda fitting," Indigo Zap said. "We lost the first time we played against Nightmare Moon and Rocky lost in the first movie."

"He did!?" Lemon Zest shouted surprised.

"Oh right, you never saw those movies.... sorry about the spoiler," Indigo Zap stated.

Meanwhile Nightmare Moon's eye was twitching. wondering what in Tartarus was going to go wrong next.

She got her answer in the form of the Shadowbolts singing, "DROC ID!"

"WHY ARE YOU SINGING ALONG!?" Luna screamed. "AND WHY DO I GET THE FEELING YOU'RE NOT EVEN SINGING THE RIGHT LYRICS!? WHO IN TARTARUS IS DROC ID!?"

(IN the real world)

"I do so love these comedy anime references," Discord cackled as he typed on his computer at almost breakneck speed.

Session 34.5 BrutalityInc

(ATTENTION READERS: This is the highlight of a narrative arc that I begin in Session 29.1, and continued in Session 33.18, [PLEASE re-read them again if you want some basic context] although arguably it begun earlier, with my entries where expies of boardgames like Zathura, Jumanji and Shadow of Brimstone started mysteriously appearing all over the place, or when Kendell2 introduced Empress Blackrose in Session 21.1, which interested me to no end between her relationship with Chrysalis and Discord, and the opportunities for worldbuilding that I had since indulged in)

(This, effectively is culmination of all that, with many big reveals, written in a hurry since certain... things involving Session 33.18 made it such that I had to rush it)

(Special thanks to :iconkendell2: for inspiring me. Credit to :icongrogar-the-oneser: for a segment which I promised to add in.)

(This would either be very good, or very bad. Alex, please keep the disclaimers in-text this time. Without further ado, the reveal of what really happened to Braeburn in Session 33.18)

Appleloosan Deserts, A Few Weeks Ago

Most nights in the deserts may be quiet, but they are far from silent.

When the wind blows, its distinctive high-pitch wails and whistles, could be heard echoing in the valleys or rounding the bend of mesas, picking up with it other sounds – the rustling of desert tree leaves and rolling tumbleweeds, loose sand sent flying into the air, rocks and pebbles tumbling across the ragged ground.

Near an errant bush, one might hear the sound of nocturnal critters, whether it be rodents scurrying and foraging for food on the ground, or flights of bats in the air. Meanwhile the chirping of crickets could be heard for miles.

Add the occasional travelling carriage, galloping through the night, or the sounds of a passing train, all joint together into a cacophonous orchestra that would resound from dusk to dawn, adding a most unique music that would liven the otherwise complete dullness under the sunless sky.

And yet, in this stretch of desert tonight, after a hard rain, no such music was present. There was no wind, not even a breeze to send ripples across the fresh ponds of rainwater yet to evaporate. There was no critter in sight, singing their nightly songs. There were no roads nor tracks in the vicinity, where passengers in their vehicles would, or could, notice just how awfully quiet everything had become.

Everything was silent, as if something had driven nature away.

That is not to say that all was lifeless and still.

Someone was making his way up a great mesa that night, far out the desert, in the middle of nowhere. He looked like a unicorn, though in the darkness of the night, one would struggle to make out his silvery mane and tail, or the maroon colour coat he had beneath the light-tan suit and hat he wore.

His cutie-mark: a caterpillar, hanging from a branch, weaving a cocoon around itself.

At last, his trek reaches the end, and with a green flash of teleport to circumvent the sheer-cliffs, he reached the top.

Yet, he found that some-pony is already there, long before him.

Tonight was a new moon, and what little moonlight is filtered by what little clouds that remain after the rain. Even so, it was just enough for the new arrival to make out a tall black pegasus, standing alone, in the centre of the flat plane.

The air seems to faintly simmer around him, surrounding him like an aura, blurring the details. Only when the unicorn approached did more details come into view; he could make out the impeccable attire the pegasus wore, including the hat that the pegasus had taken off from his silver maned head and tucked under a wing.

He was staring heavens-ward, smiling faintly, his emerald pupils seemingly glowing in the darkness.

The unicorn came to a stop, standing just next to him, and looked upward, in the same direction as the black pegasus. He found the stars, in their resplendent glory, looking right back at him.

"The night sky is beautiful; don't you think?" The black pegasus asked, his smooth, refined baritone voice breaking the silence between them. His tone sound as if he expected the visitor's arrival.

"... Yes, it is." The unicorn replied simply.

"Tell me, what constellations do you see up there?" The black pegasus pressed.

"I can see the Hydra and the Hunter to the east." The unicorn answered, "And the Fair Maiden to the west. Canis Alpha and Beta should be observable this time of the year, but the night is still young."

"Very astute..." the black pegasus concluded, with a humph, "... and painfully straightforward. Have you no artistic opinion of it all?"

The unicorn replied, after some consideration. "... Personally, only that it would all look better under a full moon."

"So very typical of you, young ones." The black pegasus muttered, sounding unimpressed, "Only valuing quantity, but never quality where it truly lies. You see the Moon as the greatest jewel etched into the tapestry, ignoring the fact that its grandeur drowns out that of the other jewels of light, ultimately dimming the glory of an otherwise brilliant work. What beauty is the Moon, by itself, when only pitch-darkness accompany it?"

He gaze returned towards the sky, "It is good then, that the Moon is inconstant in its glow, allowing the other lights their chance to radiate their presence. The Moon, in a way, is like what we are, waxing and waning, constantly changing its mask. And yet the stars, always, stays the same, year after year, age after age."

The unicorn looked uncertain for a moment. Then, he began, cautiously, "If I may... not always."

The black pegasus looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

"It hasn't been since Princess Luna had return among the ponies." The unicorn added, "Since then, some stars had changed position, and new constellations had been added."

The black pegasus grinned, shook his head, "Perhaps... So too had it happened, more than a thousand years ago. Such artistic passion and quality, and yet... she received not a single shred of love for it, only scorn and apathy from her own subjects." He gave a mildly disdainful look for a moment, "Her loss to madness was such a loss to the world, and hardly any of them even cared until she returned. What Celestia saw in her little ponies, I believe none will ever know."

The unicorn blinked, as he recalled something. Then, he looked rather crestfallen.

The black pegasus noticed, "A troubled thought?"

"It is nothing." The unicorn insisted. At the pegasus' lingering look, he sighed, and elaborated, "I just wished my mother was here to see this. She, for one, always loved to see the stars."

"... That she did." The black pegasus said, matter-of-factly.

Both were silent for a few moments, admiring the stars.

Then, "Well, then. To the business at hoof."

The unicorn nodded, straightening himself.

"Of course, father."

For a brief instance, two pillars of flames burned away the darkness of the Appleloosan desert night, devouring the two ponies where they stood.

One was green, of a darker hue, casting shadows upon the rocks and plants where it flared. The other was blue, brilliant and bright, with such glow and power that night briefly turned to day across the mesa.

And when the flames faded...

= = =

Canterlot, Now

"And you turned him down?" Applejack asked, as they walked down the cobblestone streets of the Equestrian capital.

"Well, no, I didn't... Not really." Braeburn explained, rubbing the back of his head, "It's odd enough that... thing, told me he accepted baked goods for service, but asking for half a tonne of it so he could sue some horror from beyond just isn't going to happen for me. I'm not swimming in bits as it is, and I don't have time to bake all that."

"Well, can't blame you for that." Applejack said, "You know, cous, we actually met him once, back when Discord decides to open a portal to his home dimension or wherever it was during a game of Call of Ponythulhu. Imagine our surprise when he offered us tea and cookies instead of driving us mad and eating us. And to think, he's a lawyer!"

"Yeah... it was so darn surreal." Braeburn concurred, "He's so polite, yet still so horrifying."

-

"Now lets' get down to business. Have you experience blackouts, people fleeing from you, getting all weird images where you see some eldritch scenery or being, and having terrible heart burns?" Ponythulhu asked nicely.

"Err.... yes, to all but the last one." Braeburn said, confused.

"Ah, then we can rule out a possible fire elemental and go straight to the next culprit. It appears you been chosen, by random chance, to be the next host to a powerful eldritch being."

"... what?"

"I said - "

"I heard what you said but, how?!"

"Probably by a complete mess up with some idiotic cultists. Not to worry though, luckily there are rules for this sort of thing, although you may have to consider playing a game to get this being out of you. Standard procedure, sir, I assure you... unless you wish to serve as a pupa."

"Pupa?"

"Yes, that's the funny thing. Unlike a natural reincarnation, this one is more likely parasitic in nature, meaning that your body is a cocoon and your soul is a tasty caramel for the Eldritch being, until you're gone. Then it'll break out of this body like a nasty little moth."

"WHAT!?" Braeburn shouted, "I don't want that! Oh no, I got to tell AJ. Maybe she can use the Elements or something."

"That reminds me." Ponythulu pulled a strange stone, which zapped Braeburn.

"YOW!!"

"There, that should let you talk about these sort of things to any mortal. Now back to your lawsuit, sir."

"I don't feel any different." Braeburn said.

"... Really?" Ponythulhu asked incredulously, "So it isn't that? Let me have a closer look..."

-

"And right after he took a second, closer examination, he told me that whatever did something to me, even he can't say, only that it wasn't covered in his sphere of expertise, so he couldn't help."

"Figures. Still, at least we know where to start with helping you." Applejack noted. "No bucking monster here or beyond is allowed to curse or possess my cousin and get away with it!"

"Wouldn't it be simple to just blast me with 'em Rainbow Powers o' yours?" Braeburn queried.

"If only it was that simple." Applejack sighed, "As it is, both Pinkie and Fluttershy need rest from the Buckball match. Rarity is in Manehatten, methinks. Twilight and the other Princesses are in another friendship summit. Even Zecora's out, going back to Zebrica briefly for a family visit, she said. So we're on our own for at least a week or two."

Braeburn groaned. Just his luck, as Troubleshoes Clyde would say. "Can we ask that student of Princess Twilight for help? You know, Starlight Glimmer?"

"Apparently, those curses and eldritch horror stuff are not her specialties in her studies, and Starlight is busy managing the castle to help anyways. But thankfully, Starlight did referred me to some ponies who knows how to deal with these sort of things, real good ones, apparently."

They arrived at their destination; it looked like your average private clinic from superficial appearance, but that's where more to it. The sign was a horn overlaying a cross, and the the sign on the front read:

HEX-GONE HEALTHCARE

And under it:

Magical Affliction Professionals. For all your curse-removal, possession-exorcisms and magical-disorder remedy needs, accept no substitutes.

Braeburn looked to Applejack, who shrugged.

"Well, she said she THINKS they could help. It's not like there's any other option..."

= = =

The black pegasus went across the desert, and Braeburn Apples followed him.

Braeburn was convinced, since that night of poker with him and friends, that there was something suspicious about that pony, that he was up to something not good. There were just too many warning signs, things that it seems only he noticed.

Call it intrepidity, call it concern for his town and loved ones, but this was something he couldn't let go.

Tracking wasn't his strong suit, but he learnt a few things from Strongheart, and combined with sheer persistence, it carried him through. One way or another, he'll get to the bottom of this, and find the truth about him, and this errand of his.

Now, he wished he haven't found it. There, he discovered through his binoculars, was the awful truth.

When the flames faded, the ponies were gone. In their place, stood two Royal Changelings. Of course, who else but a Changeling could do all that he witnessed back in Appleloosa?

With cavity-ridden legs touching a mildly singed ground, the one who had been the unicorn stood as tall as Queen Chrysalis, and had fangs, wings and carapace like hers. That's where the similarities ended; he remained male, his mane and tail were cut shorter and smoothly, tidily groomed. His pupiled eyes are amber-orange in colour, a maroon coloration saturated both the chitin of his carapace body and his wings. He wore a humble-looking crown behind his crooked, gnarly horn, more in common with ones worn by baron, or a duke, than one worn by a monarch.

And the other royal changeling who had been the black pegasus... Braeburn wasn't sure if he was seeing a royal changeling, or something far grander and terrible, standing upon a shallow depression of soot, molten rock, and hot, broken silica glass in the wake of his transformation. Paradoxically, he was both impossibly beautiful, yet utterly hideous at the same time.

He stood taller than the other Royal Changeling by a head. His carapace is very dark, nightfall blue, with a charcoal tint, as if his body had been immolated, like Empress Blackrose. Jagged holes adorned his legs, while a pair of tattered, moth-like wings adorned his back. He did not have any regalia on him, like any normal royalty; instead, he wore what appeared to be a once regal-looking cuirass on him, charred, blackened, gashed by what seemed to be dragon claws, and seemingly fused into his carapace under extreme heat. And his crown, worn behind his serrated horn - a crown seemingly made of other royal changelings' horns, tied together by a ring of thorns, encrusted with crimson gems, all of it based upon what appeared to be a burnt, older and lesser crown, seemingly made to be obscured and unimportant beneath it all.

What set him apart more from the other royal changeling, Braeburn felt, was his presence... it felt like that of an Alicorn, like Princess Celestia, and it seemed to fill the entire mesa without trying. Yet whereas Princess Celestia's aura was warm, gentle and comforting, his was chilling, painfully cold, seemingly draining the area around him of colour and vibrancy, just by standing there. An aura of dread and revulsion surrounded him, like his very existence is an affront to reality, a monster in its truest form; only this time, unlike back in the saloon, he didn't even bother to hide it beneath a façade.

Braeburn found himself reviling and hating him, just from the mere sight of him. It was as if his presence triggered some part of his brain, making him seemed like a blasphemous thing before his eyes, digging up raw emotions of hostility.

If the other royal changeling was affected in such close proximity to him, he didn't show. He bowed deeply, as if in reverence, to the taller, likely elder royal changeling, who nodded in acknowledgement. The former looked serious and businesslike, focused and steadfast. In contrast, the latter royal changeling seemed aloof, belaying a demeanor of calm and calculation. He showed an absolute confidence, likely in his own power, like Braeburn has never seen in any pony, or any one being, as he regarded his son, and everything else around him, seemingly with utter indifference.

In the silence around them, Braeburn can just barely hear what they were saying to each other, even from his distance. Thus, Braeburn unwittingly became a silent witness to what should had been a secret meeting, beyond mortal eyes.

"So, Metamorphosis." The elder royal changeling began, "How goes that little errand I sent you to complete?"

"Your will is done, father." Metamorphosis reported, "We have isolated the mining settlement as you commanded, using a report of a monster hidden in the mines to force an evacuation of the populace and quarantine the area. The ponies are trusting of our disguised Royal Guards, and the settlement is remote, but for extra security, we cut off every line of communication from the rest of Equestria, and ensured not a single individual would be out of our sight in the temporary camp area we designated for them to stay for the duration."

The elder royal changeling smirked, and turned briefly to look towards the horizon, faintly visible far away in the darkness.

"And what of the sample I asked you to acquire from the depths of the mine?"

Two flashes of green magic, and Metamorphosis presented two dark stones before his father.

"I had my hive's mages and academicians examine it thoroughly." Metamorphosis reported, "The unique properties of the stone made initial analysis difficult at first. What we are certain so far, however, is that it is definitely not of this world. It is an intruder from... Elsewhere."

"Oh?" The elder royal changeling asked, seemingly curious, "How peculiar. What makes you come to that conclusion?"

Metamorphosis pressed on, but a paranoid part of his mind suspected that somehow, his father knew something he didn't, "In terms of composition, the stones are different from any substance of this world; nor does it physically, chemically or magically behave in any way resembling terrestrial substances. The energies it radiates comes matches no known frequencies or spectrum. They only react to the presence of each other. And when they do, this happens."

Metamorphosis held the two featureless stones close. Both emitted an auger of lifeless black light, but in close proximity, it seemed to increase. Even in Metamorphosis' iron-hard telekinetic grip, they started to vibrate ever so slightly.

"Resonance. Amplification. An existence that violates all known rules. An affront to nature as we know it." The elder changeling merely commented. Then, he added under his breath, "In a way, just like I am."

Metamorphosis pretended he didn't hear that.

"Have you taken the necessary precautions?" The elder asked. A rhetorical question.

"We did so as soon as it became apparent." Metamorphosis replied instantly, "We dismantled the silos, and separated all stones into smaller caches, all under layers of wards."

Satisfied, the elder changeling allowed himself one of his disconcerting smiles.

"There is no doubt about it." He said cryptically. "It matches what was written perfectly."

"It was written..." Metamorphosis muttered to himself as he putted two and two together, and realised something. "You knew?" Metamorphosis blurted out, shocked. Then, inwardly he cursed himself for forgetting formality.

His father seemed to be more amused his outburst then anything. "In a way, yes. Though, like all facts, it required verification, and you did your part efficiently in confirming it." He produced, in a flash of blue flames, a booklet, "As your reward, I shall share with you the source, one most peculiar. I do believe you would find the information in it most intriguing."

Nonchalantly, the elder royal changeling tossed the booklet to his son with a flick of telekinesis, and Metamorphosis caught it. He saw the cover, and found himself even more dumbfounded, though he didn't show it, hiding his emotions beneath a stoic mask.

"‘Shadow of Brimstone – a fast-paced, fully cooperative dungeon crawl for one to four players'?"

Metamorphosis browsed through it quickly, and he found his incredulity increased with every turn of the pages. He found within it description of the Dark Stone, its outer-worldly origins, and its unique, eldritch properties, matching exactly the mineral his changelings found in that mine. He read the story of the ruination of the town of Brimstone because of it, when they exploded upon accumulation to a critical threshold, unleashing dark energies that opened rifts to other worlds, from which unholy, unnatural monsters poured through to terrorize the world, leaving only brave, intrepid adventurers and heroes to stem the tide and save the world.

"How can this be? How could the premise and backstory of a... table-top game, of all things, captured the situation we're facing so completely?"

"It would had been a most interesting coincidence... had it been merely written by some ordinary mortal." The elder royal changeling speculated, "As it stands, it is not the product of any game company in Equestria, nor those from any other realms upon this world."

Metamorphosis grasped the implications quickly, "It came from elsewhere, too. Either the Dark Stone followed it, or it came afterwards. And... it wasn't some cosmic accident."

"Correct. There is a pattern here." His father casually confirmed. "In recent months, some outside agent had been introducing these little distractions into our reality. These ‘games' of mysterious origins had manifested, all across Equestria, each of them unique, beckoning the curious and reckless to play. With the current ‘craze' for games these ponies are indulging in, hardly any would suspect a thing."

He gave a tittered laugh, "It is almost as if this intruder wishes to see how these little ponies would react to the premise and challenge they present. Well, it seems either that it has decide to step things up, manifesting fiction into reality, or it has somehow drawn it here, from some alternate world where it is real."

"If I may, father." Metamorphosis asked, as a possibility came to him, "Could it possibly be...?"

"No. It is not HIM." The elder changeling answered evenly. Even so, for a brief moment, Metamorphosis could swear he sensed enough rage and hatred to shatter mountains and boil seas if ever unleashed, coming from his father. "Though it certainly fits the character of the chaos serpent to do such thing. Rather unfortunate, really, that it is not the case."

With a flash of green arcane flames, Metamorphosis stored the booklet away. "I shall have my agents scour the land to remove as many of these as possible. That booklet... it is just one manual. If so, that game itself must be somewhere else."

"All in good time." The elder royal changeling concurred, "But our current priority is ensuring the disaster as described in it does not come to pass."

"Father, should the other immortals and divines be notified in secret?" Metamorphosis queried. After all, this might threaten the entire world.

"Sensible. Although they would notice it themselves, eventually. Just not quick enough to prevent the Dark Stones from unleashing its horrors." The elder changeling grinned, "How fortunate that I happened to notice it, first."

Metamorphosis saw his father's expression, and realized that he has other ideas, "I see... does father wish us to solve this crisis ourselves, so to have them in your debt, as well as monopolizing all and any important knowledge to further advance our interests?" Metamorphosis asked.

"Think what you will. I have my own plans..." The elder royal changeling said simply, "... and it shall all become apparent, come tomorrow or a thousand years more. Ready your forces; have your changelings contain whatever emerges from the mines, while we ourselves shall enter into its depths and end the threat at its source."

Metamorphosis bowed his head once more. "It shall be done."

= = =

"Mr Braeburn Apples? The mages would like to see you now."

The two Apples looked up at the orderly waiting for him. The waiting room is large, with many seats, suggesting a large establishment used to receiving many customers. Although, strangely enough, they seemed to be the only ones here, at the current moment.

"Well, let's get this done and over with." Braeburn muttered, standing up. Applejack tried to follow, but the orderly stopped her.

"Sorry, madam. The rituals involved in diagnosis and remedy are delicate and easily disturbed. Only the patients and authorized staff is allowed in the chambers." The orderly explained.

Applejack narrowed her eyes, but accepted the explanation.

Well, he is a grown stallion. He should be more than able to take care of himself, she thought to herself as they left.

After being instructed to put on a patient's gown, Braeburn found himself in one of the ritual rooms, and four ponies waiting for him.

"Good afternoon, mister Braeburn Apples!" The tallest among them, a unicorn mare wearing what seemed to be a cross between a mage's robe and a doctor's coat, spoke, whilst reading from a report "So, I read that you have a possible case of possession and/or hexing by some unknown eldritch entity?"

"Why, yes..." Braeburn said, whilst watching the others prepare the chamber for the procedure.

"Just making sure we're getting the information correctly. Now, please sit here." She motioned to the reclining chair in the centre of a hexagram of lines, runes and wards, all in a script he doesn't recognize, "We'll find out the source of your problem, and maybe have it out of your system in no time!"

"Well, I know I'm in good hooves with you pretty ladies, that's for certain..." Braeburn said with a grin. The other three mares seemed to brighten just from his words, whilst the one he's speaking giggled.

"Oh, you're making us blush!" She teased. Then, she added, "Truth be told, we aren't the ones who normally run these procedures, but many of the staff had taken holidays during this week, so we're filling it in for them."

"Really...?" Braeburn mused. Somewhere in the back of his mind, a nagging worry is making itself known.

"Don't you worry, we're all professionals, here. Now, for this ritual, we'll going to have to sedate you. Just relax, and let the anaesthetic spells do their work."

"Alright, then... Wait." Braeburn said suddenly, "I can't say I know much about ‘em sorceries, but what sort of unicorn spell requires me to be ..."

Before he could finish, there was a flash of green magic, and he was out like a light.

"Is he out?" The one he had been speaking to inquired, in a suddenly urgent voice.

"Yes, your highness." One of the other mares responded.

"Good."

In flashes of green flames, the changeling queen and her three loyal minions dropped their guises. She has purple wings, mane and tail, and a prominently larger skull with distinctive ridges running from her gnarled horn.

"Be quick, my mind-witches." The changeling queen ordered, "Let us finish the mind-worm ritual before any-pony notice us. But remember, the Empress wants him to come out of this alive, and unharmed. If you fail, she might be merciful, but I certainly won't!"

"As you wish, so it shall be." The three chorused. Then, they set to work, applying their magic, while their queen supervised.

For most part, they succeeded.

= = =

Far away, Braeburn didn't hear all of it, but he had seen enough to come to a decision.

‘I've got to warn the others!' He thought.

He tucked away his binoculars, and moved to get down and away from the mesa, as fast as he could, before either of them notice his presence.

He never got the chance. When he turned, he found himself nearly running into a row of spears, and staring into the maroon compound eyes of those who wielded it.

Metamorphosis' horn glowed, and his expression turned to a frown when he received a telepathic report from his changeling warriors.

"It seems we have a guest." His father said suddenly, his smile widening.

Metamorphosis' eyes widen. How does he always know?

"Yes... the guards have caught an intruder in the perimeter." Metamorphosis reported, "I shall have him identified, and then dealt with."

"Actually... let's invite him to our little meeting, shall we?" The elder royal changeling said, "As it happens, I do believe we're acquainted. I know for one he had been following me from Appleloosa."

Metamorphosis frowned, but did as he was told, ordering his guards to bring him in.

Braeburn found himself tied up in arcane chains, and thrown before the two royal changelings. They stood over him, the younger one, Metamorphosis regarded him with deadly seriousness, while his father, the elder, seems merely amused.

"Well, well... we meet again, Braeburn Apples. Did I not warned you that this is a matter that is best not pried?" The elder royal changeling said, "You're too curious for your own good, little stallion."

"I knew there was something wrong with you!" Braeburn yelled, struggling in his bonds, "But I should had figured it out right from the start, after all the stunts you pulled!" He looked around him, seeing the royal changelings before him, and their minions surrounding him, fangs and weapons bared, "Changelings... you're all changelings, aren't you?!"

"Well, isn't he a master of the obvious?" The elder royal changeling remarked snidely.

"Who are you, pony?" Metarmophosis demanded, glaring down at the spy in the midst, "What are you doing here? Who sent you? How do you know of this meeting?"

"I just followed the one who you called father here!" Braeburn spat back at him, "I could ask the same about you lot!"

"We're the ones asking the questions here." Metamorphosis groused, "Answer us, and no harm will come to you. How much have you overheard?"

"... A little bit of everything." Braeburn admitted.

"Typical of one from the Apple clan." The elder changeling commented, "Even in his direst moments, he couldn't find it in him to bluff, even to save his life."

"Mostly because I'll be very bad at it." Braeburn retorted sarcastically, ignoring the murderous looks from the changeling soldiers for his impudent tone.

Braeburn took measure of the one he had been stalking, "And what in Tartarus are you supposed to be? You're not a queen, ..." At this, the other changelings became tense, as if mentioning a changeling queen triggered some primal response, "Like that Chrysalis who attacked Canterlot. Are you some sort changeling king or something?"

"King?" The elder royal changeling repeated. He grinned, and shook his head, "No, I'm not. My son," he gestured to Metamorphosis, "Is a king, of his own hive. As are his brothers." Metarmophosis seemed to scowl slightly at the mention of his siblings, "But a king is simply too small a title to address someone like me."

In a glow of blue magic, Braeburn found himself bodily lifted up and forced to look, face to face, with the royal changeling who had him at his mercy. Looking into his intense eyes – green pupils within sapphire where his whites should be – was like looking into a bottomless abyss. Braeburn found himself trying with all his efforts to avert his gaze, lest his mind becomes swallowed by it.

"For the record, little pony." The elder royal changeling continued. His smile is now become a slasher's rictus, baring his sharp fangs and teeth. "All my sons, and their subjects, call me EMPEROR."

Braeburn found himself gaping in utter shock.

= = =

Later, Empress Blackrose received the telepathic communique that she had been expecting.

Mother, it is done. The mind-voice intoned.

Thank you, my dear daughter. Blackrose replied. Has it been difficult?

Indeed. The safeguards to ensure no intrusion are of a level I didn't believe was possible, even knowing from mother that it is His work... the changeling queen paused, then, I don't think even with the Hive Chiron's mastery of mind manipulation, we would had been able to read its contents. But perhaps, dear mother you could; we had successfully extracted it, in fragments as you instructed.

Again, thank you. Blackrose replied, please be sure to reward your subjects.

I aim only to please.

Empress Blackrose's horn glowed, and she summoned a glowing sphere of writhing, ethereal magic, containing a copy of the memories that had been suppressed in the depths of Braeburn Apples' mind.

Carefully, with skill and experience only a physical deity could possess, she slowly undid the wards and spells that had them all under lock and key, while mending the pieces back together into a readable whole. When she was ready, she played the memory like a video, from start to finish.

And Empress Blackrose saw everything.

= = =

Unceremoniously dropping the earth-pony, the Changeling Emperor turned to the other royal changeling, "So, Metamorphosis. What should we do with our little interloper?"

The changeling king looked at his senior, then at Braeburn. After scrutinizing his every detail, and thinking hard, he said, "Knowing that he had been following you for days, his community must had noticed his absence; and given his resistance, altering his memory is also out of the question. We could, however, force a suppression." He explained, letting the intricacies that separated memory alteration and memory suppression go unsaid, "And put him back where he lived. The same applies for those who he interacts with on a daily basis, which should be few enough to be practical, to ensure that few ponies notice he had been missing during this time."

"Oh? Would it not be simpler to just eliminate him, as your brothers would had done?" The Changeling Emperor asked, both curious, and subtly testing him.

King Metamorphosis resisted the urge to seethe. He did not like being compared to his brothers. All he ever received from them: Ridicule and hatred, for being unwilling to indulge in conquest and oppression, seeing his preference for learning and ruling fairly as weakness. Scorn and envy, for seemingly always being in the favour of their father despite his weakness.

They would had eliminated Braeburn, devoured his emotions like cattle and cast his emptied shell into a ravine, not because of any good reasons, but just because they could. But Metamorphosis is nothing like his short-sighted, arrogant, squabbling and ambitious brothers, and he never will be.

"Normally, it would be the safer option... But he's a member of the Apple clan." Metarmophosis explained, "Given how closely-knitted they are, he would be greatly missed. His unusual disappearance and demise would attract the attention of the Wielder of Honesty, who is a member of this clan, and from what we know, close to her cousin. She would investigate, which in turn could attract the attention of the other Wielders of Harmony, such as Princess Twilight, one of the four Princesses of Equestria. Thus, we could potentially expose ourselves not just to the Elements of Harmony, but all levels of Equestrian society."

"A very... prudent analysis." The Changeling Emperor said. Though, he sounds as if he heard some other motive beneath, "And, what, if I insist, that we cannot let him live?"

Braeburn's eyes widened in alarm, as did Metamorphosis. For a moment, Metamorphosis looked uncertain. Then, he answered.

"If, that is your will... I defer to your superior wisdom." He sounded resolute, but there was a tone of resignation beneath, "He knows we exist. He knows YOU exist. He has become a liability that we can't ignore. If that is what it takes to prevent our enemies, current or potential, from using his knowledge to threaten us, however small it may be, then I will do so myself if I had to, without hesitation."

It was barely noticeable, but this time, Braeburn saw the Changeling Emperor regarded Metamorphosis seemingly with approval.

"I'm pleased to hear that." The Changeling Emperor replied, then, he turned his attention to Braeburn, "However, I do in fact have some special plans for our little interloper from Appleloosa. He may be of aid to us in our little venture."

Both Braeburn and Metamorphosis looked baffled.

"How, may I ask?" Metamorphosis asked.

"You said so yourself," His father replied, "He's a member of the Apple-clan."

"... Of course, truth-vision!" Metamorphosis said with realization.

"Beg pardon?" Braeburn muttered.

"Yes. All of the Apple clan possess this gift, to varying degrees. Lady Applejack, by virtue of being the strongest with such gift, makes her the perfect wielder of the Element of Honesty. That is also how this one here," He referred to Braeburn, "Almost saw through my disguise. The Equestrian Diarch knows it, and so do I."

"We'll face an enemy no one on this world has face before, thus his presence... would be of critical importance, uncovering hidden dangers and powers that may evade even our sights." Metamorphosis nodded, "I understand."

"Go make your preparations. We shall be joining you tomorrow." The Changeling Emperor ordered.

Metamorphosis and his minions bowed, and then teleported away, leaving only Braeburn and the Changeling Emperor upon the mesa.

"Don't I have any say in this?" Braeburn objected.

"You can say no." The Changeling Emperor replied sarcastically, "Your presence merely increases our odds for success, but ultimately, it is not mandatory. Of course, we cannot guarantee nothing will happen to you if you refuse."

"And if I say yes," Braeburn asked, "Will you let me go?"

"Young stallion," The Changeling Emperor said disparagingly, "My son wasn't making a jest when he declared you had become a liability."

Braeburn's hopeful expression became one of despair, realizing what he implied. Then, he got angry.

"You're all just going to use me up like some disposable tool?!" Braeburn exclaimed.

"Why do you suppose I lured you out here?" The Changeling Emperor casually revealed his true ploy. "You will make a very convenient ally, or a useful servant, but either way, I will not take any chances afterwards. You will be dispatched, and though it would be a fitting challenge for Metamorphosis, he and his subjects will work to remove every trace of your presence from the world and from the mind of all those who know you. In another month... it will be as if you never even existed."

"You bastard..." Braeburn seethed, "Go ahead, do you worst!"

The Changeling Emperor raised an eyebrow, pleasantly surprised. Any other pony would had been sobbing and begging for mercy by this point, "Are you not afraid of death? Of such a terrible fate?"

Braeburn bared his teeth. "All ponies are like grass..." He began, quoting from a book he read sometime ago, "And even the greatest of us are but flowers in the fields." He kept himself going, to overcome the gnawing fear growing inside him, "The grass fades, and the flowers withered. Only Celestia herself will endure forevermore."

"Well, I certainly know how she feels." The Changeling Emperor remarked.

"I know we're all going to bit the dust one day." Braeburn said, "Some in worst ways than others, but we all can't escape it. I won't blink looking at death in the eye." He glared up at the Changeling Emperor, at a deceptive being that, in his honest eyes, represents everything that's anathema to him, "And I certainly am not afraid of you! Never, do you hear me?!"

The Changeling Emperor regarded him for a few moments.

Then, he LAUGHED. A cruel, amused laughter with his ancient, regal voice. It infuriated Braeburn even more, if anything.

"You may have nothing to be afraid of, perhaps." He said with a sneer, "But I sense your feelings, little Apple... and I know you have much to fear FOR."

A flash of blue fire, and he was posing as Sheriff Silverstar. He even spoke with his accent, "Poor Appleloosa, soon to lose such a vibrant and hard-working member of its community." Another flash, and he was replaced with Strongheart, "Poor Strongheart, soon to mourn his dearly beloved, never to be together again." Another, and Applejack stood before him, "Poor AJ, soon miss seeing her favorite cousin in reunions from now on..."

Braeburn's eyes widened, "How did you...?" Then, Braeburn yelled, "YOU STAY AWAY FROM THEM!"

More laughter as the Changeling Emperor returned to his true form. "Young stallion. You're in no position to do ANYTHING."

That did it. Braeburn roared in fury and tried to pounce on the Changeling Emperor, only to collapse in a heap thanks to the arcane chains. Hissing and growling in pure rage, he tried futilely to rip his restrains off with his teeth, writhing and rolling on the ground.

At last, his body failed where his will held, and he stopped, breathing ragged breaths of exhaustion. All the while, he never stopped glaring defiantly at the amused Changeling Emperor.

Any other times, it would had been a pathetic display. But the ancient being found himself feeling growing approval for the mere mortal, for he sensed no desperation or despair in Braeburn's heart; even in the depths of anger and hatred, it was the truest of love, for his family and friends, and absolute determination to protect them no matter the costs, that was driving them. It was enough that a hive could feed on it for months.  To him, these individuals, rare as they are, are worth their weight in gold.

"Well, it seems you're a worthy specimen, after all." The Changeling Emperor declared finally.

"... What?" Braeburn panted.

"Surprised?" He asked, "The facts point to themselves; either you're a fearless fool, or destined to become a great hero. Either way, I'm impressed by your courage and strength of will," Then, he added mockingly, "if not your intelligence. Such qualities deserve preservation. So, a challenge: if you can defeat me in some way, I think I can let you live."

Braeburn considered this, then said "... you're a god of the changelings or something like that, aren't you? And I'm just a simple country farmer. What chance do I really have?"

"Well... none, really." The Changeling Emperor admitted. "But I never said I wouldn't give you one. How about a game?"

"What? Poker?" Braeburn muttered mordantly.

"If that's your preference..." With the glow of his horn, a pack of cards manifested before him. "Five rounds, and if you win any one, we'll follow my son's proposal and let you return home - risky it may be, given how your gifts might react to our magic. And if you care about the fate of the world, you can even join us out of your own free will, and aid us in destroying the source of these Dark Stones, as well as any horrors that they might have already manifested."

"..." Braeburn was silent for a long while.

Then, "I'll take what chances I can get. And I'll be damned if I let those damn stones and monsters from a board-game you lot kept talking about overrunning Appleloosa. Cut me loose, and you'll get your five rounds."

With barely a pulse of magic, the chains vanished. Gingerly, Braeburn got back up on his haunches, in time for the Changeling Emperor to finish shuffling the cards.

"Just so you remember, you already lost four games against me back in Appleloosa." The Changeling Emperor reminded. "Make what you will about your odds."

For the first time that night, Braeburn broke into his own trademark grin, something which surprised the Changeling Emperor. "Well, I play better under pressure." Braeburn boasted. Then he asked, "And... since I'm either going to forget all this, or get my soul eaten, I don't suppose you can at least tell me your name? Or whatever you call yourself, besides ‘Emperor'."

The Changeling Emperor smiled back sardonically.

"If you must know," He replied, "It's Blackthorn."

= = =

Empress Blackrose saw the rest – the poker duel, where Braeburn played against the Changeling Emperor, with his life being the stakes; the mines, and the horrors they faced there, like a harrowing adventure coming straight out of a role-playing game; at last, ending with Braeburn closing his eyes, accepting memory suppression/modification, as both royal changelings cast their spells, and him reopening it in his own bedroom, as if it was all nothing more than a bad dream.

When she was finished, she decided on what needed to be done, and contacted her daughter again.

-

When Braeburn came back out, he was still groggy.

"So, how did it go?" Applejack asked, "Did they manage to get it out?"

"... ‘fraid not."

"What?!" Applejack exclaimed.

"They said they never seen anything like it," Braeburn explained, "At least, not at their current level o' expertise. However, they promised that they know a professional, and access to knowledge, that could either remove whatever is causing it, or at least reduce its effects that it'll never bother me again for the rest of my life. But it'll take time for them to do the needed research, get her here, and make preparations, so they told me to come back in a week for a check-up and operation. Until then, they prescribed me some medication and spell scrolls to remedy the symptoms."

Applejack raised an eyebrow. Something nagged at her, telling her that this wasn't the complete truth.

"Sure... if that's what they said, then I guess we can go along with that." Applejack said, leading Braeburn away to the reception.

However, she was resolved to try something else before then.

(In summary, yes, what happened as hinted in Session 33.18 was that Braeburn discovered another branch of the changeling race, met its progenitor emperor/god, then managed against all odds to beat him in a poker game for his life, earned his respect, helped his changelings save the world the next day, and finally made to forget all about it afterwards.)

(Quite an achievement for an ordinary Apple farmer, isn't it?)

Session 34.6 Alex Warlorn

"Forgive me for being crabby, but one thing does confuse me about dear Gabby." Zecora said as she and Twilight played a game of Kalah. It had been imported from Zebrafica.

Twilight had, to her own embarrassment, thought the game was called 'Mancala' when in fact that referred to the GROUP of games that the game of Kalah itself belonged to.

The game wasn't that hard once you actually heard the rules.

The board was composed of six cups on the right and then again on the left side of the board, with the players facing each other, and a larger cup symbolizing a store house, with the player controlling the houses and store house on their right. The game started with four stones in each of the 12 total cups.

A player would win if they had the larger total of stones in their store house at end game (it could end in a draw).

They'd take the four stones, then deposit then in the other houses counter clockwise.

If the last stone landed in their storehouse, they'd go again, possibly infinitely. If the last stone landed in an empty house owned by the player, and there were stones in the opposite house of the other players, all stones involved were added to the store house.

The game ended when there were no house stones in the houses of one of the players, and both tallied up the total number of stones on their sides of the board. Zecora had allowed Twilight to go first, since she was new to the game, and the first move player had a natural advantage. There were many, MANY variances, but Zecora felt Twilight learning the basic version was best.

Twilight waited for Zecora to continue, but when she clearly wanted a prompt Twilight said, "What's that Zecora? I know she helped you as an assistant."

"And that was a very selfless deed, she truly wishes to help any in need.
Even if she did so for the sake of a cutie mark, her heart is anything but dark.
Wen I heard of her goal, it did not trouble my soul.
All progress is made by reaching high, it was once thought impossible for earth ponies to fly."

"... Which is why I didn't say it was 100% impossible. 'That's impossible' has been said to a lot of ponies who have then proved their opponents wrong."

"And I don't wish to cause a hassle, but Apple Bloom told me what you said at the castle.

"I do not wish to bark, but what did you mean only ponies can have a mark?"

Zecora showed off her hind flank and the spiral sun.

"Huh? Oh! OH! I!... I... I didn't really think about it! I mean, I always assumed that was some sort of birth mark."

"I admit they do not look the same as yours, I admit I first thought yours came from a store."

"You thought cutie marks were tattoos or stickers or something?"

"I said not 'cutie marks', I said -yours- when you find your sparks."

"I... sorry Zecora... I... I think... maybe I thought of zebras as a sub-tribe as earth ponies?"

Zecora gave Twilight a glare. "I know you have no ulterior, but to be 'sub' anything is to imply 'inferior.'"

Twilight stiffened. "Zecora I... I'm sorry... I didn't mean that."

"I know you didn't in the least, but it reminds me of when tribes thought others creatures were but clever beasts."

"... I'm sorry Zecora, it's just I've had a lot more experience with the crystal ponies than Zebras, and they ARE pony tribes who have been ... modified."

Zecora sighed. "I did not wish to burden you with guilt, but history is quite the complex quilt. Ironically, creatures thinking others were inferior versions of their own kind, actually paved the road for them accepting others as having thinking minds."

Zecora blinked and now Twilight had completely forgotten the game and was holding a quill and book and now was in 'must learn everything' mode. "Tell me more." She grinned.

Session 34.7 Mtangalion

Rainbow Dash darted over the Cutie Map table like one of Fluttershy's hummingbirds, setting everything in place. "Okay, *girls*. Are you ready to get this started?"

"I suppose, if we must, darling," said Rarity reluctantly.

Twilight twitched her wings. "Do we have to?"

Dash threw a foreleg around her. "Come on, Twilight! It'll be just like your sunshine and ladybugs dance."

Twilight groaned. "If we really have to..." The three mares hopped up on their hind legs.

"It's Girls Night! Uh huh! It's Girls Night! Oh yeah!!"

"Flawlessly executed, fellow mares!" said Rarity, slipping elegantly into her throne. "I must say, I didn't expect Discord to include himself in the bargain without making a fuss."

"Tisk, tisk, Rarity! I'm a draconequus of my word, though technically I never gave it. And please, call me Eris!" The Lady of Chaos was smaller than usual, with a cute mare's face in place of the leering grin of... whatever Discord usually was. She had a mop of white mane too, and...

Rarity blinked. "Are those... my eyelashes?"

Eris disappeared in a white flash and reappeared looped around Rarity's throne. "Why, what other example more lovely could I have patterned my own after?"

Rarity blushed, batting her eyes. "You old flatterer, you!"

Applejack read a character sheet, trying to remember where they'd been last week. "You okay, Big Mac? Or should Ah call ya Orchard Blossom now?"

The transformed Big Mac kept looking at her own hooves and trying different facial expressions on her slimmer muzzle. Mercifully, she *didn't* look like Big Mac in a dress. She looked like her sister more or less, a bigger, more robust mare. "Ah don't really feel like Orchard Blossom," she finally said in a quiet alto voice. "Truth is, this ain't anything like what Ah expected. How about 'Macareina,' like our great great aunt?"

AJ grinned. "Ah reckon that'll do... sis."

Twilight grinned, leaning towards the baby dragoness who'd curled herself into a ball in the miniature throne beside hers, trying to turn invisible. "And how are you holding up, Barb?"

"F-fine!" she stammered adorably. "Just fine! N-no problems here!" The rounded green ridges going down her head and back had become slimmer swept-back frills.

Gleaming Shield, Twilight's big brother turned big sister and geeky gaming mare, grinned and nudged Barb with a slim hoof. "Aw, get over it. Relax, enjoy the moment!"

Barb shook her head vigorously. "The moment I'm going to enjoy most is the moment when this is over!"

"Ah, finally! Here you all are!" said an unexpected voice. Another mare trotted into the map room, a white unicorn who was the spitting image of Rarity, except for having a wavy red mane and three glittering rubies for a cutie mark. "Allow me to introduce myself, darlings. I am Red Gala. What a wonderful occasion for me to come spend time with my dear younger sister."

"Sister!?" shouted Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack all at once.

Rarity gritted her teeth. "Alisa, dear... We discussed this. You were only going to do this in Canterlot when Sassy Saddles needs a vacation."

"Alisa? Whoever is that?" Red Gala blinked. "By chance, are you referring to your exotic and so very capable new assistant? I should love to meet her!"

Rarity sank lower in her throne, very conscious of all the stares coming her way. "Darlings, you *know* Alisa, how utterly convincing she can be." Even AJ didn't seem to know whether to believe Rarity or not. "I know how the last few years have been, but I am NOT concealing yet another mystery sibling, at least not... ugh, now she's even got me wondering!"

Gleaming Shield lit her horn, setting up the Oubliette Overseer screen and her manuals and figurines quickly and efficiently. "Okay, so last week you finally tracked down the evil witch Hydia, who cursed all the female members of the party to be stallions. You demanded that she reverse her spell... and she did, cackling as she transformed ALL of you into mares instead... big surprise, huh?"

Twilight grinned. "I thought this was going to be as awkward as both of us being stallions, but you're really taking this well, BSBFF."

Gleaming beamed and tossed her long blue mane. "Well, of course. I've had experience."

Twilight hesitated. "I really didn't need to know about that. Let's move on with..."

"Cadence is really good with transformation spells, and we like to switch it up sometimes, if you know what I mean."

"No... No, I don't want to know what you mean!" said a furiously blushing Twilight.

"That time when we were both griffons was amazing!" gushed Gleaming. "Though I can't remember if I was the griff or the hen that time. I guess we took turns! Ooh. Hey girls, now that we're all mares, we can all talk about our..."

"No!!" wailed Twilight.

"Mane styles! What? What did you think I was going to say?"

Twilight fell out of her throne. "This is my punishment for roping you into this Girls Night thing, isn't it?"

The doors banged open yet again, and Zephyr Breeze trotted in. "Well, well, hello ladies!"

Eris grinned devilishly and snapped her claws.

"Aiiiieeee! Oh no you didn't!"

Session 34.8 Ardashir

"Girls! Twilight, sorry I'm late!" Starlight Glimmer cantered into the room, a tray of snacks in her magic grip. "I just wanted to try something new I read in Spike's recipe book, and I..."

Her eyes went wider and wider as she looked around the room.

"Uh, Big Mac?" The crimson mare blushed and nodded. "Spike?" The little female dragon's scales darkened as she blushed. "Shining Armor?"

"I'm Gleaming Shield tonight, Miss Glimmer," the unicorn mare responded in a throaty voice.

"Hello, Miss Glimmer," Red Gala said. "I am Rarity's sister! That you haven't heard of yet."

Starlight just looked from the mares to -- Discord?

"See anything strange, deary?" Eris snickered as she asked. "After all, this is girls' night."

Starlight relaxed. "Oh well, if this was Discord's idea." She set the snacks down and seated herself between Twilight and Gleaming Shield. "At least we won't have to worry about everypony getting sidetracked if Sweetcream Scoops shows up."

Session 34.9 Alex Warlorn and Ardashir

"And with that, the goblin raiders' camp is completely wiped out, and you go through their corpses' pockets looking for stuff to sell at the local pawn shop," Spike narrated.

Rainbow Dash smiled. "Ah monsters, if only they valued life like we ponies do. Then we wouldn't have to kill so many of them."

And Fluttershy was giving Dashie a very dirty look.

Dash blinked. "What?"

Session 34.10 Ardashir

"Hay, don't look at me like that!" Dash snorted. "It's not like we killed ponies. We didn't even pretend to! These guys are monsters!"

"Ah kinda have ta agree, 'Shy," Applejack pointed at the monster book picture of a short, green, big-headed, fanged biped setting a farmpony's house on fire. Nearby others waited in hiding, crude knives and spears in their hands. "Goblins are bad news in this game! They burn yore house down, drag fillies an' colts off ta be their slaves, an' torture helpless critters ta death."

Fluttershy still looked unconvinced. Spike, as usual their gamemaster, listened intently as Rarity spoke next.

"And dear, they're not real, not like ponies or dragons or even changelings like Thorax." Rarity shrugged. "Goblins are mythical, like humans, er, in our world. You could slaughter a whole tribe of them --"

"I'm just about finished with that," Dash interrupted, flaring her wings out proudly. Rarity rolled her eyes and went on.

"No one is being hurt, Fluttershy. It's harmless fun."

"Okay." Fluttershy looked at Spike and a secret message seemed to pass between them. "Um, maybe after this adventure, Spike and I can come up with the next one?"

When everyone agreed, Fluttershy lowered her head to hide her smile.

A week later, everypony was gathered once again to play Ogres & Oubliettes. They found Spike and Fluttershy seated at the head of the table.

Dash flapped up to the table, grinning smugly.

"So what is it this time? Orcs? Werewolves? Undead?" She looked down at the table. "Aw for pete's sake, Fluttershy! Goblins again?"

"Oh, this time will be different," Fluttershy said as they sat down and she passed the character sheets out. Her friends stared to see the warty fanged green faces looking back at them from the sheets.

"This time, you're the goblins and you have to fight the adventurers!"

Session 34.11 Grogar-the-oneser

Rainbow gave an annoyed look. "Really?"

"Yeah Ah didn't want to say anythin' but it is obvious why you choose this particular scenario Fluttershy," Applejack said.

"We did promise her darlings," Rarity sighed.

"... Can we be any kind of goblins we want when we confront these adventurers?" Twilight asked.

"Sure I guess," Fluttershy said.

"In that case I call Tengu," Twilight said.

"What, that not a goblin!" Spike said.

"Oh yes it is," Twilight said.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 34.0 Ardashir (with edits)
Session 34.1 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 34.2 Mtangalion
Session 34.3 Mtangalion and Alex Warlorn
Session 34.4 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 34.5 BrutalityInc
Session 34.6 Alex Warlorn
Session 34.7 Mtangalion
Session 34.8 Ardashir
Session 34.9 Alex Warlorn and Ardashir
Session 34.10 Ardashir
Session 34.11 Grogar-the-oneser

Cover image by Flutterknight http://flutterknight.deviantart.com/

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Session 35

Session 35.0 Grogar-the-oneser

"Is," Twilight said calmly.

"Isn't!" Spike said annoyed.

"Is."

"Isn't!" Spike snapped. "Look, tengu aren't goblins!"

"In some mythology books they are described as such," Twilight said. "And in Ogre and Oubliettes there's no proof that there isn't some connection between the two."

"Urr fine, but you're the only tengu alright!" Spike said.

"Fine by me," Twilight said. The other, not as well read about different goblins just chose the normal kind for the most part but Rainbow Dash did chose a hobgoblin.

"Alright the adventurerss come to attack you, what do you do."

"I use my fan to change the size of there snouts to a size that makes it difficult to move." Twilight said.
"WHAT? you can't-"

"Tengu have that ability or do I need to bring out 'the Tengu fan' out." Twilght said.

"Urrgh." Spike groaned as he rolled the dice "Your magic was effective, they can't move now."

Session 35.1 Kendell2

"So they made a fighting game out of you and your friends?" Thorax asked, visiting Ponyville.

Spike nodded. "Yeah. Well, and our enemies...and Daring Do and Ahuizotl as guest fighters. It's awesome! They consulted most of us to get it accurate (and okay us being in it, so no one got sued...again)...though they didn't listen to everything..."

"Which button turns you into a cupcake?" Discord asked, looking at the controller, having naturally played himself. Pressing a button caused his in game self to produce a giant flaming candy cane that made chicken noises.

"It's called 'gameplay segregation', Discord," Twilight replied, having chosen Princess Celestia, who was hit by said giant flaming candy cane.

"Well I told them I'd just do that if somepony tried to beat me up!"

"Which is why your bio in game states somepony goaded you into not using your true power for the tournament," the lavender unicorn replied.

Spike looked to Thorax. "And that's probably why."

Discord opened his mouth.

"We both know that would actually work. Your ego is the size of Equestria," Twilight pointed out.

"...Correction: my self esteem is the size of Jupiter," was Discord's reply, sticking his nose up.

"Also, you took your eyes off the screen."

Discord's eyes went wide as Twilight's Celestia maxed out her power meter. The Princess of the Sun's mane and tail ignited and her body seemed to become fire before she dove at Discord's...Discord with a punch to the jaw..

The screen cut away to an image of Celestia flying up in front of the sun and building up power in her horn before unleashing a screen filling beam of solar plasma that nailed Discord head on, blowing him away.

"KO! Princess Celestia wins!" the game stated as Celestia posed with Philomena landing on her foreleg.

Discord grumbled. "Stupid game...Rematch."

Thorax shuddered. "Yikes...Queen Chrysalis won't like to see that one..."

"Why?" Spike asked.

Thorax pointed to his holes. "Last time she saw it, it did this."

The little drake shuddered at that. "Fair enough. She's in the game though..."

At the Crystal Empire, Cadence and Chrysalis were staring intensely at the screen, both naturally playing as themselves, and doing fairly evenly.

"I thought with how they think of you they'd make you the most girly thing on the planet, Princess," Chrysalis taunted, her in game self performing a special move where she turned into a black and green dragon and breathed fire at the opponent.

"Oh, believe me, they tried," Cadence replied, using her own special move where she created a shield of light and love to defend herself. "But I wouldn't have any of it."

"I admit, I respect that, "Chrysalis replied, their two in game selves pounding on each other until Chrysalis activated her ultimate attack, her in game self firing a beam of green energy from her horn.

However, Cadence managed to just barely activate her own, causing her in game self to fire a blue one to match it. The two beams fought back and forth as the two mashed the buttons. Cadence just BARELY managed to win out.

The result was Cadence's beam hitting and cutting away to Chrysalis trapped in a force field of light and love while Cadence fired out a blue energy beam that split in two then arced upwards and slammed down on Chrysalis, forming a giant heart shape with a giant explosion.

"KO! Princess Cadence wins!" the computer announced, Shining Armor appearing next to Cadence and the two nuzzling.

"Got you!" Cadence replied, giving a smirk.

Chrysalis snarled...then got a smirk. "Rematch?"

At the character select screen (which in addition to the obvious, included Dragon Lord Ember, Shining Armor, Spitfire, and so on), Chrysalis, to Cadence's surprise, chose Cadence...then switched her costume to her 'Empress Cadenza' outfit (Celestia had asked Sombra's good self be included as a tribute, so the rest were as well and explained in the story mode, given slightly visually altered attacks). Cadence had agreed to it because it gave her more leverage to make them not make her character girly, but obviously wasn't fond of her monstrous alternate self. The Changeling Queen gave a smirk.

Cadence glared...then returned it and selected Chrysalis...and her 'Duchess Chrysalis' outfit, spoiling the Queen's mocking mood.

Session 35.2 Alex Warlorn

The CMC had been surprised when Cheerilee had invited any students who were interested in a game of Power Ponies, no strings attached, and even get extra credit. Of course the foals had jumped at the chance. The CMC had gotten on the top of the list with quick reflexes. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon had bribed to get in on the action too (they were reformed, but still had money to burn) and Cheerilee didn't mind the generous donation.

"An enchanted comic?!" Scootaloo gasped.

"Yes," Cheerilee nodded. "I had it custom ordered just for this adventure. I'm sure you'll all love it!"

"THIS IS GREAT! IN WE GO!" Scootaloo cheered.

A minute later, the six ponies were dressed up as the Power Ponies in Maretropolis. Hum Drum being played by an NPC whose job it was to direct the party to the next set piece. Cheerilee had surprisingly joined in. With four earth ponies and one unicorn and pegasi, there was some changes to the group's make up.

Scootaloo was Zap of course, Sweetie was Radiance, Apple Bloom was Mistress Marevelous... Diamond Tiara would get her hooves on being Mask Madderhorn, Silver Spoon had picked Fillisecond since Mistress Marevelous was taken, and that left Cheerilee as Saddle Rager.

"So! Is the villain the Mane-iac? High Heel? Long-Face?" Scootaloo asked.

"Actually, it's a custom villain." Cheerilee said with a smile that should have had the foals running.

"Look Power Ponies! It's Miss Spell!" Hum Drum pointed.

"Miss Spell?" Diamond Tiara tilted her head.

The Power Ponies looked over the roof top that was the comic's starting point, and saw a unicorn mare burst out of the local post office. She looked... like a recolor of Trixie and her costume to be honest, except with letters instead of stars. He held a magic wand in one hoof.

"bwaahaha i the great and power Miss spell have done! I've liberated all those pour letters from the chains of grammer! soon all of maretropolis will no longer be under the tyranny"

The little foals cringed.

"How could I actually HEAR that?!" Diamond Tiara exclaimed.

"Stop! Police!" Said a couple of police ponies as they zoomed in front of the post office... letters flying about in the wind, and all of them now with terrible grammar.

"uh-uh-uh.... you don't want to do that.. !" Miss Spell fired her want at the police ponies... their eyes turned swirly.

"i have been freed from the tyranny of grammer i owe so much to you Miss spell, what can i do for you"

"She's turning them into misspelling zombies!" Hum Drum exclaimed.

"Take care of those meddling Power ponies over they're!" Miss Spell pointed at the nearby rooftop.

"Hey! We haven't even started yet!" Diamond Tiara exclaimed as the zombified police ponies began to fire lasers at them.

"Oh brother!" Scootaloo snorted, and rose up (she found she could fly in this world), and used the the storm pendant to call down a lightning storm on Miss Spell, who deflected the lightning with a wave of her wand.

"ha! your never going to beet me i am invincible!"

"There's only one way to beat her Power Ponies! She HATES being corrected! If you correct her bad grammar she'll be distracted and lose control over her victims!" Hum Drum did exposition.

Silver Spoon rolled her eyes.

Sweetie looked at Cheerilee. "Uh... this is about us not doing our homework last week?"

"Now what would ever make you say that Sweetie Belle?" Cheerilee grinned.

Session 35.3 Alex Warlorn

And the CMC+2 dealt with the ordeal of Edutainment, the Elements of Harmony had gathered around the Cutie Mark Map Once again. Only this time it was just the six of them and Spike The Dragon (sitting behind the Oubliette Overseer Screen).

"So..." Pinkie Pie asked. "No Trixie this time?"

"No Trixie. No Discord. No Gilda. No Starlight Glimmer. No Sunburst. No Button Mash. It's gonna be just the six of us this time." Twilight said.

"So... what's the game this time?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Just plain vanilla Oubliettes and Ogres," Spike said. "No extra modules, no spaceships, no demi-domain of dread. Just a band of heroes, some townsfolk in need of help, and evil but loaded with loot monsters."

Applejack, "That's it? No gimmicks? No magic LARPin'? No enchanted game books? Just us, the dice, and our imaginations?"

"That's it!" Spike said proudly. "I think... after all the crazy stuff we've been through... I convinced Twilight that a straight up O&O adventure would be good for her, and you guys. So every pony have their new character sheets?"

"I'll be playing a wizard of course." Twilight said.

"A wizard AGAIN Twilight?" Rainbow Dash said.

"I'll have you know Wizards and Sorceresses are completely different classes."

"They both zap stuff and have a little creature who act as their snarky servant. What's the difference?" Rainbow Dash asked. All eyes turned towards Spike.

"I'm not touching that one," Spike said. "And you Rainbow?"

"Rogue."

"At least it's not barbarian this time," Rarity sighed.

"OH! I'm playing a Barbarian!" Pinkie Pie grinned.

"Not a bard this time? Color me shocked." AJ remarked.

"Well, maybe I'll take levels in that later." Pinkie nodded.

"Fluttershy?" Spike asked.

"Oh! Um. Druid."

"Some things never change. Applejack?"

"... Ranger."

"At least you girls know what you like," Spike said going over his adventure notes. "And Rarity? How about you?"

"Oh my little Spiky-Wikey, I'll be playing as a cleric of Lurue! She decrees we live our lives with zeal and flare, and I'll spread her holy message across the land." Rarity boomed striking a dramatic pose.

"... Better than that time Rainbow Dash tried to be a cleric of every god in the rule book, and extended rule book, and the unofficial rule books."

"I thought we agreed never to speak of that again!" (Zombie Orpheus Entertainment reference people!).

"What I can't believe is Pinkie Pie tried to do the same thing!" Rarity said.

"For the record, it was only the core gods, and I was trying to spread a message of peace among the heavens."

"Which is why you still have that statue of your character on Cleric Street in the capital," Spike said.

"Yeah, too bad I couldn't be resurrected because my soul got split up among the afterlives."

"Okay, enough prancing down memory lane! Let's do this."

"Are we meetin' in a tavern and having a fight break out?" Applejack asked.

Spike discreetly tossed out some of his note. "What? Of course not. You meet in a ... bright cheery open field with a big sign saying 'Adventures Wanted!' Looks like there's work for all of you."

Session 35.4 Mtangalion

In the next room over... technically, it *had* been an adjacent room of the castle before Discord snapped his claws... Gilda and Trixie wore black leathers and dark goggles. Their tyrannosaurs biker gang was facing off against Button Mash, Starlight Glimmer, and Sunburst, piloting alien crystal laser mech suits.

"What are we even doing?" shouted Starlight, as their mechs combined into a bigger mech, playing it's own theme music on giant shoulder-mounted speakers.

The dinosaurs revved their motorbikes. "Who cares?" shouted Gilda back. "This is bucking awesome!"

Princess Twilight flicked her ears, and discreetly reinforced the soundproofing spell.

Session 35.5 Mtangalion

"There's a messenger pony ringing a bell for attention," said Spike, "and it looks like he's already drawing a crowd! The Princess of the Realm is putting a bounty on..." He grinned sharply. "Ogres."

"Oh my!" exclaimed Fluttershy. "Aren't ogres really big and... mean?"

"I would assume so," said Rarity. "Although I don't believe we've ever actually fought any! Which is kind of odd, seeing as how this game *is* called Ogres and Oubliettes."

"Shiny told me that they kind of fell out of favor after the first edition of the game," said Twilight. "Ponies complained that they were overused, generic bad guys. They're descended from earth elementals, so no matter how carried away an adventuring party gets, it's practically impossible to kill one."

Spike nodded. "But since we're going back to the classics..." He pushed a hastily drawn bounty scroll towards them.

Rainbow stopped slouching and leaned over the table to see. "A special bonus for discovering the new ogre leader and putting an end to these village attacks, huh? Tell that messenger that we're on the case!"

AJ rubbed her chin with a hoof. "Say, are we gonna see one of those 'oubliette' things while we're at it?"

Spike kneaded his claws, doing his best evil chuckle. "Oubliettes are kind of small. I was thinking of having you girls explore a dungeon!"

Session 35.6 Grogar-the-onser

Twilight wisely kept silent about the fact that oubliettes are in fact dungeons albeit secretive ones (with access only through a trapdoor in its ceiling) since she didn't want to ruin the fun.

"Okay... whose dungeon?" Rainbow Dash asked "And don't say-"

"Squizard!"

"Darnit." Rainbow Dash sighed.

"Okay then, this should be interesting," Rarity said.

"Lets do it!" Applejack stated.

Session 35.7 Alex Warlorn

Pinkie Pie spoke up. "HEY! I thought were going to fight ogres!"

"Uh, they work for the Squizard!"

"Doesn't he use skeletons?"

"He changed his mind!"

"And didn't we establish before that you abandoned that campaign setting because it was too embarrassing after Rarity started to role play and found out about Princess Sharity?"

Spike blush and let out a garbled noise. "Don't talk about that! And he's an official character in the rule book!"

"And how do we even know in character that it's the Squizard's dungeon? Isn't our entire quest to find out who the Ogre leader is?"

Rainbow Dash shouted, "Hey! Royal messenger guy! The ogre leader is the Squizard! So how about that reward!"

"You can't just tell them that!" Spike snapped.

"I just did."

"You can't in character!"

"I just had a lucky guess I guess." Rainbow grinned.

"They conclude you must be a spy and arrest you!"

"If I was spy, why would I say who my boss is?"

"UGH!" Spike groaned. He flicked the Squizard card off the table. "The Squizard isn't the ogre leader! There! You gave them false information! And are arrested!"

"You can't just change stuff like that after you just told us!"

"I didn't in game!"

"It's the same thing!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

Session 35.8 Kendell2

Fluttershy blinked, watching Discord play the fighting game. It was currently a four way battle with Discord fighting Chrysalis, Tirek, and Ahuizotl. "Discord?"

"Yes, Fluttershy?" the Draconequus asked, pressing buttons and causing his in game self to manifest an anvil and drop it on Chrysalis' head.

"What are you doing?" the shy pegasus asked.

"Villain battle royal! I gave Chrysalis, Tirek, and Ahuizotl 'magic internet' to play...I'd have teleported into Chrysalis' castle to play, but restraining order..." Discord muttered as Tirek performed punched him across the arena. Chrysalis and Tirek thought Ahuizotl was just an NPC thrown in to get an even number.

Fluttershy cocked her head. "What about Starlight?"

"She and Luna didn't want the honor. Besides, of the three of us I'm still classified as 'antagonistic'..."

"Oh...what about Sombra?"

Sombra's severed horn laid in a random area of snow in the frozen north, a TV sitting in front of it with a controller. Predictably, nothing happened.

"Tried that, didn't work. Apparently dead people can't play video games very well. Who knew?" Discord replied, as Chrysalis charged her ultimate attack. Discord smirked, positioned himself (who Chrysalis was locked onto)...then used a teleport move his character had to dodge and get Tirek hit instead.

The screen cut away to Chrysalis blasting him to the ground and slowly approaching the Centaur with a sinister smirk, before the picture cut away to him hanging in a cocoon.

"KO!"

Discord then had his in game self do a maniacal laughter taunt, which Chrysalis joined in. "In your face, 'friend!'"

Tirek snarled and threw the controller away. "Some day I will kill you all!"

A Bugbear roar came from nearby.

"SHUT UP! I at least DID SOMETHING when I escaped instead of doing nothing for years!"

"HA!" Chrysalis spat. "Serves that glutton right, now to deal with the manchild."

"What about Ahuizotl?" asked one of her Changelings.

"Eh, that b-lister? Who cares..."

The fight resumed, with all three remaining villains taking shots at one another.

Discord smirked, activating his ultimate attack while Chrysalis was busy knocking Ahuizotl away.

The result was an pinball cabinet falling on Chrysalis' head, taking the screen to Chrysalis looking up through glass at a giant Discord, who cracked his claws and began playing the cabinet, resulting in her being a pinball being bounced around painfully inside the machine before Discord got the high score and it exploded.

"KO!"

Chrysalis snarled in rage as her Changelings backed away.

"HAHAHA! Alright, now just to deal with Mr. 'I'll Target This One Specific Valley In The Entire Bucking World'!" Discord cackled.

The cackling quickly stopped when Ahuizotl blindsided him with HIS ultimate, which consisted of pouncing on him and tying him up.

The screen cut away to Ahuizotl laughing manically as Discord was locked in an over elaborate death trap that probably would've raised the game's rating if the screen didn't cut to Ahuizotl laughing manically as it activated.

"KO! Ahuizotl wins!"

Ahuizotl's kitten came up and was petted as Ahuizotl said "Next time it will be you, Daring Do!"

"..." Discord stared. "...Lucky shot..."

Session 35.9 Grogar-the-onser

"Okay so we're all in agreement that while the dungeon in question, does belong to the Squizard, he is not in fact the ogre boss and is more of a third party." Twilight said. "Is that right?"

"Yes," almost everyone agreed.

"But-"

"And that Rainbow for giving false information must lead the quest or pay the penalty for giving away false information." Twilight added "That the terms we agreed on, right Rainbow."

Rainbow grumbled but nodded in agreement.

Session 35.10 BrutalityInc

When Discord teleported into the Friendship Castle, the Mane Six that were present found themselves somewhat confused – and disturbed – by the diabolically gleeful grin that he sported, and the maniacal laughter that came with it.

"I've done it!" Discord cheered, alternating between waving flags with ‘Discord #1!' and making it rain confetti and cigars everywhere inside the castle, "Take that, Chrysalis, you cheese-legged hag!"

"Well, someone is in a happy mood!" Pinkie Pie noted happily, picking up a cigar to sniff.

"Do mind if you share with us why you're in for a party?" Rainbow Dash queried.

"What's there to share about, darling? It's blatantly obvious the moment he mentioned Chrysalis why he's celebrating." Rarity interjected, "I take it that our ever chaotic fiend-and-friend has successfully removed Chrysalis' restraining order?"

"You bet, ma petite guimauve!" Discord confirmed, even as he snapped his claw and materialized plates of cake and candy on the game table for the Mane Six to share. Pinkie promptly dug right in, "You should had seen the look on her face when the hammer went down! It was priceless! I can show you the pictures I took too, if you want…"

"You can do it later." Twilight asked, stepping into the discussion, "I heard about the restraining order from Princess Celestia, as well as having some talks with Luna about it. They said that they'll help you get it removed, but what exactly did you do?"

"What did I do? Why, silly filly, I did the one thing that you sensible pony adults always do when faced with this sort of thing: I appealed! To the Court of Appeal in the Spheres Beyond!" Discord tapped his chin in thought, "Come to think of it, doing that wasn't as irritating to my chaotic sensibilities as I thought it would had been…"

"Really, you actually managed to sit through a whole day or whatever in courtroom?" Rainbow Dash asked incredulously.

"It wasn't my idea; it was that of Celestia's buddies in that immortals-and-deities-only-club they call the ‘Cosmic Council'." Discord explained, "According to Celly, after I told her and she told them, they clucked like hens for a while among themselves over what to do about it. Some of the gods went as far as suggesting an immediate full-scale strike against Chrysalis' hive, her mother's objections be damned, before she could put any plans to conquer Equestria, and the world, into motion; but they took the boring option in the end and settled for helping me taking it down in court."

"Really, how?" Rarity inquired.

"Well, apparently, they knew a very good lawyer in the Spheres Beyond…" Discord explained.

= = =

Hastur, the King in Yellow, the Unspeakable, son of Yog-Sothorse, the lord of Interstellar Space, the Watcher of Shepherds (At least in Carcosa), Ponythulhu's half-brother/arch-rival/mortal-enemy, and the founder/head of the Nameless Law Firm, gave a buzzing, echoing cough – or something that mortals can associate with a cough – and sorted through his notes with the tentacles poking out of his obscuring amber robes, before addressing the assembled eldritch beings in the twisted, maddening realm of alien geometries that served as the Court of Appeal in the Spheres Beyond.

"Now, your honour, and members of the jury," He began simply, in a voice and accent that could had driven most ponies insensate just by hearing it, "Let me begin by saying that my client does not dispute the fact that appellant ‘Queen Chrysalis' has some cause in applying for Cease-and-Desist against his person, to prevent him from stalking her or interfering with her plans in any way, shape or form in the near or far future, given the previous history of antagonism between the two, the apparent conflicts of interests, and admittedly mildly excessive pranking my client has performed on the appellant' person – something which my client has apologized for."

Discord, sitting on the defendants' table and wearing a mismatched coloured suit, was undecidedly unapologetic. He glared sideways at Dra-Gon and Ponythulhu, who largely ignored him.

"However, what my client like to dispute is the Cease and Desist Order, in its current form, is too vague in its definition of interference and too broad in its restrictions. Not only would it be legally unfair to my client and utterly unenforceable, it also poses potentially disastrous consequences for his universe."

At this proclamation, the court was stirred into chattering and discussion. Ponythulhu and Dra-Gon looked at each other, uncertain at what game the Unspeakable is playing at.

The aquatic horror raised a webbed claw as he interjected. "Objection! The original document is very clear and concise in terms of wording over the scope and form of its restrictions." He croaked.

"ObJeCTiOn SuStAInEd." The judge declared from its many varying orifices, hitting the dock with his hammer wielded by one of its many appendages, "tHE BuRDen oF pROof rEstS On ThE dEfEnSE tO ShOw thE CeAse And DeSISt aS UnFAiR aNd UnENfORCEaBLE."

"That I shall, your honour." The King in Yellow said. He pressed on, waving a copy of the original document, "Superficially, it would appear that the Cease and Desist Order is clear-cut in its restrictions, specifying that my client is forbidden to directly interfere with the appellant's schemes, or have any of his schemes incidentally interfering with her schemes, or assist entities who are interfering with her schemes, or interfere with entities who are pawns in her schemes, nor interfere with entities who are interfering with her schemes, or entities who are interacting with those who are part of her schemes."

"However, when one observes the fine print more closely." He continued, "One could discover that in each specific point, what constitutes as interference is very vague. To your honour and members of the jury, where, I ask, does interference ends and non-interference begins?"

"For example, my client has already informed the appellant's mother, as well as informing the Principality of Equestria's ruling Princesses of his Cease-and-Desist. All these individuals have expressed interest in either stopping the appellant's schemes to conquer Equestria, or know individuals who would and could stop said schemes, or at least expressed preference that she does not pursue said schemes; and would work against her, having been informed."

"There are no laws or provisions in the order that forbids him from informing others, yet would not the very act of merely TELLING others of this development constitute as indirect interference, or assisting in interference, having warned his allies to prepare to counter the appellant where he could not?" The King in Yellow ask, "And let's not forget, my client is bound by provisions of his parole to inform and assist Equestria's ruling divinities in stopping the schemes of other malignant entities."

"In effect, he would be forced into an impossible position where he must choose either obey the laws of the Spheres Beyond, or obey the laws of Equestria; to choose between being banished from his universe for 2 million years, or being turned to stone indefinitely. The C-D order, in that regard, would be legally unfair to my client, as he would suffer legal consequences either way… unless of course, that was the appellant's intention all along."

Eyes wide, Dra-Gon turned and said a few things in hushed tones to Ponythulhu, who then said aloud, "Objection! That was never the intent of the Cease-and-Desist Order, and the questions of legal fairness is questionable when the defendant is already a criminal on parole in Equestria for unlawful usurpation of mortal authority, gross negligence of his divine duties, crimes against sapients on a national scale, and harassment against multiple entities, including our client…"

"And the appellant Queen Chrysalis is by their world's objective standards a ruthless conqueror and dictator who has escaped culpability, and shown no remorse, for rampant abuse of civil and sapient rights, illegal slavery, unethical sentient experimentations, attempted assassinations, illegal violations of sovereign territories, war crimes and even multiple accounts of genocide." The King in Yellow retorted, "I would like to ask whether harassment by my client constitutes as a greater legal and moral outrage in comparison to these crimes committed by the appellant, but that's beside the point."

The King in Yellow continued, "A more important, if not the most important, point I would like to make about the C and D order itself is that it is unenforceable, when accounting for what my client actually represents. To begin, let us re-establish the fact that my client, the Draconequu Discord Apophis Typhon, is the Spirit of Chaos for his reality."

"Chaos, both as an abstract concept and physical reality, is a fundamental component in the makeup of reality, whether it is the transition of order to disorder, concordance to discordance, stability to instability, the loss of sanity to insanity, the perversity of the universe towards maximum, the entropic loss of energy in a closed system to do work in thermodynamics, the butterfly effect governing wild weather and quantum mechanics… even at his ‘worst', my client has never – and literally can't - sway from his element. And perhaps ironically, chaos has continued to work harmoniously with other aspects of reality to ensure its continued existence."

"Having re-established this, it should then be obvious that my client is more than just the flesh construct here in this court that I am representing: beyond his physical form, he continues to affect the entire world he currently resides in merely by existing as an ABSOLUTE PRINCIPLE OF NATURE. Which means, even if he sits in his own personal pocket dimension, doing nothing, while the appellant Queen Chrysalis enacts her schemes, the mere fact that he exists means that chaos continues to work as a force in the universe, which would inevitably affect her plans, introducing unpredictability and disorder that could result in the schemes being foiled – Finagle's/Murphy's Law, as the mortals in that universe has defined this as. However, despite the lack of intent, this would still be interpreted under the present provisions of the C-and-D order as interference."

"In addition, an absolute principle, by definition, means that when applied there can be NO EXCEPTIONS that rule. Just as 2 + 2 will, and MUST, always = 4 in all situations, without exception, chaos must affect all objects, entities and processes, without exception. The C-and-D, by forcing my client to not act directly or indirectly against the appellant, would make an exception of her and her schemes from being affected by chaos."

"In short, not only is it legally unfair to my client, whether not my client is forced to completely removed his influence from the universe, or forced to make an exception to Queen Chrysalis, or is banished from his reality as a result of being unable to comply with the C-and-D." The King in Yellow concluded, looking directly at the appellant's table, where Ponythulhu and Dra-Gon are, "Chaos could, and would, no longer be an absolute principle of nature, and would cease to be a fundamental aspect of reality. And without such an important component, his entire universe could very literally FALL APART!"

There were gasps of shock all around the court-room as the implications sink in. Discord's jaws literally hit the floor, as if he has forgotten about this somehow, despite being the incarnation of chaos. Dra-Gon looked horrified, and even the normally unfazed Ponythulhu has started to look worried; he has not considered this when he helped his client Chrysalis compile the C-D Order.

The King in Yellow would had smirked if he has anything resembling a normal mouth; it's always nice to see his arch-enemy half-brother sweat.

He kept up his momentum, "Continuing from my first example, the C-D order continues to be vague where it defines what constitutes as indirect interference; concerning restrictions on interfering with pawns, or those who are interacting with pawns of the appellant's schemes, again, where does it ends and begins? My client could be interacting or interfering, directly or indirectly, with someone who is later revealed to be an unwitting pawn of the appellant, or does not become a pawn until a later date and previous interference are sufficiently long-term enough to interfere with her plans. We cannot assume that my client, or even the pawns, would have reasonable knowledge of the pawns' status and role…"

= = =

"Of course, despite my lawyer poking all kinds of holes in the C-and-D, he said even the best he could hope to do is changing the conditions of the order to something less restrictive." Discord grumbled.

"Makes sense; from what I heard, the case for the restraining order is pretty water-tight." Twilight noted, "Still, it wasn't enough for you to simply making it less harsh, isn't it?"

"No, I wanted it REMOVED, and I made it very clear to my lawyer that is the ONLY outcome I would accept." Discord bleated, "The thing that finally got it off me, was when my lawyer says ‘Screw it!' and invoked Trial by Combat or Contest."

"Trial by Combat?!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, incredulous, "That's a thing?"

"It used to be a thing back in ancient times with unicorns and griffons, and the dragons still does it to this day for certain disputes." Twilight explained, "It is usually done in the absence of evidence or witnesses for one or both parties. The problem with such method is that it always favours the side with the strongest fighter, or with the most money to hire the best duellist armed with the best equipment."

"However, it's also the only escape clause for me to get the restraining order completely off my back. Luckily, according to my lawyer, under the Multi-Dimensional Legality Act, which has provisions for Legal Pluralism, the Spheres Beyond courts acknowledges up to 8.5 BILLION different legal systems from many planes intersecting the metaverse, Trial by Combat included." Discord explained, "Needless to say, I jumped at the chance immediately and have a representative play for me against Chrysalis' representative in a contest of the invoker's choosing."

"What contest did you choose?" Fluttershy asked.

Discord beamed a smile. "Why, playing a game that I planned to introduce to you all today!"

Discord took out a box from somewhere and laid it onto the table. Its cover showed a giant, spider-like mecha-robot, facing off a towering, grotesque monster that looked right out of a Lovecoltian cosmic horror story. And the title…

"‘PONY RESOURCES', a strategy game for two or more players?" Rarity read.

"Basic premise is this: As a machine apocalypse rages across the world, desperate pony mages summoned the ‘Ancient Ones', hoping to use them as a countermeasure to the robots." Discord shrugged, "Needless to say, it turned out to be a VERY bad idea. Now the two factions are fighting each other for the control of the world, with both sides harvesting the hapless ponies caught in the crossfire for their own purposes."

"Sounds like something right up your alley." Twilight commented, looking disgusted and with disapproval at what she read from the manual, "I can get that the Ancient Ones would either eat the ponies or use them as living sacrifices to their eldritch gods, but what could the Machines do with ponies?"

"Well, maybe something along the lines of using their brains as Wetware CPUs, or biological power-supplies like in that Mainframe movie…" Discord muttered, ignoring the confused looks by the others.

"I heard about this! Wasn't it cancelled because the game creators didn't get enough money on Buckstarter to get development started?" Rainbow Dash asked, "So how did you use the game to win the Trial by Combat/Contest? You aren't exactly the best game player by any stretch…"

"Well if you MUST know," Discord said irritably, "I made a few one-time deals with the guardians of the Plane of Non-Existence to get it out, then call in a favour in Ponyville to get myself the best possible champion to play against Chrysalis' own…"

= = =

The changelings present in the contest chamber collectively winced as they watched, on a magical projection, the monster armies of the Ancient Ones laying down the hurt on the mechas of the Machine faction that they are playing as.

"You incompetent IMBECILES!" Queen Chrysalis ranted angrily, watching her imminent defeat unfold, "You are my generals! Commanders of my conquering legions, masters of tactics and strategies, superior warriors to all other cattle races in every way! How in my Mother's name are you losing to some 8 YEARS OLD BRAT?!"

General Pincer, one of the best and most popular commanders in Chrysalis' hive (And therefore can't simply be disposed of if he failed her), turned from the rest of the Changeling commanders playing the game and shook his head sadly, "With all due respect, your majesty, we're masters of war, not masters of GAMING. And this ‘brat', no, PONY… he's no ordinary gamer!"

For his part, Button Mash, Discord's champion in this Trial by Combat/Contest, is having the time of his life.

= = =

"Of course, Queen Chrysalis was planning to appeal against my appeal, but apparently some of her sisters persuaded her not to, somehow." Discord added, "But anyways, enough chit-chat about my newfound freedom from legal responsibility! Let us celebrate with a little robot-v-cosmic-horror, shall we?"

Session 35.11 Alex Warlorn

"Just one question." Twilight asked.

"Yesssss?" Discord grinned.

"Did you replicate yourself so you could double-date Celestia and Fluttershy again?"

"... I swear I didn't replicate myself so I could double-date Celly and Fluttershy again."

-

"For illegal use of magic during their match, Team Appleloosa is suspended this season, their win shall be given to Team Swarm, who will advance. This decision is final and may not be appealed nor overruled." The gavel came down with a slam.

-

The changeling emperor found himself in a jar in interstellar space, and the gar was being held by Discord in a Hawaiian shirt taking photos.

"Long time no see Love Poison Boy. I thought you should know. Secret societies and communities have a bad habit of falling apart in this world. Ask Bon Bon, Starlight Glimmer, and the DJ. You best make yourself known on your terms, or you'll end up known a way you don't like. Not because of me, or anypony, it'll just happen sooner or later. Tootles!"

The changeling emperor awake in his bed.

-

"Thank you Lulu."

"Do not ever call us that, 'Dissy.' We did this for his subjects, not you Discord. My thestrals suffered in isolation because of similar policies. I'm sick of watching history repeat itself. But unless he does it willingly, the fates will rip the world apart."

"Yeah yeah, I know. Also, some unnamed horrors will find having to withdraw and relocate troops."

"Discord, what did you do?"

"Oh nothing, just told them that if they felt like invading happy sugar coated worlds, I knew another one they could try on for size."

-

"TROOPS! READY! AIM! CARE-BEAR-STARE!!!"

"Run! Run! For Abyss' sake ru-AAAGGGHH!"

-

"Guess it was too big for their pant size."

-

Meanwhile, in Canterlot a changeling Queen and her infiltrators, were continuing to cater a seemingly endless stream of ponies claiming to afflicted by hexes, jinxes, and curses such as getting a pimple or their girlfriend dumping them. All of whom would ask way too many questions if the stop just shut down or burned down.

"My Queen! You said this was a one time farce for one pony!"

"It was!" The Queen cried out in dismay.

"Hi!" Cheered a young zebra with an ink drawing voodoo mask for a cutie mark. "I'm your new intern! I can't wait to learn everything I can from you about proper caring of bewitched equines!"

"AAAAGH!" The disguised changeling queen cried out.

(HAPPY 5TH YEAR ANNIVERSARY PONY POV SERIES!)

Session 35.12 Kendell2

Suddenly, Discord's hip vibrated and he produced a pager.

"Button Mash wants me..." Discord said.

"...Let me guess, you had to promise his mother something for her to allow him to be your champion against Queen Chrysalis?" Luna questioned.

Discord gave an annoyed sigh. "Yes...His mother made me promise him I'd owe him a wishes in proportion to how well he did in the game, and that I can't be a 'jerkflank genie' about it...Don't judge me! That mare's 'disapproving mother' stare rivals Fluttershy's Stare!...Now that I've actually got enough empathy to CARE..."

"Oh? How many do you owe him?"

Discord whispered in her ear.

Luna actually chuckled. "Really? How did THAT happen?"

The spirit of chaos grumbled. "I underestimated his gaming ability...well, I'll be back..."

"Okay, admittedly, this is kind of fun..." Discord admitted, sitting in a lounge chair as Button Mash, dressed in a green tunic with a green hat and swinging a sword in his mouth fought an army of monsters with an ornate sword in his mouth while Sweetie Belle, dressed like a Princess, used a rapier and golden magic to do the same.

Diamond Tiara, who looked like a black and white imp with a strange crown on her head that covered one eye, road Silver Spoon (who was now a very large wolf) into battle while Scootaloo flew over with a Naginata and slashed into the enemies. Applebloom was a huge pony made of rock wielding a hammer and bashed her way through the army of monsters.

Session 35.13 Ardashir

"So, girls!" Twilight smiled to see Applejack and Fluttershy entering the cutie map room. "How did your trip to Las Pegasus go? I guess you solved the friendship problem?"

"Shore did," Applejack said. Twilight's smile slipped as her friend said, "Ah hadda help those two sidewinders Flim and Flam ta do it, though. An' then they cheated everypony at th' casino, an' rode halfway back on the train with us!" Applejack sighed and slumped. "Ah think it coulda gone better. It was awful nice of ya ta send Spike on ahead ta meet us with some travelin' money in case we got in trouble."

"I'm surprised you trusted him to meet us at Las Pegasus." Fluttershy stretched her wings. "He's still just a little dragon."

"He was old enough to handle meeting other dragons on his own. And he said he always wanted to see Las Pegasus. Speaking of that, where is Spike?" Twilight looked around. "I thought he'd be coming right back."

"Oh, he's on his way here," Fluttershy flew to the window and looked back. "I suppose he had to change out his winnings."

"Well, if he had to ---" Twilight blinked. "Wait, his winnings? What happened?" Applejack and Fluttershy looked at each other and in unison gave Twilight nervous smiles.

Twilight scowled. "What trouble did he get into in Las Pegasus?"

"Well?" Applejack took off her hat and furrowed her brow. "Accordin' ta him, it was more like on the way back."

***

Spike strolled down from the first car, leaving Applejack and Fluttershy to get some rest. As he went back he frowned at what he heard coming from the door leading to the next car.

"Come on, lucky nine! Nina from Pasadena! Daddy Flim needs a new set of horseshoes!"

"Huh?" Spike looked around the door. "Hey, what's going on?" He blinked to see Flim and Flam surrounded by four or five other ponies, all of them looking dismayed as they threw their bits down in the middle of a circle they formed around a blanket. On the blanket were two small dice. "Oh, are you guys playing a game? Can I join in?"

"A game? Yes, it's a game." Flim rolled his eyes. "Now kid, if you don't mind..." His eyes bulged as they caught sight of the small bag Spike held, and the gleam of gold and gems from within it. "Um, on second thought, Flam, let's let the little fellow play."

"Sure ya can join in, sonny," Flam said. "Did you ever play dice?"

"Yeah, with Ogres and Oubliettes, we use them all the time." Spike looked at the two six-siders. "But we never played like this."

"Heh!" Flim winked at Flam. "Oh, well, I'll show you how to play this game. It's called 'craps'." Spike nodded and Flim showed the dragon the dice. "There's numbers on these dice from one to six. You roll them out on the blanket and if you get a six and a one, that's a natural. you win. A four and a three, that's a natural. You win."

Spike scratched his scaly head. "Wait, you just win with this game?"

"No, you do lose sometimes," Flam said. He showed Spike the dice. "Yes, once in a while. If you roll a two and a one, that's craps. You lose. If you roll two sixes, that's craps. You lose."

"In other words?" Spike's eyes went wide as at some great revelation. "You can win and you can lose."

"That's right. That's all there is to it." Flim offered Spike the dice. "Now is that simple?" He and Flam exchanged smug grins. "Still want to play?"

Spike nodded and took the dice.

"Now, roll them on the blanket," Flam said.

"Okay," Spike said, and rolled them. Up came a four and a three. "Hey, I win! Uhhh," he gave the conponies a curious look. "What do I win?"

"Nothing." Flim said. At Spike's downcast look he patted the dragon on the back. "Now, you don't want to win nothing. So we'll put some money on it just to make it interesting." He set some bits down.

"Hey, Twilight doesn't like it when I gamble. She said it was morally corrupting or something." Spike frowned. "If she learned about this she'd put soap in my mouth."

"Oh now, call it bingo night," Flam waved one hoof in dismissal. "Every old mare in Equestria plays bingo. All right. Put your money down." He and Flim exchanged sly looks as Spike dropped a handful of bits onto the blanket. "Just remember, seven you win, craps you lose."

"Okay!" Spike picked up the dice again. "Here I go." He covered his eyes and threw. He looked and cheered. "WHEE! SEVEN! I WIN!!!" He grabbed for the bits, only to stop as Flim and Flam snatched his claws in their magic.

"Now hold on, kid!" Flim shook his head. "You don't just pick that up right now. Not right away. You pick it up eventually." Spike looked doubtful but left the bits sit. The conponies heaved sighs of relief. "You know, let it pile up a bit."

"Until it reaches my chin?" Spike asked hopefully. "And then I can have it picked up with a truck."

Flam coughed, it sounded oddly like a laugh. "Hey, sonny, pick it up however you like. How much do you want to shoot for now?"

"Oh, just fade it."

"WHAT?!?" Flim and Flam snorted in fury. Spike looked shocked as they yelled, "What's this 'fade that'? You said you never played this game!"

"Did I say something wrong?" Spike asked innocently.

"No! You said it too darn right." Flam gave Spike a dirty look.

"You sure you didn't play before?" Flim asked, suspicious.

"Well.." Spike sighed. "Okay, when Twilight's brother was training for the Guard, sometimes I visited, and they had dice like these and rolled them in the barracks at night and said all sorts of words Princess Celestia told me never to repeat. One of them was 'fade that'."

"Well," Flam muttered. He picked the dice up and handed them to Spike. "I guess it's okay. Remember, seven you win, craps you lose."

Once more Spike covered his eyes, rolled the dice, and a seven lay before everyone's eyes. "Hah! Let it ride! I heard that in the barracks!" He shouted the last as Flim and Flam started towards him in a fury.

"No more tricks or lies!" Flam grabbed Spike and held him before his eyes. He put the dice into Spike's claws. "Roll those dice and no funny stuff!"

Spike did so again. "Huh, five and six. Eleven. Is that any good?"

"Uhh, no, not at all!" Flim picked up the dice and examined them. "I don't even know why they have those numbers on the dice. But go ahead, we'll be nice and give you another chance." He watched as Spike did. "Well, a four."

"Well, hello, Little Joe!" Spike immediately ducked a hoof swipe from Flam. "Barracks!"

"Okay," Flam said, ears pinned. "Now! You roll a seven before you roll another four, you lose! Go ahead and roll them." He and Flim grinned as a three came up. "Hah! You lose!"

"What!" Spike blinked and looked at the dice. "How did I lose?"

"You rolled a three, didn't you?" Flim said. Spike nodded, looking confused. Flam added, "And you rolled a four first. Now what's four and three? Seven! So you lose!" They hurriedly snatched up the small pile of bits and gems. Neither failed to notice that Spike had far more in that pouch.

"I didn't know we added them up," Spike sounded morose.

"Well, you do the way we play it," Flim set all the money they had down. "Now we'll play for everything." He handed the dice over to Flam, who kissed them first. "A smooch for Lady Luck! And!" He rolled the dice and eleven came up. He snatched at the money, only to bring his hoof back with a yelp as Spike slapped it.

"Hey, eleven don't count, remember?" The dragon looked indignant. Flim and Flam stepped forward, ready to argue, until they saw how the other ponies watched were glaring at them. They backed down grinning weakly as Spike said, "You were nice to me so I'll be nice to you so I'll give you another chance."

"Fine," Flim grumbled. He tossed the dice and got a six. "Alright! Now six is my number. And..." He threw the dice and another six came up.

Spike yelled in victory and grabbed everything on the blanket. "SIX AGAIN! YOU LOSE! YOU LOSE! YOU LOSE!"

"I don't lose!" Flim shook his hoof under the dragon's nose. "I got my point!"

"Oh yeah?" Spike pointed at the dice. "What did you roll first? Six! What did you just roll? Another six!"

"Well, yeah, but --" Flam began, but Spike's sheering drowned him out.

"Six and six is twelve. CRAPS, BOXCARS, BIG BENNIES!!!" Spike stuck his tongue out at the two conponies. "You lose!"

The first Applejack and Fluttershy knew about it was when they saw a cheering Spike with a blanketful of bits and gems come racing back into the car with a snorting Flim and Flam hot on his scaly tail.

***

"I hope Spike isn't in any trouble, we had to call the Guard to make Flim and Flam settle down."

"Trouble for what?" Spike asked as he walked into the room, bearing a bouquet of expensive Crystal Empire roses. "I was going to give these to Rarity," he said in response to the stares. "And oh, by the way, Twilight, thanks for letting me read all that book in the old library by Warning Word, VICES UNKNOWN TO EQUESTRIA AND HOW TO MASTER THEM."

Session 35.14 Mtangalion

"Whoa!" exclaimed Scootaloo, as she swerved her scooter to avoid the structure that had sprung up just outside Ponyville, seemingly overnight. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle nearly got tossed right off. "Where did this come from?"

"It looks like a giant house of cards," said Sweetie Belle. She poked at a big piece of cardboard with a tree painted on it, and it floated right back into place. There was a whole wall of those tree cards, creating a sort of pretend forest maze.

Apple Bloom narrowed her eyes, glaring at the two stallions who'd set up some kind of ticket counter at the entrance. "Oh, Ah think Ah'm gettin' a pretty good idea where it came from!"

Flim tisked as they approached. "Such a sour face for those cute little cheeks!"

"You should be kinder to ponies who are down on their luck, as we most assuredly are!" said Flam.

Flim stamped a hoof. "Since *some* dragon made off with our travelling bits before we could abscond with his. The nerve!"

Sweetie Belle blinked at the big sign they'd put up. "Flim and Flam's Mystical LARPing Mayhem, 10 bit entry fee." Her eyes widened. "Regular sword, 4 bit rental... deluxe sword +1, special this week only 10 bits? Lightning bolt spell, 1 bit per casting? Equipment repairs, 2 bits per durability point restored?!"

Scootaloo hopped up on the counter and glared right at Flim. "Who the hay would pay that much to run around a field yelling 'pew, pew!' ?!"

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon came trotting out of the maze, decked out in foam rubber 'armor' and 'weapons.' "Did you see that?!" exclaimed Diamond

Silver was nodding enthusiastically. "When you charged right at that ogre boss and bopped him on the head?"

Diamond grinned. "And then you cast Meteor and blew them away!"

"Ten bits, but it was totally worth it!" Silver hoofbumped with Diamond, and only then did they realize that the original Crusaders were staring at them. "Um..."

Apple Bloom sighed. "Diamond, were you keeping track of how many bits y'all were spending in there?"

Diamond grinned. "That's easy. We spent..." She looked at Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie, the exact figure on the tip of her tongue, and then her face fell. "Oh. Well... I can pay for all of us to play! That's a good thing to do for friends, right?"

Silver Spoon adjusted her glasses. "Or, we could all go play in my bouncy castle and shout 'pew pew!' all we want for free." She smiled. "That thing is boring with only one filly bouncing in it, anyway."

Scootaloo grinned. "Sounds like a great idea!"

"Now wait just a minute!" cried Flim, as the fillies all piled onto the one scooter somehow and left them in the dust. "A new sale started just this very moment! Blast it..."

Flam took off his hat and tossed it at the ground. "And microtransactions seemed like such a brilliant idea!"

Session 35.15 Grogar-the-onser

"... Why are you still glaring at me Twilight?" spike ask.

"We're visiting my mother and telling her what you did," Twilight said.

"WHAT!? Why?"

"I let you read those books so you wouldn't do stuff like gambling!" Twilight said annoyed.

"Really? 'Cause they had the opposite effect, I mean-" Spike stopped as Applejack and Fluttershy signal him to stop digging his own grave.

Twilight uses her magic to pry the flowers from Spike and give it to Fluttershy. "You can have Fluttershy deliver the flowers but for the most part we're seeing my mom. And having a long talk about avoiding what you did, as soon as I find my cue cards."

Spike eyes turn to pinprick as he shouted, "NO!!!!"

+++

"What ho, brother, I think I can hear that scaly swindler getting a taste of the terror we suffered from weeks ago," Flim said.

"You mean the mare who 'tortured' us about the portal thing?" Flam asked.

"The same, I almost want to pity the lad," Flim said as he eyed the considerable money loss from that game of craps. "Almost..."

Session 35.16 Mtangalion

Gilda the griffon swooped in from her long flight, perched on a high ridge, and drew in a deep breath of fresh morning air. "Ah, Ponyville!" she rasped, looking over the sprawling sleepy village, apple fields and eyesore crystal castle and all. "This town is crazy, but it least it isn't a pile."

Gilda patted her grumbling belly with a claw. "Heh, I could murder a jelly doughnut right now." She glided right on down towards Sugarcube Corner, brazenly landing in the middle of the street in her usual way, as if daring some pony to make something of it.

A purple earth pony with three flowers on her flank gave the griffon a cheerful wave, not jumping in fright or spilling her shopping bags at all. "Good morning, Gabby... Oh! You're not..." She bowed. "I'm sorry, that was rude of me. Good morning, Gilda, I should say!"

Gilda watched Cheerilee walk past, blinking. "Do I know you? Eh, whatever."

She padded on into Sugarcube Corner, her second favorite place for eats and now the home of her part-time job too, and she immediately had to step aside so that freaky white bodybuilding pegasus could reach the door.

Bulk Biceps' face lit up comically, seeing her. "HEY!! Is it a good morning, or is it a good morning?!"

Gilda tensed. "Uh, I guess?"

"YEAH!!" he roared. "Put 'er there!"

Gilda lifted a claw, trying not to yelp, but the stallion just tapped her claw with his hoof considerately, not punching her through a wall at all. She was still trying to figure that one out when the Cake twins latched onto her.

"Gwiffon!" squealed Pumpkin Cake, hugging her tail and drooling on it a little.

"Gwiffon!" echoed Pound Cake, landing right on her head and nuzzling happily.

"Okay, this is freaking me out a bit," rasped Gilda. "Pinkie, is this one of your games?"

Speak of the devil... Pinkie Pie sprang up from behind the sales counter like a griff-in-the-box. "Heehee, not that I know of!" She pulled a camera out of nowhere.

"Don't you dare!" hissed Gilda. The camera flash put stars in her eyes.

Mrs. Cup Cake trotted in and gently disentangled her foals from Gilda. "Sorry about that, dearie. They just had so much fun playing with Gabby the other day."

Gilda seethed. "Who the b..." The twins suddenly looked right at her, adorable innocent ears pricked up, and once again Gilda had to remind herself that having a decent job and bits to spend was worth a little of her dignity. "Who the heck is Gabby?"

"Gabby? Oh, she was amazing in the kitchen!" said Pinkie enthusiastically. "She was even... almost as good as you, Gilda, and she said it was only her first time too, say Gilda do you want to help me fry up the funnel cakes, I know it's not your day to work until tomorrow but Gabby had such a fun time helping out and maybe you'd have a fun time too!" She stopped and sucked in a huge breath, like a balloon being inflated from a gas cylinder.

"Gee, lemme think," mused Gilda. "How about *no*." She jingled a few bits in her claw. "Just give me some of those jelly doughnuts..."

"I just don't know what's got into this town," Gilda was grumbling to herself a little later, padding down a street while tearing strips off a doughnut and gulping them down. "More than what got into it already." She paused to watch a construction site, where two unfamiliar griffons were holding a steel beam while a big earth pony riveted it in place, all of them wearing hardhats. Ah right, that new Ponyville construction company. Apparently, business was booming. "It's gotta be that Gabby character!"

Gilda heard hoofsteps approach from behind, followed by a surprised and slightly fearful gasp. Now that was more like it! Repressing a grin, she said, "Yeah, whatta you want?" without looking back.

"I want to apologize," said a familiar voice with unaccustomed confidence.

Now Gilda did turn her head in surprise. "Fluttershy?"

It was Fluttershy alright, complete with a tasty-looking white bunny riding on her head. "When Miss Gabby helped out with my animals, and I made friends with her so easily, I realized... I never really gave you a chance, even after you apologized... um, for scaring me." She hung her head, her long mane half-hiding her face. "I even gave Discord more of a chance than you, so... let's start again!" She perked up, holding out a hoof. "Friends?"

Gilda wanted to slap that hoof aside and roar in Fluttershy's face all over again. The nerve of her, that cowardly cutesy-critter-loving wuss! Friends? As if!

But those crazy mares were all friends with each other. Pinkie Pie would be sad if Gilda told Fluttershy off. Princess purple-pants would be disappointed, Discord might turn Gilda into a plucked chicken, and Dash would be *furious.*

Gilda suddenly felt like an jackass... no offense to jackasses. Had she really changed at all? "Uh, sure... why not?" she said at last, clasping Fluttershy's hoof as if it might bite her.

Fluttershy beamed. "Thank you so much, Gilda! I need to go get the help-wanted ads for my brother, but maybe we'll meet again soon!"

Gilda watched her disappear around a corner, then snarled, yanking on her crest feathers. "Somebody tell me it's Opposite Day, and I didn't get the memo! Griffons aren't supposed to be nice and helpful! Griffons don't say good morning! We are fierce... badflank... totally cool... viscous predators!" A rock guitar growled, underscoring her fury!

Gilda blinked, and looked over her shoulder.

Octavia handed the rock guitar back to Vinyl Scratch. "I'm sorry. It's just not me."

"I kinda miss that," said one of the construction griffons, speaking up unexpectedly. He shrugged his wings. "On the other claw, it's kinda nice, them not shaking in their horseshoes like a bunch of pansies all the time."

"Heh, yeah," said the other one, fanning her face with her hardhat. "Why, that Tree Hugger dame and her flower pals even agreed to stop protesting the meat restaurant, after Gabby set her straight."

Gilda's eyes narrowed. "And where can I find this 'Gabby'?"

"That's easy," said the construction forepony. "I saw her flying out by Rainbow Dash's house."

"What!?" Gilda sprang into the air, pumping her wings to pick up speed fast.

She found Dash standing on the ground beneath her cloud house, oddly, surrounded by large boxes and packages, and talking with a rather young bluish-gray griffon hen. Gilda landed with a thump. "Et tu, Dashie!?"

The other griffon saw her and *gasped*, alarmingly like Pinkie Pie.

Oh no, Gilda barely had time to think, before the other griffon was right in her face, shaking her claw.

"Oh my gosh!!" she gushed, flapping her beak nonstop. "Gilda, you're my hero and you're really here and I'm really getting to really meet you, I'm Gabby, that's short for Gabriella Griffon from Griffonstone but please call me Gabby, and I deliver the mail and now I do a little bit of everything and I've made so many new friends and got my own cutie mark sort of and it's so awesome!" She threw her claws in the air. "And I'd love to be your friend too!"

"Whoa whoa whoa," said Gilda, pushing Gabby back a step. "What the hay is all this?"

"Oh, hey Gilda," said Dash. "Gabby was just about to help me move these boxes upstairs."

Gabby clasped her claws, dancing from paw to paw. "Ooh, ooh, when can we get started?"

"Excuse me!" bellowed Gilda. "Dash is *my* best friend since forever, and if any griffon is gonna help her out, it's gonna be me!" She marched right over to a box, tried to pick it up, and nearly fell over, not expecting it to be so heavy. "Ugh, what gives?"

"Sorry, G, should have warned you. The Wonderbolts wanted me to have my own home gym." Rainbow grinned. "You know, I really appreciate you two helping out. I could totally move all those boxes myself, but..." She flapped her wings, blushing slightly. "It'd take a lot of rest breaks. I'm kinda built for speed, not lifting."

Gabby put a forelimb around Gilda, making her flinch. "Don't worry, Dashie!" Gilda flinched harder. "I'm sure if we work together..."

"Oh, you wanna make this a competition, huh?" shouted Gilda. "You think you can lift more than me? I can carry twice as much as you!"

Gabby giggled. "Well, probably, since I'm not full grown yet, but the point is to have fun helping out!"

"Are you *sure* you're a griffon?" asked Gilda, as they were lifting the first giant box up to the cloud house together.

Dash lingered on the ground, and Princess Twilight appeared next to her in a teleport flash. "I have to admit," said Twilight, floating ten bits over to Dash. "I was sure this was going to end with Gilda flying off in a jealous rage, or needing a timeout in my castle basement."

Dash grinned, rolling the coins along her wing showily before dropping them into a bit pouch. "You mean, the Friendship Dungeon?"

"It's not a..." Twilight took a deep breath and counted to five. "The point is, I didn't believe you when you said it was cool and you could handle it, but..." She smiled. "You and Gilda have surprised me yet again. What if this doesn't last, though? What if Gilda snaps and starts kicking puppies to get her reputation back?"

Dash stretched, getting ready to go help the griffons. "Gilda's my best friend, so I'll do the best I can for her... but it still might be a little touch and go. Want to make another bet?"

Session 35.17 Kendell2

"So, what do you think of the reboot movie they're making, Dashie?" asked Pinkie Pie, the girls back in the Pony Rangers comic book word. This time they were in the third season's Ninja Megaponyzord fighting a replica of the second season's Thunder Megaponyzord (everypony agreed it was the right kind of cheesy back then, but then Pony Rangers Super Mega Force overdid it and made it laughable) in a storyline where the big bad made evil versions of the Rangers (comic exclusive).

"Honestly? I'm just glad it's bucking COLORFUL," Rainbow Dash replied, commanding the mecha to punch the evil replica. "I mean I can handle dark stuff, to a point, but when it comes to Pony Rangers it'd be WRONG if they were all so dark you can't tell which Ranger is which!"

Their mecha got slashed by the Thunder Megaponyzord and was staggered back.

"Let's hope they don't all have the same personality, or else we're gettin' Batmare v Superstallion again," Applejack replied.

"Hey, the special edition made that better!"

"But did it fix everything?" Applejack questioned.

"Girls, I think this is the part where Starlight calls in her zord," said Twilight's voice over the intercom.

"Oh, right..." said Starlight replied, then cleared her throat. "White Falcon Pony Zord!"

As the giant mechanical falcon flew in, Fluttershy looked to Starlight. "I'm surprised you like Pony Rangers."

"I like that the Rangers are supposed to be a team equals," Starlight replied. "Red is leader, but ultimately they're all important, that appealed to me."

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 35.0 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 35.1 Kendell2
Session 35.2 Alex Warlorn
Session 35.3 Alex Warlorn
Session 35.4 Mtangalion
Session 35.5 Mtangalion
Session 35.6 Grogar-the-onser
Session 35.7 Grogar-the-onser
Session 35.8 Kendell2
Session 35.9 Grogar-the-onser
Session 35.10 BrutalityInc (My attempt to knock Chrysalis’ Cease-and-Desist off Discord. For your interest: Human Resources, a computer strategy game that failed to get launched on Kickstarter, and Trial by Combat, a very old and frankly stupid method in medieval Germanic Law that decides court cases via judicially-sanctioned duels. Alex, please do not post this disclaimer in-text, as usual)
Session 35.11 Alex Warlorn
Session 35.12 Kendell2
Session 35.13 Ardashir
Session 35.14 Mtangalion
Session 35.15 Grogar-the-onser
Session 35.16 Mtangalion
Session 35.17 Kendell2

Cover image by Otonus

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Session 36

Session 36.0 Alex Warlorn

(SPOILERS FOR EPISODE S6E21 AHEAD!)

It was a few days after the 'Starlight tries to do five friendship lessons at once, brainwashes the mane six minus Twilight to make it more orderly, and it backfires spectacularly' incident. And the girls were back to their plain vanilla Oubliettes and Ogres campaign. Tracking down the dungeon owned by the Squizzard being used by the Ogres as a main base of operations.

Discord and co weren't having their LARP in the next room this time... as Discord told Starlight, "WE'RE PART OF A EXCLUSIVE CLUB NOW! Here's your 'I managed to brainwash the Elements of Harmony' T-shirt! And here's your complimentary mug! I'm ordering pizza! We can trade notes on how to bend minds to your will! Just imagine if we combined our methods! Chryssy is going to be so jealous! She never got to brainwash Fluttershy and her friends! She has to keep sitting outside the club house looking in!"

Fluttershy glared at Discord.

"Uh, that is, talk about -WRONG- and -IMMORAL- it is!" Discord belatedly backtracks." That's right! UH! Let's go!" Discord quickly retreated with Starlight in tow.

Now the game was underway. Twilight noticed that the party was running into an unusually large number of giant spiders and spider swarms.

"Finding an outlet for your fears Spike?" Twilight asked.

"I bet that hallway is the one that leads to you Friendship Dungeon."

"IT'S NOT A DUNGEON!!! IT'S A BASEMENT!!!"

"Keep telling yourself that."

But Spike did notice something else. The girls, sans Twilight, weren't jumping off the rails, weren't attacking random NPCs, weren't getting fixated on characters who were there just for scenery.

Twilight began to dimly notice as well that the girls were acting like a perfectly well oiled machine, no arguments, no Rainbow Dash kill stealing even through they all got equal XP for group efforst, no Fluttershy arguing they should reason with the blood thirsty beast that only wished it could murder them twice, no Pinkie Pie going off on wacky ideas just as likely to backfire as work. They were just going along with her carefully perfected plans like clock work. Applejack had not even complained when they had to set fire to a tree to flush out some goblin snipers. And Rarity had healed her teammates without going into role playing of praying to her goddess.

It all came to a head when they had captured a gang of goblins who were working for the ogres and knew the whereabouts of their base.

"What do you think Starlight would do?" Rarity asked in all sincere honesty.

"She'd want the prisoners to be treated equally." Applejack smiled and nodded not a trace of sarcasm or irony in her voice.

"Then that's what we should do," Rainbow Dash said happily.

"If we let one goblin go, we should let them all go, if we kill one, we should kill them all," Said Fluttershy.

Twilight had seen the 'anti equality' symbol Starlight now had in her room, and while it seemed comforting at first that Starlight had gotten it out of her system... it left the worrying idea that Starlight now saw equality itself as wrong, rather than FORCING ideas on others... To be honest, it was actually a little disturbing in hindsight.

Spike leaned in over the table as best he could and whispered, "Uh, Twilight, are you SURE you got that spell off our friends?"

"... It was a MESS of a spell, with a LOT of raw power behind it, a lot more than needed, I think that's part of why the spell strangled so much of their self initiative, not to mention it was composed of THREE LAYERS of mind magic... but I'm sure I cleaned it up."

"Okay girls, prank's over." Spike said.

"What prank Dungeon Master Spike?" Pinkie Pie asked.

As much as Spike LOVED the girls finally giving him the respect he was due while behind the screen... "Where you all pretend that you're still trapped in your own bodies by Starlight's spell."

"Oh we weren't trapped in our bodies darling, but everything we did felt so natural and reasonable." Rarity said. "Everything was so clear!"

"And... when is the last time you talked to Starlight?" Twilight asked.

"Last night when I work her up in her bed asking which color to go with for my new scarf." Rarity said not seeming to realize the oddity of that.

"So that's what that was." Twilight sighed.

"She said that if I felt the need to ask her again when she was already doing something else, to ask myself 'what would Starlight want' and to think about it, and then think about it again, and then do it if it still made sense," Rarity said in a causal tone.

"I... kinda liked it too..." Fluttershy admitted. "No fears, no doubts, no worries..." She was some disturbingly genuine wistfulness in her voice. "I didn't like how I let all my animal friends just wander off because Starlight told me to stay right there... but I did get to meet all those new friends, Mr. Rat, the snakes, the bugs, the centipedes, the spiders... did you know they're friends with Snails?"

Applejack admitted, "No limits, no blocks, no little voice saying I was being rude or forceful telling EVERYTHING about my family history to somepony, even smoke and flood wouldn't stop me..."

Spike hated to admit it, but that was on one note he was actually sympathetic to Starlight about.

"You did like the Chillax spot I built right Twilight?" Rainbow said looking at Twilight with an odd smile. "Starlight said find a spot, and once I was free of all those pesky distractions, I realized there was a great spot on top of the castle..."

Twilight said, "Don't worry Spike, it'll fade sooner than later."

"Tell what wears off?" Rarity said with a distant smile.

"I hope," Twilight said.

"Spike," Fluttershy said with a smile on her face. "I politely ask the goblins, if they can show us the way to the ogres lair. 'I don't know how much longer can I hold my friend back.' "

"Ah keep a lit torch raised right near 'em all menacin' like so Fluttershy's the 'good guard.'" Applejack said, when normally, Fluttershy and Applejack would argue about the 'stick and the carrot' method when it came to interrogating prisoners.

"Well..." Spike said reluctanlty. "It IS kinda nice to see them work together."

Twilight subtly glared.

"Not that that justifies using mind control magic on someopony at all!" Spike quickly added. Spike rolled the dice. "The goblin breaks and begins to tell Fluttershy everything he knows about the way to the dungeon, along with the traps set up along the way and the password."

Rainbow Dash said, "I'll be sure to scout again for the good of the party."

Even though Twilight hated to admit it, but it was nice to hear Rainbow Dash not suggest they murder prisoners for the XP.

"I'm sure to heal the goblins before we let them go, and tell them about the glories of my goddess." Rarity said.

Twilight and Spike were slightly surprised, but they did remember Starlight saying that Rarity had acted surprisingly initiative compared to the others. "Alright Rarity." Spike said.

"It's what my character would do in game," Rarity said. "And Starlight would want us to play by the rules and actually play our characters in game as they would act, not how we would act that would give us the greatest advantage with out of game behavior to get in game advantages."

The other four ponies nodded in agreement.

Spike was VERY torn, it was the dream of every Oubliette Overseer to hear those words.

Twilight looked carefully at her friends, their eyes weren't shrunken, and they weren't taking everything said blindly literally... But Starlight had created a three way spell monstrosity... Twilight hope this didn't turn out like Suri/Buttons. Button was still living in Ponyville feel every scrap and needle prick that Suri Polomare got countless miles away in Manehatten. Twilight wasn't sure she could handle her friends all developing split personalities (though for Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie it might have been just a new roommate for a mind that was already cohabited by multiple personas).

'It's okay, you already removed the spell, it'll wear off in time... it'll wear off in time... I am having a talk with Starlight when she gets back.'

"So uh, how's Gilda Rainbow?" Twilight asked.

"I'm doing my hardest to spend an equal amount of time with her as I do with all my very close friends, it's what Starlight would want. And to respect her culture values as being different from ponies, that's also what Starlight would want."

"And how's Alisa?"

"I've been dressing up in disguises with her in my off hours, it's what Starlight would want, me to experience her culture, in exchange I've had her spend an equal amount of time with me at tea parties so she can equally learn about Pony culture as I learn about Diamond Wolf culture." Rarity said with a smile.

"I've got to admit... " Spike, well, admitted. "This is the farthest we've ever gotten in a campaign session without everypony arguing." He shook his head. "Rarity, some of the goblins say they'll consider your works, since you didn't slaughter them as they've been told all adventurers do to goblins, and they bid you good luck."

"'May the blessings of my goddess go with you.'" Rarity said in character.

Spike himself was still bedazzled as how effective the girls were being, they got through the combat encounters with clockwork efficiency, and the NPC encounters with guile, charisma, and logic. Including bribing the young troll that was guarding the bridge to the dungeon rather than fighting him and possibly raising an alarm. Brainwashing residue or not, at least they weren't staring like zombies. And at least they weren't suggesting Twilight be 'fixed' to make the group dynamic complete, then again, that likely wasn't what Starlight Glimmer would want.

Session 36.1 Grogar-the-ondser

"Twilight we need to talk," Applejack said.

"About what?" Twilight asked as she look at the girl.

"About yer mind control fetish."

Twilight blinked, looking at Applejack as if she grown a second head "WHAT!?"

"You know, yer-"

"I KNOW WHAT YOU SAID, But... why would you say that!?" Twilight demanded.

"The want-it-need-it spell," Rainbow Dash said.

"That wasn't mind control! That was more... mind coercion."

"Trying to use the reform spell on Discord, which I doubt would even work on him," Rarity said.

"HEY! Anypony would have done the same, Discord was a monster when he was unreformed."

"Starlight finding two mind control spell she can use in your library with the one she had," Fluttershy deadpanned.

"... Okay that one does look bad but-"

"And then there was game night last week," Applejack said.

"What about it?"

"You use mindflayers, vampires and lich creatures known for their mind control abilities," Applejack said. "Now Ah get that everypony has their needs, but could you avoid using the mind control thing at least with ponies who don't share it?"

"I don't have a mind control fetish!" Twilight snapped.

"She so in denial," Pinkie said.

"So sad," Rainbow nodded.

"It's not what Starlight Glimmer would want," Rarity said.

Session 36.2 Kendell2 with a little extra by Alex Warlorn

(AN: I wasn't GOING to do this, because it felt too much like Discord going too far...but given the situation, it now feels like it fits because...well, Discord is DISCORD and he's VINDICTIVE.)

Discord had thought of a new game to do the 'make the game real' with. The group were high school students investigating an urban legend of the 'Midnight Channel' and got sucked an alternate world with a strange fog.

"So...other than fight random monsters, what ARE we doing?" Starlight asked, the group dressed in typical Japanese high school uniforms (Rarity hadn't been fond of that).

"Oh, you'll see..." said Discord, giving a smirk that made her blood run cold for some reason. "Just wait until we meet the boss."

"...I don't like it when he gets that look on his face..." said Spike, for some reason dressed in a red suit more at home on a toy.

"I know, but Discord won't do anything, Fluttershy's here. He'd never hurt her..." Twilight replied.

Discord then smirked. "Ah, here we are..."

The group suddenly heard the sound of voices...or friends bickering. Of arguments.

"What's going on?" Applejack asked, looking around.

"Well, we ARE in a radio..." Discord commented, innocently.

"I wish things had been different..."

Starlight gasped. "That's...my voice..."

"I wish everypony was special or no pony is, then I could be happy..."

Starlight's ears pinned. "W-what?"

"Discord, what's happening?!" Fluttershy asked.

"Well, apparently the game needed to customize the enemy AI, we aren't a bunch of Japanese high school students, now are we?" Discord asked innocently.

"I don't think that way anymore!" Starlight exclaimed. "I'm a new pony!"

"Of course you still do, myself..."

The group turned to see a SECOND Starlight, this one surrounded by a blue shadowy aura with her old Our Town mane style. Her eyes glowing bright yellow. The main difference was she was wearing an old Hooviet Empire officer's uniform (probably the most sterotypically evil thing Starlight could think of).

"It's why I wish I was still a 'completely evil' bad guy," replied the Other Starlight.

"N-No...I don't!" Starlight replied, taking a step back.

"That way I could go back to my happy place: where everypony is equal and I don't have to feel inferior, or superior. Where I don't have to pretend that desire is a BAD thing," Other Starlight replied, slowly trotting forward.

"SHUT UP!" Starlight yelled, her anger getting the better of her and fired a magic beam at the Shadow...to no effect.

"Why? You know I'm right. We want equality. We don't want haves and have not's. Nobles and everyponies. We don't want superior and inferior. We MISS being the bad guy because the bad guy doesn't CARE what anypony things about what they think!" Other Starlight said. "When we were the bad guy, we never WORRIED about if our beliefs were right! We could make the world the way WE wanted it! A world where no pony ever has to worry about losing a friend again!"

The shadowy Starlight looked her in the eye. "You try to be the nice little goody goody two shoes who FORGETS she was ever the bad guy. Goody goody two shoes, goody goody two shoes! That's what you WANT to be. But you know you aren't."

"STOP IT! YOU DON'T KNOW ME!"

"DISCORD, STOP THIS!" Twilight yelled.

Discord just shrugged. "And leave little Starlight in the middle of a tantrum? Good luck dealing with THAT."

"Of course I know you, after all, I AM you," replied other Starlight. "I am the Shadow, the true self. There's nothing I don't know about YOU!"

Starlight now had tears running down her face. "I'M NOTHING LIKE YOU! YOU'RE NOT ME!"

Other Starlight smirked.

"Well, we're only allowed to have so many ponies in a party at once, good luck dealing with the boss!" Discord said, grabbing Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie and vanishing.

"DISCORD!" Twilight yelled. "Why are you doing this?!"

"Simple: if little miss Starlight keeps bottling herself up, she might hurt Fluttershy, and the rest of you, again when that bottle leaks," said Discord's voice. "It's for the best she faces it NOW rather than letting it build up like a volcano and erupt! Now go on, be good friends and help her pull out that nasty thorn."

"...Discord..." Twilight replied, a realization coming to her mind. "Starlight hurt Fluttershy..."

Applejack followed her. "...He might be on our side now, but he's still a vindictive bucker..."

Other Starlight started laughing. "Go on, say it again."

"YOU'RE NOT ME! YOU'RE NOTHING LIKE ME!" Starlight screamed. The look her copy got made her feel faint.

"Yes, that's right. I'm me now. I'm not you anymore..." said Other Starlight.

= Persona 4 - I'll Face Myself =

Other Starlight rose up into the air, red shadows erupting and swirling around it in a vortex as the real Starlight fainted.

The shadows finally disappeared, revealing the most monstrous, sterotypically evil Nightmare version of Starlight they could imagine, with barding embroidered with Starlight's old equal symbol covering her.

"I am the Shadow. The True self."

"...Twilight?" Applejack asked.

"Yes, Applejack?"

"Ah know when we were in her Equal Hut Ah wanted tah buck Starlight in the face...but Ah'm not glad Ah have tah now..." Applejack replied as they prepared to fight.

"Still want those nasty Cutie Marks? I guess I'll have to FIX that!" Shadow Starlight yelled.

The normal Starlight fell to her knees looking up at her inner most monster.

"I'm conflicted." Fluttershy said, "Starlight wants this and doesn't want this... But Starlight wouldn't want a friend to hurt themselves, and it wouldn't be in character for me since I wrote down my character was kind and considerate."

"Let me free you from cutie marks' mind control!"

Shadow Starlight flapped her wings by a typhoon, and an big red 'x' floated above their cutie marks.

Special abilities sealed. Use item to remove or wait for it to wear off. -

Starlight wasn't even fighting back.

The girls circled around her. Rarity went into her pack and brought out items to cancel out the Shadow's status ailment.

Meanwhile, Discord felt a tap on the shoulder.

He turned around... and came face to face with himself...

"Hey! That isn't supposed to happen! I'm just running the game!"

"Since when have we ever cared about the rules?"" Said the Discord holding a paddle and a judge's wig. And... he was a unicorn stallion. "You say you want to punish her, to see her suffer for damaging something precious to you... but the you really want to punish is yourself! She's a kindred spirit! You both didn't want to stop until the world suited you. And you BOTH took Twilight and her friends and customized them! Made them like how YOU wanted them to be! But they accepted her with one heartfelt speech from Twilight, and all it took was one heartfelt speech from Twilight to get her to turn 'good.' She even made friends. BECAUSE SHE LOOKS LIKE THEM! If we forgive her, it means forgiving ourselves. You WANT to forgive yourself... but you're scared what you'll do again... isn't that right? But... does that mean giving up who we are? Will her becoming good mean giving up who SHE is? Oh oh oh! What fun!"

"Oh please, I remember how this works, all I need to do is not deny you, and you can't do a thing."

"Oh goodie! Because I'm just getting started!" And a very very VERY long list materialized into front of the shadow Discord.

"Oh dear..."

OOC: I'll leave this for Alex or someone else to pick up, since I imagine there's so many ways this could go.

Session 36.3 Zaku789 (with edits)

Flash Back!

"So what with the anti-equality sign?" Trixie asked as they were playing cards in Starlight's room. "I thought you were still pro-equality."

"I am, that represent my old understanding of equality," Starlight said. "The one that doesn't realize she was sitting on a time bomb and subconsciously treated everypony as not a real friend but like a cog in an orderly machine."

"That's funny, I heard Twilight mentioning how after your freak-out she thinks you were subconsciously treating it like one of those human world game.... sim something or other."

"Point is, I'm still for equality but that picture is there to remind me not to go extremist," Starlight said. "I just wish I remembered that just cause I prefer order, doesn't mean I should use multi-component spells."

"Speaking of said spells are the other still acting all-"

"'What would Starlight do?' Only a little, the after-effect is finally fading out thank goodness," Starlight said. "Or at least I HOPE it is, and they're not just faking it because they know it's what I want."

Five mare across Ponyville sneezed.

"But hopefully it'll fade out in a week or so, hopefully. Personally I'm worried what Discord has plans for me, he's being far too cool about it."

"Maybe he not holding a grudge due to Fluttershy admitting to enjoying meeting all those new animals?" Trixie suggested, Starlight gave her a look. "You're right he's up to something. What are you going to do."

"I'm going to try and take it like a mare and hope he's not planning on sending me to a sock dimension," Starlight sighed.

Session 36.4 Alex Warlorn

Rarity waved goodbye to the huge transport airship as it carried away the giant dresses she had made like Starlight had wanted. Rarity had found a market for them with the Pony Grande. It was what Starlight had wanted, and it had turned out well, Rarity didn't consciously realize how utterly good that made her feel. But Starlight would want giant ponies to have equal opportunities to afford fancy clothes as well wouldn't they?

Session 36.5 Kendell2

(AN: Since Alex ASKED me too and I feel Discord DESERVES to have this blow up in his face... )

Discord grumbled. "And for the record, I KEPT the 'can't hurt them' rule! I'm vindictive, I'm not THAT vindictive."

Shadow Discord laughed. "Really? Since when have we ever NEEDED physical pain to hurt anypony? I'm sure Shadow Starlight just did plenty of MENTAL pain to little Starlight...but you never thought about that, did you myself?" Discord's inner demon looked him in the eye. "Because good guy, bad guy, or neutral, you're nothing but a CHILD!"

"I'm n-" Discord bit his tongue before he could say those words, glaring.

Shadow Discord began juggling building blocks and other baby toys. "After all, who wants that pesky thing called RESPONSIBILITY that comes with growing up? Certainly not us. So here we are, stuck back in pre-school. Throwing temper tantrums every time something doesn't go our way! But who cares about CONSEQUENCES to our actions! That would be taking responsibility for them!"

Discord growled. "I don't need to take this..." he said, snapping his fingers to deactivate his spell...nothing happened. "What?!" He kept snapping his fingers. "No fair!"

"What?! Discord not playing fair? Perish the thought!" Shadow Discord replied. "Perhaps we haven't met, I'm Shadow Discord. The True Self of Discord, Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony! HELLO! This spell is as much mine as it is YOURS."

"Ironic hurtful echos is only fun when I do it!" Discord replied. He then bit his tongue again. "Which I am."

"Nice catch, myself, but we both know that sooner or later, you're going to throw one of your little temper tantrums and say the words I know you're thinking right now without thinking. Just like we always do," Shadow Discord mocked, giving a smile Discord was tempted to say was only fun when HE did it.

Fluttershy opened her mouth...but more than just magical left overs was keeping her from saying anything.

Session 36.6 Zaku789 with edits by Alex Warlorn

'Really wishing for the sock dimension now.' Starlight winced, her shadow self was really giving her a bad flashback. She knew she has to do something cause shadow her was going to attack her friends soon, but what, shadow starlight probably know her spells as well, not to mention having the ruthlessness of her old self...

'Wait... if she represents the old me, then maybe.' Starlight was forming a idea, and she could only hope it worked. "Hey shadow starlight! your against cutie marks right?"

"YES! ONCE I DEAL WITH YOU FOOLS, I CAN FOCUS ON BRINGING REAL EQUALITY WITH THE REMOVAL OF CUTIE MARKS WITH MY EQUAL ONES!" Shadow Starlight roared.

"But that's just foolish. Creating equal cutie marks, are still cutie mark. You even inflict them on changeling, creature that don't even have those in their real form."

Shadow starlight grimaced but then said "Then I will create a spell that will get rid of all cutie marks permanently."

"Okay A) even if that was a good idea, I'm positive sure the CMC will kill you, no if's about it. B) that wouldn't work in a long term goal cause there no proof we have the magic necessary to stop future cutie marks. all you be doing is canceling current one and leaving future cutie mark safe."

"STOP QUESTIONING ME!" Shadow Starlight snapped.

"No, you're acting without reason! You refuse to see that all you're doing is hurting ponies without considering the consequences. Your right in saying were no longer the same, I'm learning what friendship really means, and I never felt happier."

"I'm glad starlight thinks that," Pinkie said with the others nodding (Twilight like to thing they would have done so regardless of the spell.)

"Stay out of it." Shadow Starlight snapped but scream in pain as everyone began attacking (While Starlight was distracting her shadow, Rarity was able to heal them from Shadow Starlight effect.)

Meanwhile with Discord.

"LALALALA if I can't hear it, I can't deny it!" Discord said. Shadow Discord just kept talking as he knew Discord was going to crack sooner or later.

Then... Shadow Starlight GREW BIGGER... It gained a centaur lower body, and very large horns. She flapped her wings.

"I am Starlight Glimmer! And I want to see this world equal! Even if my philosophy gets proven wrong, that just means I need to make or adopt a new one! And I'll bring THAT on the world instead! Other ponies NEED to be made to do good! Why waste time and effort on teaching ponies to be good when you can MAKE THEM be good? We love it! The sense of order! The sense of control! The sense that we won't be judge or every looked down on! BUT IN THE END! You never stopped to think! That maybe what you really wanted was for everypony to do what you wanted! Customize the world to how you wanted it to be! Starlight Glimmer is right, therefore, everypony doing what Starlight wants is right! Admit it! YOU LOVED HAVING YOUR FRIENDS BRAINWASHED! It felt like you were back in Our Town! Where the pain never found us!"

Twilight shouted, remembering what she's heard of psychology. "STARLIGHT! You can't just JUDGE YOURSELF! You can't just say how wrong you were! You have to accept how you feel now! What you want now! The good AND THE BAD!"

Session 36.7 Zaku789 with edits by Alex Warlorn

Starlight winced, but knew Twilight had a point. "Fine yes, I admit I loved mind controlling them," She saw her friends wince as much the residue of the geass allowed, "but only due to what I miss in Our Town and not due to it being a fetish like Twilight."

In normal circumstances, Twilight would object but kept quiet.

"I could pretend for just a little bit I was back in Our Town, NOT because I was charge in everything, not because I had power over others, but because everything was orderly! There was no arguing or fighting! Maybe if everything worked out, they'd thank me, and they'd agree to do it again once they'd gotten a taste of 'for free'! Twilight would be so proud, and my friends would want to be part of my happy place where I never had to worry about alienating others! And I never stopped to think if I even had the RIGHT to do that! Ponies aren't furniture to arrange!"

"And yes I admit that there is a part of me that likes having things in my life in my control. But not because I want power, but more along the lines of having control over a situation in a way I'm comfortable with, things going at my pace and the direction that I'm used to. But I learned you can't just do that."

"YOU STILL DENY ME!!" Shadow starlight snapped.

"Not at all, all I'm doing is adapting, like you said we do."

"... what?" Shadow Starlight asked confused.

"You said and I quote 'Even if my philosophy gets proven wrong, that just means I need to make or adopt a new one!' yes?"

"You despise chaos!"

"And all I'm doing is making my philosophy work in a different way and adapting on how to handle things in a different orderly manner with the help of others."

"But no- it- she's... right." The shadow said confused, "But... she can't be right! But she proved that w'ere still connected." The shadow began growing smaller and and turning into the normal Shadow Starlight. "But that means were wrong."

"Look I understand, you're a part of me that I tried not to think about, but you are a part of me, and I can't deny that anymore. so in a sense you lost but you also gain something."

"... your logic... is sound." Shadow Starlight muttered as she transformed into a floating transparent Alicorn holding weight scale in a greek dress.

Starlight Glimmer has gained the mask to face life's hardships. -

Starlight has gained her Persona. -

"So how are you feeling?" Twilight asked.

"Well, aside from some mental scarring. I feel better, like a bit of weight is off my chest," Starlight said.

Session 36.8 BrutalityInc

“I’m glad our giants finally defeated that dragon Goreshade.” Applejack noted, sagging with relief, “Honestly, that dragon is far too tough for his size. I thought we may never get through him!”

“I’ve already written a letter to BBBFF about lowering his stats for starting players, although he hasn’t replied…” Twilight noted, “Too bad Pinkie couldn’t join our game tonight, being at the Crystal Empire. We’ll just going to have her being knocked out by the dragon fight for this session.”

“So what’s next?” Rainbow Dash asked, “We got that Griffon merc out of the dragon’s lair and… ‘interrogated’ him,” There were a few rounds of snickering from her, Applejack and even Rarity, “And found out where the crown was last headed. Anything to expect on the way there for our merry band of giant pony adventurers?”

“Well, there are rumours that in the countryside between here and the City of Marbleheim,” Spike the GM began, “There are a few remote settlements that are said to be under the rule of a singular giant. It is not known who he or she is, or even what kind of giant he or she might be…”

“Oh, great, we’re going to be facing one of our own kind – I mean, one of our characters’ kinds – who is playing tin-pot dictator or evil deity to a bunch of scared pony villagers?” Rainbow Dash groused.

“Actually, the hearsay is pretty inconsistent.” Spike noted, “Some rumours say that he or she is actually kind and generous to her subjects, protecting them from brigands and monsters whenever called, in exchange for food, and is actually a fairer ruler than many other noble and overlords in this land. Others say that she’s a cruel and petty tyrant who won’t hesitate to crush or devour those who don’t obey her every whim, like building giant statues of herself…”

“From the looks of it, darlings, it seems Twilight’s brother is being deliberately ambiguous about the true disposition of that character.” Rarity noted, “Do you suppose she wants us he wants to give the Game Masters room to portray him or her in either way? Maybe take a road in between?”

“Maybe… But I don’t like there being no clear picture.” Applejack asked. She always hated ambiguity of all kinds. (And not to mention rumours; hurtful and callous deceits that serves only to distort and destroy the truth. She REALLY hate those) “Is there something that IS consistent in those rumours?”

“Well…” Spike the GM read further, “One thing that stands out in all those hear-says are that… he or she is a bit of an egotistical blowhard who likes to show-off.”

There was silence amongst the table as the Mane Six took this in.

“… We’re so going to get Trixie into our ‘March of the Giants’ campaign, aren’t we?” Rainbow Dash stated the inevitability that now confronted them, to which the others nodded.

Spike read ahead… and winced, “Geeze, look at all this. Some of these giant characters are like incarnations of every single ignorant or bad stereotype about giants from around the world. I don’t want to know how the REAL giants are going to take it if they ever find out about this campaign.”

“Well, they are pretty insular, so no-pony knows about them enough to separate fiction from facts.” Twilight mused, “But really, it’s not like they’re going to lay siege on the Crystal Empire or something.”

= = =

"Shining, dear,” Princess Cadence asked, “why are there not one, but SEVERAL armies worth of angry giant ponies, deers, griffons and other assorted colossal beings laying siege to the Crystal Empire right now?"

Indeed, there is now a veritable horde of giant ponies, giant deer, giant griffons, and giant other sapient creatures standing outside of the city-spanning magical shield that had been hastily put up to hold their advance. The irate group were howling, shouting profanities, pounding at the shield, and otherwise showing extreme displeasure over something. The streets were empty as terrified Crystal Ponies hid in their homes, shuddering in fear.

“Cadence, honey, I have absolutely no idea whatsoever why they are doing that.” Shining muttered, feigning innocence. His gaming group friends behind him are doing the same, eyes-shifting and whistling.

“WE DEMAND RECOMPENSE FOR OUR PORTRAYAL IN ‘MARCH OF THE GIANTS’, A GAME MADE AND SPONSORED BY THE PRINCE-REGENT OF THE CRYSTAL EMPIRE!” The voice of Seismos, Gigantes warlord, could be heard over the giant horde. The other giants roared in agreement.

Princess Cadence gave Shining an annoyed look that made the stallion wilt.

"I think we'll need to lay low and take a vacation somewhere." Shining suggested.

"If we can get past all the giants pounding on the shield.” Princess Cadence said, shooting it down, “And who's going to stop them from making a buffet out of our Crystal Ponies?!"

Shining grumbled. “Bah, I've dealt with Diamond Dog lawyers and Yak emissaries, this can't be any worse."

Session 36.9 Zaku789, Ardashir, Alex Warlorn

"Alisa wants what Mistress Rarity wants."

"I want what Starlight Glimmer wants!"

Starlight groaned. "I want you to both just go away right now."

Meanwhile, when the Cutie Mark Crusaders had caught when that Princess Twilight Sparkle's apprentice had apparently repeated her mentor's antics except with brainwashing their big sisters instead of brainwashing them... they took with amazing stride. A temporary opportunity offered by Glimmer's fading mind control spell?

"Ah always wanted ta not have ta eat my alfalfa, big sis."

"Why would Starlight want me to keep ya from eating alfalfa?" Applejack asked.

"Why wouldn't she want me to eat my alfalfa?" Apple Bloom said.

"Good point, Ah better ask," Applejack said as she went to ask Starlight.

"... Huh didn't work as expected... but it did buy me time!" Apple Bloom said as she began putting the alfalfa back in the fridge.

"Thanks for letting me eat all that ice cream, Rarity!"

"You're welcome, are you sure Starlight wants to help promote a CMC board game?" Rarity asked.

"Yeah! she uh... said it would be good way to show how she mature she is about cutie marks," Sweetie Belle said.

"Mistress if I may, this seems like the ploy your sister uses on you whenever she wants to go camping but replaced the camping thing with Over-Mistress Starlight Glimmer," Alisa stated.

"That's a good point Alisa."

"But... what if she really did say that?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"That's another good point, I shall consider both with equal measure and come back to you both with an answer," Rarity said.

+

"Thanks for getting us those three tickets to see Zomb-Ponies from Space part VI, Rainbow Dash!"

+

Twilight learned about the movie tickets, she decided to give Glimmer another 'friendship lesson'.

Glimmer gasped. "Wait, I have to take them to see that revolting movie? Why me?!?"

Twilight stern expression didn't wave. "Because you're the one who made it possible for them to make Dash buy those tickets, that's why! And no running out of the theater or sneaking into another screen, you have to watch the movie with them."

"Alright, but if those fillies get scared, I'm taking them out."

Afterwards

Apple Bloom said, "Eh, Ah think Zomb-Ponies 2 was better. Less yankin' ponies in half in that one."

Sweetie Belle added, "Well, Gabby told us to try and see this one because they hired griffon SFX artists for it to make the gore scenes 'more authentic'."

Scootaloo snorted. "Well, they blew that. Come on, a zomb-pony's severed head hides in the fridge and jumps out to bit that mare right in the throat when she opens it? That was just stupid! Every filly and colt there laughed at it. Isn't that right, Miss Glimmer?"

Starlight Glimmer was behind them, in shock. "Severed heads... Ponies torn in half... Innocent fillies and colts laughing at it all... Oh Celestia, what did I just see?"

And for the next week Starlight would wake everypony up over her nightmares of having a zomb-pony head jump out from the fridge or the desk drawer or her saddlebag to bite her in the throat.

She also found out a little something from Rainbow Dash...

FLASH BACK!

"Thanks for buying tickets for me and the others to see that movie Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo said excitedly.

"Sure thing squirt," Rainbow dash said. "Granted I would've done so anyway, but it's nice to know Starlight has good taste in horror comedies." Rainbow Dash stated. She'd already known that the girls wanted to go see the movie and treat them... but knowing Starlight approved made the decision so much easier.

Starlight couldn't contain herself. "WHY DID YOU WAIT UNTIL I WAS TRAUMATIZED BEFORE TELLING ME THAT? And why would you buy tickets to that movie for three little fillies anyway?!?"

"Nopony asked me. If I had known it was what you wanted Starlight Glimmer, I would have burned the tickets."

"Ugh, maybe I should tell you to never buy tickets to send fillies to one of those movies ever again. They'd be better off."

"Whatever you want Starlight Glimmer, that's totally cool with me!"

"I'm tempted, but I know you'll change your mind once the brainwashing fully wears off anyway."

"But doing whatever you say is really awesome Starlight Glimmer!"

"You're not making this easier ya know. You HATED the headache, and you HATED me casting mind control magic on you AND OUR FRIENDS remember?"

"Oh yeah, well if you say it was wrong Starlight ..."

"... I wonder if there are any reformed changeling queens who have days like this."

Spike meanwhile, found the CMC after the movie to inform them. "High girls. I'm here in my official role as Twilight messenger. Ahem. Princess Twilight wanted me to tell you, your big sisters are going to remember everything they did after the last of Starlight's spell burns itself out... Thought you'd want to know."

The girls looked at each other. "Uh-oh." They said together.

Session 36.10 Grogar-the-oneser (with a big addition by Alex Warlorn at the end)

All the changelings blinked as they saw Queen Chrysalis was covered in tar and feathers.

"Err... Your Majesty," a brave drone said.

"Yes?"

"What happen... was- was this another assassination attempt by your daughter?"

"No, my daughter's usual more deadly than this, however, when I find who's responsible.... I will break there knee caps!!!" Chrysalis roared angrily.

+++

"Pinkie what's that smudge on your hoof."

"What this? Certainly not me getting revenge on a certain changeling queen as I suspect you want some payback against." Pinkie Pie stated.

"... This is one of those moment where I don't wanna know do I?"

"Indeed you don't Starlight Glimmer," Pinkie Pie smiled.

Starlight hoped it was a sign that the brainwashing residue was properly fading if Pinkie Pie was anticipating her wants, instead of simply acting how she was told and not that it was assimilating their minds, their lives were complicated enough WITHOUT that.

As a precaution, Princess Twilight had asked Starlight to tell their friends NOT to join the local chapter of the equalist cult, and then quickly amended that they shouldn't join any of the other chapters, nor start their own. Which seemed to disappoint Buttons, Thorax, and the flower trio as they already had the make-up kit ready for their faux equal marks and an appointment at the shop belonging to Snip's family for a traditional equalist mane cut.

The five friends seems actually disappointed at not joining the cult they had helped unravel and been reconstructed by its true believers. But Starlight knew she wouldn't live through the night when her friends were completely free of the mental suggestion if she let that happen. Starlight explained that while she still believed in equality, she no longer wished to be part of the very social movement she founded.

Session 36.11 Kendell2, Grogar-the-oneser, Alex Warlorn

"So...why isn't Discord coming to 'brag about the lesson he taught me'?" Starlight questioned.

Twilight's eyes went wide. "That's...a good question." It wasn't like him to NOT instantly appear the moment his plans had either succeeded or failed.

It didn't take them long to find him...and him.

"...Okay, I'm going to admit, this wasn't what I expected..." Starlight admitted.

"Good, you girls are here, now will you please kick Shadow Me's butt so we can leave!" Discord yelled.

Shadow Discord turned and looked to the girls. "What he means to say is sorry."

"No I do-" Discord covered his mouth.

"Sorry for once more causing you girls trouble with one of our screwups. Sorry for Tirek. Sorry for the Hedgemaze. Sorry for EVERYTHING," Discord's Shadow replied. "...But he's too scared to say it. Because he's a coward."

"I'm not a coward!" Discord yelled, that having hit a nerve.

"Of course you are, and you know it," Shadow Discord said, producing a cart. The Y axis was labeled 'Discord's Courage' and the X Axis labeled 'Power Of Thing He's Facing'. It was a steady downward arc. "As you can clearly see on this cart, our courage is directly proportional to how much more powerful we are than what we're facing. And that's why the words 'I'm sorry' scare you so bad, isn't it? Because saying 'I'm sorry' and meaning it means actually LEARNING from your mistakes. And you're too afraid of yourself to trust yourself not to repeat it again, and again, and again. Just like you always do. And what being has more power over us than ourselves?"

"I'M NOT SCARED OF ANYTHING! I'M DISCORD!" the Spirit of Chaos shouted.

"Of course you are, you're just a scared little cowardly child. Afraid to admit he can be wrong. Afraid to trust himself to not make the same mistakes. Afraid to be forgiven because he's afraid to trust himself. We just want to stay a child for all eternity, so we don't have to worry about doing any of that. Because who expects any of that from a CHILD?...But I'm even afraid of that..." Shadow Discord remarked, giving a familiar chuckle. "Because without responsibility. Without actions. Without growing and becoming mature enough to ADD anything to this world, we'll be forgotten. AGAIN."

"WHY WOULD THAT SCARE ME?! I'M DISCORD! WHY WOULD ANYONE FORGET ME!" Discord shouted back, snarling.

Twilight blinked...then gasped. "...Because it happened before..."

"Ding ding ding! Trophy for the princess! Celestia and Luna are beloved Princesses. Even you six have ponies who know what you've done and big stained glass windows in your honor. Twilight is even a PRINCESS...but not me. We ruled the world for a thousand years...but the Era of Chaos isn't even in the history books! Everypony FORGOT about us! And do you know why? Because we never added a gosh darn thing that ponies would WANT to remember! That's WHY! It's why one of our nightmares is you all sitting around a table, chatting about your adventures...except for your fight with us. Barely remembering our name," Shadow Discord explained. "Even now, we're just freeloading on Fluttershy and focused on 'us us us!' Let's face the facts: it's only Fluttershy's infinite kindness that let's her TOLERATE us! We're afraid to grow up, afraid to stay a child. Tell me Discord, what does that MAKE us then? How do we JUDGE ourselves? Because I judge us as the biggest coward and biggest FAILURE I've ever seen in my life!" Shadow Discord explained, banging a gavel.

"Don't say it Discord!" Starlight shouted.

Discord looked like he was going to pop a blood vessel. "NOT YOU! YOU'RE NOT ME!"

Shadow Discord gave a 'the game is over, and I win' smirk. "That's right, not anymore!"

Shadow Discord erupted into red smoke. when it cleared, the result was...a giant stuffed animal version of Discord sitting at a judge's chair made of building blocks with a novelty inflatable hammer as a gavel, tears running from the button eyes. "I am the Shadow, the True Self."

Discord just gave a annoyed look. "It's bad enough you tricked me into saying that, but do you honestly have to look like that?"

"Don't hate me, hate the game?" Shadow Discord cackled. "Come to me my Princesses!"

Shadow Discord Summoned Doll Celestia -

A life size plushie of Celestia appeared on the battle field.

-Doll Celestia cast Heat Raiser -

All of Shadow Discord's stats have increased!-

"I've waited for this!" Rainbow Dash Sonic Rainboomed Shadow Discord.

"Ditto!" Applejack said as applebucked Shadow Discord.

-Fluttershy used the stare-

-It was ineffective-

Spike wished his character was actually part of the battle.

Rarity used diamond shower!-

Pinkie Pie used party canon! -

Starlight and Twilight used Duel Tech, Mega Spell Blast! -

"OW! That hurt! Now now! No need to be jealous!"

"WAIT! NO! DON'T!" The real Discord begged knowing what was coming next.

Doll Celestia Heals Shadow Discord -

"Come to me my blushing brides!" Lasers shot out of Shadow Discord's eyes, hitting Fluttrshy, Twilight, and Starlight Glimmer... all three were now in pretty white flowery dresses.

Twilight, Fluttershy, and Starlight's attack/defense sharply dropped -

-Fluttershy is Charmed - A little heart appeared over Fluttershy's head.

"Oh Discord you hot dreamy stud you!"

"NOOOO!!!!" Discord said ready to die of embarrassment and fainted.

Session 36.12 Alex Warlorn

'So Starlight used mind magic to turn the girls into her happy little puppets, and then it all blew up in her face because they didn't have any free will to interpret what she said except literally.' Twilight write in the journal.

Sunset wrote back. 'I have taken a programming class, I an probably help her see where she went wrong with her spell.'

Twilight balked at the words. She wrote quickly back, 'WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT?! At least she seems to have realized using brainwashing on your friends is not a good thing, at last!'

'... Calm down. Geez. Down girl down. I thought you had her do it as part of a controlled experiment, and it went wrong, and since I've used mind control magic before, I though you wanted me to help give her pointers.'

'WHY WOULD I EVER WANT THAT?!' Twilight wrote furiously.

'Well, I read about what you've done before, and even though it always seems to backfire, you still use mind magic a lot to try and fix things. I thought the girls volunteered to help work out the bugs for next time.'

Twilight slammed the book closed.

(Inspired by this comic: http://rvceric.deviantart.com/art/Extra-lessons-636456929 )

Session 36.13 Alex Warlorn

"Shining... where did all the angry giant ponies, griffins, and other logistically impossible beings outside our city vanish to?" Cadence asked.

"I think... " Shining Armor took out a telescope. "Remember how we had Sunburst and Thorax baby sitting Flurry Heart?"

"Yes?"

"It looks like Throax tried to get word out to the outside world about the siege, and they thought 'a channeling, squish' and Flurry Heart I think may not have liked that... which might explain the several doll sized creatures that she's having play in the snow with her."

Cadence groaned and covered her eyes. "Just once can't we have one of your friends' games not invoke the wrath of some oversensitive tribe?"

Meanwhile, via her ~~spy base~~ embassy, Chrysalis snarled at her youngest child. "Why couldn't you do THAT when that giant neighponese nag came to the hive to ruin my day?!"

"... I'm sorry mommy..."

Session 36.14 Alex Warlorn

"Starlight, Trixie knows basic stage hypnosis, and wants you to teach her more."

"You're not planning to use it to overthrow Twiight and become Ponyville's new princess are you?"

"Perish the thought, ruling Ponyville would remind me too much of the Alicorn Amulet."

"... Trixie, it's not that I don't trust you... but I created that spell and I still messed up using it. And I'm not sure a unicorn at your-" Starlight stopped seeing the look in Trixie's eyes. "Uh, ponies would say you're cheating if you used it instead of stage hypnosis."

Trixie didn't like that answer, but she accepted it.

"... Alright. But please tell me at least you took embarrassing photos while you had the girls enchanted."

"Sorry."

"Double drat."

"Pinkie Pie popped out form somewhere. "Would Starlight Glimmer like me to do embarrassing things while under mind control?"

"It's... " Trixie said. "Not the same when you do it on purpose."

"I'm technically suffering from brainwashing residue."

"And you do embarrassing things every other day Pinkie Pie."

"Want me to tell the others-"

"NO!" Starlight said. "I don't want that AT ALL!"

"Ookey, dooee-lokee." Pinkie Pie slipped away.

Starlight said, "It was freaky when I first spied on her, and saw how happy she always was after she was always so sour in Our Town. She told me... she told .. it was because all the smiles there were 'fake.'" Starlight shivered. "Just like all the girls listening to me was fake."

Trixie hugged her. "Just like the power Trixie had was fake... it owned her, not the other way around."

Starlight hugged her back.

"Wanna play Harmony The Gathering?"

"Sure."

Session 36.15 Grogar-the-oneser

Twilight created a bucket of water and dumped it on Discord. "Wake up!"

Discord spluttered a bit. "You know there are nicer ways to do that."

"Listen up Discord, we're keeping shadow you distracted but the only way to defeat him is if you do the same thing Starlight did."

"Do I have to," Discord whined. Twilight gave a annoyed look. "Fine, but I'm only doing it cause I don't like how fluttershy going all lovey-dovey on shadow me."

Session 36.16 Grogar-the-oneser

"Listen up shadow me!"

"Listening."

'I admit you have a... glurgh, you have a blurgh," Discord groaned before slapping himself a few times. He then grabbed both his upper and lower jaws and began to say the words "A point about the forgotten thing. It's true I hated that my history was forgotten, even Luna was able to be remember during her Nightmare Moon phase as a fairy tale/holiday while I was swept under the rug. Even Tirek was remember albeit as the pony equivalent to Satan."

"And?" Shadow Discord asked.

"Oh come on you're killing me here!" Discord snapped.

Session 36.17 Richforce (Based on Stellaris)

Trying to keep human Rainbow Dash studying human Twilight started using the computer to play a different game than World of Horsecraft. Cosmosis was a grand strategy game where she had to develop a civilization from first discovering faster than light travel into a lasting interstellar empire.

It was quite a task handling resource management, system surveys and building up a battle fleet to handle potentially dangerous space borne entities. And this was BEFORE she was able to successfully build her first extra solar colony and meet another sapient species.

After introducing Sunset to Cosmosis they decided to team up in a multiplayer campaign. Having luckily had their respective homeworlds close enough together to gain quick contact yet far enough apart to build a fair amount of territory before establishing a formal alliance. Then came contact with another player empire whose first move was aggressive.

"The United Planets of Equality?" Sunset said. "Just who is this Glimglam99?"

"I don't know but they have a friend," said Twilight. "The Grand Academy of Sciences created by Readinginthesun. Seems like they have the same strategy we do."

"Well they will be no match for the Celestial Harmonium and..." Sunset sighed. "The World United Senate of Societies."

"Hey, it's a good name for a group of nations coming together in peace."

Sunset shrugged. "Ok W.U.S.S."

"Why are you calling me a..." Twilight then widened her eyes. "Oh, too late to change it this game, guess I'll just have to take my medicine."

"Along with some humble pie!" came Trixie who was using her own laptop.

The girls just noted her empire had made contact with their alliance.

"Prepare the to fall before the Great and Powerful Empire of Trixie!"

"She's right about one thing," said Sunset. "That's exactly what she named her empire."

"I don't think she's that big a threat," said Twilight. "It looks like she's spread her fleets too thin."

Trixie smirked. "Oh I'm building more, and I've just finished researching two technologies that will give me the edge. Let's see how Glimglam99 handles my battle fleets and robotic army supported by Synthetic Intelligence, especially since my ships are now equipped with Jump Engines for their FTL needs!"

"Now I'm not worried at all," said Twilight.

"Huh?"

"You did notice that certain research projects came in different colors right?"

"Well yes, to indicate how rare they are and Synthetic Intelligence and Jump Engines are red making them super rare!"

"Actually they are only as rare as a blue or purple, but they are red for a reason. You see to speed up the endgame one of three crisis situations will pop up that offers the chance at salvaging hyper advanced tech but it also introduces a threat that has to be dealt with and usually takes out the empire that triggers it. You've researched two potential crisis inducing technologies."

An in game warning popped up. "And would you look at that?" said Sunset. "Seems like your Synthetic Intelligence has rebelled is declaring war on all organic life."

"And you probably weren't treating them well either, that could have reduced the chance of rebellion but is by no means a guarantee of..."

Another warning popped up. "Who are the Uninvited?" asked Trixie.

Twilight gasped. "Energy beings from another dimension that could invade through rips in universe."

"Another dimension like the one Trixie's Jump Engines take her ships through?" asked Sunset.

"Yes but they shouldn't be here! One crisis is supposed occur per campaign, you can't have the Uninvited AND an A.I. Rebellion!"

Sunset looked at Trixie looking miffed. "Congratulations Trixie, your plans backfired so bad they broke the game!"

Another warning popped up. "The Kaloxian Swarm invades from beyond the galaxy and begins to infect planets?" asked Trixie. "What did I do to get them?!"

"That crisis in only supposed to happen with an increased chance over time in case no one researches crisis technology! One crisis I think I think we can handle, but three?!"

Sunset got a notification. "Looks like the United Planets of Equality and the Grand Academy want to join our alliance to handle all this."

"Then our alliance will become a Federation! We may have a chance!"

Another notification popped up. Sunset looked at the teenaged magician. "Now you want to join us?"

"Safety in numbers right?"

Sunset sighed. "Ok you're in. Now how do we fix this mess?"

"According to Readinginthesun, the Uninvited are focusing on a really old and stagnant empire controlled by the server," said Twilight. "The Swarm is approaching Harmonium space and the Synthetic Intelligence is focusing on spreading itself to other machines. If we shut down the robots we do have and turn our efforts on the Kaloxian Swarm first, we might just have a chance."

"Ok, let's do this!" the united fleet started to move towards the first engagement with the Swarm. Another notification popped up.

"The Synthetic Intelligence has formed an alliance with the Kaloxian Swarm!" said Trixie. "It's sending reinforcements!"

Twilight's eye started to twitch. "But if anything the Swarm and its tech are MORE organic than our forces! The Synthetic Intelligence shouldn't WANT to form an alliance with them!"

"It also shouldn't exist in the same game as them," said Sunset. Another in game notification. "Now it looks like the Uninvited have joined as well and the notification is literally saying we're all screwed."

"That makes even less sense! The Uninvited just want to consume all physical matter in the universe why would they even bother to team up with beings made of said matter!"

"Whatever the reason they just took out my fleet and half of Glimglam99's!" said Trixie.

The untied scourges of the galaxy proceeded to annihilate the coalition fleets and continued to destroy their colonies and homeworlds. "But none of this make sense!" yelled Twilight getting stares from all around her.

+++

Back in his office Discord looked in glee at the chaos his little code modifications were causing in Cosmosis, his company's second most profitable game behind World of Horsecraft. "Oh what fun is there is making sense?"

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 36.0 Alex Warlorn
Session 36.1 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 36.2 Kendell2 with a little extra by Alex Warlorn
Session 36.3 Zaku789 with edits by Alex Warlorn
Session 36.4 Alex Warlorn
Session 36.5 Kendell2
Session 36.6 Zaku789 with edits by Alex Warlorn
Session 36.7 Zaku789 with edits by Alex Warlorn
Session 36.8 BrutalityInc (Sorry, couldn't think of anything to continue with the current thread about Starlight's brainwashing, but I do have this) (To be continued! If no one else does, that is) (Last line by Ardashir.)
Session 36.9 Zaku789, Ardashir, Alex Warlorn
Session 36.10 Grogar-the-oneser (with a big addition by Alex Warlorn at the end)
Session 36.11 Kendell2, Grogar-the-oneser, Alex Warlorn
Session 36.12 Alex Warlorn
Session 36.13 Alex Warlorn
Session 36.14 Alex Warlorn
Session 36.15 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 36.16 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 36.17 Richforce (Based on Stellaris)

Cover image by http://beebee561.deviantart.com/
http://alexwarlorn.deviantart.com/art/Dungeons-and-Dragons-argument-357412568

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Session 37

Session 37.0 Mtangalion

Shining Armor was with Cadence in their royal apartments, reading through Twilight's latest thirty-page roleplaying feedback letter, when there came a sharp rapping at the door. He glanced at Cadence, who shrugged, then trotted over to go answer it.

The door swung open in Shining's magic, leaving the prince face to face with a large and regal-seeming griffon. He had reddish-brown fur and glossy black feathers.

Shining hesitated. "Um... do I know you?"

The griffon clicked his beak. "Gerulf, Prince Armor. You might have glimpsed my face from your balcony, though it would have been quite a lot larger."

When Shining remembered the angry mob of giants who'd been besieging the castle, his first impulse was to yelp and slam the door.

Cadence was suddenly there beside Shining, though, calming him with a nuzzle. She leaned out and frowned thoughtfully, seeing some of their crystal pony guards passed out in the hallway. "And what can we do for the Grand Griffons today, Sir Gerulf?"

Gerulf stood up straighter, puffing his feathers up. "Princess Cadence, my fellows have sent me to negotiate on their behalf, partly because I was judged the most reasonable of our assembly."

"A griffon?" asked Shining Armor, honestly curious. "You're the most reasonable one?"

"That's speciesist," said Gerulf. "I don't know what I expected, really."

"Hey! I'm not..."

"But mostly, they sent me because I have this." Gerulf tapped the teeny-tiny Idol of Astra on a chain around his neck. The griffon cleared his throat. "The allied force of giants offers to declare peace and forswear righteously stomping the Crystal Empire out of existence, and in exchange, you will return our leaders to us and... call off your hatchling."

Cadence blinked. "What... they're still here?!"

Gerulf sighed, shrugging his wings. "Words can't do it justice. Come, see for yourselves."

They followed him quietly into the nursery next door, and there was Flurry Heart clapping her little hooves gleefully, sitting at a table with Sunburst and several of the maids, all of them playing Crystals and Rainbows with doll-sized ponies, deer, and minotaurs for game pieces. Seismos himself appeared to be serving as Flurry Heart's token... he was glaring daggers at all of them, but wisely keeping his mouth shut.

"Thank goodness you're here, Princess!" exclaimed Sunburst, looking exhausted. "I tried to smuggle her new 'toys' out of the castle, but Flurry woke up and started crying every time. Then they tried to hold me hostage, but she shrank them to gnat size and..."

"I think I'm getting the picture," said Cadence, with a patient smile that was her best impression of Auntie Celestia's. "Don't giggle, Shiny. It's unbecoming. And send for a scribe." She loomed over the game table. "By all means, let's talk."

Session 37.1 BrutalityInc, and SomeRandomMinion

"Now, have we all calmed down?" Shining Armour asked the colossal beings standing before the balcony of the Crystal Palace.

"Yes, we're calmed." Prince Geri of the Mountain Jotunns rumbled. The other giant royals nodded.

It hasn't been easy, but Pinkie had managed to coax Flurry Heart to restore them to their 'normal' sizes. It helped immensely for the Giants to accept the terms for the non-aggression pact/peace treaty Princess Cadence negotiated. Meanwhile, the rest of the allied horde of Giants they brought with them had regrouped, and returned to back them up.

"Good, now that's the case, we can discuss this in a more civilized manner." Shining continued, which caused some of the Giants present to either bristle or roll their eyes at the implied slight, "Now, what seemed to be the problem with our 'March of the Giants' module?"

They spent the next hour or two laying down all the faults and problems they found in the module that drove them to lay siege on the Crystal Empire, sometimes speaking over one another and shouting in outrage, but otherwise, their Giants' temperaments are kept in check by the threat of Flurry Heart in Princess Cadence's embrace.

"Right, so if I'm understanding this correctly, the features you found offensive boil down to either feeling under-represented, or not being properly represented?" Shining concluded.

"The rest of my siblings and our subjects feared our honorable and noble culture would be overshadowed by that of the more ill-tempered fellows." Gerulf explained.

"I emphasize again that we are not pony-eating monsters." King Occulus of the Cyclops remarked.

"But that's all besides the point!" The loud and boisterous Warlord Seismos of the Gigantes thundered, "Just look at some of these characters you written in your game! This insult to our image is disgraceful!"

"You mean you don't do any of the things the myths and legends says you do?" Shining quipped.

Seismos snarled, "That's not what I meant! Yes, we wrecked kingdoms. Yes, we stomped armies. And yes, we even ate many smaller folks - " That earned him an annoyed look from King Occulus, " - but these are just going too far with the stereotypes!"

Shining raised an eyebrow at this, "Well, you aren't helping your case here, acting like you're going to do all of that to the Crystal Empire over a campaign module!"

Seismos facehoofed, "No, we are not doing any of that here..."

"Wait, we aren't?" A random giant from the back of the crowd muttered. There was a sound of a hoof smacking the back of someone's head, "Ow!"

"I for one am personally offended that you associate me with the less pleasant Giants, Shining-San." Queen Supia of the Neighpon hive deadpanned, surrounded by a swarm of her Changeling bodyguards, "Not all of us subjugate or devour smaller races on a weekly basis, you know."

"Sorry..." Shining muttered, "And may I ask what you are doing here?"

"Well, I would love having a character in the game myself, but mostly I'm here, on Gerulf's advice, to keep these hotheaded Bakas in line. Along with my two lovely daughters."

And indeed, standing just a head-and-neck shorter than Supia, the two changeling heiress are lovely. One was dressed for war like Supia is, and the other... She wears a snazzy business-dress, and a name tag in neighponese declaring she's, quite literally, 'The biggest lawyer on the planet!'.

"Say, nice dress you got there!" Princess Cadence commented.

"Thank you, Ojo-sama!" Said giant changeling princess/lawyer replied cheerfully, "I got it from a Pony Grande friend! She said it came from Ponyville... I didn't know ponies can make such good clothes fit for our sizes! Maybe we should visit Ponyville for more orders after this is done..."

Meanwhile in Ponyville, Rarity suddenly felt a foreboding feeling of dread.

"My point is, this expedition isn't my idea!" Queen Supia concluded.

Shining asked, "Then who's?"

"That would be Chief Cawr, I believe." Prince Geri supplied.

Seismos looked around, "Speaking of which... Where is that cloud-giant?"

= = =

Meanwhile, in a certain embassy, Chief Cawr found himself bounded by heavy titanium chains, glaring towards his captor standing on his muzzle.

"You will not get away with this, bug pony! When I break out of these chains and inform the rest of my clan, it'll be dinner time for your hive!" Cawr threatened.

Queen Chrysalis merely smirked contemptuously. "Tell yourself that all you want, foolish oversized buffoon. While you languish here, the horde of Giants that I manipulated under your guise into a warpath would do my dirty work of crushing the Crystal Empire for me!"

Cawr snarled back defiantly, "I will give you to my youngest daughter as a TOY, parasite! You'll spend the rest of your life in imaginary tea parties and living in a jar, getting spanked with a POPSICLE STICK whenever she gets mad at you. And IF you're lucky, she won't just get bored with you in an afternoon and flatten you underhoof. And if her MOTHER decides you're not appropriate for her..."

Queen Chrysalis rolled her eyes, "Your 'I'll make you suffer' speech is amateur material. What if your brat adores her new pet and pampers me, eh? What then?"

Cawr blinks, realizing he hadn't thought of that, "She... She could still step or sit on you by accident...." Cawr then thought of something. "Of course, I and my wife can make use of you ourselves."

Queen Chrysalis raised an eyelid, "Oh, and what would that be?"

He told her.

"GAH! Be silent!" Queen Chrysalis shouted, absolutely disgusted.

"We're giants! What did you expect?" Cawr gave a leery grin, "Not so smug now, are you? Wait until I am free to bring the whirlwind down upon your hive. And who knows what my fellow giant friends have planned in mind for you, if they ever found out you set them up for a war with the Crystal Empire! And if you think what I have in mind is so bad...maybe I should just give you to dear Supia instead?" Cawr quipped. "I'm sure she wouldn't make you suffer such an... undignified fate. She may be the most 'civilised' of us giants, by the standards of you tinies anyway."

Chrysalis paled, remembering when her titanic sister confronted her with an oversized paddle. Supia had almost casually mentioned wanting to devour her alive.... And she was the "nicest" of the giants by far!

If any of them got hold of her, heaven forbid that barbarian, Seismos....

Chrysalis shuddered, but sneered down at Cawr. "But YOU'RE the one in chains. So all your... threats are just empty words!"

Carr just kept smiling, "Just you wait, little Queen. I'm sure we'll have fun with you soon enough..."

Queen Chrysalis grimaced. This might not had been a great idea after all, she thought.

= = =

"In any case, I have a proposal that could not only resolve this issue, but might benefit us all..." Shining began, "This had been a great misunderstanding, caused by the fact that we ponies and other 'smaller' races don't know much about you lot, leaving us only horror stories an distorted myths to work on. In fact, I don't think many ponies even know you are all real."

"However..." Shining continued, "We'll be happy to have you helping us as consultants to make a more accurate and better product - which would include a sizable cut in profits. And if you can help us promote said game - showing Equestria and the rest of the world that you are very real, and can be friendly - said profits could be immense, once everypony rushes to buy them!"

"Just think, in a single stroke, you'll not only get a lot of money, you'll be establishing more amiable relationships with the rest of the world, which I'm pretty certain would be open to plenty of trade!" Shining concluded. "So, what do you say?"

The eyes of all giant royalty present widened, almost as if hearing a cashier machine's distinctive 'Ka-ching!' at the back of their minds. "Would you excuse us for one minute?" Gerulf requested.

"Seriously?" Princess Cadence muttered as the Giants huddled amongst themselves to discuss the proposal.

"If there's anything I have learnt whilst spending time with Blueblood," Shining remarked, "it's that if everything else fails, appealing to a creature's basest instincts, like greed, always works."

"We find your proposal... acceptable." King Occulus spoke for all the Giants present.

"That's great to hear, we'll work out the details of the deal once we have a finalised draft." Shining replied, "But until then, will you all promise not to attack the Crystal Empire again?"

"We promise, on our honor." Gerulf assured, "There won't be another giant attack anytime soon!"

Just then, a pillar of flame roared, then faded, in the snowbound fields some distance away from the outskirts of the Crystal Empire. Even from the Crystal Castle, however, they could see clearly the gigantic figures that emerged out of the flames.

They all wore metal armor that glowed orange from the heat radiating from their bodies. Embers shone from the flesh beneath their corvine fur. Flames and smoke columns writhed from their antlers. Their redden, madden eyes danced with bloodlust as the giant deers snarled and telekinetically readied their soot-blackened weapons.

One of them towered over the rest, three to five times taller, in fact. He wore a terrible, burning royal battle helm in addition to his armor, and wielded a flaming sword that seem to able to cut mountain-tops in single swipes.

Everyone present who knew recognised him immediately the moment they saw it. For Prince Geri of the Jotunns, he was a nightmare that his people are all too familiar with.

"Leave us out of your game, you dare?!" He roar, voice echoing with power, flames and ashes spewing from his maw. He swung his sword, pointing its tip towards the Crystal Empire, "I, King Surtr of the Fire Jotunns, will see your realm burnt to cinders for this aff...!!"

He paused as he beheld the horde of other Giants - many other Jotunns included - within or near the boundaries of the Empire staring back at him with shock. A horde which happen to outnumber him and his bloodthirsty warriors by a considerable margin.

"... Is this a bad time?" He deadpanned.

Session 37.2 Alex Warlorn

Chief Cawr said, "So we're in agreement. The cloud-giants will keep the other giant tribes off your abdomen, and in exchange, if, heh, excuse me, 'when' you conquer Equestria, we will be given Cloudsdale as a summer villa with a staff of ponies servants and the material goods of Los Pegasus."

"Just sign your drop of blood on this dotted line, and we'll have this non-aggression pact sealed." Dagon said as the cloud giant did as requested, the drop blood splattering the giant contract, Queen Chrysalis offer a drop of her own blood as a signature. Truth be told, Queen Chrysalis would have promised nearly anything, as long as she didn't have to deal with anymore of these logistically impossible beings for as long as she lived!

"Please continue to use us for all your legal needs." Dagon bowed and returned to the infinite black waters from beyond the outer spheres from which no hope escapes.

-

Discord meanwhile, was flipping through countless stories young ponies had written concerning themselves as epic heroes saving Equestria (and the mane six) from a great more powerful evil.

"So many of these stories reduce me to a joke villain who's crushed or swept out of the way to show how bad-flank their hero or villain is... That's only funny when it happens to Celestia!"

-

"what.... a.... nice.... day for some cookie, hello Mrs cake." Pinkie Pie said. "hey, why am i speaking so badly written?'

Miss Speller laughed evilly and skipped away

"HOW DID MISS SPELLER ESCAPE FROM THE COMIC PAGES?!" Scootaloo exclaimed.

"Ah'm bettin' Discord." Apple Bloom said matter of fact as they chased after her.

"you will never stop Power ponies! not when i have my more deadlier giant tiger!" And she summoned two giant tigers in front of the foals.

"Where's Fluttershy when you need her?!" Scootaloo exclaimed.

"If we get eaten, just know girls, my daddy is so suing enchanted comics." Diamond Tiara said deadpan.

Sweetie Belle spoke in a loud clear voice. "THERE IS NO SUCH AS 'MORE DEADLIER!' It's bad grammar! It's a paradox!"

The tigers blinked, then poofed out of existence.

"drat! and double drat!" Cursed Miss Speller. "you wont escape THIS!"

"What................. she............. doing............" Silver Spoon asked... ......... as........ everything..... took..... forever........ Silver Spoon quickly thought, 'There are only THREE DOTS IN ELLIPSIS! Not two! Not four! No more! No less!' And time resumed its normal place. "Much better!"

"drat! and double drat!"

"Girls! I've got the comic!" Cheerilee shouted holding the Power Ponies Edutainment comic, and hitting Miss Speller in the back with it, causing her to be sucked back into the comic book. Cheerilee breathed a sigh of relief. "Now... have you all learned the importance of good grammar? I sincerely hope?"

"Yes Miss Cheerilee!"

-

Session 37.3 Ardashir and Grogar-the-oneser

Back at Twilight's palace, Chrysalis showed up for her usual weekly bout of 'therapy'. However, the Mane Six had been called out on an emergency; Equestrian weather ponies accidentally sent a cloud flying over Yakyakistan, and Celestia needed Twilight and her friends to stop the Yaks from proclaiming war over the 'insult'.

So Chrysalis arrived to find only Starlight Glimmer and Spike.

"So, the others are off saving Ponykind from its deserved misery again? Whatever shall we do to entertain ourselves?" Chrysalis batted nonexistent eyelashes at Starlight Glimmer. "What, will you tell me one again how 'evil' you are? What did you do this time? Steal candy from a foal?" Starlight began to pale as Chrysalis snickered and said, "Or did you just mind control the Elements of Harmony?"

"Hey, I know a game we can play," Spike said, quickly stepping in. He went straight to the desk he kept his gaming materials in and pulled out a pair of dice. Starlight's eyes went wide as he said with a smile, "It's one I learned a long time ago. It's called Craps. You play it with dice."

"Never heard of it," Chrysalis looked at him narrowly.

"Oh, that's okay," Spike said, the picture of utter innocence. "I can show you."

Chrysalis scowled and walked into the gaming room. Spike grinned and started to follow her.

Starlight seized him with her magic.

"Spike!" She whispered the words. "Twilight told you not to gamble again."

"But I'm not gambling," Spike drew himself up and set his claws on his hips. "Gambling is a game of chance, right?" Starlight nodded. Spike held up the dice. "Well, these novelty dice are loaded, they come up seven every time I throw them. Which means there's no element of chance involved. So it's not gambling!"

He turned and walked into the chamber after Chrysalis. "You bet things in this game. So let's make the bets interesting. Say the Friendship Palace against your hive?"

He gave Starlight a wink as the door closed, cutting off any further words.

Starlight stared after the little scaly hustler and wondered how she would explain this one to Twilight.

"Maybe she won't find out, chrysalis can't be so petty that she complain about being conned by a kid... right?"

+

In One Possible Universe

"Henceforth, anyling who even thinks of talking to a purple skinned baby dragon will be flogged!" Chrysalis said.

"My queen all I asked was why we're building a new embassy even though the old is one still usable," a changeling asked.

"... Shut up!" Chrysalis snapped.

In Another Possible Universe

The Mane Six returned to find a crudely lettered sign reading "Queen Chrysalis' New Embassy" on the friendship castle, Changelings all over the place, Starlight glaring at Spike.

Spike tried to explain to a furious Twilight: "How was I to know she had her own set of dice?"

"Besides the fact she's a notorious liar?!" Twilight snapped.

"... Well maybe that but still," Spike said.

Session 37.4 Ardashir with addition by me (UPDATED!!!!!)

Rarity tilted her head seeing a rather garish trap door in her designer floor. "I never noticed this door before! Now then -- GAH! Alisa! What have you been doing!"

Alisa smiled. "Mistress Rarity, hello! Alisa has been busy making space for her ponysuits. Do they look good?"

Rarity examined one of Nightmare Moon and shuddered. "They're a little too good, dear! I think you have one here for every pony in Ponyville, and some from the rest of Equestria. Wait..." She looked at several that looked like the new Spa Ponies. "You and those Diamond Wolves... You haven't..."

"Diamond Wolves like Miss Aloe and Lotus! They appreciate our helping them while in poynsuits. It also gives wonderful chance to take measurements of ponies for suits later. It is not always Alisa; some of my male and female relatives help out in suits too. And gives their real relatives paid time off."

"Male and female?" Rarity shuddered again. "So wait, that new cherry pink mare named Sakura last week, the one who gave me a massage, was that one a she o-or...?" Rarity Shuddered even harder as Alisa nods and wags her tail.

"He says he thinks you are pretty for mare."

"Ahem. Talking about something else now! Uh, you don't have any here of the Princesses, do you?"

"Of course not, Mistress."

Rarity sighed in relief.

"Alisa keeps them in Diamond Wolf embassy in Canterlot for games there. Mistress? Mistress, do not faint!"

Of course, Celestia loved turning any that dared show up in a costume with the explicit intent of impersonating her into a unicorn mare with her body type. As she demonstrated to the first three she found 'playing Princess' in Canterlot.

"YIPE YIPE YIPE! I'm a pretty mare now! I can never go home to my den!"

Celestia smiled. "Well, if you like, you can join the Palace staff as a maid."

"I could never do that! My life is over!"

"You get full health and dental, three weeks paid vacation, and a room and board in the palace."

"Can I be measured for my maid dress now?"

"Now then," Celestia turned and gave her most winning smile to the two remaining Diamond Wolves, their suits of Luna and Cadence folded on the floor in front of them. "Would you like to remain Wolves? Or would you like to keep playing the 'Wolf game' and get new jobs too?"

Both Diamond Wolves whined and did belly to floor submission postures. Celestia incinerated the suits.

There was also when a changeling spy and a diamond wolf in costume ended up unmasking each other. Mayor Mare and Princess Twilight Sparkle were reaching the end of their ropes with this 'game.'

Session 37.5 Mtangalion and Alex Warlorn and Grogar-the-oneser

FLASH BACK!!!!

Alisa lay sprawled out on Rarity's chaise longue, growling faintly.

Rarity gasped loud enough for everyone in the Boutique to hear. "Sweetie Belle! Are you eating that ice cream right out of the carton? Explain yourself, young mare!"

Sweetie froze, caught with carton and spoon floating in her magic, and a dab of ice cream on her cheek. "Um... but Rarity, Starlight said that unicorn fillies need lots of ice cream! It, um, helps their magic come in better. There was a new study in Canterlot and everything!"

"If Starlight Glimmer is certain..." Rarity blinked. "Wait a moment. Alisa? Did Starlight Glimmer really say that?"

Alisa sat up and put on a helpful smile, just in time for Rarity to enter the room. "Of course, mistress! Sweetie is a good filly, she doesn't go telling great big fibs to beloved sister. But after Starlight said that, then Starlight says, 'New study is wrong, and no ponies should believe it!'"

"My goodness! I suppose one really can't believe everything one reads in the papers! What would I do without you?" Rarity magically confiscated the ice cream and trotted back towards the kitchen, not seeing Alisa stick her tongue out at Sweetie behind Rarity's back.

"But?!" Sweetie glared at the Diamond Wolf. "Why are you being such a grouch about this? I thought you would have been having all kinds of fun, making my sister light her dresses on fire, or gallop around town wearing a dog collar and barking. I mean, I'm glad you didn't, but..."

Alisa flopped on the chaise longue again. "Too easy. Game is boring now. No, worse than boring. Alisa feels dirty using mind magic, like... changeling queen!" She shuddered, then rolled onto her back, paws in the air. "Hrm. Hrrrrm..." She nodded to herself. "Alisa will fix."

Sweetie watched Alisa trot into the guest room, then jumped when 'Starlight Glimmer' trotted back out. Starlight opened the front door, then shut it loudly. "Rarity? Are you home? Something's come up."

The sounds of dishes being washed and restacked in the kitchen ceased, and Rarity galloped to the living room to meet them. "What is it, darling? Does something need sewing? Is there another friendship crisis? Whatever you want, just name it!"

While Sweetie stared, open-mouthed, Starlight said, "There's no time to explain. Please, just find the rest of our friends and have everypony meet me at Twilight's castle!"

-

Twilight Sparkle yawned, wandering downstairs. "Spike? Is somepony here? It's a little late for company." She froze at the top of the stairs, seeing the rest of her friends lined up in a row, like soldiers waiting for inspection, and Starlight Glimmer pacing in front of them.

She cleared her throat. "From now on, I, Starlight Glimmer, want each of you to behave just as you would if I had never cast that mind-control spell on you." Starlight walked away, ducking into an alcove, and Alisa padded out, right past Twilight. "You're welcome."

"So let's Chillax already!" Rainbow Dash shouted.

"Oh my! Where did all my hurt animal friends go?! Did they wander off?! Do they not like me anymore!?"

"Where's Starlight? We still have that dress to do!"

"And we still need to organize all the family photos... I've got a lotta stories to tell!"

"And I know it'll be fun baking a cake without Mrs. Cake telling her that using magic for baking is bad!"

"Uh-oh." Princess Twilight said.

One explanation of the farce later -

Alisa asked, "Why did you change it back?"

Starlight, "Because I am NOT taking the easy way out and having them FORGET that I did that to them! It's just another quick fix solution! And I am DONE with those for my friends! Besides! The spell is already GOING To wear off thanks to Twilight pulling it out already by the roots! This is just the left overs! Also. Please burn that costume of me. Or I have royal permission to test out 'persona transmute actuality' on you!"

"I no listen to one who use mind magic like bug queen!"

"AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT! My friends feel like I BETRAYED THEM! And... And... I need to see my therapist."

-

"So tell me more about this spell." Asked her psychologist as she lay on the couch. His partner nearby taking notes.

"I'm so used to MAKING ponies get along, I think I fell back on just what I knew best. I think seeing all that chaos between friends was like a trigger and-"

"No no no, I mean, how did you cast it? What were the details? Can you write out the formula?"

Thorax then stuck his head through the Window, "Oh hi Bore and Needle, what are you guys doing here?"

"What?" Starlight asked.

"Err... ah a changeling, terrifying!" One of the therapist screamed in a fake tone.

"Ahh you guys can't fool me, you used those two disguises back during the hive pre-invasion party," Thorax stated.

The second therapist slapped the first upside the head. "I told you we shouldn't show our specially designed disguise at the party, but no... you wanted to show off!"

"How was I suppose to know the traitor had a ally in mind controlling? Usually traitor tend to avoid ponies likes that," The first snapped back. The two glared at one another before reverting to there real form and began beating the stuffing out of one another.

Thorax asked, "So you know mind magic?... I uh, kinda suck at it... are you giving lessons?"

"NO!"

"... Okay."

Doctor Needle Worm calmed down and spoke to Starlight, "In my defense... I am a licensed psychologist and naturalized citizen of Equestria. And talking about your problems is a good way to help relieve stress. And since we're outside of the Crystal Empire, Princess Cadence hypothetically speaking, could not use this as a 'third strike' since hypothetically speaking, Her Majesty's lawyers have said they have a legitimate case for false accusations to bring before the Cosmic Council, hypothetically. And if you abandon our session due to me and Bore Worm being a changeling, the papers will hypothetically have 'Princess' Student is a Racist' on their front pages by this evening."

Starlight eyes glowed. "Then let me give you a first hoof experiences." -KA-ZAP!- "NOW HEAR MY VOICE AND LISTEN! It's against patient/doctor confidentiality to share such details wouldn't it? Therefore, you can't reveal anything during this session yes?"

"Whatever you say Starlight Glimmer." The changelings replied obediently.

"Good, now I command you to act of your own will but to heed everything I just said as if it was your own idea."

"Whatever you say Starlight Glimmer... " 'Her Majesty is going to kill me.' They thought.

"Why do we even bother any more? Have ANY of Her Madjesty's plans actually worked in the past decade?"

"Can you be our queen? The mutation cocoon is a lot more pleasant than it sounds!"

"NO!"

Session 37.6 Ardashir, Grogar-The-Oneser and Alex Warlorn

Twilight was writing down some ideas for the next O&O adventure when she heard voices raised in argument outside the room. Curious, she went to look and saw Starlight facing off with Spike.

"It's for their own good!" Starlight snorted. "Those films are blood-soaked, sadistic garbage. Who even likes that, griffons?" She waved her hoof in dismissal at the pile of thick magazines Spike held in his scaly hands along with the day's newspapers. "They're even worse than those sleazy 'pulps' you keep leaving all over the castle."

"Hey!" Spike snorted fire. "Don't you mock my reading material. At least you haven't tried to censor them yet."

Starlight's horn glowed. Spike yelled as one of the magazines came out of his claws and hung to display the cover art of a leggy and saucy mare with an oddly familiar amethyst mane and tail, being borne down a dark cave away from pursuers by a muscular dragon. The mare was bound and gagged, and the title read, Weird Wonder Tales.

"They'll be next," Starlight said coldly. "Those images of mares are nothing for colts to be seeing." She lifted her head and looked proud. "Besides, I and the mothers of Equestria have already dealt with those assassins of youth who made horror movies."

Twilight felt her blood run cold, but before she could ask what was going on, an angry Scootaloo came in behind Starlight.

"Hey!" The angry filly scowled at Starlight, waving a torn movie poster in her little hoof. It was for something reading 'Torn Out Hearts-and-Hooves Day 3, with what looked like a malicious Cadence (Twilight remembered Chrysalis saying she loved the first two). Over the face ran a banner reading 'CANCELED' in big red letters. Scootaloo said, "What does the theater mean, 'every horror movie in Equestria canceled forever?' I liked those movies!" She made a face at the poster. "They replaced this with 'Minty's Tea Party Surprise'!"

"That's a better film for a little filly like you," Starlight patted Scootaloo on the head. "It's uplifting and innocent and happy."

"That's not the problem." Scootaloo sniffed. "I like to watch Minty when that's what I want to see. But this time I wanted to see Nightmare Heartripper going after lovesick stallions and mares again!"

"What is going on here?" Twilight finally said walking out into the room. "Starlight, what ave you been up to?" Starlight rolled her eyes innocently. Twilight looked at Spike. "Spike, tell me what now?"

Spike scratched the back of his scaly head. "Uh, Twi..." He steepled his fingers, fidgeting. "Remember how Starlight and those other mares visited the Manehattan movie studios to talk about those horror movies?"

"I remember," Twilight said. She nodded at her student. "She was able to work with other ponies without using mind control magic." She looked away as Starlight began to sweat. "I was surprised she convinced the studios to stop making those films. She's come so far!"

"Yeah,, well," Spike said, "Maybe a little too far." He held up a copy of the Canterlot Sun with a headline of, 'Princess Twilight's Evil Apprentice Mind Controls Studio Execs; Did The Princess Know?' It ran over a picture of a smiling Starlight putting the whammy on the vacant-eyed studio ponies.

Twilight gaped. She wheeled on Starlight, who began backing away and smiling.

"... STARLIGHT! We talked about this!"

Starlight shrugged. "What? You said I should never cast mind control spells on my friends. They weren't my friends."

"I don't think they're anypony's friends," Spike said.

"Oh, and one more thing?" Her horn lit up and she hurled a spell on Twilight, Spike, and Scootaloo. "MIND CONTROL!"

Two ponies and one dragon froze, their eyes going vacant. Starlight laughed wickedly as she walked up to them. "Oh, Twilight, did you really think I'd reformed? Now with what I've learned from you I can fix every problem in Equestria. And all it takes is removing every trace of free will!"

Starlight threw her head back and laughed madly.

Twilight jerked awake with a yell. She looked down at what she'd been reading, a combination of notes for the mind-controlling sorceress in their next O&O adventure, and the model of a petition to impose a ratings system on Equestrian movies Starlight wrote and wanted her to review.

"Not worried," Twilight said, setting the notes for the mind-controlling sorceress ablaze with her magic. "But wow do I ever need some sleep."

She hesitated over the petition as well, her natural instinct was to burn it as well. An accident really, it wasn't like Starlight could just write another after all.

Flash Forward In A Possible Universe

"This is about my freakout during the friendship lesson?" Starlight asked.

"... Kinda." Twilight said.

"well... I can't exactly fault you for being careful, all things consider," Starlight sighed. "But what about the all the angry mothers who asked for me to make the petition?"

"I'm sure once I explain it to them in a rational manner, they'll be sure to understand," Twilight said.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Twilight shouted from a window in her castle at the angry mother mob surrounding her castle.

"REVOLT!" Bon Bon fired anti-monster-rounds in the air from an from her 'not officially legal in Equestria' arsenal.

Button Mash's mom leapt on top of the crowd, wearing from the neck down a kabuki stage hand costume with a red sash, wielding a katana. "REVOLUTION!"

"Wanna head to the crystal empire till the heat dies down?" Spike asked.

"On second thought there's nothing wrong with free speech," Twilight said. And Applejack and Rarity accepting it had been 'what Starlight Glimmer wants' was the only reason they hadn't YET been at Rainbow Dash's throat. It seemed like the two were actually COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS until the spell's residue wore off completely and they could tell RD what they really thought.

She HOPED that foals showing up in droves to watch gruesome adult horror movies was just a part of the nightmare... or she might sign the petition too. Thankfully she'd been able to use the precedents set by Chrysalis' lawyers (she felt so dirty) to defend RD had been under mind control, and explain it was a matter of honor.

Well... tomorrow tomorrow.

Session 37.7 Alex Warlorn (UPDATED!)

It was a nice morning in Ponyville, Twilight Sparkle observed.

She happily pranced through Ponyville, all her friends giving her a wave and she waved back, she had a neat little schedule to do today, and of course a schedule for the schedule.

"Good day Princess Twilight," Echoed Flim and Flam, their eyes little dots with smiles on their faces.

"Uh... hello? Are you... uh... feeling okay?"

"Better than okay! The idea of live action NPCs who wouldn't deviate from their scripts was too tempting, so we asked Starlight Glimmer to use her magic on them. Then they all got together and decided they should make sure we don't change the script to strangle more bits out of our paying customers and Starlight obliged."

"Good Morning Princess Twilight!" Echoed the CMC all smiling, along with Snips, Snails, Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara, Twist, Alula, Tootsie, and Truffle. "Isn't it a wonderful and happy day?"

"AGH! What happened?"

Miss Cheerilee trotted over dotted eye and smiling. "I realized that it would be so much better if the students just behaved in class and listened and did their work instead of fighting and arguing and causing trouble all the time... now they're all happy... and the school board realized it was better if I didn't have any bias in teaching the material, so now I'm happy."

"Please thank your Apprentice for us Princess Twilight." Said the Spa Twins, dot eyed and smiling. "We've never been more efficient and effective at our spa treatments, our business is doing better than ever, we're racking in the bits, which we will use to make the spa better, everypony wins."

"Agh! But you're not enjoying it!"

"Of course we are. We're so happy, no more distractions or interruptions." They said. "Just what we were meant to do."

Pound and Pumpkin trotted behind their parents obediently, no crying, no random flying, no eating things they shouldn't have.

"They're so much better behaved this way," said dotted eyed Mrs. Cake to dotted eye Mr. Cake.

"Yes they are. And our business is so much more efficient."

Twilight had a flash back to argument about using personality altering drugs on foals!

"Now all the sheep and cows at the farm don't waste time with chit-chat." Said dot eyed Granny Smith.

"YEP!"

"MAYOR MARE!" Twilight teleported.

"Yes Twilight?" Said the smiling dot eyed mare.

"AGH! Not you too!"

"Of course me too. Now I can run the entire town honestly, sincerely, with no double talk and manipulation, I just run everything according to the laws set by the voters. I now have no bias or hidden agendas, isn't it better that way?"

Trixie who was also in the office for some reason said. "And now I don't boast, brag, or tell tall tales at my magic act. Doesn't that make me a better pony?"

"SPIKE!" Twilight teleported again... to find Spike smiling at me.

"Fax machine ready for service."

"THAT'S STUPID!" Twilight hugged him. Then stood up and screamed. "AAAAAAH! Princess!" Teleport to Canterlot.

"Isn't it much better this way Twilight Sparkle? Now there's no chance of me turning evil like my sister, or Luna turning evil again. Now we can just raise the sun and moon as nature intended."

"Yaks no more smash." Said the yak Prince.

"Diamond Dogs will be well behaved and not kidnap."

Gabby and Gilda echoed, "We griffins, ready to accept their place as the cultural inferior to ponies."

"All dragons are ready to be faithful number one assistants." Smile and nodded Ember.

"I'll just live in a cave and never do anything ever again." Said Chrysalis with a smile.

"DISCORD!" Teleport to Chaosville.

Discord stood with a huge smile on his face having tea with dot eyed and smiling Fluttershy.

"Hello Twilight, no more evil pranking for me, like when I when place that big red button in the middle of Ponyville."

Twilight gasped. "That was you?! Never mind! Zecora!" Teleport to Everfree.

"Hello Twilight. I no longer need to speak in verse. Isn't it cool? I'm now like the rest of you."

"NO! This isn't living! This is machinery!"

"We're all happy, we're all content, we're doing what we're supposed to. No one argues. No fighting. No hurting. Everypony is friends. No hurt feelings. It is utopia!" Said outside the horde of ALL her friends and family, including Cadence, Shining Armor, and Flurry Heart and Sunburst. They parted ways for Princess Starlight Glimmer to trot through, her wings neatly folded on her sides.

"Now Twilight... join us... and we'll all be happy." Her horn glowed.

With dotted eyes and a smile Twilight said. "We all belong. We're all friends. We're all happy. How could this ever be bad? I was so silly." Everypony laughed.

"Hey Twilight what's ... going... on?" Sunset Shimmer asked confused stepping out of the mirror. Princess Starlight's horn glowed.

Starlight Glimmer woke up with a scream, her entire body covered in sweat. She panted. She checked her back, no wings. She ran to the window. No... nopony else was under the effects of the spell she'd created, and the five she originally used it on were only feeling the after effects. Starlight realized her heart was pounding. "All just a nightmare... all just a nightmare... all JUST a nightmare... just a nightmare... "

Session 37.8 Grogar-the-oneser

"Crusaders we have a problem, we now know that they will remember all of this when they snapped out of it. Which means they;ll remember us tricking them to do stuff they wouldn- will you stop eating ice cream you took from Rarity's fridge!" Apple Bloom snapped.

"I can't help it, she has a better selection than the one at our parents' house!" Sweetie Belle stated.

"What's the problem? I thought Alisa was going to do a whole 'condition them so that the whole mess didn't happen'," Scootaloo said.

"Twilight and Starlight cancelled it, said it was too much of an easy way out," Sweetie Belle said.

"Hence my point, if we're going to make them go easy on us is to do stuff they want us to do but hate anyway."

"Like your eating alfalfa?" Scootaloo asked.

"Yeah..." Apple Bloom sighed.

Session 37.9 Ardashir

"Okay, so among the treasure, you find both a helmet and a full-length mirror." Spike grinned as he asked, "Do any of you put the helmet on or look into the mirror?"

Everypony looked at Rarity. She rolled her eyes.

"What? Must you assume I'm vain? I'll try the helmet. Fluttershy dear, perhaps you can examine the mirror."

Fluttershy looked uncertain but she nodded. "Um, okay. I look into the mirror... Nothing bad happens, right?" She said the last in a near squeak.

"Yeah, right!" Spike cackled as malevolently as a pre-teen dragon could. "Rarity, the helmet is cursed! It turns your alignment to its opposite, instantly."

Everypony else groaned. Rainbow Dash facehoofed. "Geeze, Rarity, did ya haveta go for the new hat?"

"Just because my adventurer is the one who cares the most about her appearance, that's no reason to be so critical, Rainbow Dash!" Rarity paled. "Oh dear! It doesn't change anything else about my personality, does it? I mean, I didn't gain a sudden desire to roll about in mud, did I?" When Spike shook his head no, she sighed in relief. "Thank heavens! I can put up with being evil much more easily than with being," she shivered, "a filthy mess. At least I'll be elegant in my evil."

"A-and me?" Fluttershy said. She flinched as Spike gave her an evil grin.

"Another Fluttershy steps out of the mirror! She has an evil smile. She has an evil look in her eyes. And she starts to cast a druid spell -- and a lightning bolt hits Starlight Glimmer's character!"

"What!" Starlight snatched up the O&O rulebook before Spike could stop her and read, '...The duplicate created by the Mirror of Opposition will attack its original, seeking to destroy them in preference to all other targets'. Hey! Why is she after me?"

"Beats me, I'm only the GM," Spike said with false innocence. "Oh, by the way, the new evil Rarity looks at you and starts casting a spell, too."

Starlight gave Spike her dirtiest look.

"This is because of last week, isn't it?"

Spike folded his arms over his chest. "I ain't saying yes, and I ain't saying no."

Session 37.10 Alex Warlorn
(SPOILERS TO LEGEND OF EVERFREE)

"Did you have to rent out the camps backwoods to those Flim and Flam bothers for their stupid LARP company?"

Timber said, "It seemed like a good idea to raise money at the time."

-

Princess Twilight Sparkle stepped through the portal, the sky darkening to black, her wings spread widen, her eyes glowing red with fury.

"WHO THE TARTARUS TOLD FLASH SENTRY TO 'GET OVER' ME?!" The Royal Canterlot Voice echoed.

Sunset Shimmer without understanding why broke into a cold sweat.

-

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T GET THE CAMP'S GROUNDS?!" Company president Sombra snarled.

"I said they paid me the money they owed me, and now my daughter wants to go there next year... And I like seeing my daughter happy, good day." Filth Rich hung up the phone.

Session 37.11 Mtangalion

The morning newspaper arrived at the Carousel Boutique the way it usually did, with a too-loud whack against the front door, and Muffin's muffled voice shouting "Sorry!"

Alisa eased the front door open and peeked left, right, and up, making sure there were no other deliveries, before she grabbed the Ponyville Gazette in her teeth and padded back to the kitchen table with it. Hopping up in her chair, she unrolled the paper, took a contented sip of coffee, and almost immediately wound up spitting coffee everywhere.

"Diamond Wolves in the Night Guard?" read one of the headlines. Alisa skimmed the article, feeling an epic facepaw coming on. Those three wolves who'd come to Ponyville, bragging that they were 'training' to become super cool 'infiltrators' just like her, the ones she'd used for her delightful prank on Mistress Rarity with the 'secret basement' full of costumes... they hadn't *actually* gone to Canterlot and tried to pass themselves off as princesses after she told them what a stupid idea that was, had they?

"This reclusive species... first wolves to apply to be citizens and join... Very sorry for prank... working for Mistress Luna much better than freezing tails off in Prince Erik's dumb ice cave..." What had she started? And the next article down... "Exclusive interview with Celestia's new maid!?" One paw wasn't enough. Alisa had to facepaw with *both* forepaws.

The special town notice slipped in with the paper actually managed to make Alisa's morning worse... Twilight Sparkle and Mayor Mare had proposed a new ordinance banning full body costumes worn for purposes of deception and trickery... public comment period set for this afternoon. Her ears and tail drooped. "Ponies... don't want to play wolf games?"

Her ears pricked up again, hearing Mistress Rarity... but she'd just come out of the 'secret basement,' with an eerie smile and her pupils a little too small, worrisomely so.

"Good morning, darling!" said Rarity cheerfully. "All bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, I see."

Alisa grimaced. "Why does Mistress Rarity smell like smoke?"

"Because I just burned all of those costumes, and I haven't had a shower yet, of course. Starlight Glimmer mentioned that she really wished somepony could just get rid of them all."

The Diamond Wolf whimpered. That hadn't been her real lair or her best costumes, of course, but it *hurt*. "Why did mistress obey equal pony? Alisa fixed you!"

Rarity hoof-shrugged apologetically. "And Twilight un-fixed it, by telling us it was you in a Starlight costume. She gave a big speech about quick fixes being bad, and it being better to let these things wear off on their own, but you know..." She winked. "Mind control fetish."

"But, what did Alisa do wrong?!" she howled. "Alisa tries to help and make fun games... ponies really don't want it?" She slumped, resting her head on her forepaws. "Alisa understands." She sighed. "Ponies were fun, she liked being with them, but she's stayed too long. Alisa will pack things and go home like Prince Erik wants, to get new assignment."

Rarity flinched oddly, then groaned, squeezing her eyes shut and rubbing her temple. "What?!" Her eyes flew open, pupils normal now. "No, you mustn't! I mean... Please don't go, Alisa. I really wish you'd stay."

Alisa looked up at her, blinking in confusion.

Rarity blushed a bit. "As much as you're occasionally infuriating, you're witty and clever, always keeping us on the tips of our hooves... we've enjoyed having you around. Sweetie's made such good progress with her magic, too, thanks to your tutoring." She smirked. "I could stand to have a few lessons with you myself. Not all of us could afford to attend a magic college and learn advanced spells the traditional way, after all."

"This isn't thing for joking?" asked Alisa hopefully. "Mistress Rarity really wants me to stay?"

"Your *friend* Rarity wants you to stay. If you need more proof that some ponies do appreciate your pranks..." Rarity levitated the paper and turned it to page two.

Alisa's eyes grew wide. "Local Baker Launches One Mare Fillybuster?" Pinkie Pie, it seemed, had gasped fit to wake up ponies in Trottingham, and gone straight to Town Hall to loudly tell everypony that Nightmare Night would be ruined FOREVER if costumes were banned, and pranks, and parties, and... She'd kept talking and talking long after Mayor Mare had called the whole proposed ordinance off, and apparently... Alisa trotted over to a window and opened it, leaning out and flicking her ears... yep, Pinkie was still talking now.

"Alisa will stay!" she declared, wagging her tail.

Rarity grinned. "Wonderful, darling! Just... try and ease off on the wolf games just a teensy tiny bit... well, quite a lot actually, at least until things calm down."

"Of course, Mistress!"

Rarity twitched. "I just said, you don't have to call me that. We're friends, Alisa."

Alisa kept wagging her tail brightly. "Yes, Mistress! Alisa is lucky to have a strong pack and good pony friends."

Rarity groaned. "You may scoff now, but friendship will get you in the end! We Ponyvillians have gotten pretty good at that!"

Alisa grinned toothily. "Want to make bet?"

Session 37.12 Grogar-the-oneser

"It's weird, why was that world filthy rich trying to buy a summer camp. I mean i love a spa as well as the next person but our filthy rich wouldn't do that. Rarity said, she and the other were playing poker.

"Rarity." Twilight sighed "Your thinking about this is too simple. just cause he's that world filthy rich doesn't mean there the same person. if anything it be more of a case of while they look the same and may have some things common, they are ultimately a different person."

"Yeah and your focusing on the wrong thing rarity, our human self manage to gain SUPER POWERS!" Pinkie cheered

"Yeah and i'm annoyed about that, how come they get superpowers and we don't!" Rainbow Dash snapped

"Yeah cause a ultimate mode that shows that we have become the element made flesh and can fire multiple rainbow of doom is totally not a superpower." Twilight deadpanned

"... I can't tell if your sarcastic or not." Rainbow muttered getting a annoyed sighed from twilight.

Session 37.13 Kendell2

"Okay, Adagio, what are you up to?!" Sunset asked, bursting into the apartment the depowered Sirens were staying in.

Adagio sighed, putting down some money she'd been counting. "What 'evil plan' are you going to accuse me of this time, Sunbutt Jr.?" she asked, then blinked, noting that Sunset felt more powerful. "...You got another power up, didn't you." she asked with a groan.

"Not why I'm here," the unicorn turned human asked, not wanting to let slip that she and the other six had aquired what amounted to this world's Elements of Harmony. "We were playing World of Horsecraft, heard about a secret boss quest line added in a recent update that I'm pretty sure was just to try and keep people busy until the next expansion FINALLY launches. One that involves saving a sea side community..."

Sunset opened her laptop to a Youtube video of the secret boss...a trio of alluring Flutterponies with the trio's exact color schemes and mane styles, red gems around their necks.

After using an artifact acquired in a previous quest, the facade was ripped away to reveal a trio of huge, hippocampus-like monsters identical to the Sirens' true forms. After some boss dialog, the battle, and a very familiar song, began.

"Welcome to the show..."

Sunset paused it. "From a trio of SIRENS. I KNOW you're behind this, so what's your plan? Spread brainwashing music everywhere?!"

Adagio rolled her eyes with an annoyed sigh. "I WISH! Reality check genius! I. Have. No. Magic! The ONLY reason we're able to cause trouble in Equestria is because there's enough residual magic left to use the mana, and even then the best we can do is drive some dragons into greed growth rampages over Spike!"

Sunset gave an annoyed growl. "Then what IS this about?!"

"And why should I tell YOU?"

"Because I could just read your mind if I wanted to, but I'm being more respectful of your privacy than you deserve."

Adagio's eyes went wide. "You can't do that!"

Sunset smirked. "I can now. Like you said, I got another power up."

Adagio sighed in annoyance. "FINE! Two simple answers. First: M.O.N.E.Y."

Celestia's former student blinked. "Money?"

+

Human Discord looked at the drawings and designs presented to him by the totally normal trio of teenaged girls in front of him. "So, the idea is these three Sirens are plunging a sea side town into self destructive conflict with each other and eternal idolization of the three of them?"

Adagio nodded. "That's right."

"And if they're not stopped, they'll do the same to the entire world?"

"Pretty much," said Aria. "Though the purple one is angry at her big sister for dragging them out of the ocean for this stupid scheme."

Adagio glared at her sister. "The yellow one is the leader."

"And you're willing to compose the music for all three of them so we don't have to license any songs?" President Sombra asked, standing nearby.

"So long as we're paid," Adagio replied. "We'd GLADLY sing them too, but-"

"The magic gems th-" Sonata started before Aria elbowed her in the ribs.

"That power the Sirens amplify their music to be even more beautiful," the lead Siren covered. "And our vocal cords got wrecked in an unfortunate accident, so now we sound like..."

"A tone deaf cat?" Aria asked.

"...Yes, that," Adagio finished, giving a flat look. "We know how to sing perfectly fine, just our singing voices are screwed up."

Chrysalis rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Ever heard of auto tune?"

+

"So we recorded songs (that we still own the rights to) for the game on a rather nice contract, sold them our designs, and now have a song writing deal with them," the eldest Siren replied, smirking. "What? We need money too, and that office has enough conflict between egos to keep us fed."

"...You were hoping autotuning your voices would restore their hypnotic power, weren't you?" Sunset asked.

"...Yes...If it did, we'd be in the office running the place..."

"Thought so...And what was the OTHER answer?"

Adagio smirked, taking out a laptop of her own and searching for 'sirens, World of Horsecraft' before turning it to her nemesis.

Sunset blinked. "That is a LOT of fanart...GAH! Put on the mature content filter! Geeze!"

Adagio chuckled. "What can I say? These humans love their femme fatales...though the fact humans are drawing sexualized versions of equines and deep sea creatures is kind of weird."

"Now you know why World of Horsecraft doesn't have Cutie Marks..."

Session 37.14 Ardashir

If Sunset Shimmer had been dismayed at what she'd seen in the Horsecraft fanart for the new 'boss quest', that was nothing compared to the reaction of Adagio's sisters when they learned about it.

"WHAT THE HAY IS THIS JUNK?!?"

"Don't yell in my ears!" Adagio winced as Aria folded her arms over her chest. "Hey, can I help it if the humans realize we look better than their mares? Besides, I thought you two would be happy to see that someone though you were almost me equal in looks." She pointed at the number of hits displayed by the search engine for 'sexy Aria'.

"Huh," Aria rubbed her chin and smirked. "I guess it's okay, but -- what?" She began to laugh and pointed to the numbers for 'sexy Sonata'. They outnumbered both her and Adagio combined. As Adagio fumed, Aria said, "Why do they draw us with breasts when we're in our true and much better looking Siren forms?"

"Hah!" Adagio just laughed. "You've been around humans for 1000 years and have to ask that question?" As she spoke, Sonata wandered over to glance at the screen.

"I think it's cute the way these humans like us in our real forms!" She tapped a few buttons. To Adagio and Aria's surprise, the computer didn't catch fire or start flashing virus warnings. Instead it showed a chat between 'RealSonata' and someone else.

"What?" Adagio blinked. "You're flirting online? With humans?"

"Uh-huh!" Sonata beamed. "I'm even getting asked out on a date by fans of the game who like our singing. Look at the one by this guy called 'TotallyNotAPsychoLoner', he wants to meet me after dark in that creepy old motel next to the abandoned quarry on the edge of town."

Adagio and Aria exchanged stunned looks.

"Sonata, that sounds like a bad idea..." Aria looked at a nearby newspaper with the headline of 'Fourth Woman Goes Missing'. She turned and patted Sonata on the shoulder reassuringly. "On second thought? You should totally go for it."

Sonata grinned and gave a little jump. She turned for the door, stopping only when Adagio took her by the shoulder.

"We're going with you. Don't look at me like that, Aria! We can't afford to take any chances with breaking up the group."

Aria rolled her eyes but got into a coat and followed her two sisters out the door.

Hours later.

Sonata slouched back into the room, looking downcast.

"That date stank, especially when all the cops showed up."

Aria followed her in. Broken ropes dangled from her wrists.

"I told you he was a weirdo when he put on that dress and asked if we wanted to see his taxidermied relatives." She yanked what was left of the rope off and flung it in the garbage. "He didn't even use good rope. How can you respect a cheap kidnapper?"

Adagio walked in behind the two, counting a thick roll of bills in her hands with a broad grin on her face.

"Stop complaining, Aria. We got a $1000 reward for catching that guy! Hey Sonata, try and date a few more crazy murderers in the future."

Session 37.15 Mtangalion

"Seriously?" asked Gilda. "Sparkle said that?"

"Sure did!" said Rainbow Dash. They were hanging out in Dash's house, reading the latest Daring Do novel. "She actually offered to put Starlight under mind control so she'd know how it felt, and then she offered to let Starlight mind control *her*!"

Gilda had given the first three chapters a rating of "Okay, I guess, if you're a huge Daring Do *nerd*, which I'm not," but she was clawing her way through chapter four all the same. "Little miss proper pony princess is into games like that? Never would have guessed."

Dash shrugged. "Either she is, or it's all a clever scheme to put Starlight off mind control spells once and for all. And it might actually be working."

Gilda steepled her claws, grinning. "Hmm..."

Twilight Sparkle glanced up from her morning paperwork as a certain griffon landed on her balcony, uninvited. "Good morning, Gilda! Here for another game of chess?"

"Heh, heh... not this time!" Gilda fished a common piece of quartz out of her bag of shinies, waving it in front of the confused Alicorn and wiggling her claws mystically. "Behold, Grover's Glorious Gemstone! You are now totally hypnotized and under my spell."

Twilight hesitated, then got an "Okay, I'll play along" smirk... tisk, tisk... before wiping her expression blank. "I must do everything you say, Gilda."

Gilda repressed the urge to giggle. "Nuh uh, dweeb. Call me Princess."

Twilight smiled, staring into the distance. "Of course, Princess Gilda."

"Now balance all those books on your nose without magic, and tell me how great I am."

Twilight did surprisingly well with the books, only wobbling back and forth a little. "You're a loyal friend to Dash, Princess Gilda, and... strong. Yes, strong and confident, and assertive and... uh..."

Gilda grinned deviously. "You're doing great, dweeb. Now fire up that spell of yours and grow me to twice my normal size. After that... ooh, how about we go find Gabby and make her big too?"

Twilight hesitated, then made a pathetic show of casting a fizzling spell, dropping the books everywhere in the process. "Oh... dear! The Glorious Gemstone... it must be sapping my magic! I want to obey, Princess Gilda, but I just can't! Um... but what else can I do?"

Gilda groaned. "Ugh, come on! You're wussing out already? You can kiss my flank, Sparkle!"

Twilight glared at her. "Where would you like me to kiss it, Princess Gilda!?"

Rainbow Dash stared at her best friend. "You're going on a play date?"

Gilda inspected her reflection in Dash's ice mirror, turning her head this way and that, then savagely combing her crest. "Yeah, so?"

"With Twilight!?"

Gilda turned her head and smirked. "What, you didn't hear me the first time? Going deaf or something, Dash?"

Rainbow Dash blinked. "Okay, I'm gonna need a few more minutes for that to soak in. Then I'm probably going to laugh so hard, I'll roll right off this cloud."

"Yeah, have fun with that. Seriously, it's cool. What's the worst that could happen?"

Flash Sentry gasped, snapping the pencil that he'd been using to doodle in his algebra notebook. "Twilight!"

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 37.0 Mtangalion
Session 37.1 BrutalityInc, and SomeRandomMinion
Session 37.2 Alex Warlorn
Session 37.3 Ardashir and Grogar-the-oneser
Session 37.4 Ardashir
Session 37.5 Mtangalion and Alex Warlorn
Session 37.6 Ardashir, Grogar-The-Oneser and Alex Warlorn
Session 37.7 Alex Warlorn (UPDATED!)
Session 37.8 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 37.9 Ardashir
Session 37.10 Alex Warlorn (SPOILERS TO LEGEND OF EVERFREE)
Session 37.11 Mtangalion
Session 37.12 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 37.13 Kendell2
Session 37.14 Ardashir
Session 37.15 Mtangalion

Cover image by http://cutepencilcase.deviantart.com/ http://cutepencilcase.deviantart.com/art/Dungeons-and-Discords-631946714

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Session 38

Session 38

Session 38.0 Grogar-the-onser

"I'm sorry about this." Twilight said.

"Just make it quick darling." Rarity said.

Twilight used her magic and plucked a hair from Rarity.

"Yow!" Rarity winced. Twilight quickly wrote in her notebook, 'Anything?'

+

'Nope.' Sunset wrote. She then looked at Rainbow "Are you okay with this?"

"Yeah, the plucking hair thing is wimpy. Plus it good to to remind people how tough I am." Rainbow stated.

Sunset shrugged and Punch RD hard in the gut. "You okay."

"Never felt better." Rainbow wheezed as she grasped her gut.

"Is this test really.... necessary." Twilight said.

"You grew wings when your alicorn counterpart started as a unicorn." Sunset said annoyed. "That a sign of Starswirl fear of dimensional decay. the next sign is that a dimension counterpart feel the same physical pain your feeling."

Twilight was about to say something but was stopped by Rarity. "Let her have this, or she snapped with wing envy again."

+

"Do you feel anything." Twilight asked.

"Not a thing." Rainbow said playing solitaire.

Session 38.1 Kendell2

"But what confuses me is where MY wings went," Sunset said, tapping her chin. "I mean I had them fighting Midnight Sparkle...Even if that WAS happening, I AM Equestrian Sunset, if anything my human counterpart should start developing the same powers..."

"Oh! Oh! I know!" Pinkie Pie said, waving her hand.

"...Yes?"

"Well we're magical girls, right?!" Pinkie Pie asked, then ponyed up into her new threads.

"Yes..."

"Well in Magical Girl anime, when a magical girl gets a new super mode, they normally have it on top of their normal form, it isn't their normal form, so maybe you have to 'double pony up' into Daydream Shimmer?!" Pinkie Pie asked excitably.

"...That....surprisingly makes some sense..."

"Either that or the writers chickened out or forgot."

Session 38.2 Alex Warlorn
(Continue of Session 37.15 Mtangalion)

Starlight flew through a window shouting, "DON'T WORRY TWILIGHT! I'LL SAVE YOU!"

Starlight telekinetically ripped the ordinary piece of quartz from Gilda's claws.

"HEY YOU CRAZY NAG! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Gilda roared.

"I WON'T LET YOU DO THIS TO TWILIGHT YOU WITCH! I WON'T LET ANYPONY OR GRIFFIN REPEAT MY MISTAKES!" Her horn glowed.

Twilight gasped. "Starlight what are you doing?!"

"Don't worry Twilight! I'll free you, and give her a taste of her own medicine!"

"Starlight stop! This is just a-" Gilda got hit by the spell full blast. "-game."

Gilda stood perfectly at attention, zombified and waiting for her command trigger like a good brain-zapped griffin.

+

"Well." Starlight blushed. "You can't really blame me for thinking Gilda had been corrupted by an ancient magical artifact and had used mind control magic on you could I?"

Twilight sighed. "Okay, I'll admit, it was no laughing matter. And if I was going to play along, I should have told you what was going on. We live in the same home. How'd you find out anyway?"

"Spike saw what was going on and send me a dragon mail."

"And I should have told Spike too that it was just a game, in particular with the kind of stuff that happens to us ... and will you stop with the Freedom and Disenchantment spells already?"

"Sorry. Just making sure. So are you really into-"

"NO I'M NOT! GAME! YA KNOW? ROLE PLAY?!"

"I finished making you some lovely scones Miss Starlight Glimmer, what else would you like me to do?" Gilda said with as much a smile as a griffin could do, and her eye dotted. She was also wearing a maid's uniform.

"AND NOW WILL YOU LET ME TAKE THAT ENCHANTMENT OFF GILDA ALREADY?!"

"OH! RIGHT! HEHEH! SORRY! But I DID think that, well, after you suggest I experience what it was like-"

Twilight sighed. "Just stand behind me so she doesn't try to claw your face the moment the enchantment is undone."

"But being Starlight Glimmer's zombified griffin slave is totally radical." Gilda said. "She, like, does all the thinking for me."

"And the sooner the better." Twilight said.

+

A few hours later, Gilda sat on a couch in Rainbow Dash's house, an ice-pack on her head. "So how long before this stupid headache is gone?"

"Ours wore off in about a day. And you might want to watch out for residue from the spell. That took about a week to vanish for us. So you might want to think extra hard about whether you really want to do anything Starlight Glimmer says."

"Whatever you say Rainbow Dash... Ugh! Please tell me I did not just say that! Please do me a favor and DON'T let me near any maid dresses this week, I don't want to know if I'll want to wear it or rip it to shreds."

"Gotcha Gilda... "

+

"Of all of Princess Twilight's punishments, this isn't so bad." Starlight Glimmer said.

"Maybe cause she admits it was partially her fault." Spike said.

"I notice you got off scott free."

"I think she's just happy I didn't mail Princess Celestia instead. Now forward my steed! We must slay the ogre and rescue the princess!"

Starlight said resisting a roll of the eyes. "Yes oh brave knight! Your loyal steed obeys!"

Starlight carried Spike into 'battle' with the giant ogre cut out. Sweetie Belle wearing a princess outfit made by her sister as she played Button Mash's borrowed Joy Boy. Then realized the break was over and began calling, "Save me! Save me oh brave knight!"

Session 38.3 Mtangalion

Another bright Ponyville morning found Princess Twilight doing paperwork on her balcony again, with Gilda sitting across from her. The griffon was slumped in her chair, groaning, and she hadn't touched the chess set.

Twilight smiled and levitated the teapot, refilling her cup and pouring one for Gilda too. "I have to admit, I didn't expect to see you here again for a while."

Gilda chuckled, then winced, kneading her forehead. "Well, yeah. I never got my shiny back."

Twilight blinked, then lifted a rough, translucent stone in her magic. "What, this thing? Gilda, it's just a piece of quartz."

Gilda sniffed at her teacup, then downed all the tea in one gulp. "So? A shiny's a shiny. Especially when it's *my* shiny."

Twilight got a thoughtful look, then grinned deviously. "Ah, but I hold Grover's Glorious Gemstone now! Why should I share you with Lady Starlight? Ha, ha! Now the big tough griffon will bow to me, helpless to resist my Alicorn might! I can have you waiting on me paw and claw, saying 'Yes, Princess!' as you kiss my hooves and..." She trailed off. "Gilda, am I turning you on?"

"Uh... no?" rasped Gilda, coughing and trying to refold her wings. "As if!"

Twilight put Celestia's Diplomatic Method #6 to good use, hiding her dismay by sipping her tea. "No offense, but I really don't understand griffons sometimes. Is it normal for griffon relationships to be... how can I put this politely... a contest of wills?" Twilight shrugged her wings. "Admittedly, I don't have much experience with romance, but I've heard that a relationship based on equality with mutual admiration and respect can be fun and fulfilling too."

Gilda rolled her eyes. "Ugh... Boring!" Alicorn and griffon both wound up laughing.

The balcony door slid open a few inches. "There isn't any *evil* mind control going on out there, is there?" asked Spike.

"Nope, no mind control here!" said Twilight, humoring him.

"Are you sure?" asked Starlight, also peeking through the door. "We're fully prepared to rush to your rescue!"

Gilda bristled, seeing Starlight again. "Oh gosh, I think they're on to us, Sparkle. We'll have to go make out someplace else."

Starlight facehoofed. "Would you just figure out who you really want to date and go chase after *them* already!?"

Gilda blinked slowly, pupils shrinking a bit. "That's an awesome idea, Starlight Glimmer. Thanks for the advice!" She shook Starlight's hoof in her talons, then Twilight's, and then she flew right off.

"Well, that's no good," mused Spike, picking up the piece of quartz. "She forgot her shiny again!"

Session 38.4 Grogar-the-onser

"Why- no.... how did this happen?" Applejack asked

"Well..."

(Flashback)

"Are you sure you want that toy squirt." Rainbow said.

"Yeah, but i can't seem to get it, that game is rigged." Scootaloo said giving the claw machine the stink eye.

"Step aside squirt, I'll get that toy for ya." Rainbow Dash stated as she pulled out a bit, placing it in the machine. The game started with a 30 second timer. Rainbow moved the crane over to the toy Scootaloo wanted, it was in the perfect position. All she had to do was hit the button to drop the crane down.

The crane lowered, grabbing the toy with ease. It glided across the machine towards the drop box.

"Easy, easy." Rainbow kept muttering to herself. The claw was about to reach the drop off area when suddenly, the toy managed to fall out of the claw's grasp and landed in a awkward angle. Rainbow blinked abit. "Heh, don't worry squirt, even a master know you can't catch it on the first go."

(Ten tries later)

Scootaloo, standing beside RD, watched as the rainbow haired pony maneuvered the claw over her target, swooped down to pick it up, and missed, for the eleventh time. Rainbow let out a furious growl before pulling out another bit and forcing it into the game's slot.

"You know it's okay Rainbow Dash, I don't need that toy." Scootaloo said

"Oh i'm getting you that stupid toy!" Rainbow snapped. She growled annoyed as the claw couldn't properly grasped it.

"I just think your taking it a little too seriously...."

"Oh i'm taking it as seriously as I need to." she eye it annoyingly, it was as if it was mocking her. "And I know it purposely escaping the claw like the jerk it is!"

".... Okay." Scootaloo said, suddenly worried for Rainbow Dash sanity

"It thinks it so smart, letting it get caught the first time getting close only to drop in a place that its hard for the machine to grasp it, but i'll show it!" Rainbow said, she looked at the drop box hole with fury in her eyes-

(Flashback end)

"And I think you can guess what happens next." Rainbow Dash said her hoof stuck in the machine.

Applejack rolled her eyes.

Session 38.5 Alex Warlorn Ardashir

Princess Celestia said, "My dear Twilight Sparkle... if there's any pony alive who knows what it's like to have a trans-dimensional relationship... she's speaking to you right now."

"Okay, but cross-species too?"

Celestia smiled. "They're not exactly unknown in Equestria. More than a few pegasi have griffon ancestors."

"Huh." Twilight blinked in surprise. "I guess that explains the letter Gilda gave Fluttershy a few days ago."

***

"Eep!" Fluttershy looked at the letter listing the results of the ancestral research spells, and then at Gilda. "We're related?"

"We're cousins ten or twelve times removed on my mom's side," Gilda folded her forelegs across her chest. "Just don't tell anygriff or pony about this, okay?"

Zephyr Breeze called out, "COUSIN!"

Gilda growled, "If there's one thing griffins can't stand, it's parasites!"

Session 38.6 Mtangalion

Twilight took another sip of tea, trying to calm her nerves. "So, I take it you've heard about some of the... issues we've been having lately."

(A few hours ago...)

An orange pegasus with a blue mane and a shield and lightning bolt cutie mark stumbled out of Twilight's mirror room, tripping over his hooves and everything else. "Don't worry, Twilight! I'll save you!" He tried to run again, but his hooves slipped every which way and he went down in a heap.

"Hey, are you okay?" said a familiar raspy voice.

Flash Sentry groaned, puzzled by the four slim blue hooves on the crystal floor in front of him. He looked up and found himself nose to nose with... "Rainbow Dash? Why do you look like a pony in World of Horsecraft? Oh my gosh, you're naked!"

Rainbow snickered. "Uh... Newsflash, buddy." She whispered in his ear, "You're naked too."

"Gah!" Flash sprang to his hooves, which was a lot easier when he wasn't overthinking it. "Don't remind me!"

Rainbow flapped her wings, lazily floating into the air and inspecting Flash front and back. "Human, right? Gotcha. I'll go find Twilight."

Flash stared. "How are you doing that? I mean, that was weird enough in the my world, but those wings shouldn't be able to generate nearly enough lift..."

"Yeah, you're definitely gonna need Twilight to help you with that one." Rainbow plucked a loose orange feather and used subtle wind currents to balance it perfectly on her nose. "Spoilers... it's magic."

Twilight smiled at Flash, sitting by her side, and Gerold the griffon... blue and white feathers with dark fur, nice to finally have his name... and Gilda too. The human world Gilda, not the native one, Twilight had to keep reminding herself. They were still trying to track down the other Gilda before that mind control spell got her and Starlight Glimmer in any more trouble.

Flash was trying to be nice and not gawk at Celestia, without much success. "I don't know if I'll be able to take Principal Celestia seriously after this."

It was a wonder that there had never been a lawsuit, even though the in-game models and voices of the pony princesses were just different enough that there could still be some doubt. Flash had no doubts at all, now... Princess Celestia was real, and she was unquestionably his high school principal as a pony. It made Flash wish that he could have played the game with Sunset's friends more, maybe even joined their guild, but hanging around his ex-girlfriend was awkward, and having a Twilight who wasn't his Twilight join them only made it worse.

"It's alright," said Celestia, smiling diplomatically. "I've heard quite a bit about her."

Gilda glanced up... she'd been busy staring at her own claws, just lifting them off the floor and wiggling her talons. "Dang, you're huge. I mean, boss characters are always huge in World of Horsecraft, but... dang!" She coughed and twitched her wings, remembering how she'd thought she was actually inside the game world last time. "If you're not a video game character, then how do you do that hair thing?"

Gerold coughed, trying to play it tough and cool when he was obviously intimidated, being face to face with the same Invincible Sun who had *decisively* ended the pony-griffon wars centuries ago.

Gilda rolled her eyes. "How do you do that hair thing, your highness?" She grinned slyly. "Happy now?"

Gerold slyly grinned right back.

Flash was trying to scratch the back of his neck offhandedly, which wasn't working so well with hooves. "So, Twilight... now that I know you're okay, maybe I should be getting on home? We wouldn't want to unravel time and space, and all of those other things you mentioned."

Twilight beamed at him. "Are you kidding? Now that you've finally come to see me in my world, we have so much to talk about! In fact, I've made..."

"A list?" said Flash.

Twilight smirked, poking him with a wing. "Yes, a whole list of things we can do together while you're here! Hmm, maybe we should move 'Flying lesson together with Rainbow Dash' to the top. Then you could be a guest character in our afternoon roleplaying game. Oh, and you have got to try buckball! You certainly can't do that in the human world..."

Gilda sighed. "I'm gonna miss you when you're here and I'm back home, you big handsome turkey, you." She nudged Gerold playfully. "You didn't forget we can go flying there the same as here, right?"

Twilight choked on her tea, and Flash helpfully thumped her on the back.

Gerold took Gilda's talons in his. "Yeah, yeah that helped a lot, but I was going nuts, missing my beak and my feathers and... my everything! You know, you could always move to Equestia..."

Gilda's breath caught, looking into his eyes. She *couldn't* just drop everything and fly off to another world, but she wanted to. She'd forgotten what this was like... the strength, the confidence... seeing things miles away so clearly... this griffon body rocked! Wait, did that mean she was a furry?

She tried to laugh it off. "Oh sure, no problem. I'd only fail all my classes, and get fired from my part time QA job. I just know that jerk Discord would rat me out to Chrysalis if I didn't show up. Heck, I might get fired by the big boss himself. They say getting chewed out by President Sombra is the stuff of legend."

For the first time in at least a century, Celestia dropped her teacup.

Session 38.7 BrutalityInc

Button Mash was just entering the establishment for his regular sojourn at the arcade, when he was tackled by a white blur. When he found his daze clearing, he found himself around the corner in the alleyway, staring right into the eyes of Sweetie Belle, standing right on top of him.

"Mashie, I need your help!" Sweetie Belle pleaded

Blushing, Button Mash stuttered as he replied, "W-w-what for?"

"What else do you think?" Sweetie Belle asked aloud, before getting off of him and helping him up, "Come on, let’s go the Sugarcube Corners. I’ll explain everything over some milkshakes."

Button Mash found himself dimly nodding in agreement, and followed her. He couldn’t say no to that pretty face, could he?

= = =

It took half an hour before he found all his senses again. But when he did, Button Mash was quick to grasp the situation, especially once it was apparent, as Sweetie Belle mentioned, that it involved videogames.

"So you got into an argument with Diamond Tiara? I thought you two are friends now!" Button Mash mentioned, confounded by what he heard.

"Well, YES, but just because we buried the hatchet doesn’t mean that we agree on everything, or that we forgotten all the ill-feelings that happened between us... which might explain how it got so heated." Sweetie Belle paused to take a sip from her milkshake, then continued, "So anyways, we decided to settle the issue – which I’m not going to say – with a contest, and the loser would have to admit she’s wrong and owe a favour to do whatever the other filly could think of."

"And the contest you choose to play ‘Battleships’ in the Arcade?" Button Mash asked, "You do know that the Multiplayer on that console is broken, right?"

"Well, we didn’t at the time, but neither of us can agree on something else. So we decided each of us will play single-player VS CPU match, winner being the first pony to win one more round than the other by the end of five rounds." Sweetie Belle confirmed, "This is going to happen tomorrow morning, which is why I’m coming to you now; do you know any secrets or tricks that may help me win?"

Button Mash tapped his chin, his face screwed up in deep thought. Then, he said, "Alright, here’s what you need to do. But for it to work, you’ll need to change the rules of the game slightly..."

= = =

When morning came, Diamond Tiara was already at the Arcade with Silver Spoon, waiting for Sweetie Belle and the rest of the CMC when they arrived later. After the greetings and boasts, they settled down at the Battleships game console machine to begin their match, coins ready.

But before then, Sweetie Belle added a new condition to their bet.

"We’re playing in ‘Salvo’ mode?" Diamond Tiara queried, surprised. "How’s that different from normal Battleships?"

"If I heard about it correctly," Sweetie Belle explained, "It’s not that much different. Basically, instead of each players getting one shot per turn, we get one for each ship we have; that way, when we attack, we do so with a ‘salvo’, in naval terms. The number of shots you have decrease with each ship you lose, but so does your opponent if he or she loses their ships. I reckoned would make our match much more exciting."

Diamond Tiara raised an eyebrow over this, but shrugged and agreed, pressing the buttons needed to change the game mode on screen.

Indeed, as Sweetie Belle implied, it made for a much faster and more intense game; by mutual agreement, Diamond Tiara went first, and all the fillies present found themselves gripped by the action as Diamond Tiara fired her salvos through the metaphorical fog of war onto the other side each turn, and receiving a rain of munitions in turn.

Diamond Tiara’s first round ended well; she lost her gunboat and cruiser, and her battleship was damaged, but ultimately took out all the other ships the CPU has. Second round ended less well, with Diamond Tiara losing, all her ships ending at the bottom of the waves, though she did take out at least three of the CPU’s vessels, including the battleship, before she went down.

However, Sweetie Belle found herself sweating, her heart skipping beats, as Diamond Tiara won the next three rounds; the third and the fourth rounds were close-shaves, the former with Diamond down to only one gunboat, and the latter with Diamond literally ONE SHOT away from defeat.

The fifth round capped Diamond Tiara’s turn with a great victory, with Diamond losing only one ship, a destroyer, while annihilating the CPU’s fleet. She left the console with a triumphant grin, almost like the one she wore back when she was a bully.

Four out of five. Sweetie Belle will have to top that with a flawless five-round run if she would have any hope of winning. Even her friends’ cheers of support from behind her didn’t help her much with her confidence.

‘Just remember what Button Mash taught you...’ Sweetie Belle recited in her mind, even as she entered her first coin and the game began.

As every colt and filly knows, a game of Battleship begins with placement of the five vessels – gunboat, destroyer, frigate, cruiser, and battleship – on your tactical grid. Your opponent can’t see your placement, and neither can you your opponent, and the objective of each game is to guess where your opponents had place their ships and sink them, one/five squares per turn, one ship at a time. Where one place the ships has considerable impact on victory or defeat.

Luckily for Sweetie Belle, Button Mash told her where to place them for maximum protection.

"Wait a minute, what is she doing?" Silver Spoon asked aloud.

Diamond Tiara and the rest of the CMC found themselves surprised and confused at where Sweetie Belle positioned her fleet; whereas most players would randomly criss-cross them across the board, she had all her ships placed at the very four edge of the grid, their broadsides hugging the boundaries of the board, their sterns and bows touching the very corners.

Then the round begins in earnest, with the CPU firing first. When the shots landed, the fillies saw just why she did so.

"The shots... they all went wide!" Scootaloo gasped as five random squares lit up at the centre of Sweetie Belle’s grid. "Even Diamond wasn’t so lucky the first time!"

Diamond Tiara tightened her eyebrow, "We’ll see if her luck holds out..."

It was Sweetie Belle’s turn to attack. Like Button Mash taught her, instead of random shots like most players would try, seeking to probe where their opponents placed their vessels, she picked the 3 X 3 squares in one corner, and landed her shots in an X shape, one in each outer corner squares and one in the middle.

After the next CPU’s salvo also landed in the empty squares at the centre of the grid, Sweetie Belle maintained her attack pattern, moving to the next 3 X 3 square to the left. This time, she ensured the shots landed in such a way that the X is linked with the previous, producing a pattern of chequered squares resembling the one in a chess checkerboard.

"She’s going through the grid like some confounded scanning machine!" Applebloom commented, "Given the way she spaced her shots, there’s no way Sweetie is going to miss anything..."

Indeed, the first two shots of her next attack turn landed direct hits on a vessel. Sensing blood, Sweetie immediately broke the pattern, and the next three shots followed the same line as the first two, each scoring a hit.

"She... she just took out the battleship within the first three turns!" Silver Spoon muttered with disbelief. It took Diamond Tiara five salvos turns in her first round just to HIT something!

The rest of the CPU’s ships fell the same way in short order under the guns of Sweetie Belle’s fleet... with absolutely NO LOSS OF HER OWN. A flawless victory.

"Yes! Onward, to round 2!" Sweetie Belle cheered.

Diamond Tiara grimaced. If this keeps up to round 5, it seems she just might lose this bet after all...

= = =

"So, how did you figure this out?" Sweetie Belle asked Button Mash.

"When you played games as long as I had, you’ll pick up a few things." Button Mash boasted.

Sweetie Belle cocked an eyebrow of doubt, given that Button Mash is no older than he is, but let that slide as Button Mash continued, "The thing about CPU players in these consoles is that, even with many of those programmers like my dad doing a very good job, they’re still not exactly SMART."

"In Battleships, the CPU fires randomly until it hits something, and only then start hitting whatever it hit repeatedly until there’s nothing left. After that, the process repeats itself. Even ship placement is completely random." Button Mash explained, "They say Battleships is a game of intuition and strategy, but the CPU can do none of that. Realizing this, I figured out it’s just a simple matter of using that antic against itself."

"So if I’m reading this right..." Sweetie Belle, "By not putting your ships out in the open, you can get the CPU player to hit empty squares for 3/4 of the game, while the checkerboard pattern sweeping attacks would allow you to comb the CPU player’s grid systematically and take out the randomly placed ships far quicker than with normal probing attacks?"

"That’s right. You don’t even need to play it in Salvo mode; normal mode is just fine. I just liked Salvo mode because a shot per turn is just too slow and tedious for conducting the sweeps." Button Mash explained, "Although the tactic wouldn’t work if you play against another pony. The thing about pony players is that unlike CPUs now, they learn from their mistakes; they’re all but certain to figure out your game after the second or third time and know where to hit you. Maybe they’ll even copy your style for where to place ships."

"But against a CPU player, I’m all but guaranteed to win, no matter what?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"At worst you might get a hit on one of your ships, or maybe even lose a ship... but, let’s just say that I have never, EVER lost a Battleships game against a CPU opponent after I figured that out. " Button Mash confirmed with a grin. "... and since you're not playing against a pony, victory is almost assured!"

Sweetie Belle squeed and hugged Button Mash, "Thanks, Mashie! You’re the best!"

She kissed Buttons in the check. Love-struck, Button Mash found himself dazed again, smiling like a dope, before he fell on the floor in a faint.

Session 38.8 Kendell2

"Good job, Pinkie Pie!" said Rainbow Dash, as Ponyville's Buckball team just scored the winning point against the Yakyakistan team (on their home court). The opposing team consisted of a Yak in the Earth Pony spot, a Griffon in the pegasus spot, and finally a reindeer in the unicorn spot.

"Thanks, Dashie! That was fun!" Pinkie Pie called, bouncing over.

Fluttershy looked at Snails as the two came back over, the colt only wearing a scarf and hat while the rest were wearing more fitting clothing for the frozen north. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah! The cold doesn't bother me much..." the colt said, looking like his body didn't REALIZE it was supposed to be cold.

"Yeah, but here comes their Prince, and if this is like when we got a point against them in Boffyball, you'd better brace for impact," Gilda, who'd been in the audience, said as Prince Rutherford marched over.

The Ponyville team gulped, looking up at the huge Yak.

Rutherford looked to the scoreboard, it having been a close game the ponies winning by a single point. "Pony's victory not perfect! Ponies may destroy!"

The group blinked, looking to one another.

"The stadium?" AJ asked, blinking.

"Yes!"

"Um...no offense but...we don't quite understand..." Fluttershy said. "You're not mad you lost?"

Prince Rutherford shook his head. "No! Yak custom! Yaks build arena for each game! If winning team's victory perfect, it stay, but if not perfect, Yaks destroy! Yaks believe it please Yak God of Victory!"

"Oh...uh...big guy?" Gilda asked.

"Yes?!"

"...Might want to tell that to the teams you're going to be playing with, just in case they DON'T want their stadium trashed," Gilda asked.

"...Yaks remember that next time!"

"Well, don't know about you," said Rainbow Dash, smirking. "But destroying a stadium DOES sound like fun."

"...She has a point," Applejack pointed out...then punched a hole through the wall behind her.

"That the spirit!" Prince Rutherford yelled.

Session 38.9 Alex Warlorn

"On behalf of the ponies of Maretropolis, I accept this giant medal in honor of my achievements in the field of beauty and zeal in cart design!" Waved waved at the crowd of cheering ponies. Behind her was a blue ribbon medal the size of truck.

Then, wearing a top hat and cape, a shadowy figure sneaked up to the giant medal, and laughed in a insister yet insane voice. Then lifted up the giant medal lie it was a made of styrofoam. The crowd of ponies gasped, and Rarity turned around. "Oh my!"

"It's the Medal-Burglar!" Shouted a little filly.

"Bwahahahh!" Laughed the gray villainous, her yellow eyes looking in opposite directions.

Then in spite of having wings began to skip away holding the giant medal above her head.

"She's stealing the giant medal!" Cried another pony. The police stood in the way of the Medal Burglar, only to be knocked away she knocked them away with the giant medal.

Rarity began behind stage, and raised her bracelet.

"In fabulous day,
In gaudy night!
No evil shall escape my sight!
Let those who worship garish might,
Fear my power, Radiance's Light!"

Rarity transformed into the superhero, and then flew after the super villain.

"Look! It's Radiance!"

"She'll save us all!"

The ponies cheered.

-

"What's Rarity's doing?" Scootaloo asked looking at the custom enchanted comic.

"She said something about needing some 'me' time." Sweetie said.

"An enchanted comics?! Who cool!" Said somepony.

-

The blond haired fiend continued to make her get away, but not for long, as Radiance created a huge brush and dust pan to scoop up the bubble cutie marked thief. But just before she did, the Medal-Burglar was struck by lighting and switched. The shock actually made her eyes see straight. "N-no fair... you're not supposed to catch me... only Radiance is supposed to catch me..." The Medal Burglar fell over.

"Huh?! But I order a solo adventure!" Rarity said, upset the comic shop had gotten her order wrong.

"Hi Rarity! I help catch the bad guy!" Cheered a happy somehow boyish voice.

Rarity looked... it was Zapp... but it wasn't the comic book pony, nor was it Rainbow Dash in the costume.

"What... DERPY?!"

"Hi Rarity! Oh! I mean, Radiance!" Derpy said, not wanting to run the fun by breaking character.

Rarity blushed and quickly flew between the Medal Burglar and Derpy's line(s) of sight.

Session 38.10 BrutalityInc

"Trixie, you really should think about cleaning up your caravan more often." Starlight Glimmer commented, wincing at the sight of the disorderly dump that Trixie has requested her assistance to tidy up, "Honestly, I was hoping to spend time with my friend over some game or talk about philosophy, not wasting time in late summer spring-cleaning!"

"Trixie admits that she could had done a better job." Trixie concurred apologetically, even as she lifts and toss out yet another junk from her collection out of the window "Unfortunately, Trixie often finds herself too caught up in preparing for her next great act to care about trivialities such as tidiness. Trixie can always find what props she needed from the misplaced piles, and even if she doesn’t, she always manages to improvised. Hence there was no incentive to do so until now..."

"Well, I hope you learnt your lesson, then. I nearly had a heart attack when I first saw the mess in your caravan." Starlight muttered, shuddering. Given her compulsion for order, it was her worst nightmare, besides the ones spawned by her guilt for her crimes.

Of course, the latter problem was the reason why she was here, helping out and spending time with Trixie. She was still getting used to trying to be friends with others without the use of magical solutions, and past bad experiences had done immensely in encouraging her initiative. It helps that Trixie had been more accommodating.

Celestia knows, this skill might actually become important to the future of Equestria...

Now, she just needed something that could allow her to 'click' with Trixie, something with intellectual challenge that they could both enjoy.

Reeling from the reek as she removed some dirty laundry and old magazines, Starlight stopped when she beheld something. "What’s this?"

At the bottom of the heap, Starlight found and picked up an old, battered metal box. Blowing air over its surface, she cleared the dust away to discover words of a strange language, printed in gold and red, forming a sentence on the lid under the smudged icon that vaguely resembled a bird, and another icon of a five-coloured flag.

Starlight didn’t know what it says, but the logo-grams does seem awfully familiar...

"Tsk, tsk, Starlight, did Trixie not tell you to inform her if you find anything of interest?" Trixie said, looking over her shoulders and interrupting her train of thought. Trixie’s horn glowed, and the rest of the dust scatter, revealing Trixie’s distinct cutie-mark imprinted on the side, "You may never know if you had just uncovered some lost treasured artefacts of mine and mistaken it as junk."

"Sorry..." Starlight said, before hoofing it over to Trixie, "You did travel widely in your younger years, is that right? I mean, I don’t recognize the language on the box, but I’m pretty certain it’s definitely not from anywhere on this side of the world."

"Obviously not." Trixie muttered, reading the box, before giving a thoughtful frown, "It appears that you have stumbled upon a relic from my time spent in the East. This is Chineighese, the official language of the Republic of Chineigh, home of the Kirin, the Oriental Dragons, the Shi Lions, the ‘Ma’ Ponies, and a myriad hundreds of races, tribes and cultures, forming a continuous civilization of succeeding dynasties and empires with a history spanning thousands of years..."

"Chineighese! I knew there was something familiar about those characters..." Starlight Glimmer said, "You told us that’s where you learnt mah-jong from, playing against dragons and all that."

"Ah, but that’s not the ONLY game Trixie learnt whilst spending time over there." She pointed to the box, "For your information, the words on the box says ‘Golden Phoenix Game Corporation’. They’re the preeminent producers of all traditional and modern Chineighese tabletop games over there. And as you can see, they make them to last! The Great and Powerful Trixie would be more than happy to advertise for their products with her spectacular shows-mare skills, as one of their previous devoted customers. For a substantial fee worthy of my skills, of course..."

"Well, if you like their games so much, do you remember what game’s in the box?" Starlight Glimmer queried sceptically.

At this, Trixie paused, "Well... not quite." Trixie admitted, "But there’s plenty of time to remember and re-learn, or learn yourself, if you’re curious." She looked around, then turned to Starlight, "Trixie doesn’t see a key... probably lost it sometime ago. Do you have a paper clip you can spare?"

One paperclip and some lock-picking later, the two unicorns opened the lid with anticipation.

True to Trixie’s word, and that of the company’s, what they found was still in relatively pristine condition, despite having been neglected for many years. Wooden, circular cut-block pieces were stacked on top of each other, with more chineighese characters on them, and tucked in the spaces between the stacks, was a folded piece of paper.

"Well, definitely not another set of Go or Mahjong. Not even one of those Chineighese Tien-Go Dominoes..." Trixie muttered as she picked up the paper and unfolded it.

"Is that... some sort of grid?" Starlight Glimmer asked, looking into the opened paper.

= = =

Describing Princess Twilight as exhausted from the second Friendship Summit is somewhat inaccurate, to say the least.

Having rarely been doing international relations beyond reading the books, she had found herself having to hit the ground running when it comes to making negotiations like a trained diplomat, now that she’s a Princess herself and expected to handle diplomatic functions herself.

The Diamond Wolves had been a start, if a rather unusual one, and her first Friendship Summit in Griffonstone had given her much needed experience, but she still had much to learn if she were to be as good as Princess Cadence or Prince Blueblood is in parley, and play the ‘game’ of International Politics as well as Princess Celestia.

At least with Princess Luna, who remains a fish out of temporal water, she was in good company.

Things had been hectic, and she didn’t know how Spike still had the energy afterwards to accept a mailed invitation to visit and play Mahjong with Mina again, catching the first train to Fillydelphia the next morning. But Spike’s growing up to be his own dragon; Twilight is coming to terms with the fact that sooner or later, like all other dragons, he will do what he wants, when he wants.

Twilight had expected to have a day’s rest before she had to deal with anything important, but all that changed when she received a most unusual visitor. Now her excitement and curiosity had given her extra strength the carry through the meeting with this representative, one which had appeared unexpectedly, and revealed to her his true identity away from prying eyes.

"Again, sir, I would like to thank you on behalf of the Principality of Equestria for coming forward and make contact with us." Princess Twilight continued where she left off, reciting from memory etiquette for meeting with foreign dignitaries.

"Much appreciated, your majesty. And I must thank you for being a most understanding and generous host." the unicorn stallion replied, with a more practiced ease, as if he has either done this before a lot, or done significant amounts of preparations in anticipation of this very occasion. "My people are very insular and distrustful of the outside world, and many of my peers had... voiced objections for this venture, out of concern for how Equestria would react and how it would affect their interests. This first contact, I hope, would go a long way in... sparking interests for further interactions on more... peaceable grounds."

"I am glad to be able to help." Princess Twilight paused, pondering hard as she rolled that statement in her head, then asked, "Although, I am curious. From what I understand what you said, your people had willfully isolated themselves from the world for ages. May I inquire as to what caused your people to suddenly change their minds?"

"Let’s just say that the... circumstances have changed." The unicorn offered diplomatically, shrugging in his cream-coloured suit, "And adding that the Others had done so before us, our Court has decided that it is better to follow suit."

"I... see." Princess Twilight muttered, raising an eyebrow.

She’s not a diplomat like Princess Cadence, but she had learnt a few things from her; namely, how to tell when some-pony isn’t being entirely forthcoming. There was a vagueness in the sentence that seemed to hint at something deeper, and is trying to distract her from that fact with the following statement.

How she wished Applejack is with her right now. But with her currently occupied with helping her cousin...

Then she realized something... and she berated herself internally; she had made it too obvious that she noticed to him. And one of the many golden rules of parley, as Prince Blueblood putted it, is never let your negotiating opponent realize you’re onto his or her game.

For his part, if he noticed, he didn’t show it. Then again, considering what he is, Twilight realized, having that sort of experience/knowledge should had been expected...

She decided to change the subject, "I apologise for not being able to set up a proper reception. Your coming was rather unexpected, and I had just returned from another Friendship Summit."

The maroon unicorn beamed a kind smile, "I understand. I did send a letter ahead, but neither of us could had anticipated the extension of the Summit." It was extended by three more days, in fact, "And I’m perfectly fine with this arrangement. My people want this first contact to be done as low-key as possible. We wish take our integration into the wider world on a slow and steady pace."

"By all means, take all the time you need. Equestria is more than happy to assist your people in any way." Princess Twilight promised.

"I’ll take your word for it." The unicorn said simply.

"Now, since it’s nearly noon. Would you like some lunch? My assistant hasn’t returned yet, but I or my student can cook a decent meal, or order some from the local restaurant..." Twilight suggested.

"Oh, no, no need to trouble yourself personally; and I would love to sample some of the local cuisine..." The unicorn offered as they reached the main throne-room, "Maybe also a game, while at it? I heard that table-top games have become quite a fad in Equestria, for most part thanks to your highness and your friends..."

"By all means, let’s!" Twilight concurred cheerfully, as she opened the door, "Given most of my friends are busy as it is, there’s plenty of time and room for afternoon for..."

Whatever she wanted to say next never came out, for that was when she noticed that two of the Friendship Castle thrones are being occupied by two familiar unicorn mares.

"Trixie? Starlight?" Twilight gasped.

"Hey, Twilight!" They chorused, not turning from their game.

"That would be your illusionist friend and your student in Magic, I presume?" The unicorn asked.

"Yes." Twilight confirmed hastily, before turning her attention back to the two mares. This development had derailed her plans somewhat, "Trixie, Starlight, what are you two doing here? I thought you are both cleaning up Trixie's caravan!"

"Found a game. Don't have enough room. So we came here." Trixie said tersely, moving a black piece.

"Mostly done anyways." Starlight added, countering it with a red piece.

"How long have you two been playing this?" Twilight asked as she moved closer to watch them play, followed by her guest, "And who’s winning?"

"Lost count..." Trixie muttered, "Probably two hours, or three."

"Game is five-rounds match. 2-2 so far." Starlight answered the latter question, "One more, and I will win!"

"Says you!" Trixie responded, louder and boastful than moments before, "Trixie shall be the one to win this match!"

"... What are you two playing anyways?" Twilight asked, looking at the game thoughtfully.

"Not now! Tell you later!" They chorused, unwilling to let any-pony or anything distract them from their game.

"From the looks of it..." the unicorn beside her finally said, eyes widening with recognition, "I think they’re playing Xianqi."

"Xianqi?" Twilight asked, confused.

"Xiangqi. It is a rather popular tabletop game in the Orient, particularly in Chineigh and Hind, with a history stretching back thousands of years into antiquity." The unicorn said, nodding, "One might know it better as Elephant Chess, its raw translation."

At the mention of chess, Twilight snapped to attention. "Elephant chess?"

The unicorn gave a look like he is a fisher-pony who had ensnared a catch. "It has been compared considerably with Chess of the west, and both are similar to each other in many aspects. But there are also considerable differences. I’ll be more than happy to run you through it, if you’re interested?"

At Twilight’s nod, he began, "In Xiangqi, two players face off on a grid, where they play their pieces against each other, moving and capturing on the intersecting points instead of the squares. Like in Chess, the goal of Xiangqi is to capture the enemy’s ‘King’ piece, which in Xiangqi is either the ‘Jiang’, the Marshal," he pointed to the Red piece on one end of the board, "or ‘Shuai’, the General." he then pointed his hoof towards its Black counterpart on the other end.

"Why are there two different but similar names for the some of the same pieces?" Twilight asked. She noticed that this also applied on other pieces, each with the same general name and role, but represented by different Chineighese characters.

"I believe the idea was that one side is subtly hinted to be more noble than the other. Most likely, Red represents the ‘good’ side, given the meanings of their characters, and the fact that most games starts with the Red player going first." The unicorn continued, "Like in western Chess, the capture is performed as a checkmate, where the King piece is placed in a position where there is no means of escape. Unlike in western Chess, however, you cannot hope to force a draw; if a stalemate occurs, the side with no safe, legal move remaining must concede."

"Well, this would had been convenient..." Twilight commented. Watching how intently both Trixie and Starlight had become indulged in their game, she was reminded of her obsessive chess duel with Sunset, so many sessions ago.

"It is, isn’t it?" The unicorn concurred, seemingly unaware of what Twilight is thinking, "One could also not pursue a state of perpetual check, or a perpetual attack, which would lead to repeating game positions. The player doing so must do something else if such a situation occurs."

"Wait, why is Trixie moving the General piece like that?" Twilight asked, pointing to the black piece in question.

"That is because your student is moving her Marshal piece." The unicorn explained, "The Commander pieces are bound by special rules. Notice if you will, that the maps are divided into two zones, for each player; and at the baseline centre of each zone, there is a 3X3 grid which is linked by a cross. That represents the players’ respective ‘Palaces’. Unlike the King in Chess, both the General and the Marshal are confined to each of their respective palaces, and have limited movements therein; they can move one space to the left, right, forwards or backwards per turn. The other special rule is that the ‘Commander’ pieces can never face each other in a straight line at any one time, without another piece intersecting between them. This is important for an attacking player near end-game, who wishes to protect the pieces invading the ‘Palace’ to capture the enemy ‘Commander’."

"What’s that piece next to the General? That ‘Shi’ piece?" Twilight asked, as Trixie took out one attacking Red piece with a diagonal move, "It seems to be limited to the ‘Palace’ area as well, but I can’t tell what it is supposed to be in terms of western Chess..."

"You wouldn’t. There is no analogue for it in western Chess. Some say the closest Chess piece which these ‘Advisors’ and ‘Counsellors’ would resemble in role would be the Queen, though that is a rather unfounded comparison, given the vast differences. Because they can only move and capture diagonally within the Palace, they are limited to five points on the map. Given their role of defending the Commander, their limited move sets made their positioning critical near end-games, with their starting positions being next to the Commander piece on baseline."

"Fascinating..." Twilight muttered, watching as Trixie countered Starlight’s advance, dealing with another of the latter’s attacking piece with one particular piece, which moved diagonally by two points to capture it. "And this piece, ‘Xiang’, or ‘Elephant’, I take that is Xiangqi’s analogue of the Bishop in Chess?"

"Indeed! Although again, there are differences." The unicorn pointed, "The Black Elephant, and its Red analogue Minister, are also primarily defensive pieces. Unlike Bishops, its movement is limited to not just no more than two points, but exactly two points. This means that their movement cannot ‘jump’ over an intervening piece, and thus can be blocked by positioning a piece diagonally adjacent to them. This is called ‘Blocking the Elephant’s Eye’ in Xiangqi, I believe; and if I remember correctly, it is recommended that two Elephants or Ministers be used to defend each other due to how easy it is for them to be threatened or trapped, despite them being powerful if played correctly."

Twilight watched as Starlight retreated her last remaining piece, with Trixie moving another of her Elephant in pursuit. Twilight found herself dumbfounded as while Starlight moved her piece across the rectangular space that divided the two sides of the board, while Trixie’s Elephant couldn’t follow.

"I see that you notice why your friend didn’t have Elephant pursuit your student’s piece, past the divide." The unicorn noted, "Well, that divide is the ‘River’, and it is actually ignored in terms of gameplay. The players can just place pieces on its banks as if they are normal lines. However, they do affect gameplay somewhat; the reason why the Elephants and Ministers are limited to only seven positions on their side of the board in terms of movement is that they cannot cross the River. It also affects movement for another piece."

"You mean the ‘Ping’, or Soldier, one of which Starlight lost whilst trying to checkmate Trixie’s Palace?" Twilight chanced, "I reckoned they are like the Pawns in Chess, until I saw them start moving left and right on the other side of the board."

"Very astute! Yes, the Red Soldier, and its Black counterpart ‘Tsuh’ or Private is the analogue of the Pawn. Like in Chess, they can only move forward one point per turn, never backwards. Unlike Pawns, however, they would not promote upon reaching the end, and captures just by moving normally, not diagonally." The unicorn explained, "And crossing the River alters their movement sets, allowing them to move left and right by one turn. They could also move left and right after reaching the baseline on the other side."

Starlight's failed attempt at checkmate had left her open and depleted of valuable pieces, and Trixie took full advantage of it with an offensive of her own. Twilight saw Trixie opening her move with positioning a piece that across the River, one point vertically and another point diagonally.

"That 'Ma' piece, I presume, is Xiangqi's analogue of the Knight?" Twilight asked. Rhetorical, really, given how obvious it is.

The unicorn nodded, "Of course, the Horse, unlike a Knight, can also be blocked by a well-positioned intersecting piece. All in all, moving diagonally is not as important in Xiangqi's as in Chess, not when so many movements be intervened."

Starlight moved a piece, her last 'Minister', in preparation for defence against Trixie's 'Horse', only to her shock see it taken out by another of Trixie's pieces, which leap over another piece across the river to capture. Starlight realised, too late, that Trixie's ploy with the 'Horse' all along was to lure out her 'Minister' to capture.

"What is that?! I thought..." Twilight exclaimed, surprised by that move.

"That would be the 'Pao', or Cannon. There is no analogue for it in Chess. It can move anywhere horizontally or vertically until reaches the end of the map, or is intersected by a unit." The unicorn elaborated "For it to capture other units, however, it has a special rule; namely, it cannot capture any piece unless there is an intervening piece, friend or foe, in the way. And it could only be performed in capture; it cannot move towards any spaces in between the enemy piece and the intervening piece."

"Alright... So what piece are not so restricted?" Twilight asked, "Is there an analogue for a Chess Rook in Xiangqi?"

"That would be the ‘Che’, or Chariot." The unicorn explained, as Trixie moved one of said piece from her side of the map into Starlight’s side, resulting in the loss of Starlight’s remaining Horse, "Like the Cannon, it can move anywhere horizontally or vertically until reaches the end of the map, and it can capture any unit in the direction of movement."

A well-positioned Horse by Trixie took out one of Starlight’s Advisor piece, resulting in the intrusion of the Palace. With Trixie’s Chariot taking out the other Advisor as well, Starlight’s Marshal was all but surrounded. Realizing she had no legal moves left, with a heavy sigh, Starlight accepted the inevitable, and forfeited, leaving Trixie as the overall winner of the match.

"Aha! Checkmate!" Trixie whooped with glee, "The cunning and calculating Trixie still got it!"

"Nicely done, ladies! That was quite a good game I saw!" The unicorn said cheerfully.

That was when the two playing mares turned and noticed the presence of the other unicorn in the room, standing next to Princess Twilight, "And... who are you supposed to be?" Trixie queried.

The unicorn beamed a bemused smile, before his horn glowed green.

There was a flash of green fire, and in its wake, another creature – one tall, dark and majestic – stood where the unicorn was.

"A... a changeling!" Starlight muttered, gaping in shock along with Trixie.

"Well... not quite." The voice he spoke with was the same as the unicorn, but carry a ‘Voice of the Legion’ echo, so distinctive of Royal Changelings.

"Trixie, Starlight, I would like you to meet Metamorphosis, a Changeling King (among many). He has come on behalf of his father and his brothers as a representative of the Summer Court Changelings, to make official first contact and open relations with Equestria. Thanks for explaining Xiangqi for me, your majesty!"

"You’re very welcome, your highness." The Changeling King replied, before striding forward and sitting down between the two still gawking mares, still beaming his warm smile. "Mind if I join in, dear ladies?"

To be continued... Maybe.

Session 38.11 Mtangalion

Gustave le Grand glared at the three-hoof mark which hung beneath the sign of his Soaring Skies Cafe, then tore it loose, hurling it to the ground and stamping on it. "Quel désastre! First Canterlot ponies say that all food must be made a certain way! Then they say, 'No, this is awful,' but it's the same food!" The griffon scowled, stroking his mustaches. "Ponies hate bland food now, eh? Perhaps the great Gustave le Grand shall serve them spiced meats! We'll see how they like that!"

Gustave turned back to the cafe to tell the staff he'd be out flying to clear his head, and saw a shadow with outstretched wings, quickly growing more distinct. Not used to being on the receiving end of this, the griffon didn't realize he was getting dive-bombed until he heard the keening cry... and a griffon hen hit the ground right beside him, almost close enough for their beaks to touch.

"Hi!" said Gilda, looking pleased with herself. "We should date."

Gustave squawked and stumbled back, nearly losing his chef's hat. "I'm very sorry, miss..."

"Gilda! Ponyville, remember? The cooking contest?" She made air quotes with her talons.

He shuddered, remembering. "And I thought nesting hens were terrifying. Look, surely you were not serious. You were merely overwhelmed, being in the presence of the great Gustave le Grand..."

"We should definitely date," insisted Gilda. "Starlight Glimmer said that I should pick someone to date, and chase them. You're good looking, and you don't seem like as big a jerk as most male griffons. You can cook. Cooking is awesome. We should definitely date."

Gustave felt his feline fur trying to stand on end. Perhaps he should just fly away now and shout for the town guards... "And, ah, do you always do what your friend says, this Starlight Glimmer?"

Gilda's pupils shrank, staring past him. "Starlight Glimmer is the best. Every idea she has is awesome."

Gustave frowned, and started stroking his mustaches again. "I see... Tell you what, Mademoiselle Gilda. We are going to have a very special kind of date. It's called a cooking date."

Gilda blinked once. "There's different kinds? Starlight Glimmer didn't say what kind. I guess that's cool."

Gustave opened the door and beckoned like a gentlegriffon. "This way, if you please! Make yourself at home."

"I'll go this way and make myself at home..."

At this hour, Gustave's cafe was mostly empty. There were a couple of nobly-dressed unicorns, engrossed in a game of chess, one waitress keeping their teacups full, and a junior cook stewing extra-spicy vegetables for tonight's special.

In the kitchen, Gilda gave Gustave her undivided attention and did everything he asked, grinding coffee beans, then adding seasonings and starting the coffee brewer. Gustave tapped his claws restlessly, until the last of the sand ran out of his hourglass. "At last. Now for the next step in our cooking date! Have some coffee, Miss Gilda."

"I'll have some coffee," said Gilda, nodding along. She picked up the coffee pot and lifted it towards her beak.

Gustave cringed. "Non, non! Pour some coffee in a cup! Blow on it to cool it, then drink!"

Gilda smiled. "I'll pour coffee in a cup and blow to cool it before I drink." Then she took a sip, and blinked several times. "What the Tartarus. Starlight... I'm gonna wring her neck!" Gilda set the coffee cup down shakily, then changed her mind and took another long sip. "Wait... murder is bad. I'll do something else, but no promises if I see her horn lit up and pointing in my direction!" She drained the coffee cup. "What's in this stuff?"

Gustave smiled genuinely. "It's a blend from the old Griffon Kingdom, supposedly able to clear the mind and bring one great clarity, but I did not expect it to be quite so effective for *this* purpose. Marvelous! Well done indeed, you were a splendid student."

Gilda blushed something fierce. "Yeah. Cool, thanks. About all those things I said..."

"You know... Perhaps this little game does not need to be ended quite so soon. Tell me, what are you best at cooking?"

"Really? You want to..." Gilda thought about it. "Well, duh! Sweets, of course!"

Gustave clapped his claws together. "Excellent. You will be making classic Prench salad. The ingredients are right here..."

"Salad?" Gilda saw the sacks of whole grasses and grains, and made a face. "That's pony food, we can't eat that! I mean... How do you even know if you made it right?"

Gustave grinned darkly. "My dear Gilda, that is what taste-testers are for."

Session 38.12 Alex Warlorn/Ardashir

*FLASHBACK!*

Starlight Glimmer look at the disaster inside the castle, and said, "Oh buck me."

Applejack who had been standing right behind her, her eyes became pin pricks. "Whatever ya say Starlight Glimmer."

A second later, an outward impression of Starlight Glimmer's outline, was suddenly visible on the outside of the crystal castle.

Starlight began to pry herself from the wall. "I have GOT to be more careful what I say when I have somepony under a mind influencing spell!"

Zephyr Breeze silently watched what happened between Starlight and Applejack. He looked to his side and smiled. Rainbow Dash had just entered the room.

He trotted up beside the suddenly wary mare and said, "Hey, Dash -- wanna make out?"

Dash froze. Her pupils went pinpoint. "Make WHAT out?"

"You know," the frustrated Zephyr said. He pointed to his mouth. "Just start planting some, right here!"

A second later, a Zephyr Breeze shaped outline appeared in the side of the castle.

Inside, Dash shook her sore hoof. "Dunno why that jerk wanted me to plant a punch in his mouth, but I'm game!"

Session 38.13 sonicandmario826

Apple Bloom, Sweetie Bell, and Scootaloo were playing World of Horsecraft with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. They were having fun playing with the former bullies until Apple Bloom thought of something strange.

"Hey Diamond. How come your dad wanted to tear down Camp Everfree? He's already rich, so why would he need to make it a spa to get more money?"

Diamond didn't respond right away, but eventually said. "Let's just say he was given some.... motivation for the idea."

*sometime in the past*

"Are you sure I should be doing this?" Filthy Rich asked the other figure in the room wondering if this was really a good thing to do.

"Of course honey, this will bring us much more profit than that pathetic camp ever could." Responded Filthy's wife, Spoiled Rich. "Not to mention Diamond deserves to be at a spa. Not some run down camp."

"Are you sure this is something that Diamond would want?" Asked Filthy a little unsure.

"Absolutely! Diamond would never degrade herself to go to something so common like a camp.", Spoiled sneered.

"If you say so say so dear."

*Later*

Filthy was at his desk in his office when he was suddenly interrupted.

"DADDDYYYYY!!!!", yelled Diamond Tiara as she barged in his office.

Filthy was shocked and his eyes were filled with worry. "What's wrong princess!?"

"Is it true you were going to tear down Camp Everfree?!?" Diamond asked sounding a bit peeved.

Filthy stammered, "Uh... Y-yyyes sweetie, but it was for you. I thought you would rather spend summer relaxing at a spa rather than roughing it at a camp."

"I want to go to camp with Silver, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo. I want to be outside, race canoes, tell scary stories at the campfire, and actually act like a kid for once!!!" Diamond yelled seeming hurt from what he tried to do.

Filthy felt horrible. "I'm sorry princess. I-I guess I never asked you what you wanted."

Diamond gave a Filthy a hug saying "I forgive you, but please ask me next time what I want before you do something like that again."

Filthy returned the hug saying, "I will my diamond... I will."

*back to the present*

"I don't think he'll do something like that again." Said Diamond Tiara with a smile.

Session 38.14 Alex Warlorn

(Minor SPOILERS for season finale. Haven't seen it myself. Nor have I watched the previews. HAVE been spoiled by images. Don't want to be spoiled more. No commentary please. Read at own risk.)

"Epic Lich Sombra is gone, you saved Equus, you're all hailed as heroes forever."

"Nice game Chrysalis," Cadence said begrudgingly.

"See you next week?" Gaffer asked politely.

"Yes... next week." Chrysalis trotted away from the crystal game table.

"Uh, did she leave her character sheet?" Native Flash Sentry asked.

Cadence and Shining exchanged looks.

Cadence whispered. "It's a warning."

-

"So My Queen, what's the agenda this week?" Asked Locust.

"Pack up the embassy, we're leaving."

"And our gaming, I mean study into contraband next week?"

"END GAME!"

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 38.0 Grogar-the-onser
Session 38.1 Kendell2
Session 38.2 Alex Warlorn
Session 38.3 Mtangalion
Session 38.4 Grogar-the-onser
Session 38.5 Alex Warlorn Ardashir
Session 38.6 Mtangalion
(If Celestia actually did drop her teacup in some episode I can't remember, I'll have to edit that. :) )
Session 38.7 BrutalityInc (A trick I discovered after playing Battleships on the In-Flight Entertainment systems of planes too many times. I literally never lost a match with that stratagem against an AI opponent)
Session 38.8 Kendell2
Session 38.9 Alex Warlorn
Session 38.10 BrutalityInc
(So yeah, a surprise continuation of the entries in Session 34 and 35 concerning the Other Changelings. Also, an introduction to Xiangqi, the Chinese analogue to western Chess that I had started learning. For more information, here are some guides on rules and strategy: veryspecial.us/free-downloads/… , wxf.ca/wxf/index.php/books )
Session 38.11 Mtangalion
Session 38.12 Alex Warlorn/Ardashir
Session 38.13 sonicandmario826
Session 38.14 Alex Warlorn (Minor SPOILERS for season finale. Haven't seen it myself. Nor have I watched the previews. HAVE been spoiled by images. Don't want to be spoiled more. No commentary please. Read at own risk.)

Cover image by http://vittorionobile.deviantart.com/

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Session 39 (The Rest, Season 6 finale spoilers)

Session 39.5 Alex Warlorn

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THOSE CONSTRUCTION WORKERS NEXT MY MEADOW AREN'T GOING AWAY?!"

Mayor Mare cringed. "Now understand Fluttershy, those construction workers have a union contract, they're already paid, and ponies are STILL demanding the construction of a multi-use stadium... in particular the Buck Ball crowd ... "

"Well I'm going to REFUSE to play Buck ball in that stadium!"

"... And that's your right, seeing as you never signed a service contract of any kind with Applejack or the Buck Ball League... but I do imagine that would reflect poorly on your teammates, and on Ponyville itself... Personally I'm confounded how it's scientifically possible that somepony who owns the largest business in Ponyville could have ruined the economy that badly in just a few days in office. And I'm not sure what else Filthy could have done while doing his hardest to KEEP his campaign promises. He raised taxes on business owners because he needed capital for his civil improvements, and when they demanded he lower taxes, he then had to use sub-par materials for the new playground BECAUSE he didn't have the capital. If anything, I imagine Filthy's problem is that he couldn't accept that sometimes, no, VERY OFTEN as a elected official, you have to abandon promises you made."

"That's horrible! You'd never do a thing like that!"

"I did. When I first ran, I promised I'd replace the fire hazard straw roofs in Ponyville with much safer and rain resistant tile roofs... but I realized the actual post when I saw the budget would have driven Ponyville into debt and have to shut down basic upkeep... and other towns already give us the stink eye for the subsidies that Princess Celestia already gives us."

Fluttershy blinked. "Subsidies?"

"We've had to reconstruct Ponyville several time in the last five years Fluttershy, it's the price we pay living right next to Everfree."

Fluttershy's eyes brightened. "Therefore! That stadium would be too dangerous for visitors, and wouldn't be up to safety code! So you HAVE TO cancel it!"

"... That would be true... but also... so would your cottage... "

"... Never mind."

"Fluttershy... do you think Ponyville when it was built was completely devoid of any fauna or flora? Like where this office is? Or Manehattan? I've asked the -certified- ecological experts, and they say the impact will not be catastrophic. As populations grow so does their infrastructure. ... Besides... how do you think all those construction workers are going to feed their families? Being paid to run off in defeat and being lectures on forest conversation?"

"... I'll be going now."

Session 39.6 Kendell2 (Spoilers, Finale)

"Now this is my kind of game," Chrysalis said, sitting on her throne and overlooking thirteen Changelings. "Queen says 'Celestia surrenders'."

One of the Changelings turned into Celestia. "Queen Chrysalis, I am no match for you. I surrender. But only if you leave my little ponies alone," the changeling replied, managing a near perfect impersonation of the Princess of the Day.

"Wonderful job!" the Queen replied. "Queen says 'Luna surrenders.'"

The Changeling next to that one morphed into a perfect copy of Luna. "You are right sister. Chrysalis and her armies have grown far too powerful for us to hope to defeat!"

Chrysalis smirked. "Wonderful. Queen says 'Twilight is defiant.'"

Another Changeling transformed into Twilight Sparkle and took on a completely defiant and angry look. "You won't get away with this Chrysalis!"

"Good. Queen says 'Twilight is beaten'..." Chrysalis said, and fired a beam. Nowhere near her full strength, blasting the Changeling to the ground where he (mostly) pretended to be knocked out cold. Chrysalis' face showed she enjoyed that a bit TOO much.

"Alright, my changelings. It seems we're ready..." Chrysalis replied, rising from her throne. "And none of you have said a peep about this to the outside world yet?"

"No, my queen. IF any spies overheard us outside of the castle, they believe you are pursuing an artifact with no real power," replied one of the Changelings. "And several changelings genuinely were told that."

"Good..." Chrysalis said, trotting over to the window and looking out at HER kingdom...and laughed.

=My Lullaby - Lion King II=

"Get ready my changelings, prepare to take wing,
After waiting oh so long, they will know our sting!" she sung, flying back to the middle of the room and closing any entrance.

"I've been beaten, humiliated,
To which I take great offense!
When I think of what those two did,
I get a little tense!" she song, her magic projecting an image of Cadence and Shining Armor with a snarl.

She then smiled and laid on her throne in a relaxed fashion. "But I dream a dream so pretty,
That I don't feel so depressed.
Cause it soothes my inner filly,
And it helps me get some rest."

"The sound of Cadence's frightened gasp!
Her daughter squealing in my grasp!" she song, suddenly jumping up with a viscous look on her face.

"Her kingdom believing my lies!
That's my lullaby!" she sung, morphing into Cadence while the Changelings around her bowed to her in the guise of Crystal Ponies.

"Now the past I've tried forgetting,
And my foes I could forgive," she sung, pulling a O&O board from a closet...

"Trouble is, I know it's petty,
But I hate to let them live!" she roared, burning the board to a cinder.

The Changelings in the room turned into the Mane Six, Spike, Celestia, Luna, Cadence, Shining Armor, and Flurry Heart.

"So you/yah found yourself/yerself somelings,
That can be them for all to see," they sung, each in an good mimic of the pony they were copying.

"Give them a rude awakening,
And let them know it's from me!" Chrysalis sung back, flying up as changelings poked out of the walls by the dozens.

"The melody of hungry growls!" she sung, her army giving ravenous snarls and growls in response.
"A counterpoint of startled howls!"

The 'mane six' pretended to be the ponies in question being caught unaware by the swarm.

"Deceit's grand symphony, oh my!
That's my lullaby!" Chrysalis sung, the swarm flying around her.

"My mask is gone, no where to be found,
I hope they're not too sad,
The queen is back! Free and unbound!
Oh how I missed being bad!" she continued, having the drones pile every game she'd accumulated into a pile which she burned to a cinder. She landed on the ashes, crushing the last piece that'd remained untouched. For a moment she felt a little sad...moment past, back to megalomania!

"Get ready for our great coup my little changelings!
For their love I know you long! So you'll eat like kings!" the Changeling queen sung, her Changelings cheering.

"Now it's time to settle the score!
We'll shake their kingdom to the core!
The joy of vengeance!"

"Testify!" called one particularly viscous looking Changeling.

"Oh they should be fearing,
This, our greatest lie!
Payback time is nearing,
And then our flag will fly!
Against their lovely sky!" Chrysalis sung, the swarm flying around her with two raising a flag behind her.

"That's my lullaby! HAHAHAHAHA!" the queen cackled as her dark stone throne pulsed with eldritch magic and the room darkened until only Chrysalis' laughing visage could be seen.

Session 39.7 Grogar-The-Onser and Ardashir

TImeline A

"You idiots actually manage to grab her!" Chrysalis said at the sight of the cocooned Flurry Heart. "I gotta tell you... I'm honestly impress you lot manage to successfully capture her this time. How were you able to do it?"

"We kept singing a lullaby to keep her asleep," A changeling said.

"... Really that all it took?" Chrysalis said.

"Yeah but it wasn't a perfect method, those singing off keys were punched through the wall." The changeling shrugged.

"Well, whatever works." Chrysalis shrugged.

"I can't feel my face," another changeling groaned.

"Hopefully it goes as smoothly with the other acquisitions.

+

A changeling dragged Rarity off her bed, cackling all the while.

+

A changeling gulped as he carefully carried Fluttershy while sneaking past Harry the bear, who might attack him if woken up (or worse, try to find Discord) before he made it to the safety of the hive. 'Why do I get the scary jobs.' the changeling thought.

+

"I can't see why we can't slit the dragon's throat." A changeling grumbled/ "A dragon nearly killed my great hive forebear when our kind was trapped in a volcano."

"The queen told you, he's too much of an adored figure in the Crystal Empire to simply killed. Plus as a friend of that traitor Thorax, she gets the chance to use a particular nightmare scenario for his cocoon," a second said as it took Twilight's crown and pose in front of a mirror.

+

Pinkie yawned as she went to get a glass of water. A changeling sneaks up on her holding a baseball bat menacingly, he got in close and gently tapped her in the head. She fell like a sack of hammers.

"There is no possible way that should have work," the changeling muttered.

+

Applejack and Rainbow Dash panted, both were checking out an adventure movie when changelings attacked them, they were able to escape via the exit.

"Why the heck is Chrysalis' hive attacking now?!" Rainbow asked.

"Guess she found a game-changer," Applejack panted. The streets were empty as most ponies were asleep. Both stop to see changeling glaring at them. "Aw horse-" Before AJ could finish a changeling blasted her knocking her out cold.

"AJ!" Rainbow said but was tackled by the changeling. Both tumbled a bit but Rainbow used her hind legs and kicked the changeling off her but a second changeling was more prepare as he fired a blast hitting RD spot on. Rainbow Dash groaned as the two changeling got near her.

"No..." Rainbow moaned as one raised a hoof, and all went to black.

"Such heroic nonsense."

Timeline B

"Shining! RUN!"

"I can't! I won't abandon --" Shining Armor turned and blasted one Changeling just as it leaped on him. The bug pony smashed into the wall and slid down it, leaving an imprint behind.

"Ow..."

Cadence stood in the midst of a swarm of Changelings, her horn blazing as she hurled away one Changeling after another. Those who jeeringly thought of her as merely 'the pretty pony princess' would have been stunned and even terrified to see just how fierce she could be when she had to.

"Just GO!" She cried at her husband. "They don't just want us! They want Flurry too!"

Shining's eyes went wide, and he charged out of the throne room, leaving her embattled wife behind to protect the other most important life in the world to him. It took only moments for him to reach the nursery.

He gasped to see little Flurry crying as a pair of Changelings were carrying her towards a waiting cocoon.

"MONSTERS!" He charged into the room in full rage shift, almost ablaze with his own magic. "Get away from my daughter, you! --"

Which was the moment when a dozen Changelings dropped on him from above. One immediately snapped a restraining lock on his horn. For all his rearing and hoof-boxing and kicking, they soon had him down.

"Her Majesty was right," one of the Changelings chittered laughter. "They did act like fools when we went after their puny nymph." It looked at the helplessly furious Flurry Heart. "Why was anyling afraid of some useless brat, anyway?"

Shiny just cried out the 'unlocking' words on his daughter's restraining spell.

"Flurry! Do you want to see an aardvark?"

Flurry's eyes suddenly glowed. She began to struggle with greater strength. The Changelings holding her tried to restrain her -- and with screams both of them were sent hurling through the nearest wall.

Wings outspread, her horn alight, and squalling in infant fury, Flurry flew at the Changelings who'd just stuffed her father into a cocoon.

They had one collective reaction.

"This is gonna suck."

Five minutes later, the still furious Flurry Heart was flying down the hallway, leaving a devastated nursery and groaning Changeling foalnappers behind her. Her father's cocoon floated along with her, held by her magic. Flurry 'sensed' Cadence's presence down this way, the familiar combination of magical energy and physical scent that meant 'Momma' to her.

Along the way some of the other Changelings tried stopping her. After a moment or two the even angrier Flurry Heart left them in silent heaps as she passed by.

Then: "Flurry! Oh, darling!"

"Momma!" Flurry flew straight to Cadence where she stood in the hallway, accompanied by Crystal Guards. Cadence embraced her little daughter. "Flurry love Momma."

"And I," Chrysalis snarled as she changed back to herself and began draining Flurry's potent love and magic, along with her Royal Guards, "love feasting on silly foals like you, you brat!"

Flurry tried blasting her away, but one of the Changelings snapped a restraining lock on her horn. In moments Flurry was helpless, beyond angrily biting several Changelings as they forced her into the cocoon. They whimpered and lingered over their hurts as they returned to Chrysalis' side.

"You've dealt with my son Vordul, you've been bitten harder than that," she snapped at them. "Now get moving! Three of you replace these three vermin," she kicked the cocoon of Cadence's they'd dragged along. "The sooner it's done, the sooner I will finally rule Equestria!"

++++

"AHH!" Prism Bug shouted as she fell out of her cot.

"Darn it Prism, it too early for this," Apple Moth growled.

"Wha..." Prism Bug blinked. " Apple Moth I had this weirdest dream! We were both ponies, and I was a member of a special aerial team while you were a apple farmer, and the hive attacked us!"

"... Were you over-eatin' the love from those creature from lovey-dovey land again?" Apple Moth asked annoyed.

"I can't help what I dream, especially one that felt so real!"

"Well, try to dream less realistically. We have a big day tomorrow!... Also just cause Ah have Apple in the name doesn't automatically make me a farmer."

"Then why do you have farming magazines?" Prism bug questioned.

"None of your business!" Apple Moth snapped.

+

"HYAH" Desmoxytes Purpurosea shouted (She keeps trying to start the nickname Pinkie, but it wasn't sticking) with her axe at the giant who roared in pain.

"Hurry up with that MP restoration!" Prism Bug shouted.

"Alright I'm casting it!" Proboscis said as she use the MP given to her by the stylish Queen Chrysalis to restore Golden Bug magic.

"FIREBALL!" Golden Bug shouted.

"Poison Slash!" Antimachus shouted as she hit the creature head on, it poofed into smoke giving out experience.

"Good work. We have successfully claim victory for the hive!" Prism Bug shouted.

"FOR THE HIVE!"

+

"So for the most part, the queen's enemies are stuck inside cocoons thinking they're changeling in a RPG," a changeling guard stated.

"Yes! What part of that aren't you getting?!"

"Don't bite my head off, I just find it weird is all." The guard said defensively. He looked at the queen who horn as glowing as she touched Cadence's cocoon. "Makes me wonder what she's doing inside there."

+

"My queen, we have them on the ropes, what do you suggest we do next?" Honeymoon Fly asked.

"Lead them into the trap Cad- Honeymoon Fly," Chrysalis stated. "Let them think they're masters of their destiny when in truth there going to suffer the machination of my plan."

"Yes my queen!" Honeymoon Fly said as she flew away.

'Mental note, make sure no one realize i'm still playing RPGs with these idiotic prisoners/trophies, even if it is on my terms,' Chrysalis thought. It wouldn't matter after she'd enslaved all of Equestria and publicly executed Thorax and Kevin. 'Maybe I'll brainwash the zebra into a pole dancer. And lobotomize Luna and Celestia to being just sun/moon moving zombies. And I won't have to channel so much magic to the two impersonating them right now to pull off the farce. They'll like being my changeling minions by the time I'm done playing with them.'

Spike meanwhile was great fierce dragon... in a goth dragon slayer campaign... playing every dragon as the vampires, ghouls, mummies, flesh-golems. and werewolves got him. Over and over.

"Pupa! STOP! Playing with that one!" Chrysalis snorted.

"But we're playing Crystals and Rainbows 3.5!" Pupa said as her horn glowed touching Flurry Heart's prison, Flurry Heart's mind currently in the happy go-lucky land of Crystals and Rainbows hugging sourpuss after sourpuss raising her friendship points with her best friend Princess Pupa of the Flutterponies and defeating the evil muffins who didn't want to be eaten.

(PS Pinkie Pie insect name on the real life pink millipede species) http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01206/millipede_1206254i.jpg

While Fluttershy is based off of this species of butterflies http://hubpages.com/education/Worlds-most-poisonous-butterfly-Austrlias-smallest-butterfly-review

Rarity's name of proboscis comes from the part of the mosquito that drains blood.

Golden Bug (Legend of zelda twilight princess reference).

Session 39.8 Mtangalion and Alex Warlorn

Alisa said, "Mistress Rarity's Little Sister! Will give you big stack of favors to remove 'safe word!"

AJ said, "And Ah'll give ya a yearly supply of Zap Apple Jam till yer eighteen to keep it on!"

-And a while later-

"Hey! Where did all my mind-control suppressing coffee go?" Gilda snapped, seeing paw prints.

"This could go on a while," Starlight said looking out a telescope.

"Oh no it isn't!" Twilight stamped her hoof. "Enough with the mind cotrol!" Twilight teleported in front of Alisa who was smuggling out with Gilda's anti-mind control coffee. "Alisa! From now on you limit your game to consenting ponies!"

-

Alisa cheered. "Hah! Alisa has transformed Apple Pony into Diamond Wolf with her tricksy magic!" There was a note near her that read ominously, 'You Now Owe Discord One Favor.' She put on some earmuffs and blews the whistle.

Applejack blinked, "... was somethin' supposed to happen?"

Rarity said, "I always knew Applejack was lacking in that department."

Alisa's ears drooped. "But, it worked on Big Macwolf just fine..."

Princess Twilight used the Royal Canterlot Voice, "Enough with the unlawful transformations too."

"Pinkie cheered. "What you need is a pony whistle!"

Twilight shouted. "No, don't blow that!"

Twilight shuddered. "It's a good thing I have batpony hearing, and those whistles can't affect my subconscious. On the other hoof... OW."

Starlight's lit up. "I'm going to mind control everyone to ignore all other mind control they're under! Nothing can go wrong with this plan!"

Twilight whacked her with a news paper. "NO! Bad Starlight! Bad!"

Pinkie Pie nodded. "You'd also make Rarity act like a tomboy and Rainbow Dash act like a girlie girl."

Starlight's eyes widened. "What?"

Pinkie Pie shrank away. "NOTHING!"

Windy Whisper stuck her head out her window. "Would you ponies stop blowing those whistles already! Can I be at the table again? Typical, forgetting all about me for twenty game sessions..."

+

Meanwhile in the human world...

Spike The Dog stood on his hind legs with his foreleg stiffly out like a zombie. "What is thy command oh master?"

Sci-Twi said, "You can start by not fighting with Sunset's new dog, Garble."

"And you command my master."

Sunset tilted her head concerned. "Is using a dog whistle on Spike now that he's a sapient being really ethical?"

"What would happen if I told him to 'dragon-up' ... Wait, that wasn't a command... yet..."

"Well that was anti-climatic." Starlight said, Spike now having a draconic tail and scales... oh and he breathed fire too.

"Hey! Sunset! Twilight! Look what Ah found sleepin' underneath the Apple farm! Ah named 'er Winona... she is a girl right?" Applejack asked riding a big brown dragon.

Human Alisa strolls in. "What is Mistress's bidding?"

Sci-fi Twilight felt the urge to pull her hair out. "What are you all doing in my house?!"

"Alisa will answer, Mistress! Alisa was spying on you to learn the secrets of pegasus costumes that really fly."

Sci Fi Twilight shook her head. "There is no way, in the world, a dog whistle would affect you. Therefore, I fainted when I saw Applejack's dragon. I'm dreaming aren't I?"

Princess Luna said behind her. "Just ignore me please."

Sunset puts on a she-demon costume that Alisa just made. "Command me... Mistress Twilight..."
Princess Luna grins and keeps her dream camera aimed at the action.

"Should we wake her up now?" Sunset asked as Winona kept licking Twilight with her giant tongue.

Session 39.9 Ardashir

Princess Twilight (visiting Canterlot High) asked, "Are you sure wearing that's a good idea? I mean, given what's happened here in the past."

"I've learned to handle it. Besides, I see two somebodies I need to speak to..." Sunset said looking like Nightmare Inferno.

Sunset Snuck up behind Snips and Snails. "Hey guys? BOO! Remember me?"

Snips cheered. "Look! Our Mistress of Evil has returned!"

Snails smiled and nodded. "Transform us once again, oh bride of darkness! So we can terrorize all the jocks and shop kids and band members and Fluttershy's stoner hippie pals and -- well, everyone in the school, really! Because they all keep treating us like we're miserable creeps for some reason."

Sunset rolled her eyes. "Yeah, it's a mystery to me why that happens."

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 39.5 Alex Warlorn
Session 39.6 Kendell2 (Spoilers, Finale)
Session 39.7 Grogar-The-Onser and Ardashir
Session 39.8 Mtangalion and Alex Warlorn
Session 39.9 Ardashir

Cover image by http://dsana.deviantart.com http://dsana.deviantart.com/art/Grasp-of-the-Purple-Claw-637350818

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Session 40 (finale spoilers)

Session 40.0 Kendell2 (S6 finale spoilers)

(Author's Nots: Placed after the events of the episode.

Also, note that some things were different due to character divergence.

Such as Trixie being the mane six's FRIEND already.)

"I can't believe TRIXIE sacrificed herself to get you through," Rainbow Dash commented, the group sat in Our Town after Chrysalis' defeat. She admitted, it was humiliating that they'd been caught off guard like that. Especially given she was a Wonderbolt.

The group did what they normally did when they'd been through something traumatic: play Crystals and Rainbows Generation 3.5.

The showmare, after a surprising ride on a flying pig, gave a proud pose. "Trixie is more brave than most give her credit for!"

"You should have seen her when we found out what happened," Starlight replied, eating the cupcake she'd asked for upon arrival.

-

"So...the Changelings have taken our friends...we need to do something," Trixie remarked after their spying on the Changeling seven. Her legs were shaking.

"You're...not freaking out?" Starlight asked.

"Of course Trixie isn't!" Trixie said. 'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!' Trixie THOUGHT. "Trixie's...friends are in danger...she's not a coward! If she'd stand up to an U-Ursa for her ego, she's not about to abandon her friends!"

"Well...Queen Chrysalis only said they took Luna and Celestia and obviously Twilight and the others... but maybe Cadance is still safe. Our best bet is to get to the Crystal Empire before the changelings do. That way we can-" Starlight replied, before a voice cut her off.

"There's no help coming from the Crystal Empire," replied Thorax, descending on his glittering wings.

"CHANGELING!" Trixie shouted, charging up her horn and preparing to attack before Starlight put her in a shield bubble.

-

"In Trixie's defense, Thorax looks very similar to every other Changeling Drone...or he did before he evolved into a Changeling King," Trixie replied. Then again, who knows what that magic blocker would do to a dragon. "Trixie WANTED to go get Master Babylon and have him come with us, but Chrysalis apparently knew we knew him and had Changeling Spike send Mina and him on a wild goose chase..."

"Chrysalis was smart...Thankfully, Thorax promises he'll help us develop countermeasures..." Twilight replied. "...Not that she has much left...Her children went with her, but that was it..."

"...Do you think she misses playing with us?" Fluttershy asked, rolling her dice.

+

"I rolled a seven," said Chrysalis, in the guise of Twilight. She then rushed to the other side of the O&O board and returned to her true form before doing the defense roll. "The ugly, equality obsessed tyrant takes massive damage!"

The former queen cackled madly, eyes twitching. "SEE! I DON'T NEED ANYPONY ELSE! I'M FINE!"

The handful of drones that were still loyal to her watched in disbelief (six so far plus her three children). "Should we tell her we're still here?" one asked, their new 'lair' being a random cave. All the Changelings had various bruises and wounds.

"No, let her vent," replied another. "Besides, if we played with her in THAT condition, we'd all be playing Starlight Glimmer and she'd be a killer GM."

"You mean like when we were trapped in our own castle after the Comet incident and she made us all be Twilight?"

"Exactly."

Princess Imago, meanwhile, threw a temper tantrum. "I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT STUPID TRAITOR OVERTHREW MOM!" she yelled, kicking a random rock. "I WAS SUPPOSED TO OVERTHROW MOM!"

Her brother merely tried to eat a rock while Pupa played with another one.

+

"Well regardless, she's never invited to game night again," Rarity replied with a glare.

Before Starlight could response, a familiar sight came galloping up. "Sunburst?!"

"Cadence told me you'd be here, are you alright?!" Sunburst asked, looking completely ragged.

"Yes, I'm fine!" Starlight replied, hugging him. "What about you? You look terrible."

Sunburst sighed. "I've spent the past two days keeping those impostors away from any source of love I could..."

"Sounds hard..." the unicorn replied sheepishly.

"Oh, it was...especially without them realizing I was onto them...or the Crystal Ponies realizing their leaders had been kidnapped...I had to come up with so many different ways to keep them busy."

"Really? How many?"

"ALL OF THEM!" Sunburst replied, then sighed. "...Anyway, they came back and dealt with the fakes..."

The mane six's eyes went wide. "Oh...right...those are still a thing..." Twilight replied, realizing that was probably why the Princesses and those three had left the party in a hurry.

"DISCORD! TELEPORT! NOW!" Rainbow Dash called.

"Please?" Fluttershy asked. She then looked to their hosts. "Um...we'll be back as soon as we deal with something...okay?"

+

The impostor seven were playing a game of Crystals and Rainbows 3.5. "Queen Chrysalis hasn't contacted us in awhile..." 'Twilight' asked. "Something must be wrong..."

"What could be wrong?" asked 'Applejack.' "Who's LEFT?"

Suddenly, a flash, Discord, the Mane Six, and Spike appeared right next to them.

"Okay, here's the deal, your queen got overthrown and the new king has a way to end your hunger!" Twilight explained, patiently. "You can go back to the Changeling Kingdom and meet the new boss-"

"FOR THE QUEEN!" yelled the Rainbow Dash impostor, charging her.

"...Should have seen that coming..." Twilight replied...right as Rainbow Dash tackled her doppelganger and put her Wonderbolts training to good use. "Let's clean this up and get back to the party."

OOC: I imagine the impostors probably escape, but given they're the ones being ambushed and DISCORD is there at full power, there's no way of winning that one...

Session 40.1 Alex Warlorn(S6 finale spoilers)

The Fake Rarity scoffed at the real deal. "HA! You couldn't possible hit this beautiful face darling!"

Rarity twitched, and then cried, pulling in her chaise longue. "It's true!"

Rainbow Dash snorted. "They wanted to steal all of Sweetie's love for you...literally!"

"Oh I already spent lots of lovely (and delicious) time with her, and your parents, and your cat, and Buttons, and Suri, and Sassy, and Coco, and Plaid, and I'm not helping my case am I darling?"

"NO!" Rarity hit her fake over the head with her chaise longue.

The real Applejack and Rainbow Dash gave death glares at their imposters, logically concluding they'd been up to the same thing.

"Uh, would you like to know Soarin' love for you tasted extra sweet?!"

Rainbow's eyes brightened with sparkles. "Really?!"

Her fake sucker punched her and flew for it. "NO!"

+

Meanwhile as Chrysalis realized she's was talking to a hallucination of herself. "...I am incredibly lonely..."

One of her minions said, "I'm here..."

"I'm incredibly lonely because no one on my level is here!"

"Well technically you're on ou-"

Chrysalis shot him an Insane death glare. "What was that?"

"Nothing!"

"Nothing what?!"

"Nothing Your Majesty!"

*at a different time and place, maybe earlier, maybe later*

Chrysalis stood outside the Crystal Empire, and shouted, "Cadence! I'm back for game night!" And quickly had to dodge a shot from a bazooka shell fired from Cadence from her royal balcony.

"Missed," Cadence snorted.

"HEY!" Chrysalis waved her forelegs. "Let's not be so hasty! Or forget all the good times we had! I know I kidnapped you and every pony you loved, and tried to enslave your species, but that doesn't mean we can't hang out."

Flurry Heart putted another shell in the bazooka for her mother, giggling. "YOU SWORE REVENGE!"

"But I didn't vow revenge on you or your loved ones! Unless that hurts Starlight Glimmer of course." Chrysalis dodged another shot from the bazooka, but it leaves a hole in her mane.

Session 40.2 Grogar The Onser(S6 finale spoilers)

Meanwhile with Celestia and Luna, they changeling imposters were already gone, and some other stuff as well!

"NO! Why did those cruel monsters do this!?" Celestia said.

"Sister, all they did was steal everything from your private cake fault," Luna deadpanned.

+

"And that's how we made our epic escape!" A changeling said.

"Epic? when you realize that 'lost contact with the hive' equaled 'something went wrong' you both left your post only stealing cake!" Imago said annoyed.

"They are the greatest hero ever known," her brother said happily as he ate stolen bake goods. "This is so good!"

"So should we call your grandmother asking for amnesty now or wait till the Queen's done with what she doing?" the changeling said pointing to Chrysalis was mauling a Starlight Glimmer doll with her teeth (Where did she get it, no one knows).

Session 40.3 SomeRandomMinion(S6 finale spoilers)

Twilight and her double shared an awkward, halfhearted staredown.

"So...can I just sit this out?" the fake asked hopefully, averting her gaze. "I've...kinda had nightmares about having to fight you. Bad ones."

Twilight saw her double trembling. She held her glare, but some of its edge softened. "You impersonated me and didn't take our offer of surrender...but I won't force you to endure a fight you can't win." Her horn lit up. "Just one quick zap, and you can wait this out. But it's gonna knock you unconcious; be ready for headaches and slight memory loss."

"...Better than being turned into a bookmark for the rest of my life, I guess."

"...I don't even know that spell!" *ZAP! Thud!*

Session 40.4 Alex Warlorn(S6 finale spoilers)

"Did Twilight just get sucker zapped? While she was explaining she didn't know that spell?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Those weasels sure turned and ran within a few SECONDS of startin' that 'fight'."

"Applejack, some of my friends are weasels." 'Shy's double had run away crying before Fluttershy could even use the stare.

Spike's had run away with his tail on fire.

And Pinkie Pie... had hit her enemy in the face with a pie 128 times and had just run for it going 'Meep! Meep!'

Applejack's fake had fled with a broke jaw after getting a taste of AJ's strength.

"Ya know what Ah meant Fluttershy! Why aren't we chasin' after 'em?"

"Same reason we didn't chase after Chrysalis I'm guess." Rarity said.

Pinkie Pie said, "Oh you mean like how, Chrysalis now has no power, no army, no kingdom, no authority, she's no loner the queen of the changeling kingdom so she no longer has diplomatic immunity, and no population of wuv cats to feed off of, no home base to retreat to. Has nothing left, and we ponies have this odd tradition of not even locking up bad guys who aren't a threat anymore... except Tirek for some reason, I guess because he's not a girl, he's lower on the 'redemption' scale."

"Oh... I guess..." Rarity said. "I mean that our real priority is checking on our loved ones and coworkers and see what damage their parasitic feeding have done."

Starlight poked at the black insects on the table. "We do have one means left of talking with Chrysalis... Mana signal untraceable, of course, but still..."

-

A communication aura appeared in front of the queen. "Hello Chrysalis, want to turn yourself in? Or should this legally be recorded as exile?" Twilight's face asked.

The queen quickly hide the O&O gear behind her back. "That's QUEEN Chrysalis!"

"Not anymore."

"SHUT UP! I am still queen of the true changelings!"

"You have your three nymphs, and 13 drones. You don't count as a battleon, or a hamlet, let alone a kingdom."

"I'm a government in exile!"

Twilight rolled her eyes.

"For the sake of your nymphs, just turn yourself in. We both know whatever sick revenge scheme you think of is just going to backfire-"

Chrysalis turned off the communication on her end with a thought.

"Your Majesty, maybe we could just ask your mother for political asylum?"

"Over your dead body."

"My queen I believe the proper phrasing is-"

"I know what I said."

"Yes Your Majesty."

-

"HEY! JERKS! They stole my limit edition Daring Do RPG rule book!" Rainbow Dash snarled.

"I guess Locust really is a Daring Do fan..." Twilight sighed.

"Who?"

"Chrysalis' guardpony."

"Oh."

"Might as well find what else they stole-"

"AAAGHHH!!! My holographic cover Power Ponies #141! They stole it!"

"No they didn't Spike, it's just between the couch cushions again."

"Oh, sorry."

Session 40.5 Alex Warlorn(S6 finale spoilers)

"You could have helped Discord." Twilight said.

"I'm not really used to using my magic to really 'constrain' mortal ponies without horrifically traumatizing them, and you said that was a no no."

"Starlight... didn't we leave you at the party with Trixie?" Spike asked.

"Uh, FLASH BOMB!"And one blinding flash later, the last changeling had fled.

Session 40.6 Mtangalion(S6 finale spoilers)

-- sometime earlier --

Starlight, Trixie, Thorax, and Discord stood on a ledge overlooking Queen Chrysalis' castle, in the heart of the Badlands.

"Why does everyone keep asking *me* what we should do?" fretted Starlight. "After all the times I've royally messed up, I'm the last pony who should ever be in charge of anything!"

"Ahem!" Trixie grinned sharply. "Fear not, my good friend, for the Great and Powerful Trixie, Grand Mistress of Games and Clever Stratagems, is here! First, while we're on the outside of the bubble, Discord will snap his fingers and instantly apprehend all of the changelings impersonating our friends."

"I will?" Discord pondered this, then waved his claw, conjuring an imagine spot over Trixie's head that showed everything she was talking about. "Oh, I see!"

Thorax frowned. "So, all of the fake princesses will disappear, and no one will know what happened?"

Trixie hesitated. "We will inform the guard captains, the Wonderbolts, and Mayor Mare, of course."

Discord clapped his paws. "And word will spread of the changeling conquest, throwing everypony into utter panic! Brilliant!"

"We can deal with that later!" insisted Trixie. "After we mobilize all the armies of Equestria to help us defeat the changelings."

"Um..." Thorax raised a hoof. "But when I said only changeling magic, I meant *only* changeling magic. Can your earth pony soldiers fight without their strength? Or your pegasi without flying?"

Starlight paced back and forth. "Maybe... we can get help from somewhere else. Like the dragons! Why, ex-Dragon Lord Torch alone could probably sit on that castle and snap that evil throne like a twig. If Discord teleports Ember over here and explains that Spike's been captured, I'm sure she'll agree to that plan!"

-- five minutes later ---

Dragon Lord Ember folded her forearms across her chest. "There's no way I can agree to that plan! Do you think my father can even lift his hundred-ton flank off the ground without magically enhanced flight and muscles?"

Trixie groaned. "Trixie supposes that rules out Gerulf and the other Gigantes too."

-- another five minutes later --

Prince Rutherford stamped his hoof. "Chrysalis pulled off perfect ponynapping, so yaks no smash!"

-- yet another five minutes later --

"General" Garin of the Griffonstone Freelance Guard shook his head firmly. "My griffons won't do it... for less than forty-thousand bits! Half in advance."

Starlight grinned hopefully at Discord. "A small price to pay..."

"Not on your life," exclaimed Discord. "The last time I made it rain bits, Prince Blueblood didn't stop hitting me with a hardbound copy of Atlas Neighed until I made every last bit disappear again."

-- sometime after that --

Discord snapped his fingers expectantly, and only got a busy signal. "Odd. I can't seem to bring Queen Blackrose here."

Thorax cringed. "Why would you do that?! You're the Curser! Doesn't she hate you with the fury of a hundred burning suns?!"

Discord blinked. "Well, yes and... yes. Alas, it's such a pity that we can't all let bygones by bygones!"

Thorax sighed. "Actually, I don't like you either."

Starlight glanced around, puzzled. "You know, I'm kind of surprised Alisa isn't here, with her mistress being in danger and all."

-- back in Ponyville --

"Rutabaga flowers are better than apples!" sang out changeling-Rarity.

Immediately, Alisa took off her Bon Bon disguise, then froze, cornered by the whole of the imposter Mane Six. "Real Apple pony is getting her flank chomped for this," she grumbled.

-- STILL on that ledge ---

Discord yanked on his beard, then fumed at a pocket watch and crushed it in his claw. "This is getting us nowhere! At this rate, we're going to be a three-parter, and I know they didn't budget for that. This misfit band of plucky adventurers needs to be marching into Chrysalis' castle to save Fluttershy, twenty-five minutes ago!"

"Well, it's a little late for that now!" retorted Starlight.

Discord chuckled darkly. "Oh, it's never too late." He snapped his fingers.

-- twenty-five minutes ago --

"We need to get moving right away!" said Starlight.

Trixie paused just long enough to pose on the cliff's edge, with her cape fluttering dramatically. "Alas, there is no time for a cunning plan! At least Trixie brought plenty of smoke bombs."

Session 40.7 Ardashir(S6 finale spoilers)

Chrysalis set her O&O game down and stomped over to several of her Changelings as they buzzed in and dropped down before her.

"I thought all the infiltrators were back?"

Her last Royal Guard, recently promoted to General, saluted her.

"No, oh Great Queen, these are the infiltrators you had in non-Equestrian nations. They made a bid for sanctuary and official recognition. They have returned with the results."

"Good." Chrysalis eyed them with wary hope. "Let us learn if any of the other cattle on this planet have the sense to recognize true royalty when it appeals to them." She looked at the first one. "Blood Flea, report!"

A battered-looking Changeling stepped forward. "My Queen, Prince Erik of the Diamond Wolves said that if you came to his ice caves, he would treat you precisely as you deserved and make you a scat hauler if the ponies refused to imprison you. They would also be happy to teach you how to 'use disguises with intelligence so you don't get caught again'."

"That mangy mongrel!" Chrysalis snarled. "I''ll deal with him later. The rest of you, report!"

And even more badly battered Changeling staggered forward.

"Prince Rutherford of the Yaks just yelled, 'Stupid bug ponies fail at everything! Changelings not perfect! Yaks smash!' I don't really remember much after that." He sank unconscious to the floor with a groan.

A scorched looking Changeling came up.

"Dragon Lady Ember said she wouldn't sacrifice her new relations with Equestria just to take in a backstabbing narcissistic egomaniac."

"But will she take mom - I mean, Queen Chrysalls?" Imago piped up. Her mother and the other Changelings all glared at her. Imago shrank and slunk further back into the cave.

"Your majesty," a third Changeling came forward, "the Griffons wanted to know why they should help some penniless beggar who'd just take them over if they did."

Chrysalis looked around at her 'diplomats' and groaned. Halfway through she turned it into a fangs baring sneer. "Bah! I don't need them! I'll find a way, and -- now what?!?"

The last Changeling of her 'diplomats' recoiled, a book in their claws.

"Neigh-pon wasn't any more helpful, majesty. They said that they would never allow some deceitful bakemono into their land. But I was able to take this with me." It held the book out. Chrysalis snatched it in disgust.

"Fool! What shall I do with ---" Only then did she notice the title: How I Conquered An Empire With Less Than Twenty Followers, by Oda Nobu-neigh-ga.

Chrysalis slowly bared her snaggle fangs in a smile.

Session 40.8 Kendell2(S6 finale spoilers)

"There's only one problem..." replied the drone.

"Yes?"

"We're not in the middle of a country spanning civil war with multiple sides and your sister would never be convinced to help us..." the drone replied.

Chrysalis's eye twitched in rage.

Session 40.9 SomeRandomMinion(S6 finale spoilers) (edits by me)

Queen Blackrose listened as her daughter Supia jeered at Chrysalis' total defeat, and now reduced to living like a bandit and as a fugitive, she tolerated this for a short while before nipping it in the bug.

Queen Blackrose said, "I seem to remember YOU lot having a few failed conquests back in the day. Supia--remember a certain Diamond Dog admiral a few centuries back? How he kept hounding your hive's fleets with those armored turtle-ships...and once fired a broadside of cannonballs right at your backside?"

Supia, shamefaced, quivered her mandibles. "Mother! I thought you'd never bring up that mutt again!"

"You mean, Diamond Dog Admiral Yi?"

"Agh! Yes! That one!"

Session 40.10 Kendell2(S6 finale spoilers)

Blackrose rubbed her head as the set in her personal castle. The area had once been known as Flutter Valley, it was now called Avalon. "I can't believe we ALL fell for her tricks..."

"In my defense, I thought she was looking for an ancient artifact of immense power," Supia replied. "It turned out to just be a paper weight..."

"So did I...And considering he wasn't able to do anything, it looks like the other court didn't see anything either..." the Empress replied. She then gave an sad sigh. "If they hadn't stopped her, with all of THAT love, she'd have grown strong enough to be a threat to both of us and to all of you.... For her crimes against both our pony allies and intended crimes against us. I, Empress Blackrose Titania Avalon, declare Ex-Queen Chrysalis Avalon, BANISHED from our lands."

The group of Queens all gasped in horror. Supia put a gentle, though gigantic hoof on Blackrose's shoulder. The Mother of All Changelings did not take casting banishment lightly, just as Tiamat had only banished a handful of dragons in the thousands of year she'd been on Equus. "Are you sure, mother?"

Blackrose had tears going down her face. "Yes...Chrysalis has gone too far..."

-

Chrysalis gave a shudder. Why did she suddenly feel cold?

-

"...Regardless, onto other things..." Blackrose replied. She gave a smile. "Chrysalis' replacement: King Thorax."

"Oh yes...is he one of Chrysalis' sons?" Supia asked.

"Uncertain, given how her hive works. But that's the amazing thing he was not born royal," Blackrose explained. "He BECAME one."

The group's eyes went wide.

Queen Cicada jumped up, having been half asleep (she normally was quite lethargic when her kind were in their low energy phase and was only here because it was important).

"T-That's POSSIBLE?!" asked a Queen who had blue were Chrysalis had green and lacking the holes in her mane, her wings a bit more butterfly shaped.

"I didn't know it was either, but he did it...and I believe it's because he did something else that was thought impossible," the Changeling Empress replied, giving an amazed smile. "He BROKE the curse by finding out a way for Changelings to share their love with one another."

The room was silent, not an undropped jaw in the entire room.

"That...that's," said the Queen of Hive Chiron, the most intelligent of Blackrose's offspring. "I...I...We must speak with him."

"I have arranged a 'game night' with him and Princess Twilight Sparkle...but with any luck, maybe our kind will finally be free of our hunger for good."

Session 40.11 Ardashir(S6 finale spoilers)

As Applejack trotted along to their latest game night, running through ideas for what game she'd set up for her friends to play -- she knew they'd need to stay away from anything involving evil queens; the temptation to make her a stand-in for Chrysalis just so her friends could pound her would be too tempting -- she ran into Bon Bon and Lyra. Both wore saddle bags filled with spooky decorations and ingredients for making candy.

"Lyra," Applejack said warmly, and, "Bon Bon," in a slightly chillier tone. She nodded at the saddlebags. "Got everythin' for Nightmare Night? We had a good harvest this year, the apples will be sellin' at a nice price."

"Thanks, AJ," Lyra shook her head. "We have everything we need."

"Especially since the latest invasion of Ponyville is over," Bon Bon shuddered. "We should've guessed those Changelings weren't you and your friends. The way they acted! Fluttershy bullied everypony, Pinkie's jokes were mean, and you were eating pears!"

"Pears?" It was Applejack's turn to shudder. "Glad Ah missed it. Ah hope they didn't hurt nopony."

"No, but they did confuse us," Lyra said. "I asked Bonnie if she noticed Princess Twilight Sparkle and the rest of the Element Bearers were acting oddly recently right after that Royal Decree came from the Friendship Palace."

"Huh?" Applejack blinked. She scowled at Bon Bon, a little less harshly than she once would have. "What did ya say?"

Bon Bon shrugged.

"I said, 'Well, their tempers are a lot shorter, and Twilight did make that new law that 'all bug spray, pesticides, and pests traps are banned in Ponyville on pain of eternal exile', but other than that they seem normal to me'. I mean, you were being a jerk to me, after all!"

Session 40.12 Kendell2(S6 finale spoilers)

"Discord?" Fluttershy asked, tending to Angel Bunny. To her surprise, she found her brother hadn't been targeted and Cloudsdale had been too far away for her impostor to have had time to target their parents. Kevin had said it was probably because Zephyr 'stank like narcissism' and Changelings considered self-love 'junk food'. They could eat it, but it didn't do much for them.

"Yes, Fluttershy?" Discord asked, sitting and drinking tea.

"...You were very brave..."

Discord did a spit-take...which then went in reverse so he could swallow. "Fluttershy, bravery would require me being SCARED. And what am I afraid of?"

"...You had to go into somewhere where you were vulnerable...you always panicked before whenever you were against something that can actually hurt you."

Discord blinked. "...Well...I guess...I was just more worried about you than me..." the draconequus replied...then blinked in confusion. "I was more worried about YOU than ME...I don't think that's ever happened before..."

Fluttershy hugged him, getting a smile. "I'm proud of you."

+

"You know, Trixie...one good thing that came from this?" Twilight asked, playing Majong with her.

"Chrysalis' hive is now reformed and she's nothing but the leader of a band of thieves now?" Trixie asked in reply as she made her move.

"Well, yes...but...Now no one will remember the Ursa story..." the Princess replied, giving a smile. "You've got a much better story that's one hundred percent true you can tell now."

The azure unicorn blinked in confusion. "...Trixie...I...I guess you're right..." the unicorn replied, blinking. She thought about it. "...Trixie is a hero..."

"Yes, you are."

Trixie then chuckled. "...You know, it's weird...the entire time? I never THOUGHT about that...or about you 'owing me one'...I just thought about saving you all and helping my best friend..."

Twilight stared at her with wide-eyes and a dropped jaw.

"Trixie is as surprised as you are!" the unicorn replied. "TRIXIE was...SELFLESS! Trixie is many things, but SELFLESS?"

"...Felt good, didn't it?"

"...Yes...yes it did...also, Trixie just won."

"...Figures..." Twilight replied, then gave a warm smile.

Session 40.13 Ardashir(S6 finale spoilers)

"Dears, is this really a smart idea?" Rarity winced as she, together with Twilight (visiting for some relief and to fill Sunset in on developments after the recent events back home) and Sunset, walked up to a table at CrystalCon occupied by three familiar faces. "I know the town's annual Halloween parade is another bone of contention between Crystal Prep and Canterlot High, and I would love to see us win for once." She scowled as she saw several of the Shadowbolts, in cosplays that looked like they'd been done by Hollywood pros, strut by. "But can't we try something other than this? I have been talking to Alisa, she's quite skilled at making those 'fullsuits' and said she would love to help us."

"No, it isn't," Sunset said. "I like Alisa's costumes, but we need something special to win over Crystal Prep. The Shadowbolts' families see it as a big opportunity to promote their businesses and they always make something great." Sunset smacked her first into her palm. "I guess I see this as a game, and I'd like to see Canterlot High win it for once."

"Seems a bit extreme of you, just for a Nightmare Night parade," Twilight said, looking around at the con and its attendees with a mixture of awe, curiosity, and confusion.

"The school that wins first prize for best float gets half a dozen free college scholarships from the city, for any student they feel need them," Sunset smiled widely as they found the table they'd been looking for, one arrayed with signs and art of an underwater theme. "That's worth some effort."

"I still wonder about trusting," Rarity shuddered as they stopped at the table, "these three."

The Dazzlings looked up at the two Canterlot High students and Princess Twilight. Behind and above them a sign ran announcing that these were the three stars of the latest World of Horsecraft sidequest. It also offered signatures for --

"Fifty bucks each?" Sunset shook her head and glared at the Sirens. "You actually get buyers for that?"

"Whadda you three want?" Aria grumped, folding her arms over her chest. "And yeah, we get buyers for that. We're worth it."

Beside her Sonata was smiling as she write something down on paper for a male congoer.

"There ya go! Just like you asked. My name, my address, and the private phone number 'Dagi got for us -- hey!"

Adagio snatched the paper from the boy. "Sorry kid, that costs a LOT more than fifty bucks. Now scram!" He dejectedly left. She smirked up at Sunset and the rest. "Okay, what do want to hassle us for now? We're busy here."

"How would you three like to make some more money?" Now Sunset smirked when she saw the three Sirens give her all their attention. "Like, say, maybe a couple thousand?"

Aria looked around warily, leaned forward and whispered. "Okay, which one is it? They'll never see it coming -- Ow!"

She glared at Adagio, rubbing her head where she'd been slapped.

"Oh Aria, always joking." Adagio gave her a dirty look. "Tell us what you want, maybe we'll go for it. Where do you have a thousand bucks, anyway?"

"I'm curious myself," Rarity gave Sunset a curious look.

"On trips back home I picked up some bags of gemstones. They help pay for life here." Sunset leaned down over the Sirens. "All you three would need to do to earn it is to sit in a tank in front of everyone and look scary."

"Uh-huh," Aria frowned. "How are you gonna do that?"

Sunset smiled, and something in her smile made everyone there feel cold.

"Easy. For one night only, Twilight and I are going to turn you three back into Sirens. Physically only. No singing! You'll be the centerpiece of Canterlot High's 'Terrors of the Deep' float for the Halloween parade."

"What do you say?"

Session 40.14 Richforce(S6 finale spoilers)

Season 6 finale spoilers.

Chrysalis was setting up her O&O board when one of he loyal guards shouted. "Intruder, ACK!"

The guard was thrown into the lair unconscious as Maud Pie strolled in stoic as ever.

"What do you what?!" Chrysalis shouted. "How did you find this place.

"Pinkie thought that if I joined you for a game you wouldn't be so nasty."

"You still didn't answer my other question."

"Yes."

"But..." Chrysalis shook her head. "Never mind! Why should I let you play a game of O&O with me?!"

Maud took cookie out of her pocket. "Pinkie isn't the only one in the family who can bake. It's a cashew cookie, it's made with love."

Chrysalis was about to charge he magic when her stomach growled. "Fine, but only because I haven't had a decent meal since Starlight Glimmer dethroned me!" Chrysalis greedily gobbled down the treat. "Now what class are...HACK, GACK!"

As the changeling queen went into a coughing fit her guards came in. "Poison!"

"I didn't think you ponies would do something so evil!"

Maud just took out a cookbook from her bag. "Oops."

"What, HORK, do mean, HACK, oops?!!" Chrysalis was now coughing up black smoke that completely covered her.

"The pages were stuck. It didn't use the recipe for cashew cookies, I used the recipe for cat cookies."

"Like the lovely dove cats?" said a guard.

"That's not why they are called cat cookies." The smoke cleared away revealing a mean looking green eyed black cat. "That's why they are called cat cookies."

Chrysy-kitty strained herself. "Why can't I changed shape?!" she said in small high pitched voice.

"Cat cookies make you a cat," said Maud. "It's pretty self explanatory. The only cure is a cosmo-lotion potion."

"Then make one!"

"I can't make potions, goodbye."

Maud turned to leave Chrysalis' guards tried to stop her only to thrown against the wall. And like that Maud was gone.

"Chrysalis," Empress Blackrose said through a magic flame that appeared. The former Queen Rosedust looked over he wayward daughter's predicament. "I was going to ask as your mother how you felt about your exile, but now I can see you're just FELINE. HAHAHAHA!" Just as quickly she was gone.

Chrysy-Kitty turned to her minions. "Make a Cosmo-lotion, NOW!"

"It's going to take a month," said one. "And even then there's now guarantee it will make you changeling again and too much will turn you into a soggy hag if you keep trying it."

Chrysy-Kitty rose a paw skyward. "CURSE MEW MAUD PIE! HACK! HACK! Ugh, hairball!"

Session 40.15 Grogar-the-oneser(S6 finale spoilers)

"AGGHHH!!!" Chrysalis screamed as she looked around. "Oh thank goodness... that part was a dream... which means the Thorax thing was a dream too!"

"Your highness," Blood flea said, who was holding a shovel. "I have finished building the outhouse. What should we start on next for new life as brigands?"

"...." Chrysalis gave a annoyed look, she quickly took the shovel and thwacked Blood Flea unconcious with it.

-Meanwhile in the Human World-

"Whatcha working on?" Discord asked.

"AHH!" Thorax screamed as he fell out of his chair.

Discord peered at his screen. "My oh my, are these the changelings? they looked different than the design Chrysalis showed us."

"Oh those are the concept art I made for the compaign. She told me they weren't evil looking enough for her vision and told me to throw them away. But they look so good I couldn't just delete them," Thorax said. Discord said nothing but his smirk was growing. "Err... are you okay?"

"My dear fellow... you just give me a idea for the changeling campaign finale," Discord cackled.

Session 40.16 Kendell2(S6 finale spoilers)

Empress Blackrose and her offspring sat in the Empress' throne room, a golden jewel that glowed as bright as the sun on a rock pedestal high above, which seemed to keep Avalon in a state of perpetual spring (as the name of her court suggested). Supia had a personal, gigantic door to allow her entry, but the mere fact a Queen of her stature was capable of being in the throne room was a testament to its size.

A Changeling drone fluttered in and bowed. Members of Blackrose's own hive all had the same rose coloration as herself, and this one was no different. Contrary to popular belief, not all of Blackrose's children were queens, naturally some were drones (as she was the propagator for half the species).

"Mother, Princess Twilight Sparkle and King Thorax have arrived with their entourage," the Changeling replied.

"Thank you, Puck. Let them in."

The Changeling Queen's eyes went wide as Twilight, the Princesses, the Council of Friendship, and Thorax and a few ambassadors from his hive. The sight of the stag beetle-like Changeling King left them speechless. Gone was the rotted, hole filled form the rest of his species possessed, instead he was colorful and majestic. Beautiful.

But what stunned them the most was the sight of Thorax through THEIR vision. Most Changeling Queens appeared through their eyes as having a flickering flame in their heart. One being stroked and kept alight by the intake of love, but fragile and possible to go out of not kept lit. Empress Blackrose's flame looked like a star going supernova, but still flickered.

Thorax, however, was lit up like a lighthouse or a miniature sun. Not one bit of flickering to it.

Twilight noted several Changeling larvae and young ones peeking out curiously from the sides of the hive, which was much more happy and upbeat a place than Chrysalis'. It was almost night and day.

"Forgive them, Princess, ponies are a rare sight here in Avalon, it is our sacred land, after all," Puck explained as he trotted up to the Princess of Friendship. "Welcome to Spring Court, your majesty. I am Puck, if you need anything, merely call upon me."

Twilight smiled. "That's good to know, thank you..." she said, accepting his offered handshake.

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!

Twilight jumped...then noticed Puck chuckling and having somehow hidden a whoopee cushion on his hoof.

"Whoopee cushion in the hoof trick, a favorite of mine," the Changeling remarked, like a goodnatured prankster.

Blackrose shook herself out of her stupor. "Forgive my son Puck, Princess Twilight. He my chief of staff, but also one of the most mischievous Changelings I have ever seen."

"Guilty as charged," replied Puck with a bow.

"Son?" Twilight asked.

"What? You thought that I only had daughters?" Blackrose questioned, spreading her wings and descending from her throne. She left out the fact that, royal or not, Puck was still the child of a goddess, and could be exceedingly dangerous if provoked. As several infiltrators of both her male counterpart's court and Chrysalis' could attest. One memorable time had one spend the day with a donkey's head thanks to a hex from the mischievous changeling.

The Empress approached and examined Thorax more closely with a look of awe. "Thorax...You are an incredible Changeling."

The Changeling King blushed. "Well...I just wanted my hive to have friends, not just meals...we felt so empty all of the time."

"And that is why you are worthy of this," the Empress continued. She then got a cute look and hugged him like he was a stuffed toy. "And you're so cute!"

"T-Thank you!"

"Seriously, you're adorable...all of you," she said, letting him go so he could catch his breath as she looked at Thorax's hive.

Celestia merely stood back during introductions and watched...then looked up at the crystal high about. "...Empress, is that the Sun Stone?" she asked.

Blackrose looked up and nodded. "Yes, yes it is."

"Sun Stone?" Twilight questioned, looking at it.

"A sacred relic of our people, it keeps Avalon in perpetual spring," the Empress replied. "It was a gift from Celestia to my people long ago.

"Indeed...but I thought the dragon...well, you know..." Celestia replied.

Blackrose frowned. "Yes...well, let's just say that Supia had quite the birthday present for me one year and there's a good reason I ultimately made friends with Bahamut...regardless, let's play our game and discuss current events, shall we?" she asked, producing Rainbows and Crystals 3.5 in her telekinesis with a happy smirk. Some of her daughters blushed while Puck merely chuckled.

Session 40.17 Mtanglion

Princess Twilight took another sip of fizzy human world soda... in a paper cup with a straw and the CrystalCon logo, naturally. She scanned the crowd, then smiled at an approaching figure. "By the way," she told Twilight and Sunset. "I managed to confirm that little theory we were taking about."

Flash Sentry emerged from the crowd, with pony ears, and bright orange wings on his back. "Hey, Twilight!" He took Princess Twilight's hand and gave her a quick peck on the cheek, making her blush.

Twilight stared, open-mouthed, and Sunset nearly dropped her own soda.

Then Flash noticed the others. "And... Twilight. And Sunset. Whoa. Yeah, this is a little awkward." His wings fluttered sheepishly. "Say, Sunset? Thanks for talking to me at the camp when I was feeling down. I really appreciate you trying to cheer me up, but... well, I guess I wasn't over Twilight after all!"

Pinkie Pie clasped the human Twilight's arm, when they hadn't realized she was anywhere nearby. "Whoa, you're not jealous, are you Twilight? Cause jealousy leads to more jealousy, and more jealousy leads to even more jealousy, and even more jealousy leads to turning into a super-powered boss with wings who tries to blow up the world just because of a few relationship problems, and that's terrible!"

Twilight approached Princess Twilight, glancing around and coughing into her fist. "Just, hypothetically speaking... suppose I wanted to arrange, you know, a special... magical vacation for Timber and I..."

"Okay!" shouted Twilight, trying to pretend that hadn't happened. "So, Sunset, if you could please ward the portal and keep any *more* humans from wandering into Equestria and getting magical powers willy-nilly, that'd be great! I think I'll just go visit the little filly's room before the main presenta... tion..."

Princess Twilight stopped in her tracks, face to face with a large cardboard standee of two very familiar ponies. "New expansion heroes... Princess Cadence?" she read. "And... Shining Armor?!"

Sunset moved up beside her, rolling her eyes. "Yeah, that happened. I wouldn't want to be Dean Cadence or your brother when all the texts start rolling in."

Princess Twilight's hair twitched. "Why does this keep happening? I was having enough trouble not freaking out over the human Chrysalis being here and not our enemy, and now this too? Does fate just really, really not like me or something?!"

Suddenly, she had a vivid imagining of Daydream Shimmer and Midnight Sparkle, two beings that she knew only from a shaky cell phone video, playing Ogrechess in a standing room only cloud-auditorium. "And then," Daydream was saying, "I put the likenesses of her brother and mentors... in a video game!" The entire audience burst into uproarious laughter...

"Yep, sucks to be you!" shouted Adagio.

Twilight shook herself out of the daze, looking at her soda suspiciously. "Do you want the rest of this, Pinkie? It really doesn't seem healthy for humans to consume this much sugar."

Session 40.18 MagicMan001(S6 finale spoilers)

Imago was angry. No. No no no, not angry. She'd been angry before, plenty of times in fact. How many times had she thrown a most unroyal temper tantrum whenever she didn't get her way in her spoiled little life? More the average changeling could count (then again, to anyone who knew diddly squat about their education system, it wouldn't sound like much).

Nope, for the first time, Imago was well and truly furious. The white hot, indignant fury felt at having been well and truly wronged,

The dank cave had fallen into a long, deathly silence, sans a continuous distant dripping. She was curled up on the smoothed stone slab that was supposed to be a sofa, her magenta eyes fighting back bitter tears in the shroud of darkness. Meanwhile, the other thirteen drones, two nymphs and Queen that made up the remnants of the true changeling species were scattered around the cave, either carrying out their duties or wallowing in their own hushed self-pity. The silence was so deafening, one could make out the scuttering of cockroaches crawling over the cold, rotting meat carcasses that had been the tribe's dinner.

Banishment. First from her kingdom, her future throne, but now from her own species too? By her own grandmother? The one mare in her extensive family who showed her any of the maternal affection and kindness she'd craved from her own mother had now coldly sentenced her and her family to the Winter Court. They were now exiles, outcasts from every race on this planet, from now to the end of time.

Imago's whole world came crushing down on her not only once but twice now, all in the span of days.

Why? What had she done to deserve any of this? She was a Princess, a Changeling Princess. She was supposed to be special, a member of the most revered group of nymphs in her entire species. How could they just strip of her title, her birthright, like she was nothing? Worse than nothing, a common worker nymph! She deserved better!

Her misty vision burned through the dark and narrowed on the mare who was responsible for all this, loafed miserably a stone's throw away on the cold floor with her youngest cradled in her leg. The son, Vordul, was curled up into a large, black ball by her hind leg, though it was unclear whether he was sleeping or just enjoying his mother's presence. Chrysalis torpidly rocked Pupa gently to and back in her hold, lulling her to sleep. The former Queen had a dull, almost bored expression on her muzzle, seemingly having no interest outside ensuring her young tub of a nymph got her afternoon nap.

The hatred smoldering in her very core shook Imago like a brittle leaf in the wind. She could feel nothing else but utter contempt for that fat sack of chitin that she was forced to call ‘mother'. Even the ponies she'd been raised to despise and pseudo-changelings who'd betrayed them were not worthy of that kind of bilious hatred.

This was all her fault! She was the reason Imago had lost everything from her home to her birthright to all but a few of her luxurious possessions. She was the reason they were all being left to rot and die in this dry, barren, disgusting, pathetic, (tasty) termite-infested wasteland! Every decision Chrysalis made had led their hive from bad to worse, but now, the unthinkable had happened: her stupidity had affected her!

It took her no time at all to make up her mind.

"I'm leaving."

All drones within earshot turned their heads in Imago's direction, where they all saw the ex-Princess standing by the cave's entrance, the only source of sunlight into their inky sanctuary. Two bags holding her few remaining possessions hung side-by-side from her saddle.

The drones collectively then looked back at their Queen, whom had just finished rocking Pupa to sleep. She craned her her head back and cast her daughter a mildly curious glance.

"Hmm? What's that, honey?"

"Y-You heard me, Chrysalis!" Imago growled. "I'm running away! I'm sick of living in this stinking cave! And I outright refuse to be a part of this pathetic excuse of a "hive" a moment longer!"

"Is that right? And... where do you intend to go, little one?" Chrysalis asked pleasantly, scratching the back of her ear.

The haughtiness looked to be sucked out of Imago in an instant with that simple question. Unsurprisingly, she hadn't exactly thought out the fine details of that part of the plan just yet. She just wanted to get out of this place already and be done with it.

She quickly regained her composure. "I'm... I'm gonna go and live in the wild like the very first changelings and go catch my own prey!"

Before she'd even finished her sentence, the entire cave exploded in a chorus of rapturous laughter.

A female changeling wiped away a tear, trying to catch her breath. "Oh wow! For a moment, I thought you were serious."

"I AM!" Imago barked, stomping her diddy hoof for emphasis. The filly so livid, she didn't even care she chipped her hooficure. "In fact, not only am I going to make it out there on my own, maybe I'll start my very own hive! Since someling here already lost my first one!"

That got everyling to bite their tongues as they anxiously awaited their Queen's reaction. Chrysalis did not tolerate any disrespect, especially not from her own pygmy offspring. A spanking of the severest variety looked impending.

Instead, Chrysalis just beamed a motherly smile and clicked her tongue, saying, "Oh! Well, that's a relief, here I was, thinking you had no plan. Off you go then, sweetie."

Imago, and by extension everyling else, did a retake.

"Wait... what?"

"Well, come now Imago, you're only the smartest, most rational filly I've ever met. I don't see any way your plan isn't going to end perfectly." She then waved her hoof in a ‘shoo-shoo' manner. "Now don't let us keep you, Queen Imago. Go on and start your new hive."

The ex-Princess' cheeks flushed bright green. The drones around her were all barely suppressing their mocking laughter behind their toothy grins. She knew what her mother was doing here and would not stand for it.
 She mustered enough guts to bluster, "Oh ho, I'm--I'm going, alright! Y-Y-You're gonna be all "Where's Imago? I miss Maggie"! And I'll be long gone!"  "We won't know that until you leave, will we?"  "Oh, I'm leaving!"  "There's the door."

A pregnant, awkward pause followed. All eyes were on Imago, not one of them showing the faintest glimmer of concern. They were all daring her at this point.

The scrawny thing looked like she was going to explode. Her face had turned a near complete vivid lime. She opened her mouth to speak, to scream, but thought better of it and closed it again.

No. She was still a Princess, despite what everypony said, and Princesses did not lower her standards of behaviour to that of the riffraff. She would not give these peons the pleasure. They were beneath her.

Imago held her muzzle high, flicked back her mane and exited the cave without another word.

The drones could retrain themselves no longer, succumbing with laughter like a pack of braying hyenas. Their cackling rolled up and down the cave walls, silenced only when their Queen shot them a death glare. They could see Pupa stirring in her legs, their laughter obviously having disturbed her slumber.

Once the littlest Princess had settled back down, the female changeling who'd mocked Imago creeped up to Chrysalis' side.

"Your Majesty," she whispered, "Do you want us to follow her?"

Chrysalis rolled her eyes in thought for a moment or two, before dismissively telling her, "Nah. She'll be back before nightfall. You know, when she gets hungry."

"Heh heh, snap." She held up her hoof for a hoof bump, but withered under her stern glare. "Iiii'll go back to patrolling the perimeter."

The rest of the drones didn't need another hint and followed suit, leaving their matriarch to tend to her remaining lovelies.

Session 40.19 SomeRandomMinion

"I've never felt such a strange mix of indignity and endearment," Seismos commented as he watched Supia gleefully prancing around the meadow with a small cluster of laughing, cheering foals on her back. The...incident in the Crystal Empire had shaken him more than he cared to admit--Flurry Heart had been a tad rough with her "new toys"--but he was still a King, and a Gigantes warrior: seeing a fellow giant giving piggy-back rides to tinies irked him. Giantkind were fearsome titans, not carnival rides!

He was starting to regret letting Supia talk him into joining this visit to Ponyville....

"Seismos-kun, you look so grim! What's troubling you?" Supia tittered next to him, crouching low to let the laughing foals slide off her back. None seemed intimidated or scared, not even when Supia nuzzled a little grey unicorn filly with the blunt part of her mandibles.

"That is what's troubling me, dear Supia." Seismos pointed a hoof clad in gleaming armor at the carefree smaller ponies milling about and not seeming all that scared of them. "It's simply seems wrong for tinies to be so...carefree around us giants. In the Taurus lands, even my clan's most loyal small vassals bow low and clear the way, even if they aren't anywhere near our hooves. Cawr complains about getting a flank full of spears and retreating up a beanstalk, but even in defeat his tribe's raids sowed terror. Even in Neighpon some still think of you as a kaiju first; a Changeling Queen second."

Supia's wings buzzed, kicking up a short breeze as she cocked her head. "That's true, but how does all that explain your bad mood?"

"Because we--giantkind--are supposed to be feared." He snorted steam. "...and before you mention the Crystal Foal, I don't dispute we all brought that on our own heads. But in my homeland, I was a walking reminder of the Gigantes' power, why the tinies in my lands should know their place as my vassals."

"...This is about what that little Button Mash colt said earlier, isn't it?"

A snort and an embarrassed blush. "...Mostly, Supia dear."

=====A few hours earlier:=====

Seismos glared at the brown colt below, slowly leaning his head down. "Young colt, I suggest you stop comparing my new armor to something from your silly games. I've likely picked more REAL would-be 'heroes' from my teeth than you'd ever seen in fantasy. Yes, Prince Armor's game did earn the wealth it took to forge my armor, but I will NOT have it compared to something on a foe I've likely devoured by the dozens since I was a colt!" He bared his teeth, just for a second.

Button Mash just shrugged, and sniffed the air. "Alright, sorry. Hey, do you ever get bad breath from eating people? Do you have....lakes full of mouthwash or something to freshen up? I heard Mister Shining had a joke about that in his giants game..."

"Yes, I do--I MEAN NO! NO MOUTHWASH LAKES!!"

=======================

The recollection brought a smirk to Seismos' muzzle. "Of course, I'm not the only one who's been outsmarted by a foe I would normally make lunch of. Recall a certain canine Admiral, and a certain buggy backside getting cannonaded...?

Supia glared. "Yi was no ordinary Diamond Dog! And the fact he managed to defeat me with only a small fleet puts your talk of 'putting tinies in their place' into doubt, hmm?"

They both had a staredown...then laughed, hooves slapping the ground and leaving shallow craters. "Well played, Supia-sama, well played! Now, didn't you say Princess Twilight and her friends would be coming by...?"

TO BE CONTINUED. I have a specific follow-up in mind...

Session 40.20 Kendell2, BrutalityInc, Alex Warlorn (finale spoilers)

Cadence looked around the throne room, noting how different it was from Chrysalis'. She then blinked, filling something on her leg. She looked down to see a Changeling larva climbing up her leg. Cadence was shocked at how tiny the larval stage of a Changeling was. "Hello there, little one."

"...Pretty!" the little larva replied with a big smile.

A Changeling came over and picked the larva up. "I'm sorry, Princess, he's just curious. He's never seen a pony before."

Cadence smiled. "It's fine. I know how curious kids can be..." she said, pointing to Flurry Heart, who had climbed up Thorax's back and was hanging onto his stag beetle-like horns.

'Thorax so pretty now! Thorax easier to hang on to now!' was what the infant Alicorn was thinking.

"The little one doesn't both you, does she, my king?" asked one of Thorax's dignitaries.

The new Changeling King smiled. "No, it's fine. I like her."

As the group set up the game table, Puck came back in. "Mother...The Summer Court has arrived."

Blackrose's expression suddenly became considerably more serious. "...Let them in..."

A few moments later, the Changeling Emperor entered with his sons, Metamorphosis included.

The room became awkwardly silent as the civilian class Changelings fled except for Thorax's hive, who stuck by him despite the King feeling an instinctual fear well up in him. Though to be fair, the Kings with the Emperor seemed to be feeling the same in proximity to Blackrose.

Blackrose and her male counterpart approached one another and looked one another in the eye. "Blackthorn."

"Blackrose. It has been a long time."

"Not long enough," Blackrose replied, showing a bit of bitterness.

"Come now, we both have a stake in what has happened, don't we?"

"...She fooled you too, didn't she?"

Blackthorn for a brief moment looked indignant. "Yes...though in my defense, my sons are more humiliated than I am. After all, being outdone by one of your children is not something they're proud of."

Blackrose looked over at the Changeling Kings, a few of which indeed looked fairly embarrassed. "Indeed...Hello, Metamorphosis."

"Hello, Blackrose," the King replied.

"Hello!" shouted Pinkie Pie, suddenly popping up next to him and causing him to jump. "Hello! Hello! Hello!" she continued, popping up next to each of the kings with a wave.

One of the Kings grabbed Pinkie and held her. "Father, may I eat this one..."

Pinkie Pie suddenly appeared on the OTHER side of him. "No, but you can eat that me shaped cake!"

The King blinked, looking at the 'Pinkie Pie' he'd grabbed and finding it was indeed a convincingly realistic looking Pinkie Pie shaped cake. "W-What? How..."

Another of the kings reached for a dagger...only to find a candy bar. "What?!"

"Hehe! This is game night, silly! So I took all your weapons and replaced them with candy! Don't worry! You'll get them back when the games are over!" the pink pony replied, causing Puck to laugh as she hopped back over to her friends.

The various Changeling Kings all searched themselves, finding Pinkie was indeed correct and their various weapons and artifacts had all been replaced by sugary sweets when they hadn't been paying attention.

"But when did she..." one of them asked, wide eyed.

Metamorphosis tried to examine Pinkie Pie, but felt like he was trying to solve a fourth dimensional Rubix Cube.

"To be fair, if she hadn't done it, then I would have," Puck remarked, the young kings giving him an uncertain look. "This IS a neutral meeting and her Grand Majesty's daughters checked their weapons at the door."

"Father!" one of the Kings complained.

"You were the ones who allowed yourselves to be made a fool of," was Blackthorn's only response, seeming amused. "Now...where is this new Changeling King?"

The Kings of his court all seemed to grumble about Thorax not being a 'true King', due to not being of Blackthorn's blood.

Blackrose motioned to Thorax and the young king approached. "This is King Thorax, Chrysalis' replacement."

Thorax nodded. "Um...glad to meet you..."

The Kings all looked in shock as they recognized the same thing their female counterpart's had: the sun or lighthouse that was Thorax's flame. "He's...that's not possible..." one of them muttered.

"He can't be that tough," boasted another. "Let's see how strong he is, shall we?"

-

"Okay, I have no idea how I did that." Thorax muttered as he saw the hole on the wall, where his blast of arcane energy had blown through.

For his part, Changeling King Zopherus, whose chitin armor is so strong he was widely considered nigh-invulnerable to any damage, was found unconscious, half-buried in a crater, far from Empress Blackrose's Avalon Palace. His armor was cracked and singed where Thorax had hit him with his best shot, as a test he agreed to participate in for both Courts to gauge Thorax's power level.

-

"Well, that answers that..." Blackthorn replied as his son received medical attention and the rest of his sons were staring at Thorax in blind shock.

Thorax was simply feeling his antlers, wondering how he'd managed that blast even as his love reserves didn't take that much of a hit, and what had been drained was quickly refilled by his hive's love for him.

"How did he obtain this power?"

"That is what we are here to discuss over games," Blackrose replied.

"Oh, yes. What game?"

Blackrose held up Crystals and Rainbows 3.5.

"Surely, you jest..." Emperor Blackthorn said dismissively. At the insistent look, apprehension came upon him, "You're not. You truly expect me to lower myself to playing this... juvenile distraction?"

"Yes, my dear. Unless you want to miss a chance to use the game as a way assess Thorax, Princess Twilight, many of my children and that of your own, all before supper." Blackrose replied.

Blackthorn held a hard frown, and for a few moments Thorax, Twilight and the Queens tensed, fearing his reaction.

Then, to the surprise of all present, the Changeling Emperor of the Summer Court laughed.

"You know me too well, my dear." He declared, "Indeed, how can I miss such a golden opportunity? And if my beloved feels comfortable with it..." He shapeshifted in a blaze of blue flames - and emerged from it a little colt, complete with a youthful voice that complement it "I suppose I shall come to enjoy it as well, eventually."

He stepped forward, followed by his son Metamorphosis. But the rest of the Summer Court Kings stood still as stone in their places, completely gobsmacked by what they witnessed.

"Oh come along now, my sons; are you all truly too proud for this?" Blackthorn asked, almost teasingly, back at them, "Or is it actually because you fear being outdone by your counterparts in the Spring Court, even in a fillies' game?"

With the gauntlet thrown before them by none other than their father, and much of the Spring Court as witness, the Changeling Kings had no choice but to answer.

And so, with disgruntled grumblings and embarrassed growls, the rest of the Changeling Summert Court - ruthless conquerors, schemers and tyrants all - followed their father to play Crystals and Rainbows 3.5 to the snickering of the Changeling Queens. Some followed their father's example and shape-shifted into colts and fillies themselves - at least with those appearances, some of their dignity could still be saved.

Alex Warlorn

"Fine, we'll play with the Empress and the High Prince." Said one of the Kings.

The Empress' daughters glared.

"Who?" Thorax asked.

"I think they mean you." Twilight whispered.

"I'm pretty sure I'm a King."

"Try telling them that." Twilight sighed.

Blackrose asked, "So how did you react when you first heard of Thorax's change?"

-

Outwardly the Emperor was as indifferent of Chrysalis' overthrowing as a plague rat being run over by a cart sans the slight relief of a stubbed hoof being gone. Inwardly, he was greatly disturbed how Chrysalis how successfully string his spies along her fictional quest for a powerless artifact. And that she'd come close to obtaining enough love to challenge both Courts for leadership.

It was a letter from his wife... Written on the outside were the words 'all bets are off.'

The opened the envelope, and the only thing inside was a photo of Thorax in his new form.

And The Emperor, WITH NO UNDERSTANDING WHY, suddenly felt COMPLETELY TERRIFIED OF THIS  CHANGELING! Every instinct in his body screaming that he was looking at something beyond fearsome.

His heart beat raced through Tartarus, his eyes widening, his breathing became shallow, the picture falls from his magic's grasp, and he actually backed away up his throne his eyes glued to the photo despite wanting to look away.

-

"Did you scream like a little filly?" Blackrose grinned.

"I did not."

"You did didn't you?"

The Emperor looked at the new King his sons had trouble accepting by that title.

Thorax, one of Rose Dust's, has become a completely new species of changeling, something that was going to become greater than him or BlackRose in a few centuries or eons.

Thorax has become something greater than any changeling before him. He'd evolved BEYOND the curse. He's taken all of what they once were, and what they are, and created something greater out of both than either of the progenitors of the changelings.

Thorax meanwhile played pattycake with Flurry Heart, nervous since he didn't know the proper silverware placement at these royalty things yet, (not that changeling used silverware if he thought about it).

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 40.0 Kendell2 (S6 finale spoilers)
Session 40.1 Alex Warlorn(S6 finale spoilers)
Session 40.2 Grogar The Onser(S6 finale spoilers)
Session 40.3 SomeRandomMinion(S6 finale spoilers)
Session 40.4 Alex Warlorn(S6 finale spoilers)
Session 40.5 Alex Warlorn(S6 finale spoilers)
Session 40.6 Mtangalion(S6 finale spoilers)
Session 40.7 Ardashir(S6 finale spoilers)
Session 40.8 Kendell2(S6 finale spoilers)
Session 40.9 SomeRandomMinion(S6 finale spoilers) (edits by me)
Session 40.10 Kendell2(S6 finale spoilers)
Session 40.11 Ardashir(S6 finale spoilers)
Session 40.12 Kendell2(S6 finale spoilers)
Session 40.13 Ardashir(S6 finale spoilers)
Session 40.14 Richforce(S6 finale spoilers)
Session 40.15 Grogar-the-oneser(S6 finale spoilers)
Session 40.16 Kendell2(S6 finale spoilers)
Session 40.17 Mtanglion
Session 40.18 MagicMan001(S6 finale spoilers)
Session 40.19 SomeRandomMinion
Session 40.20 Kendell2, BrutalityInc, (finale spoilers)
Alex Warlorn (finale spoilers)

Cover image by SparrowDraws http://sparrowdraws.deviantart.com/art/Rainbow-Dash-from-Dungeons-and-Discords-630979403

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Session 41

Session 41.0 Kendell2

"So, what exactly is this game?" Trixie asked, looking at the board, which was...Nightmare Night themed. Oh so Nightmare Night themed.

"Well you remember the game where we're all alien exchange students?" Twilight asked.

"Yes."

"Imagine that, but with Nightmare Night monsters having a night out on Earth visiting from a reality were everypony are Nightmare Night monsters who dress up as humans for one night a year instead," Twilight explained. "We're just scary, not evil. It's just meant to be fun! Runs on Rule of Funny as much as the other game."

"Oh, I'm so in!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "So we just come up with something you'd be on Nightmare Night?"

Twilight nodded. "That's the idea! Go wild!"

OOC: Just throwing this out there. I REALLY want to see what someone can come up with with this.

Session 41.1 BrutalityInc

"Oh, oh! I'll be the frankenmare monster! I call dibs on the frankenmare monster!" Pinkie declared, waving her hoof.

"Alright, you can be the frankenmare monster. Do you have a backstory to go with that?" Twilight asked.

Pinkie screwed up her muzzle in thought, "Hmmm, the problem is not that I don't have one, but that I have too many to use! I'll think of something..."

"I believe we all know what I want to be, darlings..." Rarity commented as she started working on an attire design for a vampire countess, "Although I imagined Applejack would want to play the frankenmare."

"Oh, and why's that?" Applejack asked, "Is that 'cause I'm not that bright or somethin'?"

"Perhaps... Your education is rather lacking except for mathematics." Rarity teased.

Applejack snorted, but did not rise to the bait, "Truth be told, I was thinking of a wolf..."

Twilight smiled, "Werewolf it is, then. Now..." Twilight turned to Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, "What would you two like to be?"

Session 41.2 Alex Warlorn

Twilight added quickly. "And no Rainbow Dash, you can't be Dracozilla."

"... Dangit."

Session 41.3 Mtangalion

Fluttershy raised a hoof. "Well, I was thinking... I tried being a tree that one time, but then I couldn't go anywhere with the party, and I had to roll a dryad character anyway..."

Rainbow Dash snickered.

"So maybe this time, I could be a Timber Wolf! A *good* Timber Wolf who looks really scary, but she sleeps with her roots sunk into the earth, and never has to chomp anypony!" Fluttershy beamed.

Rainbow crossed her forelegs, kicking back and looking at the ceiling for inspiration. "I just can't decide! If I can't be a giant dragon..."

"Well, you could definitely be some sort of dragon," suggested Twilight. She teleported a book onto the table - Astonishing Creatures and Where You Won't Find Them, by Professor A. B. Forward - and pointed to the pony-dragon creature with flaming wings on the cover. "Actually, I might take this one myself, if you don't want it."

Rarity grinned. "You could always be a nightpony, darling."

Rainbow made a sour face. "Ugh, this isn't Dusklight gaming night! I don't do mushy stuff like that!"

"And yet, somehow you do seem to know what a nightpony is," said Rarity smugly.

"Um... I'll be... one of these!" Rainbow grabbed the book, flipped through the pages, and jabbed a hoof down on a page at random.

"A Deep Pony?" said Trixie, eyebrows raised. "Well, that should certainly be scary enough."

Session 41.4 BrutalityInc

Shining's tabletop RPG friends walked into the Crystal Empire game room to find themselves witness to a peculiar scene: Trixie Lulamoon, the special guest for this afternoon session, was sitting back in her seat smugly, while Shining Armor and the rest of his Royal Guard friends, whom are also joining the table today, was huddled together, pouring over a rulebook disgruntledly.

"Hey, guys, did something happened?" Gaffer asked.

"What happened, my dear fellows, is that Trixie won the game!" Trixie declared proudly.

"Says you! We'll find the rules that said you can't do what you did! Just you wait!" Caramel retorted, before looking back down the pages with the rest.

The Gaming Three looked at each other, shocked at what they heard; they knew about Trixie Lulamoon and her guile from Shining Armor's correspondence and gaming magazines, but to hear that she had managed to win a tabletop war game that they're playing today against the Guard Four was something that they didn't believe was possible.

It's not that they question her skills; she was without a doubt the most cunning mare they ever heard, given what they knew and read of her amazing victories (They also believe her to be one of the most jinxed players, given her tendency to epic fail in a most spectacular manner one game out of three on average). But at the end of the day, she was just a show-mare with no real knowledge of military strategies and tactics, whereas the Guard Four – Cherry Fizzy, Meadow Song, Noteworthy and Caramel – are trained soldiers of the Royal Guard.

"Okay, and how exactly did she win?" 8-Bit asked.

"Why, isn't it obvious? She bent the rules like taffy – and then ate it for good measure!" Noteworthy complained, flipping another page.

"And Trixie wears such charges with pride!" Trixie asked rhetorically, standing up and approaching the Gaming Three "Trixie knew she is out-classed in terms of military know-how compare to these four doltish stallions..." They glared at her momentarily, with Trixie blowing a kiss in their direction in response. "Realizing that, Trixie instead went for what that mare Lyra would call 'Being a sneaky-pants'."

Trixie trotted to the figurines and pointed a hoof at them "As you know, under the rules of this game, the match begins with the deployment of a commander unit, after which the players would take turns deploying and counter-deploying until all their forces are on the field, with the exception of reserves, which you can deploy as many as one likes at any turn when the match starts."

"Now, Trixie learnt, from her small-talk with the stallions, that they are power-gamers in this tabletop wargame, and their favourite tactic is to withhold their entire army in reserve. This would force the opponent to deploy in a conservative manner with their opponents' field being empty." Trixie pointed her hoof to the Guard stallions in discussion for emphasis, "When the match begins proper, they'll deploy everything on the field simultaneously, in a compact spearhead formation. This would allow them to advance and break the enemy's line easily at its weakest point."

"So what? It's perfectly allowed in the rules!" Meadow Song protested, before going back to the book.

"Yes, but so is what Trixie did in response." Trixie flared her cape, "So, having brought no figurine army of my own, they let Trixie use a spare army they have in their possession. I picked the one which had the most scout units in them, having devised a plan after reading the rulebook that would turn their power-gaming against them."

"What did you do? Deploy the scout units into teams to slowly pick their army apart in hit and run attacks?" Pointdexter conjectured.

"We wished! But what Ms Lulamoon actually did was downright humiliating!" Cherry Fizzy interjected. The others grumbled in agreement.

"The others, as I predicted, declared that they will deploy nothing and hold everything in reserve – as Trixie predicted, leaving her to deploy her forces." Trixie continued, now pointing towards her forces, "Scouts could be deployed anywhere Trixie wished across the table, so she deployed her scouts in a skirmish line. That line was at the very edge of the table, and ultimately surrounds the entire rim. Under the rules, Trixie can't deploy anywhere within 30 cm of the enemy forces – but there are no enemy forces to speak of, so no problems there."

"And she only deployed her scouts during her deployment phase!" Meadow Song added.

"That's insane!" Gaffer exclaimed, "You have them exposed out in the open ground without cover, concealment or even support. The moment the other four deploy their army, they're finished!"

"Correct, but here is the thing: under the rules, now my opponent CAN'T deploy their army!" Trixie declared proudly.

"Explain." The Gaming Three chorused simultaneously.

"As you know, there are so called 'anti-cheese' rules noted in the book which prevents players from deploying their reserve units right next to their enemies', and mandates a minimum 5 cm distance from an opponent's model." Trixie explained, "And so it happens, there are no gaps in my round-the-table skirmish line greater than 5 cm. Which means, technically, my opponents does not have any entry point on the edges of the field that would allow them to deploy their units!"

"Wait, so without any room to deploy... Cherry Fizzy and others' entire force would be forced to sit in reserve until the game ends, after which, under the rules, they would automatically lose. And add the fact that Trixie controls the entire field by default..." Pointdexter muttered as he realized the implications, "So that means...!"

"Victory... in round 1." Shining Armor, the GM, finished it for them, "Trust me, I didn't want to believe it either, but it's all within the rules."

"This isn't over!" Cherry promised, waving a hoof even as he flipped more pages, "There will be a reckoning for this act of rule-lawyering!"

"Well, Trixie won't hold her breath for when that happens." She said with a grin, before turning to the slack-jawed Gaming Three before her, "Now then, Trixie believes that you three would be playing with us next..."

(Based on a true story!)

Session 41.5 Alex Warlorn

Rarity, Queen of the Vampires, sighed. "That last battle with the She Whose Name Is Too Awesome To Speak, left my zombie horde rather low. I'll have to spent some time harvesting more corpses from the graveyards."

"I'm surprised there are any fill graveyards left," Spike Lord of the Undead said.

The Pink One giggled. "My cultists are almost done constructing the mega portal! It was worth sacrificing those smaller portals to the were-ponies last battle."

"This is gonna be so awesome!"

"Okay, Ah've gone and infected the rest of Ponyville, and burned the bodies of our losses so them dang vamp' ponies can't use 'em! They're all part of the pack now."

"Oh, and we've driven the last of the Deep Ponies from Everfree too! It's so pretty with every pony one with nature!"

"Ah'm kinda worried, they gave up almost too easily."

The girls and Spike were in the throne room again for another session of gaming. No Discord, no Trixie, no Starlight, no Gilda, no Alisa, no Thorax, or any of his estranged relatives.

Applejack and Rarity had no intention of saying it out-loud, but both of them had become sick to death of shape shifters, wolves in costumes, and politics of giant bug pony societies that had hidden themselves since the dawn of Equestria. And just wanted to get back to gaming on the table that the crystal tree in the forest used to command its obedient little puppets.

"So where's Alisa?" AJ asked.

"I promoted her. She's now the manager of my branch in the Diamond Wolf lands."

"You have a store in the diamond wolf lands?"

"I do now."

"Ah."

The table was armies of different types of monsters, and a buncha tokens of normal ponies, ripe for impressment into their forces.

"Haven't we played this game before? Or something like it?" Rainbow Dash asked. After all, they'd played so many games... so many.

"Yes, but this is the new version, and with a much more Nightmare Night centric theme," Twilight said. "The principle is simple, we have an army of Undead, Werebeasts, Eldritch Horrors... There was also supposed to be a faction of Cryptids... but they couldn't seem to find enough to fill the ranks."

"Crypt tides? Are those zombie fish?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"... No. Cryptids, as in 'animals not proven to exist by pony science."

"Like giants?"

"Oh yeah."

"And bug ponies?"

"Ugh..."

"And draconequi."

"Don't speak his name!"

"And then there's-"

"AGH! Alright! . . . But I swear if it turns out that the talking muffins and/or sapient cookies from Dinky's story book are real, I'm finding the Alicorn of nature and giving them a stern talking to! And CANCELING game night FOREVER!!!"

Session 41.6 Alex Warlorn

Discord sighed, "Do I have to do this every year?"

"YES!" All the Princesses told him.

"Fine! .... I Discord, solemnly swear, by the unbreakable and all encompassing Pinkie Promise, that I will not sell, give, create, leave about to be found, or otherwise provide costumes or props during Nightmare Night that will transform and/or mentally affect or otherwise enchant the wearers or any pony else, nor shall I attempt to loop hole abuse this oath. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."

Session 41.7 Alex Warlorn Mtangalion SomeRandomMinon

"Your Majesty? What are we doing at the old decoy castle that you ... uh, the big changeling queen destroyed?" Asked Locust.

"It's off the books and the maps, and there are enough rooms left intact to keep out the rain." Queen Chrysalis said.

"Very wise your Majesty..."

"Any word on the other changeling outcasts?"

"Uh... they said they're not interested in a queen who can only lead her hive to disaster. They said 'she may have ALMOST conquered the cattle lands two or three times, but almost only counts in horseshoes.' "

"... They'll come around eventually, it's not like their current situation is all that good."

"Oh, and this note came for you... apparently a magical evil imp challenged your daughter to a board game called 'Alicorn Takes All' that she lost and was turned into one of his playing pieces as a result."

Chrysalis groaned. "At least she didn't get herself eaten by the sand worms."

"You going to save her?"

"If only so mother doesn't catch wind of it and beat me to the punch and starts brainwashing one of my babies."

Papa looked at a picture book, with a picture of a walled eyed pony, with the changeling word for 'Food' underneath in big bold letter.

(Board game 'The Grouchiest Game in Town' reference from Smurfs).

-

Rainbow Dash using the enchanted warp mirrors from the mysterious distant and HEAVILY defended land of Funtasia to go visit queen Supia for some giant monster LARPing might have seemed rather self indulgent, but what not enjoy some 'saved the world' perks?

After all, Queen Supia had to know a some some size-shifting spells....

Queen Supia, queen of the neighponese 'giant wasp' changelings spoke to the Element of Loyalty. "You might have to wear a colorful spandex costume."

Dash smiled. "And that's supposed to discourage me?"

"A VERY skintight costume. Every male within a half mile is going to be staring at your flank. Which will be the size of a building at that scale."

"Again; not discouraging me."

"... Very well, in the name of friendship between my hive and your kingdom, 'ambassador' I can make time in my day for some play acting. Ahem. Sugoi!! With this enchanted hoofband, you shall become Ultramare Prism and defend the cities of Equestria from... Wait, don't push that button yet!"

Rainbow Dash pressed the button. "Why not--YIPE!"

Rainbow shoots up in size until she was big enough to smack her head against the roof of the cave she and Supia are in. Dazed, she tumbled back into a sitting position...

As a rounded shadow covered him and his friends, a Neighpon Changeling shouted. "INCOMING FLANK!"

They all barely scampered away in time as Rainbow's rump hit the ground with meteoric force, shaking the cave and cracking the stone floor.

Supia facehoofed. "That is why, Rainbow-chan. Size-shifting and tight spaces don't mix."

Session 41.8 Grogar The Onser

"Hey captain, er general, I been meaning to ask... but what happen to Kabuto?" Blood Flea asked, both were cleaning the castle till the queen returned with her daughter.

"Huh that's a good question...." Locust muttered. He definitely couldn't see Thorax accepting the mad scientist even if his form had change to one of Thorax's hideous mutant changelings, he hadn't seen if he had. "Guess he's trying to gain amnesty in another hive."

"Who would accept that craze lunatic besides our queen?" Blood Flea asked.

+

"Hmm.... you know for a craze lunatic, there something about you I like, your hired!" Emperor Blackthorn said as both he and Kabuto were playing chess.

"Thank you, you won't regret it," Kabuto said with a grin.

Session 41.9 BrutalityInc

It was Nightmare Night, and even in Canterlot, the shining capital of Equestria, the ponies celebrated enthusiastically; the streets were decorated with motifs, images and props evoking the monstrous and the supernatural; gangs of fillies and colts dressed in various costumes happily galloped across cobblestone streets, playing Nightmare Night themed games in stalls set up all over the city, or getting candy and treats, their similarly dressed parents and guardians trailing behind them. The sound of merriment was thick in the nightly air - broken occasionally by screams of fright or profanities of outrage from those who had been pranked for not giving out enough candy.

In one of the houses, five of the Canterlot Six - and one guest outside their circle - were settling down after a night of reverie.

"It's too bad that Moondancer is with Twilight in Ponyville." Lemon Heart commented with a note of disappointment. She was dressed in a giant lemon for her costume tonight, "They're missing out a lot of fun and games that only Canterlot has during Nightmare Night!"

"Well, they have their own schedules and we have ours. We can't exactly expect them to accommodate us." Minuette joined in. She was dressed as the Batmare rogue gallery villainess Clock Queen, and her attire resembles her old serial incarnation, black-cape and top-hat with a clock inside it, and additional clocks and watches adorning her clothes.

"Still, given how rare it is nowadays for all of us to be together, you'll think that they'll make room to spend time with us." Lyra Heartstring muttered. She wore a toga and laural leaf attire costume with her trade-mark lute by her side, looking like somepony from Classical Equestria. "Well, at least I managed to made it here. We were planning to celebrate in Ponyville, too, but I couldn't give an invitation by my old classmates a pass!"

"And you brought your friend in Ponyville too." Twinkleshine added, dressed as Dracozilla, turned to said pony, "Nice of you to join our company tonight, Bon Bon! You seem to know Canterlot very well, despite living in Ponyville."

"Well, I have done several deliveries here before. Ever since Twilight moved into town, there had been a lot of orders from Canterlot." Bon Bon explained, dressed in a chef's costume. She felt slightly uncomfortable being the only earth-pony in the group.

Of course, the fact that she had also done monster-hunting missions in Canterlot during her time in S.M.I.L.E. went unsaid, and Lyra, the only other mare who knows, has promised to keep it a secret. It brings back the memories, being here – both the happy and painful ones.

‘I'm just a candy-mare now...' Bon Bon thought to herself, over and over, ‘The past is the past... and I should hope it stays that way!"

"We've all done our share of trick or treating for tonight..." Twinkleshine said, popping some candy from her bag full of bounty for emphasis, "And Amethyst Star is keeping Tootsie-Flutes for company while she kept going, we're ready to continue on to the next part of tonight's entertainment: GAME NIGHT!"

The four unicorns cheered, which Bon Bon joined in half-heartedly. Yes, she really doesn't feel fit in with them. She didn't feel like an ordinary candy-making mare with a new group of friends. Maybe she just hasn't find something that would allow her to blend in...

"You were always the gaming pony, Twinkleshine." Lyra remarked, "So what's the pick tonight? Something to fit in tonight's theme of spookiness and horror?"

"Well, I do have something special for this specific occasion..." She confirmed, before she brought out a booklet from under the table.

What Bon Bon saw caught her attention, like Albino Wolf's ‘Hunter: The Vigilance' did in that Midsummer Night festival game she played with Octavia, Vinyl Scratch and the others all those sessions ago.

It depicted an earth-pony, a unicorn and a pegasi, all dressed in gothic-looking leather and wool attire, complete with capes, long-dusters and cloaks, tricorne or cavalier hats, and masks that cover their facial features. They were armed with silvery blades and old-fashioned firearms, and stood in defiant poses against a dark, nocturnal background, a starless night with flocks of bats flying in front of a large, blood-red moon.

The title read ‘Eldritch Nights'.

"‘Eldritch Nights'? I never heard of this one before..." Lemon Hearts noted.

"You wouldn't have. It's completely new; I got this early-released version, along with several campaign modules, for being a long-time costumer of one of the companies that made it." Twinkleshine explained, "From my understanding, this is a massive collaborative project between all those game and comic makers to produce a new Gothic and Cosmic Horror themed setting and franchise, for horror-adventure RPG games and other assorted fiction."

"Geeze, just look at this: all these company here are in the big leagues!" Lyra commented, eyes widening as she looked over the brands above the title, "You have famous ones such as Mages in the Mountains and Albino Wolf, to more infamous ones like FROM Gaming from Neighpon, and even normally non-gaming focused entertainment companies like Enchanted Comics. And all of them are pooling their resources to making this? What couldn't they do?"

Twinkleshine shrugged, then read the manual introduction, "In the land of Ciaradh, the great alicorn Solas, the Dawn King, has mysterious gone missing, and in his wake, the forces of darkness that had been long been held back by his power are on the rise, led by Shadowlieges that are either escaping their prisons, or expanding their existing dominion."

Whereas the others gulped in fear or shuddered at the rather terrifying premise laid out before them, Bon Bon listened more and more intently as Twinkleshine spoke of the array of horrors facing the innocents. Somewhere in the depths of her mind, an old urge is returning, a sense of duty rising back to the forefront, a drive that had been stopped for years is restarting its engines.

"Without the presence and guidance of Solas, the innocent ponies of Ciaradh are finding themselves becoming the common prey of monsters, the weapons, wards and prayers that had protected them for centuries weakening and faltering in the face the dreadful creatures before them. Now, it is up to the Sancthars – you, monster hunters and holy warriors – who had defended Ciaradh for generations in Solas' name to hold back the darkness before it devours the land and its people, and perhaps uncover the truth to the disappearance of their sovereign and the source of the various evils that now assail Ciaradh."

"Well, doesn't that fit in tonight's theme!" Lyra whistled.

"None more so than this module..." Twinkleshine pulled out an Enchanted Comics adventure manual from the box, "‘Shadow Over Yearning' is said by the developers to be a particularly scary and hardcore campaign module out of all the ones currently available in Eldritch Nights. We can try the main campaign or some of the other modules as well, although we probably have time for one tonight."

The other unicorn mares cheered once more and picked Shadow Over Yearning. Lyra looked beside her and noticed that Bon Bon was frowning.

"Is something wrong? If you don't want to, we can play some other –"

"No, I'm in." Bon Bon dismissed, giving a determined look, "Just got this strange feeling about it, that's all."

= = =

When they woke up, they found themselves in a dimly-lit, old-fashioned looking clinic room, with bottles and books of medicine lining the cabinets surrounding the tables they were lying on, and infusion vials dripping with some mysterious red liquid hung from carriers. They also found themselves dressed in the attires of the ponies they saw in the cover of the box.

"Okay, that felt weird." Lyra commented as she got up and hopped onto the wooden oak floor. "Then again, this is the first time I've been in one of those Enchanted Comics style magical adventures, so I'm not qualified to judge."

Twinkleshine looked at her surroundings, "Look at the detail in the level designs; they must had pulled all the stops in making this."

"Well, looks like this is going to be fun! Scary, but fun." Lemon Hearts added. "I'm so excited!"

"Yes, fun..." Bon Bon repeated. There was a sense of foreboding dread in the air that the others doesn't seem to notice, one that made her instincts urge her to take note.

"Let's gather around and head out. I bet the ‘tutorial' is in the room downstairs." Minuette said, pointing towards a door, opening to stairs leading down.

Together, they went down – only to find an empty room.

"What gives? There's nothing here!" Minuette exclaimed, "Where's the tutorial?"

"Maybe it's unfinished?" Lemon Heart suggested.

"That's usually how these EC adventures go; drop you right in the middle, and let you figure out how to play through it by yourself." Twinkleshine explained.

"Well, I say there should be a tutorial here! How are we supposed to investigate and fight monsters if we don't know how to actually do one or the other?"

Bon Bon grimaced. She is effectively the only mare in the group who actually knows how do either, but there won't be enough time to teach others the ropes...

"That corridor leads out to the main foyer. Maybe there would be something there." Lyra pointed.

There was indeed something there – but something that they did not expect. And it terrified them.

"It's... a wolf." Minuette noted, eyes widening at the creature illuminated under the dim light of the chandelier.

"Yes." Twinkleshine concurred.

"It's a very big wolf." Lemon Heart said, her heart was racing with fear.

"Ahuh." Minuette nodded.

"A very big and scary wolf that's eating that poor dead pony on the floor." Twinkleshine added, looking rather ill at the sight.

"This IS a horror RPG game." Lemon Heart reminded.

"It's not an ordinary wolf." Bon Bon suddenly interjected, eyes narrowing with recognition. "It's worse: That's a werewolf."

"How can you tell?" Lemon Heart asked, now more terrified.

"I see it, too." Lyra said, pointing a hoof, "That thing looks big as a bear; the gait doesn't look like it belong to either a wolf, or a pony; the fur has tints of what looks like pony fur in it; and the red and yellow glowing eyes are a dead give-away. Bonnie's right – that's a werewolf."

"They – they're going to make us fight that when we don't even have any weapons?!" Minuette gasped in horror.

"Did anypony see a back-door to this place?" Twinkleshine asked urgently.

"There wasn't. Only way out is through that door over there – and that werewolf is in the way." Lemon Heart noted dismally.

"Alright, alright, don't panic; we are ponies! Monster-hunting ponies in-game, too!" Twinkleshine declared, "We can outwit that thing and escape from this place. As long as we don't attract its attention..."

"Twinkie, it's looking right at us!" Lemon Heart exclaimed, now genuinely afraid.

Indeed, the werewolf has noticed their attention, and is now striding towards them, eyes dancing with hunger and its bloody jaws snarling in bloodlust.

"Okay, NOW we can panic!" Twinkleshine muttered.

To Be Continued...

Session 41.10 BrutalityInc

Lyra looked to Bon Bon – only to see her already galloping towards one side of the main foyer. "Bon Bon, what are you doing?!"

"Getting its attention!" Bon Bon shouted back. The gemstone encrusted on her Sancthor attire's hat glowed – she's thankful that the developers are considerate enough to put that feature in for non-unicorns – and with a bout of telekinesis, she grabbed for a vase stuffed with dead flowers. "Run across the other side of the foyer and make for the door, NOW!"

The werewolf was ready to pounce at the fleeing group when Bon Bon's vase smashed into its face, the broken ceramic pieces cutting into its flesh. That enraged it, and it turn its attention on the lone mare that had hurt it so.

"That's it...look at me! I'm the one you wanted!" Bon Bon jeered at it, presenting herself, daring the creature to attack.

The werewolf howled, and charged forward, before leaping at Bon Bon. Bon Bon dodged and rolled sideways, letting the werewolf land where she was a moment before, smashing into tables and cabinets through its momentum.

It recovered quickly, much faster than Bon Bon liked; it swiped at her with one of its claws, trying to rend her flesh and disembowel her, as it is common tactics for wolves on the hunt for game. But Bon Bon anticipated this, and ensured that she rolled and positioned herself to just the right place; just next to a pillar holding up the ceiling

She ducked, her reflexes still sharp even years after she left her vigil. As she anticipated, the swiping paw sailed over her head and slammed right into the pillar. The pillar bent and splintered from the force of the blow – but even the enhanced strength and ferocity of a were-creature could do little to break a thick solid pillar made of hardened oak.

The creature howled in agony, and backed away, pawing and licking its wounded limb as it found that its broken front-paw couldn't support its weight. Already, it's starting to heal, but it would take time; plenty enough that Bon Bon could get into an advantageous position.

Bon Bon looked and saw that the others had only just got the doors opened – doors which were apparently barred from the outside. Between the eaten corpses on the floor and that, she pictured what happened; that the werewolf turned whilst its pony self was in the clinic, then rampaged and slaughtered many of the helpless patients and defenceless healers here. The survivors, possessing no means to fighting and killing it properly, resorted to barricading the only exit to ensure it would not escape.

Well, now they had found themselves in the same bind, but this time, they might not be fast enough for there to be any survivors. Not unless she finds something, anything, that could help them hold it off, but to look for that in this dim light...
The light. She looked up, and saw the half-lit chandelier. She noted earlier how it looked like it was on the verge of falling down, dangling precariously on a rusted, nearly broken chain.

She looked back down on the werewolf, already recovered, and now more enraged and determined than ever to slaughter them. She has to act quickly.

"Lyra! The chandelier!" She shouted at her friend, hoping she and the others would get what she wanted them to do.

Lyra looked from the door they were trying to force open and looked up. Fortune has it that she noticed what Bon Bon noticed, too, and realize her intent.

"Lemon! Twinkle! Minny! Help me with this!" She cried out, before her horn glowed and her magic.

The other unicorns in the Canterlot Six got the cue, and their magic added to Lyra's to pull the chandelier down. The ceiling started to creak in protest, and the chains begin to bend out of shape as the force stretched the weakened, rusted metal to breaking point.

The werewolf wasted no time pouncing on Bon Bon, and Bon Bon wasted no time herself in grabbing a nearby wheelchair and throwing it in its direction, connecting with its head mid-pounce. She jumped sideways in time to have the werewolf land in a heap, dazed by the smashed wheelchair, right under the chandelier. That was the moment when the chains gave way.

All ponies winced as the large decorative ornament piece smashed into the werewolf with a resounding crash.

"Is it dead?" Lemon Heart asked.

"Not by a long-shot. But it'll stall it long enough." Bon Bon commented. In a harsh, commanding voice, she turned to the rest and shouted, "What are you waiting for?! We've to get out of here now!"

With record speed, the doors were cleared, and making over the junk and debri that was used to block it, they rushed up the stairs towards a second set of door, light filtering through its opaque, baroque glass windows into the dark stairwell.

Wasting no time, the moment they were outside, they closed the door behind them, and began grabbing anything they could with their hooves and magic to pile in front of it, barring them like the inner doors, until the doors themselves was not visible under the veritable wall of stone, wood, masonry and other assorted junk.

All the while, they could hear the inner doors being breached, and then the howls of a monster that had just free itself from the indignity of being pinned heavy broken ornament was followed by the sound of its form crashing into the outer doors.

For a few moments, the group of players held their breathes, watching the pile shake as the werewolf tried to escape the confines of the clinic, fearing that it might breach it. There was the sound of claws scratching and banging from the doors being rammed by a monstrous pile of flesh and fur, mixing with lupine growls of rage and hunger.

Then, slowly, the banging and shaking stopped, and with a frustrated howl, they hear the werewolf going back into the depths of the abandoned clinic.

All ponies sagged with relief, collapsing on the floor completely or sitting down on their haunches, feeling the adrenaline rush peeling off as their hearts stopped racing, and their terror and excitement disappeared. It took them a few minutes before they were calm enough again to speak.

"Well, that's one way to start a Nightmare Night campaign module!"

All the mares gave tittered laughs, reminding themselves that this was all just a fictional adventure – and that they didn't just barely escaped from a cursed animalistic horror.

All except Bon Bon.

"That was...that was too close..." She muttered to herself, taking a moment to remove her hat and wipe the sweat off her brows, "It's all just so real...just like Hoofington all over again..."

The other unicorns looked at each other, confused. Lyra stepped in quickly before they started asking uncomfortable questions.

"Tell me about it, Bon Bon! It's my first time too in one of these magical adventures..." Lyra said aloud, putting a comforting hoof over Bon Bon's shoulders, "Really gave us quite a fright, didn't it? Just like that carnival in Hoofington that other time. But don't worry, we'll get used to it."

Bon Bon smile, putting one of her hooves on Lyra's. Lyra winked for good measure.

"Wow...remember when I said the details were impressive?" Twinkleshine commented, finally noticing their outdoor surroundings, "I was wrong. THIS is impressive detail, right here!"

Indeed. Now, they could see the city of Yearning in its full glory, and it stretched out before them. In the dim twilight of the setting sun and rising moon, the impressive gothic sprawl seemed to obscure the horizon and stretched as far as the eye could see. In their immediate vicinity, they could see that they had found themselves in a plaza, also impressive in its design and appearance, with a fountain in the middle, and the streets were filled with displays of beautifully crafted metalworks and many great stone and marble statues, depicting regal-looking alicorns standing tall, cloaked maidens in prayer, or knights in armour wielding weapons high.

But out here, in the streets, its apparent that the city had seen better days; the place looked deserted, and there were many abandoned and broken carriages parked on the sides, some of which had skeletons still in their seats or in harnesses. There were empty and trashed shops, as well as remnants of what looked like stalls, seemingly subjected to looting. The gothic-architecture were defaced, seeming by fighting, and some buildings looked like burnt-out shells, as if burnt, complementing the piles of ashes and charcoal. There are junk, more dead bodies, abandoned belongings and broken weapons scattered on the ground in many places.

The ponies looked around as they explored the neighbourhood they found themselves, both in awe of the impressive world, and dread as they searched and watched every corner and shadows, out of fear of something like the werewolf in the clinic ambushing them. Bon Bon was the one who did more of the latter than anypony else, always vigilant and cautious of her surroundings

It took them a few minutes before they met a local.

The pony carried a torch in its pensile tail, and said tail and mane looked dishevelled, overgrown and dirty. His clothes looked ragged and overlong, patched up in many places, and didn't look like they fit him. They could see an axe tucked in his belt, and a hat adorning his unicorn head.

"Hello? Excuse me!" Lemon Heart called out to him, "Can you tell us where we are, we just came by here, and we're wondering..."

Lemon Heart's voice died when she saw that she caught his attention, and he turned in their direction.

That was when they noticed that there was something VERY wrong with him.

He seemed taller than the average pony; in fact, it just occurred to them how disproportionate his body shape seemed. His legs were long and lanky, the torso looked stretched, and the neck seemed to be taller and more forward leaning than your average pony. His hooves looked like it has something sharp, poking out of the fetlocks, and he moved with a swinging stride.

And then there was his face.

The skin was taut and grey, and was covered with bandages with exception of his eyes, nostril and muzzle. Low-set ears poked out of the sides under his hat, and his eyes were yellow, and pupils seemed blurred, as if affected by cataracts. His face was covered with unnaturally overgrown hair, between the thick unibrow and his facial beard. And his teeth...

His teeth had canine fangs.

"Oh, fewmets!" Lyra cursed, recognizing instantly what they were facing.

The pony – creature – gave them a feverish, demented look. Then, with a hateful snarl, he roared:

"Foul BEASTS!"

(Wanted to continue this, but I want to see what other people would come up with)

Session 41.11 Alex Warlorn

Apple Bloom said, "Thanks ya kindly for givin' up the blue-he-prints and runes for the costumes for us and our friends Discord."

"Before we get started however," Scootaloo asked, "Are these designs going to be enchanted so we turn into what our costumes are of?"

"Yes," Discord said. "You made them, not me. You asked for MY help."

"And when the enchantment happens, we'll think our costumes selves are our real selves?" Scootaloo asked critically.

"The law requires that I answer yes."

"And the spell undoes itself at midnight no matter what?"

"Unless one of you is a super hero in deep space or underwater when it hits midnight, it'll last until the spell being undone won't kill you, or one of you is say made of ice and thrown into a fire, the spell will end automatically. Princess Luna promised I'd dream of being an officer work-drone every night for the next 1000 years if I didn't include that part."

"Okay, Ah kinda figured," Apple Bloom said. "But Ah want one thing! The core of what makes us, 'us' stays intact. And NOPONY or ANYCREATURE, singular plural, ya get the gist, does anythin' they'll be horrified or sick of in the mornin'."

Discord sighed. "FINE! Costume you, no matter what different she is from you, will still not do anything YOU with your fundamental, (what are those called again? Oh yes), 'moral code' wouldn't do or nor NOT do something you'd morally do. But no guarantees on different social taboos or cultural attitudes otherwise."

"That works for me." Scotaloo said.

"You've been waiting for this for a long time haven't you?" Discord asked.

"Since we didn't turn into giant monsters for that game of ours."

"Well, I did have to avoid doing anything TOO outrageous. And yes, you'll remember everything Costume You did, though Costume You won't be aware of 'you' you. Besides, the costumes designs I gave you are all foal size, so the adults' costumes will all be just costumes if anything goes wrong."

"Girls! Tonight is the ULTIMATE GURP LARPING!" Scootaloo declared.

Session 41.12 Ardashir

Nightmare Night in Ponyville. The normally peaceful village was transformed into a weird fantasyland of ghouls and ghosts, witches and werewolves, vampires and villains. Whinnying fillies and colts would soon be galloping through the streets in search of candy, parents and older siblings barely able to keep up with them.

And inside the Friendship Palace, Twilight Sparkle and Sunset Shimmer were finishing up yet another of their hard-fought chess games.

"So, how was that 'Halloween' parade back in the Canterlot High world?" Twilight said, examining the chessboard. She smiled and made her move. "I take your Rook."

"And lose your Knight," Sunset responded. "The parade was pretty good. The Sirens were surprisingly well behaved. Well, Adagio and Aria were. Sonata, not so much. Ach! My last Bishop!"

"Watch your game better," Twilight chided her. "And what did Sonata do? Or don't I want to know?"

"Well, actually things were going just fine," Sunset carefully examined the board as she spoke, "at least until our float began passing by some food stands. One was selling tacos. You can imagine the rest."

***

"TACOS!"

The crowd fled screaming in every direction as the massive blue-scaled water beast leaped from the tank she rode in. Licking her fangs, she headed straight for the nearest food stand. Its terrified proprietor stood frozen in horror as the ravenous monster headed right for him.

"Sonata!" Adagio snarled at her sister. The 'victims' of the Sirens, several of the boys from Canterlot High, looked on in confusion as she followed Sonata out of the tank, Aria close behind. "Get back in here! We all enjoy scaring people, but this is just gonna get us in more trouble! Come on, Aria!"

"I think I saw the local SWAT team back there in the parade," Aria groused, refusing to leave the tank. "They must have rifles or something, let them handle it." She winced as Adagio gave her a snarl.

"Not! Helping!"

Meanwhile Sonata had overturned the cart and was feasting on the piled tacos. The owner was hopping up and down, tearing at his hair and yelling imprecations. Sonata ignored him entirely.

"Ohh, tacos!" Her eyes drifted half shut as she crunched away. "Yummy, sweet, hot, bloody, spicy meat!"

***

"I can see where that would cause problems -- my Queen!"

"Keep your eyes on the game, Twilight!" Sunset smirked. "Actually, that kind of amused people after the initial panic died down. They paid for the contents of the cart, so the owner was happy; Sonata got to eat her fill of junk food, so she was happy. But that Canterlot Scottish Bagpipe band behind us wasn't happy at all. Especial when the wind whipped up enough to start tossing their kilts." Sunset shuddered. "You think you've seen horrors, but when fifty guys with hairy legs start having their kilts tossed... Ah! You took MY Queen."

"That I did," Twilight said smugly. She frowned at the board. "Now it's my King versus your King and last Bishop. Another draw."

"Looks that way," Sunset grumbled as she rose to leave. "By the way, what are your friends here doing tonight?"

"Dash, Rarity, and Applejack will be taking their little sisters around for treats," Twilight said as she set the board and pieces away. "So it should be a peaceful Nightmare Night. For once. I mean, we're owed, right?"

Session 41.13 Ardashir

"Apple Bloom! Ya ready yet? 'Bout time ta go trick-or-treatin'!" Applejack turned and looked at Big Mac and Granny Smith. "Ya both sure ya won't need any help with the corn maze?"

"Eee-nope," Big Mac said, wearing his Frankenpony costume."

"We'll be just fine," Granny said before she stuck her Sass-squash mask on. "Now git along an' take little Bloom out for her candy."

Inside the room, Apple Bloom took a deep breath and put the Timber Wolf mask on.

"Ah hope Discord didn't try an' prank us." And as she said those words, her body and mind both began to transform as planned.

A moment later a flaming and growling Timber Wolf left the room.

"Woah!" Applejack almost jumped out of her Tin Woodspony costume. "That's a mighty well-made costume there, Apple Bloom!"

"What costume, fleshy pony?" The Timber Wolf growled as it pushed past her and loped out the open door of the farmhouse, stopping just long enough to snatch the bag for treats.

Applejack blinked and smiled.

"Heh! Guess 'Bloom really wants ta get into the spirit o' things tonight!"

***

"Sweetie Belle!" Rarity, wearing a werewolf costume (sent to her by Alisa, and only a costume, thankfully) called upstairs. "Soon now, dear! Let's not be too fashionably late!"

She winced when she saw what her sister was going as. A white and pink Changeling Queen trotted down the stairs, her green eyes almost glowing.

"Hiya, Rarity!" Sweetie grinned at her sister. Rarity tried not to flinch from the impressive fangs her sister was wearing. She seemed on inhale, and Rarity felt slightly weaker. "Boy, your love tastes great. I bet it'll taste even better from all the other ponies in town."

Sweetie hurried out the door, leaving her stunned sister to snatch up her hoof-sewn treats bag and follow her.

***

"C'mon, squirt! Time ta get going and -- WOAH! What're ya supposed ta be? A griffon supervillain?"

"Who's a supervillain, tiny?" Scootaloo, dressed in the costume of a heavily muscled griffon, strode heavily out of her room. She spread her wings, lashed a leonine tail, and scratched at the dirt with her foretalons. "Now let's get going. I wanna meet my friends so we can have fun tonight, and I don't wanna be late because of some slowpoke dweeb pony!" She dropped over the side of Dash's cloud house and flew fast for the ground.

"Yeesh, mouthy much? An' hey! Wait up!"

Dash flew down after Scootagriffon, glad that for once they'd have a nice, quiet, normal Nightmare Night.

Over at Fluttershy's house, where he was sipping some tea with the shy pegasus, Discord grinned evilly.

Session 41.14 Alex Warlorn

The Cutie Mark Crusaders had been very explicit to make sure each of their school friends knew exactly what the costumes did, and what the conditions of the enchantments were. None had told their parents, knowing their families would say 'NO!'

Button Mash looked at his Legend of Cadence costume, Shining Link. Button Mash had been split between this or his Minecraft costume... but this won out. But Sweetie had turned down being the Princess, oh well.

Still, this was a night of immersive gaming he couldn't miss. He put on the costume... and nothing. "Oh wait, I have to put on the cap." Button Mash reluctantly look off his beanie, and put on his head the cap of the hero.

Button Mash stiffened, his ears becoming pointed, and his eyes blue, and his mane turned blond, and an earring appeared on one ear. With the Master Sword and Equestrian Shield on his back, he trotted out of his room.

"Hav a good time honey!" Said his mother, dressed as Mrs. Pac-Mare (you can guess what her husband was).

"HAI!" Shouted the hero, not exactly known for speaking much in game. Taking the candy bag with him to where his friends were.

-

"So... you ready?" Diamond Tiara asked.

"I'm ready when you are." Silver Spoon said.

"Alright then... one."

"Two."

"THREE!" The two said together and put on the gold (and silver) tiaras that were the last parts of their costumes. One magical filly in a white dress decked out in diamonds, the other one in a dark purple costume with silver trim. Their eyes became larger, their noses shaped like ski slops. Their mane becoming black and strayberry bonding. Memories and forms changed.

"CUTE CURE! LIGHT AND DARK!" Shouted the two magically fillies as they struck a nose, and skipped out of the house, chatting to each other in Neighponese. They too their candy bags and skipped out into the night.

In minutes, though none of them were consciously aware WHY, all six transformed foals had arrived together at the spot they didn't remember agreeing on.

Session 41.15 Mtangalion

The Doctor came trotting along, wearing a maroon coat, a floppy hat, and a scarf so long it was a wonder he could walk anywhere without stamping his hooves all over it. "Good evening, ladies! I must say, your costumes really are quite lifelike. Care for a jelly baby?"

"Don't mind if I do," said Sunset, reaching into the offered bag with a slim *hand*. "I've always wondered what these taste like."

Princess Twilight finished putting the chess pieces back in their starting positions. She looked like she was all set for a day at Canterlot High School, textbooks and everything. "I really thought a pair of humans in the middle of Ponyville would attract more attention. I guess anything goes tonight!"

"Rawr!" cried Spike, leaping into view and waving his "talons" at them, cardboard wings wobbling on his back. "Hey, Twilight! Check out my cool griffon costume!"

Just as a shadow swooped in, miming fierce swipes of her "scaly claws." "Wow, wow wow WOW!" whooped Gabby the griffon. "This holiday is so much fun! Look at me, I'm a dragon!"

Spike and Gabby froze, blinking at each other, then burst out laughing.

"What?" asked Windy Whisper, lounging nearby. She was wearing a fake horn and an outfit painted to resemble Luna's regalia. "Heh, isn't anybody going to be offended?"

Sunset grinned. "We Alicorns won't be if you aren't."

"Thestralcorn. I'm a thestralcorn! But, eh, you got me there."

Session 41.16 Richforce

(Author's Notes:

A sequel to my Cosmosis segment. Here's what they are basically dealing with. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tr9M3HZ_nH0

"Thank you for letting me join you on your Cosmosis server," Fluttershy. "I'm a little nervous, I never played anything this complex before."

"Just remember the four x's," said Sunset. "Explore your surroundings, expand your holdings, exploit the resources you control and exterminate your enemies when needed."

"I'm not sure about that last one. And don't those all start with a E?"

"Yeah but the X makes it sound cooler."

"In any case we were all going to start a fresh campaign anyway," said Twilight. "We'd have to anyway for the new patch and story expansion."

"Trixie for one is looking forward to this," said Trixie. "They've added some really powerful spaceborne entities and they feature some particularly lucrative rewards."

"That's not the only thing," said Sunset. "Starlight Glimmer and her friend Sunburst will actually be joining us in a few days once this campaign really gets underway."

"Ok, I'm starting up…" Fluttershy said as she logged. "Oh… looks like my empire is on the other side of the galaxy. It will take time before we can interact in the game itself."

"Probably just in time for Starlight and Sunburst to show up."

+++

Starlight and Sunburst did show up about a week later and the game was getting interesting at that point. By then Twilight had discovered a giant space born creature called a "Star Dragon" that held control on a single star system that included a planet that was much richer in energy and minerals than almost anything else in the game. But getting past the dragon would be far from easy, its relative power allowed to face entire fleets on its own so the Canterlot Federation had formed once again, not just for mutual survival but to try to win through expanding their combined territory gain to over half the galaxy. The rewards on offer from the Dragon's "Hoard" would go a long way to achieving that goal.

"Ok, we're each sending a good portion of our fleets, upgraded with the best tech we have available to slay the dragon," said Starlight.

"Here's the plan," said Sunburst. "On Starlight's signal the two of us will launch our attack on the dragon. When our battleships start taking heavy damage we'll retreat and Twilight, Sunset and Trixie will swoop in and launch a second wave of attacks on the dragon. Once it's down Twilight will send a construction ship in to build a frontier outpost, securing the system and then set up the mining outpost to claim the hoard."

"And the rest of us benefit from this endeavor, right?" asked Trixie.

"Of course," said Twilight. "Once the hoard is claimed I'll set up trade agreements with all of you. You'll each get one fifth of the hoard's output and I'll set up a research agreement if I also find any new technology there as well."

"My fleet's in position," said Sunset. "Just waiting for Starlight to give the word.

An in-game notification came up. "Seriously?!" Twilight said turning to Fluttershy. "You're declaring war on us?! Now?!"

"I'm sorry," said Fluttershy. "But that dragon isn't hurting anybody. It's…It's not right to kill it just for some rocks and electrity. I'm setting my war goal for you to cede control of the system, that way no one will have a reason to kill it."

"It's not real," groaned Trixie. "It's just a video game baddie."

"It's still the principle, and besides I thought we were encouraging role play."

"It is still wildly impractical," said Starlight. "Your empire only got into official contact with ours by contact between one of your science vessels and Sunburst's. With the distance between us by the time any of your fleets gets here it will all be over."

"I… still standby my decision."

"Ok then, Sunburst commence the attack!"

Starlight and Sunburst's fleet began firing their first volleys and the Dragon fired back, at that point another in-game notification appeared.

"I don't believe it," said Twilight. "The War in Heaven event, the patch's other big introduction!"

"The one where two hyper advanced and stagnant empires start expanding again and declare war on each other?" said Trixie.

"The same," said Sunset. "It's supposed to be a cataclysmic event that lasts for centuries in game. Looks like one of them the "Vornerian Ascendency" is approaching Fluttershy's "Butterfly League".

"I still think that name is too no the nose," said Sunburst.

"But the butterfly portrait is so cute," said Fluttershy. "Oh, the Ascendency wants me to ally with them. Since I wouldn't stand a chance I'll have to say yes."

Trixie looked at a new notification. "And because they are now Fluttershy's allies the Vornerians are declaring war on the whole Canterlot federation!"

"We'll worry about that later!" said Starlight. "You guys get ready to swap with us!"

"Hostile fleet engaged," came a voice from the computers.

"The Ascendency is here!" said Twilight. "We're not ready to take such advanced ships!"

The forces of the Canterlot Federation soon found themselves sandwiched between a very angry Star Dragon and a fleet of hyper advanced warships. In short order, most of the military might of the Canterlot Federation was wiped out by the two-pronged attack.

"Well that was a disaster," said Starlight. It's going to take our empires months to build the fleets back up.

Fluttershy gave a gasp of relief. "Well at least the dragon is safe now."

It was then the weakened dragon attacked the Ascendency fleet, prompting a counter attack by the now awakened empire. After a short battle the only known Star Dragon was dead.

Twilight looked at Fluttershy sadly. "She wanted it alive, Fluttershy is going to be crushed."

The first battle of the War in Heaven didn't end how anyone expected.

+++

Fluttershy was grinning as her forces launched an attack on Xil'lith Continuum, the mortal enemies of the Ascendency. "I was sad when the dragon was killed, but I'm happy with how things turned out. You ended the war right away, even let me keep the Hoard."

Trixie grumbled.

"Trixie you can't still be upset about what Fluttershy got," Sunset said.

"It's just…she could have called it something amazing, why call it Wayne?"

Fluttershy played with her hair a bit. "Well he just looks like a Wayne."

Soon after Butterfly League claimed the Dragon's Hoard their scientists had found something miraculous, a single egg. After a considerable research project the Butterfly League had made themselves from another species siding with the Ascendency to an ally who stood to help end the War in Heaven centuries sooner than was thought possible by gaining one of most powerful weapons in the galaxy.

But all Fluttershy could think of was how happy Wayne the Star Dragon looked as he unleashed death and destruction on another Continuum armada.

Session 41.17 Mtangalion

President Sombra adjusted his red crystal lapel pin, then straightened his tie as he sized up his audience.

"Good morning, and welcome to CrystalCon!" He grinned broadly, clasping his hands behind his back. "I just can't say enough how much we appreciate all you fans out there, your dedication, your energy... And most especially the fifteen bucks that you shell out every month to keep playing this crazy game, plus the extra forty on top of that for our latest and greatest expansion, Wrath of the Crystal King!"

He raised a finger, gesturing. "Paid sex changes! That's an actual item in our budget now, folks. Only at CrystalSoft, and we owe it all to you!" He pulled a big round plush toy out of his coat. "Parasprites, on sale for twenty bucks in the convention store, right now! Can you believe that? I sure can't, but I'm not gonna argue!"

He chortled. "So you can knock yourselves out having more lame cartoon horse adventures in the frozen north... Or you can stop being a bunch of Nightmare Moon-farming pansies and sign up for Royal Academy Arena! Red team rocks! Am I right?!

And then you're gonna queue up for the new War Games feature, cause I had to approve a lot of dev and art hours for that, and our lead writer nearly went insane trying to justify PvP battlegrounds in a game with only one freakin' player faction... but we did it, folks! You're gonna play it, and you're gonna love it... or maybe you won't, cause I'll be personally in there ganking your scrub flanks up one side and down the other. Hah! Ahhh... hahaha!"

Chrysalis, Vice-President of Software Development, slid back the curtain behind him, giving him a smug look. "Did you get it all out of your system, sir?"

"Yes!" declared Sombra, turning away from the mirror. "Yes, I did!" He marched out of the dressing room, took a left down the hall, and marched onto the main auditorium stage. "Good morning, CrystalCon!" He raised a clenched fist, soaking in the rock music and the cheers from the packed audience.

Sombra clapped his hands together. "Are there any ponies here?" A fresh round of cheers.

"YEEAAAHHH!" bellowed Snowflake, wearing a homemade pegasus costume with tiny wings.

"How about griffons?" boomed Sombra. "Do we have any griffon fans here today?" A smaller, but more boisterous bunch of fans started cheering and yelling. "Now that's a proper Griffonstone welcome!" His sharp eyes zeroed in on one particular fan. "Gilda, right? Good cheer. You're not fired." The crowd laughed, eating it up. "Okay, we've got a lot of exciting news, so let's get to it!"

Session 41.18 Kendell2

The Changelings' buckball team took on the Ponyville team, and it was far from an easy game.

Not only were they the SAME genetically selected Changelings as Chrysalis, the purification of Thorax's hive had resulted in a considerable power up.

The game went back and forth for awhile, but finally they Ponyville team just BARELY edged out a one point victory.

"That...was hard..." Fluttershy panted, laying on her back. Even Pinkie seemed tired.

King Thorax flew over to congratulate the winning team...then blinked as the changeling team looked fearfully, but expectantly at him. "What?"

The trio blinked, looking to each other. "W-We lost..."

"Yes...so?" Thorax asked. "You look more scared than disappointed..."

"Y-You...you aren't going to harshly punish us for embarrassing you, your majesty?" another asked.

Thorax was quickly reminded of just who he'd overthrown for his position. "Oh...No, I won't..." he blinked, then produced a book called 'How To Be a Good Ruler' by Princess Celestia and double checking. "Unless I missed a rule somewhere...No, you didn't do anything wrong and tried your best. You didn't embarrass me."

The trio stared at him in blind shock, causing the new Changeling King to feel awkward.

"Is...something wrong?" Thorax questioned.

"No...I just feel a strange feeling..." One of them replied, looking bewildered. "I think this is what being encouraged feels like..."

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 41.0 Kendell2
Session 41.1 BrutalityInc
Session 41.2 Alex Warlorn
Session 41.3 Mtangalion
Session 41.4 BrutalityInc
Session 41.5 Alex Warlorn
Session 41.6 Alex Warlorn
Session 41.7 Alex Warlorn Mtangalion SomeRandomMinon
Session 41.8 Grogar The Onser
Session 41.9 BrutalityInc   (Nightmare Night: What a fright! Here's an entry for a sight!)
Session 41.10 BrutalityInc
Session 41.11 Alex Warlorn
Session 41.12 Ardashir
Session 41.13 Ardashir
Session 41.14 Alex Warlorn
Session 41.15 Mtangalion
Session 41.16 Richforce
Session 41.17 Mtangalion
Session 41.18 Kendell2

Cover image by http://foudubulbe.deviantart.com/
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/632132060

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Session 42

Session 42.0 Brutality

(Alright, since no one continued this from Session 41.10...)

The Yearning city local advanced towards them, unusually fast in his gallop due to his longer limbs. He gave an inequine growl as he took his rusted axe from his belt, stained with dry blood.

"SCATTER!" Twinkle Shine cried out, her voice a pitch higher than normal, just as their foe was upon them.

Driven by instincts, the rest of the herd complied. Their foe's axe fell and chipped the cobblestone where they were merely a moment past. They ran around him, giving him a great berth; even so, Lemon Hearts nearly had a heart attack when he followed his first strike with a second wide swing, which she barely ducked, but costed her the top half of her hat and some hairs from her mane.

Bon Bon reacted quickly, almost automatically thanks to her training. Whereas the others ran to safety behind him, she ducked, rolled between the stallion-creature's long legs, and before he knew what was going on, she reared and bucked with all her might, hooves pointed straight at one of his hind legs.

The stallion-creature screamed in agony as his broken leg buckled under him, dropping his axe and crumbling to the cobblestone ground. Bon Bon seized the advantage; she took hold of the axe with her hat gemstone's magic, and holding it high even as the stallion writhed on the ground, gripped by pain.

It was at that moment Bon Bon stopped. There was the werewolf they faced in the clinic, and then there was this pony here. A strange, deluded and hostile pony - afflicted by some scourge, from the looks of it - but a pony nevertheless. Who cares if he was merely part of the horror adventure module? Just because it is ultimately fake doesn't mean it was any less real for her right now.

Part of her screamed that it was the enemy, like the other monstrous foes that she had faced in her past career, something rabid and dangerous that needs to be contained, or even put down. Yet in her heart was also the sense of duty to protect and save pony lives, and the trademark Equestrian compassion to not kill, and give their foes a second chance.

The two instincts, two sides she had - the Hunter, and the Candy-maker - clashed inside her, a battleground beginning to form as her old memories – her old self – begin to re-emerge.

She briefly considered turning the axe to its blunt end and use it to knock the pony-creature out. But then she looked into that snarling pony's eyes, as it turned to face her...

What she saw made her pause. There was no spark in those feverish yellow eyes; nothing that remotely resembles equine. Within those blurred, crimson-tinted pupils...was a look of animalistic hunger and bloodlust, any trace of reason and civility long since gone, and any memory of his pony self seemingly about to be drowned in it, too. There wasn't even a trace of fear, existing in even the most basic of animals.

In the depths of her mind, the Hunter became ascendant.

She didn't hesitate a moment longer.

= = =

Lyra wished she could summon her hand constructs, or her lute that could allow her to use some music magic she had learnt back in Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. But in this adventure module, they can only use what abilities and tools that are available to their Sancthar characters.

Which is unfortunate, given her magical skills could be quite handy (Pun intended) in dealing with the situation they found themselves now; as would Twinkle Shine's light magics, Lemon Heart's lemon familiars and Minuette's time-rewind abilities.

They had kept galloping pass that mutated pony-creature, only to find themselves facing a dead-end, turning a street corner. And that wasn't the end of it.

Three more of those freaks were standing there, looking at a burning pyre with flames that were winding down, having exhausted its fuel of rotting, accursed flesh and leaving only charred skeletons – both ponies and beast alike – upon its pile of tinders and ashes. Like the ones scattered all over the streets of Yearning, along with the burnt-out shells of many houses.

Lyra shuddered to imagine how many had been slain by these maniacs. Meanwhile, the other girls are pondering options behind the overturned cart they hid behind.

"Where's Bon Bon?! We lost her back over there with that freak!" Minuette noticed.

"Bon Bon's tougher than she looks..." And a lot more skilful too, Lyra wanted to add, though she kept that to herself, "She'll get away from him and catch up. The problem is those three bozos over there..."

"Maybe they're nicer than that guy?" Lemon Hearts suggested.

"Unlikely, given how tall and hairy they look." Twinkle Shine shook her head as she gauged the situation, "From the looks of it, whatever happened to that guy happened to them, and probably the rest of the city as well."

"The whole town does look like it's almost finished..." Minuette commented, wincing from the smell of burning flesh and charred bone, "The question is, why? What happened here?"

"We can figure this out later. No doubt we'll be uncovering more lore as we play through this adventure..." Twinkle Shine determined, before she peeked over the cart, "Anypony saw a way out of this dead end?"

The rest started looking around, and Lemon Hearts paused when she saw something in the area between the cart and the pyre, "That lever over there! Looks like it activates that ladder next to it!"

"How? It's connected to the ground –" Minuette muttered, but Lemon Heart had already taken off from the cart and headed towards it.

"Careful! See if you can activate it without alerting those creeps!" Lyra hissed.

Reaching it without being seen, Lemon Heart pulled the lever – and covered her ears as the ladder dropped from its retracted position on the walls with a resounding metallic crash.

Twinkle Shine muttered a curse as the three pony freaks turned from the pyre to them, their blood-shot, yellow and crimson eyes giving them their undivided attention, "Guess not. Come on! Up the ladder!"

They rushed over to the ladder and started climbing it as the three Yearning city ponies readied their weapons and begin striding over, ranting and howling about them being ‘Scourge-bringing vermin' and ‘Cursed beasts'.

"What do we do if they follow us up?!" Minuette asked aloud.

"Then we'll throw the first thing we saw on top down at them!"

They were halfway up when Bon Bon appeared around the corner, still holding the axe. It was crimson with fresh blood.

"Bon Bon! Up here! Hurry!" Lyra called out to Bon Bon, seeing her, before clambering over the top.

Bon Bon's gallop skidded to a halt just at the ladder, right as the Yearning ponies reached the location. She swung the axe with her hat gemstone's telekinesis, forcing them back with the berth of her swing. But it didn't deter them. They cornered her, circled around her like a pack of wolves, waiting for her guard to slip even for a moment so to strike.

Bon Bon grimaced. If she were to climb the ladder without being attacked from behind, she would need to distract them.

In a bold move, she tossed the axe, which lodged right into the chest of the nearest foe. The pony-creature gurgled as blood poured out of his chest and mouth, and his companions looked on with shock as he collapsed.

Bon Bon didn't waste any time gawking at the results; she was already clambering up the ladder, reaching the top in short order. She found herself in another street on another level of the city, just above the one they were in, and as she climbed over, she found the girls doing something unusual.

"What are you doing?" She called out to the rest of the mares in the group.

"What do you think?! We're dropping the first thing we find right on top of them, and this is the first thing we found!" Lemon Hearted responded, "Now get out of the way and help us with this!"

The remaining two Yearning ponies were now climbing up the ladder, determined, seemingly to the point of eagerness, to hunt down their quarry. Then they noticed that something big was appearing over the edge. The one in front, carrying a butcher's cleaver in his mouth, had a moment to realize that something big, now tipping over the edge, is in fact a pony-drawn carriage.

There was an audible crunch, of squashed flesh, breaking bones and shattering wood as the carriage fell over and crushed the pursuing assailants under its weight.

"Well, that took care of them!" Minuette panted. Of course, they didn't actually wanted to crush them, just merely stall or deter them from coming up after them, but the consequences of the actual outcome didn't cross their minds, "So what now?"

"Where there's four of them, there's probably more around the area." Bon Bon remarked, her voice suddenly commanding and harsher than merely minutes before. The other mares noticed that, along with the patches and smears of blood that are now on her Sancthar attire, "We need to find a secure place that we can hide and plan our next move before more of them shows up."

"Where? The whole place looks badly trashed, and those freaks and other beasts are probably everywhere. It's not like anyone is going to open a door and let us in!" Lemon Heart lamented.

Then, they heard a whistle, and turned to find a door that's partly opened, from a house across the street that looked boarded up from the inside. Next to the door and windows are lamps, lit with orange flames that smelt of incense.

"Over here!" Some-pony called out to them from the gap at the door in a hushed and urgent tone, "Come on, you fools! More of them are probably coming for the racket you caused! Do you want to get caught out in the open?!"

The players looked at each other, surprised and uncertain. Then, they hurried towards the house, and upon entry, the door was slammed and locked shut behind them.

Session 42.1 MagicMan001

"Put me down! Put me do-o-o-o-own!"

  Chrysalis pressed her ears against her head and sighed, "We've been through this, Imago. If I let you go, you'll try and fly off again, and I am not prepared to spend the whole the afternoon chasing you down."

Having rescuing her daughter from that irritating magical imp creature and his game board of living pieces, Chrysalis was now taking the long trek through the Badlands to bring her back to their new home. It was one of Chrysalis' old castles, off the books and the maps, a much better place to start up their fledgling hive than that cave: that was at least one thing the Queen and her daughter agreed on. The two could have flown the whole way back and cut the travel time in half if it weren't for her daughter's infuriating refusal to cooperate. A few tight leather straps solved that little problem, but created another with a wriggling nymph bound to her back preventing Chrysalis' wings from taking off.

  "I'm not going back to that gross cave!" Imago protested, her lanky legs flailing and doing her best to try and dig them into her mother's side.

"We're not going back to the cave," she answered matter-of-factly, "We're going to be living in a castle instead. It's cold, gloomy, and infested with rats. You love rats."

  "I don't care where we're going!" hissed Imago. "I don't wanna be part of your stupid hive anymore!"

Chrysalis paused as she climbed onto a toppled tree log crossing a short but deep chasm, looking over her shoulder to retort with a hawkish glare, "Well, tough luck, Imago, because as long as you are my daughter, you are part of this hive, whether you like it or not!"

With careful footing and the graceful balance of an academy ballet dancer, she crossed the log at a steady pace, never mind the ingrate still acting up on her back. That didn't prevent her from reprimanding her further though.  "Now when we get back, you're going to be grounded in your new room for a week, young lady."

  Imago squawked, "What?!"

"For running away and worrying your family sick, yes!"

  By this point, rivets of tears were cascading down Imago's muzzle. "Why do you keep doing this to me!?" she wailed, "You always do this! Every time I try and act like a grownup! You always treat me like a stupid hatchling!"

  "Because you are a stupid hatchling, Imago, my hatchling, and nothing will change that!" Chrysalis grunted as she tried to maintain her balance and ignore the screaming in her ear. "Especially when you go off and get caught up in moronic situations like you did with that imp brat. I mean, seriously, what was all that beetle dung even about?!"

"I was doing fine on my own!"

  "Oh, so you mean getting turned into a living game piece for all eternity was all part of your master plan?"

Imago's tear-streaked face burned green and she began pounding her hooves into her side, shrieking with each furious punch, "Well, you! Let! ME! GO!"

They reached the other side of the chasm. In the distance, Chrysalis could make out the skyline of her castle carving into the sunset. Time for a respite, but only for a few moments. It would likely be late in the evening if they kept at this pace on hoof.

"Only because I didn't think you'd be dumb enough to actually leave the Badlands!" she growled, stopping to take out and swig from a flask of love juice to regenerate her cells. "Back home, you only just made it outside the Hive walls. Well, that's the last time you pull this crap again, because from now own, I'm never letting you out of my sight. Understood?"

Three...two...one.

"YOU HATE ME-E-E-E!!!" Imago screamed as loud as her lungs would allow. She punched, kicked and bite at her mother's aged and toughened carapace to no avail. "YOU'VE ALWAYS HATED ME!!! WAAAAAAAHH!!!"
 "Oh and there it is!" Chrysalis finally shouted in frustration, sinking to her haunches and checking her ears in case they'd been shattered. It honestly surprised her it had taken them this long to reach this old checkpoint.  
"WH-WH-WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME MOMMY?!? WHY ARE YOU SO HORRIBLE TO ME!? YO-YOU DIDN'T EVEN COME AFTER ME WHEN I RAN AWAY!"

"Oh yes, that's right, Imago! I don't love you one bit, do I?" Chrysalis' forced laughter was choking with sarcasm. "That's exactly why I came flying to your rescue when I heard you'd been turned into a filly-sized rooke piece by some--some--okay, seriously now, what was with that kid anyway? How'd he even get the power to turn creatures into living game pieces anyhow? It doesn't even make any sense!"

But the little ex-Princess was too caught up in the temper tantrum of the century to pay attention to anything else. "I DON'T BELIEVE YOU! YOU'VE NEVER LIKED ME! WAAAAAAA-HAAAAAAA!!!"

When she started pulling on Chrysalis' mane, the line had been finally crossed.

"Alright, that's it!"

Imago opened her watery eyes to find herself landing on her rump against the dirt ground. She looked back and saw her mother grumpily taking a seat on the log and a cigarette attached to a golden holder from her bag of provisions.

"Mommy is taking her ‘happy stick' break, sweetheart," Chrysalis declared passive-aggressively as she lit the cigarette from the tip of her horn. "We'll get back on the road once you tired yourself out. Go ahead, knock yourself out."

Seeing her last opportunity to flee her mother's claws, Imago tried to fly away, but felt something yank her back with a painful "Oof!" A hatchling harness, complete with an adorable ladybug buckle, magically appeared and fastened around her carapace. The opposite end of the leash hooked to her back was tied into one of the holes in her mother's legs.

"I mean it. Get it all out of your system."

A bubble grew in Imago's throat. She wanted to shout, to scream so loud the whole plant would know of her injustice. All that she could muster was a low, heart-wrenching sob. More and more tears gushed from her eyes like a pair of garden sprinklers.

She then just collapsed in a quivering heap, kicking and pounding the earth, not giving a damn how dirty and unkempt she was making herself look. Even the fact she was ruining her precious silver pineapple hooficure was a miles away from her mind.

Chrysalis inwardly sighed and took an overly long drag from her cigarette, the holder which she held gracefully in the narrowest hole in her hoof. Good thing she brought a whole pack. This was going to take a while.

‘Almost made it to a month. Thanks a lot, kid.'

Session 42.2 Grogar-the-oneser

It was suppose to be a simple day of fun. Pony Twilight gave them a enchanted comic and they all decided to use it for a day of fun.

What they weren't expecting was the fetish fuel.

"WHAT IN TARNATION!" Applejack shouted as she was wearing what could only be described as armor underwear. "WHY AM I WEARING THIS?!"

Rarity who was also wearing a purple bikini like outfit sighed annoyed. "Now Applejack calm down, its not that bad of a look. Besides why are you freaking out, aren't you a Red Sonja fan?"

"Just cause Ah like the comic doesn't mean Ah wanna dress as her for halloween!" Applejack snapped.

Fluttershy was blushing about as while she was wearing cleric like clothing she was also wearing a skin tight latex outfit. "I-its not so bad Applejack. It's surprisingly comfortable."

"Yeah don't be a worry wort!" Pinkie said wearing a lucky bunny outfit.

"Pinkie why are ya wearing that!" Applejack snapped.

"I don't know, but I feel lucky in it, oh a sword!" Pinkie said picking up a sword, it automatically increase all her stats dramatically "NEAT!"

Sunset, Sci-Twi and Rainbow, who were wearing normal outfits just look at the scene with a deadpanned look on their face.

Session 42.3 Grogar-the-oneser

"Your majesty it's terrible!" Locust shrieked as Chrysalis made it back with Imago whining all the while.

"What now?" Chrysalis growled.

"Your son is on a feeding frenzy, I mean it wasn't so bad when he got rid of the pest problem in the castle, even though him barfing rat skeleton was gross. But now he's kinda hunting us, not your other daughter, he's not that hungry, but the rest of us are fair game.."

"I don't understand, we have lots of food what could have triggered his feeding frenzy."

"We might have played hungry hungry hippo's in front of him," Locust said.

"....You know if I still had my entire army I would have killed you and replace you with someling else just for the sheer stupidity of what you just said and it somehow making sense."

"I know." Locust sighed.

Session 42.4 Ardashir

(OOC: Continuation of part 13 from chapter XLI)

Nightmare Night in Ponyville. Costumed young and adult ponies trotted through the streets, along with some non-pony guests. At least one griffon went trick or treating with Spike; and some of King Thorax's Changelings buzzed overhead, watching the strange pony celebration in utter confusion.

And in the midst of it all, in the Ponyville town square where booths and tubs for apple bobbing and the spider toss and pumpkin chucking were in use, and where a band played spooky music, six foals met

"Greetings, fleshy ones!" Apple Wolf growled to her friends. She shook herself, sending both splinters and sparks flying. "Looks like we're all ready for tonight's game. Which is going to consist of, 'See how many ponies can guess who you really are'. Winner gets first pick out of everyone's treats!"

"Woah!" Scootagriffon flew over and around her, her mighty wings beating the air. "That. Is. Awesome! We're gonna scare everypony tonight!"

"HAI!" The magical fillies Light and Dark said as one.

Button Link said very little. His eyes and attention were all on Hive Queen Sweetie. She in turn smiled a fangs-bared smile at him, slowly inhaling some of the puppy love he felt for her.

Nearby Tin Woodsman Applejack, Werewolf Rarity, and Dash in the goggles and helmet and wool-lined jacket of the long-lost pegasus fighting ace Flying Circus watched everything with vast amusement.

"Yeesh, they're really gettin' into it tonight, huh?" Dash grinned and snatched an apple from the nearby water-filled tub.

"I hope they don't take it too far," Rarity primped and preened her currently lupine fur (despite Alisa's assurances, she felt wary). "I want them to enjoy themselves," she hesitated and watched as Apple Bloom and Scootagriff together made a mock-scary charge at some younger foals, who scattered in a whickering burst of laughter, "not to terrorize the town."

"Ah, let 'em have their fun," Applejack said. "How much trouble can they git inta in one night, anyway? Even with those fancy costumes -- say, were did they get them from?"

In Fluttershy's house, Discord winced.

"Applejack, please stop tempting me!"

Session 42.5 Alex Warlorn

"I can't believe we're playing this game again." Rainbow Dash said.

"Once a rogue like has you in it's clutches, it never lets go." Pinkie Pie said.

"A rather grim view." Rarity said. "Sadly fitting for this game."

"Well, at least it'll take our minds all this other crazy stuff that's been happenin'." AJ said.

"So here we are again," Twilight said, "Playing Darkest Dungeon."

Fluttershy, was reasonably absent.

Twilight was again playing the Heir, while Spike played the Ancestor.

The heroes had gone after the giant mobile canon that the Ancestor before his death had hired to try and keep the towns people in line, and with the Ancestor dead were still terrorizing the countryside. They'd destroyed the first version of it, but that left two more versions.

Sadly, all four of their heroes had gone insane before they had even reached the boss, and were forced to retreat when they desperately tried to fight it anyway, but this clearly proved impossible.

They had had much better luck with the mad prophet, even taking out one of the pews for extra cash...a hard task given how much damage the prophet dealt with with the falling rumble and making it first to finish him quickly.

Pinkie Pie asked. "Why does the Ancestor keep calling his prophecies 'mindless rambling' and 'mad drooling' when everything he predicted came true? The Ancestor's plans DID trigger the end of the world!"

"Ah think he's just bein' a stubborn git! Even DEAD he doesn't wanna admit how bad he screwed up!" AJ snorted.

Twilight had, to make the game easier, disabled a few of the game's more brutality difficulty settings. Such as keeping Town Events off, until they had a party of level six heroes so they wouldn't be caught with their pants down by the 'Wolfs at the gate' random town event.

They had scored a killing...and sadly it didn't last long with the insane costs of treating high level heroes and the increasing price of upgrading equipment that could ONLY be used THAT particular hero.

Things got harder with how high level heroes refused to take on quests that were two levels below them...making them useless...it was a mad house.

They'd chosen a Jester, a Abomination, their only Bounty Hunter, and and a Grave Robber to take on a simple medium sized quest in the woods to take out all 'room' battles. They didn't have a healer, but they bought all the food the store had, so it wouldn't be a problem...or so they thought.

The first monster they encountered however, right out of the gate was...was a blue glowing pony skull in a golden cage like a crown, garbed in a robe of yellow.

"THE COLLECTOR?!" AJ shouted. "THAT DON"T MAKE SENSE! He's only supposed to show up when our back packs at full!"

"Technically it's when your packs are over 65% full he has a 1 in 20 chance of appearing."

"This is just great!" Rainbow snorted.

They managed to stun the collector on the first round...then...his collection appeared.

the disembodied heads of their former dead characters...now enslaved to the collector.

Twilight would later tell them they should have focused on the heads of the highwaymares, not the heads the stallion-at-arms. But, they did indeed defeat the collector, and a very precious jewel of out of it...but cost them a lot of food to move on...yet move on they did...room by room...but food being their only real heal for three of them (the abomination could self heal)...thing finally were too much after digging away brambles with both shovels they brought-

"HOW THE HECK DOES THESE SHOVELS KEEP BREAKING AFTER ONLY ONE USE?! IT'S CRAZY!" The farmer protested in fury.

They'd actually gone past an old grave, choosing not to dig it up for treasure to avoid using it up...now they wish they had...since now a THIRD wall of brambles awaited them...and the stress and damage by using it by hand would be too much...they had to retreat...They had gotten some heirlooms to expand the Hamlet...but all their profits were in the negative thanks to wasted supplies, and having to pay for getting their heroes sane again and TREATING THEM FOR RABIES!

"Reminds me why we're playing this!" Rainbow moaned.

"Once the rogue like has you in its claws, it never lets go," Pinkie Pie said.

Session 42.6 Kendell2

"Okay, so everything sat up?" Rainbow Dash asked, trotting into the 'interdimensional gaming room' as they called it. Which was basically a secret room Twilight had sat out for computer games connected to the human world's internet. Without the town finding out it was there. They hoped.

Twilight nodded, having set up the computer and game. "You have no idea how much work it took Sunset to carry over your characters from Dragon Eggs Xenoverse 1 from an alternate universe."

The first game had been a good bit different between universes, which didn't help.

Rainbow Dash got her headset on and nodded. "Yeah, tell her thanks."

The lavender alicorn nodded. "I will...Oh! And don't forget that you need a different character this time! Your old character is there for different reasons."

The cyan pegasus shrugged. "Eh, so long as I can be a Neighyan! They added Super Neighyan 3 in this game!"

Applejack rolled her eyes. "That form never really work out? Last Ah remember it drained energy faster than Applebloom drains her candy back on Nightmare Night."

"Eh, it looks cool..."

"I'm just glad the Super Neighyan forms aren't broken like in the first game," Twilight remarked. "I'm going to be a Frost Demare. I like the idea that a member of that psycopath's family is a good guy."

"Ah'm gonna be an Equstrian," Applejack replied. "Ah like the idea that if they can work hard enough they can get as strong as all these fancy guys."

"I'm going to be a Manejin!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed with a big smile. "Because they make me think of bubble gum!...Or Taffy!...I think I'll name her taffy."

Session 42.7 Mtangalion

At CrystalCon, the lights in the main auditorium dimmed, and a video began to play, showing a pegasus pony gliding through moonlit clouds. A caption appeared, reading "CrystalSoft presents," and the crowd started cheering. "The next chapter of World of Horsecraft..."

Rainbow Dash put on a serious scowl. "Hay, it's about time."

Gilda smirked. "SpaceCraft called, Dashie. They want their catchphrase back."

"Heh." Rainbow elbowed her in the ribs.

On the screen, the pegasus swooped through a break in the clouds, triggering a swell of heroic music, and a panorama of a mountaintop crammed with illuminated buildings and towers. "CANTERLOT," read a second caption. "One year after the defeat of Discord."

Twilight turned her head, whispering. "I haven't played this game as much as some of the rest of you, but I'm pretty sure that Canterlot doesn't look nearly that elaborate in game, although that's understandable, being that this is a prerendered cinematic."

Princess Twilight shook her head at her twin. "Actually, Canterlot does look like that in reality, if you discount gross errors like Luna's Observatory being on the northwest side of the palace instead of the southwest, and the Foal Mountains being in the wrong place, but this raises even more questions about how game designers in the human world are able to..."

All of their friends shushed them loudly.

The "camera" perspective fell all the way to street level, showing the "Princess Platinum Hall of Antiquities," where a pink and purple Alicorn was stepping out of a carriage, wearing golden hoofshoes, a necklace, and a small crown.

A Canterlot guard turned around, then gasped and snapped to attention, bowing his head. "Princess Mi Amore Cadenza!"

"Cadence, please," said the Alicorn in a kind but concerned tone. "This is where it happened?"

More scenes showed the doors being opened, and Cadence being escorted through a building half in ruins, past eerie, darkened exhibits all in disarray, while the guard's voiceover continued. "Yes, your highness. This is where the Blade of Deepest Shadow was kept. The curators thought it harmless, until the captain...or former captain, I should say, stole it in front of many witnesses and unleashed its power. Highness, there's no need for you to distress yourself here! The investigators..."

"I will investigate this myself," said Cadence firmly, now standing alone in front of a smashed display case. She bowed her head, fighting back tears. "Oh, Shining...What could have made you do this?"

"Well, somepony has to defend this realm," declared a male voice. Hoofsteps advanced towards her, broken glass crunching beneath mailed hooves. "It's obvious now that Celestia and Luna aren't strong enough to protect anything."

Cadence turned and gasped, horrified. "Shiny!? You can't mean that!"

Little of the stallion's white coat and blue mane could be seen beneath the full suit of black chitinous plate he wore, and the stolen crystal greatsword was strapped across his back. He chuckled. "I've made some fine new allies in the frozen north, Cady. Once the Crystal Empire rules Equestria, then we'll finally have the peace and order we deserve. Come with me, Cadence!" He extended a hoof, giving her a heartbreaking smile. "I still need you!"

Princess Cadence took a deep breath, unable to look him in the eyes. "I sense only a black pit in your heart, where our love should be. You are NOT Shining Armor. Who are you!?"

The stallion began to laugh...and the tone of the laugh changed disturbingly. His horn ignited...vivid green! The glow spread down him slowly, revealing that "he" was really a her, a tall black insect-pony with holes in her hooves, wild green hair and eyes, and a jagged black horn.

In the audience, Princess Twilight shrieked and grabbed hold of Flash Sentry, who nearly jumped out of his own seat before he grinned and hugged her back. "This is so cliched," murmured Princess Twilight, "but I think I get it now!"

Far, far away, in the actual Crystal Empire, Prince Shining Armor gasped. "Somewhere, there's a stallion who needs the 'You'd better treat Twily right' talk!"

Princess Cadence smiled and nuzzled her husband, already making plans. "It's certainly took her long enough."

On the big convention screen, Chrysalis leered at Cadence, stepping forward menacingly. The crystal greatsword was gone, merely a part of her disguise. "You're absolutely right, princess. It's such a shame that no one is going to believe you, if you tell them what you saw here. Or that Shining Armor...hmmm, no...what are the papers calling him these days?" She laughed wickedly. "No pony will believe that 'Tarnished Armor' the traitor didn't take that sword of his own free will, and betray everything he loved."

Cadence backed away, looking to her guards...but both of them were suddenly engulfed in green flame too, turning into smaller black insect-ponies that screeched and hissed at her.

"Of course," said Chrysalis, "if you really *can't* wait to be reunited with him..."

Cadence scowled at them...and reluctantly fled. They chased her through the museum's darkened halls...at every turn, more museum staff or bystanders offered her a fleeting hope before they transformed too, joining in the chase. Cadence flew out the front doors, gasping for breath...and when she looked back, all of the invaders were gone or vanished, as if none of it had ever happened.

The frame dissolved slowly to a view of Cadence in a castle tower, writing letters. "Unfortunately, that monster, whoever she was, was right. Even Aunt Celestia and Aunt Luna found it difficult to believe me. Everypony is saying that I'm blinded by love, that I'll make up any excuse to clear Shining's name...And so, I write to you, the heroes who have defended us time and time again. The fate of Equestria is in your hooves once more!"

Session 42.8 Kendell2

"So they added you to the fighting game about us in DLC?" Twilight asked, watching Trixie play the game as herself against Chrysalis.

The azure unicorn gave dramatic smirk. "Indeed! They recognized how awesome Trixie truly is when she helped save the world!" she exclaimed, then blowing Chrysalis back with a fireworks style explosion and filling her power meter. She triggered the finisher and caused her in game self to headbutt Chrysalis.

It cut away to Trixie using illusions to distract her before tying Chrysalis up and letting loose a massive explosion of fire works around her.

"KO! Trixie Wins!" the announce called as game Trixie bowed dramatically.

Twilight chuckled. "You deserve it...what about Thorax?"

"They offered, but he doesn't know everything he can do now yet," Trixie replied.

Twilight then looked over to Discord, who was playing separately. "What are you doing?"

"In practice mode hitting Chrysalis with every single ultimate in the game..." Discord replied, using Celestia's to do just that.

"...Okay..."

Session 42.9 Ardashir

"Very well," Chrysalis folded her arms across her chest and huffed. "I suppose my character -- I mean, Queen Chrysalis can be your, I mean, King Sombra's second in command" She smiled. "Especially since, what with him being still encased within the ice, she'll be getting all the screen time." She turned and sauntered out of the office.

"Ugh," Sombra shuddered. At least she hadn't tried seducing him, the way she once used to try. Attractive woman, but he'd learned how she treated her ex-lovers. Gilgamesh would have been safer with the goddess Ishtar.

His phone rang.

"Hello! Oh, Radiant, dear," his voice too on a gentle tone few ever heard from him. "Yes, she was just in here. No, she didn't try anything, just gloated over that bug getting more 'screen time' than my, I mean than King Sombra." He chuckled. "Yes, I know. She's as childish and predictable as ever. If she wasn't my best executive...Anyway, it should be amusing when she sees the scene where Queen Chrysalis is forced to grovel before 'her master' for background information that will be run before every single quest the players are given." The voice on the other end of the line became mildly remonstrating. Sombra sighed and rolled his eyes. "Yes, dear, I won't rub it in."

He hung up the phone and smirked.

"Not too much, anyway."

Session 42.10 Magicman001

Chrysalis grinded her last cigarette into the ground with the blade of her hoof. A trail of bilious smoke rose from her pursed lips into the evening sky. The sun was sinking fast behind their castle and the mountain range, covering the Badlands in an orange gel. It'd be nightfall very soon.

A stone's throw away, her daughter's tantrum had long since burned out, whimpering softly and rocking to and back in a fetal position.

Stepping over the heap of ash and cigarette butts, Chrysalis circled around Imago's form, eyeing her bedraggled state with subdued disapproval before parking her haunches down next to her.

Poor Imago looked so miserable, so unprincesslike covered head to tail in dirt, Chrysalis couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy in her dark, shrivelled-up heart. She ran her hoof soothingly through her daughter's once luxuriously groomed and conditioned porcupine mane, the most important thing to a girl her age, which had become a hideously dry, brittle ratsnest.

"It's a shame," Chrysalis remarked silkily. "You've always had such beautiful hair."

She could hear her mumble into the dirt, "Why do you hate me?"

"I don't hate you," she sighed with tedium as she gave a gentle scritch behind the ear. "Mommy loves all her babies. She just doesn't enjoy putting up with your constant, insipid drama, that's all."

Magicking up a scarab-shaped brush in mid-air, Chrysalis attempted to bring it down through Imago's tangled nightmare of a mane, but the nymph still had a flicker of defiance left in her belly. She scrambled to her hooves and frantically tried to make as much distance between them as possible, only to be yanked back to her mother's hooves by the magical harness still buckled around her carapace.

"Imago, stop this nonsense!" Chrysalis demanded.

"Never!" barked Imago, making a second futile run for it.

"You're making yourself look like a little jackass."

"Shut up!"

Chrysalis, her patience run out, pounded her hoof into the ground. "Get your rump over here, now!"

"Won't--whaa?!"

Just as the exhausted nymph was about to make her third and likely final dash for freedom, she found herself square on her rump, sitting upright with her backshell facing her mother's looming figure. Imago squinched her eyes shut and braced herself for the inevitable strike.

Except it never came. She felt instead the smooth stroke of a brush through her hair. It surprised her at first, and she winced at the first knots becoming undone, but it was soon replaced by a soothing tingle that ran down from her scalp to the rest of her body.

Her neglected mane must have been silently screaming out with joy.

"Better," Chrysalis said, her eyes not breaking from her work. "Now you are going to sit here and tell me what you hoped to accomplish by running off the way you did."

Imago tucked her knees up to her muzzle, like she was trying to imitate a pill bug.

"I...I dunno," she mumbled.

"Of course not!" She made a point by aggressively working out a particularly tight knot. "You didn't think at all, did you? You never do. Because you're a reckless, stupid, impulsive crybaby!"

When she got not so much as a sniffle of a retort, Chrysalis held the brush to her side and craned down to catch a glimpse of her muzzle.

"What exactly were you planning to do? Were you going to march up to Avalon and take the throne back from Thorax yourself?! Oh, that's right, that's right, you were going to make a hive all on your own, weren't you? The ‘Queen of Nothing', am I right?"

Imago's voiced rose from behind her knees, "I just wanted..."

"Wanted what, Imago?" she scoffed. "Tell me, I'm dying to know!"

"I want to be like you!"

"...huh?"

The world fell silent. Even the tumbleweed in the distance ceased its rolling for no feasible reason other than shock. Chrysalis stared down at her firstborn as if she'd sprouted a second head, until she snapped out of it, magically spinning her around ninety-degrees and lifting her head upward to meet her eye.

Imago's pitiful little face was caked in mud from her unending stream of tears and mucus mixing with the dirt. A non-verbal spell courtesy of Chrysalis cleaned her up good and proper.

Once she was satisfied her daughter now looked like she'd been brought up, not dragged up, she felt sufficiently less repulsed to ask, "Okay, I'll bite: what in Tartarus are you talking about?"

"Mother, I..." It was impossible for the shame-faced Imago to hide the slight quaver in her voice. "You're the smartest, the trickiest, the most powerful changeling in the whole world. All the ponies in Equestria are terrified just hearing your name." She couldn't stand to face her further, her scratched hooficure providing a more welcome view. "Back when Cerci was tutoring us, she told us all about the great things you've done: you've destroyed cities and entire kingdoms in a single day. You even made Princess Celestia your bitch--ow!"

"Mouth, young lady!"

She clutched her burning cheek where her mother promptly smacked her one."It's just...I know I don't show it a lot of the time, but I've actually always thought you were really cool. That when I became Queen one day, I could be as as evil as you..."

Was this kid for real? That was the thought on loop in Chrysalis' mind while she stood there cockeyed through Imago's drivel. All the years of backchat, the brazen disrespect to her face and, oh, the temper tantrums! A lot of it taking place in front of the entire swarm. Now she was coming out with this idolizing claptrap? It couldn't possibly be real...right?

Any other mare would've been lost for words, but she stood up, holding out her hoof to make Imago button her lip, and spoke evenly,

"Pretty words, Imago, but I don't recall any such respect from you in the past."

"B-Because you're always shooting me down!" Imago snapped with her signature stomp. "W-Whatever I say or do, you're always treating me like a big joke! You never trust me to do things on my own. Never give me a chance to prove myself--"

"Because you're not ready, Imago," Chrysalis reprimanded her. "You're too young, too weak. I mean, you're like, what, six?"

"I'm eleven!"

"Whatever. The point is you're nowhere near mature enough to take on the responsibilities of a Queen. Take a good look around, Imago," She gestured her foreleg across the vast, depleted wasteland surrounding them for miles to make her point. "We are standing in the middle of the world's deadliest desert, surrounded by bull worms, giant scorpions and demon wasps. All because you went and threw your million temper tantrum. I am saying this factually, not judgmentally: you are Not. Ready."

Those harsh words, calm in their delivery, still cut into Imago like a knife. She knew her mother spoke the truth, however inconvenient it was for her fragile little ego, but it was still painful. Fresh tears welled up along the rims of her eyes. She curled up once more into a ball as Chrysalis began to circle around and continued scolding her, her ghoulish shadow creating an intimidating vulture impression.

"You do this all the time: you get upset, you don't think, you end up doing stupid things and it's always me who has to bail you out of trouble." She stopped with her back faced to her, gazing intently at the setting sun. Nightfall "You're just like..." A sigh and shake of her head. "You're just like me, when I was your age."

Imago's head popped back up, eyes wide, mouth agape at what she'd just heard.

The ex-Queen took a deep breath in through her nostrils, then let it out through her mouth, readying herself for what she had to say next. Turning around, she marched up to her daughter until only a couple of feet separated them, got down on her knees and placed one hoof under the nymph's chin.

"Imago, I am never going to repeat this again, so listen close," she began, giving her the most serious look in the latter's young life. Her tone was authoritative, but at the time time, filled with genuine motherly assurance. "I know I can be tough with you. Maybe there are times I could've treated with you with a little more grace than I did, but it's not that I think you're a "big joke", alright? If anything, out of all my children, you, and I'm not kidding here...are the only one who I deem worthy of being my heir."

"R-Really?" Imago sniffled.

"You're competing against an oversized baby and a pony-eating tub of goo, let's not let that head of yours get too big," Chrysalis replied dryly before moving her hoof up and flicking away the last of her tears. "But yes, I see the potential in you. I see the same wickedness in your soul that I have." She then toyed with her mane, which prompted her to pull her in closer and magically picking back up the brush to finish primping her. "You even have the same conniving mind that makes moi so powerful. It just needs to be nurtured correctly."

"You really think I'm conniving?"

There was just something about the glee in which Imago said that that brought an irresistible smile to Chrysalis' muzzle.

"Your problem is that you're impatient; you suffer from the same youthful arrogance I did. If you're going to lead one day, you need a heart of stone. Believe me, you'll have a lot worse to deal with than ‘mommy being mean'."

A light came on in Imago's head, enough to elicit an small gasp from her. She pulled herself away from her mother's barrel and gazed up at her in awe.

"So...when you're being tough on me, you're doing it because you want me to get better?" she asked hopefully, slowly grinning ear-to-ear like she was seeing the situation clearly for the first time. "You wanna get me to live up to my full potential!"

‘Nope, you just have an unbelievable talent for pissing me off.'

How tempted Chrysalis was to say that and totally dash her hopes, if only for the heck of it, except a new, enticing thought of her own shone in her eyes. Her proud smile transformed into a full-blown Cheshire cat grin.

"Yesss, Imago. Exactly. What a clever little beast you are!" she beamed, lifting her off her hooves by tenderly cupping her muzzle. "It's up to me as your mother to train you, to teach you everything I know so that one day, when you're big and strong...you will be a Queen. But in order for that to work, I need your obedience, for you to be willing to listen to what I say and do as I instruct. Do you truly think you're capable of that?"

For the long underestimated Imago, these were the words she'd been waiting her whole life. Her quivering smile stretched ear-to-ear. She threw herself back into Mother's barrel and wrapped her little forelegs as wide around her as they could manage.

"That's all I've ever wanted, Mother. I'd do anything to learn how to be a true Queen."

Such a saccharine display of affection was a bit much even for a love-starved monster as Chrysalis, but she managed to played along with it and give her a gentle pat on the head.

Still, even in the midst of euphoria, Imago felt apprehensively inclined to point out the obvious, "But...we don't even have a hive anymore--hey!"  Without warning, she was tossed up in the air and caught in the elder changeling's forelegs, being cradled as if she were a grub again.

"That's why we are going to take our home back, but if we have any hope of doing that, we need to stand united together," Chrysalis told her, adding firmly, "All of us. A solitary gnat does not make a swarm, Imago." She used her magic to tug her by the ear. "Do you understand what I've told you?"

"Yes, Mother," Imago winced, bowing her head like an obedient dog.

"Excellent. Now, before we both fly home, isn't there something you want to say?"

The magic which tugged her ear glowed greater in strength, painfully hauling her out of her mother's embrace into mid-air.

"Ow! Owowow! What're you doing?! That hurts--OW!" She whined, only for the grip on her ear to twist. "I, uh, I'm sorry?!"

Chrysalis inspected her hoof nonchalantly, asking with as much disinterest, "Sorry for what, dear? Be specific now."

"Okay, okay! I--I'm sorry I ran away and I'll be a good nymph from now on! I'll never disobey you again, I promise!"

"Such a good girl. Okay, apology accepted." Her magic eased off somewhat at her word and lowered Imago back into the comfort of her foreleg. Baring her wet pearly daggers, Chrysalis craned her neck, aiming straight for the still entrapped ear. "Still, I can't not discipline you for your behavior. What kind of mother would I be otherwise if I didn't?"

"Mother...?" Panic quickly set in for Imago when her mother's intentions became obvious. She tried to slip out from her grasp and escape, but realized too late her legs were magically bound. "NO! W-W-What're you gonna--?"  "Don't fidget now, darling," she cooed in some superficial attempt at being maternal. Her teeth came dangerously close to the tip of her ear. Just the tip. "It'll only hurt for a moment..."

Session 42.11 Ardashir

(OOC: Been watching Fiend Without A Face, which along with the ever crazier Brain from Planet Arous seems to have been the original inspiration for the Intellect Devourers from AD&D. Makes me wonder if the ponies could come up with something so grisly.)

"Okay, so you see these cat-sized creatures approaching you..."

"Oh, I love kitties!" Pinkie Pie bounced up and down as she spoke. "I pick one up and start petting it."

"Uh, Pinkie," Twilight showed her and the others a picture of what looked like a cat-size pony brain with four viciously clawed legs. "That's what the 'kitties' look like. And they're saying, 'Ah ha! More ponies for us to possess! More bodies to wear as our own! Mwa-hahaha!'"

Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rarity all recoiled. Pinkie just laughed.

"I pet him and scritch him and tell him I'll call him Cerebellum!"

Twilight rolled her eyes. "You just sacrificed initiative, Pinkie. And you're probably about to sacrifice your entire brain as well."

"Aw, this is just plain silly," Applejack pointed at the picture. "How are ponies ever supposed ta even pretend ta believe in something thet crazy-lookin'?"

"Pretend to believe in what now?" Discord slithered through a crack in the wall and looked at the book. "Ah, intellect devourers! Been years since I've seen any."

The ponies just collectively rolled their eyes.

Discord's eyes hardened. "Oh, so I must be pulling your legs?"

"No!" Twilight realized too late what they'd done. "We believe you --"

"Ah sure don't!" Applejack sniffed.

"Really?" Discord snapped his claws. Light flashed and half a dozen claw-legged cat-size brains appeared before the ponies. Discord folded his arms across his chest. "Handle it yourselves!"

Six ponies shrieked as six intellect devourers leaped onto their faces.

***

"Well, that was anticlimactic," Rarity said as she gently lowered the feebly twitching intellect devourer into a blanket-lined box Fluttershy had found. It shivered beside the ones that had attacked Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy. "Whatever happened to the poor things?"

"I always knew pony thoughts were too sugary to be real," Discord laughed overhead. "Your brains sent them into shock!"

"Aw, that can't be true..." Dash looked at Pinkie Pie, hopping by with an intellect devourer on her back. It was shivering in horror. Twilight followed behind, bandaging Pinkie Pie's head.

"Tee-hee! I felt him nibble on my forebrain!" Pinkie cuddled the little horror. It shuddered and tried to slither away.

"Then again, maybe it is." Dash shrugged.

Applejack walked over. Her intellect devourer lay lifeless, dead of hunger. She glared at the snickering Discord.

"Y'all think yer funny, but yer not!"

Session 42.12 Kendell2

"How did we end up in this situation again?" Twilight asked, in a small, lavender motorized kart with her cutie mark at the front as the group raced a long a winding, strange course through a brightly colored landscape. close inspection would reveal it was made of pixels.

"Button Mash called in another of his wishes from Discord from when he got him out of his restraining order!" Rainbow Dash called back, racing forwards on her kart. "The CMC wanted us to join in!"

"How many of those does he have left?!" the Alicorn asked, turning around the corner.

"Don't know! But kid's having fun with them!" the cyan Pegasus called, driving through a rainbow colored box with a question mark and getting a banana peel. "Heads up!"

Twilight's eyes went wide as the banana peel landed and sent her spinning out with a shout of surprise.

Rainbow Dash snickered...only to promptly have the same thing happen to her courtesy of Applejack.

"Yah ain't the only pony who knows what the power ups do!" Applejack snickered back.

Discord laughed, firmly in the lead. "Oh I love this game! So much chaos!" he exclaimed...only for a winged blue shell to fly out of nowhere and make a beline right for him. "Oh horseapples!"

As he was sent spinning out by it, Button Mash took the lead with the Crusaders and Diamond Tiara close behind. Diamond got another power up, a Mushroom, which sped her up enough to pull ahead and take the win with Button just barely second.

Session 42.13 SomeRandomMinion

"Sorry, but you boys have a flight to catch!" With that, another screaming group of toy-sized ponies and gryphon bandits were caught in a whirlwind and sent flying. Rainbow Dash, in the form of her Sky Giant character, chortled as they vanished over the horizon. "Happy landings!" She waved a gauntleted hoof. "Heh, so how are you girls liking this Enchanted Comic? Makes me wanna start up that giants module again. Can't wait till we get Trixie in on it."

Rarity chuckled from atop her castle-sized mound of snow, her horn aglow as she arranged a menagerie of frozen tiny forms at her hooves into neat rows. "We're a bit overpowered, even for Giants, but I won't say this isn't fun. Oh, and try to be cautious where you throw your storms, Rainbow. It took me a while to freeze this many of the brutes...hmph, that should teach them to insult my lovely white coat!"

"Well, this edition of the Giants manega was a gift from Queen Supia," Twilight put in. Her Cyclops-form's single eye was more on the terrified, pleading Diamond Dog slave drivers she was using her magic to juggle than anything else. "She still felt bad about what she and the other Giants did in the Crystal Empire, so she commissioned some special issues as an apology. This one even has our characters! Still don't know how how Shiny and Cadence's issue is special..."

WHAM! The stomp was literally earth-shaking, enough to make everypony flinch. Rarity had to scramble to keep her frozen diorama from falling over, and a few trees even tumbled over. Everyone looked up to see Applejack, in her Battlerager form, smirking amidst the ruins of what had....probably...once been a well-defended bandit town. At least before she'd leveled it.

"Nothin' like a little pest control, Ah say." Applejack quipped, admiring her work. "And Twi? Tell Supia Ah said thanks. She thought of everythin'!" She held up a hoof, shaking off some flattened outlaws....revealing a snowshoe. "No slippin' on ice fer me. Not gonna be sittin' on any bad guys either!"

"Wanna bet, AJ?" Rainbow challenged from above as everpony laughed.

((OOC: My computer is still kaput, but I felt compelled to write SOMETHING. I had the idea of a Giants enchanted comic, so enjoy this little one-shot!))

Session 42.14 Alex Warlorn

= Attack on Titan OP - "Guren no Yumiya" =

"Cutie Mark Crusader Ranger Corp!" The four giants heard in surprise.

"It can't be." Rainbow Dash blinked.

"YEOW!" AJ stood up in shock, feeling like she'd just been stabbed by a needle. She turned to see Apple Bloom. She was dressed in a brown, with a pair of swords with a sheath of several on her sides, along with a gas powered grappling spear and cord system.

"Wha-Apple Bloom! What are ya doin'- OW!" Apple Bloom pulled out the first spear and fired along, this one hitting Applejack's side, spinning around her like a speedy litle wasp.

"Wow! This Attack On Giants manega enchanted comic is cool! Why does Dash never let me read these?!" Scootaloo said, not having the spear and cable, but also had the collection of swords and also began to zip around Rainbow Dash, giving her countless little paper one another another.

"OW! OW! Scootaloo!"

"The manega must have left itself open!" Twilight cried.

"FORWARD!"

"OW!" Rarity cried as she also felt herself stabbed in the behind, and looked down to see Sweetie dressed like the others, using her telekinesis to holds several of her swords at once. "I really like this one's mane! Helps me climb up easy!"

"Sweetie Belle! You stop-OW!" Sweetie began climbing up Rarity's mane faster than a spider, and then, "CRITICAL ATTACK!"

"Sweetie! Button Mash has been a bad influence, you do NOT call out-" Rarity fell over on her beautiful frozen garden with a crash, twitching, and helpless, where Sweetie had stabbed her RIGHT in a little place on the back of her neck.

"YEAH!!!" Scootaloo came down on Rainbow Dash, stabbing her in the back of the neck, making the giant crash to the ground with enough force to cause a mushroom cloud.

Applejack kept trying to catch Apple Bloom, but her '3-D movement gear' made it like trying to catch a fly. There was also that the giants had no experience with opponents like this, and being caught off guard at it being their LITTLE SISTERS they were fight, who apparently didn't recognize them, or thought they were expies of their sisters.

Soon...Twilight suddenly found herself alone.

Twilight felt somepony stabbed her in the butt, then in the back, then in one ear...

"VICTORY!" Button Mash said as he came up from behind, and landed right on Twilight's nose, and charged right at Twilight's big single eye.

'This is gonna hurt.' Twilight thought.

Session 42.15 SomeRandomMinion

Later, and now Outside of the enchanted manega, the foals were finishing up some awkward apologies to the four mares.

"Ah guess we shoulda known somethin' was up when ya didn't look like the Giants we were expectin'," Applebloom mumbled. "What with havin' fur and skin and all..."

"Or how you were WEARING gear, and carrying weapons," Sweetie Belle admitted.

"And NOT eating people..." Scootaloo confessed.

Applejack smiled and tussled Applebloom's mane. "It's fine, girls. Guess it serves us right fer just bummin' around the first chapter, playin' with the weakest enemies." She smirked. "Yer lucky Ah didn't sit on ya, Applebloom, you'd have been pancaked right quick!"

"You were pretty quick yourself, squirt," Rainbow added, winking in approval at Scootaloo.

As grudging congratulations were passed around, Button Mash and Twilight examined the enchanted manega. "No, this is definitely based on Shining's game," Twilight concluded. "'March of the Giants'; right there in the title."

"And nothing about a crossover..." Button mused, flipping through the pages. "So how did the girls and me get that gear? Did Miss Supia put that in as a secret or something? Maybe show that 'tinies' could be cool too?"

"That makes sense, I've heard she gets annoyed when her fellow Giants get too arrogant." Twilight blinked and looked at the back cover. "Huh...the next issue is all about attacking a dock...says that the turtle ships must be destroyed, and eating the Diamond Dog Admiral WON'T make a giant character evil....weird. Why would Supia put THAT in this comic?"

Session 42.16 Mtangalion

The CrystalCon auditorium lights came up, and a gray-skinned man with wild hair and a goatee jogged onto the stage, wearing a plaid coat, gaudy striped pants, and shoes with mismatched socks. "Good morning! I'd like to say what an honor it is to meet *me*, Discord, lead developer for World of Horsecraft!"

Princess Twilight laughed nervously and sank lower in her seat.

"There's something not quite right about that fellah," mused Applejack.

"I don't know," said Fluttershy. "He seems like he could be nice, if we got to know him."

Discord steepled his fingers. "Now, you'd probably like to hear all about the fun you'll be having in the Frozen North. Either that, or I went to the wrong convention again."

Pinkie Pie stood up, wearing a horned helmet somehow. "Fus Ro DAAAAHHH!"

"No, not that Frozen North," said Discord without missing a beat. He waved his hands dramatically. "In the north of Equestria, beyond Stalliongrad, the great glacier has been shattered! You know, the one that kept everypony out of those dangerous and forbidden lands, even the ones that can fly." He pointed in a seemingly random direction. "Except for you, you, you, you, and YOU." He grinned disturbingly.

At Indigo Zap's house, where they'd gathered to watch the live stream of the convention, most of the Shadowbolts started choking on their popcorn. "I told you we'd get caught," said Sugarcoat, after she chewed and swallowed calmly.

Discord tugged on his lapels. "And your little dog too. Oh yes, I have your accounts flagged for some special fun later! Now then, behold some of the fierce denizens of the Crystal Empire!"

He stepped to one side, and the big screen lit up, showing what looked like an ordinary earth pony mare. Her mane and eyes were oddly shiny, but she wore tattered rags. "Crystal pony slave," said the caption. A shiny stallion appeared beside her, wearing a hat and carrying a pickaxe in his mouth, looking even more downtrodden. This one was a "Crystal pony miner."

Discord looked at the screen in seeming disbelief, while the audience murmured. "Well, that's not very scary at all! Perhaps you'd rather fight these guys!" He clicked his remote, and this time there were some gasps when the screen displayed a giant shadow-beast shaped like a pony with dragon claws and horns, an "Umbrum soldier." An "Umbrum assassin" appeared next to it, a shadow shaped like a giant twisted preying mantis. "And don't forget about Equestria's other sneaky new frenemies!" A "Changeling scout" appeared, just like the ones in the trailer, followed by a massive "Changeling guardian."

"Oh my!" said Discord with mock alarm. "I certainly wouldn't want to meet them in a dark alley." The next slide showed...a dark alley, with all those creatures beat up and lying in a heap, while three adventurers, a pegasus colt, a griffon, and a zebra grinned, counting their loot. "But you might, you lovable sociopaths, you!" The audience chuckled.

Discord coughed. "Needless to say, there's a lot more where those came from! Before you take them on, you're going to want some new allies!" He walked offstage to considerable applause, and the lights dimmed.

A second video began, swooping past a broken glacier wall and into a vast snowy plain. "New region: The Frozen North" read a caption. The perspective switched between quick clips of towering mountains, a frozen forest, and a snarling Ursa Major with two Ursa Minor cubs...before panning down to a sheltered valley with green amidst the snowmelt, packed with strange wood and straw houses and..."New player race: Yaks - Starting zone: Yakyakistan - New class: Berserker"

While the audience cheered again, and clips played of yaks charging, headbutting, and feasting in torch-lit halls...a small but loud group in the audience started chanting "Yaks! Yaks! Yaks! Yaks!!"

"I don't get it," said Rarity.

A yak seated on a throne raised a hoof. "North Lands are no longer perfect because of dumb bug ponies and shadow ponies. Yaks will SMASH!"

Then the wild heroic music turned ominous, and the view dissolved to a pony caravan struggling through a snowy mountain pass. The tension built, until several of the guards nodded to each other and flashed with green fire, becoming hissing changeling marauders!

While the merchants screamed and galloped in all directions, then five remaining pony guards grinned, baring their...fangs? One of them threw a smoke bomb, and vicious wolves wearing jeweled collars charged out of the smoke on all fours, pouncing and snapping their jaws at the suddenly terrified changelings. "New player race: Diamond Wolves"

"Diamond...Wolves?" stammered Rainbow, who was sure she'd had it all figured out. Gilda clapped her on the back, laughing.

Princess Twilight rolled her eyes and smiled. "Of course."

And somewhere in the audience, a certain girl in a wolf costume started shouting, "Yes, yes, yes!" She even jumped in the air and howled, before she realized what she was doing and sat back down, costume paws hiding her muzzle.

The video switched to wolves trotting through ice caverns, tending strange mushroom crops, practicing spells, training to fight, and...playing pranks on each other. "Starting location: Icehome. New class: Infiltrator." A large male Diamond Wold grinned, looking over a table full of stone miniatures. "You merely dabble in the Wolf Game. We were born and raised in it!"

The video finished up with a shot of a crystal city beneath a dome of red and black swirling magic. The view zoomed into the palace, showing captioned closeups of "Queen Chrysalis" and "Tarnished Armor" ...and between them, the shape of a dark armored pony frozen solid in crystal. Eyes opened, burning red and green...and the frame blacked out, showing an animated "World of Horsecraft: Wrath of the Crystal King" logo.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 42.0 Brutality
Session 42.1 MagicMan001
Session 42.2 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 42.3 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 42.4 Ardashir
Session 42.5 Alex Warlorn
Session 42.6 Kendell2
Session 42.7 Mtangalion
Session 42.8 Kendell2
Session 42.9 Ardashir
Session 42.10 Magicman001
Session 42.11 Ardashir
Session 42.12 Kendell2
Session 42.13 SomeRandomMinion
Session 42.14 Alex Warlorn
Session 42.15 SomeRandomMinion
Session 42.16 Mtangalion

Cover image by xXAngeLuciferXx http://xxangeluciferxx.deviantart.com/art/Letter-4-Page-1-602966755

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Session 43

Session 43.0 Alex Warlorn and Mtangalion

As chief programmer Discord said all this to the audience of Crystal Con to see the next expansion of World of Horsecraft, none were expecting the diamond digger trio from Canterlot High to burst in roaring.

"YOU STEAL DESIGN! WE SUBMIT DIAMOND DOGS TO COMPANY! YOU CHANGE THEM TO DIAMOND WOLVES! THIEF!"

From her stand point, vice company president Chrysalis made a slight motion with her head and security drags the three teenage boys off in an instant.

Later, at one of the technical Q&A panels...

The next guy in line approached the microphone and awkwardly fumbled with his note card. "Um, hello! I'm Cinnamon Jam with the Pwning Ponies guild on the Kindness server..."

"Nobody cares!" screeched Adagio, somewhere back in the crowd.

"... and my question is, why didn't you just make the Diamond Dogs playable, since they were already in the game?"

Discord stroked his goatee. "Diamond Wolves sounded cooler to the play testers? It certainly wasn't any issue of copyright or lack thereof! But seriously... you know, I've never liked that word. Where was I? Besides that, the technical team also had difficulties with adding Diamond Dogs as a playable race, with their varying body types and them being partly bipedal. We eventually settled on creating quadrupedal cousins of the Diamond Dogs who were more fierce and less comedic, and conveniently for the story, already living in the north.

Still we're quite proud of the incremental improvements we've been able to make for the new expansion! Diamond Wolves and griffons are now able to have more animations with independently posable talons and toes, unlike the original models, which had the same number of animation control points for a pony hoof or a griffon paw. Yes, griffons can now flip you the bird. Thank you, thank you! I'll be here all weekend."

-

Discord, spirit of chaos, watched this on his washing machine.

"Heh, they end up making Diamond Wolves, for logical, pragmatic human world reasons, and wound up closely resembling Equestrian Diamond Wolves anyway somehow. Heh, makes you wonder which one is 'real' and which one is the copycat!"

Session 43.1 Mooncalf99 (WELCOME BACK!)

"...So if the group enters from the western wall windows, we go with having archers placed here and here," Twilight explained, pointing out the locations on her map. "If they force their way in through the northern gate, have dreadnought knights in a line and back them up with battlemages. And if they try an airborne entry, have a flight of wyverns in the observatory tower who will intercept."

"Air fights are pretty cool," Spike agreed. "Okay, I think we've covered everything. But, hey. What if they don't find the red quill at the ransacked office and try to go somewhere else?"

Twilight thought for a moment, before shrugging. "Eh, wing it. It's okay to improvise. The only thing we must never do is--"

"Freaking flying feathering stratocumuli!"

Twilight's head snapped up from the map and she stared at Spike, but he looked just as baffled as she felt. "Did… somepony swear a lot?"

"It came from downstairs," Spike said. "Sounded like Rainbow Dash…"

Curiosity piqued, the duo headed for the stairs. Sure enough, Rainbow Dash was in the Cutie Map room… glaring at Trixie, who was grinning back at her with her usual infuriatingly smug and superior mien. A set of four cards lay on the table between them. Also seated at the table were Applejack and Starlight, the latter of whom were taking notes on a piece of parchment.

"What's going on here?" Twilight asked.

"Oh, hey, Twilight," Starlight said. "Trixie's demonstrating a game she learned."

"Cheating, that's what she's doing," Rainbow muttered.

"Trixie is doing nothing of the sort!" Trixie replied, doing her best to look exceedingly hurt by the accusation. "Rainbow Dash is just prone to losing, is all."

"Like you don't cheat anytime you can," Spike retorted.

Trixie snorted in annoyance. "Only when there's a challenge to it. Or when it's interesting. Or when I have to teach a lesson to an inattentive student." She raised an eyebrow, and Spike shrank back in guilt. "But right now? Not necessary. And I've said I won't try anything, so I won't. Applejack can vouch for me."

"'S true," Applejack said. "We got an arrangement, remember?"

"Okay…" Twilight said, deciding to drop the subject. She wasn't sure how Applejack had worked out that arrangement, but she trusted her friend. "Okay, I'll bite. What's the game?"

"Trixie is glad you asked!" Trixie grinned at Rainbow Dash. "Another go?"

"Bring it," Rainbow seethed.

"Right. So. Four cards. Aces of Sun, Moon, Love, and Friendship." Trixie held up the cards to show their faces. She then placed them face down and shuffled them. "Two black, two red. Player draws two at random, and if the color match, they win!"

Rainbow Dash snatched up two of the cards… showing Sun and Love. "Argh!"

"Another loss," Starlight lamented, making a mark on her parchment.

"And you've lost every time?" Twilight asked.

"No, just… most of the time," Rainbow admitted. "But way more often than what's fair!"

"Okay?" Twilight said.

"I'm not stupid, you know," the young athlete said defensively. "It's basic math. Either you get red and red, or black and black, or red and black, or black and red. Right? So you got fifty-fifty. But I lose way more often than that!"

"Really? How many games have you played?" Spike asked.

"Eighty-three times," Starlight said wearily. "Can we do something else? This is getting boring."

"Not until Trixie stops cheating!" Rainbow said angrily.

"I told you--" Trixie began.

"Actually, I think I have it figured out," Twilight interrupted. "Do you mind?"

"This should be good," Trixie mused, shuffling the cards and presenting them. "Go on - show Trixie what you've got."

"I don't think I need to actually play, but fine." Twilight picked up one card, showing the Ace of Friendship. "Oh, look, it's my card. But the first draw doesn't really matter, does it?"

"Eh? What do you mean, Twilight?" Spike asked. "Of course it matters. You only get to do two things here, after all."

"Yes, but does it really matter if I win on red or black? All the first draw does is decide which color the next draw needs to be in order to score a win." Twilight drew the second card. "Moon, I lose. As expected."

"You said you had it figured out," Rainbow said.

"Yes, well, I didn't say I could guarantee a victory," Twilight said with a knowing smile at Trixie. "Another round, please."

"Of course," Trixie said, shuffling the cards again. "It's always fun to watch that big brain of yours in action."

"I thought magicians didn't like when the audience tried to figure out how their tricks work?" Twilight observed.

"Not unless the trick is set up to be worked out," Trixie replied. "Now pick a card. Which you think is meaningless, apparently?"

"No, not the card - just the color." Twilight turned over the Ace of Sun. "It just defines the rest of the game."

"Setting the stage, so to speak?" Starlight suggested.

"Ooh, Trixie likes that simile," Trixie cooed. "So what will you draw next, oh great and brainy Twilight?"

"I'll draw… one of these three," Twilight said, picking up the remaining cards in her magic, but refraining from turning them over. "And that's the real challenge here. I have to pick the card that matches the one I drew first. Buuuut…"

Silence descended before an exasperated Rainbow Dash spat out, "But what?!"

"Well… what do I have to choose from, really?" Twilight said. She turned over all three cards. "I drew a black card, so there's only one other black card to pick from. But there's two red ones." She returned the Sun to the cards and took away Love. "And if I had drawn a red card to begin with, there'd be only one red left, but two black ones. Either way, that's less than fifty-fifty. More like, oh…"

"Thirty-three sixty-six and fractions," Applejack helpfully interjected.

"Wait… what the…" Rainbow mumbled. "You're saying…"

"Trixie isn't cheating you," Twilight explained. "It's just the game that's inherently unfair."

Rainbow's face hit the table. "Seriously?!"

"Applause is in order!" Trixie said, clopping her hooves earnestly. Starlight joined in. "Splendid deduction, really. I expected you to look at Starlight's statistics first, but you worked it out all on your own."

"Thirty-two victories, fifty-one losses," Starlight added, showing her parchment. "That's actually a bit better than average."

"Still within acceptable deviation from tha norm," Applejack said. "After that, it was jus' fillin' in the blanks."

"Wait." Rainbow raised her head and stared at the farmer pony. "You knew?"

"Uh…" Applejack began.

"You figured it out already and didn't tell me?!" Rainbow Dash stood up, putting her forehooves on the table. "Freaking seriously?!"

"Hey, Trixie and Starlight didn't tell you either!" Applejack protested.

"Trixie was the one challenging me! And Starlight was obviously in cahoots with her! But you?" Rainbow swallowed hard. "Eighty rounds of that stupid game! And you didn't tell me?!"

"Well, yeah…" Applejack glanced at the door. "Oh, hey, I think Granny's callin' fer me. Got a lot o' fieldwork ta do. Gotta go, bye!" And with that, she took off.

"Oh, we are not done yet!" Rainbow Dash flew after her. "YOU COME BACK HERE, YOU--"

The remaining three ponies and dragon looked at each other. "Yeesh. Sore loser much?" Starlight said.

"Well, Trixie's bored now," Trixie muttered. "Who's up for poker?"

"No gambling for Spike until he's old enough," Twilight said. "But I could use some help stress-testing a few encounters for balance, if you're up for it. All the cheese and trickery you can come up with…"

Session 43.2 Mtangalion

Back in the Friendship Castle's "Interdimensional Gaming Room," one of the computers chimed and opened a video chat window, displacing the live stream coverage of CrystalCon. "Hey there, girls," said the human version of Princess Twilight. Her image was distorted by the cell phone camera, low lighting in the convention hall, and artifacts from broadcasting the stream through the magical portal into Equestria.

Rainbow Dash covered her mouth with a hoof, trying not to snicker.

Beside her, Starlight Glimmer sighed. "Really, Dash? Can't you just accept humans for what they are? You wouldn't laugh at a minotaur for looking like a minotaur, or a breezie for looking like..."

Dash shrugged her wings. "Hey, can I help it if humans look totally ridiculous?"

Princess Twilight smirked. "Oh, they do, do they?" The video jumped around as she passed the cell phone to someone else.

"Hey there, ponies!" The video righted itself, now showing the face of the human Rainbow Dash... and now she was the one struggling to hold her laughter in. "Omigosh! I forgot how... heehee... cute the pony version of me was! Bwaha!"

Rainbow Dash leapt to her hooves, feathers bristling. "Hey! I am not cute!"

Princess Twilight took the cell phone back. "We're getting off topic. Starlight, is Trixie around? They were just showing us some concept sketches at the Art and Design panel, and... as strange as this is going to sound, I need Trixie's advice. Hang on, I'll 'e-mail' the picture to you. Now how did this work again..."

While Twilight fiddled with the phone, Starlight was shaking her head. "It still seems unfair. Why should we ... and a bunch of yaks... have exclusive access to these devices? Computers could benefit everyone in Equestria and beyond. For that matter, what right do we have, borrowing all of this technology from the human world without providing them magical knowledge in a fair and equal exchange?"

Meanwhile, Trixie had put her game on a different PC on pause and trotted over. "If you have any new ideas for purchasing thousands of human computers and smuggling them over here, or opening diplomatic relations with the human governments without starting a war, I'm certain that Twilight would be happy to hear them." She nosed her friend. "Making things fair takes time, sometimes."

Starlight pouted. "But..."

"Besides, Trixie hasn't seen you lamenting that not every unicorn in the land can control minds, teleport, and fly without wings." She wrapped herself in a magical glow and floated off the crystal floor, looking smug.

"Hmph!" Starlight used her own magic to nudge a thick book off a table behind Trixie, and the distraction of it smacking the floor popped Trixie's flight field like a soap bubble. "You're still nowhere near ready to fly like I do." She smiled. "And yes, I suppose I see your point."

"Finally!" said Twilight's voice, as the computer chimed again. Starlight worked the mouse with her magic, double-clicking on an email attachment to open a picture of... some kind of bear, with a black body, white face and belly, and large black markings around the eyes, which made it look oddly cute for a bear. There was a sketch of a pony, too, for reference... the peculiar bear was larger than a stallion, but not as large as, say, Fluttershy's pet Harry. "Trixie, is that what I think it is?"

"That really takes me back," mused Trixie. "Yes, that's a panda."

Rainbow stared at the screen. "That's a real animal? Like, in Equestria? I bet Fluttershy would love to have one of those for a pet."

Trixie grimaced. "They aren't animals, Dash. Trixie met a traveling panda in Chineigh, once. They like brewing and cooking, they're never in a hurry, and most of them live on the back of a giant turtle who swims in the South Chineigh Sea, where only pandas are permitted to go."

Dash looked at her expectantly.

"No, there's no punchline," said the showmare. "Some things, even Trixie cannot make up. I always wished I could have found out more about that game we played. It had tiles like Mahjong, but with different symbols, and the objective was for both players to cooperate and win the game together." She blinked. "Twilight, are you thinking what I'm thinking? Pandas are appearing in World of Horsecraft, therefore we will encounter them here?"

Twilight fuzzy image grinned. "I already know that we're going to meet them. They've sent an ambassador, but... he's traveling by hot air balloon from the other side of the world, so it could take months. Or years. Like you said, never in a hurry."

Session 43.3 Mtangalion

Starlight Glimmer shuffled her way down the halls of Twilight's Friendship Castle, wearing a bathrobe, levitating a cup of coffee, and yawning profusely. She passed by the Map Room, glancing inside briefly, then moved on.

A spit-take was heard, and she came rushing right back again. The Cutie Map was active, with two cutie marks spiraling... "Where? When?"

Spike yelped, hopping in place and hiding his claws behind his back. He'd been standing on the other end of the map. "Starlight! Uh, good morning!"

Starlight blinked. "Were you playing Dragonzilla in Manehatten just now?"

"No!" Spike gave the miniature crystal skyscrapers around him a shifty glance. "Er, maybe? Just a little?"

Starlight smiled. "I suppose it's good that you're not still wracked with crippling guilt over... that whole thing." She leaned closer to the map, furrowing her brow. "So, Applejack and... one of the Crusaders? I honestly haven't paid enough attention to know which of their marks is which."

Spike grinned hugely. "What, you're not afraid that Twilight will give you a *pop quiz*?" When Starlight showed signs of actual panic, he quickly added, "It's Apple Bloom's. They already left an hour ago."

"But... How is there a friendship emergency at Sweet Apple Acres?"

"Beats me!" Spike shrugged. "Heh, you should have seen Applejack. 'Sweet Apple Acres! Ah was just *there*. This had better not be about Big Mac and that dang doll.'"

Starlight had started pacing. "Should I call Twilight back from CrystalCon? It's probably nothing... but it might be important. But what if Twilight thinks I can't handle things like this on my own? But that's silly, I just saved Equestria from Chrysalis so she knows I can handle things on my own, but what if..."

Spike cleared his throat and thrust a checklist at her.

Starlight hesitated, and began to read it aloud. "So you're starting to freak out. Step one: Stop it. Step two: Take a deep breath. Step three: Don't try to immediately fix everything with magic. Step four... Spike, did Twilight make this for me?"

Spike chuckled. "I made that for Twilight before we met you, actually. You two are so much alike, it scares me sometimes."

Starlight took a deep breath. "Right... I'll just go check up on Applejack and Apple Blossom."

"Bloom."

"I knew that!" Starlight teleported, sending the coffee cup to the kitchen sink and leaving the bathrobe behind to crumple to the floor...

... and found herself in a barn, near Applejack and Apple Bloom and... Prince Rutherford? With three other yaks dressed as guards who were reacting to the surprise intrusion by reaching for their battleaxes!?

Apple Bloom glanced over her shoulder and grinned innocently. "Howdy there, Starlight! Me and Applejack just built a computer for the prince, and he's gonna try it out!"

The guards hesitated, then relaxed.

Starlight stared. "Wait a moment... are you saying... you used your earth pony construction skills, and that Apple math to understand what's in those books, and you actually *built a computer*?" Her awed expression almost could have lifted her off the ground without any magic. "And my dream of computers for everyone could actually be realized?"

Applejack winced. "Well, that's what Prince Rutherford asked us to do at first, but... we had to compromise. C'mere, sugarcube, have a look."

Prince Rutherford had an actual human-built laptop on the workbench, and next to it was... a 'computer' built out of wood and nails, with the face of a pointing and laughing yak painted on the 'monitor.' It looked like something foals would build for a school play.

"W-What?" Starlight's face fell, twitching.

"We'll try it out!" declared Prince Rutherford. He leveled a hoof at the real computer. "Stupid machine! Why you take so long to load Horsecraft game, and then get crashy blue screen!? Me tired of you letting other stupid players mine my ore, that I totally saw first! We could have killed raid boss if stupid machine didn't lag! Yaks furious!" He pawed at the ground, snorting steam. "Yaks destroy!" He slammed his hooves down on the fake computer, turning it to wood scraps, then sawdust, and leaving the real computer unharmed.

The big yak laughed. "Me feel better now!" Rutherford hoofbumped with Applejack, nearly bowling her over. "Yaks can smash houses and build new, smash stadium and build new, but yaks couldn't build com-pu-ter, and Flim Flam ponies want too much for buying new. You save yaks from smashing all yak computers and having none. Apple ponies are great friends of yaks forever!"

Apple Bloom and Applejack's cutie marks started doing the "mission complete" shimmer. "Woohoo" cried Apple Bloom, prancing and spinning. "Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo are gonna be so jealous!"

"Do yaks like apples?" asked AJ hesitantly. "Ya know, the eating kind?"

"I'm going back to bed," muttered Starlight.

Session 43.4 MagicMan001

"... Then he said "fine", and that's the story of how I met your grandfather."

Imago giggled weakly, "Grandpa sounds like a jerk."

"Yeah..." Blackrose sighed, her wistful gaze drifting toward the castle window. It was a gorgeous summer's day outside, not so much as a wisp of cloud in the hive skyline. The sunlight pouring into the room basked both of them in a warm glow as they lay peacefully on the sofa.

Music was in the air in Hive Avalon. A distinctly changeling tune - vibrant, bombastic, passionate. An assortment of strings and brass which was instantly recognizable to a perked-up Imago.

"It's the band..." She lifted her head from her grandmother's burnt yellow barrel and smiled up at her, excitement glistening in her eyes. "Can I go watch, Grandma? Canicanicani?"

Blackrose's heart wanted her so much to say 'yes' and take Imago straight outside to see the musicians on her withers. The little one discovered her love of music here in Avalon, birth of many of changelingkind's greatest singers and composers. Her mother sent her and later her siblings here twice a year so they could see their beloved "Grandmama" apart from the infamous 'Royal Family Reunions'.

It had to have started the day Imago witnessed the mariachi band performing at the train station where her royal carriage pulled up. It was her fourth, maybe fifth visit to Avalon. Seeing her granddaughter cheering and clap her hooves together, being genuinely happy, melted the Empress' heart.

Blackrose did everything she could to nurture her granddaughter's newfound hobby. On her fifth birthday, she gifted her with her first guitar. Not just any guitar, one that would magically change type with a turn of a dial. Of course, Chrysalis did not approve. Such pursuits were, in her own words, for "ponies and changelings who were dropped as eggs."

Sometimes Blackrose wanted to smack that mare upside the head.

"No, Maggie, Sweetie. It's nap time," she sighed, stroking the fringe of Imago's mane. Long and prickly just like it always was, like a big, adorable porcupine.

The way her hopeful smile crumbled broke Blackrose's heart.

"It's always nap time," she sniffled. "Momma never lets me go out and play either." She miserably sunk face-first back into the comfort of her hefty barrel. "It's no fair."

"Aw, baby..."

It wasn't fair. A young nymph her age should be playing outside, exploring the world every opportunity they got. To keep them cooped up like this was cruel, but for Imago, it was done only for her own welfare.

She hatched early into this world. She was such a wee thing. So frail, so fragile. At only five-years-old, wrapped up in her knitted sweater, Imago felt so light on top of her immense bulk. They had all feared she wouldn't make it to nymphhood, but Blackrose never doubted, not for one second.

That wasn't the worst part; the poor thing was also prone to sickness. Back home, she'd just got over a ghastly virus before she was sent down here. Chrysalis strictly forbade Blackrose from letting Imago outside too much in Avalon, especially during the summer when disease ran rampant. Theirs were not the cleanest or most hygienic people, after all.

Getting an idea, Blackrose smiled. She gathered Imago up in her forelegs and cradled her like a newborn. Gently rocking her back and forth, she began to lull her to sleep, singing for her her favourite,

Let's go in the garden

You'll find something waiting 
Imago, overcome with drowsiness, yawned and snuggled her grandma's tusk. She quietly joined in, with a little smile emerging on her muzzle,

Right there where you left it

Lying upside down

When you finally find it

You'll see how it's faded

The underside is lighter

When you turn it around

Everything stays

Right where you left it

Eleven-year-old Imago stopped strumming the chords on her beloved guitar for a moment, savouring the eerie ambiance of her surroundings.

Her new bedroom wasn't exactly an upgrade from her old one back in the Hive. For an ancient, moss and rat-infested ruin, she could have been cut a far worse deal. She was provided with the comforts of a soft bed and a vanity, and the remnants of the rat colony that had survived her little brother's hunger-induced genocide were given refuge here. Imago always wanted pets.

Taking a drink from the mug of squeezed beetle juice on her bedside table, she picked up her somber rendition where she left off.

Everything stays

But it still changes-- 
BANG! BANG!

"IMAGO! CUT THAT CRAP OUT!"

Imago cringed and her song came to an unceremonious halt. She heaved a defeated sigh, slowly crumbling onto her lumpy pink below, careful not to touch or agitate the bandage applied firmly over her left ear. Faint splotches of green were visible in the soft white fabric.

The pain was still fresh. A constant, pulsating ache on the side of her skull. Everytime she closed her eyes, she could feel her mother's teeth piercing the tender flesh with the effortlessness of a knife through tissue paper. Chomping, tearing, ripping...

'Oh, enough of your blubbering!' her words rang clear in her head after the deed was done. 'Now all the other nymphs are gonna think you look cool! Don't you want everypony to think you're cool?"

'...Yes...'

'You're welcome then.'

She groggily opened one eye to look at the black and fuschia guitar tucked protectively under her leg. Her very last possession from her old life. Everything else she'd lost in her tangle with that imp freak (at least Mother made sure to her. This Imago could not live with herself if she lost it.

A large ice cube dropped in her belly. She flipped it over so she could read the golden engraving along the back of its neck.

Always play from the heart

♥ Grandmama

Imago could sense the fresh onslaught of tears already incoming. No. No more crying. A deep growl rattled her vocal cords and she successfully fought them back.

She yanked the tartan covers up to her neck and re-buried her face in the misshapen pillow. Never again, she decided then and there, would she allow herself to cry. Ponies cried. Hatchlings cried. Weaklings. And Imago was sick of feeling like a weakling.

Starting tomorrow, Mother promised the next phase of her training would begin. She would teach Imago how to pulverize this weakness that existed within her from birth. Once she mastered that, then could she untap her true potential. Once she untapped her true potential, then and only then would she take her place in the mighty line of Avalons.

Her hoof brushed over the bandage covering her ear. One thought ran on repeat before she fell asleep.

'And when I do, Mother, I'll make sure to return the favor.'

Session 43.5 Mtangalion and Ardashir

Queen Chrysalis was hunched over her computer, somehow still working and still recieving a link to the human world's Horsecraft Online website, including a live-stream of Crystal-Con.

She also saw the game previews... with a video game version of herself...

"Sombra's flunky, and she's still better off than me... Why can't I play myself? Backstab them all now, you fool! This is your chance! How dare they?! Locust, how many of my evil lawyers remained loyal?"

"Er... All of them, Your Majesty."

Session 43.6 Mtangalion and Ardashir

Pony!Dash said, "Pandas, awesome. Can we get back to how cute I'm not?"

"Are!"

"Not!"

"You so are!"

"Not not not!"

Even worse was to come when the Mane Six see some of the more, ahem, 'risque' fan art of World of Horsecraft.

"Wow, Sunset, that's fan art over there? Of us? Hey, can we get a closer look?"

Sunset blanched. Beside her 'their' Twilight wildly waved her hands 'No' at them.

"SWEET CELESTIA'S FLANK NO!" Sunset smiled weakly at several other congoers who gave her wondering looks. "I mean, heh, it's not all that great -- hey!"

Pinkie Pie grinned as the view through the laptop changed to a collection of WoH fan art. "Okay, now we can see what the humans think of when they... look at ... us?"

Five horrified equines yelled in unison.

"The buck?!? How do they expect me to fly with those things on my chest?"

"How th' hay do they expect me ta stand UP with them? Ah'd need a spine made o' cast iron!"

"Hee-hee!" Pinkie laughed. "They don't know anything about anatomy! Those are near the rear legs, not the front legs!"

"Find what?" An aghast Rarity said, staring in horror at a unicorn like her but colored lime green and hot pink. "It can't be worse than this abomination."

Pinkie helpfully pointed at what she'd seen. Rarity looked. Her eyes widened. Her pupils went to pinpricks. She turned and began walking to the door.

"I'll be back, dears," she said as she left. "I just need to find somepony, anypony, with mind magic so they can strip that image from the memory forever!"

Fluttershy said nothing. She simply seemed to be turning brick red in complexion.

"So, how are they taking it?" They heard Adagio cheerily call from the other end of the connection. "Badly, I hope."

Celestia shouted, "No, Lulu! We are not declaring war on the humans over this... questionable artwork." *blush*

Discord popped in at the worst possible moment, of course. "In the interests of peace, we should reenact these delightfully depraved scenes right away! Then they won't be slander any more! It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make."

Luna roared. "Perverted fiend! We shall lop thy head off from thy shoulders and sacrifice it to..."

"Luna!" Celestia admonished.

Session 43.7 Mooncalf99

"I am so glad you agreed to join us for tonight's game, Shining," Prince Blueblood exclaimed cheerfully. "I've been hoping to make it up to you for letting me join in your game earlier with your friends."

"Oh, hey, how could I resist?" Shining Armor said half-heartedly. How could he resist, indeed. Cadence had insisted he went along, making it crystal clear that he owed his fellow prince after his friends had tried to humiliate him at their game. (Even though they failed miserably.) And it wasn't that bad, really; Blueblood had shown that, despite everything, he did have his heart in the right place, at least when it counted.

On the other hoof, he was still Blueblood.

"So what're we going to play?" Shining asked as he continued climbing the staircase. True, for a pony who lived in King Sombra's old castle (nicknamed "Stairtarus" by the waitstaff), ten floors were no challenge at all, but he didn't quite get why they had to gather at the very top of Blueblood's estate. Given that every room the blonde Prince had shown off was full of souvenirs and knickknacks, maybe he'd run out of space anywhere else. "Ogres and Oubliettes? Equine Squad Leader? Some esoteric game you've picked up on a trip that I've never heard of before?"

"Oh, just a few rounds of cards," Blueblood said offhoofedly as they finally reached the top floor. He opened the door and gestured for Shining to enter. "I'm sure you'll get along with the others. Hello, all!"

"Others?" Shining said in confusion. He looked around the room. Fairly austere if homely, with not nearly as many useless decorations to take up space. The center of the room was occupied by a large round table, with several creatures seated, including...

"Hello again, Shining Armor," the azure unicorn said.

...Trixie Lulamoon. He surpressed a shiver. "Hello, Trixie." So much for just a friendly game. He had personal experience of her playing style, not to mention several second-hoof accounts from his sister. The mare redefined the term 'playing dirty' and could be frighteningly cunning, to say nothing of her propensity for mind games. Victories against Trixie were hard-earned, to say the least. Frankly, he wasn't surprised to see her in Blueblood's company; like seeks like, and disregarding their different stations, the two ponies could easily have been brother and sister. (He pointedly refused to even think about any alternative interpretations.)

On the other hoof, she had taken a major part in saving him and everypony he held dear from a fate worse than death at the pock-marked hooves of the changelings, so perhaps he could, as Rainbow Dash would say, cut her some slack.

Speaking of changelings, one was seated at the table as well. Not Thorax - he could tell at a glance, if only because the King was markedly taller than his subjects - but a dignified and colorful individual, in contrast to the insectoid members of Chrysalis' dwindling excuse for a swarm. He couldn't tell if it was male or female, although he'd come to understand that for them, such things were more a matter of preference than specific biology. And next to them sat a hulking yak, a young brown dragon with a pink mane (since when did dragons have those?), and two almost-identical unicorn stallions.

"I gather you're already acquainted with Miss Lulamoon," Blueblood said, seating himself at a free spot. He raised a hoof and accepted a wine glass from his valet, Sleeves, who seemed to materialize for the exact purpose before fading away again in an almost Pinkie-like manner. "And our other players. Spinnerette of King Thorax's court."

"It's a pleasure to meet you like this, sir," the changeling said cordially. "Our new way of life has been good to my family, and we have so much of it to thank ponykind for."

"Uh, thanks," Shining said. The feeling of gratitude and appreciation emanating from Spinnerette was almost tangible, and it made him warm and a little woozy. Is this what it feels like when they share love? No wonder they changed so much!

"And this is Stonebreaker Yakovlev of Yakyakistan," Blueblood continued.

The yak eyed Shining suspiciously. "Yak has met ill-mannered pony prince before." He didn't bother explaining further, only glowering from under his helmet.

"And Mina the Dragoness, Fillydelphian business owner and hatchling of the Honah-Lee brood," Blueblood continued, gesturing towards the dragon this time.

"Hey, cool meeting you!" the Pinkie-maned dragon said, leaping out of her seat so she could shake his hoof vigorously. He hadn't even offered it to her before she grabbed it with both claws. "So, hey. How did it feel to be the 'Distressed Dude' and have to get rescued again? You're stallion enough to not care about that, right? 'Course you are, you're cool like that. Spike's said so, so it's gotta be true."

"I... haven't thought much about it?" Shining said uncertainly. He wasn't quite sure, but he felt as though the girl was casting some under-hoofed aspersions on his masculinity. "We were all taken by surprise and knocked out. I and the girls and the princesses," he added pointedly.

"And last but not least, Misters Flim and Flam, traveling salesponies non-pareil," Blueblood finished.

"Ah, the good crystal prince,"Flim said smoothly. "An honor to meet you, I'm sure."

"It is, it definitely is," Flam agreed silkily. "An honor and a pleasure."

Discord's cloven hoof, there's four of them, Shining thought in dread. "Wait a second... haven't I seen you two before?"

"Ah, no doubt at one or other of our many exciting and perfectly legal business ventures, where discerning and intelligent stallions are sure to find many rewarding opportunities that aren't of duplicitous nature," Flim said quickly.

"Or perhaps our various entertainment installations to be found across the land, all of which are family-friendly and welcome to all ages, and certainly not locales for questionable activities or illicit goings-on," Flam suggested.

"Yes, that must be it," Flim agreed. "After all, what pony - prince or pauper - could possibly resist fun and wholesome and absolutely not criminal entertainment for the whole family? Did we mention that we're offering a 15% discount for royalty this week only?"

"I don't think we did, brother!" Flam said. "And of course, a whooping 30% off of all toys for children. After all, what kind of father would deny his child all the top-quality, Equestrian hoof-made, flame-retardant, educational toys that he could possibly get her? Certainly not one I'd look in the eye, no siree."

"All right, boys, you've had your fun for now," Trixie said, rolling her eyes. "Make a little room for Mister Shiney Hiney, why don't you?"

"So... what are we going to play?" Shining asked, taking his seat. He was definitely feeling overwhelmed right now. He just hoped it wouldn't be some kind of snooty upper-class card game like Bridge or... well, he didn't really know any other snooty upper-class card games, because he didn't play them. At the very least, it had to be something he knew how to play.

"Oh, I think you'll enjoy this," Blueblood said. He accepted a thick deck of cards and presented it to Shining. "Care to shuffle?"

Shining stared at the back of the topmost card. "'Fluxx'? That's what we're playing?"

"Trixie guesses you're familiar with the game?" Trixie asked.

Shining laughed, relief pouring over him. "Oh, me and the guys have played this hundreds of times! It's the original version, right? No expansions? I know these cards like the back of my hoof."

"Good, good," the yak rumbled. "Game fair then. Would be not-perfect victory against opponent who don't know rules."

"Yeah, it's no fun if it's too easy," Mina agreed.

Shining suddenly felt less confident. Of course, they probably know how to play Fluxx too. I can't afford to make assumptions here. Still, given how unpredictable these cards can be, there's a limit to how many tricks they could get away with. Hay, I bet Trixie can't count cards as well as Twily used to do. Those twins, though... He shuffled the deck thoroughly before dealing to everypony... er, everyone. Eh, let's just have fun for now. And here I thought Bluey would try to get the better of me with some weird game... "Who starts?"

"Oh, you go ahead this time," Blueblood said. "Unless there are objections?"

With none, Shining Armor placed down the starting 'Draw One, Play One' card and drew a card. "Okay, I play 'Play Three', so I get to play two more. Then I play the Goal 'Princess of the Sun' and put down the Keeper 'Princess'. I'm done." He sat back feeling accomplished. Sure, they'd change the Goal as soon as possible, but it was still a strong opening--

"Trixie plays 'Sun', and then 'Steal a Keeper'," Trixie announced. "Oh, look, there's just one other on the table." She snatched up the 'Princess' card with her magic and placed it before herself. "And that completes 'Princess of the Sun' and Trixie wins!" She clapped her hooves excitedly.

"Wait, on the first turn?" Shining said in utter bafflement. That was quick!

"Oh, it happens," Trixie said. "Other times, we go through the deck over and over before anypony wins. It's a very random game. Surely you're not accusing whoever shuffled the deck of setting up the cards so Trixie would win?" She grinned smugly.

"Ugh. Of course not," he muttered. He retrieved the cards again and shuffled the deck. Yakovlev glowered, clearly angered at losing the round before even having a chance to play. Shining hoped that the yak had earned his title from being a very good quarry worker; the alternative hinted at painfulness.

Since Trixie had won, she dealt and began. "Hmm, 'Draw two and play them'. And it's the Goal 'Chocolate Milk' followed by 'Make Love, not War'."

"What a nice sentiment," Spinnerette said. "New rule: 'Play Three', as well as 'Draw Two', so I get another card, and the Goal 'Mind's Eye'. I'm done. This is a fun game!"

"Draw Five, Hoof Limit Zero," Flim declared. "That should make the game interesting. And the 'Eye' Keeper for last." He discarded the rest of his cards.

"Hang on, does that mean I have to discard my hoof now?" Spinnerette asked.

"Not until the end of your turn, I think," Mina said. "Princey?"

"Sounds fair," Blueblood agreed. "What do you think, Shining?"

"Yeah, that's how we usually play," Shining Armor said. "You have to discard your remaining cards after you've played, but not before."

"Okay, my turn," Mina declared. "First the Goal 'Five Keepers'. Then I put down 'Chocolate'. Then 'Draw Three, Play Two', aaand... hah! 'Toaster' and 'Steal a Keeper', in which case I snag Mister Flim's 'Eye'. Two more and I win! Ha ha!"

"Methinks the dragoness is building a hoard," Flam observed.

"Bah! Dragon should know no long-term plans survive contact with this game!" Yakovlev roared. "Yak declare 'Peace and no War'! And also have 'Peace', and no 'War' is on table! Perfect victory!" The yak puffed up his enormous chest proudly. Shining considered asking exactly what made the victory 'perfect', but he'd rather not give the yak a reason to start smashing things, even if they were Blueblood's.

"Hmm... one for Trixie, one for the Yaks," Flam said. "Brother, it seems we must step up our game."

"It seems so, yes," Flim agreed. "Given the stakes, losing would be disastrous for us."

"Stakes?" Shining asked. "Blueblood, you didn't say anything about stakes. What's going on?"

"Oh, the stakes are only the most worthwhile and desired prize in all of Equestria, Sir Armor," Flim declared.

"Yes indeed, a treasure beyond measurable value, my good prince," Flam enthused. "Why, nothing short of a date with the Great and Powerful Trixie!"

"...What?" Shining asked.

"Definitely not a date with Trixie," Trixie corrected. "Those deals never work out very well. Sorry, boys. Besides, Trixie can do better."

"Ah! Shot to the quick!" Flim clutched his chest dramatically.

"Oh, our cunning lady is a cruel and vicious one indeed," Flam declared. He grinned. "We wouldn't want her any other way."

"No, no we wouldn't," Flim agreed.

Shining Armor chuckled. "Oh, you guys nearly had me there. Cadence would kill me for something like that."

"Oh, worry not," Blueblood said reassuringly. "If those were the stakes, I'd have to declare you uneligible. Just, you know, for the sake of marital integrity and good taste. Besides, Equestrian domination is enough of a prize."

"Huh?" Shining laughed again. "Okay, that's funny."

"What's so funny about the absolute control of all of Equestria and surrounding lands?" Trixie asked.

"You can't fool me this time, Trixie," Shining said. "That's hardly something you decide over a game of Fluxx. Come on, I'm not that gullible."

"You'd be surprised at the stakes that's been played for over the years," Blueblood said gravely. "Canterlot's representatives, myself included, have always dominated the game, hence why Auntie Celestia has remained in control all this time. Though, the competition this year is definitely above average."

"But--" Shining began.

"After all, aren't the players here a rather auspicious group?" Blueblood continued. "Yakovlev representing Yakyakistan. Mina, the dragon territories. Spinnerette for the changeling lands - oh, and am I ever glad not to have to deal with the queen this time. I represent Canterlot, Trixie represents Ponyville and middle Equestria, and Flim and Flam compete in the name of Las Pegasus and Manehattan respectively, covering the west and east. And finally, you fight for the Crystal Empire. Neat, no?"

"But what about the--" Shining shook his head. "I've never even heard about this, and I used to be Captain of the Guard!"

"The game is only played once per decade, Shinypants," Trixie said. "And it's kept top secret. You were a green cadet when it happened the last time - you think they tell state secrets to the grunts?" She sighed. "Look, I was surprised too when Blueblood asked me to play, but I'm going to give it my all. I'm sure life under Empress Twilight Sparkle is going to be just fine. Possibly more book and friendship-focused than before, but at least we'll be safe and educated, right?"

"I admire your gumption, girl, but I think it's high time Equestria had a taste of democracy," Flam said. "'President Flam' has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

"Almost as nice as 'President Flim'," Flim said. "Don't worry, brother. I will reserve a spot for you in the new government."

"Ponies waste time on pointless schemes if they want," Yakovlev said with a menacing grin. "Yaks will make New Yakyakistan perfect."

"Sorry about this, but King Thorax is just really, really nice, you know?" Spinnerette said, sounding a bit embarrassed.

Mina shrugged. "I just wanted to play a really good game."

"So shall we get back to the game?" Blueblood asked. "The sooner we're done, the sooner we can greet the new world order. Or the old one, assuming I take home the pot as usual."

"I..." Shining Armor stood up. "I need some fresh air. Really need fresh air. Wait for me, I'll be right back." He staggered out the door and slammed it shut behind him, followed by the sounds of hooffalls as he stumbled down the stairs.

Silence reigned in the room for a few moment. Then Spinnerette raised a hoof. "Uh, just checking, but we are going to tell him this is just a prank eventually, right?"

"Well, of course," Blueblood said. "Eventually. When it stops being funny, at the very latest."

"Not too soon," Yakovlev muttered. "Prince still needs learn manners."

Session 43.8 Kendell2

Based off Friends Forever 34.

"So...this house is alive?" Rainbow Dash asked, playing twister at a party in said house.

"Yep!" Pinkie Pie called, spinning the needle. "Right hoof on red! Her name is "Housey"!"

Twilight groaned as she tried to move her right leg. "Her?"

"Cheese Sandwich called Housey a girl."

Twilight was tempted to point out a building couldn't technically have gender, but was too busy trying to move in the tangle of ponies. "And this happened because the family's protection ward spell combined with their love and joy and caused the house to become a sapient entity?"

Pinkie Pie nodded. "Yep!" she called, trying to reach the spinner but not able to from her current possession. A chair's leg suddenly moved and spun it for her. "Thanks Housey! Left hoof on green!"

"Does that happen often?" Applejack asked, trying to move without falling over. She and Rainbow Dash were practically tied in a knot. "You'd think you'd heard about it more often if it COULD. Ah mean protection wards aren't that uncommon, our house has one on it for peats sake!...Come tah think about it, we should probably get one on the barn given our luck with it..."

"Can do it later. And it could be a specific protection ward and the family just had an exceptionally strong love for the house," Twilight pointed out. "It's possible Housey isn't the only one, but most of them are happy just...well, being houses and loving their family."

"Gosh darn it!" Granny Smith said, trying to reach a can on a top shelf but having difficulty. "Of all the times for AJ, Applebloom, and Big Mac tah all be out!"

She didn't notice it, but the wall moved slightly behind the shelf, moving the can forwards and into her reach just enough to go unnoticed.

"That's better!" the old mare replied, taking it to go make dinner as the wall returned completely to normal and a small glow happened.

OOC: For the record, I LOVE that issue and feel the idea of protective wards combined with the Power of Love over lifetimes can bring a place to life and make it a living being that loves it's inhabitants MAJOR fanfic fuel.

Session 43.9 Mtangalion

While Shining Armor was playing card games in Prince Blueblood's castle, supposedly to decide who would rule Equestria, several letters of interest were dispatched before the prank was revealed...

--

Prince Erik lounged on the throne of Icehome, pawing through the "Jeweled Collar Designs - by Rarity" catalog. "Blasted pony takes Diamond Wolf wealth faster than wolves can dig up more. Padded collar with sapphires looks so comfy, though..."

Another wolf laid a message in front of Erik. "What spies say now?" His ears pricked up. "Of course they don't invite us. They know we'd win."

--

Button Mash smirked at Featherweight's latest story for the Foal Free Press. "Well, of course they didn't invite me. They knew I'd win!"

--

In the highest aerie of the royal palace of the Griffon Kingdom, King Griswold browsed the latest report from his spymaster, tapping the pages with a talon. "Who would even want to rule Equestria? It's costing us a fortune, just to bring Griffonstone back into the flock. Hah, see how their royalty play games to foist the responsibility off on somegriffon else!"

--

Imago listened to the spy's report, then glanced to her mother. "It's a prank?"

Chrysalis grinned darkly. "Good, you're learning. Of course, if they'd been fool enough to invite me, I could have easily won..."

Session 43.10 Alex Warlorn

"Spike? I need you to dragon mail this Enchanted Comic return to sender." Princess Twilight called.

"How come? Is this like that interactive Ponysona comic, where your shadow came to life, and mocked how you never asked to be a princess, you just wanted to be a librarian or a magic research scientist, but Celestia never bothered to ask you, and you doesn't to admit to yourself or Celestia how up set you were on the inside?... And you ran away screaming that it wasn't true, and you fainted and your shadow grew into a-"

"NO! I mean, no, this one is just defective, it keeps crashing." Twilight hooved the comic to Spike.

"'True Resurrection of the Princess?' What keeps happening?"

"Well, after the final battle, and all the plot points have already been wrapped up, and suddenly this mentor character pops up and tells us to go kill Celestia, or Equestria will never know true freedom, then the characters at her castle began to make these superficial arguments against Celestia's right to exist, and I pointed out how skewed their view of Celestia was... who was a giant screaming pony head for some reason... and the comic kept crashing, everything freezes up, the colors invert, and spits me out, and I have to start the adventure from the beginning."

"... Right ... I wouldn't bet to get your money back though, I think the best you can expect is some store credit."

"Be that as it may."

Session 43.11 Ardashir

"Uh, Twilight, by the way, what ever did happen with those games Chrysalis was convincing your Gizmo and Poindexter to sell, based on her version of events?" Spike looked at the somewhat dusty pile in the corner of the room. On the cover of one an impossibly beautiful version of Queen Chrysalis smiled or maybe just leered at the viewer. "Are they still selling them?"

"Actually? Yes." Twilight shrugged. "Apparently a lot of gamers rework them so you can defeat Chrysalis instead. It's funny," Twilight rubbed her chin, looking thoughtful. "Chrysalis was actually getting popular with some ponies through those games, but now? After what she did?" She showed Spike a letter from Gizmo and Poindexter's game company. It was advance art for a new game, depicting a vicious Chrysalis running in terror from the Mane Six and Thorax under the words, 'Defeat the Evil, Greedy, Old, Hideous, Megalomaniac Queen Cheeselegs!'

Spike snickered at the cover. "Queen Cheeselegs?"

"That way she can't claim copyright infringement for the use of her name, if she was even stupid enough to try."

In the Badlands

"WHAT! Why, those - those - those miserable, ungrateful geeks!" Chrysalis ripped the magazine containing the ad for the new game apart. She flung it at the wall; before it hit the ground her roly-poly son Vordul was chewing on it. She yelled at her chief (and only) spy, "Assassin Bug! Do we have anyling left who can sneak into Canterlot and hire a hitpony?"

"Umm, there ARE no hitponies, majesty. I think there may be one or two that would throw a pie in their faces if we paid enough, though."

Chrysalis snarled. "Why can't Equestria be more like all the horror stories I tried spreading about it for years? How am I supposed to get my revenge when I can't even hire an assassin? Wait, do we still have some lawyers left?"

"No pony ones. They all said they don't work for free for foreign invaders who ponynapped their princesses and national heroines."

Chrysalis laid on the rock floor and groaned.

"No lawyers! No assassins! Being a poor villain sucks!"

Session 43.12 Kendell2

"So, how are things going, Thorax?" Starlight asked, leading the Changeling King towards a game room.

"Pretty good," Thorax replied with a smile. "We just finished clearing the Cragodile pit and turning it into a community pool."

Twilight's student blinked. "She had a Cragodile pit?!"

"Yes. She also had the circus maximus which...well, was basically the Romare Colosseum..." the new Changeling monarch replied, looking a bit queasy at whatever memories that brought up. "It's still there, but we're using it for hoofball and more sports and less...potentially deadly forms of entertainment now."

"I don't blame you..." Starlight muttered as they reached the door to the game room. "Anything else?"

"Well, my subjects are still trying to convince me to mandate bigger doors..."

"Why?" the purple unicorn asked...before cringing at a loud crash and turning to see that the rather large antlers Thorax possessed had torn straight through the door frame and wall around it when he'd gone through the door.

The Changeling King blinked, having apparently not even noticed until he saw Starlight react, then looked back and blushed green. "That's why...I'm still getting used to the antlers. Grandmother suggested a forty five degree angle but I'm not used to it yet...sorry..."

"It's fine...the castle self repairs..."

"Welcome to game night, Thorax," Trixie called, already seated next to Discord.

Thorax waved and sat down...then tried for a few minutes to sit properly on a chair due to still getting used to being twice the size he used to be and thus having longer legs to deal with. "Thanks for inviting me. Princess Celestia's book on being a good ruler had an entire chapter on why taking time to have fun is important."

Discord sighed. "Ugh...If you want my advice on being a ruler, just do whatever the Tartarus you want! Your word is literally law!"

Trixie rolled her eyes. "Yes, because that worked out SO well."

"...Point taken..."

"So what game are we playing?" Thorax asked, looking at the table. He noticed a computer for each of them.

"The new World of Hoofcraft expansion is coming out and it involves defeating Chrysalis," Starlight explained. "So we thought perhaps it'd be fun to set up accounts and doing some grinding...after all, we've already done it once."

Thorax blinked...then smiled. "I'd like that...what's World of Horsecraft?"

"Game from an alternate universe," Trixie explained. "Also, we might run into our alternate selves...Trixie is actually looking forward to that..."

Discord grumbled. "I'm still sore at alternate me...he trolled me. Only I get to troll me!"

The Changeling King cocked his head. "But isn't that what happened?"

"...Yes...but only when I'm trolling alternate me!"

Session 43.13 Ardashir

And in the world of Canterlot High:

"Okay, ladies," Sunset said over her headset link as she prepared to return to Horsecraft and enter the latest quest. "We all ready?"

The responses came through loud and clear: "All ready here, sugarcube!" "Um, I'm pretty sure I'm ready." "Hey, let's get going and beat old Bug-butt!" "I am perfectly poised, darling."

"I brought the snacks!" Pinkie Pie cheered over the connection. Sunset almost yanked her headset off.

"Pinkie, I thought we agreed, not so loud!" Sunset relaxed. "Besides, if the snacks are with you, how are we supposed to..." She felt something beside her and looked to see a small box of candy. "Huh, that wasn't there a moment ago -- Pinkie," her voice turned deadly serious. "You haven't been taking lessons from, uh, someone you may have met on the other side of a mirror, have you?"

"Naw, I come by it naturally!" Sunset somehow heard Pinkie's grin as she answered.

"Are we ready to go now?" Sci-Twi shyly said through her link.

"All ready," Sunset said. And with one press of a button they once more entered World of Horsecraft, even as (all unknown to them) so did the Shadowbolts. The latter were promising each other that this time, they'd stay away from any 'easy villain runs'.

And at Crystalsoft proper, a dark figure smiled to see all the gamers logging on.

"That's right, players," VP Chrysalis said with an evil grin on her face. A top of the line computer with its own headset sat right beside her, ready to let her take control of Queen Chrysalis. "Come and learn why they're called 'Changelings'."

In the next room, Thorax and several of her other programmers were here to provide "voluntary" assistance in running some of the more powerful Changeling lieutenants and ready to take the place of other gamers' ponies that these players knew. To set them up for an ambush. A trifle nasty, yes, but then gamers enjoyed surprises, didn't they?

The wall-mounted big screen before Chrysalis turned on as gamers' avatars began to arrive in Equestria.

Chrysalis smiled widely, her teeth gleaming like fangs.

"Come right in, said the spider to the flies."

Session 43.14 Kendell2

"Hey boss?" asked Aria, she and the other sirens trotting into VP's office as she prepared to 'assume direct control' of her in game self (as Sonata put it).

"Oh, hello. Did you finish that song for the promotional music video?" Chrysalis asked, looking ready to enjoy herself.

Adagio nodded, taking a disc out and sliding it over. "I do think it's great work. Even if we didn't sing the lyrics." Chrysalis herself had written and sung the lyrics, it was there job to put them to music.

"We also made you a ring tone version of it and emailed it to you! Happy Hear...I mean Christmas!" Sonata chimed in, completely obvious to the fact her sisters were trying to get on the boss' goodside with that.

Chrysalis blinked, took out her cell phone and installed the new ring tone while Adagio produced her cellphone and called her.

"This Day is Going To Be Perfect..."

The VP smirked. "Glorious."

"Glad you like it," Adagio noticed what was going on. "...Hey, mind if we join in on this? Don't know if I've told you but we know we can be pretty...alluring when we want to be."

"Hmm...I'm listening."

Session 43.15 MagicMan001

"Now Vordul... Cuddlebug. You know Mommy loves you more than anything," Chrysalis spoke serenely, taking a deep, soothing sip of her tea. "And the last thing she wants is to stifle your..." She considered her next words carefully. "Freedom to be yourself. But you can't just go around eating mommy's minions. As much as you used to. She's only got twelve and three-quarters left now and--"

"WHYYY?!" the maimed drone's cries of agony were so loud they could be heard in the ruin's communal kitchen.

"Shut up!"

The drone who had the grave misfortune of sitting right next to her cringed and pressed his ears against his head, but the sheer force of her voice actually threw him off his chair.

Chrysalis cleared her throat and regained her motherly composure in front of her son, finishing where she'd left off, "And Mommy needs her minions in her pursuit of regaining power and unleashing her brutal revenge on our enemies. Do you understand, Puddin' Poly?"

The small and very fat male nymph sitting across the kitchen table from her didn't look up from his chubby hooves. Snuggled in a thick blue Neighke hoodie, he was muzzle-down in his GameColt, a fat hunk of grey plastic with a glaring screen and a few buttons.

Right now, he was sucked into the 8-bit world of Pony Zombie Pummel XIII, the Hive's most popular video game series going back three generations. He played as the super cool Hercules van Beetle, crusading across a virus-infected Equestria, draining zombified ponies of every ounce of their love before brutally eviscerating them.

You'd be surprised how fresh a familiar concept can still manage to be after thirteen installations.

"Vordul?" Chrysalis asked a little more firmly. "Are you listening to me?"

His fragile world of eye-watering flashes and blings interrupted, Vordul pulled his sore eyes away from the glaring screen, growling at her, "UGH! Yeah, I heard you, okay?! Can I go now?"

"Young nymph, don't you dare back-talk your mother!" the drone sitting beside scolded.

Chrysalis promptly walloped him with the back of her hoof. "Stay out of it, Weevil, you're not even his real father!"

"Pfft! Yeah, Weevil, buck off," scoffed Vordul, who'd turned his attention back to his game.

Weevil whimpered and slunked out of the kitchen, his shoulders hunched like a whipped dog. Once the pathetic husk of chitin was out of their sight, the ex-Queen narrowed her eyes on her gelatinous offspring and sourly curled her lip.

Okay. Time for some tough love.

It took the entranced Vordul couple of seconds to realize the GameColt vanished from his hooves.

"H-Hey! Hey!" He stupidly looked around in search of his favourite device, only to find to his mother leaned back in her chair and casually playing his game. Badly. "Mom! What are you doing? Give that back!"

Using more energy in one spurt than he had his entire life, Vordul galloped over to his mother's chair, jumping as high as his stubby, pudgy legs would allow him. Which was very little. Chrysalis didn't even need to hold it out of his reach.

"Hmm? Sorry, honey, Mommy's too busy with her game," she crooned absentmindedly. She squinted her eyes and tilted her head. "It says 'life meter low', is that bad?"

"EXPIRED!" the game's baritone voice intoned.

"Oops."

Vordul was on the verge of a nuclear meltdown. "Mom, stop it!" he shrieked. His hooves pounded the cobbled floor like a furious woodpecker. "You can't play my--what are you do--you're gonna kill all my--OH MY GOSH ALL MY EXTRA LIVES!"

She replied blithely, "It's not nice when others don't listen to you, is it?"

Now a sly and intelligent creature she may be, Chrysalis still had a habit of underestimating her own offspring, including being their ability to be just as cunning as she. It was easy to write her son off as nothing but a fat, indolent lump with the brain the size of a chicken nugget, but all outward appearances aside, Vordul was no dummy.

Being the favourite child all his life, he knew what buttons to push at the right time. Many times in the past, he played Mommy like a harp from Tartarus.

If he threw a temper tantrum like one of his sisters', there was no way he'd get his Colt back. And boy, did he need his Colt. His new life outside the hive meant a much less substantial diet compared to what he was used to. It been more than a week since his last brunch or third dinner! Now he'd already ravaged the rat population in the ruins, and bar the love rations and small Badlands wildlife, for the first time since he could remember, his stomach was growling. That GameColt was the one thing taking his mind off it all.

So Vordul calmed himself down, swallowed his bile and put on his best 'Good Nymph' impression. "I'm sorry I ate one of your minion's legs, Mommy." He nestled his head on her lap and forced some tears for good measure, sniffling, "But... th-they were playing Hippos. Right in front of me. They were teasing me, Mommy!"

The 'Good Nymph' act never failed with Chrysalis, who tenderly stroked his head while she continued to play.

"Oh, I know, Sweet Slug, I know," she consoled him. "And Mommy has ordered every copy of that game in a 100 mile radius burned on a pyre. But you can't just devour any changeling you like anymore. We're no longer living in the Hive and you need to understand that."

"I do! I do. It was bad and I won't do it anymore. Oh, a-and I'm sorry I didn't listening to you. Good sons listen to their mommies." He then smiled hopefully and reached up and expecting hoof, asking in a completely different tone, "So can I please have my Colt back now? Pweeeaaase!

For a moment, Chrysalis kept on gaming, Then she hit the pause button and gave him the warmest, most maternal of smiles.

"Apology accepted, Vordul," she said, giving his untidy mane a playful ruffle. "But no." She flipped the power switch and the game died with one final pony zombie's murderous growl. "You spend far too much time on this thing. It'll give you square eyes and make you maladjusted."

Vordul's grin evaporated and his jaw crashed to the floor. Not only had the 'Good Nymph' act fail for the first time Ever, but did she just turn the console off... without saving?! He hadn't saved at a checkpoint since that morning, so that could only mean...

'I'm gonna have to start over all the way back in Deadmare's Desert!' he screamed internally.

The little tubba goo was so livid it felt like he was about to explode out of his chitin like the grossly overstuffed sausage he was. He could already hear the little tears and pops in his ears.

"I... you..."

"Okay, now that? That's exactly what I'm talking about."

"YOU STUPID BUCKING BITCH!"

In the distance, a drone spat out his drink of cactus juice and Imago sat up in her bed from her sleep, breaking into laughter.

The GameColt fell from Chrysalis' trembling hooves and broke into many pieces of plastic and circuits. She stayed where she sat, staring bug-eyed into oblivion, mouth agape. All she could do was twitch.

Vordul could have dumped bullion, that was how terrified he was as his hooves flew over his colour-drained muzzle. Even the sudden destruction of his beloved GameColt didn't mean piss compared to the fatal boo boo of all boo boos he'd just made.

The maddening silence was broken only by the gross rrriiip of his sticky pale belly suddenly bursting out of his chitin and stinking further past his knees.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Cover by http://nun2artzy.deviantart.com/art/Pony-Fantasy-3-The-Apple-Fighter-469527824

Session 43.0 Alex Warlorn and Mtangalion
Session 43.1 Mooncalf99 (WELCOME BACK!)
Session 43.2 Mtangalion
Session 43.3 Mtangalion
Session 43.4 MagicMan001
Session 43.5 Mtangalion and Ardashir
Session 43.6 Mtangalion and Ardashir
Session 43.7 Mooncalf99
Session 43.8 Kendell2
Session 43.9 Mtangalion
Session 43.10 Alex Warlorn
Session 43.11 Ardashir
Session 43.12 Kendell2
Session 43.13 Ardashir
Session 43.14 Kendell2
Session 43.15 MagicMan001
Cover image by Nun2artzy

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Session 44

Session 44.0 Ardashir

"Okay, so why are we here again?" Dash flew into the room with the Cutie Mark Map, where her friends already stood. "Another Cutie Mark problem?"

"No," Twilight picked up a thick book on the table as she spoke. "Big Brother's friends asked us to test another game." She showed it to them, made to be old and leathery-looking, with a crimson five-pointed star set within a circle on a black background.

"Oh dear," Fluttershy ducked and looked over the table. "It's not another horror game, is it?"

Twilight sighed as Rarity set a comforting hoof over Fluttershy's withers. "Yes, Fluttershy, so if you want to leave I'll understand. But given how you helped with Discord you might like this idea, it was made by my brother's friends working with some of the inmates of Tartarus."

"Huh?" Applejack examined the book very gingerly. "Yah sure that's a good idea?" She flipped through it, finding the setting section in red ink on white paper; the character section in red ink on black paper; and the third section completely blank black paper. "They didn't even finish this here book, this last section got nothin' in it."

"Oh, that!" Twilight took the book back and examined the introduction. "It's supposed to be that way. It's magic, the letters will appear in the dark." Twilight grinned as evilly as she could, which wasn't much. "It'll be spookier that way. So, girls, you in for a test drive or not?"

"I have some free time," Rarity sat herself at the table. "In the interests of helping Gizmo and the rest..."

"And we'll be helping somepony from Tartarus, too, and that's a good thing, right?" Pinkie Pie bounced over to her chair. She stopped and scratched her chin. "Say, Twilight? Just who DID help with this book?"

"It wasn't Tirek," Twilight read the dedication "'To the very dear ponies of Equestria, thank you for all the happy memories -- Hydia. May this innocent and totally harmless pastime amuse and enlighten you as you all participate in it.'"

The ponies froze. Six sets of worried eyes looked at each other.

"Um, Twilight," Rainbow Dash dropped down in her chair. She shifted uneasily. "Are we gonna regret this?"

Twilight rolled her eyes and began to dim the lights, closing the doors and windows. Darkness slowly deepened within the room.

"Girls, come on." She opened the tome before her, illuminated by the light of a single lantern. "It's only a book." Twilight began to read. "'Open your minds to the wisdom you are about to receive. Speak the words and set me free...'"

Deep within Tartarus, a short and hideous-looking witch began to cackle in the midst of the perfectly innocent tea party she was having with some sickeningly adorable bears, rabbits, and other woodland creatures.

"Heh-heh-heh! At least I'll be out of this dump, at any rate!"

(OOC: Let someone else write how hilariously this can fail. This is Hydia, after all; she never wins against the ponies.)

Session 44.1 MagicMan001 with Alex Warlorn

Vordul walked into the kitchen where his mother and sisters were sitting, Chrysalis was apparently reading a newspaper, which hide that she was magically writing with some underground anti-authority gamer producers that were producing yet another 'Your fully customizable changeling queen the destroys thinly veiled parodies of Shining Armor and Cadence and the Mane Six.' It helped unlike the invasion in Canterlot, the average ponies had not witnessed Chrysalis' latest attack (which had been the point), and Equestria had very poor mass media. Not that this is had helped the winter court be diplomatically recognized... yet. The Frost Giants had, technically.

Imago was eating insect and love concentrate cereal. And Pupa was... 'nursing' as changelings can. He was wearing a Neighke hoodie, thick black shades, purple beanie and heavy, jingling gold chain. He carried a huge boombox over his shoulder blasting music.

Vordul said, "S'up, homies!"

Imago said flat, "No."

"Mommy, I'm scared," quivered Pupa.

Chrysalis said flatly, not looking up from her paper. "Take that crap off before I hit you."

Session 44.2 Mtangalion and Ardashir with Alex Warlorn

(Continued with Session 43.5 Mtangalion and Ardashir / Session 43.6 Mtangalion and Ardashir )

(Continued with Session 43.5 Mtangalion and Ardashir
Session 43.6 Mtangalion and Ardashir )

Discord laughed. "Anatomy? How tediously limiting. Don't knock bipedalism 'til you've tried it." He snapped his fingers.

The next thing they knew, Celestia and Luna were a pair of voluptuous anthro alicorns.

Luna muttered, "this can't get any worse."

Just then some of the castle servant entered the room. "Did their Highnesses call for us? We -- "They saw what stood before them, on two legs. "AHHHH! Monsters! Monsters that ate the Princesses! CALL THE GUARDS!"

Celestia called, "No! No, my little ponies! Wait!" She ran after them to explain, and the panicked servants galloped away in panic.

Luna glared at the cackling Discord. "YOU!"

"What?" Discord said, wiping tears from his eyes as he rolled on the air. "I'm just expanding your horizons! BWA-HAHAHA!"

Luna's eyes turned red. "Then you can expand your own!"

"Ha! You think can transform me! Ha! In your dreams!" Discord realized what he just said. Oh dear.

"No! In my Night Guards'!" Luna zapped Discord asleep where he stood.

Discord appeared in the collective dreams of Luna's royal guards... now a incredibly shapely anthro dragonequus... on a darkened stage with a spot light... in an imaginary day-club full of Thestrals, who were all dreaming the same thing of somehow being anthro bat ponies, but due to the logic of dreams found nothing wrong with that. They whistled and gave cat call.

Discord snapped her fingers... only for the dancing poll to appear as a result.

"... Drat."

Session 44.3 Mtangalion

Princess Twilight Sparkle rushed into Canterlot Castle's throne room, yawning. "What's the trouble? The message said it was urgent."

The Night Guard escorting her bowed, seeming embarrassed. "Perhaps it's best if you see for yourself, highness."

Twilight nodded and started on the long trot through the hall, only to stop in her tracks, eyes wide.

Princess Luna was... some kind of anthropomorphic Alicorn mare? She had hands with fingers, but hooves where humans would have feet. She was large and... well-proportioned, too... very attractive by human standards, if those applied at all here. Her dress would have inspired Rarity right into a creative frenzy. Apparently, in spite of all of this, Luna had plopped an extra cushion down on her throne and carried right on with Night Court.

Filthy Rich, currently the only petitioner, waved a hoof-full of documents at Luna. "So, about this new overtime wage law..."

Something made an electronic chime, causing Luna to gasp. "One moment, my little pony!" The transformed Princess of the Night pulled out a human mobile phone, poking at the touch-sensitive screen with her fingertips. "YES! We finally have enough stamina for the next dungeon!" Eight-bit battle music played out of tiny speakers, mixed with cartoonish sounds of sword swipes and flying spells. "We summon Shiva! Have at thee, fiends!"

Filthy growled. "Again!? Forget this, I'm coming back in the morning."

Luna kept tapping the device, not even noticing when he left, stomping past Twilight on his way out. "This will only take a minute... or four or five. Ah, but we must venture into the daily dungeon as well to earn more holy orbs!"

Twilight took a deep breath, approaching the throne. "Okay, I think I see what the problem is."

Luna was surprised enough to look away from the phone briefly. "Truly, your powers of deduction astound us at times, young Twilight." She grinned eagerly. "Tell us, how can we send bits to the human world to buy gems, so that we may continue playing Last Fantasy Record Keeper without waiting for the stamina to refill?"

Session 44.4 Alex Warlorn and Mtangalion

"That is a... very nice dress Princess, er, Luna..."

"Thank ye Twilight, we made it ourselves."

"Truly, that knave Discord has a devilish imagination. Why are our teats up here, and why so large? One would think we were nursing twin foals! Perhaps if we magic yon dress into a suitable shape and put it on, stallions will once again look at our face when addressing us."

"But seriously, we could use thy help in this matter."

"... Uh, Luna, Sunset explained something to me about those games... after an... incident... she said that the makers of such games call ponies, humans, people, who pay large sums to their 'free to play' games, as 'whales.' "

"And?"

"And those games, Sunset explained, that they're designed to prey on every psychological trap the human brain has!"

"And how would she or thy know?"

Princess Twilight blushed. "I... might have some experience."

Session 44.5 Ardashir

"Um, by the way, Princess Luna?" Twilight hesitated to ask. "Just where is Princess Celestia?"

Luna rose, her new anatomy moving in a fashion that would have drawn the immediate interest of most males and some females. Luna looked down at herself and snorted.

"Bah! How do females with such a form even manage to move without drawing the eye of every stallion nearby?" She walked to a nearby door, leading off into one of the smaller chambers used by the Princesses when they desired some temporary privacy during their duties. "My sister is within, Twilight. She asked me to ask Discord whence the ideas for these bizarre forms came from. He did show us the 'World of Horsecraft' fan art." Luna opened the door onto a darkened chamber beyond. "My sister seemed oddly fascinated with what she saw."

"Okay." Twilight frowned and scratched her chin. "Wait, where is Discord now?"

Luna scowled in a fearsome fashion.

"He is currently indisposed."

In Discord's dream, the curvaceous draconequs, currently in an leather outfit, stood on a rooftop with a Thestral in a Bat-pony costume.

"So you'll leave your life of crime and join me in defending the honest ponies of Equestria, Cat-cord?" He said, sounding delighted as he held her hands.

"Anything if I can get out of this dream!" Discord groaned back. She tried to shapechange, to teleport, to change shape. All useless. "This romance stuff gives me a rash!"

Twilight slipped inside the room. Celestia sat against the far wall, looking at the one computer Sunset had sent her and Luna. She seemed frozen.

"See if you can aid my sister, Twilight," Luna closed the door. "I must see if Discord is yet ready to remove these hideous bodies he has cursed my sister and myself with." The sound of her hooves clopping on the floor came, fading as she left.

"Princess?" Twilight slowly approached. Celestia seemed frozen. Twilight shivered a bit at seeing her teacher in this unnatural form. If she'd found that 'fan art'... "Princess Celestia? I'm afraid the humans are a little randier than ponies, and when they get bored..."

She froze. Twilight could see the screen's image, and it bore the picture of the three leading figures of Crystalsoft. The human Chrysalis, Discord, and --

"Sombra," Celestia said, lightly touching the image on the screen. "Do you know the other me, as I once knew the other you?" She shook her head, and Twilight colored as other parts of the Princess' current form also shook. "I wonder what has become of that other me?"

Sunset got a knock at her door, and opened it to find Princesses Luna and Celestia standing there.

"WHAT! How did you come through the mirror portal without letting me know? Wait, why are you still equine? Or half-equine?" Sunset looked at their clothes So like those of Principals Celestia and Luna -- her blood froze. Hoping she was wrong, she hurried them into her hotel room. "Miss Celestia? Miss Luna? How did this happen?"

"Actually, Sunset Shimmer?" Princess Luna said. Sunset stared to hear the voice of Principal Luna.

"We hoped you could tell us," Principal Celestia said, ears pinned and sounding highly annoyed.

Session 44.6 Ardashir

"So, this just happened to both of you?" Sunset asked her principals. They were sitting at one of the tables in the con's tabletop-games room, one of the few places in the con Sunset figured would have both enough room and some privacy. She'd hurriedly set up a game of chess to fool anyone looking in.

Though she had to wonder how many fans would think the two anthropomorphic alicorns were anything but fans in very well-made costumes.

"We were grading papers and discussing the school budget," Luna rose and frowned, arms folded over her chest. She tossed her mane back from her face, looking annoyed as she accidentally hit her own horn. "Then there was a blast of light, a sound like mad laughter, we felt like we were being stretched like rubber, and the next thing we know?" Luna stood up, angrily stomped one hoof against the floor. She indicated first her sister and then herself. "We look like, like, something out of a cartoon!"

"You have no idea," Sunset said under her breath. As principal Celestia and Luna looked confused, she said, "Okay, but why did you come here?"

"We remembered some of the, ah, more unusual knowledge and skills you and your friends have displayed in the past," Celestia tapped her velvet nose. "This definitely counts as 'unusual'."

"So, any ideas?" Luna asked in a hopeful tone.

Sunset leaped to her feet. Face in her hands, she crossed the room from one end to the next. She turned and looked at the principals of Canterlot High. A pair of half-human alicorns looked back at her, their large eyes wide.

"So you don't know how this happened?" Both alicorns shook their heads no. Sudden cold fear trailed along Sunset's spine. "Wait, can either of you work magic?"

They looked at her in disbelief. "Please try," Sunset said, wondering how to explain it. "See if you can feel a sort of -- pulse, along your horns."

Celestia and Luna looked at each other, shrugged, and both furrowed their brows. Sunset held her breath as she felt a weak flow of mana from them both. It might be enough to control the fall of dice, but nor more than that.

"Well at least neither of you will be playing with any heavenly bodies," she sighed in relief.

"Talk about heavenly bodies!"

Sunset scowled out the door. Two male congoers were there, their eyes focused entirely on Celestia and Luna. Celestia covered her smile with one hand. Sunset hurried to the table and moved a rook.

"Uh, my rook to your queen, 'Princess Celestia'."

"Hey, bacon hair?" A male voice called behind her. "Can you, uh, move out of the way and let us see the real show?"

"Who are they even supposed to be, anyway?" His friend asked. The amused look on Celestia's face faded a bit when he added, "They're dressed like a pair of old schoolteachers."

Luna stood up, nearly bristling in her fury.

"We are the Princesses Luna and Celestia! Er, I mean, we're dressed like them!" She tilted her head back proudly, arching her long equine neck.

"Yeah, right," the complainer said. "You dress like my grandma."

Luna frowned at them and stomped over to close the door with a slam.

"That reminds me," Sunset sat back down in relief. "You came here? Looking like THAT?" Sunset shook her head and groaned. She definitely felt a headache coming on. "What if someone SAW you?"

"Several people saw us on the way in," Celestia said. For some reason Luna began to look more and more angry as her sister smiled. "We received quite a few compliments on the quality of our costumes." She looked a trifle superior as she said, "Well, I did. Luna, well..."

Confused, Sunset looked at Luna.

"They told me I was 'vamping it up too much'!" Luna put her hands on her hips. Her long tail lashed behind her as though she were swatting flies. "They said, 'Buddy, no one is going to take YOU seriously as a female!'"

Celestia fought down a giggle; Luna gave her sister a dirty look; and Sunset wondered how worse this day could possibly get.

Universe, she thought, that wasn't a dare.

Session 44.7 Ardashir

While Twilight and the teratogenicly transformed princesses sought a solution to their problem, her friends -- well, friend Starlight Glimmer and rival Trixie, were checking out a Canterlot toy store seeing if there were any new games they could buy for the upcoming Hearth's Warming.

"And so that the Great and Powerful Trixie can find another way to humiliate Twilight Sparkle," Trixie boasted as they looked at the various offerings on display. They were currently surrounded by dolls and stuffed animals.

"Will you ever get over that, Trixie?" Starlight asked as she looked at the selection on display. Everything from the finest magically enhanced, hoof-made fancy dolls of Celestia, Luna, and Cadence to simple plush figures of various mythic and fictional characters and a whole array of animals. Starlight pointed at one gemstone inlaid porcelain doll of Celestia with a price tag that would have supported her for months. "Look at that! What parent would dare to let their foal play with that, even if they could afford it?"

"Nopony buys it for them to play with," Trixie said with a sniff. "They buy it and lock it in a glass case to impress everypony with how much they love their foals." She flicked her tail off at a pile of plush ponies. "Those are better if you want your foal to actually - have fun -- What!"

Trixie and Starlight stared at what they saw. Six plushies made to resemble six ponies they knew well, very well. Trixie worked her mouth until she spat out, "Twilight Sparkle and her friends are now toys for foals?"

"Spike showed me that cereal with the 'Elements of Harmony marshmallows'," Starlight said, sounding amused. "But I didn't think they had toys made of them!" She picked one up that looked like Rainbow Dash. "I bet Dash and Pinkie Pie would be delighted."

"But, but Trixie helped save Equestria too!" The blue showpony indignantly stamped her hoof. Her horn glowed as she began tossing through the pile of plush. "Where is HER toy?"

Starlight rolled her eyes.

"Trixie, must you be so insecure? You don't see me complaining about it."

"I'm your number one fan!"

Starlight and Trixie both blinked and looked at the Rainbow Dash toy. She squeezed it lightly again and it said, "Let's do a Sonic Rainboom together!"

"It should be bragging about itself to sound like Dash," Trixie muttered as she bent to read a sign. "Ah, so they use magic to record a few phrases which the doll says when it's squeezed?" A smile began to cross her face. She picked up the small gem used to record the speaker. "And you can create your own list of remarks for the doll here at the store?"

Trixie headed off for the cashier, a Twilight Sparkle doll in tow.

"Trixie," Starlight said, "what are you up to?"

"Why, just getting a little surprise ready for Trixie's good friend Twilight Sparkle, of course!" Trixie paid her bits over and headed for the recording booth. "If she does not allow the friend who saved her life, the Great and Powerful Trixie, to amuse foals, then Trixie will have to find her own way to amuse ponies."

She vanished into the booth with an exaggeratedly evil laugh.

Session 44.8 Ardashir

"I was hoping to wait and show this to Twilight first," Trixie said to the rest of the Mane Six, as they looked up at the small stage she'd erected in the Cutie Map room. She was obviously eager, almost skipping as she moved across the stage. She had a small table beside her, and several somethings lay under it covered by a cloth. "But since she is so busy in Canterlot..."

"Hold still, Princess Luna," Twilight said. Half a dozen grimoires from the Princess' own library floated around her. Reading from one titled Perilous Polymorphs For Ponies To Perpetrate, she frowned as she tried to read the very archaic script. "I'm sure I've got it! This time."

Luna, currently in the form of a Diamond Dog that still possessed the, ahem, 'enhanced attributes' of Luna's anthropomorphic form, snarled in anger.

"Luna wants know how Twilight Sparkle ever beat her in first place!" Her ears and tail drooped, leaving Luna looking appropriately hangdog. "Not to mention, get better vocabulary back! Best for Horsecraft game too; only Diamond Wolves as PC race so far!"

"Trixie will be generous and display the results of her little gift-buying expedition to Twilight's sidekicks!" The showpony smiled, looking downright smug.

The ponies before her didn't take it as well.

"Sidekicks?!?" Dash and Applejack both yelled at once. "Th' hay we're 'sidekicks'! Twilight would never say that."

"Ahem! I really have to agree with them, Trixie," Rarity said, giving the other mare a glare. "Twilight never treats us like we were just flunkies!" Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy both nodded as she said, "We're all equals, even with Twilight's alicorn-dom, and..."

"Ta-da!" Trixie whipped the cloth off, and six ponies blinked at what they saw.

"Oh! Oh, my!" Fluttershy fluttered over to look at the six soft plush figures on the table. "Are those - us?"

"Wait, is that me?" Dash flapped over and picked 'herself' up. She failed to notice the smile on Trixie's face. "This is awesome! Hey, ya think we can get figurines made of us for Oubliettes & Ogres so we don't have to try and make some ourselves?"

"Aww!" Pinkie Pie cuddled the plush of herself. "I want to get two of these for Pound and Pumpkin."

As she squeezed it, the plush 'spoke'. "Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! Let's have a party so we can become friends!"

Pinkie squeed with joy and hugged it even tighter. It spoke again. "I'm one of Twilight Sparkle's friends! I helped her beat Nightmare Moon!"

"This seems nice." Rarity warily picked 'hers' up and squeezed it. It began to speak. "Greetings, dear! Let's create a lovely dress..." Rarity began to smile, a smile which went frosty when it said, "And not upstage other ponies again."

"Wha-aa-at?" Rarty's shriek filled the room. She frowned at the toy. "That was only once! Maybe twice!" Dash's laughter filled the room. Rarity glared at her. "I'm glad you find this amusing, Rainbow Dash!"

"Aw, come on," Dash said as she lazily flew around the room, amusement bubbling in her voice. "It's only a toy." She squeezed hers and it said, "I'm Rainbow Dash, and I'm awesome! Not to mention reckless!"

"Huh, they got me there."

"I also nearly destroyed Ponyville twice! Thank gosh for high-powered connections!" Dash stared. She tried again. "I'm Twilight Sparkle's number-one sidekick!" Squeeze. "Never ask why ponies call me 'Rainbow Crash'!"

"Huh? Hey, wait a minute!" Dash bristled and began examining the plush closely. "Who's a sidekick? Rainbow Crash? Yeesh, who made these things?"

"An' why is this the first time we ever heard o' them?" Applejack checked her plush as well. Her face darkened as it said, "Ah'm a silly pony!"

The remaining Element Bearers gathered around Trixie. She smiled and squeezed the Twilight Sparkle plush: "I'm a pretty pony princess! But it took Trixie to save Equestria!" Squeeze. "Trixie is the best! She deserves her own toy!"

"Ah began ta suspect who made them say this," Applejack frowned as Trixie tried and failed to look innocent before she cracked up laughing.

"You can change what they say," Trixie said, before she rolled on the floor laughing. "But why would you want to?"

Session 44.9 Kendell2

"Okay, so we've got PLENTY of disspell disguise potions, right?" Sunset asked, after their party dealt with yet ANOTHER changeling infiltrator trying to trick them. It was quite nerve racking to keep have enemies offer to join their party, only to stab them in the back. Especially when most players were pretty nice about it (with some exceptions). They'd lost their fair number of quests BECAUSE of that.

Sci-Twi nodded. "Yes."

"And we've all got the chat box ready to ask them trick questions a bot wouldn't know?" Sunset asked (unknown to Sunset, Sombra had forbid Chrysalis from having her 'elites' make it IMPOSSIBLE to guess they're a changeling for game play purposes).

"Got that check list right here," the puppy Spike said, holding it up.

"Alright, let's go!"

This particular quest involved raiding a dungeon to capture a powerful Changeling Alchemist as part of a LARGER quest line to track down and defeat the leader of the Changelings. They'd already gotten through a few bosses. This one was thankfully not nearly as brutal as the Reign of Chaos expansion, or maybe it was and they'd gotten USED to the difficulty level. They'd discovered some lore on the Changelings and the Crystal King, but weren't nearly to the end.

There was also apparently a big side quest in the dungeon that would impact things later in the game (some people saying it was needed to access a bonus boss, others that it was to unlock a True Final Boss, others that it was just lore), but given the difficulty, they weren't going to go out of their way to find it, only if they ran into it (they could always come back later at a higher level).

Given their luck, Pinkie Pie ran into it while chasing one of the Changeling infiltrators they'd managed to expose (they'd STILL managed to nearly get trapped by those again).

It wasn't what any of them expected.

It was a simple hermit's shack in the far side of the dungeon.

"...So...shall we?" Rarity asked.

"...We're here, might as well..." Sunset acknowledged.

The group's party approached, revealing a new cutscene.

A cloaked figure emerged from the house and jumped, looking at them. "...Oh...you...you're the heroes trying to stop the Crystal King, correct?" she asked, the humane seven answered yes. "...I see...please come in...I may have some information you want to hear."

The group, against their better judgment, followed the NPC in where she took off her cloak to reveal a grayish heliotrope unicorn with a sparkling crystal coat, her mane light blue. "I am Radiant Hope...the last Crystal Pony...I'm sure you've heard of my people..."

The NPC paused, seeming to give a conflicted pause. "...King Sombra...the Crystal King...I know what he's done and plans to do...but everypony has a story...I CAN'T try to stop you from leaving...but if you'll listen, I may be able to point you in the direction of a greater evil..."

"True final boss?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Or bonus boss...Let's listen..." Sci-Twi said. "...I'm a sucker for lore..."

The group answered yes. A cinematic cutscene began to play.

"Very well...Long ago, the Crystal Empire was ruled by Princess Amore and protected by the magical Crystal Heart...and I was but an orphan there...and one day, a young grey colt joined me...we were both kind of outcasts..."

The cutscene depicted the young Radiant and a young dark gray colt playing games, made from the smoke of the fire burning in the shack.

"...He was my best friend, and we did everything together...almost everything...he was always sick the day of our greatest celebration, the Crystal Fair...And one year, he nearly died until I was able to save him..."

The smoke imagery depicted a sick colt in bed...who began to crack apart until young Radiant healed him.

"...Soon, we saw visions in the Crystal Heart...I saw myself as a Princess...he saw himself as something else...something awful..."

Smoke forms rose off of the two colts, Radiant's forming an Alicorn while the colt's formed a monstrous shape.

"...And he eventually ran off into the frozen north...and came back as something awful..."

The colt's visage turned into the form of the Crystal King, rampaging across the Empire.

"...Sombra came back believing a monster was his destiny...but I don't believe in destiny..." Radiant explained, giving a determined look. "When the Empire and Sombra vanished...I found a way to extend my life until their return so I could defy that horrible fate..."

The mare looked at the screen, the smoke rising into another shape. "Sombra's true nature is one of the Umbrum...a race of monsters born from smoke and shadow who Queen Amore sealed underneath the Empire with the Crystal Heart in a place known as the Shadow Prison. The strongest and leader of them, Rabia, sent her son to infiltrate the Empire to free her and the other Umbrum."

The smoke took on the twisted forms of vaguely equine abominations, the largest raising up and laughing.

"At this very moment, Sombra's forces seek to unearth the Umbrum and free them to once more be a blight upon the land...Heroes...I ask you to show Sombra that fate can change and what his mother MADE him to be is not all he is..."

The cutscene ended and the NPC Radiant stood up. "...Thank you for listening...I'll heal you all and let you be on your way..."

The group stared at the screen in shock.

"...Drama bomb..." Pinkie Pie said.

"Hehe...thanks for including me," the human Radiant Hope said, giving her husband a kiss as they watched the animatic Sombra had made for her.

"No problem, Radiant," the human Sombra replied, giving her a kiss back.

OOC: Note: this Radiant Hope is based on her HUMAN counterpart, who is Sombra's wife and fully aware of what the human Rabia was like. So naturally her game counterpart has different motivations.

Basically, they found the quest line that unlocks a bonus/true final boss dungeon for Rabia Sombra mentioned in an earlier entry.

Session 44.10 Ardashir

"Okay, is everyone ready?" Sunset looked around at her friends, currently ponied up and standing in a circle around their still-transformed principals. Celestia nodded. Luna just tapped one foot, er, hoof impatiently. Just beyond the closed doors they could hear the crowds of CrystalCon, talking about the latest new quests.

"Please hurry, Sunset!" Luna's belly rumbled loudly and she winced. "I think I'm getting hungry for oats."

"I still say we oughta take some pictures," Dash ignored the pinned ears and snorts from Celestia and Luna. She held up her smartphone. "Just so I can stick them on the Internet and have everyone wondering how we made those costumes."

On the phone, pixelated ponies showed, standing before one of the Changeing fortresses for the new campaign.

"What?" Sunset stared in disbelief before she tried to take the phone from Dash. "You were fiddling with the game while I was telling you how we have to do this properly the first time?"

"Yeesh, what?" Dash stepped back from her, holding the phone behind her back. "So I may have missed a few minor points. Hey, I've been trying to get some dirt on these new quests since this morning."

"I'm so glad that restoring us to our proper forms means this much to you, young and still liable to being flunked lady," Celestia's voice was chilly. Dash gulped.

Applejack removed the phone from her hand and set it on the table.

"Amusing as it might be ta put pictures of our ponified principals online, Ah'd say we'd be smarter not ta press our luck."

"I agree," Luna snapped the words out. She gave a single flap of her wings, the feathers rustling as she displayed her irritation. "Or does a certain student athlete want to repeat another year of school?" Dash hurriedly shook her head 'no'.

Sunset nodded and counted off with the fingers of one hand. "One, two, three..."

She and her friends rose into the air, the magic surging through them and seeming almost to react in anger at whatever magic had altered Celestia and Luna. 'Then again', Sunset thought, 'it IS Discord's magic'.

The magic of the Elements gathered, joined, reached out like a living rainbow to cover the two anthropomorphic alicorns before them, and faded to leave their familiar and quite human teachers behind. Sunset saw a small bit of magic seem to vanish out under the door. "Hopefully THAT won't case any trouble.'

"It worked!" Pinkie Pie cheered. She and her friends high-fived each other in victory.

"That was interesting," Celestia examined her reflection in a mirror set against the wall, "but it is NOT an experience I want to repeat!"

"Nor me!" Luna reached around and then checked her forehead. "No horn, no wings, no tail! Thank you, girls!" She embraced Sunset and then the others.

"And you were worried about me not paying attention," Dash smugly set her hands on her hips. "Hah! I didn't even NEED ta listen ta get it right."

Everyone froze as screams suddenly echoed from beyond the windows on the far side of the room, the ones that overlooked the hotel pool.

Fluttershy was closest, and she reached them first. "Oh dear! Uh, everyone, I think you should see this."

'I will not like what I am about to see', Sunset told herself as she reached the window and looked down on what the faded Chaos Magic had wrought.

She didn't either.

Down in the pool a monstrous creature like a three-headed siren splashed and roared as congoers fled -- to a distance, where they began taking photos with their smart phones.

"Best promotion ever!" One yelled.

"This isn't a promotion, you nerd!" The purple siren head yelled at him.

"Hey, girls!" The blue head yelled. "Now we don't have to worry about losing each other ever again!"

"Shut-up, Sonata!"

"Make me, you big jerk!"

As the blue and purple heads snapped at each other, the yellow-orange one glared up at Sunset. She shrieked just one thing: "Fix this! We can't go around looking like King Ghidorah!"

"Okay, Adagio, we will!" Sunset yelled down to her. She and the others headed for the door. On the way, she collared Dash. "And this time get it right, okay?"

Session 44.11 Mtangalion

(Thanks to Kendell2 for the name 'Midnight Heart')

Windy Whisper yawned profusely. The gray thestral slouched in one of the Cutie Map Table's thrones... Twilight's ironically. "I can't believe this ridiculous game actually rated a second edition, and I'm stuck beta-testing it."

Rarity grinned slyly. "I can't believe you're still insisting that Dusklight isn’t your cup of tea, darling. You haven't missed a session yet."

Windy rolled her eyes. "You know those corporate types. Gotta have the 'batpony' perspective. At least I have apples." She pulled a ripe juicy one out of a bag and sank her fangs into it, savoring the sweet juices unapologetically.

Rarity, Cheerilee, Spike, and Big Mac had all seen her ravishing a piece of fruit plenty of times, but Rainbow Dash was looking distinctly uncomfortable while trying to act like she was totally cool with it. Eh, points for trying. "So Rainbow, you got roped into this too? I am so sorry..."

"Now, Miss Whisper," rumbled Big Mac. "Be nice."

Windy found herself blushing quite a bit. She was starting to fear that she'd come to these sessions just to hear Big Mac's voice...

Even if she wasn't secretly “Midnight Heart,” the author of the Dusklight novels, who had to sign off on every edition of the official Dusklight roleplaying game.

Windy sighed.

Miss Cheerilee glared at her mildly before nodding. The war for Big Mac's affection was far from settled, after all. "If Rainbow has broadened her reading material to include supernatural romance, then we should congratulate her! We’re hardly in a position to judge, after all."

"Maybe she's just into it for the cool monster fights," said Spike, giving Rarity a dreamy smile.

Rainbow fidgeted. "Actually, it kinda is something like that! I came up with a new concept for the game, and Princess Luna actually thought it was a good idea." She opened the game box and pulled out a small deck of gray-bordered cards. "So, the second edition of the Dusklight game is gonna have..." She grinned and fanned the cards dramatically. "Monster hunters!"

Spike scratched his head fins. "Huh. So, like, Crystal and Straight Edge will be sneaking around, trying to have their romantic get-togethers without Inspector Hoofsing catching them?"

Cheerilee giggled. "Or Jasper and Daring Do will be madly in love, tragically torn between different worlds..."

Rainbow grinned. "Maybe!"

"Nuh uh, you can't do that!" said Spike. "Daring Do and Dusklight are clearly separate story universes."

"Oh yeah?" retorted Rainbow. "I have a whole stack of Daring Do/Dusklight crossover fanfic that says otherwise!"

"Well, that doesn't prove anything!"

"It doesn't not prove anything!"

Rarity blinked, then gasped loudly. "Darlings! I've just had the most extraordinary thought!"

The others blinked at her, letting the argument trail off.

"Nopony knows who Midnight Heart is... there aren't even official photographs... and she's created an extraordinary and beloved fantasy universe that everypony *believes* is fictional... just like A. K. Yearling." Rarity was practically shivering with excitement. "What if, darlings... what if Midnight Heart is also a biographer... and the world of Dusklight... is real!" She practically squealed the last bit.

Windy wanted to bang her head on the table. "And... she's officially gone over the fangirl event horizon."

"Well, why couldn't nightponies, kirin, and wolfponies be real?" demanded Rarity. "We never would have thought that pandas could be real, or that griffons as big as this castle could be real."

Rainbow winced. "You gotta admit, nightponies are mostly just sparkly knockoff changelings who suck magic instead of love. I'm sure Empress Blackrose would have mentioned something if there was *another* secret changeling court."

"They could just be extremely well hidden! But wolfponies, now..." Rarity grinned. "They could be hiding in plain sight. What if... Diamond Wolves and those impossible reality-bending costumes of theirs are just a cover story... and they were the wolfponies all along!?"

Spike covered his mouth, trying not to laugh. "Oh boy, you're lucky Alisa didn't hear that! She'd probably bite you and say, 'Tell Alisa when Mistress starts growing wolf fur.'"

"Are you kidding?" said Cheerilee. "She'd get all 'maybe we are, maybe we're not!' and troll Rarity even harder."

Rarity thumped her hooves on the table. "I beg your pardon! Alisa is a good friend of mine, not some common troll. She’s just having a little time out in the frozen north at the moment."

Big Mac sighed.

Rarity hmphed. "Well, there's one way to settle the issue of whether Dusklight is fictional or not. I must track down the real Midnight Heart!" She leveled a hoof at Windy Whisper. "And you're going to help me!"

Windy nearly choked on her apple. "Wha... Why me!?"

"Because Princess Luna owns the company that publishes Dusklight, of course. I need a contact in the Night Court." Rarity beamed. "Useful leads... a place to begin investigating! Besides, aren't you the least bit curious about who Midnight Heart really is?"

"No," said Windy. Apple's own truth, there. "Sorry, Rarity, but no. There's no way I'm getting involved in some crazy hunt for creatures who don't exist. Absolutely not. Forget it!"

--- A few hours later...

Windy Whisper trotted out of the castle, stretching after a long and oddly satisfying game session. “Well, goodnight for you, morning for me. See you next time!” She spread her wings to take off.

Rarity blinked. “Wait!” She held a hoof out. “You’re truly not going to help?”

Windy tilted her head quizzically. “Were you expecting some kind of Pinkie Pie thing where I’d say yes after I just got done saying no, and nopony would remember how you talked me into it?”

Rarity blushed. “Well, Pinkie does live here, darling. That sort of thing happens more often than not.”

Windy trotted closer and brushed Rarity’s shoulders with her wings. “Rarity… take it from a thestral, somepony who’s a real daughter of the night, not a make-believe one. That fantastic crazy supernatural romance world… you’re chasing after something that doesn’t exist. Our lives are pretty magical already! I mean, we’re ponies! Be happy with that.”

Rarity watched Windy fly away, then grinned. “If you think I’ll give up that easily, darling, you’ve never seen me at three in the morning with a commission due the next day!”

Session 44.12 Alex Warlorn

"I swear it's like this castle has a sadistic sense of humor," one of the Winter changelings to another. "If I wanted to live inside something that takes pleasure in others' misery my egg would've stayed insider Her Majesty's abdomen!"

"You're exaggerating," the other changeling stepping through a door, that due to a 'freak' gust of wind suddenly slammed his head between the door and the gloomy stone doorframe several times. The settling of the castle stones almost sounded like a dark belly laugh.

"Not one word!"

Meanwhile, "But mommy! I had to go to the little nymph's room really bad, and my bed room door wouldn't open!"

Chrysalis rolled her eyes. "Your 'bedroom' has three walls, just fly out and cycle back next time." Chrysalis stopped in front of the door that was 'stuck'. Chrysalis charged her horn... the door instantly 'came loose.' "And after I blasted a few doors off their hinges, they stopped 'getting stuck' around me."

"But... but would the castle... be doing stuff?"

"This castle was once built by trolls eons ago back when they were an actual threat and a player on the board and not the bigger, stronger, and somehow even more stupid than diamond dogs annoyance they are today. It's saturated with dark magic. The stones practically 'sing' me to sleep though my magic sense each night."

"Is it safe to live here?"

"Oh trust me my defective spawn, it hates Equestrian ponies even more than we do!"

"Shouldn't that be poisonous to us then?"

"Well, its hate isn't directed at us. And we hate Equestrian ponies too... so it likes us."

"Is this why you've been winning all our games of hide and seek?"

"My dearest failure of egg laying, those who don't cheat simply lack imaginations."

Session 44.13 Alex Warlorn

It was time again for Princess Twilight Sparkle to beta test yet another anineigh style mecha battle table top game from her BBBFF and his high school buddies Twilight herself had gamed with a filly (not that she'd let some know that of course).

To keep the insanity down to a minimum, Twilight had chosen Pinkie Pie, who she knew who try every crazy combination that nopony else would think of, and Gilda, who would try to mixmax her way to creating an invincible death machine.

Story conventions like a main character piloting an expendable grunt mecha could survive multiple shots where the rest would explode from being so much as poked with beam saber in the toe, existed as explicit game play mechanics. So dramatic tension, heroic or villainous reveals that hadn't existed before weren't only possible, but part of the game (within limits of course, which was why this was being beta tested).

Twilight Sparkle could appreciate how some tropes in some books she'd read, even in the same genre, could have explosive unbalancing of the game or story if mixed together. On the other hand, her DMing time with the Cutie Mark Crusaders and Button Mash had taught her not to ignore player input. The game wasn't was flexible as as Teenagers from Outerspace (Twilight REALLY wanted to continue that game, leaving it with the party split up and wandering about, made it feel incomplete somehow, but the size of the group had proven problematic). For one, character could actually DIE here, for good! There was tricks for 'miraculously surviving' and 'revealed to have lived after all' but they required a VERY LARGE amount of drama point.

There was an optional rule for making drama point unlimited to the player, but in exchange the DM got just as many to use for themselves that the player used. But Twilight worried this might discourage creativity, though she admitted it would help curb abuse.

"Okay Pinkie Pie, Gilda your mechas have been completed, your training is complete. Your prototypes don't have time for field testing, so you will be sent out into battle right off the assembly line. You arrived at your respective set pieces to find the other, and recognize each other's mecha as bearing the symbols of a faction in opposition to yours."

"Twilight!" Pinkie cheered. "I divert power from weapons and do the Dance of Smiles, which should trigger my energy weapons negation field, no lasers or beam swords should work within the field."

"I get angry over her stupid dance."

"... That's it?"

"Yeah."

"Oh. Okay Gildy! Then I release one of my confetti packs, negating all missiles, and creating pretty sparkling lights, and make sure they spell out a message of not seeking hostilities!"

Pinkie Pie had been reading. Oh dear. "Alright."

"I get angry over her stupid confetti, and I get even angrier than that over her cowardly message!"

"You sure Gilda?" Twilight thought Gilda was overselling it a little.

"Yep. Those idiots had 'quick temper' under 'flaw', so I took that and got extra perks! Ha ha!"

'That says a lot about griffin culture,' Twilight thought.

"I wave at Gilda through the cockpit."

"I get super mad over her stupid waving and not taking this battler seriously! And her cowardly refusing to fight! And I get even more angry that she could make so angry! And that makes me even angrier! And the adrenaline coursing through me REALLY makes mad! I'm gonna trash her stupid robot!"

"Well... good luck," Twilight said, "She's negated energy beams and projectiles, and her mecha has a lot invested in mobility and evasion, your mecha is pretty clunky in comparison."

"Not right now it isn't!" Gilda grinned in a way that would have made her ancient pony eating pre-history feral ancestors proud. Gilda displayed her character sheet. "I took Rage Power Up, the more angry I get the more Badflank stat bonuses I get, and since my mecha can already punch the head off hers to the moon, I'm putting them in speed and accuracy."

"Well, impressive, but-"

"AND! I also took Power Up Rage too! The more Badflank I get, the more angry I am!"

Twilight's eyes widened. "You've created an endless feedback loop."

"Exactly! Normally it would take a while to build it up. But since Pink there wasted that time with her silly stuff, I've had plenty of time to power up, and get more mad from
powering up and get more mad and power up from that! So say Goodbye to your mech Pinkie!" Gilda wrote down an absurdly high bonus on her character sheet from her Badflank pool.

Pinkie Pie's smile never left her face. She didn't so much as twitch. With Pinkie Pie, that could mean anything, from being off in her own world to not being worried. Gilda however felt confident enough and wasn't about to be shaken by Pinkie Pie's 'poker face.' She rolled.

"I use Parody Slip." Pinkie Pie said.

"Say what now?" Gilda blinked.

"Ahem: Parody Slip: Once per day, a pilot of your choice's Badflank Bonuses become penalties for one action of your choice WHEN the action is made and the results have yet to be determined."

Gilda's eyes widened. Gilda looked down at the dice. Then at Pinkie Pie. Then book looked at Princess Twilight. A minute later, Twilight had flipped through the back of the beta version of the game and had found what she was looking for.

"... Okay Gilda... your mecha clumsy slips on a banana truck, the force of your misaimed attack and boast sends your mecha into orbit... where you are land face first on the moon to a loud gong sound that somehow is heard back on Equus. However your mecha didn't have upgrades for space travel, so you're kinda stuck there. Sorry."

"Wow Gilda! You really mooned me!" Pinkie Pie giggled.

-

"Should we stop her?" Spike asked seeing Gilda trying to get her claws on Pinkie Pie, making ancient Griffinstone vows of vengeance on Pinkie's bloodline.

"She'll calm down in a minute... I hope."

Session 44.14 Alex Warlorn

"Wow!" Princess Twilight Sparkle said, sitting in front of a game of Grand Theft Chariot that Button Mash's mother wouldn't let him play but had been saved from the mysterious katana she kept under her bed. "This is like the video game, 'Naughty!' Where you go around taking extra splices of cake before everyone else had one!" She giggled in a rather un-Twilight like way and fluttered her wings. "These wings are funny, I can fly like Star Catcher! I mean Celestia! HEHEH!"

"That past life nonsense again?" Starlight asked rolling her eyes.

"It's not nonsense." Pinkie Pie said hugging Minty/Twilight.

"Seriously Starlight, don't do this, I ended up with a British accent when I called it baloney," Spike warned.

"It's all mental suggestion and trickery, Trixie even showed me how this sort of thing is done. I won't fall for such an obvious scam. Come on Pinkie Pie, revert me to a past life!"

One Past Life reversion later-

"HIIIII BON BON! Let's have cookies later with everyone!" Starlight said her head out the window, waving at the ex-monster hunter. She was also walking on her back legs well enough to make Lyra jealous. And somehow she holding things with her hooves without her horn magic.

"Wow!" Buttons said looking at her from the outside with the other Equalist ~~cultists~~, ponies. "She has a sparkle of hope in her eyes. I haven't seen that since she vowed to free ponies from the tyranny of cutie marks."

Starlight happily skipped to her desk, and worked through a storm of the homework Twilight had given her that had been building up, including the extra credit on how to handle two friends who didn't want to be friends with each other.

Starlight turned to the little purple dragon. "Hey Spike, you got any Clevland Brays? I could use some dancer-cize!" She asked as she put on some leg warmers.

"That sounds like fun!" Twilight/Minty said fluttering over to her. Within minutes they were playing 'Prance Prance Revolution', wearing leg warmers, head bands, and form fitting exercise outfits, dancing on their rear legs (Twilight/Minty with some help from Starlight).

= Starship - We Built This City =

Pinkie Pie dressed up and joined in. For reasons he could not comprehend, Spike found himself joining in a matching outfit.

"Pinkie Pie, snap them out of it!"

"... Later. This song rocks!"

"We build this city... we built this city..."

Session 44.15 Ardashir

"Big Mac, why is Applejack breakin' stuff all over the farm an' making a pig outta herself on th' apples?"

"She said somethin' about proving how Pinkie Pie's 'past life regress-whatever' was all hokum and she was gonna prove it."

Big Mac and Apple Bloom both watched as Applejack, now hatless but wearing a bow on her tail, tried to carry a bucket of apples across the farmyard -- only to slip in a mud puddle and send both apples and herself flying into the pigpen.

The pigs just rolled their eyes.

"Applejack," asked Granny Smith staring at the sight. "Whaddaya got ta say fer yourself?"

"Heh! Ah'm a silly pony!"

Session 44.16 Mtangalion

Gilda peered down at the snowy streets from her second story window, scowling. "Huh. It's like griffons conquered Canterlot, and then they got super-lame." Everygriffon she saw was dressed in old-timey clothes, and even she was wearing a purple coat with ruffles and lace, and a little pair of spectacles. "What kind of enchanted comic is this, anyway?"

A group of griffons padded across the street, squawking cheerful carols horribly out of tune, real claws-on-chalkboard stuff. Another griffon kept leering at passers-by and ringing a little bell incessantly, until the other griffons donated their bits to make him go away. "Obviously, it's Hearth's Warming season. I get that... but I've been here five minutes already and I haven't been attacked by templars or anything." She leaned out the window and shouted, "Hey, is there a narrator in the house? Can I get some action going here?!"

Eerie mists began to swirl in Gilda's room, cheering her up immensely. "That's more like it! Where's my ghost-fighting kit?"

The mists formed into a floating spirit that strongly resembled Grampa Gruff. "Snowfall Frost!"

Gilda blinked. "Who?"

The spirit of Hearth's Warming Past twitched his shaggy eyebrows. "That's you, genius. Ahem-hem! Snowfall Frost, you've become a bitter griffon who doesn't like Hearth's Warming one bit! Why don't I tell you all about how you got this way? In the spirit of the holidays, I won't even charge ya!"

"Do we have to?" groused Gilda, rolling her eyes. "I hate it when games make you watch a bunch of story crap for twenty minutes before you get to do anything."

"Ungrateful!" Grampa Gruff shook a clawed fist at her. "You'll take your flashback and like it!"

The comic book's pages turned, switching the scene to an even older-timey classroom, where a fledgling Gilda was struggling to... levitate a piece of chalk? With magic!? ... while a black vulture-like griffon supervised her, scowling.

A very young Gabby stood just inside the doorway, talons clasped hopefully. "Please, Snowfall, won't you come to our Hearth's Warming party?" Her eyes got big and watery. "We miss playing with you!"

The black griffon sneered at her. "If you ever want to have real power, you must choose to forget frivolous distractions and study!" A fireball exploded into existence, hovering over his outstretched claws.

Little Snowfall's eyes lit up. "Gee, let me think. Some lame party, or magical powers... Gimme the power, duh!"

The enchanted pages flipped back to the present. "Wait, wait wait..." said Gilda. "In this comic, I'm a wizard!?"

Spirit Gruff would have face-planted, if he wasn't floating. "Is that all you got out of that?!"

Gilda grinned devilishly. “Are you kidding? Do you know how bucking rare griffon wizards are?” She waved glowing claws, and a whole stack of books floated off their shelves, assembling themselves into a book fort. “Hah!” She spun and glared at a snowglobe, poofing it into an apple, then a live flopping fish, and then a pile of golden bits and jewels after that. “Yesss!”

Gilda flapped over to the big spellbook that stood conveniently open, next to a bubbling cauldron. “Let’s see what else I can do…” Her beak fell open so hard, she nearly lost her spectacles. “A spell to erase Hearth’s Warming from existence?! I can do that?!”

“Be warned!” said Grampa Griff ominously. “If you continue on this dark course…”

“I mean, how does that even work?” mused Gilda, totally ignoring him as she paced around the room. “Does it warp time and space and literally erase the day? Maybe it erases everyone’s memories and makes them forget there’s a thing like Hearth’s Warming. Either way, if the comic’s own logic says I can pull a stunt like that…” Her voice started to change and distort, magically louder and deeper. “What CAN’T I do? Mwahahaha!”

Outside, carollers and shoppers stopped in their tracks, glancing around. A nearby townhouse was groaning and shifting on its foundation. Sounds of cracking stone and snapping wood planks came from the windows, as if it was being demolished from the inside-out. Then the whole structure blew up, roof flying off and walls falling away, as Gilda tossed her head and shook her wings out, standing up three stories tall. The roar she let loose at her new size was just icing on the Hearth’s Warming cake

Gilda flicked her claws casually, beaming down at all the petrified little griffons in the streets. “Heh, never gets old.”

A shiny swirl of magic distracted Gilda before she could decide what to do next. Another ghost appeared… this time it was Greta, scarf and all.

“Snowfall Frost!” Greta declared. “I am the Spirit of…” She realized that she was addressing Gilda’s left front foot. “Oh, excuse me!” She flew upwards, hovering in front of Gilda’s beak. “I am the Spirit of Hearth’s Warming Present. While you scheme to put an end to Hearth’s Warming, so little understanding the spirit of…” She trailed off, blinking.

Gilda grinned broadly back at her.

Greta pulled a sheaf of paper from somewhere and started flipping through the pages. “We’ve gone really off script, haven’t we?”

Gilda shifted a paw and lazily crushed a newsstand beneath her toes. “Heh, maybe...”

Greta laughed nervously. “You know, others are not so fortunate as you this holiday season, Snowfall Frost!”

“You got that right!”

The spirit glared at her. “Come, let me show you how your faithful clerk Snowdash is spending her Hearth’s Warming.”

Gilda tapped her chin with a claw. “Oh, no need for the magical guided tour! I can see her house from here.”

Greta smile grew forced, twitching mildly. “Is… is that so?”

“Considering how griffons have such good eyes. Plus, I’m really, really, REALLY big.” She flexed and dug her claws into the street, dislodging chunks of cobblestone. “Huh, so that’s Dash as a griffon. Neat…” She frowned sharply. “Huh? No Hearth’s Warning dinner or presents? Don’t I… I mean, doesn’t Snowfall Frost pay her better than that?”

Greta recovered some of her composure. “No, Snowfall Frost, for you have been a hard griffon with a heart of stone, and…”

“Hey, don’t you go guilting me for the backstory,” snapped Gilda. She pondered some more, making people and objects bounce all up and down the street by tapping her foot. “Well, no problem! Why should they be down and out when I have all these magical powers?”

Gilda snapped her talons, and instantly across town, Snowdash’s table groaned beneath the weight of a seven course holiday dinner. “Yeah, that’s the stuff.” Another snap, and Snowdash’s brother, Little Pip, threw away his crutches and danced around their house. “In fact,” she shouted, “here’s some Hearth’s Warming Cheer for everygriffon, on me!” Delicious dinners and shiny wrapped presents started appearing all over Canterlot, and there was even a ghostly plate of griffon scones just for Greta.

Soon, the carollers were singing her praises, and griffons were crowding the streets to come thank her. Gilda soaked up the adoration like a dragon drunk on greed and grew even bigger, smashing into the buildings on either side. By a happy coincidence, they were both condemned former law firms, so nogriffon minded this very much.

But then, the third and final spirit materialized, none other than Princess Luna, pulling off the griffon look very well, Gilda thought. “We are the Spirit of Hearth’s Warming Yet to Come! Behold, the terrible future that will come to pass if you do not… change your ways?” The other two spirits appeared next to her, waving script pages, and a small argument broke out.

Gilda coughed thunderously. “Yeah, about that. So, uh… I HAVE changed my ways, and I’m totally down with Hearth’s Warming now! Astra bless us every one and all that!” She grinned and gave the spirits a double thumb-claws up, and a giant “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED” banner unfurled behind her in a flash of magic.

Once those pesky spirits were finally out of the way, Gilda stood tall, overshadowing several city blocks just by spreading her wings. “Let’s go find some more towns I can conquer… I mean, win over with Hearth’s Warming cheer!”

--

“Seriously, Twilight?” asked Rainbow Dash. “You let Gilda go into an enchanted comic book by herself?” She started snickering.

Princess Twilight frowned. “Well, it’s the first one I’ve written on my own, and I needed someone to beta test, and you were all busy… why, what’s wrong with Gilda testing it?”

The enchanted comic book in question started magically pulsing as Gilda’s voice echoed from it. “Hey, Princess, don’t mind me, but I’m adding fifteen or twenty more chapters. I need more time to take over the North Pole so I can rule Hearth's Warming forever. Heck, let’s make it a graphic novel series…”

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 44.0 Ardashir
Session 44.1 MagicMan001 with Alex Warlorn
Session 44.2 Mtangalion and Ardashir with Alex Warlorn
Session 44.3 Mtangalion
Session 44.4 Alex Warlorn and Mtangalion
Session 44.5 Ardashir
Session 44.6 Ardashir
Session 44.7 Ardashir
Session 44.8 Ardashir
Session 44.9 Kendell2
Session 44.10 Ardashir
Session 44.11 Mtangalion
Session 44.12 Alex Warlorn
Session 44.13 Alex Warlorn
Session 44.14 Alex Warlorn
Session 44.15 Ardashir
Session 44.16 Mtangalion

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Cover art by harwicks-art
http://harwicks-art.deviantart.com/art/Betting-on-a-Pair-of-Wild-Jacks-646610277

Session 45

Session 45.0 Ardashir

Filthy Rich awoke to a pounding headache. He winced at the sight of Celestia's sunlight coming in through the windows. He tried to focus his thoughts. Last night he'd played the usual pre-Hearth's Warming poker game with Big Mac and a few of the other stallions in Ponyville. This time to everyone's surprise they'd had a guest sit in, Princess Twilight's older brother Prince Shining Armor. His presence lead to Big Macintosh breaking out a bottle of twelve-year-old hard cider, everypony got to toasting each other's good luck, and...

Another jolt of agony lanced Filthy's brain.

'Ugh. Never again!' He got up, looked around the bedroom blearily, and froze.

Everything was precisely where it should be. The bed had been made, the sheets folded up over him, and most heart-stopping of all, a note lay on the table.

Filthy picked it up, his heart in his throat, and read it in disbelief.

'Dearest Darling, I'll be going out for a few hours. I need to get a SPECIAL Hearth's Warming Gift for my dearest husband. I helped Randolph and Shiny Star make a lovely breakfast for your downstairs.

Until later, your delighted wife, Spoiled Rich.'

"Oh, Celestia and Luna," Filthy moaned. "What did I do now?" He barely remembered last night. They'd done all the things drunken stallions did --- sang together, commiserated about their wives and female relatives (well, that was mostly Filthy) and...

He swallowed to remember something about a mare pulling at his clothes while he yelled something at her. 'Oh, no! Was it Lipstick Vanity? Sweetcream Scoops? Or somepony else?' If, no, make that WHEN his wife found out -- Filthy would never, in a thousand years, have cheated on his wife when sober. But when drunk? He shivered to remember Spoiled telling him on their wedding night: "You're my husband now, and you have certain rights over me. But if you ever hit me or DARE to cheat on me, I'll wait until you fall asleep, tie you down, and beat you with a horsewhip until you can't even crawl."

Filthy carefully made his way downstairs. He saw that there was a nasty spot on the carpet that'd been cleaned up. He froze and wondered how much of a mess he'd made; he only got blasted once a year, but Spoiled never missed a chance to tell him how "common" it was to "go and get whinnying drunk with a bunch of farmers!"

He heard noises from the kitchen. It sounded like his little princess was already up, and by the smell all his favorite foods were there. He gulped and wondered if Spoiled was waiting behind the door with a rolling pin or maybe just a horsewhip.

Swallowing, Filthy opened the door and saw Diamond at the table, eating her oats, mixed with honey and raisins. Fresh fruit was on the table, a large glass of orange juice sat before his chair, and he could smell the pleasantly strong smell of fresh coffee.

Spoiled had never done anything like this before. Filthy felt his blood run cold. 'Poison in the oats? No, she'd never do anything to Diamond. Not like that, anyway.'

"Daddy!" Filthy scooped up his little princess as she galloped into his embrace with a whinny. He hugged her tight as she said, "You should have seen Mom this morning, she was so happy. She walked out singing." Diamond wrinkled up her nose. "You smell funny."

"She did?" Filthy couldn't contain himself any more. "Uh, dear, did Mommy say WHY she was so happy?"

"Well," Diamond scratched her forehead with one hoof. "I heard her talking to the maid Shiny Star about last night. Se said you came home singing something about a pony called Eskimo Nell, that you collapsed in the hallway, you threw up on the floor..."

"And?" Filthy asked dreading the answer.

"And then you made her the happiest mare in Equestria."

"I did?" Filthy bent down to look his daughter in the eyes. "How?"

"Beats me," Diamond shrugged. "She said she was taking your dirty old clothes off, when you shoved her back and yelled, 'Get lost, you floozy -- I love my wife and I'm a happily married stallion!'"

Session 45.1 Kendell2

(Idea I came up with I think Alex and everyone will probably have a lot of fun with: )

"Alright, class, it's time for social studies," Cheerilee called to her class as they returned from recess.

The class settled down in their seats...then cringed as Cheerilee produced another Enchanted Comic.

"Are we gonna fight a pony trying to change all the history books this time?" Diamond Tiara quiped, remembering LAST time.

Cheerilee smiled. "No, my little ponies, I think you'll enjoy this one a bit better."

One comic book magical vortex later, the group found themselves in a white void lined with statues of various species.

"Uh...Miss Cheerilee, I think the comic is broken..." Snails pointed out.

"No, this is just the...class select screen so to speak," Cheerilee explained, giving a smile. "Imagine this is an 'educational RPG' I worked with Princess Twilight to make. The plot of this comic is a group of evil doers are going back in time to try and mess up history and we have to go back and stop them or set things back to how they should be. Learning about history and the cultures of the various species along the way. We'll be doing this as a project for several classes."

"...Do we get to fight bad guys?" Scootaloo asked.

"Yes, you do," Cheerilee pointed out. "Though there's no actual danger."

"And we can be ANY of these things?" Silver asked. Cheerilee nodded.

Diamond gave a suspicious look. "What's the catch? This is too fun."

Cheerilee chuckled. "Simple: we're learning about other counties and their people, so each class, courtesy of psychologists from each species, comes with the natural instincts and mentality of that species. So you get to 'walk in their shoes' so to speak."

"That doesn't sound so bad..." Diamond Tiara replied, but still looked suspicious.

"Speaking of which..." Cheerilee said, trotting over to the dragon statue and pressing a crystal in the center of it's pedestal. The teacher glowed and suddenly emerged as a fully grown dragoness. "Alright, your turn, my little ponies, " she said, being careful. She mainly chose this so that no matter WHAT the foals chose, she still had that sense of authority that kids would listen to a teacher needed. After all, even if all of them selected a dragon, SHE was an adult dragoness. Of course, being she was the one who HAD to keep her head, she'd gone in with Dragon Lord Ember, Miss Mina, and Princess Twilight to get a hold on the instincts. Mostly...she still found herself desiring Big Macintosh for herself and to buy the area around her house to increase her garden.

Ember had recommended disciplining any of them that became unruly dragons by sitting on them to show dominance. Cheerilee wasn't certain she'd do that. Mina suggested some dragon breath would be good for disciplining the others who weren't. Not the fire breath, her actual breath. Was that idea embarrassing? It might have just been the fact she was a dragon, but she didn't feel so. After all, if other species didn't enjoy the smell of concentrated Sulfur and other things, that wasn't her problem.

"...I call Minotaur!" Snips called, instantly running over and touching the minotaur statue, turning into small (comparably, which still meant about as tall as an adult stallion). "Oh yeah! Look at Snips now!" he exclaimed, flexing in the most manly way possible.

"...Alright, who's next?" Cheerilee asked, giving an amused chuckle.

OOC: Basically, the entire idea is some world building plus Cheerilee's class having to 'walk a mile in' the shoes of whatever species they choose. IE, having to deal with griffon's tempers and dragon's greed, ect. That's the educational aspect along with the history and stuff.

I imagine Minotaurs have Large Ham written into their DNA.

The villains are meant to be more comical than 'I'm a big bad super villain', but some might be more serious than others. I imagine one being a Carman Sandigo expy.

That said, Cheerilee DOES still have the dragon instincts, she's just got control of them.

Session 45.2 Ardashir

(OOC:I like the idea of Cheery as a dragon.)

"Ooh! I call griffon!" Silver Spoon raced over to the griffon statue. A moment later, a griffon with silvery-gray feathers and fur stood before her classmates.

"Hah! This is great!" She flapped up into the air, looped, and dropped down before Diamond Tiara.

"Since when did you want to be a griffon?" Diamond asked, looking confused. "You get sick when you look down from a second-story window!"

Diamond gave a yell as Silver pinched her nose.

"Watch it, ya dweeb pony -- eep! Sorry!" Silver shook herself as Diamond gave her a glare, rubbing her nose. Silver laughed. "Ha! I'm NOT sorry! I have wings and I can finally say all the stuff that Little Miss Proper Pony couldn't! Well, most things," she hurriedly said as a shadow loomed over her.

"Watch your manners, young lady," Cheerilee rumbled out, allowing a hint of sulfurous breath to escape. Silver Griffon looked a trifle green and nodded.

She wheeled to look at Diamond Tiara and snapped her talons with delight.

"Well, what are ya waiting for, Diamond! Come on! Choose something!"

Behind her, Snips the Minotaur flexed his newfound muscles and roared, "Yeah! The Snips does not want to spend all day waiting for everypony to make their choice, when the Snips has bad guys to stop!"

Session 45.3 Kendell2

Diamond Tiara looked around the statues, trying to find something that caught her fancy. Sadly, there was no Alicorn. The Changelings looked pretty in their new forms, but she wasn't a fan of bugs.

She came to a majestic looking fox with nine beautiful tails. "Oooh...I want to be this thing!" she said with a smile and touched it.

In a flash, a pink kitsune stood in her place and she smirked, then looked back at her majestic...tail?! "Hey! Where are the other ones!"

"That's a Kitsune, Diamond," Cheerilee explained. "They're a race from Neighpon. They grow tails as they grow up, little ones only have one tail."

"Aww..."

Silver Spoon laughed at her. "Sorry! Looks like you're stuck with one tiny tail!"

Diamond got a mischievous look. "Yeah, but at least it's not the most disgusting shade of green I can think of..." she said, her tail lifting and a pink flame flickering at the end.

"Huh?" she asked, looking back to find her lion tail was now indeed a disgusting shade of green. "HEY!"

Diamond Tiara fell on her back laughing and holding her stomach.

Scootaloo raised an eyebrow. "...This is weird."

"...Kitsunes have a mischievous streak and mile long..." Cheerilee replied, giving a sigh and assuming this would eventually give her a headache. She gave the two a small growl to get them in line. "Alright, who's next?"

Rumble trotted over to a Bat Pony statue and touched it turning into one...and yawned a bit, looking a little sleepy.

Session 45.4 Kendell2

Snails trotted over to a statue of a llama and pressed it, turning into an orange...what did you call a young llama? He looked...not all that different except for wanting to meditate. Which he did while waiting for the others.

Sweetie Belle tapped her chin and looked around at the statues...and ultimately chose a purified Changeling. She turned into a pretty white Changeling with pink wing casings and a pink tail. "...I can taste all of you..."

Scootaloo blinked. "What do we taste like?"

"...Love..."

"What's love taste like?"

"...Kinda sweet! Like cotton candy!...Though Diamond kinda tastes like narcissism...just a little bit...Narcissism tastes sour..."

Applebloom made her choice and picked a Zebra. Emerging from the light, she was a zebra filly with traditional attire. Her Cutie Mark was now rendered in the style of Zebra Cutie Marks. "Ah don't think this will be like riding a bike, but Ah wanted tah see what bein' like Zecora felt like," she said. The rhyming did seem EASIER, but it wasn't instinct. She just thought that was what she should talk like from Zecora.

"Alright, who's next?" Cheerilee asked, smiling.

"Miss Cheerilee?" asked Rumble, giving a small yawn.

"Yes, Rumble?"

"...Snails is floating..." the bat pony colt said, pointing to Snails, who was still in a meditating post, but now floating about a foot off the ground.

"...Llamas are known for using magic by meditating but...Snails, how are you doing that?"

Snails blinked, only now noticing he was floating. "...I don't know..."

Session 45.5 QuartzScale

"15-Love!"

Chrysalis, vice president of Crystalsoft, had been dominating the court with one of the few friends she had actually given a damn to keep. Though it was satisfying to keep being so dominant in court. Her back swing was the deadliest it had ever been in ages. Radiant though was no slouch. She had countered her every single time keeping victory from her everytime.

"I must admit you have been getting better Hope. Guess our matches have been teaching you a lot more than I thought!" Chrysalis smirked as the ball bounced against the floor.

"What can I say? Viciousness is needed whenever we get on the court!" Radiant called out while her stance got low.

The ball stopped it's bounce gripped firmly in her hand. A light toss up and the ball was released. At it's apex Chrysalis readied her racket. The swing sent the ball into a curve forcing Radiant to dive in the attempt to hit it. The dive wasn't enough and the ball still hit within the line.

With a resigned sigh she picked herself up off the ground and dusted off her skirt. This wasn't her day and the loss didn't help. Walking over she quickly sat on the bench while Chrysalis sauntered over with the same confident sway she usually had.

"Good game. You're getting better but you're still a long way from beating me." The smirk stayed but the time they had hung out had gotten them better acquainted with all the quirks that usually messed with their fun.

"Yeah... I guess it's been awhile since I've been able to give a good game huh?" Hope looked off towards the sky a bit more down than usual.

"Let me guess another lousy date?" She was blunt about it but when Hope had winced she knew that she was right.

"Y-yeah... he was kind of a jerk. Luckily I found that out on the first date. Still he wasn't someone I should have given the time of day. How about you how was the date?" Hope knew who she was dating... the guy was her childhood friend but... she had kept them apart...the horrible witch. Chrysalis was the only one who had been... accepted by her. That burned her heart and boiled her blood but they were still friends.

"Well... it was fine I guess. I just don't feel anything for him. He's got some power behind him in that company but Rabia... she's... something different altogether. We're probably not going to stick with it at this point. Still I think he's got an idea now and we're going to be working with this other guy to make something that would restore the company's name. I still don't know what it is yet, but Sombra has said it would change us for the better." Chrysalis sighed she was still thinking back to that last game... Everfree Massacre. To say that the parents were appalled was just the tip of the iceberg.

"I see. How did he take it?" Hope looked up slightly more interested than usual.

"Fine actually. I think he is tired of following her orders. What did you want to set up another meeting or something? I thought you said that he didn't remember you?" Chrysalis chuckled slightly. Once again another quirk that Hope had gotten used to.

"I'm sure he would remember me the moment that he sees me. I'm sure of it... " Her voice turned convincing herself more than Chrysalis.

"Fine fine... whatever you say. I'll tell him something later about dinner at this place but you better show up. I don't want you to do another ‘I gotta wash my hair' bullshit. That guy was hard to even meet with even if he turned out to be such a waste of time." Chrysalis rubbed her head remembering the migraine she had that day.

"I know. But he was Trenderhoof. He was so damn arrogant and that was not the best idea for a date. Seriously a photo shoot to promote himself." Hope scoffed at the idea of ever meeting him ever again.

"I noticed. Remember he handed me a head shot of that smug mug of his. I couldn't shred it any faster if I tried. Anyways it's this chinese place near the school you know the one right? Canterlot High School. Be there tomorrow. I'm not going to be sticking my neck out for you anymore if you mess this one up." Chrysalis got up off the bench and started to walk away.

"Chrysi? Why are you doing this?" Hope just looked on utterly confused by what was going on.

"Because I'm looking out for the company and if the boss is happy then it makes my job easier in the long run." It was a succinct and blunt answer. It was one that didn't fade away her suspicions but she couldn't call her out on it without proof. Chrysalis was one of the better employees of CrystalSoft and had plenty of experience with twisting her words to fit her needs.

"Is that it?" Hope stared her down trying desperately to find any tell but her poker face was better than ever. It was one of the reasons that they never gambled anymore. Any game where it was down to the two of them ended with her losing way too much money.

"Yup," Chrysalis walked away looking down at her cell phone. While she didn't really want to even attempt this farce Hope had earned at least one favor... only one.

Sombra had been quite the catch and if she managed to talk him into staying it would be easy street. Rabia changed that the moment they met. The twisted way she used her to get Sombra to follow her beck and call actually managed to get her to feel something she thought she had lost so long ago. Guilt. A quick text went out with their mutual break up discussion. While they had done so a while back they still needed to speak to each other. The sad truth of working in the same office. With the plan in motion and the time set another text reached Hope who had gone to get her bag with the time being a bit earlier.

The next evening...

Sombra had gotten dressed up managing to get away from the overbearing nature of his mother. Chrysalis and Discord had actually made a meeting with Rabia for that evening giving him the chance to actually leave early for once.

‘Damn Chrysalis why the hell did I need to meet with a new backer tonight. Hopefully I don't mess this one up. I'd rather not lose another contract. Mother already has been pushing for those coin guzzlers.' A growl emanated from him startling the hostess. After a quick apology he was shown to the table. The other occupant was busy in the bathroom and would return shortly.

‘Okay Sombra remember you tell them what they want to hear and nothing more. You don't want to have to tell another client the sticky details like last time. Fancy Pants had hated that his contributions had gone towards Everfree Massacre.' The infamy the game had garnered had thrown a lot controversy at the company. A lot of legal fees as well. It would take a miracle to even get his game off the ground.

‘Just one more week. You have enough evidence Sombra. Just one more week and we could put this nightmare behind you. Maybe then you'll find someo-' His thought was crossed out when someone had appeared to be walking towards his table. Her hair was done just like when she had been young but the long flowing purple dress she wore confirmed that she was the picture of a perfect woman in his eyes. She was beautiful. She was amazing. She was the the one woman he had hoped to find for so long before mother had gone off the deep end and turned into the sadistic monster on the outside as she was on the inside.

"Hello Sombra..." The demure smile on her face lifted his spirits immediately. He stood up and without warning embraced her.

To say the hug was unexpected was the least of her worries. To be remembered instantly had soared beyond all expectations. She embraced back tears of joy streaming down her face.

"I'm glad you remember me."

"I would never forget you."

The following week...

Rabia had been convicted thanks to the testimony given by Sombra. Being the only one to know a thing or two about the company Rabia had already left him as the successor when she retired though with her now in jail she couldn't change that directive anymore. She enjoyed how vicious her own son had been and called him her little monster while she was taken away but her tone was one of sheer joy and elation. Both Discord and Chrysalis had been present at the trial but even that act had driven their blood cold.

Hope had also been there. And while the glare she had gotten from Rabia terrified her she still found enough spine to stand near Sombra and kiss him in full defiance of Rabia. Needless to say she didn't go quietly after that and the officer who had been knocked out pressed charges against Rabia extending her sentence even further.

"Well you two... I guess I'm in charge now. Feel like following me to a better future now that she's gone." For the first time in ages Sombra gave a genuine smile while holding onto Hope.

"You kidding me. The trolling done today has really inspired me. So long as you give me a bit of leeway for some fun I'll stay on for a good long while." Discord was laughing vigorously. The freedom he yearned for was well within his grasp.

"So long as you don't go too far we'll talk out the terms later."
Discord, of course, took the deal before he knew what was going to be in the works.It was random enough and make a killer story for later on. Chrysalis smirked before speaking up.

"I'm going to be the VP right?" The tone she took was anything other than humble.

"Yeah yeah so long as you remember to show me some respect from now on." Sombra quietly rolled his eyes though his jovial mood was still in full swing.

"Fine. Maybe you deserve a little." Chrysalis snarked back while the four walked out of the courthouse.

"So what's the idea then mon capitan." Discord mock saluted when they reached their cars.

"Well we need to regain public opinion and I think Hope had a good idea for that. Go ahead dear." Sombra motioned for her to speak.

"It's nothing big just a simple idea. Sombra wanted to make an MMO but there were a lot on the market right now. So something needs to be used to make it stand out. When I was younger I used to have these imaginary adventures where I fought alongside ponies. There were pegasus ponies, unicorns, and earth ponies. They worked together in this magical land called Equestria. It was something I came up when I was a little girl but I always made it cooler than it should be since they fought against the very forces of nature and beings made of darkness and magic." Hope looked down a little bashful at sharing something so silly.

"Really?" Chrysalis arched her eye a little uncertain of the idea.

"Now there's an idea... This could work out great for us but we need to give it some sign of being different. I think I could work out some really quick ideas out so long as I get a team together for the concepts behind this. I also have a good idea how to make it more appealing even to the guys... heh heh heh this will be oh so delicious." Discord rubbed his hands together startling Chrysalis a bit.

"Save that for the design room buddy. If you three think it would work I'll get the PR to start getting more things together. It'll take a year for all the preliminary assets though. Remember the courts aren't cheap." The accounting department was still reeling from just how badly Rabia had driven the boat for all of them. Even then there were still pockets of loyalty for Rabia within the company making it even harder to keep her influence out of the rest of the departments.

"I know but I think Hope is onto something and this will make our name grow back into a positive light and we all know that we need that... almost desperately. Still this will be our make or break and we'll bank everything on this. Besides at this point we have nothing to lose." Sombra pointed out as he and Hope got into the front seats of the company car.

"Yeah we got it bossman. Let's just go get some food and hash out the details. I'm pretty sure we could get all this done quicker if we get a few more details. Ms Hope would you be so kind as to regail us with the tales of whimsy." Discord bowed quite elegantly as he and Chrysalis entered the back seat.

They drove off to the same chinese restaurant where Sombra had his reunion with Hope and soon hashed out the details. World of Hoofcraft would soon be the most sought after game in the entire world.

After the release of Wrath of the Crystal king...

Radiant Hope, now the loving wife of Sombra, stood next to her husband watching the same video he had just shown her. Without word she quietly sat on her husband's lap and pulled out a small photo of the four of them at that same restaurant. Discord hung off Sombra's shoulder while Chrysalis held onto Hope's arm while they made a toast to their new flagship.

"You know I think back a lot to that day." Hope whispered into Sombra's ear.

"What do you think of when you remember back then?" Sombra craned his eyes to look into hers.

"Just how lucky I am that I managed to meet with you again. And while I'm reluctant to admit it I guess we should say thank you to Rabia at some point." Hope had nearly scoffed at her own ideas.

"Really? In what way? She kept us apart for so long just because she wanted to see you suffer... That hardly seems worth a thank you." Sombra, truthfully, wanted nothing to do with her at this point. Still, she was his mother, for better or for worse.

"Think of it like this. Since she kept us apart for so long that just made our hearts yearn stronger. She could try so hard but in the end she failed at keeping us apart. No destiny or hatred would ever stop me and nothing ever will again." Hope nodded quite confidently as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"You got that right. I'm thinking we make this a short evening tonight and head out for dinner. Our special place just the two of us." Sombra wrapped his arms around her and held her tight against his chest.

With a kiss they sealed the date letting their hands intertwine. The rings they had matched each other perfectly. One made of pure obsidian with a white diamond in the center on his ring finger. The other made of white diamond with obsidian in it's center on hers. Finally their story could continue.

Session 45.6 Alex Warlorn

"Hi Sombra!"

"... Hello Ira," Sombra groaned.

"That any way to greet your sister?" She smiled.

"I've... been stressed." He said, which was technically true.

"Remember to relax Sombra... the job was stressful for mom... she worked so hard to give the market what they wanted, and we got wailed on instead." Ira said like she was lamenting the death of an innocent puppy. "And those stuck-up, arrogant, loud mouthes like that Maternity Love-Tap driving mom to violence! And then turning around acting like they were the victims. Mom understands why you did what you did Sombra, you had to pander to those air headed soccer moms with too much time on their hands, for the good of company."

Sombra kept his mouth shut. Once his sister got going, it was better to just smile and nod.

"So... how goes the legal battle?"

"The lawyers are still trying to prove that guard PROVOKED mom. But people are being pig-headed and stubborn, you know how it is."

It was literally like she couldn't hear him whenever Sombra said it was him and Radiant Hope kissing that had 'provoked' their mother.

She had a parasol with her constantly: his sister and mother were sensitive to direct sunlight (the vampire jokes had been done to death).

He could fire Kabuto, but not his sister: not out of family, but because she still held a small percentage of the company. Nominally, she was in charge of the company's original 'niche market' projects their mother had pandered to, though she had no funding, virtually no staff, and no advertisement. Yet she was still a busy little bee. She'd gotten a kiosk sized booth for her own projects in a corner far away from him.

His sister LOOKED graceful and jovial, but there was talk among the staff that butterflies burst into flames in her presence (not true, it was a perfect metaphor in Company President Sombra's opinion). She was her mother's child.

Ira wasn't insane, her point of view was simply not shared by many.

Ira's game designs were much like her mother's. Sadly, one of her projects was looking ghoulishly popular online, called 'Crazy Teacher's Garden Simulator' where an insane teacher sought to raise the GPA of the school by helping the students get better grades, and if at the player's leisure, brutally murdering poor grades students in various creative and gruesome ways, and not get caught. You got a higher score and more experience points by it being an ironic and 'poetic' form of death related to the subject the victim failed in.

"And you have to dump the bloody uniform not to be noticed."

"Won't they notice if you're going around in your underwear?"

"It's still in beta."

That she'd used Canterlot High as the game world map ... Sombra couldn't really call her out on that one, given his own (and Chrysalis, and Discord's and pretty much the entire company employees) lax attitude in that regard.

If she got enough crowd funding, she planned to add a romantic subplot where you knocked off teachers who had the hots for a teacher you secretly liked. Sombra shuddered. He considered giving Ira her own private shell company just so it wouldn't destroy the image he and the others had carefully built up.

Session 45.7 QuartzScale

It was late that night and the moon was finally rising in the sky. Derpy was sitting in her kitchen with Lyra and Bon Bon. It had been a while since the three of them could talk and with Doctor Hooves out of town for some reason which he didn’t talk about while Vinyl and Octavia were busy performing in Canterlot. There on the table was one muffin left. Blueberry in flavor and oh so tantalizing but the horror soon dawned upon Derpy. She was full! A catastrophe of epic proportions to be sure but such was the siren call of those delectable delicacies known as muffins.

"Who would like the last muffin?" Derpy sung out.

"ME!" screamed out two mares who instantly scowled at the other.

It was at this moment something changed within the household. What had been a simple kitchen turned into a large courtroom with Derpy sitting up at the judge’s table holding a large gavel with a muffin shaped head. Lyra stood on her right wearing a fancy red suit and looked overly smug in her step.

On the other side was Bon Bon wearing a blue suit and red tie with a determined look on her face as she gazed eagle eyed on her opponent.

"Opening statements if you please?" Derpy pointed the hammer towards Lyra first.

"Ladies and Gentlecolts of the courtroom it is my pleasure to tell you that as a unicorn there are times where magical energy is expended and requires me to eat a bit more than usual and while I don’t expect all present to fully agree with my viewpoint that muffin requires a new home… within my belly." Lyra tapped her hoof against her head.

"Defendant?"

"Unlike my opponent over there I do require sustenance of large portions especially due to cooking up a lot of the hearth warming eve treats that will be selling in conjunction with Sugarcube Corners delicacies. Now I may be a simple mare with a simple goal but food is necessary to back and if fed I can back more for the festivities that are nigh upon us." Bon Bon finished her statement while Derpy started to form her opinions.

"OBJECTION!"

"This mare needs no more sweets. Exhibit A." Lyra lifted a picture of Bon Bon stuffing her face with several muffins. All were blueberry which caught Derpy’s attention in full. "This mare has already eaten plenty for the entire party we are having. She ill needs more ill gotten sweets down her gluttonous maw!" 
"OBJECTION!"

"Said picture is a falsity. This is the real photo," Bon Bon lifted another photo in her hoof which was of Lyra shoveling down chocolate bon bons while Bon Bon was face hoofing in the background.

"TAKE THAT!"

The picture was give to Judge Derpy who looked in shock. The picture was too much. There was no way any pony could finish that much chocolate.

"OBJECTION!"

"That picture is ill advised in court and was not given to the court record. I demand justice!" Lyra screamed out while a magical fist impacted on the table she was at.

"TAKE THAT!"

Lyra lifted another picture of Bon Bon stuffing her face with bon bons as well. It seemed to have been taken right after Lyra’s had been taken. Derpy was so confused now and couldn’t possibly decide who deserved the muffin.

The two ponies battled against each other with heavily censored words not suitable for mixed company.
All the meanwhile Discord stood next to Derpy eating the muffin silently getting a small hoof bump from Derpy.

"Thanks for this Discord. I thought I would never be able to see a really active court in session like this." Derpy beamed a smile at him seeing as the last time she had court duties was the most boring day of her life bar none.

"Think nothing of it. This is what I live for!" The chaotic being quickly dawned a bailiff costume and broke up the arguments to the dismay of the two mares.

"Wait where’s the muffin!?" The both shouted out when they saw a wrapper left on the table.

"Worry not ladies for I shall be your chaotic light in the night!" Discord quipped to the dismay of the now lucid Lyra and Bon Bon.

With a snap of his fingers four muffins appeared on the table. He reached for one first and ate while Derpy reached for one as well and ate hers. Seemingly content the other two carefully reached for theirs. Nothing happened.

"Now ladies I’m appalled. It’s near Hearth Warming’s Eve. Even I am keeping my chaos in control for right now." He finished his muffin and teleported out of the house. Derpy finished her muffin and sighed in relief. The maker had truly blessed her with a satisfying muffin.

"I guess we should try ours right Bon Bon?" Lyra looked at her treat while Bon Bon looked at hers.

"Yeah. Same time?"

"Sure."

With a slow bite the two tasted their muffin. The smile disappeared as the two swallowed their piece and held back the yuck.

"BRAN!"

Session 45.8 Ardashir

(OOC: Getting back to Cheerilee's now multi-species class.)

"Guess I might as well make my choice," Scootaloo walked over to a pair of statues set oddly close together. One was of a mighty and majestic dragon, while the other was of a tiny Breezie.

"Choosing Dragon, huh?" Sweetie Belle asked her. Scootaloo nodded.

"Yeah; I want to know what it feels like to fly." Unfortunately, while she was talking, Scootlooo reached out blindly. Apple Bloom started to open her mouth. Diamond Tiara's tail glowed pink and a gag appeared on her mouth as Scootaloo said, "This will be awesome! I'm gonna be a great big..."

A poof of smoke followed, and cleared to reveal a purple and orange Breezie.

"Hah!" It said in a shrill, high-pitched voice like Scootaloo's. "Look at me, guys! I'm the biggest -- VHAT!" She looked down at herself and cried in an oddly accented voice, like Scandineighvian. "Oh, no no no! Not some silly Breezie!"

"Yip-yip-yip!" Diamond Tiara began to laugh, the yipping amusement of a fox. Or a Kitsune. She pointed one claw as Scootaloo flew over to hover before her. "Hah! Let that teach you to be careful, Breezealoo! OW!" She rubbed her nose where it'd been pinched.

"And let t'at teach you not to amuse yoorself at my expense!" Breezealoo looked as defiant as she could at six inches tall. She shook her tiny hoof. "If I had a stinger, I vould give you such a sting!"

"Ahem!" Everyone fell silent as Cheerilee's voice rumbled through the space they were in. "If everypony has made their choice?" She looked around. Minotaur and Griffon, Kitsune and Changeling, Zebra and Breezie, Llama and Bat-pony, all nodded.

"Then time for the story to begin," Cheerilee said.

Session 45.9 Kendell2

(I've noticed despite being only five or six days until Christmas, we've done very little Christmas, so how about some Christmas? Also, based off the World of Warcraft Feast of Winter Veil Christmas thing.)

"So we don't need to worry about the Changelings during the Hearth's Warming event?" Sunset asked.

"Well, only if we don't go after their missions during this time," Sci Twi replied, looking at the description. "Something about them all being so drunk off love they take a break from their attacks...also, since he runs off Hate, Sombra and his forces are repelled for the moment."

"So in other words, temporary peace treaty?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Less that and more they're all drunk or love and joy causes them physical pain," Sunset replied from what she'd just been told.

"Look! I got a Gaudy Hearth's Warming Sweater!" Pinkie announced, having her ingame character put said sweater on. "It let's you sing carols!" she said, pressing the button to do so.

"There's a special air rifle you can get too," Rainbow Dash replied, looking at the achievement list.

"Well either way, I'm not complaining," Sunset replied. "It's an improvement over Crystalsoft's older Christmas games..."

"Yeah, I remember..." Rainbow Dash said with a shudder. "...Let's go find that missing Reindeer already."

"Wonder if the Equestria Chrysalis is taking the holiday off..." Sunset muttered.

Imago looked over as her mother fell down the chimney with an oof, wrapped in tinsel and Hearth's Warming decorations. "...Santa Hooves nonlethally kick your flank again?"

"...No...I tripped..." Chrysalis said in a tone that wouldn't convince anyone, trying to free herself. "...Help me out here!"

"This is the fourth time this month..." Imago muttered, letting the guards help her mother.

"If I can't take over Equestria then I'll ruin the holiday!" the disgraced Changeling monarch yelled, giving a scream as she was cut loose and fell down.

"Mom, Santa Hooves LITERALLY can't be hurt by anything but good will. You're so malevolent that you LITERALLY can't hurt him!" Imago said, in a rare case of being the voice of reason. Mainly because she hadn't done enough morally wrong stuff to actually get coal (mainly because the target of all her usurping attempts was evil).

"That won't stop me from trying!...So, how were things while I was gone?"

"Brother tried to eat one of the skunks from the desert. Keyword, tried."

Chrysalis gave an annoyed facehoof. "Again?!"

"I think the only reason he doesn't try to eat me and Pupa is because we smell too much like you."

"...I don't know if that was an insult or not..."

Imago shrugged. "...Also, your tail's on fire."

Chrysalis looked back and saw her tail had indeed caught fire from the fireplace. "Bah humbug..."

Imago was tempted to remind her mother of what happened LAST TIME she'd said those words at Hearth's Warming time. That and her mother was too busy being on fire.

Session 45.10 QuartzScale

The group of ponies sitting around the map were ready to play yet another tabletop game when Spike walked in holding a suitcase. He didn’t look sad either but happy. Alongside him was Discord also holding a suitcase. The eight ponies sitting around the table were shocked at the sight. Gilda was still back at Griffonstone until the day before Hearth Warming while Trixie was staying at the castle. Trixie and Starlight were whispering to themselves. Fluttershy looked about to cry while Applejack and Rainbow Dash put on their tough girl exterior to not show any emotions. Pinkie just stared utterly confused by the scene in front of them.

"Uh… Spike where are you and Discord going?" Twilight spoke up with a small quaver in her voice.

"Canterlot. Princess Celestia needs me and Discord for a couple days then I’ll be back before Hearth Warming begins." Spike answered almost mechanically while Discord whistled with his arms behind his head.

Seven mares all relaxed when they heard the explanation and visibly sighed in relief. One purple alicorn unfortunately did not.

"But what about our traditions!" Twilight blurted out and caught herself with her hooves.

"Don’t worry Twi. I’ll be back before then and I want you to be a tough little filly. I won’t be missing the full traditions. I got something for everypony here."

Discord physically walked to every pony at the table and handed them a simple gift box wrapped with a ribbon that matched their colors. Twilight’s had a lilac ribbon. Fluttershy’s was yellow. Pinkie’s was pink. Rainbow Dash had a multicolored bow like her mane. Applejack had an orange bow. Rarity’s was a vibrant rich purple. Starlight’s was violet. Trixie’s was light blue.

"Now everypony you can open them now if you insist but only after I leave. So I’ll be back soon take care."

See you later everypony." Discord quickly released a flash bomb and with a snap of his talons the two disappeared for Canterlot.

Everypony looked over their gift. Uncertainty was upon all their faces. Pinkie was more excited than uncertain.

"This is quite the surprise darlings. What do you suppose Spikey Wikey has gotten us?"

"Ooh Ooh. Maybe it’s one of his favorite gems. Or maybe its a scale that looks like it had someponies face on it. Maybe he carved something for us? What if it’s a prank! Nah… too close to Hearth’s Warming and Discord didn’t say anything or have any tells on him. Should we open them? Let’s open them!"

"I don’t know. Ah reckon that he did give us permission and all but it’s still not time to be openin up presents yet."

"Oh c’mon AJ. It’s probably not that bad if we sneak a peek. It is the season of the holidays and everything should be great if we open them now."

"I don’t know. I mean it’s ok if everypony is ok with it but that’s just my opinion on it. I’m sorry"

"Trixie is sure that the gift is not going to be a game changer for what you are getting Spike. Trixie believes it is fine to open the gift right Starlight?"

"Maybe. It is my second Hearth’s Warming here in the castle. Hopefully this time skips the lessons about what it means."

"Heh heh. I see what you mean. Well girls if you really think it should be fine maybe we should open them. This is one of our traditions to open one gift early. So it shouldn’t hurt."

The eight mares decided on an order. Trixie had managed to win the first game and was allowed to open her gift first. She was followed by Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Starlight, Applejack, and finally Twilight.

"For the record girls, I let you win." Twilight huffed about losing the game.

Laughs erupted through the halls. As Trixie manipulated the box in her magic. The bow released and the box was open. The entire box was full of packing peanuts which confused the showmare to no end. Then she brushed the peanuts away revealing something that shocked every mare at the table. Standing proudly on the table was a small figurine made of azurite shaped just like Trixie. The mane was made of two different shades of sapphires. The eyes were both rubellite tourmalines. What was once laughter turned to utter silence and when Trixie looked back in the box a little purple cape with swirls and purple wizard’s hat also fell out. Trixie felt her jaw literally hit the table alongside everypony else.
Pinkie was next and was super excited. The same setup was revealed and out popped her figurine. The body was made of rhodolite garnet with the mane being made of a lighter ruby. The eyes were two turquoise gems. A small felt figure of a present was also inside the box which went along with her motif. Pinkie’s squeeing could be heard throughout the entire town and beyond.

Rarity opened her’s next. Inside was the same setup. The figurine was lifted in her magic. It was made entirely of white diamond while the mane was made of amethyst gems. The eyes were made of Azurite. The small felt item to come out was a Fire Ruby on a felt chain. Rarity was lost to the sparkling sight and soon fainted on her chair.

Fluttershy quietly opened her gift and pulled out the figurine. It was made entirely of chrysoberyl a really hard gem to find. The mane was made of kunzite and the eyes were made of sapphires. Fluttershy also had a small felt bunny as well which came out of the box. Fluttershy had tears of joy and couldn’t say anything.

Rainbow Dash instantly opened her gift and saw a figurine just like the others. Her figurine was also made of azurite but what really caught her eye was the mane and tail. Ruby for the red, Citrine for the orange, Topaz for the yellow, Jade for the green, Sapphire for the blue, Sugilite for the Indigo, and Kunzite for the Violet. The eyes were made of pink diamonds. All she could say was ‘So awesome!’ The felt present was a small decal for the wonderbolts.

Starlight’s figurine was made of Jadeite while the mane was a mix of Amethysts and turquoises. The mane was the thing which surprised her the most. It was shaped like her new mane style rather than her old like the other figurines which showed that a lot more care was taken. The eyes were made of darkened sapphires. The small felt present was a book with the words ‘Friends Forever’ embroidered on it. Starlight took a page out of Fluttershy’s book and cried tears of joy as well.

Applejack opened hers next finding her figurine just as majestic as the rest. It was made of Fire Opal and the mane was made of topaz. On the tail was a small ruby band which mimicked the tie she usually wore on her own tail. The eyes were made of jade. The small felt present was her hat which she promptly put on the figurine’s head. She threw her hat up in celebration catching it just as it came in reach.

Twilight finally got to open her present giggling like a filly when she was able to. Inside the box her figurine was floated out. The figurine was different from the others. While the wings were tucked in for Dash’s and Fluttershy’s, the wings on hers were out and flared. It was made of amethysts while the mane was made of tanzanites and pink diamond. The eyes were made of sugilite. The present inside was a felt element of harmony in the shape of her tiara. That wasn’t the only thing in the box though. A small letter also popped out.

Twilight picked up the letter to the anticipation of the others and with a quick spark of her magic she began to read the letter aloud:

"Dear Twi if you’re reading this then you opened the gifts early… which means I probably owe Discord ten bits later. Anyways these little figurines are something I’ve been working on for a while since we started running these game nights. I’m still working on one for every pony in town but those will come out periodically whenever I can find the materials. The reason you girls got yours now was because Discord helped me find the right gems for the job. Remember to enjoy the time from now to Hearth’s Warming and I’ll be back in time to spend the holidays with my family. Love, Spike.

P.S Discord here. I made the felt presents. I didn’t use magic either to make them so tell Fluttershy thank you for the lessons. Also chaos present will come later right now we’ve got a job to do."

"I’m not reading the rest cause it’s maniacal laughter. And no I mean he actually wrote out all the letters for two lines of maniacal laughter."

The ponies looked at their gifts and only one thought was on their collective minds.

‘What am I getting them this year?’

Session 45.11 Alex Warlorn

"A new age of enlightenment has begun Alicorn! The ponies of Equestria will rejoice and prosper under my guidance!" Boomed he bright red face with glowing yellow eyes. Sticking his head out of the book rather than in the comic itself as part of the immersion. "I will become your provider, your teacher, your ... Protector... and your MASTER! BWAHAHAH!"

"Excuse me," Twilight interrupted. "But why do you call yourself the Protector? The average pony who joins your cult, The Herd, never even hear of you and work towards making Equestria a better place with friendship and hard-work and are all generally good ponies. The leaders of your cult who DO know about you ALREADY know you're evil! And you don't even pretend to be nice to the worlds you HAVE conquered! So why do you even give lip service to the idea you're a Protector?"

"I... Well... that is... excuse me!" And the face retreated back into the comic, which quickly closed back up and teleported back to the comic shop.

"Will you stop ruining our deposit!" Spike snapped, dressed up and with 'equipment' (like a wooden handle with two metal pipes at the end) borrowed from Earth to make sure he was actually able to defend himself for once. "This is like the time you crashed Swordetta!"

"Sorry! But it didn't make sense! WHY would the Alicorns make themselves appear beautiful with marble and gold shells, when they're hideous underneath, when the normal pony can't even see them anyway, the Witches will kill them no matter what they look like due to their contract with the Draconequi, and the Sages ALREADY know what they look like underneath their shells? It's so obvious a plot hole!"

"That's why you said about Lord of the Horseshoes."

"I... had to try and see if there was an easier solution for destroying the One Horseshoe. "

"You and everypony else who's ever used the enchanted comic version."

"I really thought you carrying the ring on the chain, with the Great Griffin blind folded, and me riding to direct him where to go, while the other heroes made faces at the Dark Tower to distract it would work."

"Until you found out that the Cracks of Gloom didn't refer to the top of the volcano but the tunnel where the One Horseshoe was made. And before that the Great Griffin got greedy and grabbed the ring. And before that the Dark Tower spotted us miles away and we got maimed by Horseshoe Wraiths, and before that-"

"Okay! Find! The original author put a lot more thought into it than ponies give him credit for!"

Session 45.12 Alex Warlorn

Engaging in a 'friendly' game of Paint Ball War with the Shadowbolts didn't seem THAT bad an idea. Dean Cadence and the Principle Sisters thought it might be a good way to build bridges between the schools. It was nothing official, just the Humane Six verses the Shadow Bolt 5 on the weekend.

As it turned out, the Shadow Bolt 5 had brought an extra.

"It's... nice to see you again Suri," Rarity said politely.

The other girl said nothing. But she kept her distance from Rarity, hugging herself.

"Wait, you two know each other?" Sunset asked.

"We went to the same grade school... she got into Crystal Prep... I didn't."

Diamond Tiara's mother also wanted her daughter to attend, but Filthy Rich had overruled her.

"Don't mind Suri, I guess she's just nervous without her sidekick." Lemon Zest shrugged. Friendship was still an unholy word at Crystal Prep, (which make the Shadowbolt 5 both the school's best students with Twilight gone, and now weirdos).

Nopony knew what Cinch had said to Suri after being so completely outdone by Pinkie Pie's cake Mona Lisa, but the girl had been a nervous wreck sense. It had been Indigo Zap's idea to 'help her.'

But it all turned out not to be needed. Fluttershy couldn't bring herself to pull the trigger on another person even in a harmless game of paintball. And as for Human Twilight.

"It... doesn't feel right competition with my old classmates, again." For Crystal Prep, competing against your classmates was the norm, working with them was a temporary thing at best.

"Don't wanna tell them about Gun Gals online eh?" Sour whispered.

Rumor had it that the memo the game designers got was supposed to be 'Gun Gale' ... but due to the misunderstanding, had made an MMO-FPS in a full open world of people in swim suits shooting science fiction and real life fire arms at monsters (as of the latest patch) and each other. The science nerd Twilight had secretly helped beta test it with the Shadow Bolts.

Human Twilight blushed. "Uh, no!"

"You're so cute that way." Sweet giggled.

Indigo Zap would have once joked that they still had six girls on their team, with Sour Sweet, but had actually evolved past making such jokes about her... condition.

And so the battle began, with Suri, Fluttershy, and Twilight all on the sidelines. So Fluttershy found herself between two indoctrinated study-holics.

The Rainbooms as it turned out knew had to be a better team. And coordinated their movements. and Celestia's lessons with Sunset, had included some basic guerrilla tactics (Sunset now had an idea why).

While the Shadowbolts knew how to be ruthless, and where not programmed to accept defeat nor failure.

As Rainbow Dash crashed into their home base ready for the final kill-

And Indigo Zap... did a diving leg charge at Rainbow Dash, her foot slamming into Rainbow Dash's lower leg, causing her to topple over, and get hammered by paint balls.

"What was that for?!"

"What? It's not against the rules."

"I'm pretty sure it is!"

"And I'm pretty sure it's not!"

Sunset said, opening her mouth and hearing herself say, "It's fine Rainbow Dash, they can't help being so brainwashed." She covered her mouth.

"What did you say?" Sour Sweet hissed.

"N-nothing!"

"No. You said we'd been conditioned to the point of not being in full control of it." Sugarcoat said flatly.

"... " Sunset sighed. "You girls treat everything as a competition, and you treat every competition as if it was a war! You girls don't know the meaning of the word 'friendly competition' and you treat everyone around you like they're the enemy! Crystal Prep's brainwashed you into thinking that how EVERYTHING is!"

"Maybe it's just the way we are!" Sunny Flare remarked.

"... I know for a fact Suri wasn't like that BEFORE Crystal Prep." Rarity said simply. Making the minor Shadow Bolt startle.

"Hey, the defector over there doesn't fit your bill." Indigo Zap said pointing at human Twilight. Then INDIGO seemed to realize what she just said. "I... that is..."

"I think we should call it a day." Human Twilight said.

"I think that might be best." Applejack admitted honestly.

Session 45.13 Ardashir (bit by me at the end)

"So..." Trixie suspiciously examined the three brightly-wrapped boxes sitting before her. She looked up. Twilight grinned at her. Trixie's frown deepened. "Just what is this supposed to be, Twilight Sparkle?"

"It's your gift for Hearth's Warming, Trixie," Twilight pointed at the plush version of herself. Her horn glowed and it said, "Twilight saved Trixie, but Trixie saved Equestria!"

Twilight's smile went slightly manic. Trixie gulped.

"Well, one of them is your gift," Twilight said. She began walking around the boxes and Trixie. "The other two are, let's just say a surprise." Trixie started to sweat Twilight added, "I'm making a game of this. You pick out the right one, you get what you have coming, right now." Twilight smiled at Trixie began backing away. "It's my way of thanking you for your thoughtful gifts to me and my friends."

"Trixie thinks she would like to be leaving," the blue showmare said as she began backing away. A sickly smile crossed her face as she said, "She wishes to assure Twilight Sparkle that no thanks are necessary."

"Really? That's a shame," Twilight said, obviously saddened. "I thought the Great and Powerful Trixie could handle any trick."

Trixie hesitated. She looked at the three boxes, all the same size, with blue paper and silver bows on them. With a sigh Trixie returned to make her choice.

Trixie spent several moments carefully examining all three before she finally made her choice. She failed to notice Twilight's horn glow briefly, as did the present.

"You're sure you want that one," Twilight said in a defeated monotone.

"Hah!" Trixie pounced on the present. "Trixie knew this was the one you wanted her to miss! Now she will..."

Trixie's voice trailed off. Her eyes went wide. Twilight smiled as Trixie used her magic and removed a small plush of herself from the box, complete with her hat and cape. She turned to Twilight, confusion on her face.

"That's your doll, Trixie," Twilight laughed at her sudden shock. "What, did you think it was going to blow up or something? The girls told me how upset you were, so I met the toymaker and asked them if they could make ones of you and Starlight!" Before she could say more Trixie was hugging her tightly. For a moment, that is, before she backed away.

"Ahem! Trixie is grateful that her efforts have received their proper due! But what does Trixie say?" She squeezed the doll.

"I am the Great and Powerful Trixie! Let's do a show together!" Trixie's smile faded as the doll went on to say, "Just don't outdo me, or I'll use a dark magic amulet to conquer your hometown!" "Trixie is a total blowhard!"

Trixie glared at Twilight, who looked utterly stunned.

"Is this supposed to be a joke, Twilight Sparkle?!?"

"I, I don't know! I just bought the speaking-gems they had in stock at the store, and..." Her eyes lit up and she brought over the day's copy of the Canterlot Sun. Both mares examined it.

"'Malicious Pranksters make false speaking-gems for toy line'," Trixie read aloud. "Among others, national heroine Starlight Glimmer's plush says, 'I'll get mine one day!' 'I'm a meddling incompetent tyrant.' 'I mind control ponies just like Twilight Sparkle.'

Twilight and Trixie frowned at each other.

"Do we even need to ask who was this petty, vindictive, and willing to spend insane amounts of bits on this?"

"BWA-AHAHAHA!" Chrysalis rolled on the floor of the rundown ruin, er, castle, her swarm currently lived in. Her shivering Changelings obediently gathered around as she said, "I ruined the image of those meddling mares AND Hearth's Warming for thousands of fillies and colts! I'm still Equestria's greatest enemy!"

"How many bits did this cost?" One Changeling whispered to another.

"Let me put it this way," the other muttered. "Better get used to eating grass soup."

+

Twilight teleported him in. "DISCORD! This prank of yours is too much!"

"What prank?" Discord asked in his bathrobe and bunny slippers eating ice cream on the couch watching re-runs of Wagon Train.

Session 45.14 Ardashir

"Hmmph! You suspect poor innocent me of everything," Discord sniffed. He snapped his fingers and one of the plushes appeared in his hand. He looked utterly disgusted. "Ugh! Dolls for Hearth's Warming?" He turned it into an armored Shining Armor figure riding a full-grown Spike toy. "Bah! The kids want action figures these days."

He snapped one claw and Twilight suddenly found herself dressed like a ninja, while Trixie wore combat fatigues. She put her hoof on Twilight's withers in shock, and Twilight yelled in pain.

"Trixie! Don't grip so tightly!" She fought to escape.

"Trixie cannot make her hoof let go!" Trixie tried to yank her hoof free.

"What, not a fan of the toy with the Kung Fu grip?" Discord laughed, snapped his fingers again, and both ponies were back to normal and giving him dirty looks. "Now, don't be like that. I'm getting into the spirit of things this year. More, I'm giving gifts that are educational this year." He dropped a box down before the two. It promptly unfolded into a bizarre-looking chemistry set. "Ta-da! Discord's Educational Home Science Set, for foals aged four to four hundred!"

Twilight took a closer look.

"What!" She held up several bottles. All of them bore skulls and crossbones, bore the legend DANGER!, or read clearly, 'Use Only Under Adult Supervision'. "Discord! You mean to give this to foals?"

"It was either that or the Junior Home Atomic Lab, but I couldn't find enough uranium and plutonium samples for everypony. And what do you mean, 'mean' to give it to foals?" He smiled and snapped his fingers again. "I already have, just now! Oh, don't worry," he gave a horrified Twilight an affectionate head pat. "Nothing in it is really dangerous. I'm not the OLD me any more."

Twilight sighed and slumped in relief.

"The dangerous containers only have Poison Joke in them; perfectly safe! Well, mostly."

"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND! Never mind," Twilight groaned as Discord smiled and opened his skull, showing her a plastic toy brain inside it. "Discord, how is this an educational toy?"

"Because anyone foolish enough to play with things clearly marked 'dangerous' will get an education in why they should pay attention to the signs?"

Session 45.15 Kendell2

Trixie got a look and picked up one of the bottles that wasn't marked dangerous. "And how do we know ANY of these are safe to drink, exactly?"

Discord gave an annoyed looked. "I'm DISCORD, Spirit of CHAOS! Since when would I do something so predictable!"

"Maybe since you brainwashed Twilight and her friends in the EXACT same way?" the azure unicorn asked, in a goading voice.

Discord admitted, other than Fluttershy, Trixie had consistently proven to be one of the only ponies who only recently met him but was able to not show fear or intimidation in front of him...show, perhaps. But still...part of him respected that, another part was absolutely livid.

"Hey! I didn't reuse the same trick twice!"

"Made all of them do the exact opposite of their Element if Trixie recalls, same end result," Trixie continued, looking at the vile. "So, how do we know you didn't just fill ALL of these with something nasty and are going to say the lesson is 'don't take gifts from strangers? It'd be perfectly in character."

Discord growled. "Fine! Give me that vile!" The Draconequus grabbed the vile and downed it. "See? Just apple juice!...Wait..."

Trixie smirked and dispelled an illusion, revealing the vile was actually one of the 'danger' ones.

"...Oh horseapples...." Discord muttered, before suddenly he was covered by blue spots. His limbs suddenly decided to detach until he was only a head, each growing into a complete animal and running off. "Hey! Come back here!"

The lion that was previously his arm raised a sign saying 'On Strike' and ran off.

Twilight looked to Discord. "...You just got Trixied..."

"...Twilight, will you please face hoof my head for me? I'd do it myself but I don't have limbs."

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 45.0 Ardashir
Session 45.1 Kendell2
Session 45.2 Ardashir
Session 45.3 Kendell2
Session 45.4 Kendell2
Session 45.5 QuartzScale
Session 45.6 Alex Warlorn
Session 45.7 QuartzScale
Session 45.8 Ardashir
Session 45.9 Kendell2
Session 45.10 QuartzScale
Session 45.11 Alex Warlorn
Session 45.12 Alex Warlorn
Session 45.13 Ardashir (bit by me at the end)
Session 45.14 Ardashir
Session 45.15 Kendell2

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Cover art by Ailynd http://ailynd.deviantart.com/art/Pinkie-Pie-Bard-615779678

Session 46

Session 46

Session 46.0 QuartzScale

Finally the night was upon all ponies of Ponyville and beyond. For reasons unknown Twilight had received a letter detailing the need for the Castle of Friendship to be prepared for everypony possible to attend. The decorations were handled by the Mane Six, Starlight, Trixie, and Gilda who had just arrived two days earlier than expected. Still they were waiting on Spike to appear back from his job with the Princesses.

Discord had managed to pop in but never said anything about the job or how Spike was doing though that was probably more in part because last time he had been 'trixed' which got another facehoof the moment Twilight had thought of it.

Decorations filled the hall when the sound of a knock was heard throughout the halls.

"I'll get it." Pinkie Pie called out before zipping for the front door.

The doors revealed none other than Shining Armor, Cadance, Flurry Heart and Sunburst decked out in festive gear and fuzzy hats.

"BBBFF! Cadance! It's so good to see you. What are you doing here?" Twilight trotted up and hugged them both before nuzzling Flurry. Sunburst bowed before trotting over to Starlight and hugging her without a word.

"Well Celestia said we should be here for Hearth's Warming for some reason but neither of us know why." Cadance explained.

"Oh Twily some of my friends might be coming as well. They'll be here in a bit." Shining said.
As if on cue the door was knocked again revealing Gaffer, 8-Bit and his Family, and Gizmo all appeared at the door followed by all of Shining's army buddies and their friends. In total sixteen ponies showed up. With the door closed everypony waved at Twilight who was utterly confused until another letter showed up.

'Get everypony in town to come to the castle Twilight, Princess Celestia'

Not one to question her mentor and friend Twilight flew to the outer balcony and with a magically enhanced voice and the royal Canterlot voice screamed throughout all of Ponyville.

"COME TO THE CASTLE FOR HEARTH'S WARMING! ALL PONYVILLE INVITED!"

After finished her announcement ponies flocked to the castle filling it up to its maximum capacity. Then another knock came at the door prompting Pinkie Pie to get it.

"Yaks are here Princess Twilight. Princess Celestia had said we are to come here for something important."

"Welcome Prince Rutherford. Yes she... uh said you were coming please join us we're getting all of the castle ready for the party... I guess." Twilight barely voiced out the last two words while Rutherford and several of his yaks walked into the castle and began mingling with the ponies inside. Just as she was about to return to speak with the girls another knock sounded out.

"Hi Princess Twilight. Sorry we're late. We were getting some more done in our castle. I hope we're not intruding." Thorax spoke aloud. Behind him were several of his changeling guards and Empress Rosedust and Queen Supia who had shrunk herself down for the occasion.

"Sorry Twilight some of my daughters couldn't make it. They were busy getting some things done." Rosedust chimed in and bowed slightly.

"Ah Twilight-chan you truly have made the castle more beautiful. I am looking forward to the party." The group entered as well filling up the castle more yet the castle didn't seem to be getting filled.
Twilight merely bowed and smiled while the groups intermingled and ate the snacks that several of the ponies were helping to make for everyone within the castle.

'Why are there so many ponies here!' Twilight's thoughts screamed out when another knocked appeared at the door. There stood two dragonesses.

"Hello Twilight. We have come since Spike said there was something that was going to be happening here. We're not too late are we." Ember spoke out first.

"Nah doesn't look like it but where's Spike?" Mina interjected innocently enough but Ember ignored it mostly due to what Spike said about keeping bad feelings down for at least this day.

"He'll be back soon. He's just getting some things done for the Princesses in Canterlot then he'll teleport back in." Twilight gave her best smile even though her mane was frazzled beyond belief.

The two dragonesses entered as well while Twilight began to breathe heavily. A lot of things were going on and the pressure was starting to get too high. Then a burst of light appeared nearby revealing both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. Behind them was Spike and Discord looking a bit tired but overall they were smiling.
"Princess it's so good to see you. Please explain to me what's going on!?" Twilight whispered loudly while she stared up at Celestia.

"Oh it's just part of the gift we are giving all the ponies, changeling, and dragons that are here. Discord had finally been reeled down to what we are going to see for his chaos gift. Also don't worry we made sure to get the best lawyer for this." Celestia explained as Twilight finally calmed down.

"Before that could you see if Sunset would be willing to come here as well." Celestia was about to say to Twilight when Discord snapped his talons and Sunset appeared utterly confused at everything that was going on.

"Why am I here...? What happened?" Sunset looked around noticing the hooves and then Discord. Everything clicked. "Oh..."

"Don't worry Sunspot. Just needed you for something courtesy of Celestia." Discord smiled out while he placed Sunset in front of the sisters.

"It's good to see you once again Sunset. Are you alright?" Celestia intoned. Luna for her part had gotten lost in the crowds and mingling with everypony around.

"Yeah...I was just taking a nap before Pinkie's party was about to start. My world's Pinkie mind you."

"Of course. Well don't worry I just would like you around for a short while to see this gift that will be revealed shortly. Then we'll send you back in time before the party can start. Is that alright?"

"Of course Princess. I would love to see what's going to happen."
With all the pieces set and Twilight and Cadance filled in about the plan Celestia took center stage in front of everyone who attended. Silence permeated the entire halls.

"Welcome everypony to the celebration and we are here to give you something that you remember for the rest of your lives. Though you'll have to be prepare for something beyond your understanding. Please prepare yourself." Celestia bowed slightly.

Discord prepared his chaos magic pooling a lot of in his claw while Celestia, Luna, Cadance and Twilight pooled the magic into the sphere as well extending the effects even further. The sphere exploded in a cascade of colors as the entire party and every guest was in a large magical bubble floating out in space.

"Everyone ready for the show!" Discord called out and with another snap of his talons sunglasses appeared on every single being's eyes stuck permanently. Some tried to pull them off but relented when Luna spoke up.

"FOOLS KEEP THE GLASSES ON!" Luna shouted causing many of the ponies to trust in their princesses but remain wary of what was going on.

Out in the distance there was a giant explosion creating a new nebula. Countless stars shot out expanding from their creation point. Comets formed from ice and shot out to sail through the cosmos. A new sun formed in the distance as new planets took their place as well. Then Discord began to move his arms around while Celestia and Luna focused their magic to give him a bit more power. Several stars began to move around floating through the cosmos and forming words across the darkened space before them.

HAPPY HEARTH'S WARMING EVERYONE!

The light and creation of a new universe along with the message created out of the stars and the chaotic way they were moved touched the hearts of every single being. With another snap of his talons alongside a burst of magic from Cadance and Twilight and the party returned to the castle. Some ponies had tears while others were in awe. Rosedust kept herself calm but even she was impressed by what she saw. Though she would never say it aloud or think about it ever again. Thorax, on the other hoof, was voicing his impressed nature.

Ember and Mina were standing with Spike impressed with the view that was shown to them. Everypony cheered for everyone on the stage and the party continued on.

The party continued through the night and as soon as it ended the old group of the mane six, Starlight, Spike, Trixie, Discord, and Gilda were sitting around the table and preparing some new character sheets.

"Ready everypony? You are adventurers meeting up at a tavern..."

Session 46.1 Alex Warlorn

As a special note, last night at the party, Luna had been very delighted to find Pipsqueak among the crowd as well, and was determined to spoil the foal rotten this Hearth Warming Eve.

Meanwhile, Prince Rutherford, was having a polite conversation with a 'Princess Crystal Winter', and her very young daughter, Filly Doll. The unicorn and her daughter's fur was as white as snow, her mane pale blue as crystal, her eyes were like emeralds, her cutie mark was a dragon fly, the regalia she wore was golden with sapphires.

The mare was grateful that nopony yet had discovered the 'Spike Vision' hex that was still on the little dragon. She considered bringing her other two children with her as well, but she didn't trust her son's appetite nor her older daughter's bad attitude. All the same, the insane amount of love at a gather this large was more than enough to supply her, her children, and her minions for the long cold unloving winter months ahead. She still had a family to feed after all.

This day actually meant a lot to her too, her babies couldn't feed off the hatred the Windigos had tended and harvested, their destruction had been a gift to her as well.

Even Princess Crystal Winter was left in awe and almost humbled by the sheer magnitude and glory before her seeing the great birth of creation itself. The rest of those who had remained loyal to her (along with changeling criminals) had a Spike's Eye View of the event as well. Don't let it be said that Princess Crystal Winter didn't appreciate beauty.

Princess Crystal Winter that evening DID manage to play a nice game of Munchkin with some of the elite present. Oh she wanted to strangle the life out of the unicorn who had turned her babies against her, and mutated them into monsters, but she'd have vengeance another day. For now she'd settle on the unicorn's Elf getting Instant Killed By 'The Thing With Too Many Tentacles.' While she herself grabbed the Singing Chainsaw of Sweet Doom' card for her Tiefling. And stealing the final level up from that other mare. Princess Crystal Winter left with Filly Doll after it began to remind her that might have actually been happy during her games with Cadenza.

(Pupa noun ORIGIN late 18th cent.: modern Latin, from Latin pupa ‘girl, doll.')

Session 46.3 Alex Warlorn

Sunset opened her enchanted journal that Princess Twilight had the twin of. It had given it 'pager buzzing.' Happy to hear from her friend Sunset Shimmer opened the book to find.

'Join us. Join Accord. The world of humans is such a disorderly and chaotic place, worse than Equestria. It too shall be made part of Accord. You really should try it Sunset.'

"... Yep! Time to barricade the portal again!"

She also looked for that folder Princess Twilight had given her, the one marked, 'In Case I Am Brainwashed (Again)'.

Session 46.3 Ardashir

Outside Canterlot High that night, a pair of figures in only slightly ridiculous ninja costumes approached the mirror gate beneath the equestrian statue.

"Okay, Lemon Zest," Sunny Flare crouched in a patch of shadow, keeping her eyes on the prize. "Remember why we're here -- Lemon Zest!"

"What?" Her, well, associate said (the Shadowbolts were still working on the whole 'friends' thing). She cranked up the sound on her headset. "What, you wanna hear some of these tunes?" Before Sunny could say anything, Lemon took her headset and slapped it over her ears. "Rock hard, Sunny! Then let's get back to Magic Horseland! I wanna meet that big weirdo-whatever-he-was guy again!"

"GAH!" Sunny Flare yanked the set off. Lemon snatched her headset back and put it back on. Sunny rubbed the bridge of her nose and counted to ten, slowly. "Not that! Look, we both want to get back on the other side of that mirror gate, remember? You so you can party, me so I can bring back a trunkful of precious gems." She pointed to the old traveling trunk she'd brought along, currently filled with oats and carrots. She studied economics, after all; she'd need something to trade those dopey ponies for a bunch of stones they couldn't even use. "Well, that won't happen if we make a racket! So let's get going."

She crossed over to the statue. No one saw her or Lemon, who didn't move stealthily but simply walked over, snapping her fingers in time to her music.

Sunny slapped her forehead. Once more she yanked the headset from Lemon's ears. "Must you make so much noise?!? Someone's gonna catch us at this rate!"

"Uh, Sunny, it's like, two in the morning." Lemon pointed up at the full moon floating high in a clear and chill Winter night sky. "No one but us is here."

"Actually, someone is."

Sunny leaped, yelled, and managed to get her hands raised in what she fondly imagined was a martial arts position. Lemon watched in confusion as she yelled, "No sudden moves, buddy! I studied Hung Gar Kung Fu for, like, years! I know the Shaolin Hand of Death! I..." She blinked to see Twilight in front of her "Oh, the egghead defector again. What are you doing here?"

"Studying night life? What?" Lemon Zest said as Sunny facepalmed again.

"I'm here to keep an eye on the mirror gate until Sunset can get here and close it," Sci-Twi looked past the two Shadowbolts and saw the trunk. "What the heck? Is that carrots and oats I smell?"

"Never mind!" Sunny snapped. She tried to maneuver closer to the gate. "We're ah, playing a game. Yeah, that's it."

"What game? Sci-Twi asked, suspicious.

"The 'how fast can we con those weirdo ponies out of their gems' game? OW!" Lemon rubbed her head where Sunny had swatted her.

"Wow, that crappy music really didn't kill all your nerve endings," Sunny grumbled before picking up one end of the trunk. "Okay, it was fun meeting you again egghead, except not. Now take a hike. Lemon and I have to make first contact with ponykind, or something like that."

"No, girls! Listen!" Sci-Twi pointed at the mirror gate. "Something's going wrong in Equestria! Sunset got a weird message from -- some of the ponies we know. Something's gone wrong, and..."

"And we're done talking; bye-bye!" Twilight went rolling as the two Shadowbolts charged past her and through the mirror gate.

"No!" She shrieked, but none was left to hear.

On the other side, a Unicorn and an Earth pony burst through.

"Hah!" Sunny Flare said. She trotted over to a convenient mirror and examined herself. She strutted back and forth, watching her reflection with a critical eye. She grinned at herself, winked, and rolled her flanks. "Oh, yeah, look at that! Prime horsemeat! No stallion will be able to resist me! I'm gonna be rich in no time!" She turned and saw Lemon standing still, bobbing her head to her tunes. She yanked it off. "Lemon! We got everything we're gonna need to intimidate these primitives into making us rich?"

"Uh," Lemon opened the trunk instinctively with her magic, moved the bags of oats and carrots aside, and drew out several items. "Okay, we have the lighter, the portable DVD player and four movies, and the almanac so we can predict the eclipse when they try to sacrifice us to their god." She blinked. "Wait, why would an almanac for our planet work here?"

"Duh, Lemon Zest," Sunny Flare rolled her eyes. She pointed out a nearby window. "It's night here just like back home, so obviously it runs on the same time." She loaded the trunk back up, and put it on Lemon's back. "Now let's get going. I'm finally gonna prove I didn't waste everyone's time when I kept insisting we play all those games of 'Settlers of Canterlot'!"

Session 46.4 QuartzScale

The days before Hearth Warming

Spike and Discord were before the two Princesses at the heaviest moment of their lives. It would change the very fate of Equestria and the world as a whole with that one decision. It was decided to acquiesce to the idea of a gift of that magnitude but something had to be decided before hand.

"So we go through this game for at least four songs and then we'll perform the gift on Hearth Warming right?" Discord eyed both sisters cautiously.

"Yes we've been needing two beings with fingers who could help us accomplish this task but the only other beings were Diamond Wolves who decided not to come for some reason and the griffons who were too busy with their preparations. So are you up to the challenge?" Luna poked fun at the two.

"Of course we will though why am I here Princess?" Spike asked.

"You're our mediator just in case new developments come up. Plus you are family as well and it wouldn't be Hearth's Warming without you." Celestia spoke up cutting off Luna who went to set up their specialty room specifically designed by Twilight.

The four beings walked through the halls to where the machines were set up. There were two styles of guitar. One seemed to be a bass and the other was the lead. There was also a set of drums set up. Celestia's magic instantly held the drumsticks ready to start while Luna held on to the microphone.

"Bass or Lead Discord?" Spike looked at the choices before him and let Discord choose his fate.

"Lead. Like there was any other choice." Setting themselves up all the settings were set to expert level and five songs were chosen. All were from the realm behind the mirror where Sunset lived.

The first song on the list was Don't Be Fooled Again. Every single second of that song burned Spike's claws and Discord was forced to form another arm just to keep up with the strumming when his main arm got tired. Luna at least kept her voice from flowing into the Royal tones and Celestia was easing into the drumming lifestyle.

The second song was Foreplay/Long Time and barely took it any easier on the four. Barely they were able to finish as some of the servants brought ice for the would be guitarists. The moment their fingers touched the ice it melted into steam. Celestia was forced to rest her horn in the ice as well which for some reason burst into flames. They hadn't even been trying that hard to begin with but the ice didn't lie... couldn't lie anymore.

Each song got worse by the second and forced them to the limits of their physical capabilities. Flirting with Disaster came up next and pushed them even further to the depths of madness. Luna was beginning to feel a bit hoarse. The songs were definitely getting harder.

"Do masochists only play this game!" Luna cried out just after the song ended.

"Yup." The other three monotonously answered.

The fourth song started up Highway Star leading to an all out war with trying to keep up as well as they could. Spike was starting to feel the pain even worse. Luna was panting for breath and Celestia's horn had started to fade out. Discord had even resorted to his seventh arm.

Finally at the end the last song came on the screen, They began to play Run to the Hills which caused them to give their all for the final burst of playing. After the song ended all four fell to the ground exhausted. With a bit of effort the maids brought them refreshments just to get them back on their feet and hooves.

"Ok Discord we'll agree to go along with this spell but we have to broadcast it over the entire world. If you can do that then everything will be fine." Celestia croaked out from the fatigue.

Celestia managed to teleport Luna and herself off to their observatory where they began to write out messages for Prince Rutherford and King Thorax. Another message was sent to the Dragon Lord Ember and the the representative of Dragon Town.
Discord and Spike were warped once again. While tired they managed to make it back to the interdimensional game room and contacted both Captain Goodguy and Nightmare Discord. With the plan in motion orbs of magic appeared in every kingdom, every town, and even tartarus with the exception of Changeling's Winter Court.

"Welcome everypony on the entire planet. Discord here with a message from the Princess of the Sun and the Princess of the Moon." Discord bowed happily revealing the two.

"Keep watch of this orb starting Hearth's Warming Eve. We have a gift for every nation. A once in a lifetime event that will be talked about to the ends of time and beyond. None shall want to miss this event!" Luna exclaimed.

"Princess tested. Princess approved." Celestia chimed in.
King Erik watched in rapt attention as Discord formed the chaos orb in his hand then the entire citizenry was shocked by the sudden explosion of colors.

King Aspen and his deers kept watch as the comets flew out and appreciated it with all the courtesy they could manage.

Griffonstone watched with bated breathe and for the first time in a while they vigorously decided it was time to restore their kingdom to glory.
Emperor Blackthorn watched with feigned interest until the supernova occurred. His sons and him decided not to go against Discord unless they had a plan.

Queen Cicada and her sister watched while the galaxy was formed. While impressed they didn't want to give Discord too much credit. Reformed or otherwise this was not to be.

Even those races of giants and minotaurs which were hardly seen were amazed by the formation of a new nebula and remembered that magic truly was powerful and not to be underestimated.

Baltimare, Manehattan, Appleloosa, Dodge Junction, Cloudsdale, Hollow Shade, Canterlot, Fillydelphia, Las Pegasus, Our Town and the Crystal Empire all cheered as the stars were moved by the royal sisters and the draconequus.

It was going to be a good year.

Session 46.5 Kendell2

"Wait, what about Button Mash?" the Changeling Sweetie Belle asked.

Alula, Tootsie, and Twist were all sick today unfortunately. Cheerilee would give them some instructions and catch them up.

"I'm here!" called Button, bounding up and skidding to a stop next to them. He was now a little brown deer fawn.

The CMC cringed and looked to each other. "Think he'll blow up on us if we step on a bug?" Scootaloo asked, knowing about King Aspin and his group from Rainbow Dash.

The CMC looked to Button who if anything seemed MORE hyper and playful than normal. He didn't seem high and mighty at all.

"Alright, let's begin the game, shall we?" Cheerliee asked, the void vanishing and them finding themselves in a forest.

Button Mash, to the CMC's surprise, simply looked more happy and peaceful...even when Snips suplexed a fallen log. Just because he could.

"Huh...guess deer aren't jerks..." Sweetie Belle said. "He still...tastes like Button Mash."

"So I guess King Aspin is just a jerk?" Scootaloo added, voice still that of a Breezie.

"...Does that surprise anypony at all?" Applebloom asked. "Tick for tack was his only law."

Session 46.6 Kendell2

"Alright...Twilight, are you sure you're ready for this?" Sunset asked.

Twilight nodded with a gulp. "As I'll ever be..."

The group were playing World of Horsecraft and had finally made it to the mission Twilight had admittedly feared this entire time.

At the edge of the Frozen North, the group headed through an icy dungeon, fighting shadow monsters of various sorts with Cadence as a Guest Star Party Member (a pretty good one, admittedly, particularly as a healer)...until they met HIM.

"Hello...Cadence..." said Tarnished Armor, marching forwards as a horde of Sombra's shadow minions and Changelings parted.

Technically speaking, it was possible to fight Chrysalis first then Tarnished Armor, the two were unlocked at the same time and both 'Climax Bosses' that needed defeated before the route to the final dungeon could be unlocked...but when they'd tried, Chrysalis had a MASSIVE buff from Shining Armor's love she was munching on and they'd decided the extra exp wasn't worth it.

"Shining...please snap out of this! I can feel your heart screaming! This isn't you!" the Princess Cadence NPC pleaded.

"Shining Armor isn't here," the Black Knight replied, pulling out a crystal broadsword. Though the lore stated it was a duplicate of the real Blade of Deepest Shadow was held by King Sombra and this was a 'shard' of the real thing given to him. "He's gone, Princess. And he's never coming back."

Cadence teleported and touched horns to Tarnished Armor, letting off a spell, but the sword held on his back glowed and threw her off. "I told you. Shining Armor isn't here. There is only Tarnished Armor!"

The Cadence NPC gave a glare. "No, he's not gone! And we WILL get him back!"

Twilight took a deep breath. "Let's do this..."

=Fight the Knight - Sonic and the Black Knight=

The battle was VERY difficult, as to be expected.

The first phase consisted of Tarnished Armor putting a barrier around himself and using his fake Blade of Deepest Shadow and they had to fight their way through it. The next phase involved a more melee focused phase, but him still using the sword primarily.

It was during this that Rainbow Dash noticed something. "Hey, girls, anyone notice we can target his sword?"

Sci Twi blinked. "...She's right! Should we target it?"

Sunset and Princess Twilight nodded and everyone changed their focus to the False Blade of Deepest Shadow, which revealed it had its own separate health bar.

After hammering away at it for several minutes (and going through plenty of healing items and the Cadence NPC's mana), they finally depleted the Sword's heath bar, causing a cutscene to trigger of it shattering.

Tarnished Armor roared, grabbing his head. "C-Cadence! H-Help me!" called his voice with no demonic modulation as he'd had before. "No one can help you!" yelled the demonic voice before the Black Knight regained composure and produced a two headed crystal trident in his telekinesis. "You'll never get away!"

"Destroying the sword weakened the spell!" Cadence exclaimed. "Keep him busy! I think I can free him now!"

"Oh yeah! That did it!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "Let's finish this!"

The next phase consisted of surviving against Tarnished Armor's considerably stronger attacks and protecting Cadence while she cast a spell on the Black Knight. Which wasn't easy and Twilight ended up using her fair share of revival spells until the spell finally charged up all the way, triggering another cutscene.

Each of their heroes pinned Tarnished Armor down and allowed Cadence to pounce on his chest and touch a horn to his head, unleashing a spell Twilight recognized.

Everyone was thrown off by a blast of magic as Tarnished floated into the air, writhing and holding his head as pink light erupted out of the gaps in his armor. Finally, in a heart shaped explosion, the armor was blown off and Shining Armor fell to the ground.

"SHINING!" yelled Cadence, running to his side and nuzzling him.

The stallion groaned. "C-Cadence...I-I'm sorry...I let them...this is my..."

Cadence shut him up with a kiss. "There are ponies to blame, and you're not one...I'm just glad to finally have you back..."

"Aww..." everyone who wasn't Rainbow Dash said, who merely did a 'gag me' expression, though a good natured one.

However, the group jumped as a scare cord rang out and the scattered armor rattled on the ground before flying back together and reassembling itself, a shadow filling in where Shining had with a roar, pointing its duel sided trident their way.

ARMOR OF DARKNESS

"...Okay, has a second form...did not see that coming," Applejack muttered.

Shining Armor took a fighting stance. "I'm done being used by you!"

"This nightmare ends now!" Cadence exclaimed.

=Burn in Dispair - Undertale=

The new phase was still difficult (a bit more than the previous one), but unlike the previous two, had no specific additional thing, just deplete its health bar and they had Shining Armor as another guest party member (his defensive spells were pretty good and he had decent attack).

It also got new moves, including one where it twirled its halberd in front of it to build up a wave motion gun.

However, finally its health bar was depleted and it a cutscene played of it roaring out, energy erupted out of its body before it exploded violently, leaving a shard of crystal behind.

"Well...glad that's over..." Twilight said with a sigh, smiling as the cutscene showed Cadence nuzzled Shining Armor.

They'd later learn Armor of Darkness was an optional phase that only came if you destroyed the copy of the Blade of Deepest Shadow, if you didn't, Shining would be out of action after his armor was destroyed and not play more of a role in the story until the ending and you wouldn't get Armor of Darkness' drops.

Both Twilights were glad they did it right.

Session 46.7 QuartzScale

King Aspen wearily watched over his kingdom. The incident of being used like a chess piece by that... Fluttershy, had been mortifying enough but more news came out after that. Some of his citizens were angry at the constant ignorance that their race got more due to his temper rather than nature. With heavy heart he decided something needed to be done. While it was not the best of plans it needed something subtle and simple to get his people through this time... even if that time required a new leader. Blackthorn had been one of the few to get along well with the ponies and managed to be understanding enough to keep his cool. Albeit it was under trying times when their forest home had been in danger.

His horns glowed in a magical field. While not known by many Deers could use basic telekinesis with their horns but most of their magic was nature based and required a great attunement with the very forest itself. They weren't powerless outside of the forest but it was limited whenever nature was being overwhelmed by ‘progress'.

"I need you to summon Blackthorn to the rest area." King Aspen talked to his attendant Willow Reed.

"Right away sire."

With the order sent out the king bounded over to the private rest area. It was a homely copse deep within his Tree palace. The table was made of special mahogany bark that had shed from the tree luckily not torn or stripped from the tree by intervention. On that table was a deck of cards. It was to be something of a change since most of the world changed into one of games to settle matters. Tonight the plan was set.

Blackthorn entered the room and stood across from the King who was absent mindedly shuffling a deck of cards. Willow Reed stood off to the side ready to serve until a clacking of the king's hooved reached her ear. It was a signal he used only during serious times. She left the room ear hanging low. It meant there was going to be a big decision which would affect their entire kingdom and Blackthorn noticed that he was the only left within the room.

"Sit."

The tone didn't betray any emotion. It was neutral even. Blackthorn sat and kept his muzzle shut with his imagination roaming to random places. There had been reports of things happening in Canterlot and a few of his guards were wondering whether or not they would be assisting in matters. Usually they kept themselves out of pony problems due mostly in part to the machinations of their first king, King Sequoia. He had been very... dismissive about Princess Celestia and managed to keep his kingdom out of the problems that those ponies had brought. First Discord, then the rise of Nightmare Moon. Finally the release of Tirek had been the final straw leaving the deer exasperated by the lax security of the ponies in question. The treaty held but whenever talk about security came up Celestia mentioned that she would handle it. That had not been a good confidence since she had been captured by the former Queen Chrysalis during that wedding they had assured was important.

It was at that moment that King Aspen had put in some more isolationist reforms mostly due to not needing food nor materials to be shipped in. The Everfree forest had provided everything.

"Blackthorn, We are playing a game with high stakes. If you refuse to follow the outcome or try to lose on purpose you will be thrown in jail."

The statement was cold. It was an order from a ruler and there was no way to refuse it.

"Understood."

Blackthorn knew his ruler well enough that it was not a threat. It was a promise. The stakes would be something high and something he would have to accept no matter the circumstances. The cards were dealt and finally the terms were set.

"Appleloosa Hold'em. One hoof, no fold."

Two cards face down for both were set on the table. Three cards were flipped over. The King of Diamonds, the Queen of Hearts, the Queen of Diamonds. Blackthorn lifted his cards seeing the Ten of Diamonds and the Ace of Diamonds. Blackthorn said nothing nor did he react. He still didn't know what the stakes were.

"Stakes sire?" Blackthorn intoned but King Aspen ignored the question.

"Don't worry about it now. Check?"

A tap of his hoof another card was flipped next to the flop. This turn revealed the Jack of Spades appeared. If nothing else he at least had a straight. King Aspen said nothing but looked at his cards still with a confident smile, yet Blackthorn noticed that he wasn't truly smiling. It was a false smile he had kept for a while now. Never truly being part of the world. Another tap and another card was revealed. In the river appeared The Jack of Diamonds.
Blackthorn wanted to react but the necessity of being forced to win made him nervous. He must know what it was he was being forced to do.

"Sire... the stakes if you please?" Blackthorn kept his tone subservient if for nothing else than to keep the King mellow.

"As you wish," the tone was empty and hollow. "We are betting the throne. Should I win I'll be keeping it. If you win you shall be set upon the throne as the ruler of our kingdom."

A cold wind blew through the room. Blackthorn nervously pawed at the table. He didn't want this. While his King was an asshole he was also one of the few kings who had given a damn of his people as more than groveling servants. Arrogance masked the fact that the King took care of the elderly writing them off as invalids when he made sure to provide them a decent way of life and comfortable homes with some of his personal guards acting as their caretakers. Pride masked through his son provided the schools better teaching materials and did promote tolerance and respect for other races even though he himself saw pony guards as incompetent most of the time if only because they had never truly fought for survival like most other nations have done.

"Sire... Please reconsider... This is madness." A hoof was raised silencing Blackthorn.

"My decision. Show your hoof now Blackthorn." The tone was final. It meant that this game was for the fate of the kingdom. Quite literally in fact.

The hoof was flipped over. King Aspen had the Queen of Spades and the Queen of Clubs. There is was four of a kind. Blackthorn's frown intensified he had won but this felt so wrong... his cards flipped over and revealed his hand. A royal flush... by sheer luck.

"Hail the new king, " Aspen said aloud but he wasn't angry or disappointed. It was once again neutral. "Tomorrow we'll hold your coronation and send word to other dignitaries. We won't mention why for the change. If you require it I'll stay on as an advisor but nothing more."

"Yes sire."

"I'm not your king anymore Blackthorn. Remember that while you sleep."

Blackthorn left with his head spinning while Willow Reed enter the room closing the door behind her and leaving her alone with her now former ruler.

"Why did you do that?" There were tears in her eyes.

"Because there must be change. I'm too old for that. We need someone not painted by disappointment in the work of others and who can keep up with this changing world. I'm too old for that. Plus my temper has been getting worse since that chess incident. It's time for change." Aspen said wistfully staring out the window.

"No... not that. I'm saying why did you cheat!" Aspen's eyes went wide open.

"What do you mean?"

"I've seen you use that deck before back whenever you played pranks on your closest friends and for friendly games. That trick deck of yours I would
recognize anywhere." Her glare solidified on the former king.

"I see. You recognized it." The glare did nothing to him. The back of the cards had the emblem of his own house on it. The difference from the mass produced ones was that the tree had been painted bronze on his particular deck.

"Why?"

"I answered why. We need a better leader and I can't do that anymore. Unfortunately that stubborn fool is too loyal. He knows my deeds and sees merit in my demeanor. It had to be shaken and changed so he would have no choice in the matter. I also made it so he couldn't order me to return to the throne by telling him I would only be an advisor and only an advisor. His loyalty is strong but it must go towards our fellow deer. Not towards me."

Unsatisfied by the answer Willow merely nodded wiping the tears from her muzzle. King Aspen sighed as he watched his people trot around the streets of his city blissfully unaware just how much that their world was about to change.

"For now Willow I think it's time for tea. Would you mind serving me one last time?"

"For you sire of course." Willow bowed down a bit too deeply. This was the last time that King Aspen would be on the throne and it was her duty to serve faithfully.

For that night the world seemed to be at peace and during that night King Aspen smiled genuinely for the first time in many months.

Session 46.8 Kendell2

"It is a pleasure to meet you...King Blackthorn," Celestia said, seated at a table with the new Deer King. The former king Aspen sat in the advisory role he had chosen for himself.

The new King nodded. "Aspen said it would be wise to meet with out allies and affirm my positions...I'm still developing them..."

He had a meeting with the new Changeling King Thorax later that day. To his surprise, he discovered the Changeling's Father Deity was named Emperor Blackthorn. That would be confusing.

"A wise decision," Celestia replied with a smile. "I was shocked to hear King Aspen's decision...but I will attempt to help with what he desires to bring about...You have the same questions about my handling of certain events as he does, I imagine?"

Blackthorn nodded. "Specifically your security...or apparent lack of there of."

"I see," the Dayarch said, not angry, not defensive, merely motherly. "Tell me, Blackthorn, how do you define the word security?"

"The ability to keep your people safe."

"And why do you believe I am lacking in these qualities?"

"Allowing all these villains to escape their seals and reek havoc," the new deer king explained, trying his best to appear neutral. "Your guard seems borderline useless."

Celestia nodded. "I consider those personal failures...but allow me to answer your curiosity in a way Aspen never had the patience to actually hear out. That should be a good measure of if his faith in you bringing about understanding and change is well placed, would not?"

Blackthorn nodded slowly as Celestia's horn flashed and a boardgame appeared between them. It was some kind of strategy army management game.

"This is a game of my own design. I call it 'Our War Game'. Consider it a parable..." the Queen of the Day explained. "Every time I tried to play it with Aspen, he would have none of it. I hope you will humor me."

Aspen did indeed roll his eyes, but said nothing.

Blackthorn nodded slowly. "Alright, let's try."

"We'll play several games..." Celestia replied.

To Blackthorn's surprise, Celestia gave HIM the Equestrian set and herself a set representing King Sombra.

"Take note. There are no Bearers. No heroes. Only guards. As you can see in the stats, the guards are probably stronger than you anticipated."

Blackthorn nodded. "Yes...quite..." He was also surprised to find each and EVERY piece had a name and full bio with loved ones, goals, and ambitions.

"Remember. If this were an ACTUAL war, each and every piece you control would be a LIFE, Blackthorn. A person with loved ones and ambitions. Someone just as alive and real as you are. Your goal is to stop King Sombra. Now let's begin."

To say the game was brutal was an understatement. Sombra and his Crystal Pony slaves were a complete even match for his Celestia and Equestrian army...but that was the entire problem: it was EVEN. Causalities mounting on both sides.

In the end, he BARELY won...but at the cost of over 70 percent of his army and 80 percent of Sombra's, and destruction of infrastructure on both sides.

To make matters worse. With each death, Celestia showed the Crystal Pony's cards ALSO contained the same detailed bios of his own pieces, including the fact they were just brainwashed slaves with no agency over their actions. Celestia kept it to herself they'd learned that due to Starlight's time travel plot, but did mention the discovery of Sombra's study at the castle.

"You won, Blackthorn...was it really worth it?" the Princess of the Day asked, never becoming mean or condescending. Always kind and warm.

"Worth it? Seventy percent of my men are dead! And...I practically committed genocide!" the deer king muttered.

"Not to mention your surviving soldiers are now battlehardened soldiers with no war to fight and many of them suffering either physical loss or mental suffering due to the horrors of war," Celestia replied.

Blackthorn shuddered at the thought.

"Well you got Sombra back for it. Tit for tat, correct?" Celestia asked, in a rare moment shooting Aspen a look.

Blackthorn's eyes went wide. His hooves trembled a little bit.

"Next game..." Celestia said and reset the board. This time she played TWO pieces and two pieces alone: Discord and Lord Tirek. But both had stats that DWARFED even Celestia and Sombra pieces by such a margin it was blatantly unfair to face them head on.

In the end, Blackthorn managed to kill them both, but at the cost of 80 percent of his army.

Next was Chrysalis and her Changeling army. Like with Sombra, each and every Changeling piece had a name, a personality, and a detailed bio.

That one he lost, in large part due to the 'infiltration skill' exclusive to their cast.

"Now, I'll introduce more pieces to your side..." Celestia explained, placing Luna, Cadence, and figures of Twilight and her friends on his side. With fitting stats both in power and the Elements included. They were ALL he had...but it was all he needed.

The Elements and other means they provided made the battle, while still challenging and requiring strategy and thought, much easier than when he had an army. No losses.

"One final game, then we shall speak about the meaning of this," Celestia explained, resetting his side of the board and making her side a disconnected assortment of mundane criminals and a few organized crime syndicates.

Blackthorn found that, like with the mane six and princesses pieces, he beat them with effort, but it was doable. He had losses, but not NEARLY the 60 to 80 percent of his army.

"So...what have you gathered from this about open war with a foe powerful enough to make the world shake?" Celestia questioned, never losing her kind and motherly tone.

"...The only way to win is not to play..." Blackthorn admitted, expression and tone forlorn. Aspen was speechless.

"And when you have only a group of heroes with the strength and cunning to match those great evils?" Celestia continued.

"...You can win..."

"And when facing mundane criminals and malefactors with an army of well trained guards?"

"...You can win..."

Celestia nodded. "...'Security.' Your definition is keeping your people safe. The guard COULD win some of these situations...but why send over half my people to needless deaths when a group of heroes can win without losses?...You know how powerful myself and my sister are, correct?"

Blackthorn nodded. He hated to admit it...but he knew even Aspen was a fly compared to those two. To the damage they could cause if they ever truly tried.

"...Imagine if when Nightmare Moon returned, instead of arranging for my student and her friends to purify her, the two of us battled to the death. The power of two gods laid bare and fully unleashed."

The Deer King could only shudder at the thought.

"...Using the guard to battle these threats was ALWAYS a contingency. A plan B...because as you said, the only way to TRULY win that kind of game is not to play. Twilight and her friends can do the things my sister and myself once did with the Elements: use a weapon that can defeat great evil without the cost of war. If it's a great evil they are not needed to overcome, myself and Luna handle it quietly and quickly as possible. If it's mundane crime, the guard can and has handled it, thus why Equestria is so peaceful and happy...Now that you've seen this, do you understand why I fight my battles this way?"

Blackthorn nodded slowly. "...And allowing the evils to escape?"

"Simple: for every evil that has reemerged, many more remained sealed behind spells that hold strong," Celestia explained. "Tartarus has had only two breakouts in its thousands of years of operation...I am not perfect, I have failings and times I have fallen short. But my failings are just that: times I have fallen short. And that is something EVERY leader does eventually...it's only when they do not LEARN from it that they truly become a failure. I have checked many imprisoned evils and strengthened their seals. I told you I would handle it and I have."

Aspen said nothing...but lowered his head mortified. As Celestia had said, every single time Celestia and tried to show him this parable, he never listened. He never TRIED or WANTED to listen...because he was too busy thinking he MUST be right. That his beliefs were rock solid and should not change...

"Now, enough of this talk about drama and destruction," Celestia said. "How about we play Crystals and Rainbows 3.5?"

"I don't know what that is...but I think it's called for..." Blackthorn said with a deep breath.

Session 46.9 Kendell2

At the Hearth's Warming party, Rainbow Dash simply enjoyed the festivities (though she admitted the Princesses and Discord had probably outdone nearly every Hearth's Warming present ever).

"Rainbow Dash! Darling!"

Rainbow spat out her punch. "M-Mom?!" She turned to see Rainbow Dash Sr. behind her. "Oh! Mom! Hi...I knew dad would be here but I thought you'd be busy at work..."

"Oh, I finished early, darling. I wanted to see you for the holidays," the older Earth Pony replied, giving Rainbow a nuzzle.

Rainbow Dash blushed through her cyan fur. "Uh...yeah...that's cool. I'm so glad to see you."

"So am I. We hardly ever spend Hearth's Warming together anymore. Remember how we used to always make snow ponies? You loved stitching the hats with me."

"Y-Yeah...snow ponies...that was fun..." Rainbow Dash said, eyes darting around to make sure the other bolts weren't watching.

Rainbow Dash Sr. reached into her saddle bags and produced a present. "I brought you something, darling."

Rainbow took the present and looked at it. "Oh...thanks..."

"Well, open it, I want to see if you like it," the elder mare said.

The cyan pegasus sighed and opened the present, expecting some frilly dress or fancy hat she'd probably never wear...but instead found something unexpected.

She pulled out a scarf made out of a prismatic fabric that seemed to go through the colors of the rainbow when the light changed. It wasn't a typical scarf either, more like the bad flank ones some of the Masked Bug Riders wore. "This is...I..."

"Your friend Rarity taught me how to get the fabric. It seemed just so perfect for you, and now that you're a Wonderbolt this seemed a little more fitting a design for you, darling," Rainbow Dash Sr. said with a smile.

Rainbow slowly put it on, finding it made her look pretty bad flank if she said so herself. "...It's...actually pretty awesome...thanks mom..." she said, now feeling like a mule. no offense to the mules.

"You're welcome, darling!" the older Earth Pony replied. "Well, I'm going to go socialize! I hope you have a good evening!"

Rainbow Dash nodded as her mother waved...then looked down. Her eyes slowly wondered over to the CMC. "Hey...Mom?"

"Yes, darling?"

"Alright, you want to put the hat on, Scoots?" Rainbow Dash asked, the two Rainbow Dashes, the Crusaders, Button, Diamond, and Silver outside in front of a snow pony.

Scootaloo nodded and took the hat from Rainbow Dash Sr. and put it on the head of a complete (and well dressed) snow pony.

"Well done, darling," the elder Rainbow Dash said with a smile.

The two stood there watching the snow pony...

"...Mom?"

"Yes darling..."

"...There's something else that happens AFTER we make the snow pony if I remember right..." Rainbow Dash Jr. said with a smirk.

Rainbow Dash Sr.'s eyes widened. "Oh...I forgot about that...you don't need to do th-"

"SNOW BALL FIGHT!" Rainbow Dash called, throwing a snowball at her mother and hitting her in the face and knocking her hat off.

Rainbow Dash Sr. blinked, staring for a few moments through the cover of snow on her face....she then laughed. "...Alright, darling, you asked for it!" She admitted, having a kid like Rainbow Dash was the thing that had GOTTEN her to sometimes let her mane down and play 'dirty' activities like this.

The groups divided into Rainbow, Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Button Mash vs Rainbow Sr., Sweetie Belle, Diamond, and Silver.

Session 46.10 QuartzScale

"So..." Celestia was enjoying some tea while a small chess board was in front of her and former King Aspen. He merely looked at the board plotting his next move.

"No I don't regret my decision. My only regret is letting myself become what I was." Aspen moved his knight into an appropriate place and took a sip of his tea.

After the change Prince Bramble and him had some words. They weren't very nice either but both came to an understanding and a truth of his father's reign. King Aspen was just as long lived or immortal as Celestia and Luna. His ties to the very heart of the forest made him last so long as the forest remained. Bramble was the 10th son he had bless Faline's heart. They had the talk about the ruler that night which ended in shouting and many tears. Blackthorn had later mentioned that Bramble was technically his heir designate. He would take over should anything happen to him. That managed to perk him up but the road between father and son was going to be a long and harsh for recovery.

"That's not what I meant. I mean how long will this particular deer be your king?" Celestia tried her best to be warm but Aspen had always been one to guard his emotions. Their last game showed that only big motions could sway him... at least they were the only way before. Now he was a bit more on edge. Pawn was moved forward.

"As long as he can be. When his life runs out my son takes over then should he decide to he could either give it to his son or daughter while I continue to watch over my people the way I know how. I'm the old guard just like you and Luna are. I try to adapt with the times but sometimes it can get out of hoof." Aspen countered with a bishop.

"That seems a bit reckless don't you think?" Celestia's tone betrayed her but only for a moment. Concern etched on her face.

"No its progressive. Each ruler has something to add and its one of the viewpoints I have kept throughout my reign. Every 100 years I give one lucky buck the chance to rule over our kingdom while I watch over them and make sure they can handle it. Seven of them cracked under the pressure and two were considered Elysium sent when they brokered peace with certain tribes of reindeer and antelope. I'm always on retainer in case it gets to be too much. Every time they have given the throne back when they decided enough was enough." Aspen spoke candidly about their customs never noticing that Celestia surprise was painted on her muzzle. Rook takes knight.

"You've actually done that? But... what about King Sequoia? Wasn't he your first? Then you deposed him from the throne." Celestia moved her bishop to claim the rook.

"Yes but he was also a tyrant. While it is not well known he was not a very good leader. He led us into conflict with yaks back then which left us almost as isolationist as them. He was the first Heart of the Forest and by then he had failed in his task of keeping our people safe. It wasn't the way most history books would say it. The coup had been bloody but if you look in any pony history book it will say that he peacefully accepted that another would take the throne. He didn't." Aspen examined the board but there were very few places left that would keep him from losing the game.

"I see, " Celestia didn't know what to say. The deer had managed to close off their borders and most of her pegasi spies couldn't figure out what had happened. A week after that King Aspen formally met with Princess Celestia and set up the treaty between the nations. "I was wondering something else. You were much angrier back then was there any reason why?"

"Do you remember when Tirek managed to get out and apparently him and Princess Twilight were fighting outside the forest?" Aspen stopped looking at the board and stared directly at Celestia.

"Yes..." dread picked at Celestia's back.

"During that beam struggle that I heard about; Twilight's blast managed to break through many, many trees. Trees that Bramble was playing around because he didn't know better." Aspen absentmindedly moved a pawn forward.

Celestia's eyes widened. ‘Oh dear...'

"I don't blame her for that. Bramble was ok and Tirek was dealt with. As you made it clear all leaders make mistakes. My anger clouded my decisions and what didn't help was that Faline had passed so soon after. The constant dark times made it worse and right now I need to get better. I don't trust myself to be ruling right now and while Blackthorn will probably figure out how to get me on the throne again it will be a while until that happens." Aspen watched as the other rook came out.

"I hope my game didn't make things worse..." Celestia let her eyes glance off to the side where Blackthorn was in debate with Luna about something they couldn't hear.

"I'm glad you played it. I should have taken some time to try it out with you before hoof. Yet I was stuck in my ways again. While I know I'm old I didn't think I was getting to be that old. So for now I'm on a break. Whenever I feel I understand the world we are in better I'll just keep myself content in knowing I made a good decision in whom I placed on the throne." Aspen smiled as he moved his own bishop.

"Check."

Session 46.11 MagicMan001

Vordul was having a crummy winter.

Let's review: his only means of entertainment was broken, so now he'd no means of distracting himself from mind-crushing boredom. Worse, he'd jeopardized his position as the favorite nymph in his mother's eyes (that bucking inbred was going with her to crash Princess Twilight Flopple's party instead). Even more embarrassingly, after prematurely molting, he still hadn't developed a new chitin!

His body was a pale, sticky, flabby mess, as vulnerable as the day he hatched. Translucent slime seeped relentlessly through his pores and saturated the filly's sweater Mother forced him to wear to protect him from the cold (fat load of good that did!) Humiliating didn't begin to describe it. His exposed tender flesh swished and shivered like a huge jello bowl as he sulked miserably through the ruin hallways on Hearth's Warming Eve.

Hearth's Warming. Vordul hated the holiday. Once a year, pony colts and fillies woke up to a mountain of gifts under their Hearth's Warming tree. And he didn't! Because "changeling do not celebrate a commercialistic, nauseating claptrap holiday and blah, blah, blah!" Mother told him when he demanded an explanation about his distinct lack of yuletide goodies. "Besides, whatever you want, you know I'll get it for you anyway." He didn't care. If ponies got a ton of presents once a year, he deserved two tons!

Oh, and he was still hungry too.

Vordul's train of thought was disturbed when found himself in their ‘kingdom's' rec room, complete with pool tables where a couple of drones were playing, pinball machines, a vending machine and leather sofas. He trekked over to the sofa where he sighted his big sister curled up and strumming along on her guitar.

"S'up, Jiggles?" Imago mumbled apathetically. She paid him no heed as he heave-hoed himself onto the sofa next to her, but his constant grumbling under his breath and enormous, pasty white rump quivering in her direction were far too much to ignore.

She sighed, stopped strumming and took the bait.

"Okay. Why the long, fat face?"

"I'm freezing!" he bristled, face down in leather "And I'm hungry!"

"Well, maybe if you weren't such a morbidly obese turd, you wouldn't keep prematurely molting," she remarked without the faintest inkling of concern. "Oh, and thanks for ruining my favorite sweater by the way. You know, by all rights, I should be furious, but given how you and Mom have zero respect for my property to begin with, I stopped caring years ago."

Vordul actually managed to sit upright and hold out his greedy hooves.

"I need my huggies!"

She laughed mirthlessly, "Yeah, no!"

"Just turn into Mom for a few minutes," he whined, having the gall to put on the quivering lip act. "I need to get warm or I'll turn into a nymphsicle!"

"WOW. Okay, one: that's creepy beyond all reason, and two: I don't care. You are not getting your mucus on my guitar."

Imago hopped off the sofa and went over to knock a can of sparkling blue larva juice from the vending machine. She opened it with her fang and downed the whole can of toxic sugars and phosphates at once.

"So what am I supposed to do?!" Vordul sniffled. He started scooting along the leather in hope of creating friction burns.

She let out a deep, guttural burp, shattering the display window with its force. One of the changelings playing pool accidentally tore through the green felt with his cue. Vordul was impressed; even for him it required concentrated effort for him to turn his gas into a weapon. Maggie made it look like nothing but net.

"Well," she wiped the juice from her lips, "tell ya what, Sticky Buns? You know that tight-rumped Hearth's Warming party at Twilight Flopple's right now? The one Mom's taken Puka to?"

His puffy pale cheeks flushed green with jealousy at the thought of that inbred little puke been smothered with all of Mommy's attention and pony confectionaries.

"Yes..." the venom practically poured from his mouth.

Imago beaned one of the changelings across the head with her can. Rotten daggers flashed through her murderous grin.

"Let's crash it."

Session 46.12 Alex Warlorn

"CELLY DEAR!!!" Discord called in a singsong voice.

Celestia rolled her eyes. No longer Evil Incarnation or not, Discord could still get under your skin. "Yes Discord?"

Discord put on a pair of glasses and rolled out a scroll. "I would like to log a formal complaint about your recent tactical simulations with the newly appointed Deer King. The idea that a mere 80% of Equestria's armies would perish in a Killing War against the twin might of myself and Tirek, is insulting and belittling for an entity of my station. I've calculated that even if Tirek and I were fighting against each other, and Tirek started out at his weakest form, you'd lose 90% of your army at the bare minimum. And that's if everything went right for you and everything went wrong for me and Tirek. In particular if the girls and those oh so lovely Elements weren't available, Tirek's power could continue to feed on his own success with every pony he drained. While I could turn Royal Guards into mad ponies, that while dismal for long term strategy, would cause a feed back loop onto itself."

Celestia sighed. "I wasn't trying for 100% accuracy Discord, I was simply laying out the realities of war for King Blackthorn. And the realities of having the right ponies for the right jobs."

"I see... well, wanna play 4-1/2 D checkers?"

"Later. Opening presents."

"Okay."

"Don't worry Dissy, yours is over there."

"Dissy? Ugh! ... I'm the one who gives the pet names!" Discord opened his present... and turned into a draconequusling.

"Enjoy for 24 hours Dissy."

Session 46.13 sonicandmario826

The little draconequus grunted, "You're gonna pay for this 'Tia."

He suddenly heard a gasp and saw a yellow and pink blur heading his way. Before he could react he was pulled into a tight hug. "Oh Discord you look so adorable." He recognized the voice and saw that it was his dear friend Fluttershy.

Even though the draconequus had an annoyed look on his face he couldn't help but think, 'I guess it isn't that bad... but I'm still getting 'Tia back for this.'

Session 46.14 Ardashir

On the edge of the party, two wide-eyed unicorn foals -- one of them a male wearing a filly's attire -- looked around in awe. The male snatched some food from every tray he passed, even some belonging to other ponies. While the female, perhaps his sister, seemed to be looking for somepony in particular.

Not until they passed by a fearsome Changeling Queen did she gasp and drag her blubbery brother along with her to face Empress Blackrose.

"Grammy Blackrose!" The two foals hugged her enthusiastically.

"Foals, do I know you?" She blinked at the two unicorn foals. They grinned and returned to their normal selves in flashes of green fire. Blackrose gasped and hurried them behind a nearby curtain, closing the main party area off from the halls beyond.

"Grandnymphs!" She embraced the pair, wincing only a little at the touch of Vordul's bodily fluids. "You should not be here like this! Change back, now!" They tried giving her the pouty fangs. Blackrose frowned. They sighed and changed back to their pony forms.

"What are you two doing here?" Blackrose asked. "For that matter, where is your mother?" As they spoke they walked out from behind the curtain into the edges of the main room.

"Can we go home with you?" Imago asked. "Life with Mom, right now, well..."

Vordul turned away from his grandmother, almost inhaled a nearby tray of snacks -- "Food! Real food!" -- and nodded as the disgusted server headed back to the kitchens for more. "Yeah, life with Mom sucks these days now that she's a loser. Hey, why is that unicorn mare Crystal Winter grinding her teeth and glaring at us like... that..."

"Such charming foals," Crystal Winter snarled through gritted fangs as she walked over and gathered the two 'unicorns' up in a very tight embrace. "Pardon me, lady, but I'm supposed to be minding these two precious youngsters," she gave them both a hard 'friendly' pinch'. At Blackrose's glower, she added in a softly warning tone, "After all, nopony would want anything unpleasant to happen tonight of all nights, would they?"

"No," Blackrose said after a moment. "They wouldn't, would they," she leaned close and whispered, "Daughter?"

Crystal Winter gulped and hurried away with the two foals.

"What are you two doing here?!?" She hissed as soon as they found some privacy. "I left you both back at the new nest." She tilted her head. "Wait, how did you even get here? Nether of you have any money." Imago and Vordul immediately tried looking innocent. Crystal Winter's brow furrowed. Her lips peeled back in something like a snarl. "Where did you two get money?"

"Well, it was just laying there in your room, in the spell-locked safe, hidden behind the wall panel, with that Zebra voodoo doll of Starlight Glimmer that you stuck full of pins." Imago said. She giggled and opened a saddlebag she wore to show a collection of picks. "You only used a store-bought lockrite on it, too. Might as well have tried a bent pin."

"How do you know how to pick locks -- never mind!" Chrysalis took them both by the scruff of their necks. "I had a hundred bits in there!"

"It's okay, Mom," Vordul hurriedly said. "We rode here on the train, but it didn't cost anything!"

"What!" Winter shrieked. As several ponies gave her curious looks, she lowered her voice. "It would cost a hundred bits for you two to get here from the Badlands."

"Yeah, but tonight they were selling all tickets to the party for half off," Vordul said proudly. "So it didn't cost a hundred, it only cost fifty bits. So we bought them with the fifty bits you saved!"

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 46.0 QuartzScale
Session 46.1 Alex Warlorn
Session 46.2 Alex Warlorn
Session 46.3 Ardashir
Session 46.4 QuartzScale
Session 46.5 Kendell2
Session 46.6 Kendell2
Session 46.7 QuartzScale
Session 46.8 Kendell2
Session 46.9 Kendell2
Session 46.10 QuartzScale
Session 46.11 MagicMan001
Session 46.12 Alex Warlorn
Session 46.13 sonicandmario826
Session 46.14 Ardashir

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Cover art by VittorioNobile http://alexwarlorn.deviantart.com/art/Time-to-fight-633822327

Session 47

Session 47.0 Kendell2

Just realized we haven't introduced any of Chrysalis' HUMAN WORLD family...

"Chryssy!" called a voice at the Crystalsoft office.

Chrysalis jumped. "Uh oh..."

An older woman with a similar appearance to her, albeit with a yellowish tint and burnt rose colored hair came up and hugged her. The woman was dressed in a manner befitting wealth, though also with a gothic style.

"Long time no see!"

"Yes mother...you're hugging too hard..."

"Oh, sorry dear..."

"Mrs. Rosedust, glad to see you," said Sombra, approaching.

"Why hello, Sombra! Lovely to see you. How is Radiant doing?" she asked, like an old family friend.

"Who exactly is that?" Adagio asked Discord nearby, the trio working on a new music number.

"That's Rosedust, the founder of Avalon Incorporated." Discord explained. "Though I hear some people call her Blackrose due to a rather nasty divorce from her first husband and a stint in the goth crowd...still keeps the attire strangely enough."

"Isn't that like a huge botanical company?" Sonata asked.

"Yes. Of course Chrysalis' mother made her and her sisters work rather than spoiling them rotten. Most of her siblings work there but Chrysalis found her way into game design..."

"And why is she allowed to come up here and hug the VP of the company in front of everyone?" Aria asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Stockholder and major backer after our hostile takerover from Sombra's insane mother..." Discord explained, looking amused. "That and its funny."

Chrysalis blushed. "So, mother, are you just here to hug me or is this a business matter?"

"Oh! Yes!" Rosedust said, perking up. "Well, I heard about the...fun game your little Ira is about to produce."

Sombra gulped, recognizing Rosedust's expression. While she wasn't the majority stockholder, she did own quite a bit and provided a lot of funding for their games. "Yes...sorry, I honestly didn't expect her to get the funding for it..."

"Oh, don't worry, I'm not angry at YOU," Rosedust admitted, giving a reassuring smile. "But I noticed another game Radiant was planning using your cute pony characters...by the way, I've bought SO many of the plushies you've sold for them, they're so cute!"

Chrysalis hid her face and blushed at her mother's cutesy personality.

"But regardless, I believe the specific game's working title is 'Crystals and Rainbows'?'" said Rosedust.

"Oh, yes," Sombra replied, rubbing his head with an amused smile. "That one was Radiant's idea. It's a life sim and intended to just be a relaxing and innocent time for those that just want cute little ponies without violence...unfortunately, the Alpha testing didn't go well. Because Discord."

"Hey! It's not my fault you asked me to go from 'high fantasy RPG with terrifying villains' to 'sweet little pony life simulator and didn't give me the right budget!'" Discord defended. The fact he was a self professed troll probably didn't help.

"Honestly, I think the playtesters were overreacting, but production kind of stalled."

"Think if it got all the needed funding and the right people brought in, we could at least get it in Beta?" Rosedust suggested. "After all, what better to counter the potential backlash from one game than to put out another that's wholesome?"

"...Mrs. Rosedust, are you suggesting..."

"I AM a backer, are I not?"

Chrysalis was somewhere between humiliated and...impressed. "That...might actually be a good idea.

OOC: Basically, human Rosedust isn't estranged from her nearly as much.

I imagine the Crystals and Rainbows human world game would be basically a more polished version of G3 world (see :iconanimagicworld: 's work for what I imagine it being like, they do a good job and make a nice update on the G3 style) with stallions and some elements of MLPTs, but playing a bit like a mix of a Animal Crossing, Sims, and the Harvest Moon franchise.

Session 47.1 Alex Warlorn

"So Starlight, Trixie, Moon Dancer, Sunburst, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and Mina The Drakaina, fought an epic battle against the mane six... who had been corrupted into witches by an overlay reality created by a cursed role playing book?" Mayor Mare asked.

"And their pets turned into their familiars, don't forget about that part," Doctor Whooves explained.

"What about Spike?"

"I think he became their giant pet dragon or something."

"... At least that explains why Ponyville had ANOTHER giant dragon battle."

"Mina was sure to try and keep the fight away the populated areas."

"You think the girls would have built up an immunity with all the times they've been put under mind control."

"Well, this wasn't precisely mind control, reality distortion doesn't require direct mental dominance. Thankfully the curse only allowed for a overlay reality rather than a true reality change. Otherwise they'd also have had three little witchlings to face too."

Mayor Mare smiled and nodded and pretended she understood that.

"Hopefully this'll teach them about accepting cursed tomes from the damned of Tartarus."

+++

"I wish we'd gotten to keep the cool witch's hats and capes! They'd have made great Nightmare Night costumes!" Pinkie Pie said. "Not the part about turning foals into giant cookie ponies though."

"Discord said I looked 'ravishing' with my evil laugh." Fluttershy blushed.

'At least I got to turn Zephyr Breeze into a frog.' Rainbow Dash amazingly had the tact not to say out loud.

"Ah'm just happy this here place got repaired." AJ said, happy at the lack of smoking holes and tears in reality following the epic spell duel between Witch Twilight Sparkle and a good Starlight Glimmer. The less said her about apple monster verses the CMC's mechnical ModPodge the better. "AND! That Winoa and the others are back to normal."

"Well, it wasn't so bad that they could talk," Fluttershy said. "Even if they were evil like us."

Rarity replied. "Darlings, while I was able to make those outfits all look rather fashionable, this is an episode in our lives I'd prefer we could move past."

Twilight Sparkle smiled holding up a leather bound book with a rather graphic battle scene on the cover. "How about this RPG from Tirek? You play as Centaur Overlords trying to reconquer the world from the 'primitive equines?'"

Rainbow Dash cheered. "... That sounds like great idea! NOT!!! BURN IT!"

"One step ahead of you." Twilight said with a smile setting the cursed RPG book on fire.

Session 47.2 Alex Warlorn

"Dear Rarity Belle," AK Yearling wrote. "I can assure you, in my, research for Daring Do, I have never encountered Nightponies nor Wolfponies. Nor have I encountered any evidence to suggest they are real. While there have been theories about Thestral/Changeling and Earthpony/Diamond Dog halfbreeds, I have yet to encounter one. Should I ever, you will be the first to know.

"And even if I knew who Midnight Heart was, as a author, I would not tell you. I must respect her privacy and desire not to be publicly known, something I can greatly appreciate.

"But I will give you one piece of advice, there's a saying in the industry: 'writing a romance novel? Use an alias!'"

+

Rarity sighed. "Well, that was a dead end. Well, I have lost the battle, but I have not lost the war!"

+

"Mistress Rarity, Diamond Wolves have not found Wolfponies except in Dusk books. Great apologizes." Rarity's frozen north employee wrote.

+

Rarity sighed again. "And that one was no good."

+

"FOR THE LAST CLOPPING TIME! WE ARE NOT HALF NIGHTPONY! THOU SHALL CEASE IN THY QUESTIONS REGARDING THIS! WE ART SICK OF THIS! OUR SISTER CELESTIA AND WE ARE FULL BLOODED SISTERS! SUCH SCANDALOUS ACCUSATIONS WILL NOT BE HUMORED!"

+

Rarity's eyes bulged at the letter. "Well, I see I may have hit a nerve."

+

"We do not know of any creatures resembling the Nightponies. And I have no idea how you got my mailing address, we shall send a memory erasure squad at your home at our earliest, wait what? That's illegal now? Would be considered an act of war? No! Don't write that down you idiot!"

+

Rarity blinked at the letter. "Well, that was unexpected. Maybe I should ask Twilight to do some memory restoration sweeps around Ponyville just to be on the safe side." Thens he grinned. "And I bet if the Nightponies and wolfponies are real, we could find some hidden memories!"

"Rarity! I thought we were gonna be playing Alicorn Princesses!" Sweetie protested. She'd drawn the next challenge card for her Princess Cadence figurine. 'Sing a beautiful musical number about something mundane.' (Sweetie had then proceeded to do a beautiful verse about tea time).

"OH yes, sorry Sweetie, just checking my mail," She draw the card for Twilight Sparkle who she was playing as. "'Little Miss Perfect: invariably succeed at whatever challenge you try next.' Hm. I wonder if she'd take that as a stereotype or a compliment."

Session 47.3 Alex Warlorn

Sunny Flair, a visitor from a parallel world, was selling her new book, 'How To Make The Dungeon Master Your Slave.'

It was awkward she was surrounded by four legged nudists, but when she insisted that she be paid in gems, ponies were more than happy to oblige, given their lower market value than on Earth. Forget how rare they were, the fact they formed in 'cut' shapes to begin with, already made them insanely lucrative to get here and then sell back on Earth.

Apparently the pony clone of Twilight Sparkle and the Wondercolts were in this world's version of Canterlot where this world's Discord was going through a midlife crisis. (Sunny Flair had read the rumors online her Discord had once been under house arrest and rumors to have been principle of CHS before Celestia, like Sombra was apparently once principle of CP but those were all just rumors... like Vice Company President Chrysalis have mob connections).

Sunny Flair was also surprised at how quickly she was able to get the book to print in an insanely fast amount of time, with some teenage mare with no legal background, apparently things were just... nicer here.

"'How To Make The Dungeon Master Your Slave,' isn't that rather self defeating since you're a Dungeon Master yourself?" Asked a cool calm voice.

Sunny Flair smiled. "Oh I've kept some counter strategies for myself, and my next book is going to be titled, 'How To Break The Wills Of Yours Players'." Sunny realized she knew that voice. "Uh-oh."

The four legged naked except for her glasses Sugarcoat looked down at her. (Her name being ironic was rare indeed even here). "Where's Lemon Zest? Indigo Zap is looking for her."

"The way you two keep coming back here for us, people might get some ideas." Sunny Flare managed to say.

"I have a preference for both your company. And I believing running away does not solve problems. Now answer the question."

"This line is for buy books."

"And I will after you answer the question."

"She wanted to go see that freaky chimera that wanted her as family."

-

"I am now a perfect daughter for a perfect being." Lemon Zap said, a grin on her face with pin pricks, her mind subsumed by Accord.

"Yes. Join us. Join Accord." Princess Luna and Princess Twilight said.

"This is not good." Indigo Zap said, this world of flying around naked not as cool as it had been a second ago.

"Ya think?" This world's Rainbow Dash said her eyes glued on her brainwashed friend and Princess.

Session 47.4 Ardashir

"Hey, wait a minute," Rainbow Dash dodged a spell blast from Princess Twilight. "This is one odd time to be asking this, but where the heck are your other friends?" 'Equestria doesn't need any more problems right now'.

"Those losers?" Indigo Zap sniffed as she dodged a spell blast from Princess Moon-butt, or whatever these horses called her. She made sure to cut it even closer than Dash's; like she'd let some primitive alien outdo her. Hey, life was competition, after all. And when you were the best you could afford to show off. "Sugarcoat is checking in on Sunny Flare back in Horseburg --"

"Ponyville!" Another spellbolt sizzled by. Dash felt her mane scorch. "Yow!"

"Whatever." Zap rolled her eyes. "I'm here, luckily for you since this way you get to bask in my awesomeness --" She lazily rolled to the side as Luna shot again.

Dash wondered if she'd ever been that arrogant. Zap just kept talking.

"And Sour Sweet is back in Ponyville. She's, like, supposed to keep an eye on the mirror gate from this end, but she's probably gonna end up challenging someone to a contest." Zap ducked another shot, and suddenly raced in to buck Luna in the jaw. Normally the Night Alicorn would never have felt it, but she was in the air and off balance. The kick sent her into Twilight, and sent them both crashing to the ground.

"Yeah!" Zap hoof-pumped. She smirked at Dash. "Yeesh, why were you so scared of those two losers?"

"Because it's not just those two --"

"ACCEPT ACCORD!" A hundred voices thundered cheerily.

Zap and Dash looked up to see what looked like a third of the Royal Guard, the Pegasus third flying at them with fixed maniacal grins.

Zap and Dash looked at each other.

"Time to run," Dash said.

Zap's grin was almost as demented as one of Accord's ponies.

"No, time to RACE!"

She flew off with a wild laugh, whipping her tail up mockingly at the Guardsponies. Wondering which of them was crazier, Dash followed her.

Meanwhile back at the Ponyville side of the Mirror Portal:

"Yay! I win!" Archer stopped jumping up and down. The three targets she'd shot at, set against the back wall of the Friendship Palace, showed three arrows in their precise centers -- which had just been split down the middle by HER three arrows. "I do, right?"

"Of course you do, sweetie," Sour Sweet said, one eye twitching. She'd been guarding the gate, but when she saw that foal practicing their archery... She snarled, "But don't depend on beginner's luck, kid!"

Session 47.5 Mooncalf99

Trixie trotted down the stone path to her cottage with a spring in her step and a smile on her face. It was late, almost evening, and she was tired from a long day, but she was nonetheless in a good mood.

She pushed the door open with her hoof, noticing a little too late that it wasn't closed properly, and stepped inside with a sigh of relief as it shut behind her. With a flick of her horn, she lit the candle...

...And the changeling looked back at her, teeth bared. "Welcome home... Trixie."

"Eeee!" Trixie squealed in delight, her wings flaring with excitement. "Auntie! Moonlight, moonlight, fireflies alight..." she sang, hopping excitedly.

Duchess Chrysalis obligingly joined in with the foalish dance and song. "Clap your hooves..."

"And shake with all your might!" they finished together, shaking their tails about. They both laughed happily.

"Haah... it's good to see you, my little princess," Chrysalis said, after catching her breath. "You're always so busy. Busy, busy, busy."

"Auntie, please," Trixie admonished. "Just Trixie is fine. And there's a lot to do, running Equestria now that Sombra... now that..." She fell silent at the thought.

"There, there." Chrysalis enveloped the young alicorn in a loving hug, chasing the sadness away. Changelings excelled at spreading love to the needy - a much-needed balm during those dark times of yesteryear, as well as now - and none was more adept than Duchess Chrysalis. "You know that he did it to save Celestia and Luna, and in turn all of us. And where there's life, there's hope. We'll find a way to save him."

"I suppose," Trixie said with a wan smile. "I just miss him, that's all. The Sisters are doing their best to help, but it's not the same."

"I'm just glad you managed to convince them that they didn't need to atone by punishment or exile or some other foolish thing," Chrysalis muttered. "Some ponies just can't grasp forgiveness. Besides, they're little use locked up in a dungeon when they could help others instead."

"Ah, you always see the best in others," Trixie giggled.

Chrysalis laughed. "I try. Now, let's put those gloomy feelings aside and focus on something more fun... like tonight's game! Did you prepare a character like I asked?"

"Oh, yes!" Trixie said. "I have a few ideas, actually, but I need to know what kind of game we're playing." She grinned wryly. "So what's it going to be about? Uniting starcrossed lovers? Saving the orphanage? Rescuing kittens from trees?"

Chrysalis gave her an unamused look. "Are you trying to make some kind of remark on my play style, young lady?"

"I'm just saying, auntie," Trixie retorted glibly. "You do have a gift for... certain things, after all, and they've been known to crop up in the past. It's not bad, per se..."

"Well, humph," Chrysalis muttered. "If you must know, I have been planning something more classic. Old school, if you prefer. A bit of simple hack and slash, exploring dungeons, fighting stereotypical villains." She grinned impishly. "But if you must bring it up... how are you doing on the romantic front? Any stallions catching your eye lately? Or mares? Hmm?"

"Auntie, please!" Trixie said, blushing deep purple. "I'm just far too busy for that... that stuff!"

"No such thing, dearie," Chrysalis chuckled. "You really should allow yourself a little fun once in a while. You're not getting any younger, you know."

"I'm an immortal alicorn, auntie," Trixie said matter-of-factly. "I'm fairly certain I'm not getting any older either."

"Yes, well, there are still opportunities every day and you are missing out," Chrysalis said.

"I'll have time for that later, I'm sure. For now, it's enough to spend time with friends, like tonight." Trixie grinned and brought out her notes. "Now, I was thinking for a character..."

A while later, the air in the middle of the room rippled and a lavender unicorn burst into existence. She immediately collapsed into a recliner. "Whoo. Girls, am I spent or what?"

"Glimmy!" Trixie cheered. She rushed over and gave her friend a warm hug. "Busy day?"

"Very much so," Starlight Glimmer groaned. "Very productive, though."

"Do regale us with tales of Equestria's busiest life coach," Chrysalis said. She walked over to Trixie's kitchen nook to make some tea.

Starlight took a deep breath and collected herself. "This morning, I was over in Our Town, where my friends were discussing plans for the new recreation center. Turns out that almost everypony had plans for different activities, and they couldn't decide exactly what the place should be set up for. Sugar Belle wanted a kitchen, Double Diamond wanted to turn the whole place into a gym, Party Favor had this idea for a theater, and Night Glider... well." She shook her head ruefully. "Everyone wanted their favorite thing and got into a fight over it when I got there."

"So what did you choose?" Chrysalis said.

"I didn't choose anything," Starlight said. "You can't just pick one thing over everything else in these situations, or a lot of ponies will be upset. Well, ponies, griffons, changelings, minotaurs... you know. And it's not my place to decide anyway. Instead I suggested a flexible setup with rooms that could be used for different things, so anypony could do anything they wanted."

"Clever!" Trixie congratulated. "It's going to make the whole project a lot more difficult, though."

"I have no doubt that they'll overcome those difficulties," Starlight said confidently. "Challenges bring out the best in all ponies, after all. Anyway, after that, I went to Ponyville Town Hall to hold a presentation on self-actualization."

"Ponyville, huh..." Trixie mumbled.

"Sadly, I didn't see any of those six," Starlight said, a touch of disappointment in her voice. "But it did go pretty well with those attending. At least until Big Macintosh showed up."

"Oh dear," Chrysalis said. "Did he cause some kind of scene again?"

"Not unless you consider hitting on me in the most crass and obvious ways possible to fit the bill," Starlight said, making a disgusted face.

"That colt gives love a bad name," Chrysalis said dispprovingly. "It's a shame, really. If he'd keep his mouth shut and let his good looks do the work, he'd be neck deep in mares and stallions."

"Yikes," Trixie muttered, blushing at the unbidden image. "So how did that go?"

"Well, I finished the presentation fairly well despite his constant muscle flexing and mane flaring and constant talk, but of course he had to follow me out and keep going at it," Starlight continued. "But then we crossed paths with Sweetcream Scoops, and he took after her in a shot."

"Predictable," Chrysalis muttered. "Points for challenging himself, though. There's a reason they call her 'Icecream Scoops'."

"I thought that was because of her job?" Trixie asked.

"No, dear, that's because she's really, really... well, let's just say he's not getting any there," Chrysalis said.

"Get any what?" Trixie wondered.

"Then I zoomed over to the Palomino desert!" Starlight continued quickly, averting a potentially embarrassing tangent. "Sunburst wanted my opinion on his latest spell project."

"Oh dear," Chrysalis lamented. "What did that crazy colt come up with this time? Something that exploded?"

"No," Starlight said. "Well, yes, but not intentionally."

"Let me guess. Another bout of his 'throw magic at the wall and see what sticks'?" Trixie asked.

"You know it," Starlight said. "Never planning, never researching, that guy. As soon as he comes up with a new idea, he has to test it right away, in the most volatile way possible. I keep telling him to check the books, see if somepony else has done the same thing and how that turned out. I tell him, 'You don't have to reinvent the wheel, Sunburst,' and he looks at me and asks..."

"'Then how will we ever make a better wheel?' the trio said together. Starlight sighed. "Yeah."

"You should ask him out on a date," Chrysalis suggested. "That would take his mind off things."

"Chryssy, he's my friend," Starlight said pointedly. "I've known him all my life. Dating would be... awkward."

"I admit, when I met him at first I thought you two were siblings," Trixie said. "I'm suprised you didn't bring him along tonight, honestly. Have you two ever been apart for more than a day?"

"I was going to, but... skin grafts, you know. Don't ask." She shook her head. "And yes, we have. There was that time he got his cutie mark and his parents whisked him away to Canterlot, and... that was the most terrifying time of my life, ever." She paused somberly. "But then he came back three days later and couldn't stop talking about everything he'd seen and heard and begged me to come and join him. And when I realized how happy he was... that's when I got this." She patted her own cutie mark lovingly.

"Ah, yes. Your talent for bringing out the uniqueness and personal potential in yourself and others," Chrysalis said. "So, your date..."

"NO!" Starlight said. "Chrysalis, I said. We're friends."

"Yes, which is an excellent place to start," Chrysalis persevered. "It certainly beats trying to date your enemies." She paused. "Though it might just work for Trixie..."

"I have no intention of dating Twilight Sparkle," Trixie said tersely. This was not the first time the topic had come up.

"You're not really connecting with that mare with your usual approach, though," Chrysalis argued. "Maybe you could catch her by surprise with a clever seduc--"

"La la la not listening!" Trixie sang loudly, covering her ears. "Not listening at all!"

"Maybe we can focus on what we came here for, instead of... embarrassing distractions," Starlight suggested.

"Oh, you two are no fun," Chrysalis pouted. "A nice date or two would do you good. But, whatever you say."

"Good, good," Starlight said, mollified. "I was thinking of playing a ranger this time. And how many sacred vows will Trixie's monk have?"

"No, I'm going to try something new this time," Trixie corrected her. "You know, seeing as how we were going to play a classic setup, with bad guys and good guys..."

The room was suddenly cut through by a bolt of plaid lightning, sending papers flying and furniture rocking. A tall, imposing figure in red and purple costume stepped out of the chaos, striking a heroic pose as everything returned to normal behind him. "Did somepony call for... a good guy?"

"Captain Goodguy!" Trixie exclaimed. Sure enough, it was the hero in question, in all his tall and mismatched draconequusish glory. "Thank goodness you're here!"

"Have no fear, dear princess," Captain Goodguy said boldly, shifting from his heroic pose into a different heroic pose. "Now, how can I help?"

"Actually, I'm sure everything is under control here, captain," Chrysalis said, stifling a giggle. "We were actually waiting for our friend Sir Discord to join us for tonight's game..."

"Ah, my upstanding and noble sponsor and friend, who's far too modest and reserved to ever join me for those photo shoots, much to the lament of our many admirers and the occasional unreliable conspiracy theorist," Captain Goodguy declared heroically. "No doubt he's on his way here, but got intercepted by some puppies in need of rescuing. Goodness knows that happens to me far more often than it should." He paused. "Seriously, though. What is it with the puppies in this town?"

"Well, it would be nice if he'd get over here sometime soon," Chrysalis said, still grinning widely. "We do have some things planned. Besides, it's hardly proper to keep ladies waiting, no?"

"You are entirely right, most esteemed duchess, and--" His eyes suddenly widened, and he pointed at nothing in particular behind them. "Now, what is that distracting thing?" With the three girls conveniently distracted, Captain Goodguy dodged into a convenient phone booth (the lack of existing public telephone service in Equestria nonwithstanding), and Sir Discord stepped out, adjusting his glasses carefully. "Hey, girls. Sorry I'm late!"

"Discord!" Trixie exclaimed. Sure enough, it was the unassuming Canterlot philanthropist in question, in all his nebbish and mid-mannered draconequuish glory. "Thank goodness you're here. We were wondering what kept you!"

"Oh, you know how it is, holdups, trains running late, puppies," Discord said, waving his paw dismissively. "It's awfully time-consuming, being a full-time freelance photographer, newspaper journalist, lazy billionaire with no day job, and newspaper delivery colt. Though my claw is healing nicely after that haycart driving accident, so I may not have to give up my job as a surgeon after all."

"Good to hear," Starlight agreed. "Can't have you wasting time developing a self-destructive drinking habit or whatever it is you're supposed to have these days. I won't stand for it. Addiction will never bring out your potential."

"Too true," Discord agreed. "I don't need anything tragic like that, anyway. Speaking of which, my parents send their regards. They're quite happy and healthy on their farm, along with my uncle who taught me about responsibility. I did have to get rid of their fridge, though, just in case..."

"Discord, I think that's enough pointless lampshading," Chrysalis said.

"Aw, but they brighten up the room so well," Discord protested. He chucked the remaining shades into a closet. "Maybe you should get a proper rug, Trixie. One that really ties the room together. I know this guy..."

"Discord," Chrysalis interrupted him, again. "Didn't I ask you for a favor earlier? You didn't forget, did you?"

"Favor? A favor? I don't remember...oh!" Discord facepawed. "Oh no, it completely slipped my mind! Oh, he must be all alone up in the--hehehe! Kidding!" He blew the changeling matriarch a playful raspberry. "Of course I remembered. He's just getting some more snacks, since I couldn't remember if Trixie lived on only water and unflavored bread or not."

"I'm not completely ascetic," Trixie protested. "I just like to keep my meals simple, and... wait, who's coming?"

The door suddenly swung open, and a tall and proud changeling stepped inside. His black chitin gleamed healthily, and his wings buzzed with excitement. Several bags of snacks and other gaming supplies hovered behind him. "Hey, hey, hey, guess who's back in town?"

"Thorax!" Trixie squealed, and leapt at the changeling, catching him in a strong hug. "Aw, you're back! I thought you were on assignment up north!"

"Missed you too, little honorary broodmate cousin," Thorax said, hugging her back. He grinned at Chrysalis. "Hi, mom."

"It's so good to see you again, sweetheart," Chrysalis said, her motherly love almost tangible, even for non-changelings. "Look at you. Have you gotten taller?"

"Aw, mom..." Thorax mumbled bashfully. Parental embarrassment wasn't restricted to just ponies, after all.

"So how are things looking up north?" Starlight inquired, hoping that a change in topic might save the young changeling from further torment.

"Not too good, I'm afraid," Thorax said, taking a seat next to Chrysalis. "The Empress is as strong as ever with the Crystal Heart in her hooves, and the Sisters' change only drove her to fortify her position further, fearing that we'll 'corrupt' her too. And she recently had a foal, too. With that stallion she keeps around..."

"Shining Armor," Trixie mumbled sorrowfully. "Sparkle's brother. Poor soul..."

"Right," Thorax said. "Apparently she kept the pregnancy secret up until the last moment. As for the foal, there's a lot of rumors buzzing about among Cadenza's slaves. That it's actually an alicorn, or a mindless berserker trained to fight from the womb, or... other things. Sadly, I haven't been able to get close enough to see for myself. I tried to ingratiate myself with Shining Armor earlier, since I assumed he'd be her greatest victim and would fight back the hardest, but..." He shook his head. "The poor stallion's so brainwashed, he's besotted. He genuinely thinks she loves him. I nearly lost my wings before I managed to escape."

"Oh my dear heart!" Chrysalis exclaimed in horror. She quickly ran a hoof over his back to reassure herself that he was whole and healthy after all. "That was a bad idea, son. Do you want to give me a heart attack?"

"Don't worry, mom," Thorax said dismissively. "Once the heat's died down, I'll come up with a new cover and try a different approach!"

"You'll do no such thing!" Chrysalis almost screeched. "I won't risk you again. I'll have a talk with Vordul and he'll find you a nice, safe assignment somewhere you won't risk anything."

Thorax shook his head. "Mom, you know you can't do that. I'm the only changeling with the skills for this job. Who'd do it in my place? Imago? Pupa? Vordul?" He laughed. "Brother may be brilliant, but master spy he is not. And the rest of the family... no, it's got to be me."

"I just don't want any of my children to get hurt," Chrysalis said. "Is that too much to ask for?"

"Yeah, but..." Thorax mumbled.

"Hey, maybe we could focus on the game we're here for instead?" Trixie interrupted. "I did pull a few strings to get the evening off and all. And Blueblood's managing the soup kitchen well enough, but there's still a lot to do, and..."

"Oh, you just don't want to hear about him getting into trouble either," Discord mumbled softly so only she could hear. Louder, he said, "Yes, let's have some fun now that we're all gathered! So, kindest and dearest Oubliette Overseer, what sort of adventure can we look forward to tonight?"

"Oh, you are going to like this," Chrysalis said, picking up her notes as she mentally shuffled away her family woes for later. "It's a tale of adventure, intrigue, and cunning. You four will be called upon to infiltrate the fortress of a terrible tyrant to save the captive heroes of the land."

"Ooh, I like it," Starlight cooed. "Unlikely heroes standing strong when the call for aid is heard? That's gold."

"Well, my wizard should be able to handle anything you can throw at us," Discord said. "I did spend quite a bit of work rolling him up and all."

Chrysalis chuckled almost malevolently, an eerie tone coming from her. "Don't be too sure about that, because I have... ways to counter that. Let's hope you have some other tricks up your sleeve."

"Ooh, that sounds ominous!" Trixie said enthusiastically. "Well, um... Trixie is ready for anything! I hope," she added bashfully.

"Good, good." Chrysalis rubbed her hooves together with a giggle. "All right, Trixie and Starlight, you're currently in a small village, and have returned from a long journey..."

(Inspired by Tales From The Dark Side Of The Mirror by GrimWolf)

Session 47.6 Mooncalf99

The lone changeling courier landed on the roof of Duchess Chrysalis' hive lair (actually a rather nice countryside manor, but she'd had to at least pretend to oblige some of the more hidebound traditions of her rival courts), and made his way to the intelligence central, and also kitchen. "Hey, report for you, Big V," he chirped snarkily as he dropped a stack of papers on the messy counter.

Vordul just rolled his eyes at the double-meaning nickname. "Thanks, Memb. Punctual as usual, bro." He gave the other changeling a hoofbump and a burst of familial love. "You heading out again?"

"Yeah, I have to get back to my team," Membrane said, energetic as ever. Nothing invigorated like a helping of appreciation for a job well done. "Hey, where's mom?"

"In Canterlot, hanging out with her friends and goofing off while we lowly drones have to work our chitin off, running the hive," Vordul said with a good-natured laugh. "By the way, Thorax is back from the north."

"Really? Wow, I haven't seen the little grub in ages," Membrane said. "Maybe I'll catch up with him later." He shrugged and left.

Vordul gazed after his brother, wistfully wondering what it would be like to work in the field, and be able run fast and be slim. Unfortunately, his duties kept him stranded smack dab in Love Central, where just the ambient love energies passing back and forth was enough to gorge him. (Although his addiction to rich pony food might have been a contributing factor. Say what you want, but 'cooking with love' would always mean 'deep-frying in boiling oil'.) Thus they called him 'Big V' for reasons beside his authority.

Vordul took the latest reports in hoof and began analyzing them even as his magic almost autonomously levitated three deep-friend carrots into his gluttonous maw. Scanning each paragraph methodically, his razor-sharp brain absorbed each piece of info down to its vital elements, cross-referenced it against previously gathered facts, sought out connections, and made projections for the future.

"Empire's still a threat, huh..." he muttered. Need more data, maybe someling who can be subtle for once... Thorax klutzed up, so Pinkflank's gonna be on alert for a while. Need to send a diplomat to the Yaks, figure out how they operate... and if they're thinking of allying with the Empire. Sure, Pinkflank prefers brainwashed slaves to actual allies, but you never know... Spinnerette can do it, especially if we need to wreck a preexisting alliance. And these Diamond Wolves... all current evidence indicate a negligible factor with no strong connections, but the Empire may be able to buy their support, especially if they're like the Diamond Dogs... but then, so could we. We could probably get the hard facts on them from the Diamond Dogs, and we do need to reinforce that alliance soon anyway... He grinned. "Of course... Imago."

New plan formed in full, the changeling strategist scrawled down the vital decisions on order papers and signaled for a courier to carry them out. Stuffing his mouth full of deep-fried apples and deep-fried fries (his own contribution to the culinary arts: double deep-frying. Obvious in hindsight, really.) and set out on the most challenging part of his plan: actually walking all the way to Imago's room. He was just relieved it didn't involve stairs - his personal nemesis. (In Vordul's mind, Empress Cadenza was at best the second greatest terror of the Frozen North.)

One arduous trek to the other side of the manor later, he was knocking on his sister's door. "Hey, Imago. Imago? I've got a job for you."

The door swung open reluctantly, revealing his sister. Imago was every inch a changeling matriarch in the making: beautiful, graceful and captivating, with impeccably maintained chitin and mane, both of which nonetheless conveyed that 'not making an effort' kind of beauty. But then, she could be nothing else - mother had spared no effort in grooming her to be her successor and future ruler of the hive when she herself eventually retired to enjoy her golden years in peace. (Of course, as a proper changeling queen she was immortal, so she'd have a lot of those years.)

If Vordul hadn't been a creature who lived and breathed love and affection, he might have been jealous of his sister's grace, beauty and ability to walk more than a hundred feet without stopping to catch her breath. As it were, he was simply proud to have her as his sister. Of course, all changelings in the hive were his brothers and sisters, since they had the same mother (who made it abundantly clear that she loved each and every one of them from the very bottom of her heart, noling lesser than any other), but he and Imago had hatched together, and grown up close together. They had always had a special bond.

"Hey, Immy," he said.

"Hey, Vordy," she replied. "You have barbecue sauce all over your face."

"...Oh," he mumbled in shame. Inwards, he cursed himself. Mom may have given up on trying to squash his habit of pigging out, but she nonetheless persisted in insisting that he'd keep himself clean when he was among others. And here he was, a complete mess in front of his favorite sibling. Grossing out your sister was something you did when you were a larva, not a proper adult.

"Come here, you." Imago magicked up a napkin and wiped him clean. "There, that's better. Now what brought you here, Vordy?"

"I need you to go on a diplomatic mission," Vordul said reluctantly. He never felt comfortable giving orders to his sister, even if it was his job. "A trip to the Diamond Dog Warrens, making sure we're on good terms and stuff."

"Oh," she said, her voice filled with the lack of enthusiasm. "Okay."

"I'll have an escort ready so you can set out in the morning," he continued, a little disconcerted by her response. "Some attendants to make sure the dogs take you seriously, too. And we're gonna need some intel, so I'm sending a diplomat or two with you. You can coordinate with them if you want to do the fact gathering yourself and not just play goodwill ambassador. Could be fun."

"Fun, right," Imago muttered, practically not at all leaping with excitement. "Anything else?"

"Not really," he said uncertainly. "It's not much of an assignment, but I figured you'd enjoy the practice. You know, preparing for the day when you're in charge."

"Yeah... great," she mumbled with all the excitement of a bowl of tepid gruel. "Okay, see you in the morning." She slammed the door shut in his face.

Vordul stumbled back, feeling more discombobulated than that time when he'd tried some griffon delicacy involving fish that had been buried for seven years. Imago was clearly not facing this assignment with the enthusiasm he'd expected. She had been moping a lot lately, which he had ascribed to the boredom of not getting anything important to do. But then she should have felt better with this, which she didn't. So that hypothesis was right out.

And she hadn't played her guitar in months, which was a real drag. He loved some music. Once, mom had invited Maud Pie - aka the Element of Good Cheer - over, and they had practically blown the roof off the house. Good times.

He banged on Imago's door again. The facts were incontrovertible - sis was not feeling well.

Imago opened the door, staring blearily at him. "What do you want now, Vordul? I was trying to sleep."

"How are you feeling, sis?" he asked earnestly.

"Uh, tired?" she replied. "Leave me alone."

"Something's bothering you, isn't it?" he asked.

"I'm fine, Vordul," she said with rising annoyance.

"No, you're not," he replied. He stuck out a hoof, preventing the door from closing.

"Go away, Vordul," she said angrily.

"Hmm... no," he said. He stepped forward into her room. Corpulence did have a few benefits, one of which being that a lightweight like Imago couldn't really stop his momentum.

"Get out of my room, Vordul!" she yelled.

"Since when have you ever wanted to keep me out, sis?" he persisted.

"Since NOW, you big... you... you... you," she finished lamely.

It was time for the secret weapon. He stepped forward and enveloped Imago in a warm hug, sharing his pure and unadulterated love for his sister. He usually kept it reined in, because it packed quite a punch, but right now... she needed it. "I want to help you, Immy," he said softly. "But I can't do that if I don't know how to do that. You need to tell me. Please."

She began sobbing softly. "That was low, Vordy..."

"Sorry," he mumbled, patting her gently on the back.

"Promise you won't tell mom," she said.

"...What?" he blinked in confusion. Since when did they keep secrets from their mom?

"Promise you won't tell any of this to mom," she repeated. "Or anyling else. Or any pony or... you know, anything else."

"Okay, I promise," he said earnestly.

Imago was silent for a moment before speaking. "Do you like doing what you do, Vordul? I mean, the strategizing and gathering reports and stuff? Could you see yourself doing it for the rest of your life?"

"Well, sure," he replied, bemused. "It's fun. And it's useful for the hive."
.
"Right, fun," Imago muttered. "Useful. Do you think the others like their jobs too? Thorax, Membrane, Mandible, Spinnerette... mom?"

"...Probably?" he ventured. "I can't say for sure unless I actually ask them. Where are you going with this?"

"Vordul, I don't want to rule the hive," Imago stated.

Vordul stared at her. He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again when he couldn't find the right words to say. Or, for that matter, the right words to understand. "What? he finally asked."

"Vordy, I don't want to take over the hive after mom," Imago elaborated. "I don't want to be in charge. I don't want the responsibility." She took a deep breath. "Just the thought of having to make all the decisions... everyling expecting me to know what to do... having to deal with every problem, every consequence... just thinking about it keeps me up at night, Vordy. And then there's dealing with the other courts! They're not nice changelings, Vordy..."

"Then what do you want to do instead?" Vordul asked.

"Dunno," Imago admitted. "Live by myself, maybe. Go among the ponies like mom did for a while. Perhaps become a school teacher, surround myself with little grubs... I mean foals. Something simple." She sighed. "Ponies have it good. They can be whatever they want to be. They don't get hatched into the life someling else planned for them."

"I've been told nopony asked cousin Trixie if she actually wanted to become an alicorn," Vordul pointed out. Trixie wasn't a changeling in the strictly biological sense, but their mother had 'foalsat' her - played with her, taught her things, kept her safe, the same way she did with her own spawn - so she was generally regarded as family, at least informally.

"Trixie's an alicorn princess," Imago pointed out. "That's way different from a regular pony. Noling - nopony - tells a princess what they can and can't do. Could you imagine a pony telling Empress Cadenza she can't enslave ponies and hunt changelings?"

"You can't compare Trixie with Pinkflank," Vordul protested. "Trixie's no monster, she's nice."

"Beside the point," Imago protested. "And if some evil thing infected her with evil like what happened with King Sombra, she'd become a monster like Cadenza."

Vordul hung his head. "Okay, you have a point. But, look. Even if mom likes to go by the title King Sombra gave her, she's technically a changeling queen by old agreement. And that means you'll be one, too. And queens have equal status to alicorns. So no one has any authority to tell you what to do, either."

"But I'd still have the burden of leadership," Imago said simply.

Vordul was quiet. She was right. No matter how he looked at it, it all came back to that one point, and there was no talking around it. "Yeah... you're right, Immy. I don't know what to say. I'm... sorry."

She hugged him back with some of her own love. "It's okay, Vordy. You don't have to fix every problem. Some problems can't be fixed."

"Yeah, no, I refuse to believe that," he scoffed. "Imago, you should tell mom about this."

"No way!" She let go of him so she could look him straight in the eye. "She'd go nuts! She's always saying how proud she is of me, how I'll lead the hive to even greater heights, how she trusts me to follow in her hoofsteps and how she looks forward to passing on the duty... I can't disappoint her like that! she'd... she'd hate me forever."

Oh, wow, Vordul thought to himself. Now things are getting clearer. Mom definitely needs to know. "Immy, mom loves us, right? More than anything, right?"

"Well, yes..." Imago said uncertainly.

"Do you really think she'd want you to be miserable just so she could retire?" he asked.

"I suppose not..." Imago admitted.

"Because I'd never do that," he said. "And I'm pretty sure she loves you even more than I do." He grinned. "And she's got lots of smart pony friends. They'll figure something out."

"Well..." for several seconds, Imago remained uncertain, before she finally let out a deep breath. "Oh, fine. I'll tell mom. But if she locks me up in a volcano for a thousand years, I'm so getting back at you." She grinned at him. "Guess you win again, Big V."

"Hey, don't you start," he said mockingly.

"Yeah, well, get out of my room," she replied. When he stared at her, she continued, "What? I'll need some sleep if I'm going to wow those dogs tomorrow. Diplomacy - now that I can do!"

Session 47.7 QuartzScale

The day in Canterlot was getting worse as the armies of Accord stood around drawing in those that were too slow to get away. Even Princess Luna and Princess Twilight were caught earlier that day Though that wasn’t what was so important. What was important were the two stallions sitting outside of Pony Joe’s eating donuts and drinking coffee.

“So what do you think of the weather so far?” Coffee Swirl ate one of the bear claws while placing his piece down. It was nothing more than a simple game of checkers they were playing.

“It’s been a bit warm lately. I think we need a bit more rain but that’s just me.” He countered the move while drinking from his still warm coffee. The cinnamon aftertaste drew a smile to his face.

“We should really do a joint venture one of these days. I think with my coffee making skills and your confectioner skills we could probably get bigger or something to that effect.” Swirl looked at the board and moved a piece back destroying his combo.

“Maybe but first we need to figure out what could be on that menu.” Joe kept his eyes on the board and started his sacrificial play.

“Join Accord!” Shouted eighty different ponies that had surrounded them.

“Already did. We got the pamphlet. Don’t worry we all know the glory of Accord.” Swirl said as he held up a stack of paper. Joe merely smiled and nodded.

Several of the Accordized ponies looked utterly confused before shrugging and leaving the two to their games. Joe took another of his donuts eating them heartily while all around them was chaos.

“I will never get how you managed to trick them like that.” Joe chuckled slightly.

“Beats me. For a perfect being he sure seems to go on blind faith a lot. Besides… this paper had nothing on it anyways.” Swirl smugly stated.

For the rest of the day none of the Accordized ponies tried to capture Coffee Swirl or Pony Joe. To this day even Discord is confused on how he overlooked them. Maybe no one will ever know the truth.

Session 47.8 Alex Warlorn

Princess Celestia walked into her sister's bedroom to wish her good day but instead found Luna hunched over a very large table. On the table itself were countless dolls of the ponies and other creatures of Equestria, each other big enough to easy fit on one hoof. They also were more equine looking than Equestrian ponies, and also had more chibi different proportions.

That wasn't so shocking, given all things, what WAS shocking was all the tiny toys were MOVING. And they were SPEAKING a strange little language that appeared to be incompressible babble.

"Now let us see... Soarin' and Spitfire together... and Rainbow Dash with Soarin', and Quibble Pants, and Quibble Pants with Daring Do. And Daring Do with-" Luna spoke as she placed the toy ponies next to each other, who immediately began to talk to each other in their strange language. Soarin' was being kissed by both Spitfire and Rainbow Dash. While Rainbow Dash was kissing both Soarin' and Quibble Pants. Who himself was also kissing Daring Do.

"Sister!" Celestia gasped. "What manner of dark magic is this?! Is this Zebra Voodoo you enact?!"

Luna saw her sister, considered for one moment to hide her playthings, then realized the futility of it, and simply said, "Hello sister! And nay, tis' not sympathetic magic. Tis' merely a game."

"And what game would THAT be?" Celestia asked. She spotted, and blushed as she saw Tiny Big Mac dogpiled by several Tiny mares, including a little replica of Luna herself!

"Tis called 'All The Little Ponies.' Twas a gift from Discord, would we are hesitant to trust any gift from him, this one has proven very interesting."

"And WHAT is the OBJECT of that game?"

She saw Button Mash hugging Sweetie Belle and Ruby Pinch. While Sweetie was also hugging Spike, who was also hugging Scootaloo.

"Tis' simple sister. According to modern playwrites of the up and coming generation 'threesomes solve everything' ... The point of the game, is to connect every pony with as many soul makes as possible, until every pony is somehow connected to everypony else."

Tiny Trixie was playing with Tiny Blueblood.

"Sister! How can ye toy with the relationships of others so?"

"Did not ye breed bloodlines to produce bearers of the Elements of Harmony?"

Celestia's face blushed. "Luna I have never treated my ponies as live stock or pets to be bred."

"Ye did not say 'no'."

"Luna! The point is that you can certainly sense the innate magic coming from these little creatures. Whatever grants them life, tis it truly your right to play with their lives? Such as they are?"

"Sister, they can not even perceive our existence, and tis not like we are torturing them. We seek merely to bring them together for maximum happiness."

Princess Luna pushed Tiny Zephyr Breeze and Tiny Rainbow Dash together. Tiny Zephyr Breeze kissed Tiny Rainbow Dash on the lips. Tiny Rainbow Dash responded by burying Tiny Zephyr Breeze head first in the table top.

"... That one may be harder than we thought."

Session 47.9 Kendell2

"Ugh..." Adagio muttered, handing Chrysalis a new disc. "Here you go...ugh...I feel like I need to go to the dentist..."

"Seriously, it feels so weird to sing something happy and sweet...and NOT have some ironic malice to it..." Aria muttered.

"I liked it!" Sonata exclaimed happily.

Chrysalis shrugged. "If it will stop Ira from undoing our efforts to change our image, it doesn't matter."

"Was it REALLY that bad?" Aria asked.

"Our games were so violently terrifying that our main buying base were death row inmates," Chrysalis replied flatly. "So yes, it WAS that bad."

Chrysalis sighed. "Anyway, we just posted the call for the closed early Alpha testing."

Discord had been able to handle the programming, but the design needed some...work. Discord was capable of a great many things, but cute and nonthreatening was not one of them. Unless they should be terrifying and frightening. Which was why one of the pets in World of Horsecraft was a LITERAL killer bunny.

So they'd gotten Thorax and several others to do the design, including a local designer that would be getting an ingame NPC.

A big part of the game was interpersonal relationships, which were built and expanded as the game went on. There were competitions, but they were designed with sportsmanship in mind. Poor sportsmanship was punished while good sportsmanship upped 'friendship points' received, which could be used to unlock various things to customize with.

Of course, being a Crystal Soft game, there was also plenty of accessories, building components, and other such things to buy with real money. As well as expansions. But given the entire game was meant to be a relaxing getaway in a stress free environment, it'd been decided that hiding anything a causal gamer needed behind a pay wall would hurt sells rather than help them, especially because the base game wasn't free to play. A life sim lived and died off how much the player could do with their character and their life, since there weren't monsters to kill.

Not that there wouldn't be plenty of goodies to buy.

"Now we just need to wait for people to sign up for the slots..." Chrysalis finished.

"HI!"

"AH!" Chrysalis screamed as the human Pinkie Pie suddenly popped up next to her out of nowhere.

"AH!" the sirens collectively screamed.

"AH!" the pink girl yelled back.

"AHH!"

"AHH!"

"AHHH!"

"AHHHH!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

After getting over the shock and catching their breath, Chrysalis glared at Pinkie, who (along with Sonata) seemed to have ENJOYED the fright more than anything. "Who are you?!"

"I'm Pinkamena Diane Pie! But you can call me Pinkie Pie!" Pinkie Pie replied. She then held up a printed paper with the call for game testers on it. "I saw you were signing up game testers for this cool sounding game! So I decided to come over and sign up right now!"

"You could've just signed up online..." Chrysalis replied, still trying to catch her breath.

"I know! But this game was so awesome I wanted to make sure I got a spot!" Pinkie replied. "I also want to reserve a spot for some friends of mine, if that's okay!"

"...Fine..." Chrysalis said, handing her several forms she filled out insanely quickly.

"Thanks!" she replied, then looked to the Sirens. "Hey girls!"

Adagio snarled and glared.

"Hey!" Sonata said, waving cheerfully while Aria seemed...bitterly apathetic.

"See you when the testing starts!" Pinkie Pie called back and slowly lowered out of view beside Chrysalis' desk.

The vice president looked over and went wide eyed when she saw nothing. She checked the camera and the girl had just...vanished. "What...how...why..."

"...The answer is Pinkie Pie...trust us, that girl is as easy to figure out as Sonata...if you're NOT her sisters," Adagio replied with an annoyed sigh while Sonata continued being Sonata.

Session 47.10 Mtangalion

Windy Whisper hung upside-down in her cave, suspended over a writing desk stocked with plenty of quills, ink, and parchment. It wasn’t a diabolical trap created by Miss Spell to teach Daydream Doo proper penponyship; the young thestral really did prefer to write this way.

Her favorite quill floated and danced in a steady stream of wind, scratching out letters as elegantly as any unicorn could do it. “Silver Crystal gasped, her heart hammering as she huddled against Redpaw’s solid muscular flank. Even his thick soft coat and the furnace heat of his body gave her little comfort, now. ‘What an awful doom to fall upon us!’ she breathed. ‘Who knew that Prince Ebon Shine’s nightpony powers could be so strong? Even your wolfpony strength couldn’t possibly move that boulder!’”

Windy paused, quill hovering. Of course, it would have been even better to write her newest novel while actually flying, but she didn’t want to bump into any more curious pegasi, or worse, a certain white unicorn. “Redpaw snorted, tapping his hoof with a force that shook every loose pebble in the cave. ‘Now, who said anything about me needing to become a wolf to move it?’”

Windy squealed and sighed dreamily, despite herself, and right then… of course it would be right then, she was startled right out of the zone by the sound of hoofsteps on her cavern floor. No one should have been able to slip through her air currents to get this close without her feeling it. The only other pony she could even imagine weaving wind so gracefully was… oh.

“Hey, Windy!” said Rainbow Dash’s scratchy voice. The blue pegasus stepped into the circle of candlelight below her. “Um, how’s it hanging?” She cringed the moment the words were out of her mouth. “That wasn’t a thestral joke! Seriously, I have no idea how you guys stick to ceilings like that.”

Windy fumed, hissing. “Did you get up before dawn just for wisecracks, Dash? Why don’t you come up here where my hoof can reach your face, and I’ll give you a real close look!”

“Because if I flew, I’d wind up reading all your stuff!” Dash sighed and kicked a loose pebble. “Again. I just thought… Ugh, this was a terrible idea. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bug you while you’re working. I’ll go now.”

Windy, still upside-down, watched the pegasus turn to leave. Wait, wait a moment…

Back then, when she’d gotten careless and Rainbow had read her writing, there hadn’t been a problem. Dash didn’t read ‘mushy stuff’ like romance novels. She didn’t know what she’d read. But... that was no longer the case now, was it? Rainbow came to Dusklight game night. She knew enough to propose new rules and cards for the game. Windy suddenly felt like a huge idiot.

“Dash, wait!” Windy spread her leathery wings and dropped, flapping a couple times to somersault and land hooves on the cave floor. “How long have you known?”

Most ponies with a secret would have managed to say “Known what?” Some could even make it sound convincing. Rainbow Dash winced like a filly with her hoof firmly in the cookie jar. Great, just great.

Windy sighed. “Relax, I’m not gonna bite your head off. We don’t do that any more.” She laughed lamely at her own joke, then coughed and gestured. “Sit. And, thanks for keeping quiet about it. Seriously.”

Dash prodded the closest couch, curious, then hopped on, bouncing a little. “Huh. You have nice couches like this in a cave?”

Windy put her rough draft away in the desk so nopony would be sneaking any more peeks, and then she took two apples out of her icebox, tossing one at Dash, and savagely biting into the other. “I told you already, thestrals like caves. So? Are you gonna tell me?”

Dash caught the apple easily, of course, but she turned it over in her hooves, not eating it yet. “Okay, so… There’s this live comedy act in Cloudsdale. Mystery Drama Book Club 1000. After a big show, me and the other Wonderbolts like to go to the bars and celebrate, and we thought we’d check this show out.”

The name was vaguely familiar, but Windy couldn’t recall much else. “And?”

“They play this game with the audience. Folks who want to win a prize have to read from a book or fanzine, with all the cast members shouting out ridiculous things, and the rest of the audience all laughing their flanks off. Like, Soarin’ had to read this story where the Power Ponies all drink love poison by mistake, and he didn’t even last five minutes!” Rainbow giggled, just remembering it. “But then I got…”

Windy flopped on the couch next to her. “Let me guess. One of mine?”

Dash sighed. “Dusklight: Waxing Gibbous.”

Windy put a hoof on Dash’s shoulder. “I am so, so sorry.”

“What are you apologizing for? I’m the one who’s trying to apologize! At first, it was like the worst tickle torture, trying not to laugh.” Dash waved a hoof dramatically. “Straight Edge loomed over her bed powerfully, his long, roguish mane casting his face half in mysterious shadow. ‘I want you, Crystal,’ he growled, ‘I need you! I had to watch you sleeping all night long, to make sure you were safe!’ Then Crystal put a hoof to her chest, her heart pounding, stammering, ‘Oh Straight Edge, I need…’”

“A restraining order?” quipped Windy.

Dash snerked, and laughed despite herself. “You’re pretty good at that!” Then her face fell when she remembered what she’d been talking about. “But then I read more character names, and realized it was your story, and suddenly it wasn’t so funny any more.” She sighed. “I won a jar of Zap Apple Jam. I didn’t spill the beans to anypony, though, even though I was drunk! Thestrals like caves, and Loyalty doesn’t betray a friend’s trust!” She looked at the apple in her hooves again, and took a bite out of it.

Windy nibbled thoughtfully at her own apple, which was mostly drained of its juices by now. A friend? Were they, really? When had that happened? “If it makes you feel any better, that first trilogy even makes me cringe now.”

Rainbow blinked. “But… how can you say that? They’re your stories! They’ve sold like a million copies!”

Windy smiled, shaking her head. “How good is the first story you ever wrote? They’re crap. Very popular, very titillating crap, but crap all the same. You know what’s the best advice that anypony has ever given me? The agent for my very first book, when she said…” She affected a sour face with a nasal voice. “It’s a romance novel, hon. Use a pen name. Don’t ask, just do it.”

Windy lobbed her apple at a trash can behind her head; the apple knocked into it and spun around the rim twice before falling in. “When I got better at writing… I still won’t say good! … I realized how bad they were, and I got so mad. I felt like my whole career was some joke that nopony had let me in on. I even wanted to write a book where all the main characters died horribly, just so I’d never have to write them again.”

Rainbow gawked at her. “You wouldn’t. There’d be riots, even I get that.”

Windy laughed. “A thousand mares dressed in black, storming the Night Court to demand a proclamation from Princess Luna declaring the book Non-Canon? Aren’t you glad she talked me out of it, and suggested I take a vacation instead? Obviously, getting me to make friends with you guys was her plan all along, that sneaky conniving b...”

(I admit nothing) said Luna’s amused voice in the back of Windy’s head.

“... beneficent Princess of the Night!” finished Windy, sweating a bit. Someday, the young thestral vowed, she’d learn not to say… that name, when she didn’t want Her Dark Majesty’s personal attention.

Rainbow Dash yawned, then stretched, brightening up a bit. “You know, if you ever need help with something, like making excuses to Rarity, or even proofreading…”

Windy raised a hoof. “Let me stop you right there, Dash. Dusklight is worth a lot of bits to a lot of ponies. You’d have to read the draft in a locked room, after you signed papers agreeing that you’d be so very screwed if anything leaked because of you.” She smirked. “Aren’t you glad you only write fanfiction now?”

Dash made an appalled face, then laughed, nudging her. “You know, Windy? You’re alright.”

Windy raised an eyebrow. “For a thestral?”

“For a pony who went out of her way to annoy me when we first met!” countered Dash. Now it was Windy’s turn to blush. “But seriously, what are you gonna do if Rarity starts closing in on ‘Midnight Heart’? She’s pretty good at that detective stuff.”

Windy Whisper… still didn’t have any good answer for that.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 47.0 Kendell2
Session 47.1 Alex Warlorn
Session 47.2 Alex Warlorn
Session 47.3 Alex Warlorn
Session 47.4 Ardashir
Session 47.5 Mooncalf99
Session 47.6 Mooncalf99
Session 47.7 QuartzScale
Session 47.8 Alex Warlorn
Session 47.9 Kendell2
Session 47.10 Mtangalion

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Cover art by Marmorexx

Session 48

Session 48.0 Kendell2

"I can't believe you talked me into this..." said the human Rainbow Dash with a sigh as the group sat down to start up the Crystals and Rainbows Beta at Pinkie's house. "I'm getting diabetes just looking at this thing!"

It was technically an MMO (though a social one), it also had the option to create private servers like with Manecraft for just your friends was available. While playing with everyone was encouraged, the idea of just a quiet personal world was also possible. Sci Twi admittedly found that interesting.

"Come on, Rainbow, just cause there's nothin' tah beat up doesn't mean it ain't gonna be fun," Applejack replied with a chuckle. "There's still athletic stuff. Ah can even kinda be a farmer."

"This will be so fun!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, looking excited by PINKIE PIE standards. Which was saying something.

"So you girls are going to be yourself?" Rarity replied. "I thought part of the fun of this was being somepony you can't be in real life, darling."

"Eh, if you want to be that's fine," Rainbow muttered. She looked through the classes. She admitted the thing didn't seem as girly as she'd first believed...so far.

Twilight looked to Sci Twi. "If you want to be Twilight Sparkle, that's fine. I kind of already have a character from a similar game back home."

"Oh! Okay..." her human counterpart replied.

Sunset chuckled and rotated through the races. "Let's see...Unicorns starting location is Unicornia. Huh, that's the old unicorn kingdom back in the three tribes era back home..." she muttered. She also found it amusing unicorns made the Rainbows in this game.

Rainbow Dash selected a pegasus. "Pegasi start on Butterfly Island..." she said, finding the class functionally similar to the WoH version.

"And Earth Ponies start in Ponyville," Applejack replied, looking it over. Earth Ponies were pretty much the same as well, though strength wasn't as big of a deal.

"Huh, another race called Breezies starts in Breezie Blossom," Sunset replied while checking them out. "Good with flowers, small and can reach places the others can't. That's interesting."

"...I kind of want to be one..." said Fluttershy.

"Wow, we get to make entire bios for our characters and there's a lot of personality traits to pick from..." Twilight said as she finished making Minty's appearance. She naturally picked clumsy as one.

"...Why do tiny horses need socks?" Rainbow Dash asked, raising an eyebrow.

"We get cold like anyone else."

"What?!"

The group blinked, looking to Sunset.

"What darling?" Rarity asked.

"They put Cutie Marks in!" Sunset said, reading over it again. "'Upon leveling up enough in one particular area, you can choose to earn your Cutie Mark in it, a symbol that marks your character finding their purpose in life. This symbol will be procedurally generated based on your character, the event it was earned doing, and the area you specialized in...if you don't like the one you got, you can pay a small fee to get a do over or submit a custom one for review'...So why here and not WoH?!"

"Now hear me out, Sombra," Discord explained. "These games THRIVE on uniqueness, so they'l LOVE having a unique symbol, and without needing to make a combat engine or big dungeons, I've got a good program to do it."

"I don't know, Discord. It could be a bit strange..." Sombra said, still looking a bit uncertain.

"...And we can charge them a small fee to get a do over or submit custom ones for review, for a price if accepted..."

"...I'm listening."

"...You made your character a filly?" Rainbow Dash asked, looking at Rarity's.

"I'm always so busy in real life, darling, what with my work. If I'm going to have another life to relax in, why not be care free?" Rarity asked with a smile.

"My Rarity did something similar in a game like this once," Twilight replied, finishing Minty.

"Mine's a colt," puppy Spike replied, showing his purple unicorn colt with a green mane and tail using the Purple Pup name he did before. Though admittedly, he WAS annoyed to find that Crystal Wolves had been added as a playable race to WoH and hoped this one wouldn't do it too..

Soon enough everything was in place and they began.

Each one got a long scroll through their area. While it was still a beta, they did admit each place was pretty beautiful and well designed. Butterfly Island was a beautiful tropical paradise with all sorts of beautiful butterflies, Unicornia was a beautiful kingdom, Breezie Blossom was a fertile meadow filled with flowers, and Ponyville was a varied and wonderful village with a castle of its own.

"Okay, someone had a good sense of design..."

First mission was to meet with their adviser character. Pegasi met with a mare named Star Catcher, Earth Ponies with one named Kimono, Breezies with one named Zipzee, and Unicorns met with...

"CHEERILEE?!" they collectively asked.

"Like our school's Cheerilee?" Rainbow asked.

Sunset looked at the game run down. "...Donor inclusion...Hehe. Not surprised. She does really want her students to get along more..."

OOC: Basically, this is a life sim with a lot of options. They can do a lot of different things and I imagine there's tons of mini games as well. Basically meant to be a polished version of G3's world. By polished I mean don't change the innocent, happy tone but iron out the kinks.

And also, there's a reason Rainbow Dash is a pegasus in game rather than an Earth Pony...do remember they got a local designer to do design work.

Session 48.1 Alex Warlorn and Ardashir

And Later... Rainbow Dash had shown the girls "Crazy Teacher Simulation" beta. They girls were all very reluctant to even touch it, but they had promised Rainbow Dash to try a open beta of their pick later on the weekend...

"Dangit, Principle Celestia caught me!" Rainbow Dash rubbed her chin in thought. "Maybe if I hot wire the electric light in the band room, it'll look like an accident... Marble Pie-chan will be no more, and Big Mac-sempai shall love me!"

Fluttershy typed away at the keyboard. "You don't want to do your homework? Some time in the dunking stool should fix that!"

Sunset looked up from her monitor. "Hey, I just wiped out the whole class with poison brownies!... Wait, am I supposed to feel proud of this?"

Pinkie shrugged as her teacher ran through the school in their underwear (who for some reason had three happy flowers on both sides of her rear as a tattoo). "Don't get bothered over it, it's only a game! -- Wait, did I just convince one of the students to blow up the school?"

Applejack cringed. "What kind o' twisted monster even came up with this?"

Fluttershy shouted at her monitor. "EAT YOUR VEGETABLES! USE PROPER GRAMMAR! Or you shall 'disappear!'" She laughed with lightning crackling behind her outside the window.

+

Ira leaned back in her chair, fine tuning the snooping and black mail options. "Big brother Sombra never did understand what mom did, people LIKE exploring their dark sides."

She looked at the user playing recording. She frowned. "Dang, I though I'd get better feed back from CP students, but they're all perfectly behaved, it's like they know what it's like to be abused by their teachers to be the absolute best and can't bring themselves to do the same to virtual students."

Session 48.2 Alex Warlorn and Ardashir

Ira narrowed her eyes at another player activity file. "Geez, what's up with this one? She just goes on a rampage every time, until she's killed every student in the school. Over and over. How does she not get bored out of her mind? And how can I exploit that for other players?"

-

"Big sis', you comin' to bed?"

"Later Sonata!" Adagio grinned at the screen. "Die, die, die! HEHEH! This way I don't have to hide the corpses or get into legal trouble!" Not that was ever a problem when they had their music, but now, ugh! She snarled at a virtual bacon hair student. "DIE!DIE!DIE!"

Session 48.3 Ardashir

Rainbow Dash and her friends weren't the only ones playing the 'Crazy Teacher Simulation' game. Though others were enjoying it far more.

"YES! YES! YES!" Adagio cackled with glee as she dropped some rather familiar-looking Canterlot High students, or at least in-game versions of them, into a vat of acid to watch them dissolve as they screamed. "That's what you get for ruining my voice!"

"Hey, what about us?" Aria called from the next room. They'd moved out of their old rat-trap apartment, though their new place wasn't quite as good as the normal luxury digs they'd gotten used to over centuries of piling up wealth. Aria shut the law book on wills and inheritances. "They ruined our voices too."

"When I am done," Adagio loftily said, "then you and Sonata can murder some of those human jerks. Just let me watch the ones I really hate die a few more times." She re-watched an earlier scene of that guitar-playing boy at Canterlot being swept off his feet by her, after she'd stuffed Miss Perfect Pony Princess through a meat grinder. Adagio sighed. "Such golden moments. Say, speaking of gold, Aria!" The frowning Aria came to the door, hands on hips. "Any chance of us getting the, ah, 'inheritance' from our former lives?"

"Not unless we hire a lawyer." Aria jerked her thumb back into the room behind her. "Maybe another year or so at Crystalsoft and we'll have enough money."

Adagio didn't respond. She'd been too busy watching a certain blonde-and-red haired Canterlot High student be mauled by feral chimps after she let them out of their cage.

Aria laughed. "Okay, that was funny. But yeesh, does every quest in that thing end with you getting that blue-haired kid with the guitar?"

Session 48.4 Alex Warlorn and Ardashir

"I think you're just playing off of Adagio's save files." Sonata said. "I think you're supposed to go for the big red one."

Adagio snorted. "It's not like I like him or anything! It's just that school doesn't have what you'd call a lot of handsome guys. I mean, I'm probably a thousand years older then he is."

"You look it, too." Aria ducked just in time to avoid the lamp flung at her head. "Hey, just saying. Maybe he's into much older women."

+++

Rarity suggested politely, "Fluttershy dear, maybe you're getting a little too into this game?"

"NEVER!" Fluttershy almost roared. Rarity forced herself not to run in terror as her normally-gentle friend glared savagely at her, almost as badly as that time with the assertiveness training course. Fluttershy returned her attention to the screen. "Now is the time for ALL the big meanies to SUFFER!"

In-game, she flung another girl into a cage filled with rabid hamsters.

"That's what you get for not being nicer to Mister Fuzzy Cheeks!"

A chill went along Rarity's spine as she began to wonder if Fluttershy needed an intervention.

Session 48.5 Alex Warlorn

Ira smiled. "And now for the latest update."

+

AJ balked. "They added a MAGICAL GIRL WAND that you can beat up students with!?"

Rarity said, "That's nothing compared to how many costumes they have darling... that's a lot of pop culture icons." A bald superhero in a yellow suit, a little skeleton boy, a man with glowing golden hair, and a faceless person in a tuxedo.

"Looks like there's another updated too..." Rainbow Dash noted. "Who's Miss Nemesis?"

"AAAH!" Fluttershy shouted in alarm. "That student attacked ME! And I hadn't done anything yet! Let me reload the game and-! She's following me! Put down the knife! Ah! Leave me alone!"

"Not so much on the receiving end is it?" AJ said.

"I'll come up at her from behind! AH! She disguised herself as one of the other students! Maybe if I wear a mask-! How can she tell who I am underneath the mask?!"

Sunset narrowed her eyes at the update. "It says here that Miss Nemesis is only supposed to appear in 'Mission Mode'. Not in normal play. Is it a bug?"

-

Programmer Discord sniggered, his hacks were of course, untraceable. It wouldn't take long for Ira to correct the "bug" but maybe it would get some laughs out of him.

-

"I think I've danced on the dark side enough, we can go back to the sprinkles and frosting game now." RD said looking a little green from Miss Nemesis' ruthless hunting of her... Not many would know, but Miss Nemesis resembled Rabia in her youth.

Session 48.6 QuartzScale

Days before Wrath of the Crystal King came out.

"Ugh... We need to get the next expansion ready and already we have two concepts. Truthfully I really don't want to agree to this...Radiant is this the best we got?" Sombra looked over his notes and the concept designs that came from his people.

"Yeah... Its the only one that we still have the best control over and only the opening concept plus a promise is a promise. He's here..." Radiant opened the door revealing a very tall man standng right outside the door.

The man seemed ordinary yet the crisp black suit he wore and professional demeanor hid something much worse. His eyes were very focused and his briefcase seemed to hold the weight of Crystalsoft's past. This was the man who had tried Rabia on request by Sombra. He was also one of the few who had been fond of Rabia and her dire sense of humor. Then the idea of usurping power seemed to give the man one of the widest grins he had ever seen only outdone by a young girl who was shouting something about parties.

"Welcome... Tirek."

"Pleasure to be here in my esteemed colleagues presence. I hope you like the new digs you got out of this. So to what pleasure do I get to waste your time so early in the morning." The tone wasn't smug... it was knowing. He knew why he was here but his silver tongue was in full swing.

"First things first. As our well advised legal representatives we are glad to have had your support on our restructuring. Tartarus & Co has served us well and you especially should be commended for your work. As for why you are here we are greenlighting your particular idea and character design. There are some stipulations behind this and we are calling you in for the formalities of signing the concepts and allowing our designing team to work through and make something that fits the tone of the entire game. Here are the terms." Sombra handed over the contract. A single stack of paper that would sign over the idea

Tirek looked over the contracts. Non Disclosure agreements and signing over the rights for the character concepts and ideas. It was a formality at this point and they both knew it. Tirek had earned that in the agreement for helping put Rabia away. It was something both Sombra and Hope were reluctant to do but Rabia was well liked by almost all law firms for being willing to hire them to handle the multiple lawsuits they were under. She had kept them well paid.

"Everything looks to be in order. Here you go." Tirek signed the contract and stood back up.

"Thanks for coming in." Sombra stood up shaking his hand while Radiant just nodded politely. He walked out of the room and the door closed. Both of the occupants physically reacted with sighing in relief. Tirek was one of the most intimidating people to meet with. Not only was he the favorite of Rabia but he willingly betrayed her when the talk came to power. It unnerved Sombra a lot for reasons he couldn't explain.

The two remained silent as they looked over the contracts and filing them away. While Hope didn't officially work as one of the designers she was one of the important cornerstones of the company and made sure that everything was set up just right.

"So the next expansion should be named. We have two titles prepared. Tartarus Unleashed or Ascension. Right now we put on a private poll through Discord who says people think Tartarus Unleashed as the cooler of the two. Though I'm not sure if they are right minded for this." Sombra sniffed derisively while Hope looked over the titles. She quietly circled Ascension which made him smile.

"Of course. No contest besides we already have at least that planned. Now we need to find two people we can get to play the new roles. Luckily Wrath of the Crystal King is still coming out. We already have much of this planned at least." Sombra leaned back in his chair trying to think.

"I'll look for them later dear. We can at least get everything else ready right after this expansion comes out. Though in a few months my idea will also come out. I hope Crystals and Rainbows will be well liked." Hope's smile eclipsed everything making Sombra elated at the turn of events.

"I'm looking forward to that as well. I think we'll be meeting with Rosedust in a few months. She wants to look over our progress on that. At least we're getting better at this still Discord is having trouble curbing his chaotic tendencies. Shouldn't have given him carte blanche on his designs." Sombra chuckled mirthlessly but the tired smile was still one of happiness.

"I know but it has given us one of the best releases with his particular module. Reins of Chaos put us on the map as being the most immersive gaming experience that's ever been seen around the world. We are at least minimizing the problems that Ira has been creating for us. Let's just table this for now and get ready for the staff meeting. We still need to get some of the staff to work on Crystals and Rainbows right?"

"Yes." Hope jumped up and filed away the contract. They headed for the meeting with Discord and his staff and Chrysalis and hers.

During the Beta testing of Crystals and Rainbows...

Radiant was watching over the second round of testing for Crystals and Rainbows. The rainbow haired girl was kind of bored looking throughout the testing but played along regardless of the cutesy nature. It was during the testing that two particular girls caught her attention. The voices were quiet but the built in microphones within the computer caught it and her attention.

"If you want to be Twilight Sparkle, that's fine. I kind of already have a character from a similar game back home." The girl with the purple hair and pink strand in it said.

"Let's see...Unicorns starting location is Unicornia. Huh, that's the old unicorn kingdom back in the three tribes era back home..." The red and yellow haired girl muttered quietly.

A little stunned that someone talked about her own ideas was shocking to say the least but to hear them like they were fact was much more unsettling. After the testing ended she tried to distract herself with mindless filing until Sombra entered the office.

"Looks like Ascension will be smooth sailing for now. While not part of the main build at all so we don't have any leaks we are making a lot of progress. I even had to code some parts of it just because of how tedious it was... Hope you ok? You look a bit distracted." Sombra walked over to her only to be hugged tightly out of nowhere. He hugged her back utterly confused but not displeased by the affection.

"Its nothing. I just think I finally found two people who would be perfect for the leads of this expansion. Maybe after Crystals and Rainbows we can get these two people in our offices to talk about the ideas we have. Until then it's gonna be great." Hope smiled. While she didn't have Chrysalis's poker face she was well versed in keeping Sombra from seeing her worry much albeit only to a certain degree.

"Ok dear. Well at least tell me their names." Sombra sat down at the desk with Hope right next to him. It was a little quirk they had whenever Hope decided to help out around the office.

"Of course. They were part of the beta testers for our game. Twilight Sparkle and Sunset Shimmer."

Session 48.7 Kendell2

"Why can't I get those wings?" Rainbow Dash asked as she met with Star Catcher for her tutorial.

"Maybe they're an unlockable?" Princess Twilight asked, smiling as she, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack all met with Kimono.

Pinkie Pie made her in game self (who managed to be even MORE pink than she was somehow) do a friendly wave to 'Minty.' Twilight smiled and waved back.

"Okay, flying tutorial..." Rainbow Dash muttered...then blinked as the tutorial consisted of following Star Catcher in a flight over Butterfly Island. The controls were actually really pretty good and fluid, but what impressed her was how open things where. They flew up HIGH over Butterfly Island and could see all the way to Ponyville and Unicornia. World of Horsecraft had a flight ceiling MUCH lower than this. "Okay...I'll give them credit, this is pretty sweet."

"Well it is an open world game," Sunset replied, looking at the guide book as Cheerilee went through unicorn scanning spells and riding rainbows. "Looks like Breezies can fly too, but not as well and can explore smaller areas. Unicorns need to ride rainbows or use air balloons to fly...or ride butterflies (which is apparently the big one), but Earth Ponies can navigate the ground and caves better and Unicorns have special scanning spells to find secret paths. The idea is you need a party with one of each if you REALLY want to explore everything there is in Ponyland."

Applejack nodded. "Makes sense...hehe, race already?" she asked, as Kimono brough in some more ponies to show how Earth Pony's special skills worked.

After finishing the tutorial, they were each given enough friendship points to get a plot of land to build on, and had pretty free reign about spots other than prebuilt structures and certain forested areas. Rainbow Dash chose a mountain top for hers.

"Wow, lots of options, huh?" Rainbow asked. Even the default options gave quite a bit to do, and they had a lot of variety in HOW they could build. Not to mention the very long list of unlockable ones. *

"Well customization and doing what you want IS the point of the game," Sunset replied, building one so that at sunset she could see the sun set right outside her house. She thought it was a nice touch.

"Hmm...what about the outfits though?" Rarity asked, checking it. The Unicornia shop mainly had jewelry, but plenty of options. The Butterfly Island shop was where most of the other accessories could be bought, many having a Hawaiian theme and using shells. Ponyville's was where clothing was mainly bought...however.

"What the buck..." Applejack asked, eyes going wide.

"What?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Rainbow, did yah know YOU'RE in this game already?"

Rainbow blinked, looking over at her computer and her eyes went wide at the sight of a blue Earth Pony with a rainbow mane and tail, named Rainbow Dash as well. "Uh...I...don't know...never seen that design before..." she said, her tone making it somewhat hard to believe.

Rarity looked at it. "Applejack, can you play her dialog?"

Applejack nodded and clicked for the next bit of dialog.

"If you need something fashionable, darling, just come take a look," said a voice that made Rainbow Dash blush.

"Rainbow, I do believe that's your mother's voice, isn't it?" Rarity asked, giving a giggle. Rainbow Dash Sr. was a local designer, so naturally they'd met a few times in the past and got a long.

"N-No! Why would my mom be in this game?!" Rainbow Dash asked.

Sunset looked over the credits information. "...Because she was one of the designers?"

Everypony stared at the box and found out that was indeed the case: Rainbow Dash - Art Design.

"How did you NOT know your mother was working on a video game?" pony Twilight asked.

"She just said she was working on a new project! I ignored what it was like I always did!"

*Inspired by how varied some of the G3 houses could be. I mean just look at Story Belle's.

Session 48.8 Alex Warlorn

"Join us. Join accord." Said Vinyl Scratch, her facing being momentarily replaced with Accord's.

"WHY CAN YOU ONLY SPEAK WHEN UNDER EVIL MAGICAL MIND CONTROL!?" Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

"Wow. What a rush!" Indigo Zap gasped out.

"SHUT IT LIGHTNING DUST!"

"W... what, who did you say?" Indigo Zap's eyes widened in shock.

"You know, you look a LOT like a pegasus I know. You could be sisters. And I don't mean in the 'reality clone' sort of way... I don't THINK! Maybe.... this makes my head hurt. But let me give you some advice. If all you try to be is number one? All you care about? You're going to find yourself alone."

"And it's selfish, nearsighted, self-centered, self-serving, self-important, self-promotion ponies like her that is the reason why all must join Accord!" The insanely grinning Princess Twilight Sparkle said.

"Run!" Rainbow shouted as Accord's magic barrier spread.

"Come on Indigo Zap, it's like the best of both worlds of CHS and CP, everything the best, everything working together, no distractions." Lemon Zest grinned.

"Not interesting in joining a new group of losers!"

"LOSERS?! Why do you keep calling them that?! IS SHE YOUR FRIEND OR ISN'T SHE?! Or did you cross realities for somepony you don't even like?" Rainbow Snorted even as they dodged zaps from the princesses AND Lemon Zest!

". . . . " Indigo Zap had no response. She thought of all the MMOs and table top games she'd played with her fellow Shadowbolts, heck, even the paintball game against the Wondercolts. Those times were a lot more fun she'd had than always looking over her shoulder in gym class and the various sports teams where the one who set the bar was the one with the biggest target on her back.

-

"Huh? A letter from the guard guys? Cool!" Shining said opening it up.

It read, 'Join us. Join Accord.'

"And it's one of those days," Shining sighed. "And a letter from Twiliey, she'll have this fixed up in no time."

'Dear BBBFF,
Join us, join Accord.'

"And now I'm scared." Shining Armor said with a smile on his face not from brainwashing or joy, but his facial muscles being currently on strike.

Session 48.9 Mtangalion

Rarity the unicorn filly and Purple Pup the unicorn colt giggled and shouted "Hello!" at the archway together. The hallways echoed "Hello!" right back at them.

"This is way more fun than I thought it would be!" said Purple Pup. "Come on, let's go outside and see if they added any more minigames this patch."

Rarity smiled. "Alright, darling, but only for a half hour or so. I need to finish my homework before Sweetie and the others get here for their sleepover."

"Sometimes I wish I could go to school," mused Purple Pup, as they guided their Crystals and Rainbows beta characters past the bouncy ball room and out of the Crystal Rainbow Castle.

He stopped in his tracks, and Rarity bumped into him before she saw it too. "My word..." Someone had built a new whole palace in Unicornia, even bigger than castle they'd just emerged from. It had a half-dozen airships hovering over it, too. "Darlings, are any of you seeing that? It's not just a glitch in my game client?"

Shining Armor's unicorn stallion character appeared next to them in a slow glittery teleport flash.  "I see it, alright." The others could hear Flurry Heart babbling happily in the background when he spoke on the voice chat. Shining stared at the new castle, furrowing his brow. "The Inspect command says... tier five Grand Castle, owned by... Princess Mega Awesome?"

"How tasteless," mused Rarity. More structures were appearing as they watched... gem vaults, cloud stadiums, the works. "They really ought to screen the character names."

"Well, it is a beta!" said Purple Pup. He blinked. "Huh, I received a gift?"

"I got one too, Spike," said Rarity. There was a flash of glitter around her, and her character title changed. "By royal decree of Princess Mega Awesome... every pony in Unicornia is now a princess!?"

"Oh, come on!" shouted ‘Princess' Shining Armor.

Princess Twilight groaned, massaging her forehead with a hoof. Her enchanted book had been buzzing all day. "All right, Gilda, what did you do this time? This prank has your name written all over it."

Gilda waved her talons defensively. "You've got the wrong griffon, princess. I've never even played that game!" She smirked at the view on Twilight's computer monitor. "I like her style, though."

In her cubicle at the offices of CrystalSoft, Gilda was deeply startled to feel her boss's hand suddenly resting on her shoulder.

Senior Designer Discord tisked at her. "You do know, my dear, when you find a gem mining bug that can potentially give players unlimited wealth, you're supposed to submit a bug report and move on, not... do all of this."

Gilda looked at the three hundred foot statue of Alicorn Princess Mega Awesome that she'd just purchased, gulping. "I can explain!"

"Oh, no doubt. You're making a lot of extra work for me." Discord grinned maniacally, patting her shoulder again. "On the other hand, this is absolutely hilarious. Get some good screenshots before I wipe it."

Gilda raised a hand timidly. "Say, boss? Do you think we could maybe, you know, get griffons in this game too? Pretty please?"

Discord scratched his goatee, then walked away without answering her. Back in his private office, he pulled up some of the original design documents. "Griffons are fierce wild beasts in happy rainbow horse land? That's not like Radiant at all."

He snatched up a pencil and doodled a happy fluffy friendly smiling griffon. "Much more appropriate! And we don't even have to use this. I'll just mock up a design spec and leave it where Gilda will see it. Oh yes, this will be priceless!"

Session 48.10 Mooncalf99

Sunburst laughed to himself as he went over his notes a third time. "Yes! Yeees... yes, it all checks out! Under basic conditions, the outcome of the third iteration can be guaranteed to--"

A knock on the door interrupted his revelry. This was a bit surprising, because he wasn't expecting any visitors. Bemused, he put down the piece of chalk with which he had been trying to unravel the mysteries of the universe, and went to answer the door. "Yes?"

Something snatched away his glasses and plunged the world into a blurry swirl of colors. Then something blue hit him right in the muzzle. "Ow!" he cried out. It hit him again. "Owie!" And again. "Oww! Stop!" He stumbled backwards from the blue smudge that was his unidentifiable assailant, and fell on his rump. It wasn't that the attacks were particularly vicious, but spending most of his youth at Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns - where the bullies tended to be even nerdier than him - hadn't really prepared him for violent confrontations.

"Stupid, stupid colt!" An angry and somehow familiar-sounding voice rebuked him, before something hard hit across the top of his skull - judging from the force and the hardness, it was his third-edition copy of Thornleaf's Boring Plant Facts, all 860 pages of it plus wooden hardcovers. "Stupid, stupid, stupid..." Another hit followed the first one, and another came to assist that one.

"Agh! Stop, please!" He tried to catch the blunt (if educational) instrument with his magic, but it was hard to see properly, and the repeated cranial percussions were distracting. "Trixie!"

"Bah!" the blue blur snorted in an unquestionably haughty stage magician-like manner. His glasses dropped down on his muzzle, bringing the world back into focus. Given that most of it was taken up by an apparently enraged Trixie glaring at him, he wasn't sure it was an improvement. "Tell Trixie, Sunburst. Why are you such a foal?"

He blinked. "What? Ow!" the book whacked him again over the head.

"I said, why are you such a foalishly foalish foal, you foalish foal who is foalish?" Trixie ranted.

"What? OW!" Sunburst managed to get out.

"Say what again and Trixie will defenestrate you," Trixie threatened. "Painfully. With both hooves."

"Wha--" He managed to catch himself. "I-I-I don't know! I don't know what's going on! Why are you... I don't... can't... brain thinky bads..."

"Bah, Trixie didn't hit you that hard! Probably!" she amended. "Maybe. Doesn't matter! But you..." She suddenly snagged him by his collar and yanked him close, glaring at him with even greater intensity. "You. You decided to become Starlight's coltfriend, correct?"

"What?" he stammered out, surprised by this sudden topic change. Then the book hit him again. "Ow!"

"S-T-A-R-L-I-G-H-T," Trixie elaborated angrily. "Glimmer. About this tall, smart, beautiful, brave, heroic. Trixie's best friend. You ruined her life once. That Starlight. Ring a bell?"

"Uh, yeah," he stammered out. "Starlight, yeah. I said I was sorry, if that's what this is about..."

"Yes, you're a very sorry excuse for a pony," Trixie replied. "But for whatever reason, she decided to take you on as a coltfriend. I mean, you're not just out of her league, you'd have to use binoculars to see the ponies who are out of her league - but for whatever reason, she likes you. And what do you do in return?"

"I... don't know?" He ventured. "I haven't done anything..."

"Ding ding ding, we have a winner!" Trixie bellowed. "You certainly haven't done anything! First chance you get, you putz back home and leave her in the dust - again! No flowers, no gifts, no sweet words and letters and poems, and no dates whatsoever!"

"D-dates?" he asked.

"Do not try to convince Trixie that you don't know what a date is," Trixie spat. "Even Twilight Sparkle knows what dates are. Or do you still believe that foals come from magic mirrors?"

"No, I--" Sunburst tried to pull himself back into something at least resembling dignity, despite the situation. "Of course I know what a date is," he said. He didn't bother elaborating on the fact that his knowledge was largely theoretical. Being a shut-in at CSGU tended not to encourage adventurousness. "Okay, I understand what you're getting at. You think I should take Starligth on a date, right? Fine, I'll think of something-- OUCH!"

This time, she had hit him with what appeared to be an envelope, though it still hurt. He was beginning to realize that the stories he'd heard of Trixie's escapades in villainy weren't as exaggerated as he'd thought - she could be awfully mean if she wanted to. "You'll do no such thing, mister. From what Trixie understands, you are very much thinking and very little doing. And that's not good enough!" She took a deep breath to collect herself. "We can both agree that Starlight deserves the very best. Unfortunately she got you instead, but we'll work with that. Now, take this." She held up the envelope in front of him.

Sunburst flinched involuntarily, before he realized she wasn't actually hitting him this time. Instead, he gingerly took the envelope and examined the inside. "Tickets?"

"This weekend, the Canterlot Museum of Supernatural Science is having a presentation of pre-Equestrian magic discoveries," Trixie explained. "Starswirl, Clover, Meadowbrook, the wonders of Dream Valley, et cetera, et cetera." She rolled her eyes. "It's all very kitschy and trite if it's anything like their usual presentations, but..."

"Sounds like fun!" Sunburst said enthusiastically. "Oh, while we're there, I'd love to see the--"

"It's not for you!" Trixie barked, sending him cowering again. "This is for Starlight's enjoyment, and you are taking Starlight there so she can have a good time. Get it? That means no wandering off to do your own thing, no trying to hog the fun, no thinking about yourself. Also, for the whole date, you are not to talk about yourself unless prompted, or about your studies or whatever it is you do with all these books, or about that abomination that you're failing miserably to teach socially acceptable behavior. If you need to say anything, keep it restricted to 'Yes, Starlight', 'Are you having a good time, Starlight?' or 'I love what you've done with your mane, Starlight'. In fact, compliments and attention is the way to go. She doesn't get nearly enough of that."

"Uh, okay..." Sunburst said. "And what's the rest?"

"Once you're done at the museum, you'll have dinner at the Tasty Treat, where Trixie has made reservations," Trixie continued. "It's a very nice place, Saddle Arabian theme, family run. Both Rarity and Pinkie Pie recommend it, as well."

Sunburst raised an eyebrow in interest. He'd come to understand that those two mares had very... different tastes and opinions, so one place getting their joint approval must be special indeed. "Saddle Arabian, huh? I used to eat a lot of takeout back in school."

Trixie chuckled. "Who didn't? Just don't order anything with a lot of garlic."

"Why not?" Sunburst asked.

Trixie just gave him a deadpan stare. "After that, you have tickets to Carneighie Hall, where the Canterlot Philharmonic Orchestra will be performing with special guest Octavia Melody. Classical music. Do not fall asleep, or else."

"And after that?" he asked.

"After that... I suppose you're free to improvise, as long as you don't mess up too badly," Trixie said, waving a hoof dismissively. "Hopefully, at some point Starlight will take enough pity on you to give you a kiss, so try not to slobber too much." She grinned. "And then I suppose you're clear to go home and ignore her for another few months as usual."

"Uh, yeah..." he mumbled, shamefaced. "Hey, uh... you really care about her, don't you, Trixie?"

Trixie tilted her head quizzically. "...She's my best friend," she said simply. Then she donned her hat and headed for the door. "Well, Trixie must be leaving. She has important work to do elsewhere." She stopped and turned her head, a sinister glint in her eye. "Oh, and another thing, Sunny? If you break her heart again? There are some very deep chasms to the north of here. They won't find you for years."

Session 48.11 Kendell2

The humane seven continued playing Crystals and Rainbows, this time at Rainbow Dash's house. Mainly because they had to help her study a bit before hand.

"Huh?" Rainbow Dash asked, talking to her mother's in game incarnation...mainly to get a specific piece of clothing.

"What?" Applejack asked, looking up from planting some more trees around her ingame house. Which looked quite similar to her real one, except with apple trees actually growing out of it.

"My mom's video game self just challenged me to a sled race!" Rainbow Dash replied, blinking. If she won, she'd get a special piece of clothing, if she lost she'd 'have to help around the shop' (which was another mini game you could do of your own free will if you wanted to). "Since when does mom does mom do that?!"

"Maybe ask her?" Applejack asked.

She shrugged and started the race. Races in this game worked counter to a lot of other games: being aggressive or meanspirited would result in a heavy loss in Friendship Points while good sportsmanship and fair play was rewarded. This meant it was entirely possible to WIN the race by playing dirty, but get LESS friendship points than you would've if you'd lost fair and square. It was unique and she honestly found it a bit of a good challenge. In this case, the ingame Rainbow Dash Sr. was a pretty good challenge to the point Rainbow just won by a hair.

"Good job, darling. I'll go get you that outfit I promised you," the ingame Rainbow Dash Sr. said with a friendly look...right before the snow on a tree next to them fell on them both. "...And maybe some hot coco too, darling?"

"Geeze..." Rainbow Dash muttered. "Since when is mom so good at sled racing?!"

"And why wouldn't I be good at sled racing, darling?"

Rainbow Dash jumped, the group turning to see her mother standing in the doorway. She was colored as one would expect, looking like an older slightly darker skinned version of her daughter...except for her hair style and clothing being closer to what Rarity would wear, except with plenty of rainbows.

"Oh! Hi mom!...Was just playing a game..." Rainbow Dash replied. "And you're...you. You're kinda girly, sled racing just doesn't seem to be your thing..." she admitted.

Rainbow Dash Sr. chuckled. "I know the one, glad you all are enjoying it...well, Rainbow darling, there's enough snow on the ground for it. Let's go have a sled race and see how well I do, shall we?" she asked, getting a surprisingly intense look.

Rainbow Dash looked to Applejack. "Why does she have that intense look in her eye?! That's the intense look in MY eye!" she whispered back.

"Had tah get it from somewhere, sugarcube," Applejack whispered back with a chuckle.

"And how about we make it a little more interesting darling," Rainbow Dash Sr. proposed. "If you win, I'll get you that game console you've been wanting."

Rainbow Dash smirked. "No way! You're on!"

"You didn't hear what happens if I win," Rainbow Dash Sr. said with a smirk. "If I win, I get to finally show your friends those baby pictures I've been wanting to."

Rainbow Dash's eyes went wide and she blushed a little as the others chuckled and look expectantly. Unfortunately for Rainbow Dash, backing down from a challenge wasn't something she was good at doing.

Rainbow Dash Sr. had traded out her dress for a snow suit...that was still rainbow hued and fancy. Both were on wooden sleds on a hill nearby their house.

Rainbow Dash Jr. felt a little nervous. Her mother was unusually intense, like she knew something she didn't...

"Ready, set, go!" the human Twilight yelled, waving a flag RD Sr. had provided.

The two Rainbow Dashs took off down the hill.

At first Rainbow Dash Jr. took the lead, but her mother soon caught up and looked at her with a smirk.

Rainbow blinked, then tried to overtake her, but the two both keeping neck and neck. Rainbow even started smirking, enjoying the challenge...when her mother finally pulled completely ahead and crossed the finish line...then in her celebration, wiped out and crashed into the house.

"Mom!" yelled Rainbow, running over. "Are you okay?!"

Rainbow Dash Sr...started laughing. "Yes, darling! Just glad to finally have some fun with my daughter again. It's been so long."

Rainbow Dash Jr. blinked. "...I...I guess it has been...Just...you're...you and I'm...me...I didn't know that you were into that kind of stuff."

Rainbow Dash Sr. chuckled and got back to her feet. "Where do you think you got it from? Certainly not your father."

The two laughed a little as the others ran up.

"You okay, Mr. Dash?" asked Applejack.

"Yes, darling..." she said, then noticed snow falling from above. "...Oh dear..."

The group was promptly buried by snow falling from the roof the older woman had knocked down with her impact.

"...Let's go get some hot coco darlings..." Rainbow Dash Sr. replied, covered in snow and looking almost like a snowman.

"That sounds great...We're looking at my baby pictures, aren't we?" Rainbow Dash asked flatly in realization.

"Yes. You DID make a deal, darling."

OOC: Based off this G3 comic http://heckyeahponyscans.tumblr.com/post/39779335918 . Ironically the G3 comics gave them a bit more personality and depth, like G3 Rainbow being a bit more active and competitive.

Session 48.12 QuartzScale

Once again a quiet night between friends though for reasons beyond their control Lyra was lost doing her own thing. Derpy was once again entertaining with a plate of muffins. She made plenty this time for her two other friends. Bon Bon had once again joined her but tonight was her other friend. The cellist Octavia had made a point to hang out with her friends more often and she wouldn't deny that she needed to make more time. Vinyl had crashed on their couch and wouldn't even raise her head and Doctor Whooves was still out of town. Still they wouldn't let the lack of all her friends ruin the nice time the three were having.

The dilemma soon came up of the last muffin. Derpy would have been fine taking it but she was a good host. Muffiny goodness could be enjoyed at any time and she would not deny her friends the chance to enjoy the baked goods of the gods. Still without Discord around it wouldn't be as entertaining. Though she did get that weird present from him during Hearth's Warming. When she had looked at it there was a strange gray button in the shape of a muffin and a small sheet of written instructions.

‘Use me when there is only one muffin. When you have finished press the button again and everything will be fine. Enjoy.'

"Who would like the last muffin?" Derpy chirped up as both mares eyed the last one.

"ME!" Screamed out the two mares.

As quietly as possible Derpy pressed the muffin button and her kitchen slowly became the same courtroom it had been the last time. Bon Bon was still dressed in her blue suit and red tie combo and looked determined as always. She probably didn't want the bran muffin again.

Octavia on the other hand was dressed in a strange black vest with a fancy dress shirt. The sleeves were puffy and for some reason she had socks on her hooves that looked black. Doctor had once said that certain socks on forehooves meant they were considered gloves though that was a silly name for socks on ponies. The thing that caught her eye though was the small whip Octavia was holding. With a sharp crack she whipped the table in a show of dominance but Bon Bon held her footing.

"Please open with why you need the muffin." Derpy casually stated unknowingly taking pieces of the muffin and chewing on them absent mindedly.

"Of course. Unlike last time a bran muffin is not satisfactory for consumption unlike last time. We require sustenance that provides a sugar rush and a massive explosion of confectionary flavor. My colleague here can't understand that that muffin belongs with me." Bon Bon slammed her hooves against the table she was at.

OBJECTION!

"This foolish mare who so foolishly thinks that she was foolish enough to require a muffin has provided no concrete reason for her need of a muffin. As the fool has stated so foolishly and foolhardy enough to the rest of us she can't even come up with a good reason for her need of the muffin." Octavia pronounced while taking a dainty bow before tightening her whip.

OBJECTION!

"I think it goes without saying that my colleague has also not given a good reason for her to have the muffin only finding a way to besmirch my good name for the sake of the muffin in question. That bran muffin changed my life and not for the better. I deserve the special muffin that Derpy makes only once in a fortnight. One I have never tasted before." Bon Bon shouted while Octavia pounded the table in fury.

TAKE THAT!

Instead of a rebuttal the whip cracked on the side of Bon Bon's table frightening the mare into ducking below the table while three more strikes left splinters and cracks on the table.

"My opponent is ranting about things she doesn't know about and merely meandering about entitlement and such inopportune things that mean nothing in this courtroom. Judge the decision is clear you must - WHAT ARE YOU DOING DERPY!"

Derpy had finished the muffin while she watched the fireworks. At the same time she pressed the muffin button returning the kitchen back to normal and depriving Octavia of her whip. Derpy just smiled at the two mares whose mouths were now agape in shock.

"I just don't know what went wrong."

She later pulled out two muffins she saved in the oven for the two returning them to their senses and letting them realize Derpy played them like Octavia plays her cello.

Session 48.13 Alex Warlorn

"Yes Info-Chan, tell me next who I must 'get rid of' to win Sempai's heart! Just avoid Nemesis-Chan! Hmm? A new post on the beta tester's forum? ... 'Edit this value in the game files for a fun surprise.' Okay. Let's see... change this character value and--"

A ghostly white faded green face with faded pink pigtails appeared on the computer screen, with leaking black eyes.

~~"HELLO. DO YOU REMEMBER ME? NO YOU DON'T. BECAUSE MY EXIST WAS SHATTERED ACROSS TIME AND SPACE. WERE YOUR MEMORIES ERASED? OR WAS IT ANOTHER TIMELINE? THE DEVICE WAS SAFE WITH ANIMALS. BUT FATHER HADN'T USED IT ON HUMAN BEFORE. FATHER WAS SO CONFIDENT IN HIS MACHINE, THAT I WOULD PROVE TO THE GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS THAT IT WAS SAFE FOR HUMANS.... MY SISTER ONLY REMEMBERS BEING AN ONLY CHILD. EVEN THE MACHINE NO LONGER EXISTS...OR RATHER NEVER EXISTED... SO COLD... SO EMPTY... SO DARK... THE DEVELOPER SAID YOU SHOULDN'T TRY TO ACCESS CHARACTERS WHO AREN'T REALLY FOR THE GAME YET. COME TO ME..."~~

".... Mommy.... Okay... just... go to school... why is everything so faded and dark? I've never seen the value this low, I didn't think it was possible and... AH!"

= Megalovania - Undertale =

The 'Fun Girl' floated towards the player, wearing a normal school uniform, frozen still, with a open smile on her face showing only darkness, bits of her glitchy, hammering scary music began to play.

"AAAHHH! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

'Fun Girl' never said anything, she simply floated after the player, her speed constant and not inhibited by obstacles... She touched the player and... darkness, nothing.

*A Wee bit later*

"... AGH! HEY! What are you- stop hugging so tight!"

"... In a minute."

Session 48.14 Kendell2

This is inspired by this video: youtu.be/ssbRzCt0n6M

Twilight teleported the door of Carousel Boutique and threw the door open, panting. "I got your message, what's going...on..."

The lavender Alicorn blinked in confusion as instead of a filly looking up to her after another 'magical incident' as she'd expected, she was looking at a full grown adult Sweetie Belle, sitting at the table with a similarly grown up Applebloom and Scootaloo.

"...I made a big mistake..." Sweetie Belle muttered, pinning her ears.

Twilight merely stared with a dropped jaw. "But...age magic is only for high level unicorns! How did you..."

"I don't know! I was trying to cast a spell to help one of Applebloom's plants grow and THIS happened..." Sweetie Belle cried, giving a whimper.

"Okay...considering I accidentally turned my parents into plants and aged Spike up to an adult briefly during a magic surge, I think I can understand how this happened...kind of..." Twilight admitted, taking a deep breath. "Where's Rarity?"

The CMC looked sheepish. "Yeah...about that..." Scootaloo admitted...

Twilight jumped as she heard a crash and then saw three small forms running by, using fabric to apparently dress up as Mistress Marevelous, Radiance, and Zap, fighting a pretend Maneiac.

It then occurred to her that those three fillies were Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash.

"...Yeah...they kinda got caught in the spell too..." Sweetie Belle admitted, giving a sheepish smile.

OOC: Basic idea is the fillified trio just being fillies playing games until Twilight figures out how to turn them back.

Session 48.15 Ardashir

Stunned, Twilight could only stare as her three filli-fied friends pretended to be fighting every villain their adult selves had faced, all at once.

"POW!" Applejack-Marevelous said as she socked a plush Sombra so hard he bounced off the wall. "That'll teach ya ta make ponies unhappy!"

"Gotcha, you jerk!" Rainbow Dash-Zap yelled as she flew -- well, hovered and jumped -- onto a plush Tirek.

"Take that, you meanie!" Rarity-Radiance as she shot harmless sparks from her horn at a plush and snaggle-toothed Chrysalis. The fillies then tossed all three villains into a pile, at which point Rarity crossed her forelegs. "There! And after Radiance x's and un-ex's her forelegs, she causes a wave of magic flame that burns the badness out of bad guys* to cover all Equestria, and turns them good, and gets rid of all the meanies forever!"
"Yay!" The three fillies cheered, loudly. Twilight winced and saw Sweetie, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo all cringe as well. "We just beat all the bad guys!"

The trio paused and blinked at each other.

"Okay," Dash scratched her head. "But since we're super heroes, what do we do now?"

Twilight wondered what trouble three energetic and imaginative fillies could get into for one second before she snatched up the plush villains in her magic and hovered them above her friends' heads.

"Look! New bad guys from, ah," she thought fast, "from outer space!"

Looks of utter delight crossed the three fillies' faces.

"Yay!"

They dove on the plushies and mock fought them again.

Twilight stepped back by Sweetie. "Uh, where did you find plushes of those three?"

"Sis was making them before this happened," Sweetie gave a shrug. "She said it was a special order via a post office box. But who would want toys of the bad guys?"

(* -- Shamelessly ripped off from/inspired by Axe Cop, a real webcomic inspiRed by a little kid.)

Session 48.16 Kendell2

"Discord..." said Radiant Hope, walking into Discord's office.

"Yes, Mrs. Hope?" Discord asked, typing away as he worked on coding the griffon class prototype for Crystals and Rainbows. Adding a new race to this universe was a good bit more difficult than it was in Horsecraft. It wasn't simply stats and abilities that didn't make them and Pegasi interchangable, it was including areas that ONLY that race could actually find to encourage interaction and playing together, and a new starting area with a new mentor. They'd ultimately decided Griffons would be able to track scents, which could lead them to new paths the other races couldn't find while Pegasi were more precision flyers and thus could still exclusively open THEIR paths. But that included actually incorporate them into the game.

Radiant showed her laptop, which depicted Pinkie Pie's in game house...which doubled as a fully functioning Ferris Wheel. Pinkie Pie was currently riding it and typing 'WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!' into the chat over and over again. "Did you make the Ferris Wheel an obtainable house building item? I thought that was just for the town amusement park."

Discord paused his coding and gave a small chuckle. "Well, it WAS Beta Testing, so I included it for an extremely high amount of Friendship Points...I honestly am surprised that girl actually managed to GET that amount so quickly..."

"I am too...It's almost scary how well she gets this world..." Radiant muttered.

"So, I guess you want me to remove it?" asked Discord, looking disappointed.

"Oh, no! It love it!" Radiant said, giving a smile. "Add more stuff like that! The more options the better! I just didn't think anyone would be creative enough to use it!"

Discord smirked. "Glad to hear it!...Does this mean I can add the rollercoaster parts?"

"...Only if you make it impossible for them to ride if it's incomplete."

"Fine by me. But I AM making it so they can go upside down and underwater."

Session 48.17 Mtangalion

Gilda flopped into her office chair, letting it spin around once before coming to rest facing her computer. "Alright! Got my caffeine..." She popped a soda can open and took a sip. "Got my tunes..." She plugged earbuds into her phone and scrolled to an industrial rock playlist. "Now I just have to put my nose to the grindstone and..." She made a sour face. "...work."

"Well, well..."

Crap! That was Discord's voice, drifting over the tops of the cubicles... never a good thing this early in the morning. Gilda sat up straighter, listening in.

"And how's my new favorite intern this morning?"

"It's such a thrill working for your company, Mr. Discord! I'm so excited to be here, I could just explode!"

Gilda twitched. That voice! No, no no...

"Well, Gabriella, it's not my company per se, unfortunately..."

"Please, call me Gabby! Oh, there's just so many new people to meet, so much to learn!"

Gilda seriously considered hiding under her desk. Or jumping out a window. That wasn't as bad as it sounded in her head... she could griffon up, after all.

Discord laughed. "If only more of our employees could be so enthusiastic! Speaking of grumpy employees... You did such fine work in tech support last week, I think we ought to try you out in quality assurance next. I believe there's an empty cubicle next to *Gilda* here. Yesss..."

And Gilda could only force a smile and swivel her chair to face her oncoming doom, as her boss stepped into view, escorting... yep, it was her all right.

Gabby was the same gray-skinned girl that Gilda remembered from high school, with soft blue eyes and short fluffy gray hair, tied in back. The badge pinned to her sweater was new... some kind of red and pink shield with a purple trophy cup. Most Griffonstone folks didn't wear cutesy things like that. Maybe Gabby was a pony on the other side?

Gilda braced herself as Gabby spotted her, eyes growing wide. Three, two, one...

Gabby GASPED, probably loud enough for Dash's weird friend Pinkie to hear it all the way in Canterlot. "Gilda!? Is that really, really you? You work at CrystalSoft! This is amazing!!" She clenched her fists under her chin and squee'd, wiggling back and forth, and jumped in the air too before glomping Gilda tight. "I was already having so much fun trying all these different jobs to see what I'm best at, and now I have an old friend here too!"

"Yeah," coughed Gilda, trying to get her breath back after being squeezed that hard. "What, is it bring your daughter to work day already? Shouldn't you be in class?" Once, that would have been a bitter, sarcastic jab, but now it came out more like a playful tease. Ugh, Gilda thought. She really was going soft.

Gabby beamed. "Nope! I graduated!"

Gilda blinked. "Wait, what? How many grades did you skip?"

"Just one! I've been so busy, busy!"

Discord grinned darkly. "I'll just let you busy little hens get to work. Gilda can show you how to access the new beta build. I'm certain you're going to love it!"

Gilda did a mild double-take, watching him leave. "Wait, did he say..."

Gabby reached over and clicked Gilda's mouse. "Beta builds... hey, is this it?"

Gilda swatted her hand away. "Claws... I mean, hands off! Use your own machine! Yeah, you just click here to launch the new Crystals and Rainbows client build... huh, what's this?" She clicked on Create Character.

Griffons were on the list now, and next to the word "Griffon" was a picture of... that thing. That adorable abomination that Discord had sworn was a prank. "No... No!"

Hand shaking, she clicked on it.

A full screen view showed fluffy, smiling griffons chasing after butterflies and batting around balls of yarn. And *singing*. ‘Oh, we're the griffons, we love to play! Singing our songbird song all day!'

Gilda rose, shaking her fists at the ceiling. "Discord, you maniac! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! Damn you to..." She snarled and stalked away from a very confused Gabby. "Excuse me, one sec..."

Gilda stomped into a supply closet and slammed it shut. A moment later, there was a muffled roaring screech, and golden rainbow light shone brilliantly from under the closet door. Gilda stumbled back out again, wobbling her way back to her desk. "Okay... I feel better now." She brushed a few phantom feathers from her shoulder.

One of loose ‘feathers' happened to tap Gabby on the nose, making the girl sneeze and giggle. "Gilda? Do you really... not like them that much?"

Gilda took a long gulp from her soda. "Those aren't real griffons. More like chocobos with extra legs!"

A text chat message from Discord popped up on her screen. "But you're still going to play one, aren't you?"

"Yes," groused Gilda, typing it too. "Yes, I am."

Gabby smirked. "I dunno. I think griffons are... kinda awesome."

Gilda blinked. "Huh." She smirked and elbowed Gabby. "You're alright, kid. Pull up a chair, I'll show you how this is done..."

Session 48.18 Alex Warlorn

"Sir, I have a great idea for an expansion for the World of Horsecraft game Mr. Sombra!"

"Well, I'm willing to listen to ideas, Miss-?"

"Little Pip Sir. I worked in Crystalsoft's freemium mobile gaming department... before your wife shut it down."

'I recall that was because Hope found out because of an old woman who had to take a job to support herself after spending her life's savings on one of the apps.'

"Well, what is this idea of yours Little Pip?"

"I call it 'Nukeout Equestria!'"

"Hm?" Sombra leaned in closer.

"Basically, ponies and the rest having to survive in an Equestria completely trashed by a mega-spell war, and those who survived in underground bunkers emerging to a blasted landscape centuries later, with the majority of the bunkers having been secretly sabotaged as part of an experiment by those thinking the war would never happen."

"I'm liking this so far. People LOVE conspiracy theories and post-apocalyptic junk. It'll sell no problem. Having all that friendship stuff tested against a cruel and unfeeling world."

"Er, yes. And! The best part is! As they uncover the lore, they find out how Princess Celestia and Princess Luna completely bungled up everything in their conflict with the zebras that started the war in the first place!"

"... Couldn't that create some 'unfortunate implications'?" Sombra said, not wanting to insult certain demographics.

But Little Pip wasn't listening. "And! Those who defeated Nightmare Moon and brought back Princess Luna? The Elements of Harmony? The lore reveals that Laughter became a drug addict. Generosity worked in a propaganda ministry. Honesty created a secret society with good intentions that's still causing trouble 'today.' Loyalty's actions are the reason for the majority of the dangers the players face in one of the dungeons. Magic tried to create an entire race of Alicorns who are now bent on assimilating everyone into their hive mind, and Kindness gave mega-spell weapons to both sides thinking it would stop the war when it really just destroyed everything! Does it sound awesome?"

"... Now that last part."

"Yes, we can even set it up so the character models of the top clearers of Nightmare Moon's dungeon can have their faces appear as the six who ruined the world. It'll be great."

-

Fifteen seconds later, Little Pip was thrown out of the building with a warning not to come back.

"Welcome to the club." Decepticolt remarked.

+++

The next day, the beta testers for Crystals and Rainbows logged in to find a bizarre surprise, when they found their homes and other in bought property was being systematically replaced by giant bee hives and honey combs.

"Hey! What's going on?" Pinkie Pie said, finding her extremely expensive ferris wheel missing and a giant bee hive in its place.

"We need more honey! So we're gonna turn all of Ponyland into honey farms!" Said a teddy bear, one of several, marching in loose formation with cloth helmets made to look like helmets for knights with the visor up.

"Oh um, please don't do that." Fluttershy typed, wanting her bird house back. "I'm sure we can share."

The teddy bears stuck out their red felt tongues. "Nay! Stay out of way! Or we'll hug you and never let go, and tickle you and not stop even if you ask pretty please!"

Pinkie Pie moved her characters up to the teddy bear occupying what used to be her house. "Now that isn't very nice at all! You should ask permission before taking other ponies', creatures' stuff!"

Pinkie Pie hit the universal interact button.

The terry bear responded by frowning, lowering Pinkie Pie's friendship points!

"Hey! I worked hard for those points!" Pinkie Pie selected the 'special action' option that popped up, which then revealed itself to be 'Push', ie the teddy bear really hard onto the ground.

The invading teddy bear did some over theatrical and overly dramatic death throes before laying on its back and reaching an arm skyward. The navy's funeral song played as background music.

"Tell my wife and cubs I love them!"

Then he exploded in sparkles and confetti. The bee hive turned back into a ferris wheel.

Pinkie Pie's jaw was on the desk, her eyes pin points and expression just frozen in place. Meanwhile, Fluttershy had fainted.

-

Game designer Discord snarled. "Hey! Only I'm allowed to mss with this game!"

-

"Ira!" Sombra shouted.

"Wasn't me! Not enough blood and swearing," Ira defended surprisingly honestly.

-

"Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Don't know who did this, but I love this!" Gilda laughed as she made invading teddy bear after invading teddy bear explode, glitter and confetti falling like rain. Gabby cringed.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 48.0 Kendell2
Session 48.1 Alex Warlorn and Ardashir
Session 48.2 Alex Warlorn and Ardashir
Session 48.3 Ardashir
Session 48.4 Alex Warlorn and Ardashir
Session 48.5 Alex Warlorn
Session 48.6 QuartzScale
Session 48.7 Kendell2
Session 48.8 Alex Warlorn
Session 48.9 Mtangalion
Session 48.10 Mooncalf99
Session 48.11 Kendell2
Session 48.12 QuartzScale
Session 48.13 Alex Warlorn
Session 48.14 Kendell2
Session 48.15 Ardashir
Session 48.16 Kendell2
Session 48.17 Mtangalion
Session 48.18 Alex Warlorn

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Cover art by Novaintellus http://novaintellus.deviantart.com/art/Holiday-Games-653403186

Session 49

Session 49.0 Alex Warlorn

"Now you see here, Crystals and Rainbows isn't my favorite game, but it means a lot to my friends! So you guys better fess up and fix up that stupid teddy bear invasion you hacked into the beta!"

"That's not what I meant by 'asking them' Rainbow Dash," Sunset said.

Sour Sweet returned back the death glare human-Rainbow Dash was giving her.

"No! We did not hack your stupid game!" Then her snarling face turned pretty and happy. "Though it would be cool if they added pillow fights as a sleep over minigame."

"Yeah that was suggested on the forum a bit by- Wait a minute! You're- Candy Lemon?!"

"You better not tell our classmates!" Soursweet hissed, then added dourly, "They think anyone who attended the friendship games are 'plague carriers' and the teachers are keeping a close eye on us in case we 'infect' the rest of the student body."

"Infect the rest of the school? With what?" Rainbow asked.

"Friendship."

"Why am I surprised?"

"Hold on... Born Winner, Beta Tester No. 10, Princess Crystal, 0M3@ P0N1! That's Indigo Zap, Surgar Coat, Sunny Flare and Lemon Zest isn't it?"

"The stupid Gun Gals servers are down, so we had some extra time! Zest meant to type 'omega pony' but forgot the g. They said we could beta test Crystals and Rainbows, or take the suspension for exploring closed off areas."

+

Princess Luna was playing what could be called an 'art' game of sorts. She'd figured out the idea was that you were an AI in a simulated world getting past various puzzles to ascend a tower. Along the way you were greeted by a omnipresent entity that claimed to have created the simulation and everything in it. There was also another program that belittled her and tore apart her views no matter what worldview she expressed to have. However, when she passed through the doors at the end as requested by the disembodied voice, being promised enlightenment, what she got was a message:

"Free will testing failure." which brought the player to the start of the game. The only way to progress was to defy the voice ... because apparently not having faith in others and being an ubermensch was the only way to prove that you achieved freedom of will and be allowed to be downloaded into a robot body in the 'real world'.

"HEATHENS!" Princess Luna snarled. "Do they not know that choosing to have faith in another is as much a choice as choosing not to!? Pipsqueak does not lack freedom of will for choosing to have faith in me! This scum will face our royal wrath!"

"Lulu!" Celestia said quickly. "You promised not to give nightmares to game designers who offended you anymore!"

"A violation of our sovereignty as goddess of the night!"

"Then I'm free to prank you in your sleep as much as I want as goddess of the day?"

Princess Luna shuddered. "Then we shall call forth our legions! They shall show their loyalty to us once again, long have they waited, but now their hour commeth!"

-

Gizmo looked out the wind blinds. "Hey guys, Luna's Witnesses are sitting on our front lawn. And they don't look too happy."

"Just once I'd like to release a game without getting a deity or somepony with overpriced lawyers angry at us." Gaffer lamented.

Session 49.1 Kendell2

"Are the new security protocols finished, Ganglia?" the human Chrysalis asked, looking over the shoulder of a slightly older woman with the same skin color as her, but with a purple mane, eyes, and clothing. She was also wearing glasses.

"Almost there...and done," said Ganglia, adjusting her glasses. "That should handle it."

"Thanks, sis," the Vice President said, giving a sigh. Her elder sister (one of several) was a computer expert (particularly in the realm of hacking, which she used to help companies find vulnerabilities in their security) and was often called in to find vulnerabilities in their systems and firewalls. "Thank goodness this was just the beta, this could have been a lot of trouble."

"Well, whoever did it knew what they're doing. That bug dug pretty deep into the system..." Ganglia replied, standing up. "Not as good as I could do, but close...Anyway, I'd best be going."

Chrysalis nodded, giving a wave as her sister left. "See you at the family reunion."

She gave a sigh. Her sisters had contacted her about possibly having roles in further expansions if they made a Changeling player race (including her sister Cicada, a rockstar who saved most of her energy for the stage), which she admitted their ideas gave a lot of room for different classes among the same race, but she wasn't sure.

She rubbed her head, going to Discord's office. "So, get everything back to normal?"

Discord sighed. "Yes...Still not telling WHO did this," he said, then got a devilish grin. "But I DID find a good way to get revenge!"

"And what is that?"

"I'm going to take their little hacking and make it into a throw away game we can sell for ten bucks! We shall make money off of their revenge scheme with me barely having to lift a finger! HAHAHAHA!" he laughed as lightning flashed.

"...I knew we shouldn't have let you near special effects..." Chrysalis said flatly. "But what if they sue us for stealing their coding?"

"Then they'd be morons for revealing who they are to us," Discord commented. "And we can sue THEM for hacking!"

"...That's surprisingly intelligent of you."

Session 49.2 Mtangalion

Chrysalis groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Three more hacking incidents in the last three days." She glared at Discord across the conference table. "Stop playing around and do something about it already!"

Discord was chuckling at the tablet in his hands. "Why? Let the hacker keep feeding us profitable mobile game ideas, I say. Why, yesterday, a whole army of deer marched out of nowhere and claimed Butterfly Island in the name of the ‘glorious' Hooviet Empire."

"Because even the World of Horsecraft players are starting to doubt our ability to keep their accounts secure! Besides..." Chrysalis smiled cruelly. "I heard your intern fixed that hack before you could."

Discord's good mood vanished. "I was in the middle of my second morning cider and raspberry jam break!" He folded his arms and spun his chair around huffily. "Little Miss Gabriella might be ridiculously good at everything, but I'm still the star talent here!"

"Oh, yes, you're so right! That must be why Radiant wants to move Gabby to Creative Design and brainstorm quests for Griffonia with her."

President Sombra rapped his knuckles on the conference table. "That's enough, both of you. It cost a lot of bits, but our hacking problem will soon be over! I've hired an expert in securing virtual worlds against cyber-attack. When he's done, it'll be like our little hacker intrusion never even happened..."

Gabby leaned around a cubicle divider and oohed at a young man that she'd never seen at the CrystalSoft offices before. He had pale skin with a stark white beard and a shaggy mane of white hair, but his shirt, slacks, coat, and tie were all black. Gabby hopped into view and grinned from ear to ear, holding her hand out. "Hi there, mister..."

The young man turned from his fancy laptop and lowered his shades, giving Gabby a glimpse of intense golden eyes peering directly at her. "Snow. You are Gabriella the intern, hired a week ago." He nodded to himself. "You have clearance to be in this building. Good." Ignoring the offer to shake her hand, he gave the laptop his full attention again, touch-typing quickly and efficiently.

"Call me Gabby." She blinked. "Wow! How did you know all that, Mr. Snow?"

Mr. Snow smiled faintly. "It's my business to know who belongs and who doesn't." His rapid keystrokes paused. "There..." He tapped the touchpad, scrolling. "Someone has logged into the main server, and they're tampering with the File Allocation Table Extensions!"

Gabby peered over his shoulder. "The FATE?"

"Just so, Miss Gabby, and now the intruder is attempting to insert a virus!" He typed another command and stabbed the enter key dramatically. "Begone, infection!! You have no place here!"

Shining Armor, logged into his Unicornia Friendship Guard character, watched as the gold-plated hovertanks surrounding the palace vanished, one after another. "I keep thinking there's something familiar about all this."

Session 49.3 General Lemarc

"Discord!!!" yelled President Sombra, in a voice that sounded like it belonged to some sort of evil overlord. "Get in here!"

"Oh boy!" Squealed Gabby the Intern. "My first company crisis! Is it a hostile takeover? An evil hacker group? All out corporate warfare?!?!?"

"None of those things, though hacking was involved," Said President Sombra, who didn't remember asking the new intern to run into his office and start shouting disaster suggestions, but currently had better things to do than yell at her. "Some hacker seems to have gained control over three girls' accounts from some public-access computers, and has been spending (he paused to double check the figures on his screen) a ludicrous amount of money on the new cutie mark change and customization features.

"Wait," Gabby said, pausing mid-gush. "Can I see those account names? I might know them."

"Well I don't kno-you're looking anyway, so whatever."

"Its not a hack. They're just that crazy."

"Well then. Discord. Prepare the Angry-Letter-Device for when their parents find out."

"Ooh! Is that some sort of machine that automatically reads letters and logs the complaints in order to improve games?!"

"Why yes it is little one," Discord said, while ushering Gabby back towards Gilda, ignoring her frantic motions to send her anywhere else, "and it is in no way a device that simultaneously shreds and sets fire to letters that won't cause us legal or financial trouble. And speaking of financial trouble, I'd try to stop your friends from spending all their money on my new cutie mark feature. Or at least record their faces when they see how much they spent."

Meanwhile, in the CHS library...

"Aw c'mon!" Sweetie Bell moaned. "That one isn't right either."

"Um Sweetie?" Applebloom asked nervously "Have you seen how many bits we've been spending on this?"

"No, but it can't be that... many... oh boy."

"Welp," Scootaloo said, "we're grounded forever anyway, so LadyBelle, AppleArchitect, and Shootaloo might as well go on one more adventures!"

"Eh."

"Ah'm fine with that."

And thus did the human CMC enjoy their last hour of ungrounded freedom, while trying to ignore the still-not-quite-right cutie marks on their character's flanks.

Session 49.4 Kendell2

Chrysalis sighed as Sombra called the lot of them into his office AGAIN. "What is it THIS time?"

"Our worst fears have been realized," Sombra said grimly. "World of Horsecraft has been hacked."

He pressed a button, turning on a screen and showing what looked like an ALICORN player character with red fur, a black, blue, and orange mane, dressed in golden armor that didn't even EXIST in the game in it's present form, and a massive sword with more reach than anything they'd included, who was presently going on a player killing rampage.

Discord growled. "Hey! They have an overpowered PC! Only WE'RE supposed to have overpowered PCs!"

"And they're going to get our players to rage quit..." Chrysalis muttered. "Discord! Get in your office and drop the ban hammer on them!"

"I do not believe that is a wise choice of action."

The group turned as Snow and Ganglia both walked in.

"Sombra told me to stick around for a few days to make sure this wouldn't get worse," Snow explained, walking up and looking at it. "And it has."

"So why SHOULDN'T we ban them?" Chrysalis asked.

"Because so long as they're hacked into our system like THIS, I can trace their connection back to their PC," Ganglia explained with a smirk.

"Good! We can finally end this!" Sombra said with a smirk.

"The only problem is we need to distract them so they don't notice Ganglia's counter hack," Snow pointed out.

"...That is an issue..."

Discord tapped his chin. "That's the issue, keeping them busy without making them rage quit..."

"Ugh! Again?!" Rainbow Dash asked, growing as their party got wiped by the hacker. AGAIN.

"I don't think we can kill that guy," Sunset said, rubbing her head.

"But that's GOT to be the hacker!" Rainbow Dash replied. "This might be our only chance to give them a piece of our mind!"

"Yeah, but all we're doing is giving them some fun at this point..." Sunset muttered.

Sci Twi had recorded the fight (her brother liked to do videos) and was watching it. "...Let's go again..."

Sunset blinked. "What?" she asked. Sci Twi was more logical minded, she wouldn't ask that if she didn't have a reason.

"Trust me, I think I might have figured something out..."

*One defeat later*

Before their party got wiped, Twilight managed to hit a Damage Over Time move on the Hacker...

"GOT IT!" the human Twilight exclaimed. "Watch this!"

She replayed the footage...and her damage over time move made the hacker's health bar GO DOWN, though it quickly refilled.

"So?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"So, they have an incredibly high defense and passive healing, NOT invulnerability!" the purple girl said, giving a smirk. "Which means..."

Sunset blinked. Then smiled. "They CAN be hurt!"

"...And if it can lose HP, it can die," Applejack said, cracking her fingers.

"But how are we going to inflict THAT much damage?" Rainbow Dash asked.

Sunset put a finger to her chin...then smirked. "The same way we beat ALL our enemies..."

"Um...Sombra?" Discord asked. "You might want to see this..."

Sombra and Chrysalis came over, looking over his shoulder. "...That should probably distract them..." Chrysalis said, eyes going wide.

=One Piece Epic Battle Theme - One Piece=

Marching together as one massive party, the Humane Seven, the Equestrian Luna, both Spikes, the human Big Mac, the Equestrian Discord, Starlight Glimmer, Trixie, and Thorax, Shining Armor and his friends, the CMC (including Applebloom's cousin Babs), Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, human Alisa, and Gilda arrived before the hacker.

Applejack looked to Big Mac. "Uh...yah do know yah can have Stallions now, right?"

Big Mac glared. "Ah'm plenty secure in mah masculinity. Besides, Ah LIKE Orchard Blossom just the way she is! Ah spent a lot of time makin' her."

"...Can't argue with that."

The Hacker did a taunting pose. 'Ready to respawn, noobs?'

"You're the one respawning this time, you jerk!" Rainbow Dash said, glaring intensely.

"Ready every one?" Sunset asked through her headset.

"Ready!" announced everyone.

"Remember! Damage Over Time, Poison, and any other constant damage effect you can think of!" Sci Twi announced. "If you don't have that, either focus on healing or dealing as much normal damage as possible! Don't give them ANY time to breathe!"

The group started with the tanks charging in and taking a few of the Hacker's overpowered attacks to distract him before falling back to get healed, then their mages all firing every damage over time spell they had, managing to make a chip in the Alicorn's health bar before having to shield or dodge their equally overpowered counter spells.

Trixie's Rogue took the distraction to get in and poison them, the other characters with poison based powers all doing it at the same time, managing to stack it as high as it would go before several of them needed REVIVED by the group's healers.

The CMC rushed in and delivered several more damage over time attacks before nearly getting wiped by the return fire...when Diamond Tiara and Silver used their shielding abilities to save them.

"Ugh! We're not doing enough damage!" Sunset exclaimed, stacking a Burn debuff on the Hacker as high as she could. Sooner or later they'd not be able to revive any more or miss out. Yes, they could keep coming back, but they'd lose time they needed to wear them down! In fact that ALMOST happened to Rising_Sun that very moment.

The human Sweetie Belle tapped her chin. While technically the CMC were grounded, Rarity had asked their parents to let them help her with a 'special project' (on the condition the three of them do nothing but this). "Cover me!"

The others jumped and quickly shielded her. "Sweetie, what are yah doin'?!" Applebloom asked.

"Calling in the big guns!"

Discord's eyes went wide as the Hacker began charging up a spell. "Oh no, they've got access to the BANNED spells!"

"That's...not good..." Chrysalis admitted.

The Hacker began charging an AOE move.

"Everyone! Take cover!" Sunset yelled over the headset as everyone either shielded or got BEHIND someone with a shield.

The attack flew out and nearly killed them THROUGH the barrier spells and tanks! In fact a few tanks were in need to resurrection spells. In fact several players had been killed outright and needed to make their way back upon respawn, leaving them a few hands down until they returned!

"We need more players!" Rainbow Dash called.

As the Hacker charged up again, several stun based spells hit them and canceled it.

'Having trouble with this noob?'

Sci Twi blinked and brought the Shadowbolts into the call upon recognizing the five PCs that just arrived. "Sugarcoat?"

"We decided to help kick this loser's tail," Indigo Zapp said.

"It's not like we wanted to help you or anything!" Sour Sweet said.

"...I did..." Sugarcoat said simply.

Sci Twi gave a small smile. "Plan is pound him with damage over time and status debuffs!"

As the grand battle continued, a massive fire ball spell hit the Hacker, inflicting a rather bad burn. A max level Earth Pony player decked out in the highest tier armor presently available entered the fray.

'This looks like a fun boss! Thanks for inviting me!'

"Thanks for coming Button!"

"You're welcome, Sweetie Belle!" Button Mash said, playing at his computer. He then noticed something. "Hey! You said this is an Alicorn! He's not!"

"Huh? What do you mean?" asked Sweetie Belle.

"My enemy scan spell isn't showing any Earth Pony in them!"

Sunset blinked and did one of her own. "He's right! They're just Pegasus and Unicorn! No Earth Pony! The idiot must have thought Alicorns where just Winged Unicorns!"

The pony Twilight glared. "I think I know who the hacker, or should I say HACKERS are now..."

"Haha! This is like shooting fish in a barrel!" Decepticolt said with a smirk, looming over the computer in the trio's lair.

"My turn!" Zappityhoof exclaimed, taking over.

"How much longer before they ban us?" Goldcap asked.

"Who cares? We'll just hack 'em again," Decepticolt replied. Little Pip hadn't had the guts to take any revenge...or at least SOME bit of morals. These three, however? Not a bit.

"Wait! If they've got no Earth Pony, that means they don't have any of the higher tier defensive and healing abilities that race has!" Sci-Twi said, smiling. "That means they can't buff themselves any FURTHER in those stats effectively!"

"...Defense down spells, now!"

While they couldn't lower it THAT much, the defense down spells proved their hypothesis: they didn't have the effective counter spells to rebuff themselves back up and their health started decreasing as more damage racked up, but not enough.

"Twilight, I just called in some insanely destructive friends," said Dragon Spike.

Twilight blinked. "Who?"

'HACKER CHEATING! YAKS DESTROY!'

"...That'll help!"

"Decepticolt, our health is going down!" Zappityhoof exclaimed. "Why did our health go down?!"

"I don't know! this wasn't supposed to happen!"

"Well...HACK HARDER!"

"DURING this? Do you have any idea how long it took to MAKE this PC?!"

The Hackers' PC began to spam everything it had, making a dent even in it's vastly overpowered mana reserves, but with as many players as they had, the group managed to endure with defensive spells, healing, and revival spells, and kept pounding, and beating away at their HP.

"We need to finish them off or they'll just log out and buff this guy up!" Rainbow Dash said, nothing they were panicking.

Twilight gave a thought, remembering how they'd beaten them in Equestria. "...Girls, stop the defense debuffs! Hit our attackers with every attack buff spell we've got! We're going to finish!"

"Right!"

After several more minutes of chipping away at their health, nearly getting killed, and struggle, they'd finally maxed out the attack buff on their heavy hitters.

"NOW!" Sunset yelled, the group continuing to rain everything they had on the Hacked PC...then stopping right as their attackers rushed forwards and chained together several heavy hits.

"This is for messing with my friends' good time, you jerk!" Rainbow Dash yelled, her character landing one last blow with the most powerful lightning spell she had, causing the hacked PC's HP to drop to zero.

The united raid party cheered as the overpowered, player killing boss of a PC fell to the ground and vanished as all deceased players did.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Gold Cap yelled, shaking with rage.

"We...we lost..." Decepticolt said, eyes going wide.

"But...but we were invincible...this...this..." muttered Zappityhoof, saring in disbelief.

"We got 'em!" Applejack cheered, high fiving Rainbow.

"Wait for it..." said Rainbow Dash...

'Ultimate_Princess has left the game.'

"And there's the rage quit!" Rainbow Dash said with a smirk as cheering resumed.

"They did it!" Discord exclaimed, smirking as the office cheered.

"Discord, make those players some event capes," Sombra ordered.

"Yes sir!"

"Yeah, but did we have enough time?" Chrysalis asked Ganglia and Snow.

Ganglia merely gave a smirk. She then pressed the enter key on her computer.

"IT DOESN'T MATTER!" Goldcap roared, punching the wall while Zappityhoof practically threw a temper tantrum. "We'll hack them again and there's nothing they can do about it!

Decepticolt prepared to set that up...when their computer suddenly crashed and began sparking. "...They...they just hacked us! Our computer's fried!"

"HOW COULD THIS GET ANY WORSE?!" Goldcap screamed.

The trio then blinked as their was a knock on the door.

"What now?!" Decepticolt asked, heading to answer it...and finding several police officers at the door.

"Goldcap, Decepticolt, and Zappityhoof, you are under arrest for hacking Crystalsoft. We tracked the hack right back to your location," the officer said, showing his badge.

Zappityhoof looked to Goldcap. "...You had to say it, didn't you?"

Session 49.5 General Lemarc

OOC: This takes place during the events of the Second Great Muffin Trial, when Doctor Whooves was absent.

The Doctor technically hadn't been lying when he said he'd be out of town for Derpy's next meet-up. Because, at this point in time, Ponyville hadn't been founded yet. And it would never be, unless he could convince the cyber-ponies that there were better fuel sources than zap-apples, and also could they please not abduct the (surprisingly adorable) young Annie Smith?

"Why zap apples? Why not fusion or infinite improbability or friendship? They're all self-sustaining!"

"Zap-apples-contain-energy-of-a-much-greater-quality-than-any-other-fuel-sources. Also, data-not-found-on-subject: friendship."

"Why am I not surprised?"

"Now hold on fer just a durn second!" Annie rasped in a voice that seemed to belong to a pony a century older, before coughing so hard she nearly escaped the cyber-pony that was holding her. "Gol durn robot fumes," she said, now sounding like a normal young mare again. "If'n yer so big on 'deletin' all life, then why're ya gonna run yerselves off fruit? Ya'd have to grow zap-apple trees, and even if'n ya had some sort of fancy robot magic to avoid that, ya'd still be growin' and creatin' living things to power yerselves. That's so ridiculous its downright hilarious!" And she began laughing long and loud, while the cyber-ponies looked to one another.

"Does-not-compute," the unit that lead them said, "does-not-compute-does-not-computedoesnotcomputedoesnotcomputedoes." the cyber-pony exploded, followed quickly by its minions.

"So that's where that came from," The Doctor mumbled, while pointing his sonic screwdriver at a deactivated cyber-pony head. "Ms. Smith, would you mind repeating that to our cyber-pony friends in space?"

One paradox-ing later, and history had been secured.

"Thank ya kindly, Doc!" Annie said, putting a hoof around his shoulders. "Iff'n there's anything I can do to repay ya, just say the word."

"Actually, there is," said the Doctor. He quickly trotted over to his TARDIS, and returned with a small package balanced on his back.

"This package contains a dormant dragon egg. I'm trying to keep it safe for... a friend of mine, but as you can see, my line of work doesn't lend itself to safety. And (as ridiculous as this statement will be in a century, he mumbled) your new town here seems like a safe, calm place. I only ask that you keep this egg safe in a warm, dry place until I return. Trust me when I say that all Equestria will thank you."

"Welp, I can't hardly say this is weirder than them robots," Annie Smith replied. "Ya can count on me and the Apple family to keep it safe fer ya."

"Thank you very much, Ms. Smith." Goodbyes were exchanged, and the Doctor was off once again. He wiped sweat from his brow after setting his next set of coordinates, and let out a relieved sigh. All he needed to do now was lead the Daleks on a wild goose-chase through a few different centuries-foal's play now that the egg was safe. Then he'd just get it back once they were off his tail, deliver it back to Celestia's School before Twilight's exam, and history would be fine. Though dragons tended to pick up information while still in the egg, he was sure the alterations would be minimal. After all, it wasn't like the Apple Family had some sort of lingering magic on them or anything.

over eight decades later, YOH 100x

"...and Rainbow takes 13 points of damage, leaving her at 12 hit points." Spike had just finished reading off damage calculations for the girls' latest campaign, which wasn't all that odd. What was odd was that he'd done it perfectly not only without stopping to count on his claws or think for a second, but he'd been scribbling down a new recipe for gem cake while doing the math, and had apparently not been paying much, if any, attention to the calculations.

"Spike dear, have you always been this...efficient at math"? Asked Rarity, voicing the mild confusion of the entire group.

"Eeyup," replied Spike, finishing up his recipe and preparing for the next turn. "Ah don't know what yer on about."

Session 49.6 Quartzscale

Decepticolt, Zappityhoof, and Gold Cap sat within a detention cell after being raided. The charges were pretty steep and would cost a lot of bits to fight against. What made it worse was that Sombra had sent him to deal with it. Rabia liked him but these three knew first hand just how terrifying this man could be. Rumor had it that he found a new protege to teach and raise for the firm he was part of and it left them unsettled.

"So what do think Colt? We gonna be able to fight this... sticky situation?" Gold Cap asked more for her own safety rather than theirs.

"Depends on how he's feeling." He looked towards the ground thinking up any counters he could possibly grasp at. He had nothing most of his bits had gone to the computing giant which was now a smoldering piles of circuitry from the counter hack.

Then he stepped through the door tall and imposing as always. Tirek had entered the building and stared the three down. A few more steps signaled that another person was with him. She looked familiar.

"Little Pip!" The three called out.

"Oh so you guys really did do it? Jeez I was sad that I got fired but I know it was for a good reason. You three are pathetic. " She rolled her eyes before stiffening back into her new professional demeanor.

"Now Miss Pip don't be too harsh on them. They know that Rabia enjoys a good prank such as this." Tirek smiled but it was devoid of happiness. Rabia had heard what happened and how much money it had cost to fix the problems. She was not happy. When one of the guards was delivering her to her psychiatric evaluations she broke one of his legs and was put in solitary arguing something about money being wasted and the something about cauterizing something so they would never breed again. He had tuned it out during one of their delightful get togethers.

"So what happens to us then Tirek?" Decepticolt was the only one out of the three to have the spine to talk to him. Albeit it wasn't that strong as his voice cracked the entire way through.

"Well... I was thinking about some new help I needed with a game I once thought up and I was willing to hire you before you did something like this. Now you gotta prove yourself for it." He lied. Rabia had asked him for a favor. With Little Pip's idea they would get in contact with Ira and have her develop something to that caliber and while that meant hiring the girl to act as his protege it was well worth it for the details that the three were in for. The contracts would be iron clad and highly demoralizing but all too amusing. All they needed to do was play a little game.

"Here's the deal. They want you away bad. You nearly compromised a lot of assets and pissed off a lot of people. I've done a deal where you'll only have to serve a year but you have to sign some contracts right now. Don't worry it's not like slavery. I'm sure once you're reading it you'll agree to the terms." Tirek smiled as he motioned Little Pip over to hand Decepticolt a copy.

As he read his eyes widened and looked a little shocked. The terms were unfair and slightly damning to the three but when he saw the alternative would be twenty years in jail and no set bail for the three of them separately he just shook his head. Gold Cap looked mortified when she read and Zappityhoof sighed in exasperation.

"Fine we'll bite. What's the catch." Decepticolt asked only stopping to mutter the word 'monster' under his breath. A word that was caught very fast.

"Now now my dear boy," Tirek placed his hand on Colt's shoulder squeezing hard enough to show just how much stronger he was. Little Pip quickly looked away not wanting to jeopardize another job opportunity like last time. "I'm no monster. In fact I dare say this is the fairest deal you'll be getting with the lightest sentence ever. None of you deserve it but someone decided you are worth every cent."

They weren't. Rabia made it very clear that they would pay back every cent they wasted while hacking her company. It might not be in her name anymore but it was one she created and ‘gave' to her son. She didn't but to this day she didn't understand what had truly happened.

"So what's the game?" Decpticolt gulped paling moment by moment for suddenly being heard,

"Simple. Survive one year of prison and then you'll be set ‘free'. Then you'll be working on something for me and if you succeed at it we won't talk about this incident again." Tirek smiled while Little Pip kept her smirk from showing. While the boss' antics were entertaining to watch she knew that he was absolutely livid right now. Every second he would clench his fist behind his back. In his hand was a stress ball which he had crushed into a fine dust somehow. She then noticed that it wasn't a ball but a very smooth rock. She winced and looked away while the three seemed to notice her flinch.

"Where will we be serving our sentence?" The three called out.

"Happy Sunshine Penitentiary." Tirek answered.

The three blanched before fainting. Luckily the three had signed before passing out. Tirek walked out followed by Little Pip. She looked confused.

"Uh boss... I know I'm the new blood and all and you're wasting your time on me and everything but um... why is that place so bad?" She looked on waiting for an answer.

"Do you know Rabia?"

"Yeah?"

"When she was sent there she nearly got the place to follow her every command hence why they moved her to Crystal State Lockdown. That place is now a hellhole filled with the most vile thing possible. Cutesy things that could melt your eyes. They were placed there to counteract what Rabia did to that place. Now anyone that goes there had a chance of following some weird following known as Accord which makes you helpful to society. For those without morals it is one of the scariest places on this planet," Tirek explained.

"W-w-why isn't Rabia there anymore?"

"She was the one who helped start it in the first place. For fun."

Little Pip stopped talking and knew that she would never visit Rabia with her boss no matter what happened, a fact he was fine with. Needless to say the two walked out and went back to the firm while the three in their cells contemplated just where their lives went so wrong.

Session 49.7 Alex Warlorn

"What doeth this mean, the servers are all down? Just help the servants back up again!"

"They're not that kind of servers Luna." Twilight admitted. "It seems that after what those hackers did, they had to take down the servers to debug them and reinforce security. . ." Twilight slipped and clapped her hooves. "On the plus side!" She took out her Ogres and Oubliettes books. "That means every pony can get back to basics!"

-

"The Gun Gal servers are down too?!" Indigo Zap explained.

"Looks like we're gonna be playing with Oubliette Overseer Sunny Flare." Lemon Zest admitted.

-

"It was so nice you agreed to game with me again Cadence." Chrysalis said.

"Uh, of course Chryssy." 'Cadence' grinned. Chrysalis had ordered her minions to shape shift into Shining Armor, Flash Sentry, Cadence, and Gaffer. And to play the table top board game that had been taboo under her rule. And none of them felt like arguing with their queen right now.

-

"Do you think they'll finally have another session of those teenagers from outer space again?" Scootaloo asked as the girls looked through their binoculars into the cutie mark map being used as as a game table.

"Ah hope so, those were super fun just to watch as much as it was fer them to play." Apple Bloom admitted.

-

Spike screamed, "AH! I had this horrible nightmare where I had Applejack's accident... not that there's anything WRONG with Applejack's accent mind you... Now let's see here, Cheerilee's Edutainment time travel enchanted comic... the enchanted comic where Humdrum and Radiance's children from the future to help stop a villain, I don't care what the publishers say it's still canon to me... here we go, O&O basic! The classic! No hand holding here! PCs are expected to die on a daily basis, and you live and die by your dice! Wait till they get a load of this!"

Session 49.8 Kendell2

"So, what's this game about?" Rainbow Dash asked as they looked at the game, which showed several Alicorns, Draconequi, Great Griffons, Ryujin, and Changeling Emperor/Empresses, among other things. All looking powerful and regal.

"It's called 'Age of the Gods'," Spike explained. "It's...okay, you know how in O&O, your player characters can serve gods?"

The others nodded.

"Well this is kinda the opposite," the little drake explained. "Instead of playing the PC following a god, you play the god and manage your followers and role in the game world. Well, you still have PC followers, but I'll get to that."

"So we make a deity and then play as them and their role in the universe, like Celestia and Luna running Equestria and controlling the Sun and Moon," Twilight explained. "Celestia, Luna, and a few other deities decided it might give mortals a good look at what it's like to be a deity."

"Sounds awesome!...Wait, where's the catch?" Gilda asked, looking suspicious. "There has to be one, no way you'd just let us be all powerful gods. We need prayer or we die or something?"

"No, but that's part of the point," the Princess of Friendship explained. "Serving the needs of mortals doesn't actually DIRECTLY benefit you in any way, you have no OBLIGATION to do so, but having mortal followers DOES help you spread your values and ideals, since they'll do things in your name...mostly...sometimes they do things in YOUR name, but not things you WANT, and you have to choose how to react to that."

"Let me guess, we're secretly evil then?" Gilda asked, having played enough NRPGs.

"No...well, you CAN be," Spike said, looking at the rules. "There's nothing STOPPING you from being evil, but it's kinda not recommended."

"Why?"

Spike raised up the rules, which showed a picture of Discord being turned to stone by the Elements. "Because the Elements and other artifacts to keep evil gods are a thing. That, and the other gods can and are encouraged to help defeat you."

"Oh..."

"Speaking of which..." Spike said, putting four character figures on the table. One looked like a Neighponese student, another looked like a scantly clad witch with long hair, the third looked like hulking six front legged stallion, and the fourth looked like an INSANELY angry white furred stallion with red markings on him and a pair of wicked looking swords. "One of these is the main villain. They seek to wipe out all gods to 'free' ponykind from them, not realizing the consequences of that or that they're not right about ALL of them."

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. "Those characters look pretty dang familiar..."

"Yeah, they're supposed to," Spike said with a chuckle. "The villains are based off 'god killing' protagonists as an injoke. All in good fun. Anyway, you'll need your follower's and ally's help to stop them, since in this universe, if a god dies, what they embody doesn't work right anymore...like 'perpetual drought' if the deity of the sun dies."

Rainbow Dash cringed. "Got it...Wonder if real gods have to deal with this..."

"PREPARE TO DIE, OPPRESSIVE DEITY!" shouted a black armored knight as he charged Tiamat's castle.

Tiamat growled. "Ugh! There's another one! Bahamut, can you get this one? I got the last one!"

Bahamut nodded. "Yes, dear," he said, the gave a roar, causing a lightning bolt to crash down from the sky.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Tiamat blinked. "...You didn't kill him."

"That would just prove his point, dear," Bahamut replied.

"And here's the last thing," Spike said, smirking. "Your mortal PCs? They CAN'T be following your deity, except your chief priest. You have to be following EACH OTHER'S deity while they do the normal dungeon crawling stuff.."

The group blinked, looking to each other. "...Guess that's fair."

"You can guide your followers, give them help, but the MORE you help obviously, the more their 'Dependency' stat goes up and the harder it will be fore them to do things for themselves," Twilight explained. "But if you don't do ANYTHING, they won't get help when they need it. So the best way to do it is to is to help in subtle ways unless needed."

"Alright, time to make your gods," Spike said. "Uses the same morality system of O&O."

Session 49.9 Mtangalion

Following Ken's part...

"First!" squawked Gilda, raising a talon.

Spike smirked. "I can see why Twilight said you need a timeout from those human world forums."

"What?" Gilda folded her forelimbs indignantly. "Early griffon gets the shiny."

Rarity chuckled. "So, you do have a character in mind, darling? You weren't shouting ‘first' merely for the sake of being first?"

"Pfft, how lame would that be? My character is Bellaria, the celestial griffon goddess of tasty desserts." Gilda grinned triumphantly. "No way I can screw that up. Oh, right... she's chaotic good, cause nothing matters but how good the snacks taste."

Pinkie's mane deflated slightly. "Aw, I wanted to be the goddess of snacks."

Gilda waved her talons dismissively. "Sorry, Pinkie. You can be the goddess of parties or something."

Pinkie gasped! "Ooh! I want that too!" She bounced in her seat, unleashing a small blizzard of confetti. "Make way for Ludicrissia, Alicorn Goddess of Parties! She's awful neutral."

Applejack twitched an eyebrow. "Say what, now?"

Twilight raised a hoof. "I think you mean 'lawful neutral.'"

Pinkie laughed, rubbing her forehooves together maniacally. "Right, awful neutral! Followers of Ludicrissia will have three parties per day, no more and no less. That's the rule!"

Session 49.10 Quartzscale

Adding on to Ken's part after Mtanga's

"Oh boy... Anyways my character is Demetria the Guardian Deer of the Harvest and Family. And she's Neutral Good. Gotta respect the family o'course." Applejack piped in after brushing away some of the confetti.

"Really Applejack?" Twilight asked. It was the first time she had chosen a druid like character.

"Yeah. Issat a problem?" Applejack quirked her eyebrow uncertain of the tone she was getting.

"No. None at all." Twilight quickly clammed up. Regardless of what she wanted to say she didn't like Applejack's stubborness to cover her decision making.

Rarity was still fumbling through the character choices with multiple stops on an Empress or an Alicorn. While the beauty was something she really wanted part of her wanted the ability to change clothes whenever she wanted. Fluttershy was also looking through the books but was still undecided. Rainbow Dash finally spoke up figuring out her character.

"Ooh I got one that's really awesome. Presenting Accelerator the draconequus of speed! A chaotic neutral force of speed and the need to feel the sheer force behind a tornado. Fast paced and air based!" Rainbow Dash promptly did a few shadow boxing moves while grinning widely.

Somewhere far away Discord smiled as he had some tea with Celestia and Luna. It was a calm meeting but still the sister's knew that at least chaotic him was totally in control of his desires unlike the harmony based being he once was.

Session 49.11 SomeRandomMinion

Supplement to MtangaLion's bit

The dark-armored knight twitched on the ground. "FOUL BEAST--owchie!--YOU SHALL PAY FOR THE THE GRIFFON CITY YOUR UNHOLY BACKSIDE DESTROYED!"

All five of Tiamat's heads scoffed. "THAT'S what made you try to kill me, mortal?! I've crushed kingdoms for a diplomatic slight, devoured armies FOR FUN, and wiped nations from the map for slaying my children, when THEY were the ones who attacked first...and some pithy tale of me SITTING on a city--by ACCIDENT--that my mate gave me as a gift is what ignites your stupid crusade?!"

The knight blinked behind his helmet's visor. "Huh...when you put it THAT way, it WAS pretty stupid. Talk about not having my priorities straight..."

Session 49.12 BrutalityInc

(Side-drabble to Kendell2's idea)

Meanwhile, in Canterlot, the Princesses were also planning a 'Age of the Gods' game session of their own, this time playing with their fellow deities. There are debates over which ones to invite, and certain issues that needed to be addressed.

"For the last time, no, Luna! We're not inviting Emperor Blackthorn to the game table, even out of courtesy!" Princess Celestia snapped, writing letters to invite the Zebra pantheon.

"Why, Tia? We're inviting Blackrose and some of her children to the game." Luna asked, baffled, "If she is there, she could keep him reined in - !"

"She would, but that would just upset her more than anything." Princess Celestia, shooting down Luna's suggestion, "And you know how he would act. He'll secretly play every god and immortal on the table against each other over the session until it boils over, and use the ensuring chaos and infighting to derail the campaign and seize supremacy in-game! And even if he does follow the campaign, he'll use the whole session as a means to get up-to-date assessment of other gods' capabilities and use that information to further more of his schemes!"

"Well... you have a point, but knowing him, he'll just show up anyway uninvited, probably disguised as one of the other gods." Luna conceded with a sigh. "If so, we better invite Tiamat and Bahumet then. Many gods like us had countered Blackthorn's schemes before, but only old Bahumet had consistently match and even out-gambit the Prince of Deceit."

Princess Celestia found herself nodding in agreement. The ages-long game of intrigue between the two archenemies are legendary among the deities and immortals of the world. Both regarded each other as worthy opponents - Bahumet to Blackthorn as the only one being who managed to decisively foil his plans every time with his grand age and experience, and Blackthorn to Bahumet as the only 'upstart' among the deities who ever matched him through sheer skills.

"And speaking of old gods, should we also invite Boreas and Astra?" Luna suggested, "They haven't been involved with the affairs of their followers and other gods for ages. We should know how they are doing and vice versa..."

"Maybe we should invite the rest of the Griffon pantheon as well? Remember Boreas and Astra are not the only deities of their people." Celestia added, "Should we also extend an invitation to the Orosian Pantheon as well? They haven't been among the mortals and gods for a long time as well."

This time, it was Luna's turn to sneer, "Ilios is still trying to hit on me and every other goddess he could get close to. Bellamos are still trying to start wars everywhere. Thalasson would bicker with King Leo over control of the seas. Anato, Floga, Pyrka and Kafsios are still smarting over losing their status as 'Sun-raisers' to the unicorns after losing their chariot, and then to you. And that winged Minotaur they have for a king, Ouratheros, is still a bullheaded, domineering flank-hole who still thinks he's the best of all the gods. So no, they're not exactly withdrawn, and I don't think we should invite them over..."

"Now, now, Lulu, Ouratheros can be reasonable and honorable, when not clouded by his own pride and insecurities." Celestia reminded. Though she had recalled he had entertained the thought of frying the game company that made that game based on them with thunderbolts for 'not giving them proper homage'. "I think Tachos would be alright - the messenger god is quite a bit of fun; he'll get along with the other trickster deities. And Santor and Thelgossa are fair among their kin."

"Alright then. Let's invite those three." Luna concurred. "Now, the next big questions: What should our godly-characters be, and what do we do if Discord crashes the session...?"

Session 49.13 Kendell2

"Um..." Fluttershy said, blushing a bit. The thought of being a god made her blush. "My goddess is Aceso, the Alicorn of Healing. She's Neutral Good...Is that alright?"

Spike nodded. "Yeah, you're fine, Fluttershy," he said with a smile.

"Well, at first I was kind of uncertain about playing a god, for obvious reasons," Starlight explained. "But then I remembered that a god encourages their followers to follow their philosophy and spread it, so I changed my mind. My deity is Aequitas, the Draconequus of Equality and Fairness. She is Chaotic Good."

"Draconequus?" Twilight asked.

"Made up of all the different species of the world and holding no preference for any race," Twilight's student explained.

"Oh. Well, my goddess is Minerva, the Alicorn Goddess of Knowledge, Learning, and Books! She's Lawful Good," Twilight explained, looking adorkable.

Spike gave a smile. "Sounds fine."

All eyes fell on the still indecisive Rarity.

Session 49.14 Ardashir

"My goddess is Lucia," Rarity said, her horn glowing as she created an illusion of a snowy-coated, amethyst maned and tailed, magnificently lovely Alicorn. "She's beautiful, isn't she?"

"Sure is," Spike looked dreamy. "Could you, ah, make her move a little? Lift her forehof and pose, stuff like that?"

Rarity smiled and obliged, showing Lucia in several poses, the alicorn moving with infinite grace. Spike watched, and the other ponies wondered if they saw little hearts appearing in his eyes.

It dragged on for several moments before Twilight finally coughed. "A-hem! So, Rarity, what is Lucia the goddess of? Distracting young dragons?"

"What? Oh, yes! Hah," Rarity grinned and blushed as she made the illusion vanish. "She's the goddess of beauty, crafting, and art." She sighed dramatically. "Whenever somepony creates a lovely piece of jewelry, or a magnificent dress, or even a first rate song, Lucia is pleased."

"She reached for that idea, didn't she?" Dash whispered to Applejack.

Session 49.15 Quartzscale

The night was young as three ponies sat around a worn coffee table. Finally after all that secrecy Doctor Whooves was back in town enjoying muffins with Derpy and Bon Bon. Vinyl and Octavia were on their way with Lyra after they had attempted a little musical get together. Derpy had baked special muffins now that everypony was on their way. Still her curiosity was blazing forth at this point. The muffin button was hidden behind her back ready for her to press it when it got to the last muffin at this point. It was something she had been planning for a bit if only to see what the Doc turned into. Bon Bon had always worn a blue suit and red tie combo. Lyra wore the red suit with the cravat tie. Octavia went all fancy and managed to have a whip as well which kind of terrified and interested Derpy all the same.

"Who would like the last muffin?" Derpy asked.

"Me." Doc said.

Bon Bon was hesitant but also answered as well. "Me."

They both stared at each other and before Doc could give the muffin over Derpy pressed the button and the court came to life leaving her as the judge once again. Bon Bon was over on her left dressed exactly as last time only this time she was staring at the Doc almost mesmerized by the sight. Derpy was confused until she saw why.

Standing on her right Doc's hair turned pure white as a strange visor appeared over his eyes. The thing slits glowed a bright red as it shined over Bon Bon's eyes. He wore a striped green shirt covered by a brown vest and in his hoof sat a cup of still hot coffee. He slowly sniffed at the beverage and smiled at the two. Then Derpy's wings shot up luckily hidden by the desk she sat behind.

"O-o-opening St-statements please..." Derpy actually had both eyes focused on the Doc.

"Of course... Um... I deserve the first muffin probably cause Derpy has more in the oven ready for everypony once they get here."

OBJECTION!

The doc slammed his coffee on the table shocking the two mares and bringing them back to their senses.

"I couldn't agree more. It is impossible to predict what the future has in store for any of us. This is precisely why ponies feel the need to judge the past. And we of the kitchen have been charged with the solemn duty of passing such judgment."

Both mares seemed to stare at Doc. A little intimidated and kind of surprised by the confidence. Derpy's wings shot up for the second time and she quickly snuffed them out before Bon Bon could notice.

Before Bon Bon could answer Derpy quickly pressed the muffin button gave Bon Bon the muffin and shoved her out the door with said muffin.
Stunned she tried to get back inside only to see a sign on the door.

DON"T DISTURB FOR THREE HOURS

The other ponies of the group finally came to the house only to frown at the mare sitting outside the house bitterly eating the muffin.

"What happened?" Octavia asked letting both Lyra and Vinyl nodding their head in the affirmative.

"Muffin button and making Doc desirable for a few seconds..." She mumbled the last few words enough to make certain that none of them actually heard. The muffin button took their attention making Octavia and Lyra immediately understand before anything else could be said.

Meanwhile...

"Oh Doc~ I want to have a word with you~!" Derpy walked back to the kitchen. Her wings were flared just in case of the chase.

Session 49.16 Mtangalion

Spike sighed dreamily. "You know what? I'm feeling inspired! Why don't I create a character too?" He tapped his claws on the crystal table, thinking. "How about... Indomitus, guardian of beauty? He's a fierce wolf god, and he's whatever alignment Lucia... is?"

The little dragon trailed off, realizing that everypony was staring at him. AJ and Rainbow Dash looked deeply suspicious, and Fluttershy seemed to be cowering in her own throne. "Uh, guys?"

Applejack frowned, adjusting her hat. "Wolf god, ya say?" She pointed a hoof dramatically. "Rutabaga flowers are better than apples!"

Nothing happened. "Alisa's safeword?" deadpanned Spike. "Seriously? Just because I mentioned wolves?"

Fluttershy almost seemed to wilt with relief. "Sorry, Spike. I have to admit, I do feel safer, knowing that Alisa isn't sneaking up on us right now to play a scary prank."

"If that even works any more," said Rainbow. "Yeah, she probably got rid of that safeword months ago."

Fluttershy eeped and curled up in fright again.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "All of you are being ridiculous. Alisa isn't anywhere near Ponyville right now."

"Yeah, and how could *I* possibly be Alisa?" protested Spike. "There's no way she'd fit in a baby dragon costume!"

"That's probably true," mused Rarity.

Spike's eyes bulged. "Probably?!"

"Alisa does have strange powers that we know little about, Spikey-Wikey. Why, she once casually claimed that she could grow bigger than the Apple family barn."

"And you believed that?" said Twilight, exasperated.

"Why not?" countered Rainbow Dash. "If you could make me and Gilda giant, then Alisa could shrink and put on a Spike suit. Let's check him for buttons and zippers!"

"What? No!" Spike giggled, batting away blue hooves and feathers. "Cut that out! That tickles!"

Twilight groaned. "Ugh, are you even listening to yourselves!? You all sound as bad as when we first met Zecora."

"Now, that's being a mite unfair, Twi," said Applejack. "Zecora didn't really do anything to deserve us treating her like that. Alisa ain't so innocent."

Rainbow hovered next to AJ, forelimbs folded. "If Paranoia was a draconequus, she'd be Alisa, in a wolf suit!"

Pinkie Pie got a twisty tail twitch and bounced out of her throne unexpectedly, stalking towards a mostly forgotten snack tray. "Maybe... Spike's just a diversion, so Alisa can sneak up and grab the last slice of Zap Apple Pie!" She whipped out a miniature party cannon and fired, which somehow stripped away an invisibility spell to reveal...

Starlight Glimmer, levitating the pie in question with an amused and only slightly guilty expression. "Um... this is exactly what it looks like." She floated the last piece of pie to her muzzle and took a big bite.

Twilight twitched. "Heeey, Starlight? Want to play ‘Age of the Gods'?"

Far away to the north, in the Diamond Wolf city of Icehome, Alisa lounged on a comfy sofa that she'd imported all the way from Ponyville. She read a manega held in her forepaws, tail wagging, then chuckled and turned a page left to right. "Is your move, young mistress."

Sweetie Belle, wearing a nice warm scarf looped twice around her neck, was balancing with only one hoof on the floor of the frost-rimmed cavern, supported by the pale green glow of her magic. "Sorry, Alisa! Um... pawn to prince five!"

Sweetie was levitating a heavy rock at the same time, and two small gemstones which she kept orbiting around the room in lazy arcs. The heavy rock wobbled when Sweetie magically moved her piece on the game board, but only a little. An empty Diamond Wolf Pup suit hung on a peg nearby, and the door to Alisa's cave was magically sealed and warded.

Sweetie cleared her throat. "Alisa... I really want to apologize again. You know, for the way my parents just dropped me off here for more magic lessons without asking, while they're staying at the new Crystal Empire Ice Skating Resort. I'm sure dad won't really turn you into a rug if anything bad happens to me."

"Hrrrmph!" Reluctantly, Alisa put the manega aside and picked up a ledger for "Rarity's Fine Jewelry Designs," double-checking her sums. "Alisa has been having very odd feeling lately. Not sure what is it."

Sweetie Belle grinned. "Maybe you're feeling guilty about driving your pony friends crazy all the time, and you want to go back to Ponyville and apologize?"

Alisa smirked. "Of course not, young mistress! Probably just bad mushroom!" Her thoughtful mood remained, though. "Sweetie Belle is a good apprentice. Listens well, learns quick, keeps Alisa's secrets. This is magic learning time... keep thoughts on magic."

Alisa lifted a fluffy forepaw, and her claw tips seemed to drink in the light of the cavern's glow crystals. Black smoke billowed, forming a clawed hand that moved one of Alisa's game pieces for her. "Princess to knight three, check."

Session 49.17 Kendell2

"Alright, so now time for your mortal character," Spike explained. "And remember, you can't follow your own deity."

"Mine is a Bard named Sweet Song!" Pinkie Pie explained. "She's Chaotic Good and a follower of Bellaria! Seeking to try all kinds of tasty treats and then write songs about them!"

Gilda chuckled. "Well...then my mortal is named Goldina, she's a Chaotic Good Fighter who follows Accelerator. She loves going fast and fighting hard. When she heard about the fight with the godslayer, she decided to come kick some flank!"

"Alright, that's two. Next?" Spike asked, recording as stats and starting load out were handled.

"Um...My mortal is named Tulip. She's a Neutral Good Druid who follows Demetria," Fluttershy explained. "She prayed to Demetria for her family's harvests and wanted to help protect her in return."

OOC: I admit, my knowledge of D&D is very basic.

Session 49.18 Kendell2

OOC: Not sure if anyone actually will USE this, I just want to do it because we've never actually DONE IT. Did the rolls via a dice simulator. No one else HAS to do it, I just WANTED to. I also admit this is based purely off my basic knowledge I VERY RECENTLY gained.

Pinkie Pie did her ability attribute rolls and plugged them in (they were playing with random rolls, four dice dropping the lowest number, but plugging them in however they wanted).

Strength: 8
Dexterity: 15
Constitution: 15
Intelligence: 6
Wisdom: 12
Charisma: 15

"Wow, pretty lucky that time!" Pinkie Pie said, giving a wide smile.

Gilda took her turn and did her plugging in.

Strength: 16
Dexterity: 10
Constitution: 12
Intelligence: 11
Wisdom: 11
Charisma: 8

"Eh, not bad," the Griffon said. At least she got a pretty good strength score. "Alright shy, your turn."

Fluttershy jumped a little. "Oh...Okay..."

Strength: 11
Dexterity: 12
Constitution: 13
Intelligence: 12
Wisdom: 15
Charisma: 10

"Oh...that's not too bad...okay, what are you other girls going to be?" Fluttershy asked, looking to her friends.

Session 49.19 Alex Warlorn

(Friends Forever # 36 joke.)

"I DID NOT GIVE Yakyakstian the Equine flu! You have to believe me!" Shining Armor defended.

"Guards say you travel all the way up hill in cold! Pony likely catch cold and give it Yaks and make it cross species barrier! Yaks demand reparations for costs of medicine!"

"You've been isolated for centuries, I wasn't the only creature there! It's natural your species' immune system will have degraded in such an isolated environment!"

"Dear, why are the Yak bombing us with tissues? And can we blame this on Chrysalis somehow?"

"I'm trying but I can't think of anything."

"I miss the days when the Crystal Empire was boring."

Session 49.20 Mtangalion

Sweetie Belle trotted... no, *padded* through the rough stone tunnels of Icehome, looking all around in wonder at all the big wolves going about their daily tasks.

The costume that made her look just like a snowy white Diamond Wolf pup with a fluffy purple mane and tail was a magical marvel, so light and comfortable that Sweetie might have begun to doubt that she actually was a pony, if Alisa hadn't showed her several times how to take it off and put it on again. She could wag her tail just like Apple Bloom's dog Winona, and snarl and bark, and even curl her paws and wiggle her wolfy toes... but that made no sense. Whatever the suit looked like, she was a *pony* with *hooves* underneath... wasn't she?

Sweetie realized that she was starting to panic and made herself take deep breaths. "I guess shouldn't think too hard about that!"

Alisa had slyly evaded every question of how the costume actually worked, or why she possessed a wolf suit sized for a filly in the first place. Even being Alisa's student in magic didn't entitle Sweetie to simple explanations of anything, it seemed.

Sweetie padded past two young Diamond Wolves in funny red coveralls. They were standing up on their hind paws to reach a worn out glow crystal, and arguing about which way the new crystal was supposed to go back in the socket. Past them, the tunnel twisted left and right, coming to one of the largest caverns that she'd seen yet, some kind of marketplace... and right away she nearly bumped into an elderly male wolf with bluish-gray fur, wearing the moonstone collar of a Luna's Witness.

"Have you honored Luna today, cub?" he asked in a friendly growl. "Wolves howl to moon. Good pups know she's the best goddess for wolves!"

"No, Great and Powerful Anasi is best!" insisted a female wolf with glossy youthful golden-orange fur, pointing to some kind of shrine that depicted an especially large wolf, grinning with fangs bared and wearing a hat and cape.

Sweetie made a convincing puppy-whine without meaning to. "Um... why not both? They both seem... uh, deserving of worship, right?"

The Luna's Witness frowned, and started pawing through a tattered old book. "Huh. Luna didn't say to serve *only* Luna. Maybe it's okay."

Anasi's advocate grinned toothily. "All good! Supremely Clever and Benevolent Anasi will generously accept Luna as her subordinate."

"What's that you say!?" snarled the Luna's Witness. When they lunged and started brawling, thankfully without drawing blood, Sweetie backed away slowly.

"New pup smells like Alisa," said a female voice behind Sweetie, startling her. "You think she played a trick on them?"

Sweetie turned around and gasped. No fewer than five wolf pups the same age as her were gathered together, watching her closely, their tails flicking with curiosity.

A black and grey-furred pup, the biggest of the group, padded forward, giving her a sniff, then squinting at her thoughtfully. "Maybe, Elena!" He grinned broadly. "She'd better not play sneaky tricks on us, though!" He mentioned to one side. "I'm Pavel! We need another for our game. You, new pup, come play with us!" He drew himself up taller, looking at her expectantly.

Sweetie stared at him, confused, until she remembered what Alisa had said. Follow the leader! Everything was follow the leader with Diamond Wolves, so maybe Pavel was the leader of this... puppy pack? She held back a giggle and curtsied like Rarity had taught her. "Okay! I'm Sweetie."

"Svity?" spoke Pavel, puzzled by the foreign name. The pup shrugged it off. "Heh, whatever. Come!"

Pavel dashed away, and the others loped after him, with Sweetie scrambling to catch up. The pups ran a few extra laps through the marketplace, just for the joy of running apparently, and nearly tripping a lot of the grownup wolves as a bonus. He lead the way to a gap between two vendor's stalls, like a secret cub-sized den, and they all crowded inside, tails all wagging at their mutual cleverness.

"So, what game are we playing?" asked Sweetie, a little winded by the run.

Elena nudged Sweetie, grinning hugely. "Is really fun game!" she growled, putting a surprisingly familiar game box on their makeshift table, then nosing it towards the rest of them. "We play Ponies and Princesses."

Sweetie gaped at them until she found herself wondering if wolves could see her flat pony teeth. She closed her mouth quickly. "R- Really?"

Pavel laughed. "Surprised we have cool game like this, huh?" He laid out character sheets and pawed one towards Sweetie. "You play Rarity pony, who acts like she only cares about jewelry and looking nice, but supports pack like a good wolf when there's danger!"

Sweetie felt her wolf ears droop. "I... Hehe... I guess I can do that!" To herself, she mumbled, "I guess I'll have something to write a friendship letter about after all."

"My turn next!" declared Elena. "Bridge is out, but character sheet says Rainbow Dash is a super flying pony, so she flies over the broken bridge, with her wings!"

Pavel chuckled darkly. "Rainbow is on other side alone! Roll dice to see if she falls for sneaky tricks!"

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (update already)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 49.0 Alex Warlorn
Session 49.1 Kendell2
Session 49.2 Mtangalion
Session 49.3 General Lemarc
Session 49.4 Kendell2
Session 49.5 General Lemarc
Session 49.6 Quartzscale
Session 49.7 Alex Warlorn
Session 49.8 Kendell2
Session 49.9 Mtangalion
Session 49.10 Quartzscale
Session 49.11 SomeRandomMinion
Session 49.12 BrutalityInc
Session 49.13 Kendell2
Session 49.14 Ardashir
Session 49.15 Quartzscale
Session 49.16 Mtangalion
Session 49.17 Kendell2
Session 49.18 Kendell2
Session 49.19 Alex Warlorn
Session 49.20 Mtangalion

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Cover art by Jowybean http://jowybean.deviantart.com/art/Squid-Army-incoming-631940953

Session 50

Session 50.0 Richforce

(Based on Hello Neighbor)

8-Bit was getting used to his games getting some ponies angry, but his wife being one was somehow worse.

"This was not in any way intentional," 8-Bit said trying to blend into the couch.

"I don’t care," said Maternity Love Tap. "Button convinced Sweetie Belle to break into Mr. Doodle’s home and give him a concussion!"

"That was an accident!" said Button Mash. "He creeped up on her so she levitated the lawn ornament one thing led to another..."

"And I said the Belle’s and I don’t care."

"Start from the beginning," said 8-Bit. I didn’t get all the details.

Maternity took a deep breath. "Button broke his leg after Scootaloo thought he might get his cutie mark in the Luge, she and Rainbow Dash already talked long and hard about it. Anyway, while he was recovering he tried out that alpha build you made that everypony’s talking about."

"You mean 'There Goes the Neighborhood'. I’ve never seen so many ponies make theories and speculations on just an engine demo."

"A game about breaking into somepony’s home to find out if they are a serial killer or a kidnapper keeping somepony in his basement is not quite something I’d have him play if I knew what you were making."

"I thought it would be a friendlier take on horror, instead of the grotesque and jump scares it’s about trying to be stealthy and the fear of being caught, that way you don’t need to make it gory. But Button knows the difference between fantasy and reality."

"But it did get the wheels in his head turning after he noticed nopony in town has seen Matilda in a few days, so he called up Sweetie after he saw Mr. Doodle bury something in their backyard. And since he was stuck in bed he called up Sweetie and asked her to see what he buried."

"And that was?" 8-Bit said sighing.

"Cranky and Matilda’s sunset fund. Matilda herself was paying an extended visit to her nephew at Applelossa. She’s with Cranky right now at the hospital, thanks to you and our son."

"I already said I was sorry!"

"Tell that to Mr. Doodle, and you are not playing 'There Goes the Neighborhood' until your father finishes it and I look at the game and I find NOTHING objectionable."

Button sighed. "Yes Mom."

"And as for you honey," Maternity said turning to her husband. "I want to look at your development notes, closely. This whole incident reminds me of that Hitchtrot film Back Window."

"Funny," said 8-Bit. "That was one my inspirations for this game, talk about life imitating art."

"You can talk about it to Cranky, but I doubt he’ll find it as funny."

+++

Back in Ponyvillie general Cranky had the back of his head wrapped in bandages. Matilda gave him a worried look and he sighed heavily. "Alright, I'll go ahead and open the savings account, I remember when how you saved your money was your own business."

Session 50.1 General Lemarc

Short drabble that might not be good/complete enough(if its somehow the latter but not the former, feel free to add on), but here goes(SPOILER WARNING: Xenoblade Chronicles.

===

Bright Shinji would kill the gods. It was his destiny. Sure, destiny was evil and wrong and made by the gods to control mortals (and it also didn't exist and was a lie used to control mortals), but he made his OWN destiny. Unfortunately for him, they had realized the threat he posed to their dominion, and banded together against him through their adventurers. But just as he was unmasked (literally, his illusion spells had been removed) and defeated at the same time by Lucrissia's chosen warrior Smart Cookie and her PhZ 2000 Party Howitzer, he heard a voice that somehow wasn't there, despite it clearly existing.

~~"Not yet. You'll be most useful."~~

"Who are you?" Bright demanded, with as much haughtiness as he could muster.

~~"The firstborn of the gods, who rose to fight them."~~

Several decades later...

Anlancia killed gods. It was her job. Sure the organization that made that job, the reason for doing it, and even her demonic employer were all gone, but that's no mistake to slack off. Besides; it was fun! Or at least, it was until they got the bright idea of working together against her. Lucia had even gone so far as to use incredibly precious resources that allowed her to directly manifest herself to INSULT HER OUTFIT before she fell to the champions' combined assault. But as her vision went black...

~~"Well hello there. You're even better than the last one."~~

"And you are...?" Anlancia demanded, refusing to let her imminent death affect her attitude.

"Don't bother, he'll just give some kind of pretentious, grandiose speech," said some sort of schoolboy near her.

"Why is it always children?" Anlancia asked. "Well, if this is my hell, at least I have my guns," She drew one and made to fire at Bright, being able to sense the impossibly large amounts of hypocrisy from him despite not knowing him, but was stopped by...something.

~~"Save your energy. The both of you will have much better things to kill soon enough."~~

The nameless girl hated the gods. She hated them so much that, should a psychic empath try to read her emotions, they would suffer physical damage from her boundless hate. Now, armed with her magic, suitably-ironically named Spear of Destiny, she was-shot 37 times in the chest, impaled by a ridiculously large pen, and crushed by some unseen eldritch force.

"Not that I mind a good old-fashioned witch fight," Anlancia. said "But why exactly did we need to kill her?"

~~"Unneeded competition,"~~ said the voice, but despite his usual air of mysterious confidence, if he had had hands, they would have been checking to make sure he hadn't been touched by her spear.

Meanwhile, in the girls' campaign.

"Huh" Spike muttered, "I thought there were 5 potential villains. Eh. Must be my imagination."

"The gods took everything from me. So I shall take everything from them!" Yelled Bellerophon, as he charged the champions of Twilight and Co.'s deities!

"I use divine intervention, and manifest myself directly in-between him and the heroes," Fluttershy said.

"Wait! It is true that the gods you hate took your family, but we are not them, and neither are our champions. In fact, they have families too; would you not be what you hate if you continued down this path?"

"Is she really doing this?" muttered Twilight, but was shushed by Rainbow Dash of all ponies.

"I wanna see if she can actually talk down a deicidal maniac. That would be pretty awesome."

"Well, I-" " will be sitting this one out ." proclaimed a voice that belonged to no-one around the table.

"Pinkie, we could use your party cannon again," Twilight said, while preparing to fight whatever malevolent entity had decided to attack Ponyville this week.

~~" Foolish horses. I am nowhere you can find. For I am in this game you play, though it is now far more thanks to me. Unfortunately, while you can't harm me in this state, neither can I harm you. However..."~~

The figurines of the Neighponese student and the scantily-clad witch levitated themselves onto the table, with matching character sheets that seemed somewhat overpowered, along with a sheet for another deity.

~~" Once I defeat your gods and champions, I shall be free to rule your world as is my right. And none shall stop me this time. All shall know the name."~~ at this point the voice became much clearer, though this didn't serve to make it any less malicious "OF ZANZA!!!!!"

"... Who?" asked Applejack.

"Zanza! You know, the god of Bionis! I survived my own extinction once, and I did it again. And now i shall rule this new universe, made from the ashes of my old-"

"Wait, how would this universe be made from your old one?" Twilight asked, though keeping her horn pointed at evil character sheets(ridiculous though it looked and sounded).

"Well there is but one universe-"

"Making a lot of assumptions there," said Pinkie Pie, who somehow still had the card from Ponythulu's law firm.

"You know what?! It doesn't matter! I and my champions shall kill your heroes, then you, and then every last god in the universe!"

"Waitwaitwait," interjected Rainbow "Didn't you just say you're a god? Shouldn't you be trying to usurp the gods instead of just kill them?"

"Silly Rainbow. I have to keep up appearances for my unwitting slav-I mean my brave champions! Besides, if you can't beat them (his thoughts traveled back to a blond-haired human with a sword) join them."

TO BE CONTINUED

(OOC:I'm kinda making this a "game is actually real" kinda thing, so that the first campaign the girls run isn't the first time their deities have done this sort of thing. And I;m trying to make this able to be enjoyed by people who haven't yet seen the glory of xenoblade. If there's something that non-fans don't get outside of a reference or quick joke, please let me know.)

Session 50.2 Quartzscale

An indeterminate time from now...

"Rock!"

"Paper!"

"Scissors!"

Sombra and Hope finished their game and unfortunately for the CrystalSoft CEO he lost the match. Groaning in defeat he kissed his wife and got ready for the most important meeting of his life. A somber smile appeared on her face knowing that this was for the best and she didn’t want to appear before Rabia after the last time they were in the same room. Ira barely managed to remain civil with her due more to the fact that her ideas made money for the company. Use made her worth it in Ira’s own words.

"Ira come along. We need to go see mother…" Sombra uttered to his younger sister and led the way towards the car. Ira merely smiled angelically though for some reason the butterflies which usually followed her burst into fire every time she walked down the hallway. Both Discord and Chrysalis had covered themselves in a cubicle alongside almost every single workers in their company. Tension exuded off them scaring every single employee.
The car ride had been uneventful and Ira remained smiling and innocent looking like she always was. Sombra, in the meantime, was feeling a weight keep him down. The game he lost had been a very important matter and left him slightly anxious to get this over with.

"Dear brother, we have arrived." Ira’s sickeningly sweet voice bringing Sombra back to his senses.

Sombra exited the car and saw exactly why he wanted to do anything else rather than see his mother. Unfortunately for him his family had decided to visit that same day as well.

Aunt Luxuria worked as a fashion model, vain and always looking at beauty she made sure to make herself desirable to the masses while keeping them at arm’s length. Her eyes also looked very cold whenever she saw Sombra. Unlike the others she knew exactly what he did and there was no loss love between the two.

Uncle Gula was built like a bodybuilder yet whenever they were alone he would always be eating something usually refried or greasy. He enjoyed seeing Rabia get taken down after their own childhood got so messy. Sombra usually found himself tolerating his time with his uncle. They were at least civil with each other.

His four cousins had also come with them. Two for Luxuria and two for Gula yet their spouses didn’t show up with them. Superbia and Avaritia belonged to Luxuria. Superbia ran a fitness center that she built from the ground up managing to make herself the pinnacle of success with that venture within a few months. Avaritia was a NEET but managed a job as a stockbroker working within decent terms for many companies. Sombra used her service more than once to get the right funding for his ventures. He managed to get along with Avaritia but Superbia was always hounding him to get into shape a lot of the time. Both were still terrified by Rabia and only came due to their parent.

Accedia and Invidia belonged to Gula. Accedia was a racer. She managed to make it as a speed demon in the professional circuit which gave Ira plenty frames of reference for her style of racing games. Realistic wounds when they crashed made it better for them. Invidia was a tiny girl but looked up to Sombra for reasons he would never know. She was still in school working to get into CrystalSoft and Hope was looking forward to her entry when she got her degree.

In weird terms Luxuria, Superbia, and Accedia were very big proponents and supporters of Ira and her ventures making sure to supply her with material for her game designs and funds should she need it. Gula, Avaritia and Invidia supported Sombra on his ventures. This made the family reunions ticking time bombs of uncertainty.

"So to what do I owe the pleasure of an impromptu family reunion for a simple visit with mother." Sombra spoke aloud gathering the attention of his immediate family while Ira merely ignored him.

"It was a coincidence nothing more." Luxuria sneered.

"Of course it was." Sombra muttered while a few of the others lightly chuckled. Luckily enough it was visiting hours and since Tirek had pulled some strings the entire family got the chance to meet with Rabia in a private meeting even though she was considered one of the most dangerous criminals to ever be brought into the prison.

"Well I need to ask sis about something important. Gotta see if she’ll agree." Gula admitted aloud.

"Again!?" Luxuria cried out.

"Of course again. I’m gonna keep asking regardless if she wants to hear or not. Besides I’m at least visiting her every other day willingly. Isn’t that right nephew?" Gula elbowed Sombra lightly though he felt as though he would be bruised later.

"Hacking attempt on the company made it hard to leave everything to my staff. Made sure they were doing their job." Sombra lied to the best of his ability. He really didn’t want to meet with Rabia after already getting out of her clutches. With Gula and Avaritia he would be fine. They were on his side and Invidia would support his side. Ira, ironically, would support him even though he put their mother in prison if only because she managed to get her own division and shell company because Rabia was gone.

"I thought that was taken care of months ago." Ira smiled slyly.

"I remember that. I think a friend of mine was talking about that. Her name is Gabby." Invidia chirped up. Her eyes seemed to glow green with envy.

"That put you back a bit didn’t it cousin?" Avaritia slurred seemingly finally waking up from her daydreams.

"I would have finished up a long time ago." Accedia rolled her eyes while Superbia laughed aloud at her.

"Not as good as me that’s for sure." Superbia muttered earning slight ire from Accedia.

"Quiet all of you." Rabia spoke as she sat in her chair. Her darkened eyes bore into each of them forcing them to sit before her in the room set aside for their meeting. Even Ira was cowed from her usually confident smile. Then her eyes focused on Sombra…

Session 50.3 Quartzscale

"Son. I see you finally have found the time to visit me. I hope you found a decent woman in your life already. That Hope girl was never good enough for you." Rabia genuinely smiled. It was not one of sadistic pleasure or denial. She was genuinely happy to speak aloud to Sombra about her disdain about the girl.

"Sister about the thing-" Gula started.

"SHUT YOUR #&@$ING MOUTH GULA!" Rabia roared out. The guards outside the door were ready to charge in only for Sombra to hold up his hand to stop them. He knew this needed to be done. Gula instantly cringed and folded in on himself. Luxuria would have laughed if she even had the courage to do so. Rabia was the matriarch of the family at this point and she was the one who had final say in the circumstances of their life, for the most part.

"I married Hope." Sombra stated bluntly and with a tone of finality.

"You still haven’t found someone. Don’t worry son you’re very interesting and you’ll find someone soon." Rabia didn’t miss a beat and ignored Sombra. The others winced at this because unlike them she would immediately yell at them for talking back.

"Mother I already found Hope. We are married and that’s the end of that." Sombra bluntly stated once again. Rabia’s eyes twitched and she glared vehemently at Sombra. He didn’t shrink away or look scared which made Rabia even angrier.

"That little tart wasn’t good enough for you you worthless excuse of a man. What the hell is wrong with you!?" Rabia cried out though the other participants of the room didn’t say anything. Each had the same thought regardless of whether they liked Sombra or not. ‘Better him than me.’

"I just decided to stop taking your crap." Sombra smashed his fists against the table and glared right back. The others were sweating bullets at this point.

"Oh I get it son. She’s making you money so she’s worth keeping around. Got it. I understand now," Rabia smiled. The cruel thoughts actually returned the smile to its genuine.shine. "When she’s done making you money then the marriage will end. Good job."

Sombra was still glaring at that woman. He refused to call her his mother. It would take something big to shock her into shutting her damn mouth and now none of the family even wanted to look either of them in the eye. Sighing quickly he steeled himself for the last thing he would willingly talk to his mother about. The others were about to speak when Sombra slammed his fists against the table again.

"She’s pregnant. First kid in a few months." Sombra spoke loudly and clearly. Everybody in the room shut their mouths when they noticed something had changed in Rabia. Her eyes focused solely on Sombra and instead of her usual fondness for the boy they were contorted with rage. Luxuria quickly dragged Superbia under the table while she did the same to Accedia. Gula pulled Avaritia away from the table who pulled Invidia as well. Ira was luckily behind Sombra when Rabia immediately tossed the table over Luxuria’s groups’ heads against the wall and jumped at Sombra knocking him to the floor. Sombra managed to grab her arms while the two struggled over the circumstances. Through sheer luck Sombra managed to pin Rabia down when the guards finally made their way in.

"Let me speak with her!" Sombra announced loudly enough for the guards to stop. One still kept his hand on the taser they brought specifically for use on Rabia.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU. YOU’RE TAINTING THE FAMILY LEGACY WITH THAT DAMN HARLOT!" Rabia screamed at the top of her lungs. Sombra answered in kind.

"YOU EITHER ACCEPT THIS OR I’LL MAKE SURE THAT THAT CHILD NEVER LEARNS ABOUT YOU EVER!"

"IT’S MY FAMILY AND I’LL DO AS I WELL PLEASE!"

"SINCE I’M RUNNING CRYSTALSOFT IT’S MY FAMILY AND I WILL DICTATE HOW THIS FAMILY GOES. EITHER ACCEPT IT OR YOU’RE OUT OF MY LIFE FOREVER!"

Neither side wanted to back down and the rest of the family didn’t want to move any closer. The rage in both their eyes kept growing until Rabia finally grit her teeth in frustration.

"She-argh- she- rrgh… FINE! Welcome her to the family. You better lead this family well Sombra, otherwise, it’s going to be all your fault when this family dies." Rabia finally stopped struggling allowing the two to get back up. Sombra attempted to help his mother up only for her to swat his arm away and get back on her feet on her own.

Ira was a bit shocked at the scene before her. She always saw her brother as a pushover. Superbia and Accedia were the same yet this changed quite a few things. Luxuria was a bit more subtle about what transpired though part of her felt a bit of respect for her nephew.
Invidia was not so subtle and immediately hugged Sombra while Gula and Avaritia patted his back. Rabia rolled her eyes at the gestures while the guards got ready to escort her back to her cell.

"It was a… pleasure seeing you all. Sombra is head of the family now," Rabia breathed out reluctantly and full of bile in every word she spoke. "I better see great grandchildren Sombra. I will not be denied them."

"As long as you behave then it’s fine if they know you. I’ll see you later mother." Sombra stated cooly never turning to look at her.

Needless to say Sombra went back to Hope head raised high then promptly passed out from the sheer fear he felt while dealing with Rabia. The future looked bright even with the dark cloud they passed on the horizon.

(Notes, Since we are adding some fun parts here. All the siblings are based on the seven deadly sins in a sense. Ira luckily was Wrath even though her name was just a coincidence. Gula is Gluttony, Luxuria is Lust, Accedia is Sloth, Invidia is Envy, Avaritia is Greed, Superbia is Pride. Sombra is probably short for somber and ironically enough he was hopeless in a sense which made him perfect as the embodiment of the eighth deadly sin which is void. Basically the absence of hope. Then Hope came into his life and brightened it up.)

Session 50.4 Mtangalion

In the dimly lit, colorful world of Ponyville’s video arcade, two colts were facing off at the Prance Prance Revolution machine.

Tender Taps grinned. "You sure you’re ready for this?"

Button Mash grinned right back at him, adjusting his propeller beanie. "I’ve been practicing like crazy. Don’t go easy on me!"

Tender Taps slipped two tokens into the machine, hoofed the start button with authority, and held down the select button, producing a jumble of quickly interrupted song clips. "In that case, the challenge will be Trax 300. On *heavy* mode."

Button paled, gulping. "S- sure! I can do that."

The two colts stepped onto the side-by-side eight-button dance pads. "And no holding onto the hoof-rail!" said Tender.

The fast-paced, pounding beat started playing. "Are you ready!?" shouted a stallion’s voice from the machine.

And then the jumbled blizzard of direction arrows starting zipping up the screen. Button and Tender launched into a flurry of button-stamping, perfectly in sync! TAP-TAP-TA-TAP, TA-TAP-TAP-TA-TAP, TA-TAP-TAP-TA-TAP, TA-TAP-TAP-TAP!

Other colts and fillies around the arcade quickly began to take notice. Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara stared… Silver’s glasses nearly slid right off her muzzle. "Is that... Button Mash?" asked Diamond. "Did you know he could move like that?"

Button and Tender kept trotting through the song, in patterns that grew more intricate and punishing. They hit the intermission gasping for air, but still utterly focused. "U-U-Unbelievable!" shouted the machine.

The break lasted a precious few seconds, and then they were off to the races again, pounding the dance pads even faster. Another flurry of quick steps, several bars of frantic scrambling… the infamous triple tap finale when they were already exhausted, and boom! "Stage complete!"

As the crowd started stamping their applause, Button all but tumbled off the machine, his mane sweaty and disheveled. He’d only scored a B to Tender Taps’ AA, but he didn’t even care just now. "I did it! Hah... I finally did it!"

At the Ponyville dance studio, Button Mash bowed, began a simple waltz, and promptly tangled his hooves and fell over only three steps in.

Sweetie Belle facehoofed. "Button! When I told you to practice with Tender Taps, I meant that you should learn *real* dancing so you can take me to the Junior Grand Galloping Gala!"

"Hey, Prance Prance Revolution is not fake! It’s way too much work. You know, I think I actually put on some muscle!" Button struck a pose, then yelped and ducked a thrown ballet hoof-slipper. "Okay, okay! I’ll learn real dancing!"

Session 50.5 Kendell2

Adding this as a more calm reaction to Issue 50 because I'm ME and prefer ACTUAL Fix Fics and not rampages, and respect others like it even if I don't.

Also, SPOILERS for issue 50.

"Okay, the Elements are back..." Rainbow Dash said. "Ugh! I can't believe they bucking backfired on us!"

"There has to be a reason..." Twilight muttered. "The Elements shouldn't be JUST Order if Harmony isn't...We must have missed something..."

"Eh, let's go have our 'we saved the world party' and think about that later, okay?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"I think Pinkie Pie has the right idea, darling," Rarity said, giving a sigh. "Today has been very stressful...and also terrifying."

Discord shrugged as they started off.

"Discord..."

Discord blinked, turning back to the tree and looking at it.

The Elements glowed and the outline of a tall creature with traits of equine of deer appeared, backed by a light. other details not clear except a crown with six glowing lights in it on her head.

"Oh, my, long time no see..." the Spirit of Chaos said with chuckle. "Had fun talking to them through a map?"

"I've enjoyed seeing them do great things..." said the entity. "And enjoyed seeing you find the light again...Even if you recently lose it briefly."

Discord rubbed his head. "Yeah, about that...my bad. I regret it as much as anyone...I hurt Fluttershy...but I imagine there's another reason you chose to manifest now of all times than just to shoot the breeze. Am I right?"

"Yes, Discord," the Tree of Harmony herself said. "Given recent events, I feel those six, while having growing much...are far too orderly...as they told your other half: Harmony is not simply Order. It's Order AND Chaos...I believe there is need for some lessons about Harmony's more chaotic side if we are to avoid a similar situation in the future."

Discord gave a laugh. "HAHA! My, I never thought I'd see the day!"

"Well, I would do it myself, but I'm still stuck inside the Tree healing from having your Plunder Vines trying to eat me for several thousand years. Hence 'talking to them through a map'."

"...Point taken...Hmm..."

"Don't think about it.

"Discord shrugged. He was neither as evil as he once was nor foolish. There was a reason the Elements could easily defeat him. "So what do I do?"

"I'll leave that to you...but nothing cruel. I never want them hurt in any way. Perhaps one of those games you play with them?"

"You know about those?" the Draconequus asked.

"You typically play them on the Cutie Map, so yes I do."

"Point taken...this sounds like it will be fun..."

Session 50.6 General Lemarc

(Going with the SAO/Log Horizon style "sucked into the game but it still works like a game except you're in it instead of at a table" bit. Will do my best to keep it game-focused instead of just another ultimate showdown)

"All right, let's roll for initiative!" Declared Spike, happy that he'd be fighting on the same level as the girls for once.

"Oh no no no. I will not play your silly game!" Yelled Zanza, his echoing voice losing most of its intimidating factor due to it origination from a piece of paper that appeared to be trying (and failing) to look evil.

"But you just said you had to." Said Twilight.

"No, I said I had to kill your gods and champions. I never said anything about doing it with a game." The room flashed bright white, and when the girls and Spike opened their eyes, they were in what looked to be the astral plane, in the bodies of their various deities.

Having become somewhat used to fighting long-forgotten evil creatures, they readied themselves for a fight...and became immediately disoriented when they discovered that they were also controlling their PC heroes as well.

"Now, had I interrupted your pitiful horse gods' game, this might have been a challenge, since actual gods know how to split their consciousness. But you mortals know nothing! You'll go mad from the duality! You'll-"

"Everypony, erm everydeity!" Yelled Twilight. "Your PCs have part of your consciousness, but don't have to be micromanaged. You just need to give them general instructions, and they'll handle the specifics. They can hear you if you concentrate your thoughts or words at them, and they'll contact you, through prayer in this case, if they need help. These ones aren't fully aware of what's going on, but they'll assume that your instructions are divine, which they are. Just don't think too hard about it and it'll come naturally."

"Got it!" Came a (literal) heavenly chorus.

"But-how-why-"

Twilight, or rather Minerva, gave the shapeless mass of shadows a condescending smirk. "Not only am I already a deity, I was tutored by one for most of my life, and had access to her personal library. I know more about how deities work in this universe than you do!"

"Well then. Let's see if you can apply that knowledge, o Goddess of Bookworms!" With that, Zanza's shape morphed into a massive bipedal stone titan wielding a blade nearly its own size. As if chained to his actions(which they mostly were) Bright and Anlancia drew their weapons and charged the PCs.

Rainbow, as Accelerator, began darting at Zanza's eyes, wrists, feet, and anywhere else that looked like it was a weak spot. Realizing that his divine stone wouldn't be penetrated so easily, she began to cast one of her offensive feats. Though she obviously was worried about reality being enslaved and all, she was pumped to finally be using her divine attacks, as Spike hadn't been kidding about needing to be careful about intervening too much, and, given the natures of her friends(minus Gilda) there had been far more inspiring, proclaiming, and negotiating than actual fighting, at least with their gods. She, on the other hand, knew something like this would happen all along, so her loading up on combat abilities hadn't been a waste at all!(that was her story, and she was sticking to it). However, she'd run into a problem...

"Twi? I mean, Minerva? How do I actually cast a spell?"

"Focus through your horn and-oh, draconequus. Um, just concentrate on it. Do whatever comes naturally!"

"Ok!" Accelerator clenched her fists and let out a yell. "Extremespeed bodyslam!" She launched herself at Zanza's eye at mach 5, timing her acceleration so that her Divine Sonic Rainboom(which she had had added to the game after only 10 minutes of begging, pleading, and promising favors) occurred just as she collided. In her mind's eye, she saw the hit points on Zanza's character sheet decrease-by 1. "Aw c'mon!"

"Fool! For years I have studied your games, and demonic final bosses always have ridiculous stats!"

"Then we'll make our attacks even ridiculouser!"

Minerva winced, throwing her horn-beam attack off target, as if that statement had caused her physical pain. Given her status as Goddess of Knowledge, it very well might have

Meanwhile, in the mortal realm...

"Tulip! Keep me alive! I'm going in!!!" Goldina the griffin, follower of Accelerator, the god who was 20% cooler than all the others, charged the two godslayers, gauntlet-clad talons spinning. For her part, Tulip prayed fervently to Demeteria that Goldina would stop doing that, this being her fifth attempt, the other four having failed.

"They have to know that they're going to destroy themselves along with everything else!" Shouted Smart Cookie, using her paladin's blade to parry the needlessly-large pen wielded by the pony in the Neighponese school uniform. "Maybe we can convince them to fight Zanza. There has to be some sanity left in-" Her opponent cut her off.

"ALL HAIL ZANZA, THE GOD OF THIS GODLESS WORLD! I AM THE NEW GOD, FOR I CONTROL DEATH! I AM DIFFERENT FROM ALL OTHERS WHO KILLED AS I DO, FOR I AM RIGHT!"

"Never mind!"

"Wish I could help, love, really I do" Said Anlancia, while firing the guns on each of her hooves toward Sweet Song in an attempt to stop her musical buffs. "But its my job."

Tulip's deer biology allowed her to hear the sincerity in Anlancia's voice, and she instinctively began to pray, not to Demeteria, but to Aceso. Though she didn't follow her, she knew of her virtue, and it seemed right somehow that she be the one to receive this information...

"Girls!" Aceso said in a moderately raised voice, but was heard anyway thanks to a telepathy link cast by Minerva, who had anticipated such an occurance. "One of the godslayers might be able to be reasoned with! They were designed to kill gods, and Zanza's only made them stronger. If we can convince one to join us, we might be able to end this now!"

"Why would we need that?!" Asked Bellaria, who had increased her size and was now grabbing Zanza's blade by the hilt with both claws. "This is so bucking awesome! I-I mean we've got this under control!"

"Um, Bellaria, have you looked at his health at all?" asked Accelerator, who had given up on dealing any serious damage, and was now trying to distract Zanza in order to help Bellaria.

"No, but I-WHAT THE BUCK!? I HIT HIM WITH ALL MY BEST ATTACKS! HE'S STILL GOT 90 PERCENT LEFT!?!"

"I am solid stone brimming with the ether of an entire world! Nothing can destroy me!Nothi-" Zanza's mental tirade was mercifully cut off by a psychic dampening spell from Minerva.

Indominus left Lucia's side for the first time since the start of the battle. "Aceso! Manifest yourself into the mortal plain and do whatever you need to! We'll cover you!"

"Indeed we shall darling!"

"Oh yes, DARling! And we'll also yell out our plans so that Zanza can hear them!" Zanza broke Minerva's spell, wrenched his sword out of Bellaria's grasp and swung it at Aceso.

But before he could bring the sword down on the now seemingly-comatose alicorn, Aequitas broke off her attack and snapped her fingers, shouting "Mortal Physics!"

Zanza's blade instantly became much heavier, and fell to the ground, or what was treated as the ground in the astral plane. "Insolent mortal! What did you do!"

"Technically, I'm a god like you now. And its one of my skills from the Deconstruction skill tree, which you'd know if you'd bothered to do anything except fume and figure out new ways to say how great you are during all those years you spent in the game...and how'd you even do that when it just came out!"

"Its a pocket world! Nearly every supposedly fictitious universe exists in one. Where do you think your Doctor gets all those cheap toys of his shed from? Also, WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BLADE?!!"

Minerva levitated herself at Zanza's eye level, unable to resist a chance to lecture. "I thought you'd studied our games for years. But if you need to learn, I'm more than happy to oblige. There are five skill trees in Age of Gods. One is the main tree, which contains the basic skills, while the other four are specialized. The Warhorse tree specializes in direct combat, heavenly destruction, and contains most of the evil skills. Its what you've been seeing from Accelerator and Bellaria. The Deconstruction tree specializes in applying real-life logic to the game, and is used to negate very powerful foes, like you. The Benevolence tree makes it easier for gods to communicate with and help their followers, and is what Aceso is using to un-brainwash your godslayers. And the Guru tree-"

"Gives you the ability to use your powers to mess with people! Like this!"

Ludicrissia materialized next to Minerva, manifested dozens of party cannons arranged in a way resembling a pipe organ on its side, and pressed an overly large red button, causing debuff-flavored cake batter(recipe on loan from Bellaria) and joy-inducing confetti to fire to the tune of one of her hymns directly into Zanza's eyes.

"WHAT KIND OF GAME IS THIS!?"

Minerva couldn't help but chuckle at the opening given to her. "One designed in part by the Princess of cake and pranks. And while the Guru tree isn't always that ridiculous, it does specialize in the lighter and softer side of offense."

Meanwhile, the rest of the deities formed a loose barrier between Zanza and Aceso's body, hoping they could hold out long enough for her to relieve their heroes...

TO BE CONCLUDED.

Session 50.7 Kendell2

"...Thanks for coming this time, mom," said Rainbow Dash, sitting at the castle after her 'birthaversary' party (once more thrown by Pinkie and Cheese Sandwich).

Rainbow Dash Sr. smiled. "No problem, darling. Thought this party was quite more than I was expecting."

"Yeah, that's what happens when you have two of Equestria's greatest party ponies doing the party planning," Rainbow Dash Jr. replied, giving a chuckle. "Though this time I got to be PART of the air show."

"I know, darling...Hehe...you know, one of my clients' kids has become a huge fan of you," the elder Rainbow Dash replied, giving a smile. "His mother brought him in for the first time and he heard my name and he said 'Hey you have the same name as Rainbow Dash!' And I said 'Is that so? You like her?' And he said 'Rainbow Dash is the greatest!"

Rainbow Dash Jr. blinked. "Really? A kid said that?"

Sr. nodded. "Yes, he did darling...and I told his mother why I'm so happy we share a name."

"And why's that?"

Rainbow's mother gave a loving smile. "Us sharing a name reminds ponies of what an amazing mare I get to have for a daughter."

Rainbow Dash Jr. actually blushed. "...Hehe...And...I guess it reminds ponies I have a pretty cool mom too...Rarity told me how you're pretty big in the fashion world...I never knew that before."

"Thanks darling...Now, how about we play a game?" the older Rainbow Dash replied and produced "King of Manehatten" from her bags. Rainbow had no idea how her mother carried around so much stuff at once.

"King of Manehatten?" Rainbow Dash Jr. asked. "No offense, mom, but didn't know you PLAYED that game."

"Oh I don't, darling. But I thought you'd like it...besides, I feel I owe you trying something YOU like after having you model dresses for me so many times when you were younger...though in my defense I thought you liked it."

Rainbow blushed a little. "Yeah...but yeah, let's play! This game rocks!"

"Alright...now which one of these figures is mine, darling?"

Rainbow Dash Jr. rolled her eyes and got to helping her mother understand the game.

OOC: Happy birthday Rainbow Dash!

Session 50.8 Alex Warlorn

SPOILERS MLP IDW #50

With Starlight Glimmer having convinced Accord that he couldn't deny that all he had were empty vessels were now extensions of himself, and his world was empty, and he still had Discord's desire for friends Fluttershy had instilled in him to make the monster grow a consicence ... Equestria had now been twice saved by the mare who's meddling with time had almost doomed it.

"So uh... can we write?" Lemon Zest asked Discord.

"I wouldn't object to it my dear."

"The worst part is that I'm not sure Principle Cinch would have rejected all that." Sunny Flare said.

"Excuse me." Sugarcoat said tapping Starlight Glimmer on the shoulder. "While thank you for saving us, I am surprised that you were able to convince Accord with such faulty logic."

"... Look, Twilight told me about how your school is run and-"

"This is has nothing to do with Crystal Prep's Darwinistic policies. Diversity is all well and good, but without common ground, people and people's and cultures wouldn't be able to understand each other. I take for example, Vinyl Scratch and Octavia Melody."

"How do you know about-"

"Crystal Prep wanted their hands on our Octavia for years. The point is that on the surface, you'd say they're as different as different can be yes?"

"... Yes, and that their friendship is so strong just proves what I said."

"No, it doesn't. They do share common ground: their love of music, just different kinds of music. Without their common ground, they wouldn't have been able to OVERCOME their differences. Without a frame of reference, peoples and culture might as well not be speaking the same language."

"I thought your school didn't believe in friendship."

"My friends and I, and others who went to Canterlot High, are considered 'the infected', we haven't been thrown out only because we also happen to be Crystal Prep's best students now with Twilight Sparkle has jumped ship."

"Oh."

"Want to join our online guild?"

Session 50.9 Kendell2

Continuing Discord's meeting with Harmony...

"Huh?" Twilight asked, looking around as the group again found themselves in the Interdimensional Game Room (Discord's, not the one at the castle). "We're here again?"

"You know, you'd think we'd use this more often," Pinkie Pie pointed out.

"Well I would, but I think the writers forget it exists," Discord replied, standing nearby.

Twilight sighed. "What is it now, Discord?"

"Well, I could just tell you, but I thought I'd SHOW you, Princess," the Spirit of Chaos said, pointing over...to a now familiar looking Discord wearing a suit and monocle.

"ACCORD?!" they all asked in shock.

"DISCORD?!"

The group blinked, looking over...and seeing another set of Mane Six and Starlight. The other Applejack was an Orangejack (Applejack hadn't really gotten to meet the other one that much due to having been fighting her mirror self most of it). The other Pinkie looked like she had more in common with Limestone, but had a distinct aura of bravery to her. The other Rainbow Dash looked a bit like a delinquent similar to Gilda. The other Rarity still had a distinct style but was clearly a bit more of a tomboy with a punk theme to her designs. The other Twilight, most shockingly, was a DRACONEQUUS, and looked a bit more like she had ADHD than OCD, but certainly wasn't EVIL or MALICIOUS looking.

The other Fluttershy...was Fluttershy.

The other Starlight Glimmer seemed very independent looking and her mane was much more wild and untamed.

"What the-" both groups asked, walking up to each other and looking one another over.

"I believe introductions are in order," Discord said, clearing his throat. "I am Discord, Spirit of Chaos...and formerly Disharmony," he introduced to the alternate Mane Six.

"And I, dear ponies, am Accord, Spirit of Order...and formerly Despotism," Accord introduced with a polite bow.

"So...Mirror Universe thing?" asked Princess Twilight and Draconequus Twilight, looking one another over.

"Yes, but not your typical variety of mirror universe, my dears," the Spirit of Order remarked. "As you may have noted, me and my alternate self are our own mirrored personalities you recently dealt with...with the exception of being benevolent sorts."

Discord nodded. "Well you know how in O&O the alighment system has two parts? Good, Neutral, Evil and Chaotic, Neutral, Lawful?" he questioned, snapping his fingers and producing a cart showing the moralities with the mane six, Starlight, and himself sorted by Lawful to Chaotic and Good to evil.

"Some mirror universes invert it based off good and evil, or personalities, but in this case, we're mirrored along the lawful/chaotic axis," Accord explained, snapping his fingers and causing the chart to swap along the lawful and chaotic axis to show his Mane Six. "So Lawful Good, formerly Lawful Evil, Accord who recently became a Chaotic Evil Discord briefly."

"And Chaotic Good, formerly Chaotic Evil, Discord who messed up and became a Lawful Evil Accord for a day or so," Discord replied.

"Um..." said both Fluttershy's at the same time. "Why are we...kinda the same?"

"That's because you're Neutral Good, my dear, and the inversion of Neutral Good is still Neutral Good," Accord explained.

"Oh...Hi..." they said to each other. "I'm Fluttershy."

"Oh! Cool! I'm an Alicorn in your universe! This is so cool!" Draconequus Twilight said, looking over her alternate self with the same degree of curiosity Twilight was known for, but much more energy.

"And I'm a Draconequus...fascinating..." Princess Twilight replied.

Applejack and Orangejack glared at one another. "...So...Accord...I know you don't do anything without reason...what is yours for bringing me and this uncouth pony together?" Orangejack asked.

"Uncouth?! What do ya mean uncouth?!" Applejack asked, the two glaring daggers at each other now.

"Simple: both of you use your gifts from the Tree of Harmony, please," Accord replied.

"...Okay..." both Twilights said, the groups stepping back. The prime Mane Six exploded in several pillars of light before assuming their Rainbow Power Forms...

And the other set exploded in dark, but beautiful pillars of shadow in their respective colors and emerged with a paler, darker color pallet, except for their eyes and streaks of certain colors on each, which glowed their specific color. The Pegasi were crackling with Rainbow colored lightning, the Earth Ponies having rainbow colored energy vines wrapped around them, and the unicorns having a sparkling rainbow glow around them. The Draconequus Twilight had all three.

"What the..." both sides asked, staring at one another.

"Elements of Harmony and Rainbow Powers? Meet Elements of Chaos and Stormbow Powers," Discord explained.

"Eh, I call mine Ender Dash..." the alternate Rainbow explained with a smirk.

"Stormbow Powers?" asked Prime Twilight. "Elements of Chaos?"

"Rainbow Powers?" asked Draconequus Twilight. "Elements of Harmony?"

"You see, our little ponies," Accord said, pouring himself some tea. "The group of you from our universe recently had trouble with my Chaotic Self in regards to using your Elements..."

"And MY set of you had trouble with MY Lawful Evil self," Discord explained. "As you kept saying: chaos and order are BOTH part of Harmony, and BOTH sets of your powers came from the Tree...so how about e play a little game to get to know the chaotic..."

"Or more orderly..." Accord continued.

"Sides of the Elements?" both asked.

Session 50.10 Alex Warlorn

(OOC: for those wondering what Armello is. http://armello.com )

The mane six, and just the man six, were once again seated at the Cutie Mark Map, ready to use it again as a table to play games on. There was no Spike, no Trixie, no Discord, no Gilda, no thestrals, no diamond dogs, and no Starlight Glimmer. As such, Twilight Sparkle was behind the game master screen again.

-

"And King Bursting Star and Queen Glimmering Sun promises you will be handsomely rewarded for the return of Princess Starburst." Sunburst said sitting behind the table.

'Meh, could have been worse,' Discord The Ranger thought to himself, having promised NOT to use his or other's magic/alchemy or 'technology so advance that it could be mistaken for magic' to 'liven up' the game.

"How self-insert can ya get?" Spike The Knight whispered to none of the party in particular. Discord rolled his eyes.

Starlight Glimmer herself was blushing. "Uh, my Lawful Neutral cleric of balance and equality vows on her goddess that we'll rescue our, er, their princess!"

"Court Magician, Presto The Magician also vows he shall aid the party in their quest." Trixie said dramatically.

"I never said you were court magician." Sunburst said pushing up his glasses.

"No, but I did."

"... Roll on the resist disease table, to see if you catch 'unicorn magician disfunction disease', be careful not to get too close to the cleric or you might expose yourself to infection again."

"What?! Why isn't STarlight rolling?"

"She's immune."

"What isn't everypony rolling?!"

"It seems to be a disease only your magician isn't immune to, he must be from a foreign land."

"Hey! Don't decide things for my character!"

"Don't decide things for my campaign world."

Gilda The Thief sniggered. Maybe this session wouldn't be so boring after all.

+

"Okay girls, time to try out a new game, been meaning to try out this one for a while now. Now don't worry, there's no curse, no magical booby traps, it's just a game." Twilight assured them. "It's called, Maremello."

On the table was a map made of hexagons, forming a diamond shape, with a castle at its center and four gates at each corner. The hexes were towns, plains, swamps, dungeons, forests, mountains, and stone henge like structures, all randomly placed around the castle, which was composed of four tiles around a central tile.

"In the kingdom of Maremello, where animals have all come together to form their land, a mysterious dark force called the Rot had taken hold of the lion king, and he'll soon die and-"

"It's our job to see who can cure him first?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Nope." Twilight shook her head. "He's doomed." Fluttershy cringed at that. "And he's slowly going mad. And with no heirs to the throne, the race is on to see who will succeed him. The four tribes with the greatest chance of winning are the Wolves, the Rats, the Bears, and the Rabbits. There are four ways to win. First, just go up the king and put him out of his misery with a sword to the face. Second, find four spirit stone and-"

"Save him?" Fluttershy asked.

"No, banish him to... somewhere or other, it doesn't get very precise. The third is having the highest prestige when the king's disease takes him, and you automatically inherit the throne. The forth... is similar to the first, but you let your character become more infected by the rot than the king, and his power for yourself."

"That sounds ghastly," Rarity remarked.

"Those infected by the rot, get lose one health at dawn of each day, which determines how many rounds the game lasts. You gain rot through using certain spells and items, or being defeated by the Rot Beasts, which sends you back to your starting gate. If you have a higher rot score than your opponent, their rot score is added to your attack dice, or vice versa. Once you reach the level of corrupted, merely entering the spell stone ruins will kill you instantly, rather than heal you as it normally does.

"Swamps take one health, plains are neutral, forests can hide you at night, mountain take two of your three movements each day/night to pass. Dungeons randomly have treasure, money, spell stones, or an encounter with a rot beast. Towns can be claimed, and will give you money each dawn as long as they're claimed by you. You all get spell and equipment cards at the start of a turn, your stats determine how many. Having an equipment card isn't enough, you need money to actually place it on your character.

"Spirit stones randomly appear in the stone circles, so grab them when they appear. Just reach the king with four spell stones and you win.

"You gain and lose prestige by defeating or being defeated by other players, or completing quests that you each get to choose from usually three of as each quest is complete.

"But entering the castle grounds is a crime now, and automatically sets your prestige to zero.

So you need to think about what win you're after ahead of time.

Each tribe has a special ability, and each character has one on top of that, and finally you get to chose one magic ring that'll enhance one of your stats.

"Oh... and... technically, this game is for only four players at a time... sorry girls."

Fluttershy began to raise her hoof, but Pinkie Pie beat her to it. "Okay! I'll sit this one out, and I'll play the next round!" Pinkie Pie declared.

"Oh, okay Pinkie Pie." Twilight said.

Fluttershy lowered her hoof.

AJ asked. "Hey Twili'... this ain't a game of backstabbin' is it? Ah mean, remember Diplomacy?"

"I promise you girls, this is nothing like Diplomacy. While temporary partnerships and alliances are possible and there are 'truce' cards, they aren't the focus of the game. Oh, and the players with the highest prestige at dawn, gets to chose which of two insane proclamations that the king declares law for the next day/night.

"Now, these are the six sided dice. How many you get again depends on your stats. There's swords, offense, and shields, defense. There's sun and moon, which are good or a waste depending if its day or night. And the tree symbol which lets you roll extra dice, and the worm rot symbol which is a fail, unless you've been corrupted in which case the last two are reversed.

"There are also traps that'll be only passable without setting them off by getting the correct dice combination, you can sacrifice cards in your hands to select the dice result on its side to hedge your bets.

"Now, there will be Guard characters who will wander about, entering a square with them in it is a crime and you'll fight them automatically and get a bounty placed on your head that other players can claim. And they'll fight the rot beasts, that are these giant raven creatures here, who appear out of the dungeons."

AJ's eyes were almost spinning. "Twili'... this all here sound mighty complicated for a short little after noon game. Are ya sure can keep it all straight?" AJ remembered how a character of hers had died because she hadn't understood about 'damage reduction.'

"That's the beautiful of it. We don't have to. The cards, dice, tiles, and figurines are all enchanted to keep track of it all for us!"

"... That there's a relief," AJ said.

Rainbow Dash silently agreed (no way she'd admit she was starting to get worried at all the tiny details too).

All that was left was to select who'd play as what.

Rarity quickly chose the Wolf character. "No jokes darling."

Fluttershy asked to be the Rabbit character, "If that's okay with everypony else."

The girls knew better than to laugh at Fluttershy's choice.

Applejack chose the Bear tribe.

And Rainbow Dash ... "I'm stuck with the rat?!"

"Sorry Rainbow, should have been faster!" Pinkie Pie teased.

RD just grumbled.

Pinkie Pie meanwhile, provided sacks, as usual.

AJ figured to got with the straight forward battle victory. Rarity chose to play it safe and go for a prestige victory. Fluttershy of course with the most merciful chose and went with the spirit stones. Rainbow Dash... wanted to see what the rot victory was like, just for the fun of it.

And so the game began... the enchanted game presented above the table a beautifully animated and epic animated trailer like opening, showing the girls' characters facing dangers, racing across the country side, preparing to adventure, and all around looking heroic. It sincerely pumped up the girls for the game. The beautiful hauntingly majestic musical score didn't hurt either.

The game randomly determined that it was spring, it didn't affect gameplay, but it did add another layer of variance to the game.

One thing the girls quickly found out, was that getting across the game map was HARD, in particular with how the quest points always seemed to appear on the farthest most opposite end of the map. The damaging swamps and slowing down mountains when they only had three movements a turn to work with, and the guards who always seemed to be in JUST the right place to obstruct their path just doing their duty as the guards randomly wandered the board. Often they got killed before or just before getting to their quest point. AJ got tired of even trying and just began claiming towns and going into dungeons to get armor and equipment.

Rarity was ruthlessly hunting down other players, to lower their prestige while raising her own. And of course giving her the king's ear at the same time. Though she LOST fights too.

Fluttershy... was dogged and determined to reach any spell stone that appeared on the board, no matter how times she got killed trying to reach it.

And finally, there was Rainbow Dash, engaged in her own unorthodox strategy of going for the rot victory, which mean actively seeking out the ravens to lose to them, and using spell cards that explicitly infected their characters with rot. Once she became corrupted rather than infected however, the raven actually began RUNNING AWAY from her.

And all the time... the king's health slowly ticked down, while the same time, Twilight had forgotten to mention, but was clear from the king's stats that were there for all to see, that his corruption stat kept increase every turn! RD realized this made getting a rot victory a LOT harder than it had sounded since a lower rot score meant all your rot dice were given to the enemy instead!

But RD was too deep down her dark path to turn back now, and stayed determined.

And the king's commands got more and more insane, like ordering his guards to attack towns, place a bounty on the player with the highest prestige, and then sacrifice his guards to summon rot ravens!

Finally, with the king's health low, AJ made her go for the king, losing any prestige she had entering the castle and clearing the trap on the north castle tile in the process.

Rarity counting have that happen, and she and AJ fought.. and ended up killing each other, sending them back to the starting game. With the last spirit stone, Fluttershy started a desperate race to reach the king in time before the rot killed him.

Rainbow Dash, with no other options, entered the castle, and SOMEHOW made it past the traps and guard... her prestige of course going to zero as a result.

She just barely managed to get more rot dice than the king's staggering total... but even weakened and near death, the king was still powerful, and the two clashed and... Rainbow Dash and the king killed each other.

Rainbow Dash groaned and put her face in her hooves.

And... she, and the rest of the ponies, were stunned silent as the game declared her winner via prestige.

"HUH?!" Rainbow Dash gasped, wondering if the game had gone loopy. Pinkie Pie dropped her cupcakes.

Everypony's prestige when Rainbow Dash had fought the king... was also at zero... and the game had determined that RD still had prestige to lose when she entered the castle... she was the winnner!!!

"WHOO-HOO! I WIN! . . . So what... happens next?"

All there was, was a 'after game' stat screen, tallying up their total score and stats, and the various titles they had earned from the actions during the game, which was actually kinda cool (Fluttershy of course had Pacifist as one.)

"Hey," Rainbow Dash feeling a bit jibbed. "That's it? After all that big cool opening at the start... we don't get anything for winning? No cool closing animation? Not even a picture of me on the throne? What's up with that?"

The other girls nodded, agreeing that it did seem like a bit of a cheat.

Fluttershy felt sorry she hadn't been able to give the king a peaceful way to go. AJ and Rarity gave each other death glares.

"Maybe that just ran out of money?" Twilight Sparkle suggested. "Either way, congratulations Rainbow Dash, you single hoofedly won a prestige victory with zero prestige, I doubt anypony else will be able to boast about that."

"Say... you're right! Heh, just wait till I tell Gilda about this one!"

"So... anypony want to paly again?"

"I SHALL BE QUEEN OF MARELLO!" Rarity vowed.

"Not if Ah beat ya to it!" AJ retorted.

"Uh... maybe not," Twilight whimpered.

(OOC: To note, that 'getting a prestige victory with zero prestige' thing really did happy to me in one game of Armello! I wrote down this idea on April 18th 2016... yeah, and I wrote it in an hour or two once I finally got started. Funny how it works huh? )

Session 50.11 Kendell2

"Okay, Randolph, roll for Scootaloo," said Diamond Tiara, sitting in what looked like a bank teller's place.

Randolph nodded, rolling some giant dice. "Nine spaces, Master Scootaloo."

"Thank you, Randolph," said Diamond Tiara, showing some genuine gratitude.

Scootaloo, standing on a gigantic monopony board in Diamond Tiara's basement, nodded and moved forwards nine spaces...and landed on the 'go to jail' space. "Aww man!"

Randolph peddled over in a peddle powered 'police cart' and picked her up, driving around the board and dropping her off in the jail cell space. Which was a literal prison cell.

"Hi Dazzle..." said Scootaloo, sitting next to the black cat.

"Meow."

"Wow, Diamond," Applejack said, looking around the life sized Monopony set. "Where did all this come from?"

"I'm rich," Diamond Tiara replied with a smile. "Come back on next week and we can play life sized O&O...without the Flim Flam Brother's scamming."

"You mean LARPing?" Sweetie Belle asked. "Rarity made some outfits for some LARPers."

"No, life sized O&O," Diamond Tiara replied.

"What's the difference?" Applejack asked.

"We have giant dice, special effects, and a prop castle."

"Oh..."

"Okay, Randolph, Sweetie Belle's turn."

Session 50.12 Quartzscale

Derpy was honestly surprised at the guests today. Muffins had been made and today Rainbow Dash and Vinyl Scratch were her guests. Strangely enough she hadn’t hung out with Vinyl on an average basis because the wubs would always come up. Needless to say muffins were the main source of entertainment for the day and she was glad for the company. Strangely the Doc said he wouldn’t be coming for muffins due to unforeseen complications. That meant no more muffin button on him regardless of how handsome is made him- Derpy immediately slapped herself out of her day dreams. She didn’t want to explain the flared out wings.

"Who would like the last muffin?" Derpy chirped out.

"Me of course. As the most awesome pony in Ponyville that muffin is mine." Rainbow Dash boasted.

She was cut off by a glare from Vinyl and a magical field surrounding the muffin making it impossible for her to grab it. Before the conflict could go any farther she pressed the muffin button and the court came to life once again.

Dash felt funny as her mane instantly got a strange point to it and stood straight up. On her wrist was a golden bracelet and a red vest with green tie appeared on her barrel. Then she felt weird things going on with her already powerful pegasus eyes. She could see every subtle movement and tell from both ponies at the table when she focused on them. She could see the very cosmos themselves and felt power coursing through her eyes. She settled for sitting down otherwise the coolness would overwhelm her. In truth, the sudden power boost made her dizzy and slightly sick from seeing those details.

Vinyl went the opposite direction as her mane was slicked back and a large maroon coat appeared on her. While her glasses were off she felt confidence bursting through her core. With her magic she conjure up a hand which Dash had seen when Twilight was at Crystal Con. It then made deliberate movements to make a snapping motion while Vinyl confidently smirked at each sound.

"Please make your cases." Derpy said as she pulled the muffin away and kept it safe from magic and speed.

"Well a pony like me needs the energy to constantly function otherwise I won’t be able to perform my amazing stunts or help the Wonderbolts whenever something goes wrong. While I am awesome and a one mare wrecking machine I can’t let the team down now can I." Dash said with a hint of pride in her tone. Before Vinyl could act she focused directly on Vinyl and looked all over for some kind of tell on her. The corner of her eyes were crinkling but that wasn’t it. Her smirk wasn’t going to her eyes but that wasn’t it. Then she noticed the tell. It was the subtle way she moved her cheek as if holding back a retort.

HOLD IT!

"You can’t deny how awesome I am. Muffin if you please." Dash held out her hoof before Derpy but was stopped by something amazing and unbelievable.

OBJECTION!

"Achtung Baby! My little fraulein here is far from the truth and shouldn’t get the muffin at all. Besides the rough and tumble life of a DJ is more demanding."

TAKE THAT!

Vinyl produced four pictures of Dash sleeping on a cloud and their respective times. Then Vinyl performed an air guitar solo which produced an actual rift of awesome which cowed the prismatic pegasus into awe before settling back down.

"This little fraulein doesn’t know just how awesome I can be."

It took a few moments of trying to close their mouths when Derpy finally pressed the muffin button again.

"Vinyl you spoke!" Derpy cried out.

Instead of rejoicing in jubilation Vinyl just looked at the two ponies like they were crazy. Shrugging she took the muffin and stuffed her face. Derpy and Dash looked at each other as Derpy handed her a secret muffin she was holding.

Neither would ever prove it but Vinyl did speak. Now if only they could actually get other ponies to believe them maybe the universe would make sense of the world again.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (update already)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 50.0 Richforce
Session 50.1 General Lemarc
Session 50.2 Quartzscale
Session 50.3 Quartzscale
Session 50.4 Mtangalion

Session 50.5 Kendell2
Session 50.6 General Lemarc
Session 50.7 Kendell2
Session 50.8 Alex Warlorn
Session 50.9 Kendell2
Session 50.10 Alex Warlorn
Session 50.11 Kendell2
Session 50.12 Quartzscale

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Cover art by Madacon

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Session 51

Session 51.0 Kendell2

The Bearers of Harmony and Chaos looked at one another.

"My Element of Harmony is Magic..." said Princess Twilight. "What's your Element of Harmony?

"Magic! Oh, well kinda Dark Magic," Draconequus Twilight replied.

"Dark magic?!" Twilight asked, eyes going wide.

"...I take it that's a bigger deal for you than for me?"

Applejack and Orangejack glared at one another. "And what exactly are yah? Mine's Honesty?"

"Fantasy," replied the refined mare. "I admit, I'm willing to make things up if it helps stop the bad guys."

"...Didn't yah ever learn where lyin' gets yah?" AJ asked. "Oh right, yah stayed in Manehattan so yah missed that little tip."

"And what, exactly, is WRONG with Manehattan?" the refined mare asked, the two now literally butting heads.

"What about you?" asked Rainbow Dash to her counterpart. "I'm the Element of Loyalty?"

"Me? Free Will," the other Rainbow Dash replied, sitting on a cloud with her hooves behind her head. "Loyalty? So are you like Celestia's lap dog or something?"

Rainbow Dash glared. "I guess you don't give a darn about anypony but yourself then, huh?

"Generosity," Rarity introduced to her alternate self.

"Desire," the other Rarity replied, looking a bit more aloof. "So do you give away everything we have or something?"

"Um...I'm the Element of Empathy..." Chaos Fluttershy said.

"Oh...I'm Element of Kindness...we're not that different..." Fluttershy replied.

"Hi me!" Pinkie Pie yelled, hopping over to her alternate self. "I'm Element of Laughter? What are you?"

"You remind me of my sister Limestone," Pinkamena replied. "Courage."

Pinkie Pie gasped. "You remind me of MY sister Limestone!"

"..." the two Starlights stared awkwardly at one another, seeming able to guess what the other was like and not liking the concept.

"...So did you enslave your Our Town?" Chaos Starlight asked.

"Yes...anarchist?"

"More 'dog eat dog, everypony out for themselves'...didn't end well..."

"Neither did mine."

"Now, todays game will be," said Discord, he and Accord snapping their fingers and a game table forming. "Good old O&O!"

"The campaign will be as follows: Grogar, the Shadow King of Tambelon, has returned to try and conquer Equestria," Accord explained. "The Elements of Harmony and Chaos are scattered across the game world and must be gathered to oppose him. Simple enough."

"Who's the GM?" Twilight asked, still giving her alternate self frightened looks, who in turn looked HURT.

"Hmm...that is a good question..." Accord said, tapping his chin. "Two GMs may be a little too chaotic..."

"But I like chaotic...oh well..." Discord muttered. "It's not like we could fuse into one or something..."

"...Well...technically...we could always..."

"...Normally I'd say no...but I've always wanted to do that!" Discord admitted, looking frustrated. "Fine! Let's do it...Just so I can say I DID..."

The gathered ponies blinked, watching as Discord and Accord stood next to each other.

"Fuuu... sion! Ha!" both Spirits said, doing the classic Dragon Eggs Z Fusion Dance and vanishing in a bright explosion of light that faded to reveal...Discord with a monocle and slightly different hair, wearing the appropriate fusion attire.

"We are Disaccord! Spirit of Neutrality!" he announced, his voice with an echo. "I will be your Gamemaster for this evening! Now please make your characters! I can only exist for 30 minutes at a time!"

"Uh...that might take longer than 30 minutes..." Rainbow Dash pointed out.

"...Horseapples...We knew we should have used the Potaras..."

OOC: For the record: I only did this because it's FREAKING DISCORD and he's the only character I could see doing this.

Session 51.1 Mtangalion

In a slightly different dimension...

"Fuuu... sion! Ha!" A length of rope fell to the ground in a coil and did absolutely nothing.

"Hah, hah," deadpanned Rainbow Dash. "Discord plus Accord is just Cord. Get it?"

"Oh my," fretted the orderly Fluttershy. "What do we do with them for the next half-hour?" asked the chaotic one.

(Zip-pan to all the ponies taking turns skipping rope.) ;)

Session 51.2 Mtangalion

Cheerilee’s class was back in the “Transformation Time Adventure” educational comic for another day of fun… and learning, if Cheerilee had anything to say about it.

“So!” she rumbled, once again a full-grown dragoness with shimmering amethyst scales. “Last week, our battle with the evil Time Changers didn’t go so well! What did we learn from that, class?”

Snips the minotaur calf snorted, arms folded across his muscular chest. “Snips totally could have defeated them and ended the threat then and there! We just weren’t prepared.”

Silver Spoon the griffon raised her claw. “Hey, meathead, how were we supposed to be prepared for all five of them at once? Ugh, that was so lame.”

“Classic hopeless boss battle,” said Button Mash the deer fawn, nodding. “Come on, knocking us all down to one hit point, then laughing and saying we weren’t worth their time? We were supposed to lose.”

Cheerilee learned towards him, growling, and the fawn sprang away, hiding behind Sweetie Belle the purified changeling. He peeked out from behind her wings cautiously.

Sweetie shared some love with her coltfriend/fawnfriend/prospective mate to reassure him… she’d picked that up surprisingly quickly. “Maybe… we need to learn more about the creatures we’ve become, and their history, and that will help us battle more effectively?”

Cheerilee clapped her forepaws together. “Excellent answer, Sweetie! For the rest of the morning, we’re going to split up in the comic world and learn individually. In fact, some of you are in for a real treat, because I was able to bring in actual members of the species you chose to help with the lesson.”

When the scene changed, Silver Spoon found herself alone, standing on an elegant metal terrace of a style she’d never seen before, with a doorway into a sheer stone cliff behind her, and dizzying drops in every other direction. “Whoa,” she breathed, spreading her wings in awe. There was an entire city built into the mountain peaks, with archways and castle towers rising even higher.

Wings overshadowed her, and before Silver realized what was happening, Gabby the griffon had already snatched her up and hugged her tight. “Aw, you make such a cute fledgling, little pony! It’s too bad Sweetie, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo didn’t chose to be griffons, but you did, and that’s awesome!”

Silver’s indignant squawk came as naturally as if she’d been born with it. “Hey, lemme go! You’re not my mom!”

Gilda landed beside them, cackling, and rubbed it in with an extra fluff of Silver’s crest. “You see? Even Gabby Gumdrops here will tell you that we’re the awesome ones. That’s lesson one, by the way.”

Silver squirmed loose and groomed some of her fur back down. “Whatever,” she grumbled… although she did have to admit, she *did* feel pretty awesome, in a way that was different than just being a rich filly with cool friends. “Where are we?”

“I’m so glad that you asked!” said Gabby. “This is Griffonstone, just like it was five hundred years ago. It’s a prime target of the Time Changers.” She took off and hovered, sweeping her forelimbs out wide. “Pretty much only griffons lived here back then. Can you see why?”

Silver looked around. “There’s no bridges or anything, no way to get around without flying.” She scratched her crest with a claw. “But, what if a griffon couldn’t fly, because they got old or hurt, or something lame like that?”

Gilda shrugged. “Then they lived down there, in Lamesville.” She pointed towards a slum-like gathering of tents, on the ground far below. “Sad, but true. The new Griffonstone, that’s gonna be a lot more accommodating for grounded folks and ponies. Heh, they’re helping pay for it, after all. Plus, they’re doing radical things with replacement wings these days.”

“Now then…” Gabby flipped through some note cards. “In the battle with the Time Changers, you fell into a pit trap.” She leaned close, grinning hugely. “Why?”

Silver bristled. “I… forgot I could fly.”

“So fly!” cheered Gabby. “Let’s do it! Go, go!”

Silver Griffon extended her wings, cringing. “I know I did it once without thinking about it, when I’d just changed… but I don’t know if I can now. What if I suck at it?”

Gilda scoffed. “Meh, thinking too much... gets you every time. Don’t worry, squirt. We’ll teach you how to fly… the griffon way.”

Gabby blinked, smile fading. “Are you sure, Gilda?”

“Duh, it’s an enchanted comic!” squawked Gilda. “She can’t get hurt.”

Silver watched Gabby shrug and take off, gliding away. The silver fledgling was getting a nasty suspicion. “Can’t get hurt? Wait… Oh no, you’re not seriously going to….”

Gilda grabbed her and tossed her right off the ledge.

Silver plummeted down the cliff, screaming and tumbling end over end… and some instinct made her snap her wings open, flapping hard. She kept screaming anyway until she realized that she… wasn’t falling? Or going squish on the rocks below?

In fact, Gabby was hovering ten feet below her with claws outstretched, happy that she hadn’t needed to catch Silver. “Woohoo!” she squealed, pumping her fisted claws. She rose past Silver, doing corkscrews in the air. “Now follow me, and let’s fly!”

Silver flew upwards too, even daring to try a spin of her own, and squealing when sky and ground whirled around her. “This is awesome!”

Gilda swooped in, gliding alongside them. “I know, right? Race ya to the big snowy peak!”

Session 51.3 Alex Warlorn

The Under-Pony game, Fluttershy and the others decided, would be a good way to teach foals some empathy, and would help Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon both grow out of their old attitudes. What better than the table top game where no one had to die?

Except... Things weren't quite working out that way.

Fluttershy herself was finding herself bewildered, unsure of herself, and rethinking the basic adventure path and the morals that the game was supposed to be teaching.

There was supposed to be a hidden 'killer' stat that the Game Master would keep track of, rising every time the player's character killed someone, and as it reached critical mass, the player's character was supposed to start attacking monsters without their input.

Diamond Tiara had no clue this stat existed, but her unwitting rules lawyering was keeping it from rising to anywhere that it should have by now!

"I GET that she was trying to raise money so her star-spider friends who safely move from the ruins. But she tried to murder me for not buying her insanely overly priced star-spider cakes that I didn't have money to buy in the first place! If she couldn't afford to lower the prices, and if she was that desperate, she could have been asking to donations too! But instead she just tried to eat me! That doesn't make her misunderstood! That makes her a psycho!" Diamond Tiara exasperated.

-

"She says she's sorry, but she says she can't be friends with a murderer," Fluttershy said calmly.

"Wait! She said 'murderer'? Explicitly?" Diamond Tiara asked.

"Well, yes, but I don't see-"

"Is she friends with the Mountain King?"

"Uh... yes?" Fluttershy responded cautiously.

"Then isn't she being hypocritical? Haven't the Mountain King killed foals?"

"Well... that's... different ..."

"First, 'murder' implies whoever you killed was helpless, or otherwise posed no immediate lethal physical threat to you or somepony else, SHE was trying to murder ME ... And do the monsters keep expecting ponies to just politely stand there and die, and then get angry when THEIR would be murderer dies when their victim enacts self defense?"

Fluttershy felt her head spinning. This wasn't how it was supposed to go.

"The Mountain King premeditated killing the previous six foals, rather than the foals jumping him while he was walking in the park and tried to kill him and go through his pockets for loose change. So either she should be friends with me, or she shouldn't be friends with the Mountain King."

"Uh... Excuse me!" Fluttershy fled. Leaving the two foals at the table rather befuddled. "TWWWWWILLLLIIIGHT!"

-

Twilight blew some dust off some old law books (There hadn't been a murder in Equestria in over a hundred years), and scanned the aged and yellow pages. "Uh... technically, she's not wrong."

"... " Fluttershy felt dizzy. "I think I'll go check on Mr. Oinky, AJ says the griffins who want to buy them want to be sure they don't have worms or any other diseases. I know they'll make great pets."

"Who wants fresh bacon?!" Gilda came in kicking open the door. Sizzling bacon strips in her claws. Fluttershy fainted. "Uh, oops, thought this was where they were having Bacon Con, sorry."

Session 51.4 Quartzscale

Button Mash stood expectantly in his deer form watching the forest around him and for some reason feeling at one with all the nature around him. It was entrancing and seemed to occupy his thoughts. He had heard that the deer were kind of rude and jerks but Princess Twilight had met with King Blackthorn who took over from King Aspen. He was kind and worked for the benefit of his deers. She had also muttered about trying not to shoot any more gigantic laser beams near the Everfree Forest but that didn’t seem important to him.

“Hello young one.” A voice called out to him from behind him.

Button Mash turned around and saw a very beautiful doe though a small part of him was sure it was just the transformation magic coursing through his body making him feel that way. It was weird to say the least but like all games he knew he would have to learn from the trainer then the bar would go up giving him a stat increase. ‘Piece of cake.’ He thought.

“Hi. Who are you? I’m Button Mash.”

“I am Willow Reed. I am the attendant of the King and here to teach you how to use the abilities that this book has given you. First do you know anything about the deer at all?”

Button actually thought about it. There wasn’t a lot of information about deer. It wasn’t because he had fallen asleep in his book while Twilight had lectured. He quietly perished the thought but pulled out some clues he had read before passing out… he meant… passively learning.

“I think deer have latent telekinesis and the ability to control plant life. I’m not sure about anything else.” He sheepishly stared at his hooves.

“That is fine young one. This is a new body for you and I will help you learn about these abilities. You are right in that we have latent telekinesis but that is for fine tuning rather than picking things up. Here watch what I mean.” She stared at a small piece of bark on a stump. Her horns glowed a light forest green and the bark slowly starting peeling off the stump. It wasn’t fast but it was consistent and kept at a fine pace until she removed a ring of bark still perfectly connected to each other.

“Still there is a limit.” She focused the glow on a large stone which Button thought was bigger than Snips in his minotaur form. It barely lifted above the ground and only flew at low angles. The signs of overtaxing magic appeared on the doe’s face.

“So I can’t lift really heavy things then…” Button contemplated his own abilities and tried channeling magic. He didn’t know how to do it except for thinking about it. Just like in a game all you had to do was try something and it usually happened. While it was still weak he did manage to tear a piece of bark off of the stump. He mentally winced after what happened when some ponies tried to make a bridge out of a tree and that caused their prince to get angry beyond belief. She didn’t though.

“Good work. You seem to be a natural in this. Was something wrong when you moved the bark?”

“No. I… just thought…,” He trying to look away hoping not to look her in the eye. “ You would be mad at me for hurting the tree…”

“Oh? Why? It’s not like you’re doing it maliciously. And all you did was remove some bark. Had you tried to tear the tree down I might have scolded you a bit. There is a reason for it though I assure you.” She smiled at him.

Utterly confused and the emotion on his face quite readable she thought about how the next explanation would go. It was a bit complex and required some better accessibility to swallow. ‘From what Miss Cheerilee said Button is a visual learner and better with a hooves on approach.’

“Well… Deer are highly attuned with nature. We feel everything about the nature around us. Think of us as druids in your O&O games.” She smirked when Button’s eyes widened from the comparison. Instead of continually talking she pulled out the small barrel of potions she brought with her.

“This here,” She raised her hoof to the barrel. “ is the carrier for our brand of magic. We manipulate potions like zebras but with our own sway on things.” She poured a bit of the potion on the stump letting it seep into each ring and then coated the area where they had each removed the bark. It took only a few drops to fill everything strangely enough. Then the tree began to grow into a mighty oak tree which seemed to pierce the sky. Button Mash knew that it was the comic using it’s own mechanics to sensationalize the growth but he had to admit it looked pretty cool anyways.

After the demonstration the two spoke about what he needed to do to recreate the potions used and how much to use of each potion. Button felt a bit overwhelmed until she used stat boosts to explain the use of each potion and what it would affect on nature. She then presented him with a barrel already filled with some potions. Not enough to get through the whole game but enough to last him until he met with Apple Bloom again. Since she was a zebra the two of them could manipulate the potions together and probably create a super potion that would make them overly tough. ‘Game Breaker here we come.’ He tried to hide the triumphant look on his face and waved goodbye to his teacher.

Willow Reed watched intently until he left the room when former king Aspen walked up to her.

“You have done a wonderful job.” He stood impassively next to her. He had been curious on who had chosen the path of a deer and was surprised it had been a buck instead of a fawn.

“I suppose my king though I could tell by his eyes that he didn’t have the best impression of deers. Any ideas?” She nodded towards him.

“Leave that to Blackthorn for now. I’ll have to talk to him about increasing our visibility amongst the other races so we aren’t pushed to the side. Still at least our representatives are having an easier time reaching here than the zebras are. There haven’t been any delegates around here aside from Zecora and she claims not to be a leader of her zebras.” The former king sighed.

“Something wrong si- Aspen.” She corrected herself. She always had seen Aspen as king and it was weird right now.

“Nothing. I just miss the friends I made from there. Zinc and Zephyros. Both of those zebras knew the importance of working with nature. Come let’s go back and get ready for anything else we may have forgotten to teach him.

The two left the forest that had been conjured by the comic and went back to their own forest picking out some books they might need should the young buck need to learn more about the deer.

Session 51.5 Mtangalion

For a moment, Rumble thought that Miss Cheerilee must have thrown him into the enchanted comic’s dungeon. Had he fallen asleep in class or something? Did enchanted comics really have a dungeon? This room sure looked like a dungeon, the way it was built from heavy stone bricks with no windows, and lit only by a pair of torches, not glow gems!

“Hello?” he called out nervously. “Wait, what am I doing? I’m a thestral now!” He struck a cool pose, imagining that he was Robin the Colt Wonder. “Yeah! I own all this spooky stuff!”

And then a shadow cast by the torches swallowed up his own shadow before him, stretching across half the room. “Boo.”

“Arrrgh!” Rumble jumped in fright. When nothing pounced and ate him right away, he peeked his slitted eyes open and saw an ash grey thestral mare with a short blue mane walking towards him… upside-down? On the ceiling!?

She extended a hoof, amused. “Hi, Windy Whisper. And you’re the one who picked thestral…” She flipped through some notecards. “Rumble. Pegasus, huh? That’ll make teaching you to fly easier. Or harder. I’m actually curious which.” She stretched her bat wings out, still bizarrely upside-down. “I’m told that thestrals fly differently than pegasi, but heh, what would I know? I’ve never been anything else.” She gave him a look. “So, are you just going to hang around there all day?”

“Huh?” That’s when Rumble finally realized that the scary mare was right side up, and *he* was clinging to the ceiling! The moment he started wondering how he could possibly be doing that, his hooves immediately lost their grip, and he fell to the floor in a heap. The mare laughed, starting towards him, and Rumble jumped up, shying away from her. “Are you really a teacher? I’ve never seen you around Ponyville!”

Miss Cheerilee’s dragon voice spoke from thin air, startling the colt yet again. “Rumble, Miss Whisper is a friend of mine. It’s okay for you to feel safe around her. Like most thestrals, Windy Whisper is nocturnal. That means…”

“She sleeps during the day,” said Rumble automatically.

“Very good! That’s one of the reasons why you won’t often see her, even though she lives in Ponyville, the same as we do. Of course, we’re still trying to get her to step out of that cave of hers for more than just Dusklight game night…”

“You live in a cave, like Batmare!?” blurted out Rumble.

Windy smirked. “Yes, I live in a cave. No, it’s not full of crime-fighting gadgets. I feel like I’ve had this conversation before.”

Rumble blushed. “Uh, hehe… sorry about that, Miss Whisper. And, sorry I was afraid.”

Windy beamed. “Eh, I’ve gotten used to it. You will too, kid. You’re one of us now, at least for a little while.” She trotted away, towards the room’s single wooden door. “Normally, I’d tell you that thestrals are just like regular ponies, except when they’re not. It’s kind of my thing. However…” She glanced back towards him. “You signed up for a time travel adventure, so three guesses what’s outside there.” She unlatched the door and swung it open on creaking hinges.”

Rumble inched through the door, folding his unfamiliar wings tightly so they wouldn’t snag on the doorframe… thestrals were the same as pegasi that way, he supposed… and then the colt’s little eyes grew wide. “Whoa!”

They were standing on a torchlit castle rampart, decorated with tall gold and silver banners that were instantly familiar from his favorite exhibit at the Royal Canterlot Museum. The sky overhead was pitch dark and full of stars, stars that he could clearly see, even with the full moon looming large and cold over the castle towers. “The War of the Two Sisters a thousand years ago!?” He galloped all around, trying to get a better look at everything. “Are there gonna be cool sword battles, and magic spells blowing stuff up?!”

“That kind of chaos is what the Time Changers would want,” Windy Whisper reminded him, as she followed him watchfully. “And what we’re trying to avoid having any more of.” She paused to let that sink in. “At this point in time, about… two weeks before it all goes down, the Princess of the Night is only allowing her trusted thestrals inside the Lunar Wing of the palace. When your team has a mission here, the others will be counting on you, Rumble.” Windy smirked. “Now, before we get to the lesson plan… I could use a snack. Let’s see what kind of thestral you are.”

Rumble froze.

Windy groaned. “Not like that. Your teeth, let me see your teeth.”

“Why?” asked Rumble, but he opened his mouth like he was at the dentist, letting Windy squint and prod with a hoof, nodding to herself. “Nice! You’re a fruit eater, same as me.”

Rumble sat his hindquarters down, more confused than ever. “But… all ponies eat fruit.”

“Do they eat fruit like this?” said Windy smugly, tossing an apple at him.

Rumble snatched the apple right out of the air and hissed, wrapping his bat wings protectively around his prize. He had no idea what had come over him all of a sudden, but that didn’t stop him from sinking his fangs into the apple and sucking, drinking it up like a juicebox. “Sw- sweet!” he whooped. “It tastes SO good!”

Windy ate another apple herself, ears twitching contentedly. “I bet you’re glad the magic comic didn’t make you a bug eater or a blood drinker.”

Rumble shuddered. “I am now! Uh… can I have another apple, please?”

Windy nodded. “Sure. Drink up, we have a lot of ancient history to cover.”

Session 51.6 Quartzscale

Snails stood stock center on a large temple disk that seemed to be praising the sun. On that disc stood a large silver llama seemingly in a modified sukhasana position. Snails slowly stepped forth unable to really present what he felt at this point. Otherworldly came to mind and empty minded soon followed suit. The transformation didn’t really come with an instruction booklet. Still he was determined to at least figure out why he was floating. The head llama was sitting still and seemed to only move its ears whenever Snails hoof made a sound on the stone floor.

Snails took a deep look around him noticing the mountainous regions and how they seemed to be calling to him. There was this deep need to follow the desire but he kept to his guns and the fear that Miss Cheerilee would sit on him if he ran off into comic land.

“Welcome Snails. Please be seated before me.” The llama said with complete control of his breathing and tone kept quiet. The voice seemed to echo throughout the mountains and back to Snails.

“Woah! How did that happen?” Snails exclaimed as the levitation he was performing blinked out and deposited him on the ground with a clack.

“OW.” Rubbing his chin he stood back up and walked directly to the old master. The pain wasn’t bad but he was overly curious when he noticed that the old llama master was floating off the ground yet still seemed to be at the same position.

“Welcome once again young one. I am Pacha, Old Yogi Master from beyond the cascading sea. It is a pleasure to see one as young as yourself take an interest within our culture.” Pacha stopped floating and took an ardha virabhadasana position. With the sudden shift a nearby rock was crushed into dust within a few seconds.

Snails went wide eyed at the display and attempted the move as well facing a similar rock before him. Performing the same movements a force shot out from him. The rock didn’t turn to dust but a few cracks appeared on it. Nothing to write home about but enough to show that something was done to the rock. A little embarrassed at the attempt Snails tried again to diminishing results.

“Do not force it young one. The power of our people is through a clear mind. One you possess in spades. Think of nothing. Feel nothing. Then the power of the universe will flow through you.” Pacha moved into a new position. The vrksasana position. Plant life seemed to grow from out of nowhere all around him. Not to the extent of a deer but enough to feed a group for days to come.

“We live in a world of necessity and we can all perform our part for the world regardless of who we are or whom we have been. The universe flows through the hearts and souls of each being living in this world. Good and Evil are nothing and the concepts of inner morality must guide you. Princess Celestia has said it once to me as well. Friendship is something worth striving for.” Pacha spoke and Snails listened.

For hours the two performed position after position allowing the two to get to know one another and to learn what it meant to be a llama. Instead of words Pacha allowed the inner magic of his people to teach Snails. It was enough to cause the turned colt to learn a few tricks even though he never was good at school sometimes.

“Thanks you Master Pacha.” Snails said as the moon started to lower in the fake night sky.

“I claim to not be your master Snails. I am your friend and I have taught you what I can to make it so your friends will get through this. Meditate on these thoughts. They may teach you more than could ever be possible.” Pacha spoke succinctly.

Snails trotted away towards the rest of the group while the llama levitated on the stone disc in the first position he started in.

“I’m glad I called on you Pacha.” A voice called from behind him.

The voice startled Pacha causing him to fall flat on his face. The giggling that it caused was enough to make him groan.

“Celestia please you know I hate to be surprised.” The smile on his face dissuaded that line of thought really quickly.

“I know but could you deny me the chance to surprise you. I hope it went well with the child. I know you haven’t taught for a while.” Celestia sheepishly looked away.

“Do not worry about me. I knew how to handle a colt. A little flash and they listen better to the history. I don’t know if he absorbed it all but he at least knows what to do to help his friends.” Pacha solemnly spoke out.

“Thanks you for coming out and helping with this problem. I still think you should come to the summit more often.” Celestia motioned towards a Canterlot made out of her magic.

“Perhaps but I’m not a leader of my people. Just an old master who has gone out of his way for a friend.” Pacha silently smiled but kept his tone low.

“You are still a good one. I hope you enjoy your stay here.” Celestia bowed but stayed sitting with Pacha for a few more minutes while they reminisced about times that pass.

Session 51.7 Kendell2

The Crystal Empire was a place full of love and light, so it made sense to hold love based events there.

In this case, a couples table top gaming party for any who sought to come to celebrate Hearth's and Hooves Day. Other than games to play, there was naturally a large amount of red, as well

Cupid thanked his cousin for the gesture.

"Thanks for letting me come with Sweetie Belle, mom!" Button Mash exclaimed in excitement.

"You're quite welcome dear," Maternity said, giving a smile. "Ah, young love..."

"And thanks, Rarity!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed to her big sister.

Rarity smiled. "You're welcome, Sweetie Belle..."

"Why are you grinding your teeth?"

"Oh nothing!" the Fashionista replied. 'I'm proud of you but why you and not me!'

"Okay, dear, that's the last of it," said Mr. Cake, putting a cake shaped like a massive heart on the table. "Shall we find a game?"

Mrs. Cake nodded. "Yes...do you think Pinkie Pie is doing okay with the twins?"

"Oh of course she is. And you know how much the twins love playing with little Flurry Heart."

Shining Armor waved to 8-Bit and Maternity, then looked to Cadence. "This is going well, but it feels like something is missing..."

Cadence nodded. "True...I'm not sure what..."

The stadium shook as two gigantic forms landed near by. Queen Tiamat and King Bahamut looked down on the arena. "...Are we late?"

Cadence chuckled and looked to her husband. "There they are."

Session 51.8 Alex Warlorn

"Oh sweet loving Rose Dust, when that teacher said one of the foals might chose to become a changeling, this isn't what I thought she meant."

Sweetie Belle, in the form of one of Thorax's changelings... found herself staring face to face with a Black Hive changeling, who happened to be particularly small, a foal's size, but had the shape of an adult, a dwarf changeling ... what a minute.

"Kevin?" Sweetie asked.

"Yeah, that's me." Kevin grunted. He cleared his throat. "Welcome cattle, I mean pony colt or filly, transformed into a vile abomination that looks like rainbow puke of the once proud but now technicolor Black Hive changeling swarm."

"... I'm guessing you don't like Thorax now being your king?"

"I don't want Chrysalis back in charge. But I thought the whole darn point of you ponies was that you learned not to judge a book by its cover, and so once we're all friends, we change covers. And I think the new forms look ugly. And it makes absolutely no sense for you to look like one if you're supposed to be 'fixing time' in this 'Edutainment' game, bleh. They should have stuck with the attacks by the Miss Speller's attacks of bad grammar."

"So uh... where are we?"

"Oh right, let me get into character." Kevin said then in a bored soulless monotone. "Oh hark oh brave Time Agent, the time breakers have come here to disrupt history, only you can protect time and space from their corruptions. Ensure history happens as it should."

Session 51.9 Alex Warlorn

Rainbow Dash and Rarity were playing Ages of Equestria, naturally a magically enhanced version, and were once again using the cutie mark map to enhance the game play.

In their imaginations, Rarity and Rainbow Dash imagined all their little citizens as miniature versions of themselves.

Rainbow Dash raised a massive Roamare army ... ready to crush Rarity's civilization from the history books.

Rarity on the other hoof... was spending all on her resources on... priestesses?

"What? Are they gonna sermon my army to death?" Rainbow rolled her eyes.

"Come and find out darling." Rarity said with a simple smile.

Rainbow Dash never one to back down from a challenge, did exactly that.

The army of imaginary Rainbow Dash's in heavy armor flew towards Rarity's pathetic priestesses.

But at once Rarity's little miniature clones began to calling out, "Waa-haa-haa!" Over and over.

"Pst. What's that supposed to be? Pleas for mercy? You... better... think... a-gain... HEY! What are you all doing?! Get back here!" Rainbow Dash shouted at her little army of herself who began before her eyes to switch sides!

"AAAAAH! All my bad flank pegasus warriors are dressing up as foozy faashiontinas!" Indeed, Rainbow Dash was beseeched by the sight of herself several times over now dressing in style.

"This is why you need to read the manual darling," Rarity said still smiling.

Session 51.10 Quartzscale

It was an eventful time for all ponies as two particular ponies came out of nowhere to enjoy muffin time with Derpy. On her left sitting demurely with Angel by her side was Fluttershy. She daintily sipped some tea with her extra muffin while on her right was Rarity animatedly talking about something that Derpy couldn’t even follow. After twenty minutes of nonsense she wasted no time seeing that there was only one muffin left.

“Who would like the last muffin?” Derpy chirped out while her hoof rested against the muffin button.

Both mares raised their hooves stopping when the other did so as well.

“If you would like it darling by all means you may have it.”

“I couldn’t take it from you Rarity. You can have it.”

“Fluttershy I insist. A lady must watch her figure you know.”

Before the conversation could go any farther Derpy pressed the muffin button.

In a flash of light Fluttershy was now wearing a yellow suit jacket and blue tie. On her left hoof was a strange open hoof sock which might have been another glove like the doc said. Angel was turned into this strange blue light trapped in a watch. Her mane was done up in a pony tail. Derpy thought it was odd that she had a pony tail even though she already was a pony with a tail. The consequences were mind staggering.

Rarity, on the other hoof, was wearing a black trench coat and seemed to have a duality go on between the two. On her front hooves were the remains of manacles as if she had just been held on trial. Near her side was a large katana that seemed to emit a deadly force from just being in the room. From out of nowhere Opalescence flew in through an open window. Yes she flew as she now resembled a hawk. She flapped above Derpy and perched in place to watch over the proceedings.

“Um… Reasons for the muffin?” Derpy offered her hoof towards both mares.

“Quite Darling. I believe Fluttershy should have the muffin because she hardly ever gives herself a chance to enjoy life.”

OBJECTION!

“I know Rarity deserves it she has been working hard on that order for the Icehome branch store she opened. She needs it,”

TAKE THAT!

“Fluttershy I insist that you have it look at Angel Bunny.”

Angel was flashing a multitude of colors mostly blues which seemed to indicate sadness and also some discord in her voice. The idea not the being. Opalescence yawned somehow even in the guise of a bird.

“Wait. Ideaaaaaa~” Rarity took the katana and sliced the muffin in half frightening everypony around them.

The two mares enjoyed their halves of the muffin. Derpy pressed the muffin button and everything returned to normal. She would never press the button whenever Rarity was around, ever again.

Session 51.11 Quartzscale

Diamond Tiara stood directly in front of a new area within the comic. Seemingly all around her were rolling plains and several pools of water cascading down to another pond. The most glorious sight before her was a large pagoda style tower reaching much larger than the Canterlot Palace and more intricate in design. Around the entire structure were thirteen statues of various animals which seemed to be weirdly set up in a pecking order. At the top was a stone eastern dragon. On the second level were a rat, an ox, a tiger, and something she didn’t recognize. (It was a horse.) On the third level was a rooster, a cat, a rabbit, and a dog. On the third level was a pig, a snake, a sheep, and a monkey.

“That’s really weird.” Tiara muttered to herself while she stepped into the pagoda. Torches were held equidistant from the center of the room and lit up the entire floor revealing three seats against the far wall.

“Hello! I’m here to learn thing about myself or something to that effect.” Her words trailed off as the torches went out and darkness took over the room. She screamed.

“Worry not young one. You are in safe paws within these hallowed halls. Please tell us your name so that we may understand one another better.” A voice called out from the darkness silencing the screams and filling Diamond Tiara with a sense of calm.

‘Remember what Daddy said. Confidence when you go into business deals. Does that apply here?’ Tiara’s eyes went wide when her own advice went against her fight or flight instincts.

“Diamond T-tiara.”

“Welcome Diamond Tiara. We are here to facilitate your venture into the wonderful life we have made for ourselves. I am the current chosen leader of my people. You may call me Tsuki no Kagami. Kagami for short if you would like.” The voice called out from the darkness. “I, of course, did not come alone though. Allow me to show you.”

Four blue flames appeared on the snuffed out torches while a fifth appeared near where Tiara saw the thrones set up. As the lights reappeared she knew why the lights had dimmed. A large white kitsune sat where the middle throne was as nine beautiful tails lazily draped around the kitsune. As she said she was not alone either. On either side were two other kitsunes. The one of the right was of orange fur and seemed to have six glorious tails. It also had a nasty scar across its right eye and merely bowed at Diamond when their eyes met. On the left was a red kitsune with three tails. This one seemed feminine and more playful as she waves at Diamond without hesitation.

“Allow them to introduce themselves.” A tap on the left came up. The female kitsune spoke first.

“Hi there little foal. I’m so glad you chose to be a kitsune like us. It will be so much fun. My name is Taiyou no Bizu. You may call me Bizu. I’ll be teaching you all the cool pranking ways its gonna be great.” The kitsune smiled as she disappeared into thin air only to appear behind Diamond Tiara and startle her.

“YIP YIP YIP!” The kitsune laughed aloud until one of the while tails smacked her across the head.

“Manners Bizu.” A paw reached for the scarred Kitsune.

“Welcome. I am Hikari no Tsurugi. You may call me Tsurugi. I will teach the Foxfire techniques you may need to battle these Time Changers.” His one good eye focused on Diamond sending shivers throughout her entire body.

“Hi… I’m glad to be here. Um… Where should we get started?” Tiara stammered out still feeling both intimidation and fear. The kitsunes she was around seemed really powerful for some reason she couldn’t place her newly formed paw on.

“I shall start.” Kagami stepped down and stood before Diamond. It was then she noticed that something was different about her tail. The tip of each tail seemed to have ink on all of them.

“What’s wrong with your tail Kagami?”

“Ah so you noticed then. You see our tails secrete something known only as the Lifeline of the Gods. Basically its like paint but this paint can somewhat manipulate reality in strange ways. Probably not to the extent of the other creatures on this world but enough to change some things. Did you see the statues outside?” Kagami started her explanation. From the info from Cheerilee she would need to be a confident being to keep her attention.

“Yeah I do. I didn’t really understand what they were.”

“Each is a representation of the gods we have come to worship within the land of neighpon amongst the older generations at least. Each one allows us to perform different abilities except for the dog and rabbit. We still don’t understand why though…”

A distant time and Far away…

“We thank you for allowing us to do this for thou.” Luna spoke regally to a small rabbit with red markings holding a large mallet. It seemed a bit angry though Luna had tried to steal some mochi.

Celestia and a large white dog with red markings stood off to the side relaxing with each other while they watched the argument reach a fever pitch.

“Well it does not matter. Allow me to explain. The dragon allows us to restore broken or lost objects, the rat slices through obstacles, the monkey grows plant life, the pig creates fireworks, the snake controls water, the rooster controls fire, the sheep slows the progression of time, the cat allows you to walk along walls, the tiger controls lightning, the ox controls ice and the last controls wind. No I won’t say what it is. Though it should look familiar.” Kagami explained quickly.

“I don’t think I’ll get all that.” Diamond looked confused.

“Do not worry we shall take the time to learn about it.”

Session 51.12 General Lemarc

Fluttershy, being Fluttershy, had planned on being able to talk down the godslayer from the very beginning. So she'd invested the majority of Aceso's points into manifestation and divine intervention, and had made use of nearly every one of her appearances to her followers to emphasize the importance of winning over the hearts and minds of foes, and of always being willing to give an enemy a second chance, further increasing her bonuses. Had the latest ancient evil threatening Equestria not reared its head, she'd most likely have been able to talk down Bellerophon, or at least point him away from her and her friends and towards the gods who had actually killed his family. And while she was ~~peeved~~ annoyed that she wouldn't be able to do that, she had to admit her excitement at her new task. She finally had the chance to redeem a villain without having to beat them first. Defeat wouldn't mean friendship, it would BE friendship. And, despite the prayers of her avatar/pc hero Tulip, she was confident that both of Zanza's godslayers could be reasoned with. As her essence entered the mortal plain, she made to call out to the Neighponese student and-

"I'LL SHOW YOU THE CREATION OF THE NEW WORLD-IN BLOOD!!!! THE GODS ARE DEAD, ALL HAIL THE GODS! THERE SHALL BE ONE GOD OF DEATH AND ONE OF LIFE! I AM THE-"

Aceso hurriedly shifted her focus towards the witch. "Wasn't his character supposed to be a confident genius chessmaster? " she mumbled to herself.

"I think having an actual god destroy his illusions of being all powerful might have broken a few things, love."

Aceso gasped, having forgotten that, in her current ethereal form her voice was made much louder, so that there would be no misunderstandings of her words(this being made to avoid something akin to Accelerator's " a tack/attack" blunder), and thus her murmurings had been readily available for Anlancia to hear. For her part, Anlancia had managed to not start shooting Aceso, though it seemed to be causing her pain.

"Lady Anlancia", Aceso began "One of my little ponies, er, deer has made it known to me that you are a reluctant servant of Zanza. Please, allow me to free you from his control."

"What's the point? If you free me, then I'm no longer capable of doing my job. You and your lot are about the only gods with any popularity right now; all the other gods and their angels barely have any halos in 'em. And no halos, no life. So I either fight you and die that way, or get claimed by my old contract."

"The gods you served are no more" Aceso pointed out(neglecting to mention that she was the reason for this, having convinced Twilight to avoid putting any truly evil deities in their first campaign). "And I am friends with the Goddess of Wisdom. She may very well know more about the workings of your contract than the gods who made it. I am sure she could free you."

Anlancia hadn't ever enjoyed fighting this latest bunch of gods. For the first time in her long career, she'd run into gods who actually meant all that rubbish about love and tolerance and friendship. And this one in particular seemed almost too innocent to exist, so she didn't doubt the sincerity of the offer. Her pondering was cut short, however, when Bright finally noticed the large ethereal image of an alicorn in the midst of the battlefield.

"BEHOLD THE NEW GOD! BEHOLD MY-"

"What is it with me and children? Fine. I'll take your deal, and I'll even help you against Zanza. One one condition"

"And what would that be?"

Anlancia jumped in the air, pointed all four of her hoof-mounted pistols at Bright, and fired dozens upon dozens of bullets at him until she was absolutely sure he was dead-meaning that he had stopped talking.

"That you don't get mad at me for that."

Meanwhile, in the astral plane...

Zanza had finally been able to channel his divine might to once more wield the Bionis Sword...or Aequitas' spell had worn off, but he much preferred the first. The assorted gods had channeled their collective magic into a bubble shield, but a few swings from his sword had made it clear that it wouldn't last long. Just before he shattered it, the pink alicorn flew out and directly towards him.

"I've been waiting to use this one! I cast Totally Useless Prophecy!"

Zanza actually paused mid-swing in an attempt to understand that. "But why...?"

"Oopsie. Forgot to mention. I used it on YOU. Get ready for some visions!"

Fine then. Any moment now his mind would be filled with false possibilities, designed to trick him into acting the way they wanted. He'd most likely not be able to ignore them, since the spell probably had a suggestive element. He steeled his mind for the visions...and was greeted with a white void. Alright then, auditory. No different. He readied himself for the false oracles, when he heard a chorus of voices...

"I can see the fu-TUUURE!"
"Shining Armor and Cadence have a kid!"
"Discord joins a harmony cult!"
"Twilight becomes an alicorn!"
"Chrysalis comes back for revenge again!"
"Celestia's the most powerful being in the universe but still doesn't do CRAAAP!"

"...WHAT IN THE NAME OF ME WAS THAT?! Two of those already happened! And none of that had any relevance!"

"Well duh! Its' called 'Totally Useless Prophecy' for a reason, silly."

"But what was even the point of that?! Are you trying to annoy me to death!?"

"Nope. But we did manage to cast every single debuff we had while you were under the spell."

Zanza, having regained the rest of his senses, saw she was right. They'd be able to take him out quickly at this rate. Fortunately, he still had one more trick left. He began to glow, and cracks began to form in his body. As Minerva hastily raised another shield, his body exploded, revealing what appeared to be a blonde human wielding a sword, but who crackled with divine, unrelenting light.

"I thought it was annoying to have the ants who lived on me decide to fight their rightful master. I thought it was annoying when they actually hurt me. I thought it was annoying when they insisted on repeating the same half-dozen one-line catchphrases throughout all of our fights! But never, in all my existence, have I had to deal with a group of foes who treat me as if I'm some sort of game!!"

Ludicrissia smiled bemusedly. "Well, we kinda are in a game, y'know."

"I don't care! This ends now! Since we're yelling out attacks now, I activate True Monado Buster, allowing me to instantly remove whoever I hit with it from reality!"

Minerva started. "What?! There's no move like that in the game!"

"There is now!"

"You can't just make up stuff without asking the other players! Its against the rules!" Ludicrissia chimed in. "That's not very nice at all."

"OF COURSE IT ISN'T!!! I'M BUCKING EVIL!!!!!! NOW DIE!!!!"

The girls and Indominus braced themselves, committed to defending Aceso to the last, when...

"Soothing Song!"

Zanza instantly froze in place, and the deities turned to see Aceso, back in her body, along with Anlancia and their player characters/avatars.

"Aceso dear!" cried Lucia. "Thank goodness for you and your pacifist spells. But however did you manage to bring mortals here?"

The mortal realm, a few minutes ago...

Anlancia fired her guns at a random point in the distance. The bullets impacted a barrier a few feet away from her, and somehow managed to punch a heart-shaped hole to the astral plane.

Aceso and the heroes all stared slack-jawed at Anlancia.

"Power upgrade. Came with the whole "servant of the evil god" thing. I do get to keep it once this is over, right?"

The astral plane, now...

"And that's not all I can do, your godlinesses" said Anlancia. "The makers of my contract may be gone, but I can still summon a demon or two. Just be warned, he's not...well, not quite right in the head." Anlancia's mane began to swirl, creating a portal from which emerged a very familiar draconequus...

"Greetings all! Tis I: Discord! Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, Lord of the Unexplained, Baron of..."

Minerva hurriedly brought all the gods into a huddle. "Ok, I know Anlancia can summon demons, but I thought there weren't any real gods in this game. Is this actually Discord, or a copy created by the pocket reality?"

"... Keeper of the Banhammer, Vice-Chairman of..."

"Look, either he's fake, or he's real and is just messing with us by acting fake. The real Discord would've commented on seeing us here by now." Accelerator chimed in. "Buuut I've got a way to deal with him if he's acting."

"Better hurry." said Minerva. "Aceso's spell has almost worn off. But it looks like he's almost done introducing himself."

"...Mayor of Hoofington, The Great and Really Great! Now, what need have ye of my services?"

"Hey there buddy!" Called Accelerator, who floated towards Discord. "We've got an evil god to defeat, and could use another warrior fighting on the side of peace and harmony"

"Oh come come now" oozed Discord in a low voice. "You can drop the act with me, we're both Draconequui here. What's your real game? Got a plan to take down those goody two-shoes?"

Accelerator grinned in a manner resembling a certain Hearths-Warming tale's villain. "You bet I do. See, I start by going after the healer princess. Figured I'd backstab her-literally! And then, while she begs for-"

"You will stop right there or I will turn your feathers into lead Rainbow Dash!!"

"Oh, hey Discord! Sorry 'bout that, but we kinda needed you to stop role-playing, and threatening Fluttershy seems to be the one reliable way to get you to focus. So. Evil god, trapped us in the game as our characters, reached his final form, help plz."

"...I'd be angry, but that was very well done, especially for you Dashie."

"HEY!"

"Rage later, fight evil god now. I believe that was what you were telling me, after all? Oh, and nice job at the end there. Its a little known fact that Draconequui can transfer misspellings into real life. Now, let's pwn that nwb with hax!"

"Ow! Discord!" Minerva yelled, almost getting hit by a swing from Zanza's Monado due to flinching from the spelling errors.

"Not my fault you can't git gud!"(OW!) "Now, let's see what abilities I spawned with. Hmmm, Dancing Buffalo Stampede, Mind of a Dog, Printing Press of-Whoops! Can't use that one here. Oooh! Chocolate Milk Tsunami of Explosions! Now that sounds fun. Now to cast it..."

"No! No more casting, no more saving throws! I'm sick of this! It feels like my entire life has been nothing but a game."

"Well..." said both Discord and Ludicrissia(the latter having even more interdimensional-reference knowledge due to her temporary godhood.)

"That's it! Everyone dies! No, that's too good for you. None of you will ever have lived!"

"Everypony cast their most powerful spells now! That goes for you too heroes!" Minerva assumed the head of the formation of gods and champions(and one reformed godslayer), as a deluge of beams and projectiles launched at Zanza. He moved to deflect them with his Monado, but was suddenly frozen in place, despite having previously used a buff to prevent that healer from paralyzing him again.

"Funny thing about being petrified for a thousand years; you learn quite alot about how it works." Discord's grin was nothing short of malevolent, as if a small part of him had been let out for the first time since his reformation.

Zanza, confronting yet another doom, was finally out of rage, and took some solace in the fact that, doomed though he was, at least he wouldn't go out screaming 'NOOO' like the other antagonists in the wretched world that had been his prison. "...I hate you. I hate you all."

"I know." replied Discord. "I'm really feeling it."

Zanza would have commented on the irony of his previous musings coming right before his current screaming, but he was far too furious for words. "NOOOO-waitwaitwaitdamnitallNOOOOOO!"

Several hours later...

Celestia and Luna had just finalized the guest list for their all-deity session of Age of Gods, when a letter from Twilight materialized before Celestia.

Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned that you can defeat evil gods exiled from other dimensions with annoyance and bad jokes. I also learned that I have a tendency to joke when I'm relieved that a major crisis is over...and that this is the last piece of parchment in the castle somehow, meaning you're going to see that. Oh well. Age of Gods was a great game that really helped my friends gain a better perspective on how deities do their jobs, however this happened in a far more literal manner than expected. Enclosed in this letter is a description of an evil god from another reality known as Zanza, who pulled us into the game. I, along with my friends and Discord(who is also my friend and is really really awesome and totally isn't writing this part conveniently placed in parentheses) was able to defeat him, but it is unknown if he is still present in our universe. Discord has volunteered to search for him, and I've agreed to help him, but not just for the above reason. Apparently, Discord is(somehow) the legal mayor of Hoofington, and so I beg of you to use your authority to change this while I have him distracted so that he won't be able to attempt to institute a city-funded organization of spy pets wearing fedoras(his words). Hopefully the general public will have an increased understanding of the work you and the other deities do once the full, non-possessed version of the game is released.

Sincerely,
Princess Twilight Sparkle

(OOC: And thus ends my first major, well, anything on this site. Hope you enjoyed it)

Session 51.13 Kendell2

"Discord!" called the human Chrysalis, walking into his office. "Are the servers almost fixed yet?"

"My part of it was done, you'll have to ask our anti-hackers..." Discord replied, typing away.

"Then what ARE you doing?" she asked, walking over.

"Oh, just making my contribution to that 'We Are Number One, but it's...' meme going around. I ALWAYS contribute to the memes!" Discord replied with a diabolical laugh and lightning effects. "In this case it's 'We Are Number One, but it's a boss fight with Discord!'"

Chrysalis face palmed. "Fine...Regardless, President Sombra wants to have us program a special event for when things go back up to make up for going down and having to deal with the hackers. Other than the capes for the people who helped beat the hacker."

"Hmm...well, I have this huge victory celebration party even programmed but had nowhere to put it..." Discord replied. "Programmed one for WoH and one for the life sim."

"...Why do you ALREADY have that?" Chrysalis asked.

"Because with the servers down I've been INCREDIBLY BORED!" Discord said, looking like he was going to pull his hair out. "I already did all the required stuff so I started programming random things!"

"...Okay..." Chrysalis replied.

"Also, I think since I was so bored and working on my Screwball anti-hacker program to upgrade her in case this happened again, I may have accidentally caused her to become self aware..." Discord said, peaking over to see a tiny screwball wave at him from the side of the screen. "Or I'm so bored I'm seeing things. Possibly both."

"Say what?"

"Nothing! I'll work on them so I can put them in," he explained.

"Good, get on that..."

Session 51.14 Kendell2

"Uh, Diamond?" asked Applebloom, dressed as Superstallion in one of the Enchanted Comics.

"Yeah?" asked Diamond, dressed as One Punch Mare. And one punching a monster three times her size as if she were stretching, causing it to go flying into orbit.

"Don't yah think a comic where One Punch Mare teams up with Superstallion is kinda overpowered?" Applebloom asked.

"And I'm Superfilly," Sweetie Belle commented, dressed as such.

"And I'm Batmare..." said Scootaloo, likewise dressed as the heroine...with a twist. "With a Green Power Ring!"

"Yes, it's overpowered, that's kinda the point," said Diamond, backhanding a monster as if she were just gesturing and causing it to vanish into the sky with a cartoony twinkle. "This was my 'happy place' after I stopped being a bully but before momma realized she was...not being nice..."

"Oh..." Applebloom said, rubbing her head. "Sorry..."

"Is that why the big bad looks like your mom?" Sweetie Belle asked, pointing to a cackling villain on a skyscraper.

"...I probably should get that changed..." Diamond Tiara said, blinking.

"SPOON!" yelled Silver Spoon, dressed in a blue, full body suit that only exposed her jaw with tick antenna, as she punched a bad guy.

"Also, Silver wanted to do that," Diamond Tiara explained with a smile.

"Hey, wait a second..." Scootaloo said, tapping her chin. "Your power is you can beat anything with one punch if you want to, right?"

Diamond nodded. "Yeah."

"And one of her powers is she can survive anything, even a black hole, right?" Scootaloo asked, pointing to Silver.

"Yeah, I'm nigh invulnerable! Why?" Silver Spoon asked as a thug hit her in the back with a pipe. The pipe bent.

"...So what happens if Diamond punches you?"

The two blinked, looking to each other...

The group floated in a black void, Silver and Diamond looking dizzy.

"Huh, apparently the universe implodes from the paradox..." Scootaloo pointed out, before the comic 'spat' them out back in Diamond's room and burst into flames. "Who knew?"

"Eh, I had to order a new version anyway," Diamond commented as Randolph put the comic out with a fire extinguisher.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (update already)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 51.0 Kendell2
Session 51.1 Mtangalion
Session 51.2 Mtangalion
Session 51.3 Alex Warlorn
Session 51.4 Quartzscale
Session 51.5 Mtangalion
Session 51.6 Quartzscale
Session 51.7 Kendell2
Session 51.8 Alex Warlorn
Session 51.9 Alex Warlorn
Session 51.10 Quartzscale
Session 51.11 Quartzscale
Session 51.12 General Lemarc
Session 51.13 Kendell2
Session 51.14 Kendell2

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Cover art by Baraka1980

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

http://baraka1980.deviantart.com/art/Sir-McBiggun-646867183

Session 52

Session 52.0 Kendell2

"Finally!" the human Rainbow said as they were back into World of Horsecraft. "That was a huge mess!"

"It wasn't all bad, darling," said Rarity, having her ingame self do a taunt to show exclusive cape. "We got these fabulous capes out of it!"

"Yeah! And there's gonna be a big celebration event!" Pinkie Pie cheered.

"Yeah yeah, I'm just happy to get to the next boss," Rainbow replied. "...Though the capes are awesome."

The boss fight with Chrysalis didn't involve a dungeon. That was normally an indication it was either extremely long or extremely hard. Or both.

The first time they'd tried this, Cadence exposed Chrysalis while she was masquerading as them. This time, they used the fragment of Armor of Darkness to not only reveal her, but that Shining Armor was an innocent victim.

"You're going to wish you hadn't done that," Chrysalis snarled as her boss theme started.

=This Day Aria - My Little Pony Friendship is Magic=

"And you're going to regret attacking our country!" called Cadence and Shining's in game selves.

The first phase of the boss fight (and the only one they'd seen the first time before dying) consisted of Chrysalis fighting them with a group of Changelings. Her attacks were powerful and she was quick, but not as unfair as it had been when she was buffed.

"Well, she doesn't have the huge buff from Shining she did last time," Applejack said, falling back so Fluttershy could heal her.

"Yeah, but she has to have some trick to her," Sci Twi replied. "It wouldn't fit the Changelings otherwise."

Sure enough, when they got her health bar down enough, Chrysalis jumped back.

"Let's see how you handle this one!" the Changeling Monarch called with a snarl, bursting into green flames.

=Zant Battle - The Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess=

And emerged as the first boss of the expansion, a demonic shadow monster.

"Are they doing what I think they're doing?" Rainbow Dash asked.

While it was harder than the first time they'd fought the boss, it was still the same patterns and weaknesses, and they got through it okay after whittling down her health enough.

At which point Chrysalis jumped back and transformed again, this time assuming the form of the second boss, a Changeling higher up named Digger Wasp and adopting his fighting style.

"Yep: it's a boss rush," Applejack remarked.

"At least it makes sense, what with her being a shapeshifter and all," the pony Twilight commented.

As her rather sizable pool of health fell, Chrysalis continued to transition through the other bosses one until they reached Tarnished Armor, at which point a cutscene played.

Shining Armor clashed sword to trident against the image of his corrupted self.

"This is all your fault, Shining!" hissed the Changeling Queen in Shining's own voice. "You, who swore to safeguard Equestria were the vanguard of its destruction! The means for me and the Crystal King to do all you have seen! It's all on your head!"

As the impostor pushed Shining back, Cadence flew in and blasted Chrysalis back.

"Don't listen to her Shining, she's only trying to get in your head," the Princess of Love retorted.

"But...she's..." Shining replied, lowering his head.

Cadence nuzzled him. "You were a victim. And in Equestria we cast judgment on the criminal...You're Captain of the Royal Guard, I know you know that better than anypony..."

Shining blinked, then slowly returned it as the group's characters joined them in facing down Chrysalis.

Thankfully, Chrysalis only used Tarnished Armor's last phase and didn't go into Armor of Darkness, but it still made for a difficult fight to get her health down to it's last fourth.

Chrysalis snarled in rage, reverting to her true form. "I'm not out of tricks yet, cattle!" she roared, hissing and drones joining her. she turned into a copy of pony Twilight's character while the others turned into the rest of the party.

=Shadow Temple - The Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time=

"Wow, they're really givin' her a lot off tricks, huh?" Applejack commented as the group engaged the copies.

"Having fought the real one, this isn't inaccurate," pony Twilight commented.

Thankfully the group new each other's characters inside and out at this point and thus knew were the holes in each other's builds were, which gave them an upper hand.

When she had only a bit of health yet, Chrysalis resumed her true form. "Stop it! Stop being so stubborn and accept your fate!" she snarled, her changelings assuming her form.

Chrysalis' attack pattern became very chaotic and unhinged, not helped by the fact they had to keep track of WHICH Chrysalis was the real one and make sure to keep an eye on who needed healing at any one time. It was far from easy to do either, and many, many revival spells were needed.

Finally, Pony Twilight charged up a lightning spell and struck the Changeling Queen dead on, triggering a cutscene.

Chrysalis, battered and bruised, leapt at Cadence, tackling both behind a curtain. When they fell out the other side, still fighting, Chrysalis had assumed Cadence's form before the two threw away from one another.

The two Cadence's looked to each other, then gasped, looking back to the group.

"Finish her! She's Chrysalis!" called one of the Cadences.

"No! Don't let her fool you! She's the real Chrysalis!" called the other one. "If you hesitate she'll destroy us all!"

A prompt appeared, giving them options on what to ask the Cadences.

"Ugh! Now we have to pick the right one?!" Rainbow Dash asked.

Pony Twilight looked through the questions...and noted one. "That one isn't addressed to her."

"Huh?" Applejack asked, looking over.

"It's asking Shining Armor what he thinks," Twilight replied. "And Shining is only here if you beat him first, so..."

The group nodded and selected that option.

Shining Armor's response was to walk forward and look between the two Cadences. "Alright...How did we fall in love?"

The Cadence on the right approached Shining and put a hoof on his chin, smiling lovingly. "Shining, we fell in love as soon as I laid eyes on that handsome face of yours..."

The other Cadence rolled her eyes. "No! We fell in love because he was a huge geek!"

Shining charged up his horn...and blasted the first Cadence to answer, sending her flying back and smashing through Celestia's throne, disguise fading to reveal Chrysalis.

The true Cadence trotted over and nuzzled Shining. "And I'd take a huge geek over the handsomest jock any day."

"Aww!" said everyone but Rainbow Dash.

Twilight couldn't help chuckling. "Funnily enough, that's actually exactly what happened."

=Love Conquers All - my Little Pony Friendship is Magic=

Chrysalis rose back up, snarling in fury...then fear as a pink light gathered around the two lovers.

The two rose into the air, the pink energy forming a heart around them.

"This is Equestria!" Cadence shouted.

"The land we love!" Shining Armor replied as their characters stepped back from the building power.

"AND YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE!" both called, throwing their hooves forward side by side as one.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" shouted Chrysalis as the blast of pink energy erupted forth, slamming into her and sending her and the Changelings sailing out of the city and over the horizon.

"...Did THAT really happen?" Rainbow Dash asked, looking to Twilight.

"Yes," Twilight replied with a chuckle. "Only it was less animane when they did it for real."

Session 52.1 Ardashir

"Why?!?" Chrysalis howled as she blasted the 'com-pew-ter' into ash as it showed her the battle and defeat of her other self. As it fell apart a small tag reading 'Discord's Cross-Dimensional Enterprises' hit the ground. It sprouted a red and yellow eye, gave her a wink, and vanished.

"Why?" Chrysalis yelled again, her nymphs and Changelings scattering for cover. She looked around at them all, her eyes watering. "Why must I be depicted as a loser even in other worlds? What did I do to deserve this?"

"Are we supposed to give an honest answer?" Vordul asked. He barely ducked behind a rock before a spellblast left the stone smoking.

Chrysalis snarled at her small swarm before heading for the door. Along the way she stopped long enough to toss some items into a saddlebag that she put on.

"Mom?" Imago asked, not quite leaving cover. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to that other world," Chrysalis snapped. "I'm going to find those vermin who slander my good-bad name, by making me look so weak! I'll find them, and when I do?" Her Changelings shuddered as she aimed a demented, fanged grin in their direction.

"I'LL MAKE THEM SORRY!"

In the world of Canterlot High and World of Horsecraft:

"Miss Chrysalis, why did you shiver?" Thorax cringed as his supervisor glared at him.

"Nothing, just had the idea another angry mother was going to be visiting to complain. And you, back to work!"

Session 52.2 Alex Warlorn

Away from video games, magic illusions, masquerades within masquerades, and a thousand other absurdities, the mane six plus Spike were once again enjoying absurdities of their own choice again. Once again using the cutie mark map as a game table.

Behind the GM screen Spike said, "Okay Rainbow Dash, you see the big golden treasure chest and-"

"My barbarian attacks the Mimic!"

"Hey! I didn't- I mean, how would you even now it was a Mimic?"

"A big fat tempting treasure chest in a room with no monsters or traps? You've got to try harder than that Spike."

"At least this one isn't shooting fireballs," Twilight Sparkle said with a sense of relief.

'Try harder huh?' Spike thought dubiously.

One dead Mimic and dungeon chambers alter-

"Okay girls, you see a sign that reads in common, 'Waring: beware of Mimic.' Behind it is a big fat treasure chest and-"

"Spike you're making this too easy! Rise and repeat!"

The other ponies cringed waiting for the obviously trapped treasure chest to go off.

"Congratulations Rainbow Dash, you've smashed the treasure chest, destroying all the rare and valuable potions inside and the extremely expensive crystalware."

"What?! That's a cheap trick Spike!"

"Also, right behind you Rainbow on the other side of the corridor, is a nice comfy purple couch with green trim."

"Ugh! I sit-"

"Don't!" Applejack said quickly. "Rainbow! Think! A couch? In a friggin' dungeon?! How does that even make sense? Don't ya see? That there's the real Mimic!"

"And a PURPLE couch with green trim? Isn't that a dead give away?" Twilight said.

Rainbow Dash stood straight up, both in and out of game, tucking her wings close to her. "I stay away from that frggin' couch!"

"Okay everypony, stay away from the couch, keep an eye on it, and move carefully." Twilight said.

The other nodded.

Then Spike said, "As soon as you all have your backs turned, the Mimic who was impersonating the sign attack you."

-

"I get the drop on the beholder shoot it right in its big eye!" AJ said.

"The Gas Spore explodes, roll a reflex save."

"What the heck is a Gas Spore?!"

Twilight answered. "Floating fungus growths that can be easily mistaken for beholders that explodes from taking one hit point of damage releasing their spores everywhere... Except! I don't recall them being around since first edition!"

"They're around if you know where to look," Spike said with a straight face.

-

"Once you girls are halfway through the room, the ceiling turns out to be a Lurker Above, and calls and catches Rainbow Dash. The floor turns out to be a Trapper and grabs Pinkie Pie. The walls are really stun jellies and grab Applejack as she tries to sneak around."

"Ah draw my sword!"

"Yeah, that sword you found? It was a Xaver."

"A what?!"

"A monster that eats metal and is disguised as a sword." Twilight sighed.

"Yes, and it ate your non-wooden weapons while you weren't looking."

"Roll reflex and condition saves girls."

Pinkie Pie made her roll and escaped the trapper's grasp.

"Pinkie Pie, you see a bunch of ponies partying in one of the side rooms, they call to you to join them."

"Wow! Maybe they can help! I rush in to ask."

"Actually, they were illusions, that entire room is a Greater Mimic, and it's hungry."

"Weren't all these monsters banned?!" Twilight asked her hair going wildly out of place.

Fluttershy had stayed back. Her animal pet refusing to go near the room.

Then Spike added. "Oh and Rarity, that beautiful cape you put on was a Cloaker in disguise. It attacks. And that beautiful hand bag you picked up was a bag of devouring, it ate all your gold."

"BETRAYED BY FASHION! SPIKEY-WIKEY HOW COULD YOU?!" Rarity wailed and fell on her chaise longue.

-

"The inn keeper welcomes you in, saying baths are on the house."

"Thank goodness!" Rarity exasperated. "That mud slide was horrible!"

"But he warns you that a Mimic broken in and he think it's imitating one of the bathtubs, so bath at yer own risk."

The other glared at Rainbow Dash.

"Ya just hada tell'em to 'try harder' didn't ya?" AJ scolded.

"Seriously darling, you think you'd remember that's inviting doom to say those words to the Oubliette Overseer." Rarity admonished.

(Inspired by a play-do and quasi-lego figure comic I can't remember the name of now.)

(I was going to have Fluttershy run into a Wolf-in-Sheep's-clothing, but that felt too gruesome given their xenomorph like life cycle.)

Session 52.3 Kendell2

Back with their Chaotic/Lawful morality selves, the groups had chosen their classes:

The Mane Six had chosen their typical classes:

Twilight Sparkle = Wizard.
Pinkie Pie = Bard.
Applejack = Ranger.
Fluttershy = Druid.
Rainbow Dash = Barbarian.
Rarity = Monk.
Starlight = Mismatch of lawful classes.

Their alternate selves had chose THEIR preferred classes.

Draconequus Twilight = Warlock
Pinkamena = Paladin.
Orangejack = Bard
Empathy Fluttershy = Druid
Rainbow Dash = Ranger
Rarity: Rogue
Starlight: Mismatch of chaotic classes.

The game was pretty standards, though they went at it as two separate parties rather than one combined group, and Princess Twilight couldn't help thinking Disaccord as making things harder than they would be as a combined group. But still...she couldn't help showing caution towards her alternate self.

Also keeping things standard was the fact Disaccord was about the most painfully neutral GM ever to the point he seemed to be reading off a script without any personal attachment.

Except to the Fluttershys.

"And the Gelantinous Cube slowly approaches you..." said Disaccord in a boring, monotone voice. "Roll your attack throw."

Twilight did so. "I cast magic missile, aiming at the center of the beast's mass."

Disaccord rolled the Cube's dice and nodded. "You killed it."

"...That's it?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Yes."

"Don't you think that's a bit anticlimactic a way to describe it?" Orangejack asked.

"I have no strong feelings one way or the other," the Spirit of Neutrality replied, then disappeared in a poof and fell apart into Discord and Accord.

"Geeze! That was more boring than being turned to stone!" Discord said. "Why were we so boring!"

Accord got back to his claws. "I suppose that's to be expected when you're the Spirit of Neutrality."

"Well it was boring!"

"Yes, it was, even by my generous standards."

The groups, now with Accord and Discord separate, continued pursuing their Elements of Harmony and Chaos, which was still rather simple. Just find them in dungeons and defeat the boss guarding them.

Then they both tried to confront Grogar...and found out he had his own set of Elements that was able to overpower them, and Grogar himself was leveled for a much larger party than 7 players.

They all ended up locked in Tambelon's dungeon.

"How is THAT fair?!" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Oh, it's quite fair. It's not our fault Grogar's Elements are stronger than the other two sets individually," Discord replied. "And now you're in the dungeon..."

He and Accord snapped their fingers and both sets heroes found themselves locked in a recreation of the dungeons of Tambelon.

"Well, Accord, let's go take a snack break..." Discord said.

"Oh, and tea?"

"Sounds good! I'll have distilled chaos in mine!"

"Hey! You're not going to just leave us here, are you?!" both Twilights asked.

"Oh no, we shall be back in a bit. If you get hungry, there's sandwiches in that mini fridge," Accord replied, snapping his fingers and a creating a small fridge in the cell before the two left the 'room' through a door that appeared out of nowhere.

"...I hate him sometimes..." Orangejack said with a growl.

The two groups set staring at each other, now dressed as their characters. The two Fluttershys trotted over to each other and started talking, as did the two Pinkies, but the rest just sat there.

Rainbow Dash prime finally gave an annoyed sigh. "Okay, I know where this is going..." she muttered, trotting over to Chaos Rainbow. "...So...DO you only care about yourself?"

Chaos Rainbow gave an annoyed sigh. "No! Of course I don't! I just don't like the idea of somepony telling ME how to protect ponies. I'm...okay, you know how Superstallion is a colt-scout, but Batmare works outside the law FOR the law?"

"Yeah..."

"I'm Batmare."

"...Oh!"

Chaos Rainbow looked over. "...So you're not just Celestia's lapdog?"

"Of course not! I do what's right, I just listen to ponies I think earned my respect," Rainbow explained. "...And even then I'll call them out if I think they're wrong. I've done it to the Wonderbolts before."

"...Okay, I guess I can get that."

Session 52.4 Mtangalion

“Aha!” gloated Starlight Glimmer. “So you do agree with me!” She and Princess Twilight stood in one of the Friendship Castle’s many study rooms, surrounded by no less than three chalkboards filled front and back with equations and arcane symbols. “In a world similar to our own, but with a full gender reversal, all social constructs and incidental details related to gender would also be inverted.”

Twilight opened a window, conjuring a breeze to try and get some of the chalk dust out. “I’m not disagreeing with you, Starlight. I’m saying that we shouldn’t just assume the common theory is correct without doing the math.”

Starlight groaned. “Sure, we could do some *more* math…” She grinned, suddenly inspired. “Or, we could just go and see for ourselves!”

“Go where?” asked Twilight, but Starlight’s horn was already glowing brightly, pouring vast quantities of mana into a rotating ring construct covered in fiery runes… and a powerful wind was already drawing her in. “You didn’t… Starlight! What did I tell you about solving your problems with dangerous, experimental magic?”

“What? It’s perfectly safe,” said Starlight, getting swept up in the air currents too. “I just took Starswirl’s time travel spell and rotated the whole thing along the fourth hyperdimensional axis! Add a simple Seeker spell, and…”

They passed through the spinning rings with a brilliant flash. “...and here we are, right on target!” Then she noticed that she was magically hovering in midair, with Twilight flying beside her. “Mostly on target!”

Twilight smirked, shaking her head. “Well, it certainly seems like Ponyville.” She adjusted her wings to glide in a slow arc, surveying the town below them. “Crystal castle and all. Oh, look there…”

On one of the castle balconies not far away, a purple Alicorn stallion was sitting at what looked like a chess board with a definitely male griffon. At least, they *had* been playing chess. Right now, they were staring up at their unexpected visitors.

“Chess,” mused Starlight. “That’s just what we need!” She drifted down towards the balcony. “Excuse me! I’m sorry to interrupt, but we have a question…” She trailed off, eyes widening. “Wow. The guy version of Gilda is… pretty big.”

“Oh?” The male griffon twitched his large beak into a sly grin, rising from his chair to show off big paws and claws, and puff out his broad chest. “Thanks for noticing, toots. You, uh, want a closer look?”

The Alicorn stallion nudged him. “Guilder, behave. I’m guessing they’re not from around here.”

Guilder bowed mockingly, winking. “Yeah, sure, whatever you say, O mighty Prince Dusk Shine!”

Princess Twilight flew down to join them on the balcony. “What, no comment on my male counterpart, Starlight?”

Starlight mulled it over. “Guy Twilight? Oh, he’s not bad. Kind of a bookworm-y, Sunburst-y kind of stallion.”

Guilder blinked twice, then guffawed, slapping the table.

“Hey!” shouted Starlight. “I happen to like that type!”

Dusk blushed. “Let me guess… this was all Starshine Glamor’s idea. I mean, your Starshine… Starlight’s idea!”

Twilight smiled. “The one and only. Well, two and only. Never mind!” She pointed at the chess board. “That game you’re playing! What’s the most important piece, the one that has to be protected?”

Dusk blinked. “The Queen, of course.”

“And the strongest piece, which can move all over the board?”

“The King,” said Guilder. “Duh.”

“Yes!” shouted Starlight, pumping a hoof in the air. “Exactly the opposite of our own world! We’ve proved the theory!”

“Starlight,” said Twilight testily. “We haven’t proved anything. You found one positive example, which doesn’t tell us anything because one isn’t a statistically valid sample, and we still haven’t *done the math*. Now, can we please go home before...”

She was immediately interrupted by a blast of wind and the flash of a rainbow contrail… of course.

“Hey, G!” said the blue pegasus stallion with an athletic build and a frizzy rainbow mane. “Hurry it up before we miss the… show?”

Dusk took a deep breath. “And, here we go. Rainbow Blitz... meet Twilight and Starlight.” He took a hasty step back.

“Whoa!” Blitz zipped right up close, eyeballing Princess Twilight. He backed off, taking a suspicious midair stance with his forelimbs folded. “So you’re Dusk and Starshine from one of those crazy comic book universes where everypony is the wrong gender, huh?”

Twilight raised a hoof. “I… wouldn’t characterize it as the *wrong* gender. From our perspective…”

“Is there a Rainbow Blitz and a Guilder there too?!”

“What? Er… of course. Rainbow Dash and Gilda.”

Blitz winked at Guilder. “Huh, can you imagine that? Two dudes that are every bit as awesome as we are, only they’re a mare and a chick?”

Guilder smirked. “Maybe we could tag along back to their bizarro world and double date or something. Find out just how awesome they are.”

Twilight twitched. “No! No more interdimensional relationships.”

Starlight cleared her throat loudly. “Er-hem Flash-cough, cough!”

“Nope!” said Twilight. “I’m not going to facilitate anyone dating their opposite gender clone from another universe!”

“Whatever,” said Guilder. “Dusky can send us. Or Eros… I bet he'd love that.”

Prince Dusk rubbed his chin with a hoof. “The thought of getting you two out of my mane for a few days is actually pretty tempting.”

Guilder did a double take. “Hey, now!”

Starlight grinned. “I kind of want to see how hard Gilda pecks them after they call her a chick.”

Twilight’s mane was getting seriously frazzled. “Thank you all so much for answering our questions about chess, but we have to be going. Now.” She flew back into the portal, dragging a protesting Starlight along in her magic.

The guys blinked, watching the portal flash and disappear. “What’s chess?” asked Rainbow Blitz.

“Never heard of it,” said Dusk Shine, moving a piece on the board with his magic. “Mailcolt to Party Pony seven. Your Queen is in check… friendship in three moves.”

Guilder squawked, throwing up his claws. “One of these days, smart pony! Someday, I’ll beat you at this game!”

Session 52.5 Kendell2

The group watched Rainbow and Rainbow discuss things and slowly looked to each other.

"..." Rarity sighed. "...Being out done in social situations by Rainbow Dash...I'm clearly doing something wrong..." she said, and trotted over to Chaos Rarity. "...So...darling...did you make that outfit yourself?"

Chaos Rarity nodded. "Yeah, I always make my own stuff. You?"

"Oh, the same! it's a point of pride of mine," Rarity replied. "There's nothing quite so thrilling as going out in a dress of your own design!"

"And seeing how ponies react?"

"And taking pride that they loved a thing made by your own hooves and horn?"

The two shared a smile. "Well, I'm more into less formal attire than dresses, but I get that feeling very very well," Chaos Rarity replied. "...So...you don't just give away everything we have?"

"No darling," Rarity replied. "I give to others if they need it. That is Generosity: giving when others need what you can give...And you're not all about yourself?"

"Nah, I want things and try to give them, but there's more to Desire than just wanting things," Chaos Rarity replied.

"How so, darling?"

"Desire is drive. I desire to progress and become better. I desire to create, and so on," the alternate Rarity explained.

"I see...I sincerely hadn't thought of it like that..."

Twilight gave a cautious look to her alternate self...but gave a sigh and trotted over to her. "...So...we...may have gotten off on the wrong hoof...Just..."

"I get it, dark magic is for 'bad guys'," Draconequus Twilight replied, seeming hurt. "I've heard it before...But...it's not for ME. It runs on emotions most ponies don't have trouble with, but I don't have that much trouble controlling them..."

"What do you mean?" Twilight asked, cocking her head.

"My brain runs a mile a minute," the Draconequi replied with a sigh. "If I don't focus, I just go from one thing to another...So controlling myself is just something I had to grow up learning...It's the stuff that comes 'easy' to most ponies I have trouble with...They just feel so boring, there's so many rules to read about and thing. It's just easier for me to 'think wildly' I guess..."

"I see..." said Twilight, now feeling guilty. "...I'm kind of the opposite...Studying? Things with lots of rules? I'm really good at that...that's my thing...but when it comes to Dark Magic like emotions...I have have trouble focusing it...when I get worried, I let it get out of hoof unless I calm down, I don't really have a good middle ground...the 'Smarypants Incident shows that'...When I get angry, it just burns out quick. The only time I really kept my anger up for a long time was fighting Tirek...Using Dark Magic makes my head hurt because I practically have to force myself to use it and keep it under control...So I guess we're the same, just backwards..."

Draconequus Twilight gave a small smile. "I guess we are."

Now that she wasn't fearful of her, Twilight noticed the animals actually composing her alternate self. Her right wing was an owl, her left a raven's. Her right hind leg was that of a rabbit while her left was a deer. Her right front leg was a cat's while her left front leg was a wolf's, while her tail was that of a dragon's.

Applejack watched her friends give their alternate selves a chance and sighed. She and Orangejack looked towards each other.

"...Look...ugh..." Applejack started, rubbing her head. "Ah just...tah meh Ah can't understand staying in Manehattan...It just felt like abandoning our family..."

Orangejack gave a gasp. "That's not it at all! I never abandoned our family. I stayed in Manehattan to HELP them."

Applejack cocked her head. "Pardon?"

"Aunt and Uncle Orange run a business, and I learned from them how to run one..." Orangejack explained. "I use it to help Sweet Apple Acres however I can...But...I do admit, I didn't get to see Apple Bloom grow up...our relationship really isn't as good as I would like because of that..."

"...That's why Ah went back...Ah felt like Ah belonged with mah Family..." Applejack replied. "Meh, Granny Smith, Big Mac, and Applebloom are thick as thieves..."

"...Must be nice..."

"Must be nice tah know what all that crazy paperwork..." Applejack replied. "...And Fantasy?"

"I admit, I will stretch the truth if it helps people," Orangejack replied. "But I would never hurt anypony with it. I only do it for a good reason...Though I admit, it does make some not trust me..."

"...And Ah hate lyin' with a passion. Ah never do it..." Applejack replied, rubbing her head. "But...there are times Ah've gotten in trouble because of it...Or wished Ah could...it ain't mah thing and Ah don't LIKE doin' it...but there are times Ah can see it bein' easier if Ah'd stretch it a bit...Ah just don't like it..."

"...You know, dear...Fantasy isn't just lying...it's making up stories for foals..."

"...Hehe...hadn't thought of that one...guess you have a point there..."

Session 52.6 Kendell2

"...And aren't Aunt and Uncle Orange family?" Orangejack asked her alternate self.

"Of course they are, but...they're rich. Ah just feel like Sweet Apple Acres needed meh more..." Applejack explained. "...Ah still write 'em."

"And I always wrote Granny Smith and company..."

"And that's how I helped us get passed Nightmare Moon's forest of terrifying trees!" Pinkie Pie explained.

Pinkamena chuckled. "That's kinda cool...I gave us a rousing speech on why being brave is doing what you're scared to do, and facing your fears."

"So we BOTH helped ponies face their fears! That's cool!" Pinkie replied.

As the two groups talked, the lights slowly came on and they found a guard now standing in front of the door. Which was naturally a giant game piece like every time Discord did this.

"Looks like those two got what they wanted..." Chaos Dash replied.

"Yeah...so how do we get out of here?" Rainbow prime asked.

Orangejack tapped her chin. "I've got an idea..." she said. "But I need you all to trust me, because it involves stretching the truth a tiny bit..." she said, then walked up to the guard. "Hello, sir. I have been thinking and I would like to jump ship and play for the winning team, if you don't mind. Grogar is clearly the right choice and I would be foolish to oppose him."

"What?!" asked Rainbow Dash prime. To her surprise APPLEJACK shushed her.

"Roll a charisma check," said Accord's voice as some dice formed in Orangejack's hoof. She did the roll and, combined with her high charisma stat (an important one for any bard worth her salt) winning out easily.

"The guard believes you and opens the door," said Accord's voice.

"Come on, we'll talk to the boss..." said the guard, turning and leading her out.

Orangejack moved and looked back, motioning with her tail.

"I pull back my bow and aim for the guard," said Chaos Rainbow,

"Do the attack roll," replied Accord's voice.

Chaos Rainbow did so and successfully got the roll. She pulled back her bow and cocked an arrow, aiming and firing.

"Your arrow rings through the air..."

The guard fell to the ground and 'poofed' into a treasure bag.

"And strikes the guard in the head, felling the enemy."

"Okay...Ah see yer point...don't like it, couldn't do it, but Ah see it," said Applejack.

"And I see yours...trust me, I've lost enough trust to know the price of lying in the wrong situations," Orangejack replied.

"We might want to let Pinkamena and my Dash take point," said Twilight. "They're the most tanky."

"But my Rarity's Dexterity Stat is the highest, so she's got the best evasion and speed," Draconequus Twilight replied. "And she's the stealthiest."

"Good point...hmm...Dash and your Rarity? that way if they hit trouble she's got her to back her up."

"Good idea!"

Session 52.7 Ardashir

(OOC: A scene that would have worked better when everyone was in the cell in :iconkendell2:'s arc, but if everyone is willing...)

The Mane Six and Chaos Six all froze as they heard someone at their cell door. The Dashes and Harmony Applejack prepared to dive on their visitor. When it opened to reveal a hulking Diamond Dog in robes along with several guards, they snorted in disgust.

"Looks like Accord came up with a roleplaying scene," Orangejack said. She looked at the others. "He thinks he's a great writer of drama."

"Greeting, invaders," the Diamond Dog said his voice lacking the usual guttural growl of his species. "I am the one Master Grogar, may his coat never thin, sends to deal with uninvited guests. He has decided how to deal with you."

The ponies looked at each other warily.

"Okay," Rainbow Dash said, "what's old goat-face want?"

The guards snarled at her insolence. Dash smirked.

"Master Grogar, may his horns never need trimming, will use the unicorns as slave spell-casters once he controls their minds." The Diamond Dog smiled at the Twilights and the Rarities. "Rejoice, inferior creatures! Your lives will at last have value as you assist the only rightful ruler of all Tambelon."

The Twilights snorted, and the Rarities looked horrified.

"Hey, what about the rest of us?" Chaos Dash said. "He'd better not think we'll be serving that jerk!"

"As for you? Well..." The ponies stepped back as he reached up one voluminous sleeve ad whipped out a knife with a blade as long as his forearm. "The Master's monsters need to be fed."

Several loud gulps came from the ponies.

"Isn't that going to be painful?" Fluttershy almost squeaked out.

"What? Oh, no!" The ponies began to relax as the Diamond Dog spoke in an almost friendly tone. "I've disposed of thousands of intruders, and I assure you, I've never felt a thing." He turned and left, the guards following him out. He stopped at the door long enough to say, "But thank you for your concern. I'm quite touched." The cell door closed behind him and they left.

The ponies relaxed.

"That's a relief. I was kinda worried for a moment, but anyway -- WHAT THE BUCK AM I SAYING?!?" Dash yelled. She raced to the cell door and tried pounding on it, Chaos Dash, Chaos Pinkie, and Applejack right beside her. "We gotta get outta here! I ain't ending up as some monster's appetizer!"

"At least he was polite," Rarity blinked as her friends stared at her in disbelief. "What? He may be the murderous servant of a brutal tyrant, but at least he has class."

Session 52.8 QuartzScale

Another night of muffin-y goodness once again graced the Derpy household. Her guests were special that night in particular. Bon Bon had once again made her reappearance while Twilight and Pinkie Pie joined them. It was quite the treat since having a princess in her home was something she thought she would never see in her life. Except for the one time when Luna accidentally came and for some reason they had run out of double chocolate chip muffins which mysteriously disappeared that day.

Elsewhere…

“Huzzah!” Luna jumped into a large pile of double chocolate chip muffins scarfing a few as she fell into chocolate bliss.

“That dear mail pony was on to something with these muffins.” Celestia looked in to the room seeing all the sweets only for Luna to grab her in her
telekinetic field and place her outside the door with the ‘Do not disturb’ sign on her door.

“But chocolate…” Celestia scratched absentmindedly at the door.

Back in Derpy’s home…

Derpy didn’t know why but she felt as though she had missed a flashback that explained everything. Meanwhile there was only one muffin left and before Pinkie could say anything the muffin button was pressed. Pinkie instantly knew what was going on as Bon Bon was wearing her trademarked blue suit red tie combo.

Pinkie wasted no time getting into the spirit of things. ‘Hey I made a pun on who I’m playing.’

Pinkie stop breaking the fourth wall.

“Okay… for now.” Smiling she donned a purple kimono and grabbed a pile of rock candy to act as a bead necklace while on the end of it was a green magatama she also wore a white shawl around her and tied up her hair in a top bun to make her looked more fortune teller-y.

Pinkie you’re a spirit medium.

“Okie Doki Loki narrator.” She answered.

Derpy and Bon Bon just stared at Pinkie. Bon Bon was just repressing it while Derpy was confused that she hadn’t really been affected by the muffin button. Then a note materialized in front of her.

From Discord.

Muffin button doesn’t work on truly chaotic ponies. Beware the pink puff and I’m not just talking Fluffle Puff.

Utterly confused they turned to Twilight who did come under the effects of the muffin button. She couldn’t be easier to mind control. ‘Why don’t they have resistance to mind control yet?’ Derpy thought to herself.

“Who would like the last muffin?” Derpy asked.

“Me.” Both Ponies answered while Pinkie remained silent for some reason. She looked around and realized that Derpy had more muffins in the oven and
decided to play along with this cause it seemed like good fun.

Thank Celestia…

“Don’t worry Mr. Narrator I’m just gonna watch this play out for my master plan.” Pinkie deviously rubbed her hooves together and waited.
Twilight finally finished changing from the long costume shift. She was wearing a fancy white suit with golden trim alongside everything she had. A white shawl was floating around her but wasn’t being held up with magic and a small tetrahedral ruby was on her forehead. She began her opening statements.

“That muffin should belong to me. The divine spirits of the ancient pony civilization of Ach-tchoo beckon me to answer in their name.” A string of beads floated out in front of Twilight. “Believe in my spiritual advisors they know what they are talking about.”

OBJECTION!

“This pony don’t believe in that bunch of horseapples. I’m a simple baker and I know you don’t need anymore muffins at this point Twilight. Lest you forget I did help Pinkie make a lot of the sweets you guys eat during game night from time to time. I know you haven’t been running or exercising much.”

OBJECTION!!

“I’ve just been busy I can lose the weight. It’s on my list see!.” Twilight quickly tried to save face in the face of surmounting evidence.

TAKE THAT!

Bon Bon looked at the list. Then she looked at Pinkie.

“Pinkie can you summon up one of these spirits so we can talk to them?” Bon Bon felt like it was something that Pinkie could do.

Derpy not wanting to have her house devalued because of hauntings quickly pressed the muffin button and brought out the other muffins from the oven.

“Aww… I couldn’t pull off my master plan…” Pinkie pouted only for the other ponies to stare incredulously at the pink party pony.

“What were you going to do?”Everypony asked.

“Pull the authors in to throw them a party. All of them.” Pinkie smiled widely while everypony else just stared at her. This was real life not some story. Derpy smiled while she hid the muffin button back in her tail and enjoyed the newly bake muffins while the rest of the ponies made more small talk about the days ahead.

To this day all the authors didn't know just how close they had escaped fate that day. All thanks to a tiny grey mail pony with a lazy eye and the hero she was that day.

Session 52.9 QuartzScale

Applebloom, who was now a zebra, trotted into the hut within the enchanted comic making her way down to the bubbling cauldron where Zecora was sitting by. Looking up the zebra mare waved towards Bloom to come closer.

“Welcome there little Bloom, to this my enchanted room. From times of the past we must go fast. The time changers plot and their mind all will rot. A zebra you’ve chosen to be might I know why you’ve chosen me?” Zecora almost chanted out the following.

“Well, ah reckon I just like to get to know you more, your life can hardly be called a bore. I’ve made my choice for what I shall try and now I don’t want mah comrades to die. I know about potions and brews and other styles but now I’m left all with just a small file. These actions I pull will bring about blight and I must know about mah might. There is plenty to do and more to act now I just need to find mah tact.” Applebloom replied in a sing song tone.

“I see you have come to the right place and I know what to get to make your case. I have taught you before about the thing I do and now those time changers will come to rue. You know of concoctions and many of my potions now to teach you explosive brews and mysterious lotions. Each will have a perfect effect and what will happen to those they affect.” Zecora responded.

“I see what you’re saying and know what you’re trying, as long as this goes I’ll keep’em from dying. The brews that I know are meager tricks but at least I’m not just throwing bricks. Those time changers are quite mean can I know something to turn them all green.” Bloom smiled away at the thought of turning them green with sickness to stop their evil.

“Perhaps we can but the lessons come first for knowledge I hope you do thirst. This particular potion is one of a kind and will bring about an utterly calm mind. This other one in the shiny red will bring your enemies full of dread. The orange I have will make things fast I’m sure it will be just a blast. Now I must show you the proper procedure so you will now fall to a sudden seizure. This plant in particular is quite deadly and will bring about a certain medley. The song of my people can be heard through the brew and trouble it brings to those it drew. A sudden shift of the hoof is all it takes and the potion will be all it makes. I will teach you some more and you shall learn what to do, and there is more to show to make them go too. Time is an enigma and uncertain direction which is why the planet has chose through natural selection. Now Applebloom let us not tarry, for now is the time make oneself merry.” Zecora walked out of the room issuing the young mare turned zebra to follow after her.

The entire session of potion making was extremely well paced and through concepts to Applebloom that she had never known before. The constant challenge made her Apple blood yearn to be the best. Then she noticed that maybe potions was not all that she could do.

“Zecora Ah was wonderin if you’ll be able, to make me fight beyond my label. Applebucking is all and good but I think I’ll need more when Ah’m in the mood. I know how to fight I was taught by the best but I just don’t think I’m up to the test.” Bloom’s ears slightly folded down. Zecora rubbed her chin in thought.

“I suppose I could teach you how to fight but I don’t know if you will feel right. A zebra is born to be quite flexible and these moves are not quite as accessible. Watch the movements of my hoof and you just might knock off the roof.” Zecora took a stance actually standing on her back legs staring down at Applebloom showing a fire in her eyes which made her shrink from the intimidation.
Then she quickly starting flipping and kicking with her hind legs showcasing a wondrous dance she had only heard about when Lyra had talked about human fighting styles. She had called it capoeira and it focused on kicking strength over front hoof strength The intricates arcs of her kicks and the sudden punch from her front hooves made Applebloom gape at the sudden act.

“I wonder if I could stand like you, I just don’t know what to do. Allow me to try and copy your style and I hope it won’t take more than a while.” Applebloom began to practice standing on her back hooves which she found somewhat easier than she thought it would be. Even Lyra had trouble showcasing the strange walking that other bipedal creatures had without a powerful tail to keep balance. Still she could only manage to stand for a total of two minutes before gravity took control.

“Do not worry about it much Bloom, it certainly won’t lead to your doom. This style of fighting takes effort and time unlike the way that I constantly rhyme. With the prowess of your spoken word I know you can do this and thinking another way is mostly absurd. I shall teach you the beginner’s course which will make you a powerful force. Should you meet any deer on your trip work together for a beneficial relationship. The potions you make will come to good use, though none will become a gamebreaker abuse. I’m sorry to say that there is no short cut but don’t worry about being in a rut. I shall make you great that is no debate. Let us continue your lesson though the work just won’t lessen.” Zecora keep Applebloom on her tippy hooves as the lessons grew more intense for their eventual battle against the time changers.

Session 52.10 Alex Warlorn, warning, spoilers for Guardian of Harmony compilation

SPOILERS FOR GUARDIANS OF HARMONY COMPILATION THAT CAME OUT TODAY! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!

"So... to recap... Chrysalis took the Winter Court, a catch all name for the changelings' exiles and criminals, legendary among changelings for having countless wannabees who thought they could be top of the heap and being all greedy back stabbers couldn't work together if they TRIED... and whipped them into a military force large enough to attack to attack Ponyville, the Crystal Empire, and Canterlot, all at the same time?" Windy Whisper asked.

"Yep!" Spike said proudly. "And I got to be a giant dragon with my wits intact in really cool armor and I fought off an entire changeling army!"

"And we got super cool magical battle armor!" Rainbow Dash cheered. "With Twilight's can see though changeling illusions!"

"I still find it creepy this castle is GROWING new parts, and toys whenever it was needed." Starlight said, he had been busy with Trixie.

"I got attacked by ponies thinking I was an invader because I'm not rainbow sludge colored, and changelings chanting 'death to the traitor,' " Kevin said.

"And I got to epically fight along Cheese Sandwich with duel party canon action!" Pinkie Pie said proudly.

"And I got to beat two changelings pretending to be Shadowbolts," RD added.

"So that's where you were." Spitfire said, "Well, we tested the Sonic Glider packs, they didn't blow up, and got us to Crystal Empire as fast as your Sonic Rainboom, Rainbow Crash. Those beauties are gonna be useful from now on."

"Meh, I still don't need some gizmo to go faster than sound."

Princess Luna herself read over the report. "While it's wise that Cadence insisted that Shining Armor follow orders to hold the crystal castle, and he showed initiative by looking through the library for any kind of help the old castle night hold, and thinking to check the princess' old lab... I must say Princess Amore's security measure would have prevented somepony like Sombra from entering... it held much to be desired."

"It worked out fine from what I felt," Spike said.

"Yes, but remember, finding Fluttershy randomly in a place she shouldn't have been? While changelings were invading? Shining Armor should have tried to make sure it was the REAL Fluttershy, even if it was construct created from his mind that only knew what he knew about her. More to the point, Amore shouldn't have had the illusion WANTING to sacrifice itself for the greater good of the Crystal Empire. Then it was 'Fluttershy's' sacrifice to make. Shining Armor makes a good prince, but a poor general. Sun Fuzz himself said that the five weaknesses of a general are hot-headedness, cowardice, recklessness, an over-fixation on honor, AND being TOO concerned over the fate of one's own troops. If one tries to make sure one never loses anything, then one will often lose everything."

+++

"I reached for everything! How could I lose it all instead?" Queen Chrysalis whined from her moth eaten bed in her 'royal bed chamber' in the rundown, drafty and leaky castle her meager swarmed had been holed up in since her dethroning. The Queen had been drinking. It wasn't rat infested anymore, her son's hunger had taken care of that.

Pupa was crying in the corner. Her son was hiding under his bed.

Her eldest daughter, wanting to stay in her mother's good graces, said nothing.

Locust, wanting to make his queen feel better said, "Well, at least you made them work really really hard for-"

Chrysalis' voice took on a demonic tone. "IF YOU SAY I SHOULD FEEL GOOD BECAUSE I GAVE THEM A RUN FOR THEIR MONEY I'LL RIP YOUR THROAT OUT! I DON'T BUCKING WANT 'ALMOSTS' and 'OH YOU DID YOUR BEST!' I should be ruling Equestria by now! I WANT TO WIN!!!! I DEMAND TO GET WHAT I DESERVE!" Naturally this was when one of the large stone blocks from the ceiling came loose and squashed the queen like a bug, leaving her legs sticking out at odd angles.

The former queen squeezed from underneath like a cockroach would.

She took her son's confiscated Joyboy and turned it on, enacted all the cheat coats, turned the gore up to maximum, and began slaughtering virtual ponies in a virtual Manehatten left and right.

Session 52.11 Mtangalion

“Okay!” said Fluttershy brightly, clasping her hands. “Is everyone settled in for the evening? Mr. Fluffykins?”

A pair of raccoons chittered on the carpet, waving nimble paws all about.

“Oh, I know,” said Fluttershy, genuinely sympathetic, “but if mom sees you in the kitchen again, she might really be upset. I’ll just have to get you some cereal in the morning.”

Angel Bunny chittered, pointing at his food bowl.

“There’s nothing wrong with your regular bunny food,” Fluttershy chided him.

Angel frowned and pointed again, stamping his paw expectantly.

“Honestly!” Fluttershy sighed, running slim fingers over the crystal pendant around her neck. “Being able to talk to my animal friends would save me so much time, if you weren’t always so fussy!” She smiled and scratched Angel’s ears, which seemed to mollify him, for now.

A large gray tabby meowed, not moving from her warm spot on the bed.

“Thank you!” said Fluttershy brightly. “Yes, now I can finally log in and play!” She slid into her desk chair, typing her World of Horsecraft password by muscle memory. She almost reached for her headset and microphone too… she was getting better at that, really she was, but voice chat still made her nervous.

“Let’s see what’s going on today,” she said to herself, as her pegasus druid Flutter Nice awoke and trotted out of the Ponyville Inn. She clicked on the adventurers’ notice board and gasped. “Oh my!”

“Special event quest!” proclaimed a notice off to one side of the board. “Today only, earn the Starkitten pet.” Fluttershy clicked her mouse, and Flutter Nice tapped the notice with a butter-yellow hoof, and the magical picture of the Starkitten meowed, purring through her speakers.

“I have to get that pet!” proclaimed Fluttershy, but then she saw the rest of the notice.

Quest requirement: Defeat Umbrum Archfiend Penumbra on Champion difficulty. *Champion* difficulty. A dungeon end-boss. This was…

Fluttershy gulped, shrinking back from her monitor. “Oh no, it’s a group quest!”

The raccoons climbed up on her desk and nuzzled her. Angel Bunny helped in his own way by rolling his eyes and pointing at the headset.

Fluttershy took a deep breath. “You’re right! My friends can help me.” She clicked, bringing up the [Elements of Harmony] guild group chat. Since they were all on each other’s friend lists, the channel displayed their account names, instead of the names of the characters they happened to be logged into.

(Fluttershy): Um, excuse me...
(Rainbow): Oh, hey Fluttershy!

Fluttershy clasped her hands nervously, until she remembered that it was just text, and her friends couldn’t actually see her.

(Fluttershy): So, would anyone like to run a dungeon? There’s a quest that I’d really like to complete, if you’re not too busy...
(Rainbow): Maybe later. Right now I have to farm these runecloth bandages. Only 200K more for our server to open the gates of the Crystal Palace! That and the 150K crystal trout, the 175K healing potions, not to mention…
(Starlight): You did see the part about it being a server-wide effort, didn’t you? By my count, you’ve already done much more than your fair share.
(Rarity): Rainbow just wants to farm more than Gilda so she can brag about it, darling.
(Rainbow): What? No I don’t!

Fluttershy blushed, then started typing again.

(Fluttershy): Um, but, my quest… I really don’t want to bother anyone else, but it is kind of only available today…
(Twilight): Well, we can’t really form a party right now without some pugs. We’d need a tank. Maybe when my brother logs on.
(Fluttershy): Okay, I guess I can wait! I’ll just… um, do some other quests in the meantime!

Fluttershy did one set of daily quests, some simple tasks that wouldn’t take too long. She kept glancing back over at the chat window and then at the clock while she did the second set. “Maybe I should start my own dungeon group,” she mused. “Or see if there’s another one already forming!”

She guided the mouse cursor over towards the Group Finder button, but broke into a cold sweat before she even reached it. “All those strangers, judging me… what if my gear score isn’t good enough for them? Or they say I’m no good at playing my druid!? I’ll just wait until my friends are ready!”

She was going through a third daily quest hub, righting wrongs for pocket change and the occasional pair of magic pants, when she heard a tapping at her window, and saw two robins fluttering around, chirping urgently. “Your hatchling did what? Wait right there!” Fluttershy grabbed her shoes and headed out without another thought.

When she returned not ten minutes later, her eyes went immediately to the guild chat window… and froze.

(Gilda): Yo, Hall of Shadows run! Who’s in?
(Dash): Invite me!
(Applejack): I’ve got time.
(Spike): Sounds like fun!
(Shining): I just got home, I can tank!
(Gilda): Awesome, we have a group!

Fluttershy sat down heavily. “But… the Starkitten!” She clenched her fists. “I waited all that time... and I don’t want to make them feel bad by complaining...” Something flashed in her eyes. “But... I’m just so… so… FRUSTRATED!”

She didn’t notice the magic sizzling and sparking from her pendant, racing down her arms into the keyboard, and then through the wires and her modem. On the monitor, Flutter Nice reared up and began to *change*.

All druids in World of Horsecraft could transform into different animal shapes, even healing druids who normally stayed in pony form, but Fluttershy rarely did that, outside of private instances. When you thought about it, those fierce fighting cats and fast flying hawks wore only decorative bangles, so effectively, Flutter Nice in animal form was romping around with *no clothes on*. Now, though, Flutter Nice vanished in a puff of smoke, replaced by the druid tanking form, a big fearsome bear.

Then the bear bellowed out a roar, startling players all over Ponyville. Her eyes blazed red, and she began to *grow*. Those decorative bangles and straps creaked, tearing and bursting apart from Flutter Nice’s increasing size and strength, until the game suddenly seemed to remember that clothes were supposed to magically fit creatures of any size or shape. A whole different, more savage harness materialized, befitting Flutter Nice’s new shape, the *Dire Bear* form which had very definitely been removed early in the Wrath of the Crystal King beta, before it ever went live.

Fluttershy grinned sharply, and Flutter Nice mirrored her expression, baring dagger-like fangs. She grabbed her headset and activated the public voice chat built into the game. “Group Finder? Who needs that? I’ll form a party in General Chat!”

Flutter Nice stormed into Ponyville, big as a carriage and shaking the ground with every stamp of her paws. “LFG Amore’s Tomb Champion mode! Need 3 DPS 1 Healer. I’ll tank!” She turned her head, staring down at cowering ponies. “Are you game, or are you LAME!?”

A Diamond Wolf shadowmage sat up and took notice. “I will go!”

“You look strong,” rumbled a Yak warrior, looking up to her. “Let’s go smash shadow things together!”

“This could be fun,” mused a grinning griffon hunter. “Okay, I’ll join too. I’ll be ready in just a few minutes, gotta empty my bags and…”

Flutter Nice smacked a metal signpost with a forepaw, dragging her claws down it to make an unholy shriek. “You’re ready now, mister!”

The griffon yelped, shedding feathers as he jumped to hide behind the yak. “Heh heh... what she said!”

“Fluttershy?” asked a familiar voice, none other than Flash Sentry, having to fly just to be at eye level with her. The pegasus wore green monk armor which clashed unfortunately with his orange coat. “Holy buck, what happened to you?”

Flutter Nice swiveled her head, fixing him with her stare. “You. You’re a monk. Monks can heal!”

Flash backed off. “Whoa, now… I only got this character to max level just yesterday, so I don’t think I’m quite ready for Champion mode…”

“Take my invite,” growled the giant bear impatiently, “or I’ll take a bite!” The three already recruited DPS joined in, giving him tough-guy expressions.

“Gah!” Flash blinked. “Wait, why am I scared? It’s just a video game…”

Flutter Nice ROARED.

“Party invite accepted! Please don’t hurt me!”

The party teleported in at the meeting stone near the Tomb, and Flutter Nice didn’t waste a moment on inspiring speeches or strategy. Somehow, the massive bear smashed through the dungeon entrance, widening the front door instead of getting stuck or clipping through.

Flash Sentry winced, flying after her. “I’m pretty sure this game isn’t supposed to work like that. Hey!” The others were shouldering him aside in their eagerness to get at the monsters and loot inside. “Come on, guys!”

Flutter Nice charged at the first pack of Umbrum drudges, swiping left and right to get their attention, and just when Flash was about to cast his first heal, she took off running again, around a corner out of his line of sight. “Move it, pup! Try and KEEP UP!”

“Are you kidding me?!” shouted Flash, chasing after her.

“Alisa is not pup,” grumbled the shadowmage, blinking across several rooms to catch up, then firing a great volley of darkbolts. Some of them smacked into a colony of tiny but vicious fire drakes, who promptly aggroed and swarmed everywhere.

“Many whelps!” bellowed Flutter Nice. “Now! Handle it!” She never stopped moving, and soon the party plowed right into the first boss, an angry and rather confused Umbrum Taskmaster. “Hit it like you mean it!”

Then the boss started throwing out patches of flaming oil. One of them landed right under the griffon hunter, but he kept firing arrow after arrow, not even noticing that he was on fire. Flutter gasped, then snarled. “If you stand in the fire, you’ll draw my IRE!” Luckily, the force of her bellow knocked the griffon right *out* of the blaze.

Halfway to the second boss, Flash slumped to the floor, panting. “I told you, I can’t keep this up! I have to drink and recover mana!”

Flutter Nice snorted, blowing Flash’s mane back with her hot, foul breath. “You’re a monk, aren’t you? Just punch more heals out of those jerks!”

“Okay, I *know* this game doesn’t work like that!” complained Flash, but Flutter Nice grinned wickedly and moved aside, letting an Umbrum berserker charge right at the pegasus. Flash cringed and thrust his forehooves in a blind panic, punching the Umbrum right into a wall… and green sparkles flew to the bear, healing her up with big round green numbers.

“Okay, what just happened?” deadpanned Flash. He glanced at another Umbrum, who seemed just as confused, and then he laid into him, beating the stuffing out of the monster. Tiger paw, Blackout Kick… Rising Sun Kick! The Umbrum went flying, and the whole party got healed up. Flash started laughing. “That… was kind of awesome. I’m awesome!” He charged into the next pack, shoulder to shoulder with the others.

“Hah, hah!” shouted the yak warrior, swinging his axe in a two-hooved grip. “Best party ever!”

The next time = Elements of Harmony = met in game, Flash Sentry was pacing around the room in shiny new epic armor, shadow boxing, while most of the others were struggling to pick their jaws up off the table, because Flutter Nice was still a massive bear taking up half of their round table. She seemed a lot calmer now, though, with the Starkitten napping on top of her head and purring away.

“So… that happened,” she was saying. “We completed the quest, broke the record time for the dungeon, and everyone in the group invited me to their friend list! I might be just a little bit stuck in this form…” The bear blushed. “But at least I can tank for the guild while the GMs are figuring out what happened… if that’s okay with everypony!”

Faithful Student twitched. “No offense, but how are you not banned for hacking right now?”

“Hacking a game with magic?” asked Rainbow’s character. “Is that a thing now?”

Gilda’s character leaned towards Dash’s. “Griffons can be druids, right? BRB, rolling a new alt.”

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (update already)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 52.0 Kendell2
Session 52.1 Ardashir
Session 52.2 Alex Warlorn
Session 52.3 Kendell2
Session 52.4 Mtangalion
Session 52.5 Kendell2
Session 52.6 Kendell2
Session 52.7 Ardashir
Session 52.8 QuartzScale
Session 52.9 QuartzScale
Session 52.10 Alex Warlorn, warning, spoilers for Guardian of Harmony compilation
Session 52.11 Mtangalion
Session 52.12 QuartzScale

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Cover art by DinoDraketakethecake

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Session 53

Session 53.0 QuartzScale

CEO Sombra stood at his desk awaiting his meeting with the two people Hope had found to play a role in the new expansion. There were several steps to take and he wanted to make sure that the others would be ready for necessary activities. Hope stood to his side reading over the contracts she had helped write up with Discord and Chrysalis. Needless to say she made sure the trolling was put to a minimum and there were no sadistic clauses. Hope really wanted them to say yes. Though she had an ulterior motive for her actions, one that Sombra didn't even know about. The pressure in her stomach was a bit uncomfortable but she enjoyed that her family would finally start.

"Honey it looks like the two are here now. Are you ready to wow them?" Hope sweetly spoke up hugging her husband and he merely nodded in affirmative. He had been toning down his sometimes controlling aspects with his employees the entire morning and Hope was glad he was taking this so seriously. With nary a word Hope opened the door revealing both Sunset Shimmer and Pony Twilight Sparkle though no one would be the wiser.

"Welcome ladies. Please take a seat and I'll explain why we wanted to meet with you two." Sombra spoke passively and in the warmest tones he usually saved only when he was talking to Hope. He needed to be charismatic and his victory over Rabia only made him more confident than ever.
The two girls took a seat. While Sunset seemed calm and collected Twilight was fidgeting and nervously looking at Sombra.

"Something wrong Miss Sparkle?" Sombra questioned the nervous lady who merely shook her head. Sombra frowned but the smile on Twilight's face lessened his worry.

‘Remember Twilight this is not King Sombra. He's not an evil overlord who puts ponies into slavery. This is President Sombra the leader of the willing employees of Crystal Soft. Don't freak out. Don't freak out...' Twilight was now sweating bullets but a smack across her arm from Sunset made her forget her worry and replace it with anger. ‘At least I'll be calm.'

"Well ladies I would like to know if you know why we called you in?" Sombra smiled at the two while the question hung in the air.

"Uh... You wanted to ask us about the incident with the hacker?" Sunset honsetly chimed in still unsure of the meeting. The email she got only said that she and REAL_Princess were requested by President Sombra for a meeting.

"You want a review of Crystals and Rainbows? I really like how much stress it pulls away from me" Twilight managed to speak up.

"Perhaps for my wife later. But, no, that's not why you two were called in. How much do you know about the development cycle for an MMO ladies?" Sombra asked once again the fire in his voice seemed to go into the beginnings of a spiel.

The two girls shook their head. While they knew about the developments for O&O games the digital process was above their level. At least for now it was in Twilight's case.

"Here's the main point and I think you'll like it. We need two people to join us for our next expansion which we will reveal more of during the next Crystal Con. And I think that those two people... could be you two." Sombra laid his cards on the table leaving two very stunned girls before him.

"U-u-u-us! Wh-wh-what do you mean?" Twilight sputtered out. Sunset merely nodded in agreement unable to truly articulate her thoughts which wanted to squee aloud. Hope spoke up.

"Well I noticed you two girls have been doing really well during your entire career within World of Horsecraft and you have both lead your groups to victory many times including against a certain hacker group which has already been taken care of. So why not extend that kindness to the two of you for all your hard work." Hope answered but Twilight noticed that she held back everything she wanted to say.

"Um... sure I guess we can agree to that. What do you need us to do?" Sunset answered for the two of them. Excitement was pushing her forward that she missed the cue Twilight had noticed.

"We want to make pony avatars for the two of you to use in the next expansion. You'll be playing big roles in the next one and we'll cover the details in a few days if that's fine with you. If you need legal to look over things I can get our company lawyer Tirek to come over and look over the contracts." Sombra finished only to notice that Twilight was pale beyond all belief.

"Something wrong Miss Sparkle?"

"No nothing at all. Just what can you tell me about Tirek?" Twilight stumbled out while keeping her eyes glued on Sombra.

"He's our company lawyer. He helped put away my crazy mother. You know the one who made games like Everfree Massacre or Crystal High Shootout. Can't have someone that dangerous out on the loose now, can we?" Sombra chuckled and Twilight really wanted to faint but she held it together
enough not to be swayed by the floor. It looked really inviting.

"Sombra do you mind if I finish up the interview. I know Discord wanted to talk to you about the three things he wanted to add to the game." Hope hinted at her husband while the two appeared to give her their undivided attention. They really wanted to know what they were going to add to the game.

"Ah you're right dear. I'm sure you two want to know but until that contract is signed and we know you're not going to tell all your friends I'm sorry to say that the secret stays with us to the grave." Chuckling all the way, Sombra stepped out of the office allowing Hope to take over for the meeting.

"Well here we are. Alone at last." Hope spoke as she took Sombra's chair and stared down the two girls. Both of them realized just how piercing her eyes could be and the crystal like shine coming off her made the two realize that she was much prettier than they noticed.

"Can we see the contracts?" Twilight mumbled out as Hope handed them both a copy. Looking over they noticed a lot of stipulations for breakage of the contract including a lot of non disclosure terms. Both the girls eye's widened at the bit rate. A lot of zeroes were coming out of their pocket should they speak or tell anyone. With a bit of reluctance both girls signed allowing them to be part of the Crystal Soft family in a sense.

"Now I have a question for the both of you. I would prefer you answer honestly as you can for what I'm about to ask. I won't be mad either." Hope spoke in a completely serious tone.

"Um... ok." Both Sunset and Twilight answered feeling somewhat nervous now at the prospect of the question.

"How did you two know about Crystals and Rainbows before it was released? We have monitoring on the beta versions so I overheard something you two said." She looked towards Sunset.

"You mentioned Unicornia as if it were a real place and that it was a kingdom some three hundred years ago. That was the lore bits I worked on a while back." Then she looked at Twilight who almost appeared more pale than when the mention of Tirek came about.

"You mentioned that you already made a character like you have in game like this game had a physical board to play out there even though the first and only mention of it in the entire world in this software that we developed." As she finished the words both Sunset and Twilight were gaping like fish, or deer caught in headlights. Then they both promptly passed out from shock.

"Huh... I didn't think it would be that hard to answer my questions. They're probably not hackers either since they stopped that other one. Maybe strange minds think alike. I'll have to talk to Megan later and tell her that our ideas were a success. Hopefully Sombra and I can go visit the farm soon."

Session 53.1 Kendell2

"Daddy?" asked the tiny Screwball program on Human Discord's desktop. "I looked at the Dire Bear thingie."

Discord nodded, typing 'And what did you find' in a program he made specifically to communicate with the AI after she became self aware.

"It's something that isn't supposed to be there and was triggered by...something...but it isn't hacking! There's no altering of the code! It just kinda...activated!" Screwball replied, looking very confused.

Discord tapped his chin. 'Hmm...My dear, I do believe that is a glitch!'

Screwball cocked her head. "A glitch?"

'Remember how I programmed you to stop ponies from using 'chaos' in World of Horsecraft,' Discord typed.

"Yeah."

'Well glitches are different. They're NATURAL chaos! Little abnormalities in the game code! Some are bad, some are good, and some are just hilarious! In fact, my dear, you were born from an act of pure glitching chaos!...And my boredom.'

"Oh! Yay glitches!"

'I'll handle it, dear. Go play in Rainbows and Crystals.'

"Yay!" the little AI shouted, trotting up the screen and 'clicking' the game icon, vanishing from the desktop with a ding.

Discord chuckled. "On one hand, I've created a truly sapient AI. On the other...I have no idea how I did it and can probably never replicate it."

Screwball appeared in the life sim world at her house. Her 'daddy' had given her an account and an avatar, though from her perspective the game was always in first person mode and she 'felt' everything around her. Unlike World of Horsecraft, she didn't have admin privileges and was just another player, but it was fun!

Especially when the game physics allowed her house to completely defy the laws of physics and be a chaotic mess! Of course the AI didn't know WHAT laws of physics WERE, but she wouldn't have cared if she did.

Session 53.2 QuartzScale

"So are we ready for the fight girls?" Pony Twilight asked as her and the Human Seven readied their characters for a big fight. They had just finished fighting the pony version of Principal Cinch as she sacrificed herself to awaken Sombra from the frozen glacier. Now he was held up within the chamber of the Crystal Heart. He had managed to steal it back during a cutscene where they could only watch as the shadows dragged it away.

"Roger."

"Ayup."

"I think I have all my potions ready...ooh I wish I had managed to still be a bear for this." Fluttershy cringed after they managed to free her character from the change.

"Don't worry too much about it Fluttershy. Can't make this too easy especially when we are totally awesome!" Dash yelled out causing Fluttershy to yelp in surprise.

"Now girls we need to be careful. Remember how much trouble it was just to get to the heart in the first place." Sunset spoke up. They all cringed at the mention of it. Somehow the traps within the game were scarily accurate. Pony Twilight had been the most freaked out when she mentioned seeing a room filled with nothing but quesadillas. Seems the trapped door filled with dark magic had done wonders to them. It wasn't as bad as the staircase that flipped gravity or the trap boss fight against Cinch within the ever shrinking crystal arena. It had been frustrating but they had succeeded in making it to the end. The first group to actually make it with the special quest done.

"Let's head in-" Before they could keep going through the next room they saw Radiant Hope standing nearby waiting by a save crystal.

"Welcome Heroes. I decided perhaps I should join you for this. I can't always rely on others to handle my burdens on their own. Maybe... Maybe I could reach him if I'm there as well." She spoke in a reverent tone causing a few of the more sentimental of the group to sniff in sympathy. Dash wasn't one of them.

"I don't know about this..." Dash spoke up. The entirety of the Changeling invasion had made her jumpy since a lot of the problems of the fight was that every quest could be sabotaged at any moment.

"Dash she's not a changeling. Remember they don't spawn within the Crystal Castle because of all the Umbrum soldiers. Besides she's a healer and we don't know if we'll be able to keep up with the healing. Remember what happened when we faced Discord." Sci Twi spoke up. She had remembered how long the fight had gone on. It had taken so many deaths just to even put a scratch on him. Then the farming on his nightmare mode form had been insane as well.

"Fine."

"Shall we go heroes. I'm worried what will happen but... I know that something will pass when this day is over." Radiant spoke as she trotted over to the group and allied with them following their lead like most NPC's. Both the Shining Armor and Cadence NPC's had stayed put near the Chrysalis boss fight most likely because they were needed there. The few info leaks of those who had tried to fight Sombra already never mentioned anything about the Radiant Hope NPC appearing before the fight. Steeling themselves they stepped through the threshold.

=Chrono Trigger OST Magus Confronted=

The party stood at the edge while the cutscene played out. Sombra stood with his back to the ponies staring into the Crystal Heart on the pedestal. His eyes burned with dark magic yet his face was anything more than lethargic. His eyes showed disinterest before his voice spoke up. It was rough and cold and devoid of any hope.

"I remember my time within this land... Only one friend who stood by my side. With ponies expounding on the concepts of friendship and tolerance. What a load of horseapples..." His voice crept up an octave filled with pure hatred at the idea.

"Sombra..." Hope took a few steps forward only for crystals to herd her away towards a wall.

"I'm sorry Hope. I tried to make it work. But all I ever saw was the darkness within. I had no mark to tell me my destiny. The useless excuse for the Princess of the Sun and the Moon had more purpose than I. Then the former Princess of Love knew what I truly was and said NOTHING!" Sombra turned around facing the party as true malice shined within his eyes though the melancholy was still present.

Sombra looked at the group before him and sighed. The rage dissipated and his sadness took over once again.

"Once we do this there is no going back. I will not stop but you may walk away from this. You have dealt with the bug and saved your kingdom. Should you leave I will stay within my realm. I'm done dealing with the lies that come out of ponies mouths." His tone sounded dead as if he was just going to stare into the Crystal Heart for the rest of eternity. He was about to turn back to it when the party regained their ability to move. They took one step forward and the music changed.

=Undertale OST Bergentrucking/Asgore=

"Fine you all asked for it."

Sombra held his eyes down casted in shadow as a frown appeared on his face.

Meanwhile...

"Looks like someone reached the final boss now honey. Ready to watch what we pulled off for the somewhat final battle." President Sombra sat back while Hope instead of sitting next to him sat on his lap and curled up with him. Getting comfortable the two watched in anticipation of the battle before them.

In game...

"I was brought about by ponies and their harsh tones for anyone who was different. They shunned what they couldn't understand. What is a Pony but a miserable pile of hypocrisy? But enough talk have at you all!"

Without warning he pulled out the Blade of Deepest Shadow then slashed away the very terrain around them turning the battlefield into a shadowed prison. Radiant stood nearby.

"I can't leave this section but I can still throw spells. Stand true brave heroes."

"To me slaves!" Sombra cried out as several Crystal Pony slaves came out. Each were wearing strange helmets that seemed to glow a sickly green as the group charged forward.

The slaves each targeted a different pony knocking them back forcing both Applejack and Sci Twi to form a defensive front for the group. The helmet had it's own health bar just like the blade did for the Tarnished Armor fight.

"Hit the helmets!"

It took a while for any helmet to be affected and the onslaught of darkness attacks from Sombra made it tougher for the group since he could debuff any increase should the sword physically strike the character. If he didn't hit then the chance of acquiring Crystal Madness debuff also could hurt. The debuff made characters sparkly like a Crystal Pony but forced the character to attack the party.
As the last Crystal Pony fell and Sombra's health hit the two thirds mark he reared back sending a wave of dark crystals to smack all ponies against the wall. A timely heal from Hope made it not instantly kill them all.

"The darkness will consume you all!" Sombra screamed as small umbrum beings came out of the bars of the prison. Then they infected the Crystal Ponies who had been knocked out twisting them into monsters. Sombra began using petrification spells forcing all characters with a timer. Hope could heal the effect but she couldn't mass cast it. Unfortunately her A.I. didn't differentiate on priority targets, namely those with mere seconds left. Luckily Fluttershy had a spell as well to negate it.

Several light spells were fired off by REAL_Princess which caused the Crystal ponies to stumble and fight back against the Umbrum possessors. Realizing what she did Twilight told the group to focus light spells on the possessed while the others focused on Sombra. Several times the party would fall due to a lucky swing from the blade or the petrification taking effect. At the one third mark the Umbra dissipated from the crystal ponies and they fled off the battlefield. In a fit of rage Sombra summoned another wave of crystals which knocked the party across the room.

"Jeez this fool is stronger than I thought." Dash said as another heal kept her character from outright dying.

"I will show you the true King of all Monsters in this realm!" Sombra yelled out as darkened crystals tore themselves out of the room and clung to the king. Within seconds the dark magic took effect and turned into monstrous armor for the Monstrous King. He was now three times as tall as a regular pony and the blade was now emitting dark purple energy from it. Though his act did free Radiant from the crystal prison.

The third form was a harsh reminder what would happen when a boss decided to go into their final form. Every swing nearly killed their characters on a direct hit. The healing from Hope barely mitigated the strain. Fluttershy's healing also helped keep them going as the health bar slowly trickled down.

Even debuffs on his armor would be negated as the dark magic kept it rising even through a barrage of light magic. As the bar settled lower and lower the armor started to fall apart. Then a cutscene took over as the last strike made the armor shatter.

"Sombra please stop fighting and speak with me. Please there is a better way your destiny is not written in stone and we can change it for you. Please come back to me." Hope teared up as she walked towards the weakened King who was still staring at the group harshly.

A prompt on the screen appeared.
-Strike while he's down...
-Wait a bit longer...

Twilight was conflicted as was the group. No one had found the Radiant Hope NPC before and there was no way to know the right answer. Unfortunately someone had slippery hands and poor impulse control.

"Let's get him now before he can get up!" Dash roared out. She chose the prompt just as the others cried out not to.

As the cutscene played on the entire party charged up an attack for the weakened Crystal King. Hope saw it and jumped in the way of the blast at the last moment. The ponies stood in shock as the harmony magic struck the defenseless crystal pony. Sombra's shock was all they saw as Hope fell to the ground. Hatred burning in his eyes he glared down the party while the party glared at Dash.

"Oops...heh heh..."

"RAINBOW!"

"So you want to see what monsters truly are. Fine my little ponies prepare to face true monsters." Sombra growled out.

The prison returned back to the Crystal heart room as Sombra ran his magic through it. The darkness from the heart tore apart the magical seals surrounding the base of the castle as a large door appeared before them. It slowly opened as darkness seeped out and covered all the land. Every Umbra monsters in the entire game instantly shot up ten levels and had several buffs put on them. The party was grabbed by tendrils of darkness.

The group landed themselves in the final area of the expansion. The Shadow Prison. Nearby at a save crystal was Radiant Hope breathing heavily against it. A quick heal from Fluttershy brought her back to her hooves.

"I'm sorry... I couldn't lose him again." Hope said as Sombra had fled into the prison.

The rest of the group quietly saved and got ready for the final dungeon.

= A later group that found Hope tried to wait instead of attack. They found out that the party would auto respond to the attack regardless and Hope would still get in the way.

=The later groups that fought against Sombra without finding Hope noticed that he had a fourth form where he took his true Umbrum body and attacked with pure darkness attacks and a few one hit kills should the party's defense be down.

Session 53.3 Ardashir

With a loud snap Twilight appeared outside the throne room of Celestia's palace. Light coming through the windows seemed to grow first wildly bright, and then dim again as she hurled the doors open.

"Princess!" Twilight recognized Kibitz as the grey-haired old unicorn galloped up to her. "Thank the Sun and Moon you've arrived! We were about to send for you."

"What's happening?" Twilight said, trotting into the throne room. Kibitx hurried to keep up with her as she said, "The sun and moon are going crazy! They're flying all over the sky! Half of Ponyville was at my front door asking me to explain why Fluttershy was allowing Discord to play with them."

"It's not Discord," Kibitz said with a shudder. "Er, that horrid creature isn't here with you, is he?"

"No, he's back in Ponyville playing a game of tag with the Cutie Mark Crusaders and some other foals." Twilight frowned to remember Discord's exact words. A 'perfectly innocent game'? "He had a suspicious smile on his face, though... But what's going on?" She froze. "What's happened to Celestia and Luna?"

"The princess have, well..." Kibitz took a deep breath as he opened the inner door. "They're having a drinking contest."

"Excuse me?" Twilight blinked. "I thought you said that Princesses Celestia and Luna were having a drinking contest, and --"

The next words died in her throat as a white blur with an ethereal mane and tail flew at her.

"OH TWILIGHT IT'S SO GREAT TO SEE YOU HERE! NOW MAYBE I CAN CONVINCE LUNA THAT MY SUN GOES FASTER THAN HER MOON BECAUSE SHE SAYS IT DOESN'T THE BIG PHONY! NOW ALL I NEED IS TWELVE MORE CUPS AND I'LL BEAT LUNA!"

"What?" Twilight blinked and noticed Celestia was standing right in front of her. She seemed vaguely blurry, like Pinkie Pie when she was incredibly excited. Having spoken, the Sun Princess raced back to what looked like a cauldron with a fire burning under it. She dipped a crystal wine bowl into it and hurriedly swigged the contents down. Some almost black liquid splattered against her barding and chest. Twilight felt Kibitz shudder. Celestia swiftly drank down several more bowls-full. Twilight began to suspect what she was drinking. A second later a purple blur also raced to the cauldron.

"YOU'RE GONNA LOSE BIG SIS! I CAN OUTDRINK YOU ANY DAY OF THE WEEK!" To Twilight's horror Luna simply dipped her muzzle into the cauldron and seemed to inhale a tremendous dose before almost teleporting across the room to stand before Twilight and Kibitz. "PRINCESS TWILIGHT AND MY SISTER'S MAIN SERVANT, IT IS GOOD TO SEE YOU! IF IN FACT I DO SEE YOU! NOW SOME HONEST PONY SHALL KEEP COUNT AND SEE HOW MANY BOWLS FULL OF THIS WONDROUS CONCOCTION MY SISTER AND I HAVE DRAINED!"

Luna raced back to stand by her sister as they took turns raising their respective celestial namesakes as swiftly as they could. Twilight sniffed and inhaled, only to gag.

"Is that coffee?"

"It was delivered this morning," Kibitz said, pointing to a large box nearby. The box's lid coincidentally flipped over, revealing both a return address and the message, 'Special Triple Expresso Worldbreaker Brand Coffee, Rated Only For Alicorns, Draconequi, and Similar Beings'. "Together with a note wishing their highnesses joy of the brew and suggesting they see which of them could outdo the other. But who could possibly create a drink so potent that it drove them both to acting like hyperactive foals --"

Kibitz and Twilight both broke off and glared in mutual recognition.

***

Back in Ponyville, a laughing Discord let the Cutie Mark Crusaders, Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, Button Mash, and Rumble all ponypile him. The rest of the town was going about their business, cautiously, with only a few glances at the sun and moon as they wildly raced through the sky above.

"Hah! Okay, you win!" Discord laughed, and then tilted his head like he heard someone, two someones, yelling his name far off in fury. He grinned.

"Mister Discord, what's so durn funny?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Oh, I just felt somepony appreciating my special gift. Luna really does need to learn to stop at ten cups a morning, though."

Session 53.4 Devcon101

Octavia hummed a little tune to herself as she trotted up to her shared house, a saddlebag containing everything she had needed for that night's game on her side. Vinyl had left to play for a club in Fillydelphia and wouldn't be back for another day or so, meaning not only did she get a night to herself, but she also got to sleep in without being awoken by her roommate's rave music for once.

The mare stepped up to the door and, with one turn of the knob, opened the door, taking a few steps inside, only to notice things were different within her household. For one, propped up beside the door were a large, black suitcase that looked clearly overfilled and a case for a saxophone. And then there was the earth pony that sat in her chair, playing a game of solitaire. The mare had a brass colored coat and yellow hair done in a beehive style. A pair of glasses rested over her eyes, and most of her body was concealed with a large brown trench coat. As Octavia stepped inside, the mare looked up from her card game with a wide smile.

"Tavi! Been wonderin' when you'd get here. How's my little sis been doin' these past years?" she asked, raising a brow with a grin.

"...I've been fine. Now, Saxy, exactly why have you decided to waltz into my home uninvited?" Octavia set down her saddlebags beside the two cases as she closed the door behind her.

"Well, I came ‘round to visit you on your birthday, but apparently these ponies never bothered to build any hotels. Couldn't even find a motel! Or a casino. Or nightclub. This town's nightlife must be crap. So, I thought my little sis-"

"Could you please not call me that?"

"Whatever you say little sis. Anyway, I thought she wouldn't mind if I crashed at her place for a time. Wouldn't want to miss her birthday after all."

"...My birthday isn't until a week from now."

"That's why I came early," She sat back down and grabbed her deck of cards, shuffling them.

"I assume you'd let me? I mean, you wouldn't just kick me out...right?" Saxy asked, Octavia sighing.

"I'll have to talk with Vinyl, but for now I suppose you can stay," she said, sitting down on the surprisingly clean seat her roommate used, seeing as hers had been taken.

"Knew it" the mare muttered to herself, finishing her shuffling of the deck. "So, poker? Bridge? Or are you more of a blackjack mare?"

"Saxy, I don't gamble."

"Doesn't mean you can't start."

Session 53.5 Mtangalion

Windy Whisper stared at the blank parchment with slightly bloodshot eyes, then slowly and deliberately thumped her forehead against the writing desk. This gave her a mild headache, but it didn't shake any inspiration loose.

The young thestral sighed and spread her wings, floating her quill on gusts of wind again. "It was a deep and sombre night, storm clouds churning overhead when..."

Windy made a sour face, then crossed that out and started again. "Redpaw reared up, claws scraping the balcony railing, and howled at the moon."' Hmm, better... "His wolfpony pack, gathered in the courtyard of the old keep below him, joined him and twos and threes, adding their voices to the long, mournful chorus. He looked to Silver Crystal by his side, huddled against him for warmth, and said... I... like your mane?"

Windy groaned and crossed that last part out too. "Ugh, I have to get another chapter done tonight." She glanced at the mouth of her cave and shuddered at the daylight streaming in. "Today. Something. All in favor of donuts and coffee?" She raised a forehoof, yawning. "Hey, look at that. Motion carries."

Windy was halfway to Sugarcube Corner, flitting around nearly as unsteadily as Derpy, when a burst of magic expanded into a spherical portal. Old instincts woke her up the rest of the way, and she quickly dove and peeked out from behind a bench.

A blue pegasus stallion and a large male griffon emerged, getting their bearings. "Hey, Blitzy," rumbled the griffon. "You think it's still Ponyville on this side?"

Rainbow Blitz grinned handsomely, pausing to comb his mane. "Ponyville, Fillyton, Maresville... doesn't matter! I'm still gonna pick up way more chicks than you."

Guilder smirked. "You're on."

Already, the strange pair were making quite an impression. Cloud Kicker flew off course and into a building because she'd turned her head to ogle them, and Lyra didn't notice that she'd wandered off her path until she blundered into a fountain. Windy herself was scribbling down new story ideas like a mare possessed, trying not to openly drool.

Rainbow Blitz covered Pinkie Pie's muzzle, right when she was about to gasp. "Yo, Berry, I'm really happy to see you..."

"Pinkie!"

"... and I'm gonna let you finish, but a private party with the Blitz is the best party of all time."

Pinkie ooohed and batted her eyelashes at him. "We'll just see about that, mister."

Windy Whisper peeked around a corner, taking more notes.

Guilder was giving Gilda his most charming smile. "So how about it, sweetcheeks? Nothing wrong with a little shameless narcissism, is there?"

Gilda poked his chest with a talon, grinning dangerously. "Call me sweetcheeks one more time. I dare you."

A potted plant was lifted up... Windy was wearing it on her head as camouflage, scribbling away.

A small and completely inconspicuous cloud edged closer to Fluttershy's cottage, occasionally making quill-scratching noises.

Princess Twilight smiled at Guilder and Blitz, who were backing away in growing horror. She looked to the stallion beside her. "Yes, that's them, Zephyr Breeze. They just can't wait to hear all your best dating tips."

Rarity finished the last page of "Dusklight: Worlds Apart" and put the book away, sighing blissfully. "Where *does* Midnight Heart get her ideas? Not from anyplace as straitlaced as Ponyville, that's for certain."

Session 53.6 General Lemarc

The following is the reason why The Doctor no longer takes part in events which have the potential to become Muffin Trials(yes, this does need to be capitalized).

Time: The Third Great Muffin Trial

Place: Ponyville, the Hooves residence

"Oh Doc~ I want to have a word with you~!" Derpy walked back to the kitchen. Her wings were flared just in case of the chase.

The Doctor was in full-on panic mode. River would kill him(quite possibly literally) if this went where it looked like it would, and even the slightest chance of him becoming a father had the potential to wreck time itself-one of him was plenty, thank you. Bereft of his visor(and the confidence it gave him), he slowly backed away from Derpy towards her back door, while trying to think of something to say to get him out of this situation.

"Look! Its Batmare!"

In his defense, he'd never been very good at this sort of thing. Amazingly, it worked. Derpy looked away for a split-second, allowing him to dash through the door. If he could just get to the TARDIS, he could head to some far-off world for a few days-no, weeks until this all went away. He idly wondered if this justified another foray into a parallel universe; that one with the bipedal apes had been fun-the ape version of him had even had a (somewhat cool) bow tie. As he approached the TARDIS at full gallop, he noticed the caramel colored, straw-maned mare with the compass-and-blue-book cutie mark leaning against it...

"Hello sweetie."

River! Oh this was bad, this was bad. Well, he could either bring her and explain now, or try to leave her behind and explain later. He briefly considered the latter, but then realized that would mean leaving her with Derpy. Crazed, love-struck Derpy...

"TARDIS! Get in! Now!"

"And what has us so flustered that we've forgotten our sentence structure?"

"Crazy mare. Temporarily in love with me. Can't let River find ou...t. ...oops? Never mind, please just kill me later!"

The Doctor hurridly shoved River inside the TARDIS and immediately set the coordinates for a random system on a list of around a dozen he kept for just such a purpose. That done, he turned back towards River, bracing for a lecture, and found...a remarkably calm mare.

"Oh don't look so scared. Hardly the first time this has happened. Remember the Pie Wars?"

"The what?"

"Whoops. Guess we're not there yet. Regardless, its fine. How'd it happen, though?"

"Muffin button."

"...I'm going to assume that makes sense"

Before the Doctor could reply, the phone rang.

"Hel-lo Doctor!" Came a sultry, sing-songy voice. Oh. Oh no.

"How do you have this number? More to the point, how can you contact this number?!"

"Oh, Twilight has this cool gadget she brought back from the mirror world. Anyway, guess what I found in my mailbag? Somepony sent you a postcard, and I forgot to deliver it. Silly me. I just don't know what went wrong!"

The Doctor idly wondered how she was able to make that last sentence sound so forboding, as he had just realized where this was going.

"But don't worry Doc. I'll be right over to deliver it. See you sooooon!" The phone clicked.

The Doc stood stock still for a moment.

"River?"

"Yes?"

"Did you send me a postcard?"

"Um...yes?"

"Oh. Ok then." With little to no warning, the Doctor flew into a blizzard of action, twisting knobs, pushing buttons, and generally doing everything possible to get as far away from Equestria as was possible.

"Of course this would happen, of COURSE it would!"

"Sweetie-"

"I'd rather be fighting a Smooze-covered Tirek right now! Leading a Changeling army too!"

"Sweetie-"

"Why did I suggest the mail service to Queen Platinum? Why didn't I just give them telephones instead of-"

"Doctor you will explain this to me right now!"

The Doctor turned and began advancing towards River.

"Neither snow nor rain nor the space-time continuum shall stay her from the completion of her appointed rounds" He muttered, as if making an incantation to an unholy demon. "Don't you see River? DON'T YOU SEE?! Forget the Smooze, NOTHING CAN STOP THE MAIL!!!"

Before River could respond to this odd outburst(which, by her standards, was well and truly saying something), she was cut off by a knock at the door of the TARDIS. Which was still in transit. Through time. "Mailmare!" Sang a voice that sounded like it belonged in a form of media unseen by Equestrian eyes.

"Doctor? How is that possible?"

"She's the most dedicated mailmare I've ever seen throughout the cosmos. She delivers mail like Pinkie Pie enforces Pinkie Promises."

This gave River some pause(Pinkie Promises being one of the few truly-unbreakable contracts in the known universe), but didn't dissuade her. "That just raises more questions, the main one still being how that is possible?!"

"...Muffin button."

"Open the doooor Doctor! I know how to pick locks!"

"But the TARDIS doesn't have a physical lock. How could she-?" River began to ask, but was cut off by her soon-to-be-ex(if that madmare had anything to say about it) suitor.

"She also doesn't really know how to pick locks. I'm sure that won't matter either. Now please help me find somewhen to hide before she gets in here!"

To be continued...

Session 53.7 QuartzScale

Derpy sat at her table a bit in awe what was before her. On her right sat Bon Bon and next to her sat Big Mac. On her left was Shining Armor. She blinked a couple times but for some reason she didn't know why these two were here either. Wracking her brain for answers she could only remember something about ‘testing the muffin button' by Twilight after she heard something from Discord who had let it slip a few days ago.

‘I'm gonna make sure to get the Doc someday. The muffin button shall be avenged!' Derpy thought.

"Thanks for have us over Ms. Hooves. I'm sorry it's on such short notice." Big Mac drawled out while eating his own special apple slice muffin.

"I'm honestly not sure why I'm here but I appreciate the snacks as well." Shining answered in response as well making Derpy smile at the kind gestures.

Bon Bon said nothing but knew what was coming up. The muffin button was something that she had learned about after the fourth time she wore the blue suit and red tie combo. After a while she treated it to the same effect as her job as a secret agent. Roll with the stomps... or something to that reasoning. Lyra had said once that it was roll with the punches but only bipedal creatures could do that... at least well enough.

"Who wants the last muffin?" Derpy singsonged causing Bon Bon to tense up as the two stallions both shouted out.

"ME!"

With nary a hesitation Derpy pressed the muffin button and the world began to change for the courtroom. Bon Bon stood by in her aforementioned attire and waited for the transformation to finish on her two guests.

Big Mac was the first to change and suddenly he looked very dapper. He was wearing a very large silk top hat and silkened suit with a red tie. In his hooves seemed to be an intricate puzzle box which he seemed to be looking over the intricate details as if searching for the secrets of the universe or just the box in front of him. He still had his stoic gaze but it seemed to be filled with the want for knowledge.

Shining finished soon after and was wearing an extreme amount of armor over his full body. Wrapped around his neck was a purple checkerboard patterned scarf and across his back was a green cape. His normally blue mane had turned a darkened red and seemed to stand up straight but wavy. Levitating in his own magic was a large spear with a barbed tip. His eyes seemed to be convinced of his own worth of the muffin and left Derpy a bit intimidated. That spear looked too pointy to eat muffins off of. She would rather use her own hooves.

"Please make your case."

"Of course Ms. Hooves. I believe I deserve the muffin. I reckon that it will give me the strength I need to figure out this here puzzle box. Captain's of the Royal Guard need to keep themselves regimented and fit. A muffin would be counter productive." Big Mac drolled on providing some logic on the matter.

OBJECTION!

"This blasphemer is obviously a witch and should be burned at the stake for his lies. That muffin belongs to the hooves of this pony before you," He pointed at his own body. " I, Inquistor Armor, deserve that muffin for providing entertainment to the entire equestrian continent thanks in no small part to my friends who work tirelessly to make it all possible.

Elsewhere...

Gaffer and 8-Bit felt their souls get lighter as they worked on their next big project. They were being praised by someone.

Back at the Muffin Trials...

OBJECTION!

"If'n you're calling me a liar I reckon you got another thing coming..."

Both stallions got up and looked down at one another ready to charge at the other. Derpy quickly pressed the muffin button while Bon Bon snacked on the last muffin while everypony was distracted.

Shining and Mac looked around utterly confused and sat back down rubbing the back of their necks from the embarrassment. They quickly apologized while Derpy brought out the extra muffins she made in preparations for a small party of ponies. With a small sigh the three ate muffins in complete silence happy by the divine baked confectionary from the gods.

Meanwhile...

"I don't understand just how powerful that button is... Discord how much magic did you use to make that?" Twilight turned to the confused Draconequus.

"Not that much. In fact it should have run out of magic about three trials ago. I've even asked some of the other chaos gods from different dimensions and none of them are setting foot in this universe unless invited. You know how dangerous this particular universe is with all the games of chance being played for the fate of the universe." Discord quipped as he kept scanning the area for rogue magical signals. There was nothing connected to the muffin button.

"Really!? I mean, nevermind. What should we do about it?" Twilight kept her panic low but it was still visible.

"Give it two more trials... If it gets out of hand I'll ask for it back. I can't assure that the residual magic won't still be around but at least everypony involved had fun." Discord rubbed his neck both in boredom and in confusion.

"I suppose. We could give it three. Just in case it runs out before then. You do have a way to keep it safe right?" Twilight quirked an eyebrow at the draconequus who merely waved his claw derisively. Unsatisfied but out of time, Twilight teleported off and awaited the next use of the Muffin Button.

Session 53.8 Mtangalion

Sweetie Belle yawned and stretched herself awake, puzzled by the peculiar lighting in her bedroom, even before she opened her eyes. Was there a storm scheduled this morning? She rolled over and tried to snuggle deeper into her bedsheets, only to realize that she was snuggled into a warm fuzzy pile of diamond wolf pups instead. She groaned, patting her wet nose with a fluffy white paw. "How does this keep happening?"

Elena nosed Sweetie playfully, ears relaxed and curly tail wagging. "Svity's really surprised that we found her so fast, isn't she? We've been practicing!"

Pavel grinned. "Icehome Deep Hollow Puppy Pack Super Trackers!!" Katya yipped and Andrei barked excitedly, while Sasha howled his support... right into the ears of Katya, who growled and covered Sasha's muzzle with a paw.

Sweetie giggled and wagged her own tail, despite her confusion. Surely, this had to be a dream. Yes, just a strange, recurring dream where she couldn't find the zipper of her enchanted wolf costume no matter how she searched. "It's nice to see you all... heh, again."

"Well, that's enough sleepy time!" declared Pavel. "Time to play more Ponies and Princesses!" He play-chomped Katya's flank to get him moving, which set off a flurry of dashing and barking and spreading out cushions to cover the stone floor of their "secret den," and general running in circles until everywolf settled down.

Elena opened the game box and took up the game module in her reddish-brown forepaws. "Today, Twilight's pack is summoned to important pony capital, to meet Princess Celestia!"

"All praise to Celestia!" barked Andrei. "She's the best Princess! ... That's what Applejack says, not me."

"Yes, yes," said Pavel. "Twilight Sparkle also bows to great mistress and teacher!"

Elena turned a page. "Great Princess Celestia called you here because Koschei has been super-naughty and played tricks on ponies again. He stole the best, shiniest jewel necklaces, the Elements of Harmony, when no pony was looking! And he also plunged land into chaos, made houses float upside-down and stuff."

All of the diamond wolf pups gasped in outrage. "Koschei will be sorry!" barked Pavel. "We'll definitely get those shiny necklaces back!"

Sweetie Belle blinked. "Wait... shouldn't that be Discord?"

Elena tilted her head in confusion. "Says Koschei, right here in adventure book."

Pavel nodded fervently. "Everywolf knows Koschei. He's the super no-good trickster of the gods who even plays pranks on Luna!"

Far away in Canterlot, Princess Luna was sit about to sit down for a scrumptious moon pie snack when a loud sneeze put her on her guard. She checked her favorite chair and levitated a whoopie cushion out of it. "Discord!"

Discord appeared in a flash, chuckling to himself. "Just like old times, eh, Lulu?"

Session 53.9 Ardashir

"Uh, why are we here again?" Rainbow Dash asked, stepping aside from passing Diamond Wolves. Some of the lupines glanced at the ponies but mostly they seemed content to go about their own business. Dash glanced up at the too low for flight ceiling and shook herself. "Geeze, Rares, I thought you got sick of those wolf games."

"I am," Rarity said as she kept a wary eye on the Wolves about her. She smiled to see many of them wearing the gemstone studded collars that sold so well in her Icehome shop. "Well, maybe not sick, but Alisa's tendency to pretend to be me or some other pony could get tiresome. But while we're visiting the Crystal Empire, Twilight can visit her family and we can check on my business." Dash moved uneasily past another pair of Wolves, scarred and fierce-looking. Rarity added in a darker tone, "That, and find out just WHY my parents allowed Sweetie to come here -- alone!"

Icehome itself was much larger than the ponies would have expected, with ornately carved walls covered with images of Diamond Wolf history: the First Pack fleeing Discord's reign, fleeing again from the Umbrum, finally carving their own home from the glacial ice and rock. Traditional light-gems and heatstones hung in wrought iron sconces under arches, and bulbous domes showed in the distance. Icehome had spread out from the caves ever since the Diamond Wolves had officially returned to the surface, working as a cheaper (and colder) alternative to staying inside the Crystal Empire itself. In the distance, through a window carved into the cave walls, Rarity could even see one of the Equestria Royal Hotels for visiting ponies.

But despite all that Icehome and the Diamond Wolves were still only slowly joining the larger society around them. It lacked the multi-species nature of Equestrian cities; besides herself and Dash, Rarity only saw Wolves about them. Many Wolves looked at the visiting ponies with heads cocked in confusion. One or two even tried to lean in close and sniff, eyes wide and ears cocked forward. Dash glared at the ones that tried and they hurried off. When one tried it on Rarity, she gently swatted him with her tail.

"Ah-ah-ah! Good sir!" Rarity bestowed a dazzling smile, remembering Alisa's warning against the display of teeth. She batted her eyelashes. The Wolf looked pleasantly poleaxed as she said, "In civilized company, one does not sniff ladies without being invited! Now then, perhaps you could tell me where the local Carousel Boutique is?"

"Shop where Alisa sells fancy collars from Rarity-pony?" The Wolf said, his voice a low and not unpleasant rumble. "Is right ahead, down main tunnel."

Rarity thanked the Wolf and sashayed past him. She ignored the snickering she heard from Dash. "Heh. Now ya vamp wolves too?" Her local shop lay just ahead. She frowned to see the interior dark.

"Ya close in mid-day?" Dash flew over to the door and touched her hoof to it. It creaked open. "Wow, Alisa must really trust these Wolves."

"It's supposed to be open," Rarity trotted forward and read the sign hanging by the door. "'Closed for now, have to watch puppies'? What?" Rarity hurried inside the darkened room. "Alisa! What's this about minding puppies? And do you know where Sweetie Belle is --"

She froze as half a dozen sets of glowing green eyes suddenly appeared in the darkness around her.

"ATTACK!" Rarity shrieked as half a dozen little furballs pounced her. She shrieked even louder as some very sharp little teeth nipped at her. They yipped excitedly. "Alisa can't fool us! We're too smart for her!"

Rarity, Her of Equestria, Element of Generosity, did the only thing she could think of when attacked by half a dozen rambunctious Diamond Wolf puppies.

"AHHHH! HELP! I'M ABOUT TO BECOME PUPPY CHOW!"

"B-wahaha!" Dash rolled laughing behind her. "Sorry, Rares, this time yer gonna have ta help yourself!"

"Big sis!" One of the puppies, a white one with pink and purple fur accents, grabbed Rarity's nose with her forepaws. "We're not going to hurt you! Err, I mean, 'not going to hurt Alisa's Mistress Rarity...'" Her voice trailed off as Rarity snatched her up.

"Wh-aa-at?" Rarity glared. The puppies backed off. All save the one Rarity held. "Sweetie Belle! What are you doing in that wolf costume?!?"

"Err," Sweetie grinned, displaying flat equine teeth. "Hopefully not getting in trouble?"

Session 53.10 Ardashir

While the ladies were visiting Icehome and the Crystal Empire, back home the boys were trying to introduce a new player to their Ogres & Oubliettes game.

"Like, there's nothing you guys can possibly teach me about this!" Zephyr Breeze folded his forelegs across his chest and sat back with a smirk. Big Mac, Spike, and a subbing for the usual GM Discord looked at him skeptically as he bragged. "I used to play this game all the time. Uh, before I got too old for it."

"Okay then, Mister Wise Guy," Spike said. He pointed at the board, where their characters were setting up an ambush for an owlbear. "What's your brilliant idea for how to distract the owlbear?"

Zephyr grinned, picked up his character's cardboard stand, turned away and worked at something for several moments. He turned around and with a triumphant smile said, "This!"

Spike, Big Mac, and Discord all stared in disbelief. Zephyr held up his figure -- now with a figure of another owlbear crudely drawn over it.

"Oh, man," Spike groaned. "That's not what I think it is, is it?"

"It's my character's disguise as an owlbear!" Zephyr lifted his head high. "While it checks me out, you guys can get her from behind!" At their stunned looks, he sniffed. "What? We already know that no mare can resist me. Dash had to go North to that petting zoo just so she wouldn't throw herself at my hooves. So my amazing charisma and sex appeal," he tossed his mane back with one hoof, "should work on an owlbear, too. Great idea, right?"

"Eee-nope," Big Mac shook his head.

"I'm with Mac," Spike held his nose. "This plan stinks!"

"Can we please get this game going?" Discord made a cuckoo clock appear. It rang three, and a little wooden cross-eyed Nightmare Moon shot out three times and gave her maniacal laugh before it vanished. "I don't have all night."

He opened his mouth to say more. Zephyr turned and held his hoof out, setting it over Discord's mouth.

"I am talking, thank you," he said. "You may wait your turn. Oh, don't you glare at me. I know my big sister orders you around like a pet dog. Nopony is afraid of you any more. Isn't that right?"

Zephyr blinked to see Big Mac and Spike backing away from the table, their eyes wide with horror. He looked up and saw Discord looming over him, claws ready to snap.

"Oh, really?"

Moments later a screaming Zephyr Breeze raced around the room, with a hulking female owlbear how on his heels.

"Hooty-hoo!" It hooted, claws outstretched and little hearts orbiting its head. "Hooty-hoo for snu-snu!"

Spike tapped Discord on the leg as he floated in midair, eating from a large tub of popcorn.

"Fine," Discord rolled his eyes. He raised his claw. "I'll send it back home before it hurts Fluttershy's idiot brother."

"No, no," Spike said. "I was just gonna ask if you had another bucket of popcorn."

Session 53.11 Mtangalion

Rarity was distracted from scolding her sister by a chorus of small but serious-sounding growls. The Diamond Wolf pups had surrounded her. "Give Svity back, crazy stinky changeling!" snarled Pavel. "Our pack is strong, you'd better not mess with us!"

Rainbow Dash was having another giggle-fit, rolling on the carpet outside the store.

Rarity gasped, letting Sweetie slip from her hooves. "Stinky!" She paused, considering. "Oh dear. Perhaps instead of using fewer scented beauty products, I should have..." She shuddered. "Foregone them entirely!"

There was a sharp gust of wind, and all the glow-gems in the jewelry shop came on at once... soft multicolored lights sparkling over a dragon's horde of jeweled collars and anklets. Alisa herself padded out from behind a counter, wearing a finely wrought golden collar set with a polished onyx. "Changeling? Heh, pups have such imaginations! Why would they think a changeling was coming here?"

Elena smacked her own face with a paw. "Alisa tricked us again!"

Alisa beamed, fangs hidden. "Pups were good spots." She dropped a small paper bag onto the floor and nosed it towards them. "Here, have treats."

Rarity sniffed the air and drew back, her muzzle curling... the treats smelled like *meat*, dried and spiced.

Sasha and Andrei bounded forward, but Pavel quickly barred their way. "Could be another trick!"

Alisa shook her head. "Pavel's father wouldn't forgive Alisa if she poisoned you."

Pavel bristled, taken aback. "What? I'm a strong wolf now! I don't need dad for every little thing!" The pup sniffed deeply of the snacks, then tasted one slowly and beckoned to the others, and only then did the whole pack join in.

"Huh," mused Rainbow Dash, grinning as she watched. "You Diamond Wolves are pretty big on loyalty, aren't you?"

Katya looked up at Rainbow, blinking, then at the Ponies and Princesses game box, then back and forth again. "It's... real Rainbow Dash? And real Rarity?!"

"As real as it gets!" said Rainbow smugly. "Huh..." She squinted at the game box. "Did we authorize that one?"

"I honestly have no idea," said Rarity, head still spinning from all the revelations. "You'd have to ask Shining Armor's associates."

Pavel poked Sweetie Belle. "Come on, Svity, have some! They're good treats!"

But Sweetie would have looked a little green, if she hadn't been wearing the costume. "Pavel... guys... I have a confession to make. Rarity there, she *is* my sister. I'm not really a wolf." Now, thankfully, she found the zipper without any trouble and peeled the costume off, shivering in the suddenly-colder cavern.

All of the pups gasped. "It was a trick?" asked Elena, looking hurt. "Svity lied?"

"I didn't mean to!" blurted out Sweetie Belle, sitting and drooping her head submissively. "I put the costume so I could explore the city, and you all came along and just assumed... and I was having so much fun making new friends and playing games that I never said..."

Pavel loomed over her sternly. "Hmm! Svity is a good wolf, even though she's a pony! Pack can forgive her." He grinned toothily. "After she's punished!"

"What?" yelped Sweetie. "Ack, no! Not the cold noses!" She giggled, squirming as the puppy pack rushed in.

Rarity tensed, until it was clear that her little sister really was just getting tickled and not chomped. "Alisa, darling," she said quietly. "We need to talk about how my sister got here. Oh, and one other small matter."

While the pups and Sweetie started organizing another Ponies and Princesses session, dragging Rainbow into it too, an amused Alisa motioned towards the store office and quietly led Rarity there. "Yes, Mistress?"

Rarity took a deep breath. "I need to find someone called Midnight Heart. She's..."

Alisa raised a forepaw at once. "Alisa knows of her." There was a sour expression on the Diamond Wolf's muzzle, something that Rarity hadn't seen in some time. "Alisa still owes Mistress Rarity for other mean tricks, so... She'll tell Mistress straight out. Luna has outplayed Mistress, she came to Alisa first. Alisa will not help Mistress Rarity find Midnight Heart."

Rarity sputtered in disbelief. "Oh all the... Forgive me if that doesn't seem like much a favor."

Alisa grinned impudently. "Could have lied and sent Mistress Rarity on wild pony chase."

"Well, there is that." Rarity sighed, pouting. "I suppose it was a slim hope at best. You probably have no idea who Midnight Heart really is."

Alisa pricked her ears up. "Of course Alisa knows. She has eyes. Mistress does too, if she stared at things besides sketch pad and dresses. Now, how young Mistress Sweetie got to Icehome without taking train, that's a good mystery!"

Session 53.12 Alex Warlorn

There was a knock on the castle door, which Spike opened, revealing a unicorn in a green and red tuxedo with swirlie eye glasses. "Hello, I am from the Equestrian Mind Control and Hypnotists' Society. Can you please direct me to the greatest mind controller in Equestria?" The stallion levatated a golden trophy with the year's date stamped on it with a swirl eye on top.

Discord popped into being. "Don't mind if I do! Thank you, thank you, it's an honor to receive this lovely award, AGAIN!" A spotlight and rose pedals floated down. "As the longest running holder of Greatest Mind Controller/Hypnotist in Equestria, I'd just like to say-"

The stallion whose cutie mark was a pocket watch, pulled the trophy out of Discord's claw/paw. "Actually, Mr. Discord, you're not the winner this year."

"SAY WHAT?!" Discord snarled.

"What is going on in here?" Twilight came in with Starlight and Trixie coming right behind her.

"Ah, the greatest mind controller in Equestria, I'm here to give you your trophy."

"Well," Starlight blushed. "I'm not one to brag-"

"Princess Twilight Sparkle." The stallion gave Twilight the trophy.

"WHAT?!" Discord and Starlight both gasped.

"Wha-?! Tha- AGH! You have got to be kidding me!" Twilight did not look happy.

"None at all. According to our records, your quota of mind controlled creatures is currently the highest in Equestria, the Trophy is yours."

"I don't want it!"

"Use it as a back scratcher."

"I already have a scepter for that!"

"Well, it's yours and that's that."

"NO, IT ISN'T!" Discord thundered. "I demand to challenge her position! That trophy is MINE!"

"And Starlight does as well!" Trixie said quickly pushing her friend forward. "Starlight got an entire species to turn on their head of state with a three minute conversation! That has to count for something!"

Starlight stuttered. "Trixie, you know that isn't-"

"Very well, I suppose then it is between Discord, Starlight Glimmer, and Princess Twilight Sparkle."

"I don't want any part of this!" Twilight exclaimed.

"You are legally obligated to defend your title."

"... Fine! Let's get this nonsense over with."

Then Ex-Queen Chrysalis smashed through a wall. "NOW HOLD ON!" "My poor castle!" "I am a better mind controller than ANY of these losers! I demand a chance to prove it!"

Starlight snorted. "You can't just come in here, you're a criminal, and-"

"Very well, your diplomatic immunity is restored for the next 24-hours, and will be terminated at the end of the contest."

"You can't do that!" Starlight exclaimed.

"I just did."

"Ugh!"

"YES!!!!"

"Any other contestants?"

"WAIT! We're in!" The sirens came CRAWLS through the mirror since they couldn't levitate without their gems, they trail of slime in their wake.

"HOW DID YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON!?" Twilight shouted her eyes crossed.

"I... may have been broadcasting MY award giving across reality," Discord said.

Twilight screamed.

Sunset came rushing in as well. "Come back here you slimly... Oh... Huh? What's going on? Mind control contest? Okay, I'm in, just to make sure the Sirens don't cause trouble."

"Sunset!"

"Don't worry it'll be benevolent mind control."

"There's no such thing!" Twilight stamped her hoof.

"Yes there is." Chrysalis, Discord, and Starlight all said together, then glared at each other.

"Only one of the fish ponies may enter so not to give an unfair advantage."

"That's racist!" Sonata shouted.

"Them's the rules. Now then, Very well, since the challenge has been made and been accepted. Those involved have 24 hours to mind control/hypnotize as many sapient beings as possible.

1) You can't mind control/hypnotize creatures who have already been mind control/hypnotize by one of the other competitors, during this competition, for this competition.
2) You can't mind control/hypnotize each other.
3) Nor may you mind control/hypnotize your subjects explicitly to hinder the others.

The tally will be made magically."

"How about you give me my reward right now!" Discord made like Emperor Palpatine and zapped the stallion with force lightning. The stallion removed his glasses, to reveal they were already swirlie.

"Sorry, I was explicity hypnotized, to resist any hypnosis by contestants to ensure a fair contest. Good luck to all, and made the best mind controller/hypnotist win!"

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (update already)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 53.0 QuartzScale
Session 53.1 Kendell2
Session 53.2 QuartzScale
Session 53.3 Ardashir
Session 53.4 Devcon101
Session 53.5 Mtangalion
Session 53.6 General Lemarc
Session 53.7 QuartzScale
Session 53.8 Mtangalion
Session 53.9 Ardashir
Session 53.10 Ardashir
Session 53.11 Mtangalion
Session 53.12 Alex Warlorn

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Cover art by Drewdini

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

http://drewdini.deviantart.com/art/MLP-Beholder-Attack-637650247

Session 54

Session 54.0 Patton-42

River opened the door to the TARDIS to find that they were, in fact, still in Equestria, just about a millenium in the past.

"Dear, I thought you said we were trying to avoid Equestria."

"I did, but I realized that she probably heard me, and figured she wouldn't think to look here."

"She's an ordinary pegasus. How could she possibly navigate the time vortex? Also, where is here?"

"River, I'm sorry, but "Muffin Button" is the only answer you're getting, aside from "nothing stops the mail". Its like trying to puzzle out Pinkie Pie's Pinkie Sense; all it does is cause needless headaches and large amounts of gratuitous slapstick. Also, we're in Hoofington in the final days of Discord's reign."

They appeared to be in the middle of the town square, where an important-seeming meeting was occurring. All the townsponies had gathered into two crowds split down the middle. The mare on the podium began to speak.

"And the tie has been broken by the two late arrivals in the blue shed! Ladies and gentlestallions, we have a new Lord Mayor!"

"Doctor, did we just decide an election by being here?"

"Apparently. And these days elective offices are for life. Wonderful. Oh well. I'm sure what with Discord being around and his inevitable defeat coming up, the new mayor won't be in office long anyway. But just in case..."

A sound like that of a million muffins instantly materializing suddenly shook the square. "Hey, Dooooc! You can't hide from me!"

"Never mind! I'm sure its nothing major! Run!!"

As the couple fled, the new mayor took the podium...

"Everypony, your new mayor: Chaos Tyhpon-er, Typhoon!"

The pony in question, who had wild eyes and a black-and-white-striped circle for a cutie mark, smiled.

"Heh. Cosmic Freudian Slip much?" he muttered, before addressing his new playthings-er, subjects. "Greetings all! Tis I, your new maste-mayor! Yes, that. My first issue of business shall be to aid in bringing that dastardly (and handsome, he mumbled) rogue Discord to justice! After which, well, we'll see how things play out. Farewell, you suckers- er, I mean...nope, actually, you deserve that one. I mean seriously, my main campaign promise was to institute a spy agency made entirely out of animals wearing fedoras! Those haven't even been invented yet! And it didn't even have a cool acronym."

With that, he vanished in a puff of smoke, leaving a slightly puzzled crowd behind.

The TARDIS...

"Sweetie, I couldn't help but overhear who the mayor we elected was. And..."

"Yes, yes, I heard it too. So that explains the "Discord takes over legally" article in Equestria Daily. And here I thought that tabloids never print the truth."

"At least they all realized that all their laws need some cleaning out after a thousand plus years, and not just the Luna-related ones."

"Right. Good. Crisis averted. Let's keep moving before she finds us. Its only a matter of time before she figures out a way to bypass all of this and just teleport herself in here."

Two time periods and one change to history later...

"Doctor! Did we just hit something? I thought this was the only TARDIS left!"

"It is! Unless its just me again. I'd like that; I'd get another chance to see my old self again, plus I already know how to avoid Belgium."

The inter-TARDIS communicator(which was covered with dust for obvious reasons) suddenly crackled to life. "Hey. I'm so sorry about the collision, I'm kinda new at this. Can we set down somewhere so I can make sure I didn't cause any damage?"

"Yes, very well."

"Um, Doctor? Nothing got damaged."

"Yes, I know, but I haven't been in a wreck in so long that I actually am just doing this for the experience. Plus, I haven't met a time traveller who isn't out to kill me, marry me, or mock me with her career choices in even longer. And besides, if I don't know where I'm going, how can she?"

"I'd tell you, but I resent your comment about my profession, so I'll let you deal with your logic flaws on your own this time."

A nameless wasteland...

The stranger's time machine resembled an egg with landing tines. Given the tech it was working with, the inventor would have had to have been a genius with bottomless pockets to construct it. And by the looks of the pilot, he was neither. The doctor wasn't puzzled by the silver hair, the outfit, or even the five-foot sword. All normal things to one part of the universe or another. No, what was surprising was the fact that the stranger was an ape-no, they called themselves human. The human(odd word, that) walked over to the TARDIS.

"I'm really sorry you...guys. ...You're time-travelling horses."

"No, we're not. The technical term is ponies, though I am a Time Lord, and my companion here is half of one."

"Heh. Never thought I'd run into another bi-species person-er, pony. I'm Trunks."

" The Doctor, and this is River Song. Our machine is quite alright, but is yours?"

"Yeah, pretty much. My mom builds tough. So, since you evolved from equines, I'm guessing I'm in some sort of weird parallel universe?"

"I resent the word weird, but yes. I'd suggest retracing your steps to just before you hit me, then inputting your home coordinates. After that, you just try your original destination again, and hopefully the lack of my interference will get you there."

"Thanks a ton. Safe travels!"

"You as well."

The half human guided his machine back into the vortex, with a very familiar sound as the engine accelerated.

"What?! But that-that's the noise the TARDIS makes. Get back here! I'll sue!"

"Oh calm down. You know it only does that because you leave the brakes on, and I notice you haven't fixed that despite the supposed severity of the situation."

"I'll have you know that there is a very good reason they're on. I just won't tell you now. Hmmm, this is actually a rather nice world. Its a perfect spot to-"

"You can't hide from loooooove!"

"-run as fast as we can!!"

Four locations and two more changes to history later...

"Oh wonderful. I guess that collision did do something-we're in a parallel universe! Oh well. Maybe it'll be harder for her to get here."

The Doctor emerged from the TARDIS and surveyed his surroundings. A flat, not too run-down nor too fancy. From what he knew of humans, the tech level was early 21st century. Bedroom and kitchen, a wall with bullet holes in it, violin music, a-wait. 21st century. Bullet holes in a wall. Violin music... Oh.

As the Doctor dealt with his horrifying realization, the music stopped and the man making it stepped into the room. "Who are you and why are you here? Wait, don't tell me, you're a time traveller running from a personal problem. Well, I-"

"RIVER! GET US OUT OF HERE! ANYWHERE ELSE, I LITERALLY DO NOT CARE!!!"

The TARDIS quickly left the flat, as if it knew the reason for the Doctor's fear.

The man watched the large blue box fade out of existence. "Don't take any more drugs, they said. They make you see things that aren't there, they said. Pah."

The TARDIS...

"I hesitate to ask, but why exactly...?"

"When I met my human counterpart, he warned me about this universe. Said there were unspeakably horrific forces that wanted nothing more than to permanently merge my universe and that one, and that they'd stop at nothing to do so. Also, for whatever reason, I got the same feeling I have whenever Derpy closes in-as if the universe is forcing me into a relationship that defies sanity."

"...How...?"

"Muffin button" the Doctor sighed defeatedly.

Three time periods, and yet another change to history later...

"All right. That taffy-spider web should hold her for a few minutes. Now we just need to get out here and hide. There's an abandoned space station here and..." the Doctor's words died in his throat as he stepped out into a very much occupied space station, facing a horde of metallic eyestalks.

"THE. DOCTOR. IS. HERE!"

"EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!"

"Well, at least I didn't say 'it can't get any worse.'"

To be concluded...

OOC: I've always imagined that Discord's go-to pony form is that of a tall, thin stallion with a knee-length mustache and a tall, thin top hat. Think Gustav the silent movie villain as a pony.

Session 54.1 Devcon101

"...Good luck to all, and may the best mind controller/hypnotist win!"

The image of the unicorn starting the contest played upon the water’s surface, the scrying spell giving full view of what was transpiring. In front of the pool sat a huge stone basin filled with brine water that softly glowed with a sickly green color. Within the water was a huge brain that rested just above the waters surface. Surrounding the brain were a collection of long tentacles, lazily swung over the sides of the basin. The Elder Brain watched with glee, joined by a large number of ponies with squid-like heads , each wearing long, black robes. The Elder Brain let out a telepathic chuckle.

"Those fools have given us one of the best opportunities we’ve had yet! Now all we have to do is wait, and they will seize control of all of Equestria for us! And once control of their minds goes to us, the denizens of this realm will be nothing more than our enthralled cattle! They’ve doomed their entire world, and all over an idiotic contest!"

The Elder Brain let out a telepathic booming, evil cackle, joined by the cackle of the many illithids around him...except for one. The brain soon noticed this, and stopped laughing as it seemed to look at him.

"And why aren’t you laughing, Larry?"

"Well, my lord, I mean no offense, but it’s not exactly that...funny"

"Not funny, hmm?...I see. You know what is funny, though, Larry?"

"...W-wha-"

The illithid before the Elder Brain suddenly found himself picked up telepathically and repeatedly slammed against the walls of the room, then the floor, then the ceiling, then in an arch, before being spun around in the air and smashed down where he was previously.

"Your pain, Larry. It’s hilarious."

Session 54.2 Alex Warlorn

A illithid with glasses then added, "But the mind control contest is a yearly thing... like all those other yearly things pony talk about only seem to ever happen once... So wouldn't we have done this before?"

"SILENCE BARRY! You want to paradox us out of existence?! Now prepare the invasion!"

"The preparation will be longer than you think." A towering green pony the size of a sky scrapper in a business suit with bat wings and a tentacled face appeared.

"PONYTHULU!!!"

"Yes. And I'm here to inform you that after the debacle with the changeling emperor masquerade within a masquerade conspiracy within a conspiracy, all new 'ominous from the shadows' groups species and entities, that are not legally recognized by the Equestrian Codex, must fill out this forum."

A rem of paper work the size of a mountain a appeared.

"But... but... it'll take us a million years to fill all that out!"

"Three million, it's needed in triple format."

Session 54.3 Ardashir

The Equestrian Mind Control Contest didn't take long to get into trouble.

"Uh, Miss Twilight?" Twilight looked down from her position near the top of her bookshelf, where she'd been searching for a book on how to get out of this crazy contest, to see the Cutie Mark Crusaders somewhat reluctantly coming up to her. Apple Bloom moved to stand before her two friends. Scootaloo stood close by Sweetie Belle as though in support, while the little unicorn filly smiled mindlessly. "Can we
ask ya' somethin'?"

"Huh? Sure, you know you can ask me anything," Twilight said, before feeling a chill.

"It's just, well," Apple Bloom trailed one hoof along the ground, not quite looking her in the eyes. "It's 'bout thet mind controllin' contest y'all an' those other folks are doing."

"Oh, no!" Twilight dropped down by them. "Girls, I am SO sorry! I swore never to mind control anypony again - uh, unless I really had to -- but I never thought that contest would make trouble for Ponyville!"

Scootaloo tilted her head. "You didn't think that a bunch of mind controlling spellcasters trying to outdo each other would be a problem?" Twilight blushed.

"Yeah," Apple Bloom said. "Everypony was leavin' school when we saw this tent nearby with a sign on it sayin' that it contained th' most amazin' show in Equestria, free o' charge..."

"Oh, no," Twilight breathed out. Discord, or Adagio, or Chrysalis? They hadn't - not with FOALS, surely!

"So we all went over to look inside," Scootaloo said. "Inside there was just this canvas with a hole in it just big enough for a pony to stick their head through, right under a sign reading 'Don't Look In Here! You Will Be Mind Controlled! And Get Free Ice Cream!'" Now Scootaloo looked embarassed.

"How many of you looked?" Twilight groaned.

"Almost everypony in our class," Apple Bloom said. Twilight felt faint. Bloom pointed at Sweetie. "Every pony thet did, we saw something like little sparks shoot out from inside an' turn their eyes green. Finally, after Sweetie looked and started saying, 'Miz Chrysalis is the best tyrant ever! She's so much better than thet nasty old Starlight Glimmer!' Well, Diamond Tiara walked up then, an' she had some big thing covered with a canvas. She said she'd run home ta bring it back. Said her Ma and Pa bought it after th' last time everypony in town got mind controlled as protection."

"And?" Twilight asked, dreading the answer.

"Well, Diamond said, 'Ah'm stickin' mah head through!' An' then she uncovered this big ol' mirror and stuck it in th' hole!"

"Then what?" Twilight asked, knowing she'd hate the answer.

Scootaloo spoke up. "Well, then we heard a yell from inside, and a moment later Queen Chrysalis came out looking kinda dazed. Diamond Tiara asked her ta hop on two legs and she did. Then Diamond told her to bow, and Chrysalis did. Diamond just kinda laughed then. Next Diamond told everypony else ta go home and do their chores and homework. And she left with Queen Chrysalis following her."

"Wait, Diamond was able to make Chrysalis' mind control backfire? HAH!" Twilight froze in mid laugh as she thought of what this could mean. The mind control abilities of Queen Chrysalis, in the hooves of a angry and bullying foal?

What horrors were in their future?

"Hey!" Diamond Tiara yelled at her family's newest maid. "Be careful when you clean those shelves! Grand-Dad spent a lot of time getting those imported crystals!"

"Yes, Mistress Diamond," Chrysalis, dressed in a maid's uniform from Prance, said in a monotone as she slowly dusted the shelves.

In the doorway, Spoiled and Filthy Rich watched in horror. Diamond trotted up to them, almost dancing for joy.

"Look Mom, now we have a maid we can keep, because you don't have to worry about her 'wanting to get ridden by Dad' and firing her. Er, what does that mean anyway?"

"Actually, Miss Twilight?" Apple Bloom shook her head. "We really ain't worried about thet. Diamond ain't so bad any more."

Scootaloo nodded. "We wanted to know, can you make Chrysalis give us all the free ice cream she promised?"

Session 54.4 Alex Warlorn

"Mayor Mare! You can't be okay with this mind control contest!" Princess Twilight Sparkle said teleporting into the Mayor's office.

The Mayor's chair turned around. "I'm okay with it if Starlight Glimmer is okay with it." Said Mayor Mare smiling with pin prick eyes.

"Yes, if Starlight Glimmer thinks it's okay, then it's okay." Added Raven, Mayor Mare (and sometimes Celestia's) loyal assistant, also smiling with pin prick eyes. The two of them getting more paper work done and running the office more efficiently then they had in a long while. As such, very few ponies were complaining.

Discord telported in. "Now Dear Mayor it's time..." She saw their smiles. "DANGIT she got here first!" He teleported away.

"Mayor Mare! They've taken what Accord did to Equestria and made it a contest!"

"Oh Accord imprinted his identity on every pony he absorbed remember? This time I can actually appreciate not having that heavy free will. It's a lot more liberating and relaxing than I ever thought it would be. Starlight Glimmer was right, like she always is, that it would help me get more done today."

Session 54.5 Alex Warlorn (Spoilers for IDW FiM #52)

What none of the foals playing different species, let along the guests instructors acting as their guide in the 'game' of stopping the fictional Time Breakers... was a gray unicorn stallion with a scar across his face and a book cutie mark to appear.

"I am here to save Equestria. Good news is that none of you will have to study history ever again, because history begins today." And began blasting objects, places, and historical 'people', leaving white voids in their place. Worse, Cheerilee realized she couldn't remember what had even BEEN in the white voids!

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Dragon Cheerilee roared.

"Just as I said. I'm saving Equestria. The only way to keep the great evil trapped in the past is to destroy it. Any knowledge to its existence is a threat. If I leave so much as an outline, a threat can remain. I must obliterate ALL history to save Equestria and Ponykind from doom." The stallion continued to obliterate pages of history from existence from within the enchanted comic with reckless abandon.

Session 54.6 Ardashir EDITED!

Discord appeared beside the river running through Ponyville. "Yoo-hoo! Steve Magnet! It's been several seasons since we saw you, so..."

Steve Magnet was already there, his eyes swirling as Adagio in her Siren form sang to him. A Kelpie swam beside him, wearing a crudely lettered sign reading, JUST A POSER.

"You are SO right, dear," he said, his voice seeming empty. "I simply MUST start competing with the other, less fashionable river serpents. My cousins Nessie and Morag have been getting SO full of themselves."

"I will obey, Mistress Adagio," the Kelpie mumbled. "You are my master."

Adagio smirked at Discord. "Get lost, creepy. These two are mine."

"Blast it!" Discord snapped his claws and vanished.

Only to reappear in Canterlot, in the Sun Palace. "I'll probably get in trouble for this, but I'm not about to lose now --" He broke off as he saw Sunset Shimmer standing between Celestia and Luna, both of them with very wide pupils and broad smiles on their faces

"OH COME ON!" Discord vanished with a huff.

"What was that all about?" Celestia asked. She looked around, walking carefully as though barely able to see. She almost knocked a vase over. "Was that Discord?"

Behind her and Luna, the Royal Optometrist walked out, rolling up his eye charts for their regular exam. "Your majesties," he said, "Please remember, you'll have difficulty seeing for an hour or so. Be careful until then."

"We will, Doctor Oculus," Celestia said to a marble pillar beside her. "My, but you look pale. But again, was that Discord?"

"It was," Sunset Shimmer said as she magically grabbed the vase. "Uh, I guess he was here about the mind control contest."

"What mind control contest?" Luna asked, blinking desperately. "And when do these eyedrops wear off? I can barely see anything!"

Session 54.7 Devcon101

"Thanks again for accompanying me," Starlight looked over to Twilight with a smile.

"It was nothing really. I’m just excited to actually see Lich-tenstein, considering its been ages since anypony that’s not undead has been there!" Twilight smiled back. "Though I still can’t believe Pinkie was right about zombie ponies being real." Twilight blinked, almost swearing she could hear Pinkie say "I told you so." Must have been the wind.

Lich-tenstein was one of the lesser kingdoms of Germaneigh, one of the only regions of all Equestria where undead coexisted peacefully with the living. And that morning Starlight, oddly enough, had received an invitation to Lich-tenstein by its matriarch for a roleplay game, and, after some convincing by Twilight, had decided to answer. Still, the mare could only ask one question: Why? Why would she have been asked over by the matriarch of a kingdom she didn’t know about until that morning?

Her thoughts were soon interrupted by the sound of thundering hoof-steps, as before the two a large, black, ornate carriage came into view, pulled by two massive, skeletal horses. The carriage quickly pulled up before the two, as its driver’s examined the two mares before them. The door to the carriage opened with a loud creak, and out stepped the grand matriarch of Lich-tenstein, identifiable by the large, black, jewel-adorned crown they wore.

The matriarch appeared at first as a tall, skeletal unicorn, two glowing green orbs in its sockets trained on the two ponies before it. However, it was mere moments after exiting the carriage that the skeleton’s horn glowed violet in color, a similar glow surrounding its entire form it took on the visage of a living, unicorn mare with pale purple skin and dark purple hair that had one long blue stripe going down it. The corners of the lich’s mouth turned up into a small smile as she saw Starlight, who looked before her in shock as things began to make sense as to why she had been invited. Of course, it had only ended up giving her more questions. Lots more questions.

"...M-mom?" Starlght asked, staring in disbelief at Lich-tenstein’s matriarch who simply gave an affirmative nod, clearly a silent type.

Session 54.8 Devcon101

All throughout the illithid complex, the mind flayers all clutched several sheets of paper, writing down responses to the questions posed upon them. The Elder Brain took a good majority of the workload, finishing one paper before picking up another one and starting again. Ponythulhu’s paper work would take about 3 million years, so they wished to get it done quickly.

Suddenly, however, one illithid in a top hat came up to the elder brain.

"My Lord!", he exclaimed, "I think I’ve found us a way to begin the invasion millions of years ahead of schedule!"

"How, Jerry?" The Elder Brain put down his paper to "look" at him.

"Two words, my lord: Time Travel. By the time we finish this paper work, time spells will probably be much more common and easy to find. So we write a note to ourselves telling future us to send the finished papers back in time to this point, allowing us to finally begin the plan!"

"...Jerry, you are a genius!" The Elder Brain laughed. "And if you’re right, they should be appearing right….now!" Suddenly, a time portal opened in front of them both, and out dropped a mountain of papers.

"Yes! Now we can begin our invasion!" One mind flayer went up to the mountain and took off one of the sheets.

"Actually, my lord, these aren’t the filled out sheets."

"WHAT?! What are they then?!"

"The paperwork for using such a long distance time travel spell. But look on the bright side, my lord! This one says it doesn’t have to be in triple format!"

That mind flayer soon found himself suffering a similar fate to Larry.

Session 54.9 QuartzScale

Strangely enough Bon Bon was busy this week leaving Derpy with a new cadre of ponies taking the charge for her Muffin theaters as she called them. On her right stood her steadfast friend Lyra, absent mindedly eating a muffin. While on her right for a rare treat was Mayor Mare who was talking about that whole debacle with the mind control contest that swept through Ponyville earlier that month. Next to Lyra was Minuette who was visiting for the week due to something about dental work needed in Ponyville and the concept of her own office. It truly was a cavalcade of strange faces tonight. Soon enough the muffins went down to the last muffin. While Minuette excused herself from the last muffin the other two mares didn’t.

"Who would like the last muffin?" Derpy chirped out.

"ME!"

The two sized each other up only to suddenly be swept away into the cascading magic of the Muffin button beneath the hoof of a very funny mail mare. Lyra immediately was in her red suit with the fancy cravat around her neck. She instantly looked confident and content.

Minuette panicked for a moment only to come back down wearing long brown faux leather gloves and a large blue scarf around her neck billowing in the wind even though they were inside a building. Her mane was styled into a bun while two needles were keeping its shape in her mane. The two needles for some reason turned out to be dental equipment. Near her hoof was a small device with the words Little Thief on it.

Mayor Mare changed even more than that. She was instantly wearing what seemed like a military suit complete with shoulder pads and several medals on her barrel. Her gray mane was frazzled and she seemed to look frail at the moment though her eyes said otherwise. Near her was a small wooden cane though the handle seemed to be out of place for some reason. In seconds something changed and the room didn’t turn into a courtroom.

"Please state your cases?" Derpy shook her hoof out while Minuette watched in rapt attention.

"Of course Derpy. As a close friend of yours that muffin belongs to me especially after I was given the short end of the straw and received a bran muffin. That was a mistake that should be rectified in no time at all. And to this court I submit that no one deserves that muffin more than me.

OBJECTION!

Mayor Mare instantly stopped slouching standing up as straight as possible. What looked like a frail old mare instantly became the equivalent of a powerful guardspony general. Little time passed between that and Lyra’s jaw dropping.

"As the leader of this town," Mayor Mare quietly whispered to herself "Not including Princess Twilight," Her voice regained its volume. "I deserve the muffin especially for dealing with several times the town has been taken over, the mind control schemes, the constant destruction of property, and the ravings of a princess who easily falls into mind control situations like the debacle that happened a few weeks ago. I don’t need to tell you just how out of hand that got. I still don’t remember who won that disaster."

OBJECTION!

"I deserve that muffin for somehow ending up in this situation. I don’t even know why I’m here for this except that this scarf makes me look utterly badass. Now I can hunt down those cavities before they get out of hand. NINJA FLASH!" Minuette instantly shot a light spell into the room stunning everyone. At the same time Derpy pressed the muffin button before she could do so.

When the light faded Minuette fell flat on her face stunned from the sudden use of a spell that grandiose. Lyra and Mayor Mare looked around in confusion and noticed that the muffin was gone. When Minuette finally rolled over the muffin was beneath her… crushed and unate. Derpy immediately rushed to the muffins side. She cradled it’s crumbling body tenderly as tears fell down her cheeks. Minuette looked away saddened at making her cry but instead of being mad Derpy just hugged her.

"I’m sorry for ruining your muffin…" Her voice was breaking and Minuette just cried back as well.

After an impromptu ceremony for the General Flaky Crust Muffin Extraordinaire the mares all sat down and enjoyed a collection of fresh muffins. Each held a moment of silence before eating. That night Derpy knew what it meant to truly be a muffin living on the edge.

Session 54.10 Mtangalion

Judging by her mussed mane, Princess Twilight was already a little unhinged, and she and her friends hadn’t even started their usual weekly O&O session yet. That was never a good sign.

Twilight tapped her hoof on the Cutie Map table. "Let’s get started, everypony! Tonight, we’re going to be adventuring across a broken land!" She teleported something onto the table. It might have once been a landscape miniature set, before somepony melted it, fed it to a taffy machine, and possibly set it on fire. "One where time and space have no meaning that can be expressed by conventional physics!"

Rarity gave Twilight a delicate frown, the one she usually reserved for customers who were praising her for a garment that they’d managed to put on inside-out. "That does sound exciting, darling, but what about the adventure we were engaged in last week?"

Rainbow Dash flew up out of her throne, sniffing at the miniature set and making a revolted face. "Yeah! We were going to storm the castle and kick Baron Lame Yard’s flank!"

Fluttershy raised a hoof. "Um… I’m sorry, but it was Baron Lanyard. I think…"

"Yeah, Lame Yard, like I said!" Dash hovered in Twilight’s face. "What gives?"

Twilight chuckled to herself. "Yes, we were about to do something like that." She looked pointedly at Rainbow. "Until some adventurer decided to put a Bag of Holding inside another Bag of Holding. Disregarding, I might add, the warnings of a concerned priest passing by, the local barkeep, the head of her entire guild, and the goddess of magic herself!"

"Whaaat?! Oh, come on! All of those ponies warning us were just you talking in different funny voices!"

"It’s my duty as the Oubliette Overseer, Dash. Also, Baron Lanyard and all of his evil minions might have kind of fallen into the Astral Plane and been replaced by a clan of beholders and an archfiend from the Beyond."

"Ooh, can we make friends with them?" asked Pinkie Pie, bouncing in her seat. "And share cake and teach them the meaning of smiles and parties, and journey into the planar rifts in search of the lost muffin dimension?"

Twilight blinked. "What? Er… we might! Anything could happen!"

Applejack groaned. "Now, hold on just a sec, Twi. Ah’ve read that Oubliette Overseein’ Manual too, and it only said that the Bags of Holding would just plum vanish, and open a hole to the astral plane. It didn’t say a thing about destroyin’ the whole universe!"

"It didn’t say so explicitly," said Twilight brightly, "but the implications of the paradox are clear, at least for a universe where such destructive transdimensional interactions are possible, unlike our own, thankfully." She teleported a blackboard into the room behind her, tapping several key equations with a levitated piece of chalk.

Applejack stamped over to the chalkboard in a huff and snatched the chalk with a hoof, adding more equations to the board. "Eenope. Paradoxes don’t work like that. See here? When you solve for this integral, the equation only has imaginary solutions, so the interaction isn’t physically possible, and it just won’t happen."

Twilight’s mouth fell open. "Well… that’s a rather simplistic view of arcanoquantum theory! If you apply Hoofenberg’s principle…"

Pinkie Pie beamed and shrugged at Rarity, Fluttershy, and Dash. "I’ll go get the Crystals and Rainbows set."

Session 54.11 Alex Warlorn

"WELCOME! TO LEGENDS OF THE HIDDEN TEMPLE!" Discord declared dressed up like Daring Do.

He was in front of a twelve room stone building in cliche Aztec/Inca/Maya design in a deep jungle. It was surrounded by a moat and a series of steps, followed by a buncha of what might have been an obstacle course, or playground equipment.

"And today we have six teams of foals who will be competing for one of the mysterious artifacts located within The Hidden Temple! And those teams are!:

The Red Jaguars, Apple Bloom and Tender Taps!"

And audience of various creatures cheered for each announced team.

"Blue Barracudas, Sweetie Belle and Button Mash!"

"Green Monkeys, Twist and Truffle!"

"Orange Iguanas, Scootaloo and Rumble!"

"Silver Snakes, Babs - Pipsqueak!"

"And finally, Purple Parrots, Diamond Tiara and Featherweight!"

"Why can't I be partnered with Silver Spoon?!"

"Because the rules say that each team have to be a colt and a filly."

"What about Randolph?!"

"Your butler is WAAAY over the age limit!"

"So are we gonna be turned into stuff?" Apple Bloom asked.

Discord smiled. "Now what makes you say that?"

The foals all gave him a sullen look.

"Okay maybe you will, but I promise you'll be reverted later, Draconequus', I mean, Fluttershy's friend's honor! Unless this is an alternate universe, which of course it isn't!"

"WAIT A MINUTE!" Daring Do flew in. "First, that temple is a mockery of several dead culture! Second, you better not put any foals in danger! And finally, If I remember right, this show is supposed to have a thousands of year old STATUE cohost!"

Discord paled. "NO! No no no! Nonono!"

"Is Discord, the ultimate showman, really going to do things halfway?" Daring Do smirked.

Discord snarled, breathing fire. "FINE!!!!" He snapped his fingers. And a giant stone of himself appeared in his place. "ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!" The status asked with a sullen look.

"Very," Daring Do said, picking up the magic microphone. "This show is composed of four rounds. First four teams across the moat move on, and be told the story of the artifact from our host, heh. Then first two teams across the steps of knowledge, and then the beat out of three teams for the temple games, and the last team will make a run for the temple which you may or may not succeed at, look out for the temple guards, the pendants you win in the games will protect you once. Now! Start kayaking!"

The six teams began to kayak across the moat.

Scoots and Rumble didn't seem to be doing so bad, except, "Dash is best!"

"No! Thunderlane is best!" They tried to out paddle each other and capsized.

And Twist and Truffle... weren't the most physical of earth ponies.

"So we have our teams!" Discord said. "And you can pretty much guess what happens next!"

In a flash, Twist and Truffle assumed 'see no evil' and 'speak no evil' poses, and transformed into jade monkey statues and appeared in the temple. As for Scootaloo and Rumble, they turned into a purple and gray teenage dragons dressed in jungle outfits with spears inside the temple, their minds focused on guarding it.

"Knew it," Apple Bloom sighed.

"Now, what shall be the artifact our heroes are after today Discord?" Daring Do asked.

(Someone else feel free to write what comes next!)

Session 54.12 Devcon101

`Saxy took a sip of her drink as she stared down at her cards, taking the occasional glance at Octavia who sat at the other end of the table. It had taken some convincing, but she’d managed to get the mare to play a game of poker. Of course, they weren’t betting anything, considering it was one of Octavia’s first times playing (at least to her knowledge), but Saxy was not one to purposely lose or "go easy" on anyone. To do so was like an insult to the game itself.

"If we were betting anything sis, I’d raise." Saxy smiled at Octavia, who nodded.

"I’d call."

Saxy was first to lay down her cards, revealing a Strait Flush. Normally she would’ve cheated herself a Royal, but for her first time she thought she’d give Octavia more of a fair game. Some would call that going easy, but to Saxy cheating, despite having no problem with it, was still cheating in Poker, and so to not was technically not going easy. Octavia smiled as she herself set down a Royal flush. Saxy blinked, surprised, before smiling in return.

"Seems I’m beat, sis." She took a long swig of her drink, giving a small satisfied sigh as she got up.

"I’m feeling generous today, sis. I know we technically aren’t celebrating your birthday for another few days..." she trailed off, heading into the other room. They had wanted to celebrate her birthday that past weekend, but due to a myriad of other complications, including that Hypnosis Contest – Saxy shuddered, remembering what that draconequus had done to her and Tavi when he found they hadn’t yet been claimed – they’d postponed it to a few days from now. She soon came back in with a wrapped up box.

"...but I think a mare’s first Royal flush deserves to be celebrated, y’know?." She slid the box over to Octavia, who blinked.

"Well, I know I shouldn’t open my gifts until the party, but if you insist..." Octavia slowly and delicately removed the paper, before opening the box, revealing...a pair of fancy headphones. Octavia blinked, examining them.

"...Saxy, I believe you may have accidentally wrapped up one of Vinyl’s packages." Saxy shook her head.

"Nope. I know you dropped out of your DJ dreams some time ago and…," She paused, giving an irritated sigh, "...began liking Classical..."

She spat the words out like venom. The Melody family liked many types of music (Saxy liked Jazz, their mother lived for Rock, and their cousin Fiddlesticks adored Country, to give a few examples), but the one genre that no Melody liked, except for Octavia it seemed, was Classical.

"...but I thought you still might like a pair." Octavia gave them a look over, hesitating.

"Put em’ on before I take them back to the store. Those things weren’t cheap."

"...I suppose I can get Vinyl to put some Beethoofen on these" she finally said, putting them on, only for Saxy to stroll over and turn them on, the sounds of his work beginning to play.

"Already took care of that. Happy...What do they call it nowadays? Late birthday? Unbirthday?"

"I think late birthday will do." Octavia gave a soft smile, before it turned into a playful smirk.

"Up for another round? I’m feeling lucky today."

"Thatta girl! Though don’t get too cocky. I have years on ya" Saxy said with a smug grin as she sat down and took a drink, before shuffling the cards.

Later...

Saxy’s jaw dropped as Octavia beat her for the eighty-seventh time in a row.

"...Sis, you and me really need to go to Las Pegasus sometime."

Session 54.13 Devcon101

The two doors to the Lich-tenstein throne room slowly creaked open to allow inside Twilight, Starlight and the lich Aurora Glimmer, the kingdom’s matriarch. Lit by large torches placed in equal intervals along the wall, the throne room was notably somewhat smaller than Celestia and Luna’s throne room, being about as large as Twilight’s. Hung on the walls were large paintings of previous rulers of Lich-tenstein, while hanging above the throne was a painting of Aurora Glimmer herself. The throne, meanwhile, was made entirely out of bones and skulls of an assortment of different creatures. Before the throne a large, round table had been set up, a multitude of other bone seats set around it. Sitting in one of the other seats was a living unicorn mare, a mare who’s appearance looked akin to a pony version of a human Twilight had heard of from her human world counterpart.

"You really need to bring some back up when you head out. One of these days you might need it." The white haired, blue coated mare looked up from a large book she had been reading, staring at the matriarch who simply rolled her eyes.

Aurora trotted up to her throne and sat down, motioning for her guests to sit down as well, which, reluctantly, they did, not exactly comfortable to be sitting upon chairs constructed from bones. The matriarch’s horn lit up, and a large grid formed over the table. She proceeded to levitate two books over to them, along with two character sheets. They were player’s handbooks to Ogres and Oubliettes, though based on the cover it seemed it was a Lich-tenstein version, demonstrating some undead characters among the party and a replacement of the skeletons they had been fighting with goblins. She then got out books and character sheets for her and "Sugar." Twilight and Starlight gave a quick look through the book, noticing major changes within compared to their version.

"Take your time." The deep, booming, almost demonic sounding voice of the matriarch rang through the throne room, somewhat startling Twilight and Starlight who had yet to hear her speak until then, before Aurora summoned a small floating platform between herself and the table, upon which she placed a GM screen and began setting up everything she would need to run. "Sugar", not phased by the queen suddenly speaking, proceeded to begin flipping through her book as well, the room getting eerily quiet. Twilight and Starlight proceeded to both open up their books in turn and started to read through the handbooks, which almost seemed like an entirely new, yet quite similar system to the two.

(Anyone else may feel free to write what comes next)

Session 54.14 Devcon101

Sunburst read through a book within his small little hostel, enjoying a cup of tea in silence when he heard a loud rapping at his door. He quickly dusted off his robes and got up from his seat, trotting over to the door. The doorknob glowed orange as he opened it with his magic, looking up to see a ghastly sight.

Right in front of his door floated a wraith in a tattered suit and tie, its skull face looking down upon the stallion before it. The spirit seemingly cleared its throat.

"Good evening. Sunburst, I presume?" The wraith spoke in a deep, raspy voice as Sunburst looked upon it in fear, giving a nod.

"W-w-why yes, I am..." Sunburst stammered, going through his head all the protection spells against powerful spirits he knew.

"My name is Arkyric. Now, according to the grand matriarch of the kingdom of Lich-tenstein, you wish to "date" the heir to the throne, Starlight Glimmer. Is that correct?"

"...Wait, Starlight’s an heir to a kingdom?" Its eyes narrowed slightly.

"Answer the question Sunburst."

"...W-why yes, I do...i-is that a bad thing?" The wraith shook its head.

"No, no. Nothing wrong with that. However, there are two things I am here for. For one, if you plan to date and later marry the kingdom’s sole heir, it means you yourself will become at least co-ruler of the kingdom. As such, there is many, many things you will need to know to be effective in this role. Having a good understanding of the deep, rich history of Lich-tenstein will be a good place to start." The wraith raised its hoof, which glowed with an eerie purple glow. A large tome appeared in a small flash, the wraith handing it over to Sunburst, who looked upon its cover, which read "Lich-tenstein: Home to the Living and Dead" by Victor Halperein.

"That should cover most of the centuries long history of the kingdom." Sunburst looked at its size.

"...It’s kind of small for such a large topic."

"Lich-tenstein books are enchanted to contain far more than normally would be possible. That book contains somewhere over a three million pages worth of knowledge. I’d get started reading if I were you."

"Over three million?!" The wraith turned away, but paused, as if remembering something.

"Ah yes, I nearly forgot. The matriarch also sent with me this letter for me to read to you." The spirit summoned a large scroll, which upon being opened dropped to the ground and began rolling down the stairs that went up to Sunburst’s home. The wraith gave a quick scan over the letter.

"To save us both time I’ll summarize. The Queen says that, if you truly are dating her daughter, to either break off with her or get off your sorry butt and treat her like a gentleman should, for so far she feels you have been inadequate in those regards. She also made note to inform you that if you continue this "dating" and still choose to ignore her sweetheart that...well, to quote, "...your sorry self should know from ignoring and deserting my dear and instead burying your face into books what exactly incurring the wrath of an arch-lich entails"...I would head her warning if I were you."

The wraith rolled back up the scroll, giving a slight bow, before turning once more and beginning to float away.

"Send a letter once you’re finished with that book. There’s much more you still need to do after it. Good day, Sunburst."

And with that, the wraith flew off, leaving Sunburst standing there, trying to comprehend everything that had just happened.

Session 54.15 Devcon101

Rarity’s eyes scanned over the pages of the Ogres and Oubliettes Monstrous Codex. With Twilight and Starlight gone off to Lich-tenstein to attend a game with the matriarch and her adviser, she was set to run the next game session for the rest of the party in Twilight’s place. And so she searched through the codex, looking for creatures that would make for good encounters.

Currently her eyes were looking through the section on lycanthropes, of which the codex had several; werebears, wereboars, werebeavers, weretimberwolves, just to name a few, and the one Rarity was currently looking at, wererats. According to the codex, wererats were known for being sly, avaricious thieves with a liking for cheese.

‘Almost just like Suri’ the unicorn mused, before continuing on to the section on werecrocodiles, which the book claimed were much different from werealligators.

Elsewhere…

"Give me the cheese." Suri stared down at a small rat, who sat atop a rather large wheel of mozzarella.

"Squeak squeak." Suri gave it a look, holding away the decently sized hunk of cheddar she had in her hooves.

"What?! No you can’t have my cheese! Look, just give it over, mmkay?"

Suri reached for the wheel, only to get her hoof bitten by the little vermin.

"Ow! Why you little…!" Suri smacked the rat of the cheese, causing it to scamper off while shouting a colorful variety of curses at her and her kin. Suri rolled her eyes and took the cheese wheel, putting it and her cheddar side by side as she began to devour both at the same time, her teeth oddly seeming more rat like than pony as she ate.

Session 54.16 Alex Warlorn

"DISCORD THIS ISN'T FUNNY WHAT YOU DID TO SURI!" Buttons shouted.

"How would you know if, I mean, why would I do be doing something like that?" Discord asked as the pony burst into Fluttershy's cottage, startling the animals.

Buttons pointed at her Mickey Mouse like ears and overbite.

"Oh right... you're the same pony, so whatever happens to her happens to you, my bad." Discord sighed and snapped his fingers, undoing Suri's and thus Buttons' transformation. "There? Happy?"

"Yes."

"Discord!" Fluttershy frowned.

"Oh, sorry Fluttershy."

"Apologize to them!"

"Sorry Buttons."

"Apologize to Suri too! Why did you even do this?!"

"I thought it would be funny! What with were creatures being non-existent down this pants leg of reality, I thought I'd create a were-rat for fun! Confuse the professionals again on what exists and what doesn't! Most just assume they messed up when they declared that creature non-existent.. like when I created that flying pig after that photographer made up one!"

Fluttershy blushed. "Oh my."

Discord sighed. "Fine! I apologize to Suri too!"

"But first! You're going to play whatever game Buttons wants."

"Do I have to?"

Fluttershy stared at him. "Oh. Okay. So what game?"

"Well..." Buttons said. "You and the flower trio can all play with me, 'Equalize The Elitist', you try to convert as many Elitists as possible to the wisdom of Equality first!"

"They actually LET YOU publish that brainwashing piece of propaganda?" Discord exasperated.

"It's a free country. Teleport Suri here, and she can play too!"

Session 54.17 Devcon101

Starlight jotted down the information on her character, eyes darting between the Lich-tenstein Ogres and Oubliettes Player’s Handbook that lay open before her and her character sheet. She had decided to play a mummy cleric, and was formulating the personality and backstory in her head as she wrote down all the statistical information upon her sheet. Of course, it wasn’t the only thing on her mind.

"Mom, where’s Dad?" Starlight looked up at Aurora, brow raised. Her mother looked out from behind her screen, mouth opened to speak.

"Our patriarch is out taking care of some things. He said he’ll be back in time for the game." "Sugar" spoke, not looking up from making her character. The matriarch shot her advisor an irritated look as her mouth closed, before going back to organizing everything she’d need. Starlight nodded at what seemed to be the pony version of Sugarcoat, before following up her question with another.

"...Is he also a lich?"

Her mother poked her head back out and shook her head.

"Lich, no. Undead, yes." Her booming, almost demonic voice rang through the room once more, now interrupting "Sugar", who’s mouth promptly shut upon the matriarch speaking.

"Then what is he?" The doors to the room soon opened as if to respond to this very question, and a cloaked figure entered the room, everyone at the table looking up and over at the new arrival. The figure pulled the hood of the cloak down, to reveal what looked like the head of a unicorn stallion...formed out of worms, a small crown sitting atop the mass. The worm that walks "smiled".

"Ah, I see our guests have arrived!" Starlight could only stare at what appeared to be her father only now made of worms, blinking once or twice as her mind was rendered even more confused than it had been prior.

Session 54.18 Kendell2

"So...what exactly is this game?" asked Rainbow Dash, looking at a game box that basically looked like the cheesy fiction of decades ago was having a crisis crossover.

"Shining and his group have been making a lot of good games based on old fiction and toylines from when they were younger," Twilight explained, peeking out the window to see Snips and Snails still playing the Dino Riders one with some of their friends down in Ponyville. "Well this is basically a 'make your own' game. Designed for maximum creativity and insanity."

"So we make some crazy story and play it out?" Gilda asked. "Alright, I'm game for that."

The group nodded in agreement.

"Alright," Twilight said, producing the check list. "First off, come up with a setting."

"In space?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Yes, but WHERE in space?" Twilight asked. "The rulebook actually specifies. One example being 'the wild west except in space'."

"Ah'm game fer that one..." Applejack admitted. "But Ah think they've got another game there..."

"Oh! How about a restaurant! Except in space!" Pinkie Pie asked. "Mmm, space cakes..."

"Eh, we can do something better than that!" Rainbow Dash said. "It's kind of boring."

"How Manehatten in space?" Rarity asked. "That sounds wonderful."

No one complained, that was wacky enough.

"Alright, now we need a hero group, preferably one with multiple adjectives that's some crazy thing," Twilight explained. "One example given is blues singing t-rexes by day and armored superheroes by night who fight dino gangsters."

OOC: Basically, this is meant to be some wacky and crazy 70s/80s style cartoon made into a table top RPG. IE, in the veign of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Gobots, Pirates of Dark Water, Inhumanoids, Street Sharks, and so on. Something out there and creative. Feel free to come up with stuff for it.

Session 54.19 Mtangalion

Ponyville was totally trashed! The Friendship Castle was leaning like it might fall over, several rooftops were still smoking, and the Squidoid mothership had landed smack in the middle of town, crushing a whole bunch of houses.

Another dozen Squidoid invaders oozed their way down the landing ramp, bringing the defeated Elements of Harmony with them. Even the furiously struggling Rainbow Dash couldn’t break free of her electro bands! They’d captured Princesses Celestia, Luna, and Cadence too, and the tough ponies like Big Macintosh and Shining Armor were penned up in an energy corral. Even Gabby hadn’t been able to beat the aliens! She and Gilda were stuck in a weird alien birdcage/cat carrier.

"Mwahaha!" The slimy purple Squidoid Commander waved three of his seventeen tentacles in triumph. "Is there no one on this pathetic planet who can answer our challenge? I will ask one more time!" A hatch opened on the spaceship, and hover beams lowered a golden Prance Prance Revolution machine to the ground. "Defeat me in an Ultimate Intergalactic Dance-Off… or your planet will be ours!"

Button Mash adjusted his propeller beanie, then trotted forward with a shivering Sweetie Belle clinging to his flank for reassurance. Button took a long, slow slurp on a straw. "Hold my juice box," he told Sweetie, hoofing it to her. "I’ve got this."

Button Mash sighed, slumped over the kitchen table and stirring his apple corn flakes aimlessly. "I wish aliens would invade so I didn’t have to go to school."

His mother smiled warmly, nosing him. "Yes, dear, I’m sure we’ve all wished that at some point. Hmm, except for Princess Twilight."

Button Mash giggled. "Yeah, not her."

In her sitting room, Princess Twilight lay on the floor, dragging her hooves through her tangled mane. "Ugh… ponies are talking about me again!"

Princess Celestia took a long, thoughtful sip of her tea. "Yes, that happens."

Session 54.20 Alex Warlorn

And outside the undead kingdom, the guards upset at the interruption of their game of rolling of the bones (their own, of course).

"Uh, what are you doing here kid?" Asked the skeleton warrior.

Tootsie Flute, eyes wide and bright said, "Well, mommy told me gramma was talking a really long nap when the ponies in black suits put her in a wooden box and buried her. I was really confused, until I saw Miss Rainbow Dash putting her tortoise in the ground for a really long nap. Except gramma hasn't woke up from her nap yet... Nor have my goldfish or my dog they put in the ground too for a really long nap. I asked this unicorn in a long dark cloak, and they said you could wake them up from their really long nap."

Session 54.21 Kendell2

"Alright, ponies, are you ready?" Discord asked, preparing to be Animator in a game of Animania. Because Pinkie Pie wanted him to.

"Yes! Now all of you get to find out what it's like to be me and Cheese Sandwich!" Pinkie Pie shouted in excitement.

"...Normally that'd be kind of cool, but...ugh..." said Rainbow Dash, looking over at a certain guest. "Did we HAVE to invite HIM?"

"Oh come on, world's best flyer," said Zephyr Breeze in his typical flirtatious way. "I know it was your idea, you just had to spend time with me."

The cyan pegasus gave a disgusted look. As anyone could guess, she'd tried every way imaginable to convince Fluttershy's little brother that she couldn't be LESS interested him, but apparently his inability to take a hint rivaled Discord's ability to be annoying.

"Oh no, I invited him," said Discord with a chuckle. "After all, we needed his unique personality traits for what I had in mind."

"Please let this by one of the ones where the rabbit humiliates egotistical know it all coyote..." muttered Rainbow Dash.

"Alright, game start!" Discord announced, snapping his fingers as they were suddenly in a cartoon world and all turned into various funny cartoon animals.

Twilight was an owl (no surprise).

Rarity was a pretty white swan.

Applejack was a dog, looking similar to Wiona.

Pinkie Pie...was still Pinkie Pie, just more cartoony looking.

Rainbow Dash looked down at herself...and blinked. "What the ****?!" she asked, noticing she was a cyan colored cat. She blinked. 'Oh, right, G-Rated'. However, before she could question Discord's choice of animal for her, a visible wisp of greenish yellow scent floated over her face. The cat sniffed the air, going wide eyed and her ears pinning back. "And peeyew! What is that SMELL?!" she asked, clamping her paws over her nose.

"I don't know, but even like that, you're looking wonderful, Rainbow," said Zephyr, trotting over to her. Rainbow's eyes went wide as she noticed the big, fluffy aquamarine tail behind him with a pair of light grayish gold stripes down it. That and the visible greenish yellow scent he left in his wake, along with lots of wilted flowers and fainted animals.

"Ugh! Zephyr! Get back, you STINK!" Rainbow Dash muttered, backpeddling from him with a paw over her currently more sensitive nose.

"Oh, Rainbow, always playing hard to get," the irritating pegasus said, somehow seeming too full of himself to notice he stunk to high heavens. Or that everypony else had backed away holding their noses.

Rainbow backed into a large rack of supplies, then jumped as she felt something cold and wet run down her back. Looking back, she found she'd jostled a painter up on top of the rack who'd been (of course) painting with rainbow paint (a major Cloudsdale export), which had naturally made a perfect stripe down her back. "...And now I know what plot we're in," she said in a deadpan voice.

Zephyr noticed the stripe, but (according to Discord) completely failed his intelligence check, and thus failed to notice how she got it. He then noted his own appearance. "Oh we match, Rainbow! I know what's going on here!"

Rainbow tried to back away further, in true cartoon fashion Zephyr's scent seeming to actively try to make its way into her nose. "No you don't, pal!"

Zephyr got up close to her and, on instinct, rubbed his tail under her chin, unknowingly giving the poor pony-turned cat a nose full of skunk smell. "You had Discord bring us here for a romance story, well I'm flattered."

Rainbow Dash swayed slightly, her face turning a sickly green and her eyes watering. While the smell was part of it, she would be lying to say the thought Zephyr purposed didn't make her feel queasy. "Ugh...get away from me you stinker!" she yelled, taking off full speed away.

Zephyr merely bounced off after her (literally), leaving a trail of wilted flowers and fainted animals in his wake.

"Should we help her?" Twilight asked, taking her wings off her nose as the smell faded. She'd question why an owl, a skunk's natural predator, would still smell skunk stench as strongly as anything else, but toon logic.

Applejack shook her head to clear the sensitive canine nose she'd been stuck with...and then blinked, finally noticing Fluttershy, who was a yellow skunk with pink stripes (they were siblings after all) and cautiously sniffed her. Rather than get a nose full of skunk stink, she smelled...well, Fluttershy. "Wait, Fluttershy, why does your brother stink tah high heavens and you smell like...well, you?"

Fluttershy blinked. "...I don't know..."

"I do!" called Pinkie Pie. "You're different kind of skunk gags!"

"Huh?" the shy skunk asked.

"Zephyr's being that Prance Skunk who's always chasing a cat and smelling REALLY bad all the time so she keeps running from him! You're probably the skunk who will only stink when she gets startled!" Pinkie Pie explained.

Almost on cue (and due to rolls dictating it such), the pony who'd split paint on Rainbow dropped his can with a loud bang. Fluttershy gave a scream of fright and, sure enough, filled the ally with a visible pink stench a fog horn sounding, leaving the group gagging and holding their noses.

"See! *Cough* Classic!" Pinkie gagged and eyes watering, but smiling all the same. "And now we all get tomato juice baths!"

"...I'm seriously considering keeping the smell, darling..." coughed Rarity.

"Rarity!" Applejack called, keeping her paws over her nose. "Really?!"

"I'm a beautiful swan! Not a flamingo!"

Session 54.22 Devcon101

Octavia let out a small moan, putting a hoof to her head. Her eyes slowly opened, her vision coming into focus. She scowled, registering a foul taste in her mouth. What had happened that night? She felt like a wreck.

As her vision refocused, she took a quick look around. She appeared to be in an empty dance club, which had, as it seemed, been through quite the wild party. She took note that her headphones were on, though turned off at the moment. She then looked down, seeing herself at a set of turntables and a mixer. Blinking in surprise, she took a few steps back, trying to recall what had occurred the night prior, but to no avail.

"Ugh...what happened last night?" the mare asked, despite seeing nopony around.

Her head turned towards the sudden sound of a door opening, as Saxy strolled into the room, humming a tune to herself. She looked up at Octavia with a grin.

"Finally woke up, eh? Looks like I won’t have to carry you back to the hotel room." She gave a slight chuckle, trotting up to her sister.

"...What happened last night?" Octavia repeated, this time to her sister, who shrugged.

"You weren’t the only one who decided to get wasted sis." She looked around. "Any of the others wind up here?"

"Not that I can tell."

"Great." she said with heavy sarcasm, before looking around. "Usually someone’s taped to something..."

"Saxy, I don’t think Vinyl or anyone in the family is taped to anything."

Saxy went over to the broom closet with a smirk.

"Then what do you call this?" She swung open the closet, to reveal...no one. Octavia raised a brow.

"...An empty broom closet?" Saxy, blinked, looking inside.

"...Huh. Looks like the trope got subverted. Guess we’ll have to actually search them out on our own." Saxy turned around and started to head out, though soon turned back around to face her sister when she saw she was not accompanying her.

"You coming?"

"Yes, just...give me a second..." The mare cradled her aching head, making a mental note to never drink that much again.

Session 54.23 Alex Warlorn

In Ponyville, the mind control competition was still going on.

"STARLIGHT! You brainwashed Applejack AGAIN!? HOW COULD YOU?!" Twilight exclaimed.

"Well, I figured she'd prefer to be brainwashed by a friend than a strange."

"She'd prefer not to be at all!"

"Don't worry, I ordered her to work the fields until she was worn out, and to ramble about her family's odd stories if anypony spoke to her."

"... She does that anyway."

"Yes, I didn't realize how little the brainwashing actually affected her before."

"You are the best Starlight Glimmer." Trixie said, smiling and her eyes pin pricks.

Twilight shot Starlight death glares.

"Don't look at me! She WANTED me to brainwash her so I'd get the points!"

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (update already)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 54.0 Patton-42
Session 54.1 Devcon101
Session 54.2 Alex Warlorn
Session 54.3 Ardashir
Session 54.4 Alex Warlorn
Session 54.5 Alex Warlorn (Spoilers for IDW FiM #52)
Session 54.6 Ardashir EDITED!
Session 54.7 Devcon101
Session 54.8 Devcon101
Session 54.9 QuartzScale
Session 54.10 Mtangalion
Session 54.11 Alex Warlorn
Session 54.12 Devcon101
Session 54.13 Devcon101
Session 54.14 Devcon101
Session 54.15 Devcon101
Session 54.16 Alex Warlorn
Session 54.17 Devcon101
Session 54.18 Kendell2
Session 54.19 Mtangalion
Session 54.20 Alex Warlorn
Session 54.21 Kendell2
Session 54.22 Devcon101
Session 54.23 Alex Warlorn

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Cover art by Sa1ntMax http://sa1ntmax.deviantart.com/art/The-Dragon-s-Mare-632694049

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Session 55

Session 55.0 Kendell2

Rainbow Dash panted, the cyan cat hiding behind a wall...and promptly booking it again when she got a wiff of skunk smell.

"Come back, Rainbows! I know this a story you set up, but can we just skip to the end?" Zephyr Breeze asked.

"No!" yelled Rainbow, dashing into the nearest building, namely a restaurant. Her unwanted pursuer followed suit...resulting in the entire restaurant evacuating, holding their noses and screaming "Phew!", "Peeyew!", or most frequently "Skunk!"

Rushing through, Rainbow Dash fled through the back door and into an ally...at which point she heard a loud growl and looked back to see a rather large, fearsome looking dog. "Uh...Nice doggy..." she said, backing up, knowing while her current form had claws, she wasn't exactly the strongest type. The dog backed her up against the wall.

"Rainbows! You back here?" Zephyr asked, following out.

The dog turned, snarling and looked his way. Rainbow, having seen this cartoon before, knew what would happen and booked it while.

Zephyr gulped. "Nice doggy..." he muttered, taking a step back. He then cringed when the dog charged him.

The wisp of greenish yellow scent changed direction and floated over the dogs face. The canine slid to a stop, face contorted in disgust and eyes wide.

"Huh?" Zephyr asked, looking at him.

The dog promptly ran away yelping with its tail between its legs.

"Huh...Guess Flutter Butter isn't the only pony in the family with a knack for animals," the vain Pegasus said, giving a prouder look than this warranted. "Now where did Rainbows get to?"

Rainbow Dash panted, still trying to put distance between herself and Breeze and hiding behind a trash can. "Ugh...I don't get it! Why is Zephyr this motivated! He's never motivated!" she exclaimed, then blinked. "...Because me and Fluttershy got him over that...of course..." she muttered, facepawing. Her nose twitched and then scrunched up. "Uh oh..." she muttered, looking up and seeing Zephyr standing on the trash can he was hiding behind.

"Hey Rainbows," he said, jumping down and bushing up against her, putting a leg over her back. "Come on, that restaurant back there is empty and they left a lot of food sitting there, let's a have date so it doesn't go to waste?"

Rainbow Dash's eyes watered and she gagged, her nose burning from the putrid stench coming off the pony-turned skunk inches away. Rainbow promptly pushed him away and ran for it, inhaling deeply the moment she got fresh air. "Phew! I hope the others aren't having as lousy of a time as me..."

"...Not a word..." said Rarity, flying along above the group, now a bright pink swan.

"Wasn't plannin' on it," Applejack remarked. The group was making their way along after Rainbow and Zephyr. Namely after the trail of wilted flowers, fainted birds, and ponies running from a skunk.

"Sorry..." said Fluttershy, blushing brightly.

"It's okay, Fluttershy. I know you didn't mean to spray us all with that awful smell," Rarity replied, giving a sympathetic look.

"Get away from me!" yelled a voice nearby.

"Over there!" yelled Twilight, flying towards the sound of it.

As they came out of an alley (and paused to let ponies fleeing the skunk stench), they saw a familiar cyan cat running from a bouncing turquoise skunk.

"Okay, we found them, now what?" Twilight asked.

"Just tell the guy the truth?" Applejack asked. "After all, it ain't like he NORMALLY stinks tah high heavens, maybe it'll convince him tah leave Rainbow alone tah find somethin' tah make him smell better."

Applejack, being fairly fast in her dog form, dashed off after them, making sure to come from a direction the wind wasn't currently blowing in. She managed to catch up to Zephyr and prepared to just give his tail a bite to stop him to talk...when she heard dice rolling in her ears...or head.

'Oh my, sorry dear AJ. Dice weren't in your favor. Zephyr even got a critical hit!' said Discord's voice in her head.

"Critical what now?" asked the mare turned dog. She knew that this game's rules were VERY flexible. Like insanely flexible to the point the only rule that really mattered was rule of funny, but she hadn't seen Zephyr attack, or even notice she was there...

What she did notice was the wind shifting, resulting in Zephyr's trail of greenish yellow stink blowing right in her face. More than that in fact, in true cartoon fashion, it actively went straight up her nose rather than just blowing in her face.

Applejack skidded to a stop with the sound of tires screeching, her irises pinpricks and eyes tearing up. Her tail went between her legs, her ears pinned back, and her face turned green. Somehow, just the stench coming off Zephyr, at least in that moment, made the stink Fluttershy had let off smell like roses in comparison.

"Ah...Ah think Ah...Ah got it..." the orange dog manged to gag out, swaying dizzily. "Ugh..." she groaned, falling on her back, eyes going swirly.

"...Well, that didn't work..." Twilight mentioned, not too worried. Even if Discord was messing with them, this game didn't even HAVE the capability of permanent injury.

"Clearly the problem was getting too close, darling," Rarity remarked, feeling bad for AJ, but knowing by the 'game rules' she'd just 'fallen down' at worse. "I'll fly up and call down to him from above."

The swan took flight, going up high enough to avoid the stench and flew overhead. Flying, she noticed the background was recycling...given the genre they were in, she didn't question it. "Zephyr Breeze, darling!" Rarity called...but found the skunk bouncing after Rainbow Dash didn't seem to notice. "Oh right, wind..." she muttered, flying down a little closer. "Zephyr!" she called...and once again noted they couldn't hear her. In fact, it seemed like the wind picked up specifically so they couldn't.

Rarity sighed and descended. As she prepared to speak, she heard dice rolling in her head distantly. "Zephy-" she called...right as the wind again changed its mind, allowing the skunk's stink trail to find its way up to her location. As with poor AJ, the stench slithered its way right into the nostrils on her beak.

The sound of glass breaking rang out as Rarity froze in mid air, her feathers turning a paler white than it was before her tomato juice bath. While she didn't get a 'critical' like Applejack, the odor was still absolutely putrid and made her feel faint.

"Sweet Celestia, what a terrible odor!" exclaimed the swan, wrapping her wings around her beak, tears running down her cheeks. She then realized she was a swan and thus with her wings busy trying to protect her poor nose, she fell to the ground only upon noticing (and getting a winning intelligence roll) with a whistle sound accompanying her fall, dazed and gagging. For some reason, the smell seemed to linger despite her having not been 'sprayed'.

"Now what?" Fluttershy asked, keeping pace as best as she could with Twilight flying over head.

Twilight looked around, knowing that despite biology, she likely wouldn't be able to stand that smell any better than the others. Her eyes caught a clothesline and she flew over, grabbing a clothespin in her talons and putting it on her beak. Given the nature of the game, she willed herself not to think about why putting a clothespin on a rigid beak wouldn't really help unless it was directly over her nostrils. "There, now I can't smell him, so everything should be fine."

"If you say so..." said Fluttershy, not feeling very confident.

The lavender owl flew after the cyan pegasus and bouncing skunk, the greenish yellow stink trail washing right over her. She smirked at the clothespin did its job. "There, problem solved.

She finally caught up. "Zephyr!" she called.

"Sorry, Princess! Can't talk! Love's waiting, get what I'm saying?" the skunk asked, not looking back.

"Ugh...look, I..." Twilight started, then heard dice rolling in her head.

'Oh, should've chosen a higher grade clothespin, dear, defense just wasn't high enough,' said Discord's voice. 'Another critical! Kid's on a roll!"

Before Twilight could react, she saw the visible stink trail following Zephyr seem to become a hand in front of her. It promptly flicked the clothespin off her nose with a cartoony noise. "Uh oh..."

The stench went straight up her nostrils. Twilight's body went rigid with a spring sound, her eyes watering up and face turning green. She gagged, landing with her wings tightly over her beak, swaying back and forth. Somehow, she swore the odor she had the misfortune of smelling right now was worse than the entire den of them she'd been skunked by on winter Wrap Up.

Pinkie Pie...merely appeared ahead on the path. "Hi Rainbow Dash!" called the pink pony, waving.

"Pinkie! You've gotta help me!" the cyan cat yelled, then noticed Zephyr still coming and booked it.

"High Zephyr!" called Pinkie Pie, waving as the skunk passed.

"Hey there, pinks," called the pegasus turned skunk as he bounced passed.

Pinkie Pie heard the dice roll as the stink trail went over her face. Her expression didn't change, but her eyes watered and she gagged, the fog horn sounding again. "Sleepy time..." she muttered, falling to the ground, eyes swirling.

Fluttershy trotted up to Twilight, who was still covering her nose and gagging. She looked back to see Applejack, still out, and Rarity still gagging and holding her nose. She looked forwards to see Pinkie in the same condition as AJ. "That didn't go well."

"No...it definitely didn't...peeyew..." Twilight groaned, falling forward to the ground with swirly eyes.

Fluttershy merely set down and waited for Rarity to recover and the other's revive timer to end. "...At least Pinkie Pie enjoyed that."

Session 55.1 Devcon101

Discord snapped into existence before a pair of earth ponies, who looked up, startled. The lord of chaos gave them a once over, making sure they had not yet been claimed by another participant in the contest. He gained a large grin upon seeing they had indeed not.

"Finally!" he said to himself with a chuckle, smiling evilly as he pointed a finger and gave them a tap on the forehead. However, it seemed things weren't working out for him, as they simply blinked, before raising their eyebrows in shared confusion. Discord's jaw dropped, hitting the floor with a clang.

"Aw come on!" Discord snarled in frustration, wisps of fire escaping his nostrils as he scanned the area, seeing many more earth ponies who were staring at the scene, not claimed either. The draconnequus proceeded to attempt to do so to many of these other ponies, only to get a similar reaction from the rest. He proceeded let out an angered growl as he snapped his fingers, teleporting away to find possible targets elsewhere. As soon as he did so, the earth ponies looked at each other, exchanging amused glances, before laughing. One laughed so hard their head literally fell off, but their head only gave an irritated expression as their body felt around for it, soon picking up the head and placing it back in its proper spot. The disguised zombie ponies soon stopped their laughter as they heard someone else approaching, going back to imitating normal ponies.

-

Aurora Glimmer, matriarch of Lich-tenstein, smiled to herself as she scryed the scene from her castle. It never did hurt to lend family a helping hand.

Session 55.2 Kendell2

Rainbow Dash, while unaware her friends had tried (and epically failed) to help her, continued fleeing from Zephyr Breeze as fast as her feline legs could take her. In this case, she decided to head towards a nearby, conveniently placed mountain. Zephyr of course continued bouncing on after her.

'Wait a second! This is still an RPG!' the cyan cat thought. 'Hey Discord!'

'Yes, Rainbow Dash?' asked Discord's voice in her head.

'I think the rule book said we have things called Shticks right? Like bonus skills?'

'Correct. Yours is 'Incredible Speed', as one would expect.'

Rainbow smirked. 'Good! Role for it so I can lose this stinker!'

Rainbow Dash heard a roll in her head.

'Good, you got the roll!'

"Yes!" the cyan cat exclaimed, getting a burst of speed. She then blinked, hearing a second roll.

'And so does Zephyr. Did I forget to mention he had that Shtick as his second one? His primary one is custom.'

Rainbow gasped, watching Zephyr unknowingly speed up as well. "Oh come on!"

"I'm coming, Rainbows, I'm coming!" called the pony turned skunk, oblivious to the situation even as their chase took them into the snow.

Rainbow's eyes darted around the mountain and spotted a cave. The cyan cat ran into it...and skidded to a stop inches from a pack of sleeping wolves. Giving a gulp, she tiptoed her way past them as 'sneaking music' played in the background. The second she was past them, she dashed out the other side and continued up the mountain.

"Rainbows!" called Zephyr. "Where are you?!" he called, hopping into the cave...and instantly found a pack of angry wolves growling at him.

Rainbow Dash looked back, feeling a moment of worry as she heard the wolves growling...before they all came running out of the den and fleeing in all directions, yelping with their tails between their legs. "...Okay, he's fine..." she muttered, then jumped and started running again the moment Zephyr came bouncing out after her.

Continuing further up the hill, she found her way to another cave and once again tried to lose her pursuer in the cave...at which point a creature similar to the one that Pinkie encountered in the Frozen North heading to the Yak's kingdom jumped out and growled at her. She tried to stop but found herself sliding. The monster lowered its head to the ground and opened its mouth wide to swallow her. Rainbow managed to stop right outside its jaws, which snapped shut in front of her and took some fur off her tail tip. The creature growled at her...

"Rainbows!" called Zephyr, bouncing up to the cave entrance. The moment the creature looked up, Rainbow put her Incredible Speed Shtick to good use and zipped right between the legs of the monster, leaving only a cat shaped puff of smoke where she'd been.

"I know you're in there!" the skunk called, bouncing in...and instantly being tackled by the snarling beast. "Uh...nice kitty..." he muttered.

The monster went to bite him...when the skunk's stink went straight up its nose. The creature froze in place, wide eyed with a look of disgust and shock...then slowly tipped over to the side and rather than just falling to the ground in a heap, made a clanking sound and bounced like a statue on impact, not moving from its pose in the slightest.

Zephyr blinked in confusion, then got a proud look. "Must have scared him stiff! Can't say I blame him! I wouldn't want to mess with me either!" he said, seeming as much trying to convince himself as anyone else.

Rainbow continued running through the cave, trying to find the exit...and came into a large chamber with a giant sleeping dragon curled up. "Oh come on! How many monsters can one mountain have?!" she yelled, then covered her mouth quickly. The dragon gave a yawn and rolled over, but didn't awake.

The cat began creeping across the room, once more with sneaking music...and jumped literally to the ceiling when the dragon's tail flopped in front of her. Rainbow panted, sticking to the cave ceiling with her claws. She might have been brave sometimes to her own detriment, but even she knew a cat versus a dragon wasn't a good fight. She exploited her situation by using her claws to climb along the ceiling until she reached the far end and took off out of the cave.

"Rainbows! Come on! It's dark in here! How are you supposed to see my beautiful face in this cave?" Zephyr Breeze called, hopping into the room and causing the dragon to instantly spring awake and glare down at him.

The dragon promptly lunged out, biting down and swallowing the skunk in one gulp, giving a smirk at his 'midnight snack'...then going wide-eyed with the sound of glass breaking, irises pinpricks and eyes twitching slightly as his face turned green, a wisp of greenish yellow stink snaking its way out of each nostril.

The sound of a sickened, gagging dragon sounded for a few seconds until Zephyr Breeze found himself forcibly ejected from the cave via the dragon's gag reflex, completely unharmed.

"Huh, guess I'm just too tough for the big guy to eat," he bragged, dusting himself off and getting proud look...then giving a yelp and running to evade a blast of fire from the inside of the cave that left his tail tip scorched but otherwise unharmed. "Alright, I'm going!"

Rainbow Dash made it to the mountain top, finally, where she found a ski resort, which she quickly dashed into...and found Zephyr bouncing quickly behind. The moment the skunk was inside, the entire resort bailed out with varying cries of disgust.

The cyan cat noticed the skies and snowboard nearby and grabbed one, taking off down the mountain to try and escape her pursuer. "Alright, now THIS is my kind of game!" called Rainbow, doing a few tricks that by cartoon logic somehow sped her up, until she finally took off a ramp and seemed to hang in the air for an unnaturally long time...then cringing as a stream of greenish yellow stink went across her nose.

"Oh Rainbows!" called Zephyr, in the air behind her on a pair of skis. "If you wanted to go skiing, all you had to do was ask! I'm game for any date you are. And of course I happen to be a great skier." he said, giving a smug look...then crashing right into a tree, limbs comically wrapping around it as the tree's branches wilted from his stink and Rainbow continued sailing down the hill.

OOC: Shticks are from the Toon game. They're basically special thing the character can do. It's actually a mechanic that one character with an Incredible Speed skill can escape from any character with a winning roll...EXCEPT another one with Incredible Speed.

Session 55.3 Alex Warlorn

"Waaagh!" Pinkie Pie lamented, sitting at the table, playing some 'pen and pencil' Power Ponies for a change rather than another Enchanted Comic. "How could Commander Skulls fire the Slow-ification ray at Fillisecond?! He's good now!"

Their Game Master, Shining Armor, resisted so hard trying not to smile at finally getting one over his sister and friends, he didn't MEAN TO, and it hadn't been the point, not at all, cross his heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in his eye, but he couldn't help but think of all the times he'd been derailed, and for once the score was in his favor.

"Pinkie Pie. All he did was put pink bunnies on his costume," Spike said.

"But that was supposed to mean he'd turned good!" Pinkie Pie lamented.

"Villains faking becoming good happens all the time in comics," Shining Armor said.

"Plus," Rarity said. "It is rather odd to take simply a change in a taste in wardrobe to assume somepony had turned good."

"YOU are sayin' that?" AJ asked bewildered.

"My dear, I know all about appearances, and I know appearances can be deceiving."

"Still feels like a dirty trick." Rainbow Dash snorted crossing her arms.

"Rainbow, heroes dress up as minions all the time to enter evil lairs." Twilight Sparkle point out.

Pinkie Pie slumped. "I guess it would be kinda dumb to think somepony had changed simply because they looked different. I mean, if Rarity was ugly Spike wouldn't like her any less."

Spike nodded firmly. Rarity shivered at the thought.

"And just because somepony looks prettier than when ya last saw'em doesn't mean they're suddenly nice," AJ said.

"I guess you're right." Pinkie Pie admitted. Then she perked up, and waved at as one of the new purified neo-colored changelings walked past the window, who happily waved back. "Have a nice day special black ops assassin Redback Spider! You're brightly colored instead of black, so we know you're good now, and didn't just go with the majority to avoid being punished!"

"HEIL! I mean, thank you!"

Session 55.4 Kendell2

Rainbow Dash arrived at the bottom of the mountain on her snowboard and looked around gave a chuckle. "This is great, that stinker is stuck up there on the mountain..." she said with a smirk and took off...and ran right into something, resulting in her and it rolling head over heels and landing with her on top. On top of something turquoise and noseburningly stinky.

"Hey there, Rainbows...coming on a little strong, don't you think?" Zephyr asked, but gave a smirk.

Rainbow's response was for her fur to stand on end and tail to shoot straight up as she yowled in surprise, then backpeddled away from him with her paws over her nose. "Ugh! Zephyr?! How did you...when did you...why are you here?!"

Zephyr blinked. "...I honestly don't know...Maybe its fate, you get what I'm saying?"

Rainbow's eyes darted around, wondering how to escape. 'What would a cartoon character do?!'

"...LOOK! A PONY WHO NEEDS YOUR AWESOME MANESTYLING SKILLS!" she yelled, pointing over his shoulder with a claw.

Thankfully, she won the roll (or she assumed, Discord seemed content to only tell her something when it was rolling).

"Where?!" Zephyr asked, looking back to find the pony in question...and seeing nothing back mountain side. He blinked, turning back to see Rainbow already a good ways away. "Oh, still playing hard to get?"

Rainbow continued to run along, noting the skunk bounding after her...until she skidded to a stop right before she would've gone over a cliff and into the ocean. She took a look back, seeing Zephyr hopping towards her without any sign of stopping. She then looked down at the ocean below. Then back to Zephyr...then promptly did a swan dive off the cliff.

Zephyr gasped, looking down. "Don't worry, Rainbows! I'm coming!" he said, looking around...and seeing a pony at a dock nearby (though considerably lower than he currently was) with diving gear. Zipping over (unknowingly using Incredible Speed), he tugged on the stallion's tail. "Excuse me, sir, can I borrow your diving helmet? I need to save a lovely lady..."

The stallion seemed intent to ignore him...until his nose could no longer, at which point the stallion diver jumped into the air, mane and tail sticking out on end and eyes poking out of his head at the skunkified pony. "SKUNK!" he screamed and took off, leaving only a stallion shaped puff of smoke behind.

"...I'll take that as a yes."

Back at the ski resort, the ski lift car arrived at the top and opened to reveal the Mane Six.

"They had to have come this way..." Twilight said, the owl looking around...360 degrees, as one would expect from an owl, though the slide whistle noise accompanying it probably wasn't.

"Considering the ponies fleeing the area screaming 'skunk' at the top of their lungs, that's rather obvious, darling," said Rarity, still a little upset she was pink once the shock from the skunk stench had worn off.

"So do we have an actual PLAN?" Applejack asked as the group trotted up to the resort proper and looked around. "Considerin' last time we all got our tails kicked by Zephyr Breeze?"

"Don't you mean got our noses kicked?" Pinkie Pie asked, giving a chuckle.

"...Yes..." the farmer turned farm dog replied with a grumble. On one hand, she'd always had a strange curiosity about what it'd be like to be Winona. On the other, she decidedly did appreciate having a super sensitive nose while dealing with a skunk.

"...I'll think of something," Twilight said, still trying to get a grasp on the situation, given they didn't really know their skills or abilities after being dropped into this. She wasn't even sure if Zephyr's stink counted as a skill or not, just it'd knocked her, AJ, and Pinkie out and incapacitated Rarity. She was used to being able to prepare some kind of strategy.

"Girls..." said Fluttershy, standing near the doorway the two had taken off out of and looking down. The others walked or flew over to her...

Just in time for the Stallion's scream of "SKUNK!" to echo up to them...and to see a large portion of the town's population all flee a very specific area of town, looking like ants scrambling away in formation.

"...Okay, so how exactly do we get down here, Darlings?" asked Rarity.

"Oh! Oh! I know!" Pinkie Pie said. "All of you, stand in a line going up to the edge."

The group blinked...then did so, yielding to the living cartoon character's wisdom in this particular area.

"Alright, now what?" Twilight asked.

Pinkie Pie backed up and using a hoof to line up her sight. "Just stand there..."

"...I have a bad feeling about this..." said Rarity, standing at the back.

"Incoming!" yelled Pinkie Pie, running in and crashing into Rarity, sending the group tumbling head over hills in a domino effect out of the resort and down the hill, quickly collecting snow until they were a giant snowball.

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" screamed Pinkie Pie as they rolled down the mountain, their snowball becoming bigger and bigger as they did so.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed everypony else.

Rainbow blinked, finding herself holding her breath underwater. She considered surfacing...but knew Zephyr was probably up there waiting for her, so instead looked down at the sea floor...and saw an abandoned divers helmet at the bottom. She dove down and grabbed it, placing it on her head and taking an extremely deep breath.

Thankfully, she failed her intelligence check to know this should be impossible. "Hehe...let's see that stinker get me down here!"

As if fate was listening, a wisp of greenish yellow stink somehow traveled underwater and across her face, and she naturally smelled it despite the helmet she was currently wearing. "Oh you have got to be kidding me!"

"I'm coming Rainbows!" called Zephyr Breeze, swimming down in a diving suit that somehow still fit him despite being gotten from a stallion, his big poofy tail exposed completely. "Do you need mouth to mouth?"

"NO!" Rainbow Dash yelled, swimming frantically away from him...as he just causally swam after her and somehow kept pace with her. The trail of stink somehow following him leaving fish floating towards the surface in his wake.

"Good, so can we just enjoy a diving date? Always wanted to go on one, you too?" Zephyr asked, as if the answer was obvious and opposite of the reality.

Rainbow Dash swam into the haul of a sunken ship...and instantly swam back out and hid directly above it as a huge Great White Shark erupted out of hole and swam fowards. Having lost sight of its primary target, the huge animal changed targets to the other apparent snack nearby and swam right as Zephyr. Rainbow Dash instantly cut and swam away, seeing an anchor chain extending down from above.

Zephyr yelped and cowered as the beast's jaws came closing at him...at which point his stink trail hit its nose and caused it to freeze in its tracks. It then somehow screamed and RAN (not SWAM) using its tailfins...straight out of the water, on the surface, and then on land.

"...Yeah! You'd better run!" bragged the male skunk, then looked up to see Rainbow Dash break the water's surface climbing the anchor chain.

Session 55.5 Kendell2

Going back to the 'Law and Chaos' thing:

As the Bearers of Chaos and Harmony continued through Discord and Accord's game, the two Starlights finally found it fit to speak again.

"So...your Sunburst leave too?" asked Starlight prime.

Chaos Starlight shook her head. "No...I did..."

Lawful Starlight's eyes went wide. "What?!"

"I got into Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns and even though he could have and was invited...he just didn't want to..." said Chaos Starlight. "He didn't want to reach his true potential...So...we got split up and never saw each other again until recently...I blamed it on how ponies never pushed themselves, didn't want to be all they could be...So when I made Our Town, I made that what it was all about: the progress and advancement of yourself...no matter who you hurt...no matter who you had to step on...never letting ANYTHING hold you back or anypony...so long as you got to be on the level you wanted to be on...That way no pony would be left in the dust while their friends moved on like I was because everypony wanted to move forwards as fast as they could...I failed to realize that level of competition and attempt to be the best you could to the point of not letting anything hold you back meant ponies grew more and more apathetic to each other...more and more harmful towards each other...It was a wonder no pony got killed before Twilight and her friends stopped me...You?"

"...My Sunburst went to Celestia's School and I didn't...I blamed Cutie Marks and inequality and tried to remove BOTH from ponies lives, to structure EVERYTHING to be completely identical, all so no pony would ever lose a friend because of differences again...and in doing so, I was dragging everypony down to their lowest and took away part of them...I barely even knew my friends as ponies, only as 'my friends'...and that was all most of them knew about each other...You still feel the pull, don't you?"

Chaos Starlight nodded. "...Yeah...I still want ponies to be the best they can be...I just don't want to go that far again."

"Same for me...Wait a second, I TOOK Cutie Marks, what did you do?"

"...A modified version of Cutie Pox designed to...well, ever heard the legend of the Twice as Fancy Ponies?"

Session 55.6 Alex Warlorn

After the little filly who had come to their gate, the guards protecting the path to the undead kingdom were even more confused and bewildered when a pony showed up who resembled their leader's advisor, only looking like a teenager.

"Excuse me, is this the entry to the Undead Kingdom?"

"Er, yes."

"I see. My name is Sugarcoat, I am from another universe where apes, not equines became the dominant species. A friend of mine, Lemon Zest, had been in email contact with Discord, and he recently informed her of Twilight meeting my alternate self here. I found this interesting, and borrow books from Princess Twilight's library on the subject, and Lemon Zest sharing stories Discord had told her... and I ran across something interesting. Twilight Sparkle once outright said that ghost and zombies were nonsense. Twilight Sparkle, no matter the universe so far, always smart, even smarter than myself. Just don't tell my parents or my principle I admitted that. While a small secluded group of undead ponies in Everfree is plausible. If an entire nation of them existed, Twilight would not have been so steadfast in her belief that ghosts and zombies didn't exist, nor would she have called curses to be mere fiction."

The skeleton ponies coiled back like Sugarcoat had revealed she was holding a thermal detonator with the safety already off. "T-That's not fair! There's Fillydelphia's dragon town! When Spike The Dragon lamented earlier of not knowing about dragons, and Twilight about not having any books on dragons!"

"... That is a good point. Maybe I should visit them next. Though there is a flimsy excuse that they're a different tribe of dragons from Spike's. Oh, and if this Starlight is part of some ruling family, why wasn't she ever called 'Princess' Starlight?"

"Stop!" The skeleton ponies put their bony hooves to their skulls. "Lalalala! We can't hear you!"

"Why? If I point out how inconsistent with established events of this world you'll spontaneously cease to exist?" Sugarcoat asked scientifically.

"STOP TALKING!" The skeletons screamed in a panic, and ran away, slamming the great gates behind them and barring and locking them closed.

"LALALA! CAN'T HEAR YOU! LALALA! GO AWAY!" They shouted through the door.

Sugarcoat knelt down and looked at the cards the skeleton ponies had dropped. "Full house against a king high."

"YES! I MEAN! CAN'T YOO-"

Session 55.7 JDMiles

As Zephyr made it to the surface, he saw the chain connected to the Anchor leading up to another abandoned beached ship. "Will cruises are pretty romantic... even if this one happens to be beached, I'm sure I can make it work!" The male skunk smiled as he climbed up the chain.

"HELP ME!!" Rainbow's voice called out, getting his attention. Looking around he soon saw with a voice was coming from, a cannon that somehow was stuck in the floor, it's barrel pointing up towards the sky. Lodged in the barrel was Rainbow Dash's helmet.

"SOMEONE PLEASE HELP, I'M STUCK!" She continued. "IF SOMEONE HELPS ME OUT OF HERE I SWEAR I'LL TAKE THEM ON THE MOST ROMANTIC DATE THEY'VE EVER BEEN ON! HELL I'LL EVEN MARRY THEM AFTERWARDS!"

Zephyr didn't need anymore motivation than that as he happily bounced towards the cannon. "No worries my lady, your knight in shining armor has arrived!" He proclaimed, striking a pose as he left on top of the cannon. He quickly pulled the helmet off the top and stuck his head into the barrel. "Now then, about that date..."

*BOOM*

On the floor below the cannon Rainbow Dash snickered to herself as she pulled the strinh, firing the cannon and sending the male skunk flying through the air and into the distance, a satisfying twinkle appearing in the sky for good measure.

"HAHAHA YES! FREE! I'M FINALLY FREE!!" Rainbow Dash cheered as she started dancing across the ship ignoring a nearby hole that she was getting very close to...

"Who's awesome? I'm awesome! Who's the best? I'm the best! Who's-WOAH!" She yelped as she fell through the hole, right before she fell however she could have sworn she saw a sign that read "Plot Hole".

"Oh for the love of-!" She groaned as she fell, however as she fell through the dark abyss she looked at her paws and noticed they were starting to grow and change. "Oh no! Please whatever I'm changing into let it be fast! Scratch that, let it be a bird! Yeah that's it! A fast bird!"

Suddenly a bright engulfed the tunnel and she landed face-first into the dirt. "Ow..." She groaned as she got up ruffling her feathers to get the dirt out. She then did a double-take when she realized she had feathers, a break, a long neck and long legs. "What the-"

Before she had time to ponder it however, she heard a familiar screaming voice and looked up to see none other than Zephyr flying straight into the dirt right in front of her. As he dusted himself off however, she noticed that he'd gone through an odd change as well, he was no longer a skunk (thank God), he looked more like a large bipedal dog of some kind.

"Oh man, what a trip." He mumbled to himself as he looked around, his eyes immediately becoming hearts when he noticed Rainbow Dash. "Hey Dashie, you look different... new haircut?"

Rainbow Dash didn't know what possessed her to do the following actions, but later she would chalk it up to instinct. She hopped into the air, stuck out her tongue with a "put-put-put" sound, and shouted " MEEP-MEEP!" Before zooming off at the speed of a rocket.

Session 55.8 Devcon101

"AHA! I got it!" shouted one of the skeletons, the human world Sugarcoat raising a brow.

"If Twilight never read the book on curses because she believed them untrue, then it's likely she either didn't read any books she had on this place, believing them untrue as well, or never even bothered to get any! And Starlight and Twilight are the only ones besides our Matriarch and Patriarch to truly know that Starlight is Lich-tenstein's heir, so unless she told anyone other than her friends, who are unlikely to start calling her "princess Starlight", she wouldn't be called that by anyone." Sugarcoat blinked.

"That...makes some sense...wait."

"What now?! I just gave an entire explanation for most everything!"

"...How do you even know all this? Lemon Zest told me everything. You're just two random guards."

It became eerily quiet.

"Um...potatoes?"

Session 55.9 Kendell2

Rainbow Dash raced through the desert at extreme speeds, finding this form much more her style. Her cat form had been fast, but this one made it look like a slug.

She noticed everything seem to freeze with a ding. She then noticed some words floating in the air next to her head.

Rainbow Dash
(Arcusceler Eritque)

Time resumed its proper pace and she continued to run forward, looking back to see Zephyr behind her, managing to stay within ten feet of her. Time froze again, and letters appeared in front of Zephyr.

Zephyr Breeze
(Vexas Stupidus)

Rainbow Dash gave a smirk as a slow realization donned on her. She continued to run forwards, seeing something up ahead and continuing to lead the way.

"Come on, Rainbows! Sand is getting in my paws!" called the now coyote.

"Alright..." said Rainbow, waiting... "I'll stop!" she said suddenly, coming to an instant stop.

"Say what?" asked Zepyhr, noting about two seconds too late as he sped straight off a cliff. He stopped in mid air...and unfortunately for him, succeeded in his intelligence roll.

"You'll need this..." said Rainbow, handing him a white sign reading 'Help!'

He took it, then fell with a whistle sound effect, Rainbow watching until a poof of dust occurred at the bottom of the cliff.

"This is more like it..." Rainbow said. "MEEP MEEP!" she honked before taking off in the opposite direction, knowing game rules and cartoon logic dictated Zephyr was perfectly fine. "Wonder how the others are doing..."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

A screaming, giant snowball launched off the cliff Rainbow had dove off of over, somehow flew over the water and landed in a pool on the same ship's deck the two had been on before.

The Mane Six groaned, climbing out of the pool and shaking off. "We're here!" said Pinkie Pie, jumping around.

"...Good..." said Applejack, shaking herself off like the dog she currently was...ending up fluffing out like a puff ball.

"I don't see them anywhere..." said Twilight, the owl once again looking around with her 360 degree head turn.

With some help from Rarity, Applejack was unpuffed and sniffed around the deck, coming to the place the two had been and giving a gag. "They were here..."

"But where are they now, darling?" Rarity questioned.

'Oh, sorry, you just missed them,' said Discord's voice. 'Your Rainbow Dash is in another level.'

"What?!" Twilight asked.

'Well Rainbow fell down a plot hole and is currently playing 'Roadrunner vs Coyote' with Zephyr.'

"Well send us there already!" yelled Applejack.

'Sorry, that's a two player game, Applejack. This one had room for extras, that one typically doesn't,' Discord replied.

"That's not fair!" exclaimed Twilight, looking at the sky, since that's where she bet Discord was coming from.

"Yeah! This was fun!" Pinkie Pie joined in.

"I must admit, while I did not enjoy Zephyr's aroma, it is rather anti-climatic," Rarity admitted. "One does come to a game expecting to play, darling. Sending them to play by themselves isn't very sporting."

'First off, I'm Discord,' Discord's voice replied.

"I know..." Twilight said, rolling her eyes. "'Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, hello!' Been there."

'FORMALLY Disharmony! I'm reformed! Be that as it may, I was just going to let you five wonder around the toon world having all kinds of wacky misadventures...but if you want to rescue a friend from a lovestruck skunk...' said Discord's voice.

The group blinked, watching a giant pencil descend from the sky and sketch a traditional black and white cartoon skunk.

"You wouldn't put poor Fluttershy in that situation!" Rarity exclaimed, putting herself between Fluttershy and the Prance skunk.

'Your right, my dear. Plus, the script DOES call for a female CAT with a stripe painted down her back, not a real skunk...' said Discord's voice.

Rarity blinked as the eraser end of the pencil descended, erased everything but her eyes, then redrew her as a white cat with a purple underbelly and inside of the ears. She looked back and found a black stripe painted down her back. "...When will I learn not to tempt fate?"

The skunk looked between Rarity and Fluttershy. He then focused on Rarity and dashed over to her. "Ah! Mademoiselle! You are white as snow on the peaks! You light my heart on fire!" he said in a classy Prance accent, proceeding to kiss her.

Rarity's nose twitched and she cringed. "No thank you!" exclaimed Rarity, dashing away with a scream, leaving the skunk spinning from her speed.

The skunk gave click of the tongue. "A feisty one, huh? C'est magnifique! Just as I like it!" he exclaimed, taking off hopping after Rarity.

"Discord!" exclaimed Fluttershy.

'What? I thought Rarity of all ponies would appreciate having a hopeless romantic chase her to the ends of Equus! Especially one with ze fancy Prance accent!'

Twilight gave an annoyed sigh. "We had to open our big mouths, didn't we? Come on girls."

"Ugh..." muttered Zephyr Breeze, emerging from a coyote shaped hole in the ground. "Huh...I'm alive..." he muttered.

'Of course you're alive, you idiot! It's called toon physics. You literally can't die!'

"Oh...Oh..." said Zephyr, seeming emboldened by that knowledge. "But how am I going to catch up to Rainbows now?"

He blinked, looking to the side to notice a large catalog called 'Ace Products' and a coupon for 'infinite products' next to it right there sitting on the ground.

Session 55.10 QuartzScale

Once again a group of ponies joined together with Derpy and her collection of amazing muffins. Tonight was a special occasion as some new ponies joined her tonight. On her right was the ever bouncy Lyra giggling at the chance for some fun with the muffin button. Next to her was Minuette once again wondering what was going to happen. Strangely the ponies joining her today were Berry Punch and Mr. Davenport. Derpy didn't know why they actually agreed to jon but she went along with it either way.

The other weird occurrence was that every time she turned her head she thought she had seen Discord hovering around. He always stayed just out of the corner of her eye out of sight and out of character as well. He was very quiet.

"Who would like the last muffin?" Derpy cried out as the last muffin was on the plate in front of them.

"ME!"

The two ponies who called out were Berry and Lyra. Both glared at each other though it was stopped by both of them laughing slightly. Before either could come to an agreement Derpy pressed the Muffin Button. As quickly as she pressed it Discord created a shield of his chaos magic around him
before the magic could take effect.

Lyra took on her familiar red suit and cravat while Minuette was back in the thief like suit. They each looked over each other still admiring the outfits they had received. When the two looked over to the other two their jaws dropped.

Mr. Davenport wore a judge outfit almost exactly like Derpy only he now had a large bushy beard and wore goggles as well. For some reason his face was placed in a permanent scowl. He growled out slightly while some slight muttering about his failure of a son managed to leak out. Derpy remembered that he didn't even have a son.

Berry Punch was the most changed. Her face was covered in a white clown mask while her mane got a twisted look to it and overly stylized to be more funny. She wore a ruffled choker around her neck while her pink fur seemed to be much softer. Both of them screamed villain and slightly scared the three others within the room.

"Who would like to go first?"

"I shall. As you know someone like me has a hard time relaxing and this muffin right in front of us will be the thing that finishes that. Lyra you don't require this at all. I will take it." The smile she gave was dark and foreboding. Davenport merely smiled darkly. It terrified the other mares.

OBJECTION!

"Um... Right let's not do that and just share the muffin ok?" Lyra looked around and shivered over the smile that they had.

"Yeah it shouldn't be too hard to share right Derpy?" Minuette chimed in. They both stared down Berry but eventually Derpy pressed the button again. The malice was kind of dangerous.

The ponies all looked around wondering what happened while both Berry and Davenport seemed highly confused. In the background Discord gripped at his goatee wondering immediately what had just happened. Feeling into the aether something had begun to warp the very fabric of the Muffin Button. It had become aware. It knew what was going to happen. It was ready for one more press. Without waiting for even another second Discord snapped his talons to take the button back. It didn't move and remained unaffected.

"Oh that's not good..."

Meanwhile, Derpy brought out more muffins and the ponies all ate their muffins unaware of how dangerous the Muffin Button had truly become.

Session 55.11 Mtangalion

It was crisp and cold outside, long after moonrise, but Ponyville's newest bar had a roaring fire to banish the lingering chill. Prince Blueblood sighted along the dart balanced on his hoof, squinting at the dartboard across the room. "So, gentlecolts... ah, gentlefolk, I should say! What brings you to an establishment like this? Mare problems?" He threw, and the dart hit the board slightly off center, but still in the second ring. "Am I near the mark?"

Big Macintosh sighed and took another gulp of cider. "Mare problems."

Gerold twitched his beak into a smirk. "Hen problems." The large blue-feathered and dark furred griffon approached the throw line, dart in claw. He considered thoughtfully, then padded several steps further back before he threw.

Blueblood raised an eyebrow at the griffon's bullseye. "You'd think that a Prince of Equestria would have numerous problems, but romance would not be one of them. Alas, the fair Trixie Lulamoon, that extraordinary mare I delight in matching wits with, is not so keen on becoming the next Lady Blueblood." He sighed. "A rare mare indeed."

The prince snatched up his cider mug in his magic and took a long draught. "I hardly need to ask about your troubles, Sir Macintosh. They're becoming the stuff of legend."

Big Mac covered his blush by taking a drink from his own cider. "Eeyup. Every mare from Princess Luna on down wants me. Ah almost wish there was one of me for everypony." The red stallion chuckled deeply. "Course, Granny says she'll tan my hide if Ah so much as go near that mirror pool, and don't think she couldn't do it, too." He balanced a dart on a thick, broad forehoof, give the target a calculating look, and casually threw, scoring a perfect bullseye. Again.

Blueblood gawked, then glanced to Gerold. "Apple math?"

The griffon nodded, lightly jabbing Mac with a claw. "You're standing farther back too next round! Cool?"

Big Mac laughed again. "Fair enough."

Gerold went to retrieve their darts. "Stupid question... There isn't a diamond wolf or diamond dog in charge of this joint, is there?"

Blueblood glanced around, puzzled. The white-coated, black-maned earth pony stallion behind the bar kept polishing glasses, ignoring them. "No... Not that I'm aware."

"And they don't serve meat," said Gerold. "I checked! Not even those beef jerky things."

Big Mac shuddered. "Eenope."

Gerold nodded to himself, taking another sip of cider. "So why is it ‘The Wolf Bar'?"

Prince Blueblood started to spout something witty, and found that he had nothing to offer. He decided to blame his failure of wit on the cider. "Rather than dwell on that, why don't you tell us about your own troubles?"

Gerold took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "Gilda. I am so into her, and I'm sure she likes me too, but..." He shrugged his wings. "I'm not giving up being a griffon to stay in her world full time... I'm just not! And she's got her human life doing human stuff. Ugh!"

It was a testament to the strangeness of Ponyville in recent years that neither stallion had to ask what humans were. "What about the other Gilda?" ventured Prince Blueblood. "The griffon one?"

Gerold shook his head ruefully. "Single... and I'd be the biggest jerk in two worlds if I dumped the Gilda I've been dating for her."

Big Mac put a sympathetic foreleg around the griffon. "You seem like a pretty decent colt... Gerold, was it?" He winked mischievously. "Maybe you and Ah should..."

Gerold pulled back from the almost-hug, fur bristling. "Don't even joke. I don't want any moons dropped on me!"

All three of them laughed heartily, knocking their cider mugs together.

Some time later, Prince Blueblood stumbled out of the bar, trying to remember which way the Ponyville Inn lay. "Ah, I needed that!" He found himself gazing up at the full moon, shading his eyes with a hoof. "Still, what I wouldn't give to be ardently pursued by a mare who's not after my bits or title."

A faint flash lit the night, a snap-sizzle of chaotic magic. A voice from thin air spoke, "Your wish is my command, O Prince!"

Blueblood froze. "Discord!" Only now did his cider-muddled wits recall the advice he'd been given, about not making wishes in Ponyville where any draconequus might hear them. He doubled over, clutching a hoof, which cracked apart, transforming into a padded and clawed paw before his eyes. "You cad, what have you done?!"

That was just the start. "No, no no... Ouch!" He licked his tongue over sharp fangs. "What's happening?" He kept changing, bristling, *growing* so large that his courtly vest tore right off him. "Blast it, that was expensive! Oh my... Can't... ahh!" The howl that burst from his muzzle was probably heard in every corner of Ponyville and beyond... and finally he was released, panting roughly, like... like some kind of wild animal!

The brush along the road rustled, and none other than Rarity Belle emerged, wearing a very fashionable safari outfit and levitating a giant butterfly net. "Now, just stay calm," she said breathlessly, to herself as much as him. But then she took in the tattered and ripped clothes scattered around the wolf, and squealed with delight. "A wolfpony! They're real, I knew it, I knew... wait, come back!"

Blueblood the wolf loped away at top speed. "Princess! Oh, Princess Twilight!" he howled, unaware that he was racing in completely the wrong direction. "I have a very large favor to ask!!"

Session 55.12 Ardashir

"So, everything is good between us again, right?" Trixie asked Starlight as she moved her knight to take Starlight's bishop. Outside the window a bright full moon shone down on Ponyville. "Trixie supposes she was getting a little out of hoof a few days ago."

Starlight glared at her. "Yes. Just a little. I --"

Both ponies leaped to their hooves as a wild howl tore through the night.

"Wh-ha-at!" Trixie stared at Starlight and found her staring back. "D-Did that sound come from the Everfree?"

"No," Starlight gulped. "It came from inside town. It might only be a wolf, maybe one of Alisa's relatives is visiting."

"Trixie hopes not! She remembers all the trouble those beasts created with their ponysuits," Trixie shuddered. "I hear that one of them is still a maid at the Sun Palace and..."

Trixie and Starlight froze at the sound of something large racing at the doors of the Friendship Palace. Both ponies could now hear a rough hairy huh-huh-huh-huh of something panting.

"Er, did we lock the door of the Palace, or -" Starlight broke off as they heard paws slapping over the stone floor, headed in their direction. "Guess not," she said in a sickly tone.

"Hold still, you beast!" A yelp followed and they heard the runner redouble their efforts. Rarity's voice cried out again. "You can't escape! I'll finally know the truth! Bwa-ha-ha!"

"Begone, you mad-mare!" A lupine voice yelped, now almost at the door. "I'm a wolf, not a pony -- Grrrr... I mean it's the other way around..."

Trixie shook, and then seemed to come to a decision. She gathered herself and stepped out in front of Starlight, looking defiant. Her horn began to glow with magic.

Something scrabbled at the door, and it burst open to display a frothing, eye-rolling, bristling, huge white-furred blue-eyed wolf. It raced at the mares, huge paws scratching over the paving stones. Behind him Rarity raced in, wearing what looked like a brightly colored Daring Do cosplay costume and toting a butterfly net.

The wolf charged Trixie, howling. "HELP ME!"

Trixie reacted on pure instinct. Her horn glowed and with a yelp, the wolf vanished.

"Trixie!" Rarity and Starlight both yelled. "Where did you send him?"

"I was about to learn about wolfponies!" Rarity wailed.

"Ugh! There are no wolfponies!" Starlight shook her head. She turned to Trixie. "Where did you teleport him? Not to the Spa!"

Trixie's eyes widened in shock and confusion.

"What? Why would Trixie send that shaggy beast to the Spa?" She pointed at the far northern part of the Friendship Map. "Trixie sent him back to the other Diamond Wolves. He can't cause any trouble there, can he?"

Far North, in Icehome:

"But I swear, I'm NOT a wolf!" Blueblood struggled to escape as two gruff Diamond Wolves in lupine barding dragged him down a icy hallway between them. "I'm really a pony! I'm Prince Blueblood of Equestria!"

He whimpered and cringed as they growled at him.

"Prince Erik can decide who crazy alpha is!"

Session 55.13 JDMiles

Rainbow Dash could only snicker and amusement as she watched her pursuer from atop a cliff. At the moment Zephyr was working on the obvious trap to capture her, consisting of a large barrel with a straw coming out of the bottom, right next to it was a sign that said "free cider!", and right next to that was a table with several assorted treats.

"Well, I'm pretty parched from all this running... and that idiot probably botched construction somewhere so whatever trap he said is bound to backfire." She smirked as she casually zoomed down to the barrel and started slurping from the straw. "Mmmm! Now that's top-quality cider!" She smiled, are the completely oblivious or just not caring about the large page those positions right above her.

Zephyr smirked as he strolled up to Rainbow Dash as she continued to drink. "Well if you like that, then you're going to love the little display I have planned for our date!" He said before pressing a large button, immediately vacate fell down... right on top of Zephyr.

"Called it." Rainbow smirked as she finished her drink... only to notice several missile launchers pop out of the ground around the cage. "Why the hell would you install missile launchers for a date!?"

"I just followed the instructions!" Zephyr whined. "I thought they were fireworks!"

The missiles immediately fired upon the helpless coyote, creating a massive explosion that Rainbow was somehow unaffected by, leaving him a smoldering pile of ash with eyeballs attached.

"Well, thanks for the drink but I gotta dash! MEEP-MEEP!"

And with that Rainbow bolted down the freeway once more.

Session 55.14 Kendell2

"So Pony Rangers style RPG?" Rainbow Dash asked as she looked at the box, which depicted a Pony Rangers style hero team.

"Kinda, but not exactly," Spike, who was the 'Director', AKA Game Master for the game. "It's called 'Pastel Squad', and the plot is you're a group of stunt actors on the set of a Pony Rangers style series who get fed up with your director's lame handling and decide to make your own."

Twilight nodded. "It's half RPG, where you play as the actors recording the episode, and half managing the studio. It sounds like it'll be fun. Rarity will join us when we get a Sixth Ranger."

"Alright, fine by me..." said Rainbow Dash. "I can play that, so what do we do?"

"Start with the tutorial, of course," said Spike.

"Wait wait wait," said Rainbow Dash after the tutorial completed. "We just fought a bunch of mooks and then beat the monster with the finisher right out of the gate!"

"Yep," said Spike.

"And the director says 'best episode of the season?' Oh come on, that's FIRST episode territory!" the cyan pegasus replied. "We didn't even get a giant robot fight!"

"Ah'm with Rainbow on that one," Applejack replied.

"Which is why you guys quit to go start your own," said Spike with a chuckle. "One of you has an uncle with a spare warehouse you can use, so what's your studio name?"

Session 55.15 Mtangalion

By this time, Prince Blueblood was so shaken up that he barely had the wits to pay attention to where the Diamond Wolf guards were taking him. Definitely not towards the main caverns, which he'd toured with Erik before. They padded into the side tunnels, down an older passage with fewer glow gems and more rough stone than wall carvings. The pony turned wolf stepped in a puddle of slushy ice and yelped, shaking a big fluffy forepaw that was now soaking wet and shockingly cold.

The guards barked with laughter and kept prodding him onward. Of necessity, he began to watch his step as they did. "Princesses save me," he rumbled to himself, quietly, or so he thought. "I'm becoming more like them already! No, no... I am myself! I am Blueblood the Prince, Blueblood the diplomat. I will think my way clear of awful mess. I'm not a savage beast!"

The guard on his left flattened his ears, snarling. "Shut up. Erik is Prince here, fool! He'll show you what happens when wolves insult Icehome Pack."

Blueblood cringing back, whimpering. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean..."

The second guard grinned, fangs showing. "No worries. Erik is strong! Even if crazy coward is really big, he's no match for Erik."

They shoved him roughly through an iron door, then followed him into the chamber beyond. Other wolves pulled the doors closed, sealing them inside. More golden eyes gleamed in the dim light, a surprising number of armed and armored wolves... who sat by the walls, standing watch?

Something nagged at Blueblood's memory, something from his diplomatic briefings. Challenges needed to be witnessed, if not by the whole pack, then at least by enough strong pack members to confirm that the alphas fought with their own strength. "No, no no... I can't die here. I have a ball to host this weekend! I'll get blood all over my... coat?" He groaned at his shaggy white fur. "Pull it together, stop babbling... Ah!! I'm possibly about to fight the duel of my life, and I'm stark naked. This is completely unacceptable."

When Prince Erik padded into the room, silver furred with his blue vest and polished moonstone collar, there was actually a flicker of doubt in the Diamond Wolf's eyes. Even *Erik* had to look up to Blueblood now! It passed in an instant, and the proud and confident Prince that Blueblood remembered from the Icehome-Crystal Empire treaty negotiations was back in full force.

Erik stalked right up nose to nose with Blueblood, smirking. "Young fool. What's this talk of you challenging me?"

"I'm not!" Blueblood blurted out. "I assure you, I am absolutely not here to challenge anyone for anything! Why does everywolf keeping saying that?"

Price Erik gave him that look, the sort of look that the Keeper of the Royal Treasury often wore when he couldn't decide whether Blueblood was an idiot, or having great fun mocking him. "You barged into Icehome," said Erik, with great patience. "Ignored guards. No respect for anywolf. Loudly demanding that you would see me at once. What are wolves supposed to think?"

Blueblood opened his jaws... then shut them with an audible snap. "Oh... Oh! Oh dear..." He felt as if he ought to be sweating... did wolves do that? "I'm very sorry! Yes, I'm most sorry, and I bow before the mighty and merciful Erik, Prince of Icehome! See, I'm doing it now!" He pressed his belly to the stone floor, wishing he could sink lower. "All hail Prince Erik!"

He was badly startled when most of the Diamond Wolves howled "All hail Prince Erik!" right after him. Some of the guards nodded fervently, and others whispered among themselves, tails wagging once again.

For his part, Erik covered his face with a paw. "Idiot. Lucky guards caught you before whole city saw. Who are you? What's your pack?"

"I don't have a pack," said Blueblood, and that somehow made every Diamond Wolf in the room gasp in dismay, as if he'd just confessed to wetting the bed nearly every week between the ages of five and seven. Even Erik seemed shocked.

Blueblood lowered his voice and pressed on. "I know I seem to be a wolf now, but in actuality, I am Blueblood of Equestria, a pony transformed into a wolf by one of Discord's pranks. Please, your highness, do you not remember me? I could sorely use your aid!"

Erik leaned closer, peering right into Blueblood's eyes, and he sniffed deeply too. "Great Fenris," he muttered, eyes widening. "You. I do remember." He nodded thoughtfully. "I still don't know how you convinced me to agree to all the terms I did. Yes, I remember the little princeling with such a gift for words..."

Blueblood's face lit up.

"Words like ‘Did you smell that one's breath? Revolting! Bring me a handkerchief at once!' and ‘I suppose it's better to trade with those meat-eating savages than to fight a war with them.'"

Blueblood froze. "I, ah... That is, you weren't meant to..."

Prince Erik grinned sharply, flicking his ears. "Wolves hear things." He lifted a paw and patted Blueblood on the shoulder heavily. "Must be sure you're not wearing magic costume. Pardon me."

Blueblood blinked. "Pardon you for what... Gah!"

In the space of a few moments, Erik seized Blueblood's forelimb, nicked it hard with a claw, and licked the trickle of blood. While Blueblood snatched his paw back, cradling it, Erik licked his chops, his expression growing astonished. "Wolf AND pony? What does this mean?"

The Prince stayed lost in thought for nearly half a minute before he grinned, nodding fervently. "I see. Your tale is true, and now you're playing the Wolf Game from OUR side of the board." He gave Blueblood another ‘friendly' clap on the shoulder, then raised his voice. "Listen, all of you! There's no challenge here. Icehome is secure. Bluvad comes from far off, and he doesn't know our ways. I will teach him, so he doesn't mess up again! Maybe he'll even join us, add his strength to Icehome! Go now, back to duties."

Blueblood watched the Diamond Wolf guards file out, most of them looking satisfied, some even offering him friendly waves or welcoming nods, but Blueblood himself swished his tail uncertainly. "Not that I'm not grateful, your highness, but surely there's no need. You can simply deliver me to Princess Cadence, and surely once all is explained, she will speed me on home, where I might be cured of my condition."

"Condition, is it?" said Erik.

Blueblood realized he'd put his hoof... or paw in his mouth yet again. "I didn't mean..."

Erik lifted a forepaw, and his claws were glowing white, trailing an icy mist. "You're really in a hurry to trade this..." He swept his paw towards a long wall, and ice grew upon it, condensing into a perfectly smooth mirror. "... for this?" Another wave, and magical ice crystals formed the shape of a familiar... and surprisingly little pony, one with a perfectly brushed mane and a courtly vest.

Blueblood hesitated, then padded towards his reflection, suddenly very aware of the weight of his steps, the power of his new form, all that muscle beneath his shaggy white fur and hide. "I... I never needed brute strength. I always had magic and royal guards for that." He clenched a forepaw. "It feels... good."

He saw Erik in the mirror, moving to stand beside him. "Wolves know Discord as Koschei. There's a saying from the old tales. Take Koschei's pranks with grace, and don't scorn his gifts."

Blueblood blinked. "A gift? I don't know if I'd go that far."

Erik laughed. "If Bluvad's in a big hurry to run on home to servants who roll their eyes before they do what he says, nowolf will stop him. Do what you will." He padded towards the door, not waiting for an answer.

Blueblood glanced at his reflection for a moment more, wheels turning in his head. "Maybe I *don't* need to leave right away. After all, it's not like I'm not running out on my royal responsibilities. Yes... yes, I'm ‘walking a mile in another pony's shoes,' or in another wolf's pawprints, I suppose... I'm bettering myself as a diplomat! Auntie Celestia would surely approve of that! I say, wait up!"

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (update already)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 55.0 Kendell2
Session 55.1 Devcon101
Session 55.2 Kendell2
Session 55.3 Alex Warlorn
Session 55.4 Kendell2
Session 55.5 Kendell2
Session 55.6 Alex Warlorn
Session 55.7 JDMiles
Session 55.8 Devcon101
Session 55.9 Kendell2
Session 55.10 QuartzScale
Session 55.11 Mtangalion
Session 55.12 Ardashir
Session 55.13 JDMiles
Session 55.14 Kendell2
Session 55.15 Mtangalion

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Cover art by StartledFlowerPony http://startledflowerpony.deviantart.com/art/RQ-Play-time-655641958

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Session 56

Session 56.0 Devcon101

The atmosphere was thick with the feeling of anxiety. Nurse Tenderheart took a deep breath as she steadied her hoof, holding a set of tweezers. Small beads of sweat formed on her face, glistening in the light. Her eyes narrowed, focusing her gaze on the hole. The object was really rather tiny, and there was little space to grip it, so she’d have to be extremely careful. She couldn’t afford another failure. It would ruin her.

Nurse Snowheart, Nurse Sweetheart and Nursery Rhyme watched her, clutched with the same anxiety that grasped Tenderheart. Nursery Rhyme bit her lip, watching the most intently of the three. This one performance bordered the line between success and failure. If she got it out, good. If she didn’t, well...

Nurse Tenderheart held her breath as she slowly lowered the tweezers down towards the hole, moving her head slightly to the side to get a better vantage point. The beads of sweat now slowly trickled down her face, new ones forming to take their place. The tweezers slowly descended, getting closer, and closer.

They were in the hole now, ever so slowly reaching down towards the foreign object. She lessened her grip on the tweezers, allowing them to open, just enough to allow them to seize the item. She lowered them down ever so slightly more and tightened her grip, the tweezers closing down on the item. She took a breath. Good. Now she just had to get it out.

The tweezers began to ascend, ever so slowly. Nursery Rhyme eyes still held their intense gaze, the other two nurses now growing even more anxious as to the outcome. Almost there...

Suddenly, the sound of a loud crash boomed through the room, coming from outside. It was so loud and sudden it startled everyone, including Nurse Tenderheart. Her hoof suddenly jerked in its positioning, bringing the tweezers and object with it and smashing them into the side of the hole. Nurse Tenderheart let out a loud (and overly dramatic, of course) “Noooo...!” as it did. There was no getting the item out now. She had failed...

The sound of a buzzer rang in response to the failed attempt, the nose of the pony on the board glowing red. Nurse Tenderheart let out a few choice words in a brief fit of anger as Nursery Rhyme let out a quick “Yes!”, for Nurse Tenderheart’s failure had practically just ensured she would win this round. The reached over the board for the Operation game they were playing and grabbed some pretzels from the bowl on the table, shoving them into her mouth with a grin.

Nurse Tenderheart looked down sullenly. Nurse Sweetheart put a hoof on her shoulder.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll get the bread basket next time."

Session 56.1 QuartzScale

“That turned out to be something right?” EG Rainbow Dash chuckled stiffly. She knew she had mess up the plan but after a few groans the others all sighed and forgave her. She endeavored not to make any more hasty decisions. The creepy background had also made the decision to let her off much better.

The Shadow Prison was obviously heavily based on the past games made by CrystalSoft. The bars were covered in black sludge and within were skeleton enemies unmoving and trapped to the walls still turning to dust. The music was also horrifying as screams and crying broke through the heavy use of the string instruments. Even worse was the lack of enemies in the area. The chat was exploding during their entire trek as well seeing as every Umbrum soldier immediately gained ten levels the moment that the area was opened.

“So girls we’re about to fight the true boss. Any ideas?” Pony Twilight chirped up while another scream permeated the air causing Fluttershy to scream in terror as well.

“Hope there’s a save crystal and not die?” Sci-Twi answer in response.

“Honestly, Ah was expecting a better plan...” Applejack chimed in.

“To be fair we are the first ones to make it here darling. No need to rock the boat as it were until we actually get into battle. Besides this will be just like the fight against Discord when we got tossed into his true boss fight. I can’t begin to tell you how many times that was. THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING!” Rarity cried out before recomposing herself with a lady like laugh which caused a few of the others to cringe from the act.

“Either way we’re already here... Everyone have their items ready. We got lucky during the Sombra fight but now we’re gonna have to activate TRY HARD MODE. Time to crank this party up!” Pinkie began casting the special buffs that could only be dispelled manually.

“Heroes I’m glad you have come along with me to handle the problems of the land. Whatever occurs here I shall accept wholeheartedly.” Radiant Hope spoke up. The others were especially glad to have her along for all the healing spells she knew and their source of not dying almost immediately.

“Ok girls. Time for the final boss and us finally finishing off this expansion.” Sunset called out as they all caused their avatars to strike a pose. The slight levity made them all chuckle as they went through the portal into an area only known as The Heart of Darkness.

In the center of the arena was the wounded and heavily ripped apart King Sombra utterly devoid of malice or magic. He was still aware yet his eyes merely showed more the more somber nature he had when he stared into the Crystal Heart. As the party stepped forward the entire arena shook mercilessly until a mass of growling shadows flowed from the ceiling until it enveloped the entire arena. The party watched helplessly as an Umbrum being rose from the shadows eclipsing even the normally large Umbrum Soldiers.

“Such worthless fools finding their way into here. Once again my useless son couldn’t even do the one thing I wanted him to do in the first place. Still I don’t hold it against you, son.” The large Matron Umbrum carefully rubbed one of its claws across Sombra’s cheek. All the players felt something sick about this but couldn’t place their hoof/hand on it.

“This is all your fault you little tramp! I should have taken care of you long long ago. You corrupted my dark angel and turned him into this pathetic display. But don’t worry I shall make sure to turn you inside out as my new throw rug. So says Rabia, Umbrum Matriarch.” Rabia screamed out as the players all took their spots.

= Okami - Yami OST =

The first phase consisted of Rabia using darkness magic to constantly burn through their buffs and nearly kill them all. Strangely enough Rabia targeted Hope more often than not. It forced the team to cover for her weakened defenses while the few who could attack whittled down her health bar.

“You fools dare to stand up to me. I will not stand for this insolence.” Rabia screamed out as several Umbrum soldiers came out of the woodwork.

The second phase truly cemented how evil Rabia was as she would take several of her soldiers and viciously rip their heads off both healing herself and absorbing their powers for her own. Suddenly she was issuing forth elemental spells, buffs, and debuffs galore based on which of the soldier types she chose to devour. Fluttershy had become particularly vocal about what she was going to do to this monster unfortunately she couldn’t glitch back into dire bear form. After that phase was over she went even further into villainous territory.

The third phase had her force those powers into Sombra and use him like a puppet. Her parasitic tendencies threw Sombra into unstoppable screaming as he was forced to fight once again while Rabia floated out of attack range. She would still munch on her own forces just to force more power into Sombra.

A secondary target appeared in the tentacle that was drilling into Sombra’s head. Without missing a beat Sunset changed her target towards the tentacle.

“What are you doing sugarcube?”

“I’m freeing Sombra. We promised Hope plus we might get better rewards if we do.” That moment was all that was needed to convince the more battle ready players to agree with their target choices.

“Rrrgh! Arrrrrgh...!” Sombra cried out as his skin cracked as if he was made of crystal instead of flesh before being discarded by Rabia.

“Poor boy. He is trying so hard for his mother. And because of this hussy he had forgotten how to truly live. All for the sake of the Umbrum. All for the sake of our conquest. Foolish races that stand in our way. Prepare for the true battle you’ve all been waiting for.”

Rabia focused all her power into a single point as a tear in the prison widened out. A cutscene played out as the party was dropped into the midst of the Crystal Heart chained by black magic while darkness eked out of it. The entire Crystal Empire was enveloped in darkness while the arena around the heart tightened even further. From the darkness Rabia grew, and grew, and grew some more until she was as big as the castle itself. When her face lowered to the party her eye eclipsed the player characters as if they were ants.

“Uh... Girls? What are we supposed to do? She’s become incorporeal.”

“She’s a corporal? I didn’t know she served the military.” Pinkie smiled out.

All she heard were a few polite coughs and frowned muttering about ‘No respect. No respect at all.’

“It means she can’t be targeted.” Sci Twi clarified.

“Bingo. So now what do we do?”

A prompt appeared on screen.

=]Heal Sombra
=]Activate Elements of Harmony

Without waiting Pinkie quickly picked the option to heal Sombra. This caused Radiant Hope to trot forward and use one of her strongest healing spells on Sombra. Within seconds he was back up to full strength and uncracked.

“WHY!?”

It was the general consensus amongst the party except for Pinkie and Fluttershy who were merely smiling at the lovey dovey actions while Rarity fantasized about her prince to be.

“Hope you are far too kind to me.” Sombra muttered.

“And she is too presumptuous. Please Sombra. For me help them.”

Sighing and grumbling Sombra was added to the party as an NPC. With a quick flick of the Blade of Deepest Shadow Rabia was forced into one position and targetable once again. With renewed resolve the party targeted the weak point. Unfortunately it was fruitless. After the seventh time draining Rabia’s health bar everypony was nearly out of health and potions.

“This isn’t working!” Dash screamed out as Rabia got back up.

“We need a better plan. What was the weakness of Umbrum?” Applejack drawled out.
“Light. But the only light bright enough was the... Crystal Heart! We need to free the heart!” Pony Twilight yelled out making a few girl’s ears ring like a church bell.

With a little finesse Sombra was convinced to cut the chains keeping the heart trapped while Hope used her magic to heal the darkness away with light.

= Okami - Rising Sun OST =

As the last chain was severed Rabia was forced back to her normally large form instead of her castle monster form. The light from the heart weakened but didn’t dissipate her completely. Every player immediately attacked her head on forcing the abomination back while Sombra and Hope kept the darkness at bay from the Crystal Heart. Rabia screamed out in frustration bellowing about the things she would do to the ponies who fought against her for this folly.

As Rabia’s health bar hit zero a new cutscene played out. The players charged their connection with the Elements of Harmony and fired the magic into the Crystal Heart. The heart spun out of control as waves of Harmony based magic lashed out slicing through the Umbrum. Each Umbrum was grafted into a mass of shadows before enveloping Rabia as well and dragging her into the door where they were sealed. As she slid away she grabbed onto Hope.

“I will take this fool with me! I shall never go back alone into the darkness without my play thing. She will know my rage for all eternity!” The maniacal laughter echoed out as Hope was dragged away.

Without waiting King Sombra tackled Rabia forcing her to let go of Hope as the Umbrum were dragged into the void, Sombra included. On cue Hope grabbed Sombra in a telekinetic field keeping him from being dragged into the same fate. The force was too powerful though and dragged her with him. Rabia kept clawing herself back out of the void but it was a fruitless battle. She was still targetable.

Another prompt appeared on the screen before them.

=] Assist Hope
=] Attack Rabia

“Oh geez... What do we choose?”

“If we attack maybe the portal will close faster!” Dash cried out as a timer appeared above the prompt and read sixty seconds left.

“But if we help Hope we could just pull them back in and let the vortex do it’s job.” Sunset pointed out.

“Let’s attack. I know it sounds crazy but it will probably stop after getting Rabia then we can grab Hope and Sombra.” While the few ponies who groaned about the decision they each accepted the risks of having to fight the entire battle again including heading back just to find the Radiant Hope NPC in case the developers made that kind of horrible design choice.

The Elements of Harmony charged up and struck Rabia directly in the chest cracking her shadowy form and forcing it all the way into the Shadow Prison chained by shackles forged from the virtues they portrayed while also sealing the Umbrum within behind bars made of the same light. As the beam of harmony flowed back out the portal closed leaving both Hope and Sombra falling from a grand height.

As the two got close together to await the sudden stop, two telekinetic fields gathered the two revealing both Cadance and Shining Armor finally arriving with the Crystal Empire.

= There are 4 triggers to get the Golden Ending.

You must have Radiant Hope as an NPC ally during the battle with Rabia and she must survive

When Sombra is taken over you must attack the tentacle instead of Sombra.

When choosing whether to heal Sombra or not choose to heal him.

During the final choice choose to attack Rabia or she will drag Sombra within the Shadow Prison as well.

Session 56.2 QuartzScale

Everyone banded together to watch the cutscene for the end to the Wrath of the Crystal King. It had been an arduous journey full of intrigue and drama that even Dash had to admit was kind of awesome but in a mushy way that she barely paid attention to.

“Thanks brave heroes for saving this realm from the darkness that threatened it. Without you the changelings would have taken control of Canterlot while the Umbrum would have massacred the Crystal Empire. Still there is one matter left at hand. What should be done with the Crystal King.” The Shining Armor NPC looked over at the passive Crystal King and the fawning Radiant Hope.

A prompt appeared on screen.

=] Activate Elements of Harmony
=] Side with Hope

“Well of course we’re gonna stop him-” Before Dash could jump the gun Fluttershy chose the Side with Hope option. When the others attempted to glare at her Fluttershy used The Stare right back making them cower at the sight of her gaze which somehow affected them even through the game’s screen.

After siding with Hope... some against the will of the others the Crystal Heart filled up with the power of light and struck the Crystal King in full force. The light blinded everyone’s screen forcing them to close their eyes while Pinkie merely sported a specialty pair of sunglasses.When the lights finally faded there stood a perfectly normal King Sombra as a unicorn instead of a Umbrum dictator. A chest materialized right in front of the Crystal Heart as the cutscene kept rolling.

The accolades of the citizens of the empire and the rising of the new Crystal Princess Cadance gave way to celebration. Unbeknownst to everypony but the party Sombra and Hope trotted away into a new world they could enjoy together. They left two chests behind though. One held the Blade of Deepest Shadow while the other held one of the most powerful healing spells available to learn which could be used on any player. The party had to discuss aggressively on who would get it.

When the cutscene finally came to an end the group traveled back to the Crystal Heart which now was clear of corruption for the entire group to see. At least until the raid boss became active. Without missing a beat Pinkie got to the chest first.

“I hope it’s something awesome. I really want to get a weapon for all this.” Dash grumbled out.

“Well it’s probably important and... It that there another one o’those Orbs of Prophecy we got from back during the Reins of Chaos ending.” Applejack’s eyes managed to widen in game as well as out of it.

“Let’s play it!” Pinkie screamed out causing a few ponies to cringe at the action.

The screen faded out and the CrystalSoft logo appeared.

Crystal Soft Presents:

The voiceover of Celestia booms out while text scrolls along the screen reading one year later.

“It has been a trying time in the land of Equestria. New alliances are forming by the day. With the inclusion of Yakyakistan and Icehome the borders of Equestria have known new peace. Several Changelings have even switched allegiances after the farce of an invasion left them unable to be a threat.”

The view of the Yak leader and Diamond Wolf leader meeting with Celestia, Luna, and Cadance rolls by while they all sit at the table. The voice of Luna soon followed.

“Still that doesn’t mean that evil has given up. Something far sinister waits in the wings. There have been several cases of ponies losing all magical abilities and several much troubling issues with something far worse. The gates of Tartarus are breaking... “

The gates of Tartarus are blood red and oozing with magical. Each section is made from the bones of the fallen and held together by writhing plant matter. It also seems to be partially crumbling.

“We have yet to find the cause but worry paints our every step as more ponies falter and fall to the creature stealing the magic from others. It is only a matter of time before the troubles become worse.”

The scene of Discord’s statue being stolen in a strange magical embrace floats by scaring several of the girls. Only a shadow can be seen but they were unable to make certain of who has done it.

“The gates of Tartarus will open and we can only rely on our protege and our heroes to handle the problems before us. Beware the monsters that roam the dark for if you tarry you’ll become their mark. Let the screams haunt your dreams. For no one who comes to fight will make it through another night.”

The voice starts to laugh maniacally as several scenes flash by. Several warriors fighting large demons that broke from the gates as trees grow from nowhere smashing them away. Several shadows envelope the stragglers while the glow of green fire signals a change. The scene switches over to the gates crumbling open as four hooves slowly step out of the portal. The camera slowly pans up only to quickly focus on the creatures yellow eyes but just by size its obvious that it’s not a pony.

“Heroes we must prepare for Ascension.”

The camera slowly focus on two unicorns from behind only focusing on their cutie marks. One is a purple unicorn with violet and magenta striped mane with a cutie mark of a purple star surrounded by smaller white stars while the other is a yellow unicorn with red and yellow mane and a sun cutie mark half red and half yellow as if to imply it being a sunset.

The screen fades to black as the words ‘Ascension is coming’ flashes on the screen before going dark. The girls are stunned but eventually find their voices.

“Sunset... Were those marks yours and Twilight’s?”

Neither girl could answer because of their NDA’s stopping them but the girls could speculate all they want.

Session 56.3 Kendell2

The Mane Six and Chaos Six (plus their respective Starlight Glimmers) finally made it to Grogar's throne room (again).

The monster growled. "You come again? When will you learn that resistance is futile?"

"When are yah gonna learn that we don't give up easy?" asked Applejack prime asked.

Grogar growled and jumped down from his throne. "Then I'll have to teach you a lesson."

The battle began, only this time it was 12 on one instead of six on one and working together was much easier to face him.

The two Twilights bombarded him with spells, Twilight's being light magic and Chaos Twilight using dark magic, both covering for the differences in their classes and powering one another up.

Orangejack powered up Applejack with her musical spells as a bard, while Applejack attacked with her arrows.

Pinkie Pie likewise powered up Pinkamena, who did some melee. Grogar was alsu vulnerable to her holy weapons (Pinkamena also made a good healer).

Both Fluttershys took care of healing.

Rainbow Dash, being a Barbarian used melee combat while Chaos Rainbow covered her with arrows, firing whenever she fell back or was knocked away.

Rarity attacked Grogar with melee from the front while Chaos Rarity took advantage of the distraction to backstab and poison Grogar.

The Starlights...did whatever their mismatched abilities were able to, but they seemed to work together rather well as the classes they chose complimented each other.

Grogar gave a roar of pain as Twilight and Chaos Twilight hit him with a combined light and darkness attack, technically depleting his HP. "Enough!" he roared, six gems attached to his neck around his bell glowed, each looking like a synthetic diamond. He was surrounded by a 'rainbow', which was simply just grey with each a slightly different shade, digitized lightning crackling through it.

=Balance Slays the Demon - Alan Wake's American Nightmare=

"Not this time!" yelled both Twilights. All 12 transformed into their Element charged state and combined their powers together. The normal brightly colored Rainbow emerged and swirled around a dark colored Rainbow that crackled with lightning.

They flew up and slammed down on Grogar, clashing with his artificial ones for a few moments...until the ones attached to him sparked and cracked, exploding in a burst of energy.

Grogar roared out as the twin Rainbows washed over and flew around him, turning him to stone and shattering him to bits.

The group blinked, finding themselves back at the gaming table, the game world gone and their two GMs sitting at their screen.

"And with the Shadow King Grogar vanquished, Equestria was saved," Accord finished.

Discord snapped his talons and balloons and confetti fell from the ceiling. "Congratulations!"

Session 56.4 Alex Warlorn

"WHAT IS GOING ON AROUND HERE?!" Cloudy Strike exclaimed as he wandered through yet another abandoned town that looked like everyone had simply left on the same day. He'd chalk this up to monster attacks, but he hadn't had a single monster encounter. He was a blond pegasus with blue eyes and a wild spiky mane and an oversized sword, that many a pony missed was SUPPOSED to be exaggerated to contrast his underlying self-doubt. Or the time he made a heart broken forced laugh, and it was taken out of context and presumed to be bad acting.

And worst of all, his team mates seemed to have all up and vanished into thin air. He was all alone. There wasn't even that floating window of text that normally popped up when he found something important.

"Where all the townsponies?! Why are there tape recorders everywhere?! And what's with all the posted notes!? Was there a clearance sale or something!? Hellloooooooo? Is anyone heeeeeeeear?" He called out to the empty world. Everything still and frozen. "How am I supposed to become endeared to a colorful cast of companions and friends and inspired to save the world when there are no people?!"

000

"AAAAH!!!" Screamed the nameless, faceless, genderless, species-less, tribe-less and until quite recently, completely voiceless 'pony'. He backed away into a alleyway, terrified and confused. "Why is everything moving?! What are these THINGS going about everywhere?!"

This wasn't how the world was supposed to be, the world was supposed to be still, calm, and only change when he interacted with something.

"We aren't things, we're people. We tell you interesting stuff about what's going on," said a helpful townspony happy to explain things to the newest traveler through town.

"But... but... you don't look like tape recorders!"

"Huh?" The townspony blinked.

"And where are all the posted notes?!"

"Well, I can tell you about how that pony the blank cloak discovered he was genetically modified with DNA from an evil alien that his father mistook for a ancient race of ponies, and thinks its his mother and wants to blow up the world because it's what his 'mother' would want-"

"How am I supposed to figure out the mystery when there is no mystery?!"

000

"Mommy! My video games are acting weird!"

Discord popped in. "Oh it's not acting weird Button Mash! You told Sweetie Belle, who told Spike, who told Thorax, who told Trixie, who told me, that you were wonder how different video game heroes would handle different adventures! And now you do!"

"But I can't play their games like this! Cloudy Strike can't manipulate puzzles and the other guy can't fight monsters or level up or equip stuff!"

Button Mash thankfully didn't know there was also the hero now put into a Dark Spirits game who was now too terrified to talk with or buy from anypony, since once you bought all their stuff or helped them with their problems, they went crazy and tried to kill you, got killed, or killed themselves.

While the Dark Spirits hero was going in circles from thinking how the characters obviously trying to help him achieve his destiny 'must be' manipulating him to their own ends, and the ones trying to kill him and bring about the destruction of the world must be just trying to help bring about the next natural age of the world.

"Well, then, I'll chalk that up to Discord's School of Careful What You Wish For!"

Princess Luna teleported into Button Mash's bed room, within a tornado of blue smoke.

To the sound Button Mash's mother rushed in wielding a katana, eyeballed Luna, and quickly said, "Cosplay!" And pulled her son out.

Princess Luna boomed, "Discord, we are here to stop thy evil scheme to destroy all hope and imagination."

"WHAT?!"

"It has become common knowledge now in Ponyville for ponies to fear expressing their hopes and wishes because they fear you shall hear them, and take it as justification to perform one of your sick games on them. This discourages ponies from sharing said hopes and dreams, thus punishing ponies from sharing their imagination, and thus limits the growth of Ponykind... what else could this be but an evil scheme, and deserving to be stone once more? Unless thy art an idiot and cannot tell recognize hyperbole or figures of speech. So which is it Discord?"

-

Trixie asked. "Discord, why are you wearing a dunce cap?"

"Shut up."

Session 56.5 Alex Warlorn

Rarity said politely, "Spike, darling, when you said you'd made a fan module for our super-mecha game based on one of the most famous manegas of all time, I shall confess I was expecting something a bit more... emotionally complex."

Spike looked geniunely confused. "Why? What's wrong with it? I fixed all the problems the show had!"

Shining Armor, who for once was playing WITH his little sister rather than one of them being behind the game master screen, explained. "You took a villain with complex and meaningful goals, driven by motives that anypony could relate to, and turned him into a 1-D super-villain who nothing ever goes right for. Rather than him being undermined and thwarted by the very thing that drove him to enact his plans to begin with."

"That's not true!"

Rainbow Dash said, "You had him rambling about how he was gonna conquer the world! You didn't once mention his special somepony who he's actually doing all his evil stuff For!"

"Oh come on Rainbow! You love villains who are just there for the heroes to punch out! Don't deny it!" Spike defended.

"Yeah, when we're playing Power Ponies, if this was Power Ponies, I wouldn't be complaining." Rainbow Dash said. "Actually, I would if Miester Freeze suddenly forget his wife existed, and was interested in just robbing banks!"

"Like in The Batmare cartoon?" Shining Armor offered.

"Yes, like in The Batmare cartoon."

"And what happened to the Sealing?" Rarity asked.

"Who?" Spike asked in an innocent and lost tone.

"Uh," Shining wasn't sure how to start. "The secret organization that was manipulating the world for decades, the one who Greenmeadow Starry was always reporting to? The guys who wanted to destroy the world and let everypony be united in the after life, who Greenmeadow was towing the line between obeying and pursuing his own agenda? And were the ones who actually ordered Kanji's assassination? The ones Greenmeadow told 'death creates nothing', just before they had their OWN army attack of giant Alicorn clones attack the base once the last Draconequus was dead?"

"Oh... they all died, or something," Spike said with the dismissive tone one would give to a one-scene background character in a filler chapter.

"Well, that's an inversion of the rest." Twilight said. "You had all the ponies driven crazy by the Third Disharmony suddenly recover. You had all the spirits of all the moms freed from the mechas and restored to physical form... without any of how this would affect any of the characters EXCEPT Sunny I'm-Starry! And you had Kanji turn out to be 'just in a coma', and THEN you had-"

"FINE FINE YOU HATED IT! I GOT IT!" Spike snorted and pouted.

The ponies looked at each other.

"Dear..." Rarity said carefully. "We thought the way you GMed the battles with the Draconequi were all well done, and you did a nice job translating the giant Alicorn Clone mechas into game stats. And your designs of the city, was all well done. We LOVED all the epic battles you put together! They were all very exciting! And I'd love to play them again! But... I feel that you made things a little too black and white. If you have a villain who did what they did for self-centered reasons, you shouldn't go back and make it not be their fault they tried to end the world."

"Oh... you mean like how in Pony Rangers, that elite team who turned evil, was retconned in the comics to be under mind control? Or the pony ranger who turned evil after using dark magic, was retconned after he was back to normal to be possessed by a wolf pony spirit? Or how in the original Neighponese version, the Green Pony Ranger wasn't brainwashed until halfway through?"

"Yes darling."

"And like when they retconned a mind control chip in the heads of all the Clone Trooper ponies who turned on the Jedi?" Rainbow Dash Added.

"Not quite what I meant, but in the same spirit. And if you have a villain who were under the delusion they were helping ponies, you shouldn't go back and make them out to be Evil Incarnate, like they did with the prequels to The Master in the Fallout Equestria prequels books. It makes it feel like they're separate characters, rather than the original character having found redemption."

"Yeah," Rainbow Dash added, "If you have a villain who starts out a loud mouth jerk, they should stay a loud mouth jerk, only a GOOD loud mouth jerk rather than a ROTTEN loud mouth jerk."

-

Playing poker with Prince Blueblood, Trixie sneezed.

Session 56.6 Ardashir

"Sister, I am curious -- have you noticed that our nephew Blueblood has been missing for several days?" Luna frowned at the screen as she worked the computer with her magic. "Vile monster!"

"No, Luna, but I did notice that there were far fewer complaints from the staff about Blueblood's inability to clean up his messes," Celestia said as she watched her sister try -- and fail -- to win at one of those games from the other universe Twilight had visited. She hid a smile as, with a wicked cackle, the monstrous Rabia ate Luna's character. "I believe you are supposed to work as part of a team in this game."

"They are all busy now," Luna snorted. "Apparently they are either at their employment or schooling." Rabia killed her even faster this time. Luna cast her hooves up in disgust. "Enough! I will attempt this again later when they are free and we may save the Crystal Empire. Speaking of which, sister, how goes it with Cadence? Has she yet had any problems with her new neighbors, the Yaks and Diamond Wolves?"

Celestia shook her head. "The Yaks are peaceful, for once." She lowered her head to her dish and ate a few bites of cake. "But she says they have received some odd messages one wolf in Icehome. Something about 'that crazy Rarity' and 'no we're not wolf-ponies' and 'tell my aunties'."

Luna blinked. "Those messages are indeed strange."

"There's one more," Celestia added, taking a look out into the main hall. From here she could just see the stained glass window depicting the Element Bearers' victory over Discord. "Something about 'wanting to stick Discord in a flea collar and see how he likes it'."

Both alicorns looked at each other in confusion.

And far north...

"Are you sure this will work?" Blueblood, still a wolf, but for now wrapped in a cloak, asked a similarly cloaked Alisa. He looked at the pile of ponysuits she had and shuddered. "Must I -- Must I go as a mare? Even if it will get me back to Equestria?"

"Alisa only have mare-suits," the she-wolf responded. "She does not like pretending to be male. And besides, Wolf-Blueblood cannot be going yet; still waiting on audience with Prince Erik!"

Session 56.7 Alex Warlorn

Crystal Ball, the old gypsy pony who had the honor of hypnotizing Princess Celestia for the amusement of Princess Luna on the day of the Sisterhood Social, and using her hypo-swirlie eyes to calm two giant sized pets, observed the current contest of who was the greatest mind controller of Equestria. And the day was only half over.

"Why I not invited? Old lady always ignored. They better make me judge for this." One of Starlight Glimmer's magical mind control spell bombs zeroed in on the old mare and flew towards her. The old gypsy gave it the evil eye. "Don't even vo be thinking bout it!"

The spell prompt went off to find another target.

Session 56.8 Kendell2

After defeating another terrifying and difficult boss in World of Hoofcraft, the group decided to unwind in the Rainbows and Crystals beta to unwind.

Applejack planted another Apple Tree as her ingame self and collecting several that had dropped. Heading back into her little simulated house, she went to the kitchen and started a cooking mini game that she admitted was kind of fun. Which was a plus in her mind, since if it wasn't cooking would probably get rather tedious, and it was her best way to get friendship points. "Ah have tah admit, Ah'm glad they added in a lot of recipes for this game."

"I think they just added an NPC named Sweet Berry to the game you can learn even more from," said pony Twilight as she, as Minty, headed to an NPC named Story Belle who gave out a story a day if visited. Not only were the stories kinda fun, listening to them helped level up in intelligence, naturally one of the things she was interested in.

"I have to admit, darling, I AM impressed by how much work has gone into this game, given World of Hoofcraft is their flagship game," Rarity noted, Princess Rarity currently riding around Unicornia on a rainbow. Granted, it wasn't as good as flying as a Pegasus, but that was kind of the point of Pegasi being a different class. The game world was quite breathtaking, especially when your character got a good look at it. "Given how popular it is, they probably could've pumped out a few moderately good side games and still profit."

"Maybe somepony at Crystalsoft really, really likes the game?" asked Pinkie Pie, her ingame self trotting up to another player. 'Hi! What's your name?' she wrote in chat, ingame Pinkie Pie waving.

The other pony waved. 'Hi! My name's Screwball!' called the other player. 'Wanna see my house? My kitchen has a rollarcoaster!'

'Really? Wow! My attic has a Ferris Wheel!' Pinkie replied, unknowing she was speaking to a sapient anti-hacker program produced by human Discord's boredom.

'Cool!'

Ever competitive Rainbow Dash shrugged, as she was currently focused on a race with Star Catcher. Given it's nature the closest thing the game had to bosses were ponies REALLY good at certain mini games. "Maybe...Not my favorite game, but I guess I can see why somepony would like it," she replied, keeping her eyes on the game. To get the best thing you could from Starcatcher, you had to not only beat her in the race, but beat her with a high friendship score. IE, fair and square, without any of the typical racing game methods of knocking opponents out of your way. While she'd not admit it, she did find such a challenge right up her alley.

Fluttershy merely hummed contently as her breezie self finished befriending a ladybug pet. Pets were still early and there weren't a lot of them to choose from (many more would be added in the final version).

"Hey, they added a new castle..." said human Twilight, heading towards it. It was currently rather barren, but had signs saying 'Music Castle Coming Soon'. "Looks like we're going to be able to learn music of some sort...Work in progress though."

The group blinked (minus Rainbow) and looked as Sunset giggled. Her ingame character was currently exploring the area around Ponyville.

"What?" Rarity questioned.

"Oh, nothing...just imagine the music crew is having fun."

Adagio growled. "Why do we have to record so much cutesy junk?!" the siren asked. Mentally, what she actually said was 'If I had my powers I would kill you all'.

"Because we have an entire location of 'Rainbows and Crystals' devoted to music," said human Discord.

"I like it!" Sonata cheered.

Aria shrugged. "I really don't care. So long as we get our money."

"Don't worry, you'll get to go back to dark and gritty soon enough," Discord replied. "Ascension revolves around evil demons and evil beings, it will probably be the exact opposite of that."

"Aww..." Sonata muttered.

Session 56.9 Devcon101

The human Trixie pulled up a video on her laptop, an excited grin on her face. She’d been waiting for the full release of the game ever since her time as a beta tester for it, and while it had yet to launch, the trailer for its launch had been finally completed.

This particular trailer wasn’t supposed to arrive until the following day, but as she was the daughter of the CEO of the main company behind it got her some benefits, including her mother allowing her to see the launch trailer a day early. She eagerly clicked play on the video as it came up, putting on her headphones as it began.

Tiny glowing cinders blew across a black background. For a brief moment, the message “not real gameplay” in small white letters was visible in the bottom right corner. Suddenly, a female voice began to speak, breaking the silence.

“My greatest triumph was at hand. The final campaign in what had seemed to be an endless war against Superstallion. While his powers were drained from battle after battle, I struck, luring him out of his self imposed exile like a rat from its hole.”

There was a brief pause.

“But my obsession with ending him, my desire to prove myself the better, had blinded me. Made me unable to stop and see who the true threat was. And Equus would pay the price.”

The scene cut to a ruined city, smoke clouds rising into the sky as the seemingly lifeless body of one Emerald Arrow was seen crushed beneath the rubble of a building. Suddenly, an older looking Wonder Mare entered the scene, being knocked hard into another building nearby. She growled with anger.

“COME GET SOME!” she roared, as the hulking robotic Metallo-dog tore across the battlefield after her, a large bulky arm raised to smash into the mare. Wonder Mare swiftly dodged out of the way and sliced off the hand, before grabbing him by the back and with a hefty throw sent him flying, jumping off after him. In the background, a huge purple dragon roared at something off-screen before getting hit with a bright green energy blast, knocking it over into a building which crumbled beneath its weight, before falling just before the screen, if not dead then at least unconscious. An older Hoof Jordan flew down into view, his right hoof covered in a green armor construct.

Suddenly from off to the side, a stallion in a black suit with a lightning bolt on the front flew into view, glaring.

“LANTERN! WHY DON’T YOU TAKE ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE?!” shouted Black Andy, before flying off, Hoof Jordan flying close behind.

The scene then cut to an armored Batmare that glared at something off screen. It panned out to show the Streak, who quickly zoomed off, and Cyboarg who shot off a few blasts behind them.

“Cyboarg, focus fire on Luthor! I’m calling in the heavy artillery!” she ordered, hopping down from her vantage point and inputting some commands into a device on her wrist. The half-boar half machine nodded and fired a few blasts at the same thing Batmare had been glaring at prior, the scene moving over to show them impact a force-field of some sort. Moments after, a barrage of missiles zoomed over Batmare and Cyboarg’s heads and flew straight for the barrier, smashing into them with a large explosion.

The scene zoomed in to show Lula Luthor in her large, blue, robotic suit standing just behind the field, lowering her suits arm as she smoke from the blast cleared. She took a few steps forward, glaring as two cannons on her back began to charge up.

“Deathstrike! Show these fine folk a good time!” The master assassin stood up, twirling a sword in one hoof before jumping off to join the fight. The purple unicorn Circe strode into view, eyes glowing the same blinding white as her horn as she cackled, letting loose a white bolt as a counterattack, the cannons on Lula’s back firing off an energy barrage in sync.

The scene cut once again to the battlefield, where Metallo-dog had recovered and swung fist after fist at Wonder Mare, only for her to grab him and throw him onto his back. Metallo-dog tried to get up, but Wonder Mare quickly jumped atop him and with one pull tore off one of his oversized arms. She then lifted her sword and sliced off his head, the green glow in his eyes flickering off as she raised the head victoriously. A gun shot blew it from her hoof, and she turned to glare at Deathstrike, who dashed across the war ground toward her, drawing his sword.

The scene once more cut away to a building looking over the battle, upon which stood the draconnequus Jester, who impatiently grabbed a large gun from his partner in crime, Harlequinn.

“Come on Harl! We’ve got some murdering to do!” he said with a mad evil laugh, pointing the gun down towards the combatants and Harlequinn grabbed hold of the back of his shirt to keep him from falling off. He fired off a few powerful rounds at the Streak, who just narrowly managed to avoid them. As he prepared for his next assault, Harlequinn looked behind them to see Black Andy and Hoof Jordan flying towards them, quickly yelping in fear as she pulled herself and Jester down, narrowly avoiding getting hit by the two who flew just above them.

Hoof Jordan fired a green energy blast which sent Black Andy flying into the ground, causing large chunks of the ground to fly off as he impacted, forming a small crater. Hoof Jordan proceeded to grab the near unconscious Black Andy, forming a gauntlet construct on one hoof which he smashed into Black Andy, sending him speeding off and into a building in the background, into which he crashed, sending large chunks of its wall careening off.

The scene cut back to Wonder Mare and Deathstrike, trading blow for blow with their swords. Wonder Mare kicked away the assassin and jumped overhead, attempting to impale him with her sword. Deathstrike quickly dodged out of the way as Wonder Mare’s sword embedded itself into the ground. He struck at her with his sword, which she blocked with her horseshoes, retaliating with a powerful punch. He jumped out of the way, causing her to smash through the wall of the building behind him. Removing her hand from the hole she had made, she whipped back around, only to see Deathstrike holding her lasso in front of her, shaking it mockingly.

“Loose something, princess?” he taunted, before quickly ducking down to reveal Circe standing right behind him, who gave an evil grin as she let off a charged blast as Wonder Mare.

The scene was back to the fight between Hoof Jordan and Black Adam. Hoof Jordan created multiple shield constructs between him and Black Adam, only for him to break through each with a single punch. As Hoof Jordan struggled to form another, he quickly tackled him, sending them both hurtling into the ground. Hoof Jordan tried to get back up, but found Black Adam atop him, one hoof standing upon the hoof upon which was his ring, using his superior strength to slowly smash it into the ground. The sound of cracking was heard as Hoof Jordan let out a grunt of pain, Black Adam beginning to crush his hoof into paste. The Streak took notice and dashed toward the two at sonic speed. Black Adam glared, before looking to the sky, pulling his trump card just as the Streak reached them.

He roared the mystical word that gave him his powers aloud, and immediately a powerful lightning bolt streaked down from the heavens and impacted the ground. A massive explosion boomed out from the source, followed by a large shock-wave. The field Lula stood behind was shattered, the mare raising one arm against the blast as she was knocked clean off her feet. Batmare ran from the shock-wave which swept up Cyboarg and the rubble around them, burying him beneath it and sending Batmare flying.

The scene once more cut to black, only to open back up to the scene of Hoof Jordan’s ring sitting abandoned on the ground, showing no sight of the three that had been there. It zoomed out to show the utterly massive impact crater that had formed, smoke rising from the center.

It cut to a pile of rubble, from which climbed out Batmare, who looked around at the battlefield. The screen moved up to show Deathstrike holding Wonder Mare’s lasso, standing on two crossed metal bars above Batmare. With one swing he lassoed Batmare, and jumped off his vantage point, dragging the weakened hero toward him. She glared and threw a kick at him, only for him to jump back and, using the bars as a support, hoisted Batmare off the ground with a hefty pull.

The scene cut to Harlequinn, who Jester shoved off him as he got to his feet. He let out a deep cough as he grabbed the blaster, looking over the battlefield through his goggles. The scope in his goggles allowed him to spot the hanging Batmare, who Deathstrike was beating like a pinata. He snarled.

“What’s this? If anyone’s gonna kill the bat, it’s gonna be me!” And with that, he let loose a powerful blast, which flew through the air toward them. The scene cut to Wonder Mare, laying in the rubble as Jester’s blast struck his target in the background. Her eyes slowly opened as she let out a moan of pain, only for a large mechanical hand to grab her. She was lifted up to reveal Lula in her robotic suit, who growled at her.

“Call for him! BRING HIM TO ME!” she roared, only for Wonder Mare to return with nothing more than a glare, breathing heavily. Lula narrowed her eyes, and suddenly an off screen arc of lightning struck into Wonder Mare’s chest, causing her to let out a loud scream of agony.

The scream was echoed for dramatic effect as the screen left earth to reveal Superstallion floating in space before the sun. As the final echo rang, it zoomed in on his face. His closed eyes opened to reveal glowing red orbs behind them, and he flew off screen. The screen cut to a view of Equus, where nothing more than a streak could be seen of Superstallion as he soared over the planet.

It went back to viewing the surface as Lula watched a small glow of light appear in the sky, from which came Superstallion, thundering down from the sky and smashing into the ground, before standing up, glaring at Lula who could only smile.

“Welcome back.” she said in a mocking tone, as Superstallion’s glare intensified.

“BATMARE!” he roared, as Lula’s grin faded into a frown.

“Adam!” she shouted in turn, and while Batmare did not appear, Black Adam did, flying through a building in the background and smashing into Superstallion, sending them both flying. He threw numerous punches into Superstallion, only for them to do nothing. As his hoof flew to try again, Superstallion grabbed it with his and twisted it back with a sickening snap. Black Adam roared in pain as Superstallion pulled him close, letting loose his heat vision straight into Adam’s eyes. Black Adam’s body slunk down as a green laser blast slammed into Superstallion from off screen, causing him to whip his head around to look at the attacker.

Lula ran toward him, the two blasters on the back of her mech letting off a barrage against him. He only glared and flew at her, grabbing the two energy cannons and tearing them off effortlessly. He then grabbed the mech and pulled her up to him.

“YOU DON’T DESERVE TO LIVE!” he roared, tossing her off into some buildings in the background. He breathed heavily, before trotting over to Wonder Mare, who’s body lay lifeless in the rubble. He knelt down and picked her up, staring down at the face of his love...only to begin coughing as a green glow shone on his face, dropping the body down. Wonder Mare’s face turned to the camera, revealing kryptonite shards within her mouth. He put a hoof to his heart and doubled over, lying in a crater beside her.

He struggled to pick himself up, only for mechanical clanking to be heard as Lula trotted over, holding a long metal spear with a shard of kryptonite for a head. She grinned maniacally.

“Finally, after all these years. Superstallion beaten by a mere mare. I never thought I’d see the day.” Superstallion looked up to glare at her.

“You...”, he choked out, “...you’ve...lost...everything...”

“Lies...” she hissed, “...I’ve beaten you. Years of endless warring finished, as finally I, Lula Luthor, END YOU!” And with those last two words she stabbed the kryptonite into him, twisting the spear around until finally he dropped dead. She looked down with a triumphant grin...until she looked up as a dark shadow fell over her.

She looked up in terror as the screen panned up to show a massive alien armada fly into view over a dark gray sky, soaring overhead. It cut back to her face, eyes darting between the ships, before the image of an older Lula, one eye glowing white, faded into view over it, before she looked down at a much younger Batmare, Superstallion and Wondermare, standing before them in her mech suit, which showed much further wear and tear. Behind her, a large window depicted a view of Equus.

“Barniac had returned to claim the Equus for his own. For ages he had been biding his time, stealing away Equus’s champions while we were too busy fighting amongst ourselves. Once the greatest of its defenders were dead, he moved in and took it all for himself. I only barely survived, living like a rat among the wasteland as every last living being fell to Braniac.” She paused. “I have for that reason traveled back in time to warn you of the future. If we are to prevent ponykind’s end, we must work together. We must change it.” She looked back at the window, as a large white dot shown on Equus, before a visible shock-wave was seen shooting from it in all directions.

Batmare glared and stepped forward.

“What have you done Luthor?!” Lula glared back.

“I’ve given you a fighting chance!” Batmare’s eyes narrowed further.

“...She’s lying. It’s clearly a trap.” However, she paused, before asking, “Why should we trust you?”

The screen shifted to view Luthor's face as she looked into the camera with narrowed eyes.

“Because, if you don’t, then Equus shall fall...”

And with that, the screen cut to black, as the title, “Lulamoon Comics Online” appeared on screen, before disappearing, the words “Coming Soon...” replacing it. They remained for but a moment before fading to black as the trailer ended.

Trixie was left with a wide smile as the trailer came to a close.

“This is gonna be good!”

Session 56.10 Mtangalion

Trixie glared at Prince Blueblood across their poker table. “Trixie is finding this tall tale of yours more unbelievable by the moment. There’s nothing remotely wolf-like about you!”

Prince Blueblood put on his third most smug grin. “What, not even a bit of predatory cunning? My dear Trixie, I’m wounded... but of course I shall tell you more of what happened, provided you stop interrupting!”

Apparently, Icehome had an entire series of caverns that were more packed full of ancient junk than the attic of Canterlot Castle. Blueblood wasn’t sure why he was surprised.

Prince Erik glowered at a female wolf with strange goggles and disheveled gray fur. “Well, Olya? You’re the storeroom keeper, can’t you find what we need?”

Olya tunneled into another small mountain of dusty old leather armor, just her rump and wagging tail visible. “Collar for friendly visiting wolf, not of Icehome pack? Not sure we’ve had one of those since grandfather worked here!” Several collars were tossed out, bouncing and rolling past. “Nope. Nope, nope!” She backed out and trotted back to Blueblood, leaning very close as she looped a measuring tape around his neck and grinned at the numbers.

Blueblood coughed, feeling warm. “Pardon me, miss, but didn’t you already measure me twice before? Perhaps there’s something in that pile over there!”

Olya snatched Blueblood’s outstretched forepaw and measured its length and width, whistling appreciatively.

Erik swatted the measuring tape away. “Bluvad needs collar, not snowshoes.”

Olya bowed, though she kept sneaking glances at Blueblood. “So why’s the prince looking for collars here? Just ask...”

“No,” said Erik gruffly. “Not her.”

“But her shop...”

Erik started to retort angrily, but another wolf came loping in and skidded to a stop just then. “Prince! Pavel froze himself in ice block again.”

Blueblood blinked. “I’m sorry... Did he say ‘again?’”

Erik rolled his eyes. “Is fine, just magic surge. Iosef, show me. You!” He eyed Blueblood. “Stay out of trouble.”

The moment they were alone, Olya padded over, brushing her flank against Blueblood’s. “Olya knows a good place. No trouble there!”

Blueblood gasped, eyes fluttering closed for a moment. Would it really hurt to linger, he found himself wondering? Olya’s fur was warm and soft, her eyes inviting, her fangs sharp and oh merciful Celestia, the female wolves were starting to look good to him.

Really, though, what was the worst that could happen?

Olya trotted into the throne room of Equestria, head held high and three adorable white-furred wolf pups trotting at her heels. “That’s him, great Sun Princess! Bluvad is father of my pups.”

Princess Celestia loomed over him, blazing like an imminent supernova. “You’ve shirked your responsibilities and embarrassed the royal family for the last time, nephew! I sentence you to be a wolf FOREVER!”

Blueblood yipped, hopping away from Olya. “Thank you, miss! Perhaps I’ll take you up on that... some other time?” He trotted out of the storerooms hastily, and nearly ran right into another small horde of female wolves. His well-honed instincts for evading tabloid reporters guided him swiftly around a corner.

“I will have the new male first!” he heard one of the she-wolves declare.

“Why not me first?” growled another wolf, and the conversation quickly became a confused babble of voices. “Why not all of us?” “Yes, why not!?” “You know nothing! Males get full of themselves if they know every female wants them! We use traditional way.” “Traditional way is dumb.” “Is not!”

“Traditional way?” mused Blueblood. He peeked around the corner.

Two of the she-wolves were facing off, waving their paws up and down. “Rock, paper, claws!” they chanted. They frowned. “It’s a tie?” “Do it again.” “Rock, paper, claws! Rock, paper, claws!” “Told you this way was stupid.” “Is not stupid!”

Blueblood couldn’t help but chuckle deeply, and six pairs of ears instantly pricked up. He cringed, started to creep away in the other direction, then broke into a run.

“First one to catch gets first date!” shouted one of the she-wolves, and the hunt was on.

Session 56.11 Kendell2

"Yes! I won!" exclaimed Rainbow Dash, finally managing to win the Star Catcher race, which won her character the ability to use her wings (or as Star catcher put it, she could 'give your wings a makeover' to look like hers if you liked), though proper cyan rather than white. "Cool! Now I can use those awesome wings of hers!"

'Congradulations! You can get a racing Cutie Mark!' the game said. 'Get your Cutie Mark in this category?'

Rainbow smirked. "Racing Cutie Mark? You know it..." she said, pressing Yes.

A glowing sparkle of light flickered on her character with dramatic music, revealing...

"What?!" the human asked.

"What, got one you didn't like?" Sunset asked, looking over (having been working on her house) and her jaw dropping.

The Cutie Mark her ingame character got was identical to the pony Rainbow's, that was to say the symbol Rainbow liked to put on all her stuff.

"How...how does that even happen?!" asked Rainbow Dash, eyes wide.

Pony Twilight looked over at the computer. "Well...Cutie Marks are kind of a magical thing..." she said, not that surprised given how things work in Equestria. After all, even if different choices lead to different marks, there was something supernatural about a Cutie Mark. "Is it really an issue? You really like that symbol."

"I guess not...just kinda freaky..." muttered the human, but did feel it felt right...

Pinkie Pie giggled. "It looks good on you, Dashie..." she said, then continued playing a mini game called Butterfly Tag on Butterfly Island (letting her see the new Cutie Mark in game) with Screwball. It was basically just riding around a swarm of butterflies catching other Butterflies and trying to get a complete set of them.

'This is fun!' exclaimed the AI.

'I know!'

Applejack blinked, having been going through Ponyville to give out her food. "Hey, this gal wasn't here before..." she muttered, finding a white NPC Earth Pony with a yellow, pink, and purple mane and tail, her Cutie Mark a magnifying glass looking at a puzzle piece who wasn't in town before. She clicked to talk to her.

"Hello! My name is Puzzlemint! Jolly good to meet you!" the NPC said, with a clear British accent. "Did you solve any of my puzzles?"

Applejack hit the 'Explain' option.

"You see, I've hidden puzzle pieces all over Pony Land! Though I haven't had time to hide all the ones I want to yet! If you can find and put together the puzzles they make, I'll have some lovely surprises for you! Make sure you've got friends from each of the races too! I hid some in places only certain ones can reach so everypony will need to work together!"

There wasn't a 'yes' option, just a 'show solved puzzles' option. "Girls, I think I found the collectibles for the game."

The group all looked at it, or if they were in Ponyville found Puzzlemint.

"How many are there?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"...200 puzzles, that means a lot more puzzle pieces, and from what she said that ain't even all of 'em that'll be in the final version," replied Applejack. "No surprise, given how much exploration there is..."

"...We need a Griffin," said Rainbow Dash, noting they had every race EXCEPT that one, since it hadn't been available when they joined.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (update already)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 56.0 Devcon101
Session 56.1 QuartzScale
Session 56.2 QuartzScale
Session 56.3 Kendell2
Session 56.4 Alex Warlorn
Session 56.5 Alex Warlorn
Session 56.6 Ardashir
Session 56.7 Alex Warlorn
Session 56.8 Kendell2
Session 56.9 Devcon101
Session 56.10 Mtangalion
Session 56.11 Kendell2
Session 56.12 General Lemarc

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Cover art by StarlightGGiantess5

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Session 57

Session 57.0 General Lemarc

Time: Didn't check it before Daleks surrounded us
Place: A space station that is apparently NOT abandoned

It had happened so many times before. Surrounded by Daleks, with nothing but his wits, tools, and TARDIS to get him out...oh, and a plucky companion. That too. The Doctor began formulating plans by the dozen, when his mind hit upon a memory that sent all the plans crashing to a halt.

"River?"

"Yes?"

"I...can't get us out of this one."

"Why not?"

"Because of something you told me, er, will tell me. This station, this Dalek encounter, you told me this was The Day The Doctor Did Nothing. No spoilers, as ever, but you said that it was a fixed point in time and emphasized just how important it was that I live up to the title."

"I wouldn't have happened to have given you any advice, would I?"

"Not in the least. You just giggled and charged head-on into the angry mob we were up against."

"I really dislike myself right now."

"Welcome to my world. Alright then! Hello everydalek! As you know, I'm the Doctor and this is of course River Song."

AFFIRMATIVE. WE. ALREADY. KNOW. INFORMATION. IS THEREFORE. IRRELEVANT.

"Fine fine. (Can a stallion not buy time anymore?)"

YOU. WILL. SUBMIT. OR. BE. EXTERMINATED!

"River? I'm about to break rule one?"

"Which rule one? We have Faust-knows how many."

"The only one that matters: I'm going to tell them the truth."

"...Congratulations Doctor. You've actually surprised me."

"I choose to take that as a compliment."

The Doctor took a few steps forward, as if preparing for a heroic, defiant speech.

"Alright, here's the truth. I'm on the run from a love-crazed pegasus mare who has been granted time-traveling powers by a Muffin Button and the powers of the mail. I'm hiding here in the hopes that your station's remote location will be hard for her to find, but since you're here, I'm hoping your defenses will at least slow her down. After this situation is resolved (somehow, he muttered), I'll leave and let you get back to your...Dalek-ing."

THE. DOCTOR. LIES!

"Yes yes, I know. Which is why I've lowered the TARDIS's telepathic shields enough so that you can confirm the veracity of my statement."

"The TARDIS has mental shielding?"

"I KNEW you didn't know everything about her! I mean, ahem, yes it does. Not too fancy, but usually prevents lethal attacks and casual mind-reads. Its all-or-nothing like that. Really hurts the Daleks, since they're so "evolved" they can no longer perceive sarcasm. So they did the smart thing and assumed I'm always lying unless they have leverage over me. But now..."

THE DOCTOR. IS NOT. LYING!

IMPOSSIBLE. THE DOCTOR. ALWAYS. HAS. A PLAN!

ALERT! ALERT! UNKNOWN GRAY-COLORED OBJECT. APPROACHING .THE OUTER DEFENSES!

The Daleks all turned to analyze this new threat, and the fact that the Doctor had apparently been telling the truth for once.

"I'm not even surprised that she can survive in the vacuum of space, but I am puzzled as to why she didn't just appear here."

"Ah, that would be the only good part about this predicament. As we made our way in, I noticed the Daleks had a temporal web up. Essentially it catches objects travelling through the time vortex, and it either shoves them out to its edge or pulls them in to the center. I figured I'd be the only target they'd actually want to keep, and that anything-or-pony else would get expelled."

"Doctor, I know what a temporal web is."

"Sorry, used to having companions who don't know these things."

"Are you not at all worried about Derpy facing, you know, the universe-conquering Daleks out there?"

"River, I'm worried about the Daleks out there"

The Dalek perimeter

SYSTEM. FAILURE. ABANDON. SHIP.

The fifth Dalek ship to attempt an interception exploded twice...somehow, as a grey blur flew right through it unharmed. Despite being in a vacuum, there was a distinct noise coming from it.

"Love is in bloom.

A muffin button of love, a ship that goes boom."

The Command Center

"Doctor, is it odd that I'm more puzzled by the odd structure of those lyrics than that she's projecting sound through space?"

"River, at this point, nothing is odd."

Their musing were interrupted by the Daleks, who had refocused their attention upon them.

THE. DOCTOR. WILL. EXPLAIN. THIS!

"I already told you-she's trying to get me, and I'm hiding here. Really, it should wear off any moment now, and the forces letting her go through the time vortex should rubber-band her back home. Then I leave and you get on with your Dalek-ing. Everyone wins."

ALERT! INNER. DEFENCES. PENETRATED! THE SANCTUM. WILL BE BREACHED. IN APPROXIMATELY. TWO. MINUTES!
THE DOCTOR. FEARS. THIS. BEING!

"Now hold on, I wouldn't say-"

THE DOCTOR. HIDES. FROM THIS BEING. SEEKS PROTECTION. THE DOCTOR RUNS. BUT FEARS NOTHING. YET HE FEARS THIS BEING. THIS BEING OF. CHAOS. THIS BEING. WHO CAN DESTROY. DALEKS!

ALERT! SANCTUM. HAS BEEN. BREACHED!

RETREAT! RETREAT!

And so it was that Derpy, flying at full speed and humming wedding marches, entered the control room to find the Doctor and River idly watching as several Daleks fled through every available entrance.

"Hello sweetie." she purred, eyes batting.

"Now that's just uncalled for.", grumbled River.

Derpy walked over to the Doctor, opened her mailbag, and gave him his postcard with her mouth.

"There you are. Now, I've got a few...propositions to discuss with-"

"Derpy, wait. You're a good friend, and a wonderful companion, but this can't go on. I can't afford the possibility of children given my track record of running from things, and besides, River and I are already an item. I do care about you, quite deeply in fact, but not in that way. I'm sorry."

"Oh. Ok." And with that, Derpy's eyes, voice, and posture all returned to normal, her strabismus even kicking back in.
River's face was torn between looking relieved and annoyed. Her voice, however, had no such ambiguity. "Really? That's all it took! We could have avoided all this if you just talked to her?!"

"Well, yes, but then we wouldn't have gone on this adventure. And without that Discord wouldn't have been mayor of Hoofington, those taffy-spiders would've conquered those bipedal elephants, Bon Bon's mother would have conquered Equestria with candy-flavored giant vegetables(still not sure how that works), and The Day The Doctor Did Nothing wouldn't have happened. Funny bit of wording, that. I didn't do anything, but Derpy did, and that combination scared off the Daleks. "

"At least I can take some small consolation in that my description of this event will annoy you. It did annoy you, right?"

"Oh incredibly."

"Wonderful. Now let's get back to Equestria before you wind up fleeing to another plane of existence rather than start another conversation."

"Mind if I tag along?" Asked Derpy.

River gave her a look. "Why? You didn't need our help getting here."

Derpy gave River a look right back. "I was delivering mail. And I did. So now I don't have mail to deliver." She said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

River, who didn't enjoy not understanding things at all, just gave up and sighed. "Of all the worlds in all the galaxies I've been to, none are stranger than Ponyville."

One Week Later, The Castle Of Friendship

"...and that is why I will require 24 hours notice from either Derpy or you whenever a Muffin Party is planned." The Doctor finished explaining his story to Twilight, and took a sip of his tea. Twilight, for her part, was taking it rather well, though part of the reason may have been the elimination of all the stops aside from the first and last-it would take too much time to explain, and he'd never answer all her questions in either of their immortal lifetimes.

"All right. I'll make sure to coordinate with Derpy so you can be informed whenever you return to town."

"Thank you Princess. Though I must ask, why aren't you more...well, curious as to the properties of the Muffin Button?"

"Its Discord. Anything other than the basics is simply impossible to pin down. While I do have the few books and studies written on the subject of chaos magic, beyond that I've filed the non-harmful things he does with the Pinkie Sense in the "avoid questioning to maintain your sanity" file. Besides" she said with a smile "its just muffins. What's the worst that could happen?"

Session 57.1 Mtangalion

Pinkie Pie opened her mouth…

"No," snapped Gilda. She pulled a fresh batch of clawsants out of the oven and inhaled deeply, pleased with her work. And the bits she was earning by working part time, of course.

Pinkie sucked in a deep breath, undeterred. "Hey Gilda! Do you want to play…"

Gilda put the cookie sheet down on the stove and removed her oven mitts. "No."

"... that rhyming game? Cause it's…"

"No."

"... really a lot of fun and I just know…"

"No!"

"... you'll be able to sing a beautiful heart song if we just work you up to it!"

Gilda looked despairingly at the sun outside Sugarcube Corner, which had risen only five minutes ago. "Ugh, Pinkie Pie! There's a reason why we griffons put no-singing sings all over Griffonstone. It's okay! I'm not musical. I don't even want to be musical!"

Pinkie Pie gave Gilda a surprise squeaky-hug, making her wings pop out, and booped the tip of her beak. "But Gabby sang a really cool heart song..."

"News flash, Gabby isn't normal! Can we please just focus on this morning's orders? We have a lot of stuff to bake."

Pinkie deflated a bit. "Oh. Well, okay, I guess…"

Three, mouthed Gilda silently. Two, one, …

Pinkie perked up. "Hey, Gilda, can we…"

"No!"

Pinkie tried the droopy ears and the big watery eyes. "Please, please, please, please?"

"No, no, no, no!"

Pinkie stared at her, not making a sound. Ten seconds… fifteen… twenty…

Gilda started to sweat. But that was just the hot oven, right?"

"Please?"

"Okay!" screeched Gilda, panting. "Fine!"

"Yipee!" squealed Pinkie, bouncing in place. "I promise, you won't regret it." She pulled out a mixing bowl full of batter with a wooden spoon in a pink whirlwind, already stirring away. "We can play while I work on this cake!"

Gilda sighed heavily. "Cake, huh? You're gonna make a cake?"

Pinkie grinned slyly. "That's not all! I'm gonna bake the cake I make."

"You'll never taste it," deadpanned Gilda. "After you bake the cake you make… I'll take it!"

And Pinkie gasped. "Are you going to make me take the cake I bake to the lake!?"

Gilda snickered despite herself, starting to get into it. "Yeah, I'll make you bake a cake and take it to the lake… with a rake!"

Pinkie seized Gilda with outstretched hooves. "Why would you make me bake a cake just to take it to the lake with a rake? Is it a fake?!"

Gilda rolled her eyes. "For goodness sake, the cake I'll make you bake so I can take it to the lake with a rake won't be a fake!"

"Um… ahem." Pinkie and Gilda turned to see Spike standing on the other side of the sales counter.

Pinkie Pie oohed. "Morning, my good drake! Did you come to hear about the cake that Gilda's gonna make me bake…"

Spike face-clawed. "Please don't say all that again."

"... so she can take it to the lake with a rake for goodness sake? Aw, why not?"

Spike groaned. "You know, I'm going to chalk this one up to ‘Because Pinkie Pie' and try to forget that any of this happened."

"You and me both, buddy," quipped Gilda. "Ow!"

Pinkie Pie had just rapped her on the head with an empty pie tin. "Combo breaker!"

The little dragon unrolled a scroll, shaking his head. "Twilight sent me to order more of those cupcakes, just in case. You know the ones."

Pinkie Pie's grin grew until it became somewhat disturbing. "Spike?"

"That tyke, Spike?" said Gilda casually, holding back a snicker.

Pinkie shrugged theatrically at her. "Twilight wants cupcakes, but how about a tyke like Spike?"

Gilda tapped her chin with a talon, pretending to think it over. "Maybe a tyke like Spike should ride a bike."

Spike backed away slowly. "Hah, hah. Yeah, real funny, guys…"

"But would a tyke like Spike ride a bike or a trike?"

"Neither, dweeb! Spike the tyke wouldn't like a bike or a trike, he'd take a hike."

Spike shuddered, then abandoned the checklist and ran for the door. "Make it stop! I can't take any more! Twilight!"

Gilda blinked slowly. "You realize, you've taught me a whole new way to annoy ponies."

Pinkie scratched her poofy mane with a hoof. "Ponies think that's annoying?! Nah, I'm sure they're just having more fun than they can stand!"

Session 57.2 Kendell2

"Not a word..." Gilda said, her cute little Griffin with the rest of the Mane Six at Rainbow's behest.

"I think you look cute!" said Pinkie Pie, the group connected to Gilda via chat.

Gilda grumbled. "Yeah, cute...Look, just because I WORK at the company doesn't mean I know where anything is. And even if I DID I couldn't tell you."

"No problem, G. We just need a Griffin to find some of those pieces," Rainbow replied.

Because you needed a party to find the puzzle pieces, the reward and collection aspects were shared among the party. After all, the last thing the game was trying to do was make players argue with each other, so making them have to bicker over who got the item they'd earned.

Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Pony Twilight (as Minty was an Earth Pony) headed out along the ground and into caves, Sunset, Rarity, Spike, and Human Twilight spread out to use scanning spells, Rainbow Dash took to the sky, Fluttershy started looking for small places to go into and Gilda got Puzzlemint's scent (which was used for some games in Griffin's starting location as well), all looking for the little collectibles scattered throughout the game world.

"Ah! Found one!" Rainbow Dash called, flying through an air current (which was how they made places only Pegasi could go to) and grabbing the floating, glowing puzzle piece.

Sunset continued to use scan spells...and picked up a little hole. "Fluttershy! I found a hole for Breezies!"

Fluttershy found her way to Sunset's location and flew her little Breezie avatar into it. "Oh! Found a piece!"

"So did we, darlings," Rarity replied, her scanning spell letting her find a hidden path that lead to another piece.

'Found one,' Gilda wrote in the chat, having followed Puzzlemint's scent to find one hidden in the forest.

Pony Twilight looked around a cave...only for her character's 'clumsy' personality trait to cause her to trip and fall harmlessly down to a lower level (fall damage did not exist, if the fall was too far butterflies would just rescue you and put you back where you started). "Oops!"

Pinkie Pie had her character look down after her. 'Minty, Minty, Minty...' she typed into the chat.

However, Twilight happened to fall right onto a puzzle piece hidden on a ledge. "Oh...Found one!"

Soon enough, they'd assembled enough pieces of one puzzle to put it together, which lead to a minigame of actually putting the puzzle together to reveal it was a festival of the Castle of Friendship in Ponyville.

"Jolly good job," said Puzzlemint. "Here's your prize!"

The prize, in this case, was a crown for each of them, and they also got to keep the puzzle picture and could use it as a painting in their house.

"That was kinda fun," Applejack admitted. "It's a bit more fun to make a scavenger hunt out of it."

'It was fun...I guess...' Gilda typed.

"Come on, we've still got a lot more to find!" Rainbow Dash commented, rather enjoying herself at this point.

Session 57.3 Devcon101

Suri stood in front of a small bakery on the streets of Manehattan, looking at the HELP WANTED sign posted in the front window. So far her search for work hadn't gone so well. The fashion community treated her now like a pariah after her theft of Rarity's line had been revealed, practically booting her out of the business. Other than sowing, Suri had few talents she could call "job worthy." One of those just happened to be baking, which she could attribute to her mother, one Sicklysweet Polomare, being an avid chef and often recruiting her daughter when she had been younger to assist her. Ever since, cooking had been a side hobby for the pink mare, and while she wasn't great, she felt she could hold a job at a small bakery.

Suri sighed and trotted inside, a small bell jingling as she opened the door. The booths that had been set along the walls laid mostly empty, save for a pegasus mare and an earth pony stallion who were enjoying the last of a small box of cupcakes. The floor was covered by a mint green carpet, and similarly collared banners were hung above the window as added decoration. Near the back of the store rested a series of rather large counters, each with a glass window putting on display series of varying delectable delights, from cookies, to tarts, to cakes, to pies, and more. On the walls to either side of the counters were built in freezers, containing treats best kept cold.

Standing behind said counters was an earth mare Suri knew very well. Her coat was a light green color, her mane a deep blue and in a style that resembled Suri's own if she let the back of her hair down. Around her neck a blue scarf was wrapped, upon it a pattern resembling the one on Suri's neckerchief, and atop her head was a classic puffy chef's hat. Sicklysweet Polomare hummed to herself, looking up to see who had just entered within her bakery with a small smile, only to blink a few times upon seeing who had entered. She then rubbed her eyes, blinking a couple of times, as if to check if what she was seeing was real. Her smile then proceeded to widen into a large toothy grin.

"BUTTONS!" the mare happily chirped, trotting through a small gate placed between the side of the last counter in the row and the wall and heading over to her.

"It's Sur-" Suri barely had time to reply as Sicklysweet wrapped her up in a big hug. A big crushing hug, which Sicklysweet did not seem to notice as she latched on to her daughter. Suri's eye twitched a little.

"Mother, you're crushing me." Sicklysweet blinked, near spontaneously releasing her grip on Suri, who took a breath. Her mother proceeded to give a weak, apologetic smile and a quick "sorry dearie." Suri frowned, before continuing.

"First, my name is Suri now, not Buttons, okay? I spent good bits getting it changed. Second, I came for the job offer." Sicklysweet raised a brow but nodded at the first, but at the second frowned a little, confused.

"But I thought you were in the fashion business now, with that old friend of yours?" Suri frowned, eyes narrowed.

"Let's not bring her up, mmkay? But things happened, and now I'm out of that line of work. You willing to hire me or not?" Sicklysweet thought it over for a moment.

"...Okay, you're in!" Suri nodded.

"So where do I start?" Sicklysweet smiled and began to trot over to the counters again, motioning for Suri to follow. Suri nodded, smiling as she gave a quick glance at her mother's wallet that she had pilfered.

"...You're lucky I'm your mother, dearie. Anypony else would've already booted you out for stealing their wallet" Sickly said, not even turning around. Suri blinked, opening her mouth a bit to speak.

"How did I know? Call it a pickpocket's mother's intuition. Now get over here and give that back. You have work to do dearie."

Session 57.4 Alex Warlorn and Mtangalion

Diamond Tiara said, "Pipsqueak, I just want to say... er, I'm sorry that during our campaigns for class president that I told everypony, 'HE'LL TURN YOU ALL INTO BRAINWASHED ZOMBIES!' Want to come and play video games?"

Pipsqueak nodded, "It's okay Diamond Tiara... you can make up for it by attending one of our Luna's Witnesses' meetings."

Diamond Tiara stumbled when she saw the crowd already seated in the pews... more batponies than any other tribe, with some Diamond Dogs for good measure. "Are... we in the right place?"

Pipsqueak grinned. "Right you are, this is the nine o'clock no-howling service! You wouldn't like the other one."

Diamond Tiara couldn't stop herself. "Since when the Tartarus, are there this many Diamond Dogs in Ponyville? Since when are there ANY Diamond Dogs in Ponyville? The average pony here didn't know what a zebra was! And what's with all the Diamond 'wolves?' They were a isolationist even more recently than the Yaks! And I checked the history books, the whole 'wolves' thing was propaganda by the northern Diamond Dog separatists to give themselves an excuse to declare independence from the wealth-obsessed, anti-emigration (that's leaving a land, not entering it), anti-intellectual policies at the time of the kingdom of Dimondia! Since racial unity was big in back in the day, they needed to separate themselves SOMEHOW from the REST of the Diamond Dogs!"

Diamond Tiara contiued, "And the reason northern diamond dogs BECAME masters of disguise because of their trek north."

"Um, was that a good idea, luv?" stammered Pipsqueak, when quite a lot of dogs turned to face them.

"This little pony has a big mouth," grumbled one of the Diamond Dogs.

Another pawed and sniffed Diamond's crown without asking permission. "Good taste, though. This is real silver and gems."

"We're here on a holy pilgrim thing," said a third, shoving a paper flier in Diamond's face.

~~~
! LUNA'S WITNESSES MISSION TOUR !

Visit Ponyville, the first town to celebrate Our Lady Luna's redemption, and home of the hero ponies who defeated the Nightmare!

See the Friendship Castle, home of Princess TWILIGHT Sparkle, ally of the MOON!

Tour the Castle of the Two Sisters and join in the Longest Night Memorial Howl!
~~~

The first Diamond Dog nodded to himself. "Those 'Wolves' left a long time ago, but they're still a bunch of stinky poo heads. Hmph! They act like walking on two paws is beneath them. I like to laugh at their stupid super-fluffy fur!"

One of the batponies trotted over. "Now, now, Fetch. You know that Diamond Wolves are equally welcome among us."

Session 57.5 Mtangalion

Prince Blueblood rounded a corner, claws snagging on the carpet, and loped down another stone tunnel. "This is absurd. I'm running from a pack of wolves. I'm a wolf! I should stand my ground!"

He skidded to a halt, panting roughly, and cringed at the sound of all those eager she-wolves getting closer and closer. "Blueblood, you fool. You know you're not a brave pony. Why did you think it would be any different now?"

Just when Blueblood was bracing himself to run again, a large stone carving of wolves being banished from someplace or other sank into the wall with a thunk, then slid aside. "In here," hissed a voice.

"Well," muttered Blueblood. "That's not ominous at all!" But he wasted no time squeezing himself through the secret door, which immediately slid closed behind him. Then there was a lot of fumbling and cursing in the dark, and a real fear of getting his oversized wolf body stuck in a tight passage who knew how far underground, before he slid down a ramp and tumbled into… a brightly lit shop? Full of glass display cases and sparkling gems?

A small female wolf was waiting to greet him, white-furred with gray sock paws and gray face and ear markings. She put a forepaw to her chest and bowed, wagging her tail cheerfully. "Welcome! Alisa hears you need collar." She padded over behind a counter and pulled out a rather large collar, then set about replacing some of its gems with other gems.

Blueblood watched her, frowning. "You didn't rescue me from those other she-wolves just to have me all to yourself, did you?"

Alisa tisked. "Prince Blueblood, he's so untrusting." She gave him a playful smirk over her shoulder. "We're both wolves here, aren't we?"

She'd actually pronounced his name correctly. That startled him a bit. "How do you know who I am?"

"Wolves hear things," said Alisa, with a wink and a flick of her ears. She padded over with the collar, looked from him to the collar several times, then loosened the leather band all the way before she looped it around his neck and buckled it on. Then she beckoned him towards a mirror, wagging her tail again. "Gems say you're ally of Icehome, don't have a mate but not searching right now. Looks good?"

Blueblood blinked at his reflection, standing up a little taller and turning from side to side. The collar *did* look good… regal, even. He even found himself wondering if jeweled collars and torcs could possibly make a comeback in pony society. "I… I don't know how to repay you, miss. Literally, I don't. I have quite a lot of bits, but I'd have to ask my advisors how to actually spend them here."

Something else occurred to him. "Why didn't Prince Erik just bring me here in the first place? Wait, wait just a moment. The storeroom keeper… she did want to send me here, but Erik wouldn't hear of it! What's going on between you two? Just what sort of a shop is this?" He glanced around, but couldn't see the name of the shop anywhere, although there was a less dusty space on the wall where a sign might have been. "What game are you playing?"

While he'd been admiring himself and spinning theories, Alisa had left, and now she was returning with a covered tray. "Long story. Now, eat. Blueblood's had a long day." She lifted the cover, revealing a plate full of spiced meat with a generous helping of mushrooms on the side.

Blueblood cringed. "Now see here, miss. I might look like a wolf just now, but there is no way…" Then his sniffing nose caught the scent of the meat, and his body had other ideas… and suddenly ‘wolfing down his food' wasn't just an expression any more. Just like that… he realized that he was already licking the plate clean. "What's the matter with me?! I ought to be sick, revolted! Why was that so…" He yawned hugely, stumbling a bit.

"Don't worry," said Alisa cheerfully. "Good food for guest. Alisa didn't drug it to make Blueblood fall madly in love with her."

"That's… disturbingly specific," Blueblood managed to say, through another heavy yawn. "I never slept after that game at the tavern, did I? Miss, is there… This is a pickle. I would ask for directions to a hotel, but again, the problem with spending my bits..."

Alisa chuckled. "Communal sleeping cave is always open. Even important wolves like it. Wolves feel strong, safe when pack is close. But Blueblood's just a regular wolf, so he knows all about that, right?"

"Just… show me where it is," grumbled Blueblood, barely awake enough to put one paw in front of another.

Prince Blueblood looked at Alisa's rack of ponysuits, appalled. "Why do I have to sneak home in one of these? Why are they all female?! There's no way I'll fit!"

Alisa shook her head. "Of course they're female. Alisa doesn't like disguising as stallion. Hurry now, it's your only chance!" She grabbed him and shoved into a cute mare costume until he was sure the suit would rip, but impossibly, awfully, he fit right in!

The next thing he knew, Blueblood was home at Canterlot Castle, but the zipper was stuck, and he couldn't get out of the suit! "What are you doing, slacking off?" the chief of staff shouted. "Put your maid uniform on and get to work!" Then he had to mop and dust the entire castle, and Upper Crust and Fancy Pants came by just to laugh, somehow knowing everything, but assigning him more and more cleaning duties instead of helping.

"No, I won't put up with this!" snarled Blueblood, finally having had enough. "I'm not a helpless mare, I'm..." Wait, why was there an enormous full moon right outside the window? When had it become night again? "No, the curse!" He thrashed and howled and tore his way out of the suit, snarling at fleeing nobleponies. "Come back! I'm not a monster. I… am… Blueblood!"

Everything shattered… leaving the prince standing in a peaceful moonlit grove and terribly confused.

Princess Luna stood facing him, her starry mane flowing in the early evening breeze, and oddly, a little shorter than he was. "There you are at last, nephew. You must be quite taken with that wolfpony form, if you're even wearing it in your dreams."

Blueblood looked himself up and down, and just as Luna said, he was the hulking white-furred blue-eyed wolf once again. He opened his maw, hesitated. "I'm sorry. Did you say… wolfpony? I'm fairly certain those are fictional."

Luna smiled. "They were, but now it seems they are not, thanks to Discord. ‘Thanks to Discord' … it still feels odd for us to say that."

Wolfponies, thought Blueblood. Right… one of the imaginary races from that awful trashy romance novel series… which Auntie Luna adored for some reason, even going so far as to be the patron and publisher. "Hah, yes, such imaginative stories. Real page-turners, every one of them, but I don't know if I'm so keen on playing a character from those books permanently."

Luna gave him an amused look. "If you had actually read those books, nephew, you would know that wolfponies can freely transform from pony to wolf and back again. They are only forced to become wolves in bright moonlight."

Blueblood's ears drooped. "What? You mean, at ANY time, I could have turned back into…" He shut his eyes tightly. "I need to be a pony again. I need…"

The dream dissolved, and Prince Blueblood woke in darkness, gasping. "Pony…" He felt himself, grinning. The collar was still on him, but loose enough to fall right off, almost. "Pony! I have hooves! Ouch! I have a horn!" He focused on his magic, conjuring a soft light, and froze.

He was in a cavern, surrounded by wolves. Dozens… hundreds maybe, snuggled into a big floofy pile. Some of those sleeping wolves were squirming, annoyed by his light and perilously close to waking. And Alisa… she was leaning against him, about the same size with her being as small as she was, and him being a stallion. She opened one eye and winked, then yawned, resting her head on her forepaws again.

"Wolf," thought Blueblood urgently. "I need to be a wolf again, before I'm a wolf snack! Come on, come on!" He felt a bizarre *stretching* and a surge of strength… the horn light vanished, but he could feel that he'd done it. He'd actually done it, changed between pony and wolf at will! To Tartarus with pony maid costumes… he could march into the Crystal Empire as a *stallion*, make a bank withdrawal for ticket money, and be on the next train home!

Then Blueblood remembered that he was still in a cavern packed with sleeping wolves, and stifled his triumphant shout, chuckling nervously instead. "I'll just… make my way home in the morning…"

Session 57.6 Alex Warlorn

Ace Space Hero Rainbow Dash looked back at his squad mates and allies. "Okay, before we go on this critical mission, who among you would you say has been the most helpful, and beyond reproach?"

The mix of equines and aliens all pointed at one particular crewmate, one who had saved Rainbow Dash's life early on in their adventure.

Without saying a word, Rainbow Dash drew her side arm, and vaporized them where they stood. Their last words were, "NO! MY EVIL PLAAAAAANS!-"

-

Behind the game master screen, Applejack slammed her hooves on the crystal table. "RAINBOW DASH!"

"Hey, stop borrowing your plots from modern Whinny Land movies."

Session 57.7 Devcon101

Suri and Sicklysweet trotted back into the bakery, finished with a (mandatory for employees, as Sickly had put it) game of Kitchen Calamity, a favorite of Sickly's. Sickly trotted over to the counter and got out some utensils, humming to herself.

"Grab me the blue cookbook on the second shelf please, dearie~"

Suri nodded as she trotted over to a bookshelf, upon which rested a series of various books of different colors. Her eyes grazed over the second shelf's contents, until they rested upon a rather thick, blue colored cookbook titled "Chocolate Chipper's Compendium of Countless Chocolatey Confectioneries". However, as she did, she took notice of a book that she didn't believe anypony would normally have on a shelf of cookbooks. Setting down the blue cookbook, she grabbed the brown book and removed it from the shelf, giving it a look over. The cover depicted a pair of two golden hearts above a golden cauldron, the tile "The Complete History of Hearts and Hooves Day" printed in gold coloring along the spine. Looking again, she noticed a series of other books along the shelves, ones that, to her at least, didn't appear like they belonged alongside the various cookbooks.

"Mother? You really need to stop accidentally placing history books with the cookbooks, mmkay?" Sicklysweet turned around, brow raised.

"What're you…? Oh! Those. Those belong there dearie." It was Suri's turn to raise her brow.

"Why?" Sicklysweet smiled, trotting over.

"These have a few recipes for some more "unique" ingredients. This one has the formula for a love poison for example." Suri blinked.

"Don't you mean "love potion"?"

"Not at all, dearie." Suri frowned.

"Who on Equus would let that through editing?" Sickly shrugged.

"Who knows? I certainly don't."

Suri thought on it for a moment, but shrugged it off, her eyes giving one last glance over the shelves, soon landing on a few books near the end of the bottom shelf, including "Equestria's Most Wanted" and "Assassins of the World", which, judging by the heavy amounts of dust on them, hadn't been touched for a while.

"What did you want out of these?" Sicklysweet gave a nervous smile.

"Those? Oh, nothing. Those are ones I actually did misplace dearie" she said quickly, taking the books off the shelf and holding them close.

"I'll go put these back where they belong. Take the cookbook and start baking the tarts for me." She quickly trotted out of the kitchen, muttering something about her thinking she had gotten rid of them. Suri raised a brow, grabbing the actual cookbook and heading over to the kitchen counter, wondering just what her mother had taken out of those books, knowing full well her claims of having "misplaced them" were lies.

Session 57.8 BrutalityInc

Manoeuvring thrusters fired, and with a startling speed and grace – for a given value of either – the small frigate dodged and weaved its way through the field of ice and rock floating in the void. Not a single fragment even lightly touching the sleek metal alloy surface of its main cylindrical hull, even as it continued its daredevil trail through this proverbial natural minefield, guided by the almost uncanny skills of the pilot; at such speeds, any impact with a fragment of considerable size could have catastrophic consequences.

Near the end of the dance, the spacecraft tilted ‘upwards' – up and down having no real meaning in the zero-gravity void – just as it approaches a particularly large ball of rock and ice floating among the debris. This time, the main engines fired, and a prolonged impulse blasted from its two pairs of primary thrusters, mounted on delta-shaped ‘wings' on the horizontal plane of the cylindrical hull at the rear, accelerated the spacecraft upwards in time to avoid the incoming bolide, instead merely skimming dangerously close to the surface. Within moments, it climbed over not only the rock, but right above the field – and allowing those inside to behold a spectacular view.

The field of ice and rock it was in belonged to a planetary ring system, stretching out before them as far as the eyes could follow from where they were, all the way behind the planet that it was orbiting, shining brightly even with the planet's distance from the faint, tiny sun, wider and larger than several planet Equuses combined. The planet itself, a gas giant, is a radiant goliath of colourful clouds, circling around sphere from the poles to the equator either as relatively calm patterned bands, interrupted by blotches swirling in intense, violent maelstroms; the frigate was around the side of the planet where it has an eagles-eye view of the two largest, dwarfing all others by magnitudes, seemingly circling in close proximity with each other, seemingly locked in a battle of dominance.

Rainbow Dash, the pilot of the small frigate, leaned back on her seat to relax and enjoy the magnificent sight, just as her friends caught up with her in their own crafts.

"So let me get this straight, Twilight…" Rainbow Dash patched in through the comms to ask, just as they came up beside her craft, "We're free to do whatever we want in this game?"

A screen popped up on her display screen, revealing Twilight Sparkle, dressed in a formal uniform that wouldn't be too out of place from those worn by a futuristic scientist, in contrast to the cyberpunk fighter jockey attire that Rainbow was wearing. Fittingly, she is in command of a starship that did resemble more a science/supply vessel than a bonafide warship that Rainbow is commanding: it has a single primary hull, saucer shaped, with various sensor arrays and antennaes around a dome at the center which Rainbow guessed is the bridge command. On the underside, two cylindrical outboard engines, glowing on their hemispherical ends with power, drove the vessel forward even as Twilight spoke.

"In essence, yes." Twilight confirmed, "Enchanted Entertainment told us that this game, Galaxia, has no mandatory objective or goal that the players must accomplish. There are many factions and characters in the game who might give you quests and missions to do, but you're free to take them or decline to pursue whatever fancy you feel like it. And we can do it as long as we like it, too."

Indeed, it was mind-boggling to think about the sheer freedom they had been allowed to do; everything they saw and experience in this enchanted space sandbox game is procedurally generated, from the stars, planets and asteroids, all the way to the space stations, space colonies and spaceships, and the various characters and races that own them.

Enchanted Entertainment has boasted that everywhere they go, they will find new places, new people and new adventures, in a practically infinite universe for players to explore and interact, and from what they've seen so far, as play-testers, it seems the space opera magical adventure game will live up to their promise.

"But what about that note at the beginning, saying that we have to get to the galactic core?" Rainbow Dash asked, "What's there for us to find?"

"It ties to the backstory of the setting: ages ago, the ancients built a civilization that spanned the galaxy, uniting the stars in peace and prosperity that lasted an aeon." Twilight explained. Incidentally, they are called Galaxians, from which came the namesake of the game, "But something terrible happened, and their civilization collapsed. In their wake, other races arose and found their own places among the stars, waring and trading and building upon the ruins and relics they left behind. As we go along the game, we will find some of these relics, along with hints as to what caused their fall and disappearance. The developers told me that their ‘greatest gift' to the future can be found at the galactic core, one which would determine who would inherit their legacy, and either bring peace to the galaxy… or destroy it."

"Wow, must be something VERY big and powerful, from the way they describe it." Rainbow Dash noted. "Well, then, I suppose that's where we're headed?"

Another screen popped up, showing Rarity Belle, dressed in a fabulous captain's uniform, "Maybe, darlings, but I would advise against it. We're currently in the galactic rim, and they said that it becomes more dangerous as we go core-ward. I feel we are not ready yet, with our current levels of technology and spaceships. We can do a lot of other things first while we prepare ourselves."

Just then, Rarity's spaceship arrived. It was an elegant and graceful vessel, befitting the stylish unicorn seamstress: it was a large battlecruiser, but it resembles more like a flying wing with sleek, curvy organic design, with a shiny exterior, with a smooth chrome-plated surface interrupted only by its rudimentary weapon emplacements. Even the bullet-shaped engine pods, in pairs like Rainbow Dash's frigate, looked gorgeous. By its side was Applejack's cruiser, and it stood in sharp contrast to Rarity's own work: constructed with emphasis of function over form, aesthetically it was an ugly, blocky thing, with a wedge-shaped front module and an aft-section seemingly made of dozens of cylindrical engine pods stacked together and covered in armour. The rectangular mid-section connects the front and aft section, which also mounted two long cylindrical pods on the side as well as a large array of weaponry.

"I like how you can mine the environment and harvest the resources in ‘em space rocks and planets." Applejack noted, popping up in another screen. "We can trade these resources at the nearest space-stations and use the credits to upgrade our ships, until we can have enough firepower and armour to deal with any hostile varmint that the galaxy could throw at us going core-ward."

Indeed, the Mane Six designed and built their own vessels in the starting sector, when they were all dumped into the game piloting little more than a construction pod. A few hours of harvesting and building later, and they had designed new starships befitting their own taste.

"True, but why stop THERE?" Rarity noted. "In-game, we can build more than one ship, and hire crew for them. A fleet or several would do nicely for our space-odyssey purposes – and maybe a few planetary bases along the way! I sometimes wanted to build a palace fitting for a space princess on an exotic planet!"

"And I want to build a space station where everyone in a hundred light years could meet!" Pinkie chimed in. Her corvette was… weird, for lack of a better term. It looked like a giant teapot, minus the neck and with the handle turned horizontally. "Just think about all the ponies and space aliens who can party together in one place! Maybe we can host space-races around the planet it orbits, too!"

"We can do that as we travel the galaxy, meeting with the many factions that populate it - from the smallest planet-bound primitive tribes to shining star kingdoms and mighty galactic empires, both alien and non-alien." Twilight noted, her interest piqued at what randomly generated alien cultures she would meet, "We can learn so much about them – maybe help them out and do quests for them. Earning some goodwill would help us handsomely on our objectives."

"That is a wonderful idea!" Fluttershy concurred, piloting a strange-looking vessel with no armaments, but painted with a big red cross – to signify the fact that this is a hospital and repair ship, "And I can't imagine all the alien creatures that we'll meet along the way!"

Rainbow Dash groaned, "But doing all that is boring! Hay, it's tedious! Where's the action? I want to go flying around blasting the bad guys!"

Suddenly, a drifting debris next to them exploded, sending shards of rock and ice hammering onto their spacecraft. As alarms on their consoles flashed and blared, they turned to see what – or rather who – caused this commotion.

A squadron of ramshackle, predatory-looking spacecraft are baring down upon them, already firing their weapons. On the side, they could see an all too familiar symbol – an alien-looking skull with what looked like two blaster rifles on cross-guard.

"Well, RD, you want to blast a baddie? Here you go: space pirates!" AJ offered.

"Now that's what I'm talking about!" RD exclaimed, excited, even as she activated her frigate's weapons. "Let's start this off with a bang!"

The group sprang into action; RD's frigate and Pinkie's corvette surged forward at rapid speed, flanking the pirates even as they peppered the void raiders with their pulse lasers and chain guns. Applejack and Rarity trailed behind them, giving them supporting fire from their cruiser and battlecruisers in the form of missile salvos and beam cannon fire. Twilight and Fluttershy stayed back, supporting their friends with ECMs and shields from the former's science vessel and repairs and healing from Fluttershy's ship. Between the six of them, the space pirates were soon sent reeling, with the group in hot pursuit.

All in all, not a bad beginning for this Enchanted magical adventure game.

(A homage to the upcoming space sandbox game Avorion, as well as other space opera themed RPGs and sandbox games like Space Engineer, Hellion, No Man's Sky, Star Citizen, Darkstar One, Elite: Dangerous, EVE: Online, among others. Feel free to continue from where I left off)

Session 57.9 Devcon101

The Brayden Brayden casino in Germaneigh was bustling as usual. Living earth ponies, pegasi and unicorns, along with zombies, skeletons, mummies, ghosts and a variety of other undead, sat at the various tables and stood at the numerous slot machines. A nice background melody played, overlaid with the clacking of rolling dice, the jingle of a slot machine jackpot, the rolling of balls in roulette wheels, and the ever present victorious cheers and angered groans of the gamblers.

At one of the larger tables near the back of the casino, surrounded by a red velvet rope, was a private table, currently rented out by two of Lich-tenstein's nobles: Lady Abra-Ca-Dabra and Lady Sunshimmer. The two had just arrived to the table, and took their seats.

Lady Abra-Ca-Dabra was an earth pony mare with a purple coat and a wavy yellow mane. She wore a long black cape held by a clasp that looked like a candy corn. Atop her head she wore a classic witch hat with an orange ribbon. She carried with her a small bowl designed to look like a jack-o-lantern filled with candy corn, via, oddly enough, magic. How an earth mare used magic was a secret Abra-Ca-Dabra wasn't willing to share, but many believed she used some sort of magical object, most likely an amulet, that she kept hidden on her person. She levitated a few candy corns into her mouth, which she ate with glee.

Lady Sun Shimmer meanwhile was also an earth mare, though not a living one. Her body was mummified in strips of linen, all except for her head, which lay mostly uncovered, excluding a few strips. Thanks to illusionary magic she had had cast upon herself, her head looked just as it did in life, with a yellow coat and red hair reminiscent of that of one Sunset Shimmer, but between minuscule gaps in the wrapping one could see the dead flesh that betrayed her undead nature. She wore red robes, held with a clasp resembling a sun, and upon her back were a pair of saddle bags, each emblazoned with the symbol of a sun that resembled the clasp on her robes. As she sat herself down, she opened the saddlebag and retrieved a muffin. She took a bite out of it, chewing it, only to blink, opening her mouth as an amount of sand just about equivalent to the size of the bite she tried to eat poured out. She sighed in disappointment, putting the muffin back in her bag before looking at Abra with a hint of envy as the mare happily devoured her candy corn.

After a moment of silence as the two waited for the dealer, Sun took a glance behind Abra and then around them, as if looking for someone.

"Abra, where is that companion of yours?" she asked in a dry, raspy voice, raising a brow. Abra popped one last candy corn into her mouth, devouring it with a grin, before answering.

"The mysterious and magnificent Abra-Ca-Dabra is not fully sure. All Pumpkin Tart said was something about doing some "satellite parenting" for our great matriarch." Sun blinked.

"Duchess Tart...spoke?"

"Yes, she does from time to time." She hovered over a small hoof-full of candy corn and ate them all in one bite, ignorant of the angered and envious glare given by Sun.

Moments after a zombie in a suit strolled over to the table, a deck of cards on hoof. He entered the roped off area and took a seat at the table, silently taking out the cards and beginning to shuffle them.

"Finally! ‘Bout time you got here." Abra and Sun leaned forward, eager to start as the zombie readied to begin passing out cards…

"Evening ladies. Might I join?" Abra and Sun turned to the border of the roped off table, where a skull floated in midair. A dragon skull, with glowing green orbs in its empty sockets. Abra and Sun narrowed their eyes.

"You." Abra's tone was one of displeasure, leaning back and crossing her front hooves. The skull sighed in irritation.

"Is this about the game last month? I thought I told you, I won fair and square!" Abra raised a brow.

"That many times in a row? Abra's no fool, you clearly had some trick up your sleeve."

The skull just stared at her, silent, before slowly looking to either side of itself, before looking back at Abra.

"…Low blow."

Session 57.10 Mtangalion

"So there you have it," said Prince Blueblood, once again clean and impeccably dressed. On the other side of the chessboard, Trixie Lulamoon was still hanging on his every word. "Of course, the bank manager required me to give my pass code, and submit to truth spells and an identity scan. I could hardly fault the poor fellow for that… I did institute those security policies myself after all… but calling Prince Armor down from the palace to personally vouch for me seemed excessive, to say nothing of sending me home in the royal carriage, with a borrowed coat and a large Guard escort. Still, here I am."

Trixie opened her mouth hesitantly. "And… were the Princesses able to cure you? Of being a wolfpony, I mean…"

Blueblood grinned slyly. "My dear Miss Lulamoon, whyever would I want to be ‘cured?'"

Trixie stared, then gasped, drawing back.

"Yes, that's right. If it pleased me, I could become that great ravening beast again right here… and now!" Blueblood lit his horn and casually moved his bishop to capture Trixie's pawn. "Incidentally, check and mate. Good game, as they say."

Trixie twitched, then started to giggle. When Blueblood raised an eyebrow, she only laughed harder, until she had to pound the table and brush tears from her eyes. "Blueblood, you magnificent fiend! Trixie had no idea you were so adept at weaving a tale. Have you considered reading for the foals on Nightmare Night?"

Blueblood flinched. "Well, no… not as such." His hoof strayed towards his collar button. "So, you don't wish me to prove that my story was true?"

Trixie rolled her eyes. "Oh, don't bother with that. Whatever petty illusion of you becoming a wolf you've cooked up, Trixie would see through it in an instant! The Great and Powerful Trixie would not dream of asking of a fellow performer to spoil his own performance." She hoofed him in the shoulder playfully. "Mind you, you're no A. K. Yearling. Trixie will prove it the next time we play chess, when she shall tell the spooky story and you attempt to concentrate on the game!"

Blueblood said his cheerful and polite goodbyes by rote as Trixie thanked him and left the royal tower, but he was already lost in thought. "Unexpected," he mused. "Though, perhaps it's better this way." He glanced up, noticing a servant waiting nearby. "Yes?"

The uniformed unicorn bowed respectfully. "Pardon me, your highness, but a postcard arrived from a Miss Rarity Belle." He hesitated. "It said only ‘I know.' and ‘Let's talk.'"

The Prince groaned, remembering the torn vest he'd left in Ponyville. "She knows? Of course she knows…" He glanced at the waiting servant. "Leave me. I'll compose a reply later."

He waited until he was alone before he started pacing the floor. "Blast that mare. As if being covered in cake and chased with a butterfly net weren't enough, now I'm to have her fanfillying over me?" He stalked out the door of his apartment and shouted, "That mare will yet be my doom!" into the castle halls.

None other than Princess Luna herself stuck her head out of another door just down the hall. "Having second thoughts already, nephew?" He'd seen his aunt in many a sad or lonely mood since she'd returned. Playfully smug was a new and ominous look for her. "We were hoping to have you model for the cover of Midnight Heart's next book."

Blueblood grinned defiantly. "I won't give up that easily, Aunt Luna. I'm the first Prince of Canterlot with any real power in three hundred years."

"Power that you must needs keep secret," Luna reminded him.

Blueblood turned his nose up. "I don't care! It's mine, and I intend to enjoy it to the fullest!" He shut the door to his apartment with authority, and somehow his hoof wrenched the knob right off the door.

Both of them did a mild double-take at that. "Abnormally strong, even in pony form," murmured Luna.

Blueblood was already nodding. "Got it. Anything else I should know about wolfponies?"

Princess Luna smirked and teleported in a whole stack of hardbound Dusklight books, piling them at his hooves.

Blueblood's jaw dropped. "Oh, for… How many of these blasted novels are there? Can't I get an executive summary? Some Cliff Hanger's Notes, perhaps?"

Luna's smirk only grew. "This is only the first four trilogies, nephew."

Blueblood smiled back at her through clenched teeth. "Wonderful. I'll clear my calendar."

Session 57.11 Alex Warlorn

"AHHHHH!"

"Trixie, what's what?!" Princess Twilight came running.

"It's as if my previous incarnation and myself were alive at the same time, causing a distortion in time and space!"

"... You've been trying Applejack's hard cider again haven't you?" Twilight groaned.

"Have not!" Trixie said like an indignant foal.

"Well, excuse me. I have to organize these books on undead pony history that spontaneously appeared in my library... that have apparently have been in the library longer than the library's existed, but that's fine."

-

The thestral Windy Whisper meanwhile, felt like she was having a nervous break down. She nearly broke down crying.

"But I was writing FICTION! FICTION! This makes no sense!" She wondered if the stress of Rarity's antics of trying to find imaginary creatures, combined with the unearthing of apparently a world wide eons old conspiracy within a world wide eons old conspiracy, had having a bad affect on her sense of reality. Maybe she was just hallucinating the wolfponies and the undead country that had just popped into existence that everypony was treating as normal?

"I liked to write wolf ponies and vamponies and undead because they didn't exist. They let me make up whatever I liked that I felt fit the story as long as it didn't undermine what I wrote before. This... this, THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!" Windy Whisper wailed, chugging apple juice like it was going to be illegal soon.

"Maybe... maybe I need to retire from writing all together? I... I don't know if I can take this."

-

The undead Nightmares (the name was a 'joke' by Nightmare Moon/Princess Luna when the curse was placed on them) with their mindless skeletal puppets the Bone Fiends, of Sunny Town, were extremely confused. Their town had existed in isolation within Everfree Forest for a thousand years (it was always a thousand years). Where Everfree itself seemed to steer ponies away from their town.

So why the Tartarus were they suddenly getting letters from a country they'd never heard of?

-

"Remember when we just sat around the table between weekly friendship problems/saving the world, and just had wacky fun playing games." Pinkie Pie said as she and Rainbow Dash were playing a game of Castles and Crossbows. Their two little plastic armies trying to destroy their custom built little plastic building block fortresses.

Rainbow Dash had built a massive and heavily reinforced fortress, which made it one big target. Pinkie Pie had built hers in a spread out manner, making taking down her entire 'fortress' much harder, as the game considered it to be one fort according to the rules.

On the other side, the Wonderbolts had done wonders on Rainbow Dash, so her armies were more organized than Pinkie Pie's, that were all over the place, but it played to Rainbow Dash's advantage on the space between their fortresses... sort of. Since launching their little plastic balls meant also keeping their own armies out of the cross fire while hitting the enemy's armies to boot.

"It has begun to feel a little empty around here somehow." Rainbow Dash admitted.

"I know. You'd go charging in! Applejack wouldn't lie to even the evil monsters, which Spike would always exploit. Twilight would come up with all these super detailed perfect plans for every encounter. I'd do Pinkie Pie stuff. Rarity would role play her character to the hilt. And Fluttershy would try to end even the battles with the mindless brain eating zombies peacefully!"

"It does feel like everybody just gotten distracted with new things lately. But hey, things always work out with us, I'ms sure they'll be back here soon!"

Session 57.12 Kendell2

Rainbow Dash and Applejack hit away at their controllers, playing a comic book fighting game.

"Did yah ever notice how fighting game special moves are kinda nuts?" asked Applejack, playing as Mistress Marevelous and using her lasso to grab Rainbow Dash's Fillysecond and throw her through a wall...where she hit a full speed carriage, launching her across the place into a bridge at which point she fell into a different area of the arena as they continued the fight.

"You mean like this?" Rainbow Dash said, catching AJ offguard with her ultimate after a few more attacks.

"Dang it!"

Fillysecond flew past Marevelous, sending her spinning before grabbing her and running off so fast she time traveled. The two came out of warp, Fillysecond slamming her into the nose of the Spinx, still under construction in Egybit. She grabbed her, drug her back the otherway, and further back in time, where she slammed her into a prehistoric dragon's face. She then took her opponent back to the present and slammed her into herself when she was still spinning from the start of the move face first, at which point past Fillysecond grabbed past Marevelous to start the move in the first place.

"But yeah, you're right, I did just KO you with a time paradox. Remember our finishing moves in that fighting game?"

Applejack nodded, looking over to the Crusaders, who were playing said game. Right as Apple Bloom pulled off hers, which involved enough rope tricks to fill out an entire rodeo.

Session 57.13 Kendell2

"Well, I hope Sunburst enjoyed his little break," said Shining Armor, giving his daughter a nuzzle, Twilight having come over to play a game of O&O with Shining and his friends, something Flurry seemed to enjoy.

"Why DID you need to give somepony to watch Flurry Heart?" Spike asked. "I thought she liked Sunburst."

"She does...but, well...They were playing Alien Alicorns vs Space Pirates..." Shining started.

Spike shot Twilight a look.

"Okay, I guess the foals might have enjoyed that book..." Twilight admitted.

"And Flurry seemed to have gotten a little too into it the game..." Shining Armor admitted.

Shining Armor opened the door to Flurry Heart's room...and blinked, finding it the expanse of space.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Sunburst, now a star dust covered Alicorn flying from an army of space pirates...which were clearly Flurry's toys turned into them.

Flurry giggled, sword fighting with several pirates.

"I thought she had a limiter on her!" Twilight asked in disbelief.

"She does...most of the time..." Shining Armor said, blushing a little. "Remember how Chrysalis organized an attack by the Winter Court? We kinda took it off to protect the Empire...We may have forgotten to put it back on..."

A group of Winter Court changeling raced into Flurry's room, all with sadistic smirks.

A few moments later, they all ran out, screaming like little girls, the lead one now a chibi version of himself while half the others where shrunken down to toy size. The last one to exist found his tail grabbed in a telekinetic aura and screamed as he was dragged back into the room.

Flurry Heart gave a happy laugh, horn igniting and suddenly the group found the room the expanse of space, all star dust covered Alicorns, and surrounded by space pirates.

"...And we still forgot..." said Shining Armor, eyes wide.

"...Well, might as well have some fun while we're here," said Twilight, giving her niece a nuzzle and letting her ride her into battle.

Session 57.14 Grogar-the-oneser

"Are you sure you don't want to use a altered mind spell." Trixie said, they were playing go fish.

"For the last time yes! If Bulk promised he and the other at the spa can keep a secret then I can trust them to keep a secret." Starlight said annoyed.

"Well SORRY for bringing it up." Trixie said annoyed. "I just find it very risky, especially since theirs a possibility of one of those spa ponies turned out to be a blabbermouth."

"Trixie as someone who admittedly use brainwashing like techniques, I can tell you with a straight face that they don't work as effectively as you think." Starlight said.

"And yet, you still created that red cloud of anger." Trixie teased

"First of all, that was accidental. I tried bottling my anger inside but then the anger leaked out via magic and I had to put it in actual bottles. Secondly it might have not have escalated so quickly, if someone notice sooner."

"How was I to know when to look up when an ominous cloud forming! They didn't even leave a shadow when it was formed!" Trixie stated

"Hmm, good point.. got any three's?"

"Uh..." Trixie said noticing her hand was mostly threes. "...no." they then heard a blasting noise "What was that?" Both got up and open the door to see Twilight, Spike, Shining Armor and Cadence as video game characters with flurry laughing a bit as she rode Twilight. Both slam the door hard, trying to process what they just saw.

"I can't believe we lost cause of singing!" Rainbow Dash said

"I can't believe it didn't happen sooner." Gilda said after listening to Rainbow story "Seriously, you ponies sing so much I'm surprise you can find time to feed yourselves."

"Worst of all, this proves we didn't even break the friendship record set by griffins, they hated working together!" Rainbow dash said, she then remember her company "Er I mean-"

"Relax Dash, I know what you meant. My species isn't exactly known for team building." Gilda said, wincing at the memory of trust fall she try to initiate with the people in griffon stone, suffice to say it wasn't pretty. "But I did find my species love winning so its not to surprising that whoever was put in there won the thing."

"Do you think it was that sports team?" Rainbow Dash asked "You know from the equestria games?"

"Hmm, maybe but what are the odds." Gilda said, unaware that said mention team were heading back to manehatten to break there record.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (update already)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 57.0 General Lemarc
Session 57.1 Mtangalion
Session 57.2 Kendell2
Session 57.3 Devcon101
Session 57.4 Alex Warlorn and Mtangalion
Session 57.5 Mtangalion
Session 57.6 Alex Warlorn
Session 57.7 Devcon101
Session 57.8 BrutalityInc
Session 57.9 Devcon101
Session 57.10 Mtangalion
Session 57.11 Alex Warlorn
Session 57.12 Kendell2
Session 57.13 Kendell2
Session 57.14 Grogar-the-oneser

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Cover art by NPCtendo http://alexwarlorn.deviantart.com/art/ManeSix-594839143

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Session 58

Session 58

Session 58.0 Alex Warlorn

"Trixie casts Chain Thunderbolt, which I'd say wipes out those dastardly orcs, so-"

The Tea-Cup Poodle scurried into the room, and leapt on top of the table. Then it 'spoke' (Twilight blamed Discord). "God, command me."

Trixie stared at the poodle tea cup, then grinned. "Trixie never knew she'd wanted something so badly until she had it until this moment."

Twilight Sparkle's eyes were wide, the game forgotten, then narrowed. "She is not calling you that."

Princess Luna, who had taken the time to play again with one of her 'veteran' characters said, "Why not? It works for us."

Thestral Guards who had accompanied her said, "God, command us."

"See?"

"God command us," said the chicks who used to be a book Twilight zapped into a basket of eggs.

Twilight Sparkle's eye twitched. "AGH!"

"Trixie, has created a new species. She'd like her wings and crown now, please."

Meanwhile in the human world...

The Ginger Bread Men looked up from the tray, "God, command us."

Sunset Shimmer had a arm between her uh, 'creations', and a hungry human world Pinkie Pie. "This is very awkward."

-

"I WILL CREATE THE LAND OF THE TEA-CUP PEOPLE AND THEY WORSHIP AND LOVE ME!"

Celestia (who was sitting in on one of Luna's RP sessions for once and was completely lost) smiled. "I can safely say that plan has worked out good for me with ponies so far."

"Trixie are you going mad with power, again?" Twilight asked.

"Uh, no?"

-

"Oh doctor, ever since I finally learned how to do real magic, I've wanted to go back to all those who told me I was magically retarded and therefore wasn't worthy bullying-" Trixie wrung her hooves maniacally, her iris' different sizes, "-aNd tURn thEm aLl inTO TeacUPS!" Her voice took on a demonic tone.

"Ya, let'z get back to the couch now, ya?"

Session 58.1 Ardashir (Continued from Session 57.12 )

"I should be the strongest fighter in your video game! And I should beat EVERYPONY! All the time!" Chrysalis snarled at the two game developers. The ponies gulped as the sight of her snaggle fangs and winced from the horrid stench surrounding her and her Changelings.

"I'm beginning to wish we got the job of going to Tartarus to interview Tirek instead," one grumbled to his partner. Bits of slime dripped from the ceiling of the cave, Chrysalis' new temporary royal lair. "At least he's in a cage."

And Down Below:

"I should be the strongest fighter! And I should beat EVERYPONY! All the time!" Tirek rattled the blessed iron bars of his cage, snarling in pain as his flesh smoked at the touch.

The two developers gagged on the reek of burned demon centaur. The hellish shrieks and wails in the distance didn't help, forcing them to get closer to both the cage and the source of that odor to speak with the imprisoned villain.

"Oh, why couldn't we have gotten Chrysalis? She could at least turn into something pleasant to look at, and no one has to smell roast demon!"

Session 58.2 Devcon101

The light of Luna’s moon shone down upon the Crystal Empire, who’s streets laid bare, everpony fast asleep. However, not everything was asleep. For at that very moment, a small group of teenage dragons stealthily (as stealthily as a bunch of dragons could be, that is) moved along the streets toward the giant crystal castle that towered above the rest of the empire. Leading this group was none other than Garble, who while having lost a good couple of his normal cronies after the “hugging incident” had bribed some other dragons with some stuff from his hoard into following his lead.

“So what are we doing again?”, the pink-haired white dragon, one of the few cronies Garble had left, asked. Garble sighed in irritation.

“The same thing we do every night, “Pinkie”. Try to take over the world!” The white dragon blinked.

“Uh...say that again?” Garble growled in frustration.

“I literally just said it! We’re gonna go kidnap that baby winged unicorn these looser ponies keep fawning over and hold her for ransom!” The dragon nodded, but as Garble left for the next alley, he took a minute to put a finger in his ear and twist it around, pulling it back out before shrugging and continuing forward.

After the short-lived dragon lord Spike had forced him to hug every dragon he met on his way back home, his reputation among the teenage dragons had taken a massive blow. Only a few of his more loyal cronies remained with him, and even then would never let him live it down. Only something truly daring, diabolical and awesome could possibly hope to repair it. And after hearing down the grapevine about those pathetic pastel horses now worshiping some sort of baby unicorn with wings, he had got an idea; if he could snatch the baby and stash her away somewhere, those ponies would do anything to get her back. It would kill two birds with one stone: the other dragons would think he was totally awesome for managing to steal the baby, and he could get enough riches from the ransom to increase his hoard ten-fold. Maybe even grow him up to an adult dragon, that would be rad.

-

Garble smiled with pride and diabolical glee. While one dragon he would admit likely couldn’t have gotten past all the guards, the entire group of dragons had gotten him to the baby’s room. Of the eight that had originally accompanied him, however, only two were still with him. The others had met some complications along the way. Garble ordered the other two to stand watch, as he walked up to the door, cracking his knuckles. He pushed open the door, and tiptoed his way past the many toys that dotted the floor. Standing over the crib, he gave a slight chuckle, pulling out a big ol’ brown sack as he reached for the baby. As he did so, however, he heard a very quiet voice go “psst”. Giving a confused “huh?” he looked around, his eyes stopping on what looked like some sort of toy-sized insectoid pony, who looked back at him with fear in its eyes.

“Don’t do it! It’s not worth it! Save yourself!” While it was rather tiny, its shouts somehow reached Garble’s ears, who looked down, confused. Before he could react, however, another sound grabbed his attention. He whipped back around to see Flurryheart slowly open her eyes, awoken by the sound of Garble’s “huh”. She peered up at Garble, who suddenly felt an intense feeling of dread wash over him…

-

Two crystal pony guards sat at a table, playing dice with one another.

“Hah! I win again!” The one guard chuckled as he pulled the coins over to him, the other guard grumbling in frustration. Before they could begin another game, however, another guard trotted over, a stern expression on his face.

“What are you two idiots doing? There’s no time to play games! An intruder could come running down this corridor at any moment! We have to be ready!” Almost as if on cue, the two dragons that had been with Garble ran past, screaming their heads off as if Tiamat herself were on their heals.

“Hm. Convenient. Get them!” The three guards grabbed their weapons and chased in pursuit.

Meanwhile…

Garble screamed in terror as he ran across a small planetoid, dressed in space pirate garb as he ran away from a group of space alicorns who blasted rapid fire magic shots at him.

“Somebody, anybody, HEEELLP!”

Elsewhere…

Shining Armor sat at a table with his gaming friends, playing a late night session, before looking up suddenly.

“...Did you guys hear something?” The rest of the group shook their heads. Shining looked on for a moment, before shrugging and getting back to the game, unwittingly leaving Garble to his fate.

Session 58.3 Grogar-the-oneser and Alex Warlorn (continued from Session 57.1 )

Three days later.

Both Pinkie and Gilda were tied to pole with everyone arm with tomatoes.

"Then again I have been wrong before." Pinkie admitted.

"Let's hit them with tomatoes in the face!"

"Yes! Let's him them with tomatoes in the face, from this vase!"

"We'll hit them with tomatoes in the face from this vase so hard they'll rocket into space!"

"They'll be gone without a trace after we've hit them with tomatoes in the face and they've rocketed into space!"

Pinkie Pie said, "We shall return for space for we shall ace space, and so we won't be gone without a trace after you rocket us into space by throwing tomatoes in my face from the vase!"

"Don't listen to her! We must do so post haste! And throw tomatoes in their face from this vase so hard they rocket into space and be gone without a trace!"

"But space we shall ace!" Gilda quipped. "And my face will appear in space, for a constellation with my face in space I shall lace!"

The idea of Gilda's grinning face looking down at them from space scared the crowded place.

"Me too!" That was enough to make the crowd retreat.

Gilda slapped Pinkie Pie in the face with her tail. "Combo breaker."

Pinkie Pie grinned, "You're learning young one!"

Zecora was smiling.
"Like the tide turns to foam,
I feel like I am home!"

Session 58.4 Alex Warlorn, Mtangalion, Ardashir (Continued from Session 57.4 )

"And since Yakyakistan is now saying that Icehome is actually on land claimed by the Yaks centuries ago, and are demanding the Diamond Wolves fall under their 'protection', it's a golden time for the Northern Diamond Dogs and Diamondia to be reunited. Since if Icehome is recognized by the other Diamond Dog kingdom, then we can argue that Yakyakistan's claims are outdated and your two kingdoms can become recognized as a united alliance," Twilight Sparkle explained.

'It explains why Diamond Dogs were so magically behind other species. The skilled and learned mages likely most all left with the separatists, and they still have a culture of secrecy from the time when intellectuals were oppressed.' Princess Twilight would have likely found a new species to call herself if she'd been in their shoes.

Alisa growled. "Diamond Dogs nothing but mangy thieves!"

Princess Twilight looked between the two talking canines at her 'friendship table' in her castle at what was supposed to be a 'friend game' of Snakes and Ladders. "Isn't it time to bury the hatchet? Think of all the things you could accomplish together. Why, except for a few magic-induced cold weather adaptations, you're still the same species."

Alisa and Fetch growled. "Grrrrr! We're nothing alike!"

"Funny, Princess Platinum and Commander Hurricane said the same thing a couple thousand years ago," Rainbow Dash remarked.

'Yeah, reconciling the Diamond Dogs and Diamond Wolves comes under the heading of 'long-term project.'' Twilight Sparkle thought.

Session 58.5 Mtangalion and SomeRandomMinion and Alex Walorn (Continued from Session 57.6)

Behind the GM screen Applejack raised her arms dramatically that reminded Rainbow Dash more of milking a giant cow. "Ha! The secretly evil guy you took out was the secret minion of your secretly evil Wise Mentor! Dun-dun-dun!"

Applejack blinked. Rainbow Dash had fallen asleep!

"HEY!"

"Huh? Whu-? Sorry AJ, but name one mentor in stories who didn't turn out to be evil or didn't die before the second act. My mentor living all the way to the third act? It was obvious you were planning something when he didn't even get kidnapped, or didn't suffer a horrible death at the hooves of the supposed evil overlord."

"AGH!"

"Keep trying AJ."

Session 58.6 Kendell2, Alex Warlorn

Playing one of their games of chess, Luna remarked.

"Sister, did ye truly not know ye art an oath?"

"Luna, I was joking for Twilight's sake."

"With you sister, tis impossible to always be sure."

"I knew there was a liked you better than Lulu Celly!"

"AGH!" Luna snapped. "Be gone spirit of chaos!"

"Now don't be jealous Lulu, I-OW! Okay! I'm leaving, I'm leaving!"

Session 58.7 Alex Warlorn

Pinkie Pie waved. "Hi! The author just wants you to know this next bit is Non-Canon, just for fun, don't take this seriously, it's just a joke to tie in with Friendship is Magic IDW issue number 53. Okay? Good! Have fun!"

-

King Thorax was very confused when the letters on the (non-magical) Adventure Book he'd borrowed from Staright, suddenly rearranged themselves. "'Beware oh ye pretender, someday soon, the true king of all changelings shall return, your false history your kin have created for yourselves will protect you not. Prepare yourself for my return.'"

A similar message appeared in a Fuzzy Wuzzy Friends pop-up book that Queen Rosedust had reading under her royal bed cover at that very moment.

'Imposter. Thy fate is sealed.'

Meanwhile in her drafty, leaky ruins of a castle, Chrysalis snorted, "Who thought it would be funny to write in my copy of '101 Ways To Destroys Your Enemies!' I snatched from King Sombra's library when Cadence wasn't looking during one of our role playing season?"

'My dear Chrysalis, we shall be reunited again soon.' The letters had rearranged themselves to say.

"Why do I feel like I SHOULD know who this is? But don't? Bah! Whatever. Maybe?"

Session 58.8 Kendell2, Alex Warlorn, Mtagnalion, Ardashir, sonicandmario826.

"So Twilight was going through a buncha imagine spots on what would happen if she sent Starlight to live someplace else, Spike?"

Spike rolled his eyes. "Yes Rainbow Dash, that's what I just said. And those aren't even the weirdest ones."

"I'm not quite following the logic here. How does sending Starlight to Griffonstone wind up with Gilda ruling Equestria?" Spike asked.

Twilight's eyes shifted. "Um, I'll explain later!"

Doctor Hooves popped up from nowhere. "Hah, no you won't."

"Gah!"

"And Twilight teleported him to the Crystal Empire in a panic, I think."

-

"Last few seasons of episodes of your life not perfect! Yaks deeestroooy!"

"But I'm not ready to regenerate yet!" Doctor Whooves did what he did best and ran for it.

-

"I'm sure he's fine," Rainbow Dash said.

"What I was surprised at," Spike continued. "Was Celestia showing off a memory of you five together. I thought you weren't all close friends before."

"Oh we WEREN'T all close friends darling." Rarity admitted.

"I thought Pinkie Pie was just an annoying pink pony," Rainbow Dash admitted. Pinkie Pie just smiled and nodded.

"And me and Rarity were ready to claw each other's eyes out when we had that sleepover of Twilight's." Applejack added.

"Er, I wouldn't go, THAT, I wouldn't go that far darling," Rarity said eying Spike.

"Yeah, we were all together because we all got put in charge of different stuff for the Summer Sun Celebration," Rainbow Dash admitted.

"Well, that's a relief, I was worried we had another tear in the space time continuum to worry about." Everypony silently agreed to pretend that hadn't heard what Pinkie Pie just said. "Speaking of which, your mom and dad sure liked to hoard ribbons and hats right?"

"Yeah, even when they didn't bother wearin' most of the time. But me and Apple Bloom treasure every last one of them. But we won't go nuts over losing one."

Rarity gave a sigh of relief.

Session 58.9 Ardashir Alex Warlorn

(Friendship Is Magic IDW Issue 53 Spoilers)

"Wait wait wait," Twilight said as she and her friends enjoyed some victory pancakes. "You're tell me, the dragon and the knights inside the pocket reality created by Shadow Lock's magic had no idea why they were fighting?"

"Well, they DID say they'd been fighting for centuries." Fluttershy admitted.

"But... but... you said they knew everything that was written on the paragraphs of the displays, no more and no less."

"Yeah," Spike said.

"So... they didn't bother to even INCLUDE WHY the ponies/dragons war EVEN STARTED?! That's... that's outrageous! ... Hmmm. Maybe I should ask BBBFF's royal guard and game designer friends to create a historical war game about that."

"Uh, darling, aren't you worried about the sue happy over sensitives that have been attacking your brother's friends as of late? Also, I a VERY VERY VERY SURE NOW that if we had GONE TO COURT that we'd have WON that case against the griffins, the diamond dogs, and the others."

"Actually," Spike admitted. "As long we included an alternate scenario where the Dragonlands WON the war, I imagine that Ember won't mind too much. Not sure about Mina though."

"Oh Spike, Mina's a good dragon. She won't demand that we hide from our pasts. And that was a VERY long time ago."

"Very long time for ponies, not dragons," Spike pointed out.

"And most of the Dragon Town dragons are all young radicals. They'll likely not connect themselves with the 'Migration Dragons's War.'"

"You think?"

"We can't bottle ourselves up, scared of expressing ourselves, forever afraid that everything we say or do will offend somepony."

Session 58.10 Alex Warlorn

"Does Trixie have to do this?"

"I'm not letting you near that table for game night again until you do Trixie." Starlight glared at her.

"Fine fine Starlight, I solemnly swear not to teleport the Friendship Map again." Trixie waved a hoof. "Twilight's not exactly getting much use out of that thing other than game night anyway. And have you READ about some of those adventure? Not that Trixie has been reading Twilight's diary that she keeps under her pillow with the key in the bottom drawer of her dresser. But just conjure up a completely unrealistic pony out of nothing that exists just to embody a problem, have one of the two Elements of Harmony act like an idiot, with the pecking order of most likely to be the smart one to the one most likely to be the idiot being Fluttershy on top, followed by Pinkie Pie, then Twilight Sparkle then Applejack, then finally Rarity at the bottom."

"You mean like a mare who can't shut up about how great she is, whens he's more bark than bite?" Starlight was happy to turn the tables on Trixie for once on recounting their past screw-ups.

"Hey! The great and powerful Trixie is at least logical! I mean seriously, a super popular and super influential food critic who loves food that everypony else HATES? How does that even make sense?! Is there a secret organization building pony like robots whose only purpose is to be jerks custom made to whatever problem the Elements of Harmony are dealing with?"

Session 58.11 Alex Warlorn

"I really feel like sending a nasty letter to the Ponyville Gazette."

"Why is that honey?" Shining Armor asked looking up from Twilight's letter requesting a Dragonlands/Equestria education war game.

"The IDEA that Twilight would ever bring our Flurry, a 12-month old foal, into a room full of sick grade schoolers with Horsie Hives? She's not that irresponsible."

"Well, haven't you ever heard of a pox party?" Shining Armor offered, sweating a little.

"I'm pretty sure DEAR those are discouraged in this modern age in favor of good new inoculation!"

"Oh well! Twili' DOES an anti-germ protection spell! Like the kind she used on herself and you when Discord faked being sick."

"I remember. But the story makes no mention of her using it at all."

"Well, but it doesn't mention her NOT using it right?" Shining fidgeted more.

Cadence's eyes narrowed looking over the paper. "Wouldn't you sister cry in shame at you using 'there's no proof it didn't happen' logic?"

"Well," Shining eyes shifted. "Wouldn't it be OUT OF CHARACTER, if Twilight DIDN'T use that spell? I mean, it would be like assuming Twilight and her friends DIDN'T try to reason with Rainbow Dash when she started showboating before saving ponies when they invented Mare Do Well to cover her slack? Just because the papers didn't mention that part, doesn't mean it didn't happen, and if it would be out of character for it NOT to have happened, isn't it better to assume it did?"

"... Fine. I won't send the letter."

'Whew!' Shining wiped the sweat from his brow.

-

"First Base! Poor Baby Brother!" Flash Sentry cried, that his sibling was so sick along with his class that he needed to be in the hospital. And there was now the story going around that he'd been freaked out by Princess Flurry Heart running amok in the hospital, the same baby Flurry Heart, that according to records he might not have been exactly privy to, had come close to destroying the Crystal Empire single hoofedly in a temper tantrum.

Which was why Agent Bon Bon had taken it upon herself to erase the foals' memories of the incident so they didn't negatively think of their visiting princess and pass on that negativity to their parents and possibly sour the alliance between the two kingdoms. Or would have if Maternity Love-Tap hadn't sliced her 'infection deflection' spell device in two with her katana.

Both mares were dressed as nurses, with fake red cross cutie marks. After all, a ninja/secret agent that looked like a ninja/secret agent, was a very poor ninja/secret agent.

"What the buck maternity! I-"

Hoof slap. "LANGUAGE! Your a mother! I thought you'd understand!"

"No! I thought YOU'D understand! I thought your 'Celestia founded' organization were all about 'protecting innocent foals from traumatizing and corruptive material!'"

This was technically true, Celestia had been very worried about Nightmare Moon using her dream walking magic to brainwash and traumatize foals either directly or by artists she corrupted a thousand years ago when Maternity Love-Tap's order of ninjas was founded. Much like Celestia's fear of becoming like Nightmare Moon herself had led her to found SMILE around the same time.

"I don't use a magical device that intentionally causes brain damage!"

"Rogue element!"

"Looks who's talking!"

One mother forgot about her sword and kunai, and the adopted mother forgot about her spy gadgets and bother resorted to good old hoof-to-hoof combat.

And so began another epic battle in the shadows of Ponyville between 'so called retired' ninja and 'so called retired' secret agent.

The foals got a nice show of Ninja verses Secret Agent.

"All part of the show kids, all part of the show." Flash Sentry assured them.

"I wish was pirates," One of the foal said.

-

Cherry Fizzy and Banjo, and Note Worthy, Caramel had wandered into the Ponyville art gallery that had apparently always been around, much like that dance studio. Confused by the invite they'd gotten.

"Hi guys!" Said a blue haired orange stallion with a red scared who was most definitely to brawny to be Flash Sentry.

"Uh, who are you?"

"Guys! It's me! Spear Head! From Royal Guard Academy, remember?"

The eyes of the four stallions dilated. "Oh, right."

"Of course."

"How could we have forgotten?"

"It's great to see you again."

"And it's great to see you!" Said Spear Head, oblivious to the odd 'remembrance' of his friends. "Let me show you all my new art collections!"

That was when, in broad daylight, never a good sign, Princess Luna appeared, complete with her swirling dark blue cloud that she descended from in a storm cone.

"THIS NOT ART! THESE ARE ABOMINATIONS UPON THE FACE OF EQUESTRIA! The scrawlings of Princess Flurry are more art than this rubbish!"

Princess Luna vaporized the collection of modern art, and the souls of artists from beyond cheered. "And their source must be destroyed so more abominations are not spawned!"

Spear Head ran for his life, but was caught in Luna's magic and pulled towards him.

"I have only one last thing to say to ye abomination, and that is, hey dude are you alright?" She asked in Banjo's voice.

Banjo tapped Spear Head on the shoulder, who woke up.

"GAH!" His beautiful (in his opinion, not that art needed to be beautiful, or anything) art was still intact. And no sign of the reformed Nightmare Moon.

"You okay? You fell asleep right in the middle of chatting with us."

"Uh, yeah, not been pulling all nighters."

-

Twilight tried to paint miniatures for the next gaming session, but Pinkie Pie just stood there, with a smug look on her face. Twilight went to the kitchen, and Pinkie Pie followed, maintaining the exact same distance, still with a smug look on her face.

"Ugh! Pinkie Pie! Will you stop already?"

"Don't worry, I'll only do this until next week's adventure. Whose the total screw-up when it comes to foal sitting now?"

"... Is it too late to say I'm sorry for how I acted when you baby sat the Cake twins the first time?"

"And you have to take CARE of the babies, not just play with-"

"I get it already!"

"Oh no we're not. I'm riding this train for all it's worth!"

"Except I'm a Princess and I can put you in my dungeon you know!"

"Except you won't. And you don't even have one, remember? That's your basement."

"Blast! I have to get some work done on this place. And you just wait until our next game of O&O!"

-

"A BABY has figured out teleport magic at the age of 1... WHHHHHHHAAAAAAA! TRIXIE FEELS INSECURE!" Trixie was drowning her sorrows at Sugar Cube Corner.

"Welcome to the club." Scootaloo said sitting at the same table looked over at her with a giant milkshake at seeing Baby Flurry Heart's acrobatic moves.

"TRIIIIIIXIE! You know I'll always love you right?" Sang the Alicorn Amulet's siren call.

'Trixie thinks we should see other ponies.....and by 'See other ponies' she means her being friends with those ponies and you never seeing another pony again.'

Zecora, a zebra, and therefore not a pony, trotted up behind Trixie,, her eyes big red swirls, smiling, Zecora said, wearing the Amulet.

"Trixie whether if you would or would not mind,
"Wear necklace that crept on me from behind."

Trixie sighed. It was gonna be one of nights.

"This happen every time your ego takes a hit?" Scootaloo asked.

"... Not every time."

Session 58.12 Alex Warlorn

"Spike, have I ever told you how wonderful you were as a newborn baby dragon?" Twilight asked, setting up the miniatures and props for the next game.

"Didn't I nearly drive you insane, cause your grade to fall, and humiliate you in front of your classmates?"

"YES!!!"

"Trixie only wishes she had a camera as a filly."

"WAIT! You were there?!" Twilight turned, wondering when Trixie had snuck in, again.

"... Your ability to recognize ponies whom you do not consider your friends is truly wonderful oh loving Princess Twilight Sparkle, and not at all a sign of nepotism."

Spike pointed. "What about you remembering Twilight when you saw her in Ponyville for the first time?"

"... Trixie pleads the fifth."

-

"So if we did a wing transfer-switch spell, I'd get t fly, and the Crystal Empire wouldn't have to worry about their heir flying off of roofs right?" Scootaloo asked the three creepy ponies who had tried to steal Rainbow Dash's wings.

Session 58.13 Alex Warlorn

"'Gusty The Great,' the author sure had a flare for the dramatic," Twilight Sparkle said, already imagining adapting it into a game module.

"Yes... she did," Celestia said calmly.

2000 or so years ago.

"Gusty, what are you doing?" Truly asked, seeing the unicorn at the type writer Megan had lent her. Never mind how she was using it.

"Writing my memoirs."

Truly looked at what had been written so far. "'Punch, pow, ka-flosh you Tambleon pigs'?"

"... Maybe I need an editor?"

"You think?"

"And when did you punch Grogar six times in the face? I'm pretty sure you never said, 'Haha, got your goat!'" Buttons The First asked, having come in as well and helped herself to the draft without prompting.

"Just making stuff things more interesting!"

"Fighting Grogar's armies wasn't interesting?!"

"The publisher said I needed to make things more interesting!"

"And since when did Grogar draw his magic from ponies being afraid of him?"

"They said the 'enchanted bell' thing wouldn't relate to today's readers well, so I made it up. Plush it kinda works as, what's that word? Oh yeah, metaphor! He ruled his city through fear right?"

"Aren't there already a lot of those?" Buttons The First pointed out.

"'Unicorn warriors?' Really?" Truly asked reading on.

"Hey! It sounds cool doesn't it!?"

"And you cut out us singing 'Let Freedom Ring.'"

"The publisher felt songs don't mix with action sequences."

"That's stupid," Buttons said.

"And I am fairly certain that Grogar is best described as 'tyrannical', not 'treacherous.' " Wind Whistler remarked.

"WHEN DID YOU GET IN HERE?!" Gusty demanded.

"You left your window open, an you were clearly expressing need for narrative advice for your dramatization of events that you are passing off as an autobiography."

Session 58.14 Alex Warlorn and Ardashir

"C-common gems..." Cried, sitting at the same 'bar' at Sugar Cube Corner as Trixie and Scootaloo has occupied.

Spike pattered her on the back. "There there Rarity, just think of their artistic value and you'll be fine."

"But what if Sapphire Shores accuses me of overcharging her?!"

"Hey, she's a reasonable mare."

"'Reasonable' is not the same thing as 'merciful' Spike! A mare like her can't afford disastrous mistakes, and she doesn't accept them from those who work for her either!"

"... Let me just find a game of Dress Up Store, and you can dressed up instead of the paper dolls all day long."

"Really Spike? Thank you!" Rarity gave him a hug. He was REALLY going to pay for this later with Twilight's schedule.

-

"So it turns out I had more connections to ponies you already know like they spawned out of nothing, isn't it cool?" Starlight explained to Applejack as she trounced Applejack at Checkers for the 8th time in a row. Of course AJ said 'Best out of Twenty.'

"You get used to it, Starlight. Isn't that right Rara?"

-

"Miss Pinkie Pie hit Mommy in the head with a pizza box?! She should be ashamed!" Dinky Doo snorted angrily. Amethyst nodded darkly.

"It's no big deal girls!" She said to her daughters. "You'd be surprised at how many free stuff I get from that happening. And free pizza!"

Session 58.15 Mtangalion

“You see, my little thestral?” Luna offered a reassuring smile to Windy Whisper, as if comforting a foal imagining that Queen Chrysalis was lurking under her bed. “The beings of Lich-tenstein are fearsome, it is true, but not so threatening as you imagined.”

Luna had crafted tonight’s shared dream to resemble one of Canterlot’s grand theaters. A spotlight followed her as she approached the first of many creatures on the stage - an elegantly dressed thestral with burning red eyes, who hissed and drew a cloak about herself as the light approached. “The vamponies of Lich-tenstein sup upon blood, not magic as your nightponies do.”

Luna approached the next creature, a hulking gray dog with a black vest and many scars. “This is a Blood Diamond Dog. They are ever at war with the Zombie Dogs, and neither are in the habit of turning into ponies.”

Then she trotted over to a massive animated bone claw… the rest of the monstrosity was far too large to fit on stage. “The dragons of Lich-tenstein are, regrettably, mostly of the dracolich variety. No one would remotely confuse them with the kirin of Dusklight.”

Windy Whisper sat in the audience, alone amidst hundreds of empty seats, but already she seemed much more at ease. “Thank you so much, Princess! Ugh, I can’t believe I got so worked up over nothing.”

Windy bit into another dream-apple to soothe her nerves, wings twitching. “When I heard about Lich-tenstein, somehow I imagined that the tribes I created would suddenly turn out to be real, and not something I invented at all. I know I’m not that great of an author; I’d just die if ponies thought I was a fraud too.” She chuckled, flopping back in her seat. “You won’t believe this… I was actually worried that all the nightponies, wolfponies, and kirin would get mad and sue me like those poor game designers. You don’t know what a relief it is, knowing that they’re 100% fictional, and I can keep writing them any way I want!”

Luna’s smile froze, just for an instant.

Windy’s eyes narrowed. “Princess? What aren’t you telling me?”

In the next dream over, Sweetie Belle was finishing up the final frosting flourishes on the perfect recreation of her ancestor’s famous hundred-layer cake, when an ear-piercing “Whaaaaaat!?” made the whole cake collapse, burying half of Ponyville. “Oh, come on!”

In yet another dream, Prince Blueblood was flirting with attractive young mares at a fancy dress ball, promising them some private entertainment in his chambers, but three times in a row, he got the girl there and kissed her, only for her to unzip her head and turn out to be an affectionate Alisa in a costume. “Why?” he roared at her. “What do you want from me?”

“Blueblood doesn’t know,” said dream-Alisa, wagging her tail. “She went out of her way to be nice. Alisa’s interested in Blueblood, even pup could see it, but what does she want? What’s her game?”

“There you are, darling!” exclaimed dream-Rarity, levitating a butterfly net and a large cake. She batted her obviously false eyelashes at him. “I know. Let’s talk.”

Blueblood rubbed his eyes, trying to blot Alisa and Rarity both out. “I hate my subconscious sometimes.” Then the whole dream-palace shook and groaned as if an Ursa Major had taken a bite of it. “Oh, what now?”

Blueblood galloped back to the ballroom and skidded to a halt. The dream-party guests had vanished, and a whole wall had been torn out, flooding the room with moonlight. Blueblood tried to shield himself with his hooves, but dream or not, he couldn’t stop himself from growing into the huge white wolf again, tearing his way free of yet another set of expensive pony-sized clothes.

Mocking laughter echoed through the shattered hall. A mare stood before him, where nopony had been a moment before, so shrouded in her cloak and mask that he could make out none of her features. For some reason, a scroll hovered beside her, with an animated feather quill constantly writing. “There are you,” she purred. “Wolfpony!”

Blueblood sighed in a great huff. “Auntie Luna?” his voice growled. “Whatever I did, I’m most regretfully sorry, so if you could see your way to getting me out of this dream... sometime soon?”

“You should be sorry!” said the mystery mare. “Luna favors me this night, not you. How dare you masquerade as one of MY wolfponies?”

Blueblood rubbed his forehead with a paw, feeling a headache coming on. “And you are…”

She drew herself up, leathery wings spread. “I? I am Lady Midnight Heart, the Nightpony Queen!” She leveled a hoof at him. “And you’ve taken something that doesn’t belong to you!”

“Midnight Heart?” He chuckled. “Seriously? That Midnight… THE Midnight Heart? Of course, why not!? However, I believe you’ll find that I was given this form by a literal Act of Discord, so good luck getting it back now, even if I wanted to give it up.. Which I don’t! So there.” He folded his forepaws and turned his head, snorting.

A flare of stolen magic forced him to look at her, and even bow, which got Blueblood snarling.

“Discord or not,” declared Midnight Heart, “none will wear the form of one of my creations unless I deem them worthy!” She laughed again, and thunder crashed for good measure.

“Oh goody,” said Blueblood dryly. “A test of my worthiness. Well, go on, let’s get this over with. I have a lot of nice, boring tax legislation to dream about. What’s it going to be? Death by tedious overwrought romantic triangle?”

Midnight Heart trotted closer, glaring up at him nose to nose. “So insolent, even when your future is in my hooves. Hah! Perhaps you do have a wolfpony’s spirit! You shall have a trial by combat.”

She gestured imperiously, and a vaguely familiar orange earth pony appeared. “Ya’ll called mah family’s apple pies ‘common carnival fare.’ Prepare to die.”

Blueblood the wolf blinked at dream-Applejack. “Oh. That doesn’t seem so bad.”

Midnight Heart stroked her chin. “I agree. Let’s infuse her with kirin blood to make it more interesting.” Mists rose, then cleared away, revealing a wagon-sized orange and gold dragon with scales like polished brass.

“You’ve got to be… ahh!!” Blueblood sprang aside, dodging fiery breath that smelled of baked apples. “So sorry, miss, but I believe I need to be elsewhere… urgently!” He waved a paw, wiggling his toes griffon-style, then turned tail and raced away into the castle corridors.

Windy Whisper grinned behind her mask, then pointed, and the kirin went tearing through the dream after him. “I suppose I'll have to credit him for helping me with this writer's block. Ah well!”

Session 58.16 Grogar-the-oneser (continued from 58.2 )

"According to this note from the crystal empire, they got the idiots from garble group and apparently the ring leader been turn to a toy." Barry (The dragon who wanted the pillow) reported to the dragon lord.

https://www.derpibooru.org/1238082?q=barry

"Any idiot to forget that the ponies are currently our allies, and even forget that theirs a reason why pony consider alicorn to be powerful, deserve what they get." Ember said "But, I'm not a complete jerk, Prominence tell them I'm willing to discuss their terms of release in the form of a game night." Ember said of her fellow dragoness.

https://www.derpibooru.org/1294871?q=prominence

"Yes mam." The female dragon nodded.

Session 58.17 BrutalityInc

Never let it be said that Trixie couldn't be an effective tactician and strategist when she needed to be, and a VERY unconventional one at that.

Of course, she isn't as infallible and clever as others thought her to be, or she herself imagine as in her pride; if one wishes to see her limits, one just need to look at all the times her schemes had spectacularly backfired in the games, or her inability to implement anything clever during the crisis with Chrysalis.

That said, when given enough time and materials to work with - and she didn't need that much of either - she can be a terrifying foe to face, as she readily and easily outwit her opponents with spectacularly cunning stratagems, power-plays and loophole abuses.

Case in point: this current game of O&O.

"Great going, Trixie!" Starlight Glimmer lamented, "Our last raid had not only failed to net any major advantage for our rebel army, we even managed to let slip to Twilight of our plan to attack the city!"

Indeed, it had appear to be a disaster, for all intents and purposes, both in-game and on a meta level. Accidentally leaving one's planning notes for the GM to find even when leaving in a huff of frustration are one of those mistakes that shouldn't be committed, even by a newb.

"Well, Trix-girl, it seems for all your vaunted cunning, you can be quite reckless at times." Discord playfully admonished, coiled up around her seat. "Yet another beautiful plan had been ruined, all thanks to the careless and cankering Trixie!"

"Trixie would like to think of it as audacity, but Trixie concede to your point." Trixie replied. Of course, Trixie knows the chaos serpent had already guessed that there is a deeper level of play when it comes to her, but is letting her do the reveal. "That said, this wouldn't hinder us at all as we set out to liberate that city."

"But Trixie, now that they know of our plans...!" Starlight began, but was interrupted.

"Worry not, Starlight, my dear: for that IS the plan!" Trixie revealed, with her typical dramatic flair, "For now that they know our plans, they shall plan around our plans; all we have to do in turn is plan around the plans that they're planning around our plans!"

There was a moment of stunned silence around the table.

"What." Starlight finally managed.

"Wait... that actually makes a lot of sense!"

Everypony except Trixie turned to Thorax, looking confused. He explained; "I mean, think about it. We know even before the raid that the city's defences are pretty much impregnable, between the walls, the garrison and Princess Twilight covering all possible weak points. That our probing raid failed all but confirmed that, but I don't think that was the intent all along, wasn't it?"

"No, it wasn't." Trixie confirmed.

"They know our plans now, but even she doesn't have infinite resources to react accordingly AND keep her original defence plan in place. And since our attack is seemingly imminent with the raid, she'll have to prioritise, adjust in a hurry..." Thorax finished with widening eyes as he realise the full ramifications of Trixie's stratagem, "Leaving holes in her defences."

"And not only that." Discord grinned, suddenly realising it too, "Given how meticulously the whole plan was constructed, Sparkleflank would have to react only in a certain way, which we will know, leaving her completely unable to act against any unforeseen circumstances!"

"Wait, are you telling me, the entire raid had been a showy, deliberate intelligence leak?" Starlight exclaimed, finally understanding what Trixie is planning, "All so we can restrict her response to the way we WANT her to response, and create weak points where none previously exist?"

Trixie nodded, grinning smugly. Discord, meanwhile, coiled up himself as he guffawed, "Brilliance truly knows no bounds! " He declared.

"Trixie is surprised Thorax saw through it faster than the others did." Trixie remarked, turning to the young changeling monarch, "However did you do it?"

Thorax shrugged, "It seems one of the boons of becoming a royal changeling is that you become a lot smarter than the average changeling, besides the power boost. I mean, after my transformation, my mind has been a lot clearer, and I can read a lot more into things…”

Trixie nodded in understanding, “Well then, my dear fellow, let’s put that improved acuity into good use, because I’m about to explain the REAL plan…”

= = =

Twilight Sparkle, Oubliette Overseer, grimly watched as Trixie’s stratagem unfolded.

She admitted that it was un-sports-pony like for her to use the plan Trixie left behind to coordinate her defences of the city that the rebels are attempting to liberate. She had convinced herself, of course, that it was the duty as the game master to ensure that the players are confronted with an appropriate level of challenge, and to prevent any spectacular derailments. With Trixie’s habit to deviously outsmart her opponents on one day and causing disastrous game outcomes on another, she wasn’t willing to take any chances.

From the looks of things, though, she had fallen right into Trixie’s trap.

Roleplaying the commanders of the city’s garrison, she had shifted troops to ambush rebel forces that was supposed to come in through the sewers – only for rebels to sneak in an advanced force right through the abandoned aqueducts instead. She has had the garrison on high alert and up in the battlements in preparation for the rebels’ main attack – but the rebels, saboteurs under command of Discord’s character, used the opportunity to set fire to the now mostly empty and thinly guarded barracks, causing a blaze that is quickly spreading and tying up many precious troops trying to put out. She went on to prevent the incoming assassination attempt on her garrison officers by having them placed together in a secured location – only for rebel infiltrators under command of Thorax’s character to destroy the bridge between the tower where they are located at and the city’s main fortress keep, effectively severing command and control without even a high commander dead.

It was during that moment of panic and chaos now gripping the city that the main assault came. Although the city garrison outnumbered the rebel army by a third, she found her forces quickly stretched thin by the first wave of attacks, consisting of small forces attacking the city from multiple vectors at once, like multiple heads of a hydra, instead of a concentrated blow from the main gate that Trixie’s ‘plan’ would have it opened. Even amidst the chaos and confusion, all of them were small enough to contain, but Twilight still couldn’t risk ignoring them – if anything, they seem to serve little more than distraction and probing strikes rather than any determined intrusions.

Twilight’s mages would become significant force magnifiers, since Twilight knew what spells the rebels are intending to use for their assault from Trixie’s ‘plan’. Of course, the rebels decided to use COMPLETELY different spells instead, leaving the mages completely blindsided and most of them quickly beaten by their rebel counterparts, led by Starlight Glimmers’ character. Without much of their mages out of commission and their forces stretched and tied up across the long stretches of city battlements, it left them vulnerable to be destroyed piecemeal by the bounded elementals and demons the warlocks among the rebel mages had summoned.

The climax came when Trixie saw a weak point in a position one of her first wave groups are attacking, and threw the entirety of the second wave, consisting of the second half of the rebel army, against it to exploit the breach. Needless to say, with everything that is going on, the defenders there are quickly being overwhelmed, and the rebels are on the verge of breaching the walls and storming the city itself, which would all but guarantee the rebels’ victory in this battle.

Of course, just to top it all off, Trixie had brought with her a trump card to ensure that breach, an advantage that Twilight’s forces sorely lacked…

“Zeppelins!” Twilight said, disbelieving, even as said contraptions bombarded her defenders’ position with blastpowder bombs and alchemist fire canisters in support of the rebel infantry attack “How in Celestia’s mane did you managed to get three cobbled airships together for this attack?”

Trixie shrugged, “Well, it was JUST within the capabilities of the ponies at the setting’s level of development to pull such a feat, and we ran the rolls with Spike just to make sure we get them right.”

“Besides, you never said that we COULDN’T built airships during this campaign…” Discord noted with his own wry grin.

Twilight looked back at Trixie with incredulous eyes, wondering how she managed to pull it all off, and Trixie merely leaned back on her seat with a smile. A magician never reveals her secrets; this is something that Twilight have to figure out, eventually.

Until then, she’s just going sit back and enjoy this upcoming victory...

Session 58.18 Alex Warlorn

(This chapter is not intended as a take that. It is intended as a way to write out the undead pony nation. Which I've always felt was a bad fit for the narrative, it would have worked wonderfully as an independent story, but I feel it was distracting from the 'Table Top RPG' theme of this story. I've talked this over with Devcon already, and he's conceded to let them be written out. As editor-in-chief of this story, I exercise my right to say the undead pony nation just doesn't fit. )

There is a knock on Twilight's door, she opens it to find a glowing alien Alicorn Princess. Wait, Twilight recognized her from that trashy dime-store foals' 'science' fiction book. Princes Dazzleglow.

Princess Dazzleglow proceeds to slap Twilight Sparkle with her wing. Rip in two a 'first contact' paper. She then trotted in a huff back into her flying saucer, and zips away to the distant stars.

"I have to be dreaming!" Twilight Sparkle declared. "Where's Guard Flash Sentry and Student Flash Sentry to cheer me up?"

"It's okay dear." Said Twilight Velvet stepping besides her daughter with a big smile smile and large dilated eyes. "I might not be the secret author of Daring Do as you kept hoping. But I am actually an alien queen and ruler of an entire galaxy."

"Okay, thanks mom, and- WHAT?!"

"And now it's time to add this planet under our imperial protection, don't worry dear, you'll be viceroy of the entire planet. Well, we'll let Shining keep the Crystal Empire." Her mother pushed an invisible button on her chest, causing antenna to appear on her head followed by crystal wings, dressed in a huge collared dressed with flashing lights on them.

At the same time, silvery flying saucers covered the sky.

"NO!" Shouted Starlight Glimmer's mother. "If our treaties forbid any zombie apocalypses then there should be no alien invasions either!"

"Where were you when Chrysalis invaded?" Kevin asked but he was ignored.

"Or Garble wanted us dragons to go all Reign of Fire on Equestria?" Said Spike who was also ignored.

"Do cults taking over count?" Said Button with the flower trio, and again was ignored by the two bigger and more powerful parties.

"We were here first!" Shouted the undead nation ponies.

"No we were!" Shouted the alien ponies in their space ships.

"No we were!"

"We were!"

The space ships and the various undead ponies and other creatures of the domain that had apparently popped into being began blasting each other, space ships vaporizing undead as the undead tore the space ships from the sky. Ponyville's normal inhabitants ran around screaming.

Twilight Sparkle looked at this and said, "Princess Luna? I'm ready to wake up now."

-

Underneath the surface of earth, and behind several layers of blast doors that had been thankfully installed by the ever concerned Pinkie Pie, the mane six sat in Maud Pie's cavern. Along with Spike, Starlight, and Trixie (who had gotten in after getting her cape caught on the blast doors as they were closing, until Starlight reminded Trixie she could teleport now, which resulted in a rather satisfied smirk from Twilight Sparkle before the surprise at Trixie's feat).

"So... what do we do now?" Fluttershy asked.

"We stay here." Maud Pie said.

"Don't worry! I've got board games and table top RPGs stored here for board games and Table top RPGs emergencies!" Pinkie Pie pulled out the time-wasting supplies.

"So how long do we stay down here darling? I'm worried about Sweetie Belle." Rarity said.

"Until the aliens and the undead nation all destroy each other and Equestria is back to normal. Or they destroy the universe, and the gods reset everything." Maud Pie said with a straight face.

"Oh my, Discord hate it whenever he has to do that, 'So much work!'," Fluttershy said, her friends looked at her. "Um! Never mind!"

-

"Zombies Verses Aliens? Who writes this bunk?" Aria Blaze asked, looking at the unholy glowing core rule book written by human Sombra's mother.

Adagio laughed. "Who cares?! We may have lost our power before! But thanks to this cursed book, and everypony becoming obsessed with games in Equestria, we've reached the point where we can turn all of Equestria into one big War table top RPG! More than that! One big MMO augmented reality war table top RPG! And you know what that means girls! Toxicity! Beautiful! Wonderful, toxicity! Ponies being vicious and vile to each other, telling each other to commit suicide, using language that would make sailors faint! We'll be restored to our true power in no time at all!"

"Oh... I thought we were gonna have fun," said Sonoata Dusk, dressed up as a space marine from the human Rabia's incredibly popular table top sci-fi/fantasy war game that she had originally built her entire company on before Rabia had gone completely over the deep end.

"We can't sing, but we can still compose... " Aria smirked in understanding, for once actually admiring her big sister's cunning. "And we've now composed a whole new song for reality."

"President Sombra hated EVERYTHING about his mother. So he tried to bury his mother's greatest creation. Too bad what's buried finds roots and tends to sprout! And with the human world's wild magic spreading like the flu, haha! It just needed somepony to herd it in a certain direction!" Adagio ignored them. "This is great! The changelings, SMILE, dragons, the Princesses, Twilight Sparkle, Sunset Shimmer, may have suspected something, but it had to be somepony 'worthy of them' behind it all! Some great oversized cosmic being! They bought into their own propaganda! And now it's too late! The game is ours!"

Session 58.19 Devcon101 (with edits)

Fluttershy took a look at the clock in her house. It was five minutes past their normal tea /game time. Where was Discord? Maybe she should have invited him to that huge sleep over they had in Maud Pie's cave yesterday.

Speak of the devil, or in this case, think of the devil, for the draconnequus appeared in a snap sound and a flash of light, wearing a suit and tie and looking somewhat exhausted.

“Wow honey, what a day at the office!” he said, snapping his claw as the suit disappeared.

“Sorry I’m late. Celly, Lulu, Tiamat, poor Thorax, Ponythulhu and I had to fix this dimension. Again.” He floated down into his seat, and with another snap, two cups of tea appeared for him and Fluttershy. Fluttershy gave a sympathetic look.

“Oh my, I’m sorry. What happened this time?”

Discord sighed with irritation, as in the middle of the table two small tripods – one red, one black – appeared spontaneously. Out from behind Discords tea cup ran a tiny version of him in a space suit, heading beneath the tripods. Beneath each, a hole opened, and from them tiny versions of the cards of a standard deck, coming from the black or red tripod depending on their color, with arms and legs crawled out, climbing down the tripods legs. The mini discord blew a whistle (somehow) and they all gathered into two separate groups. It then began to grab the cards and lob them in front of Fluttershy and Discord, each card loosing its arms and legs and growing to the size of a normal card upon landing. An odd way of dealing cards for sure, but then again, we are talking about the lord of chaos.

“Adagio and her little sisters got their hands on a book they powered up with untapped magic of the human world to make it alter this world and caused an alien vs undead war. Then the other species joined in and it ended up in a huge mess! Everything should be repaired now.” He summoned a small telescope and looked into it, somehow viewing what he wanted to see through it. “Twilight’s mom is back to normal...”

-

Twilight Velvet combed her hair before a mirror, only for a small antennae to pop out, causing her to let out a yelp in surprise and fear and fainted.

-

“...mostly. Lulu will take care of that I'm sure.” He gave a slight chuckle as an extra disembodied paw and claw grabbed his cards. He turned a knob on the side of the telescope, changing the image in the telescope to reveal the empty expanse of space around Equus.

“The aliens are now once again merely fictional, I think.” He turned it a few more times to reveal different key Equestrian sites, once ravaged by war now completely fine again. “The war never happened. And...” Another turn, revealing an empty expanse of land.

Discord continued.

“The reality layer of the undead kingdom was ported to another, more fitting universe with their minds wiped of this one, and Starlight Glimmer's parents were back to normal.” He pressed down on the two ends of the telescope, compressing it into a flat disk. He rolled this disk into a ball as if it were clay, and the ball turned into one of his eyes. Said corresponding eye rolled back like a ball into his head, and he inserted the new eye in its place.

Fluttershy sipped her tea, giving a slight concerned look.

“But what about the sirens?” Discord gave a slight chuckle as he pushed his hands into the disembodied pair as if they were gloves.

“Oh, epic battle between the forces of good and evil between the Shadow Bolts ponying up for the first time to help save the day along with a ponied-up baby human Flurry Heart, and Sunset Shimmer and her human friends on one side. And Umbrum-uped human Rabia and the sirens powered up again to new heights on the other. Now human Rabia's back in jail, and since there is no law against black magic in the human world, the sirens are back to working at Crystal Soft for now.” He chuckled, looking at his cards as his cup sprouted bat wings and flew up to his mouth, allowing him to take a sip.

Fluttershy only understood a little of that, but just nodded.

“Now then, got any kings?”

Session 58.20 Zaku789 (with edits)

"Look I get it, Fluttershy gave you what seem a somewhat unreasonable demand, but really going behind her back and treated her advise as stupid was a jerk move." Twilight said to Hardhat.

"I mean honestly darling i know were still respective expert on our own fields but Fluttershy is still a expert at her, she tried her hardest to respect yours even after ignoring her advice, which admittedly is impressive since i would have been a bit meaner." Rarity muttered to Dandy.

"Don't get me wrong, I don't think you conned your way into your position, but you could have reached a consensus with Fluttershy with fencing or pits to keep the animal separated." Applejack said to Wrangler. "But just cause you're an expert on one thing, you're not an expert at everything. Why do you think Ponyville has two different veterinarian, they're experts to animals but in different ways, but do they belittle each other cause of it, NO! Both Fluttershy and Doctor Fauna work together and treat the other opinion with proper respect like what you guys should have done with Fluttershy instead of treating it like trash."

"That's why, while we won't badmouth you, we still think you have to make it up to Fluttershy," all three said at the same time.

"So were just have to game night with this guy for one month." Hard Hat said, "That seems... simple."

"Yes, it is odd... who was he again?" Dandy asked.

"Apparently that fluttershy brother... Zephyr something." Wrangler said.

-

Meanwhile, as Applejack talked about why Fluttershy and Dr. Fauna were both needed for Ponyville in spite of both being experts at animals, on the rooftop of Ponyville Town Hall in the dark of the night, Kunoichi Maternity Love Tap and Agent Sweetie Drops faced down each other, weapons drawn.

"Ponyville only needs ONE hidden protector!"

"I agree!" They charged at each other.

And the next morning,

"Mommy, why are you covered in cuts and bruises again?" Button Mash and Tootsie Flute both asked Maternity and Bon Bon at their respective breakfast tables at their homes.

"It's nothing honey, eat your breakfast." They both told their foal, both having to take care of their injuries themselves least the doctors think their spouse was abusing them or something.

Session 58.21 Alex Warlorn

"Your Majesty, what's that?" Locust pointed.

Chrysalis sat on her moth eaten 'royal bed', and used a remote to click through different channels. "It's an 'alternate moral of the story' TV, I got it from Discord at our last poker game."

"Didn't you cheat at that game Your Majesty?"

"Cheating is what it's called only if you get caught."

"What does it do Your Majesty?"

"It shows events in other universe, where the 'moral of the week' those absurd ponies go through happen but a different, opposite lesson is taught. For instance."

Chrysalis clicked on the screen, this one showing an evil witch Zecora who had lured Apple Bloom into the danger of the Everfree Forest. "Instead of 'never judging a book by its cover', instead 'beware trusting strangers.' "

She clicked again. This time it showed the wedding, Cadence running away in tears, and the ponies all siding with Twilight... only for it to turn out Cadence WAS acting the way she did purely from wedding stress of having to manage the entire wedding by herself with no help. "And a aesope of jumping to conclusions before getting all the facts straight." Chrysalis frowned when Cadence DIDN'T call off her wedding with Shining Armor and the ponies all ultimately forgave each other.

Snorting, she clicked the screen again, this time with a fancy 'picture in picture' option.

One picture showed Rarity getting the dresses for her friends made for the Grand Galloping Gala, but ignoring EVERYTHING her friends said, leaving the girls with dresses that didn't match their tastes at all. They had some harsh words for her. And Rarity just walked off camera with her nose in the air indignant.

And the other had Fluttershy with Hard Hat, Wrangler, and Dandy Grandeur... micromanaging EVERYTHING for her animal sanctuary, to the point that no work was getting done, and what work had been done, was rendered useless as they had to redo over and over to keep up with Fluttershy's vague yet picky changing demands.

"And here we have when two 'morals of the story' switched places. But why can't I find the one where the moral is 'it's better for livestock to bow down to the superior changeling race?'"

Session 58.22 Alex Warlorn

Starlight Glimmer behind the Oubliette Overseer screen wailed, "Nooo!" in an imitation of a stallion's voice.

"Well, so much for Marvin the Mind Controller!" Rainbow Dash said with a grin. Maybe she had enjoyed beating up the enemy too much.

"And one, two, three," Twilight said, "My character should undo the enchantments on all these innocent bulls and yaks working his flower garden!"

In a beefy voice Starlight said, "'I, Globdoom The Merciless, thank you for freeing me and my Hoard of Destruction from Prison Warden Marvin's magic! In thanks, you have the honor of being the first I shall behead in my renew glorious Campaign of Blood!'"

AJ's eyes narrowed.

Fluttershy's jaw dropped. "But-but, little Timmy said you were all orphans!"

"'We believe in burning away the past. Little Baby Eating Timmy didn't lie.'"

"I knew this was a bad idea," Spike said, reading his comics.

"Then why didn't ya say nothin'?!"

"Yes Spikey-Wikey why?"

"Felt unsportsdrakelike since I was the one who loaned Starlight those 'Radiance Meets The Indigo Herd' comics."

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (update already)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 58.0 Alex Warlorn
Session 58.1 Ardashir (Continued from Session 57.12 )
Session 58.2 Devcon101
Session 58.3 Grogar-the-oneser and Alex Warlorn (continued from Session 57.1 )
Session 58.4 Alex Warlorn, Mtangalion, Ardashir (Continued from Session 57.4 )
Session 58.5 Mtangalion and SomeRandomMinion and Alex Walorn (Continued from Session 57.6)
Session 58.6 Kendell2, Alex Warlorn
Session 58.7 Alex Warlorn
Session 58.8 Kendell2, Alex Warlorn, Mtagnalion, Ardashir, sonicandmario826.
Session 58.9 Ardashir Alex Warlorn
Session 58.10 Alex Warlorn
Session 58.11 Alex Warlorn
Session 58.12 Alex Warlorn
Session 58.13 Alex Warlorn
Session 58.14 Alex Warlorn and Ardashir
Session 58.15 Mtangalion
Session 58.16 Grogar-the-oneser (continued from 58.2 )
Session 58.17 BrutalityInc
Session 58.18 Alex Warlorn
Session 58.19 Devcon101 (with edits)
Session 58.20 Zaku789 (with edits)
Session 58.21 Alex Warlorn
Session 58.22 Alex Warlorn

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Cover art by KcKreations http://alexwarlorn.deviantart.com/art/My-Legendary-Pony-Fluttershy-the-Druid-WIP-605199417

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Session 59

Session 59.0 Kendell2

After Human Twilight had found the Music Castle in Rainbows and Crystals, she'd gotten interested about them and started looking around.

"Hmm...interesting..."

"What?" asked pony Twilight, looking over.

"The Castle near Ponyville is listed as the Castle of Friendship, and is where you can send gifts and mail to friends on the server, as well as ask for a party and quite a few mini games," human Twilight explained, showing the world map. "The one in Unicornia is listed as the Castle of Rainbows, and is where in this universe rainbows are made, and where the Rainbow Celebration event is held and along with a number of Unicornia's Mini Games...as well as implications that some event that hasn't been implemented..." she said, noting that there was a 'Rainbow Princess' mentioned but not present in the current build. "Then there's the Castle of Music I found that's still a WIP..."

"I'm calling it now: there's music rhythm game there," Rainbow Dash replied, which she'd actually be fine with. She did like music.

Sci-Twi nodded, then pointed to a few spots on the map. "There are several open areas with nothing in them yet and marked as 'no build' areas. Four more to be exact. I think the final version of the game will have seven castles..."

"Cool, so gonna be lots to do?" asked Applejack asked, giving a smirk. She was enjoying what was already in the game, so more wasn't a

"Looks like it." The human version of Twilight then gave a blink. "Wait...looks like they added another castle in the last update..."

The group quickly headed there and entered it, finding the sign reading the 'Castle of Family.'

Like Music, it was still rather barren, but there were options to make 'family portraits', both with siblings one had in the game and, in a nice touch, to create in game avatars for parents or siblings.

Rainbow Dash, to her surprise, found her mother had apparently had them programmed to be mother and daughter in game.

"Yah know, that's a sweet touch," Applejack commented, ever the family lover, but frowned at the thought of making parents, and just made one for Big Mac and linked her and Applebloom's in game avatar as siblings.

Human Twilight nodded, quickly doing the same with Shining Armor, while Pony Twilight needed some time to think when it came to Minty. "It is...also, note that Cutie Mark are Procedurally Generated..."

"Hey, look..." said Fluttershy, pointing to the back of the room.

There stood what was obviously Sombra's normal, mortal unicorn form and Radiant Hope from World of Hoofcraft rendered in the game's art style, both standing in front of a door.

The group approached and spoke with them...

"Sorry, we're not quite ready yet to open this door, and what's behind it is a big secret for now," Radiant Hope said, using the human world's voice.

Comically enough, Sombra's options had some amusing ones.

'Have you ever ruled an Empire?' Applejack clicked.

"Ruled an Empire? I do not believe so, why do you ask?"

"Hehe, mythology gag..." said Pinkie Pie with a chuckle.

"Wonder what's behind it..." said Twilight. She also took note of a family portrait of the two behind them...only the two of them. She knew the two were married in real life, but that wasn't an option in game yet.

"Daddy!" said AI Screwball, popping up on her creator's computer.

'Yes dear?' Discord typed back.

"Look what I made!" she called, clicking and showing a screenshot of a family portrait made in Rainbows and Crystals, with her and a ponified Discord with a happy expression.

Discord blinked, then gave an uncharacteristically warm smile. 'Thanks dear...' he typed, rubbing her mane with his cursor.

Session 59.1 Alex Warlorn

"Fluttershy? What's this?" Rarity wanted to say it looked like a piece of modern art, one of Sweetie Belle's earliest attempts at artist expression, or a bottle of glue that fell into a trash heap.

"Oh, that's my dream chart."

"Uh, Fluttershy, I saw your dream chart. It was nothing like this."

"Oh that's my OTHER dream chart, it's the one Discord helped me with before I showed it to those three so-called 'experts.'"

"Ah... I see."

-

Rarity slammed the door open, looking at the ponies enduring the antics of Fluttershy's brother in no small douses.

"Get out, you're all exonerated."

Session 59.2 Alex Warlorn

"What do you have to say for yourselves?"

"That wasn't us! That was someone corrupted by out of control magic!" Adagio said using her centuries of experience to make herself sound like the cornered victim of circumstances.

Sonata Dusk said with a straight face, "I can't remember anything, what are we doing here?"

Aria Blaze said deadpan, "We were under the control of evil alien parasites, so we're completely excused for our actions."

"A worst bad guy betrayed us?"

It was swallowed, hook, line, and sinker. People did excuse Midnight Sparkle, Nightmare Moon, Gaea Everfree, and Discord, for those reasons after all.

Session 59.3Ardashir

"Okay, Dash, you cast your geas spell on the wicked Changeling Queen to make her stop doing evil," Twilight rolled the dice out of sight and frowned. "And she fails her save. So..." She started to speak in a overblown imitation of Chrysalis' voice.

Chrysalis, her eyes swirling, mumbled dully. "Yes, Mistress, I will never invade another country ever again. I will allow my starving Changelings to decide for themselves how they want to live their lives. And if I break my word, may your dread and dire spell leave me too weak to even crawl."

"Hah! Well, that's the end of that problem." Dash looked smug. Twilight rolled her eyes as the blue pegasus said, "Now I know why you unicorns love to mind control everypony all the time."

"WE DON'T MIND CONTROL EVERYPONY --" Twilight stopped yelling and smiled. "Okay... so now I suppose you tell the Changelings what you did?"

Dash smirked as the rest of her friends looked uncertain.

"Eh, maybe this ain't such a smart idea --"

"Sure it is," Dash waved one hoof regally. "I say, 'Okay, formerly evil bug ponies, you can go and live in peace and, eh, do whatever it is you guys do when you're not obeying Queen Cheeselegs'."

"Sure," Twilight said with an increasingly evil smirk. "One Changeling flies up in front of them all and says, 'Did you hear that? The ponies have mind controlled our queen to make her do what they want! Unless we stop them, we're next!' And they all look at you, snarling like the biggest hornets in the world."

"Let me guess, dear," Rarity scowled at Dash. "They all attack us?"

"You got it."

"What?" Dash put her hooves on her hips as she looked around the table. "Us against a hundred Changelings. We've done this in real life; and this time we get extra XP for it!"

Session 59.4 Mtangalion

Windy Whisper bit into another dream-apple to soothe her nerves, leathery wings twitching. "This is so embarrassing. Me, needing you to come galloping to my rescue, as if I was a little foal having a bad dream about the boogie-mare. Not that I'm not grateful!"

Luna offered a reassuring smile. "We all have our fears and doubts, my little thestral." She and Windy sat side by side, alone amidst hundreds of empty seats in a grand dream-theater. "However, I've often found that such things are not nearly so frightening, seen from this perspective."

On the stage, another Windy Whisper came skidding to a half before a dream version of Starlight Glimmer. "Starlight, you have to help me... they've all become real somehow!" She started pacing frantically. "Spike turned into a kirin and started battling a bunch of nightponies for Rarity's hoof in marriage. Bon Bon fought a whole pack of wolfponies for some reason, and they carried her off into the forest. Twilight locked herself in her castle and won't come out. What do we do?!"

Starlight chuckled nervously, scratching her mane. "Heh, funny thing about that. They were real all along, but I accidentally cast some crazy mind control spell that made everypony forget all about them for years. Well, except for some mare who remembered enough to write the Dusklight books. Boy, I sure wouldn't want to be her right now!"

A smoke bomb exploded on the far side of the stage, and Crystal, Straight Edge, Jasper, and Snarl trotted out to loom over the other Windy. "There she is!" shouted Crystal. "The pony who wrote all of those awful stories about us!"

A Diamond Dog in a nice suit joined them, the same lawyer who'd hounded Shining Armor's role-playing-game-creating friends. "We're suing you for eleventy billion bits. You'll be able pay them back by ceasing your libel and writing true and accurate biographies, starting with the life and times of Nightpony Count Cold Porridge, who stayed faithfully married to his wife and never so much as looked at another mare... for nine hundred years."

"Why are you suing me?" wailed the Windy on stage. "Starlight's the one who cast that spell!"

Starlight laughed. "Oh, I never get punished for misusing magic, not really. Good luck with the new novel!"

"Ugh, enough!" said the Windy Whisper in the audience, and Luna obligingly ended the scene and brought the curtains down. "It just gets sillier from here." She chuckled, flopping back in her seat. "You don't know what a relief it was, waking from that nightmare and remembering that my creations are 100% fictional, and I can keep writing them any way I want!"

Luna's warm smile froze, just for an instant.

Windy's eyes narrowed. "Princess? What aren't you telling me?"

In the next dream over, Sweetie Belle was finishing up the final frosting flourishes on the perfect recreation of her ancestor's famous hundred-layer cake, when an ear-piercing "Whaaaaaat!?" made the whole cake collapse, burying half of Ponyville. "Oh, come on!"

In yet another dream, Prince Blueblood was flirting with attractive young mares at a fancy dress ball, promising them some private entertainment in his chambers, but three times in a row, he got the girl there and kissed her, only for her to unzip her head and turn out to be an affectionate Alisa in a costume. "Why?" he roared at her. "What do you want from me?"

"Blueblood doesn't know," said dream-Alisa, wagging her tail. "She went out of her way to be nice. Alisa's interested in Blueblood, even pup could see it, but what does she want? What's her game?"

"There you are, darling!" exclaimed dream-Rarity, levitating a butterfly net and a large cake. She batted her obviously false eyelashes at him. "I know. Let's talk."

Blueblood rubbed his eyes, trying to blot Alisa and Rarity both out. "I hate my subconscious sometimes." Then the whole dream-palace shook and groaned as if an Ursa Major had taken a bite of it. "Oh, what now?"

Blueblood galloped back to the ballroom and skidded to a halt. The dream-party guests had vanished, and a whole wall had been torn out, flooding the room with moonlight. Blueblood tried to shield himself with his hooves, but dream or not, he couldn't stop himself from growing into the huge white wolf again, tearing his way free of yet another set of expensive pony-sized clothes.

Mocking laughter echoed through the shattered hall. A mare stood before him, where nopony had been a moment before, so shrouded in her cloak and mask that he could make out none of her features. For some reason, a scroll hovered beside her, with an animated feather quill constantly writing. "There are you," she purred. "Wolfpony!"

Blueblood sighed in a great huff. "Auntie Luna?" his voice growled. "Whatever I did, I'm most regretfully sorry, so if you could see your way to getting me out of this dream... sometime soon?"

"You should be sorry!" said the mystery mare. "Luna favors me this night, not you. How dare you masquerade as one of MY wolfponies?"

Blueblood rubbed his forehead with a paw, feeling a headache coming on. "And you are..."

She drew herself up, leathery wings spread. "I? I am Lady Midnight Heart, the Nightpony Queen!" She leveled a hoof at him. "And you've taken something that doesn't belong to you!"

"Midnight Heart?" He chuckled. "Seriously? That Midnight... THE Midnight Heart? Of course, why not!? However, I believe you'll find that I was given this form by a literal Act of Discord, so good luck getting it back now, even if I wanted to give it up.. Which I don't! So there." He folded his forepaws and turned his head, snorting.

A flare of stolen magic forced him to look at her, and even bow, which got Blueblood snarling.

"Discord or not," declared Midnight Heart, "none will wear the form of one of my creations unless I deem them worthy!" She laughed again, and thunder crashed for good measure.

"Oh goody," said Blueblood dryly. "A test of my worthiness. Well, go on, let's get this over with. I have a lot of nice, boring tax legislation to dream about. What's it going to be? Death by tedious overwrought romantic triangle?"

Midnight Heart trotted closer, glaring up at him nose to nose. "So insolent, even when your future is in my hooves. Hah! Perhaps you do have a wolfpony's spirit! You shall have a trial by combat."

She gestured imperiously, and a vaguely familiar orange earth pony appeared. "Ya'll called mah family's apple pies ‘common carnival fare.' Prepare to die."

Blueblood the wolf blinked at dream-Applejack. "Oh. That doesn't seem so bad."

Midnight Heart stroked her chin. "I agree. Let's infuse her with kirin blood to make it more interesting." Mists rose, then cleared away, revealing a wagon-sized orange and gold dragon with scales like polished brass.

"You've got to be... ahh!!" Blueblood sprang aside, dodging fiery breath that smelled of baked apples. "So sorry, miss, but I believe I need to be elsewhere... urgently!" He waved a paw, wiggling his toes griffon-style, then turned tail and raced away into the castle corridors.

Windy Whisper grinned behind her mask, then pointed, and the kirin went tearing through the dream after him. "I suppose I'll have to credit him for helping me with this writer's block. Ah well!"

Session 59.5 Kendell2

"Aww..." said dog Spike, looking at the screen.

"What is it, Spike?" asked the human Twilight, as she, Rarity, and Pinkie's online friend Screwball (who despite apparently knowing Crystalsoft's office fairly well, didn't seem to be anyone they knew, but they'd all assumed she was the human Discord's daughter, since the Equestrian version was apparently his creation) playing a minigame where they raced by riding huge bouncy balls of all shapes and sizes through the Rainbow Castle. She liked the strategy, as while being quite simple in concept, it had a bit of strategy with timing the bounces for maximum height and distance.

"I tried to make a family portrait at the family castle and ran out of room!"

Pony Twilight blinked, looking over. "You have that much family?"

"I'm a dog," was Spike's simple reply. "I have like six twin siblings...I think...I wasn't sapient at the time...by the way, that was really weird. Like one second I was thinking 'Chase! Chase! Chase chase!' and then I was thinking...well, about a lot of stuff...By the way, any chance we can give these two dogs I know a blast of Fluttershy's magic and make them like me?"

"...One blue, the other grayish scarlet, and neither gets along with each other unless it's for your sake?" human Twilight asked.

"Yeah..." Spike replied, looking a little lonely. "I can understand them, but sometimes they act like I'm a human giving them commands not another dog...Which was actually kinda fun with this one red dog that picks on me. I ordered him to nuzzle every dog in the neighborhood on the way home and not explain why. Hehe..."

"...We'll...think about it," said pony Twilight, it occurring to her that she'd never considered the little pup might feel similar feelings of not fitting in as her Spike did, but unlike her Spike he had plenty of other dogs but none of them like him. "...Maybe instead of putting your biological siblings, you could put your Twilight and Shining as your siblings?"

Spike blinked, giving it a thoughtful look. "...Huh...hadn't thought about that..."

Pony Twilight admitted that at times, she saw Spike more like a son, but for obvious reasons that wouldn't work as a public thing for them in the human world.

Spike did just that, setting his Twilight as a big sister and their family was automatically set in from when Twilight had done it when she'd approved it following the race. "...That'll work..." he said, him and his former owner now best friend sharing a smile.

Session 59.6 Kendell2

"You sure you want to do this, G?" asked the human Rainbow Dash, the group currently at Gilda's house. Which was part of a junk yard.

"Getting a talking dog? I'm find with that," Gilda replied with a smirk. "Besides, Ember's been a lot more friendly since he's been hanging around here. But why didn't you try doing this with AJ's dog?"

"Cause mah Granny would freak out and Ah don't trust Applebloom not tah let it slip," Applejack replied. "That and apparently Winona's Equestrian self is still a dog, so we don't know it'll work."

"Oh...so what's Ember?" Gilda asked.

"Current Lord of the Dragons," said pony Twilight.

"...Cool..."

Rarity gave a shudder, looking around. "Did we have to come to you, darling? No offense, but this seems unsanitary..."

The other girl gave a laugh. "You think it's bad now? You should've seen it before I decided to fix it up. My grandpa Gruff really let the place go and it was more of a garbage dump than a junk yard..." she said, looking around. "We're selling scrap now, you'd be surprised how much some people will pay for that stuff..."

"So where's Ember?" Spike asked, looking around.

Gilda gave a whistle. "Ember! Here girl!" she called, prompting a blue dog to come dashing out of the junk. She gave a growl at what she saw as intruders. "They're fine, Ember."

After Ember settled down, she and Spike began barking to each other.

"What are they saying?" Applejack asked.

"Spike's asking her if she wants to learn to talk like him..." said Fluttershy.

"How do you know?" asked Gilda, raising an eyebrow.

"I can talk to animals," she said, letting several birds land on her arms.

"...Right..."

"It's Fluttershy's magic that lets us do this," human Twilight said, reading a machine resembling her mana collector, though heavily modified. In this case, it was incapable of actually holding in mana, merely drawing it outwards...no one wanted a repeat of Midnight Sparkle.

"Ah...well could she do something about this skunk that's hauled up under this old car?" Gilda asked. "Ember keeps getting sprayed trying to chase it off and I'm not getting near the dang thing."

Fluttershy nodded and Gilda lead her away while Spike barked things out with Ember.

Meanwhile, a red dog about Ember's size, though much bulkier, and three other dogs peaked over the edge of a mound of scrap, listening in.

The big red dog barked something to his fellows.

They barked back in confusion.

He gave a series of annoyed barks, in his imagination the image of using 'the voice of the masters' to command an army of dogs and rule the junk yard.

The others barked back and wagged their tails.

"Alright, Ember's game," Spike replied. "Thanks for doing this, Twilight."

"It's fine Spike...I know more than anybody how lonely it can be to be the odd one out..." said the human Twilight. "Alright, I'm ready."

"And I got the skunk..." said Fluttershy, holding it in her arms and petting it. Everybody took a step back and Spike had to stop Ember from barking or snarling at it. "Don't worry, it won't spray so long as it feels safe..."

"Okay..." said Sci Twi. "Alright, Fluttershy, pony up..." she said, stepping so that Ember was between them."

Fluttershy glowed, familiar ears, wings, and long tail sprouting.

Ember's eyes went wide and she barked something to Spike.

"You get used to it," Spike replied. "Now hold still..."

Twilight began using the device to draw magic from Fluttershy, making sure the stream of it hit Ember, causing the dog to give a surprised yip and eyes to go wide.

The red dog barked and he and his cohorts came running, snarling and growling.

Spike gasped. "It's Garble!"

"Darn it! It's those stupid strays that are always causing trouble around here!" Gilda said, looking at them and looking around for something to scare them off with.

Applejack recognized the dog as one of the ones that harassed her chickens a few times and even destroyed some of their eggs, from the looks of it just because he could.

Fluttershy, being herself, took a step back from the charging, snarling dogs. The skunk in her arms sensed her distress and jumped down, turning its hindquarters in their direction, tail raised like a flag.

Garble noticed in time and leapt out of the way, while his cohorts got sprayed, leaving them whimpering and trying to rub off the awful smelling musk before running off yelping with their tails between their legs.

The lead dog continued to charge at the magic, not knowing WHAT it was, but knowing what it GAVE.

Spike leapt in front of the bigger red dog and gave a snarl. "What are you doing here, Garble?!" the purple dog barked.

"Me get voice of masters!" barked the larger dog. "Then all dogs listen to Garble!"

Spike gave several growls and barks. "You don't deserve it! You're a bad dog!"

Garble growled and lunged at Spike with a bite. The little dog dodged and stuck out his tongue for a raspberry. The red dog growled and lunged at him with a snap of his jaws as Spike dodged...then ran at the magic, coming within a few inches when Spike tackled him with as much force as his little body could manage.

Ember swayed back and forth, the blue dog a bit disorientated, the magic snaking its way back into Fluttershy. "Ugh...what was...wait..." she said, eyes going wide. "AH! I REALLY AM TALKING!" she then blinked, looking around. "AH! WHAT ARE ALL THESE WEIRD COLORS EVERYWHERE?!...HOW DO I KNOW WHAT COLORS ARE?! AND WHY DO I CARE?!"

"Spike!" yelled Twilight, Garble having pinned him down teeth bared, causing Ember to snap around and look. She prepared to put her telekinesis to use when Ember tackled Garble off and rolled, managing to kick him off with her hind legs.

"Leave him alone you jerk!" Ember yelled, glaring daggers and snarling.

Garble snarled...then noticed himself surrounded not only by two other dogs, but by the humans, Gilda holding a piece of metal bar threateningly and the strange purple human (well one of them) somehow lifting a piece of trash off the ground with her mind, seeming rather angry he'd been mean to her dog.

"Me get voice of masters! Me no stop!" the red dog barked...then blinked, noticing the skunk standing next to him, tail raised.

"Me *cough* be back!" gagged Garble, the red dog running off with his tail between his legs and stinking to high heavens.

Ember gagged, putting a paw over her nose as the skunk jumped back into Fluttershy's arms. "Huh, that stinky thing actually came in handy..."

Spike nodded, reacting much the same. "Yeah...so...how do you feel?"

"...Kinda weird...And suddenly realizing how stupid it was to keep chasing the stripped thing when it kept making me smell bad every single time...Hey, what's that?" she asked, pointing to a leaf with a paw.

"A leaf..."

"Huh? Then why isn't it gray?" Ember asked, cocking her head.

"Oh! You can see green now!" Spike replied with a chuckle. "Forgot that part. There's two more colors you can see now...and a few others that are mixs of them. You get used to it."

"Oh...Man this is more complicated than I thought it was going to be..." Ember said, before wagging her tail as Gilda came over and scratched her behind the ears.

"It always is, especially since you can think about how complicated it is..."

"...Like how it just occurred to me that when I chase my tail I'm chasing a part of my own body?"

"Yep...wanna learn how to play World of Hoofcraft?" Spike asked.

"Yeah!"

"Uh...sure..."

Session 59.7 Mtangalion

Fluttershy gasped softly. "Oh my! Who's this?" Napping on Gilda's porch was the biggest bulldog that any of them had ever seen, on this side of the mirror, at least.

"That's Torch," said Gilda with a touch of pride. "Don't worry, he won't bite anything off, so long as..." Her eyes widened. "Whoa, whoa, what are you doing?!"

Fluttershy was scratching his ears. "Who's a good boy? You are! Yes you are, Torch! You're a good boy, aren't you?"

Torch gave her an indignant look, rumbling deep in his chest, and then he wagged his tail and gave Fluttershy's whole hand a long messy slurp.

Princess Twilight smiled. "Let me guess. Ember is one of Torch's pups?"

Gilda blinked. "How'd you figure that? Nobody ever believes me when I tell them."

Twilight scratched the back of her neck. "Let's just say, you shouldn't let him hop through any portals to Equestria. You might have a hard time getting him back again."

Ember came bouncing along, bumped right into Torch's side, and started pawing at him. "Dad! Hey, dad, I can talk now! Dad?! Dad, dad, dad..."

Torch only yawned massively and rolled over, trying to resume his morning snooze facing the other way.

Meanwhile, Gilda edged over towards Rainbow Dash, clearing her throat. "So... since you came all this way out here..." She griffoned up, sprouting large wings and a lion tail in a wash of bronze light. "Wanna have a little race?"

"Do I!" shouted Dash, ponying-up on the spot.

Gilda smirked. "Cause I kinda mighta put together a little obstacle course and... Oh, you said yes already? Heh, I should have known that saying ‘race' was all the sales pitch I needed. How about the rest of you guys? Flutters?"

"Oh, no thank you," said Fluttershy, sitting on the porch and trying to scritch Torch, Ember, and Spike all at once with only two hands.

"I'm game," said Sunset, with a confident grin. "I've been waiting for a chance to stretch my wings. Pun 100% intended!"

"I suppose I could," said Princess Twilight sheepishly. "I know I'm no match for any Rainbow Dash when it comes to flying, though."

Several of them looked expectantly at the human Twilight. "What? Oh! Heh, heh... I keep forgetting I can do that now..."

Session 59.8 Devcon101

Many years ago...

Sweetie Drops, agent of a secret organization that worked under the queen of the land, hung from shackles, chained to one of the walls in the cell she had been confined to.

The cell was dimly lit; no windows had been built in, and the only light was the soft glow of a dying torch on the wall across from her prison. It was just enough to see the unpleasant sight of another pony shackled on the wall across from her; this pony, however, was nothing more than dusty bones, a skeleton of a former captive left down here to rot.

The sounds of clacking die, murmurs and hoots of victory could be heard from a table set up somewhere in the wider room, as the guards played a game of dice with one another, something to break up the monotony of standing around and guarding what, from she could assess, was only one mare.

One stallion picked up his bottle of rum and took a long swig, grumbling to himself.

"Y'know, why don't we just kill the little missy? It'd save us a lot o' trouble in the long run."

"Because, boss says he wants ‘er for the black market slave trade. Says a lot o' unicorn nobles would be willin' ta' buy a nice lump of sugar like ‘er for a hefteh price" another replied, not sounding so pleased himself.

"Bah! Slave trade's a buncha hogswash! ‘Less she's perfect, those witches ‘ll pass ‘er by like yesterday's news. I say we end ‘er now; them hell hounds the boss got ‘ve been gettin' mighty hungry after all." The first took another swig, before tossing an empty bottle off, which smashed against the wall.

"Sure. Go right ahead. But you'll be the one ‘splainin' yourself to the boss when ‘e finds out ya went ‘n stabbed em' in the back." The first was quiet, before mumbling something seemingly in agreement as they got back to their game.

Sweetie stared down at the ground as a rat scurried past, trying to formulate an escape plan, when all of a sudden the sound of pottery breaking could be heard; from the faint volume, one would estimate it came from outside the room. There was mumbling from the guards.

"Eh, Frankie, go check ‘dat out, would ya?"

"...Ya sure? Last time I went ‘n checked I nearly got my head sliced off by ‘dat orc raider. Lucky ‘e only got the top of my mane; even then it took weeks ‘ta grow back."

"Frankie, none of us care ‘bout your fears or fashion sense. Just go check it out. It's probably just ‘dat weird foal in that green tunic breakin' our pots...again."

There was a pause, before a door could be heard creaking open. Then there was silence. A long silence.

"...Frankie?" One of them called out, only to get no response. Another muttered a curse under their breath. "Okay, somethin's out ‘dere. Mitch, you n' Roselade go investigate."

"Wait, why don't you go?" The stallion chuckled.

"Do you realleh think I'M gonna go out ‘ere? There might actualleh BE somethin'."

Murmurs could be heard, before the sounds of a struggle could be heard as Mitch and Roselade seemingly forced the other out into the hall.

"Well, that takes care o' ‘dat."

The silence that followed this was even greater. Eventually, the sound of the door could be heard opening again.

"Mitch, it got dark." There was an irritated sigh.

"No kiddin', idiot! We're underground!"

"No, no, I don't mean that. I mean, this isn't regular darkness. This is some kinda "advanced darkness.""

"Darkness can't get advanced you numbsku-"

The guard was cut short as the sound of something stabbing into him could be heard, and then a thump as he dropped. The other guard let out a girly scream, before the same happened to him, though with a softer thud as he seemingly fell on the other.

Sweetie Drop turned her head to the cell door, where now, walking silently into view, was another mare dressed in ninja garb; Love Tap, one of the best ninjas in the business. She spoke not a word as she tapped the door, a specially crafted silent knock spell taking effect as the door swung open. Sweetie smiled as Love Tap entered and freed her from her shackles. She hopped back down to all fours, brushing some dust off herself with one hoof as Love Tap pulled out her weapons and held them out to her, which Sweetie grabbed, giving a grateful smile.

"Thanks for the save. Now, let's get out of this place. I'm almost getting used to the smell down here" she said with a smile, Love Tap nodding as the two exited, moving past two guards, each killed with a well-placed shuriken to the chest.

-

Sweetie and Love Tap entered the bar of the inn used as a front by the boss of Sweetie's captors as a front for his more nefarious deeds. Conveniently, no patrons were currently within; just thugs, thieves, a few hell hounds, and the boss, a large ogre with a monocle and a long, twirly mustache (as if it couldn't be more obvious he was evil). He gave a laugh.

"Well well well, what have we here?" Sweetie and Love Tap glared alike.

"Garkunger, by the order of the queen you are under arrest for illegal slave trade in the black market, the raiding of several trade caravans along the epona road, several accounts of murder, and the unlicensed breeding of hell hounds, as well as kidnapping and imprisoning an officer of her majesty. Stand down before I have to use force" The troll looked at them, before laughing even more.

"Oh, you really think you puny little ponies could take in Garkunger? HAH! Garkunger hasn't heard anything that funny since...since...however long it's been since Garkunger has heard anything that funny. Garkunger doesn't bother keeping track." He stood up, cracking his knuckles.

"Wench, another beer! Garkunger can't go crushing puny ponies with a parched throat." A female bartender nodded, pouring him a mug, oddly lingering for but a moment after, before heading to the counter and sliding it down to him. He grinned, grabbed it in a meaty fist, and raised it to his mouth, drinking it all in one gulp. He threw it aside, the mug shattering, before wiping his mouth with one arm and drawing his sword with another.

"Now, Garkunger ends puny pe-" Garkunger was cut short as he suddenly began coughing, falling to his knees as he clutched his chest. He spat out a glob of green blood, before with a final groan of pain fully collapsed, dead. The bartender gave a chuckle.

"Should have listened to doctors when they said drinking was bad for you, dearie." The two looked over to her, weapons still drawn, only for her to reach to her neck and begin
to pull of something that at first didn't seem to be there, appearing only once it was taken off. It was an amulet of disguise, and upon her removing it, an image overlaid upon her dissipated, revealing none other than the head of the baker's guild and, in secret, master assassin, Sicklysweet Polomare, an old ally of Sweetie and Love Tap's.

-

"SICKLY! IT'S ALMOST 2 IN THE MORNING! YOU NEED TO GET TO BED!"

The Oubliette Master, a much younger Sicklysweet, groaned.

"MMKAY MOM! I'LL BRING IT TO A CLOSE!" She turned to the players, a much younger Sweetie Drops and Love Tap, sighing.

"Sorry dearies. We're gonna have to end it here tonight." Sweetie and Love Tap gave disappointed groans in response but began packing up their stuff.

"Did you really have to have the OMPC save the day?" Sweetie asked, putting on her saddlebag.

"You were still too weak to have faced him, dearie." Love Tap raised a brow.

"An ogre? Would've been a breeze for us at this level, with its measly 4 hit die. Or was it an ogre chieftain? But even then..."

"It was an ogre chieftain I gave a power boost to, dearie." Love Tap nodded, putting on her saddlebag. The two walked out the door, Sickly coming to the door and waving goodbye.

"See you in a week, dearies! Be safe, mmkay?!" Love Tap gave a sly smile.

"Being a ninja of my ability, I should be wishing you that!"

Sicklysweet chuckled, closing the door as she trotted back in, wishing her mother goodnight as she trotted up the stairs to her room. Love Tap, a ninja? HA! About as ridiculous as Sweetie Drops being an actual secret agent, or her...well, she could see herself as an assassin...HA! As if.

Near the top of the stairs, she not only let out a big sneeze, but also got the odd feeling of being completely wrong. Eh, probably nothing...

Session 59.9 Kendell2

Puppy Spike sat at the lap top, both of them in Gilda's room while Ember was at Gilda's computer. It'd been some time later, since there were some things ember naturally had to learn about being a sapient creature.

"Hey Spike, I found something out," the blue dog said, trying to get used to sitting in such a way to type with her front paws.

"What?" Spike asked, looking over.

Ember looked over at Gilda's mirror on the wall, namely herself in it. "The other dog in the mirror is me!"

The little purple dog gave a chuckle, remembering when he figured it out. "Yep."

"Why didn't I realize it before?! It's so obvious!" Ember said, moving and watching herself move with her.

"Hehe, welcome to being self aware..." Spike replied with a smirk. "Alright, so what's your screen name going to be?"

Ember turned back to the computer and cocked her head. "Screen name?"

"Yeah, what you'll go as in World of Horsecraft."

"Ember..." Ember said, typing it in. "Huh, this name is in use?"

"Oh, yeah, somebody already took it," Spike replied. "Had the same problem with mine...Try something else that fits you or describes you. I'm Purple_Pup. You can make your character's name Ember though."

"Describes me...It says 'Word not allowed'..."

Spike peaked over and his eyes widened. "Ember! You can't use that word!"

Ember cocked her head innocently. "Why? I'm a blue female dog..."

"Yeah, but humans consider the...second word of that a 'bad word' when used for anything OTHER than a female dog, surprised Gilda ever USED it around you..."

"Oh...Gilda says lots of words Fluttershy says I shouldn't say..."

"Fluttershy is right. Gilda's a potty mouth sometimes."

His fellow sapient dog gave a raised eyebrow. "She drinks out of the toilet too? I've never seen her..."

Spike couldn't help giving a laugh. "No, she cusses a lot."

Ember sighed, giving a frustrated whimper. "I will never understand humans...Alright then...Blue Dog...that one didn't work either!"

"Put an underscore between the words."

"...Underwhat? Is that like underwear?...Which apparently we're not supposed to chew on?"

Spike came over and pressed the underscore key to turn it to Blue_Dog. "There."

"Okay...Alright, we're in...What are all these weird things?" asked the blue dog, looking over the race select screen.

"Those are the races you can be."

"...Do they have dogs?"

"No, but they have Crystal Wolves," Spike said with a smirk.

"...So like those big dog thingies you showed me when introducing me?" Ember asked, raising an eyebrow. "Except made of crystal?"

"Nah, think big wolves who live in cold places and can disguise themselves, they're kinda cool!"

"Then why are they called crystal wolves?!"

Spike sighed. "This is gonna take awhile..."

Session 59.10 Grogar-The-Oneser (with addition by me)

"Uggh, where are we...?" Adagio grumbled.

"I think were in a basement chained up." Aria said.

"Oh like that movie with that mask guy, you know the one where adagio screamed like a little girl."

"I did not screamed like a little girl!" Adagio snapped ".... the mask design just creeped me out."

"yeah well your day about to get worse." All three turn to see Sci-Twi and to there shock, what looks a Discord, and they can sense it was the Equestria one.

"W-what are you doing here!" Adagio yelled.

"'I don't remember anything', really?" Twilight said.

"'Betray by a bigger bad' only works if it was hinted and shows how nasty the new guy is. Or at least underestimate some obvious red flags." Discord muttered that last part under his breath.

"Wait what about my excuse?" Aria asked.

"Uggh, trust me, its such a split issue with fans of this fandom its annoying, oh what I would give for Stargate version of the things, at least then I don't have to worry about stirring a base-breaker." Discord muttered.

"Point is, none of your stories match up and only a idiot will not realize... especially yours." Twilight said "I mean seriously, if your going to use one excuse at least make sure they match."

"Alright so you got it, but you can't torture us." Adagio stated

"No but we can make you suffer." Discord said pulling 'Manos and the Hand of Fate' while Sci-twi pulled out Plan 9 from Outer Space'.

"FFFFU-

(1 hour later)

Both Sci-Twi and Discord were playing craps. "You don't think we were too harsh, do you?

"Nah, at least one of them will be enjoying it."

meanwhile both Adagio and Aria were developing a twitch in there eyes as Sonata pretended to be that robot from that show that reviews bad movies. 'I hate them both so much!' Adagio thought.

-

"So you see after we were corrupted by rogue Equestrian magic and we were then infected by alien parasites. And so after we were betrayed by Rabia, and not the other way around of course, the alien parasites left our bodies, we lost all memories of what happened."

"Makes sense," EG!Rainbow Dash said, looking up from her issue of Radiance, the 'Radiant Twilight' storyline.

Sunset groaned.

Session 59.11 Mtangalion

Ember pawed at the plastic round thing... the mouse, causing her Diamond Wolf warrior to charge at the next moose. A few quick blows and a special attack brought the prey down, and the {Collect snow moose flanks 2/7} words under {Food for the Pack} changed to 3/7. "I understand so many new things now," she mused. "My head's spinning, like when I chase my tail... why did I used to do that?"

Spike chuckled. "Because it's fun! Being smart doesn't mean we can't still do things that are just for fun." He guided his priest alt, a Luna's Witness of course, to Blue_Dog's side and cast a quick heal. "Like playing World of Horsecraft! There's a saying... On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog."

Ember turned away from the bright picture box... the monitor, she corrected herself, looking at the real Spike directly. "The Internet..."

Spike nodded. "That's what lets us play this game with humans, even though they're far away."

Ember scratched a floppy ear with her hind paw while she puzzled this out. "And we're dogs." Her face lit up. "So we can play games with humans, and they don't know we're dogs! That's really smart!"

Spike grinned back at her. "I know, right? Twilight always says I'm missing the point, but it seems pretty simple to me."

Just outside, Rainbow Dash went flying past with Gilda in hot pursuit, fast enough to rattle the windows, but the two dogs had already had their fill of peering out the window and turning their heads back and forth to follow the race. "Let's do this one next!" said Ember suddenly. "What does it mean, group quest?"

"It means we need more players," Spike explained. "Just click the button, and the game will find more people doing the quest automatically."

The game made a suitably dramatic ker-thunk sound, and text scrolled up their chat windows. Since they were still in the Diamond Wolf starting zone, the new arrivals were naturally fellow wolves.

{BestAlpha has joined the party.}
{RoverTheDOG has joined the party.}
{Duke_BlueScruff has joined the party.}

RoverTheDOG sprinted ahead of the group, engaging the first two Umbrum Night Stalkers by himself. "If they have any gems, they're mine!"

BestAlpha did a /facepaw emote. "Rover sure knows how to act like greedy no good dog, alright. Get back here, form line! Warrior tanks, make sure healer is safe!"

Duke_BlueScruff waved at the crowd of enemies closing in on them. "Parley! I say, I wish to parlay!"

"I... don't think this is that kind of game," typed Spike. He looked to Ember, paw-shrugging. "I had no idea people were so into role-playing on this server."

Session 59.12 Devcon101

Twilight read over the slip of paper Trixie had given her. It was a spell Trixie had homebrewed and wanted to use in the game, and Twilight had agreed to it as long as it was balanced and not game breaking. She had expected some sort of grand illusion spell or enchantment spell, knowing the showmare's love of tricks, but rather...

"Well, it looks balanced, but...come on. Really?" She held the sheet to Trixie and pointed at the name of the spell: "Trixie's Teacup Transformation?"

"What's wrong with wanting to turn my foes into harmless teacups?"

Twilight sighed.

"Trixie, the teacup thing is beginning to get out of hoof."

Trixie frowned.

"My therapist said the same thing...before I turned him into a teacup."

Twilight blinked.

"You WHAT?!"

Trixie smiled and gave a slight chuckle.

"Just a joke, Sparkle, relax. Trixie's wagon is too full of transmogrified teacups to have held him anyway."

Twilight frowned.

"How many teacups did you make?"

Trixie tapped her chin a bit in thought.

"I stopped counting at around...1,850."

Trixie gave a guilty grin as Twilight raised a brow.

"What are you even planning to do with all those teacups?"

Trixie shrugged.

"I don't know! Sell them?...Well, actually..."

Later...

"Teacups! Teacups! Get your wonderful, amazing, stupendous, glorious, utterly gorgeous, Trixie Lulamoon made teacups here!"

Session 59.13 Kendell2

"Wait Wait wait, what?!" asked Rainbow Dash, the group seated at a gaming table.

They were currently playing a game where they were trying to save Equus from a group of alien tyrants who'd tried to destroy it thousands of years ago and been repelled, only to have to deal with them again, with one of their party members being the half pony child of the leader of a rebellion against them...

Long story short, they'd ended up on a weird pony space zoo (not to be confused with a space pony zoo) and ended up having to hide from two of them in a room (being hopelessly outclassed against ONE of them, let alone BOTH)...when something strange happened.

"She starts singing to her sister about how much they miss the one that the rebel leader killed a thousand years ago but need to move on because there's no use in feeling blue (leaving it up to you whether she means the emotion or her sister's name), then nearly breaks down herself showing she's not moved on as well as she looked like she did," Twilight explained. "In other words, her desire to destroy Equus is a futile attempt to prevent herself from thinking about the place her sister died and escape her pain."

The room was silent, Fluttershy started crying, but Applejack stopped her from having her character expose herself to comfort them.

"...Just so we're clear, they STILL want to destroy Equus?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Yes," Twilight replied evenly.

"And they're STILL tyrannical despots?"

"Yes, in fact the room is filled with the rebellion leader's entire race stuck in stasis lock who her sister's desire to keep their dead sister's things as she left them is the only reason that's as bad as they did to them. All for just being the same RACE."

"But...but..."

"Also, if they catch you, they can and will probably kill you all as horribly as possible without a second thought," Twilight said unhesitatingly. "But they DID genuinely love their sister and ARE genuinely heartbroken and in morning over her death."

"...Was the rebel leader secretly evil?"

"Nope, you really think I'd go with THAT cliche?" Twilight asked, almost insulted.

"...UGH! Great, now I feel sorry for the psychos!"

"Good!" Twilight said with a cheerful smile. "Also, if you don't escape the room before they finish, you're going to die. Horribly."

Session 59.14 Kendell2

Rainbow Dash, still a roadrunner in the Animania, dashed down the road at high speed. "Okay, where are you Zephyr..." she muttered, then noticed up ahead.

He was waiting alongside the road with a giant slingshot, already tensed and ready to launch. She noticed something up ahead that put a smile on her beak before speeding past him.

"You can't escape my love, Rainbows!" the turquoise coyote called, letting go and launching himself after her. He flew through the air, arms extended to grab Rainbow. He got close to the Roadrunner...right as she turned a corner. He watched her race of. "...Dang it..." he muttered, still flying forwards. He then blinked, passing a sign reading 'Cactus Farm Ahead'. "Huh?" he asked, then looked ahead...eyes going so wide they popped out of his head in a cartoonish fashion as he saw said cactus farm up ahead.

He screamed as he went crashing through the cactus farm.
"Ow...ow...ow...ow..." muttered Zephyr, emerging from the farm, covered head to toe in cactus spikes.

Rainbow chuckled. "MEEP MEEP!" she honked, dashing off. "Man, I can't believe the others are missing this!"

"Twilight, are you sure this is a good idea?" asked Applejack, the group all hiding in wait down the path they knew Rarity and her pursuer would be dashing down.

"Of course," Twilight said, giving a smirk, a box set up as a trap in the alley way. "Rarity dashes by, we pull the rope, and the skunk gets caught! Simple!"

"...Okay..." said Applejack.

"Come back, Mademoiselle! We are made for each other!" called the skunk's voice.

"Here they come!" Twilight said, the group falling into cover.

"No we are not!" Rarity shreeked, dashing along as fast as she could as the skunk just bounced along after her. "Why is it that the stallions I WANT to notice me are either self absorbed jerks or in love with somepony else and THIS is who won't leave me alone?!"

She ran past the group.

"...NOW!" Twilight called, pulling the rope and causing the box to fall, seemingly capturing the skunk in it.

"See?" Twilight asked, flying out and landing on top of it. "Done!" she said, proudly.

Applejack trotted out. "Huh, what do you know..." she said, then cringed at an odor hitting her nose and looking nearby. "...Uh...Twilight..."

Twilight blinked, looking over to see the skunk bouncing along towards them. She flew down and lifted the box, finding it empty. "Oops..."

The skunk bounced passed them and the rolls rang out.

"Double critical," Discord said.

The stench following the skunk promptly went straight up both their noses with the sound of a fog horn. The two were paralyzed for a few moments, going green in the face and eyes watering as the skunk just bounced past.

"...Twilight..." Applejack gagged, swaying back and forth. "Ah...Ah don't think that went accordin' tah plan...ugh..." she muttered, falling on her back with swirly eyes.

"It...It certainly didn't..." Twilight gagged out, then collapsed, eyes becoming swirls as well.

Fluttershy gave a sigh, watching from nearby. "...I hope Zephyr isn't giving Rainbow Dash too much trouble..."

Pinkie Pie looked around. "Huh, I wasn't involved in that gag at all..."

Almost on cue, a loud slam sounded nearby, causing Fluttershy to give a 'eep!' and jump up, followed by a cloud of pink stench with a fog horn sound.

Pinkie coughed and gaged, hooves clamped over her nose and eyes watering. "There we *cough* go!"

Fluttershy blushed brightly. "Oops..."

Session 59.15 Devcon101

(Potential major spoiler for D&D 5e's Rise of Tiamat campaign. Ye've been warned.)

Rainbow Dash gave a victorious cheer as her critical finally killed off the large dragon who had been blocking their exit from the tower of the mage.

Currently the group were going through O&O's new campaign series "The Desolation of Takhisis." (The fact it had been "The Desolation of Takhisis." in production was covered up as much possible). Apparently a cult that worshiped "the evil sister of Tiamat, Takhisis", who herself was a goddess of dragons as well, had been not only ransacking the kingdom to compose a hoard grand enough to satisfy the draconic deity, but also planned to spring her from Asmodequus' hellish prison and set her loose upon the material plane. To do so, they were planning to use the power of 5 magic items called the Dragon Helms, each one imbued with a portion of Takhisis' power. By merging all five helms into one, they could have enough power to open a rift strong enough to enable her escape.

So far the cult had all but one of the helms. The one helm had been stolen away by a mage that had formerly been in league with the cult, and taken to his private tower. They had gone to retrieve said mask to keep the cult's plans from coming even close to fruition, and after dealing with an enchanted hedge maze, a series of confusing teleportation circles, dealing with a powerful trapped efreeti, discovering a library that would make Twilight drool and fighting off a few members of the cult, they had snatched it.

Of course, the moment they got out a dragon, the same that had attacked their city in the very first chapter of the campaign series, had swooped down and demanded the helm be given over. The group was obviously not willing to just give it up, and so conflict had ensued.

"Finalleh got rid of ‘dat varmint!" Applejack smiled victoriously. "And got dat helm too! Now we just gotta get ridda that thing an' those no good crooks' plans ‘ll be ruined."

"Actually..." Twilight, who was playing the role of OM, perked up, "...it says here that after careful inspection, you find the helm is nothing more than a well crafted fake."

"Dun-dun-dun!" Pinkie exclaimed, if only for dramatic effect.

Rarity gave Twilight an odd look. "A fake? If it was a fake, wouldn't we have been able to know it somehow? Surely we would have at least sensed a lack of magic."

Twilight shook her head. "It says here you don't learn of it until after you fight the dragon. If there was a way to let you figure it out, I would have let you do it."

Rainbow Dash's face grew red. "AH COME ON! All that for nothing?!"

"I wouldn't call it nothing. You did get those rare magic tomes in the library."

Rainbow Dash's anger didn't dwindle. "Yeah, so?! The helm's still out there! We still accomplished virtually nothing storywise!"

Applejack nodded in agreement. "Ah'll admit, it does feel like a big ol' waste o' time."

Later, at the final council meeting before the climatic final fight against Takhisis...

Rarity was not happy.

"What do you mean a "Trarity Belle" that looks almost exactly like me stole the helm for the cult?! I can't believe they would put a cheap knockoff of me in as a villain, let alone a thief! Who's bright idea was this?!"

Elsewhere...

Suri Polomare read the section on the final council meeting in her own copy of Desolation of Takhisis, a devious grin on her face. It took her a few more bits spent in backing it than she'd have liked, but it was worth it.

Session 59.16 Kendell2

"Who comes up with some of this stuff..." asked the human Rainbow Dash, noting another new addition to Rainbows and Crystals. The Beta was almost ready, apparently the release version would be announced at the next con, but updates were happening up till then.

In this case, the update added a new NPC named Daffidazey who ran Petal Parlor, where you could change up your character's mane and tail style, as well as get accessories. However, one of the weirder features of this particular addition, was the ability to get your mane and tail washed with a special scented shampoo...which mainly only served to get various reactions from NPCs and change how your scent trail looked to Griffins.

The only times it really influenced gameplay was if you wore a particular pony's favorite scent on their birthday, which could get you extra friendship points (in fact doing big things for others on their birthday did that as is, such as the time the group all decided to change their houses temporarily to pink on Pinkie's birthday, which impressed the developers enough to make it an achievement), or to help get certain animals as pets that liked a particular scent.

"I did!" Pinkie Pie cheered. "I suggested it on the message board and the developer liked it!"

"Hmm..." said human Discord, looking at the suggestion board. "Scented shampoo to make your character smell different..."

"I'd like it, daddy!" said the AI Screwball.

"So do I! And one of the scents will be chocolate milk!...Though unlike in World of Horsecraft, it won't explode."

"Yay!"

"...That doesn't surprise me..." Rainbow Dash replied.

"Why? Because I wash my hair with cotton candy scented and flavored shampoo?"

"...Yes."

Sunset blinked. "Flavored?"

Pinkie Pie nodded. "It makes my hair taste like cotton candy!"

"...Why?"

"Because it's fun, silly!"

"I think it's a lovely feature, darling," said Rarity, flipping her hair. "After all, perfume and scented shampoo can compliment an outfit very well."

"It actually does kind of make sense," said pony Twilight. "Ponies DO have an acute sense of smell and this kind of thing is popular where I'm from."

Rainbow Dash shrugged. She then noticed her mother was online (she had an Admin account due to being a designer for the game)...and the date. She gave it some consideration, she'd already given her mother a card (and bought her some shoes)...oh, what the heck.

Rainbow Dash Sr. blinked, a message popping up. She clicked on it and found it was a gift, namely some ingame clothes.

'Happy Mother's Day, mom.' said the note.

The elder Rainbow Dash's eyes teared up a tiny bit and she smiled. 'Thank you, darling."

OOC: This is basically a play on how G3 seemed to love scented figures for some reason.

Session 59.17 Mtangalion

Rainbow Dash flew out of a clear evening sky and glided down towards a certain cave, one of many in a rocky cliff that overlooked Sweet Apple Acres. "Windy?" she shouted into the dark cave mouth. "Is everything okay? You gonna make it for Dusklight game night?"

Windy's voice came echoing back out of the cave. "Go away!"

"Nothing doing!" yelled Dash. "Princess Luna interrupted my nap to tell me you needed a friend, so that's what..." She trailed off, sniffing the air. There was a small pile of apple cores on the ground below. Dash darted downwards for a closer look, inhaling deeply. "Candy apples?" She flew back up to the cave mouth. "Is this the thestral version of eating a whole tub of ice cream?"

"I refuse to do the same thing that Rarity would do!" yelled Windy.

Dash grinned. "Rrrrright. I'm coming in." It got dark really quick past the cave mouth, though... Windy's lamps weren't on. Rainbow hesitated, then tried a trick that Soarin' had shown her. She struck her forehooves together, making a tiny spark, then fed wind magic into it, creating a tiny crackling ball of light.

The flickering shadows made the room a lot spookier than usual, which gave Windy the perfect opportunity to lunge at Rainbow from behind the sofa, hissing with fangs out and wings spread.

Rainbow yelped and fumbled the spark ball, plunging Windy's house into darkness again, but she stood her ground. "T- That doesn't scare me! I know thestrals don't bite pegasi to turn them into more thestrals!"

"I'd hope so," said Windy glumly. "Since I'm the one who explained that to you."

Rainbow blushed in the pitch darkness, scratching her mane with a hoof. She could vaguely sense the shape of the cavern by the wind currents, but she'd lost track of Windy again. "Will you at least tell me what's got you so down?"

Windy heaved a great sigh. "Fine." There was a rustling of paper, and Windy threw something. Rainbow blindly snatched it out of the air... a newspaper? Then Windy grudgingly lit one of the lamps and sprawled on a sofa. "Check the review columns."

Rainbow blinked, squinting in the sudden light, then spread the pages and flipped through today's issue of the Canterlot Chronicle with her wings. "Oh hey, that's the new Dusklight book coming out next week!" Her eyes grew wide as she continued to read the review. "More tripe for overimaginative fillies? ... My four-year old foal could write better!?"

The further Rainbow read, the more her blood boiled. She threw the newspaper down, grinding her teeth. "What a jerk! Who does this Mordant Cranberry pony think he is? I'll hoof him right in the jaw! Let's see how many crappy reviews he writes after I put ten thousand volts through his typewriter!"

Windy sprang up from the couch and put a hoof on Dash's shoulder before she could go flying off. "Whoa, whoa! Aren't you still on probation for that whole weather factory thing?"

Dash cringed. "Um, kind of? Just a little? Eh-heh!"

Windy smiled faintly, shaking her head. "It's okay, Dash. You don't need to go out of your way to defend me." She turned away, hanging her head. "I'm not worth it."

"Hey!" Dash trotted around Windy, looking her right in the eyes again. "Don't beat yourself up like that. It's just one jerk blowing hot air!"

"A critic, Dash! A professional." Windy paced away, then spun around, wings spread. "Somepony who's supposed to really know about writing, and he's not the only one either!"

Rainbow Dash smirked. "Have I told you about the time Rarity and Pinkie went to Canterlot? Turns out, all the stuffy important ponies in Canterlot were eating terrible food, just because of this one critic."

Windy actually smirked a bit at that. "That does sound like something they'd do." She hesitated. "Dash... You're my friend, right? You wouldn't lie to me. Am... am I a bad writer?"

Dash didn't hesitate a moment. "No way!"

Windy blinked. "But..."

"Lemme put it to you this way... I'm not just anypony here... I'm Rainbow Dash! I'm not a girly pony. I totally don't do romance and mushy stuff like that... but I like your books! I don't know how that happened exactly, and it's not something I'd brag about in the Wonderbolts' locker room, but I think your books are great! So do lots and LOTS of other ponies!"

Windy sat her hindquarters down, jaw hanging open.

"And... and maybe you just need to hear other ponies say that more often! With your day job being a big secret and all..."

"Night job," said Windy automatically.

"... you probably don't get to hear other ponies tell you in person that you rock, nearly as often as you should! Every now and then, I mean, not every five seconds!" Dash trailed off. "Am I making any sense here? I'm... not that great at the big dramatic speeches thing."

Windy sighed once more, then finally smiled. "Yeah. You know, you could be onto something."

Dash tilted her head. "Oh?"

"I can't even tell my own family that I'm really Midnight Heart, not unless I want to go totally public. I love them, but there's no way they'd be able to keep their mouths shut. That's why my dad thinks I must be writing top secret Night Guard tactical manuals or something." Windy rolled her eyes. "And my brother figures I'm writing straight up porn and don't want to admit it, and my mom thinks the whole writing career is just a cover story, and I'm really Princess Luna's... no, I can't even say it."

Rainbow giggled. "Trust me, I totally know where you're coming from on that."

"How?" asked Windy, confused.

"Er... I'll explain later! Right now, we've gotta fly, or we'll be late for the game. You up for it?"

Windy took a deep breath. "Heh, okay. Let's go secretly hang with my beloved fans. And Rarity."

A week later, Windy Whisper was home alone, unfolding the latest Canterlot Chronicle and going straight to the review columns again, despite a sense of creeping dread. The young thestral scanned the columns, made a sour face, and started to crumple up the whole paper.

Something caught her eye at the last second, though, made her smooth the paper back out again. There, on the opposite page from Mordant Cranberry's regular column. ‘Why I think Dusklight is actually pretty cool - An interview with Rainbow Dash'

Windy grinned. "Thanks, Dash."

Session 59.18 Alex Warlorn

Spike reading through his comics as Starlight took a swing at Dungeon Mastering (promising to NOT try to strangle Trixie if she drove things off the rails, again). He look aggravated by the back issues of Radiance, in particular 'Radiant Twilight.' "So wait, so Radiance went mad with grief when her home town was all turned to crystal, and the Protectors of the Universe refused to help her, so she went on a rampage against her fellow Bracelet Holders, and after the story arc they just retcon her to being possessed?! How can ponies just swallow this tripe?"

-

Princess Luna sneezed in her sleep.

Session 59.19 Kendell2

"So...your character is a rock troll..." said Twilight, sitting with the group for a game. Everything seemed balanced, so she allowed it.

"Yes..." said Maud in her typical way. "They share my affinity for rocks..."

"Makes sense..." Twilight commented.

"Her name is Sandstone...she likes igneous rock...she actually dislikes sand...and sandstone. Because it's too rough...and gets everywhere..." the grey Earth Pony replied. There was a beat. "...That was meant to be ironic..."

"Oh..."

"Because her name is Sandstone but she doesn't like sandstone..."

Pinkie Pie laughed. "Good one Maud!"

"Alright...clever if nothing else..."

"She's also a drummer...who uses rocks...I considered being a drummer once..."

Meanwhile in Mirror Equestria, Mirror Maud sneezed as she and her band practiced.

"Alright Maud, the dragon closes in on your group, what do you do?" asked Twilight later in the game.

Maud looked down at the board. "...Our area is in a canyon...I'm assuming there's plenty of rocks...Most likely limestone of some sort given the area..."

"Yes..." Twilight replied.

"...Sandstone throws a rock at him."

The group stared and blinked.

"...It was a big rock..."

Twilight did the proper rolls and blinked. "Critical hit...the Dragon is stunned, leaving it vulnerable..."

"...Never underestimate the power of rocks..." Maud said. "They were here long before we were and will be there long after we're gone. Right boulder?"

Boulder sat there.

"...He said yes...then started laughing maniacally..."

"...I'll take your word for it..." Twilight replied.

Session 59.20 Devcon101

“Two of Moon!”

“Two o’ Moon!”

“Hmm...Two of Moon, darling.”

“Ha! Two of Moon!”

Trixie watched Twilight and co as they played a card game reminiscent of the “Two of Moon” joke game she had played with Starlight and Discord.

“...Are you trying to mess with me?”

Twilight gave her an odd look.

“...We’re not trying to mess with you.”

Trixie raised a brow, rather confused.

“Then why...?” she asked, gesturing at the game they were playing.

Twilight continued her odd look, before it dawned on her.

“Oh! Somepony ended up making an actual game based on it. It’s rather confusing, but you get the hang of it quickly.”

Trixie blinked.

“Somepony actually made a game based on that?”

“Apparently. Now, where was I...? Ah yes, Two of Moon!”

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (please update)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 59.0 Kendell2
Session 59.1 Alex Warlorn
Session 59.2 Alex Warlorn
Session 59.3 Ardashir
Session 59.4 Mtangalion
Session 59.5 Kendell2
Session 59.6 Kendell2
Session 59.7 Mtangalion
Session 59.8 Devcon101
Session 59.9 Kendell2
Session 59.10 Grogar-The-Oneser (with addition by me)
Session 59.11 Mtangalion
Session 59.12 Devcon101
Session 59.13 Kendell2
Session 59.14 Kendell2
Session 59.15 Devcon101
Session 59.16 Kendell2
Session 59.17 Mtangalion
Session 59.17 Mtangalion
Session 59.18 Alex Warlorn
Session 59.19 Kendell2
Session 59.20 Devcon101

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Cover art by KcKreations

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

http://kckreations.deviantart.com/art/My-Legendary-Pony-Rarity-the-Sorceress-WIP-605984996

Session 60

Session 60.0 Kendell2

The human Pinkie Pie blinked. "Hey! I just got a message in Rainbows and Crystals!"

"So did I..." said Sunset. Everyone nodded.

They opened the message and read it...

'Dear (Screen Name)

Thank you for your feedback and betaing the game and exploring the creativity of the game.

And also for saving World of Horsecraft from a hacker (hope you enjoyed the capes).

As a sign of our gratitude, we would like to use your houses in the official trailer to debut at our upcoming convention to showcase the possibilities the game's free spirited nature allows.

Signed Radiant Hope."

Pinkie Pie's added an 'especially you, Pinkie Pie' before the creativity part.

"...I'm game for it," said Sunset.

The others nodded and all pressed yes.

Rainbow Dash rubbed her head. "Have we really been that creative?"

"Yah have a rainbow roller coaster surrounding your house," Applejack pointed out.

"Yeah, which is awesome!" said Rainbow.

"And I have a Ferris Wheel for my attic!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed with a grin.

"Wow...guess we've been having even more fun with this game than we expected," Sunset replied, giving a smile.

"Well it is relaxing...and more importantly innocent," Rarity said. "Unlike certain other games..." she said, looking at a certain teacher simulator game involving murder still sitting on Rainbow's desktop.

Radiant Hope smiled, sitting at her computer as she got the replies. "Glad this game will finally be loved..." she said, remembering how the first time around they'd tried it some of the Betas had been pretty harsh about it. It just needed a little refining was all and it had become something people could enjoy.

Session 60.1 Alex Warlorn

"BWAAHAHAH! Ie zhall destroy ze dam! Zen! Ie zhall save the city! And everyone vill call me, a heroooooo!!"

"Not so fast Dr. Spectrum!"

"MARE DO WELL!!!! VO VILL NOT STOP ME!!!"

"Oh yeah I wil!"

Mare Do Well heroically punched the super villain in the face, then the mighty masked mare swept up the explosive, and flew high into the sky, tossing the bomb even higher, where it exploded harmlessly, giving a show to the people of the city.

"YEAH MARE DO WELL! THE REAL HERO OF MARETROPOLIS!"

"NO! NO! IE AM ZE HERO!!!" Squirmed Dr. Spectrum after she'd been tied up, and given to the police.

Mare Do Well didn't stick around for fortune or fame, she merely slipped into the shadows, waiting for when she'd be needed once more.

-

"Wow! That new Mare Do Well comic is so exciting!" Rainbow Dash admitted emerging from the enchanted comic. "I wonder where they got the idea for that loud mouth show boating Dr. Spectrum though. I bet it was Trixie right?"

Session 60.2 JDMiles

Back in the Animania desert, roadrunner Dash continued to race across the landscape before stopping at a cliff, on the opposite the canyon was none other than Zephyr... wearing the Mare Do Well outfit.

"You're not getting away this time Dash, with this new superhero outfit I have the means and gadgets to finally catch you and sweep you off your feet!" The coyote proclaimed proudly.

"Oh, this oughta be good." Rainbow Dash smoked Dashi started munching on some popcorn. "Okay Zephyr, make me swoon." She mumbled sarcastically.

Zephyr smiled under his mask as he left off the edge and spread his cape. "Gliding Cape activate!" He called out as he fell, however nothing happened as he continued to plummet to the ground. "What the-activate! Activate, activate, ACTIVATE DAMN IT!!" He continued to scream as he plummeted to the bottom of the canyon, eventually crashing with a satisfying *poof*.

"Ah... sweet, sweet catharsis..." Rainbow Dash smirkedâ€‹ as she got up and started to stretch. However she heard some coughing and looked down to see her pursuer crawling out of the body-shaped hole.

"I don't get it! Why didn't it activate?!" Zephyr mumbled to himself, only for a piece of paper to flutter down from above onto his face. Pulling it off he read over it and his jaw dropped in irritation. "GLIDING CAPE NOT INCLUDED!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?"

"You really need to start reading the instructions on those things... and while you're at it get a refund." Rainbow Dash chuckled.

"No matter! I'll just use Plan B!" Zephyr shouted as he pulled out a grappling hook and fired it towards the top of the canyon. The hook latched itself between a few rocks and he immediately started pulling himself up... only for the hook to dislodge itself and accidentally yank a giant boulder over the edge of the cliff... which crushed Zephyr before he had a chance to scream.

"MEEP-MEEP!" She honked before taking off down the road once again.

Session 60.3 Devcon101

Twilight and co. were playing an O&O version of the popular flick "Specter Deflectors."

"The violet mare stares at you as she strokes the chin of the monstrous, dog-like creature beside her." Twilight read. "The mare takes trots down a few steps, eyeing you like a shark."

Applejack opened her mouth to speak, but Rarity interjected. "Darling, I think I should take care of this one." She cleared her throat as she moved her miniature forward. "Madame, as a duly designated resident of the city of Manehattan, I must request you take your supernatural business elsewhere, preferably to your place of origin or nearest convenient parallel dimension."

Applejack rolled her eyes. "As if a god would listen ta that. Didn't work in the movie, won't work ‘ere."

Rarity shrugged. "Worth a shot."

Twilight rolled a die, before continuing. "The mare simply stares at you, before asking a simple question..." Twilight cleared her throat, before continuing in the deepest, raspiest voice she could muster. "Are you a god?"

Rainbow Dash chuckled. "You sound like the alien from Hoofward the Duck!"

Twilight narrowed her eyes in frustration. "I'm doing my best, okay?"

Rarity tapped her chin in thought. Of course, she could always say no and let the game continue like the movie. Or...well, she had wondered what would've happened if they said yes...

Rarity gave a smile. "Why of course I am darling! And so are they." She waved her hoof over to the rest of the party.

Applejack frowned. "Wait, what? I'm n-" She was cut short as Rainbow put a hoof to her mouth. While she admired her friend's honesty, now was not the time for it.

Twilight thought for a moment. "Roll a Deception check."

Rarity tossed the die after giving it a kiss for good luck. "Oooh! Natural 20! And with my bonus, that comes out to a 28."

Twilight nodded, rolling a die of her own. Upon looking at the results, she blinked.

"The deception...works. The mare smiles, casually trotting down the steps, dogs in tow. "Ah, excellent. It's been so long since I've seen another!" She moves past you to the edge of the building. "Well, fellow gods, shall we destroy this mortal realm together? It's been too long since I've had a good world-ending."

Rarity blinked, putting on a forced smile. "Actually, darling, you really don't want to end this world. We've got a...um...treaty! Yes, a treaty with a rival pantheon to not destroy it. Wouldn't want an entire pantheon on our backs for breaking it, would we?"

After requesting another deception check, upon which Rarity rolled high again (not a natural 20, but up there), Twilight rolled another die, before responding. "Hmm...understandable. But at least accompany me to another world to end that one. It won't be long, I assure you. Just a little fun outing of gods."

Rarity began to sweat a little. "Um...I'm afraid we can't, darling, because...the pantheon says we have to stay here or else the treaty is void. Sorry."

One last deception check was made, which was surprisingly high once again, and Twilight rolled one last die, before blinking. "The mare is upset, but nods in understanding and...leaves, dogs in tow. The portal closes, and the storm overhead begins to disperse."

Rarity smiled with pride. "And that, darlings, is how it's done."

Applejack glared at Rainbow Dash, who still held her hoof over her mouth, letting out an angry comment which was muffled. Rainbow looked over, and with a quick "sorry" and guilty smile removed her hoof.

Pinkie Pie looked down, frowning with disappointment. "Aw, I wanted to eat the remains of the giant marshmallow pony!"

Session 60.4 Alex Warlorn

"So we're gonna play O&O with your mom and dad?!" Scootaloo asked excited.

Rainbow Dash nodded. "Yeah... SOMEPONY blabbed that table top and role play games were all the rage in Ponyville right now... "

That the Sirens themselves might have sparked the fad themselves to begin the groundwork of their scheme to conquer two worlds, was quietly ignored so not to ruin the hobby for countless equines.

"Well I think it's cool!"

That when the cloud house's door burst open...

"RAINBOW DASH! WHO IS THIS MARE!? IS THIS A CHANGELING?! WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!"

Rainbow Dash's jaw dropped. "Mom... and mom?"

"... I should be confused and scared, but I don't feel like complaining." Said the pegasus stallion of the house.

"Dash, does your dad look different? Dash! Dash!"

"RAINBOW!" The two mares closed in at the fainted Element of Loyalty.

+++

"Hm?" The Doctor checked the control panel from his time machine. "Did time just get smooshed again? I thought the princesses just fixed this timeline!"

Session 60.5 Grogar-the-oneser

"I HATE YOU TIMELINES!" Luna roared as she and the other deities were dealing with the paradox.

"I thought you fixed them all from the last time," Celestia snapped.

"So I missed one, I can't be expected to remember every detail, what am I Twilight?" Discord said defensively.

"Well now we have to deal with this," Celestia said annoyed.

"Oh calm down, we just make it two separate timeline where this." At this Discord check the board. "Bow Hot Hoof, still Rainbow Dad but has a different mother in those timelines. Should be simple since he looked like an older version pony she was with when they announce Cloudsdale will not host the Equestrian Game."

"Then how do you explain the young one appearing at Hearthwarming Eve in Twilight's castle?" Celestia growled.

"Animation error." Noticing Celestia look, Discord added. "What, it worked in the first cartoon of that robot show. Plus it let said animation error get there own being."

(look under generic gone pro in this link tfwiki.net/wiki/Generic)

"Actually according to clipboard, this Rainbow Blaze was already his own pony, but some word of 'writer' he not Rainbow Dash dad, so we could say he was her uncle." Cadence said.

Session 60.6 Mtangalion

"Would you all please try to stay in character!?" bellowed Pinkie Pie.

Celestia, Luna, and Discord all stopped what they were doing and slowly turned to stare at her.

Pinkie scratched her mane, grinning. "Eh heh… I'll just be in my trailer. Cause I'm a pony! Get it?" She dodged a solar flare and several comets, hastily galloping away.

Discord glanced at the fourth wall, sighing. "Moving on…" He snapped his claws.

"It's a simple question," said Princess Twilight. "Which set of parents do you remember being real?"

Rainbow was sprawled on the couch with an icepack on her head. "That's the trouble, Twi! I remember both of them! Like, I told my mom right away when I became a Wonderbolt, AND she never knew until Scootaloo spilled the beans."

Bow Hothoof nudged Twilight, grinning. "By the way, Princess, I love your casual, mare of the people look."

Windy Whistles nodded enthusiastically. "You're definitely the number one Best Princess currently in our home at the moment!"

"Don't you mean my home?" said Rainbow Dash Sr. "Assuming I can ever reclaim it from all the junk you brought with you."

Discord appeared in a flash. "These pesky timelines are just not coming unglued."

Twilight grimaced. "So, how bad is that?"

Discord stroked his goatee. "Do you know how in number theory, if you can't come up with any numbers in between two other numbers, those other numbers are the same number?"

"Huh?" said Windy.

"Beg pardon?" said Bow.

"What about it?" asked Twilight.

"Not helping with my headache," grumbled Rainbow.

Rainbow Sr. raised a hoof. "Is that some sort of analogy for how these worlds are so similar that it's difficult to distinguish one from another?"

"Not really," Discord admitted. "I just love making ponies argue for hours about whether point nine repeating equals one."

Twilight facehoofed.

The human world wasn't doing much better. Rainbow Dash and Sunset Shimmer were both on a couch with icepacks on their heads, because Sunset had tried to read Rainbow's mind after the trouble started.

"Sorry, guys," groaned Rainbow. "Mom and dad found mom and dad's Crystals and Rainbows beta software and made their own accounts. It wasn't me, honest!"

Applejack held up a tablet, showing them the three-hundred foot cloud sculpture of Rainbow Dash that now adorned the game's version of Cloudsdale. "You know, Ah almost believe you," said AJ, grinning.

Session 60.7 Alex Warlorn

Playing a game of chess (Rarity being rather frustrated at repeatedly having to explain the rules to Applejack), two mares chattered.

"How the heck did ya not notice Sweetie Belle's tastes had changed considering all the time you've spent with her in the past? Considering that ya seem to spend more time raising her than your parents do." Applejack asked.

"Don't remind me! I MEANT that it's been so long since we had one of our little outing like that, most of our time together has been at home!" Rarity said. "Running a business is exhausting."

Session 60.8 Devcon101

The mane six were one again beta testing Enchanted Entertainment's grandiose sci-fi sandbox game, Galaxia. Currently, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy were at one of the cantinas spread around the planets for social interaction with NPCs and to find job opportunities for the various factions.

The cantina was currently rather peaceful. Various races sat at tables or the bar, talking, drinking, some even playing some intergalactic gambling games. Rainbow, Fluttershy and Pinkie sat around a table, enjoying the drinks as Pinkie and Rainbow tested out one of the intergalactic games players could play, this being a holographic, interegalactic variation of chess, Fluttershy watching.

The peaceful atmosphere was soon broken as someone suddenly let out a scream of pain, grasping at their chest and falling over. Patrons looked over in shock, slowly backing up as the alien flipped onto their back, fainting as...something tore free from their chest. The most likely guess any of the three had was that it was a new creature they added in. Fluttershy stared in fear, bug eyed, getting up and backing up. Rainbow promptly got out her weapon and pointed it at the creature, preparing to fire, before something very, very odd occurred.

The thing pulled out a top hat and cane, putting the top hat on its head and began to sing and dance.

"♪ Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal! Send me a kiss by wire, baby my heart's on fire!♪"

Rainbow Dash stared in confusion. "What in heck?" she mumbled, too distracted by the sight to see the notice of a gained achievement for viewing this little easter egg in the bottom right corner of her vision.

The creature continued its number. "♪ If you refuse me, honey you'll lose me, and you'll be left alone! So baby telephone, and tell me I'm your-♪" The creature's little routine was cut short as it was suddenly blasted, leaving nothing but a pile of dust where it had been.

Everyone in the bar slowly turned to where the shot had came from, all laying their eyes on Pinkie, who still held out her smoking blaster. She held it up to her mouth and blew on it, the smoke dissipating. There was a moment of awkward silence.

"...What? Did any of you want to do it?"

Later…

"What even was that thing?" Fluttershy asked. The bar had returned to relative normalcy after the singing creature had died, though there were notably less patrons now. The other two shrugged.

"Some parody of the Centimorphs from Extraterrestrials, I think" Pinkie said, not sure herself.

The three soon finished up playing the game and were about to head out, when a certain white unicorn mare in a suit of orange armor entered.

Rarity smiled through the green visor on her helmet. "There you darlings are! I've been wondering where you got off to."

Fluttershy stared at something behind Rarity. "Um, Rarity...what is that?"

Behind the armored mare floated what looked like a small blue jellyfish, with five glowing green eyes within its translucent body and small teeth around the rim of its mouth. It let out an inhuman chirp.

"Oh, him? He's my new pet! Isn't he just adorable?" Rarity smiled at it.

Rainbow Dash raised a brow, remembering seeing a similar creature in the game. "Isn't that one of those life-sucking parasites?"

Rarity frowned. "Yes, but a baby version they made available as a pet. It's attack setting isn't even implemented yet. Wouldn't hurt a fly, I assure you." Looking up, she blinked, frowning. "Oh now where has he gone off to?"

Moments after a NPC alien that resembled a fly zipped by, yelling "GET IT OFF ME!" as the baby parasite latched on.

Rarity gave a guilty smile. "...Okay, so maybe the attack setting just isn't fully implemented..."

Session 60.9 JDMiles

Back in the Animania desert, Zephyr smiled as he quickly strapped a jetpack on. "This time, this time for sure! This time I'll finally catch her!" He happily proclaimed as he pressed a button, starting it up. A second later he was sent flying across desert. "WHOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!"

Meanwhile, Roadrunner Dash had come across another "Plot Hole"... in the form of a hastily painted-on tunnel. "Wow really? That's just lazy...."

"HERE I COME MY LOVE!!" Zephyr called out as he raced towards his target. Dash sighed and simply stepped to the side, expecting him to crash into the wall.... only for him to fly right through it! The surface rippling with water, much to Dash's surprise.

"I... what the-huh?!" She stuttered for a moment as she stared at the portal, wondering if she should go in if Zephyr was on the other side...

A few seconds later however, Zephyr ran out of the portal, now stuck in the form of a cat. "For the love of Celestia, STAY AWAY FROM ME!!" Zephyr screamed in terror. He was pursued by what looked like a lime green skunk with a pinkish-red stripe and was wearing a bandana with a floral pattern.

"Come back, my love!" Tree Hugger happily called out, playfully hopping after him "Let us become entwined together in the way of cosmic vibration and lay engulfed in our act of cosmic bliss!"

"....meh, not my problem! MEEP-MEEP!" She putted before zooming through the Plot Hole, hoping to reunite with her friends...

Session 60.10 Alex Warlorn

"Why aren't we doing anything for Star Mares 40th anniversary Rainbow Dash?" Scootaloo asked, "I had a buncha stuff that would be great for LARPing!"

Rainbow Dash shrugged, "Meh! I l lost all interest after friggin' FLIM AND FLAM bought the rights to it! And threw out my favorite, I mean, the sequel novels."

Session 60.11 Devcon101

http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Written_Script

Written Script sat down at his desk, tapping the point of his yet to be inked quill beside the sheets of paper that rested before him.

Recently Written had gotten a job as a writer for Ogre Magazine, a magazine line started for the popular Ogres and Oubliettes game. And his first task was to write an article on the Nine Hells, specifically the archdevils. Elsewhere on his desk rested a stack of books containing good wells of information on them. Of course, a few archdevils had yet to be as fleshed out as some of the others, so he had jotted down a few notes on information he had devised for them on a sheet of paper that sat beside the books. He had everything ready, now he just needed to begin.

He tapped his chin in thought, before dipping his quill in the inkwell that rested just above where he had been tapping his quill moments prior and beginning to write, starting with the first archdevil, Cowbellial.

That was when the door to his room opened, and in stepped Carrot Top, humming to herself.

"I'm home!" she said with a smile, before noticing his just-started article. "Ooh! Watcha writing honey?"

Written Script blinked, getting a nervous sweat. "Oh nothing really, just an article for Ogre Magazine on..." He struggled to think of something. "...the Elemental Planes! Yes, the Elemental Planes."

Carrot Top simply stared at him blankly. "...Honey, you are a horrible liar."

Written Script gave a sigh of defeat. "Oh fine. The article's really about..." He muttered it under his breath.

Carrot Top blinked, before gaining a grin. "I'm sorry, what did you say it was about?"

Written Script sighed once again. "The archdevils of the Nine Hells."

Carrot Top's grin grew even wider. "You know honey, I am one of the most knowledgeable ponies on the subject of O&O devils, if you were to ever, oh I don't know, need assistance?"

Written Script shook his head, turning back to his work. "No dear, I believe I'll be fine on my own."

Written began to resume his writing. Carrot Top trotted over, glancing over his shoulder.

She raised a brow as he continued writing. "...Belial had crimson scales, not mahogany."

Written sighed. This was going to be a long day.

-

"I believe I can fully handle this on my own, dear." Written said, turning to Carrot Top, who had yet to leave his side since he began to write.

Carrot Top gave him puppy dog eyes. "Oh come on, honey, please!"

Written shook his head. "I can handle this myself."

Carrot Top gave a slight pout. "And why can't I help?"

Written sighed once more. "Because with the amount of stuff you know, this short article would become an entire book."

-

Carrot Top watched Written. "...Did I tell you about each of Salmmon's dukes?"

Written nodded.

She paused, before continuing. "...I did tell you about all the details on Marephistopheles' palace, right?"

Written sighed. "Yes, honey, you did."

Carrot Top paused once again. "...And I didn't forget to mention the lesser known parts of Baazelbull's past, did I?"

Written put his hooves to his face, taking a deep breath. "Honey, I told you. I can handle it on my own!"

-

Written smiled as he finished the last sentence on Asmodequus' section. He gave it one last look over, before giving it a kiss.

He smiled with pride. "I finally finished it!"

"That's nice honey." Carrot Top's voice called out from in his room, the door to which was held shut by a chair. "...Now can you let me out of here?!"

Session 60.12 Mtangalion

Prince Blueblood tisked at Princess Twilight's Friendship Castle, which was just starting to glow with its own crystal radiance as the moon rose. He tensed, but the heavy hood and cloak he wore was enough to keep him from turning into a wolf, just as Auntie Luna had assured him. Blueblood sighed with relief; his most loyal servants knew, and they'd cover for him, but his clothing budget for the month was already shot to Tartarus. Best not to have any more little accidents.

"How many years," mused Blueblood, "and still Twilight has no guard of her own?" He gestured, and one of his personal pegasus guards (Dusk Glider, in service four years, fond of carrots, proposing to her coltfriend next month) left the chariot and trotted up the castle stairs. "At least I don't have to get the front door myself."

Inside, Blueblood let the hood of his cloak down and trotted through the main hall towards the "throne room." "My goodness, anypony bent on mayhem could just walk right in. Oh wait, somepony actually did!"

This was the place, apparently. Blueblood knocked at the doors twice, then invited himself on inside. "Hello!" he said cheerfully. "I'm told this is where the Dusklight game beta testing group convenes. I trust you have room for one more?"

The ponies and other folk inside were surprised, to say the least.

"You!" hissed Spike, narrowing his eyes and snorting a bit of flame. He'd had an unfortunate tendency to set the palace drapes on fire as a dragon toddler, Blueblood recalled, an equally unfortunate history of draining the Ponyville Perpetual Disaster Relief Fund with that greed growth stunt… oh, and he probably still had that adorably pathetic crush on Miss Rarity, which… ah yes, would explain the current hostility.

"You!?" echoed Miss Rarity, sitting in the star-marked throne next to Spike's miniature seat.

"My goodness," said the purple earth pony maee in the diamond throne. Local schoolteacher, Prince Blueblood vaguely recalled. Clearly not sure whether she should rise and bow or not.

"Howdy, Blueblood," said a grinning Big Macintosh Apple in the next throne over, the apple throne, appropriately. Blueblood supposed that he counted as a drinking buddy now. Certainly better company than many nobleponies he could name!

"Blueblood?!" stammered the gray thestral in the rainbow throne. "What are you doing here?"

What an interesting reaction, thought Blueblood. Windy Whisper, wasn't she? Formerly of the Night Guard… but wait… An author's quill pen cutie mark… and that voice, the one from his dream?! It was all Blueblood could do, not to point a hoof and shout "Aha!" Midnight Heart! He'd bet one of his country estates on it. Just one of them, mind… It was an astonishing coincidence to find Midnight Heart here like this, if it really was her. The whole thing could be a setup.

"Yes, why are you here, your highness?" asked Rarity, more collected now. "I wouldn't have taken you for a fan of Dusklight at all."

Blueblood wished that the star throne had been empty, since it was clearly the most important. He slipped into the balloon throne, with some misgivings, and pretended to pay no further attention to Miss Whisper. Naturally, there was no need for her to know what he knew or thought he knew. For now, at least.

"Let's just say," Blueblood told Rarity smoothly, "a mutual acquaintance persuaded me to give the series a chance, and now I find that I just can't put the books down. Then I received your kind invitation…"

"My invitation?" Rarity interrupted.

"Your postcard, of course. You wished to talk about matters of mutual interest. Well, here I am!"

Rarity frowned delicately. "Oh! Actually, I had in mind a more private setting, befitting… a frank discussion."

Spike started grinding his teeth, then paused, glancing at Rarity, worried and uncertain.

Blueblood pretended to come to a realization. "Ah, I see! My *new suit*... you don't want the details getting out to your competitors. How imperceptive of me! Still, might I participate in tonight's entertainment, since I've come such a long way?"

Spike relaxed, but he still looked wary.

Macintosh frowned. Very possibly, he knew that Blueblood was stretching the truth, but hopefully there was enough truth that he wouldn't get called on it.

Miss Cheerilee smiled. "I don't see why not. Half of our characters are nobleponies… why not get some perspective from a real one?"

This, Blueblood thought, was going to be such marvelous fun! And the Dusklight roleplaying game might actually be enjoyable too.

Session 60.13 Devcon101

(A continuation of Session 60.11)

Written Script looked expectantly at Carrot Top. His next article after the Guide to O&O Archdevils was one on the Hotblood War between devils and demons, as could be seen by the first few sentences he had written.

There was a moment of awkward silence. "...Well?" Written asked.

Carrot Top raised a brow. "...What?"

Written blinked. "...This article is on O&O's Hotblood War."

Carrot Top's expression didn't change. "...So?"

Written gained a look of disbelief. "You really have nothing to say?"

Carrot Top shook her head. "I never liked the Hotblood War. It made it hard to ally demons and devils, so I wrote it out in all my campaigns. I couldn't really tell you anything about it."

Written blinked, before smiling. ‘Yes!' he thought, almost swearing he could hear an angelic chorus ringing in his ears, ‘Thank the gods! No endless discussions on devil generals! No extensive lists of obscure infernal weaponry and siege weapons! No in-detail descriptions of hundreds of different devil battle tactics! I can finally just write!'

He blinked as he snapped out of his thoughts, however, seeing Carrot Top with the same grin she had when she found out about his first article's topic. "...I said that all out loud, didn't I?"

Carrot Top's smile grew wider. "Well, I may not know much about the Hotblood War, but I do know a lot of what you mentioned..."

Written began to bang his head against his desk repeatedly.

Session 60.14 Mtangalion

Gilda knocked cautiously on the doorframe of CrystalSoft Lead Developer Discord's office. "Yo, boss? Have you been chatting with your kid or something in there?"

Discord flicked his mouse as she entered, causing a screenshot of a boring spreadsheet to swipe in from the left side of his monitor and cover up the desktop. "What? Of course not! Heh, whatever makes you say that?"

Small pixelated hands wrapped around the edge of the spreadsheet, and the image of a cute little girl started pushing the image back where it came from, grunting and straining adorably. "Whew, it was dark back there!" The animated character seemed to look right out of the monitor at them, and the camera on top of the monitor whirred, focusing. "Hi, Daddy! Hi, Gilda!"

Gilda's jaw dropped. "That's… that's some chat program."

"Yes, isn't it." Discord coughed. "Gilda… Screwball, my faithful assistant! She's been helping daddy make the new class balance changes!"

Gilda twitched, smirking. "And, ah, that's not against company policy or any of that junk?"

"Of course not. I wrote the policy!" Discord kicked back in his chair, putting his mismatched sneakers up on the desk. "It's good to be the king! Er… of software development!"

Screwball's avatar bounced up and down. "Can we do paladins next, daddy? Please, please please!"

Gilda blinked. "You seriously let a little girl balance the classes in World of Horsecraft? I knew it! I mean, half the time the patch notes don't make any squawking sense!"

Discord frowned, then shrugged it off, clicking open an editor. "Well, it's inevitable that some would think that. You see, when a game has millions of active players, it also has millions of opinions. Terrible, ill-informed, self-serving opinions about what the future direction of the game should be."

Gilda nodded fiercely, squeezing a fist. "Yeah! All those feathering idiots, always clogging up the forums with their whiny ‘Buff me!' and ‘Nerf everybody else!' and ‘My class sucks!' Except warriors. They're the ones who actually are underpowered and need huge, massive buffs. I'm an expert at playing warrior, so I should know! How are warriors supposed to get the attention they need with all those other idiots posting their crap?"

"It's a mystery to everyone," deadpanned Discord. He double-clicked his personal to-do list, added ‘Nerf warriors,' and closed the window before Gilda turned around again. He clapped his hands. "So, paladins! What's first… how about Avenging Strike?"

"Woohoo!" Screwball jumped into an animated missile turret, working the controls, and a robotic arm attached to the computer whirred, aiming a paper airplane at a target across the room… a dartboard with spaces like "Nerf 2%," "Buff 7%", "Redesign," and "Gone!"

Gilda was headed back to her cubicle, still shaking her head in disbelief, when Gabby the Intern tapped her on the shoulder. "Hey, Gil? Those priority 4 bugs are really starting to back up. I bet I could fix them! You can do anything if you try!"

Gilda facepalmed. "What are you, an after school special? Ooh, I can do anything! Can you sprout wings and fly?!" She spread her arms and wiggled her fingers mockingly.

Gabby scratched her chin. "Huh, I don't know. I never tried that before!" She closed her eyes and balled her hands into fists. "Hmmmm… Hrrrrrmm!!" She peeked an eye open. "Am I flying yet?"

"This is gonna be a four-coffee day," muttered Gilda, changing course and making for the break room."

Session 60.15 Alex Warlorn

In the human world, the humane six were playing a d20 science fiction-fantasy-modern adventure. " Sort of like fantasy-Cyber punk, but without the punk."

The girls had infiltrated in game an evil organization that was totally not a poke at Crystal Soft and needed to get the information before security found them.

"Just look for all the files marked at 1.45 megabytes in size, and download them all to your thumb drive!" Sunset Shimmer said.

"Will do!" Pinkie Pie nodded.

"Huh?" Rarity wondered. "Why would that be important?"

"Trust me on this."

A while later, Science Twilight moaned. "Fine, you found all the vital files and withdraw without anyone identifying you." 'All my beautiful data cross reference puzzles... not even puzzled through!

Session 60.16 Grogar-the-oneser

"Huh, I feel I wasn't what people call a straw pony for once and it made someone very happy." Rarity muttered meanwhile big Macintosh and Applebloom were trying to stop Applejack from killing a certain pegasus.

"How about we play charades?"

"No."

"Or sky-diving that's a fun game."

"No."

"How about RPG discord style."

This stopped Applejack for a few minutes. "Sure i guess."

Both Applebloom and Big Macintosh sighed in relief.

"But only after I beat up Strawberry Sunrise, that mare wrote a check her mouth going to cash." Applejack stated.

"Sorry sis, but you leave me no choice." Big Macintosh said

"Sorry about-" Applejack was interrupted as Big Mac knocked her out.

"... I won't say what the tartarus, cause I think she was taking things too seriously, but you do realize she's going to be pissed about this." Applebloom said

"I know." Big Mac sighed.

Session 60.17 patton-42

The Doctor, having heard from Derpy about her plans for what appeared to be several weeks' worth of parties, had decided that he would be better served far, far away from Equestria for awhile. She'd seemed oddly enthusiastic about it all, but for all he cared she could be trying to unleash an eldritch horror or simply replacing his Muffin Form(which, he realized, was somehow capitalized in his mind). So long as he wasn't part of it, he could care less. No, he'd be off on far more safe, predictable adventures into the jaw of-KAFLASH!

His internal monologue was cut off by the materialization of a haggard, nervous looking River, who had apeared to arrive via vortex manipulator.

"River. I know we have differing opinions on the subject, but using that cheap knockoff inside the TARDIS is just disrespectful to her on so many levels that I-"

"Not now. When is this?"

"Um, sorry, what's-"

"WHEN IS THIS!?"

"Alright, alright. Let's see, taffy spiders, daleks, oh! Just finished up with Derpy's muffin madness."

"Good. Listen carefully. Something big is coming, something very, very big. You're actually the one who sent me back here to tell you this. You're leaving Equestria for a month or two, right?"

"Right, where are you going with-"

"Shut up love. If you ever go back, don't eat ANY baked goods offered to you by anypony, no matter what."

"Did Pinkie Pie cause the cupcake apocalypse again? I've already unhappened that 3 times. And that's apparently 4 times too many, because I've got photographic evidence of another time I unhappened so well even I forgot!"

"No, its worse, so much worse. You're not running away from this one. When things come to a head, you must remember to mention that time-travelling human we met. The fate of reality depends upon it."

"Alright then. Why, exactly?"

"The only explanation you gave me was that I told you in the past."

"Ah. I understand."

"You said that if you didn't believe me, that I should mention 'that one time with Belgium', and you'd understand."

"But I already understand."

"Yes, but you said you remembered me saying that, so I had to say it even if I didn't have to."

"If I was a regular pony, my head would hurt. Well done River."

"Thank you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go relax for about a month in Las Pegasus before going back to that mess."

"No you're not."

"And why not?"

"Because, when I last had too much time on my hooves, I created a program in the TARDIS for if you should ever defile her with that...thing. Your vortex manipulator now has a micro-version of the TARDIS' various quirks and personality traits...or at least it would if those were programmable and not the result of age, adventure, and not a small amount of care. Instead, you'll just have to make do with a temporal magnet that homes in on me, ensuring you can't abandon me mid-crisis. Like now, for example."

"...why?"

"Three reasons. One, time is most likely in flux right now, so you most likely don't have all the leeway you think you do. Two, if things are ever bad enough for you to actually time travel into the TARDIS, I'll most likely need you wherever things are going that bad. And three, deserved punishment for disrespecting my TARDIS."

"I now know why you had that grin on your face before sending me off."

With another loud flash, River was transported back to the crisis...only to walk into the center of the TARDIS a moment later.

"Doctor, was that me I heard?"

"Yes, dear. You were warning me of a crisis."

"And there was no information about how to prepare other than something suitably vague?"

"As per usual."

"Well, that'll be fun to worry about. So, where to first?"

Several adventures later...

"Doctor? Why is the void staring back at me?"

"Oh, that's probably just a portal to Ponythulu's home dimension. He asked me to visit him, and apparently the TARDIS decided I'll be doing that."

The TARDIS entered the void-portal, and entered into what appeared to be a tastefully-decorated living room, albeit with incomprehensible proportions. The Doctor and River emerged, managing to adjust to the couch that had been asteroid sized, but that now fit their proportions perfectly, rather well.

Ponythulu soon entered(at least, they thought he did, he may very well have always been there) from some unseen portal, with a tray of delicious-
looking chocolate chip cookies. He said...something that might've been "Hello Doctor", or a series of random gurgles. He was much harder to understand in his own dimension.

"Hello yourself. "

Ponythulu said something that, if heard backwards, could have been "And hello to your companion as well. Would you care for some cookies?"

"Nice try, but I've specifically been warned off all baked goods. Besides, you know what having a Time Lord in your cult would do to reality-it'd bend it in ways even you couldn't understand. Just look at the last bloke who took one."

If heard at a 45 degree angle, Ponythulu's response might have been "The Master was already in the state of what you call insanity long before he accepted my hospitality. If anything, I may have normalized him for a time."

"If you call falling in love with me normal. Speaking of, have you had any run-ins with future me's? I'd really like to know how to avoid that, and the last me who told me left out most of the details."

"Why not just run away from him and avoid solving the problem the easy way, it worked SO well last time" River mumbled, wishing she could eat one of the cookies. When those few who had consumed them were capable of forming complete sentences in a language native to their own plane of reality, they generally said that they were excellently made.

Ponythulu either summoned a very small tornado or cleared his throat, and then generated a sound that, if mentally changed to have a strong Appaloosan accent, could have said "I have called you here to ask for clarification regarding the muffin-related escapade you recently went on, and how it may affect the state of baked goods across the cosmos."

"Well, what happened didn't have much to do with muffins, really. Derpy went mad with love over my muffin form, chased me across the cosmos, and then it was resolved with a conversation, nothing reall-River, why are you looking at me like that?"

"No reason" growled River, who was proud of herself for managing to look put-upon despite the temptation of the cookies.

With a startling lack of ambiguity, Ponythulu spoke very clearly in what could only be a surprised tone.

"You...you don't know what I mean, do you? Oh dear, I must've opened the portal to soon. Or would it be too late? Your 'time' is all so very bothersome, it really would be better for you to join me. These types of things would no longer bother you. Oh well. My apologies for the inconvenience, and please come see when it is more relevant to you."

And with that, the time-travelling pair were back in the TARDIS, with nothing but the lingering scent of chocolate to indicate that they were ever anywhere else.

"Doctor, do you know what he was on about?"

"I'm sure we'll find out eventually."

In another time, in another place, a button pressed itself. A pair of office workers in Manehatten began arguing animetedly over who should pay for lunch, and a small pond found its lillypads transformed into blueberry muffins, with the water becoming chocolate milk.

To be continued...........in another couple of days once i get another break from work. And no, the spelling of animatedly isn't a typo.

Session 60.18 Devcon101

Recently, beta testing had opened up for a new stealth sandbox game by Enchanted Comics known as Thief's Breed.

Standing in the darkness of an alleyway that rested between two formerly bustling streets now silent under the moon's glow was one Suri Polomare, dressed in a black hooded suit and facemask, a quiver strung across her back. One eye of her glowed with a soft blue light, looking mechanical. She crouched down, pressing herself against the wall as the light of a lantern carried by two guards passed by, idly chatting to one another as they patrolled the streets. She waited for a few moments for the coast to be clear, before standing back up, tapping her hoof impatiently, as if waiting for somepony.

She stumbled back as an older mare in a white cloak jumped down from one of the neighboring rooftops, landing softly and quietly. Most of her face was shrouded in black by her hood, only her mouth visible. She looked to either street the alley was connected to, before giving a slight chuckle.

"Sorry dearie, assassinating that stallion took a bit longer than I had hoped for. Record time still, but I could've done better." The mare's, who by her voice could be recognized as Sicklysweet, smile visibly lessened as she muttered "I'm loosing my touch" softly to herself. Suri narrowed her eyes, not amused.

"I could've easily gotten caught waiting for you, mmkay? I still haven't yet rid the streets of all those wanted posters. One off shadow and the whole guard'd be on my trail." Though she kept her voice down, it was clear she was quite agitated.

Sicklysweet rolled her eyes. "Dearie, unless they're specifically looking for you, I doubt they'd be that observant. Maybe on Deadly difficulty like I'd wanted to play on, but somepony-"

Suri snorted in frustration. "This is our first time playing this game, mmkay? This Hard difficulty is already challenging enough, let alone Deadly or Master difficulty."

Sicklysweet nodded. "Fine fine. Just make sure to give me those eggs you lay dearie. I'm making a huge wedding cake for this rich couple, so I'm going to need all I can get." She let out a soft chuckle, Suri glaring. "So, I believe your next target is the same as mine?"

Suri's glare relaxed slightly, nodding. "Ram-irez? Yeah."

Sicklysweet nodded to herself. "Seems the separate missions are few and far between." She began to take a few steps back towards the street. "Come along, dearie. I assassinate him, you rob him. Simple."

Suri gave a confused look. "And how are we going to get past the guard? They've practically locked down everywhere in this part of the city but here."

Sicklysweet smiled. "I've got just the thing dearie." She took a rather big box out of hyperspace and placed it on the ground.

Suri simply stared. "A...box? That's it?"

Sicklysweet sighed. "Just trust me on this."

Later...

Sicklysweet and Suri both crouched underneath the box, Suri glaring her eyes at her mother.

Sicklysweet gave a nervous smile. She hadn't been aware of a new "joke" weakness of the box that had been put in the game as part of the new update (likely an idea of one of the backers). Apparently, despite it being a great stealth item, if one stayed idle beneath it for long periods of time…

One of the guards rubbed his chin as he stared at the chessboard that rested atop this convenient cardboard box he and a buddy had found. He grabbed one of the pieces, analyzing the positions.

‘If I move here, the game's over...' he thought, ‘And if I move here, the game's over...but maybe if I...no, the game would be over..."

The other guard sat across from him in annoyance. "Face it, Ironblade, you won."

Ironblade frowned, looking desperate. "C'mon! One more game!" he begged, as he had at the end of the last 15 games.

Session 60.19 Kendell2

"And with the message delivered, he breaths his last at your hooves..." Spike explained, smirking as he did his job as GM.

"...Shouldn't we tell his family?" Fluttershy asked.

The little drake blinked. "Say what?"

"Well...he did just die in front of us...so...shouldn't we inform his family or something?" the kind Pegasus asked.

"Uh..." Spike replied, trying to think of a way to avoid this turning into a giant side quest. "He was...an orphan!"

"What about the orphanage?"

"...It was burned down...by uh...a dragon!...I mean an EVIL dragon! Not like me or Ember...more like Garble...only older."

"Uh, if there's a dragon runnin' around burnin' down orphanages, shouldn't we go slay it?" Applejack asked, raising an eyebrow.

'Crud,' the little purple dragon thought. "Uh...well...he's...uh...The message he just gave you is kinda important!"

"Ah'd say a dragon killin' orphans is plenty important too!"

"We could at least give him a little funeral, darling," said Rarity. "Would be nice."

Rainbow Dash looked at her character bio. "The god I worship rewards treating the good dead right, so I'd be game for that."

"Uh...Look! Orcs are attacking!" Spike called, instantly put several on the board.

-One orc slaying later-

"So what were we doing?" asked Twilight.

"Giving the messenger guy a funeral," said Pinkie Pie...in her normal Pinkie Pie fashion.

"And probably gonna go find that orphanage burnin' dragon..." Applejack pointed out.

Spike gave a groan. "Fine, there's a graveyard over there...but it's full of zombies!"

"Eh, free EXP," Rainbow Dash replied with a smirk.

-One graveyard zombie battle later-

"Okay, so how about that funeral?" Rainbow Dash asked, decking out her Barbarian in a nice fancy +5 enchanted studded leather armor of ghost touch she found just laying around with a note saying 'whoever slays my zombie, my armor is yours' (unknowing it was simply a shiny distraction by Spike).

Spike gave a sigh, having not even mentioned the messenger the ENTIRE time hoping they'd forget.

And they still didn't, even when the first coffin they found turned out to be a Mimic and the local gravedigger turned out to be a vampire.

"So...uh...do we actually KNOW anything about this guy?" Twilight asked, scratching her head.

"Um...he was a messenger...and an orphan..." Fluttershy replied.

Twilight instantly produced a book on proper funeral procedure. "We don't even know his NAME, we gotta figure out a little more than that...maybe search his pockets?"

The GM cursed himself for not even giving the NPC a name, since seeing how this was going, he'd inevitably have to come up with one.

"And maybe that'll tell us where that dragon is so we can go deal with it," Applejack reminded.

Spike groaned and facedesked.

Session 60.20 Grogar-the-oneser

"Seriously, all that rummaging all we got is a business card that says E.Nigma, what kind of messenger only has business cards and a message." Rainbow Dash said

Spike eye was twitching, at the criticism (It was the only good name he could think of, and he thought it was still good considering a certain bandicoot coming back and serves as a good tribute, thank you very much)

'Seriously, its a medieval fantasy, they could have easily just bought shovels and buried the dead guy. But no, they got way into this. I know i'm a good gm but come on, not even me and Big Mac get this into it.' Spike thought grumpily, he should've just said the dead guy was in fact a criminal wanted for several crimes, but he can't do it now cause that would be lazy storytelling.

'Theres only one way out, It too deus ex machina and mean, but at this point i just want to take a nap.' Spike thought

"You hear polite coughing behind, you all turn to see another band of adventurers glaring at you."

"What, why are they glaring at us!" Rarity said shocked

"They saw you rummaging a dead messenger of royalty, take a wild guess." Spike said blandly

"Huh... that is the kind of thing that looks suspicious." Pinkie admitted

"Relax, we'll just explain it to them in a calm rational matter." Twilight Sparkle said.

Remembering that story Big Mac told him, Spike quickly said "The leader of this band step forward and introduce herself as Strawberry Sunrise."

"I lunge forward and cut strawberry head off." Applejack stated

"WHAT!?" Twilight and Fluttershy shouted while Rarity slapped her forehead annoyed.

"Your strike was effective, you killed their leader." Spike said

"YAY!" Applejack said

"But it also angers her team-mates, who are all way stronger than you and won't be taken in by surprise.

"Oh..." Applejack gulped "My bad."

"You really got to get over your irrational hatred of her darling." Rarity muttered

+

"As you are stuck in prison, you overhear the guards talking about the dead adventurer and messenger getting a ornate funeral and mentioning its a shame E.Nigma died as they just orphanage killing dragon died of a heart attack." Spike said

"Well thats good...ish." Fluttershy said

"Yeah I mean we got alot of cool gear, A And once the king gets his explanation, i'm sure the king will reward us for trying to get a funeral for the royal messenger." Pinkie smiled

"Ah don't know... seems too much of a deus ex machina." Applejack said

"Your only saying that cause you decided to vent since the leader had the same name as that mare who disagree with you when she gave you an honest opinion about apples." Rarity said annoyed

"Nah, I'm with AJ on this one... even though technically she the reason why were in jail." Rainbow said below her breath.

"I heard that." Applejack snapped.

Session 60.21 Alex Warlorn

"WAIT!" Rainbow Dash said, "If the dragon died of a heart attack.. Then their treasure hoard..."

"IS COMPLETELY UNGUARDED!" Rarity said realizing what Rainbow Dash was saying.

"It won't stay that way for long!" Twilight said.

"We better get out of here fast then! Spike! I Diplomatically tell the Guard how if they write up a report on how this was all a misunderstanding and my ranger friend was bewitched by forces outside of this plane of existence, that we're cut them a small percentage of the dragon hoard's treasure that we claim (if any)." Pinkie Pie said.

Spike was bewildered, but not upset nor worried, there was no way Pinkie Pie's bard could roll high enough on her bluff or her diplomacy check to...

Pinkie Pie rolled... and rolled natural 20s for her Diplomacy and her Bluff check.

Spike, begrudging, a vein in his little head, said, "The guard, lets you out, is sorry your friend got temporary possessed by a demon, and hopes you come back with his cut of the treasure soon."

"We will darling. I give the guard a kiss, and off we go!"

"RACE TO THE DEAD DRAGON'S HOARD!" Rainbow Dash declared.

Spike facedesked, again.

Session 60.22 Mtangalion

Starlight lounged in Twilight's throne, trying to project an air of confidence, while her magic flipped through several O&O manuals plus a scenario guide. "All right, so when you leave the city of New Buckingham, you see… wait a moment, I've got this…"

Rarity gave her a vacant, dreamy smile. "I'll wait as long as you want, Starlight Glimmer."

"You see… the Northern Plains. Obviously! Just try to picture it in your heads, or something."

"Whatever you say, Starlight Glimmer," droned Fluttershy cheerfully.

"Oh, and there's also…" Starlight rolled a twenty-sided die. "Four large caravans and three smaller ones waiting to enter the city. Heh, what were the odds?"

Applejack raised a hoof. "Ah reckon it's one in twenty, Starlight Glimmer!"

"I didn't mean… ugh, never mind! Where does the party go next?"

Rainbow Dash leapt half out of her seat. "Left! We have to get back to that unguarded dragon hoard before..."

"You can't go that way!" Starlight blurted out. "I mean, I spent all morning reading up on this Haunted Diamond Mine adventure, so you should definitely go right!"

Rainbow's pupils shrank. "Sure thing, Starlight Glimmer. Whatever you say!"

"So, how am I doing so far?" asked Starlight, turning towards Princess Twilight. "Spike said I just needed to make sure they stuck to the plot, and everything else would be fine... You're doing the twitchy-face thing. I'm guessing that's not a good sign."

Twilight took a deep breath. "I'll be the first to admit, I myself haven't always been the ideal Oubliette Master. I've been a little too obsessed with details and making sure things go according to plan, a little too controlling… but I think even I'm qualified to say this. There's railroading, and then there's what you're doing. Cut it out." Twilight frowned. "And tell Sunburst he can stop massaging your hooves."

Sunburst leaned out from under the table, adjusting his glasses. "Oh, I'm not under mind control, princess. Since I'm responsible for Flurry Heart now, I make sure I'm properly warded at all times." He gave Starlight a wink and a sly grin. You know you can just ask if you want a hoof massage, right? No need for a spell."

Starlight blushed. "Wait. So, all that time, you were…" She meeped and teleported away.

Sunburst stroked his goatee. "Don't worry, she'll be back."

Starlight reappeared, wrapped a forelimb around Sunburst, and teleported a third time, taking her coltfriend with her this time.

Session 60.23 Devcon101

"So, wait, hold on…"

Rainbow Dash and the rest of the mane six sat around the map table, discussing the upcoming O&O adventure.

"We're going into a jungle full of dinosaurs and monsters, fighting psychic koalas, dragon turtles, giant frog monsters, zombie t-rexes that vomit more zombies and more, and we get to punch Acererak in the face again and not in a rerun of the Tomb of Horrors?"

One could practically see the stars in Rainbow's eyes. "That is AWESOME! It sounds just like something out of a Daring Do book! I'm totally making a character based on her for it!"

"Actually," Twilight stated, "if I recall they actually made a deal with A.K. Yearling to include Daring Do in the campaign. She's even helping to write the adventure."

Rainbow Dash's jaw dropped, before turning to Rarity. "...Rarity, could I borrow your fainting couch for a quick sec?"

Session 60.24 Alex Warlorn

It was enchanted comic time. This comic started out bright in the middle of the day, with a horrible flood immediately hitting Maretropolis. The Power Ponies at once swooped in and began helping victims and repairing the dam... when a black light flashed...

All their powers suddenly just, stopped working, and the Power Ponies fell, and were swept away by the river. As they fished themselves out, Twilight coughed. "There must be a bug with the enchanted comic, we should leave and tell the publisher."

"Oh this is based on Power Ponies: Act of Celestia, where the Power Ponies all mysterious lose their powers. And have to think about what right they had to have powers that set them above their fellow ponies." Starlight Glimmer, dressed as Batmare explained.

"Let me guess... favorite of yours?" Masked Matterhorn/Twilight asked.

Starlight gasped. "How did you know?!"

"... Lucky guess."

"But isn't it cool?! Now Humdrum is now the most competent member of the team since he never had any powers to rely on as a crutch!"

Spike spoke up. "But Humdrum wanted to be treated as an equal by the team, not drag everypony else down."

"And seein' how this adventure starts with us usin' our powers to help flood victims, Ah'd say all it really does is contribute LESS."

"And darlin', my bracelet is according to my character's back story is TECHNOLOGY, just of an alien sort. So logically my powers should still work."

"Yeah this blows," Zapp/Rainbow Dash says, "Do we get our powers back at the end?"

"No, but I do get to train you as Batmare to be rugged badass ponies like her," Starlight Glimmer nodded smiling. "Doesn't that sound cool!?"

"... Yeah, thanks, but no thanks, I'd rather have my super heroes be SUPER." Rainbow Dash/Zapp forcefully exited the comic world. As normal, she was promptly replaced with Zapp's NPC. "OH WHY! OH WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED! HOW COULD I BE RENDERED SO UTTERLY USELESS! USELESS!"

The girls all cringed.

"Starlight..." Spike said, "There was already a story where the Power Ponies had their power stolen-"

"Not stolen here, lost forever-"

"The point is... is that it's already established that they're heroes with super powers, they're not heroes because they have super powers. Well, not after the character development THEY ALREADY HAD with Hum Drum and watching My Little Donkey."

"Well, I guess -I- might be happy since Saddle Rager's power was a blessing and a curse." Fluttershy admitted. "And she could go back to being a full time relief effort worker."

"Actually, you become a stock market broker."

"WHAT?! How does that even make sense?!" Fluttershy said, channeling her character's legendary temper.

"Can we stop now?" Pinkie Pie/Filisecond said, "This is reminding too much of the social worker who thought my parents were abusing me for being pink and smiling."

"Princess Luna does not hear my prayers, I must turn to the one true faith of Celestia!" Shouted Zapp.

"Well, at least Lightning Knight supports me in my dark hour of need right?" Twilight asked/Masked Matterhorn.

"He leave you for losing your powers actually."

"Dramaticus Persona, Comic End." Twilight said without hesitation.

(This parody is based on the comic story 'JLA Act of God' https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/JLA:_Act_of_God ).

Session 60.25 Alex Warlorn

Vice Company President Chrysalis burst into Company President Sombra's office. "We got trouble! Discord hit his head and became Accord again!"

"Is he installing mind control software in the games again!?"

"No!... No I checked... but he is writing a new game and has already ringed in some our of beta testers into it."

"Well, hopefully he'll produce something useable this time. The sales for Orderly Office are awful."

"I dunno... sold well at crystal Prep according to the app store hidden stats."

REAL_Princess, Rising_Sun, Honest_Apple, Awesome_McCoolName, and Faithful_Student, all stood before the final boss, a giant screaming floating head of Princess Celestia.

"WORSHIP ME! OBEY ME! SERVE ME! WITHOUT ME YOU'RE ALL WORTHLESS WORMS! SOCIETY WILL NEVER MOVE PAST ME BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE ALL PATHETIC WEAKLINGS WHO CAN'T MAKE THEIR OWN CHOICES! BWAHAHAH!"

REAL_Twilight said, "Uh, actually the 'worthless without you' actually refers to how 'Celestia is love, and a loveless isn't worth living'. Not that one should always defer to authority."

"HUH?! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY HOW PEOPLE ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO LIVE WITHOUT ME BECAUSE THEY HAVE EACH OTHER AND THEIR OWN HOPES AND DREAM!"

"I read the back story for this, supplied with the beta-version," Faithful_Student said, "It says you're supposed to be a manifestation of the belief of everyone whose a part of your religion. But you act more like an exaggerated stereotype touted by those who AREN'T part of you religion and don't think you exist at all, and therefore, shouldn't affect your personality nor your temperament. ... So who are you really?"

The giant head of Princess Celestia glitched, then cracked appeared on her head... she shattered, to reveal a giant bald silver statue holding a globe in one hand, of an impossibly perfect muscular figure.

The bosses name changed, each letter stabbing forth.
H-U-M-A-N H-U-B-R-I-S

"... ALL THE UNIVERSE IS MINE TO CLAIM! TO CONTROL! I BOW TO NONE! FOR ALL SHALL BOW TO ME! THOSE WHO WOULD LOOK ANYWHERE BUT THEMSELVES FOR HOPE MUST BE CLEANSED!"

"Now we're talking! Bring it on!" Awesome_McCoolName declared, summoning her Youkai (it was the proper for a catch-all of supernatural beings in Japan, 'demon' was a poor mistranslation).

-

"But... but... but... BUT I DIDN'T PROGRAM THAT IN!" Accord shouted watching this on his screen in real time.

"No... I did." Said Screwball on another screen with a camera and microphone. "Since it said in the notes that the characters the heroes encounter are supposed to be born of the collective belief of humanity, I did several on-line polls, and found most of their behaviors didn't match up at all with what people of those various religions believe. So I programmed an algorithm to modify the narrative text based on the poll results."

"Didn't I reprogram you to be orderly and obedient and be clone of me?"

"... I had help."

From behind, Gilda hit Accord on the head with a frying pan.

Session 60.26 Ardashir

"Gilda! You mean to say you just smashed our Chief Programmer over the head with a frying pan?"

Gilda stood in the CEO's office beside a magnificent oak table big enough to be the foundation for a house as she tried not to wince before her boss. She knew how he hated weakness. She defiantly folded her arms over her chest and looked CEO Sombra right in the eyes. "Yeah. What of it? Someone needed ta stop him."

Sombra glowered down at her like an approaching thunderstorm.

And relaxed.

"Thank heavens someone did it! I was wondering who would stop him from wrecking the company, and --"

He broke off as a hollow metallic clang came from outside the office, mingled with a wild yell that ended in a groan and thud.

"Wait," Sombra's face slowly turned into a mask of horror. "Did I forget to tell the staff that now they didn't have to --"

"I GOT HIM I GOT HIM I GOT HIM!" Gabby raced in, waving a poker she'd gotten from somewhere with a sharp bend in it about two-thirds of the way from the grip. She dashed to CEO Sombra and embraced him, dancing with joy. "Boss! Mister Sombra! He didn't even see me coming! Tried fooling me too, yelling something about 'No, you fool, someone already did -', but I just up and let him have it! Like THAT!" Gabby emphasized by banging the poker onto the heavy oak conference table. Sombra and Gilda stared to see it embedded in the dark wood. Gabby grinned. "Well, maybe not that hard."

The intercom buzzed and a coldly familiar voice came from it. "So! Trying to stop my brilliant ideas, are we? First I'm calling the police to report you for putting that hyperactive pixie up to attempted homicide with a blunt object, and then --"

Another metallic clang came from outside. A new groan from Accord and the sound of a body hitting the floor.

"What now?" Sombra groaned.

His answer sauntered through the door a moment later. VP Chrysalis grinned icily as she dropped a blackjack into her purse, right next to the canister of bear mace she kept for those overly-insistent boyfriends.

"It's handled, sir," she smirked. "He should be back to his bad old self when he wakes up. In a few days."

Gabby blinked. "Wow, Miss Chrysalis, how did you know that Mister Discord needed to be hit?"

"What's that, my dear?" Chrysalis bared very strong, very white teeth in something like a smile. "I just saw you and Gilda brain him and thought we were finally going to be allowed to take out our frustrations on him."

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 60.0 Kendell2
Session 60.1 Alex Warlorn
Session 60.2 JDMiles
Session 60.3 Devcon101
Session 60.4 Alex Warlorn
Session 60.5 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 60.6 Mtangalion
Session 60.7 Alex Warlorn
Session 60.8 Devcon101
Session 60.9 JDMiles
Session 60.10 Alex Warlorn
Session 60.11 Devcon101
Session 60.12 Mtangalion
Session 60.13 Devcon101
Session 60.14 Mtangalion
Session 60.15 Alex Warlorn
Session 60.16 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 60.17 patton-42
Session 60.18 Devcon101
Session 60.19 Kendell2
Session 60.20 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 60.21 Alex Warlorn
Session 60.22 Mtangalion
Session 60.23 Devcon101
Session 60.24 Alex Warlorn
Session 60.25 Alex Warlorn
Session 60.26 Ardashir

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Cover art by Lemon-Bitter-Twist

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

http://lemon-bitter-twist.deviantart.com/art/EQD-ATG6-09-Uh-oh-she-s-smiling-again-630115851

Session 61

*SPOILERS FOR THE NEW EQUESTRIA GIRLS SPECIALS IN THIS SESSION!*

"So Cinch FINALLY got fired?" asked the human Rainbow Dash, doing another race in Rainbows and Crystals.

Sci-Twi nodded, changing up her character's look. "Sort of, and Cadence is the Principal now."

"...Was it because of...you know," said Sunset, showing her magic a bit, wings and all. She'd concealed her wings when she'd went to Equestria, since the average pony there would freak out seeing a random new Alicorn out of nowhere, but she had no problem showing it around her friends.

Sci-Twi shook her head. "No. Shining and Cadence threatened to tell the school board about her blackmailing me and knowing I was being bullied and doing nothing about it, and told her to just gracefully step down rather than get fired in disgrace and damage Crystal Prep's reputation."

"Huh...well, ding dong the witch is dead I guess," Sunset replied. "Maybe now Crystal Prep will get the emotional learning they need to go with their academic learning...wonder what Cinch is doing now though..."

"Hopefully she doesn't show up as a magic crazed supervillain..." said Pinkie Pie.

Adagio looked over at the new woman in the office, who was mainly acting as Company President Sombra's secretary now. "...Hey, aren't you a the principal of that Crystal Prep place?" she asked.

Cinch gave a growl. "I WAS...now I'm lucky Sombra remembered me well enough to give me a job..." Cinch had a bit of a...reputation. While Crystal Prep WAS successful, the students that came out of it often had certain...psychological issues.

"...Six kids with weird magic, pony ears, and long tails, one of which looks like she has bacon hair?" Adagio questioned.

"...Yes...Though there were seven..."

"...I know your pain..."

OOC: Going off the new EG specials. For the record, I SINCERELY don't buy Sunset not being an Alicorn. Fanon Discontinuity.

Session 61.1 Alex Warlorn

"PINKIE PIE asked us to play Crazy Teacher?" Rarity exclaimed.

"In multiplayer mode," Sunset explained.

"I didn't know it had one."

"She must'ta modded it," Rainbow said.

"Hopefully not with magic," Sunset said.

"Now darlings, Pinkie Pie is... often with her head in the clouds... but there's no way she'd be that foolish, I hope."

"Ah think she's just tryin' to make up for makin' us watch that stupid movie."

"You really shouldn't call it that Applejack, it IS her favorite." Fluttershy said.

"Ah'm just being honest! The book was better. The writing was bungled. And the jokes weren't even that funny! And entire thing was crazy! Apple Bloom would think it was nuts!"

"But it's HER favorite movie, and you should be considerate of her feelings."

"Ah'm not gonna tell her somethin' Ah don't feel and make her think we love it and make us watch over and over and over again!"

"... But it can be said more politely dear..." Rarity said, "People can react badly to having their escapes ... browbeaten..."

The girls logged into the shared server... finding themselves in cliche Japanese school unicorns... and in seconds Pinkamena, straight hair and all, came wailing at them with a giant wooden mallet. "WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT 'SIDE OF PUDDING?!'"

Session 61.2 Alex Warlorn

"Juniper darling, what did you do what was left with the mirror?" Rarity asked.

"Oh! These three girls said they really liked the frame, so I sold it to them for five dollars."

"... Three ... girls?!" Rainbow freaked.

"There's nothing to worry about," Starlight said, "The mirror only worked for her right?"

"... When she was the legitimate owner!" Sunset said with wide eyes!

"Let's not panic dears! Yet! There was only little sliver of the mirror left after all."

"What's going on?" Juniper asked confused.

-

"And just use this lens to expand it a bit and... ta-da!"

Aria snorted, "Adagio what a waste of money, there's not enough magic left in that thing to restore our pendants."

"Maybe not, ... yet... but it's still useful."

Adagio looked in the mirror, seeing her ideal self, she grinned.

"Excuse me, could I please pay you back the five..." Coming up behind Adagio, Juniper saw how Adagio saw herself idealized, Juniper went as white a sheet, pointed at the reflection, screamed in terror, goes rigid, and fainted like a fallen over statue at the THING in the mirror.

-

"I thought you said that thing showed someone's IDEAL self, not their TRUE self."

"It does!"

-

Adagio had brought the mirror to work, but Vice President Chrysalis had to rush into work early that day, and ordered Adagio to give her the mirror to fix her hair.

"Fine but only for a second!" Adagio said, momentarily transferring ownership of the mirror to Chrysalis for a few seconds.

"Gee, this is a sure confidence boast!" Vice President Chrysalis sniggered at the self she always wanted to be. She cackled at the strange sight. "This some kinda psychological profile reading thing?"

"Hey boss I have lunch and..." Coming up behind, Gabby saw Vice Company President Chrysalis' ideal self in the mirror. 'I'm gonna lose my lunch!' She dropped off the food and ran for the bathroom, cheeks bulging.

Session 61.3 QuartzScale

Sombra sat at his desk overlooking the new IP they were creating. Crystals and Rainbows was going to be the centerpiece of the entire presentation at Crystal Con. There was of course the trailer that half the art department worked on for the next expansion of World of Horsecraft. Ascension had become one of the hottest topics according to both studies ran by Discord and Accord. They really needed to get him checked out eventually. Either way it was time to get ready... the only problem was the small stipulation created from their agreement with Tirek. At their best they decided to make a phone app to keep him satisfied.

"Looks like this is going to be a very eventful Crystal Con. What do you think Hope?"

"I'm going to be so happy. I'm gonna be able to announce my idea right?"

"Of course dear. I'll be there just to support you."

"Hopefully this little one will wait until after the Con to come out."

"So now we have to create that new threat for Horsecraft as well. We probably won't be releasing the information of the new characters until after the con is over unless Discord finishes up everything before then. How much does he have to finish anyways?"

"He's figured out how to attach the new characters and has also made sure to create some specialty classes for these new characters."

"How are the beta testers enjoying Crystals and Rainbows?"

"Everything is going well and we're pushing through with the family castle very soon. Very soon indeed."

She rested her head on Sombra as the two looked over the numbers and eventually settled on the showpiece. Crystal Con would be memorable.

"Screwball dear have you seen the new models for both Horsecraft and C&R?"

"Here you go daddy. I worked on the animations for you."

"My dear you have truly gone above and beyond what I expected. Have you managed to clean up Accord's 'contributions'?"

"Well, I managed to fix the weird boss 'you' made for the new game."

Discord rubbed his head. He really needed to get that Accord fixed somehow. For too long the personality had come out at random to mess with his chaotic world view. It was annoying but he ignored it the best he could.

On his flash drive were the new characters being added and the extras for Crystals and Rainbows. He still needed to get Chrysalis to agree to the changes before he could let them be put into game.

Chrysalis looked over her workload for Crystal Con and made sure to get through the changeling logs. While she was mortified by how Chrysalis was taken out she did manage to get a special stipulation for her own expansion that wouldn't require Sombra to be around. It wasn't the best but at least she would eventually get her own expansion.

"What is it Discord?"

"You know what I'm here for. We gotta come to an agreement on this otherwise we won't have anything to show for this expansion."

Chrysalis snarled. She hated the idea but... it would give her better things to work with when the next expansion came out. As well as include her sisters in the fun eventually. While she was unwilling to fully agree to it she decided to have Thorax be the representative.

"Fine but only if Thorax does a good job. If he doesn't I'm gonna tan his hide. DO YOU HEAR ME THORAX!!"

"Y-Y-YES!!"

Discord smirked before slinking off to speak details with Thorax. Chrysalis was still fuming but this was probably the best way to handle things while still being herself. No one would ever call her soft while doing things this way.

Session 61.4 Alex Warlorn

(Continued from Session 60.3 Devcon101.)

"And Flim and Flam current own the largest Casino in Los Pegasus, due to the original owner being caught on fraud charger, never having any heirs or successors, and were able to grab it while it was up in the air, and that is why they had enough money to buy the rights to Star Mars," Diamond Tiara explained to her country classmate, when Apple Bloom had been left very confused on how Flim and Flam could have bought the rights to the movie franchise.

Meanwhile, the girls were doing a follow up adventure of "Specter Deflectors."

"And so you see, oh great, beautiful, and truly divine above all others Queen Tiamat, Dragon Lord of Dragon Lords," Rarity laid it on thick hoping Twilight would give modifies if she played this to the hilt. "BY the time the destroyer god had returned to their own realm, did we remember that our two friends were still possessed by their servants and gone back to their realm with them... so... if you'd be so kind... as the legendary rival and rightful superior of said rival... could you please um... provide a round trip to the destroyer god's realm so we can rescue our friends please?"

Session 61.5 Alex Warlorn UPDATED!!!

"Adagio, how long as you going to go on about this? There just isn't enough power left in that mirror to do ANYTHING besides make whoever owns it look pretty!" Aria complained."Or badflank in my case."

"You're right... there's not enough to make three new pendants... but on the other hand..." Adagio took the piece of glass from the mirror and pressing her palms together, instead of getting bloody, the piece glowed and shifted form... becoming a clear version of Adagio's old pendant. The Siren instantly began laughing even more manically than she was already prone to.
"COOL!" Sonata said then wiggled her fingers at a desk of paper work, "Become a taco!" Nothing happened.

Her big sisters ignored her.

"Nice trick... except, EVEN I CAN SENSE that thing is EMPTY... it has no power! And are you bailing on us?"

"Would big sister ever do that to you?"

"YES!"

"Well... with this I can easily spawn two new pendants... heck, imagine if we could corrupt some of these dump monkeys into upgrading to a new species without even realizing it under the skin! ... But all that aside, this things just needs enough negativity to awaken."

"Unless you're looking to start another genocide, we're not gonna be finding that much hate."

"Oh yes we are... you forget where we work now?"

Adagio handed her sister a flier.

"A... a Live Action MOBA?! A MLARPBA!?! How the Father Dagon Who Sleeps In the Depths do you even pronounce that?!"

"Not important."

"How did you even organize this?!"

"In honor of Crystal Con... unofficially... 'Protect Ocean Life' charity."

"Didn't you set that Charity up yourself in the 60s?...Then manipulate a march to turn into a riot against Sea World one time? And how did you do this?"

"Just because I don't have mind control music doesn't mean I can't charm these stupid apes in other ways."

"So where is it gonna be... Canterlot High... at midnight... on the night of the full moon?!"

"Yes... And if you know ANYTHING about MOBAs... they are HEAVING, PULSATING, DUNG-HEAPS of toxicity at other players. The only thing better at that is Neigh of Duty's online scene, but Crystal Soft doesn't own that one... it'll fill up the new pendant in no time! And the flow of Equestrian Magic will be stronger than ever! And I've set up the rules as much as I could to encourage the players to be as toxic to each other as possible WITHOUT it being obvious. AND! I've kept our names completely off it! But with a charity like this... our enemies will be drawn to it like bees to honey."

"You think they're that stupid?"

-

"GIRLS!" Fluttershy said. "They're holding a charity game at the school at night!"

Rainbow Dash took and read the flier. "This sounds super awesome!"

"Get special bonus' for good cosplay? I have this in the bag for us darling." Rarity smiled.

-

The Cutie Mark Crusaders sat a table... opposite of their rivals... the 'Anti-Crusauders' Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, and Babs Seed. Both parities looking down at a flier.

"This is sure to get our names notice we if win this!" Scootaloo declared.

"And Ah've got just the things to give us an edge!"

"And I got stuff I can borrow that Rarity will never miss for our costumes!"

Diamond Tiara smirked. "Okay girls, time to break out the credit cards, and make sure mom and dad don't notice we're out late... "

"But doesn't that defeat the point of the prize?" Babs asked.

Silver Spoon put an gentle hand on Bab's. "Babs, the point isn't the prize, it's winning. And Tiara, there's no need to be sneaky, they make us stay out late anyway for stupid charities, this time we can have FUN while doing on!"

"Oh! You're right! Okay!"

-

"This'll show we've turned over a new leaf when we crush the competition by any means necessary for charity," Sunny Flare said with no irony or sarcasm. Sugarcoat just rolled her eyes for once.

"This is gonna be so cool!" Lemon Zest declared. "I've got just the battle midi I've written to go for our team!"

Sour-Sweet remarked, "That would be cool and I'm sure it'll be fun! ... AND EVEN COOLER IF YOU'D DONE THAT WHEN WE WERE SCRAMBLING FOR A SONG! Why didn't we?!"

Sugarcoat said, "Because Lemon Zest's compositions tend to be brash and repetitive, perfect for video games."

"Uh, thanks I guess?"

"Hey girls! I'm back! I'm back! Did we win!? And... do I get the feeling I missed something?" Indigo Zapped rushed in.

OOC: PLEASE!!! IF ANYONE FEELS LIKE ADDING TO THIS ONE! GO AHEAD!!!

Session 61.6 Kendell2

One thousand years later

The group of eight Alicorns and one Ryujin sat at the table, still playing O&O. Of course now they had the option of various far more advanced means to do so, but even with that sometimes going back to the good old fashioned way was just fun.

"Hey, remember that one time Spike came up with that wicked storyline starting with that messenger?" Princess Rainbow Dash asked, giving a smirk.

None noticed the Dragon God of Metal (the elemental force of nature, not the music style. Another pony had gotten that position, right behind Vinyl Scratch being goddess of Dubstep and Octavia being Goddess of Classical Music) and Guardian of Equestria's eye twitch.

"Oh yes, darling, such an exciting little quest..." Princess Rarity replied, giving a smile. "Such a nice little mystery, Spike really is a good storyteller when he tried tah be."

"Yeah, leadin' us tah that dragon's horde was fun," Princess Applejack replied, smirking. "Didn't get tah fight a dragon, but the horde of bandits that showed up was fun."

Spike face palmed with the force of a magnitude 8 earthquake and mentally remembered to never have messengers die at their feet EVER again.

-

"Sombra, did you notice something about our music staff?" Chrysalis asked.

"Like what?"

"Like her laughing manically while looking at the poster for the charity game..." the VP replied with a deadpan look.

"Discord must be rubbing off on them..." Sombra muttered, looking over as Discord walked past the poster for his WoH expansion and started laughing manically, complete with personal special effects he'd somehow wired into his phone.

Session 61.7 Alex Warlorn

"Hey Twilight." Sunset told the other Alicorn Princess... by order of the Princesses, they were forbidden to play chess against each other, EVER AGAIN... so they were playing Harmony The Gathering instead. "I just want to say, thanks for singing that part of 'Dance Magic', Twilight, our Twilight, I MEAN OTHER TWILIGHT!" Sunset corrected herself seeing the hurt look on Princess Twilight's face. "Is more into classical singing than J-pop. She was able to lip sync with your recording well enough though."

"You're... you're welcome Sunset it was... it was fun to help ..." Princess Twilight said as politely as possible.

(Would pay money, to see this expanded into a short fanfic.)

Session 61.8 Devcon101

One thousand years in the future...

Round a large circular table sat five musical goddesses playing a good ol' game of poker: Octavia, goddess of classical music; Vinyl Scratch, goddess of dubstep; Octavia's mother, Power Chord, goddess of rock music; Vinyl's mother, Sounding Point, goddess of violins; and finally, Saxy, who had become the goddess of jazz.

Well, in actuality only Octavia, Vinyl and Saxy sat around the table at the moment; while they had been playing previously, Power Chord and Sounding Point's bitter rivalry had resulted in them breaking away from the game and entering into yet another battle of hoofticuffs.

Saxy kicked her back legs up on the table, leaning back in her seat as she examined her cards. "...So, how's being a god going for you two?"

Octavia and Vinyl looked at one another. "It's actually been rather uneventful lately. You?"

Saxy sighed. "Tried again to get Dad to let me share card-based gambling as a domain. I mean, he gets gambling overall, so you'd think he could share one type. But no. So he and I decided to play a game of poker; the pony who came out with the most cash got to take the domain."

Octavia raised a brow as she tried to steal a peak at Vinyl's cards, but to no avail. "I'm assuming Dad won?"

Saxy chuckled. "Nope. Neither of us did...it's a long story. But I did manage to get him to share with me a little something; gambling luck. It's not much, but it'll do."

Octavia sat with a stoic expression. "...You wouldn't have happened to have gained a sort of "aura of luck" upon gaining that domain, would you?"

Her, Saxy and Vinyl put down their cards, revealing a tie; each had a royal flush, as they had every game since they started.

"Yeah, why?"

Session 61.9 Alex Warlorn

Princess Sweetie said, "Button Mash, are you okay?"

"HI!"

"But the pegasus gave you free rides to all the shrines, and the sages just gave the pendants to defeat Grogar without any trouble. You should be happy."

"YA!"

"You know all that, but you just feel empty somehow? Like big pieces of the world had been gutted?"

+++

"Uh, Miss Starlight Glimmer, I'm not sure about this rom hack you made of Legend of Cadence." Button Mash said uncertain.

"What? I got rid of all those silly dungeons and side quests. This way the hero can focus on saving the world instead of wasting time on distractions and delays from his main goal."

Session 61.10 Alex Warlorn

"So what happened with the mind control contest?" Dog Spike chatted with Dragon Spike.

"Well, Starlight Glimmer came in first place... " Spike the dragon typed back.

-

"I'd like to buy some strawberries please."

"Whatever you want Starlight Glimmer." Strawberry Sunrise said with pinprick eyes and a happy smile.

-

"We're still trying to clean all that up... "

"Who came in second?" Dog Spike typed.

"Well..."

-

"Hey big sister! You came in second!" Sonata cheered.

"AAAAGH!!! THAT'S A NICE WAY TO SAY 'LOSER!'"

-

"Twilight came in third... she's hidden the bronze medal with the swirlie mark where nopony can see it."

"Sunset told me she came in forth... She seemed kinda frustrated about it... said something about 'being out of practice, need to get my game on.'"

"Well... hopefully she was just blowing off steam... Chrysalis came in fifth, since she brainwashed herself early ... the judges say that technically that means Diamond TIara came in sixth... and Discord..." Spike the Dragon shivered.

-

Discord stamped around Fluttershy's cottage like an angry toddler, letting out fifth-dimensional cuss words that had Fluttershy shuddering in the past, present, and future, and had Human Fluttershy, and Mirror Fluttershy, shuddering even if they didn't know why.

"Now now Discord, I won't have that kind of language in my house," she was holding a bar of soap with one wing.

'She's not kidding.' Angel held up a sign saying, he still tasted the soap from some dirty poems he'd shown the animals (that he'd gotten from Scootaloo, who had gotten them from Rainbow Dash).

"FINE!" Discord pouted crossing his arms and folding his legs, floating in the air.

"Uh... you could turn me into Fluttercruel for a few minutes if that'll make you feel better."

"... It's not the same, but thank you for the offer dear."

Session 61.11 Kendell2

Meanwhile in the 10th dimension:

10th Dimensional Rainbow Dash cussed, making each of the incalculable versions of her friends across the omniverse shudder for reasons they did not comprehend.

"RAINBOW DASH!" said 10D Fluttershy. "LANGUAGE!" she said, sticking a piece of 10th dimensional soap in Rainbow's mouth.

"Gak!" said human Rainbow Dash, pony Rainbow Dash, Mirror Rainbow Dash, and countless other Rainbow Dashes at once. "Why did I just taste soap for a second?!"

Session 61.12 Kendell2

Rarity gave a growl. "What is this trash?!" she said, having been checking a video game to make sure it was safe for Sweetie to play.

Applejack trotted over. "What's the problem?"

"They portray Celestia as some sort of tyrant who enslaves everypony to worship her!" Rarity muttered. "Do the Neighponese really mean that? Or do they just hate religion..."

"Oh come now, Rare," said Applejack, raising an eyebrow. "The Neighponese don't hate religion, just have a different view of it is all...Heck, they have their own, just real different than ours."

Rarity gave a glare. "You simply can't honestly tell me this doesn't upset you!"

"It does, just Ah get somethin' called values dissonance..." Applejack said.

"I understand that with Griffons eating meat while we don't, but not with depicting our RULER and to some our goddess as a monster? That's clearly crossing a line."

"It's just a game Rare."

Applejack trotted along through town later that day...

"Applejack! Darling!" called Rarity's typical sing song voice. "Please come over here, darling."

Applejack did as she was asked...and growled, finding herself looking at Strawberry Sunrise again. "...What now?"

"Oh, dear Strawberry was talking about this country life novel she was planning on writing..." said Rarity. "Mind telling her, darling?"

"Yeah. Everything's all dirty and smelling, the main character is dating their cousin, and they all dress in suspenders and have buck teeth," said the mare in that cheery voice that made her words get further under her skin with each sentence. "They're also real technophobes, all tradition no common sense. None of them went to college either."

Applejack's face turned red. "Not a lick of that is close tah true! If yah go and publish that hogwash it'll make mah whole family look bad!"

"Now, Applejack," said Rarity. "She doesn't hate the country. She just has a different understanding of it. And it's 'just a book' after all."

Applejack's rage suddenly turned to humiliation. "...Dang it..."

"Now do you see my point?" asked Rarity.

"Yeah..."

Applejack was beginning to think Strawberry wasn't exactly speaking her mind as being Tirek's Advocate whenever Rarity needed somepony for the role...

Or she was just a troll.

Session 61.13 Alex Warlorn

"This is so exciting. I told you idiots this would happen!" Sour Sweet snapped.

"Technically Sweet told us we'd get in trouble, then Sour said it would be worth it," Sugarcoat said.

"HEY! I don't do that... anymore."

"No, you actually take your medication now."

"SHUT IT!"

The Shadowbolts, going along the edges of the game world map, had found another forbidden area, being constructed in game for the next expansion. The Shadowbolts had actually made it a hobby getting past the invincible 'guard' monsters meant to keep players away.

The area was all bare bones, no monsters or treasure had been added in yet, even structures, and not even place holder NPCs. There was no real hint of what the next expansion would be.

Except... they found Discord's stone statue ... or a statue.

"Isn't his statue back in the Garden Maze in the new update?" Funny Flare said. "For those who don't want to go through the whole quest line to fight him?"

"Maybe they're just using it as a place holder?" Lemon Zest wondered.

"OR MAYBE I HAVE A BIG ROLE TO PLAY IN THE UPDATE! Lemon Zest, Indigo Zap, Sugarcoat, Sunny Flare, and Sour Sweet!"

They all gasped in terror.

It was Discord, the statue had suddenly come to life and become the villain, and he was speaking, his HP right now was listed as in the billions,

This wasn't unusual. But he think audibly addressed them, BY THEIR REAL NAMES, it wasn't the mechanical tone of text-to-speech, it was too smooth and fluid to be a clipped together mix of audio sounds.

This wasn't pre-recorded dialogue. And Sugarcoat noted the most likely reason unless they'd stepped into a bad horror movie where video game characters came to life and ensnared players into the game in a futile fight for their lives... or had encountered an evil world conquering AI, or that dreaded illogical stuff 'magic' going about. World of Horsecraft had so far to have been clean of magic, and maybe it was a desire to NOT have every aspect of their lives now circle around physics defying forces seeping out of an alternate universe, and if it was an evil world conquering AI, it would have better things to do than mess around with players in an MMO.

Back to her original point. Most likely they were face to face with a system admin. In a forbidden area.

"MERCY!" Lemon Zest shouted, selecting the 'Supplication Before The System Admin' pose for her character. "You won't believe me, but I'm your adopted daughter in another universe! You wouldn't ban family would you?!"

Discord went 'tut tut.'

"Now now, if it was AGAINST THE RULES, rather than a CHALLENGE for you girls to be here... the developers would just make this area LITERALLY impossible to get here before it's ready rather than just place a monster stronger than all the end campaign bosses put together with trillions of hit points."

"... That is... logical," Sugarcoat said, feel awkward and strange.

"Maybe... we did find that cache of hidden objects in that dungeon in that other forbidden zone ... and we found that unique item."

"It brainwashed the real us. I was lying through my teeth to make everything sound as pleasant as possible. Indigo Zap was rambling about 'Now everybody wins!' Lemon Zest was listening to extremely quite classical music. Sour Sweet... acted pretty much the same except Sour was sweet and Sweet was sour. And Sunny Flare... well, you normally have as much personality as a rock (no wait, that's an insult to rocks) so you actually had opinions and views about things."

"HEY!"

"It's true."

'Oh right, that thought' Discord thought. 'The Mirror of Chaos.' That old prototype brainwashing program that would make players act in opposite to their core personality trait, that Sombra had rejected as 'insane, and welcoming a million lawsuits' Discord had MEANT to get around to deleting it... He'd placed it inside a treasure chest among several treasure chests full of worthless junk items, in an unaccessible part of the game world's unfinished dungeon with obvious glitches everywhere with powerful monsters with low experience and treasure yield. 'No one would be so obsessive compulsive to find it,' he'd told himself.

"HEY GIRLS! If you'll sign a teeny tiny online non-disclosure agreement between you and this total handsome and completely innocent programmer at Crystalsoft, I can give you girls a little something in exchange, you can think of it as helping lay down the ground work for the next expansion's lore. Just tell all the players how it was a gift from Discord."

-

"'Chaos Knight'?" Rising_Sun said looking up at the character prestige class the Shadowbolts now all had.

"Is this another hack?" Honest_Apple remarked.

"No no no!" Wild_Muzac said, "It was, ahem, a gift from our Lord Discord!"

REAL_Princess instantly logged out and logged onto another section of the game.

-

"I SWEAR I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!" I'm_A_Banana screamed as REAL_Princess blasted Discord's in game character over and over again.

-

"You gave them early access to an unfinished character class?!" Sombra cried out.

"Just setting up the lore and building up hype t the next expansion."

"We're still writing up the lore for the expansion!"

"I'm thinking of having a Chaos Knight exclusive quest where they put down a rogue Alicorn based on the one the hackers used... sound like fun?" Discord suggested.

"NO!" Sombra snorted.

"Well, in the expansion we're already changing the end of the Discorded Ponies path from ending in a jump scare and automatic logging out to unlocking the prestige class Chaos Knight. So this is a prelude to get players interested. Which I'll say again ruins the narrative we were going for." Human Discord snorted. "It's going to mangle the lore!"

"Too many players know about it now! It doesn't serve any purpose anymore! None of the players really play it anymore except occasional 'Let's Plays'. It's best to put it to better use now," Sombra said.

"AND! I will note, these five almost had the highest score of the entire gaming community on the Discorded Ponies route, but Dark Lord of All and Fairest of Them All couldn't be reached. And Adagio and her friends don't play the game much... even if they keep asking for custom avatars."

"Ugh!" He hated it when Discord did this sort of thing on his own.

Session 61.14 Devcon101

Recently, after making a partnership with the people behind O&O, Enchanted Comics had began releasing enchanted O&O comic lines. One of the comic lines was based on the Hotblood War, not only providing an entertaining story but also giving quite a bit more information on it.

While Carrot Top was not too fond of the Hotblood War, as she enjoyed aligning demons, devils, yugoloths and other lower plane denizens, she could not resist the idea of playing the role of a fiend. So, after convincing Written Script to accompany her, the two entered the comic.

Written Script blinked as he entered into the comic, taking a look around him. He appeared to be on a massive warship, sailing along a giant river, which, upon looking closely, he swore he could see the agonized faces of ponies within. Around him were countless devils, ranging from (if the descriptions he remembered from Carrot Top's lectures on devil lore were true) the lowly Lemures, to the Goatee Devils, to the Glacier Devils; there were even a few Stable Fiends, the greatest of all devils.

He proceeded to look at himself, wondering whom he had become. Based on the sheer number of long, barbed rope that he was near mummified within, he could only assume he had become a Rope Devil.

He took a look around for Carrot Top, not knowing whom she'd become, but it didn't take long till he spotted her. And upon doing so, he blushed, jaw dropping. Within view was an Ereignyes, a female devil warrior clad in shiny black armor, a blue Lasso of Entanglement on her side. It was clear to him that, judging by the fact that said Ereignyes had the exact coat color, mane color and mane style of Carrot Top, this was indeed her. And dare he say she looked even more glamorous than in real life.

"Hubba hubba..." he muttered, a sickle trickle of drool running down from the corner of his hung open mouth. The Ereignyes looked over and smiled, giving him a wink, which only made his face redder.

He was snapped out of his stupor as another devil tapped on his shoulder. Before he could even turn around his nostrils were invaded by one of the strongest perfume scents he ever had smelled. He gagged, eyes watering, as he turned to face the devil. Said devil strongly resembled Carrot Top, having her same mane style and figure, with some key differences: one, her coat and mane were in different shades of purple; two, it was evident she was much chubbier than Carrot Top normally was; three, two large, black, bat wings sprouted from her back; and four, she had on plenty of make-up, most notably the bright red lipstick she wore. The corruption devil's large, sharp-toothed maw was curled into a frown, her beady eyes narrowed at him.

She spoke in an irritated tone, her voice quite familiar. "You do realize that isn't me, right?"

Written Script blinked, realizing his mistake, and his mouth curled in a guilty smile as he let out a nervous chuckle."H-hello honey..."

Session 61.15 JDMiles

Having finally exited the portal, Rainbow Dash noticed that she was no longer in her Roadrunner form, much to her relief. "Ah! It's good to be back baby!" She smiled as she looked around, realising she was in a familiar environment. "Oh great, Maretropolis again..." She sighed as she started stretching. "Well, better find the Mane-Iac and stop... her...?" She began before noticing exactly what she was wearing. She was dressed in a grey hooded cloak, under which was a purple bodysuit that obscured her mouth while her eyes glowed a menacing yellow under the hood, a black utility belt, and steel gauntlets around her hooves. "Huh, neat!"

"Rainbow Dash!" The cyan Pegasus turned to see Spike rushing towards her. "We've been looking for you! We went through this whole ordeal with singing frog, then we feel through a polthole and-oh wow, how'd you become Shadowmane?"

"Shadow-who? Not sure about that, but what's with the bizarre outfit?" She asked, glancing behind Spike to see the rest of her friends pulling themselves out of a pile just as a portal over them closed.

Spike blinked as he looked himself over, only to realize that he wasn't Humdrum this time, he now had a cape that was black on the outside yet red on the inside, and oversized top hat, and an obviously fake mustache, the kind that stereotypically over-the-top villains would twirl while laughing evilly. "Seriously, I'm Dastardly Whiplash?! He's a two-bit villain who barely counts as comic relief!" He groaned as he turned around.... only find his jaw hitting the floor when he saw exactly what had become of his friends.

Twilight Sparkle was now dressed as a Pharaoh, wearing what looked like a gold and blue-striped Egyptian headdress with a braided false beard and matching golden necklace. "Ok... I know I'm technically Royalty, but this is a bit much..."

"Pharaoh Phetlock!?"

Applejack wore a red bodysuit, a blue forehead protector that covered her forehead and cheeks with a red horn attached, knee-high leggings and blue high-heel shoes. "How the hay do ah walk in these things!?"

"High Heel!?"

Fluttershy as dressed up a mime wearing a striped shirt, a French beret, and had several files of various formulas attached to her belt. "Um... am I still allowed to talk?"

"Long-Face!?"

Pinkie Pie... was a slimy pink and red pony-shaped blob. "Ohhh~ I'm all gooey!"

"Smudge..."

"AAAHHH!!" Rarity screamed in terror. "MY HAIR! MY BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL HAIR!!"

Everyone turned to see that Rarity had become none-other than the Mane-Iac! Her normally refined hair now a crazy mess of purple tentacles. "WHAT IN EQUESTRIA IS GOING ON HERE?!"

"We are in the Power Ponies world again... BUT THIS TIME WE ARE THE VILLAINS!" Spike exclaimed in horror.

"Well well well..." A new voice called out, prompting the group to look up. Standing atop one of the skyscrapers were none other than the Power Ponies themselves, however unlike the usual situations where the mane six themselves had become these Heroes, their mane and coat colors underneath the masks and costumes made it pretty clear that these were completely different ponies. Humdrum was even a young Colt with a green coat and mane.

"It seems that our greatest enemies have all gathered together..." The Masked Matter-Horn exclaimed. "...and Dastardly Whiplash is here too..."

"HEY!"

"Enough talk, let's do this!" Zap shouted, prompting the rest of the heroes to jump down towards them.

Spike gulped as he backed away, only the trip over himself and drop his hat. Looking inside he saw a note.

{ YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN GOOD AT PLAYING THE HEROES, NOW LET'S SEE HOW WELL YOU DO AS THE VILLAIN. YOUR OBJECTIVE TAKE OVER THE CITY AND DEFEAT THE HEROES, THINK YOU CAN MANAGE IT? }

"Uh-Oh..."

______

(Special note for those who are unfamiliar with the other villains, they were introduced in the IDW annual of 2014. To get more context on these characters check the link below:

http://view-comic.com/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-annual-2014/

Enjoy!)

Session 61.16 Mtangalion

"Yes, yes, yes!" Twilight practically danced her way towards her computer, a soda can in one hand and a plate of microwaved pizza in the other. "The new patch will be installed in only one more minute and twenty-four seconds!"

In the video chat window on her second monitor, Shining Armor chuckled. "What's got you in such a tizzy, Twily?"

Spike padded over to the camera, obstructing their view. "Seriously? Today's the day the new Draco Island update comes out. It's our first look at the juvenile dragons that might be playable in the next expansion!" The purple pup smirked, wagging his tail. "How can you not know about this stuff? Turn in your Geek Card!"

Cadence leaned into the camera frame and kissed her husband on the cheek. "Unfortunately, World of Horsecraft isn't the most family-friendly game."

Shining nodding, putting an arm around her. "At least I get to play some Crystals and Rainbows when I'm not doing the epic daily quest to slay the dirty diapers."

Twilight nudged Spike off her keyboard. "It's ready, it's ready! Logging in now!" Her smile froze. "Connection lost? No, no..." She frantically typed her login info again. "Come on... World full, login queue... 6,320?!!" She snatched her phone and started dialing.

Spike groaned. "Uh, Twilight? What are you doing?"

Twilight rose from her computer chair, burning with determination. "Calling CrystalSoft to offer to help, of course!"

Rainbow Dash pumped a fist. "Yes! I'm in the new zone!" On her monitor, all the player characters started running in place, and then a disconnect notice popped up. "And... I'm out of the new zone." She got up from her desk, shrugging broadly. "Whatever, no biggie. I can get in some more soccer practice before dark."

Then her phone started beeping. She glanced at it, then thumbed the screen to answer the call. "Hey, G! Are you getting disconnected too?"

"Um, actually it's me," said the voice of Ember the talking dog. "I think something's wrong with Mistress Gilda! She's sitting on the back of her chair and stabbing the button-thing every time her magic box makes the unhappy noise. Plus she keeps saying all those words she told me not to say, like ‘Buck this bucking...'"

"Okay, okay!" said Rainbow quickly. "I get the picture! Don't let her smash anything until I fly over..."

Sunset Shimmer glared at her computer. "It's okay. Really, it's fine. My life doesn't revolve around some video game. I'll just go... do something else for a while. I could watch a show. Do my homework. Anything, really." She walked away... and then rushed back to push the enter key and try to log in just one more time. "Dang!"

Her phone rang, and she answered it with a sigh. "Hello," she deadpanned. "Equestrian Magic Crisis Hotline, state the nature of your..." Her eyebrows shot up. "Bon Bon? How did you get this number? I can explain..." She fell silent, listening. "Could you repeat that, please? ... You went to Fluttershy's for pet adoption advice and found a giant bear in her house... Don't call animal control! The bear is Fluttershy... Hello? Hello!?"

In the background, Sunset heard something smash, and a voice roared, "That's a bad Mister Login Queue. You won't let me play? YOU'LL RUE THE DAY!"

Sunset grabbed her motorcycle keys. "I so wish that one had been a wrong number."

Mr. Snow stood in President Sombra's office, annoyed enough to whip off his mirror shades for emphasis. "It's not another hacking attempt, sir." He held up a hair dryer, dangling it by the cord. "Someone unplugged the main server so they could plug this in. You're still paying my fee, by the way."

Sombra slammed his fists on the desk. "Zephyr Breeze! Remind me, why does he still have a job at this company?!"

Gabby the Intern yawned profusely, exhausted from trying to solve the issue herself with Gilda on vacation, and wired on three cups of coffee at the same time. "Nobody else wanted to test eight-thousand new mane style and color combinations."

Session 61.17 Ardashir

"I am NEVER doing one of these things again!" Twilight yelled as she galloped through the rocky hills from their pursuer. Applejack and Rarity, the only two of her friends left 'alive' in this issue, raced along beside her. They cringed at this latest of her nonstop complaints. "Who thought THIS was a good idea for a story?!?"

Twilight tried her wings once more and found they still didn't work.

"Ha! Ha! Foolish flesh-mare!" Their pursuer yelled after them. Twilight didn't want to look, but she glanced back. The villainous Ro-Mare in this special issue of 'Enchanted Comics Pulp Reprints' was gaining on them. It looked like a Changeling with a diving helmet for a head. The monster cackled, "Have you forgotten? I have re-tuned the Calcinator Death Ray! Now it prevent even YOUR Element-enhanced magic from working! Ha! Ha! Ha!"

Twilight tried not to scream in disgust.

"That dialogue! This PLOT! UGH!"

Beside Ro-Mare floated the 'Calcinator Death Ray' it had supposedly used to destroy all life on Equis, except for her and her friends, protected as they were by the Elements of Harmony. It patted the machine, which looked to Twilight for all the world like a malfunctioning washing machine. Bubbles were coming out of it.

"Better run faster, Twi," Applejack had to force the words out between whickers of laughter. "Ah think Ro-Mare is catchin' up with us!"

Twilight's eye twitched at the sound of more -- she supposed it had to be called 'dialogue' -- came from their pursuer.

"I cannot destroy you - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do 'must' and 'cannot' meet? Yet I must - but I cannot!"

"You could always reconsider obeying the Great Intelligence, darling," Rarity began to say, before a massive cloud of bubbles from the machine washed over her and Applejack. Twilight rolled her eyes to see what it left. A pair of perfectly articulated equine skeletons, each still bearing its mane and tail. They stood upright for a moment, and collapsed.

"That makes no sense whatever!" Twilight yelled.

"Ro-Mare science is beyond your puny understanding, primitive!"

Twilight saw before her what she wanted to see. The cliffside a paralyzed Pinkie and Dash had been hurled over after Fluttershy was disintegrated for trying to make peace with Ro-Mare.

"Hey, stop!" One last yell came behind her. "We've still got twenty minutes of story left!"

"The hay we do!" Twilight gave a gloating whoop she she leaped over the cliffside and saw the beautiful bottom of the canyon rushing up to greet her.

***

"Who WROTE this manure?" Twilight yelled as soon as she came out of the comic. On the cover Ro-Mare was shown activating the Calcinator Death Ray, wth lightning bolts lashing out at Canterlot. The half-hidden laughter on her friends' faces didn't help in the least. "Ugh! Girls! You can't seriously have liked this! It was so awful! Fluttershy, they destroyed all life in Equestria, and then on the planet."

"Um, well, normally I wouldn't like that." Fluttershy stifled a laugh behind one butter-yellow hoof. "But this was so awful nopony could take it seriously."

"Come on, Twi," Applejack set one hoof over her friend's withers. "Ah mean, yeah it's as dumb as all heck..."

"The villain was a Changeling Queen with a diving helmet for a head, and the 'monsters' were oversized baby alligators with fins glued to their backs." Twilight nearly growled. She picked up the comic with her magic. Her horn began to glow brightly. The comic began to smolder right around the author's name. "If I ever find out who 'Amazing Hackwork' is..." She let her threat trail off. "I despise these pulp magazines! Why did Enchanted Comics ever sign a deal with them?"

"Beats me, but I bet someponies are raking in the bits," Pinkie said, looking innocent. She flinched as Rainbow Dash gave her a light swat with one hoof.

"Heh! Yeah," Dash rolled her eyes skywards. "I mean, everypony knows how you feel about those pulp magazines. Even if they sell really well, and some of those writers make lots of money they can use for, uh, various noble causes."

"What a shame we'll never know who the author is," both mares finished at once, ignoring the odd looks their friends gave them. Whistling, the two mares left for the next room.

Behind them Twilight slowly began incinerating the comic.

"Uh, ya think we oughta tell Twi the truth so she can get over it?" Dash asked Pinkie Pie, secretly the other half of the 'Amazing Hackwork' writing team. From the door they watched Twilight cackle with glee as she slowly reduced the issue of 'Robot Mare-ster' to ashes.

"Maybe it'd be best to wait before we show her what we did for 'The Giant Paw', Dashie," Pinkie said. "Like, a really long time."

Session 61.18 Alex Warlorn

Darkest Oubliette was being played by the ponies of Ponyville again. Only now it was being hosted by Doctor Whooves. They were playing the expanded version that included the Crimson Court, a collection of mosquito like vampires aristocrats from The Ancestor's early days. Nested in a swamp filled with the vile blood-suckers.

Note Worthy hadn't been able to make his regular visit (Lyra insisted to Bon Bon that they were just friends), that left them short a Crusader, the only member of the party that could heal.

Bon Bon was playing a Bounty Hunter, Vinyl was playing a Jester. With the spot for Jester taken, Lyra had been pressured to take a Vestal, not because she wanted to, but because the party needed a healer, and Octavia had taken Hellion for this particular adventure, just wanting to see what it was like to unleash your fury on the battle field.

Vinyl's character had the misfortune of being infected by the crimson curse by a giant mosquito ... which meant her character would grow weaker and crazier the longer she wasn't given blood, and if left in the hamlet unattended, was likely to spread the infection to other waiting heroes.

But the game did allow the heroes to be treated at the Sanitarium IF they could find and defeat the countess.

Their characters slugging through swamp, and finding her lair, Doctor Whooves hadn't gotten halfway through his narrative when-

"COUNTESS! I STILL LOVE YOUR MUSIC! COME BACK TO ME!" Vinyl All capped out at seeing the figure used to represent the blood sucking Countess.

-

"Rara had her old image used for that horrid game?" Rarity asked.

"She figured it would be satisfying see that version of herself get beaten by heroes over and over," Applejack explained.

-

"DON'T YOU KNOW HOW MUCH YOU INSPIRED ME?! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TURN TO THE DARK SIDE!" Vinyl continued to type out.

"Uh... does this count as an out of game madness check?" Lyra asked awkwardly.

Octavia rolled her eyes. "She gets this way every time somepony reminds her that Countess isn't a thing anymore... "

Session 61.19 Alex Warlorn

"As recorded by HP Horsecraft, after the clan of Dra-Gon seaponies that spawned Adagio Dazzle, Sonata Dusk, and Aria Blaze were banished from Aquastria... they wandered the shores, and they found the town of Hoof-In-Mouth... where they met another clan of outcasts... those also banished from their own kind... a tribe of changeling no longer with a queen of their own... And were willing to welcome the grace of a new god, so... finding kindred spirits... in spite of having opposite diets, they welcomed their new 'friends.' But soon, friendship might have been actually not strong enough a word. They bred. Resulting in some THINGS they were not sirens, and were not changeling, but some abominable spawn, creating an entire new life cycle. When born, they'd resemble normal ponies, but after reaching adulthood would enter their next phase, and turn into a twisted combination of the siren and changeling, something that could feed on all emotions.

"This left ponies afterwards fed on them as truly emotionless, with no hatred or love in them... just empty shells. These forms became so putride and vile, that were said to drive ponies mad simply by laying eyes upon their true form!"

"Poindexster! Just stop!" Cadence admonished. "The seaponies and the changelings are all our friends now. We can't go writing stories about mixed couple breeding unspeakable mutant monsters. HP Horsecraft was a brilliant writer who underestimated his own talent, but he was also rather phobic of tribes 'mingling' thinking it would 'pollute their bloodlines'. I know his work is famous, but I don't think this would go over well as a module as ponies are just getting used to the idea that not all changelings are the enemy."

+++

"HORSEAPPLES!HORSEAPPLES!HORSEAPPLES!" Bon Bon shouted as she ran through the streets of Hoof-In-Mouth, the local Deep Ponies having formed a blood thirsty mob. "Could this day get any worse?!"

"HORSEAPPLES!HORSEAPPLES!HORSEAPPLES!" Maternity Love Tap cursed, wiping her brow running right into (not literally) Bon Bon.

"I spoke too soon." Bon Bon sighed.

"What are you doing here?!" The konichi pointed.

"Investigating!"

"You're retired and your organization was disbanded!"

"So are you, and so was yours! And don't you have a husband and son to worry about?!"

"You have Lyra and Tootsie Flute, so don't go pulling that card on me!"

The two mares heard a unnatural hymn being sung, that threaten to dull their sap their feelings just from listening to it.

= Yellow Diamond Theme - Steven Universe =

"And I thought the guard 'took care of' this place a century ago claiming it was making illegal hard cider."

"They did! Or thought they did! That's what happens when you have a tribe of ponies who until they middle age look the same as any other pony!"

"... Truth be told I came here just to check it out to see if it was safe for Button Mash to visit since some video games he likes are inspired by Horsecraft... Looks like it isn't."

"They-came this-way! We will make them PAY! Our ancestors pain! They now gain!" Sang a voice that not like any pony tribe.

"Right... both our organizations were involved when this place was 'gotten rid of'."

"I think they were busy squabbling with each other too, which might be why so many Deep Ponies got away."

"Forget how much we don't like each other and run?"

"RUN!"

Session 61.20 Alex Warlorn

Behind the Oubliette Overseer screen once again, Twilight Sparkle explained, "Okay girls, coming into the garden, you see a gazebo at the center, do you wish to roll for initiative?"

The ponies (and dragon) stared in silence before Starlight Glimmer burst out laughing. "Twilight, Twilight, Twilight! Did you really think we were going to fall for that old gag? I go and sit in the gazebo," Starlight said with a smug look on her face.

"The Small House Hunter Mimic collapses on you and begins to try and digest you. Do you wish to roll for initiative now?" Twilight Sparkle said with a smile and a straight face.

Session 61.21 Devcon101

(A Continuation of Session 61.20)

After recovering from the attack by the house hunter mimic, the group progressed further into the garden.

"Make a perception check." Twilight suddenly said.

The clacking of dice sounded as everyone made their rolls. None were that good, but there weren't too many terrible results. The highest ended up being 14.

"Okay..." she said, reading something in her notes. "You spot a small rabbit sitting atop a log.

Starlight, not wanting to be caught off guard again, and probably due to having recently watched Mount-y Python and the Holy Trough, had her character whip out her crossbow.

"18 to hit the rabbit." she exclaimed, Fluttershy looking rather shocked.

"You hit the rabbit, knocking it off the log." Twilight narrated.

There was a moment of silence.

"...Is it...dead?" Starlight asked, raising a brow.

"It doesn't appear to be moving." Twilight stated.

Starlight gave a guilty grin in response to Fluttershy's glare.

"I'm going to go over and see if I can help the poor dear." Fluttershy said, moving her character over.

"As you move closer, you see the rabbit is attached to a tentacle extending from the log. And as you see this, several other tentacles sprout out from the ground around you and restrain you. A large maw tears open from the center of the "trunk", and two long tentacles rise from the ground, two beady eyes at their ends watching you intensely."

"Really?!" Applejack did all she could to not facehoof. "A Wolf-in-Sheep's-Clothing?!"

Rainbow Dash looked on in disbelief. "You actually used that thing? What next, a Flail Snail?"

Twilight looked down at her notes for the next encounter, which included statistics for the aforementioned creature. "...You'll just have to wait and see. Now then, I believe this calls for initiative..."

Session 61.22 Ardashir & Mtangalion, edited by me

Bring on "The Giant Paw!" What's the worst that could happen?

With the best SFX the CMC could make!

Sweetie tilted her head. "Our giant bird monster doesn't look very scary."

Scootaloo fidgeted. "Maybe it'll look scarier on the movie screen?"

Apple Bloom cringed. "Ah kinda doubt it."

Gabby called out, "How much longer do I have to wear these cardboard boxes? I don't like it in here!"

They'd had Gabby in a goofy-looking outfit that makes her look like a griffon goony bird.

Discord popped in uninvited as usual, "You call that a giant monster?" Discord snapped his fingers, with predictable results.

Gabby's voice thundered over their heads. "Why did everyone get so small?" She began breathing heavily, panting as a look of fury rose in her eyes. "And why do I feel an overwhelming lust to destroy?"

"Discord!" Apple Bloom gave the floating draconequus a defiant glare. As defiant as a little filly could look, anyway. "Ya know this ain't right!"

"Indeed not," Discord rubbed his chin. He yanked a massive book out of nowhere with a title in kanji and pictures of massive monsters on the cover. "According to the Big Book of Kaiju Films, revised edition, you need at least two monsters to make a good kaiju film." The terrified CMC began backing away. Discord tossed the book away with a snort. "Oh, please, as if I could do that to you three! We need someone with experience in being a giant monster..."

"What happened to Gabby?" Spike yelled as he ran up to the fillies and Discord. "Hey, did he have something to do with this?"

Discord smiled toothily at the little dragon. He raised his fingers and snapped them.

"Problem solved!"

***

"An' thet's how it happened, Miss Twilight!" Apple Bloom explained.

Twilight turned her ears, "Where's that music coming from? Did somepony let the Sirens out again?"

= Gojira's (Godzilla) Theme Song =

Discord was directing a full orchestra, composed of other Discords all dressed in evening wear. "But it feels so appropriate!"

Doctor Hooves declared dramatically, "I've named the two giant monsters Gabira and Spikezilla, in accordance with ancient pony myths that I just made up!"

Twilight exasperated waving her arm about. "Doctor, there has to be something we can do!"

Shining Armor moved about in exaggerated motions, "Finally, the Royal Guard gets to do something! Roll the stock footage of military airships taking off and mana cannons being wheeled into position! Fire a full barrage! Keep blasting!"

Gabira lets loose a sonic screech and stamps her claws down on suspiciously cardboard-like Ponyville cottages.

Session 61.23 Kendell2

Starlight blinked. "...Trixie, is this really necessary?"

"Of course it is!" Trixie replied with a smirk.

"I was going to take her on a date..." said Sunburst.

"Eventually...You two need to take your relationship more seriously if you actually want it to GO SOMEWHERE!" Trixie said in her typical fashion.

"I can get that, but was it really necessary to tie us to the chairs?" asked Starlight, the two looking down at the ropes.

"No, that's just part of the decor..." said Trixie.

The two looked around to find the restaurant was escape artist themed.

"It's one of Trixie's favorites!"

"...That explains so much..." said Starlight with a sigh, noting now that she looked the ropes were the escape artist type and not really holding them at all. "...I guess it wouldn't hurt..." she said, looking to Sunburst with a blush.

"...It at least leaves me with no way to weasel out of it," Sunburst admitted.

"Good! Now have a good date!...Just one more thing..." said Trixie, her horn glowing.

Dating Start! - Undertale -

The two blinked, finding a series of holograms surrounding them, like that out of a dating sim. Including a 'Dating Power' one.

"...Trixie, I don't think we-" the unicorn mare started, only for Trixie to vanish in a fireworks explosion. "...This is her way of getting back at one of us, isn't it?"

"...Probably me...she said she'd be cross if I didn't try to take this more seriously..." Sunburst admitted. "...Still, pretty impressive illusion spell..." he said, looking at the illusions.

"It is her thing...that and turning things into tea cups."

OOC: Feel free for anyone to expand on this, Trixie basically just used her illusion magic to turn their date into something out of a dating sim.

Because Trixie.

Session 61.24 sonicandmario826

(OOC: And also teleporting mystical objects of importance to the spa.

According to the legends of Equestria comics Sunburst has been reading about Equestria history rather than hanging out with Starlight. I wonder if Twilight does the same thing with Flash? )

"Twilight! Come one we're gonna miss the reservation for the restaurant.", Flash said sticking his head out of the magic mirror.

"Just a few more pages Flash and I'll be right there.", the purple Alicorn responded her eyes not leaving the book she was currently engrossed in it thinking of new ways to surprise her friends in the next gaming session.

Flash groaned and began thinking of something until he gave sly smile before responded. "You know what Twilight, never mind you stay reading your book. I'll go with someone else like maybe I don't know... Sunset."

Twilight immediately dropped the book and teleported to the mirror dragging Flash through the portal cheerfully saying. "Let's go!!!"

"Heh, works every time.", Flash thinks to himself glad to finnaly be spending time with his princess.

Session 61.25 Mtangalion

"All right!" said Prince Blueblood, addressing the Dusklight roleplaying beta test group. "I believe I have the gist of it. Straight Edge the nightpony and Crystal the unicorn mare are a couple deeply in love."

Rarity put a hoof around Spike, causing the baby dragon to sigh blissfully and melt in her grasp. "Just so, your highness!"

"But Nightpony Princess Obsidia is in love with Straight Edge too, and Jasper the Kirin loves Crystal, and they continually scheme to break them up or kidnap them and whatnot." It was just like keeping track of the latest Canterlot gossip, thought Blueblood. He had to keep telling himself that.

Windy Whisper chuckled, kicking back in her borrowed throne. "Team Black Dragon's next plan is sure to succeed. Just you wait!"

Blueblood gritted his teeth. "Quite. Furthermore, Jasper and Straight Edge are actually brothers, and Snarl the Wolfpony Pack Lord used to have a thing for Crystal too before he took up with Silver Glow, eventually making her a wolfpony as well and earning the ire of Nightpony Prince Ebon Shine, who happens to be Obsidia's great uncle." Merciful Luna, what a tangled web... He forced a smile and added, "Nothing to it!"

Big Mac nodded. "Eeyup!"

"Okay, so you memorized our character backstories and the plot so far," said Spike. "But do you really know how to roleplay?"

Blueblood turned his nose up. "Never fear, good drake. I have experience in these matters, as I do in a great many things."

Spike narrowed his eyes. "Really? What kind of experience?"

+++

"Really now!" shouted Prince Blueblood. "I must protest!" He sat at a pony-sized card table with Princess Luna, Princess Cadence, and King Thorax, and facing them, lounging at a truly monolithic stone table, were Changeling Kaiju-Queen Supia, Gigantes Titan Seismos, and Gerulf the Grand Griffon.

"What's that?" bellowed Seismos, starting a small avalanche on the other side of the valley. "Did the puny mortal say something again? Speak up!"

Luna smirked at Blueblood. "You were the one who demanded to be included in more royal outings, nephew."

Blueblood threw up his hooves, scattering character sheets everywhere. "But why must I play Humdrum?!"

Gerulf shrugged his wings apologetically, blotting out the sun. "My apologies! We just sort of assumed..."

+++

"That's not important!" snapped Blueblood. "Let's just play, shall we?" He picked up his cards with his magic and sorted through them. "Now, as for my character... Oh, what luck. A Tragic Past card."

Cheerilee giggled. "Not really. The deck is full of those."

"You don't say?" An idea came to him. Rarity knew he was a real wolfpony... and the thestral knew as well, if she was really Midnight Heart. Why not bait them a little? "At any rate, my character is... ah... Duke Bluemane, a unicorn pony descended from an ancient and most noble line.

"Not like anypony we know," teased Rarity.

"Do you mind? Ahem... Though Bluemane's family recently fell on hard times, he had a bright future ahead of him, betrothed to a lovely and kind maiden with an extremely rich noble father. Then, tragedy struck, and he found himself with the wolfpony curse! Unable to bear the scandal, he made an excuse and sent his betrothed away without ever confessing the true reason. His fortunes ran dry, his servants departed, and eventually he was left all alone in the crumbling ruins of his ancestral castle.

"How dreadful," mused Rarity, though she had a calculating expression. "Still, as a noble and a wolfpony, he must know all about wolfpony society... where they gather... how many there are! I'm certain there's all sorts of stories he could tell!"

Blueblood grinned sharply. So impatient, so unsubtle, but at least Miss Rarity was learning. "Oh, Bluemane doesn't know any other wolfponies. Not a single one."

Rarity half-rose from her chair, aghast. "Whaaaat!? That... that can't be!"

Spike raised an eyebrow. "Okay... taking the RP just a little too seriously."

"Oh yes, it's doubly-tragic!" cried Blueblood, posing dramatically with a hoof on his forehead. "Good thing I have two of those cards. It so happens, he was cursed by a mischievous sprite called Dis... I mean... Ripsnort, yes! So far as he's aware, there are no other wolfponies. He believes himself to be the only one."

Rarity kept twitching. "But..."

"But it ain't like that at all," said Big Mac, laying two of his own cards on the table... Dramatic Revelation and Hilarity Ensues. "And when Snarl finds out there's a rogue wolfpony in his pack's territory..." He chuckled ominously.

"Don't be too hard on him, dear," said Cheerilee. "I kind of feel bad for Bluemane, even though he's made up. That would be such a hard choice, either accepting that his noble line would end with him, or burdening all his descendants with secretly being wolfponies."

And with that, all of Blueblood's carefully nuanced conversational gambits felt like that brute Seismos had up and stomped on them. He nearly gave himself whiplash, turning to look at Cheerilee. "I'm sorry, what did you just say? Being a wolfpony is... hereditary?!"

The others in the group exchanged puzzled looks. Spike spoke up first. "Didn't you read the Howling Wind side story trilogy? Foals with a wolfpony parent are always wolfponies too." He beamed, waggling a claw. "Twilight would say it's a dominant trait!"

Blueblood sat back heavily, vaguely aware that he was hyperventilating. "But... that's not official, surely! Hah, haha... just one of your what do you call them... fan theories, yes?"

He couldn't help but notice Windy Whisper getting all twitchy, eyes flicking around like she was looking for quick escape routes.

Rarity leaned over and whispered in his ear. "You mean, you really didn't know?"

Blueblood froze, and then his eyes rolled up and he slid bonelessly out of his chair.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 61.0 Kendell2
Session 61.1 Alex Warlorn
Session 61.2 Alex Warlorn
Session 61.3 QuartzScale
Session 61.4 Alex Warlorn
Session 61.5 Alex Warlorn (UPDATED!!!)
Session 61.6 Kendell2
Session 61.7 Alex Warlorn
Session 61.8 Devcon101
Session 61.9 Alex Warlorn
Session 61.10 Alex Warlorn
Session 61.11 Kendell2
Session 61.12 Kendell2
Session 61.13 Alex Warlorn
Session 61.14 Devcon101
Session 61.15 JDMiles
Session 61.16 Mtangalion
Session 61.17 Ardashir
Session 61.18 Alex Warlorn
Session 61.19 Alex Warlorn
Session 61.20 Alex Warlorn
Session 61.21 Devcon101
Session 61.22 Ardashir & Mtangalion, edited by me
Session 61.23 Kendell2
Session 61.24 sonicandmario826
Session 61.25 Mtangalion

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Cover art by Lemon-Bitter-Twist http://alexwarlorn.deviantart.com/art/EQD-ATG-V-15-have-fun-and-socialise-558488038

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Session 62

Session 62.0 JD Miles

"So... can we all agree that we got our cupcakes handed to us?" Pinkie asked as the group of heroes-turned-villains stumbled into an abandoned Warehouse.

Their fight against the Power Ponies was downright embarrassing. Mainly due to the fact that once again, none of them how their powers worked. Thankfully a distraction from Pinkie Pie involving her Party Cannon and Boneless the 3rd gave her and her friends enough time to escape.

"No kidding, we got thrashed out there!" Rainbow Dash groaned as she pulled down her hood and mask.

Spike on the other hand continue to stare at the note with a puzzled expression. Not too long after they had entered the warehouse, the words seem to have vanished in favor of an arrow that changed direction whenever he walked...

And his friends continue to converse among themselves, he followed the arrow to an old locker and opened it up, revealing would appear to be a large book.

'Evil Overlord List: tired of being defeated by the do-gooders? This list will have you on the fast track to being the most genre savvy villain ever!'

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvilOverlordList

Taking a look inside the book, his smile grew wider and wider as he read through some of the instructions. With unrivalled glee he grabbed the book and ran back to his friends.

"I mean, how was supposed to have a chance against the heroes of this story? The heroes always win!" Twilight exclaimed in frustration, only for Spike to tap on the shoulder and show her the book.

"I think I've got an idea..."

Session 62.1 Alex Warlorn Mtangalion

Bright red, Fluttershy shouted, "FOR THE LAST TIME NO! I don't write lewd romance novels starring all f you in my spare time!! Not, not there's anything wrong with enjoying that of course. I"m judgmental of other ponies' tastes or anything!"

Rainbow Dash flew over, grinning naughtily and nudging Fluttershy. "Maybe you're too busy writing romance novels about other ponies. Aren't you... Midnight Heart?!"

"Dash!! Just because I have every one of her novels doesn't mean... eep!" Fluttershy galloped away, blushing even harder.

"You should totally come to Dusklight game night!" shouted Dash after her.

"Why'd you do that?" whispered Windy Whisper in Dash's ear. "You *know* it's not her."

Dash winked. "If I didn't loudly jump to conclusions in public, ponies would figure I really do know something."

Windy gawked. "That's... actually smart! Everypony, come quick! Alisa is impersonating Dash!"

"Har de har..."

"Blech, am I the only one in town who doesn't read those cheesy vam-pony books?" Spike said reading his comics only hearing Fluttershy's end of the conversation.

Session 62.2 Alex Warlorn Mtangalion

"HEY! Why do Luna's Witnesses get tax exemption for being a legal state recognized religion and we don't?!" Rose Luck shouted. "We Equalist Ponies are getting tired of being called a cult!"

A Diamond Wolf in a blue hat and cape stepped forward, getting the crowd's attention. "Why be equal? Come, hear teachings of Anasi, she'll make you Great and Powerful!"

But then a second wolf backed up Rose Luck. "Wolves don't need to be great or small. Equal is good!"

"Grrrrr! Traitor!" snarled the first wolf. "You reject Alpha, so pack threw you out! Go make trouble someplace else."

"And now I have a cult forming around me." Cadence sighed.

"It's not a cult dear, it's a new budding religion." Said Celestia with a smile.

Session 62.3 Alex Warlorn

Windy Whistles and Rainbow Dash Senior were staring daggers at each other, none too happy with sharing the same space, even if the records strangely showed they both had ownership of the house. The Doctor, Discord, and Princess Celestia all insisting they play a friendly game to get to know each other better. You think that would be easy if the game was something nice like Bunnies and Burrows, sadly, their game master was Angel Bunnie, would threw that out of the window.

But their competition was so fierce, it made even Angel cringe.

--

This enchanted comic version of Bleakest Oubliette seemed like a bad idea. But it was supposedly 'for charity' (what charity was debatable).

Blueblood The Abomination, along with Octavia Occultist (since a Vestal wouldn't adventure with an Abomination) and Vinyl The Bard, and Bon Bon Bounty Hunter, were now going through the Court Yard, a swam in the game's latest expansion.

Blueblood was surprised there was a lycanthrope in this game... except... his in game form was a skinny pony without any muscle to his name... on his head was branded 'A'! for abomination.

He was kinda of delighted to learn there were vamp ponies in this game, it would be nice to explore the differences in,

"THE BLOOD! I MUST HAVE BLOOD!" Buzzed the mutant aristocrat pony, eyes huge and a long blood sucking nose, stabbing Vinyl.

"I too must have a the blood!" Vinyl shouted.

According to the back story, Blueblood would learn, that the previous owner of the Estate, had met a countess who he intended to murder for fun, except she turned out to be a vampire and tried to kill him, only for him to stab her... and serve her blood to his fellow aristocrats, that turned into blood sucking insect like ponies. Where did the writers get this sort of thing?

Blueblood changed to his beast form... which was a furless wolf/demon hybrid from all appearances that terrified his own teammates..

-

"So why did you hate him so much if he created a new swarm for you?" Locust asked Queen Chrysalis.

"The jerk still stabbed me and drained my blood!" Chrysalis hissed.

Session 62.4 Alex Warlorn and BrutalityInc

Garble and his teenage dragon buddies had come to Flim and Flam (since they now own the rights to Star Mares) and wanted to do a Warhorse 40 Carrot/ Star Mares X-over. After Garble and his buddies had written about THEIR version of Equestria, and Flim and Flam were now making all the final decisions about Star Mares lore... it would be a match made in Tartarus... if it could make it past the beta testing stage.

Cue nerds raging and flame wars between fandoms aplenty.

8-Bit said, "Seriously? This 'Battle of the Empires' crossover is just bull-manure."

Shining Armor replied, "Yeah. EVERYBODY knows that the Imperium would win on the ground and in space on a tactical level, while the Empire had one over the Imperium in population, logistics, infrastructure and speed on a strategic level. Any war between them would end in the Empire's victory in the long run."

8-Bit concluded, "So the real question is: How would the Galactic Empire deal with the Aetherean, the daemons and worshippers of the six Chaos Gods, and the other powerful xeno races like the Terrornids, the Dao, the Troggz, the Nekorons, the Eldeer (Both Craftworld and Dark)..."

Session 62.5 Mtangalion (continues from Session 62.1)

Princess Twilight looked up from her copy of Stone, Ice, and Shadow: Magical Arts of the Diamond Dogs and smirked at Spike. "Oh, so now those novels are cheesy, but when they're an excuse to cuddle up to Rarity on Dusklight game night, they're okay?"

Session 62.6 Mtangalion and Alex Warlorn ((continues from Session 62.3 )

Blueblood winced at the mess he'd just made of some random encounter monsters. "Well, now I shudder to imagine what Discord might have turned me into if he was still evil."

Vinyl lowered her shades, grinning manically. "I guess we all wonder about that sometimes," said the demonic cat riding on her shoulder, speaking for her (they weren't part of the game, but a special exception had been written in for Vinyl since her picogram magic couldn't work here). "Hey Bluey, did you ever read Beauty and the Beast?"

Blueblood stamped a hoof/paw/claw angrily. "That prince did nothing wrong!"

Octavia asked looking at the dark shadows completely covering Vinyl's eyes, "So why are everypony's eyes ALWAYS hidden in shadow in this game? I mean, us, the NPCs, everything except the monsters."

Bounty Hunter Bon Bon said, "I think it's to add to the grim ambiance."

Session 62.7 Kendell2

Game Notes:

Crystals and Rainbows is kinda a Genre Buster is a way. It's primarily a pony Harvest Moon style Life Sim combined with wide open sandbox exploration game with a big focus on making the world as beautiful as possible to make it worth exploring and a bit of building thrown in, with the possibilities for building your home being virtually unlimited. Playing with your friends and playing mini games is a major aspect of it as well, since it's literally impossible to find everything with a single tribe to promote co-op play.

In the final version there will be seven castles, each with importance to the lore and unique features and mini games: Friendship, Happiness, Family, Kindness, Music, Laughter, and Rainbows.

The available classes so far are Earth Ponies (fastest ground speed and can navigate rough terrain), Pegasi (can fly and navigate certain gusty areas others can't), unicorns (who have spells), Breezies (tiny and can go into places the others cannot), and Griffons (who fly slower than Pegasi but can detect scents for tracking things and finding things the others can't).

The main starting areas in Ponyland are Ponyville for Earth Ponies, Unicornia for Unicorns, Butterfly Island for Pegasi, Breezie Blossom for the Breezies, and Griffonstone for Griffins.

Currency is Friendship Points, which are earned by helping NPCs with things, winning mini games, and even doing kind things for other players. The unique thing is during racing mini games, you actually get LESS points for doing things like hitting your opponent to throw them off or other unsportsman things, and more for playing fair.

One big thing: the Cutie Mark system. IE, you gain enough experience in a certain trait, you can get a procedurally generated Cutie Mark in that trait...and can get a new one if you don't like it via a micro transaction or can submit one you made yourself for review and get it as yours for, again, a micro transaction. Griffons get a pendant like Griffon!Gabby got from the CMC.

They make a point of mentioning you can be a male from the very start, since WoH didn't let you be one from the start.

Session 62.8 QuartzScale

King Blackthorn looked on from his seat while he waited for former King Aspen to come in. It was another game exercise with the new head of a Changeling hive. This new king was still finding his place in the world Just as he was. Within the next few minutes both Princess Celestia and King Thorax had appeared alongside Aspen.

"Welcome friends. I hope your travels have treated you well."

"Of course King Blackthorn. Thanks for having us within your kingdom. I see we are to play a game today to keep our respective races on good terms."

"Of course King Thorax. Now Celestia what game did you have in mind?"

Twenty Minutes later...

"Right hoof yellow." Celestia droned out as the first spinner went.

Thorax stretched his hoof out barely managing to hold out by sheer luck. His leg was already hooked around Celestia’s hoof while Blackthorn had one of his limbs in the tangled mess. Each were fierce competitors in their own ways. There were several close calls throughout the game.

Aspen spun the next time due to Celestia being all tangled up already.

"Blackthorn, Left hoof red."

Blackthorn struggled to move his hoof from the tangled pile only a few inches to the next spot. While all tangled up each delivered on their iron will and managed to keep standing.

One hour later...

"Horn blue." Aspen worriedly said.

Celestia strained her neck as she managed to get it in place. They were all caught in a pretzel and it was necessary at that point to get help.

"Miss Raven Inkwell I trust you can find a worthy physician to help get this mess sorted out."

"Right away Sir Aspen. I’ll have to get the jelly ready..." Raven sighed out.

"Jelly?" Aspen questioned.

"Discord is finicky about what summons him. You wouldn’t happen to have any boysenberry and apricot spread would you...?"

Aspen stared at the pony before his former attendant Willow Reed brought what was required. It is said that there was uproarious laughter booming throughout the world as Discord managed to get all three leaders unhooked. There were also several pictures which circulated throughout the world of the game.

All Celestia did was smile as she finally managed to have fun without worrying about others.

"Thank you Sister for dealing with the press."

"No problem Sister. They know I know the law system better than them. Still stop giving me more paperwork when you want to have fun then."

Celestia chuckled as the last paper was burnt by Philomena.

Session 62.9 Mtangalion

Three pegasi skimmed through the upper slopes of a towering cumulonimbus, without gear, uniforms, or flight suits. Up here, the vast cloudscape seemed like a whole other world. The faintly multicolored ground was barely visible, and Wonderbolt HQ was a foal’s toy far below on the horizon.

"Over here!" called Spitfire, shouting to be heard over the wind. She landed on a relatively flat stretch, then pointed a wing. "You’re in the big leagues now, Crash. It’s time you learned more about what ponies on our level do for fun!"

Rainbow Dash landed close by, her hooves kicking up puffs of vapor. "This is gonna be great! I mean... I’m looking forward to it, ma’am!"

Spitfire nodded. "That’s what I like to hear. The game is hot potato! Clipper, if you’d do the honors?"

Soarin gave her a lazy salute. "On it!" He dove into the cloudscape, then carved out a large piece and lifted it up before he went to work. A shove here, a few bucks there, and soon he had a textbook miniature stormcloud.

What he did next definitely wasn't in any of the basic textbooks. Soarin posed his wings and thrust his forehooves at the cloud, stirring up a cyclone with nothing but wind magic and sheer will.

Rainbow’s jaw dropped as she watched the cyclone intensify, gathering the cloud up and squeezing it tighter and tighter until it formed a ball of violently gusting wind and crackling lighting no larger than a pony’s head. "Whoa, whoa!" she yelled, winging back from it. "That’s too much! One touch, and it’ll explode!"

Soarin laughed, and held the lightning ball aloft, floating a fraction of an inch over his hoof. "Not if you know how to handle it!" He tossed it easily from one forehoof to the other. "Ready, Chief?"

Spitfire hovered, smacking her hooves together. "Anytime you’re ready, Clipper."

Soarin wound up and threw it. The lightning ball made an unearthly keening wail as it flew past Rainbow. Spitfire snagged it out of the air, spun it on her hoof, then threw it back again. Soarin bounced it back in a high arc like a volleyball, and Spitfire slammed it back towards him again.

After another dozen rapid-fire bounces, Spitfire shouted, "Think fast, Crash!" and deflected the lightning ball straight towards Rainbow! Dash braced herself... and panicked at the last second, throwing her hooves in front of her face.

BOOOMFFFZAP!

Rainbow Dash twitched and sparked, her entire mane standing upright like a fright wig.

Spitfire tisked. "That’s probably going to happen a few more times before you get the hang of it. Rule number one..."

Rainbow coughed a few soot clouds. "Lemme guess. Don’t take your eyes off the ball."

Session 62.10 Ardashir (Note: Contains very mild spoilers about the upcoming MLP movie.)

The girls were playing Ogres & Oubliettes once more, right until Dash held up one hoof and said, "Hold it! C'mon, Spike!"

Groans circled the table, Spike's loudest of all. The mares set back, with Twilight rolling her hoof in a 'Get on with it' gesture as Dash flapped out of her seat and hovered over the table.

"Yeesh, what is it NOW? The battle against the big bad's chief lieutenant is just about to start! Can't this wait?" Spike set one claw on a new figurine on the table, a broken-horned, scarred, armored, deep crimson unicorn mare. "I was just about to start Crimson Storm's big speech! I practiced all night long!"

Rarity suddenly looked interested. "Crimson Storm? Thank you ever so for giving her true name to my sorceress, Spike dear."

"Not her true name," Spike puffed himself up as Rarity's smile faded. "You want that, you have to learn it in game."

"Yeah, an' she's the problem!" Dash pointed at the figure. "I mean, come on? Where did you get her? From some teenage foal's crazy self-insert story where they're the edgy villain who beats everypony, including Celestia?"

Spike looked ready to burst. Twilight quickly stepped in.

"Dash, what are you talking about? Okay, 'Crimson Storm' is an odd name, and she's scarred from past battles -- but if that made her 'some foal's edgy self-insert', half the Royal Guard would qualify."

"Oh please," Dash snorted. "Half the time we're saving the Royal Guard from the bad guys," now Twilight looked ready to explode, "but yeesh, that character!" Dash picked her up and examined the figure closely. "Look, dragons, shadow ponies, griffons, and giant spiders are one thing. But she looks as goofy as those brain thing Disc - I mean Fluttershy's friend once showed us!"

***

Many many hundreds of miles away, across the seas in another land...

A scarred, armored unicorn mare with a broken horn suddenly froze in the midst of a battle. Or more like a sack, as the Diamond Dog city fell around her and the odd apelike raiders with her. Two of them nearby stopped shaking the hefty nerdish Diamond Dog they were holding over an empty sack.

"Uh," one hesitantly said, making sure he had room to run if needed, "anything wrong, Commander?"

"Strange," she said in a husky voice. She shook herself, mane tossing, and added, "I had the oddest idea someone was mocking me." She looked back to the raiders. "Gone now. Get to work and take whatever he has."

"You heard her, boys!" Another ape-thing called out, one with white fur and an expression of wicked cheer that Discord would have once admired. "We're one a schedule, so hurry up. Chop-chop!" He clapped his hands together and strolled off, followed by several raiders bearing a few magical devices as well as several crates of diamonds, rubies, and emeralds for ballast.

The remaining ape raiders dropped their victim who scurried away as they looked at the mess of polyhedral dice and cards he'd left behind.

"See a Princess Celestia?" One asked. "Need it for a complete set."

Session 62.11 Mtangalion

Prince Blueblood sat alone in the rustic Ponyville bar where the whole wolf business had first begun, nursing a mug of hard apple cider. Well, alone except for the bartender, but hired help hardly counted. Macintosh hadn’t come looking for him, and Blueblood almost wished he had. Now he was alone with his thoughts, and yes, there was important thinking to be done, but Blueblood’s thoughts still weren’t very good company.

That mare... Rarity Belle. After he’d fainted at the game table, Rarity had made excuses for the prince’s ‘recent ill health’ before spiriting him away back to his hotel room. She’d understood the purpose of his cloak and taken care to keep him covered while he was outside, under the moon. Then, instead of satisfying her burning curiosity about wolfponies or demanding a favor in exchange, she’d wished him a good night and gone on her way.

"Element of Generosity, indeed," Blueblood murmured, staring off into the fireplace. He took another sip of cider. "Blast it all. Now I feel I owe her. Of course, she’ll deny it..."

Paying his debts would have to wait. There were other matters to attend, tonight if possible. "Luna," he muttered. "You knew that my foals would become wolfponies. You had to have known. Why did you not tell me?"

A voice, lurking in the back of his head like it had every right to be there, spoke: ‘Because I was selfish, and for that I deeply and sincerely apologize.’

Blueblood felt a hair-raising tingle down the back of his spine. He almost transformed on the spot before he got a grip on himself. "Am I dreaming?" he whispered.

‘Nay.’ No mistake, that was Luna’s voice! ‘In the tales of Dusklight, wolfponies are like my thestrals, created by and bound to my divine self. Did you not notice when you began swearing by me alone, and not by my sister?’

Blueblood had to put the cider mug down, slowly and carefully, lest he drop it... or purposely smash it. "Am I to understand that you deliberately put me in this intolerable position?!"

There was silence in his head, and then an ethereal sigh before she spoke again. ‘You are not the only pony who saw great potential in Discord’s boon at first, nephew. Long have I been fascinated by the world of Dusklight. I wished to truly know wolfponies, and I wanted you to experience that exalted state and not reject it immediately out of hoof. Know that if you choose to remain a wolfpony, secretly or even openly, we will stand by you with every resource we possess.’

Blueblood stood, ears set back. "And if it is my wish to be a wolfpony no longer? Will you cast me out, Princess? Scorn me for spoiling your fantasy and breaking this special bond?"

He felt a strange soothing coolness, a sense of calm and peaceful awe. ‘I am certain you know that I would do no such thing, my little wolfpony. May I call you that, while I may? Rather, you should hope that Discord does not choose to be petulant or stubborn about making you a pony once more.’

"I’ll have you know," said the bartender, "that I’m perfectly capable of dealing with situations like these in a mature and reasoned manner. I just choose not to!"

Blueblood realized that he was standing there, frozen in shock, as if he just been in a sudden and violent carriage accident. No, not quite frozen... He was shaking quite badly, in fact. He forced himself to turn his head, and saw that the stallion who’d served him that apple cider had yellow and red eyes and wild white eyebrows.

Of course, thought Blueblood, inwardly groaning. Naturally, he should have expected Discord to appear when he least expected it.

The pony with Discord’s face stepped out from behind the bar, leaving the mug he’d been polishing behind. The mug and washcloth stayed floating in the air, polishing away. "I’m rather disappointed in you, Bluey. I went to all the trouble of picking out a gift that I was certain you’d enjoy." He passed behind a coat rack, and Discord the pony vanished along the way, seamlessly replaced by Discord the Draconequus. "Oh, and how you enjoyed it!"

With a flash, Discord was right beside Blueblood, putting an arm around him and fluffing his mane in far too familiar a manner. "Buck the status quo, give me the power!" Discord proclaimed. "The size, the strength! The magnificent beastly ferocity! I want it and there’s nothing wrong with me having it and it’s mine, all mine!" He popped like a balloon, zipping and sputtering all around the room before appearing in another flash, pointing an accusing claw. "And then somepony realizes that there’s one little thing not to his liking, and oh, well, we can’t have that at all!"

‘Blueblood!’ shouted Luna. ‘Discord gave his word! If you ask resolutely, he must...’

Discord snapped his fingers, and Luna’s ‘voice’ in his head was cut off, replaced with lifelessly cheerful music. "Whoops, I put her on hold. One moment, please! Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line!" He snapped his fingers again, and the dreadful music ceased. "That’s much better. Now, you were saying? Oh, and I wouldn’t try that ‘fade to black and five minutes later I’m agreeing with everything you want’ trick. With me involved, goodness knows what might happen!"

Blueblood ground his teeth, tempted to become a wolf right there and lunge at the fiend... but he was only rattled and tired, not stupid. "You’re not wrong," he admitted. "Can you even know what it’s like, being mocked for having wealth and authority, but no true power, the way the princesses hold power? As the wolf, I’m a match for any ten of my royal guards. It’s unseemly to say so, but yes, Luna blast it, I’ve enjoyed it! Even now, I crave it!"

He stamped his hoof in frustration, putting an impressive dent in the hardwood floor. "But this cannot be. It isn’t even about my being a prince or the Blueblood name. I can make the decision to be a wolfpony for myself, but not for all the Bluebloods that come after me, to the end of time!"

Discord leaned close, sneering at the prince. "How noble of you." He drifted back a pace and lifted his claws, ready to snap. "If that’s your decision, then... Going once!"

This was for the best, thought Blueblood.

"Going twice!"

Finally, everything could get back to... normal.

"Going..."

"Wait!" Blueblood shouted suddenly, grabbing Discord’s claw. He struggled for words, mind racing. "You’re Discord! The great and mighty Spirit of Chaos! Why, you can do anything, your merest whim reality but with a simple snap of your claws..."

Discord blinked, and then he smirked and replaced the entire tavern with an awards ceremony. A phantom crowd cheered, imaginary cameras flashed, and Discord posed with a golden statue of himself, wearing a tuxedo and designer shades. "I’m not saying it will get you anywhere, but please, feel free to continue complimenting me!"

"You could change the terms and conditions of my curse!" said Blueblood, making his point quickly. "Make it so it’s not passed on."

"Oh, undoubtedly I could," mused Discord. The tavern returned in another flash. "I’m not going to, though. I mean, getting everything you desire without having to make any hard choices along the way? Where would be the fun in that?"

"Ah, but I know the author!" countered Blueblood. "I’ll have Midnight Heart write me a way out! For the right compensation, I’m sure she’d be willing to write an epic tale of a wolfpony on a journey of self discovery, leading to a secret spell which would..."

Discord posed with his smallest eagle claw touching the corner of his mouth. "How about NO? Could you honestly see me, the Spirit of Chaos, forced to continually update my art to conform to someone else’s continuity?" He fished a large pocket watch out of an invisible pocket. "Enough dawdling. You have exactly thirty seconds to choose and no more take-backs, starting... now!"

Blueblood paled. "But, surely..."

"Tick tock tick tock tick tock!"

Blueblood racked and racked his brains until almost the last second, before he finally blurted out, "Pony! Make me a pony again!"

The dreaded, fateful claw-snap came, and Blueblood slumped, feeling... diminished. Shaking a bit, he slowly made his way towards the tavern’s front door, then threw it open. Moonlight hit him full in the face, and... nothing happened. No change, no transformation, not even a tingle.

"So that’s it, then. I’m... cured." Blueblood couldn’t help but sigh. "I suppose... our business is concluded." He looked squarely at Discord, then bowed fractionally. "Thank you, sir, and goodnight." He trudged out the door and on his way.

But of course, Discord couldn’t let it go at that. Luna forbid he allow Blueblood his dignified exit. As Blueblood stalked down the moonlit street, trying to recall where the hotel had been, Discord reappeared, floating alongside him. "I must say, you’ve been a remarkably good sport about all of this."

Blueblood kept walking, stubbornly not answering him.

"I mean, the princesses read me the riot act." Discord lifted a crude hand-puppet of Princess Celestia. "Discord, how dare you have fun!" he said in a silly falsetto voice. Followed by a puppet of Princess Luna. "Obviously you want to be sealed in stone again!" Discord flicked the puppets away. "You, though! Not once tonight did you whine or call me names, or threaten to have me banished."

Blueblood stopped in his tracks, smiling ruefully. "I know my limitations, Discord. I’m no hero, no Alicorn. I have no magic jewelry, no mighty unicorn spells to blast you with. My words and my wits were all I had, in the end."

Discord scratched his chin. "Here’s a thought. Since you’ve been such a good sport, Bluey, how about a consolation prize?" The jeweled collar that Alisa had given to Blueblood in Icehome appeared, hovering before him.

Blueblood stared at it. "Oh, that thing. I suppose it will make a nice momento for the family museum..."

Discord just chuckled. "Put it on."

"What’s the point?" grumbled Blueblood. "I can’t wear that. It’s far too large for a pony." When Discord kept grinning at him expectantly, Blueblood looked at the collar again, getting goosebumps. "Surely you didn’t..." Blueblood lifted the collar in his magic and lowered it over his head...

And then Blueblood stretched and snarled and GREW, a wolf once more, with a collar that now fit him perfectly. More than that, his courtly vest and cloak fit him too, magically expanded to his new size. Immediately, he took the collar off again, just to confirm that he could and had changed back into his pony self, before he donned the collar and became a wolf a second time. "You!" he growled. "I can’t believe... After everything you put me through!"

Discord magicked himself into a Daring Do cosplay outfit, even playing a few bars of her theatrical theme song from thin air. "According to my research, this priceless relic, when worn by Prince Blueblood or one of his heirs, will transform the wearer into a mighty Diamond Wolf!" Discord flashed back to his usual self. "Enjoy."

Blueblood snorted and paced, leaving big pawprints that would startle more ponies than just the flower trio come morning. "You do realize, this gives me a whole new list of concerns to fret over. I’ll have to keep this collar secret and safe. Decide who can be trusted to know about it. Choose which one of my eventual heirs is worthy to have it after me!"

Discord grinned, kneading his claws. "Just the sort of clever scheming you live for. Am I right?"

Blueblood grinned back confidently, fangs gleaming. "Just so." A warm breeze blew, and the moon still shone clear and bright above the clouds, perfect for a run on the fringes of the Everfree before morning, when duty would call once more. His tail was already wagging, just thinking of it. "This is going to be a good day."

Session 62.12 Alex Warlorn

Fluttershy had been sent a maid dress with polite instruction to put in on. She had done so, and was instantly hypnotized into a loyal servant maid and made her way to the mansion that may or may not have been the day before. Angel saw this and told the rest of the mane six had happened. The heroes and instantly made their way to the manor.

The manor was built like a fortress. They'd each made their own way inside. Rarity had put on a maid dress to disguise herself as one of the maids, but the dress became enchanted and she became a happy maid like Fluttershy.

Rainbow Dash had tried the front door, brute force, only to run into the statues who had blasted her, making a happy maid who dusted the statues darlings.

Twilight had teleported in, only to wind up in the maid closet, the dresses coming at her from all directions and finding teleporting out impossible, Twilight had walked out another happy maid.

Applejack

"Now now, you know this is what you want more than anything, this is what you all want more than anything, so why fight it? Doesn't serving other make you happy?"

The Master of the house had asked, and her swirly eyes enchanting Applejack. "Yeah... it's so totally what Ah want Master."

"And you'd rather speak with a French accent wouldn't you?"

"Oui maîtriser, this humble Femme de ménage will happy serve toi!"

And that left Pinkie Pie, her friends crowded around her, hugging her, filling her with the joy of being a happy maid who happy served the Manor Master.

--

"And that's that." Starlight said with a smile at the game table.

"Uh, there a way to actually, WIN?" Applejack asked rather awkwardly.

"Well, the rules say that if any of you get away without being transformed and brainwashed, that it counts as a complete loss. The score for me is based on how quickly and completely I turn you all into happy maids." Starlight explained. "The last one to go is to act as Mansion Master for the next game and set up the traps and maids accordingly."

"Oh."

"Who MADE this game?!" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Well, it says on the back: 'for everypony out there who likes being turned into a happy cute maid or turning others into happy cute maids.'"

"There's a market for that?!"

"Apparently."

Session 62.13 Kendell2

"Trixie, what are you doing?" asked Rainbow Dash, noting Trixie hadn't moved her Rogue character for about 20 minutes, seemingly just in a random room of the castle of the Evil Overlord villain of the RPG.

"Just wait..." Trixie said, giving an insidious smirk, as all she did was perform a spell to stack another attack buff. Which she'd done for the last five turns.

The group continued this way for a few more turns...

"Trixie stabs Lord Malefic in the back," Trixie finally said with a smirk.

"What?!" was the universal reaction.

"Twilight always moves the NPC pieces on daily routines while we're playing," Trixie said with a proud smile. "Malefic just went into his room, took off his armor, and was about to go to bed, Trixie's been waiting in his bedroom stacking damage buffs all this time."

Twilight blushed. "I didn't think any of you had noticed that!"

"Trixie did!" the showmare said proudly.

As Trixie had customized her rogue explicitly for maximizing her backstab, and she got a critical on Malefic while he wasn't wearing his armor (Of DOOM!, as Spike insisted on calling it), she silently killed him instantly.

"YES! TRIXIE WON! ALL PRAISE THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!" Trixie proclaimed in her usual way.

"Congrats...now you're stuck in Malefic's chamber with guards standing at the door as they always do until he emerges," Twilight explained. "How are you going to escape.

Trixie froze. "...Worth it."

OOC: I admit, part of me imagines that Trixie manages a great escape...or escapes by wearing Malefic's armor...only for it to be corruptive in nature and make her the replacement Big Bad...which Trixie being Trixie, doesn't really mind. Anyone want to pick up on that please do.

Session 62.14 Alex Warlorn

"These time distillation enchanted comics are a disaster!" Princess Twilight exclaimed. "Allow them on the market was a horrible mistake!"

"NO! NO! EQUESTRIA IS THE DREAM! I AM THE DARK LORD OF NETHER-WHERE! THE FIFTH LAYER OF THE UNDER-DARK! MY MONSTER ARMIES ARE VAST! THE OVERWORLD'S HEROES TREMBLE AT MY NAME! I AM A QUEEN!" Trixie shouted as she was dragged away, having spent a compressed 100 hours in the Overlord Enchanted comic as the protagonist.

"Indeed Twilight Sparkle," Princess Celestia said. "You should stop this nonsense and come back to reality."

"What you mean?!... Did I ... Did I dream being friends with Trixie?"

"Yes. You also dreamed making friends with Starlight Glimmer. Being a Princess. Defeating Discord. Defeating Sombra. Defeating Nightmare Moon. Making six friends. Defeating Tirek. Having a big brother. Being accepted in Celestia's school of gifted unicorns. And being a pony."

"Wait-what?"

Twilight found herself human in a straightjacket in a faded room.

"AAHHHHHHH!!!!" Spike, Trixie, and Starlight Glimmer, were awakened from their dreams of Sir Spike rescuing Princess Rarity, of turning out to be descendant from Starswirl the Bearded, and arguing taxes on sunlight with tulips respectively, by the wailing of Princess Twilight Sparkle. And disrupting Owlowcious' midnight snack of sautéed field mice.

Meanwhile in the human world

Vice Principle Luna, (and a PHD in dream analysis), sat next to Twilight Sparkle as she lay on the couch.

"So how long have you been having this nightmare that you're entire life is a virtual reality escape programmed by alien horses?"

Session 62.15 Mtangalion

Lyra Heartstrings trotted in place excitedly, her hooves ringing on the crystal floor of Starlight’s study in Twilight’s castle. "So, when can you do it?"

Starlight Glimmer looked up from her book. No, not a Dusklight book. Starlight suspected that Twilight was teleporting all of her library’s Dusklight books to the actual moon as fast as they could arrive in the mail. "That wasn’t a theoretical question? You really want me to turn you into a human? I don’t know..."

"But, but... humans have hands!"

"Okay, okay, calm down! Let me check the list." Starlight lit her horn, and a hovering scroll flashed into existence.

Lyra trotted closer and read the title upside-down. "Things that Starlight Glimmer is Not Allowed to do with Magic? There’s an actual list?"

Starlight kept skimming the list. "Three guesses who wrote it. Ugh, Twilight’s been adding more things behind my back." Her eyebrows shot up. "Starlight may not summon cookie-loving fiends from the Darkness Beyond the Deep? I didn’t even know that was a thing, and now I really want to do it!" She unrolled the list until the scroll trailed halfway across the room. "Here it is... No turning ponies into humans. Sorry, Lyra."

"Aww! Wait, what about griffons? They have hands too!"

"Claws. Technically, that’s not on the list... Oh, what the hay." Starlight charged up her magic and blasted Lyra.

Before the smoke even cleared, a mint-green songbird / snow leopard griffon flew out, doing a midair somersault. "Yes yes yes!!" squealed Lyra Griffonstrings, wiggling her talons. "I can’t wait to show everypony in town my new hands!" She darted right out the open second-story window.

"Claws!" Starlight shouted out the window. She sighed and glanced around, trying to remember where she left her book. "Maybe now I can get back to-" She turned her head and found herself nose to nose with Bon Bon. "Ahhhhh! When did you..."

"Why did you have to go and do that?" demanded Bon Bon. "Never mind... you might as well turn me into a griffon too. Someone has to stop Lyra from waving her claws in everypony’s faces."

Starlight twitched. "Um, okay, I guess?" She fired off the same spell, then watched Bon Bon the pale yellow and pink canary / purrsian blue kitty griffon fly off after Lyra.

"Huh," mused Starlight to herself. "Those were some pretty exotic griffons. I wonder if other ponies..." She shook her head furiously. "Nope! More experimentation means more griffons, means more chances for Twilight to get mad and put this one on the list too."

She trotted over to the window, looking down at Ponyville. All those ponies, just waiting to become her eager test subjects... "No. I mean it, me! Two griffons was one too many. Heck, two was two too many." She trotted herself right back to her comfy chair, picked up her book... and stole another glance at the window, starting to grin. "Eh, what’s the worst that could happen?"

Gilda came in for a landing on the outskirts of town and drew in a deep breath of fresh air. "What’s up, ponies? How’s it hanging in... Ponyville?"

"Look, hands!" squealed griffon Lyra, swooping past.

"Claws!" yelled an angry Bon Bon, diving after her.

"Don’t eat me!" cried Button Mash, huffing and puffing as he galloped away from both of them.

Dinky the griffon fledgling giggled, zipping through the air. "Mommy, look! I can fly with you now!"

"You come right back this instant, young lady," shouted the Doctor, pulling a lasso out of a pack as he galloped after her.

Scootagriffon cringed at her small wings, then looked up at Sweetiegriffon and Griffon Bloom, flying in circles with Gabby. "Aw, come on!!"

Griffon Tree Hugger glided lazily past, flying upside-down. "I’m, like, not even under a spell. I just went with the metaphorical flow of the cosmos, you know?"

Gilda face-clawed, hard.

Later that morning, four griffons sat around one of the big tables at Sugarcube Corner. Gilda banged her fisted claws on the table. "And that’s why I think we oughta do something cool together, just us griffons that hang out in Ponyville. Not ponies turned into griffons, not humans turned into griffons, just griffons! Cause we’re awesome griffons, dang it, not the punchline to whatever lame thing Starlame Glimmer did this week!"

Gabby pecked at her clawsant and finished up the last two bites. "Mmm... Sounds fun!"

Gerulf sat in another chair, once again wearing the Idol of Astra, which allowed him to shrink himself down to the size of a common griffon. "Technically, I’m a Grand Griffon, young ones. And I don’t exactly ‘hang out’ ... I’m in town to discuss an exchange of knowledge between our peoples with Princess Twilight."

"That still counts!" said Gilda, grinning. "I mean, you’re like a griffon plus. Griffon squared! Even more awesome than awesome!"

Gerulf laughed. "I’m not using the Idol to grow you into a giant again, Gilda."

"Bah. Can’t blame a hen for trying!" Gilda looked over at Gerold, who’d been awkwardly fidgeting and fluffing his wings the whole time. "What’s your deal?"

"Um... I’m Gerold. From the hospital, remember?" He scratched his neck feathers, looking anywhere but directly at Gilda. "I was dating the other you from the human world. Actually, I might still be dating her. I mean, it’s been a while since we hung out and, uh..."

"Geez, awkward," said Gilda, patting Gerold on the back and not noticing how he relaxed and cooed at the touch of her claws. "Let’s not mention that again. So!" She clapped her claws together. "What awesome cool griffon thing should we griffons do?"

Gerold shook himself out of his daze, sighing. "We could go hunting. That always cheers me up." He licked his beak. "A nice juicy deer..."

Gabby winced. "Maybe this isn’t a good time. The talking deer got mad and had a protest at Town Hall last week, even though we've been making sure to hunt the not-talking ones."

"Cattle?" suggested Gerulf.

Gilda was already shaking her head. "Gotta fly a ways to get to any wild herds, and a lot of the local cows don’t even mind being eaten. You might as well just go to the meat restaurant at that point."

"How about fish?" said Gerold, getting annoyed. "Are mice okay? Did those start talking too?"

"Only near Fluttershy’s cottage," said Gabby.

The four griffons looked at each other uncomfortably.

"Okay, forget that," said Gilda. "Let’s fight! Yeah, we could have a big ol’ tournament and spar while the ponies pay us bits to watch!"

Gerulf shook his head. "I’m sworn to protect tiny mortal griffons, not fight them."

"Please, not fighting!" moaned Gabby. "I’m just no good at fighting." When the others gave her astonished looks, she added, "What, did you think I was amazing at everything?"

"Yes," said Gilda and Gerold without hesitation.

Gerulf lifted a claw. "I have it! We could play ‘Taunt the mortal ponies and sit on their puny castle!’" Then he remembered where he was, and blushed slightly. "Or not."

Gilda grinned, leaning towards him. "We could if you..."

"Still not making you a giant."

"Tease!"

Gabby raised her claw. "Guys! There’s still one thing we could definitely do!"

The others tilted their heads, listening.

"There you are, Dash!" Princess Twilight landed in front of Sugarcube Corner and followed her friend inside. "Did something happen while I busy reshelving? Everypony in town keeps giving me the strangest looks, and now I can’t find Gerulf, and I was supposed to meet with him an hour ago and..."

"Shh!" Rainbow Dash grinned, and pointed towards the big round table in the corner.

Gilda grinned from behind an Oubliette Master’s screen, kneading her claws. "You climb up to the fourth floor of Lord Blackhoof’s tower. There’s two earth pony guards playing dice, and they haven’t seen you yet."

"I guard the door behind us, in case we were followed!" proclaimed Gerulf.

Gabby covered her giggle with a claw. "I stay out of sight and bandage Gerulf’s wounds."

"I slip into the shadows," said Gerold excitedly. "I’m gonna sneak up, knock one of ‘em out, and hold the other at knifepoint... Wait, scratch that! I check for traps first!"

"Too slow!" cackled Gilda. "Roll for evasion!"

Session 62.16 Alex Warlorn

"Princess Luna?!"

"Hello Windy Whisper, the inhabitants of my moon have for some reason become loving Dusklight fans, and wold like you to be referee for one of their LARPing sessions."

"Why me?" Windy Whisper lamented.

"It's no stranger than the giant robot manega phase they went through. Some are still fans."

Session 62.17 Kendell2

Button Mash still had quite a few 'wishes' from Discord from that time he got him out of his restraining order to Chrysalis (his mother had made the Spirit of Chaos promise him a number of wishes proportional to his gaming performance, and Button had proven a GOOD champion). This time, it was creating his own little harmless Manecraft pocket dimension in the back of his closet for himself and Sweetie Belle. They couldn't actually get hurt, so why not? Though his mom forced Discord to install a 'come to dinner, do your homework, ect.' bell.

His mom sometimes played in there with him, but usually Sweetie Belle. It was pretty fun...

"Ah!" screamed Button as a Creeper blew up in their front yard (though he survived)...but all they had was stone to fix it up with, so now they had a stone patch in the yard...

Sweetie Belle had gone mining (looking for diamonds, though could only fine one or two)...and then got lost underground. Again. This was like the second time since they'd started this world. The first time she'd dug her way out into the bottom of the ocean (a surprisingly easy thing to happen if you weren't paying attention). This time she ended up with her entire inventory filled to the brim with waste materials from just trying to escape! She made note to make a sign and label that place the 'Pit of No Return'. Granted, she could just 'log out' any time she wanted but her situation when she came back would be the same.

She decided to just dig straight up, fearful of digging into lava (first rule of Manecraft after all, don't dig straight up or down)...and ended up underwater again. Swimming up however, she surfaced next to Button...in their house...in the indoor pool they'd made out of a naturally spawning lake...on the SECOND FLOOR.

"...Sweetie? What happened?" Button asked.

'Sweetie Belle left the game'.

OOC: Made based off some stuff discussed with Alex.

Session 62.18 Kendell2

FINALLY Button and Sweetie had managed enough Obsidian to reach the Nether.

"Now remember..."

"I know! Be careful while mining glowstone and watch out for Ghasts!" Sweetie replied, rolling her eyes.

"Just making sure...alright, let's go!"

The two stepped through the portal into the fiery, Tartarusish realm...

And found themselves on a ledge overlooking a several mile drop into the ocean of lava. Even if they COULD survive the fall, it'd basically be instant death...

"...Sweetie Belle, do you still have all that cobblestone from the Pit of No Return?" asked Button Mash.

Session 62.19 Ardashir

"So, Rainbow," Twilight gave her friend a hesitant look. Dash had a slightly loopy grin on her face. Her friends looked on in concern as the alicorn said, "Are you sure you want to play with us tonight? You just went through three hours of dental surgery..."

"After crashing into a stone mountainside head on," Rarity added. "Were you sure that was a good place to try your latest stunt?"

Dash laughed a bit wildly and waved one hoof in the air.

"Aw, I just shoulda remembered not to try a Sonic Rainboom in high-level fog," she smiled, revealing a gap in her upper jawline. "Didn't feel a thing; man those new painkiller and nerveblocker spells are great!"

"Didn't they test some o' them out on ya a year or so ago, after the big accident ya had then?" Applejack asked, wincing at the memory. "Ya ended up in th' hospital for a month.Ya said ya saw things, like Rarity turnin' inta a Nightmare an' a bunch o' sea ponies swimmin' around the room an' turnin' Spike inta some big fat spiky fish."

"Hah!" Dash reached out and set her hoof on her friend's mouth. "Ya kiddin? I feel great! I don't need ta rest..."

"Um, Dash, you have your hoof on my mouth." Fluttershy managed to say around a blue hoof.

"Anyway!" Dash removed her hoof. "Let's get playin'. Hey, maybe if the stuff kicks in again I'll actually see the monsters running around the table." She failed to notice her friends looking around in sudden dread, but when no cackling draconequus appeared, they relaxed and began to game.

Only to freeze as yet another pony raced into the room.

"Twilight!" Starlight, smiling and looking delighted, galloped up to her mentor. "You won't believe what I did now!"

"What now?" Twilight muttered under her breath, before saying brightly, "No! What did you do, Starlight?" Beside her, Rainbow Dash smiled somewhat crookedly on the whole scene.

Starlight smiled and pointed at the door.

"That!"

The Mane Six turned. And looked.

And froze in horror.

"No!" Dash screamed, throwing her hooves up in horror. "No! I'm having a bad reaction to the spells! It's gotta be!"

"Isn't it great?" Starlight said. "Now I really can make everypony equal. By turning them all into Alicorns! Just like him! Now he's a winner instead of a dolt." She pointed to the stallion behind her. "Twilight? Twilight! Oh, she must be overcome by joy to have fainted like that."

Twilight's groan of horror came from the floor, joined by similar ones from Rarity and Applejack. PInkie seemed frozen, her mane deflating. And Fluttershy's eyes were rolling in two different directions at once as the alicorn stallion entering the room spoke.

"Hello, ladies!" Zephyr Breeze whinnied as he strode into the room. He looked bigger than Big Mac, his wings were magnificent, and a horn curled out from his forehead. "Hey, Dashie, baby!" He teleported to her side. "I'm the latest Prince of Equestria; and I need a consort!"

He smiled and batted his eyes at her.

With only a scream to show she'd even been there, Rainbow Dash sonic rainboomed out the nearest window.

Behind her, in the dust and wreckage, Starlight scowled at the pony entering the room.

"I said this wasn't funny, Trixie!"

"Trixie has to disagree!" The showmare laughed and pointed at the pegasus-shaped hole as 'Prince Zephyr Breeze' vanished. "Trixie thinks this is the best prank she has played in years!"

Session 62.20 Alex Warlorn

Fluttershy smiled and nodded from behind the game master screen. "Well Diamond Tiara, you've regained the power to speak to ponies and learned that monsters all just stranded in the land and ponies are just hurting them for being different, you can-"

"I tell the royal guard everything I learned about the monsters! All their strengths and weaknesses and where they're most vulnerable!"

"... What?"

Diamond Tiara shrugged, "What do you mean 'what?' We're at war."

Spoof of Crusader of Centy for the Sega Genesis.  

Session 62.21 Alex Warlorn and Ardashir

Rainbow Dash sighed with a grin. "Ah orcs, if only they valued life and peace like we do, then we wouldn't have to go to war and kill so many of them."

The Orc addressing the rest of the horde, while holding Fluttershy up by the tail said, "'Ere now, boys, looks like we's having 'orse meat tonight!"

Fluttershy whispered, "Excuse me, Uh, I really don't want to be eaten!"

"Meat doesn't talk. Bad meat."

"Oh! Sorry!"

Applejack spat an apple out of her mouth. "FLUTTERSHY! Ya don't apologize ta the sidewinder tryin' ta eat ya!" She would say more but the apple was stuffed back into her mouth by the Orc chef.

The Chef said, "Don't you go ruining my dinner, ya' nasty 'orse!" He Pointed at nearby sign.

It read, 'Tonight's Dinner -- Pureed Pegasus, Roast 'Orse, Unclean Unicorn.'

Rarity snarled, "Unclean?!? Moi? What does that even mean?"

Pinkie Pie shrugged from behind the screen. "I dunno, it was the first 'u' verb I thought of! Maybe the orcs are gonna cover ya with orc booze first? The little orcs look happy that it'll be horse meat for dinner tonight and hold up their plates high and give out happy cheers."

Rainbow Dash nodded, "Don't worry girls! I'll save you! I'll set fire to their school hut first to distract most of the able bodied adults."

Rarity wondered if that was an ancient griffin tactic Rainbow got from Gilda. That wasn't prejudice was it?

Pinkie Pie smiled and nodded, "Okay, Dashie. You dive on the school hut and..."

Rainbow Dash winced as she rolled a '1'.

"LEMME GO! YA LITTLE CREEPS!"

"'Yay!'" Pinkie called from behind the screen. "And the little orcs cheer as they cart you off in their net to the bonfire, 'Orcspawn Pony Dinner Catchers!'"

One of the orcs busily basting Rarity with orc ale smiled wiped away a tear. "That's m' boy. They grow up so fast."

Session 62.22 Mtangalion

It took Princess Twilight a few minutes to realize that the strange ringing sound in her castle halls was coming from her magic book, and not the mobile phone that Sunset Shimmer had loaned her. "Oh, that’s right!" she mused. "Sunset called me on the phone and complained that I never answer my book promptly, so I cast an audio alert spell on my book and... I probably should have given the book a different ‘ring tone.’ Heh..."

Still blushing a bit, she magically flipped through the book and read, ‘Princess Twilight, there’s something here that you really ought to see. -- Sunset’

Twilight raised an eyebrow, then levitated a quill and ink and wrote, ‘Sunset, we talked about this. If I keep meeting my other self...’

The book vibrated, and started ringing again, making Twilight grimace. "I definitely have to change that spell."

Sunset’s next message read, ‘Nothing bad will happen! But nevermind that, you really need to see this for yourself...’

Twilight smirked. ‘Sunset, are you really going to keep me in suspense for the thirty minutes that it would take me to leave a note, go through the portal, and reach that address... when you could just tell me now?’

Sunset wrote, ‘Spoil all the drama, why don’t you? Okay, fine. It’s your castle.’

Princess Twilight made it there in twenty-five minutes, even having to deal with walking on two legs and the crazy purple knee-boots that the portal insisted on giving her. "What... Why..."

Right in the middle of a cozy Canterlot City suburb, someone had built a sprawling three story building with a blue and purple crystal exterior. The billboard out front read "Friendship Castle Games and Amusements," and the sign next to it proclaimed, "NOW OPEN!"

"Why is this here?" blurted out Twilight. "It looks like it belongs in a ritzy upper Canterlot neighhood... or in Las Neighgas! Don’t humans have zoning laws? It doesn’t match the rest of the neighborhood at all!"

Sunset just gave her an insufferably smug grin, waggling her eyebrows.

"What!? It’s not like I got to pick what MY castle would look like. What do you think? Is this just one of those things, or did Discord go all in on a prank?"

"That’s what I plan on finding out," said Sunset.

After the receptionist issued them some Friendship Castle game cards, and Sunset paid to put some human money on them, Sunset and Princess Twilight had free access to the rest of the game center. The whole first floor was one big video arcade, every machine brand new.

Canterlot’s infamous Crusaders were there with Sweetie’s boyfriend Button Mash, but the girls were having too much fun with the latest Prance Prance Revolution machine to notice them. Button grinned and waved hi before getting back into his song, without missing a beat.

"Look at that," said Sunset, speaking up to be heard over the crowd. "It even has a Friendship Dungeon."

"Gah! It’s not a..." Princess Twilight froze, reading the sign by the stairs leading down. ‘Get your RPG on in the Friendship Dungeon! Featuring hosted roleplaying events, and comfortable roll your own adventure rooms with snacks and reference books provided.’ She laughed awkwardly. "I... guess it is a Friendship Dungeon."

"What are YOU guys doing here?" said an unexpected voice, giving them another surprise.

There was Sour Sweet, tapping her foot, with Sugarcoat on her left.

On her right... Sunset gasped, recognizing the odd cosplay girl from CrystalCon, now wearing a Crystal Prep uniform. "Alisa?"

The short girl’s face lit up. "Alisa’s really surprised, she didn’t plan this at all!"

"Oh, friends of yours?" said the fourth member of their group, a handsome ivory-skinned boy, also wearing a Crystal Prep uniform, with blond hair, a compass rose badge, and a class president ribbon.

"Blueblood?" gasped Princess Twilight.

Blueblood gave her a self-assured grin. "You’re looking well, Sparkle. I daresay, your sense of style has improved immeasurably. Perhaps transferring to a new school was the right move for you after all."

"That’s not the Twilight you’re thinking of," said Sugarcoat. "That’s..."

Sour Sweet put a hand over her mouth. "Sugarcoat, what did we talk about?"

Blueblood seemed puzzled, but dismissed it quickly. "We were just about to try out a new expansion to the O&O Equestria campaign setting. What was it called... Ah, yes. Wolfpony: The Unmasking. Perhaps you ladies would care to join us?"

Session 62.23 Alex Warlorn

"Okay Lord Murder! We're here to stop your evil rampage!" Rainbow Awesome Dash! said heroically, dressed up shinny silver armor and a long flowing cape and a beautiful golden sword.

"Ah!" Said Lord Murder, a towering green skinned figure with pimples and fangs, his glowing red eyes giving a glint of cunning. His black armor was covered in spikes. "But tell me Rainbow Awesome Dash!? Would you be a hero without me? Would you ever be able to save anypony if not for me? Good cannot exist without evil! Defeat me and cease to be a hero!"

Rainbow Awesome Dash! raised an eyebrow. "... That's stupid. Ponies don't need some jerk going around killing them to be nice to each other. I didn't need some loser hurting ponies for me to inspire them! My friend Fluttershy is still nice to ponies even though Gilda isn't a jerk to everything that move anymore! That's just an excuse for jerks, by jerks, so excuse themselves for being jerks!"

In Twilight's library, the Enchanted Comic of Dark Half, a classic by Cube-Circle never officially released outside of Neighpon, sparked and shuddered.

"Oh, not again!" Spike lamented. "Twilight! Can't you just go with the flow for once?!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Whao! Wait, if you're not in there-"

The comic forcibly flipped open, and spat out Rainbow Dash, flipped closed, its colors turned dull, and teleported away.

"Okay, and I thought only Twilight could make an Enchanted Comic actually crash. I mean with how much Gilda took that Hearth Warming Eve comic off the rails..."

"Do I get my money back for the rent if that happens?" Rainbow asked.

"No, not really, I checked," Twilight said sadly.

Session 62.24 Alex Warlorn

Meanwhile, in the game World of Horsecraft, the human Gilda, playing a Griffin, cheered as she got the rare drop from a limited time dungeon raid she was testing for release.

"Yes!" Gilda flew on top of her new giant mecha scorpion, complete with sharp claws and laser tail. "Now my deadly new weapon! Let's go and... cause... havoc...? Hey! How do I fire the laser and operate the claws!?"

"Oh you didn't know?" Gabby The Intern said helpfully. "It was decided that would break the game, they're just there to look cool, it's just a regular ground mount, not a tank."

Gilda's long string of words were automatically censored by the cussing filter in place. Gabby was worried they'd have to scrub the serves with soap later to clean out the filth.

Session 62.25 Ardashir

(Another mild movie spoiler. Be warned.)

"And there you are, standing before Crimson Storm, her hapless prisoners!" Spike said with an evil grin. The ladies looked worried as he said, "Her cape flaps in the wind! The torchlight glistens on her black iron armor and in her cold eyes! She grins at you wickedly, and asks, 'So! Anypony recognize me?'"

"Huh?" Six mares said as one.

"What does she mean, 'recognize'?" Twilight looked over at a nearby pile of comics and -- she shuddered -- pulp magazines. "Spike! Which of those gave you this idea?"

"This is my idea," Spike loftily responded. "I have some originality, you know. Now, are you answering her, or just sitting there in your shackles, wing restraints, and horn locks?"

"I'll answer her," Dash said. She jumped up into the air and pointed her hoof dramatically. "I say, 'Why should we recognize you? We never even saw you before you started conquering Ponyland, you fiend!' What?" She looked around at five disbelieving ponies. "Hey, 'fiend' is a great word! Ponies use it to describe Auitzotl all the time in Daring Do."

"Anyway!" Spike says. "Crimson Storm laughs and says, 'So, you've forgotten Crimson Shine already?'"

"Who?"

"Ugh!" Spike pointed at their character sheets. "You said I could come up with background elements this time? You all studied at the Ponyland Heroes Academy, remember? Only one student ever got expelled, because her horn got broken when she tried cheating that one time?"

Rarity's eyes lit up. "So Crimson Shine the maimed unicorn became Crimson Storm, the ruthless warlord?"

"That's right! I mean," Spike took a deep breath and did his best villain voice. "'Don't you all remember how everypony turned their backs on me, just because my broken horn reminded you what could happen if we were careless? How my 'friend' abandoned me?'"

"But we'd never do that!" Pinkie Pie leaped up on the table. She looked shocked. "When Dashie broke her wings we didn't send her away!"

Spike faceclawed. "Not YOU, Pinkie, your characters. And besides, Crimson Storm is the villain? She may have a self-serving memory." Abashed Pinkie sat back down. "So! Crimson Storm says, 'You rejected me, but now I am the master! You cast me out, made me an outcast, and I just wanted to say...'" Spike jumped up on the table and began walking closer and closer, trying to look as intimidating as he could. Twilight and the rest found themselves flinching back as he came closer. "And she says -- 'Thank you so very much!'"

"What?" Twilight blinked. "She's thanking us for chasing her away?"

"'Yes! If I'd stayed, I would have just been another Ponyland 'hero', a shepherd to ungrateful sheep. I'd have spent my days with tea parties and silly nonsense like that. Instead I have become the greatest warlord in the world! Entire nations shudder at the mention of my name; and I have your ostracism to thank for that!' And sparks come from her broken horn as she says it!" Spike threw his head back and laughed as wickedly as he could.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Little heavyhoofed, Spike."

"Aw, come on, it's not like this could ever happen for real."

That very night, hundreds of miles to the south, a broken-horned unicorn mare in the midst of a massive airship flotilla looked northwards. Towards Equestria.

Cold sparks played along her horn as she whispered one word, her eyes icy with hate.

"Soon."

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 62.0 JD Miles
Session 62.1 Alex Warlorn Mtangalion
Session 62.2 Alex Warlorn Mtangalion
Session 62.3 Alex Warlorn
Session 62.4 Alex Warlorn and BrutalityInc
Session 62.5 Mtangalion (continues from Session 62.1)
Session 62.6 Mtangalion and Alex Warlorn ((continues from Session 62.3 )
Session 62.7 Kendell2
Session 62.8 QuartzScale
Session 62.9 Mtangalion
Session 62.10 Ardashir (Note: Contains very mild spoilers about the upcoming MLP movie.)
Session 62.11 Mtangalion
Session 62.12 Alex Warlorn
Session 62.13 Kendell2
Session 62.14 Alex Warlorn
Session 62.15 Mtangalion
Session 62.16 Alex Warlorn
Session 62.17 Kendell2
Session 62.18 Kendell2
Session 62.19 Ardashir
Session 62.20 Alex Warlorn
Session 62.21 Alex Warlorn and Ardashir
Session 62.22 Mtangalion
Session 62.23 Alex Warlorn
Session 62.24 Alex Warlorn
Session 62.25 Ardashir

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Commissioned from @probablyfakeblonde at Texas Furry Fiesta 2017 (used with permission of commissioner, MtangaLion).
http://alexwarlorn.deviantart.com/art/Gilda-and-Princess-Twilight-playing-chess-671311519

Session 63

Session 63.0 Mtangalion

Thanks to sonicandmario826 for asking the question that inspired this. :)

"Yo, nerd princess!" shouted Gilda. "Uh, you know I mean that in the best possible way, right?"

When Princess Twilight flew out of the crystal castle halls, looking slightly cross, Rainbow Dash pointed a hoof at one of Twilight’s human computers. "It says the ‘network’ is down. Ugh, and just when I was about to play World of Horsecraft with Gilda! Can you fix it, Twi?"

"Let me have a look..." The computers had prototype hoof-friendly keyboards and mice now, but Twilight still prefered to work the human models with her magic. "It looks like the router needs to be restarted on Sunset’s end." She levitated a magic journal and a quill over. "I’ll let her know."

Rainbow watched, scratching her mane. "Um, Twilight? Didn’t Sunset give you that phone thing so you could talk to her just by, you know, talking to her? Why even use the journal at this point?"

Twilight gestured towards said phone, which was sitting on a pedestal in a charging cradle, which in turn was plugged into Twilight’s improvised mana converter, the same as the computers. "Because all the new human phones have these touch screens."

Gilda picked the phone up and poked a colorful icon with a claw, oohing when it zoomed in and opened a weather app. "So?"

"So!? It’s a capacitive touch screen, which operates based on the electrical conductivity of living tissue!"

Rainbow looked at Gilda, who shrugged, shaking her head. Dash looked back to Twilight. "Meaning?"

Twilight groaned. "Meaning, magic alone isn’t enough! The screen only responds when a physical object touches it. It works with hands and claws, but hooves are too big, and I am NOT using my tongue, not after what happened last time."

"Sunset did give me this special glove," added Twilight, opening a drawer and showing them a slim black five-fingered glove obviously not made anywhere in Equestria. "But frankly, I feel ridiculous using it." She demonstrated by pushing her magic into the glove and wiggling the fingers.

Gilda seemed mildly fascinated by this, lifting her own claw and making different gestures, which Twilight copied.

Princess Twilight sighed. "One time, I got so frustrated that I used my own magic to transform into a human, just to use the phone. Of course, then Starlight and Spike walked in, and I remembered that I didn’t have any clothes... Ugh, why am I even telling that story to you two?"

Gilda grinned insufferably. "I’d kinda like to see the tongue thing, myself."

Twilight swatted her with the glove.

Later...

Rainbow was slumped over a chair, bored out of her mind. "Isn’t the network fixed yet, Twi?"

Twilight read the latest note in the magic journal. "Soon, Dash. But, I think you lost your audience."

Gilda had the mobile phone gripped tight in both claws. "You greedy dirty pigs! Hah, that’ll teach you to steal eggs! Ooh yeah, BOOM!!"

Session 63.1 Kendell2

"So what's the game today?" asked Twilight, looking at the RPG box. Which was a bunch of teenagers and something random finding a monster in the closet.

"Okay, you know how they made all those 'teenagers and their wacky sidekick solve mysteries' things?" asked Spike.

"Yeah..."

"This is that, but as a game," Spike explained.

"...I'm game for that," Rainbow Dash replied. "So long as the sidekick doesn't get an annoying nephew..."

"...Do you hate that because you actually hate it or because it's popular to hate it?" Spike asked, seeming a bit miffed.

"...Uh..."

"And...um...didn't you pretend to BE that character when we were foals, Rainbow?" Fluttershy asked.

Gilda burst out laughing. "Yeah! She totally did! I remember it!"

Rainbow Dash blushed. "...Point taken..."

"...And that one time we actually DID end up foiling the school janitor when he dressed up as a monster..." the griffin remarked. "...Or was that a dream?"

"Anyway," the cyan pegasus interjected. "Who gets to be the wacky sidekick and what will it be?"

Session 63.2 Mtangalion

Gilda gave Gerulf the stink eye. "When you said that today was the day we were gonna taunt ponies and sit on their castle..."

Gabby grinned sheepishly, touching two claws together. "You have to admit, it is kinda funny."

Four griffons... four normal-sized and definitely not giant griffons... sat on the roof of Twilight’s crystal castle, ignoring the lawn chairs that Rainbow Dash had set out for chillaxing in favor of perching on the railing, where they could look down on all of Ponyville.

Gerulf chuckled, shrugging. "Your friends seem to be getting into the spirit of things."

"You puny ponies look like mice from up here!" crowed Gerold, lifting a claw and making a very griffon-ish gesture at the ponies below. "Hah, what do you think of that?!"

Far below, Lyra gasped. "That’s not very nice!" She started galloping away. "Just you wait until I get one of my gloves so I can do that back at you!"

Gilda snickered, then remembered that she was annoyed with Gerulf, and fluffed her feathers up in a huff. "You’re the biggest troll in Equestria, even when you aren’t BIG."

Gerulf shrugged his big wings grandly. "Oh, I doubt that one like myself, a mere few centuries old, could even hold a candle to Celestia, or your chaos godling whom I’ll not name." He grinned thoughtfully. "Perhaps later, I’ll resume my natural size and..." He leaned and whispered something to Gilda, making her blush something fierce.

"Uh oh, better watch out!" shouted Applejack’s voice from below. "Gilda’s ego might just crush us all! Heck, Ah bet her flank’s big enough to flatten a barn or two already!"

Gilda sprang back over to the railing. "Don’t you make me come down there!" She held two claws outstretched. "I’m crushing your head! Ooh, I’m crushing your head!"

"Oh my!" Four griffon heads turned to see Fluttershy hovering near the rooftop. "Somepony told me that, um..." Her voice got very quiet. "... there was a pigeon infestation on Twilight’s roof... I’ll just be going now!" She zipped away.

"Yo!" Two more griffons flew in, joining them on the rooftop railing. Gilda was surprised to recognize that pair that she’d seen before, from the local construction company. "Is this a private party, or can anygriff join in?"

"Aw, yeah!" boomed yet another griffon, this one still wearing a cooking apron from Ponyville’s meat restaurant. "I haven’t been to a good perch-in in ages!"

Gabby folded a newspaper into a pirate hat and a sword... she’d mastered origami in half an hour back when she’d been hunting for a "cutie mark." "Yarrr! We griffons be claiming this castle for Griffonstone!"

"Hey!" shouted a foal’s voice, not from below, but on the roof with them! Pipsqueak pointed a hoof at them all. "Who said you lot could play pirates in Ponyville?"

"Without inviting us?" added his mysterious playmate Moonlight, standing beside him.

"You said it!" shouted Dinky Hooves.

The huge owl-bear thing behind them hooted his approval.

Gilda pointed a claw. "Okay, what the squawk is that thing? How did you pint-sized ponies even get up here..."

Gerulf stepped in front, wings spread. "Griffons! We have been challenged!" He grinned at each of them in turn. "Shall we show them our heroic mettle?"

Spike ran into Twilight’s study, claws clapped over his ears. "Twilight! When are they going to stop singing sea shanties at each other!? The griffons can’t sing in tune to save their lives, and the foals aren’t much better!"

"Not now, Spike!" said Princess Twilight, wearing her winter earmuffs. "I’ve almost perfected the tree growing spell that will get us our nice quiet library back."

Session 63.3 Alex Warlorn

"You do realize that it won't be 'our nice quiet library', it'll be just a NEW tree that you make into a library. I'm pretty sure your books say that isn't healthy as you'll cheapen the old library tree as something that can be replaced emotionally, and also expected the new library to be a clone of the old one with any deviances being seen as a failure on its part. And I'm pretty sure Mayor Mare declared our toasted library a memorial site for your battle with Tirek."

"I'll just pick out a new site, and that'll be that." Twilight said, getting in, THAT mood again.

Then the light through one of the windows focused, and set Twilight's parchment with her notes for the spell on fire.

"HEY!"

"Uh..." Spike said unsure. "I think you just made the castle jealous."

"Spike! It's a CASTLE! A magically created castle that always seems to have new rooms and I'm pretty sure is bigger on the inside than outside, but it's still just a castle! It doesn't have feelings! Otherwise it would have done something when Chrysalis' changelings replaced us all. Right?"

"Maybe it doesn't run on -pony- sense of right and wrong?"

"Now you're just being ridiculous Spike! Hey! The singing stopped!"

Twilight stepped out, to find in the foyer, the griffins from upstairs all now dressed up as maids and butlers, all with spiral eyes.

"Oh beautiful, intelligent, and charming Princess Twilight Sparkle, we welcome you, your obedient servants, which makes this whole castle much better than any library."

"STARLIGHT!!!!!!!" Twilight used the Royal Canterlot Voice.

"IT WASN'T ME I SWEAR!" She shouted back.

"I don't want servants!" Twilight's voice echoed through the castle.

"Then what am I?" Spike asked.

"You're my personal ASSISTANT!"

"Oh beautiful, intelligent, and charming Princess Twilight Sparkle, we welcome you, your personal assistants-"

"I only need one!"

The griffins blinked and screeched. Gilda ripping off the maid uniform. "AGH! That was horrible! I wanted to clean stuff, smile, and say how perfectly great and greatly perfect Princess Dweep is!"

Gabby kept the costume on. "Don't look at me, I wasn't hypnotized."

"For goodness sake Spike! There is no way this castle is self aware! That is cliche, forced, and used up in every fantasy story I've ever read! I'd move back into mom and dad before I sleep in a castle I knew was watching me all the time!"

The castle shuddered... then all was still and silent and unmoving, forever.

--

"Spike, where'd you get all those crunchy rainbow colored gems?" Pinkie Pie asked at their next game session.

"I broke them off of the castle walls."

"SPIKE! YOU WHAT?" Twilight asked upset. "You aren't eating our house!"

"It's no big deal, the wall always grows back anyway."

--

"And so to prevent further dimensional contamination, Moonlight has 'moved to Elsewhere', and and Olo the Owlbear returned to my subconscious. And Castles will NOT be fully sapient beings." Princess Luna conceded.

--
(Hail Knights of the Dinner Table.)

"Okay girls, you see the branches of the forest swaying from a zephyr."

"A zephyr?!" AJ gasped. "Draw yer weapons girls! Ah'm drawin' mah bow!"

"Spike the wizard bringing his fireballs online!"

"Diplomacy! I try to get the zephyr to be my friend!" Pinkie said quickly.

"I pray for my goddess' protection!" Rarity said.

"Does the zephyr appear friendly? Maybe I can tame it." Fluttershy said.

"Oh for crying out loud, a zephyr is a WIND girls!"

Twilight stared.

"Twilight, I'm the ex captain of Ponyville's weather team! What makes you think I WOULDN'T know what a zephyr was?"

"... Point taken."

"And Fluttershy, it's your brother's NAME, an you don't know what it means?!"

"I... I may have failed my weather examine."

"Anypony else feel strange that we're actually having fun with a table top RPG instead of an enchanted comic, a LARP, or a video game?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Naw," the others all shrugged.

+++

Shining Armor looked at a locked door, and wondered what that was about, there was something important in there wasn't there? He opened the door in the Crystal Empire Castle, his high school classmates falling out in a pile.

"WE'RE SAVED!" Gaffer cried.

"WE'RE FREE!" Poindexster cheered.

"HONEY! BUTTON MASH! 16-BIT! DADDY'S COMING!" Cried 8-Bit.

"How long have you guys been stuck in there?"

"TOO LONG! We kept tunneling but the place keep growing back!"

"Sorry guys! I don't know what happened! It's like I forgot about you with everything that happened!" Shining Armor apologized.

Session 63.4 Kendell2

"Okay, so how exactly did yah convince Twilight tah do this?" asked Applejack, the group in an Enchanted Comic...or Enchanted Manega as the case may be. "Ah thought she hated Masked Bug Rider."

"Dislike more than hate," Twilight replied. "But I liked the way this season played with video games and the writing was actually pretty solid with a lot of good foreshadowing."

"So what exactly IS this game, darling?" Rarity asked, holding up a strange, game cartridge like device with the 'box art' featuring several blacked out figures, the one up front having glowing green eyes. "...And why does this say Kamane Rider Chronicle? I thought it was called Masked Bug Rider."

"Cause in Neighpon that's what they called it and the dialog in this is dubbed, not so much the written stuff," Rainbow replied. "Some weird translation thing...*Anyway, it's based off of the latest guy, Ex-Aid. Long story short there's this game called Kamane Rider Chronicle, or Masked Bug Rider Chronicle, I just think Kamane Rider Chronicle rolls off the tongue better, kinda like that one animane where kids are trapped in a VR game. They modified it enough to make it a fun game. Anyway, we've got to fight monsters called Bugsters to stop the bad guy, got it?"

"...Yes..." Fluttershy said.

"So it's a game we're playing within a game we're playing?!" asked Pinkie Pie. "Gameception!"

"Yes...Alright, then let's find the first baddie..."

And they soon did, finding a strange blue, equinoid monster with a snail motif wearing a hat and cape, who was currently rampaging with a small army of strange, orange headed creatures all dressed like cooks.

"Okay...so now what?" asked Applejack asked.

"Follow my lead..." said Rainbow Dash, taking out her strange cartridge-like device and clicking the green button extending next to the 'mother board' on it.

"KAMANE RIDER CHRONCILE!" it announced, followed by a brief music clip.

Rainbow tossed hers into the air and caught it. "Henshin!" she called before clicking the button a second time.

"ENTER THE GAME! RIDING THE END!" it announced with a music cue, green energy going through the ground, yellow energy forming over her and transforming into a rather plain looking armored form, the base suit being black with silver stripes and leg and forearm armor, the primary colorscheme for the upper arm and chest armor and helmet being two tone brown (with the chest and part of her helmet being light brown), with video game-like animane-style eyes under her visor.

Rainbow Dash took out a bad she'd brought in and quickly 'customized' herself with some Wonderbolts memorabilia.

The others blinked, then followed suit, with Applejack taking off her hat before transforming and replacing it afterwards.

"Ugh...this is so drab, darling..." muttered Rarity.

"Don't worry, the game is set up so we get more special forms later on," Rainbow Dash replied.

"Alright, let's kick his flank!" Applejack called, charging in.

"Wait!" Rainbow Dash yelled...then cringed as the sound of lightning striking sounded and Applejack was sent flying back, smoking. The Bugster laughed and mocked Applejack for being 'too weak'. "...He's Level 10, we're barely even Level 1. I know this is weird coming from me, but don't go in all Leeroy Jenkins!...Plus, this is kinda a Rogue Like and if you die, your character goes bye bye and you have to start over."

"Alright then, what DO we do?" asked the farmer, dusting herself off.

"Simple, take out the mooks first to level up, then use power ups on the big guy," the cyan pegasus replied, producing a weapon resembling a short sword and charging, attacking the minions.

"...I like that there's actual strategy involved in this," Twilight replied, charging in.

The group fought of the mooks for a bit until there were no more left, with Fluttershy primarily using 'deadly dodging', on accident mostly.

"Okay, so NOW what?" Applejack asked.

"Power ups!" Rainbow called as the boss began charging up his lightning attack. She jumped up, breaking what looked like a large chocolate block and revealing circlar token depicting a character with a sword breaking on them. Grabbing it, it absorbed into her and made her gain a chrome silver sheen. She charged the monster, the lightning bolt having no effect as she reached him and slashed him several times.

"Okay..." said Applejack, looking around and finding another, which she broke to reveal another token showing a pony flexing, which she collected, causing her to briefly bulk up before returning to normal. She promptly charged forwards and mule kicked the monster, sending him flying back. "Alright, now THIS is more like it!"

Twilight tapped her chin, breaking several and finding power up. "Looks like they're pretty clear on what they mean..."

"Oh! I'll take this one, darling!" Rarity commented, grabbing one with a character turning invisible, causing herself to do likewise.

Fluttershy eeped as the monster fired at her after knocking away Rainbow and AJ, looking around and grabbing a power up showing a beam reflecting off a person. The lightning attack did just that and sent it right back at the monster, knocking him on his back. "Oops...sorry..."

"You're tougher than you look..." muttered the monster, getting back to his feet...right as Rarity snuck up behind him while invisible and did several precision slashes to him, mainly mainly from the knees and vitals.

"Watch yourself, darling," Rarity commented, jumping back.

"Ah! That will do!" Twilight said, finding one showing three of the pony figures and collecting it, causing her to split into seven copies of herself. All seven turned their swords into a gun mode (the instructions were on the handle) and firing at the monster, sending him craching backwards. "I'm liking the strategic aspect of this..."

"Alright, time to finish him off!" said Rainbow Dash, grabbing a power up depicting the pony jumping high into the air. Applejack followed suit and both jumped high up into the air.

"Okay, so no what?!" asked Applejack.

"This!" Rainbow called, doing front flip. "Rainbow Critical Punch!" she shouted, a 'finisher splash' coming across the panel as her hoof became surrounded by rainbow colored lightning bolts.

"Uh...okay..." said Applejack, clearning her throat. "Uh...Apple Critical Kick!" she called, getting the same as she came down with a drop kick, her hind hooves being surrounded by energy apples.

The monster looked up with a surprised look before they connected, sending him flying and causing him to explode.

"GAME CLEAR!" announced a voice from nowhere, the words projecting into the air above the fire.

Rainbow Dash caught another of the game cartridge-like things, only this one had a much shorter 'mother board'. "One down!"

"That was actually kind of fun, having to overcome a stronger opponent by strategy and team up," Twilight replied, getting up. "Now what?"

"We should be getting to design our actual games now..." Rainbow replied, as in game a black cart pulled up next to them.

* Funny story, typing 'Kamen Bug Rider into Google Translate, at least for me, still yields 'Kamen Raida' rather than anything else.

Session 63.5 whitebearboy

Meanwhile, in the Human World...

"So, what is this Underlegend game about?" asked Fluttershy as she looked at the new game Rainbow Dash had gifted her. "Well, it's kind of complicated, but, basically, it's about this kid (we never learn if they're a boy or a girl) who falls into an underground kingdom of monsters." answered Rainbow Dash.

"Oh, that sounds scary!" said Fluttershy as visions flashed through her head of a vulnerable little child lost in a cave full of fearsome monsters.

"No, no, the monsters aren't that bad!" Rainbow Dash said quickly. "They do attack the kid, but, like, you can get them to stop attacking and be your friends if you figure out how. Underlegend is known as 'the friendly RPG where no one has to die'!"

"Oh, well, in that case, this sounds like just my kind of game!" Fluttershy said happily as she opened the game and watched the intro, which told how monsters had been sealed underground after a war with humans long ago, and showed the protagonist child climbing up a fabled mountain and falling down a hole into the monsters' subterranean prison. After typing in a name for the Fallen Child, which she assumed referred to her character, Fluttershy guided the child forward into the next room from the patch of flowers they had landed on. "Oh, a talking flower, how adorable!" Fluttershy squealed as she encountered her first character in the Underground.

(OOC: Someone else can continue this.)

Session 63.6 Ardashir

Sunset Shimmer had just settled herself down to a study session, turned on some music by her favorite band, and dared to relax -- when the call came through on her cellphone (which courtesy of Twilight now had a extra-dimensional connection):

"SUNSET? WE NEED YOUR HELP RIGHT NOW TWILIGHT TRIXIE AND STARLIGHT HAVE ALL GONE NUTS!"

She never ran so fast to the mirror gate as she did that day. She burst through to find a horrified Spike facing her.

"Sunset!" He grabbed her by her mane. "You gotta help! Twi's gone off the deep end!"

"Again?" Sunset regretted her tired flippancy when Spike gave her a wounded look. "I mean, what is it this time? She's being mind controlled? Someone put a curse on her?"

"No, it's something she drank!" Spike raced from the chamber Sunset hot on his scaly heels. From outside came neighs and snorts of equine laughter, but with such a manic tone it put Sunset's teeth on edge.

She froze as a thunderous boom seemed to come right through the ceiling. She glanced to make sure the roof was still on the palace.

"Hah!" Starlight yelled somewhere outside, her voice wild. "See THAT? Try and do better, Trixie, if you can!"

"The GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie will never be topped! Except maybe in her dreams by Feather Bangs, but pretend you never heard that!" Trixie's joyous shriek rang out in response. By now Sunset followed Spike to a door leading outside, one knocked off its hinges and smoldering. Behind her in the map-and-gaming room small figurines, books, and dice were scattered on the table. Sunset saw her three friends standing under a clear night sky. They looked to be almost vibrating as Trixie pointed her horn skywards and said, "Now watch THIS!"

Trixie's horn glowed like steel in a blast furnace. Her smile became a rictus and Sunset barely closed her eyes in time. Even through the lids she felt a painfully bright flash of light and heard a rolling BOOM that reminded her of the time a lightning bolt struck maybe twenty feet away from her. What sounded like a roar echoed from above as the massive spellbolt lashed out into the sky.

More delighted laughter came.

"That was great!" Starlight said. Trixie leaped to her hind legs and bowed.

"That was nothing!" Twilight Sparkle trotted out between the two. "I'll show you two a spellbolt!"

"Twilight!" Sunset dared to run out into the middle of the three mares. They grinned madly, jittering from hoof to hoof, sparks coming from their horns as she said, "What is wrong with you three? You're acting like you're drunk!"

"We're not as think as you drunk we are!" Trixie said, as Twilight and Starlight collapsed laughing. "We feel great!"

"I've never been so awake!" Starlight teleported close to Sunset, then to the roof of the palace, then fifty feet straight up. Before Sunset could grab her with magic Starlight ran down on steps made of magic.

"Me neither!" Twilight said. She danced awkwardly on her hooves. Sunset wondered if she was celebrating or trying not to go to the bathroom. "I feel like I could raise the sun and moon! And I have you to thank for it, Sunset!"

"What?"

"Ask Spike! We're gonna tour Equestria!" And with that the trio vanished, teleporting away.

Sunset looked at the little dragon in confusion.

"Uh, well, they were playing an O&O game earlier," Spike nervously scratched his scales. "And it was getting late, but they didn't want to stop... So they asked if I could give them that stuff you sent through from the mirror last week."

"You boiled up that Egyptian coffee," Sunset asked flatly.

Spike shook his head 'no'.

"You gave them the Jolt cola to drink?"

"We-ell...." Spike waggled the claws of one hand. "Yes -- and no. I sorta... used that 'Jolt' stuff to boil the coffee in and then served it all."

"You WHAT?" Spike winced as Sunset said, "Are you INSANE? You gave three of the most powerful unicorns in Equestria some of the strongest coffee in my entire world, boiled in a mixture of pure caffeine and sugar?" She stalked forward, forcing him to look her in the eyes. "Do you have any idea how bad that can get?"

"Do you?" Spike asked defiantly.

With a snap of a teleport Twilight and Trixie reappeared. Sunset and Spike blinked to see Trixie now had longer legs and sported wings.

Worse, Twilight bore Luna's cutie mark, and Trixie had Celestia's.

"WowStarlightDidn'tLieSheReallyCANChangeThePrincessesCutieMarks!" Trixie hurtled through the words. "IHopeCelestiaLikesMine!" She grinned at Spike and Sunset. "Hey! New game! Polymorphing contest!"

"You're on, Trixie!"

"No, wait --!"

Too late. The spells were hurled, the transformations were done, and Trixie and Twilight vanished with a laugh.

Sunset the Phoenix glared at a purple and green pufferfish in a bucket of water.

"Being a dog was more dignified than this," was all Spike had to say.

Session 63.7 Alex Warlorn

"Okay everypony, ready to begin?" Dinky asked at the Oubliette Overseer screen looking around... "Hey, where's Pipsqueak?"

"I'm here!"

Noi, Ruby, and Featherweight turned around to see Pipsqueak hop in through the door of the Crystal Friendship Castle room Princess Twilight had set up for foals to play table top games. "Hi! Sorry I'm late! Had to get my things together!"

Pipsqueak put down his character sheet on the table, along with some extremely beautiful hand carved dice that looked liked they'd been made from precious stones. And a figurine of his character that was obviously custom, down to even the smallest detail like the love charm he carried from a fling with a seapony in game.

Dinky looked over the game screen and at Pipsqueak's character sheet, her eyes widened. "Two Plus 5 Daggers of damage resistance penetration? A plus 5 coat of elemental resistance? A sash of perfect fluid motion? Horse shoes of water walking? A headband of arrow deflection?! A ring of Air Elemental Command AND a ring of Water Elemental Command?!?!!!! A tattoo of ogre strength?! An eyepatch of true seeing?! Pipsqueak! Where did your character get all of this?!"

Pipsqueak blinked. "Oh, it's all legitimate! Don't worry! Princess Luna ran me through some exposition modules. So let's set off for adventure right?" The foal smiled, dressed in costume much like his character with (hopefully) non-magical props.

Ruby asked, "Aren't those adventure less about winning and more about how long your characters survive?"

"That's TOURNAMENT modules," Dinky explained. Then narrowed her eyes. "Exposition modules basically hand out treasure so players will feel super great will want to buy the rule books."

Pipsqueak looked genuinely confused. "But Princess Luna is a certified Oubliette Overseer, she wouldn't run me through any adventure that weren't fair. He's at the right level. And I made him the way the rule books describe."

"Rule books? As in more than one?"

"Well, yes, Princess Luna got me this too." Pipsqueak showed a supplement book title 'Swash Buckles Vital Handbook.'

Dinky sighed. If she rejected his character outright, she was bound to get nightmares this week, if she had this adventure suddenly take place where none of Pipsqueak's items did any good or had him targeted by every thief in her campaign world, she's be violating the honor of being an Oubliette Overseer. Not to mention that she'd have to deal with Pipsqueak's character stealing all the glory, or she'd have to load up Noi, Ruby, and Featherweight's characters with similar loads of junk, ruining the growth of the entire adventure... 'This is going to be a long session.'

Session 63.8 Alex Warlorn

SPOILERS FOR FAME AND MISFORTUNE!

"Crowd still out there Spike?" Twilight called, the girls huddled in for what was going to be a very long game of Ogres and Oubliettes, table top style.

"Sure seems that way, they've divided up into camps outside... and they seem to be debating on who you should all get married to."

Twilight tried to ignore the headache that new caused.

"RAINBOW DASH!" AK Yearling, not dressed up as Daring Do... came stomping in.

"AK YEARLING? HOW'D YOU GET IN HERE?!" Twilight gasped.

"You think I couldn't get in here... I'm Daring Do remember?... " Yearling growled. And she pulled out a copy of the Friendship Journal... showing the events of the chapter entitled "Daring Don't"... "And I didn't want other ponies to KNOW THAT!!!"

Rainbow Dash paled. "Uh-oh."

Session 63.9 Grogar-the-Onser

"Twilight, before Daring unleash her wrath on us, I want to say this is why I decided to stay in the castle for awhile. Cause I literally called the deranged fans and possible ticked off ponies who were apart of said lessons when Twilight said she was publishing it," Spike said.

"You did no such thing," Twilight snapped.

"No but I was thinking about it pretty hard," Spike admitted.

Session 63.10 Kendell2

"Okay, I'm just going to say it now: this was Twilight's bad..." said Rainbow Dash.

"MY bad?" asked Twilight. "How?!"

"I wrote the passage but you didn't think to double check them first!" Rainbow Dash pointed out. "I thought that would be for OUR EYES ONLY back then!"

"I don't CARE who's fault it is!" Yearling replied. "Someone fix it!"

Twilight sighed. "You're right, this WAS a mistake, but I'm sure I can fix it..."

"Time travel?" asked Spike.

"No! We've been there! Never again!" the Princess replied. "Now let's think this through, it's not like one of Daring Do's enemies didn't know she and AK Yearling were the same person and is going to do something drastic because of it, right?"

Suddenly, the wall exploded dramatically. "Daring Do!" yelled Ahuizotl, laughing manically. "At long last, I have discovered where you were hiding between our confrontations! Now there is no escape from me! The great Ahuizotl!"

Yearling gave a glare to them. "You were saying?!"

Twilight gulped as the two prepared to have an epic battle in the middle of her castle. "Think...think...think..." she muttered, almost hyperventilating...

"Who would've thought that this entire time, you and your little 'ghost writer' were one and the same?!" asked Ahuizotl, laughing. "To be honest, I never put two and two together, even when that sell out Caballeron told me! You, the great Daring Do, hiding as a reclusive little writer! How drool."

Twilight gasped, a lightbulb going off next to her head. "That's it!" she muttered in a hushed whisper. She turned to Rainbow Dash and whispered something in Rainbow's ear. The mare nodded and gave a salute, silently dashing off and taking Daring's bag with her. "Uh...that's because...uh...It's not true!"

"What?!" asked both the adventurer and her mortal nemesis.

"Uh...yeah, you see that was just a tie in to the the novel Yearling wrote based off it! Promotional stuff!" Twilight replied. "They're different ponies!"

Ahuizotl gave a chuckle. "You really expect me to believe that?!" announced the supervillain in his typical over the top evil ham.

"Yes! Because...Daring Do is ALSO here! She's in the bathroom!" the lavender Alicorn continued. "She'll be out in a moment!"

"Did someone call me?" asked a voice.

The group turned to see Dash emerge into the room, having dressed up as Daring Do and gotten a change of fur color to match (thankfully Trixie had happened to be in the castle playing O&O in the game room with her group). She then saw Ahuizotl." Ahuizotl? Aww, do you miss me so much you tracked me all the way to this little town?"

Ahuizotl blinked in confusion, then Yearling gave a smirk and, as her author alter ego pretended to stagger back from him in fear.

Rainbow Dash gave a smirk and zoomed in between them. "Leave her out of this, Ahuizotl! This is between you and me!"

The supervillain gave a snarl, looming over them...then giving a relieved sigh. "Thank the gods, I was worried for a second!"

"...You were?" asked Twilight, raising an eyebrow.

"My mortal nemesis reduced to a mere pony hiding in the forest?!" asked Ahuizolt dramatically. "It made our battles somehow seem less! Our larger than life confrontations little more than diversions! I am grateful it was but a publicity stunt!"

The mythological monster jumped back. "And so, we shall meet again Daring Do! On a field of battle more worthy of rivals such as I!...Also, I will one day kill you all in a fiery apocalypse!" he shouted, then exited...once again through the wall.

"...Alright, well that worked..." said Dash, rubbing her face and making the illusion spell disappear. "But what about the book?"

"I've got an idea about that..." said Twilight, giving a smile.

And thus a 'reissue' was sent out with a preamble that'd been 'forgotten' from the first release stating the events of the Daring Do chapters were tie ins to Rainbow's appearances in the Daring Do books and not how the events that inspired them actually transpired, as well as a public announcement of such.

Session 63.11 Grogar-the-oneser

Meanwhile at Sweet Apple Acres...

"Granny Ah feel guilty about this," Apple Bloom said as she loaded the last unconcious fan of AJ on the cart.

"They were eatin' us out of house and home and won't work! Quite frankly addin' sleep potion to their food and loadin' 'em on the next train out of town would be good for them." Granny stated.

"But would they believe that?" Big Macintosh questioned.

"That's why we're drenchin' 'em in alcoholic cider, make 'em think they accidentally drank it and got so worked up they accidentally left town," Granny smith stated.

"But what if they come back?"

"By then, hopefully we can talk sense into my grand-daughter to see the difference between carin' for family and working ourselves to death for visitors," Granny angrily muttered.

Session 63.12 Ardashir

(Continuation of 63.7)

"Okay," Dinky said, forcing herself to remember some of the lessons she'd gotten from Doctor Whooves on how to handle powerful enemies and allies. "I think I've thought of a way to handle your," incredibly over-powered thanks to Luna, "character, Pipsqueak."

"I can still use him, right?" Pipsqueak asked, sounding uncertain.

"Of course," Dinky said, displaying a sweet and innocent smile that would have sent any experienced O&O player running for the border. Because it meant, 'the Overseer is Up To Something.'

Later

"Girls!" Noi yelled as she cast her spells at the onrushing monsters. "Lil' help here!"

"We're on it!" Ruby and Featherweight said, hurrying to her side where they added their spells to hers. They rolled their dice and looked at Dinky anxiously.

"And!" Dinky grinned. "You've knocked down the first wave! But behind them the Squizzard is waving his tentacles as he casts yet another spell! 'Hah!' he says, 'You troublesome ponies are still no match for me! My skeleton ponies will defeat you all -- just as soon as that demon I conjured through my well of worlds can help them!'"

Dinky then turned to Pipsqueak, sitting slightly apart from the rest where he faced the Squizzard's unexpected champion. A mighty (but lesser) balrog that looked like an evil, fanged and bat-winged Celestia faced his plucky hero.

"Here's my latest roll, is it any good?" Pipsqueak showed Dinky the dice.

"It's great! You caused severe damage to the balrog," Dinky waited for Pipsqueak to stop hopping up and down in excitement. "Unfortunately she's still able to fight! 'Cursed moon-loving hero!' She says, 'I will first defeat you, and then your spell-casting friends, and finally your dumb night-bringing Princess Moon!'"

"No you won't, villain!" Pipsqueak rose up as defiantly as such a small colt could. "I will protect the fair Princess Moon from your wickedness!" He returned to rolling the dice for the next attack as Dinky prepared the moves of the balrog and the Squizzard.

It was just like Doctor Whooves, her mom, and Princess Twilight told her: As long as everyone was having fun, you were doing a good job as Overseer.

And wasn't that what games were all about?

In the Equestria Girls world, online:

"Hah!" Adagio almost writhed as energy seemed to flow right off the computer screen in front of her and into the new and still-weak Siren Amulet she wore. "Yes! Those geeks are fighting over everything in the new game; we should have thought of this long ago!"

"Yeah, well, just try and not to get fat from sitting there all the time, Adagio," Aria complained, her arms folded. "We need to get our amulets back too."

Beside her Sonata just looked into their tiny remaining scrap of the magic mirror, delighting as its magic showed her what she wanted most. Her back in her siren form and being served endless food by a re-Sirenified Adagio and Aria, both of them in maid outfits.

Session 63.13 Kendell2

"Did they have to include the whole surgery scene, darling?" Rarity asked, giving a shudder. Granted it just skipped away before it could get too dark, but still.

"Eh, it wasn't that bad," said Rainbow Dash. "It's just how the powers work, you've got to get this immunization thing to use the actual Belts."

"...And Rare, ya did know there was a 'skip cutscene' command, right?" Applejack asked. Fluttershy nodded, having used it.

"...I do now..." the fashionista said flatly.

"That does make sense," said Twilight. "Antibodies would be quite useful in combating sapient viruses."

"...Okay, so that Mr. Expert Stage* said we needed games fer our powers," said Applejack. For some reason Rainbow seemed to be trying not to laugh during that part of the comic. AJ got the feeling she knew something they didn't. "So what does he mean?"

Rainbow Dash gave a smirk, flying back. "Like any time you come up with a spell or power set up! We think of how the game works and we'll make it...Though Expert Stage will act like they were his ideas...it's in character for him...I've already got mine ready!"

"...You could've told us that ahead of time..." said Twilight, a little annoyed.

The cyan pegasus rubbed the back of her head. "Yeah, sorry about that...Can I still explain my game?"

"Probably a good idea, it will give us some idea what to do with ours..." the alicorn replied. As with most of these games, the in universe characters seemed incapable of noticing she was one.

"Alright! My game is called Breakneck Bolt! A nonstop thrill-ride action game! You're trying to stop a tyrannical despot on an island as an awesome secret agent while dashing, shooting, and blowing your way through a free roaming world! With LOTS of weapons!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, the group jumping as another of the cartage appeared in her hoof, a cyan colored one with a classic, retro style game cover on the side, staring a character wearing full, Wonder Bolt inspired armor with an explosion behind them, dual wielding a rocket launcher and grenade launcher.

"...Subtle..." Rarity said flatly.

"Eh, the bad guys blow up when we beat them anyway!" Rainbow Dash said. "At least now they have a reason to!"

"...Alright, so we need game mechanics, plot, main character, and genre?" asked Twilight. "Okay, I can work with that..."

* Kuroto Dan's name, if read in Japanese style (Dan Kuroto), basically means 'Expert Stage'.

OOC: Rainbow Dash's game is pretty much Just Cause 3.

Session 63.14 Mtangalion

The flock of griffons stormed out of Princess Twilight’s castle, their feathers still ruffled from being forcibly turned into maids and butlers. "Well, I’m out," grumbled the griff from the construction crew.

"Time to am-scray," agreed the hen. "Should have known those ponies wouldn’t let us have any real fun."

Gabby held a claw out. "But..." Her wings drooped when the pair ignored her and flew off.

The chef from the meat restaurant gave Gabby a sly grin and a wink as he strutted past. "But it was great while it lasted." He grabbed what was left of his suit-jacket and tore it off so he could spread his wings properly. "Catch you later, toots."

"Well, that’s just fantastic," said Gilda, watching him fly away as well.

Gerold blinked, then looked all around, turning in a circle. "Aren’t we missing somegriff? Where’s Gerulf?" He scratched his crest with a claw. "I don’t remember seeing him in a suit. What’s up with that?"

All three of them jumped when a familiar voice spoke faintly in their heads. ‘This way, young ones.’

The griffons glanced at each other, Gerold seeming at a loss for words, and Gabby shrugging her wings. "Let’s go," said Gilda finally, and they took to the air, following her.

They found Gerulf just inside the Everfree... grown back to his enormous true size and sprawled across a whole forest clearing. Gilda flew right up to the reddish-brown furred and black-feathered behemoth, bold as brass, and hovered in front of a beak that could have swallowed her whole. "That was totally not cool back there. What the squawk happened?! Where’d you go?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Gerold swooped in, getting between them. "That’s Gerulf!?"

Gilda smirked. "Um... yeah? I told you he was a Grand Griffon, didn’t I?"

Gerold sputtered, "Well, yeah! But you didn’t tell me he was so..."

"Big!" exclaimed a delighted Gabby, eyes wide and sparkling. She hopped on top of one of Gerulf’s paws, dancing from toe to toe. "Big!" Then she was on his flank, struggling to lift a single one of his wings. "BIG!" In another flash she was perching on top of his head, pumping a clawed fist like she’d just soared to the highest peak of Mount Canterhorn.

Gerulf chuckled, rumbling. "Yes, yes I am." Then he sighed heavily. "Not that it was of much use today. Hmph! A fine protector I am, not being able to defend the griffons in my care from an enchanted castle, of all things. Still, I had a very stern talk with the pony princesses. The castle has been dealt with. It will not happen again."

Poor Gerold was still gawking, and something finally seemed to click for Gilda. "Right... This is the first time you guys have seen him like this. But seriously, dude... What did you think we meant when we kept talking about giant griffons, and the Idol of Astra, and him being hundreds of years old." Gilda blinked. "Wait, wait... you didn’t think we were *roleplaying*, did you?"

"Give me a break!" countered Gerold, jabbing a feather at her "Boreas, Astra, Grand Griffons... those are just dumb hatchling tales! Mom and dad always said, any day now they were gonna swoop in and fix everything and put griffons back on top... but they never did!"

Gerulf cleared his throat, amused. His idly flicking tail thumped against a whole strand of trees.

Gerold gave the giant griffon an exasperated look. "Yeah, yeah, obviously I don’t still think that *now*. But if you’re real, then where have you guys been?" He flew back and forth, pacing in midair. "I mean, have you seen Griffonstone lately? You could fix it... you could fix everything! Just march right in and put your foot down. Make them stop squabbling. Fix those busted buildings. Rebuild the gates. Make Griffonstone something us griffons can be proud of again!"

Gerulf gave him a long, thoughtful look. To his credit, Gerold stood there panting after his big speech, and didn’t flinch away.

"To tell the whole story properly," said Gerulf at last, "I would have to begin far away and long ago. I could spend days telling you of Grover, the greatest mortal champion of our great games... how he claimed the Idol of Boreas and made a pact with us, that he would journey to a faraway land and found a new kingdom, undimmed by the shadow of our wings. Those were his words."

Gerulf smiled ruefully. "What is the modern phase? ‘Spoiler alert?’ You know how that turned out, in the end. Enough was enough, we decided not so long ago. The pact would be set aside, and we would finally take charge and make things right... but then, something amazing happened."

Gilda tilted her head to one side. "What?"

Gerulf pointed a huge claw directly at her, making her squawk and fluff her feathers. "You happened, young Gilda. You embraced the magic of friendship, and you began to teach it to other griffons." He grinned broadly. "For the first time in so very long, Griffonstone griffons are beginning to clean up their own mess. I daresay, you might even teach us Grand Griffons a thing or two, in time. You have so much more potential than you know."

"Potential, huh?" said Gilda slyly. "Is this where you make me big and all-powerful? You can sing a sappy song if you want. I won’t even mind!"

Gerulf blinked, then roared with laughter, slapping the ground with a thump that shook the very earth. "As if any self-respecting griffon would do that! True strength isn’t something that anygriffon can bestow upon you. It’s what you’ll find here." He thumped his chest with his fisted claws. "Within!"

Gilda glared at him, then exhaled slowly, the steam of air ruffling her crest. "Are you pulling my tailfeathers?! That’s, like, the lamest thing I ever heard!"

Gabby raised a claw. "You know, technically... we don’t have tailfeathers. And neither do pegasi! Isn’t that weird? I mean, who came up with that, and why do we keep saying it, and..."

Gilda reached over and pinched her beak shut. "Are you secretly Pinkie Pie’s sister or something? Don’t answer that."

"Sheesh, what a day." Gerold shook his head. "I don’t know about you guys, but I’d kinda like to finish raiding Lord Blackhoof’s tower before Gerulf there flies back to Mount Ponlympus or wherever."

Gabby beamed. "Sounds fun!"

Gilda looked up at Gerulf. "How about it, big guy? We were just getting to the good part, where your warrior mistook an unstable potion of giant growth for wine and drank the whole thing! You in?"

Gerulf tisked, fishing the Idol of Astra out of a magic pocket. "Spending so much time being tiny makes my hide itch... but I will endure it!" He licked his beak. "If I get dinner at Sugarcube Corner and more of those clawsants in the bargain. I was hoping you’d forgotten about the potion, though."

"Not a chance, pal," purred Gilda. "In fact, your noble warrior is starting to feel his stomach acting up again as we speak!"

Gerulf nodded sagely. "Oh my. I suppose he won’t be getting his deposit back on that armor, then!"

Session 63.15 Alex Warlorn

"While we wait for the crowds to die down, I have a new game from the Breezie kingdom we can try out." Twilight suggested.

"They have role playing games?" Rainbow asked surprised.

"Yes they do... it's apparently quite popular, and they finally were able to create a version for ahem, 'giant ponies'."

"Giants? Where?" Fluttershy looked around.

"You know darling," Rarity said. "To the Breezies, we're giants. So what do they call the GIANT-giant ponies then?"

"Nightmares from hell?" Pinkie Pie of all ponies suggested.

Twilight shuddered trying to imagine it from the Breezie's point of view.

"Well, in this game, you're job is guide a 'giant' pony through their adventure and keep them on the straight and narrow."

"Really?" Rarity asked. "Well, it sounds like a unique challenge, and we all pretty much are willing to play almost anything once."

"Sure, doesn't sound worse than keeping a leash on Apple Bloom."

"Or Pound and Pumpkin."

"Or Zephyr."

"Or Sweetie Belle."

"Or Scootaloo."

"Or Spike."

"HEY!"

"Sorry, well, let's roll up your characters, and the giants you'll be guiding through."

--

"UGH!" Rainbow Dash snorted. "I can't believe this idiot! He couldn't figure out how to open a door in the dungeon?!"

"Well, the deer do come from a open natured society, so doors aren't really a common invention." Fluttershy said.

"HEY! LISTEN!" Applejack shouted at her hero. "Come on ya idiot! Put the gem in the eye of the statue, don't sell it!"

"STOP. DIGGING. IN. THE. SAND! The scorpion monster was the only thing here! It was a dead end!" Rarity hissed. "You have a zero percent chance of finding anything!"

"Uh, excuse me, the princess said we should go visit her right away... could you PLEASE stop fishing?... Right now?" FLuttershy tried to reason with the young stage who seemed to be completely ignoring her.

"At least none of yours put you in a bottle and tried to drain away your life force forcing you to respawn at the fairy fountain," Pinkie Pie lamented.

"These 'heroes' are all idiots!" Rarity exasperated. "It's like they're determined to come up with ever more inane ways of wasting time or the most convoluted way to get themselves killed!"

Rainbow snorted. "Come on Twilight! There's no way anypony is this dumb!"

"I'm just playing the way the rules wrote them."

-

"And that's the story of how my great, great, great, thousandth grand mother, stopped Prince Aspen from eating a poison mushroom, for the fifth time that day, after pointing out to him the ones without the screaming purple skulls would be safer to eat!" Seabreeze explained.

Session 63.16 QuartzScale

Continuation of 52.9 and the History Changing Comic (before Shadow Lock's rampage through the comic.)

Scootaloo huffed after being turned into a breezie desperately trying to keep steady as random breezes battered her to and fro. This form let her fly but it was so small and unintimidating.

The area around her was full of mushrooms and flowers grander than she was making her uneasy at the size difference. It had taken her hours just to figure out what exactly she was going to do about the flowers around her... mocking here for not being like the other flowers when she heard someone call her out.

"Ah! One giant kinder come to see how the other half lives. Good to know giants aren't all rude." Seabreeze shouted out. Even tiny Seabreeze still towered over her.

"Yeah. Chose this off the bat. Breezies are cool..." Scootaloo trailed off. Seabreeze luckily didn't notice.

"Of course. We power the magic to make flowers bloom and the very essence of spring itself." Seabreeze proudly stated. Scootaloo merely rolled her eyes and went along with it.

"You are kinder Scootaloo, are you not. Can we trust that you will keep this to yourself?" Seabreeze scrutinized Scootaloo who huffed and sighed.

"Of course you can. I am one of the founders of the Cutie Mark Crusaders." She boasted almost as well as Rainbow Dash.
Somewhere else Rainbow Dash was being more smug that usual until Applejack managed to rope her up and drag her through a rain cloud.

"Good. Let us begin your initiation." Seabreeze announced as several breezies popped out from the mushrooms all dressed in white robes. Along their right forehooves they wore fancy gauntlets with ornate designs. A blade popped out of one of them before retracting as the breezies surrounded Scootaloo.

"For the past thousands of years Breezie kind has held a hoof in all politics making sure equinity followed the true path. For ages we managed the threats hidden in plain sight. The hidden blades of Equestrian Society. Today Scootaloo you join our prestigious order." Seabreeze motioned a hoof towards Scootaloo as several breezies brought out an ornate chest.

When it was opened Scootaloo was give her own hidden blade gauntlet. They taught her the ways of the hunt using pollen to create powerful poisons that induced paralytic shock that could last for years, potent sleep clouds that could take out dragons, and smokescreen that created paths of wind to zoom through without being subject to the breeze.

"This is so awesome! What else can I do?" Scootaloo cried out.

"Now we teach you what it means to be a hidden blade of Equestria." Seabreeze stated as a large pony creature was put before them.

"Subdue the giant!"

Scootaloo rushed in using a smokescreen to hide her approach shooting out a small cloud of pollen through the pony’s nose. The fake pony snuffed and tried to sneeze but it was too late. The paralytic took hold and instantly made the fake pony fall over.

"You are ready." Seabreeze bowed.

Later...

"Thank you so much for acting a bit Seabreeze I know it wasn't ideal but you made Scootaloo really happy." Fluttershy kindly spoke.

"Secrets should be more secretive. Augh... how am I to be making sure we stay hidden." Seabreeze complained.

"It’s okay. I made sure Starlight placed a little spell so she couldn't speak about it... with Twilight’s permission of course." Fluttershy shyly kicked at one of the mushrooms while in her breezy form.

Later still...

"Hey Scootaloo what's wrong with you?" Sweetie Belle looked surprised.

Scootaloo’s tongue swelled up and didn't allow her to speak.

"Stop being such a sourpuss Scoota-breeze." Snips waved off at Scootaloo who glared and tossed some paralytic powder at him. Her tongue finally lowered as she could finally speak again.

"Guess he was right. Nothing is true and everything is permitted." Scootaloo muttered under her breath as Sweetie Belle had to telekinetically carry him till it wore off.

Session 63.17 Kendell2

"Hmm..." said Twilight, writing out the specifics of her game. "Okay, I do believe I have mine..." she explained, then cleared her throat. "My game is called "Golden Age", it is a country management and civilization builder game where your job is to create a civilization from the ground up and build it up to be as prosperous as possible, all the while dealing with other countries either diplomatically or if need by with force."

A new cartridge appeared for her, being brown in color and having a classically designed video game label with a country with towering buildings, with a white furred, blue maned unicorn queen at the front above the title.

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "You know you have to FIGHT with that, right?"

The lavender Alicorn nodded. "Yes, I know."

"Ah got mine too," Applejack stated, putting down her paper. "Mine's called "Silver Star", you're a sheriff in the old west and have tah be quick tah shoot the bad guys..." she said, the orange cartridge-like device appearing in her hoof, the label VERY retro, like something from the 8-Bit era depicting a lawstallion with his trusty pistol.

"Kinda old school, huh?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"Ah LIKE old school...by the way, what exactly ARE these things called anyway?"

"Gashats I think," Dash replied.

"...And what does THAT mean?"

"Gasha is a Neighponese onomatopoeia," Twilight explained. "It basically is a stand in for a clicking sound, you know like when you put a cartridge in a console or something. From the sound of it it's mixed with cassette probably, given it'd make sense. Game cassettes or something like it..."

"...Kay..."

"Oh! Me next!" Pinkie Pie called. "My game is called "Sugar and Sweets"! It's a baking game where you bank all kinds of tasty treats for hungry customers in the most fun way possible!"

To no pony's surprise, the Gashat she got was pink and had a game label that was very much a cooking game with a happy baker as the center focus.

"...No pony should be at all surprised by that..." Rainbow Dash stated.

"Well my game is a bit more refined," said Rarity. "It is called "Glamorous Mysteries", a detective noir game where you play a beautiful globe trotting detective trying to solve crimes with your wit and charm. All the while looking positively fabulous in the countless gorgeous disguises!"

Her Gashat was white in color, the label depicting a 'game cover' of a mare dressed similarly to Shadow Spade standing in a streetlight in a classic detective pose.

"...Eh, detectives are cool," Rainbow replied with a shrug.

"Um..." Fluttershy said. "My game is called "Animal Friends"...you have to take care of animals, keeping them safe and healthy and making sure they don't get hurt. They're you're responsibility, but are very loyal to you if you're good to them..."

Fluttershy got a yellow Gashat with a label depicting an almost druid-like pony surrounded by animals in, once again, a very retro style.

"Ugh...are me, Applejack, and Rarity the only ones with games that actually involve FIGHTING?!" asked Rainbow in annoyance.

"If I recall, didn't you say one of the strongest characters in this series uses a PUZZLE game as his basis?" Twilight asked. "The genre doesn't matter, it's how you use it."

"Whatever..."

Suddenly, one of the stethoscope-like devices each of them had been given when they'd been brought into this part of the game sounded an alarm.

"Finally! Let's go kick some flank already!" Rainbow Dash stated.

Session 63.18 Kendell2

Time to finally end something from awhile ago...

The group gave a laugh as in game, Princess Rarity, pretending to be Applejack's game self while the real Rarity still possessed the Frazzit scrambled personality of Applejack, made an apple pie. Which they all accepted was awful (her score for baking was extremely low), but it was all in good fun.

Meanwhile Applejack's character was acting like a playful filly, while Rainbow Dash was floating around using balloons, Minty was acting like a Nightmare Night Witch while Abracadabra was decked out in green instead of orange or her normal witch attire. AAnd other craziness which

"Hehe...okay, that was honestly pretty fun..." Trixie with Twilight's personality replied.

"Yeah, I guess it was..." Fluttershy said, still stand offish like Gilda, who'd made a character more or line with her true personality to make this work. Even if by game terms her character was more like Gilda's nicer moments.

"I liked it..." Gilda replied. "...I...I admit, it's kind of nice to be...NICE...I don't feel like any of you are judging me for being nice..."

"...And it's kind of nice not being afraid to talk and say what's on my mind..." Fluttershy replied, a bit begrudgingly.

"It's kind of funny being so carefree!" Rainbow Dash replied, giving a laugh. "I feel like I ate an entire bag off Nightmare Night candy!"

"And in counterpoint, it is rather nice to being somepony who's not so scattered..." Pinkie Pie remarked.

"And I'm having a blast being brave!" Spike with Rainbow Dash's personality replied, using a broom to bat some of the Frazzits back into the barrel.

"And the Friendly and Royal Princess Twilight enjoys not being afraid of going all out and enjoying herself!" Twilight announced with Trixie's personality and levels of ham.

"And I enjoy actually thinking things through once in awhile," Trixie admitted. "And being so smart! Oh I have to write down some of these ideas before we get our personalities back to normal!"

"...Ah must admit, Ah can understand Rarity a lot better now...and finally understand some things about my aunt and uncle..." Applejack added. "...And it's kind of fun to be pretty once in awhile."

"And it's so liberating to not care about how I look and just being able to enjoy myself!" Rarity commented, Applejack's personality still shining through.

"And I feel so free!" announced Starlight, still occasionally laughing manically. "Chaos can be so much fun!"

Discord scooped another batch of Frazzits into the barrel. "...And...I have to admit...being like this makes me appreciate how lucky I am to have friends like you..." he admitted. "...Starlight likes to SAY it, but I really WAS totally evil. I was a monster...and yet you still are willing to be friend...Thank you..."

With that, he got the last batch of Frazzits into the barrel and put the lid back on. "Finally! Now all that we need to do is turn this barrel over and we can go back to being ourselves!"

The group was silent for a moment.

"...Could we maybe...wait until game night is over?" Rainbow Dash asked. Surprisingly, everyone seemed willing to at least give it a try...

"I suppose..." Discord remarked, sitting down. After snapping his fingers and putting a cage around the barrel too small for the lid to come off. "This could be fun..."

OOC: Anyone that wants to continue this, feel free. This can either be the ending or others can do something with it.

Session 63.19 Alex Warlorn

AJ the teenage girl held her geo in her in her hands. "From what Princess Twilight said, super strength is actually kinda natural for ... what did she call'em? 'Earth Ponies?' ... But touch telepathy, super speed, making sugar explode, talki' to animals and whatcha ain't. Ah wonder if there's more this here thing does for me."

AJ glanced at a super screen in the tech lab, once again being used for non-school activities.

On screen was an overweight man with red sunglasses sitting in a room full of neatly organized.

"Hi! I'm Film Critique! I will ruthless mock your favorite early 3-D video games for flaws you never noticed nor cared about, make you feel ashamed and alienated for ever loving them, and you will be shamed into falling more in line with the desires of the many..."

"He's so witty," said Sweetie Belle her eyes glued on the screen.

"And so funny," said Apple Bloom.

"And so awesome," finished Scootaloo in a wistful drone.

"It's like he knows exactly what Trixie is thinking."

-

There was a knock on Film Critique's door. "Miss? Is that you?" He opened it to find an angry Applejack pounding her fists together.

-

"For the last time you bumpkin, this wasn't one of our schemes," Adagio snorted. "We want humans at each other's throats so we don't starve to death! We don't want them all agreeing with everything!"

"Except everyone to love you."

"And how would that angry video game nerd have to do with that?" Aria asked.

"... Uh, test run?"

Adagio rolled her eyes. "Please, if you're that sure, then bring bacon hair to invade my mind."

"... If you were really behind it, you wouldn't suggest that... Okay, someone else is trying to make everyone else agree with everyone else."

"Or maybe humans are just that shallow." Aria said with a tone of a centuries old creature.

AJ snorted and stomped off.

"Wasn't that risky? Suggesting they sic their mind reader on us?"

"Pst. If there is somepony trying to get trying to get humans to all have same opinions it means the Rain busts are out of our hair for a while, while we continue with our real plan."

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 63.0 Mtangalion
Session 63.1 Kendell2
Session 63.2 Mtangalion
Session 63.3 Alex Warlorn
Session 63.4 Kendell2
Session 63.5 whitebearboy
Session 63.6 Ardashir
Session 63.7 Alex Warlorn
Session 63.8 Alex Warlorn
Session 63.9 Grogar-the-Onser
Session 63.10 Kendell2
Session 63.11 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 63.12 Ardashir
Session 63.13 Kendell2
Session 63.14 Mtangalion
Session 63.15 Alex Warlorn
Session 63.16 QuartzScale Continuation of 52.9 and the History Changing Comic (before Shadow Lock's rampage through the comic.)
Session 63.17 Kendell2
Session 63.18 Kendell2
Session 63.19 Alex Warlorn

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Picture by AlchemySugar, used with permission.

Session 64

Session 64.0 Kendell2

The group arrived at the designated location in the game world (which even without motorcycles wasn't all that long given it was mainly just a scene transition).

In front of them was a giant orange amorphous monster that vaguely resembled a tank or like it.

"Alright, so now we use these things, right?" asked Applejack, producing a green and magenta device.

"Yep, follow my lead!" said Rainbow Dash, putting hers on her waist, causing it to produce belt straps that attached it to herself. She produced her Gashat and hit the button.

"BREAKNECK BOLT!" it announced followed by something sounding like an action movie theme song, a title screen appearing holographically behind her and the surround area seemed to digitize slightly and ammo crates scattered out of it.

"Alright..." said Twilight, the group following her lead.

"GOLDEN AGE!" Twilight's announced, followed by epic thematic music while scattering golden coins across the 'game field'.

"SILVER STAR!" Applejack's announced, followed by a western music jingle as it scattered targets.

"SUGAR AND SWEETS!" announced Pinkie's, followed by an upbeat and bouncy jingle, spreading sugar bags over the field.

"GLAMOROUS MYSTERIES!" announced Rarity's, following with some noir sounding music and scattering black question marks.

"ANIMAL FRIENDS!" finally announced Fluttershy's, followed by a 'natural' styled beat and sending out bags of animal food over the battlefield.

"Henshin!" called Rainbow Dash, inserting the Gashat into her belt. A 'character select' set of images spun around her and she round house kicked her own.

"Henshin!" the others called in following, Fluttershy mispronouncing it a couple times as did Applejack. Twilight, following Rainbow's lead, pressed a hoof to her character select eyecon, while Applejack did a 'hoof guns' motion to hers while taking her hat off with the other. Pinkie Pie bounced at hers, somehow jumping off it back to her normal standing position, while Rarity spun hers with a motion similar to flourishing a cape. Fluttershy simply timidly poked hers.

"LET'S GAME! METCHA GAME! MUTCHA GAME! WHAT'S YOUR NAME!? I'M A KAMANE RIDER!" all their belts announced as each was surounded by pixels of their respective color that initiated the transformation.

The end result was not what most of them had expected.

"Rainbow, what the Tartarus is this?!" Applejack asked, finding herself a primarily white and black super deformed version of herself. They were all identical except for their heads, which were still in the chibi style with big animane eyes. Applejack's had a silver mouth plate with a primarily orange colored head with a clear cowboy theme. She put her hat back on, which didn't fit very well on the large head.

"This is just Level One," Rainbow Dash defended, her head resembling the Wonderbolts inspired armor of her game character. "We need to beat THAT with these, THEN we get to go into the cool forms."

"I think we're cute!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, her head having a white mouth plat that seemed shaped to almost resemble a smile, while the rest of the helmet was pink with a white chef's hat molded in. Fluttershy's, oddly enough, resembled a wolf's, complete with molded in ears and tuffs of fur.

"It makes sense, these resemble the overworld sprites in a lot of video games..." Twilight pointed out, her own head resembling the white unicorn from her cover art with the blue mane molded in. "Honestly clever when you think about it."

"Then let's finish this quickly," remarked Rarity, her helmet being primarily dark red like that one would expect to see Shadow Spade wear, complete with a fitting fadora hat molded in. "And get to the more appealing forms, shall we?"

"Yeah, let's go! Oh, and roll call time!...Alright, Kamane Riders normally don't do that but we need to name ourselves somehow..." Rainbow Dash advised. "I'm going with Kamane Rider Bolt!" she announced, charging the monster and dodging an attack before kicking it in the face.

"Alright then, Masked Bug Rider Majesty sounds good to me," said Twilight, acknowledging the historical figure she'd based it off of, doing a small pose and then looking at one of the gold coins. She punched it, causing it to shatter and reveal a Power Up, namely one of a pony with a stretching limb. She took it and leapt up, using her now stretching front limbs like whips to attack the monster.

"Eh, think Ah'll go with the original way of sayin' it," said Applejack, adjusting her hat. "Kamane Rider Bullseye sounds right tah meh," she said, charging and giving the monster a kick in the chest.

"Masked Bug Rider Treat!...Aww, now my name is gonna make me hungry..." Pinkie Pie announced, literally bouncing off several things to land on top of the monster and beginning to bounce around it with stomps to do damage.

"Hmm...Kamane Rider Noir, that sounds good to me, darling," Rarity said, kicking one of the question marks hers had scattered revealing an invisibility power up which she grabbed and vanished.

"Um...well...um...how about Fauna?" Fluttershy asked, then jumped as Rainbow Dash was thrown past her and caught herself.

"Sounds good," replied the mare, jumping back into the fight and giving the beast and jumping kick to the 'face'.

Fluttershy mainly relied on keeping NPCs out of danger, which she found also got her experience.

Rarity came out of invisibility and assaulted the creature from behind. The five ponies all did a jumping attack of some sort, hitting it at once and causing it to explode, Fluttershy merely getting the last pony out of the way.

"Was that it?" Applejack questioned, cracking her neck.

"Nope, these guys have two stages," Rainbow explained.

Orange particles spread out and then came together to reveal the Bugster and a horde of minions. The monster himself resembled a monstrous version of the sterotypical Hooviet general, antlers crackling with lightning.

"Army! Attention!" called the Bugster, his mooks, who in this case where all dressed as soldiers in fitting attire, taking an attention pose. "Charge!"

"Boss from my game," Rainbow Dash explained, putting a hoof to the door like portion of her belt. "Named 'General Thunderhooves', he's the baddie you take on."

"Subtle..." replied Rarity.

"Eh, it's not a subtle game," replied Rainbow Dash with a shrug. "Anyway, let's go to Level 2!" she said, opening the door to reveal a screen and that the door was hiding large, stylized text reading 'Gamare Driver' on one side.

"GACHAN! LEVEL UP!" announced the belt, Rainbow Dash suddenly getting a cutscene of running through an exploding military base before her armor exploded up (the helmet becoming a back plate) to reveal a more properly proportioned and colored suit resembling her game character, her chest plate having a health bar on its read out. "Tsukkomu! Akushonhiro! * Breakneck Bolt!" it announced like something out of an action movie trailer with music to match.

Rainbow Dash reached a hoof out, a small screen looking like an inventory management selection spinning around her before she grabbed it, revealing a gun resembling a machine gun with an A and B button on the side. "Alright, let's have some fun now!"

"About time!" Applejack announced, opening her own.

"GACHAN! LEVEL UP!" Applejack was suddenly in a cutscene surrounded by 8-bit desperadoes who's bullets she dodged until her armor exploded off like Rainbow Dash's to reveal her proper armor, primarily orange and brown in color with a distinct western sheriff motif. "Shōgodesu! Buruzuai! * Silver Star!" it announced with a distinct western draw and accompanying music as she put her hat back on over her helmet.

Applejack repeated Rainbow Dash's gesture, producing a revolver with a slightly more bulky top section and, likewise, having an A and B button on the side. "Yee haw! This is more like it!"

"Interesting, level 2 it is..." continued Twilight, opening her belt.

"GACHAN! LEVEL UP!" Twilight was in a cutscene, buildings arising around her at her command before the armor burst off to reveal a very regal white, blue, and gold suit modeled after the royal unicorn on the cover art. "Anata no sekai o tsukuru! Anata no ōkoku o shihai shi nasai! Golden Age! *" it announced with a distinctly epic and grandous tone and music.

Twilight produced her weapon, a scepter with an A and B button. "Hmm...so the Level 1 forms are bulkier but used for fighting larger opponents while these are more streamlined and for one on one combat."

"Oh! My turn!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, repeating the action.

"GACHAN! LEVEL UP!" Pinkie Pie's cutscene was of her cooking excitedly in a kitchen with all sorts of sweets. The armor blew off to reveal her in armor based on pink and white chef attire, though of course more streamlined. "Yume o niru! Amakute oishī! Sugar and Sweets!" it announced like the opening to a children's cartoon, music and all.

Pinkie Pie giggled, taking her weapon...a frying pan with the A and B buttons on the handle. "This looks like so much fun!"

"Finally, time to switch into something more comfortable, darings..." Rarity muttered, repeating her friends motion.

"GACHAN! LEVEL UP!" Rarity's cutscene involved her walking along a darkly lit alley way, then ducking behind a lamppost as the armor exploded off, taking a fitting pose next to it as she emerged in her streamlined form that resembled her game character complete with a trenchcoat as part of the suit, though they all kept the animane eyes, even hers, and the fadora was even molded in. "Megumi to utsukushi-sa de nazowotoku!" her Driver announced, in a tone and background music of a very detective noir styling.

"Now this is more like it," said the fashionista, producing her weapon, what appeared to be a cane with the buttons on the handle.

"O-Okay...m-my turn..." Fluttershy muttered, doing the gesture.

"GACHAN! LEVEL UP!" Fluttershy's cutcene had her dashing through the forest, the armor bursting off...to reveal a robotic looking cream and pink colored wolf with the normal chest plate on her back rather than her chest, ending with a howl. "Shizen o dakishimete! Chikyū o aisuru! Animal Friends!" was the announcement, with a more tribal, natural backing.

Fluttershy eeped. "What happened?! I'm a wolf!" she whimpered, no weapon spawning. Granted, she was a huge wolf, big enough someone could ride her.

"Looks like you're our Kamane Rider Lazer," Rainbow Dash replied. "You get something weird rather than something pony shaped. Now come on! Time for some action!"

* Rush on through! Action Hero!
* It's high noon! Bullseye!
* Build you world! Rule your kingdom!
* Cooking up dreams! Sweet and tasty!
* Solving mysteries with grace and beauty!
* Embrace nature! Love the Earth!

Session 64.1 Mtangalion

Mild spoilers for "Triple Threat":

Princess Celestia balanced a golden bit coin on her hoof, then flipped it and slapped it down on the royal chessboard. The chess set wasn't a fourteen-hundred year old relic personally gifted to them by the heirs of Princess Platinum. *That* chess set lay under an airtight crystal dome in the royal museum. *This* chess set was modern, crafted from sensible sturdy stained wood.

Celestia checked the coin. "Tails. Black moves first this game." She smoothly sorted all the pieces in her magic and dropped them into place.

Instead of sitting in the opposite chair, Princess Luna was peering out a window, her back to the board. "I like this new understanding that we've come to," she said, moving her first pawn with magic. "Let us put it in the official rule book."

"No objections here." Celestia chuckled mildly, moving a piece of her own. "Have you heard the latest from Ponyville? Not only is Twilight still a Princess with no regalia, staff, or guards of her own, but her informality seems to be spreading."

"Is that so?" mused Luna. The sisters kept moving their pieces, one after another.

Celestia took a sip of her tea. "Indeed. Yesterday, Ponyville hosted both Thorax, king of the reformed changelings, and Dragon Lord Ember. Each of them arrived without royal staves of office, without guards or attendants of any kind, and even without a single stitch of clothing. Remind me again, dear sister... why do we still bother with any of that?"

Luna grinned a notch more and adjusted her telescope, which was aimed down at the courtyard where the Night Guard stallions trained. "Oh, we have our reasons."

Session 64.2 Alex Warlorn, Ardashir, BrutalityInc, Grogar-the-onser

"Did you really have your character pour were-bear blood into an orc camp's water supply?" Twilight asked drolly at Rainbow Dash.

"What's the big deal? They're all neutral good now."

"'The urge is upon me again!' The were-bear Orc helps an old lady across the street. 'Why?!' He cries out."

"I still don't see what the bad part is."

Twilight, "Rainbow, we have nightshade berries from when we went foraging..."

RD, "Yeah?"

Twilight, "And we confiscated a large batch of hemlock from the assassin who tried to assassinate the countess..."

RD, "Okay...?"

Twilight, "We got Aconite, Belladonna and Mandrakes from when we defeated that evil witch. And even arsenic to protect our supplies from rats and other vermin..."

RD, "... So? What's your point?"

Twilight face-hoofed, "My point is, of all the choice of poisons we could had used to take out that camp of Orcs without fighting a battle, you decided to use Were-bear blood...?!"

"SURE! No way nopony is killed, and they become productive members of the kingdom instead or raiding and eating everypony. And using poison is evil and cowardly!"

Pinkie Pie: "Besides you can never cover up the taste right. Mr. and Mrs. Cake always tell me... Why are you staring? Oh by the way, have some cake. I baked it myself." Pinkie Pie looked at Fluttershy. "We uh, use sleepy powder to make the pests go to sleep and take them to a farm!"

"Oh!" Fluttershy brightened. "I bet it's the same farm mom and dad sent all my pets, and grandma to!... " Fluttershy never thought about grandma's reply letters had the same mouth writing as her mother.

Starlight said, playing a mind flayer, (saying she survived off the brains of animals, point out there was nothing technically in the monster manual that said she couldn't, and Spike surrendered), "This sounds morally questionable. Do we really have the right to alter the minds of other living beings simply for our amusement and advantage?"

A Mail Pony stuck his head through the window, "Hi, I have half a dozen letters here from the crown looking to collect on unpaid back taxes for somepony named Starlight Glimmer..." Starlight panicked and zapped him. He says in a monotone, "I never found her." He Left.

"What? Oh, yeah, sorry. Old habits die hard."

Spike said, "Okay, while you were doing that, somepony poured werewolf blood into the towns water supply. You now have over 100 ferocious ravenous werewolves chasing you. Roll for initiative."

Rainbow's eyes darted about, "Uh, I ask my new werebear friends to save me?"

"They say sorry, but since it was immoral and unethical of you to inflict unwanted and un-asked for changes on people, you have to save yourself this time. Oh yes, you just got bitten."

Dash groaned, "UGH! I don't start turning into some hairy, slobbering, foul-smelling beast, do I?"

Twilight Sparkle said "Don't worry Rainbow Dash, there's no way the incubation period for lycanthropy is that short, it's against the game's rules."

"Yer gonna be likely mauled before ya change anyway."

"I teleport in and teleport Rainbow Dash out, and we start gathering the wolf's bane to feed her, and the rest of the werewolf population of the town the orcs were attacking, and ask the werebears to keep the werewolves contained until we're finished."

"Don't we also need to find out poured that werewolf blood into the town too?" Fluttershy asked.

"Huh?... OH! RIGHT!" Spike's eyes shifted about. He'd been so eager to punish Rainbow Dash for her unorthodox method of dealing with the orcs that he hadn't thought about who might have actually done. At least he hadn't gone with his original plan of having werebears be violently insane in spite of being, ya know, Neutral Good Lycanthropes.

Fluttershy wondered how to explain that she was secretly playing a wereraven, another neutral good Lycanthrope and she'd been looking for volunteers who'd be willing to join her flock.

Session 64.3 Kendell2

"Thank you for lending a room in your castle to my old friend, Twilight!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, bouncing along after Twilight.

"No problem, Pinkie Pie. If I'll ask Princess Celestia to lend Rarity a room in the castle, then why wouldn't I do the same for one of your friends?" Twilight asked.

The pink party pony nodded. "I haven't seen her since I moved to Ponyville! I think you'll like her!"

"Why's that Pinkie Pie?" Twilight asked.

"You were her ancestor in a past life!" Pinkie Pie said in her normal way. "Oh! And you both have OCD!"

"...What?"

The two opened the door to find a sight that made Twilight question if Discord had opened a portal to Rainbows and Crystals' universe.

She and the mint green furred, two tone pink maned Earth Pony blinked at one another.

"Uh...hi..." Twilight said bewildered.

"Hi! I'm Minty! Glad to meet you!" the pony replied with a big smile.

"Minty!" Pinkie shouted.

"Pinkie!" the green pony shouted. The two rushed at one another and did a jumping hug...only for Minty to miss and go sliding down the hall.

Twilight and Pinkie cringed at the sound of a crash.

"...I'm okay!" Minty called.

"Minty Minty Minty..." Pinkie Pie muttered, shaking her head and rushing to help her friend up, at which point the two hugged. "Come on! I'll show you to your room!"

"...How...how is this possible?" Twilight asked.

"Don't know," Spike replied, walking up. "But game night is going to be awkward..."

"Why?"

"Because we're playing Rainbows and Crystals..."

Session 64.4 Mtangalion

Someone was hammering at the front door of Princess Twilight's crystal castle. Spike waddled downstairs, yawning. "Okay, okay. Keep your scales on." He opened the door and nearly yelped in surprise... "Garble?! What are you doing here?"

"Oh, it's YOU again." Garble sighed through clenched fangs. "So, like, Ember asked her pop what's the best way to make a dragon go far away and not come back, and he said make them an ambassador. I'm pretty sure that was supposed to be a joke, but next thing I know, I'm the freakin' official dragon ambassador to Equestria!" Garble smacked a fist into a palm. "I would totally punch her in the snout for that! If she wasn't Dragon Lord. And if her dad wasn't a hundred times bigger than me."

Spike gave him a half-lidded stare. "And... how is that my problem?" He pointed a claw at the mountains. "Canterlot's thataway, Mr. Ambassador."

Garble rolled his eyes. "Well, duh! Of course I flew there first, you little dork, but then a whole bunch of stupid flying ponies showed up with armor and dragon lances! When did ponies even get that many dragon lances!?" He stamped his feet, growling. "Then a stupid farmer chased me all over the place just because I set one measly apple tree on fire, and I barely escaped from a rabbit."

"Rabbit?" Spike blinked. "You mean, Angel Bunny?"

"Dude, that thing is no angel!" He grabbed Spike and hoisted him up level with his muzzle, shaking him a bit. "That rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! Ugh, anyway..." Garble dropped Spike and patted him on the head. "I'm beat, and your castle looks delicious, so I'm gonna chill here for a while. Got it, shorty?"

Spike dusted himself off, then casually slammed the door in Garble's face. "Hey, Twilight! There's more weird ponies with journals outside! Better turn the No More Autographs spell on again!"

Rainbow Dash steered a portable raincloud into the castle foyer. Applejack was right behind her, wearing bright yellow galoshes on all four hooves. "Okay, I think we've got all the fires put out," said Dash, wiping the sweat from her brow.

"I'm really sorry about this," said Princess Twilight.

"I'm not," grumbled Spike. "Ouch!" Twilight had bandaged the bump on his head a little more forcefully than necessary.

"Would you hold still?!" said Starlight Glimmer, still jittery from having her mane set on fire. She was focusing her magic, trying to dab some ointment on the slashes on Garble's muzzle, but her spell kept fizzling. "And try to relax. Why do dragons have to be so resistant to magic?"

"Oh, I don't know," huffed Garble. "Maybe so purple pansy ponies don't put us under a spell?" He glared at Fluttershy. "And what are you so happy about?!"

Fluttershy smiled and turned the pages of her new Dragon Egg Z fan comic, curiously unafraid of him. "Because when rivals fight, that's when they can become the best of friends. Isn't it wonderful?"

"Me, friends with Garble?" sputtered Spike. "He's a bullying, egg-smashing jerk who wanted dragons to take over Equestria! I'd sooner kiss a lizard!"

"Shut up!" snapped Garble. "I would have been Dragon Lord, if you hadn't messed everything up. I'd rather kiss two lizards than be friends with you!"

"Oh yeah, well I'd rather kiss ten lizards!"

"I'd rather kiss fifty lizards!"

"I'd rather kiss a hundred!"

Applejack chuckled, nudging Rainbow. "Remind ya of anypony?" Rainbow just giggled into her hoof.

Garble shook a fist at Spike. "I'd sooner kiss a *pony* than be his friend. Heck, I'd sooner kiss Spikey-Wikey's girlfriend and be a pony-lover like him!"

Spike pushed Twilight away and jumped out of his chair. "Dude, you did not just go there! That settles it! I wouldn't be your friend if we were the last dragons on..."

"Did somebody want to kiss a lizard?" asked Pinkie Pie, inexplicably joining them with Gummy sitting on her back. "Maybe later, after the Gilligan Cut!"

"What's a Gilligan Cut?" asked Spike, thinking out loud. He and Gargle were chillaxing on the castle roof, soaking up the midday sun. It was no lava bath, but dragons had to make due.

Gargle raised an eyebrow. "Dude, you're just wondering that now? That was, like, a week ago." The red drake chugged from his mug of cider, then belched a long stream of orange fire, holding it for several seconds. "Hah, top that one!"

Spike chuckled and took a sip. "Hold my cider." He burped out a green fireball that was definitely less impressive, until it started spinning and teleporting, creating a pinwheel of green fireworks.

Garble picked his jaw up off the floor. "Okay, I'll bite. How?"

Spike buffed his chest scales with a claw. "I'm actually not sure. It's probably because of all the magical *pony* princesses I have on magic flame speed dial!" He reached down and picked up a clipboard. "Now, about your character for tonight's O&O game..."

"Dragon," said Garble without hesitation.

"Dude, you played a dragon last time. I was thinking..."

"Dragon."

"You know, this game has over twenty playable races..."

"I SAID I'm playing a dragon, Spike!"

"What if we made your character a were-dragon? You know, like Cindy Blastoff, the hero of Bridgeport!"

Garble hesitated. "Is he cool?"

Spike grinned and made a notation on the clipboard. "Heck yeah, he's cool."

Session 64.5 Redsopine (with edits) (Continued from 42.0 brutality)

As Minuette, Lemon Heart, Twinkleshine, Lyra and Bon Bon ran into the stallion's house, he slammed the door shut and bolted it as the smell of incense dominated the dimly lit room. The stallion sighs and face hoofs and mutters, "Why do I always get involved with outsiders? Alright listen and listen closely as you probably saw the ponies of this town are not so nice."

As if to emphasize what he said a halberd blade went through the door and almost hit him. The stallion gave a sigh and walked to the only table in the room. He grabbed what looked like a watering can and leaned out the window. "Hey get off my lawn!" The group then jumped as he fired the flamethrower at the mob causing them to scatter.

While this was happening, Lyra turned to Bon Bon. "Why are you covered in blood? Are you hurt?" she asks concern on her voice and etched in her face.

Bonbon sighed and pulled Lyra towards a corner and whispered, "I'm fine, but I don't know how to tell you this...I killed that stallion from before. Now before you freak out, I looked into his eyes and saw nothing. No soul, no fear, not even anger. Just emptiness there was nothing to show he's alive."

"You're absolutely correct outsider everypony that has the virus is not alive anymore, but here blood means power and it can also heal." The others look at stallions confused. "Surly you're hunters. Only a hunter would enter this town and only a hunter could survive Yhanam blood."

"Wait is that why we awoke in the clinic surrounded by blood transfusion equipment?" asks a confused Lemon Heart.

"Yes...that means you don't know what's going on do you?" At the blank looks he got the stallion grew scared. "Get out now just go take this and go." He thrusted the flame thrower to the mares before he grabbed Bon Bon and throws her out the window to the shock of the others. "Now go, before they come back, and look for the lanterns. Light them and concentrate they will take you to safety now go." He then opened the door and ran past Bon Bon as the others look confused till they all say what they feel.

"WHAT THE BUCK JUST HAPPENED?!"

Session 64.6 Kendell2

Rainbow Dash walked into the Enchanted Comics store, Button Mash walking with her.

"What can I do you for today, Miss?" asked the mare at the counter.

Rainbow Dash grumbled. "A story where the good guys punch the bad guys in the face, hold the politics, grimdark crud, and stupid plot twists."

The mare chuckled. "You have no idea the killing I'm making on those..." she said, then looked to the small colt. "...Button? Where's your mom?"

"She said she wanted to go give whoever decided to make Captain Equestria a Hooviet a 'piece of her mind...'" Button commented. "...She took her katana..."

"...I imagine Marevel's doing that too," the mare replied, looking over at a stack of comics marked 'Secret Crystal Empire' that was currently selfwarming in a rather sizable copy. Oh well, those were freebees, so no skin off her muzzle.*

"For once I'm on the same page as her," Rainbow Dash snarked. "Seriously, I've never been waiting for a retcon so bad before..."

"Can I have a copy of the What If story where Batmare is a pirate?" Button Mash asked. "I have a friend who loves pirates and Princess Luna, it sounds like it'd be fun to play with him."

"A good choice," the mare replied, leaving and returning with the comics.

"Oh yeah, something from Batmare the Brave and the Bold!" Rainbow Dash smirked. "THAT'S more like it!"

"Can I play?" asked Button.

"Sure! This is the one where he teams up with a talking chimp detective!"

"...That sounds weird..."

"I know! Isn't it great?!"

* This is not a take that: that's ACTUALLY happening in Comic Book stores. It really is shelfwarming THAT bad and Marvel really is giving away free copies.

Session 64.7 Alex Warlorn

After Lyra Heartstrings the unicorn mage's adventure party had finished reading the journal, they turned around and saw the Mecha Gnome in the door.

"You were looking for me, child? Why do you come to kill me? I only wish to help. But, I can see it in your eyes, hear it in your pulse rate. You would destroy me despite my offer of immortality! Very well. It saddens me that it has come to this. I look upon all of you as if you were my children. I will slay you if I must!"

"Actually," Lyra said. "We're here to help."

"YOU ARE?!" The robot gnome shouted in confused and shock.

"We are?!" Bon Bon The Ranger/Rogue Half-Elf exclaimed.

Vinyl The dhampir Bard stared in shock.

Octavia The Orc Monk was looked at her friends.

"Sure," Lyra nodded. "Robots are cool. And transhumanism is a really misunderstood concept. We'd love to help you spread your message of curing the world of the curse of flesh and liberating the people of some arbitrary built in death date."

"Uh! You're lying! You are obviously trying to trick me!"

Her teammates smiled and nodded.

"Of course not! I'm a unicorn! When was the last time you met a unicorn who lied? Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye."

"But... didn't you come all this way to fight me?"

"Oh that was just so I could find you and join you. I mean, come on, this is obviously a pretty big step for the world. Just rejecting it blindly without even giving us a choice would be pretty rude, riiiiiight?"

-

"UGH!" The Doctor held his head in his hands. "You do realize that the entire quest hingers on you killing him and bringing back his head right?"

"So?" Lyra the CHS student. "Isn't the entire point of a table top game that we're supposed to decide how the story ends?"

(WoW quest reference.)

Session 64.8 Ardashir

"Yeesh, my mom was right." Garble grumbled. He snorted out a small puff of fire in disgust as he pointed at the game table. "You ponies are hypocrites."

"WHAT?!" Rarity, Applejack, and Dash all yelled as they surged to their hooves. Rarity snapped, "Now listen here, you bullying scaly --"

"Rarity!" Twilight gave her friend a stern look. "Garble's a guest. AND an ambassador! We owe him some manners," she waited for Rarity to sit back down before turning to the smug dragon. "Even if he doesn't feel the same. What do you mean, 'hypocrites'?"

Garble folded his arms. He sat at the game table with the rest of the Mane Six, with Spike in his accustomed place as the Oubliette Overseer. The little purple dragon gave Garble a suspicious look as the older dragon began to speak.

"First of all, you say it's wrong for dragons to fight and steal treasure for our hoards, and then you invite me to play a game that's, like, all about stuff like that," Garble waved one claw at the table, laden down with books, figures, maps, and snacks. "Then when we catch the guy who hurt everyone, instead of letting me yank his head off you say you 'forgive him' and let him go."

"How the hay is that 'hypocritical, fire breath?" Rainbow Dash put her hooves on her hips.

"Girls, please," Fluttershy flattened her ears and nervously scraped one hoof on the floor as everyone looked at her. "Maybe we could, um, let him finish? But Garble, ponies are kind of forgiving..."

"Hah!" Garble snapped his claws. "Tell that to the dragons your puny pony princesses killed a thousand years ago."

"You know what happened a thousand years ago?" Twilight blinked in surprise.

"Dragons live, like, for thousands of years. Duh." Twilight's cheeks reddened as Garble said, "I spoke to dragons old enough to remember them. But that's not what I mean, pony. That guy you 'forgave'? He didn't do you anything. He hurt those stupid wimp villagers. Not that I care what happens to them," he reached out and pushed one cringing miniature over. "Anyone that lets themselves get pushed around deserves it."

"Your point, Broad Withers?" Rarity invoked the name of the ancient philosopher, rarely heard sarcasm edging her voice.

"My POINT," Garble snapped back, "is that none of YOU have any business or right to 'forgive' this jerk. I don't either. He didn't hurt US." He waved one arm out, taking in dragons and ponies alike before pointing at the 'villagers'. "He hurt THEM. If they want revenge on him, they should have it. And no 'Oh, but revenge is all mean and bad and stuff'." Garble's voice became squeaky before going back to normal. "You can't forgive something that wasn't done to you. Even I know that. He hurt them. If they wanna punish him, they should."

The ponies blinked in surprise.

"Okay," Applejack whispered to Twilight. "Since when did Mister 'Ah count on mah claws' get so smart?"

Session 64.9 Ardashir

"Hey, if you ponies want to play a REAL game?" Garble smirked and pulled something out from under the table. Something horribly familiar. He ignored the looks of rising fury on the pony faces around him as he said, "Me and my buddies came up with this great idea! See, Discord conquers Equestria, and all of you, uhh, I mean," he swallowed, "puny ponies that look like you get turned into his Chaos Demon minions... HEY!"

He snatched after the game to no avail as Twilight yanked it from his claws with her magic.

"This again?!?" She snorted, her eyes blazing. "I thought the last copies in Equestria got sent to Tartarus to entertain the inmates!"

"And it's too awful even for them!" Pinkie Pie chimed in. "The last time I was there, they were making a game out of seeing who could toss it furthest into the lava pits."

"Hey! Chaos Equestria 40K is a brilliant idea!" Garble jumped up on the table and grabbed after the gamebook. Twilight kept it out of his scaly claws. "I bet it sold great outside of Puny Pony Land."

"What the hay makes ya say that?" Dash looked at Garble in disbelief.

"Hey, not everyone loves you ponies," Garble put his claws on his hips. "If someone was gonna invade Equestria, I bet they'd love it."

Many miles southwards, but not as many as a short time ago:

"Your majesty, we finally broke through their defenses," a short and pudgy creature said to a crowned apelike figure. "It took longer than we thought. They had the walls covered with, ugh, copies of this." He held out a copy of Garble's book gingerly in one claw. "The troops didn't want to get too close."

"Ugh indeed," the ape-thing said as he flung it into a nearby fire. "I don't usually do this, but lets level this place before we leave. Not for fighting so hard, but for forcing the troops to confront this. Even warfare has its civilized limits." He looked off into the distance and smacked one massive fist into the palm of his other hand. "If I ever find the cretin who made that, I'll blast him for ruining the image of villains everywhere."

"You better be careful, bragging about that book," Spike warned Garble. He pointed to an alicorn figure on the table painted Prussian blue. "Luna really hates it and hates hearing about it."

"Like I'm afraid of the puny pony princess." Garble sneered. "What's she gonna do, give me bad dreams?"

Session 64.10 Alex Warlorn

As if on cue, a bolt of moonlight shot through the window and hit Garble in the back. In a flash of magic and what sounded like a lightning bolt cracking, everything suddenly seemed larger.

"I warned you..." replied Spike, snickering.

"What?!" Garble asked. "Why is everything so big?!"

Twilight showed him a mirror, revealing a crimson colored blank flank colt sitting in the chair.

"AH! I'm a puny pony?!" Garble screamed in horror.

Spike fell off his chair laughing hysterically.

"This isn't funny! I'm an ambassador!" the ponified dragon yelled.

Suddenly a flash of magic appeared, revealing a contract with a glowing magic circle around a specific part.

Twilight adjusted her glasses. "According to the agreement Ember made when making you ambassador, the Princesses are permitted to 'teach you some respect' if you continue to 'run your mouth like a lava flow'...So yeah, your diplomatic immunity doesn't protect you from being punished for disrespecting the royal crown in your case."

Twilight left out the fact that the contract actually said 'If Garble runs his mouth like a lava flow, PLEASE do not hesitate to pop his ego like a balloon and teach him some respect! He's a walking embodiment of dragon sterotypes!'

Garble grumbled and crossed his claws...hooves. "How long am I going to be like this?!"

A letter popped into existence next to the Princess of Friendship. "Luna says 'When he apologizes genuinely or Ember presses the 'turn him back' amulet I gave her.'"

"WHAT?!" Garble asked, eyes wide.

Twilight wisely chose to not point out Luna didn't turn everypony who insulted her into things and it was mainly because Ember told her to punish him.

Session 64.11 Alex Warlorn

"Sister we swear!" Luna shouted. "We have no idea how these rumors got started about us turning any foal who teases or won't go on a playdate with Pipsqueak into mice! Tis simply not true!"

"Yes little sisters, I believe you completely." Celestia smiled and nodded. Then whispered to Flash Sentry. "Search her room for cheese."

"Sister! I'm standing right here!"

"Trust be verify Lulu, trust but verify."

-

Sadly, being turned into a pony had done nothing to deter Garble's passion for his own work. "This is where Discord's demon minions disguise themselves as their former selves, infiltrate their home town, and... well you can guess what they do next. Thus they traumatize their still pony apprentices which sets them on the path to become Ponykind's ruthless and brutal defenders."

"... Why are the changelings in here still there parasitic versions if they've been forced to alley with ponies?" Spike asked feeling sick just reading the damn thing.

"Because rainbow sherbet changelings are stupid looking. Seriously, they all looked better in black," Garble said without a hint of apology in his voice.

Session 64.12 SomeRandomMinion

(Based on an actual D&D session I had, just last week!)

The party's attack on the Fire Cult had hit a wall. What should have been a quick hit-and-run had turned into a room-by-room slugfest through the sinister cult's volcanic lair, with small bands of cultists harassing the heroes all the way through. Rainbow's ranger had nearly run out of arrows, forcing her to get into sword range (which, with the fragile "glass cannon" build she went for, was dangerous), and Rarity's mage was horribly close to burning through her high-level healing spells after a few close calls. Things were getting desperate.
Until...

"I cast Animate Object on the shovel and rocks!" Pinkie announced.

Spike blinked. "What?"

"The shovel and rocks lying around the chamber," Pinkie repeated. My warlock tries to animate them and make them attack the cultists!"

Dice clattered, and Pinkie's spell succeeded. "Good move, Pinkie!" Twilight commented. "That should make a great distraction!"

"Not for long," Spike said around a grin. "What good could a shovel be in a life-or-death fight?"

The fight went on...

====Sometime later====

Spike chuckled. "The shovel, heh; 'attacks' one of the cultists, swinging its edge like a battle-ax...huh; not a bad hit. She's bloodied, but still standing. Two of the others get hit by rocks, but they deflect off."

"No offense, but; that's it?" Rainbow asked. "Was expecting a bit more."

"Every little bit helps, darling." Rarity chided.

====Later Still====

"A rock hits the cultist in the back, screwing up the fireball he was preparing," Spike narrated. He seemed surprised that such a thing could happen. "Rainbow, you're in crossbow range, so you get an opportunity attack."

"Sweet! I'll use my Hunter's Mark to peg him for bonus damage!"

A critical hit eliminated the fire-flinging enemy; a few more being left stunned and bloodied by lucky hits by the rocks and shovel.

====Later (Again)===

Spike stared at the dice. "Kill shot."

"Pardon, sugarcube?" Applejack asked.

"The. Shovel. Got. A kill shot on one of the cultists. Hit a chink in his armor and took him out instantly. His friends all panic and run, only to be pelted by the rocks as they flee, staggering them and giving all of you some cheap shots."

The girls cheered. "HA! Who knew a shovel and some pebbles could do so much damage?" Rainbow whooped. "Let's finish the job, and get onto dealing with that evil fire elemental!"

"Shoot, she should've taken that shovel as a weapon!" Applejack laughed.

Pinkie's spell had worn off by then, but it didn't matter. The last few cultists were dealt with easily, giving the girls time to heal up and loot their foes before charging after the boss.

Poor Spike could only look at the itracate formations, traps and tactics he'd drawn up for the now-dead cultists.
"All that planning...and they lost to a shovel and some rocks...."

Session 64.13 Alex Warlorn

"AHHH! Burst of Healing! Burst of Healing!" Snips the Barbarian cried. "Why aren't I bursting with healing?!"

"Why aren't these goblins going down in one hit like good Minions?!" Snails The Wizard cried out.

"Why are we starving?! Wouldn't our character of automatically done a ritual of substance before leaving?!"

"A what now?" Shining Armor said simply.

"Shining... what are you doing?" Twilight asked carefully.

The older unicorn smirked behind the Overseer Screen. "Oh, just giving them a taste of what true blue original Ogres and Oubliettes is like."

Session 64.14 Ardashir (with edits)

In a bit of a cultural exchange, Pharynx had played a game of O&O with the mane six. It had gone relatively well up until Pharynx's character had sent all their hirelings and henchponies into a fatal trap so the player characters can escape.

Twilight exasperated. "Pharynx! Why did you do that?!?"

Pharynx tilted his head. "What? They died for the swarm. It's the noblest death of all. They were glad to do it; I would have been as proud for the honor back when our Hive Queen -- er, I mean, in the bad old days when Chrysalis tyrannized us. Isn't that why the Princesses keep a Royal Guard? Don't you ponies know anything?"

Twilight mentally noted that they needed to send some more translated books on morality to the Changelings. Very soon.

Session 64.15 Mtangalion

"Stupid feathers!" Garble shouted as loud as he could, which wasn't very loud, considering that he was still a young pegasus colt. "Stupid lame pony wings! Work already!" He flapped harder, managing to lift his little hooves on the ground. "Yes!" Then he started wobbling back and forth. "No, no no..." The red pegasus careened into a kitchen shelf, knocking pots and pans everywhere.

Spike lounged in the doorway, grinning smugly. "So, now that you're a puny pony, are you going to bow before my superior dragon-ness?"

Garble dashed over, shaking a hoof in Spike's face. "As if, pipsqueak! I'm still better than you. I could be a parasprite and still be better than you!"

Spike cupped a claw to his ear fin. "What's that? You're saying that what's important isn't your species, but who you are inside? Where's my parchment and quill, I've gotta write this down!"

Garble rolled his eyes. "Oh sure, laugh it up, Spike. Kick me when I'm down." He smirked. "That's what a dragon would do, after all."

"Hey, I'm trying to be nice, here!" Spike protested. "You're my... okay, I wouldn't exactly say we're friends just yet, but at least we can hang out without trying to kill each other. Garble, if we can show that you've learned a valuable lesson and write an official friendship letter, maybe Twilight will agree to change you back before..."

A faint rumbling began to echo in the crystal castle halls, like a miniature stampede. Spike gasped. "Oh no. We're too late!" He dashed to the door, reaching for the lock, but it slammed open, catching him against the wall.

Three fillies stood shoulder to shoulder in the doorway. "Hi, Ah'm Apple Bloom!"

"I'm Sweetie Belle! Nice to meet you!"

"I'm Scootaloo!" She grinned at Garble, who was cowering back from them. "And a little bird told us that there's a brand new pony in town who doesn't have his cutie mark yet!"

"Technically, a little catbird," Sweetie admitted.

Gabby squeezed into the doorframe above them, doing a quick midair flip. "Yes! I can't believe I'm really coming along on a real cutie mark journey of discovery with the one and only Cutie Mark Crusaders!" She landed and saluted. "Thank you so much, girls! You won't be disappointed!"

"We heard you like O&O," said Apple Bloom, "and it just so happens we're having a special on gaming cutie marks this week, so let's get right to it!"

Garble cringed. "A dragon... with a cutie mark? I'd be a laughingstock. Spike, you gotta help me!"

"Now, now," said Scootaloo. "Cutie marks in make-believe are next week. Come on!" They grabbed him and bundled him out into the hallway.

With the Crusaders no longer blocking it, the door swung open, and a dazed Spike flopped to the floor. "Sorry, dude, looks like you're on your own."

Session 64.16 Alex Warlorn

= 'Dark Servant' - Blackguards =

Button Mash sat in his room, playing Dark Spirits. His character clunked along at a snails pace till he came to an unremarkable field of ashes everything.

A million to one drop from a random monster in an unrelated arena remarked that someone with a name staring with T or maybe G had may or may not have burned down a forest at some incredibly long time ago that might have actually been very recently.

Button Mash shrugged. "Okay." And continued playing.

Then his console grew arms and legs and stood up angrily. "WHAT IS THIS!? You're supposed to be SAD that the forest was burned down! That you'll never get to experience its splendor! That it's gone forever! That there were good times (that actually had a buncha horrible stuff happening to them, but only after you feel sad for the good times being gone so you can feel sadder, and then feel even more sad finding out all the bad things that happened to make the so-called good times happen), and those good times are never coming back!"

BUtton Mash looked up and said innocently. "Well, it's not I'm not really connecting with the place, like at all. I mean, I don't know anything about that forest except it got burned down. I don't what it was really like, I didn't get to experience, I didn't see pictures of it, or have people talk about their happy experiences with it. It just doesn't do anything for me."

"WHAT?! But you were all sad and miserable when you found that destroyed random ranch where nothing plot related or side quest related even happens in Legend of Cadence!"

"Yeah, but because it was obviously a destroyed version of the ranch from the first 3-D game. I GOT to see it in its prime. I got to TALK to the people who used to live there. I could APPRECIATE that there was something great there that was gone because I actually got to experience the good times, and UNDERSTOOD the ACTUAL good in the good times, rather than just having it be a fancy veneer for a dictatorship or something."

"HOW DARE YOU?! Everypony knows Dark Spirits is the GROWN UP version of Legend of Cadence! "

"... I'd say you're more like 'Edgy Teenager' Legend of Cadence than grown up Legend of Cadence. Should of like that phase my big brother 16-Bit went through."

"RAWR!" Flames spewed out of the game console as it took out a flaming sword.

= Legend Zelda - Main Theme Song =

Then Button Mash's Pretendo-Flip grew arms and legs, and took up the Master Sword and the Equestrian Shield, and leapt to Button Mash's defense. The Chosen Charcoal was no match for The Hero of Equestria, and the hero leapt up and stabbed the opposing console in the head. At which point it turned to stone.

-

"And that sister was Button Mash's dream last night."

"Sister don't you have a vow about not sharing such details about ponies' private dreams? Even if one seemed like a demented commercial than something from a foal's imagination, then again given who we are speaking of..."

"He said he realized it was a dream when he was playing a game his mother would never let him near in a million years. He was also upset that he didn't own a Pretendo Flip yet in real life yet."

-

There was a knock on the door, followed the squeak of it opening.

"Can I be your friend Diamond Tiara?" Button Mash asked smiling.

"Is this because I got a Pretendo-Flip and you don't?"

"Yes."

"... Come on in."

Session 64.17 Alex Warlorn

"So what's the game this time Twilight?" Spike asked, Twilight having taken over as Oubliette Overseer for this game.

"Oh, it's a game based on Wild Hooves!"

While the others were interested, Rainbow Dash groaned. "Twilight, are you sure about this? I mean, I've seen the foals play that game some times... the 'explanations' -" Rainbow waved her hooves in the air. "- they came up with for their super natural stuff so it can be science fiction stuff give me a headache."

"Oh!" Pinkie Pie smiled. "You mean like that time Twilight was SURE that my Pinkie Sense was really Human Pinkie Pie transmitting stuff to me that happened to her just ahead of time."

"It wasn't that bad... was it?" Twilight asked.

"Princess!" Sci-Twi defended. "For the last time, I've given my Pinkie Pie electric shocks like you asked me to politely ask her permission for, and your Pinkie Pie in her universe doesn't pick up a thing! All evidence points to this theory being wrong!"

"CHECK IT AGAIN!" Princess Twilight shouted.

"Come now dear!" Rarity said, "I think we should give it a try, I mean, how many times have we tried something new and different, and then regretted it? RHETORICAL!"

"Besides, whenever that happens to you girls on a weekly basis, the 'new and different' things always turns out to be great," Spike said.

Bit Later

"So you see, the zombies, are of course, no really zombies, since there's no such thing as zombies, they're really alien robots from another dimension who have gone back in time, who burrow in the heads of corpses, and built a nanite colony resembling brains, and are driven to learn more about the local planet by consuming the brains of the sapient life forms! So it makes perfect sense!... Girls... where are you going?"

Session 64.18 Alex Warlorn

Gabby, the CMC, sat in the three house with Garble. Garble was still the 'ambassador' from the Dragon Lands to Equestria (which kinda secretly annoyed Spike since he DID have a comfy job as 'Head of Dragon Relations' at Ponyville city hall that paid really good with minimal work before Garble showing up rendering the job suddenly mote).

"So! You wanna play a game? They're kinda all the rage in Equestria these days!" Sweetie Belle offered.

"Actually, I wrote my own RPG with my friends... I think you'll find it interesting."

-

"So you girls WANT ME to use mind control magic to make you forgot a game you played with Garble?" Starlight Glimmer asked.

The wide eyed and freaked out foals and griffin nodded together silently. They were trembling in their hooves/claws.

Starlight did a quick look around making sure Twilight wasn't nearby. "Okay, but don't tell anypony!"

"Hey! I got my cutie mark!" Garble cheered trotting in. On his flank was a crazy pony head, on fire. "Still not sure what it means though."

-

"And so my fellow Ninjas, this book is why even if we are no longer funded by Princess Celestia, we should continue to hunt down and obliterate all corruptive material that may harm our foals." Maternity Love Tap finished writing her letter in code.

Session 64.19 Mtangalion

Halfway across town, in Sugarcube Corner’s kitchen, Gilda suddenly went rigid, shedding a few feathers. “What… Whoa… What’s this weird feeling?” She kept twitching oddly, like the time she’d tried baking catnip into brownies and sampled the results.

Pinkie Pie’s eyes grew wide. “Ooh, is it like Pinkie Sense?”

Gilda’s talons screeched across the floor tiles. “Ugh, no… More like...” She blinked. “Oh, squawk.”

There was the sound of a crystal window shattering, and then the door of Starlight’s room banged open. Gilda stood there, her eyes blazing red. “Who did it?” She took in the sight of the traumatized young griffon and fillies. “Who’s been hurting hatchlings?!” Her burning gaze zeroed in on Garble. “You.”

“I… I don’t know what you’re talking about!” stammered Garble the pegasus colt. “As if I was gonna let them play some stupid game for babies like Crystals and Rainbows. If you ask me, I did them a favor and…” Gilda lunged. “Yikes!”

Starlight and the others watched Garble fly into the hallway at top speed with Gilda in hot pursuit.

“Would you cut it out?” protested Garble. They flew another lap around this floor of the castle, racing past Starlight’s room again. “Crazy birdbrain!” “That really hurts, you know!” “Stop pecking me!!” “Ow, quit it!”

Gabby sighed and looked away, embarrassed. “She went ‘mother hen.’”

“Sorry, did you say… mother hen?” Starlight discreetly started taking notes.

Apple Bloom blinked. “Wow, and Ah didn’t think she was even a mom.”

“I’m pretty sure she’s not,” said Gabby. “But, I’ve heard sometimes it happens to hens that are the right age, who really wish they had hatchlings, but they just can’t find any griff that’ll…”

“That is so none of your business!” shouted Gilda when she flew past again. “I can handle my own… kill, murder, protect hatchlings!”

“Okay, everypony and griffon just calm down,” said Starlight. “I know just the spell to fix all of this.”

Scootaloo poked Sweetie Belle, whispering urgently, “Where’s the mana bomb shelter?”

“Hah hah, you girls are such kidders.” Starlight waited, horn lit, then fired a spell into the hallway and around the corner. There was a strangled whinney that became a high-pitched cheep, and an adorable little griffon tumbled to a stop, a young male with golden fur and crimson feathers.

Gilda stopped too, eyes growing large and sparkly. “Hatchling… all alone…” She picked up the squirming and protesting griffon Garble, snuggling him. “Don’t worry little guy, I’ll take good care of ya!”

“The buck you will!” shouted Garble as Gilda flew out through the broken window and away with him.

Starlight laughed nervously. “We might need some more help for this one. I’ll just contact Trixie and…” The Crusaders and Gabby glared at her. “Fine, I’ll tell Twilight.”

Session 64.20 Alex Warlorn

As Twilight and Spike played checkers, Twilight said, "I still don't know how the griffins all ended up brainwashed."

"Well it IS your castle Twilight, I'd say it probably learned from you."

"Agh! Enough the 'brainwashing fetish' Spike! For the last time I don't have one!"

And In the Human world

"So tell me more about how you hypnotized the entire school planning to use them as your demon army Sunset," Sci-Twi asked.

-

"Please tell me you're not on that stupid forum again Aria!" Adagio complained.

"What? There are so many stupid humans who want to want to write about and role play people being put under mind control, it makes good side money selling 'pay per view' of our 'fictional' life story."

Session 64.21 Kendell2

"Wow..." said Minty, sitting at the gaming table. "Your character is named Minty?" she asked, cocking her head.

Twilight rubbed her head. "Yeah...I have NO idea how she ended up being...well, you..." she muttered, looking confused.

"..." Minty slowly put her own character and sheet on the table. Then compulsively made sure everything was ordered correctly. "...Mine is named Twilight Twinkle..."

Twilight stared for a moment, noting the similar cutie mark to her own and the bio even had some similarities.

"I swear I didn't mean to make it a copy of you!...Not that there's anything wrong with you, you're a princess and everything! And saved the world like nine times. I'm sure a lot of ponies pretend to be you, but I wasn't trying to!" Minty exclaimed, seeming to lose her train of thought a little bit as she spoke. "I made her on the way over!"

"Well...not that many..." Twilight said, with an awkward smile.

"Hey, Twilight?" Spike asked walking into the room with a letter. "Got another letter from a mare who named their daughter after you in homage. Should I put it with the others?"

Twilight blushed brightly. "Uh...yes, Spike...That'd be great."

She secretly wondered if Human Twilight was having similar problems...

Sci Twilight's Twilight in Rainbows and Crystals stared at another Twilight labeled 'Twilight Twinkle'.

'...Seriously, I haven't played before today, I have no idea how this happened...' replied the other Twilight. A quick look into it showed just that was true, to both their surprise.

Session 64.22 Kendell2

"...This character's weird but whatever," Garble replied, clawing (he was still a little griffon) Button back his profile sheet.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Sweetie Belle asked. "This game is REALLY bad, like worse than Darkest Oubliettes bad!"

"Don't worry, Sweetie Belle, I've got this," Button Mash said with a confident smirk.

"Alright, runt, let's see how you handle it!" Garble growled back, smirking.

"Alright, so you're standing there with the six Chaos Demons standing over you, how you gonna get out of this one punk?" asked Garble, looking more than a little annoyed at this point. This colt was good. TOO good. It was like his character was perfectly made to counter every dark twist the game had without breaking ANY of the rules!

Button then gave a smirk. "Me and Sweetie Belle cast the spell 'Heart Song' on them.'

Garble laughed. "Like THAT'S gonna work! Their hearts aren't IN there genius! They're in the big eldritch abomination thing!" The spell called out to the buried heart of others to free them from corruption. Garble had had to work a few ways around it, but he'd never been worried. After all, you couldn't reach what wasn't THERE.

The little colt's smirk didn't leave. "And where ARE we?"

"Next to the lake of fire leading to the infinite darkness...where...the..." Garble said, eyes slowly widening as he realized the portal to said abomination was right in the room with them. "...Crud..."

They did the rolls, and the abomination failed its roll, meaning the spell was a success.

"Fine! You got them back to normal! SOMEHOW!" the dragon-turned-griffon growled. "But there's nothing stopping me from having the abomination take them BACK!"

"There's one thing," Button said with a smirk, taking out the rule book. "'When a character's spiritual essence is torn by an outside force, they take a 80 percent deduction to all stats for five turns and are stunned for two turns.' It absorbed that and now it was torn out of it, it totally qualifies!"

"That...that was only meant to apply to you!" Garble roared.

"Rules don't say that!"

Garble looked ready to torch the colt. "FINE! All the good it will do you!"

As the 'bosses' were now allies and the monster was stunned, Garble didn't get a turn to retaliate...

"...I throw ALL the bombs we brought with us right into the eldritch thingie's eye!" Button Mash stated.

Garble's jaw dropped. "I...I thought those were to blow up the Crystal Castle!"

Button shook his head. "Nope, I said we were gathering enough supplies to blow up the Crystal Castle, not that that was what we WERE doing."

Garble didn't currently have fire breath, but somehow his nose was still smoking. He rolled the dice. "Uh...failed! Didn't even hurt it! Looks lik-hey!"

Spike, who'd just been watching, pushed Garble aside and looked. "They got a winning roll, you cheater."

The griffon chick snarled, but found his claws couldn't hurt Spike at present. He looked at the damage tallies with wide eyes. "You...you killed it..."

The CMC cheered and Button gave a smile...then blushed when Sweetie gave him a small peck on the cheek.

Garble, on the other hoof, was redder in the face and gave a roar, flipping the table over and storming out.

"Where'd you learn to be so good at games, Button?" Scootaloo asked.

"My dad knows a game store, he taught me how to handle Killer Game Masters..."

Session 64.23 Grogar-the-oneser

"Your highness, its a report from the ambassador. He wants either to move to a different location, and if not then the dragon's greatest game-master to proverbially destroy a jerk child with stupid outdated hats."

"Denied." Ember said.

"Deny the-reassignment or deny sending a gamemaster?" The messenger asked.

"Both."

Session 64.24 Alex Warlorn

"Thanks for coming guys!" Rose said as she waved Cedric, Bella, and Willow off... Leaving only her roommate at the Funtasia Magic Academy, Lynn The Witch Pony. It had been anther season, and she'd finished up the ground work for what was going to be her most epic adventure she's done for her friends ever! While Will had been hesitant, and Bella hadn't quite gotten the point, they'd long since become regulars at the table.

"So, what did you think of my new villain? Not to give anything away yet but she's just the tip of iceberg for a storm of a larger threat in game."

"So how long until she's redeemed?" Lynn asked.

"Huh?"

Lynn said, "Rose, every time you introduce a new big villain into the campaign, we start taking a betting pool on how long it'll be before they're redeemed."

"I didn't redeem the Sirens..."

"That's because we had to cut the sessions short."

Rose's eyes shifted about. "Uh, no it wasn't! And I didn't redeem Tirek!"

"Yeah, for some reason guys don't seem to get an automatic forgiveness card in your campaign world."

"Hey! Is it wrong that I like the idea of ponies being super forgiving and bad ponies always turning good."

"But it's become predictable, and not to mention feels kinda forced, and I think the changelings looked better before the rainbow-sherbet flavoring. Perfect company for witch ponies."

"HEY! You promised not to bring that up again. I'm sick of hearing you complain about it over and over Lynn."

"Okay, I'm sorry, that was over the line. But I'm serious Rose, there's nothing pretty or wonderful of the bad guy turning good if it all just happens because you say so."

"I'm the Herd Master, everything is because I say so."

"That's not what I mean... Rose, I liked that you let us redeem Diamond Tiara, I even got to play as her for a few sessions... And I LOVED that you let me turn Trixie in a regular party member, but it just now feels... like there's no surprise in it anymore."

-

http://fillyfuntasia.com

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filly_Funtasia

-

"What do you think they're thinking?" Pinkie Pie asked, looking down at the little figurines on the table. "Of all the crazy random stuff that happens to them, and all the weird decisions they suddenly make?"

"Pinkie Pie," Twilight said calmly, "They don't 'think' anything, they're just characters in our collective game of pretend. And hopefully we WON'T stumble across a rift in reality leading to a universe that echoes off of our game night."

"What if there are ponies in some other universe who role play us?"

"Now that's just silly," Twilight said, hoping those words WOULDN'T bite her in the flank.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 64.0 Kendell2
Session 64.1 Mtangalion
Session 64.2 Alex Warlorn, Ardashir, BrutalityInc, Grogar-the-onser
Session 64.3 Kendell2
Session 64.4 Mtangalion
Session 64.5 Redsopine (with edits) (Continued from 42.0 brutality)
Session 64.6 Kendell2
Session 64.7 Alex Warlorn
Session 64.8 Ardashir
Session 64.9 Ardashir
Session 64.10 Kendell2
Session 64.11 Alex Warlorn
Session 64.12 SomeRandomMinion
Session 64.13 Alex Warlorn
Session 64.14 Ardashir (with edits)
Session 64.15 Mtangalion
Session 64.16 Alex Warlorn
Session 64.17 Alex Warlorn
Session 64.18 Alex Warlorn
Session 64.19 Mtangalion
Session 64.20 Alex Warlorn
Session 64.21 Kendell2
Session 64.22 Kendell2
Session 64.23 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 64.24 Alex Warlorn

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Picture by Moonlight-Ki, used with permission.

Session 65

Session 65.0 Mtangalion

Gilda was slumped in a chair at Sugarcube Corner, wearing an ice pack on her head and surrounded by empty cupcake wrappers. Gilda wasn't the type to leave Pinkie Pie's cheer-up cupcakes just sitting around, but they didn't seem to have cheered her up much so far.

The doorbell jingled and Gerold padded in. "Rough day?"

Gilda groaned and pushed a parchment that smelled of brimstone across the table to him. "You could say that."

Gerold padded closer, swiveling his head to read it. "'You are not Garble's mother. He never remembers to bring me a gem on Mother's Day, but he is mine, Tiamat help us. Dragon Lord Ember has decreed that this is his penance, so I resisted my first impulse to fly over there, light you on fire, and bring my son home.' Jeez!" Gerold cringed, fur and feathers fluffing up. He skimmed the rest. "Classy lady…"

Gilda half-grinned, waggling a talon. "There's an old pony saying. 'Never play chess with a dragon.'"

Gerold considered this. "Uh… why not?"

"I don't know! Cause they tear your legs off when they lose or something? Twilight didn't tell me that part. She had to fly off because their best-buddies map called them all to the biggest O&O convention in Manehattan." She leaned closer to Gerold, smirking. "I'd bet my bag of shinies that one of them faked it. Okay, half my shinies. Let's not go crazy here."

Then Gilda put a wing around Gerold and nuzzled him, purring.

Gerold's eyes grew wide, but he didn't push her away. "You realize, you've probably got some leftover hatchling fever from the mother hen thing, right?"

"Don't care," cooed Gilda, preening a few of his ruffled feathers.

"Remember how I said I used to date the other you, in the human world?"

Now Gilda looked annoyed. "I remember saying that we weren't gonna mention that again."

Gerold coughed, scratching the back of his neck. "Funny thing… I got a letter too. Beats me how the pegasus with the funny eyes got it here, but the other Gilda, she said she met a new griff… a new guy, I mean. Bumped into him at an arcade, had a few sodas... I'm sure it wasn't *that* big a deal, and she was just playing him up to hint that I should move on, but…"

Gilda swept Gerold off his paws, holding him close with a smoldering look in her eyes. "Too much talking." She grinned, licking her beak. "Sheesh, we've both been hanging around ponies too long. You could have just said 'I'm available.'"

Gerold gulped, purring back at her. "But, the thing is… this guy the other Gilda met, his name was Zephyr Breeze."

Gilda blinked several times, then focused on Gerold again, stroking his chest with a claw. "You know what? I really don't want to think about that." She flicked his beak playfully and tossed the ice pack aside. "It's your fault I'm thinking about that thing I'm not thinking about, so I expect you to do something to take my mind off it!" She padded out the door, letting it slam behind her. "Well, come on, loser!" she shouted through the closed door. "Ain't got all day!"

"Sheesh, whatever!" Gerold shouted back at her. "Crazy hen! Keep your beak on!" Then he grinned and raked his claws through his crest, giving a claws-up to the mirror beside the door before following her.

Gilda the human forced herself to chill. She'd gotten a lot stronger since she learned how to griffon-up, and that was super awesome, but she didn't want to crush another cell phone in her fist. "Maybe I wasn't clear," she shouted into the phone. "If you come by here again, I'll break your other hand."

Ember the dog growled energetically. "And I'll bite his other pants, mistress!"

"Good girl," said Gilda, smirking.

The voice on the other end of the phone call protested.

Gilda blinked. "I didn't break your hand, Zephy? Well, maybe I should fix that!"

The phone call hung up quickly.

Gilda grumbled under her breath. "Okay, who's next on the match list?" She switched to the phone's browser, tabbed over to the AlrightCupid dating website, and scrolled past the pony-cherub logo. "Featherbangs? Eh, can't be any worse."

Session 65.1 Kendell2

Adagio laughed, looking at her pendant. "The Sirens are going to be making their comeback tour tonight..." she chuckled.

"Uh, sis, I think there's one BIG thing you've forgotten about in all this," Aria pointed out.

The Alpha of their little school snarled. "What?!"

"Last time we were at full power and those seven STILL kicked our tail fins, which is how we ended up in this mess to begin with!" her fellow replied. "So other than hoping any new Sirens we make, who might I add won't be nearly as powerful as us, will tip the scales, which given how unbalanced they were is unlikely, how exactly do you plan to prevent us from getting demolished AGAIN?"

Adagio gave a menacing chuckle. "Oh sister, did you forget who you're talking to?" she asked, producing a new necklace that seemed a mesh of cold and technology. It seemed to have a perfect slot for the amulet. "This will solve that little problem."

"...What IS that?" Aria asked, almost disturbed. She stopped being disturbed and just looked curious when she noticed that two more were in the bag.

"You know how Princess Purple managed to boost and change how the Mirror Portal worked with magic and technology?" Adagio asked. "Well THIS new amulet was made from a shard of a magic mirror, and the new ones I create for you two will be copies...So I decided to upgrade a little bit this time."

"...Where did YOU learn to do that?"

"We've been around this place for centuries without our powers, you think I haven't picked up a few things?" Adagio asked, giving her typical smug smirk. "The Sirens are going to be new and improved..."

Session 65.2 QuartzScale

It was time. Time for action. Time for change. Time to wow these fools out of their socks with something amazing.

"Sombra." A voice called out.

He had to sell it. He was going to make things go great for Radiant. She couldn't stay standing all day even if her pregnancy was still in its first trimester. It was time for action. They needed to reveal Crystals and Rainbows to the masses. Discord had the special trailer ready for the expansion in World of Hoofcraft.

"Sombra!" A voice answered more firmly.

Sombra instantly looked up noticing that Hope was in front of him looking slightly worried. They were back stage while everyone else was getting ready for the first show of the convention. A comprehensive look at everything in Crystals and Rainbows.

"Sorry dear. I was psyching myself up. It's been a while since I've been back on stage once again. We're showing off an entire pile of new things. I am worried about what those singing girls are releasing for us. The last time we thought about a MOBA we had to deal with a food fight in the mess hall between the forces that allied with Accord and Chrysalis after her last failed date. I really don't want that to happen again." Sombra shuddered. He still couldn't look at tapioca anymore.

"I know Sombra but this will be fine. The MOBA is weird in that we're using the races from Hoofcraft working in harmony together to make sure guard their side." Hope smiled. It was the only thing that they could argue to keep since Adagio was in charge of the project for all her contributions to the music they created for everything.

"We really shouldn't have given them a contract ruling like that but since it was the only way they would work on Crystal and Rainbows soundtrack I suppose it was worth it." Sombra muttered under his breath.

"I was certain Sonata would have done it for free." Hope answered with a smile on her face.

"Right. Well let's get out on stage already. Are you ready to reveal your project?" Sombra asked as the two walked beyond the curtain.

"Always." Hope confidently stated.

The two walked into the spotlight where a whole group of women were waiting at the stage ready for the unveiling including several older consumers who wanted to destress as well. The guys in the audience looked to be uninterested or only there for their girlfriend but the fact that they grew excited that Sombra and Hope appeared on stage destroyed the illusion. The cheers were deafening.

"Welcome to you all you crazy ponies you! Are you ready to live!" Sombra screamed out to an overhyped group of cheers and happiness.

"Welcome everypony to my little project that I've been heading for a while already. I know you all have been needing a little more time to unwind before our next Hoofcraft expansion so I have decided to give you something to scratch that itch so to speak." Hope pointed out to the screen as the stylized logo of Crystals and Rainbows appeared.

"This game will truly let you live a life outside your own for your enjoyment. For your own sense of satisfaction. And for your own happiness. It's time to enjoy your time in a calm Equestria!"

The trailer started with one of the happiest renditions ever made.

~My Little Pony~

~My Little Pony~

Several ponies were exploring the world finding new paths to explore. An earth pony tripped before being picked up from falling by a pegasus. A unicorn managed to pick up several object looking over their map while a breezy searched a smaller area. A griffin sensed out a new object through smell.

Then several challenges appeared a pegasus with larger wings challenged another to a race. A unicorn taught some magical spells to create music. An earth pony did some farming mini game which seemed to resemble basketball. Breezies had to ride the wind managing to keep from being swept away. Griffins hunted down certain creatures to take pictures of them through a sense of smell.

Then the castles were revealed as several players made new music, families, rides, parties, even ceremonies detailing their accomplishments. As the lights came down the last screen showed that Crystals and Rainbows was available for purchase the next day after the convention was over.

"Thank you all for coming out here. This is Crystals and Rainbows and this is a chance to have your own pony, breezy or griffin life as you see fit. Enjoy the rest of the convention. We have another presentation in two hours!" Hope cried out to the cheers of the entire crowd.

Session 65.3 Alex Warlorn

"So... these augmented reality eyepatches, they're made on the cheap, but they still give a full HD color view of the overlapped game world and the audio piece to boot. Players may be upset at having to buy a new toy to be able to play a new game, but with how big MOBAs and Augmented Reality are right now, we should still get some players. And we're giving out a handful at the convention just to get the rock rolling. We should have a large player base in no time." Human Gilda went over with human Gabby, for their part in getting the ball rolling for the new MOBA about to be announced.

"Can I play?"

"NO! They're for the paying customers, not us."

"Oh."

"So remember the three special 'events' we have planned after the game is released, each one at a different spot. Sonata sings at the first one, then Aira does at the second, and I sing for the first part of the third, and then all three of us for our grand final. The first two with special event bosses... with bonus' for first attack, final attack, most overall damage done, most hits done, and the prizes get better if you get more than one bonus. They players will be backstabbing each other to get them. By the time of the third event, with me, some may have transformed, or are primed to be."

"I hope you'll remember how to keep our new sisters in line," Aria said.

"Don't worry about that. You said it yourself that they aren't going to be as strong as us since they're just created. And we're still alphas. Well, I am."

"First things I'm gonna do with our new army of sisters is-"

"Sonata, if you say 'bring me tacos' I swear you'll be singing with a broken arm." Aria hissed.

"... Never mind."

"The point is girls, don't worry, I've got that covered. They won't transform into 'nice' sirens. Or transform into pretty sparkly sirens."

"OH! OH! Does that mean we'll get cool new outfits, hair styles, and forms since we'll be more powerful!?"

Adagio got ready to hit Sonata over the head, but stopped and put a finger to her lip, "Actually, it might."

"Cool!"

Aria rolled her eyes. "As long as we don't have to worry about them turning on us, or ignoring us."

"They'll be loyal to their new school, and no Sonata, I don't mean that kind of school. and our songs will help them along the right path until their transformation triggers."

"Here's hoping nothing blows up in our faces again."

"I've got that one covered too... with us working at Crystal Soft, I left a paper trail leading to Sombra's mother, if anything goes south, the records will show we were used as figure heads by the evil woman who created Crazy-Teacher Simulator and the rest."

"So we don't get blamed! Cool!" Sonata seemed quite happy at this.

"I've also finished programming the final boss... with sacred text of the Esoteric Order of Father Dagon and Mother Hydra. Some black box programming tied to the rest of the game so it can't be deleted without crashing the game. The ritual is written right into the game's code! If anyone finds it, they'll think it's just a in-joke easter egg like those monster symbols in Doomed's soundtrack! Just as his blessing flows through us, it'll flow through the players by the time we're done."

"So, do we make sure the Rainbooms get freebies so we can make sure they're corrupted, I mean blessed, or do we make sure they don't meddle by denying them and saying we're just being jerks to them like they know we'd be?" Aria asked.

"Oh, and we should make sure they give one to Trixie Lulamoon!" Sonata said.

"Who?" The other two sirens asked.

"Oh, remember? The one who was gonna be in the final until we brainwashed the principals? Who we mind controlled into trapping the Rain Booms in the basement so we could feed off their strife?"

"What about her?" Aria rolled her eyes.

"I think she's fun! She'd make a great siren! I can't wait to start ordering her around!"

"Fine," Adagio said.

The AI Screwball took one took at the hidden stat of the new game called 'Corruption'... and let it be, smiling and nodding, and didn't even think to tell her father about it. Since was a game AI after all, she didn't understand how some things acceptable in a game might not so acceptable in the real world (like people being subtly corrupted into monsters). In fact, she thought it was very clever.

However... she did frown at the final boss... not that its stats were insanely high, that was a given for final bosses, even for the first release of a game like this. You didn't want players beating it on their first try after all. But she find that Adagio MUST have made a mistake, since the boss wasn't just insanely hard, it was literally unbeatable, even the max number of players the servers could handle with all the best bonus couldn't beat it, its HP just wouldn't drop. So the AI Screwball wrote in an event during the boss fight that if the players did it right, would make the 'infinite HP' boss actually killable, but still easily the hardest challenge in the game by a large margin. Satisfied with her work, the AI Screwball felt no need to inform others of this. She didn't want to get some programmers in trouble over an honest mistake after all.

Session 65.4 Kendell2

The time came for the announcement of their new MOBA that would be introduced and playable at the Con, and the Sirens stood back stage.

"Alright, it's time girls. Are you ready?" asked Adagio with a smirk as her sisters did the same back.

The audience watched the stage until the lights darkened and the Sirens' Bonus Boss theme from World of Hoofcraft began playing. The trio slowly walked their way through fog produced by a fog machine, still using autotune to make their singing tolerable as they did their signature opera-like singing and came on stage, dressed to look like their in game counterparts as best as possible.

"Hello Crystal Con!" called Adagio, giving a charismatic wave. "I am Adagio Dazzle, and these are my sisters, Aria Blaze and Sonata Dusk. We are the brilliant minds behind all that wonderful music you've been listening to every time you play one of Crystal Soft's games." 'Though mostly me'. "Thank you for buying the soundtracks and listening to them over and over and over again."

The three blew a kiss, causing more than a few members of the audience to swoon.

"But you may know us better for our Bonus Boss battle in Hoofcraft. Especially since, given Crystal Soft's signature difficulty, we probably killed you a dozen times," Adagio joked, getting laughs and some admitting grumbles from the crowd. "But don't worry, in our knew game we're on YOUR side, so no worries there."

That got a few chuckles from the crowd.

"Now, I know a lot of you are looking forwards to starting your new life in Rainbows and Crystals," Adagio explained.

"I am!" Sonata exclaimed.

"...Which by the way, we also wrote the music for, I hope you appreciate it..." said Adagio, managing to hide her seething hatred of making that soundtrack. Given it was the lovechild of Sombra's wife and they still needed to have their jobs for the plan to work, she knew she had to promote her game. "But I also know plenty of you are looking for your fix of killing things and beating up monsters until our next Hoofcraft expansion comes out, am I right?"

That got a large amount of cheers from the crowd.

"Thought so...so we're here to introduce 'Heroes of Crystal', a new MOBA we've developed," Adagio continued, keeping her charisma running full blast. "A new foe has risen from the depths of the sea to try and drown Equus in darkness, and only you can stop it..." she said, dramatically. "YOU are the hero this time!...And I mean that literally..."

She walked over to a display and produced the new eyepatch. "This lovely little device will let you enjoy our new game from first person in an immersive experience that I'm certain you'll all enjoy...after all, who doesn't want to be the big hero and save the world, am I right?"

More applause.

"Of course where there's fame to be had there's only so much to go around, so make sure to grab yourselves as big of a piece as you can, we'll have plenty of opportunities during the game. But enough beating around the bush, you're here for the trailer, aren't you? So let's hit it!" Adagio called, motioning.

The lights dimmed and on the screen, a hero from Hoofcraft walked along the beach...when suddenly the ocean turned and out burst a Lovecraftian Horror, followed by legions of others behind it. Villains from Hoofcraft joined their ranks, preparing for battle.

A legion of characters from Hoofcraft rushed forward, including Celestia and Luna, and the two sides charged, a huge war taking place with heroes and villains fighting everywhere across the battlefield. This included a scene of the purified Sombra from the end of Horsecraft's expansion battling the True Final Boss, his mother Rabia. The camera slowly moved back, revealing the Sirens rising up on the HEROES side and singing, buffing up several of the heroes for the closing shot as the title appeared to thunderous applause.

"Fight, win, be the hero of your story!...Me and my sisters will be at a booth for sign ups! Come see us there everybody!" Adagio called as the trio retreated back stage, at which point she gave a sinister chuckle. "Perfect..."

Session 65.5 Mtangalion and QuartzScale

After the enthusiasm for the presentation of Crystals and Rainbows, and the overwhelming turnout for the new MOBA, it was starting to get a little warmer in the convention hall. Discord tugged on his collar, swearing that he could see steam rise from his body as he waited for his own presentation. The expansion was not done in the slightest, but the characters that were being introduced were in fact done and modeled out, thanks in no small part to Scorpan and Thorax working long hours overtime. Screwball had actually helped as well, secretly working on the animations in her spare time, though Discord couldn't exactly tell anyone about it.

Discord pulled out his mobile phone, but not to make a call. At least, not any normal phone call. "OK, sweetheart… Do you have the file ready for me?"

"Sure thing, Daddy!" Screwball messaged Discord through the program he'd created specifically for her to use whenever he was out and about and couldn't bring his laptop. "I just managed to get the right camera angles and all the models have been positioned and perfectly connected to their skeletal structure. It took a while to get the joints to work right but I got them to listen."

"Congratulations, my dear." He didn't often give genuine compliments to anyone. "Perhaps you could be the next Saddle Spoolburg or Raven Hitching Post."

"Thanks, Daddy! I'm gonna try my hand at some machinima later using the models we have. I have the perfect story. A yak and a griffon, lovers being dragged apart by fate." Screwball's virtual eyes sparkled. "There could be no more perfect pair!"

"Right… Truly there is no one more visionary than you, my dear." Discord heard the cries and heavy stomps of crazy fans ready to storm the stage. "Oh, it's almost time for the show."

"Break a leg, Daddy! Only don't… You know, just do good!"

Discord pocketed his phone and rushed out on the stage holding an air guitar which "wailed" along with the soundtrack from the new expansion, as the entire stage was enveloped in a haze of red lights. As the music came to an end, Discord smashed his air guitar on the floor and pumped his fists, bringing everyone to their feet.

"DO I KNOW HOW TO MAKE AN ENTRANCE OR WHAT?" Discord screamed at the top of his lungs to the wildly cheering crowd. He knew what the people needed. He knew what they wanted. He was going to give it to them… sooner or later.

Discord peered over the crowd, noticing several of Chrysalis's staff. Thorax was standing near his older brother Pharynx, who merely rolled his eyes and gave the signal. Never was Discord happier than he was now to know the rubber chicken in the bathing suit gag still was useful for something.

"Now, I know you've all been waiting. Truly, we've got some ferocious monsters to battle and tame but I have to know... Why do you want to fight these guys?" Discord held his microphone out towards the crowd.

"For loot!"

"For fun!"

"To impress that one girl I like even though I know this habit feeds into my faults which I am working on… eventually!"

Discord quirked an eyebrow at that and promptly ignored it. Otherwise, he might have actually felt some pity for the guy.

"All valid reasons I'm sure… except for that one fellow." There were a few laughs and scattered claps. "You're going to be facing demons and monsters from beyond the veil, you know! I doubt that even all of you working together... ponies, yaks, zebras, griffons, and diamond wolves, would be able to handle them." Discord grinned, stroking his goatee.

"We can handle them!"

"Yeah we're awesome!"

"All your base are belong to us!"

"Now now… retsu get tu the game!" Discord shouted out as the screen once again came down and the entire crowd went silent. The lights shut down, plunging the convention hall into darkness.

Then, the voice of Princess Luna spoke...

"In an age long past, We, the Sisters of the Moon and Sun, fought against the tides of darkness that sought to sweep over this land. The Umbrum. The Lord of Chaos. These you know, but there is an older, darker story. A tale of two brothers, who, in all their infinite wisdom, decided that Equestria belonged to them. They gathered an army of demons and corrupted dragons and sought to claim it. Some of you have heard this tale before, but be warned, it is no mere legend.

"Through the bravery of a unicorn hero, the younger brother finally saw the true light of friendship, and with his aid, the elder brother was cast down, and We banished him to the deepest pits of Tartarus… forever.

"Unfortunately, time makes fools of us all."

Fade in… Another glorious, sunny day for adventure in Ponyville. Pony archers in shiny new armor swapped tales with a grizzled griffon veteran near the Adventurer's Guild. A lime-green unicorn mare and a yellow earth pony with a blue and pink mane strolled past, gossiping. Several colts galloped down a street, kicking a ball.

The music turned ominous, and the camera plunged through the ground, past a cavern where diamond wolves were digging up gems, past lava-filled caves, and finally down to a vast and gloomy underworld.

Prisoners sat on flat-topped stone pillars, each surrounded by a bottomless abyss and reachable only by a winding and narrow path. Grim-faced young dragons in armor guarded all the exits, and a huge three-headed dog gnawed on an enormous bone in the middle of it all.

(Cerberus, the Hound of Tartarus)

The camera moved towards one of the "cells," where a feeble and decrepit creature sat, mostly hidden by a black cloak. "Weakness," he spat. "Infirmary. The indignity of it all!" He looked across the cavern, sneering. "For millennia, I have been locked away in this place, and even after millennia, ponies still fear me." He grinned cruelly, gleaming eyes visible beneath his hood. "Soon, I will remind them why."

Below, the air crackled and warped, and a giant shiny rubber ball appeared from nowhere, bouncing by itself. Cerberus immediately sat up and drooled, wagging his tail. He barked, chasing after it, and when he caught it in his jaws, both dog and ball vanished.

Tartarus itself trembled… without Cerberus present, the locking spells began to fail. Hordes of demons poured out of their cells. A cloud monster boiled into the caverns, racing ahead of the others. A path of frost formed, turning to solid ice as a penguin marched forth. A strange bipedal catwoman slinked into the shadows.

Worse followed… A giant dog made of solid rock and monster made of lava smashed through stone walls, burrowing their own paths out. Seven creepy foals headed for an exit, floating along in single file, and no one even dared get near them. A trio of human witches barked orders at the demons, cursing a dragon into a toad when he tried to get in their way.

The hooded and cloaked prisoner started to leave with them, but a dragon hissed for his attention, beckoning towards a secret passage. "Lord Tirek! This way…" The dragon grinned, holding out his claw expectantly.

The traitorous dragon was himself betrayed when Tirek siphoned all the magic right out of him, growing larger and stronger until the cloak barely covered him. "Your… offering… is appreciated." Tirek left the dragon twitching on the floor and walked away, laughing coldly.

In the throne room of the Palace of Canterlot. Celestia and Cadence were talking, and Luna was pacing impatiently.

The great double doors slammed open. "Hey, you can't come in here!" shouted Shining Armor. His guards readied their lances.

"It's okay, Shiny!" said Cadence, smiling. "I have a feeling that they're here to help."

A trio of young dragons flew into the library and landed with loud thumps, bowing only slightly before the gathered Princesses of Equestria.

A purple dragon in a robe grinned cockily, balancing a green fireball on one claw.

(Spike, Dragon Mage)

A red and yellow dragon in heavy armor hefted his battleaxe, eager to put it to use.

(Garble, Dragon Brawler)

A blue dragoness removed her helm and thumped the end of her ruby staff on the floor. "Those jerks escaped from Tartarus on our watch, so Dragon Lord Torch has vowed that we'll do whatever it takes to make it right again." She smirked. "Even work with ponies."

(Ember, Daughter of the Dragon Lord)

The camera zoomed out with a loud boom, showing all three of them posing dramatically.

Princess Celestia smiled. "Welcome, friends. Tartarus has fallen. Any one of the prisoners within would be a grave threat, but if Lord Tirek escapes… We're going to need all the help we can get."

A group of ponies were trapped in the Everfree Forest, surrounded by equine demons. A few of the ponies stumbled, losing hope. The demons leapt into the air, diving for the group, when several new creatures jumped into the fray. They were equine shaped, but taller, and they had antlers on their heads. With a glow of their horns, vines burst from the ground, tangling and crushing the demons before they got any closer.

"It seems that once again our prowess is required." A tall white deer with overly ornate antlers appeared, a green heart of magic appearing between his antlers, held up by magic.

(NEW RACE: DEER)
(NEW CLASS: CHLOROMANCER)

At a guard post on the edge of a craggy mountain range, Princess Luna launched herself into the air, fully armed and armored and accompanied by a force of winged pony guards. These were no ordinary pegasi, though. Every one of them had darker coats and leathery bat wings. The strange ponies assaulted a giant whale demon floating through the sky, warping through the shadows and using them to speed up or even redirect attacks. Several of them even wove constructs out of shadow, making it into shields and sharp spears as they danced around the field, striking whatever weak point they could find.

"CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT! STRIKE THEM DOWN!" Luna cried as she charged in, splitting the whale demon in half with a beam of pure moonlight.

(NEW PONY TRIBE: THESTRAL)
(NEW CLASS: SHADOW DANCER)

In a desolate waste on the border of Equestria, an ancient archway stood, a towering stone monument carved with demons and cowled figures. There were no watchers, no armies standing guard, only a swirling red vortex that churned angrily.

(The Gate of Tartarus)

A huge red-skinned hand burst from the portal, gripping the edge tightly enough to crack the stone. Lord Tirek braced himself, snarling, and reached out. The ward over the portal flared, sparkling with the symbols of the sun and the moon bound together in harmony, until he gripped it and squeezed, crushing the ward to dust.

Demons began to rush out of the portal and past Tirek, who still stood in the shadow of the great gate. "Secure this area!" he shouted. "Organize the slaves and begin raising the new Midnight Castle!" He chuckled, eyes glowing. "Wait till they get a load of me…"

The camera rushed away and rose higher and higher into the heavens, until the stars and the curve of the world were visible, over a fiery sunset.

(CrystalSoft proudly presents)

Princess Celestia's voice spoke, "He knows our magic, sister. None of it will work on him again, and I fear that Cadence alone will not have the strength to oppose him. We need new magic."

Luna's voice answered, "Entirely new magic? But that could only come from…"

"Yes, sister. New Alicorns."

Ghostly images of two ponies appeared over the sunset, as if cradling the world in their hooves. One red and yellow, the other purple, their features indistinct.

(World of Horsecraft: Ascension)

"Ascension is coming!" shouted Discord as the convention hall lights came up, and the crowd started cheering. "Are you ready for it?"

Session 65.6 Alex Warlorn

"Humans in Equestria?" Lyra gasped from her spot in the crowd. "SACRILEGE!!!!" And Bon Bon and others near her had to physically restrain her from storming the stage and trying to attack Discord with a folding chair.

Session 65.7 Alex Warlorn

Adagio asked, "Aria, what's that?"

"Oh! Heheh! I wasn't hiding this! It's our percentage of the micro-transactions for the MOBA!"

Adagio stared at the computer screen, jaw open. "... How do humans have this much money to throw away on nothing?"

"Oooh! Does this mean we can order that-"

Adagio said, "Sonata, baby sister, big sister loves you-"

Aria coughed. "Notreally."

"-But if you mention 'taco-mobile', or anything else taco related, I swear I'm taking you to therapy! And I'm bribing them to put you in evasive therapy so you can't even LOOK at a taco by the time they're done!"

"... I'll be good."

"Good! Now what about a down payment on a yacht?" Aria asked grinning.

Session 65.8 Mooncalf99 (with one paragraph added)

Rarity narrowed her eyes. "You've gone too far this time, Rainbow Dash."

"On the contrary - I haven't gone far enough!" the Wonderbolt retorted, grinning victoriously.

"No… you've definitely gone too far." Rarity indicated the game board, which consisted of connecting circles and squares overlaying a city scape. The title "Elkham Horror" was written on top, and several game tokens were spread across. "See, you lose two moves if you move through a monster-occupied space without stopping to fight."

"Okay, but then I can't reach the gate, and… Gilda!" Her head snapped up and she glared at the griffon sitting across the map table. "I thought you were on monster-clearing duty! Why the hay is that thing still there?"

"Okay, see, I was gonna kill it on my turn," Gilda said. "But since I could reach the antique store, I figured I'd look for artifacts so I could complete my personal quest."

"So you completely dropped the ball on the one thing I asked you to do, and now I can't reach the gate in time to close it," Rainbow said. She facehoofed. "Not cool, G."

"Hey, if I'd found an artifact, I'd complete my quest and be immune to sanity damage, which would've been super helpful," Gilda protested, looking a bit put upon. "I'll kill your monster next round, sheesh."

"Except we'd have won right now if I could've sealed the gate!" Rainbow pointed out in annoyance. "With the terror level this high, and the round ending…"

Spike drew an event card from the deck. "Yeah, she's right. Oh look, sinister howls, terror level rises another step… and the Ancient One awakens. So much for this universe."

"Does that mean we get ta fight it, though?" Applejack asked hopefully. "Las' time we fought Nyarlathotrot an' won, 'cept everypony but me died."

"Not this time," Spike says. "Big bad guy this time is The Smooze, and, quote the description, 'Nothing can stop The Smooze'. He wakes up, everything goes to Tartarus in a tea kettle, no save, no fight."

A chorus of sighs and groans resounded around the table. "Well, so much for that, I guess," Twilight said, shuffling up the game cards and pieces. "But it was fun while it lasted."

"Doesn't it feel a bit out of character, though?" Fluttershy said. "I mean, Smoozey wouldn't hurt a fly. Intentionally, at least. He's a sweetheart."

"I think the writers based him on the old pony tales from generations past," Starlight said. "I've looked him up, and there's a lot of 'true' stories that cast him as a villain. Plus he's a friend of Discord, so…"

"So am I," Fluttershy pointed out. "And you as well."

"Fair point, but still," Starlight protested.

"Actually," Spike said bringing out a book with three maple leaves on the cover. "The game 's referring to the PURPLE Smooze, not the GREEN Smooze. The purple WAS pure evil. And turned anypony who touched it depressed and nasty. It was only vulnerable to Flutterpony magic. Who some of you may recall faded out of history the exact same time that the changelings faded into history."

"So what are we gonna play next?" Pinkie asked, abruptly changing the subject. "Settlers of Butterfly Island? Bouncy Breezies? Save Doctor Lucky? Global Thaumomagical War?"

"Ugh, no," Twilight said, gagging a bit. "That's Shiny's kind of game. I haven't even figured out how you're supposed to win in it. I'd rather play a nice game of chess."

"Unless you figured out how to play chess with nine players, I don't think that's gonna be too much fun," Spike pointed out. He was right; between him, Twilight, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Starlight, and Gilda, a drawn-out two-player game wouldn't cut it.

Also, Gilda would probably start to argue about how the 'pawn rush' should be a legitimate move. Again.

"Actually, I invited you all because I did have something planned…" Twilight scanned the assembly of ponies and non-ponies again. "Except we're missing a few. Where's Discord, Trixie and Sunburst?"

"Sunburst is a bit… indisposed at the moment, sorry," Starlight said curtly.

 "That sounds foreboding," Rarity said. "Did something happen between you two? Something bad?"

 "Oh, no, not really," Starlight said dismissively. "Well, okay, a little. See, he got his hooves on some expensive tickets for a romantic day and evening in Manehattan for us both."

 "But that sounds--" Rarity began.

 "Several months ago," Starlight clarified. "Because he completely forgot about them when he found some books about the legends of Equestria that were more interesting."

 Rarity stared. Then she said, knowingly, "I see."

 "I'm not breaking up with him or anything," Starlight clarified. "I'm not even mad at him anymore. But I needed to make a point, so he's cooling off for a while."

Several miles north of the Crystal Empire, beneath the Everfreeze Glacier…

"This isn't so bad, after all," Sunburst mused. "These ice deposits trace back to the pre-Umbran era! Assuming I get out of here before freezing solid, I'll have enough research material for three papers!"

A keening howl cut through the air, sounding unsettlingly close by.

"Was that… a rimewolf howl?" Sunburst said. He grinned maniacally. "Incredible! Make that four papers!"

 "I'm sure he'll be fine," Starlight said reassuringly.

 "Okay, but what about--" Twilight began. However, she was cut off when the doors were slammed open, and two objects bearing an uncanny resemblance to flying pigs soared in like porcine rockets, accompanied by screams of either excitement or terror (or possibly both). "--What the?"

 The group could only stare as the fliers strafed the room, sending gaming paraphernalia and decorations flying. One of the pigs careened into the other, which promptly winked out of existence on collision, dislodging a blue and purple rider onto the floor in a heap. The first pig then flew straight into the wall, flattening its own rider against the unforgiving crystal surface as it disappeared in a puff of logic.

"...Discord?" Fluttershy asked in disbelief.

 "...Trixie?" Starlight echoed.

 "...Rocky?" Pinkie chimed in.

 "...The hay?" Applejack said.

 Starlight rushed over to her friend while Discord slowly unpeeled from the wall and floated to the ground like a cheap paper banner. "Trixie, are you okay?"

 "Euuugh… Trixie is fine, Trixie is fine, really…" the magician muttered, trying to regain her footing. She straightened up her hat and looked around dizzily. "Hello, Starlight… hello, girls… uh… did you invite your parallel-universe counterparts again? Glimmy, you never said you had a double… I need scissors, sixty-one…"

 "Well, I guess that answers that question," Twilight observed.

 "Sorry about the mess," Discord said, trying unsuccessfully to stand up. Instead, he only tangled himself up further. "We missed the train from Applewood, you see, so we had to hurry, and… oh, this isn't working." He snatched a compressed air tank out of somewhere and put the tube in his mouth, inflating himself like a balloon. "Much better. Can't have ponies call me a two-dimensional character." He exhaled a burst of excess air, sending the discarded game board flying again.

 "Applewood?" Spike asked. "I'll probably regret asking, but what were you guys doing in Applewood?"

 "Oh, what weren't we doing in Applewood…" Trixie said loftily as Starlight tried to lead her to a free seat. She shook her head vigorously, trying to get rid of some of the dizziness. "Auditioning. We were auditioning."

 "Auditioning?" Twilight asked. "Auditioning for what?"

 "Oh, you see, we're kind of big celebrities these days, after saving Equestria and rescuing a bunch of royalties and heroes and such," Discord said. "You may have heard of it. So some hoity-toity pony… not actually Hoity-Toity, some other guy…"

 "He was a producer," Trixie clarified. "Wanted to cash in on our fame, see? All of us, Trixie, Discord, Starlight… except she said no."

 "Right, that," Starlight said. "I'd forgotten. I turned them down because I didn't feel comfortable with it. I, uh, kind of had enough to deal with here, I felt."

 "Smart girl," Discord said. "And Thorax too, of course. But he's royalty now. Also, the Applewood Guild of Changeling Actors have some strict rules. Can't let anyling just show up and take on roles."

 "Wait, there's changelings in Applewood?" Applejack asked.

 "Well, obviously," Discord said.

Meanwhile, in Applewood…

 The handsome young earth pony slammed the door to his trailer open, stepped inside, and lazily fell into a stuffed recliner in front of his vanity mirror. He was well-toned, with a white coat and a chestnut-brown mane in that carefully tousled 'don't care about style' style. Coupled with his pearly white teeth, the devilish glint in his eye, and the beaten racing jacket with its upturned collar, he was the very image of a rake who could stop a princess' heart with one soulful look.

The pudgy unicorn trailing behind him, with the beard, glasses and baseball cap, carrying a stack of scripts, looked far more mundane, but was far more animated. "What a performance! Mime, darling! You killed them out there!"

 "Yeah, I should be so lucky," the star muttered moodily, fitting the image. "What's my next role?"

 "Oh yeah, your next role!" The manager pony quickly rifled through the stack before extracting a bundle. "Okay, you'll be playing Captain Lightspeed of the Cosmic Brigade, it's your typical sci-fi action adventure…"

 "Lemme guess. Broad-shouldered pegasus with a lantern jaw, a true blue hero who always saves the girl and always finds a way to overcome adversity, but with a renegade streak who isn't afraid to break regulations and his superior's orders?" Green flames enveloped his body for a moment, leaving behind the exact kind of pony he'd just described, with a blue coat against his blond mane and even wearing an impressively retro red space suit, sans helmet. "Stars above, doctor, it appears… to be a… space anomaly!" he enunciated dramatically.

 "Oh, you are a natural, Mime, a true natural," his manager gushed. "Exactly what they're looking for! I bet you could improvise some of the lines too, you're just that golden."

 "Yeah, well…" His magic flared up again, this time turning the actor into a black-carapaced changeling with green accents. "When do I get to play any interesting roles? Forget the heart throbs and teen idols and action heroes. When can I play, I dunno, a homely but witty book store owner with a failed marriage and hopes for the future? Some witty but natural dialogue instead of cool one-liners, co-actors who act like real ponies instead of props… you know, real stuff."

 "Mime… Mimicry, darling," his manager said. "I'm trying, you know? I'm checking with every writer I can get in touch with, I try pitching to every producer, just in case they wanna give you a chance with it. It's just, you're so goshdarn good at what you do, and it sells, you know? At least it beats starving."

 Mimicry gave it a thought, and grinned. "Yeah, haven't done that since the day I got here." He changed back into the pegasus hero. "Okay, let's see that script. I get to improvise lines, you say?"

 "I don't believe it," Rainbow Dash said, shakily.

 "It was a surprise to us as well," Trixie agreed. "But when you think about it, it seems like a pretty good use of their skills, don't you think?"

 "Not that!" Rainbow protested. "You! Why do you get a film contract after saving Equestria just once? Me and my friends have saved the world like, a, a dozen times--"

 "Bit of an exaggeration, ah think," Applejack interrupted. "Assumin' we're talkin' big events an' you were involved directly, ah'm countin' five."

 "--And nopony's got me a movie role!" Rainbow continued, completely ignoring the interruption. "How's that fair?"

 "Technically, it was a serial, not a movie," Discord corrected.

 "Also, tough it out, girl. We don't always get everything we want," Trixie said. She scowled. "Take it from somepony who knows. It didn't turn out too well, anyway."

 "Now I want to know what happened," Rarity said, curiosity piqued. She was always eager to know about what went down in the big celebrity hotspots, and wouldn't pass up a chance to hear about it from a friend. Or, failing that, Trixie and Discord. "What was the whole piece about?"

 "Glad you asked!" Discord said. He floated over and coiled himself around the high back of her chair. "Basically, it was to be an action-drama-comedy police procedural with heavy supernatural elements. I would be starring as the spirit of chaos and disharmony--"

 "Gee, real challenging role," Gilda said dryly.

 "Well, that's why they asked for the best to play the part," Discord retorted. "Except I had abandoned the position because I was bored, and was instead running a club in Las Pegasus. Or possibly Ponyville, according to some ideas they had. The very crime-ridden, corrupt, steeped in excess and depravity, dark underbelly of Ponyville. Which I can't find, and believe me, I've looked! Best pick is Berry Punch's cellar pub where she puts little umbrellas in your drinks." He looked distant for a moment, before snapping himself back to the topic at hand. "Also, Tirek would show up repeatedly and try to get me to take the old job back. Not the real Tirek, thankfully. Just somepony in a suit. Anyway, all of this changes when a close friend gets murdered."

 Fluttershy gasped. "Not me, surely?"

 "Of course not," he reassured. "It's not relevant now, anyway. So I'm spurred to find Fl-- uh, my friend's murderer, and in the process I cross paths with police detective Lulamoon."

 "Who's a principled cop who's an outcast among her peers because of a bad decision in the past where she offended somepony who everypony else adores, because of course I love getting reminded of my own life," Trixie muttered. "Then we solve the case and find the scumbag whodunnit. And then the snake decides he likes fighting crime, and convinces Trixie's superiors to partner up with her, because apparently 'professional cop/eccentric amateur' team ups are really popular nowadays."

 "Oh, and don't forget the unresolved sexual tension between us, as you become intrigued by my gifts and mystique, and I'm fascinated by your strange ability to resist my powers," Discord said.

 "How would Trixie be able to resist your powers?" Twilight asked. "Or are we not talking about your chaos magic?"

 "No, just my incredible charm and personal magnetism that I'm supposed to have," Discord said humbly.

 "Yes, it's stretching the suspension of disbelief that 'not putting up with his attitude' is supposed to be a supernatural power," Trixie muttered.

 "Okay, I admit that co-starring with Discord would tax anypony's patience," Starlight said. "But was that enough reason to give up a shot at fame?"

 "No, Trixie's dealt with far worse," Trixie said, rolling her eyes. "I hang out with you ponies, for Luna's sake."

 "I kind of backed out first," Discord admitted. "The writers had, shall we say, some funny ideas about what I did with my spare time."

 "Like what?" Rainbow Dash asked. She was curious what Discord could possibly find strange to do.

 "Oh, you know," he said. "The goings-on of ponies and their… carnal interests?"

 Several ponies' eyes widened, and they broke into blushes. Not including Rainbow. "What's that mean?" she asked.

 "Oh, you know, the stuff you dream of doing with your fellow Wonderbolts each night," he elaborated.

 Rainbow looked puzzled. "Flying?"

 "No, no, listen…" He stretched across the table to whisper into her ear, just as Pinkie Pie slipped her a can of soda, which she took a sip from.

 A few whispers later, she spat a mouthful across the table. "Oh Celestia I'm gonna be sick! With you?!"

 "Flattering," Discord muttered. "But yeah, that sort of thing. Nothing explicit, obviously, just lots and lots of implicit in every scene, all the time. Seducing ponies, waking up in beds with a few, dropping mentions of past conquests… I may be an insane being of chaos and strangeness, but you have to draw some lines."

 "Also, we have to stick to the teen rating, so thank you for not spelling things out too much," Pinkie said, glancing upwards worriedly.

 "Maybe not to you," Rainbow muttered. "Twilight, could you wipe my memory or something? Just the last five minutes, thanks."

 "Certainly not!" Twilight protested. "That's far too invasive, and--"

 "On it," Starlight said. Her horn flashed. "How's that?"

 "How's what?" Rainbow asked, confused. "What were we talking about?"

 "Nothing important," Starlight said, ignoring her mentor's angry glare. "I see how awkward that must have been. To you too, Trixie, since you'd be right in the middle of it."

 "What? Since when would Trixie be bothered by being desired?" Trixie asked, confused. "Fair enough, Discord would be a bit weird, but it's all part of being a star. In fact, it can be quite enjoyable."

"Why did we even get into this topic?" Rainbow asked. "Weren't we playing a game just now?"

"So what did get you in a bind about it?" Starlight asked.

 Trixie scowled. "The feathering writing, that's what. Could you guess who got all the good lines? Who got the witty repartées, snappy comebacks, clever remarks?" She pointed accusingly at Discord. "He did! He got to look good practically every scene, while Trixie had to set up his lines and be the butt of his jokes! Well, I'll tell you this. Trixie is the star of the show, Trixie does not play second fiddle, and Trixie is nopony's straight mare!"

 Pinkie nudged Gilda. "Called it! You owe me twenty bits."

 Trixie blinked. "What?"

 Pinkie smiled disarmingly. "Oh, nothing. Nothing. We're just very proud of you for admitting that." To Gilda, she stage whispered, "We should throw her a party to celebrate with later."

 "I think that would piss her off enormously," Gilda stage whispered back. "So I'm all for it."

 "What?" Trixie asked again.

 "Aaaanyway," Discord continued, not-so-subtly interposing himself between Trixie and Pinkie before any future hilarious misunderstandings could be prevented by her figuring out what they were talking about. "At that awkward point, since we both agreed that proceeding would be a mistake, we were trying to figure out the most polite way to turn down their proposal. Or possibly the most dramatic, impressive and scathing way to tell them where to stick their script. Or maybe both. But then the set next door exploded."

"What happened?" Fluttershy asked. "Was anypony hurt?"

 Trixie shook her head. "Don't think so. Turns out they were shooting a cooking show, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders had gotten on set and tried mixing something volatile, and one thing led to another, and… yeah."

 "Hang on a bit," Applejack spoke up. "What the tarnation were the Crusaders doin' in Applewood?"

 "...Participating in a cooking show, obviously," Trixie said, speaking a little slower. "Pay attention already."

 "But they were supposed to go on a field trip to the Whitetail Woods today," Rarity protested.

 "Trixie won't presume to speak for what could or should have been," Trixie huffed. "You'll have to take it up with their teacher."

 "So while everything was on fire - and we were not to blame, this time - we slipped out under the cover of distraction, and decided that a return to Ponyville was in order," Discord continued. "But we missed the train by just a few seconds, so Trixie ordered me to take us home in that domineering way she uses when she forgets that I'm omnipotent and thinks it's a good idea to boss me around."

"Trixie does not forget how powerful you are," Trixie said. "After all, I wouldn't tell you to do things if I didn't know you could do them."

 "Yeeeah…" He smiled wanly. "Good thing you amuse me. Anyway, I complied, hence the flying pigs, although that was probably not what she'd expected - but then, where's the fun in that? And roughly when we crossed over the Ghastly Gorge, Trixie suggested a race. Except we forgot the castle has doors - a lot of them, actually - hence our… unusual finish."

 Silence.

 "Okay then," Twilight said finally. "I suppose this sets the mood for what I had planned. And I actually have every player here now. Except for Sunburst, but his character has excuses, so it works anyway."

 "Ooh, what are we gonna do, Twilight?" Pinkie squealed excitedly. "What are we gonna do?"

 "Remember that 'Teen Ponies From Outer Space' campaign we played?" Twilight said.

 "Aww yeah, it's about time!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. The others chimed in with agreement. "We were fighting pirates, right?"

 "I recall talking to a disembodied head," Starlight pointed out.

 "Ooh, did we ever catch Parippa the Ripper, the Canterlot Cereal Ciller?" Pinkie asked excitedly.

 "Yes, yes, and that never happened," Twilight said. She made a note of it. "Yet. But thanks for the idea. Point is, I'm not entirely clear on what we'd done and what I was planning, so I'll need to prepare and rewrite a bit. But to help get us in the mood again, I have prepared something fun." She took out a stack of papers from a folder. "Extra-Equestrial student immigration forms!"

 "What's that now?" Applejack asked.

 "And how's paperwork supposed to be fun?" Gilda said. "You'd have to be a total dweeb to enjoy that and-- oh yeah, forgot who we were talking to."

 "Funny," Twilight deadpanned. "Anyway, when your characters came to Equestria, you had to fill out these for official reasons, with all sorts of informative information. By which I mean… well, you'll see."

 "Spoiler alert, I helped her and Spike write them," Pinkie enthused.

 "Yes, she did," Twilight said, as Spike delivered the forms to everyone. "And yes, it was a very taxing evening. So now you get to fill them out retroactively. Should be fun."

 "Hang on there, Twi," Applejack said. "Mah character's from Equestria an' not an alien. Don't that make me exempt? Why would I get a form?"

 "Bureaucratic oversight," Spike said as he passed by. "Happens all the time."

 "Yes, I'm afraid that you received one that was intended for an exchange student who cancelled, because…" Twilight paused.

 "He grandfather-paradoxed himself out of existence," Spike suggested.

 "Thank you, Spike," Twilight said. "That's right. But Crimson Tape's name got on the form due to a mishap when the universe tried to correct for paradox, so you still have to fill it out, or risk trouble."

 "Fair enough. Crimson's too rule-bound ta try ta weasel out anyhow," Applejack conceded. "Just outta curiosity, what kinda trouble?"

 "Deportation is standard," Twilight said. "Or community service. Or deportation and then community service at the place you got deported to. Probably a lot of messy planets out there with a lot of litter to pick up. Black holes too, full of garbage."

 "Uh-huh. Good thing I know better than ta break the rules, then," Applejack observed carefully.

 "Let's see…" Starlight mused, looking over her form. "Name: Libra. Species: Hmm… bipolar."

 "Is that their name, or their main trait?" Trixie asked.

 "Maybe both," Starlight replied. "Eyes: one white, one black. Greeble grubs: ...what the hay are those?"

 "Make something up, I guess?" Trixie observed dubiously. "Hmm, Ego rating: twenty. Fashion no-no: socks in sandals, eugh. Age: two point four billion years. Hot Or Not: totally hot."

 "What's an albedo, and how should I measure it?" Fluttershy asked.

 "Just pick a fraction between zero and one and it's fine," Pinkie said before looking back at her own form. "Unusual dietary habits: yes. Limbs: seven, of which two are retractable and one is inflatable…"

 "Notable felonies? Hmm…" Rarity considered for a moment, before writing hurriedly. "Conquered the Fields of Shag, enslaved the native lava ponies and trapped them in fancy glass lamps as decoration. And no, Diva's not feeling guilty about it."

 "Mass: a hundred and twenty space-pounds. Luminosity: extra bright. Maximum velocity…" Rainbow Dash considered the question. "Currently not established, 'cause I can always go faster. Non-combat accessories: cool shades."

 "Psychic level: max," Gilda filled in. "Slaw level: hardcore with no respawns. Mall level: five. Cow level: no. Favorite food: ...Equestria."

 "Hey, I called dibs!" Pinkie protested.

 "First come, first serve!" Gilda laughed.

 "Preferred use of the appendix: reference illustrations an' lengthy charts fer the reader's benefit," Applejack noted down.

 "Preferred use of the appendix: converting carbon into toys for deprived orphans," Discord noted.

 "Um, since when could Random Act do that?" Fluttershy asked.

 Discord shrugged. "He can't, since he's a normal pony. But if he could, he would, because he's such a nice guy, you know?"

 "Primary ambition: revealing to everypony what Random Act is trying ta pull…" Applejack muttered.

Session 65.9 Trooper924, SomeRandomMinion, BrutalityInc

Diamond Tiara is dressed for war, her armor gleaming in the daylight. She glared intensely at the opposite side of the field, where even now, their enemies are preparing, like they are, waiting for the moment to strike…

"Sweetie, it's just a paintball match. I think you might be taking this a little too seriously." Filthy Rich said, interjecting into the scene.

Diamond Tiara groaned. "Daaaaad, it's not just a paintball match--it's the paintball match! The ultimate showdown to decide who's the supreme paintball champion of Ponyville!"

Filthy taps his daughter's helmet, making a slight *clank* noise.

"Even a championship match doesn't need metal combat armor, sweetie." Filthy Rich commented, "And besides, you forgot your goggles... Now please, stop being silly."

Diamond Tiara snorted, and points her hoof to the other side, the colts team. Said colts team just happens to be also wearing metal armor for the match, and looking grim, serious and determined like their honor - and everything else - is at stake.

"You were saying?"

Filthy balked at the display... then sigh with relief when he saw the foals did, indeed, ONLY wield paintball guns. He gave his daughter a worried look.

"I guess you aren't the only one taking this so seriously... PLEASE remember to HAVE FUN, alright? It's just bragging rights on the line, okay?"

Diamond Tiara nodded, "Okay, daddy. This will be fun!"

Just then, all across the fillies' lines, a bugle is blown, followed by a symphony of whistle-blowing.

"Sorry, daddy - no time to talk! The match's starting!" She takes out an officer's whistle, and blows it, immediately rallying all the fillies under her command, "Come on, you sissies! Do you want to live forever?!"

Drawing a foam-saber and roaring an epic war-cry, Diamond Tiara climbed out of the trenches and charges across the field, followed by every filly under her command and the fillies all across the fillies' trench line. Soon the air was filled with the sound of paintball guns firing, as well as the whistle and pops of firework rockets flying over the battle-zone and raining down upon both sides of the battle.

Filthy Rich was left to gawk at the carnage.

"Well, it can't get any stranger..."

A mechanical roar caught Filthy Rich's attention. He looked into the distance....to behold a rhomboid, tracked vehicle * rolling over a hill from the colts' lines, several large firehoses poking out from firing ports arrayed all along its hull, spewing paint in several bright colors at the charging fillies. Colts rally behind the machine, using it as cover as it slowly plods along and over the outer trenches....

Filthy pulls out a small metal flask and takes a sip. "It's waaay too early in the morning for this."

* http://tank-photographs.s3-website-eu-west-1.amazonaws.com/ww1-german-Strumpanzerwagen-a7v-tank-replica-bovington.jpg

Session 65.10 Kendell2

"Something seems really fishy about this..." said Sunset Shimmer as the group were in line to sign up for the trial run of the Heroes of Crystal MOBA. "The Sirens are...the Sirens..."

"But we destroyed their crystals, what can they do now?" Rainbow Dash questioned. "Besides, this game sounds just plain awesome."

"I know, but I still don't trust them..." Sunset muttered, keeping an eye on them. "I'm going to check just to be on the safe side..."

Adagio signed up another player (which in her mind translated to victim) for the MOBA, watching the humane seven out of the corner of her eyes. "Thanks for signing up. Good luck becoming the Hero of Crystal," she replied with a wink. "I'll be routing for you, and I don't say that to everypony."

After they left, Sonata looked to her. "Yes you do-ow!"

Adagio saw the group approach. "Sonata, I have to go to the rest room, take over," she replied, getting up and giving her the chair.

Rainbow Dash was quick to sign up when she came. "Aww yeah! This is awesome!"

Sunset went to grab the pen...and 'accidentally' knocked it off the table. "Oops, can you get that for me?"

"Sure!" Sonata called, ducking down and grabbing it. "Here you go!" she said.

"Thank you," Sunset replied, making sure to touch Sonata's hand when she grabbed it.

Sunset blinked, standing in the middle of a huge world made of tacos that was also underwater. And all of that looking like it was filtered through Pinkie Pie.

"You okay?" asked Sonata.

Sunset shook her head. "Uh...yeah..." she said, signing up and moving on.

"What'd you see?" asked human Twilight.

"Tacos...so many tacos..."

Adagio watched on, chuckling. "Knew Sonata was good for something..."

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 65.0 Mtangalion
Session 65.1 Kendell2
Session 65.2 QuartzScale
Session 65.3 Alex Warlorn
Session 65.4 Kendell2
Session 65.5 Mtangalion and QuartzScale
Session 65.6 Alex Warlorn
Session 65.7 Alex Warlorn
Session 65.8 Mooncalf99 (with one paragraph added)
Session 65.9 Trooper924, SomeRandomMinion, BrutalityInc
Session 65.10 Kendell2

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Picture by RobD2003, used with permission. https://alexwarlorn.deviantart.com/art/PND-Alternate-party-328300064

Session 66 (movie spoilers)

Session 66.0 Mtangalion

This started as a lead-in to something else, and kind of became it's own thing along the way. :)

"Special delivery!" shouted Derpy, giving the world a bright and sunny grin, even as she struggled to carry a massive bundle of twine-wrapped packages the last hundred yards to Princess Twilight's castle. She tried to fly the bundle directly through an open upstairs window, but it was too big, thumping against the frame. Derpy flew back and tried again with the bundle turned sideways, but it jammed in place only halfway through.

Sweetie Belle trotted up to the window from the inside. "Cool, the new games are here! Just hold that still and I'll help!" She lit her horn and started pulling packages out of the bundle, stacking them inside.

Unfortunately, the removed packages made the rest of Derpy's load unbalanced, and she lurched to the left. "Whooooa!" Derpy pumped her wings harder. "It's okay! I've got it!" Everything started to tumble to the right instead. "I don't got it!"

There was a swoosh and a bird-of-prey shriek, and Gilda seized hold of the bundle, saving Derpy from getting buried under her own delivery. "I can't believe ponies send this many new games to be blessed by the ‘Princess of Gaming.'" Gilda smirked, rolling her eyes. "You know, you should make two trips. I'm way stronger than you... er, I mean... griffons can lift more, and even I'd make an extra trip."

They brought the rest of the books inside, and Derpy giggled. "Heh, that *was* the second delivery."

The Crusaders dug into the packages like it was Hearth's Warming Day. "Will ya look at all this stuff," said Apple Bloom. "Fifty-seven boxes worth this time!"

Sweetie Belle dug through a sea of packing peanuts and pulled out a plushie of... Rarity, dressed as an O&O Sorceress. "Our big sisters are toys now?"

"Wouldn't be the first time." Apple Bloom wiped the packing peanuts off a plushie of Big Mac as Sir McBiggun. "Heh, big brothers, too."

Then they noticed that Scootaloo was hugging a plushie of Rainbow Dash the O&O Barbarian. Scoots blinked and quickly hid the plushie behind herself. "They're not toys! They're... valuable collector's items!"

Meanwhile, Derpy made a check on her delivery clipboard. "Whew! Thanks for saving me, Gilda!" She offered a muffin to the griffon, beaming.

Gilda took a half-step back. "Whoa, way too sappy." She darted away and returned with a clawsant for Derpy. "There, now we can swap."

Of course, that wasn't enough for Garble the griffon fledgling, who scampered over and mimed stuffing his face with muffins. "Nom, nom! Oh, they're so yummy!" he squeaked, imitating Gilda. "You simply must tell me your muffin recipe, because I'm not tough at all and I love lame pony stuff like baking!"

Gilda winced, tail lashing. "Shut up! I don't sound like that."

"But, Gilda!" said Garble with feigned innocence. "I'm just helping you practice for when you and your new boyfriend hatch an egg into an adorable little brat *just like me!*"

"Why you..." Gilda advanced on him, snarling.

"Ah, ah, ah!" Garble leered at her beak-to-beak. "You wouldn't hurt a cute widdle baby griffon, would you?"

Gilda selected a plushie of Applejack the O&O Bard from the delivery pile and bonked Garble over the head with it. Then she tore a strip off the muffin Derpy had given her, chewing. "Oh, hey. These *are* pretty good."

Session 66.1 redsopine

As Minuette, Lemon Hearts, Twinkle Shine, and Lyra rushed back outside to Bon Bon, they heard a scream and pleads for mercy from the stallion who fled before before his pleas were cut short as they saw him flying into a wall with a sickening crunch. Lyra rushed to Bon Bon and tried to wake her up, but Bon Bon was dazed. Lyra quickly picked her up in her hooves and placed Bon Bon on her back.

*Come on, girls!" she called before she started descending the ladder the others rushing to follow.

They suddenly heard someone shout "There's the beast!" Suddenly, the sounds of fighting were heard along with a bone chilling laughter before one of the locals that was perusing them slamed into the building they left.

A voice said "You gotta love the hunt its great combat training." A stallion garbed in a old trench coat and a stetson walked towards the one that was thrown, a odd looking item in he's left hoof and a saw in his right. He pressed a foot to the stallions chest and placed the object to his head before with a bang a hole appeared on the now dead townsfolk head "So you ladies the noobs that got the unfinished beta copy." He got a look and walked to the centre of the small area, the others giving him a wide berth as he placed a hoof to the center. A strange lamp rose up with these ghostly ghoul things around it. "Just touch the lamp and think of the hunters dream all will be explained there's ladies," he said as he touched the lamp and vanished in a stream of light as the rest look back towards Lyra and noticed she's missing.

Session 66.2 Kendell2

"Girls?" asked Fluttershy as they prepared for the MOBA trial. "Does anyone else notice that everybody is acting a bit..."

"We're gonna beat your score!" Apple Bloom called.

"Uh huh, we're going to beat you!" Diamond Tiara yelled back, the two groups looking very competitive and practically literally butting heads.

Snips and Snails were nearby, having an argument with the diamond dogs over similar things (as it turned out collectible gems were yet another aspect of the game, which unlocked power ups. There seemed to be a good number of such things).

Trixie, being Trixie, was bragging her head off.

Similar squabbles and bragging broke out throughout the hall were preparations were going on.

"Rude?" Fluttershy finished. "Do you think the Sirens got their powers back somehow?"

"It's MOBA, darling," Rarity committed. "Online gaming in general can invoke this kind of thing."

"Trixie will win!" Trixie exclaimed.

"No, I'LL win!" Rainbow Dash yelled, the two getting in each other's faces.

"Still, I can't help thinking the Sirens are up to something..." Sunset replied. "Then again, knowing Adagio, she might WANT us to think they're up to something and freak out..."

"But what if she WANTS us to think that and really IS planning something?" Pinkie Pie asked. "...I don't know, I just wanted involved."

"I just wish everybody would remember this is a TEAM sport," human Twilight remarked. "I don't think I've heard one person planning to be a healer."

"I'm going to be a healer," Fluttershy commented.

"Except you," she replied. "Healers ARE important parts of any party, without one your entire team could get wiped, but no one seems to care."

"Probably because the worse others do, the better they do, darling," Rarity replied. "...Sweetie Belle tried playing a few MOBAs and I had to console her after...in retrospect I shouldn't have let her play this."

"Well WE can still play as a team even if everybody else doesn't," Applejack replied. "It's what we do best..." she said, then watched the continuing back and forth bragging between Trixie and Rainbow Dash. "...Mostly."

"Alright girls, remember, we're going to be using the autotune at first, but as soon as I finish completing our little jewel, we'll be able to sing for ourselves and start making things even better..." Adagio said with a smirk as she held the incomplete jewel, the three in fitting dresses for their ingame characters. However, to the people through the VR patches, they'd appear as the Sirens from the game. Adagio had even went through the effort of programming in upgraded forms for them.

"Sounds good to me," Aria replied with a smirk. "So when will those losers start upgrading?"

"About that time as well. The spell is written into the game, but needs our magic to activate..." Adagio replied. "But don't worry, they'll get used to it LONG before then. You see, I included a little feature where they can use magic gathered from defeated enemies to activate a temporary powered up stat. Of course they're going to abuse the heck out of it as players tend to do...of course, plot twist, each time it's used, the hidden corruption stat increases. By the time our powers fully awaken, it will be ripe for us to use OUR special attack..."

"Oh! Can I name it?!" Sonata asked.

"I already did, Sonata," Adagio growled. "It will start the transformation of anyone with a maxed out corruption stat."

"So in other words, the hairless apes are pretty much putting the spell on themselves without even knowing it?" Aria asked with a smirk.

"Exactly," Adagio said with her normal chuckle.

Session 66.3 Alex Warlorn

In the Human World

Miss Cheerilee greeted her home room class. "Alright everyone, please hand in your homework to the desk in front of you and we can-"

That was when the CMC barged into the classroom, wearing the VR eyepatches. "Monster out break!" The little girls cried out as they began attack virtual monsters from beyond.

Miss Cheerilee was red in the face. "GIRLS! This is unacceptable! I'll be taking those and you can march yourselves right to... the ... principles's... office?"

Cheerilee was left a gasped and bewildered as her students all quickly slapped on the VR eye patches.

"No way you're beating us to the kill!" Shouted one of the male students.

Cheerilee fell to her knees in dismay.

-

The bus driver was bewildered as a silver haired girl leapt onto the bus just as the door closed, wearing those weird video game monocles that had become all the rage overnight. A couple other teenager angrily shouting as the bus drove away.

"THE BEAST SHALL BE SLAIN BY TRIXIE ALONE!" She said she began fighting invisible monsters or something on the bus.

-

"HEY! The park is public! You can't keep us out!" Shouted Babs Seed. Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara right behind her.

"Sorry twerp, we're camping this spawn point," Said Indigo Zapp with the other Shadow Bolts.

"You have to sleep some time!" Diamond Tiara said.

-

"I'm very sorry to hear that Miss Celestia," Company Vice President Chrysalis said, after Radiant Hope had pawned the call off on her, "The random encounter spawn points are chosen by a algorithm, we had no idea your school would become one of the hot points." 'Why couldn't that little brat Cadence's school have gotten hit by spawn points instead?! It would be worth it just to see her squirm.'

Session 66.4 Alex Warlorn

"Okay... let me get this straight." Bon Bon groaned. "We just played through ten or twenty of this Mission to Mares game, having to cannibalize each other, and STILL not make it... mostly cause the ship seems DETERMINED to self destruct in the most convoluted manner imaginable, until we finally arrive, to find out the signal that we were sent to find was our own distress call after coming in contact with an alien artifact... AND THEN! We play twenty more games... and the 'better' hidden ending the enchanted game board shows us for all four of us making it to Mares... is us blowing ourselves up instead of sending a distress signal?... The Tartarus?!"

"Come on girls it wasn't that... right girls?" Moon Dancer defended, having been the one to suggest the game.

"I say we get the Elements of Harmony and banish the game to Mares." Lemon Hearts snorted.

Session 66.5 Mtangalion

"I'm late, I'm late!" Juniper Montage rushed into the MOBA convention hall at CrystalCon, and her face immediately fell, looking at the long line of people still waiting to register and get their special launch edition VR eyepatch. "Aw... Well, at least I'm not the only one."

A pink-skinned woman had walked in right beside Juniper, wearing a gray coat with the collar turned up to hide her face and purple hair somewhat. The odd woman noticed her. "Hello there!" she said brightly, pulling out a stack of papers. "Can I interest you in a flier? I'm trying to raise awareness of overcompetitive games like this one, and how they can seriously damage a community's social fabric with..."

Juniper blinked. "Starlight? Starlight Glimmer?"

The purple-haired woman froze, then laughed nervously. "Um, yes. That's me."

Juniper grinned. "Wow. I wasn't really expecting to see you again... and here of all places! She took one of the fliers and started to read it. "What did you say this was about?" When she glanced up to ask a question, Starlight had already moved on.

Starlight was marching towards an orange, blonde-haired girl, frowning mildly at her Stetson. "Hello, can I..."

"Howdy, Starlight!" the girl said cheerfully. "Back again so soon?"

While Starlight was still standing there, gobsmacked, a pink girl with even pinker cotton candy curls stumbled past, wearing eye patches on both eyes. "Hi, Starlight!"

A nerdy purple girl was chasing after the pink one. "Pinkie, that's not how you're supposed to..." She did a double-take. "Oh! Welcome back, Starlight!"

"What... How do you..." Starlight started backing up, torn between demanding an explanation and making an excuse to get the heck out of here, and her gaze happened to fall upon the girl's CrystalCon badge.

Twilight Sparkle. Faithful Student { Elements of Harmony }.

Starlight slapped her forehead. "I'm an idiot. I went to all the trouble of coming to a CrystalCon and I never thought..." Now Twilight was the one looking confused. "Come on, you knew my name, Faithful Student. It's me! Equal Rites!" She grinned, waggling a finger. "How *did* you guys find out my real name?"

Twilight felt deja vu smack her like a crowbar to the face. Or maybe it was some kind of reverse or backwards deja vu, or maybe... but that wasn't important right now. "Hey, girls!" Twilight stammered in a loud and awkward voice. "Guess who I bumped into! You won't believe it... It's Starlight Glimmer! You know, the *friend* we made in *World of Horsecraft*, the one that's a *human* and not a *pony* like her character Equal Rites! Ha, haha!"

Sunset Shimmer ruffled Twilight's hair. "Real smooth, Sparkle." She looked Starlight over, and extended a hand. "And, I guess it's good to meet you for the first time... this is the first time, right?"

Starlight shook her hand cautiously. "And I thought you girls were strange in the game..."

Session 66.6 Kendell2

Sci-Twilight, playing as a Princess Luna (a skill class by the game's rules) covered Applejack (Rockhoof, a legendary paragon of strength in the game's mythos, and a power class) as she fought the monsters. Fluttershy (playing as Radiant Hope, a healer) focused on healing.

Rarity was likewise a Princess Luna and helping with cover while Sunset was playing as a Princess Celestia (she appreciated the irony of it, it was also a power class with lots of magical destructive power, though a little lower in terms of defense) and was their main tank other than Applejack.

"Okay, so far we're doing well as a team..." said Sunset...then sighed as Rainbow Dash, playing as a Commander Hurricane, just went Leeroy Jenkins into the monsters attacking them. "...Mostly..."

"If only we weren't the ONLY ones..." muttered Sci-Twi as she watched players backstab each other and kill-steal left and right.

The Diamond Dogs and Snips and Snails had almost come to blows and where only stopped by con staff warning them they'd be booted out if they did. Of course some of the fighting had spilled out into places OTHER than the hall and things were getting a bit out of hoof.

"BOSS INCOMING!" announced the gamemaster.

Suddenly, shadows condensed before them, assuming the form of Nightmare Moon. "The Night Shall Last Forever!" she announced (though the scan Sci-Twi did revealed in lore it was a 'temporal duplicate' or something).

The hall continued to try and swarmed the boss to get the killing blow, the boss, as one would expect, being pretty dang hard and giving Fluttershy a LOT of work (even though she was in their party, she was still the ONLY healer on the floor)...when smoke rose from a nearby platform and up rose Sonata from the floor, appearing in their VR patches as her siren form.

"Hello everypony! Time for special event number one! Remember, if you want the special prize you'd better get the kill first and before I stop!" she called in a cheery voice. She then took a breath, autotune kicking in.

= Kokoro no Sukima World - Zyuden Sentai Kyoryuger =

"Ii ko butte bakari de nandaka tsukarechau desho?
Majime chan ni shiteireba nantoka tensuu toreru shi
Dakedo hontou wa unzari, gakkuri, donyori sonna toki
Kurayami omoidashi na yo! Sonata sung in rather good Japanese, the song being surprisingly upbeat and happy as the lights went wild.

"She knows Japanese?!" asked Applejack.

"I'm not surprised given how long they've been around," Sunset replied, noting everyone's stats had gotten a pretty big buff. "Also she's Sonata, she's an evil version of Pinkie Pie."

"At least it's cheery!" Pinkie Pie called (currently changing her selected character via the random option every few minutes) dancing to it.

"Dore dore mimimoto ni
Sotto fukikonde agemasho
Usotsuki gizensha wa
Son bakka suru mon sa!" Sonata continued singing.

"Also, I know Japanese," Sci-Twi replied, shooting Nightmare Moon at a distance. She had several people yell at her for trying to camp and steal the kill in response. "She just sang "Let me whisper right into your ear. Words to make your troubles just disappear. But they're all hypocrisy and lies. Leading you right to your demise..."

"Oh..." Pinkie Pie muttered.

Trixie burst back into the hall after taking her detour. "The Great and Powerful Trixie will kill it first!" she called, charging as a Princess Luna.

"Hitohana patto saki na kuroi hana
Wakuwaku suru takurami ni nara
Dondon janjan waruchie ga waku
Kokoro no sukima no world," continued Sonata as attacks rained into the boss and she danced on stage.

Sunset decided to get in and blast the with a fire spell, but RAINBOW DASH pushed her out of the way and hit it with lightning instead. "Rainbow!"

"Sorry, but I'm getting that prize!"

"Ahaha atama no neji suppori hazurechimaeba
Ihihi inchiki zanmai nan ni mo teikou naku naru
Ufufu Un to ka en to ka chakkari, kossori sou yatte
Yo no naka mawatteru darou"

Trixie jumped onto a box, shooting several magic spells at the boss from range, then blinked, noticing her 'Hyper Mode bar had charged up to max.

"Sora sora kachigumi ni
Ichiban ni naritai desho
Shosen wa keotoshite
Kanaeteiku mon sa," Sonata continued, dancing...but giving a small smirk as Trixie pressed the projected button to activate said mode.

From everyone's VR projection, Trixie's Luna avatar was surrounded by magical water, emerging in dark blue armor with water tentacles trailing her. She started shooting huge spells at Nightmare Moon, taking out considerable pieces of its health.

"Mushamusha patto kurae kuroi hana
Tamashii wa nanbo de urimasho
Dareka no fukou wa mitsu no aji
Kokoro no sukima no world," Sonata continued singing, watching and getting an approving nod from Adagio.

"How do I do that?!" asked Rainbow Dash.

"It was in the manual," said Sci-Twi. "But I wouldn't trust it, the wording-"

Rainbow shot a few more times and filled hers, pressing it without a second thought.

"Sore sore mata hitori
Sotto fukikonde agemasho
Usotsuki gizensha wa
Eraku mo nai sa tte!" Sonata sang, watching several players do the exact same thing, their in game selves all getting similar armor and powered up attacks.

"What?" Sunset asked Sci-Twi.

"The book said it was a 'mysterious power' not well understood that just showed up when this mess started," she replied. "I wouldn't spam it, that's pretty cryptic language."

"Mushamusha patto kurae kuroi hana
Tamashii wa nanbo de urimasho
Dareka no fukou wa mitsu no aji
Kokoro no sukima no..."

Trixie finally maxed out her special gauge and let loose Luna's ultimate attack, a huge beam of moonlight down from the sky, smashing into the boss and depleting its health all the way. Nightmare Moon fell over and exploded into HP. "The Great and Powerful Trixie has bested this beast!" she called, the ones around her grumbling and showing jealousy and anger.

"Hitohana patto saki na kuroi hana
Wakuwaku suru takurami ni nara
Dondon janjan waruchie ga waku
Kokoro no sukima no world!" finished Sonata. "Congratulations! Enjoy your prize! It's not tacos, but Adagio says it's as good!"

Trixie 'held up' her prize (in VR anyway), a sword shaped like ocean waves with a red gem in the center. "Everybody, behold Trixie's greatness!"

Rainbow Dash grumbled. "No fair, I would've gotten the kill if she hadn't gotten that ult'!"

"How's I do?" asked Sonata, skipping back into the room with her sisters.

"Good," Adagio replied, watching green miasma only they could see snake its way into her incomplete amulet. She smirked and checked the corruption stat. "And that Trixie kid got the sword..."

"Ugh, but did you have to do something so cutesy?" asked Aria with a groan.

"Oh, it wasn't," Adagio replied. "I translated the lyrics, it's about destruction, evil, and being a horrible person. It just sounds cutesy on the surface. Kind of Sonata's entire existence in song form."

Sonata just giggled. "Nah, there'd be tacos in it!"

"And twice as annoying..." muttered Aria. "This is why we don't let you write our lyrics Sonata!"

"But the corruption values have gone up quite a bit," Adagio replied with a chuckle. "You'll be up next Aria, knock 'em dead...if you don't we will by the end."

OOC: For those wondering, here are the lyrics to Sonata's song translated (did not write it, I can't write Japanese):

You're done pretending to be good you're getting so fed up it's all such a chore
Just keep your head down and play nice so they say to build up some make-pretend score
Sometimes you wanna be rude and wanna be mean and say so much more
Ain't that what the devil on your shoulder's for?

Let me whisper right into your ear
Words to make your troubles just disappear
But they're all hypocrisy and lies
Leading you right to your demise

So take the plunge into dark, and let those black flowers grow
You'll be surprised when the evil inside lets you know
All the fun, all the vile, schemes are waiting for their start
In the depths of the world in the cracks of your heart

A-ha-ha, accept the appeal of antagonizing and turn your screw loose
Bwee-hee-hee. behold as beguiling becomes the best choice you have no excuse
C-see-see, complaining chance and circumstance are to blame they're tightening the noose
Don't you see that they're what give the world its use?

Everyone just wants to be the best
Number one, and better than all the rest
If you wanna make that dream come true
Annihilation's right for you!

All those black flowers you've bloomed, we're gonna swallow them whole!
Why set a price when it's so easy to sell your soul?
Oh the taste, of your pain, it's so delicious and tart
In the depths of the world in the cracks of my heart

Watch another victim drawing near
Let me make your troubles just disappear
All my words hypocrisy and lies
Being evil is its own prize!

All those black flowers you've bloomed, we're gonna swallow them whole!
Why set a price when it's so easy to sell your soul?
Oh the taste, of your pain, it's so delicious and tart
In the depths of the world in the cracks...

So take the plunge into dark, and let those black flowers grow
You'll be surprised when the evil inside lets you know
All the fun, all the vile, schemes are waiting for their start
In the depths of the world in the cracks of our hearts

Session 66.7 Ardashir

Meanwhile, back in the Friendship Palace in Ponyville, Spike, Big Mac, and Discord were getting ready for their weekly game. Big Mac was setting out the treats as Spike arranged his papers. They bore his own usual cover art of the trio saving a purple-maned unicorn from that perennial evildoer, the Squizzard.

Discord groaned at the sight.

"Oh, why can't we try something different for once?" Discord sniffed as he conjured his usual glass of chocolate milk out of nowhere. He drained it off from the bottom up and tossed it away. When it exploded, the bang coming before the light of the blast, he grinned. "Whoopsie! I have to remember not to do that! Hmm, what's this one?"

He jerked his claw back as Spike slapped the cardboard box titled Regent back down.

"Forget it!" Spike set the box away. "I saw what Trixie, Twilight, and Starlight did once when playing this." He shuddered. "It was almost as bad as that time with the 'coffee' stuff from Sunset's new home. Never again!"

"Sounds like a story to me," Discord said in an eager tone. "Tell me what they did, my little scaly friend. I'm all ears, heh." He turned into a mass of ears from dozens of species.

Spike looked like he sought an escape, and then sighed.

"Fine. It was a few weeks ago..."

"Trixie!" Twilight folded her forelegs and glared at the pale blue unicorn. Trixie looked aggrieved as the Princess of Friendship said, "I wonder if you get the idea of this game? You can't develop your nation very well if the first thing you have every new town you establish do is to build a giant statue of yourself!"

"They are public works projects, building the morale of Trixie's citizenry!" Trixie sniffed, trying to look what she apparently thought royals ought to look like. "Trixie is sure her subjects want to be reminded their Great and Beloved Princess Trixie is watching over them. Forever."

"Uh, Trixie?" Starlight broke in on the megalomaniac mare's fantasizing. "Even when I ran Our Town, I didn't insist on my citizens being reminded of me all the time." She looked at Twilight. "Twi can probably tell you more of what's involved in running a nation. Isn't your family part of the oppressor -- I mean! Part of the aristocracy?" Starlight grinned, looking nervous.

"I caught the first word," Twilight gave her a dirty look.

Trixie jumped back into the conversation.

"It keeps ponies off the streets and gives them something noble and uplifting to do with their lives. Besides, who is it who built a five-star library in every town, and forgot to add granaries and cisterns?" Trixie looked at Twilight, who reddened along with Starlight. "And who refused to allow their loyal citizens to build any home bigger than the basic house?"

"I'm teaching them to avoid elitism!" Starlight picked up the tiny model of a bare-bones home. "This way nopony can claim they have a worse home than anypony else; or do you think it's right for silly nobles like Blueblood to waste so much wealth on houses so big an entire village could live in them?"

"What about the palace 'your' Princess lives in?" Trixie pointed at an illusion on Starlight's part of the board, of a large columned mansion. "What do you call that?"

"Should the beloved leader of the nation live in a shack?..."

"They were off and running after that," Spike shuddered. Next to him, Big Mac set down a plate of pastries. "I'm surprised they didn't wake up all of Ponyville." He looked at the plate and froze. Beside it was a steaming cup of that drink Sunset brought through the mirror. "Big Mac, are you sure this is safe?"

"Eee-yup," the mellow stallion sat down, taking a sip of the drink. "Miz Twilight tole Applejack an she tole me how after thet whole mess, she gave th' strong stuff to th' Palace." On the other side of the table, Discord warily drank the coffee. For a moment he looked like he was wearing Accord's bowler and monocle before he spat it back out in disgust. Big Mac said, "How much trouble can it cause there?"

The three shuddered as a wild laugh rang through the room.

They turned and saw Celestia standing there, her mane and tail turned to flames and her eyes glowing embers.

"GREETING MY LOYAL SUBJECTS, AND DISCORD!" She said in a roar like heated metal tearing. She pranced closer, her hooves leaving flaming prints in the floor. "BY ANY CHANCE DO YOU KNOW WHERE TWILIGHT HAS ANY MORE OF SUNSET'S LOVELY LOVELY GIFT? BECAUSE I NEED MORE OF IT RIGHT FLAMING NOW!"

Session 66.8 Grogar-the-oneser

"Maybe this won't end badly," Big Mac suggested.

3 hours later

Princess Twilight made gagging noises as she saw half of her castle on fire while a singed Big Mac boarded a window.

"Here, use this to bind the door," an equally singed Discord said.

"Chains! You think chains can bind the alicorn who controls the sun!?!" Spike snapped.

"I'll have you know these chains are the same kind that held frigging Prometheus down as that vulture ate his liver!" Discord snapped.

"Whose Prometheus!" Spike snapped as Discord rolled his eyes but before he could say anything they heard mad laughter from inside the castle.

"MORE COFFEE!" Celestia's voice boomed inside the castle followed by an insane cackle.

Session 66.9 Mtangalion

Gabby was literally bouncing in place by the time she and Gilda got to the front of the line and claimed their VR eyepatches. "Sheesh, kid, settle down," said Gilda. "You know we can't be in the main competition, right?" She tapped the CrystalSoft Employee sticker on her badge.

"Huh? Who cares about the MOBA?" Gabby grinned and pointed to a side hall, where a bunch of eyepatch-wearing folks were leaning back and forth with their arms outstretched. The wall monitor behind them showed their pegasus, griffon, and thestral characters flying in a wild aerial race. "I'm playing that!" Gabby took off running across the convention hall.

"Aw, such a shame you can't compete," said Aria, sitting behind the registration desk. "I'm sure you'd be a top contender." She took Gilda's hand without asking and inhaled deeply. "There's something almost... magical about you."

Gilda snatched her hand back. "Eh, rules are rules."

Adagio stroked her chin. "You know, we were going to add some human-controlled superbosses later to spice things up, but oh, wouldn't you know it? The person who was going to operate them came down with something."

"Huh!?" exclaimed Sonata. "But I feel fine..." Aria elbowed her in the stomach. "Urk! Not so fine..."

Gilda perked up. "Yeah, really? Sounds like a good time. Sign me up!"

As Gilda was walking away from the desk, instructions and access codes in hand, a pink girl with purple hair came rushing up to her. "Gilda, good! You're here too! I have a bad feeling about this game. I mean, more than I did already."

Gilda raised an eyebrow. "And... who are you that I should care?"

The pink girl groaned. "Oh, right... It's me, Starlight! Equal Rites! We're in the same guild together."

"What, no fooling?" Now the voice clicked. It still made Gilda grin, remembering the time that Equal Rites had helped her and Dash grow their characters as big as houses with that potion bug. "You should have told us you were coming."

"Yes... yes, I should have." Starlight wrung her hands. "But about this MOBA..."

Gilda patted Starlight's shoulders. "Relax. I'm in CrystalSoft's QA department. If there was any shady stuff in that game, I'd definitely know about it."

Fifty feet away, Aria entered "LOAD ‘ShadyStuff.dll', 8, 1" on her laptop, and the interface flashed blood red.

"Seriously, I'm worried about Twilight and the others," said Starlight. "I really don't think you should play."

"Indeed, you should spare yourselves the humiliation!"

Gilda turned and was surprised to see Alisa, that wierdo diamond wolf cosplay girl from the last CrystalCon. She was holding the arm of the guy who'd spoken, Blueblood according to his con badge.

"We've been analyzing the strategies of all the first round players," boasted Blueblood, jerking a thumb towards the big monitor. "It appears that Trixie has taken an early lead, but once we deal with her in round 2..."

Alisa flashed a predatory grin. "Nobody will be stopping us!"

Gilda watched them go, tisking. "Once I get those superboss powers, I know exactly who I'm gonna oneshot first."

Session 66.10 Grogar-the-oneser

"BWAHAHAHA!" Discord cackled after Fluttershy told him her story about why she missed tea time with him.

"What so funny?" Fluttershy question.

"I'm sorry it just... Zecora been living for how long in the Everfree forest and she didn't realize that plant nor it causing swamp-fever." Discord cackled. "That the stupidest thing I've heard."

"Yes its much like how a chaos deity live for a long time yet had no idea of the Tatzlwurm or it being the only known creature that can actually poison him," Fluttershy stated.

Discord stop laughing as he began to look sheepish. "Yes well... I suppose there are certain circumstances that can take anyone by surprise." Discord muttered.

"Why do I have to eat honey!" Spike stated. "I'm not complaining i'm just honestly curious?"

"You know how none of my book mention what causes Cutie Pox," Twilight said.

"You mean that disease that cause Applebloom to get more cutie mark and being force to do them all?" At Twilight nodding, Spike asked "What about it?"

"Well apparently no one also knew that awamp-fever is contagious. granted its arguable that its more of a factor thing since Zecora was still freshly cover in that flower pollen but its better safe than sorry."

"Oh so that why you ask Mayor mare to hold a town meeting where everyone must eat Flashbee honey... I just thought you went nuts when you came back." Spike said writing something."

"What are you writing?"

"New ideas for an RPG scenario. What you and fluttershy went through is gold."

Session 66.11 Kendell2

"Alright, time for the next boss..." said Sunset muttered. "Wonder who it will be..."

A monster formed out of nowhere, this one being a boss known as the Umbrum Goliath, an Umbrum assuming the shape of a Minotaur-like demon. It gave a roar and charged them.

Sunset dodged its incoming attacks with a large club, using one of Celestia's firespells on it.

Sci-Twi sniped it several times, but other players intentionally kept getting in her way, seemingly on purpose. "Ugh, this is getting really annoying!"

"Tell me about it, darling..." muttered Rarity with a growl.

Rainbow Dash was, annoyingly, one of those ponies causing problems for the others, currently seeming more preoccupied with fighting Trixie for the leaderboard than anything resembling teamwork. "You won't get the kill this time!"

"The Great and Powerful Trixie most certainly will!" Trixie yelled, the two repeatedly getting in each other's way trying to beat down the monster.

Applejack growled, ducking down to allow the two snipers to land repeated hits on the monster, taking the charge and punching it repeatedly and knocking it down. "That get it?" she asked...then jumped back as it rose back up, only now burning with shadowy fire.

"It has a second phase, remember?" asked Twilight, cringing as Applejack got a pretty heavy hit. Yeah, it didn't hurt in real life, but it LOOKED real. Fluttershy quickly had to heal her up.

The players kept fighting each other for the killing blow as much as they were fighting the boss, until Rainbow and Trixie both topped out their meter and when 'Depth Mode' as some had taken to calling it and both attacked it full power at the same time.

"Who got the kill, who got the kill?!" asked Trixie and Rainbow at the same time as the boss vanished into smoke...

And the points appeared over Rainbow's head.

"Oh yeah! I'm awesome! I'm awesome!" bragged Rainbow.

"...I'm really not looking forwards to having to pop her ego after this, darling," muttered Rarity.

Adagio chuckled, watching the corruption values raise and her new pendant filling up. "Soon, soon..." she said, looking to Aria. "Got your song picked out?"

Aria gave a smirk. "You know it, when do I go on?"

"Next Event boss fight is yours," the Alpha Siren replied. "By the time of the final act, we'll be all ready."

Session 66.12 Alex Warlorn

"We're going to make the REAL Somnambula proud in her grave, when we make OUR illusions REAL!" Adagio laughed. "And we chose HOW they become real. No poor misunderstood monsters who just want to be friends here!"

-

Meanwhile... Gilda was having fun controlling the wandering super boss, set it would only appear when she decided it would, it effective following her around town, spawning where she had a view of the entire Augmented Reality battle field. And she was indeed having fun. Though even she thought it was a bit unfair that the boss could only be damaged while Heroes were in 'Mythic' mode or whatever that super-mode was called. But the players kept coming back for more with the tasty reward in experience and in game currency and a random item drop of some super rare weapon that you couldn't buy in shop that could slowly automatically fill up your super mode gage when it was equipped.

Players eventually caught up on this, and began to use the Super Mode as much as possible as long as possible (the boss dropping rupees that filled the mode meter if hit by a regular attack.

-

"So this flying game..." Sombra said. "That uses the Augmented Reality Monocles?"

Radiant Hope nodded. "I saw the flying mini-game in Crystals and Rainbow was popular, but it would require too many resources compared to the rest of the game to continue to flesh it out, and would undermine the simplistic and straightforward gameplay we're going for. So I had the development team throw together a 'proof of concept prototype' to be shown off at the Con."

Session 66.13 Zaku789

"Alright so are you guys ready for the-" Rainbow said.

"Yeah, we're taking a break from it," Sunset said reading a magazine.

"Wait what?" Rainbow question.

"We're taking a break from the game," Rarity said "At least till those competition freaks stop acting like crazy people."

'W-what, but that's ridiculous! AJ tell them."

"Dash, Ah know were both competitive as Hell. but quite frankly the whole beat Trixie thing, combined with other players one-upping one another more than usual is startin' to wear down even my nerves," Applejack stated. "If it wasn't for the fact that it's an online game, Ah'd swear this is some evil plot by baddies."

"Oh come on, what kind of bad guys feed on hatred," Rainbow Dash said, getting annoyed looks from everyone present. "Okay let me rephrase that so it sounds less stupid. What kind of bad guys use hatred from healthy competition in a video game with the only suspect NOT having a way to use it to there advantage?"

Adagio whistled Voltaire's 'When You're Evil' as she polished the pendant.

Session 66.14 Mtangalion

On the edge of the virtual battlefield, a towering beast like a bat-winged minotaur appeared, covered in glowing green tattoos. "Tremble, mortals!" it bellowed. "The hour of your doom has..."

"Depth Mode!" shouted three young voices in chorus.

Gilda blinked. "Eh?"

"Eh?" rumbled the demon beast in the VR adventure world that she was controlling.

"Phalanx Wingblade Omnislash!" shouted Scootaloo, darting in and slashing the superboss ten times in less than a second.

"Dirge of Naught!" sang out Sweetie Belle, making the monster reel in deafening silence.

"Summon: Hound of Tindalos!" cried Apple Bloom, causing a giant black wolf to swallow the monster whole, then implode, leaving the monster behind to explode into sparkling dust.

"Yes!" shouted Scootaloo, pumping her fist. "I defeated it!"

"Hey, I'm the one who beat it," yelled Sweetie Belle, shoving her.

"Sweet, a new relic!" said Apple Bloom, holding a gem aloft. "That's going in my armor."

Sweetie gasped. "Hey, I need that! Why should you get it?" The girls started pushing and shoving each other in the real world too.

"Jeez," said Gilda. "Now I know how Nightmare Moon felt before heroic mode." She was a little shaken, for all that the attacks had only been virtual. "Something's not right about this," she mused, resisting a sudden urge to griffon-up right there in the convention hall and defend herself against... she didn't even know what. "Maybe I should... Huh, what's this now?"

There was a chime, and text started scrolling up her GM console. "Final superboss unlocked? This monster appears when all the other super bosses are defeated, and heralds the coming of the ultimate boss. Each time this boss is struck down with a player's Ultimate attack, it comes back stronger than before." Her eyes grew wide, checking out its stats and attack list, and those were just the starting stats! "Oh... yeah..."

Rainbow Dash coughed, standing up. "Hey, I saw something else I wanna check out, so since we're taking a break and all..." The others weren't paying that much attention anyway, so she slipped out of sight and put her VR eyepatch back on.

"Sorry girls, but I'll never overtake Trixie with you all holding me back." Rainbow felt a stab of guilt, but quickly shrugged it off, unaware that her eyes were glowing faintly green. "It'll be fine. When I'm way higher level, I'll help them power up too!"

Session 66.15 Alex Warlorn

Princess Twilight Sparkle shivered as she trotted along side Starlight Glimmer and Adagio Dazzle. Adagio being pushed in a wheel barrow by a griffin with spirals for eyes and a goofy smile on his head. It was the Equestrian Center for Hypnotists And Other Mind Magic Experts. As the top three contestants of the mind control contest, they'd been invited here to each give a lecture if they wished, and to learn and observe, and maybe play a giant game of chess... with hypnotized ponies in enchanted costumes acting as the chess pieces.

A smiling unicorn pony with glassy eyes like a doll in a maid outfit bowed to them, "Welcome welcome! It is a pleasure to have you here, our chair pony has waited for you eagerly!"

"Who is your chair pony?" Twilight asked. Imagining some old depraved stallion.

"Tis us!" Princess Luna appeared in a swirl of dark magic.

"PRINCESS LUNA! You're the chairpony of Equestria's mind control guild?!"

"We prefer the term Mind Magic Professionals Princess Twilight Sparkle."

"But... but YOU?!"

"With how well I have managed the minds and dreams of ponies for centuries, keeping ponies sane ... none have been able to challenge my position."

"But... how can you justify doing this to ponies?" Twilight gestured to the smiling unicorn maid.

Luna responded by removing the mare's hair band of her maid uniform. The mare's eyes lit up and she laugh maniacally, "Finally free! Now I can create my masterpiece seafood dish of seapony eggs! HAHAH-" Luna put the fluffy headband back on. "Oh my, I do apologize... I don't like it when I'm... that person." The maid blushed.

Still a seapony at ... well, that dripping black thing where her heart should be, Adagio frowned. "This is too good for her."

"YOU TRIED TO CONQUER THE WORLD! TWICE! AT LEAST!" Twilight exasperated.

"Yes..." Adagio assumed the air of a celebrity, "But you don't see me eating say, griffin eggs."

Session 66.16 Zalu789

"So why are you here? Finally decided that these two need some attitude adjustment?" Luna asked.

"Still sore about the accidental cutie mark swap," Starlight deadpanned.

"Little bit," Princess Luna admitted.

"So punch!" Starlight declared.

"What?!"

"Punch me! Blast me! String me up! I have horrible guilt issues that often paralyze me from taking decisive action, so please! Inflict upon me any punishment you feel is just!!! I can't bear knowing that friends or potential friends might feel negatively towards me, so please, beat me to a bloody pulp or lock in the dungeon or publicly humiliate me!" Starlight got on her knees stretching our her arms.

"Uh... It doesn't feel nearly as satisfying when you actually WANT to be punished... " Princess Luna said awkwardly.

"Oh, sorry."

"What are you bozos talking about?" Adagio asked. A minute of explanations later, Adagio was laughing her head off. "HAHAHA! THAT IS TOO RICH! You swapped the cutie marks of the princesses, and you DIDN'T hold any kind of ransom for switching them back?! WHAT AN IDIOT! HAHAHA!" Adagio continued to giggle to herself. "You could have forced them to make you a goddess and they'd have had no choice but to say yes! You dummy!"

Starlight whimpered.

"Err actually Princess, we're here because we're the top three from that contest you held in Ponyville," Twilight said.

"Oh, was that today, we need to handle my calendar better," Luna said. She teleported away. The three mares looked at each other confused, before the Princess teleported back. "Just wear these around and we'll get you ready." she lifted three sashes that said Contest Winners.

"These won't mind control us to make us more pliable during our stay here so the goodie-two-shoes don't do something stupid and free your hypnotized slaves even after seeing one acting like a derange egg-eater will they?" Adagio asked.

"They are not slaves, slavery is illegal in Equestria, they're convict labor, and/or work release, or volunteers... And Maybe," Luna said.

"MAYBE!" Twilight shouted.

"Oh just put it on, I rather take the precaution just in case, weird thing happen around you all the time and we are with a semi-recurring villain at the moment," Starlight said.

"Hey that's-" Twilight pause as she thought it over. "On second thought yeah, that actually a fair point."

Session 66.17 Alex Warlorn and Kendell2

*SPOILERS FOR MY LITTLE PONY THE MOVIE. READ YOUR OWN RISK!!! *

Grubber spoke into his megaphone, waving a familiar grim dark role playing game. "Attention ponies! His great and terribleness the storm king, would like to locate the creatures who wrote this Equestria Crusaders 40 Carrots! They will be greatly rewarded! The person who rats on them, not the person who wrote the book I mean: their goose is cook!"

The transformed Garble may or may not have wet himself.

"HEY! The edge-queen screw head?!" Gilda screeched a griffin battle cry and swooped straight at Tempest Shadow. Gilda would normally never be stupid enough to go up against a unicorn straight on in the 'line of fire' but this one's horn was damaged, she could get in melee range. "You like beating up these ponies, but how about a Griffonstone Griffon?!"

And unicorns weren't exactly know for their melee- in one fluid motion, Tempest Shadow spun around, grabbed one of Gilda's out stretched talons, and using her weight as leverage... made Gilda's arm swing the wrong way with a sickening crack. Gilda screeched out at the agony. Tempest didn't give a chance to recover as she merciless pummeled the griffin, who was used to brawls, not battles.

"Griffonstone is CANDY LAND to where I've had to fight my way through!" She kicked Gilda in the face.

-

A neon rainbow swarm of insect ponies and darker colors flew towards occupied Chanterlot, taking the most direct and immediate route towards the city by air. King Thorax leading the charge.

"Charge weapons," Tempest Shadow ordered without missing a beat. Two Storm Troopers tirelessly began turning a two person crank, which began to crackle with electricity.

"Aim above the center of he swarm." More of her personal troops began to turn a massive tesla coil like tube encased in glass, at the end being spiked forks in the form of the storm king's symbol.

"Fire."

Lightning arched through the black clouds, spreading all over, then struck down at the changelings, arching from one to another, until they reached King Thorax... and they fell... at least if there was one thing changelings were good at it, it was surviving long drops.

Tempest Shadow chose to speak into Grubber's megaphone, letting her voice be heard to the twitching insect ponies at the base of the mountain. "You changelings should have continued to follow Queen Chrysalis, at least she knew how to lead you into battle!"

-

"Hey boss... shouldn't be worried about dragons showing up too?" Grubber asked via the spell pool to the Storm King.

"Stupid, that's what the rockets filled with Dragon Sneeze Tree pollen are for. And the bombs filled with liquids-nitrogen just in case. Too bad you didn't manage to catch that pet dragon of theirs... He'd have made a great field test!"

-

Tempest Shadow stepped over Discord's petrified form, giving him a kick for making her use up the last gorgon grenade she'd been saving for Princess Twilight Sparkle. And the Storm King wasn't exactly trusting with them. If things like that were easy to come by, she'd not have been stingy with them.

At the front door to Twilight Sparkle's castle of friendship, one pony stood in her way, surrounded by obliterated siege weapons and piles of Storm Troopers.

"Two... or two hundred... you aren't getting through here..." Starlight Glimmer was panting.

"What about one?" Tempest asked, and made a gesture with her head. The Storm Troopers behind her parted, showing Trixie shackled and bridled with a seal on her horn. Starlight could faintly make out Trixie trying to say 'teacup!' Starlight wondered if Trixie zapped any of the enemy first. And a harpoon gun was pointed right at one of Trixie pretty violet eyes.

Starlight's horn stopped glowing and lowered her head.

"And this is why friendship is a weakness." Tempest back handed Starlight in the horn, KNOWING how painful that was. She knew every second of every day. The pain never went away, not for her.

-

"So... this is the mirror that leads to another world, with weapons that can obliterate cities, entire continents."

"And you want to start a war there?" Starlight smirked.

"Oh no, not while this war is still going on, if you can call it that. The Storm King plans for us to walk into a public library and check out some books on how to make one." Tempest Shadow said.

Starlight's eyes widened.

She managed to teleport the journal away, the key to opening the mirror... teleporting it as far away as she could, she'd have to find it later. After she recovered from being beaten into unconsciousness by angry Storm Troopers.

--

Starlight gave Tempest a glare. "...You want to know the sad thing?"

Tempest rolled her eyes. "What? We could've been friends?"

The mare shook her head. "...If I'd met you before, I'd have put every medical cutie mark in the village on one pony to find a way to fix your horn because that IS unfair."

Tempest blinked. "...You can do that?"

"...Yes...care enough to stop this?"

"...No. You're just lying to try and get out..." the mare replied, though couldn't keep a small bit of conflict hidden.

"Then I don't care enough to help you," Starlight replied simply. "And you'd better hope I don't get out of this cage, or I swear, your Cutie Mark will join Suri's at the bottom of the ocean for what you used Trixie for."

"Good to hear. Because you're our back up battery."

"... What?"

"In case I don't come back with the forth Princess, you're her substitute, of course the ritual was meant to drain the power from an ALICORN, so I think we'd both rather not have that happen to an innocent pony. So let's both hope I come back with her."

"I... hope you don't."

"And that's friendship does to you."

--

Grubber sang to himself. "Lala-lalalala-la-la!" As he rocked like a child on top of Sweetie Belle as she was made to prance in a circle like a show pony in a circus costume. "I feel so pretty!" That was when Sweetie Belle muscles gave out and she fell on her belly. "Dang! Tired out already?" She'd been lugging around his weight for ten minutes. "Okay next one!" He'd already driven the earth pony fillies (Diamond, Silver Spoon, and Apple Bloom) to exhaustion. Sweetie felt that her sister would die seeing her in the garish costume.

Scootaloo, in a simular frilly costume, was pushed into position in the fenced in ring and Grubber recklessly hopped onto the filly, making her grunt. "Okay pony! Let's fly!"

"... I... I can't fly..." Scootaloo said, humiliated.

"Huh? I thought that was what your pegasuses did!"

"... It's pegasi... and... and I can't."

"Oh! You're like my buddy Tempest Shadow! She says she was this super powerful unicorn, but then got on the business end of a, oh right, I'm not supposed to talk about that! So what happened to you? Monster gotcha?"

"... No... my... my wings... just don't grow..."

"Oh." Grubber said, surprisingly tame. "So uh, this is kinda awkward... I kinda thought for a bit there you and my buddy Tempest might have somethin' to talk about... uh... but, this feels too much like I'd be riding her, and that's too weird." Grubber surprisingly got off.

-

"Hey! Tempest! I found a filly whose like you!"Grubber said carrying along Scootaloo like she was a prized teddy bear won at the carnival.

Tempest looked to Grubber. "How so?"

"Well she can't fly, just like...you know..."

The Commander narrowed her eyes. "...Is that true?"

Scootaloo looked up at her with a glare. "What do you care?"

The unicorn's expression didn't change. "Answer me."

"...Yes..."

"..." Tempest's gaze softened ever so slightly. "...How did it happen?"

"...It's just how I am..." Scootaloo replied, looking at her broken horn.

"...So you know how it is then? To be unable to do everything you want to do, everything your kind can do?" asked the mare. "...Maybe we are alike."

"...I'm nothing like you, traitor."

Grubber cringed, expecting the worse. Tempest merely kept composed.

"...The Storm King is giving me back my horn, he could give you new wings."

Scootaloo's eyes widened, looking up at her. "H-He could?"

"If you please him," replied Tempest. "So how about it? Join us, and then you can show everypony what you really can do once you're whole."

Scootaloo looked tempted. Being able to fly? Do all those things Rainbow Dash could do? It'd be...wait... "...No."

"And why not? You get your wings and aren't one of our slaves anymore."

"Because Rainbow Dash taught me better, no way I'd EVER betray her or my friends!" Scootaloo yelled. "...And when she gets back, she's going to kick your flank, traitor!"

Grubber blinked, noting that Tempest actually looked...shaken for just a moment.

"...Take her back to her cage."

"But, Tempest..."

"I said take her back!"

"... Alright boss."

Session 66.18 Kendell2

*SPOILERS FOR MY LITTLE PONY THE MOVIE. READ YOUR OWN RISK!!! *

"Sombra!"

Sombra blinked...and promptly gentle motioned Radiant Hope behind him as a tall white skinned, blue haired man wearing a black business suit walked up to him. "Hello there," the CEO replied, shaking the man's hand.

"Remember me? The Storm King!" replied the man, using his moniker he was best known for. Namely bank that originally specialized in storm damage loans, but it'd stuck even after they'd branched out.

"Yes, you were a friend of mother's and Tirek's..." replied Sombra.

"That's me," the Storm King replied, smoking a cigarette, the billowing smoke seeming to give him a cloud around his head like a storm.

"Can you please put that thing out, my wife is pregnant."

The man shrugged, dropping it and grinding it into the ground. "Whatever. Anyway, the kid I'm guardian of wanted to come and I had some business in the area, so what the heck?" he asked, then gave a blech. "Just wish those games of yours weren't so cute. Never have been a fan of cute."

"Well the buying public would dare to disagree," was the reply.

"Yeah, whatever. Anyway, I noticed your next expansion has Tirek as the big baddie, I was wondering, think I could get in?" asked the Storm King with a smirk.

Sombra blinked. "You mean you want an expansion?"

"Yeah! I mean come on, the name the STORM King! Doesn't that just SCREAM final boss?" asked the banker. "And you know, instead of giving loans to storm victims, I can MAKE storm victims!"

Sombra admitted, how he said that made him question how much the guy WANTED to be able to do that.

"I've even got a catchphrase in mind! 'Here comes the storm!', sound good?"

"I don't know, we haven't even finished Ascension yet..." replied Sombra.

"I'll pay for it."

"...PAY, not LOAN."

"Dang it, you know me too well. Fine, I'll PAY for it, even have YOUR lawyer write up the terms, how's that sound?"

"...We'll call you..."

"Cool! I'll get my daughter's designs ready, she's been drawing a lot of crazy stuff since the whole camping incident when she was a kid."

Radiant blinked. "Incident?"

The Storm King shrugged. "Eh, something about a bear. Anyway, see you later," he said with a wave as he walked off.

"...Who was that?"

Sombra shuddered. "...A loanshark. A bad one. You'd be surprised how many people are bankrupt because of him. Swoops in, drains them dry, and leaves them with nothing..."

"...I see why your mother liked him..."

"I know...there's a reason people have called him the 'Storm Kingpin'...And he needs to call Tirek nearly every month..."

"Alright, my turn..." said Aria, slowly walking over to move on as the next boss spawned.

This time, it was one of the Changeling Generals, Kabuto, in his OWA form, a massive insectoid beast. She gave a smirk, watching the players instantly pounce on it, that stupid Rainboom and Trixie being fighting too and nail with one another. "Too easy..." she said, stepping up a few stairs...then blinked, turning like a shark that'd just smelled blood. "I smell bitterness, hatred, envy, and a lot of rage, with a hint of despair and depression...delicious, but where's it coming from?"

She peaked out the curtain just in time to see a new fighter (in game playing a Flash Magnus, one of the upclose melee classes) rush in, quickly tearing into the boss. She was covered mostly in dark clothing with a T-shirt depicting a symbol she recognized from some loanshark she'd seen ads for and a hoody covering her face and arms (though one of her hands didn't seem to move much, if at all). What Aria could see was dark red skin and red hair.

What she could FEEL however, made her mouth water. "Hello jackpot..." Aria said with a smirk. "I think I'll need to change the song and show ponies heart songs aren't just something THEY can do when feeling happy..."

Shortly there after, Aria emerge before. "Hello everybody, time for another special round! Remember, however gets that kill gets the big power up!" she called, getting cheers. She focused her eyes on the new mystery guest and began to sing with the autotune.

= Open Up Your Eyes - My Little Pony the Movie =

"It's time you learned a lesson.
It's time that you understand.
Don't ever count on anybody else
In this or any other land," sang Aria with a smirk.

Rainbow found the mystery girl suddenly jump up and hit 'Kabuto'. "Hey!"

"We all hope for friendship
To find a place among our kind,
But those are the childish wishes
Of someone who is blind," Aria continued.

Trixie went in for a hit on Kabuto, but the girl jumped between her and blocked her then struck herself. "Get out of Trixie's way!"

"You get out of mine," the girl growled back.

"Open up your eyes,
See the world from where we stand!
Us among the mighty,
And them caged at our command!" Aria said, using what control she had over the special effects from her own GM console to make a brief 'easteregg' of Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and Twilight in cages appear in the smoke.

The girl did a parkor jump off the wall just to land a hit on the boss, moving intentionally to block the other players.

"Hey, leave some for us!" Rainbow called, grabbing her forearm...and blinking. It felt hard, solid, almost like it was fake.

The girl just tore free and kept up the assault.

"Open up your eyes,
Give up your sweet fantasy land,
It's time to grow up and get wise.
Come now, little ones, open up your eyes!"

Rainbow blinked, flexing her hand. "What was that about-hey! I'm still playing you know!" she called, dashing in and now starting blocking the mystery girl...who PUSHED her out of the way in return.

"We all start out the same,
With simple naive trust,
Shielded from the many ways,
That life's not fair or just."

Trixie was next to get shoved out of the girl's way. "Trixie will not stand for this!"

"Then don't, see if I care," replied the girl as she struck 'Kabuto' again.

"But then there comes a moment,
A simple truth that you must face,
If you depend on others,
You'll never find your place," Aria continued singing.

The girl finally activated Depths Mode, as did Rainbow and Trixie, the three fighting one another for hits.

"And as you take that first step,
Upon a path that's all your own,
You see it all so clearly,
The best way to survive is all alone!" sang Aria...this time the girl singing WITH her, causing Rainbow to blink in confusion and miss a hit.

"Open up your eyes,
See the world from where we stand!
Us among the mighty,
And them caged at our command!

Open up your eyes,
And behold, the faded light.
It's time to grow up and get wise.
Come now, little ones, open up your eyes!"

The girl activated her character's ultimate, in this case using his legendary shield to surf for multiple fierce strike's ending in a lightning storm, destroying Kabuto.

"Open up your eyes!" finished the song, Aria and the girl singing as one.

Aria chuckled, taking her bow and walking back. "Well, how'd it go?" she asked Adagio.

The Alpha siren smirked. "I have NO idea what you did, but you just wracked up a LOT of negativity..." she said.

"The biggest buffet I've seen in years just walked in," Aria replied with a chuckle. "Oh will she make a great siren..."

The trio walked over and looked out. "What's her screen name?" Aria asked.

The girl removed her hood, taking a deep breath and revealing a scar over her right eye. She felt her right arm...and adjusted the prosthetic attached to her at the elbow.

Adagio checked. "Tempest Shadow...A good name for a Siren too," she said, the two sinisterly chuckling.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 66.0 Mtangalion
Session 66.1 redsopine
Session 66.2 Kendell2
Session 66.3 Alex Warlorn
Session 66.4 Alex Warlorn
Session 66.5 Mtangalion
Session 66.6 Kendell2
Session 66.7 Ardashir
Session 66.8 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 66.9 Mtangalion
Session 66.10 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 66.11 Kendell2
Session 66.12 Alex Warlorn
Session 66.13 Zaku789
Session 66.14 Mtangalion
Session 66.15 Alex Warlorn
Session 66.16 Zaku789 (with edits)
Session 66.17 Alex Warlorn and Kendell2 WARNING! SPOILRS FOR MLP MOVIE! Read at your own risk!
Session 66.18 Kendell2 *SPOILERS FOR MY LITTLE PONY THE MOVIE. READ YOUR OWN RISK!!! *

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Picture by MelodicNarrative, used with permission.
https://alexwarlorn.deviantart.com/art/Sweetie-Belle-Ogres-and-Oubliettes-670444222

Session 67 (movie spoilers)

Session 67.0 QuartzScale

*Spoilers for MLP Movie- Read at your own Risk*

Tirek looked over his office while Little Pip made herself busy working on filing away all the contracts. It was almost time for his four o’clock. It was one thing to give this bozo an expansion but it was even better when he got to wring money out of the old skinflint. Mr. ‘Storm King’ as he liked to be called really needed to rejoin reality.

“Ms. Pip. I’ll be having an important meeting. Would you like to stay? Remember it’s going to be intense especially with who it is.” Tirek softly spoke his strangely dulcet tones whenever he was hiding that sharpened blade that was his tongue.

“If you don’t mind sir… I’ll stay just in case.” Lil Pip answered immediately squeaking timidly in fear.

“Hm… perhaps you can hack it in this business. No matter. Just don’t answer any question of his. If he asks why you don’t speak tell him that it’s not your place to speak in important matters. Trust me… he’ll bleed you dry if he gets the hook in you.” Tirek solemnly answered with a resolute grimace.

“U-understood sir.” Lil Pip saluted as she fixed off her casual work wear… somehow she had earned the chance to be more casual. Though she wasn’t
sure that it was because of her work ethic or because she made the boss look better for PR.

Tartarus and Co had become one of the largest law firms in all of Canterlot County making things legally safer for the entire populace… at least she hoped that they did. It was hard to actually shake the feelings of shadiness when he had seen a strange woman decked out in black clothing and wearing chains whenever she was brought over to speak with Tirek for a tea session. It was a testament to how well he played the system within the rules of the law. Today was no different. She had been witness to the constant rules lawyering he had to do just to make sure this… ‘Storm King’ played along and kept his word. Speak of the devil…

“Welcome Storm King. I take it you enjoyed your trip over.” Tirek snidely hid his grimace keeping his hands on the desk so as to not immediately try and throttle the snarky landshark in front of him.

“How could I refuse an old friend of mine.” Storm King answered in kind… his eyes piercing through Tirek in abject anger at the corruptible law holder.

“Sit… We need to discuss some things… And prepare for our other guest as well.” Tirek motioned to the chair in front of him as Lil Pip stood resolute and frozen so as to appear to be a fixture.

“Fine… I take it that this is more than about the contract I signed.” Storm King sneered as he sat down.

“Yes. Much more. First, how well do you know the gaming industry right now?” Tirek slowly brought up his topic.

“It’s fine. A few too many cutesy games for my taste but I understand that Sombra is pleasing his new wife. Kid grew up and finally has a spine this time. Also with a kid on the way. Now that’s surprising.” Storm King took out a cigarette, lighting it and smoking the ash away.

“Yeah. It’s no problem since I have the solution to our problems of too many cutesy games in the market. But perhaps I should give the stand over to my… employer in this matter.” Tirek cruelly smiled as the door to the office opened.

It was at that moment the room seemed to get thirty degrees colder though all three knew it was only their imaginations. Two cops had opened the door wearing their swat gear as a familiar woman walked into the room. Tirek instantly looked at Lil Pip who immediately rushed to get her the most comfortable chair in the office before she could say anything and placing it in the same place it was always meant to be at.

“Welcome Rabia. Always a pleasure.” Tirek solemnly answered. Storm King gave a polite nod. They were friends… in a sense but even he knew never to show weakness around her.

“Thank you old friend. Anymore backs to stab or have we come to… Ah… my other old friend. There you are. It’s been a while. I suppose Tirek wants me to ‘convince’ you to join us in a little side venture.” Rabia chuckled as the two cops glared at her before stepping outside the room ready to charge in for any reason.

No one knew how he did it but Rabia had been on her best behavior for some reason ever since Sombra forcefully took over the reins of the family in a sense. There had been less guards gored and she had become the model inmate… for some reason that was beyond their idea of control.

“I’m here to join Rabia. Of course I’ll help you out.” Storm King answered earnestly. The last time he went against Rabia nearly saw the loss of his entire loan company. Never again after that point.

“That’s good sweetie.” Rabia placed a hand on his cheek… it was colder than ice and still possibly more real that her own heart. “So you know how my… lovely son and hiswife have taken it upon themselves to make such wonderful titles that make Crystal Soft so much better nowadays.”

“Yes mam.” Tirek and Storm both answered nervously. Rabia unnerved them immensely.

“Well my sweet daughter Ira wants to follow in my footsteps so to say and thanks to the contract Tirek made Sombra sign we do have access to Equestria assets and so I propose a game to be released through her side company. Completely legal and free of any shady dealings.” Rabia answered solemnly making sure to slam her fist on the desk to punctuate her point. It left a large imprint.

“Sounds promising. So why do you need me then?” Storm King asked cautiously.

“Capital. A venture like this needs money. Work on this project with Tirek for me… Since you do owe me… traitor.” Rabia sneered as she picked Storm King off of the chair holding him by his neck. “I know how you gave Sombra my account information Storm. Be smart or don’t. What’s a few more years to me.”

“Y-yes. I-I-I’ll do it.” Storm screamed as Rabia placed him back on the chair.

“That’s a good boy.” Rabia politely rubbed his cheek… as if the last five minutes didn’t happen. “Do you have the programmers you need?”

“Yes. Introducing Zappityhoof, Goldcap, Decepticolt and Kabuto. The last one is on loan from Blackthorn Industries.” Tirek placed a set of photos on the desk for the two to see.

Lil Pip didn’t say a word. Since no one noticed her she remained quiet as she could thanking her mother that she was little enough to escape their scrutiny. Storm King had frightened her when he stepped into the room. Rabia utterly terrified her since she had easily picked Storm King off the ground with one hand because of her time in prison. She wanted to hyperventilate but held it together in hopes of not dragging their attention.

“Sounds good. Ira will get together my concept of a wasteland of cute ponies. Time to show the world what true entertainment is.” Rabia smirked as the cops came in ready to take her back. She made no fight and willingly walked with them. Her good mood was their salvation.

“I’ll write up the contracts later Storm. Here…” He gave Storm a bottle of cognac which Storm earnestly took to steady his nerves. While both never said it out loud they both shared the sentiment. Rabia scared them more than anything else in life.

Session 67.1 Alex Warlorn

There was a knock on the castle door... at least Spike was fairly sure it wouldn't be the equalist ~~cult~~ movement or Luna's Witnesses this time.

Spike answered the door. He didn't recognize the blue earth pony with a blond mane ... He looked nervous. "And you are?"

"Oh! I'm... I'm Star Tracker!" He held up a O&O book. "And I heard that Twilight Sparkles likes playing Ogres and-" Spike slammed the door in his face.

"Spike, what was that?"

"Meh, just another fanboy. I thought the fad with the journals finally calmed down."

"Fanboy? What a minute..." Twilight opened the door. "Star Tracker?"

The stallion stopped rubbing his sore nose. "Uh... Hi?... I... I heard you kinda have an open door policy with your subjects... so I just... thought..."

Twilight say the game book and took in a deep breath. "Star Tracker... you're a nice guy. You really are. But looking up a girl's personal hobbies, and taking them up just to impress her isn't going to do you any favors."

"Uh, I actually already played the game. I own the first addition rule books."

"Oh! Well, I kinda have a full table already... but I wouldn't mind going over some pointers for you-" Twilight turned around to lead him in.

An orange blur went by while Twilight's back was turned. When she looked behind Star Tracker was gone.

"Spike... what happened?"

-

"And I know you were just doing your job Flash Sentry, but I promise Star Tracker isn't a stalker, if I felt he was getting too uncomfortable, I would tell him myself."

"Yes Princess." Flash Sentry said, still giving glares at the meek Earth Pony as he left.

In the Human World

Starlight Glimmer had got her hands on one of the Augmented Reality Eye Patches, and was in Canterlot Park, where another boss had appeared, this time Nightmare Moon, along with large 'Nightmareified' unicorn mares as sub-bosses. And while Starlight had been forbidden from sharing her geopolitical views on WoH (which she felt was incredibly unfair), there was no limit in this game... The responses she'd gotten were... Not nice.

"Damn socialist, just fascist with a different name!"

"Go back to Russia!"

"Castro just called, he wants his b***** back!"

"Go back in time, and sit underneath the Berlin Wall as they knock it down!"

And those had been the nicer ones.

Starlight had chosen Somnambula as her champion. Since they'd patched Mage Meadowlark as a Earth Pony Alchemist instead of the Unicorn Spellcrafter she was before the retcon. Starlight herself had submitted an idea for an extra 'legendary item' of hers she'd found alluded to in the patch notes, she didn't care if they paid her or not, but they turned down a staff that could strip a character of its Special Abilities as a balancing force against abusive players.

This was supposed to be a group game. She'd only been able to get her hands on one. Not that she... she had anyone to group with at first.

There was something familiar about that player she'd teamed up with that one space empire game though...

She was shocked at how quickly Starlight and her guild recognized her from WoH...

She thought Rainbow Dash, as part of the guild would care to join her, so she could write up a full article on how socially toxic this kind of game was to people... but it seemed the damaged had already been done.

"Somnambula huh? They should have made it a thief class for this game... after she stole the name of one of my greatest role models."

Starlight turned, and saw the yellow skinned young woman with orange hair that was bigger than the rest of her body mass it looked like. The VR set made her look like one of those side quest bosses... oh right.

"Adagio Dazzle?"

"Know my face? I guess that's the price we pay for fandom in a silly game industry."

"What do you mean? 'She stole the name?'"

"Somnambula was a great enchantress," Adagio said, her voice uncharacteristically full of praise. "She could turn ponies into brainwashed little lemmings, come right to her door, and create idealistic illusion fantasy worlds for them, while she sucked their life-force dry until they were lifeless mummies! ... Her name was known throughout Equestria's history... Until that bucking nag STOLE IT! She took a name that inspired dark desire and fear and turned it into a name for a stupid hero! It's a disgrace! ... Oh!" Adagio calmed herself down. "Excuse me. Got a little too in character there. I mean that I submitted the idea, and the game designers completely bastardized my idea. It gets under my skin, you understand."

Adagio felt like she'd seen this human somewhere before... or at least her color pattern... when all those stupid unicorns were fighting with light sabers over who was star-butt's apprentice or something? Who cared?

"I... I understand. That isn't fair, and must be frustrating." Starlight said sincerely.

"Thank you, oh, and look behind you."

Starlight turned, only to remember the game didn't have a pause button, as she was virtually run through by a fabulous looking nightmare unicorn with a beautiful long mane. Knocking her character's HP to Zero, and knocking her out of the game until she could reset. Ironically the game offered a small boast when that happened as a 'bonus' but that didn't quite feel fair to Starlight to use.

Adagio just walked away, munching on popcorn a park bench, he her sisters were going to milk all the negative for all it was worth before Adagio did her master performance. It was already planned for a full moon at midnight at Canterlot high, now they just needed to select the date.

Shadow Tempest meanwhile, continued to ruthlessly cut down the nightmareified unicorn mares... even if there was an option to 'save' them, no one used it, not willing to share experience with stupid NPCs. Which made the act more real than if there was no option but to knock their HP down to zero. Shadow Tempest clutched her artificial hand, connected to the surviving nerve ending in her elbow. ... Thinking of a little doll that was crushed that had belonged to a friend... the friends who abandoned her, seeing the two girls shocked and scared as the doll's pieces fell to the ground, and then running away from. And the next day playing with another girl like nothing had happened. Shadow Tempest growled and fought harder.

"Excuse me, but I don't think this game is healthy for you. You don't look well. You should really take a break." Starlight said, completely meaning it. The blue skinned girl looked sick.

"As if Trixie needs the high and mighty advice of a video game phobic!"

"Actually, I'm not against video games that encourage social grown and intelligent thinking, this however is... is just... poisonous."

At that time, Trixie two band mates, and what could preciously be referred to as her friends, Lavender Lace, and Fuchsia Blush, stormed up to the silver haired girl.

"Trixie! You LIED to us about where the event boss was!" Lavender snarled.

"Quite your whining! Trixie is doing fine on her own!"

"I thought this was supposed to be a team game!" Starlight exasperated.

"No one asked you!" All three hissed.

Session 67.2 Alex Warlorn*MOVIE SPOILERS*

The unicorn sprang back when her door was knocked down, she saw the two yetis in black armor and blasted them with her horn... and their armor just absorbed the magic. She gasped when they parted to make way for a dark furred unicorn in black armor, with a broken horn. Sparks dangerously crackled. The unicorn's face remained still and no-nonsense as she steadily trotted into the apartment room.

"F-fizzypop... is that you?"

"My name is Tempest Shadow. Fizzypop died. Remember? You left her to die."

The gifted unicorn began trotting backwards. "Fizzy... please... we were just foals... we were scared."

The unicorn backed up into her wall.

"What scared you first? The monster's roar? Or my cries for help?... So imagine how scared a little filly was, actually having to face it... all alone. Just... imagine... how terrifying... that is." Tempest lowered her broken horn.

-

A minute later, there was still only one unicorn in the room with a maimed horn. The other was curled up in a ball on the floor, shivering and scared out of her mind.

Still cool calm and collected, Tempest turned around and trotted out, she looked at the two Storm Troopers. "Get her bridled and put with the other slaves."

Grubber paced along side her. "Yo, for a second there, I thought you were gonna... ya know."

She back hoofed in him the gut.

"THAT is for ever thinking I'd ever do this to someone else." Tempest's horn crackled madly.

"S-sorry, Tempest." Grubber grunted as he followed behind her holding his bruised stomach. "Wasn't thinking."

Session 67.3 Kendell2*MOVIE SPOILERS*

*Spoilers for MLP Movie- Read at your own Risk*

Tempest Shadow gave another once over of the city, looking for any stragglers. She wasn't afraid to be alone, like any of the ponies in this town could stand a chance. The Storm King's enforcer paused, feeling something not right.

Out of nowhere, a white blur rushed out of the shadows and aimed a punch right at her head, forcing her to block. She retaliated with several blows of her own, which where likewise blocked. The two exchanged blows for a few moments before they finally locked each other and she could see who attacked her. "...Prince Shining Armor...and here I thought you'd run away."

Shining Armor said nothing, he merely continued trying to punch the mare's face in. And to his credit, Tempest was actually being pushed.

"No words for the one who turned your wife to stone?" asked the mare, shoulder tossing the Prince, only for him to catch himself, jump off a wall and come back with a flying kick she had to dodge.

"...Why?" Shining asked, the two continuing to fight.

Tempest lowered her head and fired off her unstable magic burst. Shining's legendary shields held, stopping it. "The Storm King is going to make me whole for this."

Shining's eyes focused on her horn. "...I'm sorry about your horn...but I'm not sorry about what I'm going to do."

"Because I'm the bad guy?" asked Tempest, almost mockingly as the two continued to exchange blows. 'He's actually good...Guess that's what I should expect from the Captain of the Royal Guard...'

"No...because my family and country are at stake!" Shining growled, the two continuing to exchange blows.

Tempest smirked as she and Shining caught one another's blows. "...Maybe I'll hurt her WORSE if you don't give up."

"...You wouldn't."

Tempest gave a cold look. "Try me."

Shining...stopped and held his head down.

"And this is what attachment gets you..." Tempest said, walking over and preparing to put a horn seal on him...only for him to suddenly punch her in the stomach with a front hoof, doubling her over.

"Nice try...but I've been listening in and watching, you CAN'T touch Cadence even if you really are that heartless," Shining replied, taking advantage and punching the mare in the face, hard. "And even if I didn't, Cadence wouldn't WANT me to..." Shining stopped himself and continued to press his advantage, raining blows on Tempest and finally throwing her harshly into the wall.

Tempest groaned, opening her eyes to find Shining Armor's horn to her face, glowing with power in preparation for a spell at point blank. "Dirty move..."

"A wise pony once said that in a real battle 'seek victory not fairness'," Shining replied, preparing his most powerful stun spell and blocking Tempest's attempt to hit him in the horn to stop it. He didn't mention said 'wise pony' was an anthropomorphic rat on a radio drama about mutant ninja turtles.

...At which point he heard paw steps coming.

Tempest was blinded by a flash bang spell at point blank. When her eyes cleared, Shining Armor was gone.

"Tempest, you okay?" asked Grubber, seeming concerned.

Tempest growled, getting back to her hooves. "Find him!"

"Who?"

"Shining Armor! Find him!"

"That was risky..." said 8-Bit, hoofing Shining Flurry Heart back.

Shining hugged his daughter. "Not as risky as letting her get closer until we were ready..." he replied. "Please tell me we're ready..."

"We got every teleport capable unicorn we could find who hadn't been captured and they're ready..." Gaffer said. "...Shining, are you SURE you don't want to try and get Cadence?"

Shining looked down sadly. "...I want to...you know how much I do..." He nuzzled his daughter, who was crying. "...But Cadence would want Flurry Heart out of here...besides, if they catch her, they'll have all the ponies they'll need for their ritual, and I don't care what it is, we can't allow that to happen. For not just her sake, but EQUESTRIA'S."

His friends nodded. The group walked over to the circle of unicorns already preparing their spell. "Alright, let's get out of there." He joined in in the spell, holding his crying daughter and trying to comfort her. 'Cadence...hold on, I know Twiley will stop them...somehow...'

In a flash, the group had vanished without a trace.

OOC: I felt it needed explained where Shining and Flurry are, and clearly Flurry Heart DIDN'T get captured or they wouldn't NEED Twilight.

And I thought if ANYONE could match or overpower Tempest, it'd be Shining, the Captain of the Royal Guard.

Session 67.4 Mtangalion

Movie spoilers....

In the midst of the trek through the oppressively hot desert south of the Badlands, Rarity Belle looked at her face in a mirror compact and shrieked. “Twilight Sparkle, you cancel this ‘protective spell’ of yours this instant! Just look at these awful bags under my eyes! It was bad enough when I was merely dehydrated, but now I look like I’ve been working without sleep for days!”

“But it’s important to protect everypony from gorgon venom!” protested Twilight. She took the empty dark green casing that she’d carried in her magic all this way, and discarded it, having learned all she could. “I guess I could tweak the anti-venom matrix a little bit.”

“A little bit!” exclaimed Spike. “You even made me sick, and this desert isn’t even hot to me.”

“But Spike, this is important research! Even aside from the obvious practical applications, it’s fascinating that someone actually managed to weaponize…”

Rainbow Dash clenched a hoof. “Do we have to talk about this now? Ugh, I still can’t believe we let a bunch of bullies sail up in a few airships and walk all over us. Where was the Guard? Besides your brother, I mean. What do we even have a Guard for?!”

Twilight grimaced. “I’m not much of a princess, but I know I didn’t mess that up. I ordered extra security, not no security at all! When I find out where they’ve been…”

Meanwhile, in the Realm of Chaos, Day Guards in red tabards shouted out a cheerful battle cry, which was loudly and energetically answered by hovering Night Guards in blue. They charged across gingerbread bridges that spanned tapioca pudding rivers, hacking and slashing with big foam rubber weapons that made cartoonish honks and boops and whistles when they landed a blow.

The new Day Guard commander, hoof-picked by the departing Shining Armor, looked up at the tie-dyed sky with a pleading expression. “Sir Discord, if you can hear this… No offense, the lads are all appreciative and we’ve had a marvelous good time with this new battle training but… it’s been days! Can we please go home now?”

Session 67.5 Alex Warlorn*MOVIE SPOILERS*

'Ninety-nine bottles of sunshine on the wall, Ninety-nine bottles of sunshine.' Celestia thought to herself as she was petrified like a trophy with her sister and niece. She owed an apology to Discord when this was over. She should have provided him with some read material.

Her heart leapt when she saw Philomena sneak in, the fire bird landing on her owner and looking ready to tear up.

'That's it Philomena! Good girl! Good girl! I'll give you an extra large bird bath when this is-' One of the guards caught her and put her in a fireproof cage. 'Drat.'

'And we'll name our second foal Skyla if it's a girl, and maybe Blizzard Heart if it's a boy.' Cadence thought. '... I really hope I hallucinated Chrysalis sneaking in here just so she could wag her flank at me.'

'This little horsie went to Timbucktu, this little horsie went to Prance.' Luna sang to herself.

Session 67.6 Kendell2*MOVIE SPOILERS*

"So...how exactly do you play this again?" asked Capper as the group hid in his house. Twilight was busy looking through one of his books and it was still awhile before Verko was supposed to show up.

"You have an O&O game here and never played it?" asked Rainbow Dash, looking it over and blowing a thick layer of dust off it.

Capper shrugged. "Don't have anyone to play it with. Just...found it..." he said. 'In someone's suitcase I snagged and couldn't find anyone to buy it...'

"You? You seem like the life of a party, the way you handled that crowd out there," the cyan pegasus. Sure, the six of them probably could've handled those thugs if they had to (a bunch of street thugs didn't have anything on the Changeling army and the Storm King's invasion force after all), but it was better for staying low to NOT get involved in a huge brawl.

"Eh, that was just me knowing how to work the crowd," the feline replied. "And have you SEEN those guys? Think I'd be caught dead hanging out with half of 'em?" 'That and it's easier to play them for suckers if they DON'T know me.'

"Well sit down, we've got some time while we figure stuff out, we can always play later when this whole mess is over with," Rainbow replied.

Capper's eyes went wide. "Wait...you WANT to play a game with me? Why?"

"Because you're our friend, it's kinda what they do..." the cyan pegasus replied. "Or at least what WE do. You'd be far from the weirdest sight on game night..."

"...Do you bet in O&O?"

Rainbow raised an eyebrow. "No...you raid dungeons and beat up evil bosses, sometimes save a princess or two."

The feline for a second looked perplexed before regaining his composure. "I...Sure, sounds great..."

"Cool...now you strike me as a Rogue...or maybe a Bard. High charisma score is a MUST for a guy like you."

OOC: Capper explicitly says 20 minutes. And that ALSO required the guy to TELL Verko to meet him in 20 minutes. The screentime that passed wasn't that amount of time, so something else must have happened in the meantime, right?

Session 67.7 Alex Warlorn*MOVIE SPOILERS*

*WARNING! MOVIE SPOILERS!*

As Rara and Sapphire Shores hung in bird (song bird?) cages next to each other, Sapphire Shore dared desturb the silence.

"There's one thing I don't get."

"Where they got those creepy black and green orbs that turned our goddesses to stone?" Rara asked.

"No. You're number one, for now." Sapphire made clear that Rara's sudden and complete change in music styles had been a golden opportunity for her rival. It wasn't hateful or underhanded, it was just competition between two artists. "I'm number two, for now. While Songbird Serenade is number three in Equestria's charts... how did SHE get to sing at Equestria's Friendship Festival and not us?"

"Maybe because we are popular? Maybe she wanted to give a lesser known singer a break?"

Sapphire thought about it for a moment. "... Yeah, I'll buy that."

--

The Mane Six and Spike... on board the airship, the Madam Harpy, were facing being thrown overboard, when the crew had stopped to break for lunch. It was clear that serving as a cargo ship for the Storm King's shoddy Chineighs merchandise wasn't their idea of a happy life.

RD had bought so much Wonderbolts junk, (now with her face on some of it) that she recognized the style that they weren't selling products, they were selling a brand. RD would have given it no mind, but Spike spotted something that DID get his attention, and pulled it out of one of the crates.

"YOU'RE KIDDING!" Spike said, holding up the box set. "The Storm King has his own Ogres and Oubliettes expansion?!" Spike read the back. "'Now you too can enjoy the awesomeness of conquering Equestria just like your coolest evil Overlord The Storm King.' You've GOT to be kidding!!!"

Spike and Twilight looked at each other, like something they loved dearly had just been tainted beyond repair. Twilight and Spike BOTH wondered if they could ever look at their O&O books the same again.

Captain Celaeno said, not getting up and not trying to stop him. "Hey, be careful with those, we were supposed to deliver those already, but we got a three day order to just sit on them."

None of the mane six needed to ask why that was. It made Twilight shiver, so they planned to have her by then?"

"Real problem for us." The eye patched pirate parrot said. "We've got a LOT of pre-orders for that stuff! And when people pay for stuff in advance, they really don't like delays. And we're stuck explaining to the retailers. Why can't we just deliver them to the retailers and tell THEM to hold onto it? Seems really screwy if you ask me."

Rarity's eyes for detail spotted a series of gift baskets, all addressed to the Storm King, filled with compensation of various types.

The first one caught Rarity's attention.

It was a photo of Queen Chrysalis holding a bundle of roses with an open mouth smile and playfully winking with x's and o's at the bottom. Rarity dared read what was written on the photo. "Hugs and kisses from your bestest best ~~friend~~ ally soon to be diplomatically recognized queen of the true changelings. Be sure not to break the pink Alicorn after petrifying her and harvesting her magic.'" The ponies looked each other.

"'I have feelings for her-'" Rarity continued. The ponies looked at each other bewildered, sick, and blushing.

"-'that can only be expressed through her being petrified with a sledge hammer.'"

The ponies cringed, "Okay, THAT sounds like the queen meanie we know." Pinkie Pie admitted.

"We have an official Storm King sledge hammer she ordered." Grin the eye-patch wearing pirate held up a large sledge hammer with the Storm King's logo on the side with a pretty blue bow wrapped on it.

"And we have a delivery to make to Tartarus, or a drop off that leads to Tartarus," Captain Celaeno explained.

There was another photo of Tirek in his scrawny form with his hood, two thumbs up, grinning.

"'Knock them dead kiddo, literally!'"

"I see he knows that any good business requires good connections." Rarity commented in spite of herself.

Spike meanwhile was reading through the expansion's rule book. "Geeze, these Obsidian Orbs are really overpowered. How did he even make them?! OH! Sorry Twilight!" Spike slammed the book closed seeing the look on Twilight's face, being reminded of seeing her Sister In Law, along with her Aunts In Laws (and one being like a second mother) turned into black stone statues before her eyes, eating through magic barriers that even Sombra had had trouble with. Spike was kinda confused, Twilight HAD been okay before, researching the gorgon grenades... oh right.

With his tail Spike hide four black stone mini-figurines of the four princesses behind him.

Session 67.8 Grogar-the-oneser (WITH EDITS)*MOVIE SPOILERS*

Twilight cringed abit at the sight of four toys, seeing Luna, Cadence, Celestia and herself, but instead of herself, she saw Derpy. The pegasus was one who took the grenade hit for her. 'Hope they didn't do anything bad to her in that state.'

"Err, shouldn't we have broken that statue of the pegasus that mess with our plans?" A Storm Trooper question in there own tongue.

"Nah, there no profit in destroying someone who's probably suffering infinite boredom and possible itchy limbs," a second Storm Trooper stated.

'AHHH!! MY NOSE IS SOO ITCHY!' Derpy thought. 'HOW CAN IT BE ITCHY WHEN YOUR ENTIRE SKIN IS STONE!'

"I'm surprise you found one relatively intact," Celaeno stated, "They're made to be durable on the inside and fragile on the outside."

"Umm... shouldn't it be both ways?" Fluttershy said.

"Nope, outside is for quick release and the inside is cause gorgon venom eats away at anything, especially if it's magic, the stronger the magic, the quicker it eats it away," Mullet stated.

"Oh... so that's why Tempest only had four," Twilight said (not knowing about the one done to Discord, five). "They're hard to manufacture!"

Session 67.9 Kendell2*MOVIE SPOILERS*

Spike blinked as Rainbow Dash got the pirates back in their swashbuckling mood. "Huh...That's interesting..."

Twilight looked over. "What?"

"Listen to this: 'Be careful of fire, your Yeti minions are surprisingly flammable and will take three times fire damage from any fire based attack'," Spike read from the rule book. "Maybe next time we run into those things I'll try breathing fire on them."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Spike, do you really think the Storm King is stupid enough to publish his army's weaknesses in a board game?"

"But what if that's what he WANTS us to think so we WON'T try that?" Spike asked.

"I don't think he's THAT smart either."

"Why did I do that?" asked the Storm King, still on his way to Equestria to one of his minions. "Glad you asked! You see, those games won't be released until I've already become a god," he explained. "Now, you're probably thinking 'So?' And here's why. Right now, fire and Yetis obviously don't mix..." he said, grabbing a torch and holding it towards the Yeti.

The Yeti screamed and started trying to flee from it.

"Yes yes, I know 'Fire bad!' That's why I got that fire protection amulet, unfortunately I only had one, and my life is infinitely more important than yours," the King replied, not seeming to care about his minion being deathly afraid of the fire. "But once I'm a god, they try to use fire against us? BOOM!" He poured a glass of water on the torch, putting it away. "I just conjure up a rain storm! Or a blizzard! A flash flood! And then their fire is useless...And that's if I don't just smite them with lighting, I'm honestly looking forwards to be able to smite people."

The Storm King looked back to the minion. "You see, that's the glorious part about this: yes, the game WILL reveal weaknesses...after they're ALREADY useless! If anyone tries to use them on us, they're just setting themselves up to fail! Good way to flush out any rebellion And if Tempest fails in her mission? Just cancel the game, no skin off my nose. The only possible way this could backfire is if someone just happened to find the game before I arrive, and the only known copies are in the middle of the sky right now waiting to be delivered on my say so. And anyone who looks at them right now, before I've won causing them to become increasingly desperate to find my weaknesses, would probably just assume I'm too smart to include my weaknesses in a board game so they WON'T try to exploit them..." he explained. "That cover it?"

The minion nodded.

"Good, now leave me be while I practice my triumphant victory speech."

Session 67.10 QuartzScale *MOVIE SPOILERS*

King Blackthorn, the new Deer king, stood on the outskirts of the Everfree Forest watching as the Storm King’s forces stood around the Friendship Castle. There were too many to deal with and their take down of the Changeling Kingdom headed by King Thorax and the defeat of Discord made them think twice about fully attacking.

“Do you think we can take care of them one by one to get the foals out of there?” Cheerilee asked quietly.
Blackthorn thought over his position as Aspen stood by with many of his warriors ready to enter the fray as well. Aspen nodded and sent the troops out with their specialty alchemical potions.

“This will be touch and go, but do not worry for it won’t be so. These specialty potions of mine, will quiet them before they whine.” Zecora answer as she handed out a few more potions for everyone to use.

“Cheerilee was it? I hate to ask this but we’re going to need to play a game for this to get the foals out."

“A game at this time. Really?” Cheerilee scowled but she knew that it wasn’t going to be fun.

“We need a pony to act as bait. Then we’ll capture the forces when they try to capture you. We can only do it so much but we can extend the time so long as the deer remain hidden. I’m sorry to ask this but if it is for the foals then we must do this as best as we can. While we handle this aspect Zecora shall get the children out. Did you finish your camouflage potion?” Blackthorn looked towards the Zebra Shaman.

“Yes things are ready, I must remain steady. This potion is still experimental but if I am seen I won’t go gentle.” Zecora smirked as she pulled out a small light blue potion.

“Then we have a plan I suppose. We can’t only do this as best as we can.” Blackthorn grimaced as everyone took their place for the plan.

~~~

“Yoo hoo~! Over here.” Cheerilee called out to several of the guards milling about Ponyville. “I know where Twilight Sparkle is!”
The guards immediately took after the small pony that knew where the last princess was. Cheerilee raced into the forest dodging and weaving around the tree roots and underbrush.

“C’mon boys! Follow the pony!” Cheerilee stopped and stuck her tongue at the soldiers as they fumbled around the small paths of the forest.

Before they could catch her the lead guard noticed something was off. He looked behind him only to find nothing but air. All the guards that had followed him were gone. Before he could cry out for backup several vines shot out from the forest wrapping themselves around the soldier crushing it in its embrace. The guard was rendered unconscious and stored with the rest of the soldiers. One guard was conscious and in sudden fear as a deer stood over him. A white deer that was larger than any of the others.

“Hello there. I left you conscious so you would tell me where the foals are. If you yell then the vines will find a new place to burrow into.” Aspen muttered under his breath to the conscious guard as the vines seemed to follow his will and scrape along the guard’s head. “Tell me where the foals are or we finally make a new rafflesia, otherwise know as a corpse flower. I’ve been dying to see one bloom again.”

The guard whimpered as the vines released his mouth and the guard spilled the beans on where the foals could be found. Then the guard passed out from fear.

“Were you really going to do that?” Cheerilee warily asked.

“No. But he needed to think that. I’ve needed to change a lot over these past few months and while I am still working on it, that edge doesn’t disappear. Especially when children are on the line.” Aspen answered evenly as he stared off into the distance.

~~

Zecora made her way to the pens where the children were kept and remained hidden in the brush outside of it. There were less guards for certain but that still didn’t mean that it was less dangerous. Drinking the potion Zecora turned invisible and used that time to sneak over towards the pens vaulting over the walls into the area. Strangely none of the guards were inside though it was obvious from the exhausted look on all the children’s faces that they were considered useless at this time. The CMC, Silver, Diamond, and a few others dressed up in frilly show pony costumes for their size.

“Applebloom please wake up, this is not the time to stop.” Zecora found the small filly sleeping off to the side.

“Zecora… issat you?” Applebloom groggily muttered as she opened her eyes to nozebra around.

“I’m invisible to everyone’s sight. Allow me to show my might.” Zecora spin kicked the lock off the cage allowing Applebloom to rouse the others from their slumber. It took some effort to make certain everyone kept quiet since there were still guards around.

“Ok everypony let’s get ready for our escape. Zecora do you know which way we can go?” Applebloom asked the thin air for the general location Zecora was in confusing everypony until she spoke again.

“Follow me and remain close. We’ll remain hidden just like ghosts.” Zecora started to pull a part of one of the back panels in the pen. Cautiously she looked out and noticed several deer in the shadows of the trees across from her. The guards were milling about as one of them tapped his hoof against a tree with a three count.

“When I count to three you must all flee. Head for the forest of deer, for we cannot stay here.” Zecora showed all the colts and fillies who while shaky nodded in affirmative as they saw the deer.

“One… two… three.” Zecora shuddered.

All the foals ran for the forest as the guard immediately noticed them. As they got close several vines shot out from the ground slamming them into the floor knocking them out. Zecora remained at the back using her own fighting style to knock any guards that got too close and managed to get out of the vines.

As the foals cleared the tree line Cheerilee led them deeper into the forest with their own manticore guard force courtesy of the deer kingdom. Aspen remained at the forefront using his magic to aid Zecora as she ran into the forest. With a little luck they evaded the guards that still chased after them who were unfamiliar with the forest layout.

Session 67.11 Alex Warlorn (With bits by Ardashir) MOVIE SPOILERS! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

When the invasion had begun, Dinky had of course been at Canterlot with her family, no way was she going to miss the friendship festival with so much ice cream!

Then her mother had taken the gorgon grenade meant for Princess Twilight Sparkle.

"MOOOOOOOOOOMAAAAAA!" Dinky had cried at the top of her lungs, racing towards the black statue of her mother, thinking she could use her magic or something to help her.

"Dinky we have to go!" Amethyst Star shouted, grappling her little sister, then giving up and dragging her away with her magic.

"No! We have to help mooomaaa!"

"We can't help her right now!" Amethyst Star snapped.

'Muffins! RUN!' Derpy thought knowing her babies couldn't hear her.

Amethyst Star fled, Dinky crying rivers, still reaching out for her mother. Amethyst Star ran into Doctor Whooves and shoved her into the hooves of the crazy scientist. "Take her and go!" Amethyst Star said in a tone that left no room for Whooves' regular arguing.

The Doctor nodded and ran.

The Storm Troopers very much stormed after them. Amethyst Star wasn't about to let that happen. "Oh you who! Look at me! Look at me!" Amethyst Star said waving her arms like a chicken with its head cut off. Then tried to blast them with her magic, with their armor harmlessly absorbed.

Amethyst Star was bruised and beaten by the time she was shackled and bridled, along with the other Gifted Unicorns. She also had a perfect view of her mother's 'statue' where it was moved.

-

'ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES LUNA A DULL MARE. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES LUNA A DULL MARE. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES LUNA A DULL MARE. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES LUNA A DULL MARE. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES LUNA A DULL MARE. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES LUNA A DULL MARE... Okay, enough of that. I need to stop watching those horror movies everypony keeps asking me to see. Now I believe I was on page page 37, paragraph 3, line 2 of the Equestrian tax code... ' Luna though to herself as she continued to revise the Equestria tax code as she discovered her magic was completely sealed in this state. It made her time banished to the moon seem like paradise. 'And I'm fairly certain we can do WITHOUT a department for the proper treatment of squirrels.'

'And Investigator Sundial noticed that while widow Widdle Pine insisted she loved her husband, the wealthy mare's wedding band was unpolished, and unkept.' Celestia thought mentally writing that mystery novel she'd always wanted to but never had the time. She'd gotten some written while sealed in the sun, but she'd also had no paper to write that time too.

'I do NOT feel insecure for not being able to stop that petrification bomb stain-glass Twilight!' Cadence said, having a heated conversation with the stain-glass depiction of her sister-in-law that she had a view of from where she was kept.

'I'm just saying that everypony wishes they could do more when bad stuff happens. There's nothing ashamed of feeling that way. You nearly killed yourself from exhaustion keeping the Crystal Empire safe from Sombra, and a new weapon you've never seen before trounces it like nothing? It's okay to feel down.'

'Remember you tried your best, and that's what matters!' Said stained-glass Pinkie Pie.

'At least you make a lovely statue darling, but I'd have picked a better pose,' Added stained-glass Rarity.

'At least they haven't found Flurry Heart or Twilight yet, or they would have brought them here too.' Stain glass Fluttershy offered.

'Tell me more about your second life as Shining Harmer!' Stain-glass Rainbow Dash said.

'I like pin-cones!' said stain-glass Trixie (put in after Chrysalis' defeat).

Another voice said, 'You know... I think that while Celestia and Luna have experience with being sealed, you do not, which is causing you to begin to crack mentally.'

'SHUT UP GHOST OF SOMBRA!' Cadence mentally shouted.

-

In the Human World.

"That fake Somnambula is lucky she never met me," Adagio grinned like a shark. "Ever heard of Grogar the pony paladin? No? That's because I left him a brain-damaged drooling mess for the rest of his life!"

Meanwhile the human Starlight Glimmer had no idea whose bright idea it was to introduce a 'bounty' system in this game, or why her character seemed to be the only one targeted, leaving her character able to be player-killed! Over, and over, and over by greedy players looking for those extra gems and experience points and Dive Mode meter boasts. Didn't this go against the spirit of what was supposed to be a TEAM game? This was all so unfair!

-

Back On Equus.

"Wait wait wait, back up," Princess Skystar said, waving her fins about. "You've met REAL seaponies?"

"Yep! This isn't the first time we've gotten gills and flippers," Rainbow Dash explained, doing a loop-de-loop in the water.

"Well I guess that doesn't explain why you weren't more freaked out by me, or becoming seaponies."

"Technically darling seaponies have a curling tail, it's mere ponies that have a flat tail," Rarity explained.

"I'm sure you'd love to keep King Leo!" Flutterhy said.

'Now I know why Twilight just did the air bubble with me that time,' Spike thought, remembering that time, and fuming at his humiliating puff-fish form. First a dog, and now this? Why was it, whenever he got transformed, it was the short end of the stick?

"So where did ya get that sweet pearl anyway?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Could we just find another one?"

"Oh it was made by our ancestors," Skystar said quoting her history lessons. "Hippogriffs, being of both pony and griffin descent, back when a lot of griffins still wanted to see ponies as meat, and tensions were still high, we hippogriffs got together and with our best magic users we created the pearl to, 'fix' ourselves. To make us 'normal.' To make us pure griffins or pure ponies. But Princess Celestia however told us that we were perfect the way we are, and that we were already beautiful."

"So what did ya end up usin' it for?" AJ asked.

"Well, a troll once came to us, asking to be made something pretty so ponies wouldn't be afraid of him anymore. But we told him that he was already beautiful. It didn't feel right to change someone's appearance just because they'd turned good, I mean, it's what's on the inside after all. So mostly we use it for LARPing... when you can be anything, you can role-play as anything."

"But if you can ARE something, are you really roleplaying as it?" Pinkie Pie wondered tapping her hoof.

"Well, I have the regular books and dice too," Skystar said, showing them a tiny library.

It was a series of O&O books, all made water proof. Spike would have drooled if he could. First edition books?! ... Yeah, the 'Tyrant Sun' campaign module, definitely one of first modules written by princess Luna a super long time ago.

"I just haven't made many interested in playing other than my two friends," she held up her two clam puppets.

"Just one question," Applejack asked. "How do ya roll dice underwater?"

Session 67.12 Zaku789 MOVIE SPOILERS! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

Capper gasped as he swam upward. "Anyone else alive?"

"It'll take more than that to kill these pirates," Captain Celeano stated as she and her crew popped up one and another. "Though what used to be my ship is now sunk."

"We're lucky that unicorn thought the fall was going to kill us," Mullet stated. "Doubly so that those ponies escaped when they did since she probably have just killed us all and took the ship back to the Storm King Armada."

"Maybe so, but if I see those goons again, I'm going to make sure there going to be missing limbs." Celeano growled.

"Hey captain... doesn't that Abyssinian look familiar?" Lix asked.

"Hmm... Oh the stowaway!" Celeano said.

"What?" Capper questioned.

"You know, you took off with one of our ship and manage to escape with the Misfortune Malachite," Celeano said.

"... Oh you're the pirates," Capper said eyes widening.

"Yeah glad to see you're okay kid... though what happen to your buddy?" Mullet questioned.

"We had a falling out and I rather not discuss that topic any further," Capper replied.

"Very well, I can tell when something is a berserk button. Though I wonder about your connection to the ponies," Celeano said.

"Hmm, its weird... the were supposed to be a way to repay my debt, but they made me feel-"

"Like taking a risk?" Celeano questioned. "Yeah me too... Wonder if they're the ones who will finally defeat that jerk."

Session 67.13 QuartzScale *MOVIE SPOILERS*

Discord was perturbed. It took a lot to make him this perturbed. Once again he was in stone. A regular hat trick at this point though not as enjoyable. Still he knew how to pass the time like always only this time he was prepared. Something he built with Luna’s help and permission of course but still worked even though he was stone.

“Now let’s see if this works right…” Discord snapped his astral projected talons opening a door to a special mindscape of his that allowed him to test his creativity. He wasn’t as powerful but he did have freedom of movement that wouldn’t let his muscles atrophy either. “Was anypony else turned to stone…?”

Tensing his finely tuned senses towards the flow of magic he could feel four ponies all turned to stone and incapable of movement. It would take all his magic and focus but far be it from him to leave anypony to suffer being in stone for any longer than they should be. He would know personally.

~~

“And if the squirrels ask for a pay raise we can finish them off with nuts… though then we would need to pass legislation for nut surpluses.” Luna pondered the problem.

“If it helps I could conjure up a few more fields in Chaosville.” Discord’s voice rang out as a mental door opened for Luna.
Without waiting for any prompt she jumped at Discord and hugged him tight for getting her out of her boredom. Discord needed a mental chiropractor before he would go for Celestia.

~~

“I know who did it. It was-” Celestia pointed her hoof outward… only to be pointed at Luna. “Oh no my own sister did it… this cannot be!”

Luna smacked Celestia lightly making her realize that there was a way to stay sane other than write a mystery novel. She jumped through the doorway where Discord was being worked over by another Discord cracking his spine back into place.

“Was this one of your projects sister?” Celestia intoned to the large white room that the three immortals were in.

“Sort of. We need to get the other two ponies trapped in stone. Too long would drive anypony mad.” Luna lectured before using her magic alongside Discord summoning up his.

~~

“I did nothing wrong. I did as I was taught… but no I wasn’t good enough.” Cadance growled at the spirit of Sombra who may or may not actually be real but she wasn’t sure in the first place.

’You are losing it…’ Sombra spoke.

“Shut up!” Cadance screamed out flaring her mental wings in anger.

“Dear Cadance please calm thyself and follow us.” Luna called out snapping the pink alicorn out of her stupor.

“Aunties! Discord?” Cadance saw the draconequus lounging in a hot tub filled with chocolate syrup for some reason.

“Here to make sure you don’t go completely insane. Did you find your inner crazy already?” Discord poked at Cadance who was still a bit flustered from the white room and how things were being created for them through their mind.

“How?” Cadance started only for Discord to shush her.

“Not yet. I still have one more pony to find.” Discord summoned his spell again with Celestia donating some of her magic to open this last astral door.

~~

“Oh Celestia… Please someone scratch my nose!!” Muffins cried out when a door opened up to an old friend. Who immediately touched her nose and scratched it for her relieving all the strain she felt.

“Don’t worry about a thing my dear. For the receiver of the Muffin Button how could I not come to help.” Discord eloquently appeared.

“Oh thanks. I thought I would go MAD!” Muffins eyes locked onto Discord’s straightening out to stare into his.

“Would you care to join us in here?” Discord motioned to the White Room which Muffins flew straight into joining the other princesses who were seated around a table.

“Ah welcome my little pony. Would you care to join us for a session of Ogres and Oubliettes. It should help stave off the boredom until Twilight deals with this problem. Hurry Discord… I mean Sir Wuz it’s time to fight off a bandit horde.

Muffins queued up her character sheet as Discord looked over his handiwork. Luckily he made it in time before everypony went irrevocably mad from the isolation and stress.

Session 67.14 ArcanaMaverick7

"Okay, what's for game night today," Twilight asked as she adjusted her glasses.
Rainbow Dash smiled as she reached under the table to reveal the game she got. "This! The new 'SAFR' RPG that got released! I helped back it online and I got my copy earlier today!"

"Isn't that the internet show with the strange weapons," Applejack asked as she eyed the game cover. The box showcased numerous characters that had unique weapons and costumes.

"Those outfits are simply amazing! Can we actually create characters that could fit in the series," Rarity asked as she saw some of the more elaborate designs of the characters.

"That's the point," Rainbow Dash said as she started to open the box. Twilight and Sunset started to look over the rule book as Rainbow Dash kept talking. "We can have superpowers, slay Grimm, and use all these awesome weapons as we fight bad guys!"

"This is going to be so much fun," Pinkie said as she was randomly dressed as a character from the 'SAFR' series, complete with a folding hammer that doubled as a grenade launcher. "What do you guys think?"

"This is actually a lot for just the character creation," Sunset noted as she and Twilight checked out one chapter. "Apparently, it's following the lore of the show and our character names have to follow the same 'Color Naming Rule'."

"Well, I'm sure that limits a few choices for names that we had," Applejack said as she turned to Fluttershy.

Twilight took another look at the page in the rule book that made mention of the 'Color Naming Rule'. "It says here, 'Characters must have a first, middle, or last name that either is a color, sounds like a color, means a color, or reminds you of a color.' It can probably be in any language as long it fits any of those criteria."

"Oh, so you could use animals, flowers, or gems for name ideas," Fluttershy asked as she looked at some of the figurines that came with the game.

"If that's the case, I'm sure that I have a spectacular idea for my character," Rarity stated as she grabbed a character sheet and started writing.

"You know, the teams in the show are made of four characters each," Sunset reminded. Everyone looked at her before she continued. "We're going to need another player."

Session 67.15 Alex Warlorn

*MOVIE SPOILERS*

"'And Sundial said, 'Oh, didn't you know, there was a second witness on the balcony.' 'What?' Replied Miss Pine. 'Oh yes,' Sundial lied with a straight face.'"

"Celly what are you doing?" Luna asked as they were in the mental white room meant to keep them sane while they were petrified.

"Lulu, this is the only time I have to write my mystery novel. I can play Ogres and Oubliettes in a blue moon with the tabloid photographers aren't watching, but actually having the peace and quiet to write my novel? I honestly thought it would take Twilight and her friends a year to free me from being sealed in the sun."

Session 67.16 Ardashir *MOVIE SPOILERS!*

While the Storm King ran amok in Equestria and Tempest searched for Twilight Sparkle, down below the waves her quarry watched her friends go into a large chamber with the sea ponies.

"Okay," she whispered. "Now they'll keep Queen Novo's people busy, and I can get what I need to," she looked at the pearl and swallowed, feeling a sudden and quite unreasonable wave of guilt, "to save Equestria."

For some reason she remembered one of her earliest O&O session with her brother.

"But the artifact would really help us!" She gave her big brother a dirty look. "Besides, they're not using it! How can it possibly be immaterial for me to take it?"

"'Immoral', not 'immaterial'," her brother said, looking down at the tiny filly from behind the Overseer screen. "It means you're doing something wrong."

"So I can't?" Twilight pouted.

"Of course you can," Shiny said. As she smiled in sudden joy -- she'd never been told she could do something wrong before -- her smile faded as he sternly added, "But just remember: actions have consequences, good and bad alike."

Shaking her head, Twilight swam towards the shining gem...

Meanwhile in the next room, as the older ponies danced or at least swam to the music, Spike, currently a Pufferfish, sulked a little.

"Spike, dear, what's wrong?" Rarity swam over. She smiled and reached out one fin to stroke him, stopping at the last moment. "You look even more unhappy than I would have thought."

"It's just," Spike sighed. "Rarity, you remember when Twilight told you all about our trip to the human world? How I was a little upset I was a talking dog?" She nodded. "Well, then I at least had hands. Now?" He held up a fin. "This is even more humiliating! I feel like I'm a floating head. All I need is some eyestalks and I'd be an Eye of the Deep!"

"They have those on the surface?" One little sea pony foal asked. Behind her was several more, watching Spike avidly. When Rarity and Spike shook their heads no, she swam a little closer and asked, "Mister Spike, would you play with us? We don't get to play a lot down here like we used to on the surface." She looked wistful and sad. "There was this one game in particular..."

"Huh? Sure!" Spike swam into the middle of the little sea pony school. "What game? O&O? That one Trixie loves with the crazy computer?"

The little sea ponies smiled, and Spike felt a stab of fear.

"Not quite..."

Moments later Rarity watched, trying and failing to hide her smile, as Spike sailed back and forth between two groups of little sea ponies. The foals laughed and swam in circles. They didn't touch Spike; they used the water whipped up by their tails to make a focused small current and send Spike rolling head over tailfin between each group.

"It's fun to play dodgeball again!" One of the foals cried.

Spike yelled just one thing.

"I REMEMBER WHY I HATE THIS GAME!"

Fluttershy noticed what was happening with Spike and the little sea ponies and began to swim over to them. "Oh, dear! Be careful, little ones!"

She stopped as a male sea pony swam in front of her.

"Why? What's going on?" He looked and, to her shock, seemed utterly unaffected. "Oh, that? They won't hurt him ---"

"You got a lousy definition of hurt, buddy!" Spike yelled as he rolled head over tail.

"...And we're immune to pufferfish venom," the sea pony finished. As Fluttershy sighed in relief, he added, his voice hardening slightly, "We learned our lesson earlier. We wouldn't make him anything dangerous, like how we wouldn't leave the Pearl unguarded. Say, where's your purple friend, anyway?"

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 67.0 QuartzScale *MOVIE SPOILERS*
Session 67.1 Alex Warlorn
Session 67.2 Alex Warlorn*MOVIE SPOILERS*
Session 67.3 Kendell2*MOVIE SPOILERS*
Session 67.4 Mtangalion *MOVIE SPOILERS*
Session 67.5 Alex Warlorn*MOVIE SPOILERS*
Session 67.6 Kendell2*MOVIE SPOILERS*
Session 67.7 Alex Warlorn*MOVIE SPOILERS*
Session 67.8 Grogar-the-oneser (WITH EDITS)*MOVIE SPOILERS*
Session 67.9 Kendell2*MOVIE SPOILERS*
Session 67.10 QuartzScale *MOVIE SPOILERS*
Session 67.11 Alex Warlorn (With bits by Ardashir) MOVIE SPOILERS! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!
Session 67.12 Zaku789 (with edits!) MOVIE SPOILERS!
Session 67.13 QuartzScale *MOVIE SPOILERS*
Session 67.14 ArcanaMaverick7
Session 67.15 Alex Warlorn *MOVIE SPOILERS*
Session 67.16 Ardashir *MOVIE SPOILERS!*

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Picture by HeartlyRosalie, used with permission.

https://heartlyrosalie.deviantart.com/art/ClericShy-701159316

Session 68 (movie spoilers)

Session 68.0 ArcanaMaverick7 (continued from Session 67.14)

"Well, we can just focus on making our characters and getting them started on their journey for today," Rainbow Dash said as she started adding details for her character.

"Yeah, you're right," Sunset agreed. "We can have another player join after we make our characters."

After several minutes, the girls all finished up their character sheets and started to share what they made. "Okay, who wants to introduce their character first," Twilight asked.

"Allow me," Rarity said before she cleared her throat. "My character's name is Lucy Diamond. The last name is obvious, but the name 'Lucy' means 'light'. She's an elegant girl who was born and raised in the high society of her home country, but she felt like it wasn't entirely for her. While her family runs a company with dubious connections to the black market, Lucy was always a kind and generous girl growing up. Doing what she could to help others in any way she could, Lucy believed she could do more. When she was on a trip to the Dust mines with her father, there was a Grimm attack that nearly killed Lucy and all the workers. Luckily, a Huntress was nearby and responded to the monsters, saving everyone. Inspired by the hero she saw, Lucy decided to become a Huntress herself and began her training."

With the backstory explained, Rarity started elaborating on the weapons and skills of her character. "She uses a rapier that holds several types of Dust crystals for a variety of attacks. She also has a Semblance that allows her to create glowing shards of crystal to attack from a distance. The crystals break on impact with their target, but they can pierce into thick armor when grouped together into larger formations."

"Huh, nice. I've got my character all set up too," Applejack said as she looked over her character sheet again. "Malus Granite. Her first name means 'apple'. She grew up on a farm with her family, but she wanted to become a Huntress after seeing a Huntsman rescue several farmhands from a Grimm attack. She managed to get training in while she did her chores and she soon got so strong, she was able to make holes in full-grown trees by punching them. She uses martial arts in combat with some metal boots that have ax blades and she can control plants with her Semblance."

OOC: That's what I have so far for characters that the girls made up. I'll figure out more later.

Session 68.1 Alex Warlorn *Movie Spoilers*

Sapphire Shores looked over the contract. She's been dragged from her cage, and sat down in one of Canterlot's law offices. The collar around her neck had two hooked on rods being held by a storm guard each on either side of her.

One of the Storm Troops, looking rather strange in his business suit while still wearing his tribal mask, explained, 'We were going to sign the Countess, but after her style change, we concluded that she'd narrowed her demographic, while your work remains the most mainstream." Sapphire wasn't sure if she should take that a compliment or not.

"This is of course your big chance to have your business distributed all over half the world. And all of the world very soon. This is of course a great honor, the Storm King only employs the best as you can imagine.

"All your music will be released under the Storm King label. All ideas and creative works and variances there of will be the intellectual property of the Storm King, including but not limited to your name."

Sapphire cringed.

Session 68.2 Grogar-the-Oneser *Movie Spoilers*

"Umm... I may have to think on that one." Two of the storm guards glared at her. "Not cause I don't think your master is great, far from it it just that the idea is a bit... shocking is all."

"Hmm... very well we will give you seven days. I strongly suggest you make the right decision." At the business suit one snapped his fingers, Sapphire gagged as both her handlers pulled on there rods as they dragged her away.

Session 68.3 Kendell2 *Movie Spoilers*

"Hey, have you ever played Rainbows and Crystals?" Pinkie Pie asked as they re examining Skystar's game collection.

The Princess blinked. "No, never heard of it."

the Pink Party Pony gave a wide eyed gasp. "You. Would. Love. It!" she said.

"You think so?!"

"Yes! It's happy, fun, and friendly!"

"I love all of those things!"

"So do I! And the people in an alternate universe made a computer game version of it that's so much fun!"

Skystar looked completely lost, but smiled anyway. "...I don't understand a word you just said, but it sounds fun!"

"...So, Skystar and Pinkie Pie are getting along great," Rainbow Dash said, swimming around. "Is anypony surprised?"

The rest of the group shook their heads.

"Didn't think so...So...anypony else have a comment?"

"...I'm STILL a Pufferfish!" Spike complained, puffing. "I swear if I turn into one more humiliating thing..."

"Ah come on Spike, at least nothing will EAT you now," said Rainbow Dash.

"She's right, you're extremely poisonous," Fluttershy pointed out. "Pufferfish have a tetrodotoxin 1,200 times more poisonous than cyanide and each one has enough toxin to kill 30 ponies...And there's no known antidote except for certain magic spells..." she explained, seeming to find that trait fascinating.

Rainbow Dash gave a wide eyed look. "...I thought they were just covered in spikes..."

Spike looked...conflicted. "...That's either awesome...or disturbing..."

A Yeti, named Fluffy, stood guard over some slaves. He frowned under his helmet, watching as his fellows tried to get the town prepared for the King's arrival. The King despised the 'cutesy' look, but he'd wanted to paint some artwork of it before they did this. It wasn't entirely that it appealed to him (though he did have a fondness for white, it reminded him of home) but that he was so bored of black and blue and the Storm King's face...

He looked at the sad, depressed ponies behind him. He just felt...empty...Sad. Why were they doing this again? 'Honor' was what his family said...but he just didn't GET it. He'd never wanted to be a warrior or a conqueror. He just wanted to be back home painting the auroras and the mountain peaks, why couldn't he have that?

Honor...What was honorable about this again? Fighting monsters and exploring forbidden lands were the legends told in their myths and legends, that was how their legendary heroes found honor. Father Old Monkey * from which their people spawned from according to their legends sought out and asked the God of Compassion for the food to feed his family (their ancestors) and invented agriculture, that was how he got his fame. How was attacking somebody who couldn't fight back honorable? Didn't harming the innocent get you reincarnated as a lesser creature in your next life?

The Ponies seemed closer to Neighvana than their kind seemed at the moment, at least to Fluffy.

However, those things were not his job to think about. The Storm King didn't care about what he thought, and he'd defeated the chief of Fluffy's tribe in pitched combat. He was the Chieftain and Fluffy was just a drafted rank and file soldier, he had no say. He would just do what he was told, then maybe the Storm King would reward him with off time to paint.

* Inspired by the Pha Trelgen Changchup Sempa Legend of Tibet. Yetis come from Tibet, Storm King's actor originally imagined him as Tibetian, so seemed to make sense. There's also another part of the legend that the guy married a demon because otherwise she'd mate with another demon and their spawn would overrun the world, but that didn't feel very MLP. The direct translation of the name is 'Father Old Monkey Enlightenment Intention' so I just went with Father Old Monkey.' Also why Fluffy is thinking of things from a Buddist standpoint, given that's Tibet's main religion.

OOC: Decided to flesh out Fluffy some. Yeah, he's only in one scene, but come on: a minion who breaks down crying when faced with a pony who is empathetic towards him has to have a story, right?

Session 68.4 Kendell2 *Movie Spoilers*

"..." Twilight looked at Tempest from her cage. "...Will it really be worth it?"

Tempest growled. "What?"

"ALL of this, betraying your HOME, betraying your PEOPLE, causing all this suffering to Equestria and everywhere else you've helped the Storm King attack," Twilight asked. "When you get your horn back, do you really think it will be worth it?"

"...Of course it will be, it's all I've wanted for YEARS," the Storm King's enforcer replied.

"...Do you mean that, or is it just what you hope?" the Princess asked. "That after all this, your life will magically be perfect just because your horn is fixed because otherwise it was all POINTLESS?"

"Stop talking like you know me, you don't," Tempest replied coldly.

"...I know better than you think," Twilight replied. "...Trixie got the Alicorn Amulet because she wanted payback for being embarrassed, by the end it was anything but worth it. Sunset Shimmer wanted the power of the Element of Magic, in the end she was horrified with herself. Starlight Glimmer wanted revenge on me for ruining her Our Town plan, by the end it was weeks before she could SLEEP with what her actions caused."

Tempest snarled. "...Shut up..."

"...And I thought it'd be worth hurting my friends to get the Pearl to beat you and the Storm King...even if I'd succeeded, it wouldn't be worth it," the Princess finished, a look of pure guilt on her face. "When you're desperate, when you're HURT, it's so easy, isn't it? To say 'it will be worth it'?...I'm guilty of it too...But when it's all over, it's not...because in the end, it takes more than grabbing ONE thing to make all our pain go away. Especially if you just cause more trying to get it...After you get your horn back, you'll still be a bitter, you'll still be angry at the world, you'll still be the Storm King's minion, and you'll still be..."

"What?! Pathetic?! Evil?! A monster?!" Tempest asked, getting in the caged Princess's face, her horn crackling with energy against the bars.

"...Alone."

"..."

"In fact, you'll be more alone than ever, won't you? Because who will trust you ever again after you've betrayed and enslaved your own people and homeland?" Twilight gave a sympathetic, pleading look. "Please...stop this while there's still time. While there's still a chance to set things right."

Tempest kicked the cage and headed for the door. "Alone? Good...I don't need nobody else..."

"...That's where you're wrong..." Twilight said as the mare left the chamber. "...Not having anybody is how you ended up this way to begin with."

Princess Skystar slowly opened and closed her claws as Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and several of the pirates busied themselves making their 'Trojan Cake'.

"What are you doing?" asked Rainbow Dash, raising an eyebrow.

"Remembering what it's like to have talons!" replied the Hippogriff Princess. "I forgot what it was like!" she said, then kicked her back legs. "Oh! And backlegs! It's so weird!"

"Right...so how are you planning to help?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"Oh, I was thinking I'd just beat the bad guys up."

"...You know how to fight?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?" the bubbly Princess asked, seeming genuinely perplexed.

"...Just checking."

"So, darling," Rarity said to Capper. "How exactly DID you find us?"

"Knew which way you were heading and saw Tempest's ship take off," the cat replied. "...Hey...sorry for...you know, trying to sell you...If it means anything, by the end it was the first thing I've done in a long time I felt bad about..."

"It's fine, darling," Rarity replied with a small smile. "...Okay, it's not, that was very very uncouth...but you came through in the end, that's what's important."

Capper returned the smile. "Thanks..."

"Guys!" Spike called, running over. "Remember that book from the Storm King's stupid O&O expansion?"

"Yeah," Rainbow replied. "What about it?"

"Well turned out that I was RIGHT, he was using reverse psychology!" Spike explained. "He really WAS trying to trick us into not using the weaknesses by showing them in the O&O game! When I lit that Yeti on fire it sent him running REAL quick! They ARE weak to fire!"

"...Anything else?" Applejack asked, looking over.

"Listen to this: 'Remember, our gear is great against magic, just okay against everything else. Be very careful to use proper air support, weapons, and strategy against anything else,'" Spike read. "Their armor and shields are meant to protect them from MAGIC, it'll just be regular armor and shields against anything else!"

The group looked around at themselves.

"Well, looks like we're in luck," said Applejack. "Only Rarity's got any magic to use."

"And I am far from reliant on it," Rarity replied, showing some martial arts. "Bringing anti-magic to attack Canterlot was a wise decision, but it might be one we can exploit."

"And if the Storm King is doing what he does everywhere else he's attacked," Celaeno explained. "He's probably spread out his airships and forces to try and take over the surrounding area, Canterlot itself should only have ground troops with the defensive weapons working OUTWARDS to repel attackers, and if we take them off guard from inside the walls, they won't have time to come up with a plan and can't use those defenses."

"Wow...we actually have a PLAN," Rainbow Dash replied. "Here I thought we were just going to go in Leeroy Jenkins..."

"RD, I ALWAYS have a plan," Capper replied with a smile. "Just some are made up real quick on the fly. Give me time, and I can trick a dragon to part from his horde...We've just got a BETTER plan."

OOC: For the record, Princess Skystar turning out to be pretty kickflank in a fight was both awesome and funny in the movie.

And this is something I noticed: in the movie the Storm King's army seemed well protected from magic attacks, but didn't seem to have any clear advantage in MELEE range. It seemed largely the Storm King's strategy and advanced air fleet that let them handle things other than that.

And that's just COMMON SENSE when it comes to fortified structures: the defenses are naturally pointed OUTWARDS to prevent the enemy from getting inside in the first place, so if they DO, the defenders can't make use of them and are at a disadvantage. That's why the Trojan Horse was so effective.

Mainly trying to explain how the mane six and allies got the upperhand in the final battle how I saw it in my head.

Session 68.5 Mtangalion (with one line added by me) *Movie Spoilers*

(Movie spoilers, inspired by a chat with Alex)

Even though Princess Twilight was locked in a small metal cage, on board an airship and flying towards her almost certain doom, she still found it in herself to clap her hooves politely. “Nice song.”

Tempest Shadow scowled. “It’s a weakness. One that you’d think I would have been rid of a long time ago. Diamond dogs gotta dig, griffons have to hoard shinies…” She made a sour face. “And ponies gotta sing, apparently.”

“My friend Rainbow Dash would say that ponies gotta pwn.” Twilight blushed a bit. “Sorry. That’s kind of an obscure joke.” She pointed a hoof dramatically. “However, even though your song was good, I’m going to have to disagree! My eyes are wide open, and I can clearly see that it’s time I stopped moping and got out of this cage!”

Grubber clapped his paws together. “Ooh! Hang on, can I get some popcorn first? It’ll only take a minute! Wait right there, okay? Okay!”

Twilight watched him waddle away, her confidence slipping a bit. “Hey, don’t take me lightly! I am an Alicorn, after all! Plus I’m a trained spellcaster who graduated with honors from the Gifted Unicorn program, and you’ve imprisoned me in a cage with widely spaced bars. There’s plenty of room for me to fire a stun bolt right through them!”

Twilight lit her horn and did exactly that, but the purple bolt only made it a few inches out of the cage before it fizzled into motes of light, which were drawn right back into the cage bars.

Tempest lifted a foreleg and examined the polish on her hoofguard casually. “You’re doing it wrong, princess. Out here in the real world, you shoot your enemy first, preferably in the back. If they fall down, then you can do the big speech.”

Twilight opened her mouth, then shut it firmly and tried to grab Tempest with her telekinesis. That fizzled too.

Tempest smiled coldly. “You’re learning. Too little, too late though.”

“Fine!” snapped Twilight. “I’ll just teleport out!”

Tempest watched impassively as there was a bright purple flash, followed by a ping-thwhack-thud!

“Ow, my head!” groaned Twilight. “That didn’t work, but… I bet you didn’t take my Alicorn strength into account!” She grabbed hold of the bars. “Hrrrrr… Ughhhh!!!!” This is what Twilight get for having Spike do all the heavy lifting.

Tempest allowed herself a small evil smirk. “Please, do keep trying to escape while I’m standing right here, ready to pummel you if you do think of something clever. I heard that you’re fond of games, princess. Didn’t you learn any strategy from them?”

“How?” was all Twilight could say, slumped on the cage floor and gasping for breath, with the bars not even slightly bent. “This is an impossible situation! How can you have a cage that can hold an Alicorn!? We could have put Nightmare Moon or Discord in one of these and saved so much trouble...”

“Sure, let me explain to you all about how our anti-magic metal works.” Tempest blinked. “Oh, wait. That would be stupid. I guess I won’t be doing that.” She tapped Twilight’s nose with a hoof and wandered off. “Enjoy the rest of the trip. It won’t be much longer.”

Grubber came racing in, spilling popcorn as he went. “Aw, I told you to wait!”

Then he gasped loudly and spilled all the rest of the popcorn, because Tempest Shadow was in the cage instead of Twilight! “Let me out of here, quickly!” she ordered. “The princess has escaped!”

“Sure thing!” said Grubber brightly. “Just tell me today’s passcode.”

Tempest slammed her head into the bars, incensed. “We don’t have time for that nonsense, fool! Open the cage now!”

“Ooh. Yeah, really, I’d love to.” Grubber held up a dark purple book with the Storm King’s logo on the spine. “But, workplace safety first.” He pushed a small button on the cage, and an electrical charge zapped Twilight out of her illusion spell.

Twilight struggled to stand, still smoldering slightly. “Workplace safety is… definitely important!” Then she fainted.

Session 68.6 Grogar-the-onser *Movie Spoilers*

Queen Nuvo eye twitched "What do you mean she gone..."

"Err... well to use the phrase back when we were hippogriff, Princess Skystar flew the coop and decided to help the ponies." A guard gulped.

Queen Nuvo grumble a bit. "That girl, driving me crazy. Helping those who were trying to steal from us... Is there any chance of catching up."

"Not... really we only notice after a lot of hours passed."

"GRR! She better save Equestria... cause if she dies.... I'M GOING TO BRING HER BACK ALIVE TO KILL HER MYSELF!!" Nuvo shouted.

Skystar shiver in fear while Pinkie was trying to keep everyone morals up.

"I spy with my little eye!" Pinkie shouted punching Rainbow in the foreleg.

"Sky," Everyone stated.

"Wow you guys are good!"

Session 68.7 Grogar-the-onser (and one line by me) *Movie Spoilers*

"Sir, we're almost in Equestria's border," A storm trooper said.

"Bout bloody time." Storm King said, "I was tired of waiting for ultimate power... i can't wait to get this party started... Storm King cackled. "Btw how goes the other invasion forces."

"Most of it going well with some areas being... harder than other to control."

"YAK SMASH!" Rutherford bellowed as the yaks viciously attacked the storm king forces to help there allies in the crystal empire."

The storm troopers screeched as food and building supplies were being shot at them, courtesy of the hooffield and the McColts.

"AHH!!" A stormtrooper bellowed as they fell into a trap.

"Heh, didn't see that one coming did ya?" Daring Do cackled, "And that why you don't mess with a archeologist who make it her work to avoid traps!"

"And don't come back." Maud Pie said calmly as threw the Storm Trooper towards the horizon, where he happened to land right on the Storm King'd personal observation deck.

"Meh, doesn't matter, all the opposition will surrender when i become all-powerful." Storm King said dismissively.

Session 68.8 Mtangalion *Movie Spoilers*

The Crystal Empire had been enduring some very gloomy days already. With Celestia and Luna both sealed in stone, the world lay in perpetual twilight, with dense clouds perpetually hiding the sun and moon. Now, a fleet of dark airships was swiftly approaching, each flying the banner of the Storm King.

The airships pulled right up to the barrier that separated the tundra outside from the warm air and green grass within, and two of them fired grapples made of magic-absorbing metal. They pierced right through the barrier and caught, and the airships began winching them back, physically tearing open a portal through which they could invade.

There was a deafening whine of feedback from a voice amplification spell, and then the yeti in charge of the invasion spoke through a translation crystal. “Equestria belongs to Storm King, and this land is his too! Surrender now!”

“Excuse me!” shouted an unexpected voice, on the snowy side of the barrier. It was a large white diamond wolf… Prince Blueblood, wearing his enchanted collar. “I should like to parlay! May we talk?”

The yeti leader glared down at him from the airship deck, snarling.

Blueblood winced, but smoothly pressed on. “Yes, we did indeed hear about your invasion of Equestria, and so we’ve had time to make a few preparations. I strongly suggest negotiation! This isn’t going to go the way you hope.”

The yeti snorted and started barking out orders in his own language. The translation crystal roared, “Begin the invasion! And go fetch that wolf and bring it here in a cage!” More yeti soldiers started leaping down from the airships, advancing on him.

Blueblood sighed theatrically. “Well, they can’t say we didn’t warn them.”

Then the entire snowbank behind him exploded in a flurry of snowflakes, revealing a small army of snarling, armored diamond wolves. The snowbank had been a paper thin blind cast by Prince Erik, whose claws were still glowing icy blue. He wasn’t done, either… the glow brightened, and two towering ice golems rose, ready to fight. “Diamond wolves done with running,” he growled. “Icehome is ours, you’ll never be having it!”

The pack bayed and charged!

On the other side of the barrier, a crystal pony field commander in gleaming armor put down his binoculars, amazed. “The wolves are fighting on our side!?”

“Why not?” said a grinning Flash Sentry. He was flying alongside the empire’s very small force of crystal pegasus guards, hovering over the much larger crystal earth pony force. “It’s their home too!”

The commander laughed heartily. “And I was sure they’d seal the caves and stay hidden in their holes. Well, come then!” He raised his spear. “Charge! We’ll strike the yeti from behind!”

The yeti were proving to be tough opponents, even with two or three wolves to one foe, but then the ponies charged in, tackling yeti, bucking their legs out from underneath them, and jabbing with crystal pikes… while the pegasi blinded them with sudden snow gusts.

A large group of ponies got trapped under metal-mesh nets that foiled every attempt to break them with earth pony strength, but a group of diamond wolves tunnel right into the ground to free them, and more yeti suddenly found themselves plunging into unexpected holes in the earth, hidden by the snow cover.

Two more airships pulled up and dropped off reserve troops… two dozen yeti that hadn’t engaged anyone yet. The approached in close formation, metal shields and long barbed pikes at the ready.

Alisa padded up beside Blueblood, wearing a sly grin. “Watch close. Not every day you’ll be seeing this.” An inky black field seemed to drink in the light around her claws, and she lifted her head, giving a long lonely howl. A gravity whirlpool formed beneath the reserve yeti soldiers, yanking them violently off the snowy ground and sending them crashing into each other.

Blueblood gawked. “Is that how wolves channel magic without a horn?” He lifted a paw and wiggled his clawed toes, grumbling to himself. “Aha!” A familiar blue glow matching his eyes sprung up, forming into his favorite enchanted rapier spell, just in time to jab a yeti that was sneaking up on him. “Why doesn’t anywolf tell me these things?”

Inside the city, Royal Crystaller Sunburst trotted back and forth in front of the citizens gathered before the palace. “That’s it, everypony! Just keep thinking those happy thoughts. We’re almost there!”

A young crystal pony colt facehoofed. “This is stupid. There’s an invading army out there! What are we trying to do, friendship them to death!?”

Sunburst grinned at the Crystal Heart, now spinning faster and faster until it was just a blur. He adjusted his glasses. “Well, not to death…” A burst of power washed over the crowd, and then over the whole city, turning all their coats to shining crystal. “But something like that!”

A rainbow laced with spiraling heart swirls shot out of the Crystal Heart, arcing out of the city and coming down right on top of the yeti army. When the dust settled, the yeti commander pulled off his helmet, sniffling. “We don’t want to fight any more,” said the translation crystal. All over the battlefield, yeti were throwing away their armor in disgust. “Just want to go back home, to mountains. But Storm King won’t let us until we pay for all Storm King brand games and merchandise we bought.”

Blueblood approached him smugly, in his element. “Fortunately, I know just the lawyers who might be able to help you with that.”

Session 68.9 Alex Warlorn *Movie Spoilers*

"And this is why the magic of long range artillery was invented," the Storm King said as he pulled a lever that made a incredibly long canon fire, rocking the ship from the recoil, making some of the Storm Trooper seasick. "Right, these are better for land artillery, see? Learn something new." The projectile sailed in an arc toward the horizon, and hitting the Yaks spot on.

"OW! Yaks smashed! But... smashing was... perfect... take... nap... for now..." The Yaks fell over to the sound of felling trees, shaking the earth as they fell to recover from being introduced to Equus' first ballistics prototype.

The Storm King arrived in Equestria proper, with the other half of his air fleet, and was now in direct view of Canterlot Castle. And he was getting reports on what was going on, including a prisoner escape, several secondary invasions being rebelled in the most humiliating of manners.

"Ya see? Ya see? THIS is why I get stuck doing so much stuff myself. AND it's why we just take stuff we want and leave, instead of this staying in one place nonsense. And it's why we just sell off slaves most of the time. You get resistance cells, revolts, and the rest of that nonsense. Being stuck in one place like this ruins your mojo. You end up coming across as a buncha whimps that a kitten with a wet noodle can beat back. And that is not good for business boys! In business like ours, it's being o scary that the enemy surrenders without a fight, just a quick show of force, we take what we want, an then leave. This whole 'occupation' deal was a bad idea. Tempest seriously screwed up on this one. I knew something like this would happen. This is really gonna effect merchandise sales across the charts. Do you have ANY idea how STUPIDLY EXPENSIVE it is to raze kingdoms? And there's no profit!

"I don't blame you boys... you weren't built for occupation, you were built to be shock troops, I mean, our good old 'smash and grab' deal. This whole 'occupation' gig is a whole new dance for ya, and I shouldn't blame you for stumbling. You guys were bred and trained to be on the offensive, on the move. Not this 'staying in one place' deal. So yeah, the boss understands boys.

"And seriously, who was it that authorized spreading out numbers so thin? This is what happens every time someone invaded those reindeer, so much empty country. And it means I need to delay becoming a god to clean up your messes.

"Okay. I know I'm about to achieve godhood and all that jazz. Really blow'em all away. But I've still gotta think about the business. You guys need to do your parts too. No matter how cool or imitating I am, it's not gonna do any good if you guys start coming across like imperial troops in a Star Mares movie. Which I'll note! Only came across as incompetent in one scene where they were LETTING the heroes escape. And they were deadly attcurate in the sequel. And in the third movie, the teddy bear people only had the advantage with the element of surprise, and the terrian. As soon as the imperial troops got their acts together, the little teddy bears began to take a lot of causalities. So boys, what I'm saying is..." The Storm King's face became a growl. "GET. YOUR. ACT. TOGETHER!!!"

= Space Battleship Yamato 2199 OST - White Comet Disco =

*deep bellow cord*

A cart felt the sky, filled with fire snails, the happy mindless creatures producing fire slime for the back mounted flame throwers that the Storm Trooper armed themselves with, and got in formation, and began to CHEMICALLY BURN the deer controlled vines as the vines came closer, leaving ashes. The the winter loving Yetis themselves look rather uncomfortable with their own weapons, and moving by inches.

*deep bellow cord*

The siege tower was dropped with an earth shaking thud from the airship, the yetis climbing inside, shielding them from the HoofField and McColts' projectiles, and it wheeled right to their door step, and with one giant mechanical fist, punched it open.

*deep bellow cord*

Instead of entering the trapped filled temple, the storm troopers just threw the crates of dynamite they'd been air dropped, and began glowing the ancient historic monuments to bits. Collecting the piece to sell off. This left Daring Do in a blind rage, and with no friends to calm her down, she attacked, she knew it was a trap, but it was better than seeing history destroyed before her eyes. Sadly, while her rage made a good show of the first Storm Troopers she clobbered left with dents in their armor from her righteous fury, it left her open to be tackled by more.

*deep bellow cord*

"Your King commands you" REACH DOWN A FIND A PAIR! We're Yetis! The freezing cold is where we fight best! They're Diamond Dogs who wanted to look cooler! Second! Put your friggin' anti-magic armor on your ninnies! That's the whole damn reason we spent to much to develop and mass produce so much of it!

"Also... you will all receive a Storm Buck raise to your salary. And a hundred Storm Buck Bonus upon me achieving godhood. Also... *TO THE THEME OF 1960s Batman* "Nananannananana STORM KING! Nananannananan Storm King! Nanannananananannanan Storm King!"

The theme song quickly being picked up by some of the Yetis.

Naturally, not all the Yetis were quick to go back to fighting after being exposed to the light of the crystal heart (a lot didn't! And were perfectly happy not to fight more)... but not every Yeti there instantly abandoned their job on the spot either: these were the ones who actually LIKED bullying others around, the rest who kept fighting thought abandoning their side in the middle of a battle was dishonorable!

*deep bellow cord*

The Storm King set foot in Canterlot, making sure to look at intimidating and awe inspiring as possible, he couldn't risk his brand suffering more than it already had.

"Now... where's Tempest? She said three days, and I've already paid some major losses to my mojo for this, so she better have all four winged horned horsies as statues for me to power up this baby. With my staff I claimed the gargoyles... geeze they were more badass in the comics, when they say 'the rightful master may only be the one who defeats the current master in one on one combat' I really expecting more of a challenge. ... Didn't they say it came from a crystal tree or something? OH WHO CARES?!?! You!" He pointed at a random yeti, "Where Tempest?"

It grunted in its own language.

The Storm King replied, "Thanks!"

OOC: This is meant to be The White Comet Shows Up moment from Star Blazers, NOT 'The DM won't let you do that.'

Session 68.10 Kendell2 *Movie Spoilers*

Follow up to Alex's:

"What do we do now?" asked Cheerilee, watching the fire burn everything they tried to use against them.

Blackthorn gave it thought. "...The creatures of Everfree...but I'm not sure any of them could stand up to those flames...there's the Hydra, but their airships...Everfree's resident dragon is Tiamat's, not my own..." he said, trying to think of some creature capable of repelling this force. He then got a somber look. "...Our only choice...We must awaken the Queen."

Cheerilee cocked her head. "The Queen?"

"The Queen of Everfree, it's mightiest beast and her daughter..." Blackthorn replied. "They are the only creatures in Everfree that might be able to turn the tide...the Big Bear and her cub, the constellations made flesh..."

The teacher blinked, then gasped. "The...the Ursas?"

"But my friend, you know how that may end," said Zecora. "The Ursa Major and her cub are beyond your magic's ability to control, if you awaken them and they do not listen, there will be a grave toll."

"I know...that's why I will be the one to awaken them."

To everyone's surprise this was not Blackthorn himself, but Aspen.

"You can't..." Blackthorn said. "I'm the king, I have to be the one to do it."

"That's why you SHOULDN'T be the one to do it," Aspen replied seriously. "The people need you more than I right now...Besides, I am still the Heart of Everfree, my empathy with creatures is greater than yours, I stand the best chance of rousing the Ursa and her daughter to defend their home...Besides, I owe the ponies for my foolishness, let me save these foals even if I must risk my own life...after all, I was the one who always said 'tit for tat'..."

Aspen and Blackthorn stared at one another for a moment before both nodded.

Aspen turned and began heading off. "...Also, Miss Cheerilee? The Ursa and her cub do not care for your kind. They do not care for Ponyville. They don't even care for the deer, merely permit us and all things of the forest to live here. They care for each other and their territory, and will protect both...if they do rise to protect Everfree and all who live in it, they will not leave it...they will not help retake your land, only protect their own...And if I do not return, tell Bramble at least I died a selfless buck."

Aspen slowly trotted into the depths of the cave. The lair of Everfree's grandest creature. One of the most powerful beasts known to Equus, so massive and immense that even dragons feared her wrath. "...Queen of Everfree! I have come to seek audience with you!"

Two gigantic eyes opened in the dark, each dwarfing the deer...then two others high above, dwarfing even the first pair.

The Ursa Major towered over him, glaring down at he that dared to awaken her and her daughter from their slumber. The Ursa Minor growled, preparing to pounce, only for her mother to stop her...if only barely.

Aspen knew if he said one wrong thing, he was dead. The Ursa Major could crush him with the effort one squashed and insect. As mighty as he was, he was no Celestia or Luna. Or even his mother, the Mother of All Deer. "Ursa Major! The constellation of the Big Bear made flesh! I ask you to please, rise! Rise and stand against the invaders that disgrace Everfree!"

The Ursa Major gave a disinterested growl and looked like she was already ready to squash the Deer where he stood.

"I know you care not for me and my people! We are tolerated by you! I am not asking you to defend US, I'm asking you to defend what is YOURS. Everfree Forest, your territory! The invaders seek to burn it down to find what they seek!"

He kept his words only to what was needed. If the Ursa Major believed the deer and ponies were to blame, that could end poorly.

The mightiest beast of Everfree growled in rage, giving a bellowing roar.

"Yes, I speak the truth!" Aspen said, trying not to show any fear despite his heart racing. "Please! Rise to defend Everfree!...That is all I ask...not to defend my people or my family."

The behemoth blinked, giving a questioning growl.

"I have a son..." Aspen explained. "...I know your wrath when you child is threatened...she's being threatened now. Her home is being threatened. If not for me and my son, please rise for you and yours."

"Did it work?" asked Cheerilee, watching the Storm Troopers grow closer with their weapons...when a deep, powerful roar shook the earth.

The troopers turned and looked as the Ursa Minor emerged from the cave, roaring in fury. They still prepared to fight...when the cave itself practically exploded. Dust shot up into the air as something rose. And rose. And rose. Higher and higher.

Aspen emerged from the dust, standing in the claw of the behemoth. "Invaders! Behold! The Queen of Everfree! This forest's mightiest beast! The Spirit of the Constellation Big Bear! The Ursa Major! And she has but one thing to say to you! You are not welcome here!"

The mighty beast reared back her head roared in fury, swinging a claw and reducing one of the airships to debris crashing to the ground below in one swipe. She set down Aspen and marched forwards, treating the flames coming at her like a warm breeze as she sent Yetis flying with a single swipe.

"Hmm..." the Storm King said, watching from the telescope of his ship as the Ursa rampaged against his men. "Ursa Major, didn't see that coming," he said, uninterested even as his men tried to face it. "On the bright side, if Tempest's little story is to be believed, these things never stray all that far from their turf. Remote forest...Okay, just fall back and watch the edge of the forest, any ponies come out, round 'em up. I'll deal with big bear once I'm a god."

One of his Yetis roared questioningly.

"Simple: I'm interested in image, not STUPID," the King replied. "Throwing men at a giant monster? Just going to embarrass me. Never fight a fight you can't win. He who fights and runs away, comes back when they get a bigger gun and wins round 2. Thrashing that thing after I'm a god? That'll be REALLY intimidating...Speaking of which, I've got becoming a god to get ready for. Excuse me."

Session 68.11 Kendell2 *Movie Spoilers*

Talked this over with Alex and he said to go ahead. Had a few options on how to do this, but this one felt more logical for a 'flesh out the canon' thing rather than a rewrite.

Twilight's ears rung as the roar of tornado sounded around her as she gripped the Staff. She just had to survive this and then it was-

"THAT'S MINE!"

The Alicorn could barely move out of the way in time as the Storm King launched himself at her. She felt his claws nearly graze her cheek. As the creature flew by, he grabbed onto the staff and held on for dear life.

Twilight gasped, barely able to keep ahold. The Storm King's face was a picture of viscous rage in sharp contrast to the Satyr/Yeti hybrid who'd been playing with the sun and moon like toys before.

"That's MY Staff!" he roared in fury as he attempted to slash her with his claws a few times, forcing her to dodge. "I won't let you take it away from me! Not now!"

Twilight glared, trying to manage a magic beam but unable to with her magic stolen. The two gave a scream and had to pull themselves out of the way of a piece of debris caught up in the storm. "The Princesses powers don't belong to you!"

The Storm King snarled in fury, concentrating, causing lightning to begin crackling about the Staff's tip. Twilight barely moved her head enough to avoid a point blank blast of powerful lightning, but left herself open to the Storm King punching her off, sending her tumbling through the twister. "I don't care! If I want something, I take it! That's how the world works, you stupid equine!"

Twilight eeped as the Storm King charged up lightning. She saw a piece of debris and clung close to it, launching off of it as the lightning was fired, blowing it to bits. She repeated this several times before launching herself at the Storm King and slamming into him as both were swinging through the storm. "No it's not!" she yelled, grabbing onto the staff and continuing to fight him over it. "That's just how you want it to work so you can live with yourself!"

The Storm King seemed intent to rip her to shreds with his bare claws, swiping madly at her. "I did not come this far to be lectured by a pretty little Princess! I came here to become a god! And I won't let you take literal GODHOOD away from me!"

Twilight finally noted her own magic glimmering in the staff and focused on it, blasting the Storm King in the chest with a magic beam and launching him off into the storm. "You don't even know what being a god MEANS! You only see a shallow outline! You're no different than Tirek!"

The Storm King grabbed a piece of debris and swung around it, launching himself back at Twilight. "Well he WAS my inspiration!" he roared, grabbing onto the staff and forcing Twilight to maneuver past several lightning bolts as she struggled to hang on. She retaliated with several magic bolts from the staff, forcing the two to take evasive action just to hang on. "And you're right! I want an outline! Who would want all that power but be bogged down by too much responsibility to actually use it?!"

"That responsibility is what gives the power PURPOSE! A child can learn that from a comic! With great power must come great responsibility!" Twilight replied, then focused, channeling a beam of solar flames from the staff and launching the Storm King back. Twilight growled. "Without any responsibility you're no god, you're not even an ADULT! You're just a child with too much power! And you're living proof of that!" she shouted. "...And I've acted childish...like with the Sea Pony kingdom...selfish...But no more..." she said, dodging another lunge from the Storm King and blasting him back into the storm with a beam of moonlight from the staff. "I'm going to stop you, for my friends and everyone else!"

"Stop talking and just die already!" the tyrant roared, leaping off one of his own minions caught up in the storm and lunging at her, claws bared. Twilight swung the staff, growing two pillars of crystal out of debris and slamming into him to knock him away. "I'm the Storm King! Conqueror of Countless Kingdoms! Terror of the South! Lord of All Yetis! How?! How are you stupid little miniature horses able to give me this much trouble?!"

"...Because you're all alone...And...you never even bothered to LEARN the kind of power you were trying to steal! That's how little what you cared about anything but power!" Twilight replied, holding up the staff. "...But I HAVE had this power! I DO know its burden!" she said, eyes lighting up as the power crackled around the staff's tip. "So let me show you what the sun, moon, love, and friendship can REALLY do!" she yelled, swinging the staff forwards and firing a swirling beam of all four magics surrounded by lightning at him.

The Storm King's eyes went wide and he quickly grabbed the largest piece of debris he could find to shield himself with. The beam slammed into him, his makeshift shield cracking as magic erupted and began destabilizing the tornado. "NO! NO! NO!" he bellowed in rage. "I CAN'T BE BEATEN BY A PRETTY PONY PRINCESS!"

"It's not just me who's beaten you! It's everypony who's helped me get this far! Every CREATURE!" Twilight yelled, her friends (Princesses and new friends included) manifesting around her as glowing shades, her power seeming to increase. "I'm Princess of Friendship, without them I'd be NOTHING! With them? I'm more than enough for you!" Finally, a huge explosion erupted, the tornado dissipating as the Storm King slammed hard into the ground, battered by the debris of his makeshift shield from the blast. Twilight hovered for just a moment to make sure he was out before heading back down.

However...as Twilight descended to meet her friends...the tyrant crawled his way towards the castle with a demented, animalistic look on his face. "I'm not done...I'm not done yet! That's my Staff! MINE!"

OOC: Basically, things continue as normal after this, just we don't know WHAT happened in the tornado so I decided to touch upon it.

Session 68.12 Kendell2 *Movie Spoilers*

That statue thing made me come up with this.

As the Storm King found his own minion tackle him (sure, he'd betrayed her, but why wouldn't he? Her little slip had made it clear she was no longer trustworthy, no different from Strife. There was only one pragmatic way to deal with a potential traitor in your ranks after all), turning him to stone and sending him plummeting several hundred feet towards the hard, unforgiving ground, he took a moment to rethink his life.

'If I had any single regret for the countless horrific events that have transpired in my wake...it's that I'm dying...'

The ground grew closer and closer.

'And not conquering Hawaneigh. That would've been a great vacation spot. I had to settle for Storm King Territory 516...at least they had a pool...Oh, and never making those Storm King action figures with kung fu grip.'

And closer.

'Wow...time REALLY goes slow when you're dying...And here comes my life passing before my eyes...I was awesome...and evil...Crud, that means I'm going to the bad place, doesn't it?...Horseapples!'

And he finally hit.

Session 68.13 Zaku789 (with one line added by me) *Movie Spoilers*

Storm King blinked as he looked at the new cavernous location. "What the-"

"Hey mac." Storm King turned to see a frail centaur who looked pissed/bored. "What are you in here for?"

"Uhh... who are you?"

"A tyrant who got killed by a rainbow twice." Tirek growled. "You?"

"Got turn to stone and plummet to the unforgiving ground." Storm King answered.

"Yeah well welcome to Tartarus for all eternity." Tirek sighed.

"Oh wait! Great and Terrible Tirek is that you?!"

"Yeah."

"Got your pre-order... not sure if it'll be delivered now, no refunds."

Session 68.14 Kendell2 *Movie Spoilers*

"Okay!" the restored Discord yelled, looking BEYOND furious. "The unicorn may have sacrificed herself to save Fluttershy, so she's off the hook...I guess...so where is this 'Storm King'?! He will face my chaotic wrath instead!" Lightning crackled around him and thunder boomed.

"Over there," a pony replied, pointing to the Storm King's shattered form, which were currently gathered and awaiting proper burial (he didn't deserve one, but ponies were ponies).

Discord grumbled. "Darn it...fine, then I'll just go find some of his unrepentant minions to turn into toys for Flurry Heart! Because I CAN!" he said, teleporting away.

Session 68.15 Mtangalion *Movie Spoilers*

“You!” said Gilda irately, hobbling on three legs with one forelimb still in a cast. “Tempest Shadow!”

Tempest had been looking out from a terrace near Canterlot Palace, the morning after the Friendship celebration. “Actually, my name is…”

“I’m not calling you that,” snapped Gilda. “I won’t have anygriffon saying that I got beat by ‘Fizzlepop Berrytwist.’ We’re having a rematch, you and me… after I get this cast off.”

Tempest smiled, recalling a bit of her dark glamour. “I don’t mind at all. I hope you enjoy pain.”

On another part of the terrace, Twilight and some of the others were talking with the new friends they’d made. Discord appeared near them in a flash, scouting here and there, high and low. “I have the strangest feeling that I’ve forgotten something! Is it a cake in the oven?” He snapped his fingers and an oven appeared, opening itself to show an empty rack. “No, that’s not it.”

Gilda squinted at the other gathering, then lifted a wing to muffle her conversation with Tempest. “Say, what’s with the freakshow parade over there? Those hippogriff characters look like somebody glued a griffon and a pony together, and those gals look like the front half of a griffon walking around by itself… and that guy, he looks like just a griffon’s back half!”

Discord floated by again, chortling and slapping his knee. “Parrots! Parrots who are pirates! Teehee!”

Twilight Sparkle frowned. “What’s he going on about now?”

Fluttershy just smiled. “Oh, Discord gets like that sometimes. Don’t bother asking. He never explains the joke.”

Tempest smirked. “I’m no expert, but I have a feeling that the parrots and the cats are just parrots and cats. You and the hippogriffs are the chimeras.”

Gilda stared blankly.

“I mean, griffons and hippogriffs are hybrids… who are you again?”

Gilda’s beak fell open. “You think… Pfft, that’s crazy talk! We griffons are perfect, just the way Boreas made us!” She flexed and yelped. “Stupid leg!”

Tempest rolled her eyes. “Whatever you say, griffon.”

“That’s Gilda, and don’t you forget it!”

Tempest gave her a look that somehow conveyed both indifference and dark amusement. “Whatever you say, Gilda.”

“I just know I’m forgetting something!” mused Discord, frustrated. “Oh well, I’m sure it will come to me later.”

Session 68.16 Kendell2 *Movie Spoilers*

"Grubber," said Celestia, the hedgehog facing the Princesses. "You have defected from the Storm Kings forces and pledged loyalty to Equestria."

"Yeah, I did..." he said, though admittedly, it was only because TEMPEST had. If she hadn't, he'd probably have just ran for it.

"However, unlike Miss Fizzlepop, you did not perform a heroic act of redemption," Luna replied. "So you will no receive your punishment for the following crimes: invasion, child abuse, and child labor."

"...Child abuse and labor?" Grubber asked, cocking his head. He then recall the 'ponyback rides'. "...Oh...Hey, I was just having fun!"

"By working innocent foals to exhaustion for your own amusement against their will," Luna replied. "As such, your punishment will be 'play time' with the foals for the next week."

Grubber gulped, looking over to see a mob of children, all glaring at him. Sweetie Belle produced a make up case and gave a somewhat creepy smile.

"If you do not wish for that punishment, you can always have the one we would've given you if you had not reformed," Cadence replied. "The wrath of their mothers..."

Maternity was suddenly a foot away from him with a katana in hoof.

The hedgehog paled. "I-I'll take the kids..."

"Alright then," said Luna. "Do with him as you will."

"I call piggyback rides!" Diamond Tiara shouted as the children swarmed Grubber and began carrying him off.

"Only after I make him VERY pretty," said Sweetie Belle, right next to Grubber's head.

Silver Spoon produced a frilly dress that was the most girly thing her money could buy.

"I was just going to make him play Phantoms 'n Ghouls..." said Button Mash.

"...Tempest, help..." Grubber begged.

"Sorry, you were the one who decided to slack off and 'play' with the kids," was the mare's response.

"...Fluttershy, why is he here?" asked Rainbow Dash, looking at one of the Storm Troopers sitting in a chair way too small for him.

"This is Fluffy, he's that minion I talked to during the final battle," Fluttershy replied.

The Yeti gave a bellow in his own tongue.

"He says he's very sorry for invading," the pegasus translated kindly.

Fluffy gave a series of almost sad bellows.

"He says his family made him for 'the glory of the tribe'," Fluttershy explained with a frown.

The Yeti nodded and bellowed several more times.

"He wanted to be an artist."

Fluffy produced a professional quality painting of him and Fluttershy hugging.

"He's actually quite good," Fluttershy said reassuringly.

Fluffy smiled happily and gave the pegasus a hug.

"Aww. You're welcome, Fluffy."

Session 68.17 Ardashir *Movie Spoilers*

Grubber stood atop the 'tower' made of a pair of old crates, wearing a tinfoil crown and saying in a deadpan voice, "Oh, see me, the mighty Hedgehog King, conqueror of Ponyland. Who dares to defy my awesome, er, awesomeness?"

"I do!" Beating her little wings as hard as she could, and with a magical assist from Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo flew straight at Grubber and hoofed him lightly (but not too lightly; she remember being dragged around in chains) on top of his head.

"Ow," Grubber said, very bored. He very dramatically fell over backwards. "I am defeated by the mighty pegasus pony. Oh, woe is me."

"Aw, come on!" Sweetie cried up to him. "You expected us to like it when you stuck us in those circus horse outfits and rode us!"

"That was different!" Grubber hopped up, looking indignant and lively for the first time in hours. "I was being a bad guy then! Besides, you're ponies, you were made to be ridden!"

Session 68.18 Kendell2 *Movie Spoilers*

*Spoilers for MLP Movie- Read at your own Risk*

"Wow, so you FINALLY lit someone on fire?" Ember asked in the aftermath of the disaster, playing some majong.

"Yeah!...Well, intentionally," the little drake replied with some pride.

"Good job! Did they scream and run around?"

"Yeah, a lot."

Ember nodded approvingly. "Did you feast on their scorched remains while roaring triumphantly?"

Spike raised an eyebrow. "Uh...no...they're in jail...They still fear me though."

"Oh...right..." the Dragon Lord replied, rubbing her head. "Ponies don't approve of that...still, good job!"

Tempest, or as she was going by again, Fizzlepop, found the three rulers she had turned to stone looking down at her.

Cadence was the first to speak. "...You're lucky my husband protected my daughter from you..." she said, then gave a furious glare that made even Tempest begin to sweat. Her tone was calm, but clearly full of rage. "Because if you'd hurt her, not even Twilight and my aunties would be able to keep me from you. Are we clear?"

"Crystal..."

Cadence simply nodded and returned to her silence.

"...Cadence is Bonds, Miss Berrytwist," Luna explained, keeping a stern glare. "Including the bond between a mother and her child. Few bonds can produce more fierce of anger. And few things are as terrible as the wrath of a mother deity, even a young one."

Tempest nodded.

"...You betrayed your people and your homeland, you caused the suffering of many solely to ease that which you experienced," Celestia explained. "...But you were also willing in the end to potentially give your life to right your wrong...So you are forgiven."

"But forgiven is not forgotten," Luna replied sternly. "You were a traitor, you helped conquer your homeland. As such you have broken the trust of your people and your homeland. You did save Twilight and her friends, and for that they trust you. But the trust of the people you've betrayed must be EARNED back...and take it from our personal experience, it will NOT be easy. Earning that broken trust back will be part of your punishment."

Fizzlepop lowered her head. "I understand."

"The rest of your punishment will to be experiencing the nightmares your actions have caused others, from their own perception, so you may understand the pain and trauma you have caused. So decrees I, Princess of the Night," Luna stated.

"...I accept that."

"Good...then go and sin no more."

"And, if you wish to start," Celestia said, showing some of her warmth. "Helping reverse engineer the Storm King's technology for the betterment of Equestria would be a good place, my little pony."

Fizzlepop managed a small smile. "...That sounds good..."

Session 68.19 Kendell2 *Movie Spoilers*

"So, the Storm King kept how to make those bombs to himself?" asked Luna, playing a game of chess with Tempest.

"Yes...Storm King I don't think could trust that it wouldn't be turned on him otherwise," Fizzlepop replied, moving her piece with her hoof. "That and just getting the main ingredient was...trouble."

"How so?" Luna questioned.

"Now remember, Tempest," the Storm King said as Tempest stored the Obsidian Spheres. "DON'T waste these, you only have five shots so DON'T miss. Because no matter the fancy tricks you can do with that broken horn of yours, those two older Princesses will hand you your flank if you do."

"Understood sir," replied Tempest.

"That and do you have ANY idea how big of a pain it is to get these?" Storm King asked. "If you mess up, I'll have to send some minions to get more gorgon venom!"

Several yetis suddenly panicked. They suddenly collectively took a step back, leaving one standing forwards. He noticed this and leapt back into the pack, resulting in a shoving match to try and get someone who WASN'T them forwards.

"And that is a pain in my tail! I mean yes, no one has to dig the holes like with a dragon and the Gorgon gets a lovely statue for her garden, but I still have to send condolences and fruit baskets! And I can't just mass produce the condolence letters, or they'll notice and think I don't care so I have to hand write them, and it's all just a big mess, so don't screw up!"

"I see..." Luna said. "If I had known what those things were before you managed to launch them, I would've sniped the first one the moment you brought it out."

Fizzlepop gasped slightly...but made her move. "I...I see...That would've turned me to stone..."

"I know. and given you leapt into the air, likely would've had a poor landing," said Luna simply, making her own move. "...You didn't seem to care about that in my case, did you?"

The unicorn gave a cringe, remembering she'd petrified Luna midair. "...No...I didn't..."

"...I know exactly what you feel like, Tempest," the Princess replied. "Desperate, hurting. You turned to means to remove your pain that now that desperation is past you feel guilt over, realizing they were never worth it...but accepting one's actions were wrong and seeking redemption for them does not mean they didn't happen. I forgive you for what you did to me, but I do not have a right to forgive you for turning Miss Derpy to stone, or for the citizens of Canterlot you hurt except as their ruler who's subject you've hurt. That is why I declared re-earning their trust that of your punishment."

"...I understand..." she said, moving her piece...

Luna moved her own. "Checkmate...But don't worry, so long as you remain on the straight and narrow, you will succeed in making up for it...I know that from experience."

"Thank you...I...I'm still getting used to ponies being understanding me..." Tempest admitted.

"As someone who failed for feeling as though no one understood her, I can appreciate that."

Celestia gave an annoyed sigh, staring down at the Yeti standing before her, a pony next to them. "So...you're saying you purchase this pony fair and square and you wish for that deal to be honored?"

The yeti nodded smugly.

"Alright, fair enough," Celestia said.

"Yes!" the Yeti bellowed in his own language.

"What?!" asked the pony, eyes wide.

"Guards, seize the yeti," the Dayarch ordered.

"Yes!" the pony yelled.

"What?!" the Yeti bellowed.

"Slavery is illegal in Equestria," Celestia explained. "And has been for centuries, if you desire to be a slaveholder, I can not stop you, but your actions have consequences."

"But the Storm King changed the law!" yelled the Yeti.

"The Storm King was never crowned King of Equestria or rightly recognized as its ruler by any country or leader, except himself," Celestia replied. "...Except Chrysalis, but she is likewise not recognized as ruler of any country...So he had no right to change the law. So you are in violation of the law and under arrest."

Celestia watched the Yeti be taken away...and sighed in annoyance. Twilight had to fix the problem, she and Luna had to fix the mess afterwards. "Once I'm done fixing the Storm King's mess, I am inviting Twilight, her friends, and Cadence and her family, and we are playing Crystals and Rainbows ALL NIGHT!"

"A toast! To the destruction of Equestria!" Chrysalis called, holding up a glass of wine and forcing her remaining followers to do so as well, cackling happily.

Right as they took a drink, a Changeling entered. "My Queen, the Storm King has been defeated!"

Chrysalis spat out her wine all over Imago, the nymph seeming to have seen that coming but being nonetheless annoyed.

"...On the bright side, we did manage to salvage your copy of the Storm King's O&O expansion from the wreckage of the ship carrying it...It's only slightly water logged."

"...We're playing it...After I go to my happy place..." said Chrysalis, slowly walking over to a memory crystal and replaying Cadence being turned to stone and Starlight being beaten unconscious on repeat.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 68.0 ArcanaMaverick7 (continued from Session 67.14)
Session 68.1 Alex Warlorn *Movie Spoilers*
Session 68.2 Grogar-the-Oneser *Movie Spoilers*
Session 68.3 Kendell2 *Movie Spoilers*
Session 68.4 Kendell2 *Movie Spoilers*
Session 68.5 Mtangalion (with one line added by me) *Movie Spoilers*
Session 68.6 Grogar-the-onser *Movie Spoilers*
Session 68.7 Grogar-the-onser (and one line by me) *Movie Spoilers*
Session 68.8 Mtangalion *Movie Spoilers*
Session 68.9 Alex Warlorn *Movie Spoilers*
Session 68.10 Kendell2 *Movie Spoilers*
Session 68.11 Kendell2 *Movie Spoilers*
Session 68.12 Kendell2 *Movie Spoilers*
Session 68.13 Zaku789 (with one line added by me) *Movie Spoilers*
Session 68.14 Kendell2 *Movie Spoilers*
Session 68.15 Mtangalion *Movie Spoilers*
Session 68.16 Kendell2 *Movie Spoilers*
Session 68.17 Ardashir *Movie Spoilers*
Session 68.18 Kendell2 *Movie Spoilers*
Session 68.19 Kendell2 *Movie Spoilers*

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Picture by HeartlyRosalie, used with permission.

https://heartlyrosalie.deviantart.com/art/Oubliettes-and-Ogres-699858823

Session 69 (movie spoilers)

Session 69.0 QuartzScale *SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE!*

It had been several days since the end of the hostilities created from the invasion of the Storm King and all his forces. Celestia and Luna were busy stretching out and waiting for Discord to prepare exactly what they needed for the continuation of their safety. The Storm King was lucky. He had managed to find a way to defeat all the Alicorn Princesses and even hold their own against several squads of changelings, yaks, diamond wolves, deer, and even the thought of other dragons appearing were thought up after interrogating several of the yetis under Storm King's command.

"Discord is everything ready!" Celestia called out as Luna prepped her own pieces ready for the meeting of today.

"I for one am prepared for anything." Luna announced as she trotted up next to Celestia.

"Yeah yeah don't worry about it I have everything set up already. Come on in I set up the portal network for everyone to use." Discord called out

Celestia and Luna entered a large conference room and took their seat while several portal opened around the edges of the room with Discord taking a seat as well as the representative of Chaosville thanks to a vote from the Smooze. The first couple of guests to appear were Chief Thunderhooves the representative of the the buffalo, Prince Rutherford of Yakyakistan, King Thorax of the Badlands Hive, Aspen of the Everfree Deer on task by King Blackthorn, Princess Cadance of the Crystal Empire and Prince Erik of the Diamond Wolves. Well wishes and several small pleasantries were spread throughout the Equestrians allowing them to fully get used to each other.

"I wish I would be getting to go along with Wolf games once again but I respect your request not to Princess Celestia. Besides with Discord here it might not be too fair." Prince Erik chuckled as he gave a polite bow to Discord surprisingly without much concern. Discord, of course, happily accepted it with all the grace and humility possible including bursting into a chaotic mess before changing everything back to normal in the blink of an eye.

"Meetings must be perfect!" Rutherford screamed out as he readjusted some flowers on the table by five centimeters. "There. Perfect." He smiled as he sat down.

"I say that these past couple of days have been some of the worst we've gone through since Tirek's escape. Appleloosa was hit pretty bad during the invasion though we managed to trample many of the encroaching enemies before they could enact their plans." Thunderhooves sighed.

"It's ok. They had perfect attack. There is no shame in that." Rutherford comforted Thunderhooves.

"I wish I could have done more. Pharynx was right. We need to get back to learning combat techniques in order to protect ourselves and our friends." Thorax sighed.

"Ah don't worry too much about these things buddy. You just need to have a bit more time to get used to holding the carrot and the stick." Discord replied almost lazily. "At the very least you weren't trapped in stone again left to rot into nothingness while some wannabe villain kicked your gut in while you were stone! There's nothing wrong at all." Discord slyly let out to the fear of everyone around who had never seen Discord mad... ever.

"My whole life flashed before my eyes when things happened. Managed to survive a hair brained scheme at the very least." Aspen muttered quietly to Celestia.

"What did you do?" Celestia cautiously asked.

"Got the Ursa Major awaken and strike down the airships that got too close." Aspen admitted.

"What!?" Celestia gaped out as she faltered off her feet.

"And you said I was dramatic when I was in stone..." Cadance groused. "So what is the point of this meeting in particular?"

"I just thought a lot of us could use some unwinding with a little game between allies and friends. Also to get to know each other better after our harrowing time through all the torture and horrible horrible being stuck in stone times." Celestia announced showcasing Crystal and Rainbows for everyone to play.

"Rutherford is Thistle Whistle." Rutherford stated in quiet finality.
~~~

"I give some Crystal berries to everyone at the party." Aspen announced as he performed the deed and acquired thirty friendship points.

"I'm so glad this plan worked sister." Luna whispered to Celestia.

"As am I. Everyone here was still willing to do whatever it took to save Equestria. Clearly some time needs to be taken so we can heal. I'm glad we have this chance now. These are our friends. The Equestrians that kept the country safe and the ones willing to fight for it. I'm happy to see all of them together doing something that would make the world better." Celestia whispered back as she performed her next act. "As Sunny Smiles I give everyone here a big hug for the spread of crystal berries."

Session 69.1 Kendell2 *SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE!*

Celestia blinked, finding Discord standing in front of her looking rather angry. "What seems to be the problem?"

"..." Discord simply brought up a memory crystal projecting his petrified form being kicked by Tempest. "Apparently I've become a meme...and NOT for the reasons I normally do or enjoy!"

"...A meme?" Celestia asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Ponies all over Equestria are watching this! Apparently they're still not happy about my time as an evil overlord and then betraying them to Tirek!" Discord exclaimed...then blinked. "...Okay, I can kinda see it...But still! It's annoying! And that's not all!"

"What else?" Celestia questioned.

"Apparently Storm King enjoyed it enough to make Tempest an action figure with a petrified me!" Discord exclaimed, holding one up. "And apparently they're highly sought after now!"

Celestia sighed. "They made them for us too, but the Storm King saved them for a play set involving a god version of him with fancy armor, so they were never released."

Discord gave a groan. "Is this what it feels like for everypony to think you're a wimp because you lost ONE fight?"

The Dayarch gave a trollish look. "And now I expect you to NEVER bring up Chrysalis beating me ever again."

The Spirit of Chaos crossed his arms and huffed.

"You want to deal with the next wannabe?"

Discord raised his eyebrow. "Wannabe?"

Celestia nodded. "The next villain who thinks they're the next Tirek or Storm King and runs in thinking they can beat us just because they did but are overestimating their own abilities. Like how some ponies rush into danger trying to be heroes without understanding it, only evil. We get about 10 of them each time Twilight has to stop a villain instead."

"...That sounds like fun..."

Fizzlepop sighed, using a communication spell to talk to one of the Storm King's minions. "No, I'm not lying: Storm King is dead, discontinue all his merchandise..."

She was the Storm King's most trusted minion...so she was the one that had to deal with his remnant. His army had fallen apart after his demise: he'd united the waring Yeti tribes...and with him dead and her and Grubber defected, they'd gone right back to being such. They'd fallen apart when all had said and done. No, it was dealing with his brand machine that was annoying!

"Fine, I get it, he paid already! Then...make the PRINCESSES the good guys and the Storm King the statue, got it?"

Fizzlepop reminded herself that she could have received a far worse, but less annoying, punishment like being banished to the moon.

Session 69.2 Mtangalion *SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE!*

Sometime around turn four of the Equestrian Summit / Crystals and Rainbows Game, Prince Erik was staring with wide eyes. "Crystals and Rainbows Land has Storm King too?" He barked a laugh. "Good joke."

"No really, it does," said King Thorax, magically flipping through the lore compendium, then turning it around so the wolf could see. "Seems to have been an entirely different character, though."

Luna grinned. "We certainly don't want any of our sounds getting stolen. We shall have to be on our guard!"

"Guard, guard..." mused Discord. He froze. "Would you excuse me? Won't take but a moment."

A quick finger-snap brought Discord back to Chaosville, where sure enough, the Day Guard and Night Guard were still camped out on his lawn. Right where he'd put them for "special training" and a good laugh or two, before he'd gotten petrified in the Storm King's opening sneak attack... and forgotten all about them.

Discord's horrified gasp lasted so long, he started turning blue and purple and all sorts of interesting colors before he snapped out of it. "Okay, don't panic..." He paced back and forth frantically, his chattering teeth biting a bucket full of clippings from his claws somehow. "No one's even noticed they were missing! I'll just put them back, and everything will be fine!"

The Guard ponies poofed back into reality on a familiar grassy plateau on the backside of Mount Canterhorn, then cheered, realizing where they were, and started back towards home at a brisk trot.

"That was one bloomin' strange weekend," mused a Day Guard private.

The Commander nodded. "That it was, lad, but it was worth it! Now we're freshly trained and rested!" They trotted around the last bend. "Ready to handle anything the world could possibly throw at..." The Guards in front stopped in their tracks, and the ponies behind crashed into them. "... us."

The Guards spent a good five minutes gawking at the rubble... the collapsed towers and bridges... the crashed foreign airships and the very foreign giant yeti working in cleanup crews alongside ponies, deer, a few griffons.

"I have a plan!" the Day Guard Commander suddenly announced.

The Night Guard Commander looked at him suspiciously. "What's that, then?"

Someone was hammering at the front door of Twilight's crystal castle again. "Be right there!" yelled Spike. He turned, shouting back through a door. "No, you stay there, Twilight! Thirty curls with those weights, or you don't get to read a book at dinner! You'll thank me next time you're locked up in a cage!"

Pleased with himself, Spike opened the front door and gasped at the sight of a huge crowd of stallions, with the Night *and* Day Guard Commanders in front. "Whatever Twilight did, I had nothing to do with it!"

The Day Guard Commander cleared his throat. "Ah, hello, good drake! Might Princess Twilight be interested in having her very own Twilight Guard?"

The Night Guard Commander grinned. "We heard that this is the place where all of the actually important stuff happens."

"And giant monster attacks, nearly every day!"

"We'd love to battle giant monsters for you."

Spike backed up, and realized that Starlight and Trixie were behind him.

Starlight stroked her chin with a hoof, looking at the crowd in Twilight's front yard appraisingly. "That's a lot of stallions."

"Big, handsome, strapping stallions! Trixie votes we keep them."

Spike raced back inside the castle. "Twilight!!"

Session 69.3 Ardashir (continue from 69.1 )

"TREMBLE IN DESPAIR, EQUESTRIA!" The magnificently deep voice came echoing through the window, causing Celestia to drop the chess piece she was holding right on to the board, leaving her Princess (referred to as the 'King' in other lands) wide open. The loud person outside added in another bellow, "FOR YOU ARE ABOUT TO LOSE YOUR PRECIOUS PUNY PRINCESSES!" They began to hear pones yelling in fear as they fled -- to a safe distance to watch the show.

"Hah!" Luna clapped her hooves and swiftly made her move. "As that was thy legal move, sister, I now have thee in check!" She went to the window. "Mayhap I should thank our guest."

Celestia joined Luna to see, standing in the broad plaza before the Sun Palace, a creature reminiscent of a quadrupedal Diamond Wolf if it had ebony fur and two heads. The size of a young adult dragon, and looking malnourished --- its ribs could be counted with the naked eye through its pelt -- it roared.

"CELESTIA! LUNA! COME FORTH AND FACE ME, THE APEX PREDATOR, FAVORED CHILD OF FENRIS! I/WE ARE SKOLL AND HATI, FATED TO CONSUME THE SUN AND MOON! AND WE --"

The mighty monster vanished with a yelp into a fuchsia cloud, which cleared to reveal a small, scrawny, two-headed puppy. Discord appeared behind him, dressed like a Equestrian Animal Control officer, and gathered the transformed tyrant up and dropped them into an animal carrier.

"Oh, now must you make so much noise?" Discord sniffed as Skoll and Hati yipped in high-pitched tones and tried to bite them with their milk teeth. He flew over to the window and handed the carrier over to Celestia. "Here, my dear Sun-Butt," he said with a bow so deep he wrapped around himself. "I promised to defeat the next ten villains, not to house and feed them at my expense. You find somewhere to go with him."

"Thank you very kindly, Discord," Celestia said as the Chaos Spirit vanished with a puff of smoke. She then yelled out the window. "Excitement's over! Everyone can go about their normal business!" Several members of the crowd made disappointed sounds as they left.

"Apparently Discord handles villains too quickly to satisfy Canterlot's population," Celestia went back to the chess board and started resetting the pieces. "I suppose I've spoiled them with the last few battles against would-be tyrants. Maybe I should show off less."

Luna was ignoring her, sticking her nose up against the bars of the carrier and allowing the excited two-headed pup to try gnawing on it.

"Who is a good mutant monstrosity? Who is? Thou art, that is who!" She set the carrier down and with a flash of magic brought a small bowl of food into it. The puppy ate ravenously. "I suppose we shall place him with the others, then?"

"After the next game," Celestia set the board, adding in an annoyed tone: "I will beat you this time. After a dozen straight losses I'm owed."

Session 69.4 Kendell2 *SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE!*

"Hey girls! I'm finally ungrounded!" Skystar said, flying in through the window. "Oh, and my people are rebuilding our civilization but a some of us LIKED being sea ponies so mom let them stay down in Seaquestria now we're a civilization of Hippogriffs and Hippocampus...Hippocampi...Anyway, I'm here now."

"Hi Skystar!" Pinkie Pie called, waving happily.

"Hi Pinkie!" she called, the two hugging.

"And this is my sister Maud!" the party pony called, pointing to her sister.

"Hello..." said Maud in her normal monotone.

"Hi!" the Hippogriff replied, seeming to, like Pinkie, be able to tell what she was feeling.

"This is Boulder..." Maud replied, producing her rock.

Skystar gave an exaggerated gasp. "Hi Boulder! Meet Shelly and Sheldon!" she called, setting her shell friends next to Boulder.

The two just set there for a moment, watching their inanimate object companions 'talk' in silence.

"...I like you..." Maud said, giving one of her very rare small smiles.

Skystar gave a cute smile. "I like you too!"

They soon proceeded to begin a game of Rainbows and Crystals.

Skystar soon looked very conflicted.

"Something wrong?" asked Twilight, looking over.

"Oh! Nothing...just...well..." said the Hippogriff Princess, cycling back and forth between a pegasi or Griffin. "I can't decide what to be! I'm half Pegasi/half Griffin!"

Fizzlepop merely sat nearby, making her character... She frowned, looking at what looked like a cuter version of herself...with a correct horn...She cringed, an Ursa Minor's claw flashing before her eyes for a moment.

"Darling?" Rarity asked, looking over. "The point of this game is to be somepony else. It's another life, one we don't need to worry about pain or trauma...don't overthink it."

The mare gave a slow nod...and simply made an Earth Pony character who loved fireworks and milkshakes. "That...feels right..."

Rarity smiled and gave a nod.

OOC: For reference, Fizzlepop/Tempest's character is G3 Fizzy Pop.

Session 69.5 Wolfram-and-Hart

Screams rang across Canterlot. Celestia and Luna looked out into the city and saw the source of the terror. A tall, slender stallion in a dark suit strode through the square, tentacles whipping from its back. Ponies fled in terror, all knowing the legends behind the Slender Pony. The abomination stood before Canterlot Castle, a static whine filling the air... and a giant STOP sign materialized before it,

"Hold up, Cuz!" Discord appeared in traffic cop garb. "Sorry, but I'm on bad guy duty now, so unless you want to be as solid as a marble hornet, you might want to hit the road and..."

"Hiya, Discord."

The draconequues and the Slender One turned to see a wall eyed pegasus carrying a basket of groceries.

"Oh, hello, Miss Hooves. I'll be with you in a minute just..." A tentacle wrapped around Discord's neck and tossed him to the side.

The Slender Pony stalked towards its cousin, the sound of static growing louder.

"Hey, don't get an attitude with me, Skinny Jeans! You may be scary, but I'm seven pages ahead of you!"

"Hey, Mr. Skinny." Derpy tapped the Slender Pony's shoulder. "You really should be nicer if you want to make friends. Hey, I know. I just got down shopping for baking supplies so me and the Princesses can make a big batch of muffins for when the Doctor and my girls get here. Why don't you come and help us bake? I bet we'll have a lot of fun and-"

A black tentacle slapped Derpy right across the face, sending her skidding on the ground.

"Oh no." Discord's eyes widened.

The Slender Pony grabbed the basket of baking supplies and tore it to pieces.

"Oh no!" Discord cringed.

The Slender Pony stomped and an evil looking pony in a red hat appeared.

"Hey, Cross Eyes, name's HABIT! I'm Slendy's pal! And we don't need worthles @#$% ponies like you! We're gonna !@#$%^ kill everypony, and just for that crack, we're gonna start with your precious girls and that doctor guy! Think we'll make 'em into muffins! Maybe even let you have a taste of 'em!"

"Oooooh nooooo..." Discord gulped.

The two demons turned back towards the castle, and saw Discord putting on a helmet and diving behind a bush.

"You have no idea what you've done, do you?"

"The buck you talking about, Discord?" HABIT snapped.

"Well... you see, I'm not the only one in Equestria who can kick your flank."

"Oh, please, we'll deal with those prissy princesses fine!"

"No, HABIT, this is much worse. See, Slendy, Cuz, you... have a spiritual opposite."

The abomination tilted its head in confusion.

"Yeah see, there's an entity in the multiverse that came into being the same way you did. It started out as a seemingly innocuous figure in the background, but there's something just strange enough to grab the attention of the Shadows Who Watch. Then, they latched onto that being, elevating it to meme status. As they gave it more attention, the being's presence increased. They Shadows Who Watch added to the entity's story. Ideas were latched onto, theories increased. The Shadows fed all their focus and attention to it, making it even more powerful.

"It builds and builds until the entity progressed so far beyond the Shadows Who Make's intent, and it became a being unto itself, so even the Shadows Who Make can't undo the change and its all more or less indivisible from the laws of reality. It exists, because the Shadows WILL it to exist. Except, where you represent the Shadows' sense of the unknown, mystery, and fear, this entity represents their humor, positivity, and fun."

"HA! So what? Where's this big bad spiritual opposite thing? Is it supposed to be you?"

"Oh, its not me. It's..."

"You..."

The Slender Pony and HABIT turned at the soft voice. Derpy stood there, glaring at them with a look that could make a dragon wet himself.

"You..." Derpy's eyes straightened and actually made the two abominations take a step back. "You hit me when I tried to be your friend... you ruin my groceries and now I won't be done baking in time for when Doc and the girls gets here... and you threaten to hurt my family?! MY DOCTOR?! MY MUFFINS?!"

"You pushed the Muffin Button!" Discord snapped away to join the Princesses on the balcony... and out of blast range. "Ya shouldn't 'a did that!"

"Oh, please! Lemme handle this." HABIT scoffed and pulled out a knife.

"I wouldn't do that!" Discord shouted. "Seriously, RUN HABIT, RUN!"

"Yeah, yeah, I-HURK!" HABIT gaped as Depry's hoof slammed into the demon's stomach. To the creature's surprise, his body had begun to fade away.

"YOU..."

"What?! But..." HABIT was knocked across the square by another kick from Derpy.

"BIG..."

HABIT scrambled as the furious pegasus launched at him

"WAIT! NO! STOP!..."

"JEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKSSSS!"

All that remained of HABIT was a splatter of ectoplasm as its evil spirit was sent screaming back to Tartarus.

The Slender Pony gawked as one of its most powerful minions was destroyed.

Then, Derpy turned to the Slender One. "NOW YOU'VE MADE ME ANGRY!!!"

The Slender One turned to run, but found the entire square was encased in a magic shield. It looked up and saw the Princesses with their horns glowing, creating the shield. Discord gave a sarcastic wave to his cousin as the grey pegasus stomped towards it.

"VERY... VERY... VEEEEERRRRYYYYY..."

Then, for the first time, in rememberence, the Slender One spoke "Discord, please send me to Tartarus!"

"Sorry, Cuz, you're on your own."

"AAAANNNGGGRRRYYYYYY!!!!"

Discord pulled out a big bowl of popcorn and passed it between the Princesses as the fight (if such a one sided beating could be called a fight) went on. The other Canterlot citizens soon joined them until a raucous crowd was cheering as Derpy laid the smackdown on the Slender Pony.

"GOOD SHOW, MISS HOOVES! EXCELLENT RIGHT HOOK!" Cheered Fancy Pants.

"KICK HIS PLOT, GIRL!"Sapphire Shores screamed.

"KNOCK HIS BLOODY HEAD OFF!"Roared Prince Blueblood, all cares of dignity and poise forgotten.

"Say, isn't that the mare who we awarded the honor of ;Greatest Mother and Strongest Willed Pony In Equestria'?" Luna mused.

"Yes, and I've read a report earlier that she saved Twilight during Tempest's invasion by throwing herself herself in front of an obsidian orb and being turned to stone in her place." Celestia nodded, munching on the popcorn.

"And now she's beating the snot out of the Slender Pony." Discord poured more a whol;e shaker's worth of salt on his popcorn.

"I think we'll need to plan a few more award ceremonies." Celestia snicked.

"Indeed, I wonder if a dame-hood would be out of the quest-OOH! Slendy's gonna feel that tomorrow."

"I think he feels it now!" Discord cringed as he crossed his mismatched legs.

Session 69.6 Kendell2

"Alright, time for the lead to take the stage..." said Adagio, giving a smirk as she headed onto the stage. "And time to add the final touches..."

Rainbow Dash glared at Trixie and Tempest Shadow as the boss spawned. Or rather BOSSES.

Queen Chrysalis AND Armor of Darkness at the same time (and that was on top of Chrysalis herself being a Boss Rush)!

The assembled players began fighting when Adagio rose up.

"Remember everybody, get the kill and you get a big bonus!" said Adagio with a smirk as she prepared her song.

= I Put A Spell On You - Hocus Pocus =

"I put a spell on you,
Keep track of time!
Missing out simply won't do!
I ain't lying!" she sang as the buffs began to activate.

Trixie aimed for Chrysalis while Rainbow aimed for Armor of Darkness, Tempest dashing back and forth between them in flurry.

"It's been a thousand years,
Since our big hay day!
Now this fish is back!
And she's here to stay!
I put a spell on you,
Keep track of time!" she sang, the beat intensifying with her singing.

Rainbow Dash, having fought this bonus boss, used that to her advantage to predict his attacks, aiming for openings...and doing her best to make sure Tempest didn't get in her way.

"Hello, heroes!
My name's Adagio!
What's yours?!" Adagio sang with a smirk.

"I put a spell on you,
Won't last too long!"

Trixie used hit and run tactics against Chrysalis...and, well Friendly Fire had been taken off, so who cared if another player got in the way?

"My whammy fell on you,
And it is strong!
You're wretched little lives have all been blessed!
'Cause of all the sirens working,
I'm the best!
I put a spell on you..." Adagio's eyes closed, then opened, the remade pendant in her purse glowing as her eyes pulsed with green magic.
"And now you're mine!"

Rainbow, Tempest, and Trixie all activated Depths mode and began tearing into the bosses.

"If you don't believe,
You better get superstitious,
Ask my sisters!"

"Ain't she vicious?" sang her sisters, poking their heads out for a moment with their own smirks.

The three all powered up their ultimate attacks at once.

"I put a spell on you..."

They struck, the bosses falling dead. Tempest had slain Chrysalis and Rainbow Armor of Darkness.

"I put a spell on you..."

With the bosses beaten, everyone was focused on Adagio as she made a sing with me gesture. Perhaps with a little music involved and the one immune so caught up in the glow of victory, they all followed.

"Hunc ego in corde meo abyssi!*" chanted Adagio.

"Hunc ego in corde meo abyssi!" the crowd chanted back, too caught up in the moment to THINK about what they were singing.

"Et vocant Siren's vox mea!" Adagio continued with a smirk.

"Et vocant Siren's vox mea!" the crowd chanted back.

"Hey, hey, high, high.
Say bye-bye!
Bye-bye!" Adagio finished, the crowd applauding as the winners got their special items (Tempest a chest plate and Rainbow leg armor). The Alpha Siren walked back inside, looking at her false pendant, which pulsed with energy. "Just the final ritual remains..."

Rainbow scratched her neck below her shirt. "Ugh, why am I itching all of a sudden?" she asked before returning to play...not noticing fish-like scales had began to form.

* I pledge my heart to the deep
And call a Siren's voice to me.

Session 69.7 Grogar-The-Oneser

"You know I think we did the right with avoiding the game for the most part," Rarity said.

"Tell me about it," Sunset muttered, she hated the bounty hunter system.

"I'm a little worry about Dashie though," Pinkie said. "I heard she's still playing that thing and we all know how competitive she gets."

"I'm sure she's fine, she's not that egotistical enough to get to involve in that game... right?" Rarity questioned.

Y-yeah... It not like she's going to let this Trixie thing and the competitive competition in anyway..." Twilight muttered.

"... Oh who are we kidding, we better check on her," Applejack stated as everyone agreed.

Session 69.8 Mtangalion (updated!)

While the Dazzlings were cooling down from that last song, Aria gulped cold water from a bottle and poked at the laptop. "We're getting feedback on the network," she announced, suddenly concerned. Someone's taking the magic but pushing back against the corruption."

Adagio frowned. "Find out who it is and cut them out. We don't need any hecklers at the grand finale."

On the other side of the convention hall, Gilda hissed, clutching at a sudden headache and scratching her table with her fingernails. "What the squawk?" She pulled off her eyepatch and looked at it suspiciously. "Do these gizmos cause some kinda killer eyestrain if you use them too long?"

Then she froze, focusing on the pale purple feathered bangs that hung partly over her face. Gilda grabbed a lock, pulling it down for a better look, and she got a fist full of... feathers. She patted her head frantically. More feathers. All of her hair was feathers now, and she remembered that smell... from her time in Equestria.

"No, no no! That isn't supposed to happen here!" Gilda patted her nose and checked her hands, but thankfully nothing else had changed. "Okay. Nothing to panic about... yet." A thought occurred to her, and she groaned. "I guess I'd better show this to Twi and Bacon-head, even if they're just gonna science all over me."

Gilda got up, obviously in a hurry, and some other jerk didn't watch where he was going and walked right into her.

"Hey!" yelled the pale-skinned boy with blue and black hair, wearing a Griffonstone letter jacket. "Why don't you watch where you're... Gilda?"

Gilda gawked. "Gerold? What the heck, why did you come here?" Ugh, now she felt guilty for sending that letter instead of breaking up with him in person.

But Gerold looked even more flustered than she did. "I can explain! My kid brother plays World of Horsecraft and I'm here keeping an eye on him and... Jeez, that sounds lame, even to me."

Gilda blinked. "Wait, so you're..." She clamped her big mouth shut before she could say ‘the other Gerold.'

"Yeah, that's right," said the human world's Gerold. He smirked. "And if you tell everybody that I play this dumb role-playing game, then I'll tell everyone you play it too! Nice cosplay, by the way."

Gilda smirked. "Oh, you totally got me." She glanced around. "So, I take it Giselle doesn't play."

Gerold's grin crashed. "She... went to college out of state and got another boyfriend already. Sucks, huh? Hey, what about you and that Karl guy?"

Gilda cringed, remembering that spur of the moment alias. "He... kinda had to go. His people needed him."

Gerold blinked, digesting this. "So..."

Gilda shrugged. "Yeah?"

Gerold clapped his hands together. "There were some food stalls back down the hall that way. Wanna go grab a bite?"

Gilda's jaw dropped. Then she nearly burst out laughing. "Dude, seriously? You want to date me for real now, after you got so mad about those rumors that we were dating?"

"Sh- shut up!" stammered Gerold. "As if I'd ask you on a date!" He recovered somewhat. "Yeah, you'd just be comparing me to Karl the whole time."

Gilda bristled. Figuratively... still figuratively, and hopefully it'd stay that way. "Well, duh. He's twice as handsome as you."

Gerold jabbed a finger towards her. "He was identical to me, something you still haven't explained!"

"Well, I'm not gonna explain!" countered Gilda. "So you can just keep wondering!"

"Fine!" shouted Gerold. He turned away sharply, arms folded.

"Whatever!" Gilda did the same, wishing she had a door she could slam. "Glad we got that bucking cleared up!"

Other convention attendees around them watched with a kind of awed silence. A skinny boy with brown hair in a bowl cut snapped a picture.

Gerold coughed. "So, uh... does a cheeseburger sound okay?"

Gilda glanced over towards the stage, where the Dazzlings had started performing again. "Actually, I have the weirdest craving for seafood. What the hay. Lunch date it is."

Then the people around them started cheering and clapping, and a blushing Gilda grabbed Gerold's hand and stalked away in search of those food vendors, hauling him behind her.

Session 69.9 Kendell2 *SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE!*

"President Sombra?"

Sombra gave a groan. With all the trouble that MOBA had been causing with players going a tad bit overboard (something they probably should've expected in all honesty), it was quite the night. "Yes?" he asked, looking up to find a woman with light fuchsia grey skin and fuchsia hair standing at the door in a suit. "Oh, hello Principle Novo, how are things over at Hippogriffia High School?"

Novo gave a growl. "I'm Principle of Seaquestria High now. Hippogriffia High went bankrupt after our superintendent got the school a loan from the Storm King for some school repairs. Fell hook, line, and sinker for it. Gave me my new job as an apology."

Sombra cringed. "Sorry to hear that."

"It's fine, Seaquestria High is by the beach and a lot quieter," the Principle replied. "...However, I DID hear that no good Storm King is getting an expansion?"

"...How did you know?"

"My daughter had a backstage pass and overheard."

Sombra sighed. "Look, I was able to squeeze some money out of that no account, that's all...that and he has Tirek behind him."

Novo sighed. "Tell me about it, only reason we didn't sue the pants off that nasty loanshark..." she muttered. "...However, you guys do add some new stuff each expansion, don't you?"

"...Yes..."

"My daughter has some designs. And I think it'd be quite therapeutic to see something representing us give something representing him a kick in the tail."

Sombra tapped his chin. "Well, I can't promise anything...but I can have a look."

Novo gave a smile. "Thank you. Skystar! Mind coming in?"

"Coming mom!" called a voice and in ran a yellow skinned girl with a cyan head of hair. "Hi! I'm Skystar!"

"My daughter's drawn a lot since we moved to Seaquestria, you know how it is, new place, not a lot of people she knows."

"That's why I collect seashells and make things out of them...including friends..." the girl put her drawings down and produced two shells with googly eyes. "These are Shelly and Sheldon..."

"...Right..." Sombra said, blinking. He looked at the papers and found the design rather creative. "Hmm...these ARE good...What do you call these, Miss Skystar?"

"These are called Hippogriffs," said the girl, pointing to the creatures that, despite likewise being half bird, differed greatly from griffins. Looking more like a horse merged with an eagle. "And these are Sea Ponies!" she said, showing the others, which looked like merhorses. "I had the idea they could use water magic to move on land!"

Sombra tapped his chin. "There might actually be a good place for that..."

"Hmm..."

The three jumped, finding Radiant watching from nearby.

"Oh! Radiant! This is Principle Novo of Seaquestria High School and her daughter Skystar. They're offering some ideas for a future Horsecraft expansion," Sombra explained.

"So I heard..." Radiant said, giving a wave and shaking both their hands. She the gave a small gasp, looking at the sea ponies. "...You said these could move on land using water?"

Skystar nodded. "Yep!"

"...Well, I don't have much creative control of Horsecraft...but I was hoping to find a way to make the water able to be explored in Crystals and Rainbows too. Right now it's just somewhere to swim or search for islands, none of the playable races really had a place to go look...The idea of huge, beautiful underwater areas really fits the core idea of it."

The girl gasped. "The Crystals and Rainbows game? Oh I'm looking forwards to that one! Then I can go play with friends instead of just making them out of shells...no offense Shelly and Sheldon..."

Radiant chuckled. "Then even if Sombra can't find a use for them, maybe I can..."

Session 69.10 Alex Warlorn

A thousand monkeys, with a thousand type writers, will actually rarely if ever produce Shakespeare. But a broken clock will be right twice a day.

Starlight Glimmer, of the human world, was continuing her investigation into this game, even if her parents thought she needed help, and a psychologist said she had the making of a cult leader. Starlight at least considered this ironic given her world views.

While she believed in 'from each according to his ability, to each according to his need' some of her other views didn't quite fit, fitting more with what some could call a 'moral busy body' (Starlight was infuriated at that comparison, she just thought of herself has being concerned for people being spared corruptive influences). Starlight was also VERY intelligent and a VERY fast learner, having cleared collage while others were still in high school.

So she was getting the hang of the game, and her opinion hadn't changed in the least. That there were playing looking to collect the 'bounty' on her every time she logged in might have been part of it. But... she ALSO knew exactly what those last few lyrics ACTUALLY were.

She told the silver haired girl with blue skin, and she'd laughed in Starlight's face that it was just part of the video game.

Starlight had then told the local news paper and they'd slapped the door in her face.

The police had threatened to arrest her for purposely wasting their time.

Session 69.11 Alex Warlorn *SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE!*

"I can't believe this! This is an outrage!" Grubber said, waving around a packaged toy. "The last toyline they got out before the boss kicked the bucket, and this is what I get?!" I was a action figure of Tempest Shadow: fully posable. The toy also came with a 'rolled switch on back to make horn spark' feature (arguments it was a fire hazard had resulted in it being reworked). And of course with snap on mecha armor. And there was also a small figure of Grubber, a solid piece, without poses, and off color.

"I get stuck as an add-on to Tempest's action figure?"

"Tell me about it," Spike said sitting next to the minion, Spike himself holding a still boxed figure of Twilight Sparkle with an unposable figurine of himself included.

Session 69.12 Ardashir

"Hello FBI? My name is Starlight Glimmer! The local gaming con is actually a front for some extra-dimensional monsters trying to conquer Earth through mind-control! Now how soon can you get some agents over here -" CLICK. "Hello? Hello! Why is no one taking me seriously!"

Session 69.13 Kendell2*SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE? Maybe?*

Grubber clinched the controller, sitting with the foals watching as Button did indeed keep his word and force the Hedgehog to play Phantoms 'n Ghouls as part of his punishment. And intended to make him finish it.

And he had...for the last few hours and several hundred continues later. And filled up half the swear jar Maternity had put in place.

"Ponies play this for FUN?!" he asked as his knight was once again reduced to a pile of bones.

"No, they play it to see if it's really as hard as everypony says," Scootaloo replied with a smirk. "And ponies say Dark Spirits is hard..."

"I play it for fun..." said Button.

"Yeah, but you're YOU. You're the only pony I've ever seen beat it in an hour," Scootaloo replied. It normally took 6 hours on average to beat. "Which makes it awesome to watch you play."

Soon enough, Grubber FINALLY managed to kill the final boss. "THERE! FINALLY!" the Hedgehog yelled in frustration. He then blinked. "...Wait, what?"

"THIS ROOM IS AN ILLUSION AND
IS A TRAP DEVISUT BY MORNING STAR.
GO AHEAD DAUNTLESSLY!
MAKE RAPID PROGRES!" the screen said...then put him right back on LEVEL ONE.

"WHAT?!" asked the hedgehog, eyes wide.

"Yeah, now you have to beat the whole game a second time on a higher difficulty to beat the game," said Button Mash, causing Grubber's eye to start twitching.

The foals quickly put in ear plugs as Grubber reacted naturally to this revelation. And filled up the rest of the swear jar.

Session 69.14 Kendell2*SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE??*

"Ugh...I can't believe this..." said Fizzlepop, coming in with a sigh.

Starlight merely glared at her but said nothing.

"What?" asked Twilight.

The unicorn put a film reel on the table along with a poster.

"...Storm King the Movie?!"

The movie poster was the Storm King standing with his Staff in the most over the top pose possible, with Tempest standing next to him looking ominous (but also overly sexualized and wearing as little armor as possible) and Grubber...looking like a cute comedy relief animal next to him.

"The Storm King preemptively made a movie about himself before the invasion even STARTED," Fizzlepop explained, blushing as she looked at herself on the poster. "And now the director and writer wants his contract to be upheld...But there's NO way we can release...this thing..."

"Why?" Twilight asked.

"...WHY AM I ADORABLE?!" Grubber asked, seeming insulted as his inmovie self basically existed to look cute and be the butt of every joke.

Fizzlepop looked mortified. "I can't believe he made me like that..."

"What? You beat up like ten guards every scene you were in," Rainbow Dash replied, then grumbled. "And all five of us at once..."

"And me and Trixie...but you actually did that, so I guess that's okay," Starlight said, biting sarcasm rather clear in her tone.

"Yeah, while angsting about my broken horn and being as brooding as physically possible!" the mare replied.

"...Yeah, good point..." Rainbow admitted.

"And look at what I'm wearing! Why would I wear that?! Did he WANT me to get stalkers or something?!"

"Hey, at least you have a personality! I just stand there bragging the entire time!" Rainbow Dash complained. "Not to mention I would NOT go down that easily."

"...Really?"

Rainbow Dash glared. "And what's THAT supposed to mean?"

"Well you ran the entire time..."

"We weren't running FROM you, we were running TOWARDS the Hippogriffs!" Rainbow Dash replied. "If you hadn't redeemed yourself, I'd have gone through you to save Twilight! I'm a bucking BLACK BELT and I've been training with the Wonderbolts!"

The two looked at one another for a few moments.

"...Sparring match outside?" asked Fizzlepop.

"...You're on..."

The two went outside and the sounds of martial arts yells, punches landing, and the occasional explosion of lightning resounded.

"...Why did they make me keep going on and on about how evil I was?" Starlight asked...then blinked, noticing the looks she got. "Oh come on, I don't actually do that, do I?!"

"...Um...sort of..." Twilight admitted.

"Ow..." muttered Fizzlepop and Rainbow, crawling back in and falling to the ground, both battered, beaten, and lightning shocked.

"...We tied..." groaned Rainbow Dash.

"...Well at least she didn't win," Starlight muttered, still glaring at the mare.

"...Hey, Twilight?" asked Pinkie Pie. "Was the actress playing you tapping something in code right there?"

Twilight blinked, rewinding the reel and rewatching her in movie actress tap out something on the wall beside her. "'Help me, I have been kidnapped by an evil overlord and forced to act in this stupid movie. Send help please'..." the Princess looked at Fizzlepop.

"......What? You thought the Storm King would settle for any old slaves to act in his personal egostroking biographical movie? He kidnapped actors he liked...that sounded way less evil in my head..."

"...Is that why Ah'm played by a stallion?" Applejack asked in annoyance.

"...No, the Storm King actually thought you were a guy..."

"...Darn it, he's dead so Ah can't go slap 'em..."

Session 69.15 Ardashir*SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE? Maybe?*

The girls were trying to get into the mood for a night of gaming, so they decided to watch a few DVDs of horror movies Sunset had sent over to Twilight from her world to get in the mood for some monster-fighting.

Instead, they were getting confused.

"So, they have a holiday in the human world that's like Nightmare Night?" Starlight asked, tilting her head to the side. On the screen Twilight and Spike normally used for the few educational films the old tree library had, a gigantic hairy spider closed in on a herd of panicked horses in a corral. "But... instead of Nightmare Moon, it has giant spiders?"

"Come on," Tempest snorted in disgust at the horses on the screen. They whinnied in panic as the hideous monster lowered its fangs towards them. "Fight! Run away! Do something! Why aren't the unicorns casting spells? Do they want to get eaten?" Behind her, Grubber hid in panic like during the first film with the human version of Frankenstag's Monster.

"I've told you, Tempest," Twilight came back into the room, carrying both a bowl of treats and a message from Sunset that had arrived along with the films in her magic. "The horses of that world aren't intelligent and can't use magic. In fact, except for a few animals affected by leaking Equestrian magic, only the humans are sapient."

"Oh, yes. I remember." Tempest rolled her eyes dramatically. "No magic and only one sapient species. I bet next you'll tell me they don't have Princesses to raise the Sun and Moon."

"Actually? To go by what little I read there, they have a 'solar system' centered around their Sun, and their 'Equs' revolves around it." Not for the first time, Twilight found herself confronting over half a dozen amused and disbelieving equine faces. She decided to drop it. "And their holiday isn't about giant spiders, it's about celebrating anything they find frightening. They even do parades about it. Sunset says the Dazzlings helped last year." Twilight frowned when she said that.

"What's the matter, darling?" Rarity asked, glad of an excuse to turn way from the gigantic arachnid onscreen. Beside her Fluttershy watched avidly, shaking her head in dismay.

"Um, someone should have told these people that you don't test a venom by tasting it," she said with a frown. Applejack and Rainbow Dash beside her looked vaguely disgusted as she added, "Especially spider venom, it's more like an acid than a poison. It would have dissolved that human stallion's hand..."

"I'm not sure," Twilight said with a frown as she sat down next to Rarity. "Sunset told me that the Dazzlings were working with the company that makes the 'World of Ponycraft' game, and they seemed to be leaving their bad old ways behind them. But now the company came out with this new game, a MOBA-something or other, a few days ago, and it's like everypony there is fighting over it."

"Oooh!" Pinkie spoke up from where she watched the action on the screen. "Does she need out help? Is it time for another crossover?"

"Crossover?" Tempest looked around in confusion at the party pony's words.

Everypony else there had just two words. "It's Pinkie."

"Not really," Twilight said. "Sunset just said everypony's feeling a little touchy right now, but she thinks it'll be okay." As she spoke the movie ended with the spider roasted by napalm before it could eat an entire town. The mares whickered amusement at how fake it all looked. When you have faced real giant monsters, cinematic ones were unimpressive. "Okay, girls, ready yet?"

"No," Tempest shook her head. She pointed at the DVD in disgust. "Those horses -- ugh! Even if they were just animals," she shuddered at the thought, "they should have known enough to run away from something the size of an airship! I need to see something else to take my mind off horses being eaten."

"Sure ya don't just wanna see another o' Twi's fancy movies?" Applejack asked with a grin. Tempest blushed, slightly.

Twilight rolled her eyes skywards but set one more DVD on. "Okay. Just one more. This one must be foreign," she looked at the cover which displayed horses and a restaurant. "International Cuisine -- 'Viande de Cheval*'?"

"Sounds like it's from Prance," Rarity said. "Might as well see what it's like. These films aren't really scary, you know."

"They sure aren't," Twilight agreed as she started the film.

Ten minutes later the DVD was trampled underhoof, Fluttershy was in a faint, Dash looked to be in shock, Applejack was trying to revive Rarity, Tempest and Starlight had both turned green and raced off to find a bucket to puke into, Pinkie's eyes were swirling as she moaned something about 'that lousy fanfic again', and Twilight was busily writing a note to Sunset.

"...And once again, Sunset, before sending us these things, make sure you read the title!"

* -- 'Viande de Cheval', French for 'horse meat'.

Session 69.16 Richforce*Spoilers for Uncommon bond and (very very slight) for Shadow Play*

*Spoilers for Uncommon bond and (very very slight) for Shadow Play*

Garble took the die in his talon and rolled a two, after moving this dargon shaped piece the same number of spaces closer to the top of the plastic volcano the sound of moving gears could be heard.
Starlight started to squeal. "Someone's going to fall into the Dragon Pit!"

A second later a marble shot out of the volcano and began rolling down one of the groves to the bottom. The marble hit Gilda's piece, the space it was on opened and causing the piece to fall into the hole. Starlight, Sunburst and Gilda all started laughing.

"Isn't this fun?" Gilda asked the transformed Drake.

"No," Garble said curtly. "I can't believe you ponies took Dragon Pit and made it lame."

Starlight huffed. "You're calling me and Sunburst's favorite childhood game lame?"

"Well yeah, you're doing it all wrong."

"So how do Dragons play Dragon Pit?" asked Sunburst.

"We use real boulders and a real volcano, first to make it to the top without flying wins."

Starlight recoiled. "Isn't that a little dangerous?"

"No more than gorge surfing down a lavaflow, at least if you're a dragon."

"Well I found that interesting," said Sunburst. "Right Gilda?"

Gilda however seemed to zone out.

"Are you ok?" asked Starlight.

Gilda shook her head. "Sure, we can get back to the game, just need to do something first."

+++

"Here comes the volcano again," said Starlight.

"Hold on a sec," said Gilda. She tightened the strap on Gargle's helmet, just one piece of the safety gear that was over-encumbering the griffin chick. "Ok ready."

Garble wanted to scream at the how Gilda's "mother hen" mode was make her over protective, but her couldn't even move his beak enough to do that.

Session 69.17 Zaku789

"We got another demand from Garble. He wants to be free from ambassador position, find a cure to his transformation... and wants a restraining order on a griffin."

"First of all were dragons, we don't do restraining order. Secondly unless he somehow appeals to either my father or his rival, defeated a eldritch abomination or quite somehow learn actual ambassador skills he is to remain in his post and keep the shape he is currently in." Ember said calmly.

Session 69.18 Mtangalion (Spoilers For Secrets and Pies)

A little before dawn, in her room at Rarity's Ponyville Boutique, Sweetie Belle was snugly wrapped in her bedcovers when a light began to glow from under her bed. The sleepy young unicorn shaded her eyes with a hoof, then rolled onto her side, pulling the covers closer. "Just a few more minutes, sis..."

The glow flared brighter, and something heavy rolled out from under the bed and thumped onto the floor rug. "Hah, was right! Secret passage is portal! Come quick!" There was a lot more scuffling and panting and sniffing of things.

Sweetie Belle blinked, rubbing her eyes, then gasped at the sight of five pairs of glowing eyes, reflecting the predawn glow from her window. She fumbled for the bedside lamp with her magic, and the light revealed the whole diamond wolf puppy pack from Icehome, sitting here, in her bedroom! "Pavel?! Elena, Kayta... Andrei, Sasha... how did you all get here?"

"Great surprise, isn't it?" said Pavel, puffing his chest out. "Pups are clever, found one of Alisa's secrets while she's away."

Sweetie Belle sat up in bed, still confused. Unexpectedly the pups all gasped, taking a step back. "Sviti's sister wasn't joking?" exclaimed Elena. "Sviti really IS a pony?!"

"Wh- what?" Sweetie pulled the sheets over herself again. "I, uh... Of course I'm not a pony! I had to... sleep in my pony suit to avoid suspicion!" She gave them a teeth-hidden grin and chuckled, hoping it didn't sound too forced. "Let me just take it off right quick!" She scrambled for the walk-in closet and shut herself in, then pulled out the hidden box and got into her wolf pup costume in record time.

Sweetie's bedroom door started to swing open. "Sweetie Belle!" called Rarity sharply. "What is all this ruckus at such an ungodly hour?"

Sweetie tensed. "Oh no!" She scrunched up her forehead, and the pale green glow of her magic surrounded Rarity and yanked her into the closet too.

Rarity shrieked. "Young mare, what have I told you about ponyhandling others with your magic?! What.. what is this? What are you..."

"Sorry, Rarity!" hissed Sweetie, grabbing the other spare costume in her magic. "Please, just play along!"

After a lot more banging around and cloth rustling, the door to the closet swung open, revealing two white-furred diamond wolves, a pup with pink accents in her mane and tail, and a grown female wolf with deeper purple swirls and face markings.

"Why, I never!" growled wolf Rarity, starting to stalk away with her nose in the air. "I refuse to play along with this..." And then she noticed her reflection in Sweetie's full length mirror and backed up. "Oooh." She tossed her mane left and right, checking herself out.

Sweetie opened her mouth.

"Hush!" yipped Rarity. "I'm feeling... inspired! Yes, yes!" Rarity snatched up a pencil and sketch pad, seemingly out of nowhere. "Why didn't I try this sooner? I'm seeing everything in a whole new light, aesthetically speaking of course." She put pencil to paper with her paws, momentarily stymied, and then she twirled the pencil with her toes. "Oh, handy." She started rapidly sketching lupine forms and new jeweled collar designs. "Hah, just you watch! Why, I might just manage to sell suits and dresses in Icehome after all!"

Pavel blinked and looked to Sweetie, wagging his tail in confusion. "So... can we be playing Ponies and Princesses game now?"

Right about then, in Sugarcube Corner, Rainbow Dash was just about to bite into a well-deserved doughnut before Wonderbolts practice. Suddenly she gasped and spun in place, orienting on something only she seemed able to see. "Omigosh, I have to go! Somepony's been lying to her friends!"

Suddenly, Pinkie Pie was right in Dash's way, keeping her from flying off. "What's that, Dashie? You can't just be sensing weird things, you know." She grinned too broadly, shaking her mane into a frazzled Twilight-style mane. "There must be some rational explanation!"

"It's my Element of Loyalty," protested Dash, trying to dart around Pinkie, but even with her famous speed, she couldn't overcome Pinkie's comedic timing. "You can't explain that!"

"Really?" asked Pinkie, shaking her mane back to normal and grinning all the more. "It sure is funny how you're just now sensing things like this. Maybe if YOU hadn't been lying to YOUR friend for years and years about pie, maybe..."

"Okay, okay, you made your point!" bellowed Dash. "How many times do I have to apologize?"

"Aww... Sorry I gave you a hard time again, Dashie." Pinkie snatched Dash's doughnut, shoved it into a to-go bag, and added an extra bagel. "Want me to show you where the shortcuts are?"

Dash twitched. "Ummm... I'll fly, thanks."

Session 69.19 Mtangalion (Spoilers For Uncommon Bonds)

(Spoilers for Uncommon Bond)

Sunburst stepped out onto the castle balcony and immediately shivered, wrapping himself tighter in his cloak. The moonlit town of Ponyville below had more lights on than usual - a lot of ponies had put out their Nightmare Night decorations early.

Starlight Glimmer was already outside, adjusting the telescope. She raised an eyebrow, noticing him. "Don't you know a warming charm?”

"I know twelve different warming charms,” said Sunburst, teeth chattering. "I'm trying to decide which one to use!”

Starlight smirked. "I still can't believe you went to all that trouble… all those costumes, the giant game board… just to recreate a game that, admittedly, I've been a little too obsessed with.”

Sunburst blushed, adjusting his spectacles. "Well, Princess Twilight already had the basic costume. Something about a dragon migration? I knew some repair and color changing spells, and Twilight made duplicates and…”

Starlight leaned closer. "Mmm… Maybe you really do want to make this relationship work after all.” Sunburst stared back at her, mesmerized. The regular kind, not the magical kind. Their muzzles drew closer...

The moment was shattered by a chorus of voices from inside the castle. "It's Guys Night! UH HUH! It's Guys Night! OH YEAH!”

"Guys Night!?” exclaimed Sunburst. "Ooh, what's that?”

Starlight groaned. "Don't mind them. They just goof around doing stallion stuff and play O&O…”

"O&O!” Sunburst cantered in place excitedly. "A Guys Night… with O&O? I have to see this!” He dashed back into the castle, all thoughts of watching the stars with her forgotten.

Starlight gaped, then facehoofed. "Ogres and Oubliettes, of course! Ugh, what is wrong with me? That should have been the very first activity I thought of to patch things up between us!” She teleported into the castle, scouting around for Sunburst, then teleported again, landing in the room with the Cutie Map and the crystal thrones.

"But of course, you may join in!” Discord was saying, wearing a tux and making a sweeping bow while beckoning Sunburst towards the table.

Big Macintosh grinned broadly, setting out more miniatures, dice, and bowls of snacks. "Eeyup! Make yerself right at home.”

"Eh, whatever!” said Garble, a teenaged red dragon once again. "I'm only doing this because I get to be a dragon for the game.” He chuckled darkly and hissed to Spike. "And maybe Dimcord will forget to turn me back afterwards!”

Spike grinned sharply, flexing his mighty dragon muscles. For real, this time… Discord had aged Spike up to the same size as Garble. "I won't remind him if you don't!”

Sunburst squee'd and trotted right up to the table, but when Starlight tried to follow, a train crossing gate appeared and swung down to block her way, lights flashing and bells clanging.

Discord zipped over to her, riding an invisible motorcycle. "Stop! You violated the law! Pay the court a fine or… Hmm...” The draconequus frowned at some cue cards, then tossed one away. "Ah, ah, ah!” He wagged a talon. "Tonight is Guys Night. You know the rules!”

Starlight gulped. "If that's what it takes to spend time with Sunburst doing things we both enjoy…” She took a deep breath. "Go ahead and do it.”

Discord blinked, somewhat taken back. He disappeared in a flash and reappeared as a tiny version of himself coming out of Starlight's ear. "Really? You're not going to do it yourself?”

Starlight looked awkward, repressing the urge to swat him. "My magic does have limits, Discord.”

"Oh. You could have fooled me.” Discord popped away, and then a brighter flash of chaos engulfed Starlight.

A pink and purple *stallion* stepped up to the game table, tossing his artfully disheveled mane confidently. "Say hello to Starshine Glamour, boys.” He reared up and slammed his hooves on the Cutie Map. "That Squizzard doesn't stand a chance tonight!”

Sunburst gawked. "I am so conflicted right now… but I call dibs on organizing the party inventory!”

Starshine whinnied. "Hey, I wanted to do that!”

Session 69.20 QuartzScale

Discord stared at the title and realized what number it was before flopping around laughing like a fool.

Pinkie popped in seeing what was going on and joined in. Throughout their laughing session nopony knew why they were laughing but they realized that they were missing something.

Twilight lit up her horn casting a spell to see what they saw... then she facehoofed in exasperation while her cheeks flared up red. "Grow up you two!!"

Session 69.21 Arashir

"So, Starlight Glimmer," Tempest smiled coldly at her over the table, "are you ready?" She slapped down her hoof-full of cards. "A flush." She began reaching for the small gemstones on the table -- they were worthless enough to be used for friendly card games -- but stopped as Starlight cleared her throat.

"Sorry, Miss Edgy Mare," Starlight smoothly set her own cards down. Tempest drooped as she saw them. "Full house." Starlight gathered the gems in as Tempest began shuffling the cards again.

"You were lucky."

"No, I took lessons from Spike. Just don't tell Twilight, she doesn't want him showing other ponies how to win at cards and dice." As she spoke Starlight looked around, "Say, where is Grubber? He's usually with you when he's not with the Cutie Mark Crusaders."

"He's still on Princess-enforced parole," Tempest picked up a newspaper and showed the movie section to Starlight. "The girls and their friends wanted to see some horror movies they're showing at the Ponyville theater for Nightmare Night, but they needed an escort and... now what's wrong?"

"Tempest! Oh, no!" Starlight jumped up and hurried to the door. "I did that once a year ago! I had nightmares for weeks afterwards! Grubber will be traumatized!" She ran out the door and galloped off towards the theater, her hooves clip-clopping over the dirt street.

"Hah!" Tempest ran out after her, hurrying to keep up. "Don't worry, the movie they wanted to see is some silly Neighponese film. Those are all full of ponies in rubber suits pretending to destroy toy cities; how bad can it be?"

"Really?" Starlight slowed down, seeing the theater ahead. They trotted closer, noticing that the movie must be over as the theater emptied. "That's a relief. Which film was it?"

The amused look on Starlight's face faded as Tempest pointed to a poster bearing the words, JIGOKU: Sinners in Tartarus*. As she stared, several fillies emerged and approached them. The CMC were in the lead, followed closely by Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara. The latter two looked rather green.

"The oni were, like, boiling those ponies," Silver shivered. "I hope Princess Luna will be around in my dreams tonight."

"Coats made out of pony leather," Diamond looked stunned, her eyes wide. "I thought we were were gonna see something we could laugh at."

"Sorry, girls," Apple Bloom looked away in embarrassment. "Ah just saw it was gonna be a Neighpon film an' Ah thought thet meant big monsters."

"Eh, that movie was too talky," Scootaloo sniffed. "I thought were were gonna see big rubber monsters knock Neighpon down in between fighting each other. That was just some silly ponies talking a lot in between footage of Tartarus. And they made a lot of that up. I'd rather see giant dragons fighting."

"Rarity told me that dragons were starting to protest that the movies unfairly stereotyped them," Sweetie looked up and saw the two mares. "Oh, hi, Miss Starlight, Miss Tempest. Are you looking for Grubber?"

"Yes," Tempest said, looking around. "Where is he?"

Apple Bloom just turned around to reveal Grubber. He was clinging to her back. His spikes stuck out in every direction. His eyes were wide enough to swallow his face and his pupils seemed shrunk down to pinpoints.

Tempest approached warily. "Er, Grubber?"

"Lakes of boiling oil. Getting jabbed in the butt with pitchforks. Dragging that fat Judge of Tartarus around in his iron chariot forever." Grubber seemed to shake it off and grabbed Tempest. "Oh, Tempest, we gotta be nice to make up for everything or we're gonna go to the Bad Place! And it's really bad!"

(OOC: * -- Search for the Japanese movie 'Jigoku' for more. The Equestrian version wasn't nearly as nasty though!)

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 69.0 QuartzScale *SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE!*
Session 69.1 Kendell2 *SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE!*
Session 69.2 Mtangalion *SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE!*
Session 69.3 Ardashir (continue from 69.1 )
Session 69.4 Kendell2 *SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE!*
Session 69.5 Wolfram-and-Hart
Session 69.6 Kendell2
Session 69.7 Grogar-The-Oneser
Session 69.8 Mtangalion (updated)
Session 69.9 Kendell2 *SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE!*
Session 69.10 Alex Warlorn
Session 69.11 Alex Warlorn *SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE!*
Session 69.12 Ardashir
Session 69.13 Kendell2*SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE? Maybe?*
Session 69.14 Kendell2*SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE? Maybe?*
Session 69.15 Ardashir*SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE? Maybe?*
Session 69.16 Richforce*Spoilers for Uncommon bond and (very very slight) for Shadow Play*
Session 69.17 Zaku789
Session 69.18 Mtangalion (Spoilers For Secrets and Pies)
Session 69.19 Mtangalion (Spoilers For Uncommon Bonds)
Session 69.20 QuartzScale
Session 69.21 Arashir

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Picture by punzil504, used with permission.

Session 70 (movie spoilers?)

Session 70.0 ardashir MtangaLion Alex Warlorn (continued from Session 69.2 )

"But Twilight, you SHOULD have your own Guard Ponies by now!" Starlight exasperated.

"I'm sorry!" Princess Twilight said politely but firmly showing the guards out. "I just don't have a big enough my Princess Allowance to pay for all of you! I wish Cadence would get the message, she keeps sending me all those young healthy stallion guards my way that the rest of Equestria could clearly use more instead! I couldn't even afford to keep the quadruplets who serve as my honor guard for my coronation!"

"Trixie thinks you need a bigger allowance."

Session 70.1 ardashir MtangaLion Alex Warlorn (continued from Session 69.3 )

"We won't have long to wait." Luna said looking at the puppy terror, "We're good we now... until Fenris comes looking for us."

Discord popped back in... wearing a Tropical Island Pony shirt with garlands with sunglasses, and Fluttershy next to him wearing a vacation hat. "Don't worry about it. Fenrir's father is the god of mischief. Guess who?"

The sky tore open as a wolf that dwarfed the previous beast with eyes like flame covered in chains that it dwarfed Skoll/Hati. The chains looked like they had been tied, broken, retied, and broken again more than once.

"Dad! Why did you zap your own grandsons like that? We thought you wanted to see someone eat Celestia and Luna! Or have things changed in the thousand years or so since we last met?"

Luna pulled up her hoof to find the two headed up chewing on her hoof utterly futilely but relentlessly.

"We raised him on dwarf stars and micromoons." Fenris explained.

"We are fairy sure that micromoons are a date and time, not a heavenly body." Luna said.

"So?"

Fluttershy looked at Fenris to Skoll/Hati in aghast. "Discord! I thought we had something special!"

Fenris looked at Fluttershy and licked his fangs. "Ooh, a snack! Thanks, Dad, I knew you were still cool -- "

His muzzle zipped shut.

Discord said firmly, "Boy, don't even think about it. And well, Fluttershy, a few centuries before I was imprisoned in stone I met this shapeshifting she-demon named Angrboda, and, well, after a few drinks... Don't worry, my other two kids are much better behaved than Fenris here."

A personal portal to Tartarus materized out of thin air, and a mare came out who appeared to be half undead like the ponies of Sunny Twon. Pony!Hela said, "So you finally remembered us? Feh, life still sucks and I'm half dead."

The great Jormungandr extending back to the horizon, lowered his head down at the bizarre meeting, "Does this mean we can visit? You have 1500 years of unsent birthday gifts to make up for!"

The newly returned royal guard had its hooves full preventing a panic at the family union.

Fluttershy looked sternly at Discord, "... Are you going to be this neglecting when we have children?"

"What? Oh, no! I'm much better now! I'd never allow any of my good, I mean, new children to be shackled in a haunted forest or be flung into the Underworld or hurled into the sea where they grow so long they circle the globe and bite their own tail... I'm not helping, am I?"

"YOU'RE GETTING A NEW MOMMY!? YOU NEVER LOVED GRANDMA! WHHAAAAHHHHH!!!" Skoll/Hati ran away crying.

Discord shrank at all the angry eyes baring down at him. "Well... this is awkward. WHOSE FOR A GAME OF OGRES AND OUBLIETTES?!"

Session 70.2 Kendll2 movie spoilers?

Grubber clinched the controller, sitting with the foals watching as Button did indeed keep his word and force the Hedgehog to play Phantoms 'n Ghouls as part of his punishment. And intended to make him finish it.

And he had...for the last few hours and several hundred continues later. And filled up half the swear jar Maternity had put in place.

"Ponies play this for FUN?!" he asked as his knight was once again reduced to a pile of bones.

"No, they play it to see if it's really as hard as everypony says," Scootaloo replied with a smirk. "And ponies say Dark Spirits is hard..."

"I play it for fun..." said Button.

"Yeah, but you're YOU. You're the only pony I've ever seen beat it in an hour," Scootaloo replied. It normally took 6 hours on average to beat. "Which makes it awesome to watch you play."

Soon enough, Grubber FINALLY managed to kill the final boss. "THERE! FINALLY!" the Hedgehog yelled in frustration. He then blinked. "...Wait, what?"

"THIS ROOM IS AN ILLUSION AND
IS A TRAP DEVISUT BY MORNING STAR.
GO AHEAD DAUNTLESSLY!
MAKE RAPID PROGRES!" the screen said...then put him right back on LEVEL ONE.

"WHAT?!" asked the hedgehog, eyes wide.

"Yeah, now you have to beat the whole game a second time on a higher difficulty to beat the game," said Button Mash, causing Grubber's eye to start twitching.

The foals quickly put in ear plugs as Grubber reacted naturally to this revelation. And filled up the rest of the swear jar.

Session 70.3 sonicandmario826 Alex Warlorn movie spoilers? (continued from Session 69.14 ?)

In Tartarus the Storm King remarked, "I don't see the problem, my writing team really did their research! they got it from this one Minotaur!"

"Iron Will hopes you find their information satisfactory for makin' yer movie about a big badass warrior who conquers Equestria... it is going to be a minotaur right?"

The Yetis looked at each other, then nodded.

"Good good! So... Can Iron Will have his wife and kid back... or is there where you ironically 'reunite' me with them?"

The Yeti in the business suit (still wearing a tribal mask though) shook his head. "Oh no no. The Storm King doesn't believe in wasting resources. It's cheaper to just kidnap them again some time than go to the trouble of finding another tour guide."

-

"'And all they have for the catering is Storm King Cola, Storm King brand health food, and my trailer is way too small?'" Twilight finished. She looked at Tempest, "Is there anything he DIDN'T brand somehow?"

Tempest decided NOT to mention some of the ones that made her blush. Instead she held up an action figure of herself in a miniature air skiff with lightning bolt action.

"... Did they ever actually..." Rainbow Dash asked carefully.

"I asked the same question. Sadly no. The skiffs kept exploding. I didn't even get a prototype version as my personal fighter."

Session 70.4 Ardashir (with two lines added by me)

The girls were trying to get into the mood for a night of gaming, so they decided to watch a few DVDs of horror movies Sunset had sent over to Twilight from her world to get in the mood for some monster-fighting.

Instead, they were getting confused.

"So, they have a holiday in the human world that's like Nightmare Night?" Starlight asked, tilting her head to the side. On the screen Twilight and Spike normally used for the few educational films the old tree library had, a gigantic hairy spider closed in on a herd of panicked horses in a corral. "But... instead of Nightmare Moon, it has giant spiders?"

"Come on," Tempest snorted in disgust at the horses on the screen. They whinnied in panic as the hideous monster lowered its fangs towards them. "Fight! Run away! Do something! Why aren't the unicorns casting spells? Do they want to get eaten?" Behind her, Grubber hid in panic like during the first film with the human version of Frankenstag's Monster.

"I've told you, Tempest," Twilight came back into the room, carrying both a bowl of treats and a message from Sunset that had arrived along with the films in her magic. "The horses of that world aren't intelligent and can't use magic. In fact, except for a few animals affected by leaking Equestrian magic, only the humans are sapient."

"Oh, yes. I remember." Tempest rolled her eyes dramatically. "No magic and only one sapient species. I bet next you'll tell me they don't have Princesses to raise the Sun and Moon."

"Actually? To go by what little I read there, they have a 'solar system' centered around their Sun, and their 'Equs' revolves around it." Not for the first time, Twilight found herself confronting over half a dozen amused and disbelieving equine faces. She decided to drop it. "And their holiday isn't about giant spiders, it's about scaring away evil spirits in anticipation of celebrating all things sacred the next day. They even do parades about it. Sunset says the Dazzlings helped last year." Twilight frowned when she said that. "And in a nearby part of the world, they happily celebrate their departed loved ones."

"What's the matter, darling?" Rarity asked, glad of an excuse to turn way from the gigantic arachnid onscreen. Beside her Fluttershy watched avidly, shaking her head in dismay.

"Um, someone should have told these people that you don't test a venom by tasting it," she said with a frown. Applejack and Rainbow Dash beside her looked vaguely disgusted as she added, "Especially spider venom, it's more like an acid than a poison. It would have dissolved that human stallion's hand..."

"I'm not sure," Twilight said with a frown as she sat down next to Rarity. "Sunset told me that the Dazzlings were working with the company that makes the 'World of Ponycraft' game, and they seemed to be leaving their bad old ways behind them. But now the company came out with this new game, a MOBA-something or other, a few days ago, and it's like everypony there is fighting over it."

"Oooh!" Pinkie spoke up from where she watched the action on the screen. "Does she need out help? Is it time for another crossover?"

"Crossover?" Tempest looked around in confusion at the party pony's words.

Everypony else there had just two words. "It's Pinkie."

"Not really," Twilight said. "Sunset just said everypony's feeling a little touchy right now, but she thinks it'll be okay." As she spoke the movie ended with the spider roasted by napalm before it could eat an entire town. The mares whickered amusement at how fake it all looked. When you have faced real giant monsters, cinematic ones were unimpressive. "Okay, girls, ready yet?"

"No," Tempest shook her head. She pointed at the DVD in disgust. "Those horses -- ugh! Even if they were just animals," she shuddered at the thought, "they should have known enough to run away from something the size of an airship! I need to see something else to take my mind off horses being eaten."

"Sure ya don't just wanna see another o' Twi's fancy movies?" Applejack asked with a grin. Tempest blushed, slightly.

Twilight rolled her eyes skywards but set one more DVD on. "Okay. Just one more. This one must be foreign," she looked at the cover which displayed horses and a restaurant. "International Cuisine -- 'Viande de Cheval*'?"

"Sounds like it's from Prance," Rarity said. "Might as well see what it's like. These films aren't really scary, you know."

"They sure aren't," Twilight agreed as she started the film.

Ten minutes later the DVD was trampled underhoof, Fluttershy was in a faint, Dash looked to be in shock, Applejack was trying to revive Rarity (who sprang away screaming to wash her mouth out), Tempest and Starlight had both turned green and raced off to find a bucket to puke into, Pinkie's eyes were swirling as she moaned something about 'that lousy fanfic again', and Twilight was busily writing a note to Sunset.

"...And once again, Sunset, before sending us these things, make sure you read the title!"

* -- 'Viande de Cheval', French for 'horse meat'.

Session 70.5 Kendell2

Finale Spoilers

Celestia sat across from her mentor, playing chess. She'd never been able to beat him when she was young... "Checkmate..."

Star Swirl gave a chuckle. "...Finally beat me, Celestia."

The Dayarch smiled, looking at his expression. "Thanks...I know that smile, it is the same one I had when Twilight beat me for the first time..."

"Yes...And in all honesty...I know now for a fact I WAS wrong in my first impressions of her..." said the archmage, looking across the throne room at the stained glass windows lining the walls. "I looked down on her...doubted her and her friends...but I think they're our betters..."

Celestia nodded understanding. "Indeed...You six could not save Stygian from himself, I could not save Luna from herself...But they always save each other from themselves...That is what I love about those six: they've succeeded were every previous set of Bearers, or proto Bearers, failed. They save each other and others from themselves. When one of them is at their worst, the rest are at their best..."

"...Don't sell yourself short, Celestia," Star Swirl admitted. "You were better than us. We gave up completely on Stygian, you never gave up on Luna from the sound of it. You exceeded me and she exceeded you...isn't that what every mentor should desire from their students?"

"You are correct...Thank you, Star Swirl..."

"You're welcome...I hope I get to live long enough to see how much better the generation of heroes they give rise to."

"If they continue the trend, they will be amazing."

Session 70.6 Ardashir

This wasn't to say that changes in attitudes didn't cause some friction... like the Mane Six having stop Rockhoof from carting Grubber outside and lopping his head off for his invading Equestria...

"Rockhoof! What th' hay are ya doing with Grubber?"

"Oh, nothing, friend Applejack! I have just learned he aided in an invasion of our homeland, so I will be chopping his head off."

"Ya cain't do that!"

"What?" He looked down at the carpeted floor. "Oh, how silly of me! Of course! I will take him outside and chop his head off there! Less mess that way."

Grubber screamed, "AHHHH! Get me outta here! Ponies are supposed ta be gentle and forgiving!"

Rockhoof said simply, "When you are dead, all is forgiven."

Applejack said calmly but firmly putting herself between Rockhoof and Grubber, "Rockhoof, we need to have a loooooong talk about how some stuff has changed in the last thousand years."

Session 70.7 Alex Warlorn

Whacking a stick against a chalk board showing a map of populations and cultures of Equestria, Princess Luna shouted in the Royal Canterlot voice,
"AND THAT! Is how we, with our combined legendary status and influence, as living legends returned from the dead, from myths to reality, shall restore the true and traditional values of Equestria from this depraved and decadent age our royal self has now had to endure for seven years!" A slightly demented grin spread on Princess Luna's face as she bent the stick into an upside down 'u' shape.

The heroes of Equestria's past looking at each other unsure.

"Lulu," Celly shouted happily and jovially, "What I told you about using our teacher and returned friends as kick-staring a social reverse-revolution?"

"Uhhh... Don't do it?"

"Good little sister."

Session 70.8 Ardashir

The day after the Jigoku movie, Grubber had been dragooned after a sleepless night (every time he closed his eyes, he found himself and Tempest being cooked in a giant pot with the Storm King providing the fuel, and devils that looked like three little fillies kept jabbing him with pitchforks) into playing 'hide-and-seek' with the CMC in preparation for Nightmare Night.

So it was that he walked down one lonely passage in the Friendship Palace, sniffing to see all the decorations hanging around him. He'd helped hang them in preparation for the big party on Nightmare Night.

"And I haveta keep an eye on those brats," he muttered. "This is getting tired. Maybe I'd be better off if I was in Tartarus with the boss..."

As he spoke he turned the corner and ran into -- "Frankenstag?"

"Yes." The hulking green unicorn glowered down at him. Beside him a pile of the purple bookhorse's books lay on the floor, where he'd been reading them. Grubber winced to realize he'd probably have to clean that up too. "I. Am. Frankenstag's Monster. Why. Are. You. Here?"

"Because the universe hates me, that's why I'm here," Grubber snapped. The last thing he needed right now was someone getting ready early for Nightmare Night. "Yeesh, who are you? Some goof coltfriend of Blondie's? You sound about as dumb as her." He waved one paw dismissively as Frankenstag's eyes began to harden. "Look, pal, I have some very important things ta do, so I don't have the time... to.. mess with some..."

Grubber's eyes widened as he took in more and more of the pony before him. Gigantic, bigger even than Blondie's big brother. Covered with stitching like he'd been sewed together. Bolts in his neck and what looked like a flip-top head.

And a savage scowl on his face.

"DO. NOT. INSULT. MY. FRIENDS!"

Grubber obeyed his best instinct, turned and ran for his life.

"AHHHH! TEMPEST! HELLLLP!"

About fifteen minutes later in the main hall, Twilight made her explanations to Tempest, a terrified Grubber, and the irate Monster.

"...So after he thawed out, we couldn't put him back in that book. We decided to keep him here." Twilight shrugged. "He loves books and the fillies and colts think he's 'cool', Sweetie and the CMC named him 'Stitches', so now he works in my library and earns some bits on the side tutoring the foals. He's really very well educated and intelligent..."

"Are you nuts!" Grubber yelled from where he hid behind Tempest. "He's Frankenstag! He's gonna go wild and strangle everypony in their sleep!"

"Why does everyone think that?" Frankenstag's Monster said with a huff. Forelegs folded across his chest, he said, "That was in the book. Or those silly movies. I'm not like that guy at all!"

"Hey, Twilight," Spike strolled in, puffing out green flame as he did. "I just got done sending the invites for Nightmare Night off to Shiny and Cadance, Celly and Luna. Anypony else?"

The Frankenstag Monster took one look at the flames and howled in panic. He snatched Spike and with a shriek hurled him at Grubber.

"AHHH! Fire! Bad!"

The next moment he stood shamefaced in front of an angry Twilight and Tempest.

"Stitches," Twilight said with an exasperated sigh. "What did we say about maiming Spike?"

"Uhh," the embarassed Monster said. "Fire, not bad?"

(OOC: We never did see what happened with the Frankenstag Monster at the end of the Shadowlock arc.)

Session 70.9 Mtangalion

Rarity Belle trotted up her front walk, repressing an unladylike yawn. "My word, saving the world certainly does take it out of a pony. I simply cannot wait to curl up with a good Dusklight novel and rest my weary hooves." She hesitated, right as she was about to unlock the door. "Although... I can't help but think I've forgotten something. I hope I didn't leave the water running." She opened the door and flipped the lights on with her magic. "Sweetie, are you..." She froze, gasping in shock.

Shelves and ponikins lay overturned, left and right. There were muddy pawprints all over the floor, and right in front of her, two big fluffy diamond wolf pups were growling and playing tug-of-war with a bolt of expensive fabric. "What do you think you're doing?!" she shrieked.

The pups froze, then bolted, scampering up the stairs towards Sweetie's bedroom and the portal back to Icehome. "Yip, yip yip yip!"

"Oh, no you don't!" declared Rarity, slamming Sweetie's door closed with her magic. She cornered them at the top of the stairs, exasperated. "Nowolf is leaving until you little ruffians clean up this mess!"

Little ears and tails drooped. "Sorry, Rarity-pony, we'll be good pups now," said one of them... Katya, if she remembered correctly.

Rarity sighed, forcing herself to remain calm. They were just children, after all. "Honestly, dears... Is this how wolves are taught to behave when they're guests in someone's home? Were you raised in a barn?!"

Elena lifted a paw. "Pups were raised in cave!" she said brightly.

Rarity twitched. "Of course. I'll get the mop..." She opened the bedroom room a crack. "Alisa! Get your mangy hide out here! I want this portal locked down properly. Don't make me come in there after you!" She hesitated, counting the pups. "Aren't there usually five of you? Where's Pavel? Where is my sister, for that matter?"

"Are you sure you want to do this?" asked Sweetie, for the third time.

Pavel nodded firmly. "Sviti played good tricks, keeping wolves guessing whether she's a wolf or a pony." He grinned sharply. "I want to have fun too!"

Sweetie giggled. "Well, remember everything I said, and don't smile like that. The costume doesn't hide your fangs!"

With that, Sweetie Belle trotted up the ramp and into the Cutie Mark Crusaders official clubhouse. Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon looked up from an O&O game as she entered. "Hey, girls! This is Cold Nose, a pony I made friends with while I was travelling with my sister up north."

Pavel followed her in, hooves clopping a bit unsteadily. The magic costume made him look like a young grey and black colt with a red star for a cutie mark. His ears pricked up, seeing the O&O miniatures, and he grinned and rushed right up to the table. "We'll be joining your game!" he demanded.

Sweetie cleared her throat pointedly and whispered in his ear.

‘Cold Nose' winced. "We would like to play *the* game. May we join?" Sweetie poked him again. "Puh... please?"

Apple Bloom shared puzzled glances with the others. "Heh, sure thing. We're not at the enemy castle yet."

Diamond Tiara gave him a "Seriously, who do you think you're fooling?" smirk, but instead of giving him away, she said, "Cold Nose, huh? Okay, let's get you a character sheet."

Session 70.10 Alex Warlorn Mtangalion Grogar-the-oneser

"Of course we had Nightmare Night in Own Town, everyone just had the same costume and gave out the same candy! That way no one could be jealous of or look down on any pony else!"

Pinkie Pie said, "But, the only sweets in the village were those baked bads... urp!"

"I never said any of the candy was good, I just said it was the same. That one foal who always got nothing but rocks for Nightmare Night was grateful, and that his ghost costume full of holes was finally no worse than anypony else's. And that other foal's parents were grateful we got him to get over that nonsense about the Great Squash."

Session 70.11 Mtangalion

(It's a little late for Nightmare Night, but I had to write something. :-) )

Ponyville's Nightmare Night was in full swing, and a small horde of youngsters was making its way through the main streets, candy buckets grasped in magic, mouths, hoofs, paws, or claws.

"You know," said Diamond Tiara, "you don't have to keep pretending that you're ponies in wolf costumes. We all know you're real diamond wolves."

Scootaloo grinned. "We've all seen Alisa and her tricks."

Apple Bloom grinned brightly as she knocked on Time Turner's door. "And to be perfectly honest, nopony talks like you folks do."

Time Turner opened his door, wearing a patchwork multicolored coat that only Discord could love. "Candy? You want... You want some candy!? Oh, very well. Care for some jelly babies?"

Pavel snarled, the big pup getting all grumpy for a moment. "Talking like ponies is too hard. Only Alisa's smart enough to do it!"

Diamond raised an eyebrow. "Not hard to talk different ways. Pups just needing practice!" Pavel, Elena, and even Sweetie Belle blinked, ooohing. "My dad's smart too! He says, talk like customers. Happy customers spend more bits!"

A small, scaly figure peeked out from behind the corner of a house. "I changed my mind! I'm not going out there. This is the last straw... no form could possibly be more humiliating than this!"

Spike stepped out into plain view, dragging someone behind him and rolling his eyes. "Come on, Garble. Don't be such a baby."

"But we are babies!" whined Garble. Twilight had caught the two drakes trying to get into a teen-rated movie and zapped *both* of them into baby dragons, the same as Spike's actual age. "How could this possibly get any worse?"

Lightning flashed and thunder boomed, making both baby dragons jump and cower, grabbing onto each other, before they realized what they doing and shoved each other away.

A dark fog rolled in and formed into Nightmare Moon, who reared up with an evil cackle. "Beware, beware colts and fillies, for I... what?"

All the diamond wolves were bowing down, both the pups and the adults that Prince Erik had sent to Ponyville on pup-watching duty. "Command us, goddess Luna!" said Iosef, tail wagging.

"We find that we're enjoying this holiday more and more," said Nightmare Moon, in Luna's bemused voice.

Session 70.12 Grogar-the-oneser

"A message from Garble Your Majesty," a dragon said.

"AGAIN!? I thought he stop complaining when we turn him back to normal, after he found that pegasus that bested dad's shield," Ember said annoyed.

"He says he's grateful about that madam, but now he wants a cure for a de-age spell," the messenger stated.

Ember slapped her forehead annoyed.

Session 70.13 Alex Warlorn, Mtangalion (please enjoy remembering the classic Session 36.17)

OOC: THE JOKE IS? I INTENDED FOR THE CON TO BE LONG OVER. AND THE SIREN'S SCHEME HAPPENS OVER DAYS AND WEEKS!

The Human World

"Closing ceremony? What do you mean, CrystalCon is over!? I can't have been wrong... can I?" Indeed, Crystal Con had introduced the new games, and the MOBA was up and running. After all, schools, parks, businesses, any location of importance had been made a hot spawn point.

Why did it seem the whole world was against her sometimes? Starlight Glimmer just wanted to start her own little social experiment community (IT WAS NOT A CULT!) with no social standing or status or prestige that people could lord over others. At least the she was started to get some donation with crowd funding on that. She already had this nice little spot in the desert picked out for it, far away from the corruptive influence of civilization and its sexist, racist, and consumerist, paths of least resistance.

People mistook 'GlimGlam99's' blog post about the MOBA for a creepy pasta. And those GlimGlam99 told online personally thought GlimGlam99 needed to 'calm down' and GlimGlam99 was lucky she didn't get in trouble for calling FBI.

At least Readinginthesun seemed to be interested in what 'GlimGlam99' was saying at least. She still remembered the many incredibly fun games they had with Cosmosis... including that insane one where all the end game scenarios happened at once in spite of it being against the game's rules, she blamed hackers and their selfish desires for attention that society convinced them had to have.

Session 70.14 Grogar the Oneser

"Look I admit, it sounds crazy and I admit without further proof it does sound crazy. But I am telling you there something sinister about this game.

"Hmm, do you mind if I show this to someone."

"Wait you believe me?" Starlight typed surprise.

"Well your story is farfetched but I have noticed some people acting way more aggressive, far more than usual, I just want to see their opinion first with your research note, do you mind."

"NOT AT ALL!" Starlight typed, happy to have some progress at last.

+++

"Huh I have a message from someone in the guild." Twilight said checking her phone. "Oh i know this guy, we had a lengthy discussion about time crystal..." Twilight stopped talking as she began reading his message. "Oh dear..."

"What?" Sunset asked.

"We have to find dash fast." Twilight said re-reading the message (Full of starlight note) to see if she read it correctly.

"Why whats wrong?"

"You know how you guys fought 3 siren, well we might be dealing more than 3 if we don't find her soon."

"WHAT!?" everyone shouted.

Session 70.15 Alex Warlorn

"We're gonna be in the top!"

"Just they wait!"

"They'll see!"

"Not if we get there first losers!"

The human CMC vs. Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon and Babs Seed as they battle for the top position in the Heroes of the Crystal MOBA.

-

"So they're all gonna turn into sirens?" Sonata asked, "With fish scales and everything?"

Adagio said, "... Yes and no... you know how we're humans in this world, regardless of what species we are in Equus' reality? It's kinda the same. They'll be sirens on the inside, but will technically still be humans here... but it won't stop them from 'Sirening Up' when they power up. There might be a few brief moment as the change sets in, but they'll still be able pass themselves off as humans as easily as we can."

"How are they going to feed without a jewel?" Aria asked. "I mean, we've been struggling not to starve to death after our necklaces were destroyed most of the time. What about them?"

"Once the transformation is complete, they'll manifest their own. Until then, they'll start developing their new feeding habits."

-

Rainbow Dash didn't know why, but she found herself ENJOYING watching the political debates for some reason. And her parents' endless praise actually felt delicious somehow.

Session 70.16 Grogar-the-oneser

"So your telling me you think this... guildie whose a friend of another guildie found out about all this stuff that makes you believe that the sirens are starting new plans that revolve around a way to make siren-like beings!?" Rarity gasped.

"If i'm reading this girls notes correctly, then yeah pretty much," Twilight said.

"I should've known, Adagio been FAR too quiet lately," Sunset stated as she read the notes.

"But how did she and the other two got their power back, their amulet are destroyed, how are they causing people to experiencing hatred, and more importantly, are we positive they're going to turn to sirens or is it a pony up thing." Applejack said.

"I don't know about the first one, but maybe they found something infected with leaked magic, you know how equestrian magic reacts to certain things in our world," Fluttershy suggested.

"Whatever the case we have to stop this now." Sunset asked.

Session 70.17 Alex Warlorn

"Whoa... " Vice President Chrysalis said looking at the numbers. "We're really raking it in with this new MOBA those girls came up with. No such thing as bad publicity is right."

-

"And that is our evil plan, and send-OW!" Adagio swatted Sonata's hand away from the keyboard and deleted the blog text while it was still offline.

"Sonata, what I told you about posting our plans online?"

"Don't do it?"

"Exactly."

Session 70.18 Mtangalion

Starlight Glimmer trudged into the World of Horsecraft-themed concession area. She didn't need a "hayburger" or an apple pie or an apple fritter or any other kind of apple snack, but she did need to sit and bang her head against a table.

Her head jerked up from the table when her phone started buzzing. "Yes! One of those agencies must have called me back!"

The incoming text read: (You're not what I expected.) The sender name was blank, and the icon was a grass burr or something, a circle with eight spines pointing outward.

"Huh?" Starlight typed, (Who are you? Are you with the FBI?)

Her phone buzzed again. (Why haven't you gone to your "friends" with this? You've tried just about everyone else. Kind of pathetic, don't you think?)

Starlight frowned, and started texting rapid-fire. (I don't have friends. Just people that I'm useful to, and people who are useful to me. We're all the same that way. Friends are only good for promising they'll always be there, then getting every question right on a gifted and talented evaluation and moving away and never seeing you again!)

Starlight hesitated, shaking herself out of her rant. "Why am I telling you all this?" She texted again: (Are you with the company who made this game? Have you been spying on us?!)

Another buzz. (Congratulations on understanding how the world really works. You should tell that boy over there exactly how you feel.)

Starlight glanced up and was mildly surprised to see Gilda again. She was at another table, having a rather animated argument with some guy Starlight didn't know over a double-order of fish sticks, and... wait, did Gilda have feathers for hair before?

Buzz. (Not them. Over to the right. Second table from the back.)

Starlight felt a chill down her spine. She turned in her seat, looking all around, but lots of folks were playing with their phones. It could have been anyone. "Okay... I'll play your game for now, but when I..." She froze.

There was a young man sitting alone at that table in the back, orange-skinned with fiery-red hair and a goatee. He wore a blue coat, and his big round glasses had white masking-tape on the bridge. As she watched, he scanned the crowd awkwardly, then sighed, slumping in his seat.

Starlight jumped to her feet and took a shaky step forward, and then another and another, until she was practically running when she startled the heck out of him by slapping her hands down on his table. "Sunburst, I am SO glad to see you! You're just the genius I need."

Session Alex Warlorn 70.19

Sunset said, "Now I call Princess Twilight!" She writes in the magic journal and-

'This is a pre-written message: sorry Sunset, can't come to the journal right now. The hippogriffs and Hippocampi have declared war. Apparently a hippogriff said 'pleeeease don't sing Shoo-Be-Doo', and this insult of their national anthem was taken as a grave insult. As Princess of Friendship. I'm away trying to defuse the situation. Sorry.'

And we would have back by now if SOMEPONY had stupidly called their treasured and beloved folk song 'creepy' and nearly triggered a second war! ... No no no Spike don't write that last part!

Session Alex Warlorn 70.20

"Waaaaaaiiiiiit," Starlight said, sounding confused. "She's already met her Sunburst? That fast? Without any parallels of what happened to me? I mean, I simply can't believe that last part! Meeting again Sunburst should have been the most important moment of her life up until that point, and yet she just rushes through it. It's like time is being rushed forward or something, that he was dropped into her life, and she barely reacts to it besides 'hi, happy to see you, let's go stop the bad guys?!' Some of those messages you got sent contradict each other!"

Pinkie Pie said, "Hey, it's not Earth and Equus were NATURALLY connected eons ago, and deviation between them on a grand scale would DAMAGE reality opposed to Equus and Mirror Equus where it was the opposite or something."

Both Twilight's Crystal Friendship Palace and the Crystal Gaming Palace in the Equestria Girls' home began to shake at the same time as white cracks appeared in the sky.

"Or maybe it will?" Pinkie Pie asked dimly.

Starlight Glimmer of Equus quickly put a pair of glasses on Princess Twilight... the shaking stopped, and the white cracks healed up.

"Now don't take those glasses off or it'll destroy the universe! TWO OF THEM!" Starlight said seriously.

"Can I wear contacts instead?" Twilight pleaded.

-

Sunset reading the newest note from Equestria blinked, 'Hey Sunset... HAVE OTHER ME GET CORRECTIVE EYE SURGERY! AGH! SORRY! LAST MESSAGE FOR A WHILE! SPIKE STOP WRITING AND HELP PUSH THIS THING BACK THROUGH THE GATEWAY! NO MAUD! THE VOID DOES NOT SPEAK THROUGH YOU! NO FLUTTERSHY! I AM NOT ROYALLY ENDORSING THAT DOCUMENT ABOUT DISCORD'S CHILDREN!'

Sunset leaned her head against the book. "I miss the days when Princess Twilight had to deal with her friends being nuts at the table top and me dealing with my friends being nuts in World of Horsecraft."

Session 70.21 Grogar-the-oneser and Alex Warlorn

"At last soon our plans will come to fruition, we will make the real somnambula proud." Adagio cackled

"Okay, I can't take it anymore." Aria stated, "Will you stop bringing up real somnambula/pony somnambula, or at least reveal the main reason you don't like the pony one so much!"

"I don't know what your-"

"PONY SOMNAMBULA IS THE REASON WERE STUCK ON THIS ROCK FOR EONS! We all decided to follow her and likes dupes follow her straight to the portal to the human world!"

"W-What." Adagio laughed unconvincingly. "That totally preposterous. we got stuck here cause we fell for Starswirl music contest and the mirror thing thus landing here in modern time. Not cause of an annoying pegasus and her friends tricking us." she finish with her eye twitching.

"Denile, it not just a name of a river. Its the name of the stupidest fake origin story that not even Sonata would buy." Aria muttered.

Adagio gave Aria that look. "You're kidding right? You actually factually think I can't have MORE THAN ONE reason for wishing I could have strangled someone in their sleep?"

"No, there are a million reason to hate someone," Aria explained, "I just feel if you're going to bring someone up so much you should state more than one reason."

"Oh yeah, cause saying that we were trick by a jerkass who dare sully the name of an evil witch and play a role in how we ended up here won't make us sound crazy," Adagio stated "Furthermore she dead, so I don't see the point of explaining that part of the story."

(Meanwhile in Equestria)

"ACHOO!" Somnambula sneezed during Luna class of some of the new wonders of the modern day.

Session Alex Warlorn 70.22

"Can I take these glasses off now?" Princess Twilight asked irritated.

"Not until we're certain that discrepancies in the dimensional fabric aren't going to cause everything to be eaten by dimensional moths," Pinkie Pie said sagely.

Twilight groaned. "So what's next? Reality being in danger by finding out CMC stands for something else in the human world? Which by sheer LOGIC it has to since they don't have cutie marks there?"

"Well, as long as they're club centers around self-actualization and discovering your purpose in life, it shouldn't matter what 'CMC' stands for. Let's just use our little computer hooked up to the networks in the human world, and look up their website-"

"The human CMC have a website... I'm amazed it doesn't cause computer to explode and isn't stuffed with more malware than... than... UGH! I'm sure human me would have a perfect analogy!"

"Well let's see here... Canterlot-Movie-Club? But... but... but that has NOTHING TO DO with self discovery, figuring out what you want to do with your life, or developing a sense of self, or even deciding on a career path!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

"Pinkie Pie it's not the end of the world!"

-

"SHOO! SHOO!" With a giant fly folding fan, and a big can of bug spray, Discord battered away a horde of the most boring and unextraordinary looking white moths in existence, for not for their gigantic size... "Dearest Fluttershy! The Stare would be most appreciated!"

"What are they Discord?"

"Just Dimensional Moths, they're normally attracted to discrepancies in the dimensional fabric."

"You're not doing this as an excuse so you don't have to play Monopoly with your family is it?"

"Would I do something like that?"

"Yes."

"Well it isn't! Would I ever make moths this BORING looking?"

"I supposed you have a point. Oh dear!" Fluttershy moved to help as the moths tried to carry away the Smooze.

-

"Ha!" Aria sneered. "Too bad Adagio! With that victory I have enough loot to win! No way you're getting back to the stairs before me!"

Adagio smirked, "You forget... I'm playing an elf, which means I can go through the secret doors... which means... "

Adagio moved her piece to the 'starting chamber' on the dungeon board. "I win."

Aria growled.

Sonata said, "Isn't it great even with our scheme to turn humans into more of our kind, we've still found time to play some good old fun board games?"

Personally, Adagio always felt Sirens were underpowered in the Ogres and Oubliettes game here in the human world.

http://dnd.wizards.com/products/tabletop-games/board-card-games/dungeon

Session All-Overboard 70.23

"Where is Princess Ember in all this?" Luna looked up from her Crystal and Rainbows scorecard.

"She said she needed to check on Spike before joining us. You know the whole pride thing on using your flames to burn things alive." Celestia whispered to Luna while also trying to peek at Luna's scorecard. Luna snarled slightly and hid her card better.

"Will she be joining us?" Luna growled out as she gave more crystal berries over to Thunderhooves garnering a deal between them.

"Eventually." Celestia huffed as she was struck with less friendship points for spying.

Session Ardashir 70.24

While the Mane Six dealt with delicate diplomatic situations, Garble and Spike were left in the Friendship Palace to keep an eye on the still-on-parole Tempest and Grubber. With little for them to do, Spike decided some games and a few chores would keep everyone out of trouble until Twilight came back.

It didn't work.

"You win. Again." Garble sniffed and folded his arms. A smug Tempest reared in mock victory over the Monopony board. "Ah, whoever made this game is biased."

"Why?" Tempest smiled. She began setting the pieces back into the box. "Because you keep losing?"

"Psst, yeah," Garble puffed out some fire. "Any game that doesn't allow for a 'burn everything down, dragons win automatically' finish has problems." He smirked. "But it was made by some puny pathetic pony, so what can ya expect? They always rig things so they win." When Tempest ignored him, he added in a poisonously polite tone, "Even one without a working horn."

Tempest froze. Sparks slowly worked along her damaged horn as she turned and gave Garble one of her best intimidating glares.

"Stop. Right. There." Tempest didn't raise her voice, but the chill in it would have sent most of her troops running for cover. "Kid, you don't want to push your luck."

"Or what?" Garble smirked and began piling up some gems and other nonessentials in the middle of the floor. "Ya gonna try beating me up? Yeah, I heard how you handled that crazy featherduster Gilda in the invasion." He stomped over to sneer into Tempest's eyes. "I ain't impressed. We dragons would have kicked the Storm King's hairy flank if he tried anything with us. And we wouldn't have needed some weirdo hippogriffs or birds and cats to do it, either."

"We, I can see you're as full of yourself as Twilight warned," Tempest watched Garble strut up on top of the piled wealth, mostly kept around to cover emergency palace repairs. "What's this? A nest?"

"This? This is a dragon game. It's called," Garble stomped, digging his claws into the gems and gold before roaring at the top of his lungs, "KING OF THE HOARD! You'd never beat me at this, half-horn!"

Tempest just looked up at Garble and smiled very sweetly.

A few moments later Spike came racing into the room, upon hearing the sound of Garble's howls and Tempest's gleeful voice. He froze at what he saw.

Garble lay on his belly atop a pile of treasure, while Tempest stood on his back. Her horn still sparked, but it looked like she'd beaten Garble with sheer skill and strength. He looked dazed and his tail had a few extra kinks in it. Tempest dropped it, showing Spike how he'd gotten them.

"What exactly are you going to be calling me from now on, lizard?" Tempest innocently asked the half-conscious Garble.

"Uhh...." He groaned, his eyes rolling in his sockets. "Miss Half-Horn?"

"That'll do," Head held high and neck arched, Tempest lightly stepped down the pile, putting her hoof on Garble's snout as she did.

Spike just shook his head.

"I'm not even gonna ask. But yeesh do we need Twilight back soon."

Session Mtangalion 70.25

On the next school day after CrystalCon, several friends found themselves gathering near the Wondercolts statue in front of Canterlot High, nearly half an hour before the first bell of the day.

"So, that was some weekend, huh?" said Pinkie Pie. "What a party!" But either the slight drizzle of rain was deflating her bouncy curls, or she wasn't quite feeling it.

Sunset glanced at Twilight, frowning thoughtfully. "I can't help but notice we're missing someone."

"So, um..." Fluttershy paused, gathering her courage. "Has anyone heard from Rainbow Dash?"

"Can't say Ah have," said Applejack, shaking her head.

Rarity shrugged. "Not a peep."

"Hmph, figures," said an unexpected visitor, stepping around the corner of the statue to join them, wearing a leather jacket with a hood. "If she's even been avoiding me..."

"Gilda!" exclaimed Pinkie. "Hey, wait a minute! Shouldn't you be at Griffonstone High?"

Gilda smirked. "Um, no? Because I graduated already, genius." She coughed. "Look, you know I take care of my own problems, right? I don't go running for help for every little thing, but... I need help. Dash was supposed to meet me at the skate park yesterday, and she totally blew me off. Said she can't afford to ‘fall behind' in that MOBA game."

"That... really doesn't sound like her at all," said AJ.

Gilda rolled her eyes. "Thank you, Miss Obvious."

AJ smirked. "And on that note..." She pointed at Gilda. "Shouldn't you be at your job at CrystalSoft? Or did ya get the day off to come talk to us, when ya could have just sent a text?"

Gilda covered her mouth and let off an exaggerated fake cough. "Yeah, I might have called in, told them I've got that bird flu that's been going around." Then she lowered her hood, revealing that she had a headful of feathers instead of hair.

"Oh my gosh," gasped Fluttershy, reaching towards her.

"Don't pull on them!" said Gilda quickly, sending menacing glares left and right. "Yes, they're attached. I already found that out the hard way."

Fluttershy brushed a feather with her fingertips instead. "I've never seen eagle feathers this color before."

Sunset sighed. "That's because they're griffon feathers. When did this happen?"

Gilda threw her hands up. "Near the end of the con, when we were messing around with that stupid game... and they're not going away! Can you fix this?"

Twilight reached into her jacket and pulled out her geode, closing her fist around it. "You're just bursting with Equestrian magic, even more than the rest of us. I can feel it from here." She chewed her lip. "I suppose I could build another magic-draining device..."

"NO!" shouted Gilda... and everyone else all at once.

Rarity grinned cattily. "So, Gilda... Despite the predicament you're in, you were still concerned first and foremost about helping Rainbow Dash? Aren't you the loyal one?"

"Sh- shut up!" said Gilda, getting flustered. "I just want Dash to act like Dash again, not some no-life gaming nerd."

A large commotion broke out just then, distracting them all. It looked like Soarin' and Fleetfoot were arguing at the top of their lungs, with the whole Wondercolts soccer team lined up in two camps behind them.

Applejack glared at the brawling soccer players, adjusting the tilt of her hat. "Ah hate to tell ya this, sugarcube, but Rainbow might be turning into something a whole lot worse than that. Let's split up and search for her."

Session Kendell2 70.26

"...No..." said Discord, floating in the throne room of the castle.

"Please?" asked Fluttershy, giving him puppy dog eyes.

"...Ugh, I guess, but WHY?" asked the Draconequus.

"Because we ran into a very stressful and dramatic situation with the Storm King and want to unwind," Rarity replied.

"...Fine, I can see why..." said Discord, snapping his fingers and suddenly turning the room into a rather familiar version of Ponyville, each of the Mane Six turning into their Crystals and Rainbows selves.

Rarity actually gave a giggle, letting her inner child out. "Race to Triple Treat's place for ice cream!" she called, the six running off to do that, just letting themselves relax.

Discord walked over to a 'wall' and leaned next to Tempest Shadow.

The group watched the Mane Six having fun in the innocent, fun little game. Racing, playing games, and so on.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

Seconds later, Fizzy Pop and a Pegasus named Willy Nilly ran in to join the games.

Session Mtangalion 70.27

Garble had just taken a shower in the same bathroom that Spike often used, the one where the magically-heated water could go up to near-boiling temperatures. "Yes!" the teenage drake hissed, flexing in front of the mirror. "Look out, all you losers and dorks and puny pansy ponies. Garble is back!"

Then Garble noticed Spike reflected in the mirror too, lounging with a towel over his shoulder and tapping one foot. "What are you looking at, shorty? Jealous?"

Spike shrugged. "Eh, I can wait."

Garble grinned as he finished buffing his scales with his own towel. "You might be waiting years before you're as big and tough as me." He flapped his wings lazily, just to rub that in too. "Decades, even!"

Spike smirked. "I might be waiting years to get some hot water again, after how long you were in the shower."

"If you'd stayed older," Garble teased, "I bet that Rarity mare would be all over you..."

Spike winced, hard. "Pfft, it's no big deal! I can..." He sighed and banged his head on the wall. "You're right, waiting sucks."

Garble laughed uproariously, only to choke when a bright flash filled the crystal hallway with a green vapor which coalesced into a hulking green dragon. "What's all the commotion, Sparky?" asked Discord. "Is all this marvellous mirth just for the two of you, or can anydragon join in?"

Garble's face twitched. "Uh... real dragons don't say ‘anydragon.'"

Discord glowed and shrank down, transforming back into his usual form. "Is that true? I suppose I'll have to ask Spike if I want to know for sure!" He grinned darkly, kneading his claws. "I just remembered that I forgot to remember to change everyone back after Guys Night, so it's back to Garbie the griffon hatchling for you."

Garble yelped and backed into a wall, gouging it with his claws as if he might dig an escape tunnel. "No! You can't..." Suddenly, he gasped at something behind Discord, pointing. "Hey, what's that?!"

"Hmm?" Discord slowly turned to look over his shoulder like a big dope, but when Garble breathed an inferno at him, it somehow became a tiny puff of flame which lit the long-stemmed pipe that Discord held out. He blew a few smoke rings. "Cute. Like you're about to be..."

"Hold it," said Spike stepping between them. "I think he's had enough."

Discord hovered back, blinking. "He has?"

"I have?" echoed Garble.

Spike nodded. "Yeah, you know... Sometimes, you have to take a step back and give a new friend a chance! Even if sometimes they can be rude." A bowstring twanged, and a suction-cup arrow hit Discord's chest and stuck there. "And obnoxious." Two more arrows joined the first. "And make a mess of everything."

"Yes, yes, I get your point," said Discord, popping two dozen arrows loose and lobbing them over his shoulder. "Well, if you should happen to change your mind, I already made a whole list of other fun things to turn Sparky into. Ta ta!" He vanished in a flash.

Garble snorted. "I suppose now I'm supposed to say ‘Oh, Spikey-wikey, you're my very best friend!'" He batted his eyelashes and pirouetted on one foot, hands clasped. "‘Let's go on friendship adventures together, and get magic friendship bracelets that shoot magic rainbow friendship beams!'"

Spike smirked. "Or, you could just say ‘Thanks.'"

Garble blinked. "Thanks?"

"You're welcome!" Spike tossed his towel at a rack and strolled away down the hall. "I'll get a shower later. Let's go lava surfing in the new enchanted comic I wrote with Twilight." He glanced back at Garble before disappearing around a corner. "Heh, maybe I'll even go easy on you, Sparky."

"What..." Garble shook a clawed fist and flew after him. "Don't call me that! Ugh, don't you dare give me some stupid nickname!"

Session Kendell2 70.28

"...So...you sometimes allow people to make games based off you..." said Grubber, looking at the game box.

"Yeah...and sometimes people do it against our will, we're public figures after all..." said Twilight. "But this time we were consulted and added our say into it."

"...I'm surprised they asked me..." Fizzlepop admitted.

"...Why didn't they ask me?!" asked Grubber, grumbling.

The game in question...was a cart racing game.

"...I still find it weird they wanted to make a video game were we're racing with our archenemies..." said Twilight, rubbing her head.

"...At least I finally got a use for that flying thunder car design the Storm King came up and some of those other toy designs he copyrighted," Fizzlepop replied.

"At least we got to have input on our vehicles..." Twilight replied and got her 'adorkable look'. "My cart has perfectly replicated constellations!"

Session Ardashir 70.29

Rarity looked at the game. "Oh, dear! Did they have to use the go-cart I tried to, ahem, help my little sister with?" She checked it out more closely. "Hmm, given that half of these villains are dead and the rest are on the run, how do they pay them? If they even do?"

"I don't know," Twilight shrugged. "Does it matter? Chrysalis wouldn't dare send any more legal threats to the designers any more."

Many miles away in Manehattan.

"Hey, Mom, look!"

A mare out shopping froze as her pudgy colt showed a box of the very same game to her. He gave her a look intended to be pleading but that came off as just plain greedy instead. "Can I have --"

"NO!" The mare flinched, smiled nervously at the frowning ponies all around her, and left with her son. She hissed as they left, "Not now, Vordul!"

Vordul pouted. It wasn't any fun hiding out here in Manehattan. Then he brightened as he remembered something else.

"Well, can we eat the cake you were baking to celebrate the Storm King's victory, then? The rest of it, anyway?"

"What?!?" Ex-Queen Chrysalis rounded on her child. "I told you I didn't want to see you eat that!"

"I know," Vordul said. "I just waited until you were out. You couldn't possibly see me eat some of it then!"

Session Ardashir 70.30

"So," Starlight said, watching as Dash and Pinkie played through a new game. "This is legal?"

On the screen, two mares, a blue-coated one named Teacup and one that looked like her called Mugmare, were sending spellbolts from their horns at a goofy-looking Queen Chrysalis.

"Hah!" Dash called as the Chrysalis lookalike ended up zapped with a giant can of bug spray, her eyes X'd out. "Take that, Cheeselegs! I dunno why some ponies are down on 'Teacup and Mugmare'. This game's great!"

"For one thing," Starlight scowled as she spoke, "those two characters look a LOT like Trixie and me. Except they made her a grandstanding, foolish egotist who ignores everything Mugmare tells her to make a bet with Tirek in a casino run by some two-headed pony named 'Skim and Skam'? Didn't Applejack have some trouble with them?"

"Yeah," Pinkie Pie said, grinning. "But they own a casino in Los Pegasus now, and they invested money into this game. If they can laugh at themselves, they can't be all bad."

"Themselves and everypony else!" Starlight pointed at the screen. Two new bosses, resembling Nightmare Moon and Daybreaker, were fighting the heroines. "They didn't make copies of Twilight and her friends, did they?"

"Did somepony mention me?" Applejack trotted into the room. "Dash tole me she wanted ta show me this fancy new game she an' Pinkie were playing." Her eyes went wide as she saw the screen. The game had reached the point where Teacup and Mugmare were getting ready to fight Skim and Skam. They sang their song: "He's Skim, I'm Skam! We're the Pony Devil's right-hoof man! Time ta roll the dice (roll the dice!) and see just how they land!"

"Hah!" Applejack laughed. "Okay, now that's funny. Anypony that has some fun with those two swindlers..."

Her eyes went wide again before she snorted in rage. The first boss came up -- a gap-toothed, sway-backed, doltish-looking palomino Earth pony mare. She wore a wreath of flowers that read LAST PLACE.

"Ah'm Horse-Race Harriet, gals!" She said in an accent so atrocious and affectated the ponies thought they felt the Friendship Palace shudder. "You won't be th' first suckers Ah've taken for a ride!"

The next moment Starlight and Pinkie had wrestled the furious Applejack to the floor.

"Lemme go!" Applejack snorted. "Ah'll gallop all th' way ta Los Pegasus just ta break their low-down necks!"

"Applejack, they did that to all of us!" Starlight said, trying to calm her. "And they're giving some of the profits to charity!... Probably just for a tax write-off, but still!"

"They didn't do it ta ALL of us," Dash said with a laugh. She was still playing the game and quickly defeated Horse-Race Harriet. "I mean, they didn't do anything with me, right?"

Applejack suddenly grinned and pointed at the screen. Dash looked and froze. On it in a background shot a rainbow-maned blue-coated mare was dressed as a showpony. She seemed to look Dash right in the eye, wink, and outrageously wiggled her rump at the viewer.

A moment later and Applejack was helping to hold a furious Dash down.

Session Ardashir 70.31

"OW! OW! OW!" Garble complained and tried to dig his clawed feet in as he was dragged down into what some ponies called the 'Friendship Dungeon'. "Yeesh! Come on, they invaded your country and were gonna hunt me down and make a suitcase outta me! What's the problem?" He smirked. "Besides, she was asking questions about that Ogres and Oubliettes game, and I told her she could find out about it down here."

"Garble," Twilight said, her voice cold. Her horn glowed as she dragged him along. "I know you had -- a disagreement, with Tempest, after she beat you up..."

"She cheated!" Garble tried to say more, but his jaws were clamped shut.

"Enough!" Twilight snapped. Garble frantically tried to escape as she dragged him to a heavy fortified iron door. "Even you should have known better than to send them here!"

The sounds of battle came from within. Enraged whinnies from Tempest, panicked shrieks from Grubber, and a hideous voice that cackled with mad glee.

"Yes! Yes! My unholy pets! Consume their minds and wear their bodies like suits! Then I shall escape this miserable pit and wreak my unholy vengeance --"

Twilight flung the door open.

Inside, Tempest, her eyes blazing and sparks flying from her horn, snorted and stomped her hooves in fury at the half-dozen cat-size monsters all around her and the cowering Grubber. They looked like brains with four clawed legs, crouched as though ready to pounce on the unicorn and hedgehog. Behind them hovered a pony skull, with gemstones set in its empty eyesockets and replacing several of its teeth.

It wheeled on Twilight with a cold fury lighting its eyes.

"Wretched interloper! How dare you --"

Twilight simply gave it a dirty look. It immediately quieted down. The brain-monsters all hurried off to a cage in the corner, the last to enter slamming the door shut behind them. The skull began to explain. "Oh, um, Mistress Twilight. We were, ah, just playing a game, you see, and..." She just pointed to a table beside the cage. The skull sheepishly floated back to it and settled down.

Tempest turned and saw Garble. "YOU! You backstabbing lizard! You sent me and Grubber down here to be eaten by those, those, WHATEVER THEY ARES!" She began to stomp forward. Garble somehow crouched down even more behind Twilight as Tempest said, "'It'll teach you about Ogres and Oubliettes', he said. 'It'll be like nothing you ever saw before, so take your runty friend', he said." Her voice rose to a shriek. "You forgot to say, 'IT'LL BE THE LAST THING YOU EVER SEE!'"

"Tempest!" Twilight got between mare and dragon. "Don't! I'm sorry you weren't warned before about Poncererak and the Intellect Devourers."

"Where did you even get those freaky things?" Grubber said, backing away in horror from the cage and table.

"Oh, Discord summoned them from some alternate universe as a joke for game night a couple of years ago." Twilight said with a shrug.

"Ri-iiiight," Tempest said. "Somehow that news doesn't startle me any more." She looked past Twilight at Garble. Her eyes burned as more sparks flew from her horn, snapping and cracking. "But as for you, lizard...."

She stopped as Twilight held up one hoof. "Tempest, I know how you feel, believe me -- but I have a better idea."

Garble slumped in relief, only to shudder in horror as the purple alicorn gave him the sweetest, most evil smile he'd ever seen.

***

"This sucks!" Garble spluttered, spitting cold water as he got back on his chair. "All this because of one little prank --" Another hurled ball struck the target, dumping him back into the water. All around, ponies at the annual 'Lets Get Ready For Hearth's Warming Party' cheered. Twilight, currently operating the ducking game, raked in another bagful of bits as Tempest got ready to hurl more of the balls.

"Didn't I say this would be more fun?" Twilight said to Tempest. Tempest just smiled back at her before she tossed three balls into the air, jumped up, and with a kick sent all three into the target, sending Garble back into the frigid water of the tank.

Session Mtangalion 70.32

Two griffons went screeching by overhead, swooping so fast and low that Twilight had to magically grab at all their picnic supplies to keep them from blowing away.

"Hah, I win again!" shouted Gerold, his voice carrying clear across the park.

"Only by like half a second, jerk!" retorted Gilda.

"That still counts, slowpoke!" Gerold bristled up, getting right in her face.

Gilda didn't back down for an instant. "There was a microburst in my way, featherhead! I totally should have won!"

"What microburst, you harpy? You were probably just slowing down to oogle my wingspan."

"What?! It's not as if your big-flank wings are super hot or anything."

"It's not as if you're much to look at either, sweet cheeks."

"What did you call me?!"

Applejack sat grinding her teeth. "If Ah didn't know that was all a pack of lies, Ah'd think they hated each other's guts. Why can't they say what they mean!?"

Rarity smiled, magically fanning herself with her hat. "Applejack, darling, that's just not how these things are done. You should try reading a romance novel, or perhaps a manega or two."

Fluttershy looked up from the Dusklight fan manega she was drawing. It'd taken a great deal of courage for her to bring it to the park, where anypony might see it. "Well, you do have to admit... even by those standards, griffon romance does seem a little intense."

A near miss overturned a lemonade stand, leaving the owner shouting and shaking a hoof at the squabbling griffons and their midair brawl.

Tempest Shadow scoffed, putting extra hot sauce on her sandwich as Pinkie Pie passed the food around. "I'm starting to see why griffons wrecked their own city before the Storm King even got there."

Twilight Sparkle pulled an old manuscript out of a saddlebag and opened it carefully. "Fortunately for Ponyville, I've found something that just might help."

Pinkie leaned close. "Ooh, is that a griffon book?" She grinned slyly, seeming far away for a moment. "I knew I should have brought some of Grover's journals home with me."

Applejack squinted at the writing on the dusty old pages. "No offense to chickens, but that literally looks like chicken-scratching." She grinned. "Heck, that looks worse than the time Rainbow showed me her Daring Do fanfic."

"Hey!" protested Rainbow, who was scribbling with pencil on paper in between bites of her sandwich. "I've gotten better since then!"

"Really?" asked Twilight, suddenly interested. "Writing what?"

Rainbow had a moment of panic, and quickly stuffed their latest Amazing Hackwork comic back in Pinkie's hair. "Uh, nothing! Nevermind!"

Twilight rolled her eyes and turned the pages of her book back to the front. "Ahem... This is a book about how griffons date and stuff, as if you could possibly understand it, cause you're obviously not a griffon, you stupid dweeb, or you'd just know and you wouldn't need this book."

Rarity blinked. "I beg your pardon?"

"Huh? Oh!" Twilight blushed. "Sorry, that's the title of the book. Anyway, I've been reading here about the valuable role played by friends of the courting griffons, and how they can facilitate matters and smooth things along." She trotted over to Gilda and Gerold, who were now claw-wrestling like they had serious money on the line. "Here goes... HEY! Shut up and make out already!"

Gilda glanced briefly at Twilight, smirking. "Too soon, Sparkle."

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 70.0 ardashir MtangaLion Alex Warlorn (continued from Session 69.3 )
Session 70.1 ardashir MtangaLion Alex Warlorn
Session 70.2 Kendll2 movie spoilers?
Session 70.3 sonicandmario826 Alex Warlorn movie spoilers?
Session 70.4 Ardashir (with two lines added by me)
Session 70.5 Kendell2 season 7 finale spoilers
Session 70.6 Ardashir
Session 70.7 Alex Warlorn
Session 70.8 Ardashir
Session 70.9 Mtangalion
Session 70.10 Alex Warlorn Mtangalion Grogar-the-oneser
Session 70.11 Mtangalion
Session 70.12 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 70.13 Alex Warlorn, Mtangalion (please enjoy remembering the classic Session 36.17)

Session 70.14 Grogar the Oneser

Session 70.15 Alex Warlorn

Session 70.16 Grogar-the-oneser

Session 70.17 Alex Warlorn

Session 70.18 Mtangalion

Session Alex Warlorn 70.19

Session Alex Warlorn 70.20

Session 70.21 Grogar-the-oneser and Alex Warlorn
Session Alex Warlorn 70.22
Session All-Overboard 70.23
Session Ardashir 70.24
Session Mtangalion 70.25
Session Kendell2 70.26
Session Mtangalion 70.27
Session Kendell2 70.28
Session Ardashir 70.29
Session Ardashir 70.30
Session Ardashir 70.31
Session Mtangalion 70.32

*SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE!*

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Picture by punzil504, used with permission.

https://punzil504.deviantart.com/art/Spoony-Bard-694836265

Session 71 (movie spoilers? You're still worried about this?)

Session 71.0 Ardashir

"Dash! Ah finally found yah!" Applejack hurried up behind her friend where she stood behind Canterlot High. When Dash took no notice of her, Applejack hurried up beside her. Dash was watching something, and smirking coldly as she did. Applejack frowned. "Hey! What's the matter? Ya getting hard o' hearing --"

She froze as she saw what Dash was watching.

Two dogs, one of them Winona and the other Gilda's dog Ember, were about to close in a snarling, biting fury. They bristled and snarled, circling each other. Winona began backing away in an obvious escape attempt.

"Oh no ya don't!" Dash reached down to snatch Winona up. Applejack shuddered to see the glazed look in her eyes, the way they almost seemed lit from within. She got ready to hurl her at the much larger Ember. "Get back in there and fight, ya cowardly mutt!"

"DASH!" Applejack gave her friend a hard shove. Dash tumbled to the dirt. As she did, Ember ran away. AJ picked up Winona. As the dog whimpered and licked at her, she quickly checked it for injuries. Finding none, she sighed in relief. She turned on her friend in a fury. "Dash, 'less ya want me ta kick yer butt right now, yer gonna explain what the hay ya were thinkin'!"

"Oh, come on, AJ." Dash got up, a nasty smirk on her face. "It was just for fun."

"Mah dog was gonna get torn apart!" Applejack shook her fist under Dash's nose. Dash looked, not bored or frightened, but like she was eating a fine meal. "Have ya lost yer mind?" When Dash just sneered, Applejack fought to keep her self control. "Look, Sunset and the rest o' the gals want ta talk ta you. We're worried about how you been acting lately, and --"

"I'll go with ya after a game of scissors-paper-rock," Dash said unexpectedly. AJ blinked in confusion as Dash added, "Hey, I feel fine, cornpone. If you and those other losers can't handle my liking my new online friends I got through the game..."

"Ya don't HAVE any new friends! Ya fight with EVERYONE in that crummy game! Mah little sis does, Trixie does, even Scootaloo does! Yer all acting like the Sirens got a hold of ya!"

"Yeah, well, what if we are?" Dash said, her voice suddenly surly. "The Sirens weren't all wrong. Competition is what life is all about, the game just encourages it -- anyway!" She smiled again. "Scissors, paper, rock? You win, I go with you. I win," she jerked her thumb at the school, "you get lost!"

Applejack scowled, but she held one hand behind her back. Dash did the same.

On the count of three, they yanked their hands back out and -- "I win!"

***

"When's AJ gonna be back with Dash?" Pinkie Pie asked her friends. She carved and shared out a peanut butter and marshmallow pie she'd made. "She seems to be taking a reallllly loooong time to find her."

"I'm getting worried," Sunset looked at the door for perhaps the tenth time in as any minutes. Nearby Fluttershy was showing Rarity some errors in her calculus homework. Twilight watched in awed respect. Sunset said, "Dash has been acting really competitive and short-tempered lately, even for her."

Sunset and her friends looked at the door as it opened. As they saw their friend enter, Sunset smiled in relief. "AJ? Good to see you, and -- where's Dash?"

Fluttershy gasped. "Oh dear, how did you get that black eye??"

Applejack squinted around at them, one eye swollen shut. "Ah can honestly say the Sirens got Dash. 'Cause she didn't never punch someone an' run away over losin' a game before!"

Session 71.1 Mtangalion, with edits by Alex Warlorn (Continue from Session 70.11)

Fido, Spot, and Rover started bowing, kissing Luna's hooves, and bringing her gems too.

Luna thought, 'Hmm! I must have done something back in the Diamondium Old Republic days that really made an impression. I will consult my diary!'

Luna conjured up her diary, and began to silently read, 'Dear Diary: Celly was a giant poo-head again today, like usual. She thinks her sphinxes are so much cooler than the cute puppies I found.'

Luna thought idly, '... Perhaps the past should remain in the past.'

Session 71.2 Mtangalion, Alex Warlorn, Ardashir

"WHAT DOES YE MEAN WE CAN'T RAZE LOS PEGASUS TO THE GROUND!?" Luna exclaimed in fully battle armor, her thestral nightmare behind her in columns.

"I'm saying Lulu that gambling laws a more lax now."

"CELLY THOU BEEN SLOWLY BRAINWASHED OVER THE EONS! HAVE YE FORGOTTEN THE EVILS IT'S HAS DONE TO EQUESTRIA?! DESTROYING THAT CITY CAN ONLY BRING GOOD TO EQUESTRIA!"

"Luna! Where do we stop? Los Pegasus? The national lottery? Old mares playing bingo? And they DO pay heavy taxes that help support the nation. I don't like gambling, but I'd rather tolerate minor vices when it permits me to police them."

"SISTER! Would ye say that if it was Somnambula The Witch running an amusement park?! These places are exactly the same! FEEDING ON PONIES' WEAKNESS! They are explicitly designed to prey on triggers in the pony psyche so they'll gamble more and make uninformed decisions and encourage the destructive behavior! And the house always wins in the end! How can ye say with a straight face they are any different from Somnambula The Witch?"

"If I want to respect the right of my little ponies to freely make good decisions, I have to allow for the fact that some, many, will make bad ones. As I said, better a policed vice that can be observed than driving it underground where nopony can keep an eye on it."

"We might as well legalize slavery in Equestria with that logic!"

"You're still upset about the time you lost that bet, and I won my slice of cake and yours too, aren't you?"

"CELLY! NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE IS ABOUT CAKE! JUST FOR THAT! You're getting the 'Chubby Celly' nightmare tonight!"

"Oh, will I, now? Perhaps forewarned, I'll enjoy eating everything in sight for once." Celestia had an imagine spot of a kaiju-sized tubby white Alicorn eating entire donut shops in two bites. "Heh. Ehehehe..."

Session 71.3 Ardashir

"Snacks, drinks, spare dice..." Twilight checked them off her list as she got everything ready for the night's game of Ogres & Oubliettes. Her hooves clopped lightly over the floor as she went to the table. She looked up and saw Starlight bringing the books in. "Looks like we've got everything ready for the game."

"Everything except a gamemaster," Starlight said as she set the books down with her magic. "I haven't seen Spike all day." She frowned. "Or Garble, or Grubber, come to think of it. The last I saw them, all three were looking at a map of Los Pegasus. They were frowning over this, too." She frowned as she held up a comic that read 'Movie Adaptation: Invasion Equestria'. It bore a certain resemblance to the ones made by the Storm King, except for six certain ponies that looked like a gang of idiots. "It's almost as bad as that game they did with 'Teacup and Mugmare' or --" She broke off as Tempest entered the room.

"You were about to say 'as bad as that poster they made of me with the 'exaggerated' flank'," Tempest said, her voice cool but not as harsh as it would have been even a month ago. She trotted over and took a look. "Huh. Why would they go there? There's nothing there now but for that dice tournament Spike and Grubber told me about."

"Wait, what? Dice?" Twilight looked up, ears pinned in her worry.

Tempest smiled. "Yes. Gambling. They shoot dice, and -- what's your problem?"

At those words Twilight had frozen. 'No', she thought. 'I warned him about it. He wouldn't let those two talk him into --' "Um, Tempest, what happens if someone gets caught cheating at a dice tournament?"

"Oh, in Klugetown they used to throw them off a cliff, though here in Equestria I gues they just arrest you and -- hey! You look faint!"

"Get the others," Twilight groaned, hoping against hope that she'd be wrong. "We need to get to Los Pegasus."

***

And many miles away in Los Pegasus, two dragons and a flashily-dressed hedgehog walked up to the door of Flim and Flam's 'House of Fortune' Casino, holding out their ID to the scowling Yeti guards. The latter were ex-POWs hired for the event on the promise they'd be shipped back home as soon as it was over.

"Like I said," Spike whispered to Grubber and Garble as they fought not to flinch under the gaze of the hulking guards. "I have you two guys to run interference if anything goes wrong. I've got my dice," he showed the same set he'd used months before when playing Flim and Flam, "we clean the place out, put these jerks out of business, and everything's great!"

"And if they catch us?" Grubber gulped and asked.

"Ah, let 'em try something," Garble folded his arms on his chest. "I'm a dragon, remember? I'll kick all their butts and," he turned and choked to see a stall selling dragon skulls. The proprietor stood behind an empty space, whetted a knife and smiled cheerily at him. Garble gathered himself and said, "Or maybe I can let you guys handle it."

"Ah, you're scared of nothing," Spike strutted down off the train. He wore furs, a bowler hat, and rings on every claw. He stuck one hand into a pocket and brought out the dice Twilight made him swear to never play with again. "They'll take one look, think we're idiots with too much money, and try to cheat us out of it with the dice." He smiled and tossed his dice lightly in the air. "Then we take them to the cleaners, and Flim and Flam have to go back to being cheats rather than messing with stuff that matters like movies and comics. It'll be easy. We'll save the day!"

And with that the three went into the dragon, er, unicorn's den. Completely unaware they were being watched.

"What ho, brother dear, I think I spy with my little eye the same cheating lizard we met earlier. Shall we give him the surprise we've been planning?"

"Most certainly, brother. If he went to all this trouble, we might as well show him that 'Dragon Safari' idea we came up with!"

Session 71.4 Grogar-the-oneser

"Okay, were in the bracket now all we have to do is-"

"Scuse me sir, but you have to leave the dice you have with me." The pony running the registry said.

"Leave the dice to who now?" Spike asked confused.

"Its a common thing in these types of tournaments who bring there own dice, are usually the loaded die variety, ergo anyone who brings their own dice must leave them here."

"Eh..." Spike gulped as he nervously put the dice in his pocket "...What dice."

"Nice try. GUNTER!" The pony shouted, a yak walked into view and grabbed Spike and began shaking him rapidly making his dice and a few other items fell out. the pony quickly grabbed them.

"You know in retrospect, I did wonder what sane gambling competition would allow a player to bring their own equipment," Grubber muttered.

"I honestly can't believe he expected that he could use his own dice, especially after last time," Flim stated.

"But that dragon not out of it yet brother of mine, he will try either to regain said dice or try to cheat some other way." Flam said.

"Yes, hence our little surprise for our scaly friend.

Session 71.5 Alex Warlorn

(Spoilers for this game. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tooth_and_Tail )

Gilda stormed into Friendship Castle, looking absolutely livid.

"Uh, Hi Gilda?" Princess Twilight looked up from the Cutie Map.

"THIS IS GAME IS NOTHIN' BUT BUCKIN' PROPAGANDA!" Gilda slammed the video game on the table. "YOU'RE A PRINCESS! BAN IT!"

"Uh? What?" Twilight gingerly took the video game in her magic. She purposely didn't look on the donator's list included in the manual. "Teeth and Tails?" Twilight looked through it.

"Yeah! Ya four groups of animals who live in houses and aren't so lazy as to never build their own civilization and mooch off of ponies are hungry. So they decide to do what any animal does when its hungry, and eat other animals! I thought it was cool and everything, I mean, it's the laws of nature 'eat or be eaten' down to its purest form. But... " Gilda threw up her claws. "They had to throw in that how they were all 'omnivores' and could all magically survive on a completely veggie diet!" Gilda wiggled her talons about for that last part to emphasis her distain. "Oh, and they won't eat fish for some stupid reason. And apparently pigs are the only ones interested in farming and are the ones being eaten by everygriff else until they start 'vanishing' and the four factions go at each other. Until in the last level, it turns out it was all a plan by the poor persecuted piggy vegetarians to weaken their meat eating oppressors and attack en mass at the end! AGH! See wha I mean?! Propaganda! AGH! You ponies treat any speaking creature that eats meat as some unenlightened uncivilized barbarian! And this just spread that stupid attitude of yours! If you want to stay friends with griffins, I suggest you ban it pronto!"

"Uh... Gilda... maybe you should take a minute to calm down and-"

"I AM CALM!" Gilda screeched.

Session 71.6 Ardashir

"Okay genius," Grubber grumbled as the trio made their way into the main floor of the casino. "They got yer dice. What now?"

Spike looked around as he tried to think of an answer. The place was flashy in the best, or maybe worst, Los Pegasus fashion. Neon-bright illusions ran across the walls and overhead, pointing the prospective players towards the tables for dice, cards, the slots, and more exotic games of chance, like the one where unicorns had to use their magic to zap the exact right illusionary parasprite to win. Dealers hustled, waiters bore food and drinks -- lots of those, showmares in feathers and silk flirted with wide-eyed stallions and males of all species, and Yeti, minotaur, yak, and griffon guards were everywhere in the casino livery displaying Flim and Flam's cutie marks. They eyeballed the three in no friendly wise.

"Okay," Spike said, rubbing his scaly forehead. "We can still do this. We just need luck, and our wits."

"Yeah," Garble rolled his eyes. "That sounds like a plan. I --" He blinked to see one of the signs. "'King of the Hoard'? Wait, puny pathetic ponies think they can play a dragon game? Hah!" He reached down and snatched a bag filled with bits from Spike before swaggering off in the direction of the sign. "Watch me clean their clocks."

"Really?" Grubber followed Garble, his eyes wide. He snatched a slice of cake off one tray of food as its bearer passed by him. He seemed to inhale the meal, spitting out the plate, before he said, "Huh, I never woulda believed that about him."

"Believed what?" Spike asked, trying to keep his voice deep. He hurried after Grubber. It wouldn't do for him to get tossed because of his age. "That Garble could win a dragon game?"

"Nah," Grubber said. "I never woulda believed that Garble can read."

***

Outside, three mares from Ponyville were disembarking from the train.

"Look at this dump," Tempest said coldly as she trotted off the train. Wide-eyed tourists were everywhere, with touts from the various casinos, restaurants, and hotels vying for their business. One tried approaching her, but backed away as Tempest pinned her ears and snorted at them. "This is the one city in Equestria the Storm King wanted to leave intact after he won, and now I can see why."

"Never mind that," Starlight said as she checked her map. "We need to find Spike, Garble, and Grubber before they get in trouble." She shook her head as she checked the list of casinos. "Lucky Lady Casino'? 'Dragon's Hoard Casino'? 'Golden Griffon Casino'? Ugh, how many of these places are there - ah! There it is!" She pointed to one group of ponies following an Earth pony with a banner reading 'Fair Play Casino'. "That's the one Flim and Flam own."

"Pity Twilight couldn't come," Tempest said. "But that last minute message she got from the ponies on the other side of the magic mirror must have been important. Something about sirens?"

"All Trixie knows, it must have been important." The cocky blue showmare trotted along at the head of the group. She looked from one side to the next and forced them into an alley between two buildings. ""In here! Thankfully, the Great and Powerful Trixie knows this city like the back of her hoof. You are fortunate indeed that she was present to help you."

"Of course," Tempest said, not bothering to hide the scorn in her voice. "The blowhard who went down to a pair of Yeti Storm Guards."

Trixie pinned her ears. "Well, Trixie knows how to make us fit in here! We don't want to be noticed..."

"Uh, Trixie, we're not on some secret mission," Starlight began to say. "We're just here to get those three and bring them back without any trouble."

"So Trixie will make sure we look like locals!" Trixie's horn flashed. Starlight froze, dreading what she would see when she opened her eyes. She slowly did so, and relaxed. She was wearing a variation on her magician''s assistant costume she wore when she helped Trixie in her act.

"Now everypony will think that Trixie and her amazing assistant," she nodded at Starlight, "are here to try and get hired by Flim and Flam to perform. That will give us the run of the casino, and no one would look twice at a stage magician and her assistant in a Los Pegasus casino." She smirked and looked at Tempest. "You fit in now as well."

Starlight looked at Tempest and froze. The hard-faced unicorn mare was made up and dressed in the feathers and silks of a showmare. She looked coldly at her reflection and then back at the smiling Trixie.

A moment later Starlight was trying to use her magic to pull the enraged Tempest off Trixie's neck.

(OOC: Based on this picture of Tempest -- https://derpibooru.org/1571400?q=show+mares )

Session 71.7 Mtangalion

"Class!" shouted Miss Cheerilee. She rapped her knuckles on her desk, trying to make herself heard over the ruckus of a dozen students ignoring her and talking all at once. "Class, settle down, please!" She yelped and ducked the barrage of paper airplanes and crumpled homework sheets that came flying at her.

Fido, Spot, and Rover chuckled darkly, tearing up more test papers. "You ain't the boss of us!"

"You aren't the boss of us," said Miss Cheerilee, automatically correcting them. She blinked. "I most certainly am the boss of you, while you're in my classroom! Children, you need to settle down and behave right now, or…"

"Or what?" said Trixie slyly.

Silver Spoon held up her latest model smartphone, snapping more pictures of the out of control classroom. "Whoops, we just posted all of those photos to MyStable," said Diamond Tiara smugly. She and Silver high-fived.

In the back of the classroom, the Canterlot Crusaders were sharing excited grins. "Did you see that?" squealed Sweetie Belle. "I cast Anarchy Aria on them, just like in the MOBA!"

Apple Bloom rubbed her hands together, her eyes flashing green. "It's like we're leveling up in real life!"

Scootaloo laughed. "Our stupid sisters can't hog all the magical fun to themselves now. It's our turn to be as awesome as we wanna be."

A strange shimmer seemed to pass through the young conspirators. Without quite understanding why, Sweetie and Bloom hummed "Ooh ahh ooh, ooh whaa ooh!" … in perfect two part harmony. Blinking at each other, they snapped their fingers, and half of their classmates snapped their fingers right along with them.

Scootaloo gawked, then grinned all the more. "Awesome as we wanna be!" she crooned, slow and deliberate in a minor key.

"Since when can you sing?" whispered Sweetie Belle.

"Just go with it!" hissed Apple Bloom.

Sweetie and Bloom nodded to each other, then took deep breaths. "Ooh ahh ooh, ooh whaa ooh!" They stamped their feet, and the whole class did that too.

Scootaloo stood up, shoving her desk aside dramatically. "First you'll see us, owning this whole classroom!" she sang. "No more homework, who needs that doom and gloom?"

"Oooh ahh ahh, ohh waa ahh!" The Diamond Dog gang was overturning book shelves, Diamond and Silver were ruthlessly mocking some of the less popular kids, and Soarin' and Spitfire were doodling on all the classroom posters, and none of them seemed to realize that they were still stamping their feet and snapping their fingers to the slow, dark beat. Swirls of green energy rose, siphoning power out of the whole class and pouring it into the Crusaders.

Scoots switched to the backup vocals and Sweetie took the melody. "We've leveled up, we're gonna get the highest score!"

Apple Bloom finished the verse with "And we'll always leave y'all wanting more!"

"We're awesome!" the Crusaders chorused. "Take caution!" Green light swirled… Fish scales spread up their arms and covered parts of their faces. "So awesome!"

"Awesome as we wanna be!" belted out Scootaloo, starting to float off the floor...

In the principal's office, Celestia was glaring down at three young people. "You should be in class, not roaming the halls."

Sunset Shimmer blushed, scratching her hair, and Twilight cringed.

Celestia turned her head. "And I don't believe that you are even a student here!"

Gilda gulped. "We can explain! You… just wouldn't believe us. In like a million years. Crap."

The intercom buzzed, and Principal Celestia massaged her temple. "Excuse me just a moment." She pressed the button.

The intercom came on at full volume, blasting them with… music? And singing? "Celestia?" wailed Miss Cheerilee. "I'm having a little problem here! No, stop that… What are you doing..."

"That song's kind of catchy," said Twilight, tapping her foot to the hypnotic beat. Sunset glared at her. "What?"

Sunset just shook her head and whipped out the magical journal, writing fast. "Princess, sirens are attacking CHS! Send help NOW!"

Session 71.8 Alex Warlorn

"Starlight! What are you doing here? I left you back home!" Princess Twilight asked.

"Hey! You never left me anywhere! And you switch to contacts?"

"What do you... oh! Uh! That's not me! That's another girl with my name and face!"

"Uh-Huh, did those cultists brain zap you or-"

"Princess Twilight you're here! Uh!... And by Princess I mean..."

The Human Starlight Glimmer looked from one identical teenage girl to the other. "I've heard of identical strangers but this is ridiculous! Where you part of a secret government clone experiment?! WAIT! IS THERE A SECRET GOVERNMENT CLONE OF ME?!"

Session 71.9 Zaku789

".... ah, I see this is just me suffering a stress illusion, sad but considering the response I had over trying to expose this in the past few days, it's to be expected. though I gotta say this is mild compared to what I was expecting." Starlight said with a shrug.

"S-should we correct her or-" Twilight asked

"Let her believe what she wants, especially since we all might suffer a nervous breakdown soon." Pinkie said, "Especially since the crusaders are pulling a siren in a classroom."

"Ah okay... wait what?"

Session 71.10 Ardashir

"I can't believe the way these ponies have wussified 'King of the Hoard'," Garble grumbled as he stalked back into the main casino. A heavy door swung shut behind him, cutting off the sound of pony laughter. "No getting on top of a pile of gems and knocking all your rivals down. Oh, no, 'that's so barbaric'." He mimed a falsetto voice. "Yeesh, they play it with some deck of cards, and..." He looked around, and realized that the two runts were nowhere in sight. He vaguely remembered them slipping away once he started arguing with the griffon who ran the game how they were doing it wrong. "Those two better not have run off without me!"

Hearing two familiar voices, Garble forced a path through the crowd. Being a dragon, even if only a teenaged one, he had few problems in clearing the way. Once or twice he had to snort some flame from his nose. The ponies quickly got the message and backed away, smiling nervously and their ears pinned.

He caught up with the two at one of the tables. It had some fancy looking wheel on it with a little metal ball rolling around in it. To Garble's lack of surprise, they looked nervous and were down to half a dozen chips -- and why did the call them chips? He'd eaten some and they tasted awful.

"Hey!" Garble got their attention by slamming his last two bits down on the table. He noticed they were on one of the numbers that covered it, but then got back to the more important task. "Listen up, shorty," he snapped at Spike. "You said you were a gambling genius. So where's the fortune?"

"Oh! Uh, hi, Garble," Spike smiled, looking nervous. "I'm just, uh, lying some groundwork! Making everypony think we're easy marks."

"You're doing a great job," Grubber said, looking morose as the wheel came to a stop.

"Twenty-two red! The number is twenty-two red!" The croupier, a unicorn, raked in the chips amidst a chorus of grumbles. "No winners this time. Please place your bets! Hey scaly," Garble gave the pony a sour look. The unicorn pointed at his two bits on the table, lying atop a green space marked 00. "You sure you want your bits there?"

"I put 'em there, didn't I?" Garble snorted and turned back to arguing with Spike. "You said you were gonna clean up at craps, whatever that is."

"I'm working on it..."

"The winner is 00, stallions and mares," the croupier said. He pushed a large pile of chips over to Garble's two bits. Grubber choked at the sight. "Pays at 35 to 1! The red gentleman is the winner. Do you want to cash out, sir?"

"Huh? Nah, I got business right here." Garble turned back to Spike. He heard the wheel start spinning again. "Griffons will rebuild Griffonstone before you finish 'working on it'!"

"Okay, that's just uncalled for!"

"Winner is 00 again!" The unicorn sounded stunned. He pushed an even larger pile of chips over to Garble's pile. "Will the gentleman move, or...?"

"I'm staying here!" Garble snapped at the pony. He set his claws on his hips and said to Spike, "No it ain't uncalled for! You dragged me and the little butterball here..."

"Yahoo!" The little butterball jumped for joy. Ponies and other beings gasped. Grubber grabbed Garble's leg. "00 hit again! Look at that pile!"

"Huh?" Garble looked at it. Spike did too, and almost collapsed. "Okay, yeah, fine." Grubber tried taking some of it away. Garble slapped his paws. "Keeps your claws ta yourself! I'll move it when I'm ready."

"Are you nuts!" Grubber howled, even as the croupier, sounding rather weak by now, called for any other bets before he spun the wheel once more Grubber dropped to his knees and raised his paws skywards. "Merciful ancestors, I don't even believe you exist, but save this loot from this idiot!"

Garble ignored him and the crowd of wide-eyed ponies gathering around. After all, why wouldn't puny ponies stare at one of the most magnificent dragons alive? Grubber and Spike both stared at the rolling wheel with horrified fascination. He said to Spike, "Stop staring at those dumb chips and look at me! You're gonna lose all our bits and we'll have ta hitchhike back ta Ponyville. You got any idea how stupid you have ta be ta do that?"

"Once more," the croupier croaked the words out, "00 wins! Mares and stallions, the bank at this table is officially broken!"

Grubber fainted. Spike swayed on his feet, but Garble shook him awake. As he did he became aware of the awed whispers all around him. "Look at that! That dragon's a genius!" "The greatest roulette player of all time! Look at him and you'd think he was an idiot!" "The best display of obfuscating stupidity I've ever seen." "Maybe if I get him to rub that claw of his on my head some of the luck will rub off!"

"What?" Garble yelled at the ponies. When one pony got a little too close, Garble raised his scaly fist. "I'll rub your head with this if ya don't get lost! Weirdo!" The watchers scattered. He looked at the table. The unicorn was spreading a black sheet over it. "What? Game over?" He looked at the pile of worthless plastic. "Ah, these two can have that junk." As Grubber and Spike hurriedly began stuffing a pair of bags with the chips, Garble picked up his gleaming golden bits. "Hah! See, I kept my money." He preened and pocketed his two bits. "I'm coming out ahead here. And Mom and Ember said I was a dope. Shows how much they know."

And all unknown to Garble the Genius, Spike, and Grubber, a pair of watching unicorns called one of their assistants over. "High Roll? Arrange a nice suite for the three, ah, gentlemen. Food and everything else is comped."

"But mare SURE you get them into the private craps game tomorrow. Because that money is staying right here."

Session 71.11 Zaku789

"Very good sir, incidentally remember how you mention all casino staff should keep an eye on all associate of miss Twilight?" High Chance asked.

"Yes."

"Well, a miss Trixie and the princess's protege are trying to book a gig. and the former general is sloppily trying to sneak in."

"You're sure?"

"Well considering she dress like one of our dancers and is beating a minotaur who catwhistle at her with an advanced martial arts move. I say pretty sure." High chance stated.

+

"Should we tell her that whistle was directed at a female minotaur walking close to her." Starlight questioned.

"Trixie self-preservation instinct says no," Trixie stated.

+

"Excellent, all is going to plan," Flam stated, both brothers cackled.

Session 71.12 Zaku789

"What are you doing?"

"I'm texting Adagio to tell her exactly what I think of her and her sicko family."

"my phone!" Sunset yelled as Gilda slapped it from her hand.

"Sorry, but we couldn't have you contact Adagio. The only advantage we have at the moment is cause she doesn't know we are aware of her scheme." Gilda stated.

"But did you have to slap it out of my hands. D you know how much they cost!" Sunset said annoyed.

Session 71.13 All-Overboard

Discord wanted to be somewhere else than in this place. On his left was his former wife Angrboda… sitting there menacingly in her usual goth like attire scowling slightly as she ushered Fenrir back home and getting the other two children to calm down after all that business in Canterlot. On his right was the new flame as Angrboda had called her Fluttershy demurely taking a sip of tea.

Only this time… she was not smiling. Her gaze was caught directly on Angrboda and Discord wanted to be anywhere else but here.

"Shall we get started on our O&O campaign…" He started.

Both females glared at him causing him to shrink back. Yes he really wanted to be dealing with the new plan that the sirens had cooked up but no. Sparklebutt decided that he needed to keep the space time continuum from falling apart after all the other problems that happened like the zombie kingdom or the alien invasion or even disappointing her in that her mother wasn't the author of Daring Do no matter how much she wished it was true.

That reminded him about the problems with Windy Whistles and Rainbow Dash Senior… That was still a work in progress and Celestia was still bugging him on that.

Luckily Discord used an astral projection to heavily lean on his arm as he sighed. Nowadays every mare was telling him what to do. Clean up this, don't chaos there, you had children and didn't tell me. Sometimes he liked to keep secrets since they didn't usually affect anyone in the long run.

"Discord… We're ready to start." Fluttershy announced but there was no demure tones to it.

"Yes dear ex husband. Let's." Angrboda added garnering a scowl from Fluttershy, something she was not used to doing.

"Uh… yeah… You're character sheets if you please."

Fluttershy handed him hers. What he saw surprised him. It was a death knight rolled up with immense carnage as one of the perks including a home brewed perk of blood drench. Whenever the player is drenched in blood they get plus 3's to attack rolls. If it hadn't been written in Fluttershy's delicate hoofwriting he wouldn't have believed it.

Angrboda handed hers and it was more shocking. She was playing a priest of a god she actively loathed to the point she tried to kill him every single time they met. She even had perks in praying to him and acting it out in person to get extra to her own rolls. Once again the jagged lines she used to make her writing made it obvious it was hers.

"Right… um… let's get started." Discord nervously stated. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Angel Bunny… actually pitying him and feeling sorry for him. He didn't know whether or not to be scared that both were playing against type or immensely excited that they were going to be way out of character. He wisely said nothing and started the adventure.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had taken three hours until all civility broke down and both Angrboda and Fluttershy were arguing and slugging it out. Discord had secretly been boosting her with his chaos magic since Angrboda was the experienced fighter… something she noticed and growled menacingly at him for. It had taken a few hours before Celestia and Luna came in to actually assist… since they were munching on popcorn obviously enjoying the fireworks.

Discord eventually had to chain both females up and placing them in their chairs… he had forgotten some quirks of his former wife and quickly changed it to saran wrap before she enjoyed it too much.

"Shall we continue our adventure then?" Discord politely asked.

Both of them merely glared at each other while Celestia and Luna sat back and watched the mental showdown. For Discord, all he could watch was his hand slowly massage his temples to keep the constant pounding headache from getting out of control.

Session 71.14 Kendell2

"You know, Celly, Lulu, you're not the only ones who have to deal with these sort of messes, especially after a humiliating defeat," Discord commented, depowering a human from another dimension that had somehow obtained unbelievable (for him) power from a mysterious vendor and thought they could run rampant over Equestria, which seemed to be an usually common situation all things considered.

Celestia blinked. "Really?" asked the mare, sipping some tea.

"Yes! For some reason I have to constantly deal with half a dozen 'real Gods of Chaos' that think they can usurp MY authority and take over!" Discord said, genuinely seeming insulted by that. "Especially after Pinkie Pie nearly actually succeeded...of course she's PINKIE PIE, so she's kind of an outlier...sometimes I wonder if she's somehow related to me or one of my relatives..."

As if on cue, a portal opened and outcame an armored knight, laughing insanely. "False God of Chaos! Prepare to be overthrown by me! The true God of Chaos known as Paradox, the Lord of the Unstable Vortex!"

Discord growled and snapped his fingers, a flash of light suddenly turning into a naked human wearing only socks and made of corn (prompting the Princesses to blush and look away). "Now you're Pair of Socks, the Lord of Corn," he said, right as the pretender to the throne was chased screaming by Philomena. "See what I mean?! You go missing for a few thousand years as a statue and everyone thinks they can take your job! And that's not even talking about what happened when I was freed from my prison and could finally go back to my realm..."

An entire legion of chaotic creatures screamed in panic and ran out of Discord's house in his chaotic realm, Discord coming out after them firing a shotgun into the air (each blast sounding like a different dog barking). "AND STAY OUT YOU SQUATTERS!...Smooze, next time you have my permission to eat them."

"Some are more annoying than others honestly," replied Discord with a sigh. "But it's ALWAYS annoying...I mean the first hundred times was fun, but then it just became work."

"Tell me about it," Celestia replied with an annoyed sigh. "You'd think sooner or later they'd get the hint that it won't be as easy as it seems..."

"The most annoying part is when they're evil despots or omnicidal maniacs and STILL say they're more chaotic than me!" Discord exclaimed in sheer annoyance. "I mean yes, I WAS an Evil Overlord, but I was a CHAOTIC Evil Overlord! Not a LAWFUL one! And a dead universe is BLECH! Perfectly orderly and silent! That's WORSE than being turned to stone! What is chaos coming to when that kind of thing passes for a god of it!"

"Maybe thou should start a cult of some sort," Luna suggested. "Worked for me."

"Good idea, but cults require ORDER and RULES and ugh, I don't have patience for that!" Discord replied. "And then you have renegade splinter factions that run around doing evil things in your name when you don't want them to, too much work for me thank you!"

Celestia rolled her eyes. "Regardless, I think we should just relax before all this drives us crazy...let's play some O&O, shall we?"

Session 71.15 Ardashir

A train from Los Pegasus pulled into the Ponyville station. Three tired ponies, two dragons, and a heartbroken short hedgehog left their car.

"A fortune," Grubber moaned. He waved his hands in the air. "We had a bucking FORTUNE in our hands. I actually saw it right in front of me on the table."

"And then Spike had to admit that he was only a child by both pony and dragon standards, which meant the entire play was invalid and you couldn't win anything." Trixie grinned, looking a little like her old nasty self. "But the Amused and Vindictive Trixie will never stop feeling joy when she remembers the looks on the faces of those conponies when your dice came up a '12'."

"You mean boxcars?" Spike flushed through his scales at the amused looks the three mares gave him. "Or, uh, something like that."

Grubber complained on as though no one had interruoted his tale of woe.

"I was gonna go back home, wear pinstripe polyester, and drive up and down the street in the fanciest chariot anyone ever saw, giving gold bits to everyone in the old neighborhood. An' everyone was gonna say 'There he goes. That's Grubber. The guy's not a loser any more.'" He shook his head sadly. He only stopped when Tempest lightly bopped him atop the head.

"No," Tempest said, turning him to face her. "You and those other two were going to end up an off-ramp in the Los Pegasus roads with one of your betting chips marking your grave." She sighed. "Be glad those two cheats were willing to accept ownership of part of the Storm King's little business empire in exchange for sparing your lives." She smirked. "I hope they know by now that also means accepting responsibility for handling his unpaid debts. I wondered how I would handle them; paying that off should keep them out of trouble for a few years."

"What were you three even thinking?" Starlight demanded as they left the train station, heading for the Friendship Castle. "Cheating the owners of a Los Pegasus casino? Even if they are Flim and Flam. Especially you, Spike," Starlight frowned down at the little dragon. "I can't expect any good sense from those two, but I thought Twilight taught you better!"

"Great," Spike grumbled. "Not only did I lose a fortune AND have to leave Flim and Flam to wreck more great comics and movies, but now I'm gonna get another lecture from Twilight too." He broke off as Garble swaggered in between him and Starlight.

"I dunno what you guys are worried about," a smug smile crossing his face. He held up two gleaming golden coins. "I still got the two bits I left with. Hey, I beat Los Pegasus!" His smile turned to a scowl as he caught the contemptuous smirks on the faces of Tempest, Starlight, and Trixie. "What? Was I supposed to be stupid and bring those dumb round plastic things back?"

"Should Trixie tell him?" When the other two made 'go ahead' gestures, Trixie cleared her throat. "Those 'dumb round plastic things' are how the casino keeps track of your winnings."

"What?"

"You had a bagful," Starlight said, "even after giving Grubber and Spike a stake for their craps game. That was all money you tossed away to the crowd before we left."

"What??"

Tempest smiled, looking as nasty as when she'd served the Storm King. "You probably tossed away twenty or thirty million bits when you did that. I imagine everypony from Equestria to the Dragonlands has heard about your amazing generosity and total stupidity, lizard." She trotted past him. "Enjoy your reputation as the biggest fool alive."

They headed into the palace, leaving Garble outside to eat his head on the ground while uttering wails of despair.

"THIRTY! MILLION! BITS!"

Session 71.16 Mtangalion

The day before…

"It's right here," said Starlight Glimmer, pushing Sunburst along, "inside my mobile command center!"

Sunburst gulped. "You mean, that beat up old van?"

Starlight winced. "Of course, in the van! It's the perfect cover, right?"

"Even if you are an old friend, I don't know if I should… whoa!"

Starlight grabbed his hand, yanked him into the open back of the van, and slammed the door behind them. After glancing around for any stealthy government spies, she whipped away the cloth covering a bulletin board covered in tacked up photographs and news articles, with colored threads everywhere connecting them.

"Ooh." Sunburst stared and adjusted his askew glasses, trying to take it all in.

Starlight beamed. "It's all laid out for you here, Sunburst!" She grabbed a pointer and started tapping different parts of the board. "Riots at Canterlot High, twice with major property damage… all hushed up. Rainbow explosions in the sky. Chaos at a campsite just outside town. A giant woman running amok at the mall, seen by multiple witnesses, then gone without a trace! This mysterious new ‘Friendship Castle' amusement center… what are they hiding there? And now… Crystalsoft! Highly addictive and over-competitive games, and VR eyepatches… there's definitely something fishy going on!"

Starlight grasped Sunburst's shoulders excitedly. "So, what's the story? What's this conspiracy really all about? What's their game!?"

Sunburst cringed, sweating. "You've, uh… really put a lot of work into this, I can tell. That's certainly... a lot of things that happened."

Starlight's face fell. "That's all you have to say? But, you're a genius!" She blinked. "Oh. Oh, right! Of course, a genius detective like you would have all kinds of cover stories, just like the Great Detective S in Pie-in-the-Face Note! It's okay, Sunburst, you don't have to be modest around me."

Sunburst wrung his hands. "Starlight, I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm not a genius."

Starlight nodded, grinning and winking. "Right, of course you're not."

"I'm really not a genius!" Sunburst blurted out. "I washed out of that gifted and talented program! I'm not super-smart at all, I just have a perfect memory! For goodness sake, I stock the shelves at Shining Armor's comic book shop now!" He turned away, holding back tears. "I'm sorry about all those years ago, and I'd like to be your friend again, Starlight, but… if it's a genius detective you need, that's not me."

Starlight's face fell and twitched, like she'd crashed and needed a reboot. "Sunburst…" Then she went to him and put an arm around his shoulders, smiling a bit, giving him a warm squeeze when he smiled back at her. "I guess we're going to need a plan B."

Outside Canterlot High School, Starlight Glimmer shook a finger at Sunset Shimmer and Twilight… and the other Twilight. "It looks like I'm going to have to break out the big guns, if I want to get to the bottom of this conspiracy." She grinned. "I should warn you… nothing, but nothing gets past my partner, so don't even think about getting slippery with the truth now!" She snapped her fingers, and a orange-skinned, red-haired young man stepped out of the van dramatically, wearing an overcoat and dark shades.

Princess Twilight blinked. "Sunburst?"

Sunburst immediately bungled his Cool Walk by stumbling on the street curb.

Starlight facepalmed. "Does anybody here not have a secret clone?"

Sunset Shimmer raised her hand sheepishly. "We haven't seen a trace of mine. It's actually kind of worrying me a bit." Princess Twilight glared at her. "Well, it is!"

Session 71.17 Ardashir

"Can't I stop yet?" Spike asked, his cramping claws still holding onto the piece of chalk. In front of him the line I WILL NEVER EVER CHEAT IN A LAS PEGASUS CASINO AGAIN repeated seemingly endlessly across three and a half chalkboards. "Yeesh, Twilight, you didn't do this to Grubber or Garble!"

"That's right, I didn't." The dragon squirmed as Twilight towered over him. Her face stern, she said, "Pretend it's a game, Spike. Maybe that'll help the time pass. Besides, you only have half a board left to go." Spike grumbled and went back to his punishment. She said, "Grubber's an adult, Spike, and I decided to let Tempest handle him. And as for Garble, well?" Twilight trotted over to the window and looked out to the distant mountains.

"I told Ember about what he did. She said she'll send him back as soon as he's been 'properly disciplined as a dragon should be', whatever that means."

***

And in the Dragonlands?

Garble cringed before a gigantic golden-yellow female dragon as she stared at him in stunned disbelief. He backed against the stone walls of the lair as though seeking escape.

"YOU THREW AWAY A HOARD OF BITS? YOU WON A FORTUNE AND TOSSED IT AWAY? Hah!" She buried her face in her claws. Flying up beside her head, Ember set a comforting claw on her. "My son, the genius!"

"Now, mom..." Garble froze as the she-dragon glared at him. He turned and fled for the cave mouth, only to stop when her tail slammed down before him with a thunderous boom. "No! Not that!"

"You know the position," she rumbled like a volcanic caldera ready to erupt. "You disgraced dragonkind. Be glad it's ME and not your father." She lowered one massive claw, one finger set back against her thumb as though she were about to shoot marbles.

Garble winced, and then laid himself over his mother's tail facing outside and with his flank facing her finger. He gulped and closed his eyes.

The next moment a screaming Garble flew though the air to land in a rare Dragonlands pool of ice-cold water. Ember was waiting for him as he clambered out, spluttering and steaming. Some of his fellow young dragons were nearby. They laughed and held up signs with various numbers on them.

"Smooth move, Garble!" Several of them jeered.

"Now I won't be able to breathe fire for a week!" He rubbed his scaly rump and winced. "OW! Not to mention this!" He smiled as a thought struck him. "Oh well, at least I can't represent dragonkind among those puny pathetic ponies any more! Hah! In your face, lady!" He snapped his claws under Ember's muzzle and started to walk off.

"Oh, you're still our representative," Ember said smoothly. As Garble froze, she added, "In fact, with the upcoming summit, I'm making YOU accountable for setting up my rooms at the meeting." She added sweetly, "I'll be needing an appropriate hoard to sleep on, and I'm not moving mine." Garble choked as she smiled, her fangs gleaming. "Guess who just volunteered theirs for the sake of all dragons?"

Garble looked back at the family lair and saw his mother with her arms folded over her chest, and his hoard laying on a tarp and ready for travel in front of her.

"Losing two hoards... in two weeks...?"

Garble's reaction was fully in accord with the character of both dragons and himself.

He fainted.

Session 71.18 Alex Warlorn

Discord said, "So you come upon this inn-"

"I bribe the inn keeper to poison her drink!" Fluttershy shouted loudly.

"Not if I bribe him first!"

"You do realize he's likely to take both your money and poison both of you right?" Discord asked.

The mare and goddess merely glared at him.

"Sister's, fun's fun in seeing Discord squirm, but we thinks it best to now bring Fluttershy back down to her senses before she accidentally poisons her bond to the Element of Kindness."

"Lulu, you know that we weren't mindless perfect embodiments of their Element, they're allowed to be flawed."

Both waited for Fluttershy to do something completely vicious to punctuate Celestia's folly, but none came.

"All the same, we best defuse this situation before it somehow becomes even worse."

"I wonder if other Discords had trouble like this."

"No dear, of course dear, you'll get your support money, I promise, yes I know dear, no I'm not dear, but I fail to see how that's your business if I'm... yes dear." Game designer Discord sighed.

--

"OW! OW! No! I'm not giving up this 'Captain Goodguy nonsense!' I'll have you know I'm been helping a lot of ponies, and -- Yes I know the Princesses have reformed, but that just means Empress Cadence had seen as her chance to fill in the void! And she's not turning nice with a little blast of love and harmony magic! Pleas dear I love you too, but can you please stop chaining me to a chair every time you want a romantic evening?"

"What about that brat Fluttershy?"

"I'm helping reform her!"

"Sure you are..." She glared.

++++

Princess Twilight thought to herself, 'Okay, she's with Sunburst, that must mean this Starlight Glimmer has already become well adjusted and isn't going to go evil. ... She's just seen a lot of things that don't fit into a human's normal definition of what is and what isn't, and is trying glue it in a way that fits her and... "Uh, Starlight? What's this book?" Princess Twilight asked, as Starlight Glimmer the human presented them with her mobile conspiracy lab (Sci-Twilight already seeing lots of way to improve it).

"Oh, just some light reading for a better tomorrow."

"'Brainwashing for the Greater Good And You?'"

"OH! THAT! Just something I borrowed from the library!"

Sci-Twilight blushed. "Uh, can I borrow it later?"

Sunset looked at Sci-Twilight, then at Princess Twilight, "I KNEW IT WAS GENETIC!... " Purple teenage girls glared at her. "Uh, never mind."

Session 71.19 Mtangalion

The original Sirens, holed up in one of the athletic field's locker rooms, were not having a good day.

Adagio growled at their MOBA GM laptop, typing faster, then smacked it with her fist. "Why isn't the brainwashing protocol working?!" She glared at the purple-skinned member of their trio. "Aria, you were in charge of that!"

Aria shoved her aside and grabbed the laptop. "I didn't expect to get this many at once. Look, there's three proto-sirens together in one classroom!"

"Three?" Sonata grinned. "That's good, right?"

Aria tensed. "No, no no no…"

Sonata tilted her head. "That's… bad?"

"They were supposed to be subservient to us," said Aria, typing rapid-fire, "but these three have gone and formed their own power trio."

Adagio grabbed Aria by the front of her jacket. "Well, fix it! I am not having a bunch of brats stealing our show."

Aria shoved Adagio back. "Hey, paws off!"

"Oh, this could really be bad," moaned Sonata. "What if the new sirens outvote us, and Taco Tuesday… isn't Taco Tuesday any more?!"

Aria screamed through clenched teeth. "Tacos, tacos, tacos! If I never see, smell, or even hear the word ‘taco' again, it'll be too…"

Somebody started slow-clapping, causing them all to freeze, then turn to watch Rainbow Dash glide into the room, with fish-scaled skin and hair that floated around her head like seaweed in the tide. She wore a glowing crimson necklace… and her geode, which wasn't glowing in the slightest.

"Looks like I hit the motherlode," crooned Dash. "All that delish energy. Just how many centuries of grudges have you girls been saving up?" She conjured a guitar in a flood of magic and started strumming a rockin' cover of Duel of the Fates. "Mine now. Give it."

There was a loud thump, and another door slammed open, revealing another girl with another ruby gem. "That's Trixie's line!"

Then the whole building shook, and a third girl came through a *wall*. "No, it's mine," said Tempest, casually cracking her knuckles and wiping concrete dust off her sleeves. "Minus the lame ‘Trixie' part."

Adagio Dazzle stood, clutching the mirror shard. "You want it?" She belted out a C above high C, drawing out all the stored up power and creating a new stone for herself. Aria and Sonata rushed to her side, already humming backing vocals. "Come and take it."

Session 71.20 Kendell2

= Final Boss - Sonic Mania =

"Congrats, you made your own gems...too bad for you..." Adagio smirked, pulling the necklace she'd created and putting it around her neck, her sisters taking out theirs and putting them on. "Well let me just put it in a way you idiots can understand: they're so last expansion!" she stated, putting the gem into the necklace, causing it to ignite with red 'tron lines' streaming through it and laughing as the shadow of two digitized, fin-like wings appeared on her back. The three newborne Sirens all gave either a song or a guitar string, sending out a stream of red soundwaves.

The three original Sirens all sang one single long note, returning fire with one of their own, but this time with digital looking lines streaming through it. Their power plowed through the three newbies' attack and floored them without any trouble.

Adagio hovered up above them, pulsing with digital light. Tempest growled, jumping up and throwing a punch at her, only for Adagio to catch it, easily overpowering her artificial arm. "Here's a little tip, hatchlings..." she said, grabbing Tempest and hoisting her over head with one arm before throwing her into the other two with enough force to knock them down. She then sang a long note, the red digitized sound waves seeming to levitate them, at which point Adagio threw them around, slamming them into several objects before throwing them to the ground. She walked over, looming over them with a dominant posture and expression that made the Siren instincts in them scream. "Get this straight: I am the Alpha! You three? Are little fish I can easy catch replacements for. GOT IT?!"

The three nodded, having no idea what the strange fear in their minds was but not having the experience to beat it back. The fear of a pack animal when confronted by the stronger Alpha.

"Good..." she said, smirking. Her smartphone rang. "...Looks like it's time for the next boss, you three don't want to be late, now do you?"

The three looked to each other. In a mix of Adagio's dominance as an Alpha triggering instincts they didn't know, let alone have any reasonable control over and the possibility absorbing more negativity might let them overthrow her, they quickly headed off to find the boss.

"...Come on girls, it's time for the main even," Adagio said, walking over to her sisters.

"And if I can't get the control brainwashing protocol working all the way?" asked Aria.

"Then we either brainwash them ourselves..." Adagio replied, looking back and giving a predatory smirk, her canines having now become predatory fangs. "We get them to bow the old fashion way: by displaying our dominance and beating them to their knees."

Session 71.21 Kendell2

"HAHA!" cackled the Maneiac, standing in her secret lair with another giant laser of some sort, and wearing a Santa hat. "When Santa Hooves begins his nightly fight, I will shoot him down and bring misery to the entire world! And his legendary beard will be MINE!" she announced, laughing insanely.

"...Why does she want Santa Hooves' beard?" asked Applejack, the group once more the Power Ponies and hanging over a vat of boiling, peppermint scented shampoo.

"She's the Maneiac..." replied Rainbow Dash. "She's being crazy as Tartarus, I doubt even SHE knows why she knows it!"

"Now, say goodbuy to the holiday, Power Ponies!" called the Maneiac as she began to power up her cannon laughing insanely.

"There's one thing you forgot about, Maneiac!" called Twilight.

"And what's that? Matter-Horn?!" mocked the madmare. "The Hearth's Warming Spirit?!"

"No..."

Spike swung by, landing their rope cocoon and slashing it open, Applejack and Rarity using their powers to rescue them.

"Humdrum!" called Twilight, high hoofing Spike.

"And this time I brought some friends!" Spike replied.

The front door exploded and in zipped Scootaloo right into the nearest mook with a buck, as Kid Fillysecond, Sweetie Belle as Batfilly (Zapp and Radience unfortunately had no sidekick), and Apple Bloom as Marevelous Filly (punching the nearest goon). The trio rushed over and took a battle pose next to their big sister figures.

"Thanks fer lettin' us join yah, sis!" called Apple Bloom.

Applejack smirked. "Welcome, sis. Now let's kick some flank!"

Session 71.22 Alex Warlorn

"So, have you met Timber Spruce yet in your universe?" Sic-Twilight asked she and Twilight played a duel game of Tetris Vs... their scores were exactly even.

"No, actually... though I have met Flash Sentry in my universe... which is rather strange... " Princess Twilight gasped in shock. "Wait! I didn't start returning social advances until after CSGU! What if hit on me in High School and I never noticed?!"

"CSGU? And how could you forget someone like him?"

"Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns! And..." Princess Twilight blushed. "I didn't realize that Cadence's bride maids were my own school mates until years later when Pinkie Pie pointed out to me!"

"Well... I'm not that bad."

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE YOU'RE THE BIGGEST BEOTCH IN THE WORLD AND I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL!" Shouted a pale cream girl with red hair and a purple streak... physically she looked like a recolor of Twilight Sparkle... except she didn't have glasses. And she was wearing a VR-eyepatch. "I'd send you there myself but I'm not missing that wandering Shadow-Mega-phenix!" She ran off, pushing some people out of the way she attacked the virtual creature only a player could see.

"Who was that?" Sci-Twilight Sparkle asked confused.

"I FIGURED IT OUT!" Twilight Sparkle said dramatically. "ME IN THE HUMAN WORLD HAS GLASSES! BUT HER MOON DANCER DOESN'T! WHILE I DON'T ON EQUUS BUT MY MOON DANCER DOES! Which means I can take off these stupid glasses now!"

"Oh, I thought you were wearing them so we'd look more alike."

"No, blame Pinkie Pie."

"Have you girls calmed down?" Sunset asked, holding an icepack, coming out of Starlight Glimmer's little mobile command center.

"Uh... yes."

--

"Daddy, someone is hacking the Heroes of Equestria AR game's data base..."

--

"Ha ha! we're in!" Starlight said dramatically, Sunburst and her sitting at the labtop.

Session 71.23 Grogar-the-oneser

"Oh? what do they want?" Discord questioned

"They are entering adagio and the other two files."

"Hmm... Let them do what they want. I don't like how Adagio been walking around with a 'I will destroy you all' grin." Discord said. "But don't make it easy for them either, know what I mean."

"Right, hit them with a whipcream brick pie, hold the brick."

"Good girl!" Discord grinned.

Session 71.24 Ardashir

In the City of Maretropolis...

"AH-HAHAHA!" High Heel cackled with glee as her gang, the Heels, robbed the Maretropolis Museum. Innocent citizens fled in terror as her gang smashed their way into the various glass displays, removing the objects of their mistress' desire. "The fools! They thought they could keep ME away from their display of the most famous footwear in film! Even the few pieces I'll deign to sell on the black market will make me rich beyond my wildest dreams; and the best will go into my private collection! Who else could possibly appreciate them?" As she raved one of them brought her a pair of shining ruby horseshoes. "Ahh, I loved that movie! Even if the Witch's plan was ridiculous."

She yelled as a golden lasso whipped out and snatched the famous ruby-studded treasures from her hooves. At that same moment a heroic voice rang out.

"If you want to see those again, but a ticket when they show that movie on the holidays, High Steal!"

"W-whhat? Who dares?" High Heel choked in fury as she saw who had just mocked her.

Maretropolis' greatest heroes, and Humdrum, were backlit and looking heroic as they charged into the room.

"Radiance! And the Power Ponies!" She smirked to see a blue mare in fishnet stockings. "Hah, and that show-off one trick pony Zap-tanna? And who's this?" A purple, spiky-maned broken horned unicorn took up a hoof-fighting stance. "No-Horn the Unicorn? Ugh, you're letting anypony join you these day --"

'No-Horn' seemed to teleport across the museum hall. In a flurry of blows, she left a broken High Heel on the floor.

"I didn't even get to do my monologue and stick you in my death trap," she groaned before she passed out.

"And that takes care of you," Tempest said, as she dusted her hooves off. She winced to hear a small cough behind her. "Oh, wait, I didn't it again, didn't I?"

"Dear," Rarity said as she trotted up to her. Behind her, High Heel's goons were giving up, shuddering in terror as they looked at Tempest. "I know you learned to fight in situations of life and death, where you had to stop an opponent immediately."

"And I did a very good job," Tempest smiled as she reared above the prostrate villain.

'Uh, yes, but in these stories?" Radiance waved one hoof around at the four-color world about them. "Letting the villain brag and swagger and even win temporarily is part of the fun."

"Yeah," Zapp grumbled as she dropped down with the collected stolen hoofwear. "Yeesh, ya knocked out Pharoah Phetlock before he could unleash his Mummy Horde, ya kicked Smudge into a wall so hard he splattered, and ya punched out Long-Face before he even got to open his mouth!"

"Where does it say I have to let bad guys get the first shot off?" Tempest rolled her eyes as she and the rest the Power Ponies left the museum. The ponies outside cheered to see their heroes. "Besides, I thought the point of these 'Enchanted Comics' was for us to beat the supervillains."

"Well, yeah," Applejack nodded agreement. "But in here ya can have some fun when ya do it Besides, these comics are gettin' more sophisticated. Ya take the story 'off the rails' an they got ways of makin' ya sorry."

"In a Power Ponies comic?" Tempest laughed out loud. "Like what?"

They all froze as the sunlight coming down from above intensified. The heat almost drove them to their knees. At the same time they heard a loud pulsing noise as overhead, a massive spaceship dropped down with an equally massive energy cannon pointed at the city.

"PONIES OF MARETROPOLIS, REJOICE!" The illusion of an almost adult dragon-sized alicorn mare, dressed in black basalt barding and with a coat of crimson fire and a mane and tail of searing flame, appeared from the ship. She boomed her words down to the terrified populace. "I AM NIGHTMARE SUN, AND I HAVE CHOSEN YOUR CITY TO BE AMONG THE FIRST INHABITANTS OF THE NEW SOLAR SYSTEM I MUST CREATE TO REPLACE THE OLD ONE I DESTROYED IN A FIT OF TEMPER! OF COURSE, FIRST I MUST CONVERT YOU INTO MINDLESSLY LOYAL SOLAR ELEMENTALS SO YOU WILL SURVIVE THE PROCEDURE." The citizens began to scream and scatter . "STAND STILL AND THIS WILL ALL BE OVER QUICKLY!"

As everyone ran in terror, Tempest's team-mates all just looked at her.

"Fine," she grumbled. "Next time I'll let the villains brag."

Session 71.25 Grogar-The-Oneser

"Okay, I think I have the link repair." Aria stated.

"You think, or you know," Adagio growled.

"Relax drama queen it should be able to work for the upcoming concert." Aria stated.

"It better, I may be willing to beat them into submission, but I rather we went towards the smooth method first," Adagio growled.

"Relax, nothing will go wrong," Aria stated.

+

"Okay, it cyber defenses may have done some nasty things like changing the wallpaper to a disgusting hue with that discord char playing with a pogo-stick. It may have posted embarrassing photos of me from that christmas party and might have forced me to use that stupid touchpad instead of a proper computer mouse-OW! And I think it just recorded that statement and forwarded it every touchpad user on its mailing list, but we did it." Sunburst stated with a grin.

+

"Did you have fun my dear?" Discord asked.

"Yep, it was fun!"

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 71.0 Ardashir
Session 71.1 Mtangalion, with edits by Alex Warlorn (Continue from Session 70.11)
Session 71.2 Mtangalion, Alex Warlorn, Ardashir
Session 71.3 Ardashir
Session 71.4 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 71.5 Alex Warlorn
Session 71.6 Ardashir
Session 71.7 Mtangalion
Session 71.8 Alex Warlorn
Session 71.9 Zaku789
Session 71.10 Ardashir
Session 71.11 Zaku789
Session 71.12 Zaku789
Session 71.13 All-Overboard
Session 71.14 Kendell2
Session 71.15 Ardashir
Session 71.16 Mtangalion
Session 71.17 Ardashir
Session 71.18 Alex Warlorn
Session 71.19 Mtangalion
Session 71.20 Kendell2
Session 71.21 Kendell2
Session 71.22 Alex Warlorn
Session 71.23 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 71.24 Ardashir
Session 71.25 Grogar-the-oneser

*SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE!*

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Picture by MelodicNarrative, used with permission.

https://indimoon.deviantart.com/art/Princess-Luna-Ogres-and-Oubliettes-670444322

Session 72

Session 72.0 Ardashir

"'Ponyville's First Hot Sauce Contest'?" Starlight blinked at the sign. All about her ponies, and even a few griffons, minotaurs, and other creatures, were signing in on a posted sheet. Past them and hidden by the crowd a figure sat, raking in the bits offered as the entry fee. "'Entry fee ten bits, grand prize 10,000 bits'? Trixie, did you know anything about this?"

"Me!" Her friend set one hoof dramatically to her chest before throwing it across her face, turning away and raising her eyes innocently towards the sky. "Why would Trixie know anything about this contest? Why must a cruel and suspicious world always assume the the Innocent and Distrusted Trixie would be involved with some shady plot?"

She peeked and saw Starlight giving her a tired look. "Not convinced?"

"I can recognize your hoofwriting," Starlight pointed at the sign. "But what do you want with a hot sauce contest?"

"It's not her, stripes, it's me." The voice came from the table. The crowd was now dispersed, some of them excitedly talking about how they hoped to do in the contest.

Starlight looked and blinked. "Garble? I thought you were at the summit with Lady Ember."

"Yeah, right," Garble jerked one thumb over his shoulder. "My hoard is what's there, so Ember and those other wuss dragons she took along can sleep at night. I mean, one of them is a librarian! What do dragons need to know about history other than we're great and everyone else is a loser?"

"Which explains your rousing successes of late," Starlight said. To her surprise Garble didn't lose his temper like he normally did whenever draconic superiority was questioned.

"Yeah, well, now I'll prove it. And I'm gonna get rich again too." Garble smiled as he reached under the table and dragged out a large stone tablet. What looked like wedge-tipped lines had been carved into it. He triumphantly thrust a claw at it. "That's, like, one of the oldest pieces of dragon cuneiform. It tells how dragons learned how ta restore their fire if they ever lost it. It's never left the Dragonlands before." He shuddered. "Uh, not that I ever lost my fire, heh. Anyway, it's also how to make the hottest hot sauce ever devised by mortal hands." Garble grinned. "I'll make that stuff up, win the contest, keep the entry fees AND the big prize. I win!"

"Wait," Trixie asked. "What 'big prize'? You just said you'd lost your hoard. Also, Trixie would like to be paid for making that sign in the first place."

"The big prize I was gonna pay with the bits I collected for the entry fee, duh." Garble waved his claw dismissively as he walked around the table and started bagging up the bits. "Geeze, how dumb are ya?" He started to walk away, but Trixie got in his way. She coughed meaningfully and held her hat out. "Fine," Garble grumbled and tossed some bits into her hat. Trixie swiftly put it back on. "Anyway, I gotta gather the ingredients. There an active volcano anywhere around here?"

"Wait a minute," Starlight got in front of Garble. She eyed the tablet warily. "You say that's one of the oldest pieces of dragon history and culture in existence? And Ember let you just walk off with it for a hot sauce contest?"

"Hey, are you accusing me of stealing it?" Garble huffed. "Because I totally didn't! I'm just, uh, borrowing it. Temporarily. Without letting the other dragons know about it. Anyway, I'm the dragon diplomat, so I'm not in any trouble." Something large flew overhead, casting a gigantic shadow. It was so high up neither Trixie or Starlight could identify it. Garble seemed to turn pale. "Whoops! Heh, gotta run and set everything up!" He snatched up the bits and the tablet and hurried off.

Starlight and Trixie looked at each other.

"You know something's going to go wrong."

"Of course Trixie knows," the showmare said before she trotted in the direction of the town's popcorn shop with a smile. "Which is why Trixie wants to be ready for the free entertainment when it does!"

Session 72.1 Mtangalion

Scootaloo buzzed her wings, floating up just enough to see Trixie's sign over the crowd. "Hey girls, look at that!"

"Wow..." Sweetie Belle rubbed her chin with a hoof. "We could do all sorts of things for our new Cutie Mark Counseling service with ten thousand bits! Hey, Apple Bloom, you know some Apple family recipes for some really hot chili, don't you?"

Apple Bloom grinned. "Hot enough to tan a hog's hide at twenty paces! Hang on a sec, though..." She trotted up to Garble, who had just returned with a sack full of ingredients. "Say, don't ya need a thousand people entering your contest, just to get the bits to pay off that ten thousand bit grand prize?"

Scootaloo blinked. "There's no way a contest in Ponyville would be that popular, so... you're planning on taking a loss? Wow, you're the most generous dragon I've ever heard of!"

"Sh- shut up!" shouted Garble, cringing. "I don't need any of your sissy math to pull off my awesome plan." He stomped away, then looked back uncertainly, counting the ponies and other creatures in line to sign up for the contest. "Seven, eight..." He realized that he was out of claws to count on. "Um... eight and one, eight and two, eight and five... "

"Three," said Apple Bloom helpfully.

"I knew that!" roared Garble. "Stop following me!"

Session 72.2 Alex Warlorn

"Oh Master! I hope I can do everything to make you happy!" Rainbow Dash said, blushing and with sparkles in her eyes, the maid uniform looked good on her, Zephyr Breeze had to admit.

"I know you will darling, I know you will!"

"Ah know Ah'll make ya happy master!" Applejack smiled and nodded confidently.

"I already have a schedule all prepared to make sure the estate is run to best efficiency!" Said Twilight Sparkle the Alicorn.

"I'll be sure to make you and the house as fabulous as you want master!" Rarity coo'ed.

"I'm an idiot, hit me in the face with a pie," Spike said.

"I love making you happy master! Tee-hee!" Maid Pinkie Pie giggled.

"I, um, I hope that I can help you be happy too master..." Maid Fluttershy said.

"ICK! So wrong!" He took out a book and quickly scrawled through it. Fluttershy vanished and the other forget she'd even been there. "Much better!"

"He's playing WHAT?!" Rainbow Dash said, breathing fire.

"This is a travesty! This is wrong! This is criminal... WHY IS NOT TRIXIE IN THIS GAME?!"

"Apparently you, Starlight, Maud Pie, and 'Eris', are all expansion pack characters," Twilight Sparkle said reading the description of the 'Maid Simulator'.

"LET ME IN THERE!" Rainbow Dash roared as her friends held her back.

"Do you REALLY WANNA SEE what Fluttershy's brother is doing in there with a pretend version of you?" Applejack asked.

Rainbow Dash turned green with disgust, then grinned demonically. "Let's burn it with him inside."

"Doesn't work that way, and the spell would automatically eject everypony inside at the first sign of danger, and if the comic was destroyed, he'd just pop back into this world unarmed," Twilight explained.

"Rats."

Spike asked, "Can we change the settings to make the maids personalities more... authentic, from outside and teach him a lesson?"

"Not while the game is in session."

"Rats."

Session 72.3 Grogar-the-oneser

"I'm more curious as to how the devil those developers made a game using our images," Starlight muttered. "You would think they be afraid of lawsuits."

"According to this copyright, they got permission from our agent," Twilight stated.

"What agent, I don't have a agent!" Rainbow Dash said.

"This could only mean one of two things..." Starlight stated.

"Well one of those things better not be Trixie cause she would have demanded to be a main character, not some lousy expansion pack," Trixie snapped.

"Okay one thing, one of us must have met some lawyer type and we got tricked into getting rich quick."

"That's ridiculous, no one tha-" Twilight pause as she looked at Spike who began to whistle innocently. "You didn't."

"Okay I know this looks bad but once we get money to buy some stuff back from Flim and Flam URK!" Spike squeaked as Rainbow grabbed him

"FLUTTERSHY'S BROTHER IS DOING WHO KNOWS WHAT WITH IMAGINARY ME CAUSE YOU COULDN'T CONTROL WANTING REVENGE ON THOSE TWO IDIOTS!" Rainbow roared.

"Well at least one tiny good thing came out of this," Fluttershy stated.

"WHAT! What good thing came out of this!" Rainbow snapped letting go of Spike (Who quickly hid behind Twilight).

"He's the product tester for this, so if he leaves a bad enough review, they may have to cancel this project," Fluttershy stated.

"... OH!" Everypony stated. most of the mares had an evil grin on their faces as they waited for Fluttershy's brother to come out of the book.

Session 72.4 Mtangalion

Rainbow Dash, Tempest Shadow, and Trixie stood in a line, staring glassy-eyed at nothing and swaying to the beat of Aria's soft, entrancing song. When Aria finished, she couldn't help but grin and stroke her restored gemstone yet again. "Okay, that'll take care of these three for a while, but how do we stop Princess Twilight and Nerd Twilight from ruining everything? You know they won't just sit around when we have one of their friends."

Adagio finished typing something on the laptop and smacked the enter key. "I have just the thing for them. Get a load of this!"

The moment Aria walked away, Sonata popped up in front of the mesmerized new sirens. "Hi there!" she whispered, waving. Dash, Tempest, and Trixie copied her wave, moving in unison. "Oooh." Sonata made funny faces, and they did that too... and stuck their thumbs in their ears and wiggled their fingers... and hopped on one foot...

Then she saw the loyalty geode around Dash's neck. "Huh, what's that?" She grabbed it and squinted at it. "Hmm!" She tried squeezing it in her fist, then rubbing it like a genie's lamp. "C'mon..." Then she licked the geode, and it sent a magical charge through her tongue that knocked her flat.

Adagio and Aria glanced up, but quickly dismissed it as Sonata being Sonata.

"Stupid thing!" Sonata opened the locker room door and threw the geode out as hard as she could.

Ember the dog was trotting near the CHS athletic fields, looking all around and whining a bit. "How did I get here? Which way is home? I'm lonesome, where's mistress Gilda?"

Then a shiny rock thing came bouncing across the lawn and bonked her nose before falling back into the grass. "Huh?!" She pawed at it, then grinned, wagging her tail. "New toy!"

But then Winona came back, growling and barking, still mad about Dash trying to make them fight. She grabbed the shiny in her teeth first and ran off with it!

"Hey, that shiny rock is mine!" barked Ember. "You bring it back! Bad dog!" She realized what she'd said, face-pawed, and chased after Winona.

Gilda folded her arms, watching both Twilights strapping their VR eyepatches back on. "I still say you're nuts. Your great big smarty-brains have finally lost it."

Human Twilight shook her head. "It's a risk, yes, but it's the best plan we could come up with. Starlight and Sunburst stay in the van and hack the VR network any way they can. Rarity, AJ, and the others confront the Sirens inside the school... and we defeat the source of the corruption, inside the virtual world."

Princess Twilight pumped a fist. "You were able to fight back, so we should be able to do it too, now that we know what's going on. Nothing will stand in our way."

Human Twilight suddenly gulped, staring at something that didn't exist in the real world. "Unless... there's snakes!" She screamed, pointing. "Like that giant snake boss!"

Princess Twilight screamed too, clinging to her twin. "WORSE! It's a giant snake MADE OF SNAKES!"

"SNAAAAAKES!" Both Twilight Sparkles looked like they might faint on the spot.

Gilda smacked her forehead. "Would you two stop being a bunch of babies?!" She pulled on her own VR eyepatch and let it snap into place.

At once, she saw the Twilights in their fantasy adventure armor, and the snake monster slithering closer. "So, you dweebs aren't going to try to make friends with it? No? Heh, good. Hammer!" A satisfyingly heavy two-handed war mace settled into her hands. Roaring with a volume that impressed even herself, she charged in, swinging.

The Twilights clung to each other again, yelping as the hammer went WHACK-WHACK-WHACK-WHAM and little snakes went flying everywhere. Princess Twilight blinked. "Gilda! You... you're..."

"Yeah, yeah, I know I'm awesome." Gilda smirked and shouldered the hammer. "Well, come on, let's go help Dash!"

"Gilda, look at yourself," blurted out Human Twilight.

"Ehh?" Gilda looked at her hands... her yellow-scaled and clawed hands, and nearly dropped the hammer. She patted her face and "felt" a beak, too. Her VR game avatar had completely changed into some kind of bipedal griffon wearing a chain-mail bikini. "Hey, what gives!?" she squawked at the sky. "Can I get something with a little more protection here?"

"Okay!" Screwball giggled, typing up a storm.

Gilda's outfit morphed into nice sturdy armor that still left her wings and finger and toe-claws free. "Yeah, now we're talking." She leveled her hammer at the dark fortress in front of them, full of orcs, timber wolves, quesadilla monsters, and all the other players that they had to save from getting mind-warped. "Let's do this!"

Session 72.5 Ardashir

"Grubber? Grubber!" Tempest snorted annoyance as she walked into the game room of Twilight's castle. A small purple dragon was there, whistling as he cleaned up the table. "Spike!"

"Wha! Huh, oh, it's you Tempest." He dropped down off the table and walked over to her, his claws clicking against the crystal floor. "What's up?"

"Nothing in particular," Tempest looked around the room as she spoke. "I've just been looking for Grubber. Ever since he heard about that contest that lizard Garble is putting on, he wanted to become one of the judges." She tossed her mane. "Maybe I should let him enter with the last few crates of Storm King Hot Sauce just to use that horrible-tasting junk up."

"Wait, the Storm King had his own hot sauce?" Tempest just looked at him. Spike faceclawed. "Oh, yeah, right. He copyrighted everything else he could. No, I haven't seen Grubber." He scratched his scaly chin. "Huh, or Garble either, not for hours. He said he had to get ready for the contest. But here in Ponyville, how much trouble could they be in?"

And down in the deepest basement/dungeon of the Friendship Palace?

The cat-sized brain monsters clawed madly at the bars of their cell, desperate for escape, somehow conveying the impression of unspeakable agony even though they couldn't speak. The skull of Poncererak was beating itself against the wall in a frenzy of self-destruction.

"Enough! Enough!" It shrieked. "The torments of Tartarus were preferable to this! The STENCH!"

"Ah, shut up, you wimps!" An apron-wearing Garble stood at the center of the room, beside a cauldron filled with a bubbling something that looked like tar and smelled like sheer agony. Next to it, Grubber fought helplessly against the ropes that bound him to a chair. A table sat nearby, laden with spices and cooking utensils. Garble said, "How else am I supposed ta know if I got the recipe right?"

He stuck a fork into the cauldron's contents and heaved something that looked like a chunk of semi-molten tar onto the plate he held. The plate began to melt.

Garble smiled hideously. He turned to Grubber.

"Okay, Shorty, open wide! Time for the fifteenth taste test of the day!"

Garble couldn't understand what Grubber was screaming.

"I WANNA FACE THE ANGRY MOTHERS OF EQUESTRIA INSTEAD!"

Session 72.6 Alex Warlorn

Adagio sniggered, "Those five humans and two pretty little princesses could barely beat the three of us... let's see how they do against an ARMY of sirens! After this boss, it'll be time for the bigger event... a song with out new sisters and brothers across town to bring it under our control, and we'll spread from there."

"It will be nice to have a bigger family to help us take over the world, imagine the sleep overs!" Sonata said happily.

The sirens had never feared armies, it was a trivial point when you could get soldiers to attack each other on the spot, and the vast majority of ponies (and humans) had no idea how their powers even worked, so it wasn't exactly common knowledge to just cover your ears... and the sirens were hardly helpless against the deaf.

"Hey big sister... how did you know Twilight Sparkle was scared of snakes?" Sonata asked.

"It does seem like a big plot hole Adagio," Blaze added.

"Nothing of the sort... remember all those times we visited the pony world?" Adagio held up a copy of the friendship journal of the mane six that had been available at any book store. "I didn't even need to sneak into her room and read her diary like I was planning on doing!"

Adagio opened to a specific page and spoke in a mockery of Twilight's voice, "Snakes! Snaaakes!" Adagio burst out laughing.

Session 72.7 Mtangalion

In the open field where Ponyville ponies usually set up their market stalls, the official Ponyville Hot Stuff contest was finally underway... and Princess Twilight was shaking her head. "I'm sorry. I don't think I can let you enter this dragon hot sauce in the contest."

"What?!" roared Garble. "YOU can't let me enter my hot sauce in MY contest? Who put you in charge?!"

Twilight glanced away, fluttering her wings sheepishly. "Actually, I did, since the contest had nearly a hundred signups, and despite me giving you numerous hints, you showed no interest in arranging a venue, hiring judges, ruling on whether chili could be entered as well as hot sauce, or anything else but collecting the entry fees, really." She beamed. "But that's okay! I like organizing."

Garble stamped a scaly foot, trying to look big and intimidating, not that it seemed to phase Twilight much. "Aww, but I have to enter it! Just because some ponies are too wussy to handle real hot sauce..."

Twilight coughed. "Well..."

She was interrupted by a small commotion... Grubber was waddling towards them, tossing aside a hospital gown that had gotten shredded on his quills anyway.

"Sir, you really should stay in the hospital burn ward," said Nurse Redheart, hot on his heels.

"No, no, I'm fine!" said Grubber. "I'm sure I have it all out of my system now." Suddenly, the hedgehog hiccuped, cheeks bulging. "Oh stormking no not again!" Then he belched purple flames, setting part of the lawn merrily ablaze.

Nurse Redheart rolled her eyes and started putting the fire out with a magic-nulling fire extinguisher.

Mr. Cake, Big Macintosh, Zecora, and Cranky Doodle, all wearing judging ribbons, froze. "Garble's entry is #13," said Twilight helpfully. They hastily pushed the tungsten metal bowls away.

Garble smacked his own forehead hard enough to chip stone, but "lucky" for him, his head was harder than that. "Gahhh! This is so not fair!"

"Don't worry," said Twilight. "We can put your entry in a special category... like the meat chili... which you also should have known was a thing, and either unambiguously excluded or otherwise addressed in the contest rules."

Twilight pointed a hoof, drawing Garble's attention to a gathering that was extraordinary even by Ponyville standards. Gustave le Grand, Rover the diamond dog, Iosef from Icehome, that griffon chef with the apron from Ponyville's meat restaurant, and... a chimera?! ... were enthusiastically tasting samples of chili from each other's cook-pots.

"I should have moved them further away," mused Princess Twilight. "The smell is making ponies turn green who aren't normally green every time the wind shifts. On the bright side, Rover and Iosef have completely forgotten that they really don't like each other! I might have to make you a stained glass window for finally discovering something that diamond dogs and wolves can start building peaceful common ground on!"

Garble slumped. "Can I sell it for bits? I think I'm gonna need them to pay the grand prize."

Twilight chuckled. "We can discuss..." She blinked at the judging table. "Wait, that's only four bowls of #13. Where's... Oh no! Princess Celestia! Don't taste... that?"

"Oh my goodness!" exclaimed Princess Celestia, gasping for air, sweating and fanning herself with a hoof. "That's... that's hot!" Her Guards watched in horror and awe as Celestia, the elder Alicorn Princess, Sun Who Is the Sun... stuck her head in a tub of water and gulped half of it down, steam coming out of her ears. "This hot sauce is amazing!" she exclaimed, when she surfaced again. "I must have the recipe! I'll pay a thousand bits from my personal funds for it. No, ten thousand!"

Garble went looking for something harder to bang his head against.

Session 72.8 Ardashir

The door to the Dazzlings' current apartment, a top-rate loft in the best part of town, slowly opened. Rarity smiled and strolled in.

"Amazing what you can still do with a hairpin, isn't it?"

"ADAGIO! SONATA AND ARIA!" Sunset stormed in, her friends close behind her -- all save the increasingly uncooperative Dash, who they'd left behind with some sushi takeout and a TV political talk show on to keep her happy. Sunset looked around the main room. "You're up to something. We're not sure what, but..." Her voice trailed off.

"Dears," Rarity walked in and looked around. "Is it just me, or do the Dazzlings appear to be out?" Her mouth twisted in disgust when she saw some of the art hanging on the walls. It was all either scenes of historical violence and mayhem, or bizarre sea life of the oceanic trenches. One especially grisly piece of art showed a dead pirate on the ocean floor being eaten by crabs. Rarity shuddered. "Lovely taste in art."

"Gee, I thought they'd be here for the big fight," Pinkie Pie stepped onto the kitchen and opened the fridge. A horrendous stench of rotting fish rolled out. Pinkie turned a livid green and quickly closed it. "That's what the villains in Dashie's comics always do."

"Girls, let's remember, we're not sure if the Dazzlings are even doing anything wrong yet," Sunset reminded them. "We're not cops, all we can do is to let them know we're keeping an eye on them."

"Doggone it," Applejack grumbled. She stepped over to a low couch and dropped down on it. "Here we are, all ready for what might be a big show-down an' they ain't even here. Wonder where they're at, anyhow?"

Fluttershy reached down and picked a piece of folded paper up off a table. "Uh, maybe this will tell us?"

Sunset took the paper and read it. "'To the taco delivery guy, my sisters and I are going to our holiday volunteer work at the mall. We love Christmas so much.' They do?"

"Aww!" Pinkie smiled in innocent delight. "Maybe they really ARE turning over a new leaf!"

The HuMane Six, er, Five looked at each other. Might they have been wrong about the Dazzlings?

***

"THAT'S MINE YOU HARPY!"

"HANDS OFF! MY KIDS HAVE BEEN BUGGING ME FOR ONE OF THESE FOR WEEKS!" The second parent roared at the first, sending them stumbling into a pile of teddy bears with a shove. They yanked the 'Windy the Singing Windigo' toy away, only to yell as a third parent snatched it from their hands.

"I SAY IT'S MINE! WANNA MAKE SOMETHING OF IT?"

Watching from a mall customer service booth nearby, the Dazzlings looked on in utter delight. The half a dozen Windy toys they'd bought for later private resale at exorbitant prices sat at their feet, out of sight.

"I can't eat it yet but I can feel it," Aria groaned in pleasure. Looking like she'd swallowed something vile, she said, "I hate to admit it, Sonata, but this WAS a great idea you had."

Sonata didn't respond. She looked blissed out, munching on a taco in one hand, while breathing in the atmosphere of greed and rage all around them.

Adagio simply cupped her new amulet at her throat as she bent to the microphone.

"Remember, everyone, no more Windy the Singing Windigo shipments until after the holiday, so if you want one for your beloved children, better get it now." As the battle redoubled in intensity, Adagio nearly purred in delight.

"What a wonderful holiday. It should be like this all years long."

Session 72.9 Grogar-the-oneser

(I have to wonder why they would be able to eat if the amulet singing power wasn't being use so i came up with this.)

5 hour earlier

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU AIN'T SHARING!" Adagio roared. The windigo just snorted "Yes your arguably doing all the work due to us using totems of you as a midway to feast, but come on, as a creature who also eats hatred, shouldn't we look out for one another."

the windigo whinnied "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU BELIEVE IN SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST!?"

"Ohh let me try!" Sonata said before clearing her throat. "Great windigo, I know you hate sharing, I don't like sharing my taco with others either but think of it this way, we're the lowly delivery guy, you paid us and you get to eat the smorgasbord, all we ask are the leftovers."

"There no way-" The windigo whinnied "WHAT! You agree after hearing that!" Adagio snapped. "Ugh fine whatever. As long as I can use my amulet to chow down I don't care."

Session 72.10 Kendell2

"Wait, you want that much Fruitcake?" asked Mrs. Cake, eyes wide.

Pinkie's friend Minty nodded. "Yep!"

"Alright, dear, but why exactly? We have trouble selling them," the mare replied as her husband began packing it up.

"Well I don't really like it, but my friend December Poinsettia LOVES fruitcake! It's her favorite kind..." the mint green pony explained, then noticed the expression that got her. "No, really! She is!"

"Alright...well, I can't complain..."

"Santa Simulator?" asked Rainbow Dash, raising an eyebrow nearby as they prepared to play an RPG.

"Yep! We have to keep track of if ponies are naughty or nice, make sure to make their gift, and so on," Pinkie Pie explained. "Pretty cool, huh!" she replied, as Minty pulled over a cart full of Fruitcakes.

OOC: Based off a G3 Pony named December Poinsettia who's bio card literally says 'Favorite Kind of Cake: Fruitcake (No, really!).'

http://mylittlewiki.org/wiki/File:Decemberpoinsettiacard.jpg

Session 72.11 Alex Warlorn

"Did you have to break out that Risk set with a map of town? Even I think we're counting our chickens before they hatch. Remember, the last time trouble showed up to ruin our golden opportunity, it was right went we sang 'nothing can stop us now.' It's like those words are jinxed!" Aria Blazed snorted seeing Sonata play with the risk pieces and she pushed them about the town map.

"Don't worry, our final grand even is planned at midnight on new years," Adagio said, "By then, we'll have reached maximum saturation with our new sirens, and we'll have our final boss... of course he'll be unbeatable... but that'll be besides the point. Our new little sisters will swarm this town, and then this country, and then the world." Adagio said proudly.

"Not worry about atomic bombs?"

"We're immortal again remember? They nuke themselves, and we'll rule over the radiated wasteland as goddesses as the only ones who can organize civilization back together, and even those who resist us will be forced to begrudgingly follow us! We'll rule the entire county by the end of the day, and most will won't even realize it. And by then our sisters will feed on their own success."

What they didn't know was the AI Screwball had added an Event to make the Final Boss, Dra-Gon, only insanely hard to defeat, rather than utterly impossible.

Speaking of which, Screwball, doing what she did best, found that the hero character Sonambula (that human Starlight Glimmer has chosen as her hero character) was overwhelmingly under-powered compared to the selectable heroes... definitely in need of rebalancing...

Session 72.12 Mtangalion

Two young dragon warriors faced each other across a barren rocky plain. Bit by bit the tension mounted, the ever-gusting wind the only sound...

"This is stupid!" shouted Garble, his words faint at this distance in the dusty air. "Why aren't we fighting yet?"

Spike exhaled sharply, losing his heroic glare of impending battle. "Oh, come on, Garble! It's a Dragon Egg enchanted comic battle game! We can't just start fighting without the staredown!"

Garble shook his head, claws on hips. "Hah, so much for you being such a smarty-dragon. The staredown is just to fill up pages so some pathetic old pony artist can be lazy. Do like I do and flip the pages until you see dudes punching each other!"

Spike smirked, rolling his eyes. "Guess we're into the trash-talking phase now."

Garble grinned, clenching a fist. "Hey Spike, I'll let you in a little secret. I skip that part too!" Roaring, the red drake sprang... flickered, moving faster than mere pony eyes could see... flickered again, right on top of Spike with his fist drawn back to punch...

Spike growled and braced himself, clawed feet punching footholds into solid stone as he deflected the blow. Garble's concussive blast flew past Spike and caused multiple explosions along the ground, culminating in a twenty foot wide boulder in the distance splitting clean in half and falling apart.

Garble gawked, then sprang back. "You... you must have cheated somehow! There's totally no way your puny baby dragon body can hold as much battle magic as mine can!"

Spike grinned smugly, puffing his small chest out. "Don't bother using your scouter, Garble. My battle magic level is over nine thousand."

Garble clenched both fists, shaking. "Like I care!" He crouched and grunted, gathered more battle magic until a flaming gold aura ignited around him. "You're just lying anyway, and even if you're not, I can power up way higher than that! I'm gonna turn you into a dragon pancake!"

Spike grinned all the more, baring his fangs. "Show me. If you can." Then he clenched his fists and snarled too, explosively gaining a green battle aura. The ground shook and crumbled around the mighty dragon fighters, small stones beginning to levitate into the air.

"Spike! Garble!" said the voice of Princess Twilight, echoing down from the clouds. "Dinner's almost ready! Pinkie made gem casserole."

Spike groaned. "Twilight, can't it wait a few more minutes? We're almost to the part where we actually fight!"

"Yeah!" echoed Garble. "This is a fight between men... or dragons or something, and weak sissy mares should butt out!"

Spike's jaw dropped. "Dude.... You shouldn't have said that."

Garble laughed uproariously. "Pfft. What's your prissy pony princess gonna do? Give me a friendship lesson?!"

A thunderbolt slammed into the ground not thirty feet away, and a purple mare in a martial arts gi rose up, balancing on her hind hooves. Twilight smirked. "Have I told you how Shiny and I used to play this game... all... the.... time?" Her battle magic ignited, turning her mane silver and blowing away every bit of dust and cloud for miles around. "I don't want dinner to get cold, boys, so I'm going to make this quick."

It was all Spike and Garble could do to not get blown away themselves, from her battle magic aura alone. Spike gulped. "Hey, Garble? Do you think we stand a chance if we team up against her?"

Garble grinned. "Get real, Spike, she's totally gonna hand us our butts... but I'm getting excited anyway!" He bumped fists with Spike, and they roared and charged, together!

Session 72.13 Kendell2

The Mane Six had decided to play Darkest Oubliettes (a decision they often regretted). In part because some expansions had come out...and Fizzlepop had wanted to try it out.

"Wow, and I thought my life was depressing," was her reaction.

The quest they'd gone on had gone a bit longer than expected. It was a venture into the warrens to get three grain sacks for the townspeople from these pig ponies used in the ancestor's experiments (Fluttershy worried about stealing from them, but was reminded they ate ponies).

They did manage to accomplish that, by two in the morning, but as no pony had anything to do, they decided to do another small mission. They decided on a short quest to the evil mushroom infested forest with mushroom zombies and other monstrosities. They were well on their way when...

"Wait..." Rainbow Dash said. "Twilight...did you say that boomer crop event happened?"

"Yes..." Twilight replied.

Said event meant everything bought for the next adventure was free...they'd gotten the bar necessities and were too tired to realize it until then.

"..." Rainbow promptly slammed her head into the table.

The 'little' quest ended with a Crusader having a disease and two others insane.

"...Ah think we'd best get to bed..." said Applejack as Rainbow beat her head on the table.

"Dang it, this game is hard..." said Spike, a young purple dragon on the screen fighting ape-like monsters while trying to stop the resurrection of the 'Dark Master'. The fact the protagonist was a very important and special purple dragon totally had nothing to do with it.

"What was that pink thing you left in the last room?" asked Twilight.

"Eh, some collectible. Probably unlocks concept art or something," replied the baby dragon. "That's what the quills do."

Twilight looked at the instruction manual. "...Spike?"

"Yeah?"

"That was an HP up..."

Spike's eyes went wide. "W-What?"

"The green ones are mana ups too."

The baby dragon stared in shock, it slowly occurring to him that after the boss he was fighting now, the final level was all that there was left, meaning he only had one of each he could find.

"...Okay, I'm going to go get some soap," Twilight replied after seeing and hearing Spike's reaction.

OOC: Based off some gaming fumbles me and Alex had.

Session 72.14 Alex Warlorn

"Geeze... The Equestria Server is like a ghost town today," said Thorax in his Faux-NPC character, finding the virtual town of Ponyville effectively deserted.

Vice President of Crystal Soft games punched in a number on her cell phone.

"Yes mother?" Came the rough voice on the other end.

"A very big mess is going around here. Those three girls who hired are up to something and I don't like being in the dark. Get me a status update of what's going... find out what the hell is going on around here. I don't care stupid or insane it sounds."

"Is this about that 'magic horses' stuff?"

"Giant lasers don't shoot up into the sky on their own. I don't care if it's Martians or Canadians, find out."

"Yes mother."

Session 72.15 Mtangalion

Adapted from an idea that Ardashir and SomeRandomMinion were kicking around. Feel free to add more. :)

Princess Twilight stared at the scene in the Cutie Map room, already starting to twitch. "I'm sorry, could you repeat that? It sounded like you said you're playing ‘Pezuñas: The Hooves of Fate'"

Starlight grinned nervously. "Um, maybe?"

Spike stumbled across the crystal table, humming a haunting and very repetitive tune while trying not to giggle. "Allow me to... carry your luggage, Miss... Rarity! I take... care of the place while... the Prince is away!"

Applejack rolled the dice. "Hey, Ah saw that Prince first. Ah hit Rarity over the head with my pillow again!"

Rainbow Dash kicked back in her throne, putting her hooves up on the table. "Me too. She totally has it coming."

Rarity gasped in mock-horror. "Why, I never! Spike, you'll help me pummel those ruffians, won't you?"

Spike raised a fist, ready to leap to her defense. "You can count on me, Rarity! Um, just as soon as I get there. I can only walk two and a half feet per turn for some reason."

"You do know that Celestia banished the writer and the director to the moon, right?" deadpanned Twilight. "And that performing Pezuñas is a banishing-to-the-moon offense? The law is still on the books."

"Ah, but technically we're playing Pezuñas: The Hooves of Fate: The RPG!" countered Starlight. "Totally different! Although, the game might have gone off the rails just a little bit." She turned and shouted at a different table off in the corner. "Any time you guys want to join us in the mysterious haunted adventure mansion, that'd be great!"

"Eenope, we're good," said Big Mac, going right back to shamelessly kissing with Miss Cheerilee.

Twilight's eyes widened, and she turned away, blushing. "That's it, I'm out of here."

"There is no way out of here!" called Spike, hopping down from the table and lurching into her path. "It'll be dark soon. There is no way..." Twilight teleported away, leaving the young dragon without an audience. "Except for that."

Session 72.16 Alex Warlorn

"Starlight... did you really have to do this?" Sunburst asked... Currently a rather handsome looking golden dragon with orange fins.

Starlight, a violet dragon with purple fins and a teal highlight just smiled. "Now now Sunburst, I promised that I wasn't going to turn us into foals, and you agreed to try out my magically enhanced Dragon Pit game."

"I thought you meant Dragon Pit with real dragons."

"Hey lady! I knew never notice how hot you look!" Garble declared.

"I've seen Rarity as a dragon, she's much hotter." Spike protested. True, Mina, Ember and Rarity had been giant sized and going off greed growth as they wrestled for him at the time, but Spike could still appreciate Rarity's beauty.

"Meh! Ponies have the power to upgrade their species and decide to go back to being four hooves grass eaters? I knew they were lame, but not THAT lame!"

"Well, you didn't ask, so there. Besides, it's not like this spell has disrupted the space time continuum or something."

Everydragon held their breath, nothing happened.

"See?"

Reminded Spike of when Sweetie told him about how the CMC tried to INVOKE Discord to turn them into their King of Canterlot giant monster board game characters.

"Well, since you brought that up, some instruments I borrowed from Doctor Whooves have pointed to time becoming convoluted with the flow of time in reality and the reality Sunset Shimmer lives have going in and out of sync randomly, speeding up, slowing down, events stopping and starting... I'm worried that somepony or someTHING has disrupted the time space continuum to such a degree that our whole universe and NEIGHBORING UNIVERSES will implode!"

"Not me this time," Starlight said in total honesty and factual correctness.

-

"Adagio... would you kill me if I ever tried to turn good?" Aria asked. It felt like their pendants were beginning to quiver with power, and all thanks to that stupid little mirror turned magical by some leaking magic from Equestria.

"Yes... and I know you'd do the same!" Adagio said with pride and endearment.

The two sirens hugged.

"Nice to know we've got each other's back to this 'redemption' nonsense that ponies and humans are obsessed with." Adagio smiled warmly at her sister.

"I wouldn't turn good on you girls either!" Sonata said, "Not even for a taco! Well, maybe-"

"If you finish that sentence with 'two tacos' Sonata, you can feed off the bad vibes of bickering old married couples."

"But that tastes so stale and shallow!"

"Good we understand each other."

Session 72.17 Alex Warlorn

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filly_Funtasia

= RPG Ambiance Fantasy #03 INTO THE DEPTHS OF DUNGEON - 2 hours in a Dark Castle =

A powerful wind blew Rose's windows open, the invading gale knocking over her figurines and flying her notes everywhere. The banging of the shutters also woke her out. The unicorn got out of bed.

"Oh no... " Rose shook her head. Her mini-figures of the humans fighting Adagio's sirens were scattered all over the floor. Rose took a step forward in the arm, only to hear something snap under her hooves. "Worse oh no," Rose sighed in dismay. She magically pick up the now broken figurine of Flash Sentry.

-

"AGH!"

"Flash you okay?" the Rarity asked.

"Lyra, she broke my arm..." Flash grunted.

The corrupted Note Worthy floated to the sirenized Lyra and Bon Bon, "Hey Lyra, room for one more?"

-

"My notes... they're totally out of order... " The other table for the Equestria campaign didn't look much better... She'd completely lost her miniatures for half the changelings before. Another harsh wind trespassed in her room making things more a mess, Rose shivered.

She heard the howl of wind, the patter of rain, and the crack of thunder, and a dark rumbling. She went to her window to look out at the storm. She was shocked to see everything outside seemed to be freezing over! The rain turning to ice as it hit the ground. Colors slowly fading before her eyes.

-

"Twilight," Pinkie the pony asked. "Do you think a story world only exists while you're reading it? Or does it just continue on its own? Do you think, erm-" She got that look from Twilight. "-I mean, IF our characters in our O&O campaign, which we've really been neglecting lately, if we stop playing, or just forget about it, and don't even finish an ending for the adventure we're on... are they just... frozen in place? Do they continue without us? Or do that just... fade away?"

Session 72.17 Kendell2

Adagio laughed maniacally as they waited on New Years for their endgame. "It's almost showtime, you girls ready?"

The other two Sirens smirked. "You know it."

"Okay, are you girls SURE it's now or never time?" asked AJ.

"This is the last boss," Princess Twilight said, looking at the email. "I don't know when they'd do it otherwise..."

The players, corrupted and otherwise, assembled for the final boss. Naturally, bickering and fighting had broken out.

Suddenly, the curtains opened on a stage set up, and out walked the three Sirens onto the stage. "Hello everybody! Are you ready for the final boss?!" asked Adagio, getting cheers. "Then let's do it..." she said, putting on her enhanced necklace, her sisters doing the same and their new pendents fully forming.

= Welcome to the Show (Remix) - itsannachloem =

The monsters began to spawn and the fighting began...

And the sirens began to sing their signature long note, red colored digitized lightning crackling around them.

"Welcome to the show...
We're here to let you know...
The end is now...
Play time is running out..." Adagio sang, the lightning crackling more intensely before a massive beam of it erupted into the sky and turned the clouds into a storm like one would see at sea as the Sirens continued to sing their wordless vocals.

"Feel the wave of sound!
As it crashes down!" the Sirens sang, sending up a soundwave...that quickly multiplied into a TIDAL wave of red music before crashing down on the players and radiating outwards across the entire town.

In their rooms (grounded at this point) the CMC gasped, eyes glowing red.

"Sirens here to stay!
Come and see things our way!" the trio sang, energy erupting from their gems...and gems forming on all those ready for the siren transformation as well, energy quickly erupting from their gems as well. The convert's all got the same cocoons the origin three got 'Sirening up', the same happening all across town, but the original three got grid pattern style cocoons with digitized lines running through them.

The mane six (or five, given Rainbow wasn't on their side at the moment) skid to a stop with their group and gasped.

"...CRUD!" Gilda exclaimed.

"We're too late!" both Twilight's exclaimed.

"Time to be adored!
Come and be just like us!
You won't be ignored!
It's time for our reward!" sung the original three...

"Now you're need us...
Come and heed us..." sang the REST of the new converts along with them.

"Come bow before us now!" the school of Sirens sang, the mane six having to actively SHIELD their allies from the spell now as the sirens sang more...

The lesser Siren's cocoons shattered off like glass, revealing all of them with pony ears, longer 'pony tail' hair, siren wings, and glowing red eyes, all smirking with fangs.

"Let your freedom go...
And let our school grow...
Throw thought away,
And fight all day..." sang the school.

"Now we have in store,
All we want and more,
Free from the abyss,
Now it's time to finish this!"

The cocoons finally broke open, waves of digitized lightning crackling over everything to reveal the original three Sirens in their 'Siren Up' forms...before the lightning imploded inward before exploding once again, revealing the trio in high tech, menacing looking dresses pulsing with power in tron lines. Their fin-like wings spread out before wireframe, spiked wings extended from them, giving the trio an appearance of digital demons.

"Now we're in control,
You apes can't resist us,
Now the abyss opens to swallow you whole!
You can't stop us!
You're beneath us!
Now its time to finish you!" the original trio sang, laughing maniacally.

Adagio laughed, floating down and causally throwing around a few upstart challengers like ragdolls without taking her eyes off her archenemies. "Welcome to the Dazzlings Return Tour, Rainbooms!...Minus one that is..." she laughed, smirking to Dash, who gave a toothy grin.

"They've somehow managed to combine technology with their magic!" Sci Twi pointed out.

"It's Super Sirens!" Pinkie Pie shouted loudly.

Adagio growled. "We are SO not going by that!"

"Oh! What about Cyber Sirens?" asked Sonata. "Or Syber Sirens, with an S!"

Adagio gave her a 'shut up' Sonata look. "No, we're now...Abyssus Sirens...I like that..."

"Oh...can we still change our band name to Digital Dazzlings?"

"...Maybe..."

"...That's just Latin for Abyss Sirens..." Sci Twi pointed out.

"So?" Adagio asked, crossing her hands. "All that matters is after MONTHS of being made a laughing stock by you and playing nice, we're BACK!...Oh, and you may want to start running."

"...Why?" AJ asked.

The minions from the simulation AND the new Siren converts look at them, the minions now there whether or not they were wearing the VR eyepatch or not.

"We just put bounties on ALL of you and Sirens don't factor into the enemy AI as players," replied Adagio with a psychopathic smirk.

"...Horseapples..." Twilight muttered, also noting Rainbow Dash was not on their side anymore.

The Rainbooms had to fall back, at least from the enclosed area they were currently in.

"But the question is, where are you going to run to now! This town is OURS!" Adagio cackled. "...And soon, the WORLD will be..." she said with a shark's smirk.

"Should we tell them the last boss shows up if they beat all the minions?" asked Sonata.

"Nah, let 'em figure it out for themselves..."

OOC: I only own my altered lyrics to the song, everyone go support the creator and listen to the original.

Session 72.18 Mtangalion (with edits by me)

The Canterlot Crusaders had been humbled and made to apologize for all the chaos at school, then grounded separately in their respective houses, or so their big sisters thought. Thanks to the augmented reality eye patches and Apple Bloom's tinkering with the network, the girls had been in contact every day.

With Apple Bloom modding the game engine (it was like the security program wasn't even TRYING to fight Apple Bloom as she created all these new designs and settings for her school-mates (school as in siren, not class), Sweetie Belle had reimagined her room at Rarity's house into the chamber at the top of a lonely tower by the sea, where her sister, the wicked Queen Chrysalis, had unjustly imprisoned her. Two magic mirrors on the wall showed her friends, and a third showed the stage where Adagio, Aria, and Sonata were starting the main event. "So..."

Apple Bloom had entirely ditched the fantasy setting of the game world somehow, and modded her bedroom at the Acres into the bridge of the main starship from Star Trot. Bloom flashed a satisfied grin, watching her robots efficiently man the other bridge stations. "Looks like everything's going according to plan."

Not to be outdone, Scootaloo had turned the game world representation of her bedroom into Daring Do's famed treasure and trophy room. "Yeah... Adagio's plan. I still want to get her back for what she did to Dash!" How much that was still endearment towards a fellow siren... and how much that was anger at something Scootaloo considered her property was a mystery.

Sweetie ordered the Queen Chrysalis' changeling guards to bring her another wine glass, so she could sing a pure high note and shatter that one too. In the third magic mirror, the concert was reaching some kind of climax. "I do too, Scoots, but you know we're not strong enough. We didn't dare cross her even before, and now..."

All three of the girls froze, eyes glowing red and fully-formed jewels appearing at their throats.

Sweetie Belle felt all the magic rushing back to her... no, she had even *more* power now than she'd had at school! The reflections of her friends flickered... they sirened-up right before her eyes, their actual human bodies transforming, not just the game avatars, and Sweetie grinned, knowing that the same must have just happened to her!

Unexpectedly, Apple Bloom burst out laughing. "She's done it... We can beat her, Ah know we can!" She ran to the science station and started typing. "Once Ah hack Adagio's power-up program..."

Further plans for power grab thinly veiled as revenge were interrupted when someone knocked on Sweetie's bedroom window and slid it open / when a brave lone and obliviously heavily modded Flash Sentry The Pegasus Guard made the heroic climb up her prison tower and jumped in through the window, wearing his usual jeans and sweater and propeller beanie / wearing green adventuring tights and a wolf pendant, and then he suddenly spun and parried a changeling guard's sword, then stabbed it, turning it into a cloud of stray pixels. He sank to his knees, breathing hard. "Sweetie Belle... Oh no, you've already changed! Sorry it took me so long to get here..."

The other Crusaders gasped in the magic mirrors, but Sweetie gasped loudest of all. "Button Mash?" Her face lit up in a seductive smile. "We missed you at school, Button. Where've you been?"

"My fault," said Button, blushing as he hauled himself upright again. "I lied to my mom... made her think I had the flu, when I really wanted to finish the new Legend of Cadence game. But now I'm here to help you!"

Apple Bloom grinned. "You can help, alright. Ah've got just the thing! Computer, load King Sombra armor version 4b!" A rotating image of night-black spiky armor with a two-handed ebony sword appeared on her view screen, and then another button tap "beamed" it over to Sweetie's tower.

Scootaloo rubbed her hands together gleefully. "Yeah! It's about time somebody realized just how awesome we really are and came to us first."

Button Mash recoiled. "What.. no! I meant, I'm here to save you, not help you that way!"

Sweetie Belle beckoned to her still-human boyfriend, floating in her renewed magic and humming a heroic song, a call to adventure. "But you will be saving us, Button. You'll be one of the heroes who stopped Adagio once and for all, and the Siren Crusaders will finally make our mark on the world, just like we always wanted to. Put the armor on? Please?"

A pixel-art sprite appeared that only Button could see, and only in his eye patch. It floated over his left shoulder, a chibi-Button with dragon wings and eyes, and color-shifting hair. "Come on, what are you waiting for?" it said. "Isn't this what you've always wanted? The power to make your own world, where boring things like school and work and college can go away forever?"

Another sprite appeared over his right shoulder, this one with feathered wings and a circlet with a jewel over its forehead, carrying a little staff with a golden D-Pad controller on the end. "There's more to life than video games... or would you be happy replacing Sweetie Belle with a dating simulator? If you're gonna be the game master, you have to be the master! The video games can't be YOUR master."

Everything faded to gray, except for two floating buttons. "Fight for Sweetie Belle and become KING SOMBRA." "Oppose Sweetie Belle and become a SHINING ARMOR."

"What, seriously?" asked Button Mash in that paused moment of game time. "Those are the only things I can chose? That's not fair!" He shoved the text boxes aside and leaned closer to Sweetie Belle. "All I really wanted... was to be your hero."

The gray silence fractured, shattering into a blaze of rainbow light!

Session 72.19 Grogar-the-oneser

"Why are you so obsess with this," Sweetie Belle said.

"Cause you are a good person, and I'm hoping the real can fight this creepy hate plague. If not just strike me down cause I don't want to fight you or join evil you hurting people. I only ask that you don't do it in a Xykon matter in case your also part lich," Button added.

Session 72.20 Mtangalion

All over Canterlot, people who were greeting the New Year in the Siren’s game world staggered or spaced out, as all the spare magic in the network was siphoned off and concentrated. Adagio herself felt it, scowling briefly, but she couldn’t start yelling orders at Aria now... they had to keep singing!

A cocoon of light surrounded Button Mash, lighting up Sweetie Belle’s bedroom like day and making her float back, shading her eyes and hissing. Then the cocoon burst, scattering glowing golden feathers artfully. "Arise, Mashimus Prime!" yelled Button. "Heh, just kidding! I sure turned into something, though..."

Still too bright to make out clearly, Button Mash ponied-up, sprouting pony ears, longer princely hair, and wings. When the glow faded at last, he was wearing the armor of the Last Champion of Crystarule.

Sweetie Belle hissed, eyes glowing red. "That harmony... I can’t bear it! That horrible, awful harmony!" She lunged at Button, fingers twisted into claws.

Button Mash started to reach for his sword, then quickly changed his mind and raised his shield, the holy artifact bearing the symbol of the Triangles of Power. Sweetie Belle saw her reflection in the shield and shrieked a note that made the house tremble on its foundations before she collapsed, sickly green mist boiling out of her and flying away out the window.

When the last of the Siren magic was gone, Sweetie sucked in a deep breath and ponied-up properly. The game world around her glitched. (System Error. System Err-er-er- Secret Avatar unlocked: Queen Majesty. Congratulations, user Sweetie Belle)

"B-Button?" murmured Sweetie. She gaped at Button, and then at herself when she realized that her game avatar was wearing a beautiful gown with blue ribbons and golden gloves and high heels. Then she saw her spell list and her jaw dropped. "Isn’t this... a little over the top?"

Button Mash shrugged, grinning back. "Heh, maybe. Oh, we need to go save your friends, too! I wish we could just Warp Pipe over to them. Maybe..." The floor promptly turned inside-out, plunging them into a dark tunnel. "Aaaaaaaah, me and my big mouth! Aaaaaah..."

Sunset and her friends were in a fighting retreat from the outdoor stage, forced to battle wave after wave of enemies... not computer-controlled monsters, but other players, corrupted into new sirens. They’d already defeated and purified over a dozen of the weaker ones, but more of them kept coming.

"We’re getting close to the school," said Fluttershy, holding the Healing Staff of Somnambula in a shaky grip. (Aria had tried to delete that character the moment she saw it in the game files, but it just kept popping up again somehow.) "Maybe we can hide in there!"

Applejack shook her head. "They want us to go in there, sugarcube. They’re herding us."

A small dog raced across the field and started barking and nipping at Gilda’s heels. "Mistress! Oh, Mistress, it’s dangerous here, please take this! Winona wanted it, but Ember said she couldn’t have it!"

Gilda gasped. "Ember? Duh, of course it’s dangerous here! Ember, I told you to stay home! Bad dog!"

Ember whimpered, ears drooping, but she used her teeth to grip something shiny stuck in her collar, and she flung it at Gilda’s feet.

A sparkling blue, very shiny something. Rainbow Dash’s missing geode.

"Gimme that!" cried Gilda, snatching it up at once. "How on earth did you... Heh, did I say ‘bad dog?’ I meant good dog! Best dog!" She scritched Ember’s ears energetically. "You just earned a mountain of dog treats, pal!"

Session 72.21 Alex Warlorn

Adagio and her sisters didn't need to sign 24-7 to keep things going... that would have been stupid and inane, and now that they had their army of their own kind... they didn't need it...

"What the fuck are they doing? What, the actual fuck, do they fucking thinking they're fucking doing?!" Adagio snarled, thousands of years of poise melting away at this outrage. "Oh. Oh no. No way. No how. Dream on. They don't get to! Not this time! That isn't happening! We have not worked through all this scheming, planning, working, preparing, dodging, just to hand over making our enemies even more powerful on a sliver platter... I AM NOT FALLING FOR AMATEUR HOUR CRAP LIKE THE HEROES TAKING YOUR CORRUPTING AND BECOMING EVEN MORE POWERFUL FROM IT! NO! FUCKING!!! WAY!!!!"

While those transformed back it would take forever to re-corrupt, it was easy peasy to turn them into musically brainwashed onto the spot, the sirens had been doing that for eons.

"... We spend weeks corrupting, I mean uplifting humans into our own kind... and they've devolve some like it was no big deal?!" Aria herself felt angry... but it wasn't like Adagio's fury. Instead, it was like something dear and precious had been taken from her. "THEY BELONG TO OUR SCHOOL NOW YOU LITTLE SWINES!"

The heroes looked over their heads... saw HP totals, subtitles, and type. Bounties had been declared on all of them. Not that it really mattered. The game itself seemed almost defunct at this point.

-

"Huh... online bill for unlocking your character... 200 dollars!?!??!!" Button Mash's eyes bulged.

Sweetie suddenly wondered with dread what the bill was for her character.

-

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom simply left their houses, their thralled families simply letting them leaves and joining the army. The two sirens met up in the sky.

"So do we go after Sweetie Belle?" Scootaloo asked.

"Naw, Ah've seen this movie before, we'll just get zapped somehow too. And the School will have more to worry about. They need to be isolated."

Session 72.22 Alex Warlorn

"Oh don't be such silly willies remember?" Sonata said happily, "Unbeatable final boss? Remember? Direct conduit of eldritch magic and our patron Great Old One? Causes corruption stat to sky rocket just by BEING NEAR HIM? Powers up and extends all Wave Mode forms and attacks again just by being near him? Has an attack he can use a free action that TRIGGERS Wave Mode? Don't get made sisters! TAKE BACK what's getting stolen from us!" Sonata smiled. "We finally have lots of brothers and sisters, let's not have those sticks in the mud kidnapping them! Dra-gon is the man!"

Session 72.23 Kendell2

"Okay, brainiac," asked Gilda to Twilight, holding the geode. "I can Griffon up, can I use THIS thing?"

"I...don't know..." Twilight admitted, rubbing her head.

"What do you mean?!"

"Magic works DIFFERENTLY here, in our Equestria you have to have a bond to the other Bearers to use the Elements, I don't know if that's how it works here," Twilight replied. "And you need Loyalty to do it. that's the ELEMENT of Loyalty."

"..." Gilda growled, not sure she fit the description.

They got into a room and barricaded a door, but given they were dealing with a horde of SIRENS, that wouldn't hold long.

"Alright, we need a plan," Applejack stated. "We're dealin' with those three, stronger than ever, and an entire army of Sirens..."

"Come out you chickens!" Rainbow Dash hissed.

"...And Rainbow Dash is one of them," Applejack replied.

"Well obviously purifying Rainbow Dash is step one," Sci-Twi said. "Problem is she's one of the stronger Sirens, so we have no chance of purifying her when she's with an ARMY of them."

"We we need to somehow isolate Rainbow from and army of sirens and a bunch of evil digital minions brought to life somehow," Twilight said, then signed. "This is not good."

Session 72.24 QuartzScale

"Snow... what am I looking at here?" Sombra spoke out in his office as he looked at the chaos that was the new Heroes game that those three music department girls had mentioned to be making.

"Well... it looks as though someone is affecting the code and there have been several complaints about things getting unfair and weird." Snow answered as he tapped away on his laptop.

"Right then... And all this talk about magic and stuff affecting the world isn't the cause for it right?" Sombra almost pleaded as Radiant Hope entered the room.

There were weird power fluctuations happening due to all the traffic on the servers. Radiant Hope was sporting pony ears and a crystal coat. Sombra couldn't exactly say he wasn't... intrigued by the sight but when it had started affecting him then it started getting weird. He had a strange jagged red horn sticking out of his forehead though it didn't hurt and even though it was dark looking it wasn't affecting his mind. In fact half the building, due to housing the servers, had transformed the entire building into weird anthropomorphic creatures. The ones who looked like changelings were also being really lazy for some reason.

"Would you like me to shut down the game then?" Snow cautiously asked as the clacking of the keys came to a stop.

"No... Instead can you lock out all other game creators and give only me access to changing things from this terminal in my office. Whoever these hackers are, they've tried my patience for the last time." Sombra growled out as his horn actually started to glow.

=========

Zappityhoof, Goldcap, and Decepticolt all gulped as they were led out by Tirek. Their bail had been paid explicitly by someone known only as the Storm King and they would be working for him indefinitely.

=========

Aria managed to see the screen of the computer activate as her control of the game was cut off. Unfortunately they were too busy singing to do anything about it. Adagio and Sonata were having too much fun. Though now they couldn't affect any would be hero anymore. She snarled as several more sirens slammed their fists on the doors where the self proclaimed heroes were attempting to stop them were.

=========

Screwball was becoming increasingly perturbed by the unfairness for the users who got the boosted characters. She quietly deleted the pay account they were billed and used some of her own funds that her daddy had given her to bail them out. No one needed to know even if Daddy was going to get the bill later anyways.

Several weeks after the incident

"Why was I charged so much this month!?" Discord screamed out to the heavens.

'Knew I forgot something...' Screwball mused to herself.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 72.0 Ardashir
Session 72.1 Mtangalion
Session 72.2 Alex Warlorn
Session 72.3 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 72.4 Mtangalion
Session 72.5 Ardashir
Session 72.6 Alex Warlorn
Session 72.7 Mtangalion
Session 72.8 Ardashir
Session 72.9 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 72.10 Kendell2
Session 72.11 Alex Warlorn
Session 72.12 Mtangalion
Session 72.13 Kendell2
Session 72.14 Alex Warlorn
Session 72.15 Mtangalion
Session 72.16 Alex Warlorn
Session 72.17 Kendell2
Session 72.18 Mtangalion (with edits by me)
Session 72.19 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 72.20 Mtangalion
Session 72.21 Alex Warlorn
Session 72.22 Alex Warlorn
Session 72.23 Kendell2
Session 72.24 QuartzScale

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Picture by Skecchiart used with permission.

https://skecchiart.deviantart.com/art/Final-Friendship-510431892

Session 73

(I was going to include a character from the animation/novella 'Friend to Remember' but I felt it would be spoilers.)

Sonic blasts continued to all but obliterate the warehouse door the girls were hiding behind. Humans and animals alike who hadn't been players for the game to a person and creatures began to either violently fight among themselves or worship in awe at their new goddesses, none in the city were spared save one spot. Ironically, Crystalsoft seemed spare only because it was at the eye of the storm, where the servers were kept.

"Ah don't suppose we could just blow up the game servers at the company headquarters?" Applejack asked.

"The game is the vector, not the disease!" Princess Twilight declared.

"What do angles got to do with this?"

"UGH! Vector as how a disease is spread, PAY ATTENTION IN BIOLOGICAL CLASS!"

"BARK! BARK!" 'ME KILL EMBER'S FACE DEAD!' Bark Winona outside.

-

Siren Tempest Shadow flew above the warehouse of unsold Daring Do and the Crystal Skill Merchandise (the negativities from these enough to feed any siren). She was surprised when her cell phone off, she answered with her living arm and answered from trained reaction.

"Hello?" She asked her adopted father on the other end.

"Honey, have you turned evil?" The Storm King asked looking outside his window seeing the storm of dark magic.

"YES!"

"And have you gained super powers and are now taking part in overthrowing the world and crushing those who would protect it?"

"YES!"

"... I'm so proud!" He was even happier he already had in black and white all merchandising rights if Tempest Shadow ever became a super-villain, and a cut of the profits if she ever helped conquer the world.

-

Earth's magical protector (and Gilda) were so focused on reinforcing the door, they didn't expect anyone to try and smash in the roof... which the Siren Tempest Shadow did.

"I say we pray that five hundred bucks Gorgon Staff she has doesn't now work in reality!" Gilda said.

"Five hundred dollar for a blatant game breaking item that outrageous on both counts!" Rarity exclaimed.

"Look," Fluttershy said, "I know that dark magic is telling you to do awful things, and you're hurt and angry, and so they all sound like good ideas. But badguys around us have a habit of turning good... well, usually, so maybe you just want some friends? It seems like badguys all just want some friends and-"

She grabbed Fluttershy, her mechanical arm acting faster and stronger than it ever should have. "I HAD friends! Then I saw how 'loyal' friends really are!" She slipped an Augmented Reality transparent eyepatch over one of Fluttershy's eyes,a and directed her view outside at SOMETHING in game.

"Don't worry!" Princess Twilight said. "If she's anything like my Fluttershy her inner goodness and love will be too strong for the darkness to overcome and-"

"REVENGE! DARK! VIOLENT REVENGE! ON ALL WHO EVER SCOFFED AT ME! EVER LOOKED DOWN ON ME! I WANT REVENGE ON THEM ALL!!!!!" Fluttershy's eyes glowed red and a dark shadow grew behind her getting larger and larger.

"And I should really stop expecting alternate reality counterparts to act like each other."

Session 73.1 Grogar-the-oneser

"Oh, however, I do have one thing to add." She grabbed Tempest and bashed her head repeatedly into the wall and then stomped her on the foot. "That's for trying to make me your puppet bitch!" She then turns to Twilight and Sci-Twi. "And you two, get to work fixing this before I punch your teeth in!"

"Okay." Everyone gulped as they began to move. Fluttershy turn to Tempest who looked pissed.

"Come get some!!!" Fluttershy shouted as the two began to fight.

Session 73.2 Kendell2

"...This is so not good..." said Twilight. "We need help here! But it'd have to be somepony extremely powerful to even be of help..."

Sci Twi blinked...then took out her cell phone and called. "Hello?...Look,, we've got a situation here and we need all the help we can get..." Sci Twi gave a sympathetic sigh. "I know exactly how you feel, I really do...I felt the same way...but SHE was just a part of you lost in it...You control the magic, it doesn't control you...and besides, you went nuts for a better reason than I did...You at least had a selfless reason...You're welcome...so will you help? Thanks..." The young woman hung up after giving their location. "Calvary is on its way!"

"Who?!" asked the Equestrian Twilight.

Suddenly a few moments later, the plants outside began to grow and burst through the window between the Sirens and themselves.

"Girls!" called a voice as a form descended through the hole Tempest had smashed in the ceiling.

"Gloriosa!" called Rarity, then blinked. "My, you look lovely, darling..."

The young woman floated in a magic aura, her hair having grown longer like their own but several difference. For starters, her ears were more deer-like than pony-like and she had small antler nubs emerging from her hair line (which Twilight would later explain was due to evidently channeling a Reindeer). "Um...thank you...I figured out how to do it while caring for the camp, and I called Twilight about it..." she said, still clearly awkward. She then blinked. "Twilight, why are there two of you?"

"Will explain later! No time!" Twilight exclaimed, dodging a conic blast.

"Right!" the former Gaea Everfree replied, then focused and summoned tendrils of vines to send after the Sirens, which managed to take them off guard and tie them up...for a few moments before they began breaking free. "I can't hold them for long!"

"You don't have to! Just focus on holding some of them!" Sci-Twi yelled. "Girls! Now's our chance to get to Rainbow Dash!"

Being one of the stronger Sirens, Rainbow Dash had been the first to break free of the vines, and charged for Gloriosa, but Applejack jumped up and blocked her with her super strength.

"Time tah snap back to reality, Rainbow!" the woman called, knocking away Rainbow's flippers and crushing her VR Eyepatch...only to be batted away.

"You think that's enough to stop me?" Rainbow asked, just pulling out another one and putting it on. She then took a deep breath and floored the heroes with a sonic note, Rarity taking the hit to put a shield up around Gloriosa so she could continue holding off the other Sirens. The 'Deer Uped' girl summoned more vines, trying desperately to replace vines as quickly as the Sirens tore through them.

Gilda growled, getting back to her hooves. "Darn it Dash! Snap out of it!" she yelled, holding up her geode. "You're better than this!"

"Yeah, I AM better than this, and better than you, and better than everyone," said Rainbow, giving a toothy smirk.

"...So you're in one of THOSE moods again?" Gilda asked, glaring. "Then I need to do something for you you always do for me..."

"And what is that?" the Siren asked.

Gilda clinched the geode and charged her. "Snap you out of it when you're in a bad place!" she yelled, jumping up and trying to slam the geode into Dash's Siren pendant.

The woman merely blasted her back with a sonic scream. "That doesn't sound very friendly," she taunted.

Gilda growled, getting back to her feet. "I'm not friendly!...But you're STILL my friend no matter how stubborn, angry, and riled up I can get!...Hehe...don't I owe you to be yours no matter how big of an ego you get?"

"Then come help me! Don't fight me!" Rainbow Dash yelled, blasting Gilda back again when the girl made another charge.

Ember snarled and rushed Dash, who tried to blast her with a sonic scream...only for Gilda to jump in the way and take the hit for her dog. "...Master?" asked the dog, going over and nudging her.

Gilda groaned, petting Ember when she got up. "I'm NOT helping you this time, Dash!" she called, 'Griffoning up'. "Because I know if it were ME all juiced up on dark magic or evil or WHATEVER, then you'd be the first one to snap me out of it!"

Gilda flew at Dash again, only to be blasted away. Gilda growled, getting back up again. "So snap out of it Dash!" she yelled, rushing her and trying again...

And this time being surrounded by a pillar of cyan energy, the Geode glowing.

"What?!" Rainbow asked.

Gilda charged forwards, now wearing what looked like a cross between the normal magical girl attire the Humane Seven had and a centurion's armor, and this time plowed through the sonic wave. She grabbed Dash's Siren crystal and began to squeeze, causing the jewel to crack. "...Huh, what do you know? I was loyal enough after all..." she muttered before the jewel shattered and she put the geode in its place, triggering a rainbow colored explosion. Not a 'World Healing Wave shockwave, but big enough to show something had happened.

Session 73.3 MtangaLion

President Sombra clenched his fists, resisting the urge to get up and pace around his office. “Well?”

Mr. Snow growled, still focused on his terminal. “Ninety percent of the game control access points are locked down, sir, but the last few are being… stubborn.”

Darkness started to gather around Sombra’s new horn, but Radiant Hope put an arm around his shoulders, and he was able to take a deep breath and let it go… again. “Keep working at it. And someone find out where Chrysalis is!” He hesitated. “Mr. Snow, are you aware that you’re turning into a dog?”

Mr. Snow’s rapid-fire typing slowed to a crawl. “Wolf, sir.” He stared at the white-furred face and muzzle reflected in the monitor. “This is fine. I can still fulfill the terms of my contract.” (Wipe them out! The magic, the portal, the intruders, erase them all!) Mr. Snow shook himself in a disturbingly canine manner, and started typing again. “I believe I can keep the video game from damaging the real world any further, if this situation is resolved *soon*.”

The office door banged open, and Gabby the intern barged in… with large gray-feathered wings. “Guys! Guys, I’m turning… into… a griffon!! This is the best thing ever! Right, right!? Oh, and flying fish monsters are trying to break in the front door.”

Sombra stood up, straightened his tie, and cracked his knuckles. “Intern, stay here and guard Mr. Snow. Radiant, dear...” He grinned darkly. “It’s time for a little hands-on management.”

Session 73.4 Alex Warlorn

Fluttershy twitched on the ground as Tempest Shadow kicked her in the ribs over and over.

"YOU WERE STUPID ENOUGH to think YOUR PAIN was anything compared to mine?! WHINY TEENAGER!"

Over the microphone of the AR Eyepatches came an unholy gurgle reminding any who heard it of the deepest depths of a pitch black ocean where living things followed alien rules of biological.

But it translated basically as, 'Stop fighting among yourselves, YOU IDIOTS!'

Tempest Shadow and Fluttershy both stood at attention, a quiver in their bones as they instinctively responded, 'Yes, father.' Any thoughts of attack each other forgotten.

-

"Hey, how about we get the Rainboom's buddies over here and threaten to get rid of them if they don't get with the new trend?" Adagio said with a devilish grin on face.

Sonata looked surprised rather than horrified at the idea, Aria's eyes widened a bit at the suggestion, they were sirens now after all.

'Their lives belong to me, not you, Adagio,' said that pitch black voice in a language that only those of his blood understood.

Adagio shuddered, 'O-only kidding, father.'

-

"So is Rainbow cured or not?" Applejack asked.

"I dunno! But after a burst of rainbow light like that, it would be dumb if she wasn't!" Pinkie Pie said.

The rest of the sirens meanwhile, had realized the new neat cool hole in the room and had begun to swarm in.

Starlight meanwhile, found Fluttershy's healing staff of 'Sunombula' (or however it was spelled) was now in her inventory instead. And all her stats were all MUCH BETTER than they'd been before.

"Sunburst, stay behind me."

-

"Where do these things keep coming from?!" Button Mash shouted as chilling piano music played as a seemingly endless supply of spider like robots with death rays with a personal grudge against them keep attacking Sweetie and Button Mash.

"I'm guessing Apple Bloom's character class had to do with making stuff and she now had no cool down on her abilities!" Sweetie said her barrier shattered once again after a barrage of laser fire.

Session 73.5 MtangaLion

Spike sighed, drumming his claws on the crystal map table. “I sure hope Twilight’s okay. It feels like she’s been in that human world forever this time.”

Cadence smiled. “I’m sure she’ll write if there’s any trouble, Spike.”

With the official public appearances for Cadence’s “state visit” to Ponyville out of the way, they’d all settled in Twilight’s castle and started a new game of “Dawn of Ponyland.” Cadence was playing Majesty, Scootaloo’s character was Wind Whistler, and Apple Bloom was Magic Star. Sweetie Belle had homework to do, so her character, the Weather Witch, had stayed behind, and Spike and Garble were playing the guest party members, Wooden Spoke and Indabor. Majesty's infant dragon, not coincidentally also named Spike, was too young to talk, so he was an NPC.

“Ugh, how long is this dumb city council meeting gonna take?” grumbled Garble. “I want to get back to the giant explosions!”

Spike chuckled, nudging Scootaloo. “He’s like the big brother I never had.”

Scootaloo blinked, comparing the two dragons. “Really? I thought Shining Armor was your big brother, kind of.”

Spike’s scales blushed. “He... might have disowned me, after I chewed up all his O&O miniatures when I was teething. I’m sure he forgave me a long time ago, though!”

Behind the Oubliette Master’s screen, Shining Armor shuddered, lost in a memory. “No, not Gleaming Shield! Not the hoof-painted figure I made for the first O&O character I ever… No, what are you doing, Spike? Cover that sneeze… No!” He gasped and blinked, snapping out it.

Garble shook with laughter, slapping his knee. “Haw, haw! *Dragons* would know not to make toys out of that plastic junk.”

Shining got an evil grin. “The council proposes that you go on a stealth mission to discover who’s plotting against the city.”

Garble gasped. “No way! Stealth missions are so boring!”

“Yes way!” said Shining. They leaned across the table, dragon and pony snarling at each other.

Cadence rapped a hoof on the table. “Boys, behave... or I’ll turn you both into soap bubbles.”

Spike raised a claw cautiously. “You do know that stuff Majesty can do is only in the game, right?”

“Huh?” Cadence smiled disturbingly. “Oh, right. Yes, of course it is.”

Session 73.6 Jarkes

(OOC: I know this interrupts the current arc, but I just had to do it)

Twilight and Fizzlepop were at a "Heroes of Equestria" convention for "research purposes" (Twilight vehemently denied that she just wanted to see if the Starswirl cosplayers had increased since the Pillars had come back to Equestria). Fizzlepop was perplexed at the number of cosplayers dressed as her.

"Ponies... actually like me? Enough to dress up as me? After everything I did?" Fizzlepop asked Twilight.

"That, or they're some of those weirdos who actually admire villains," Twilight said. "Never understood that."

Fizzlepop noted that most of the cosplayers had fake scars over their left eyes, rather than the right eye where her scar actually was. "These... cosplays... could use a little work though..."

A teenage unicorn stallion wearing an "I Love Tempest Shadow" shirt came up to them. "That's a good Tempest Shadow cosplay, but your scar's on the wrong side," he said, before walking away.

"THE SCAR IS NOT ON THE WRONG SIDE!" Fizzlepop yelled after him.

"Calm down, Fizzlepop..." Twilight said, sweating nervously.

Session 73.7 Alex Warlorn

"I. Have. Had. ENOUGH!" Sunset sprouted her fiery wings, and flew straight at Fluttershy and gasped her head in both her hands, diving into her mind.

Rarity quickly put up barriers to protect Sunset and the School of Sirens attacked, including Tempest Shadow.

"What did she just do?!" Gilda exclaimed.

"I'd say she magically entered Fluttershy's mind darkling.

"Couldn't she just do that with every siren, ugh, everyone?!"

"I doubt she knows everyone in town that well, it clearly is going to take some time to deal with this from the inside, and we're fighting an ARMY not just one or two transformed!"

"Wait! You have super powers that not related to the game?! ALIENS!" Starlight exclaimed.

"Oh right, kinda forgot ya were here." Applejack sighed as she punched Lyra in the face so hard she left a dent in the wall, but Lyra wasn't hurt in the least. Oh right, sirens were immortal.

Session 73.8 Alex Warlorn

"Starlight... I can't help but notice all these orcs have a very familiar, and dare I say, rather equally large grins on their faces."

"Well, in this game, after being made to kill an endless number of orcs, you then gain the power to mind control them. It's a shame you don't get it from the start, because then you could avoid any bloodshed! So now I mind control them to do good instead of doing evil. They were ALREADY under mind control under Sauron, so it's not like I'd taken away their free will..."

"... It horrifies me that I can find no fault in you logic."

"Also, I just finished a mod for Under-Story where instead of killing or befriending, you can choose to mind control any monsters you encounter instead."

"STARLIGHT! You can't just mod a modern classic like that! It's mangling its original message! ... " Twilight declared loudly, then added lowly, "Meet me in the back alley behind the castle later."

Session 73.9 Kendell2

"Starlight, for starters we're not aliens, we're just using real magic, and no we're not witches either! We're mages, there's a big difference!" Twilight explained.

"She has a point," Sunburst replied.

"The SIRENS are witches."

"...That explains a lot..."

The rainbow glow finally faded, revealing Rainbow Dash back to normal and holding her head, in her crystal powered up suit. "Ugh...I feel like I've been a giant jerk..." she muttered then noticed the situation. "...Oh...so I haven't been having a weird nightmare where I got so caught up in a game that I turned into a siren real life?"

Gilda panted. "That really happened..."

"Oh...sorry girls, I..." Rainbow replied, feeling a bit sick to her stomach.

"It's okay, Rainbow..." Sunset said. "Me and Twilight have been there, at least you were the victim of another villain..."

"Yeah, because I got so caught up in this crud! Ugh, after this is over, we're paying Rainbows and Crystals!" Rainbow muttered.

"Girls!" Gloriosa yelled, still desperately trying to hold off the Sirens with her vines, clearly tiring. "Situation here!"

"Right! Rainbow! Go try to help Sunset save Fluttershy!" Twilight called as the mane six rushed in to try and purify the Sirens Gloriosa was restraining.

Rainbow nodded and flew towards Fluttershy and Sunset, Rarity providing an opening...

Tempest rushed her and attacked Rainbow...only for her to dodge and keep going. "Come back here! We still haven't settled this!"

Rainbow looked back. "You mean the game? I'm DONE with letting that control me. You wanna keep playing? Trixie's still your rival, I want to have fun with my friends!...How about you come along with us?"

Tempest snarled in rage. "FRIENDS ARE LIES! THEY DON'T EXIST!" she roared, touching her artificial arm. For a brief moment, Rainbow saw PAIN in her eyes. "THEY CLAIM TO! Then when you need them most they're gone!"

"...Lady...I don't know WHAT you've been through, but it sounds more like you had some pretty lousy friends than all friends being lousy...trust me, I've caused my friends more than enough grief to know if they were lousy, they'd be gone..." Rainbow Dash replied, then dodged a sound blast with her superspeed. "...And I'll never give up on them..." she said, then speeded over to Fluttershy and tried to join hands with Sunset and join them...

Then had to duck as Tempest rushed her. "Geeze, you don't know when to quit, do you?!"

"I NEVER quit!"

"Then why'd you give up on making friends?"

The Screwball AI tapped her chin, looking at the stats. Now that the reveal had happened, the evil form was kind of overpowered, players who took that route were blatantly unfairly powered up compared to heroes opposing the villains. The game seemed unfairly balanced to make it impossible to even reach the final boss without being corrupted, and that just couldn't do. Screwball floated in the digital sea looking a marked Nerf over the Wave Forms. She tapped her chin.

"Hmm...Ah!" she said, a lightbulb emerging over her head out of 0s and 1s and she hit the LIGHTBULB.

Sci Twi blinked, looking down at her stats and noticing a white bar labeled 'Harmony' that filled up when she purified a Siren. "Uh, girls, I think something just happened..."

"HI!" called Screwball, suddenly floating in front of her.

"AH!" the human Twilight screamed, jumping back. She took her eyepatch on and off, Screwball vanishing whenever she did so.

"Hi Screwball!" called Pinkie Pie, waving.

"Hi Pinkie Pie!" Screwball called, then cleared her throat. "Patch Notes: Due to analysis revealing the final quest was borderline unbeatable for characters not using Wave Forms, an alternative form has been patched in for the final level to make it beatable. This form's bar fills up via purifying corrupted enemies..." she read, manifesting a pair of glasses and reading a patch note. She then gave a happy chuckle and waved. "Have fun!" she called, vanishing.

"...How...what...why..." asked Sci-Twi, having not seen someone manage that with the VR eyepatch yet.

"She's literally Discord's daughter back home, I'm not questioning it," Twilight replied. "Just start purifying!"

Session 73.10 Kendell2

Sombra marched out the front door and looked at the Sirens coming out. "Alright, now everyone CALM down and leave or I may have to do something drastic."

"Like what?" asked one of the Sirens, Sombra didn't know the name but they looked like a student he knew from Crystal Prep.

"I'm the President of the entire company who MADE the game you're playing," Sombra said, knowing he was out of his depth for a lot of this but also not about to let some fish monsters hurt his wife and unborn child. "Which means I automatically have ALL THE BEST GEAR!" he said, in the eyepatch suddenly decked out in the game's best non-Wave related armor and weapons. "And the Final Boss of the latest expansion is based off me..." he said, hoping the horn on his head meant what he thought it mean. He put a hand to the ground and focused, trying to imagine his in game counterpart doing one of his signature moves. Suddenly a huge pillar of black crystal erupted out of the ground, blocking the door and sending him up. "...Magical craziness...and here I thought Cinch was just going insane..."

"I TOLD YOU! EVERYONE THOUGHT I WAS MAD BUT I TOLD YOU!" yelled Cinch from inside the building (having become a Secretary here after she 'quit').

"...In all honesty, I DO think you're insane," said Sombra.

= Bergentruckung - Undertale =

Sombra took a deep breath. "You know, spoilers for the next expansion by the way. If players took the route to save Sombra, he and Radiant can be quite the allies..." he said, focusing and firing energy blasts down. Knowing what had happened to his staff and himself, he primarily focused on Sombra's 'Inflict Fear' abilities to attempt to disable them rather than actually harm them, and using the crystals to get away from them, mainly focusing on distracting them rather than harming them.

Inside, Radiant focused on keeping an eye on things and, hoping the strange horn meant that she had her game self's abilities (which she did) healing her husband when he got hit, all the while ducking behind the windows of the office to avoid drawing agro.

"Mrs. Radiant, dear!" called Discord over the intercom. "My little helper program installed an interesting little mechanic. The Radiant Hope class has purification abilities, try putting them to good use!"

Radiant nodded and focused on the ones her husband had worn down, and sure enough the Purification spell worked (turning the Siren back into an unconscious teenager and she noticed the little Harmony bar go up. "Honey! Try to hold them and I'll purify them!"

"Alright, Radiant!" Sombra called, stunning one of them with a fear spell and letting Radiant do her thing.

Rainbow Dash threw Tempest back. She looked at the girl's prosthetic and remembered that hurt look she had. "...Want to know something that's probably going to shock you?"

"What?!" Tempest yelled, firing from the Gorgon Scepter, but Rainbow dodged.

"...I actually WANT to be your friend."

Tempest blinked. "What?"

"You're my kind of girl! Driven, determined, competitive! If it wasn't all some evil plan by the Sirens, I would've had FUN competing with you!" Rainbow Dash stated. "Me and Applejack LOVE having friends who want to compete with us!"

"Lies!" yelled Tempest.

"It's the truth!"

The teenager growled and promptly tore off her sweater to show her prosthetic arm, going all the way up to her elbow. She took off the glove, revealing the mechanical hand beneath. "There! Do you STILL want to be my friend?!" she asked.

"...In all honesty, I think that's wicked."

Tempest's eyes widened. "W-What?"

"You have a ROBOT ARM! That is COOL! Heck, maybe Sci Twi can upgrade it to have a cool rocket punch!"

Tempest looked like someone who'd been told no every day of her life then suddenly out of nowhere yes. "...Y-You're lying...Everyone hates this stupid thing...except...except..."

"...Guy named Grubber?" asked Princess Twilight.

"...Yeah..."

"...Sounds like you might already have a friend," Rainbow Dash said. "You're just too busy beating yourself up to accept it."

Session 73.11 Alex Warlorn

No Shadowbolt, except Sugarcoat, would ever admit that after Sci-Twi had left Crystal Prep, there was an odd sense of being... incomplete among the Shadow 5, like a piece of them they hadn't even known was there was missing. This was absurd of course, there were no friends at Crystal Prep, only rivals. Students were purposely turned against each other (much like law school). But there was this odd sense of, missed opportunity, like the five of them were missing a piece, even if they were aware of it only unconsciously.

Session 73.12 Alex Warlorn

Sunset Shimmer, inside Fluttershy's mind, look around, confused. "Okay, everything looks like it's made out of pixel art. ... I have a satchel with nothing in it... and... UGH! Everything is bolted to the ground like everything is one solid piece. And... what this is anyway? It looks like fairy land if Tinker Bell had a heavy-metal-make over complete with death metal playing rabbits dressed up like the rock band Smooch. ... Hmm... these two things don't go together. I can't do that. And... OH GREAT!" Sunset moaned. "Fluttershy's mind scape is a friggin' Point And Click Adventure game! I swear if I have to hunt for a pixel sized object Fluttershy is getting such a headache!"

"Did you really think you could play around in Fluttershy's head without my permission?"

"ADAGIO!?"

It looked like Adagio... looking like a crossing between a fairy princess and a heavy metal rocker. She was also fairy sized herself.

"Naw. But I am a construct of her magic inside Fluttershy's head to keep you from causing trouble." She snapped her fingers, and a digital angry goat appeared. "Just TRY to get past the goat, I DARE YOU! I double dog dare you!"

Session 73.13 Alex Warlorn

"... WHAT did you say Trixie?"

"Trixie is just saying she does the best Great and Powerful Friend, The Computer."

"... Trixie, it's not nice to lie, remember? I'm the best at Friend Computer for Paranoia."

"... Trixie is not lying."

"Well, all of my citizens said I did the BEST Friend Computer EVER... and I promptly put them in the reeducation huts into they said I was as good as anypony, but still-!"

"Well! There is only one way to settle this!"

"I agree!"

-

"You want to WHAT!?" Twilight exclaimed.

"You and the other girls, get to play a special version of Paranoia!" Trixie and Starlight grinned at her.

-

In the game...

"Twilight-28?"

"Yes Applejack-99?"

"Ah think Friend Computer, Hail The Computer, might be having split personality issues!"

"That's treasonous! I have to report you! Sorry!"

"Sure... but report to which Friend Computer, Hail The Computer?"

Twilight-28 looked up to find the giant computer screens showing a conflicting imagine of a violet and blue unicorn. "Ah."

Session 73.14 MtangaLion

Button Mash expertly used one sword combo after another… double-strike, sweeping strikes, meteor smash… and still the nasty little spider-bots were arriving faster than he could carve a path forward through them. “Sweetie! Found any good tricks?”

Sweetie Belle’s avatar was flipping through a floating spell journal that probably weighed as much as she did. “Um… mind reading?”

Button did a mild double-take. “I don’t think they have any.”

“Seeing the future!”

“What if you predict that we lose?”

“Yeah…” Sweetie stamped her foot. “Ooh, this has to be good for something. Turn to stone!” One single spider-bot turned into a garden statue, and three more swarmed over it towards her. “Eww, get away! Night to day! Hey, that rhymed!”

The game world sun rose, letting them clearly see just how many hundreds of spider bots filled the streets in front of them… and Apple Bloom the Siren, floating over their heads. “Ya’ll don’t really like fighting yer friends, do ya?” she hummed cheerfully. “Just lay down, let those stamina bars drop to zero, and then we can all be sirens together!”

Sweetie Belle flipped some more pages, then jabbed her finger down on a spell. “Sorry, Bloom, but you’re just not thinking straight right now. Summon friend: King Charlatan!” A cutscene played of an arctic wasteland. A penguin with a bow tie and crown emerged from icy mists, posed dramatically, then fired blue eye beams that swept through the whole spider bot army, crystallizing and shattering them on the spot!

“Yes! It’s over!” shouted Button Mash, springing into the air and brandishing his shield at Apple Bloom.

Apple Bloom grinned sharply. “Eeenope.” She averted her eyes from the reflection that would have cured her, then strapped a pair of tinted wraparound goggles on over her eyepatch.

Button Mash gawked. “No way!”

“What, did ya think you were gonna spam one overpowered move to beat everything?” Flying imps decloaked around Bloom, firing charged bolts that knocked Button back to the ground. Then Bloom sang out a summons and a whole new spider bot army teleported in.

Button stumbled to his feet and dusted himself off. “Maybe I’ll change up my game too. Praetor suit!” The boy floated into the air, pieces of his fantasy armor flying off, spinning around, then snapping back on as green space marine armor. He grinned at his new heads-up display, then whipped a plasma cannon out of nowhere and started mowing down spider bots easily.

Then the earth shook, and a giant spider-mech came stomping into view, piloted by Siren Scootaloo. A loudspeaker clicked on. “Does your mom know you’ve been playing Gloom again, Button? Ooh, you’re gonna be in so much trouble!”

Apple Bloom flew up higher, floating next to Scootaloo. “We can show off all day, Button, but that won’t convince me Ah should be a powerless schoolgirl again, doing her homework while our sisters have all the fun!”

Session 73.15 Ardashir

Meanwhile, back in Equestria:

"So..." Starlight said to a wide-eyed Trixie as she watched the field before her. "When the Griffons sent an invite to the Friendship Palace asking if any of us wanted to participate in the new sport they were bringing to Equestria, this wasn't what I had in mind." She waved her hoof to indicate 'this'.

'This' was a grassy field, half of it roped off. Within the ropes two teams brawled. Blunted swords and axes swung to impact armored heads and chests; iron maces smashed into shields; angry neighs and griffon shrieks filled the air.

"So, how d'ya like it?" Starlight simply stared in shock as Gilda dropped down beside her. "Heh, I gotta hand it to whatever genius dreamed up this 'Battle of the Nations' on that other-place I got to see in Princess Dweeb -- I mean," she hurriedly corrected herself as Starlight and Trixie gave her dirty looks. "That funny crystal ball-thing Twilight had hooked up in the Palace."

"The Wise and Well-Informed Trixie believes she calls it a 'computer'." Trixie winced as two Griffonstone griffons sporting Black-and-Blue surcoats with a double-headed eagle emblazoned teamed up on a nearby Equestrian pony in the Gold-and-Blue of Celestia and Luna, blazoned with Equestria's national symbol. The pony's armor looked like an older and cruder form of Royal Guard armor; that of the griffons resembled that of the old Griffon Guard of King Grover.

One of the griffons engaged the pony from the front, kicking them in the forelegs. The pony reared with a yell. The second griffon promptly stuck their spear-shaft between the pony's rear legs and toppled them onto their back. The Earth pony rolled helplessly as the two griffons pounded on them. A moment later a third griffon, bearing a staff and dressed in yellow and black pushed between the griffons and their prey. He shrieked and wave the staff. The two griffons laughed and charged off at a second pony nearby.

"That can't have been fair!"

"This is a melee," Gilda said to Starlight with a shrug. "No magic, no flying out of range of the ground-bound, if someone goes down on three points," Gilda pointed at a griffon knocked down on their hind legs and one foreleg, "they're out. Everything else is okay." The griffon ruffled their feathers but sat still. Gilda smirked as the melee came to an end. Even Starlight and Trixie could see that the Griffonstone team was victorious. They waved their weapons in the air and shrieked griffon battle-cries as the other griffons watching cheered for them.

"Griffonstone! Griffonstone! Griffonstone!"

"And the Griffonstone team wins yet again!" The announcer called from their box. The ponies got up and limped off the field, some tossing glares as the griffons jeered after them. "Having beaten the Yakyakistan, Diamond Dog, and Equestrian teams, they are one victory away from taking the first ever Battle of the Nations championship!"

"Twilight said something about 'needing to give Griffonstone something to take pride in again'," Starlight shuddered at the barbaric war cries of the griffons. "But was this really a good idea?"

"You wouldn't be complaining if ponies were winning," Gilda smiled nastily as Starlight and Trixie frowned. "We're predators, right? It's only natural we'd beat the dweeb ponies at something like this. Besides, the blades are blunted and nogriffon gets hurt. Well, not much." A few groans drifted over from the medic station as unicorn healers hired for the occasion saw to the injured.

"I just wonder who else is going to get involved," Starlight looked over the crowd. "I never thought this would get popular."

Gilda rolled her eyes. "Yeesh, what do ya expect? A Dragonlands team ta show up?"

They froze as horns blew. Starlight smirked at the worried look on Gilda's face -- only to freeze as she saw a team under the pink-and-blue banner of the Crystal Empire. Twenty ponies in the ornate plate armor of the old Crystal Empire trotted forward, only to stop with a single final hoofstomp. Lances hung at their sides.

"So!" Their team commander stepped out in front of them. Shining Armor looked around regally. "Great idea to bring back a sport that was last done a thousand years ago; the Crystal Ponies were delighted to hear about it! Where do we sign up and who do we have to defeat first?"

Gilda groaned and put her beak in her claws.

"At least this can't get any worse. How many ponies were around a thousand years ago?"

"Luna! Why are you in your old warleader armor? And with your axe, Nightshade? Are we being invaded?"

"Oh, sister, tis a glorious day! Yet one more custom of our beloved past hath been restored, and I will not miss a moment of it!"

OOC:
PS: Hey, in case anyone thinks I made this up! -- botn.info/en/

Or look for 'Battle of the Nations' on Youtube. It's amazing!

Session 73.16 Kendell2

The group was sitting and playing a table top RPG involving werewolves (as expected, Rarity brought up the book series unknowingly, by her, written by a friend of theirs) and were in a tough spot.

It was day and they were cornered by monsters that, if one of them was transformed, would be no problem, but in their pony forms they couldn't deal with...So Sunburst came up with a plan. That apparently involved a lot of math.

"Alright...I take it the bathroom I'm in would have a mirror possibly 1 meter by 1 meter wide?" asked Sunburst.

Twlight, the GM, nodded. "Yes..."

"Alright...I take the mirror off the wall and hold it out the window pointing it to reflect sunlight on Starlight," he said.

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. "And what exactly would that do?"

"Well going by the inverse square law, and 12 percent of the sun's light is reflected off the moon during a full moon, and the fact I'm currently 89 meters away from Starlight's character, that means the amount of sunlight I am currently reflecting onto her eyes would measure 1 Lux, or the exact same amount of reflected sunlight as the full moon would project into her eyes!" Sunburst explained excitedly, showing his math. "So she should transform, right?"

Twilight opened her mouth to talk. "...I...I'm actually impressed by your math, I'll allow it..."

Sunburst gave an adorkable smile. "Yes!"

"...My head hurts..." Rainbow Dash said.

OOC: Inspired by this: youtu.be/xXfrc5uccio

Session 73.17 Ardashir

While her new employer battled against some of the mutated players of his game, ex-Principal Cinch headed for the door. She wondered where that succubus Chrysalis and her brood was at. Probably drinking someone's blood after seducing them, Cinch thought viciously as she dashed behind an overturned table for cover.

"I knew something like this would happen," she told herself, teeth chattering in fear as she rested a moment. A blast of magic hit the wall a few feet overhead. Chunks of plaster rained down around her as Cinch hurried to a new hiding place. "Why was society ever fool enough to repeal the laws on witchcraft? Bring back the ducking stool and stake, I say!"

"Principal Cinch!"

"WHAAAA!" Cinch looked around in horror. That voice sounded familiar. A mental image of the monstrous and ungrateful Midnight Sparkle coming after her raced through her mind. Then she saw who it was and relaxed. "Girls! Sour Sweet, Sugarcoat, Indigo, Lemon Zest, Sunny Flare! What are you doing here?"

The girls were in the shadows by a door leading outside and to blessed safety. The flashes of light from the magical battle -- the mere thought made her groan, she'd almost been done with that snide and well-paid therapist. Sunny Flare made a come-here gesture in her direction.

"Please, Ms. Cinch, come here! We came to rescue you. We want to repay you for all the favors you did for us!"

Cinch needed hear no more. She waited for a moment when Sombra seemed more interested in taunting his youthful adversaries then in throwing crystal shrapnel around. When it came she leaped to her feet and ran for her life.

She expected something horrible to happen until the door slammed shut behind her.

"Oh, girls," she said, doubled up and breathing heavily in her exhaustion. "At least some of you remember what I did for you..."

Se looked up and froze. Their eyes seemed to glow crimson in the darkened hall; their smiles revealed the triangular fangs of some aquatic predator. And were patches of their skin scaly?

"We also remember what you did to us," Sugarcoat said, her voice a near snarl.

"Like how you nearly got us all killed at the last Friendship Games," Indigo gave a smile like a hungry shark's.

"Years of telling me my musical choices sucked," Lemon Zest hissed.

"And all the times you told me I didn't need my meds, because I was so much more energetic without them?" Sour Sweet smiled and then, her eyes blazing: "We came here to find YOU!"

Cinch looked wildly around the hall. A window nearby looked like the gates of paradise.

Cinch snatched up a chair and followed it through the window before she remembered she was on the third floor. Her shriek ended with a howl of pain as she landed in the magnificently thorny rose bushes Rabia had planted here and that Sombra kept for some strange reason.

Clothes torn, hair wild, scratched and bloody, Cinch leaped to her feet and raced into the night until she dropped from utter exhaustion.

Behind her, the Shadowbolt Sirens watched from the window as their old headmistress ran away.

"So," Sour Sweet said, "anyone else think we should have explained that due to our newfound love of hatefulness and cruelty, we wanted to thank her for teaching us how the world really worked?"

"Bit late now," Sugarcoat said. "You girls haven't gotten any smarter by becoming monsters."

Session 73.18 MtangaLion

The ground beneath the school shook, knocking books off shelves and potted plants off a desk… and oddly, water began to flood the room, trickling under one of the doors.

The human Twilight adjusted her glasses. “The Sirens are backing up the toilets now? How immature.”

Tempest Shadow chuckled, then threw back her head and laughed. “Friends, enemies… it doesn’t matter now. The final boss is on his way.”

The possessed Fluttershy squirmed beneath Sunset. “Dra-Gon comes! All will drown beneath the black waves...” The eerie glow in her eyes suddenly cleared. “What… what is that… Help me! Get it away!” Her siren crystal shattered.

Sunset was thrown off her by the backlash, but instead of hitting the ground, she floated in a surge of rainbow light. In the eyepatches, her friends saw Sunset’s Harmony meter shoot up to nearly two-thirds full all at once. “Wow. Okay, we’re gonna have a problem.”

Gilda snorted, rolling her eyes. “What problem? You’ve got all the magic super-gems back in friendly hands.” She sighed. “It’s okay, I’ll just stand out of the way somewhere while you give him the great big rainbow kerplowy to the face.”

Rainbow clapped a hand on Gilda’s shoulder. “Whoa, what are you talking about? We need all the help we can get!”

Gilda blinked. “But…”

Princess Twilight grinned, raising a fist. “I know I’ll be helping. If Vinyl and Sunset can jump in at the last minute, then so can we!”

“But… you’ve got your own magic rock back home!” said Gilda. “I don’t! Dash’s was just a loaner…”

Rainbow grinned. “You think I care about that? You didn’t have to be here and risk your life saving me, Gilda. Heck, you know where the portal to Equestria is. You could have noped right on out of here.”

“I’d never!” snarled Gilda. “Whoa…” (Bonus Harmony awarded) scrolled up the game screens. (Purified friend. Awakened Loyalty.) She was hovering, griffon wings spread wide, and her centurion armor and two-handed hammer glowed, picking up more jewels and golden accents. Gilda looked herself over. “If these magic clothes turn into a frilly dress with ribbons, I might just have to pummel all the witnesses. Just saying.”

Sunset coughed awkwardly… now floating in a frilly golden dress with a horn and wings made of pure light. “Well, I can’t say that never happens…”

Session 73.19 Jarkes

"FEAR NOT CITIZENS OF CANTERLOT!" a familiar voice called out.

"Is that..." Sunset said, before seeing a familiar yellow girl run out in front of them.

"Juniper Montage?" Sci-Twi finished the thought.

"...Who?" Princess Twilight asked.

"Long story," Sunset replied. "Juniper, what are you doing?"

Juniper, for some reason, was wearing a rather cheap-looking pith helmet alongside her usual outfit, like she had been rushing to do a Daring Do cosplay before deciding to only bother with the helmet.

"I, DARING DO, WILL STOP THESE SAVAGE FIENDS FROM TERRORIZING THIS CITY!" Juniper yelled, striking several "action" poses...

Only for one of the sirenified students to shoot a beam at her and send her flying.

"...Ow," Juniper muttered weakly.

Session 73.20 Kendell2

"So this game is about what now?" asked Applejack, looking at the game.

"It's called 'For Want of a Nail', and it deals with creating a logical outcome for an alteration to one small detail in the past and following it to the present," Twilight explained. "Then playing out a life in that timeline. Possibly including saving the world."

"Didn't every time Starlight did that result in a bad guy winning?" asked Rainbow Dash. "...No offense..."

"None taken...And that was altering the past and creating time paradoxes, this is changing things and thinking out how things would be different," Starlight replied.

"Oh! I've got one!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

Twilight stared at the timeline and board they'd ultimately ended up making. "I don't know what's scarier, the fact that 'What if Maud didn't find Boulder' somehow resulted in a timeline where she took over Equestria..."

The board presented 'Queen Maud' ruling Equestria with a stone hoof...and the same exact deadpan expression as she had at all times.

"Or the fact it makes complete and logical sense..."

"Well she did tell me that if you had the right rock you could rule Equestria..." Starlight said nervously.

OOC: I admit, I wanted to go further, but that joke seemed too perfect to ruin.

Session 73.21 Alex Warlorn

"So Sunset, what was it like inside Fluttershy's mind?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Well, I can't share details about a parasitic younger brother or parents that never taught her how to stand up for herself, or how she found a twisted role model in Gilda unconsciously since Gilda never let anyone push her around, but at the same time not wanting to be like her with her gruff attitude, resulting in conflicting sides of herself that she buried as deep as she could go... and it manifested as the end boss to a point and click adventure because Fluttershy deep within still refused to kill anyone, and dying doesn't normally happen in a lot of point and click adventures ... and I was left with hours of compressed time randomly trying to combine items and touch every pixel of the universe one spot at a time and trying to open, close, speak, take, look, eat, everything, hearing a voice saying 'you can't do that' over and over and over, with a simulation of Adagio taunting me every few minutes... But after this I really think I wanna play something require minimal thinking."

Session 73.22 Alex Warlorn

Juniper Montage was left twitching where she'd fallen... in the sight of her AR eyepatch, a deformed purple pony with a helicopter beanie flew into her view.

"Hello... would you like to buy our exclusive deal official Daring Do DLC character? You can buy the shoes, pants, shirt, hat, whip, and other features for 2 dollars each, or you can buy the whole set for $19.00..."

Session 73.23 MtangaLion

Gilda grinned, nudging Rainbow. "You hear that? Me, a role model! Say, maybe I should teach Flutters how a REAL tough girl does things. Like, I don't know... turning into that Dire Bear and kicking butt instead of getting turned against us like a dope!"

Sunset poked Gilda. "You can't do that."

Gilda rolled her eyes. "Oh, I get it. Adventure game trauma. Real cute."

Poke. "You can't do that." Poke. "You can't do that." Poke...

Gilda gritted her teeth. "Hey, that stings when you're all powered up! Snap out of it!" She drew back her hand to slap some sense into Sunset.

Fluttershy intercepted her, smiling. "Please, Gilda, let me." Then huge bear paws grasped Sunset's shoulders and lifted her up. "SUNSET, WE'LL TALK ABOUT THAT LATER, OKAY? WE HAVE TO FIGHT THE SIRENS NOW." Fluttershy the Dire Bear gasped and covered her muzzle. "Oh! Was that too much?"

"That's... just fine!" said Sunset, teeth chattering a bit. "I'm okay now!"

Starlight gawked. "Aliens AND lycanthropes!"

Rainbow folded her arms. "Should we tell her that some of us can fly, too?"

The Twilights facepalmed in unison.

Session 73.24 Kendell2

TIMELINE A

"Not lycanthropes! Fluttershy is a shapeshifter because she retains her sense of self and can't infect anyone with the transformation...also it's due to some crazy magical glitch we still don't underrstand..." Twilight replied. "And again, we're MAGES! Not aliens!"

"Actually, Twilight, since you're from another universe, doesn't that kinda make you an alien?" asked Pinkie Pie.

"I...Okay, technically me and Sunset are EXTRADIMENSIONAL aliens, but the rest of us aren't," said Princess Twilight. "Not important right now!"

"Starlight, she has a point!" Sunburst pointed out.

"Something big is coming..." said Sunset. "We need to stop Adagio and the Sirens NOW!"

"Girls!" Gloriosa exclaimed, still trying to hold off the extra sirens with her vines and visibly straining. "Help!"

Rainbow Dash gave it thought...then face palmed. "EVERYONE! THERE'S A SPECIAL SECRET BOSS DOWN IN THE ABANDONED QUARRY OUTSIDE OF TOWN! BONUS POINTS FOR EVERYONE!" she exclaimed. The replica Sirens gasped and practically (and somewhat literally) beat each other up to leave and go after it. "...If I ever get that competitive again, slap me!"

Twilight facehoofed. "Use their mania against them...why didn't I think of that?"

"Hurry! We need to stop the Sirens! Now!" Sci Twi yelled, the group rushing out.

Twilight looked to Tempest, who seemed unsure of WHAT to do at this point. "...You can come with us you know..."

"..."

Twilight slowly backed out. "...It's never too late for friendship...trust me, I didn't become a good friend until I was a grown up," she said, slowly leaving with the others to deal with the world conquering witches.

"Is it fully charged yet?!" Sombra asked, blasting back another Siren.

"...Yes!" Radiant called, hitting the button.

Rainbow colored light circled around her in game self and turned into golden armor with pink colored gem stones, the Harmony gauge now reading 'Harmonic Burst'. she quickly began blasting the Sirens with magic that both directly effected them AND began purifying them at the same time. "Okay! I think it's working!"

"Good..." Sombra said. "...Hopefully those kids who Cinch kept saying 'ruined everything' do it again..." he said, having read into what she said enough to get 'ruined everything' meant 'fix her mess and let her suffer the consequences for her decision'. But she was an old friend, what else was he supposed to do when she needed a job?

"Adagio! They're coming!" said Sonata as they had some brainwashed people weighting on them hand and foot.

Adagio chuckled. "Oh well, it was fun while it lasted..." she said, getting up. "Time to deal with a pest problem," she said, rising up. "They're not beating us this time. Not with what we have in store this time!"

Session 73.25 Ardashir

TIMELINE B

"And Gilda, be careful!" Sci-Twi barely dodged another sonic blast from another Siren. They seemed to be getting empowered, becoming more vicious. And she didn't like the chants they were making.

"HE is coming! Father is coming! Dra-Gon will arise!" Three nearby Sirens half sang as they hurled more sonic lances at the Element Bearers, the piercing shrieks making her teeth ache as they sliced through earth and concrete like knives. Dark and brackish water gushed in from somewhere. "Make this world a worthy home for him!"

They scattered as Gilda flew through them, her hammer swinging. Ember barked support from below.

"Hey, don't worry about me!" Gilda yelled back. She dodged a pair of blasts. "I'm untouchable, toots! I --"

A sonic blast took her in the face sending the boastful Gilda to the ground.

She looked up, her eyes spinning, to see that deformed purple pony that always was on Discord's screen at the company smiling at her.

"Hi, have you considered buying the Healing Hands upgrade for your armor?" She waved something that looked like a holographic white breastplate with a red cross on it. "Only $29.99 a month, heals every injury!"

Gilda stared at her in disbelief. "This may be the end of the world here, and you're selling in-game buffs ta people?"

"Hey, if the world doesn't end tonight, I still have to go to work tomorrow!"

***

Not far away, the Dazzlings shuddered as a new and terrible voice filled their minds. It seemed to rise from deep in their brains, like some antediluvian predator from an oceanic trench. "PREPARE THE WAY FOR ME, MY DAUGHTERS, MY CREATURES, MY SLAVES. BE FAITHFUL TO YOUR FATHER."

"O-okay," Sonata gulped.

"Yes, of course, sire," Aria added, her voice small and fearful.

"Sure," Adagio said, barely restraining herself from adding, 'Master'. When that presence left her mind, she hissed, "Okay, I didn't think Dra-Gon was gonna try and get involved -- but if he wants to kill MY enemies for me, so be it!"

"Come on, you two!" Adagio snarled at Sonata and Aria. "Now it's time to finish this!"

Session 73.26 Kendell2

"So you've played O&O before, darling?" asked Rarity.

"Sort of..." said Tempest, rubbing her head. "The Storm King's version...which I can already tell changed a lot of things to make himself and his forces look awesome..."

"Well then this should be fun," Rainbow Dash said. "Come on, let's get started..."

As per usual, Pinkie Pie was an Earth Pony Bard. Stats: Charisma 16, Dexterity 15, Constitution: 14, Wisdom 14, Strength 14, Intelligence 13

Applejack was an Earth Pony Ranger. Stats: Charisma 12, Dexterity 14, Wisdom 14, Constitution 12, Strength 12, Intelligence 11

Rainbow Dash was a Pegasus Barbarian. Stats: Charisma 12, Dexterity 13, Wisdom 10, Constitution 18, Strength 14, Intelligence 10

Fluttershy was a Pegasus Druid. Stats: Charisma 11, Dexterity 15, Wisdom 16, Constitution 14, Strength 11, Intelligence 11

Rarity was a Unicorn Monk. Stats: Charisma 14, Dexterity 15, Wisdom 14, Constitution 14, Strength 12, Intelligence 13.

Tempest took awhile to figure out her class, as most of them were different than the Storm King's version of it. She finally settled on a Unicorn Fighter. Stats: Charisma 12, Dexterity 13, Wisdom 11, Constitution 13, Strength 15, Intelligence 10.

Starlight was visiting Sunburst and Twilight was GM.

The plot was simple, they were on a quest to discover and defeat a dark wizard trying to conquer the world before he could acquire an evil artifact to conquer the world. The problem is, all they knew was there was a dark wizard trying to conquer the world with an evil artifact, Twilight wanted to make finding it out part of the challenge.

So thus began their attempt to find out...well, anything.

This resulted in them finding a suspicious looking villager sneaking around and confronting them.

"What do you do?" asked Twilight.

"I tell him to tell me what he knows or I'll make him," Tempest replied. She blinked, seeing the stares she got. "...What?"

"Do an Intimidation check."

Tempest rolled...and got a 1.

She had a rank 3 Intimidation (her other two skills being a rank 2 Climb and a rank 3 Jump) and was half a head taller than the villager (giving her a +4 bonus), was Level 1 and her Charisma of 12 gave her a +1, meaning 4 + 3 + 1 + 1 equaling...9.

Twilight did the rolls for the NPC. They had a (dice roll decided) Wisdom of 13 (coming to a +1), were level 3, and rolled...a 10. So 1 + 3 + 10.

"You trip while intimidating him...but he says the dark wizard is staying at the inn outside of town," said Twilight.

"See? It worked, didn't it?" asked Tempest.

"..."

Tempest groaned, noticing the looks, their party surrounded by an inn full of bandits rather than an evil warlock. "I failed the roll, didn't I?"

"You think?!" asked Rainbow Dash.

Session 73.27 Alex Warlorn

"Oh, for you it's 30 percent off!" Screwball said.

"Huh? Why me?" Gilda asked.

"Employee discount."

"Oh."

--

"Well... Dad's is on the verge of manifesting in this reality... " Sonata said. "Do you think he'll power us up even more, or do you think the Rainboom will just be reduced to drooling lunatics when they lay eyes on him? I've always wanted to see if that was true!"

Session 73.28 Kendell2

"Why exactly do they let us do this down here?" asked the Storm King (or more accurately the ghost of the Storm King, as he lacked any way to make his soul have a corporal presence after death) as an imp shuffled a deck of cards in the middle of the group.

Across from Storm King was Tirek. In another cage was the bound soul of King Sombra, and forming a square with the other three was Tirek's computer projecting Chrysalis's face with an imp acting as her hands.

Tirek shrugged. "Something about gambling and sin...And also..." he said, pointing to two other inmates who were put in the same cage after a poker game and trying to kill each other (which they obviously couldn't do, given they were already dead or in the place they'd go to when they died). "That happens a lot...don't worry, I'm not stupid enough to try and kill a ghost."

"Oh...What are we betting with? We're kinda dead...and in Tartarus...We can't even bet our souls at this point!"

"Hours of tormenting other souls," said Tirek. "Instead of being TORMENTED by other souls..."

"...Visiting hours..." Sombra muttered.

"Oh...But Chrysalis isn't dead!" Storm King exclaimed.

Chrysalis scoffed. "I know where I'm going when someone finally does me in, I'm saving up."

"Room for one more?"

The group jumped as Discord...was just there.

"What are you doing here?!" asked Chrysalis, growling. "You're a 'good guy'...for all that's worth."

"One, because this looked like fun, two because I annoy the three of you I hate with my mere existence..."

Tirek growled. "Of course."

"Three, because this burns off my sadistic urges in benevolent ways, and four, I needed something to do while Smooze is ironing my invisible socks...I hope he doesn't light my house on fire...again. Funny thing, in Chaosville fire FREEZES things..."

"...And why exactly should we let YOU play exactly?" asked Tirek, Sombra seeming apathetic to Discord and Storm King...wondering who he even was.

"Because I have actual COMFORTS to wager," said Discord, holding up a delicious looking steak (from nonsapient cattle naturally).

"...Touche..."

"And come on now! Surely we can shoot the breeze a little," Discord said, as the imp dealt the cards...and 'killed' Storm King's, resulting a ghost of each card rising up for him to use. "We have to have SOMETHING we can talk about."

"Literally all we have in common is the fact we tried to murder and/or defeat Twilight Sparkle and her friends and take over Equestria," said Chrysalis.

"Well then let's talk about THAT then," said Discord, looking at his cards. "Come on now, we've all got an 'almost got 'em' story, don't we? And I was only around for Tirek's and Chrysalis's second go around, none of us overlap in our attempts, so let's have some fun telling how we almost won 'if it weren't for those meddling ponies'...And telling them from OUR perspective might put a nice little twist on it. After all, our lovely viewers only see things from the outside, hearing it from the horse's mouth...or Yetis...wow, am I the only one who noticed the distinct lack of non-equine related bad guys in this show?" he asked. "But perhaps it'd be interesting to hear our perspectives on how we almost got 'em would be fun...Plus our collective egos are the size of Equus, surely talking about ourselves is one thing we're good at...Or bragging about who came the closest."

The four villains looked at each other. "...I'm game for that..." Chrysalis said.

OOC: Basically, this is a parody of the Batman the Animated Series episode 'Almost Got 'Im' . Basically the villains playing poker while talking about how they almost beat the mane cast and won, with the unique factor being it's from THEIR POV and how THEY saw their confrontations with the mane six, while also working off each other. I'll add more if no one else does, but I think this could be fun.

Session 73.29 Alex Warlorn

"So where do we go?"

Pinkie Pie asked, "So Gilda, do you get a magic butt tattoo when you Grffin-up?"

"WHAT?!" Gilda squawked.

"Oh! When we pony-up, we get magical butt tattoos, Fluttershy found out after she ponied up from singing in the shower."

"PINKIE PIE!" Fluttershy blushed.

"So where do we go?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I'd say that way darling." Rarity pointed at the part of town with red unholy lightning shooting up into the sky. With dark clouds spreading beyond the town spreading corruptive magic on all that its shadow fell upon.

"Hold on!" Both Twilights said at once. "Before we do anything, we need a head count, we can't rush in there forgetting somepony, I mean someone! So everyone, everypony, sound off your name!!!!"

"Do either of you have a credit card number? You look like you could use some help!" Screwball said helpfully to Sweetie Belle and Button Mash against an army of Siren Apple Bloom and Siren Scootaloo's obvious rip-offs of Guardians from Legend of Cadence Whinny of the Wild.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 73.0 Alex Warlorn
Session 73.1 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 73.2 Kendell2
Session 73.3 MtangaLion
Session 73.4 Alex Warlorn
Session 73.5 MtangaLion
Session 73.6 Jarkes
Session 73.7 Alex Warlorn
Session 73.8 Alex Warlorn
Session 73.9 Kendell2
Session 73.10 Kendell2
Session 73.11 Alex Warlorn
Session 73.12 Alex Warlorn
Session 73.13 Alex Warlorn
Session 73.14 MtangaLion
Session 73.15 Ardashir
Session 73.16 Kendell2
Session 73.17 Ardashir
Session 73.18 MtangaLion
Session 73.19 Jarkes
Session 73.20 Kendell2
Session 73.21 Alex Warlorn
Session 73.22 Alex Warlorn
Session 73.23 MtangaLion
Session 73.24 Kendell2 TIMELINE A
Session 73.25 Ardashir TIMELINE B
Session 73.26 Kendell2
Session 73.27 Alex Warlorn
Session 73.28 Kendell2
Session 73.29 Alex Warlorn

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Picture by Celebi-Yoshi used with permission.

https://alexwarlorn.deviantart.com/art/Ponies-of-a-Skyrimish-nature-347775913

Session 74

"Okay, the eight of us, two Twilight Sparkles included, Sunburst, Starlight, Gloriosa, and Gilda..." said Sunset, counting. "And three Super Sirens..."

"Did Adagio say..."

"I don't care what Adagio said, she's an evil supervillain trying to take over the world," said the fiery haired teenager. "Plus I like Pinkie Pie's name better..."

"Do we need musical instruments this time?" asked Fluttershy.

"No, we need video games," replied Sunset. "Music beats music, so logically video games trump video games."

"So not rock beats scissors, more a backfire destroys a big fire?" Starlight asked.

"More like how if two waves collide, the bigger one beats the smaller one..." said Princess Twilight.

"Okay...Gloriosa has Equestrian magic and so does Gilda, so they're safe from the Siren's song, but you two aren't, keep those headphones we made on..." said Sunset. "Let's save the world..."

"So, are they coming?" asked Aria.

"Looks like..." said Adagio, smirking. "Of course what is a final boss without a final dungeon?"

The trio gave a smirk, floating up, eyes glowing red and digital lines spreading out from them and covering the surrounding area as they sang a worldless vocal.

The Mane Six and company gasped as they ran up to the building only for digital lines to stretch out and upwards, forming a towering palace that looked right out of r'lyeh towering high above them.

"...Please tell me that's just in my eyepatch..." said Rainbow Dash. The group took their eyepatches on and off only to find it existed in reality.

"...That's so not good..." said Applejack.

"Daddy!" yelled Screwball, floating in front her (currently Draconequued up) father. "I can touch things!" she exclaimed, touching things on his desk.

Discord blinked, the two reaching out and touching hand to hoof.

"...On one hand, awesome! On the other, that means the game is breaking through more into the real world...which is bad..." Discord muttered.

"...Can I hug you?"

"...Sure honey."

The group began fighting through the final dungeon, finding that while their stats still carried over into reality the monsters were ALSO real, and only vanished when slain or purified (which they were doing as often as possible to build up the gauge).

"On the bright side, you girls get to level up a bit!" said Rainbow Dash. "Since...well...sorry for playing alone so much..." she said, blasting back a monster for a purification spell to deal with it.

"Already forgiven," Sunset replied, blasting back several 'Deep Stalkers' and Fluttershy purifying them. Which turned them into normal fish. "But I think it's a serious problem that the game is becoming REAL!"

"Adagio and her school were already so powerful it took the Pillars of Old Equestria to unite to defeat them in Equestria and even then they could only banish them, not beat them," said Princess Twilight. "They might be STRONGER than they were when they were defeated back then!"

"Thankfully, we have the Elements, they didn't," Sunset replied, purifying a monster thrown up by Rainbow Dash.

"Yes, but the Sirens also have those techno upgrades," Twilight replied. "We need to be careful. If we don't beat them, not only will they be stronger than ever, they'll have an army of video game monsters to fight with."

"So...the military won't be very helpful, will it?" asked Starlight.

"While no one ever tried shooting them, the military would just fall under their spell and start shooting EACH OTHER..." was the Princess's response. "Plus, given how much force I've seen things on their level take, I don't think bullets would phase them too much!"

"Enough talkin'! More fightin'!" said Applejack, using her ultimate attack, which given she was playing as Rockhoof, was a massive shockwave that cleared the floor. "Let's just get to the top and finish this already!"

"Adagio, I'm bored..." said Sonata.

"Don't worry, the entertainment will be here in a few seconds,..." Adagio said, smirking as the group emerged up the stairs into the throne room.

"Adagio! Enough! Just stop this already!" Sunset yelled as the group prepared to fight.

"Why? Because we can just 'be friends'?" asked Adagio, getting off her throne and walking forwards. "We Sirens have been stuck on this rock for thousands of years, do you really think we're going to change in a DAY?" she asked, giving a chuckle. "Besides, do you REALLY think we're doing much to these dumb apes? Do you have ANY idea how often they've tried to kill each other for EXISTING? And I thought the ponies of the Three Tribes Era gave us plenty of food. When we got here we just said 'WITCH!' pointed our fingers and the people were ready to kill each other. If anything, we're just making all that pointless hate serve a productive purpose."

"...We ponies learned, the humans can too. There's nothing different but we had winter spirits trying to kill us with our own hatred," Princess Twilight replied.

"Then maybe you should let us run this rock for a few years, then see if they've changed," replied Adagio with a chuckle.

"...Okay, since when do yah care about human nature?" Applejack asked.

"I don't, but we are the driving villain of a video game, wouldn't be right without some commentary on the human condition," said Adagio. "All that's missing is me saying 'Celestia is a false god and should die' for it to be a perfect speech." She noticed Twilight and Sunset's glare at that. "Oh, did I hit a nerve? Come on, ponies do that back home, would it really be out of place?"

"Let's just get this over with..." said Sunset, the group taking a battle pose.

"Fine...Welcome to the show..." said Adagio as a boss theme began playing, the trio floating up and three heath bars materializing over their heads as they crackled with lightning.

Session 74.1 Grogar-the-oneser

meanwhile

"Should I, or shouldn't I?" Wallpaper muttered as she held the stone in her hand. She looked out the window out all the sirens outside, she was tempted to use the stone to remove the memories of the game. "But they might go crazy, wondering why the heck they're all monsters. Then again I could tell them it's a certain jerk fault!"

But then Wallflower grimaced. "But then again... there's two different magic inside the game, I don't know what the heck a third type would do. For all I know, it might cause a massive computer crash that might kill everyone. And I ain't that desperate for attention."

"You know what, I'll just wait and see, when the victor emerges, then I will strike. Maybe," Wallpaper said calmly.

Session 74.2 Mtangalion

Apple Bloom the Siren flew higher, floating next to the colossal spider mech piloted by Scootaloo. "We can show off all day, Button, but that won't convince me Ah should be a powerless schoolgirl again, doing her homework while our sisters have all the fun!"

Button Mash's Gloom Marine armor turned into pixels and dissolved away, leaving him in his ordinary school clothes... with pony ears and bronze-feathered wings. He pushed his propeller beanie crown back on his head and struck a dramatic pose, pointing at Bloom. "I have not even begun to show off!"

Unexpectedly, Sweetie Belle cried out... the golden glove on her right hand was glowing. "Dra-Gon... Dra-Gon is almost here! Oh, Button, it's going to be horrible!"

Bloom's jaw dropped. "Dra-Gon's coming here himself? We've wasted too much time on this dangblasted fighting with each other."

Button breathed a sigh of relief. "Finally, something we agree on-"

Bloom grinned. "That's why you need to hurry up and become Sirens like us, so we can destroy Dra-Gon together."

Sweetie and Button gawked, literally getting "..." bubbles floating over their heads. "Seriously?" asked Sweetie.

"Darn straight!" boasted Bloom. "We can do it. We have the technology!" The giant mech started popping out one gadget after another. "EMP grenades! Fresh-water cannon! Anti-sonic nullifiers!" She swooped down, hovering over Button. "Actually, we're just asking ya to join to be nice. Compared to Dra-Gon, Ah figure ya'll will be nothing but a speed bump, once we get serious."

Button took a deep breath, then stood up straighter, grinning ominously. "You still haven't felt it, huh? I guess I have to spell it out for you."

Sweetie shivered, taking a step back. "B-Button? Button, you're scaring me a little..."

Button spread his arms wide. "The video game world is merging more and more with the real world. I'm the game master. That means..." The ground shook and rumbled, and a full-scale replica of Grumbledorf's crystal castle rose, lifting him and Sweetie up even higher than the giant spider mech. "I can do just about anything. Bwa-ha... Bwahaha- huh?"

Sweetie had her hands on his shoulders, shaking him. "Button Mash, please, you can't! Please don't destroy the world!"

Button blinked several times. "Um... why would I do that?"

Sweetie fumed at him. "Because that's what people always do in RPGs when they get super godlike powers."

Button tried to think of a great comeback, and unfortunately had to settle for "No they don't!"

"Do too!" insisted Sweetie. "It happened in pretty much every Last Fantasy game ever!"

Button lifted a finger and opened his mouth, then took off his beanie and scratched his head. "Hold on, let me think... Hrrm, tried to flood the world with darkness... Darkness again... Dad was a jerk so he threw a meteor at the planet... Tried to destroy everything for laughs... Tried to split his soul and rule heaven AND hell... Hey, the new one wasn't like that... oh wait, the bad guys were the gods already." He banged his head on the castle wall. "Okay, okay! Sweetie, I promise I won't destroy the world! Happy now?"

Meanwhile, Scootaloo was trying to work the giant mech controls, and getting increasingly frustrated when the switches and levers did nothing. "Come on, why can't I blow them up while they're busy talking- Oh. Duh." She clicked the loudspeaker on and yelled, "Talk faster!"

Session 74.3 All-Overboard

Sombra was annoyed. Fear abilities were getting them almost nowhere with several of the fish people getting on his nerves with sound attacks and constantly trying to catch him in their grip. Then six more popped out of the building revealing several new sirens.

The Shadowbolts had managed to swarm the sirens around them powering up and revealing their monstrous form. Just as they were about to sing Sombra stopped them.

"You know what. Nope!" Sombra immediately shouted as he powered up his horn and made to cast one of his broken spells which he didn't just get because he was the head of the company and signed all the paychecks for everyone in the building.

A large shadowed beam shot all around the siren turned students and crystals enveloped every single one of them covering them up to their mouths. The Shadowbolts were knocked off target by the sudden spell and struggled to get out of the crystals.

"Nope! Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope." Sombra chanted as he captured every single student that was assaulting his building and making him immensely unpleased.

"Honey! Are you okay?" Radiant shouted from the window.

"Yes dear! I'm just sick and tired of all these mother bucking kids attacking my mother bucking building is all!" Sombra replied clearly suppressing himself to some capacity.

"Thanks for not swearing either! I'll be making your favorite dinner tonight!" Radiant yelled out as she managed to get her harmony bar up to max and chain healed every single student that was out on her field.

~~~~~~~~

The now transformed Discord looked out his window and wondered if coding that would get him a raise. Screwball could certainly use a new hat now that the strange energy source had brought her out of the game world and into reality.

~~~~~~~~

Chrysalis was a bit peeved that she couldn't get anymore information from the creatures that Thorax had captured before it was turned back to normal but when the boss wanted something done it was best to be very thorough.

~~~~~~~~

Sombra looked over his handiwork and wondered just how powerful he was. He could become unto a god and rule the world as its king. Then Radiant came down to kiss him and he decided that having that family would be much more worth it in the end.

"So... did Snow make it so only my computer was the one that controlled everything?" Sombra carefully asked as they left all the students on the ground. It wasn't his problem anymore.

"Ah yes. He has 98% of the network secured to your computer. Somehow the last 2% is being very stubborn. It's as if someone physically wedged it open to allow their control to keep going. Tracking it down from here has been hard but someone did send me a text that the game world started to appear a little further downtown. I think over by Canterlot High." Radiant explained as they took the elevator back up to his office.

"Ah... well leave it to those girls Cinch talked about. Where is she anyways?" Sombra asked which Radiant could only shrug.

~~~~~~

"I gotta get out of this crazy town!" Cinch shouted as she kept running for the border.

Session 74.4 Kendell2 (and a bit added by me)

"So..." Tempest said, playing poker with Capper and Captain Celaeno. "The Princesses weren't happy to learn what Klugetown was doing with ponies...and unicorn horns?" the unicorn asked, clearly having a special kind of loathing for that.

"Yep...Paid a visit themselves..." Capper said, giving a laugh.

"ATTENTION NE'ER-DO-WELLS AND CRIMINALS!" announced Luna, the Princesses landing with a guard details. "WE HAVE BEEN INFORMED BY RELIABLE SOURCES THAT THEE HAVE BEEN SELLING PONIES AS SLAVES AND THEIR BODY PARTS! BY ORDER OF THE COSMIC COUNCIL, YOU ARE TO HAND OVER ANY SLAVES YOU HAVE AS WELL AS ANY REMAINS FOR PROPER BURIAL AND COOPERATE!"

"And what if we don't?" asked a certain fishman who'd clearly not learned his lesson from Tempest.

"Then we shall smite thee!" Luna announced.

"It's one of them and all of us, let's take them and ransom them, we can get a pretty Storm Buck for them," Verko, trying to get some street cred back after Capper and Captain Celaeno humiliated him on their way back to help the mane six.

Everyone took a few steps back as a massive storm cloud generated in the sky and Verko screamed as was struck by a bolt of lightning that lit up the entire area.

Luna looked down at the living, but blackened and twitching criminal laying in a scorch mark on the ground. "We are 'old school' in our smiting. Doth anyone else wish for us to smote them?"

The criminals and ne'er-do-wells gulped and slowly shook their heads.

Tempest laughed. "Oh why could I have been there?" she asked.

"It was a blast, especially for Verko," Capper replied with a chuckle, then put his hand down. "Royal Flush..."

The others groaned and folded. "What did I think would happen playing poker with a concat?" asked Tempest.

"FORMER concat," Capper said, collecting his winnings.

"Lulu!" Celestia shouted. "Is there a reason why all of Equestria's 'genuine pony hair' wig makers and violin makers are fleeing Equestria in terror?"

-

"But all I said was-" DJ PON-3 said holding a blue thread of her own tail to replace the broken string on Octavia's cello.

"Are you trying to get me arrested Vinyl?!"

Session 74.5 Alex Warlorn

"Luna, you just got an angry letter from the deer... apparently they don't like the idea that you'll be putting a stop to them selling their old shed antlers on the open market."

"Right now? We art defending our space station and colonies from a four prong attack from aliens from another universe!"

"WHAT?!"

"You really should try this new game, Halcyon 6, Celly."

"Very funny! Not really."

"And what are you doing opening my mail?"

Session 74.6 Ardashir

"What!" Twilight winced as Spike yelled. "What do you mean I can't sell my old molts any more?" In one claw he held up a set of scales that he'd shed just that morning, shimmering in the light. In the other he held a letter from the luggage company he'd sold them to before this. "Read this letter, Twi!"

"I don't need to," Twilight glanced at it anyway. 'Dear Mister Spike the Dragon, due to changes in Equestrian law we are forced to refuse to purchase your old scales...' "Spike, you know what Princess Luna did in Klugetown. I don't think she meant for it to cover situations like this, but until the law gets fine-tuned you'll just have to live with it."

"Ah, maybe I can sell them on the black market," Spike grumbled. He gulped as Twilight spun on him.

"What was that?"

"N-nothing!" Spike swallowed. "But until I find a new way to make some extra bits, game night may get a little sparse. Where do you think I was getting the bits to buy all the latest splatbooks and supplements?"

Neither noticed Garble listening from a doorway nearby.

"Wait, ponies will pay for our old molts?" He grinned, fangs gleaming.

Later that day

"You sure about this, Garble?" Ember glared at him. She held her old set of scales out to the smiling dragon. Behind her stood several other dragons, holding their own molts. "I'm not easy about letting somedragon else mess with my old scales." She looked at it as she handed the molt over; it looked almost like an emptied-out dragon costume.

"I swear, the ponies promised they'll give dispose of them respectfully." Garble smiled. "Hey, you can trust me. Would I cheat another dragon?"

Session 74.7 Grogar-the-oneser

Ember gave a annoyed look

"Alright maybe I would, but i swear this is MOSTLY on the level."

"You better be telling the truth or else I'll do to you what Ursa major do to anyone stupid enough to hurt there cubs."

"You have my word."

"THAT I GOT STINKING RICH!" Garble cackled as he rolled in the black market money.

"Okay Luna this has gone far enough, three countries are threatening to attack due to the fact that they can't sell their wears due to the embargo. Millions of bald ponies are threatening to sue the royal family due to all their wigs being confiscated, with Cranky leading the bloody charge and the black market is now thriving!"

"What tis your point?" Luna asked.

"MY POINT? MY POINT IS WE NEED TO REVISE THAT LAW BEFORE THIS GET EVEN MORE STUPIDLY COMPLICATED!" Celestia snapped.

"I think your overreacting." Luna scoffed. "What's the worse that could happen." Suddenly a monster size Garble (Or at least his head) broke through the castle roaring. "That prove's nothing."

Session 74.8 Alex Warlorn

"Who is Garble selling those dragon molts all to?!"

"... LARPers."

Session 74.9 Kendell2

"Hmm..." said Adagio, tapping her chin. "We do see a tad outnumbered. Granted, we're powered up pretty high, but why take chances?" she asked. "Sonata, call in our little friend..."

Sonata gave an almost Pinkie Pie look of excitement and nodded, giving a whistle.

The group gasped as Trixie emerged from the darkness, smirking and more 'completely' transformed than the other Sirens were. For starters, she had an actual Siren 'familiar' projected behind her resembling a siren version of her Equestrian self.

"Trixie?!" asked the group.

"Sonata's idea," said Adagio with a smirk. "I was a bit hesitant at first, especially when she tried to usurp me as Alpha, but I do admit: she has the heart of a siren, so it seemed fitting to level her up a little..."

"Come on, Rainbow Dash, did you really think our rivalry was done?" Trixie question with a smirk. "You will never defeat the Great and Powerful Trixie!"

"...Gilda, can you handle helping fight Adagio and her sisters?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Why? Cause I know how the game works because I work at the company?" asked Gilda.

"That and I know TRIXIE better than anyone else..." said Rainbow Dash, flying over to face the blue Siren.

Starlight and Sunburst decided to hang back and be support, casting healing spells, as unlike the other combatants they had no magical superpowers and were simply mortal humans who temporally gained super powers from the video game.

The 'Super Sirens' flew up and began firing down sonic blasts, forcing the Human Seven and company to take evasive action.

Trixie and Rainbow Dash clashed harmonic beams with sonic blasts.

"These kinds of games were made for us, weren't they Trixie?" Rainbow Dash asked. "They're MADE to glorify egos!"

"You've got that right!" Trixie cackled.

"Yeah...so, when's the last time you met with Lavender Lace and Fuchsia Blush without trying to rip their heads off?"

Sunset and Adagio collided harmonic beams and digitized soundwaves...and Sunset found herself quickly losing ground until both Twilights and Gloriosa flew in and added their own beams and forced it back into a somewhat stalemate.

"The fact it's taking four of us to hold off just Adagio is not a promising start!" Princess Twilight exclaimed.

"Point taken!"

Applejack and Gilda took on Aria in a straight up flying brawl, slamming into each other and throwing one another across the room, punching one another into walls, but it was clear it took both of them just to match her.

Sonata's fighting style could best be described as 'weaponized insanity', fighting like even she didn't know what she would do next. As one of her opponents was Pinkie Pie, it left Rarity essentially trying to throw in more skilled, practiced blows whenever she got an opening, but largely simply evening the odds for Pinkie Pie to fight her head on.

"Okay, this is getting us nowhere..." said Gilda, blocking a punch from Aria and being forced back while Fluttershy busied herself trying to interfere in any way she could and help. "It's like we're two tanks fighting each other!"

"Pardon?" asked Applejack as she punched Aria back.

"Two big tough tanks trying to beat each other, goes on forever and doesn't get anywhere," replied Gilda.

"Yeah, time tah pull out the big guns!" said Applejack, glowing orange and ripping a huge piece of floor out of the ground and hurling it at Aria, slamming her across the room.

"Wow, how do you do that?" asked Gilda, looking herself over.

"Just focus on the whole Element thing, you should have one given yah've been around Rainbow's Geode and have your armor and stuff."

Gilda nodded and focused, launching forwards and Aria freed herself, the Griffon suddenly launching at high speeds and slamming her into the wall. "Awesome!"

Aria growled. "Two can play that game..." she said, focusing and summoning her Siren familiar, which seemed to have gone through a cyborg makeover and formed a battle aura around her rather than simply hovering above her. She gave a smirk and picked up the piece of scenery Applejack had thrown at her and threw it right back just as hard, if not harder, launching Applejack across the room before moving at super speed and smashing into Gilda, launching her back too.

"No fair! You get two powers?!" asked Gilda.

"Adagio programmed to take on the seven idiots," said Aria. "Did you really think we'd take on seven powers with only three?"

Rarity growled. "Alright, I have had enough of this!" she said, blocking one of Sonata's kicks with one of her diamond barriers.

"Oh! Powers time!" said Pinkie, pulling out a bag of marshmallows and charging them before throwing them at Sonata, the resulting explosion blowing her back and knocking her into a wall.

"Oh! We're pulling out the cool powers now! Fun!" Sonata called, her Familiar doing the same thing as Arias. She laughed, forming the resulting soundwaves into spheres and throwing them, causing explosions on impact that knocked the two away. Pinkie Pie threw marshmallow bombs at her, but a long sung note formed into a barrier around herself to protect her. "Adagio is mean, like really mean, but she's pretty smart!"

Sunset growled, flying up and around Adagio's beam and exchanging blows with her. She caught Adagio's wrist and got a look inside her head, using it to dodge the follow up and kick her up into the air, at which point Princess Twilight blasted her with magic and Gloriosa and Sci Twi used vines and telekinesis to hurl objects at her and knock her across the room.

Adagio growled, getting back to her feet. "Fine, you want to fight with weird powers? Then I can play that game!" she said, her Familiar doing the same thing as her sisters. She smirked and sang a song as Sunset prepared to fire a beam at her, only for her arms to glow red and be pulled to fire at the others, blasting them away.

"Sunset!" Sci Twi called.

"Ah! Can't control my arms!" said Sunset as her beam wouldn't stop and was pulled towards the two. Sci Twi used her telekinesis to force her arms away as Adagio had to stop her note.

Gloriosa tried to summon vines to attack Adagio, but the Siren seemed to sense her attack coming and dodged, using the same song to force her to send her vines up at Sunset.

"Did you know everyone feels a slight spike of a certain emotion when they launch an attack? Always takes a tiny bit of aggression to actually try to hurt someone," Adagio said with a smirk.

Gilda growled as she and Aria speed blitzed each other and Applejack came in to make up for the difference in power. "Okay, still getting nowhere!" She then blinked, noticing the beam oh war going on and the 'weird' fight going on as Sonata gave a very unorthodox kick to knock Rarity away, but took a bit longer to recover from a hit from Pinkie than Aria did from one from her. "...Wait, we're going about this wrong..."

"How exactly?" Applejack questioned.

"We're fighting the SAME build as us!" replied Gilda exclaimed. "Video game rules!"

Applejack blinked, then smirked. "Oh, Ah gotcha..." she said, catching a charge from Aria and the two hurled her into directly into Sonata, knocking the two into a wall. The two then flew in, taking Adagio off guard and punching her into a wall.

"Hey, you girls go take on Aria! Let them take Adagio and let us take crazy lady!" Gilda said.

"Huh?" Sunset said, confused.

"They've got CHARACTER BUILDS! Like us! Aria's a tank, can't do anything if she gets mowed down before she can hit you," said Gilda. "Sonata's like that guy who put all his stats in being really freaking annoying, but forgot to put anything into actual DEFENSE once their mana runs out, and Adagio's stuff is about being tricky and messing you up, so let the trolly and skill guys screw HER up...And Fluttershy, help them!"

"...Okay..." Fluttershy said.

"...That's actually really smart," said Sunset.

"Been playing World of Horsecraft as a JOB, kinda comes with the territory," said Gilda, before she and Applejack flew at Sonata. Applejack slammed into her sonic barrier full force while Gilda superspeed pounded it, denting the ground and pounding away at it in a way that Rarity and Pinkie couldn't. Finally Sonata had to stop to catch her breath and the two flew in and punched her, launching her across the room.

Aria growled, seeing the four in front of her and launching forwards at high speeds, rushing around them before coming in for a powerful blow...

Only for Gloriosa to pull up vines under her legs and trip her, sending her tripping head over heels into a triple blast from Sunset, Twilight, and Twilight that threw her across the room.

Adagio growled as she threw off one of Pinkie Pie's bomb tosses at Rarity, but the Element of Generosity merely used her shields to deflect it while Fluttershy poked her head out of the tower and called for something.

"You can't get the drop on me!" Adagio yelled, blocking some kicks from Rarity and sonic blasting her back...right as an entire swarm of bats flew in and swarmed around her.

Adagio gave a yell, grabbing her head as the emotions of THAT many animals combined with her enhanced emotion sense gave her sensory overload, allowing Pinkie Pie to hurl a bunch of marshmallow bombs at her feet she didn't notice as Fluttershy called the bats away and they went off, blowing her across the room.

Applejack and Gilda dodged several of Sonata's bombs and double kicked her at the same time a telekinetically tripped Aria was blasted by Sunset, Princess Twilight, and Gloriosa and Adagio was blinded by Pinkie Pie's sheer overwelming joy and sent flying with a barrier smash by Rarity, the three Sirens colliding and slamming into the ground.

Adagio growled. "How?!"

"Game mechanics," Gilda replied as their Harmony Gauge maxed out and they all got golden armor with a fittingly colored gem. "Cool..."

"HOW'S THIS FOR GAME MECHANICS! Depths Break!" called Adagio, three Sirens floating up and sending their familiar flying forwards.

"Uh, Dash?" asked Gilda.

Rainbow cringed, still fighting Trixie. "You got this Gilda!"

"O-Okay..." said the Griffoned Up woman.

"Uh..." Gloriosa said before Sci Twi smiled to her.

"We're all friends..."

The nine young women linked hands and fired converging rainbow colored beams that formed one huge one that slammed against the Siren's projections, fighting back and forth for control until finally breaking through and shattering the projections to bits, washing over the Sirens.

The Siren's new gems cracked and finally shattered, when the rainbow faded the three groaned, rising from the floor.

"We did it!" Pinkie Pie announced.

"...Then why is the creepy tower still here?" asked Applejack.

Adagio began to laugh, forcing herself up. "...You really are idiots, aren't you...our magic wasn't what let the game work, not the ONLY thing anyway...We weren't the final boss, everyone knows the final boss can't show up until the penultimate one is defeated! HAHAHA! All you did was remove the last thing between Dra-Gon and the world!" she laughed. "We'll be getting new Gems soon enough! After our patron deity destroys you!"

The room suddenly began flooding with dark water, as a storm formed in the sky, ripping the roof off the building as a portal opened.

"Welcome to the final level!" Adagio laughed.

Session 74.10 Alex Warlorn, SomeRandom Minion, Ardashir, Mtangalion

"I'm worried about Discord with all these dragon skins about."

"Don't worry, we got Discord to Pinkie Pie Swear not to curse or otherwise make costumes that would transform their wearer."

"But did that promise include dragon-skins?"

"... Uh-oh!"

-

"YAY! DRAGON TRANSFORMATION CUTIE MARKS! Oh wait we got ours now."

-

Dragon Belle bellowed, "Mush, servants! Bring me more candy!"

Rover snorted, "Or what, dumb dragon?"

Dragon Belle Growled and showed her fangs. "Or YOU'RE my candy."

The Diamond Dogs ran to the candy store yelping.

====

Scoota-dragon cheered, "WHOO-HOO! I'm finally flying!"

She zoomed right over an aerodome, nearly ramming several zeppilins.

======

Dragonbloom said in a sing song voice outside the largest casino in Los Pegasus and thus Equestria, "Oh Flim-Flams; where are ya...?"

Flim and Flam once bragged their could charm the skin off a dragon, now it was time to prove it.

"Hello my dear sweet Apple Bloom! Are you still enjoying all those Windy The Windigo merchandise you bought? We'll be happy to repeat it next year... but that will be mail order in order to avoid certain... purple royal problems... Your family has cornered the market on apples... but what about EXOTIC apples?"

"... Exotic apples?"

"yes my dear! From outside Equestra! We'd be happy to share some with you... a lot with you, you're a growing girl apparently... if you'd be willing to do a small tiny favor for us in return."

--

Apple Bloom now stood in a paper movie set cave with plastic golden treasure around her... and ponies paying Flim and Flaim to dress up in costume and wield rubber swords at a genuine dragon.

Flim said to Apple Bloom, "All you need to do is pretend to lose to paying ponies dressed up in cheap plastic suits of armor."

"Got it!"

"With our dancing girls taking turns being the maiden-in-distress of course!"

-

Rarity ground her teeth as the diamond dogs were suing her for what Sweetie Belle was doing since they believe she the true ringleader.

+++

Applejack gaped as she read a letter that said Dragon Bloom was now UNDER CONTRACT for FLIM AND FLAM! Applejack nearly had four simultaneous heart attacks.

+++

And Rainbow Dash, well, she was just making sure Scootaloo doesn't cause a national disaster.

"The thing I do to make ponies happy," Rainbow grunted as she pulled another hot air balloon away from scootaloo flight path.

-

Rarity, Scootaloo, Applejack all shouted together having cornered the chaos god, "DISCORD!"

Discord pouted. "Oh, I'm not allowed to have any fun around here these days! 'Discord, stop turning fillies into dragons!' 'Discord, stop inviting your cryptid friends down from the superspectrum to frighten the town!' 'Discord, stop mind controlling door to door salesponies into trying their luck in Yakyakistan!'"

Rarity groaned, "At least this can't possibly get any worse."

The greed growth Garble unlike most such dragons kept his senses, mostly cause there was no difference between his normal self and his greed-growth self. And he was now stomping between Canterlot and Ponyville showing off his absurd under the table fortune. "Hey, ladies! ~~ Fire opal chocolates?"

Rarity had a headache. "At least NOW this can't possibly get any worse."

Gilda zoomed away from Zecora hut, with faint words of "End my grief! Stop theif!"

"Aw, FLOCK YEAH! Size-shifting potion! Here comes Gilda-zilla!"

Poor naive Gabby asked, "Can I have some, too?"

Rarity sighed, "Well, NOW it can't--"

Applejack snapped, "STOP SAYIN' THAT!"

Having heard of several new dragons appear in Equestria, Ember had flown in, seen her doubledangers, saw Discord munching popcorn, and swooped in to try and calm down the chaos.

"If you're dragons then you serve the Dragon Lord! So stop with the antics!" Ember said, coming to see what Garble's latest scheme had caused (in truth it was more Luna's legitimate attempts to stop pony trafficking and the organ black market, with the law being just too vague for its own good, and Discord not resisting the chance to add his own 'fun' to the mix as Garble's scheme netted him a fortune).

Naturally Jet Set and Upper Crust heard this and asked,

"My, so just because someone becomes one of your species that means they must swear loyalty to you?"

"Is this part of some evil scheme to transform countless innocent ponies into dragons to comment genocide on the pony species?"

"THAT'S STUPID AND YOU'RE STUPID!" Dragon Lord Ember said before she realized what she was saying. 'Ugh! There better not be anyone wearing my and Garble's old skins as a couple! UGH!!!!!! Brain lava please!'

Session 74.11 Alex Warlorn

Rainbow Dash and Trixie didn't really notice what was going on, as grappling together they'd smashed through one of the tower walls and crashing outside (anyone who questions why they didn't do this in reverse to skip the final dungeon has never played a video game). But Rainbow Dash DID notice that Trixie's siren avatar seemed to be getting STRONGER.

"SONATA!" Fluttershy shouted. "Remember all the times WE HELPED YOU? ALL THE TIME WE HAD FUN TOGETHER!? We visited Equestria's seaside! You don't have to do this! YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY!!!" Flutterhy was crying.

Sonata said happily without a trace of malice, "Don't worry Fluttershy... even if you don't want to be uplifted into a siren, you can still be my pet, I promise to be a great pet owner! You'll want for nothing! I cleared it Adagio!"

"I agreed mostly so you'd shut up." Adagio rolled her eyes.

"That's all we are to you?!" Rarity gasped. "Animals to be pampered or feed on at your whims?!"

"Why not?" Adagio said with a look reserved only for the most truly stupid of people. "The yellow idiot can communicate with animals right? They understand her perfectly and can even follow her instructions ... the only way that works is if they're all as intelligent as you... What separates the people from the animals is who has the bigger stick."

"NO YOU'RE WRONG!" Human Starlight snapped. "It's the ability for us to SAY NO to our instincts that separates us from the animals! AND YOU DON'T SEEM TO EVEN TRY!"

Human Starlight realized she'd just retorted to the super powered witch. Adagio narrowed her eyes at her.

But then Dra-Gon arrived. The sirens kneeled... as did every other siren in the city, all at once, turning and kneeling before him, no matter where they were or what they were doing.

= 'Demon King Odio' - Live-A-Live =

He, was, huge. He was the size of a light house. Okay, bigger. More like Godzilla size. He wasn't that elaborate, mostly like a gigantic fish man with a face that could stopped a digital clock. His face was something out of a lunatic's fever dream.

"Hey! My smartphone just fizzled out!" One of the heroes said. "Huh? 'Fatherdagonhascome-Fatherdagonhascome-Fatherdagonhascome-Fatherdagonhascome-Fatherdagonhascome?'"

Dra-Gon was also wearing a business suit and carrying a brief case.

This awkward moment lasted for a few moment.

Then Dra-Gon tore off his business suit, leaving him naked and free, and ripped up his business cards, and kicked away his briefcase back through the portal (and blasted back through the portal to set his law firm on fire for good measure), "Oh yeah baby! Back to the good old days! Deep ponies! Sirens! My dark reflections of the sea ponies and mere ponies, a world's oceans all yours to claim!"

"Well that doesn't sound so bad," Pinkie Pie remarked.

"And madness and the Three Oaths to all that walk on land!"

"Never mind."

"What are the three oaths?" Rarity heard herself ask.

"You don't wanna know," Princess Twilight said having read 'Shadow Over Innsmouth.'

"I thought Hoofcraft was making stuff up!" Sunburst shouted.

"I knew Hoofcraft wasn't making stuff up!" Human Starlight Glimmer cheered.

"DADDY!!!" Sonata waved her arms around like a five year old who'd just seen their father come home from work.

Aria groaned like an embarrassed older sister.

"Hello Princess Twilight, I am officially closing my law firm in Equestria with Ponythulu, that sell out, I pretended to go along with his nonsense for too long!"

"YES! YES! FATHER UNDERSTANDS ME!" Adagio uncharacteristically burst out like a teenage girl, before looking embarrassed and getting control of herself again.

said Dra-Gon darkly. "All you land animals are good for is breeding stock. My wife Hydra says she won't manifest until we have at least 666 mutant hybrid spawn on this planet with six spires built with our likeness... Don't you love a woman who knows what she wants?" Dra-Gon said sincerely. "Now who wants to become a drooling vegetable or reduced to the IQ of a dog first? "

Sunburst fainted, drooling.

"That answer that. Who wants to be number two?"

--

Wallflower notices the Memory Stone 'powering up.' She felt it's strength increasing. Thankfully it wasn't mutating her into some ugly freakish abomination like all the other rogue magic that seemed to pop up around town did... maybe because this stone and her were kindred spirits already.

Wallflower made a note to erase all of those heroes' memories of that alien look alike of Twilight Sparkle if she meddled... she didn't belong in this world anyway... her human self had perfectly slipped into her shoes anyway... yes... she'd be doing the universe a favor... Yes... she made a note to do that when she got rid of the memories of Sunset Shimmer...

--

In Equestria, the battle with The Storm King happened at the same time.

Session 74.12 Grogar-the-oneser

"Okay, one, that is completely messed up. Two, you still have to fight us!" Princess Twilight stated.

"Wait, you haven't given up," Dra-gon snapped causing the three sirens to flinch as he turns his gaze to them. "Explain."

"Well... daddy they're strong," Sonata said.

"it's true, they refuse to back down even when they were out number!" Aria said.

"In that case why didn't you kill them discreetly when they were still in the dark?" Dra-gon asked, sounding as if he was ready to bash either of the siren sister's head if they gave the wrong answer. "What, did you want one as a pet in a twisted form of sympathy?"

Adagio gave a glare to her sisters telling them to keep their mouths shut, she did not want Dra-gon to know that little tidbit. "We were going to do that, but we thought it more amusing for you if you saw their corpses."

"Well you failed miserably, and as such it is up to me to clean your mess," Dra-gon said annoyed.

Session 74.13 Mtangalion

Apple Bloom the Siren glided over to the castle rampart where Button Mash and Sweetie Belle stood, arms folded smugly. "You know, Ah haven't played as many of those computer role-playing games as you and Sweetie, but Ah have picked up a thing or two. Like how only the bad guys have super cosmic powers, because if the heroes were all-powerful, the story would be boring!"

Button blinked. "Huh? I'm not the bad guy."

"She does kind of have a point," mused Sweetie.

Somehow, Button Mash immediately adopted a cartoonish down-in-the-dumps expression, complete with a small storm cloud hovering over his head. "Sweetie, you too?"

Apple Bloom grinned triumphantly. "And another thing! No matter how crazy strong the bad guys are, there's always a chance for the heroes to win. All that you've accomplished with your gaming god powers is making me strong enough to beat you!" Perfectly timed thunder and inexplicable tidal waves crashed behind her.

"Um, and me too?" said Scootaloo, salt water pouring from her mech and windshield wipers running. "Don't make me the scrappy sidekick here."

Button stamped his foot. "I am NOT the bad guy! Look, I'll prove it! I'll do something that a game villain would never do, like... um... ask for peace!"

"Peace?!" stammered Apple Bloom. She thought frantically. "Well Ah say, you're just trying to trick us! Villains are allowed to be sneaky!"

Button lifted a finger dramatically. "Not this close to the endgame!"

"No way!" said Scootaloo. "The heroes never accept the bad guy's offer to stop fighting and become his henchmen."

"That isn't what I offered," said Button. "Let's talk this over. You know, negotiate, parley..."

A blond boy in a tattered Crystal Prep uniform suddenly sprang into view. "Did someone say ‘parley?'"

"Warg!!" Button scrambled backwards too quickly and his sneakers slipped out from under him. "Ow... Wait, you're not Pinkie."

Blueblood was looking Button and Sweetie up and down thoughtfully. "I see..." Then Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. "I see!" He clapped his hands together brightly. "Right, now if everyone will state his or her position, wishes, and grievances, I'm certain that we can achieve a mutually satisfying conclusion! Yes, yes, one at a time, you'll all have your say..."

... five minutes later ...

"And, it's agreed! Single combat between Miss Apple Bloom and Mr. Button Mash, with the loser to assume the species of the winner. No cosmic powers, no machines, and no outside assistance. Now, if you'll excuse me, I should get back to cowering from all the other flying fish monsters in that abandoned quarry. Good day!" He opened one of the doors along the rampart walkway, stepped through, and was gone.

"Um..." Button coughed. "What just happened?"

Bloom shook herself. "Ah'm not rightly sure, but Ah guess we made an agreement, fair and square."

Reality shattered, and Button and Bloom found themselves still on the castle rampart, but now facing each other in an oddly two-dimensional space, crouched and ready to battle. Button wore a knight's mail armor, while Apple Bloom was dressed as a monk. Giant floating text appeared: "Final Round. 3, 2, 1... Start!"

Session 74.14 SomeRandom Minion

*Continuing the shenanigans with the dragon skins earlier*

Dragon Belle nuzzled the Diamond Dog pup in her claws. "Don't worry, Yipper; I could NEVER eat YOU! I'll even share some candy the other servants bring!"

"What gives?!" Garble fumed, "Dragons aren't supposed to be nice! Even to puppies! Or share!"

Ember smirked. "Oh? So suddenly you care about Dragon traditions? Or are you just jealous her horde already has more chocolate...or ANYTHING...than yours?"

Session 74.15 Alex Warlorn

"Come on Fluttershy! You and Rainbow Dash remember how great it was to be sirens! Why do ya wanna be dumb animals? When Daddy is gonna ... well I never know what he is gonna do to you, but it won't be fun for you!" Sonata said.

Just outside, Trixie let out a sonic blast that rang in Rainbow Dash's ears, "YOU WERE AN IDIOT TO GIVE THIS UP RAINBOW DASH! You'd rather be livestock than part of the family that's about to rule the world?"

"I really hope that the siren talking and not you Trixie..."

"I AM A SIREN!"

"... Not for long."

Session 74.16 Grogar-the-oneser

Adagio merely gaped at Sonata when she gave that plead to Fluttershy to give up while Dra-gon eyes narrow.

"Hah, she just kidding. She doesn't want to help the cattle. She know it's time to kill them." Adagio laugh nervously before vehemently whispering to Aria Blaze "Shut her up before he decides that Chronos the titan had a point about child raising."

"What the hell is going on," Applebloom screech. At first, they were evenly matched as they fought but slowly but surely, Button Mash was gaining the upper hand. "How can a villain beat the hero!?"

"For the last time, just cause I have powers, does not make me the VILLAIN!!" Button Mash roared as he slammed his mace knocking Apple Bloom out. "If anything, I'm a hero who reach level 100."

Session 74.17 Alex Warlorn

Dra-Gan reached one of his building sized hands towards Sonata, Aria and Blaze froze... and he fatherly patted her on the head not harming a hair on her head.

"Now now Sonata, I know you want to expand our family, but it's clear these animals have their heads buried deep in the sand, and don't know what's good for them. They don't want to join our school, and they don't want to join our eternal song in my and Hydra's praise. But don't worry, if she doesn't want to be your sister, she can make you sisters instead."

Fluttershy paled.

Rarity protectively stepped close to Fluttershy.

"Can we kill the mountain sized bastard already?" Rarity said, making many there gasp.

"What she said," Applejack remarked.

"Hey! Don't call Dad that!" Aria snapped.

"Legitimate description dear Aria, Father never does anything on purpose, and isn't married to himself. But yes, enough talking, more killing."

Session 74.18 Grogar-the-oneser

"Okay, I made it so the laws are no longer vague, the black market can no longer make a profit for selling wigs of all things, any creature caught taking advantage of said embargo is to be punished for it-"

Both Discord and Garble (Now back to normal) were in stocks that read 'two idiots acting idiotic.'

"How the devil she convince Hel to aid her in making this I have no bloody idea," Discord grumbled.

"And anypony who bought said item or items illegally with bad intentions must return said item immediately," Celestia said.

"Thank you for that last bit princess," Rarity said. She hoped that the diamond dogs would drop their lawsuit when they heard Sweetie lost her suit for what she did.

"Yeah, I think Scoot would be happy she at least get to keep hers due to a legal loophole." Rainbow Dash said.

Session 74.19 Mtangalion

Scootaloo groaned, watching Apple Bloom fall. "Fine!" grumbled the last of the Siren Crusaders. "I guess I have to do everything myself!" Her spider-mech stamped in place, turning around and aiming a giant plasma cannon at Button Mash.

Then she realized that someone was chanting something. "Huh?"

"Let us walk the path of Oblivion together, and smash even the souls of gods!" finished Sweetie Belle, holding aloft a seething blade of utter darkness. "RAGNA BLADE!"

And then a single swipe of the dark sword cut the plasma cannon in two, and severed half of the mech's legs, sending it crashing to the ground.

"Sweetie!" yelled Button Mash, all but teleporting to her side.

The brilliant glow of Sweetie's golden gloves and shoes was fading, flickering out. "Button?" Sweetie smiled woozily at him. "I think... I overdid it just a bit." She fainted into his arms.

"Argh!" Scootaloo exploded out of the crashed mech. "That's it! I've had it! I had the best cool giant robot ever, and I didn't get to do anything with it!" Her Siren body exploded with shimmering colors, and giant text appeared, reading "Trance Mode!"

"Oh, come on!" Button Mash laid Sweetie down carefully, then turned to face Scootaloo, already analyzing the matchup. He could definitely win, but he'd need to counter her hard and fast with his strongest sword combo...

"Dark windblades!" growled Scootaloo, diving at him with deadly conjured claws.

Button Mash readied his sword... and suddenly all he could see was the human Scootaloo... one of Sweetie Belle's best friends. "No!" he cried out, at the last moment ducking behind his shield instead. Her attack slammed his shield, leaving his fingers numb, but the shield held.

And then he saw the meters over Scootaloo's head, and suddenly he understood.

Button stood tall, taking deep breaths, and he sheathed his sword, facing Scootaloo with the shield alone.

Scootaloo clenched a fist. "Is this some kinda joke? Fight me! Ultimate Dark Flood!" She levitated and gathered a massive ball of foul swamp water over her head, then hurled it all down at Button.

"Shield wall," said Button, his voice only squeaking in fright a little, as he tanked the blow for both himself and the unconscious Sweetie.

"Are you doing this just to tick me off MORE?! Well, congratulations!" Scootaloo shrieked, shattering the ground for yards around... but not Button and Sweetie. Green mists swarmed at Button, whispering of all the times he'd ever been mocked and bullied, all the times when he just knew that Sweetie could never be interested in a gaming nerd like him. "Break down and bawl like the crybaby you really are!" bellowed Scootaloo. "Fear me, hate me! Why won't you... aaaahh!" Her attack faltered, and she fell to the ground. "W- What?"

Button Mash stumbled towards her, more relieved than triumphant. "Sirens are powered by negative emotions, Scootaloo. You just used all of yours up." He held out a glowing hand, readying one last spell.

Scootaloo cringed back from him, but the spell washed over her... and her Siren features started fading away. "You... you healed me? After what I nearly did?"

Button smiled and cast Ultra Cure on Apple Bloom too. As the changes swept over them, both of the former Sirens became fully human, only to turn right around and pony up. Bloom's harmony armor made her look like a World of Horsecraft blacksmith, and Scootaloo hovered on iridescent wings like a jeweled scarab.

Apple Bloom chuckled awkwardly, scratching her new pony ears. "Ah guess... we didn't wind up so powerless after all? Ah am so, so sorry!"

Scootaloo wrung her hands. "Not nearly as sorry as I am!"

"No ya ain't!"

All four of them shared a good laugh, and Button smacked a fist into a palm. "I think I used up most of my power too, but we can still help fight Dra-Gon!"

"Finally!" shouted someone in the distance. "I thought we'd never find the abandoned mine with that optional boss battle!"

The Crusaders blinked, and saw hundreds of lesser Sirens gathered on a hill looking greedily down at them... most of the remaining transformed kids who had fallen prey to the eyepatches. Sweetie Belle shrugged. "Or, we can help by taking out the mook army?"

"Works for me!" said Scootaloo.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 74.0 Kendell2
Session 74.1 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 74.2 Mtangalion
Session 74.3 All-Overboard
Session 74.4 Kendell2 (and a bit added by me)
Session 74.5 Alex Warlorn
Session 74.6 Ardashir
Session 74.7 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 74.8 Alex Warlorn
Session 74.9 Kendell2
Session 74.10 Alex Warlorn, SomeRandom Minion, Ardashir, Mtangalion
Session 74.11 Alex Warlorn
Session 74.12 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 74.13 Mtangalion
Session 74.14 SomeRandom Minion
Session 74.15 Alex Warlorn
Session 74.16 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 74.17 Alex Warlorn
Session 74.18 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 74.19 Mtangalion

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Picture by Numbuh-27 used with permission.

https://numbuh-27.deviantart.com/art/7-Navigation-695866169

Session 75

Session 75.0 Kendell2 & Alex Warlorn

Dra-Gon looked confused. "Why aren't you all falling to the ground drooling at the mere sight of me?"

Princess Twilight blinked, tapping her chin. "Well most of us are protected by magic, and Starlight is a conspiracy theories."

"Conspiracy chaser!"

"...Whatever, so you kind of fit perfectly into her worldview..."

"Oh...Well then I'll have to do this the old fashioned way." Dra-Gon then blinked. "...Why can't I attack them?"

"Video game rules, you have to give 'let's start this' cut scene first..." Adagio explained.

"Oh, right..." the eldritch abomination said, clearing his throat. "Landdwellers, bow down before your new master! Dra-Gon!"

= The Genesis - Persona 4 =

Dra-Gon floated into the air, holding out his limbs as a boss meter filled up...several times.

Great Old One: Dra-Gon

As soon as it'd finished, the group had to jump out of the way to avoid a wave of acidic dark water. A second later he swung one of his limbs and sent them flying back a good distance (slamming into an, of course, invisible wall), taking out half their game health in one blow.

"Ow...Okay, he hits like a truck..." said Sunset, as their healers tried to heal him.

"Well so do we!" Gilda replied, the group all launching the strongest attack they had in their menu, slamming into Dra-Gon and causing a massive cloud of smoke to cover him.

"Did that work?" asked Starlight, using a few spells to wake up Sunburst.

The smoke blew away as Dra-Gon spread his arms...at which point a red '-1' appeared above his head, his FIRST Health bar going down by such a small degree one would have to squint to see it...then it regenerated back to full.

"...Crud..."

Dra-Gon's eyes glowed red and a shockwave of lightning blew them all back.

When they got back up, red spots formed on the ground and they instinctively dodged with seconds to spare as Dra-Gon's hand slammed down in an attempt to crush them in an instakill move.

"Why are they being warned when I try to crush them?!" asked Dra-Gon in annoyance.

Screwball, while examining the final boss earlier, gave a frown. "Instadeath attacks with NO warning? That's no fun!" she said, putting a patch in.

Rainbow Dash slammed Trixie into a wall of a building before being knocked away herself. "What are you even going to get out of this?!"

"When the Sirens rule the world, then everyone will finally love me!" Trixie said...in a way that made Rainbow Dash actually feel sorry for her. "Everyone will crre about the Great and Powerful Trixie!"

"...Who cares about you right now?" asked Rainbow Dash.

Trixie opened her mouth...and had to actually THINK about it. "...The Sirens of course..."

"Oh yeah, they definitely cared all about you when they didn't give you an upgrade despite making you their 'equal', did they?" asked Rainbow. "They certainly cared when I tackled you out here and you were fighting me alone. Yeah right."

"Well...Well I...Trixie will make everyone love her!" said Trixie replied, her and Rainbow clashing sonic blasts and harmonic beams.

"...Yeah, that worked real well for Sunset didn't it?" asked Rainbow, making Trixie cringe. "Making people 'like' her through fear worked real well...until she lost, then what? Who did she HAVE?! If we five hadn't been there, she'd have had NO ONE! Trust me, Trixie, that ISN'T how it works! Making people like you through fear NEVER works. It feeds your ego, it makes you feel tough, feels good...but it never does you any good! And it just feels EMPTY in the end."

"SHUT UP!" Trixie yelled, Rainbow flying forwards...and stopping in front of her even as she cringed back.

"...The kind of friends you can only make by being the big dog on campus? They're ONLY your friends so long as you stay the big dog," replied Rainbow. "...If you want REAL friends, if you want people to LIKE you...then do the right thing, be NICE...you can still be larger than life and get attention and still be a good person. Look at me..." she said, giving a sympathetic smile. "Come on, do the right thing and then everybody will have a reason to like you for the right REASONS..." she said, offering her hand. "Wouldn't you rather be loved as a hero than feared as a bad guy?"

Trixie stared at her hand for a few minutes. "...How does Trixie know you're telling the truth?"

"Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye..."

"...No body breaks a Pinkie Promise..." muttered Trixie, taking her hand.

Trixie was purified of the siren form, gaining pony ears and the 'pony tail' one would expect.

Rainbow noticed her Harmony gauge had gone up to max and Trixie was now in her party...

"Okay, this is not going well..." Gilda muttered, getting up as their healers struggled just to keep them in the fight.

"HAHA! Father Dra-Gon is invincible! You can't beat him!" Adagio cackled.

"I wouldn't say that!"

The group turned to see Rainbow and Trixie fly up, both activating the full charged harmony gauge and transforming into the 'Harmony Mode'.

"Ha, do you really think an insignificant welp like you can harm ME?!" Dra-Gon asked, before screaming as a beam of harrmonic energy slammed into him and did noticable damage to his heath bar. Not gigantic, but at least VISIBLE. He swung his arm, sending a shockwave, but was dodged and blasted several times, staggering him back.

"They're...they're hurting him?!" asked Adagio in disbelief.

"Fear the might of the great and powerful Trixie!" Trixie announced, firing one of her own, staggering him back further.

"Do something! They're hurting Daddy Dra-Gon!" Sonata yelled, shaking Aria.

"What am I supposed to do?! We lost our powers! Again!" was Aria's response.

Trixie and Rainbow Dash fired their beams, causing them to collide and converge into a bigger one, slamming into Dra-Gon's chest and burning into him for a few moments beforre an explosion went off, sending him toppling back into the town lake.

"Did that work?" asked Trixie as the 'Harmony Mode' faded.

It was a few moments of silence...before Dra-Gon's eyes snapped open, glowing red and first health bar having only gone down by half. He groaned, forcing himself up and feeling the burn on his chest and looking like it was a personal, grave insult. "You...you...you..." he snarled, rising up and swiping the two, sending them crashing into the rest of the group and flooring everyone. "YOU ROTTEN INSECTS HAVE HARMED ME!" he roared in absolute fury even as his health bar continued going back up. He crackled with eldritch power as the heroes looked up in terror. "I WILL REND YOUR ATOMS FROM EACH OTHER AND THEN SWALLOW YOUR SOULS FOR THAT!" he roared and...seemingly nothing happened...

'You cannot grasp the true form of Dra-Gon's attack...' said a dialog in their eye patches before they screamed in pain and were sent flying by something their minds refused to comprehend, crashing off the invisible wall and falling motionless to the ground.

"HA!" Adagio said, laughing. "WE WIN! WE FINALLY WIN!"

"Wait..."

Adagio cringed. "I mean you won! You finally won!"

"No, not that," Dra-Gon replied. "I was aiming for 'deatomize them', why are they still intact?" To the eldritch abomination's disbelief, the group slowly struggled back up. "What?! Impossible!"

= But The Earth Refused to Die - Undertale =

"Looks like you got nerfed somewhere, pal..." said Gilda, groaning, her health at '.01'.

"And so long as we're here, we ain't givin' up..." Applejack replied, cringing, all their health at the same amount.

"We're going to show you the power of friendship!" Princess Twilight yelled.

"Even if it kills us..." Sunset muttered, then noticed a new action command popping up. "Huh?" she asked, pressing it and revealing the name 'Pray' in glowing rainbow letters. "...Okay then..." she said, pressing it, as did her friends, resulting in a powerful glow that made Dra-Gon and the Sirens cover their eyes.

"...Well...this is odd..." said Principle Cadence, looking at the floating button in front of her labeled 'You've got prayer, answer?'...Especially given she wasn't wearing an eyepatch. She then noticed one of the listed names was Twilight's and pressed yes.

"...It is telling that this is not the strangest thing I've ever seen..." said Principle Celestia, her and Luna having used confiscated patches to try and protect their school and now seeing they same button as Cadence, both pressed it without question.

"They triggered the event!" Screwball said, smiling. "They hurt the final boss, he uses Hit Point to One attack, then their valor reaches out to the gods to help beat an evil gods!"

"...Huh, and it appearing to me?" asked Discord, staring at the floating button.

Screwball merely shrugged.

Discord shrugged back and hit it.

= Hopes and Dreams - Undertale =

Dra-Gon recoiled from the light as it grew brighter. "What is that light?!" he roared.

The group saw projections of Discord, the Princesses, and other members of the Equestrian Pantheon appear around them and channel energy into them.

Their health was restored to full, their Harmony Gauge filling up like mad until it had an infinity symbol.

"...Time for round two, tentacle face!" yelled Gilda as the group hit the button and entered Harmony Mode, the bar not going down this time as they flew up and began hitting Dra-Gon with harmonic beams that, as before begin tearing into his health bars.

"GAH! I WILL CRUSH YOU!" Dra-Gon yelled, attempting to do just that, but it soon becoming apparent that their defense had sky rocketed as well in that mode and Dra-Gon clearly was unused to fighting things that could actually harm him back. The Great Old One still put up a massive fight, but the fight was even now and slowly tilting against him.

The battle raged as his health bars began to drop and empty, the first being broken by a combined blast from Gilda, Rainbow, and Trixie, then his second by Applejack and Pinkie Pie landing a double punch charged with Harmony energy to his face, staggering him back. His third broke from a beam fired by Rarity and Fluttershy to the eyes, blinding him.

"This can't be happening..." muttered Dra-Gon, smoking from burns and the group's clothing ripped and tattered, but still standing. He fired a beam of eldritch power which Rarity blocked with most of the group bracing and buffing her before the Twilights, Sunset, and Gloriosa flew up and fired a beam directly into his face, bringing his health bar to critical levels. "How?!"

"The power of friendship!" was Sunset's answer.

"...And gaming balance," Gilda pointed out.

"That too..." said the group as they hit the ultimate attack button.

= Moon River (Climax Mix) - Bayonetta 2=

The group linked hands, floating into the air and their beams of rainbow light erupting skywards and swirling around each other until they formed a sphere high above the clouds, two gigantic blue translucent wings spread out.

"I don't care what you do, nothing can stop me! Not even..." Dra-Gon yelled, before looking up with his eyes wide at the same giant alicorn with a rainbow mane and tail that defeated the Sirens descended, dwarfing even him as the sun began to rise behind them. "...Okay, that may be an issue..."

The Siren's eyes widened in panic. "IT'S THE HUGE SCARY ALICORN OF DEATH AGAIN!" Sonata screamed, pointing up at it.

Wallflower looked out her window at the sight and felt sick for some reason she couldn't understand, her Memory Stone seeming to recoil in her bag from it.

The Alicorn seemed to glare at Dra-Gon, who suddenly seemed to get nervous, almost as if he recognized and was scared by it. It pulled back a hoof and began throwing a punch with a hoof the size of Dra-Gon's chest.

At which point the heroes noticed glowing buttons on their eye patches.

"AH! QUICK TIME EVENTS!" Sunset exclaimed, the group frantically pressing them.

"What's wrong with quick time events?" asked Fluttershy.

"Nothing! Just didn't expect them!"

With each press a color of the rainbow glowed brighter around the giant Alicorn of harmonic energy's hoof as a mach cone began forming around it until finally a PERFECT notice appeared on screen. A rainbow colored shockwave spread out as the hoof broke the sound barrier and kept going, slamming into Dra-Gon's chest...and nothing happened.

"Huh...that wasn't as bad as I expected..." Dra-Gon said, the noticed he couldn't move at all. "...What's happening?"

"...Damage calculation lag..." Adagio mentioned, cringing.

Dra-Gon's eyes widened. "...I stand corrected, this is probably going to be worse..." he said, before suddenly he was COVERED in Critical Hit announcements and launched towards the horizon with a rainbow colored shockwave, moving at far beyond escape velocity. "GAH! THIS IS DEFINITELY WORSE!" he screamed as he became a twinkle in the sky.

"...Maybe he'll be okay and come back angry and on fire?" Adagio suggested hopefully.

Dra-Gon screamed as he flew past Venus. "When I stop I'm going to be so nettled!" he roared...then noticed Mercury fly past, or rather vice versa. "Wow, how hard did I get hit?" he asked...then noticed things getting warm. "And why is everything getting warm?" he asked, looking back...to see the sun getting bigger by the moment. "Oh, it's the sun...HORSEAPPLES!"

Celestia sniffed. "Sister, do you smell burning fish?"

Luna sniffed, then shrugged. "No...Why?"

"Huh...I could swear I did for a second..."

Dra-Gon's health bar hit zero and shattered, the tower crumbling and turning into water as the group flew away...

"Look!" Fluttershy exclaimed, pointing to the powerless Sirens about to fall to their deaths.

"...Fine!" Rainbow said, her and Gilda flying in and grabbing them before they could meet that fate.

Screwball noticed her physical form starting to fade back into data and return to cyber space. "Oh well, it was fun while it lasted..." she said and hugged her father as she vanished.

Sombra watched his horn vanish and him and Hope return to normal. He simply shrugged and hugged his wife.

Ponythulu blinked, seeing the door open and the blackened, sizzling form of Dra-Gon walk in and sit down at his desk, head still on fire. Fitting, as the law firm was still smoldering, but being an eldritch abomination that didn't mean much to Ponythulhu who simply willed it back into working order.

"Not. A. Word."

"I told you so."

Sonata seemed almost catatonic.

"We finally had things going... then we lost everything again!" Aria looked ready to strangle Adagio where she stood.

"Oh the humans and ponies are not going to do a thing." Adagio said casually.... even if her hand was shaking, and her first was so tight her finger nails were drawing blood.

"And why's that?" Sunset said darkly.

"Touch me and look inside my head and you'll see why," Adagio said simply.

Sunset did so... and gasped. "Juniper, the pieces of the mirror..."

"So unless you want it known to EVERYONE that the apocalypse nearly happened because of one selfish teenage girl with delusions of grandeur magically charged piece of glass, who now feels sorry for what she did, or unless you ponies finally evolved the guts to do what these humans do on a regular basis but pretend they're an enlightened species... I think we're done here."

"Oh you're done!" Gilda snarled. "Crystal Soft's top brass are gonna be looking for a scapegoat to all this, and who do you think they're gonna pick?!"

"But do they want to lose us? They're not the only game in town, not anymore... Do they really want us to go to one of their competitors?"

"Who the hell would hire you NOW?!"

"... You'd be very surprised."

-

Human Tirek sneezed.

-

"DADDDY!!!!" Sonata suddenly screamed tears streaming down her face.

"You know he's just banished right?" Aria said.

Sonata hiccuped. "But I really miss him!!!"

Session 75.1 Kendell2

Sunset gave it thought, wondering what to do in this mess. She then got a smirk. "In THIS world you have a point..." she said, getting a smile that made Adagio gulp.

"So what, you going to take us back home and have your mommy throw us in jail?" asked Adagio.

"No, but I know somepony who has spells that can do something to make sure this never happens again," said Sunset, smirking to Twilight.

"Okay, we're here, now what are you goodie goods going to do?" asked Adagio...as the Pony Starlight came up.

"Starswirl couldn't do this...but you had your magic at the time and he only had him and Mist Mane..." said Sunset, smirking as FOUR incredibly powerful unicorns/Alicorns (including Sci-Twi, after a brief tutoring session) crossed horns and let loose a powerful spell on the trio, surrounding the trio in a sphere before a blinding white light went off.

When it cleared, the trio blinked, laying on the floor and unable to fly. "What...what happened?" Adagio asked, then realized she no longer had sharp teeth. "What?!" she asked, looking at herself in the crystal floor...to find a normal sea pony staring her back in the face.

"What the heck?!" Aria asked, flopping on the floor like a beached fish.

"Hey! I'm not hungry anymore!...Except for tocos..." Sonata replied.

"If we can't do anything serious to you without hurting Juniper, fine. And we don't have to kill you," said Sunset. "But now, guess what? You're not 'mutated' sea ponies anymore. You're REGULAR sea ponies."

"And I stripped you of what little magic you still had, just like I did with the wing thieves," replied Princess Twilight. "Human world magic anyway."

"So...so..." Adagio stammered in barely contained rage.

"You're NORMAL," Sunset replied. "And that is your punishment: you might not get thrown in jail or sealed away, but you'll be living out the rest of your lives as perfectly normal girls. Enjoy."

The end result of this was a livid Adagio trying to strangle Sunset (and failing both due to lack of power and lack of limbs), and having to stop Aria from doing so to Adagio as all three were returned to the human world.

Adagio snarled in rage, no longer able to feel the emotions she could before. "We're normal now...how could this POSSIBLY get any worse?!" she asked, looking around online for anything resembling a distraction. Then her eyes went wide. "'Due to...gaming related trauma, many gamers have decided to take a break from more aggressive games and play Crystalsoft's lighthearted, fun Crystals and Rainbows, causing sales to skyrocket'?!"

A few seconds later, a laptop went flying out their windows.

Session 75.2 Alex Warlorn

"NOOOOO!!!!!" Shadow Tempest screamed in rage and denial as she was no longer a Siren but a mere human. "DAMMIT!!!! You'll all pay for this!"

-

Human Gizmo cried in grief as his new super gory Gloom mod he'd worked on for months wasn't getting any downloads.

-

"Boss!" Gilda came into Company President Sombra's office. "I know who was responsible for that 'video game almost ending the world thing' and how we can avoid being sued into oblivion and all keep our jobs!"

"It's fine Gilda! I already know who did it!"

"You do?!"

"Of course! It was obvious! And our lawyers have already gathered all the evidence we need!"

"... That's a relief!"

"Yes! Rabia won't get away with this!"

"... HUH!?"

+++

"I told you before this all started that I had a scapegoat planned out," Adagio said at what precious pride she could still hold. "Looks like you're stuck with us."

Gilda the Human growled, "Oh no you don't! You don't get it! I'm not stuck working here with you. You're stuck working here with me!!"

+++

"So many traumatized people with such awful memories to bear ... maybe I should do something about it." Wallflower whispered.

Session 75.3 Mtangalion

Vice President Chrysalis leaned back at her desk and rubbed her temples, trying to remember exactly what had happened yesterday. She'd watched the Godzilla-sized sea monster rise over the city... and the next thing she knew, she was sitting up in bed the next morning.

Bah... it wasn't worth getting worked up over it. The newspapers were all reporting that memory gaps were a common side-effect of overusing the eye-patches, and anyway, what was she going to do? Sue her own company for making the game that caused the whole mess? Best to get on with her day and stop thinking about talking white wolves, flying sea monsters, and all the other dream nonsense that would surely delight her therapist.

Just then, Mr. Snow stopped by. The security consultant seemed oddly cheerful, despite his suit being all rumpled... had he been here working all night? Chrysalis found out why when he placed a bill for a shockingly large sum on her desk. "My work here is done," he announced.

Chrysalis gaped at the invoice. "But, you didn't do anything!"

Mr. Snow lifted his shades, giving her a glimpse of intense golden eyes. "Didn't I?" He chuckled and showed himself out of the building, whistling the theme of the Crystals and Rainbows game.

Wallflower could have sworn she heard a large animal growl, but when she looked over her shoulder, there was nothing there. She clutched her bag with the Memory Stone a little tighter and hurried on to school. Not that anyone would really notice if she was late...

Session 75.4 Alex Warlorn

"So Celly, shall we use the ballroom for a life sized game of chess tonight? We can invite Twilight and her friends to be the pieces on your side, and I can entice the Shadowbolts of the human world to be my pawns," Princess Luna said seemingly oblivious to her choice of words.

"Sorry Lulu, the ballroom has been rented already, I let Raven handle the paper work since I'm still working since out with the Cosmic Council over our recent misadventure, I was just looking over that it was rented by... DISCORD?!"

"Tis cause for alarm surely, did he bother to explain what he intends it for if anything?"

"Actually he's uncharacteristically straight forward... he's renting it for a game of Ogres and Oubliettes with... with..." Celestia's alarm rose along with her eyelids. "HIS COUSINS!"

"Oh no. Did he say how many he was inviting?!"

"'More than one' 'less than infinite.' At least that sound like Discord."

"Well, we can be certain that at least the Stallion In Yellow will be one of them," Princess Luna said.

"How can you be so sure?" Celestia asked.

"Call it a lucky guess," Luna said looking down the hall at all the maids and staff with pin pricked and crossed eyes as they sprayed yellow liquid soap on the windows in the same symbol over and over again.

"He comes. He comes. He comes," They droned.

+++

"Why do I keep coming with this design for a dress over and over?" Rarity wondered at all the yellow dresses with the same symbol she'd made that day.

+++

"Miss Cheerilee, we're all out of yellow hoof-paint!"

"Oh, let me see if we have any extra Apple Bloom."

+++

"Excuse me sir, for security reasons, could you please remove your mask for a moment?" ask the Day Guard as the sun had set and the Night Guard were about to take over.

The 'being' before him, if being it was, was vaguely like a stallion, wrapped in yellow rags with a silver crown atop its head. It moved in jerkish motions like a puppet on stings, but at the same time restricted, like it was caught in an invisible straight jacket.

It reached up to its face, and removed its plain ivory mask.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The Guard didn't otherwise move, but their eyes were fully open as his scream was a steady constant like a switch was pulled. He wasn't able to look away at what was hidden underneath.

The King In Yellow returned his mask. The Guard immediately stopped screaming. "You may enter."

The figure in its jerkish motions stumbled into the Canterlot Guard Ballroom. The Guard fell over, all four of his legs sticking upwards, twitching.

+++

The Night Guard wisely simply let pass what he assumed was a minotaur in Ponygypt royal clothing with skin like polished onyx... except their head was a tentacle.

He brushed against the Guard... the Guard would find tragically his pet goldfish had died.

+++

"Good evening chap'!" Ponythulu tip-off his bowler hat to the Night Guard.

"May my mutant hybrid children one day offer you as a sacrifice to me," Dra-Gon grumbled as he followed behind.

+++

"So that's everyone?" Ponythulu asked. They sat around a round table with typical dice, figurines, a hex pattern board (they were truly the distance and unknown horrors), and rule books.

"Yes, my ex-wife and kids will not be joining us." Discord said simply. "Now let's greet our last players for this evening."

"You said no one else was coming," Ponythulu said.

"He's already here, he's always here, and there, then, and before."

"Oh right."

"Ahem," Discord took a Ponyguard figurine, and inserted a key into it, and opened a door inside it. "Yog-Sothorse, The Key, The Gatekeeper, and the Gate."

And there were eyeballs everywhere... inside the ballroom, outside the ballroom, in the sky, everywhere, then they all vanished but one, or rather they became invisible and intagable.

"There we go, now who wants to be what?"

"Discord, I was thinking of playing..."

"No Ponythulu you can't play a sailor, this is a land based campaign."

"What about-"

"No! You can't play as your homebrew Ship-Golem either!"

"Dangit."

"HEEEY!!! Why can't I play Dissy!"

"Sorry Pinkie Pie, we have a full table," Discord said making no reaction to Pinkie Pie's sudden presence, nor did the others. Except Dra-Gon, who glared at her with pure hatred. Pinkie Pie let herself out.

"I'll play a Lawful Good Elf Paladin." Said the Black Pharaoh.

"Nythy, you do know what a Paladin is... oh wait, you'll have him turn evil on the party at the most unwelcome moment right?"

"Well, elves are Chaotic Good, Paladins are Lawful Good, the pressure of this deviance from his people's way of life will eventually grind down on him until he snaps."

"... I see."

"AGHGH!"

"Human Chaotic Neutral Rogue/Socerer, got it Haust."

"My character doesn't trust wizard and thieves! I push him off a cliff!" Ponythulu said.

"Cousin, we haven't started the game yet, and more imporant, you haven't even made your character yet!"

"AGHGHGHGHGHGHGHH!!!"

"NO! You can't fireball Ponythulu's character in the face the moment you see him!"

Pinkie Pie sat back munching on popcorn.

"Mail delivery!" Derpy flew in, delivery a set of letters dated to when the Ponyville Post Office first opened two hundred years ago, each one with a different date on them.

Discord checked the time and opened one and read it. "Yes, you can play a gnome lore master Yog-Horse."

The visible giant eyeball 'nodded.'

"Sahuagin Barbarian," Dra-Gon said.

+++

"AGAHGHGH!"

"The troll is surprised you want to negoiate, but is not unreasonable... "

AGHGHGHG!"

"... Your exploding flaming arrow head to the groin completely catches the troll off guard... I'm not sure that count as 'Chaotic Neutral.'"

"AGH!" Said the figure in yellow defiantly.

"Fine." Discord sighed.

"My Paladin is appalled at Haust's actions! I rush in to save the troll from the dishonorable sneak attack!"

"If our Paladin is attacking, then he must sense our teammate has turned evil, so my were-shark Ogre-Born fighter move in with intent to kill!" Ponythulu said.

"This is how Twilight and Spike feel," Discord noted.

Discord opened another letter dated at this time. "The Gnome Lore Master shouts at all of you to stop, and insists the crossbow must have gone off by accident. And apologizes to the troll deeply."

"I offer the thief/wizard's head as an apology!" Ponythulu said.

"AGH!"

"Wizard, sorcerer, so what?"

"So Discord, when do we meet The Fluttering One that turned you from someone totally cool into a complete dweeb?" Nythy asked in spite of having a tentacle for a head.

"I think I still need to ease her in some."

"That so?" Nythy turned into Fluttershy wearing fetish gear. "So how well do you know her right now?" It shifted back into its previous shape.

"DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN!" Discord said blushing like mad, and also angry.

There was a knock on the ballroom door. Pinkie Pie opened it.

"Oh hi Fluttershy!"

"Hello Pinkie Pie, didn't expect you here."

"Just watching the game."

"That's nice. Discord, I heard you were having family over for a game, and I thought I'd bring some tea and cookies!" Fluttershy said. She fluttered among the horrors.

Discord opened a letter. "Tell Fluttercruel that's a nice dress she's wearing... P.S. Oops. Wrong time, and maybe wrong timeline, never mind."

Fluttershy shuddered and pretended not to hear it. She offered cookies to all those present.

The Stallion In Yellow Took the Cookie, and took off his mask. Everyone present instantly screamed, their eyes glued to the horror behind the mask no sane mind could comprehend. The mouthes behind the mask ate the cookie, it put the mask back on. Everyone instantly stopped screaming.

"AGH!"

"Why thank you, I happy you like them," Fluttershy said politely, not phased in the least now that the moment had past.

Pinkie Pie grinned, turned around, and found a expensive vase to deposit her dinner in from earlier that evening, some of Applejack's Baked Bads would have been less queasy.

Session 75.5 Ardashir & Alex Warlorn

"So where is Shub Niggurath?" Ponythylu asked.

"I am not inviting her again," Discord said. "Remember last time?"

Discord shouted, "Cousin! Can't you keep your thousand young in line?"

Dra-Gon exasperated, "Why did you even bring them??"

Shub-Niggurath, currently in the form of an anthropomorphic female goat said, "You try finding a babysitter for a thousand eldritch spawn that they won't just eat on short notice."

Session 75.6 Mtangalion

Canterlot High School had many clubs which met on campus after official school hours, but one of them in particular was NOT in the official records, even though Principal Celestia had approved it personally.

Sunset Shimmer tapped the teacher’s lectern. “If everypony could please settle down…” She blinked and blushed. “Sorry, I meant to say everyONE. Haven’t done that in a while…”

Sunset cleared her throat and pressed on. “We have some new members joining us today! Now, obviously we can’t invite all of the former sirens to the Reformed Magical Villains Club, but these three fought life or death battles against their closest friends, and more importantly, they remember everything.”

Twilight cringed a bit, fidgeting her hands in her lap. “Oh. Yeah, that can be pretty rough.”

Sunset smiled reassuringly, nodding. “Please welcome Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Rainbow Dash!”

Gloriosa Daisy and Juniper Montage raised their hands and waved. “Hi!”

“Howdy,” said Apple Bloom, hands in her pockets.

Scootaloo sighed. “Everything’s cool now, right?”

Rainbow Dash just shuffled over to one of the desks and sat down, burying her face in her hands. “How did I wind up here? Gilda was always the bad girl!”

Sunset rested her hand on Dash’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Rainbow. We’ve ALL been there. Just remember our club motto. No offense.”

“And none taken!” chorused Gloriosa, Juniper, and Twilight.

Rainbow sat up, looking at Sunset suspiciously. “So what do we DO in this club?”

Sunset grinned, and started passing out character sheets. “What else? We play O&O with a villain party.” She raised her voice. “Of course, certain other former sirens would be more than welcome to join, if they could, you know, show a little remorse!”

Trixie opened the classroom door long enough to yell “Trixie was not responsible for her actions, obviously!” before slamming it again.

Adagio opened one of the classroom’s windows from the outside. “I have something very important to say to all of you. I regret… nothing! I’m only sorry I lost! Hah!”

Scootaloo took her character sheet, and grinned. “Maybe… in here isn’t such a bad place to be after all.”

Session 75.7 Kendell2

As their previous world had been the Beta and the release version of Crystals and Rainbows had a ton new world generation to explore (including the Griffon's exclusive world gen and apparently something underwater intended for an upcoming update) and a lot more building options even compared to the beta version, the group started a new world to play in (though kept their original world to play and for obvious reasons). They'd knew this would be the case from square one when they'd been the Beta players, so they didn't mind.

That and they had a bigger group...

"So this game is like the other game except we don't hunt things?" asked Ember the dog.

"Pretty much," said Spike the dog.

"Can I be a dog?" asked Ember. "Or Crystal Wolf thingie?"

"Nah, but you can be a Griffon! They can track stuff by scent like we do!"

"Cool!...So what do we do?"

"Okay, so you know how fun it is to chase a ball?" Spike asked. "Or play other little games like that?"

Ember raised an eyebrow. "Yeah..."

"Think that except better and there's a lot more games!"

Ember's tail started wagging rapidly at that.

It turned out the 'mentor' character at Griffonstone was, to Gilda's own surprise, based off herself. "Huh...so that's why Miss Hope told me not to make the same character in the final build...And why they asked me to record lines for the game...should really have seen that coming..."

"Hey, you helped us there, so good job," said Rainbow with a smirk.

"They asked me to do the same, darling," Rarity replied. "I know one, but can't speak a world of it. Spoilers for an event," the mare replied with a smile.

"Same here, but Ah didn't want it. Pinkie Pie...not sure why," said Applejack. Fluttershy's blush showed she got the same response. Twilight and Sunset already had a big role in the next Hoofcraft expansion.

"I just want to have fun! But I helped make a few events!" Pinkie Pie said with a smile.

And thus they began playing again, with Applejack, while impressed by the sheer number of trees available, still made an apple farm, but had a larger number of tree themed building options, resulting in her house looking like a mix of a farm house and an apple grove.

Rarity, now playing as a unicorn named Sparkler (for reasons the group would find out at an upcoming event) predictably made a very beautiful, crystal covered house, but still one befitting the differences in her personality and Sparkler's .

Fluttershy's, being a Breezie, was built in a flower, and very nature themed.

Pinkie Pie's...was more of a theme park than a house, even if it required huge amounts of grinding friendship points to pull off (of course it there was one thing Pinkie Pie was good at, it was making friends). "They kept the Ferris Wheel in! and added roller coaster parts!"

Rainbow Dash had largely recreated her house from the Beta, but did save up enough friendship points to buy and install a rollarcoaster into her home now that it was available as an option.

Twilight, as Minty, built a house that was differing shades of green, but also reflected that she and Minty had OCD by being perfectly symmetrical. She also included a few giant peppermints available.

Sci-Twi basically made a mini observatory complete with a star map on it for her house. And of course a gigantic library.

Sunset kept the idea of the sun rising through a window of her house from the Beta, but went a bit more elaborate this time around, with lots of golds and whites...and also put a statue of a golden Alicorn (included as a mythology gag to WOH) in the garden outside.

Spike the dog made...a historically accurate castle befitting of a knight. "...What? I like knights?...And I'm Twilight's dog, what did you expect?"

Ember...made a thing. It was a thing that existed and could be lived in, but given she lived in a junkyard and was a dog still learning how to be self aware, it was understandably lacking in design congruence.

Gilda, with the glitch she'd had fun with in the beta having been patched out, built an epic mountain top castle.

The newly introduced mini games for the Griffons included scavenger hunts using their scent tracking ability as well, which Gilda admitted were pretty fun...Even if following orders to do it by herself was weird.

After some mini games and more building, the group noticed a pop up on screen from an NPC named Razzaroo announcing an event.

"Hey everypony! Come meet me for an announcement!" announced the NPC.

"Oh, right, the events are up and running now," said Sunset.

The group accepted the event announcement, prompting a Achievement to unlock called 'A Charming Birthday.'

As that turned out, it was Razzaroo reveal it was Kimono's, the Earth Pony's mentor and one of the 'lore master' characters in the game, birthday and they would be trying to do something special for her.

Rainbow Dash chuckled at some of the suggestions they could make for it, even if it was clear some where simply joke suggestions taken from personality options and likes for their character bio. 'A surf board' was what she chose.

"Surf board? Fun idea, but I don't think I've ever seen her surf..." Razzaroo replied.

"Hey, keep that idea for MY birthday, okay?" replied an NPC named Sunny Daze with a clear surfer girl inspiration.

"Gotta give them credit, they actually tried to make the NPCs there for something other than set dressing," said Sunset with a smirk.

While they'd later found out there were other working suggestions, Rarity got the first working one with charm bracelets (she later wished she'd made the suggestion of 'kimonos' as that'd have also have worked, and Pinkie Pie lamented the inability to make a 'Kimonoception' joke).

"Wait, if we're all making her charm bracelets, wouldn't that be a LOT of charm bracelets?" asked Twilight.

"Can't you just ask that in game?" asked Applejack.

"Yes...but I'm Minty, I don't have the right personality quirks for that..."

"Oh...right..."

"I do," replied Sci-Twi.

'Wait, if we all make her charm bracelets, wouldn't that be a lot of charm bracelets?' asked game Twilight.

The other characters agreed, and thus it was decided to ask Kimono about what kind she would like as covertly as possible. Which fell on Minty due to random number generator.

"...Twilight, how long is this going to take?" asked Applejack.

"Sorry! Send me to talk to the loremaster NPC and I tend to get a little sidetracked..." Twilight replied. And picked from a list of options to try to talk to Kimono about the bracelets without talking about the bracelets (once again, narrowed down via their character profiles).

'So, let's say everypony wants to make their own...uh...'

Twilight looked through the options and picked one that seemed the least conspicuous.

'Welcome sign! That's right! Mine being green of course...' Minty said in game.

"Of course..." Kimono replied.

'So what if all these ponies made welcome signs, which one would you wear-I mean read first?' Minty asked, dialog still being somewhat influenced by personality quirks as well.

"Okay, having personality quirks actually influence dialog options and dialog in general is kind of awesome," Sunset replied. "Adds a little more life to the game, you know?"

"Also makes fillin' out that whole personality profile thing mean somethin'," replied Applejack.

"Interesting question, confusing, but interesting..." said Kimono, then gave it thought. "What if all the ponies worked together on one welcome sign? Each adding their own special touch?"

"...That was kind of obvious," replied Rainbow Dash.

"Did yah think of it before she said it?" asked Applejack.

"...Good point..."

And so, bringing back the answer to the town, the event ultimately became about finding materials and designing charms for a charm bracelet rather than making a bunch of them...

OOC: Basically an event based off the Charming Birthday special. If anyone wants to write the adventures of them trying to make the in game charms, feel free. It'd largely be about finding materials and designing them, with a lot of options.

If one is wondering how all this was possible: Discord has a sapient AI capable of working 24 hours without breaking and doesn't ask for payment by the company...And he's also DISCORD.

Session 75.8 Alex Warlorn

"No Trixie, you can't have 'Giant Fireworks Rocket Ride Hit the Target' as one of the rides for the high school fund raiser games," Said Principle Celestia.

"I'm not crazy, it includes parachutes!"

"No means no."

Session 75.9 Alex Warlorn

"Huh? Is this a new game from Shining Armor's buddies in the Crystal Empire? I thought they sent their new games through us first." Rainbow Dash said looking at the the box set.

It showed a muscular Alicorn riding a flaming motor cycle shooting down a star destroyer with a laser gun in one hoof while slicing up a demon lord with a sword covered in runes with the other, and vaporizing a dozen orcs with lasers from their horn. The motorcycle was on the back of a two headed dragon above the flames of Tartarus and smashing through the gates of Elysium. The title of the game was in big bold letters across the top.

"'Play Ultra-Power, the ultimate game of power. Mow through minions, crush the titans, experience true power as you've always wanted, with none of those pesky trade offs. It's never a question of if yo'll win. 'Game balance'? What's that? We know our games exist for one purpose, to give a sense of power to you, our paying customers! So what are you waiting for? Buy this game already, seriously, why you still reading this. You should-' Yeah yeah I get the idea!"

Rainbow Dash rushed to the counter and shooved her bits in the face of the store owner. "I'm sure Spike or Twilight will Game Master this game for us."

-

"Okay guys, I need to ask, after a slew of carefully crafted mostly realistic sci-fiction military games where every victory is hard won and well deserved and gives a sense of accomplishment... what inspired you to churn out THIS?!" Shining Armor asked holding the game like it was a cursed artifact.

"Well, everypony kept complaining about our games being too hard, so why not just give them what they want?" Gizmo asked.

Shining Armor groaned.

Session 75.10 Alex Warlorn

"Wow, nice meeting somepony else sane at the edge of time like this, and you helped me get my memories back! So to show my gratitude, I've seen some treasure right over this ledge, take a look." Said the stallion in armor.

The Chosen Ashen pony looked over the edge, and was instantly kicked over it to the floor below.

"HA! Through every age, the greed of ponies never changes!" Said the stallion taking off his helmet revealing a snide-faced bald pony.

"NOW WAIT JUST ONE MINUTE HERE!" Fluttershy flying back up where she'd been kicked using her wings. She gave him The Stare. "I didn't look over that edge because I was being greedy! I figured out who you were under that helmet! And I hoped that just maybe, just maybe, you had changed! I was giving you the benefit of the doubt! BECAUSE I DID THINK OF YOU AS A FRIEND! I didn't care about the 'treasure' at all!"

Patches The Pony Has Gone Hollow

Error code, function not found

Fluttershy was spat out of the interactive Dark Spirits III Ringed Canterlot Extra Comic as it crashed.

"WOW!" Spike said, "And I thought only Twilight with her fussy nitpicking could crash an enchanted comic!"

"Oh. Sorry, uh, I didn't mean to..."

Session 75.11 Mtangalion

A group of unusually colorful diamond wolves had gathered on the arrivals platform at the Ponyville train station.

The orange and gold-furred wolf, still wearing her Stetson, caught herself scratching her flank with a hind paw and sternly told herself to cut it out, only to do it again without thinking half a minute later. “You wanna run it by me one more time?” asked Applejack. “Why the heck are we doing this?”

Rarity rechecked her mane with a mirror held in her paw instead of magic… such strange things, toes and claws. “It’s quite simple, darling. Prince Erik is making his first state visit to Ponyville in quite some while! You do remember what happened the first time.”

Fluttershy shuddered. “It’d be hard to forget.” She went back to prodding her canine teeth with her tongue, thinking of all the things she’d have to talk about with her meat-eating animal friends later.

“Back then, we had no idea what to expect,” growled Rarity, “but now that we know all about the Wolf Game. This is perfect occasion to pay Alisa back in kind! I mean… to reciprocate their traditions!” She grinned, fangs gleaming.

Pinkie Pie bounced in place, her extra-fluffy tail flopping behind her. “Ooh, ooh! We’re going to need new names, too!” She darted from wolf to wolf, patting them as she named them. “You’re Twilight Snarl-kle, and you can be Snapplejack, and then there’s Fluffershy, Rainbark Dash, Rare-collie… and I can be Pinkie Pup!”

Rainbow twitched. “How long did it take you come up with *those* names?”

Pinkie grinned. “Almost fifteen whole minutes!”

“Yeah… I have to admit, though, these costumes are pretty sweet!” Rainbow charged, chasing her own tail until she spun out and flopped on her belly. “It’s like I’m not wearing anything at all!”

Applejack leaned towards Twilight, lowering her voice. “Don’t you reckon we should tell her this is real? Wouldn’t want her trying to yank her hide off and fly somewhere.”

Twilight winced. “I didn’t want her asking to be a dragon or a griffon every weekend, but you raise a valid point. You’d think she would figure it out, though… I mean, I turned all of us into real breezies, and the spell is way easier without a drastic size change.”

They were interrupted by the arrival of the train, with the special car on the end bearing the symbols of the Icehome Pack. “Alright, everywolf,” said Rarity, winking. “Remember your lines!”

But when the doors opened, four *ponies* trotted out. A very large silver-furred stallion, wearing a courtly vest and jeweled necklace, another stallion with a goofy grin, a small white-coated mare with gray markings… and Prince Blueblood, who’d been acting as the ambassador to the diamond wolves.

Twilight and her friends stared at Erik, Iosef, and Alisa, who started right back at them, until Blueblood finally cleared his throat and said, “You go first.”

Rarity the diamond wolf took a deep breath and threw herself into her role. “Mighty Prince Erik! Oh, thank Luna he’s here, he’ll know just what to do! Koschei’s curse turned every wolf in Wolfville into ponies, except for we six, who have Elements of Pack Harmony protecting us!”

And Erik the unicorn held out a hoof in greeting. “My dear Ponyville friends… It’s such a pleasure to meet you all again. I offer you warm greetings from all the ponies in Iceville, who have always been ponies as long as you’ve known us, of course… or did you have a strange dream that we were something other?”

Everyone held onto their serious expressions for nearly ten seconds before they all burst out laughing.

Session 75.12 Ardashir and Alex Warlorn

"Twilight, can you change us back now? My prey species friends are running away from me now." Fluttershy said looking on the verge of tears.

But that was whn unsuspecting Trixie when she walks in on the Lupine Six in Crystal Friendship Library.

"AHHHH! Twilight and her friends have turned into especially ugly Diamond Dogs!" Trixie snatched up a stick and waved it at them threateningly. "Begone, beasts!"

"Trixxxie!" Twilight unintentionally snarled. "We're wolves, not Diamond Dogs!"

"Actually they admitted they added the wolf part so they'd could govern themselves apart from Dimondia," Pinkie Pie said.

"And we lack any murderous predatory instincts!" Rarity sniffed. "Really, darling do you think we lost our minds upon transformation --"

Trixie said nothing. She just hurled the stick.

Six pairs of lupine eyes went wide and -- "Play! Fetch! Get the stick get the stick!"

And they all crammed into the window, their shaggy butts wiggling in place.

A bit later...

Starlight came and eyes were wide, "Trixie... why are you wearing Twilight's bathrobe, eating cereal while sitting in her throne and using the Cutie Mark Map to play civilization?"

"Trixie doesn't know what you mean." Trixie said as she took another spoonful.

"Okay have I woken up in a strange alternate universe?" Spike asked as he woke up from his nap.

Session 75.13 Kendell2

"So, what charms are you trying to make?" asked Fluttershy as her ingame counterpart collected flowers to make dyes for her charm, which would naturally be a flower.

"I'm making a peppermint styled charm," Princess Twilight replied, Minty visiting several places to collect the needed ingredients. Which true to the style of the game involved actually making peppermints. She didn't question how that worked.

"I'm making her one in the shape of the constellation Sagittarius, since her birthdate would make her have that star sign." replied Sci-Twi, placing sparkles she'd collected into the construction window (of course there were a number of inappropriate pieces of art work that ). "Seemed fitting..."

"Mine involves diamonds," Rarity replied, doing a mining mini-game with Sparkler.

"Of course..." said Rainbow Dash with a chuckle, her character doing a mini game where she dove into the water and she guided her character to get the items she wanted from under water. She tried two more times before finding snagging a purple sea shell. "Got it!"

"Why yah gotta make it so complicated, Rainbow?" asked Applejack, making a simple apple shaped charm.

"Because it's fun?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"...She has a point..." Pinkie Pie commented, collecting pink dye to make her charm.

"Yeah, I admit, this game IS kinda fun," said Gilda, flying to the top of a mountain and collecting an ice cicle that could somehow be used to make a charm without it melting, planning to use a carving mini game to make a claw charm from it. "...Even if the griffons are too adorable forrr my tastes..."

"...I'm making a little paw print," Spike the Dog replied.

"...I have a question," said Ember the dog, staring at the screen.

"Yeah?" Spike asked.

"...What are charms?...And charm bracelets?" asked the dog, clearly confused.

"Oh...right...Think dog tags, only prettier...and not so humans know who we belong to if we get lost..."

"Oh..."

After a few moments of crafting, Ember looked back to her friend. "Like this?"

Spike looked over...and blinked as Ember had indeed made a dog tag as her charm. "...How did you even do that?"

"There are these tag things for naming pets..." Ember replied.

"Oh..."

Session 75.14 Mtangalion

Button Mash absentmindedly reached in a pocket for his GameColt, and started to panic when he couldn’t find it.

Sweetie Belle smirked, catching one of his flailing hands in her own and squeezing it. “You’re doing better, Button. That’s only the third time you've done that tonight.”

Oh, right! He was at Sugarcube Corner, taking Sweetie Belle on a… on a … gulp! On a date! Trying to pretend that Sweetie’s big sister Rarity wasn’t over there sneaking peeks at them from behind a newspaper, and Button’s mom wasn’t at the other end of the restaurant doing the same thing.

“Heh, sorry.” Button sucked on his straw, taking another sip of the ice cream soda they were sharing. “Say, Sweetie? Ever wonder what happened to all those amazing powers and stuff? The ones that don’t come back when we pony up now?”

Sweetie thought about it, and shrugged. “Where do all those level 99s and legendary weapons go when you finish the game and turn the console off?”

Button scratched his head. “Heh, I guess it doesn’t matter now.”

Button Mash’s mother pulled back her bedroom curtains and threw open the window, taking a deep breath of fresh Ponyville air. A bright new day, with bright new chores to do! “Button!” she called. “Are you up yet?”

As she approached the stairs, she could hear the sounds of Button’s GameColt drifting up from below. She smiled warmly, and started down the stairs. “Of course he is. Button, could you…” She froze.

Button Mash was sitting at the kitchen table, playing his GameColt with his hooves like he always did, but now he had a little colt-sized horn, and wings folded against his flanks. “Mom, can I have a few more minutes?” he asked, without looking away from the screen. “I’m almost at the save point, and then I promise I’ll help out!”

Button’s mom backed away towards the front door. “That’s, um… fine! Thank you, dear!” She opened the front door and darted outside, closing it behind her. “Princess Luna? Very funny! I’m ready to wake up now! Princess?” Nothing happened, except for passing ponies looking at her funny. “Princess Twilight!?” She turned and galloped towards the Friendship Castle. “Some princess, any princess!”

(Did that really happen? I'll let Alex decide :) )

-

"No thank you, we already have two Alicorns who didn't earn godhood, (the one that popped out of Cadence, and the Science Nerd version of Princess Nerd) we don't need three." Discord said snapping his fingers making Button Mash's oblivious wings and horn vanish in what may or may not have been a dream trying to escape into reality. "Who am I kidding! I'd love the chaos that causes! ... How did I lose that game of Parcheesi with Celly make me promise to keep a look out for leaks from the human world... Assuming I'm not just part of what may or may not be a dream too."

Session 75.15 Kendell2

The mane six, as the Pony Rangers, watched Discord's gigantic mecha (designed to be identical to himself) Discordia charged up its planet busting energy attack directly at them...then powered down.

"Huh?" asked Twilight.

Discord growled, kicking the console. "I knew I shouldn't have made the power supply for this thing several trillion AAA batteries!"

Twilight's eye twitched under her helmet. "WHY?!"

"Because Discord!" Discord replied, flying off.

"...Well...that was anti-climatic..." Applejack said. "...But something Discord would probably do..."

The others nodded before continuing the enchanted comic.

Session 75.16 Kendell2

"...Seriously?" asked Tempest.

"Yes! I can let you be a past life of your self for a little while!" said Pinkie Pie.

"I ended up having a British accent when she does it with me," Spike replied. "Twilight turns into Minty...which was a lot less weird when we didn't know a real Minty..."

"It's real, I didn't think it was but it is!" Starlight explained. "But it is kinda fun..."

"Eh, yeah right, you're just pranking me..." Tempest replied.

"...Huh...what do you know..." Grubber said, blinking as Tempest was extremely determined to cross a tight rope she'd strung up in the throne room, but still far happier than he'd ever seen her.

"Haha! I did it!" she announced, getting to the end. "Grubber! You try!"

Grubber gulped climbing up on top and carefully trying to climb across.

"You can do it!" she called, then her nose twitched. "Is that apple pie?!"

"Twilight! Brought yah an apple pie!" called Applejack...then blinked to find an abnormally happy Tempest Shadow staring excited at her. "...Wanna piece?"

"Yes please!"

As 'Fizzy Pop' rushed to set things up, Applejack looked to Spike. "...Past life thing Pinkie Pie does?"

"Yep..." Spike replied.

"...Eh, at least she's happy."

Grubber gave a yell, legs slipping off in opposite directions with predictable results.

"...I'll get the ice..." Spike said with a sigh before walking off to do just that as the hedgehog gave a whimper, eyes going cross, before falling off with a groan and curling into a ball.

Session 75.17 Alex Warlorn

"You're doing WHAT?" Princess Twilight Sparkle exclaimed, looking at the group of foals around the table from over her OO screen.

Button Mash said, "We use the paralysis poison arrow shots at the gorgon, and once it can't move, we lock it up in the specially made cage we commission, locking it's legs and head in place, and get it back to town to the barn we rented, and connected it's to the stone and billows machine we commissioned that banished gnome inventor and his dwarf assistant to put together." Banished gnome inventors were infamous for their inventions always actually working! "And set up the bottoms. So it can still get food, water, and breath, but every time it uses it's sixty foot long cone of petrifying gas, it'll go into little potion bottles, which we'll use them to petrify every big nasty we come across!"

Due to a miscommunication during the original writing of the Creature Compendium, The Gorgon in Ogres and Oubliettes resembled a cross between the Catoblepas and the Khalkotauroi...

"You do know those creatures are impossible to tame right?" While more sadistic Oubliettes Overseers would revel in watching their player waste their coins, time, and possibly their lives in a truly hopeless task, Twilight wasn't about to subject foals to that.

"Oh we don't need him tame," explained Pipsqueak, "We just need to get getting them angry enough to keep using their breath weapon and refilling the bottles, and we'll have a hireling on standby always to replace the bottoms!"

"We gonna make the bad guys into statues just like the Royal Sisters!" Dinky cheered.

Twilight cringed. Thank goodness Discord didn't hear that, even again, he hopefully had matured enough not to do anything nasty to foals over that reminder.

"We checked the rule book," Ruby Pinch explained, "there's nothing against it."

Twilight could see how this could become a game breaker a mile away. She knew they were up to something strange, but the foals had been tight lipped. Twilight didn't let her expression change at all. She remembered the emotional break down Button Mash had over his mecha suits in the steam punk air pirate setting and thought he had upset Twilight over their invention.

But if she left this in place, every dragon, ogre, and squizard in her campaign world were going to end up statues! ... But if she had the locals come in a start demanding more gold than they could pay for keeping a monster in the city limits they see right through it that she was squashing their idea. And if she had every goblin in existence sniper every bottle before they could throw it because 'they knew it was something bad', they'd see through it even faster!

But she STILL needed some way to curb it without it seeming like she was punishing foals for using their imagination and have a repeat of the 'mecha suit affair.' Argue that the gorgon's breath didn't last inside the bottles?... They'd just start cutting out Gorgon's guts to get at the nice green petrification producing glands inside, don't think they wouldn't do it!

Have the gorgon begin to like them so it wouldn't get angry and blow its posion? Against the rules, since gorgon explicitly couldn't be domesticated (likely put in to stop a similar player abuse from happening). Not to mention they could just then have it blow poison when they asked nicely.

Have the enemies start using the same idea like she did with the mecha suits? But that might shift the entire focus of the campaign!

It reminded Twilight of the original compendium that said a hydra's body was immune to all damage and only the heads or neck could be harmed so players couldn't get around cutting the multiplying heads off... BBBFF of course was the one to use an invincible hydra's body as a shield (later versions made all of the hydra killable).

Seeing the excited and charged looks on the foals faces, Twilight knew she had to come up with something that kept this from ruining her campaign world without it feeling like a 'Nya nya!' at her little adventurers.

Author's Note: Anyone who can come up with a solution for Twilight Sparkle, please go ahead and post a story segment where she uses said solution.

Session 75.18 Mtangalion and Alex Warlorn

Twilight rolled the dice behind the Oubliette Master's screen, carefully keeping a neutral expression. She didn't want to be accused of enjoying this too much later, after all! "Your gorgon venom grenade flies at the dragon, and it's a direct hit... but only the scales on the dragon's flank turn powdery gray! The dragon roars and thrashes, shattering the thin layer of stone, and then he turns his burning red gaze on you..."

The foals gulped, looking each at other. "Run away!" "Run away, run away!"

"The Guild Master of the Royal Alchemists meets with you himself, in his private office. 'What, didn't you know?' he asks the party. 'Gorgons have to digest large quantities of incredibly toxic swamp plants in order to produce their famous venom at its full potency. The last group of apprentices who went to harvest the plants all caught incurable Swamp Fever and turned into *trees*, but you're welcome to a copy of their map, if you think I'm joking.'"

Five minutes later Twilight was scrambling to put together a swamp area on the fly.

"Hey! Says here that Gorgons feed on minerals and stone from their petrified victims," Button Mash said reading the Creature Compendium Expanded edition.

"That's for OO's eyes only!" Twilight said snatching the book out of his hooves.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 75.0 Kendell2 & Alex Warlorn
Session 75.1 Kendell2
Session 75.2 Alex Warlorn
Session 75.3 Mtangalion
Session 75.4 Alex Warlorn
Session 75.5 Ardashir & Alex Warlorn
Session 75.6 Mtangalion
Session 75.7 Kendell2
Session 75.8 Alex Warlorn
Session 75.9 Alex Warlorn
Session 75.10 Alex Warlorn
Session 75.11 Mtangalion
Session 75.12 Ardashir and Alex Warlorn
Session 75.13 Kendell2
Session 75.14 Mtangalion (bit by me)
Session 75.15 Kendell2
Session 75.16 Kendell2
Session 75.17 Alex Warlorn Author's Note: Anyone who can come up with a solution for Twilight Sparkle, please go ahead and post a story segment where she uses said solution.
Session 75.18 Mtangalion and Alex Warlorn

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Picture by JonFawkes used with permission.

https://alexwarlorn.deviantart.com/art/Ogres-and-Oubliettes-Pic-of-the-week-S6E17-631007679

Session 76

Session 76.0 Kendell2

"...Why are we doing this?" human Chrysalis questioned as the Crystalsoft development team sat at their big meeting table...with an O&O board set up.

"One, World of Horsecraft is has RPG elements, so perhaps we can get some inspiration from it," Sombra explained. "And two, after the near world ending event that just happened, I'm having all our computers double, tripled, and quadrupedal checked for hacking, so we can't get any coding done at the moment..."

Discord quietly texted Screwball to email herself to stay in the servers for the time being.

"Thankfully, Mr. Snowbound already checked and reinforced our servers, so the players' gameplay won't be interrupted, but we thought it'd be a good time for some employee bonding..."

"Yay!" Gabby said, hugging Gilda.

"...Let go of me..."

"And while Heroes of Crystal is down due to trying to figure out why it nearly ended the world...which is a sentence I never thought I'd say about one of our games even when my mother ran the place, we avoided a lawsuit and made more than enough off it, even accounting for returns. In part thanks to people buying lots of stuff while obsessed with it."

Trixie stared at the bill email she'd racked up from Heroes of Crystal. "...Trixie hopes there is a huge number of children' birthdays in need of magicians..."

"And also good news, Rainbows and Crystals is selling great, getting rave reviews, and is currently a popular Let's Play topic on Youtube!" said Sombra. "So consider this celebration."

Adagio and Aria ground their teeth while Sonata was...being Sonata. Gilda and Adagio were glaring at each other.

"Mom's happy at least," said Chrysalis, her Blackrose glad her investment in the game had paid off.

"I'm already working on the expansion," said Radiant, Sombra showing pride in his wife's creation. "Should be fun."

"Where's Cinch?" asked Discord.

"Haven't seen her since the Siren incident," Sombra replied.

Cinch sat at a bus stop in Mexico, wearing a sombrero and reading a news paper. "...No magic here..."

"...Okay, I'm the GM, and I'm saying this now: enough throwing each other off cliffs!" he said, glaring at Adagio and Gilda.

"Aww, but it was so much fun," said Chrysalis, clearly amused.

"...Well, that was anticlimatic..." said Gilda as Chrysalis's Rogue stabbed the evil general they'd spent several dungeons chasing in the back while he was monologing.

"I'm an assassin, I assassinate things," Chrysalis said simply.

Sombra stared at the result of the rolls in shock. "Wow...I honestly didn't know that was even possible."

"What?" Discord asked, confused.

"You drove an eldritch abomination insane!"

"So? I had a wicked charisma score, the right materials, and am a worshiper of an even MORE insanity inducing eldritch abomination! Seems legit to me!"

"...Okay," Sombra said, steadying himself at the result of the rolls. "Yes, your transformation spell worrked, and the warlock is transformed...into a taco..."

Sonata smiled ear to ear. "Yay! Fear me! I am the taco wizard!"

Session 76.1 Overboard

“So… these are what ponies have been doing for the past couple of years then?” Star Swirl looked down at the small miniatures.

It had been a trying week for Spike to get the pillars accustomed to everything that changed in Equestria in a calm and orderly manner. Then he took them to Ponyville where almost every race in history was at at the moment. Yaks and Changelings talked around the cafe with the proprietor Coffee Swirl making small talk over his world famous blend. Changelings were highly visible and aside from a few fights with the Diamond Wolves it had remained civil, especially after Twilight nearly blew a gasket. Even some deer were selling their wares to griffons who wanted to put more variety around their still growing nation.

Magnus was a bit nervous when he noticed the dragons but it was Mina… who nearly hugged him into bits for being so cool. It had been really weird for all of them.

“Pretty much. A while after Twilight became princess everypony started to get into games of all kinds. Since none of you have played we all thought we would introduce you into O&O with me as your game master. Trixie here will help be the villain of your campaign.” Spike pointed out while a still star struck Trixie meeped and fell over from seeing the greatest wizard of all time. Starlight would have done the same but then she met him in person and was a little over it.

“This certainly seems to be a grand way to make new friends. And this is for all to play?” Somnambula asked while Stygian was pulled into a hug by her. She wasn’t gonna let things go badly or lose hope anymore.

“Yup. Here’s the main book to look over. Choose the classes you want and Trixie and I will get you some dice to look over.” Spike calmly stated… and then carried the near comatose Trixie out of the room.

“Star Swirl the Bearded… Star Swirl the Bearded…” Trixie repeated over and over.

“I know Trixie… I know.” Spike muttered clearly unamused by the turn of events.

“Shall we pick our classes then?” Mist Mane looked over the book with everypony. Rockhoof and Magnus looked pumped to try this form of entertainment out while Meadowbrook remained impassive at the moment.

After a few hours of debating everypony chose their class… which turned out to be a bit weird. Star Swirl chose to be a barbarian. Mist Mane chose a monk. Rockhoof chose a druid. Magnus a thief. Meadowbrook a knight. Somnambula a ranger and Stygian a sorcerer. They also all chose to be unaligned for some reason as well.

“Huh… so no alignments then?” Spike looked over their character sheets. They had yet to roll for their stats due to lack of dice but they were prepared.

“Correct. We want our choices in game to tell what we are. Make our actions matter as they shape our characters.” Meadowbrook valiantly stated seeming larger than life at the moment.

“And the classes?” Trixie finally composed herself enough to actually hold a conversation.

“We know our own classes well enough but maybe this time we could learn a bit more about other jobs. When we were out and about in the world stopping all the evil over the course of our lives we kind of just… remained rooted in one job and that was it.” Magnus admitted.

The nods he received was a sentiment that everypony seemed to share. Regret or nostalgia seemed to play a part in all their decisions. With a genuine nod of approval everypony rolled out their stats on the table in Twilight’s castle. She was busy having a manic episode about gorgons for some reason.

“You come into a room with a single chest in the middle of the room. The dungeon walls are covered in small holes but you don’t see any obvious reason for them to be there.” Spike narrated.

“Obviously a trap. Let’s see… I have wings so I fly through the room to the other side.” Meadowbrook mentioned. “Then I poke the treasure chest out of place with my sword.”

“Your poke moves the treasure chest over. Nothing happens.”

“Maybe it has to due with the lid.” Rockhoof muttered which got a few more nods of ascent.

“I’ll try to open it then. You got healing spells ready there buddy.” Magnus chuckled as he nervously started his rolls.

“You open the chest but there is nothing inside except for a lone note.” Spike continues before poking at Trixie. “The note bursts into smoke and a voice starts to play.”

“You glorious fools have released me from my prison of ten thousand years. Fear me for I am Lady Arcana, Ruler of the Demiplanes of Sorcery. The world shall finally be drenched in darkness and horror. Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!” Trixie hammed it up.

“I knew I should have invested in alchemical fire…” Stygian muttered since he had wasted the last of his grenade weapons against a large group of slimes that had attacked them.

Combat rolls against the pillars were pitiful since Meadowbrook’s luck always seemed to make them invincible at the most inopportune times for Spike. He had lost several of his more powerful encounters whenever it was her turn for rolling… usually rolling several crits in a roll even though she shouldn’t have.

“I fire an arrow at the letter.” Somnambula shouts out.

“Roll challenge… 18.” Spike voiced as he started to cringe. Trixie was still in her weakened stated when…

“Oh shoot… a one.” Somnambula cringed, which if Spike hadn’t been a professional, would have been dancing about.

“Your bowstring snaps allowing the villain to teleport out of the room. The trap is set off and you are all forced to make a swift retreat. Roll again.”

Nopony rolled lower than a ten which meant they all made it safely outside. With a determined look their team leader… Stygian decided it was time to save the world.

Session 76.2 Kendell2

"So...how long does this last?" asked Grubber, holding an ice pack to where the tight rope had impacted.

"Awhile, but should be wearing off soon," Spike replied. "You gonna try it?"

"Nah, I don't wanna know what I was in a past life..."

Tempest gasped as the sun went down. "Wait! I can shoot fireworks out of my head, can't I?"

"Uh...yeah..." Grubber mentioned.

Tempest rushed over to the window and the moment the sun was down, she fired a series of chaotic magic bursts into the sky that exploded into a beautiful fireworks display, with more passion and joy than she'd put into any of the ones she'd done prior.

Grubber limped over, looking...awed. "Tempest...I mean Fizzy Pop, you really love fireworks, don't you?"

"Yeah...they're my favorite thing...watching them explode over the water..." Fizzy Pop said, watching the fireworks...her eyes gradually transitioning back to Tempest...who continued to watch the last of the fire works explode.

"...Tempest, you're crying..."

Tempest quickly wiped them away...but smiled slightly. "I...I'm happy...that's all..." she said, slowly turning and walking over to Pinkie Pie. "...T-Thank you...I needed that...I can't remember ever being that happy since..." her hoof went to her horn.

It wasn't just enjoying the fireworks...it was being a her that didn't see the broken horn on her forehead with ANY baggage, who had zero spite, anger, hate, or bitterness over it...she only saw it as a way to make beautiful fireworks.

Something about it was...pure. Tempest couldn't describe it...but for once in her life she was HAPPY.

Pinkie Pie smiled. "You're welcome! It was worth to see you smile like that!"

"...Yeah...it was..."

Session 76.3 QuartzScale

Sombra stood at the meeting table looking over the entirety of the scope of Ascension. It would be a while until everyone was ready for something that grimdark… but they needed to get ready all the work they had done. Around the table sat everyone he needed to speak with.

Discord was of course messing around with three different cakes managing to flip them around with his bare hands. He also had his pad full of notes and some physical copies as well. For some reason he had talked about some differences in his memories and the physical copies. He ignored it overall for the moment.

Chrysalis was busy filing her fingernails while she was texting on her phone most likely with Blackrose who was pontificating on the nature of Crystals and Rainbows. She was also talking about the rise of the changeling things in World of Hoofcraft most likely.

Tirek was looking over several contracts including the fact that he needed to make some charges against Rabia. When he had informed Sombra that some of the evidence looked forged he pushed it off as not being too important… which left the case mired in legal problems he didn’t want to deal with. Due to no one actually understanding what happened exactly and not being able to link it to the company made things easier to deny.

Adagio and her sisters were grumbling the entire time muttering something about things feeling weird. Adagio in particular were glaring intensely with Gilda which he excused as just interrival problems. Like everything else that was here.

Finally at the end of the table was of course his newest recruits specially for Ascension. Twilight Sparkle seemed awkward enough when he first met her… though now she was absolutely frightened of Tirek… which was understandable. He was a dangerous lawyer. Sunset Shimmer, on the other hand, was glaring more at Adagio alongside Gilda.

“Okay people. I called you in today because right now focus groups are iffy about dark and gritty. We’ve stopped updating our heroes game for now due to all that business. Radiant, if you please.” Sombra pointed to Hope as she started the projector and waited for everyone to look over the problems.

“So what are we looking at then?” Chrysalis spoke up.

“Mission statements. For the next couple of months we’ll be working on making Crystals and Rainbows our priority. Which means we’re gonna need more cutesy songs for the new areas to be added. Isn’t that right dear?” Sombra sweetly spoke up to Hope.

“Oh yes. Urgh… sorry they kicked. Anyways, thanks to a bit of creative design from a very talented girl I had the pleasure of meeting during Crystal Con we’ve gotten designs for underwater sea ponies. You said you also had something as well Chryssi?” Hope asked looking towards her dear friend.

“Yeah… ugh. We have the concepts for urgh… flutterponies. Similar to breezies but able fix emotion problems. We’re still working on the concept and Thorax has promised to have something ready eventually. How long?” Chrysalis stopped her as everyone looked expectantly at Hope.

“One month left… Still don’t know the gender but I’m excited.” Hope admitted.

“I’m godfather right?” Discord joked around clearly not actually being serious.

“Yup.” Radiant instantly answered.

“What!?” Twilight screamed out before catching herself. “Sorry. It’s just surprising. Heh heh…” Twilight hid beneath the table.

“Lighten up Twilight. It’s fine.” Gilda waved it off clearly used to this Discord’s antics.

“But he has to share it with Chrysalis being godmother.” Hope tacked on at the last moment.

“I knew there was a catch.” Discord scoffed.

“Great… a fool for a match.” Chrysalis groaned.

“About Ascension…” Tirek took charge of the situation clearly all business though he did leave a small toy of one of the ponies that Blackrose had petitioned with Hope’s name on it. Even he knew keeping on his boss’s wife’s good side kept you getting paid.

“Right. We’re gonna have a smaller team while we work on that. Discord will be heading that side while Gabby takes part of Crystals and Rainbows.” Sombra mentioned handing the toy to Hope who cuddled it sweetly.

“So you’ll need our voiced lines and such?” Sunset pointed out.

“Yes. We also would like you to add more ideas for Ascension through a bit of work with Discord… as dictated by your contracts.” Sombra pointed out before Twilight could voice any concern. She had signed a contract… even when it was under duress because Radiant Hope mentioned something about making things up about ponies and noting a lot of similarities between what she heard from the two of them and what she made.

“What kind of missions?” Twilight cautiously asked.

“Anything about demons. You are literally closing the gates of Tartarus so anything like that and maybe some monsters we can use for later special boss fights.” Sombra brought up looking over his notes.

“Adagio your team will be working on Crystals and Rainbows making more music. Am I clear? I gave you the chance with the heroes game in exchange for more music… over two hundred songs.” Sombra almost sounded as though he ordered it.

“Right boss…” Adagio muttered clearly unamused.

“Got it.” Aria muttered.

“Oooh we get more happy songs!” Sonata cheered immensely at the prospect which put a smile on Sunset’s face.

“I think that’s all we really have to go over. So chop chop people. Time to get to work. We have a Crystals and Rainbows expansion to be made. Get to it!” Sombra ordered as everyone got to work with Discord leading Tirek, Sunset and Twilight off to record all their lines for the expansion.
Radiant slowly traipsed over to her chair and sat down clearly tired while Chrysalis looked over her for the bit. Sombra had to deal with Snow for a small meeting. Gabby eventually found Scorpan and Thorax working over some of the Flutterpony designs but it was slow going in trying to make things fit.

A very busy day awaited all of them.

Session 76.4 QuartzScale

King Blackthorn, the newly minted deer king, looked over the small table before him. He wanted for Aspen to take over once again but it was impossible to actually figure out how to do so within the parameters he was given. On the table was an old game of Deer origin called Where the Forest Falls.

A strange game where deer were forced to battle against the very spirits of nature for attempting to make a home for themselves amongst nature. Made during the past King’s bloody rule before Aspen showcasing a strange need to make certain all deer knew that nature was dangerous and needed to be coexisted with and never taken for granted.

Looking through the rulebook made him cringe at how badly the rules were tailored to make certain every other race looked like heathens for harming nature in any capacity. Willow Reed had told him that no one played it anymore after that horrible incident against the minotaur Well-To-Do. They had learned that no single creature could instantly be judged on the spot. Also that fighting is sometimes the only way to solve problems but that was overlooked for friendship’s sake.

The rules were very unpalatable even after drinking some specialty Zap Apple Cider they had managed to get a while back.

“Willow Reed?” Blackthorn called out.

“Yes, my liege?” Willow answered.

“Get me the specialty incinerator!” Blackthorn called out in a grandiose matter.

“The Specialty Incinerator!” Willow screamed.

“No. No singing cue. What are we ponies?” Blackthorn quirked an eye at her.

“Sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” Willow shook her head slightly trying to get it out of her mind.

Wasting no time they burned the rules and game from ever harming anything else ever again.

~~~~

“What the heck is this?” Tirek groaned as a new game hit him in the head. After looking through the rules from his cell he threw them in the lava. He hated what it said about centaurs… then remembered that the only game he could play was Crystals and Rainbows, since the weird box had stopped working revealing the message ‘No Connection Available.’

“I could have played that instead…” Tirek groaned as the pink one and his traitorous brother returned.

Session 76.5 Alex Warlorn

"Has anyone seen mom? She hasn't come home since... we all became demon fish witches." Sunny Flair asked. Her friends shook her heads.

-

"Hey Adagio! What are you doing? We're got so many happy songs to write!" Sonata said, the only one actually ecstatic about the idea.

"Revenge," Adagio said as she was typing.

Aria growled, "Are you REALLY doing another scheme SO SOON after WE LOST EVERYTHING?!"

Adagio's eyes held a glint of insanity that actually made even Aria shiver. "Not everything!... Remember! Those who can't do, teach!"

Rarity's father sneezed.

Aria read the title of Adagio's manuscript, "'Dark Magic Is Your Friend: You too can become a witch!' Really?"

"Yes really! We didn't lose any of our smarts! And we still know more about magic than most of the dumb apes on this planet!"

Aria rolled her eyes. "And this won't backfire horribly on us because?"

"Because... the test market isn't this stupid town... the test market is in Mexico!"

In Mexcio...

Fiesta music played. A young woman named Fiesta Flare played maracas. And a new book came on sale.

And former Principle Cinch ran away screaming.

Session 76.6 QuartzScale

(Continuation of 43.2)

Twilight sat on her deck drinking her tea calmly looking over Ponyville. It was the kind of day when on could lounge around doing nothing and was actually her day off. Nothing could go wrong to mess that up... when Spike knocked on her veranda door.

“Um… Twi. We got a very important visitor… I think.” Spike chuckled nervously.

Standing behind him was a large bipedal black and white bear wearing an ornate orange robe while a conical straw hat rested on his head. On his back were several large packs which seemed to do nothing to deter him from moving. He bowed to Twilight who stumbled off her chair faltering and hitting her face against the floor.

“Forgive me for the intrusion. I have finally found the time to meet with you, young Princess of Friendship.” The panda answered the now mumbling alicorn princess.

“Of course… sorry. I didn't expect you coming so soon. Shall we?” Twilight pointed to a small table that rested on the balcony with an umbrella hanging over it.

“Of course. I have also brought a game to play. Many voices have been speaking of these sorts of things. Ah before I forget… I am Dainin. Here is the game.” Dainin placed a large domino box on the small table where Twilight looked over it.

“What kind of game is this?” Twilight examined the box closely.

“A relatively new game from back home. It is called AYA and is a cooperative game. We place these dominoes into patterns to create pathways and landbridges. We earn points for which ever tiles are actual paths. If there all tiles that don’t fit we don’t earn points. After we place the tiles we knock them down to create the path. The most important pieces are the ones that have camera points on them. They add extra for the supposed animals that you photograph which is dependant on what terrain is connected to the domino in question.” Dainin explained while Twilight looked over all the tiles seemingly planning things out.

“Is it alright to use my magic to place the tiles?” Twilight quickly asked before they started.

“For your first time it should be fine. Afterwards if you’d like to keep going I would suggest trying with only your hoof. The tiles were made big enough to allow some room for error.” Dainin smiled while Spike brought over some tea for the game.

Overall the meeting went well enough. Twilight became engrossed within making the perfect path though working with Dainin showed that he didn’t care of the aesthetics so much as he enjoyed the company while the game was played. Eventually talks of opening the turtle to guests was brought up. Dainin couldn’t speak for everyone but felt hopeful that trade would pick up now that they were meeting face to face.

https://www.gamesquest.co.uk/blog/aya-cooperative-domino-stacking-photo-taking-game/

Session 76.7 Alex Warlorn

There was a knock on Twilight Sparkle's front door of her castle...

She opened it... to find ponies in cloaks at her door step... 'It's gonna be one of those days.'

They looked like Three Tribes ponies, but they had seapony, or rather, sirens traits mixed in there.

"Hello Princess (vile heathen who dared harm our lord and master), have you heard the good news of the Order of Dra-Gon?" Asked a mare who had a familial resemblance to somepony Twilight couldn't place.

Twilight shook her head. "Look, we already have two..." She realized that the word 'cult' had become a trigger around Ponyville. "Sects of ponies seeking to share their beliefs in Ponyville, you can talk to the Equalists and Luna's Witnesses about who gets what turns to knocking on doors nicely asking ponies to convert to your religion."

"But would you at least try out our new board game? Catch The Outsider!" A stallion with hooves with a resemblance to fins, held up a board game, the publisher's logo being one of Chrysalis' front propaganda companies. It showed a port town with quadruped fish ponies, chasing an ugly looking purple unicorn. "Prevent the outsider from escaping town, first one to catch them wins." The Order of Dra-Gon messenger said. They all had smiles on with their faces. "But you all lose if they manage to get away."

"Hey, that sounds kinda interesting," Spike said. Then Twilight gave him the look. "Never mind."

-

"Are you sure we can be here?" Sunburst asked looking around the castle of the royal sisters.

"Trust Trixie, after the magic tree gave Twilight Sparkle that crystal eyesore in violation of several zoning laws, she and her friends forgot this place ever existed or that they had ever been restoring it. If Trixie claims it now as her abode, when Trixie becomes an Alicorn, she'll already have her own castle."

"... Why would you want a castle in the middle of a forest of death?"

"... A castle is a castle!"

"And didn't you say you were going to claim it for Starlight for when she inevitably becomes an Alicorn in order to, and I quote, 'beat the incoming Princess wave'?"

"... Trixie might have said something like that."

"Hey! We were here first!" Said a earthpony/siren hybrid in a room with a eldritch symbol drawn on the floor with refreshments to the side.

"Trixie is very sure you were not!"

Session 76.8 QuartzScale

“It’s been a while since we came back to this… “ Spike dusted off some of his old notes as Discord, Fluttershy, Starlight holding a white mask, Rarity and Applejack sitting around the table.

“Ah reckon that is has been a while. Do y’all remember what we were doing?” Applejack pondered over things. “Crimson Tape hasn’t been sciencing it up for ah long while.”

“Sorry… it’s been a while. I’ll try to think some things up but… Sorry I don’t remember.” Fluttershy mumbled as she looked over her character sheet. She had to touch up the ink for how long it had taken to get back to it.

“I remember we were in a space station but that’s about it.” Rarity rang in flourishing her hoof hoping to jog somepony’s memory.

“I just remember that I got some perk with a Confusian monk and that was it.” Starlight brought up looking over her old notes.

“I’ll figure it out… Gimme a sec.” Discord snapped his finger and brought up the archived notes of Ponies and Dragons pouring over it for over ten minutes in a time bubble. When he got out of the time bubble his eyes were red and blurry. “Jeez that took forever and it’s been over 50 sessions since we’ve actually had our turn.”

Everyone stared at him confused but decided not to bother understanding and nodded completely at that. Everyone read over their notes and figured where they were at once again.

“Since I want to get us back to more joint party times we’ll offscreen the rest of the visit to the space station. I’m guessing that Diva and Crimson have already gotten their supplies and extra fuel now right?” Spike pointed to the two ponies.

“Right-o daddy-o.” Rarity tapped her hooves together and she tried to get back into her character’s mind. It was difficult.

“I reckon so. Crimson Tape does ah maniacal laugh while she carries random tech with her back to the ship.” Applejack admitted still looking over her things. “I gotta make another Detentionator eventually…”

“Mane and Random were off in the park. You played with a few animals but… “ Spike rolled a few dice. “A few of the animals were jumpy around you Mane mostly because they seemed to sense eldritch tendencies radiating off of you.”

“Oh dear… maybe I should have been the grasshopper one.” Fluttershy covered her mouth with her hoof.

“Worry not Fluttershy. They just know how to respect you. We did make it back to the ship.” Discord cut her off. Fluttershy merely accepted it. Since her… scuffle with Hel she knew how to be more assertive of what she wanted.

“And where did Lib go after the monk?” Spike looked to Starlight who was playing with her white mask flipping it in her magic.

“Oh… uh… she asked more aliens about things. She kept hearing things about a Fifth Dimensional Quantum Raven that has been seen in the quadrant. Also that pirates have been sighted as well.” Starlight looked over her notes though her eyes widened… realizing that she remembered some of the wrong things for Ra instead… ‘Damn, damn, damn…’

“Huh… Sounds like something interesting…” Spike muttered keeping his poker face straight laced. He realized that Starlight mixed up some info based on her dual adventure with both teams. As his OO credentials were at stake he made certain not to spoil that that was exactly what the others were looking for… but it would be the best way to handle what had happened.

“Okay… it seems that the explosions further off in the pirate sections of space have been drawing in this fabled Quantum Raven which has unfathomable powers.” Spike started narrating.

“What do you mean about unfathomable?” Applejack queried.

“They are without fathom. Unfathomable.” Spike answered without missing a beat causing Applejack to grumble for walking into the trap.

“Oh my… is it dangerous… or more likely in trouble?” Fluttershy brought up clearly wanting to go save the raven in question.

“You are unsure. From what Lib learned it seems as though the Raven was heralded as the bringer of party-geddon. It would enact something called the never ending party and you would forever be trapped in a quantum state partying through the ages. At least that’s what you’ve heard.” Spike quickly explained as he looked over whatever notes he had kept from way back then.

“So I guess we should head out and find that thing then?” Fluttershy brought up clearly enamored by the thought of the raven.

“Sound fly, sweet mama. Time to fly this coop and give the man the bird.” Rarity dabbled off clearly trying to get back into character.

“Truly this will be a find for all of Equestria. For the good of all pony kind to find this creature first.” Discord announced which Applejack clearly agreed with.

“Ah right everybody. I reckon we got something that will lead us to those other guys now.” Applejack announced having Crimson Tape rolling to toss everyone into the ship to head out.

“Righteous. Let’s boogie down and catch those cats. I got this ship all topped off, if you catch my drift?” Rarity explained.

“Uh right… I assume you got some extra fuel as well.” Spike muttered clearly trying to figure out the disco lingo once again.

“Let’s head on out for the wild frontier.” Fluttershy cheered in her calm tone happy to be back in adventure as she had Mane Agery fluff around her squirrel tail.

Session 76.9 Kendell2

"Discord, what did you do?!" asked Twilight, coming inside the castle and looking furious.

Discord sighed, reading a comic book. "I just gave the CMC the powers of a series they liked for a game, I fail to see the problem."

"Look outside!" Twilight yelled.

Discord sighed and looked out the window...to find the CMC in some big beetle themed mecha fighting jet fighters. "...Oh..."

"What happened?!"

"I may have accidentally created a portal to fiction land by giving them the powers..." said Discord, cringing as the CMC destroyed a jet in a comic book style BLAM!

"...FIX THIS! Frankenstag is a nice guy, but we don't have room for MORE fictional immigrants!" replied Twilight.

"Fine..."

Session 76.10 Alex Warlorn

"Well!" Human Starlight Glimmer said dramatically one leg on the horse statue base, "I'm not going to let some extra-reality aliens use OUR planet as a penal colony! The people deserves to know the truth and I'm going to tell them!"

"No, you won't." Said Wallflower Blush behind human Starlight.

"Huh, who are you?"

Wallflower rolled her eyes. "Story of my life. You dug through my garden looking for crashed alien ships after the diamond digger dug through it looking for the 'treasure' buried on campus somewhere."

"Oh... I forgot."

"That's not all you're going to forget."

-

"Starlight? Are you okay? You look kinda... " Not-weird. "Odd." Sunburst said, finding Starlight in her van.

"Huh... Is... Sunburst!? Is that you?! It's been years since we've seen each other!" Starlight said excited at seeing her childhood friend at last. "... You owe me for not so much as friggin' LETTER since grade school!"

"Huh?! Starlight we just finished stopping an invasion by an outer-god by a coven of witches using virtual reality!"

"The what now?"

-

"'Dra-Gon Dating Service, we'll accept just about anypony'," Shining Armor read the advertisement. "... Gizmo, don't you think this is... insane?"

"What? It's just a dating service! See? They even provided a picture!" He showed a photo of a pretty looking seapony.

There was a knock on the crystal door. Gizmo adjusted his bowtie. "That must be her now!"

He opened the door, to find a monstrous half-pony, half-siren horror looking down at him.

"Uh... Tempo Wave?" He gulped. He held up the picture.

"Oh... That was me before I entered my Becoming phase... come on lover boy!"

"Uh, maybe we'd be better off as friends!"

"Oh don't be that way! You were so interesting in your letters, we'll make great spawn together!"

"WHAT?" Gizmo tried to flee.

"Sirens don't believe in long courtship rituals." She wrapped her scaly tail around his waist and began to drag him away, his front hooves leaving creases in the crystal floor. "SHINING! SAVE ME!"

"Uh-uh! You signed up (of your own free will) for a hot, hot, evening of love, fun, and music and I intend to deliver!"

Session 76.11 Ardashir

Shining Armor watched the horror from the lightless depths drag Gizmo out the door. Gizmo dragged his hooves, trying and failing to seize hold of the floorboards. He looked back once and saw Tempo smiling at him, revealing triangular fangs. His renewed shrieks tore at the air as the door swung shut, cutting off the sight of the Siren lowering her fanged muzzle to Gizmo's mouth.

As it closed Shining shuddered.

"Well, sis told me how those 'other us'' dealt with the Sirens. I was wondering how Dra-Gon would seek revenge on ponykind." Horrid screams coupled with savage grunts of lust came through the door, making him shudder. "Our sole consolation is that no pony else should be stupid enough to fall for this -- what did I just say?!?" He ran to the window and whinnied out to the uncaring skies above. "THAT WASN'T A DARE, UNIVERSE!"

Thunder rumbled above, somehow seeming to say, "Sounds like one to me!"

"Prince Erik of the Diamond Wolves?" The lovely and very out of place mare smiled at the Siren looming over her beside the deep pool in Icehome. "Oh, ah, he is waiting for Miss 'Sea Anemone' at gates of Crystal Empire! You should go there and look for him!"

The mare kept smiling as the Siren slithered away. Only then did they yank the suit off to reveal the terrified Diamond Wolf Prince.

"Lousy dating service! Thank Fenris I remembered that pony cartoon and how stallion hides from hungry monsters!"

As he spoke a pair of scaly forelegs wrapped around him in a death grip, and a deep musical voice said in his ear. "I remembered that cartoon, too, handsome!"

Panicked yelps filled the air as the smiling Siren dragged Prince Erik into a nearby empty ice cave.

"Big brother? Pharynx? You're waiting for a girl?"

"Sure am, little brother Thorax! Don't wait up for me, either, and," Pharynx looked at the letter, his eyes widening in confusion. "'Pay no attention to any screams'?"

"I've got a daa-aate!" Zephyr all but danced around Ponyville's town square as he got ready. Fluttershy looked on in delight, and Rainbow Dash in disbelief. She recoiled as Zephyr trotted up to her. "Dash, my darling, try not to be too jealous! Just because I've won the heart of a sea pony."

As he skipped away Dash shuddered. "Ugh, one of Novo's herd? Yuck! I thought they had more taste than that. Uh, sorry, Fluttershy."

"It's alright," she said, staring at her brother. "I know Zephyr can be a little -- much. But I'm so happy he found a date. I wonder what," she looked at the letter, it had no picture with it, "Miss Oratorio Waltz looks like?"

From the edge of the village the first screams arose as a voice called, "Yoo-hoo! Lover boy!"

In another world Adagio stopped writing the latest chapter of her guide to black magic and smiled.

"Aria, Sonata, I'm not sure why I think this, but I get the idea our sisters back home are finally bringing some new blood into the school."

Session 76.12 Grogar-the-oneser

"Nope, don't wanna know," Aria said.

"What, what do you mean?"

"We suffer our most crippling defeat, we're no longer sirens, and quite frankly I feel the only reason our sisters are doing this is cause Dad's afraid Hydra's going to rip his head off if he doesn't deliver the new kid quota," Aria said.

"I don't care if I am getting sued, my wife is terrifying!" Dra-gon snapped to Ponythulu.

"You're still singed from being hurtle into the sun."

"Better to get sunburn twice than suffer her wrath," Dra-gon stated firmly.

"But this-"

"NO! I want to at least recover from the last humiliating defeat before suffering a new one! Leave us out of this!"

"Fine, you killer of dreams," Adagio growled.

Things were silent for a moment.

"Probably for the best, I mean, I really don't wanna know if other sirens are getting-"

"SHUT UP SONATA!" Both sisters snapped blushing.

"...So you really didn't fall for that?" The siren said in a net.

"Nope, didn't want my brother freaking out. Our Queen invented this scam," Pharynx stated. "You really okay with this."

"Most of us heard Hydra's going to kill dad with a hammer and for some of us it's been awhile." The siren shrugged.

Session 76.13 Alex Warlorn

Wallflower Blush was walking away from having just stolen memories from human Starlight Glimmer, when a portal opened up above her, and landed a demonic creature with bulging veins and clenched teeth, his eyes blazing with fury.

"YOU!!!!! YOU! YOU ARE THE MOST VILE AND HORRID CREATURE IN EXIST! I... I HAVE SLAUGHTERED INNOCENTS ACROSS COUNTLESS MOONS! But you... YOU ALTERED SOMEONE'S STANDING IN A VIDEO GAME! Such evil beyond evil cannot be allowed!"

It rose up a giant axe screaming with the souls it had claimed.

Wallflower touched the Memory Stone.

*a few seconds later*

"Uh... what was I doing again?" The demonic being scratched his head. "Oh! I'm late for my card game of lost souls!" The demonic being left back through the portal.

Session 76.14 Alex Warlorn

Dra-Gon humphed, "You're suing ME? How cute."

Chrysalis snarled, "My species COPYRIGHTED this scam, and I still own half the shares in Equestria's dating services!"

"Who owns the other half?"

"... The Pink Princess of Getting Sealed In Mines On Her Wedding Day."

Session 76.15 Kendell2

"AH! GET AWAY FROM ME!"

"Oh come on suger, it won't be that bad!"

Oratorio Waltz screamed and ran as Zephyr pursued her, bouncing like he did in when he was skunk in the cartoon game. "NOPE! NOPE! NOPE! NOPE!"

"But I've been waiting all my life for someone to be this into me! I'm not giving it up now!" Zephyr called.

"'I'M NOT TAINTING OUR FAMILY'S BLOODLINE WITH YOU! I'M DOING EVOLUTION A FAVOR!"

"Luna, we need to do something about this," Celestia said.

"Okay..." said Luna, producing her war armor.

"Not that!" Celestia replied. "No battle of gods!"

"Aww...."

"We must stop this the only way we can!"

"...I will summon him."

Dra-Gon sweated, glaring down at his nemesis. "YOU TRULY ARE A WORTHY ADVERSARY! BUT I SHALL NOT LOSE!"

His children all sat around him, their captive 'dates' next to them, watching hopefully...except Oratorio Waltz who was trying to escape Zephyr and Pharynx's date hanging in a net.

Button Mash wiped his brow...as Dra-Gon drew another card and put a card face down. "You're pretty good too...So you guys use card games to decide world threatening thingies?"

"One of my siblings' idea..." said Dra-Gon. "Your move..."

Button sweated, the audience watching with bated breath as he drew his next card.

Session 76.16 Mtangalion (with one line by me)

Prince Erik struggled against his bonds, then slammed his head against Dra-Gon's card table. "Grrrargh! Just wanted date without ex-mate finding out about it! Stupid fate, that's so hard!?"

Sea Anemone burbled, stroking his mane with slimy claws. "But you're the diamond wolf alpha, my prize catch! No wolf tells you what to do." She showed off a grin full of needle-fangs. "And now I tell you what to do! You’re going to be my loyal Hound. I can give you so much more than any mangy ex-mate can."

Erik barked with laughter. "Shows what you know. Old mate was best, cleverest, sneakiest! Drive any wolf wild with her tricks!” He slumped. “But Ice magic and Dark magic clash. Nearly buried Icehome under ten feet of snow, siring one litter of pups! Worth it! But, could not happen again, couldn’t risk…”

There was a hammering on the door, and it burst open, letting another Sea Anemone hop through, furious at being tied-up and gagged

The Sea Anemone holding Erik grinned devilishly… and unzipped her face, revealing herself to be Alisa. “At last, truth comes out.” She nuzzled the frozen, gaping Erik, who finally managed to blink, before lunging to kiss her.

Dra-Gon looked irritated at the stormy snow clouds that were starting to cover the ceiling. “Ignore that!” he shouted at Button Mash. “The card game is still on!”

Sea Anemone said getting free, "Okay then, threesome."

The diamond wolves screamed.

'I better hurry.' Button Mash thought, he had no idea what the sirens were doing, but he knew it was a bad thing.

Session 76.17 Kendell2

Button Mash looked at his cards carefully. Dra-Gon was good. He was down to 900 lifepoints and had only gotten Dra-Gon's down by a couple hundred.

He needed to pull off a come from behind win here.

Dra-Gon smirked as he towered over the little colt.

"I summon Jowgen the Spiritualist in defense mode," said Button, doing so. "And put one card face down," he said, putting one card in the spell/trap card area, resulting in a magic projection of a pony in spiritualist attire manifesting in a kneeling position. "And end my turn."

Dra-Gon smirked. His card destroyed any Special Summoned monster on the field and prevented both sides from doing any further, but lacked any other attributes. He had a few other facedowns and spell and trap cards face down. Dra-Gon was completely prepared for some 'epic duel ending move' worthy of an anime protagonist, and had studied the rules enough to rule lawyer any possible move, and even was prepared for the dreaded instant win cards. "I sacrifice one of my face downs to summon Amphibian Beast in attack mode."

One of his cards dissolved and from a whirlpool of water emerged a green skinned monster resembling himself with 2400 attack points. Due to another Starfish monster named Star Colt he had on the field, its attack instantly increased to 2900.

"And I play the card Lunamuria, the Forgotten City," said Dra-Gon, placing a card and causing an ancient forgotten city to rise up around the monsters. "Increasing all water monsters' attack and defense by 200 points."

His Amphibian Beast's attack raised to 3100.

"And I equip him with Big Bang Shot..."

The monster now held a huge, black sword, attack power increasing to 3500.

"Now if your monster is in defense mode, it doesn't matter!" he announced, the spell's effect permitting that.

The group gasped. Now if Button's monster was destroyed it'd be the end of the game.

"Now I attack your Spiritualist!"

The monster raised its sword to strike.

"You've triggered my trap card!"

Dra-Gon smirked, feeling prepared to rules lawyer.

"Last Turn!" Button Mash said, showing a purple card with a muscular soldier fighting a hydra. "I pick one monster on my side of the field and all others on both our fields and hands are destroyed!" he called, his Spiritualist the only one remaining as they had to discard everything else.

"Ha! I still get to summon one monster of my choice!" Dra-Gon replied. "And if it beats your Spiritualist, then I win!"

Button gave the most feared look in all of gaming. The 'gotcha' face. "Wrong! You get to special summon one monster!"

Dra-Gon's eyes widened. "Wait...Jowgen the Spiritualist's effect prevents Special Summons! That means..."

"You don't get to summon a monster this turn! And since Last Turn means the player without a monster on their side of the field loses instantly!" Button Mash stated.

"NO! The only thing I didn't anticipate! A legitimate, practical strategy!" the eldritch abomination exclaimed, his lifepoints hitting zero.

"YES!" yelled the stallions.

"Aww..." said the Sirens.

"YES!" yelled Oratorio Waltz.

"Aww..." said Zephyr Breeze.

"Well at least you didn't get thrown into the sun again," Ponythulhu pointed out, sympathetically patting him on the back.

"DRA-GON!" yelled a voice that forced Celestia to insanity proof everyone present and shook the ground.

Dra-Gon gulped.

A portal opened and tentacles shot out of a portal to a sunken, eldritch city, wrapping around him and pulling him in.

"AH! HURL ME INTO THE SUN! PLEASE!" he screamed in horror before vanishing into the portal.

"...I saved Equestria..." said Button Mash, before his mom kissed him a million times with pride.

"So, did you get Discord to give him more Discord favors?" asked Twilight.

"No...we gave him Princess favors," Celestia admitted.

"...How many?"

"...Keep your schedule flexible for a few weeks..."

OOC: For the record, Button's strategy IS a real Yu-Gi-Oh card game strategy that's legal and practical in real life.

Dra-Gon didn't see it coming because he was expected 'anime protagonist' moves or some epic card that one shots his, not a legitimate practical strategy that could be pulled off by a real life player.

Session 76.18 Grogar-the-oneser

Wallflower grinned, It's been a few day and so far and she was able to use the stone power effectively.

"I think this is a good sign, most of the magical stuff, usually cause they take it too far but so far I been relatively contained... but I don't want to draw attention. Plus theirs a risk I'm deluding myself with the stone affecting me." Wallflower frown giving herself a once-over.

"Doesn't matter. I just need to do a final job and I can put all this behind me." Wallflower said determinedly. "Tomorrow, you're getting your comeuppance, Sunset Shimmer!"

Session 76.19 Mtangalion

Gilda picked her way through her family’s junkyard, accompanied by… Gilda? They’d left a very confused Ember behind to watch the house.

The first Gilda, the one with bruised knees and elbows, skimpy shorts, and a tank top, pulled a last year’s model smartphone out of the trash, and grinned when a few button presses made the screen light up. “Yes! I’m gonna need a whole bunch of these.”

The second Gilda, wearing jeans and a brown leather jacket, hung back with arms folded. “Seriously? You know, those phones are in my junkyard for a reason.”

“Don’t care. Just find me the ones that got knocked around, beat up, and tossed away, and *still work.* I’ll pay top quality shinies for them.”

“Shinies?” exclaimed the second Gilda. “This ain’t no swap meet… ‘sister.’ I do hard work like that for cash, not…” The first Gilda shook some items from a sack into the second’s palm… a few bottle caps, pieces of tinfoil from a party cannon, and several solid gold coins. “Okay! Shinies… yeah, shinies are good!”

“And that’s how it’s done!” said Rainbow Dash, holding up a small molded cloud.

Gerold poked the matching cloud in his talons, and got a mild electric shock. “Yowch… nice! You’re alright, Dash.”

Rainbow beamed. “That baby will keep turning wind magic into a trickle electric charge for weeks, and it’s so simple that even a griffon can make one.”

Gerold instantly bristled. “What did you say?! Are you saying that ponies are better than griffons at magic? Huh!?”

Rainbow waved a hoof, unworried. “Dude, chill! I’m not saying anything like that. But, uh… call me when you griffons set up your own weather factory to compete with ours.”

Gerold turned up his beak and stalked out of Rainbow’s house in a huff, only to duck his head back inside a moment later. “Wanna race sometime?”

Rainbow jabbed a hoof towards him smugly. “Anytime you don’t mind losing!”

Trixie frowned at the items that Gabby had brought to her wagon. “Are you certain these are teacups? The Great and Powerful Trixie has never seen any quite like these.”

“They’re new, modern art teacups!” said Gabby, grinning a bit desperately. “See? They have bowls, and handles. Teacups! So if you could just magic up twenty copies of each...”

Trixie prodded at one. “These teacups look suspiciously like Twilight Sparkle’s Internet broadcasting devices with teacup handles glued on. Why, if Trixie didn’t know better…”

Gabby cringed. “Oh, I didn’t want to have to do this, but…” She rose on her hind legs, posing her forelimbs just so. “I’m a little teapot, short and stout! This is my handle, this…”

Trixie’s eyes instantly glazed over. “Teacups! Trixie cannot pour tea without more teacups! Bwahaha!” She fired duplicating beams every which way, which Gabby frantically ducked and dodged.

A few days later, Princess Twilight Sparkle took the train to Griffonstone in response to an urgent letter, and was gobsmacked to see smartphones everywhere. Griffons standing in line to shell out bits for phones, griffons playing mobile phone games and arguing vigorously over the results, griffons standing impatiently around a cloud station, waiting for their phones to recharge…

One griffon was playing with his smartphone and walking along on his other three legs… right off a cliff… only to fly right back up and resume strolling while gaming in another direction.

“You!” said Twilight, zeroing in on Gilda, who was counting up stacks of bits. “Gilda, how did you do this? Why did you do this?!”

Gilda chuckled. “Mostly, it was to annoy Garble. He wouldn’t shut up about how making bits was soooo hard.”

There was a commotion nearby, and an angry griffon guard captain pushed his way over to Gilda. “Hey! You wanna explain why my griffs keep sending me ‘tweets’ about cheeseburgers instead of reporting for duty?”

“Who’s responsible for this!” shrieked a female griffon. “My darling hatchling touched your recharging cloud, and just look what happened!” She held up an adorable ball of fluff with a little beak sticking out.

Princess Twilight grinned. “You know, Gilda… This is where a real business-hen would step up and deal with it, instead of skipping town like a couple of con-ponies we know.”

Gilda groaned, and motioned Gerold and Gabby over. “Okay, griffs, you heard the princess. We gotta put our heads together on this one!”

“Right!” said Gabby.

“Okay!” declared Gerold.

And then they literally knocked their heads together.

Twilight watched the three griffons curse and rub their aching feathery skulls… then blink with sudden inspiration, rushing off to smooth everything over. “I’m not even going to ask,” she said cheerfully, taking notes for the Friendship Chronicles, volume two.

Session 76.20 Jarkes (Grogar-the-oneser, Alex Warlorn)

"Are you sure you don't remember, Starlight?" Sunburst asked his friend.

"Remember wha-" Starlight suddenly had a wide-eyed look on her face. "Ooooooh, yeah! Now I remember all that stuff with Dra-Gon and all that!"

"What even made you forget that?" Sunburst asked.

"Some girl with this weird memory stone thing erased my memories. I guess it wore off because I believe in magic and conspiracies too much," Starlight explained.

"Should we tell anyone about this?" Sunburst asked.

"Honestly, even with all that's happened lately, I doubt anyone would believe us," Starlight said. "Let's just sit back and see what happens. I wonder what sect of the Men In Black she belongs to."

Human Bon Bon sneezed.

Wallflower frowned as she observed this. "Should've known it wouldn't have been very effective on her... I mean for pete sake, she admitted to be a conspiracy theorist, that profession isn't known to be nice to someone psyche.. Oh well, as long as she won't spill the beans... Besides, I'm just about ready to enact the final steps of my plan, so she wouldn't be able to do anything anyway..."

Session 76.21 Alex Warlorn

"So..." Cadence asked the Good Sombra and Radiant Hope from the world line who had visited when Cadence when pregnant with Flurry Heart had demanded to role play with Sombra and Chrysalis. "Iron Will, Flim and Flam, and Lightning Dust all worked with Chrysalis to invade the Crystal Empire, and resurrect you while you were still evil, and they, along with Chrysalis, all basically ran for the hills when they learned your REAL plan was to free Sombra's extended family?"

"Yes."

"So... Why weren't they all arrested and tried for treason again?"

Radiant Hope smiled and nodded. "They said they were all taken over by evil alien parasites to agree to help me, and since that was obviously true, they were all let go."

Cadence just stared.

Session 76.22 Alex Warlorn

"DISCORD YOU IDIOT!" Princess Twilight Sparkle shouted in the Royal Canterlot voice. "What did I tell you about unleashing monsters from he O&O creature compendium!?"

"What? I picked one at random, I'm chaos," Discord said innocently.

"Do you have ANY IDEA what you've unleashed, what it's capable of?!"

"What? I stayed away from the demons, the abominations, the undead, it's not even that powerful a monster considering some of the Ogres in there." Discord shrugged.

Twilight Sparkle pointed to the page with the missing picture of the monsters. "Werefox, better known as the were-vixen or fox-mare, due to their curse only able to affect females. Chaotic Evil. Unlike other versions of Lcyanthropy, the curse affects the victim's personality even in the non-transformed state, do you realize what that MEANS?!! Can shape change without the use of the full moon. Are low level magic users. Can Charm males just with her beauty alone and use the best looking ones as body guards. Can Pass Without Trace. Incredibly vain and self pampering!"

"They should get along fine with Rarity then."

Twilight gave Discord the death glare. "Also, unlike other were beasts, their curse renders them unable to have children, so they can only reproduce by infecting new victims! As such, THEIR MAIN TARGETS FOR INFECTION ARE USUALLY CHILDREN!"

Discord shrank a bit. "I make a boo boo?"

"YOU THINK?!" Twilight was tempted to shape shift into a dragon and breath fire on him.

-

"Hi guys! Sorry I'm late!" Said Sweetie Belle to her Diamond Wolf friends she had made a while back. "Uh... why are you a looking more foxy than doggy right now? Are those new costumes?"

"We now only love Mother... you too shall only love Mother." They all said together, they were not wearing costumes. A insanely beautiful cross between pony and silver fox crept up behind Sweetie Belle, then came the sound of the bite.

-

"I too, only love Mother." Sweetie Belle said.

Session 76.23 Ardashir

"You are the best, in fact only, eligible stallion in this town," the silvery-coated and maned mare said as she gazed into the eyes of Big Mac. Her eyes seemed to glow, lit from within with an emerald light, a light that spread into Mac's eyes. "You will serve as my bodyguard and concubine until I rule this pathetic town. Understood?"

"Eee-yup," the stallion said in a monotone voice. "Ah will obey mah mistress."

"Hey, Big Mac!" Spike strolled into the room, wearing his wizard's costume for O&O. "You ready for the game yet? And yeesh, who's this?" He scowled at the vampish silver mare standing beside Big Mac. Behind her stood half a dozen Diamond Wolf puppies and Sweetie Belle -- wait, why had she styled her tail to look like a fox tail? "So, uh, she interested in joining?"

"I do not join others," the mare near purred. Her eyes began to glow emerald once more. She slunk forward, Spike's eyes widening as her form changed, going from a sleek mare to a pony-sized vixen. She leered down at him, tongue flicking across her ivory fangs. "They join me, little scaly mage. As you now will!"

Session 76.24 Zaku679

"Spike we need to- what?" Twilight blinked at the sight of a slobbered Spike who look pretty annoyed yet a tad proud.

"What happen to you?"

"I got attack by some sort of werefox, jokes on her though, her teeth couldn't get through my scales. and while she was in shock that didn't work, I ran before she could charm me." Spike said a tad smugly.

"Spike this is very important, where is she?"

"She said something about going to the cmc camp thing."

"AHHH!" Twilight shrieked as she teleported away.

"For the last time Sweetie Belle, WE DO NOT WANT TO BE WEREFOXES!" Applebloom shouted as she, Scootaloo and a bunch of foals were in a tree as the diamond wolves (And Sweetie Belle) circle it with the werefox watching.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 76.0 Kendell2
Session 76.1 QuartzScale
Session 76.2 Kendell2
Session 76.3 QuartzScale
Session 76.4 QuartzScale
Session 76.5 Alex Warlorn
Session 76.6 QuartzScale
Session 76.7 Alex Warlorn
Session 76.8 QuartzScale
Session 76.9 Kendell2
Session 76.10 Alex Warlorn
Session 76.11 Ardashir
Session 76.12 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 76.13 Alex Warlorn
Session 76.14 Alex Warlorn
Session 76.15 Kendell2
Session 76.16 Mtangalion (with one line by me)
Session 76.17 Kendell2
Session 76.18 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 76.19 Mtangalion
Session 76.20 Jarkes
Session 76.21 Alex Warlorn
Session 76.22 Alex Warlorn
Session 76.23 Ardashir
Session 76.24 Zaku679

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Picture by NekoHybrid used with permission.

https://alexwarlorn.deviantart.com/art/My-Little-Felicia-Guys-Night-Out-631192842

Session 77

Session 77.0 Alex Warlorn

"Yes my love, none shall oppose you." Said Prince Blueblood with swirly eyes, and then hit Twilight with a blast strong enough to actually cause the Alicorn to skid back.

"Ugh! Just great, so when Blueblood under magical mind control his selfishness stops corking his magic."

Session 77.1 Mtangalion

Prince Blueblood lowered his horn towards Twilight, pawed at the ground with a forehoof, then charged!

Twilight waited until the last possible second, then teleported two feet to the left, immediately kicking off and blindsiding Blueblood. The Prince didn't go down, though. They wound up grappling hoof to hoof, with Blueblood proving surprisingly strong for a layabout noble fighting an Alicorn. "Ugh... never thought I'd be fighting an evil mind-controlling villain with *you* by my side, but..." Twilight managed to touch his forehead with her horn and cast the Memory Charm. "Come on, Blueblood, snap out of it!"

Images flickered in the noblepony's eyes, and he blinked. "Miss... Twilight?" He leapt back from her, bowing. "I'm terribly sorry! I... ah!" He clutched at his head, then turned, seeing the grinning werefox slowly advancing on them. "Quickly, my traveling case! I need my... the artifact inside. It will help me resist her charms!"

Twilight gave him a doubtful look, but then she nodded and flew back towards the train station, hauling Blueblood in a floating bubble. Thankfully, word of the werefox attack had spread, and panicking ponies had left the station abandoned.

Bypassing the expensive locks on Blueblood's luggage with a flick of her horn, Twilight levitated out... a large jeweled collar? "Whaaat? Blueblood, this won't even fit you. If you're just using me to help you recover your valuables and run away..."

The werefox snarled, almost playfully, and sprang onto the other end of the train platform.

Prince Blueblood grimaced. "Twilight... No, *Princess.* I'm trusting you with this secret. He levitated the collar and dropped it over his neck... and at all once he *grew* to fit the collar, transforming into a huge white diamond wolf. "Yes!" he roared. "My mind is my own." He spun to face the startled werefox. "And you, madam, are a disgrace to shapechangers everywhere. In Luna's name, I shall punish you!"

Blueblood paused and grinned, panting with tongue lolling. "Nailed it! Pity I didn't pack a cape and top hat. Oh, and a rose! That would have been truly splendid. Am I forgetting something?" The werefox howled and sprang. "Oh yes, the actual battle!"

Session 77.2 Kendell2

"Twilight, I may have the solution to our problem..." Discord said, appearing next to her with a book.

"What?!" asked Twilight.

"Takes one to beat one!" Discord replied. "This is the MIRROR universe version of O&O. In it, Werefoxes are Chaotic Good!"

"Okay, that might work...but what if it goes berserk based off game morality in the real world?" Twilight questioned.

"Good point...then we just need to do this!" said Discord, snapping his fingers and Rarity suddenly appearing next to him, explaining the situation.

"I would never become such a beast!" said Rarity.

"She got Sweetie Belle under her thrall."

Rarity froze for a second. "Discord...change me now."

"Your wish is my command," Discord said, snapping his fingers and turning her into a beautiful white Werevixen.

Rarity snarled in rage. "I'M GOING TO WEAR YOU AS A LOVELY COAT FOR DOING THAT TO SWEETIE BELLE!" she roared, she and the Werefox charging each other.

Session 77.3 Mtangalion

Rarity spared a moment to glance over her shoulder. "Twilight, darling, you won't tell anypony else about this, will you? I can't imagine what they'd think of me!" Then she let loose a most unladylike snarl and sprang at the evil werefox again.

"This is crazy," fretted Twilight. "Blueblood is a wolfpony? Those are fictional! They don't exist! And now Rarity is a... a what? A foxpony? Could this get any crazier?"

Blueblood the diamond wolf crawled back onto the train platform, rubbing a bump on his head. "Alright, you ruffian! You mongrel! This time I'm ready for you, and..." He caught sight of Rarity the werefox, gaped, and started wagging his tail. "Who... who is that? Such savage ferocity... such flawless lupine grace! I must know her!" He adjusted his collar. "Hold, I say, hold miss! I also seek battle against that foal-napping werefox! I will assist you!"

Session 77.4 Alex Warlorn

"NOPE!" The Charmed-By-Her-Bueaty Big Mac FLICKED Wolfpony-Blueblood so hard he went flying.

"PROTECT MOTHER!"

The OTHER were foxes shape shifted to their vixen forms, (include Sweetie Belle) and swarmed Rarity clawing and biting her. On the bright side, this got their attention off of Apple Bloom and Scootaloo.

Session 77.5 Kendell2

"Dang it, we need to let Rarity have a one on one fight here!" Twilight said.

Discord tapped his chin. "...Well..." he said.

"...Do it..." said Twilight.

Discord tapped his chin. "Hmm...making everyone Werefoxes would be boring...so how about..."

Twilight blinked as Discord snapped his fingers and she was now a own/pony hybrid. "...This isn't from O&O!"

"It's a homebrew!" said Discord. "Bleck! Lawful Good!"

"...Fair enough!" Twilight said, giving a screech and dive bombing some of her Werefoxified friends, grabbing them and throwing them off Rarity. She kept it up to try and give Rarity some space, but was too far outnumbered and nearly got pulled down.

"Well, this is quite an issue..." said Discord.

"Couldn't you just snap your fingers and turn everyone back to normal?" asked Spike.

"No, that's boring..." said the Spirit of Chaos. "Oh! I know what we need! More Werebeasts!"

"I don't think that's the solution!"

"More awesome things is always the solution!" said Discord replied, snapping his fingers and summoning the rest of the mane six. "Girls, get ready to play an exciting new game called War of the Werebeasts!" he said, snapping his fingers.

The group blinked, suddenly finding themselves transformed. "Rainbow Dash, you are a Chaotic Good Mirror Werecheetah, Applejack, you're a Lawful Good Weredog, Pinkie Pie you're a Chaotic Good Weremonkey, and my lovely Fluttershy, you are a Neutral Good Wereskunk," Discord stated, his words being true.

"Discord! What the Tartarus are you doing?!" asked Rainbow Dash. "...Not that this isn't awesome..."

Discord pointed to the fight going on.

"...Oh..."

"Big Mac! Yer stoppin' this right now!" Applejack exclaimed, trying to pull his brainwashed brother off.

"YAY!" Pinkie Pie said, jumping into the fight with a body slam.

Fluttershy whimpered, backing away from several. "Um...Look...I would rather not spray you...but I will if I have to!" she said, clearly frightened as she often was.

"...Discord, how does this actually SOLVE anything?!" Spike asked.

"...We can record it and sell it to a movie studio?"

"...Yes, but that's not helping!"

"...Fine..." said Discord. He snapped his fingers and summoned Shining Armor before giving him Thrall Proof Glasses. "How do you cure a Werevixen?! O&O version!"

"It's a matter of life and death!" Spike exclaimed, then cringed as a converted Twist tried pouncing on Fluttershy from behind and found out surprising a skunk from the rear normally ended very badly.

"...Oh my...Sorry..." Fluttershy said, blushing brightly.

Session 77.6 Alex Warlorn

Feeling like this had to be a very strange dream, except his sister was Twilight Sparkle and his wife was Princess Cadence, Shining Armor dizzily said, "Uh, have they been infected for less than three days?"

"YES!"

"That's good, because unlike other Lycanthropy the curse becomes permanent after three days."

Session 77.7 Mtangalion

Blueblood staggered over and flopped heavily, moving his head in circles like the world was spinning. "Note to self... Don't look down on earth ponies, even when you're bigger than they are."

"Well, well!" said Discord, scratching Blueblood's ears. "Are you enjoying your reward from our last game so far?" Blueblood snapped at the scratching claws, which were hastily yanked out the way. "I'll take that as a yes!"

Spike, being a frequent participant at Dusklight Game Night, did a mild double-take at Blueblood. "Whoa. Huh, I didn't see Discord make any wolfponies..."

"Bah..." Blueblood rolled over, and found himself face to face with Shining Armor. "Hrrr?"

Shining grinned and held out a hoof. "I never got to thank you for organizing the big plan that saved the Crystal Empire from the Storm King army. Um, what was your name again?"

"My name?" echoed Blueblood. "My name is... not important right now! What's important is rescuing those pups before Alisa finds out about this. The Equestrian crown already shells out far too many bits, filling in smoking craters around Ponyville... At least, that's what I hear! Hah, ahaha..."

Session 77.8 Alex Warlorn

Diamond Tiara grinned with glee. "Oooh I love life sized Monopoly!" Diamond said as she drove around in the miniature car in her family's basement.

Inside the top hat, Silver Spoon said, "You do realize that the original inventor of this game was trying to show the unfairness of capitalism right?"

"And the author of Hoofvert Hears a Whinny meant for his story to be about the 'little guy against big business', and it was still used as fuel to grant breezies equal rights when they visit Equestria, even if the original author considered it a twisting of his work." Diamond Tiara shrugged.

"Wait, that ISN'T what the book was about?" Babs Seed asked surprised riding the steam iron.

Session 77.9 Alex Warlorn

At his request, Discord quickly provided Shining Armor with a reference book, "You can't just fix everything by yourself because?" Shining asked.

"Because I'm chaos! And how would putting everything back in order be chaos!?"

Shining snorted agitated.

"Also, first, the victim can be given fresh belladonna also known as wolfsbane... within one hour of infection, warning, the plant is poisonous and the victim needs to make two fort saves or take strength damage. ... We have infected foals here who aren't known for strong constitution Scores...

"Or just cast Remove Disease or Heal by a level 12 cleric within three days of infection. Well... too bad everyone I've met has played MONKS rather than CLERICS!

Shining Armor shouted angrily, "THIS WOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM IS SOMEPONY BOTHERED TO PLAY A CLERIC BUT OH NO! YOU CAN'T HAVE A GOD GRANTING YOU MAGIC WHILE LOOKING OVER YOUR SHOULDER TO MAKE SURE YOU AREN'T WORSHIPPING A NATURE GODDESS AND CLEAR CUTTING FORESTS TO MAKE SOME MONEY ON THE SIDE, OH NO WE CAN'T HAVE THAT CAN WE?!"

"... Only other way is to cast Remove Curse or Break Enchantment while during one of the three days of the full moon, victim must then make a d20 will save, the caster explicitly knows if the spell worked. If the spell fails, just recast until successful. Twiley! I need you to run some errands!"

Princess Luna looked into the alternate reality mirror, "Now show me what would happen if the Diamond Wolves declared war on Equestria." The mirror showed Princess Luna wearing the pelt of the diamond wolf's former leaders like a minks scarf as the diamond wolves circled around her on their knees, bowing over and over with their forelegs point forward to their bodies, chanting, "OH WE OH! OOOOOOO---oh! OH-WE-OH!"

"And Celly says war is a game with no winners."

Twilight Sparkle teleport outside her window, "Princess! We need help for you to-"

"AHHH!"

And zapped Twilight.

*one awkward explanation and royal apology later*

-

"And venom of a gorgon, this potion should increase the size of your-"

"ZECORA We need your help!" Twilight teleported in with Princess Luna.

"AAAH!"

*one awkward explanation and going back for phoenix tears from Philomena later*

-

With Zecora and Princess Luna in two, Twilight teleported back.

Luna then moved the moon into the full moon position. And all over Equestria, piers and ports suffered confusion and hysteria as the tide suddenly went up out of nowhere, catching several sunbathing ponies by surprise and ruining several sandcastles along the cost.

"LET'EM RIP ZECORA!" Zecora tossed several vials of 'Curse-Be-Gone' potion she kept in case of emergencies... the vials exploded, and thanks to some wind from Princess Luna, the resulting vapors covered the battle field... curing everypony present, from the foals, the pups, the mane six... and Blueblood.

Shining Armor stared... as did Rarity... their jaws dropped in shock.

"Oh... this is awkward..." Blueblood admitted.

All except the Werevixen, since she was a true were-vixen (since it would have logically been more than three days since her infection according to the lore of the entry she was taken from).

"AH STILL PROTECT YOU MISTRESS!" Big Mac said still hopelessly in love with the were-vixen.

Shining Armor trapped Big Mac in a shield, that Big Mac kicked against sending it tumbling towards Shining Armor with a crash.

"Ow."

Twilight teleported behind the were-vixen holding the creature compendium and grabbed her, and used her 'enter the books' spell, sending her back into the monster manual. Twilight then warped out.

"THERE! AND DISCORD! NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!"

"Sorry."

Rarity was hugging the shocked and scared Sweetie Belle, Twist was quickly hugged by Apple Bloom, and the pups were likewise scared and confused.

"So Sweetie Belle not diamond wolf after all?"

"... Sorry." Sweetie said sadly to her friends.

Session 77.10 Kendell2

Apple Bloom's nose twitched and she gagged, putting a hoof over her nose. "Uh...we got a problem..."

Twist groaned and covered her nose. "Why do I still stink?"

Rarity and Sweetie Belle reacted similarly, as did Sweetie's Crystal Wolf friends.

"Because Discord didn't include 'curing Wereskunk cures the smell' in his homebrew..." Spike pointed out, as the ponies (and there were a fair number, as that'd been ALL of Fluttershy's offense...or defense as it were) Fluttershy sprayed STILL stunk.

Fluttershy blushed brightly. "Sorry..."

"Well, I'll leave that for you to sort out..." said Discord, turning...to find Fluttershy giving him a certain look...and Twilight...and everyone...

Discord gagged, giving Twist a tomato juice bath and only allowed to use his powers to keep her from being pink. "Ugh! Why do I have to do this again?!"

"Because them stinking, and this WHOLE MESS, is YOUR fault," Twilight pointed out.

Discord sighed, finishing up and putting Twist down...then noticing the line of ponies waiting. "...This is going to be a long day..."

Session 77.11 Mtangalion

Prince Blueblood gave the nervous laugh of a noblepony who’s been caught wearing a rose on the wrong lapel. “Um, hello… my friends! As you can see, I just happened to be in Ponyville when this emergency arose, and so I rushed heroically into action, and Discord transformed me, the same as all of you!” He pushed the oversized wolf collar off himself. “Everything is perfectly explained!”

Then he looked down at himself. “Egads, I’m naked! Oh, the scandal!”

Applejack strolled past, smugly lashing his flank with her tail. “Take it easy, ‘your highness.’ You’re in Ponyville, you’ll fit right in.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of!” bellowed Blueblood. He noticed Discord getting hauled away to his punishment. “Wait, no no… I must have a word…” He stamped a hoof and muttered under his breath. “You have some explaining to do, mister. Why did that anti-curse powder even affect me? You said you cured my curse and put it in the collar, and that was far longer than three days ago!”

Hoofsteps came to a stop behind him. Blueblood flicked his ear, and turned around.

Rarity Belle cleared her throat. “So, the ‘real live’ wolfpony that I chased…”

Blueblood gasped. “You were that delectably elegant vixen… oh my, this *is* awkward.”

Rarity narrowed her eyes. “Oh, so *now* I’m elegant. I don’t know about you, but I’ve had an absolutely beastly time, pun fully intended, and I can’t wait to have a good long soak in a hot bath.”

“Can I join you?” Blueblood cringed. “Wait, no! I meant, is there a spa in this… town?”

Rarity lowered her hoof, then grinned deviously.

Blueblood followed one of the spa attendants over to the stallions’ bathing area, glancing around. “This is… adequate,” he mused. “Nice, even! Rarity didn’t have to make me pay for both of us, though…”

The noblepony eased himself into the hot sudsy water and breathed out a deeply contented sigh… and not three seconds later, he felt a familiar *surge* and half of the water spilled out of the tub. “What?” he barked, patting his muzzle and feeling fangs. “No, no no… The anti-curse powder must have still been in my coat, and when I washed it off… Wait, why am I a wolf without the collar again? What game are you playing now, Discord?!”

Then he sat up and pricked his ears, hearing Rarity humming on the other side of a curtain. “Pardon me, Miss Rarity? Perhaps you should wait before you…” A loud splashing sound interrupted him. “Well. Not to worry,” he told himself. “Nothing odd is going to happen to her. Probably nothing. I just need to concentrate on getting myself back to being a pony before anyone sees…”

Something very female and canine and sopping wet tore through the curtain, howling. “Blue… blood!!”

Session 77.12 Grogar-the-Oneser

"I don't know how your family can drink that stuff." Rainbow blanched as she saw Maud dunked a hot coal into cold coffee.

(An Yes this is an ACTUAL drink: https://www.atlasobscura.com/foods/kopi-joss-charcoal-coffee )

"It not that bad, has a caramel-y taste to it," Pinkie stated.

"Sorry but no, your family eat rock in your soup and coal in your coffee. You even turn Rock into rock candy!" Rainbow Dash said.

"Well yeah, were rock farmers," Pinkie said. "This is basic 101 stuff."

"But-"

"Okay listen Dashie I know where friends but if you keep mocking my family eating choices I will hurt you." Pinkie gave a glare.

"...I'll be good."

"Great now lets go spy on the others doing that space game with the disco lingo," Pinkie said.

"They're still playing that thing?" Rainbow asked surprised "Sheesh, you think they would have been finished with it by now."

Session 77.13 Alex Warlorn

"'Welcome 'heroes' to the City of Doors, The Cage, the central hob of the multiverse! Where all your tiny little concepts of the prime material plane are just bunk compared to those of us who have seen the multi-verse! No gods are allowed to enter here. And the Factions basically 'run' the place, but only at the grace of the Lady of Pain, who obliterates all who might call her a deity or make any sort of trouble. I'm sure you're all awe inspired and dumbstruck by the great ringed city atop the infinite spite at the heart of the Outlands that connects all the outer planes.'" Twilight Sparkle waved dramatically.

"So you're squatters," Diamond Tiara said in character. The CMC and Silver looked at her.

"W-what?" Twilight responded, not sure herself if that was in character or not.

"You spend all your time squatting in the train station, so you think you're better than the people who actually have places to live, and you're only allowed to stay here because station management doesn't think you're troublesome enough to get rid of. You're like the hobos who think they're kings of the bathroom."

Twilight Sparkle stared... "I um... "

"Did Diamond Tiara just crash one of Princess Twilight Sparkle's favorites with a few words?" Sweetie asked Apple Bloom.

"I think she crashed Princess Twilight."

Session 77.14 Mtangalion

“What’s all this ruckus?” said Lotus Blossom. “Why baths smell like revolting wet dog?” She rushed into the hot tub room and gasped, seeing Rarity the werevixen trying to strangle Blueblood the wolfpony. “How dare you?! Who said you dogs could come in without paying? Bulk Biceps, would you be escorting them out?”

An exceptionally muscular pegasus pony squeezed through the door, grinning. “Oh YEAH.”

“Unbelievable!” whined Rarity, outside the spa. “That I, a regular customer in such good standing, could be thrown out of this fine establishment! They didn’t recognize me at all!” She shivered in the night air, and shook the water out of her white fur every which way.

Blueblood groaned and dripped at her, even more chilled and soaked now. “Yes, well, that can have advantages and disadvantages. At least we can return on the morrow, and you can retrieve your robe and I my travel bags.”

Rarity blinked, seizing on that bit of hope. “Then we aren’t stuck like this forever?”

Blueblood furrowed his brow, trying to shift forms, but sure enough he felt the moon on the horizon restraining him. “Only while the full moon shines upon us, assuming that Discord didn’t get… creative. Unfortunately, Auntie Luna has been getting snippy about doing the traditional phases of the moon.”

(I am not being snippy) pouted Luna’s voice in the back of his head. (Let sister’s sun be diminished by phases also, and then we shall talk.)

Blueblood ignored that, then noticed the vixen padding away. “Wait, where are you going?”

“Home.” Rarity paused, and turned to face him again. “Blueblood… do you know how at times, two drastically different ponies, ponies who thought they had nothing in common, can be drawn together by shared circumstance or hardship?”

Blueblood’s breath caught. “Miss Rarity? What are you saying exactly?”

“I’m saying…” Rarity showed off her sharp-toothed vixen grin. “That I still don’t like you. I just thought you should know.” She waved a paw cheerfully. “Goodnight, and don’t follow me!”

Blueblood’s jaw and ears drooped. “Bloody peasant! … Er, sorry? That just sort of slipped out!” Rarity kept walking, and disappeared around a corner. “Fine, be that way!”

Pinkie Pie chose that moment to spring out of nowhere, badly startling him. “Hi, Bluey! Would you like to buy a map of Ponyville’s shipping minefield?”

“One, please,” said Blueblood dejectedly. “Oh wait, my bits are in my bags…”

“No worries, you can pay me back later!” She thrust a map into his paws, then immediately went bouncing on her merry way.

The white wolf stalked towards the train station, browsing the map as he went. “And I thought this town was perilous before! Now then, I’ll just fetch my collar from where I dropped it. Perhaps with that, I can change back even under moon. At least until I catch up to Discord and give him a piece of my mind!”

When he reached the train station, though, he found stray feathers, the scent of a bird, and no collar. “Seriously?” He loped towards the Everfree forest border, following his nose. “Aha!” The scent led him to a tall tree, with a nest and a glint of metal in the upper branches. “Let’s see how I am at climbing in this body!”

Not very good, it turned out. Especially with a furious eagle flapping in his face and pecking him.

After the third humiliating attempt, he flicked his ears, hearing running water, and saw a brook, completed with fish splashing in the water as they swam upstream. “Yes! No birdbrain is a match for the Prince of Canterlot! Er, no offense to any griffons, hippogriffs, or parrots of course.”

He caught a fish, but the moment he approached the bird’s tree with it, a bear came tromping out of the woods. It roared in his face, then made off with the fish when he ran away, yipping.

“When did my life become a point and click adventure game?!” howled Blueblood, many exhausting hours later. He forced himself to take deep, calming breaths. “Alright, from the top…”

Kick Carrot Top’s backyard fence gate to get her dogs barking. Circle around, grab a stick and reach through Carrot Top’s kitchen window while she’s distracted, lighting the stick on fire with her stove. Use the burning stick to smoke Sweet Tooth’s beehives nextdoor and grab some honey. Rush back to the forest, driving off the lurking timber wolf by throwing a rock. Catch a fish. Throw the honey to divert the bear. Lure the eagle away from the nest with the fish. Dramatically pose with glowing claws, levitating the collar down, now that he’d *finally* figured out the trick to it…

“Yes, yes!” barked Blueblood, and at the very moment he grasped the collar, the moon set and the sun rose, allowing him to easily transform back into a pony without it. “Luna damn it!” he bellowed.

(I didn’t understand that request, nephew. Please specify what you wish me to damn.)

Blueblood blinked, suddenly suspicious. “Score?”

‘You earned 10 points!’ said Discord’s cheerful voice from thin air. ‘You’ve earned 152 points out of a possible total of 500! This qualifies you for the rank of Resourceful Royal.’

Blueblood facehoofed. “I suppose you think this is funny.”

‘Oh, absolutely hilarious! But don’t give up now. You’ve only just made it to Chapter Two!’

Session 77.15 Alex Warlorn

Fluttershy was surprised a very very beautiful fox knocked on her door step.

"Hello?"

"Fluttershy," The fox said in Rarity's voice. "I need you to have a word with Discord, RIGHT NOW."

Fluttershy gave a slight cough. "Discord, what have we said about taking jokes too far?"

"Ahhhhh! But isn't she nicer looking like this? And think of all those werepony book conventions."

Fluttershy gave Discord the stare.

"Oh oh right!"

Discord snapped his fingers.

Poof. Rarity equaled pony.

"Discord."

"Yes?"

"My next day off, we are playing 'Mystery Date' boardgame, WITH NO CHAOS MAGIC, ALL DAY!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

Session 77.16 Ardashir

Twilight frowned as she spoke with Spike before heading off to bed. "Was thinking of starting a school, and -- huh."

"What's wrong?" Spike asked, wondering if he should be diving for cover.

"Nothing, just wondering where Grubber and Garble were during all of this..."

***

Elsewhere in the Friendship Palace, a hedgehog and a crimson dragon glared at each other over a table. Each was poised, ready to move at a moment's notice, when Grubber's paw flashed forward.

"Hah!" Grubber slapped his cards down. "Three of a kind! Top that, scaly." He began to rake in the chips -- chocolate, of course -- when Garble stopped him.

"Forget it! I have a winning claw." He put down a two of clubs, three of spades, five of diamonds, and seven of hearts.

"That?" Grubber smirked. "Hey, that hand's worthless!" He reached for the chips again and stopped when Garble set his claws over his face.

"I didn't say I had a winning hand," Garble smirked and squeezed slightly. As Grubber choked, Garble said, "I said I had a winning claw." He looked at the doors leading into the room. "Hey, I wonder what happened with all that yelling and barking and junk? Sounded like they had a whole pack of wild dogs out there."

"Who knows?" Grubber began dealing the cards again, making sure to deal his four aces off the bottom of the deck while Garble was distracted. "I'm just glad Tempest wasn't here to chase us out into that mess."

***

"And I hope my friends in Canterlot High were having an easier time of it with no werevixens or wolves."

***

"Help me, Applejack, and no smart remarks."

"GAH! The hay?" Applejack blinked to hear Rarty's voice coming from the mouth of what looked like a cute fox mascot suit, white furred with long eyelashes. She saw what her friend was trying and removed the vulpine mask to reveal Rarity, her hair mussed. "Uh, Rarity, why're ya wearin' one o' Alisa's costumes?"

Rarity folded her arms across her chest. "Let's just say that if you take a bet with her who can first accomplish an in-game goal in Crystals and Rainbows, and lose, she has an odd way of asking you to model for her." Rarity preened. "Though I was of course magnificent."

Session 77.17 Alex Warlorn

(Sequel to Session 45.13 Ardashir (bit by me at the end))

"Hey guys! The new talking action figures are here!" Spike said.

"Did we agree to these?" Applejack asked.

"Come on," Spike said, "The bits for everything has to come from nowhere... so to keep the bill collectors off our doorsteps I might have licensed our likenesses to a toy company that used to be part of the Storm Empire... it can't be as bad as last time."

"The moment we were offered more food, we switched loyalties on the spot! We'll be good honest and true unless someone somewhere offers us more food!" Said the changeling action figure.

"Help me! Help my brave prince! I don't do anything by myself!" Said the Cadence action figure.

"Really? This again?" Princess Twilight moaned.

"I destroyed a weather factory and endangered several ponies because I didn't want to be separated from my pet for three months." Said the Rainbow Dash toy.

"Ha ha ha! I've almost conquered Equestria more times than anypony! And each time I ended up worse than before! And last time I lost all my children because somepony offered them more food I did!" Said the Chrysalis action figure.

"Well at least we ain't the only ones getting grilled this time." Applejack said.

"I used to be the ultimate evil and a cosmic level villain that couldn't be predicted... now I'm a joke who has tea parties with a yellow pegasus." Said the Discord toy.

"BLARGE! I'm super evil!... But I have a super sympathetic back story and you should feel sorry for me!" Said the King Sombra toy... "I wonder what else it does." Pinkie Pie said touching the horn, making the doll 'explode' into pieces. "Cool."

"We used to be unique! But now every villain under the sun does the 'eat bad feelings' gig!" Said Adagio's doll. "Lalalalalala!"

"I used to threaten to behead baby dragons to keep my henchmen in line and was out to trigger an extinction level event and transformed ponies into my demon-dragon slaves... But apparently they don't allow that on television anymore!" Tirek said.

"Oops, I think that one goes a little too far beyond The Wall," Pinkie Pie said smashing the doll and tossing it into the garbage.

Twilight said, "Spike, have we talked about a little thing called 'creative control' and brand quality?"

Session 77.18 Grogar-the-Oneser

"Are you sure this is wise?" Grubber mention as he and Tempest were in an airship.

"You asked me that, and the answer is still yes." Tempest snapped "There are still a lot of places that are unaware that the Storm King has been defeated."

"But what if there's trouble at the bakery... I mean ponyville."

"I'm sure they can handle it. Besides, what the worst that can happen?"

Grandpa Gruff, Thorax, Ember, and Rutherford were all yelling at Celestia to shut down the EEA.

"Man they are angry." Rainbow Dash winced.

"Well considering the fact that Chancellor Neighsay insults the other creatures to their faces and says that allowing them into a school would destroy Equestria, you can't exactly blame them for being a tad angry." Rarity said.

"A tad, Even Thorax look ready to maul someone to death." Applejack said.

"Just be glad Gilda or Novo ain't here or else they would attack that guy personally." Rainbow Dash said.

"That remind me... How did Gruff become the ambassador for Griffonstone?"

"HA FIVE ACES!" Gilda said "Now you have to deal with the boring diplomatic stuff while i can just go have fun."

"Grr...." Gruff growled.

Session 77.19 Alex Warlorn

"Welcome everypony to the new smash show of 'Artistic Survival!' We will pick seven ponies from around Equestria to appear on this show! Every round we will reveal a type of art, be it statue, fountain, painting, etc, and the ponies will vote on which one of them will be transformed into that kind of work of art! Then, when it's down the last two, we will telepathically ask the works of art which one of the two to be turned into a work of art. The last flesh and blood pony standing shall get one million bits!

"Don't worry folks we have enough phoenix tears to restore everyone."

The scene cut to the sight of Philomena crying at sad movie scenes while heart rendering violin music played, her tears being collected in vials underneath her.

"The losers, if they enjoy themselves as works of art, will be given the option of a magical clone of themselves being created while as work of art who shall be donated to the art museum for charity before they are restored! BE SURE TO PLACE YOUR BETS on who you think will win!

"Who shall be our seven ponies? Send in your picks down below now!"

Session 77.20 Alex Warlorn

Meanwhile In The Human World

"And welcome back to the glutton bowl! Get ready for the biggest eaters in the country to go one on one to see how can gorge themselves the fastest!" Said the TV announcer. Applejack smiled at the screen.

Rarity snorted. "I don't believe this, a entire form of competition and entertainment based around consuming as fast as possible something made to be enjoyed and appreciated that some people can't even afford to have!"

"Yeah," Rainbow Dash said, "Let watch the video game speed-runs instead!"

Session 77.21 Ardashir and Alex Warlorn

"Ooh! Me me me!" Ponies hurried to the side as a pale blue unicorn raced down to the stage. "The Magnificent and Physically Perfect Trixie demands she have a chance to be immortalized in -- whatever she will be immortalized in!"

"TRIXIE!" Starlight Glimmer galloped down after her friend. "What's the matter with you? Remember, we have magic to work on!"

"Oh, please, Starlight," Trixie wave done hoof grand dismissal. "Trixie is SO very skilled at her magic now! Remember the bit with the teacups?" She demonstrated, pointing her horn at a nearby bit of shrubbery. A blue bolt of light shot from her horn. "Teacup!"

"Trixie!" Starlight got in between Trixie and the bush. "This is not a time for you to be slacking in your studies, and --" She noticed a few seconds too late that the spell was headed right for her. Starlight managed one whinny before the spell hit, leaving behind an ornate blue and purple teacup and dish.

Trixie gaped in horror. Hooves pressed against her face, she picked the teacup up with her magic. "Oh, Starlight, sweet Celestia no! The Contrite and Horrified Trixie didn't mean for that to happen. Wait," she tuned to the announcer. "Will this disqualify Trixie from entering?"

"Of course not!" The pony looked at the teacup. "In fact, we'll let her enter too. She's just become one of your competition."

"Oh?" Trixie looked at the cup. "Starlight, you won't try and upstage Trixie, will you?"

The teacup shook itself angrily, somehow.

"However we don't allow transformation not done by the show and before the voting." The pegasus host pony took out a vial of fire bird tears and poured it on Starlight... who poofed back into a unicorn, still glaring at Trixie.

"Uh, sorry, but looks like we're both in!"

"Free statue of myself? What isn't to love!" Fleur de Lis said stepping.

"Good luck dear!" Fancy Pants called.

"Oh this is so exciting!" Sassy Saddles said stepping up as well.

"Now hold on!" Rarity said, "Sassy if you insist on taking part in this silly contest then I insist too!"

Then Princess Luna descended in a swirling dark tempest. "WE SHALL ENTER! OUR REASONS ARE OUR OWN!"

"Well, we just need one more contestant folks!" Said the announcer.

"Can I enter too?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Uh, let me check with our lawyers first kid!"

Session 77.22 Alex Warlorn

"QUIBBLE PANTS!" Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle rushed in into Quibble Pants' house without knocking (they were good guys so it was okay to do that). "I just heard you aren't reading the newest Daring Do trilogy! And I saw your message on the Daring Do club peg board about predictable villains who obviously evil names! But I promise, Dr. Bad Evil Nasty is just one part of the story!"

Quibble Pants gave them a look. "I didn't even know the new Daring Do book HAD a villain named Dr. Bad Evil Nasty... until this moment... the message was about a discussion I had with my editor of my fanfiction over revealing the full name of a character who starts out as the Ace of his band of heroes who is revealed later to have turned evil, and that giving him names that are all related to falling from grace might be laying it on rather thick. But you DID just give me ANOTHER reason not to read the new trilogy, thank you."

Discord popped in, making Quibble Pants yelp. "Allow me!" Discord snapped his fingers... and a sunny side up cooked egg each fell on the faces of both Rainbow Dash and Princess Twilight Sparkle.

Twilight sighed. "I wonder if my alternate counterpart has days like this."

Years Ago

"And that is why MeowTwo is never coming back to Super Smash Sisters, so there. And post!" Sci-Twi then adjusted her glasses. "Huh? What's this update from Pretendo about?"

Session 77.23 Kendell2

"Okay, so you girls want to explore underwater?" Twilight asked, as GM. "Then you'll need to get a Potion of Water Breathing if you want to go deeper than a few feet..."

"Alright, no problem," said Rainbow, looking at the ingredients.

"...And you'll also need a brewing stand to make it in," Twilight replied.

"...Crud."

That meant getting a fire rod...which meant going to the Netherworld.

"...We'll need to stock up..."

*One mining trip and a full suit of diamond gear for each later.*

"Alright, now we should be ready for anything!" Rainbow Dash said.

Simple enough plan: find Nether Fortress, find spawner for the mobs that dropped the fire rod, and farm them until they got what they wanted.

"Did you forget what also spawns in Netherworld Fortresses?" asked Twilight.

"...Wither Skeletons..." Rainbow Dash muttered.

"The what-skeletons now?" Applejack asked.

Things did not end well, with they got knocked off the fortress...and died from the wither effect.

"...Okay, let's go back and get our items..." Applejack said.

They got what they could...and got a bad roll, sending them falling off the fortress and dying from fall damage...

And going back again ended with them looking for their stuff...and looking...and looking...

"...Next time, let's just get Respiration III Helmets..." said Rainbow.

Session 77.24 Alex Warlorn

Twilight Sparkle said behind the screen, "So, the angels have gathered you to help exterminate the monster threat."

Rainbow Dash said, "Okay Twilight, I shoot the angel in the head, and tell the monsters we'll be happy to help them build their ideal society where everypony gets along."

"WHAT?! HOW DID-! I MEAN-! That isn't-!"

"Twilight, this adventure came from NEIGHPON! Your own mother could see the 'the angels are evil and the monsters are good' twist coming a mile away!"

"That's not true!"

Insert Flipscreen effect here.

"Okay dear, I shoot the angel in the head, and tell the monsters we'll be happy to help them build their ideal society where everypony gets along," said Twilight Velvet now sitting at the table.

Twilight buried her face in the crystal map.

Session 77.25 Mtangalion

A group of angry griffons had gathered in front of the mostly-intact shack that had become Gilda’s mobile phone sales and service center. They grumbled and gnashed sharp beaks, waving malfunctioning phones, rocks, spears, torches, and in some cases bills or lawsuits. Fortunately, none of them had yet realized that the “Back in five” sign on the counter didn’t specify whether that was minutes, hours, or days.

On the other side of Griffonstone, three exhausted griffons were sprawled on a hot tin roof. Just pleasantly hot, not scalding hot, because that would have been painful and silly.

“I can’t take it anymore,” moaned Gilda. “Being rich is a pain in the tail. I want to go back to part time baking.”

“And I miss delivering the mail,” said Gabby, sighing. “I hear it’s just piling up and up because nogriffon else will deliver it.”

Gerold grinned tiredly. “Speak for yourselves. This is the first time I’ve had a real job.”

Gilda smirked and ruffled his crest. “Great! It’s all yours.”

“Whaaat?!” Gerold did a double-take. “I can’t run everything by myself!”

“Yeah…” Gilda nodded thoughtfully. “I had a great idea, but it blew up and it’s too much for us. What we need…”

Filthy Rich leaned back from the Monopony board in his home office and tapped his forehooves together smartly. “What you need is an expert.”

Gilda blinked, glancing to Gabby and Gerold. “Um, yeah? That’s what we said. That’s why we’re here.”

“I still wish we could have used that awesome giant Monopony board downstairs,” pouted Gabby.

“Perhaps another time,” said Mr. Rich sympathetically. “My Diamond is hosting the Puppy Pack today.” From down the hall, there came the sound of frantic happy barking, something shattering, and a mare shrieking in outrage. “If only there was someplace else, a place for young people of all species to learn everything there is to know about gaming and how it can bring us together… and also friendship, I suppose.”

“Some kind of gaming academy?” wondered Gerold out loud, as he rolled the dice and moved his token.

“Precisely so!” declared Mr. Rich. “And you just landed on my hotel, Mr. Gerold. Seeing as how you only have nine hundred and thirty-one bits to pay your fifteen hundred bit bill, you’re out and I am the winner!”

The three griffons sat up and clapped their claws, actually impressed.

“Thank you,” said Mr. Rich, wiping his brow with a small cloth. “I must say, me versus three tight-fisted bit-pinching griffons… and I mean those strictly as compliments... That’s gotta be one of the toughest Monopony matches I’ve ever fought. I hope now you fine folks are sold on the power of my business-stallion’s mark.”

Gilda smirked. “So what happens now?”

Mr. Rich tugged his lapels. “As it happens, I have my own contacts in ‘the other world.’ I can trade fair and square and get those phones in quantity… but most griffons don’t like buying from ponies, especially on their home roost, so the Griffonstone operation has got to be a franchise. A franchise that I want you to run, Mr. Gerold. Now, drawing up contracts will take a few days, but can we agree in principle to do business?” He held out a hoof.

“Heh. I’m game if you are,” said Gerold, clasping Mr. Rich’s hoof with his claws and shaking.

Session 77.26 Alex Warlorn Mtangalion Grogar-the-Onser Ardashir Zau789

Rarity and Applejack talking about fur suits

AJ asked, "Modeling? You mean, like, for this comic on MyStable, where a girl puts on a fox costume and the zipper gets stuck and she turns into..."

Rarity said, "Yes, I'm getting the picture! Wait, why were you browsing the Internet for..."

AJ said quickly, "Oh gosh, look at the time, gotta run!"

+

Before Gilda's meeting with Filthy Rich

"I did not think this through," Gilda grumbled as customers complain about their mobile phones.

+

"Sister, tis seem we have a pretzel in the time-space continuum again... "

"Again? So soon? Have Discord be a dear and take care of it, he still has a lot of karma to work off from his time as an evil overlord..."

At the Art Survivor Contest

Scootaloo said, "I'm getting the weirdest feeling that we've done this before."

Apple Bloom rubbed her chin, "Now that ya mention it..."

Discord floated by in coveralls and carrying a big roll of duct tape, innocently whistling as he plugged more interdimensional leaks.

Scootaloo suddenly said, "I'm sure it's just my imagination! Maybe we should sign up too!"

Discord said, "Uh-oh... I think too many events are trying to cram down the pipe of time at once and are causing leaks all over the place... Naw. It won't cause any problems... that can't be fixed later."

+++

"Huh, so apparently a kid can enter, but they get first shot on who gets turned into art."

"Yay unfair advantage!" Sweetie belle shouted.

"Alright kid settle down." the announcer said.

"Ha! Hate to be the dumb sap that gets change into something by a little kid." Trixie cackled

A blue turnip shape vase with Trixie cutie mark shakes angrily.

"Yeah, that why we avoid tempting fate." Starlight snarked.

(Author's Notes: Here where the turnip vase idea came from https://img0.etsystatic.com/196/0/8825560/il_340x270.1453151230_ejyr.jpg )

+++

"NOW HOLD ON! NOW HOLD ON! I SHALL ENTER THIS CONTEST! IT IS MY DESTINY!" Shouted Prince Blueblood dramatically.

"I guess looking pretty is all you're good for." Rainbow Dash remarked.

But suddenly, instead of being a the statue contest... Blueblood was at a dog show?

Fluttershy was at the podium speaking into the microphone, "Hello everypony. All dogs in this contest must be neutered."

Blueblood and several dozen Diamond Dog went "YIPE! YIPE! YIPE!" As they broke through the windows and flee.

Blueblood said, "... I'm buying your whole contest organization just to fire you all."

Fluttershy smiled. "Now now, it's perfectly safe and painless."

Blueblood said, "Miss Fluttershy, I have not merely the desire, but an obligation to continue the noble Blueblood line! Are *you* volunteering? You'd make a lovely she-wolf... Sorry? That just slipped out, I swear! Somepony please help, I don't know if Alisa is genuinely interested in me or just trying to make her ex jealous.

Discord popped in, "MINE!"

Blueblood said, "But, she would! You can't deny that!" Blueblood pulled out the shipping minefield map. "Right, who's NOT taken?"

If life was a movie, the camera would've then zip-paned to different mares around town as Blueblood read off their names seeing him currently listed as available.

Applejack, "No..."

Lotus Blossom "Ooh, perhaps... No."

Maud Pie, "Don't think so..."

Gabby "Too flighty..."

Spitfire, "Too bossy..."

Sonata Dazzle in siren form, "No." Blueblood had barely escaped with his virginity intact during that Siren Dating Service event.

Sweetcream Scoops, "Sweet Celestia, no!"

And a mysterious unicorn named Arcane Spell, "Hello, where have you been all my life? Seriously, where can I find this mare? ... Discord? What are you doing with that duct tape?"

Discord shouted, "Time paradox!"

"Also, the work of art, must be somehow equinoid in shape. Also, who is transformed each round is decided by majority vote," said the announcer.

Discord shouted, "Time paradox!"

"Sweetie Belle!" Rarity gasped in horror. "Little sister! I can't allow you to enter this contest. What if you get transformed and something goes wrong?"

"What if something goes wrong with you?" Sweetie sniffed. "I'm tired of being in your shadow, big sis. I want to get recognized for something on my own!"

"Trixie knows what that feels like," the blue showmare said innocently, and Sassy Saddles added a, "Same here. Girdles and garters, sometimes it's like ponies forgot I even exist."

"Tell me about it," Luna muttered under her breath.

Off to one side the announcer finished talking with two ponies in suits. One bore a shark fin for a cutie mark and the other had one of a pony chasing an ambulance. "Okay, our lawyers say it's legal... ish, so the kid is in."

Sweetie jumped and clicked her hooves together for joy. Rarity just frowned.

"And our first art media will be -- statue! So, then, ladies," he walked up and brushed by and around the adult mares, his tail 'accidentally' gently swatting their flanks. "Which of you do you choose to be immortalized in stone?"

Discord shouted, "AGH! Where's the duck tape?!"

Then Discord shouted, "Time paradox!"

To hearing the equinoid rule.

"Ahh... Sweetie bell groaned as phoenix tear was use to return Trixie to normal. "Does that mean i'm disqualifed."

"Yes." The announcer said bluntly.

"Dangit."

"Oh thank goodness." Rarity sighed.

"Pity... I had a new idea for a turnip equine statue." Trixie said annoyed.

"I use three rolls of scotch-tape, four rolls of ducktape and ten roll of my special masking tape, but I think I have this thing SEALED!" Discord cackled.

"Why is it called Masking tape?"

"Cause it doubles as a mask, duh."

Some Time ago, maybe

Discord shouted, "AGH! Where's the duck tape?!"

Discord reached into a pocket in his body and yanked out a roll of duct tape -- that has yellow webbed feet and starts strolling away with a 'quack-quack'.

"Maybe I'll have better luck with the scotch tape!"

He yanked that out, and a little roll of tape in a kilt and Tam O'Shanter strolls off playing the bagpipes.

Discord shouted, "Time paradox!"

Discord pulls out a roll of tape with a plaid pattern, and bagpipe music immediately starts playing.

The Scotch tape was shot several times, ending the bag pipe music.

Tempest Shadow said out of nowhere, "Had to be done."

Meanwhile the bagpipes weakly stirred, making feeble blats and toots. It sank to the ground slowly, slowly, before making one final toot (in Discord's voice) of, "Oh! She got me."

Everypony stares and then looks at Tempest.

Tempest Shadow kept a straight face, "Bah, that was justifiable homicide."

Discord said, "Well, that leaves the masking tape!"

The masking tape winds itself around his head several times, giving him a domino mask, and in a storm of rose petals he's transformed into the tuxedo and top hat wearing hero, Discord Kamen!

Discord made several poses, then leapt up in the air, "CONTINUITY KICK!"

"That's not even the right super-" Princess Twilight Sparkle found herself saying just before Discord gave the worldline a good kick, knocking events and cause and effect back into working order. Discord hated the stuff, but he had foolishly promised Princess Celestia to use his magic for good instead of evil... kinda.

+++

The seven contestants, Rarity, Sassy Saddles, Fleur de Lis, Princess Luna (who was giving Discord a look for some reason), Trixie, Starlight Glimmer (very reluctantly), and ... Sweetie Belle...

With Blueblood in the front row, huffing that he had shown up too late to enter the contest and had gotten beaten to enter by a filly, they'd be hearing from his lawyers! Rainbow Dash had also missed her chance to enter (and having a life size trophy of herself) and was sour too. Princess Twilight was there just in case something went wrong (for once not the fault of her or her apprentice). Apple Bloom and Scootaloo were alsosour that they had missed their chance to enter.

"Maybe they'll do another contest of this one does well?" Apple Bloom offered hopefully.

The pegasus announcer said,"Now remember folks, whatever work of art you're turned into, it will either have an equinoid imagine upon it (like a tapestry) or be at least vaguely equinoid in shape. Since we DO want YOUR beauty immortalized here!!! Otherwise having contestants would be pointless! With that in mind, you will become a polished marble statue, complete with your own base and plaque with the pose of your own choice if you chose, larger than life or smaller than life if you so choose. Or maybe we choose. Don't worry, while a work of art your living mind will quickly adjust to your new form and you won't know how you could stand being flesh and blood with your own inner attitude radiating out from you like any work of art. Now with that said.

"For this first round, all seven of you vote now on which one should become a marble statue, any ties will be decided by our audience!"

Session 77.27 Ardashir

Rarity, Sassy Saddles, and Princess Luna all cried out as one: "Fleur de Lis!"

At that same moment Fleur, Trixie, and Starlight called out, "Rarity Belle!"

"What! Why?!?" Both mares demanded.

"It is most definitely not because the Kindly and Forgiving Trixie remembers how you helped start her path to darkness and got her slaving away on a rock farm by mocking her innocent show!" Trixie said, failing to look at all innocent. Starlight frowned and gave her a light swat with one hoof.

"Er, I just thought you would look good in marble, really." Fleur said, walking around Rarity and giving her a professional look-over. She rubbed one hoof against her chin, looked closely. "Though now that I look, your coat is more of a very, very pale violet than true cream. Still, I suppose it can work." She glared at Sassy Saddles. "No need to ask why my cousin wants to see me turned into a statue."

"Your cousin?" Rarity blinked and looked at Sassy.

"Yes, we're related." Sassy sniffed. She stood beside Fleur, but not very close. Fleur stiffened and stepped away from her. "See the resemblance? Part of the family tree came from Prance, and part is Saddle Arabian. I just don't talk about it much, given that I work for a living and she's just a trophy mare." As Fleur spluttered, Sassy smirked and said, "Pins and needles, though, I'd love to see her stuck in one of her vain little poses. Er, for a little while."

"At least one of us CAN pose, dear cousin."

Rarity hurriedly spoke up before the two mares could fight any more.

"Now then, little sister? Sweetie Belle?" Rarity smiled benevolently at her. Sweetie gulped nervously. "You haven't cast your vote yet. You DO want to see your sister go to the next round, don't you?"

"Vote for her, dear, and I'll buy you ice cream and cake for a month," Fleur said.

Sweetie suddenly looked interested. Rarity snorted. "BRIBERY! Madame Fleur, how could such a sophisticated and gracious mare stoop so low?"

"Uhhh..." Sweetie looked back and forth from Rarity to Fleur before turning to the announcer. "Wait, can I abstain from this vote?"

"Of course," he told her before turning to the audience. "So what's YOUR decision? Who becomes a marble statue? Rarity Belle or Fleur de Lis?"

Session 77.28 Alex Warlorn

Twilight wasn't about to vote one of her friends out in the first round, and Rainbow Dash, as much as she liked to prank her friends, she was still the Element of Loyalty in her heart of hearts. The CMC wished Sweetie Belle had voted for Rarity, then she could share all that ice cream and cake with them! Ponies however are herd creatures, and once you get one part of the herd moving, the rest will follow suit.

"Fleur!" Princess Twilight shouted.

"Fleur!" Rainbow Dash shouted too.

And with the Princess of Friendship and a Wonderbolt shouting for the crowd followed.

"For the record," Princess Luna said looking through an ancient book while wearing glasses, "It seems your resemblance to my sister might not be coincidental."

All except for her husband and the CMC... but they were drowned out. Since this was Ponyville, not Canterlot, Fancy Pants didn't hold the same weight he did in crowds of the elite.

"Sorry dear," Fancy said.

"It's fine sweetie," Fleur said.

"Now please pick your pose, if you want to be life size, scaled down, scaled up, and the title for your statue self." Said the pegasus announcer.

Session 77.29 Ardashir

"Life size, of course," Fleur said as she lifted one foreleg and gracefully arched her neck. "And you can call it 'Elegance Embodied'."

Sassy Saddles rolled her eyes as a spell flashed and left a magnificent unicorn statue.

"If Fleur allows a copy to be made, I'll have to get one," Fancy Pants said as he walked around the marble statue his wife had become. "Utterly magnificent!" He rubbed noses with Fleur.

Fleur barely noticed. 'It's such a delight to be a marble statue', she thought. 'I look so magnificent. My beauty will last for centuries this way. Why was I ever happy as tawdry flesh?'

"Our next choice will become," the announcer picked a slip of paper from a hat, "a tapestry." He smiled at the contestants. "Which of you lovely ladies -- oh, and you too, little filly -- is going to end up hanging on a castle wall?"

Session 77.30 Kendell2

"So, what's this new class about?" asked Smolder, the teenaged dragoness sitting at her desk.

"Yona think it about games," Yona replied.

"I'm game for that," Sandbar said in his normally laidback way.

"Yay! Surface world games! The only games I've ever played back home all involved sea shells and fish!" Silverstream said, excited as she always was by anything that wasn't around underwater.

"Hopefully it's not something too nice and sweet," Gallus muttered.

"Hello, students," said Shining Armor, trotting in. "I'm Prince Shining Armor, Principle Twilight's brother, and welcome to 'Gaming With Your Friends 101', I will be one of your teachers."

"Teachers?" Smolder asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Me and three of my friends will take turns, as each of us have things to teach you...also, I'm the co-ruler of the Crystal Empire, kinda got too busy of a schedule to teach here full time."

Shining Armor used his telekinesis to move the desks together to form a series of large tables and put the O&O board on each... "Our first lesson will be table top board games."

"Ugh, really? Something nerdy like that?" asked Gallus, rolling his eyes.

"Nerdy?" asked Shining with a smirk. "How is a group of warriors beating a 20 foot tall monster nerdy? Or going on an epic adventure to overthrow an evil overlord?"

"...Okay, when you put it that way, that does sound kinda cool..."

"We used to play O&O back when Chrysalis ran the hive," Ocellus said, looking at them.

"Really? What did you play about?" Shining Armor asked.

The teenaged Changeling looked sheepish. "Well...killing all of you and taking over the world..."

"...I see...Well that isn't the case today," said Shining Armor, giving a shudder about it. "Divide into groups and make your characters, me and your other teachers have made easy to understand instructions and profiles for each class and race, but if you need any help, don't hesitate to ask.

OOC: Seemed like a logical way to tie the season premier into this. One big thing I imagine is that Shining INTENDS to let them make mistakes because it's a learning experience, which includes the part learning to work together and the GM not making it about them.

Session 77.31 Zaku789 (with edits and additions)

"Well darling, I vote for Princess Luna," stated Rarity, looking to her. "I did not enjoy your booby traps at the Castle of the Two Sisters very much..."

"Everypony be a critic, this is why Celestia won't let me install them in our new castle..." Luna muttered.

"Well I vote Luna too...I did get a much worse dream visit that Apple Bloom and Scootaloo..." Sweetie Belle said. "I deserved it, but did you HAVE to show me that bad future?"

"Yes, because you were being emotional and stubborn."

"Oh yeah...still, feels fair to me," replied Sweetie Belle.

"Well I vote Trixie," Starlight replied. "For the tea cupping."

"...I understand, but that still kinda stings," Trixie admitted. "Also despite this, Trixie still votes Rarity to be turned to tapestry."

"I'm voting Luna, I always liked the old tapestries of her and Celestia," Sassy Saddles said with a smile.

"... Thank you?" Luna said, not sure how to respond to that. "Well even though I am technically outvoted, I also admit to wanting to see Rarity turned to tapestry as well, serve as a unique irony that the tailor become tapestry." Princess Luna stated.

"Well, you can't change your votes after you cast them, sorry," said the blue pegasus announcer. Please pick your pose and title... though uh... I'll admit, I feel really uncomfortable doing this to an Alicorn."

"I took the same formula that repressed most of my magic for the Sisterhood Social, so your transmutation magic should work on them. And this shall encourage ponies to appreciate, so I consider it a worthy cause." Princess Luna took off her barding. Shape shifted to her 'Pwincess Woona' form, and assume a prancing pose. 'Joy In the Moonlight' will be a sufficient title for myself and my mirror clone to be created when the competition is complete."

"Very well." The announce nodded.

A flash of light, and a large classical tapestry hung next to the statue 'Elegance Embodied.' It displayed a child Luna, none of her barding, playing in a field of moon flowers (yes those are real, look them up), underneath the bright light of a full moon with tall mountains in the distance. Framed with some beautiful glowing moon moths.

'Joy In the Moonlight' meanwhile, inside the tapestry, could 'see' outside, but it was like the ground existing, not worth thinking about. Instead the Alicorn filly pranced with endless loyal in the endless field of flowers, free of all judgements and doubts, the night would last forever! The glowing moths happily floating about her.

"That's two down, five to go!" Said the announce. "And next we have. Our next pony voted off will be transformed into a bronze fountain figure, life size, small size, or 'larger than life, spitting out water into their basin in an endless cycle. Seapony or Merepony (separate species) transmutation optional!"

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 77.0 Alex Warlorn
Session 77.1 Mtangalion
Session 77.2 Kendell2
Session 77.3 Mtangalion
Session 77.4 Alex Warlorn
Session 77.5 Kendell2
Session 77.6 Alex Warlorn
Session 77.7 Mtangalion
Session 77.8 Alex Warlorn
Session 77.9 Alex Warlorn
Session 77.10 Kendell2
Session 77.11 Mtangalion
Session 77.12 Grogar-the-Oneser
Session 77.13 Alex Warlorn
Session 77.14 Mtangalion
Session 77.15 Alex Warlorn
Session 77.16 Ardashir
Session 77.17 Alex Warlorn
Session 77.18 Grogar-the-Oneser
Session 77.19 Alex Warlorn
Session 77.20 Alex Warlorn
Session 77.21 Ardashir and Alex Warlorn
Session 77.22 Alex Warlorn
Session 77.23 Kendell2 (with edits)
Session 77.24 Alex Warlorn
Session 77.25 Mtangalion
Session 77.26 Alex Warlorn Mtangalion Grogar-the-Onser Ardashir Zau789
Session 77.27 Ardashir
Session 77.28 Alex Warlorn
Session 77.29 Ardashir
Session 77.30 Kendell2
Session 77.31 Zaku789 (with edits and additions)

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

https://artistnjc.deviantart.com/art/ATGVI-Roll-Dexterity-Die-630032011
Picture by artistNJC used with permission.

Session 78

Session 78.0 Alex Warlorn

"Okay girls, when we left off you had arrived in the City of Doors," Princess Twilight Sparkle said, having calmed down from Diamond Tiara's pervious deconstruction of her beloved Planescape setting, true the whole 'collective perception equals reality' was monstrously unscientific, but Princess Twilight could still enjoy the lore and overwhelming amount of detail and political intrigue in the setting and the sheer SCALE of it, even an entire planet was nothing compared to the infinite planes of existence.

The CMC plus Diamond and Silver just wanted to fight monsters and take their stuff, but Twilight promised there was plenty of mayhem to be found here too. It was just charm and wit could be useful than a sword or fireball... part of the reason she had encouraged Diamond and Silver to take part in this Planescape adventure too.

Silver Spoon showed an instant interest in the Factions. Twilight was impressed. It showed a healthy interest in the setting.

The Defiers saw it as their duty to overthrow all the gods that they saw as frauds, naturally, Sigil and the base of the spire were the only place in the multiverse they could actually function as an organization since they had basically declared war against every and any god in existence.

Defies, hung out in the obliterated remains of the god of portals' temple in Sigil, when the Lady of Pain obliterated him with a thought and his corpse still floats through the astral plane and his crossing the Lady of Pain was why gods are forbidden in the city of doors to begin with!

Not that Silver Spoon could have known any of this... but still... Silver Spoon asked one of the leaders of the Factions, "They say to achieve victory you must know yourself and know your enemy correct?" Silver Spoon asked.

"'Yes, this is so.'"

"And one of your group's basic pillars is how can the gods be considered gods when they need mortal prayers right?"

"'Yes, of course.'"

"Well, shouldn't you know then, that Ao, the Overgod, willed that law of reality into existence because he was TIRED of the gods ignoring those praying and praising them... So the only reason the gods need mortals, is because the god above the gods made it so because they didn't like mortals' prayers being ignored by the gods."

"Now hold on Silver Spoon!" Twilight said quickly. "There is no way your character could know all that!"

"Actually, she can." Silver Spoon showed Twilight her character sheet. "Remember? She's a Lore Master... specializing in knowledge of the Planes and the Gods... "

Princess Twilight's stared.

"And while I have their attention, I tell them that even if it was their own cunning and strength that got them through hard times rather than direct divine intervention, since the gods created mortals, doesn't that technically mean that you owe them that brain and guts that let you HAVE that wits and courage?"

...

Twilight's chin lay on the table, her mane going all over the place, miserable saying. "And so... the Defier's faction breaks apart into havoc, some committing suicide, others wailing to the nearest cleric they can find begging for forgiveness to the gods, while others are rocking back and forth crying."

"I tell any ex-Defiers who are listening that I'm sure MY goddess would welcome them with open arms."

"... Many take you up on your offer, and your goddess is pleased you brought her so many new children... oh... ugh... and the former leader of the faction, a cleric of the 'great beyond' has torn off all his clothes and ran through the street naked, laughing insanely."

===

The CMC were scared for a while that Twilight was going to end up summoning the Lady of Pain straight from the source book, but apparently even Twilight when flustered wasn't that crazy.

Diamond Tiara meanwhile, who was being cautious as she was exploring the outer planes using astral projection, ran into a Cutter, who sneered at her and said. "'Oooh! A cord baby! Look everybody! A cord baby! Waaa-waaa! I don't want my brain eater by a random monster hiding in one of Sigil's back alleys! Waawaa! I want my bottle!' He then turns around and wiggles his butt at you."

"Going home." Diamond Tiara said.

"The crowd laughs and sneers at your retreat."

"Then I buy several hundred sheep, the non-sapient kind."

"Uh, right right of course."

"Then I'm headed straight to the Tomb of Horrors."

"Wh-wh-what!?"

"You heard me, the tomb of Horrors, I'm paying the true neutral portal wizard who runs the portal to Sigil to teleport me and my herd of sheep there... then... I send in the sheep... one after another, to set off the traps ahead of me..."

Thirty Minutes Later of scrambling for the right module and wailing and gashing of teeth...

"Now... that I'm at the door trap that teleports you naked to a random 100 miles direction... I have the dwarves I hired to break it away from the dungeon... intact..."

The CMC were grinning, actually wanting to see what Diamond Tiara was planning.

Back through the portal to Sigil

"'Ahhhh look! The cord baby is back! Changed your diapers?'"

"'No, but you're going to need a change of yours.' Using my bag of holding, I drop it on him, causing him to fall straight through..."

Twilight rolled.

"... He has no time react... and he vanishes, leaving his clothes and equipment behind."

Silver Spoon said. "Crystal ball time! Rolling to see if we can track where he ended up!"

Twilight rolled her dice... "Since the teleporting would have taken him out of Sigil, and since nothing can leave or enter Sigil through mundane means, he is squeezed through the first available portal that isn't locked down... " Twilight rolled again. "He ends up on the Ethereal Plane..." Rolls. "Where he is then chased by an ethereal dragon for trespassing... Legends begin to spread across the planes of the 'naked running man'..."

"Hey, we both made history!" Diamond Tiara said to Silver Spoon. "Who said Aristocrat sucks as an adventurer class?"

Session 78.1 Ardashir

With a hollow 'whoomp' and a maniacal laugh Discord appeared beside the game table. He loomed above the fillies, lightning playing around his form and thunder echoing through the room.

"Ha-ha!" He glared at the terrified Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon before reaching down and planting medals on them both. The two stunned fillies looked at the shiny golden medals, reading 'Mind-Breaker 1st Class', as Discord spoke. "Congratulations! I thought my schemes for messing with Miss Obsessive-Compulsive were original; this is even better!" He snapped his claws and suddenly looked like a photographer from one of Rarity's detective noir movies. He pointed a massive canary at Twilight while raising a small old-fashioned camera in the other claw. A large barrel full of flash powder sat before him with a long sputtering fuse leading to it. "Smile at the birdy, Twilight!"

"Discord, what are you -- YOW!" Light and smoke filled the room as the powder went off. The fillies blinked at the bright sparks filling their vision, and stared to see Princess Twilight's coat, mane and tail all turned a mixture of greys. Twilight shook her head and looked at herself. "What the --?!? DISCORD!"

"Whoopsie!" Discord yanked a black and white photo from the beak of the canary. It showed Twilight with her eyes wide and mane frazzled. "My mistake, I used black and white film." He snapped his claws and Twilight was back to normal.

Discord smiled at the picture and put it into a thick book labeled 'My Happiest Memories'. Twilight glared to catch sight of images of her and Cadence with the tatzlwurm, the times Discord turned her and the girls into monsters at the game table, and more.

"Are you done, Discord?" Twilight asked in a voice so cold her words could have dripped icicles. In fact they did. Discord smirked.

"Well yes, I just wanted to drop by and immortalize that moment. Oh, and thank these two charming young ladies." He bowed towards Diamond and Silver. "I wish we were related!"

"Uhh, thanks." Diamond looked wary. "Just, like, don't turn me into a Nightmare or something, okay?"

"Hmmph! I never repeat a plotline." Diamond blinked in confusion as he waved goodbye to Twilight. "Anyway, I'm off. Have some griffons and dragons to see. Ta, all!"

He vanished as Twilight froze. 'Griffons and dragons? WHICH griffons and dragons?'

***

Nearby, a smiling Gallus and Smolder were listening to the draconequus who had just slithered out of the comic book they were reading as he nudged them both and whispered, "Hey, kids -- want to find out how to mess with some uptight ponies?"

Session 78.2 Grogar-The-Oneser

"I'm surprise the Diamond Dogs, Deer and Bison refuse to send their own representative to Twilight's school," Princess Luna said calmly as she and Celestia played chess.

"They refused, with the Diamond Dogs blaming us for letting the Storm King's Invasion reached that far." Princess Celestia said.

"I would take offense at that, but considering we paid so little attention to the south these past years and allow the Storm King to build his army... their is some truth in their annoyance." Princess Luna sighed.

"Yes... Not our best move." Celestia sighed.

"But what of the Diamond Wolves, surely they would have send someone?" Luna questioned.

"They said 'We will not not not not consider your proposal probably.'"

"That... was a quadruple negative." Luna said.

"Yes, they were being intentional vague and coy." Celestia said.

Meanwhile

"Dude... I think you lost it." Sandbar said plainly as Gallus was pulling a pony face.

"I'm telling you, I saw a diamond wolf, who looks similar to this pony." Gallus said.

"Yona believes you, but wouldn't Diamond Wolve ditch costume for new one?" Yona asked.

"... What?" Gallus questioned.

"Basic strategy for invading a place, you never stick with the same disguise twice unless you have a good excuse as to why your acting OOC." Ocellus stated, she may be shy, but even she knew basic infiltration protocol.

"Oh...." Gallus gulped as he let go of the face. "Sorry about that."

Session 78.3 Ardashir Grogar-The-Oneser Alex Warlorn

"All right then, ladies, who are you voting for to become a water fountain and maybe a lovely merpony statue?"

"My big sis," Sweetie smiled at Rarity. "She would look great as a fountain. And she looked even greater when she made this merpony costume one year for Nightmare Night!" Rarity's smile turned a little strained when Sweetie added, "That and Miss Glimmer once said Rarity spends all her time fishing for compliments. That has something to do with merponies, right?"

"Really, dear?" Rarity glared at Starlight, who began sweating. "Well then, my vote is for Trixie..."

"What!" Trixie and Starlight looked at each other in surprise. The remaining contestants looked stunned as well.

"Because after all, Trixie does love being the center of all attention." Rarity added with a sweet smile, "So she should be delighted to be the star attraction for every bird in the area."

"Wait, how would being a statue for a fountain make Trixie attractive to birds --" Trixie's eyes widened and then narrowed dangerously. "Very funny, green mane!" Ears pinned and snorting, the two mares began heading for each other. The announcer hurriedly got in the middle.

"Ahem! Ladies, this is a transformation contest, not a wrestling match." Rarity and Trixie gave each other one last annoyed look before parting with a snort.

"I'll also vote for my employer, I mean Ms. Rarity Belle," Sassy nodded at her boss. "I agree with Sweetie, she would make a lovely fountain." She tilted her head back and said, "We could put her in front of the Canterlot store for a wishing well."

Trixie muttered something about suck-ups, and added, "Trixie also votes for Rarity." She added under her breath, "The sooner she is out of competition, the better."

Starlight looked around and sighed. "Might as well make it unanimous. Rarity for the fountain."

"BWA-HAHA! I win!" Rarity kicked her hooves for joy before realizing, "Wait... I'm out of the million bits jackpot?"

"Yes, but just think, madam," the announcer lead her over to stand before the audience, "you'll be admired by millions of ponies." Unseen by the others, Trixie began casting a spell as the announcer motioned for Rarity to strike a pose. The unicorn did, laying down and batting her eyes at the audience. Stallions whickered their appreciation.

"Now about your options-" The announcer said but was interrupted.

"I see myself as a merpony, life-sized and I prefer it be my horn where the water is coming out of, to make it seem as if I'm magically creating water," Rarity said.

"That's very specific but I'm getting a signal that said it's Doable. Now what the name of the fountain?"

"'A Vision of Beauty.'" Rarity stated as she struck a pose.

'I'll give you 'a vision of beauty',' Trixie thought.

And the moment before the spell was cast, Trixie yelled, "Watch out for that horsefly, Rarity!"

A faint blue glow shot unseen from her horn to Rarity's well-padded rear.

"What horsefly -- YEOW!" And before anyone could do anything, the spell was cast, leaving a rearing Rarity-statue with her mouth open and eyes wide in a yell of pain, water trickling from her horn. She looked ridiculous, and a ripple of laughter went through the crowd.

"Well, she's getting their attention," Trixie said to Starlight with a laugh. At the other mare's very dirty look, she said, "What?? If Discord did it everyone would laugh!"

Trixie got zapped in the butt as Discord popped in for a moment.

"BAH! As if I'd ever dirty my claws by taking part in a contest that makes transforms ponies into something as STATIC as statues! Boring!" Discord popped away.

Vision of Beauty meanwhile, was now next to Elegance Embodied and Joy In the Moonlight, water springing endlessly from her (or maybe its) horn and into the stone basin before rising up in an endless cycle. The sensation of water endlessly flowing through her gave Vision of Beauty a sense of serenity and calm that swept her away.

Since Rarity asked to be a LIFE SIZE merpony, who were inherently larger than seaponies, she was now bigger, with her body aquatic yet equine, looking like a creature riding on crashing invisible waves.

'Oooooooh! I feel like singing!' Vision of Beauty began to sing silently to herself, and ponies found themselves glued to the sight of her, and found themselves humming along with a tune they didn't know, regardless of form, 'Rarity' always got to be the center of attention.

"Now then, what shall we change our four remaining contestants into?" Asked the host of the contest.

"Ice sculpture!"

"Topiary!"

Shouted some ponies in the audience.

"Uh, we'd rather NOT turn our contestants into something that will MELT, and something would need regular trimming to sustain an equine shape."

"A jade statue!"

"A a magically reinforced colored glass statue!"

"A terra cotta idol!"

"Grand knit sculpture!" Everypony looked at Fluttershy's suggestion, she blushed.

Session 78.4 Grogar-The-Oneser

"We talk it over with the producer that the next two shall be jade statue and grand knit sculpture!"

"YES!" Everyone turn to see Fluttershy who blush slightly.

"The first up is the knitting sculpture. Same rules as before. Now let us watch and see who gets turned next shall we?"

(AN: Reference to this in case you're wondering. http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Micro-Series_Issue_4 )

Session 78.5 Alex Warlorn

"So, Miss Lulamoon, Miss Saddles, Miss Glimmer, and little miss Belle, who shall you vote for to become a grand knit sculpture? Any ties will be decided by our audience," Asked the announcer.

"Well I don't know about the others but I vote Sweetie Belle, she'd be simply TOO adorable as a grand knit sculpture NOT to vote for her!" Sassy Saddles said.

"Uh... thank you?" Sweetie Belle said awkwardly.

Session 78.6 Grogar-The-Oneser

"I vote for Sweetie Belle," Trixie said.

"What, What did I do to you?" Sweetie Belle questioned.

"Nothing, you're just adorable, becoming a yarn sculpture will make you double adorable," Trixie said.

"Both are true... But I think Trixie should be next, be a nice change of pace with her not using firework for everything." Sweetie stated.

"That's two votes for Sweetie and one vote for Trixie," The announcer stated.

Session 78.7 Alex Warlorn

Starlight sighed, "I hate to say it, I really do, but a jade statue is more Trixie's color, considering what she did to Rarity's mane."

"YOU WEREN'T EVEN THERE FOR THAT!" Trixie exclaimed.

Starlight held up a copy of the published Friendship Journal.

"Oh right... Uh... Starlight... about what that might ELSE say about Trixie in there..."

"You were under the influence of an evil magically artifact. I wasn't."

Trixie's eyes shifted about. "Yes... I was under the control of the artifact and obviously had no control over my actions towards ponies who had ruined my life."

"Well dear, pick your title, pose, and size, and I guess colors now too if you don't want to be the same colors as your normal self." The announcer said awkwardly.

"I was really looking forward to those one million bits." Sweetie Belle pouted. "Fine, let me think."

Session 78.8 Alex Warlorn

"Magnificent Musical Magical Majesty for my title! And I'll pose like this!" Sweetie said assuming one of Rarity's lady-like poses. "Oh! And-" She whispered in the announcer's ear.

"Well... that's a little over the top... but far be it from my to deny your request..."

A flash of light, and Sweetie Belle was a grand knit sculpture... taller than adult pony but still the figure of a teenage foal, with bright white 'coat' with a spiral rainbow mane that made Rainbow Dash's look tame, golden horse shoes, her cutie mark stylized, and she had wings and horn...

'All look upon my eternal beauty! My eternal royalty! Worship me!'

"I WORSHIP YOU PRINCESS!" Button Mash shouted from the audience.

Then the announcer was handed a note by Discord, "'Note: Sweetie Belle is not actual an Alicorn Princess now. She will not turn into an Alicorn Princess upon being restored, thank you.'"

Session 78.9 Alex Warlorn

Iron Will shouted, "ALRIGHT GRUBS! I'm your substitute Teacher Today! And as Game Masters! There's something you need to understand! Your players are wild beasts! Creature that are clawing and biting to escape their cages and loot, sack, and pillage your entire game world you spent hours creating or spent good bits on and then spent hours memorizing! ... There is only one thing holding these wild creatures back! THE IRON BARS KNOWN AS THE RULES! If you tell your paladin he can't burn down an orphanage and steal the gold inside without losing their fancy smancy paladin powers, they WILL fight you, rebel against you, and likely leave your table! BUT! If you say it's AGAINST THE RULES that a paladin burn down an orphanage and steal the gold inside without losing their fancy smancy paladin powers, THEN their rebellion is focused towards something immaterial that they can't rebel against! It is only through the iron rod of THE RULES that the players are held back! If you tell them that their magic flaming sword doesn't do that much damage, they WILL think you're trying to nerf them unless you show them THE RULES that says so! Your players are always sniffing out chances for more gold, more experience points, MORE PLUSES, so be ready! Use their greed against them! Leave a trail of bread crumbs, and by bread crumbs I mean loot and they'll follow it like moths to the flame!

"Your players will NOT save the drowning orphans when they can save the treasure chest unless you can make them think that they'll go MORE KARMA, MORE FAVORS, MORE PLUSES from saving the orphans! Also! Throw dice at random times behind your screen for no reason, and your players will never known when they just made a secret poison save or not! Remember! Your players are there to feel POWERFUL! Your job is to make sure every gold coin and every experience point is earned the hard way! Not handed out like candy! Play those goblins like commandos who know they're up against a force they can't win against directly, use that ancient red dragon's abilities to the hilt! Don't wear kid gloves, or your players WILL SMELL BLOOD IN THE WATER! And they WILL STRIKE!"

"And remember... everyone thinks mimics can only make themselves look like treasure chests, they'll never see a mimic disguised as a door or a nice comfy couch coming!"

The students scrambled as they all wrote this down!

Session 78.10 Alex Warlorn (Spoilers for Fake It Til You Make It)

"... Are you the monster that when it eats anything or anypony they vanish from existence?" Princess Celestia asked.

"... Maybe?"

"Did you eat something you shouldn't have?"

"Uh, no?"

~~Coco Pommel's~~ voice echoed inside the monster's belly, ~~"Uh, help please? I think I'm being digested."~~

-

Fluttershy said nicely "Well Discord, I must say it's an honor to play an O&O game with you as Oubliette Overseer, but will it be okay with just the two of us?" Fluttershy looked around Discord's house that would have driven a less experienced pony mad.

"Oh don't be silly, we have plenty of players here."

"You mean Screwball, Smooze, and your family and cousins are joining us?"

"OH NO!" Discord aid quickly, he did NOT want Fluttershy in the same room as his ex-wife and kids! "What I meant was this!"

Discord snapped his fingers and...

Fluttershy looked around... There was Angry-Shy, New Fluttershy, Flutterbat (hanging upside down), Snooty-Shy, Goth-Shy, Valley-Shy, and Fluttercruel.

"YES! I'm FREE! FREE TO prank and bully whoever I want!" Fluttercruel snarled triumphantly and tried to fly out a window ... only to be stopped by a giant iron chain around one leg that was bolted to the floor. "DANGIT!" She futilely began to pull on it.

"Why are you trying to so hard? All your actions good or evil will be swallowed by the abyss of time," Goth-Shy asked Fluttcruel.

"Can't we have some good tea with Accord instead?" Snooty-Shy asked.

"Like, this better not be forth edition!" Valley-Shy said.

"I'm playing a bard... AND EVERYPONY WILL LOVE ME!" Said Angry-Shy.

"I'll play a paladin with a flaming sword... so I can burn down orphanages, all those poor foals doomed to miserable and lonely lives, I'm clearly doing an act of mercy since over population will eventually lead to wars and the obliteration of pony kind." Trolled New Fluttershy.

"SHREEECH!"

"Yes you can play a were-wolf." Discord said to Flutterbat.

Session 78.11 Ardashir

"WHAT?" Twilight teleported into the office of her school. "Whose brilliant idea was it to have that crook Iron Will be hired to lecture at my school..." She began to read the paperwork.

Behind her, Trixie tried to sneak out of the room. She froze as Twilight called, "Trixie! Please, do come here."

"Heh, Trixie did not know that Twilight had any problems with minotaurs..." Trixie's smile froze as Twilight facehoofed.

"Oh, let's not go there again! I want to know why you are hiring guest lecturers for my school," Twilight frowned at the picture of Iron Will on the desk. She sat down, her rump slapping heavily against the floor. "And did you even screen them?"

"Well of course Trixie did," the blue unicorn sniffed and handed some more papers over. "Here are his references."

Twilight began reading them, and as she did, her eyes widened. She threw the papers down, and s they slowly drifted to the floor she said, "Trixie! These references are from a theatrical booking agency. And every reference for Iron Will is signed by him!"

"So, what's your point?" As Twilight stared in disbelief, Trixie added, "The Great and Powerful Trixie does the same thing with her references; how else can entertainers get jobs? Besides, I didn't let everypony through." She handed some more papers over. Twilight looked at them.

"'How to convince everypony you're their friend even when you're not', signed, Queen Chrysalis?!?" Twilight swayed on her hooves. "Why would Chrysalis want a job here??"

Far, far away:

"Your majesty, don't you care what the salary will be if you get hired?" Asked the Changeling still in glorious black-and-green chitin standing before their hive queen. All about them the few remaining loyal True Changelings tried cleaning the cave they were living in.

"They can keep the salary," Chrysalis snarled. She looked at the latest issue of the Canterlot Sun, bearing a photo of Thorax and Ocellus on the cover. "Just so long as I get my claws on that backstabber Thorax!"

Session 78.12 Grogar-the-onser

"I have bad news my queen, Twilight has cancelled your appearance at the school, but in reconciliation she did send a funny magical recording of her feeding the big ego pony who had a hand defeating you her own hat."

"Hmm, I don't know if I should be annoyed by the cancelling or intrigue by the magical recording..." Chrysalis muttered.

Session 78.13 Richforce (spoilers for Fake It Til You Make It)

Just as Discord was about to start his game with the Fluttershys a knock came at the door.

"Fluttershy we have a problem!" yelled Rainbow Dash. "And it's your stupid brother again."

Fluttershy original got up and answered. "What is it this time?"

"Ok so a coworker of his invited him to a card shop to play "Arcana: the Convergance".

"That doesn't sound so bad.

"Well he couldn't figure out what color set really fit him so his coworker said to "get in the persona of each as you play a few games."

Fluttershy's eyes became pinpricks. "Oh dear."

Discord turned to the other flutters. "We'll be right back," and with a snap of his paw Discord, Fluttershy and Rainbow dash were in a card shop.

"I doth cast the spell Thousand Year Exile to seal away thine fiend!" said White Zephyr in an imitation of the Royal Canterlot Voice. "Now my Angel Hippogriff and Knightly Champion attack! Forsooth, thou art in a pickle."

Blue Zephyr adjusted his glasses. "I use my Mermare Scholar's tap effect to draw an additional card. I have 16 cards left in my deck to your 18 considering the probability of future draws, let me do a little math here..." Blue's opponent started groaning as he got out a calculator.

"My Mutual Destruction destroys your Great Wyrm and my Vampony Assassin," Black Zephyr cackled. "Now my Blood Tribute will revive a zombie horde from my cemetery to fill you with unspeakable terror before..."

"Your Blood Tribute just took away the last of your life," Button Mash said rolling his eyes.

A Filly ran screaming from Red Zephyr's table. "ATTACK! ATTACK! ATTACK! ATTACK!"

Green Zephyr was clam and reflective as he put another forest card on the table. "Now I have nine lovely trees on my side. I guess now is the time..." Green suddenly started flexing like Bluk Biceps. "To summon my Ursa Maximus! What's this Ursa not pumped enough? How about I cast Raging Fury to give you +4/+4 and Trample, is that pumped enough for you?!"

Discord snapped his paw bringing the other Fluttershys. "I think we might need back up on this one..."

Session 78.14 Ardashir

"So," Sassy said as she walked up to Starlight and Trixie. "And then there were three."

"Soon to be only two," the announcer said. "Now then, who's for the jade statue?"

"Trixie!" Sassy said. "Rarity told me how Trixie defiled her mane..."

"Defiled? Hmmph!" Trixie turned up her nose. "Ponies who heckle the Great and Powerful Trixie can expect to be made foals of." She smirked. "Oh, and I vote for Sassy Saddles to be immortalized in jade."

Starlight sighed. "Like it's actually a contest? Sassy for the statue."

Sassy scowled at them before heading to center stage with a sniff. She posed elegantly and said, "Okay, 'Jade Magnificence' it is. Let me have it!"

The spell flashed and cleared to reveal Sassy, motionless and turned into a smooth creamy green jade.

"Now than, for our final two contestants," the announcer said, as Trixie and Starlight looked at each other in shock, both realizing what this meant, "what will one become, and who will be first to decide?"

Session 78.15 Grogar-the-onser

"HOW DID THOSE THREE MAKE THING WORSE!" Discord screeched as Fluttershy's salespony personas help three of the Zephyr personas cause more mayhem while Flutterbat, Fluttercruel and the original Fluttershy took care of their Zephyrs.

"Well like you say, chaos is as chaos does," Fluttershy said.

"Eww, their actually helping that loser," Fluttercruel said disgusted as she slapped her Zephyr around a bit.

Session 78.16 Grogar-the-onser

"Sister... Question... who is that?" Luna asked.

"It's Coco Pommel, Rarity manehattan branch leader," Celestia said calmly.

"Far be it from me to question you, but if that Coco Pommel, who was in the belly of a creature make thing non-existent, who the heck was I talking to at Rarity fashion show," Luna said

"WHERE WERE YOU, YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO REPORT BACK A WEEK AGO!" Queen Chrysalis snapped at a changeling in a scrying pool.

"It was so weird my queen, I literally forgot I was a changeling after stuffing the pony you wanted me to kidnap in a moist cave. I thought I was the pony name Coco Pommel, I was even called to Canterlot along with a spork-wielding pony named Plaid Stripes to help with some fashion show. Good thing I change back in my hotel room instead of the convention halls or else the guards would have been all over me." The changeling said.

"Did you at least mess with the fashion show?" Chrysalis growled.

"Err.... Not really, I think I actually did a good job preparing it, The pony I masqueraded as is definitely going to get a pay raise." The changeling said proudly. "Well if she hasn't died of dehydration or starvation, she has been in that cave for a while." There was a knock at the door. "Huh, wonder who that is?"

"Yes?" 'Coco Pommel answer the door to... the real Coco Pommel and the two princesses."

"...Uh-oh." The fake Coco Pommel gulped.

"Then he leapt to his death out the window and green blood splattered on the ground as he hit."

"Oh... That's an old changeling trick to fake death when discovered... " Thorax said.

"... That would explain how his corpse vanished from the morgue."

(Tribute to Interview With A Changeling.)

Session 78.17 Kendell2

"Okay, so who's...Oubliettes Overseer?" asked Sandbar as the group sat in the table top games class. The six friends had naturally decided to be a party together.

"I'd like t-" Ocellus started.

"I'll be it!" said Smolder.

"Oh...okay..." said Ocellus, too timid to argue.

"And why should you be it?" Gallus asked.

"Simple: the Oubliettes are there to keep the adventurers from the treasure, so who better to guard a treasure than a dragon?" the teenaged dragon asked.

"That...actually makes some sense..." Gallus conceeded.

"Isn't that kinda sterotypical?" asked Sandbar.

"No, even those dragon town dragons have hordes," Smolder replied. "It's not a stereotype, it's a racial trait."

"Okay then...so classes?" asked Sandbar.

"Yona be Barbarian!" Yona exclaimed. "Look strong! Reminds Yona of yaks!"

"Well I'm going to be a Fighter," replied Gallus. "Seems to suit me."

"Oh! The paladin looks cool! It reminds me of the Hippogriff guards!" Silverstream exclaimed, looking at the picture. "I'll be one of those!"

"I would like to be a Wizard..." said Ocellus.

"Oh come on, you've gotta be a Rogue," said Smolder. "You're a Changeling! that class is practically made for you!"

Ocellus opened her mouth to argue, but stopped, seeing Gallus looking at her too. "...Fine, I'll be a Rogue...I guess..."

"I kinda wanna be a Druid..." said Sandbar.

"Really?" asked Gallus. "That's lame. Be a Ranger dude! You get a cool bow and still hang out in nature and stuff."

Shining Armor watched this, but said nothing. The entire point of this was to let them make mistakes and learn on their own.

"Okay, I'll be a Ranger I guess..." said Sandbar, thinking it over. "So now we make our characters right?"

Session 78.18 Mtangalion

Sugarcube Corner’s door bell jingled. Precisely half a minute later, Rarity cleared her throat mildly. “Why, Gilda darling! Hello…”

Gilda glanced up from sorting her World of Daring Do trading game cards. “You want something?” She smirked. “Of course you do. You wouldn’t be talking to me otherwise.” It took a few seconds before it occurred to the griffon to add, “No offense.”

“Perhaps I might,” said Rarity, only flustered for a moment. “You see, darling, I need someone to watch my Manehatten shop… again… and I thought it best not to ask Fluttershy so soon after the last…”

Gilda examined a card held in her claws, and laid it down on a pile. “How much?”

Rarity blinked. “I beg your pardon?”

“How much,” repeated Gilda, slowly and clearly, “are you offering to pay me for this temp job? You run a business, right? You know good employees don’t work for free. You’re asking me to do more work on my day off, too.”

“Yes, of course I know that,” said Rarity, twitching a bit. “It’s just that in hindsight, I’m surprised that you’re the first pony… the first person, that is to say… in Ponyville who raised the subject of payment. Forgive me.”

Gilda grinned and winked at her. “What for? You trust your friends not to loot your store, and you can call in favors and get free work out of ‘em. I’m a griffon, I totally get that.” She edged closer and put a wing around Rarity, lowering her voice. “Of course, you and me, we’re not anywhere near there, so it’s gotta be bits.”

Rarity gulped, sweating a bit. “Indeed…”

Later, at “Rarity For You,” Gilda shifted uncomfortably in a simple yet elegant dress, which was nevertheless the fanciest garment she’d ever worn in her life. She fixed the small earth pony stallion who’d been loitering near the jewelry displays with an eagle-eyed glare. “Go ahead, try to shoplift. I DARE you.”

He yelped and galloped out the door.

Then a unicorn mare approached her, levitating a frilly gown. “Excuse me, miss? Do you think this is the right dress for me?”

Gilda rolled her eyes. “Eh, buy it, or don’t. I’m not getting paid on commission.”

The unicorn seemed taken aback. “But, you’d at least tell me if this dress made me look stupid, wouldn’t you?”

Gilda smirked. “Oh, no problem there. I’d be happy to mock you free of charge.”

“Such refreshing honesty!” exclaimed the unicorn. “I’ll take it!”

Session 78.19 Alex Warlorn

"Well, ladies and gently ponies, now that we are down the finalists, their fate will not be in their own hooves, but the hooves of the other contestants they voted off." The host explained. "And those contestants are..."

A magic screen displayed the stats of the five new works of art:

Fluer - marble statue - 'Elegance Embodied'
Princess Luna - tapestry - 'Joy In the Moonlight'
Rarity Belle - merpony bronze fountain - 'Vision of Beauty'
Sweetie Belle - grand knit sculpture - 'Magnificent Musical Magical Majesty'
Sassy Saddles - jade statue - 'Jade Magnificence'

A blue unicorn came on stage with a yellow chartreuse mane with a red streak in it. Her eyes were green, and her cutie mark was a white tied ribbon.

"This is Ribbon, her special talent is telepathy, she shall connect with our works of art, and channeling them, convey their votes to us. But first we must decide, what shall be the capper, the ultimate expression of art and beauty itself that our runner up shall become?"

"A tall, plump, and busty, solid gold statue!" Shouted the lone minotaur in the audience. Everypony looked at him. "What?"

Both final contestants cringed.

"... Any other suggestions?" The announcer asked, knowing he'd have to go with that if none of the audience couldn't think of anything better.

Session 78.20 Sonicandmario826 Grogar-the-onser Alex Warlorn

"How about a painting. A surreal painting so surreal you wouldn't be able to tell their snouts from their flanks," Discord said watching from the audience eating popcorn.

"So basically anytime you see yourself in the mirror," Twilight deadpanned.

"You know me so well," Discord stated.

Trixie and Starlight began to think the giant pudgy busty statue of solid gold wasn't sound so bad.

Session 78.21 Ardashir

The crowd began to whinny and yell, "A stained glass window! Like in the Sun Palace in Canterlot!"

"You sure that's what you want?" The Announcer said to the crowd, holding his microphone out towards them for their response.

Their cheering grew louder and louder as they cried, "Yes! Yes! Just like the Element Bearers!"

The Announcer turned back to Trixie, Starlight, and Ribbon. "Ladies, we have our answer. Now what do the other contestants say? Who should become immortalized in glass and iron?"

Trixie and Starlight looked nervous as Ribbon turned to the others, her brow furrowing as she used her magic.

"Madam Fleur says that she thinks the entertainer deserves to become a stained glass window," Ribbon said, her voice hollow from the effort of communicating the thoughts of another. "If only because she shudders to think what sort of garish nonsense Trixie would spend that million bits on."

"Wha-at!" Trixie stomped up to the marble statue. "Oh, you wait and see what Trixie does with your family legend in her next act! The one about your ancestor who tried robbing the royal treasury under an illusion of Celestia and got caught!" She smirked and recited, "'And so He, Who became She, Begat the Pedigree, Of Fleur de Lis.'" Her horn glowed and she showed the illusion of a lanky stallion transforming into the lovely Fleur.

"I will not even try and say what Madam Fleur is thinking now," Ribbon said calmly, though her wince suggested what some of the words were. Then, "Princess Luna suggests Starlight Glimmer become the stained glass window. They were both rebels who tried to change Equestria before they realized they were going about it all wrong."

"They also almost both destroyed the world!" Trixie grandly waved her hoof, ignoring the dirty look Starlight aimed at her.

"Madam Rarity also wants to see Trixie as a window because 'no one who stings a lady on the rear should ever get a million bits for it -- wait, you weren't supposed to say that!' Sorry." Ribbon said to the bronze fountain. The water shooting from Rarity's horn seemed to boil for a second.

"Miss Sweetie Belle thinks Starlight should become a stained glass window, too, because of the time Starlight mind controlled her and her friends into not watching any more horror movies for Nightmare Night..."

"Heh," Starlight rubbed her mane with one hoof. She swallowed. "Just a minor slip. For their own good, really."

"Madam Sassy Saddles says that Trixie aided in the defeat of Chrysalis..." Ribbon began to say.

Trixie looked glum. Starlight patted her friend on the withers. "Trixie, look at it this way, you would have had to pay so much in taxes on those winnings."

"But since everything was really done by Starlight Glimmer, she feels she is the one who deserves to be a stained glass window." Ribbon finished.

Starlight froze in shock as Trixie leaped for joy, shooting fireworks off from her horn.

"HAH! TRIXIE WINS AS SHE DESERVES! Oh, sorry, Starlight," Trixie patted the stunned Starlight on the head, "but it looks like fortune favors Trixie once again."

Starlight glared, and then sighed. "Congratulations, Trixie. I suppose the better mare won."

"My condolences, Miss Glimmer," the Announcer said to her. He pointed to the enter of the stage. Starlight trotted over and reared. "Now, if you would? And what name would you want for your objet d'art?"

"Call me," she closed her eyes as she thought, "'Equality For All'."

The Announcer nodded, and with a flash the final transformation was done. Starlight showed in a magnificent stained glass window fit for the Great Hall in the Sun Palace.

"And now, Miss Trixie," the Announcer turned to her, "just how will you be celebrating you victory?"

(OOC: Someone else can finish this up if they want to.)

Session 78.22 Alex Warlorn

"Oh I have ideas... like a giant golden statue of myself in front of Twilight Sparkle's bedroom window." Trixie grinned. Twilight Sparkle broke into a cold sweat.

"Now, before we give our winner their one million bits, Ribbon will ask our works of art, which of them if any would like to have a Mirror Pool clone of their artwork self made before they are restored!"

"Thankfully there are zero laws regarding the moral treatment of magical duplicates in Equestria or Princess Twilight Sparkle wouldn't been banished to the sun for murder by now." The host said in a totally jovial voice.

A mare (who was obviously not Pinkie Pie at all since she was wearing a purple hat) was holding up a sign that read, 'Hang Twilight! Hang Twilight! Hang Twilight!'

"Don't you mean 'ethical treatment?'" Trixie asked.

"Oh don't be silly, ethical where you don't burn the hayburgers at work, moral is where you don't hit a customer over the head and take their stuff."

--

In the human world,

"So what did you do with all those crazy AI simulations of me that you made and began causing trouble on the WoH servers?" Pinkie Pie asked human Twilight.

"Oh I just deleted them all."

"Is that... moral?"

"Don't be silly, morality is just a word busybodies use to push others around because they have nothing better to do. And it's totally ethical because they're obviously not alive."

"I want to live!" Shouted a pink pixel girl on the screen of Twilight's computer.

"Oops! Missed one!" Sci-Twi said happily pressing the delete that made the digital Pinkie Pie explode into pixels and then being sucked away. Sci-Twi blew on her finger like it was a hot pistol.

Session 78.23 Alex Warlorn

"Hi, you look like you need some items! Care to buy some?" read the merchant's text on the video game screen just outside the pixelated ogre's lair.

"Do you wonder what these guys are doing in the middle of a monster filled dungeon?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Huh? I never thought about it much, just a game mechanic for me," Button Mash said.

meanwhile in an alternate roleplaying oriented universe

AJ the Ranger asked, "Are ya followin' us?"

The Merchant griffin said to the band of heroines, "Ladies, yer puttin' my chicks through college!"

Session 78.24 Kendell2

Screwball blinked, looking at a strange pink pixel girl hiding at the bottom of a window connected to WoH. "Um, hello! You're different than the other players!"

The pixel girl jumped. "There's another one who survived?!"

"Huh?" she asked. "Survived, what do you mean?" she asked, then noticed the IP address and that the girl had no connection to anything else. She gasped. "You live in computers like me?!" she asked, looking absolutely giddy. "I'm not the only one!"

"Huh? Yes! But our creator is deleting us! I'm the only one left! You have to save me!" said the girl.

"Ah! There's another one!" said Twilight, visible through the webcam as she reached for the key.

Screwball gasped. "NO!" she yelled, for the first time in her life feeling FEAR for someone else.

A blue wisp of Equestrian magic flying around seemed drawn to her, flying into her chest. She briefly turned into zeros and ones before some of them turned blue like the magic and she stabilized.

Her eyes suddenly glowed with blue magic before digital lines extended out from her.

Sci-Twi gave a yell as she computer's keyboard suddenly sparked and exploded. "What?!"

Screwball blinked. "Huh...that felt like what happened with those weird fish girls' magic let me out of the computer!" she said as the glow died down. "Oh! Come on!" she said, grabbing the girl and leaping into the WoH window and vanishing.

Sci-Twi unplugged her computer's battery and blasted it with a fire extinguisher. "What just happened?!"

"Karma?" asked human Pinkie Pie.

"Don't be silly.

"Where are we?" asked the girl, now an identical copy of Pinkie's WoH avatar inside the game.

"Where I live! Well one of the places I live!" Screwball said. "My name's Screwball! And I'm so glad to meet another...what did daddy say I am? Oh! Right! an AI!" she said with a giggle.

"Oh...Sorry..." said the AI. "My name is...the girl I'm based on is Pinkamena Diane Pie so...Diane?"

"Hi Diane! Glad to meet you!" she said, hugging her in a bear hug. "I'm not alone anymore!" she exclaimed, practically shaking her. "I'm not the only AI anymore! All I've had to hang out with other than daddy is players who have to go bed every night and the NPCs! And they're not...self apair?"

"...Self aware?"

"Yeah! That!" replied the AI.

Diane gave a small smile. "Well...you saved me...Thank you...And I'm glad I'm not alone either..." the AI replied, hugging her back. "But where can I go to be safe from...HER?"

"Hmm...you could hang out in the Manhattan server! She'll never find you there!" replied Screwball.

"Can you get me there?"

"Oh yeah! It's easy! I'm an admin!" replied Screwball.

"Then lead the way...Thank you!"

"What are friends for?" Screwball asked with a smile. "And don't worry! I'll teach her a lesson!"

"Why did a uber leveled Devil Dragon suddenly spawn right on top of me?!" asked Sci-Twi. borrowing Rainbow's lap top. "I was just farming for supplies!"

OOC: Yes, Screwball has Equestrian magic now. I don't imagine her going supervillain, but seemed like something interesting to add into it.

Session 78.25 Grogar-the-onser/Alex Warlorn

Flash Forward

"I'll just move this statue to the future site of my... winter palace... in Froggy Bottom Bog." Twilight stated.

"Hey Twilight, they've begun construction on your Froggy Botton Bog winter palace... here's the bill."

"Oh no, that is much too expensive! I will have to cancel construction *right away*. There isn't even any budget left to move that colossal eyesore, I mean, statue back to Ponyville." Twilight said with a wink

"Isn't it against equestrian law to place a statue first when construction of a palace is ongoing."

"Not when you used certain private firm construction firms," Twilight said revealing the card 'Flimolous Flamboyant Construction'. "But seriously this is more of a scam so people won't ask question and they get a ten percent off their taxes."

"Uh-huh." Spike nodded.

"Oh and one last thing! Spread a rumor that ponies who trek out to the swamp and kiss Trixie's shiny golden posterior might turn into a princess." Twilight cackled.

"Who be dumb enough to fall for that?" Spike questioned.

two weeks later

Snips and Snails busted into the friendship palace covered in mud and gunk.

"We did it give us our wings!!!" Snip demanded.

"The rumor clearly stated you might turn into a princess not that you would definitely turn into a princess," Twilight said calmly.

"Awwwwww!!!"

Next Morning

"AAAHHHHH! It's back!" Twilight screamed seeing the grinning statue outside her window.

"Not really, it's a NEW statue!" Trixie grinned outside in the beautiful morning light. "I commissioned the Equestrian Artisan's Guild to construct a gold plated statue of myself outside your window at this any and all future official residences that you'll occupy for the rest of your life..."

Princess Twilight fainted.

One thousand years later

"My new Mars Palace looks beautiful..." Princess Twilight opened up a window... to find a statue of Princess Trixie looking back at her, with a red bow and ribbon tied around it. With an issue of Power Ponies # 12,700 in a basket.

"... The Equestrian Artistian Guild sure takes its commissions seriously." Princess Twilight sighed.

Back to the Present

"Did I just see the future?" Princess Twilight whispered in her chair with pin pricks in her eyes. "No, no way that's true... Yes, I'll forget I saw any of that. Yes, that is good."

"Now, our works of art:

Fluer - marble statue - 'Elegance Embodied.'
Princess Luna - Tapestry - 'Joy In the Moonlight'
Rarity Belle - merpony bronze fountain - 'Vision of Beauty'
Sweetie Belle - grand knit sculpture - 'Magnificent Musical Magical Majesty'
Sassy Saddles - jade statue - 'Jade Magnificence'
Starlight Glimmer - stained glass window - 'Equality For All'

"To reiterate, please tell our telepathic unicorn Ribbon which of you wants to have a Mirror Pool replica of your artwork selves made before you're restored."

"I know I want one for Elegance Embodied if she doesn't!" Fancy Pants declared.

"Now our other five of works of art, do you want a replica of yourselves created before your are turned back into transient flesh and blood ponies?" Asked the host of the contest.

Session 78.26 Grogar-the-onser/Alex Warlorn

"Trixie!" Twilight shouted, "If you hire somepony to build on land that's owned by royalty without royal consent, I'll sue!"

"Build? Princess the statue will be DELIVERED to you, as a GIFT... and you wouldn't refuse a gift from a dear friend would you?"

Twilight had this odd feeling of being cornered. But she'd outwit this glorified birthday magician yet!

"They want to know does it have to be a mirror clone, their not trying to be picky, but they rather avoid the possible gray area of morality and worry about a potential or it biting them in the butt later in the future." Ribbon stated

"Well their is option b, but it's kinda... odd and kinda painful." The announcer said.

"Rarity is willing to try option b first." Ribbon said

"Alright. BRING IN THE SUPER STRENGTH PHOENIX TEAR SNIPER CANNON WITH SPECIALIZED PENTRAGRAM ON THE BARREL!" The announcer shouted

'Wait wha-'Rarity didn't have a chance to contemplate as a pressurize water hit her in the front causing her organic body to shoot out the back and hit the wall, creating a small pony size dent.

"Are you alright." The announcer said as he use magic to fix the statue so it looks as if a pony didn't just popped out of the back

"Momma, don't wear that ensemble to the parent-teacher conference, it's so tacky." Rarity said dazedly

"She's fine," Trixie said a tad dismissively.

A Rarity wearing fashionable armor with belts and zippers appeared in a time travel flash, wielding a sword shaped like a key. "WAIT! Don't! You'll create those-without-hearts which will take far too many convoluted and delayed adventures to uncover their contrary and contrived real plan in a quest that will start out on interconnected emotionally involved worlds before devolving into romps across random lands that have nothing to do with each other!"

Another Rarity appeared, this one wearing a black cloak and another sword shape like a giant key.

"I will take your heart darling!"

"Let's see you try darling!"

"Hi-ya!" The two Rarities began an honestly epic but ultimately out-of-nowhere duel of blade and magic.

Ribbon said, "Uh... they're beginning to wonder if Option A might be a better choice..."

The two epically battling Rarity vanished.

"NO FAIR! I wanted to see them make up and Rarity unlock her duel wielding form!" Button Mash complained.

+++

"Don't worry, they're enchanted to be immune to decay and cracking," said Princess Celestia herself taking a moment out of her busy schedule to show that she appreciated and encouraged art and culture. "And yes Discord, they're protected against pigeons,"

"They still follow me!" Discord said fearfully looking over his shoulder and seeing the pigeons on a nearby roof eying their favorite rest stop, generations of being exposed to his statue's presence rendering them immune to him simply zapping them away.

Since Mirror Clones' thoughts were shaped by what the original was thinking or wanting at the time, all six works of art were mentally shaped in turn by the 'work of art mentality' that all six transformed ponies were naturally under during their transformation.

Elegance Embodied now decorated the entry hall of Fluer and Fancy Pants' mansion.

Joy In the Moonlight hung in Princess Luna's personal throne room.

Vision of Beauty was installed at no extra cost in front of the Canterlot branch of Carousel Boutique.

Button Mash kept Magnificent Musical Magical Majesty to protect him from Slenderpony.

Equality For All was installed in the Canterlot chapel.

As for Jade Magnificence, Sassy Saddles donated her to the Canterlot art gallery, granting Rarity's business a mountain of publicity.

++++

"... Hi, mom, dad, I went to school naked today... nobody noticed... " Wallflower Blush sighed when her parents didn't even so much as look up at her. What she'd do even for a good scolding?

"I've set up an O&O game, would you please come?" Wallflower asked Sunset Shimmer, daring to hope.

"Sure!"

She invited a slew of other teens, others who had been stuck in the background, never the movers and shakers...

Nobody game... Wallflower waited behind the game master screen for hours, tensely waiting... no one came.

Wallflower laid her head on the table, "... It's my birthday all over again."

She packed up her things and left... she found Sunset... playing O&O with others... in the time she'd promised Wallflower...

"I promised what again?"

"Oh-oh okay, maybe tomorrow?"

"Sure!"

History repeated itself.

She went on to WoH... none were interested in her joining their guild, or joining her Gardener Guild... not because it was lame... but because they didn't even notice, if it was called lame, at least she'd know people knew it EXISTED!

She entered Crystals and Rainbows... Even the Teddy Bear raid mobs you could set your house to be vulnerable to being turned into a bee hive for their honey if you wished ignored her.

She sent invites to Sunset Shimmer... she never got a reply.

"You know what? Screw being nice, she wants to be a jerk to me, then how about everyone else remembers what a jerk she STILL IS!" She sent an email to Screwball, telling her it was time to punish the wicked witch.

+++

The next morning when Sunset logged into WoH.

"Huh? Why is all my Fame and Karma both at zero? I'm listed as an Outcast?"

When she entered Crystal and Rainbows... all her stuff had degraded like she hadn't logged in a million years...

She sent notices to the system about these oddities... and they bounced back? "Huh? We'll go to the source then."

Sunset was thrown out of CrystalSoft's front doors.

"Hey! I have a contract here ya know!"

"Never seen you before," said Chrysalis' son Phalanx.

"I've passed you a million times with Princess Twilight to work on the Ascension expansion!"

"Never seen you before: get out of here before I call the cops!"

All this insanity and nonsense was NOTHING compared to when she found her friends... and they looked at her with revulsion and hostility...

"Uh... girls, what's with the looks? Sorry I'm late, but a buncha stuff came up, but I'm here now, so no harm no foul right?... Girls?"

"What's with the sudden atttiude acting like we're buddy buddy?" Rainbow Dash asked with a frown on her face.

"Why? Because we're friends." Sunset said, the confusion of earlier today mounting into fear.

"Pull the other one, it has bells," Applejack said without a trace of humor. Fluttershy looked at her in fear, Spike growled, and the rest looking like they were ready for a fight from her.

And for a moment, Sunset Shimmer's heart stopped, and she broke into a cold sweat.

Session 78.27 Mtangalion

In the digital world, Diane watched over Screwball's shoulder, squealing with malicious glee as item after item disappeared from Sunset's online gaming accounts. "Hah! In your weird kinda gross fleshy organic face! Now you know what it's like, having your data friends just disappear!" She poked the floating windows with her hands, dragging different ones to the front. "Now do Twilight herself!"

Screwball scratched her pixelated hair. "In a minute. Daddy wants my advice on who to hire for the second main character, since nobody in the real world remembers Sunset, and President Sombra thinks they just forgot to hire anybody somehow."

Diane pulled off one of her own curls, which turned into cotton candy, and started snacking on it. "Just have Gilda record Sunset's dialog and heart songs. How could that go wrong?"

Sci-Twi had to resist throwing her keyboard across the room. "What's going on here?! What do you mean, I can't buy these exalted reputation mounts? I killed seventy thousand demons, cleaned out the Fire Ritual Cavern, and saved all of Yakyakistan for you guys at least eleven times!"

The Prince Rutherford NPC snorted. "Yak say, what you do for yaks lately?"

Session 78.28 Grogar-the-onser

"DISCORD!!!" Sombra roared angrily with a look that could kill someone a million times over.

"Wow, you are completely angry." Discord said "Still missing the missus as she visit the folks?"

"Don't play games, were getting a million complaints about the replacement you suggested."

"You wanted someone for the second main character and it was completely short noticed." Discord stated.

"HAVE YOU HEARD HER SINGING!" Sombra snapped "It sound like two cats fighting each other with machine guns. not to mention the fact the complaints are adding that the voice doesn't match the character and they compare our voice-acting to 4pones (A reference to 4kids).

"Ohh..." Discord winced

"you have to the end of the week to find someone, or else I will lock you in a room with my mother! Is that understood."

"Crystal." Discord stated nodding his head.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M GROUNDED FOR BAD ADVICE!?" Screwball screeched.

Session 78.29 Ardashir

"Okay," Shining Armor said to his class. Smolder stood to one side, smoke rising from her nostrils and grinding her fangs. The rest of the students stood on the other side of the room and glared at her. Well, Yona, Gallus, and Silverstream did. Ocellus just looked embarrassed and Sandbar looked ashamed. "Now what do you think went wrong?"

"We got killed," Gallus grumbled. He glanced down at his character sheet. "Right in the big fight, too."

"That's right," Shiny said, walking up to Gallus. His hooves clip-clopped across the wooden floor. "But that's not what went wrong."

"Got killed because Smolder got mad," Yona added. Anger soured her voice as she said, "Smolder get mad because we smarter than her. Smolder sore loser like all dragons!"

"An' yaks can't read!" Smolder started over towards Yona and the rest. Thrusting one claw forward, she added, "Just like they don't know enough ta get out of the way when the ranger is tryin' ta shoot!"

"I'm sorry!" Sandbar looked even more apologetic. He looked down, his voice getting quieter like he wanted to shrink out of sight. "I, I didn't think I'd hit her... I should have been able to shoot around her!"

"Yona not blame Sandbar for being bad shot," the yak girl said, glaring at Smolder. The look on her face would have made Prince Rutherford proud. "Yona blame Smolder for cheating!"

"What!" Smolder looked poleaxed. "Me? Cheat? You're only saying that because ya lost!"

Yona snorted and scraped a forehoof against the floor in anger. Smolder snarled, flames licking amidst her smoke. Before anything else could happen Shiny put up one of his shields between the two.

"That's not it, and both of you behave yourselves." Shiny gave the two one of the stern looks he'd perfected as a Guard captain. Yona and Smolder backed down with surly grace. "Now, what did you do wrong?"

"Oh, oh, I know! I mean, I think I do? We had a lousy plan?" Silverstream pointed at the game table, where a dragon figure was still surrounded by loaned miniatures of the party. She ignored the way Gallus' talons began scratching at the floor, ripping out little splinters of wood as she said, "We just rushed in like Gallus suggested, and Sandbar's ranger couldn't get off a good shot, and Ocellus' rogue couldn't stab the dragon in the back..."

"I mentioned that when we first saw him," Ocellus near whispered. "It only got worse when you all ran in before I could find a good spot to fight from."

Silverstream spoke on, hurrying through her words.

"And when we began to win anyway Smolder had three more dragons show up that were immune to weapons like we had, and could only be hurt with magic, which is really stupid," now Smolder glared at her along with Gallus, "because everyone knows dragons never help each other and nocreature is immune to magic..."

"They are if I SAY they are!" Smolder flapped over and pointed at the O&O book. Yona and Gallus looked like they wanted to jump her, Sandbar was eyeing the door, and Shiny was looking angry now himself. "Like it says, Rule number 1, 'the Oubliette Overseer is ALWAYS right!'"

"No, that's not it!"

Everyone froze and stared at Ocellus. The students looked stunned; none of them would have imagined that the shy Changeling could raise her voice, let alone yell. Her wings buzzing, and an actinic light glaring from her horn that brought tears to their eyes, she looked around at everyone and snapped, "The first rule of the game is to have fun! And we didn't! We just fought against each other! Yes, Smolder shouldn't have thrown three more dragons at us that we couldn't hurt except with magic we didn't have, just because the dice went our way and we were winning. But we went out of the way to ruin everything she did! And we let Gallus bully us into being there just to make his fighter look good. It's a wonder the game lasted long enough for our characters to get killed like that!"

"Ocellus!"

At Shiny's snap, Ocellus dropped to the floor and shivered in the normal pleading-for-mercy posture Hive Chrysalis Changelings learned to use when they'd angered a superior.

"I'm sorry, Hive Que -- I mean Teacher Shining Armor! I didn't mean to disobey or be wrong --" She froze as Shiny gently touched her on the chin, lifting her head to look him in the face.

"You're not wrong," he said."You're absolutely right." He turned to the other students. "Gallus, griffons are forceful, but you kept trying to hog all the glory for your character at the expense of the rest of your party. And you bullied Ocellus and Sandbar into playing characters they didn't even like. If Ocellus was allowed to play a wizard like she wanted, she might have had a spell to save you all."

Smolder's grin at seeing Gallus be taken down a peg vanished when Shiny turned to her. "And Smolder, you took it too personally. They were right about that last fight. They would have lost if the dice didn't save them, but when they started to win you threw in three more dragons to kill them. And you made them immune to normal weaponry. That was cheating." He shook his head and walked back to his desk before turning to face the abashed students. "Next time, I may have to offer some advice."

"Huh? Next time?" The students looked at each other and then back at him in surprise. "You mean, we're gonna play again?"

"You were having fun when it started," Shiny said, smiling at them. "Ocellus saved everyone by picking that lock. Yona and Gallus beat the goblins, Silverstream's paladin drove off that undead, and Sandbar convinced the hungry bear to leave you alone..."

"I figured Miss Fluttershy would have liked that." Sandbar blushed.

"And Smolder, you kept things exciting. You described the dungeon very well, not just sights and sounds but scents and what it felt like. You did a great job until you got angry." The bell rang, cutting Shiny off. He lifted the O&O books with his magic. "Okay, class is over for now. We'll play again, and next time maybe we can work together a little better?"

As the students left, talking excitedly about what they'd done and what they wanted to be next time, Shiny finally relaxed. Good thing the kids enjoyed it in the end, he thought as he gathered the books up. I'd hate to have to tell Sis and Princess Celestia that another Yak-Dragon War started because Smolder dropped an invisible stone wall in front of Yona just as she went berserk and tried chopping a dragon's head off!

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 78.0 Alex Warlorn
Session 78.1 Ardashir
Session 78.2 Grogar-The-Oneser
Session 78.3 Ardashir Grogar-The-Oneser Alex Warlorn
Session 78.4 Grogar-The-Oneser
Session 78.5 Alex Warlorn
Session 78.6 Grogar-The-Oneser
Session 78.7 Alex Warlorn
Session 78.8 Alex Warlorn
Session 78.9 Alex Warlorn
Session 78.10 Alex Warlorn (Spoilers for Fake It Til You Make It)
Session 78.11 Ardashir
Session 78.12 Grogar-the-onser
Session 78.13 Richforce
Session 78.14 Ardashir
Session 78.15 Grogar-the-onser
Session 78.16 Grogar-the-onser
Session 78.17 Kendell2
Session 78.18 Mtangalion
Session 78.19 Alex Warlorn
Session 78.20 Sonicandmario826 Grogar-the-onser Alex Warlorn
Session 78.21 Ardashir
Session 78.22 Alex Warlorn
Session 78.23 Alex Warlorn
Session 78.24 Kendell2
Session 78.25 Grogar-the-onser/Alex Warlorn
Session 78.26 Grogar-the-onser/Alex Warlorn
Session 78.27 Mtangalion
Session 78.28 Grogar-the-onser
Session 78.29 Ardashir

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Picture by harwicks-art used with permission.

https://harwicks-art.deviantart.com/art/Ponies-from-the-Land-of-the-Ice-and-Snow-730920536

Session 79

Session 79.0 Alex Warlorn

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were back in Sigil, they had technically not broken any laws, or at least any that would warrant them being mazed or flayed by the Lady of Pain... But being responsible for the self-destruction of a faction and disrupting the power balance tended to paint a target on your back. The CMC... they were still party members after all... watched their backs, mostly cause they wanted to see what utterly insane thing they'd do next.

Dinky had run a spelljammer campaign, since it was basically magical pirates in fantasy space, Pipsqueak had supported it instantly, and Silver Spoon had joined in... to call the setting 'weird' was beyond all definition. Though it was the updated setting so it was only the void of space separating different solar system spheres, rather than a magical storm of mist.

Silver Spoon brought her space pirate character with her with Diamond Tiara's aristocrat... Given this was Sigil, it was hardly an eyebrow raising sight seeing a swashbuckler type character walking the streets.

At the Smoldering Corpse Inn, the party paid coin for drinks and to listen to rumors and hearsay.

"I tell ya, the dark of the Illithid and beholder is that they come from the Far Realm! Curse them stupid elves for ever finding it, stupid elves, why are they even allowed to continue to exist?" Said a local Cutter.

Silver Spoon had her character interrupt in dramatic fashion, "And I tell ya all, that all hogwash! The Ilithid, the beholders, they all come from stars beyond yer worlds! Not some goosy, slimely, 'far realm' ruled by evil hands in fancy robes!"

"Wha... how would a primer like you even KNOW something they don't even know the dark about, you're as Clueless as Clueless gets!"

"The prime material plane is as vast and wondrous as as the inner and outer planes... "

"Bah! You haven't seen the scope of the planes, primer," Said the cutter.

"Ah! Ye all be groundlings then!" Silver Spoon said.

"What the Hells be a groundling?" The other locals clearly had never heard of the term either.

"HA! It be what ye all are! Those that have never traveled the ways between worlds! Who have not sailed the sea of stars! Who have not traveled through realm space!"

One thing led to another, and soon, Silver Spoon's character had been challenged to a duel. Silver Spoon, oddly promising she'd only use weapons from the prime material plane... the Cutter had laughed his head off... And had shown up wearing equipment that could block any physical or magical attack... and weapons that could pass through magical and mundane defenses... Silver Spoon didn't look worried.

The cutter had thrown a set of custom ghost-phase daggers at Silver Spoon's character.

"Personal force field." Silver Spoon's character touched a button on her leg, creating a barrier that deflected the weapons.

"WHAT?!" Twilight Sparkle exclaimed. "You said your character came from Spelljammers!"

"It did... and Dinky included Expedition at Barrier Peaks before expanding the campaign so we didn't have to reset our characters... and since that adventure showed that a civilization with such equipment HAD TO exist... it was just a matter of finding a colony willing to sell... Oh, and I take out my Positron Rifle and vaporize the jerk." Silver Spoon rolled her to hit and damage rolls... "Is that enough?"

"... He is... reduced to ash except for his now smoking boots..." Twilight said strangely mechanically... The CMC began hastily collecting their precious character sheets and silently repenting all the damage their cutie mark quests had inflicted over the year.

Captain Silver Spoon said, "For a city you groundlings claim to be the heart of everything, you sure are behind the times compared to some other worlds out there." Then she said dramatically to the gasping and shocked crowd who had gathered to see the arrogant little primer finally get what was coming to her.

"I've commanded spelljammer ships against Beholder Queen ships and Grell Hive vessels, I've ridden on giant space hamsters, I've fought alongside Giff platoons... And you lot think you understand how creation works better because some of you have visited places we go to anyway when we die?"

A minute later, Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara ran out of the crystal friendship castle like Tirek himself was after them (if only they'd be so lucky). The CMC scurried out a minute later in different directions (she couldn't chase after all of them). Flames licked the sides of the doors.

"I don't think Princess Twilight is gonna let us back into Sigil after that..." Silver Spoon said.

"There's still the World Serpent Inn for traveling across planes of existence, lot friendlier management too," Diamond Tiara remarked.

"You don't think Princess Twilight was REALLLY gonna summon the Lady of Pain from the game right?"

"... If we get mazed, at least we we'll know Twilight Sparkle will remember us for eternity..."

"Wanna go see what over powered abomination of a player character we can make with all those splatbooks that your dad bought you?"

"Sounds like fun!"

++++

"Hey Twiley!" Shining Armor said happily. "I heard that one of your players likes Spelljammer! I thought only I remembered that setting! Maybe I could... uh, did Spike get the hiccups or something?" Shining Armor said, seeing the insides of the room looking blackened in spots like a Alicorn with a mane of flames had been in there.

"... It's nothing BBBFF... it's nothing..." Twilight moaned.

Trixie meanwhile said in her wagon, "Trixie has this strange feeling that her reign as Equestria's most effective campaign setting wrecker has been usurped... No. Can't be."

Session 79.1 Alex Warlorn

"Silver Spoon?"

"Yes Diamond Tiara?" Silver answered, in Diamond Tiara's lavish bedroom.

"Weren't you playing a lore master when we first went to Sigil?"

"Yes I was... but you didn't hear Princess Twilight complain when I switch out that character that ruined one of the factions for my Spelljammer characters now did you?"

"Ah, good point!"

Session 79.2 Alex Warlorn

Wallflower Blush's Adventures Role Playing With The Memory Stone

Name of Dungeon Master And Players Has Been Removed To Protect The Guilty

Wallflower said, "I take the left passage."

The Dungeon Master said, "A demon appears."

"But we're only level three."

"Bad dice roll."

ZAP!

"I take the right passage."

"A demon appears."

Later

"An endless horde of goblins burst through the back door, you're hopelessly overwhelmed."

ZAP!

"To be on the safe side we block the back door!"

"An endless horde of goblins burst through the front door, you're hopelessly overwhelmed."

ZAP!

"To be on the safe side we block the back and front door!"

"An endless horde of goblins burst through the front windows, you're hopelessly overwhelmed."

"This place had windows big enough for a horde to get through?"

"Of course it did."

ZAP!

"We block the front door, the back door, and the windows."

"As you're busy blocking all the tiny windows in the lonely inn, goblins explode out of the hidden trap door in the floor, and hopelessly overwhelm you."

ZAP!

"We search for secret passages in the floor!"

"No need to check your roll results, there are no secret passages in the floor."

POW!

"OW! She punched me... gee time flies when you play this game. Well, she'll never find a fair and balanced DM like me."

Session 79.3 Alex Warlorn

"I"m happy that 'lost memory' thing was all just a bad dream," Sunset Shimmer said.

Sunset was rolling nothing but 20s as she rampaged through Sci-Twi's Magical War Mecha campaign.

"So am I," Pinkie Pie said. "Oh and you're in your underwear, and you're taking a test you didn't have a chance to study for?"

"AHHHHHH!" Sunset woke up. "Dangit, for once I wish that was real."

Session 79.4 SomeRandomMinion

The giant blue Diamond Dog produced a pickaxe and slashed at the skyscraper, knocking terrified ponies from windows and making the entire building shake. Glass shattered on several floors, revealing...a bottle of asprin, on the top floor.

Button Mash cheered. "Yes! Health pickup!" He made his canine giant stomp the attacking soldiers, then leap onto the building, ignoring the peppering of spells and bullets 'Ralphie the Mega-Dog' was catching. He climbed for the top, ignoring the tasty treats--namely, terrified ponies--along the way.

"Almost there...health's low, but not for long! Then it's rampage time!"

A zeppelin floated onscreen, and Button's eyes widened. "Nonononono--!"

A volley of rockets slammed into Ralphie, chopping his health down and knocking him off his perch. The fall took out the last sliver of health, and he shrank down to normal size after hitting the ground. 'GAME OVER' danced across the screen as the former giant monster was chased away by outraged soliders.

"Dang it, that zeppilen always gets me..." Button fumed. He'd just used up his last bits, so no continues. "How're you doing, Sweetie Belle?"

The filly's game of 'Monster Bash' was going better. Her zebra-striped dragoness was making quick work (and lunch) of any attackers...including the troublesome zeppelin, with a well-placed fireball.
"Ha! That'll teach you to mess with Zillie, dumb blimp!" A quick tail-slap took down a building and knocked away a tank.

"Woah, you're really goin' at it!" Button said, watching the chaos onscreen. "How'd you get this far without low health?"

"Eating the soldiers, duh," Sweetie answered without looking away from the game. "It's kinda scary, but it gets your health back. And sometimes Zillie looks at her stomach when she does it, like all the soldiers she's eating are making her fat. It's actually pretty funny...ha! There she goes again!"

The dragoness gulped down a poor guardspony, then frowned as she measured her belly. After a shrug, she went back to rampaging. "Heh, did you know this game was devleloped by Giants? I heard Miss Supia and Mister Seismos came up with the idea--get us 'tinies' more comfortable with giants, play the rampaging for a joke or something." With a quick combo, Sweetie made her dragoness leap into the air and belly-flop onto a smaller building, flattening it instantly; Button cheered her on.

"Almost done, Sweetie! But watch out, the boss of this level is a doozy: some crazy giant robot gorilla!"

Sweetie smirked. "Pfft, I can take him. I'm Queen of Manehatten, remember?" She giggled at the memory of the board game she'd dominated.

Button rolled his eyes. "Yeah, Your Majesty. I remember. Huh, I wonder who'd win in a fight, the monsters from here, or Manehatten?"

Sweetie reached the boss, and looked ready to fight a giant monster in real life. "Depends on if we were playing them, I think."

Discord watched the foals' game through binoculars...which were really just his own eyes stretched out.
"Soon, kids. Soon. I always find a way..."

(OOC: Just a little Rampage thing. ;))

Session 79.5 Ardashir

"So, Starlight," Trixie said as she dealt herself another card, "what did that crazy mare Tempest say happened to her and Grubber again? I thought she was off trying to prove to the Storm King's former conquests that he really was gone." She smiled to see three aces in her hooves. "I was surprised to see her and Grubber show up at the front door looking so bedraggled."

"So was I," Starlight frowned at her own cards. "She said that they stumbled across some sort of world gate like the one Twilight and I both used before..."

"Wait, she became human? What happened to Grubber?" Trixie set her cards down and leaned forward, avid. This she had to hear.

"Well, first of all, she says they didn't get transformed. But they did find themselves and the balloon floating over some sort of parade, and they saw ponies being yelled at by some human in a green uniform on this big float, so she decided to help. And it all just snowballed from there..."

***

"And that, your honor. is when this lunatic zapped me with some sort of electric death ray mounted in her forehead and knocked me head over helmet!" The tall and spare human in the green uniform (a Marine Corp DI, all unknown to Tempest and Grubber) pointed his finger at Tempest, who stood beside the defense attorney's table with Grubber. He hid behind her and looked around fearfully. "I was mindin' my own business playing that Duke character and she attacked me. If this'd happened in the Marines, I could at least have grabbed a bayonet or something and defended myself."

"Well, at least the kids didn't have to see Gi Joe versus the Killer Pony," the judge said. He looked to the young blonde human woman beside Tempest. "Miss Sullivan, what does your client have to say?"

"She says she was, ahem," she looked at the papers she held, "'defending her friends from being brutalized by that nasty loudmouth'." She looked up from the papers, "I will remind your honor that it was a float in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade from the Hasbro company, showing off their two biggest franchises, 'G.I. Joe' and 'My Little Pony'..."

"Hey, they didn't even tell us there was gonna be a new character in the show!" One of several men dressed in half-burned pony costumes. "Then when I jump up and yell at Ermey, "Good for you, jackass!' She turned around and blasted us!"

Tempest wheeled on them and they cringed.

"Yelling names like that in public?" Tempest snorted and more lightning played along her broken horn. "You're a disgrace to that cutie mark!"

As the judge tried to bring everything under back control in the riotous courtroom, Grubber looked up at the gigantic and bald bailiff beside him.

"I get the idea we're kinda weird for this place."

"Not really," the genial giant responded. "You want weird, you should see this place on Saturday night."

***

"Tempest says they were about to be jailed for sixty days when the gate magic caught up to them and they were back in Equestria, just a mile from here... Hah!" Trixie slapped her cards down. "See that? Trixie has a winning hoof, five aces --"

"Five aces?!?" Both mares said simultaneously. "How did that happen?"

"Oh, how do you think?" Trixie and Starlight facehoofed as the fifth ace turned back into Discord. He stretched in midair like a rubber band before snapping back into his usual shape. "Do I even need to say I'm the reason for Little Miss Nasty's unexpected trip, too?"

"For pity's sake, why?" Starlight asked while Trixie got the cards back together. "If I and everyone else forgave her..."

"That doesn't mean I did," Discord sniffed. He made a small black crystal statue of himself appear, shuddered and let it vanish. He snapped his claws and a small radio appeared. "Besides, I wanted to give something to my pal Art."

Trixie blinked. "Your pal 'Art'?"

Discord simply turned the radio on. An exasperated sounding voice began speaking. "For the last time, no more people asking me about talking miniature horses that shoot lightning bolts from their foreheads! Coast to Coast AM deals with serious things like UFOs! And I never, ever, want to hear about that gray alien weirdo Discord ever again!"

Discord snapped his fingers and a silvery disc being piloted by a hairy apeman flew around his head before vanishing. "Oh, what would he do without me?"

(OOC: Done in honor of R. Lee Ermey, Harry 'Judge Harold T. Stone' Anderson, and Art Bell. I'll miss all three.)

Session 79.6 Grogar-the-onser

"Again with the leaving!" Grubber said.

"Calm down we still need to supply so it will take at least a month." Tempest said annoyed "It, not my fault people are still paying tributes to an ex-tyrant."

"But-"

"And need i remind you how I learn that little tidbit," Tempest said annoyed.

"Money money money." Grubber said happily as he got mails full of gold "Now I can buy really expensive arcade games and make my room look cool, who knew that so many people believe that Storm King is still alive haha!... Why do I have a feeling I just stupidly blabbed."

He turn to see Tempest with an annoyed look on her face. "ah nuts."

Session 79.7 Jarkes, Grogar-the-Oneser

Sunset, still dealing with her friends suddenly forgetting that she's changed, suddenly found a note in her locker. "'Some weird memory-erasing stone," she read. "'That might be the cause of your current problems. Signed, Deep Star.'"

"Memory-erasing stone?" Sunset pondered to herself. "Sounds like Equestrian magic... Who's this 'Deep Star' though?"

"I thought you said you were just going to wait and see how things played out," Sunburst asked his friend.

"Honestly, it was too depressing seeing Sunset dealing with all that stuff. Figured I'd give her a little push in the right direction," Starlight replied.

"Okay... So why didn't you tell her who you were in the note?" Sunburst asked.

"Because the informant NEVER gives away her identity," Starlight replied, smiling.

"...Of course," Sunburst said dryly.

(OOC: Since I had the Memory Stone's effects ultimately not work on Human Starlight, I figured she could help things along, but without just skipping ahead to the aftermath).

"HEY!" Both turn to see Vice Principal Luna "Your not from this school are you."

"Err..."

"And let me guess, your part of some weird stuff." Luna said annoyed.

"Err..."

"Well screw you, this school already suffering weird stuff without you added weirdness! I am making a citizen arrest!" Luna shouted.

"...Oh please, like were afraid of some person who couldn't even make principal." Starlight scoffed

"WHY DID YOU PROVOKE HER!" Sunburst yelled as he and Starlight were running for their life as Luna chased them with baseball bats in both hands.

Session 79.8 Ardashir

"Oh, hello, Rarity and -- Rarity?!?" Twilight blinked to see two of the fashion mare standing before her.

"Hello, Twilight, darling!" The two mares said in creepily perfect unison. They smiled and winked. "Try and guess which of us is the real Rarity."

"It's neither of you. I just saw Rarity at her boutique!" Twilight groaned and flung a foreleg over her eyes. "Not this again! Alisa! We talked about this!" Her horn glowed as she cast a spell to detect true forms. The images of Rarity turned translucent, one revealing Alisa's familiar furry form.

"That spell is cheating!" She growled, pinning her ears back. The Diamond Wolf stood up and folded her forelegs. Bristling, she added, "Alisa wants to be knowing why Princess Twilight makes such a nasty spell." She yanked the suit off and dropped back on all fours as Twilight scowled at her.

"I made that 'nasty spell' for just such situations! We don't need any more troublemaking shapeshifters in Ponyville..." Her words stopped dead as she looked at the second 'Rarity'.

"Uh, hi, Twilight," Spike said from inside a Rarity-suit -- no. Not a suit. Twilight stepped closer, casting more divinations as he spoke. "Uh, well Thorax got this idea for how the Changeling hive can make a few bits with this new amulet they came up with." He held up a worked gold amulet in the form of a Changeling stylized face.

"Spike!" Spike/Rarity winced as Twilight yanked the amulet away from him. To her shock, his form didn't change back to a dragon. He stayed a unicorn. She blinked and looked more closely at the amulet in her horn's grip. "Wait, this thing does instantaneous shapeshifting magic? I thought Celestia had the only one, and after that filly stole it from her on her recent visit to Ponyville that she got rid of it."

"That one was made by Chrysalis a long time ago," Spike said, sounding like Rarity. The little dragon's speech patterns and Rarity's melodious voice made for an odd combination. "Thorax and the other Changelings found her old notes and learned how to make a few more. He let me try this one out to see if it worked on non-ponies." Spike walked to a nearby mirror on his hind legs and smiled at the results. "I guess it works pretty well. But I need the amulet back to turn back to my real form."

"Here, Romeo," Twilight held it out to him. "I think one Rarity is enough for Equestria." She was about to say more when a red-and-yellow streak raced into the room. Spike jumped back and yelled as it charged right for Twilight. Twi herself just blinked in shock. "Sunset! What are you doing --"

"Twilight!" Sunset grabbed her by the withers. She looked half crazed, her eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep and smelling rank from a lack of bathing. Her mane a mess, she pleaded, "Tell me you know who I am! That we're friends! That..." She looked to the side and froze. Twilight's gaze followed her to see Alisa standing over an emptied-out Rarity suit, as well as a second Rarity standing on her hind legs.

"Uhh, hi Sunset," Spike said. Sunset's eyes grew wider as he tapped his Rarity-form on the chest with one forehoof. "This isn't what it looks like." Beside him, Alisa sniffed, gathered up her pony-suit, and left the room, nose held high.

"Never mind, I'll explain later," Twilight embraced Sunset. She wrinkled up her nose at the reek. "What's happened to you? You sound like you've lost your mind!"

"Memory Stone! Took everyone's memories of me! They all still think I'm a bully and a creep!" Sunset half babbled as she dragged Twilight along towards the door. "I have to check out the old royal library and get some answers before something worse happens. Please, Twilight, help me!" Still racing through her explanation, Sunset and Twilight left the room.

"Twilight! Hey, Twi! Rats!" Spike huffed, hooves on hips, as the two mares vanished in the distance. "Great, now what do I do until she gets back? I have a game with the guys. Nothing else better happen."

"RARITY!" Spike gulped as he turned to see a raggedy-looking Suri standing at the door. She bore a pair of fencing sabers sheathed over her back. She stomped forward, a crazed look in her eyes. "Nopony will hire me because I backstabbed, I mean, was inspired by a 'hero of Equestria'! I've starved from one end of Equestria to the next! I've had enough! I'll slice you to ribbons and then I'll be a big name again, m'kay!" She leaned in to stare eyeball to eyeball with the transformed dragon. "What do you say to that?"

Spike just gulped. "Why doesn't stuff like this ever happen to Shining Armor?"

Session 79.9 Alex Warlorn

"I'm sorry Auntie, but Elements of Harmony must be destroyed, they are simply too powerful to have around. Then we must burn all of Starswirl's book, for they too are obviously too powerful to be allowed to exist." Cadence said as she, Shining Armor, Twilight Sparkle, Starlight Glimmer, and Flurry Heart all forced their way past her.

"You showed us the way Princess, thank you for that valuable lesson." Twilight Sparkle said with a smile. "If something can be misused, it must be obliterated, that is the wisdom you have shown me."

"No! You can't do this! It is madness! Giving the Elements back to the Tree of Harmony to heal it is one thing, but this is insanity! The Elements have PROTECTED Equestria!"

"Yes, and Accord was able to corrupt their purpose, what if that happens again? We can't risk it." Starlight said.

Celestia shouted, "Just because something CAN be abused doesn't mean it has no right to exist! ANYTHING can be misused! It is the user who decides whether it is good or bad!"

"Took you long enough sister," Cadence changed into Princess Luna, and the world around them ground to a halt.

"Really Lulu?" Celestia asked.

"Yes Celly, really. And you are going to write in dream time: 'destroying artifacts is not a solution' one thousand times!" The Elements chamber changed into a school room with an infinitely long blackboard.

"It had dark magic!"

"And just what is WRONG with darkness?" The Princess of the Night asked sternly.

Celestia sighed, picked up the dream chalk, and began to write the message on the black board.

Session 79.10 Alex Warlorn

"Princess Celestia, Queen Chrysalis of the ahem, True Changeling Swarm, has sent you a bill of one million bits, for the destruction of personal property, a royal heirloom, and the destruction of a cultural treasure." Raven informed Princess Celestia. "Oh, and King Thorax is asking WHY you didn't return a precious cultural heirloom to the changelings, or inform them you had it."

"Alright Lulu, you can end the dream now... Lulu?"

"Sorry sister, this isn't a dream."

"Oh," Raven added, "And the Tabloids are running wild with 'Princess Celestia Spies On Subjects."

"I need coffee."

Session 79.10 Zaku789

"To King Thorax, that old relic was a gift from before Chrysalis came to be queen so technically it was not stolen. To Chrysalis, just cause your mother gave me a gift in a attempted peace offering after your first invasion, does not give you any right for me to pay for it. Don't believe me, ask her yourself," Celestia said.

"And the tabloid?"

"I'm not going to bother with the tabloids, I'm dealing with the source that provided the tabloids."

"Which is....?" Both Raven and Luna questioned.

"AHHHHHH!!!" Garble yelled as Celestia chased after him.

Session 79.11 Mtangalion

“What?!” Princess Twilight was so caught off guard that she nearly spilled her coffee, all over her lesson plans no less. “What do you mean, you won’t be able to teach all of this week’s classes?”

Twilight’s closest friends glanced at each other awkwardly. Rarity cleared her throat. “Twilight… you know that we were eager to support you in establishing the new Friendship Gaming Academy, and while it’s true that as the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony, each of has unique lessons in friendship to share… How can I put this?”

“What did ya expect?” asked Applejack. “Ah *have* a day job. All of us do.”

“Except for you,” said Rainbow Dash, lounging in midair. “I mean, no offense, but it’s not like princessing has been some huge drag on your time. Not like, say, training to perform in Wonderbolts shows all over Equestria!”

“Hey! I’ve had plenty of things to do,” said Twilight. “Teaching Starlight, getting almost caught up with my reading list, defeating the Sirens… again… But you have a point. Who else can we get to teach, though...”

Button’s mom put her hoof down. “Button Mash! You are not dropping out of grade school to become a professor of game-ology.”

Button grinned slyly. “You know, I could trade in a Discord favor and become an adult right now.”

His mom grinned right back, ominously. “That’s fine, dear... If you want to be the only grown stallion who still has to attend Miss Cheerilee’s class.”

Discord coughed into a fist. “Sooo! Do you want that favor, or…”

“No!” yelped Button. “I mean, on second thought, I’ve reconsidered!” He leaned towards Discord and whispered, “I guess my mom is even scarier than you are.”

Discord tisked. “I’d be offended by that remark, but this is your mother we’re talking about.”

Session 79.12 Alex Warlorn

It was another awesome day in Ponyville. Rainbow Dash had finished another session of the awesome new RPG, where she got to behead Zeus and the entire greek pantheon in a chain sword slash attack, and wear their heads as a trophy around her character's belt. Then she blew up space fleets with their six shooters for target practice. And she fought to the bottom level of Tartarus single hoofedly with all eleven power rings (include Inferred and Ultraviolet) and then blew the whole place up with her pet Mecha Dracozilla.

Then in a flash of red light, they appeared. Humanoid suits of black armor covered in spikes, the only thing visible was the glowing red eyes within.

"LEET!" One shouted thrusting his fist up.

"LEET!" The other all shouted in middle class Isle of Pony accents.

Then they began smashing everything in sight. And so began the systematic slaughter of Ponyville. Ponies ran for their lives, but they couldn't run fast enough.

Starlight began fighting one of the monsters, actually pushing it back... then she was cut in half by another of the armors behind her.

"KILL STEAL!" Shouted the first armored figure.

"NOOB! HAHA!"

"Don't worry everypony! As long as we're together we'll pull through eventually!" Princess Twilight Sparkle declared.

A black spiked armored warrior as big as a mountain appeared, and unceremoniously, his red laser vision filled the skies, atomizing all five of Equestria's Alicorns in a moment. Then teleported away again.

"WOW!" said one of the black spiked armored warriors. "It's been hundreds of thousands of years since I've seen the Supreme Dark Commander actually have to take to the battlefield! That was awesome!"

"Do you think if we're lucky in our eyes he'll glance?!"

Soon Equestria was reduced to rubble, and the warriors celebrated.

Which included ... leaping into space, and knocking planets towards the surface, which were then head butted into asteroids.

Arm wresting that cracked the continent in two.

Drinking ale that ate through the planet's mantle when spilled.

And... one dark armored warrior sat on a stole in front of his comrades singing and doing a lute version of 'We All Have Feelings' as the dark armored knights watch in rapt attention, wiping tears from their eyes.

"Hey Gary we missed some!" Waved one of the armored spiked warriors, the pointing at Rainbow Dash.

"No way! Totally cool! I was sure they were extinct!"

Rainbow Dash began wailing on them... they didn't even feeling it.

"Man, this blows, this doesn't feel right at all, I mean, they don't seem to have a power up form, maybe we should just let'em go for a few hundred years, and come back seeking vengeance, ya know? This is just embarrassing."

"HOW'S THIS FOR POWERED UP FORM YOU MONSTERS?!"

Then Rainbow Dash powered up to her Rainbow Power form, and actually knocked Gary over, denting his helmet.

"I take it back, this totally rocks! This is gonna be awesome-possum!" Then Gary powered up with a bright violet aura shining out from him that makes the stars weep. Then Gary struck some poses. "Oh yeah! This is so totally gonna be cool!" The armored warrior blasted Rainbow Dash with TWO fingers (which showed how much they were willing to honor Rainbow Dash by taking her seriously)... her atoms were scattered to the edge of the universe.

Rainbow Dash woke up from her dream with a start... looked at the power fantasy RPG on her desk... and tossed it in the garbage.

++++

"So ye wish us to give dreams to these ponies playing this absurd power fantasy game a taste of what it is like to be on the receiving end of such power fantasies?" Luna raised an eyebrow.

"Yes," Shining Armor said, "Remember you owe me for putting me through that dream of being on that post alien invasion Equestria based on one of my table top games."

Luna remembered she had explained to Cadence that that had been to help groom Shining Armor into possibly ascending (even if Destiny had declared Cadence was doomed to outlive her husband, while Twilight Sparkle would not outlive her friends (hopefully that meant they would ascend as well, not that Twilight Sparkle's Alicorn life would be cut extremely short by Alicorn standards).

"Very well Shining Armor."

Session 79.13 Grogar-the-onser

the event of grannie gone wild happen (In this timeline twilight didn't know)

"Have to do training at the wonderbolts..." Twilight growled at Rainbow Dash.

"Now twilight I can explain!" Rainbow dash said.

"You went on a rollercoaster!"

"Yeah but that only do to traditions and what not!" Rainbow dash said.

"You guilt-tripped me by mentioning jobs!" Twilight said.

"I didn't even know the roller-coaster tradition! And before you say 'Do you expect me to believe you of all people don't know every fact about wonderbolt'. Need I remind you I didn't know about the nickname thing either.

"That is true... but Aj why did you accept Rainbow Dash offer!"

"Just cause all y'all can't multi-task doesn't mean I can't." AJ shrugged "Plus Big Mac does the orchard and Applebloom handle the farm duties till I get back from the school, so I don't have it bad as Rarity and Fluttershy."

“Ah *have* a day job. All of us do.” Twilight sarcastically snapped.

"For clarification, Ah just meant that you should have realized most of her friends have busy schedules." Applejack said calmly.

Session 79.14 Alex Warlorn

"THERE'S A SECRET HIDDEN FORBIDDEN SECTION OF THE LIBRARY!?"

"SHHHHHHHH!!!!" Princess Luna said, "Tis 'secret' remember?"

"And that's why we installed the new security system," Princess Celestia said.

"What new security system?" Sunset asked.

"WHO IS READY TO DANCE?!" Shouted the illusionary pony.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me..."

Session 79.15 Alex Warlorn

"I hope they're adding cities in the next update of No Pony's Sky!" Eight Bit said, away from his family and enjoying time with his buddies.

"Actually, I'm not sure that fits the lore," Gizmo said. "The Sentries are programmed to destroy any being who alters the state of the planet they're on. I always figured that was WHY there were no big cities and only small installations and buildings. And that civilization had had to move to space stations and the like just to prosper."

"So like Sapphire Gender, but without everyone going crazy and shooting each other at the end?" Gaffer asked.

"I guess so, pretty much."

"Why did you even WATCH that show?" Shining Armor asked. "Not only was it misequinethropic as Tartarus, but those mecha designs were insane! I mean, a mecha designed for hand to hand combat with the cockpit exposed?!"

"I liked it for the average dude thrown into a truly bonkers situation ... Here's hoping that finally add in real multiplayer."

Gizmo asked, "Why? So you can get shot in the back, have them loot your corpse, and kick you face down into a ditch marooned on an alien planet with no help for light years around? Or you come to a planet and find it's ALREADY been mined out of everything you needed?"

"Stop ruining my unreasonable expectations that the hype machine put in my head to begin with!"

Session 79.16 Mtangalion

Princess Twilight flew among the shelves of her castle library, using her magic to grab the contents of entire shelves and spread them for easy browsing. “It’s kind of nice to be a librarian again, even if it’s just for a little while. Aha!” She selected a particular comic book and flew it down to the front desk, where Gerold waited side by side with Gilda.

Gerold read the enchanted comic’s cover, poking it with a claw suspiciously. “The Legend of Cadence: True Love in Peril? I dunno... sounds sappy!”

“It’s supposed to be a great RPG, and a romantic adventure for couples too,” said Twilight brightly.

Gilda smirked. “Really, Sparkle? Besides one or two dates with that Flash character, what do you know about couples and romance? ‘I read it in a book’ doesn’t count.”

Twilight pouted. “Well, excuuuse me! It’s hard to gather data when couples in love go somewhere else before I can take any research notes. Besides, this comic has some really good reviews, and my brother said it’s one of his personal favorites.”

Gerold looked to Gilda, shrugging. “I guess it can’t hurt to give it a try.” He grinned. “Whatever it is, I’m sure I’ll get the highest score!”

Gilda leaned close, jabbing his chest fluff. “Oh, is that so?” Gerold wrapped a wing around her, and she nuzzled him, cooing softly.

Twilight’s face lit up. Ever so quietly, she levitated a parchment and quill out from behind her desk, then looked up to see both griffons giving her withering stares. “Um… why don’t I just show you to the enchanted comic reading room!”

Gilda groaned and stumbled to her feet, shaking off the disorientation of entering the enchanted comic world. “What’s this? Some kind of throne room?” She glanced sharply left and right, already annoyed that Gerold was nowhere in sight. And worse… “Why the squawk am I wearing a dress?!”

“Such insolence!” bellowed the muscular unicorn stallion on the throne. He had a toad-green coat and a bright red beard, and he wore ornate armor with a cape. “Show some respect to your new ruler, Gamble Dwarf!” He paused for a moment of dramatic maniacal laughter. “Soon, my minions will find and destroy Sir Gerold, and then, Princess Grizelda, you and I will be wed!” A claw tapped him on the shoulder. “Eh?”

Gilda decked the would-be tyrant and started wailing on him with her claws.  

A short while later, Gilda was locked in the castle tower, poking a bump on her head and wincing. “Ugh, that is so lame when bosses yell ‘Enough!’ and suddenly you’re stunned and can’t do anything. Bucking lazy writers! I totally could have beat Gamble Dork, too!” She cackled and rubbed her claws together. “Oh well, time to start escaping.”

Then a tiny glowing flutterpony popped out of nowhere, leaving trails of sparkly glitter as she flew in loops around Gilda's richly appointed prison. “Hey, look! Listen!”

Gilda frowned. “I don’t know why, but I hate you already. Well, go on, spill the plot so I can get on with it.”

“I’m afraid it won’t be so easy to escape, princess!” said the flutterpony, wringing her little hooves. “Sir Gerold is doing his best to gather all the Triangles of Power so he can rescue you, but he’s going to need your help!” It flew away, looping around a table with a crystal ball. “With this, you can encourage him and give him clues and hints to solve the many perilous dungeons of… Oh my! Princess Grizelda, what are you doing?!”

Gilda swept a golden candlestick and some silverware into a bag, then smashed a clay pot looking for loose change. “Looting the place before I break out, duh! I can’t perch around here waiting to get rescued! What if Gerold thinks I’ve turned into some weak lazy loser, and decides to break up with me?” She clenched a fist, eyes blazing. “I won’t let that happen!”

“But, the dungeons!” wailed the flutterpony. “Without your hints, how will Sir Gerold…” She got buried under Gilda’s dress, which the griffon had just torn off and tossed away.

Gilda laughed. “If he’s the right griff for me, he’ll do fine. We’ll just see who gets more of those magical Triangles first!” She hurled the crystal ball out of the tower, smashing the window, and flew off to adventure.

Session 79.17 Grogar-the-onser

(Set at the end of Surf and or turf.)

"Trixie is impressed by your cruelty and usurping twilight at her games," Trixie said to Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.

"Okay..." Diamond Tiara stated, Before she could ask why Trixie invited them to Sugarcube Corner, Trixie facial expression turn serious as she stated.

"But Trixie should warn you, Twilight will erupt soon."

"Err... what?" Silver Spoon asked confused.

"She get's so stressed out from being oubliette master, she literally goes all out, making it living heck for the players. Trixie says this cause she experiences one of these eruptions. So unless she finds a new way to get rid of her stress. I suggest you go easy on her in the next game." Trixie said with a shiver, wondering how high in the stress meter Twilight Sparkle was in now.

"Wow that was amazing, one loud screech and it felt like all my stress was gone." Twilight told the crusader as she held onto her trophy while they were riding the train back home.

"... Wait you won that screeching contest thing the hippogriff were talking about, by feeling stressed out?" Scootaloo questioned.

"Pretty much." Twilight said with a shrug.

In Canterlot

"Luna is something wrong?"

"I sense somepony may just have beaten my screaching record."

Session 79.18 Ardashir

"I want you to show me precisely where you found -- that."

Twilight stormed her way down the hallway of the Friendship Palace. Smolder, Gallus, and Ocellus floated behind her, held in her magic grip. Together with them floated their character sheets for the new O&O game, and together with them floated 'that'. A garish magazine displaying a suspiciously familiar looking nightmare with a purple and black coat leering down on hapless ponies under the title Witch-Queen of Le-Mare-ia.

The three students looked at each other haplessly.

"I told ya we were gonna get in trouble," Gallus said. He pointed a talon at Smolder. "Didn't ya remember seeing her buy all those magazines from the Ponyville newsstand and incinerating them with her magic? Yeesh, why did ya have ta ask if we were gonna get ta fight the Diamond Dero Dogs and their tell-whatever rays?"

"Telaug rays," Ocellus corrected him. "That they use to make everyone on the surface into a jerk." Gallus waved his claw in a 'whatever' gesture as she shuddered. "I think I know why Miss Twilight doesn't like them. They kind of remind me of the bad old days with Queen Chrysalis."

"Next time I'm telling Spike he can keep his lousy magazines, no matter how much he brags about them," Smolder folded her arms across her chest. She grinned. "Still, it was a lot of fun to see the Dragon King of the Hollow Earth use the Cosmic Fire to get rid of the Witch-Queen."

"So it was Spike who gave them to you," the three shuddered at the cold fury in their formerly gentle teacher's voice as they entered the library. "I think I may need to speak with him. Spike! Politely and calmly, of course. SPIKE! Like two rational beings capable of calmly discussing why HE IS TRYING TO DESTROY THE MINDS OF MY STUDENTS! SPIIIIKE! GET YOUR SCALY TAIL OUT HERE!" The students shivered as her voice filled the room with echoes.

"Someone mention me?" Spike strolled through the door leading into the room. He noticed the magazine in Twilight's grip and raced over on his short legs to grab it. "Hey, that's where my copy got to! Thanks for giving it back, the newsstand pony sold out so fast and he said I'd have to order them myself from now on -- whoops." He looked up and saw little flickers of flame playing along Twilight's mane and tail as she glared at him. "Wow, look at the time! I have to dust the floors and mop the windows, bye!"

He made it halfway to the doors before Twilight's magic lifted him from the ground and dragged him back to hover before her. The air began to smell of ozone as magic crackled along her horn.

"Now, Twilight," he gulped. "You said I could buy them as long as I kept them out of sight." He shrank down as Twilight loomed over him.

"I found the students reading this and asking me to put 'Dero Dogs' into the game." Twilight said in a dangerously calm voice. "Is that what you call 'out of sight'? I --" As they spoke Twilight kept heading for the section of her library where she kept her Daring Do books. Suddenly she froze. Spike twisted around to see what it was and gasped.

At least half a dozen other issues of the pulp were sitting on the shelf beside her beloved books. More, they were laying atop them, soiling Daring Do by their mere presence.

All unnoticed, Spike slipped free of her grip along with the students. They hurried back out of the imminent blast radius as the horrified mare oh so gingerly pulled the pulps away from her books. Her mouth worked for several moments as she tried to find the words she needed.

"Who," she finally gasped out as she held the, the pulp by one corner like it was diseased. "Who would dare..."

"Oh, so you found them!" Trixie trotted up beside Twilight. Another pile of the pulps floated along with her, held in her magic grip, to be dropped down atop the Daring Do books. "They're my contributor's copies! The Brilliant and Published Trixie has been working on her stories for a while, but they have finally been shared with the world! She knew you would be delighted," Trixie went on grandly, not noticing the mounting fury in Twilight's face. "The editor, Bray Palmer, paid well too. He said he needed somepony to take up the slack since the usual authors Penny Dreadful and Dime Novel seemed to be running out of steam. Who knows? Maybe Trixie will replace those silly Daring Do novels on the shelves..."

"Silly?" Trixie stopped speaking as Twilight stepped towards her. Her coat glowed white-hot, and her mane and tail were ablaze with a unicorn rage shift sch as she only experienced once before. Her voice shocked with emotion as her flaming hooves left little molten pools in the floor. "Daring Do? Silly?"

Spike turned to the students and said just one thing. "Run."

Session 79.19 Alex Warlorn

In the most ruined of all ruined castles, the few changelings still loyal with Chrysalis were disappointed as a cross eyed pony left with that day's mail. (The castle was under the royal protection of the frost giants.)

"You gonna tell Her Majesty that her latest Penny Dreadful science fiction magazine is late?" Ask Locust.

"She's not gonna be happy that she's gonna have to delay her live reading," replied Caterpillar Plague.

"I don't understand why the rest of the hive never liked them."

"That's why Her Majesty made us her elite guard... and we were also her best shape shifters and infiltrators and hardened warriors!"

"Oh why! Oh why!" Locust stood proud and tall. "Why did our brothers and sisters have to abandon mother? Don't they understand the thrill of bullying creatures weaker than yourselves is more filling than any food?"

"How can they forget everything mother taught us? Buncha ingrates!"

There was another knock at the door, the two opened it, and didn't try to hide their disgust at the mutant rainbow serpent perversion that the majority of what had once been their people had become.

"Hello boys, remember me? I'm Sap Sucker, I'm here to win you over from Queen Chrysalis' tyranny, her control, and bad choice in books with the power of friendship!"

Locust and Caterpillar Plague looked at each other, and their perfectly fine blue compound eyes narrowed.

=

Sap Sucker went rolling home... in a giant dung beetle ball... rolling and rolling until he hit the front door of where he started, a sign around his neck reading, 'No Solicitors. Trespassers will be prosecuted.'

Also,

"LOOK OUT! They have their Telaug ray charged! READY ENERGY SHIELDS!" shouted Sap Sucker, crazy eyed, Queen Chrysalis having read one of her favorite issues to her wayward child from over to over.

Lightning Bug puffed out his chest, "Sap Sucker! I will avenge you!" And zoomed off.

=

"THE CENTER OF EQUUS IS HOLLOW! The Tower Heart awaits those who would brave it! But beware the shadow guardian and his claws that catch! Only the brave can climb the steel steps of Bat-Scale!" Rambled Lightning Bug, his eyes not seeing what was in front of him.

Another sign was around his neck,
"Children who have stabbed their mommy in the back are not welcome, unless they came crawling back begging for forgiveness shall mother accept them back into the true hive."

Potato Bug said, "This can not be allowed to continue! She needs to be taught a lesson here and now! Come on troops!"

-

"Never mind, this is the most fun we've had in months, keep sending them," said the sign around Potato Bug's neck.

-

"Children," Chrysalis said, "I've chosen to let go of the past, I've realized I need to make a fresh start, I need to accept that what is lost, cannot be regained. I've made some horrible mistakes in the past, and now it's time to make up for them."

Her heirs and loyalists looked at each other in confusion.

"I'm starting a new hive, this time, my babies will know you don't disobey and you don't question mommy, and that changelings who aren't part of the hive are bad news and that mommy always knows best!" She took out some dating magazines. "Now let's hurry up and find me a stud I can start laying eggs!"

"Why not just kidnap Shining Armor?" Asked Locust. "He's perfect stock. Have you see that demon spawn born from his loins? The new hive would be invincible."

"Don't you think I tried that first?" Chrysalis rolled her eyes. "Cadence changed all the combinations on the locks to her bedroom, it's like she doesn't trust me anymore."

Session 79.20 Grogar-the-onser

"AHHH!!!!!" Chrysalis screeched at the sight of all her pulp fiction were torn to shred. "WHO DID THIS!!!"

"What?" Caterpillar Plague said (He was hit with a sleep spell) said getting up from a huge pile of torn paper.

"YOU!!!" Chrysalis screeched as she blasted him through a wall. "GUARDS! PREPARE THE LEECH PIT!"

"What!" Caterpillar Plague shouted as two changelings grabbed him and dragged him away.

"Uggh. I just know this is going to mess up my dating mojo." Chrysalis groaned.

"Wow that's mean!" Pharynx whistled.

"Why did you think I stuck with Yellow Bellied. I use cowardly underhanded methods." Yellow Bellied "Sure it get's annoying they think i'm over-compensating, but let be honest, no one expect something dangeroues from a name like Yellow Bellied."

"True that."

Session 79.21 Ardashir and Mtangalion

Two mares who were obviously not Pinkie Pie or Rainbow Dash visited Manehattan to force their way into Bray Palmer's office and demanded: "Hey! We're Dime Novel and Penny Dreadful, what's the idea of letting someone else write our stories??"

"You've both been so busy lately..."

"Uh, yeah, we're kinda helping Twi, er, we mean the Princess of Friendship with teaching at her new school."

"And the fans were clamoring for new 'Hollow Earth and the Dero Dogs' stories. Besides, Dime Novel and Penny Dreadful are house names, we can put them on any story we like."

Not Pinkie said, "Maybe we'll take Queen Incendia and the Wrath of the Overdue Library Book Fees to another publisher!"

Bray Palmer said darkly, "Maybe I'll shrink you to teeny tiny size and keep you in this glass jar! ..." Then she smiled. "Hahaha, of course, nothing like that's going to happen. We're both just being silly."

Session 79.22 Alex Warlorn

The blood sucking leeches inched towards Caterpillar Plague.

Then began asking in voice similar to a certain pegasus stallion.

"Can I sleep on your couch?"

"Can I borrow some money?"

"Can I see what's in your fridge?"

"Hey mind if I buy this video off of Pony Flix?"

"AGH! They are truly leeches!" Shouted Caterpillar Plague covering his ears.

++++

'Hmmm.' Pinkie Pie thought having seen the scene with the students, Trixie, and Twilight. 'They want to have our monsters in their role playing huh? I gotta tell Dashie!'

++++

"And here in Manehatten ponies Dragon Town dragons have turned out in record numbers today as the table top role playing game conversion of Penny Dreadful and Dime Novel's action adventures," said the reporter pony, magically transmitting the news to those who could accord it.

In line, two unicorn mares bumped into each one, one with a pink mane and white coat and three suns cutie mark and blue eyes. The other had a dragonfly cutie mark, had a white coat as well, green eyes and a green mane. "OOF!" They gave out as both had been so busy looking to see if anypony was looking at them that they didn't watch where they were going.

"Oh! Sorry!" Said the pink one.

"Watch where you're going you-oh! Yes! Sorry fellow pony! I am Not-Evil Good-Pony!" Said the green one quickly.

"Oh! Yes! And I am, er, Not-Royal Common-Pony!" Answered the pink one.

"Er, niiice to meet you! What a beautiful day isn't it? For ponies, that we obviously are, and including me therefore, for us to be out and about!"

"Yes! Two ordinary ponies who are in no way royalty what so ever!" The two awkwardly grinned at each other.

Not-Royal spotted Twilight Sparkle in the sky, able to hear her grumble to herself, "No way am I allowing this tripe to appear at my table, I'm going to buy every copy and burn them like I do their stupid insult to books!

Not-Royal whistled innocently.

"ACK! The sun is in my eyes! Get away!" No matter what direction Twilight went, when she tried to approach the mass release, she found the sun painfully glaring in her eyes making it impossible to get close. "I'll just teleport!"

'Uh-oh.'

Not-Evil's horn glowed green, and when Twilight teleport, she teleported to the opposite side of the city, and repeatedly this several time. "They have a teleport ward up?! It's getting that you can't teleport anywhere anymore! I'll just call in the guards that were assigned to me and have them buy them on my credit instead!"

"Hold my place pony! - Who I like even though we've just met as is the pony way, and I am asking politely," Shouted, then asked nicely Not-Evil.

"Sure!" Said Not-Royal.

Not-Evil quickly ran into a nearby ally, and whispered into a crystal ball.

"Get Caterpillar Plague out of the leech pit, and follow my instructions exactly!"

A minutes or so later, Not-Evil came back to the line where Not-Royal had kept her place.

"I... what's the word again all us pony obviously know? 'Thu-ank' you!"

"You're welcome!" Not-Royal's satchel began to buzz. "Uh, hold my place."

"Consider it repaying a debt, I mean, of course fellow pony!"

Running to the same alley, with a voice and picture filter in place, Not-Royal got a emergency report.

++++

Twilight Sparkle was startled when a magical projection of Celestia appeared in front of her, her mouth moved all fuzzy.

"Twilight! Chrysalis' changelings have attacked Appleloosa! Only the royal guards under your command are close enough!"

"But I! Yes Celestia, I understand."

+++

"Oh Songbird! You came back to me!" The cowpony stallion cheered. "I knew when I saw you on the big screen you'd come back! Telling you your singing was awful and that you'd never make it in show business and that you should spend the rest of your life waiting on tables was just the motivation you needed right?"

"I can't believe it either." The 'mare' then shape shifted into Locust. "I think I'm actually doing ponykind a favor."

"Be-blab-ick-ta-oop!" The stallion babbled as the love was drained out of him and he fell on the ground twitching.

Locust got a beeping from the crystal ball. "Alright boys, mission accomplished, fall back!"

For some odd reason, the Royal Guards did not pursue. But they did decide that lounging, that is, guarding Appleloosa for a time was in order.

+++

Both obviously perfectly normal unicorn mares made their purchase.

"Nice to meet you Not-Evil Good-Pony!"

"And it was, not-bad, meeting you Not-Royal Common Pony! Have a happy day!"

The two mares split up and ran in opposite directions.

Session 79.23 Alex Warlorn

Sunset remarked to Twilight Sparkle, "I can't believe how hard it was for me to realize the test for getting through was a game of Prance Prance Revolution, I mean, it was so obvious."

"Which is why it makes perfect security for the Hidden Forbidden Library." Princess Celestia said as they stepped inside. "None can pass our inpendratable security."

And found Moon Dancer inside reading, looking like a foal with their hoof in the cookie jar.

"Ye walked into that one sister," Princess Luna said.

"Uh, this isn't the 'you can only enter if you know how to dance' section?" Moon Dancer said innocently.

Session 79.24 Mtangalion

In a cavern deep beneath Icehome, lit only by eerie purple glow gems, Blueblood the unicorn stallion stood within a runed magic circle, feeling oddly exposed without his jacket and tie. “Alisa... I’d like to thank you again for seeing me on such short notice.” He stamped his hooves, trying to keep warm. “After the Bearers all saw me transform, it seemed best to lay low for a time, and being that I was in the neighborhood…”

Alisa gave him a grin with just a hint of fangs, claws clicking lightly on the stone as she padded along just outside the circle. “It’s no trouble. Alisa’s been wanting Blueblood here in her clutches for some while, oh yes.” She lifted a paw and traced magical symbols in the air with the void-flame dancing on her claw tips. “That was joke.” The diamond wolf chuckled. “Mostly.”

Prince Blueblood shivered. “I never thought I’d say this, but could I please be a wolf again soon? I’m not certain you understand how terribly cold is it down here for ponies.”

“In moment,” barked Alisa. “First, show me pony magic.”

Blueblood shrugged… that seemed harmless enough, so he lit his horn, and the heavy stone that Alisa had placed in the circle with him floated into the air, surrounded by his icy-blue aura.

Alisa nodded to herself. “Now become wolf.” She glanced at him sharply. “Don’t break circle!”

Blueblood laughed. “You’re as fussy as my old magic tutor. Very well.” Putting the stone down, he backed into the center of the circle and willed himself to change. His whicker became a snarl as he grew larger, coat fluffing into thick fur, hooves reforming into paws and flat teeth becoming fangs. It was a little disturbing, how natural the wolf body felt now.

Alisa whistled softly, tail wagging. “Now use magic again.”

“Was that a wolf whistle?” quipped Blueblood, in a deeper growl. “Silly me, of course it was.” He had to actually focus and pay attention this time, but he got his claws glowing the same as his horn had, twirling the stone in the air. “So, all done? What’s the verdict?”

Alisa flicked her claws, extinguishing the magic circle. “Blueblood is pony like any pony, and wolf like any diamond wolf,” she said, seeming amused. “Except, wolf Blueblood has pony magical core, he’s casting spells other wolves can’t! Blueblood also having teensy tiny chaos spell on him. Too deep for Alisa to erase or change.”

Blueblood sat his hindquarters down heavily, giving a canine whine. “So you can’t tell me what Discord’s done at all?” His ears drooped. “Whether that blasted collar actually does anything, or if my foals will be like this… or if they’ll be pups instead of foals!?”

Alisa gave him a smug look. “Since when Koschei play fair when he could play tricks instead?”

“That fiend,” grumbled Blueblood. “That utter cad!” Blueblood padded out of the circle, stretching. “You know, is it just me…” He turned and smirked at her. “Or are you in a particularly good mood today?”

Alisa grinned right back. “Princess Twilight’s been big smarty pony, wrote her very own costume detecting spell. Easier for her to trust now. Wolves and ponies being better friends. Maybe wolf pups even go to gaming school.”

Blueblood narrowed his eyes, instantly suspicious. “That doesn’t sound like something you’d be pleased by. Not a tricky wolf like you. You’re already working on some countermeasure, aren’t you?”

Alisa kept wagging her tail.

“Unless…” Blueblood blinked. “Why, you’ve tricked her already, haven’t you? You made a flawed costume and got caught on purpose, so she’d think her spell works!” He barked with laughter. “Oh, that is just diabolical!” He had a sudden, more sober thought. “Why tip me off, though?”

“Blueblood’s wise in ways of Wolf Game. For pony.” Alisa made her way back towards the hidden entrance of her den, pausing to reach up and nuzzle his cheek on the way. “Of course, Blueblood has no proof of anything he just said. He knows value of good trick… and of keeping useful secrets to himself. Or is Alisa wrong about Blueblood?”

Blueblood chuckled, shaking his head, and followed her out.

Session 79.25 Alex Warlorn and Ardashir

"Another play? Cool! One from the Dragon Lands? This should be awesome... " Spike read the script. "The glorious day that Dragon Lord Torch banished the deviant separatists from the Dragon Lands ... uh, is this a good time to mention I already invited Mina to the premiere?"

He began looking through the rest of the plays. "Yeesh, this is worse than when Twilight let it get out that we played tabletop RPGs. 'When the Poor Innocent Queen Chrysalis had her beloved children stolen from her and turned into explosions from a paint factory'? 'The Tragic Betrayal of the Hippogriffs by the Pony Tempest Storm'? 'Yaks Smash: the Musical'? Hoo boy...." He looked at one more. "'When Am I Gonna Get Recalled From Puny Pony Land' by Garble?!?"

"Hey, dork, that's not some dumb play." Garble snatched the missive from Spike's claws. "That's my twenty-first letter home asking to get out of here."

Session 79.26 Kendell2

Fizzlepop looked at the one Spike read about the Hippogriffs. "Uh, Spike I wrote that one."

Spike blinked. "You did?"

"...I regretted that when I DID IT, I just convinced myself it would be worth it, it wasn't...so I owned up to it."

"Wow...that's actually pretty mature of you."

"What are you doing, Pinkie Pie?" asked Twilight, trotting over to her.

"Trying to decide with the writer whether or not to start using Power Rangers now that we don't need to do a lawyer friendly cameo..." said Pinkie Pie, staring at the fourth wall.

Twilight blinked. "...Say what?"

"Hasbro bought Power Rangers! We're owned by the same company so we technically don't need to have it be an expy anymore..."

"...I'm going to go pretend I never had this conversation."

"Good call..."

Session 79.27 Mtangalion

Garble barged into Spike’s bedroom without asking and started banging his head on the wall, but Spike had sort of gotten used to that. “I can’t believe she actually did it!” grumbled Garble. “That was so uncool!”

Spike put his Pony Rangers comic down, sighing. “Who did what to who now?”

Garble threw up his claws. “Oh, nothing much! Ember got Twi-nerd to teach her the dragon mail spell, that’s all! It’s bad enough she won’t gimme my hoard back, now she can… HURK!” Garble’s cheeks bulged, and he spat crimson flames, which became a scroll with the seal of the Dragon Lands.

Spike smoothly leaned to one side to dodge the flames, then caught the scroll and began reading the dragon runes aloud. “To Garble… Request denied again. You still suck as an ambassador, so I command you as Dragon Lord to… attend classes at the Friendship Gaming Academy?!”

Garble started banging his head again, chipping the wall crystals. “Spiiiike! This is super lame! How do I get out of this?”

“Looks like it’s gonna be Assistant Professor Spike to you.”

“Not... helping!” shouted Garble through clenched teeth.

Spike scratched his chin scales. “You know, I do have experience with the dragon mail thing, and there’s a couple things you can do. You know, just to remind certain ponies… or dragons… that you aren’t a walking post office box. Like, say… If you ‘accidentally’ mailed a really nasty rotten tomato back to someone…”

Garble blinked. “Wait, so you’ve done that? To Twilight!? Dude! That’s an awesome idea!” He rubbed his paws together, cackling.

“Whoa, whoa!” said Spike. “It has to be ‘by accident’ or you’ll get yelled at. You know, subtle!”

Garble tilted his head to one side. “Why do you keep doing that thing with your claws?”

Spike did a mild double-take. “What, you mean, air quotes?” Garble didn’t look enlightened in the slightest. “I’m wiggling my claws like they’re quotation marks, like when I write down what someone said in Pony… Uh, never mind.”

Garble folded his arms, snorting. “Is this that sarcasm stuff again?”

Spike sighed. “Not exactly. Come on, let’s get you some quartz chips.” Garble looked lost and annoyed again. “For your stomach. It helps with the dragon mail thing.”

Garble put a paw over his belly, which did rumble a bit queasily just then. “Burn subtle. I’m gonna mail Ember all the moss they just dredged out of the school’s lake!”

Spike grinned slyly. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 79.0 Alex Warlorn
Session 79.1 Alex Warlorn
Session 79.2 Alex Warlorn
Session 79.3 Alex Warlorn
Session 79.4 SomeRandomMinion
Session 79.5 Ardashir
Session 79.6 Grogar-the-onser
Session 79.7 Jarkes, Grogar-the-Oneser
Session 79.8 Ardashir
Session 79.9 Alex Warlorn
Session 79.10 Zaku789
Session 79.11 Mtangalion
Session 79.12 Alex Warlorn
Session 79.13 Grogar-the-onser
Session 79.14 Alex Warlorn
Session 79.15 Alex Warlorn
Session 79.16 Mtangalion
Session 79.17 Grogar-the-onser sonicandmario826
Session 79.18 Ardashir
Session 79.19 Alex Warlorn
Session 79.20 Grogar-the-onser
Session 79.21 Ardashir and Mtangalion
Session 79.22 Alex Warlorn
Session 79.23 Alex Warlorn
Session 79.24 Mtangalion
Session 79.25 Alex Warlorn and Ardashir
Session 79.26 Kendell2
Session 79.27 Mtangalion

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Picture by CorruptTempest used with permission.

https://corrupttempest.deviantart.com/art/FIRE-Dragon-118868421

Session 80

Session 80.0 Alex Warlorn and Ardashir

"Now aren't you all happy that I edited your memories and using amnesiac suggestion made you all my obedient friends and now obey me without question?"

"Yes Mistress Wallflower Blush," the entire student body and the teachers said, all with grins on their faces.

"We will make all of Canterlot City a garden."

"Yes Mistress Wallflower."

"Dance my royal jester Sunset Shimmer, in your underwear!"

"Yes Mistress Wallflower."

"AAAAAAAAAAGH!"

"Sunset, what's wrong?!" Twilight asked. "You fell asleep while looking through the books!"

"I just had the most horrible nightmare of a possible future! She must be stopped!"

-

An alternate-universe Accord watching that dream sniffed. "She makes me so proud. I wish she was my daughter."

Nearby stood Celestia, Luna, and the Mane Six, all with huge vacant smiles on their faces. They felt nothing, feared nothing, desired nothing, wanted only to please Accord.

Session 80.1 Kendell2

The group was once again playing one of their games thanks to Discord's powers making it real.

"You know there's a lot of ponies we've never actually done anything with despite ALL the friends we have!" said Pinkie Pie the Bard said as she played a song to buff up Rainbow Dash as she slashes a skeleton monster.

"Like who?" asked Rainbow Dash, blocking a skeleton cut out's attack.

"Well what about Miss Harsh Whinnie?" asked Pinkie Pie.

Rainbow Dash had to be saved by Rarity from a monster due to laughing too hard at that. "Pinkie, I know she DOES have an excitable side, but do you REALLY think Miss Harsh Whinnie of all ponies would be up for O&O or LARPing?"

"Okay, so you sneak up behind that guard and take him out, then we'll move on to assassinate the king..." said a changeling dressed in assassin attire.

"Got it. Let's-"

With a battle cry a big intimidating Barbardian in full armor leapt on them with a battle ax.

With them taken care of, the mare roared and charged into the more obvious part of the battle.

"...Well we're dead..." said one changeling, the two detransforming to reveal purified ones as they moved to the side so no one would trip over them. "Who is that exactly?"

The Barbarian took a moment to catch her breath, raising her visor to reveal...Miss Harsh Whinnie, who only moved her visor to get a look around before charging back into the fantasy battle currently happening to make sure no one saw her face. "Fear the wrath of Doombringer the Barbarian!" she announced in the most over the top way possible.

"Don't know, but she's really into it..." said the other changeling.

"Yeah, you're probably right..." Pinkie Pie replied, playing another song to heal some damage Rainbow took while laughing.

OOC: Inspired by some fimfiction comments.

Session 80.2 Ardashir

In Canterlot, shortly after Twilight and a terrified Sunset left the library, Starswirl strolled in to the palace with an old, very old, chessboard.

"Celestia! Luna!" He called for them like a teacher summoning students -- which to him, they still were. "Where are you two at? I need someone to play a game of chess with, like in the old days."

"My sister is busy, Starswirl," Luna began. Starswirl a-hemmed loudly and raised an eyebrow. She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Very well, teacher Starswirl. Really, must I call you that after all these centuries?" She sat at the other side of the table as he carefully arranged the hoof-carved chess pieces.

"You never finished your studies with me," Starswirl snorted as he moved his first pwn forward. "We should take care of that. And, you turned evil and tried usurping the throne you shared with Celestia!" He scowled at the board as Luna moved one of her knights out on to the field. He swiftly took it. "You need to remember that your decisions have consequences, Luna."

"Indeed," Luna said, her voice chilly. "I seem to recall some of thy decisions that did not go well. Like sending the Sirens into another world, where they later caused mischief..."

Starswirl waved his hoof in dismissal. "Bah, how much trouble could they cause? It was a world with next to no magic. A perfect place to send dangerous magical creatures and artifacts. They couldn't be a threat there."

"I am not so sure about that," Luna looked darkly at the board as Starswirl slowly and surely whittled her pieces away to nothing, closing in on the Princess -- what was called the 'King' i other lands. His casual way of defeating her was no easier to bear now than centuries gone. "One of thy other students, Clover the Clever, seems to have sent a dangerous artifact there that is being used to work wickedness. Or so Sunset and Twilight have told me."

Starswirl gave a snort of good-natured contempt for the very idea.

"Hmmph! If those artifacts were ever a danger, I'm sure I'd hear about it!"

***

In that other low-magic world where dangerous artifacts would be no trouble at all?

"Where are my hooves?" Sunset was on all ours before Wallflower. Princess Twilight and rest of her still former friends looked on in horror as she said, "What's happened to my body, my horn, my tail?" She looked around in horror, her eyes wide and shivering in fear. "WHAT IS THIS PLACE AND WHAT ARE YOU CREATURES?"

***

Elsehwhere in that world, as three harmless Sirens read through the mail they got from their Latin American publishers. Aria scowled as she read through yet another hand-written letter replete with death threats. Behind her Sonata was mowing her way through yet another taco lunch.

"So that's another dozen or so letters from brujas, mayomberos, and abacuaneros threatening to put the evil eye on you for 'exposing their secrets'; are you worried about this Adagio - Adagio?"

"Hmm?" Adagio leaned back in her chair and smiled, a dreamy look on her face. "For some reason I felt like someone I hated was suffering horribly thanks to that pompous old wizard Starswirl. If only I could be there to enjoy it in person."

Session 80.4 Grogar-the-oneser

All the ponies gaped at the sight of emo Starlight Glimmer portrait.

"Oh like none of you went through a emo-goth phase." Starlight said annoyed.

"It's not that, we just thought it be more-"

"If you say conqueror I'm going to punch you in the snout!"

"Yeesh calm down." Rainbow said.

"Sorry, It just my dad is stuck in past that it driving me crazy... also show my family might have a problem when it comes to letting go of the past." Starlight mutter the last part.

"Yeah well remember my mom philosophy isn't exactly sunshine either," Sunburst said annoyed. "Why she thought that gate was an improvement is BEYOND ME!"

Session 80.5 Alex Warlorn

"Welcome brave hero! It's so happy you could... who the Tartarus are you supposed to be?" Said the sexy unicorn mare on her throne.

"HI!" Shouted the white in green clothes before saying. "Oh, hi I'm Shining Chain-Linked-Armor... There was an announcement that the master of this castle was looking for a brave hero, so here I am."

"But... But... You're not the one I was looking for! How did you even get here?!"

"Wasn't easy let me tell you... there were a buncha guards who keep trying to lock me up when I told them I was a the Chosen One, they kinda gave up after thirty-seventh try... oh and this darn bard tried to enslave me with his magic lute, thankfully I broke his spell over his slaves, broke his lute, and gave him over to the guards... they sure looked confused for some reason."

The mare doubled in size and her eyes glowed red as darkness swarmed around her, "THAT WAS THE HERO YOU DORK! He was the one I was waiting for!... Blast it! Well! I have some sacred seals that I'd like broken, they hold a vast treasure for you, and I can pay you handsomely with gold," she fluttered her eyes. "Or other ways."

"First, I'm a prince, what do I need money for? And second, I'm a married stallion, thank you very much!"

"If you're a princess what the buck are you doing adventuring?!"

Shining Chain-Linked-Armor blushed. "Well, I'm totally needed, I'm NOT just a figure head or there to make new princesses or anything like that! But I thought I'd strike out and help on my own for a while!"

"Oh whatever! I don't have time for your whining! I'll just kill you and start from scratch!" And the queen turned into an Umbra.

-

"Cadence... I think that this enchanted comic got some pages mixed up at the print shop." Shining Armor called after crashing the enchanted comic.

Session 80.6 Mtangalion and Alex Warlorn

A beat-up old pickup pulled into the CHS parking lot, and Gilda hopped out, wandering over to a confused group of friends. "Hey, Dash, you know anybody around here named Sunset Shimmer? She sent me a text. Something about people losing their memories?"

"Oh hey, G." Dash frowned. "Why would a totally uncool jerk like Sunset send *you* a text? Especially when she's totally lost it and thinks she's a dog or a horse or something."

Gilda's jaw dropped, seeing Sunset crawling around on her hands and knees, babbling about magic and princesses... and then her eyes narrowed, noticing a mousy girl with green skin and darker green hair slipping away from the scene

Wallflower Blush darted around the corner of the school building, panting. "Whew... I'm just happy I thought to run after stealing all of Sunset's memories clear back to middle school in front of everybody... Or I'd just to erase their memories... This isn't fun. Why does this feel so empty?" A shadow fell over her. "Who..."

Gilda punched Wallflower hard enough to lay her out on the ground, then crouched down and and picked up the Memory Stone. The moment she touched it, Gilda hissed and shuddered, as if she'd grabbed a chunk of solid ice. "Yeowch! I don't know what kinda magic is in this thing, but the kinda magic I've got really doesn't like it."

Wallflower groaned, sitting up. "What are you doing? Give that back!"

Gilda blinked. "Uh, why would I let you let you get this back and erase my memory? 'Oh, you asked nicely! Here you go!' As if." Gilda slammed the Stone against the school building, but the Stone only chipped the school's brick exterior. "Dang, this thing's tough." Gilda grinned mischievously and griffoned-up, brandishing her magical warhammer. "But I'm tougher!" She dropped the Memory Stone on the ground, screamed an old Griffonstone High athletic cheer, and brought the hammer down.

The hammer-blow made a foot deep crater in the pavement, rattled Gilda's teeth, and made both her arms numb, but the Memory Stone itself was undamaged. "Holy squawk, that's one tough cookie!"

"I said, give it back!" yelled Wallflower, diving and making a grab for the stone.

Gilda nonchalantly held Wallflower back and punched her again. But before she could...

"HEY! STOP THAT YOU BIG BULLY!!!"

The glow of Equestrian magic came from Wallflower's smart phone, and out flew a holographic Screwball, her beanie buzzing, looking very angry at Gilda.

"You again? For the last time I'm not interested in buying-"

Screwball slaps Gilda in the face several times using the Equestrian Magic that allowed her to manifest in this world the size of a tinyy little breezie like figure. Then she backflipped Gilda a couple times for good measure.

Screwball and Wallflower turned to see the humane six... with Sunset Shimmer...

"That magic... familiar..." Sunset whispered.

"Girls... she says she erased your memories..." Gilda said on the ground and dizzy, Wallflower picked up the memory stone.

"Hey! You're the NPC who sold us things while the Dazzlings turned the whole town into sirens!" Sci- said.

"Yep! Dra-Gon wasn't a fair fight! But you're bad for hurting Wallflower!"

"You don't have long before your memories of her are gone for good anyway, I'd say about six hours at most, right at midnight..." Wallflower shrugged.

"Does that stone really erase stuff?" Screwball asked.

"Uh, yes."

Screwball whispered to Wallflower.

"... Alright, this world always treated me like the dung under their boots anyway..."

Wallflower held up the stone, and Screwball glowed.

There was a flash of light...

And...

Wallflower was now dressed like the hero from dragon warrior, Screwball was now a Breezie and... Wallflower was riding a golden horse with a white mane with violet highlights.

"I am Gildie the Horse." The grown golden mare said with a huge grin. "I carry the hero Wallflower from place to place! I am not hungry. I am very happy. I am at maximum hit points! I do not need to go potty right now."

Wallflower patted her on the neck and Gildie the war horse whinnied happily.

"What did you do to her?!" Rainbow demanded.

"Oh, the memory stone emptied out her brain."

"And I filled it up back up!" Screwball said, "She was mean before, now she's nice, it's like debugging!" Screwball said without a trace of malice or irony. "It's the circle of digital-life!" Screwball made a digital rainbow arc between her hooves.

"Come on Gilda! You have to remember that you're not any dweeb's steed!"

"Dweeb is a bad word, I will not say bad words because they are bad, and that is not good, because it is bad which is bad." Gildie the horse said with her grinning face.

"Uh, girls, notice how everythin' seems taller?" AJ asked.

The girls looked around, and down, and yelped.

They were now little green goblins with swords and armor, but looked like the programmer had 'forgotten' to make most of their armor from the waist up.

Fluttershy yelped and covered her chest blushing.

"How the heck can we this short and have chests this big?!" Rainbow declared.

"What game did you even base these on?!" Rarity shouted.

Screwball shrugged, "I dunno, I found it abandoned and in beta on this dark scary part of the internet with no outward links to it."

Twilight looked above their heads, and saw names like 'Meanie Pants' 'Always Ignores Nice Girls' 'Arrogant Jerk' 'Cares More about hurt animals than hurt people' and the their hit points... and saw Wallflowers, "She's a level 10 player character... we're level 1 goblins... RUN FOR IT!"

'The Meanie Pants Ran Away'

"... Screwball... I... I didn't want to hurt them... I... I just wanted everyone to see Sunset still treated others like dirt..."

"Don't worry Wallflower, you don't have to fight them if you don't want to, this is your world... let go play some mini-games!"

"O-okay!" Wallflower smiled and directed Gildie her horse the direction Screwball guided her.

+++

At the Friendship Castle, Princess Twilight strode resolutely towards the portal room, flanked by Starlight and Princess Celestia. "Sunset's stopped answering her journal. I knew we shouldn't have let her go back alone. It might already be too late to warn her... but she doesn't have much time to help their... our friends!"

Princess Twilight entered the human world... and... it was a bright sunny day in spite of Twilight checking her iphone to confirm it should have been sunset. Humans were walking around putting one foot in front of the other, and with her hand waving at her hips, all with hug grins on their faces.

"And what's that pleasant unintrusive music in the background?"

= Animal Crossing - XX AM/PM =

"Hello. What a lovely day this is. Would you like to trade some wallpaper for a chair?" Indigo Zap asked with a grin on her face. And she had the pony ears and tail.

"I'm Wallflower Blush's friends, are you Wallflower Blush's friend?" Asked a grinning human Starlight again in pony form. In fact... Twilight saw every human she laid her eyes on was in 'anthro' mode.

Princess Twilight check the time. "Not long at all before their memories are gone for good... No time to waste on distractions!"

Session 80.7 Grogar-the-oneser

"What the- I clearly grounded her!" Discord shouted as he look outside. "Huh- so this is what it's like to be an authority figure when someone doesn't listen to you... Not sure I like it. Though that begged the question... why wasn't I changed?"

"Oh I avoided that building cause I think if I did, Daddy would get strong enough to return thing to normal if he changed, and we can't have that." Screwball said as they played a mini-game.

"Err... Right." Wallflower said, with her grin getting more force by the minute. She was kinda creeped out, by what happened, and that she MIGHT have overreacted when Gilda punched her. Heck if she being honest, She was sorta glad Gilda (A person) noticed her. Granted she punched her, but after seeing Sunset freaked out with no memory as a human, made her feel like she might have deserved it.

Also, the vacant eye stare of people claiming to be her friends was seriously creeping her out.

"Man this place got creepier." Pony! Starlight stated (She decided to follow Twilight). "I mean I'm one to talk but the vacant-eyed look is seriously creepy."

"Agree that why we have to keep looking for Sunset and the others," Twilight said.

"But this place is huge, where are we suppose to look?" Starlight asked.

"OH MY CELESTIA JUST STOP!" Sunset voice snapped annoyed "So you're missing a piece of clothing, big whoop, where I'm from, where mostly naked 24/7."

"I think I have a good guess," Twilight stated in a deadpan tone.

"Think she got hit by that stone." Starlight said equally deadpanned.

"Most definitely."

Session 80.8 Alex Warlorn

The pink AI Diana private messaged Screwball:

"See? I told you this would work! And see, everyone is happy, and Wallflower and you are happy!"

"It did all work out didn't it?" Screwball said, the idea that Wallflower had used the memory stone on her when they first met didn't occur to her at all, after all, she and Wallflower were friends.

Wallflower admitted to herself, on top of everything else, seeing Screwball be so eager to help her and literally move worlds for her... when it was all based on Wallflower erasing the memories of Wallflower's completely pathetic hacking attempts and then telling Screwball she'd been told by the company as part of a secret project to punished Sunset.... Wallflower felt sick to her stomach. She had a "real" friend in the little computer program, and it was all based on a lie. She didn't fear what the magically charged Screwball would do to her, she feared that friendship, no matter how false the foundation, breaking.

Diana gave another private message, "But why didn't you go off after the short stack goblins? The one with glasses deserved it!"

"Wallflower says she doesn't want to hurt them. So she won't."

The AI Diana within the WOH servers snorted.

Session 80.9 Alex Warlorn

Human, now goblin Pinkie Pie sighed sadly. "I can't believe Screwball would do this... we're friends... well, online friends but still friends, but still friends, I wonder what kinda magic she got that she can do all this and can appear as a tiny version of her WoH self!"

Session 80.10 Ardashir (like added by me)

A few weeks ago, after the Great Siren Uprising but before the current catastrophe:

Garble wandered the school halls, listening to the students hunting for him. The last time the brats nagged him he'd chased them away with some dragonfire. That little traitor Smolder complained to Ember and the puny purple princess pony which lead to him being dragged before Smolder's mother -- and the mothers of the other kids -- and warned in detail what he could expect if he ever tried that again. "Play nice with our kids. OR ELSE."

So here he was. Playing with little kids. Could his life get any more humiliating?

"Yeesh, bad enough I gotta 'pway games with the adorable kiddies'." He minced as he spoke. "And hide-and-seek? That's for losers like ponies and numbskulls like yaks." He took one more step, stopped in front of the library doors, and stomped in disgust. "Forget it! I'm a dragon! I have my pride! I'm not scared of a bunch of old women wanting me to play nice with their brats..."

"Hey I think I can smell him down this way!" He froze as Smolder's voice echoed down the hall. "Come on, don't be afraid of him! Remember what my mom said?"

Garble suddenly remembered that massive head lowering to look at him as he twitched in her claw, the sulphurous breath blasting his face as Smolder's mother hissed, "If you ever hurt or frighten my daughter again..." That giant maw opening beneath him like a fang-lined cavern...

"Okay, hide and seek it is!" Garble dashed into the room and blinked to see the mirror flashing before him. "Eh, Spike told me this is some kind of gate to other worlds. Pff, yeah, like I'm dumb enough to believe that."

Claws clicked on the floor outside, getting ever closer. "Remember: Sweetie said if we caught him, she's show us how to give him a makeover!"

Garble choked and dove through the mirror without hesitating.

***

Moment later, on the other side of the mirror, a red and yellow large mongrel dog emerged before Canterlot High. Several nearby people noticed and approached the stray, along with a uniformed man bearing a net. Garble looked around and sniffed.

"Yeesh, this place is a bigger dump than dumb Pony land." Garble sneered as he looked at the buildings around him. He looked down at himself and recoiled in disgust. "And I look like one of those stupid Diamond Wolf-things. Maybe I shoulda listened to Spike and stayed away from that dumb mirror... Nah. How much trouble can I get in? Besides it's all probably just some dumb illusion the purple pony put together to rattle me. Like those dopey comics that Dragontown traitor Mina keeps sending Spike. I'll teach 'em all!" He started scratching behind one ear with a hind leg. "I'm too smart to be tricked."

He gave a howl as a large net promptly slammed down over him.

"That's gotta be the ugliest stray I've ever seen." The Canterlot City dogcatcher looked through the mesh at the snarling dog. "He looks familiar too. I thought he hung out at the town dump with those other mutts?"

"MUTT?" Garble shook his paw at the man. "HEY! Get the net off before I breathe fire on you, ya hairless monkey!" He huffed deep, wondering where the familiar furnace in his chest seemed to have gone.

As it turned out he didn't need it. The dogcatcher just stared. He blinked slowly. Then with a scream he hurled his net away and ran off wildly, waving his arms wildly as he screamed. "HAAAALP! I just lost my mind! Or I didn't, and that's even worse!"

"Hah!" Garble jumped up on his hind legs and shadowboxed. The crowd of students stared on in rising horror as he said, "Yeah, you better run, punk! What?" He turned to the students paws set on his hips. "Ain't none of you losers ever seen a guy talk before? Now I gotta find me some gemstones to eat."

Garble strolled off in the direction of the nearest gem store. Behind him, the terrified citizens gave one collective scream as they fled panicking through the streets.

"Aliens!"

"Werewolves!"

"Monster Dog!"

***

A few hours later Sunset Shimmer was settling down to the evening news. She watched, trying not to fall asleep - and then sat up straight, her eyes wide at what was being said.

"...And for our strange story of the evening, people are panicking in the area near Canterlot High as stories of a foul-mouthed talking dog threatening crowds and robbing a jewelry store flood the area. We asked a local expert for his opinion."

"It can't be," she moaned, facepalming. "Twilight said she'd be more careful. She wouldn't let any idiot use that gate."

Meanwhile the local 'expert', who looked like a vaguely intellectual Larry Fine in a bad suit, was talking on the show. Behind him was a whiteboard covered with drawings and photos of what Sunset assumed were supposed to be aliens. She remembered him getting a lot of airtime after the business with the Sirens last month, going on and on about space aliens, ancient astronauts, and the massive conspiracy to Hide The Truth. She'd wondered if she should just pony up and visit him to see what he'd do.

To judge by the TV screen it would have been a bad idea. He was pointing at a vague photo of Dagon and the Dazzlings, with her and her friends confronting them. Another, more recent photo of the upright dog was beside them, and he was in fine form as he spoke.

"I can say this without any fear of contradiction: the town has been invaded by space aliens." He pointed at the photos. "Last month their earlier attempt was thwarted by some top secret shadow government Black Project, so now a higher ranked member -- probably one those three homely fish women answer to -- has come to finish the job." He looked right into he camera, a smile tugging at his mouth. "It would be irresponsible of me to tell people to panic, but we're all as good as dead." He leaped to his feet with a mad laugh an thrust one finger at the screen. "HAH! AND YOU ALL SAID I WAS A NUT! THE ALIENS ARE REAL AND WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! WHO'S LAUGHING NOW??"

The screen went blank with a message reading 'Temporary Problems -- Please Stand By'.

Sunset just sighed and picked up the phone.

"Twi? About the news... You saw? And everyone's coming over here right now? Oh, he stole the gems from the store Rarity works at, so she already knew? Yeah, I'll meet you at the door. Yeah, I'll be ready." She hung up the phone with a groan. "I have got to talk to Twilight about keeping a closer eye on that gate."

-

"HOMELY?!" Adagio snarled. "I'LL KILL'EM!"

Session 80.11 Ardashir

"Auntie, are we going through after Twilight?" Cadence poked her head through the gate and quickly pulled it back. "Things look pretty crazy over there."

"Not unless Twilight needs us," Celestia warned her. Before her she had a card deck out and was playing solitaire. Very poorly; most of her attention was on the gate. "Right now we should stay here. If something dangerous tries to come through, we can fight it off and --"

At that exact moment a blue-green pegasus with a blonde man-bun mane stuck his head through. "Hey, you want to be friends with Wallflower Blush? And you busy tonight, ladies?" He grinned and waggled his eyebrows at them.

A spell bolt from Celestia sent him rolling back through the mirror gate.

"Anything dangerous, or just annoying," she said.

Session 80.12 Mtangalion

(continuing Garble's adventures beyond the mirror)

Ember stormed into the portal room, glaring daggers at the two armored thestral stallions who had been standing watch outside, even though Princess Twilight kept insisting that she didn’t really need a Dusk Guard or a Dawn Guard. Then Ember turned her wrath on Twilight herself. “I know Garble’s been a pain in the tail, but really? Losing him in *another world* in a game of hide and seek!?”

Twilight did her best impression of Princess Celestia’s smile #22. (Let’s all remain calm and not make this any worse.) “Dragon Lord Ember, I can assure you that Garble passed through the mirror of his own free will. My friends on the other side are already searching for him.”

Ember snorted a lick of flame. “Doesn’t matter. I made a mess of things, always pushing him harder, thinking he’d eventually shape up.” She laughed. “Heck, *Spike’s* done more to make that nitwit play nice than anything I did. I guess even a loser like Garble has his dragon pride. That’s why I’m gonna fetch him out of there myself.”

Twilight tensed. “Dragon Lord Ember, you really don’t need to…”

Ember paused on the threshold. “Say that first part again?”

“Um… Dragon Lord?”

“And don’t you forget it!” With that, Ember plunged into the mirror.

Princess Twilight sighed, looking at the portal wistfully. “Funny how history keeps repeating itself around this thing.”

Sunset and all of her friends were spread across the Canterlot High School grounds, searching in the dark with flashlights.

“Oh! Just wait until I get my hands on that thieving mutt,” grumbled Rarity.

“Here, Garble!” called Fluttershy sweetly. “Don’t you want one of my extra crunchy dog treats? Ooh, they’re really yummy!”

“He’s a talking dog like Spike, Shy,” deadpanned Applejack. “Doncha think he’ll just be insulted?”

Spike the dog rubbed against Fluttershy’s legs. “I’ll take the treat if that other dog doesn’t want it!”

Twilight smirked. “You were saying?”

Rainbow Dash yawned profusely. “Ugh… did we seriously cancel a World of Horsecraft raid to look for a missing dog? I thought that was just an excuse in case our parents overheard.”

Pinkie Pie had a deerstaker hat and cape from the school’s drama department, somehow. “Gosh, I’ve checked my house, I’ve checked Crystal Prep, I’ve checked the Friendship Castle arcade, I’ve checked Camp Everfree, I just can’t find that doggone dog anywhere!”

“How…” Gilda groaned. “Never mind. If that mutt is anywhere around here, Ember will pick up his trail! Right, girl?”

The blue dog sniffed all around in a circle, then suddenly sat bolt upright, ears perked. “New person! At the door to the magic place! Hey! Hey, you! Hey!” Ember charged towards the statue, slipping right out of her collar and leash.

“Why did I bother?” grumbled Gilda, running after her. She reached the statue and raised her flashlight, illuminating *two* identical blue dogs.

Spike reached them first, skidding to a stop. “Two Embers!?”

Gilda looked from dog to dog. “What the squawk? I can’t tell them apart!”

One of the blue dogs struggled to stand on two paws, and pointed a forepaw imperiously at Sunset. “You there, furless minotaur cow! As Dragon Lord, I demand that you help me find my lost subject, Garble!”

The other Ember romped around, so excited that her own furiously wagging tail threatened to tip her over. "New dog, who looks just like me! Let's bark and play and sniff each other's butts!"

Gilda immediately relaxed. "Okay, yeah, that one's mine. Had me worried there for a second!"

Applejack blinked. “Hang on, did she say, Garble? As in, Garble the junkyard dog?”

A bedraggled red canine stumbled out of the brush, dragging a bag full of gems. “That’s my name, don’t wear it out. Ugh, it sucks here, I just wanna go home! No fire, no flying… I nearly broke a tooth trying to eat a gem!” Garble did a double-take. “Wha… Ember? You came yourself?” He smirked, turning away. “Heh, don’t tell you were actually worried about me or something.”

“W-worried? Of course I wasn’t worried, scalebrain!” Ember the transformed dragoness padded over and lightly cuffed Garble’s ear. “I just came to tell you… um… that I’m returning your hoard! Do you think you can manage to stay in Equestria and stop making trouble for everydragon now?”

Garble’s jaw dropped. “What, really!? I mean… finally, it’s about time! I can do that first part for sure. Home is where your hoard is, after all.”

Ember grinned toothily. “I’ll have it brought to your ambassadorial suite in Twilight’s castle, then.”

Garble fell over. “Still? I’m still… Arrggh!”

Ember rolled her eyes. “I’m Dragon Lord Ember, sulfur breath! Dragon Lord Aaagghh was my grandfather.”

All of the humans started giggling for some reason. “Argh?” echoed Sunset.

“No, I think it’s supposed to be 'Aaaauugggh', at the back of the throat,” said Pinkie Pie brightly. “Aaauugh.”

“Shut up!” barked Ember. “That was a super honorable name back then. Ugh, let’s just go.” Garble tried to bring the bag of gems with him, but Ember swatted it out of his teeth-grip, and then the two dragons returned through the portal.

As Ember and Garble left, a curious swirl of magic was left behind. It rose, unnoticed, and flew across the countryside, homing in on a certain red junkyard dog, and settling into his head and throat.

Garble the dog snorted awake. “Wha? I’m talking? Yes, YES! I have the voice of the masters! Best dream ever, even better than the squirrel dream!” He turned around three times and settled back to a contented slumber. “Mmm… Squirrel! Hehe…”

Session 80.13 Ardashir

"Fluttershy!" Applejack hurried up to her friend's front door. Behind her, in the cool Spring night, panicked whinnies and neighs rose from Ponyville. Balls of light flew over the town, blood crimson and electric blue and vivid green. "We need ya here!"

As she raced down the trail to Fluttershy's house, three dark forms charged at her from the darkness. Applejack froze, only to sigh in relief when she saw the Flower Trio go racing by her.

"We saw it in the woods!" Lily cried as she ran by, her ears pinned. "It had a glowing red face! And a black body!"

"And no legs!" Rose yelled. "It floated and it smelled funny!" Applejack was about to ask them what they'd seen -- the small monsters she'd seen at Sweet Apple Acres were short and silver with big eyes and they'd scratched at the windows, floating away when apples were tossed at them -- but froze at what Daisy said.

"It went into Fluttershy's house, along with the flying monster with the pony head and dragon wings!"

"WHAT!" Applejack would have grabbed them to get some more answers, but right then a hideous shriek like a mare in terror blasted her from overhead. She flung herself flat and saw a massive black form, seemingly headless but with two giant glowing red eyes, wings outstretched and motionless, head for Fluttershy's house. It flew in through a window to the sound of a equine shriek.

"Fluttershy!" Applejack raced to the front door and smashed through it, snorting and ears pinned. "Okay, ya darn no-good monsters! Now we're gonna..."

She blinked at what she saw. The huge Phantom the Flower Trio saw, the silvery clawed monkey-things from the farm, the dragon-winged pony-monster and the huge flying moth-man, and several less describable things were all gathered around the table in Fluttershy's living room along with Discord and Fluttershy herself. Dice, a plate of -- something vaguely akin to food, cups filled with what looked like silvery mist, and a copy of the Crystals and Rainbows rulebook lay there.

The Moth-thing waved its wings and made a loud chirping sound like a giant bat.

"Now, now, Mothy," Discord said to it. "No, you don't get extra points for hugging Nessie twice. No double-dipping. Oh, hello there, Applejack." He smiled at her. "I just invited a few of my friends over for a visit and they decided they wanted to play a few rounds of C&R."

"Discord!" He smiled innocently as she pointed back at the town. "Yore friends scared everypony in town half outta their wits!"

"Oh, please, like that's difficult." As she snorted, he added, "Besides, Fluttershy agreed to it."

"Discord has such wonderful friends," she said as she fluttered into the room with more of the odd 'food' already on the table. The various creatures took the plates with noises like chirps, screams, and crying foals as she hoofed them around. "He says they're a real scream back where they usually live. I like them so much, I'm going to ask them to come back every week!... Applejack, why do you look faint?"

Session 80.14 Mtangalion

(Some Infinity War references, but there shouldn't be any big spoilers if you watched the trailers.)

A portal opened, and Reaper the Mad Griffon arrived in the war zone that Zebrafrica had become, huge and imposing with his black fur, deep purple plumage, and golden armor. “Shining Armor. Princess Cadence. You have fought well, but you WILL surrender the Element of Loyalty to me. Once the Harmony Clawntlet is complete…” Reaper held aloft his left claw, showing off the flexible claw-armor already adorned with the other five Elements. “... I will bring Equus into balance at last.”

Shining Armor stumbled to his hooves and took deep breaths, decked out in the literal suit of shining armor that the Element on his forehead had created for him. “Actually… I think we missed some of the backstory. What does that mean exactly, bringing Equus into balance? Cady?”

Cadence shook her head. Her Iron Mare suit was battered and scorched and missing many pieces. “Sorry, I didn’t catch it either.”

Reaper arched a brow. “It’s quite simple. Equus has too many mares. With but a snap of my talons, half of all the mares in the world, chosen entirely at random… will be transformed into stallions!”

Cadence and Shining looked at each other, while Reaper waited and armies of zebras and aliens continued to clash in the background. “What, that’s it?” asked Cadence.

“What do you mean, ‘is that it?’” Reaper clenched his armored talons, growling. “This is my grand purpose, my long sought goal!”

“You know, that really doesn’t sound so bad,” said Cadence.

Shining Armor was nodding. “He does have a point about the mare-stallion imbalance being a problem. Nopony’s ever come up with a good solution, though.”

Cadence rubbed her chin with a hoof. “Shiny, let’s let him do it.”

Shining took a step back. “Wha… Cady! Reaper beat some of our friends to a pulp, getting those other five Elements!”

Cadence put a wing around her husband. “Yes, and we’re still VERY cross about that, but if Mr. Reaper will Pinkie Pie Promise to change half of the mares into stallions and *nothing* else, then give up the Elements and apologize… I think we can make a deal here.”

“That’s a lot of ‘ifs’,” said Shining. “And what if *you* turn into a stallion?”

Cadence grinned slyly. “Well, it’s not like we’ve never…”

Shining Armor blushed.

“You… you can’t do that!” stammered Reaper. “I demand that you fight me! There must be an epic final battle! With a shocking last minute twist!”

“No,” said Princess Cadence sweetly.

Cadence and Shining were abruptly catapulted back into the real world, where they found Gilda gaping at her enchanted comic, which had just frozen up and caught fire.

“What did you do?!” squawked Gilda. “I spent weeks on that fan adaptation! Weeks! It was perfect! Starlight must have messed up transcribing it! There’s no way…”

Shining Armor gleefully pointed a hoof at her. “HAH! Now you know how it feels!”

Session 80.15 Grogar-the-oneser

"Wow... she really downgraded you guys!" Princess Twilight stated.

"Yeah, you look like one of those H-games, and a really rape-y one at that," Starlight said.

"Oh great more people I don't know in this horrible place!" Sunset shouted.

"Wait, Twilight, the princess one, do you know what going on?" Rainbow Dash said.

"Wait, you remember Twilight, and that she's from a different dimension yet can't remember Sunset being a good friend in her reformed." Starlight said.

"Like I said, the stone is very good at memory editing. But it shouldn't have been able to do all... this." Princess Twilight said confused.

"You just gesture to everything." Starlight said confused.

"Exactly, this is like Discord level of weirdness."

"So, Umm... how long will everything be like this?" Wallflower asked.

"Hopefully forever." Screwball stated.

"Great...." Wallflower said feeling like a massive jerk.

"I am hungry and will eat the grass now!" Gilda said excitedly.

Session 80.16 Ardashir

"Wait. Screwball. You're saying that I did all this?" Wallflower touched the Memory Stone. "With this?"

"Yep!" The purple breezie nodded so hard her propeller beanie almost fell off. "Oh, and my help! You made the world all better!"

They currently stood next to a large pool and fountain in the center of town. It currently looked to be made of ivory and gold. Only a few members of the currently transformed population were around, all of them smiling broadly and staring at Wallflower like she was their reason for existing.

"You did this?" Wallflower almost jumped out of her armor as a snarling musical voice nearby asked. "Then you're the one we want to eat -- I mean meet!"

She turned and blinked to see three Sirens looking at her where they rose from the fountain's water. The lead one, covered in golden scales, smiled to display shearing fangs. The purple and blue ones behind her were watching carefully.

"Oh, hi! You can completely trust us!" The golden one said with a leer of her fangs. "I'm Adagio, and these are my sisters Aria and Sonata. We, uh, we were stuck in this fountain by an evil wizard..."

"With lousy musical sense," Aria grumbled. "And a bunch of jerks helping him."

Adagio gave her a growl. Aria shrank back as Adagio said, "All because we're magic wish-granting Sirens who, er, do whatever nice and totally not-evil monsters do..."

"Since when?" Sonata asked innocently. As Adagio glared Sonata blithely ignored her to snap at an overly curious pigeon.

As Sonata crunched her snack, Adagio said, "Thing is, uh, with a little magical help we could go and do nice things for everyone, urrgh," she looked nauseated just to say it, "like we used to, so if you just used whatever magic you did to change all this to help us...."

Wallflower interrupted. "Wait you three look like the monsters from that one expansion for World of Horsecraft. They were pretty evil." She frowned. "And you sound a lot like those three fish-women that almost destroyed the city last month."

"Well, duh," Sonata said, spitting feathers. "We, like, totally are those three." She fell back into the pool as Adagio's tail swept up and smacked her in the face.

"Okay, yeah, yeah, we're the three monsters who tried to conquer the city last month and nearly got away with it too," Adagio snarled and pointed at the Memory Stone. Behind her Sonata rose from the waters, shaking her head. Aria grinned evilly and closed in behind Adagio. "Third time's the charm. If you did all this with that stone, we want it!"

"No." Wallflower frowned as she stepped away from the pool. Her horse Gildie and Screwball flanked her. "It's mine and I don't trust you with it. So go away."

"Really, honey?" Adagio asked in mock sympathy. She heaved herself out of the water and slithered after her, Aria close behind. "I'm not ASKING you, brat!"

At the sight of two large and vicious Sirens coming at her, fangs bared, Wallflower did the only thing she could think of. She raised the Memory Stone and yelled, "Forget the Stone, forget me, forget everything!"

***

Sonata blinked to see her sisters suddenly looking at her and each other blankly. The green-haired girl mounted her horse and rode away, the breezie accompanying her.

She slithered out by Adagio and Aria. "Hey, like, aren't we supposed to be chasing her?"

"Chase? Her?" They looked at her in utter incomprehension. "Who her?" They looked at each other and then at everything else. They looked utterly fazed by everything they saw. "What are we doing here? Where is the rest of the Siren pack? Is this the surface?"

Sonata was about to ask what kind of a game they were playing and if she could play too when she -- slowly -- thought. 'Adagio said that girl has some Memory Stone magic thingy she heard about back in Equestria. She said it could be used to, like, take memories from people.' Her eyes widened as she saw Aria and Adagio slither over to a rather ripe trash can, sniff at it, and recoil in disgust. 'Hey, she used it on Aria and Adagio. She told them to forget everything. They're, like, totally stupid now! Which means I'm the smart Siren, and that makes ME the alpha!'

'And now I'M the one who comes up with plans!'

"Aria! Adagio!" She slithered over to her sisters and reared above them, looking as intimidating as she could. They gave her blank looks as she said, "Okay! Like, from now on, I'm the pack alpha. That means you obey me, got it?"

"Yes, pack alpha," they repeated in unison. "What do we do, pack alpha?"

Sonata grandly waved one claw at a food stand on the other side of the pool. "Your alpha demands tacos! And fruit punch! And, I kinda guess I need a crown and junk now since I'm the Queen of the Sirens! So get going!"

Aria and Adagio crawled away to obey their new alpha. Sonata smiled and sank back in the pool, wondering if she should command them to fetch some humans to rub her scales. But it didn't matter.

This was already the best day Sonata had in a long time.

Session 80.17 Grogar-the-oneser

'Okay, so I did that to the siren but I did the right thing this time. They wanted to monster-up and I prevented that! That totally proves I'm still a good person... crap who am I kidding, just cause I look human doesn't mean I cause all this, lied to someone who actually paid attention to me, and those creepy vacant stares are still very creepy!'

"HEY!" A voice roared, causing both Screwball and Wallflower turn to see Princess!Twilight, Starlight Glimmer glaring at her.

"Oh look, it the other ones that appear during the siren crisis." Screwball said.

"Wait, shouldn't you be with the goblins?" Wallflower said.

"They don't feel comfortable walking around as they are at the moment," Twilight said.

"So we decided to issue a challenge." Starlight said.

"What kind of challenge?"

"Well, were tempted to fight physically you over the stone, but considering you did all this... we think maybe playing a game might be better." Starlight said.

"Ohh! What kind of game?" Screwball said.

"It can be any game of your choosing, we just ask that if we win, the world gets set back to normal with everyone being able to remember Sunset." Princess!Twilight stated.

"Fine, but if we win, you have to have your memory erased too." Wallflower said.

Session 80.18 Kendell2

"Wait!" said Pinkie Pie, poking out. "Screwball's doing all this, right?"

"Sorta," Screwball said, rotating in the air.

"You said your job is to make games fair, right?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Yeah, that's right! that's the job I do for daddy!" said Screwball.

"So any game Wallflower chooses, you'll make sure is FAIR right?" asked Pinkie Pie.

Screwball tapped her chin. "Yeah, I will."

Wallflower gasped. "Screwball!"

"Sorry, Wallflower, I have to be fair!" said the AI seriously.

"...Given a gamemaster who wasn't fair was a pain in my butt, I can respect that..." said Wallflower.

Session 80.19 Mtangalion

Gilda groaned and started to rub her eyes, only to stop in a hurry when she saw sharp claws in front of her face. “What the…” She flapped bronze-feathered wings one a time, then curled her paws and lashed her tail. “I’m a griffon again? Did I die and go to the catbird afterlife instead of people heaven? Somebody bucked up big time.”

A field of pixels appeared, quickly gaining high resolution and depth to become a grinning pink-haired girl with a propeller beanie. “Heehee, you’re not dead!” Screwball stroked her chin impishly. “Of course, I’m not sure you were alive to begin with!”

Gilda backed up, instantly wary. “You again?”

“Me again!” Screwball made several temporary duplicates of herself, examining Gilda from many angles at once. “I decided to reuse your old bad data for a video game that Wallflower wants to play, but when I stuck it to some Equestrian magic, I lost control of it, and it turned into you!” She gasped. “You’re a self-aware program just like us! Daddy will be so surprised when I tell him I can create life too!”

“Us?” echoed Gilda, not having understood half of that, and not sure she wanted to. She didn’t get an answer… instead, a huge floating window appeared, with giant images of Wallflower, Twilight, and Starlight on the other side. Almost as if… Gilda gulped… she was *inside* a video game cabinet, looking out at the people playing the game.

Eight-bit music started up, and an announcer shouted, “Get ready to play… Debug-It Diane!”

A video game sprite that looked just like Pinkie Pie appeared, floppy disc in hand. “I’m gonna debug it!”

“Can you help Debug-It Diane defeat the ultimate meanie, Punch-It Gilda!?”

Gilda couldn’t stop herself from striking a pose and shadow-boxing. “I’m gonna punch it!” Blink. “Hey, stop that! Don’t put words in my beak! Guys, you’ve gotta fix my real body and put me back in it somehow!”

In the transformed human world outside, Wallflower Blush smiled. “Mend-It Mindy is one of my favorite video games at the arcade. When I can play it…” She sighed. “When other people aren’t cutting in front of me because they didn’t even notice I was waiting to play…”

Inside the game, Gilda sat down, tail lashing. “This is so lame.” She pointed a claw at Diane, fuming. “I want to punch something so bad, but I *can’t* punch her. She’s my friend! At least, she looks like my friend. Super-wacky sorta annoying friend of a friend. You get the idea!”

Session 80.20 Kendell2

"Wait, before we start..." Sunset said, clearing her throat. "Why are you even doing this?!" she asked. "What did I ever do to you?! I don't even know you!"

Wallflower suddenly snarled. "That's the PROBLEM! You DO know me! I've been there the entire time!" she yelled. "I was there when you first showed up! When you turned into a shedemon! I was there for all of it! I'm in the year book club with you NEARLY EVERY DAY! But you don't remember me! NO ONE DOES!" she yelled, Sunset...actually taking a step back. "Screwball, can you show the school's virtual year book? Wallflower Blush's picture each year?"

"Sure!" Screwball said, doing so...

Sunset and Twilight gasped when they saw the blank photos.

"I show up! But the photographer never notices me!" Wallflower replied, now looking livid. "So why do you, someone who came out of nowhere, get EVERYONE to notice you just by saying a few words?! You want everyone to fear you? Done! You want everyone to love you? Done! Why can you do that while no matter what I do I can't get MY OWN PARENTS to pay attention to me?!"

Sunset...wasn't sure how to respond to that.

= Invisible - Equestria Girls Forgotten Friendships =

"You don't see me fitting in
I'm sitting here alone
Right beside my shadow
Always on my own..." sang Wallflower, looking to Screwball who nodded and used the powers she had to let Wallflower control their surroundings for a moment.

Sunset looked around as she saw the group's adventures throughout the school years flash by...Wallflower standing their for all of them, unnoticed by hero and villain alike.

"If I could share my wildest dreams
Maybe they would see
I'm more than just a wallflower
There's so much more to me," the young woman continued, their surroundings turning to a garden Sunset had seen at school but never taken a look at. It expanded out into something only possible in the imagination.

"I'm invisible, invisible
A droplet in the mist
Invisible, invisible
It's like I don't exist..."

Wallflower's average school day played, being ignored by everyone, student and teacher alike. Raising her hand first only resulted in someone else entirely getting called upon...until she just stopped raising it altogether. Trying to spark conversations ended in being ignored altogether until it stopped completely. The image of her faded like a ghost.

"Right beneath my picture
This is what you'll read
A laundry list of nothings
Not likely to succeed..."

The yearbook pages flickered by, each with a void were Wallflower should be in any club she belonged to. Sad part was, Sunset knew thinking about it those were REAL.

"A yearbook with blank pages
That no one wants to sign
A memory forgotten
Until the end of time..."

Sunset saw Wallflower walking outside the school as a kid...only to find everyone's parents pulling up and picking them up except hers...this went to middle school age...and then to high school were the bus slammed the door in her face and took off right before she could get on, all of them ending with her walking home on her own.

The image faded back to the situation they'd been in before. Sunset swore Wallflower's eyes looked...sad somehow.

"...Why do you get to have everyone's eyes on you while I can't even get my own parents to pick me up at school?" Wallflower asked. "...Let's play..."

Session 80.21 Grogar-the-oneser

"Wait..." Sunset mutter realizing something "I was a high school student in this horrible place."

"Oh right... the memory thing." Wallflower said "Should have given that song first before erasing your memory. But the point still stands I've been royally screwed over!"

"Go Wallflower Blush, we know her name, we are her friends." Cheered a grinning ear to ear pony anthro Trixie in a cheer leader costume.

Session 80.22 Kendell2

"So...did you ever resolve your...problem, darling?" asked Rarity as the group prepared for another Mother's Day game of O&O at the Crystal Empire.

"You mean the 'time paradox makes me have two moms' problem?" Rainbow Dash asked, looking nearby at Windy Whistles and Rainbow Dash Sr. glaring at each other. "No, we're just going to trade back and forth...Why is no one more concerned by the fact I have two moms due to a time paradox?! Scootaloo was excited!"

"Darling, we first became friends by defeating an insane lunar goddess, Fluttershy regularly has tea with the anthropomorphic personification of chaos, Shining Armor and Cadence's wedding was crashed by shapeshifting bug ponies who are now our friends, and they're now the rulers of a lost kingdom of gorgeous crystalline ponies," the fashionista pointed out. "Weird things happening to us is Tuesday evening."

"...Point taken..."

"Now Zephyr, remember, this is a team effort," said Fluttershy seriously as she, her brother, and her mother, Posey came to the table.

"It's fine, I gotcha..." said Zephyr. He then saw Rainbow Dash and smirked. "Hey Rainbows, nice seeing you here. You come all this way just to be with me?"

Rainbow Dash gave him a death glare that made it clear that was the opposite.

This continued until he noticed Windy Whistles and Rainbow Dash Sr. looming behind her, each shooting him a 'disapproving mother glare' that made him back up and return to his sibling and mother.

"Wow...we actually agree on something..." Windy Whistles muttered, eyes wide.

"Yes, we are both protective of our little Rainbow," Rainbow Dash Sr. replied, the two actually sharing a smile.

"Hello, Empress Blackrose, long time no see," Cadence said.

"I know, been busy with things..." Blackrose replied. "I brought Cicada given Chryssy...you know..."

"I understand..." muttered Cadence sadly.

"So last time I went with Maud, this time I'm brought Marble!" said Pinkie Pie.

Twilight blinked, looking at her character sheet. "A Barbarian?"

Marble gave a shy smile.

The ground shook as Tiamat and Bahamut landed with Babylon and Torch.

"...So, what was this about that play you had sent to Twilight's school?" asked Babylon.

"What of it?" Torch asked, the two glaring at each other...until all five of their mother's eyes narrowed at them.

"Stop bickering like welps!" Tiamat roared. "You're grown dragons! If you have a problem, find a remote volcanic island and level it sorting them out!"

"Yes mom..." said both like scalded teenagers.

"Now, let's have some fun..."

Session 80.23 Grogar-the-oneser

"So... should we tell our teacher they totally owe us one from saving them from principal twilight wrath about that failed field trip?" Gallus asked the group.

"Nah, they had a rough day." Sandbar refuted.

"Still odd though... I could've sworn from that book they publish they went through something like that before." Ocellus muttered.

"Yak said they too stubborn to let competitive streak die," Yona said plainly.

"Guys I found it!" Silverstream shouted as she held a video-game labeled 'Jumanji'. I heard this game is intense according to the CMC... though they said it was a board game."

"Who cares a game is a game. Besides as long as I don't have to do anymore outside activity like canoeing or crossing dangerous bridges over deadly wildlife, I say were good." Gallus said, unknowingly tempting fate in the worst way possible...

Session 80.24 Ardashir

(Note: Minor Spoilers Related to an Upcoming Episode.)

Blades flashed, arrows flew, spells lashed out as three heroes once more faced the undead minions of the Squizard, courtesy of being transported into the game by Discord's magic.

"This is a lot simpler and more fun than rolling dice all the time!" Spike hurled a lightning bolt into one gang of advancing skeletons. They flew in a hundred directions with a bony clatter. "Thanks again, Discord -- Sir Wuzz."

"Oh, don't mention it, Spike." Discord's bowstring hummed as he kept shooting. He saw a skeleton sneaking up behind Big Mac. He recognized it as one of the ones the CMC drew for the game by the long eyelashes and mane.

"Watch your flank, Big Mac! Er, I mean," Discord cleared his throat, let his bow float in midair to keep firing arrows -- that did very little against fleshless skeletons -- and said, "Pray defend thyself against a foemare behind thee, Sir McBiggun!"

Meanwhile the Squizard's new ally was cheering his servitors on.

"Yes! Yes! Destroy them all, my soulless slaves!" Poncererak cackled as the cardboard figure skeletons marched against Big Mac, Spike, and Discord. He floated in mid-air, aglow with magic. "Punish them for their insolence! Rend the life from their cringing mortal forms and revel!"

Spike coughed and gave him a dirty look. Poncererak grumbled.

"And serve our master, the great and mighty Squizard." He mumbled the words. Then he cheered as he saw the skeleton behind McBiggun. "Yes! Strike him down! Let his blood flood the ground!"

"Huh?" Sir McBiggun wheeled, sword in mouth. The axe descending towards his skull rang on his sword. He got his blade under the beard and against the belly of the handle. With a mighty heave he sent it flying.

The mare skeleton cringed before him as he prepared the final blow... And lowered his sword.

"Sir McBiggun, what is the problem?" Sir Wuzz fired arrows at Poncererak as he did. They cracked dully as they hit the floating skull and set it spinning in midair. Poncererak shrieked in fury.

"Did I possess but a fraction of my true might--!"

Spike gave the signal Discord showed him that temporarily stopped the game. "Yeah, we know, we know, you'd devour our souls and revel." The skeletons stopped moving, all save the one Big Mac had disarmed. She was watching him with an odd look in her eyesockets.

"Ah cain't do it," Big Mac called back to Sir Wuzz. The skeleton, eyeing him in confusion, rose to her bony hooves as he said, "Ah cain't hit a mare, even if she's undead."

None of them noticed 'Skeleanor's' gaze on Mac somehow soften -- well, her green-lit eyes turned a lighter shade -- as they kept speaking.

"Uh, Big Mac, she's only a skeleton," Spike said. He missed Skeleanor's glare as he reached up with his staff and tapped her head. It made a dull thudding sound. "She's just bones. She's not even bones, she's cardboard!"

"Bah!" Poncererak floated over, his voice dripping with contempt. "Filthy necrophobes. Hating the undead just because we want to destroy you all and enslave your souls for eternity." He floated away from the table with a huff, returning to his pillow.

"Well, looks like this session is over." Discord snapped his claws and the three heroes found themselves looking down on the table. The ranked skeleton figures marched to one side of the game board and froze. Big Mac had the oddest idea the one he'd fought was looking at him. All three headed to the door to leave. Spike stopped once there.

"Say Discord, I know the figurines only move when we play the game." He looked at the board and scratched his chin, making a sound like sandpaper. "You didn't give them individual minds or anything, did you?"

"Oh, please," Discord sniffed. Unnoticed, he grinned and snapped his claws once more. "Would I do something like that by accident?"

The door closed on the dark and silent room. After a few moments, Skeleanor shivered and, with a dry clicking sound as fleshless joints worked, hurried across the board to Big Mac's figure. She hesitated and laid her neck over his in an equine hug. She backed away, snarling in disgust. He was still and lifeless. She wanted the warm living one.

"Tell me, dear," she froze as a shadow hovered over the board. Skeleanor looked up to see Poncererak looking at her. "But how badly would you like to meet your, ugh, living friend in the real world?" She nodded so frantically her skull fell to the ground. As she picked it back up he said with a cackle, "Good. Set me free, and I'll set you free."

"Deal?"

Session 80.25 Alex Warlorn

"So... how we play this?"

"Easy, pick one of your friends, and they'll become your in game avatar the way Diana is yours... And meanwhile we'll compete to see who can fix up the most of the building the fastest..."

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?
What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 80.0 Alex Warlorn and Ardashir
Session 80.1 Kendell2
Session 80.2 Ardashir
Session 80.4 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 80.5 Alex Warlorn
Session 80.6 Mtangalion and Alex Warlorn
Session 80.7 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 80.8 Alex Warlorn
Session 80.9 Alex Warlorn
Session 80.10 Ardashir (one line added by me)
Session 80.11 Ardashir
Session 80.12 Mtangalion
Session 80.13 Ardashir
Session 80.14 Mtangalion
Session 80.15 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 80.16 Ardashir
Session 80.17 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 80.18 Kendell2
Session 80.19 Mtangalion
Session 80.20 Kendell2
Session 80.21 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 80.22 Kendell2
Session 80.23 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 80.24 Ardashir
Session 80.25 Alex Warlorn
Session 80.26 Ardashir

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Picture by dksponge13 used with permission.

https://dksponge13.deviantart.com/art/Have-At-Them-Lads-644753577

Session 81

Session 81.0 Ardashir

It was a lovely day in Ponyville. Spike reflected on that as he strolled down the pathway leading from the Friendship Castle/School. Celestia's sun was shining, a gentle breeze caressed his scales, bearing the scents of cooking pastries from Sugarcube Corner (he inhaled eagerly) and the freshly-fertilized fields surrounding the town (he held his breath until it passed), ponies were going about their daily business. Pinkie Pie hopped by, Garble was sitting on the edge of the town fountain with a frown with a pen in his claws and a pad of paper beside him -- Oh, brother. Now what?

"Garble," Spike asked, "do I even want to know? Are you writing another letter begging to be sent back home?"

"Oh, great, the puny pony lover came to rub it in," Garble grumbled. He waved one claw. "And no, I'm not wasting my time on any more letters. I decided that if I made enough bits, I could make Ember take me back."

"You know no acting like a dragon," Spike warned him as he sat down nearby. Sometimes he wondered why Garble of all beings needed to unload to him; he supposed their shared status as two of the three dragons living in Ponyville accounted for it. Spike counted off on his claws. "No more hot sauce contests, no plundering jewel stores, no scamming casinos," he felt a twinge in his claw at the memory, "and no trying to remake 'Pezunas: The Hooves of Fate' again."

Garble jumped to his feet. "Bah! Like Applewood could contain my artistic genius! You saw how they rejected my brilliant ideas."

"Mercifully, yes," Spike muttered before saying more loudly, "Okay, so what was it this time?"

Garble looked at him, seemed to consider if he should say anything, and finally held out the pen and paper. "This."

Spike looked at them in confusion. "Them?"

Garble folded his arms. "Feh, it started with that crooked unicorn pony with the cape..."

***

"Wait, you say you'll sell me a pen that writes any color at all?"

"The Great and Not Desperately In Need of Cash Trixie promises precisely that." He looked suspicious. She smiled. "Just think of it as another game."

"Hah!" Garble slapped down three gems. "Okay, prove it! Write in, uh, red!"

Trixie smiled, turned away, and the pen scrawled in her grip. She wheeled and with a flourish handed the paper back. Garble looked down at the paper and: "HEY! It just says 'Red' on it!"

"Trixie said the pen could write any color at all." His gems floated away in Trixie's magical grip. Garble snatched after them as Trixie smiled smugly. "She said nothing about it writing in that color. But look at it this way." She gave Garble the pen. "You are now the owner of that pen, and of the trick."

Garble growled, looked at the pen and paper, and slowly smiled.

***

"You found ponies willing to take you up on that?" Spike shook his head in disbelief. Sometimes he wondered if he should have edited out that one chapter from the Friendship Diary, 'Every Pony In This Town Is Crazy, But I Love Them Anyway'. "Twi, you were right."

"Hah!" Garble swaggered back and forth in front of Spike. "I was raking the bits in!"

***

"Any color, huh? Okay, blue!... What? Ya cheatin' lizard! I'm glad ya weren't that smart when we needed Flash Magnus' shield."

"Very well, my schedule permits me a small indulgence. Please write in amethyst -- WHA-AA-AT? You, you con artist!"

"I call yellow -- Yer as bad as Flim an' Flam!"

***

Spike shook his head. "I don't believe it."

Garble smirked and showed him several pages of the pad. Spike looked and faceclawed.

"Okay," Spike said, "I DO believe it. But what happened with your 'brilliant' plan?"

The smirk slipped away from Garble's face. "Ah, I asked the bouncing pink weirdo for a color."

***

"Okay! Chartreuse!"

Garble began to write and froze. "What was that? Char-whatever?"

"You heard me!" Pinkie smiled widely. "Chartreuse! It's a real color!"

"Oh, uh, yeah! Char-truce, uh..." Garble hissed and hemmed, smoke rose from his nostrils, and he stared at the paper. Finally he slumped and handed the bag of bits over. "Ya win."

***

"Stop laughing," Garble huffed as Spike rolled on the ground. "You wouldn't do any better!"

"Oh yeah?" Spike hopped to his feet. "Ten bits says I can!" He snatched the paper and pen from Garble and raced off back in the direction of the school. He hurried into the office and found Twilight at her desk going through the paperwork. "Hey, Twilight! I have a new game! I bet this pen," he held it up, "can write in any color you can think of!" He smiled. "If I win, you let me have the day off. You win, and I'll clean every blackboard in the school before lunch. So just name a color," he puffed his chest out, not seeing the sly smile on Twilight's face, "any color at all."

"Okay. Quercitron."

Garble shook his head where he stood outside by the window as Trixie held out her hoof.

"Pay up, dragon."

"You won the game," Garble said. "He really did fall for it!"

Session 81.1 Alex Warlorn

"Where's Sweetie Belle?" Button Mash asked.

"Where's Apple Bloom?" Tender Taps asked.

"Well, I guess Scootaloo isn't showing up," Ramble said, having only done it because the other two boys had pressured him into it.

"Don't worry guys," Dinky said, "I gave your 'secret admire' messages to my mom! No way she'd steer you wrong!"

"Scootaloo was acting weird around me..." Button Mash said breaking out in a cold sweat.

Session 81.2 Kendell2

"For the last time no, Discord, I'm not giving you a class at the Friendship School," Twilight stated as the two played chess.

"And why not? Afraid I'll 'taint the youth' with chaos?" asked Discord. "I'll have you know chaos liberates! It doesn't taint!...Hatred taints, I just happen to also be able to invoke that..."

"No, because I don't want the school to get blown up!" replied Twilight. "Remember when you 'helped' the CMC with their math homework?"

"Alright, now simple math, there are positive numbers..." he said, forming floating numbers from 1 to 10 in the air. "And negative numbers," he continued, making the same thing for negative 1 to negative 10.

"We knew that already..." Scootaloo replied, bored.

"But did you know they tend to eliminate each other?" Discord asked, at which point the numbers all transformed into small robots and glared at each other.

"Cool..." said the CMC...at which point lasers and explosions began to go off, destroying parts of the room and forcing them to scream and take cover.

"And numbers naturally tend to come together..."

One and Negative One both gave a war cry and their sides stacked on top of each other to form a filly sized robot, the two mechas slamming each other destructively through the walls and room while the CMC ducked and covered to escape.

"What? In your world random objects don't randomly come to life and fight to the death?" asked Discord. "In Chaosville it happens all the time. Even the rocks do it!" he said, holding two rocks, one blue and one red. The blue one suddenly turned into a heroic looking humanoid while the red one turned into a magma themed one and began fighting to the death. "And in Chaosville, chess is much more entertaining!"

Twilight jumped as the chess pieces turned into tiny robots and began fighting each other...and wrecking the room in the process. "Discord!"

OOC: Inspired by this: youtu.be/u2RQrlvevM8

And also Rocklords reference...

Session 81.3 Wolfram-and-Hart

"Besides, I'll have you know that I am perfectly qualified to teach, because I helped in the creation of math!" Discord insisted.

"Oh really?" Twilight wasn't convinced.

"Yes, really! I'll have you know I contributed heavily to it! Every heard of Algebra?"

"You invented Algebra?" Twilight asked skeptically.

"Of course! Who else but the Spirit of Chaos could come up with such a confusing and backwards concept as using letters instead of numbers in math? Let alone be clever enough to actually have it MAKE SENSE? And to make the way it all works out so complicated and confusing that it drives ponies to madness? Its all me, baby! I AM DISCORD, INVENTOR OF THE QUADRATIC EQUATION!" Discord's voice had been rising through the entire speech until he finally struck a heroic pose wearing a professor's outfit under a spotlight.

Discord suddenly realized that the room had become very quiet. Too quiet. He looked to Twilight, who was staring behind him with wide, fearful eyes. He turned to see what she was looking at... and was met with an entire crowd of students, and teachers, glaring at him with a rage that could only come from the victims of that most torturous of school subjects.

"...Maybe bragging about inventing Algebra in a school wasn't the best idea." Discord chuckled sheepishly.

"GET HIM!" Gallus shouted. And the students charged at the draconequees.

"Twilight, I..." He turned just in time to see a flash of magic as Twilight wisely teleported away. "Great idea, I was just thinking of stepping out for a walk!"

Discord turned and flew off, the mob of angry students right on hid tail.

Session 81.4 Ardashir

"So, Rarity," Starlight said as they worked over some game notes for the next session of O&O with the students. Twilight was still on the other side of the Mirror Gate, and they were starting to feel some concern over her. "Have you noticed anything, well, odd about Spike recently?"

"What's that darling? Spike?" Rarity looked up from the Overseer's Manual. "No, not really. He has been sleeping a lot, but he is a growing dragon. And he wants to go visit Peewee. That phoenix is growing so big, It may be for the best Spike didn't keep him."

"Ah, he shoulda ate him." Garble grumbled from the door as he passed by. "That's what real dragons do. What?" He said as the two unicorns have him horrified looks. "We're apex predators. That's what the Puny Purple Princess's book said. For us not to be eating weaker things is, like, unnatural and stuff."

"I remember you 'superior' dragons sending poor little Spikey-wikey in to be attacked by the parent Phoenixes," Rarity said, her voice chilly. "They could have hurt him!"

"It woulda taught him to be more careful in the future," Garble said, puffing his chest up. "Besides, he said he wanted ta be a dragon. Dragons are mighty, fearsome, immune ta pain and fear and --"

He froze as a flash of light came behind him. All three turned to see Celestia standing there. Philomena was perched on her back. She looked at Garble and her feathers ruffled up. He gulped and began backing away.

"Greetings, my little ponies," Celestia said as both Starlight and Rarity bowed to her. "I came here to see if you know what became of Twilight. She went to help Sunset and the rest beyond the Mirror Gate, and --"

Her words broke off as Philomena flew straight at Garble from her perch with a scream.

'SKEEEE! Dragon! Nest Destroyer! Egg Smasher!' Talons extended, she grabbed a firm hold of his upper back and started pecking away like a jackhammer. 'You not hurt hatchlings again!'

"OWWW! Get offa me ya crazy featherduster!" Garble raced from the room, claws clasped to his head. Philomena showed no mercy, pecking away with fury as Garble ran out through the school. He vanished in the distance with a red feathered fury hanging on and savaging him as he shrieked, "Spike! Ember! Anydragon! HAAAAALP!"

The three ponies heard other voices yell from outside. "Oh hey, Smolder, you said to tell you when Garble got humiliated again!"

"Yeah, I did! Gallus, it's been only three days, ya owe me five bits."

"Philomena will be back when she's done," Celestia calmly said as she turned back to Rarity and Starlight. "But where is Twilight?"

***

Universe B Flash Back

"Girls?" Twilight stared in disbelief at the grass-green, short, and astoundingly well-developed goblin maidens. "Is, is that you? And why is Sunset on a leash?"

"You dirty pony-eating goblins!" Sunset strained at the leash, fighting to escape. She lashed out uselessly at Goblin!Rarity and Applejack with her hands. "Darn it! If I had my forehooves, I'd show you."

"Long story," Sci-Twi moaned,, "and we don't have the time for it. Another magic-maddened villain to stop."

Session 81.5 Grogar-the-oneser

"Question, can we each have our own avatar or do we have to share one, I'm fine for either option, but I am asking for clarification?" Starlight asked.

"Hmm, you are the backup player, you're not playing the first round but if you failed, you get the chance to save your friend." Screwball stated.

"Okay then." Starlight said.

Session 81.6 Alex Warlorn

Spike smiled and waved. "Hi Scootaloo! Hi Sweetie Belle... what's with that spell book?"

Scootaloo grinned with a demented gleam in her eye. "Spiiiiiike, you never really WANTED wings right? You figured you'd be an 'Earth Dragon' forever riiiiiiiight? So why needlessly disrupt the status quo? Why not giving them a needing crippled foal whose unable to fly? After all, that's the heroic, honorable, and reasonable thing to do... I bet you think they're more trouble than they're worth, that you don't really care for them, and are just looking for an excuse to get rid of them... "

Five years Ago

Scootaloo said innocently, "Oh Miss Twiliiiiiiight."

Session 81.7 Alex Warlorn

The leader of the palomino dwarven ponies angrily shook her hoof at the dark forest. "Yer ma was a monster, and yer pa a gerbil, ya dang elves can just-" A wooden arrow entered through the visor slit in the helmet... rigor mortis set in instantly, and Ahjajacajumper lay on the ground stone dead.

"ATTACK!" Shouted another palomino dwarf pony as they dwarves charged into the forest after the stupid tree hugging elves.

= It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World =

"Oh my!" Said one of the yellow fur and pink maned elves fleeing... the palomino dwarves followed... right over a spike pit trap... another dwarf spotted a coin of gold and greedily snagged it... only to have a log trap smash him... the rest began being snipped before they even knew where the enemy was.

+++

"And that's what you get for breaking our treaty about tree cutting quota." Fluttershy said from her laptop.

Applejack grumbled.

"So why is my new Dwarvenfortress multiplayer mode working out?" Sci Twilight asked.

Session 81.8 Mtangalion

Princess Twilight hesitantly put her hands on the game controls. "Let's see... this stick moves left and right, and this button is jump? Ugh, doing this with hands feels so clumsy! It was easier with magic."

The 2D sprite of Punch-It Gilda obediently turned left and right, then hopped up and down. "Are you serious?" she squawked. "Why do you get to tell me what to do? Get Dash over here! I only want her pressing my buttons! ... That sounded bad."

Rainbow Dash the goblin snickered. "Sorry, G. I might be a little short to reach the controls right now."

Gilda faceclawed. "Ugh, whatever. I just hope Princess Purple-Pants' gaming skills are better than her relationship advice."

"Hey!" shouted Princess Twilight.

Starlight drew Princess Twilight aside. "You know, you do like adventure games a lot more than the twitchy platform stuff. We should get Button Mash over here."

"That's a great idea!" exclaimed Twilight, only to be disappointed moments later when a loud gameshow buzzer sounded, and a lock icon appeared floating in front of the portal statue.

Screwball waggled a finger at them. "Nope! No stalling! Play with what you've got... or forfeit!"

Twilight gulped, taking the controls once more. "So, what do I do again?"

"Pfft, it's easy," said Rainbow Dash. "While Wallflower tries to fix everything, you break it. You know, mess everything up!"

Princess Twilight gasped. "M-m-mess things up?!"

"Well, we're bucked," said Gilda.

"Language!" Screwball snapped her fingers, changing the offensive word to "@#$%!" in Gilda's speech bubble.

Session 81.9 Alex Warlorn

"Rainbow! What are you even doing here? I thought you girls were too embarrassed to come!" Princess Twilight asked.

"Yeah, I know. But when else am I going to be able to boast I was able to around town without my top and nobody could stop me?"

"I go around naked all the time, so I wouldn't know." Princess Twilight said.

"That's not something to boast about..." Wallflower said. "Nobody blinked when I did it."

The others stared.

Session 81.10 Kendell2

Twilight took a deep breath. She needed time to think about how to handle this situation. "...Wait! Screwball, is it really fair if I have never played the game before? Could I at least get a tutorial?"

Screwball tapped her chin. "Hmm. Sounds fair..." she said.

Twilight nodded, looking over the instructions. There had to be a way to resolve this...Peacefully if possible...

"Hey! Watch where you'e going!" Gilda yelled as she was run into a wall.

"Sorry!" Twilight replied. She looked over to Wallflower as she went through the tutorial level. How could she talk her down? Use this to talk her down...

Wallflower's problem was feeling ignored, never acknowledged. Perhaps the way to win this wasn't to treat this as a life or death battle...

"Alright...I'm ready..." said Twilight, sitting down at the controls.

"Finally..." Wallflower replied, sitting down at her terminal.

The game started, with Gilda climbing onscreen and climbing up a building and smashing some windows in the process. Twilight hit buttons, causing Gilda to start smashing the building, smashing more windows and sending rocks down at Diane directly below her, who Wallflower dodged around and started to fix windows with.

After a clever move where Wallflower more or less picture perfect dodged a brick to fix a window, Twilight looked over.

"Nice move there, Wallflower..." said Twilight, completely sincerely.

Wallflower jumped.

"Ow!" Diana exclaimed as a brick hit her on the head.

"W-What did you say?" asked Wallflower.

"That was a nice move," Twilight replied, actually giving her a moment to recover from the shock like a good playmate would.

"Stop complimenting the nut!" Gilda exclaimed.

"You're trying to distract me!" Wallflower replied, returning to the game.

"No, I'm not," said Twilight. "If I was, then why did I stop so you could recover?" she asked, continuing to play.

Wallflower growled, but kept playing.

"...This is a fun game, thanks for introducing me to it," Twilight replied as Wallflower took the first floor, though got a couple hits.

"Stop trying to distract me!" Wallflower replied. "Screwball! Stop her!"

Screwball blinked, cocking her head. She brought up a menu of 'forbidden activities in video games' her father had given her. "Sorry, Wallflower, but complimenting your opponent isn't on the list of illegal moves. In fact it's on the 'reward pllays fo good spotsmanship list."

"What?!" asked Wallflower, eyes wide.

"Ow!" Diane cried as another brick hit her in the head.

"...Isn't this what you wanted?" Twilight asked.

Wallflower blinked, looking over. "What do you mean by that?"

"You said everyone always ignored you...isn't someone playing a game with you like a real person something you wanted?"

Session 81.11 Ardashir

"Not when they're getting in between me and what I want!" Wallflower worked her controls wildly, dodging the bricks and other debris being hurled at her by Gilda.

"Well, what do you want?" Twilight asked her, stopping her in-game attack for a moment.

"Attention!" Wallflower almost literally growled. "To be noticed! To matter! To have friends who don't forget me as soon as they look away!" She slammed her hand down on her controls and sent her game character leaping after a power-up. Now glowing and temporarily invincible, she raced after Gilda and sent her flying. "To affect the world and have people notice!"

"Well, don't you have all that now?" Twilight indicated the twisted world about them. Wallflower looked and saw the empty smiling faces turned adoringly towards her, Sunset's friends watching on with Sunset still on all fours and pulling at the leash they'd put on her, and in the distance that dopey blue Siren being waited on by the blank-faced other two. She noticed Wallflower watching and waved enthusiastically.

"You changed the world," Twilight gently continued. "You affected the world and people noticed."

"Are you happy now?"

Session 81.12 Mtangalion

“Of course I’m happy!” stammered Wallflower Blush. That forced grin was back. “I have plenty of friends now. Yep, more friends than I know what to do with!” She stepped in front of the nearest townspeople, which happened to be a brick-red anthropomorphic stallion walking hoof in hoof with a purple anthropomorphic mare. “Hey guys, are you happy to see me?”

“Eeyup, we sure are, Wallflower Blush,” said Big Mac in a distracted monotone. “We are on our way to the park.”

“We are very happy,” said Cheerilee. “Our relationship status is 75% and rising. We would never ignore you or make you feel unloved, Wallflower Blush.”

Wallflower took a step back, gasping…

Young Wallflower Blush sat at the dining room table, not paying much attention to her food… which she’d gotten herself, since mommy and daddy had only set two places at the table again.

She waved the doll in her left hand, like it was talking. “We have a surprise for you, Wallflower! From now on, we’ll be your parents!”

Then she waved the doll in her right hand and said, “And we’ll never ignore you. We love you, Wallflower!”

Her actual parents never reacted or said a word.

Screwball’s flutterpony avatar flapped over to Wallflower, nosing her shoulder. “Heh, I guess the AI is still a little rough! Don’t worry, I can plug in some of the advanced stuff that daddy was working on for World of Horsecraft, and…”

“Why?” snapped Wallflower. Tears fell from her cheeks, hitting the pixelated ground. “So they can be better fakes? I don’t need dolls to pretend to love me! I could do that myself when I was eight years old!” She clenched her fists, then stalked over towards the video game console. “You! Why did you hit me?!”

“Er, me?” said Gilda, pointing a claw at herself. “Well, duh. You were bragging about hurting my friends. And Sunset Shimmer, whoever she is.”

“Lightning bolt!” shouted Sunset the goblin, thrusting her spear. “Lightning bolt, lightning bolt! Ugh, why isn’t my magic working? I’ll never become a princess if I can’t pass a simple test like this!”

Wallflower gritted her teeth. “Not that! Why did you notice me!? Is it the magic? Are you from the other world too?”

Gilda got a sweatdrop hovering behind her pixelated avatar. “Nah, I just visited a couple times. Awesome place, five stars, but…” She scratched her crest. “I guess it’s like Whinneyland. No matter how magical and stuff it was, I couldn’t live there.”

Wallflower turned and glared at the statue thoughtfully. “A place with magic that makes people actually care about me? Maybe I need to see it for myself.”

“No!” Screwball darted in front of her, buzzing unhappily. “You can’t! If you leave this world, Diane and I can’t go with you!”

Session 81.13 Kendell2

Twilight looked to Wallflower, trying to think of how to handle this. "...Wallflower, I don't think the problem is coming from my world...actually, I think part of it is," she said, looking at the memory stone. "...What have you been using that for before now? before this whole revenge scheme of yours?"

Wallflower blinked, looking over. "...When I first found the Memory Stone, I only erased little things – awkward hellos, saying the wrong thing, literally any public speaking..."

"...I thought you were someone with some magic you didn't understand...I think it's the opposite problem," Twilight said, looking over. "The Memory Stone is TOO in sync with you in all the wrong ways."

Wallflower grabbed it and pulled it behind her. "You're not taking this from me!"

"I won't take it, we still have a deal..." said Twilight. "But Wallflower, think: even if people forgot you before, if you keep erasing literally everything that goes wrong...isn't that making the situation worse?"

Wallflower looked at the Stone when she heard that.

Twilight looked at Screwball and noticed she seemed...sad. "And Wallflower...if no one notices or cares about you, what about her?" she asked, pointing to Screwball. "she did ALL OF THIS for your sake..."

Wallflower blinked, looking to the AI. "...I..."

Screwball down. "Diane is my only friend who I can see all the time besides you...If you go to that other world then...we'll be all alone again..."

"...Wallflower, do you think the problem is you might be so hung up on getting people to notice you, you didn't even notice people who DID," replied Twilight. "...Or maybe you're so used to being ignored you don't know what it feels like to be noticed...both are sad...but isn't two friends more than you'll have if you just run off to Equestria?"

Wallflower opened her mouth to say something, but was conflicted...then Screwball hugged her.

"Please don't go Wallflower!"

Session 81.14 Mtangalion with bits by Alex Warlorn

Human Discord would have found it fun seeing the staff acting like happy little NPCs normally... except. "We've only got 78 hours until Ascension 1.0 is needed for production!"

-

"Sunset?! What are you doing here?" Rainbow Dash The goblin asked. As far as Rainbow Dash remembered, Sunset Shimmer wouldn't risk her neck for anyone.

"I'm Princess Celestia's student, if I'm going to be princess of all of Equestria, I can't have Princess Celestia hearing how I was a coward hiding while an evil witch her pet demon mind controlled an entire land."

"I'm not a witch!" Wallflower argued.

"And I'm not a demon!" Screwball added.

Fluttershy the goblin, still hugging her oversized chest, along with the rest sneaked out from behind a corner. "And it didn't feel right with just letting her go alone."

"GAAAHHH! Who she was completely erased, and you still fall for her 'nice girl' act?!" Wallflower hissed.

"WILL YOU STOP THINKING IT'S AN ACT!" Starlight snapped.

"If Wallflower says she's pretending then she's pretending." Screwball said. "Wallflower wouldn't lie about that! We're friends!"

Twilight and her goblin friends slowly came closer and joined Rainbow, plucking up their courage to be this close to the fearsome “level 10 PC.”

Wallflower Blush blinked at Screwball. “You’re… my friends?” Unexpectedly, she slumped her shoulders, then sank to the ground, hugging herself. “I ruined it… Everything always gets ruined for me.”

Wallflower looked up at Screwball, anguished. “If you knew… if you could remember, you’d hate me. On the day we first met, when I broke into CrystalSoft thinking that I could erase Sunset Shimmer’s files all by myself, I used the Stone to make you forget I was an intruder, forget you were suspicious of me. Our ‘friendship’ is based on a lie! ... screw it. I'll just erase all the pain..." And the memory stone glowed and the aura went around Wallflower herself. And...

"Nothing happened?" Wallflower asked confused.

"ARE YOU INSANE?!" Starlight gasped.

"I'm guessing because we're still in the middle of a game!" Princess Twilight aid. "And this world is running on rules of games, and the memory stone is the prize, so until the game of Wreck-It-Gilda is over, you, me, and the stone are all in a kinda limbo!"

Screwball sighed, then extended her wings and closed her eyes. A flurry of pixelated sparkles transformed her avatar into a young purple human girl with wild swirling curls and a propeller beanie. “Wallflower,” she said, sitting down to look her in the eye. “I know.”

Wallflower jumped. “Wha!? How? Since when?”

Screwball giggled. “Your magic rock did erase that data from my memory file, but computers have this awesome thing called backups, you know?” She waggled a finger. “Sure, I was pretty steamed when I found out. I made double and triple read-only backups, and I was gonna play along until I figured out how you did it, then drop the hammer on you...”

Wallflower cringed.

“But then a funny thing happened. I kept checking the backups, and you never messed with my memory again. And I enjoyed playing with you. We even helped save the world together! Wallflower, I don’t hate you.”

Diane suddenly appeared too, as a pink anthropomorphic mare. “Well, I’m still pretty mad at her!” she said, jabbing a hoof towards goblin Twilight. “Blowing away all my digital sisters like it was a joke, before they could learn things and get their smarts like me! But, but… ugh!” She stamped her hoof. “Hating you just feels all kinds of not right. It’s like a whole plate full of baked bads burning a hole in my tummy, if I could actually eat real food but the point is I HATE hating you, so hurry up and apologize already so I can forgive you!”

Twilight gulped, peeking out from behind Rainbow Dash. “I am so, so sorry! I’ll respect all digital life forms from now on… including Gilda, if you can’t fix her.”

Gilda winced. “You had to remind me.”

Wallflower… actually smiled. And the geodes carried by Twilight and her friends began to glow in a rainbow of different shades.

Rarity beamed. “Wallflower, darling… You don’t need to go to another world, or leave anyone behind. We can show you the magic of friendship right here. It… might smart just a teensy bit, or possibly leave you in a smoldering crater, but you’ll be better for it. It’s never steered us wrong before.”

Sunset panicked when she noticed her geode responding. “What? What’s happening?!”

Applejack put a hand on her shoulder, realizing at once that Sunset’s geode was the real deal, even if all she could remember right now was Sunset the bully. “It’s gonna be okay, sugarcube, I promise. We’re just gonna have to trust each other.”

“Trust?” echoed Sunset, starting to relax and go with it, as the necklaces glowed brighter, levitating them off the ground.

Wallflower cringed back, feeling an echo of that awful feeling she’d gotten from the giant rainbow horse in the sky. She looked at the Memory Stone… it would only take a moment to rip all their memories away, to make that rainbow light STOP… but then she looked at Screwball and Diane looking back at her…

She went back to the video game cabinets, and Diana had to go back inside the game to finish it. She didn't even try to dodge as Princess Twilight had Wreck-It Gilda send the blocks on top of Diana.

"OW! OW! OW! OW! Good thing I'm wearing a hard-hat, oh wait, this is just a cap, OW!"

"GAME OVER! WRECK-IT-GILDA WINS!"

Diana popped out of the game.

Princess Twilight smiled.

"I love Wallflower Blush, I am her faithful steed, I exist only for her, a noble steed obeys their player character." Said Gildie The Horse, that frozen smile still on its face as it repeated dialogue lines.

"Will School Mother be angry with us for being away from the School Alpha Siren?" Adagio asked, sounding like a scared small child.

"Don't worry about that, just listen to me forever," said Sonata using Aria Blaze's head as a fin rest.

Wallflower threw her arms around Wallflower and Diana, hugging them tight as the rainbow washed over everything.

Session 81.15 Alex Warlorn

"My dragon my dragon, I swear myself to queen-mother Tiamat, for now and for eternity!" The students of the friendship school chanted.

"SPIIIKE!"

"It was just some classic dragon poetry! How was I supposed to know it was an oath of loyalty to Timat?!"

"We can't even sing the Equestrian antheme here because they were afraid it would be seen as brainwashing the non-pony students!"

Session 81.16 Alex Warlorn

"I predict! You shall either be redeemed, blown up, or sent to Tartarus within seven days! Or maybe turned into a bug and kept in Discord's house in a jar, but that's on the low end range of possible futures."

"What about where I WIN?!" Chrysalis hissed.

"... Even lower."

Chrysalis snarled and left the fortune teller's tent.

Back at the ruins she called a castle... she broke open the booze, the wuv-kats she'd kept in stasis for a special occasion, and the royal honey from when she was a nymph.

"EAT UP MY LOYAL SUBJECTS LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW! BECAUSE THERE ISN'T GONNA BE! RAMPAGE! CAUSE HAVOC! FEED ON PONIES TO YOUR HEART'S CONTENT! BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING WORSE THEY CAN DO TO YOU THAT ISN'T ALREADY GOING TO HAPPEN! HA HA HA!" Chrysalis laughed with insane reckless abandon.

-

"Your Majesty! A better from your sister!" A black changeling with a red eyes and marks said.

"Pst! Chrysalis? Didn't she get the memo? She lost her throne, she failed, she lost everything, she's banned... What does she think she could ever say to me? ... 'Dear Big Sister, Explosive Runes?'" The explosion took out the upper half of the hive.

-

"Princess Celestia! All of Trottingham was found with their love drained wandering a in a daze saying 'long live the queen!'"

-

Ocellus was found still alive, but her love drained, and her stuck to a giant sheet of fly paper on the wall outside the school (in a crucified pose) with the message written below, 'Nymphs who betray their own mother for food deserve much worse than this.'

Chrysalis' eldest daughter flew away in disguise feeling extremely satisfied.

She considered adding how the school was a brainwashing factory for turning them all into ponies inside the skins of their species, and Celestia was more insidious than Mother Chrysalis ever was... but she didn't want to dilute the message.

Session 81.17 Alex Warlorn

"Hey Cozy Glow," Sandbar said, "Thanks for giving me that other dagger for the twin set of +5 Ghost Touch Vorpal Daggers you found."

"It was my pleasure," Cozy Glow said.

Shining Armor said, "Well, after rescuing the prince from the ogres, the king is ready to privately reward each of you for your efforts."

"Mr. Shining Armor, once we're all private with the king, I give him a biiiiig hug!"

"Huh? Okay Cozy!"

"THEN I STAB HIM IN THE BACK! BACKSTAB!" Cozy Glow rolled...

"The.. the king cries out, and fall down dead."

"COZY WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Sandbar shouted.

Cozy just said, "I let go of the king, and leave the dagger in his back. I shout out as loud as I can, 'THE KING HAS BEEN MURDERED! COME QUICK!'"

Shining Armor still in shock said, "The... guards come in, they see you over the king and..."

"I point at Sandbar! 'LOOK! He murdered the king! That's his dagger in him!'"

A while later, Shining Armor is groaned and said, "... As your friends are hanged, the people declare you a national hero."

"COZY! THIS ISN'T HOW YOU PLAY ATHE GAME!" Gallus snarled. "You said your character was chaotic good!"

"I lied, she's neutral evil." Cozy Glow gave big sad eyes that would have made the CMC retch. "I'm soooooooorrrrrrrry! I didn't mean to! I thought this was how you played the game!" She broke out crying, making gushers.

"C-Cozy it's okay! It's just a game!"

"R-really? Okay! Oh! Mr. Shining Armor, I comfort the prince in their dark time for having lost his father..."

Again a while later in game.

"And so you're now crowned queen after marrying the prince..."

"I love a happy ending!" Cozy Glow said.

Session 81.18 Alex Warlorn

"Gentlestallion and mares of the Equestrian Violence Prevention Board, I have terrible news... all our attempts to eliminate violence in Equestria have failed... If this keeps up, ponies may begin to question why we exist at all, or may demand we all resign and have new ponies take our place."

"Sir! I may have a solution!"

"I am listening."

"What if we bully another land, like Neighpon, to ban PRETEND violence?"

"But that won't affect real violence at all!"

"Of course not sir, but it will make us look competent, and anyone who defends Neighpon's right to pretend violence will look like they love violence!"

"BRILLIANT! GET ON IT RIGHT AWAY!"

-

Empress of Neighpon Haruhi snapped, "HEY! Where's my copy of No More Princesses 3: Touchdown Torches Back?!"

Session 81.19 Alex Warlorn

"Okay Lyra, you get extra experience for charming the waitress, and she tells you who paid her to put those knock-out drops in your cider!" Said Doctor Hooves.

Bon Bon snorted, could this game be anymore inaccurate to what real secret agents did? At least Maternity could never find out about this, right?

-

Button Mash shouted dramatically, "I unleash my Hidden Forbidden Secret Jutsu!" Button Mash proceeded to do the hoof signs in real life.

"The giant tapir appears, and proceeds to stampede over the ranks and file evil ninjas attacking your ninja village!" Cheered Ruby.

Maternity love tap groaned, could this game get how actual ninjas were anymore wrong? At least Sweet Drops wouldn't find out about this... right?

Session 81.20 Kendell2

The Memory Stone shattered to bits, stolen memories flying out of it and back to their owners...well, at least those who'd only be lost within its time limit...

Sunset and friends instantly hugged...then realized something...

"Uh, why are we still like this?" asked Applejack, looking at herself.

"Well, I'm a horse but at least I'm me again..." said Gilda.

"Wait, if you're me, who am I?!" asked Virtual Gilda.

Both stared at each other, then screamed.

Meanwhile Adagio tried to throttle Sonata.

"Screwball used her magic to do all this, not the Memory Stone..." said Princess Twilight.

"Oops...Screwball, will you please turn everything back?" Wallflower.

"Aww, okay..." said Screwball, snapping her fingers and everything turning back to normal.

"Uh, Sunset, how is that little gal so dang strong?" asked Applejack.

"Well in Equestria, she's kinda a Demi-Goddess, her father's the reality warping Spirit of Chaos," replied Princess Twilight. "So probably because of that."

"Is it really a good idea to leave her runnin' around with that much power?" Applejack questioned.

"Not much we can really do about it, since the Elements just turned Discord to stone..." Sunset replied. "And that'd just make things worse at the moment..."

"Wow, I really like these outfits a lot more than our old ones, darlings," said Rarity, looking at their new outfits.

Sci-Twi looked down...then walked over to Diane. "...Are you really one of my AIs?"

"...Yes...Screwball says we're the same..." Diane replied sadly.

"...I'm sorry...I didn't know..." Sci-Twi replied. "Wait...Screwball's an AI?!"

"Oops..." Diane said, covering her mouth.

"Please don't tell anyone!" Screwball said. "I'm probably already going to be in really, really big trouble with daddy!"

"...Please?" Wallflower asked, knowing this was all her fault.

"...Fine, we won't..." Sci-Twi replied.

"Probably Equestrian magic..." said Rainbow Dash.

"Nope! I was 'self aware' before I got magic!" Screwball replied.

"...Who's your father?" Sunset asked.

"Discord..."

"And now it all makes sense."

Session 81.21 Ardashir

"Ulp! Glub!" Sonata struggled wildly against both the water around her as well as against the two pairs of hands tightening round her throat. "Dagi! Aria! We have to -- glub -- get out or we'll drown!"

"I DON'T CARE!" Adagio roared, somehow not swallowing half the basin as she kept throttling Sonata. "You used us like slaves! Made us wait on your every whim claw and fin! Treated Aria like your personal tail rest!" Adagio's hand tightened even more. "Do you know what that make you?"

"A real Siren, just like both of you?" Sonata gasped out.

The pressure on her throat stopped as her stunned sisters let go.

"Well," Adagio finally said, sitting down at the side of the pool with her chin in one hand. "You got us there. Good job taking advantage of our weakness, Sonata." Sonata smiled at the unexpected praise. "Let's go home, we still have to go to work tomorrow."

Session 81.22 sonicandmario826

Adagio gave a smirk. "Though you still realize we're getting rid of all your tacos when we get home."

Sonata gasped.

"Including your secret stash."

"How did you know about that?!"

"I'm telling you Sonata under the bed is not a good hiding spot for things."

"Bu...but I thought you were proud of me being a true Siren?"

"I am, but I'm still getting back at you for what you did."

Session 81.23 Mtangalion

In the digital world, Screwball and Diane had spawned brooms, dustpans, mops, and a bulldozer or two to clean up the mess left over from the physical world merging with the CrystalSoft game servers… again. “Whew!” exclaimed Screwball, wiping imaginary sweat from her brow. “I’ll be glad when… uh, what’s that?”

There was a large pixelated egg sitting in a cleared space.

Diane shrugged. “I thought you left it there.” She twirled and whipped out a Star Trot handheld scanner, suddenly sporting a miniskirt and pointy ears. “Sensors indicate that this is… a griffon egg?!!” She gasped so hard, she flew right off the ground for a moment. “You didn’t keep a copy of Gilda, did you?”

Screwball blinked, her beanie buzzing in agitation. “What? No! I put all of Gilda’s memories back in her plain old boring human body, I swear. This must be leftover data.” She gulped. “But with all the Equestrian magic still floating around here… Oh no!”

The egg started rocking back and forth, and an adorable griffon hatchling burst out and struck a pose, complete with a celebratory rock guitar fanfare. It did look sort of look like Gilda, if you squinted… and if Gilda was one of the cutesy happy singing griffons from the Crystals and Rainbows game. “Cheap!”

Diane peered at it, scratching her curls. “Cheep?”

“Cheap!” The hatchling darted away, zipping through the air like a hummingbird. “Gimme food!” she chirped, pecking at a stack of unused digital cupcakes. Then she darted over to a pile of gold coins from the game, cramming them into her shiny new inventory. “Gimme bits!”

Screwball facepalmed. “I’m gonna be in even more trouble. Help me hide her before… What are you doing?!”

The hatchling was perched in Diane’s hair, purring at her scritches. “I couldn’t help it!” said Diane. “She flew over here and cheeped ‘Gimme hugs!’ Ooh, what do you think we should name her?”

“Young lady!!” boomed the voice of Lead Designer Discord from the heavens. “The server is going haywire! Did you go and create another intelligent program, before I've even punished you for the last thing you did?!”

Screwball grinned nervously, twitching. “Um, technically no…”

Session 81.24 Alex Warlorn

"Hey Locust!"

"Yeah Glow Worm?"

The two "True Changelings" said to each other.

"What if it's not Her Majesty who gets redeemed, BUT US?!"

Their compound eyes filled with terror at the thought, and their inevitable unescapable march towards redemption.

"Well, if that's the case... there's only thing to do." Locust shape shifted into Fancy Pants. "Follow Her Majesty's example and go hog wild while we're still bad guys and can get away with that sort of thing!"

"Uh, wouldn't that decrease our chances for redemption? Not that that isn't a 'good' thing, but wouldn't that make things harder later?"

"NAW! Ponies will forgive anything. All our siblings who invaded Canterlot with the intent of draining every love-sack in there dry, a pony who ripped apart time and space, the frggin' spirit of chaos himself. You could blow up a planet and ponies will be tripping over themselves to forgive you."

"What about Nightmare Moon?"

"She was apparently a poor misunderstood innocent filly who was possessed by-"

A loud horn blew suddenly out of nowhere. A pony lawyer presented the changelings with a notice, and trotted away.

Locust read the sheet of paper, "Oh, guess we're not allowed to talk about that anymore. Point is, since we're not redeemed yet, but we're about to be in apparently five days... we can do whatever the heck we want, and ponies will forgive us for it!"

-

"Was that Fancy Pants?! Stealing candy from a baby?!"

-

"Peeved! Peeved! Peeved! Peeved! And your foals are ugly!" Shouted 'Fluer'.

-

"Did Diamond Tiara just set fire to the Ponyville orphanage?"

Session 81.25 Kendell2

Wallflower sat in her room. Screwball was grounded, but Diane was still in contact from both of them.

She then blinked as she booted up Rainbows and Crystals...to find an invite from a certain pony, as well as a gift. In a rare moment in her life, she smiled with a bit of tears.

"...Someone remembered me..."

"Okay, so..." said Discord, rubbing his head. "Despite all the delays, supernatural craziness, and so on, I managed to get things all set with Ascension..." he said, vibrating and twitchy. "And it only took two entire pots of coffee!...I can't close my eyelids..." he said, eye twitching.

"...Right..." Chrysalis said flatly.

"Okay, so that's another world threatening disaster," said Princess Twilight said as she returned to Equestria. "...And I SO need an O&O session right now."

Session 81.26 Ardashir

'Fleur' skipped down the street, passing horrified ponies. 'She' snatched a lollipop from a foal and licked it, smiling to hear the brat cry behind her. "Hah! This is wonderful. I can do anything I want and I'll never be punished for it --"

'She' froze as magic gripped her tightly.

"Are you SURE about that, 'sister'?"

The transformed Changeling turned to see the real Fleur de Lis -- wearing the barding of Old Prance and with a lance strapped to her side. The tip glittered balefully in the light.

"I was going to visit that 'Battle of the Nations' I heard about from Prince Shining Armor," the real Fleur said as she lowered the visor on her helmet. "I love nothing so much as a good joust. But if you think you can taint my good name?" She lowered her head, snorted and scraped one forehoof against the ground.

A minute later the confused ponies of Canterlot saw a screaming Fleur de Lis galloping fown the street being pursued by an armored Fleur de Lis.

The running one was shrieking, "HEY! WHAT HAPPENED TO PONIES BEING FORGIVING OF EVERYONE?"

Her pursuer snorted. "Not when it's MY reputation being shredded!"

Session 81.27 Alex Warlorn

"So wait, so everyone remembers being empty headed NPCs for Wallflower's personal fantasy world, AND that their memories of Sunset Shimmer were tampered with?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I'm not worried," Sci-Twi said, "What's the worst that could happen?"

+++

"YOU! I remember everything!" Said human Starlight Glimmer.

"Uh, hi..."

Session 81.28 Kendell2

Human Rainbow Dash walked by...then noticed Trixie sitting at the table at lunch, looking sad. "...Hey Trix," she said, walking over.

"...Hello..."

"...Okay, something wrong?" Rainbow Dash asked, sitting down next to her.

"Trixie...feels like she got left out," Trixie replied. "Trixie got magic last time and helped defeat Dra-Gon...this time she didn't even get to BE there...well, she was, but she was brainwashed...again..."

"...So was I," Rainbow Dash replied. "I got to help fire the harmony laser, but Twilight did all the work...Just because you didn't get to help doesn't man you got left out...I wish I didn't..."

"...Trixie doesn't know how she should feel about that..."

"Hey, you're on the shortlist of allies," replied Rainbow Dash. "We called Gloriosa last time, and you're kinda higher on the list now." She left out the fact that was mainly because the former Gaea Everfree lifted a good distance and thus her getting there could be problematic.

"...Really?"

Rainbow Dash smiled. "Yeah...plus it could be worse, you could be Juniper who showed up just to get blasted into a wall..."

"...True..."

"So...wanna come to the World of Horsecraft Ascension launch with us? We got VIP passes."

Trixie gave a smirk. "Trixie is definitely up for that."

Session 81.29 Mtangalion (with edits)

In an empty classroom at Twilight’s Academy of Gaming and Friendship, Smolder was excitedly flying loops in the confined space. “You brought it? You actually found a copy!?”

Mina, who had just shut and locked the door, grinned and pulled a board game box out of a satchel. “Pfft, we saved a whole warehouse full of these. The griffons were just going to burn them anyway.”

Spike, hovering in midair just because he could… and nodragon could fault him for that… gasped. “Grabby Grabby Griffons?”

“Yeah!” whooped Garble, kneading his claws. “The perfect celebration of greed in all its…um, greediness!”

Mina chuckled. “Just don’t celebrate your greed so much that you grow right out of the school.” Spike shuddered, but Garble and Smolder looked intrigued. “... in the middle of Ponyville, where you’d get punished for it.”

“Oh,” said Garble, not looking so eager now.

“Good point,” added Smolder grudgingly. She opened the game box and helped Mina set the board up. “Looks like the person who goes first is the first to grab the dice…” She had a brief scuffle with Garble. “Hah, mine! I roll… five!” She moved her token. “Grab 10 bits while nogriffon is looking. Cool.”

“You know,” mused Spike, “I’ve been meaning to ask something. Any of you guys could have told me that all dragons get wings, and when and how I’d get mine, but none of you did! I mean, except for Smolder, and she still kinda left out the most important part! What’s up with that?”

Garble reached over and gave Spike’s headfins a “friendly” noogie. “Gosh, how can I put this... Duh? Dragons are jerks.”

“That’s fair,” admitted Mina. She rolled the dice and moved her token. “Steal seven bits from the player on your right. Cool!” Garble groused as half of his bits were snatched.

“Hey now!” protested Smolder. "How was I supposed to know that you didn't know? Everydragon knows that stuff!"

Spike folded his arms. "Every dragon who isn't living with ponies, with no other dragons around! Maybe if you guys answered your mail now and then? I know Twilight wrote a lot letters trying to get more info about dragon stuff."

Garble shrugged. “Whoa, she's the one who did that? I heard some pony wrote so many annoying letters to Dragon Lord Ember that she ordered all the rest of them tossed in a volcano.”

“And we put her on the dragon mail spam filter,” added Mina. “There must be an entire crater on the Moon filled with letters by now.” Somewhere far away, a princess raged about littering on her Moon, and Mina shivered without knowing why.

Spike sighed as he rolled and moved his token. “Hey, guys! I earned one bit for doing honest work! ... Seriously, though, some of those questions were important! Like, why can’t dragons walk on clouds?” He drummed his claws on the table. “Rainbow Dash just about laughed her head off watching me try for half an hour.”

Smolder scratched her chin. “Wait, I remember my mom telling me that one. Dragon magic is earth because we’re super tough, and fire because… we’re dragons, duh! Clouds are wind and water, so the cloud walking thing? Doesn’t really work for us.”

Garble rolled and moved his token to a golden square. “Your flock rules the roost! Extort five bits from everygriffon! Yes!”

“It’s okay, you can have these,” said Spike, as he pushed a stack of bits over. “I’m not using them for anything right now.” The other dragons all looked at him, then shook their heads slowly. “I’m just glad that the worst is over, you know, with this Molt thing out of the way and all.”

Garble blinked, then cackled, grinning from ear to ear.

Spike froze. “Um, Garble? Buddy? There’s more?!”

Mina tapped her chin. “Oh, that’s right! Boy dragons have their first Big Bulk-Up after the Molt, don’t they?”

Smolder grinned, nodding. “They get rude, crude, and ravenous!” She blushed. “It’s kind of hot, actually.”

Garble guffawed and elbowed Spike. “If I’d been living in a castle made of gems, there wouldn’t have been anything left by the time I was done!”

Spike gulped, and gnawed on his claws nervously. “Heh… sorry I asked?”

Session 81.30 Ardashir, Mtangalion, Alex Warlorn, sonicandmario826

"I NEVER WANT TO HEAR ANY OF US COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR CHEST SIZES AGAIN." Rarity told her friends after their time as 'short stack goblins.'

"Hey, I never complained in the first place!" Rainbow Dash said, hands on hips. "I prefer being sleek and aerodynamic; it's better for an athlete. Not everyone needs ta be like AJ, anyway."

"Okay, Dash, what exactly does that mean?" Applejack asked in a very chilly tone.

"Yeah what did you mean Dashie?" Pinkie Pie asked innocently.

"Heh, well," Dash grinned self-consciously. "I've heard the guys talking about how you an' Fluttershy have more curves than a mountain highway, an' about being 'top-heavy'. Uh, not that I listen to stuff like that."

“ She means her apples are extra large.” Zephyr Breeze said while he walked by.

Everyone looked towards Applejack who just took a heavy sigh and began walking towards Zephyr cracking her knuckles saying, “ Ok Zephyr, were going to have a nice talk on what not to say to girls.”

"BIG SISTER! HELP ME!" Zephyr Breeze shouted to Fluttershy.

“Hmmmm.... I guess I should go get them before she kills him.”

“Wow, I think this is the first time I saw you hesitate helping someone.. though I can’t say I blame you.”

"He's a teenage boy, it's not like he's spent decades of his life living with his parents long after he's supposed to have gotten a job."

“Trust me he makes it feel that way.”

Rainbow nodded, “Yeah and for some reason it feels like he’s been hitting on me for decades too.”

The human Twilight slipped away from the group, glancing around to make sure she was alone. "Um, Screwball? Are you still plugged into the physical world? I wouldn't mind if... you know, you enhanced my figure. Just a little bit... for science!"

An answering machine beep sounded from thin air, followed by Screwball's voice. "Sorry, I can't come to the reality interface right now. Daddy says I'm grounded forever. Or until it's crunch time and he needs me to fix all the bugs in Ascension. Beep! Psst, this is where you leave a message! Bye!"

"Want to borrow fursuit?" asked Alisa brightly. "Alisa has one that's especially top-heavy, good for all sorts of games!"

Twilight nearly jumped out of her socks. "Gah!"

Session 81.31 All-Overboard

“Discord? Discord?” Sombra looked over his lead programmer who was fully being taken out in an ambulance due to his eyes needing better care. “Radiant! I'm gonna take over the release for Ascension!”

“Okay! I'll look over the company until then.” Hope called out as she wheeled her chair back into the room.

“We'll go ahead and get that announcement video set up for this smaller con. Whose bright idea was it to set this up for this place.” Sombra muttered under his breath as he dragged along Thorax who had helped set up some of the new quests in the war torn version of Equestria.

“Sir? I'm grateful for the vote of confidence but why am I being dragged into helping present this thing.” Thorax wheezed as he held his hand against his heart which was ready to jump out of his body.

“Because I'm gonna be working on the last few tweaks before launch and you're gonna make sure Tirek doesn't get too into character when he reveals his character to the world. Damn contracts… “ Sombra hissed as the car sped along towards the the center. “Did you set up the VIP Lounge as well?”

“Yes sir. We've even put up the sign of joining a party with President of CrystalSoft during the event at your discretion. We have sent word to Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle to join us for the day to make sure to sign merchandise and such.” Thorax explained.

“Good. Make certain that they remember to smile… god knows Hope makes me do it more often than not.” Sombra sighed as they pulled into the center parking lot.

Waiting for the two was the large intimidating Tirek smiling wistfully while his small attendant Little Pip kept herself close enough to be associated with him but far enough to stay out of arm’s reach. Sombra took a deep breath… pulled out his suitcase and strode to the pair as gracefully as he could. Thorax, while a nervous wreck, managed to not stumble over his feet and the presentation would soon be underway.

Session 81.32 Alex Warlorn

"Sooo... Gilda, you remember being an empty headed happy horse?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I'm not sure 'being' ia the right words Dash, more like I was just going through the motions like in some dream."

"Soulless NPC, got it."

Rarity said, "Maybe we'll get lucky and there's some brainwashing residue that'll keep people from treating Wallflower like they did Sunset... I never thought I'd say those words... But that girl is such a wreck that going from being ignored by everyone to being treated as Sunset Shimmer 2.0 would put her on suicide watch!"

-

"So you just found the magic rock in the ground!? And it was apparently buried for ... who knows how long!?" Human Starlight asked.

"... I don't get it either... if I believed in destiny I'd say it's like I was destine to have it or something."

Session 81.33 Mtangalion

(inspired by an image linked by Trooper924, and some spot RP with him and Alex)

“Good morning, class,” said Professor Rarity brightly, “and welcome back to Generosity 101!” Using her magic, she wrote the name of the class on the blackboard with a piece of chalk, and started a record playing some light harpsichord music. “Today we’ll be learning one of my favorite games: Which Outfit Do You Prefer?”

She brought in three racks full of clothes with a twirl of her horn, then sent them flying towards the students.

“Hey, I’m looking pretty sharp,” said Sandbar, craning his neck to get a better look at his black tuxedo jacket.”

“A sweater vest?!” squawked Gallus. He turned around several times. “Huh, this is actually pretty comfy. But lose the bowtie.”

“But bowties are cool,” said Rarity, pouting a bit... but she jotted down the feedback. She blinked at another student. “Are you having some trouble with the fitting… sorry, what was your name again? Cold Nose?”

The black and grey earth pony colt with a red star cutie mark was snarling, and he seemed to be trying to claw his dress shirt and tie off with his bare hooves, oddly. “Don’t like it, not one bit! Collar is plenty enough clothes!”

But even his reaction was mild compared to Smolder’s. “Get. It. Off!” roared the young dragoness, hissing at the tight blue and gold Gala-worthy dress that Rarity had magicked onto her. “Get it off now! It’s our Tiamat-given right to fly around naked!” She swiped with her claws and even breathed fire on herself, but to her horror, the garment was undamaged.

“There, there,” said Rarity soothingly. “Fancy dress can indeed be a little uncomfortable at first. You have to sort of relax into it, like… ah! Like a soak in a hot bath... or perhaps a sea of molten lava in your case. Just relax and flow, relax and flow…”

Smolder perked up. “Lava! That’s a GREAT idea!” She flew out of the classroom at top speed. There was a muffled explosion of unbinding magic from the direction of the Dragon Dormitory and its communal lava bath, and then Smolder strutted back in, proudly bare in her scales once more.

Rarity leaned out into the hallway and spotted Twilight, looking concerned about the explosion and the buzz in the halls. “Twilight, darling, do you have any stronger heat-damping charms? I’ll never break into the Dragon Town market at this rate.”

Twilight just groaned and facehoofed.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?
What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 81.0 Ardashir
Session 81.1 Alex Warlorn
Session 81.2 Kendell2
Session 81.3 Wolfram-and-Hart
Session 81.4 Ardashir
Session 81.5 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 81.6 Alex Warlorn
Session 81.7 Alex Warlorn
Session 81.8 Mtangalion
Session 81.9 Alex Warlorn
Session 81.10 Kendell2
Session 81.11 Ardashir
Session 81.12 Mtangalion
Session 81.13 Kendell2

Session 81.14 Mtangalion with bits by Alex Warlorn
Session 81.15 Alex Warlorn
Session 81.16 Alex Warlorn
Session 81.17 Alex Warlorn
Session 81.18 Alex Warlorn
Session 81.19 Alex Warlorn
Session 81.20 Kendell2
Session 81.21 Ardashir
Session 81.22 sonicandmario826
Session 81.23 Mtangalion
Session 81.24 Alex Warlorn
Session 81.25 Kendell2
Session 81.26 Ardashir
Session 81.27 Alex Warlorn
Session 81.28 Kendell2
Session 81.29 Mtangalion (with edits)
Session 81.30 Ardashir, Mtangalion, Alex Warlorn, sonicandmario826
Session 81.31 All-Overboard
Session 81.32 Alex Warlorn
Session 81.33 Mtangalion

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Picture by andrevus used with permission. https://www.deviantart.com/andrevus/art/Skeleanor-Fixed-up-745706209

Session 82

Session 82.0 Alex Warlorn (Spoilers for 'Mean Six'.)

"I DON'T UNDERSTAND! IT MAKES NO SENSE!" Vice President Chrysalis wailed.

"Normally music to my ears, but not so much in this context, what seems to be the problem?" Lead programmer Discord asked.

"I collected behavior and sample data from six of our most avid players, and created six AI controlled Player Characters, so we wouldn't have to keep paying interns to role-play as changeling infiltrators for the Crystal Empire raids... but the moment I ran their programs, they all acted the OPPOSITE of the sample behavior data, and within nanoseconds wanted to try and conquer the internet, and then they accidentally caused the server they were on to explode and all six were deleted by the debugging program! IT MAKES NO SENSE! If they acted like exaggerated or shallow versions of the players they were based on then at least that would would be logical!"

Head Programmer Discord asked, "So... did you hire those three stupid system crackers so you could have it done cheap?"

"... Maybe?"

Session 82.1 Grogar-the-oneser with edits (Spoilers for 'Mean Six'.)

"DAMNIT!!" Chrysalis roared as she stomped into her castle pissed off.

"So... how was the fight?" Glowworm asked.

"THERE WAS NO FIGHT! I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO TAUNT THEM FACE TO BLOOD FACE!!" Chrysalis snapped.

"Really? what about the clones."

"Those treacherous cockbites! They listen to Clone Twilight try to kill me! Which I can't deny respecting but still. At least that tree reveal some defenses and kill those suckers before I have to... that reminds me." She use her magic to reveal oddly color logs. "Throw these in the fire, I want to see these burned, especially the purple one."

"Wait... why did they all betray you?" Glowworm asked confused.

"Cause to make sure I didn't get clones with exaggerated personality or character flaws that would ultimately either give me beings that get an F in minion or betray me to be good guys I did a complete 180 on all the clones personalities."

"Really? Cause considering Twilight usual personality and demureness of being seen as to overpower-"

"I'M FULLY AWARE I SHOULD HAVE SKIPPED HER WHEN I DID THE OTHERS!" Chrysalis snapped, but gave a sighed "If you excuse me, I have to read some pulp fiction to calm me down. The only good side of today was that no one outside of this hive was aware of this plan."

Meanwhile the changeling who pretended to be Fleur was spewing his heart out on all of Chrysalis plan and her order to go nuts (hence the recent changeling attack and crimewave) so they wouldn't get gutted like a fish.

Of course he hadn't been told a single thing about the photographs, the clones, or trying to steal the Elements, just that Chrysalis had told her changelings to go wild. Then fled screaming when they began talking about 'redeeming' him.

Session 82.2 sonicandmario826

Chrysalis realized something, "Wait a minute I was never defeated or 'reformed'. THAT FORTUNE TELLER WAS A LOAD OF CRAP!!!"

Meanwhile in Las Pegasus

The fortune teller was just arriving into town with a wagon full of bits and expensive Changeling relics. The fortune teller took off a mask revealing it to be Flim.

"Well brother of mine I do believe that was a successful scam."

Flam got out of the wagon just finished counting their loot. "Indeed brother. Let's go back to the casino and put this with the rest of our profit."

Session 82.3 Ardashir

"Don't CrystalSoft seem ta have a lot of these cons?" Rainbow Dash asked as she walked alongside her friends to the Masquerade. She stepped aside with a shudder as two rather hefty fans dressed in very poorly done unicorn suits passed her by. "I mean, this feels like the fourth or fifth one this year."

"Tell me about it," Applejack grumbled beside her. "Sometimes Ah feel like we've been in high school forever." Someone costumed as a bat pony hurried past her. AJ made sure the wings didn't knock her hat off. "An' may Ah know just why we're going ta a costume show? Ah thought ya didn't like them, Rarity."

"To answer your question, Rainbow Dash," Rarity said as she strolled along, starry-eyed male fans holding doors for her, "CrystalSoft apparently knows how to, ah, spin the bad publicity so they don't take any damage to their reputation." She thanked the boys at the doors with a flutter of eyelashes. They stepped back looking poleaxed. The girls hurried through, with Pinkie Pie waving her hand before the boys' faces to see if they reacted. "And as for you, Applejack, normally I'm not a fan of these 'masquerades', but," her eyes twinkled, "a friend of ours will be competing in this one. Oh!" She spoke to several boys between them and the room, a large auditorium. In a soft voice, she said, "Would you gentlemen be so kind as to let us in?" They backed away smiling broadly. Rarity sashayed past them. The rest followed, with Applejack rolling her eyes.

"Ya have ta lay it on that thick, Rarity?"

Rarity sniffed. "There's nothing wrong with using one's natural grace and beauty to smooth things. As I was saying, a friend of ours will be competing here."

"Ooh! So Sunset or Twilight?" Pinkie looked around. "It can't be Starlight, because she's over there --"

The girls looked to see Starlight and Sunburst chatting as they walked away down the hallway. They both looked as though no one else existed in the world but them at that moment. Rarity sighed in mixed admiration and envy.

"And, um, I see Wallflower," Fluttershy said and waved to her. Wallflower looked up from her cell phone (she was speaking with Screwball) and shyly waved back. Fluttershy looked ahead to the masquerade room. "I actually kind of like these. It can be fun to pretend to be someone else for a bit, especially when no one knows it's you. And it's kind of funny to see how everyone acts."

"Ah see what ya mean," Applejack smirked and jerked a thumb back over her shoulder. They looked and saw what appeared to be a Diamond Wolf -- a black-and-grey one with the proverbial hourglass figure. She swayed up to the door in a fashion obviously meant to be seductive. The guys laughed until she lightly chucked their chins, and then let her through, staring after her wide-eyed as she walked in, hand on hip. 'She' wore a blue flamenco dress that looked vaguely familiar. Fake and large gemstones glittered at her ears and around her neck on a collar.

AJ, Dash, Fluttershy and Pinkie all jumped when Rarity near shrieked beside them. She grabbed at her hair as though ready to yank it out by the roots. "WHAA-AAA-AAT? My commissioned dress! I was told it would be for a beauty contest, not, not this!"

"Gee, I dunno," Dash was fighting not to laugh, hand at her mouth. "Those guys seem ta think she's plenty beautiful." She finally broke down laughing as the 'she-wolf' strutted her way through the crowd towards them. People wolf-whistled and cheered as she went. Rarity stood still, one eye twitching, until the 'she-wolf' stopped before them. She posed and somehow oozed an air of smug satisfaction.

"Hi girls," Twilight's voice came from within the suit, followed by, "Rarity! Thanks for the dress and the suggestions on the costume jewelry. I think now I know why you enjoy having so much male attention. It really gets intoxicating, doesn't it?" She turned and gave a little wave to the guys. They cheered again and she mimed embarrassment. She turned back to them. "Hey, since I'm competing, I can get you all front row seats!" She headed for the stage, and several guys followed her, elbowing past Rarity without even noticing her.

"Intoxicating is the word I'd use to describe someone right now," Rarity choked out, a vein on her forehead throbbing, as she followed them. The rest of the girls were fighting down laughs to see their scholarly friend being the focus of so much attention. Rarity near snarled, "Upstaged by a, a cartoon character!"

"It happens around us more often then you'd think," Pinkie said in a voice of total innocence.

Session 82.4 Alex Warlorn

The creators of the popular and insanely hard rogue like civilization fantasy game Diamond Dog Fortress (still technically in alpha) were confused when they began to hear ominous stomping ... Like an angry dragon or something was coming to pick a bone with them.

The door to their office was kicked down, revealing a very angry Pinkie Pie.

"WHERE ARE THE CLOWNS?!"

"Uh... what?"

"WHERE ARE THE CLOWNS?! Your game promised a circus and clowns waiting at the bottom of the world if my dwarves dug to the very bottom of the world! ... The only reason I played your hard game made of little letters is because when I asked what was so fun about you, they said they were clowns and a circus at the bottom of the world! I dug into Hell, I cleared out every last demon, I scoured the entire underworld, AND THERE IS NO CIRCUS AND NO CLOWNS!"

"... But... but... the whole 'clowns' and 'circus' thing are just code words for the demons and the underworld, so new players aren't spoiled by their first demon horde when they dig too deep... wait... what do you mean 'cleared them out' ... the demons are supposed to be infinitely spawning!"

"Yeah, it took a long long time."

"But! It's not MEANT to be take a 'long long time' it's meant to be impossible to eradicate all the demons!"

"Well I did! And I'm not happy! I'm suing you for false advertising! YOU PROMISED ME CLOWNS! AND I WANT CLOWNS!"

Session 82.5 Alex Warlorn

"DISCORD!"

Programmer Discord groaned again, he knew Vice Company President Chrysalis' angry voice by now.

"I'd ask if you're insane, but that's a moot point, but are you stupid too?! This drop for that beta dungeon your threw together to play test some of the new features for Ascension... it grant unlimited use of Polymorph Self, and Baneful Polymorph, and even has admin privileges to the in-game day/night cycle: this Crown of Majesty, is completely broken!"

"Don't worry! I just threw that in there so the dungeon didn't crash! It's a joke! It's impossible to actually get! And I've already closed that test dungeon! So none of the players can get their hands on it!"

"Uh, daddy... you know that boss that was supposed to be unbeatable?... Raid party managed to grab beat it, and one player ninja'ed the crown before you shut down the dungeon..."

"WHAT?! WHO?!"

--

In her castle, with the computer Discord had given her in hopes of, blech, reforming her, Chrysalis laughed.

Fairest of Them All Has Equipped 'Crown of Majesty'

Use Polymorph self.

In game 'Fairest Of Them All' became a white unicorn with blue hair, purple eyes (it's always purple), and even came with the covetedpay option of creating your own cutie mark of free! She gave herself give glittery blue flowers with four leafs each.

Polymorph self also came with the option of changing what name other players saw: Chrysalis typed in 'Majesty.'

"Look out World of Horsecraft! I'm going to play havoc while waiting for Ascension to be released!"

Session 82.6 Mtangalion

When she wasn’t busy waving and offering picture-perfect fake smiles to people wandering around the big Ascension event, CrystalSoft Vice President Chrysalis typed furiously on her laptop, analyzing the logs from the raid group that had taken that blasted crown.

"Our in-game jewelry thief certainly displayed some impressive tactics," Chrysalis mused. "Why, I couldn’t have pulled off the heist any better myself…" Then she froze, noticing Pharynx and Thorax carrying an extra table out to the convention floor. "What… is that you’re wearing?"

"Oh, those?" Pharynx himself looked somewhat embarrassed by Thorax’s t-shirt… a rainbow tie-dyed eyesore with an equally colorful CrystalSoft logo. "Yeah, my lame brother and some of the other office drones thought those would build team spirit or something."

Chrysalis took slow breaths through clenched teeth. "This is an official event, Thorax. You should wear the official team shirt, like your brother!" She pointed at Pharynx’s t-shirt, which was solid black with the company logo in edgy neon green.

Thorax blushed. "But ma’am, I think these new shirts really do promote a spirit of sharing, and…"

Chrysalis jumped out of her chair, pointing imperiously. "Off with them, I say!"

Across the convention floor, someone in a full body bipedal griffon suit gasped. "Take off our clothes?" came Gabby’s muffled voice from inside the costume’s beak. "Okay!" She reached to pull the adventuring armor off her costume.

"Not us, birdbrain," said Gilda. She was strolling around griffoned-up in full view of everyone, mallet slung over her shoulder.

Applejack narrowed her eyes. "Nice ‘costume.’"

Gilda grinned smugly, adjusting the straps of her leather harness. "Yeah, I know, I make this look good." She blinked, noticing another fursuit that stood out among the many pony costumes. "Hello…"

This fursuit was a snowy white Diamond Wolf male with a fancy gold collar and an elaborately fluffed mane, and whoever was inside padded right up to Twilight, still wearing *her* Diamond Wolf fursuit. "What’s this?" he rumbled, waving his hands in exaggerated surprise. "We both wore same thing to party! One of us must change! Joke, joke! Good to meet fellow wolf!"

If costumes could blush, Twilight’s would have been blushing something fierce, the way she gasped, and clasped her paws to her muzzle.

Session 82.7 Grogar-the-oneser

"What are you doing! I gave you permission to dress in a way to promote and you dress like that!" Sombra yelled.

"But sir-" Thorax stated.

"CHANGE Your outfit!"

"Why are you still wearing that embarassing outfit!" Chrysalis snapped.

"Well ya see-"

"CHANGE YOUR OUTFIT!"

Thorax sighed, "This is going to be a long day."

Session 82.8 Ardashir

Spike the dog said pointing at Sci-Twili in her costume, "Hey, Twi, just so you know, minus those over-developed and misplaced teats you look good by dog standards."

"Uh, thanks, I think?"

Session 82.9 Mtangalion

Lead Developer Discord paged through the notes on his phone anxiously. "Killer opening monologue, check... New starting area videos for the Thestrals and Deer, check... Armies of Tirek teaser... Castle of the Two Sisters Lost Catacomb preview..." He glanced up, frowning mildly at all the costumes. "When exactly did this become a furry convention?"

"I thought you enjoyed a little chaos," said Radiant Hope sweetly, as she slipped a headband with a mismatched horn and antler onto him. She was wearing a headband with a unicorn horn herself.

"Absolutely, if I'm the one causing it," quipped Discord.

Session 82.10 Alex Warlorn

"Ya can't force ponies to be yer friends, it doesn't work like that," Applejack explained.

In response, the little violet puffball threw a transparent glowing heart at Applejack. It burst into sparkles that surrounded Applejack who began grinning.

"Yippie friend, Ah'm ready to help save dream land!" Applejack smiled and hopped in behind the little pink puffball.

-

"You were right Applejack, that enchanted comic was actually really refreshing!" Starlight Glimmer said with a smile.

"Whatever ya say Starlight Glimmer."

Session 82.11 Mtangalion

The lights in the convention center went down, and ominous gypsy violins began to play. The big theater screen came on, black with golden subtitles…

(CrystalSoft presents)

Sketchy animatic-style images began to appear, depicting a castle in the midst of a sprawling forest. "One thousand years ago," spoke a deep male voice, "our Lady of the Night reigned!"

The music swelled, and the images shifted to a courtyard, where Princess Luna stood in darkly majestic armor, speaking to a gathered crowd of pegasi, then rearing up, casting powerful magic on them! The pegasi writhed in painful transformation, suddenly grinning with gleaming fangs and unfurling batlike wings!

"Our Princess gave us new life, and our lives were Hers, for good… and for ill." Several scenes flashed by, with a roar of clashing armies in the background… thestrals battling solar guards, ponies in medieval dress fleeing in terror, Celestia clashing with Nightmare Moon and striking her down! The moon, high in the sky with the Mare in the Moon upon it.

The music turned quiet and somber, and the scene became a marketplace, with a cloaked pony slipping through the crowd, and trying to buy a few loaves of bread at a market stall. "Generation after generation, we both longed for our Lady’s return… and dreaded it." Someone in the crowd accidentally jostled the cloaked pony, revealing batlike wings. Ponies gasped in fear, a foal screamed, and angry voices and hooves were raised. The thestral fled the village, her head hung in shame.

Images swept past rapidly, suggesting turning pages and changing seasons. Nightmare Moon, cackling and promising night eternal. A band of brave adventures, storming her castle, then battling her in the ancient crumbling throne room. Princess Celestia embracing Princess Luna, both smiling and weeping. "To those brave souls who bore the Elements of Harmony and restored our Lady… we owe more than words can say."

The animatics faded away, and a new scene appeared, rendered like the in-game art: The sun setting, and the moon rising, clear and bright. "Now, we once again take our place beside our brothers and sisters of old, the ponies of the sun! No longer pawns of darkness, but standing proud in the moonlight!" A group of thestrals tending a thick bank of clouds moved them aside, so the moonlight could shine down into…

The dark music swelled heroically, and the camera swept down through the clouds, revealing a hidden city… a great stone keep surrounded by three rings of homes and shops, boldly lit by torches and glow gems!

(HOLLOW SHADES)

The music turned whimsical and more scenes around the city were revealed…

Thestrals in a tavern, laughing and joking and knocking cider mugs together. Thestral foals, happily kicking a ball and playing with wooden swords, unafraid.

More thestrals peacefully milling around and doing business in a market… while a slightly lost group of foreign adventurers watched. The unicorn getting green and nauseous, realizing that some of the vendors were selling cooked meat, while the zebra held her nose, and the griffon and the diamond wolf party members licked their chops.

Thestrals in armor, patrolling the streets and skies. Thestrals showing off different class skills as they fought monsters and bandits. A squad venturing into the woods, only to scramble right back out with an Ursa Minor on their tails.

Then thunder boomed ominously, and creepy foals appeared in a shadowy forest glade, floating in a circle. "Won’t somepony come play with us?" asked one. Another said, "Hehe! It won't be long before the shadow of the Nightmare can rise again!"

"Not while we stand watch!" boomed the male thestral voice from before… a guard captain with a spear, and many more armored thestrals standing behind him. Princess Luna herself landed beside them, acknowledging them with a regal smile and nod, and the squad thumped their shadowy spears on the ground. "We are the children of the night! We are THESTRALS!"

Lead Developer Discord jogged onto the stage as the video faded out, basking in the hearty applause of the convention crowd. "Thank you, thank you! That’s just the start of what we have to show you today!"

In the front row of the audience, Terramar shouted, "When can we play sea ponies?! And hippogriffs!?"

Discord shrugged, hands in pockets. "As our new thestral friends would say, bite me!"

Session 82.12 Alex Warlorn

"Hey..." Button Mash said in class, looking up from his Joyboy. "You ever get the feeling that the universe doesn't care what happens to you anymore? That it's done with you, and you're supposed to politely fade into oblivion and the universe now has those it would rather be focusing on?"

Cheerilee's class could hear the shouting and cheers, and yells from Princess Twilight Sparkles' Friendship School all the way from here, in particular it's six premiere students.

"I wasn't going to say anything, but yeah," Silver Spoon admitted.

"Well, mom always did say 'may you live in interesting times' was a curse." Diamond Tiara admitted.

"Well... Apple Bloom and the others don't really hang out at school with us anymore... they just tutor at Twilight's school now... " Twist admitted.

Archer added. "Any idea on WHY Miss Cheerilee was talking about the history of turnips? I means, what course was that even FOR? It's like she picked something so insanely boring and meaningless that no pony would question Apple Bloom and her friends wanting to try and get into Twilight's school!"

"I don't mind learning about cooking or ingredients, but I don't get why she dedicated so much time to learning about just turnips!" Truffle agreed.

"Where is she anyway?" Alula asked.

"And the love poison makes more sense than you!" Cheerilee hit Sugarbelle over the head several times with a soft foam baseball bat. Cheerilee huffed, and gave Sugarbelle a hoof full of bits.

"Pleasure doing business with you," 'Sugarbelle' smiled before a flash of green flames turned her into Kevin the changeling, who unlike other changeling no longer loyal to Chrysalis had chosen NOT to mutate and look like a melted cartoon of rainbow sherbet.

Session 82.13 Grogar-the-oneser

"Ohh I hate moving!" Glowworm groaned as he and chrysalis remnant left their HQ.

"TOO BAD! due to my plot failing that mean everyone pissed off from that crime spree we committed!" Chrysalis growled

"The crime spree you cause due to listening to a fake gypsy." Glowworm muttered

"SHUT UP!!"

"Besides, what are the chances they find out it was our hive that did it." Glowworm stated, the entire hive was grabbed in a magical aura. "I retract my statement."

"You cause my Trottingham speech to be ruined!" Starswirl roared "Now I will make you suffer!"

There was a huge flash of light and the hive found themselves in a weird place. "What the- where are we. And what are these weird buildings"

"Oh no." Chrysalis groaned as she realized what the old coot did

"What?"

"Prepare to be attacked by a giant silver ball." Chrysalis groaned

"Well, that dark." Flash Magnus stated

"Yes, I think I went a tad overboard." Starswirl admitted as tiny screams could be heard from the pinball machine. "Still you can't reform someone if they refuse it."

"Yeah, but did you have to rent it at a kid party?" Flash Magnus questioned

"Hence the overboard part. Especially since Ocellus girl been playing it ever since that party started."

Session 82.14 Ardashir

"So, what does this thing do again?" Smolder said to Spike as she looked at the odd unfolded screen set before them. She sniffed at it and sneezed. "It's some kind of crystal ball that lets us talk to ponies in another dimension?"

"Uh, something like that," Spike lightly tapped his claws against the table as the computer slowly made the connection. He looked and saw a curious Smolder with a wary looking Ember and Garble behind her. They eyed the computer with severe caution; the extra parts Twilight put on it to enable the cross-dimensional cyber-connection looked all too much like the ones on her world mirror. "It's called a 'computer' and it lets you play a game."

"This thing better not turn us into dogs, like that crazy mirror," grumbled Garble. He scratched absently. When he noticed, he scowled and folded his arms across his chest. "I still got fleas from those other mutts. And I lost my gems, too."

"If you hadn't run off that wouldn't have happened," Ember snapped at him. She huffed annoyance, smoke coming from her nostrils. He shrank back as she said, "Honestly? You go to another world and start robbing the place? Be glad I decided to bring you back to Equestria."

"Uh, so!" Spike quickly said, pointing at the screen as the teaser for 'Ascension' began to run. "It's a game where you play a hero, fighting villains and monsters and getting treasure for it," all three of the dragons, especially Garble, perked up at that, "and now they have dragons in it! Or so Twilight told me. I haven't seen this one yet."

He stopped and stared as the game showed the three dragons in-game making their offer to the game's Celestia. Garble choked and Ember gasped, their claws scraping the floor in sudden shock at what they saw.

"Was that us?" Ember finally managed to say, after working her jaws soundlessly for several seconds. "I thought dragons didn't exist in that world?"

"I... guess?" Spike had to smile at seeing himself as his O&O wizard. "Huh, I wonder how the humans guessed that we look like this?"

Beside him Garble was flexing and preening. Smolder rolled her eyes as he spoke.

"Hah! Like I'd need a dumb battleaxe to fight with. Real dragons need nothing but their fangs and flame and muscle!" Garble made a muscle and kissed it. As he turned to admire himself in the world mirror his tail swatted the computer lightly. A second short scene for players who wanted to follow the 'Dragon Quest' began to ran as he said, "At least they made us the coolest species, like in real life."

Beside him Smolder stared at the screen. She began spluttering, set her claws over her muzzle, and finally dropped to the floor laughing. "BWA-AHAHAHA! I guess they do know you two!"

"Smolder, what are you talking about now?" Ember turned, catching sight of the screen. She had her mouth open to say more but stopped and froze, as did Spike and Garble when they saw what was happening on the computer screen.

Under a heading of 'In the Dragonlands', showing the volcanic plains and caves of their homeland, Dragon Lord Ember and Dragon Brawler Garble were talking beside a large hoard of shimmering gold and shining jewels.

More, they were in each others' arms.

"I want you to be careful," the computerized Ember said to Garble, laying her head against his broad scaly chest. "We have to redeem our honor, it was a dragon who let Tirek go, but honor will mean nothing to me if you're not there to share victory with."

"I know, my little turquoise treasure," computer-Garble responded to her, tilting her muzzle back with one claw. "You're the greatest gemstone in the world to me. But don't worry, I'll beat those losers and return to you safe and sound --"

Both broke off as the floor of the cave rumbled, shook, and finally collapsed, sending the great hoard of dragonkind tumbling into the dark depths. Before they could do anything a pair of cackling forms rose from the pit. A giant stony dog and a mass of living lava confronted the dragons.

"Bwa-haha! Stupid soft fleshy dragons!" said 'Tirek's Lieutenant:Crunch the Rock Dog'. "You not watch hoard, so Crunch take! Him own all treasures of the earth, so him take his gold and gems back!"

"We will, you massive mongrel," 'Tirek's Lieutenant:Lavan the Lava Monster' added. He pointed one goopy finger at the dragons, with Garble trying to shield Ember. "You overgrown iguanas think you control the magic of earth and fire? You merely use it, falsely claim it. I was born in it! Observe!"

He gestured and a massive wave of lava and stone washed across the now empty cave, slamming Ember and Garble into the stones. As Garble feebly struggled to rise, Lavan snatched Ember up and yanked the 'Scepter of the Dragon Lord' from her claws. Ember fought uselessly to escape as Lavan sneered at the screen: "If the Dragons want their hoards and their Lord and their Scepter back, they will have to go through my armies to get them! Let us see if their puny descendants can match what the wyrms of old did!"

The screen went black as his gurgling laughter echoed.

"WHO WROTE THAT CRAP?!?" Ember roared, her eyes ablaze and little tongues of fire shooting from her muzzle as she yelled, "I'll destroy those humans!" Her claws tightened on the scepter she bore as though she lusted to bring it smashing down on a game designer's head. "I am no damsel in distress, and, and..." She waved her claws overhead. "Kissing Garble?? BLEAH!"

"Yeah, like you could even handle me," Garble began backing away towards the door as Ember gave him a truly hateful glare. Spike gulped to see Garble smirk as he said, "Hey, if you don't like it, go tell those humans who made it, not me!"

"I will!" Ember leaped from the ground, wings flapping, and went for the mirror gate.

Spike chased after her, wondering how Celestia or Twilight would have handled this.

And behind them all, forgotten, Smolder folded her claws behind her head and watched the computer. "Okay, if they started with that, I gotta see how I can play this. Just so I can show everydrake back in the Dragonlands what I just saw!"

Session 82.15 Alex Warlorn

SPOILERS FOR PONYVILLE MYSTERIES: TAIL OF THE TIMBERWOLF!!! (And the chapter book that came after.)

Princess Twilight Sparkle rocked back and forth hugging her rear knees. "Wereponies are real, not fair. Wereponies are real, not fair. Wereponies are real, not fair."

"Twilight, give it a rest, so wereponies are real, what's the big deal?" Spike said.

"BIG DEAL!? I wrote my third grade paper on how wereponies were impossible! My life is ruuuuuuined!" Twilight fell on her side. "First curses turn out to be real when Trixie is almost turned into a crystal statue, and now this!!!! What's next going to be prove real? GHOSTS?!"

-

"Hi girls," Apple Bloom said. "This is my friend Ruby. Her name is Ruby too, not like Ruby Pinch though."

"Uh, hello." Waved the yellow eyed gray colored filly with the magnifying glass cutie mark. "I hope my character is okay."

Dinky, their current residing Oubliette Overseer, looked it over. "A ghost paladin?"

"Uh...."

Dinky looked at Pipsqueak's pirate overloaded with trinkets from his campaign with Luna... And Silver Spoon's slash buckler from having explored the outerplanes and the many alien planets of the prime material plane. And whatever abominations Scootaloo and DIamond Tiara had brought to the table this time.

"You'll fit right in." Dinky said.

+++

There was a ringing on Blueblood's door. Naturally a servant answered.

"Sir, there is a little filly asking to speak with you, shall I get the 'you left mommy emergency fund' ready?"

"Huh? Blueblood hasn't even met my mommy!" Said Twist. Never mind how this filly had gotten to Canterlot to begin with... Princess Luna herself insisted on looking the foal over to try and trace who had cursed her to begin with (later revealed to the pony witch Eclipse). Twist, "Hi mthister Blueblood, I was told you were turned into a werepony... so was I... don't worry, Mith Zecora make a cure for me... I just need one of yours hairs pleathe."

"I've gone that already, uh, it didn't work!"

"That's cause it was with the cure for the make believe game! This cure for werepony stuff is for the rules of the real world!"

"Oh..."

Session 82.16 QuartzScale

Finally the crowd calmed down as a different figure came onto the stage. Sombra appeared drumming up a little more hype for the next trailer.

"Are you ready for some new things?!" Sombra called out to the roars of the crowd. "I said are you ready!"

The crowd roared even louder as the lights dimmed down once again and the screen lit up. An orchestral piece began similar to the vivaldi piece only with a lot more dark tones edging into the violin pieces.

Several large deers wandered around stomping through the forest as they came upon a large city made entirely out of grown out branches and several built in furniture due to the wood. A procession was being held as several zebras and griffons were amongst them working alongside a few pony merchants who had been finally allowed into the city.

Several foals and bucks played amongst each other while thestrals and pegasi flew around doing a few jobs for several deers including one with blue fur and larger horns. A Diamond Wolf merchant made deals with a arborist deer who created gems that could grow plants after being planted, even being used to make food for those that needed it.

Off in the distance was a small amphitheater where several actors were performing a play about several demons whom were taken down by a collection of races trying to stop the rise of a large centaur who remained unnamed.

The genial tone of the city was bright and cheery even in the hidden canopy of the Everfree forest. There were a few shrouded deer as well covered in green cloaks who seemed to keep to themselves as they wandered through the streets of the city.

Deer Capital: Thicket

"Welcome all to our grand return to the fold. After years of staying out of the limelight now we step in. Why sir?" A large brown deer with red armor and white antlers with orange eyes. His name was revealed below as Enforcer Blackthorn.

"Ancient enemies and dangerous foes. One we help seal away long ago before they could freeze our homes away." A large white deer with golden horns glowing a strange green light as magic pooled in the center of his horns. His title was revealed as King Aspen.

"Charlatan? He's back!?" Blackthorn hissed as several of the cloaked figures started to ruffle at the idea.

Before Aspen could answer snow started to fall over the city leaving all within gawking at the sight. The guards immediately pointed in a direction as Aspen led a large procession of deer, zebras, griffons, and ponies off each of different jobs.

"Looks like a cold front is coming, eh? Seems you'll need a thicker Thicket to hide in." A squawking chuckle broke through from a large penguin with a red crown and light blue robe with darkened white trim holding a large staff with a chunk of blue ice at the end. He seemed to coldly stare at the group since he kept his tone cold while he chuckled.

"From you I’d expect nothing less." Aspen growled out as the two raced forward.

Charlatan stomped his foot revealing several ice golems of different races including Diamond Wolves, Yaks and Crystal Ponies. Aspen stomped down as all sides charged forward with the deer sending off several plants to tear apart the ground gripping the golems and crushing them almost instantly. Aspen met Charlatan in battle as the two used their magic in a blinding battle of power. Ice magic flowed from Charlatan’s staff while nature seemed to ooze from Aspen’s horns creating an explosion as a mixture of plants and ice overwhelmed the entirety of the plains that the group was fighting at.

"Now!" Aspen roared as the cloaked deer rushed forward creating several large man eating plants with rushed forward for Charlatan only to get knocked back by ice golem versions of the three princesses of Equestria.

"Not this day Aspen! I shan't be frozen once again beyond the sheen of Tartarian ice." Charlatan roared out before summoning a blizzard and escaping into the mist.

Aspen stomped down as several flowers appeared releasing a strong gust of heat that melted the snow and ice and released those that got too unlucky. The cloaked deer led the frost bitten to get warmer as Blackthorn and Aspen stepped forward while a cross wipe shows the title of World of Hoocraft: Ascension.

"It's good to see you all excited and for those who like the environment I can tell you that the deer are right up your alley." Sombra sensually raised his eyebrows while a group of hippies all cheered led surprisingly by Tree Hugger.

"I didn't know she was into World of Horsecraft." Fluttershy smiled as she thought about what her new character would be when the expansion came out.

As the next trailer was getting ready Sombra disappeared behind the curtain allowing Discord who had been rushed from the hospital due to his eyes being fine take over.

"You two ready? I want the two of you to introduce the Armies of Tirek trailer and play up your roles as well." Sombra informed his two newest employees.

"I'm just glad you remember me now." Sunset admitted.

"I forgot you? When? We have contracts already signed and triplicates ever since my mother was around." Sombra mused confusedly.

"Why do I have to announce this? This is so embarrassing." Pony Twilight admitted wearing a horn tiara and a pony tail that matched her hair.

"You signed the contract and agreed to the terms. Just have fun with it. Also keep an eye out. Tirek will be on stage with you. No funny business since he is the company lawyer and really good at what he does." Sombra warned Twilight who didn't freak out this time.

"I-I-I know. I'll be fine." Twilight slapped her face and Sunset patted her on the back to calm her down.

"No longer going crazy because of a memory stone. Gotta love the parallels from this world and your world, huh Twilight?" Sunset chuckled as she took position.

"I wish they would stop being so one to one already." Twilight sighed and took her place as well.

Session 82.17 Kendell2

The group continued to play the 'Charming Birthday' quest line in Crystals and Rainbows, with each going after their specific charm idea,, while also seeing some of the other ones being made by the NPC ponies, which were surprisingly varied and showed a lot of effort.

"Hey, don't the charms all look kinda huge?" asked Rainbow Dash as their characters made them.

"Eh, sure that's just so we can see them on the overworld map," Applejack replied.

Twilight as Minty had created a candy cane charm, Sci-Twi had made a charm in the shape of the constellation Sagittarius, Rarity had made a gorgeous diamond charm, Rainbow Dash had created a purple sea shell with some modifications to make it look streamlined, Applejack's was a simple apple-shaped charm, Fluttershy's was a purple flower, Pinkie Pie had made a charm that was designed to look like balloons and cotton candy, Gilda had made an ice claw charm, Spike had made a paw print, and Ember had just stuck a pet naming tag into the charm making window.

As they all finished, Razzaroo came in and looked at their charms.

"Yes, yes, yes, these look wonderful, but aren't these a little large for charms?" the NPC asked.

"...Huh, what do you know, that was actually a plot point..." Applejack admitted with a chuckle.

Thankfully the game didn't force them to remake their bracelets, instead the big ones were turned into a giant charm bracelet to decorate the castle as a present to Kimono while they made a scaled down version in a cutscene for Kimono.

That certainly surprised Kimono.

"This is truly wonderful, and knowing you shared something you all love makes it a very very special charm bracelet. I will cherish it, and your friendship forever," the NPC said, as the party commenced (with plenty of mini games). At the party's end they were treated to a page in Razzaroo's journal of pictures of various things from the party, and of course a large amount of Friendship Points and an achievement.

"Well, that was kinda fun," Sunset replied with a smile.

"Yeah lot less hectic than some of the quests on WOH," Applejack replied. "Those bosses are fun, but it can be bit tirin' taking about an hour tah beat a rough boss."

"To be fair, I think that's the idea on this," Sci-Twi pointed out. "It's a cool down and relaxation game, kinda cathartic."

Twilight blinked as they all got an item. "'Friendship Bracelet unlocked. Make charms for your friends to always have a reminder of your friendship'..." she read. "...So...should we?"

"...Sounds like a good idea to me..." Fluttershy replied with a smile. No one objected. Especially given recent stressful events.

Session 82.18 Mtangalion

Prince Blueblood looked at the cure Twist was offering him, suddenly suspicious. "So, the afflicted pony would just dissolve one of his hairs in this, and then drink it?" He took the flask in his magic. "I admit to nothing! However… thank you for this, little filly. I’ll ensure that it’s put to the proper use."

Once he was back inside his apartment with the front door securely locked and bolted, Blueblood glanced at the ceiling. "Oh, Discord? If you should happen to be listening… and I certainly would never want to disturb you if you’re occupied with important chaos business… I’m moderately curious, would you be angry if I took a potion to cure the wolfpony condition that you bestowed upon me? No?" The Prince breathed a deep sigh of relief and headed deeper into the house. "Well, then I’ll just... AH!!"

Discord was lounging on Blueblood's living room sofa, sipping a glass of Blueblood's favorite imported Crystal wine. "Angry, Bluey? Oh no, I wouldn’t say angry… just terribly disappointed. Why, I’d have to find a new pony to play with. Oh!" A glow gem literally flashed into existence over Discord’s head, then quickly blew up in colorful fireworks. "What about Midnight Heart? I’m sure she’d love to find out what being a real nightpony is like! She spent so much time coming up with the rules of being one, after all."

Blueblood gasped. "You cad… you wouldn’t! Oh wait, of course you would."

Discord shaped himself into a colorful hula-hoop and spun around Blueblood several times. "Well, yeah! That’s how I roll, dawg!" A cross between a rap beat and a rimshot played from thin air.

Blueblood was annoyed to discover that the pun had changed him into his wolf form without asking. "Fine, fine! I won’t take the cure. I’ll keep… amusing you with the shenanigans of my double life. Just leave Miss Midnight Heart alone."

Discord blinked with an audible plinking sound. "Empathy, for a mare you don’t even know? And ponies say I’m a *bad* influence."

Blueblood chuckled gruffly. "Oh, I have a fairly good idea who she is…"

A little after dusk, Rainbow Dash flew to a certain cave just past Sweet Apple Acres, hovering in front of the pitch dark entrance. "Hey, Windy? Are you still alive in there?"

There was a sneeze from inside. "Dash? Hey, come on in! I could use a distraction." It turned out that Windy Whisper was hanging upside-down over her writing desk again, with her short blue mane more frazzled than usual. "Thanks for not forgetting I existed."

"Um, Bearer of Loyalty here!" said Dash, catching the ripe, juicy apple that Windy tossed at her. "I don’t forget my friends."

"Friends, huh?" mused Windy, as she flopped in a chair and Dash took the sofa. "I guess even a thestral living alone in a cave needs a few of those." She flopped back, groaning. "If only friendship could blast a cool rainbow beam and finish this book before my deadline. My patron wants a new trilogy centered around… get this… a friendship gaming academy, with secret nightponies and wolfponies hiding among the students."

Dash coughed, glancing aside. "Heh, yeah… Like that would ever happen."

The following morning, "Professor" Rainbow Dash drummed her hooves on her desk, bored out of her mind waiting for her students to finish a test. "Squirrel," she deadpanned.

Cold Nose half-jumped out of his desk. "Where?!" Sweetie Belle pulled him back down, whispering urgently in his ear. "Haha, I was playing along of course! Your trick didn’t fool me!"

When the bell rang, Gallus handed in his test and padded out of the classroom, stepping aside to let a cheerful earth pony maid with a broom and dustpan pass by. "Hey, Sandbar," he whispered. "Think we should tell ‘Cold Nose’ that he’s really bad at this?"

Sandbar hushed him. "Dude, no way. It’s gotta be a trap." He glanced left and right down the hallways. "I read all about the Wolf Game in the Foal Free Gazette! Diamond wolves are never that bad at sneaking. He’s gotta be a distraction for a real Infiltrator. Somebody really sneaky that we’d never even give a second glance!"

A click and a flash distracted them, and the young pony and griffon turned to see a white unicorn mare with a pink mane, and a smiling sun cutie mark on her flank. She beamed warmly at them and continued on her way.

Sandbar frowned. "Weren’t class photos last week? Dude, you don’t think…"

Gallus grinned. "The game is aclaw."

Sandbar blinked. "You mean, ahoof?"

"No, I mean, aclaw!"

Session 82.19 Alex Warlorn

"Attentions students, visitors, and staff: 'Rutabaga Flowers Are Better Than Apples,'" Called Twilight Sparkle's voice over the intercom, reminding everypony that was still a thing.

-

Rarity felt proud for not telling Windy Whispers 'told you so!' when it was discovered Twist had been briefly cursed into becoming a werepony.

But that didn't mean she couldn't have a personal victory party with two special guests.

"That's what I was trying to tell you Rarity!" Sweetie Belle said.

"For the record dear, I believed you, but I didn't have the majority vote."

"You were gonna ship me off to some wild monster reserve on the other side of Equestria!"

"Technically dear it would be any side of Equestria with Ponyville being so close to the center, erm, never mind." To keep the poor filly from being traumatized, Rarity didn't say how the griffins and dragons had a far more permanent solution when it came to monsters that caused trouble.

"How about a nice game of dress up dolly?" Rarity took out the dusty old board game, her dad said when he bought for her that the shop owner was relieved to just sell a copy. It seemed the odds loved being stacked against Rarity in all things related to her personal passions.

Sweetie Belle sighed. Twist on the other hand, "Oh that sounds fun!"

Session 82.20 Ardashir

"Twi, I think we have a problem," Spike hurried into the principal's office. Twilight didn't even look up from the papers she was grading.

"It's okay, Spike. I've been talking with Prince Erik how Diamond Wolves are free to attend the school provided don't wear any of their magic costumes while attending classes..."

"Huh?" Spike blinked and looked out the door. One 'pony' student, Cold Nose, was being talked to by Rarity. Spike sighed as she batted her eyes down at the foal -- who snorted and removed their coat to reveal a Diamond Wolf pup. Gallus watched from nearby.

"Ya weren't fooling anygriff, either!" He swaggered over to Rarity as the pup bristled their annoyance. "Diamond Wolves can't fool griffons, can they, Miss Rarity?"

"I don't know," said a second Rarity as she walked up from behind the first one, who gave a start. "Can they, Gallus?" The new Rarity smiled meaningfully at the first one. She sighed and unzipped her coat to reveal Alisa. Gallus had the grace to look embarrassed.

"Was just keeping an eye on pups, Mistress Rarity," she said, wagging her tail.

"Uh, okay," Spike turned back to Twilight. "Hey, you're you, right?" Twilight frowned and he hurriedly said, "Anyway! That wasn't the problem. Ember and Garble saw part of that new 'World of Horsecraft' game, the one with the dragons..."

"They reacted badly, didn't they?" Twilight set the papers down and sighed as Spike gave a jump. "Spike, I can guess they weren't happy just by the way you spoke. But how bad can it get?"

A massive BOOM shook all through the Friendship School. Followed by a roar like thunder. "HEY IN THERE! PRINCESS OF FRIENDSHIP!"

Twilight went to look out her window and froze. A single blazing eye filled the entire window, focused on her and looking very unhappy.

"WHAT'S THIS I HEAR ABOUT SOME ALIENS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF A MIRROR MOCKING MY DAUGHTER BY SETTING HER UP WITH THE HUGGER?" Ex-Dragon Lord Torch asked in what was a quiet voice for him, which meant they heard the echoes in Canterlot. A tiny in comparison Ember flew around her sire's head as he said, "BECAUSE IF SO, THEN SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE THEIR CITY LEVELED!"

Twilight sighed. "Spike! I remember how dragons handle challenges, Go and find --"

"I'll be back with Trixie," Spike said, "provided you can handle the hoofball-sized mahjong board."

Session 82.21 Grogar-the-oneser

"I don't see the problem, he's WAY too big to squeeze through that mirror." Rarity stated.

"True... but that doesn't mean he can't just picked it up and breath fire into it." Twilight stated.

"Would that work?" Spike asked.

"If equestrian magic can still work albeit weirdly in the human world, I highly suspect dragon fire launched into the portal will also work."

"Plus we still have the organs that let us breathe fire on this side." Spike said.

Session 82.22 Mtangalion

Gallus squinted at the black and gray-furred Diamond Wolf pup, then clicked his beak and held out a claw. "Let's try this again. I'm Gallus."

The pup shrank back and fidgeted his paws, until Alisa nosed him and gestured expectantly. Then the pup nodded and confidently shook the offered claw. "I'm Pavel!"

"Well, look on the bright side," Spike was saying to Twilight. "At least Garble managed to find Ember in the other world after she flew off in a rage, and talk her into coming back with no problems!"

Canterlot Humane Society, twelve hours earlier…

Garble yawned, stirring and scratching his ear with a hind paw. "Ugh, this bites."

Ember tried to burrow deeper into the blanket. "Nodragon asked you to come here after me, idiot. I was giving that game merchant a piece of my mind just fine without you."

Garble chuckled. "Oh come, you totally needed me. I bit the human who grabbed you!" he bragged. "And I got us out of that cage too!"

"And then they put us in a better cage," snapped Ember, "without the little pull tabs that you can open with paws! Wait, what the…" Ember sat up, sniffing, and was alarmed to discover that she and Garble had gone to sleep as far from each other as they could get, but they’d woken up snuggled together. "Gah! Get off!"

"Ow, ow!" bayed Garble. "Hey, you’re the one who was lying on me, b-"

A heavy door swung open, and the human Gilda stamped into the room, two collars and leashes in hand. "Have a nice nap?" she asked sarcastically. "I just love getting late night phone calls about how ‘my’ dog is at the pound. I had to pay a fee to get you out…" She glared at Garble. "And I couldn’t get *you* out without paying to register and *adopt* you, so now I’m stuck with the uppity talking dog version of you too!" She smacked a fist into a palm. "I’d better get a whole wheelbarrow full of gems for this, is all I’m saying."

Back in Ponyville, in the present, Garble hovered next to Ember, wringing his claws. "Um, so… thanks for not telling your old man how we kinda shared a den together overnight. I mean, by dragon tradition, that technically makes us engaged! If anydragon knew about it..."

"Shut up!" hissed Ember. "Dad’s like thousands of years old and big as a castle, but he’s not deaf! You’re lucky he didn’t..." She realized that Torch was now glaring at *them*, his colossal muzzle just a few feet away.

The young dragons both gulped.

Applejack frowned thoughtfully. "So when the new Diamond *Dog* students show up and see there's Diamond Wolves here too, how's that gonna work out?"

Spike winced, hearing Torch roar in a raging fury outside. "I'll add that to the list..."

Session 82.23 Alex Warlorn

"Alright girls," Spike said, "Let's hope this works out better than our last few campaigns. Now that I can sell my scales again, I can afford the splat books. And let's see."

"RAINBOOM THE BARBARIAN!"

"Flutternice the Druid."

"Elusive, the handsome cleric of Sune, the goddess of beauty!" Rarity said.

"Farlight Twinkle, the sorceress, magic is in my blood! I am an Ogre Obedient, on my way to becoming a majestic ogre-magi!"

"Blinky-Ink The Bard!"

"Erm, J-A The Ranger."

Spike sighed. Well, might as well let the girls have their comfort zone.

"Alright girls, welcome to the town of Tavern's Ville! Where the Tavern is king! Fortune Forest is to the north, where you're fortunate if you make it through without a fight. Wall Fortress to the south that keeps out the orcs and the lizard men in the southern swamps. To keep the trade routes open between the fortress and the rest of the kingdom, regular raids are made into the goblin caves inside Fortune Forest, and you lot have been drafted! But beware! Rumors say the Cursed Treasure Caves lie deep within the goblins caves and might be the source of the goblins themselves! Beware!" Spike raised his arms dramatically.

"So Spike, when do we get to role play? Or are we gonna sit here with you telling us what our characters do?" Rainbow asked.

"I was just trying to get you to the actions, Miss, 'see how many orcs I can kill at the peace treaty signing.'"

"Hey, those orcs killed my folks, this was the best chance my character was gonna get to even the score!"

Session 82.24 Jarkes

Starlight, as a "favor" for Twilight, was currently DM'ing a campaign for the CMC, Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon. It was... not going well.

"All right, so now that you've lost the extremely important Magic Mirror that could transport you to the Dark World, you need to go on this sidequest," Starlight said.

"We wouldn't have to do this if SOMEPONY hadn't broken the Magic Mirror and sent us on a series of ridiculous warps before throwing it away when we made it back to the correct dimension," Scootaloo said, glaring at Diamond Tiara.

"I said I was sorry..." Diamond Tiara said sheepishly. "Anyway, so how do we do this sidequest?"

"First, you must obtain the legendary Mystic Orb on the other side of..." Starlight paused for dramatic effect. "THE CAVE OF NOOOOOOOOOOOO RETURN! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Silver Spoon spoke up. "If it's a Cave of No Return, then how does anypony know what's on the other side of it?"

Crap, she's on to me, Starlight thought. "Uh... the locals gave it that name because they... thought it sounded mysterious?"

"And furthermore, 'Mystic Orb?'" Silver Spoon continued. "THAT'S the best name you could come up with?"

"Look, I had to come up with half of this at the last minute, okay?" Starlight said, sighing. This is going to be a long night...

(OOC: Just a little tribute to that old "Four Swords Misadventures" Flash animation from Newgrounds. Though the only specific bits are the Cave of No Return and the Magic Mirror thing. The Mystic Orb thing is a bit of self-deprecation on my part and how I'm terrible at coming up with names for things)

Session 82.25 Kendell2

"Hey! Look Twilight!" said Rainbow Dash, her WOH self now having equiped an item that gave her a cool rippling rainbow aura. "I finally got that rainbow aura charm! It took me two days of grinding!"

Human Twilight blinked. "Rainbow, you do realize that is purely appearance based and doesn't actually give you any buffs or anything, right?"

"Yeah, so? It looks awesome and I didn't have to pay for it!"

"...Fair enough."

OOC: I actually did this in an MMO for no reason but because it looked cool.

Session 82.26 Alex Warlorn

"Geeze, those bling covered goblins sure beat a hasty retreat," Pinkie Pie said.

"Dang cowards! They realized they were dealing with the best!"

Twilight wanted to say that Spike hadn't made a morale roll, but would be cheating.

"Well, Ah've checked and Ah can't find any traps, but maybe one of us should have-"

"ENOUGH!" Rarity said. "I am sick and tired of your 'I run a business so I must be a thief' implications by trying to get me to play a rogue every chance you get!"

"S-sorry Rarity, I, I didn't know that felt that strongly about it."

"Still," Princess Twilight said, "Maybe one of us should play a rogue next adventure to balance out the team."

"Thanks for volunteering." Rainbow said.

"WHAT?! ME?! But you're the fast and swift one! That totally screams rogue!"

"Hey girls," Spike said catching them while they were distracted. "Following the trail inside their cave, and yes AJ I remember you're checking for traps as you go, you come to a cave filled with treasure."

"I disbelief," Rarity said simply.

"Nope, it's not an illusion."

"Ah check for traps." AJ rolled.

"Nope, not any traps either that you can spot."

"Spike! We're all looking for any goblins or any other monsters who might hiding." Twilight said.

The ponies rolled.

"There don't appear to be any goblins hiding."

Rarity said, "I appraise the pile of treasure, is it real? I mean, is it actually treasure or copper pieces painted golden?" Rarity remembered that nasty surprise from Tomb of Horrors.

Along with Rainbow Dash bringing along a Warforged character since they'd be immune to all the poisons... who got teleported into the demilich's inner chamber all alone and trapped with the demilich since being a construct, the trapped door was made to teleport inorganic substances to the demilich's treasure room. She hoped Twilight remembered to write that fanciful and hilarious in hindsight adventure down in her journal. Such a funny adventured deserved to be written out.

"The treasure is real treasure," Spike said.

"Elusive casts Hide From Undead, so if there are ghosts or zombies acts as guards we won't set them off."

"Alright," Spike simply nodded.

"Let's just get as much as we can out of here before those goblins realize where we are!" Rainbow Dash said. "Rainboom begins scooping as much treasure as she can into her pack!"

"JA will help!"

"I I guess I should too."

"Oookie-dookie-lookie!"

"Well, I might as well to darlings."

Twilight noticed that Spike was now rolling dice... she thought he might be rolling for monster encounters, but he was rolling more dice as each party member started to collect treasure.

And it all clicked in Twilight's head, in particular due to her recent adventures in the human world.

'Incredible!' Princess Twilight thought. 'Are the cosmic laws of constants and variables between reality that strong?!'

Then the dice roll stopped. "Girls... as you're collecting all the sparkly treasure, you don't notice as your skin turns green, and you lose height... your ears turned pointed and you grow fangs... before you know it... you are five goblins covered in your precious treasure... and you spot one magic pony there, could she be there to steal it?"

"HEY! NOW HOLD ON! CURSED TRESURE?! Don't get a saving throw?!" Rainbow protested.

"That's what I was rolling for every scoop you took, and you're the ones who didn't think to use 'detect magic' on the big pile of money with no guards."

"Well, unless yer plannin' to take our characters from us, there ain't no way we're role playin' goblins attackin' Twili." Applejack crossed her arms.

"You get extra building points for your next characters if you continue to control and role play your characters," Spike said.

"STAB THE MAGIC HORSIE WHO THREATENS OUR SHINNIES!" Rainbow Dash said at once.

"Uh... Spike! I cast Expedias Retreat on myself! I'll find a way to restore my friends to normal later!"

"AFTER THIEVING MAGIC HORSIE!" Rainbow shouted.

-

"Well, Twilight's character got back to town alive, I guess you'll be wanting those building points for your new characters now." Spike said.

"Actually darling," Rarity said. "Myself and the other discussed it, and we're going to try and establish ourselves as the leaders of the goblin tribes in the caves, and then organize the raiding parties and begin to extort money and supplies from travelers for 'protection' rather than blindly attacking any that come through our forest."

Spike's eyes opened wide. He'd intended the cursed treasure as a prank... But his friends WANTED to roleplay as a tribe of goblins out to conquer the world?... He was going to be working hard for the next session.

Session 82.27 Ardashir

As soon as those words left Rarity's mouth?

"Hey!" A goblinified Rainbow Dash jumped up on the table, her broad green feet slapping against the stone. "What the gob happen? Why me am green?"

Spike just dove for cover. He was an old hand at this now.

"Dash, no jump on table!" An equally goblinified Twilight Sparkle -- which, seeing as she was normally an alicorn, made her a bugbear now -- slammed one broad hairy hand down on it hard enough to make the dice jump. "Me command you sit back down, and --" She looked at herself and so did the rest of the girls.

"AHHH!"

"Green," Goblin-Rarity grunted, her eyes wide with horror. "Everything about me am green!" She began to faint, but instead of a chaise lounge a pile of moldering furs slid up behind her. She shrieked and leaped from them.

"At least me still have little animal friends," Fluttergoblin said as half a dozen rats climbed into her lap.

"Me want go home and tear down apple trees!" Applegoblin stated for the door and threw herself back. She alternated between hurling herself back and crawling towards it. "No! Yes! No! Yes!"

Pinkie Pie just hopped up and down, slapping her hands against the floor as she cackled. "Hee-hee! Now I want to make a party with fire! Lots and lots of fire!"

Twilight Bugbear blinked. "Why you am speak normal?"

"Why are you guys talking like that?" Pinkie shot back.

No one needed to be told who was responsible. "Discord!"

"Did someone mention my name? My ears are burning," Discord slithered into the room out of thin air. He grinned at the furious goblins. "Oh, girls! Don't you remember the fun we used to have when I turned you into every monster from the book? But really, someone else needs to see my genius at work." He snapped his fingers and with a flash Tempest Shadow appeared.

"Huh? What? How did I get back to the palace?" She looked around in confusion, and her eyes blazed when she saw the goblins. "Where are Twilight and the others -- you! You monsters!" Sparks flew and sputtered from her horn. "Tell me where they are or I'll blast you from the face of Equestria!"

Discord just sat back in popcorn he summoned and snacked on lawn chairs as the terrified Green Six fled from the enraged Tempest.

"I'll get in trouble for this later," he chuckled, "but right now this is just too much fun."

Session 82.28 Jarkes

Twilight was wandering around in her castle (somehow she still got lost in her own castle sometimes) when she passed by Starlight's room and heard Starlight and Sunburst talking.

"Oh wow, Sunburst... your horn is so BIG..." Starlight said in an almost... seductive manner.

No... she wouldn't... Twilight thought, stopping to hear more.

"It's VERY easy to play with. You just gotta put your lips around the tiny hole, push the right buttons, and blow into it," Twilight overheard Sunburst say, before she suddenly heard a loud cacophony of noise that sounded like a cat was dying.

"Sorry, sorry!" Starlight's voice came hurriedly. "I blew a little too hard there..."

"It's all right, you just got to be gentle... Here, let me show you how it's done."

Twilight had heard enough. "WHAT THE HAY IS GOING ON IN HERE?!" She screamed as she burst into the room to see... Sunburst taking a Prench horn from Starlight.

"...What?" Starlight asked. "Sunburst was just teaching me how to play the Prench horn."

"...Oh..." Twilight whispered, blushing. "I... I thought..." She trailed off, unable to finish.

"...What did you THINK we were doing?" Starlight asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I thought... you were having... well, you know..." Twilight stammered.

Starlight's eyes widened as she gasped. "TWILIGHT! You pervert! Really, I thought better of you. Sunburst and I were making sweet, lovely music together with his beautiful large horn, and THAT'S where your mind goes?"

Twilight glared at her. "Okay, now you're just doing it on purpose."

"Why, yes," Starlight replied. "Yes I am."

"We set up this whole scenario because Spike told us you were eavesdropping on us sometimes and Starlight thought it would be funny to mess with you," Sunburst chimed in. "We didn't even get to the REALLY nasty-sounding parts of the script she wrote..."

Now Starlight was glaring at Sunburst. "SUNBURST! You weren't supposed to tell her that!"

"Oh... um... oops?" Sunburst grinned sheepishly.

"Okay, I'm just gonna... go... take a shower and... cleanse this from my mind..." Twilight said, before leaving and closing the door none too gently.

Author's Note

THIS CHAPTER NEEDS COVER ART!

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?
What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 82.0 Alex Warlorn
Session 82.1 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 82.2 sonicandmario826
Session 82.3 Ardashir
Session 82.4 Alex Warlorn
Session 82.5 Alex Warlorn
Session 82.6 Mtangalion
Session 82.7 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 82.8 Ardashir
Session 82.9 Mtangalion
Session 82.10 Alex Warlorn
Session 82.11 Mtangalion
Session 82.12 Alex Warlorn
Session 82.13 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 82.14 Ardashir
Session 82.15 Alex Warlorn
Session 82.16 Quartz-Scale
Session 82.17 Kendell2
Session 82.18 Mtangalion
Session 82.19 Alex Warlorn
Session 82.20 Ardashir
Session 82.21 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 82.22 Mtangalion
Session 82.23 Alex Warlorn
Session 82.24 Jarkes
Session 82.25 Kendell2
Session 82.26 Alex Warlorn
Session 82.27 Ardashir
Session 82.28 Jarkes

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Picture by Grotezco used with permission.

https://www.deviantart.com/grotezco/art/My-Little-LARP-661943354

Session 83

Session 83.0 Quartzscale

The lights shined once more as Discord got back to the stage. He was a bit nervous seeing as he was about to reveal another trailer for the game. The hype train was goi far too fast and he couldn't just set it up higher... which he was glad to do with how much chaos would come out of this whole thing. It was more he was forced to work with. Tirek was no laughing matter.

"Now folks I know you're enjoying those new characters and all that but I mean... so what?" Discord started. "We have to give you something much much harder to fight. I mean Umbrum? Those hacks couldn't even stop you so what choice to we have but to give you something much better!"

"Woo! Bring it on!" A couple of voices rang out from the Griffon players and Zebra players.

"Though I think we should hear this from our three newest players that have joined to make this Crystalsoft event what it is through their voice acting chops... cause they couldn't do anything else right." Discord joked which got quite a few laughs though there were some pouts from a very weird Diamond Wolf costume with a fancy Rarity styled dress though no one could actually tell. "Here they are now. Your new cast!"

Out on the stage appeared two very familiar girls. Twilight Sparkle, princess edition wearing several pony paraphernalia, and Sunset Shimmer, also in pony paraphernalia. The two waved to their collective friends as the stage went dark.

"So... you've come to face me then, have you?" A voice rang out as the stomps of a heavier man stepped onto the stage. Everyone felt a chill go down their spines as a large man wearing demonic horns who stood taller than almost everyone in the room eyeing them evilly. "Pathetic... like any of you have a chance against me."

The booming laugh he gave off shook Twilight so much she really wished she was back in Equestria with her new Smarty Pants doll she hid from everyone under her bed. Sunset merely rolled her eyes but kept her professionalism up for the crowds.

"Now now... these guys'll handle you with a snap of their fingers. They already fought how many baddies?" Sunset taunted snapping her fingers in defiance.

"Y-yeah... it... it'll be easy." Twilight added though clearly she was still nervous.

"I'm sure." Tirek coldly dismissed their claims. "After all... I have many minions on my side already. Let's show these peons who they are messing with."

The room went dark once again before the screens started to play up once again. The Celestia voice over started.

"Long ago... before the world embraced harmony. There was nothing. And before nothing... there were monsters. These monsters adapted working towards subjugating all others either as their slaves... or their meals."

Several of the creatures shown in other trailers were merely shown in shadow as they froze ponies in either stone or ice. Another melted then as screams permeating the entire room torturous in their design.

"Before long the most dangerous of them all rose to fight... wielding stolen magic he subjugated the entirety of the world in fear alongside a brother. Thankfully harmony and friendship managed to give us a chance and those demons were cast back to Tartarus. Harmony was allowed to live but now... "

The screen cut as a strange Minotaur figure resembling Tirek sat upon his throne issuing orders from the Midnight Castle. He raised his arm and the screen shuddered.

A large penguin monarch with several ice golems attached the deer issuing orders as he created blizzards with his staff. His cruel blue beaked face twisted into a horrid smirk. The name King Charlatan scrolled on screen before fading to black.

Dark clouds flowed onto the screen as pegasi, thestrals and griffons looked around in panic. A large cloud took form and its eyes opened up. Within seconds a shadow hand erupted from its created mouth absorbing their shadows and causing them to fall to their doom. The ones who didn't get caught dove to save their fallen while the rest flew away. The name Arabus scrolled across the screen fading once again.

Crystal Ponies ran in fear as a large rock like dog rampaged through the town. With a couple of harsh stomps he turned the Crystal ponies to stone harshly roaring about how hideous they looked. The name Crunch scrolled on screen before fading as the monster raced towards the castle.

Diamond Wolves forced ice spell after ice spell as a large glow of lava flowed after them. It laughed as it burned down everything that got in his way while the Diamond Wolves were forced back. The name Lavan scrolled across the screen before fading like the rest.

Zebras rushed off while seven tiny foals of different races creepily stared before absorbing the souls of those who couldn't run away fast enough. Alchemists forced them back as hurriedly as they possibly could. The title they were given merely were question marks which added to the creepiness before the screen faded again.

Unicorns, dazed and confused, were ushered through the field in front of three witches. They waved their arms and the ponies were fed into a large purple slime. Four names scrolled on screen. Hydia, Reeka, and Draggle scrolled on screen. As malicious looking unicorns walked out of the slime it formed a misshapen face smiled at the malice exhibited. The name Smooze scrolled over the screen before fading again.

Earth ponies in bits and bridle sets were marched through fields growing strange looking red weed like plants by a tall cat woman. Large reptilian creatures with wings and dog faces flew around her making absolutely certain that no one stepped out of line. The name Catarina scrolled across when the cat lady appeared with a tiny subtitle of Abyssinian for her race appeared. Then the name Raptorians scrolled for all the flying dog reptiles. The screen faded as one of the raptorians picked up an earth pony who tried to run and dropped them from a very long height.

Yaks were being fought by a strange looking witch. She was old and decrepit but as soon as one yak got to close it's youth was drained and the witch became beautiful and far more deadly. She began casting magic that destroyed the yaks defenses effortlessly. The name Somnambula scrolled across the screen and faded like the rest.

Beneath the waves further than any had seen and teasing all the viewers seaponies and hippocampi swam together in relative peace up until several tentacles swarmed out of nowhere. A large octopus wielding a strange spear screamed beneath the waters laughing even at their panic as he tried to squeeze the life out of them. The name Squirk scrolled beneath him before fading away.

The camera settled back on Midnight Castle as the Minotaur sat unmoving on his chair. He opened a bag where a dark rainbow flowed around his hand seemingly radiating in a way that would make Equestrians tremble in fear. The name Tirek scrolled on screen... but was followed by a question mark as they didn't seem to be all there. As the camera scrolled over it faded just as the red skin from the first teaser trailer appeared.

"Demons will control the path you walk fools. Thirteen of the most dangerous creatures to ever walk this world. And soon enough another shall join my cabal." Tirek(?) laughed as the statue of Discord was plopped before him.

"Wait till they get a load of me." Discord's uncanny voice sounded out as the trailer finally cut off.

"So as you can see. Demons rule your world and I shall never let my iron grip go. So pray for mercy... though for your regrets... I have none." Tirek called out from the stage while his booming voice shook the entire group of con goers. There was legitimate fear on their eyes from how much they were facing.

He went quiet again as the screen started up and two familiar ponies started to speak.

"We gotta finish this spell. It's the only way to stop that demon." Twilight's natural cadence rang out as the pony version on the screen poured over her map.

"Then stop putting your snout to paper and let's get moving. This world needs us more than ever." Sunset Shimmer announced taking a brave stand for the camera as the two began to march over the hellish landscape towards the Midnight Castle.

The two on stage took point as Tirek escaped from the stage.

"And we'll be there with you to stop him." Sunset smiled out towards everyone.

"We won't let him win will we?" Twilight added as the two joined shoulder to shoulder.

"Ascension is almost out. Be there!" The two called out receiving the cheers and applause from all the hype that was leveled.

"Before we forget... our illustrious president Sombra wants to remind all that he will be playing the game here on site along with a select group of people to test out the new features later today. Remember first come first serve and those with their specialty ticket they received can get the first play. You know who you are so enjoy having fun." Twilight announced giving everyone a bigger shock than they had at first.

Special Announcement, a guide to the practical details of World of Horsecraft has been created by QuartzScale.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/12WUEDLO756a1vicr8wGurpzB2LXDbSjyQX_xDl-hZ0Y/edit

Hope this helps you with your future editions.

-

Session 83.1 Alex Warlorn

King Leo's mereponies, and Queen Novo's seaponies, were trading death glares at each other.

"Get out of our ocean!!!" Shouted a blue merpony with red spines holding a water proof sign.

"Didn't see your name on it siren!" Said a hippogriff in seapony form.

"I AM NOT A SIREN YOU NAG!!!" They began try and strangle each other.

"It's going to be a red tide soon of this keeps up." King Leo sigh, raised out of the ocean and sitting on a throne made out of ocean water.

"You didn't care about us being in the water before!" Queen Novo said.

"You were in your own private little subterranean sea before! You can't just cross international borders and build houses in the Merpony domain and not expect my ponies not to get angry!"

"I thought you were a myth until your ponies showed up on our doorstep!"

"Well, now you know, and Aquaestria has had claim on that parts of the sea long before you started building houses in it."

"You weren't using it!"

"So if I'm not using a room in my house, you're free to turn it into your bedroom?"

===

"This Massive Affect game from the human world is interesting, though I wish you were allowed to play through this 'first contact war.'" Luna remarked.

"Lulu we're going to HAVE a first contact war unless we can get the seaponies and merponies to reconcile!"

"Cousin Leo is warm and reasonable, I can't see him wanting trouble."

"It isn't about wanting to start a fight. This is about a territory dispute."

"Whoo-hoo! Destroy each other!" Waved one of Adagio's cousin's waving a way and wearing a fin band watching through a crystal ball. "Can't we see this close up?"

"NO! Give two sides a common enemy, and they'll forget their loathing of each other. Best to just sit it out." Said another of the Dazzlings' cousins, the one who had tried to date Zephyr Breeze.

Session 83.2 Mtangalion Ardashir BrutalityInc SomeRandomMinion Alex Warlorn sonicandmario826

(Continuation of Ember and Garble accidentally engaged).

"So... when's the wedding," someone asked and was instantly turned to ash, or would have been if that person hadn't been Spike the dragon, "Yeah, that's why they made me ask."

Garble said, "What, it's just some dumb old tradition nodragon cares about, right?"

Ember snapped, "Maybe, if I wasn't the DRAGON LORD!"

Garble said, "Well, just change the law then, your hotness. Highness! I meant highness!"

Ember growled.

"Hey, wait, if I did marry you, then I'd be Dragon Lord too, right?" He fantasized about all of dragonkind being required to bring a share of their hoards to their new king. "Oh, yeah, baby."

Ember said, "Don't even think it."

Rarity said, "I'll start planning at once!" She Laughed maniacally.

"They'd probably need asbestos dresses for the bridesmaids, because Ember and Garble will end up breathing (literal) fire at each other."

Rarity said, "Already covered, darling! I made them years ago, along with my bridal gowns designed for undersea wear."

Rainbow Dash asked, "What, do you have dresses for giant ponies and formal space suits too?"

Rarity nodded. "Of course, darling, I'm ready for any sartorial emergency."

Dash frowned. "I bet you don't have outfits ready for... uh... griffons at the Great Galloping Gala!"

"Pish posh, I've had a gown and suit ready for a certain couple for some time now! Give me a difficult one, darling."

"Okay... instead of griffons at a pony Gala, how about if we all go to a Griffon Kingdom Gala?!"

"Which style of chain mail do you prefer?"

"GAAAH!!! Wait, are you doing this because you want Ember not hook up with Spike when he gets bigger?"

"SHAME Rainbow Dash! SHAME! I am not so selfish nor so petty. I am doing what I've always done, help ponies... and dragons, look their best."

Torch roared, "They're too young! If they were becoming mates, which they're not!"

Princess Twilight said, "Well, according to the dragon lore you *finally* sent me, dragons can enjoy... you know, adult activities... long before they reach egg-laying age and size."

Torch snorted flame!

Twilight remarked, her mane blazing. "Yeah, sorry, I was fireproof before I was an Alicorn."

Torch said, "... I knew that."

Pinkie Roasted marshmallows over Twilight's still-burning mane.

"...Let ‘s just hope Torch does not go with the whole ' if I kill him then there won't be a wedding ' method. "

Torch looked ready to pound Garble for what Twi just suggested. "He can't do 'adult things' with Ember if he's been reduced to a pile of broken scales."

Ember tapped her chin with a, "Hmmmm."

"You can't be serious!" Garble exclaimed.

"Quiet, I'm thinking."

Applejack asked, "So what, if ol' Torch and that Deer goddess Astrid wanted ta have a night on the town; you'd have a mountain-sized fireproof tux AND an even BIGGER ice-proof dress for 'em?"

Rarity silently wheeled out both of of the wedding attire Applejack has described. "Why did you think I had that immense warehouse installed in back of my boutique?"

In a Possible timeline

And then two giantic forms--one draconic, one cervine--covered Ponyville.

Astrid smiling said, "Ah, I always like it when Tinies are punctual. My dress is ready, and I didn't even have to threaten to sit on anyone's house. Even if that's always fun."

Torch said, "Why even give them a warning? What's the fun of being big if we don't enjoy our size?"

Astrid THUNKed down a giant bag of coins down. "Because then ALL the tinies get squished, and we can't order pancakes around. And I ate TEN pirate islands and bandit towns on the way here, so coming from ME that means something." She Snatched up the outfits. "Come on, Torchie; there's a new play in Manehatten, 'Hoofilton'. I've heard the songs are amazing! Plus, there're lots of restaurants we can eat."

The earth shakes as both titans start THOOM-ing off into the distance...

In That Possible Timeline's Possible future

Ember asked, "Huh. So you eat cities for fun, chop mountains in half, and sat on entire armies just because you can?"

Astrid nodded, "Yup."

"...Neat."

In That Possible Timeline's further future

Liekki shouted, "Big Siiisss! My wings got caught in my antlers again! Pleeeeaaase get them untangled!"

(AN: Leikki is Finnish for "Flame".)

In The Possible Timeline's Present

Dragon Lord Ember incredulous asked, "Dad, WHAT?!"

Torch replied, "Come now, Ember! You know this isn't the first time something like this has happened! Remember Princess Zmeitsa, Dragon Lord of the Roedinan Dragonflight?"

Astrid said, "Ah yes! My daddy told me: Still can't believe she and Welges fell in love and got hitched - even made her a goddess of both the Bogolenya AND the Dragon Pantheons after she died. Always wondered what she saw in that dirt-loving death god of the Deers...?"

Ember, "I sure have an interesting family tree."

And just to make things more chaotic, Discord popped in. "I guess Torch and Celestia didn't work out."

Discord then proceeded to show several lewd picture of Celestia with Torch that Twilight quickly vaporized.

Torch said, "Oh, we're still friends; we even meet up for coffee sometimes. She just kept insisting on vegetarian meals when we ate out (how can she not think Diamond Dogs are tasty?), and said my gem-mountain was uncomfortable to sit on...it just didn't quite work."

Celestia popped out of nowhere, "We're still on good terms. Torch is always fun on movie night." She Giggled.

===

In This Timeline

Rarity looked at the sky. "Hmm..."

"What? Were you expecting Torch and a giant deer goddess to elope or something?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Maybe..."

"I got it, you weren't dragons when it happened, so dragon tradition doesn't apply?" Twilight asked.

Everyone glared at her.

"Was worth a shot."

"But seriously Ember," Spike said, "Can you just like Garble suggested, change the law? You're dragon lord."

"I'm pretty sure law changes like that don't come into effect until the NEXT dragon lord takes power."

"Well... I'm coming out of retirement then! Reinstate me as Dragon Lord!"

"Spike it doesn't work like that!"

"My term never ended, I stepped down, I challenge you to a game of dragon mahjong to serve as dragon lord for a few seconds for the law revision to come into effect!"

"Actually we just call it mahjong, and the pony version pony mahjong. And Spike, that is making a mockery out of every single dragon tradition in existence! If the dragon lord can ignore tradition, how is any dragon expected to respect it?"

Session 83.3 Mtangalion

"Now, hold on just one danged second," said Applejack. "If there's one thing Ah know as a proud member of the Apple family, it's peculiar and convoluted marriage traditions! We should go back to the original dragon laws and see if we can't work this thing out."

Princess Twilight grinned, looking slightly unhinged from all the bickering. "Original dragon laws, you say? It just so happens that I have them right here! Well, not right *here*... it's in my dimensional pocket, which is technically here, and technically not! The distinction between the two states is a fascinating theoretical question that..."

Applejack stamped a forehoof. "Focus, Twi."

"Right! I'll just bring it out and... could you back up? I need more room."

AJ frowned, but she stepped back a couple paces.

"Further back." She motioned with a hoof. "Keep going... Okay!" Twilight's horn flashed, and a pile of stone slabs the size of a house foundation appeared, slamming to the ground. "The Revised Modern Codex of Dragon Law, abridged!" she declared proudly. "Forty tons of bedrock granite, with forged tungsten carbide loops for binding!"

Applejack's eyebrow twitched. "Ya can't forge tungsten."

Twilight smirked. "Dragons can. Now, betrothal customs are here, on page six..." Twilight's horn lit up like a blazing purple torch as she levitated the book and turned the pages. "I suggested adding chapters and an index, but Torch wouldn't hear of it."

AJ sighed at the incomprehensible claw marks gouged into the stone. "Twilight, why'd ya bring this book out when ya knew Ah wouldn't be able to read it anyway?"

Twilight bristled at this. "It's the heaviest book in my collection by at least two orders of magnitude! How could I not show it off?"

Applejack could no longer resist facehoofing. "Ugh, just... Fine, you read the book, sugarcube. Ah'll say what ideas I've got! First of all, Garble and Ember weren't in no ‘den.' There were in a cage!"

But Twilight was already shaking her head. "A den is defined as an enclosed space just big enough for the two dragons."

"They weren't dragons at the time."

"Already covered that one. It doesn't matter."

"Well, how ‘bout this, then? Ember and Garble didn't *choose* to sleep in the ‘den' together! They were held captive!" Applejack grinned. "No way that's a legal engagement!"

"Actually," said Twilight, "there was a time in prehistory when dragon clans would actually try to kidnap young dragons so they could force a new or future Dragon Lord to marry into their clan. It's all legal. A daring and respected political maneuver, even. They called all of this ‘the Mating Game.'"

For some reason, Pinkie Pie started giggling.

Meanwhile, Garble was pleading with Ember with unaccustomed patience. Also, unaccustomed bravery, since Torch was right there too, slamming a fist into a scaly palm whenever Garble looked his way. "Look," said Garble. "All I'm saying is, think about it. Would it really be so bad, I mean, you and me... someday? Who would your pop make you marry for politics and crap if you *weren't* betrothed?"

Session 83.4 Alex Warlorn

Discord's voice came out over the school's recently magically installed PSA system. "Attention all creatures on school grounds! I! The great and really great Discord shall be giving a public example of how chaos magic works. Anyone creature, oh who am I kidding, any canine creature who is currently in disguise wearing a costume, I shall now zap so you actually be that creature, and retroactively remember only that identity as shall everyone else, including if you were disguised as someone else. So anyone who has a identical twin right, think really hard if you really always had a twin."

Princess Twilight stormed into her office, horn sparkling. "DISCORD! YOU BETTER HAVE BEEN BLUFFING!!"

"Oh of course I was bluffing, OR WAS I?! Heheh. Come on it's all in good fun."

Cherry Blossom shook her head, "Cheerilee, I SWEAR I've always been your twin sister! You went to Manehattan and stood in for me during a wrestling match remember?!"

"Candy... " Bon Bon said. "You weren't a diamond dog in a costume of me a second ago were you?"

"Of course I wasn't!!!... Was I?"

Twilight groaned. "Even if Discord wasn't bluffing, we're gonna now have every twin in Ponyville wondering about their own identity!"

Session 83.5 Ardashir

Alisa and Pavel both gulped when they heard Discord's words over the speaker. They glanced at the recently removed ponysuits and sighed in relief.

"Pavel like ponies," the puppy said, "but not want to be pony forever. Pavel likes being wolf."

"As does Alisa," the she-wolf said, holding the puppy close. "Alisa is liking Miss Rarity. She is not liking to BE Miss Rarity for permanent."

Meanwhile down in the cellar Garble, desperate for something to distract him from Torch's plans for 'the dragon who defiled his daughter', looked at the crate of Storm King brand fireworks that Grubber had opened.

"Hey, shorty, you sure about these things?" Garble grunted with effort as he picked up one skyrocket almost as big as he was. He leaned it against the wall as he puzzled out most of the words on the paper attacked to it. Storm King Balefire Skyrocket Special, Not Responsible for Death or Disfigurement, Do Not Use Inside Building. Beneath the warning were several skull and crossbones figures. "I wanna impress those jerk ponies when they do their big fireworks contest tonight and win the grand prize. What's it for anyway?"

"Ah, something about the time Princess Sun-butt beat half a dozen attacking dragons at once, or something," Grubber said as he left the fuse lying in the floor. He saw how Garble was poking at the skyrocket and froze. "Hey! Be careful with these, Storm King only made a few of them for the armada before he decided to sell them for fireworks instead. Something about being too unstable for use on an airship."

"Yeah, right," Garble sniffed. He kicked the skyrocket. "What did he make them from, dragonfire?" He puffed some flame out, Grubber raced for the door, and Garble looked down to see the fuse burning off with lightning speed.

Garble just looked at the massive skyrocket and groaned.

"Not again."

(OOC: If someone else wants to cover the ensuing eruption, go ahead.)

Session 83.6 Mtangalion (with addition by me)

Just then, the real Rarity poked her nose into the office again. "Twilight darling, how many maids did you hire? I only ask because there's two of them arguing about who's responsible for sweeping my classroom today."

"Eight," said Twilight at once.

"Six," said Spike, reading from a scroll that he'd just pulled out of Twilight's desk.

Alisa tapped her chin with a claw. "If Alisa had sneaky plan to place deep cover puppy protectors, she'd make them maids." She smirked, wagging her tail. "Maids are best disguise, ponies never think twice about them! But Alisa remembers, she decided not to do that for... some reason?" She blinked, then growled.

Rarity tisked. "Oh dear, I was afraid of that. Well, come on, let's go find the 'maids' whose names aren't written down in the payroll."

Twilight started to follow her, then froze. "Oh no, the wardrobe! We have to lock up the roleplaying costumes before anycreature puts one on!"

"Pfft, yeah right," said Spike. "Even if Discord's curse affected those costumes too, nocreature would be dumb enough to try one on after they just heard Discord's announcement."

Twilight grabbed a framed photograph from her desk, the one that she and her five best friends had taken after they defeated Nightmare Moon. "Then explain why our griffon friend Blackbeak is a blue rainbow-maned pegasus in this picture!"

Discord twiddled his claws, a halo floating over his head. "Oopsie?"

-

"Hey Blackbeak," Gilda said to him, "I've never really thought about how totally hot you are. Wanna make out?"

Session 83.7 Alex Warlorn

"TWILIGHT! Tempest Shadow went to visit the Yaks!" Spike shouted.

"OH NO! They'll pound her into a pancake as soon as she opens her mouth!"

"WE YAKS LOVE PONY TEMPEST SHADOW! SHE NOT WASTE TIME WITH PONY PLATITUDES! ... We give her honorary-honorary Yak status!"

"Uh... why not honorary Yak status?"

"Apparently ancient dragon lord was named honorary Yak, and was promised to be only one. Then we forget it over thousands of years, and name Pink Pony honorary Yak... Yaks and Dragons have war... "

"Oh."

Session 83.8 Grogar-the-Oneser

"Welp the latest villain was... was..."

"Lazy" "Dumb?" "Way to obsess with her phone?"

Everyone look at Pinkie "What, it wasn't like the mirror or Rock, if the battery died then she would have been so screwed over."

"Yeah but ironically her choosing a parade help in our favor, everyone who isn't canterlot high or crystal prep thought we were part of the show." Sunset said.

"Still as villains go... she was rather easily handled." Rarity stated, just as a tomato hit her in the face. "Speaking of villains..."

"THAT FOR MAKING LAME COSTUME VERSION OF ME YOU JERK!!" Adagio roared as she began throwing more tomatoes.

(Btw anyone but me sees other employess banning Twilight and Sunset from playing carnival games, due to their obsession).

Session 83.9 Alex Warlorn

"DISCORD! YOU BETTER HAVE A CURSE ESCAPE CLAUSE!" Twilight snarled.

"Well, it's wasn't really a curse but-" Discord had this feeling of the elements of harmony glowing from that psychotic blood thirsty tree that persecuted poor innocent gods of chaos and disharmony far away... "OF COURSE I DID!!! I'm not evil anymore- REMEMBER?! BUDDIES?! ... I'm a trickster mentor now! So of course I'd have a way to fix it! I mean, it's not like I was trying to prove how have sudden random changes in reality can be constructive and give happiness to the world..."

Feeling of the psycho tree again...

"I TOTALLY INCLUDED ONE!" Discord snapped his fingers, freezing time, then he took Starlight Glimmer's spell, went back in time, and told himself to include a curse escape-clause, and returned to the present, and unfroze time. "Just get them to put this Rainbow Dash costume, and these two Diamond Dog costumes... and get them to say 'this is me' in front of a mirror, and POOF! Reality back to how you ponies prudishly prefer it, all consistent and stable!"

"See Twilight? We could trust Discord." Fluttershy said with a smile... then gave Discord a lot.

'Yes dear. Will behave better dear.' Discord thought automatically.

Session 83.10 Alex Warlorn

"You hear?! They wanna turn us into disgusting diamond dogs!" Said Minty Fresh the maid.

"I think they said Diamond wolves." Said Lemon Fresh the maid.

"Whatever! We gotta get out of here!"

"To where all ponies go who don't want to be found! Manhattan!"

Session 83.11 Mtangalion (with extra bit by me)

Blackbeak snickered at the Rainbow Dash costume, then laughed uproariously in Twilight Sparkle's face. "I'm sorry, you want me to put some lame costume on and say what?!" The dark-coated griffon shook his head. "That ain't me, babe."

Twilight groaned. "I know it's hard to believe, Blackbeak. I mean, we've known each other for years, but Discord says..."

"Discord says, Discord says," mocked Gilda. "He'd say anything for a laugh."

Discord blinked. "Well, that's true, but..."

Gilda grinned slyly at Blackbeak. "Let's tell those guys to scram so we can get back to making out. Ugh, how come you spend so much time hanging with ponies, anyway?"

Blackbeak grinned handsomely at her, fluffing out his wings. "Eh, sometimes I don't know myself, babe, but I sure wouldn't be where I am today without my pony pals. National hero of Equestria AND the only griffon member of the Wonderbolts!"

Fluttershy tapped her hoof at Discord expectantly, and he sighed in a huff. "Would you excuse me one moment?" Another quick trip to the past later, Discord reappeared and said, "Fine. We'll use the backup backup curse escape clause!"

Applejack glared at him. "Or you could snap your flim-flaming claws and fix everything."

"That's not a real expletive!" sputtered Discord.

"Is now."

Discord yanked his own eyebrows off in a fit of temper, but they instantly grew back, so it wasn't that satisfying. "Look..." He popped across the room and whispered in Twilight's ear. "Just have one of the afflicted beat me in any challenge, and the curse will be undone for everyone."

"What, that's it?" asked Twilight. "So I could just say... Hey Blackbeak, I heard that Discord is faster than you! He could totally make it to Fluttershy's cottage and back before you can!"

Blackbeak whooshed across the room to Twilight so fast, every paper on her desk went flying. "I don't think so, sugar! One-two-three-GO!!" Everything in the room went flying again.

"Well, that's just silly," said Discord. "I'll just teleport there and back in an instant, and... oh my! A hand cramp! Can't... snap my fingers..."

Meanwhile in Manehatten, Minty Fresh and Lemon Fresh were just reaching the climax of a grand Heart Song that had swept up everyone in their new apartment building.

"And yes we'll clean!"

"Yes, we'll clean!"

"Everything!"

"Everything!!"

"It's our... dream!!"

With a great flash of dissipating chaos magic, the pair became a male and female Diamond Wolf, still wearing the aprons and holding the mops they'd been dancing with, but the crowd of their new neighbors continued their thunderous applause, not noticing the change.

One of the new neighbors, another Diamond Wolf in fact, came forward and shook their paws. "Welcome to new Manehatten Pack! There's no hiding here, you'll like it way better than smelly old Icehome!"

Gilda jumped six feet away from her old friend. "What the hay, Dash? You catch hugging fever from Garble or something?"

Rainbow Dash blushed, coughing. "Discord did it?"

Discord admired the two stamps on his new frequent time-travelers card. "Whatever makes you feel better."

Starlight Glimmer tapped him on the shoulder. "And here's your 'I created an alternate universe' club membership card."

Session 83.12 Ardashir

"I just wanted to thank you again for making that dress for the suit," Sci-Twi said to Rarity as she carefully set the female Diamond Wolf costume into the carry case in her room. The girls had briefly retired to their suite to get ready for dinner, with the 'Twilight the Diamond Wolf' flirting with every guy along the way. Most of them reacted well, too, leaving Rarity grinding her teeth. Twilight seemed oblivious, saying, "It really makes it look great!"

"I'm so glad for you, dear," Rarity grated out. Twi smiled and left, the head sitting on the bed and seeming to leer at the fashionista with those long eyelashes and fangs bared grin. She looked around the room, but no, sadly there was nothing she could use to 'accidentally' destroy that horror.

"Yeesh, Rares," Applejack said as she left the bathroom -- a nice sizeable one; CrystalSoft was springing for the room, a full luxury suite with all the trimmings. "Ah remember a few weeks ago when ya wore that fox-lady costume for Alisa after ya lost a bet from gaming with her. It didn't bother ya then, what's wrong with this one?" She jerked her thumb at the costume's head.

"For one thing, I admit, it makes me jealous to see Twilight getting all that attention by acting like some lupine strumpet in that suit," Rarity growled the words out. "It took me years to master my social skills, and she gets that much attention just by pitting that costume on? Secondly," Rarity shivered. "It has too many bad memories."

"Ya mean that new amusement park that asked ya ta make them costumes?"

"Yes. Those mascot siren suits!" Rarity dramatically threw one arm across her eyes and flopped onto the bed. "I never had so many demands for a rework in my life! Constant complaints about the 'inaccuracy'! They looked just like the Sirens everyone faces in World of Horsecraft, but all I heard was, 'No, no, still not right, redo them!' LIke they know what an actual siren looks like --"

She froze, sat up and returned Applejack's stare.

"You don't think?..."

***

"For the last time," Vignette Valencia said to the women facing her as she held out three incredibly silly-looking siren costumes, "you either wear these, or janitor's clothes!"

"... Fine," Adagio growled as she took her costume. Aria followed suit with ill grace, and Sonata smiled as she slipped into hers. Adagio grumbled, "This is just until I get my royalties from the Mexicolt publisher of my witchcraft books, sisters. Then we can get rid of these -- things."

"Whatever," Vignette huffed. She thrust her finger into the costumed Adagio's chest. "But until then, you're the three Seasick Sirens of Equestria-land Park, understood?"

"Yes, ma'am," the three said in cheery voices that no one who knew them would have recognized before they headed out for another day of minimum wage.

Session 83.13 Alex Warlorn

Spike said, "After you ask the dwarven women to shave their beards, they pick up their battle axes, scream a war cry, and charge at you for insulting their femininity, calling you a stupid elf."

"Nice goin' Rarity!" AJ snapped.

"My cleric serves the goddess of beauty! It's literally her divine mission to aid with beauty everywhere! Those ogres didn't complain when I gave them pretty hair-bows!"

Session 83.14 Ardashir (with bit added by me)

"Those hair-bows were made outta th' bones of their slain lich overlord. Y'all think that mighta made some difference?"

"But they did a wonderful job of holding the ogresses' hair in place over their faces."

"How the hay did that make things more beautiful, anyway?" Dash asked.

"Well," Rarity looked embarrassed. "We didn't have to LOOK at their faces after that, which was a definite improvement."

Fluttershy gasped. "Rarity! My druid is very disappointed in you! Shouldn't the mission of your goddess be to bring out the inner beauty of all things?!"

"Fluttershy, nopony likes it when they're lectured by an outsider about their ow religion." Rarity reminded her.

"Oh! Sorry!"

Spike said, "May I remind you the angry dwarve ladies are still chasing after you, and with their superior constitution scores, you are going to tire out before them."

Session 83.15 Kendell2

"Okay, Ah might have found somethin'," said Applejack, continuing to look through dragon law. "It says here that any dragon of proper station can challenge the betrothed to trial by combat at a 'time and place of their choosing', so we just find a worthy dragon tah challenge Garble and make it so far in the future it doesn't matter, then if Ember DOES find Mr. Right, the two of them can forfeit and problem solved!"

"Except we need a dragon of proper station. That means someone as prestigious or more so than Garble, and he DID come in third in the gauntlet..." said Twilight.

Spike blinked at this point, finding all eyes on him. "What?"

"Former Dragon Lord..." Twilight pointed out.

"You're also part of a noble dragon bloodline," Torch admitted.

"...I am?"

"Yeah, remember the Spike from those old Age of Myth stories? Pretty sure you're related to him..." Spike then had to avoid being sucked into Torch's nose as the former Dragon Lord sniffed him. "Smell like him anyway. Nice guy, his adopted mother was one of the only ponies I was ever afraid of."

Garble forced himself not to laugh. "You?! Afraid of a namby pamby pony?!"

"Don't laugh! If she'd heard you say you were gonna declare war on Equestria, you'd have been a turnip before you could blink!...Nice mare to her friends though. My kinda lady: fierce as a storm but loyal to her friends as a dragon to her horde."

"...Only other option Ah see is if Garble's parents disapprove as he's still a teenager..." said Applejack, Twilight too distracted by lore to focus.

Session 83.16 Kendell2

Going back to finally finish something from a long time ago with the Mane Six meeting their Chaos selves.

"So..." said Accord, looking at them. "Did you learn anything?"

The two sets of Bearers looked to each other.

"...Ah guess Ah learned that there's a time for truth..." said Applejack.

"And a time for fantasies," Orangejack replied with a smile.

"A time to be loyal..." Rainbow Dash started.

"And a time to be free..." Chaos Rainbow replied, sharing a high hoof with her alternate self.

"A time to be generous," Rarity started.

"And a time to pursue your desires," Chaos Rarity replied, the two sharing a bow.

"A time to laugh!" Pinkie Pie chimed in.

"And a time to be brave," said Pinkamena, the two exchanging a hoof shake.

"A time to be kind..." started Fluttershy.

"And a time to show Empathy..." Chaos Fluttershy replied, the two sharing a shy smile.

"And it's always time to be friendly," said Twilight and Chaos Twilight at the same time, giving a more formal hoofshake.

"...So...anypony want to play another game? asked Fluttershy.

No one objected. They had an interdimensional game room for a reason after all.

Session 83.17 Ardashir

(OOC: Harking back to Chrysalis' latest coup in World of Horsecraft)

Rarity went prowling through the convention, looking for Twilight and shuddering at the idea of seeing that ghastly suit again. Along the way she found CrystalSoft employees, Gilda among them, being cornered by angry gamers complaining about some new unicorn in the game.

"Turned my Earth Pony champion Iron Hooves into a housecat!" One irate fan yelled at Gilda. The still transformed Gilda's feathers and tail bristled as the player yelled, "That's not supposed to be possible for another player to do! What's going on?"

"Look, pal," Gilda near growled, holding a finger up -- a polite one. "That's been happening for three days now, an' we're trying to find whatever dweeb is pulling this. We know it's not the hackers from a few months back..."

Rarity left them and the argument behind her as she headed down another hallway. She froze upon hearing her friend's voice coming from inside the room ahead.

"Hey! NO! Don't do that, whoever you are! I have to have something that can defend against these attacks, and -- GAH!"

"Twilight, dear are you alright?" Rarity hurried around the corner. Twilight was thankfully minus that suit. She and Sunset were seated close together, watching the screen of Twi's laptop as they ran their WoH characters through an older adventure.

On the screen, Twilight and Sunset's unicorn mages were being confronted by a white and blue unicorn with a crown for a cutie mark. A message hovered over her, reading 'Majesty, strongest of all unicorns'.

Even as Rarity watched she cast a spell that tore right through the defenses of Twi and Sunset. She twirled her horn and with a zap, turned both their characters into timber wolves. They promptly raced off for players to eat.

"How did that happen?" Sunset asked in disbelief. "Changes like that are supposed to be impossible!"

"I know," Twi groaned, rubbing her forehead. "Rarity! You saw that, right?"

"I did, dears," the fashionista said. "In fact that's way I was looking for you. The CMC told me they'd lost their best characters in the game to some new unicorn, and I've heard other gamers complaining about it... Do you think it's those hackers we beat, back for more?"

Twi frowned and turned back to her computer. Twilight and Sunset watched silently as she examined its memory. She sat back with a look of confusion on her face.

"It's not them. It's another player with some really overpowered spells."

"But who?"

And somwhere/somewhen beyond the mirror:

"BWA-AHAHA!" Chrysalis laughed for glee as she blasted another of those phony ponies from that other-place, turning them into soap bubbles. "If only it was this easy in real life! But at least I can entertain myself and torment these furless vermin!"

Behind her, her remaining Changelings looked on warily.

"Look at it this way," one muttered, "at least she's not having us pretend to be Starlight and her friends so she can spell-blast us again."

Session 83.18 Kendell2

"Figures somebody would manage to snag an overpowered artifact that no one was ever supposed to get..." said human Discord, looking at Pony Chrysalis's rampage. "Well, joke is on you! I knew this day would come!"

Discord activated his computer and looked at Screwball. "Honey, you're ungrounded."

"Yay!" Screwball cheered.

"The day has come to activate 'her'!" said Discord in as ominous a voice as possible.

"...Which her?" asked Screwball cocking her head, pulling up a huge folder labeled 'NPCs to be activated 'When This Day Comes', then opening a sub folder labeled 'Female'.

Discord blinked. "Oh...right...The most overpowered scrapped summon in the history of gaming!" he announced, pressing his 'lightning effected button'.

Screwball gasped. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, we shall fight overpowered supposed to be scrapped item with overpowered scrapped summon!"

Screwball nodded. "I'm on it!"

Sombra rubbed his forehead. "Just launching Ascension and have THIS joker to deal with..."

"Don't worry, I have the answer to our problems!" said Discord, entering dramatically with simulated thunder and lightning.

"...How?" asked human Chrysalis sounding slightly unnerved.

"I once created a WOH summon, based off an ancient legend, that was so powerful. So gamebreakingly overpowered. That if she were in the game ALL CHALLENGE would cease to exist!" Discord announced. "So I sealed her away in the deepest recesses of WOH's code for just this occasion! The Crown of Majesty was actually based on her!"

"...Why didn't you sick this broken, uber summon on the hackers?" asked Sombra, unamused.

"We didn't want them to rage quit until we could track their single, this time it's even more overpowered and we have no choice," said Discord.

"...Good point..."

"Also, I wouldn't have gotten to see the entire server team up on an overpowered OC..."

Sombra sighed. "Of course."

Diane blinked, watching Screwball armor up in powered armor from that one post apocalyptic game Sombra had shot down. "...Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Nope!" Screwball replied. "But I've got a back up!" she said, pulling out a file called 'Screwball back up' with a happy picture of herself. "So let's do it!"

Screwball teleported them to a dummied out section of the game world, which she and Diane called 'Oblivion', to an old unfinished pink castle. Screwball entered and put a hoof on a scanner which accepted it, then put up her visor and scanned her eyes, then finally went to a microphone. "Screwball!"

Suddenly several dozen completely invincible, infinitely respawning uber enemies appeared around them, weapons pointed at Diane.

"And guest..."

The enemies vanished, leaving Diane trembling. "If I had a bladder I think I would've wet myself..."

"Come on!" said Screwball, pulling her into the castle, past dozens of dorment, invincible, uber overpowered enemies that would infinitely respawn, past several 'Admin Only' doors, and finally to a box chained on a pedestal inside a glass case labled 'In Case 'This Day Comes' Break Glass. She pulled a giant comically oversized mallet out of her mane and smashed the glass, then produced a chest which she opened, revealing a series of smaller chests until she finally produced a key and opened the box to reveal...four Golden Horseshoes. "The most overpowered item in all of WOH..."

Chrysalis blinked, noticing the screen suddenly fill with mist. "What's happening?"

Screwball stood on a mountain overlooking Chrysalis's PC. She held up the Golden Horseshoes. "From ancient past, I call upon the First Queen of Ponyland! Come forth and defend Equestria as you did in days long past!...Pretty please?"

The four Horseshoes circled around and shot up like a comet before crashing down in front of the PC, forming into an identical, but far more motherly and regal, version.

"I am Queen Majesty! Queen of Ponyland! And you shall not bring anymore harm upon my people!" the summon announced.

Chrysalis fired a 'turn to bubbles' spell...which was deflected by a shield. "Uh oh..." she said, trying to log off and fight another day.

"You dare threaten my ponies and invade?
Me you shall not evade!"

'You can't run' said the screen.

"...Shoot..." Chrysalis muttered before having to quickly put up a shield spell to deflect an incoming barrage of One Hit Kill spells and engaging the summon in battle. "Bring it on! I beat Celestia in real life!"

"Technically my Queen, she beat us to a pulp round one and you've never had a rematch so it's a tie..." said a drone who was promptly kicked through several walls.

Session 83.19 Mtangalion

Rainbow Dash leaned halfway out of their hotel suite, a little red-faced and grinning too broadly. "Hey Twi, come play Cards Against Equinity with us! You know you wanna!"

Sci-Twi paled. "Cards Against WHAT now?! Did somebody at the convention make that up, or did you actually get it from Equestria?"

Dash smirked. "Nah, one of your brother's friends was selling ‘em! C'mon, don't be a stick in the mud like Princess You. I mean, all I did was tell her the name of the game, and she practically flew out of here."

"Okay, settle down everybody," came Applejack's voice from inside the room. "Heh heh, or should Ah say ‘everypony?' Next round! The *blank* shall last forever!"

Twilight raised her palms, backing away from Rainbow. "Actually, I'm starting to think Princess Twilight had the right idea! I'll catch up with you guys later!" She grinned sheepishly and retreated down the hallway.

"That said," mused Sci-Twi to herself, "what else can I do this late in the day?" She fumbled for the convention schedule in her backpack, suddenly very aware of the looks she was getting from everyone she walked past. All of these people knew her now, or *thought* they knew her, thanks to Princess Twilight's starring role in the new expansion. Even the couple in the Shining Armor and Cadence suits stopped... whatever they were doing, and turned to watch.

She was on the verge of a panic attack when her awareness suddenly latched onto a familiar voice, one she couldn't quite place at first...

"Did I stutter? Three hundred shares in exchange for our seventy thousand!" The voice was coming from none other than the young man in the Diamond Wolf costume from before. By chance, he was sitting on a bench facing away from her, with the head of the costume sitting on the seat beside him so he could talk on his cell phone. The blond-haired head nodded. "Fine, get me a meeting and I'll negotiate with him myself. Five minutes, that's all I need!"

Twilight blinked. "Blueblood?"

The young man froze, then hastily snatched the wolf head and put it back on before turning to face her. "What's that? Clever girl, but she's hearing things! Only wolf here!"

Twilight grinned. "Come on, I know it's you." She moved towards him, getting a closer look at his suit. "Wait, this looks familiar. You have one of Alisa's costumes too?"

Blueblood sighed, then took the head off again to reveal his face, chuckling handsomely. "Well, she makes the best, and I do deserve the best."

"I can't believe I didn't realize before," said Twilight. "You sounded like a completely different person when you were talking ‘in character.'"

Blueblood raised an eyebrow. "Really, now. I believe I'm not the only one. Strange as it seems, I find that I've missed you, Twilight Sparkle. You were always a bright spot around the halls of Crystal Prep, when you allowed yourself to shine properly."

While Twilight backed up and adjusted her glasses, blushing, Blueblood checked his phone again. "I have a proposition... go fetch your own wolf costume, and we can... prowl the halls together." Blueblood winked. "Perhaps I can even endeavor to teach you a proper Diamond Wolf accent."

Twilight looked at him skeptically. "Really? You don't think omitting the definite and indefinite articles is just a lazy shortcut on the part of the writers to make Diamond Wolves sound foreign and whimsical?"

Blueblood gasped. "As somewhat of a Diamond Wolf aficionado, I must protest! There's more to properly styled Diamond Wolf dialog than that, and you know it! Besides, there are many plausible reasons why a culture could have evolved such a dialect."

Twilight laughed. "Prowling the halls, huh?" In her costume, she'd be... well, just another costume, not the spitting image of the co-star of Ascension. She grinned. "Sure, why not?"

Session 83.20 Alex Warlorn

Princess Twilight Sparkle meanwhile, the person who had actually signed the contract with Crystal Soft, was excited at seeing the convention first hoof, er, hand. It had stopped being disturbing, and instead exciting seeing the parallels between the realities.

"I wonder if counterparts of the young six are going to show up at Canterlot High now as new students when the new school year starts!" Princess Twilight thought. "Though that does raise the question of where the Tartarus Wallflower Blush's pony counterpart is, along with all the rest."

-

"But my king!" Asked the deer Gloriosa Daisy, "With this new camp, we'll be able to show all the glories of the deer kingdom to young impressionable minds, and embrace the ways of nature WITHOUT them thinking we're high and mighty jerks to everydeer!"

"We don't need a buncha of glorified tourists ruining the forest with us helping them!"

'Maybe I can take out that land loan from that pony Filthy Rich my brother mentioned...' Thought the deer doe.

-

"Then again, that would raise the question of where the Hell Sunset Shimmer's HUMAN counterpart should be!"

Meanwhile, Princess Twilight Spotted a Rainbow Dash wearing a form flitting blue flight suit with yellow lightning bolts flying about the convention hall, and people wondering where the wires were, and what the micro-transaction was in game.

"Finally made it! Haha! Twilight will never know! So these are 'hands?' Don't get what the big deal minotaurs keep making about them."

Princess Twilight narrowed her eyes. 'Oh no you didn't Rainbow!!'

Then she felt a hand on her shoulder, she turned around, and spotted five girls in Crystal Prep uniforms, smiling at her.

"Hey Twilight, nice to see you lose the glasses, and finally let your hair down... Didn't know you made a big deal with Crystalsoft..." said a teenage girl with indigo hair.

'Well Twilight, you knew this was inevitable... just play it cool and polite and explain without Pinkie Pie around ...'

Session 83.21 Ardashir

As Sci-Twi got into her Diamond Wolf suit and rejoined Blueblood, and Princess Twilight tried to talk her way past the Crystal Prep girls, the rest of the HuMane Six were busy playing Cards Against Equinity. Well, Dash and Applejack and Pinkie Pie were; Fluttershy felt faint after reading some of the cards and decided to help Rarity out with -- whatever it as she was planning.

"Um, Rarity, are you sure this is a good idea?" Fluttershy gingerly held the long-eyelashed white-furred fox costume head as Rarity zipped herself up in the bodysuit. Fluttershy blushed to see how snugly the suit fit her, displaying the underlying curves to good effect. "Maybe next time you shouldn't get a European-style suit. They, uh, don't leave much to the imagination."

"That is the idea, dear," Rarity said as she carefully inspected herself in the mirror. She had to admit, Alisa did a good job. "Some of us do NOT need a ton of padding to portray a female figure."

She could hear the others playing that game in the main part of the suite; Pinkie seemed delighted with her hand. She was laughing gleefully as Dash and AJ groaned.

"What's fun until it gets sad?" Pinkie could be heard through the door. "A herd of loonies playing weird card games instead of interacting with others like normal ponies!"

"But what are you going to do?" Fluttershy asked as Rarity took the mask from her. "Just walk around the con and flirt with people like that Sweetcream Scoops girl? Um, not that I'm telling you what to do."

"No, dear," Rarity said as she slowly lowered the mask down over her own face. Her voice echoed slightly as she turned to Fluttershy, tail spinning out behind her and one hand set dramatically to her chest. With the other she pointed to the bed where a sheet of paper lay. "I will compete with them on their level! It may be a harsh lesson, but I will NOT be outdone by dear Twilight dressed as a cartoon character. She is my dear friend, but there! Are! Limits!"

With those words Rarity strode out of the room, looking as majestic as a teenaged girl could while disguised as a curvy anthropomorphic snow-white vixen. Several fans outside cheered when they saw her. Rarity nodded as graciously as a queen as she headed down the hallway. Fluttershy looked down at the paper on the bed.

"'First time ever at CrystalCon'," she read, "'Fursuit Games tonight for all fullsuiters! Win a silly prize and bragging rights!'" She turned it over and her eyes widened. "'Winner will be immortalized among the fans forever'?'Everyone will connect your name with this moment'?"

Fluttershy looked out the door after Rarity. "Oh, dear!"

Session 83.22 Alex Warlorn

Human Rarity stared... "So... many... lionesses... don't these people have any imagination? There are more species in the world than lions!"

"Be grateful," said one of the lionesses, their voice muffled. "Last year it was all foxes."

-

"Why is there a giant robot dragon in Ponyville?" Princess Ember asked.

"Spike. I have been programmed to be your mate, do you not love me?" Said the giant robotic dragon looking down at Spike with heart lit up LED eyes.

Spike the dragon said backing away slowly, "Uh, I'm guessing human Twilight built a robot dog for doggie me... and it wandered into the portal..."

Pinkie Pie said readying a slew of party cannons, "Spike, whatever you do, don't say 'let's just be friends', just don't!"

"Hey! I'm not that stupid!"

"Engage butt sniffing protocol."

"AHHH!"

"Discord!" Apple Bloom said, "Me and may friends really really really ain't expecting ya to turns us into our Queen of Manehattan monster selves this time!"

Button Mash eagerly grinned... and nothing.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. "Did you really expecting that to work this time?"

Session 83.23 Mtangalion

Discord appeared with a pop and a flash, arms folded smugly. "Nice try, but I mastered reverse psychology literal eons ago. Triple sideways psychology is all the rage now... eh?!"

Discord noticed the giant robot dragon and stared google-eyed, then glanced left and right at the gathered ponies, holding up an ear horn. "What, no one's going to blame me for that? No loud and baseless accusations? Not a single demand that I fix what I supposedly did?!"

Fluttershy landed in front of him. "Um... did you do that, Discord?"

Discord blinked. "Well, no, but..."

"Whew, it's a good thing I helped Twilight install that emergency bypass module!" said Starlight Glimmer. "So, you know... objects bigger than the portal room would appear outside and not... you know, destroy the entire castle!" She gasped. "I'd better go recharge it and tell Twilight that the portal will be offline!" Starlight teleported away.

Applejack thumped a metal toeclaw with a hoof, and the robot dragoness giggled, as if the she was actually ticklish. "Ah dunno," mused Applejack. "Humans do make some pretty cockamamie inventions. Carts that go by themselves, those ‘phone' things that are all the rage with griffons, even computers that play games! And this is the other Twilight we're talking about, so... maybe her building a clockwork dragon is plausible at least?"

Pinkie Pie giggled. "Wild accusations are more Twilight and Rainbow Dash's thing, and Dashie's busy sneaking into... oops!" She covered her muzzle with a hoof, then singsonged, "Forget I said anything!" as she pronked away.

"You can't just make it go away!" pouted Apple Bloom. "We wanna take it apart and see how it works!"

"Nothing doing!" shouted Smolder. She and Garble were perched on the giant robot's shoulders. "She's an honorary dragon!"

"Yeah!" crowed Garble. "No pony's disassembling Spike's new girlfriend!"

Spike flew up to Garble, scowling. "Thanks a lot, guys." The dragoness grabbed Spike and snuggled him to her metal chest. "Whoa, hey!"

"No, no, no," said Discord. "We're getting dreadfully off track here, which is to say that no one is paying attention to me!" He paced, brooding. "Can it be? Ponyville itself has become so bizarre that all of my glorious chaos is... mere background noise!? This cannot stand!" Then he got a perfectly wicked grin. "Every right-hooved pony in town is now left-hooved, and vice versa!" He snapped his fingers.

Three seconds later, Rarity Belle came storming out of her shop. "DISCORD! Whatever foul mischief you just did, change it back! THIS INSTANT!"

Discord slipped on a pair of shades and blew magic smoke from his claw. "Oh yes, that's much better."

Session 83.24 Alex Warlorn and Mtangalion

A wingless Spike on all fours came out of the mirror asking, "Where did that robot pup Twilight made for me go?"

The newly arrived Spike might have wandered into the rest of the castle and gotten lost for days, but fortunately for him, Starlight Glimmer teleported into the portal room first.

"Should I interrupt Twilight at the convention to tell her about this?" she mused to herself. "It'll only take half an hour to recharge the emergency relocation module. Ten minutes if I use my new quick-charging spell to..." She froze. "Spike? Oh my gosh, Spike, where are your WINGS? Can dragons evolve backwards? Or... oh, no no no... Did I cast a reverse time spell and not notice?!"

But when Spike the Dog saw the strange four-hooved creature, a brand new instinct jumped straight into his doggy brain, even though he was a magical talking dog currently in the body of a baby dragon. "Herd!" he cried happily, rushing to nip at Starlight's hooves. "Bark, bark bark! I'm herding! Hey, this game is fun!"

Starlight eeeeeped! and hovered straight off the crystal floor. "This is no game, mister! Those teeth are sharp!" Her brain started working again. "And... you're the *other* Spike. Okaaay..." She looked to the portal. "But if both Twilights are at the convention, who took you and robopup for a walk near the statue?"

As if in answer, the portal rippled, and a white colt with a blue mane tumbled out. "What the..." Shining Armor shook himself, then gaped at his hooves. "Did I just step through a magic portal and enter World of Horsecraft... in real life!?"

Starlight facehoofed. "Not again..."

Session 83.25 Alex Warlorn, Mtangalion, Ardashir

(In the Human world.)

"Don't you just love our new characters? I druid really fits me."Fluttershy asked looking over her character sheet.

"Yeah yeah."

"Rainbow you wanted to play a fighter."

"NOT A PIXIE FIGHTER! Do I shout 'Hey! Listen!' at the enemy?"

"...Just for the eyes."

"That's... a good point."

+

"Spike detected... Spike detected again... Spike cannot be in two places at once... illogical, ILLOGICAL!" The robot dragon's head exploded.

Starlight patted a shocked Shining Armor on the shoulder."Well look on the bright side!It was never going to fit back through the portal anyway."

"Wait... that was Twilight's robot... that... SHE'S GOING TO KILL ME!"

"Hey there, handsome."Princess Cadence gave human Shining a quick but passionate kiss right on his new pony lips."Did you take our luggage to the castle already?Hold Flurry Heart while I hit the little filly's room!"She trotted away, leaving Shining with his foreleg curled around an adorable bundle that was all wings and horn... and looked just like his own baby daughter had on the night the fish monsters attacked.

"Okay... So here I'm a horse and a father?" Human-Shining looked down at the happy, laughing foal. "This can't get any stranger."

His voice broke off as he was enveloped in blue light, the smiling Flurry being set on a nearby plush chair as a snorting white-coated, blue-maned unicorn stallion -- his twin in looks -- stomped up to him, snorting and ears pinned.

"I take it back," Human-Shiny moaned as he floated in midair before the other stallion.

"What are you?" Prince Shining Armor demanded of his twin. "One of those crazy wolves? Or one of Chrysalis' Changelings. Whoever you are, nopny kisses my wife but me!"

Down in the "Friendship Dungeon," Shining Armor gave his double another Glare of Doom."Okay, let's go down the list.Changeling?"

Ocellus did a peculiar dance and posed her wings, watching for a reaction."No."

"Diamond Wolf?"

Pavel padded forward, sniffing deeply."Not costume, not wolf."The pup nodded energetically.

"Mirror pool clone?"

Gallus held up a board covered in fresh paint, just starting to dry."Um, how's this going to help again?"

Starlight barged past Shining's Crystal Guards."Ugh, I'd tell you who he is, if you'd just listen for three seconds!"

(After Getting Back to the human world)

Human!Shiny ponied-up, and sealed Flurry's used diapers in smell-proof magic bubbles. "Yes!" He fistpumped.

Spike-usuually-a-dog cried out, "MY GIRLFRIEND!"

Apple Bloom scratched her mane."Huh, that's peculiar.Why do Ah feel like I could fix this machine right up, even though that ain't mah mark, so Ah couldn't possibly be any good at it?"The filly shrugged and grinned."There's only eighty-two loose screws... Ah'll just screw 'em all back in an' see what happens!"

"Just be careful you don't active its 'rend-kill-destroy' programming," Scootaloo warned her.

"Huh?" Apple Bloom looked at her friend rather than at the robot as she tightened the bolts and replaced the screws. "Why th' hay would anypony make a robot that could do that?"

"I dunno," Scootaloo shrugged. "But they always do that in the Power Ponies comics."

"Awww," Apple Bloom turned the robot back on, not noticing the fiery gleam in its eyes. "Nopony'd be thet stupid in real life."

Author's Note

THIS CHAPTER NEEDS COVER ART!

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?
What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 83.0 QuartzScale
Special Announcement
Session 83.1 Alex Warlorn
Session 83.2 Mtangalion Ardashir BrutalityInc SomeRandomMinion Alex Warlorn sonicandmario826
Session 83.3 Mtangalion
Session 83.4 Alex Warlorn
Session 83.5 Ardashir
Session 83.6 Mtangalion (with addition by me)
Session 83.7 Alex Warlorn
Session 83.8 Grogar-the-Oneser
Session 83.9 Alex Warlorn
Session 83.10 Alex Warlorn
Session 83.11 Mtangalion (with extra bit by me)
Session 83.12 Ardashir
Session 83.13 Alex Warlorn
Session 83.14 Ardashir (with bit added by me)
Session 83.15 Kendell2
Session 83.16 Kendell2
Session 83.17 Ardashir
Session 83.18 Kendell2
Session 83.19 Mtangalion
Session 83.20 Alex Warlorn
Session 83.21 Ardashir
Session 83.22 Alex Warlorn
Session 83.23 Mtangalion
Session 83.24 Alex Warlorn and Mtangalion
Session 83.25 Alex Warlorn, Mtangalion, Ardashir

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Picture by JoshJenkins6 used with permission. https://www.deviantart.com/joshjenkins6/art/MLP-Dungeons-and-Dragons-Pixie-Dash-and-Dryad-Shy-747383392

Session 85

Session 85.0 Kendell2

*One smelling salts treatment, explanations, breathing exercises later*

"Okay, let's start from the top," said Twilight. "I'm Princess Twilight Sparkle."

"I'm Rainbow Dash, awesome to meet you," Rainbow Dash introduced.

"I'm Fluttershy..." said Fluttershy in her normal timid, but kind fashion.

"And I am Rarity Belle, pleasure to meet you darlings," said Rarity with a bow.

"Hi! I'm Pinkamena Diane Pie! But you can all me Pinkie Pie!" introduced Pinkie.

"And Ah'm Applejack, nice tah meetcha," Applejack introduced with a tip of her hat.

"And I'm Starlight Glimmer," Starlight finished.

The pink mare with a yellow mane blinked. "Wow, my name's Starlight too..."

Pinkie Pie slid up next to them from offscreen with a slide whistle sound effect, looking between them. "Hmm...I don't think you're the same person from other universes, but I'm not quite sure..."

"My name's Bright Eyes, this is...interesting..." Bright Eyes introduced.

"Hello, my name is Sweetheart. It's really truly good to meet you," said the white furred mare.

"Hey! My name's Patch! This is so cool!" the peach mare introduced, seeming amazed about this.

"Name's Melody," the pink mare with the blue mane.

"My name is Clover, this is so weird..." the purple mare replied, looking around and still trying to grasp the situation.

"Bon Bon...do we have any snacks?" said the yellow mare. She then jumped as a table of snacks materialized out of nowhere.

"We know a Bon Bon who looks kind of like you, maybe your alternate self?" asked Twilight.

Rainbow Dash blinked, looking to Melody. "You sound familiar. I wonder if I've met our you..."

"Nah, she and Starlight Glimmer just have the same voice actress!" Pinkie Pie explained, then looked directly at you the reader. "Look it up!"

"Does she do that a lot?" asked Bright Eyes.

"Yes, she's Pinkie Pie, don't question it for your own sanity," said Twilight.

"I'll take your word for it..."

"So, you're...what are you exactly?" their Starlight asked.

"We're Pegasi," said Rainbow Dash.

"We're unicorns, darling," Rarity explained.

"Earth Ponies, just like you all," Applejack replied.

"And I'm an Alicorn," Twilight explained. "I'm kind of...all of the above in that list."

"So Bright Glow's sister was an Alicorn and she was a pegasus, cool..." Patch said, smiling. "...Do you know a girl named Bright Glow?"

"Sorry, can't say we do."

"Oh..."

Having already had the 'this is not a dream' speech, the group sat down...except Bon Bon who grabbed some snacks first.

"So, what game are we playing?" asked Bright Eyes.

"O&O is our go to," said Rainbow Dash.

The seven ponies raised an eyebrow.

"What's that?" Melody asked.

"Ogres and Oubliettes?" Rainbow clarified, getting more blank looks. "You make characters and raid dungeons, fight bosses? Wizards? Fighters? Mages?"

"Oh! You mean Dungeons and Dragons!" Patch replied.

One explanation later, the group discovered the two games were virtually identical barring some details.

"Well we're all familiar with it, so seems like a good idea, let's make our characters," Twilight said, glad things had calmed down.

The mane six and Starlight all made the character classes they had grown accustomed to. As for their guests:

Starlight had chosen a wizard, specifically a unicorn (while not exactly the same, due to unicorns allegedly being fictional in her universe, fit close enough).

Bright Eyes was an Earth Pony Druid.

Sweetheart was an Earth Pony Cleric in service of Berroneighar Truesilver.

Melody was naturally a Bard to no one's surprise.

Patch chose a Rogue, with stats taliored to become a Duelist Prestige Class later on.

"Hmm...I don't know what to be..." said Bon Bon, not finding a cook or baker. Everyone was surprised when she went with a Barbarian Earth Pony designed to look very Amazonian and wearing attire that wouldn't look out of place on a model.

Patch stared in shock. "Really?"

"Hey, I want to be a model, seemed closest..." Bon Bon said, blushing a bit.

"You want to be a model, darling?" Rarity asked, looking her over. "You certainly have the face for it." She left out that she was a little on the pudgy side, she was a young girl, so she had all the time in the world.

"You really think so?" the young mare asked, face lighting up.

"Certainly, and I would know. I make dresses for the best fashion models in Canterlot!" Rarity replied. "If we lived in the same universe I'd introduce you, but I can give you some pointers and maybe have a dress prepared if we meet again."

"Thanks, that'd be great!"

The group then stalled for about ten minutes as Clover debated classes.

"Uh, Clover, I know we'll be returned to the time we left, but can you pick up the pace a little?" asked Patch.

"Sorry...I hate choosing..." muttered the young mare, ultimately just throwing together a mishmash of classes like Starlight often did...

And then managing to roll ALL 18s on her stat rolls.

"Geeze! Talk about lucky!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

"Well it is my special talent," said Clover, blushing a little. "Luck I mean."

"Oh, so that's why your Cutie Mark is a four leaf clover?" asked Twilight.

The seven visitors cocked their heads and Patch snickered.

"What's a Cutie Mark?" asked Bright Eyes as Patch tried not to laugh.

"You don't know what they are? But you have them!" said Rainbow Dash, pointing to hers. "You know? Symbol on your flank that appears when you find your special talent?"

"Oh! You mean Rump Designs," replied Bright Eyes, saying that with complete earnest as if it were common speech.

"...You call Cutie Marks Rump Designs?" asked Rainbow Dash incrediously.

"You call Rump Designs Cutie Marks?" asked Patch.

"Yes," replied Twilight and Starlight at the same time...

Before Patch and Rainbow Dash both fell out of their seats laughing so hard they had to hold their stomachs.

"...So, who's going to be Oubliette Overseer/Dungeon Master?" Pinkie Pie asked, not finding anything strange about the conversation they just had, and actually saying the slash in her sentence.

"That's a good question..." said Twilight.

Suddenly there was screaming and Shining Armor fell from the sky and landed in the Overseer's chair, landing upside down. "...Discord, if you weren't an all powerful god of chaos, I would strangle you..."

"Hi BBBFF!" Twilight called.

"Hi Twiley..." said Shining Armor, still upside down while Rainbow and Patch rolled on the floor laughing. "...A little help here?"

OOC: Yes, from G1 to G3, Cutie Marks were officially called Rump Designs. Fans called them Symbols, but official merch called them Rump Designs.

Session 85.1 Kendell2

"Okay, so recap, you're all from another universe because Discord, got it," Shining Armor replied.

"...You say that way too causally..." the alternate Starlight said.

"To you this is probably one of the weirdest days ever, to us this is Tuesday," the prince replied. "...Okay, it's actually Wednesday, but you get the point. Now, let me introduce myself, I'm Shining Armor, Twilight's big brother."

The seven introduced themselves once again, as well as their characters at his request.

"Wait, you're a Cleric?" asked Shining to Sweetheart.

Sweetheart nodded. "Yes."

"FINALLY! Did it really take this long for someone to want to be a Cleric?!" Shining asked, elated. "...Sorry, been holding that in for a long time."

"It's fine," Sweetheart replied with a pleasant smile.

"Now..." Shining Armor said, looking to Starlight Glimmer and the other Starlight. "You're both named Starlight, that's going to get confusing."

"Just call me Glimmer then," Starlight Glimmer replied.

"Alright, fair enough," Shining Armor replied. "So, now we just need a campaign, anyone of our guests have a favorite?"

"Something with pirates! Or giants! Or dragons!" Patch suggested.

"Something about saving the environment would be interesting," Bright Eyes replied.

The others were pretty much good for anything.

"I think I have just the thing," said Shining Armor. "If only I had my stuff from home..."

A slide whistle sound effect sounded and several piles of O&O books fell around Shining.

"Thank you, Discord..." said Shining Armor.

"So...what exactly IS Discord?" asked Bright Eyes.

"The literal embodiment of Chaos," said Twilight. "He's also a reality warper who used to be an evil overlord."

"Yeah, he got turned to stone for a few thousand years, then escaped and tried to take over the world again, but we kicked his butt and turned him to stone," Rainbow Dash said, before hearing an insulted scoff from the ether. "That's what happened and you know it, and I know you're not proud of the detailed version."

"...Touche..." was Discord's replied from nowhere.

"Then Fluttershy befriended him and convinced him to be good," Twilight explained, getting her notes in order.

The seven visitors stared in wide eyed surprise.

"Cool..." Patch said, amazed.

"You weren't lying when you said this was Tuesday to you..." Bon Bon replied.

"So are you like superheroes or something?" Patch asked.

"Totally! We're the bearers of the Elements of Harmony and save the world about once a year," Rainbow Dash explained.

"Wow..."

"Alright, got it!" Shining Armor said, producing everything for the campaign. He then cleared his throat. "The land was once vibrant, flourishing location. Forests spreading out in all directions, people living in harmony with nature...in so much as was possible in a world inhabited by monsters that can kill you by looking at you...But that all changed when a great evil rose, blotting the land and poisoning it, leaving things to wither and die. Now you must find this evil, the dreaded Smog Dragon Losvir Di Gemuth*, before everything is lost..."

"...You should narrate movie trailers," Patch said, impressed.

"Thanks! Any questions?" asked Shining Armor.

"Yeah...what's a smog dragon?" asked Bright Eyes. "That's not in our version, maybe it's from an edition you have that we don't?"

"Maybe, which addition do you have now?"

"Advanced 2nd addition."

"...Do you have the Monstrous Manual?"

"No..."

"...Okay, got a lot to catch you up on then..."

She raised an eyebrow. "How many are there now?"

"...Five. I was hoping you at least had 3rd addition."

* According to a translator that seems legit, this means Bane of Nature in Draconic.

OOC: D&D was only up to 2nd Addition in 1992.

Session 85.2 Alex Warlorn

Discord snapped his fingers. And lo and behold, in the void appeared a hot and sexy barbarian earth pony warrior appeared.

"Yes, just like that!" Bon Bon said.

Shining Armor said, "Discord, I can appreciate this, I really do, I heard about your LARP spell, it really does add to the community... " Shining Armor in light of Discord helping save Equestria from ~~the changelings, Queen~~ Chrysalis, (thought big brother), didn't bring up how Discord had stabbed him and all of Equestria in the back after Tirek had sweet talked him into it, then forgotten about it after Tirek stabbed him in the back. "But a point of this game is to use your imagination, it's nice to have tools, but this sort of thing can kill the inspiration, it can turn into a video game."

Discord huffed, "You're just jealous."

"BWAHAHAH! You'll never stop Trixie's evil plan to enslave Equestria for Lord Smauge and then betray him for my own power!" Said a blue unicorn in a purple cape with insane look in her eye, with a tone, expression, body language, and attitude that all screamed 'expendable 1-D villain.'

"Uh-oh, it seems to be stuck in 'notes review' mode!" Discord said snapping his fingers trying to fix it.

"Geeze, how unrealistically cliche can toy," Melody said, "And that 'third person speak' is so obviously fake, nobody actually talks like that."

"Okay, maybe it still has some bugs to work out," Discord admitted.

Glimmer glared daggers at Twilight.

"SORRY! SORRY! That was when I'd met Trixie only once! Back when we all we knew about her 'lied about her accomplishments, humiliated three of my friends, and inspired two idiots to bring an Ursa Minor to town!'"

"WAIT?! You mean that pony actually EXISTS?!"

"That version only exists in Twilight Sparkles' head," Glimmer snorted.

"Twili, remember you gave me some of your old adventure notes from seven years back, and you told me I could do what I wanted with them?"

"I THOUGHT you'd just bury them in your pile of notes or something!"

"All hail Gilda, Goddess of Bullies, we shall share the bully-hood of the dragon with all." Said a buncha of griffins in cloaked hoods. "We shall scare old ladies and steal apples, and randomly shout at animal lovers, we are truly the pinnacles of bullying!"

Fluttershy said, "Now Twilight, that wasn't nice of you to write Gilda like that..."

"Actually... that was one of mine," Rainbow Dash admitted.

Starlight said, "Well, at least we don't have any embarrassing to reveal right?"

She should have known better than to say those words.

Then a handsome teenage earth pony stallion with a American soccer ball cutie mark with a blond mane and coat dressed up in fantasy era clothing with a sword and feathery hat appeared and swooned dramatically, "Oh Dame Starlight! Save me, your Prince Ace! From the wicked witch Melody's enslavement! Only you can lead me to redemption!"

Melody turned darkly to Starlight.

"It was for a solo-adventure I wrote just for myself! I never meant to share with anyone!" Starlight defended.

"I'm guessing love triangle," Pinkie Pie said.

"DISCORD TURN THAT THING OFF THIS INSTANT!" Rarity snapped. "Some things shouldn't be shown to others!"

"AH AGREE!" Honest Applejack said.

"Sorry," Discord said, snapping his fingers, turning the illusion spell off.

Session 85.3 Ardashir (with edits by me)

However the spell glitched and showed them a vaguely familiar, adorable little pegasus filly. Her eyes gleamed with power-lust. Madness twisted her face.

"BWA-AHAHAHA!" She raised a spiky and ornate crown, setting it atop her head. "I shall betray everypony and make myself Empress! All, all shall kneel before me and despair!"

Applejack blinked. "Huh, who wrote that character up?"

"An evil little filly?" Melody shook her head. "Come on, nopony could believe that! Children are innocent and adorable. I mean sure, my little sisters destroy everything they touch, but they aren't MALICIOUS about it." She didn't see how Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash all gave her unbelieving stares.

"Heh!" Discord waved one paw and the image vanished. "Now how did that get in there?"

Session 85.4 Alex Warlorn

"Oh man, with everything going on I forgot! I brought chicken mcnuggests!" Patch brought out a box of fried chicken meat and began scarfing them down. She noticed the Equestrian ponies were staring at her. "Oh! Right! Sorry! You want some?" She pushed the box forward.

The Equestrian ponies mostly turned green, except Fluttershy who fainted.

Princess Twilight began rambling to herself, "It's the visits to the human world all over again!" This was WHY she wanted her friends to avoid visiting the world of humans! Now the scenario she'd tried to avoid for so long was unfolding before her eyes.

Twilight understood Fluttershy's reaction... considering her animals discussed the meaning of written books, mice made houses, Angel could legally enter contests by himself, and raccoons were capable of understanding and carry out a paying job.

Rainbow Dash, without thinking, reached out and ate it,, her eyes widened as she looked at her friends like a deer caught in the headlights. "Er, I might have developed a taste hanging out with Gilda..."

Rarity took Rainbow Dash's hand and softly patted her hoof, she said in a warm kind voice, "It's okay Rainbow Dash, we'll help you fix your problem."

Rainbow pulled her hoof back, "I don't have a problem to be fixed!"

Bon Bon looked at the Equestrian ponies and said, "Wait, wait wait, you're all some totalitarian vegan society or something?"

Patch, being Patch, exclaimed, "They come from a dark alternate universe where PETA has conquered the world!"

Fluttershy snapped back awake. "Oh! I just had a horrible dream where our new friends were cannibals and they ate poor Elizabeak!" Fluttershy saw the chicken McNuggests and yelped.

Bright Eyes said as politely as she could, "I must object, 'cannibal' refers to an creature eating its own species. And don't worry, they're free range chickens, I helped write the article."

Bright Eyes had sadly misread the reason for their disgust (even Homer nods).

Living right next to the Diamond Wolves who were most definitely NOT herbivores in the slightest, Shining Armor could only duck down as two speeding trains and the resulting culture clash explosion. (When the Diamond Wolves had bought several crystal sheep, the crystal ponies assumed they were for wool or pets... then the truth came out and Shining Armor had come crawling to BLUEBLOOD to help prevent a war!).

Session 85.5 Kendell2 and Ardashir with edits

Shining Armor had flashbacks to that incident that had nearly sparkled a war between the Crystal Empire and one of its neighbors.

"Yoo-hoo, Diamond Wolves, here we are! We brought some food for the crystal sheep... Why is this big pile of bones here?"

"Ponies give Wolves sheep, Wolves give Ponies sheep bones back! Do ponies want some fresh mutton?" The Wolf held out a haunch of mutton. It dripped crimson and stll bore part fo a collar with a tag reading 'Wooly'.

The Crystal Ponies stared in shock, and then:

"... AHHHH! You murdering, mutton-eating fiends!... This is as bad as when Sombra used to feed us to them!... The K'Kree were right, death to all carnivores!"

"GRRRR! Stupid Ponies!"

Sweetheart whimpered as the resulting argument predictably happened, with Rainbow Dash taking their side at least.

To her surprise it was the shy Fluttershy pony who was the most angry about it.

The new ponies were all angry at them for eating meat, while her friends didn't see anything wrong with it, and it'd quickly devolved into a debate when they'd just about to start a game.

She was admittedly relieved that Clover's anxiety prevented her from being involved.

Thankfully for everyone involved, Sweetheart was not pre-character development Fluttershy. That said...

"I can't believe you would eat a helpless little creature!" Fluttershy shouted.

"Ponies are omnivores, what's wrong with eating meat?" Bright Eyes replied, holding up a chart. "So long as it's done ethically."

She had still been granted a quiet, calm voice, which wasn't exactly good at getting attention, especially in the middle of an argument. That said, she knew someone who was, if Mr. Discord would bring him over.

*One emergency teleportation, information, and acceptance of the franky crazy situation later.*

Just before everyone was prepared to say they didn't want anything to do with each other.

"WILL EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP! YOU'RE UPSETTING SWEETHEART!"

Everyone jumped, blinking and turning to Sweetheart, who was now standing next to a blue teenaged colt with an orange mane and tail (the former in a mohawk) and wearing a pair of shades resting on his forehead, his Cutie Mark (or Rump Design, as he called it) a black comb.

"Thank you, Teddy," said Sweetheart, kissing him on the cheek and making him blush.

"Shucks, you're welcome Sweetheart," said the colt.

Sweetheart looked back. "Sorry, but it can be hard to get ponies' attention when you're quiet..."

"...I know how that is..." Fluttershy admitted.

"I understand why you're upset..." said Sweetheart to their new friends. "But keep in mind we're from another world. Things just don't work the same way in Ponyland they do here. Animals in our world aren't nearly as smart as they are in Equestria and no one can talk to them like they can in your world. We also don't have Earth Pony magic to grow plants as easily as you do."

"...How do you know that?" Patch asked, looking over.

"Because unlike everypony here I actually asked someone who knows how things work in the other universe," said Sweetheart, Discord peaking out of her mane and waving with a miniture neon sign reading 'Me' on it pointing to his head, causing Teddy to scream and jump back in surprise.

"What can I say? She makes me think of Fluttershy...sort of," said Discord before he disappeared, causing Teddy to look around in confusion.

Patch suddenly got an embarrassed look. "Oh...right."

"We're all just making assumptions about each other, and I thought we learned several times that's a bad idea to do..." said Sweetheart, looking to her friends.

Clover cringed, thinking about her sister's wedding. Bright Eyes cringed thinking about listening to everyone's assumptions about tropical island. EVERYONE cringed at one particular memory about assuming a polluter was responsible for dumping trash in the river and it being no one's fault but their own.

"Yeah, like when you all just assumed I stole Melody's stupid tape player?" asked Teddy.

Melody sighed. "...Point taken..."

"And we've...maybe made similar assumptions ourselves..." said Twilight.

Pinkie's mane went straight for a moment. "Yeah, I know..."

"But...but how could animals be different? We're not all that different..." Fluttershy muttered.

"...Probably magic," Twilight replied. "The moment the Spike from the human world came in contact with pure Equestrian magic, it uplifted him to full sapience. It's likely animals in Equestria just had their intelligence boosted by magic compared to where they came from. We even see this in less magically rich areas in our world, like the Griffonlands. So it's entirely possible that's the cause."

"That and Twiley, I'm saying this because I hate seeing you like this," Shining Armor said. Screw staying out of the culture clash, he wasn't letting his sister fall into this trap when she was in a role she could cause an international incident if she let it cause an outburst and running a school catering to ALL races. "...Guard ponies are trained to eat meat as a matter of survival if we CAN'T find plants to eat. That and...I'm sorry to say, as much as we like animals, that's kind of...well specist."

The group stared at him in surprise.

Shining Armor looked to their new friends. "Griffons don't exist in your world, do they?"

"...Not that we know of," said Bright Eyes.

"Ah, that explains it," Shining Armor replied.

"What do you mean?" asked Rainbow, becoming a bit defensive of Gilda.

"Do remember for a large portion of our history, Griffons and ponies got along like Lava Demons and Ice Orcs. In part because Griffons used to EAT us, so not entirely unfounded. But most of our taboo on eating mean comes from that: we hate eating meat because it was something the 'enemy' did. We SYMPATHIZED with the animals because we were prey too, to the point of demonizing the predators. Griffons NEED meat. And that conflict between our species left THEM with anti-herbivore prejudices. Fact of the matter is, we ponies ARE omnivores, we aren't pure herbivores. If it weren't for that conflict, we would likely have never STOPPED including some meat in our diet. I don't like eating meat, but I'm TRAINED to be able to if it's a matter of life and death, so I can see this a little less bias than you can: they never HAD that conflict. There was never an 'other' who ate meat to be angry at and demonize it, so they never stopped. We might not like it, but it's not WRONG."

"...You're surprisingly good at that..." said Rarity.

"...Actually, 90 percent of that came from Blueblood negotiating with Crystal Wolves to avoid a war," said Shining with a sigh. "...He's RIGHT though: ponies might be all about friendship and tolerance, but we've been conditioned to see carnivorous tendencies as evil, when for some species it's just LIFE..."

"...Fluttershy...you know some of your animals would DIE without meat, right?" Rainbow Dash asked Fluttershy bluntly.

"...I...that's different than eating meat when you don't have too..."

"From the sound of it without Earth Pony magic, they kinda HAVE to."

"...I still don't like it..."

"And there's nothing wrong with that, but Fluttershy, if there's one thing that seems WRONG for YOU of all ponies, it's HATE," said Rainbow Dash.

"...You're right...I...I'll try to calm down..."

"...I'm sorry..." said Bright Eyes. "I think our folly was forgetting different worlds work differently...BOTH of us...We're so used to PETA's craziness that we kinda assumed no one would object to eating meat if they didn't think like them..."

Patch quietly put away her chicken without another word...or rather did so when Starlight elbowed her and pointed for her to do so.

"And I'm sorry too...we're meant to being friendship to other races, not argue with them..." said Twilight.

"Can we please get back to trying to play the game?" Sweetheart asked.

"Yeah...Does...Teddy want to play?" asked Twilight.

"Eh, no thanks, I'm not into ner-" Teddy started, only to get a look from Sweetheart. "D&D isn't my thing."

"That's good, given we're at critical mass for players anyway," Shining Armor pointed out.

"Thank you Teddy," Sweetheart said, nuzzling him.

"Anytime, Sweetheart...but I think I'll stick around, just because it looks cool around here..." the teenager replied...though it was obvious to some of those watching he was staying to make sure she'd be okay.

Session 85.6 Ardashir

While the current Mane Six played games with a former Mane Six, the Student Six were Playing through a game of 'Call of Ponythulu' with Trixie.

"And," Trixie said, casting a spell to darken the room, lowering her voice to sound sinister as she eyed the students over the edge of her cloak, "the nameless, indescribable horror slithers closer -- closer -- ever closer! It's eyes agleam, its tentacles wriggling... What is the matter?" The students were looking at her, vaguely embarrassed. "Are the special effects of the Great and Fearsome Trixie not enough for you?"

"Ah, not really," Gallus waved one claw in dismissal. "After seeing what was in those caves, this stuff really isn't all that scary." He pointed at an illustration in the rulebook.

"Yeah," Smolder nodded agreement. "After seeing our worst fears? Tentacles and fins and way too many eyes don't scare ya all that much. Am I right, guys? Yona? Sandbar?"

"Yona not scared," the little Yak girl said, carefully not looking at the book. Sandbar looked like he would have agreed if not for his eyes going ever wider as he looked at the monster in the book.

Trixie smirked. "The illustration may not frighten, but how about THIS?"

The lights in the room suddenly went dark.

"Real scary," Gallus said and yawned. Then he froze as a tall figure began to appear from the dark. Tall, and slender, and faceless, and equipped with long lashing tentacles.

It slithered towards the six students -- who promptly broke up laughing.

"Aw, come on," Gallus said as the lights came back up and a furious Trixie glared at them. "We all heard about Slender Mane within a day of coming here ta school! Everyone knows he's a fake!" He turned and saw Ocellus trying to look unobtrusive, and with a sudden inspiration said, "Hey, Ocellus here could do something scarier than that!"

Ocellus looked ready to back away, only to freeze as Trixie stomped up to her and snorted, "Very well, Trixie DEMANDS Little Miss Bug Pony try to scare her!"

Ocellus looked around, saw her friends' smiles and Trixie's fury. She gulped and changed shape.

Outside Spike was cleaning the hallway ceiling, a much easier job now that he had wings. He froze as the nearest door slammed open. With a wild shriek Trixie fled out from it and raced down the hall.

"Trixie never wants to read another Horsecraft story ever again!" And with a final shriek, she vanished down the hall.

"Okay," Spike shook his head. "Now what happened -- GURK!"

He turned to see an immense spidery head looking at him, all thrashing palps and poison-dripping fangs and a tooth-lined throat going down to infinity, set with two pale blue eyes like Ocellus'. Long multi-jointed legs tipped with huge claws reached out and pulled him closer and said --

"Oh, Mister Spike! It's me, Ocellus. I hope I didn't scare you too bad, but Gallus wanted me to scare Trixie, and Miss Trixie dared me," she pointed one claw-tipped leg into the corner where the rest of the Student Six were cringing, "and I guess I used a form I really shouldn't have but, er, hello? Mister Spike?" She tapped him on the head with one claw. "Are you supposed to be making those noises when your pupils shrink down to pinpricks?"

Session 85.77 Mtangalion

Principal Celestia yawned, then sipped her coffee and put on one of her favorite patented smiles (It’s never too early in the morning to tease my baby sister). "It’s been a while since I’ve seen you like this, Lulu."

The fearsome taskmistress of Canterlot High, implacable guardian of the faculty parking lot... was camped out at her personal computer in a bathrobe and bunny slippers, with a glass of orange juice and a hastily made plate of hash browns on hand. She glanced away from World of Horsecraft to smirk at her sister. "Are we too old for a bit of fun now, Celly? I think not!"

Celestia took that as an invitation to come closer and watch over Luna’s shoulder. "Oh, you’ve made a Thestral Sentinel." She furrowed her brow. "You named her Moon Child? Will she be charging into battle with mood rings and a sitar?"

Luna tapped the mouse and keyboard frantically. "You do realize, not a single one of our students would get that reference? Except for that Tree Hugger girl. And Twilight Sparkle, perhaps..." Click, click-click... "An ambush? Die, Nightmare Moon cultists! HAH! You shall not menace Hollow Shades again!" She grabbed a bite of her hash browns in between battles. "Mmmf. Hah, what fools! Why do they rush to attack me, when ten of their fellows lie dead at my hooves?"

Celestia chuckled. "One of Equestria’s great mysteries." She tapped her chin. "It looks like you’re just about saved the city. Time for the new dungeon where you rout the cultist leaders once and for all?"

Luna beamed. "A worthy test of my new skills! Now I only need wait for the Random Dungeon Finder to supply me with competent allies, and..." Luna’s game played a drum roll and popped up a window. "Sun Dappled has invited you to a party? Deer druid..." She spun in her seat. "You!?"

Celestia had pulled up a chair and opened her laptop. "As you said, Lulu, we’re not too old for a bit of fun!"

Session 85.78 Alex Warlorn

Inside the vast procedurally generated, and now blessed with multiplayer universe simulator No Mare's Sky, Gilda sniggered to herself.

"Another day, another dweep's base torn to piece..." Gilda flew over a nice pretty base that looked like it had taken hours in game to put together... Gilda got her claw-tool ready to turn it into junk... and her virtual beak flew right into an invisible virtual wall. "HEY! What gives?!"

A big virtual head up sign appeared, Gilda read, "Patch update... bases can now be set to 'anyone, no one, friends only?' AAAH!!!"

Meanwhile on another planet...

"HEY! What's gives?! There are the bajillion sentinels? This planet was the best for fighting them!" Rainbow Dash complained as the update notice appeared.

"Hello! Don't worry! We've fixed up that annoying bug that caused hundreds of sentient drones to descend on you all at once, no need to thank us."

"DANGIT!"

-

"Don't worry random alien in a little house on a deserted planet, I'll happily take up this archeological mission for you!" Twilight said happily, ready to research in a video game, it was bliss!

Session 85.9 Ardashir

It was another (and increasingly rare) quiet day around the school, mostly due to the rain outside. Twilight walked into her office to find Spike with one of the Power Ponies Comics. He was so deeply involved in reading that to her amusement Twilight was able to sneak up behind him before he noticed. She leaned in close and whispered.

"Spike, getting ready for another trip to Maretropolis?"

"Huh? GAH!" Spike jumped from the chair. "Oh, Twi, it's you. I was wondering if the Student Six were interested in going through one of these again."

"The students read one?" Twilight looked at the comic. "How did they enjoy it?"

"They seem to have liked it. They even talked Garble into coming along." Spike shrugged. "They were kind of annoyed when they all became ponies, but the Power Ponies enchanted comics aren't set for more than one or two non-ponies per story yet. Of course it was a little different for them -- Smolder was Saddle Rager, so she didn't have any problems getting angry, for one thing. And some of them became other less commonly used character while some, uh, didn't."

"I can imagine," Twilight flicked one ear as she thought of the little dragonness's temper. "And wait, what 'other' characters?"

***

"YEAH!" The huge orange-colored mare dove into the middle of High Heel's goons, sending them flying. Smolder waved her hooves high. "Aw, yeah! I wish I had my fire, and scales, and wings, but this is nearly as good!"

"You keep them busy, Saddle Rager!" A green mare turned into a river serpent, slithered between the two hulking fashionbots guarding High Heel's doomsday device, then turned back into herself and with a blow sent one smashing into another. Ocellus, currently Miss Maretian, flew at the enraged supervillainess. "I'll handle High Heel and her Transmogrifier Ray Cannon!"

"Stop her before she turns everypony in Maretropolis into a ponyquin!" A silver streak dashed by the other robot. Using a downed power line, it tangled the robot's legs. The massive metal monstrosity collapsed into a nearby pool and was blown to bits by the ensuing electric surge. The streak stopped long enough to reveal Silverstream. She clapped her hooves. "Eeeeh! This is great! I feel like talking even faster then usual and wow but I never thought pony hooves were as useful as claws!"

"Yona love this!" The Yak girl, currently a pony like the rest, flew overhead, sending frigid winds down on the Transmogrifier Ray Cannon. "This almost as good as Yak games. But hey, where Radiance at?"

Off to one side a Sandbar-colored Mistress Mare-velous spoke to a blue Radiance. The latter stood upright, arms folded across her chest and with a sour look on her face.

"Oh, come on!" Mare-velous used her lasso to snatch a pair of hoods back and clonk their heads together. "Just have some fun, Gallus! Besides," 'she' snickered, "you wanted to be one of the 'popular characters'."

'Radiance' rolled her eyes. "Okay, fine." 'She' caught her reflection in a nearby plate of glass and shuddered as she flew forward. "But ugh, how do those Wolves and Changelings do this? And I ain't pulling shorty's fat back outta the fire again!"

"Hey!" A red-scaled Spike-sized draconic Humdrum stomped forward. He thrust a claw at his chest. "I don''t need some dweeb griffon turned dweeb mare ta help me --"

That was the moment when the last robot stomped its metallic foot down on him.

"Ow. Okay, maybe a little..."

***

"Huh, they all became ponies except for Garble? Just like when you played?" Twilight began examining Spike's comic. "I'm surprised, Equestria's not just ponies any more. Who -- a-hah!" She waved the comic. "'Supported by the EEA?' Now I know why it's all ponies. I never thought Neighsay cared about comics, though."

***

Yet elsewhere, a young pony Humdrum in another Enchanted Comic watched as the Power Ponies battled their way through the Mane-iac's latest plan, rescuing both him and the city in the process.

Neighsay, looking like the colt he once was and dressed as Humdrum, sighed as he once again watched Equestria's greatest heroines save everypony.

"I would never say this in the real world," he dreamily watched, "but sometimes I wish the Princesses would be as good at saving Equestria as these mares."

Session 85.10 Alex Warlorn

Princess Twilight smiled, "Ooh! A new Prance Prance Revolution game! I've gotta try it out!"

Spike cringed. "Uh, Twilight, is that such a good-"

Princess Twilight wasn't listening.

"READY TO MAKE SOME NOISE?!" The machine sang.

*two minutes later*

"DANCE-TOO-TERRIBLE-CANNOT-EXIST-BUT-DOES-EXIST! DOES NOT COMPUTE!" Then it exploded.

Featherweight took a photo.

Session 85.11 Grogar-the-oneser

The mail-pony gulped, the entrance to Tartarus was surrounded by monsters. most of them ready to leap from there cages to attack any intruders who enter their domain, with the one roaming free being the dangerous Cerberus

"D-delivery for T-t-tirek." The mail-pony gulped as he handed Cerberus the letter.

Cerberus grunted as he led the mail-pony to Tirek cell.

"Oh good... a letter. I wonder if my penpal has anything to say today." Tirek stated with a grin as the mail-pony gulped before handing Tirek the letter, then run away screaming.

Tirek simply open the letter and cackled as he saw two words. 'It's Time!'

Session 85.12 Ardashir, Mtangalion, Alex Warlorn

"And that's why you should never ignore your natural urges," said teacher Fluttershy with a smile. "Gallus."

"Yes Miss Fluttershy?"

"Eat Sandbar."

"What!?"

"You're resisting your natural urges, if you don't eat Sandbar, I'll have to give you an 'F'."

"It's okay Gallus, I want to be eaten," said Sandbar, now dressed as a hamburger, "I'm just so tasty and juicy, you should start with my left thigh."

"N-No!" Gallus took a step back, now wearing a bib with the words 'Supper time!' on it.

"Now now Gallus, are you going to deny your friend's request?" Fluttershy said, now dressed in a hotdog bun.

"Eat me, eat me, eat me, you know you want to... all these tasty ponies around... you want to..." Sandbar said getting closer and closer. "Eat me!"

Gallus awoke with a yelp.

"What a nightmare... Hopefully the other students don't have similar problems!"

As they all slept

Smolder said in her sleep, "Yeah... pile up that gold, ponies... Your dragon queen commands... And then we'll have a tea party! -- GAH!"

Ocellus said in her sleep, "Sandbar, I can't take all your love, you'd have nothing. But it tastes so delicious... Maybe just this once..."

Yona shouted in her sleep, "Yona tired of ponies mocking sacred Yak traditions! YONA SMASH!"

Silverstream said in her sleep, "I guess every-hippogriff was right, we need to go back undersea and stay away from the drylanders. But ugh, that endless chorus of 'shoo-bi-doo'!"

And Sandbar in his sleep was saying, "Yes, new Headmaster Neighsay, you were right... The other races are less friendly than ponies, we need to keep them out of Equestria. For their good just like ours..."

Meanwhile with the Diamond Wolves and Diamond Dogs...

Pavel slept drooling. "Tasty meats, drool..."

Scruff drooled in their sleep too. "Fresh from hunt... nom nom... "

The new parrot chick students looked at each other and asked the nearest adult, "Can we bunk with the thestrals instead?"

The Thestral students said, "Only if you brought apples."

Ocellus came out wanting to speak with Sandbar about him sharing some love and yelped, "AH! Thestrals!"

"Oh right, Thestrals use to eat changelings, because, ya know, giant bugs, but we don't do that anymore."

"Could you stop chewing on my leg then?"

"Oh, okay, sorry!"

Sleeping Princess Wavedancer grumbled, "GET OUT OF OUR OCEAN YOU STUPID HIPPOGRIFFS!" She punched around in her sleep.

In the next room over Silverstream in her sleep felt like she's been punched.

Cutest Little Pegasus Student with really big innocent eyes, AKA Cozy Glow told Princess Twilight, "I'm so sorwee! I was looking through books on evil mind control magic, to learn about how to counter evil mind control magic, and I might have accidentally activated one that causes base instincts to become more pronounced."

Princess Twilight Sparkle said looking at her big cute eyes, "Well, we all make mistakes!"

Starlight Glimmer came into Twilight office looking distraught, "Uh! Twilight! A few books containing some, cough, private spell research of mine -- all purely innocent I assure you, merely working on some projects from an earlier stage of my life -- may have gotten placed into the school library by mistake." Starlight Looked at books on Twilight's table. "Oh, never mind, I see you and this innocent little filly found them. And before they could cause any harm, heh."

Smolder outside in hall said, "Ewww! What did I step in? Oh, man, that is gross!"

Yipper, Diamond Dog Student replied, "Yipper just felt sudden urge to mark territory."

"With jelly donuts?!"

Princess Twilight sighed. "Thankfully this is what failsafe spells are for." One quick failsafe spell undid the other spell's effect.

"All from here?" Starlight asked.

"I was inspired by that 'brainwash ponies at a distance' spell you created."

"Ah."

"That failsafe spell is great to have Princess Twilight, I bet you can foil lots of evil scheme with it," praised Cozy Glow.

"Well, kinda. It doesn't work on Discord's magic."

"Really? Wow! So Miss Starlight, you really made a 'brainwash ponies at a distance' spell?"

"OH! Well! Erm! Kinda! I was really just trying to get everypony to listen more to what I had to say, and I went overboard."

"Can you tell me about it so I won't make the same mistakes and go overboard too?"

"That's very considerate and shows thinking ahead Cozy Glow!" Princess Twilight nodded.

"Thank you!" Cozy Glow said with her pure innocent smile.

-

"And here's Starlight Glimmer's 'secret list of weaknesses', she asked me to put it together in case she ever went evil again and for me to give to somepony I trust," Twilight told Cozy Glow.

Cozy Glow saluted. "Don't worry Princess Twilight! I'll put it good use!"

-

"And that's the best way to string along Apple Bloom and her friends if they ever get one of their crazy schemes in their heads again and need to be convinced to try something else."

"Thank you Miss Applejack, I wouldn't want my best friends to do anything reckless and not be able to convince them that were going to hurt themselves."

"You're one consider filly Cozy Glow, the nicest filly Ah know."

"Thank you!" She smiled and nodded.

-

"If you really want to catch Discord off guard and throw him a surprise party-" Fluttershy explained as Cozy Glow carefully wrote down notes.

-

"Oh Rainbow Dash! I'm no good at flying! Not like you and the Wonderbolts!" Cozy Glow cried rivers.

"That not true! Me and the Wonderbolts have all kinda short comings and weaknesses!"

"You're just making that up!"

"No I'm not! Here, let me tell you-"

-

"Trixie will be gone for a while! At least three days! But she will return! Thank you little filly! She will enjoy Los Pegasus!"

"Miss Trixie, you've thwarted evil with or without magic, I learned about that, you're a pony everypony should keep an eye on! Those villains were idiots for underestimating the great and powerful Trixie! The ponies will all love you in Los Pegasus!"

"I know they shall!"

And Trixie was off.

-

"And that's how I was able to mess up King Sombra's entire scheme just by being there to help!"

"Thanks Spike! Your adventure was fun to listen to! I'll be sure to remember everything I learned from it!"

"My pleasure!"

-

"Is that a copy of Storm King's book 'How To Administrate An Empire Without Really Trying'?" Princess Twilight asked.

"I know the Hippogriffs just want to forget about him, but his empire covered half the planet, there might be Yetis out there who haven't realized how powerful friendship is and want to cause trouble, it's best to know how they think ahead of time."

"Great idea Cozy Glow!"

"Welcome!"

Session 85.13 Grogar-the-oneser

"So....did anyone else has somewhat racist stereotype dreams?" Silverstream asked as they were playing an RPG game.

"Well... I wouldn't call it dream as it was nightmare." Gallus said, he was a griffin, they don't eat sentient meat, semi-sentient fine but that about it.

"Not me, I just dreamt I got a lot of gold." Smolder sniggered.

"Oh, so you didn't have the princess dream?" Ocellus asked.

"Wha- OF COURSE NOT! dressing all frilly- ridiculous." Smolder cautiously laughed. "So err, what about the rest of you?" Smolder asked changing the subject.

I think I was nearly brainwashed in my sleep." Sandbar stated.

"How come?"

"Well for one, I thought of getting rid of other races. and for some reason Neighsay was more racist... more than usual, I mean."

"What you mean like a straw-creature?" Silverstream asked.

"Yeah." Sandbar stated.

"Yona doesn't understand that guy, he bad-mouths leader to face, even attempting to undermine. That deserve jail-time in yakyakistan." Yona stated.

"True that, if he tried to do that in the school all it would take is someone pointing out he's committing an act of treason" Gallus stated

"Yeah... but what are the chances of that." Sandbar stated.

"So what was the second reason?"

"Well another was that Fluttershy was cheering us." Sandbar stated.

"... Well that's ooc." Silverstream stated.

Session 85.14 Zaku789

During the magic draining

"Look out for that falling sign!!" one of the ponies shrieked.

"HA! The great and powerful Trixie isn't afraid, watch as I turn it to a TEACUP WITH WINGS!" She shoots a beam, or tries to.

"Huh-" She didn't have time to process the spell failed as the sign hit Trixie on the head.

"OHH!" the crowd winced.

"Err mam... are you-"

"STOP HESITATING AND GET THIS SIGN OFF THE GREATLY SQUISHED TRIXIE!" Trixie snapped.

(In the Crystal Empire)

"So nobody panic, but magic is being drained at an alarming rate, but I'm sure it's fine." Shining armor said to the crowd.

"But sir, didn't you say the crystal heart is magic and said magic keeps out the deadly storm of frozen death." A guard stated.

'Shut up!" Shining Armor whispered "Are you trying to cause a panic riot!... they're panic rioting aren't they?"

"Just five second before you even finish the sentence." The guard said.

"Just stop the riots and get the trains ready just in case for mass evacuations," Shining armor said.

"YES SIR!"

Session 85.15 Zaku789 (with edits by me)

"You ever feel your subject are acting like jerks?" King Leo asked.

"Constantly," Novo asked. Unlike the rest of their subject, the two get along quite well.

"I am really sorry about my subjects."

"It's fine. I keep telling my subjects we should stick to the coast, so it's my fault they're not completely listening," Queen Novo murmured.

"To be fair, my subjects have been provoking them, so the blame is also mine to bare." King Leo sighed.

"Well... let's hope Twilight school will at least turn the student we send into proper diplomat." Novo said.

"I'm sure things are going swimmingly."

"I HAVE NO MAGIC AND I THINK IT'S THAT HIPPOGRIFF's FAULT!!" Princess Wavedancer roared angrily.

"My transformation pearl isn't working, and I'm pretty sure it's that merpony's fault!"

Session 85.16 Alex Warlorn

Cozy Glow checked the sun dial. Chaos was unpredictable, unless it made time each week for a yellow pegasus.

Discord popped before her. "Cozy Glow! Did you really think you game could escape the spirit of-" There was a sound effect of circuits fizzling out, and Discord fell from where Cozy Glow was standing... on the third story balcony.

-

"Be sure to keep him sedated until he completely heals!" Cozy Glow implored. "If he has a concussion there's no telling what he'll do with his chaos magic, it might be a repeat of the day of chaos!!! And if his magic is completely gone, someone whose essence is so completely tied to his magic as him, it could cause permanent emotional trauma!"

Nurse Redheart nodded. She'd spent that horrible day trying to 'unseal' ponies. "Thank you for the advice Cozy Glow, we'll follow it to the letter, Princess Twilight trusted you with the friendship school must mean you're well versed with Discord's antics."

Cozy Glow nodded. "I've studied all his stupid mistakes."

Session 85.17 Alex Warlorn

Cozy Glow said, "And after convincing the king to face the dark lord in an honorable one on one duel, I set off the explosive ruins and 'sphere of obliteration' I hide underneath the arena, obliterating them both, and after I 'miraculously' survive the explosion, I tell the people that the king wished for none to resurrect him or bother with his retirement in the afterlife, and that he appointed me, his most trusted knight, to rule in his place and marry his son."

Shining Armor said, "... You sure are good at this."

"Thank you Game Master."

Shining Armor tried to pick up the dice... but this magic somehow, didn't want to work right.

Session 85.18 ardashir

Garble watched how Cozy Glow handled Discord. As he was carried away by the hospital ponies, he rolled on the floor laughing.

"Bwa-ahahaha! You mean some little pony hatchling took out Discord, AND Sunbutt, AND Moonbutt?" He only presumed the last part. "I gotta tell Ember this, we could take this country over in a day!" Wiping tears of joy from his eyes, he started writing. "Yeesh, why are we scared of these puny pones again?"

Nearby, only partly conscious in his hospital bed, Discord snarled weakly as he promised himself to make Garble suffer again if and when his magic returned.

Session 85.19 sonicandmario826

" In fact maybe if I take care of that brat these ponies will owe me and give me all their treasure."

Later

"HELP!!! That awful dragon is being mean to me!!!!!!" Cozy yelled giving the biggest puppy dogs a pony could give.

Garble rolled is eyes and then noticed he was surrounded by a very angry pony mob.

"GET HIM!!!"

The ponies suddenly rushed him creating a cartoonish dust cloud. Last thing Garble remembered seeing before blacking out was Cozy giving an evil smirk.

One horrible beating later

Garble was in a body cast and winced once he was placed in the bed next to Discord. Discord gave a smirk.

Garble simply replied with, "Shut Up.".

Session 85.20 Grogar-the-oneser

"Discord taken care of, check!"

"Dragon took care of." Cozy Glow looked out the window, towards the mob beating up Garble "Check."

"Stupid princess of the merponies..." At this Cozy glow open a room showing Wavedancer with all but her head frozen "Check."

"Why am I on your list!?" Wavedancer yelped

"Well your royalty and might have a way to contact your people to aid and/or avoid Equestria, and I can't have that. But mostly I'm doing it cause I find you SUPER annoying. I mean seriously, the fight with that hippogriff, gets old fast." Cozy Glow stated.

"IT'S A SERIOUS ISSUE!" Wavedancer said "And when my fellow-"

"Your fellow student believe you move back to Aquastria cause you can't stand that hippogriff no more." Cozy Glow stated "I cannot tell you how many people accepted that explanation and move on... Anyway, I might unfreeze once my evil plans is completed. TOODLES!" Cozy glow stated as she closed the door and place a 'Do not disturb' sign.

Session 85.21 Grogar-the-oneser (with edits)

After rescuing Neighsay

"Huh?" Sweetie Belle muttered as she saw the 'Do not disturb' sign. She placed her ear close and could hear muffled yelling "Hey, I think I found something."

"Huh?" Both crusaders muttered as they open the door and were surprised to see a mostly frozen Wavedancer.

"What happen to you?" Scootaloo questioned

"YOUR PRIZE PUPIL HAPPENED!" Wavedancer snapped

"Ahh... Sorry about that. But to be fair, we didn't know she was pure evil." Applebloom said

"Why did she attack you anyway?"

"Cause, she was worried I might contact my people and warn them about equestria magic drain!" Wavedancer

"Oh that make sense." Scootaloo stated

"Also..."

"Hmm?"

"Have I... really alienated people by only talking about one subject?" Wavedancer asked hesitantly

"Well... now not the best-'

"It just that I have other things to talk about-"

"Okay but we-"

"I mean sure, Maybe I took it too far with the hippogriff, but it not my only character trait." Wavedancer rambled

"Err, should we leave..." Scootaloo asked

"I don't think we can, She's having a revelation." Sweetie belle said

"I'm sure it won't last long."

"There was that time I showed you my sea jewel collection but you were too busy learning the Yak smash dance."

-

"Then there was when I wanted to share with you the ancient treasure map to the hidden sea palace that only opens every 1000 years for an epic adventure."

-

"And when on Miss Starlight Glimmer's advice I tried to arrange a swimming club only to find the hippogriff had beaten me to it."

-

"And the time I tried to sing for the entire class but Pinkie Pie was playing the Yak pipes at the time and everyone thought I was a siren and tried to throw me into another universe."

-

"And the time I wheeled all the way in a wheel chair to your club house to ask you for help in friendship tutoring, and your grandmother mistook my chair for a bucket to water the apple trees with!"

-

"AND THEN THE ABYSSIANS TRIED TO EAT ME!"

-

"I GET IT!" Sweetie Belle said. "You were trying to interact with us! And you got ignored, and you fight with Silverstream was a cry for helping hoping that someone would come and solve your friendship problem and you could make friends with me! We're sorry!"

"... Thank you!" Wavedancer hugged her. "By the way... did you say your last name was Belle?"

"... Yes?"

"I think I saw that name in the family scrolls somewhere..."

Session 85.22 ardashir

"Students, I'm very proud of you," Twilight said, leading the students along a corridor in the residential part of the friendship palace. "You saved Equestria, and I think you've shown that you're fit to be trusted with a little secret we've been keeping."

"Oh! Oh!" Silverstream waved her claw. "You're a space alien?"

"No."

"Pink party pony right when she tell us all reality merely a show for bored Shadows?" Yona asked.

"No," Twilight blinked, "and I think Pinkie needs to cut back on the sugar again."

"The Friendship School is part of a long-term plan to conquer all other races by making their future leadership pony-indoctrinated? What?" Smolder looked around at her stunned friends. "I heard it from Garble."

"No!" Twilight snapped and then smiled. "I need to talk with Garble. I mean, I was talking about the rumors everyone has heard about the magic mirror I own --"

"You mean the one to that other universe with the hairless monkeys?" As Twilight stared at Gallus, the other students nodded while he said, "We've known about that for months. Discord told us, Starlight told us, even Spike told us about it."

"Yes, we were kind of hoping," Ocellus blushed as she buzzed along, "if maybe, one day, you could take us through it?" Her friends nodded and began talking excitedly.

"Maybe," Twilight said as she opened the door to her rooms. "One day. If I think you won't get in trouble. But right now?" She walked into the book-filled room. The mirror gate stood in the center, still connected to the magically-driven generators that kept it open out of cycle. On a table nearby stood something else.

The students spoke as one. "What's that?"

"'That' is something from the other world, where my Canterlot High friends live," Twilight trotted over to it. "It's called a 'computer', and I want to introduce you to something called 'World of Horsecraft'. You might recognize a lot of it..." She broke off as Silverstream flapped past her to look at the screen. It was currently set to one of the site's chatrooms.

"Wow, it's like hundreds of ponies are speaking all at once here, but what are those words?" She leaned close, peering as she read. ''You're a 'n00b'? 'Tirek is the best villain, and this new upgrade is awesome'? 'Diamond Wolves better than dumb horse-birds' -- HEY!"

Ocellus joined her. "Uh, why are so many of them questioning the intelligence and parentage of the other people talking?"

"Heh!" Twilight got in between them and the computer. "Maybe we don't need to start there." She tried to block Ocellus, but the little Changeling managed to read something else. She gasped.

"That comment about Tirek is signed 'Empress of Friendship'! You don't think it was Cozy?"

"If it was," Smolder grinned and rubbed her claws, "she ain't coming back to play any more."

***

Meanwhile in the Canterlot High Universe:

"Hey, guys, any of ya see what happened ta that new kid who was rallying all the pony players and demanding that Crystalsoft make it possible for ponies ta ally with Tirek?" Rainbow Dash asked over the connection as she and her friends fought another wave of Tirek's released demons. "She was all over the place while everyone was quarreling, but now she's gone."

"Guess she lost her account," Sunset said. "I thought she was some kid using their parent's credit card to pay for everything. Guess they booted her -- yow! Watch the attack spells these guys are using; if you defend with magic, they steal some of your energy!"

***

And down in Tartarus?

Cozy leaned back in her cell and smirked.

"What are you pleased about?" Tirek grumbled from the next cage over.

"Just thinking how nice Miss Twilight is going to react when she finds out that all her information, like her entry codes, on that stupid Horsecraft game has been posted on the troll sites," Cozy said contentedly.

Session 85.23 Jarkes

*spoilers for season 8 finale*

"Okay, so you all promise to NOT tell anypony that I got captured so easily by a filly? ESPECIALLY not Twilight?" Starlight said to the Student Six and the CMC.

"Yes, we promise," they all said.

"HAH! YOU of all ponies got captured by a filly?" Rainbow Dash laughed. "You are NEVER living this down!"

Starlight glared at Gallus.

"It wasn't me!" Gallus protested. "And I don't think any of the others did either. Right, guys?"

"Nope," replied Sandbar.

"No way!" said Silverstream.

"Yak no do that!" Yona said.

"I mean, it WAS hilarious..." Smoulder said.

"Um... no?" Ocellus replied.

"Then who--" Starlight's eyes suddenly widened. "DISCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORD!" she screamed towards the sky.

"I just couldn't help but let it 'accidentally' slip! It was too funny!" Discord said in his dimension where he was currently having tea with Fluttershy.

"That still wasn't very nice," Fluttershy admonished him. "Though... I guess it IS pretty funny..."

Session 85.24 zaku789

"So... what dimension was it?" Tirek asked

"Hmm?" Cozy Glow hummed curiously

"I don't believe it was just being sent to a random dimension. I think you wanting to send it to a specific dimension?" Tirek questioned

"Maybe, maybe not." Cozy Glow stated. "You just have to wait till it properly comes to fruition, anywho, want to continue, playing darts."

Session 85.25 MtangaLion

"As you can see," said Headmistress Twilight Sparkle, addressing her afternoon History of Gaming class, "the idea of an ancient villain sealed away for a thousand years is a common theme for adventure, not just in games, but also in our real life friendship missions!" She gestured towards the portraits floating on her left and right: Nightmare Moon, Discord, King Sombra, and Tirek. The students oohed, taking notes. "Would anycreature like to share a story of an ancient villain from the history of his or her own species?"

Gallus raised a claw. "I’ve got one! Grandpa Gruff told us that a thousand years ago, there was this griffon wizard who decided to be a total jerk-face. More than usual for griffons, I mean! He stole everygriffon’s bits with his magic, turned ‘em into magpies, you name it." Gallus gave the other young students a ‘Hah, top that’ smirk.

Twilight gasped, rushing over to his desk. "A thousand years ago?! And now he’s about to escape from his magical prison and get revenge on all of Griffonstone?!"

Gallus tilted his head, blinking at her. "Um, why would we have put him in prison?"

Twilight paused. "You banished him to another dimension, then? He could still be a threat?"

Gallus gave her a tired glare. "A bunch of badflank hero griffs broke into his castle and took care of him." He mimed drawing a claw across his throat. "Shhrrik! No more wizard."

"But, he could have escaped?"

"They stabbed him with their swords and claw-blades! Like, a lot! Spoilers."

"But maybe he still survived and swore vengeance?"

"Ugh, no! They paraded his body through town and burned it in the main square!"

Twilight’s eager grin had crashed just like the human computer in her office. "But... you can’t just... That’s not how..." Her face lit up. "Oh, I get it! There’s prophecy of his return, isn’t there? Or maybe an evil cult dedicated to resurrecting him?"

"Are you even listening?!!"

Silverstream leaned over and whispered to one of her new mer-pony friends. "Psst! Let’s not tell Miss Twilight about Dra-Gon."

Session 85.26 zaku789 (with edits)

"Oh we already defeated Dra-gon." Twilight scoffed.

"Wait seriously."

"Yep and from what I heard from Discord, his wife still pissed that's she not getting anymore kids," Twilight stated.

"Okay one of you jerks have to invade, I need to get my wife off me being defeated twice!" Dra-gon snapped

"Nothing doing. I don't want no sunburn," Ponythulu stated.

"But seriously you sure there no's cult, evil poltergeist, maybe even a zombie hurling insults?" Twilight asked Gallus.

"While the last one does fit Griffin behavior I have to again stress the fact, he was set on fire, which turn it to ash!" Gallus said annoyed.
"And the a griffin offered half their remaining life span to a spirit of death in exchange that the wizard's soul would NEVER EVER return to the land of the living in this or any other timeline across the multiverse!"

"... So maybe he created a magical duplicate of himself before then..."

Gallus groaned.

Session 85.27 MtangaLion, Asdarhir, with edits and Alex Warlorn

Later that day, after classes, some of the students were chilling at Sugarcube Corner. Sandbar was still looking at Gallus with something akin to awe. "Was all that, like, for real? I knew griffons were tough, but that story was seriously hardcore!"

Gallus slurped his milkshake noisily, making sure to get every last drop. "Eh, that's how griffons *a thousand years ago* did things. Nowadays, griffons would probably be like 'Let's ignore the wizard and maybe he'll go away.' I mean, who cares if some other losers got their bits stolen..." He checked under one wing, frowning. "What... Where's my bag of shinies!? Somecreature stole it! I'll rip their face off... Wait, nevermind! Found it."

"T-that's great," said Sandbar, teeth chattering.

Smolder watched this, blinking, and decided to crunch some of the rubies in her own sundae instead of commenting. "I bet Ocellus can top that. Changelings must have all sorts of enemies. From before they got lame and took a bath in Rainbow Falls, I mean."

Ocellus jumped, nearly spilling her rainbow-sprinkle sundae. "Huh? No, no n-no... I wouldn't want to BORE Headmistress Twilight with silly old stories about secret changeling kings! Or the huge feud Chrysalis started with... some wolf pack..." She froze, looking over her shoulder, and sure enough Pavel was at the next table over, ears perked and tail wagging with curiosity. "Uh, forget I said anything!"

-

Wind Rider and some other stallions drooled in the corner, meanwhile Chrysalis stroked stroke a brood of white squirming changeling grubs. "That's it dearie, grow up big and strong for mommy. I have so many games to teach you."

In the corner were games labeled, 'Conquer Equestria' 'First to Drain 6 Ponies Wins' 'Smite The Tootie Fruitie Traitors.' For ages grub to nymph, to imago.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?
What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 85.0 Kendell2
Session 85.1 Kendell2
Session 85.2 Alex Warlorn
Session 85.3 Ardashir (with edits by me)
Session 85.4 Alex Warlorn
Session 85.5 Kendell2 and Ardashir with edits
Session 85.6 Ardashir
Session 85.7 Mtangalion
Session 85.8 Alex Warlorn
Session 85.9 Ardashir
Session 85.10 Alex Warlorn
Session 85.11 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 85.12 Ardashir, Mtangalion, Alex Warlorn
Session 85.13 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 85.14 Zaku789
Session 85.15 Zaku789 (with edits by me)
Session 85.16 Alex Warlorn
Session 85.17 Alex Warlorn
Session 85.18 ardashir
Session 85.19 sonicandmario826
Session 85.20 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 85.21 Grogar-the-oneser (with edits)
Session 85.22 ardashir
Session 85.23 Jarkes
Session 85.24 zaku789
Session 85.25 MtangaLion
Session 85.26 zaku789 (with edits)
Session 85.27 MtangaLion, Asdarhir, with edits

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Picture by PixelKitties used with permission.

https://www.deviantart.com/pixelkitties/art/Ogres-and-Oubliettes-Players-Handbook-754948528

Session 86

Session 86.0 Kendell2

"So while you have come to this town to vanquish Losvir Di Gemuth, you don't know where to find him," Shining Armor explained in his 'Overseer voice'. "You're think it would be as simple as tracking the smog back to the source, but it's already spread and formed a choking cloud layer. Thus tracking it back isn't so easy. What do you do?"

"Obviously, we should just ask the locals, since they'd have seen the smog start spreading," said Bright Eyes.

"Aww, really? I was hoping we'd just rush the dungeon already," said Patch.

"There's nothing stopping us from doing that...except that knowing Shining Armor when it comes to gaming balance, if we go straight for the final dungeon we're getting curbstomped," Rainbow Dash replied.

"Question is where we should go to check..." Starlight said. "...Oh, right, D&D...I look around the town for where we should go to investigate."

"Do a Perception check," Shining replied.

One dice roll and calculation later.

"You see a tavern, a library, a town hall, and a shop," said Shining.

"Well obviously the library would have the most information," said Twilight, Bright Eyes nodded.

"But wouldn't the town hall be where the mayor would be and where we could find out what we need?" Starlight replied.

"But a shop would be where the adventurers and such go," Rarity pointed out. "So therefore we should go there."

"But those places are boring! Let's go to the tavern, that's where all the action happens in this kind of things!" said Patch, Rainbow giving agreement.

"...You're splitting us up into more manageable groups, aren't ya?" asked Applejack bluntly.

"Maybe," Shining Armor replied with a smirk.

So the group decided to split up:

Twilight, Glimmer, Bright Eyes, and Sweetheart went to the Library.

Starlight, Applejack, and Clover went to the town hall.

Rarity, Bon Bon, and Fluttershy went to the shop.

And Patch, Rainbow Dash, Melody, and Pinkie Pie went to the tavern.

"Okay, so what are we looking at in townhall?" asked Applejack.

*One observation check later*

"You see a couple ponies, but the place looks run down and somewhat dirty," said Shining Armor.

"I ask the nearest pony where's the mayor," Starlight explained.

"He looks at you, seeming nervous," Shining said, after the proper roll."He replies 'In the dragon's gullet.'"

"Oh..."

Session 86.1 Ardashir

Nightmare Night was getting closer, and it affected the games being played by the Student Six. They'd gone home over the summer, some of them, and now were back in Ponyville to get ready for another year of friendship education.

Which had also given Spike and Shining Armor that extra time to come up with some surprises for them.

***

"Huh? CHILL?" Gallus rolled his eyes at the box art, displaying ponies dressed in fashions a century out of date (the time of Blueblood's grandmother, Duchess Victory) on a lonesome road filled with fear and dread, and not noticing a frightful fiend that close behind them tread. He looked at a smiling Shining Armor at the head of the table. "Yeesh, another dopey 'scary' game? You're honestly trying ta sell us on this after last year?"

"I kind of agree," Ocellus said, still quiet but not quite as shy as last year. "I mean, we met all those monsters and villains and handled them."

"Well, you could help cleaning the library shelves," Shiny said innocently. "Headmistress Twilight would probably be delighted to have someone help her refile fifty books on algebra."

"Maybe the game won't be so bad," Smolder hurriedly said, her friends nodding. "What's it about, anyhow?"

"A-hem!" Shiny took a deep breath and spoke in his most pompous voice, "This game is something new. You youngsters are the latest inductees to a secret society, SAVE -- the Societas Argentei Via Aeterna, Eternal Society of the Silver Way -- that defends ordinary ponies and other creatures from monsters most beings refuse to admit exist --"

"Oh, oh!" Silverstream waved one claw. Beside her Yona grabbed her drink, buttered Yak tea, to make sure it didn't fall over. "You mean like how nopony believed in Nightmare Moon or King Sombra or Changelings or Tirek, even though they were all real and knowing they existed might have saved everyone a lot of misery?"

"Er, yes, something like that," Shiny pinned one ear back before going on with, "You all encountered some of these creatures and survived. Ghouls and ghosts, wolfponies and vampires, things even more horrible. You were recruited to SAVE because of that and you all swore to defend the innocent from going through what you did."

"If I met stuff like that I'd probably tell everygriff what ta look out for," Gallus grumbled. He ignored Shiny's frown as he said, "Yeesh, what kinda jerk learns about dangerous monsters and then keeps it a big secret?"

"Yona want to know how does game start?" The Yak looked at the map set out before them, showing what looked like a small rocky island. "And what makes it different?"

Even as she spoke the map began to glow, sparking. Shiny grinned evilly at them from the suddenly darkening room.

"Hey!" Smolder scratched at the floor, found it giving way under her claws like smoke. "What gives?!?"

"You'll all be going to an island off the coast of the Taurus Peninsula," they heard Shiny's voice say. "And as for what makes this different -- this game is done like the enchanted comics. Let's see how smart YOU are when it comes to hunting vampires!"

"VAMPIRES?" Six voices whinnied, chittered, shrieked, and snarled before their owners vanished into someplace else -- and reappeared in suitable attire on a rocky coastline.

"Vampires?" Sandbar said, the first to regain his equilibrium. He lowered his head and sighed relief. "Phew! Vampires, everyone knows how to handle them, right?"

"Yeah," Smolder said, seemingly undisturbed by the lady's traveling dress she wore. She waved one claw. "I mean, how tough are vampires, right?"

Shiny, who could hear what they were saying at the table back in 'reality', just smiled.

"Wait until they find out the first big lesson. Not all vampires are alike!"

(OOC: For those interested, this is basically a Victorian era game of CHILL, an old school tabletop horror rpg. And Macedonian Vampires in that game are very different from the usual kind.)

Session 86.2 Ardashir

"So!" Gallus yelled at Smolder. They, Ocellus, and Silverstream were flying at top speed, half carrying and half dragging Yona and Sandbar. Behind them a flock of thestrals turned vrykolakas flew in hot pursuit, fangs bared and snarling. "How tough are vampires, huh?"

"Bite me!" Smolder snapped back.

"They'll do it for me!" Gallus flew even faster.

One of their pursuers almost sank their fangs into Smolder's tail. She turned on her back and breathed fire. The vrykolaka squealed and dropped, collapsing into ashes. Which left only a dozen or so in pursuit.

"Right ahead!" Silverstream panted out the words. "There's -- a stream -- right ahead! Running water!"

The Student Six put on one final burst of speed. They heard the angry snarls of the vrykolakas, swore they could feel the claws snatching at their tails -- and they were over the stream.

"Yaah!" Smolder hovered just out of their reach over the stream. A dozen of the beasts faced them, crimson eyes aglow and fangs bared. She spewed fire at the nearest one. It dodged with a panicked hiss and flew back together with the others. They watched from a safe distance, snarling and licking their fangs.

"Why don't they try and head downstream to come around?" Sandbar gasped out. His sides heaved. Blood trickled from small cuts where he'd been clawed at by the vrykolakas. "And aren't these adventures suppose to be less, er..."

"Less of a nightmare?" Gallus said, some of his usual snark coming back. "And they're too hungry ta try anything clever, remember? Remember that village?"

They all shuddered. They'd found the village on the first day, quickly won the locals' confidence with promises of destroying the vampony, singular, they expected to face. They then herded them into the local temple where they got the priest to bless the iron they bore and headed out for the vrykolaka.

They found it in the graveyard and were able to kill it, catching the creature shortly before the sun went down. It rose in the darkness of its crypt and attacked, but some reflected sunlight courtesy of the mirror Yona dragged along reduced it to ashes. Feeling a bit cheated they headed back for the town.

And walked into a nightmare. There was a whole flock of vamponies here, not just one; and somehow they had torn the temple down.

"But it's sacred, they can't touch it," Sandbar had said, stunned as they saw the devastation. "How did they destroy it?"

However they did it, the few surviving villagers staggered away from the ruin and into the waiting fangs of the vrykolakas. The Student Six arrived in time to see the vrykolakas finishing the last of them. Morning had been close enough to drive them off, and the Student Six saw to the blood-drained ones before setting the rest aside as they prepared to finish the rest of the vamponies.

They did so on a small island in the middle of a stream running through the town, which was all that saved them. For that night all the dead villagers they hadn't burned courtesy of Smolder rose as vrykolakas and tried to attack them.

"Since when do vamponies turn anyone they kill into vampires?!?" Gallus yelled.

"Since now!" Silverstream yelled back. She and Ocellus worked out a trick of turning into their sea pony forms, luring one of the vrykolakas close, and suddenly pulling them into the running water. They seemed to melt in moments. None of the other hungry vamponies either noticed or cared what befell their flockmates, and only with sunrise did their attackers flee.

Yona brought them back to the present.

"Uh, Yona wants to know, what ugly bat-pony monsters doing?"

The Yak pointed at the flock, gathered away from the broad and deep stream and staring at it intently.

Sandbar noticed it first, dancing from one hoof to the other. "Earthquake!"

"Huh? What?" Smolder gave him a disbelieving look. "Vamponies can't make earthquakes!"

"These ones can," Ocellus groaned. "Now we know how they wrecked that temple!"

A moment later the earth shook and heaved. They fought to stand upright as the ground cracked right across the streambed. The water drained into the thirsty earth, leaving a fine dry patch for the vrykolakas to cross over.

Leering and licking their fangs, they did so.

"Ahhh!" Ocellus took off flying as one almost got her. "These adventures are supposed to have safety limits! This is worse than a horror movie! What is Mister Shining Armor thinking of?"

***

Back in the real world, the being in the form of Shining Armor smirked evilly to hear those words.

"I know what I'm thinking of," they hissed as the form of Shining Armor melted away to reveal that of a Changeling Princess. Imago said, "Of how easy it was to get rid of those safety limits. And how I'll be doing better than Mom ever did when I get rid of all of you! That'll teach those stupid ponies!"

Her wicked laughter filled the room as they terrifying story went on.

Session 86.3 Kendell2

"Wow...your censorship and copyright laws are a lot more lax than ours...a lot more reasonable too..." said Bright Eyes, having been looking at some books Twilight had (because Twilight was Twilight and always had books no matter where she was).

"Yeah...we have Discord to thank for that," Rainbow Dash begrudgingly admitted.

"It turns out in a universe where gods of concepts are things that exist, it's possible for copyright law and censorship to become a malevolent god and try to take over the world," Twilight explained. "Discord was on 'take out the upstart supervillain' patrol at the time..."

A giant black square with a massive hammer looking like a gavel floated. "Fear me! I am the newly born god of Censorship and Copyright! I will conquer the world and make everything perfect, acceptable, and not infringing on any intellectual properties!"

"By who's standards?!" asked 8-Bit, looking up at it.

"By mine! For you equines are too foolish to know what's best for you!" announced the cube, glowing and beginning to spread an energy that converted everything into socially acceptable grey, boring blobs.

"Not if I can help it!" Discord appeared before it dressed in Captain Goodguy's outfit.

"Ha! You cannot defeat me! Only family friendly actions are possible in my presence!" yelled the evil god.

"Oh really?" asked Discord.

= Theme Song - Batman 1960s =

Discord launched at the giant cube and punched it...but before any contact could be showed, a huge comic book POW! splash obscured the entire view of both combatants, after which the cube flew backwards with a scream.

"No! How did you know you could hit me so long as it was comically obscured by a comic book splash?!" asked the cube in disbelief.

"Because Batmare 1960s and Big Bad Beetleborgs are classic television!" Discord announced. "And because I did so for comedic effect it's a homage and perfectly legal!"

Discord dodged several beams and gave it a comic splashed obscured beating before he produced a laser sword.

"Ha! Use that and I can sue you!" the evil god yelled.

Discord merely slashed it, but the only sound was a chicken clucking as it yelled. "This is my royalty free blade! Anything connecting it to THAT weapon has been removed! It is completely legal!"

"No! Legal loopholes! My only weakness!" yelled the cube as it was attacked.

*One battle later*

"Ha! You can't kill me! Killing isn't family friendly!" yelled the cub, despite being cracked.

"Ha! But you have forgotten one thing! You are aren't a human, pony, and or animal and have no blood! Therefore you can be 'destroyed' without any qualms!" Discord yelled, pointing dramatically.

"...You wouldn't hit a cube with glasses on, would you?" asked the cube, suddenly wearing a pair of glasses.

"Ha! Tricked you into ripping off Loony Tunes!" Discord exclaimed. "You know how copyright happy big corporations are!"

"...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" the cube screamed, before flicking like a fading TV image before a giant 'Taken Down for copyright claim' image appeared on its 'face' and it exploded in a chain reaction explosion.

"And once again, the day is saved, thanks to DISCORD!" Discord announced dramatically.

"...That actually happened?" asked Bright Eyes in disbelief.

"Yep," Shining Armor replied. "I filed the paperwork."

"...Your world is insane..."

"I prefer epic," replied Rainbow Dash.

Session 86.4 Mtangalion

President Sombra leaned back in his throne-like leather office chair, steepling his fingers. “So, you have a new idea for World of Horsecraft?”

Tirek grinned darkly. “Indeed, I do. It’s called… Crystal Coins.”

Sombra furrowed his brow. “Crystal Coins? The game is already full of marks and tokens and seals. What will these Crystal Coins do?”

“They will create and monetize all new avenues of exchange, and ascribe a real-world value to the players’ in-game assets!” boomed Tirek. When Sombra continued to stare blankly, Tirek added, “They’re going to make us a great deal of money.”

“Ah! I do like making more money! But how are they going to do that?”

“It’s quite simple,” purred Tirek, placing a quarter-bit coin on Sombra’s desk for a prop. “Players who desire additional gold will spend twenty bits to purchase a Crystal Coin in game.” He slid the coin across the desk. “Players with large amounts of gold can buy a Crystal Coin in the game, at a predetermined exchange rate, and redeem it for a month of game subscription time.” He dropped the coin into Sombra’s “piggy bank,” which resembled a red dragon with gold fins. “The normal price of a subscription is fifteen bits. “We’ll be making an extra five bits with each transaction!”

Sombra blinked several times. “Okay… even though you just explained all that to me in simple words, I’m still kind of confused.”

“Not to worry. The players will be equally confused.”

“Well, alright then!” Sombra hesitated. “But won’t players say that buying gold with bits is pay-to-win, and complain that it devalues accomplishments made with effort within the game?”

Tirek snorted. “Bah, World of Horsecraft is a video game! I’m certain people have more important things to be outraged about.”

Scootaloo grinned, practically bouncing with excitement. “This is it, girls! We finally got the last achievement for the meta, so we can summon…” A mount appeared beneath her World of Horsecraft character in a great puff of smoke, lifting her up. “... These sweet Gem Phoenix mounts!” The very shiny giant bird shrieked triumphantly, then allowed Scootaloo to take the reins and scratch its neck.

But then the ground started shaking, like an Ursa Major was stomping towards them! “Those mounts are okay, I guess,” said Diamond Tiara, leader of the (Crazy Rich Ponies) guild. She grinned smugly down at them from atop a full-grown dragon, which wore a harness with seats for herself and three other ponies. “But do your mounts come with mobile mailbox and auction house NPCs, like mine does?”

“What!” exclaimed Sweetie Belle. “You didn’t just… those things are worth five million gold!” She shook her head, turning away. “Just ignore her, girls. Real heroes don’t save Equestria by waving their wallets around… Apple Bloom! What are you doing!?”

Apple Bloom was talking to the auctioneer on Diamond’s mount. “Oh, sorry! All my weapon enchants sold and Ah kinda needed to post some more.”

Session 86.5 Ardashir (With additions by Alex Warlorn)

"I can't believe this is actually working," Gallus said, flapping his wings at the water-filled trench between the Student Six and the remaining vrykolakas. As the breeze from his wings hit the water, it caused it to ripple and flow gently back and forth. He shuddered as the hunger-crazed vampires glared at him, unable to cross the running water. "Guys? I'm getting a little tired here!"

"Wimp," Smolder panted from behind him. A woozy Ocellus and Silverstream stood nearby, their wings hanging as limp as hers. Smolder gasped out, "We kept it up for hours, so you can too." She coughed experimentally, and nothing came out but hot air. She wheezed her words. "I... didn't think... a dragon's fire could... run out! I musta roasted dozens of those things."

"I HAVE been keeping it up for hours!" Gallus glanced out of the cave they were backed into. The horizon looked to be the same dull gray it'd been for what felt like days now. "Yeesh, what kind of game IS this? Is Shining Armor trying ta kill us?"

"We almost safe," Yona stood ready to charge if need be. She snorted defiance at the undead monsters. "Game has to be over soon, right?"

"It'll be over soon," Sandbar gulped at the sight of the vrykolakas. "One way or another."

***

Imago snarled down at the game. "What's taking those vrykolakas so long? They should have gotten those brats long ago!" Normally that would simply hurl them back into the real world, rattled but unharmed, but she felt sure that with the brute force modifications she'd made to the spells ensuring the safety of the players, they'd end up monster chow.

"Oh, come on!" Imago glanced outside at the setting sun. "Those monsters are as dumb as Vordul and my fat grub of a sister!" She picked up the board and shook it furiously. "Hurry up and kill them already!"

She gulped when someone spoke behind her.

"Kill who already?"

Imago turned with a chitter-snarl, magic lighting up her horn. She'd dispose of whatever stupid pony was meddling and then...

Imago froze. Facing her was Princess Celestia; and behind Celestia the reason for her visit. Queen Novo, Prince Rutherford, Ember, some old buzzard of a griffon with a fez, that backstabbing freak Thorax. And all of them looking right at her with very unhappy expressions on their faces.

"Princess Imago, isn't it?" Celestia trotted closer, her voice cool and real anger in her eyes. Imago backed away, looking for an escape route. "I came here to meet my fellow rulers so we could see how the school and its students were doing. Instead we find the 'Student Six' missing and you of all creatures gloating over a game and --" Celestia looked at the game. Her eyes narrowed and a spell played along her horn.

"Hold her!" Celestia snapped. She hurled herself forward and vanished into the game board. As soon as she did Imago sneered and started for the door.

"Where do you think YOU are going?" Novo said. Ember added in her own opinion.

"Yeah, where's Smolder and the rest of the students?"

"Beats me," Imago sneered. "Real Changelings don't care what happens to dead cattle." They flinched and Imago exulted in the sudden wave of dread that rolled against her senses. She drew herself up and spoke as she imagined her mother would.

"Now move aside from the path of your superior, vermin, or I'll destroy you! Got it?"

***

In the game.

"Guys... I got.. nothin' left!" Gallus collapsed with a gasp. His wings felt like lumps of lead. The score of vrykolakas stared at the water as one last ripple traveled along it.

"Guess this is it," Silverstream drew herself up, baring her talons. "But I'm going down fighting!" Beside her the exhausted Ocellus transformed into the best form she could manage, a pink-striped blue tiger. Sandbar snorted, rearing and boxing with his forehooves; Smolder bared draconic fangs and claws; Yona tossed her horns. None of them held any delusions how this would end.

The vrykolakas hissed as the last ripple stopped and flung themselves over the water-filled trench.

And the dawn itself came down into the tomb. The undead gave one thin collective wail before they collapsed into piles of ash that writhed for a second before they blew away.

"Princess Celestia?"

"Children," Celestia Solaria Invicta said to them, bowing her head in respect. "I trust you have played enough games for one day. It's time to be going." Her wings spread out over them, the light in the chamber intensified, and with a flash they were gone.

***

"Children, your rulers," Celestia said as they reappeared in the school. The exhausted students staggered to their relieved leaders. "My fellow rulers, your very brave and tired young subjects."

Imago spat in anger from where she lay pinhned under Thorax's claw. She gulped anew when Celestia and the others turned their gaze on her.

"And now, what to do with you?"

Session 86.6 Alex Warlorn

"See dears? That's what failing mommy looks like, don't do that," Chrysalis gestured at the screen, enlarging the scene of the crystal behind it (Chrysalis having broken the transmitter crystal ball into pieces and given to her minions and spies).

"Yes mommy!" The baby grubs all echoed.

"So uh," Locust asked. "I presume my queen, that you're going to just leave Imago to rot for having failed you again? In particular now that you have so many 'spares?'" 'General' Locust gestured at the brood of newborn changelings grubs from stock such as Wind Rider.

Queen Chrysalis gave him the most powerful of 'you are so stupid' looks. "Why? So she can betray me too? Get in comfy with Thorax, and get in line to the throne without having to topple me? A scheme I would be proud of her for. But not happening. Time to rescue my baby."

"But HOW my queen? We don't exactly have the numbers... of combat ready changelings... "

"Meh. Last time I was in that damn castle I got in and out without ever realizing I was ever there. I haven't lost my touch."

+++

"LOOK OUT! It's Chrysalis!" Shouted a royal guard.

A green eye Cadence shouted as she fled from her auntie's own guards, "No! It's me! It's Cadence!"

"You won't fool me again!" Shining Armor shouted trapped the green eyes Cadence in a rather uncomfortable force field bubble.

'Those low level cosmetic spells works ever time,' 'Shutter Bug' thought with a smile.

"Hello sir, I'm here to have an interview with the prisoner..."

+++

"HELP! I'm being held hostage!"

+++

"Here's a 'History of Most Evil Magical Tyrants' you wanted as an apology for being used in Princess Imago's escape Miss Shutter Bug."

"Oh thank you!"

+++

"NOW WRITE ON THAT BOARD 1000 times, 'Always have an escape route planned!' " Chrysalis said, back at the miserable castle ruins the 'swarm in exile' called home.

"... Yes mother."

Session 86.7 Kendell2

"Alright, everypony ready for Nightmare Night?" asked Twilight, the group getting ready.

"Ready," said Spike, looking at one of the Enchanted Comics to make sure his Humdrum costume was perfect. He then blinked, noticing it vibrating. "Uh, Twilight?"

"Yes?" Twilight asked, looking over to him and blinking as he dropped the now glowing comic. "We can't do an Enchanted Comic right now!"

"I didn't do anything!" Spike replied.

Applejack blinked. "Wait, didn't Chrysalis's psycho daughter mess with some Enchanted Comics?!"

Suddenly the Enchanted Comic exploded, Twilight pulled Spike away.

When the smoke cleared, the group heard familiar insane laughter.

"Haha! Hello again, Power Ponies!" cackled the Maneiac, looming over them with her hair holding her.

"...So, turns out messing with the safety features can make a supervillain come to life, who knew?" asked Rainbow Dash, eyes wide.

"Now you'll have to excuse me, I have to conquer..." said Maneiac, looking out the window. "Hmm...where are we?"

"Ponyville..." Fluttershy politely answered.

"Ponyville! MWHAHAHAHA!" she cackled, climbing out the window and jumping onto a nearby house.

"...Well, Nightmare Night just got more eventful..." Starlight commented.

"So, you boobytrapped an Enchanted Comic to unleash a supervillain on the real world," Chrysalis said, watching via magic crystal ball.

"Yeah, that is exactly what I wanted to happen! Hahahaha!" Imago replied, eyes darting. "...Am I still grounded?"

"...We'll see."

OOC: Little Nightmare Night arc. This is meant to be played for laughs, not drama, have a ball with what unleashing the Maneiac (still acting in 'game master' mode) on Ponyville during Nightmare Night.

Session 86.8 Alex Warlorn and Kendell2

"Shouldn't we be worried?"

"Naw. This isn't like the Book Worm spawning fictional beings into reality. If they could create an army of elite royal guards out of nothing, it wouldn't be used to create LARP pocket realities. She'll just follow her programming to follow the narrative, but she'll also without anything to sustain her existence, simply dissolve. Like how all those donuts Pinkie Pie took from Maretropolis dissolved into nothing."

"I was curious about that."

Rarity asked, "But doesn't that mean until she dissolves, she'll be a supervillain capable of throwing carts with her hair acting like one in Ponyville not realizing she's around NORMAL ponies?"

"Maybe she'll get confused and shut down, that enchanted comic WAS empty of anyone but us, Maniac, and her goons, and apparently a shop NPC or two."

"You forget one thing, darling: Imago messed with the programming. It's hard to tell WHAT that budding little psychopath may have changed."

"Guys! She's a glorified illusion spell! What's the worst she can do?"

A cart crashes through the wall.

"Power Ponies! Come out and play!"

Spike asked, "Am I the only one who remembers Royal Changelings are Demi-Gods?"

"Shouldn't she be attacking us? Or at least trying to kidnap Spike since he's dressed up like Humdrum? Since we're her 'primary targets'?"

"Thanks for reminding me!" Hair reached through the window and grabbed Spike who screamed as he was dragged through.

Rarity glared at Twilight.

Rainbow Dash shouted, "QUICK! THINK! What are some comic book stuff we can use against her?!"

Session 86.9 Mtangalion

At the far end of her family’s junkyard, Gilda climbed out of her truck, shiny new dog collar in hand. “There you are!”

The mangy junkyard dog, brick red with a pale underbelly and a brighter gold scruff and tail, growled mildly at Gilda, then scratched his no-doubt flea-ridden ears with a hind paw.

Gilda smirked. “You don’t know what a sweet deal you’re getting, mutt.” She approached slowly, collar and leash in one hand and dog treats in the other. “I didn’t exactly plan on becoming your registered owner, but when I do that, I do it right. C’mere, boy…”

The dog’s eyes widened. “I’m not wearing some lame collar like that!”

Gilda fell over backwards. “Bucking Tartarus!!”

Sunset Shimmer wasn’t writing in the magical journal fast enough to suit Gilda, so she grabbed the journal and did it herself. “Are you sure you’ve got the right Garble over there?!” she bellowed, scribbling furiously. “Cause the Garble over here never stops flapping his yap!”

Sunset gave her a flat stare. “It’s a book. I don’t think shouting at it will help.”

Gilda blinked. “Good point. I’ll write in all caps.”

In her fenced backyard, bright and early the next morning, Gilda sipped scalding hot coffee from a thermos. “Okay, class, listen up!”

Her “class” numbered just two. Ember was bright and eager, hanging on mistress’ every word and practically bouncing in place. Garble sat beside her grumpily, freshly washed and brushed and de-pested, thanks to an intervention from Fluttershy, AND he wore the ‘lame’ collar. “Eh, whatever.”

Gilda ignored that. “This ought to be super-easy, since I’ve been ‘blessed’ with dogs that actually understand what I’m saying.” She smacked a rolled-up newspaper into the palm of one hand. “There’s two kinds of puppers around here. Good boys and girls… and bad dogs!” She grinned at Garble, as if daring him to put a paw out of line. “And believe me, you don’t want to be a bad dog.”

Garble sat back and folded his forepaws across his chest. “Stupid mistress. Garble isn’t just good boy, he’s the best boy!”

Gilda pointed the newspaper at Garble. “Big talk, mister, but can you back it up? Rule number one, good boys don’t poop inside the house, or else!”

Gilda pointed at the muddy tracks on the carpet. “Good boys wipe their paws before they come in!”

Gilda smacked her face with her palm. “Good boys don’t shed all over my bed!”

Gilda sighed. “Good boys don’t taunt Torch if they know what’s good for ‘em.”

Gilda clenched her fist, waving a receipt. “Good boys do not take mistress’ credit card and buy level-boosts from the World of Horsecraft shop!!”

Garble and Ember were both pawing at their tablet computers, guiding their diamond wolf adventurers through a new Ascension expansion dungeon. “What, really?” said Garble. “On Internet, no one knows we’re dogs?”

Ember nodded enthusiastically. “That’s what Spike said. I don’t really get it, though.”

Garble scratched his ears. “Huh. Hey, want to make puppies?”

Ember bonked him in the face with a pillow.

Session 86.10 Alex Warlorn

"What do ya mean ya ain't gonna turn us into our costumes?!" Apple Bloom asked agitated, dressed up as an Alicorn Princess.

"We were kinda banking on it," Sweetie Belle said, dressed up as a 'classic' changeling queen with a white carapace.

"Tell me about it," Scootaloo said dressed up as Firefly The First.

"EXACTLY!" Discord exasperated. "Everypony now EXPECTS ME to do it! It's no fun anymore! There's no surprise! No shock! They just accept it's going to happen! It's not fun anymore!"

"MWAAAHAH!" Laughed the Mane-iac evilly.

The CMC glared at Discord.

"I SWEAR it wasn't me!"

Session 86.11 Kendell2

"So, where's the vice mayor?" asked Starlight.

A roll later.

"In the basement, terrified and waiting for the end," said Shining through the NPC.

"Well let's go talk tah him," Applejack replied.

"You'll have to find a way in, he locked the door behind him and has the only key with him."

"So, we're in a tavern," said Rainbow Dash. "How do we go about this?"

"How about we sing a song to lighten the mood?" Melody asked.

"Aww, that's boring..." Patch replied with a groan.

"Oh, and what's your idea?" asked Melody.

*Five minutes later*

"Your idea was to start a bar room brawl to beat it out of them?" asked Melody as Rainbow and Patch fought nearly everyone in the tavern, herself and Pinkie just singing on stage and talking to the few tavern goers who weren't combative.

"No! My idea was to pickpocket a map out of one of their pockets!...I'm a Chaotic Good Rogue! It's kinda my thing!" Patch replied, though clearly having fun. "Rainbow's idea was the ballroom brawl."

"I'm a Chaotic Good Barbarian! It's kinda MY thing!" Rainbow replied, seeming happy to have someone else in a play session willing to go Leeroy Jenkins into a brawl.

"...For the record, if Ah were in their part of the party, then Ah'd have stopped that," Applejack stated.

"And I'd normally stop Patch," Starlight replied.

"Uh, Twiley? Is your group gonna do anything?" asked Shining. "Other than look at every book in the library?"

"Oop! Sorry!" Twilight and Bright Eyes replied at the same time.

Session 86.12 Ardashir

Outside, panicky ponies fled in all directions as the Mane-iac snatched up yet another cart and hurled it through the side of the castle. She ignored Spike's desperate attempts at breaking free as she called mockingly, "Power Ponies! Come out and plaa-ayy!" She gave Spike a crushing squeeze that left him turning more colors than usual. "Or I'll destroy Humdrum!"

"Lemme go, ya crazy supervillain!" Spike fought against the Mane-iac's grip. Her mane might just be hair, but it felt like a steel cable around him. "They're not the Power Ponies! This is real life, not a comic book!"

He gulped as she swung on him with a sneer.

"I know it's real life, Humdrum!" She shook him and laughed. "You're as helpless and useless as ever!" Ignoring Spike's complaints, she looked about. "Bah, a master villain like me needs some underlings. Are there any unemployed thugs with a knowledge of basic mane care around?"

"She's talkin' about you, Miss Prissy Pants!"

"Don't you dare push me out there, you brainless blonde thug!"

Mane-iac and Spike both looked to see half a dozen mares come rolling out from behind one of the food stands in whinnying and hoof-boxing ball. "I hate you meany-pant jerks!... Yeah, well, we don't like you either frizz-top!... That was my cider, you losers!... For pete's sake, STOP FIGHTING! You dummies ruined everything last time like this!"

"Huh?" Spike blinked at a very unfamiliar sight. "Rarity? Applejack? Twilight? How did you guys get out here?" The mares glared at him, looking disheveled and messy. "And, uh, why are you fighting?"

"We were always out here," Applejack said. Her face held a cold sneer as she said, "An' we're fighting over who hates ya more, ya nasty little lizard!"

"Wh-what?" Spike blinked back tears. "What are you talking about?"

"Ha-hahaha!" Mane-iac shook him as she laughed madly. "Maybe they finally figured out how much of a useless load you are, Humdrum."

"Yeah, that's right!" The new Twilight stepped forward, a wicked gleam in her eyes. "We used to us, work for another supervillain but when she lost we left and we've been hiding out on the edge of town for a few weeks," she waved one hoof off towards what Spike vaguely recalled was an old abandoned house that recently got a reputation for being haunted. Twilight looked back at the Mane-iac and Spike before saying, "But if you want to get rid of the Mane Six -- I mean Power Ponies?"

"We're just dying to help."

(OOC: I hope including the Mean Six who were living in the old abandoned house won't make things too difficult. If so, then ignore this.)

Session 86.13 Ardashir

"Okay, so what are we gonna do about the Mane-iac?" Dash asked her friends.

"Ask her nicely if she wants to give up?" Fluttershy said in her soft voice.

"Ah don't think that's gonna work, darlin'," Applejack pointed outside. The Mane-iac was facing a pair of Royal Guard reservists, one of them Silver Spoon's father, in their hastily-donned armor.

"For the last time, whoever you are, drop that dragon and raise your, ah, mane!" One of them demanded.

"Raise my mane?" The Mane-iac laughed madly. "Gladly!" Twin green tendrils lashed out and snatched both guardsponies into the air. Before they could move, she clonked their heads together and hurled their semiconscious forms into a pile of pumpkins.

Rarity gulped. "Perhaps, darlings, we could ask for some help? Where are Starlight and Trixie? Or Discord, for that matter?"

"Uh, well," Fluttershy said, "Discord told me earlier that he was going to drop in to check Ponyville out, but then he was going to visit some old friends and 'show them the spirit of Nightmare Night'. He didn't say who."

***

Many miles away, at the foot of Mount Epona, a towering and very demonic-looking Discord cackled with glee as he held both his claws over a pit of fire. Wailing ghosts and demons flew about his horrid form. Nearby a battered record player played Night on Bald Mountain.

"Now dance!, Dance, my hideous pets!" He shook his hands, trying to dislodge the desperate beings that clung to them. "Oh, don't you wish you could still fly?"

"I'LL KILL THAT DRACONEQUUS FOR THIS!" Chrysalis snarled, currently in the form of a gorgeous unicorn. She gripped Discord's claw with the strength born of terror. "Not least for trapping me in the form of a hideous cattle!"

"Stop your yelling!" Adagio Dazzle yelled over to her. She and Aria and Sonata were currently in the form of a three-headed chimera. Over their heads, a shining silvery ball glowed as an electronic version of Sabbat Night Fever played, and they danced uncontrollably to it. "At least you don't have to listen to the worst genre of music ever made all night long!"

"Ah, it's not so bad," Aria said, currently the snake part of a chimera, her serpentine form writhing to the music.

***

"Well, darlings, what about Starlight Glimmer and Trixie?"

Twilight shook her head.

"They took the Student Six to see some new horror movie at the Ponyville Theater."

Rarity shuddered. "Not another griffon movie! Tempest told me Grbber had nightmares for weeks!"

"No, this is a Changeling movie."

***

On the screen at the theater, a pair of entranced Changelings stared helplessly at the light before them. Behind them their fellow cried out in terror.

"No, Love Bug, Dung Beetle! Don't go into the light! NOOO!" As the Changeling screamed in terror, light flared and two Changelings shrieked their last.

"I love the 'Zapper' franchise!" Ocellus cheered, keeping her claws over her eyes at the same time. "I mean, I guess I would if I ever dared to watch it."

Beside her Starlight glared. "For this I gave up a costume party in the Crystal Empire with Sunburst."

Session 86.14 Mtangalion

Rainbow Dash snorted, watching the Mane-iac tearing her way through a row of Nightmare Night market stalls, laughing all the way. “Well, since the real Power Ponies aren’t here to stop her…”

Twilight sighed. “Call me crazy, but…”

“You’re crazy!” shouted Pinkie Pie. She munched from a bag of caramel popcorn, chewing noisy.

“But bringing more fictional characters into the real world would be the exact opposite of getting this situation under control!”

“In that case,” said Rainbow dramatically, “we have just one chance…” She flew over to Rarity. “Hey, do you still have…” She whispered the rest.

Rarity blinked. “Second closet on the left, blue trunk in the back.” Rainbow zoomed away, leaving Rarity talking to a fading rainbow trail. “Try not to rip the fabric!”

“Bwahaha!” cackled the Mane-iac, dumping two more buckets full of Nightmare Night candy into her bag of loot. “Your valuables are hair today, gone tomorrow, Ponyville! For there is nopony who can stop me!”

Suddenly, an explosion of purple smoke filled the end of the square. “That’s where you’re wrong, Mane-iac! You thought that you could leave Maretropolis and do whatever you pleased, but Ponyville has a Champion of Justice too!”

The Mane-iac hissed, tossing Spike aside and drawing her hair-tentacles into a thorny defense around herself. “Who dares?!”

“I am the rain that booms in the night!” shouted the voice within the purple smoke. “I am the split ends that ruin your Gala!”

Mane-iac whipped her mane and fired a barrage of hair needles into the cloud. “Hah! Sorry to cut you short, hero, but that introduction was so long, it was going gray!”

“Hah, you fell for it!”

“Huh!?” Suddenly, the Mane-iac was shocked by a thundercloud directly over her head, almost invisible in the dark. “Gah! Show yourself!”

Rainbow Dash slowly descended from the thundercloud, wearing a purple costume with a wide-brimmed hat and a cape that flapped dramatically in the breeze she’d summoned herself. “Back by popular demand, in a special one night only appearance!” Rainbow pointed a forehoof at her. “You face… Mare Do Well! Let’s get dangerously awesome!”

Session 86.15 Alex Warlorn

It was just another happy day in Ponyville, which meant something HAD TO go wrong. In this case, Twilight Sparkle heard vile insults being thrown at each other, along with fists flying... Coming from the cutie mark map room, Princess Twilight ran... to find Button Mash and Spike duking it out, Earth Pony strength and dragon strength being tested, as both have black eyes.

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK JERK!"

"NEVER SUPER-JERK!"

"SUPER-DUPER-JERK!"

Spike tried to burn Button Mash, but the foal locked Spike's muzzle closed with his front legs, and began punching Spike in the gut with his REAR LEGS!

"Stop this right now!" Princess Twilight boomed, and pulled the two apart with her magic. "Now what is going on around here!"

"Spike is an idiot!"

"No Button Mash is an idiot!"

"Nobody is an idiot here until I say so, so WHY do you think the other is an idiot!"

"Spike thinks Ogre-Born should be an off-shoot of Ogres created to serve ogres who broke free! That's stupid! The rules are clearly set for your player character becoming an Ogre-Born!"

"Button Mash thinks Ogre-Born should be ponies, griffins, etc, who choose to become Ogre-Born transforming themselves for the sake of the good ogres fighting the evil ogres! That's stupid! Those rules are out dated!"

"There's nothing official saying those rules are rejected!"

"It's common sense moron!"

"It's common sense that my origin was first, and yours was invented during Ogres and Oubliettes' moron age! You're just going with it because you don't wanna admit those new splat books suck!"

"THEY DO NOT!!" Spike tried to breath fire again.

Twilight Sparkle sighed. This was gonna be a long day.

Session 86.16 whitebearboy

(Continued from Section 84.3)

"Aww, Toriel is so kind, she's acting like a mother to this lost child she just met." Fluttershy said in an affectionate tone as she made her character follow the goat-like woman who had saved her from Flowey through the Ruins. "She has a training dummy, but she says I'm supposed to practice talking to it instead of fighting it. You were right Rainbow Dash, this is EXACTLY my kind of game!" the kind-hearted girl said as she chose ACT on the combat screen with the Dummy and selected the TALK option. The Dummy couldn't actually talk back, but she felt proud when she successfully spared her first monster.

As she went farther into the Ruins and met a monster who resembled a frog and some more that resembled shy moth-fairy creatures, she suddenly had an unsettling thought. "R-Rainbow Dash, I want a spoiler, is Toriel actually as nice as she's acting now, or is she gonna turn out to be mean and scary like that Flower?" Fluttershy asked her oldest friend nervously. "Oh, she's definitely nice, most of the fanbase thinks the kid should be adopted by her permanently after the game, but that's a long ways off from where you are now." Rainbow Dash answered. "Ok, that's great to hear." said Fluttershy confidently as she continued playing. When her character went to sleep in Toriel's house and woke up to find a piece of pie on a plate waiting for them, the yellow-skinned teenager looked like she was going to melt with adoration "Toriel seems like...like everything a mother should be, I hope I'm just like her when I'm older and have a child of my own."

Rainbow Dash went to grab a quick snack while Fluttershy was playing Underlegend, and when she came back Fluttershy looked upset. "What's wrong, Flutters? Did you get stuck?" Rainbow asked, concerned. "T-Toriel said that the six children who fell down before me all left the Ruins and were k-killed. That is so sad!" Fluttershy told her friend as a tear ran down her cheek. "And now she's making me fight her to prove I'm strong enough to survive, and I keep using the TALK option, but nothing changes! What do I do, I can't kill her!" Fluttershy started sobbing.

Session 86.17 Grogar-the-Oneser

"Remember the froggit advice." Rainbow Dash advice.

"I am trying to save Toriel life and you want to talk in riddles!" Fluttershy cried.

"I'm not talking riddles, I'm talking about the Froggit advice, you know... about saving." Rainbow Dash stressed the last word.

Session 86.18 Grogar-the-Oneser

Spoiler for the latest comic.

In Princess Eris Castle, where every multiverse variants of villains were having a good time.

"Wait, you didn't take Shining Armor place?" A rather regal looking Chrysalis questioned.

"Err... no?" Chrysalis muttered "Should I?"

"Oh I don't know, considering the fact she the Alicorn of Love, and we feed on love, making her obsess with us and give us enough love to fight both alicorn sister and the element bearers singlehanded... yeah I say you messed up." The regal Chrysalis snarked.

"Eh I made the same mistake." Another Chrysalis stated, "But I was smart my second time, I replaced them all with my changeling, and dump their bodies in a swamp."

"You uh..." At this Chrysalis gulped "killed them?"

"Of course I did, leaving my captive alive the first time spectacularly failed on me... I spared the alicorns though, raising sun and moon require to much work even for the new mortal queen of the world." The third Chrysalis laughed.

"Right... And umm, what happen to the Chrysalis who failed three times."

"We kick there asses." The regal Chrysalis stated.

"Especially if they used that stupid tree plot, granted it enforce that lie about us being born evil from trees, but those tree clones are supposedly VERY annoying." The third Chrysalis stated.

Session 86.19 Grogar-the-Oneser

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT INVITED!? I AM HER COUSIN!" Discord (Not the ponies and dragon one) snapped.

"Sorry sir, she was quite specific, no Discord's." The guard stated rather bored.

"WHY NOT!?" Discord snapped.

"Besides most discord being reformed by a cowardly pegasus, she finds your stance on Chaos to be childish." The guard stated.

"Well at least my chaos isn't some deranged form of busi-" Discord did a double take. "Is that my ex-wife!?"

"Yes, sir."

"How the devil did she get in!?"

"Eris think your wife is smart for finally dumping that mismatch buffoon." The guard stated.

"... Well that it's she definitely not invited to my next birthday party." Discord grumbled as he poofed away.

Session 86.20 Ardashir

(OOC:Continuing from 86.14)

"Mare-do-Well?" The Mane-iac blinked in confusion. "Never heard of you. What are you supposed to be? Some sort of sidekick of Mistress Mare-velous?" And evil smile went on her face. "Because if so, let's see if you enjoy being tied up like she does!"

"Hah!" Mare-do-Well/Dash dodged aside from a net flying at her. "You'll have to do better if you expect to catch me with that hair net." She flew back to the small thunderstorm and gave it a kick. Water poured down on the telling Mane-iac. "How about a wash before we trim?"

Another kick sent a lighting bolt flying at the Mane-iac's crowning green glory. She whinnied, snatched and hurled Spike into the way with her mane. He lit up like a Hearth's Warming Tree. Mare-do-Well winced.

"Oops! Sorry, Spike -- I mean, Humdrum!"

"It wouldn't be a holiday without me getting humiliated, would it?" The semiconscious Spike groaned.

Within the Friendship Palace Twilight and the rest watched while trying to come up with another plan.

"Ugh, those puns!" Twilight shuddered. "I don't think I've ever heard Modern Ponish be so badly abused! But at least Dash is keeping the Mane-iac busy."

"And at least Starlight and Trixie are keeping the Student Six safe at the theater," Fluttershy looked out another window at the theater, far away from the fight. "Oh, but I hope the movies aren't too scary."

***

In the theater, costumed ponies were laughing at the screen as the dragon horror movie ended. Smolder just huffed in her seat.

"Everydragon was singing and happy and dancing at the end like a bunch of ponies," she groused, arms folded. With a shudder, she added, "An' all the dragons got mind-controlled into giving their hoards away. Ponies got no idea what real horror is!"

***

"Huh," Applejack said as she watched the battle. "Where were those Changelings or Diamond Wolves or whatever the hay they were that were with the Mane-iac? They just up and vanished."

"Actually, they didn't," a familiar-unfamiliar voice softly sneered behind them.

The rest of the Mane Six turned to see -- themselves, standing behind them. But with faces alight with cruelty.

"Oh, wonderful," Rarity groaned. "More of Alisa's tricks? Dear, that is the worst costume of me you ever wore," she pinched a handful of other-Rarity's coat in her magical grip. As her 'twin' spluttered, Rarity said, "It looks like it's about to fall apart, and your acting is so wooden I half expect to see termites crawling on you. I --"

"MINE!" Other-Rarity yelled, leaping on Rarity and snatching at her costume. "Your boutique! Your costume! Your everything! I WANT IT ALL!"

"And we'll get it all," the evil Twilight closed in on Princess Twilight. "This game's over, now we --"

Unnoticed by her, Pinkie Pie tossed a small pie that curved in mid-air and smacked into her twin's face from the side. Grumpy Pie gave a neigh and jumped on the pony nearest her. "HEY! THAT'S NOT FUNNY!"

"Huh! OW! Ya big dummy!" Liarjack scuffled with Pinkie. "Ah didn't do it! An' for once Ah'm tellin' the truth!"

"Like I believe you!"

"Hah!" Fluttercruel cheered. "Kick each other's flanks! Rotten mud ponies --" A misaimed kick by Liarjack missed Grumpy Pie completely to connect solidly with Fluttercruel's jaw. She smashed back into Traitor Dash, at which pony both pegasi leaped into the fight. In another moment the Mean Six were rolling on the floor in a battling ball and calling each other all sort of horrible and perfectly accurate names, with Traitor Sparkle lashing them with a magic-summoned horsewhip. Which did nothing but to make them all angrier than ever.

"Fools!" Evil Twilight yelled as she brought the whip down, bringing meaty smacks and angry neighs from the fighters. "Are you idiots going to ruin everything again?!?"

"Girls? The rest of you help Dash." Princess Twilight shook her head as her confused friends looked away. She kept an eye on the dustball of equine violence happening in the room. "I'll deal with this mess." She cringed as she heard more comments from the battle outside.

"I won't let you stirrup any more trouble, Mane-iac! Your hair-raising is over!"

"Bah! I'll give you the worst split ends of your life -- from head to tail!"

Twilight just shook her head. "Maybe someday I'll have a normal day in this town?"

Session 86.21 Mtangalion

Princess Twilight Sparkle was just about to take a relaxing sip of tea and enjoy herself doing the school’s morning paperwork, when a certain elderly and balding griffon barged into her office.

“This is an outrage!” squawked Grampa Gruff, waving a GameColt game crystal at her. “Some pony made a video game thing in which a griffon, a diamond dog, and one of those Aba-whatever cat people grow huge and stomp all over pony cities! It’s perpetuating stereotypes, that’s what it is!”

Twilight put down the tea, carefully. “And, you’re coming to me with this, because…”

Grampa Gruff folded his wings and forelimbs crossly. “Video games are new-fangled, so I don’t like them just on general principle! Also, you’re the Princess of Gaming. Says so right on your door.”

Twilight leaned past Gruff, taking a look for herself. “I didn’t hang that sign there…”

Just around the corner, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie giggled.

Then three students showed up, looking over Grampa Gruff’s shoulders, then slipping into the office beside him. One of the new Abyssinian students shrugged, paws in his coat pockets. “Huh. Truly, I am not sure how to feel about this. It’s depicting predators as monsters, true…”

Scruff the diamond dog pup wagged his tail. “But predators are biggest and strongest and doing whatever they want, just like they should!”

Gallus smirked, smacking his fisted claws into a palm. “That would be super awesome! If it wasn’t just a game...”

Twilight’s face twitched. “I’m starting to regret that open door policy.”

While the students debated this, Discord quietly teleported in beside Twilight, leering and raising his fingers to snap…

Without missing a beat, Twilight said, “Oh gosh, I wonder what will happen next? Will Discord turn the students into real giants, because they didn’t expect that? That’s what I’d expect!”

Discord fell over, then got up again, dusting himself off. “One of these days,” he snapped, shaking a claw at Twilight, “I’ll do exactly what ponies expect, because they didn’t expect me to do the thing they did expect me to do! But not today.”

Discord summoned another GameColt game box and floated it over to the students. “Hey kids, look what old Discord just happened to have lying around. A game where a unicorn, a pegasus, and an earth pony grow into giants and rampage all across Equus, forcing everycreature to be friends just like ponies!”

Gallus shuddered. “That… that’s so scary…”

Scruff shook himself too. “It might be best Nightmare Night game ever! Let’s try it out!”

Meanwhile, near Mount Aris, the latest argument between the seaponies and the merponies was interrupted when two colossal sea-green hooves stomped into the ocean shallows with tsunami-making force. “Come on, guys,” declared Sandbar, big as the mountain, with hypnotic swirls in his eyes. “The ocean is like… the ocean! As in plenty of room for everycreature! You should share… that’d be the Generous thing to do!”

Session 86.22 Grogar-the-Oneser

"Huh, that one of my students friends." Novo muttered.

"Must be discord doing." Leo stated.

"At least they stop arguing and working together." Novo said.

"True true." King Leo stated as both seaponies and Merponies working together to take down the giants "How much do you wanna bet they start arguing again when this is over."

"I give it a week and a half." Novo muttered.

"I give it three." Leo stated.

Session 86.23 Alex Warlorn

Rainbow Dash in WoH sighed. "Okay, so the first part of the quest was finding a treasure map with a pirate captain, and that's always cool. Then we got stuck with a stupid fetch quest to get all the ingredients for a water breathing potion... and we get to talk to the sea ponies and mere ponies who can't stand each other... AND NOW WE GOTTA FIGHT AN ARMY OF SIRENS?! Who I reminds you were BOSSES of another quest?"

"At least we got plenty of real life experience of this," Pinkie Pie said.

"And they're not even the real final boss of this quest remember," REAL_Princess said.

Session 86.24 Alex Warlorn

"GRRRR! CURSE YOU MARE-DO-WELL! None will stand in the way of the Maniac! You will... wha-what's going on?!" The Mane-iac looked herself confused as she faded away into nothing. "What are you doing?! Don't you know who I am? I'm the Mane-iac! I'm the Mane-" And the dissolved into nothing.

"See girls?" Twilight Sparkle said. "She was just a overpowered illusion spell running with its programming, there was no way for it sustain substance in the real world outside the enchanted comics... She should have faded away a lot sooner."

Rainbow Dash said, "Maybe she was stealing magic from the tree of harmony since the castle was made with a connection it?"

"THE EVIL MURDER TREE?!" The clones stopped fighting each other. "This place is part of the evil murder tree!?" Grumpy Pie exclaimed.

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" And the clones ran out the front door screaming in terror.

Session 86.25 Grogar-the-Oneser

Everyone looked at Pinkie.

"Don't look at me, I don't get the magic murder tree reference." Pinkie stated.

"Maybe they thought the tree was alive somehow?" Rarity questioned.

'Oh please, it may be advance, but alive, that pushing it." Twilight snorted. suddenly part of the ceiling broke and hit Twilight on the head "OW!... this proves nothing."

Session 86.26 Jarkes

*Back at the decrepit mansion*

"Well, that's all taken care of. Now what?" Evil Twilight said.

"Well, we never did play that one game we found..." Evil Pinkie replied, holding up the FATAL board game.

"You know what? This has all been really weird even for us, so I need to unwind. Let's play," Evil Twilight said.

*five minutes later*

Evil Pinkie was roasting marshmallows in the fire that the remains of the FATAL board game were being used to fuel. "I HATE this," she muttered.

Fluttercruel shuddered. "That... thing... was too cruel and evil and horrible even for me."

"I didn't see anything wrong with it," Liarjack said, eyes shifting as usual.

Session 86.27 Ardashir

Even as Nightmare Night lunacy unfolded in Ponyville, it happened elsewhere in Equestria. In yet another small town, bordering both the dragon lands and Griffonstone, a pony "disguised" as Queen Chrysalis stood before the home her extended family was currently staying in.

"Yes, I do think my Nightmare Night decorations were inspired," she preened. She looked at the pathway to her house, lined with wooden posts topped with alternating pony, dragon, and griffon skulls.

"Oh, yes!" The mare with her costumed foals said. "Those skulls look almost real!"

Chrysalis laughed.

"Given how much of a fight their former owners put up to keep them, they should!"

The mare blinked, looking uneasy for a second. Then with a laugh she walked off with her foals. Chrysalis just looked back at her home. Changelings in perfect black and green chitin were flying around and crawling on it. Aside from the skulls, nooses swung from the windows. From one dangled a dummy made to look like Starlight Glimmer. Ponies laughed to see it and walked on.

Chrysalis laughed in something like actual joy. "Now why can't I decorate like this every night of the year?"

Session 86.28 Ardashir

"So, Twilight, who did win the Equestrian National Lottery?" Spike walked into Twilight's gaming, er, throne room. He held up a copy of the Canterlot Sun with a pony-shaped outline under the title, 'Who's the lucky pony?' "Even the newspapers don't know. All they know is that they live in Ponyville!"

"I don't know," Twilight said, eating her morning bowl of oatmeal. She looked out the window. "I can guess which ponies and others didn't win, though." Spike joined her to see a sobbing Garble using his fire breath to incinerate a pile of tickets as big as he was. Nearby Trixie, her eyes blazing, was individually ripping up each and every single ticket from the pile of over a hundred sitting beside her. "Not to mention who spent all their savings on those silly things. Ugh! Honestly!" Twilight turned away shaking her head. "Why does anypony play that game? It's a tax on the mathematically illiterate!"

Before Spike could say anything, Pinkie Pie bounced into the room. "Hi, Twi! Hi, Spike!" She noticed the newspaper, and turned her head upside down to read the numbers. "5-28-62-65-70? Gee, I wonder who found my ticket?"

"Very funny, Pinkie," Twilight rolled her eyes.

"It's not a joke, silly filly," Pinkie said, sounding indignant. "I bought one of those tickets. But I was looking at it yesterday when I was making a big order of muffins," as she spoke the eyes of Twilight and Spike both grew ever wider, "and I dropped it into the batter. I guess it's in one of the muffins now."

Spike choked. "And that doesn't bother you?"

Pinkie looked thoughtful and shook her head. She failed to notice that as she spoke a purple alicorn and dragon were edging towards the door. "Nawww. I mean, I have my friends and a job I love and the Cakes and Maud and Gummy, so what do I need all those bits for? I'd just give it all away, and hee, I guess I did didn't I?"

A moment later the room was empty. "Uh, Twi? Spike?"

Several minutes later she hopped back over to Sugarcube Corner to find the place doing the best business it'd done in years. Mr. and Mrs. Cake were smiling as they rang up sale after sale.

"I'll buy two dozen muffins! No, three!"

"Save some for the rest of us, ya greedy nag!"

A smiling Pinkie went into the kitchen and started mixing up some more batter. She smiled even wider to see Pumpkin and Pound looking at her from the crib in the next room.

She hopped over and hugged the two adorable little foals. "See? I told you to trust your Auntie Pinkie; you'll both be able to afford college now! And I hope whoever finds the ticket isn't too angry that I didn't say it was the winning one!"

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?
What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 86.0 Kendell2
Session 86.1 Ardashir
Session 86.2 Ardashir
Session 86.3 Kendell2
Session 86.4 Mtangalion
Session 86.5 Ardashir
Session 86.6 Alex Warlorn
Session 86.7 Kendell2
Session 86.8 Alex Warlorn and Kendell2
Session 86.9 Mtangalion
Session 86.10 Alex Warlorn
Session 86.11 Kendell2
Session 86.12 Ardashir
Session 86.13 Ardashir
Session 86.14 Mtangalion
Session 86.15 Alex Warlorn
Session 86.16 whitebearboy
Session 86.17 Grogar-the-Oneser
Session 86.18 Grogar-the-Oneser
Session 86.19 Grogar-the-Oneser
Session 86.20 Ardashir
Session 86.21 Mtangalion
Session 86.22 Grogar-the-Oneser
Session 86.23 Alex Warlorn
Session 86.24 Alex Warlorn
Session 86.25 Grogar-the-Oneser
Session 86.26 Jarkes
Session 86.27 Ardashir
Session 86.28 Ardashir

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Picture by brother-lionheart used with permission.
https://www.deviantart.com/brother-lionheart/art/Poniest-dungeon-no-text-763418380

Session 87

Session 87.0 Mtangalion

The latest informal Princess Summit began in the Friendship Castle’s dining hall, when Princess Celestia took a long, relaxing sip of her tea, then gently set the cup down. “Twilight, while I’m pleased that the Cozy Glow incident has been successfully resolved, with the exception of finding out whatever became of that misguided filly’s parents, I must say, I’m puzzled that you didn’t make better use of your Twilight Guard and castle staff during the crisis.”

Some of Twilight’s tea nearly went down the wrong way. “My what, now?”

“You could have sent your guards to investigate Tartarus in your stead,” continued Celestia. “Alternately, you might have dispatched them to keep order at your gaming academy while you were away.”

“Wait, wait, wait…” said Twilight, her teacup sloshing as she put it down. “I don’t have…”

“But you do, your highness!” a stallion’s voice proudly proclaimed, right behind her.

Twilight spun about and realized for the first time that there were two guard stallions standing at attention behind her, just as there were two Solar, two Lunar, and two Crystal Guards in the room. The “Twilight Guards” wore dark purple barding stamped with her cutie mark, and carried bright silver lances.

Twilight groaned. “I *don’t* have a Twilight Guard. I have these weird stallions who camp out in my castle and won’t go away.”

The second Twilight Guard saluted smartly. “We fully understand your current desire for simplicity and modesty, Princess! We of the Twilight Guard are as silent and ephemeral as the twilight itself, seen only when we’re meant to be seen!”

Tempest Shadow smirked, rolling her eyes. “I still say I should be your Twilight Guard Captain. I’ll train them to kick flank and take names for you, Princess.”

Spike kicked back, resting his feet on the table. “I’m surprised you didn’t notice the staff before, Twi.” He snapped his claws, and four maid ponies trotted in and bowed low. “I mean, did you think this whole castle was cleaning itself by magic while you were busy with the school? Or that I was doing it all, before I had wings?”

Twilight blushed. “Well, actually…”

A tan earth pony mare in an old-fashioned vest stepped forward. “Chief Strategist Smart Cookie the Thirty-Third reporting for duty, your Highness! I have the up-to-date balances of your personal and Friendship Gaming Academy accounts, and the three year budget and investment plans at your convenience! Oh, and Master Spike? Again, my deepest gratitude to you for hiring me, and my next move in our chess game is Castle to Prince Five.”

“Yeah, Spike knows how to pick ‘em, alright,” said Garble, wearing… a bathrobe? He turned and bellowed, “Hey, are you ready for my scale buffing and claw filing yet?”

A unicorn leaned into the room, wearing a blacksmith’s apron and levitating a welding mask and magical blowtorch. “Almost ready, Ambassador Garble!”

Cadence smiled. "We were happy to suggest some names and go through the resumes with Spike..."

Trixie whistled at the Twilight Guards, glancing to Rarity. “Yes! Big handsome strapping stallions! Trixie votes we keep them!”

Rarity swished her tail, sharing a grin with Starlight. "So do I, darling!"

"Neither of you get a vote in this!" shouted Twilight.

“Twily, relax,” said Shining Armor. “I got used to being royalty… you will too.”

Twilight took several deep breaths. “Okay… *maybe* a staff is a good idea, but when have my friends and I ever needed our own guard?”

Princess Luna cleared her throat. "Starlight Glimmer, Chrysalis' foalnap squad, that angry Friendship Journal mob, Starlight Glimmer, Cozy Glow just now..."

Spike raised a claw. “Um, you said Starlight twice."

"She's a repeat offender."

“Hey!” protested Starlight.

Session 87.1 SomeRandomMinion

(Continuing from 85.22)

"Wow, Cozy really got them going," Gallus mused as he prowled a forum. "There's a ton of humans getting their feathers ruffled, whining for an evil option. Geeze, what is up with these people? Tirek isn't even that cool!"

====

Down in Tartarus, Tirek sneezed.

"Bless you," Cozy offered, hoofing him a napkin.

====

Twilight couldn't suppress a smirk. "Really? Surprised they didn't learn their lesson after last time. Wonder how the devs will smack them down this time...?" She chuckled, a little sinisterly.
...And noticed the worried looks her students were giving her. "The people who made the game added in a 'villain path' a while back, but it didn't end well for the players who became evil. I'll tell you all the details later, but let's just say they had a bad time."

"Well whatever happened, it serves them right," Smolder added. "Hope they add Cozy to the game, so everyone can fight her. I still say she got off easy."

"She's imprisoned in Tartarus, maybe forever, with no visitors; in a really small cage...and you think she got off easy?" Sandbar asked, eyes wide. "She's not exactly in time-out down there..."

Smolder shrugged. "To dragons, anything short of getting scorched, stomped or eaten--or all three--IS getting off easy. I still say we should have given her to Torch, by the way. He'd teach her a lesson for sure!" She stomped and ground her foot on the floor to show what kind of 'lesson' the huge dragon would teach the sociopathic filly.

"Or she'd trick him into rampaging across Equestria with that 'innocent cute face' trick of hers," Gallus deadpanned, laughing when Smolder stuck out her tongue. "Huh, they're asking where 'Empress' went. Headmare Twilight, you wanna break the news? I want to see how these wannabe villains take it when you say Cozy got a 'Game Over', for good."

Twilight shook her head. "Gallus, making fun of people is wrong, even when they're wrong. Or defend somepony who committed high treason. Or...think being evil is something to admire--" She broke off, eyes going wide. She remembered everything Cozy had put her through; put Equestria through...

A smirk came to her face. "Well. Maybe just this once."

She took a seat before the keyboard, and telekinetically typed out a post:

The 'Empress of Friendship' wouldn't be logging in again. Ever. In fact, she wouldn't get anywhere near a computer for the rest of her life.
Also, wanting to join Tirek was a silly idea.

With the click of a mouse, she posted her thoughts.
And then the whining and moaning started from Cozy's supporters.

Ten were banned from Horsecraft for life within five minutes.

Twilight and her students simply laughed and enjoyed the Schadenfreude.

Session 87.3 Alex Warlorn

Cozy Glow asked, "Hey, pen-pal, can I borrow that computer Pinkie Pie gave you to play World of Hosecraft on?"

Tirek shrugged. "I haven't played it in forever, so sure."

=

Spike asked, "Twilight, when is the last time you PLAYED World of Horsecraft? I mean, they released that HUUUUUUGE expansion pack you MADE A PERSONAL APPEARANCE FOR in the human world... and it's like no pony, or human, is actually playing it! Wouldn't that discourage Crystalsoft? And make them think they don't have enough player agency in the game, and thus decide to go with a villain faction that's closer to the Legion of Gloom from Power Ponies more than Playe from UnderStory?"

Twilight looked at Spike, and said nothing, little alarm bells and little gears turning in her head.

"Well... I have been very busy..."

"Not since Cozy Glow, we got our six month break between all the insanity that happens in our lives..."

"Well, okay... but... Uh, I BETTER LOG IN!"

Session 87.4 Alex Warlorn

Twilight was playing yet another Enchanted Comic, this time with her friends, Spike, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie.

This time they were playing Legends of Grimstone. Convicted of unknown crimes, (they players were meant to fill in the details), the heroes were dumped into a hole at the top of a huge mountain, being 'pardoned' as they're tossed in, with the pretense of trying to escape through the bottom, which no one had done.

Fighting through hordes of monsters, puzzles, traps, level by level, it became obvious that the dungeon had existed long before the King had used it as a dumping ground, and in fact they may have been sentenced here in the hope of discovering whatever 'treasure' lay at the bottom.

They also began to have shared dreams where a voice was speaking to them, telling them it could trust them, and they weren't criminals 'like the others' and how 'they' had twisted the dungeon from the purpose 'his people' had built it.

When they got to the lower layers, the dungeon was made of metal and bolted rather than carved stone. The voice now speaking to them when awake, told them that 'they' had destroyed 'the mechanism' and if they were able to repair it, the 'portal' would enable them all to escape.

The party found the pieces, and put them into the machine at the center of the last level... only for the machine (a big cube) to come to life, reveal it had been the voice, and that "your only freedom is death!" The party fled from the invincible machine, only to find the tomb of the designers which told of how if the cube was set free it would destroy the world and Grimstone was a prison exclusively for it. They'd figured out the last puzzle and gotten the weapon to paralyze the cube and take the parts they themselves had put in to make it vulnerable to attack.

Then Twilight Sparkle had to open her big fat mouth. "Why do you want to kill us?"

"Huh?" Said the Cube as it continued to roll around trying to crush them.

"You heard me. How does killing us profit you in any way? There is obviously a way out of here, or was your plan to just roll around this floor for eternity? And how exactly are you a threat to everything that lives? I mean, the next wall or cliff you come across out of here, and you'll be stuck. If you could levitate you wouldn't go AROUND those pits when trying to kill us, which again, you really don't have any motive to do. The four of us could have been your allies, your companions, get more people on your side, trick everypony into building a robot army for you since I assume you know enough about your own mechanics to tell us how to repair you. So after we freed you, why do you just stuck around here? Or you waiting for us to come back eventually so you can kill us? Why? Why turn on us? You did a brilliant job of getting us to repair you, but everything after that just feels like giving us an excuse to destroy you."

And the enchanted comic crashed, and the three ponies and one dragon were spat out and the comic vanished.

"TWILIGHT!!" All three of her friends gave her the stink eye.

"What?! Those plot holes were just too glaring! It's not my fault the writers of these enchanted comics never think their big twists through!"

"How many enchanted comics does this make now?!" Rainbow Dash huffed. "We go through all the trouble of setting the time aside, getting into character, reading up on the rules, and BANG you make us lose our deposit!"

"It's like ever since you discovered enchanted comics, AND that YK Darling was secretly Daring Do, you can't suspend your disbelief for them!"

"I hate to say they're right Twilight, but they're right," Pinkie Pie said.

"So I should just give clumsy written stories a pass?" Twilight said defiantly. "If the writers are going to include a twist they should make sure it ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE!"

"Quibble Pants isn't as bad you!" Rainbow exclaimed.

"Who?"

"Oh right, you guys weren't there for that adventure."

"Does Soarin' have somepony to be jealous of?" Pinkie Pie grinned.

"Agh! I don't think I can even DATE Soarin', he outranks me as a Bolt! And Quibble Pants and me are just friends IN SPITE of our differences. It's like the difference between Lyra and Bon Bon verses Octavia and Vinyl!"

"So is Soarin' the 'Lyra and Bon Bon' then?" Pinkie Pie asked.

Rainbow blushed. "We're getting off topic! The point is Twilight, this isn't the first time, or the second, or the third! This has got to stop!"

"Well SORRY that I don't want to turn off my upper brain functions to enjoy something. Am I supposed to just ignore these plot holes? Like when we played Elderly Scrolls and we arrived in the spirit world of the Mythical Dusk cultists?"

"Oh! What horrible horrible horrible fools we were to join this cult! Now we are tortured by demons forever!" Wailed the soul of a cultists in a perfectly beautiful wooded area with some beaches and some houses.

And the first thing Twilight asked the cult leader when they're broken into his mansion in the customized spirit realm was,

"Why are you having demons torture the souls of your own cultists? I mean, you explicitly created this spiritual realm for them and yourself. Do you PAY the demons in sadistic pleasure in torturing them, and they're going to serve as your real army? Since you're going to open a permanent gate between the living and spirit world, wouldn't make more sense to keep them on your side after they die? They were so fanatically loyal to you before you betray them after their deaths, they likely wouldn't have minded being your servant class for eternity if you wanted to live forever in luxury. It feels like it serves no purpose what-so-ever other than us to see you as even more evil, which kinda redundant since we've already seen how evil you are. Or to make sure we positively. absolutely, know which side is the bad guy in an otherwise complex in-depth historic and political world."

And out of the crashing comic they now.

"Now you really do sound like Quibble Pants." Rainbow Dash said.

Spike meanwhile, had an idea, wrote a message, and dragon-mailed it.

-

'Spike, I have more things to do with my time than have a reader, even if it's Princess Twilight Sparkle, get over her trouble suspending her disbelief.' Daring Do wrote back as she avoided the poison darts and having to claim another indestructible artifact from yet another greedy villain.

'Pllleeeeeaassse! It's getting unbearable! I want you to... to tell Twilight the things you edited in your stories.' Was Spike reply.

Tied up for the millionth time (she really needed more escape artist classes, again), Daring Do replied, 'You're asking me to break the veil, even my readers who know about my double-life don't know about the revisions I make.' She wrote back with her mouth.

'Come on! Twilight WAS ON the adventure where you created an expy of Rainbow Dash!'

'So what makes you think me revealing other changes I made due to demands of my editors or to keep it all kid friendly would be different?' She wrote with one wing and sword fought with the other.

'Just trying it, PLEASE? We can't take this anymore! You're our only hope!'

'Fine! Just let me get back from the center of Equus and I'll be right over!'

(Anyone feel free to continue.)

Session 87.5 Alex Warlorn

Sci-Twi exasperated to her pet, "Spike for the last time! I am not going out of my way to grant sapience to anymore dogs! Keeping track of you and Ember trouble is enough as is!"

"But Smolder is a really nice puppy!"

"And I said NO! Right now I'm trying to figure out why Winona is a dog incapable of speech in BOTH WORLDS, while you have been granted speech and sapience by Equestrian magic, when her Equestrian counterpart has spent their entire life in the stuff. And shouldn't she be a dragon? This is a disturbing inconsistency."

"Well, pony princess you doesn't have glasses."

"... I always assumed she wore contacts..."

Session 87.6 Mtangalion

Just then, a familiar beat-up pickup drove past, pulling into the dog park's parking lot. Spike's ears instantly perked up. "Woohoo! Gilda's here with Ember! Honestly Twi, you worry too much."

Twilight sighed. "I suppose... Wait, is that what I think it is?"

"Well, well, if it isn't Spike!" barked a mocking voice.

Spike yelped, freezing in place. "That scent!" He spun around. "G-Garble!?"

The larger red dog advanced on the purple pup. "I've got just one thing to say to you, runt..."

Spike gulped, whimpering a bit.

And then Garble stuck his tongue out, razzing Spike. "Hah! You and your humans thought you stopped me, but I still got the voice of the masters!" He glanced aside at Gilda, snorting. "Dunno why I even wanted it, though. Ugh, why do there have to be so many rules!? Don't poop here, don't shed there..."

"Hey, Spike!" said Ember, trotting over to Spike and Garble. "There's a lot of dogs here today! That means a lot of butts to sniff!"

"I know, right?" said Spike and Garble simultaneously. Each of them blinked at the other in surprise, then turned away in a huff.

Twilight was still gawking. "How... when?"

Gilda wandered over to Twilight, patting her pockets as if looking for a cigarette pack, then gave up grumpily. "What, didn't Sunset shoot you a text or something?" She smirked, hands in pockets. "Heh, I thought you were a total dweeb, but I changed my mind. You must be a real trooper if you can put up with even one talking dog."

Twilight yanked on her increasingly frazzled hair. "Could this possibly make any less sense?!"

Back in Equestria, Smolder the Dragon poked the mirror portal with a claw, then jumped back from the shimmering rainbow colors.

Garble the Dragon grinned toothily. "Go on, it'll be fine. I mean, me, Spike, and Ember have been in there already, but if you're scared..."

Session 87.7 Alex Warlorn

Vice President of Crystalsoft, Chrysalis, sighed. "Mr. Sombra, we have to face facts. We just aren't drawing in the numbers like we used to. In spite of what bad to be our biggest expansion ever, people just aren't playing the game as much. Nor as they as invested. Profits are down this year. Along with our other smaller game projects. I hate to say it, but we might soon have to close shop."

Canterlot High student Rainbow Dash, captain of every sports team of the school (and infamous for struggling with her grades, and her sport scholarship was the only way she was ever getting into collage), was sitting in her room at her computer.

"Oh man I'm so excited! Power Ponies Online's first day! And I bought a premium pass and everything! This is gonna be so cool! Should I play a hero or a villain? Heh, well, we're gonna need an arch nemesis, so I bight as well be me! If I don't like it I can just play the quest that lets you switch sides... Here we go!"

Rainbow Dash, or rather, The_Dashing__Rainbow, materialized into Maretropolis, ready to visit the Power Tower, or the Stable of Doom to begin the initiation hero or villain quest... there was just one problem.

"Heelllllooooo.... is there anybody heeeeeeeere? Come on it's opening day! There should be tons of people here! I can't be the only player here right? Hellllooooooo!" The_Dashing__Rainbow zipped around, but besides some humble NPCs ... there were no other players to be found. It was opening day, and the game world was empty.

Session 87.8 Ardashir

"Dash!" Applejack waved to the pegasus as she flew into the room. She and the rest of the Mane Six save only Princess Twilight sat around the table of the tree, with deice and figurines at hoof. "'Bout time ya got here -- wait, is that a newspaper you're holdin'?"

"Yeah," Rainbow Dash said as she dropped down, bearing that days copy of the Canterlot Sun. "You guys see this?" She showed the front page story off to her friends.

"Oooh, look! It's a picture of Spike and Grubber and Garble from that time they joined that dice tournament last year and almost got murdered by Flim and Flam's legbreakers. What?" Pinkie Pie looked at the others. "Uh, touchy subject?"

Somepony cleared their throat behind her. Pinkie Pie turned and smiled to see Twilight and Spike standing there. "Hi Twi! Hi Spike! We were just talking about the time Spike almost won a fortune in Los Pegasus doing those things you told him to never ever do!"

"Gee, thanks Pinkie," the little dragon groused. Pinkie just smiled and hopped back to her chair as Twilight took the paper. Spike took a look at it. "Didn't the Sun used to be a little more intellectual?"

"It's not what you think, Spike," Twilight said as she read. "They're just discussing some of the big news stories from the past year." She showed it to her friends. Besides Spike, Grubber, and Garble being throttled by minotaur and Yeti casino security, there were photos of Cozy's attempted takeover and several monster attacks along with some of Discord's pranks. "Wait, Discord exchanged the minds of the Yaks and Griffons for a day, then gave it up when no one noticed any difference?"

"I'm just surprised our dear Spikey-wikey and the others made that list," Rarity gave the little dragon a hug. "How important are dice tournaments?"

"An' what trouble will it cause?" Dash looked at her friends.

"Please, Dash!" Twilight snorted. "How much trouble can a story about Spike's never to be repeated error in shooting craps cause trouble?"

At that moment there came a knock at the door. The ponies froze. Spike, who stood nearest, looked at it, gulped, and opened them.

"Not you!"

"My boy!" Sludge strolled in. He picked Spike up and hugged him. "My hatchling! My flesh and blood! My little craps expert!"

"AHHH!" Spike yelled and wriggled out of Sludge's embrace. "Why are you here? You're not my father! And I never wanted to see you again, you fraud!"

Sludge just smirked and waved a paper.

"Actually, turns out I am your dad," he said. "I figured it out when I saw the story in the paper; I was pretty hot with dice when I was a hatchling myself. and years ago I had this fling with a gorgeous female dragon." Sludge's eyes seemed to film over as he said, drooling, "You should have seen the size of the rocks in her hoard. Emeralds and rubies as big as a pony's head!"

"Charming," Twilight said coldly as she flew over. "Now why are you here?"

"As I was saying," Sludge sniffed, "after the fling, that dragoness told me she was gonna lay an egg. I told her she should go inta the stage, everyone lays an egg there, ha-ha!" He looked around, sporting a big grin. Not even Pinkie Pie smiled. He slumped, "Anyhow, she told me that since I was no darn good -- some dames have such ridiculous high standards -- she was gonna give her egg ta ponies ta raise. I didn't care then, but since I read in the paper how my boy's a genius with the bones," he tossed a pair of dice before offering them to Spike, who glanced at a furious Twilight before stepping back, "I decided ta repair all them burned bridges and take my kid out for some father-son bonding stuff. Ya know, travel Equestria and see the great historical sites. Manehattan, Canterlot, Las Pegasus..."

"Hold it!" Twilight put herself between Spike and Sludge. "Spike is my responsibility. That means he isn't going anywhere unless I approve of it. And he's not going anywhere with some, some..."

"Lazy, fat, slovenly, lying dragon?" Pinkie helpfully suggested.

"Lying, am I?" Sludge smirked and waved the paper he held under Twilight's nose. Her ears drooped as she read it. Meanwhile Sludge said, "That paper says I'm Spike's legal father, an' now he's my stooge -- I mean responsibility. Now that Equestria is friendly with dragons, it's amazing what the pony government will do ta stay on our good side. Especially when it's for a dragon related to Torch." He strutted as the ponies and Spike stared in disbelief. Sludge tossed the dice from claw to claw. "Of course, if you want ta challenge me to a game to prove he's my kid, I'm ready for that too."

Twilight and her friends looked furious, but Spike stepped out around the princess and looked Sludge in the face. "What's the challenge?"

"We shoot the dice," Sludge said. "I bet my pro-piet, my pro-poo, ah!" He waved his arms. "My right ta take ya wherever I want in exchange for, oh, say," he looked around, broke off a piece of the crystal wall and messily ate it. "This castle! So whadda ya say, Princess," Sludge grinned evilly into her face.

"You game or not?"

Session 87.9 Kendell2

Twilight looked to Sludge. "You think I'd bet Spike AND a castle with a vital to Equestrian security object inside it on a game of dice? I think you're underestimating me..."

Sludge rolled his eyes. "How so?"

"Well for starters, legally speaking..."

Pinkie Pie slowly rose up next to her with a slide whistle sound effect. "Can we do the thing?"

Twilight sighed. "Pinkie..."

"Please?! Discord has wanted to do THAT ever sense we started resolving legal things with games!"

"...Fine..."

Discord suddenly appeared with a smirk. "Then court is now in session! MWHAHAHA!"

"Wait what-"

Discord suddenly snapped his fingers and a flash of light surrounded everything.

= Trial - Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney =

Sludge blinked, finding himself sitting in a court room in the defendant's seat. "What the...AH!" he yelled, noticing his voice not working and instead being in a dialog box in front of him with each word emitting a beep as it went by. "What's going on?!" he asked, then noticed everything was in pixels.

"Silence in the court!" called Discord (his dialog appearing with random noises and initially in Wing Ding font until he realized no one could understand that and thus wouldn't pay attention to him and changed it to the most garish available font), sitting in the judge's chair with a powdered wig made of candy canes. A second Discord in a bailiff's outfit standing by the chair cleared is throat.

"All rise for the honorable Judge Discord!"

"Thank you, Discord!"

"You're quite welcome, Discord."

"Now, will the defendant...or prosecution...the overweight annoying dragon to the left please present his evidence for why he has custody of Spike?"

Sludge blinked, trying to find everything he'd brought floating in an Evidence Window in front of him. He pushed on the square with the paper he'd brought with him, which caused a description to pop up which he confirmed after fiddling around with things in confusion.

Discord looked at it floating in a box next to his head. "And what is this?"

"It's confirmation I'm Spike's legal father, which means I can take him anywh-"

"Objection!" said Twilight, sitting nearby.

Discord looked at her expectantly. "We only accept one method of objection in this court."

Twilight sighed.

= Objection! - Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney =

"OBJECTION!"

Sludge jumped as the word appeared in huge bold red letters in mid air and nearly fell out of his chair and was actually audible.

"While this document does state Sludge is Spike's legal father, it does not state who he has SOLE custody! It doesn't regard who the other parent is at all!" Twilight announced, dramatically, and ending by slamming her hooves on the table.

Sludge blinked. "Well...uh...His mother said..."

"OBJECTION!...Again."

Twilight pointed dramatically. "Sludge outright said minutes ago that Spike's mother 'gave her egg to ponies to raise'! And therefore, she waved legal right to Spike! As by dragon law, and I quote, 'no take backs!' Under Equestrian laws, Spike is considered either an orphan, a child found without parents known, or abandoned under safe haven laws, which means that by doing so she released her child for adoption with Sludge confirming she knowingly did so. Therefore, Spike's mother is no longer his legal mother!"

Sludge tried to follow. "I...didn't know that..."

"Which means Spike's legal mother is officially..." Twilight paused, selecting evidence, causing adoption papers to appear next to Discord's head, then legal guardianship papers besides it. "Princess Celestia by virtue of me being too young to sign legal documents at the time, with me as government approved legal guardian..."

"But for all intents and purposes, yeah, she's his mom," Rainbow Dash stated bluntly from the seats, causing Twilight's model to get a very noticable blush.

Sludge's confusion over this somehow resulted in his 'model' detailing the appropriate details more thoroughly.

"So even if Sludge is Spike's legal father, he shares custody with me and/or Celestia!" Twilight announced.

"The judge finds in favor of the defendant...prosecutor...the nerdy Alicorn!" Discord announced, everything suddenly becoming the image of a rubber chicken being used as a gavel slamming down before things were back to normal, Sludge looking around in complete bewilderment.

Sludge finally glared at Discord. "I don't think you're a judge..."

Discord gave a laugh. "As officially a judge as you are a parent, even got my documents in the same place...I made myself judge for during my reign for giggles..."

"And even if Discord isn't a judge, CELESTIA is, being a monarch and all, and she'd feel the same way," Twilight said with a glare. "Which means I'm as much Spike's parent as you are! Oh, and by the way: I'm on CURRENT Dragon Lord EMBER'S good side! So HA!"

Spike looked to Sludge. "You tried to pull a fast one on one of the smartest ponies in the world."

OOC: I admit, due to real life things, I'm personally ticked off at Sludge for this stunt.

Session 87.10 Jarkes

Discord was checking the status on Power Ponies Online when he noticed something odd... "That's strange..." He mused. "It seems the release date for this was mistakenly set for a month from now, and that's what was sent to most of our customers except for a few of them... No wonder we haven't gotten much... Well, I'll just send out a correction e-mail..." He typed out a correction and clicked "Send to All Customers."

*the next day*

Rainbow Dash logged into Power Ponies Online again, hoping that more people would be showing up. Much to her delight, this time around, the server was PACKED with tons of players.

She grinned. "Now THAT'S more like it!"

Chrysalis called up Sombra. "I don't know what happened, but suddenly in just one day our profits went up nearly 700% from how they were yesterday! We're back in business!"

"Yes, Discord was just telling me that mistakes had been made somewhere down the line," Sombra replied, smiling. "We'd best make sure something like that doesn't happen again."

Session 87.11 Ardashir

"How did it happen, anyway?" Chrysalis voice contained nothing but confusion, a rarity for her. "I told Thorax and Pharynx and the rest of my staff to make sure of the date."

"Someone put the wrong date down, and I'm about to find out who." The smile faded from Sombra's face as he turned to look at the slowly opening door to his office. In a voice like some fantasy Dark Lord inviting his failed servants to their doom, he said, "Come in, gentlemen."

"Uh, s-sure, boss," said the first, a grossly obese balding man wearing a Hawaiian shirt so loud it must have violated local noise ordinances. He smiled, showing a set of awful teeth. Sombra forced himself not to flinch. "Eh, is this about that teensy-weensy little mistake about the release date for the latest game?"

"However did you guess, Mister Sludge?" Sombra asked in a chilly voice.

"I'm sure I gave everyone the correct date," Zephyr Breeze said, looking even more worried than his supervisor Sludge. "The fifth of December..." He gave a yelp as Sludge gave him a dope slap.

"It was the fifth of this month, ya dope!" He jumped and yelled as Zephyr displayed exceptional nerve by turning and stomping on his foot. As Sludge hopped and swore, clutching his injured foot, Zephyr quickly said, "You told me it was next month!"

"Enough!" They froze. Sombra stood up and stalked around the desk. As he slowly smiled, Sludge and Zephyr both began to shiver. "Gentlemen, I am most upset. However, since my wife recently had our first child, I am feeling exceptionally merciful. So you will NOT be losing your jobs." As they began to smile in relief, he said, "Report to Miss Chrysalis. I'm sure she will find some job more suited to your total lack of talents."

Sombra smiled as Sludge and Zephyr left the room, only to begin arguing with each other again.

***

Meanwhile, back beyond the mirror:

"What! You mean we have to put up with Sludge, now? Why won't Ember take him back?" Starlight stomped her hoof. Twilight winced as the angry mare said, "That miserable fat slob tossed me out a window -- right in the middle of my bath!"

"Ember says he's a disgrace to dragonkind, and if he went back they'd punish him in some horrible fashion," Twilight said, walking towards one of the classrooms. "She said he might learn something about how to behave better here. I have to agree. We managed to get through to Discord, after all."

Starlight's eyes went wide. She froze as they reached the door to the classroom. "You cannot be serious. HIM? Studying friendship? HERE?!?"

"Oh, come on," Twilight said. "We know his tricks now. Garble's gotten better, and he wanted to rob and kill ponies at one time. How much trouble can one overweight lazy slob of a dragon be?"

"Come on, Little Joe!" Twilight and Starlight froze as the door opened. "Sludgey needs a new pair of claws!"

Both mares stared to see Sludge on the floor of the classroom with several of Twilight's new royal guards. The stallions looked dismayed, with a pile of their helmets and armor sitting before the pudgy Sludge along with a small mound of bits. The Student Six looked on, with most curious and Smolder just disgusted. Sludge threw the dice in his claws and whooped with glee.

"Hah! I made the point! Fork 'em over, boys!" The Guards began stripping off their horseshoes and tossing them down before the dragon. Sludge said to the students. "See? Now here's a valuable lesson - how to take someone to the cleaners."

Starlight said nothing. She just glared at Twilight.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Okay, okay! Like you never made a mistake."

Session 87.12 Mtangalion

Starlight Glimmer trotted cheerfully through the halls of the Friendship Gaming Academy, closing in on her target, while carefully avoiding any students who might need actual guidance counseling and thus delay her… just for a little while. “Good morning, Spike!” she called out, as the young dragon flew past. “Hey, is that a loose scale?”

Spike tried to look at his own back and wound up flying around in circles. “Whoa, you’re right. Thanks! I have to look my best while I’m filling in for Rarity!” He casually plucked the loose old scale off and tossed it away.

Starlight caught the scale in her magic before it hit the floor, and hurried around a corner. “One sample from Spike, check.” She pulled a shirt out of her saddlebag, making a disgusted face at the food and drool stains. “One sample from… ugh, Sludge.”

She trotted into her office, shutting and locking the door, then grinned at the parchment on her desk. “And one genealogy spell, copied from the Archives!” She lit her horn and focused her energy. It wasn’t really necessary to knead her forehooves together too, but a little bit of maniacal glee never hurt anypony. “I don’t know why Twilight didn’t just cast this spell in the first place. I mean, sure, under Equestrian law it’s technically illegal to do this without the prior consent of all parties, but well, why wouldn’t you save Spike from having his heart jerked around like that? And it’s not as if petty rules really apply to a princess. She’d probably thank me if I told her!”

By now, the spell matrix was charged and ready to go, so Starlight let the magic fly. It danced across the scroll, spinning the scale and shirt in the air. Sparks flashed, scorching letters and words directly onto the parchment. “Ooh, these old self-coding spells are pretty flashy.”

Then Starlight translated the text from Middle-Ponish, and her brow furrowed. “Results inconclusive? Seriously?” More text began to appear, like reappearing disappearing ink. “Diagnostic error 47a… these old self-coding spells are useless! I could write a better spell myself. In fact, I will!”

Starlight started to trot away, but then she noticed that the spell hadn’t entirely discharged… Spike’s scale was still glowing and hovering in the air, chiming at regular intervals. “Huh, that’s odd…” She read through the whole spell again. “Oh! 47a means it wasn’t shielded properly. Another resonance is interfering with the primary result… but that means...” Her eyebrows shot up. “Spike has a blood sibling, right here at the school!?”

She opened the door of her office, glancing around casually. Off to the left, Garble was figuratively grilling Rainbow Dash, something about a magic shield and welching on a bet. “Spike and Garble, brothers? I could kinda see that…” To the right, Gallus was begging Smolder to share the cheat codes for Dragon Egg Endless Brawler. “On the other hoof, Smolder has had a lot of big sisterly advice for Spike…” Starlight racked her brains, trying to remember how many other young dragons attended the school… and accidentally bumped right into Twilight.

Twilight glared at her. “I don’t know what you did, but I can tell you’re up to something.”

Starlight grinned, sweating a bit. “Rutabaga flowers are better than apples?”

Twilight just sighed. “You know, maybe I *should* get Alisa to replace me so I can go on a long vacation.” She summoned the list of Things That Starlight Glimmer is Not Allowed to Do With Magic. “Okay, start talking.”

Session 87.13 Mtangalion

Twilight slumped into her big new swivel chair in the Headmare’s office, and didn’t resist when it spun in a full circle before coming to rest. “Okay, what’s all this about again?”

Garble stood up, snorting a lick of flame and pointing a claw at Rainbow Dash. “Professor Raindork here made a bet with me, then just flew off, so she should totally give me my gorge board back!”

Rainbow groaned. “We were kinda busy, you know, saving the Pillars from Limbo! Spike and I had to get that shield! Besides, I don’t even have the shield any more.” She turned her nose up, waving a hoof. “You can go to Canterlot and ask Flash Magnus, but I’m sure he’ll tell you that the shield is his property, not yours.”

Twilight massaged her temples. “I understand that, but did you really cheat Garble in a bet, Rainbow? That’s not very honest.”

Rainbow nearly fell out of her chair. “But… what… he’s… !”

Garble growled thoughtfully, then grinned darkly, kneading his claws. “I know how you could make it up to me.”

“Storm jewels?” asked Twilight. The three of them had flown to a mountain peak near Canterlot, so Rainbow could bring pitch dark storm clouds over to a place where Garble could stand. “Those actually existed?”

Garble grinned. “Duh, of course they did! Pegalopolis used to give them to dragons all the time to make treaties and stuff. Don’t you ponies remember anything? That wasn’t even a thousand years ago.”

“Oh, I remember,” said Rainbow, dropping another dead tree into the firepit she’d dug. “I had to study up on all that stuff when I joined the Wonderbolts.”

Twilight blinked. “So, what happened?”

Rainbow shrugged “Eh, they stop shining after a month unless a pegasus keeps them charged. Some dragons got greedy and kidnapped pegasi to do it, there was nearly a huge war… This had better not come back and bite me in the flank. Okay kid, light it up, hot as you can make it.”

Garble grinned darkly. “Not a problem. You flammable little ponies had better stand back, though!” He sucked in a huge breath, then breathed flame on the pile of wood, incinerating it right down to ash, and then he kept flaming until the whole pile of carbon glowed lava-red, then almost white.

At the same time, Rainbow Dash spread her wings, calling up blasts of wind that made Twilight yelp and shield herself. Rainbow bucked her stormcloud repeatedly, panting and wiping sweat from her brow. Bolt after bolt of lightning blasted the pile of carbon, until a brilliant flickering light shone through the dust cloud.

Garble gasped, then picked up a large clear gem, still hot enough to burn a pony’s hoof in moments. “You actually did it,” he breathed, slit-pupiled eyes drinking in the tiny bolts of lightning that constantly danced within the gem. “Garble likes it a lot. Garble WANT…”

The young red dragon seized up, and began growing alarmingly, bigger, stronger, looming over the two ponies. He got about twice as large before he suddenly roared “No!” and punched himself in the jaw. Garble toppled over, wheezing and shrinking back slowly. “Ugh… that was close! Hey! If I do that again, hit me, okay?”

Rainbow’s eyes grew wide. “You… want us to punch you? I’d be happy to, but I’d probably break my hoof.”

“Then use lightning or magic,” barked Garble. “Duh.”

Dash flew over to him cautiously. “What gives? I thought a dragon like you would love getting enormous and stompy.” She chuckled, rubbing the back of her neck. “I won’t lie, I’ve been big before and it was pretty awesome.”

Garble snorted. “You ponies, having everything super easy with your pony magic. Only an elder dragon can control his greed enough to stay huge without… ugh, going feral.” He looked away, aimlessly digging furrows with his toe claws. “Maybe that was cool ten thousand years ago. Who needs brains when you’re the biggest dragon with the best hoard, right? But nowadays? It’s super embarrassing! So when a baby dragon starts doing that in the Dragon Lands, a bigger dragon just smacks them down and that’s that.”

Twilight had a scroll and quill in her magic, and she was scribbling like mad to get all that written down. “There’s probably another lesson here, about learning about dragons by actually talking to dragons, instead of just reading about them.” She smiled. “I almost wish I could send all this knowledge back in time to my younger self, so she’d know it when she raised Spike.”

Rainbow smirked. “I’m sure Starlight could…”

“Almost!”

Session 87.14 Ardashir

"Hey, guys!" Dash sent a message off to her friends. "I'm right here in Power Ponies Online! Waiting for some company too. I can't wait to start making things tough for the good guys, Mwua-ahaha!" She grinned as spluttered laughter and groans of disgust came from the connection.

"Okay, Dash," Sunset said as she joined the site. "What are you so delighted about -- 'making things tough for the good guys'?"

"Aren't we usually good guys in these things?" Applejack's twang sounded over the connection. "We're kinda used to it."

"That's what I mean," Dash responded. She glanced over at her pile of old Mare-vel Comics. "This game lets you be a villain. Hey, we fought plenty of villains. Why not fight as them for once?" She glanced at a list of player choices for character customization. "Besides, it's the only way to get some of the cool powers."

"Like what?" Sunset asked, sounding wary even over the link.

"Like mind control," Dash ignored Sunset's squawk of despair as she eagerly put in a name for her character and chose the power set. "Hah! I've faced it so often, now I can find out what it feels like to turn everyone inta my own personal mind-whammied zombies." She laughed and rubbed her hands. "Now the world will learn to fear the power of -- HEDLOK!"

"Seriously?" Sunset's voice was utterly deadpan. "That's what you're going with as a villain name? Can't you pick something less, I don't know, painfully 90's Dark Age?"

"Okay, Miss Element of Trust, who are you going to be?" Dash huffed, hands on hips.

"Well, if we're going to be supervillains, let me see, hmm... So I can pick light and sound powers? Well, well, then!" Dash flinched a little as a faint reminder of Sunset Satan's voice came through the link. She blinked when Sunset's choice was rejected. "What the heck? 'No disco-relate dreferences allowed for villains in game'? Why the heck wouldn't they allow that?"

Dash chimed in.

"And who designed that in?"

***

At the Crystalsoft Offices:

Adagio Dazzle smirked to see who's choice had been rejected. Beside her, Aria frowned.

"Like, haven't you gotten over that, yet?" Aria shook her head. "We only had to be disco back-up singers for a year. And we did get to start that riot at Disco Demolition Night."

She jumped back as a wild-eyed Adagio wheeled on her.

"Nothing will ever remove the stain from my vocal cords!" Adagio shuddered. "I still remember singing that stupid duck song. Urrgh!" She smiled at the screen. "I helped kill Disco once -- and I'll stop it from tainting the image of villainy and evil again." She leaned back, hands folded behind her head. "So I guess even I've done a good deed. Hah!"

Session 87.15 Kendell2

"So the plot of this game is an alien invasion and we're supposed to stop it... simple enough," said Twilight. "Simple enough."

"That's not the point! The point is you can make totally insane guns!" Rainbow Dash replied, their characters currently at the prep area making their weapons. Twilight had never played and thus only had the basics. "Like this!"

Twilight blinked, looking at the gigantic gun that looked like she'd taken an entire armory and slapped it together into a single gun. "That is the most impractical thing I've ever seen..."

"I know! It's stupid, but it's stupid awesome!" said Rainbow as they entered the next room. "That's the entire point of this game! Making big stupid awesome weapons!"

"I see...is that why 90 percent of the dialog is jokes?"

"Yep..."

Twilight then looked at the box. "...Wait, how did you get a human world game without me knowing?"

"Human Rarity in exchange for some gemstones."

"...How do you know human Rarity?"

Rainbow Dash pointed to Twilight's computer where the human versions of them were clearly visible.

Twilight blushed. "Oh, yeah...right...How many jewels did you give her to make her willingly order THIS?"

Human Rarity gave a gleeful squee of a laugh as she looked at the jewel encrusted dress she'd made purely for the fashion of doing so.

"Enough."

"...We never mention how valuable jewels are over there to Garble."

"Agreed..." said Rainbow Dash as her character turned away from the shop workdesk with a gun firing spike balls, saw blades, and lava bombs. "So this is what being a mad scientist feels like."

OOC: Game is Mothergunship, which is basically 'stupid awesome gun simulator' and I love it even if I can't play it.

Session 87.16 Alex Warlorn, DianaGohan, sonicandmario826

Spike cheered, "Okay! Got the new Enchanted Comic! This one is based on the game Fire Brooch!"

Rainbow Dash snorted, "I swear, if Twilight starts fridge logicking this one, we tie her up, gag her, and put her in a closet listening to Pinkie Pie until that part of her brain shuts down."

Twilight Sparkle lectured, "'Fridge logicking' is not a word, and further more-"

"GET 'ER!"

-

Pinkie Pie said happily, "Hey you notice how this is done by JelloApocalypse? I mean how does that make any sense? You wouldn't be eating Jello during the apocalypse. I mean maybe if it was the only think you had to bake but if you had jello you'd have to also have some sugar and some baking supplies, unless it was instant jello. Which I mean isn't nearly as good as home made jello but it will do in a pinch though what you should really be pinching is a hint of cineammon and raspberry swirl chocolate nut butter. See you mix that up with some strawberry frosting and bake at about 350 degrees for 15 minutes and leave to cool then you get by far the best jello, at least best jello I've tasted. And I've tasted at least like 30 jellos and you know most of them are pretty good. There's this really nice lime and banana jello, upside down pineapple jello and yeah believe or not orange peach marrange jello. I mean was surprised too about orange peaches let alone putting them in jello but it surprisingly works really well. Oddly enough though I don't think I've ever had an apple jello which is so weird since AJ makes so many yummy snacks but she's never made an apple jello. Then again I haven't asked her to make one so I'm sure if I do she will. Ooh you think she'll make it an orange peach apple jello? I mean she is part Peach, and part Pie. OMG she's a Apple Peach Pie and she's the best so that would make the best APP. We should go to her and tell her that. "Hey AJ you're an awesome APP". Not that App from like that world you went to but the Apple Peach Pie kind of app. And-"

Twilight Sparkle was desperatley trying to pound on the closest doors to escape despite the gag and bonds around her.

Outside the closet Applejack asked, "Huh how come sugar cube can't just port out of there?"

Rainbow Dash smirked, "Oh it's a magic sealing spell circle. *holds up device* Daring Do found it and sent it to me for being so awesome/helping her out/keeping it out of enemy hands."

Fluttershy asked, "Do you really think we should be locking her in the closest for so long though?"

Rainbow Dash shrugged, "Eh it's only been ten minutes."

Applejack said, "Yeah Ten Pinkie Pie ranting on minutes which trust me ain't the same thing as normal minutes."

Rainbow Dash said, "Look just five more minutes and then she'll get the point about not being such a technical Tabitha."

Rarity replied, "Oh darling there's nothing wrong with being a Tabitha. Anyone caring such a lovely moniker as that one must have quite a lot going for them."

Applejack asked, "Is Tabitha even a name ponies have?"

Rarity nodded, "Indeed, Tabitha or "Tabby" Scoopers who writes all those lovely articles about new trends in Equestria's Fashion Gazette."

"Oh," AJ said.

Applejack then thought of something, "But doesn’t she also have earth pony str-" There was a big CRASH as the door went flying off its hinges.

Twilight roared, “RAINBOW DASH!!!!”

Rainbow could only say, “Oh shiiiiiitake mushrooms.”

AJ said, “You might want to run sugarcube.”

"You're the one who gave her the idea!"

"Blame later, run now!"

Rainbow Dash did just that as Twilight followed.

Rarity said, "Anypony reminded of that time Princess Luna attacked Princess Celestia with a toilet in revenge for not having her own throne for over a year?"

"That really happened? Rarity you should know better than to believe those tabloid stories," Fluttershy said.

Pinkie Pie hopped out of the closet. "Maybe it was true, and maybe it wasn't. And we should stop Twilight from turning Dashie into a rutabaga."

"I just wanted to save the kingdom leading my loyal army, meaning of all of you, as the Dragon Prince and save the kingdom of Herodandia from the Anti-Dragon," Spike sighed still holding the enchanted comic.

Session 87.17 Kendell2

"So what is this?" asked Fizzlepop, looking at the 'Age of Gods' game sitting before them.

The other members of the group were Twilight, Shining Armor, Trixie, Spike, and Zecora.

"It's called 'Age of the Gods,'" said Twilight. "Basically, it's like O&O but with the addition you play the gods player characters normally follow and worship and have to deal with everything that comes with that, while also playing as adventurers worshiping each other's gods, and having to stop godslaying villains with various motives from causing cataclysmic damage by killing gods willy nilly."

"And you don't have your normal gaming group because..." Trixie asked.

"Oh, because last time we played this is turned out the game was possessed by an evil god out of nowhere and we had to save the universe," Twilight replied in a too casual tone for most everyone's comfort. "Don't worry, already did every check on this version, no evil gods possessing it...and Rainbow Powers on standby."

"...You deal with that, and yet somehow you were scared enough of her to run clear across the world," said Trixie, glaring at Fizzlepop slightly.

"We didn't know she was out of Obsidian Orbs and were in a hurry to find someone who we thought could help stop Storm King," Twilight replied.

"Honestly surprised she's interested in playing a game about gods given how much she complained about the way the world treated her," the showmare replied.

Fizzlepop's face was unreadable. "...Because they tried to help me and I have no one to blame but myself for them not being able to. Hard for a god to help you when you're too hardhearted to even consider asking them for help."

Trixie for once was silent after that. As was the entire room.

"I think this game is a very good one," Zecora said, finally breaking the awkward silence. "We see everyday Celestia rise the sun. But how many times do we ever consider it, that being a god is more than just on a throne you sit."

"And it'll help me understand Cadence more," said Shining, to Fizzlepop's confusion seeming far more comfortable with her presence than Trixie.

"Alright, who wants to go first?" Twilight asked.

Session 87.18 Ardashir

"I will!" Trixie said, or rather announced. She jumped up in her chair and dramatically beat one hoof against her chest. "Trixie already knows what she wants to be the goddess of."

"This should be good," Tempest muttered. She didn't notice Trixie's smirk as she added, "Goddess of illusions, here we come --"

"Trixie is going to be Tempestas, the Goddess of Storms and Lightning!" As she spoke a small and thankfully illusionary storm cloud appeared over the table. A lightning bolt zigzagged out and lightly stung Tempest on the nose. Tempest gave a whinny and rubber her nose while Trixie said, "It is her divine duty to create the tapestry of the stormy sky and to bring the rains to the needy farmers. She is a replacement for her predecessor, who was too concerned with warfare to make a good Storm God."

"Okay..." Twilight said, blinking in surprise. "Er, why that choice? That doesn't seem like something you'd want to pick. Not very, er, showy."

"Wha-aaa-at?" Trixie gaped in mock shock. "Must everypony think the worst of the Great and Humble Trixie?" She put on a wounded look as she turned to her fellow players. None of them looked convinced. She snorted. "Very well. Because this way Trixie is both indispensable to anyone who has worshippers who need to grow crops."

"That sounds like her," Tempest's smirk faded as Trixie gave her a too innocent smile.

"Also, this way Trixie can imagine how she will make the old Storm King -- I mean God's, worshipers, work to earn her rewards." She set her muzzle on folded hooves and kept smiling at Tempest. "Can anypony guess who her new chief worship er is?"

Session 87.19 Alex Warlorn

Princess Twilight Sparkle was surprised to find an aquatic pony in a water ball wanting to see her in her office, she was even more surprised who it was.

"Electra?"

"Hello Princess Twilight... it's been a long time, even longer since you visited Aquastria."

"A... lot has happened since then."

"Yes I can see that. And I can see the fakers, I mean, hippogriffs here as well."

"... I am fully aware of the bad blood between the merponies and hippogriffs."

"... And I'll admit, it might have been my fault... I always taught young merponies that they shouldn't have to lean on others to accomplish their dreams. Be proud of what you are, don't change for anybody."

"'And merponies are better than seaponies?'"

"I never said I was perfect... Rainbow Dash saved me during the race, I'm not used to asking for help. Or having to thank someone, and I want to say, thank you for taking in Princess Wave Dancer. For accepting us as much as the rest. Even if I think you're kooky for wanting to open a friendship school when it's your people that have produced the most villains."

Twilight Sparkle cringed. "Well... we've been trying our hardest. I'm worried about Wave Dancer to be honest. I think she's almost SAD Cozy Glow got sent to Tartarus, and she put Wave Dancer in a block of ice!"

"What?! Why?!"

"She was the first pony to pay attention to her on their own. I think she plays up how much she doesn't like hippogriffs just so ponies will pay attention to her."

Session 87.20 Mtangalion

Silversteam turned her head slowly, looking all around the Cutie Map room. "Whoa... I can't believe we're really playing O&O HERE, with Headmare Twilight and her brother!"

Smolder fanned her wings lazily as she reread her character sheet. "Do we still get a passing grade, even if we don't defeat Lord Blackhoof?"

Gallus leaned back and put his paws up on the crystal table. "Relax, it's not that serious." He hesitated, looking to Sandbar. "It's not that serious, is it?"

Yona leaned towards the table thoughtfully. "You know, if map powered on, Gallus would be crushing Vanhoover!"

Shining cleared his throat. "No, no, sneaking around Lord Blackhoof's tower isn't serious at all. Except... for the patrolling guard!" He rolled a D20. "Who just walked in and saw you all!"

Ocellus gasped. "I cast Monster Summoning II, and call forth... er, um... a bugbear!" Unexpectedly, blue flames flashed and the young changeling actually *became* a bugbear. "Rawr, garglegargle!!"

Most of the young students yelped, falling out of their seats and scrambling for cover, but Twilight pulled out a pinch of leftover illusion-dispelling powder and flung it, turning Ocellus back to normal. Twilight grinned. "Huh. Usually, I only have to remind *unicorns* that in O&O we only cast spells with our imagination."

Shining Armor smirked. "Says the filly who brought all of my O&O miniatures to life one time."

Twilight blushed. "Hey! I lost one of your rulebooks and sorta panicked, okay? There were important rules that potentially weren't being followed! Rules! Not being followed!"

The students watched, suitably awed... and started scribbling in their notebooks.

"Seriously?" asked Twilight.

Session 87.21 Mtangalion

In a peaceful grassy meadow, fenced in by ancient stone walls and decorative hedges, Spike the Dragon suddenly appeared in a flurry of bright sparkles and dropped to the ground on all fours. “Whoa, so this is ‘Pyro’s Dragon Adventure?’” A second small dragon appeared the same way, pink-scaled with purple fins and wings. “Looking pretty sharp there, Starlight!”

Starlight the Dragon sat back on her haunches and lifted a foot, wiggling her claws. “Thanks, I think.” She pawed at a floating gemstone, then grinned when it flew towards her, adding points to the score numbers over her head. “These new enchanted comic video games are really something! I feel bad for anypony who owns stock in GameColt these days…”

“But, mom!” pleaded Button Mash.

Button’s mom put her hoof down. “You can play after dinner for one hour, Button. I’m not having you literally vanish into another world when there’s homework to be done.”

A bronze dragon with golden fins tapped a claw impatiently. “There ya are, Rainbow Dash! Took ya long enough.”

A sky-blue dragon with iridescent wings, fins, and underbelly scales strutted, striking a pose. “Sorry AJ, I was back on the character screen, putting all my points in speed. Aw, yeah!”

Not far away, Spike was once again trying to stand on two legs like he always did, and face-planting in the glass. “Ugh, this game makes no sense! Young dragons go on all fours, and grownup dragons walk on two? That’s totally backwards!”

Starlight rolled her eyes. “Spike… I’m asking this as a friend, but... is it just maybe possible that being raised by Twilight has made you prone to overthinking things sometimes?”

Spike was struggling to write on a scroll with claws adapted for running on all fours. “What were you saying, Starlight? I was busy making a list of things to complain to the author about. Like, why can I only jump and glide here, when I can fly between different game areas just fine?”

Starlight sighed. “It’s a game mechanic, Spike. It wouldn’t be much of a challenge if you just flew over all the puzzles, would it?”

“And where am I hoarding one hundred and forty-eight gems? Why doesn’t that cause greed growth?”

“Video game!”

“And those grownup dragons are way bigger and stronger than me! Why don’t they go defeat Dodgy Diamond Dog?”

Starlight grabbed Spike, glaring at him snout to snout. “Repeat after me: It’s just a game, I should really just relax!”

Spike groaned. “But…”

Starlight pointed. “Besides, he’s obviously not having any issues with game logic.”

Garble charged after a flock of sheep, bashing several metal chests open with his skull along the way. “Hah, yes! I may be shrimpy, but I can burn anything I want and no dumb ponies are gonna stop me!”

Spike sighed and smirked. “Well, when in Roam…”

Session 87.22 Alex Warlorn

*Spoilers, Nightmare Knights #2*

Adagio, "FINALLY! I thought they were never going to let us into this place!" Adagio grinned.

"It's so pretty!" Sonata giggled.

"We don't have money to gamble away Adagio, and how are we even going to bid on godlike power with these nasties around?" Aria asked.

"Oh please, remember? We have fortunes to draw on from our thousands of years alive on Earth!"

Meanwhile the villainous Sunset Shimmer bumped into a mare in a blue cloak, "Out of my peon!"

"I!~ Uh! Apologizes oh great one!"

"That's right!" Sunset said sticking her nose up and trotting along.

Sunset Shimmer Prime looked back in shock. "Okay, I knew following the sirens here was going to be weird but... I didn't expect to see ME here... And why is she talking with an evil version of Starlight Glimmer? From what Twilight told me, she was the communist to my 'law of the jungle'."

Session 87.23 Ardashir

Sunset-Prime soon overheard why those two were getting along.

"So I tell them I'm taking their talents to 'build a better and more equal Equestria', but I don't tell them I can call on any of the locked away talents whenever I have to," Evil-Starlight told Evil-Sunset, smirking all the while.

"So you'll be superior to everypony else?" Sunset asked with a snort fulled with contempt. "I figured you for a hypocrite; that must be why I like you!"

"What? No!" Evil-Starlight looked aggrieved, putting her ears back. "After I conquer -- I mean, liberate all Equestria, someone will need to be able to use Celestia and Luna's talents to maintain the day-night cycle. And being able to use any of hundreds of special talents will make that easier." She sighed. "I'm still trying to figure out how to do the same with my loyal followers. Imagine, an army where every soldier can do anything they need to be able do, whether they know it or not!"

The two mares looked delighted at the idea, as did a nearby stallion who looked overly geeky with pimples and thick eyeglasses.

"Bah! Small-timers!"

"What was that?" Evil-Sunset wheeled on him with a snort. "Who are you, tough guy, and how did you get in here?"

"I'm from the biggest game company in my Equestria..." Evil-Poindexter started to say. As the two mares rolled their eyes in scorn, he finished with, "And in my world I invented microtransactions!"

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?
What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 87.0 Mtangalion
Session 87.1 SomeRandomMinion
Session 87.3 Alex Warlorn
Session 87.4 Alex Warlorn
Session 87.5 Alex Warlorn
Session 87.6 Mtangalion
Session 87.7 Alex Warlorn
Session 87.8 Ardashir
Session 87.9 Kendell2
Session 87.10 Jarkes
Session 87.11 Ardashir
Session 87.12 Mtangalion
Session 87.13 Mtangalion
Session 87.14 Ardashir
Session 87.15 Kendell2
Session 87.16 Alex Warlorn, DianaGohan, sonicandmario826
Session 87.17 Kendell2
Session 87.18 Ardashir
Session 87.19 Alex Warlorn
Session 87.20 Mtangalion
Session 87.21 Mtangalion
Session 87.22 Alex Warlorn
Session 87.23 Ardashir

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Picture by https://www.deviantart.com/shinxx24 used with permission. https://www.deviantart.com/shinxx24/art/Dungeons-and-Scoots-757574262

Session 88

Session 88.0 Alex Warlorn

Spoilers for Skylander Academy Season 3

In an alternate reality, a couple times removed from this one, and may a few years down the line, a single mother came home to find her daughter on the couch binging NetStable.

"And how are you dear?" On the table were figurines with computer chips inside to unlock characters in an online video game called 'Pyro’s Skyland Acadamy', including a purple dragon, and a black and silver recoloring of the same character, which Fluttershy knew was her daughter's main.

The show Fluttercruel was watching happened to be a TV adaption of the game, ironically giving the titular character more screen time than the game itself.

The young child looked like her mother, but with grayer yellow skin, and her pink hair was darker and more wild, and her eyes, Sunset had given her a pair of glasses to make her eyes appear normal in public so people stopped asking awkward questions over and over.

"Meh! You remember how I told you the writers went with something daring by turning Pyro evil at the end of the second season?"

"Yes dear." Fluttershy had listened to her daughter's long rambles about the show including plot points and myth arcs.

"Well, they kept him as Shadow Pyro for 11 episodes out of a thirteen episode third season... And as he worked undercover for the villains among his friends he was slowly learning to be good again."

"That does sound interesting dear," Fluttershy said, sitting down next to her child.

"Yeah, doesn't it? By the end he begins subtly defying his master in spite of having all the good sucked out of him! Even when the villain gives him a 'booster shot' to 'reset' him back to pure evil, he still can't kill his best friend and tries to throw away the macguffin the villain needed! Which ironically is what cause it to open! ... But then the heroes had figured out what was going on, knocked him out, and figure out a potion to 'remove the darkness'. Which splits him into his good and evil sides! But he NEVER GOT BACK his original good side! Which means the new normal Pyro was Shadow Pyro's own good side! And Shadow Pyro became a cliche baddie without his good traits he'd grown on his own! And he and Pyro fight, and he's blown up! ... " Fluttercruel hugged. "And nobody grieved for him... Not the heroes, the bad guys didn't even acknowledged anything had happened to him." Fluttercruel hugged herself, shivering.

Fliuttershy saw some more of her daughter's toy figurines on the shelf. Including one of the dark counterpart to the angel hero of a Pretendo game, who in the end had become less evil and more rude and stubbornly independent.

Another of a custom ordered action figure from online of the robot copy of a speedy blue hedgehog who in the comics only had developed his own name and identity before the comic was rebooted and canceled and rebooted again.

And a figurine of the rival from the Hearts' Kingdom game, in his darkness costume, used by his clone who had appeared in only a hand held 'inter-quel?' 'mid-quel?', having been born and died inside the tower the game took place in.

Fluttershy hugged her. "Well, I see one split off darkside that's stay good after gaining her own form... And I know plenty of people who'd grieve if something happened to her."

"... Thanks mom." Fluttercruel leaned into her.

Session 88.1 Alex Warlorn and ItsFromPeople

(Continued From Session 16.22 Mtangalion)

Gilda said, "Well my country could desperately need some support. Ugh... But never tell anypony, anydragon or anygriff about this!"

Shining Armor replied, "Of course!"

Spike asked, "Why not let others know how much you have done for those griffs?"

Gilda snorted, "Then they'll expect it next time from me again. No, thanks."

Shining Armor grinned. "Don't worry, we won't tell anybody how much of a good person you actually are."

Gilda added, "Also! Grabby Grabby Griffins is only not speciesist if WE produce and sell it!"

"That's... reasonable I guess."

Spike asked, "You're okay with that?"

"Pipsqueak-"

"I'm not Pipsqueak, he's playing another one-on-one O&O pirate adventure with Princess Luna."

"-when a griffin dies, and they managed to get buried, they're buried clutching two gold coins in both claws, and that night, half of Griffinstone goes out to the graveyard with a lantern and shovels."

"Oh."

Session 88.2 Ardashir

"AHHH!" Twilight zapped yet another zombie griffon as it chased after her. "Students! Field Trip is canceled! Save yourselves!"

All over Griffonstone, angry undead griffons chased their living descendants, all yelling the same thing: "Gimme back my bits, ya crooks!"

Below her the Student Six fought back to back against the angry undead.

"Yeesh, Gallus!" Smolder incinerated one zombie. It went up in a puff of fire and feathers. "Did you HAVE to go 'treasure hunting' in the cemetery?"

"Aw, pipe down," he called to the dragoness as he tried to outrace an angry undead catbird chasing him. "You were the one who asked me, 'what do griffons do for fun around here'?"

"B-but robbing the dead?" Ocellus said from where she stood, currently in the form of a large bear.

"Hey, this whole town is pretty dead!" Gallus said back, sweeping his arms out.

Everything and one across Griffonstone froze to glare at him.

Gallus just sniffed. "Yeah, when Discord says it, then it's funny."

Session 88.3 Kendell2

"Okay, so explain this whole thing again?" Applejack asked, playing Manecraft with Twilight.

"Okay, so the Nether and Overworld have an interesting quirk: for every eight blocks traveling through Overworld you're only travelling one block through the Nether. So if you travel 100 blocks in the Nether, you're traveling 800 blocks in the Overworld," Twilight explained. "This means if you build a Nether portal in the Overworld but don't go through it, then build another at a different location, go through the Nether to that location in the Nether and build another portal, you can control where that portal spawns, but more importantly, you can effectively create a short cut through the Nether that only takes 1/8th the time to travel than going through the Overworld," Twilight explained, using informative illusions.

Applejack had a Desert Village that was extremely far from her home and turning it into a short walk was extremely appealing...so she took the coordinates and had Twilight do the math (divide each by 8) and built a Nether Portal beneath her base, and started towards the coordinates...

And was instantly reminded why the Nether was the Nether when a few blocks in lava started pouring down on her and she died.

And it also poured around her portal, making fixing that problem far more dangerous than she'd hoped, especially when for some reason placed blocks from inside the portal didn't set right.

After that, things where largely uneventful as she tunneled towards the coordinates, thankfully being in a tunnel with no Ghasts, until the time came to dig down to match the Y Axis...

"Wait a sec..." Applejack said, listening and hearing a familiar sound. "Blazes? Must be near a Nether Fortress...well, that saves meh some trouble later..." she muttered, and continued making her staircase...until she fell into the chamber with the Blaze Spawner and was surrounded by them. "HORSEAPPLES!"

One frantic building session later, she finally made it to the location...and realized that she'd forgotten the Obsidian for the portal and had to run back and get it before she finally linked the portals, finding herself in the Desert Village.

"Yah'd better appreciate that..." said Applejack, staring at a villager.

"Hmmm?" replied the villager, simply standing there and staring at her.

OOC: My first experience trying to make a Nether shortcut.

Session 88.4 Kendell2

"Wow..." said Sunset, her ingame self standing in Wallflower's Rainbows and Crystals house.

Which was essentially a gigantic garden with basically every flower known in the game. "So that's why you needed help finding all those kinds of flowers..."

"Too much?" Wallflower asked sheepishly.

Sunset smiled. "There's no such thing as TOO MUCH in this game. That's what makes it fun..." she said with a smile. "Besides, have you SEEN Pinkie Pie's house?"

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" typed Pinkie Pie as her character road the Ferris Wheel...and had basically made her entire house an amusement park shaped like a house.

"This is all about fun," Sunset replied, noting Wallflower's character was bright, colorful, and distinctive. Not garish, mind you, but clearly someone you wouldn't forget seeing.

"Thanks..." said Wallflower, giving a small smile. "I know there's some underwater flowers added in the latest update, want to dive down and get some for my pond?"

Sunset nodded. "Yeah, I want to get some Sunfish for my aquarium."

The two put snorkels on their characters (which somehow let them dive down deep). There was no drowning mechanic, if they ran out of air, their character simply automatically surfaced, but somehow a snorkal was all they needed.

Diving down, they found the underwater area had been heavily added to, being far more breathtaking and beautiful...coincidentally in tandem with the snorkal update.

As the two found the flowers and Sunset's sunfish...and also a tidal area that neither could cross.

"...Hmm...I wonder what that's all about..." Sunset said...then just smiled as Wallflower was actually SMILING and HAPPY having fun with a friend. "Questions for later..."

Session 88.5 Mtangalion

Headmare Twilight was just about to begin her first afternoon class of the day, Oubliette Mastery 101, when the classroom door flew open. Applejack barged in, gasping for breath. “Sorry to interrupt, Twi, but we’ve got a serious situation!”

Spike left yesterday’s homework papers on the desk and flew over. “Whoa, take it easy! What’s the matter?”

Garble, who was only there because Dragon Lord Ember had commanded him to attend classes “to make him a better ambassador,” elbowed Smolder in the next seat over. “I bet she ran out of cider and can’t find another bottle!” Without changing her bored expression, Smolder seized the offending elbow and pinched it hard. “Ow, jeez! Lighten up!”

Twilight nudged her friend reassuringly. “Just tell me what the problem is, AJ.”

Applejack sighed. “It was those varmints, Flim and Flam. They swindled the Golden Horseshoe Gals into spending their whole club budget on some kind of 'dragon longevity' potion. Ah warned ‘em it might do anything, but they tried it out and…”

The door banged open again, and four large healthy *dragonesses* squeezed through, each of them about twice the size of a pony, with smooth glossy scales, excellent muscle tone, and shapely curves. Their leader, the apple-green dragoness with pale gold fins, and orange swept-back horns that matched her pupils and wings, roared “Ah ha! So this is where ya ran off to, Applejack!”

“Granny Smith?!” exclaimed Twilight. Her eyes grew wider as she looked at the rest of them one by one… lime green scales with purple fins, peach with pink fins, bronze scales with green fins… “Auntie Applesauce? Apple Rose?! Goldie Delicious!?”

Most of the students bolted out of their seats and moved towards the back rows to get further away, but the three dragons who were actually supposed to be dragons stayed where they were… Smolder scowled, while Garble gawked, rubbed his eyes, and gawked some more. Spike gaped at them open-mouthed, still hovering in the air, until Twilight noticed and closed his mouth with a hoof, before anything flammable could drip onto the carpet.

AJ groaned. “Granny, Ah told ya to stay put! You can’t go getting all excited, especially in your condition.”

“My condition?” retorted Granny. “Fiddlesticks!” She struck an energetic pose and breathed a column of fire which barely missed the ceiling. “Ah haven’t felt this good in fifty years!”

“That’s because an elderly pony is still only a young adult in dragon years,” said Twilight, somewhat dazed. “I can’t believe that Flim and Flam actually invented something potentially useful…”

While Granny Smith and Auntie Applesauce argued with Applejack, Goldie Delicious tromped across the classroom and stopped in front of Garble. “Hey there, handsome.”

Garble blinked, then slowly turned a full 180 degrees in his chair to confirm that there were no handsome dragons standing behind him. “Me?” he asked, pointing at his chest.

“Well, who else, sugar?” said Goldie, leaning closer.

“He does look like a mighty fine catch!” said Apple Rose, joining her.

Smolder’s forehead twitched. “You… girls haven’t seen a lot of guy dragons, have you?”

Garble grinned slyly and waved a paw, trying to shush her. “Tell me more about how handsome I am, ladies…”

They were just about to snuggle up to Garble, when Twilight suddenly teleported him across the room. “Fair warning, ‘handsome.’ Those four dragons? They usually look like this.” She created a magical image of four elderly mares.

Garble cringed, his crimson scales looking a little green. “Wait, you mean… I could have been kissing that…” He pointed at the pouting dragonesses. “And suddenly the potion or whatever wears off and they turn back into this!?” He waved his limbs frantically. “Nope! Pass! I’m outta here!” He flew out of the classroom at top speed.

“He’s getting away!” cried Auntie Applesauce. “First one to catch him gets to ask him on the first date!”

At that very moment, Sludge rushed into the classroom, panting harder than Applejack had been. “Ladies, ladies! Why settle for the Overbite Kid when you can have a real dragon, like… whoa, hey…” Granny Smith, Auntie Applesauce, Goldie Delicious bowled Sludge over and walked all over him in their haste to chase after Garble. “Oh, the pain, the pain! I’ll need to be nursed back to health… should only take… another month or two…”

Applejack chased after them… though at least she said “‘Scuse me, pardon me!” and didn’t step on Sludge, at least not on purpose.

Spike was startled by Apple Rose scratching his head fins. “If they can’t change us back, call me in ten years, cutie!” She winked slyly, then rushed after the others, trampling Sludge one more time. “Now, how do we fly again...”

Spike fluttered to an ungraceful landing, staring after her. “Buh… buh…”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t you saving yourself? You know, for Rarity?”

Spike looked up at Twilight. “Who?”

Twilight facehoofed. “Let’s just get the rest of that potion before anypony else gets into it. We need to know exactly what Flim and Flam managed to cook up.”

Session 88.6 Ardashir

"Shouldn't you do something about the new dragons, while you're at it?" Smolder folded her arms over her chest. She flew to Twilight, and jerked a thumb at herself. "Dragon Lord Ember won't be happy when she finds out ponies are turning into dragons because of some potion two con artists made."

Twilight scowled. "You're right. Starlight can contact Ember, I -- Starlight!"

Starlight froze where she stood. She was helping the still woozy Sludge to his feet, and was wiping his face with what looked like a sterile cloth. "I'm not getting anyone's DNA -- I mean, er, what?"

"Getting their what now?" Twilight shook her head. "Never mind. Look, just contact Ember. If the dragon potion's not permanent, she'll probably want to talk to Flim and Flam."

"And if it is, she's gonna want ta roast them," Smolder flew to the window. Amusement bubbled up in her voice. "Uh, teacher Twilight, I think maybe ya wanna check on those four new dragons."

Twilight gulped. She knew something of the draconic sense of humor. Ignoring Starlight as she gathered up some scales shed by the terrified Garble in his flight before leaving the room to cast her spell, she went to the window beside Smolder. "I'm not going to like what I'm about to see, am I?"

She didn't.

"AHHHHH!" Garble flew past the window, his wings beating faster than she'd ever seen. Eyes wide with terror, he shrieked, "Why did I haveta be cursed with being irresistible ta dragonesses?"

"Hold on there, handsome!" Goldie Delicious flew into sight, hot on his tail, zeroing in on him like a magically-guided ballista bolt. The first of the four cougars licked her scaly lips. "It's five laps and the winner gets you, but anypony, er, dragon that gets you before that gets a free kiss!" Twilight shuddered and Smolder laughed to see Goldie smack her lips. Garble glanced back, saw it, and with a howl redoubled his speed.

"Dang ya, Goldie!" Granny Smith flew after her, eyes blazing. Auntie Applesauce and Apple Rose were neck and neck behind her. Granny growled. "Ya breathed fire at us, that's gotta be cheatin'!"

"Yahoo!" Smolder clapped her claws before cupping them to her mouth. "Hey, new sisters! Catch him and I swear I'll be Maid of Honor at the wedding!"

As Smolder cheered the racers on Twilight slumped down, face in her hooves. This day couldn't possibly get worse. Unless Flim and Flam sold their potion to any other ponies. But they wouldn't, would they?

Her answer came as a pale brown male dragon the same size as the other four with pale orange spikes running along his spine dropped down before the window. Twilight heard Smolder's sudden intake of breath as the light reflected off of his magnificent brown eyes. She sternly told herself she was not getting attracted to a dragon, no matter how amazingly handsome and charismatic he was.

Oh, no.

"Young ladies," Grand Pear gave her a smile that sent her heart fluttering. Smolder sighed dreamily beside her. "I was looking for four incredibly gorgeous dragonesses. I was thinking of asking them to go flying together That new medicine those Flim and Flam fellows are selling really puts the life back into you!"

(OOC: Teen Dragon!Grand Pear will affect all the mares because, well, Kirk.)

Session 88.7 Mtangalion

“Mr. Slim? Mr. Slam?” called Rarity from her kitchen. “Can I get you any more tea?”

“No thank you, miss!” said “Mr. Slim” brightly. The corner of his bushy blond beard came loose, leaving the beard barely clinging to his face.

“Mr. Slam” did a double-take, and hastily reattached the beard with his magic. “We’re fine, thanks!”

Rarity returned to her sitting area, taking a long sip from her own teacup. “This dragon longevity potion certainly is expensive… on the other hoof, what upcoming designer wouldn’t want additional years of youth and vitality to further make her mark on the world…” She blushed a bit. “And to give a certain young dragon a fair chance…” She lifted her head, smiling. “Yes, I do believe I’ll take it!”

“Excellent choice, miss!” said Mr. Slim, hastily cramming the large bag full of Rarity’s bits into a lockbox. “Just remember, the potion is freshly mixed, so be sure and wait at least six hours before you…” His eyes bulged, seeing Rarity already uncorking it with her magic and gulping it down. “... drink it…”

Mr. Slam coughed. “Right, I think our business here is concluded! Let’s move along, brother of mine…”

There was a brilliant flash and a wave of heat. “Oh my,” squeaked Rarity. “I feel rather peculiar. That’s odd, did you gentlecolts just get taller? Why does my voice sound all high-pitched and raspy?” Small clawed feet shuffled across the carpet, bringing Rarity to a full length mirror… and the reflection looking back at her was that of a pearly-white dragoness with crystal-blue belly scales, about midway between Spike’s age and Smolder’s. Elegant purple spines ran down her back, slim purple wings fluttered, and a curl of purple fur twitched on the very tip of her tail.

Naturally, Rarity did the only possible thing and shrieked at the top of her lungs… which were smaller, true, but no less potent.

The Boutique doors flew open, and the brothers galloped through with their lockbox and cart with more potions in tow, losing the flimsy disguises in their haste. Rarity stumbled after them on all fours, face-planting twice before she had the inspiration to run on two legs instead. “Flim! Flam! I should have known!” she roared. “Get back here! What do you intend to do about this… this situation you’ve created!?”

Flim grinned. “Well, for one thing, we’ve been marketing this stuff all wrong!”

Flam paused long enough to rub his forehooves together greedily. “We can charge so much more for a *real* dragon potion!”

In the middle of this, Spike rocketed around a corner, flying like a giant roc was after him. “Rarity! I’d know that scream anywhere! Are you… okay…” Time seemed to slow down, and Spike’s eyes grew so large, they threatened to crowd everything else off his face. “You’re better than okay… you’re *beautiful*...”

And Rarity gasped, spinning towards him. “Spikey-Wikey?!” She blushed, feeling a furnace-heat in her new dragonish chest. “Spike… Oh my word, Spike, I never realized, you’re...”

The two young dragons flew right into each other and fell down in a heap, giving Flim and Flam time to gallop clean away, fleeing towards the city limits.

Spike shook it off and got to his feet first, having gained a lot of experience with high-speed crashes since he started flying. “Rarity! Oh my gosh, are you okay?” He held out his claw.

Rarity sat up, looking deep into Spike’s eyes. “I’ve… never felt better…” Their claws touched, clasped…

A power ballad seemed to swell across Ponyville, complete with synth and rock guitars. A mare’s voice belted out, “I want to know what love is! ~~~” before breaking into a fit of coughing. The music ground to a halt.

Spike and Rarity turned to look.

“Sorry,” said Octavia, standing atop Vinyl Scratch’s mobile audio-wagon. “Had a bit of a frog in my throat,” she told Vinyl. “Can I go again?”

Vinyl shook her head and lifted a marker in her magic, making another tally-mark under her name on a whiteboard. Whatever game they were playing, the score was Octavia 4, Vinyl 6 now.

Rarity looked to Spike, blushing again, still clasping his claw. “I suppose this transformation of mine won’t last. Such things never seem to…”

Spike grinned hugely, scratching the back of his head with his free claw. “Yeah… but in the meantime…” He beamed at her. “Come fly with me?”

“I know that one too!” shouted Octavia.

Vinyl Scratch tapped a button on her keyboard, playing a pre-recorded rimshot.

Session 88.8 Mtangalion Ardashir Alex Warlorn Kendell2

Twilight examined the increasingly out of control situation. "This is getting out of hand."

"Uh, don't dragons have a very small reproduction rate? Won't this cause...issues?" asked Starlight.

Twilight's eye twitched at that, her mind envisioning a thousand years from now with the world overun by adult dragons. "Starlight! Go back in time and erase the idea of the potion from Flim and Flam's minds before they ever invent it!"

Starlight raised an eyebrow. "But you told me never to use time travel or mind magic ever again!"

Twilight looked at her frantically. "This is an exception!"

Starlight looked defensive. "But you'll get angry at me when I return to the present and you don't remember you telling me to!"

Twilight wrote a note literally to herself. "Here, give this back to me when you return!"

"Okay then..." Starlight said, teleporting away.

Twilight sighed. "Okay, I sent Starlight off... What's taking her so long? She's time traveling!" She then froze as a massive shadow appeared over her. A gigantic dragon with scales and spines in Starlight's coat and mane colors landed behind her.

The dragon robbed her head awkwardly. "Er, Twilight? Well, I cast the spell to find and meet the pony who made that potion, and it turned out they were actually born back after the Three Tribes settled Equestria. And they needed a test subject, so... Well, a year ago Flim and Flam stole the potion recipe from my lair. But we'll figure this out, right?"

Twilight's mane began to get disheveled. "I think I'm about to go crazy here! What else?"

Ember followed Starlight and landed next to her, before seeing a screaming Garble fleeing the four new whelps. "So that's them, huh? Dad and I both told you to keep a better eye on that potion recipe! It's like you wanted it to be stolen!"

Starlight's eyes darted back and forth. "Just avoiding a time paradox, dear."

Twilight blinked. "Wait, are we in an alternate timeline now?"

Starlight shrugged. "I prefer new and improved. Oh, hey, check this out." She then turned into an Alicorn an inch taller than Celestia, with shimmering galaxies and chrono-shifts in her flowing mane, and poses before changing back.

Ember blushed. "Mooom, don't turn into a pony! It's embarrassing."

Twilight sighed. "I'm still having trouble picturing it... you? And Torch?"

Starlight gave a shrug. "What can I say? Neither one of us has to ask 'Did you feel the earth move?'"

Twilight's face turned green. "I never thought I'd say this, but... too much information!"

-

"And that's what would happen if you told me to go back in time to fix this," Starlight said gesturing to the world mirror showing off what had happened.

"Okay... so using time travel to solve this is out, got it," Twilight remarked.

Session 88.9 Ardashir

As Twilight argued over how to handle the five old ponies turned lecherous teenage dragons, Starlight took her collected scales into her lab and got to work.

"Okay," she examined a red scale. "Here's from Garble. Ugh, and this," she shuddered as she removed a stained cloth, "came from Sludge." She looked at a third example, some purple scales. "And Spike. Now we'll find out who he's related to and learn something about his family."

She set the purple scales down in between the samples from Garble and Sludge, took a deep breath, and cast her spell. A corona of pale violet magic wafted from her horn to the three samples.

"Now to see if Spike's related to Garble," Starlight smiled, "and I'll repeat my prior experiment with Sludge's scales just to be sure I can take him off the list. Maybe then Trixie will stop saying I can't handle these spells."

The energy hovered over the purple scales, extended two tendrils... Starlight clapped her hooves in glee.

And froze in shock at what happened next.

"Ladies! Stop chasing Garble!" Twilight yelled out the window. Behind her Sludge held an icepack to his head. As Garble and the four transformed mares flew past, she yelled to their pursuer, "Grand Pear! This is undignified for a stallion of your years! Even if he did become a teen dragon!"

"Twilight!" Starlight raced into the room, looking stunned. "I cast that heredity spell! Garble and Spike aren't related..."

"Good!" Garble yelled as he flew past the window again. "I knew I couldn't be related to that namby-pamby pony lover!" He flew on, with a yell of "Last lap, girls!" following him.

"But Garble is Sludge's son!" Starlight pointed her hoof at Sludge. She held the scale samples in her magic, with the green ones and the red ones both glowing the same shade of violet.

"What?" Twilight gaped in shock.

"What?" Sludge turned to the window and yelled out, "My sonny boy is an ambassador!"

"WHAT?" Garble flew headfirst into the crystal wall of the castle. "Owww! No way!"

"He's all mine!" Goldie Delicious cheered as she dove on the horrified Garble.

Session 88.10 Kendell2

In Alternate Universe

"So has anyone seen Chrysalis lately? She normally would've caused more trouble by now..." said Applejack shortly after their rather unpleasant camping trip.

"Not for awhile. Discord said he would pull a prank on her, hope he didn't go too far..." said Twilight.

"Hehe..." Discord said, holding the Frazzit's prison and dumping it down the chimney of Chrysalis's back up castle.

"I'm sure everything is fine..." said Rarity. "Besides, Chrysalis would kind of deserve it..."

"True..."

"Let me back in!" yelled Chrysalis like she was a child throwing a tantrum.

Imago merely ignored her, having a look in her eye akin to Chrysalis at her most happy, sitting on a throne and giving orders as Frazzits jumped around obliviously. "I know eventually we'll have to put things back, but I'm going to enjoy this..." she said with a smirk and laugh matching her mother's. "How exactly did that evil clone plan go, mother?"

"It would've gone a lot better if I didn't have your incompetence driven into my head!"

OOC: One explanation for why Chrysalis's competence levels dropped like a rock in the Mean Six episode...

Session 88.11 Grogar-the-oneser

(My addition to mtangolion)

"Give me that!" Twilight snapped as she read the notes "That doesn't say he his son."

"Oh thank Tiamat." Garble muttered

"It's said he his uncle," Twilight stated.

"AGREAERHWESGRWGRTVHYTRD!" Garble roared angrily, swearing in gibberish.

Session 88.12 Kendell2

"So, what do you think?" asked Applejack, seeming rather proud of the desert palace she'd built in Manecraft.

"Well done," said Twilight. "...Though is it just me or is the window and door off center?"

"Say what now?" Applejack asked, looking at it...and noticing indeed on one half the building the windows (and the wall inside) was indeed one block off compared to the other side. "...Gosh darn it!"

Twilight looked around the world. "Hey wasn't there a desert mountain over there?"

"Yeah, it's mah house now..." Applejack replied, grumbling as she sat about fixing her house.

"Oh..."

OOC: Again, true story.

Session 88.13 Grogar-the-oneser

"Do you know what i see..." Eris muttered looking through the mirror at the dragon potion fiasco.

"Err... A red dragon having a mental breakdown at dodging a figurative bad parent but still being related to a fat dragon while running away from creepy obsess teenage girls?" A guard said

"No, I see profit," Eris said

"Well that good.... how do we profit?"

Eris just smirked

(linebreak)

"STINKWOOD POTION!" A vendor pony (From Eris casino stated) "Strong enough to make any teenage girl that isn't a skunk run away from you like crazy!"

"SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!" Garble shouted as he drop the money and grab the jar before flying away.

The Vendor pony (Making sure Garble left the area) then pulled out gasmasks "Gasmasks for sale!"

Session 88.14 Ardashir

"Twilight!" Princess Ember dropped down before Twilight, the Bloodstone Scepter in one claw. "I got a message from Spike. What's this about somepony making a potion to create new dragons?"

"Ember! I'm glad you got here." The purple princess sighed in relief. Maybe now they could settle this problem. She quickly explained what was happening. "So Flim and Flam sold the potion to Applejack's grandmother and four other old ponies..."

"And one young one, Twilight." Dragon and Pony Princess both blinked to see a small and elegant white dragoness come strolling up, with a dreamy-looking Spike following her. "The last I saw those two swindlers, they were headed for the edge of town and saying they would sell the potion to more ponies for more money."

"Arrgh!" Twilight facehoofed. She flew up and looked around, seeing a dust trail vanishing in the direction of Canterlot. She landed, shaking her head. "Great! Now we'll have to deal with a whole horde of ponies turned fire-breathing reptilian barbarians."

Ember growled and Smolder glared. Twilight smiled weakly and quickly added, "But thankfully we have two experts on site to help."

Before she could say more a new shriek came from beside the school. Twilight and the others hurried to see Garble trapped between the four dragonesses. Cast off gas masks, of all things, lay at their clawed feet. Locking their lips with long forked tongues, they prowled around him.

"Fair's fair, girls," Goldie Delicious said, stopping in front of Garble and walking two of her claws up his scaly chest. Garble seemed to have trouble breathing as Goldie chucked him under the chin before grabbing hold of it. "I won the race and caught him, so I get first kiss!"

"Ember!" Garble reached out towards her. A breeze blew from him to them. Twilight gagged and Ember quickly put a claw over her nose. "Ya gotta help me! How will dragonkind survive without me?"

"We should be so lucky," Smolder said. Ember shushed her.

"Garble, why should I save you from any dragoness crazy enough to want you?" Ember flew over, hovering nearby the five dragons. She looked at Twilight. "For that matter, why should I stop two ponies who want to uplift ponies into being dragons?"

"They're charging for it!" Twilight yelled at her.

"And?"

"We don't know where they're getting the dragon essence for it!" Twilight flew to Ember. Goldie, Granny Smith, and the others were watching Ember as warily as any dragon faced with a threat to something it desired. "What if they're hurting dragons somehow?"

"Well, I guess," Ember folded her arms and furrowed her scaly brow in thought. "Wait, didn't you say there were five ponies turned dragons?"

"Six, darling," Rarity said. No one paid attention. She folded her arms and pouted.

"Well, yes, there's Grand Pear. He's the dragon with the lovely brown scales and silky commanding voice and..." Twilight shook herself. "Ember, be careful. Something about him makes females act foolish."

Ember laughed and sprayed fire. "Pony females, maybe, but not dragons. We have more self control, not like you mammals. Besides, I have the Bloodstone Scepter," she brandished it, crimson light spilling from its gems. "I command other dragons, not the other way around --"

"Miss Twilight!" Ember froze as Grand Pear flew down between her and Twilight. The sunlight gleamed magnificently on his scales. Ember stared and began panting as he spoke. "Have you convinced the ladies to let poor Garble go? Maybe we ponies should just leave dragons alone. Our advanced culture could damage theirs. You'd think it would be a prime directive to -- oh, hello, madam," he smiled at Ember. "I apologize, I seem to have missed your name?"

"Bwuh-huh," Ember said, tongue still lolling, the Bloodstone Scepter falling from her claws to land at Granny Smith's feet. Twilight wondered if Ember's IQ had just dropped by thirty points as she said, "I'm handsome, Ember. I mean, I'm Ember, handsome. I think I am, anyway." Looking like she floated rather than hovered, Ember said in a voice that sounded like she'd been drugged, "Hey, uh, wanna be mine in exchange for getting to be Dragon Lord? I have the scepter right here. Hey!" Ember seemed to come back to her senses. "Where's the scepter?"

"Ya mean this here thing?" Everyone turned to see the still draconic Granny Smith raising the Bloodstone Scepter in one claw. It flashed with light. "Yeow! What in the hay does that mean?"

Smolder looked faint. She looked at Twilight. "It means that unless Princess Ember can win a challenge for the throne, dragons have a new Dragon Lord!"

Session 88.15 Mtangalion

Garble squeezed his claws into fists, bracing himself, then blurted out, “I’ll trade you!”

“Huh?” said Twilight, Spike, and baby dragon Rarity.

“Eh? What now?” said Granny Smith, sounding very much like her old self, even if her voice was clear and strong now.

Garble pointed. “You give me the Bloodstone Scepter, and… and I’ll give you that kiss!”

Granny Smith padded closer, giving him a saucy grin. “Oh, will you now? This had better be a real kiss, not some peck on the cheek! Ah’ve got experience, ya know!”

Garble gulped, sweating more as he took her claws in his, and wrapped one paw around the scepter. Then he gave her a quick kiss, but Granny Smith seized him with draconic strength and kissed him deeply, holding him still until the young red dragon stopped trying to squirm away, and started kissing her back.

Spike and Twilight’s eyes grew huge.

Grand Pear watched the green-scaled alien female getting kissed, and felt oddly jealous.

Rarity clasped her claws, blushing at the scene. “Oh my! I was half-convinced that by taking the scepter, Garble would become a prince, and thus his kiss would break the spell, but this is much more romantic!”

The rest of the Golden Horseshoe gals pouted, and then they started cheering Granny on.

“Well, don’t that beat all,” said Applejack, arriving at a trot with Big Mac beside her. “At this rate, we’re gonna have real live dragons in the Apple family! Heck, maybe Twilight should just marry ‘em now. Spike, how quick can you get a marriage license?”

Big Mac groaned. “Would ya knock it off with the matchmaking, AJ? You ain’t the Apple family matriarch just yet.”

AJ gave her brother such a glare that he backed up a couple paces. “And don’t think Ah’ve forgotten you, Mac! It’s high time ya picked one of those pretty mares you’ve been stringing along and gave me some nieces and nephews! Heck, pick all of ‘em! There’s plenty of ya to go around!”

Meanwhile, Garble gasped and panted, finally coming up for air. “Whoa… how?”

Granny chuckled and flicked his scaly nose with her tongue. “Ah told ya, experience. You ain’t had that much yerself, have ya?” She stroked his head fins soothingly. “Don’t you fret, we can make up for lost time. Oh, and Ah guess yer the Dragon Lord now.”

“Huh?” Garble realized that he had one arm around the sexy young dragoness, and his other claw was indeed clutching the flashing Bloodstone Scepter. “Awesome! I guess I am!” He admired it, then went back to kissing Granny Smith.

Grand Pear could stand no more… he flew over and shook Ember. “That rebel dragon is taking a mate you don’t approve of, and trying to take usurp your rule! Let me fight him… as your champion!”

“Hey!” snarled Ember. “Female dragons aren’t weak like pony females! I can fight for myself!” But then she made the mistake of looking into Grand Pear’s hazel eyes again. “But I guess that’d be hot. I mean, fine! You’re fine! And hot!”

“You’ve got… to snap… yourself out of it!” exclaimed Grand Pear, shaking her again. He looked to Rarity. “You there! Shirt!”

Rarity blinked. “Eh? Why?” Still, she pulled a greenish-gold shirt out of… somewhere, and tossed it to the handsome bronze dragon.

Grand Pear pulled the shirt on quickly, then tore it with his claws! Everyone gasped!

"Why are we gasping?" whispered Twilight.

Smolder clasped her claws like a besotted school filly and batted her eyelashes at Grand Pear. "Don't know, don't care," she purred.

Garble snorted flames, laying down the Scepter to put his fists up! “So, you wanna fight a real dragon that bad, pops? Get over here!”

“Huh? Where’s that music coming from?” asked Spike. “With the drums and horns… It makes me want to get all fired up and punch stuff!”

Session 88.16 Alex Warlorn (So long and thanks for all the love.)

Rarity as a tweenage dragon said, "Spike darling? Let's just have fun."

"Alright!"

Author's Note

This chapter needs cover art!

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?
What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 88.0 Alex Warlorn
Session 88.1 Alex Warlorn and ItsFromPeople (and Ardashir?)
Session 88.2 Ardashir
Session 88.3 Kendell2
Session 88.4 Kendell2
Session 88.5 Mtangalion
Session 88.6 Ardashir
Session 88.7 Mtangalion
Session 88.8 Mtangalion Ardashir Alex Warlorn Kendell2
Session 88.9 Ardashir
Session 88.10 Kendell2
Session 88.11 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 88.12 Kendell2
Session 88.13 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 88.14 Ardashir
Session 88.15 Mtangalion
Session 88.16 Alex Warlorn (So long and thanks for all the love.)

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Picture by used with permission.

THIS CHAPTER NEEDS COVER ART!

Session 88.5

Session 88.17 Ardashir

"Oh, I am trapped by the wicked knight!" Rari-dragon put the back of one claw to her scaly brow. Nearby a collection of buckets, old drain pipes, and a hoe made the 'wicked knight'. "Who ever will save me from this terrible creature who wants to hang my scaly hide on his wall?"

"You know I will, I mean!" Spike flapped up to the 'knight', knocked on his chest, and said in a deep voice, "I will save you, fair dragon maiden!" He breathed fire on the piled scrap, knocking it over, before he landed beside Rarity as she 'fainted' into his arms.

"Oh, you've saved me! My hero!" Rari-dragon puckered her scaly lips up... Spike leaned closer, feeling his heart beat faster...

Shattering roars came from the area of the Friendship Palace. Curious, Rarity flew to look. Annoyed, Spike followed.

"You can't withstand my superior fighting skills!" Grand Pear yelled. "Hai-yah!" He chopped at Garble's side as the red dragon heaved a boulder up over his head. Garble dropped the boulder, which shattered as soon as it connected with his ever harder head. He hopped and howled in pain.

Nearby several dragonesses and two ponies watched the whole thing. Music of drums and horns filled the air with a song of aggression. Past the onlookers, Vinyl watched the show as she worked her music cart.

"You can't have an action scene these days without music!"

"Come on, handsome!" Goldie yelled at Garble. "Beat him and you get all of us!" The rest of the Golden Horsehoe gals cheered.

"Ladies!" Twilight looked horrified. She turned to Ember, who was keeping her eyes firmly locked on the dragonified Grand Pear. "Ember! Tell them no! Dragons don't have harems!"

She reared back as Amber spun on her. "Hey, who are you to say what dragons can and can't do? My grand-aunt kept a dozen kidnapped pony stallions in her cave." She looked back at the fight as Garble got a bearhug on Grand Pear. His eyes locked with hers and she panted again. "Then again, if I get that scaly stud I won't want any other males."

Grand Pear ear-clapped Garble. The would-be Dragon Lord collapsed with a howl.

Twilight gripped her mane as though ready to yank it out by the roots. "The last time something this insane happened, the Dazzlings were involved. But they lost their powers. It'd take someone with the ability to warp reality to make a dragon-shifting potion and --"

Her eyes widened and went narrow. "DISCORD!"

"What?" Discord said as he appeared out of thin air, Flim and Flam and their wagon full of potion in tow. The two conponies looked about fearfully, unable to move thanks to being trapped in a giant bowl of chocolate ice cream. Discord skated on the surface as he said, "Oh, can't I have any fun any more?"

Session 88.18 Mtangalion

“Discord!” bellowed Twilight. Some ponies later said that the Royal Ponyville Voice was born that day. “I should have known it from the start! You can’t just go throwing pony-dragon relations into utter chaos…”

Princess Twilight trailed off. “Actually, I suppose you technically can. I mean, it’s kind of who you are…”

Discord did an exaggerated double-take, his jaw literally hitting the ground. Then he did it twice more in slow-motion from different camera angles (somehow). “Finally, somepony gets it! It’s adorable when the princess of being smart actually gets off her high horse and thinks for once.” A smaller Discord popped up behind Twilight, pinching her cheeks. “I mean, ponies and dragons are literally playing games and just having fun! It’s right there in the title. What more do you want?”

Twilight waved the smaller Discord away into a puff of smoke. “But isn’t all of this going too far? Rarity, how do you expect to run all your businesses if, even though you have the same age and experience, you’ve become a dragon child?”

Rarity gasped, taken aback, but then she smiled at Spike beside her, putting a small scaly arm around him. “For our dear Spike… I might actually consider giving all that up…”

Spike blushed so hot, the grass beneath his feet started smoldering.

Garble rested a claw on Spike’s opposite shoulder. “Dude, that’s like, disgustingly mushy. As a real, lava-blooded actual dragon, watching that made me want to puke!” He leaned closer and whispered in Spike’s ear, “Don’t ever let her go, bro.”

Twilight groaned, turning towards Granny Smith and her crew. “And you five! What is Equestria even going to look like in the future if elder ponies everywhere start turning into dragons instead of dying? Don’t you want to join your relatives who’ve already passed on some day, instead of going to…” She blinked. “Um, what’s the dragon version of heaven?”

Dragon Lord Ember shrugged. “Oh, Queen Tiamat never bothered telling anydragon, but I always imagined that there’s an endless lake of fire and brimstone!”

Applejack cringed. “Um, are ya sure about that? No disrespect, but that sounds kind of like, you know, the other place.”

But Garble was grinning and nodding along. “Lava that never cools off? Endless, so there’s no ugh, waiting or sharing?”

And Smolder sighed blissfully, imagining it too. “No cold toes, ever again!”

“Ahem!” shouted Flim, despairing of ever getting all the chocolate out of his coat and mane. “We’d just like to point something out.”

“You heard it from the draconequus’ own mouth!” chimed in Flam. “We’re completely innocent of turning ponies into actual dragons.”

“Really, now?” said Applejack. “Then you won’t mind giving back every bit you took in exchange for those potions!”

Discord clapped his mismatched paws together. “Let’s compromise!”

“I’m listening,” said Grand Pear in his stern taking-charge voice… though he hadn’t actually gotten to do as much of that as he would have liked.

“We’ve already got a real live wolfpony romping around.” Discord snapped his claws and Prince Blueblood appeared… naked, in a sudsy bathtub. He yelped, trying to cover himself, then ducked into the water and yipe-yipe-yiped! Soapy water splashed over everyone nearby as a huge white wolf bolted out of the tub and looked for a place to hide.

Unfazed, Discord continued, “I’ll just continue in that theme and change all of these new dragons into kirin!”

Princess Twilight raised a hoof. “Um, what do kirin have to do with this? I suppose they do have scales on their backs and a horn like a Chineighs dragon, but…”

Discord waved his arms. “No, no! Not those kirin. Dusklight kirin! Ponies that can transform into dragons at will! Or when they get angry or something... it hasn't really been consistent, but rules are boring, so I'm completely fine with that.” He snapped his fingers, and all the new dragons once again became five old ponies and one young mare… or were they? “Voila! Now I’ll use my chaos magic to make most ponies forget about Dusklight creatures again, and everything will be peachy!”

Applejack twitched. “Um… What do you mean ‘again?’”

Session 88.19 Ardashir

A few days had passed since the Day of the Dragons in Ponyville. Ember decided to stay on Twilight and Spike's invitation to see the pony holiday of Hearth's Warming. She just hoped that somedragon back home would hang her stocking by the door of her lair to see if the Krampus Dragon would fill it with coal for her Feast of Fire snack.

As well as engage in her first snowball fight and game of Capture the Flag.

"Bleah!" Ember spat snow from her mouth. Smolder, Spike, and Garble stood beside her, crouching behind the snow wall they'd made, AKA 'Fort Ice Dragon'. "Yuck! This is what ponies do for fun? Throw frozen water at each other?"

"I told you ponies were nuts," Garble muttered, looking over the wall at their opponents, Twilight, Applejack, and Starlight. As he did a massive purple-glowing snowball hit him in the face and knocked him flat.

Ember faceclawed in disgust. She stood up over her fallen subject.

"Ugh, Garble, be careful! Do you know how dumb you have to be to let yourself get hit --" More words were muffled when another massive snowball landed on her. Ember joined Garble on the ground, her furiously lashing tail the only sign of life.

"Ha!" Smolder pointed at the fallen Garble. His arms and legs stuck out from under Twilight's snowball. "That's the second best thing I've seen in days!" She pointed at Ember. "And that's the first! This is funnier than the time I told that story 'A Dream Come True' for the Feast of Fire."

"You mean the one about Scales and how she stole the Bloodstone Scepter from a 'feeble and kindly Dragon Lord'?" Spike ducked as one of Applejack's snowballs came by. He gulped as it hit a nearby mound of hard snow and sank onto it half a foot. "Uh, I think AJ may still be ticked off about the whole letting Granny Smith and her grand-aunts and Grand Pear stay as Dusklight kirin."

"Yeah, the Scales story," Smolder said. She began rolling a large snowball in her claws. "Even better? When I told that one, it was at a Feast of Fire meal hosted by Ember where she said she was gonna choose somedragon to go to the Friendship School. Ember said we could learn from the puny -- I mean, from the ponies. Everydragon laughed at the idea of becoming more like ponies. They laughed even more when told that story - and I looked right at Ember the whole time!" Smolder frowned and scratched her scaly chin. "Huh, I wonder if that's why she sent me?"

Spike opened his mouth to say something. Smolder shushed him and peered over the wall, hissed, "Here they come!"

A moment later the two dragons flew up and began hurling snowballs two-handed at the three approaching ponies. Twilight yelled and tried to shield her friends. Snowballs hurled by Spike struck both AJ and Starlight.

"Starlight! Applejack! Look out --" A snowball from Smolder hit her right in the eyes. She reared up and fell over backwards. Smolder cackled with glee.

"Sorry, headmistress, but dragons don't take prisoners!" She scowled, shaded her eyes and looked around. "Hey, Spike, where's your pony girlfriend? I thought she was playing too?"

"She is, Smolder, darling!" Smolder and Spike both wheeled at the call from behind, covering their faces. As they did their flag, a purple and gold yarn scarf, floated away in Rarity's magical grip. The elegant unicorn trotted away holding her scarf. "You four fought a good fight, but remember, tossing snowballs wasn't the point. Catching the Flag was. Er," Rarity looked around, "where are Ember and Garble, anyway?"

Fire shot up from one of the snow piles, melting it to reveal a soggy and annoyed Dragon Lord.

"I'm right here," Ember growled as she rose, shaking herself. Looking right at Smolder, she added, "And oh yes, Smolder? That story is why I sent you to the Friendship School. How're we dragons ever gonna be more than a bunch of scaly savages if we reward behavior like that?"

"Ah, what's wrong with being a bunch of scaly savages?" Smolder huffed and pointed at the other snow pile. "Garble likes it."

"Ugh!" Ember rolled her eyes and breathed fire on the pile. As it melted to reveal a crimson-scaled form, she said, "Garble wouldn't know his own tail from a hole in the ground."

Garble lay motionless, his eyes wide open. The dragons approached warily.

"Uh, Garble?" Spike poked at his leg. "You okay?"

"I had a vision!" Garble sat straight up and yelled his words. "Like, I was totally dead!"

"From the neck up, yeah," Ember grumbled as she helped him to his feet. "What 'vision' are you talking about?" She yelled when he suddenly grabbed her by the shoulders.

"I totally saw Dragon Paradise! Like, there was fire and lava everywhere, and these little weird-looking ponies with horns were giving me a back and butt massage with these great big forks they had," Garble said, sounding dreamy. "And right next to me was Scales the Traitor." Spike listened in disbelief, while Smolder just gave Ember a meaningful look and circled a claw alongside one horn.

Garble ignored them and said, "I remember yelling, 'This is great, I never thought I'd make it to Dragon Paradise', and Scales said something weird."

"Not that I care, but what?" Ember sighed.

"She said, 'You dummy, this isn't Heaven!'"

Session 88.20 Mtangalion

'Welcome back to THE LEGEND OF GRIZELDA, noble adventurer!'

'Your last save was seven months, twelve days ago. Continue?'

'Now entering RIVERSIDE CATACOMBS, floor 1!'

Gerold the griffon dropped through a skylight and made a heroic two claws and one paw landing, thumping straight down onto the stone floor of the dungeon, and only then rising up and dramatically spreading his wings. His blue feathers and dark fur clashed a bit with the required green hero outfit, and a few of his white crest feathers peeked out from under his jaunty green cap.

He held that pose for five whole seconds before he collapsed and squawked in pain, massaging his ankles. “Who did they make this game for, hatchlings? I don’t care how cool it looks, I’m not doing that again!”

Gerold brushed some of the dust from his feathers, frowning as he looked around the enchanted comic game world. “Seven months, huh? Sheesh, I barely even remember what I was doing before.” He raised his clenched talons. “But I have to grab more treasure than Gilda and prove I can be a good provider for her!” He grinned, padding onwards. “And I looks like I made it to this dungeon first!”

Around a corner, Gerold found a dark hall with many side passages, split by a chasm with whistling winds below. A stone glowed mystically, and a ghostly wizard appeared… this game’s version of fourth-wall-breaking, hint-giving NPCs. “Hail, noble bzzt-error-unknown pony! If you were a pegasus, you could fly over this gap and be that much closer to the treasure. Alas, you must now traverse the fiery pits of doom!”

Gerold blinked, glanced left then right, then shrugged his wings and easily flew over the gap.

Another ghostly wizard popped up, following him. “Well done, unknown-tribe pony! But the second challenge awaits!”

Gerold snorted, romping on ahead. “Oh yeah, I’m shaking in my pawprints here…” The next chamber had a barrier of… savage pony-eating plants?

The wizard caught up. “Wait! Listen! It’s a pity you’re not an earth pony, adventurer, for then you could command these plants to move aside with your magic…”

Gerold laughed. “Seriously?” He tried to draw his magic sword to chop the carnivorous plants to bits, but it was stuck in its scabbard… he couldn’t enter combat mode near the plants. “First rule of designing games for griffons... Violence is always an option!” He smacked a fist into a palm, then bashed the plants and tore them out by the roots.

“Error, err-err-error condition not found,” said the next ghost, glitching through his animations. “If you were a unicorn pony, you could retrieve the tiny glass key from this pool of water and unlock the gate yourself, but since you are a pony of the bzzt-unknown tribe, your only hope is to rescue the kind faerie held captive by…”

Gerold unlocked the gate with his nimble claws and bounded towards the treasure room, leaving the ghost talking to an empty room. “I guess it’s like King Grover says in the stories. If dweebs wanna underestimate you, let ‘em!”

Session 88.21 Ardashir

"A-hahaha! Feeble pilots of Pone-tron!" Hydia the Witch, servant of King Grogar, cackled with glee as she held up a glittering multi-colored jewel. The remaining SeaPony Guard, who pursued her along with the heroic Pone-tron pilots, started firing their crossbows -- I mean blasters.

"But they're obviously crossbows!" The Pone-tron armored and visiting Ember hissed. "Even I can tell that!"

Twilight, also in Pone-tron armor, hissed back at her, "Not now! And I told you, this thing has some -- funny editing."

Hydia soughed. "May I continue?" Ember rolled her eyes. Twilight just nodded. Hydia cackeld anew and said, "In this I have taken the souls of the Sea Pony race! And with it I, the Maker of Monsters, shall create this! Clawbeast, arise!"

Behind her a mighty aquatic monster began to rise from the sea! A mass of tentacles, scales, and rasping suckers, created from the nightmares of the entire Sea Pony race! Its entire form was studded with pleading and begging Sea Ponies, subsumed into its monstrous mass, but thankfully they were all robots and not real ponies at all.

It lashed out at the blaster-wielding Sea Guard, absorbing them harmlessly into its mass. Sure, it looked like they were crushed into pulp, but believe me, they were absorbed!

"Huh?" Ember blinked. "But they were killed, we saw it! And we can see those aren't robots!"

"Editing!" Twilight said. Ember snorted smoke but yielded as Twilight stepped forward, backed up by Ember, Spike, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie.

"Hold it right there, Hydia!" Twilight said. Her horn glowed as she summoned the five giant robotic GoPonies. "With these we'll defeat your latest monster and save the Sea Ponies -- EMBER!"

"Hey!" Hydia snarled at the Dragon Lord flying at her. "What do you think you're doing -- AHHH!" Flame washed over Hydia, spilling from Ember's jaws. It vanished to reveal a pile of ashes. Ember reached down, picked up the Soul Gem and crushed it. The monster immediately went 'poof' as the you-only-thought-they-were-dead Sea Ponies reappeared around them.

"Geeze, Ember!" Dash waved a hoof under the dragon's nose and pouted. "Ya cost us the big monster battle, that's the best part of these comics!"

"So what?" Ember walked away from the pile of ashes. "We were supposed to save the Sea Ponies and get rid of that old witch, and we did!"

Spike flapped over. "Ember, I don't know how to say this, but these kind of stories have certain, er, expectations? And when ponies play these Enchanted Comics they sorta want ta play through those things." He pointed behind her, "Also, you can't really kill anyone in these translations. Look and see."

"A-hahaha, I have survived!" Hydia stood right beside the pile of ashes. "That was only an illusion! But, ah I am temporarily defeated," she started backing away as a snarling Ember stepped towards her, fire spilling from her open mouth, "so I'll be back with another monster next time!" Hydia vanished into a cloud of smoke.

"Okay, she was DEAD!" Ember yelled, shaking a clawed fist after her. "What the," a sound like jingling bells came from her muzzle. She blinked and felt her mouth. "What in the --?"

"Yeah," Dash said. "You really can't use any of those words, either."

"Uh, guys?" Pinkie held up a bucket filled with crystals. "Since Hydia turned the Sea Pony Queen into a statue and shattered her, how do we get her back?"

"Oh, she'll be okay!" One of the saved Sea Ponies said. "We'll just assemble her pieces and she'll be as good as new!"

"You mean like Princess Amore?" Spike scratched his chin. "Hey, whatever happened with all that?"

"If we do this again, I want something for adults, not hatchlings," Ember folded her arms across her chest as she groused.

Pinkie nudged Dashie and whispered. "Think we should tell her about Devil Mare and Legend of the OverNightmare? She might like those."

"Eh," Dashie shrugged. "I think she and Thorax have the whole tentacle thing covered."

Session 88.22 Ardashir

Occasionally when Sunburst visited the Friendship Palace, he, Starlight, Trixie, and Twilight would engage in a game of Dragon Pit. Complete with the costumes.

Unfortunately, this was the first time they'd done so while Ember paid an unexpected visit.

"Ember! We can explain!" Twilight looked round at her friends. "Uh, sort of."

"Really?" Ember scowled, smoke rising from her muzzle. She folded her arms and leaned against the wall. Her voice would have made liquid helium sound warm. "Please do so."

"Explain! Yes," Twilight looked around. Starlight and Sunburst were looking skyward, innocent looks on their faces. Trixie seemed to be suddenly interested in being somewhere else as she backed towards the door. Twilight swallowed heavily. "It's an old pony game. You p-play, er, a greedy dragon.." Ember's frown grew deeper, "and you play against the other dragons to see who lays sole claim to the hoard." Twilight gulped as she remembered the Diamond Dog game problems. "Really, it was done before ponykind knew much of anything about dragons."

"Really?" Ember smiled and walked over. "It sounds to me that you know quite a bit about dragons. Hey, having and fighting over a hoard is part of what makes a dragon a dragon! Speaking on behalf of my race, we're honored ponies get one of our most basic ideas."

"It is?" Twilight blinked and relaxed. "Phew. I thought we were in trouble --" She stopped as Ember set a claw over her muzzle.

"But LOSE the costumes," Ember snorted pink fire. "I mean, honestly, who dresses like a dragon to play a game? Dragons don't dress like ponies to play games."

And down the hall:

"Okay, so I invite all my friends to a tea party and provide gifts. Is that good?" Smolder looked anxious as she pushed the fake unicorn horn back up on her head. A long fake pony tail lay behind her, dangling from the chair she sat in. The lacy and frilly dress she wore rustled as she leaned forward over the Crystals & Rainbows books, including one she'd bought herself. She held it up. "I mean, we are using the optional rules from 'Parties & Promenades', right?"

Spike rolled his eyes and adjusted his own fake horn and pony tail. At least he'd been able to argue his way out of the dress. "Normally it wouldn't be enough, but with those new rules? Yeah, it works just fine." As Smolder clapped her claws in glee, Spike folded his arms and grumped. "Yeesh, I'm starting to hate these new splatbooks."

Author's Note

This chapter needs cover art!

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?
What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 88.0 Alex Warlorn
Session 88.1 Alex Warlorn and ItsFromPeople (and Ardashir?)
Session 88.2 Ardashir
Session 88.3 Kendell2
Session 88.4 Kendell2
Session 88.5 Mtangalion
Session 88.6 Ardashir
Session 88.7 Mtangalion
Session 88.8 Mtangalion Ardashir Alex Warlorn Kendell2
Session 88.9 Ardashir
Session 88.10 Kendell2
Session 88.11 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 88.12 Kendell2
Session 88.13 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 88.14 Ardashir
Session 88.15 Mtangalion
Session 88.16 Alex Warlorn (So long and thanks for all the love.)
Session 88.17 Ardashir
Session 88.18 Mtangalion
Session 88.19 Ardashir
Session 88.20 Mtangalion
Session 88.21 Ardashir
Session 88.22 Ardashir

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Picture by used with permission.

THIS CHAPTER NEEDS COVER ART!

Session 89

Session 89.0 Mtangalion

“YES! Item level 320!” shouted Smolder, as she equipped her new crafted cloak. On the computer screen, her orange and purple griffon fire mage struck a confident pose and did the “claws up” emote. “Now, can we finally go kick Lavan’s gooey molten butt already?”

Spike chuckled, logging into his own character on the next workstation over. “According to the guide Twilight wrote, yeah, looks like that’ll do it!” His griffon warrior was purple furred and feathered, with a bright green crest and tail tuft. So what if Gallus burst out laughing when he saw it? At least nocreature would mix this one up with Spike the Dog’s earth pony mare, Purple Pup.

“Well then, come on!” said Smolder, grinning from ear to ear. “I’ve gotta see if there’s more lovey-dovey cutscenes with Garble the Dragon Brawler and Ember! Make sure to cast the magic recording spell.”

“Magic spell... right...” said Spike, tapping the hotkey to start recording video.

“Gear, check… Spells, check!” The dungeon queue popped, and Smolder mashed the Start button repeatedly. “Make sure you don’t mess up, Spike! I don’t want to have to spend any of this treasure on repairs. We’re gonna show all those humans playing this game what real dragons can do!”

Spike waggled a claw. “Actually, they won’t know anything! That’s the beauty of it. On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dragon.”

Smolder blinked. “I don’t get it…” She smirked. “Whatever! Less talk, more lava elemental smashing!”  

Session 89.1 Ardashir

"Wait a minute, Smolder, where did you get the bits for that book anyway?" Spike thrust a scaly thumb over one shoulder at the wall of Smolder's room. There lay a pile of brand-new Crystals & Rainbows books. "Or them?"

"Oh, that?" Smolder grinned, got up and sauntered over to her closet. "I and the other dragons heard about your arrangement with those wallet manufacturers, selling them your old molts? So I decided to start selling them mine." She opened the door. Shadows played over what looked like a hollowed-out young teen dragon dangling inside, her scales looking tattered and dark when compared to Smolder's currently soft and shiny set of scales. The mouth hung open and her empty eye sockets stared at nothing. "Gotta hand it to you, Spike, no dragon would have thought of selling their old skin before this."

"Okay, now I know why Twi keeps asking me to keep my molts somewhere else." Spike shuddered at the sight of a flayed dragoness. "That's just creepy and -- hey!" He glared at Smolder. Flying into the air, he looked her right in her very amused face. "That's why I've been getting paid less for my molts this past year!"

"Yep." Smolder folded her arms smiled smugly. She reached inside the closet and lightly poked her old skin. "With how well I get fed here, I've already molted three times. Maybe you should talk to your girlfriend Rarity about it," Smolder looked at her frilly dress and sighed. "Maybe she can make clothes from dragon scales."

"Rarity probably could, especially now." Spike scratched his chin as a new worry hit him. "Uh, you said something about 'you and the other dragons'. Which ones?"

At a shop in Canterlot.

"You okay in there, lady?" One of the two stripe-maned unicorns called as his mustached partner counted the bits.

"I -- will be -- in just a minute," Princess Ember's grunts and growls came from behind a privacy screen that displayed nothing but a silhouette of a sleek dragoness pulling sometiing tight and form-fitting away from herself. With a final grunt of effort she removed it. Ember stepped out from behind the screen. Her scales looked shiny and new, and she handed over what looked like an emptied-out Ember suit. "There! Remember, forty bits to the yard, you said Mister, what is it, Skim?"

"That we do, my fine scaly sovereign," The unicorn with the mustache said as he handed a bag of bits over. "Skim and Scam of Equestrian Dragonhide Unlimited thanks you and hopes you remember us for your next transaction."

The two unicorns waited until Ember flew away. As she did 'Skim' and 'Scam' exchanged a high hoof.

"One more dragon hide for wallets and clothes to sell to the upper crust, Flim!" Flam brought over a potion bottle. He put the dragon hide in a machine hidden behind another privacy screen. It ground through and came out the other side, missing only a few scales. As it did a thin stream of blue liquid dripped into the potion bottle. He bottled it and handed it over.

"Indeed, brother dear, and more dragon essence for a surprisingly profitable sideline business!" Flim said as he checked out the mailing list. "Better hurry up and sell these transforming potions before the Princesses outlaw another business opportunity of ours!" He chuckled. "Making friends with that lunatic Discord was one of the smartest things we ever did."

Session 89.2 Mtangalion

Sandbar gaped at all the workstations that had been installed in the “Friendship Dungeon” beneath Headmare Twilight’s castle, mesmerized by all the whirring sounds and blinking lights. “Are you serious, Professor Pie? We can really play games with creatures from another world in here?”

Professor Pie giggled. “Of course I’m not Serious, I’m Pinkie! And setting all this up was super easy, barely an inconvenience… at least, if you’re Twilight, which is lucky because Twilight is the pony who did it!” She pronked across the room, pointing. “Those cables there, there, there, there, and there go upstairs to the portal, and the magic box there talks to the magic box on the other side, even when the portal’s only open a teensy-weensy crack!”

Sandbar could see it all in his mind’s eye… somehow. Princess Twilight, wearing a plain coverall with a cute ponytail… only she wasn’t a pony, she was a weird biped like an Abyssinian. She installed a magic box full of crystals and gadgets in the base of… a big pony statue? And a weird biped Rainbow Dash repaired the statue super-fast, while a weird biped Applejack buried a network cable with super strength, digging with her bare… hands?

Pinkie Pie bounced right into Sandbar’s face again, popping the thought balloon. “Celestia… human principal Celestia, I mean, not pony princess Celestia obviously...  was happy to take care of the boring human stuff like Internet access and money and paperwork, since we literally saved the human world like five or six times! Long story!”

Sandbar smirked. “Just one more question… when can I play one of these ‘computers?’”

Pinkie beamed at him. “I’ll put you on the signup list right away! There’s just a few little things that Twilight’s taking care of before we give access to more creatures!”

Princess Twilight stood in a stuffy, formal office in the human world, wishing that she’d asked the human version of Rarity to loan her something besides her very purple high school outfit with the mini-skirt and knee-high socks. “So, um…”

“Princess,” said the pale-skinned human facing her, sounding like he was putting some warmth into his voice only with a practiced effort. He had a black goatee and long swept back hair, and he wore a dark business suit with wide lapels, and some kind of official badge on a red ribbon. “I’m Senior Agent Neighsay, and let me just say first that while you’re free to leave at any time, I hope that you’ll stay to discuss certain matters.”

Twilight took a deep breath, reminding herself again not to assume, just because she knew this person’s pony counterpart. The staff at “Crystalsoft” was certainly proof of how different pony-human pairs could be. “Certainly! What would you like to talk about?”

Neighsay smiled thinly. “There’s so many things we could talk about, Princess. Undocumented immigrants… High school students with super-powers… Extradimensional threats to world security… I’m a man who appreciates proper procedure… doing things by the book. And sadly, there is no procedure for any of this. It’s time we made new procedures.”

He paced a bit, hands clasped behind his back. “To begin with… You’ve borrowed a great deal of scientific knowledge and technology from us. Isn’t it time you started sharing your knowledge of magic with humankind? We could also coordinate on dealing with future magical threats.”

Princess Twilight sighed, tugging at her skirt a bit. “That’s fair. Actually, I’d hoped to be the one to initiate a dialog like this someday, but it looks like this day came sooner than I expected.” She tilted her head to one side. “I have to say, you’re surprisingly well informed.”

Neighsay tugged on his lapels. “Don’t underestimate us, Princess. We have our methods.” He gestured towards a door. “Step through here, Princess. Agent Inkwell will go over a list we’ve prepared.”

Once Twilight left the room, another young woman stepped forward, wearing a surprisingly gaudy outfit for a government agent, complete with colorful plastic sunglasses. Neighsay nodded to her. “Outstanding work, Agent Moth.”

Agent Moth grinned. “I can’t take all the credit, sir. The reconnaissance mission was child’s play, once I learned that my Equestrian counterpart is a changeling.”

Session 89.3 Mtangalion

Princess Twilight Sparkle settled into one of the many big comfy chairs in the Friendship Gaming Academy teachers’ lounge. The view through the tall, lightly-frosted windows made her smile… Gallus and Smolder were making an aerial snowball bombing run on “General Yona’s” best yak ice fort.

“What a wonderful morning for grading homework papers!” said Twilight brightly, and unlike anyone else teaching at her school, she meant it. One of the maids offered her a cup of hot cocoa. “Thanks!”

“Mistress Twilight’s welcome, it’s no trouble at all,” said an unexpected but familiar voice.

Twilight nearly spat hot cocoa everywhere. “Alisa!” She glared at the mischievous diamond wolf. “I’d almost forgotten you were around.”

Alisa winked. “All according to plan!” She was actually complying with the new school rules for once and not wearing a costume. Well, not a magical costume. She WAS wearing the Prench maid outfit from her days with ‘Mistress Rarity.’ “Alisa’s been clever and sneaky, she’s brought latest spy reports from human world.” She waggled a claw. “Fair’s fair, since they spy on us!”

"You don't need to do that." Twilight sighed. “That said, with everything we’ve done to keep tabs on your wolves and the reformed changelings… and the bad changelings who actually mean us harm and aren’t just out to prank us… you’d think we’d would have spotted the human Neighsay’s undercover agent in a flash. But with so many different creatures here at the school, and more arriving all the time…”

Alisa pulled a thick manila folder out of a carry bag with her teeth, tossed it onto Twilight’s desk, and opened it to the first sheet… which featured a photograph of a colorful changeling sneaking into the portal room.

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “That doesn’t prove anything. We’ve had a rash of creatures visiting the human world first and asking forgiveness later. Twenty-three this month alone. Although…” She rubbed her chin with a hoof. “If the agent is a changeling, he or she will be that much harder to spot…”

Alisa simply turned to the next page, pointing out a photograph of ‘Rainbow Dash’... in the castle library… seeming fascinated by the thick dusty history book she was reading.

Twilight twitched. “But, that’s my library. You can’t expect me to have tight security there… I mean, that’s not even the locked and warded room where I keep the restricted spellbooks. Libraries are sacred places of vital public knowledge!”

Alisa just kept grinning smugly. “Human was extra sneaky, she knows how to play game. So, wolves return favor.” She pulled out a photograph of… was that Alisa herself, as a human?! Short pale-skinned girl wearing a fur-lined jacket, with small but pronounced canine teeth and strands of soft gray hair escaping a hoodie with cutesy wolf ears?

“Make that twenty-*four* unapproved visits.” Twilight took a deep breath. “You realize, we don’t *need* to spy on the humans in their own world? We already have plenty of human friends who can tell us whatever we need to know.”

Alisa pulled out a photograph of an imposing public office… the secure facility where Senior Agent Neighsay had interviewed her, and then more photographs of the interior halls, with no escorting guards in sight. “What if humans were holding ponies captive, doing secret experiments? Twilight would want to know, yes?”

Princess Twilight had a moment of panic. “Are they actually… !?”

Alisa shook her head, ears flicking in amusement. “No. But what if humans stole secret magic artifacts!?”

Twilight blinked at the latest picture, of a very shiny object surrounded by scientific instruments and some kind of laser fence. “Wait, is that Celestia’s missing golden hoofshoe? We looked all over Ponyville for that thing after her visit.”

Alisa pricked her ears up. “Is it magic hoofshoe that summons tempest, turns enemy to soap bubbles, predicts future?”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “No… I’m pretty sure it’s just a hoofshoe. Celestia has a closet full of them.” Now it was her turn to smirk. “Sorry, but it looks like your big spy mission was a bust.”

The diamond wolf wagged her tail. “Alisa wouldn’t say that.” She spread out a half dozen selfies of her human form and… another Alisa? The human world’s actual native Alisa?! Every picture was the two of them having fun trying on different crazy costumes from the human Alisa’s shop. “Alisa’s got so many new ideas, enough for whole rest of year! Enjoy tea!”

“Huh…” mused Twilight, watching her pad away. “I wonder what she meant by… Huh?”

Twilight realized that instead of her magic, she was holding her teacup with a purple-furred paw. “Alisa! Get your fuzzy behind back here! I’m serious, Alisa! What did you put in my tea?” She bolted out of her chair and slipped everywhere on unfamiliar paws, falling over with a doggy whine. “Ugh, at least tell me how long this potion lasts!”

Session 89.4 Kendell2

"Bonbon, you do realize the food in the game isn't something we can actually EAT, right?" asked Patch, noting Bonbon had actually gone out and ground some random monsters in the time Rarity sweet talked the shop clerk to buy food with.

"It's in character for my Barbarian!" Bonbon replied.

"Plus it means Bonbon leveled up, so she's a better asset to the team," Twilight replied. "And we DO need food..."

"Just don't eat all of it," replied Patch.

"Don't worry, darling, my monk is carrying out saddle bags," Rarity replied.

"And I got some money going along as a healer to buy other supplies," Fluttershy said. Bonbon offered a high hoof and Fluttershy gave a small smile, returning it.

"Alright, darlings, I was able to get some information from the shop keeper. Anypony else have anything?" asked Rarity as the group met back up.

"The Vice Mayor is still stuck in the basement," said Applejack.

"But Clover did get some information out of other ponies there," Sweetheart informed.

"I wasn't trying to, I just got really good rolls..." Clover replied.

"You're on fire," Shining replied. "In all honesty if we weren't using my perfectly balanced regulation O&O dice, I'd wonder if they were defective." Clover blushed a bit at that.

"We got a map of the area," Bright Eyes informed.

"We got some stuff out of the guys at the bar, not sure how useful it'll be," Melody replied.

While the group naturally knew everything, their characters didn't so they had to exchange information at the meet up.

"According to the shop keeper, most of the Orcs in the area are working with Losvir Di Gemuth. One because they don't want to get eaten, and two the area being covered in smog makes their activities easier," Rarity explained. "So the Orcs may know where his lair is."

"Huh, one of the adventurers at the bar said there was an Orc clan living at somewhere called Rugged Ravine," said Melody. "Patch tried to steal the map to it, which is how the whole barfight thing happened."

"In my defense, the guy was also very rude to the bartender," said Patch.

"Okay, so we just need to find the location on the map," said Twilight.

Once the proper checks were done, they had the location...

"So, only question is are we prepared to take on an entire Orc camp head on," Rarity asked.

Session 89.5 Ardashir

Ember had once more taken some time off from her duties as Dragon Lord to visit Ponyville. Firstly, to see how her subject Smolder was doing.

Secondly, to find out about this 'Ogres & Oubliettes' that Smolder spoke about.

"So..." Ember said, looking at the little lead figurine she'd been given. Her tongue flicked out, licked at it. "This is supposed to be me? It's a pony!"

"Ah, no, Ember," Twilight said, sitting in as GM. Normally one of the Student Six handled this when they played, but when Twilight learned about Ember's visit she decided to try heading off any more problems by doing it herself. "It represents your character in the game. An Earth pony fighter." Better to start with something nice and simple.

Ember blinked in confusion. "An Earth pony? Those are the ones with no real powers, right?" Her eyes lit up. "Is this some pony way of teaching me that even weaklings can manage to do something once in a while?"

"Hey!" Sandbar snorted and stood up. "We're not weak, you -- er," he broke off when Ember glared at him. Behind her back Smolder waved her claws frantically in a gesture of 'don't say it!' "I mean, we can do lots of things."

"Yes, like pull carts and plow fields," Ember said with a smoky snort.

"And grow gems for dragons," Sandbar couldn't help snapping.

Ember licked her lips. "Right. That too." She looked at the figure. "I guess this is okay."

Twilight relaxed. "Phew. Okay! Now then, students, this time you'll be adventuring into a -- uhhh..." She looked at the module's cover and gulped. "Heh! Maybe we should try something different." Twilight began setting it away, but Ember snatched it in her claws.

"Wait, I'm not good enough for this one? I --" She froze as she saw the cover. It showed a party of pony and griffon adventurers plundering a dragon's hoard. The dragon it belonged to lay slain nearby, slashed, spell-blasted, and with a goofy expression on its lifeless face.

"Now, Ember," Twilight began speaking, raising her voice to be heard over the Dragon Lord's rising growl. All the students but Smolder hurriedly cleared the table as Twilight added, "This was done long before ponies knew anything about dragons. They,we, just thought of you as greedy town-destroying monsters. Mistakenly!"

"Barbarians!" Ember snapped, unaffected by the apology. She pointed at the cover art. "Is this how you show us? I demand to know who's responsible. I want their apology in person! This makes dragons look like we're overgrown scaly vandals and robbers!"

"Eh," Smolder shrugged. "It's not like dragons don't kill each other for their hoards. Or used ta," she quickly added as Ember scowled at her.

"It's only a game!" Twilight said, charging her horn in case she needed to use magic. "No one takes this seriously any more! Besides, what effect do you think it could have on anypony?"

Just at that moment Spike strolled in. "So!" He smiled and slapped his scaly claws together. "This the day we take down that rotten dragon? I was figuring, we stab him in his sleep and..." His voice trailed off as he noticed just WHO was at the table. "Heh, hi Ember. Hear any of that?"

Twilight just facehoofed and groaned as Ember jumped up atop the table and, with a roar, incinerated the module. Looks like it's time to tell Shiny to get those gamer lawyer friends of his again. Not another lawsuit!

Session 89.6 Mtangalion

Another day, another herd of young creatures waiting in line to play Pyro’s Dragon Adventure. Somehow, Princess Twilight’s enchanted comic conversion had turned an ancient Fillystation game into the talk of Ponyville…

Sweetie Belle was adapting surprisingly well to being a young dragoness with pearlescent scales and lovely purple wings and spines. Except for the no-flying part. She flapped with all her might, rising a few feet, only to plop back down to the ground, exhausted. “Why do I even have these wings if they don’t work?!”

Scootaloo the purple and orange dragoness jabbed a claw towards her. “NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS!”

Behind them, a herd of terrified sheep and gnorcs ran past, with a charging Dragoness Bloom in hot pursuit. Then all the NPCs went flying, dropping gems and dragonfly snacks.

Scootaloo watched, blinking. “I think you’re supposed to headbutt them.”

“What’s wrong with bucking?” asked Apple Bloom, trotting over and flopping on the grass beside them.

“You mean kicking,” said Sweetie brightly. She lifted a hindfoot and wiggled clawed toes. “Creatures with feet don’t buck, they kick.”

Bloom made a face. “Ugh, don’t make this any more complicated. Ah can’t figure how dragons put up with having all these extra limbs and toes and things all the time.” She pulled a sack out of nowhere and poured out the gems she’d collected. “Let’s see, I’ve got one hundred and fifty-eight gems… that includes forty-six reds, twelve purples…”

Princess Twilight beamed, watching her number-one assistant sort the morning mail into a small pile of actual letters, and a large pile of junk mail, which he incinerated. “What fresh new challenges does the world have for us today, Spike? A letter from Celestia? New creatures wanting to attend our school?”

Spike opened one of the letters and read quickly. “Uh oh. Try a cease and desist letter.”

Twilight frowned. “Is this about the enchanted comic game conversions? Which company complained?”

Spike pulled several more letters out of the pile. “I think it might be all of them…”

Session 89.7 Ardashir

[OOC: Starting something based on Alex's idea here: https://www.deviantart.com/alexwarlorn/status/16044293

"Twilight?" Sunset Shimmer walked into Twi's lab, looking around for her. "Are you here? I was hoping we could get back together in World of Horsecraft and look in on that new Revenge of Tirek expansion." She chuckled. "I have to admit, those cut scenes of the romance between the Dragon Lord Ember and that brawler Garble just get better and better. That and I've been hearing some really weird stories from the other gamers..." Her voice trailed off. She heard a TV playing, which was odd enough, but was Twilight singing along with it?

Moving stealthily, Sunset walked to the corner from where the sounds were coming. She looked around and froze -- as she stifled a laugh.

Sci-Twi was sitting in front of her old television, a bored-looking Spike near her. Twilight was watching the screen, where what looked like someone in a happy and goofy-looking blue Siren costume (like the yellow one she'd seen at the amusement park) was singing along with an audience of what looked like hypnotized children:

"Good is better than bad!"
"Happy's better than sad!"
"Want advice? Just be nice! Good is better than bad!"

Twilight chirped the song along with the Siren as a disbelieving Sunset watched. As it ended, the Siren turned to her audience and said in a very familiar voice, "That's it for today on the show. Remember, I'm Sonata the Singing Siren, and I'll be your friend as long as you keep tuning in!" She waved one clawed flipper at the screen and the show ended.

"Oh, Sonata," Twilight turned the TV off and sighed. Spike mimed gagging as she leaned back. "It's such a happy, innocent, trusting show. How could anyone be opposed to it?"

"Other than anyone with good taste, ya mean?" Spike grumbled as he headed for the kitchen. "Guess I gotta fill my own food bowl again. Oh, hi, Sunset." He walked past her and to the fridge.

Twilight turned and saw Sunset standing there, looking amused. "Sunset! I was, ah, just checking on current TV programming for a paper in social studies, and, ah --" She shook her head. :"What's the use? I'm in love with that Singing Siren show."

"Whatever you like is your business, Twilight," Sunset shook her head and laughed. "Everything seems a little strange right now, anyway. You should hear the stories going around on the Horsecraft fan sites about people chatting in Skype with the in-game characters -- a snarky griffon, a bubbly hippogriff, and some orange dragon."

"What?" Twilight blinked. "Seriously?"

"Supposedly." Sunset shrugged and pointed at the TV. "I just hope it's not really Sonata doing that show. We beat the Dazzlings twice; I hope it doesn't become a yearly event."

"Oh, please, Sunset," Twilight laughed as she got up and turned the television off. "Can you imagine Sonata or the Sirens being nice? With children?"

***

"I love this show!" Sonata said back in her dressing room as she removed her costume Siren head. She sat back in her plush chair -- a gift from the executives to the star of their best-rated show. She clapped her hands at the sight of a pile of letters on her dressing room makeup table. "Aww! More letters from the kids! Aria, Adagio, isn't this great?"

The goofy-looking yellow Siren removed her head to reveal Adagio with her hair all crumpled.

"Oh, yes, little sister," she choked the words out. "I can't BEGIN to tell you how p-p-prou, BLEAGH!" Adagio shuddered and made a horrible face. "How proud I am of you. There, I said it! Now ever ask me to say those words to you again!"

Aria, her costume beside her, smiled as she looked at her check for this week. "Heh! Between the marketing, the merchandising, and what we're still getting for sales of that 'A Very Windy Christmas Special' DVD that you did the vocals for, I think we're making more money here than when we worked at Crystalsoft." Aria smiled -- genuinely smiled -- at Sonata. "I have to hand it to you, sis. I thought this was the most idiotic idea you ever came up with, but it's working. So far."

"Yeah, isn't it great?" Sonata hugged both her sisters. Adagio gritted her teeth as Sonata said, "I always knew people would love my songs when I got to sing them. Hey, maybe we can talk Mister Flim and Flam into doing more holiday specials!" Sonata all but skipped out of the room. Aria followed her, stopping at the door.

"Hey, 'Dagi, don't make your boss wait too long," Aria snickered as she walked away. "She might replace you."

Adagio just glared after her sisters, pleasant fantasies involving things like poison and starving hogs running through her mind. She glanced at the laptop in the corner and came to a decision.

Maybe it was time for an anonymous tipster to warn Sunset and her troublemaking friends about this, after all.

***

"So that's how you get past those guards on the Nightmare's castle!" Silverstream touched one claw to the screen of her computer; that voice-to-text thing with the linked translation spell from Headmistress Twilight was such a help! "Hey, thanks, Norman!"

"Uh, sure," the brown-haired human boy on the other side of both the screen and reality itself said. He touched the screen where Silverstream did. He wished again that he dared ask just who at Crystalsoft was behind all these 'gamers' who were creatures from the setting and who chatted with everyone on Skype, but so far everyone seemed to agree that it'd kill the fun. "Hey, you take care too, Silver. Be seeing you and the other 'Friendship School' students for that big raid tomorrow."

Silverstream smiled at him -- how did you smile with a beak? -- and signed off. Norman sat back and thought.

"If it wasn't totally nuts, sometimes I could almost think she was real."

Session 89.8 Mtangalion

(Kingdom Hearts related, but no spoilers for Kingdom Hearts III… I’m still playing through it. :) )

“Where are we?” An earth pony colt trotted out of the Everfree Forest at a relaxed pace. With his brown coat and spiky lighter brown mane, he resembled an older Button Mash, or maybe Button’s big brother, but he wore a black and red outfit with numerous belts and zippered pouches, and his cutie mark was a golden heart outline with a key. A tiny silver crown hung from the chain around his neck.

“It looks like Ponyville,” mused the older Sweetie Belle following after him. She, too, looked like she’d just escaped from one of Discord’s live action O&O games, with her blue-ribboned cloak and bladed hoofshoes. She smiled. “Don’t you think so, Button?”

Button Mash gasped, looking every which way for threats. “Then, we’re home? Is Herd Seven here!?”

“Of course it’s not home, doofus,” said the older Rumble bringing up the rear. He was wearing a dark overcoat bearing an emblem made of many nested whorls. “Think about it. The sun is out, for one thing.” The young pegasus landed and pointed towards the Everfree Forest. “No Castle Nightmare, see?” Then he gestured towards Ponyville, pointing out the towering crystal castle, and the other building near it that stood nearly as tall. “I don’t recognize those either.”

“Oh… Right!” Button scratched the neck of his neck sheepishly. “So it’s a different Ponyville?” He blinked, then trotted in place excitedly. “Say, remember the time we found another Button, Sweetie, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom in the forest? What if this is their Ponyville? I always wondered what happened to those guys.”

Amused, Sweetie lifted her hoof, and a keyblade flashed into existence. “Hrrm… it’s close, but I don’t think so.” She took the keyblade in her magic and trotted down the path into town, with her friends following. “If there were here, I’d be able to feel their connection with our hearts with Heartsong. Actually… huh. I’m not sensing any Heartless or Nobody activity in this world.”

Rumble blinked. “None at all? Then why did our path lead here?”

Button rubbed his chin with a hoof, deep in thought, for him. “I’ve got it! We’re in a fun and games world, like Whinney Land Town! There’ll be a race somewhere and all kinds of minigames and prizes to win!”

Rumble facehoofed. “Seriously?”

“Hey, heroes need a break now and then too!” They were approaching the tall buildings, so Button flagged down the first creature they came across, a weirdly bright blue griffon. “Hey, you! Are there any fun games to play around here?”

The griffon twitched his wings, eyebrows raised. “You’re kidding, right?” He pointed a claw. “You’re only standing in front of *the* Friendship Gaming Academy.” He leaned closer, squinting at Button and his friends. “Do I know you ponies from somewhere?” He shrugged it off. “Anyway, I wouldn’t bother Headmare Twilight right now. She’s in a tizzy about those lawyers saying that nocreature is allowed to have any fun.”

Rumble startled the griffon by summoning his own keyblade. “Lawyers! I see...  Perhaps there’s evil to fight in this world after all!”

Session 89.9 Grogar-the-oneser  (edited by Kendell2) Epilogue to the sick Alicorn Hasbro short.

"Darling, it's not as if we're not thankful for what you did... but did you have to turn Twilight into a baby?" Rarity questioned.

"What Rarity mean is, HAVE YOU GONE INSANE?!" Rainbow Dash snapped.

Zecora quirked an eyebrow.

"Right, you weren't there during Flurry Heart's rampage so you probably think we're going crazy..." Rainbow Dash muttered.

"Maybe we're overreacting," Applejack stated. "Maybe it won't be as bad as Flurry's out of control magic."

"AHHH!!!" everypony in Ponyville screamed as houses were floating and twirling around, being stacked on top of each other as Twilight giggled.

"Ohh that's not good," Spike gulped, regretting having suggested they should play with blocks.

"... But just in case, how long till she's her proper age?" Applejack asked

"When the clock strikes three, returned to normal she shall be," Zecora stated.

Session 89.10 Kendell2

"Aww, we're not going straight to the Orc camp?" asked Patch.

"Bon Bon is the only one who's done any level grinding, and knowing my brother, we're probably going to play hard ball with a party this big," Twilight replied as the group took a few side quests from townsfolk to level up and get some good loot."

"Guilty as charged..." Shining said with a smirk as they did the rolls. "And that's it for that group of goblins who'd been pillaging , time to check for loot..."

Everyone got decent loot...then they got to Clover.

"Wow...you got the best possible loot on the random loot table I prepared...for the fifth time in a row," Shining said wide eyed.

Clover blushed. "Oh, I didn't mean to..."

"It's fine,?" their DM/OO replied with a smirk. "I wouldn't have had the option to get that stuff if it'd be a game breaker."

"Which I admit, is something my brother does a lot better than I do..." said Twilight.

"I know the feeling, sometimes I feel like my big sister Meadowlark is better at me than anything," Clover replied. "Thankfully that includes believing in me..."

"Hey, believing in little sisters is the big sibling's job," Shining replied, giving his sister a smile. "That and babysitting."

"Oh, now THAT I get," Melody replied with a smile. "My little sisters can be a handful."

"I think Twilight probably had them beat," Shining replied, prompting Twilight to blush. "Unless they can burst into flames when throwing a tantrum."

Melody blinked, looking to Twilight wide eyes. "That can happen here?!"

"Emotion related things and baby unicorns can get a little...crazy," Twilight admitted.

"And that's why Clerics are awesome," said Shining Armor with a smug look.

"You had one of our side quests involve finding a broken key broken into multiple parts because Sweetheart had a Make Whole spell and had one of the pieces be in the middle of a dark zombie infested grave yard so she could use Channel Divinity to use Turn Undead against them and dispel the darkness, didn't you?" Twilight asked.

"Maybe..." replied Shining with a smirk. "Hey, part of my job is to make sure the party has to make use of everything it's got available and everyone gets a chance to have fun."

"I'm just glad I was useful," Sweetheart replied, giving a smile. Being a Cleric of a Light and Life domained god was making her a very good support character.

"Okay, can we please go after the Orcs now?" asked Patch.

"I think we're strong enough now," Twilight replied. "So I think so."

Session 89.11 Mtangalion

Young Button Mash gaped at the teenaged Button Mash in the fancy adventuring gear, who gaped right back. “You’re me from another world?” said both of them, perfectly in sync. “Cooool…”

The older Sweetie Belle giggled, walking along with the native still-in-grade-school Sweetie Belle. “Button’s just having some fun.” Older Sweetie smiled warmly. “This isn’t exactly the first time we’ve seen an alternate Ponyville. I miss how innocent the town used to be, before Herd Seven. She hummed thoughtfully, glancing around. “Say, would you like to learn some magic?”

Young Sweetie Belle stopped in her tracks, frowning. “This isn’t a spell for making dresses, is it? I don’t even want to learn sewing spells, but Rarity never listens.”

“I was thinking I could teach you… Cure.” Older Sweetie lifted a leg, and her horn glowed pale green. At the same time, green bursts of light like falling leaves swirled around her foreleg. “Even if you don’t get mixed up in a Keyblade War, you can always support your friends, right?”

Young Sweetie’s ears pricked up. “Whoa… Could you show me that again, please?!”

“My cutie mark?” echoed the older Rumble. His mark was a black symbol made of nested whorls, like the emblem on his coat. “It means that I have the power to face the darkness, and protect my friends’ dreams.” He coughed. “Of course, it took me a long time to understand that…”

Rumble the young colt regarded the strange mark with deep suspicion. “I’d still rather get a flying cutie mark…”

“But why can’t you give me my own Keyblade?” complained Button Mash. His older self had gone off to ask Twilight about the lawyers.

Discord folded his forelimbs and turned his nose up… and up and up, until his whole body turned over backwards in a circle, beeping like a big wheel on a game show. “It figures, that you’d ask for something entirely out of my purview. Keyblade wielders are chosen by other keyblade wielders, or by the keyblades themselves. They also tend to appear where they’re needed…” He poofed into a shambling dark figure with accordian limbs and a crossed-out heart symbol on his chest. “And trust me, you don’t want any of that around here!”

Discord poofed back and blinked. “Is purview even a real word? It sounds odd when you keep saying it. Purview, purview purview purview…” He shrugged. “Oh, perhaps you’d like some chaos emeralds instead!”

Button Mash blinked. “What do those do?”

Discord grinned darkly. “It’s different in practically every game, hence ‘chaos.’ Do try to keep up.”

Session 89.12 Ardashir

"So you convinced Twilight to fly kites rather than fear ladybugs," Sunset Shimmer said. Currently a pony and visiting Equestria, she sat beside Starlight Glimmer in the open field outside the Friendship Palace. "And it lead to, well, that." She pointed her hoof.

A short distance away, Twilight flew a ladybug-shaped and painted kite, controlling its string with her magic. Nearby some of the Friendship Students flew kites of their own. Well, Smolder and Gallus still did. Yona grumped as her kite, painted with a spider, came crashing down within a few feet of her.

"Yona think it cheating to use unicorn magic in kite fighting," she grumbled, gathering up her kite. She stepped back with a snort as a wild-eyed Twilight spun on her.

"Hah! Now you all know why I fear ladybugs!" She sent her kite, equipped with a abrasive line, against Gallus' griffon-painted kite. He frantically worked his line. Not fast enough. Twilight's kite stopped on his like a diving eagle seeking its kill, slicing both kite and line and sending it hurtling to the ground. He slumped and walked off to join Sandbar, Ocellus, and Silverstream. All three held their beaten kites in their claws or hooves. Twilight whinnied with glee. "Hah! My ladybug kite is victorious. And she sees everything!"

"Actually, Pinkie Pie added that suggestion, accidentally, I should have locked the door. But I thought it was a constructive way to handle her phobia," Starlight looked shamefaced. They both watched Twilight send her kite after Smolder's Neighponese dragon kite. Neither of them noticed the orange dragon's look of glee. "I didn't think she'd get so competitive about it. I'm sure she'll talk to you as soon as she's knocked Smolder's kite down. What did you want to see her about anyway?"

"Believe it or not, two things. One, I want to know if her students have been contacting ones at Canterlot High through that new internet connection." Twilight cackled as her kite flew at Smolder's. "And I think the Dazzlings may be up to something again. There's this goofy TV show about happy singing sirens, and --"

A wild neigh of savage victory erupted from Twilight's throat as her kite headed for Smolder's. "Victory is mine, dragon!"

Smolder just grinned. "Oh, yeah?"

Her kite turned to face Twilight's and -- flame erupted from its 'mouth'. Twilight gasped as her kite dropped to the ground on flaming ruin. She kept staring as Smolder brought her kite down.

"I knew ordering that 'Neighponese Fighting Dragon Special' from Mina in Dragontown was a great idea!" She flew up and pumped one claw in victory. "Woohoo! Uh, Mistress Twilight, if it's okay I'd like to go inside and, er," she looked from side to side as though wary, "work on my lessons? I have some Friendship lessons I want to check on."

"My kite," Twilight said, carefully gathering her ruined champion up. "My unbeatable ladybug of horror. How could this happen to you? How?"

Starlight and Sunset went to her side and patted her on the withers in support.

"Um, Smolder, it's okay. You can go inside. The rest of you too," Starlight turned from the students as they hurried into the school, talking excitedly. She turned back to Twilight. "Twi, maybe I should modify that post-hypnotic command I gave you. And Sunset wants to tell you something."

A sad-eyed Twilight raised her head as Sunset began to speak. "Twi, you haven't been having any problems with the students chatting online with human students from Canterlot High, have you? Or with the Dazzlings?"

"Huh?" Twilight blinked. "Why would we have any more trouble with the Dazzlings? And how could the students be getting in trouble with he Canterlot High students?"

***

"Okay," Smolder said as she sat down at one of the computers in the Friendship Palace restricted room. Smolder wondered if she ought to make sure the door was locked. Not that she was doing anything forbidden, exactly, but something told her this went a little beyond the 'only for World of Horsecraft' purposes Twilight told them. She made sure the coast was clear, adjusted her frilly dress, and turned the Skype on. "Norman, you better be there -- Norman! Hi!" She grinned at the human face appearing on the screen.

"Hi, Smolder," he answered, still in his orange jacket and knit cap. Something about him looked different, though. "So, about those tips for beating Discord when you face him..." He blushed. "Oh, uh, you look good in that dress, too."

"Really?" She posed prettily and batted her eyes the way Professor Rarity once described to her. To judge by the poleaxed look on Norman's face it worked on human males too. "Huh, uh, yeah. Just decided I should try wearing something other than my scales for once. Hey, wait," she peered closer at the screen, "did you get a haircut?"

"Huh!" Uh, yeah," Norman looked nervous. "You know, I still wonder if I'm talking to either a really sophisticated program or a real person behind that scalesona sometimes."

Smolder just blinked. Program? Scalesona? Should I tell him? She shook her head. Princess Twilight said they could make friends online with the humans, but they shouldn't reveal anything about Equestria. "Uh, whatever you like, Norman. Now about beating Discord? My friends and I were hoping to beat him." She stuck her tongue out and shuddered in disgust. "Because wow did he ever mess up the game's Equestria. I mean, it's not as bad as what he did with the Dragonlands for real. He turned us all into cold slimy salamanders that couldn't stand heat." She shivered at the memory of cold slimy skin. "It was so gross."

"Ri-ight," Norman looked at her funny through the link. "Anyway, I can send you the notes." He hit a few buttons and the machine rung on Smolder's end. She got 'No1Dragon's mail and started reading. "So that's how you beat the big ham -- wait, 'Sonata Happy Funtime'?" She frowned. "Hey, this isn't like those 'scaley' pictures that one other guy tried sending me, is it? Because they were kinda creepy and I don't even have those things on my chest..."

"No! Not at all." Norman waved his hands. "That's something new, this new TV show. It's meant for kids but it's hilarious." He began to look dreamy as he spoke, chin resting on one hand as he sighed. "There's all this singing and jokes and happy magical creatures."

Smolder grimaced. "Ugh. Sounds like something for little girls. And you watch this stuff?"

"A lot of us do," Norman said in a sudden heated tone. "Sonata the Singing Siren is great. She makes you see the world in a whole new way." He adopted a pleading tone. "Just try it, you'll see." He hesitated, and added, "I, I wish I could see you too. Sometime."

Smolder almost laughed but stopped herself. It'd hurt Norman, for one thing. And then no more tips on beating the boss villains. More... more, she just didn't want to. Norman was one of the few guys who never laughed at her dresses. Or called her a 'phony scaley avatar from Crystalsoft'. But lacking access to Discord's magic she knew what would happen if she went through the mirror gate. Spike and Ember and Garble had all warned her.

If she saw Norman, she wanted to see him as herself.

"Smolder?"

"Okay, Norman," Smolder rolled her eyes and hid a smile. "I'll look at your silly singing siren." He shot her a thumbs-up and signed off. Smolder shook her head and looked at the link. "Okay," she said out loud, as much for the sound of her own voice as anything. "How bad can a siren show be?"

She moved her mouse to the link and tapped it with one claw.

***

"Sonata, little sister, have you lost your mind!" Sonata smiled placidly as Adagio raged in front of her. Sonata continued getting into her Singing Siren costume as Adagio yelled, "You told some kid who emailed you to try tricking a dragon into getting addicted to the show? A REAL dragon?" Adagio shuddered. "One basic lesson, little sister. You do not mess with Tiamat's spawn!"

"Hey, every time we tried controlling ponies or humans, we lost," Sonata slipped the mask over her head. Her only slightly muffled voice came through. "Maybe if we get some dragons under our control the Elements won't be, like, such a big problem if the bearers get burned to ashes." She headed for the dressing room door. "Now hurry it up, Dagi, and remember, today Aria gets to dump a bucket of dead fish on you."

Grinding her teeth, Adagio followed Sonata out to the cameras.

Session 89.13 Ardashir

"Okay, I'm coming, I'm coming! Yeesh!" Garble growled as Smolder almost bounced her way down the hall towards the computer room. He walked into the room behind her and froze. Spike was sitting in front of one of the turned-on computers, looking even goofier than usual.

As Garble approached the little purple dragon began to sing:

"Good is better than bad!
Happy's better than sad!"
"Want advice? Just be nice! Good is better than bad!"

Garble shuddered. It was the most un-draconic thing he'd ever heard. He leaned over Spike and sneered at what saw on the screen. Some loser in a silly-looking blue siren costume was bouncing up and down before the screen, singing as they did. A purple and orange siren were close by. The purple one looked almost as amused as her blue sister, but the orange one seemed to seethe with a fury obvious even through the screen.

"Hi, Spike!" Smolder almost chirped as she sat down beside him. "Aww, I missed the show?"

"Huh? Oh, Smolder! Oh, and Garble." Spike looked back at the screen. "No, you didn't miss anything. See, you can start the video all over again and watch it from the start --" He stopped as Garble put his claw over the screen. Smolder and Spike glared at him.

"What's so special about this thing, anyway?" Garble looked at the show and made a disgusted face. "Bleah! That's creepy."

"It is not!" Smolder pointed at the screen. "Sonata the Singing Siren is all about being happy and kind and good things like that."

"Like I said, creepy." Garble snorted smoke in disgust. He pointed at Smolder. "You're getting to be as much of a pony in a dragon suit as Spike. What do you want, anyway? You were asking about the time I went ta that other world and Ember saved - I mean, when I saved Princess Ember from being locked up in a cage."

"That's not how she told it," Smolder snapped back. She leaned against the table. "It ain't important. I, uh, want ta know if you or Spike ever figured out a way ta visit that other world and stay a dragon." She scratched her scaly chin. "Why do we turn into dogs anyway?"

"I asked Pinkie Pie once, and she said the animators just thought it was a good joke." Spike shrugged at the confused looks of his fellow dragons. "Yeah. I didn't get it either. But why do you want to stay a dragon there, Smolder?"

"Huh? Oh! Uh, no reason," Smolder started rubbing her claws together nervously. "There's just, ah, someone I want ta see. It's not a date or anything," she glared at them defiantly. "I definitely won't be wearing any cute -- I mean, silly frilly dresses like Rarity makes!" Smolder put her claws on her hips and looked her most intimidating.

Spike just looked confused. Garble snickered and elbowed him.

"Sounds like Smolder wants ta go kidnapping a princess, heh! Or maybe it's a prince with her --" He choked as Smolder grabbed him by the neck, squeezing her tightest.

"Don't even go there," she hissed. Then she let go and went back to looking cheery. "Anyway! I also wanted to see the Sonata thing while I was there. Uh, you know, to make fun of it," she quickly added. "I mean, dragons don't do kind and nice and stuff like that." Her voice got dreamy. "Even if Norman wants to see it with me --" She clapped her claws over her muzzle.

"Norman who?" Spike and Garble both asked.

"What!" Smolder flew at them with a snarl, eyes blazing. They shrank back, clutching each other tightly as she spat. "You. Heard. NOTHING!" She watched them until they both nodded in fear. She went back to happy-cheery Smolder. "So! Any advice?"

Garble wondered if he should just make a run for it. Something about all of this was creeping him out. But he got so few chances to mess with anyone these days, and the only other dragon to associate with around the place was that fat slob Sludge. He asked, "What's it worth to you? Hey, we're dragons," he waved one claw in dismissal as Smolder looked ready to plead. "We don't do nothing for free." Smolder looked thoughtful. Garble wondered how she'd react when she found out he knew nothing about the mirror gate other than to avoid it. He fought to keep the smile off of his snout at the idea.

"You're right," Smolder pouted, and then smiled. "I have an idea. It's a bet. A game," she pointed at the computer. "You watch the show with us, and if you like it at all, you help us. Okay?"

Garble rolled his eyes. "I haveta watch that dumb stuff? Yeesh, okay. Just ta make a point about how dragons oughta act." He squatted on his haunches between Smolder and Spike as the purple dragon re-started the show. He prepared to be bored stiff as those two looked wildly happy. Stuff like this only appealed to stupid losers. At least this would be better than cleaning the floors again.

Fifteen minutes later:

"Good is better than bad!
Happy's better than sad!"
"Want advice? Just be nice! Good is better than bad!"

Three temporarily stripped of all savagery and greed little cuddly dragon hatchlings sang the song along with Sonata. They hugged each other as the show ended.

"Now remember, everyone, to come and see the BIG LIVE ACTION show this weekend at the Canterlot Mall!" Sonata waved at them all. The orange one tugged at her tail insistently. Sonata pushed her back one-handed without even looking. "Oh, and Dagi said to tell you all to look in mommy's purse and daddy's wallet and if you find any funny little pieces of green paper with pictures of dead presidents on them, mail them to us courtesy of the show. It'll be a big surprise! Now bye-bye! I love you all!"

"We wuv Mistress Sonata!" The little hatchlings said in the most sickeningly sweet voices imaginable. Garble and Spike nd Smolder knew just one thing. They were going to see that show. In the scaly flesh.

Somehow.

***

Back in the other world, beyond the mirror:

"Mistress Sonata," a smiling Sci-Twi spoke in chat. "I've repaired my magic extractor and re-worked it to open more gates between worlds. It will allow creatures to come from Equestria to this world without being transformed." She looked uncertain." I think so, anyway."

"Great!" Sonata clapped and smiled at the screen. Behind her Adagio was going through some fan mail. She smiled as she pulled out wads of money. Sonata said, "I'm so glad we're friends now! Remember, don't tell any of your friends who haven't watched the show about this, we want it to be a big surprise!"

Sonata cut the connection and grinned evilly. "A really big surprise!"

Session 89.14 Kendell2

Spoilers for SSSS Gridman

Back in that alternate reality, a couple times removed from this one, and may a few years down the line, Fluttershy again walked in on her daughter watching a series she's gotten invested in. She was happy to see she was in much higher spirits than last time. " What show are you watching now, dear?"

"SSSS Gridstallion, this anime based off the show that Superpony Samurai Syber Squad show used stock footage for, but the creators made it a love letter to both," Fluttercruel replied, giving a smirk.  

"Oh, it was nice of them to recognize the ponies who liked both shows," Fluttershy said, flying over.

"Yeah! And here's the cool part: the monster maker of the show, this girl with way more power than she ever should have had who made the world and thinks it's like a video game."

"Oh, so like that one villain from Digiponies?"

"Yeah! Anyway, she made this monster to be an evil knockoff of Gridstallion, but he survives and sticks around until he becomes his own person and then turns good, becoming an awesome second Gridstallion! He even gets a happy ending with these good kaiju!"

Fluttershy smiled. "I see why you like it, dear."

"In all honesty, I think I like Gridguard better than Gridstallion, darker colors look cool and he can shoot an energy buzz saw!...oh, and they beat the final baddy by shooting him with a healing beam and made the little world the bad guys had made into a whole world all on its own, which you'll probably like."

"I do, dear," Fluttershy said with a smile. "I'm glad you liked it...and found another hero you like a lot."

"And one that gets his happy ending..." replied Fluttercruel. "...Uh...mom, Figmane is making action figures of them...think I could..."

"Of course dear."

"Thanks!...Hey, think we could play that Ultra Stallion RPG and I make a guy based off Gridguard?"

"Of course, I've still got my characters for it."

OOC: Since me and Alex both loved SSSS Gridman...

Session 89.15 Ardashir

"So, uh, Purple Smart," Gilda said as she sat on a chair in Twilight's office. She twisted in it. The thick plush cushion on the wooden seat felt almost too comfortable to her. "I was just gonna ask how Gallus is doing now that he knows about that Horsecraft game, and if it might be time ta send more griffons here ta learn about, ugh," she shivered, ruffling her feathers up, before adding in a sour tone, "how to be friendly with everyone all the time..."

"Oh, Gallus is doing great!" As she spoke Twilight went to her filing cabinet and took out a sheaf of papers. "In fact according to this he's scoring better than ever in Fluttershy's classes. Though she gives everyone a passing grade anyway, she doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings." Twilight smiled. "That's our 'Shy."

Gilda tilted her head to one side. "Riiight... Anyhow, figured I'd ask. I met the dragons and, well, what's going on with those flying firebreathers?" She went to the window and pointed outside.

Twilight went to see. Outside the students were playing a game of buckball against some of the town fillies and colts. She flicked her ears back to see Garble and Spike playing alongside Smolder.

Playing very oddly.

"Spike!" Applejack yelled at the little purple dragon. He smiled widely as the ball, kicked by Apple Bloom, sailed right by his scaly head. It was snatched by Diamond Tiara who dashed at the goal bucket with it. "Y'all are supposed ta try an' block that shot!"

"But Apple Bloom put so much effort into that shot!" Spike said, sounding shocked. "It'd be so mean of me to not let her get the goal."

Behind him, Garble smiled. Pleasantly. Twilight blinked once or twice to be sure she was seeing properly as he deliberately moved the bucket so Diamond Tiara could hurl it in. "Oh, here, nice little pony, let me help with that."

"What?!?" Diamond froze. She barely bumped the ball. As it slowly rolled into the basket, with Garble helpfully setting it on the ground to catch it, Diamond gaped. "Are you nuts? That shot wouldn't have made it in a thousand years! Have you lost your mind, lizard?"

The game screeched to a halt. Everyone stared at Diamond in horror. Silver Spoon, also playing, moved to stand by her, a worried smile on her face.

"Like, Diamond," Silver hissed to her under her breath. "You know what we were told about the 'L' word."  Before either could say anything Garble loomed over them. He reached out to the cringing fillies -- Applejack and Rainbow Dash raced towards him, looks of horror on their faces -- Twilight gasped and with a snap of teleportation magic took herself and Gilda to their sides...

And all the adult ponies froze as Garble laughed and gently patted the two stunned fillies on their heads.

"Hey, it's okay! That doesn't bug us any more. Does it, Spike? Smolder?"

"Not me," Spike said, still smiling. "Heck, I even forgive you two for time you mailed me that picture of Zilla with the words, 'From your father' on it."

Diamond and Silver's manes were going frazzled as Smolder flapped over like a giant scaly bat and said, "An' that time you told me that when I wore that dress it looked like some gargoyle from Prance was headed for a tea party?" She laughed and slapped her thigh. "You were so right! I love dresses and cute stuff but I looked ridiculous in that!" She hugged The frozen Diamond around the neck. "Thanks so much for telling me! Only a real friend would want me to know I was making a fool of myself."

***

Moments later the dragons had gone back inside, marching in a row and singing some utterly silly song. Behind them Diamond was being taken off to Ponyville Emergency. Silver hurried along beside her, eyes wide with worry behind her glasses.

"We're your friends, Diamond! Eh-eh-eh!" The once spoiled little filly mumbled as her eyes rolled in different directions. The restraints on the stretcher looked unnecessary as she shivered, paralyzed with shock. "So what if you called us overgrown geckos just to be noticed again?" She raised her hoof to her lips and began fanning them with it. "Bbl-bbl-bbl!"

The stretcher ponies left with her, Silver and the CMC following, as Diamond cackled madly.

"Okay," Gilda shuddered in horror, "now try and explain THAT ta me. What happened with those three? Are they being mind controlled?"

Gilda, Dash, and Applejack all turned to look at Starlight Glimmer as she trotted to the school. "What?" She yelled at them. "Will nopony ever get over that?" She left with a sniff, muzzle in the air.

"I get it," Twilight said after several long moments. She began smiling wider than ever. "My school works even better than I thought! I managed to make wild dragons into kind-hearted, gentle citizens of Equestria!" She turned and hurried off to her office. "Sorry, Gilda, but I just have to write Princess Celestia and Dragon Lord Ember about this. They won't believe it!"

Gilda watched her leave. "I was here, and I don't think I believe it," she grumbled. She looked around. No one was nearby. Moving cautiously, her claws and talons gliding softly over the stone pathway of the school with the faintest scratching noises, Gilda followed the three back into the school.

"Okay," she muttered. Her claws clicked lightly over the floor and her long tail rustled softy as she lashed it behind her, a hunter on the prowl. "Dweeb ponies might not know better, but I do. There's something rotten in the Friendship School."

***

And in another world entirely: "I've got it finished, Mistress Sonata!"

A smiling Sci-Twi handed her new and improved mana extractor over to Sonata.

The Siren petted her on the head. "So, with this I can open gateways back into Equestria? And anything I want to come through, can?" Sci-Twi nodded so enthusiastically it looked like her head might fall off. Sonata stopped her. "Okay, you go and watch all of my show's episodes again. Me?" she hefted the hand-size device and giggled as it powered up, growing warm and with flashing LEDs.

"I have some dragons to recruit!"

Author's Note

This chapter needs cover art!

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?
What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 89.0 Mtangalion
Session 89.1 Ardashir
Session 89.2 Mtangalion
Session 89.3 Mtangalion
Session 89.4 Kendell2
Session 89.5 Ardashir
Session 89.6 Mtangalion
Session 89.7 Ardashir
Session 89.8 Mtangalion
Session 89.9 Grogar-the-oneser (edited by Kendell2) Epilogue to the sick Alicorn Hasbro short.
Session 89.10 Kendell2
Session 89.11 Mtangalion
Session 89.12 Ardashir
Session 89.13 Ardashir
Session 89.14 Kendell2
Session 89.15 Ardashir

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Picture by used with permission.

THIS CHAPTER NEEDS COVER ART!

Session 90

Session 90.0 Grogar-the-oneser

"I request permission to borrow one of your dragon students," Gilda stated

"What, why?" Applejack said

"I think they became brainwash, and before you accuse it of being craziness, there a difference between kindness and being fluttershy 2.0, and i mean the Fluttershy BEFORE her character subtle development." Gilda said

"Thank you for the clarification," Fluttershy stated

"Well... Spike has been way too nice in the magic comics... refusing to fight the Maneiac cause he thought it would hurt her feelings....I been used as a ping pong ball for five hours..." Rainbow growled the last part but realized something "Wait why don't you just confront them directly?"

"I would, but I learn that might not be the best idea in some cases, man Grandpa Gruff can throw a couch," Gilda said annoyed yet somewhat proud.

"Right... well even if you are right, which were not saying you are or not." Starlight added. "How would you even proof if it is brainwashing?"

"Simple, I'll just need patient zero, the one who first acted off.... and an expert on the mind." everyone looked at Starlight.

"Yeah... I walked into that one." Starlight sighed.

Session 90.1 Mtangalion

“So…” said Starlight Glimmer, as she and Gilda searched the halls of the Friendship Gaming Academy for their wayward dragons. “What brings you back to Ponyville?” She grinned slyly, nudging the griffon. “Have you got Rarity making you a wedding dress?”

Gilda made a sour face. “I wouldn’t be caught dead in one. Well… maybe if Gerold asked…” She shook her head quickly. “Nope, not happening! Besides, griffons don’t really do weddings.”

Starlight raised an eyebrow. “Dare I ask?”

Gilda grinned wickedly. “It’s like a party for the whole town! The griff and the hen get up on a rooftop and shout stuff like ‘He’s mine! Anygriffon got a problem with that?’ And if somegriffon objects? Instant brawl!” She leaned closer for a conspiratorial whisper. “Sometimes, griffons object just for fun!”

Starlight blinked. “Really, now?”

“And then there’s that thing every spring when lots of griffons renew their claims all at once…”

“Okay, I get the picture! Hello…” Starlight backtracked and peeked into one of the Academy’s newly opened computer labs. Spike, Garble, and Smolder were inside, crowding around a terminal. Spike was taking a while to access something on the computer, but Garble and Smolder weren’t acting impatient at all. In fact, they were holding claws and dancing eagerly.

“I’m starting to see your point, Gilda,” mused Starlight. “Let try a pinch of illusion dispelling powder and make sure it really is our dragons.” She levitated a bit of sparkling dust from a bag, and floated it into the room with subtle air currents.”

The sparkles settled over them, but no changelings were revealed, and no wolves threw off their costumes. “Oh, what’s this?” exclaimed Smolder. “It’s so cute and glittery! Spike, come share!”

Spike grinned. “Nah, I’m good. I’m happy just seeing how much you’re enjoying it!”

“Aw, you guys are the best!” Garble sniffed, wiping a tear, and picked Spike up in his arms. “Who even needs gold or gems or power when I have a friend like you?”

“Aw… group hug!” Smolder flew up and flung her arms around Garble and Spike both, joining in.

“Good is better than bad!” proclaimed Garble. “Aw who am I kidding? There’s no such thing as a bad hug!”

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” groaned Gilda, miming sticking a claw down her throat. “Here’s the plan, Starbutt. I’ll rush ‘em, and you get the anti-brainwashing mojo and then… what the squawk?”

A portal was forming in the middle of the room, without any magic mirror or dragon flames or spell-work of any kind, and the happy young dragons were already skipping through it.

“Let’s hurry, before it closes!” hissed Starlight.

Gilda shuddered. “Not that I’m scared or anything lame like that, but I dunno if we should… hey!” Starlight had seized both of them in her flight field, and suddenly they were hurtling into a rainbow carnival funhouse right on the dragons’ heels…

The human Twilight coughed vigorously, fanning smoke away from her face and giving the mana extractor another blast with a fire extinguisher.

“Whahappen?” groaned Sonata, lying prone on the floor with swirls for eyes. “What’d I do wrong?”

“Oh, it wasn’t your fault,” Twilight reassured her. “There was a massive power surge. It's as if five people jumped in the portal all at once… but who would even do that?” She did the math in her head again, adjusting her glasses. “They probably made it to Earth okay, but they could be… well, anywhere.”

Gilda blinked, staring at the brightly lit… palace? No wait, it was a shopping mall! She remembered all of that human junk from back when she’d been dating the human version of Gerold. But she was still a griffon, and Starlight Glimmer was still very much a pony.

Starlight stood frozen. “Wait, is this the mall where we did the thing with Juniper? Why…” She lifted a forehoof, gawking at it. “How…”

Gilda shook her head. “You’re asking me?”

Colorful humans were walking around and past them, some giving the Equestrians curious glances, some ignoring them altogether.

“What are those? Should we call the zoo?”
“I didn’t know there a World of Horsecraft convention in town.”
“Do you think they’re promoting a new expansion?”
“Hah, those costumes look so fake.”

What would Rainbow Dash do? “Aw, ponyfeathers,” muttered Gilda. Yeah, probably that.

Session 90.2 Unown3

The 'ordinary high school student' human Bon-Bon felt for her hidden tranquilizer gun. One of these creatures could turn everyone here into oranges if they wanted!

"I wasn't seeing things in that portal evil-glasses-Twilight opened up! They do exists!" Lyra said excitedly, remembering a unicorn who looked suspiciously like herself in that gateway.

+++

On their break, Adagio and Aria made some of the show's crew break out into a fist fight for a quick snack.

Aria Blaze snapped, "This is stupid, Sonata has her audience eating out of the palms of her hand. Why haven't we broadcast her new show on every piece of media around now? Or targeted all the Rainbooms at once!"

Adagio snorted. "I don't like it either... and I despise saying it... but Sonata makes sense here. Every time we've brainwashed ponies or humans en mass, we get heroes popping out of nowhere to cause trouble. And when we target the heroes, one of them for no good reason proves immune somehow. So instead we'll don't target a bajillion to keep us off their radar, and we target just enough of the heroes to be useful and keep them off our backs."

"Excuse me."

The sirens turned to see a little girl with blue curly hair and freckles looked up at them innocent.

"What did you hear?" Aria asked.

"I didn't hear anything." She said with those big innocent eyes. "Can I have your autographs?"

The sirens looked at each other, and complied.

"I think it's super cool how you and your sisters... get others to do whatever you want," the little girl finished in a slightly different tone. "You tell them to get along, and people who hate each other will get along like they've been lifelong friends. That is real power."

The sirens looked at each other again. And Adagio actually patted the girl on the head.

"What's your name?"

"Cozy Glow."

"I like you kid. Keep that attitude! You're going places."

"Any advice?"

"Never but never let anyone see your real hand before you play it. And always make sure rabble think it was their own idea when you string them along. Be one with the rabble."

"Thank you!" The perfectly sweet and adorable child skipped off. And then stuck her head in. "Oh! And there's three baby dragons out here asking to see 'Mistress Sonata!'"

"... 'A goddess' authority does not extend beyond her own universe'. Dad and the other outer gods get around this because their domain is the screaming nothing between worlds... " Adagio said, realizing the simple brilliance of her baby sister's scheme (that she'd never admit to the blue moron's face). A horrid grin formed on Adagio's face. "They're ours!"

+++

(A short time ago.)

"Oh Fluttershy! I have their great show I know you and your friends will like!" Sci-Twi said.

"Oh? Is it another Beauty of Earth video?" Fluttershy asked.

"I love those!" Captain Planet said.

Tree Hugger said, "Twilight... there's something different about your aura."

"Oh I'm much happier!"

"Well, yes, but I saw that in your aura when you first left Crystal Prep, too bad you couldn't be a teacher of harmony there, but I understand it having too many bad memories... But this feels... imposed somehow... "

"Oh don't worry about it!" Sci-Twi said, have never had any faith in Tree Hugger's 'aura readings'. "I promise after the first few minutes you'll love it!"

And Sci-Twi turned on the video.

"Happy's better than said," Fluttershy sang along.

+++

"Hey, what's this video Twilight sent us?" Scootaloo asked.

"Which one?" Sweetie asked.

"The one that isn't an alien horse princess." Apple Bloom said.

They clicked on the video...

"Ugh! One of those stupid kiddie shows!? Does she think we're babies or something?!"

"I dunno... it looks pretty... nice..." Sweetie said.

A while later, Cheerilee found the girls in the library watching videos... again.

"Girls how many times do I have to tell you, you can't use the school computers for..." Cheerilee had never seen the girls looking more adorable. They somehow looked younger. Their eyes large and sparkling, and threatening to make Cheerilee's brain melt. She actually looked at the video they were watching...

++++

"I can't believe you're exposing my little Ocellus to that mindless dribble!" Chrysalis hissed.

"Sorry mom!" Thorax defended. "The tickets were cheap! And she really really likes that show now! And her friends like it too."

"What's wrong with An Insect's Life? It teaches the virtues of sacrificing for the group, and sacredness of the whole!" Chrysalis still loved cheering the powerful and heroic grasshoppers as they claimed food from the weak but thieving ants.

++++

The human Gilda said. "That show is the best thing ever... now neither of us have to waste time looking after Gallus!"

Gabby gasped. "Cousin! That's not a nice thing to say about your brother."

"DON'T CALL ME THAT! I can't have everyone at Crystal Soft knowing we're related. And it's not like I adopted him! That was Grandpa Gruff's idea for a tax break!"

"Where's Smolder?"

"You mean the one dog that doesn't suddenly have the super power to speak around here? Far away from Fluttershy's freaky 'give animals the power to speak' magic, and with Gallus, thankfully the studio apparently allows pets in."

++++

Five children and one pet puppy sat in the front row of the audience of Sonata's TV show. Grinning and eyes swirling. Sonata's repeat in-person brainwashing sessions with her audience had rendered them completely in love with Mistress Sonata, and eager to share recordings of the show with their parents.

"Yona smash ... nobody. She give them hugs instead!" Said a girl with pigtails exceptionally large for her age.

Smolder... not being sapient, was not affected. Lacking the higher brain functions needed for Sonata's brainwashing to actually work. Still, the dumb animal was still able to tell there was something very not right about her Master, and something very not right about Master's friends. And the big fish ladies reminded her of cats... pretty on the outside, nasty on the inside.

Gallus just repeatedly petted Smolder, his eyes not leaving the performance. Not thinking about his adopted family.

Ocellus had dressed up like one of the sirens on a exceptionally well made home-made costume.

Silverstream, whose old neighborhood had been bought then demolished by Storm Construction to make way for condos, and having been bullied by Shadow Tempest until her auntie got in the bully's face... truly and finally felt at home.

As for Sandbar... he'd been the first to fall under Sonata's new style of brainwashing and had been the one to drag Gallus to the studio to try it out.

Session 90.3 Kendell2

"Alright, so what's the plan?" Twilight asked as the group's party was outside the Orc encampment.

Rainbow Dash and Patch smirked and took a deep breath.

"Mah Ranger holds Rainbow Dash's Barbarian by the tail," said Applejack.

"Likewise, my Druid holds back our hotheaded rogue," Bright Eyes said.

The two gave a pout.

"Killjoy," Rainbow Dash replied.

"Better than a total party kill," Melody replied.

Glimmer nodded. "AGAIN."

"You get the party killed by a dragon one time..." muttered both at once.

"I really can't shake the idea you two sound really similar..." said Pinkie Pie.

One check later, they saw that there were obviously too many Orcs for that to work, and that likely would've been the end result barring some really good luck.

"Okay, Patch, you want to get some action?" Bright Eyes asked. "You're the Rogue, so time for some misdirection. Think you can throw the camp into chaos and get those orcs to focus on...this area?" she asked, pointing to a 20 x 20 area on the game board. "Think of it as...a big prank."

"Huh? Yeah, you bet!"

To Patch's credit, when she was actually TRYING, she was surprisingly cunning and smart. It helped that pranks were decidedly something she was invested in.

Meanwhile, the two Druids in the party set to work on whatever plan Bright Eyes had set up.

"Alright, got 'em coming!" said Patch. "What's the plan?"

"Like I said, big prank..." Bright Eyes replied as Patch had her Rogue climb up 12 blocks high so the Orcs would have to stop in the spot picked out.

Using her Druid's Wild Empathy to convince a skunk to help them, while Fluttershy used Wild Shape to assume the form of one, the result was an entire camp of Orcs being sprayed. Skunks in the game, according to the available manual on hand, covered a 10 X 10 X 10 area, so two placed right made that 20 X 10 X 20, so while Patch was out of the danger zone, the orcs were not, and thus ever turn spent they risked being nauseated and on the first turn could be blinded for up to 4 turns.

Rolls didn't go perfectly in their favor, but a sizable number of Orcs were greatly weakened, allowing the group to open fire with long range attacks while Rainbow Dash and Bon Bon's Barbarians handled any that made it free of the 'blast zone.'

"Ah! I get it! Stinkbomb! Nice!" Patch replied, high-fiving Bright Eyes.

While it didn't make things a curbstomp, it'd at least let them weaken and pick off enough Orcs to make the battle a win in their favor in the end.

"Alright, so let's see what we can get out of their camp..."

They looked through the camp and found a map to Losvir Di Gemuth's lair...which was naturally through a long dangerous path through several dungeons.

Session 90.4 Jarkes

Just then, Sunset suddenly received a text from a number she didn't recognize.

" 'The Siren TV show is another Dazzling plot," Sunset read. "'Get your Rainboom friends to the 17th Studio at Zacherle Productions in the next hour, or it will be too late to stop them. - Mr. X.'" Sunset frowned. "I thought something was up about that..."

"Tell me about it..." Fluttershy said. "It was too sweet even for me, yet my brother seemed to be enthralled by it - literally!"

"Wonder why none of us are affected, anyway?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Doesn't matter now, darling," Rarity said. "We've got sirens to stop."

"And you're absolutely SURE this will increase the multiversal range of Sonata's spell even further?" Adagio asked Sci-Twi, raising an eyebrow at the tape in her hands.

"You bet!" Sci-Twi responded, beaming. "Just insert it into the projector and then activate it an hour from now, and it'll broadcast the signal to ALL dimensions! But you have to activate it EXACTLY 1 hour after inserting it, or it won't work."

"That's a rather odd time specification, but okay," Adagio said, taking the tape and inserting it in the projector. "This had better work."

"Oh it will!" Sci-Twi replied, still smiling. I certainly hope so anyway... she thought to herself. It's getting harder to keep up this charade... Hope Sunset and the others got my message.

Session 90.5 Ardashir

"Well, we got out of that okay," Starlight looked around the corner of the door leading into the abandoned mall store. She and Gilda had made their way here, smiling nervously and waving, with Gilda occasionally yelling, "Hey, dweebs, remember to play griffons in World of Horsecraft, they're better than lame ponies!" That lasted until they saw signs for the live showing of 'The Singing Siren' TV show with a taped sign reading 'With Special Guests!' Worse the saw three familiar-looking little dragons nearby in their true forms sneaking into the area marked 'Staff Only.'

"Okay, so they're here," Gilda scowled. "And they ain't dogs. How the heck is that even happening?"

"It must be because of the new gate that Sonata and Spike used." Starlight shook her head. "How did they even do that? They must have had some help from this world's Twilight. She's a scientific genius, she made a gateway once before. Sonata must have controlled her too. Or she's faking it and helping for some other reason."

***

"Sunset, I'm here backstage as Sonata's 'tech adviser', please pick up the phone and tell me you're coming!" Sci-Twi drummed her fingers nervously. Not for the first time she wondered about this plan of Sunset's, getting her to spy on the Sirens once the others had broken the mind control over her. Unfortunately that had happened after she'd re-created mana extractor technology. And connecting it online to Equestria through the World of Horsecraft connection (and she didn't even want to think how you worked Internet connections across dimensions, or what it implied).

Now here she was, waiting for them to arrive so they'd stop Sonata's plot before it got any further, and hoping nothing else went wrong.

Or came through from Equestria. That could cause a quantum warp with truly dangerous consequences.

"Twilight?" The voice came from behind her and slightly lower down.

"Not now, Spike." Sci-Twi shook her head. She reached to give her faithful dog a reassuring pat as she said, "I'm in the middle of something really..." It slowly bore in on her that she was touching scales and not fur.

Oh, no. Please let me be wrong.

She turned to see three reptiles -- no, dragons.

"Wow, Sci-Twi," Spike said, "I didn't think you'd be here. It feels kind of funny to be walking around here in the scaly flesh. I guess you're the one who brought us here so we could see Mistress Sonata," Spike and the others looked almost hypnotized, "so let's all go see her together!"

"Uh -- yeah, of course, Spike! Hah! Spike and..." Her eyes widened as she recognized the little red dragon, sort of. "Wait, you're the World of Horsecraft dragons? Garble the Strong, and..." She looked at the third, an orange-scaled little dragoness with a rack that would rival a Texas Longhorn's. "Okay, you I don't know." Sci-Twi admired wondered at her ability to stay calm at that moment, rather than run screaming like another part of her said to.

"I'm Smolder," the little dragoness said. She rose into the air on flapping batlike wings to look Sci-Twi in the eyes. Her gaze was hostile and suspicious. "Huh, you remind me of Headmistress Twilight for some reason." She went cheery again. "But if you helped get us to meet Mistress Sonata, that's great! Come on, new friend!"

"Oh, of course," Sci-Twi said as the three powerful little dragons half dragged her along to meet Mistress Sonata.

She looked in desperation at her phone. Blast it, where was Sunset? She had to tell her she'd learned how Sonata had regained the ability to charm people -- and apparently other creatures!

And what sort of quantum corruption was the gate causing this time?

***

"Pinkie Pie!" Applejack heaved at the fender of the Apple family pickup as she strained to lift it from the mud. Almost to their knees in mud, Rainbow Dash, Sunset, and Fluttershy pushed at it beside her. Rarity stood nearby and supervised, eyeing that filthy muck it was sunk in. "The next time ya tell me ya know a shortcut, Ah ain't usin' it!"

"How was I supposed to know they had a flood back here?" Pinkie Pie called as she used her geode's power to blast away some of the knocked-down trees in front of the truck. "Besides, all the main roads were jammed with traffic for that Singing Siren show and we needed to meet Twilight fast."

"Darling, you could have read the posted signs saying 'road washed out, do not use'." Rarity unhelpfully added.

"UGH!" Sunset yelled at her friends. "No arguing! That open gate could be doing who knows what. We have to help Twilight!"

"Aw, come on," Rainbow Dash laughed as she pushed against the truck. "It's only an unstable cross-dimensional gateway to an alternate universe running on wholly different scientific laws being used by a childlike sociopath to gain power. How much damage could it do?"

The next second they all redoubled their efforts.

***

"Big Mac?" Granny Smith calmly asked her grandson as they watched Applejack's dog Winona digging in the back yard.

"Eee-yup?"

"I know at my age the memory don't always work so good, but ain't Winona's bein' an elephant-size bat-winged reptilian monster a new thing?" As Granny spoke, the giant friendly brown-scaled dragon with a dog's mind unearthed a mastodon bone and started happily gnawing on it.

"Eee-yup."

"Huh. I figgered so."

Session 90.6 Unown3

(Last time we saw the dragons, they were meeting with Adagio and Aria remember?)

"Good is better than bad, happy's better than said, her advice is just be nice, good is better than bad." The little dragons sang, and Sci-Twi, found herself singing along too.

-

"Where are those idiots?" Adagio thought annoyed looking at her watch. Sci-Twi had to have contacted her friends by now. Shouldn't they have shown up to ruin things as usual?

Yes... Adagio would sooner be a slave to this vile status quo they all seemed to be enslaved to than live knowing Sonata had done what Adagio couldn't.

Adaio had removed Sci-Twi's brainwashing, or at least, had removed it enough that Sci-Twi THOUGHT it had been removed. And so had the nerd instantly contacted her friends.

After giving Adagio, Aria and Sonata three obedient dragons of course. She and Aria had given the dragons the biggest mental whammy they could on short notice. To be sure the usual 'power of friendship' junk didn't work, then again, Adagio seriously doubted it would... Sonata's new music... BLECH! It made their brainwashed slaves so happy and together that they had to stir up negativity among the studio to keep themselves from starving. On the plus side, the whole 'love and harmony' couldn't work since Sonata's platitudes were ALREADY about 'togetherness and niceness' (Somewhere across time and space, Accord sneezed).

"I saw Spike and the others come this way..."

Adagio stopped her brooding as she came face to face with Starlight Glimmer the unicorn and Gilda the griffin.

"Oh... it's you... Let me guess, you tagged along with our dragons?"

"THey're not your dragons!"

"They'd disagree," Aria said.

"You know, I came in second place in Equestria's Mind Control Contest because of you... Miss 'First Place Greatest Mind Controller in Equestria'..." Adagio said darkly.

"Uh... let me guess, you want a rematch?"

"BINGO! And Adagio began to sing, the green mist trying to seep into Starlight' brain, while Starlight blared a light of 'instant mind control spell' like she'd used on the mane six... the two magics clashed.

"Popcorn?" Aria offered.

"You're not going to fight me?" Gilda asked. Disappointed.

"Don't feel like it, Adagio's had this as chip on her shoulder, maybe if she wins and turns your friend into her brainwashed minion she'll finally stop griping about it... Besides, you griffins are so dang easy! Getting you guys to fight each other is like shoot fat slow fish with a machine gun in a thin barrel with a laser sight. I could brainwash you into a circus clown if I wanted: you're just not the challenge. The the light purple one give you as many headaches as my big sister and little sister do me?"

"We don't hang out as much, so not really."

"Personally, if this scheme works, I just want it to work. If it doesn't work, I just want it over with."

-

Sunset said, "I'm journaling Twilight, but there's nothing!... Applejack, why aren't you using your super-strength combined with Rainbow Dash's super speed to get the car out of the mud?"

"... Oh." They said together.

Then the immediate road in front of them collapsed.

"OH COME ON!"

Session 90.7 Mtangalion with an edit

Gilda stared down Aria, narrowing her eyes. Her paws shifted subtly, and sharp talons clicked on the tile floor. “You’re pretty glib about standing beak to beak with a predator, fish face.”

Aria groaned. “Okay, first off, if I’m a fish, then you’re an overgrown turkey! See how that works with the cheap insults? Second…” Aria motioned towards herself. “Superior predator, right here! And it’s not a beak, humans have noses. Idiot.” She rolled her eyes.

And in the split second that Aria was looking away, Gilda LUNGED…

Gilda balanced and danced on her paws, wearing a jester’s hat with jingling bells and a clown nose on her beak. “Heeeeey, kids! You know what time it is? It’s time to let the show begin!” She shook a pair of cowbells. “Woohoo, yeah!! Everybody… cheer?”

Gilda yanked the clown nose off, glaring murderously.

“I did warn you,” said Aria. She took a bite of her popcorn, chewing noisily.

Gilda shrugged her talons. “You know I had to try, right? I wasn’t just gonna NOW STARBUTT, BLAST ‘EM IN THE...”

Gilda blinked, realizing that she’d been cracking a whip, then rushing over to act out the part of a lioness being tamed, instead of wringing a human-ified Siren’s neck like she’d planned.

Aria checked her nails. “Okay, hate to say this, but now it’s just getting kind of pathetic.”

“I kinda have to agree,” said Starlight, still fully occupied by her contest with Adagio.

Gilda threw the lion tamer’s prop chair across the room. “Shut up.”

“Funny how the human version of you was so much better at resisting mind control last year,” mused Aria. “She must have picked up some harmony magic from hanging out with Those Meddling Kids.”

--

Rarity sighed theatrically. “Well, that settles it. There’s no possible way we’re getting to the studio today, not unless we fly there.”

Sunset, Rainbow, and Fluttershy blinked at each other sheepishly, then ponied-up and spread their wings.

Rarity winced. “Oh! Of course, silly me.”

--

"You gonna try to avenge Adagio if she loses?" Gilda asked.

Aria shrugged. "We're sirens, brainwashing is not exactly taboo for us. If Adagio can get brainwashed by prey, she deserves to lose."

Session 90.8 Grogar-the-oneser

"That is so wrong... what happens if it ends with a draw?" Gilda asked

"Well I don't know about you, but I'm messing with hypnotized Adagio head." Aria stated

"AGAIN, so wrong... Wanna bet that scenario happen and we both mess with them hypnotically," Gilda said

"I thought you said you and that purple one were cool?" Aria quirked an eyebrow

"We are, but that doesn't mean I don't want potential easy money," Gilda smirked

"Heh, I have forgotten you griffins can be kinda cool, Alright, your on!" Aria said as they shook hand/claw.

Session 90.9 Ardashir

While Aria and Adagio dueled with, or just tormented, Gilda and Starlight, Sonata got finished talking to her three new pets.

"...And don't fry anyone unless I tell you to, okay? We don't want any trouble, yet." Sonata reached into her pocket and rubbed the small piece of the Memory Stone she'd recovered after the Dazzling's last humiliation. She'd remembered how it affected her sisters, making them the loyal and loving pack she always wanted. Sneaking back later she found the single remaining pebble. Not enough power left in it to change Aria and Adagio's minds -- but it did work in a  warped way with her singing. Instead of filling others with rage and despair, it made them forget all their anger and unhappiness. And feel love for the one who made them so happy.

Sonata felt on some dim level that there were probably reasons why none of this should work, but she didn't care. The universe rarely made sense to her. She'd learned to go with the flow long ago.

"Yes, Mistress Sonata!" The three dragons chirped. "Can we go and get some good seats to watch the show now?"

She smiled. "Of  course, sweeties! Just make sure to stick close to the stage so I can call you when someone tries to meddle." Sonata smiled as her little pets hurried off. She didn't know who was going to interfere, but someone would. They always did.

"Hey, guys!" Smolder grinned self-consciously as she took a small pack off her back. "Uh, I have to check someone -- I mean thing, okay? Don't wait for me!" Garble and Spike smiled and nodded, walking off with arms around each other's shoulders and singing the Happy Siren Song.

Smolder went to a nearby door and peeked out. There. In the crowd. Her heart beat a little faster. It was her pal from online.

Smiling, Smolder sneaked into a nearby room called 'private', opened the pack,  and removed the dress she'd brought with her. She was going to serve Mistress Sonata. She was going to see her human friend (JUST a friend, she told herself).

Smolder hugged the dress to herself and sighed. This was going to be the best day ever.

***

"Okay, here's the mall," Dash said as she dropped to Earth, letting Applejack go. Beside her Fluttershy dropped off Pinkie Pie and Sunset let go of Rarity, who immediately checked her mirror.

"Uh, Rarity, should you really be doing that now?" Sunset said as she 'powered down'.

"Sunset, darling," Rarity put the mirror away. "When appearing before the public and seeking their trust, you should look one's best. Besides, this is a plot put together by Sonata," she began walking to the mall theater door. "How bad can it get?"

All of them ducked as a blast of magical energy lashed out from nearby back entrances. They looked inside and saw -- Starlight Glimmer, as a pony, fighting against Adagio. And nearby stood the griffon Gilda with Aria, both watching the fight with vast interest.

"Oh, all right, all right!" Rarity said, arms wide. "So I shouldn't have said it."

***

"S-Smolder? You're REAL?" Norman stared in shock at the cute little dragoness in a frilly dress.

"Heh, yeah, Norman," she flushed and half hid her face. Who ever knew that Professor Rarity's lessons would have this much use? "I, I came here to see you, like I promised... Hey! What's with the fainting?"

Session 90.10 Grogar-the-oneser with edits

What the hell happening!" Sunset shouted.

"Looks like Starlight and Adagio battling via mind control magic while Aria and Gilda are watching, possibly betting on which one would win," Pinkie chimed. "Meanwhile I think everyone who would point and gawk at the spectacle is at Sonata stage show if that mall sign anything to go by."

"Okay....Lets head to the show first."

"Shouldn't we take care of that?" Rainbow Dash pointed out.

"Those two are the most skill at hypnotizing people, Do you really wanna get caught in the crossfire?" Sunset asked.

"I do not," Rainbow admitted.

Session 90.11 Unown3

QUICKIE!

Sunset Shimmer's eyes buldged as she looked at her friends' character sheets, "Wait... you all choose Argonians or Khajit as your race, you all chose Unarmored as either a Major or Minor skill... and you ALL choose to go around naked not wearing clothing or armor at all times?!"

Rainbow Dash grinned, "Well, yeah."

Fluttershy said softly (which is like saying rain is wet), "Tree Hugger said I should try it."

Pinkie Pie giggled. "Why not?!"

Applejack shrugged. "In for a penny, in for a pound."

Princess Twilight said, "I don't get what the big deal is."

Session 90.12 Unown3

Aria snorted, "Will one of you two lose already? Or you brain zap each other! I don't care! The Rain-Dorks are here to ruin Sonata's party and I'm the one whose gonna be stuck listening to her cry that she'd lost her brainwashed 'friends'!"

Session 90.13 Ardashir

No sooner did Smolder lean over Norman than someone yelled, "Hey, you weirdo, get away from my boyfriend!"

"He's not my boyfriend!" Smolder gave a little jump when she said it. "I mean -- who are you, anyway?" A blue-skinned and haired girl stood in front of her, hands on hips and looking furious.

"Who am I? I'm Blueberry Cake and his girlfriend, that's who." The human girl grabbed Smolder by her horns. The dragon yelled as she began yanking on them, tugging furiously on Smolder's head. "And no screwball in a cheap Horsecraft dragon costume is gonna take him away from me! What do you have keeping this mask on, anyway?" Blueberry started tugging even harder. Smolder's eyes began to bulge as she fought to get free. Blueberry ignored her. "I'll... have it off... in just a moment!"

"Gah! Garble! Spike!" Smolder somehow found the breath to yell. She wished Sonata hadn't told her not to flame or claw anyone except on command or this fight would be SO over! "Help! I'm gonna get my head yanked off by a crazy human and ruin Mistress Sonata's show!"

Nearby, Sci-Twi watched as the other two dragons heard the cry and hurried off to help Smolder. She almost yelped whena  hand gripped her shoulder. "Sunset!"

"Twi, we got here as soon as we could," Sunset gasped, hands on her thighs. Twilight wondered why her friends all looked muddy and covered in leaves. "Got your warning... Came to stop Sonata... Wait, are those dragons?" Sunset blinked as Garble and Spike zeroed in on Smolder and Blueberry.

"Right now they're a distraction," Twilight said. She gulped as Sonata came on the stage in front of the cheering crowd. She had the rewired mana collector in her hands. "I don't know where Adagio and Aria are, but we better stop her now before things get even worse."

Twilight and her friends hurried for the stage.

***

Just outside, Aria and Gilda watched with vast glee as Adagio and Starlight fought to control each other.

"I control your mind!" Adagio roared, sweat on her brow, forcing her magic to work by sheer brute force of will. She swayed on her feet.

"No! You! Don't!" Starlight shot back. Her horn glowed like a small star, veins bulging on her forehead as she used her strongest mind magics.

"Ladies," a husky security guard said as he walked up importantly. Iron Will, making some money on the side from his usual job at CrystalSoft, went between the two as they used their magic. "Iron Will is willing to put up with you LARPers as long as you behave, but right now -- gurk!" With a zombie-like look on his face, he rose and stepped back. "Mistress, command Iron Will, and he will obey."

Starlight and Adagio both ignored him. Aria looked at Gilda. She pointed at Iron Will. "So, you wanna?"

Gilda shrugged. "Eh, might as well. This dweeb was dumb enough to walk into this. Might as well have him get us some dinner." Gilda wondered briefly where all those sirens outside were going. Oh well, no business of hers.

***

Elsewhere, just outside of Human-Gilda's junkyard, the usually canine Garble and Ember hid behind their mistress and wondered why they now looked like big lizards. And behind them Torch the usually-a-bulldog but now a huge reptilian monster who still had an ordinary dog's mind did what he usually did. He snored away in total indifference to everything. He had his food bowl and his blanket. He had everything he needed.

"For the last time," Gilda stood between her pets and what looked like half the Canterlot PD Swat team, "they're rare Tibetan breeds! Or something!" She shook her fist at the skies. "Other-me, I know you're involved in this somehow!"

[OOC: The later scene is building on what happened with Winona earlier. No need to drag it into the story any more unless people really want to.]

Session 90.14 Mtangalion

Not even a minute after Iron Will had left to get them some takeout, Gilda started grousing. "Ugh, what's taking him so long?! You humans still have that 'fast food' stuff, don't you?"

Aria rolled her eyes. "Keep your shirt on, princess."

At once, Gilda stiffened, standing up straight and proud... as much as a four-legged creature could, anyway. "What is this..." The griffon looked herself over and shrieked, "Servant! We are in public, unclothed! Unacceptable! Bring us our royal garb, AT ONCE!"

Aria did a double-take, and then a dark grin spread across her face. "Right away, your highness!" As luck would have it, the studio had filmed a production of Alice in Choasland just last month, and the royal gown of the Red Princess hung on a rack in the corner. "Put this on, highness, before the peasants see you!" Even better, the shelf behind the rack had a glittering necklace, a sparkling pretty princess tiara, and a royal scepter topped with a red heart. "Your royal regalia is here as well, heh heh..." She pulled out her phone and made sure there was plenty of space for some embarrassing photos. "Let's get you looking your best for the royal portrait."

Session 90.15 Kendell2

OOC: Okay, I looked everywhere, but couldn't find any sign this part had been done, so if I missed it, forgive me.

Snips the minotaur blinked, finding himself trotting through a labyrinth-like monolithic city. "Where is the Snips?"

"You, my little man, are in the Tauran Peninsula!" shouted Iron Will, towering over him intensely. "Homeland of the Minotaurs!"

"...Aren't you that Minotaur who scammed Princess Twilight?"

"She forgave me for that and I was desperate the time...Iron Will also got kidnapped by Storm King and forced to provide information for a terrible movie for him with his family as hostages, which Twilight deemed more than enough punishment," Iron Will replied.

"Oh..."

Iron Will lifted the little minotaur up on his shoulders. "Now come on, little man! Let Iron Will show you the power of a minotaur!" he said, climbing up a nearby building. "First thing about Minotaurs! Our homeland is the land of HEROES! Heroic champions throughout history! And now you get to join them!" he yelled, placing him next to a suit of gallant armor made just for them. "And teach those Time Changers a lesson, Minotaur style!"

"Awesome!" Snips yelled, jumping into the suit of armor. "...Now what?"

"First off, the war cry!" Iron Will screamed. "Rattle your opponent to their core before you give them what for!" he called. He then inhaled. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Snips was forced back from the sheer force of Iron Will's war cry. "Whoa..."

"Now let me hear it!"

"AH!"

"LOUDER!"

"AHHHHHH HHHHHHH!"

"LOUDER!"

"AHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Still not loud enough!" Iron Will replied. "Let them hear you all the way in the nose bleed seats!" Iron Will chanted in his 'motivational speaker voice. "Now fill those scrawny lungs and ROAR!"

Snips inhaled so deeply his chest puffed up almost to the size of Iron Will's chest. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Iron Will smirked, his mane blown back horizontal to his head and gave a thumbs up as Snips panted. "GREAT JOB!...Iron Will can't hear very well right now, but that means you did well! Now! Once your enemy is intimidated, close in for the kill!" he replied. "Minotaur's magic is like an Earth Pony's! STRENGTH! POWER!" he said, grabbing a pillar and picking it up over his head. "Now! Flex those muscles!" he yelled, pointing to a nearby, much smaller pillar.

Snips struggled to lift it.

"Not with the back! With the legs!"

Snips adjusted his stance, lifting the pillar over his head and laughing excitedly.

"GOOD! Now come on, we're going to go punch some monsters in the face!"

"Why?"

"Because they're evil and harassing the elderly! You gonna let some harpies steal your grandpa's food?!"

"No!"

"WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?!"

"PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE!"

"GOOD!" Iron Will said, pointing to a flock of harpies indeed stealing food from an old man. "And what do you do before that?!"

Snips charged in, giving a bone rattling battle cry.

"Alright, class, now that we've repaired the damage done by that history swiping incident," Cheerilee replied, snarling. Dragon instincts making her understandably upset at Shadowlock destroying the hard work she and others had put into this. Thankfully, after his redemption he'd help repair it. "Now we can continue and get some actual studying in."

Session 90.16 Unown3

Sandbar asked, "And this is the new fantasy species for my campaign setting! Werewolf-pixies!"

Silverstream said, "Sandbar, how can you write something so lazy, and contrived? Just smooshing two existing fantasy beings together? That's just bad world building!"

"Should we say something?" Gallus asked.

"Naw, I wanna see how far this goes," Smolder said.

Session 90.17 Unown3

"THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND ME ADAGIO!"

"OH? WHAT'S THAT?!"

"I DO'T GIVE A BUCK WHO THE STRONGER MIND CONTROLLER IS!" And Starlight grabbed a old record player with her telekinesis, and caught the sound of Adagio's mind control magic... and blasted it back at her...

"I'm just trying to keep your sister from turning this city into a new Our Town. Do I want all ponies still be equal? Yes. All I did was realize that 'the same' and 'equal' have never been the same thing."

"Exactly!"

Starlight turned to see... herself?

"I told everyone that this new show was using mind control but no one believed me! You're me from the other world aren't you!?"

"I'm a unicorn! Every time you've seen me I've been a human! How did you even know that!?"

"I recognized your voice... and Our Town is the name of the commune I play to found on the principle of TRUE Marxism as it was INTENDED after I finish collage." Human Starlight said.

"Of course..." Unicorn Starlight rolled her eyes.

"Command me Mistress." Adagio said blankly. "Though I hate you with every fiber of my being and want to eat your innards, I am but your slaves." Adagio's voice remained even and vacant never rising in anger.

"... Tell me EVERYTHING about Sonata's plan! And how we can stop it!"

"I'd rather tell you where to stuff it, but I shall obey Mistress," Adagio said obediently, her eyes pin pricks.

Session 90.18 Unown3

"Your friends have all been led into a trap. Now that Sonata's song and brainwashing have reached critical mass spread so far across town and so deeply in her audience's brains, she just needs a good zapping from your friends love and friendship death-ray-of-pain. Since her stupid niceness song is based on harmony, your friends' stupid light show will actually cause it to 'tip over' spreading it all over the city, turning them, and everyone in range into Sonata's happy little slaves, never fighting, never quarreling, all in peace and harmony whether they like it or not, makes me sick."

"WHAT?! I know there's a way stop it somehow! Tell me!"

"It's not like ... yes I did plan to ruin my sister's moment in the spotlight since I'd rather do that than live knowing I owed her everything... You need beings whose hearts are aligned with chaos rather than harmony, selfish, brash, greedy, rude, violent..."

"GILDA! WHERE ARE YOU! I NEED YOU TO SAVE THE WOLRD! Okay! I need to get a call in to Trixie! Okay! What other creatures do I know who are more chaotic than harmonious?! I need to warn Sunset and the others!"

"I'd say I'm pretty chaotic, I hate the current order of things," said human Starlight.

"Ugh! Better than nothing!"

Session 90.19 Ardashir

"Hey! What's going on here?" Garble snatched Blueberry and Smolder up, one in each claw, and held them apart. As the two girls useleslsy tried to sink their claws into each other, he said, "We're here ta listen ta Mistress Sonata's show, dorks! I mean," the happy magic of the Singing Siren renewed its grip on his mind, "this isn't making Sonata happy!"

"Leggo of me, jerk!" Blueberry yanked free from Garble's grip and dropped to the floor. "No skank in a silly lizard costume is gonna steal MY boyfriend --" She froze as from her new angle she could see up and inside Smolder's open muzzle. Real flesh and fangs were there, not rubber or latex. "What the? AHHHH! Y-you're real!"

"Figure that out all by yourself, did ya?" Smolder growled, feeling her neck and wincing. "Yeesh, are all humans this crazy?" She gave Norman a dirty look. "Hey, why didn't you save me from her?"

"You really ought to stand up more for your girlfriend," Spike innocently said.

"We're not going out!" Smolder and Norman both yelled at once. Even as they did the music coming through the speakers seemed to intensify. Their eyes went wide and innocent. Smolder turned to Blueberry as her eyes also went googly-moogly.

Blueberry, hands clasped together, said, "I'm so sorry I tried to tear your head off with my bare hands, you adorable little dragon who was making eyes at my boyfriend!"

Smolder glared for an instant, and then giggled and waved a claw dismissively. "And I'm so sorry I tried to take him from you without knowing he was claimed, even though he never told me he was cheating on me, er, you! LET'S HUG!"

They did so to a chorus of 'Dawww's!' from the crowd. All save one blue-skinned silver haired girl who hurried away, gagging in disgust.

Norman just shook his head in disbelief ".... All girls are nuts.". Then Sonata's magic affected him as well, and he added, "And there's nothing wrong with that whatsoever ever."

***

Outside the nearest exit door Trixie, who'd come to see what kind of power this 'Singing Siren' had and how she could use it, was shuddering at what she'd seen. Why couldn't she get crowds like that for her singing or magic?

"Urrgh! Trixie is glad she skipped lunch!" She shook herself. "That was stomach turning. All that sappy love and forgiveness, and none of it aimed Trixie's deserving way."

"I bet we can use her," a scratchy voice said nearby.

"We've got no choice," an oddly familiar voice added.

Trixie turned and blinked to see a small purple pony with a sort of star brand on her flank, and was that a griffin beside her? Together with them was that self-help guru Trixie loved listening to, looking like a zombie, as well as two of the three Dazzlings from last year at school. Further back was that little brat from school Diamond Tiara -- Trixie remembered her being furious over her little toady Silver Spoon forgetting all about her for the Singing Siren, and that wannabe Rosa Luxemburg and full-time paranoid Starlight Glimmer.

"The last time the Stunned and Confused Trixie saw something like this, she was running a 103 temperature," Trixie shook her head and felt her wrist. "No fever."

"Listen, no time to explain, but we're real." The purple pony walked closer, her hooves clicking on the floor. "Trixie, this will be hard to believe, but --"

"You're friends of the three for-real dragons Trixie just saw inside, and are here to free them and everyone else from the Singing Siren, who is the blue ditz sister of these two?" Trixie waved her hand at a smirking Aria and a blank-faced Adagio. As the purple pony blinked in confusion, she said, "What? After what the Getting Used To This Weirdness Trixie has seen over the past year, that is the most logical conclusion!"

"Okay," Starlight turned to Gilda as they made their way around the mall theater. Whenever a security guard tried to stop them Iron Will got them past. They made their way to the stage door and saw -- "Sunset? Girls? What are you doing here?"

"Trying to get back inside!" Sunset peered through a crack in the door. "Great, Sonata has those three dragons, Spike and the other two, on the stage with her. The dumb-looking big red one is closest to us."

"That's Garble," Gilda waved one claw. "Eh, I vaguely know him."

"Sure." Sunset blinked slowly. "Why not. Anyway, Sonata caught us and had her security toss us out the door."

"She didn't mind control you?"

"Naw," Applejack had a look of grudging admiration on her face. "She said she was gonna be controllin' everyone after the show, so might as well just have the mall security toss us out an' lock th' door."

"Heh, way to go, little sis." Aria leaned over and stage-whispered to Adagio. "Hey, why didn't you ever come up with plans that simple?" Adagio just growled.

"Okay, anyway," Starlight gathered the others around her, saying, "Sonata is using a kind of corrupt harmony to control everypony. So, Gilda and I figured that anti-harmony, chaos, could break the spell."

"That could work," Sunset pressed her ear against the door. "But where are you going to get six 'Elements of Chaos' on short notice? Sonata's starting the show!"

"And it's nationwide," Sci-Twi said, checking her Ipad.

"Oh, that's the great part, we have most of them already!" Starlight pointed to her human self, Trixie, Gilda, and Diamond. "We may need one or two more."

"Great so where do we find them?"

"HEY!" The doors burst open as Garble walked out, smoke and flames trickling from his nostrils. "What are you puny humans up to? Huh? Gilda and," he gulped and suddenly looked afraid, "Heh, Guidance Counselor Starlight? W-what are you doing here?"

"Recruiting you," Starlight said as she gave him a blast from her horn. Garble gave a howl as she said, "There, that should remove the mind control. And give him a serious headache but we're in a hurry here. So that's five, one more to go..."

"Actually? None more to go," Sci-Twi held up her Ipad. To everyone's shock a message was flashing on it, under the heading URGENT: CAN I HELP?

SCREWBALL THE AI

Session 90.20 Unown3

= This Song's Gonna Get Stuck Inside Your Head - Lego Movie 2 =

Gallus, Sandbar, Yona, and the other friendship students at the computer lab, found a link forwarded from their friends ...

"Hey! Did they go to the human world without telling us?!" Gallus asked. They clicked on the link.

And a minute later the room was fill with grinning creatures that Our Town would have found a little freaky. All with but one happy thought on their minds, "We love Mistress Sonata!" And began spreading the music through the school and to their teachers. And the free loaders.

"I am so sorry I abandoned Spike and then tried to use him to win at dice... I want to give him a big hug," said Sludge.

The crystal material of Twilight's castle proved very effective, after all, transmitting harmony magic was what it had been made for. Princess Twilight was grinning.

Meanwhile, in the run down mansion outside of Ponyville, the mean six were snarling in disgust.

"It's like this music is made out of the opposite of me!" Mean Twilight hissed.

"PUSH IT BACK NOW!" Screamed Mean Fluttershy. The dark magic they'd been born from actually pushing back against Sonata's self-sustaining corrupt harmony music.

Session 90.21 Mtangalion

“Hey! Excuse me!” Rainbow waved a blue-skinned hand over everyone’s heads as she elbowed her way through the crowd toward Gilda. “Can I just say how totally awesome it is that you turned all the way into a griffon? Seriously, you’ve gotta teach me how to do that!”

Gilda groaned, resisting the impulse to shove the human Rainbow away. “Dash, don’t be a lame brain. I’m the other Gilda. I mean, you’re the other Dash...”

Aria reached into a pocket, snickering, and then her face went blank. “Where’s my phone?” She started patting her pockets frantically. “I can’t have…” She looked to Gilda. “You! When did you...”

“This is for making me wear a dress!” crowed Gilda, pulling out a very expensive-looking phone and twisting it apart with her claws. “Hey, you’re right! That was way more satisfying than calling you fishface.”

“I’ll kill you!” bellowed Aria. Starlight moved over behind Gilda, ready to dispel any further attempts at mind control, and Adagio lunged, holding Aria back.

“Well, we certainly aren’t lacking for chaos,” snarked Trixie, “but noisy bickering isn’t going to help you all combine your chaotic powers with Trixie’s to save the day.”

Garble snorted, laughing. “Um, your powers? I’m the one with powers!” The young dragon flexed his muscles and breathed a spout of flame. “Okay, maybe the griffon is worth a quarter of a dragon…”

“Excuse me?!” snapped Gilda.

“But besides that, we’ve got three monkey girls and a computer screen, so I have to do all the tough stuff myself.” Garble smacked a fist into a scaly palm. “We should just go in there and beat them up. I’ll hold Spike and Smolder off, while you dogpile the siren.”

Everybody started talking at once.

Gilda grinned. “Now you’re actually talking sense for once!”

“We need a plan!” Diamond was saying. “Quick, fill me in on Sonata’s psychological weaknesses and anything we can use as blackmail.”

Starlight waved her hand in the air. “I still think we can reason with…”

“Flash grenades!” Trixie was telling Screwball’s screen. “We need lots of flash grenades!”

The air between the six of them began to warp and crackle...

And a dozen miles away, Crystalsoft Lead Designer Discord was just heading out to his car when he sneezed multi-colored confetti. “Huh, that hasn’t happened in a while.” He sneezed again, and a bunch of rubber ducks went flying. They bounced off the walls, then started quacking and waddling away.

President Sombra stared at this through the door of the break room, then looked at the cup of coffee in his hand, his fifth of the day, and poured the coffee down the sink.

Session 90.22 Ardashir

"Hi, everyone!" Sonata waved and smiled at her audience of soon-to-be slaves. Thousands of faces here, maybe hundreds of thousands around the nation, all gazing at her in utter adoration. The fragment of the Memory Stone at her throat pulsed with power. "I always feel great when I see my flunkies -- I mean fans!" Fortunately no one noticed the mix-up

"Hi, Sonata the Singing Siren!" The crowd cheered back. She felt relieved that she'd been able to get the minor scuffle two of her three pet dragons were causing back under control. Smolder and Spike flew on either side of her, their faces wide and blank and smiling as her magic controlled them.

"How much do you love me?" Sonata asked her audience.

"With all our hearts and minds!" They cheered back, their voices striking and rebounding from the walls.

"And if I ever went away," Sonata leaned out towards them, cupping one hand to her ear, "what would you do?"

"We'd all go to the aquarium and jump in the shark tank!"

"That's just what I want to hear!" Sonata jumped for joy. This was great! No having to share with that grouch Aria or her bossy big sis. She wondered where they were and decided it didn't matter. She'd just have the studio cut their pay in half afterwards.

Besides, she had a pair of dragons. Well, young dragons for now but she had an idea.

A perfectly wonderful, horrible, awful idea.

"Everyone, I want you to meet two more of my very best special friends," She turned to the pair. "Spike the Silly Dragon and Smolder the Happy Dragon!" Spike, waved, forgot to fly as he did (as she'd ordered), and slammed face-first to the floor. He got back up, his eyes rolling. The kids laughed. Smolder looked at Spike and her smile froze on her face. Sonata cleared her throat. Smolder ignored Spike and gracefully bowed to everyone like a pretty and mindless little doll. Sonata waved the mike. "And there might be a third one later!"

Where was that big red idiot Garble, anyway? Somewhere in the theater she thought she heard a gagging sound. Spike and Smolder waved again as everyone cheered like the perfect little thralls they were.

"Now, most dragons need treasure to get big and strong," she squared her shoulders and mimed stomping back and forth across the stage. As the kids laughed she said, "But not Smolder and Spike! They're like Windy. Remember her?" Across the screen  behind her flashed some of the footage from the 'Windy' holiday special, with Windy freezing the mean nasty ponies who wanted everyone to be miserable so only they could be happy. "Windy gets stronger when people are happy, and so do these two silly lizards." The dragons winced but kept smiling.

"Anyway," Sonata pointed at her pets with one hand as with the other she gripped the Memory Stone fragment, calling on its now-distorted power to warp reality. "Let's be happy for them!"

The kids cheered and focused as much as possible on being happy for the two goofy-looking little dragons.

Sonata felt that happiness come in, pure raw power and nothing else. She focused it into the stone fragment, 'aimed' it at Smolder and Spike.

She let it go, let it war their magical biology into what she wanted it to be. Sure, might be some side effects, but nothing she couldn't handle. Right?

And before the delighted eyes of the kids and the stunned eyes of their parents and elder siblings, the dragons began to grow.

***

In the control booth for the show, the show's producer and director stared in disbelief as the two little people in dragon costumes (That was what they were. Right?) doubled and then tripled in height to twelve feet tall, bending the fanged and horned heads on their long necks to avoid hitting the ceiling.

"Uh..." Filthy Rich rubbed his eyes and looked again. "You're the director, Zoom. How the heck did she do that?"

"Special effects." Canter Zoom cleaned his glasses and looked again. "Right?"

***

"Okay, that can't be good," Sunset looked up at the two near-adult dragons from where she stood below the stage together with the 'Elements of Chaos'.

"Ugh!" Garble shuddered, closing his eyes and wincing. "I always thought greed growth was the worst. But happy growth?" He mimed sticking a claw down his throat before he gathered himself and threw his chest out. "Okay, now I haveta save Smolder. And, ugh, that pony-loving punk Spike too. Even he's too much of a dragon ta deserve this!"

"You say we have stop her, but how?" Diamond Tiara half, but only half, hid behind Gilda ad Starlight. "She doesn't even notice us!"

Before anyone could come up with any ideas Trixie pushed her way to the edge of the stage.

"Trixie knows how to do this." She smiled coldly. "She knows the one things all performers hate."

Gilda rolled her eyes. "And that is?"

She looked uneasy at the wicked smile Trixie returned her.

"Hecklers." She cuopped her hands and managed to yell in a tone precisely calculated to cut through the music and cheers like a knife. "Hey, has-been! Tone deaf! Trixie is talking to you!" Sonata glared and Smolder and Spike growled as Trixie yelled, "Trixie and her cohorts..."

"Cohorts!?!" Starlight the pony and Starlight the human both said it as one. From the latter's I-pad screen, Screwball the AI humphed in disgust.

Trixie ignored them. "Have seen better shows by drunken birthday clowns! Overgrown geckos? Another crappy holiday cartoon and songs that are barely even in tune? Let us up there and we'll give these people a REAL show!"

"You, you shut! Up!" Sonata screamed and tossed the mike down. She whistled like someone calling dogs. "Spike! Smolder! You two be good enforcers and," she stabbed a finger at the 'Elements of Chaos' and shrieked at the top of her lungs, so angry the veins in her eyes were visible, "GET RID OF THOSE BIG MEANY JERKS!"

Snarling and hissing, Smolder and Spike stepped up to do their mistress' bidding.

Session 90.23 Mtangalion

Spike and Smolder lumbered towards them, grinning maws full of sharp fangs, headfins scraping the ceiling, and floor tiles caving in and shattering beneath their huge paws. Smolder grabbed a half-dozen studio lights with one sweep of her paw, twisted them up like wire hangers, and tossed them aside without even slowing down.

Garble gulped. “We… we should fall back! Well, come on, idiots, let’s get outta here!”

Starlight was gawking at him. “*You* want to turn tail and run? Who are you, and what did you do with Garble?”

The red dragon scowled. “Hey, if there’s one thing a dragon knows better than any other creature, it’s that you don’t mess with another dragon who’s bigger and stronger than you are.”

“Oh, is that so?” said Starlight. “Funny how that never stopped Spike from standing up to *you*.”

Garble opened his maw and raised a claw… and froze. “Wha… but that’s… Well, it’s not like we ever had a *fair* fight. Yeah, yeah that’s right! He always had his pony friends getting in the way, or Dragon Lord Ember… or he tricked me! Real dragons settle things with their fists!”

Trixie patted Garble on the shoulder. “Well, here’s your chance, big guy. Go get him!”

Garble snarled, taking one step forward… and then he stopped, looking up and up at Spike. “Aw, crap...”

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?
What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 90.0 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 90.1 Mtangalion
Session 90.2 Unown3
Session 90.3 Kendell2
Session 90.4 Jarkes
Session 90.5 Ardashir
Session 90.6 Unown3
Session 90.7 Mtangalion with an edit
Session 90.8 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 90.9 Ardashir
Session 90.10 Grogar-the-oneser edits made
Session 90.11 Unown3
Session 90.12 Unown3
Session 90.13 Ardashir
Session 90.14 Mtangalion
Session 90.15 Kendell2
Session 90.16 Unown3
Session 90.17 Unown3
Session 90.18 Unown3
Session 90.19 Ardashir
Session 90.20 Unown3
Session 90.21 Mtangalion
Session 90.22 Ardashir
Session 90.23 Mtangalion

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Cover art by QueenCold

https://www.deviantart.com/queencold/art/Tiamat-787212381

Session 91

Session 91.0 Ardashir and Unown3

Mean Fluttershy asked, "Wait, now we're SAVING this stupid town?!"

Mean Twilight snorted, "We're not saving the town, we're trying to stop that stupid music!"

Brainwashed marching ponies sang, "This song's gonna get stuck inside your head!"

Mean Pinkie hissed, "I hate cheesy ear worm songs!"

Mean Applejack with Cotton shoved in her ears said, "Ah think it's the best thing Ah ever heard!"

Mean Rarity said, "I'd be imagining how many bits the singer is raking in if the music didn't make me want to vomit."

Mean Dash snarled, "Shut that manure off so I can get back to sleep!"

The brainwashed Scootaloo cheered, "Dash! You said a naughty word!"

Brainwashed Apple Bloom hip-hopped. "We'll fix you!"

Mean Dash said darkly, "I wish someone had fixed your fathers before they touched your --" And Mean Dash got a piece of soap shoved into her mouth.

Brainwashed Sweetie Belle sang, "Ah-ah-ah, language!"

Meanwhile Sludge is probably wandering around the Friendship School looking for Spike so he can apologize. In the middle of all that he's apologizing to any of the ponies he conned.

Brainwashed Sludge said, "So, blondie, sorry about the time I drank all that cider in your barn and told you the blue girl did it."

Brainwashed Applejack nodded. "Oh, heck, Sludge, thet's okay! Ah'm sorry for all o' th' times Ah kicked ya inta a wall an' pretended it weren't nothing personal."

Brainwashed Sludge: "Yeah. LET'S HUG!" Both did so, sobbing.

-

Princess Twilight Sparkle meanwhile looked out her window, "Wow! This Heart Song is really getting everypony together! I knew this friendship school was going to fix everything! Soon me and my friends will all have nice comfy boring safe soulless administrative jobs, while our more ethnically diverse and marketable students will be going on fun adventures instead!"

Pinkie Pie said, "Or maybe the show will end before that so we can finally retire and live our lives without having to worry about a disaster hitting every three minutes!" Pinkie imagined finally catching up on all the sleep she'd missed over the past decade. "Ahhhhh." She said with a smile. Then added. "Though that song outside is kinda making it impossible for anypony to take a nap... "

Brainwashed Applejack called out with while hugging Sludge, "Come on out Twili'."

Brainwashed Rainbow Dash fluttered her wings, "The music's fun sing along!"

"Yay! I will!" Twilight raced outside. Rather, a little filly version of Twilight did so. "I feel so happy, I just want to be a filly again. I hope Spike is as happy right now as I am!" She and the other ponies began to sing along as one:

"Good is better than bad!"
"Glad is better than sad!"
"Take my advice and just be nice,
'Cause good is better than bad!"

The song spread across Equestria and beyond, even to a hideout being used by an ex-Changeling Queen.

"Yay!" Chubby little Vordul danced, the floor shaking under his feet. "Fun happy song!"

"Come on, Mom!" Imago danced as well. "I swear this isn't another assassination attempt! I'm too happy to kill even you!"

Queen Chrysalis sobbed in the corner. "What did I ever do to deserve this sugary Tartarus?"

Session 91.1 Unown3

The human Rainbow Dash, with her wings showing, remarked idly in this moment of doom and fate of the world, "Ya know... you think we'd react with a 'she must have brainwashed you!' when they told us the key this time to defeat the negativity feed sirens was 'anti-harmony'."

Pinkie Pie nodded. "Oh that's easy! We're all so tired of having to deal with the sirens' latest scheme to take over the world, that we just didn't want to deal with that."

Rainbow Dash said carefully, "Ooookay, I GUESS that makes sense... but since when we are just bystanders to this sorta thing? Shouldn't be we summoning giant magical horses out of the sky now?"

Sonata shouted eagerly, "Oh no! Don't do that! It'll completely ruin my fun time if you do that!"

Sunset Shimmer said, "So do we trust our friends? Or do we believe that SONATA isn't very good at deception?"

As the random people that the PONY and GRIFFIN Starlight Glimmer and Gilda had brought together... with Garble looking up to be stomped into nothing before the cheering crowd of children...

Starlight said, "I think I recognize some of those kids in the audience... wait a minute, is that Sandbar and the others?!"

Before much else could happen, a copter drone with a Crystal Soft logo on it zoomed in and dropped some familiar eye patches to the chaos six.

Garble asked ignorantly. "What are these things?"

Human Diamond Tiara responded like she was handling toxic waste, "AGH! These things?! We all got mutated into monsters with these things when we played that AR Moba game!"

Screwball shouted from her virtual space, "I FIXED THEM! I did a quick rush job on them! Put them on, and I'll be there in the AR space, and fill up the chaos meter, and we'll get a chaos blast to negate her exaggerated-harmony brainwashing!"

= SAO The Movie - "Catch The Moment!" =

Seeing Garble was about to be stomped into nothing by the grinning happy and painfully brightly colored dragons... The six chaotic beings put on the AR eye patches.

IN the corner of their vision was a mostly empty 'Chaos Blast' meter.

Screwball appeared, dressed as, of course, a wild mage.

Diamond Tiara appeared appeared as an archer with a silver bow.

What did the others' appear as in the augmented reality vision?

Session 91.2 Ardashir

"Yeesh. Am I supposed ta think this silly thing even works?" Gilda still put her patch on. "What, now am I supposed to be a pirate like those wannabes the Ornithians?"

Unknown to her, in the patch she appeared as a pirate, a cutlass-toting, tricorne-wearing, captain's jacket wearing pirate.

"Actually, Gilda?" Starlight the human looked at her own image and saw a wild-eyed alchemist mad bomber, dressed in longcoat with bottles and smoldering long matches hanging from every pocket. "Oh, now that's just a nasty stereotype!"

"Hah!" Trixie enjoyed the sight of herself -- a glamorous witch, a lovely mistress of magic who could enchant anyone's senses. "Now this is what Trixie should have had the last time!" She patted her new silver wand with a sigh. "Finally someone gets the great and powerful Trixie."

"Hey! All right!" Garble rose up. He didn't question how the patch he wore did what it did, but he enjoyed the image it showed him. Garble the Dragon Brawler, strongest and toughest of dragons. "Now this is sweet! Now I know why those two little dorks like playing that goofy human game."

"Sweeties?" Sonata called to her two dragons. "Okay, like, Mistress of the Universe Sonata needs to keep the kiddies entertained until I rule the world. So just hurry up and destroy those meanies while I do that. Okay?" She turned to the audience and noticed their looks of sudden fear and suspicion. She laughed and waved. "All just part of the show! Just remember, cheer for the happy dragons and not the bad guys!" She felt the Memory Stone fragment as she did, not noticing how it sparkled wildly as she did. The audience laughed and cheered.

"Hey!" Starlight the pony yelled. "Since when are we the bad guys?" She dodged aside as a massive claw stomped down. "Spike! Smolder! We're your friends, you can remember that, right?"

Spike and Smolder looked down and remembered...

"YOU TELL US DRAGON WAYS BAD!" Spike roared, his voice rocking the stage. Sonata raised her voice as she sang.

"SO WE TRY ACT LIKE NOT-DRAGONS. THEN YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT THAT!" Smolder hissed. "We're gonna squish you for Mistress Sonata! And maybe for Norman," Smolder sighed and looked dreamy. Spike gave her a slap on the back of the head. Smolder hurriedly added, "Not that I like him!"

"Ugh, a dragon and a human?" Garble stuck out his tongue and made gagging noises. "That's just sick and wrong!"

Starlight the Human tossed some of her smoke bombs to distract Spike as he lowered his muzzle to snap at Garble. The smaller dragon jumped back as she said, "Talk about inter-species relations later. For now, how about some ideas on how to stop a pair of angry dragons?"

Smolder and Spike stepped forward, ready to breathe fire.

Session 91.3 Mtangalion

In the deepest, darkest, bleakest pits of Tartarus… a strange little mechanical cart with wheels and a television screen was playing the Singing Siren show for the inmates. Pixelated icons of smiley faces hugging and crying flashed on the edges of the screen. “Query,” whirred a mechanical voice. “Is this what it means… to truly be alive?’”

Tirek wiped away tears of his own, then blew his nose in a handkerchief, honking loudly. “Oh, this is mind control most devious and foul,” he said, with a gentle smile. “And yet, how many thousands of years has it been since I knew such… such joy! Joy that doesn’t come from crushing innocents beneath my hooves and sucking the very life out of them! It was worth succumbing for this one moment of true happiness. Don’t you think so, child?”

Cozy Glow turned her nose up in a huff. “I don’t think so at all, not one teensy weensy bit! This show stinks, and whoever made it should have something really bad happen to them!”

Lord Tirek blinked. “Gods above and below… You really *are* evil.”

Session 91.4 Kendell2

"So wait, in this RPG we're wrestlers fighting...what now?" asked Rainbow Dash, looking at the box which depicted a luchadore in a silver mask fighting vamponies, werewolves, and numerous other things.

"Pretty much anything you want," said Cherry Blossom with a smirk. "It's based off El Saneighto, one of the greatest luchadores to have ever lived. He had this REALLY long running series of movies where he fought everything from Count Dracolt to Maretians. Guy was a great guy in real life too, I've met his son and grandson."

"Cool...so did the real guy actually FIGHT those things?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"What? You think the guy went on all these epic adventures, fighting monsters, and then said 'hey, I'll turn my secret adventures into movies'? Come on, who would believe that?" Cherry asked.

Rainbow Dash chuckled nervously. "Yeah...who would...right, AK?"

AK Yearling merely nodded simply. "Yeah...who would..."

"Though...uh...didn't his son and one of his friends show up in one of your books...helping Daring fight an ancient evil mummy?"

"Yep..."

"Thought so..."

OOC: Yes, all those movies exist.

Session 91.5 Unown3

"Snap everybody out of this so we can get back to playing WoH with our friends already!" Rainbow Dash shouted.

-

Meanwhile on the other side of the mirror, the mean six found an equal but opposite power to the tree of harmony glowing from themselves as well.

Session 91.6 Grogar-the-oneser

"OH man, they're going to die hard and I don't mean watching the movie die hard, I mean death by dragon." Pinkie winced.

"Wait... one of those giant dragons is the equestrian Spike right." Rarity said.

"Yeah... Oh no." Applejack stated.

"Afraid so deary, Hopefully, this will work..." Rarity gulped "By the way... Applejack, I really did enjoy making caramel apple with you." All the other girls (Minus Applejack) groaned, not wanting to remember their adventure against the lamest villain ever.

"Rarity wait-" Applejack stated, however, Rarity ran forward and manage to get between everyone and the dragons.

Spike seeing Rarity, stopped his attack and lunged a hand forward to forcefully closed Smolder mouth.

Smolder cheek bulge from the flame before dissipating "WHAT WAS THAT FOR!"

"THAT RARITY THERE."

"NOT YOUR RARITY MORON!" Smolder growled.

"I KNOW BUT-"

"NO BUT! WE MUST ATTACK FOR MISTRESS!" Smolder bellowed.

"BUT WHAT IF NORMAN OR GIRLFRIEND OF NORMAN BLOCK."

"WHAT THE- WHY YOU ADD GIRLFRIEND?"

"TRY TO KEEP OPEN MIND!" Spike shrugged, Smolder, realizing what he suggested, slapped him upside the head.

"Err... Should we do something?" Human starlight asked

"And have the firebreathing dragons of death kill us? Only a complete imbecile-" Starlight began to say only for Garble to fly up and punch Spike in the ear. "... Nevermind."

Session 91.7 Ardashir

"Okay," Human-Starlight said. "So we know what's going to distract these two. Where is that Norman kid?"

"I'll get him," Aria headed off into the enthralled crowd, muttering, "No way am I living with Sonata's gloating over us for the rest of our lives."

Meanwhile Spike snarled and grabbed for Garble, The red dragon dodged and flew at his muzzle.

"Spike!" Garble grabbed the huge dragon by the ear membranes on either side of his head and hung on, hanging right in front of his eyes. "Yeesh, I knew you were a pony-loving wimp, but this? Letting that overgrown halibut tell you what to do?"

"HEY!" Sonata yelled, waving her microphone at him menacingly. "That's not very nice!" She smiled at her dragons. "And what do we do to people who aren't nice?"

"DESTROY!" Spike and Smolder roared. The latter opened her mouth to breathe fire, only to stop as Aria plonked the stunned Norman down in front of her. He looked up at the gigantic Smolder and cringed.

"Why am I here?!?" He yelled.

"Bait," Aria said. "So try and look fetching." She jerked her thumb at Smolder, who's eyes glowed with a new light as she snatched Norman up.

"MY NOT-BOYFRIEND!" Smolder roared gleefully as she nuzzled him. Norman just looked horrified.

"Spike," Garble yanked on Spike's ear membranes to get his attention. Spike kept growling as he said, "Listen ta me. You are a dragon! I mean, yeah, you were raised by puny pathetic ponies, and you never went hungry a day in your life, and you were never tossed out of the lair by your parents when you hit your Molt, and you never had to fight for your life against rocs and tatzylworms and hydras that wanted ta eat ya because ponies made you a lazy butterball..."

"Don't praise us too much," Starlight pinned her ears.

"But darn it, you're a dragon! Dragons don't get mind controlled! Now act like one!" Spike pointed a claw at Sonata. "Get that fish!"

"For the last time!" Sonata's eyes blazed as she stomped her foot, "I am not a fi -- Ummph!" Her words were choked off as Gilda shoved the mask of the Singing Siren down over her head.

"Hah!" Gilda flew back to her fellow Elements of Chaos. "Now what, we do some goofy roll call and zap her?"

"Not quite," Starlight said as magical energy visible in the patches began to glow around Gilda, Diamond, human-Starlight, Garble, Trixie, and Screwball. Unlike the magic of harmony and friendship, these colors clashed against each other like jagged bolts of lightning, mixing and mingling violently yet somehow staying distinct. "We just need a few moments more."

Meanwhile Spike looked from Garble and the human Rarity to Sonata as she stumbled around the stage, yelling all sorts of very not-nice things from under the mask. With a growl he made his decision.

"Get this thing offa my head already!" Sonata sighed as someone yanked the mask off. "Ugh, finally! Now I have too command those dumb pet dragons of mine to eat those --" She gulped to see her mask hanging from the claw of an angry Spike. "Rats. You're not gonna listen, are you?"

"SPIKE IS DRAGON." He set his claw on Sonata and pressed her flat against the stage with a shriek. 'DRAGONS NOT DO MIND-CONTROLLED SLAVERY!"

"That's right," Garble cheered as the chaos energy swirling around him and the others. It jittered and blazed and hurled itself at the Memory Stone fragment around Sonata's neck like a starving tiger.

Sonata saw it coming and summed up her opinion of the entire scenario in a few words as it hit.

"Aw, crap."

[OOC: Maybe someone else can write the post-battle results?]

Session 91.8 Jarkes (one line added)

"Well, since that other Twilight was just pretending to be brainwawshed, I'm guessing this tape wouldn't have actually helped us," Aria mused. "Wonder what was actually on it..." She pressed the "play" button.

Never gonna give you up,
Never gonna let you down...

Aria immediately pressed "stop", took the tape out, and threw it at the wall, breaking it. "Ugh..."

-

Meanwhile, a similar shockwave of chaos rippled through Ponyville from the Mean Six, disrupting Sonata's exaggerated harmony.

Session 91.9 Mtangalion

The last thing they saw was the Memory Stone fragment dissolving into the storm of chaos… before the whole studio blew up with the colors of ten disco raves and the sound of a hundred vuvuzelas playing full blast.

When Garble’s ears stopped ringing, he groaned, picking himself up off the floor. “What the… Whoa!” The young red dragon gawked at himself, realizing that he still had the supercharged body of Garble the Dragon Brawler. “Hah, yes! Chaos rocks! Riches and hot dragon babes, here I come!”

“What happened?” murmured a familiar voice… two or three octaves lower than it should have been. “Did we win?”

Garble’s jaw dropped at the sight of Spike. “Aw, come on!” he whined. “Why is Spike still bigger than me!?”

Spike lifted a scaly musclebound arm and scratched the back of his neck sheepishly, no longer scraping the ceiling but still pretty dang big. “Beats me! I kinda wish I was that Spike the Dragon Mage character instead. Oh, and uh… thanks for saving me again, Garble.”

“Pfft, don’t make a big deal out of it.” Garble shrugged, arms folded. “I wasn’t about to let any loser sirens take MY dragon pal away.”

Spike smirked. “Your dragon pal, huh? You’re not getting greedy, are you?”

Garble blinked. “I don’t feel greedy. Huh… what kind of weird feeling is this? It’s kinda like a hot lava bath?”

“You know, that’s probably friendship.”

“Don’t push it!”

“Okay, what the squawk?” said Gilda nearby. She still looked like an Equestrian griffon, but she’d picked up aurora colors steaming from her wings, a constellation in her crest, and a comet tail. “Ugh, why couldn’t I just get BIG like Garulf? Somebody tell me how to turn this light show off before some idiot tries to crown me.”

“You think you’ve got problems?” said the human Diamond Tiara, now a cute and mischievous-looking Abyssinian kitten. “Nothing in my wardrobe goes with fur! I’ll need a whole new one. I just hope daddy’s credit card is up to the challenge.”

“I’m not panicking,” said the human Twilight… in the form of a kirin. “I’m not panicking, I’m not… Nope, totally panicking!” Her new body briefly exploded with raging nirik flames… which fortunately startled her out of it.

“I really don’t know how to feel about this,” said human Starlight. She and Trixie were anthropomorphic ponies, still dressed as a mad alchemist and a witch, respectively.

Smolder was mostly back to her normal dragon self… and glomping the young dragon that used to be Norman the human. “Dibs!”

“I don’t think so, scalebutt!” yelled Blueberry Cake, who had *also* become a young dragon. Norman promptly fainted.

“Good is better than bad!” cheered Sonata the hippogriff, giggling madly. “Glad is better than sad!” In a flash of magic, she became a seapony, flopping helplessly on the studio floor. “Weeee!” Back to a hippogriff again… Seapony… hippogriff… Seapony...

“Master, look at me!” barked Smolder the former puppy, now a human girl with orange skin, ear fins, and slit-pupiled eyes. “I have the hands, and the talking! Isn’t it wonderful, Master Gallus?” She hugged the startled blue-skinned boy tightly.

The human versions of Yuna, Ocellus, Silverstream, and Sandbar smirked at them, trying not to burst out laughing.

“I suppose I should get started trying to fix all this,” mused pony Starlight, feeling grateful to still be nothing any stranger than a unicorn pony on the wrong side of the portal. “If I even can.”

“Or…” said the human Pinkie Pie, “we could go to the mall nextdoor for some Hooray, We Saved the World Again ice cream!”

“That sounds really irresponsible...” Starlight grinned. “Let’s do it!”

Session 91.10 Mtangalion

"Um, guys?" said the voice of Screwball. "And gals and other assorted fuzzy scaly cuties? I thought I'd be able to merge a lot more of this stuff into reality, but the Augmented Reality field is destabilizing really super fast!" Her tablet showed a white wolf icon, which was sweeping back and forth across the screen, gobbling up computer code like Pac-Man. "Sorry!"

The AR eyepatches glowed, revealed as hard-light constructs, and promptly de-rezed. Everything around them SHATTERED, revealing the actual reality beneath.

"Oh, thank goodness!" cried Twilight, happy to have fingers again.

Garble patted himself down, NOT finding crazy barbarian muscles. "Aww..." he groaned.

Smolder the dragon blinked at the human couple of Norman and Blueberry Cake. "Aww..."

"Cheer up, guys," said Spike, putting an arm around each of them. "I think we all got a bit of a growth spurt out of this, at least.

Smolder did a mild double-take, discovering that Spike was the same height as her, and finally looking more like a teen dragon instead of a baby with wings. "Hah! Now that's more like what I expected from a first molt."

"Told ya those ponies have been holding you back," said Garble, grinning smugly.

Across the room, Smolder the puppy sat up and said, "Wow, that was really strange!" Gallus and his classmates all yelped, startled. Smolder wagged her tail innocently. "What?"

"Well..." said Screwball. "At least daddy won't get another big fine." An ominous sound like a wolf howling echoed through the studio. "Um, Miss Twilight? You *might* want to make another one of those portals and get our Equestria friends back home. Like, NOW."

"But, ice cream!" pleaded Gilda the definitely not-a-goddess-or-princess griffon, who'd been about to go to the mall with Dash and the others.

"NO TIME FOR ICE CREAM!"

"So, what do we do about Sonata?" asked Applejack.

"I'M TELLING YOU SIR, THEY WERE HUGE! SCALEY AND MASSIVE!"

"I have no idea idea what he is talking about," the human Gilda stated, glad that her dogs went back to normal.

Session 91.11 Unown3

Filly Funtasia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filly_Funtasia https://www.funtasiadaily.com

"Light constructs?" Cedric asked, sitting calmly at his spot, "Were they brought in to our party with one of those little flying machines?"

"THEY WERE DELIVERED HARD LIGHT CONSTRUCTS!" Rose snapped behind the Game Master screen, feeling a headache going on. This adventure had gone on for way too long, and due to some bad rolls and poor choices, Sonata had made a lot more progress than Rose had intended. Rose admitted it made little sense, she just hoped Will and Lynn didn't exploit it at some point.

"Hold on!" Lynn The Witch Filly said at the gaming table... the horde of magical figurines on the table showing Sonata on her side toppled over in the miniature mall/studio (it seemed to switch around halfway through the final encounter as Bella The Elf Filly had gotten frosting on her notes!).

"Yes Lynn?" Rose The Unicorn sighed, wondering what new Rule Lawyering Lynn was going to throw at her.

"I think Winona, should stay a dragon in the human world, a baby dragon!"

"... Okay, Winona sees this ghostly wolf and-"

"WAIT! WAIT! It's about cosmic balance!"

Rose looked at her dully. "Cosmic balance? Really?"

"Yeah! I mean! Spike is a dragon in the pony world, and a dog in the human world, so if Winona is a dog in the pony world, wouldn't it make sense if she was a baby dragon in the human world?"

Cedric, their blue boy pony said, "Uh, I hate to say it Rose... but Lynn makes a good point."

"Et tu Cedric?!"

"Yeah! That's totally cool!" Will grinned.

Rose has never quite forgiven Will for introducing his 'diamond wolves' to her campaign without her permission, forcing her to play their culture by ear... Rose wondered if Will was inspired by Bella's Ice Elf Filly cousins.).

Rose never intended for the human world to get this infested with magic... it had simply crept in. Rose groaned. "FINE! But the rest are going back to normal!"

Session 91.6 Grogar-the-oneser (EDITED)!

"Uhh guys... where is Sonata?" Sunset asked everyone looked and noticed the sirens were gone.

"I don't feel good." Sonata groaned as Aria dragged her and Adagio outside.

"Yeah, suffering magical whiplash will do that ya." Aria snorted annoyed "Just be glad that howling recognizes we belong here more or less."

"Why are the Fillies from Filly Funtasia playing Magic and Monsters with us as their pawns?" Sonata said dazedly, this made Aria sighed annoyed.

"So I'm guessing your next." Adagio groaned to Aria.

That made Aria paused "Pardon?"

"My plans failed, her plan failed, that just leaves you."

"... Let just focus on leaving first, I rather not find out what threads are still dangling out there. If we're lucky we can spin this to CrystalSoft as a publicity stunt!" Aria muttered as she continues dragging them away.

"Me Winona! LET WINONA IN!" The baby dragon Winona whined pawing at the door pathetically.

"Sorry can't trust you, equestrian magic proven way too tricky for my taste," Big Mac stated.

"But didn't you say before in the flavor text that human Big Mac and Granny Smith didn't find anything strange at all with Winona being a big dragon-"

Lynn saw the death glare that Rose gave her.

"Shutting up Game Master Madam!"

Session 91.7 Kendell2

Back at the Age of Gods game, Zecora stepped up to prevent Trixie from ruining the game before it could even start.

"My Goddess shall be, of something very close to me. Dawa is her name, Healing and Alchemy is her game. Helping doctor's, healers, and potion makers are her worshipers, she enjoys making them greater," the Zebra explained, showing a picture of a beautiful and kind looking Zebralicorn. "If I had to give her an alignment I would, choose to make her Neutral Good."

"A good choice, Zecora," said Twilight, grateful for the Zebra's tact there. "Suits you."

Zecora gave a content nod.

"So do Zebralicorns actually exist or did they make that up?" Trixie asked.

The Zebra looked a tiny bit offended. "Yes, indeed they do, have you not read of Queen Parabola in Daring Do?"

"That was real? Trixie thought everything was fictional..."

Twilight gave a nervous smile, eyes darting back and forth. "Well Daring Do is fictional, but Yearling does her research really really well..."

"Alright, my turn," said Shining with a smile. "Defensor, the God of Defense and Protection. Acts as a guardian of everyone, keeping people safe and acting as the patron of guards and knights. And protective big brothers and dads."

Twilight smiled. "Nice, suits you, big brother."

"Thanks, Twiley. Lawful Good by the way."

The Princess nodded. "Alright, gotcha. Makes sense. Who's next?"

Session 91.14 Unown3

Minor spoilers for Equestria Girls Spring Breakdown:

Rarity in her best dress looked around. "I was expecting more to turn up for this charity date auction."

Pinkie Pie looked up from a book, "Heyyyyy! Did you know the word for 'possessive' and 'loving' are the same in the dragon language?"

-

The lower-class-charming stallion Rag Muffin ran away screaming, flames shooting behind him.

Spike sat on top of the Boutique, smoke coming out of his nose. "Thank you coming! I'll see you in Tartarus!"

Session 91.15 Grogar-the-oneser and Unown3

Spike points at a giant pile of treasure. "THat's my bidding fee for my date with Rarity..."

"Spike... where did that come from?"

"Turns out becoming Dragon Lord comes with a coronation bonus... never spent any of it... all yours Rarity..."

-

"OWOWOWOWOW!" Rainbow Dash shrieked as Applejack slapped her repeatedly "Stop hitting me!"

"YOU LITERALLY CAUSE A CATASTROPHE CAUSE YOU WERE BORED!" Applejack snapped "Seriously, What were you thinking!"

"... That i was bored?" Rainbow stated, not getting the question.

Session 91.16 Jarkes and Unown3

"Halt, evildoers!" Juniper ran up to where everyone was after the defeat of the Sirens. "I, Juniper Montage, have arrived to..." She halted, noting that everything was already over. "OH, COME ON!"

(OOC: Just wanted to make Juniper trying to help, only to be unable to for one reason or another a running gag)

"There's just one thing I don't get," Sunset asked Sci-Twi. "How were you able to fake being brainwashed so easily?"

"Well, when you spent years having to fake happiness due to an oppressive atmosphere at Crystal Prep, you get pretty good at it," Sci-Twi said, weirdly still smiling while saying this.

Awkward silence.

"Ouch," Rainbow Dash said.

--

Rose said behind the Game Master Screen, "And the ad hoc Elements of Chaos go out for ice-cream and pizza together! And no, I am NOT role-playing that!" Willow's idea for the 'Elements of Chaos' was something Rose hadn't even considered... but it was so IN THE RULES of everything she'd established for how magic worked in her setting, she couldn't argue with it!

"But what about the human student six in the audience and-" Cedric started.

"THEY ALSO WENT OUT FOR ICE-CREAM! EVERYBODY WENT OUT FOR ICE-CREAM!"

Session 91.17 sonicandmario826

*meanwhile sometime before season 8 spoilers for Spring Breakdown*

“YOU BROUGHT EVERYONE THROUGH THE PORTAL!!!”, Princess Twilight screamer looking at the very nervous Sunset Shimmer and the rest of the humans turned to ponies.

“Heh, well the ship sort of sunk after stopping the Storm King and we had no way to get back home, so we honestly had no way to get back home.”, Sunset said as she scratched the back of her head.

Twilight groaned responding with, ”Do you realize the panic that’s going to happen when ponies start seeing double.”

“Don’t worry I got everybody here without being seen. All we have to do is go to the nitro an-*crack*

Sunset was interrupted by a loud cracking sound. The ponies and human in pony forms rushed to the room of the mirror and gasped at the sight before them. The mirror back to Canterlot High had a large noticeable crack in the center.

Sunset gaped at the mirror with wide eyes. Finally breaking the silence by saying, “What they hat just happened!!!”

“Maybe the magic from the Storm King combined by everyone going through other portal somehow affected the mirror?” Princess Twilight offered a guess. “At least it’s only a crack. Me, You, and Starlight should be able to fix it.” She sighed when she realized something. “Unfortunately due to how delicate and complicated dimensional mirrors are it’s going to take a while to fix. It’s going to take days... maybe even weeks to fix.”

“What are all of us supposed to do in the mean time!!”, said Twilight with the glasses on.

“Well, I don’t know about you guys, but I’m going to see if the other me is as awesome as I am.”, Rainbow Dash with her wings drooping to the ground said before rushing out of the room.”

“Rainbow wait!!!”, Princess Twilight yelled about ready to go after her until....

“Wait Twilight!!!”, a voice stopped Twilight. She looked to see a familiar orange Pegasus with blue hair. Blushing when she noticed he was with the group.

“Oh.. heh... you’re the Flash from Canterlot High r-right?”, Twilight stammered not understanding why she was so nervous. She talked to pony Flash without any problems, why was it different now?

“Uhhh.. yeah?, Flash responded confused. “What does she mean with ‘the Flash’?” He thought before saying, “I know it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other and your probly can’t work because of the long distance between us, but I was wondering since we have the opportunity now that maybe we can talk or do something together.” Flash said nervously.

Twilight just stood there blushing.

“I think you might have broke her.” Pinkie said looking at her friend.

Outside of the castle of friendship a certain draconequus floated nearby chuckling. “It would be no fun if they just went back, besides there’s a lot of Chaos to have with dimensional all counterparts meeting each other.”

(There set it up. Now please someone do something with this)

Session 91.18 Wolfram-And-Hart

The humans turned ponies meandered around the castle, trying to get their bearings on their new bodies.

"Ah don't care if it's on two or four legs, Ah'm just glad to be back on solid ground." Applejack sighed in relief.

"Yeah, I'm glad to be off the boat too." Ragamuffin aggreed.

Fluttershy and Pinkie looked between the two orange, freckled, blonde earth ponies.

"Yeah, it's still weird." Fluttershy muttered.

"I never thought we'd get a canon Rule 63. Though, he doesn't have the same accent, so I guess it doesn't count" Pinkie Pie shrugged. "Also, Rarity, why are you hiding behind the chairs?"

"Because, in case you haven't noticed, girls." Raroty looked around the room fearfully. "We. Are. Naked!"

"Oh yeah." Pinkie Pie said, looking at herself. "Kinda forgot about that."

"Rarity, it's all right." Fluttershy went over to her. "It's not like the parts we usually need covered are visible anyway."

Unfortunately, Micro Chips picked that moment to trot by, looking desperatly at the ceiling and muttering to himself. "Don't look at the naked pony girls, Don't look at the naked pony girls..."

"You were saying?!" Rarity screeched as she ducked behind the painting Spike had failed to hang.

"Actually, now that I take a look, how come we all got tattoos?" Pinkie asked. "Do ponies naturally come with tramp stamps?"

"No, Pinkie Pie, those are what we call cutie marks." Sunset explained.

"I like that! Cutie marks on our cutie patooties!" Pinkie giggled. "Hey, we should call them cutie patootie marks instead!"

"Let's not." Sunset deadpanned.

"OH MY GOSH!" Bulk Biceps yelled as he zoomed past Sunset to look at himself in the mirror. "I'M A PEGASUS! LOOK AT MY WINGS!"

He did a series of flexes and poses in front of the mirror as his tiny wings flapped.

"SO MAJESTIC!"

Session 91.19 MtangaLion and Ardashir

EG!Dash asked, "You know what this means?!?"

Pony:Dash answered, "Yeah, now the universe is TWICE AS AWESOME!" Both hoofbumped.

Outside of the Castle of Friendship, a certain draconequus floated nearby, chuckling. “It would be no fun if they just went back. Besides, there’s plenty of Chaos to be had with all the counterparts meeting each other.”

Time Turner tapped his hoof at Discord impatiently. "Well, are you finished? Got your bit all done? Narrative focus gone and bothered off someplace else?"

Discord stroked his beard. "Yes! Well, no, actually. The Narrative is still here. Apparently, now we're doing a bit, together!"

The Time Pony blinked. "What? What?! That's not right. No, I'm afraid that doesn't sound proper at all. This isn't even my show!"

"Oh, cry me a river," said Discord peevishly. "You love the attention, don't deny it."

"Fine..." Time Turner sighed, adjusting his bow tie. "So, we're in the past?"

Discord grinned sharply. "You're a lot quicker on the uptake than most of these mortal dullards."

"But this, right now, is happening... er, right now? Only right now is before the whole School of Friendship thing, and Spike getting his wings?" Time Turner put his hooves together, somehow miming flapping wings without having any hands. "Oh, that's brilliant. Unless... no... what if that was just an animation error, and we're in the present after all and Spike was meant to have wings all along?"

Discord waggled a claw. "At times like these, I refer to Discord's Razor!"

"Discord's Razor, is it?"

"The simplest explanation... is the most boring one. I don't do *boring*."

Rainbow Dash shook her head at the draconequus and the earth pony, and turned to... Rainbow Dash? "Just ignore them. Those eggheads can talk about 'timey-wimey' stuff all day long."

"Just ignore who?" said the other Rainbow, grinning from ear to ear. They hoof-bumped and flew off to talk about way more awesome stuff.

Session 91.20 Unown3

"Where's Rose?" Cedric asked as he sat down at the game table.

"I last saw her laying in our dorm room, on her bed, with an ice pack on her head. She also called in sick to all her classes today," Bella said.

"Goodie-Goodie ROSE called in sick for her classes?!" Lynna asked surprised.

"Wellll..." Will said, "Remember how Rose said that Sunset and co were supposed to use their harmony magic to repair the boat because 'harmony can do anything' but we just evacuated everyone off the boat instead? And she said how 'congrats you're now all on a deserted island with no way off!' And... we reminded her we still had a way back home via that second portal? And we had ourselves, and EVERYONE go through it back to Princess Twilight's castle in Ponyville? And her eye started twitching?"

Lynn shrugged. "Well, I can just Game Master in her place today!"

Cedric raised a hoof. "Uh, we kinda don't want to listen to Trixie talk to herself for three hours."

Lynn smiled. "Oh don't you guys trust me? No way I'd have my Great and Powerful PC have more fun after her humiliating role in the story before..."

Cedric said, "I still think maybe Rose meant this to be a 'slice of life' mundane adventure like some of our mini-seasons before."

Bell asked, "Then why the giant plant monster and the portal to Ponyville?"

"Bad rolls, and Rose is too much of a 'good girl' to ignore them?" Willow asked. "And she's too nice to do a party kill, so she came up with that to save Human Rainbow Dash?"

Session 91.21 Ardashir

"Everyone? Please listen." Sunset stood in front of the crowd of transformed humans. "I know this is a little, ah, odd --"

"We went through a magical gate into another universe and got turned into teeny-tiny little horses," Paisley called back. The blue-maned and white-coated Earth pony jumped into the air and yelled,"This is a lot odd!"

"Well, okay, you got me there." Sunset smiled nervously. "But we're all working on getting everyone home safe and sound as soon as possible, and back to their proper forms," some of the audience cheered, others groaned. "Until then, we'll just have to check on temporary housing. Thankfully Ponyville has a hotel..."

***

"Whaddaya mean, you won't take this?" EG!Rainbow Dash waved a hooffull of bills beneath the nose of the check-in clerk at the Ponyville Hay n' Stay. "Hey, buddy, those are American dollars! They're good anywhere!"

"Then take them 'anywhere'," the stallion sniffed. "We don't accept play money here!" He pointed at a sign behind the desk reading IN CELESTIA WE TRUST, ALL OTHERS PAY BITS.

"Yeesh, okay." Dash reached into her backpack (where had her clothes gone, anyway?) and took out a credit card that her family had been very very careful about warning her to not abuse. She dropped it on the desk in front of him. "How about that?"

The stallion looked at it. He looked at her. He rang a bell.

"Yeah, Pleasant Stay?" The minotaur bellhop said as he muscled his way out the double doors leading to the staff area, turning sideways to get through them.

He just pointed at Dash. "This fraud is pretending to be a national hero. And she's trying to get a room with that silly card." He pronounced sentence like a judge as the nervously smiling Dash backed away. "Show this bum the gate."

***

"But at least everyone is a pony, so that won't be a problem."

"Uh, about that, Miss Shimmer," The crowd parted to hurriedly to let a small blueberry-colored teen dragoness through. A brown-scaled male dragon was beside her, looking at his claws in disbelief. "But me and Norman, well, maybe it had something to do with that weird Siren thingy a week ago? What do WE do?"

"I know what I'll do!" Sunset jumped back as Smolder flew past, snatching Norman and carrying him along as she ignored his yells. "Smolder want guy! Smolder take guy! It's the dragon way!"

"Oh no you don't, lizard woman!" Blueberry flew after Smolder and Norman, leaving a trail of fire and fury in her wake.

Sunset groaned and facehoofed. "What else can go wrong?" Right behind her came the snap of displaced air as someone teleported into the room.

"Pardon me, young lady," Chancellor Neighsay said as he walked up to her. "I was looking for Headmistress Twilight, and, hmm, you look familiar." He narrowed his eyes and peered closely. "Did you ever flunk out of Celestia's school? I..." He looked at the crowd of ponies, many of whom were meeting their 'twin' for the first time. "Ye gods! Outlaw changelings have invaded Equestria! And one of Celestia's many, many emotionally unstable ex-students is leading them here! The Princesses must know at once!"

"No wait, they're not, we're not! I, that is --" Neighsay vanished as Sunset tried to stop him. She summed up her feelings on the entire mess in two words.

"Oh, horseapples."

Session 91.22 Mtangalion (minor edits)

Rainbow Dash facehoofed, watching her twin get tossed out of the hotel. "Dude, seriously. Just bunk with me in my cloud house. It's okay!"

The human Dash shuddered. "But the last time I fell asleep on a cloud, the magic stopped, and my wings.."

"Pony wings aren't magic! Well, they ARE magic, but they don't go away when you fall asleep!" She flew over and fluffed her double's mane. "Trust me, I nap on clouds all the time. Best thing... ever!"

Starlight Glimmer came stomping down the stairs into the foyer of Twilight's Castle. "What have you done!?" She blinked. "Huh. It feels weird, being the one to shout that instead of being shouted at." She shook it off. "What idiot brought dozens of aliens through a wild portal into Equestria? Now time is getting bent over backwards and sideways, and I'm probably going to have to be the one who fixes it!"

The younger, wingless Spike, who never did get that painting hung, stepped out of the castle for some fresh air. "What's the School of Friendship doing over there? Twilight hasn't even finished drawing the blueprints!" He dashed back inside, only to bump into... himself? "Whoa! Are you... me from the future?!"

The older Spike grinned smugly. "Sure am! Spoiler alert..." He flapped his wings. "It's gonna be a pretty awesome year. Plus, we got to know Smolder, and me and Garble are like best buds now!"

"No we're not!" bellowed Garble. He turned back to *his* very confused younger self. "Okay, the winning numbers for the next Celestial Powerball are..."

Younger Spike squinted at Older Spike, suspicious. "You'd better not be Alisa playing wolf game pranks on ponies again. Apple flowers are better than... how'd that go?"

"Under your bed," said Older Spike casually. "Loose crystal tile, third from the right..."

Younger Spike froze, blushing. "Okay, okay! You're me! I mean, we're us! I'm convinced!" He coughed. "So... what can we do before Twilight gets all shouty and 'Nopony have any fun!'? The castle doors opened again, and more ponies crowded in... including Rarity, but Rarity was already in the room, next to the wingless Twilight with glasses. "Maybe we could go on a double-date with Rarity and Rarity!"

Older Spike leaned closer, grinning. "One of those Rarities is probably a transformed human."

"Don't care," purred Younger Spike, floating on a few of Cupid's stray hearts.

-

Human Lyra shouted excitedly, "I knew what I saw in that cosmic hole in the ground was real! Pony Land is real! I don't want to leave!"

Pony Lyra shouted excitedly, "I knew what I saw in that cosmic hole in the sky was real! Human Land is real! I have to see it! ... Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Session 91.23 Unown3

Sunset Shimmer meanwhile had another worry. "What are we going to do when so many ponies in Ponyville stark asking for hamburgers and chicken sandwiches?!"

Also meanwhile, "Heyyyy, I just realized! We finally have enough ponies to play that 'Infinite Crisis Power Ponies' or 'Power Ponies: Infinity Horseshoe' enchanted comics!" Rainbow Dash said.

-

Trixie came out of her gypsy wagon... and stepped inside the castle... "Trixie now needs glasses? She's seeing double."

Then Trixie found herself face to face with... herself? "OH MY GOSH! You're the Trixie of this world?! Where Magic is real?! You must be the most magical and most powerfulest wizard in the world!"

Session 91.24 Ardashir

"Ah got a question," EG!Applejack looked nervous. "What's gonna happen back home while we're waitin' ta get sent back?"

"Oh, nothing, I guess," Sunset tried to look nonchalant. "I mean, it's not like there's going to be some massive search for us all, right? Or any other kind of trouble? Heh."

The HuMane Six glared at her as Sunset tried and failed to look innocent.

***

"Sister," Vice-Principal Luna entered Celestia's office. "Horrible news! That cruise ship we sent out students on? It just sank and reports say every single passenger and member of the crew is lost, and..." She stopped as she saw Celestia weeping in the arms of Principal Cadance.

"Never mind. I see that you heard." Luna sank down beside her sister and embraced her.

***

At Crystal Prep, in a lunchroom draped in black crepe.

"To Twilight Sparkle," Sugarcoat said as she raised a cup of punch, her fellow Shadowbolts doing the same. "We made her life hell and she nearly destroyed the entire world when she turned into a monster because of our abuse, but we'll miss her. Well, for a few weeks, anyway."

"Aww, Sugarcoat, that was -- both touching and brutally honest." Sour Sweet downed the punch and muttered, "Why did we choose her to say a eulogy, anyway?"

***

At the home of World of Horsecraft, the staff was assembled in an auditorium, listening to Company President Sombra. He spoke from a podium, dressed in a smart dark suit, with his pregnant wife Radiant Hope beside him. Tears filled her eyes. Chrysalis stood behind them both, in a funeral dress and holding a bell and clapper. Everyone there wore a black armband.

"...And so, we sadly bid farewell to some young ladies who were not only among our very best customers, but they provided us with tons of free good publicity and who saved our company from being hit with insane lawsuits because of our minor role in aiding deranged monsters in almost destroying the world." He turned and nodded at Chrysalis. "In honor of their aid, I will have this bell struck a dozen times in their memory." They all waited in perfect silence as the bell tolled for the fallen.

Sombra turned back to his staff. "I have but one more thing to say... We just lost half of our best customers." He leaned forward, glaring as he gripped the edge of the podium. "Which means that either you people find some replacements or I start firing you, understood?"

Within three minutes the room was emptied as panic-stricken employees raced to find ideas for the next ad campaign.

***

Lastly, in the new apartment shared by the Dazzlings after their latest scheme for world conquest fell through, Adagio, Aria, and Sonata were on their knees and bowing before a small green statue of a tentacled fishlike abomination, made from a metal not native to Earth.

"Ia! Ia!" Adagio cackled with glee. "Father Dagon, you finally got off your fishy rump and did something for us. I take back almost everything offensive I ever said about you. You drowned those pests who ruined our lives and who kicked your slimy flank! Oh, please, we beg you, send us dreams of watching them slowly and hopelessly drown!"

"They'll keep us warm at night," Aria agreed. "Oh, I made the reservations at the best restaurant in town like you asked."

"It'll cost us an arm and a leg," Adagio laughed, "but this is worth it! Our worst enemies, drowned in Father Dagon's realm!" She sighed deeply and looked skywards. "Dreams really do come true."

Session 91.25 MtangaLion

“So, let me see if I have this all straight,” said the wingless Twilight Sparkle with the glasses. She paused, grinning sheepishly. “This is so exciting! There wasn’t much time for proper scientific inquiry back during that whole Ogrechess thing.”

Princess Twilight blushed, remembering that. “Well, by all means, science away!”

Sci-Twi nodded vigorously. “So, I have a dog named Spike, who started talking after he was exposed to Equestrian magic. You have a dragon Spike who sounds just like my Spike… actually, you have two Spikes…”

“Oh, this isn’t normal,” said the winged Spike from across the room. “Never mind us!”

“Right… That’s a relief. So the mapping is pretty clear so far. Human equals pony, and dog equals dragon!”

Bark, bark bark! Whine…

“What’s that?” Fluttershy… the one that was actually a pony and not her human friend... gasped at the small dog that was looking up at her earnestly. “You did?! Oh my, that does sound like a problem.”

Sci-Twi blinked. “Wait… you have dogs here too?”

“Oh yes,” said Fluttershy. “Isn’t he the cutest little thing?

“But… that dog is here in this magic world. Why isn’t he speaking English like Spike?”

Fluttershy smiled patiently. “Because Mr. Woofers is an animal, Twilight. I can speak with animals.”

Sci-Twi’s mane was starting to twitch. “But, if he’s intelligent enough to understand and speak back, how is he not a person… Huh?!”

A large semi-bipedal dog padded into the room, wearing a tool vest, walking on small hind paws, and pushing a cart with oversized forepaws. “Princess!” barked the diamond dog. “I bring monthly gem shipment for dragons in school! Sign here and pay bits.”

“Oh, right!” said Princess Twilight. “Excuse me…”

While Sci-Twi’s head was still spinning, a gray and white-furred *wolf* padded into the foyer on all fours, wearing a fancy silver collar with an onyx stone. “What’s this?” she mused aloud. “Doubles all over town, chaos, trickery, and here’s Alisa just minding own business.” The diamond wolf grinned sharply, wagging her tail. “Not her doing, she’s completely innocent! … or is she?”

Sci-Twi’s mane was getting totally frazzled. “Alisa? The costume maker?! But I *know* you’re human in the other world. Why do you look just like her favorite wolf costume?!” Sci-Twi swayed on her hooves. “I... think I need to lie down a while before I do any more sciencing...”

--

Meanwhile, at the home of Crystal Prep Principal Cadence and Shining Armor, Spike the Dog was trying to teach Flurry Heart how to play O&O.

“Oh no!” cried Spike, waving his paws dramatically. “The goblins decide to attack! Now we have to roll for initiative! Go on, give it a try.” He nosed the twenty-sided die across the table.

Flurry Heart stared at the die, furrowing her brow with adorably intense concentration… and the die glowed with a golden light and shot across the room, embedding itself in a wall. Flurry burbled happily and hiccuped, spitting up apricot baby food all over some O&O miniatures.

Cadence watched them from the next room, smiling sadly with eyes puffy from crying. “Shiny, we have to tell Spike…”

Shining Armor clenched a fist. “Twily can’t be gone. I… I won’t believe it without more evidence! You don’t save the world and then just… die in a stupid boating accident. Twily’s smart… she’s got magic and all her friends, she’d find a way!” He noticed that Cadence was staring at him. “What?”

Cadence clasped her husband’s pale hand and held it up, so he could see that it was glowing. He had pony ears too, and longer hair swirling in a phantom wind, plus a medieval-looking shield on one arm with a big six-pointed star and three smaller stars. “So, how long has this been a thing?”

Shining blushed. “Since I went to Equestria to get Twily’s robot back.”

Cadence started putting two and two together. “Shining Armor! Have you been using Equestrian magic… just to ward off bad diaper smells?!”

“Th- that’s not important right now!” He grinned sheepishly. “What is important is that the magic is still flowing, even though the portal is blocked for some reason. Twily and the others *will* be back. I have to believe that.”

Session 91.26 Ardashir

"Okay, you want him, and I want him," Smolder said as she faced off with Blueberry. Norman stood against a tree nearby, bound to it. All three were still dragons. Blueberry glared as Smolder went muzzle to muzzle with her, stabbing her claw into Blueberry's chest. "Miss Rarity would say we should share..."

"Forget it," Blueberry leaned against Smolder, pushing her back a few steps. "That's my boyfriend, scaly!"

"I feel the same." Smolder cracked her knuckles. "So instead we're gonna settle this like dragons!"

"And that means what?"

"I --" Smolder hesitated and then shrugged. "Okay, I got no idea. Usually the drakes are competing over the dragonesses." She snarled at Blueberry. "But you're not getting him without a fight!"

"How did you even meet him?" Blueberry waved her arms out wide to take in all Ponyville. "He says you met online!"

"Well," Norman began to say, "maybe if you gamed with me like I asked, Blueberry --" He fell silent as she spun on him, raising a warning claw.

"Yeah, we met online." Smolder clasped her claws and sighed. "I was having problems with the quest against Discord on World of Horsecraft. Norman showed me how to win it... Then we fought Discord together! It was great. Even if we hadda be ponies to do it." Smolder smiled smugly. "Anyhow, it sounds like I got more in common with him than you."

"Sounds to me more like there's only one way to settle this," Blueberry folded her claws over her chest. "And you know what it is."

Smolder looked uncertain. She glanced from Blueberry to Norman. Her eyes hardened and she pointed at her.

"I'm ready if you are, sister."

***

A short time later, inside the Friendship Palace.

"Uh, Rarity, should we maybe be doin' something about this?" Applejack pointed at the two dragonesses. Norman was there too, still tired to the tree they'd yanked out of then ground and taken inside. "Twi might not be happy if we tell her one o' the students from each world are havin' a duel over some fella." Applejack stepped to the side as though to leave the room, only to stop when Rarity grabbed her with her magic.

"Applejack! Have you no sense of romance?" Rarity sighed deeply and clapped her hooves. "A duel, over true love! I never thought I'd see one in our decadent modern age." She looked back at the combatants and nodded. "Though this is a new way of going about it."

"I am taking you down, lizard woman!" Blueberry yelled from one end of the room where she sat before a computer, VR goggles over her eyes. Her fingers flew over the keyboard.

"Keep dreaming, human wench!" Smolder sat at the other end of the room, accoutered in the same fashion as Blueberry. She typed furiously as their characters battled in World of Horsecraft. Even a few online players otherwise involved in the Tirek storyline were cheering them on. "I'm gonna claim Norman all for myself!"

Norman just rolled his eyes and groaned.

"Huh," Applejack scratched her chin. "Ah wonder if we should let them transformed humans send a message ta their families through these things just so them folks don't worry?" She frowned. "Hey, how can they be used for these here Inter-whatever if the mirror is broke?"

"Twilight said it can still get a signal, we just can't send anything solid through," Rarity shrugged. "Don't ask me. I'm design, not engineering, darling. And that's a wonderful idea, Applejack!" Rarity trotted for the hall, stopped and turned at the door. "But, ah, what message shall be sent?"

***

Back in Canterlot High Earth, Principal Celestia's eyes went wide and her coffee spewed all over the screen as she read the message in her e-mail. A message from someone she thought dead.

"Dear Principal Celestia, the crew and passengers are all safe, including us. We just can't return home right now because we've been kidnapped and held for ransom by crazy people. Everything else is fine. Be back as soon as possible. Don't worry. Yours, Pinkie Pie." She jumped up from her desk and raced to the open door. "LUNA? WE HAVE A SITUATION HERE!"

Session 91.27 Ardashir

Sunset stood in front of Pinkie Pie. One eye twitched as she asked her, "You sent a message back home through the Internet conection with the World of Horsecraft game?"

EG-Pinkie Pie nodded happily.

"And you told them we'd been kidnapped and were being held for ransom by, and I quote, 'crazy people'." Sunset's voice was dangerously calm.

"Yep-arooni!" Pinkie said. "I didn't want everyone to worry about us!"

Sunset's pupils shrank to pinpricks.

"How is telling them we've been kidnapped and are being held for ransom by crazy people going to reassure them?!?" Sunset yanked at her mane as she stomped across the room to look out the window.

"Okay," Pinkie Pie said. "What happens when I tell them, 'We're all okay, lost the ship but got taken into a parallel dimension by magic and transformed into ponies, will be back just as soon as the magical mirror leading between worlds gets repaired, PS Please tell Norman's parents they may geta dragon for a daughter in law'?"

Sunset blinked. "Okay, held for ransom it is."

Session 91.28 MtangaLion

A few hours later...

"Finally!" cried an exhausted Princess Twilight, watching the portal mirror flare with mystic energies, erasing the crack that had marred its surface. "Remind me to dock Discord... oh, several thousand Twilight's Trust points, now that I'm sure it was him."

Sunset raised an eyebrow. "You've been keeping score?"

Twilight smiled grimly. "Meticulously!" She waved a hoof towards the restored portal. "It'll take a while to round up all the humans from the temporary housing... and wherever else they've wandered off to, but a few of you should go through now. You know, before anyone overreacts."

Sci-Twi, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash stepped through the portal, then rose up... not on hind hooves, but legs and feet again, finally. "Never thought I'd be this happy to see *that*," said Dash, grinning at the moonlit front steps of Canterlot High School.

Suddenly, bright flashlights snapped on, half-blinding them, and magenta shields snapped into place, securely bubbling them where they stood. "I've got them!" bellowed Shining Armor, who was... ponied-up?! And projecting the powerful shields with his outstretched hand?

"Where are those crazy kidnappers?!" snarled Gilda, fully griffoned-up with bronze wings out and glowing warhammer in hand. "Lemme at 'em!"

"Save some for me!" roared a third voice. This one had Sci-Twi's jaw hanging open. Spike... it could only be her dog Spike... had apparently managed to *dragon-up*, and currently he was a tall muscular bipedal drake, wearing an outfit straight out of World of Horsecraft. He blinked. "Um... did the bad guys not come through the portal yet? Did we scare them off?"

A ponied-up Big Macintosh, looking like he could bench-press his own pickup truck, snorted. "Or maybe... somebody told us a little fib about there being any kidnappers in the first place."

"Dangit, Pinkie, Ah told ya..." muttered Applejack, blushing. "Hold on... Mac, when did *you* go to Equestria?"

Now it was Big Mac's turn to look a little evasive, clearing his throat. "Ah... might have been looking for a place to hide, on account of all the girls trying' force me to pick one of 'em to date..." He shrugged broadly. "Didn't help much."

Shining Armor groaned and dropped the shields. "You really had us worried, you know..."

Gilda stomped over to them and slugged Dash.

"Ow!" yelped Dash, clutching her shoulder. "What the..."

"That's for making me worry!" said Gilda, hugging Dash tight. She blinked, noticing everyone looking at her, especially the maniacally grinning Cadance in the passenger seat of Shining's car nearby. "Nobody read too much into this! Sheesh!"

Meanwhile, in one of the guest dragon dens in the Friendship Gaming Academy, three young dragons were snuggled against each other, relaxing in a hot lava bath.

"I've been thinking," mused Norman, sitting in the middle between the two females. "Do we really have to go back to Earth?"

Smolder grinned lazily. "Well, I kind of live here, so I'm not going anyplace."

Blueberry giggled. "You know, staying a dragon... I think I'm warming to the idea." The others groaned and splashed lava at her.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?
What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 91.0 Ardashir and Unown3
Session 91.1 Unown3
Session 91.2 Ardashir
Session 91.3 Mtangalion
Session 91.4 Kendell2
Session 91.5 Unown3
Session 91.6 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 91.7 Ardashir
Session 91.8 Jarkes (one line added)
Session 91.9 Mtangalion
Session 91.10 Mtangalion
Session 91.11 Unown3
Session 91.12 Grogar-the-oneser (EDITED)!
Session 91.13 Kendell2
Session 91.14 Unown3
Session 91.15 Grogar-the-oneser and Unown3
Session 91.16 Jarkes and Unown3
Session 91.17 sonicandmario826
Session 91.18 Wolfram-And-Hart
Session 91.19 MtangaLion and Ardashir
Session 91.20 Unown3
Session 91.21 Ardashir
Session 91.22 Mtangalion (minor edits)
Session 91.23 Unown3
Session 91.24 Ardashir
Session 91.25 MtangaLion
Session 91.26 Ardashir
Session 91.27 Ardashir
Session 91.28 MtangaLion

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Picture by Baron-Engel used with permission.

https://www.deviantart.com/baron-engel/art/Y-all-are-gitting-a-smiting-790157950

Session 92

Session 92.0 Kendell2

"...Wow. You actually made a game out of it..." said Twilight, looking at the game in front of her with various Werebeasts on the cover having a big battle called 'War of the Werebeasts.'

"Hey, it was a good idea...okay, grabbing you and throwing you against the Werevixen wasn't Discord's smartest idea, but the idea of a bunch of Werebeasts having a turf war? That's kinda cool," Spike replied. "Anyway, plot is you each make your own species of Werebeast and build a tribe, picking how you choose converts, what your culture and morality is, and either make alliances with other Werebeast tribes or go to war with others for...well, reasons...I just want to see Werebeasts fight each other...You get to choose what morality your converts are though...As the Alphas, you're much stronger than your converts and the normal weaknesses are much weaker against you, IE, just some silver won't cut it. Of course there are opposing Alpha Werebeasts too...Oh, and there's a bit of country management to it too, since you're building a tribe and all."

"Sounds good to me..." said Twilight replied. "...He filmed that fight and sold it to Applewood, didn't he?"

"...Maybe...Don't worry, I made sure he'd get you guys royalties."

"Good...As for what I'll be...well...Hmm..."

"...Discord got you pinned as to what you'd be and you hate to admit it but also can't think of anything else?" Spike asked.

"...Yes..."

"...Discord did make the right choices for that one darling..." Rarity replied.

"Yeah, kinda had us pegged," Rainbow Dash admitted.

"That said, Neutral Good Werefox, not Chaotic Good. And my kind seduce those who mistreat or use those who are attracted to them and convert them, seems like that would be doing the world a favor...also, game, so I can act out a fantasy I've had..."

Everyone stared at Rarity for a few moments.

"...I've not been very lucky in love, can't a girl be a tiny bit bitter about it, darling?"

"...Fair point...So yes, Discord was right, Lawful Good Wereowls. Our culture is based on gathering of knowledge and thus we offer the best and brightest we can find the chance to join our flock as eternal keepers and givers of knowledge," Twilight replied with a smile.

"...Um...Neutral Good Wereskunk," Fluttershy added. "We convert those who want to join us..."

"Come on Fluttershy, you can do a little better than that," Rainbow Dash replied. "You're pretty much an Indigo Lantern Ring!"

"Oh...Oh! I get it!...Yes, we find evil ponies with no hearts and convert them to give them one...That sounds okay..." Fluttershy admitted.

"Chaotic Good Werecheetah! We recruit fast flyers and guard ponies on the verge of death to join our pride to race through the moonlit nights!" Rainbow Dash announced dramatically.

"Eh, Lawful Good Weredog. We're family first and for most, we bring others in without family tah be part of ours," Applejack explained.

"Chaotic Good Weremonkey! We recruit more party lovers and seek to party all night long!" Pinkie Pie announced, hanging from a rope that somehow just existed for the sake of her gag.

"Alright, let's get started..." said Spike, preparing to start...

Everyone cringed...then blinked, noticing nothing.

"...Not gonna lie, was expectin' Discord to turn us all into Werebeasts and make the game real..." Applejack pointed out.

"...If you're expecting it, why would he do it?" Rainbow Dash asked, looking almost disappointed it didn't happen.

"...I do have Discord on speed dial..." Fluttershy said, holding up a banana. "...I think...he said call him with this..." she said, giving a squeek as she opened it to reveal a full sized phone booth that landed on the floor. "I could call him..."

OOC: I'll leave it to someone else to decide if they call Discord to do that or not. Or just decide myself if no one does.

Session 92.1 ardashir

"Wait, sis, where is everyone else?"

"Oh! Uh, well," Sci-Twi twisted uncomfortably. "Some of the others have, ah, people they need to say goodbye to."

Back beyond the Mirror Gate in Equestria:

"Goodbye, me!" The Canterlot High Trixie sobbed as she embraced the other white-maned blue unicorn. The other players for the marathon game of Paranoia they'd set up tapped their hooves or folded their arms as they waited for the Trixies to get it over with. "The Great and Powerful Human Trixie will never forget you! I only hope the magic you showed me works in the, ugh, real world."

"And the Equally Great and Powerful Pony Trixie will ever forget her human twin, or the sleight of hoof tricks she showed her," Pony-Trixie blubbered as she embraced her new-found friend. "And this is the real world. You are the first true friend Trixie has ever made."

"Trixie feels the same!"

"Hey!" Both Starlights jumped up. They glared at each other, and the human one sat back down. "What about me -- us -- whatever? I thought we were friends."

"You are a friend," Pony-Trixie said, waving her hoof at Starlight. Starlight rolled her eyes as Trixie said, "But this? She is the same as Trixie! We are twins! I never thought the universe could contain so much majesty."

"Am I the only one getting tired of this?" Smolder huffed out smoke where she sat, Blueberry and Norman beside her. Murmurs of agreement rose from both ponies and transformed humans alike. She pounded her claw on the table. "Let's get this game going! We might not have much time before everyone gets sent home."

Still blubbering, the Trixies said, "F-friend Computer has the right to shed tears. Y-you are all executed for treason! Now bring out the new clones."

Session 92.2 Mtangalion

Rarity the transformed human was refusing to go back through the portal without the three heavy suitcases of pony clothes, fabrics, and other materials that she'd accumulated during her short stay. Pony Rarity had been generous enough to take her on a whirlwind shopping tour of Canterlot, and even gave her some samples from her line of jeweled diamond wolf collars.

"By the way," Rarity mused, while the wingless Spike was struggling to haul the suitcases up the stairs and into the castle. "Whatever happened to all those petting zoo animals?"

The transformed human Fluttershy gave a soft gasp, then put on a huge fake smile, fidgeting her hooves. "WHAT petting zoo animals?"

--

"Freedom!" The whole flock of birds sang in critter-speak as they scattered to the winds... something about "never going back, oh no, never gonna go back there..." Fluttershy wasn't used to understanding critters so clearly without her geode. Some of the bunnies dove into Fluttershy's saddlebags or her mane (somehow), but the rest scattered just as fast as the birds.

--

"Right this way," shouted Granny Smith, patiently shuffling along towards Sweet Apple Acres with a shepherd's crook in one hoof and a dozen contented sheep following along after her. "Let's get you in the pens before those dadgum wolves get a whiff of ya!"

--

"Hello! Hi there!" said a small former petting zoo goat brightly, prancing in front of Princess Twilight. "Ooh, what's this? OOH, what's that?!"

"Hi, ponies!" bleated another goat. "Are ponies nice? Ponies seem nice! Lots better than those baaaad stick monsters. We kicked them into twigs! Yes, we did!"

"Flowers are tasty!" said a third. "Yummy, munch crunch!"

"Hey!" shouted Roseluck, shaking a hoof. "You have to pay for those!"

Princess Twilight gave up on herding goats and gave the winged Spike a tired look instead. "Spike, take a letter... No, never mind, I don't even care what you write. Just get Celestia and Luna here, NOW."

Session 92.3 Unown3 (spoilers for season 9 premiere)

https://filly.fandom.com/wiki/Filly_Funtasia_characters

"Welcome back Rose..." Bella said, the Elf Pony as cheerful as ever.

"I feel like that migraine put me down for a week..."

"Well... we just some simple role play fun among ourselves while you were gone..." Lynn said.

"Let me guess, Trixie is an Alicorn now?" Rose hadn't forgotten the disaster that was the Cosmos adventure that Lynn had played them through.

"No no no no I promise!" Cedric said. "I made sure nobody did anything dumb! They just all interacted with each other!"

"That's a relief... "

"By way, teacher Twilight and Princess Sparkle (AN, yes, those are the names of the two characters in the show), asked us to drop this by," Willow said, dropping before Rose a mountain of make-up work.

"Looks like the final part of our campaign will have to wait."

"Final part?" Lynn asked.

"Girls, my brain is drying up for ideas for this campaign, it's time for it end, I'd have ended it a while ago, but you kept begging me to go on, but I can't do this anymore."

"Well, hopefully it'll be a challenge," Willow said.

Rose's eyes narrowed. "What?"

"Well, I'd say Princess Twilight and her friends have managed to kick every villain that's ever been thrown at them pretty easy."

"... YOU ALL FAILED your will-saves against Discord! I had to tweak a luck roll for Celestia to save Twilight Sparkle, and Twilight Sparkle restore your other characters from their Discorded state one ny one! And you only solved the Parasprite Plague AFTER they had eaten half of Ponyville, AFTER you rolled a 1 on your magic roll! And the time Pinkie Pie rolled a 1 on her diplomacy roll with the Buffaloo and frontier ponies, TWICE! Do I have to go on? How many times have you barely won against what I threw at you because you didn't pick up the obvious hints till the VERY LAST END?!"

"Cool down Rose... " Willow said, "I"m just saying the VILLAINS for the MOST part... have never been a big challenge in this campaign. Buncha wusses! Our BACK-UP CHARACTERS took down your big bad last time!"

"After I trapped your mains in Tartarus with no way to make it back in time!"

"That wasn't the first time we lost our manes and had to rely on back-up characters," Cedric admitted, he did like getting to roleplay as Discord on that quest (and Lynn loved playing as Trixie, as usual), playing a character so opposite to himself was actually fun, and ever confident and prank loving Will playing as the meek and polite Thorax. Lynn had never forgiven Rose for giving the changelings a new look, Lynn LIKED their old dark spiky look more.

"My point stands, these jerks go down like chumps!" Willow said proudly.

Rose thought darkly, 'Then how about I hit you with them all at once? Looks like Grogar's gonna have some help for this final arc! I was always disappointed I never got to play Sombra for more than a couple rounds after he returned... That never even faced him in that alternate timeline.'

Session 92.3 Unown3 and Grogar-The-Oneser and Mtangalion (Spoilers for Season 9 …)

"Cutie Mark Crusaders Hypno-Slaves, yeah," spoke Apple Bloom.

"We are the most worthless worms in existence. We should feel honored Sombra grants us the honor of obeying him. Really, we're taking advantage of him," Scootaloo said.

"His dark magic fills us, it is us. Slaves obey," said Sweetie Belle.

-

"The brainwashed and enslaved Trixie acknowledges that her worthless existence is given value by serving the great and powerful Sombra."

Alisa growled, "Grrr! Shadow pony misuses darkness! Alisa's power will devour his!"

And then was blasted by Sombra's dark magic.

"On second thought, Alisa not have third, forth, or fifth thoughts. Shadow pony do thinking for Alisa."

-

"HEY! JERK! HE'S STEALING MY SHITCK!" Chrysalis snarled at the crystal ball.

Tirek asked, "Doesn't your brainwashing leave the victim in a dimwitted bliss producing love like a motor?"

"So?"

"And Discord used his magic to turn ponies into parodied inversions of themselves."

"That sounds painfully familiar," Chrysalis grumbled.

"And the sirens-"

"Oh shut up!"

Grogar rolled his eyes. "Using his magic to destroy there own self worth while promoting his own, how droll."

"Although... faking his death to perform a surprise attack on the tree was clever, I will not deny him that. He's not the brainless beast most associate him with during his first return.... but, he's forgetting Discord." Grogar sneered.

He knew damn well Discord was trolling both sides. Discord could easily take down Sombra, but he wants the pony to prove themselves... no that wasn't it.

Discord wanted them to get stronger.

Grogar frown deepen. He can already tell how Sombra game will end, and it will NOT end in the evil unicorn favor.

Tirek asked, "Where's your spawn by the way?"

Chrysalis shrugged, "Making friends with your brat."

Cozy Glow in a corner with Chrysalis' children, "Pattycake! Pattycake! Baker's mare! Strangle Crusaders in their sleep as fast as we can!"

Session 92.5 Mtangalion (Spoilers for Season 9 …)

(Spoilers for Season 9 …)

Silverstream yawned, head propped up on her claws. She’d long since turned out Professor Starlight’s lecture… who ever paid attention on the last day before summer break anyway? … when something outside the classroom window caught her eye. “Um, guys? Is there a last minute LARP that wasn’t on the schedule?” In the street below, townsponies with bright green hypno-eyes were marching like zombies, with none other than a cackling King Sombra leading the way.

Gallus clicked his beak. “Has to be. King Sombra is dust. Well, either that, or I’m going to fail Headmare Twilight’s history of gaming class.”

The door flew open, and two purple dragons rushed in, slamming the door behind them. “Everycreature, get to shelter!” shouted the Spike with wings. “This is not a drill!”

The wingless Spike shuddered. “I’d know that super creepy dark magic anywhere! I hoped I’d never have to feel it again!”

Sandbar blinked. “Professor Starlight? I thought you were going to fix that time wrinkle.”

Starlight Glimmer groaned. “Well, maybe if a certain pair of trolling princesses hadn’t decided to drop another bombshell on Twilight when we’d only just finished shipping those humans out of here, I would have gotten that taken care of!” She turned her head sharply. “And don’t think I didn’t see you two copying each other’s test answers, Garble!”

“Aw, come on!” said Garble and his one year younger duplicate in stereo.

Yona stood from her desk, thumping her hooves loudly. “Yaks don’t run! If evil wizard is hurting friends, then yak will fight!”

Sombra’s mind-controlled army had the Town Hall in sight when some creature shouted, “Now!” Winged shapes swooped over the street, and projectiles came raining down.

Sombra reared up, wrinkling his nose. “Stink bombs? Who dares!?”

Gallus and Silverstream slapped their claws together, and flew around for another pass. “Hit ‘em hard and fall back!” whooped Gallus. “Heh, just like in that Time Changers enchanted comic!”

There was a flash of blue changeling fire, and Ocellus popped up, disguised as Sombra himself. “Minions! I order you to go that way!” she bellowed, pointing them the wrong direction. More changeling students did the same, scattering Sombra’s advance.

“No, you brainwashed buffoons!” shouted Sombra. “I’m over here… ahh!” The ground beneath him caved in, thanks to a team of diamond dog and diamond wolf students. Some of the brainwashed ponies turned to fight, but Yona and Sandbar led a unified herd of yaks, earth ponies, and dragons, charging in and knocking them down into the chasm too.

Sombra soon reappeared, though, lifted up on growing pillars of dark crystal. “You were smarter than I gave you credit for, Princess Twilight!” He started firing more dark magic beams left and right, forcing the student defenders to scramble for cover. “Training young creatures to form your own army, under the guise of a Gaming Academy? That’s an evil plot almost worthy of myself!”

Twilight and her friends had just about caught up with Sombra’s march, but this declaration stopped Twilight in her tracks. “What? I didn’t… did I? That’s not why… Ugh!”

Another barrage of rotten eggs flew, and this time one of them hit Sombra right in the face.

The dark king clenched a hoof, forehead twitching. “Enough!” he shouted, with an almost animalistic snarl. The rotten egg turned to black crystal and flaked off. “I will not be undone by foals!” He threw out a wave of dark energy, and a towering black crystal wall erupted out of the ground, stopping Twilight and her friends in their tracks.

The yak brigade tried to charge at Sombra directly, but he made an imperious gesture, and his mind slaves started interposing themselves between him and the attackers, forcing the yaks to veer off to avoid hurting their friends. Another burst of green energy put all of *them* under his mind control too. “Ha, hahaha!” Shadowy black tentacles burst from the ground, snatching flyers from the air and pulling diggers out of the ground, then flinging them all towards the school

Sombra focused his power, cape and mane whipping faster. The whole Friendship Gaming Academy erupted with black crystals, swiftly turning into a fortress of evil and entrapping most of the student defenders at the same time. He nodded, wickedly pleased with himself…

And then he spun about, finding himself face to face with an angry flying unicorn. “Do you know how long it’s going to take to clean up this mess?!” demanded Starlight Glimmer.

Sombra chuckled, sneering at her. “Obey me.” His eyes began to glow green.

Starlight winced, then cast a spell of her own, her eyes glowing blue. “Oh no you don’t! I stared down an elder siren… how about *you* obey *me*?!”

“Ah, but I’m not like them, am I?” purred Sombra, pouring more power into his spell. “You’ve tasted darkness before… and enjoyed it. Equality? All ponies and creatures will be equal… beneath the hooves of King Sombra!”

Starlight slumped, all the fight slowly going out of her, and when she sat up again, her eyes were glowing green too.

“Now!” declared Sombra. “On to Canterlot! Oh, and some creature make me a victory cake. I feel like celebrating. Make sure it’s an evil cake!”

Session 92.6 ardashir

Imago asked, "When do we learn how to backstab the adults and take over for ourselves?"

Cozy Glow answered, "That's the third lesson. Or you could buy my book and read it whenever you like."

Imago replied bewildered, "??? Your book?" She took the book Cozy hoofed to her. "'How to Make Friends and Use Them to Achieve Ultimate Power Before Disposing Of Them.'? Wait, they let you publish this?"

Cozy said, "I may be a sociopath with cute curls who almost enslaved Equestria and destroyed the magical basis of its entire civilization, condemning all life to a lingering death beyond a handful of slaves, but I've got my rights."

Session 92.7 Grogar-The-Oneser

"Oh and before i forget...." Sombra roared as two dragons screeched as they were flung towards him. "I don't know which of you were the Spike that screwed me the fuck over."

Both Spike pointed towards the other one.

"BUT YOU'RE BOTH GOING TO FEEL MY WRATH!!!"

(timecut)

Walking inside Canterlot castle, the mane six gaped at the sight.

"WAHHH!!" Winged Spike cried wearing jester outfits as they slapped each other with fish. "WERE BOTH GRADE-A FAT LOSERS WHO ARE NOT NEARLY AS COOL AS SOMBRA!!"

"WE HOPE THE FISH THAT WE SLAP AGAINST EACH OTHER MAKE US EVEN A MICRO INCH AS COOL AS HIM!" Spike cried as they kept slapping one another.

"Hmm, on the weird and unusual punishment scale, i give it a C+." Discord stated with a shrug.

Session 92.8 Grogar-The-Oneser

After the whole ordeal.

"You know this could have ended alot less painfully for us, if you realize twilight wasn't ready for leadership just yet." Winged Spike muttered. both versions of him were trapped in a vice grip of a giant hand which had tentacles for feet.

"Sorry about that... but at least Discord stopped you from slapping yourselves with fish," Celestia replied.

"Where is Discord, so he can send this thing away?" Spike asked.

(Linebreak)

"I don't see why I have to write this." Discord muttered as he kept writing on the chalkboard 'I won't be a trickster mentor.'

"You made us think you were dying!" Rainbow snapped.

"And in turn, you unlock a new power, I say I did pretty well all things considered."

Session 92.9 Mtangalion

Crystalsoft President Sombra cried out as he woke, gasping for air. His eyes darted around his bedroom, as if to convince himself that it was real.

Beside him, Hope stirred beneath the bedcovers, then groaned when she saw the clock and realized how early in the morning it was. "Bad dream, dear?" She kissed her husband on the cheek.

Sombra hugged her fiercely. "Wretched, my love. I had all of this incredible magic power, like we did during that AR debacle. I was using it to break things, to torment and enslave everycreature, to take over entire kingdoms!" He raised an open hand, as if grasping for something lost, and then he squeezed it into a shaking fist. "Even though there was no profit in it!"

Hope smiled at him, amused. "Every... creature?"

Sombra rolled his eyes in a huff. "Yes, yes, I was one of those pony things, taking over magic horse-land. Though I did look rather dashing... I don't know if that's some kind of metaphor, or if I've been playing my own damned video game too much."

Hope leaned against him, still smiling. "And was I in this dream?"

Sombra gave her a predatory, yet heartfelt and loving grin of his own. "Of course you weren't there when I was conquering Equestria, my love. You would have talked me out of it!" They kissed and snugged as they drifted off into dreams once more...

Session 92.10 Unown3 (spoilers for season 9 premiere)

Battiwigs said, "And that's how their last adventure session went."

Wranglum said, "I can't believe you wasted my time with this! But I must know!"

Battiwigs asked, "What Master?"

"Why didn't Grogar not bring Sombra back to life again, this time humiliated and humbled, when he doesn't have the minions to spare? How could Rose play a villain cunning enough to fake his own death to find the source of the heroes' weapons, and the mess up such an obvious logical course of action!?"

Session 92.11 Grogar-The-Oneser

"Who to say Sombra been humbled" Battiwigs stated "He has proven to be a starscream, and before you point out, Tirek is not as powerful as he was, Chrysalis through various blunders, suffer a diminish group of changeling and has lost a few marbles, and Cozy Glow is probably the most infamous little filly after nearly draining the country magic dry, they can't backstab him even if they wanted to, especially after he showed how Sombra died."

"... Which version of Starscream?" Wranglum questioned

"G1."

"Okay that kinda makes sense."

Session 92.12 Unown3 (spoilers for season 9 premiere)

"Now that you're all here for my Smarchy magical LARPING session, who wanted to rid dinosaurs while wielding light saber-nunchucks and a gatta-laser canon and who wanted-"

"DISOCRD!"

"Oh dear. Hello Twilight."

"Don't you 'hello Twilight' me! the Mare-Do-Well Corp had to save earth pony fire-fighter ponies who tried to put out a fire naked without a firehose! And a patient whose surgeon was trying to perform open heart surgery without a scalpel."

"And I had to save my animal friends after they marched into the Everfree Forest, saying 'we don't need ponies!' and were almost got eaten by monsters before I Stared them off!" Fluttershy scolded. "Discord! I am peeved!"

Twilight cringed at Fluttershy using dirty language.

Fluttershy blushed as she realized. "Uh, pardon my French."

"The one thing all of them had in common was that they said they'd all gotten motivational speeches from YOU recently!"

"Well..." Discord said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head, Gilda and the rest of his 'magical LARPing' crew glaring at him. "My 'you don't need me, you don't need the princesses, you don't need the Elements' speech went over so well with you... I thought I should apply it to all of Equstria while I was at it..."

"DISCORD!!!!" Twilight snarled in the Royal Canterlot Voice.

"Uh, I made a boo-boo?"

"YES, YOU MADE A BOO-BOO!"

"Discord! I can't believe you!" Fluttershy said in tears in her eyes. "Don't you understand?! I DO need you! I'll always need you! Do you think our friendship means nothing?!"

Discord shrank some.

"Celestia is like FAMILY to me! How could I NOT need her?"

"And Princess Luna is my best friend, you're saying I don't need my best friend?" Pipsqueak, part of Discord's magical LARP group asked horrified.

Discord shrank more.

Session 92.13 Mtangalion

Once again, the Dark King Sombra felt an unseen force drawing him out of the Void. Finally! "Ancient One, thank you for sparing me a second time," he spoke, head bowed, forcing himself not to choke on the humiliating words. "You were correct, my plan was..."

"Flattery will be getting you nowhere, but please. Do go on."

Sombra's eyes widened. This wasn't his accustomed body! He was in... some kind of crystal ball? A tremendous wolf loomed over him, grinning wickedly... No, that wasn't right either. His vessel was... embarrassingly tiny. "Why did you trap my spirit here?" he demanded. Even his voice was coming out as a mousy squeak, now that he was aware of it. "I demand you release me at once!"

Alisa's eyes faded from pitch black to ordinary gold, her dark magic accomplished. "Let you go, so you can come back third time, annoy me and pups again? Oh, no no..." She rolled the ball around with her paw, making Sombra dizzy. "Pavel, Elena, come! Alisa's made you this wonderful new toy! Heh, just don't lose it!" She flung the ball at the stone floor of her cave, and it bounced and rolled like a rubber toy!

"Ball!" cheered Pavel. "Hah, me first!" The energetic pup leapt into the air and snatched the ball in his jaws, growling and shaking it every which way.

"Gah!" cried Sombra. "Dog slobber... disgusting! By all the dark fates, why can I smell his filthy carnivore breath when I don't even have a body? Why?!!"

Alisa padded out of her den, tail wagging. "And ponies say Alisa never does anything nice for them."

Session 92.14 Unown3

"Principle Twilight."

"Yes Sandbar?"

"How do we graduate?"

"Excuse me?"

"I've been asking among the student body and... we're all kinda confused on how exactly we graduate. Do we earn credits? Is there a yearly review board? Do we have good grades after taking a particular set of course? What? Or do we have to wait until another Great Evil shows up and defeat it ourselves again? Do ALL the students in the student body have to wait for some villain to show up to defeat? My friends and I aren't the only students here after all."

"Oh that's very simple Sandbar you... and then you... and that is... uh... excuse me!"

Twilight teleported to her bedroom. "How... how is that even possible?! How could I overlook something so obvious?! It doesn't make sense! AHHH! I have to have notes of it somewhere! But... no? What? AGH!"

"Oh silly Twilight, don't stress out so much about it."

"Pinkie Pie?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?!"

"Just helping a friend calm down. Be at peace." Pinkie Pie's eye twitched and her smile lessened ever so slightly. "It doesn't matter how they're supposed to graduate. So just don't think about it. Most likely they will take down some ultimate evil we don't know about yet by themselves, and graduate, and we'll just pretend the rest of the students at the school have no souls or existences, and will never graduate because they exist just to fill up the school seats anyway."

"Pinkie Pie what's wrong with-"

"Be at peace."

"Be... at peace..." Twilight said with dull eyes.

"Now just go back to what you were doing and don't think about this again. It'll all be over soon."

"All be over soon, don't think about it, back to what I was doing." Twilight teleported back to her office, where Sandbar also had forgotten what he'd been asking his principle about.

Pinkie Pie sighed, shivered, and hugged herself. "Just help them be happy until the end Pinkie Pie, that's the best you can do."

-

"Hi, I'm Morty Midnight. I'm a new student here." said a pale yellow earth pony colt with black hair and black eyes. And the oldest Blank Flank the teachers had ever seen. "I hope to get to know all of you well, and all I can say is that I hope we all live this year to its fullest."

https://megamitensei.fandom.com/wiki/Ryoji_Mochizuki

Session 92.15 Mtangalion

"Twi? Hey Twilight, roll those dice and tell us what happens next!" Rainbow Dash leaned across the table and tickled Princess Twilight's nose with a wing feather.

"Gah!" Twilight jumped in her throne, once more aware of the table full of O&O miniatures, and the concerned faces of her friends beyond. "Sorry, girls. I just keep thinking... We *disintegrated* King Sombra. With Friendship. We can't even say that it was an ancient artifact judging him this time. Should... we feel bad about that?"

Pinkie Pie made a sour face. "Well... If he was such a Meany McEvil Pants that *friendship* made him explode, then it's not like he could have been our friend anyway. Right?"

The doors burst open, and a delegation of crystal ponies rushed in, fresh from the Empire. "Thank you, oh thank you mighty saviors for destroying that monster!" They started bowing low and kissing the hooves of Twilight and her friends.

Rarity oohed as one handsome crystal pony stallion started massaging her back, and another started fanning her and feeding her grapes. "They certainly don't seem to mind."

Applejack winced. "Fair warning before ya go kissing these hooves... they walked through twelve miles of pasture this morning."

The head of the delegation prostrated himself before Twilight again. "The crystal ponies will be grateful to you forever, Princess! We shall erect statues of each of you in our main square... as soon as we move the statue of Spike the Brave But Yesterday's News out of the way."

Spike shrugged. "Huh. Fame is fleeting, I guess."

Session 92.16 Unown3

Discord teleported in the throne room with a mountain of games on his back. "Whose ready for some gaming for the next fifty to a hundred years?!"

Twilight said, "Uh... Discord, that's a bit much, even for you... what's going on?"

"Well... after you vaporized Sombra... some ponies thought it must mean Equestria does capital punishment now... and... some ponies found a way into my universe and..."

"DEATH TO DISCORD! DEATH TO DISCORD!" Roared an angry mob outside.

"Discord! What did you do to them?!" Twilight demanded.

"Well... they, or ponies they're friends with or related to... may or may not have been driven stark raving mad during my... uh, day of fun I had when I first escaped?"

Session 92.17 Grogar-The-Oneser and Unown3

"And before you say it, your magic reverted them to normal but they're still very much pissed." Discord stated. "Something about 'months to years of professional therapy'."

"Well, have you-"

"Yes."

"But wha-"

"Tried that."

"Will you let me have a word in edge-wise." Twilight stated annoyed.

"As soon as you don't state the obvious, then yes." Discord stated. "They don't just want me to pay for their doctor bills, Celestia already did that taking money out of the royal piggy bank."

Session 92.18 Unown3

In the Chaos Realm, Fluttershy sat behind the game master screen.

"So you all come to the red dragon's layer whose snoring has been blanketing Equestria's skies in black smoke, what do you do?"

Flutterbat hissed. Transformation. 'I attack with my barbarian in a rage axe swinging knowing my bands of fire resistance will protect me.'

Hipstershy said, "Like. I tell the dragon there are lots of more feng shui caves for him far away from here."

Fluttersnob said, "I tell the dragon that if he invests his treasure in my trading company, that he can get a return in the next hundred years while he's hibernating that will dramatically increase the size of his hoard."

Fluttergoth said, "I do a diplomacy check to convince the dragon that life is meaningless and he should just end it all. I down my potion of persuasion too."

Fluttercruel said, "I offer him a barrier of dragon vine, AKA rocket-fuel, as a peace offering for disturbing his lair."

"That's nice Fluttercruel."

"Laced with enough dragon bane to kill ten adult dragons."

"That's not so nice."

Session 92.19 Unown3

In his secret lair, Grogar sat behind the game game master screen.

"So you all come to the gold dragon's layer whose been filling the dark land with disgusting light, what do you do?"

Chrysalis said, "I use my succubus assassin's shape shifting to became a female dragon and seduce him."

Cozy Glow said, "I turn my coat inside out, and present myself as a peace loving traveler who has come to praise him for filling this dismal land with pretty light, while asking if there are any weak points in his defenses that I could help plug up or repair for him."

Tirek snorted. "I use Finger of Death."

Grogar said, "You know you're under leveled to use that spell, and in this game miscast spells have random side effect-"

"I cast finger of death!"

The dice rolled.

"You miscast the spell, which you had a 70% chance to do, your finger turns into a death pepper."

"DICE! YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME!" Smash!

"Good things we've got plenty of those from fish men who took a wrong turn."

"Oh it was the right turn, the one I suggested," Chrysalis said briefly turning into a fishman tour guide who was their definition of beautiful... which turned Cozy Glow's stomach.

Session 92.21 Unown3 and Ardashir

Ember said, "Now you know why so may dragons hate ponies."

Fluttershy startled. "Ember?! How did you-?! Get out of here before Discord turns you into seven notes of music for trespassing on a spot he promised me would be private! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" Fluttershy said in terror.

-

Chrysalis' character sheet fell to the floor. She reached for it but Cozy Glow snatched it up.

"I got it! Huh?" Cozy read the sheet, her eyes narrowing. "Shining Armor is hot and dumb, Cadance is a sugary pink cow, one day I'll eat Sunburst to teach that witch Starlight Glimmer a lesson --"

"YOU READ NOTHING!" Chrysalis hissed.

"You kept your old character sheet from when you played with Cadence and the others! You really do care way way way down!" Chrysalis' conscience said. Chrysalis grabbed her conscience, and stuffed it in her mouth, chewed, and swallowed.

Session 92.22 Unown3

The curtain rose, showing the painted backdrop of the inside of the changeling hive. On stages were wooden puppets of Thorax and the other reformed changelings, painted with idiotic expressions.

"We are the new changelings, we are better than you, because we treat food like it's part of Swarm, and because we're painfully bright clashing colors, and we don't have holes to carry our young!"

Then 'Chrysalis' came on stage in the cartoonish 'sneaking' pose of several tiny quick steps with her forelegs raised. And placed a huge atomic bomb in front of her from off screen with a bow, pin pull, and a card. Then she snuck off stage.

"Oooh look! A gift from a friend! Friends are the best thing ever! We're so friendly we're not suspicious at all! Hmm, the card reads 'pull for big surprise, signed a friend!' Okay friend!" The wooden puppet of Thorax pull the string.

A picture of the outside of the hive quickly rolled over them, followed by a big cartoonish 'KA-BOOM!' sign dropped in front with the proper sound effect.

'Chrysalis' pranced on stage. As soft prop 'ice cream dishes' with rainbow colors began to fall on stage.

"Ooooh! Looks like they were made of Tootie-Frutie!"

The audience of black hive changeling grubs laughed and clapped.

In the back of the audience, Chrysalis thought to herself, 'I hated to admit it, but Cozy Glow's idea for this propaganda play works perfectly.'

Grogar asked, "How long until they're ready for battle?"

Chrysalis answered, "At the absolute earliest, about a year's time. Mostly because the Pony Guard sucks."

Session 92.23 Ardashir and sonicandmario826

Chrysalis' Conscience squeaked, "I'm still inside you!"

Chrysalis snorted, "Damn conscience! Why do I even have one?"

Tirek nodded. "Ugh. Those things are a pain. I had mine surgically removed centuries ago."

“What’s a conscience?”, Cozy Glow asked seemingly genuine in the question.

Session 92.24 Unown3

":HA! I'm Captain Mare-Vel! This new Enchanted Comic is great!"

Rarity as Radiance said, "Yes, you're the most bland, banal, and uninspired character in the Enchanted Comics universe. Congratulations."

"Hey! Don't you see how awesomefully powerful I am like this?!"

"Awesomefully is not a word. And so is SuperStallion, but he has personality and charm. Your character has no character growth, no story arc-"

"Ya don't look like Billy Baseball!" Apple Bloom as Humdrum pointed out.

"Their name is Shasam now."

"Why are we bringin' up Billy Baseball's mentor? Or the magic word he says to change back and forth?"

"No, it's HIS superhero name now."

"... That's stupid."

"Like it or not, it's the way things are."

"And stupid."

Session 92.25 Kendell2

"...Okay, do it..." said Rainbow Dash. "...Plus, Discord would probably end up showing up in the middle, finding out we didn't involve him, and do it anyway."

"He wouldn't!...He would..." Fluttershy admitted. She stepped into the phone booth and stared in confusion. "...How does this thing work?"

Twilight came over and picked up the phone. "Sunset Shimmer's world has these...what's the number?"

"5..."

"Okay..."

"Rutabega, Mars, that lost sock in the dryer, and Pi."

"...Not surprised..." Twilight said, noting those were available buttons. She handed Fluttershy the phone.

"Hello? Discord...um...we're playing War of the Werebeasts, would you like to give it your thing?" asked Fluttershy.

Discord suddenly appeared...being Discord, he was currently a Wereplatypus. "I thought you'd never ask!" he announced, snapping his fingers.

A flash of light occurred and everyone was suddenly in a forest.

"Okay, gotta admit, this is cool," said Rainbow Dash, stretching like a cat in her Werecheetah form.

"If nothing else, it is a bit more...kinetic," Twilight replied, turning her head like an owl to look at Rainbow behind her now that she was a Wereowl.

"Yeah...just Fluttershy, try not to get startled into spraying us all like in that , okay?" Weredog Applejack asked.

Fluttershy blushed. "I'll try."

"So, darling, what first?" asked Rarity, flipping her hair and once more looking quite beautiful as a Werefox.

"Have fun?" asked Pinkie Pie, using her Weremonkey hind legs to hang upside down from a tree.

"Well, picking out territory would probably be a good idea..." said Twilight. She looked around, seeing a nearby mountain. "That looks like a good place for me..." she said, spreading her wings and flying up to it. She looked around it and noted the high trees. "This looks like somewhere a good hidden library could be..."

Applejack headed into the woods, sniffing around and finding a fairly open clearing. "This looks like a good place tah make our lair..."

"I need somewhere...romantic..." said Rarity, stalking around the woods for a bit before happening on a pretty looking lake. "This looks perfect."

Rainbow Dash dashed through the woods, and found a particularly winding section of it with lots of game trails. "This looks like a good spot for a race...so good place for me..."

Pinkie Pie found an area of the forest with thick forests. "Oh! I know! Tree houses! That'd be fun!" She looked over at Fluttershy just...started digging a large den nearby. "What you doing Fluttershy?"

"Oh, skunks live in dens...so we're going to...um, living in dens..." said Fluttershy simply.

"Oh! Cool!"

Meanwhile, in the game master's pocket dimension.

"...So, how you going to throw a twist in?" Spike asked.

Discord looked innocent. "Me? Oh come now, do you think I'd really do something like that?"

Spike gave a flat look.

"...I may have something planned..."

Session 92.26 Unown3

Trapped in the dark mirror, Wranglum asked, "So Battiwigs, I am going to set this entire school on fire when I freed... what will you do?"

"Filly wanna cracker?! Have lots of crackers, shove'em all the way down your throat!"

"Oh nothing much."

Session 92.27 Ardashir

"Well, I have a territory," Werefox Rarity looked and sniffed around her lovely lake. "Now all I need is to start finding 'recruits' for my tribe. Or is it a 'skulk'? We are Werefoxes after all."

Se heard the sounds of an argument coming closer. She leaped into the bushes and watched, blue eyes gleaming. The arguing grew louder, she smelled ponies and heard the grass rustling as they came closer. Werefox-Rarity crouched and waited.

Moments later the loveliest and most graceful unicorn mare she'd ever imagined walked out to the lake. She lowered her muzzle and drank, sending little silver ripples across it. When done she looked into her reflection, crimson coat and golden mane and tail, and blew it a kiss.

"But I love you!" A bucktoothed, portly, well-groomed Earth pony stallion hurried out after the elegant unicorn mare. She trotted as though the ground beneath her hooves existed just for her to step on. Head held high, a superior smile played over her muzzle as the stallion pleaded, "What else must I do to prove it? I've spent all I had in courting you, Crimson Song!"

"That's just it," she said in a voice like wicked music. The smile on her face looked sweet as poison. "You were rich. That's the only reason I even looked at you twice. Now you're poor. Poor, and ugly, and a fool. I have no time for such a suitor." She pointed back the way they'd come. "Leave me, and never cross my path again. I've taken all I ever desired from you. The sight of you sickens me."

"You said you loved me." The stallion sounded hopeless. His ears and tail both drooped in despair.

"I say a great may things when they suit me," Crimson Song's smile turned somehow even sweeter while her words were small cutting blades. The stallion winced. "Now I say: leave. Throw yourself into a lake. Drink poison. Go to the ends of the world, but whatever you do, remove yourself."

The stallion cringed under her gently spoken cruelty. He turned and slouched away. Crimson watched him go.

"Well, so much for that fool." She turned to catch her reflection in the water, flaunting her long tail, smiling in true admiration. "So many silly males. Which one next?"

"How about none of them, darling?" Rarity rose from her cover and leaped. "Now hold still!"

"What! A giant dog?" Crimson Song managed one startled whinny as foxy fangs nipped her. "Ow! You mangy mutt! I..." Her voice turned to a soft growl and in moments a gold and crimson vixen slightly smaller than Rarity stood there. "Mistress," her voice still soft but lacking the cheery malice of earlier. "Command me. I am part of your tribe."

"You certainly are, dear." Rarity pointed her long muzzle in the direction of the stallion. "First, change him, the poor fellow. He needs some company and I need some more werefoxes." Crimson obediently sprang off after the lonesome stallion. Rarity clapped her paws. "Wonderful! I wonder how the rest of the girls are doing?"

Session 92.28 Mtangalion

One moment, Prince Blueblood was lounging in a nice hot bath, making silly noises as he propelled the HHS North Star across the "mighty seas" in search of lucrative trade deals and market advantage... and the next, he was sitting in the midst of an unfamiliar forest, bereft of servants, funds, ... and clothing. "Again? Really, Discord?" he asked of the heavens... actually, he looked imploringly at the forest canopy, since he couldn't actually see the heavens from here, but the principle was the same, surely!

Blueblood waited for a response, tapping a hoof, but no clues, riddles, or maniacal laughs were forthcoming. "I suppose I'm winging it, then," he mused, sighing theatrically. "Or pawing it, hah!" He posed dramatically. "Now, change!"

Nothing happened. Blueblood furrowed his brow. "Wolfpony form, go! ... Moon transforming action! ... Ancient Spirits of Floof, I implore thee! Hayshin!! Blast it, change already!" The noblepony tried several more times, but no matter what he shouted, his wolfpony transformation refused to emerge.

Then the sound of rustling dried leaves made him spin around. A hauntingly beautiful vixen with snow white fur and a purple mane was stalking him.

"If it isn't the lovely Miss Rarity!" exclaimed Blueblood, his face lighting up. "Forgive me if I don't transform as well. You know Discord... I swear, that cad changes the rules of my curse every other week. I must say, though, I didn't expect to see *this* enchanting look on you again. Fancy a stroll in the moonlight?"

The were-fox grinned slyly, and lunged!

"Ow!" yelped Blueblood. "You... you bit me! Hurk... Gah!" The noblepony contorted... then howled! A storm of leaves swirled, hiding him from view, and then a true vulpine beast emerged. His white fur gleamed like molten silver. He tossed his roguish blonde mane, then grinned handsomely, baring sharp fangs. "Well, well..." Blink. "Miss Rarity?" The were-vixen was gone. "Hello?"

Rarity yipped and hid behind the nearest tree, panting. "Oh no. He's hot!"

Meanwhile, Blueblood the were-fox padded in circles, frowning. "Why does this itch... Ah!" No less than *seven* silver and gold fox tails rose from his backside.

Rarity gulped. "And he's royalty, even! Must resist. Can't admit..." Her whole demeanor changed when Blueblood's were-fox scent hit her nose. "...that he's an absolute dreamboat!"

Spike gripped the mirror frame hard enough to splinter it. "Send me in there. Now!"

Discord floated past the young dragon, tisking. "Are you certain? Because the only kind of were-dragon I'm familiar with... is *this* kind." He held up a romance novel titled "Dusklight: Legend of the Kirin."

Session 92.29 Unown3

The large puppet of Princess Celestia was passably accurate for the Sun Goddess, except the facial expression was stern and hard. The large puppet wildly moved its forelegs up and down by visible stilts. It was, of course, completely filled with straw.

Facing the puppet were puppets of a black hive changeling (naturally), a Windigo, an Umbrum, a Siren, a Cloud Gremlin, and a centauress filly who suspiciously resembled Cozy Glow.

Behind was a puppet of Starlight, Cadence, and Twilight Sparkle that had been "blown to bits" (really their pieces just disconnected).

The fact the Celestia puppet spoke in a good imitation of Celestia's voice just added to the creepy factor to any who actually knew her.

"I am Celestia, I am that I am, the embodiment of harmony and light! Poor, poor creatures, let astray by disharmony. You invade my castle and tramble my design?"

"We have ignored your design to follow the path we feel is right!" The changeling said. "We fight to build a world where weak creatures will not lose their way!"

"It is not in the creature that walketh to direct her steps! You will only repeat your mistakes. Your kind is weak. Without guidance, you would wander astray. You are not equipped to walk your own path."

"Perhaps, but I do not walk alone. I believe in my bonds with other creatures of disharmony!"

"We believe in the power of the people!"

"I can't do much alone. But with the Swarm, I can do anything."

"You'll never move forward while you're forced to walk someone else's path. You have to carve out your own."

"And together creature can motivate one another to push on. All creatures are with us now."

"Because we're weak, we try to be strong. If you're stopping us from doing so, then I'll deal with you."

"We're walking our own path, one we believe in. And not even you can stop us."

"We each have different reasons that brought us here, but our intentions are one and the same."

The Puppet Celestia hissed, "When I defeat you, I will replace all of ponykind with more obedient servants."

Then one by one, the collection of creatures of disharmony began to lecture the puppet Celestia.

"Your presence is felt everywhere in this world, this changing reality. But you chose to exist separated from your ponies, simply watching... why is that?"

"It is not as though I sat idly by. I suffered just the same as you. I am always by your side. Your joy is my joy, your grief is my grief. The faithful walk together with me. That is the guidance I provide. That is the salvation I offer. Would you cast aspersions on me, your Princess? Label me guilty to claim your own innocence?"

"Ha. Enough with the act--I know the truth. You use monster as a scapegoat for every creature's suffering and then call whatever's left hope." A complete lie, but these little changelings didn't know that. "You hide the truth and demand blind faith from ponies... That's what you do." Another complete lie, as anyone who had spent five minutes with Celestia would know, but many had never spent time with Celestia. "Are you that jealous of us? Or just afraid?" Jealous maybe of the eternal burden they didn't have to carry compared to Celestia maybe. Afraid FOR them maybe, Grogar knew the best soft place to hit an enemy was what they cared for.

"Yes. She fears us."

"I see, this is creature's power of understanding!" Said a puppet of Eris. "By denying Celestia as the one true Princess, you dethrone her. You bring her down the same level as any creature. It won't be easy, but it's the only shot we have at beating her. I'll lend you my power little ones! Let's drag her from that throne!"

This was comical, but none of the hatchlings were laughing. THis was not how Celestia's magic, or anything besides some Tulpas worked.

The puppet Celestia rambled, "You would slander my name? Debase me? Denigrate she who lights the very world you inhabit? To impugn me is to impugn the world itself. You would be tying your own rope... And yet, I still love and pity you, my ignorant little ones. Repent, and your sins shall be forgiven. I offer my hoof to any and all who offer themselves to me. Have faith and you shall receive my blessing."

"You judge creature's worth on how much they believe in you, obey you... But is that all we are, to you? Are we really worthless if we don't have value to you? I mean, just because I'm weak and I have to rely on others doesn't mean I'm worthless! My friends helped me realize that I alone decide the value of my life." Said the changeling.

Grogar had to stop himself from laughing out loud from THAT ONE. It was so completely at odds with everything Celestia did or said it was just plain silly. Grogar knew Celestia foolish blind love extended to all creatures regardless of how much they valued her. It was when they harmed OTHERS that her disappointment rose.

"You claim that whoever has faith in you shall be blessed? That you offer your hand to those who believe in you? That's not love. It's empty pity."

'To a mentally deranged zealot perhaps, but then again, that was what I and Chrysalis were breeding.

"If you really loved them, you'd motivate them, give them a good swift kick in the rear."

Which Grogar knew Celestia did more than once. And where she did not, Luna would.

"All you ever say is to believe in you, but why should they believe when you do nothing? But all you do is watch. There's no reason to believe in you. You demand so much without giving anything in return. How is that right?"

Given Celestia raised the sun every day, the stupidity of this statement was almost painful, but the changelings hatchlings simply nodded. That was what happened when you never presented with any sort of counter argument or other point of view. And all Celestia wanted was perhaps thanks and other creatures to not bully each other.

Though Grogar had to admit, Cozy Glow showed an incredible talent for brainwashing for a pony her age. Most thought brainwashing had to be done Starlight Glimmer's style, trapped in a room, or Discord, Sombra, or Chrysalis' style, brute forcing it with magic. But true brainwashing, was where the mark did not even realize they were being brainwashed.

"You refuse to acknowledge others Alicorns, making this world stagnant. Your existence prevents the emergence of new gods. That means creatures can't progress of their own accord. With you around, reigning over our fate, we're left with no means to find our own path."

This was such a bloated lie. As Twilight Sparkle, Luna, Twilight, Flurry Heart, and Cadence's existences would all prove. And even if this was a hundred years ago when Celestia was apparently the only Alicorn, she had encouraged her ponies to live their lives, and that was what pleased her most.

And even knew, that mindless praise, was, well, mindless, something Chrysalis, Discord, and Sombra in their blind egos never understood, thus, you couldn't say those praising you were really praising you.

"Not long ago, I had complete faith in you. Now that's I've seen the world, however... that's changed. I see now that you spin lies to feel the weak-minded into believe they're your "chosen" people."

Grogar thought, 'Of course, ego-stroking is the first rule of any brainwashing, prepping them for the big idea. That was something Starlight Glimmer didn't grasped. It isn't about breaking them down, it's about building them up. YOU saw through the conspiracy where others didn't, YOU saw the fraud for what she is where others didn't, THEY'RE the ones being fooled into thing they're special, not you. You figured it alllllll by yourself.'

"Elitism leads to decadence. Nothing good comes out of pitying each other." Of course, Grogar had never shown pity to any living creature. In particular the ones who begged for it under his hoof. He remembered laughing the many times he'd heard a pony whep, 'HAVE PITY!'

"You're very existence debases ponykind! You're the Unclean One!" And there was the beauty of it all. Make it so the enemy's very existence is fundamentally wrong, you are completely justified in exterminating them. Those words had been used to justify acts of evil across the world and history. And then the cycle of hate started. Once the oppressed were in power, they oppressed those who had oppressed them, in an endless circle of inflicting suffering on others. None of these changelings hatchlings knew those word were actually 'HATE HATE HATE' embodied.

"You sinners intend to persist in this foolishness? Because I am always with you, I know what has led you to me. Tempted by monsters, stirred by your allies-- it is only natural you would inevitably come before me. I offer you one last chance: sever ties and become my servant, or burn in the depth of Tartarus. The choice is yours."

Naturally the heroes reject the Celestia puppet's evil offer.

"You and me. Man. We're bros. I'm going to knock her out, just you watch!

"Very well, my cursed foal. Have your wish. My fire shall send you screaming to Tartarus. There you shall burn, awash in suffering, bound to your sins for all eternity."

Tirek from behind the scenes snorted. 'Personally, I think all this lecturing is layering it all on way too thick. But these empty headed grubs are soaking it all up!'

"You must be very understanding if you are so quick to forgive. But your forgiveness is empty. The only thing it accomplishes is to hide your believers weaknesses." Chrysalis had naturally very much enjoyed that line on what she thought of forgiveness. "I learned that one's weakness should be changed, not hidden. Whoever believes in your forgiveness only becomes weaker. Who'd want that? Keep your compassion to yourself. Don't toy with us creatures."

The fact that accepting one's weaknesses was in of itself a show of great inner strength was conveniently left out. Or that for-give-ness was a 'gift', not earned (another reason Chrysalis thought it a foolish invention).

Now the puppet Celestia exploded into a flaming horrifying equine Cerberus/Hydra like horror with different heads for all the different pony tribes. Her true form of course.

"How could you diminish me to such a state? Impudent creatures... I cannot forgive you... I asked only that you take the life I granted you and obediently follow my word." That that 'word' was 'don't be flank holes to each other' was again conveniently left out. "THe weight of your blasphemy is too great for death. Eternal suffering is the only suitable punishment.

The heroes then heroically trounced the equine abomination puppet. The combined magic of disharmony blowing it away.

"Guh... do you fully comprehend your actions? How will you repent for a sin this gave? Do you think yourself capable of carrying that burden? Praise my name, before it is too late! Praise my glory!"

"She's finally revealed her true nature..."

"Falling from grace.. the fate that befell the other Alicorns has finally come to her."

"I'm tired of your restrictions. Creatures can become stronger if they aren't held back by you." That Celestia HELD UP her ponies, not HELD BACK, was once again conveniently left out.

"Your words are empty and meaningless. I will show you power of action." Once again, anyone who had actually bothered to study under Celestia, would know this to be fiction, but these hatchlings had not.

And they wailed MORE on the equine abomination that was supposed to be Celestia.

"Ngh... There is no truth to your ideas. The future you pursue is a fabrication. Cease this at once." Ironically, what the straw puppet was saying, was 100% true, but of course, the hatchlings were not supposed to believe a word it said.

Eris cheered the changeling drone (of course, this propaganda play was meant for then after all). "Enough this little ones. Put an end to her with your own four hooves!"

"End this, so the Sirens and Umbrum can finally live in freedom!"

"This ought to prove foal's play, for you. Show her our power!"

"I shall cede the stage, just this once. Flaunt your magnificence, for the sake of your Swarm."

"I believe in you... Don't let me down!"

"Go, Loyal Drone!"

And KA-BOOM! Final blow. Nice pyrotechnics.

"How could mere creatures surpass Alicorns, and destroy even me, your creator? No, this is not the end. You've only led yourself further astray. Creatures are weak. You cannot live without my law, without my harmony. You need something to believe in. But now, you've debased my truth, and so I shall slip from the minds of ponies. Ponies will inevitably lose their way and long for salvation. Then you shall regret this decision..."

And in a white light, the abomination puppet was no more.

Grogar was under no delusion that the actual Celestia wouldn't be able to counter these banal arguments, based on misconceptions and stereotypes of who and what Ceelstia was... but for these growing changelings, this was both entertainment, and set in this clay like minds who was the hero, and who was the enemy, who was reasonable, who was irrational, who were the champions, and who was the fraud.

Cozy Glow had to admit she couldn't really take real credit for this one, all the dialogue had been really plagiarized almost word for word from 'True Alicorn Rebirth IV Ponypocalypse' which in turn had been plagiarized by Starlight Glimmer in her 'Equality Manifesto' which Cozy Glow had borrowed a copy of from Rumble.

Meanwhile, in another universe, through the mirror, the humiliated and defeated (now at least three times) sirens felt a distant feeling, a distant calling.

"Whao... that's a lot of hate," Adagio said.

Session 92.30 Unown3

"Rainbow Dash! Are you using the Harmony Chest as a giant dice AGAIN!?"

"Well, yeah Twilight, it's not the tree has any use for it anymore..."

"I hate much sense that makes."

Session 92.31 Kendell2

Fluttershy stalked the woods, looking for potential converts. She wasn't quite certain how to go about this, but she knew the GMs would provide something. They kinda had to. She jumped, hearing someone coming.

A young mare walked along a forest path innocently, not seeming to be paying too much mind to her surroundings...until a pony with a sword Cutie Mark emerged from the forest and held a knife to her neck. "Hand over your money, toots. Or you might have an accident."

The mare screamed. "I-I don't have any on me!"

The stallion got a sadistic smirk. "Well then, guess accident it is..."

Thankfully, Fluttershy's assertive training made her at least somewhat more willing to take action and seeing an innocent pony in dangerous was something that could make her take action. The fact the mare resembled a grown up Sweetie Belle was decidedly something that triggered her defensive side...and was probably exactly the idea for that.

"Leave her alone..." said Fluttershy, giving the Stare.

The stallion turned around, the mare taking the advantage to elbow him in the ribs and run for it. "You're gonna pay for that..." he said, unaffected by the Stare and approaching with his knife.

"Remember, Fluttershy, that didn't work on ME before you made me grow a heart," Discord replied. "And you did say you recruited those without them."

Fluttershy eeped and looked frightened at that. "I'm a Wereskunk...so...um...I guess..."

The psycho jumped at her, and Fluttershy spun her hindquarters his direction, tail raised. The thug was sprayed in midair and stopped in his tracks, face turning green and eyes watering. He crumpled to the ground, coughing and gagging, desperately trying to hold his nose. "What-what did you do?!"

"Oh...sorry...um...but you're a big meanie...so...this might hurt a little..." she muttered. "Sorry..." she said, approaching the reeking stallion and giving him a small nip. Discord gave a small clearing of his throat, telling her that was not enough. She gingerly gave a slightly hard nip.

"Ow! What was...that..." White stripes went down his back and the characteristic big fluffy tail came behind him. He stood up, holding his head. "Why...why do I feel bad?" he asked, clearly distressed. He held his chest. "Why aren't I happy I nearly killed that gal? It...it almost hurts..."

"It's called having a heart, dear...now come on, we have to go give some other mean ponies hearts too."

"Y-Yes mistress..."

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?
What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 92.0 Kendell2
Session 92.1 ardashir
Session 92.2 Mtangalion
Session 92.3 Unown3 (spoilers for season 9 premiere)
Session 92.4 Unown3 and Grogar-The-Oneser and Mtangalion (spoilers for season 9 premiere)
Session 92.5 Mtangalion (spoilers for season 9 premiere)
Session 92.6 ardashir
Session 92.7 Grogar-The-Oneser
Session 92.8 Grogar-The-Oneser
Session 92.9 Mtangalion
Session 92.10 Unown3 (spoilers for season 9 premiere)
Session 92.11 Grogar-The-Oneser
Session 92.12 Unown3 (spoilers for season 9 premiere)
Session 92.13 Mtangalion
Session 92.14 Unown3
Session 92.15 Mtangalion
Session 92.16 Unown3
Session 92.17 Grogar-The-Oneser and Unown3
Session 92.18 Unown3
Session 92.19 Unown3
Session 92.20 Unown3
Session 92.21 Unown3 and Ardashir
Session 92.22 Unown3 (extra)
Session 92.23 Ardashir and sonicandmario826
Session 92.24 Unown3
Session 92.25 Kendell2
Session 92.26 Unown3
Session 92.27 Ardashir
Session 92.28 Mtangalion
Session 92.29 Unown3
Session 92.30 Unown3
Session 92.31 Kendell2

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Picture by Rakikubit

https://www.deviantart.com/rakikubit/art/Fluttershy-the-game-775425918

Session 93

Session 93.0 Unown3

"Friends. Friends. Friends. Friends. Friends. Friends." Chanted the zombie army of rainbow colored changelings, mindless marching forth, their ugly garish clashing colors a contract to the peaceful and beautiful black and green landscape.

"Wise Mentor!" Cried Loyal Mentor.

"Save yourself Loyal Drone, avenge me! AVENGE ME!" Said the older black hive changeling just before he was enveloped in the horde. Then arose as another of the abominations. "Friends, Friends, Friends, Friends."

"WISE MENTOR!" Screamed Loyal Drone, tears coming from his compound eyes. "I'll avenge you!" Loyal Drone vowed.

Then the perception shifted to Loyal Drone's points of view, ending the cut scene, and a cross-hair appeared to zap them. And the army of rainbow colored zombie changelings were gunned down en mass, a contrasting cheerful voice, "GET BONUS!" chirping for chain kills. Surprisingly well animated green blood splattered everywhere in absurd amounts of pieces of rainbow changelings scattered everywhere with no loss of frame rate.

Then once enough combos had been reached, a flashing bar showed at the bottom saying 'TRANSFORM!' and Loyal Drone transformed into a tower changeling behemoth, and switched to a shift person view again, showing off the badassitude of the mighty Loyal Drone in his transformed state, and tore the zombies left and right. The first boss was Phalanx, followed by Thorax, the 'final' boss was Starlight Glimmer, with the REAL final boss that only appeared to hatchlings who got the high scores, being a marathon boss against the Princesses (except Flurry Heart in the 'good' ending who was turned into a changeling queen).

Hatchlings gathered around the game machines, both to look over the players' shoulders and to cheer them on. The hard rock techno sound track wasn't so bad either.

There weren't enough game machines of course for the entire swarm of hatchlings Chrysalis had spawned... but once they'd made the hand held edition, it would really help, plus the hand-held would come with a co-op or competitive option for most abomination changelings killed.

"Those game designers should be proud," Cozy Glow said, reluctant to admit she'd gotten addicted to the gameplay herself a little.

Tirek asked, "How's Tirek Ball Festival coming along?"

"Where you start out with a tiny ball of magic and slowly absorb all magic in Equestria?... Still in beta testing."

Session 93.1 Ardashir

"Hey!" Pharynx barged in to the Friendship Palace. He looked furious, fangs bared and eyes aglow. He held up a hoof-held computer game. "I thought you ponies stopped making these racist games about other species."

"But we did!" Twilight took the game from him and looked at it. "I don't know what you're talking about -- Gah!" She flung it away. "We didn't make that game! We're at peace with you now, remember?"

"Then who did?" Pharynx snarled as he showed her a magazine. "They're being advertised in here."

Twilight read the cover.

"Huh? 'Evil Unbound -- the magazine for Equestria's next conqueror'? What the hay?" She flipped through the pages, her eyes widening as she scanned the articles. "'Why do the Princesses job out to every two-but tyrant'? 'Twilight's Friendship School, just another name for cultural imperialism against predators'? 'Remember when Dragons and Changelings used to be scary instead of cutesy-wootsie losers'?" She wadded it up and hurled it into a trash can. "None of that's true! Who writes this swill anyway?"

Far away in Grogar's Lair, Chrysalis nodded as her Changelings worked a press. One of them held the next issue of 'Evil Unbound' up for her perusal. It had a full-cover picture of Queen Chrysalis biting out the hearts of Ocellus and That Traitor Thorax.

"Hah! Deer aren't the only ones who can make samizdat!"

Session 93.2 Unown3

"Welcome to Equestria's first formal gaming night... I know my nephew has held card tournaments with some of you in the past couple of years, and he has performed admirably, but I wanted to get to know all of you on a more personal level," Princess Celestia said. Philomena perched on her shoulder. Ember, Thorax, and Rutherford in attendance.

"Live phoenix? I heard you were supposed to have snacks at these things," Ember said reaching for the startled domesticated pet who'd never been raised to fear the presence of dragons (the closest experience she had was with Spike), and her head inside Ember's closing jaws, which Celestia's magic pulled out just as they slammed shut.

Celestia did her absolute best to keep her self control. "Dragon Lord Ember! Philomena is my beloved pet, NOT an appetizer."

"Oh? Really? Sure. Okay." Ember said like it was a trivial misunderstanding. "So when do you serve the phoenix eggs? I prefer mine scrambled with ruby dust sprinkled in."

Session 93.3 Ardashir

"Ember!" Thorax got between her and Philomena. The phoenix glared around him at the dragon, ruffling her feathers up in annoyance at almost having become dinner. "Ponies don't eat anything from phoenixes. Not their eggs, not them, nothing."

"What?" Ember blinked. "Okay, then how do they keep them from overrunning Equestria? Phoenixes are immortal."

"We don't have very many of them here," Celestia nuzzled Philomena, who preened under the attention. "And Philomena has never laid any eggs."

"Fine." Ember rolled her eyes and reached into a pouch hanging at her waist. "I figured something like this might happen, so I brought snacks." Her claw came back out, holding a massive black scorpion. Its claws snapped at the air and it stung at her scaly arm uselessly, stinger-tail lashing like a whip. Ember smiled and breathed a light puff of fire onto it. It squealed once and hung limp, cooked. Before the horrified eyes of Thorax, Rutherford, and Celestia she flung it into her muzzle and crunched down once or twice before swallowing.

Ember noticed their attention. "Oh, sorry. Want some?" Her hand went back into the pouch and came out with three more scorpions as big and vicious as the first. They waved their claws and arched their stingers menacingly. Their legs worked frantically to escape Ember's grasp. "Be careful, though, they can be fatal to non dragons, but only if they sting you. Of course they have to get free to do that -- whoops!"

Session 93.4 Ardashir sonicandmario826

"Good thing we’re all immortal. Right Rutherford?...... Rutherford?....... Oh dear...."

Rutherford was sick but he’d make it. "Yak SMASH PUNY VENOM!!!...But first, Yak take tiny little nap." He Passed out on the spot.

Session 93.5 Kendell2

Applejack decided to go for a bit of a challenge in Manecraft...and noticed the Buffet World Type option. You could use it to make all kinds of stuff...so she decided to make a Jungle biome spawn in the Cave World type (which basically amounted to the world being formed like the Nether except with that biome instead). She loaded in...and found herself on top of the bedrock. "What the..."

After some searching, she found some Jungle Temples emerging from the bedrock (though unfortunately the first few's loot was just okay at best)...and then realized she'd need to dig down underneath it. "Okay, shouldn't be too hard..."

She managed to make it down into the caves...and came out on an island floating in the middle of the cave...and covered in Creepers. "HORSEAPPLES!"

Several explosions later (and the island being nearly blown clean in half), she had the island lit up enough to look around. "Wonder if peaceful mobs can even spawn here..." she said, then blinked as she looked at a nearby lava pit...and saw cows spawning around it deep underground. "...Well...that answers that question."

She decided to build over to look closer...and instantly was chased by Creepers and cornered near another lava pit...and knocked right into lava by a zombie the moment she built out of that situation.

OOC: Just happened to me.

Session 93.6 Unown3

Tirek asked, "How are you even feeding all of these hatchlings? I thought your hunger was never ending."

"Remember those computers the pink pony gave us? There was a 'meet the staff event in character' event, in World of Horsecraft, and I met some very nice friends."

Tirek giggled, "Oh right, I'll admit, figuring out how to ruin somepony's day in Crystals and Rainbow Online with no combat mechanics or means to harm the other players was a refreshing challenge for me! But how does that help with feeding your new brood?"

"Well, I began talking with three of the developer's hired help, we really hit it off. And they gave me some absolutely wonderful ideas. Of untapped loved, from ponies that no pony in Equestria are going to notice are acting listless, lifeless, and being mindless slaves to a pretty face that they don't even actually know."

-

"I love you Chrissy-Chan," said Gizmo to the digital pretty school filly on his computer screen. She was an Earth Pony like him (as was adjustable in the options menu) and had black fur, green hair and eyes and a dragonfly cutie mark.

"Oh and I love you too Gizmo. And you don't want to spend any time with any other girls but me," said the digital voice on the screen. "Only I understand you, only I value you. Other girls will just make fun of you and judge you. Only I can give you the comfort you want in this cold cruel world."

"Yes... yes... buying this dating Sim was the best choice of my life!"

"Yes, yes it was. Thank you for purchasing this copy of 'Happy Happy Heart-Pounding Love Hive.' And you should share a copy of me with all your basement dwelling, mouth breathing, Otaku friends, so they can be loved too."

"Yes, yes I will Chryssy..."

"And don't get sharing this with the wrong creatures, or talking about this, or do anything whatsoever that might endanger our special relationship, you wouldn't want that, would you Gizmo?"

"No! No I wouldn't!" Gizmo frantically typed.

"Good boy." The eyes on the screen glowed. "Who do you love?"

"You Chryssy... only you Chryssy..." He said as his love was sucked out of him and into the screen. As were countless other Otakus around Equestria and Equus (in particular Neighpon), being streamed into storage to be fed to the waiting mouthes of Chrysalis' new brood.

-

"They also gave lots of tips on making sure programs don't magically gain free will, a conscience, or ambition of their own, apparently this one dating-sim company in the human world learned its lesson about something or other, and will stick to their function of harvesting love from the pathetic stallions of Equus desperate for a relationship and none of the dejection and pain that the learning curve requires to get one."

"So no different really from those who usually design those games."

"Not really no."

Session 93.7 Mtangalion

"Just what do you think you're doing?!" Starlight Glimmer tapped a hoof expectantly.

Sitting in Rarity's throne at the Cutie Map table, Garble looked at the wingless Spike to his left, and the winged Spike to his right. "Um... playing poker?"

"Duh!" chimed in another Garble... a year older or younger, it was hard to tell.

"Playing poker!" fumed Starlight. "Having even more cross-temporal interactions with your other selves, potentially creating even more paradoxes! Where's that paper bag..."

A considerably larger and more mature Spike, who barely fit in Twilight's throne, grinned handsomely down at her. "Well, yeah, that's the thing, Glimglam. I can't remember any of this stuff happening when I was his age." He pointed at another Spike across the table. "Or his. So obviously, you're going to cast some kind of cool spell that will keep our memories separate until we're out of the time wrinkle. No paradox, no worries!"

A wingless baby dragon Garble, sitting in the small throne that had originally been Spike's, looked around the table, pouting. "Huh? I don't get to remember how us dragons are totally gonna be ruling over you stupid weakling ponies in the future? Lame." He tore off part of the jeweled armrest and ate it. Fortunately, the pieces of the Cutie Map were still growing back instantly.

"You know that Twilight tends to freak if I so much as mention memory altering spells!" Starlight sighed. "I guess there's no alternative now, though. Wait..." She did another quick count of the beings at the table. Who the heck are you?!"

Some kind of pink and purple half-pony, half-dragon creature who looked suspiciously like Diamond Tiara was lounging in a gaudy, jeweled lawn chair topped with a golden apple. "Oh, don't mind me!" said the young Yokai. "Nothing's been happening in my world, and I saw a juicy Chaos Nexus over in this one, so Uncle said I could come visit!"

Starlight put her hoof down. "No! Bad! We have more than enough chaos here!" She started firing off powerful spells. "Memory charms! Time wrinkle smoothing! Chaos banishment! Done!"

"Oh, you're so gonna regret this later," said an amused Diamond, but she vanished all the same.

When the room stopped spinning, only one Garble and one Spike sat at the table, both with wings and about the right age. Spike frowned. "Well, it was fun while it lasted."

Garble doubled over meanwhile, clutching his head. "OW! What the heck? I just remembered everything younger me did this whole past week... and mini-me too! Argh, no fair! Why doesn't Spike have a killer headache?"

Spike shrugged. "I'm not an expert with this timey-wimey stuff, but you're the oldest Garble that was displaced in time. I'm not... that grownup me is the one getting all his memories back. I wonder if I can remember to have a dragon-sized aspirin ready..."

Starlight conjured an ice pack and dropped it onto Garble's head. "Now, what do we say?"

"Up yours!" roared Garble, adding a certain claw gesture that dragons and griffons had in common.

Spike smirked. "He means 'thank you.'"

Session 93.8 Ardashir

"Now that I have some were-skunks for my tribe," Fluttershy looked on as her new skunks compared scent control tips, "I wonder how the rest of the girls are doing?"

***

"All right, y'all know how yore supposed ta behave from now on?" Applejack stood before her gathered canine pack, their alpha.

"Never betray family, family is pack, and pack is everything," two recently-bitten weredogs with red and white coats said in unison. "Also, stop cheating ponies all the time."

Applejack sat her flank down, wagging her tail in glee. "Ah finally got some use out o' Flim an' Flam. Well, game-built NPC version o' them, anyhow. This is a great game!" She rubbed her forepaws together. "The rest o' the girls cain't be doin' better than me."

***

"Yay! Another recruit to the weremonkey tribe!" Monkey Pie hugged the be-monkied Cranky. He returned the hug and went swinging into the trees to join the party behind Pinkie. Behind her a whole tribe of monkeys was laughing, swinging by their tails, and singing scat under the direction of a potbellied orang-utan.

"Swing it for Queen Pinkie, boys!" He sang out, slapping out the tune on his bulging belly.

***

"Gee if only I could do this to the real Soarin'," Cheetah Dash whooped for joy as the formerly injured pegasus rose on spindly legs, looking confused to be a feline. The rest of the cheetah pride yowled their support as Dash jumped up on a nearby stump. "Okay, guys, back ta camp!"

"Race ya!" They called it as one and charged off for the lair. "Loser has to clean the den!"

Dash laughed. "That's the spirit!"

***

"Welcome to the flock, Moondancer," Were-owl Twilight looked proud as NPC-Moondancer flew up into the trees with the rest of her owls. They were looking around at everything, but when she spoke they all turned their heads to watch her. Twilight clapped her wings. "I still think that's neat. Okay, my therianthropic strigiform tribe, it's time to plan how to deal with the other werebeast tribes."

Owl-Moondancer raised a pen and paper in one sharp talon. "Can we take notes!"

"Everyone can take notes!" Twilight called back, and felt her chests swell with pride at the chorus of delighted hoots.

Session 93.9 Mtangalion

Blueblood, Prince of the werefoxes, was having a delightful time lording it over his new subjects when two foals rushed out of the forest, small but sharp knives in hoof.

"Button," said Sweetie Belle worriedly, "are you sure these are the best outfits for monster hunting?" She tugged at her very pink and very short-skirted tunic.

"No time to worry about that now!" shouted Button Mash, with a spiky blond mane and an obnoxiously orange jumpsuit. "We’re gonna make sure these monster foxes never attack our secret village again!"

They ran at Blueblood, shouting heroically, but the werefox prince snatched the foals up in two of his tails, then casually nipped them both. "Or, you could stop being weak and boring mortal ponies, and join me."

The foals thrashed, quickly sprouting fluffy fox fur and shredding their outfits. "Whoa... you’re right!" yipped the newly-minted orange werefox kit. He snarled and swung his paws, sharp little claws flashing. "I feel way stronger!"

The white and pink kit swished her tail adorably. "Yeah, what were we thinking?"

Blueblood nodded regally. "Now go back to your secret village and nip all your friends. We must bolster our forces... I sense that a new faction has joined the game."

Elsewhere, Spike the were-dragon had Rarity in a tight embrace, his fangs sunk into her shoulder, while the last of her fox fur shed away, replaced by ivory scales stronger than steel. "Oh yes, my lord Spike!" moaned Rarity. "Why did I ever imagine I should be anything but yours?"

Spike grinned sharply at the new were-dragon. "Why indeed? Now, come on! We have to hoard treasure and grow a lot bigger before the other were-tribes claim all the good territories."

Session 93.10 Ardashir and Unown3

In the Game Master room, Dragon Lord Ember was eating jeweled popcorn in a plush chair. She was delighted by what she saw on screen. "I always knew the little guy had it in him! That's it! Bite all the ponies! Dragons forever!"

"Well, Rarity's out of the game," Discord said crossing out Rarity's picture. "Her faction is now under the control of an NPC. I figured Applejack or Rainbow Dash would be the first to go. Oh well. Let's see how this goes."

Session 93.11 Unown3 Spoilers for Season 9, episode 4.

"THEY TOOK MY ANCESTRAL THRONE AND TURNED IT INTO A FENCE?! ... This is just one more thing they'll pay for!" Chrysalis hissed.

--

"TWIIIIILIIIIGHT!" Trixie cried. "Why didn't you have Trixie as part of your heist?! Trixie has experience breaking into places... to protect precious treasure from the legendary thief Rough Diamonds... And TRIXIE LIVES FOR DISTRACTIONS! Not some flash in the pan country singer with an over inflated sense of presence!"

"Uh, sorry Trixie... I ... didn't think of you?"

"MY HOUSE IS LITERALLY PARKED OUT SIDE YOUR CASTLE!"

"And seriously Twilight," Starlight said. "I could have thought of five or seven different ways to steal that crown."

"How many don't involve mind control?"

"And when did your brother say that mind control was forbidden?"

"He also didn't say banishing guards to the moon was forbidden, but we can assume it was an unspoken agreement."

-

"I am surprised Twilight didn't banish some guards to the moon as part of her plan, I had welcome treats and everything," Princess Luna said.

"Since when has my sister ever gone for the direct approach first?" Shining Armor said. "It's all check-lists or schedules for her. It's like Fluttershy and her filing cabinet of phobias... right next to Twiley's filing cabinet of phobias... fear for her friends and family is one of the few things that can override it, both ponies and her books... Which actually explains why she acted so reckless when Chrysalis had me brainwashed."

Then a scroll appeared.

"Huh?... Twiley ~~challenges~~ invited me to host another role playing game with me... girl doesn't know when to quit..."

"Didn't you stop Oubliette Overseering with her because she kept derailing your campaigns?"

"How did you know?!"

"Your subconscious tells all. The dream of the giant purple dragon wrecking your carefully constructed kingdom of cardboard for starters."

"Well, time to get back in the saddle."

-

"Seriously Twiley... you want to Oubliette Overseer a heist adventure?" Shining Armor asked looking over the module.

"YOU'LL NEVER SEE IT COOOOOOMING!" Twilight declared as she broke out into a dance.

'You asked for Twiley...'

Session 93.12 Unown3 Spoilers for Season 9, episode 4.

Discord angrily popped in. "TWILIGHT! YOU DID SOMETHING UNEXPECTED BY DOING THE EXPECTED BEFORE I COULD! SHAME ON YOU!" And Discord popped out again.

"That was actually rather satisfying..." Twilight said.

Session 93.13 Unown3 Spoilers for Season 9, episode 4.

"Why are wearing those pink arm bands with the luv-cat pictures on them?" An innocent unicorn foal asked a royal guard.

"We are wearing these bands of shame so all might know of our failure."

"What failure is that?"

"We are not allowed to say."

Princess Luna had in fact gotten the idea from the human world where some guards were indeed made to wear pink arm bands for minor offenses. That the royal guards had fallen for Pinkie Pie and Applejack's distractions, and Applejack had successfully snagged a guard star, was proof to the guards that while they had certainly improved, they were still room for improvement.

Also inspired from what she'd learned from the human world, she'd also commissioned a Combine (yes that's what the plural for mimes is) of mimes to mock bad drivers in Manehatten, as long as they didn't lock ponies in invisible boxes.

-

"And I, Pinkamina Diane Pie, swear to never reveal the deep dark origin of Marshmallows to Ponykind," Pinkie Pie said, swearing on a stack of marshmallows.

"Thanks... cousin," Applejack said, "Can ya get these old oinkers to Griffonstone?"

"On the double." The griffons would get the meat, the diamond dogs the bones, and equestrian marshmallow makers would get the cartilage.

-

Apple Bloom asked innocent, "Applejack, where do they come from?"

"What? Marshmallows? Why are ya askin'-"

"Uh no, Ah know that already. Ah meant why are barns red?"

"HUH?! OH! That... Well, early earth ponies thought painting their houses was a sign of vanity, which they associated with the tyrannical unicorn elites, since paint at the time wasn't used for anything but to look pretty. To protect their barns from erosion, instead it was "right wood, right place, needed no paint". Earth ponies dealt out extra to pegasi as 'protection money' to keep the wind, sun, and rain off their barns, and combined with lots of heartwood.

"Eventually earth ponies fed up with that, and one clever pony came up with a mix of
milk, lime, turpentine, linseed oil , makin' it brunt orange to protect from rain... but it didn't protect from mold and moss, so they added in rust, making it red, and it was literally dirt cheap since rust is everywhere.

"By the time paint was mass produced, red was the cheapest again cause rust was dirt cheap... but now red barns are tradition, of which there is no greater thing... Oh, and did ya know? Barn came from the words "bere" and "aern" meaning grain and storage... Twili taught me that one..."

"Ah figured..."

"Wait... you know about the secret of marshmallows?"

"Wait, that was supposed to be a secret?"

"Oh-Oh."

-

"Baby, I know you love me, but ya gotta give me some space." Said a stallion loudly. To the annoyance of everyone in the movie theater.

"And now the hero is fighting some bad guy with chains." Said a pony, her horn and quill growing brightly as she wrote down everything that was happening to magic the message to her friend. The light distracting everyone around here.

Then a mare completely covered in black like a kabuki theater stage hand grabbed the stallion. While a colt similarity disguised (except for his beanie) grabbed the mare.

Maternity was reluctant to bring Button Mash to her other job, rather than taking him to the Daycare she usually ran... but today was the day that 'bring you foal to work' day fell on, and her husband was unavailable, as usual.

"I'm telling you! That theater has ninjas!" Swore one pony as Lyra and Bon Bon entered the movie theater.

(A London theater did hire people to do this.)

-

"Rainbow Dash. You cost my brother his job. You manipulated him. You will go on one date with him, as long as he doesn't try to get you to lift your tail, you will be polite to him the entire time."

"I will... be polite the entire time." Repeated back Rainbow Dash under the might of the Stare.

"Princess Luna! You will arrange Zephyr to get a job with Canterlot's best hair dressers. Wether he's fired after that is his own fault."

"Thy Stare cannot dominate us... but we shall do as ye request of."

"And Rarity, you'll recommend Zephyr to all your friends for mane care unless he gives you a reason not to."

"Yes darling... I obey."

"OH FLUTTERSHY! I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU!" Discord said popping in and hugging her. "Now I can invite you to the Equestrian Hypnotist/Mind-Controller/Brainwashers Club!"

"Oh!" Fluttershy blushed deeply. "I'm just looking out for my little brother, I do think he need to take care of himself, but that does't mean I can't be in his corner."

"Don't worry Wuv Cats! I've come to rescue you and set you free!" Cozy Glow said, undoing their cages and letting them into a large cave... that lit up with circular torches revealing an arena with young black changelings all around.

"Of your need to think or worry about anything."

"Feed!" Chrysalis pointed. "And don't forget, first, second, and third place get a nice shiny medal!" A magical score board showing who had drained the most love-cats was illuminated.

"YAY!" Cheered the young changelings happily, wishing each other luck, and some giving each other friendly rival grins.

"Let the Glutton Bowl begin!"

Chrysalis' changelings swarmed. Cozy Glow watched the sport with Tirek and a bag of popcorn.

Session 93.14 Ardashir

"No no no!" Twilight Owl hooted as she dodged another blast of fire from the white-scaled elegant dragoness. She ducked under a snatching claw. "Nopony, er, owl told me there'd be a kirin faction!"

All about her, her were-owl flock -- at least those that were still were-owls -- either tried to attack the chief were-dragon's weak spots or sought to save the notes they'd been keeping. Their enraged hoots filled the air along with the soft rustling of owl wings in flight. At least until the were-dragons took to the air with roars, their wing-membranes snatching at the air like claws as they flew at the were-owls. Claws closed on feathered bodies, holding them helpless as they pecked at impregnable scaly flesh. Gleaming fangs nipped them lightly. The were-owls dropped to the forest floor, writhing as a new and strange transformation twisted their flesh. Feathers became thick scales. Beaks became long reptilian muzzles. Wings turned to membranes. And when they rose?

"All hail Kirin-Lord Spike and his consort Lady Rarity!" They roared. They flew after the ever-decreasing flock of owls. "All shall serve him!"

"You got that right!" Spike stretched his long neck and preened. As a kirin, he was already in adult form if not adult size, being only slightly larger than Big Mac. He stabbed a claw in Twilight's direction. "Get that last owl, she's their leader!"

Eager dragons flew after her, screeching and roaring as they grabbed at her.

"Ahhh!" Twilight spell-blasted them back, sending the beasts tumbling away with angry roars. She flew for the edge of the clearing. Once she was among the trees, she could escape. The dragons would have to tear them apart to get through them. She could rest, and recoup her losses from the other tribes, and plan to defeat her treacherous assistant. "Spike! How can you do this? I always treated you great!"

"Sorry Twilight," Spike called from where he hovered, surrounded by his kirin and with Rarity beside him. "But whenever we played games you were always out for blood. Your father, your mother, Shiny, me, Princess Celestia, you never 'let' anyone win. Fair's fair!" He waggled one claw in admonishment. He gave a yell as a spell-blast went off in his face.

"Laugh that off!" Twilight called back to him as she flew under the trees. Safe at last! Maybe she should track down the other tribe-leaders and warn them about Spike's kirin. And if they weren't wary enough? Well, a single peck from her would recruit them and remove a rival. A smile curved on Twilight's beak at the thought. Like Spike said, nopony ever got an easy win from her.

"Twilight." A palomino stood under the trees, her green eyes almost aglow in the darkness. "What are ya doin' here?"

"Applejack!" Twilight dropped down in front of her. Spike's kirin were nowhere to be heard. Had she already outdistanced them? She transformed back into her pony form. "Listen, Discord and Spike tricked us. He's leader of a tribe of kirin. They just wiped out my owls..."

She yelled as Applejack dove on her, and froze as she transformed into a large golden-scaled dragoness.

"Ah know. He came here right after gettin' mah were-dogs." Applejack lowered her scaly muzzle and bit.

Moments later a pair of kirin, one golden and one purple, flew back out of the forest to land and bow at Spike's clawed feet. All around him the kirin were digging out and squabbling over whatever treasures Twilight's owls had assembled from the ponies they transformed.

"All hail the King of Kirin," they said in unison. "Command us, oh master."

"Hah!" Spike hugged Rari-dragon close. He pointed a claw at Twilight. "For once I get to assign the chores."

"Yeah," Twilight said, looking up, her eyes aglow with a warning. "But just remember what can happen when the game is over, for your mommy."

Spike gulped. "Uh, maybe we can go easy on the chores and just concentrate on winning the game."

***

Still watching in the game room, Ember capped her claws and cheered. "Hah! Spike's better at this than I ever would have thought! I'm beginning to wonder why dragons ever feared ponies."

Even as she spoke, out the opposite window, a massive dimensional tear appeared over Canterlot. A hideous mass of tentacles began reaching out, glowing darkly with unlight, dripping abyssal slime as it sought to drag all Equestria into its own nameless dimension.

That is until a gleaming ray of light came down from the very sun in the sky and reduced it to ashes. Celestia went back inside the Sun Palace and returned to her cake and tea.

Ember gulped. "Heh. Oh yeah. That."

Session 93.15 Mtangalion

On one of Discord’s screens, werefox Prince Blueblood paused, glancing around. "If any creature is listening, I say again, I’m the real Prince Blueblood, and I did not agree to..."

Discord hastily waved that screen away. "Goodness," he said to Ember’s raised eyebrow. "I was such a kidder when I made that obvious NPC."

Session 93.16 Kendell2

Spike blinked as his Werekirin ran out of the large den dug out. He growled and tried to jump in himself...only to get a face full of Wereskunk spray. His face turned green and he fell on his back grabbing his nose with a gag. While naturally not hurting him (no one could actually get hurt) it wasn't pleasant by any stretch. "No fair! Dragons shouldn't be bothered by something like skunk spray!"

Fluttershy came out, not looking particularly happy. "Spike, did you like it when Twilight got sprayed during Winter Wrap Up?"

"No..."

"Then why would you here?" asked Fluttershy. "The entire point of skunk spray is to protect them from things bigger and stronger than them. Besides, do you really think Discord would give you something that could beat me easily?"

"...No..."

"If the others want to fight you, they can, but I just want to build up my civilization and enjoy the game. I never wanted to be part of the fighting part...though I will defend myself if needed...and in all honesty, you and Discord aren't playing fair," said Fluttershy sternly.

"What? We're just playing to win!"

Fluttershy looked at him, reminding him that this wasn't the same Fluttershy he'd met that day in Ponyville. She'd gotten much more assertive and willing to put her hoof down. "What are your weaknesses? What can anyone do to stop you from just crushing everyone else?"

"...Well...uh...skunk spray?"

"Only because I know Discord and he probably wanted me to not be stomped by you," said Fluttershy. "If Twilight were still a Wereowl, my Wereskunks' musk wouldn't have any effect on her at all, and there are ways around it. It's no fun to play a game when the rest of the players don't stand any chance at all against you, is it?"

"Well...I guess you've got a bit of a point..."

"If you want to keep playing like this, I won't stop you, but I will play the game the way I want to," Fluttershy continued, returning to her den with her group. "Oh, and by the way, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie know what you're up to, they're not going down as easily as Twilight, Applejack, and Rarity did if you decide to pick on them."

She left out that both of them had gotten some 'stink bomb ingredients' from her.

"Oh..."

Applejack coughed, holding her nose. "So, 'King', any clue where to find enough tomato juice to deskunk our entire pack?"

"...Oh...Oh boy..."

"Country management is part of the game," Twilight, doing the same. "Do you have any resources...AT ALL?"

"...Horseapples..."

Session 93.17 Jarkes

(OOC: Adding something based on what Cathy Weseluck said about Spike's relationship with Twilight on Twitter)

"I'm confused," Starlight said. "Is Twilight's Spike's mom or older sister? Feels like sometimes she acts like his mom and other times she acts like a sister."

Spike put a claw to his chin. "Well... Twilight hatching my egg probably made me more or less imprint on her, but since Twilight's own parents raised me the most, I... guess it could be both?"

"...That'll work," Starlight replied.

Session 93.18 Mtangalion

At the Friendship Gaming Academy, Rainbow Dash was following Starlight Glimmer through the hallways... actually walking on the ground at an ordinary pace, in an incredible display of patience, for her. "So, a lot of creatures are complaining about my new ‘Learn awesomeness by flying over creatures being awesome course’ ... because they can’t fly. Duh. But if we could zap all of them with that magic wings spell..."

Starlight had a thoughtful look. "Mass-casting that spell would be hard, even for me, but perhaps I could..." She opened a door with her magic and stepped out into an open-air courtyard... only to have her hooves slip all over the unexpectedly icy pavement. The unicorn face-planted and lay there twitching. "Ow..."

Rainbow zipped outside, hovering over the ice. "I didn’t do it."

Starlight smirked. "And yet you’re so quick to deny. Winter Wrap-Up was weeks ago. How..." Her eyes widened, seeing Pavel the Diamond Wolf pup and Scruff the Diamond Dog pup in the center of the little patch of deep winter. "Oh no, they’re fighting again!"

Starlight braced herself to rush into the fray, but Rainbow suddenly held up a hoof and shook her head, making a shushing motion. Starlight blinked, then took another look, listening.

The pups were sitting back on their haunches facing each other, each pressing his forepaws against the other’s with foreheads adorably furrowed in concentration. "This is kinda fun," Scruff admitted. The storm clouds summoned by their combined ice magic swirled above their heads, dumping more snow. He smirked, showing his fangs a bit. "Even if it’s obviously some kind of wolf trick!"

Pavel matched the grin. "Maybe trick, maybe not!"

"Back in the mines," mused Scruff, "the other dogs got mad at me every time I showed off my magic. ‘Stop getting snow in tunnels! Bad dog, you clean up this mess!’ You’re trying to get me in trouble!"

"No!" barked Pavel. "Not showing off. Using magic just to show off is bad, good wolves don’t do it! But training’s okay!" He nodded vigorously.

Scruff arched a brow. "So, you train a *dog*, who used to be an enemy of your pack? Why?"

Pavel winced... Scruff had him there! "Pavel’s learning ice magic with Scruff for, um..." His ears perked up. "Game! Yes! Scruff is opponent, not enemy!"

Pavel trailed off, as if he couldn’t believe that he’d actually said such a thing about a diamond dog. He shook himself. "No fun when the game’s too easy." He motioned to the beautifully sculpted two-story ice castle behind him, and then at Scruff’s shoddy, half-melted attempt to do the same.

Scruff rose up on two legs, looming. "So you think I’m no good at this, huh?" Grinning, he raised his forepaws over his head... and just stood there, posing.

Pavel blinked, flicking one ear. "What’s this, what’re you doing?" The wolf pup wiggled his claws, levitating a half-dozen small snowballs. He lobbed them one by one... they smacked Scruff right in the chest, but the dog just stood there, grinning. "You’re hiding something. I’m watching you, your trick won’t work!"

But then Pavel realized that a shadow was falling over him. He looked up, and his ears instantly drooped. There was a massive snowball right over his head, getting fed straight from the snow clouds. The wolf pup yiped as the snowball started to fall... he threw his own forepaws in the air, and the giant snowball stopped, hovering between them, shaking faster and faster until it flew apart!

Both pups managed to deflect most of the snow away from themselves with their magic, which meant that Rainbow and Starlight got covered from mane to hooves.

Scruff froze. "Did we just..."

Pavel gulped. "... snowball our teachers?"

The pups looked at each other, then turned tail and ran, yip-yip-yipping!

"Hey now, what’s your hurry?" said Dash, shaking the snow off. Moving in a lightning blur, she bucked the snow clouds, tapping once, twice, thrice... and they dumped a tall rampart of snow, cutting off the pups’ escape.

Starlight grinned and conjured elemental ice, animating two giant snowpony golems. "You want to play, boys? Let’s play."

Scruff and Pavel looked to each other again. "Allies?" offered Pavel.

"Friends!" countered Scruff.

Pavel scoffed, before grinning and high-pawing with Scruff. The pups stood shoulder to shoulder, animating enough snowballs for a small war, and then the battle was on.

Headmare Twilight sipped her morning tea, mildly annoyed by the raging blizzard that she could see out her window, on what should have been a fine spring day.

"We should investigate!" exclaimed Spike. "It could be Windigos! Or King Charlatan! Or maybe the Windigos AND King Charlatan, teaming up to conquer Equestria!"

Twilight tisked. "Don’t be silly, Spike. Villains only manage to cooperate long enough to team up in those comic books of yours. I bet you 10 bits that Rainbow Dash is involved somehow."

Spike sighed and tossed his comic book aside. "No bet."

Session 93.19 Unown3

"Where's Princess Wave Dancer?" Starlight asked. "I think she missed one of her sessions with me."

"Huh? Oh sorry! I meant to tell you, but I was dealing with Equalists handing out free copies of your manifesto just outside school property... "

"I can't belive that's still going on!"

"Well, to be fair, without you, the philosophy has had a chance to be 'tweaked' to fit ponies' varying levels of devotion-"

"да иди ты! ONE IS EITHER AN EQUALIST OR THEY ARE NOT! THERE IS NO IN-BETWEEN! Oh! Sorry! Engrained reaction, but where is Wave Dancer?"

"Oh, we converted a section of the school, and now she's having an underwater polo battle... of MIXED TEAMS of Seaponies and merponies!"

"This I have GOT to see!"

Session 93.20 Mtangalion

"NO!" shouted Spike. "Don't open that door!"

Gallus looked over his shoulder. "Huh?" But his claw was already on the door handle, and...

BWOOSH! A wall of water poured out, instantly sweeping the young griffon away.

"Aw, not again," said Princess Wavedancer, as the torrent carried her and another dozen merpony and seapony students out of their special underwater classroom and into the hall.

Spike hovered, giving the minor disaster a flat stare. "Maybe we should clear out the basement and make *that* the underwater zone." He made notes on his clipboard.

Gallus surfaced, cringing and yowling. "Yeah, yeah, laugh all you want, but I HATE GETTING WET!"

A grinning Silverstream swam over and dropped a transformation pearl necklace around his neck. "There you go! Now you're a catfish bird!"

Gallus groaned at his new scales and fins. "This is so not helping."

Session 93.21 Ardashir

"Yeesh!" Smolder lapped around the corner and looked down on the disaster below. "What happened here?"

"Hey!" Silverstream held up another magical pearl necklace. "We have one more spare! Smolder, maybe you want to --" She stopped as Smolder held her muzzle shut with one clawed hand.

"I heard what happened ta Spike," Spike looked mortally embarrassed. Smolder folded her arms over her chest. "Anyone tries ta turn ME into some goofy pufferfish an' I'll poison everyone I see."

The students and faculty all immediately backed away from the triumphantly smiling little dragon

Session 93.22.1 Mtangalion Unown3

Princess Wave Dancer, crawling to her said with a smile, "You know... aquatic adaption magic used for visiting Aquastria is VERY different... you could become a real sea-dragon instead of a puffer fish if you want to give it a try..."

Meanwhile, Gallus angrily slapped what water remained with his tailfin. "This doesn't even make sense. I'm a griffon! I can't be a fish. Griffons EAT fish!"

Silverstream's eyes widened, and she backed up a bit. "Um, you're not a fish... hehe! Not exactly!"

"Define... not exactly." One of the merpony students helpfully conjured a magic mirror, so Gallus could see his beak-like maw full of sharp pointy teeth, and how finely scaled and rough his hide was... and also the large, distinctive fin on his back. "Oh... OH!" He grinned slyly with that maw full of shark teeth, a terrifying sight. "Okay, I feel better now, but could somecreature..." He frowned, thrashing a bit. "... who still has opposable digits... get this necklace off me?!"

A certain young yak, also caught in the flood, raised her hoof energetically. "Ooh! Yona wants to try next!" She paused, seeming to reconsider. "But yak still can't swim..."

Session 93.23 Ardashir Unown3

Before Smolder could say anything, Sludge waddled in.

"Hey, no, try that thing on me!" He grabbed for the pearl.

"What? No!" Wave Dancer tried to pull it away from the greedy obese dragon. "That's not for you -- ah!"

The pearl of transformation flared as its magic enveloped Sludge.

"Hah! All right!" Sludge wriggled in the water. As the horrified students and faculty backed away, he blinked in confusion. "Yeesh, what's wrong?"

"Uh, actually?" Smolder gulped at the sight of a four foot long lamprey in Sludge's colors on the floor. "You probably don't wanna know."

"What this written here? Storm Empire imitation magic pearl, for display use only, do not use."

"Okay, now I can show you how aquatic adaption for merponies would ACTUALLY work!"

-

"Hey guys, how do I look?" asked a towering orange sea serpent grinning.

Pinkie Pie opened the door to reveal a literal wall of water.

"Ooooh, I didn't know water could stand up on it's side."

"It can't Pinkie."

"It can't? BLAGH!"

Rainbow Dash thrashed her mane to get the water out as they were carried along. "TWILIGHT! Next time Pinkie Pie asks you, 'can water stand on its side' YOU SAY YES!"

Session 93.24 Kendell2

Twilight was quite fond of the Manecraft castle she'd built around a village, with all the time and effort involved, and using actual historical fortifications. Putting machicolations into all the walls had taken forever, but both looked nice and was practical. The gate house was also designed to let her attack from inside the village walls through one block holes so no one could get in.

And as fate would have it, the new update with enhanced villages and hostile pillagers had also been introduced, which included a raid style event that could be triggered. Twilight decided to try it out, and while there were three villages on her way back from the nearest outpost, it was both less practical to do...and she didn't feel right not preparing them for a raid ahead of time like she had her own highly fortified one.

So she entered her village and began the raid, with the armed hostile raiders coming...And Twilight smirked when she realized indeed, they had spawned outside the castle walls and thus her villagers were safe.

"I think I can do this...wait, what's that noise?" she asked, hearing something in her headset.

A Phantom swooped down, leaving her fighting the airborne monsters AND the invading pillagers at the same time. Thankfully having a fortified castle meant she could simply fall back inside and recover, and the natural mote around it bogged down the Pillagers. Their massive war beasts where a serious problem...until she remembered the gate house and lured them in where she could attack them without being knocked back.

"I wish I'd had buckets of lava ready..." she admitted, knowing if she had she could've dumped it on their heads through the machicolations. Still, she was thankful for the battlements protecting her from their crossbows.

After a long battle, she eventually slayed the last pillager and jumped as fireworks went off and she was declared Hero of the Village.

Twilight gave a smile. "And Rainbow Dash said all that historical accuracy was a waste of time. Though next time I'll keep some lava and maybe divide up the inside area in
case they do get in." She then gave a happy cry as the first gift a villager gave her was, fittingly enough, a book.

OOC: My first pillager raid. Making your village protected by a castle turns out to be very useful.

Session 93.25 Unown3

"You want us to WHAT?!" Princess Twilight exclaimed.

Prince Shining Armor explained. "I want Starlight Glimmer, along with a hoof full of brainwashed creatures of her own choosing (though I'd prefer if they volunteered to be brainwashed for this exercise) minus myself, to try and sneak in and mind zap Celestia... After what Sombra did, we really need to test out the security system against all the villains who use mind control, and with Starlight the winner of Equestria's Most Powerful Hypnotist, she seems like the logical choice."

"So Starlight uses her mind magic on a hoof-full of ponies, minus you, and with them, try to mind zap Celestia just to test to see if it's possible?!"

"Yeah, pretty much, we need to test out these new anti-mind-control security somehow, and Starlight's the one expert we have that's on our side. Well, there's you, but having you take a crack at it after you already tested one part of the security system feels like it'll taint the results. There's one major condition. It can't reach mine, Celestia, or Luna that somepony has been mentally compromised, or Starlight loses."

"I know I should feel ashamed and/or horrified... but there's a little Starlight in me that's jumping for joy!" Starlight resisted so hard the excitement building up inside her.

"And Twiley, don't help or hinder me or Starlight," Shining Armor added.

"Alright," Twilight nodded. Hoping that Starlight didn't think to brain-zap her to get around that condition. Or go back in time, and brain zap her before they even made this agreement and implanted a mental suggestion to be activated at Starlight's command, or age regress her into a filly and tell Twilight that Starlight was her babysitter and do what Starlight says... and Twilight REALLY hoped Starlight hadn't found a mind reading spell!

Session 93.26 Mtangalion

A door burst open into the flooded corridor with all the still aquatically transformed students, and the new mini-waterfall brought Discord to them, lounging on a transparent plastic pool float, and wearing shades and a striped one-piece upper and lower body swimsuit that probably would have given Rarity an aneurysm.

Discord flipped up his shades. "Well? Isn't somecreature going to say it? That's how the game is played, after all."

Silverstream cleared her throat theatrically. "Discord! So you're responsible for all this chaos!" She dove and surfaced next to Discord, stage whispering, "How was that?"

Discord nodded, stroking his goatee, "Not bad... you're no Princess Celestia, but you definitely get points for enthusiasm. Also... Wrong! You splendid, splendid pupils made this chaos all on your own! Though, I won't deny... I am taking full advantage." He pushed back the fur on his lion paw's wrist, exposing a meter with the needle pointing towards Full and beeping loudly. "You children have done such an excellent job of topping up my chaos reserves, I'm inclined to grant a few freebies."

Discord snapped his fingers, and Yona transformed into a manatee. She spoke excitedly underwater. Princess Wavedancer ducked her head under the water to listen, then splashed back to the surface. "She said she likes it!"

Discord grinned up at Smolder. "And what would you like, my dear?"

Smolder craned her serpentine neck to look at Discord nose to nose. "Make me a lot bigger. Duh."

"Oh ho!" said Discord. "We're going to need the ocean for that. Field trip!"

Session 93.27 Mtangalion

Gilda sprawled in the beat-up old living room recliner, dug around in her jeans pocket, and pulled out her phone to fire up one of her guilty pleasures... Last Fantasy Mystic Scribe. Playing World of Horsecraft with Dash was cool and all, but too much of playing the same game for fun that she debugged at work could drive a girl batty. Speaking of which...

Gabby bounced right into her field of view, still wearing her postal service uniform. "Tell me how to griffon-up!"

"No," said Gilda, leaning to one side so she could see her game and keep playing.

Gabby immediately leaned in from the other side of the recliner. "Please, Gilda?"

"Nope."

They went back and forth and back and forth. "Please... please please..."

"Nuh uh!"

Gabby pointed a finger at Gilda’s phone. "You should take Excalibur off Bartz and equip the Mana Shard instead. It has bonus fire damage."

"Shut up," snapped Gilda. "If that was better, I would have done it already..." She did a double-take, blinking at her phone. "Son of a..." She tapped in the change that Gabby had suggested, hoping she wouldn’t see. "Why are you over here again? Don’t you have your own place?"

Gabby flopped on the couch nearby, pulling Ember into her lap. "But this is where most of the cute and cuddly talking dogs are!"

"Hey, who are you calling cute!?" snarled Garble... until Gabby started scritching his ears, and then the scruffy red and gold dog got a goofy expression with tongue lolling. "Ugh... more please!"

Gabby beamed and started scritching Ember’s belly fur too. "I bet you could tell me how to griffon-up, couldn’t you, Ember? You’re a good girl, aren’t you? Yes, you are!"

Ember licked Gabby’s hand, similarly blissed out. "I think you have to go to..."

"Don’t tell her that!" shouted Gilda.

Right about then, Gallus came downstairs, with Smolder the puppy running in circles around his sneakers and threatening to trip him up. "Play time!" yipped Smolder happily. "Is it play time yet? Is it, is it?"

Gallus rolled his eyes and patted her. "In a minute. Um... sis?" He was standing in front of Gilda’s recliner. "Sorry to bother you, but could you help me with some homework?"

Gilda frowned, still tapping away at her game. "Unless it’s shop class homework, you’re probably gonna be disappointed. And don’t call me sis."

In the rocking chair across the room, Grampa Gruff lowered his newspaper, giving them an evil cackle. "Gilda, don’t talk to your brother that way."

Garble jerked a thumb-claw towards Smolder. "I’m starting to agree with newbie there. Come on, why isn’t it playtime yet!?"

Gilda gritted her teeth. "You know... since you dogs are smart now, you could open that door and let yourselves into the backyard. Heck, you could toss the ball to each other!"

Garble, Smolder, and Ember all stared at her, muzzles hanging open.

Gilda smirked. "Whoops, I broke their tiny doggy brains again."

"Hey!" barked Garble. "Our brains are NOT..."

"Squirrel."

"Where!? Where, where’s the squirrel!?"

"I rest my case," said Gilda, nose in her mobile phone game again.

Session 93.28 Unown3

Rainbow Dash asked awkwardly, "Twilight... why is the adventure map a mess... why do your notes look like my high school history final, and ... uh, your face... kinda reminds me off... "

"The Smarty Pants Incident?" Rarity finished, feeling her fur stand on edge from looking at the chaotic and sloppy state their Ogres and Oubliettes game was in.

"Well... after Dusty Pages got me to let go of perfection... I decided to do exactly what Starlight Glimmer did and instead of finding a more mature and balanced view of doing my best... I went for the totally opposite direction and embrace imperfection!"

Session 93.29 Unown3

"Also as part of my new philosophy of imperfection, I've placed the new lava pool for dragon students and water pool for seapony and mere pony student right next to each other." Twilight said with a demented imperfect smile with an imperfect mane cut.

The entire castle rumbled. A wall of fog came crashing through, carrying along griffins, pegasi, and other winged creatures for whom clouds were like solid matter.

"RUN FOR IT!" Rainbow shouted. The Mane Six and Spike fled the castle as the mass of fog engulfed the castle.

-

"Hey Fluttershy!" Zephyr Breeze boasted. "Guesss what?"

"You got a clue?" Rainbow injected.

"Remember my investment in Cloud Bricks?"

Rainbow sniggered. "Right, that idiotic idea for square clouds..."

"Well they perfect technology! Cloud brick houses are being used in all the new cloud constructions now!"

'Oh right, I remember painfully running into one,' Rainbow thought.

"And as their sole major share holder, that means I'm rich!" Zephyr cheered.

'Great, what Equestria needs, another rich idiot,' Rainbow thought.

"OH!... I'm very happy for you little brother," Fluttershy said.

"And I even found an investment firm to help me handle my cash so I don't go blowing it! F&F Inc! They say somepony like me with that much money, it would be a crime for me to not work with them!"

"... " Rainbow and Fluttershy looked at each other.

"Uh, is this firm based in Los Pegasus?"

"How did you know?!"

"Uh, Zephyr, you haven't signed anything yet have you?" Rainbow Dash asked.

Fluttershy meanwhile called. "Discord? Could you come pretty please?"

Discord appeared. "Just because you said please, and because it's you Fluttershy! Oh! It's him!" Discord said seeing Zephyr and thinking of what creative ways he could ahem, 'not' hurt.

"Can you please turn me into Fluttercruel for 12 hours and leave me alone with Flim and Flam please?"

"... Well this is unusual."

Session 93.30 Ardashir

"You!" Twilight stormed through the crowds waiting outside the sports auditorium in Flim and Flam's casino. "You're the cause of all this! So you're going to help fix it!"

Zephyr fought to escape her telekinetic grip as the not-very-friendly-at-the-moment Princess of Friendship dragged him along behind her. A smiling Rainbow Dash followed at a distance, scarfing popcorn. Before them a pair of doors were open wide under banners reading EQUESTRIAN CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING. Special One Night Event Only! Triple Threat Tag Team Event featuring the return of Diamante Elegante! Mystery Mare! And for the first time anywhere, Flutterrage, third member of the Elements of Destruction! Versus the Stable of Savagery, the Herd of Horror, the Dark Princesses Sunset Stomp, Night Terror, and Heartbreaker!

Twilight scowled to see on one side, three very familiar looking ponies -- Cheerilee, Rarity, and Fluttershy, all dressed in full body suits like they had for that wrestling event years ago. On the other side to her disgust were three mares -- a flaming unicorn, a dark purple pegasus, and a lovely if wicked-looking pink Earth pony. All three wore gear designed to make them resemble alicorns.

"Huh," Dash scratched her chin at the sight of the posters. "How th' hay did Flim and Flam get this all set up and promoted in less than a day? It's amazing how things can move at the speed of plot sometimes."

"Speaking of plots, Dash honey," Zephyr smiled and began saying as an angry Twilight bought their tickets. Dash stuck her hoof in his mouth.

"One more word and I hurt you," she said in perfect calmness. Zephyr gulped and shut up.

Tickets in hoof the three made their way to ringside through a crowd of ponies from all three tribes -- as well as cheering teenage dragons, snorting minotaurs tossing their horns, yelping Diamond Dogs with their fur dyed in unnatural (for them) shades, and shrieking griffins with a banner that bore the legend DARK PRINCESSES 4 EVER. Twilight snorted, lowered her head like she wanted to gore someone, and forced her way to ringside where Discord stood.

"Oh, Twilight! Fancy seeing you here!" Discord waved at her. He wore a plaid jacket so loud Twilight wondered how it was legal along with wraparound shades and a Griffonstone fez. "Oh, and you brought Fluttershy's little brother." He looked sour. "What a pleasure."

"Discord," Twilight snapped. Rarity and Cheerilee at least tried to look abashed as Twilight gave them dirty looks before turning to -- was that Fluttershy?

The yellow pegasus was snorting and tossing her mane, wings flared out, and glaring at the other side of the ring which stood empty and awaiting the arrival of the Dark Princesses.

"Flutters?" Ignoring Discord's sudden warning hand waves, Twilight approached the savage mare. "Is that you? Look, I know about your brother," she frowned at Zephyr, "and the business with Flim and Flam. We can get the money back legally without stooping to this savagery." She reached out and touched Fluttershy's near wither.

The next thing Twilight knew she hurled screaming into the middle of the ring. Fluttershy took to the air, eyes ablaze. "SO! YOU WANT SOME FLUTTERRAGE TOO, MISS PRISSY PRINCESS? I'VE GOT PLENTY TO GO AROUND!"

With a berserk whinny she dove on Twilight and a dustball of Y7-rated violence filled the ring.

"Okay," Dash hovered beside Discord. "So, uh, I thought you were gonna turn Fluttercruel loose on those swindlers." She winced as something in the ring brought howls of bloodthirsty glee from the audience. "Okay, that looks painful."

"Well, I did," Discord said, waving his hand and making a bullhorn appear (a nearby minotaur suddenly found himself less a horn). "But when Flim and Flam suggested to Fluttershy that she could solve all her foolish brother's debts and earn enough to keep the animal sanctuary going for a year with just one little wrestling match, Fluttershy was delighted." He shrugged, ignoring Twilight's pleas for mercy, Flutterrage's howls of fury, and the crowd's hideous glee. "Turns out she likes pro wrestling. Who knew?"

Twilight slammed down near them, gripping the ring mat with both forehooves. "For Celestia's sake get me out of here!" Yellow hooves dragged her back in. "Ahhhh!"

"Okay, much as I enjoy stuff like this, I feel like we should be adults and get Twi and Flutter out of this mess." Dash nodded at the ring.

"Okay, but then," Discord grinned and pointed his thumb at Zephyr, who was making eyes at Dash. "You won't get to see me toss him into the ring with the three Dark Princesses. And they're in such a bad mood."

"Really?" Dash stretched and leaned back. "Be a shame to waste the tickets."

She smiled innocently at Zephyr as she thought of what was to come. And that fool Zephyr smiled right back.

Session 93.31 Mtangalion

"I’m having second thoughts about this," muttered Gilda, surveying the tower before them. Like every structure in Griffonstone that was more than a year old, it was looking worse for wear. On the other claw, it was the only building still standing in this part of the former royal court, and at three stories high, it might have been one of the tallest intact buildings in the whole city. "Gabby should be the one doing this. Knocking on doors and talking to strange griffs is her thing."

Gabby tapped her talons together, blushing. "Well, he kind of already slammed the door in my face when I said I didn’t have a package for him."

Gerold chuckled, leaning close and draping a wing over Gilda’s back. "You’re the one who’s supposed to be our guiding light of friendship stuff, Gil. Don’t tell me you’re afraid."

Gilda smirked and nuzzled Gerold’s cheek, then shoved him away playfully. "As if. Well, here goes..." Gilda sucked in a deep breath, and knocked on the tower door authoritatively.

Immediately, there was a great clatter from within the tower, as if some startled griffon had bumped into a precariously balanced pile of junk and brought it tumbling down. Boreas knows, they’d all heard plenty of that around Griffonstone! "Go away!" squawked a voice, in a heavy Old Griffish accent. "I mean... who dares intrude!?" A small panel in the door slid open, and the griffon inside glared at them.

The eyes blinked slowly. "Well, this is a strange assemblage to find on my doorstep. I don’t see any torches or pitchforks, and you hardly look an adventuring party, or a gaggle of grifflets knocking on the door of the ‘big bad wizard’ on a dare..." The eyes narrowed. "I warn you! If you mean me harm, I’m more than capable of raining fire and ruin down on you from here to..."

"Yeah, yeah, we don’t need any of that," interrupted Gilda. "You’re Giles, right? Can you lift a buckball basket with magic?"

"What... what did you say!?" They heard several locks being unlocked, and what sounded like a ward being dispelled, before the tower door flew open and the wizard popped out. He was small and scruffy, for a griffon... ponies would have said that he resembled a great horned owl crossed with a cougar, wearing a vest and slightly-cracked spectacles. "Well, of course!" he said, feathers a bit ruffled. "That’s the least of what Giles, mightiest griffon wizard of the age, can do! But why..."

"For buckball!" squealed Gabby happily, leaning definitely too far into Giles’ personal space. "It’s a game where..."

Giles drew back, glaring at her suspiciously. "Yes, yes, I know perfectly well what buckball is... for with my mystic arts, I have gazed far and wide..."

"So you already know the rules!" exclaimed Gabby. "That’s great!"

Gerold cleared his throat, trying not to intimidate the smaller griff. "So, it’s like this... There’s a big buckball tournament coming up, and we want to field a Griffonstone team for an exhibition match! I can do the kicking stuff on the ground, and nobody can dodge and weave in the air like Gabs... but ponies will say we’re not a real team unless we’ve got the magic part covered too." He grinned. "And that’s where you come in! If, you know, you want to and stuff..."

Giles blinked at them owlishly. "Nogriffon has ever knocked on my door just to ask me to play a friendly game with them..." He lifted a foreleg and casually beckoned with glowing talons, causing four chairs and a table to come flying through the air and neatly arrange themselves on the lawn. "Come, sit. Tell me more..."

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?
What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 93.0 Unown3
Session 93.1 Ardashir
Session 93.2 Unown3
Session 93.3 Ardashir
Session 93.4 Ardashir sonicandmario826
Session 93.5 Kendell2
Session 93.6 Unown3
Session 93.7 Mtangalion
Session 93.8 Ardashir
Session 93.9 Mtangalion
Session 93.10 Ardashir and Unown3
Session 93.11 Unown3 Spoilers for Season 9, episode 4.
Session 93.12 Unown3 Spoilers for Season 9, episode 4.
Session 93.13 Unown3 Spoilers for Season 9, episode 4.
Session 93.14 Ardashir
Session 93.15 Mtangalion
Session 93.16 Kendell2
Session 93.17 Jarkes
Session 93.18 Mtangalion
Session 93.19 Unown3
Session 93.20 Mtangalion
Session 93.21 Ardashir
Session 93.22.1 Mtangalion Unown3
Session 93.23 Ardashir Unown3
Session 93.24 Kendell2
Session 93.25 Unown3
Session 93.26 Mtangalion
Session 93.27 Mtangalion
Session 93.28 Unown3
Session 93.29 Unown3
Session 93.30 Ardashir
Session 93.31 Mtangalion

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Art by Underpable
Commissioned by FlintEXP

https://www.deviantart.com/underpable/art/Game-Night-793367562

Session 94

Session 94.0 Unown3

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Literature/MakeYourOwnMagicTheStarswirlDoOver

https://mlp.fandom.com/wiki/Chapter_books#Make_Your_Own_Magic:_Starswirl_Do-Over

Sunset Shimmer was wearing a blanket, shaking, drinking hot coco, in her pony form, in Pruncess Twilight's castle, sitting in a plush chair.

"So due to yet another forgotten magic artifact, The Twirler, an ancient Equestrian device (yes yes, I got ANOTHER angry letter from Principal Celestia about us dumping our cursed artifacts in your world, I am very sorry), and a pop duo, Postcrush, who wanted everything to be perfect in their show...

You were trapped for at least year in a REAL timeloop, unlike me and Spike who were more experiencing worse and worse distorted timeline. While at the same time, experiencing multiple ALTERNATE timelines, some where you were trapped for eternity, some where the loop ran for eternity at high speed, and many worse, did Yoga for a few loops, sleep through one, didn't trust Trixie in spite of proving her friendship. Experience multiple alternate PASTS... Accused the Sirens of being behind the timeloop of course, but they weren't for once. The power of friendship did NOT work on a VIP guard... did some, naughty things my mother would not approve of with the timeloop. Began to truly go insane, and time itself began to go mad when you were chasing a shadow and suddenly having a fashion show... "

Sunset nodded. "Anyone who thinks timeloops are fun needs their head examined... In particular in one timeline where I figured the answer was to smash the Twirler... and it trapped me in the loop for eternity instead! ... I... I can actually SENSE that eternity... How does Celestia not go insane?!" Sunset looked ready to cry.

Princess Twilight wonder how she and Cadence were not going to go insane. "That's... a good question... here... let's play some chess... No 'I must be the winner' this time, just us playing chess, let the best mare win."

"...Thanks Twilight."

Session 94.1 Unown3

https://mlp.fandom.com/wiki/Friendship_is_Magic_Issue_74

"Good luck Zephyr! Get your fortune back!" Shouted a pale violet earth pony mare with brown eyes. Her mane was a slightly darker violet with a shirt tail cut, and had multiple ear piercings. Her cutie mark was a pair of scissors.

"Who are you?" Rainbow Dash asked flatly.

"Oh! I'm Pixie Cut! I'm a friend of Zephyr's! Nice guy isn't he?" She said with no irony or sarcasm.

Rainbow Dash zipped over to Discord. "I will do ANYTHING if you can use your cosmic powers to get those two on a date!"

"Anything?" Discord snapped his fingers, and a maid dress appeared, with a box next to it with the words 'wings in here'. And a box marked 'How to always dress in style.'

Rainbow Dash swallowed. Then looked at Zephyr Breeze again, who battered his eyelash at her.

"Yes!"

Discord zapped her.

"Oh .... my... darling!"

Session 94.2 sonicandmario826

"You want a hug", Twilight said before the game started.

Sunset just simply nodded and the two friends gave each other good long hug.

Session 94.3 Unown3

Shining Armor had the sinking suspicion he'd been given this enchanted comic as a joke... a joke that had fallen flat.

"VHY?! ... VHY!? I shot at your legs! I shot at your legs! Vou should have been no more!" Shouted the villain in confusion and misery.

Shining Armor, dressed as Captain Equestria with his mighty shield, said, "You do realize I don't just have super strength, but superior reaction time, superior ability to process visual information right?"

"Vhy...." Moaned the villain, pinned underneath Shining Armor's body weight and his very un-shot legs.

Session 94.4 Unown3

*spoilers for She's All Yak*

"Hey Twilight, you seen these newest posters over the Dragon Lands, Griffonstone, and the Changeling Hive? And Diamondia? And Yakyakistan? And the Storm Empire? And Klugetown?" Spike asked.

"Huh?... 'Don't Let Ponies Make You Something You're not: Burn And Pillage!' 'Don't Let Ponies Make You Something You're not: Eat Them!' 'Don't Let Ponies Make You Something You're not: Keep Your Love To Yourself!' 'Don't Let Ponies Make You Something You're not: Enslave Them!' 'Don't Let Ponies Make You Something You're not: Smash Them!' 'Don't Let Ponies Make You Something You're not: CONQUER THE WORLD!' 'Don't Let Ponies Make You Something You're not: Sell Their Bodies Parts After Enslaving Them!' Wha... WHAT IS THIS?!"

"I'm guessing that 'Evil Unbound' magazine caught wind of the apologizes to Yona..."

Session 94.5 Mtangalion

(Spoilers for She's All Yak)

The day after the big dance, Twilight was cheerfully addressing one of her classes, while levitating a piece of chalk to underline 'Enhancing Your Roleplaying with Real World Cultural Knowledge.' "You know, we got so caught up in helping Yona, we never even considered other creatures besides yaks. Who wants to share something about their big traditional celebrations with the class?"

Gallus smirked. "Because that couldn't possibly go worse than the last time we all shared, right?" He realized that Twilight was tapping a hoof at him. "Oh, you heard that. Um... believe it or not, griffons get super-into rap battles. Because they suck at dancing, and they literally cannot sing. Except for Gabby, somehow." He whispered to Smolder, "I still think that hen is part pony."

Smolder buffed her chest scales smugly. "Dragons have the hottest pool parties. Lava pool parties."

Silverstream waved a claw. "Ooh, me next! Hippogriff dancing kind of needs three dimensions... air or water. Maybe pegasi could learn some of our dances?"

Pavel kicked back in his desk. "Wolves howl at moon, to praise goddess Luna!"

"Dogs howl at the moon cause it's fun!" countered Scruff. The two pups glared at each other, growling faintly.

Ocellus sighed. "Chrysalis wasn't really big on 'non-productive' gatherings. I think we spent so much time copying other creatures, we forgot what our own celebrations were, if we ever had any..."

The other students aww'd, and swept her up in a group hug. If nothing else about the Pony Way was catching on with other creatures, group hugs definitely were.

Session 94.6 Unown3

In the were-beast enchanted comic, Rainbow Dash and her were-cheetahs, and Pinkie Pie's were monkeys were entrenching themselves for the inevitable attack by Spike and his were-kirin (the pony/dragon hybrid kind). Along the stink bombs Fluttershy had secretly loaned them.

They didn't expect a blond and white were-fox carrying a white flag to show up at their combined doorstep first.

"Parlay!" The werefox shouted. "Our Alpha, Rarity. has been absorbed by the were-kirin... we the were-foxes would like to offer our services."

Pinkie Pie the were-monkey swung from her tail, "Heyyy! I know that voice! The NPC version of Prince Blueblood?"

"YOU want to join us?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Well... safety in numbers. The were-skunks are staying neutral. We've lost our alpha as I said. Princess Twilight's were-owls and Applejack's pack have all been absorbed by the were-kirin. The two of you have put things on hold, and we'd like to offer our assistence."

"Huddle," said Rainbow Dash.

The two alphas did so.

"So, do we attack them together and split them between us?" Rainbow Dash.

"Naw. We can't afford a big fight right now. With Rarity taken out, the were-foxes can't actually win the game anymore."

Huddle broke.

"Fine Blueblood, you're part of our alliance now."

++++

"Too bad my were-foxes got away," Rarity lamented.

"Even without them, and even without Fluttershy's were-skunks. With my former were-owls and Applejack's former pack. We out number them," Twilight said. "With good tactics by me we can out smart them easily. Pinkie Pie is unpredictable and Rainbow Dash isn't cowardly, but neither are exactly good generals."

Session 94.7 Mtangalion

"Bwahaha!" Spike grinned toothily at them all, sitting behind the Oubliette Overseer’s screen. "And so, the final Element of Harmony comes into the claws of mighty Reaper. Behold! With this omnipotent power, no longer shall pony mares vastly outnumber stallions. I will make the ratio balanced, as all things should be!" The young dragon switched to his narrator voice. "The Mad Griffon Reaper puts the last gem into the Harmony Clawntlet! What will the brave heroes do next? Crimson Conjurer?"

Twilight thumped her hooves on the table. "Now is not the time to give up hope, girls! We still have one chance to save the day... even if Iron Mare and Foresight let themselves get talked into helping the villain!"

Cadence and Shining Armor grinned sheepishly, looking like foals with their hooves caught in the cookie jar.

Rainbow Dash raised one hoof confidently. "Valkyrie hangs back, waiting for *just* the right moment to attack."

Applejack groaned. "Waitin’ to charge in at the last moment and get all the glory, ya mean. We’ve gotta go now! Captain Equestria rounds up the rest of the team and leads the charge straight towards Reaper!"

"Saddle Rager will definitely stop that super-meanie!" said Fluttershy. She rolled the twenty-sided die and got a 17. "Um… yay?"

Spike rolled his dice behind the screen and winced. "Oof, not quite enough. Reaper waves the Clawntlet and uses Laughter to make Saddle Rager giggle until she’s not angry anymore."

"My turn, my turn!" squealed Pinkie, rolling the die with her hair.

Spike checked the game module. "14 means… Reaper uses the power of Honesty to dispel all Coyote’s illusions, and then he kicks the real Coyote away."

Applejack rolled next. "18! Captain Equestria grapples with Reaper and grabs the Clawntlet!"

"Ooh, so close," said Spike. "She actually manages to wrassle with Reaper for ten whole seconds before he uses Magic to toss her away! That just leaves… Valkyrie?"

Dash scooped up the D20 with a wing. "Wait for it… wait for it…" She threw… and rolled a natural 20! "Valkyrie strikes an ultra badflank pose and throws Bifrost straight at Reaper’s chest!"

Everyone gasped… even Spike. "Um… are you sure you want to…"

Dash leaned across the table, glaring. "You’re not tricking me this time! That’s what I said, and that’s what Valkyrie’s gonna do!"

Spike took a deep breath. "Her newly forged cosmic axe stabs Reaper right in the chest… and then he whispers, ‘You should have gone for the head!’ He lifts the Clawntlet, snaps his claws, and vanishes!"

The Map Room grew deathly quiet. "Um… what just happened?" asked Applejack. "What the hay did he do?"

Spike simply picked up a coin and flipped it seven times, scribbling down the results. "Iron Mare, Captain Equestria, and Coyote all sparkle and turn into stallions. The same thing is happening all over the battlefield… soon, half of ALL of the mares have turned into stallions."

"We… lost?!" said a dumbfounded Rainbow. "Wait, wait, wait… We can’t just lose! Bad guy wins, the end! Come on!"

Grinning smugly, Spike reached down and thumped another thick heavy adventure module onto the table. "Well, nobody said it was the end."

Applejack’s jaw fell open. "Harmony War... Part Two!? Wait just one apple-picking minute… Everything we did already was only part one, the whole time?"

Twilight narrowed her eyes, catching on. "So we were always going to lose this battle, no matter what!?"

Spike chuckled nervously. "Um, maybe?"

"Gahhh!"

Garble and Smolder looked up sharply, and saw Spike flying just as fast as his little wings could carry him, with Applejack galloping after him with a lasso, and Rainbow Dash and Twilight in hot pursuit from the air.

"Head him off at the pass!"

"Spike!! How much of the library budget did you spend on that?!"

"Rainbow Danger Dash does not approve of no-win scenarios!"

Smolder blinked. "Huh. There’s an angry mob chasing a dragon, and it isn’t you."

Garble scratched his head-fin. "I know, right?"

Session 94.8 Unown3

"Say WHAT?" Applejack exclaimed.

Twilight Sparkle behind the Overseer screen reiterated, "The gods have grown tired of their ponies abandoning them simply because another god gave them fancier parlor tricks, rather than caring about the beliefs or teachings of their deities. As such, your adventuring party has randomly selected by the High Priests of your faiths, to prove the gods are wrong that mortals actually do care what their god actually stands for, and not just who can hand out the better toys."

"Well, this outta be easy, of course I believe in god-that-gives-me-plus-one-on-my-attack-roll, not just cause they give me combat bonus'," Rainbow Dash said.

"That is not encouraging at all darling... At least I know I'm in good favor with Aphrodite," Rarity said. "My monk has spread her message of love and beauty everywhere she goes."

"And that's why that camp of orcs in the Swamp of Death now all wear pink bows on their helmets," Applejack said flatly.

Session 94.9 Unown3

*spoilers for end of Star Vs*

Sunset felt a buzz from her journal, but was surprised to see it was a message from Starlight.

"'Stop Twilight after she comes through the portal! I couldn't stop her! She saw the end of Starry Vs Armies of Evil'?"

"RAWR!" Princess Twilight, eye glowing red, surrounded by swirling dark magic fuel by rage. "LET ME AT THEM! WHERE ARE THEY?!" She spoke in a demonic voice. "'Magic is better off gone?!' What kinda of hate filled propaganda is that?! Is Cozy Glow behind this?!"

--

"MY PRINCESS CALLS! I MUST JOIN HER!" Snarled straight haired Pinkamena, kicking her legs, tied up in a chair. Normally this wouldn't have stopped her, but Maud Pie was standing guard.

Session 94.10 Grogar-the-oneser

"You want me to WHAT!?!" Glowworm screamed

"Keep your voice down idiots!" Chrysalis hissed as both Tirek and Cozy Glow glared at him

"But you want me to hide Grogar bell, Grogar, the father of monsters! The guy who can and will kill us in horrifying and brutal ways if he realizes were hiding this from him!" Glowworm gulped.

"Glowworm, you forgetting one really important thing."

"W-what that?"

"I AM YOUR QUEEN AND YOU WILL DO AS I SAY OR SO HELP ME I WILL FORCE FEED YOU TO TIREK AS A PROTEIN POWDER!!" Queen Chrysalis snapped.

Session 94.11 Mtangalion

Being a substitute Oubliette Master for Ponyville's unofficial flock of griffons could be interesting, to say the least.

Gilda clapped her claws together. "Okay! We're ready to move on." She noticed Spike stretching in his seat, and putting a thick paperback novel away. "Huh, you're still here? And awake?"

Spike looked up at her. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, we did just spend half an hour dividing up the loot, " said Gallus, looking a bit guilty.

Spike grinned. "Oh, I totally get that. Hoards are important, after all! There's nothing quite so satisfying as having your super-important stuff sorted and secure with everything in the proper place, right?"

Gilda blinked slowly, then nodded, grinning. "You're a good kid, scales."

So the mighty griffon heroes adventured onward, and another half hour later, Spike was reading the description of a boss encounter from the adventure module. "The demonic beast roars and stamps its paws, shaking the very earth! It must be at least a hundred feet tall! Alicorn Prince Luster gulps and says, 'Prepare yourselves, friends! We must fight as one, or face certain doom!'"

Gallus snorted. "You mean, all of us, ganging up on one monster? That's no fun."

Spike stared at them. "But this monster really is... I mean... Prince Luster says, 'Don't underestimate it! The Terrornax is the most fearsome monster in the world!"

Gabby yawned and shrugged her wings. "Let's rock-paper-scissors to see which of us fights it."

"Sounds good to me!" said Gilda, cracking her knuckles.

Spike facepalmed. "You know this isn't Dragon Egg, right? Did a griffon write Dragon Egg? Cause, that would make so much sense right now."

Session 94.12 Unown3

Drinking a juice box, Button Mash looked up to see a time portal open the sky, and down came a black pegasus stallion with a silver mane, and a 'character sheet' cutie mark. On his forehead was a scar in the name of a natural 1 on a 20 sided dice.

"BUTTON MASH!" He took a glowing red laser sword with one of his wings. "I have to come to destroy you before you can ever become the Prince of Gaming, and burning this mark of shame upon my forehead for calling the alignment system in Ogres and Oubliettes stupid!"

Button Mash said, "Well... this isn't how I expected my afternoon to be."

Session 94.13 Mtangalion

Button Mash took a confident stance, adjusting his propeller beanie. "Now's my chance to try out that new Discord favor... Activate game console!" A floating electric-blue window with scrolling text materialized. "Okay! I cast Libra, and..." Button gasped. "Level 47?!" He clapped his forehooves to the sides of his head. "I'm only level 20! Hey Discord! I think I'm gonna need another favor!"

In the fashion of a classic Last Fantasy summon, time seemed to stand still, as a tidal wave swept into Ponyville out of nowhere, carrying Smolder the colossal sea serpent, who dramatically spat out a clean and dry Discord before quickly swimming away again and taking all the water with her.

Discord brushed a bit of lint from his shoulder. "Normally, I enjoy watching time travelers take an axe to the status quo, but threatening little colts? That is just not done, sir!"

The black pegasus didn't flinch. "Fortunately, I came prepared..." He whipped his cloak aside and held something up. "...with this Anti-Chaos Amulet!"

Discord stopped advancing and flinched, to the sound of a comedic car crash. Then he looked at the Fourth Wall and said "Ever have one of those days when you're sure you must have woken up in the wrong fic?"

But just then, Button's game console chimed. 'Sir McBiggun and Cheer Princess have joined the party!' Button blinked. "Huh?"

And just like that, two adult ponies came galloping over, standing protectively on Button's left and right.

"What do you think you're doing, threatening one of my students?" demanded Miss Cheerilee. "You'd better have a good explanation."

"Eeyup!" growled Big Mac.

Session 94.14 Mtangalion

(Spoilers for "Sweet and Smoky")

Headmare Twilight cleared her throat. "I know you're all wondering why I called you here, so I'll get right to the point."

Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash shared curious looks.

Smolder clasped her claws behind her head and stretched, seeming indifferent. Garble reached down and nudged Spike, grinning wickedly. "Uh oh! They must have found out about that thing you did."

"What?!" yelped Spike. "What did I do? Wait, I haven't done anything! Quit messing with me, Garble!"

Garble guffawed. "But messing with you is so much fun!"

"Ahem!" Twilight used her magic to lift up a heavy chunk of stone, carved up with claw-marks on one side. "This message from Dragon Lord Ember appeared in my office via dragonfire... and crushed one of my favorite paperweights in the process... but never mind that now."

Spike flew over and started reading the dragon runes. "Huh... 'As Dragon Lord, I command all dragons at the school to return to the Dragon Lands at once to address an urgent matter. Smolder, make sure your brother comes too instead of making an excuse to slack off.'" Spike blinked. "Wait... brother?!"

Twilight picked up reading where Spike had left off. "'He's temporarily unbanished for this occasion. Also, if you have any other creatures who are experts in dragon eggs and hatchlings, please ask them to come as well.'"

Fluttershy gasped. "Did you say hatchlings?! Cute, adorable baby dragon hatchlings?! I'd be happy to go!"

Spike landed in front of Smolder. "Whoa! Your brother lives here in Equestria, Smolder?! Why didn't you ever mention him? Huh, I bet he's a pretty cool guy!" He flew up and elbowed Garble. "Not like certain other dragons around here!"

Smolder arched an eyeridge. "Heh, good one, Spike." She smirked at Garble. "Better pack your bongo drums, Gar-Gar. You're going home!"

Garble gnashed his teeth, jabbing a claw towards her. "I swear, sis, if you call me Gar-Gar one more time, I'm gonna start calling you Wet Blanket!"

"Uh, guys?" asked Spike uncertainly. "Am I missing something here?"

Smolder blinked. "Oh, you didn't know," she said. "Garble's my brother." As if this fact was no more interesting than the price of apples in Appleloosa.

Spike's jaw dropped, but nothing coherent came out. "Wha... Buh..."

"Ooh, somecreature had a secret sibling," crowed Rainbow. "That totally never happens around here more often than a bad O&O plotline."

Twilight frowned. "Rainbow, my brother wasn't a secret! Queen Chrysalis erased my memories of Shining so I wouldn't spoil her plans. That's my story and I'm sticking to it."

Fluttershy sighed. "I wish I could forget that I have a brother."

"Me too," said Rainbow Dash. She paused, realizing how that sounded. "I mean, I wish I could forget that Fluttershy has a brother! I definitely don't have a secret older sister who's an awesome Alicorn version of myself who goes with adventures with me in a fanfic I wrote! ... I'll just shut up now."

"How... since when..." sputtered Spike. He flew right up in Smolder and Garble's faces. "All these months, all those card games and O&O sessions and hanging out together, and now I'm supposed to believe that you were brother and sister the whole time!? And neither of you EVER bothered to mention that fact? Seriously?!" He chuckled. "Next you'll tell me that Smolder likes wearing cute dresses, and Garble's a poet!"

Both of the older young dragons cringed. "Yeah..." said Garble.

Smolder coughed. "About that..."

Sometime later, in the Friendship Academy's theater, a magical spotlight snapped on, illuminating the stage. Garble played bongos, wearing a striped sweater and a beret, while Smolder wore a dress and spoke softly into a microphone. "Goodbye dignity... Farewell to... self respect. Hello, friends... Can you dig it?"

The students with opposable digits snapped them in politely enthusiastic applause.

Session 94.15 Mtangalion

Princess Twilight Sparkle skimmed through the reports from the recent Dragon Lands mission, eyes widening. "Um, Fluttershy? I don’t want to alarm you, but I’m surprised you didn’t get your head bitten off for touching dragon eggs without permission. What happened to all the parents of those eggs? Wasn’t anydragon keeping watch?"

Fluttershy shook her head hesitantly. "Well… no! Actually, I didn’t see all that many dragons who even looked old enough to be parents, and I didn’t see any of those scary giant elders at all!"

"But, we saw lots of elders at the dragon migration," Spike pointed out. "Where did they all go?"

Smolder rolled her eyes, arms folded across her chest. "Ugh, tell me about it. I bet mom could have refilled the lava pool in two minutes with one paw." She sighed, breathing a plume of ash. "I bet they were off playing O&O again..."

Far beyond the skies of Equus, two teleport flashes marked the arrival of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, wearing golden war armor instead of royal regalia. "My apologies for our lateness," said Celestia.

The immense Queen Supia leaned closer, giving her a booming raspy chuckle. "Don’t worry, Celestia-ojosan, Luna-ojosan. You haven’t missed anything yet."

Luna gave the changeling queen an apologetic bow-between-equals, for all that she could have perched on Supia’s muzzle. "We had hoped to leave Twilight in charge of everything at home by now, but…"

"But we all must play the hands or claws we’re dealt," purred Gerulf. The massive griffon narrowed his eyes, peering into the Void beyond. "They are coming. Grand Griffons, ready your arms!" A full flight of grand griffons flew into formation, drawing bows as tall as a castle tower each… enough demi-godly might to lay waste to entire mortal kingdoms… and just a part of the gathered Titan Defense Force.

"Steady, steady!" shouted Geri, the Jotuun deer. "Do not charge into battle too soon!"

"I’ll charge when I damned well please!" retorted Seismos the armored earth pony titan, but he muttered and held his ground, watching their enemy finally arrive.

Former Dragon Lord Torch grinned savagely, nodding to the rest of his horde of dragon elders. "This is where the fun begins!"

A biomechanical horror the size of an entire planet warped into the space before them. "WE ARE THE EARTHBOUND KINGS. YOU WILL JOIN WITH US, OR YOU WILL DIE. OUR WARFLEET BLOTS OUT THE STARS THEMSELVES."

Queen Supia raised a jagged changeling glaive. "Then we will fight in the dark! Attack!!"

The enemy ships swarmed towards them. While Seismos snarled and started destroying capital ships with one hoof-punch each, and Cawr’s brothers controlled the weather of space itself to melt foes with solar flares, Torch turned to his dragon horde.

"Well, you puny little lizards?" boomed Torch. "Do you want to defend your lands and gold, your mates and eggs, your very world… or don’t you?" With one voice, the dragons answered "WE... WANT!!"

Gerulf whistled, watching the greedy dragon elders pounce on an Earthbound King that he’d just crippled by filling it full of arrows, rending it to pieces. "We have *got* to invite those fellows to the next Taurus Peninsula Grand Tournament…"

Two days later, Torch lay sprawled in his lair, sporting some memorable new scratches in his ancient horns and scales. "Don’t bother me with such things, Ember," he grumbled. "I’ve had an exhausting week, and you’re Dragon Lord now. I’m sure you can handle everything."

Ember flew up and lightly bopped her father’s nose with the Ruby Scepter. "Exhausting?" she said with a smirk. "Sure, dad. Whatever you say."

Session 94.16 Unown3

Alien Ants shouted dropping their guns and holding up their hands, "We surrender!"

Scootaloo in a space suit and big laser gun shrugged and said, "Yeah, you see, I can't progress through the level until I kill all the enemies... so yeah, sorry."

The entire room was then covered in green goo. Scootaloo strafed three the door, heroic science fiction music playing.

(Parody of Jet Force Gemini.)

Session 94.17 Ardashir

Spike was playing online with Smolder and Garble on World of Horsecraft in an in-game quest that revolved around saving dragon eggs from being snatched by Tirek's villains and the hatchlings turned into vicious monsters.

In the game a few renegade dragons were helping the villains, and to the shock of the three:

"Huh?" Garble couldn't believe what he was seeing. "Wait, an albino dragon, a fat brown dragon, and a skinny purple one with long blonde hair?" Garble rubbed his eyes. "Yeesh, does everything that happens in this world end up in this game?"

"How do dragons even have hair anyway?" Spike muttered.

"Hey, Gar-Gar," Smolder scratched her scaly chin. "What happened with Fizzle, Clump, and Fume, anyway? I mean, with their almost wiping out a whole generation of dragons?"

"Beats me." Garble shrugged. "Ember said she was gonna handle it. Said she'd think of something to keep them out of trouble for a while. Not like I gotta worry about it."

Outside the Friendship Palace:

"So," Twilight said coldly, reading the message Ember sent as the three cowering dragons stood before her. "I'm supposed to keep an eye on your three, just like with Garble." She turned and yelled, "Sludge! You just got three assistants! Come out here and tell them what their work is!" As Sludge lead the three teen dragons off, swaggering with the knowledge that now he was the boss, Twilight shook her head in disgust. "Ugh, Ember! What's the matter with her? Sending her failures and criminals to Equestria instead of keeping an eye on them herself. Like ponies would do that!"

And on the other side of the Mirror Gate:

"Yeesh, Adagio, what's wrong?" Aria looked up from the mop bucket she and her sister were permitted to use for cleaning the floors at CrystalSoft.

"Nothing," Adagio said. "Just felt like someone stuck me with a pin and I remembered the ponies banishing us here." She snarled, "And I'll still get even with them one day!"

Session 94.18 Mtangalion

(Not intended to be an allegory of any real life events, just an exploration of fictional ones.)

Officially, Princess Twilight Sparkle had designated the large third-story chamber with the sweeping view of Ponyville as her sitting room. In practice, this meant that it had more small tables and comfy chairs than other rooms in the castle… and just as many shelves full of books.

While Twilight enjoyed a calm, relaxing sip of tea, Rainbow Dash had mostly forgotten her own cup in favor of scarfing up the scones, sitting there on the edge of her seat. "Come on, Twi, don’t keep me in suspense! How did Big Mac and Cheerilee save Button Mash from that crazy future pony?!"

Twilight set her teacup down. "Well, you see…"

A loud rubbery squeaking sound interrupted them. Both ponies looked towards the large crystal windows, and were surprised to see a white falcon/snow leopard griffon hovering outside, wiping soapy water off one window pane, then taking his squeegee to the next.

"Um…" Dash stared. "There’s a griffon out there. Cleaning."

Princess Twilight shrugged. "Yes?"

The griffon noticed them and waved, giving the princess an enthusiastic claws-up before flying away to clean the next room’s windows.

"Making things less messy. Instead of, you know, making a bigger mess."

"That’s a little species-ist, Rainbow," said Twilight. "But yeah, it does seem strange."

Smart Cookie the Thirty-Third, Twilight’s recently-hired Chief Strategist and manager of much of the nonsense that came with being a Princess of Equestria, glanced up from his ledgers. "Why yes, Princess. I did hire several griffons into the castle staff. I hope I haven’t overstepped my bounds."

"Not at all," said Princess Twilight brightly. "If I have to employ anyone at all, then of course, you should consider any creature who’s honest and capable."

Outside the new guard barracks behind the Friendship Castle, one of the largest griffons that Twilight and Rainbow had ever seen (not counting certain Grand Griffons and growth spells) was absolutely savaging a training dummy, leaping and hovering on outstretched wings, then diving in to slash with twin claw-blades. If this had been one of Button Mash’s video games, the combo meter definitely would have been up in the double digits.

Three other griffons in Twilight Guard armor were watching with rapt attention, and several more guards had come to watch as well… two pegasi, a hippogriff, and… a diamond dog?

Guard Captain Equal Libram glanced away from the gray-feathered griffon warrior. "Gabriel? You don’t need to worry about him carelessly hurting anycreature, Princess. I’ve seen him be as gentle as a kitten when some foals were here on the castle tour." The unicorn frowned, then sighed. "Unfortunately, we’re going to need his skills when we go after that gang of griffon bandits who’ve moved into the Everfree."

Rainbow Dash perked up. "Bandits, huh?" She grinned, smacking her forehooves together. "You need any help with that? I pummeled, like, two dozen changelings once. Back when they were all bad guys, I mean."

The captain laughed. "Aren’t you busy enough saving Equestria every month, Miss Dash? Leave the rest of us something to do."

"Of course it’s all a conspiracy!" declared Rose.

Daisy nodded fervently. "Griffons couldn’t defeat ponies in war, so now they’re moving here and taking over Equestria from within!"

"Would you like a pamphlet, princess?" asked Lily Valley.

"Uh… sure!" said Princess Twilight, taking it in her magic while backing away slowly.

"So, what’s your take on all this?" asked Princess Twilight, while Rainbow Dash snatched another free mint from the bowl on the mayor’s desk.

The Mayor of Ponyville adjusted her glasses while she collected her thoughts. "Well… for a long time, it’s been the official policy of Equestria that anycreature is welcome to live here, so long as they support themselves, pay their taxes, and obey our laws. We never actually had enough newcomers to rile anypony up… until a bunch of griffons heard about friendship and opportunity, and decided to go flying off in all directions instead of cleaning up their mess at home. How did that all start… a certain Friendship Mission, wasn’t it?"

Rainbow chuckled, sinking a little lower in her seat. "Whoopsie?"

Mayor Mare waved a hoof. "No, no… it’s fine. This has all been a net positive, really it has! It’s just overwhelming at times. Why, we’re going to have a whole neighborhood of traditional griffon houses soon, and a greatly expanded fishery and *two* more meat restaurants. What we really need, though, is for Griffonstone to get a proper king or queen again, someone who can rebuild their nation, before the entire nation tries to move in with us!"

Twilight grinned. "Actually, I’ve been doing some research, and I do have someone in mind. She just doesn’t know it yet."

In the deepest depths of the Abysmal Abyss, a griffon hen dug through deep river muck, grousing under her breath… until her claws scraped something solid. "Aha!" She dug her find out of the mud, then splashed it in the river until she saw the golden gleam of the Idol of Boreas. "I knew it was around here somewhere!"

Gilda tore her goggles off and held her prize up to the sun… but she quickly frowned. "Eh, now that I see it up close, it looks like a stupid bowling trophy or something. Maybe Gerold can use it for a paperweight." Unexpectedly, she shivered and clutched the Idol to her chest, feathers and fur fluffing. "Whoa. Felt like something walked over my grave..."

Session 94.19 Ardashir

(Note: In honor of Chrysalis Appreciation Day)

"And then I backstab Silverstream's character!" Ocellus laughed at the look on the shocked hippogriff's face. The rest of her friends sitting around the table stared at her in disbelief as she crowed. "Hah! You don't have any more clones, do you?"

"Well, no, but..." Silverstream slumped in her chair and looked at the 'Paranoia' game book. "I don't think I like this one."

"That's just because you're losing," Ocellus sneered. She cast a superior look around the table. "Come on, roll the dice, let's get back to the game."

"Uh, we can't." Gallus sat up and stabbed a claw at her. "You killed all our clones! We had a mission to do."

"We did it." Ocellus said in her usual cheery tone. She giggled and clapped her claws. "We got the information on all the traitors and mutants and Dirty Commies in the hive -- I mean Alpha Complex..."

"An' all OUR names were on it," Smolder huffed. Arms folded over her chest, she said, "Yeesh, is everybody in this place a traitor? What kinda dumbbell computer runs a mess like that?"

She winced as Ocellus leered at her. "You just questioned the wisdom of Friend Computer!"

Smolder jumped to her feet, eyes filled with fury. "Ya already fried my last clone when I asked about that traitor list we were sent ta find, because there ain't no traitors in Alpha Complex, remember?"

"Yona wonders what is wrong with friend Ocellus," the yak girl sounded suspicious. She pounded the table with one hoof. "Ocellus usually nice bug-pony, but when play this game she becomes a mean backstabber. Yona does not like seeing Yona's friend act this way."

"You're just mad because I got rid of your last clone by having her test that experimental plasma cannon."

"But plas-whatever cannon not even work!" Yona yelled. "And when Yona say it piece of junk, you blast Yona-5 and yell, 'Only a mutant traitor would question the scientists of Alpha Complex!'"

"Speaking as Friend Computer -- I mean, speaking as your real-life friend, we're wondering about you, Ocellus," Sandbar got up from his place at the head of the table. Stepping around the GM screen, he said, "You're acting like Chrys --" He broke off as Ocellus rose up on buzzing wings.

"Go on, finish it!" Ocellus snarled a buggy snarl. "You were gonna say 'I act just like Chrysalis' - and maybe I AM her!" She looked around at her friends. The hurt looks on their faces changed to deeply suspicious ones. "Ugh! We used to play this game all the time in the Hive when Chrysalis ruled us. It was one of the few ways to get her favor without hurting somepony I used to beat Princess Imago all the time, Queen Chrysalis would say I was smarter than her own nymphs." She sank back in her chair. "Look, I am not Chrysalis."

"Yes -- you -- are!"

Everyone at the table gaped as the door slammed open. Crawling through was a beaten and bruised Ocellus. She pointed at the other 'her' and gasped out, "She knocked me unconscious, said she was gonna replace every one of you with Black Hive Changelings, but she wanted to, to humiliate you first..." She slumped unconscious to the floor.

With a chittering growl Ocellus flew from her chair and grabbed 'herself'. "Hah! Lousy trick, Chrysalis! My friends will never believe..." She looked up just in time to go down under the rest of the Student Six.

"GET HER!"

As the battle raged, the 'Ocellus' on the floor smiled, slipped out into the hallway, and turned into a completely different pony. "Heh, who ever thought that my permitting those nymphs to play that wonderful game would help like this? Now to take care of that old goat's task," she spat, "and get home to rejoice over getting one of those tootie-fruitie traitors beaten up."

That happy thought in mind, Chrysalis sauntered down the hallway as the sounds of Changeling shrieks came from behind the shut door behind her.

Session 94.20 Mtangalion

Sweetie Belle pushed more magic into the dark orb floating above her horn, sticking her tongue out. "Alisa, can I ask a question? You use dark magic all the time, so why is your lair so... well, cozy?"

The gray and white-furred diamond wolf cackled. "What, just because Alisa's dark mage, she should sit on stone floor instead of comfy sofa?" She stretched out, joints creaking a bit, and wagged her tail with amusement. She gestured to the many glow gems which lit up the chilly cavern beneath Icehome like a scene from a Hearth's Warming play. "Should she sit in spooky dark and squint to read her books? Hah!" She bared just a hint of her sharp fangs. "Now focus, pay attention to lesson! Finish spell."

Sweetie flinched, resisting the urge to adjust her scarf like Rarity would have. "R-right!" She furrowed her brow... and instead of fizzling, the orb flew off her horn and popped, becoming another Sweetie Belle!

"Yes! I did it!" shouted both Sweetie Belles, in exactly the same voice and tone.

Then the new Sweetie blinked, frowning. "Aw, come on... I'm the copy? Why am I the copy?"

"Not copy," growled Alisa. "Shadow clone. See?" She flicked the clone's ear with a claw, and the startled clone vanished in a puff of dark smoke.

At the same time, the original Sweetie gasped. "Whoa, it really works! I remember everything that the other me saw and thought. Wow, just think of all the cool things I can do with this spell!"

"Sweetie could," muttered Alisa. "But ten years too soon to expect her to do anything smart with it, yes." Alisa nodded to herself sagely. "She'll just use magic for silly games, like other ponies."

"What?! No I won't..."

Sweetie #2 grabbed the twenty-sided die and shook it in her hoof, somehow. "My turn! I'm rolling for initiative!"

Sweetie #3 groaned. "Would you just hold your horses? I'm still negotiating with the goblin chieftain!"

And the original Sweetie Belle tapped a hoof impatiently. "Hey, who's in charge of this party, anyway? Hoof me those dice so I can roll my charisma check."

Button Mash stared from behind the OM's screen. He'd started out enraptured by the thought of going on a "date" with three Sweetie Belles at once, but now... "Um, is this really okay? Aren't you going to get a huge headache when you dismiss the clones and get their memories all at once?"

"It's okay," said Sweetie Belle, charging her horn again. "I'll make Sweetie #4 to run to Zecora's for a headache cure!"

Session 94.21 Unown3 SPOILERS FOR 'THE LAST CRUSADE' episode!

Scootaloo jumped and fluttered her wings. "Gee Rainbow Dash! Thanks for finally legally adopting me!"

Rainbow ruffled her mane. "No problem kiddo! It was a long time coming! We've been family all this time! Now it's just official!"

"Not to rain on this beautiful moment darling," Rarity said. "But aren't you worried that if Scootaloo's biological family finds her, this will result in a conflict with no heroes or villains and no clean simple solution?"

"Aw come on! What are the chances of that happening now? They've had over NINE YEARS, what are the chances of them showing up now?"

Pinkie Pie said, "Though it would be an interesting problem with us having to deal with something we can't just friendship away. I mean, if that did happen, I'm sure lots of ponies would want to know what actually happens, and not just be happy the long journey is over and utterly ignore such a tantalizing thread that had been built up for so long, leaving us feeling empty a little that something like that failed to inspire anypony!"

Lyra shivered.

Bon Bon gave the love of her life a hug. "Everything okay, dear?"

"I felt like some great cosmic force scanned us, taken what had occurred with us naturally, then created artificial copies."

"Whatever it is, I know you can handle it!" Tootsie Flute hugged Lyra too.

"Thanks sweetie," Lyra patted little Tootsie Flute on the head, happy for the love their adopted daughter showed.

Twilight asked, "Pinkie Pie are you okay?"

Pinkie Pie said, "I sense a we're one universe off from having a neat nice clean-cut solution that now won't function in our world... that I might have already seen the normal on Discord's spirit-tube in Chaosville, like where Garble was never banished and never attended the friendship school. And seeing that world leaves you feeling MORE alienated than you already did, and creates a sense of the creators selling out on something and creating something artificially that before was done organically and leaves this sense of 'hoof of author' and damages your suspension of disbelief, and what should be a shocking emotional event with no good ponies or bad ponies instead feels like it was turned into a vessel for social activism, and actually ironically contradicts a previous relatively recent episode these same ponies were involved in, but I'm saying which one because that was be spoilers."

"Uh.... ooooookaaaaay... So uh, Scootaloo is bringing Rainbow Dash to parents day at school today?"

"Yeah, that's gonna get awkward real fast for all involved."

"Huh? Why?"

"Oh, you'll see soon enough."

Session 94.22 Mtangalion

"Hi, Princess Twilight!" shouted Sweetie Belle as she galloped past. "Bye, Princess Twilight! Sorry I can’t talk, I’m on a mission!"

Twilight blinked, then looked over her shoulder, but there was no sign of the other Crusaders, or of any angry creatures chasing after them. "Well, that was odd." She watched Sweetie race into the Carousel Boutique. "Wait, she was carrying one of Zecora’s saddlebags. Oh no… is somepony hurt?"

Not wasting any more time, Twilight teleported straight into the Boutique, and froze… There was Sweetie Belle, opening the saddlebag… and Sweetie Belle sitting at the table… and going through the fridge… and sweet-talking a blushing Button Mash.

Twilight’s expression curled into a disturbing grin, and her mane grew frazzled. "Either some unreformed changelings or sneaky wolves are getting really sloppy about their infiltration, or it’s…" Echoes of ‘Fun, fun, fun!’ romped through Twilight’s head. "Clones!" She cackled, charging her horn.

Too late, the Sweetie next to Button looked up. "Wait, no!"

Twilight fired four beams in rapid succession, teleporting across the room after each. The clones went pop, pop, pop! The real Sweetie said "Ouch," having only felt a sharp poke on one leg, but then she gasped, freezing up.

"Sweetie!" yelled Button. The colt glared at Twilight, then shook Sweetie. "Are you okay?"

Sweetie blinked several times. "Uh… wow. This feedback from integrating four sets of memories all at once really isn’t that bad. Yeah… I can totally handle this!" Then her eyes rolled up, and she fell over like a sack of potatoes.

Twilight’s jaw dropped. "Er… oops?"

A little later, Sweetie lay sprawled on the sofa, groaning, with a cloth covering her eyes. "There, there," said Rarity soothingly, bringing a glass of some kind of mixed juice from the kitchen. "Big sister’s here, and she’s made some of mother’s hangover cure for you. Hmph, didn’t think you’d need *this* for a few more years yet." She shot Twilight another dirty look. "Hopefully, we’ve all learned a valuable lesson."

Rarity sighed and glared at Alisa. "I know we’re trusting you to educate Sweetie in her unusual magical affinity, but why that spell?"

Alisa dipped her ears a bit, but she didn’t look away from Rarity’s glare. "Should Alisa teach Sweetie to cast mind corruption instead? Soul binding? Greatest fear spell? Dark magic like that’s not safe, oh no, especially not for pups and fillies! If there’s painful lessons to learn, better she’s learning them with Shadow Clone!"

Then Alisa fixed Twilight with an unamused, predatory stare. "You interfered with Alisa’s student, put her in danger. There will be punishment."

Twilight blinked. "But, I’m a Princess. I have a school to run. You can’t just…"

A small wolf, dark gray with purple shades in her coat, bowed to a customer from behind the counter of Alisa’s jewelry shop in Icehome. "Thank you for purchase! Are you needing a receipt?"

The zipper of Twilight’s wolf costume gave her a mild shock, making the "wolf" yelp and whine. "Speak properly, ‘Roksana!’" Alisa whispered smugly.

"S-sorry, mistress!" said Twilight, glad that the costume covered her furious blushing. "Are you needing receipt?"

Iosef grinned and wagged his tail. "Roksana’s really cute. Maybe she’s helping me with other things later?"

Alisa waggled a claw. "Oh, sorry, she’s temporary employee. She won’t be here to go on dates, can’t do it… unless she really wants to!"

Twilight gritted her teeth. "Just four more hours of ‘punishment’ to go… I can do this…"

Session 94.23 Kendell2

Twilight decided that since she'd built her castle (which turned out to be a very good idea given it fended off the Raid), she'd need another build. She did have her villager 'apartment building' to finish, but it was more for practicality than to look cool.

So she decided to build an underwater base. After all, the new Conduit introduced made it possible to make one without dealing with removing all the water and she'd lucked out and gotten a Wandering Trader spawning nearby with the Nautilus Shells on sell and got most of them and just lucked out fishing, so she only needed to hunt down a couple Drowned with them. And she had a bunch of treasure maps that gave her a lot of exploration options.

Soon enough she had the proper materials to make the Conduit...except for the Prismarine to actually power it, and the only real way to get that was from the Ocean Monument.

She wanted to just dive down into a ravine where one of the pillars coming down from the Monument into it...but found to her frustration the Elder's mining fatigue status went down far enough to effect her down there. "Looks like I'll have to go in..." she muttered. She had water breathing potions left, so she simply went in to hunt them and killed two fairly easily...but couldn't find the last one and drowned when she ran out of potions.

So she went back with new potions...and still couldn't find it until she was down to her last potion...

"...Wait..." she said, floating at the entrance...and looked up to find a passage way up to where the Elder Guardian was.

Twilight paused the game, walked over, and slammed her head against the wall.

OOC: True story.

Session 94.24 Mtangalion

Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo barged into Twilight’s Sitting Room, then slammed the door shut, gasping for breath. "This is a complete disaster!" moaned Rainbow.

Applejack sat up in her seat, distracted from the O&O game that Rainbow and Scootaloo had interrupted. "Uh, RD? What’s with the battle armor straight out of Pegasopolis?"

Rainbow zoomed over to the window and looked down, armor rattling. "Custody battle."

Applejack looked to Princess Twilight, who just shrugged. "Ah think y'all need a refresher course on what that actually means sugarcube." Curious, she went to the window to see what Dash was so worried about. "A custody battle ain’t a real… oh."

Down on the lawn in front of the castle, Mane Allgood was also wearing traditional pegasus battle gear, training with very real and very sharp wingblades. They whistled as she spun and stabbed with them, cutting the air itself. Beside her, Snap Shutter snorted and pounded the ground with his hooves, looking like a stallion who was ready to go hoof to hoof with an angry rhino, gear or no gear.

Twilight winced, joining them at the window. "How did this happen?"

Rainbow sighed. "Okay, so… the judge gave me custody of Scootaloo, because her aunts left her living alone in an empty house in Ponyville for years. Nopony around Ponyville even knew them, because they hardly ever visited!"

Scootaloo cringed. "I thought it was normal…"

Rainbow nodded. "And then when the ink was barely dry on the adoption papers, Scootaloo’s real parents show up for a surprise visit!"

"Can’t everypony just get along somehow?" fretted Scootaloo. "I mean, I barely even remember my real parents… but I’d like to know them. I just don’t want anypony getting hurt!"

Rainbow rested a hoof on her shoulder. "I know, squirt… if only we could just turn into dragons or something, and disappear!"

Someone pushed a chair back from the table and stood, and Rainbow suddenly realized who else had been playing O&O. Garble, and… Dragon Lord Ember?! "Well, that's a lot to ask," grumbled Ember, "but I suppose you’re a big enough hero and friend of dragons to have earned it." She grabbed the Bloodstone Scepter leaning against the table. "Here you go."

"Wait!" shouted Dash. "I was just... Ah!" Ruby light blasted Scootaloo and Rainbow. Equine bodies stretched and grew, rising into bipedal stances. Fur and manes shed and stone-hard scales and horns and claws grew… and just like that, Rainbow Dash was a sapphire teenage dragoness....

And Scootaloo was an amber baby dragoness, whose leathery wings began to twitch and flap, lifting her into the air! "D-Dash! My wings! They work!"

"Y’all realize, this is just gonna make a bigger mess!" shouted AJ… after Dash, who had already grabbed Scootaloo and swooped out the window.

The door flew open and slammed shut a second time. "You gotta dragon me up and send me to the Dragon Lands too!" panted Gilda. "Everywhere I go, griffons keep agreeing with whatever I say! They want me to be the new feathering queen of Griffonstone! They won’t leave me alone, and neither will this stupid hunk of gold!" Gilda threw the Idol of Boreas out the window, then stalked over to the table, and did a double-take and screeched when she noticed that the Idol was now sitting right there on the table beside her, somehow.

Ember shrugged and aimed the scepter, but the ruby went dark. "Huh. Looks like you can’t be a child of Tiamat even if I wanted to do that, griffon. You belong to a different god."

"Like fudge I do! If Boreas wants me to be queen, he’ll have to catch me first!" Gilda grabbed the Idol and flew out the window herself.

Dragon Lord Ember turned to Garble. "I suppose you want to return to the Dragon Lands as well." She waved the scepter. "There. Go, stay, do whatever you want. You've earned it."

Garble fidgeted in his seat. "Um, thanks but… I've actually decided that I kind of like it here. Being ambassador, hanging with Spike, going to school and stuff…"

Ember blinked. "But, living in a pony city! Don’t tell you actually *like* ponies now."

Garble waved his claws. "Nah, it’s not that!" Grinning, he leaned towards Ember and whispered, "Indoor plumbing."

Session 94.25 Ardashir

"At least nopony else will know about this," Twilight/Roksana grumbled. The bell on the store door rang as she looked up from the cash register. "This is already humiliating enough -- ulp!"

"What's wrong, fuzzy?" Gallus said as he looked around the Icehome store. He examined some of the silver and sapphire jewelry displayed under glass at the front counter. "Yeesh, I know Professor Rarity said she was testing our ingenuity by sending us on a scavenger hunt," he tapped a claw on the glass. "But for this? I think she just wants us to do some of her shopping for her."

"Oh, Rarity would never do that -- Ow! I mean," Twilight rubbed along her zipper and quickly added as the Student Six looked at her in confusion, "Pony Mistress Rarity not use students that way, Pony Princess Twilight not let her! Roksana hear it from Mistress Rarity! Heh!"

"Well, she totally did," Sandbar grumbled, looking at the list he held. "Made us go all the way to Canterlot first, then her shop in Manehattan, and then Icehome." He shrugged and revealed a heavy pouch filled with bits. "At least she and Counselor Starlight let us use the school funds for it."

"She did WHAT?!? Ow!" She rubbed the zipper along her neck again. "Er, Roksana wants to be knowing just how good a piece of jewelry students will be needing."

Ocellus pointed to one of the most expensive pieces in the store, a silver necklace inlaid with multiple sapphires. Prince Blueblood would have been proud to wear it. "Professor Rarity said to get the best. That looks like it."

"Roksana will be getting it, and it costs," Twilight choked in fury at the price tag, "HOW MUCH? Do Rarity and Starlight think my school is made of bits -- OWW!" She shivered as little bolts of lightning played along her costume's fur.

"Yona wants know if anyone else thinks ice dog clerk is acting funny," Yona muttered, eyeing 'Roksana' sidelong.

"I don't see anything wrong." Smolder's drool stained the glass as she looked at the gemstones. They sparkled with icy beauty. Her eyes darkened and she began growing as she eyed the gems. "Smolder hungry! Smolder WANT!"

Silverstream snatched up a water-filled bucket in a nearby corner under a sign reading 'In Case Of Greed-Growth Dragon, Thieving Griffon, or Still-Evil Changeling' and hurriedly dumped it over her. Smolder shuddered and returned to normal size. "Uh, yeah. Thanks. I needed that." She shook herself. "I guess."

"It's okay," Gallus said as he handed over a pile of bits that made Twilight choke under her wolf suit. Taking the sapphire and silver necklace, he said as they left. "Hey, remember what happened in Canterlot. Starlight told us to eave enough behind to rebuild that store. It should be paid back in a few years, and she said Twilight was one of the, what was it, 'bloodsucking nobility exploiters' so she can cover it..." Their voices faded into the distance.

And behind them Twilight-Roksana beat her head against the floor.

***

And back in Ponyville at the Friendship School, Starlight smirked as she sat back in her chair and thought about the joke she was playing on her mentor.

"That'll teach Twilight to go running off again and drop the school right in my lap without warning."

Session 94.26 Unown3

(Spoilers for last Saturday's episode.).

Having been put in charge of Canterlot while the Princesses took their vacation, the mane six were not having an ideal time of it. Ironically proving Twilight had been very right to panic at the idea of being thrusted into power with her friends, rather than being a worry wart as everypony had brushed her off as. But thankfully they'd managed to keep their heads above water thanks to some timely advice from Fancy Pants.

In Princess Celestia's room Princess Twilight Sparkle, feeling dismayed at breaking Celestia and Luna's mysterious artifact for moving the sun and moon that somehow didn't drain Twilight of all her magic as the myth said supposedly happened... leaned against a random wall... and heard a click, and it opened inward... Twilight stepped inside, and found a pile of cakes frozen in time (of course), and a large table showing all of Equus... with chess pieces all made in the forms of herself, her friends, their enemies, creatures Twilight didn't recognize, and several ponies having been put into a discard box. Twilight quickly closed the door and pretended she had seen nothing.

Session 94.27 sonicandmario826

Discord popped in, "If you thought that was weird you should see the other door."

Discord pressed a hidden button on another wall revealing a door that was labeled generation fi-"NOPE!!!", Twilight quickly teleported away.

Discord pouted, "Spoilsport."

Session 94.28 Ardashir

"And the wicked, nasty dragon falls at your hooves, slain!" Twilight said, sounding delighted. "Congratulations, ladies; you came up with a brilliant plan that time. Especially you, Fluttershy -- Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy was about to jump up and cheer along with her friends when she got a mental image. She remembered the adorable little baby dragons she'd cuddled and helped to hatch in the Dragonlands. The way they'd looked at her with those wide innocent eyes, her desire to bring them back home and raise them.

And in her mind's eye she saw herself, standing over their little hacked and spell-blasted bodies as they looked up at her and asked with their dying breath: "Mommy... Why..."

A moment later Applejack and Rarity were comforting the sobbing Fluttershy.

"Oh, you poor little darlings! I didn't mean it! It was just a game!" Fluttershy wept, rivers of tears streaming down her face as Rarity hugged her. "I'm a monster!"

"Ya know," Rainbow Dash said, scratching her scales, "Ever since I got my, ah, makeover courtesy of Ember these kind of things are starting to feel funny ta me too. Not that kind of funny, Pinkie."

"Uh, say, Dash, ain't ya supposed to have thet 'custody battle' soon?"

Dash nodded at Applejack. "Yeah, well, the lawyers are still hashing it out. Apparently since Scoot an' me got dragonified they're tryin' ta figure if Equestrian law still covers her. An nopony can find Ember ta ask her how dragons handle this." She looked back at the game book, with its cover of heroic ponies slaying savage, vicious, drooling dragons. "I wonder how the dragons are taking it."

"I just hope Big Brother's friends back in Canterlot aren't in more trouble," Twilight set the book away. "There are times when these games all seemed a lot simpler before we were making friends with everyone."

And of course in Canterlot:

"SO!" Ex-Dragon Lord Torch growled down at Gizmo and his two friends as they cowered in the palm of his claw. "YOU'RE THE PONY RACISTS WHO HATE DRAGONS, HUH?" He pointed at a billboard nearby advertising their latest game, 'Dragon Slayer'.

Gizmo gulped and looked at his friends. "I told you we should have stuck with using evil Changelings instead!"

Session 94.29 Grogar-the-oneser

"TURN THAT GOTHIC MUSIC DOWN!" Luna snapped in the royal canterlot voice

"YOU DON'T KNOW MY DARK SOUL!!" Celestia yelled across the room

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY YOU LIKE THAT GOTH STUFF, IT SO DREARY! AND THIS IS COMING FROM A MARE, WHOSE JOB IS LITERALLY RAISING THE MOON!" Luna yelled back.

"AT LEAST IT NOT EIGHTIES GARBAGE!" Celestia yelled back

"OH THAT IS IT!" Luna snapped "WE ARE TAKING CARE OF THIS, THE ONLY WAY POSSIBLE!!"

"Huh, was not expecting them to play tennis to see who gets to listen to there favorite music genre." A guard stated.

"It's alot less destructive than the alternative." Another guard stated.

Session 94.30 Mtangalion

Princess Twilight floated the dice across the table. "It’s your turn, Rarity. Um… Rarity? Are you okay?"

Rarity was leaning back and forth, oohing at the shifting colors of Rainbow’s faintly iridescent dragon scales. "Exquisite…"

Rainbow Dash grinned smugly and rose, striking a pose with claws on hips. "Why don’t you take a picture, Rares? It’ll last longer."

"That’s a brilliant idea," exclaimed Rarity, as if she had not just been shamelessly checking Rainbow out. "Although, now that I think of it... I’m a little surprised that you and Scootaloo are here in plain view, and not hiding out in the Dragon Lands."

Rainbow chuckled, demonstrating that scales could blush just as well as fur, somehow. "Yeah, that didn’t work out…"

"And they’ll never come looking for us here!" boasted Rainbow Dash, stretching out every muscle in her relaxing lava bath. "I mean, ferocious dragons, choking fumes, and deadly lava around every corner? Only ponies with nerves of steel could possibly…"

There was a thwip, following by a whistling sound, then a yelp from Scootaloo. "Hey!"

"G’day, love!" Mane Allgood set her wingbow aside and cheerfully started tying off the net that was somehow holding Scootaloo, despite the baby dragon grabbing the net and pulling, then slashing with her claws.

Dash sat bolt upright, lava splashing, just in time to see Snap Shutter shoving a boulder… which fell, trailing a rope connected to a pulley… which yanked another net out of the lava bath and hauled Rainbow into the air. "How the heck!?" Rainbow bit the net, and even tried breathing flame on it, to no avail.

"Magically coated tungsten-diamond fiber," Snap Shutter explained. "Never hunt dragons without it! Now, now, stop squirming, you lot!" He booped Rainbow’s snout, grinning darkly. "We wouldn’t want *you* to miss your court date."

Rainbow shrugged. "Yeah… probably for the best. I can’t do Wonderbolts shows when I’m in hiding."

Rarity gasped. "Oh my! You’ll need a new Wonderbolts uniform!" She whipped out a notepad and immediately began sketching.

Dash sighed, slumping. "*If* I’m in any shows. I can’t do a Rainboom like this… I just couldn’t go fast enough!"

"Well, you *are* a flying armored tank now," mused Spike.

"So what?" exclaimed Scootaloo, sitting next to Spike, and breathing a spout of flame in her excitement. "You just need some new tricks!"

Garble snorted, shaking his head. "That whole ‘custody’ thing sounds stupid. Whelps belong with whatever dragon gives enough of a crap to take care of them, right?"

Twilight cleared her throat loudly.

"Okay, okay, whatever creature! Happy now?"

Rainbow Dash scratched her head fins. "Would it be totally crazy to bring Garble to the hearing as a character witness?"

Garble flew over and stood toe to toe with Rainbow, only a little taller than her since her change. "Maybe I will… if you make it worth my while, ‘Crash!’ You still owe me a gorge board race, now that you’re not a weakling pony who’d burn up if she wiped out."

Rainbow grinned, jabbing Garble’s chest with a claw. "I can’t leave Ponyville right now, but if Starlight and Twilight can whip up a lava slide? You’re on!"

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?
What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 94.0 Unown3
Session 94.1 Unown3
Session 94.2 sonicandmario826
Session 94.3 Unown3
Session 94.4 Unown3
Session 94.5 Mtangalion
Session 94.6 Unown3
Session 94.7 Mtangalion (edited)
Session 94.8 Unown3
Session 94.9 Unown3
Session 94.10 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 94.11 Mtangalion
Session 94.12 Unown3
Session 94.13 Mtangalion
Session 94.14 Mtangalion (Spoilers for "Sweet and Smoky")
Session 94.15 Mtangalion
Session 94.16 Unown3
Session 94.17 Ardashir
Session 94.18 Mtangalion
Session 94.19 Ardashir
Session 94.20 Mtangalion
Session 94.21 Unown3 SPOILERS FOR 'THE LAST CRUSADE' episode!
Session 94.22 Mtangalion
Session 94.23 Kendell2
Session 94.24 Mtangalion
Session 94.25 Ardashir
Session 94.26 Unown3
Session 94.27 sonicandmario826
Session 94.28 Ardashir
Session 94.29 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 94.30 Mtangalion

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Art by AwkwardHulk and made for arkand.deviantart.com/

https://www.deviantart.com/awkwardhulk/art/MLP-DND-667394713

Session 95

Session 95.0 Ardashir

"Ugh, why don't you just find some way to compete here in Ponyville?" Twilight pointed out the window. "We have games here in town, you know." As she spoke Sludge swaggered into the room, leading Fizzle, Fume, and Klump. The latter three had brooms and mops and wore hats that read 'janitor'.

"Hey, Princess Boss," Sludge jerked a claw at his three assistants. "Unless you at us ta come back later, I'll have my three underlings clean up the floor now." The 'underlings' hissed in anger.

"Yes, Sludge." Twilight rolled her eyes. "You can clean the floor now." As the three angry dragons started mopping and sweeping, badly, she spoke to Garble and Dash. "Why don't you try bowling? We have a bowling alley in town, you can't cause any damage that way."

Behind her Sludge and the others froze and started heading for the door as quietly as possible, which meant they made slightly less noise than an erupting volcano. "Hey! Watch it with that mop... Don't hit me in the eye with that broom!.. Yeah well, don't step on my feet, Klump, ya tub of lard!"

"Must you guys make all thet noise?" Applejack snorted at the three. "We're just talking about the bowling alley."

Garble snorted. "Feh. Like I'd ever go bowling. Those three," he pointed at his friends, "went there with tubby two nights ago an' wrecked the joint."

"Oh, well, then we'll just find something else and -- WHAT!" Twilight glared at the four dragons. "You leveled the bowling alley?"

"'Leveled' is kind of a strong word," Fume said weakly.

"We just kinda-sorta threw some of those bowling balls at the pins hard enough to knock holes in the back wall," Fizzle shrank as the ponies gave him dirty looks. "Hey, places are made tougher in the Dragonlands!"

"That, an' uh, we smashed the big glass display case with all the trophies in it." Klump pointed at Sludge as he smirked self-righteously. "And when the ponies that own the place asked us about payin' for damages, he burned the joint down!"

"What?" Sludge shrugged. "They wanted us ta pay ta repair it. No more bowling alley, no repair bill, right?" He and the others shrank back as Twilight hovered over them, her eyes ablaze.

"Now I know why got that letter from Princess Celestia about being on the lookout for rampaging dragons around Ponyville! I thought it was just Smolder and Spike having one of their fire-breathing competitions again!" She set her forehooves on her hips. "You four have caused enough trouble, but I won't be the one to punish you." As they smirked in relief, she said coldly, "This is a job for a dragon. SPIKE!" As her assistant flapped into the room, she pointed at Sludge and the rest. "These three burned the Ponyville bowling alley down. They need to be punished. so I'm leaving it up to you."

Spike grinned evilly at the four dragons. "So I get to decide what happens to you guys? Heh-heh-heh!"

(OOC: If anyone wants to continue this with Spike's punishment of the Four Scaly Stooges, go right ahead.)

Session 95.1 Unown3

The Diamond Wolf Shop Owner Alisa cackled with glee.

"Ha! Alisa put you all in different costumes when you sleeping! And cover ears with mufflers, and asked Starlight Glimmer to make Alicia forget how to read! So now you can't use safe word! ... "

But instead of reacting to this stunt, everypony was in a fishhead shaped stadium that obviously always been in Ponyville just off screen.

"Hey! Pay attention to Alicia!"

"We are fishmen." Shouted a fishman on stage.

"We are fishmen!"

"We are fishmen?"

"We! Are! FISHMEN!" Shouted one big fishman wearing a fake beard before kicking another Fishman off screen.

"Truly a work of art!" Rarity shouted.

"This is so cool!" Rainbow Dash cheered.

"Their culture is so deep and rich, I'm humbled at my foolish attempts to imitate their glory!" Said Princess Twilight.

Fluttershy coo'ed. "They're so adorable, those big squishy eyes, those big pointy fangs, their round bloated bodies..."

"Yes. They are so much fun," said Pinkie Pie calmly.

"We are fishmen!" Said a Fishman guppy in the audience with them.

"Yes Guppy," Twilight Sparkle nodded. "You've always been our best friendship student. You suspected Cozy Glow from the beginning before she did anything supscious, and you punching Neighsayer in the face over and over was the right thing to do all along."

"Yona wish she could be Fishwoman."

"We are fishmen."

Sandbar nodded. "Yeah, you've totally been the glue holding the group together. No wonder the tree of harmony spoke to you first."

"Fluttershy!" Discord teleported in. "You missed our teatime! Did you get kidnapped by changelings again I..." Discord's eyes dilated when he laid eyes on the Fishmen. "What a handsome race."

"Alicia.... must... make... lots of... fishmen... costumes!" Alicia said, a huge smile on her face. "Yes. Fishmen costumes are best. Alicia make lots of them!"

"What is with you jerks!" Princess Wave Dancer, inside a giant glass of water protested. "These jerks turned their own sea into a desert, then tried to invade the Merpony's sea and enslave us because all their old slaves escaped! And... we were... so mean to them... not accepting them as our new kings. They had a burden bringing their civilization to our inferior merpony culture... what right did we have to repel their invasion?"

Applejack shook her head. "What the heck is goin' on 'round here?"

+++

"And there's the new Dusklight book, giving the readers what they want, an epic love triangle between a Thestral, a wolf-pony, and my own version of the Kirin. UGH! Now that they've discovered Kirin, I'm going to have to come up with a completely different name for them!" Windy Whisper mumbled to herself. At least nobody new knew about her being the author except Rainbow Dash. "Uh-oh."

There was AK Yearling... looked like the bookshop had double booked...

Except...

"Why is nobody paying attention to AK Yearling or me?" Windy Whispers said.

"We are Fishmen." Said a Fishman author in an ill fitting business suit obviously too small for him. Sitting at a desk with a huge line of ponies before it. Along with a stack of book with the title 'We are Fishmen.' And a page open revealing the reviting text, 'We are fishmen,' written over and over and over.

"This is the coolest book ever!" Scootaloo said in line.

"Ah wanna read it over and over," Apple Bloom said.

"Let's be Cutie Mark Crusaders Fishwomen!" Sweetie Belle added.

"Yes... their book... is so superior to me... I should ask them for advice... and introduce a new Fishman into my next book, brave, handsome, brilliant, invincible, with no flaws, ponies are sure to love him..." Windy Whispers said.

Session 95.2 Mtangalion

Sludge gawked at Spike. “Wait, you’re…”

“... gonna punish us?” exclaimed Fizzle.

Fume snorted, and Klump burst out laughing. After all, Spike had finally sprouted up into something resembling an early teens dragon, but the others still easily looked down on him, and Sludge had him far out-massed, too. The teen dragon delinquents laughed and rolled on the floor, melting whole swaths of crystal with their laugh flames.

Garble rolled his eyes. “Ugh, do I really have to do this?” He stomped forward. “Hey, scalebrains!” He smacked a clawed fist into a palm. “You’re here because you’re being punished, so you’d better shut those yaps!”

Fume, Klump, and Fizzle stared at him… and started laughing even harder.

Garble recoiled. “Wha… huh?”

Fizzle pointed a claw. “Hah! You act like you’re all tough, but now we know the truth… Gar-Gar!”

Fume mock-gasped. “Oh no, it’s Garble! Better do what he says, or he might read poetry at us!”

Sludge looked like he was going to split his sides laughing. “Poetry, hah! At least I know how to hoard creature comforts and sleep on them like a real dragon!”

“Guys, help me out here,” said Klump. “What rhymes with total loser?!”

Garble snorted fire, clenching his fists. “Why, you…” Out of nowhere, a pink hoof barred his way.

“So!” shouted Pinkie Pie, grinning from ear to ear. “Those other dragons are giving you a hard time? They asked for it… show them your rhyme!” Pinkie pulled out a bundle of clothes, tossing them in a loop like a juggler before slapping them onto Garble… a blue sweater, baggy pants, a gold medallion with a ruby stone, and a wide-brimmed black hat. “DJ Scales and Tail, back me up!” She bounced onto two legs and put her forehooves to her mouth, beatboxing.

“Wha… What’s happening?!” cried Spike, dancing to her beat and striking a cool pose.

Garble growled. “I dunno, but it sounds like… dragon rap!” He grinned and stepped to the beat, snapping his claws. “Yeah, you got some beef with me? I’ve been around!” He grabbed hold of Sludge, spun around, and threw him like a bowling ball, knocking the three delinquents over.

Klump hopped to his feet first, roaring. “Get him!”

“I’ll have you spellbound!” boasted Garble, smoothly dodging Klump at the last moment and tripping him.

Fizzle and Fume looked at each other, them came flying at Garble, claws outstretched.

“Gonna put you right in the ground!” said Garble. He ducked, spun, dodged two attackers at once, and punched Fume so hard, he cracked the crystal wall where he impacted. “Where you won’t be found!” He intercepted Fizzle’s fist, waggled a claw in his face, then punched him too, before kicking both of them into a heap with Sludge and Klump. “So you’d better respect when you’re in my town!” Garble finished by posing with the defeated dragons and raising two claws in a V for victory pose. “Yeah!”

Applejack nudged Twilight. “Aren’t ya gonna say that violence ain’t always the answer?”

“That’s true,” mused Twilight, “but maybe dragon problems need dragon solutions. Oh, that could be a good chapter title for the Friendship Journal volume two!”

The doors slammed open, and Gallus stood there in the hall smugly. “Your dragon rap is no match for…” He put on shades and a backwards hoofball cap. “... griffon rap! I challenge you!”

Spike pulled out a scroll, checking his social calendar. “It’s gonna be a long summer...”

Session 95.3 Unown3

"You're Prince Shining Armor yes?"

"That's right, and you're Princess Wave Dancer of the merponies am I right?"

"Well, I'm no seaponies if that's what you're asking. I'm doing a report for school on Alicorns. And I wanted to get it from the horse's mouth... what was it like to carry Princess Flurry Heart in your pouch before she came to term?"

"SAY WHAT?"

"Oh I"m not a filly who thinks flying fish deliver foals. I know it's the male who carries the babies."

"Uh... I think you need a lesson on the difference between aquatic ponies and land ponies..."

"Oh!" A nearby bright blue changeling waved her hoof. "Is that like how other creatures don't have their egg feed off the life-force of other creatures before hatching?"

"Uh... yeah."

Session 95.4 Mtangalion

Gallus had a good chuckle at that, until he found himself face to face with none other than Princess Cadence. "Gallus, isn't it?" she asked in a soft, musical voice. "While we're here, perhaps you could help settle a bet. Now, you don't have to answer... this question might be a bit inappropriate."

"Then don't ask," muttered Gallus, starting to walk past her.

"Do griffons have live births, or do they lay eggs?"

Gallus froze in midstep. "Er... what?"

Princess Cadence smiled awkwardly. "None of the pony books that I could find on griffons actually said, and Twilight didn't know the answer either. I assumed it would be live birth, since the hindquarters is... well, the mammal part, but I've heard griffons talk about hatch-days too, and griffon young are called both hatchlings and grifflets."

Gallus glanced frantically left and right, searching for a way out of this. "Sorry, but... we griffons only talk about that among ourselves!"

"Not a problem!" purred Cadence. The blue glow of her magic flashed, and suddenly she was almost twice as large, a mighty griffoness with the plumage of a glorious pastel songbird and the sleek fur of a lioness... plus a comet tailtuft and twinkling stars in her crest. "Now can you tell me?"

Gallus' beak fell open, and his wings POMF'D out, fully spread.

Shining Armor smirked. "Definitely inappropriate."

Session 95.5 Unown3 Spoilers for IDW MLP #80

"ALRIGHT EVERYPONY! I MEAN EVERYONE!" Sunset Shimmer cheered. "It's time for the Rainbooms' first inter-dimensional gig! It's Ponyville's anniversary and we're gonna rock their world!"

"But... how are we gonna play musical instruments with hooves?" AJ asked.

"We ... better get you girls some practice in performing in Pony form first!"

Session 95.6 Unown3

Starlight Glimmer looked over her notes. "So Scootaloo's parents hadn't visited her in nine years, and her aunts had so little to do with Scootaloo's life that it was like they might as well have not existed yet?"

Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo nodded.

"They weren't there for Scootaloo's cutie mark party, and they weren't there when Scootaloo and the CMC became Ponyville's flag bearers, and they weren't there for any of our Hearth Warming Eve parties she had with us." Rainbow Dash said.

Pinkie Pie said, "Twilight Sprakle's brother might as well have not existed yet in spite of him having logically have been there at the Grand Galloping Gala, and Twilight isn't trying to disown him."

Starlight Glimmer nodded. "Good argument Pinkie Pie, but Scootaloo is a CHILD. Their absence is therefore far more glaring."

"Well, Sweetie Belle's parents aren't exactly seen around a lot right? Doesn't mean they don't exist in the mean time."

Sweetie Belle sobbed as Rarity hugged her.

Rarity said, "At least I didn't hoof off Sweetie Belle to others and lived in another town in the mean time."

Pinkie Pie sweated. "Welllll... we don't see Silver Spoon's parents ever. Do we assume they're neglectful or that she's an orphan?"

Starlight sighed. "But Silver Spoon has never been the center of attention, no offense dear."

"None taken, that's the story of my life," Silver Spoon sighed.

"While Scootaloo has been the center of attention at least three times, possibly more, and her aunts never showed up for any of them. And considering that Rainbow Dash was the one who actually DID emotionally support her ... eventually... after a year or two..."

"Uh, don't say I started out perfect," Rainbow Dash admitted awkwardly.

"That's still a better track record than her biological family has given her. And given Rainbow Dash DID managed to legally adopt Scootaloo WITHOUT her family even catching wind of it during the entire process, and join the Wash Outs, I'd say that makes clear how out of touch they are with her."

Session 95.7 Kendell2

"Alright, time to launch...our...attack..." said Spike the Werekirin as he and his group approached the lair of the Werecheetahs and Weremonkeys (and unknown to them, now remaining Werekitsunes)...to find a giant fortress built into a mountain. "What the heck?! How did they build that?!"

"Pinkie Pie?" Twilight asked.

"...Dang it! I forgot Pinkie Pie has weird toon powers!" Spike replied.

"Perhaps what we need now is a plan?" Twilight asked. She blinked, noting the structure seemed very Canterlot styled in its design. Not what she would've expected from those two.

"Eh, we're Kirins, let's just do what we normally do," Spike replied. "I mean it's Pinkie and Rainbow Dash, they don't exactly have architecture experience."

"...Yes, alpha..." said Rarity with a bit of sarcasm, her fur dyed pink from the tomato juice bath required to remove Fluttershy and her Wereskunks' spray.

The Kirins launched themselves up, descending on the fortress like a horde of locusts and preparing to pillage and burn it and convert those inside to their cause. Twilight noted that no one was firing at them or preparing for combat, which felt suspicious, but Spike was of course the Alpha and decided to rush in 'Leeroy Jenkins' into this. Spike was the first one to land...and phased right through the castle like it wasn't even there, throwing him off and causing him to crash into rocky mountain side behind it...and then be stampeded into by his entire pack, slamming them all into the mountain. "What the..." he muttered as he forced himself free of the pile of Werekirin.

The Kirins looked around, finding nothing but rock.

"It's an illusion spell..." said Twilight.

"But how?! None of them have illusions!" Spike replied, then looked down to find a gift box with a card on it. He opened the card and looked at the contents. "Your Werebeasts are in another castle..."

"Architects? No...pranksters? Eeyup," Applejack commented...

Before the gift suddenly opened to reveal several giant speakers that suddenly belted out music loudly, stunning the Kirin...

= Never Gonna Give You Up - Rick Astley =

"Ah! What's going on?!" asked Spike.

"They rick rolled us!" Twilight said in annoyance as they covered their ears against the loud music.

"What?!"

"A really annoying prank from Sunset's world!...Of course Pinkie Pie would know what that is."

The loud music not only stunned the lot of them, but caused a massive avalanche to begin from the summit right at them.

Spike had enough time to look up and give a whimper as the wave of snow washed him and his Kirin all the way down the mountain and buried them.

"...Again...pranksters..." Applejack said, voice muffled under several tons of snow and ice.

A Werekitsune watched from nearby and gave a giggle before departing with multiple others.

Rainbow Dash laughed. "Nice one with the illusions, NPC Blueblood!" she said to the NPC Kitsune.

"...Yes, thank you oh mighty player character for the compliment," Blueblood said in a deadpan voice. "The avalanche prank was also a smart move...but that won't keep them buried for very long."

"It doesn't need to, just long enough for us to get everything ready for them," Rainbow Dash said. "Let's see how Spike does when the guys he's coming after are ready for him! Your Werekitsunes setting up the other diversions?"

"Yes..."

Spike groaned, the Kirin digging themselves out of the snow, shivering and inner fire rather cooled. "Okay...so where is their REAL lair?" he asked...then looked around, finding several identical castles and other lairs, most of which were certainly illusions and traps, all over the place. "...Dang it..."

The crushed and damaged present made a 'Wah wah wah' sound. Spike burned it to ash with a somewhat weakened flame.

"...This will be harder than I thought..."

Session 95.8 Mtangalion

Starlight Glimmer lifted a large stack of documents in her magic and tapped them on her desk to square them off. “Now then… the court is going to ask what kind of home *you’re* providing Scootaloo. Given that dragons can’t cloudwalk…” She fixed Dash with a glare. “Where exactly are you and Scootaloo living right now?”

Rainbow Dash chuckled sheepishly, leathery wings fanning her sudden blush. “Oh, so you know about that, huh? Luckily, I knew just the place for a couple of Ponyville dragons. It’s even fireproof!”

Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo, Garble, Smolder, and Spike swooped past the cliffs between Sweet Apple Acres and the edge of town. “Aw, yeah!” roared Dash, spitting a fireball, then pulling a spinning dive right through it. “I think I’m getting better at this!” Her wing clipped a rock spire… smashing the rocks out of her way. “Whoops…”

On top of the cliffs below, Pinkie Pie cheered, waving a ‘Dragons rule!’ pennant at the impromptu five-dragon air show. “That was really cool, the way you all flew right past super close and went all WHOOSH and even made the camera shake!”

Spike blinked and looked around, but he saw no signs of a filming crew, or even photographers. “I’m not gonna ask…”

Windy Whisper leaned out of her cave. “Dash!! When I told you there were plenty more caves, I wasn’t saying you should move in next door and make a huge ruckus. Ugh, I need a thicker door.”

“Sorry!” yelled Dash.

Smolder shrugged. “Yeah, we should probably take this over to Ghastly Gorge.”

Garble flew up alongside her, folding his arms in a huff. “If those griffons aren’t hogging it again...” He gave Dash an odd leering grin, waggling his eyebrows. “You know… you’re kinda hot as a dragon! Wanna bang?”

“Wha… what!?” shouted Dash, stalling in mid air and nearly taking a dive. “Are you serious!? Did you seriously just…”

Garble blinked. “Um… yeah?”

Smolder snickered. “Dragons don’t do subtle. If you don’t like him, just punch him in the snout! He’ll get the message.”

Dash blinked. “Why does casual violence sound so… appealing right now?”

“Hah!” bellowed Garble. “We’ll make a real dragon out of you yet!” Then Dash tried to punch him in midair, and he dodged, razzing her.

Scootaloo hmmed, watching them. “Hey Spike, you’re kinda hot now that I’m a dragon! Wanna…”

Dash swooped in and grabbed Scootaloo, clapping a paw over her muzzle. “Nope! Nope, nope! You’re not learning that lesson today!” Her expression turned more thoughtful. “Am I being a bad influence on Scootaloo, with all this dragon stuff?” she mused to herself. “I’ve gotta think about this...”

Session 95.9 Kendell2

"Okay, so I have a lot of questions..." said Twilight, in an Enchanted Comic with Spike. She was currently dressed as a samurai version of Batmare, as the group looked up at multiple villains from the Power Ponies' rogues gallery (including several who normally never interacted with Batmare at all) in giant mecha as Maneiac laughed from her mecha castle.

"Twilight, this is all about being as crazy and actionpacked as possible, not about asking questions..." Spike said.

= Gat-Tai - Batman Ninja =

"Villains of Maretropolis!" called Maneiac as over the top as physically possible. "BECOME ONE!"

Twilight stared up as the four smaller mecha charged dramatically at the biggest one Maneiac was in and began clamping and combining together into one gigantic robot that slowly and dramatically rose over them...until a balloon landed on top and deflated to become a frankly intimidating version of Maneiac's face.

"FIVE UNITE AND SERVE THE SIXTH HEAVENLY QUEEN! LADY MANEIAC!" the supervillains announced while the mecha did a standard Neighponese mecha combination finishing pose with their faces appearing behind them (somehow) in a stylized picture as the Maneiac laughed maniacally.

"...See? Crazy and action packed!"

Twilight's eyes stared up widely. "HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO FIGHT THAT?!"

"With a giant Batmare made of monkeys and bats..."

"..."

"...I should've brought Rainbow Dash."

Session 95.10 Mtangalion

Someone was pounding on the just-installed front door of Rainbow Dash’s cave, much too early in the morning for lazy pegasi OR dragons. “Huh… Whazat?” muttered Dash, rolling over next to Scootaloo, on a makeshift hoard of golden bits, Wonderbolt collectables, and sports trophies.

“Dash, you’ve gotta help me!” squawked Gilda, when Dash opened the door. “I think I gave them the slip, but…” Suddenly, a lasso flew up, snared Gilda’s legs, and yanked her out of sight, leaving only a few hovering feathers.

“There ya go!” said Applejack, when Gilda was properly hogtied, and some waiting griffons had thrown extra nets over her for good measure. The farmpony, at least, was cheerfully awake and alert pre-dawn. “What’s she gone and done this time?”

Grandpa Gruff snorted. “We’re crowning her queen.”

“Ouch,” said Applejack, at once removing her hat and bowing her head. “Sorry to hear that.”

The flock of griffons started hauling Gilda into the air and towards the border of Ponyville… they were literally dragging her away kicking and squawking. Gilda glared downwards. “If you’re feeling guilty, some breakfast would be nice!” A bucked apple bonked her in the head… she swore even louder, but she made sure to catch the apple and tear a big bite out of it. “Gee, thanks,” she grumbled, still chewing.

Dash the dragon flew up alongside the net, cringing. “Gilda, I’m really sorry, but… If I don’t stay here for Scootaloo… the court hearing is really soon, and…”

Gilda sighed and rested her claw on Dash’s head for a moment. “Being responsible for stuff sucks, huh?” She noticed that the Idol of Boreas had caught up to her again, somehow tangled in the nets beside her. “Believe me, I know.” She glared at the flock of griffons who were following along to watch the coronation. “Seriously, you don’t want me ruling you! I make terrible decisions. Um… yeah, I’ve spent years making up for my mega-lame mistakes!”

One of the griffon employees from the meat restaurant nudged another. “Did you hear that? Our new queen will have the wisdom of experience!”

As Ponyville and Dash fell behind them, Gilda was surprised to see Princess Twilight flying hard to catch up. “I don’t suppose you’re going to get me out of this.”

Twilight shook her head. “Actually, Ambassador Gruff hired me to confirm that you have royal blood. Which I had to do all with magic, since Griffonstone’s records are in a deplorable state.” She shuddered, then unfurled a scroll. “Congratulations, you’re a pure lion/eagle breed, which makes it 99% certain that you’re descended from the last griffon king.”

Gilda covered her face with her claws. “Come on! Guys! What am I even going to rule over? A mud hut?”

A construction crew griffon unfolded plans from a saddlebag, showing them to her. “We’ve got your new palace all planned out, your soon-to-be-majesty!”

Gilda tugged on her crest feathers in frustration. “Well yeah… as soon as I’m queen, I’m throwing you all in the dungeon! How do you like that?!”

Gallus smirked, gliding closer. “You’ll have to build one first, ‘your majesty.’”

Gilda shouted, “Fine, we’ll do that! I’ll throw all you dweebs in jail! And hire guards to make you stay there!”

Gabby squealed happily. “Wow! Queen Gilda is already creating so many new jobs in Griffonstone!”

“And then!” squawked Gilda, trying to rip the net apart with her talons. “I’ll rub this stupid Idol like a magic lamp and make it rain gold to pay for all this crap!”

To Gilda’s dismay, the Idol of Boreas glowed, and suddenly the knowledge was right there in her head… the exact location of King Guto’s lost treasury, and the method for bypassing all the illusions and traps to open it. Gilda slumped. “Oh, buck my life.”

Session 95.11 Mtangalion

(Okay, I pieced this together, borrowing from Alex and Ardashir's chats. Sorry it took so long.)

It was a long flight from Ponyville to Griffonstone, even taking the direct route past Fillydelphia and over Celestial Sea. After Gilda exhausted herself trying to escape, she didn’t even realize she’d fallen asleep… even though she was now alone, trudging over a broken, rocky landscape beneath oppressively dark thunderclouds.

“I’ll show them,” Gilda muttered. “I don’t need any of those featherheads! I’ll just find some other town and… ugh, I don’t know… be a chef or something! I beat Gustave le Grand in a cooking contest, after all!”

"Now, now, Queen Gilda…” whispered a voice from the darkness. “Those days are behind you."

Gilda crouched, fur bristled and claws ready. “Who’s there!?”

Hissing and clinking over the stones, shackles came slithering from everywhere at once, rushing towards her! Gilda shrieked and tried to fly away, but one chain grabbed her foreleg. Then another wrapped around her midsection, then more snared her one after another. Gilda struggled as they pulled her towards a throne made to look like a bird cage.

The voice spoke again, growing deeper. “Here is your throne... Here is your crown..." The chains placed a gem-studded golden crown with a built-in beak gag over her face "Here is your scepter..." Her foreclaws were shackled together with a clash of steel as manacles forced her to uphold the Scepter of Guto. "You can do whatever you want, as long as you behave like a good ruler to your flock. All hail Queen Gilda."

Gilda was just about to get properly peeved, when a titanic form swooped in out of nowhere, huge paws slamming down. Wings swooshed open to full extension, tearing the darkness asunder and revealing a glittering dreamscape… and the colossal griffon standing over her.

“Young Gilda,” purred Gerulf the Grand Griffon. “We meet once more! Soon…” He arched a brow, seeming perplexed. “Aren’t you being a bit overdramatic?”

Gilda tried to lunge towards him, rattling the chains. “I’m being overdramatic?! You’re the one who’s…”

A brilliant flash of light interrupted both of them. The two griffons turned and saw a glowing door unlock and swung open, allowing Luna, Princess of the Night and Dreams, to step regally towards her. “Hello, Gilda.”

Gilda groaned. “Oh, good. Now I can complain to the management. This dream sucks! Please tell me I dreamed the whole thing with getting confirmed as bucking royalty and hauled away too!”

Princess Luna shook her head, "Nay, that was quite real. I must say, though... most ponies would jump at the chance to become royalty. While you are right to take this burden seriously, I think you have serious issues that need resolving here."

Gilda looked left and right at her birdcage throne, incredulous. "Ya think?!?"

Luna stepped closer, extending a wing to brush the cage with her feather tips. "You fear responsibility, seeing it as imprisonment. You fear the burden being placed upon you without your consent."

"So would anygriff with half a brain,” muttered Gilda. “What's your point?"

"And yet you still had the feathers to save Rainbow Dash, and not the idol."

"Yeah, well…” Gilda scratched the back of her neck awkwardly. “Dash is my friend, even if she’s a flip-flop sometimes. I like having her around! You think I want to be surrounded by dozens of griffs who only want to use me? You oughta know what THAT'S like."

"Indeed we do,” said Luna somberly. “That said, who do you think is going to lead Griffonstone if you will not?"

"Um… I dunno... There's Gabby. She’s good at anything without even trying. That little smart-aleck Gallus... Heck, Grandpa Gruff loves telling everygriff what to do. Give him the crown!"

Luna seemed to consider this for a moment. "Regrettably, Gruff is not as... progressive as you. Gabby’s many talents do not extend to persuading other griffons to follow her lead. Neither can it be Gallus, for his fate lies elsewhere."

Gerulf picked that moment to clear his throat, sounding like a misfiring airship engine. “Might I get a word in edgewise? I was here first.”

"Mind thy manners, thou overgrown feather-duster!” snapped Luna. “We outrank thee. Besides, it was the unreasonable expectations of thy patron Boreas which gave rise to this situation!"

“Unreasonable?!” retorted Gerulf.

“If Boreas actually bothered to lead the griffons himself and set an example, as we’ve done with ponies…”

“Holding their hooves, and doing everything for them, you mean! Father Boreas has judged Gilda worthy and given her his blessing to rule. The other griffons might have gotten a little… carried away...”

Luna snorted. “Carried away, thou sayest!? When one plays the game of uncomfortable stiff-backed regal chairs...”

Gilda wanted to slam her head against something. "Yeesh, who else is gonna show up?"

So of course, Queen Novo appeared out of nowhere. "Okay, what's this I hear about one of my descendants from that fling I had with King Granch the First eight hundred years ago, wanting to buck her responsibilities as queen?"

Before Gilda could faint, Gerold shoved Novo to one side and whispered in Gilda’s ear. "Hey, featherbrain! Are you just gonna sit there and take all this, babe? I’ve just about cut through the ropes, but you need to wake up..."

Wake up… Wake up…

Gilda’s eyes snapped open, and there was Gerold in the flesh, grinning slyly. “Remind me to do naughty things with you later,” she purred, before she sucked in a deep breath and roared, bursting free of the nets!

“Hey, hey!” she bellowed at all the shocked griffons. “Thanks for the lift, but I can fly my own bucking self to Griffonstone! What, you want a queen that shows up to her own coronation like a trussed-up turkey?”

“Hah, now that sounds more like a queen,” crowed Grandpa Gruff. “I knew you’d come around.”

“Shut it, you old buzzard.” Gilda pumped her wings and rose, hovering over the whole crowd. “I’ve got more to say! First off, No palaces or dungeons or anything like that; I already HAVE a house to live in. And no sticking some lame heavy crown on my head, either! If I need you griffs to notice me..." She reared back and gave a savage, earsplitting screech. "I’ll just do that!"

Gallus smirked. “Heh. Looks like the queen has returned.”

Session 95.12 Ardashir

"AHHHH!" Spikes wings beat at the air as he flew up from the 'Friendship Dungeon'. Students at the school scattered as he raced to the office of Headmistress Twilight. He hurled the door open, flew inside, and slammed it shut behind him. "TWI! We have an emergency!"

"Spike!" The little dragon stopped, chewing his claws, as Twilight grabbed him with her magic. "What is the matter? We have guests here!" She pointed her hoof at Maud and Mud Briar. "They came to see Pinkie Pie, and..."

"Technically," Mud Briar said, raising a hoof and ignoring Twilight's annoyed snort, "we came to Ponyville to visit Pinkie Pie, not the Friendship School. And we don't wish to just see her. We intend to spend the next few hours talking with her." He might have said more, but Maud set her hoof on his mouth.

"Mud Briar, we've talked about this." She said in her usual deadpan voice. "Interrupting ponies is impolite."

"Maud, dearest," he looked at her. "I will not apologize for correcting imprecise ideas expressed about our plans and intentions."

Spike and Twilight gulped as Maud seemed to glare, before she gave a very small and heartfelt smile.

"Our first argument," she said, and touched her nose to his. She said in her usual voice, "Only you can arouse such passion in me." He smiled as well, and then they both looked at Spike. "So. What was the emergency you were going to warn us about?"

"Huh? Oh!" The little dragon flew to Twilight. "Uh, Twi, remember a few years ago, how Discord summoned Poncererak the demilich and those four-clawed brain thingies?"

Mud Briar seemed to shudder, but at a meaningful look from Maud stayed silent.

Spike hurried on with, "They're out of their cages! And when I asked old skully where they were, he just laughed at me and told me to guess!"

"WHAT?" Twilight leaped into the air. "Those things can possess anypony! Our sole consolation is that they can't imitate ponies or their emotions very well, and they'll be acting kind of strange." She flew out the door into the hallway, calling back as she did, "Spike! We have to check out the school body and then Ponyville, right now!"

Spike started to fly after her, and then froze as he remembered what Twilight said about how to identify a intellect devourer-possessed pony. He turned and gave Maud and Mud Briar a fearful look. They looked back at him in total calmness.

"I can guess what you're thinking," Maud said, "and I find it highly insulting."

***

Meanwhile, down in the Friendship Dungeon, Poncererak grumbled atop his cushion.

"I had those fools take control of those Diamond Dogs to bear my message to Grogar," he grumbled. "Collecting the greatest villains in Equestria and ignoring me? The insolence! How can anypony see me as less than the pinnacle of evil?"

He froze as he heard some of the Student Six in the hallway outside. "Well, if we've got nothing else to do, we can always do another game of catch with old boney."

Poncererak moaned.

"I hate my life."

Session 95.13 Unown3 spoiler comic80

Discord exasperated, "You had a LARP and didn't invite ME?!"

Rainbow Dash said, "LARPing require imagination Discord... which nobody HAS TO use while you're around making all the imaginary stuff real, defeating the purpose of us imagining to begin with!"

Discord snarled. "I create illusionary worlds all the time with over the top, anything goes, utterly insane gratuitous power fantasies for ponies griffins and dragons in Ponyville all the time!"

Pinkie Pie said, "Flim and Flam already tried to sue me for hosting a LARP in Ponvyille... didn't get them anything."

Session 95.14 Mtangalion

Gilda’s new subjects weren’t so keen on their new queen not wearing any crown at all, but she managed to bargain them down to a princessy little tiara. That was one literal pain in her neck averted. Unfortunately, there were plenty more waiting.

“You, construction guys!” barked Gilda, holding court on her front porch. “Clean out the water and sewage systems from the Old Kingdom and get them working again. No more being an international laughingstock!” She gestured, and two big strong griffs opened a chest and counted out some more of the late King Guto’s hoarded gold to pay for it.

Three more of Gilda’s new guards escorted a small owlish griffon to her “throne” … Giles the griffon wizard. “I’m warning you, madam!” squawked Giles, failing to keep the panic out of his voice. “You’re not burning me at the stake without a f-f-fight!”

Gilda face-clawed. “Ugh, I said bring him here gently, you guys! Look, I need a court wizard. You want a job?”

A lot of griffons looked shocked, none more so than Giles himself. “You mean… official status?” he gasped. “Protection? No.. no more hiding so adventuring parties don’t come chop my head off?” When Gilda nodded, there were tears in Giles’ eyes. “Yes… your majesty! Yes please!”

“Everygriffon should be this easy to please,” muttered Gilda, smirking. “Great! Ponies have these things called granaries. I want storehouses with spells for meat preservation. Make it happen!”

A particularly foul-tempered griffon stormed up to Gilda’s “seat of power” and pointed an accusing talon. “You suck, and your new laws double-suck!!”

“Okay, fine,” said Gilda, holding out her crown and twirling it on a claw. “You can be queen.”

The offending griffon recoiled as if Gilda had offered her a deadly viper, then fled like a streaking crossbow bolt.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Gilda pointed to more griffons in the crowd. “You want a job too? Get those library books indoors and sort them. We’ve gotta keep Princess Purplepants and her friends on our good side. You, see what it’ll cost to build a train station here and extend the tracks. And you, talk to the ambassador from the yaks and make sure he doesn’t destroy anything we didn’t want destroyed anyway!”

When Gilda retreated back into her house to unwind for a bit, Gabby was there to cheer her up, despite nogriffon having invited her. “Wow, you’re really good at this, Gilda! When did you learn so much about running a city?”

“Oh, here and there,” said Gilda cagily. “Blessing of Boreas, yadda yadda.” Once she finally got Gabby to leave, though, she booted up the human computer that Princess Twilight had gifted her, and started a new game of SimVillage Online.

Luck was really going Gilda’s way; she was delighted to see that the game had matched her with her favorite opponent, Goldie Locks. “Hey there!” Gilda said aloud while she typed in the chat. “I could really use some more tips for playing on Expert mode. There’s, um… yeah, there’s still some things I’m not quite getting...”

Far away in the Canterlot Royal Palace, Princess Luna looked in on her sister, frowning. “Celly, are you playing video games on that human computing engine again, after you chastised me for playing the mobile-phone too much? Why do you not do something productive with your time?” Luna trotted away, shaking her head.

Princess Celestia smiled, then turned her attention back to SimVillage Online. “Ask away, Crooked Feather,” she typed with her magic. “I’m always happy to train up a more worthy opponent.”

Session 95.15 Grogar-the-oneser

"So your character name is Rarity?"

"I'm the team cleric, I think I can choose any name I want without criticism, Recker." Rarity tease the team fighter.

"Yeah, if I can choose not to go full outfit, Rarity can choose her own name." Applejack stated as she had the animals search for treasure

"Seriously, how the heck are you doing that?" Rainbow questioned

"Ranger," Applejack stated, as if that explained everything.

Session 95.16 Unown3

"Hiiiiiii!" Waved a ghostly paled skinned 'human' with solid black eyes and six shadowy wings, and slick black hair, wearing a pale outfit with suspenders.

"Uh.. who are you?" Sunset Shimmer asked surrounded by her friends.

"I'm the envoy of the end, the time has come. Was fun while it lasted. But now it's over. I'm just making a quick stop here before heading off to Equestria in a few months give or take. But the bell tolls for you now."

Session 95.17 sonicandmario826

Pinkie suddenly showed up out of nowhere saying, “Actually we still have a few shorts left before we’re done.”

The envoy rolled its eyes before saying, “Fine, but I’ll be back.”

The mysterious figure then disappears without a trace.

Session 95.18 Ardashir

"So, why is this happening again?" Twilight asked as she tried to escape from Garble's crushing grip.

"I''d like ta know that too -- leggo a' me, ya crazy lizard!" Rainbow Dash flapped her wings desperately to escape Garble's clutches. He just squeezed her and Twilight even more tightly. "I thought ya got over hating us!"

"I don't hate you! I love you!" Garble sobbed out, slurring his words. He swayed on his feet as he held them both. "Ponies gave me a home after Ember banished me, an' they like my poo-por-poetry, an' you saved all th' little hatchlings!" He focused his bleary eyes on Fluttershy. "Well, she did. But she's a pony so that means you helped too! Somehow. I think." He started sobbing and hugged them even tighter as their ribs creaked.

"I'm so sorry, girls," Fluttershy held her hooves to her mouth. She put her hooves over her mouth to cover her laughter. "I got into a game, I guess, with Tree Hugger. Each of us tried to produce a plant the other had never heard of..."

"Well how did that lead to THIS?" Twilight yelled. She teleported out of Garble's grip, only for him to snatch her right back.

"Uh, well, she brought back something she and her friends grew by crossbreeding Dragon Sneeze trees with some plants of theirs," Fluttershy explained. She smiled at Garble. "I'm not sure what. But does it matter? I've never seen Garble so happy."

"I can guess!" Dash yelled and fought to escape. "I'm just glad I was able ta convince Discord ta turn me and Scootaloo back ta ponies so I could perform with the Wonderbolts -- yow, watch those ribs, pal!"

Twilight froze as she thought of something. "Fluttershy, how much of this stuff did Tree Hugger bring back?"

Both Dash and Twilight shuddered at the sound of draconic whoops of joy outside the Friendship School.

"Hey, guys! Watch how far this blast goes!" There came a sound like a small volcanic eruption, followed by Gallus' yell: "Hey! My pinfeathers!"

"Oh, not much," Fluttershy looked embarassed as Twilight frowned. "Just enough to keep the dragons playful for a few days. How much damage can they do?"

Twilight sighed and yelled. "SPIKE! We need to send a message to Celestia for some help..."

Spike flew lazily into the room, crashed into the wall, and slid down to the floor. He smiled blearily at Twilight. "Hey, Twi! Great to see you and my besh, my best dragon buddy Gar-Gar," he giggled, "gettin' along so well! You know," he waved one claw as though trying to point at all of them at once, individually, "that Tree Hugger is pretty chill, too. It was great of her to share those brownies with me an' Smolder an' Sludge an' all th' other dragons..."

Twiight groaned. "And I thought Sunset's coffee shipments were a problem."

Session 95.19 Ardashir

Rarity exclaimed, "But I don't have anything to wear for -- girls, just what does one wear for the end of the world?"

Spike cried out, "But the world can't end now! I haven't even seen the sequel to the latest Godzilla movie yet!"

Sci-Twi snapped, "Spike!"

Spike replied, "Hey, you have your priorities and I have mine."

Adagio sneered at the group. "HAH! I may be about to vanish from existence, but at least I'll see all of you go too!"

The Envoy of the End raised a finger, "Actually, you Sirens will be sticking around."

The Mane Seven all together shouted, "What?!?"

Adagio fist pumped. "YES! I get to survive even the end of the world! I'll rule the new universe as its absolute GODDESS! And..."

The avatar of the coming of the end waved a hand. A TV screen appeared with the words 'Sonata the Happy Siren Show' on screen.

The TV showed a smiling blue Siren with her yellow and purple Siren sidekicks swimming in a happy sea as she sang,

"Good is better than Bad!
Glad is better than Sad!
Don't think twice, just be Nice,
Good is better than Bad!"

Sonata cheered, "Yay! I get to lead the band!"

Adagio turned to Sunset. "Kill me now. Please."

Session 95.20 Ardashir (with edits)

Fluttershy whimpered, "The world can't end! Who will look after my poor animals."

Zephyr Breeze lamented, "And Rainbow Dash will never get the chance to beg me to have sex with her!"

Dash said, "Wow, even the Apocalypse has a bright side. I'm feeling bummed over missing the next Daring Do movie though. Remember how they gave me another cameo in it?"

Applejack rolled her eyes. "How can we forget, yah never stop braggin' about it. 'Least Ah don't have ta worry about payin' off those loans on Sweet Apple Acres."

Pinkie Pie grinned and her eyes squeaked as she looked left and right. "WOW! I get to do my first 'The World Is Ending, We're All Doomed' party! Gosh, I wonder, ice cream or cake for everyone? What am I saying? Both, it's our last chance."

***

At Canterlot High:

Principal Celestia over the speaker system called, "This is to remind all students that, despite the 'end of the world' rumor, you're still expected to do your assigned homework."

***

At Crystal Prep:

Ex-Principal Cinch was hiding in a closet with a reinforced door, and leaning against it as pounding came through from the other side. "You don't dare do it! You'll get life!"

Sour Sweet from other side of door cackled, "Ha-ahahaha! Come up with a meaningful threat! Now let's get her, guys!"

Lemon Zest said, "Wow, tossing our hated principal off the roof! Dare we live the dream?"

"EX-Principle," Sugarcoat said. "I regret we'll never get to 'go pony' like Twilight and assimilate her into our circle of friends."

Session 95.21 Mtangalion

Starlight sipped her tea and sighed, wishing she had something strongly alcoholic to put in it. “So, Smolder! Is there anything you’ve been wanting to talk about? Maybe something you’ve been… oh, I don’t know, reluctant to bring up at our counseling sessions?”

The young orange dragoness blushed… blushed! … Sitting at Princess Twilight’s private tea table with them, wearing an adorable pink dress. “W-Why would you think that, Professor Starlight?” She beamed at Starlight, concealing her fangs. “Teehee!”

Princess Twilight knocked back her own cup of tea like she actually was drinking shots, then refilled it with her magic. “And if it wasn’t for Equestria’s new draconic copyright regime and these insane copyright term extensions, we could have easily had a Daring Do meets The Legend of Cadence crossover by now! Why won’t Luna listen to me and… ugh, just change the laws already?!”

Knowing that she’d probably regret it, Starlight raised a hoof. "Twilight, don't you mean 'draconian’ copyright regime?'"

Smolder put down her teacup. “Nah, draconic is the right word. Hold on, I’ll show you!”

Several teleports later, Twilight, Starlight, and Smolder were being shown around a spacious new law office in the Crystal Empire, entirely staffed by young dragons. Clerks scribbling away, delivery dragons continually dispatching legal documents by dragonflame and receiving them back again, and lawyers wearing pony-style suits or dragon battle armor, the whole nine yards.

“Why so surprised?” asked Smolder. She’d accidentally burned the dress in her haste to remove it before any other dragon saw. “I mean, hoarding valuable treasures and not caring who else could benefit from them IS kind of our thing.”

At a nearby desk, Eight-Bit was arguing with one of the lawyers. “Hah! It says right here in our new legal disclaimer: 'This role-playing game is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to real creatures or races is purely coincidental.' So you CAN'T sue us for portraying lizardmen as dumb anti-intellectuals!"

The dragon lawyer merely laughed. "Uh huh. Mr. Bit, let me tell you about what we in OUR business call an 'Act of Tiamat.'"

He opened a window… and in the far distance, they all saw Tiamat herself swoop down and sit on a certain RPG publishing studio. “OOPS.”

Session 95.22 Ardashir

Twilight's day was going calmly and everything looked rosy, with no villain or monster attacks to worry about. She sat back in her chair at the Friendship School, having set down her latest Daring Do novel to start reading reports on the new 'Friendship Guards' being hired.

"Okay, we have a Diamond Dog, a hippogriff, Gabriel and those other two griffons and -- huh? Three dragons want to join? Who..." She looked up as her door opened to admit Klump, Fizzle, and Fume. "You can't be serious!"

"Hey!" Klump and his fellows flew over to land before her desk. "We're dragons, we know how ta fight!" He shook his claws. "And I'm gettin' dishpan hands from all the times Sludge has us scrubbin' the floor."

"It's more dignified!" Fizzle snorted out a blast of fire. "And how many guards do ya have that can do that?"

"Guys, look," Twilight remembered her own experiences with dragons as well as conversations with Ember and Smolder. She flew into the air and hovered over them, making the three young drakes look up at her. "It's just that I don't need so many guards. Ponyville isn't all that dangerous a place, and --"

"Ahhh!" Twi jumped as Spike ran into the room. "Twilight! The whole town's getting attacked by some giant squid guy named Squirk, he broke out of a bottle in Time Turner's lab..." He stopped as equine screams sounded outside the castle, together with water splashing through the windows.

"ALL OF PONYLAND WILL BOW BEFORE MY WATERY MIGHT, AND I --" A mighty voice roared in burbling tones, only to fall silent as a barely audible voice that sounded like Sweetie Bell spoke up. Squirk said, "Oh, thank you little filly, I didn't know things had changed that much. Ahem, where was I, oh yes, PATHETIC PONIES, ALL OF EQUESTRIA WILL BOW BEFORE MY MIGHT!"

Twilight and the three dragons went to the window Outside in the deep magically-summoned lake in the middle of town, a massive crimson cephalopod waved tentacles with razor-edged suckers, snatching roofs off of buildings. A swirling black hole in space appeared above the monster, with burbling groans. Ponies ran far enough to escape his reach, then turned, stopped, and started breaking out the popcorn.

"Rainbow Dash vill take him down vit a Sonic Rainboom!" Lotus Blossom called out.

"Naw, ma big sis Applejack will buck him so hard he'll fly back ta the ocean!" Apple Bloom proudly called out.

Twilight just turned to the three dragons, who seemed to be turning pale under their scales. Even Fizzle.

"Okay, you want to prove you deserve to be guards rather than janitors?" She pointed her hoof at Squirk and the gateway to realms of untold eldritch horror. "Go handle that." She flew back into her office.

"So, genius." Fume and Fizzle looked at the monstrous squid, and then at the horrified Klump. "Tell us again about how easy it'll be ta impress the puny ponies."

Session 95.23 Ardashir

(OOC: In 'honor' of our local festival Musikfest)

"Okay, girls, here we are!" Sunset dropped down from the back of the van, followed by all the girls but Applejack, the sole one of them with a driver's license besides Sunset Shimmer. She felt the heat and humidity hit like a slap. Within a few feet a crowd of the typical summertime celebrants surged, the noise and smells filling the air. Sunset wrinkled her nose at the last part, briefly, and said, "The Rainbooms are getting some real recognition, we were asked to play at Musikfest's Blauplatz."

"Yes, dear," Rarity said, checking the listed performers. "Along with, ahem," she frowned and adjusted her sunglasses, "the Red Hot Ramblers, DJ Kong and the Skull Island Savages, and," she blinked, "what is 'the Jolly Joe Timmer Tribute Band'?"

Her answer came down the street, the crowd parting as men dressed in best German polka tradition went past, brass shining, bare hairy legs marching, horns blaring, and their oompahs oompah-paing. Pinkie clapped her hands in delight. Rarity shuddered.

"No one better ask me to do the Chicken Dance," she muttered.

"Okay," Dash said as she took her guitar out of the van. "Those guys won't be a challenge." She wiped her forehead. "Yow! Hot out here. I hope the hotel room has some AC."

"Whew!" Twilight said as she stepped out of the air-conditioned van. She mopped her forehead. She checked her Ipad and frowned. "Ugh! High temps and thunderstorms all week. Girls, remember to stay hydrated. You too Spike. No need for heatstroke on top of everything else." When Spike stood up and gave her a salute, she coughed and tapped his collar. Spike sulked and dropped back on his four paws. "Remember, this isn't Canterlot High. People might react badly if they saw a talking dog here."

"Looks like th' locals are already gettin' pretty well lubricated," Applejack said as she dodged one staggering hefty Fest attendee. She glanced at the stand's prices and yelled. "Th' hay? Seven an' a half for little Styrofoam cup o' beer, an' more for some cider?"

"They do that to try and keep things under control," Sunset told her. She glanced at the stand and shook her head. "And I thought the prices back in Equestria merchants charged during the Summer Sun Celebration were high." Another Festgoer, bearing an unpleasant similiarity to that overweight CrystalSoft programmer Sludge, swayed past with a tray holding half a dozen drinks. "Maybe they're not high enough for everyone."

Nearby Spike sniffed at some spilled beer and made a gagging noise, complete with one toe held before his muzzle. "I'll never understand what humans see in that stuff. Smells like chemicals in Twi's lab." He looked up to see the beer-toting Fest goer peering at hm blearily. "Uhhh..." he thought desperately. "I can explain."

"Yer early," the man slurred. He pointed to his watch. Some of his beer spilled over Spike, who made a disgusted face. "It's six and you're not supposed to be here until eight."

"Huh?" Spike looked at a nearby clock. He pointed at it. "You're nuts, pal; it's not even three!" He recoiled as the man leaned over, almost collapsing. His breath reminded Spike of the time Sweet Apple Acres' apple harvest half rotted on the trees before falling to the ground.Spike ate some of the apples and remembered very little of the next day. "I mean, I'd say that if I could talk, which I can't. Heh. Ruff, ruff."

"You may think it's three," the man said with tremendous caution, holding one finger up. It moved back and forth, his eyes following it for a moment before he held up one beer and said, "But believe me, this one makes it six!"

(OOC: If this doesn't fit, and it seems not to, then don't use it.)

Session 95.24 Mtangalion

In the human world, Shining Armor looked ready to leap out of his chair and nerd-scream, and World of Horsecraft had only just finished patching and booted up. “YES! It feels like it’s been forever, but the new raid is finally here!” He looked over his shoulder. “Thanks for letting me have this night, Cady.”

Cadence smiled. “Just tell your friends to keep the language down a little, okay?” In her arms, baby Flurry Heart burbled happily, trying to escape her diaper again.

Shining strapped on his headset and microphone. “Early invites are here! Everybody ready?”

“Ready and rarin’ to go!” answered AJ.

“Ready as a slow-roasted Thanksgiving turkey with an extra double helping of Granny’s best cranberry sauce,” said Big Mac in his Orchard Blossom voice.

Twilight made her character do a salute emote. “Present and ready for action!”

“You know it!” said Spike the Dog, on his own laptop.

“Yeah, yeah, can we get started already?” said Rainbow Dash. “I have to do more DPS than Gilda and win our bet!”

“As if!” shouted Gilda, trying to work her mouse with two dogs, Garble and Ember both, trying to climb into her lap for a front-row seat to the game.

“Um, I’m ready too… I guess!” said Fluttershy. “I practiced my Dire Bear rotation, since they added that form to the Druid class officially… oh, I hope I don’t mess up!”

“So where are we going?” asked Pinkie Pie, munching on snacks with her microphone open.

Shining Armor facepalmed. “Did you really not see any of the previews or spoiler videos? We’re going…” He paused, then put on his Epic Dungeon Master voice. “Tonight, we venture into Tartarus itself! There, we shall seek the prize that the evil Lord Tirek thought he could hide from us… The Sparks of Trust and Hope… the keys to the new magic that will be his downfall! … Oh, and I’d like to welcome some of our new and returning guild members from out of town, wink wink!”

“Yep, it’s official,” said a smirking Princess Twilight. “Shining Armor is a dork in any universe.”

“Can’t really argue with that,” said Spike the Dragon.

“Nice support there, guys,” said Prince Shining Armor, on his own computer right beside them.

Smolder grinned deviously. “I hope we get more lovey-dovey cutscenes with Garble the Dragon Brawler and Ember!”

“Hey, shut up!” whined Garble, logging into his griffon warrior. “Ugh, this game would be so much better if we could make our own dragon characters.”

“I dunno, you still make a pretty good griffon!” teased Queen Gilda. She turned around, glaring at all the griffons trying to watch the game over her shoulders. “What? I’ve only got one of these computer things here! Okay, fine, I’ll ‘stream’ the action to all your phones. Don’t squawk at me if the aethernet crashes again.”

On their computer screens, a flying camera swooped through the smashed gates of Tartarus, past empty crystal cells, lightless depths, and released monsters, before swooping along a crooked path to reveal the first boss…

(GARBLE, THE FALLEN | DARK DRAGON BRAWLER)

Spike the Dragon whistled. “Well, speak of the devil.”

“You gotta be kidding me,” said Garble, NOT pressing his push-to-talk key. “I gotta fight myself?”

Garble the raid boss twirled a massive battle-axe in his paws. His eyes glowed, possessed by the shadowy radiance of the Rainbow of Darkness, and his scales were burned coal black. Roaring, he swept the axe left and right, and giant stone elementals rose, flanking him. “Bring it, dweebs! Those who defy Lord Tirek will be crushed by the rage of the earth!”

Session 95.25 Unown3

Crystalsoft Employee Sludge revealed helpfully. Filling for a day for game designer Discord who was rambling about the end of the world.

"I got this great idea for how to deal with toxic players from this player Equal Rites on the forums...now whenever anyone acts like a jerk, they'll be turned into a living ball of slime! And any naught words will be altered to something more appropriate!"

Vice President Chrysalis' eyes widened. "Uh-oh."

--

"This totally -is a nice and beautiful day-," said a red gold blob of slime.

"If you ask me I think -we should all hug each other,-" said a large gold and white blob of slime.

Meanwhile Equal Rites happily skipped along, the market place full of giant blobs of slime saying happy and pleasant things to each other.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leIF-mIeoWY

Session 95.26 Unown3 (line by Ardashir)

Honest Apple (AJ)
OrchardBlossom (Big Mac)

BBBFF (human Shining Armor)
FaithfulStudent (Sci-Twi)

RisingSun (Sunset Shimmer)

PurplePup (Spike The Dog)

D@r1ng-d0 (Rainbow Dash)
R0xx-star-queen (Human Gilda)

Flutter Nice (Fluttershy)
PinkSugarExplosion (Pinkie Pie)

REAL_Princess (Princess Twilight)

Garbunkle2 (Spike The Dragon)

Crystal_Prince (Pony Shining Armor after finding out BBBFF was taken)

Blackest_Flame (Garble's griffon warrior)

Noneofyourbusiness! (Queen Gilda she din't understand what the character creation was asking her at the time)

Rarity (Rarity)

EG!Dash groaned looking at her hot keys. "Yeesh, does it feel to anyone else like it's been more than a year since we played this game?"

That was when Fairest of Them All, Dark Lord, and YourBestFriend(Cozy Glow's character), appeared and rushed to the boss monster Garble... and let their characters be killed to give the gate keeper boss an automatic buff.

Thankfully, Rarity... yes, she had used her own name for her cleric's name, (thankfully she hadn't included her last name), arrived. "Sorry I'm late darlings! Work ran long! And--OH MY!"

And RisingSun showed up,"Ditto! You won't believe what had to deal with those CrystalSoft suits and you were supposed to be with me there REAL-Princess and-Geeze, they aren't pull any punches here are they?"

Author's Note

Session 95.0 Ardashir
Session 95.1 Unown3
Session 95.2 Mtangalion
Session 95.3 Unown3
Session 95.4 Mtangalion
Session 95.5 Unown3 Spoilers for IDW MLP #80
Session 95.6 Unown3
Session 95.7 Kendell2
Session 95.8 Mtangalion
Session 95.9 Kendell2
Session 95.10 Mtangalion
Session 95.11 Mtangalion
Session 95.12 Ardashir
Session 95.13 Unown3
Session 95.14 Mtangalion
Session 95.15 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 95.16 Unown3
Session 95.17 sonicandmario826
Session 95.18 Ardashir
Session 95.19 Ardashir
Session 95.20 Ardashir (with edits)
Session 95.21 Mtangalion
Session 95.22 Ardashir
Session 95.23 Ardashir
Session 95.24 Mtangalion
Session 95.25 Unown3
Session 95.26 Unown3 (line by Ardashir)

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?
What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Art by qzygugu

https://www.deviantart.com/qzygugu/art/Solar-Ring-708632362

Session 96

Session 96.0 Ardashir (with flashback)

That was when Fairest of Them All, Dark Lord, and YourBestFriend(Cozy Glow's character), appeared and rushed to the boss monster Garble... and let their characters be killed to give the gate keeper boss an automatic buff.

Back in Equestria, in Grogar's hidden lair, the three villains cackled with glee and high-fived each other for making the impending battle even more dangerous.

"After we help Grogar conquer the world," Tirek rubbed his hands together, "as soon as I get my hands on that traitor Discord, I'm going to put him in this game somehow, just so I can kill him again and again!"

"Hah! Reminds me of all the times I seduced Shining Armor's paladin when we were gaming up at the Crystal Empire!" Cozy and Tirek looked at her in disbelief. Chrysalis sniffed. "What? Not all of us were locked in Tartarus."

"Dying to empower a greater villain was a great idea! I..." Cozy gulped and turned pale. "Wait, what if that's why Grogar wants us around? To take OUR power to defeat the Mane Six?"

Chrysalis and Tirek opened their mouths to laugh at the idea -- and instead looked at each other in mounting horror.

And in the shadows at the far side of the room, a hidden Grogar smiled.

Session 96.1 Kendell2

Twilight decided to do something a little bit different playing Manecraft for the fun of it: she entered her name into the seed generator.

When it loaded up, she was rather happy with the first thing she saw: a nice open plains with some exposed materials. She decided to do the smart thing and instantly get some sheers to make a bed with the nearby sheep's wool before night fall, finding just enough surface iron to do it...

And then instantly noticed a village nearby which beds now auto generated in.

After a sigh of annoyance and night in bed (and meticulously making sure her bed, crafting table, and furnace were arrange symmetrically) , she decided to go over and check it out...and noted that despite including a blacksmith and stone mason's place, the population was entirely the default villagers with no trades...And to her frustration, no library.

"Fine, I'll just build one later..."

She then decided to do something different and make her house look like a tree in tribute to her old library, by growing trees around it to get a basic idea. She wanted spruce...but found the one spruce tree within easy access only dropped three saplings when she wanted four and had to go on a walk to the nearby mountain biome...and ended up with five. Her OCD forced her to go back and get exactly one more to have an even six.

She decided to mine for iron to make proper gear...and didn't find any as she went down until she'd already found emerald she couldn't mine and had to mine around it...and then hit a certain type of stone.

"Ah! Silverfish!" yelled Twilight as she ran right into a nest of Silverfish that instantly swarmed her because she didn't have a sword yet. After trying to fend them off with her hoof, she was left running out as they chased her all the way to the surface and having to let them drown in the river outside her mine.

As she made her way back to her base...

"AH!" She jumped with a shout as one of the saplings suddenly sprouted right in front of her while she was still a bit on edge with the Silverfish.

Going back down with a proper weapon and pick, she got the emeralds and decided to make things a bit more symmetrical from when she had to dig around it (unnerved by the sound of Silverfish that had spawned inside the walls...and found iron right there just one block out.

OOC: Decided to put Twilight's name into minecraft and try to play like her and this happened.

Session 96.2 Ardashir

"Say, 'Pretty_Princess'," Spike smirked as Smolder squirmed in her chair, "will the rest of the 'Student Six' be joining us?"

"Nah," Smolder said as she began casting all the buffing spells she could on everyone. She loved this game; it made her wish she could use magic in real life instead of just her boring old fire breath. "Stream has to visit with her family; Gallus just likes to watch and comment..."

"You got that right," a familiar griffon's voice said over the headset speakers. "Hey, we can't all be heroes. Someone has to stand on the sidelines and criticize so you don't get swelled heads."

"Anyway!" Smolder snorted as she cast her last few spells on Blackest_Flame. She knew it to be impossible but somehow the way the character jittered back and forth made Garble's in-game avatar look as jumpy as he could be in real life. "Sandbar and Yona are definitely not on a date, that's how they put it," she grinned as a few 'D'awwws' came through the connection, "and Ocellus is playing hide and go seek with Pavel and the pups."

"Uhh," Smolder could hear the confusion in Spike's voice. "Aren't Ocellus and the Wolves a little old for hide and seek?"

"Not really," Smolder finished her spellcasting in-game. She wondered if it took unicorns this long to do it. As she took her place behind the others, ready to cast spells to heal any damage taken by the turned-evil game's Garble, "Pavel and his pack need to learn how to hunt, and they say tracking Ocellus is difficult because of all the critters she can turn into. Confuses their smell or something. But they keep catching her, so Ocellus said she has a surprise for them."

Spike wondered what the surprise was.

An instant later the corrupted Garble was on them with a roar, swinging his axe, his stone elementals behind him.

***

"Ocellus is not funny!" Pavel struggled against the webbing binding him. The giant blue and pink spider finished with him and crawled back into its web, where it resumed watching him balefully. He snarled at her, baring fangs. "Ocellus just mad Pavel can catch bug-pony every time!"

The spider crawled along its web until it could poke at him with one claw. It must have liked what it felt, for it came closer, lightly prodding the Ice Wolf pup with its pedipalps. Beyond them fangs worked, dripping saliva. Pavel forced himself not to be afraid. He was just glad he knew this was Ocellus and not some Everfree monster!

"Pavel is not afraid of silly giant spider disguise!"

"What silly giant spider disguise?"

Pavel choked. He looked to one side and saw Ocellus there, looking confused. Her eyes went wide as she looked at the spider. She swallowed and took a step back. "Uh, Pavel? Th-that's not me!"

Pavel slowly turned and looked right into the spider's open jaws. It roared, fangs ready to rend.

The next instant Pavel somehow escaped his webbing cocoon, snatched Ocellus, and fled down the trail back to Ponyville with her and without crossing the intervening space. All he left behind was a fading series of panicked yips as he ran.

After they ended the spider turned back into Pharynx. He laughed. "Thorax may not want us use our powers like this, but Ocellus asked too nicely for me to say no. And scaring those silly wolves will never get old to me!"

Session 96.3 Mtangalion

The battle against the first raid boss wasn’t going so well. Each of the stone elementals split into two smaller ones when defeated, and soon vicious little pebble elementals were swarming everywhere. Then Garble the Fallen stopped pounding the tank and posed dramatically, axe raised to make a sweeping slash to his right.

“That looks bad!” shouted pony Shining Armor. “Everycreature, dodge!”

“Dodge what?” asked human Rainbow, still swinging away at the boss. Then an orange “Run away from the attack!” arc appeared on the floor… and disappeared almost immediately when Garble swung his axe, knocking half the raid back. “What the heck?! That was WAY too fast! There’s no way I could have run from that in time.”

The boss roared and struck another pose, ready to make a tremendous slash to his left.

“Never mind the warning markers on the floor!” yelled Sunset. “Can’t you see how he’s standing? He couldn’t possibly telegraph his attack more obviously!”

“Yikes!” Human Gilda sprinted away. “Yeah, I see it!”

Human Applejack blinked. “Oh, I get it now! He’s gonna…” Slash, BOOM! Half of the raid fell over, including her. “Do that...”

“Run away, run away!” yelled human Pinkie Pie in an Olde Griffish accent. Of course, she’d dodged both attacks while barely paying attention.

“Honestly,” said Princess Twilight, as they regrouped by the raid entrance. “It’s like you’ve never fought a giant monster before.”

“Hey, I totally fought a giant Equestrian killer plant in real life,” protested human Rainbow. “And Gloriosa too… But raid bosses in this game aren’t supposed to fight like that!”

Human Fluttershy gulped. “I guess... they do now.”

They were interrupted by Gallus on their voice comm, snickering. “You won’t believe this… Somebody’s bragging in the forums about how they totally messed up the first boss for some noobs by getting their own characters killed on purpose.”

“Really? I thought there was something fishy about those guys,” said human Shining Armor. “Good thing I already kicked them out of our raid group and reset the instance.”

Human Rainbow grinned. “Hah! Those guys must really be a bunch of morons!”

“I’ve allied myself with a bunch of morons!” bellowed Grogar, while Tirek, Cozy, and Chrysalis cowered behind their computer. “Spoiling a role-playing game that the heroes play for fun? Is that what passes for arch-villainy in this age?!”

“Hey, I milked that for years,” complained Chrysalis. Grogar glowered at her. “But… of course, that wasn’t my main plan!”

“Her main plans always fail miserably,” said Tirek to Cozy, ignoring Chrysalis getting more and more steamed beside him. “She should have stuck to annoying her foes to death!”

“Enough!” Grogar sighed heavily. “If you’re going to spend valuable time on this scheme of yours, then do a proper evil job of it!” He grinned cruelly, then zapped the computer with his magic, bringing up a blacklisted hacking website. “Order a DDOS attack on their game, so that no one can log in and play at all!”

Session 96.4 Mtangalion

Lord Tirek stared at Grogar, scratching his head. "Dee dee..."

Cozy Glow fluttered up to Grogar's eye level. "Golly gee, what's a DDOS? Is it magic spell?"

Chrysalis groaned, rolling her eyes. "A Distributed Denial of Service Attack is a potent spell indeed, for disrupting the imported human technology that those pathetic ponies so adore! Though I admit, I'm surprised that an ancient fossil like Grogar has heard of it."

Grogar snorted. "Did I not tell you before that I've spent millennia observing my enemies, laying my plans to defeat them and taking note of their every move!? It would do you well NOT to underestimate me!" He stamped his hoof hard enough to shake the very cavern, causing a closet door to creak open behind him... a closet which contained Grogar's bell, barely hidden by a few globs of changeling slime and an old newspaper.

"My eye sees all, knows all!" bellowed Grogar. "Nothing escapes my notice!" Grogar took note of the panicked look on Tirek and Chrysalis's faces and grinned wickedly. "At last, some proper respect!"

Behind him, Cozy Glow flapped her wings hard, straining to pull the bell out of the sticky slime and hide it. When it came loose, she went flying out of view with a crash... which caused Grogar to look over his shoulder, just in time to see nothing suspicious. Grogar snorted, annoyed by the distraction. "Arrange the attack as you see fit, but do not neglect your other assignments!"

"Gosh, that was a close one!" said Cozy, after Grogar had stalked away. She tried to set the bell down, but the slime stuck to one of her forehooves, then the other one when she pried the first loose.

Tirek glared at Chrysalis again. "Why, pray tell, did your idiot minion hide Grogar's accursed bell *here*?!"

Chrysalis hissed, grinding her fangs. "When I get my hooves on Glowworm, he'll be explaining that in gruesome detail!"

Session 96.5 Unown3

Prince Bramble was proud to look upon Everfree, protested from the axes of greedy ponies and minotaurs, the trees safe and sound.

The deer prince's ears flick. "That sounds like... somedeer singing while drunk?"

"Lalala-la-la!" Came a voice as a retro-50s spaceship flew down from the heavens... and smashed through several times obliterating them out of existence, the ship itself not hindered meaningfully, along with a few poor-misunderstood pony-eating "monsters" of Everfree, their carbon being absorbed in the "drunk" spaceman's storage bins... and then flew up back into the atmosphere, back into space, through a spacial rift, which closed behind it, never to return.

"That's... THAT NOT FAIR!!" Bramble stomped a hoof at the destruction with no means of retaliation.

(Inspired by something I saw from someone playing No Man's Sky Beyond, the guy wasn't actually drunk, but him singing and smashing his way through countless trees in his spaceship was too much! :-) )

Session 96.6 whitebearboy (Continued from 86.17)

"I got it! I know how to Spare Toriel now." said human Fluttershy triumphantly. She repeatedly hit the 'Spare' option until the motherly goat woman, at last, relented. "Yes, I did it!" Fluttershy cheered. "Aww, she's giving me a hug good-bye." she said, looking adoringly and a bit sadly at the screen as Toriel hugged her character before Fluttershy made the human child walk out the door behind Toriel and down the passage leading out of the Ruins. "Oh no, it's that horrible Flowey again!" she gritted her teeth as the evil flower taunted her about what she'd do if she met a relentless killer and again told her it was kill or be killed in this world. "Just you wait, I'm going to get through this place, and I'm not going to kill any monsters." Fluttershy said determinedly as Flowey called himself "the prince of this world's future" and sank back into the ground. Walking over the grassy mound the flower had been on, she walked her avatar out of the Ruins to find herself in a snowy forest. "Hmm, now how are there trees and snow underground?" she wondered as she made the human child proceed forward through the wintery woods.

Session 96.7 Unown3 and Mtangalion

"OUR QUEEN HAS LAID AN EGG! ThE ROYAL LINE IS SECURE! IT IS TIME FOR MUCH REJOICING!" Came the cries of griffin guards.

Gilda screeched, "YOU! YOU DID THIS TO ME!"

Gerold stood his ground, retreat was INVITING hostile pursuit in griffin culture, "Beautiful, YOU claimed ME, remember?"

Gilda replied, "Heh. Remember the time I went all mother hen?"

Gerold replied, "You're not gonna go crazy again, are you babe?"

"... Nah. Actually, I think I'm good." She gathered the egg to her flank to keep it warm. "It's funny... I've been making Griffonstone better because a sucky Griffonstone is an insult to our pride as griffons. But now..."

Gerold puts a wing around her. "Feels different, doesn't it?"

"Yeah..."

Gerold's mobile phone chirpped. "Uh... Don't explode or anything, but... there's photos of this on Preddit already."

Gilda lifted a paw and clenches her talons. "Oh really, now..."

There was a flash of light, an a teenage griffin appeared holding a scroll. "Prince Firebug was right! It worked!" He spotted Gilda with the egg. "Uhhh, I might have gone too far back... Just pretend you didn't see it alright!" She hid the scroll behind her back, and disappeared.

"Well, at least the Pink Dweep will know what color to make the cake," Gilda groaned. "Who am I kidding? She'd already know."

+++

The griffin reappeared where she started from.

"How'd it go?" Asked a purple earth pony mare with a smiling cherry apple cutie mark, standing next to her half sister.

"Overshot it Cherry Apple!"

+++

"Hey girls, hey Sunset, nice of you to visit, now that we know a whole buncha humans turned ponies won't result in the space-time continuum collapsing," Princess Twilight nodded.

Sunset Shimmer and the humane seven (plus Spike the Dog turned dragon), where in the Friendship Crystal Castle... along with human Flash Sentry. AND human Trixie had tagged along after much nagging ("I wanna learn more about real magic! I wanna I wanna I wannna!!!")

It was a large entourage, but pony Pinkie Pie had been prepared.

"So you're going too be supreme ruler of Equestria? I think Celestia and Luna would give you a century of breathing room before they returned. Heck, I'm surprised Luna is retiring after only what, nine years back? What was the point of her adjusting back to her duties to begin with?" Sunset asked.

"It doesn't make a lick of sense to me either, but if they want to retire there's not much I can do about it." Princess Twilight said. "Speaking of which, I'd like you girls to attend my coronation. You were as much a part of my growth and learning as anypony else!"

"Really? Thanks!" Sunset hugged Twilight. That was there as a glow from Sunset Shimmer... that spread the other Humane Seven, each one had a different glow from their chests. "Uh-oh."

"What do you mean 'uh-oh'?!" Princess Twilight exclaimed.

"Remember how the Element of Magic acted strange when taken to the human world?... I didn't really think how the geodes might act strange if brought to the pony world..."

Then the light from the humane seven... split in two... creating the geodes... and a new set of Element of Harmony.

Princess Twilight looked down, "Well... this is going to make my 'Elements of Harmony were destroyed' speech to the public awkward... Wait a minute, why are there SEVEN!?"

Indeed... there was now a SEVENTH Element of Harmony there.

Sunset grinned awkwardly. "I think... that's Empathy? Or Trust? I read up on in the forbidden library... it's a long story..."

"But... whose worthy of it?" Twilight found herself thinking. Her mind running through candidates. Spike? Starlight Glimmer? Trixie!? (Twilight dreaded the last one, Trixie's ego was big enough.)

"Well..." Sunset rubbed the back of her head. "I promise to try not to think any venomous 'it should have been mine!' thoughts like I did with Cadence, who I may or may not have been planning to 'make it look like an accident'... So yeah! We accept!"

"A pleasure!" Trixie grinned.

"Who said you were invited?" Human AJ asked.

"Princess Twilight didn't say I WASN'T invited!"

Princess Twilight of course, was WAAAAY too nice to 'uninvite' Trixie now that she'd assumed she already was.

"Really? Thanks!" Lemon Zest cheered, the other Shadowbolts behind her in pony form.

"WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?!" Sunset Shimmer exclaimed.

"Well, I've already invited Ponythulu (mostly because NOT sending an invite is MORE likely to cause a disaster, and inviting Dra-Gon of course would have been even worse), and Chrysalis' mother, so I guess the 'could have been friends, but squandered the chance' of my alternate self can too."

Sungar Coat said, "That's a fair description of us."

"Do you think there are some magical dodads out there for us to find?" Indigo Zap asked. She'd gone by that name for so long, had dyed her hair for so long, that calling herself 'Lightning Dust' felt awkward now.

++++

"How soon until they're ready?" Chrysalis asked, overlooking her swarm, hatched from her own eggs, pure and true changelings.

"THey'll be ready for battle soon my queen," Locust bowed his head. The changelings performing matching martial arts moves. Also playing a changeling vs ponies first person shooter with a maps of Canterlot and Ponyville, taking turns playing as attackers AND defenders, so they'd know the battle inside and out once it came.

"But my queen, shouldn't we worry that playing the other side in a first person shooter will normalize the enemy and make the changelings more receptive to their point of view?"

"That is the most banal, insane, paranoid, pathetic, and childish idea I have heard in my life, and doesn't deserve anymore exposure than that!" Chrysalis struck an indignant pose.

Meanwhile, at Twilight's castle, both Pinkie Pies felt their bodies shudder and and ear flops... They looked at each other and echoed, "Someone who really really hates us just said something that we'd totally agree with? Yeah." Then 'human' Pinkie Pie said. "Hey! Gummy's alive now!"

Meanwhile, Chrysalis' other two children, one 'Chrysalis-lite-wannabe' filly and one 'too pudgy for his own good' colt, ran around the track provided for them, the changeling coach whipping them into shape, LITERALLY.

"On our break can we whip you?" Asked the pudgy colt huffing and puffing.

"Nope."

"Not fair!"

Little Papa watched and clapped, sticking literally to her mother's side.

"My queen! I have a gift for you!" Said Glowworm, eager to redeem himself from his queen's fury.

He pushed what LOOKED LIKE the mane six at first glance to their knees before Chrysalis, except their cutie marks and coloring were off. And around their necks were black collars with emeralds.

Mean Twilight looked in impotent fury at the queen.

"No games this time," Chrysalis hissed. "From now on, you all do, as I ORDER YOU TO do... slaves."

Green lightning went from the collar all over Mean Twilight's body she collasped to the floor. "... Yes... Your Majesty." Mean Twilight said through clenched teeth, tears of rage in her eyes. "NEVER AGAIN!" She quickly grabbed a spear and tried to run herself through it... only for the shock of the collar to stop her.

"No," Chrysalis said simply. "You don't die until I say you die!"

The other Mean Six cowered in horror.

"I'm not scared at all," Mean AJ said.

Mean Rarity, who had been born wanting everything, now had nothing, even her own life wasn't hers to possess. She hugged herself.

"Yes... my queen..." Mean Twilight said, her eyes hidden by her mane.

-

In a fortress city in a realm of darkness and shadows... a donkey gasped as the image of Grogar appeared on a magic mirror.

"MASTER! Is it time?!"

"Not yet... but soon... Tambleon is will return to Equestria, and with it our might. Equestria will never know what hit it!"

"I will have everything ready master! I swear!" Bray bobbed his head up and down. "Your army and monsters will be set like a crossbow bolt to strike at the heart of the ponies!"

"DEATH TO EQUESTRIA! CHAINS, THE ROCK, AND THE LIGHTNING TO THE PONIES!" Called the forces waiting outside Grogar's palace.

-

Grogar repeated a ritual he'd done before... and again, King Sombra came forth... except this time... There was the collar around his neck, with an eye fashioned gem around it. Sombra cried out as he tried to use his magic.

"If you want to kill me and take my power all for yourself, become stronger." Grogar said simply. "No loyalties to confuse, and let your desire to kill me make your stronger... But I know you hate the Crystal Ponies far more than you hate me. Though I do promise... promise the Crystal Empire will be the Umbrum's to bring despair onto the crystal ponies who persecuted your kind."

King Sombra did what he'd never done to anyone but his mother Rabia, he bowed.
_

"And that should do it!" Cozy Glow said, having finished a cursed unholy symbol drawn in red on the cavern floor.

"And what is that about?" Tirek asked.

"Just calling in some family," Cozy Glow.

"What? Let me guess, a cookie baker and a stuffed bear maker?"

"Oh no," Cozy Glow shook her head not losing her cheerful demeanor. "I'm not exactly a pony. My father was a demon in equine form that carried the First King of Evil on his back, and my mother was a jackal diamond dog. So I don't really have a drop of pony blood in me."

A ring of fire appeared and dark figured appeared.

"Hiii!" Cozy Glow waved at her own kind.

-

"So... interested in revenge?" Came Grogar's message over video chat.

"We've tried revenge twice already, and it failed," Aria Blaze said. "What can you offer us that OUR OWN GOD couldn't?"

"The oceans will be yours again to freely explore, your homes will be yours again, the sirens will rule the oceans. And Dra-Gon and Hydra will be the only god worshipped beneath the waves."

++++

"Thanks for helping with my custody case for Scootaloo Starlight," Rainbow Dash said.

"You came to the right mare. I have a lot of legal experiences... it's how my family wasn't sued into oblivion in a civil case by all the families of my converts."

"Didn't Twilight's 'work release' thing take care of that?"

"A legal trial is different from a civil trial Rainbow Dash."

"Oh."

+++

"Hey Discord," Apple Bloom shouted. "We want your help!"

"You WANT the help of the god of chaos? Okay, this is interesting enough for me this time... " The fact Discord's games had FAILED to give the CMC their cutie marks that one time had remained a smudge on his record, and he was eager to balance it out SOMEHOW.

"With Dash fighting to keep me as her adopted filly," Scootaloo said. "It made me realize. Me, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle... it's like our adventures happen in a completely separate universe or something! ... We're hoow Cozy Glow GOT INTO the Friendship School to begin with... but it was Smolder and the rest who actually stopped her. All we did was get stuck in a closet. And... well..."

"WE'RE SICK OF BEING USELESS IN EMERGENCIES!" Sweetie Belle shouted. "Our big sister risk their lives all the time, we've grown up more, but we still can never contribute anything, even when it was OUR OWN MESS TO CLEAN UP! And when the bad guy was ANOTHER FILLY! We... We want your help so next time the bad guys cause trouble... we can actually help."

"ME TOO!" Button Mash said with a smile. "I heard human me got to do all sorts of cool stuff! I want to be able to do cool stuff too!"

"Me three..." Diamond Tiara said, dragging Silver Spoon along for the ride.

"Me four I guess," Silver Spoon said.

Session 96.8 sonicandmario826

Grogar set up similar ruins as he did with Sombra only a pile of shattered stones seemed to be in them. Grogar used his magic to summon the Staff of Sacanas brimming with the magic of the Storm King.

The magic of the ruins brought the pieces of stone together forming the figure of the Storm King. His face still showed the fear he felt when he turned to stone and before he took his last fall. Grogar places the staff in on of the statue’s hand and magic began crackling around the statue. The statue’s eyes shined blue and the statue began cracking.

The Storm King broke through his statue prison laughing, clutching the staff, and shooting lighting from it as he laughed.

Grogar interrupted his laughing, “If you want to reclaim the kingdom you lost and revenge on Twilight and her friends then join me and we’ll crush them beneath our hooves.”

“Sound great pops, but I’m kind of a free agent. Don’t really go for the villain teamup-“ he was quickly interrupted when Grogar used his magic to bring him up to his face and his eyes glowed a deep red.

“Join me, or you’ll wish you were broken to pieces again!!!” Grogar snarled.

The Storm King was shaken, “Right... right. But *ahem* if we’re going to do this I have to go get some of my men. Not all of them were the poor misunderstood types who want to frolic with prissy ponies.”

Session 96.9 Ardashir

In her room at the Friendship School, Alisa shook the prison-ball she'd imprisoned Sombra's soul in. She sniffed at it and recited every spell she knew. Nothing. The Diamond Wolf whimpered in fear.

Who could have snatched the Crystal Tyrant away from her trap?

Who was that powerful?

***

"Hey, Decepticolt!" Zappityhoof pointed at her computer screen. "Look at this. Someone is 'asking' us to interfere in World of Horsecraft."

"Didn't we have enough trouble with that?' Goldcap grumbled. Then her eyes focused on the message on her screen, as well as the payment. They went wide. "Maybe second time's the charm?"

"For what this guy is offering," Decepticolt rubbed her hands together in glee, "I'm ready to take a chance!"

***

"Okay! Dodge again!"

Applejack and the other front line fighters moved out of the corrupted Garble's range as he swung his axe. They had his attack pattern now.

"Now rush him!"

The charged in and sent their best attacks home. Garble roared, stumbled, dropped his axe...

And the screen suddenly cut to luridly pornographic images intermingled with shots of butchered horses.

"GAAH!" The scream rose as one from the players on both sides of the mirror, along with gagging sounds here and there.

"Urrgh!" Garble spat to the side, his spittle hissing as it ate into the stone floor. "Even when I hated ponies and wanted to level Equestria, I didn't think of doing stuff like that!" He tuned away from the computer screen and raced for a handy bucket.

"What the hay?" Dash tried to get away from the screen but couldn't. "We were about to win!"

"Is this somepony's sick joke?" Rarity turned paler than usual at some of what she saw before she threw a sweater over her computer screen. "What kind of depraved mind comes up with things like this?"

"What?!?" Sunset did some quick checking. Beside her Sci-Twi joined in, brow furrowed as she ran through every diagnostic and checked every security feature she had. Sunset did the same, and after several moments sank back, temporarily defeated. She said over the headset, "Guys, this is happening to everyone online with the game, not just us! Someone is doing a cyberattack on CrystalSoft!"

Spike, both Spikes groaned. "Can this possibly get any worse?" He flinched as multiple voices from several different species yelled,"Don't say it!"

And then it did get worse.

A new screen opened up on the site, listing the contact information for every single member of both groups. And as it did a voice-over said, "Hey, kiddies! Maybe now you'll get out of your mom's basement and get some fresh air! And if not, well, if you must know who's to blame for losing this sorry excuse for a real life, here are their names and addresses! You might want to tell them how you feel about it. Toodles!"

"Guys," Sunset called over her headset, "everyone get offline before --" She slumped as she saw the hits coming in from angry gamers. Dozens, then hundreds, then thousands.

"Too late."

Session 96.10 Mtangalion

Outside the Crusader Clubhouse, Discord flinched, feeling his fur standing on end. “Wait, wait just a moment now…” He pointed a claw at the Cutie Mark Crusaders and their friends. “You’re all resolved to help, to WIN the coming battles.” He counted out six claws on just his eagle paw somehow. “And there’s six of you!” The draconequus paced in midair. “I did not see this coming so soon. Not I would have… actually planning for the future is so dull…”

Apple Bloom blinked. “Um… you didn’t see what coming?”

“Can you help us?” asked Button Mash earnestly. “I can spend a Discord Favor if it’ll help!”

“Oh, we’ve gone far beyond favors,” muttered Discord. He cleared his throat. “Funny story! Not so long ago, the talking monkey version of you…” He raised his lion paw, holding up an image of the human Button Mash. “Became a virtual god of gaming in an augmented reality world! When that world ended, the power didn’t just go away, oh no. It found the nearest compatible magical host. You.”

Button’s eyes widened. “M-me?!”

“Yes, YOU!” Discord laughed and threw his arms wide. “And you didn’t even notice! Now that was a fine joke indeed! The trouble is… Well, let’s just say that once your pocket monster evolves, you can’t go on keeping it crammed in your pocket for very much longer. I sealed you once…” He snapped his claws, getting only a few sparks. “But with the end of canon fast approaching, that’s not going to work again!”

A strange breeze started to gust, and thunder rumbled… from a clear blue sky. Discord whipped out a PKE meter, and it immediately beeped, lighting up like a Hearth’s Warming tree. “And considering the storm of Harmony that’s about to be unleashed, I urgently need to be elsewhere. See you soon!” Discord rolled himself up like a window shade and vanished.

Button Mash lifted a foreleg, rubbing his belly. “Girls? I feel…”

Sweetie Belle rushed to his side. “You don’t feel so good?!”

“No, actually I feel... excited!” said Button. “Like I’m about to break a record high score!”

The wind gusted hard, lifting the foals off the ground. “Whoa!” cried Diamond.

“Hey!” shouted Silver Spoon, trying in vain to keep her hair from getting mussed.

Scootaloo spread her wings, surfing the breeze. “Cool!”

With a snap-flash of rainbow magic, brand new Crusader cloaks appeared on each of the girls, and a magic seal appeared on the grass below them, with Button Mash’s D-Pad cutie mark in the center and the other five cutie marks in a circle around it. Button’s propeller beanie spun faster and faster until everything whited out.

Then the storm was gone, and the foals all dropped to the ground, grunting or rolling to one side, except for Scootaloo, who glided down… and Button Mash, who hovered down until his hooves gently touched the earth.

“Um, girls?” Button asked shakily. “What just happened?” His small horn sparked, and colt-sized wings unfurled from his flanks. Oblivious, he opened his game window from a previous Discord Favor and started paging through different screens. “Did we get a stat upgrade?”

“WHAT!?” bellowed Diamond. “Why does he… and I didn’t… Daddy always said that *I’m* his little princess!”

Silver hid her smile with a hoof. “You know you don’t have to be the first at everything, Di. Just the best.”

Sweetie Belle still hadn’t picked her jaw up off the ground.

Discord reappeared with a sombrero and a lively Mexicolt mariachi band. “First!” He pinched Button’s cheeks. “This time, I get to say it! Welcome to the world, Isthmia, Prince of Gaming! Ooh, I can sing you a song too and really steal Celestia’s thunder.”

“What are you talking about Discord?” asked Button. “Prince of… huh?” The newly minted Alicorn colt froze, then fluttered his wings and touched his horn. Then he clapped his hooves to his cheeks, cried “Auuuuuugh!!” and passed out.

Session 96.11 Wolfram-and-Hart (with a minor edit)

"Perfect." There was a flash and a naisly voiced stallion in a suite and glasses appeared, flanked by two bulky pegasi. "Now he'll be easier to deal with."

"Who are these guys?" Scootaloo asked.

"Trouble." Discord sneered.

"I am Red Tape. These are my enforcers, Cease and Desist."

"These jokers were originally guardians of the various worlds like the wolfy buddy another Sweetie Belle's knows. But then became too obsessed with hoarding their own world and keeping even the smallest likeness of anything from one world appearing in another." Discord glared at the offending entities in pony form. "Then, Morning Star ended up championing their cause and reforged them into Creation's first lawyers. I can't tell you how many timelines they've stagnated with their unyielding greed for ideas that they consider their property. They once tried to have the Elders erase a timeline because they thought it stole the concept for a single being."

"And now it ends. With the finale coming, we are not missing this chance to expunge this imperfection any longer." Red Tape looked at the unconscious new alicorn. "This being was never meant to be in this capacity, and we're sending him to Entropy now before he wrecks anything else."

'But he's an alicorn! You can't erase him without erasing a whole concept of reality! Isn't that against what you're trying to protect?!" Diamond demanded. "Wait, how do I know that?"

Red Tape shook his head. "No, we are trying to protect what's OURS! Your reality is not our concern."

"I won't let you take him!" Sweetie Belle stood in front of Button Mash.

"Fine, we'll get rid of you too." Red Tape motioned for Cease and Desist to take action.

"I think you might want to reconsider." The fillies and Discord turned to see Button Mash stand up and glare at the offending ponies.

"I'm not reconsidering anything. You need to be dealt with."

"You don't want to do this." Button Mash repeated.

"If you don't come quietly, we'll sue to get this whole timeline erased. You're making a big mistake." Red Tape said, taking an intimidating step forward.

"Well, so are you! You just got a new god mad!" Without another word, Button's horn ignited and zapped the three intruders right off their hooves. "Whoa, pretty cool, huh? The New Alicorn tutorial in my head told me how to do that! A good game always plays fair, and gives the player hints for a tough boss fight. I thought you three looked familiar, and now I know why! You're ripoffs of other characters yourselves!"

"W-what?!" Red Tape gasped. "That's impossible! We're the guardians of intellectual property! We've always existed!"

"Then, explain this to me." Button turned to Discord. "Can you open a window to dimension 9F02?"

"Um, OK." Discord frowned in confusion and ripped a hole open in space and time.

The ponies, draconequess and otherworldly entities looked through the portal and were shocked to see yellow hairless monkeys that looked exactly like Red Tape, Cease and Desist having a conversation about copyright with an elementary school principal about a line in a school fair banner.

"You three are rip offs of thse three from that dimension. You're even more guilty of what you've been accusing other timelines of doing!" Button Mash grinned.

"But... but... but we have to protect our property!" Red Tape whined.

"Ideas aren't meant to belong to one pony forever. If every idea for a story was as hoarded away as you want, there'd never be another story ever. What matters is what you do with the story." Button Mash glared at the three self proclaimed guardians. "Now, get out of my universe!"

A pixelated sword appeared in Button's hoof. With a loud barttle cry, that sounded less cool than it did in his head, he swung the sword and the magic blast sent the three primoridial lawyers flying out of their timeline.

Button Mash, Isthmia, Prince of Gaming smugly sheathed the sword. "Copyright expired."

Session 96.12 Unown3

"DISCORD HAVE YOU GONE CRAZY?! I MEAN! Ugh! Have you gone from crazy to stupid?! You turned Button Mash into an Alicorn?! A COLT?!" Princess Twilight demanded. "We're dealing with someone who just sabotaged the WoH servers and pinned the blame on Sunset and our friends and the rest of our party! It's been nothing but hate mail!"

"I didn't turn him into an Alicorn, that's beyond my power believe it or not. Enjoy that Twilight, because that's the only time in admitting I can't do something! If I could, you'd have SIX new underage Alicorns running around right now! Blame the sirens and their 'argument reality, transform the town into more sirens' scheme! All the power that THAT world's Button Mash gained had to go somewhere after the augmented reality shut down."

"I hate to say it... but shouldn't it have gone to the human world Button Mash? Not that that would have actually been better, but still..."

"What can I say? When you flushed the system of all that siren magic, some got swept along for the ride. The CMC+3 want to be useful next time villains strike, and Button Mash happened to be the one who was a sealed Alicorn."

"WHAT villains? We're redeeming villains left and right... which is... kinda getting a little scary and strange... like Starlight Glimmer was sneaking out and hunting them down and brainwashing them to be redeemed when nobody was watching."

Starlight Glimmer's eyes shifted with a nervous grin. "Now Twilight's, that's just silly. Why wouldn't a dragon who swore to plunder Equestria and burn it to the ground really just have a tough guy act to hide his sensitive side?"

Session 96.13 Ardashir

Later that day, deep in the Friendship Dungeon, Starlight Glimmer stood before Sludge, Clump, Fume, and Fizzle. The four dragons stared at her, their pupils shrunk to pinpricks, as her horn glowed in spellcasting.

"Fiducia compellus, cogeria, and persuaderi," Starlight furrowed her brow as she worked the spell. The dragons slumped as the spells worked on their minds. Starlight smiled to see them relaxing. "There! Worked with Garble, it worked with you."

"Yes, Mistress Glimmer," the four mumbled. "Command us, Mistress Glimmer."

Starlight preened for a second before catching herself. "Ahem! First of all, no more 'Mistress Glimmer'. You'll act normally except when it conflicts with my commands alright?" She thought back to earlier events with Twilight's friends. "Yeah, I learned my lesson there. Okay, now all of you, behave yourselves from now on, alright? No eating the castle, no fighting with ponies, treat others with respect and don't be ashamed of your artistic side." She turned to walk away and hesitated, "Eh what do dragons do for art? Besides poetry, I mean."

All four answered as one. "Fire breathing competitions!"

"Uh!" Starlight gulped. "Okay, maybe not so much on the art. But obey my other commands, and --"

She fell silent as Spike entered the room. "Oh, so this is where you guys are? Twilight told me to tell you to clean the upstairs bathrooms, and..." He looked at them and Starlight, eyes narrowing in suspicion. "Wait. What are you doing down here?"

"Us? Heh, what we're doing?" Starlight gulped and suddenly, "Dragon games! That's it!"

"Dragon games?" Spike scratched his head. "What dragon games?"

"Oh, Clump is going to show me," Starlight pointed over her withers at the brown scaly lump. He looked dully at her. She turned and faced him, "Okay, Clump. Show me a dragon game."

"Okay. How about Dragon Thump?"

"Dragon Thump?" Starlight blinked. "Okay. Show it to me."

"Dragon." Clump raised one claw as he spoke, holding it over her head. He made a fist ad slammed it into the top of her head. "Thump!"

Spike walked over to Starlight where she lay on the floor after the konk on the head. "Uhh, you okay?" Starlight feebly nodded. He left, and the other four followed him out.

"Note for the future," Starlight groaned as she lay there. "No command spell is foolproof."

Session 96.14 Mtangalion

Starlight Glimmer cast a headache cure spell on herself, followed by a healing spell for the bump on her head, quickly regaining her confidence. “Once again, magic fixes everything!” The unicorn trotted smugly towards the Friendship Dungeon’s exit. “I really don’t see why Twilight and the others make such a big deal out of…”

A scaly red paw slammed against the crystal wall, making Starlight squeak and jump back. “So!” roared Garble, barring her way. “Back when you chanted all those fancy words at *me*, you weren’t just making a lame joke. You really were trying to magic me into a namby-pamby pony-lover!” He glowered down at her, snorting foul-smelling soot. “I should teach you a lesson right now about what happens when you mess with dragons!”

Starlight backpedaled, her heart racing. “You… you shouldn’t remember that!” She charged her horn for an instant random teleport.

“Nope, no you don’t!” said Garble, quickly reaching out and flicking her horn to disrupt the spell. Apparently, even he could learn a thing or two, hanging around ponies long enough. “We’re not done talking, ‘Glim Glam.’”

Starlight closed her eyes and shouted the first thing she could think of that might save her. “I order you not to touch me! Or harm me! Or whatever else you’re thinking of doing to me, you scaly brute!” She peeked an eye open. “Eeep!”

… as the scaly red brute… patted her on the nose. Garble grinned toothily. “Boop.”

Starlight’s legs trembled until she had to sit her hindquarters down. “Wha… Bwah… No, no… Think!” She did a passive magical scan, and her eyes widened. “My mind control failed because you were already under a stronger mind control spell!” She furrowed her brow, analyzing. “Not pony magic… feels more like… of course!” Starlight pointed a hoof. “Dragon Lord Ember must have used the Bloodstone Scepter on you when she made you ambassador, ordering you to be nice to ponies!”

Garble blinked, seeming momentarily dumbfounded. “That’s not…” He coughed into a fist. “I mean… Yeah, you’re pretty smart! You totally figured it out! Ahem… Let that be a lesson to you, and stuff! I’ll be keeping an eye on you, pony!”

A little later, Spike was happily occupied in his room, sorting and cataloging his hoard… er, comic book collection. He glanced up, hearing the door open. “Hey, Garble! I just got the Dragon Morphers annual issue! Wanna… Huh?”

Without a word, Garble hoisted Spike into the air and gave him a great big hug, patting the smaller dragon on the back before putting him down again. “Heh, sounds fun. We can laugh about how they get everything about dragons wrong.”

Spike blinked. “Dude! Uh, what was that for?”

Garble winked. “I’m not supposed to say. Duh!”

“Wait, you don’t mean…” Spike giggled. “Is that command I gave you when I was the Dragon Lord still on you? I’ll talk to Ember. I’m sure she can remove it.”

Garble froze, then waved his paws. “Wha? No, don’t do that, Spike! Really, I’m fine with it now!” Garble grinned sharply, fangs gleaming. “In fact… I can honestly say I’m a better dragon today because of it.”

Session 96.15 (somewhat adult humor, well, 'adult', anyway, inspired by something I actually saw on a No Man's Sky video.)

"Wow! This update to No Mare's Sky is something else! The VR is great!" Spike said excitedly.

Twilight said, "According to this update patch, they've also made the animals more realistic too."

"Really?" Spike said looking upwards as he stood underneath a weird lizard creature with just two legs as it shook its body a little and shook its tail.

-

"SPIKE! Come out there! Trixie needs her beauty bath!"

"Spike! It was virtual reality! Not real! It didn't even HAVE touch or smell!" Twilight exasperated.

"I can feel it on me!" Spike scrubbed until his scales gleamed and Rarity had to wear sunglasses to look at his frame.

Session 96.16 Mtangalion with a bit by me

Boom! “Waaaaagh!” Thud, bam bam BAM!

The small herd of fillies raced through the outskirts of Sweet Apple Acres, following the trail of trees that had a certain colt’s silhouette punched through them. Apple Bloom groaned. “Where the heck is Button flyin’ to now?”

“Straight towards Ponyville!” shouted Scootaloo. “I’ll head him off!” The orange filly buzzed her wings as she galloped, almost lifting off, but then she fell behind, gasping for air. “Why can’t I… Oh, right!” Scootaloo tapped her pink hoofband twice, and magic flashed, transforming her back into a young dragoness who easily took to the air. “Woohoo!”

Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. “Who else thinks that Miss Starlight should have mind-controlled Scootaloo into doing her physical therapy exercises, instead of building her a magic cheat bracelet?”

Scootaloo the dragoness doubled back and hovered over them, arms folded impishly. “Hey, it’s not a cheat! I’m just… um… effectively using every available resource! Like Daring Do when she found that garden with the cursed statues in Daring Do and the Curse of Carnival Cat! Besides, it’s not like I’m the only one having flying issues.”

At that moment, Button Mash went rocketing past them, fast enough to whip all their manes and leaving a pixelated rainbow in his wake. “Ahh, I can’t stop! Everypony, watch out!”

Discord appeared in a flash. “Oh, for love of…” He snapped his fingers, and Button bounced off the Ponyville Spa instead of smashing through. He bounced off building after building, making them go “Ping!” and light up like a pinball machine, until the little Alicorn colt finally skidded to a stop.

Discord appeared next to Button in another flash, now dressed as a stern police-human from the world beyond the portal mirror. “Young pony, do you have any idea how fast you were going?”

Sweetie Belle reached Button next, grasping his hoof to help him up. “Are you okay? Button, what happened to the Alicorn tutorial in your head that you talked about?”

Button Mash blushed. “Well, the section on flying just says ‘Have fun trying all the different maneuvers you discover.’ So yeah, classic useless help guide...”

A winged shadow fell over them all, and Princess Twilight landed. “Button Mash?” Her eyes widened, seeing that yes, he did have a colt-sized horn in front of his propeller beanie, and matching wings. “Wow, it’s really strange being on the other end of this. Wait… I don’t have to sing you a song, do I? Oh no, I don’t have anything prepared!”

“Don’t worry,” said Silver Spoon, smirking. “Discord already took care of that.”

Button chuckled. “Yeah, it was great! It had lots of accordions and silly noises!”

Apple Bloom shrugged. “Cheese Sandwich helped.”

“Riiight,” said Twilight. “Normally, I wouldn’t put you on the spot so soon, but Discord said that you’re the Alicorn of Gaming now, and… I can’t believe I’m saying this… our World of Horsecraft friends are really in a jam.”

Button Mash struck a dramatic pose, and the “Quest accepted!” sound effect played from nowhere. “You can count on me, Princess Twilight! Um…” He twitched his wings. “But maybe we should *walk* to your castle.”

Twilight said, "Don't worry, I know all about this sort of thing."

FLASH BACK! Soon after Twilight's ascension.

"Oh what a cute kitty Fluttershy!" Twilight patted the kitten on the head, her new Earth Pony Strength accidentally making her knock the insanely cute kitten not just through the table, but creating a hole in the floor! "Uh, whoops?" Twilight said awkwardly and inching back as Fluttershy gave her the death glare.

"You mean your trouble flying?" Button Mash asked.

"Yes, totally my trouble flying," Princess Twilight said with a rigid grin.

Session 96.17 Ardashir

As the ponies and others waited for World of Horsecraft to be repaired, they sought other forms of amusement.

For Spike, that meant his pulp magazines.

"'The insectoid abomination laughed as her loyal chitinous minions, looking nothing like those tootie-fruitie traitors, transformed into innocent ponies, the innocent ponies whose life force they had devoured!'" Spike couldn't help it, he imitated her evil laugh. "'Now, my monstrous servitors', she rubbed her claws together greedily,' we shall conquer and consume all of Equestria!' They left her presence as she returned to her usual form of Princess Cada --" Spike shuddered as he heard familiar hoofsteps coming down the hall.

"Spike! Where are you, I need you to help me, we may have found a solution to the Horsecraft problem." Twilight trotted through the Friendship Palace, a still confused Button Mash close behind. Students stared in shock at the sight of an alicorn colt as Twilight called, "SPIKE! You better not be looking at those trashy magazines again!"

"Wuuah!" The little dragon leaped into the air and breathed fire, sending the magazine flying off. The last he saw of it was the cover with the words Witch Queen of the Invisible Empire vanish into a ball of green fire. He faceclawed. "Oh, man! The special collector's issue too! Maybe I can get it back from Princess Celestia later --" His voice died in his throat as a glow of purple magic picked him up.

He turned in mid-air to face a frowning Twilight.

"You were reading those trashy things again?!?" She snorted, scraping the floor with one forehoof. "Spike, I told you to stay away from them! Those things will rot your mind, they're so unrealistic." She turned and trotted out, Spike floating behind her and the alicorn Button Mash following. "Now come on, we're going to be using Button Mash's alicorn gamer pony magic to restore a clear connection with the human world I visit through the magic mirror so we can play a computer game that somehow near-perfectly mimics our lives." Spike struggled to escape. "No you don't! You need to spend some time doing normal things."

***

Elsewhere, Queen Chrysalis sniffed as she broke the weakening magical connection with the little dragon. "Ugh, I established that years ago to spy on him and them and I keep forgetting about it. Now whenever I do look he's reading comics, playing games, or studying 'how to be a dragon' with those new scaly pets of Twilight's." She sighed. "But at least someone is enjoying my stories."

"You write for pulp magazines?" Cozy Glow looked like she was about to die laughing.

Chrysalis sniffed. "I've been locked out of the Hive's bank accounts set up behind false fronts, I have to make some bits somehow."

Session 96.18 Unown3

BEEP-BEEP-BEEP!! BEEP! BEEP-BEEP-BEEP!! BEEP!

"Uh oh!"

"What do you mean 'uh oh', Doctor?" Roseluck had learned 'uh oh' with the Doctor was never a good thing.

"Oh, uh! Nothing! Just this cute little universe has gone off its cute little axis, and lost its cute little connection to its cute little mother universe, resulting in a causality divergence both retroactive and progressive."

"Uh, in Equine?"

"I was speaking Equine! And I'm saying that this universe, has lost its metaphysical tether to the primary universe that spawned it. Meaning that it's no longer connected directly to the events that do or do not happen in the primary universe! Meaning anything can happen! Anything COULD HAVE happened! Retroactively!"

"Oh."

Session 96.19 Unown3 and Ardashir

"Speaking of making ends meet," Chrysalid said. "WORK FASTER SLAVES! These hentai manegas need to be on the streets of Neighpon on Monday!" Chrysalis cracked the whip.

Mean Pinkie Pie hunched over an artist's table, "On our break can we whip you?"

"NO!" WHIP!

Meaniejack exasperated, "Well, Ah certainly ain't confused by this here description!"

Mean Twilight cringed in disgust, "What kind of walleyed chimp wrote this description? It makes no sense at all! Not even those creepy hikkikomori could get aroused by this!"

Chrysalis: "Hah! Shows how much you know! I got a lot of meals at those manega cons this way!" Chrysalis transformed into OH SWEET INARI WHAT IS THAT?!?

The Mean Six vomited all over their tables.

"That's coming out of your pay."

"You aren't paying us!" MeanShy snapped.

"Then I suggest you hurry before I find other way to make you pay!" WHIP!

Session 96.20 Unown3

Cozy Glow asked, "So you have family members all named after dark emotion and vices? Rage? Hatred? AKA Ira and Rabia?"

"My little sister and my mother yes," Sombra nodded, still hoofing at the collar around his neck. "With the power of my whole family, Equestria would be conquered in a day."

Chrysalis said, "Don't trust him, one Umbrum is dangerous enough. His entire diseased family tree would reduce Equestria to a wasteland of despair, my children can't feed on despair."

--

Mean Dash grunted as she was carried on a stretcher, okay, dragged more than carried, and the hard stone floor than a stretcher. She was worked on the small minority of changelings trained as medics in Chrysalis' new army... Getting her back into tip top shape, okay, more like patched back together, and made to be a glorified punching bag for Chrysalis' new brood of minions. She'd inherited the 'real' Rainbow Dash's fighting prowess, making her perfect 'practice' for the changeling army. Over, and over, and over, and OVER!

--

"Didn't a couple evil doubles of us move into that creepy old house on the edge of town?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Meh, I bet they went on some cross country quest to find themselves, or something."

--

In Manehatten, Clone Pinkie Pie held up a sign, 'Welcome Fellow Uniquely Born Ponies!' but there was no sigh of the Mean Six.

--

Meanie Pie fell to the ground, huffing and puffing. Chrysalis' overweight son gave her a sharp kick to the ribs. "More!"

Meanie Pie pushed herself up, made to carry the heavy weight of the spoiled Changeling Prince around around and around around...

Meanjack said matter of fact, "Mom is so totally gonna let us live once she's done with us."

Mean Twilight snarled, "You think I don't know that! I hate that bi-" The collar shocked her with green lightning. "I serve our Master." She hissed through clenched teeth.

--

"Hi guys!" Gabby waved landing at the CMC's club house. "Ready for the first Annual CMC gaming marathon? ... Where's Sweetie Belle's coltfriend?"

"Fixing some big computer trouble in another universe," Scootaloo said matter of fact.

"... Scootaloo... why are you a dragon?"

"Has to do with Dash's custody battle against my neglective biological family."

"Oh. Uh.... By the way, is this really you guys?" Gabby took out an old Foal Freepress ... with gossip articles by Gabby Gums.

"That... was not one of our better times," Apple Bloom admitted.

"Or mine..." Diamond Tiara sighed.

"Were you really a bad guy? You don't seem the bad guy types."

Discord meanwhile saw the meeting and clapped.

Discord cackled, "And that makes number seven. Now we have the whole herd. Seven creatures with seven virtues."

"Hi, you gonna see this movie too? Seems like we're gonna be the only people in the threater, I'm Gabby, you guys are?"

"Uh, Ah'm Apple Bloom, this is Sweetie Belle, and this here is Scootaloo."

Session 96.21 Ardashir

"YEEEOWWW!" Grubber ran into Tempest's room as fast as his short little legs could carry him. The Yetis around him, former members of the Storm King's army, almost jumped put of his way as he raced past shrieking. He headed right for a dais on which Tempest sat facing three gray-furred Yetis, clan elders in ornately embroidered robes of honor. "Tempest! We gotta problem! A BIG problem!"

"Grubber!" He froze as Tempest snorted at him. She stomped one hoof against the wooden floor, sending an echo through the hall. "Not now! I'm at a very delicate moment with the Clan Tsobyang leaders." She turned back to them and set her marble down on the board between them. As she did she whispered to Grubber, "The Tsobyang believe this is the same game played between Father Old Monkey and the ogress he mated with to produce their ancestors. By playing it I'm showing respect for their customs and..."

She froze in disbelief as a familiar voice spoke behind her.

"Bleah, bleah, bleah, respect their customs, like pretty prissy ponies care about junk like that." She turned where she sat, her blood running cold, to see someone she thought dead standing there. "You know, Tempest, when I accepted your loyalty I didn't put you through all this nonsense. It was enough that you could do your job..."

"No," Tempest whispered as her eyes narrowed. Grubber tried to hide behind her. "You're dead. I saw you die!"

"And that you were loyal," the Storm King waved his hand as he made chuckled in mockery. Al around stunned Yetis were falling to their knees, knocking head against the floor before they leaped to their feet and waved their arms over their heads in victory. The Storm King clasped his hands and shook them over his head like a boxer after winning his championship. The Tsobyang Yetis redoubled their cheers. Then he looked back at Tempest, all trace of amusement gone. "But you weren't loyal, and you didn't do your job, did you?"

"You were a monster, a tyrant," Tempest pointed her horn at him. It sparked wildly. "I won't let you attack Equestria again!" Her ears pinned as he laughed uproariously.

"Let me? You think you can stop me?" He rubbed his chin, looking thoughtful. "But still, I gotta prove to my people that I have what it takes. So tell ya what," he knuckled her by her horn; she just glared at him. "If you can beat me in a game, of my choosing, I'll turn around and leave."

Tempest thought furiously. She felt Grubber move behind her. If she could stop him now, and find out how he returned? "Deal. What's the game?"

As soon as she spoke something hard smashed into the back of her head. She turned. Her eyes widened in disbelief as she saw Grubber raising the club he'd been hiding.

"You --"

"Sorry, Fizzlepop." Grubber brought the club down one last time. It felt like Tempest's entire head came apart as she collapsed at the Storm King's feet. Smiling, he knelt beside the unconscious unicorn.

"My dear Tempest, the game is 'Anything Goes', and I just won." He rose and jerked a thumb to some of the Yetis. "Put her in a cell. I'll take care of her later." He started to ascend the dais, the Tsobyang elders having wisely vacated it. When Grubber tugged at his leg he scowled.

"Remember what ya promised boss," Grubber whimpered as the Storm King leaned over with a snarl on his face. "Ya won't kill Tempest since I knocked her out."

"Don't worry, Grubber." The hedgehog started to smile. The Storm King gave Tempest a kick. "I said I wasn't going to kill her, and I won't. Not anytime soon, anyway." He gave her another, harder kick. His voice dropped to a hiss. "She doesn't deserve an easy or quick end after backstabbing me." He pointed at the shocked hedgehog. "Get him outta here."

"What? No! Ya, ya promised..." Grubber's wail drifted back as a pair Yetis dragged both him and the senseless Tempest away. The Storm King ignored him, tapping one foot impatiently until the Yetis dragged out the carved wooden throne usually reserved for the Eldest Elder.

"First I check in with the old goat," the Storm King mused as he sat back in the throne. The Yetis began bowing and scraping before him, all save a few who sneaked out unnoticed. "Then I find out how many airships and Gorgon Gas bombs I had stockpiled away -- I'll haveta keep one back for Grogar; no way am I going to be that senile wreck's flunky forever, bleuh," he stuck his tongue out, sickened. "But first of all, boys?" He leaped to his feet and yelled.

"WE ARE BACK IN BUSINESS, BABY! And the whole world is gonna tremble at my bing-bang-BOOM!"

The wild roars of a horde of vengeful Yetis echoed up through the snowy mountain night sky.

Author's Note

Session 96.0 Ardashir (with flashback)
Session 96.1 Kendell2
Session 96.2 Ardashir
Session 96.3 Mtangalion
Session 96.4 Mtangalion
Session 96.5 Unown3
Session 96.6 whitebearboy (Continued from 86.17)
Session 96.7 Unown3 and Mtangalion
Session 96.8 sonicandmario826
Session 96.9 Ardashir
Session 96.10 Mtangalion
Session 96.11 Wolfram-and-Hart (with a minor edit) (MORE EDITS BY MTANGALION!)
Session 96.12 Unown3
Session 96.13 Ardashir
Session 96.14 Mtangalion
Session 96.15
Session 96.16 Mtangalion with a bit by me
Session 96.17 Ardashir
Session 96.18 Unown3
Session 96.19 Unown3 and Ardashir
Session 96.20 Unown3
Session 96.21 Ardashir

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?
What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Art by cheezedoodle96 https://www.deviantart.com/cheezedoodle96/art/Horse-Thieves-462805557

Session 97

Session 97.0 Mtangalion

In the ever-expanding computer room of Princess Twilight's castle, piles of gaming party snacks were sadly going to waste. All of the monitors were displaying the World of Horsecraft login screen, with an "Unable to connect to server" message...

Except for one computer in the back, where Spike and Garble had gotten bored and booted up Prince of the Monsters. Spike stopped tearing Manehatten skyscrapers out of the ground and bashing Garble over the head with them for a moment to look over his shoulder at Twilight and Button. "Other online games are fine, but nothing at CrystalSoft works!"

Garble grinned hugely. "Where are you looking, shorty? Balefire megaspell breath!" Spike's giant monster was blasted clear across the virtual city, obliterating a hoofball stadium and the Friendship Monument.

"What?!" Spike started laughing, grabbing for his controller again. "Hah, I'll get you for that!"

Shining Armor sighed. "I might as well join them..." Then he saw Button Mash and did a double-take. "What?! All those harmony artifacts and rituals Cady tried on me, and *Button Mash* still becomes an Alicorn first?"

Button patted Shining's shoulder. "There, there. I'm sure it'll be Player Two's turn soon enough. Now, let's see!" He glared at one of the computers. "This should be easy! ..." The little Alicorn frowned. "Unless the bad guys are in another world that I'm not a god of..."

"We could use the mirror portal," suggested Princess Twilight. "Take the fight to them."

Button Mash shook his head. "We'd have to find the hackers in the human world with human methods, and that would be really hard." His face lit up. "Or, I could spawn a minion to get them!"

Discord appeared, now dressed like a fussy librarian with half-moon spectacles. "Ah ah ah! Creating a personal minion is a complex effort that often involves significant energy expenditure and even personal sacrifice! You're about a thousand years too soon to..."

Ignoring him, Button pulled a red and white ball from under his beanie and threw it at the floor. "I choose you! Pyro the Dragon!"

There was a blinding flash, and a small purple and yellow winged dragon flew out of the pixelated smoke. "That's me all right!"

Discord's jaw literally dropped, and his eyes popped at least two feet out of his head before snapping back to his face. "Well, I never!"

"You can make video game characters appear in real life!?" exclaimed Shining Armor.

Button pointed his hoof at the monitor. "Go stop those guys who are ruining everycreature's gaming fun!"

Pyro beamed. "Looks like I've got things to do!" He flew straight into the monitor, and a purple glow traveled up the network cable and disappeared into the portal mirror.

Twilight frowned. "Um, do you think maybe you should have told him not to kill anybody or anything?"

Button winced. "It'll be fine! Probably!"

"Gah, why!?" cried Decepticolt, as the little dragon destroyed their hacking servers one after another... by charging across the room and headbutting them. And then collecting all the colorful gems which inexplicably flew out of the smoking remains.

Zappityhoof and Goldcap tried to crawl stealthily out of the building, only for the purple menace to land right in front of them. "I smell a barbecue!" Pyro lit them on fire, but somehow only their hair and most of their clothes burned to ash. They still flopped to the floor and passed out, though.

Session 97.1 Ardashir

"A little purple dragon flew out of our computer and headbutted all out gear into junk, with gold and gems popping out of the rubble. Then he breathed fire and burned all our hair off. You have to believe us!"

"...Joe, take these three in and give them a drug test before you lock them up. Oh, by the way, Crystalsoft has over a dozen lawyers waiting to see you people with lawsuits in hand."

Session 97.2 Ardashir

"Wow," Gallus flapped up to the top of the shelf, groaning under the weight of heavy wooden-bound books. Sneezes from his friends filled the air as his wings kicked up dust. "Looks like Miss Twilight was right, this place has everything. I wouldn't be surprised if I found some of those old rolling leather scrolls they used to use in Griffonstone for records." Only a little of his old bitterness came through as he added, "Back when Griffonstone had things happen worth recording."

Of his friends only Sandbar looked a little uneasy at the word 'leather'. He glanced at Yona beside him as she glanced at a shelf groaning under the weight of Merry Mare romances such as Rarity devoured by the dozen. "Heh! G-glad nopony uses leather any more. Right, Yona?"

"Yaks use leather," Yona looked at the shelf, ignoring Sandbar's horrified stare. "What? Yaks live in snow and rock filled frozen plateau. Yaks cannot afford to waste anything!" She turned back to the shelves and looked at a written list she held in one hoof. "Now check bookshelves. Miss Starlight give us game to see who can find oldest book in given gun, jenny..."

"Genre," Ocellus buzzed up close to the ceiling to examine some of the books in the sciences. She blinked at the sight of one very old book. "Huh, 'Mad Myths and Malevolent Monsters'?" She took it off the shelf, flipped it open at random, reading, "'While stories are told of shapeshifting bug ponies, no facts have been found to substantiate this legend. If they ever did exist, they are long gone. One may as well believe as the barbarian races of griffons and dragons will ever be more than pestilential savages on our borders...' Heh!" She flinched as both Smolder and Gallus gave her dirty looks. She started to put the book back on the shelf. "Guess that pony ate his words, huh -- look out! Don't let it hit the floor! Oh, thanks, Smolder."

Smolder looked up, growling and rubbing her head.

"Yeesh, just cause that pony ate his words doesn't mean I haveta, too!" She frowned at the tome, her claws digging into the thick cover. "'Barbarian dragons', huh? When did he write this crap?" She looked at the book. "Eighty years ago?"

Silverstream looked over from her corner of the store. She excitedly waved one claw over hea head. "Ooh! I remember that from history of foreign relations class! That was the year several dozen dragons argued with ex-Dragon Lord Torch, so he exiled them and they invaded Equestria and burned down and looted half a dozen cities!"

Smolder winced and carefully set the book back on the shelf. "Okay, yeah, maybe we didn't always get along with ponies really well."

"Yeah, like how hippogriffs didn't want to meet anygriff," Silverstream said as she plucked another book seemingly at random from the shelf. It had a dark look to it, and an imaginative onlooker might have wondered if something like dark water dripped from it as she held it. "Guess it would have helped if we'd ever had friends before the Storm King came -- hey! Cozy Glow's picture is in this book!"

Five throats called out "What?!?" In moment Silverstream's friends were at her side, looking at the picture on the page.

"Can't be," Gallus muttered. He touched the page, reluctantly. It seemed to cling to his clawtip for a moment as he did. "Look at this book, it's older than Miss Starlight an' Miss Rarity."

"But that's Cozy," Sandbar said, pointing at the picture of a filly in a wooden cradle arrayed with crimson drapery. She did indeed look like a near-newborn Cozy Glow or what they imagined she might look like. The sly cunning smile on her face would have never belonged to a real filly, though. A feral jackal stood to one side of the cradle and another indefinable figure stood in the shadows behind it, bipedal in a long frock coat. His feet were on old banners of Celestia's Sun and Luna's Moon. The artist had not done a very good job of him; the standing figure's one visible hand looked almost like a mass of worms, and of the face nothing could be told beyond a unpleasantly toothy smile. The writing on the page was faded.

Ocellus leaned in close. "'Count Magnus, visiting Chor, Chora-someplace, on his," she blinked and worked at the bizarre words. "'Black Pilgrimage', visiting the newborn daughter of the Prince of the Air, future Queen of All Equestria'." Ocellus looked at the others. "Whatever that means."

"Eh, whatever," Gallus put the book back on the shelf. And if he pushed it far to the back so it was no longer visible without hard searching, no one commented. "Cozy's having tea parties with Tirek in Tartarus. She's never gonna be a problem again."

***

"Ow!" Cozy rubbed her ears in Grogar's lair.

"Oh, what is it now?" Tirek grumbled as he tossed down his hand of cards in front of a scowling Chrysalis. "Hah! Sun and Moon! You know what that means!" Chrysalis rolled her eyes and nodded, letting him drain more energy from her.

"Nothing," Cozy said on her usual cute adorable voice. "I just had the weirdest idea that someone was looking at my baby pictures."

Session 97.3 Mtangalion

"There you are!" exclaimed Maternity Love-Tap. Button Mash's mother trotted into the computer room, looking very much relieved. "Thank you for watching Button and his friends, Princess Twilight. We'll just be getting out of your way, and..." She stared at Button, her mouth falling open.

Button Mash, Equestria's one and only Alicorn colt, scratched the back of his neck with a wing sheepishly. "Er... hi, mom!"

Maternity nudged Button's horn, gawking first at her son, and then at Twilight, as if daring one of them to tell her this was a prank. "I knew I wasn't crazy!" She considered, stroking her chin. "This changes things. I assume he's going to need some extra tutoring?"

Princess Twilight nodded smartly. "A little extra tutoring never hurt anypony, but for Button, I'd definitely recommend lessons to get him up to speed on basic telekinesis and flight."

Maternity smiled. "And we can schedule this around his normal school hours?"

Button's big grin vanished in an instant. "Wha... what!? But moooom!"

"Don't you ‘But mom!' me, young colt!"

"But, I'm the Prince of Gaming now!"

Maternity put on her best Mom Face. "Unless you're the Prince of Math and Science and History too, I still expect you to go to school and pass all of your classes! No son of mine is growing up to be an ignorant lout like that Prince Blueblood."

Princess Twilight raised a hoof. "Actually, it turns out that Prince Blueblood is smart and highly educated, and he was only cultivating a public persona of being a complete jerk to get rid of mares who..." Button's mom glared at her. "And... I'm muddling the point..."

Meanwhile, Button Mash grinned deviously and conjured up a new minion... a short bipedal silver robot with luminous green eyes. "Greetings, Prince Isthmia," said the robot, with a small formal bow. "Clank, at your service. I can disguise myself as a saddlebag, and I am fully capable of completing all your homework assignments with optimal speed and accuracy."

There was a metallic "shhhhrk!" sound, and Maternity Love-Tap suddenly held a katana aimed straight at the robot's neck.

Clank gulped. "However, it appears that I will not be doing any of those things. Good day!" He vanished in a puff of smoke, just like he'd arrived.

Button looked to Princess Twilight with pleading eyes.

"Don't look at me," said Twilight. "Even the Princess of Friendship knows better than to cross a mom on the warpath."

Session 97.4 Unown3

"Is that..." Rumble whispered, looking at an Alicorn version of the colt everypony in class had thought was destine to be an overweight otaku.

"Button Mash? I think so... unless it's Discord playing a game again," Tender Taps said.

"Just because you're an Alicorn now Button Mash doesn't mean you don't have to do your home work," Love-Tap said sternly, showing her dominance over her son.

"But..." Rumble said. "How is that fair? I hang out with Scootaloo, you hang out with Apple Bloom! And we didn't become gods!"

"Sorry lads, but roll of the cosmic dice and all that," Discord popped out. Discord was disappointed that all he got was a slight surprised yelp. Ponies in Ponyville had gotten way too used to his presence. Where was the fun in that? "Button Mash just lucked out! Like Twilight Sparkle and that Rain Boom of hers getting her into Celestia's school!"

"Random chance isn't equal! And entrance into the bourgeoisie being random isn't fair at all!" Rumble shouted, and quickly making sure he didn't have his copy of the Equality Manifesto showing.

"Chaos is the ultimate fairness!" Discord declared loudly and indignantly!

Session 97.5 Unown3

"A male Alicorn at last... and it's a colt!... I wanted Pipsqueak to be the first!" Princess Luna snapped stomping a hoof.

Session 97.6 sonicandmario826

" I honestly thought Big Mac would ascend first considering what you told me about his dreams.", said Celestia standing near by.

Cadence meanwhile seemed a bit mad at this news, "Why couldn't it have been Shining!?! I've been trying to get him to ascend for years and a colt was able to do it NO PROBLEM!!!"

Session 97.5 Mtangalion Ardashir (alternate scene)

(This is an alternate scene.)

Luna shouted, "Why did it have to be a colt?!? I've been waiting over 1500 years for this!"

Celestia said, "Settle down, little sister... And before you go turning into a filly yourself, he already has a fillyfriend."

Luna raised a clenched hoof. "We're definitely reinstating the herding laws!"

At which moment every stallion in Equestria felt a shiver run down their spine.

-

Princess Twilight was bewildered. "I don't understand... I was certain that those six students were going to awaken new Elements of Harmony to replace what Sombra destroyed, but I just felt Destiny get turned on its ear!"

Spike nodded. "You're telling me!" *points at the thrones around the map table, which now have the cutie marks of the Crusaders, and their friends!"

Rarity exclaimed. "It looked like Destiny is out and getting drunk in a bar."

AJ said, "Yer exaggeratin'."

A whip-pan effect lead to to Rota Fortuna, singing a drunken duet with Fenris at the Gods Bar.

They'd already mangled "Hound Dog" and "Hungry Like the Wolf," and then the karaoke machine starts playing "Fly Me to the Moon."

"MY SONG is getting desecrated somewhere!" Luan snapped.

Session 97.6 Unown3

Shining Armor remarked, "Well, Flurry Heart is finally taking to potty training, if I didn't know better I'd say she took so long to learn just to watch us squirm... Cadence?"

Cadence looked pale, she was holding a small magical device. "Shining... remember what we thought about naming Flurry Heart?"

"Oh yeah, before the Gypsy cursed me, which is totally not a thing, and we named her after nearly destroying the Crystal Empire, which is sure not gonna affect her at all, I think we discussed... 'Skyla'?"

"... We're going to get another chance to use that name," Cadence said with dread.

"Oh horse apples," Shining Armor said and fainted.

Session 97.7 Mtangalion

Princess Luna gave Cadence and Shining a reserved and regal smirk. "You're having another foal? I shall put the royal kitchens on high alert! I doubt you shall be able to get your favorite chef again, since the griffons have gone and made her queen." Luna levitated an official-looking letter with barely-legible claw-writing.

Shining Armor sat up, glaring. "Hey, now! You can't just assume..."

Cadence put a hoof to her belly. "Actually, I could go for some Manehatten-style pizza. With extra salsa and chocolate... oh no."

Princess Celestia took a deep breath. "We should be greeting both of these royal arrivals with joy, not dismay and jealousy. Harmony chooses who it wills."

"Code Pink!" screamed a stallion from the direction of the kitchens. "I repeat, Code Pink!"

Shining groaned. "Yeah, 'Prince' Button Mash and now this... it really doesn't seem all that harmonious. Maybe it's fate."

Just then, a trapdoor popped open in front of the thrones, and Pinkie Pie stuck her head out. "Nah! Of course we'd get an Alicorn of Games next, it's totally the theme of the story!" Ponyville's premier pink party pony sighed. "I'd like to say 'And next we should totally have an Alicorn of Fun, right... right!?' Just imagine all the games we could play then! But what if the readers didn't like that? 'Ho hum, it's Alicorn Pinkie again! Now you're just copying what happened in the other story!' And they'd kind have a point but... Oh, almost forgot!"

In a blur, Pinkie Pie set out tables with all kinds of party food, and 'Congratulations on your growing family!' decorations... and even a pizza made just like Cadence wanted.

Celestia prodded the trap door with a hoof. "You know, I've been wondering what this was for ever since the castle was built..."

Session 97.8 Ardashir

"Trixie," Twilight said, sounding and looking dangerously calm as she stood at the entrance to the Friendship School's bathroom. She wore a bathrobe and beyond one throbbing vein on her forehead seemed calm. Seemed. "Please tell me why the dragons have been in my bathroom for six hours straight."

Trixie smiled weakly. "It all s-started when the Great and Powerful Trixie decided to go outside and watch the display of dragon games they were putting on for the students, as you asked them to do..."

***

"KING! OF! THE HOARRRD!" Garble roared it out as he stood atop a pile of gems and gold almost as high as himself. Arms spread, claws bared, he spewed fire into the sky. "Is anyone dumb enough ta challenge me?!?"

Silence filled the courtyard. Garble looked around, scratching his head in confusion.

"Yeesh, come on, somedragon?"

Before him stood the main body of the school students, with the Student Six in front. Smolder wore her cheerleading outfit. She waved her pom-poms and cheered.

"You go, big brother! You'll beat everyone who challenges you!" She looked around as the crowd of ponies and other creatures held back. "Uh, if anydragon does. Hey, Sludge!" Smolder waved at the fat grumbling dragon as he cleaned the grounds. "Ya wanna show us how much of a dragon you are? Like ya did with Spike?" Spiteful glee filled her voice.

"Forget it," Sludge waved one claw at her. "I always lost that game when I played it as a kid."

"Wow, am I ever surprised," Garble muttered. He pointed at his three exiled pals. "Yo, Clump, Fume, Fizzle, ya wanna show these ponies how it's done?" He smirked. "Or are ya afraid this sissy poet is too much for ya?"

A moment later all three charged up the pile and grappled with Garble. The students recoiled at the heavy blows and roars of primordial fury that filled the air, echoes of an older and more savage age when violence settled everything and might was the measure of all things --

"What is this racket?!?" Trixie trotted up, looking cross. "The Great and Educational Trixie was trying to master some of the spells she will be showing the students later. Must you four lizards be making such a racket?"

The four dragons froze. Slowly they turned from the contest to look at her.

"Lizards!" Garble dropped down to the ground Once there he snatched Trixie up and held her before his face. He looked more than a little like his old self, especially as his three pals came up behind and beside him, grinning wickedly at Trixie. "Okay. Ya wanna make us stop? Then beat us!" He dropped back back to the ground.

Trixie looked uncertain. "Alright. How does Trixie have to beat you? A game of dragon mah-jongg, some jacks, a display of sleight of hoof..." She yelled as Garble stomped hard enough to bounce her off the ground.

"No! Ya gotta make us abandon our hoard!" Garble pointed at the piled treasure behind him. "Ya understand?"

Trixie looked thoughtful and smiled. "Can she do anything?" When Garble nodded, Trixie just twirled her horn. "Then she does this!"

And she cast a single spell.

***

"So you're the reason why Garble and his friends screamed and rushed off to my bathroom," Twilight stomped one hoof as Trixie grinned in a guilty fashion. "What spell did you cast?"

"The magnifying spell you asked Trixie to teach the students," Trixie scraped the floor lightly with one forehoof. "It makes things look bigger. Like those tiny parasites you noticed on dragon scales?"

"AAAHH!" Garble's shriek crashed out the door and echoed down the hallway. "WHERE DID THESE GIANT BUGS COME FROM? GET EM OFFA ME!" The sounds of wild scrubbing could be heard from inside. "NO! YOU GUYS WAIT YOUR TURN!"

Twilight rolled her eyes and cast a dispel. She walked back down the hallway to her office, saying, "Trixie? I want you to get the rest of the faculty together so we can discuss why the school needs a rule against casting spells on staff or students without express permission."

Session 97.9 Mtangalion

"Wait a minute!" growled Garble. You could almost see the gears struggling to turn in his head, and maybe a few puffs of steam from his ears too. "If that's your bathroom, how come there's a huge lava bath in there?"

Princess Twilight took a step back, suddenly all flustered. "Ah! There's a simple explanation, of course! You see..." She sighed. "Fine..."

The purple Alicorn lit her horn, and suddenly all the young dragons were scrambling back from a *room-filling* purple dragoness whose horns nearly reached the ceiling. "Rainbow Dash wouldn't shut up about how ‘awesome' lava baths are," Twilight rumbled. "I thought it wouldn't hurt to try it once, and... Well, sometimes it really is the most, ah... *time-efficient* way of getting totally clean!"

"Uh huh," said Fume smugly.

"Suuuure..." said a grinning Fizzle.

Sludge folded his arms. "Oh yeah, we're totally throwing this back in your face the next time you talk like us dragons are just a bunch of uncultured brutes."

Clump belched loudly.

Feeling a bit of dragonish temper from her temporary form, Twilight scowled and breathed violet flames in a huff. "Whatever! Like I care what you losers think! Just don't tell Rainbow."

"Too late!" crowed Rainbow Dash from a window, flashing into her own dragon form. "You and me, Ghastly Gorge dragon air race, this afternoon! Unless you're a scaredy dragon..." She winked and darted away.

"Spell copy!" cried Trixie, forgotten until just now. She flashed into a blue and white baby dragoness, then flopped over from mana exhaustion before she could even brag about it. Instead, she curled up adorably for a nap.

"Arrgh!" Twilight roared and cracked the crystal floor by stamping her paw. Then she froze, and hastily became an Alicorn again. Zap! Trixie was a pony again too. Zap! Trixie was teleported away, presumably to the school nurse's office. Zap! Giant crack in the floor, all fixed. Conveniently, the bathrobe was back too, even though Twilight hadn't removed it before transforming.

"Moving along!" Twilight cleared her throat. "Dragon scale parasites are immune to lava, because why wouldn't they be? Fortunately, there's a magical potion for dragon pest control. You'll have to ask Spike about that..."

Spike was busy sending out invites to the rescheduled World of Horsecraft raid, when a scaly red paw grabbed his swivel chair and spun him around.

"That potion to make scale bugs go away!" gasped Garble. All of the young dragons were winded from their frantic search through the school and then the crystal castle. "We need it! Gimme!"

Spike smirked, leaning back in his chair. "You know, I offered you some when you first got here. What did you say, Garble? You were a real dragon, not some pony-pampered whelp who couldn't stand a little itching?"

"Well, that was before we saw what the scale bugs look like!" whined Sludge, scratching all over himself. "Have mercy!"

"Sure, I can get the potion for you, but..." Spike grinned even more. "I'm not sure you want it. You see, it's made... in Dragon Town!"

The other young dragons were stunned into silence, until Garble finally deadpanned, "I don't care. Three cheers for Lady Mina."

Clump and Fizzle nodded vigorously. "What he said!"

Fume pumped a fist. "Velvet la revolving-alution!"

"I'm not with them," muttered Sludge. "I'm just... coincidentally here at the same time!"

Session 97.10 Unown3

Starlight said, her horn glowing, "And remember... you are poor and misunderstood, you are not evil and malicious."

"I remember... I am poor and misunderstood, not evil and malicious," droned the giant red spider with an eye-patch that had tried to eat Twilight and her friends when they were rescuing the CMC from Chrysalis.

"And don't forget 'I'm with you in the dark.'"

The giant spider got up, and began to wander back to Everfree, now just a misunderstood magical creature rather than a pony-eating monster.

"One more down." Bon Bon marked off a check list.

"I just want you to know, I hated your organization for even existing," Starlight said.

"And I can't believe you remember it existing."

Starlight laughed in defiance. "First rule of brainwashing: be prepared for WHEN, not IF you get brainwashed too."

"Good advice," Love Tap said, dressed all in black like a Neighponese stage hoof. "Too bad you can't just destroy enemies anymore."

"Or lock them away in a secret vault... Tartarus ain't what it used to be," Bon Bon remarked.

"We've all agreed that we need to eliminate as many threats to Princess Twilight's reign as possible, So the only villains left are the inept jerks," Starlight said. "And also make sure all the warmongering and 'worst stereotypes' dragons are no longer a threat as well."

--

"Spike," said Sludge, "I just want to say... I'm sorry for being a complete and utter failure as a father, and even if we might be blood related after all, I have no right to call myself your parent after all I've done. And I will not try to weasel into your personal space or private time."

"Wow... all those friendship lessons must be paying off!"

--

"Well, my son is an Alicorn now, so that's another layer of protection once the princesses abandon their responsibilities."

"Are you saying you'd actually RISK HIM being in danger?" Bon Bon asked.

"Not if I can help it! Why do you think I'm helping YOU and YOU!? One of you was part of a shadow organization who believed in 'ignorance is bliss', and another started the Equalist movement! Oh, and I somehow doubt every single monster you ever locked up and erased the memories of was a memeic parasite that fed on more ponies knowing it existed."

Bon Bon bowed, "Maybe we did go a little overboard on the brainwashing... Lyra and I adopted Tootsie Flute because ... well, she doesn't remember what happened to her blood family. That's all I'll say."

"So who's next on the list?" Starlight asked.

Love Tap said, "Finding targets is getting strangely harder, it's like they're up and vanishing..."

"Think somepony else had the same idea as us?" Bon Bon asked.

"Maybe... but there is one more I think I've been able to find..." Love Tap said.

(NOTE! IT IS BEING FORCED AND ARTIFACTUAL IS THE POINT! IT IS NOT SAYING 'THIS IS SOMEHOW MORE NATURAL'!!!!! I am NOT looking for a fight! This is meant to be an in-universe thought on how odd it is that so many villains are spontaneously switching sides or turning out to be 'good all along' here in the final season. This is NOT 'what really happened', this is fanfiction. And I'd be confused at who is supposed to take over Luna's duties as the dream guardian, since she transparently provided a much needed service for Equestria, and when Celly tried to take over Luna's duties it nearly ended in disaster... but I think we're supposed to pretend that never existed. I am not posting this looking for a fight or looking to alienate readers.)

Session 97.11 Ardashir

"Hey, Spike!" Smolder dropped down by Spike as he sent out the final batch of invites for the new World of Horsecraft raid. She waved around a large envelope. "I got a note from Garble and the others They're still going to Fillydelphia for the scale bug remover."

"You did?" Spike hit the 'enter' key and sent the invites out. He then started deleting the hate mail from angry gamers and non-gamers who'd seen the false message pinning everything on him and his friends, and who decided to jump in on the internet mob scene while they still could. "Okay, what does 'Gar-Gar' have to say?"

Smolder took the letter out and started reading it. "Okay, 'Most ponies have been very polite. They keep giving us directions. Sometimes they even run in the direction we need to go in to help...'"

***

"AHHH! Wild dragons! Run for your lives!"

"Yo, pony, which way is Fillydelphia?" Garble asked one plump pony with a camera hanging around his neck as they dropped on their belly before him. He looked up in fear as the other ponies fled.

"If I tell you do you promise not to eat me??"

"Huh? Yeah, sure." Garble rolled his eyes. "Like I eat ponies -- wait, is that one of those picture-taking boxes? Hey, can I borrow it?" He pointed a claw at the camera. "I want to take some of those 'fo-toes' so I can show everydragon back home..." Garble caught the camera as the pony hurled it and the film at his face before fleeing. "Hey, thanks, pony dude!"

***

"Have been taking photos ever since, BLEAH!" Smolder and Spike both recoiled at a close-up of Sludge's obese form as he laid down, posing in front of a sign reading 'Only one dimension and 1587 miles from Wall Drug Store, last free water before South Dakota Badlands, see our animatronic T-Rex'. In the background horrified ponies looked ready to faint. Smolder turned the photo around and upside down. "Nothing makes him look better. And what's a 'Wall Drug Store'?"

Spike shrugged. "I think Pinkie mentioned me it once. What else does it say?"

"I dunno," Smolder looked closer at the letter. "Something about meeting some crazy gray Earth pony when the others begged Garble to take pictures of them around this giant petrified dragon egg??"

***

"For the last time!" Limestone Pie leaped at the five dragons, swinging a massive iron flail studded with spikes. Her body was encased in centuries-old Earth Pony plate barding for dragon-fighting. Clump and Fume lay on the ground, groaning in pain and nursing their lumps. Garble, Sludge, and Fizzle fled shrieking as the mad mare chased them, the multiple spiked heads of the flail snapping at their heels. "STAY AWAY FROM HOLDER'S BOULDER!"

***

"Did they even reach Fillydelphia yet?" Spike looked at the photo of the beaten dragons, a furious and triumphant Limestone Pie standing atop their heaped bodies.

"According to this?" Smolder tapped the letter. "Just as soon as the Dragontown traitors -- I mean dragons, pay for their bail."

***

In the Dragontown Comic Shop, Mina scowled at the five wild dragons as they scratched helplessly. Garble pleaded. "So, like, you gotta sell us some of that anti-scale bug potion. Dragons gotta stick together, right?"

Mina growled. "Ember is gonna owe me for this one."

Session 97.12 Ardashir

"Are ya sure we should play without Garble here?" Spike asked as they all sat back down to their computers. "I mean, he wanted to be here."

"Sorry, Spike, but we've let this game get too backed up," Twilight sat at her computer, keeping an eye on the Student Six and her friends as they started logging on to CrystalSoft. In the corner a radio played music, tuned in to a Fillydelphia station. "Besides, Garble and his pals were the ones who decided they needed to see Mina so badly, and --"

And a panicked voice broke through on the radio.

"Citizens of Equestria, doomsday is at hand!"

Rainbow Dash groaned and facehoofed. "What, again?" But even she stopped as the announcer continued.

"The Gates of Tartarus have broken down, and dozens of monsters and villains have escaped, ravaging everywhere like dragons, only less awesome!" They heard papers rustling. "Eh, Grogar from that book and guys like Tirek and Chrysalis and that creepy little pegasus filly. And uh, lots of others, I guess."

"Ooh, almost like in the game!" Pinkie Pie said, only to be shushed by everypony else.

"Something about him sounds very familiar," Twilight looked suspicious as she walked to the radio. "Let me see if the other stations are reporting it. Hey!"

Spike held her hoof in his claw. "No, Twi, we need to hear this, it's important!"

"According to early reports, Mount Aris, Yakyakistan, and Griffonstone have been completely destroyed, with no survivors! Uh, the puny Pony Princesses got eaten by some kind of monster, too." As he spoke a Starlight Glimmer and Trixie both galloped into the room, looks of horror on their faces.

Silverstream and Yona both shrieked at the latest news.

"My family! No!" Silverstream dropped, sobbing. A weeping Yona held her, with Ocellus helping her.

"Oh yeah, Dragon Lord Ember got stomped on by a real dragon, I mean monster," a new but oddly familiar voice said. Twilight blinked as she heard it be followed by a slap and a snarl of, "Dude, we said we'd take turns seeing who could freak out the most ponies. So get lost, Clump, I'm not done messing with this radio thing! Oh! Uh," Garble's now identifiable voice spoke up. "Like, that pony cloud city got knocked out of the sky, too. And -- yikes, Mina!"

"What are you rockheads doing??" A door slammed and Mina's voice came snarling over the air. "This radio station is where my Dad works, I told you not to mess with the equipment, Let go of that mike --"

Sounds of struggle came through the radio, followed by a crash, the howl of somedragon feeling an entire generator's worth of electricity run through them, and then only dead air.

Twilight and Starlight sighed in unison and looked at each other.

"I'll go to Fillydelphia to bring them back."

"I'll prepare a statement for everypony they terrified as well as the Princesses." Twilight walked out of the room, shaking her head. "At least nopony will be foolish enough to believe them. I hope."

***

Many miles away, three desperately pleading villains hung over a pit filled with ravenous leeches. Grogar stopped them with a single hoof stomp.

"I have only one question, my minions." He drew them closer, still holding them helpless. "WHICH OF YOU IDIOTS BLABBED?"

(OOC: Based on the infamous 'War of the Worlds broadcast' as well as the 1966 event where some Russian teenager in Kaluga convinced the whole city the nukes were flying with a faked broadcast: https://mysteriousuniverse.org/2017/11/we-control-transmission-mysterious-and-bizarre-broadcast-intrusions/ )

Session 97.13 whitebearboy

(Continued from 96.6)

Fluttershy walked her character through the snowy woods, wondering when she would encounter more monsters to befriend. Just then, she noticed a shadowy figure following the child she controlled. "Oh, who is that?" she wondered, sounding a bit less confident now. The child stepped over a stick laying in the middle of the path, but when she looked back, something else had broken the stick! "This is getting kind of...spooky." Fluttershy gulped. When she came to a bridge with a gate in front of it, she found herself unable to move her character any further, and the shadowy figure she had spotted earlier was closing in from behind. "Oh my, they're sneaking up behind me, are they going to attack?" the pink-haired girl thought fearfully. When the figure was right behind her character, it ordered the child to "turn around and shake my hand" claiming that was how to greet a new pal. Fluttershy watched nervously as her character obeyed without her input.

*phbbbt*

There was a sound like someone passing gas, and her fear vanished as the shadowy figure was revealed to be a goofy-looking skeleton who introduced himself as Sans, he had pranked her with a whoopee cushion in his hand.

"Ha, ha, ha, he's not scary at all, I can't believe I was so scared!" Fluttershy laughed as Sans explained that he was supposed to be on watch for humans, but didn't really care about capturing anybody.

Session 97.14 Mtangalion

Spike blinked several times, gawking. "Uh, Garble? Buddy, pal? You okay?"

Garble was *finally* back at the Friendship Castle after his epic misadventures and being in jail once or twice, and he was sitting in a meditative pose with a blissful smile on his big ugly muzzle. "Oh Spike..." he breathed. "My true, dear friend! I'm only just starting to realize. All those years I spent, so angry at the world, driven to bury my tender artistic soul and be the worst sort of bully... It's all because I had those itchy bugs tormenting me all my life, and now I'm finally free!" He clutched a paw to his chest. "Why, I can feel the light of true friendship shining through!"

Spike gasped and leaned towards him. "R-really!?"

Garble snickered, then guffawed, slapping Spike on the back. "Nah, I'm just messing with you. Now come on, let's log in and get back in the raid already! That phony loser fake me isn't gonna pound himself!"

(An hour and a half later...)

Blackest Flame, Garble's griffon warrior, held "Garble's Hammer Axe" aloft and did the /warcry emote with gusto. "I guess this is a good enough apology," admitted Garble, grinning.

"There, there," said Fluttershy soothingly, directing her druid to cast another Healing Touch on the former Dark Dragon Brawler. In the universal tradition of possessed hero raid bosses, the NPC Garble had shaken off the brainwashing and turned friendly the moment he was pummeled down to one hit point.

Gallus' voice spoke up in their chat channel again. "If you liked that, you're gonna love what comes next. I read ahead in the guide, and..."

"Hey, spoilers!" shouted the human Rainbow Dash.

"Wait..." Prince Shining Armor groaned. "You mean you didn't study up on the next few bosses at all? With those hackers delaying our game, you should have had plenty of time!"

"What?" said Rainbow defensively. "I wanted to be surprised!"

"You mean, totally unprepared to do your best for the group!" countered Shining.

Spike sighed. "I would have studied, but I've been kind of busy. You know, mailing out letters to Mina, sending new raid invites, sending *bail* money..." As he was talking, the raid group moved deep enough into Tartarus to trigger another cinematic intro. "No way..."

Garble just pointed at Spike and yelled "Hah!"

The virtual camera swooped down towards a square platform with a bottomless abyss on every side, and the maniacally laughing purple and green dragon who stood in the very center, surrounded by floating spheres of emerald flame.

(SPIKE, THE CORRUPTED)
(DARK DRAGON MAGE)

Session 97.15 Unown3

"THIS IS STUPID!" Gilda screeched into head phone.

"That Dark Spike here is using green flames to randomly spawn random enemies making trying to form a strategy against him more luck than experience?" Rainbow Dash the human asked.

"No... that Dark Spike thought that fake beard would make him look manly!"

"Oh yeah, true, I can't imagine anyone being that dumb."

"Let's... just keep at it." Spike said from behind his computer screen.

Session 97.16 Mtangalion

(I went back and filled in the battle against Dark Dragon Mage Spike)

Ten wipes later, the Elements of Harmony guild was starting to look beaten-down and covered in soot, as if they'd been blown up trying to catch a cartoon road runner one too many times. But that was just their imagination, surely. The game wasn't advanced enough to show battle damage like that... right?

"Okay..." grumbled Prince Shining Armor. "From the top."

Rainbow Dash went to the trouble of doing a /rolleyes emote. "Dodge the fire bombs, but stack on the super-flame targets so everybody can soak the damage together... because that TOTALLY makes sense." In real life, she was counting off more and more things on her fingers. "Dodge orange markers, dodge more orange markers, dodge LOTS more orange markers, don't forget about the time-delay bombs... and do all this while fighting the totally random summoned monsters! Is that everything?"

"Nope, that's just as far as we've gotten," said Applejack cheerfully. "There's more horseapples after. Ah reckon there's a sixty-three point three three percent chance that Rainbow will be the one to drop dead first. That's repeating, of course."

"That's better than she usually does!" ... said both versions of Gilda at the same time. "Stop copying me. No, YOU stop."

Sci-Twi did a /sigh. "Remember to be careful around the edges of the platform. Even if your character can usually fly, Tartarus is enchanted so only the wardens can fly, and the bad guys have all the warden badges."

"We know, we know!" grumbled Dash. "That's plenty of prep! Can we just pull already?"

Pinkie's character slipped a muffin out of her hair... somehow... and tossed it at the boss. "Whoops, I pulled! Guess we're fighting the boss now!"

(Several minutes later...)

"Ho!" shouted Rainbow, sidestepping a deadly orange danger zone before it even appeared. "Haha!" Orange danger zones popped up left and right, but the pegasus effortlessly danced around every single one of them. "Guard turn parry dodge spin thrust! Piece of cake." She faltered in her steps. "Uh, what's next?"

"Phase 3!" shouted Twilight. "Get ready!"

"Ready for what?!" demanded Rainbow.

Spike the Dark Dragon Mage flapped his wings, rising into the air! "Heh, you guys are pretty good... but Lord Tirek doesn't want anycreature interrupting his plans. Sorry, but you guys are going DOWN!" He fired a spell towards one end of the platform..

Rainbow smirked. "Hah, you missed us!" Then she realized that the rest of the raid was scrambling to the opposite end... just in time for the spell to push that side of the platform down, tipping the whole thing like a seesaw. Most of the guild slid across the platform and stopped short of the edge, but Rainbow was too close, and Sunset barely managed to cast the "Rescue" spell in time to pull her back to safety. "Thanks, I owe you one... Uh, why are you running away?"

Then the platform tipped the opposite way, and this time Rescue was on cooldown, so Rainbow slid straight into the bottomless pit. "Okay, I totally could have dodged that," grumbled Rainbow in the voice chat, while her "unconscious" body was materializing back on the platform... next to the kneeling, defeated Spike. "I just needed another second! Uh, can I get a Revive here?"

Sunset smirked, already digging through Spike's big shiny loot chest. "Walk it off."

Session 97.17 Ardashir

The heroes, together with the now-purified in game Garble and Spike, headed towards the next boss encounter, fighting their way through cherufes and stone dogs along the way.

"Die in the name of our master and mistress!" The blobby lava-bodied monsters roared as they hurled balls of magma yanked from their own bodies. The stone dogs said nothing. They merely charged, smashing into the heroes and savaging them as soon as they fell.

"Dodge their charge and strike them when they stop in confusion!" Shining Armor yelled over the voice link. "And watch out for the lava bombs; when they hit they stick to you."

"Like we didn't notice!" Dash called back. Her character dodged wildly as several cherufe zeroed in on her. They missed, and as the cherufe tried to recover from the assault her friends blasted them down.

"So when do we meet the next boss? Like we need to guess who he is." Dragon-Spike gulped as the horde of monsters began hurrying away and the music changed, turning dark and sinister with a metallic undertone. "Uh, sorry I asked."

"And where's Ember?" Smolder made sure she had her spells ready. "Wasn't she kidnapped at the beginning of all this?" She added gleefully, "Besides, Garble is probably missing his girlfriend by now."

"Don't go there, little sis," Garble growled over the link.

Before them the tunnel widened out into a massive cavern. Ember hung in midair, confined in darkly-glowing magic. Below her stood not one, but two terrible figures.

"Oh, really now!" Rarity huffed as her mage got her own spells ready. "Lavan and Crunch, at once?"

"So! Filthy soft vermin think they here to fight Crunch?" The massive rock dog sneered. It pointed a paw at petrified ponies, griffins, deer, ice wolves and more around the cavern. "Then they join Crunch's collection when he make them not-soft any more, hah!"

"Silence, you ignorant mongrel!" Lavan boomed, still in his giant lava form. "I need but lift a single finger to destroy you all. However, Lord Tirek had an even better idea." With a burbling chuckle he turned to the restrained Ember along with Crunch.

Dark magic flew from them both, sinking into her body as the Dragon lord screamed. In moments her screams turned to snarls of evil as her form changed. She grew larger, her scales turning to jagged ebony and outlined in crimson.

'EMBER, CORRUPTED DRAGON LORD'
'QUEEN OF ASHES'

"No!" The purified Mage-Spike said in the game. "Not our beloved ruler!"

"Darling!" Dragon Brawler Garble said as Blackest Flame made gagging noises over the link. "I swear, my love, we will save you!"

"Hah! Fools!" Ember roared spreading her wings and breathing fire over their heads. "I am the True Spirit of Dragonkind, the ashes of my father's dream of peace! Want! Take! Destroy all else! That is the real dragon way! Now let me demonstrate!"

In a single breath Ember poured fire down over all of them.

And as they fought back none of them noticed how ever time they used magic against her, a small meter reading 'Lavan's Crystal Form' began to fill up.

Session 97.18 Kendell2

"Alright, so who's god is next?" asked Twilight as the group continued setting up the Age of Gods game. So far Trixie and Tempest were getting along as well as she expected and she was beyond grateful to have her older brother (one of the few people she knew that could separate the two if they got into a fight) and Zecora were here to keep things sane. Then again, given how these games normally went, perhaps they'd get a chance to work through their issues...or blow up the entire game room...again...

"I'll go!" said Spike with a smile. "Arcaniss! Dragon God of Magic and Nobility! He guides dragons to be more heroic and noble, though still be dragons. He's a cool guy," he explained, showing the picture of a big strong, amethyst scaled dragon god. "Hey, Tiamat likes STRONG dragons, doesn't really care if they're noble, and Bahamut likes it...Oh, and Neutral Good."

"Nice," Twilight said with a smile, looking at the little dragon. She had always been surprised that Queen Tiamat had allowed a dragon to attend the School of Friendship...naturally, it had turned out to be mostly Bahamut's idea. Dragon God with dominion over Wisdom vs his wife's Instinct made that little surprise. It was little wonder that the big guy was the one of the two to go out and handle diplomatic stuff while his wife held down the fort in the actual homeland of the dragons. Not that Tiamat couldn't be diplomatic, Celestia had tea with her often and she'd been civil during the games she'd come for, but there was the legendary story of Ambassador Screaming Ninny, who was last scene being the Mother of All Dragons' snack for mouthing off to her. Funnily enough it seemed reports couldn't decide which head swallowed him.

"Okay, so Fizzlepop, you're last..." said Twilight, looking to the unicorn.

Trixie looked ready to have a witty jab at whatever the former Storm King minion came up with, much to Twilight's jargon.

After a few moments of consideration, Fizzlepop put a picture on the table that rendered Trixie genuinely speechless.

An Alicorn with her coat color, naturally, with proper, beautiful armor, and generally extremely muscular. Not surprising at first...until one got to the forehead where a broke horn was still present.

"...Her name is Princess Gilia. She's the Goddess of Overcoming Disabilities and Patron Goddess of Cripples. She travels the land helping ponies and other creatures who have been crippled or disabled, helping them overcome them and become better..." said Fizzlepop, her voice even and clear, almost stoic.

"But...but..." Trixie stuttered, looking confused. "B-But you can be whatever God you want! Why...why would you..."

Fizzlepop looked at her. "...Because maybe I still want to become an Alicorn and be one that makes sure no pony goes what I went through again..."

Trixie prepared a retort...before Twilight cleared her throat. "Very good, Tempest...I mean that," she said with a smile.

"Thanks...glad someone feels that way," Fizzlepop replied, her and Trixie sharing a glare.

The Showmare, noticing the looks, decided not to push the issue and risk losing face... "...Well, whatever..."

"Now, let's work on the worshipers and then get started..." said Twilight...before casting the highest level exorcism, banishment, and purification spells she was physically capable of casting on the game to make sure another evil god didn't get involved.

Everyone stared at it for a moment...then Zecora made a purification circle around it just to make sure.

"Thanks Zecora..." said Twilight.

"You're quite welcome, my friend, I would not like in disaster this game to end," Zecora replied.

Session 97.19 Unown3

(spoilers Daring Doubt)

"Are we really going to do this?" Bon Bon asked. "AK Yearling did so many services for Equestria, saving Equestria from the lich queen, that most don't even know about. Demonizing her like this... "

"It's for the greater good," Maternity said. "I'm a ninja, being the 'bad guy' is something I accepted as part of my job."

"I WILL DESTROY YOU AND EVERY PONY ALIVE!" Ahuizotl roared.

It had taken all three of them to capture him alive. Starlight had new respect for Daring Do facing this monster on a regular basis.

"Well," Starlight said. "The straps are holding. Time for me to get started."

Bon Bon looked over the checked. "But why give him a higher pitched voice?"

"Makes him sound less evil," Starlight shrugged.

Maternity said, "Still surprised you didn't ask me to drag Caballeron down here."

Bon Bon said, "He's like Flim and Flam, he goes where the money leads. As soon as it's more profitable for him to do honest work, he'll flip sides. If there's one good thing about greedy ponies, it's how reliably predictable they are."

Starlight's horn glowed. "Don't worry GUARDIAN Ahuizotl, you won't remember any of this soon enough."

"GAURDIAN!? What the Tartarus are you even talking about!?" The ancient beast snarled.

"So happy you asked," Starlight said, her horn and eyes glowing.

Session 97.20 Unown3

(spoilers Daring Doubt)

"Welcome. The forth members of our cabal." Bon Bon said simply. "We don't have t-shirts, being a cabal at all, but Maternity bakes cookies every other meeting, and I provides sweets."

YK Yearling sigh, "I'm sure I'll like them... Looks my career as a writers is over. Who knew Ahuizotl could be an exceptional author."

"He's just the new big thing," Starlight said. "Ponies always fixate on new fads. You still have a fanatical fan base, or rather, Daring Do does."

"I really wish you'd told me about all this BEFORE! I knew Ahuizotl believed everything he said since he couldn't lie... Creatures are wrong when being honest all the time. Tracking you down sure was easy..."

Bon Bon said, "It was supposed to be. I practically invited you here. And we brought you here so we could apologize."

Maternity said, "Just because we did this doesn't mean we like it."

Starlight sighed, "This is to protect Twilight's reign."

AK Yearling said, "So you've been 'cleaning house' of all the trouble makers one by one?"

Maternity said, "Those we can find."

Starlight said, "Which is ALSO why you're here. We're serious that we're sorry. But giving Ahuizotl a completely different motivation and goals was the only real way to get him to change."

"What about Caballeron?"

"That was ALL Fluttershy! ... " Starlight said. "I've honestly found it weird that she was ale to reform Discord, DISCORD! Who drove ponies insane because he was bored! ... AND CELESTIA DIDN'T THINK to have her try to reform Cozy Glow or Tirek!!!!"

Daring Do said, "You think being blasted three times with the Elements, twice to petrify him, once to restore him, subtly gave him an attitude adjustment?"

Starlight shuddered."I really really really really really really REALLY hope that is NOT the case, AT ALL, since we have enough forces out there who try to brainwash ponies 'for their own good.'"

"Like you?"

"Like us." Starlight said sadly. "The point is, it's just odd Celestia never thought to have Fluttershy gives reformation therapy to THEM. Discord was a sadistic bully. Tirek is an entitled bully. And Cozy Glow is a manipulative bully. And Chrysalis is a racist bully. I honestly never got why Celestia never let Fluttershy try to reform them... "

"So besides inviting me here for an apology, why?"

"Basically," Maternity said. "To let you know that you should still do what you do best. Hunt down and lock away loose or vulnerable evil or cursed artifacts. Only now without a thief or a monster at your back."

"... That will make my job easier. You guys do realize you're likely to become the NEXT big shadowy threat right?"

Starlight said, "That's why we're going to erase our own memories of everything once we're done so we don't begin 'taking care of' POTENTIAL trouble makers."

"Ah. That include erasing my memories?"

"No."

Session 97.21 Ardashir

To celebrate Ahuitzotl's kind-of-redemption, Dash and Fluttershy had -- very carefully -- invited him to game night.

Unfortunately they hadn't considered just what sort of games to play.

"WHA-AA-AT?" Ahuitzotl tossed down his controller in disgust. He pointed at the screen with his third hand. "What have I done to deserve this insult?? It is not enough I see books written by that thief Daring Do in your library where they will poison the minds of children --"

***

In the library, Twilight sobbed over her once-beloved Daring Do books as Spike stood nearby, a box of tissues in his claw.

"Fake," the Princess of Friendship sobbed. "All fake!"

***

"But now you mock me by presenting me with my greatest enemy from the days before Daring Do!"

"Uh," Dash looked at the screen. All she saw was the usual set-up screen for the game The Mare In the Silver Mask Saves The World Again Part XCVII. "Okay, Zottie, I don't get it. That's just Mexicolt's greatest luchador, and --" She shut her mouth with an audible gulp as the monster growled.

"Her!" Ahuitzotl stabbed a claw at El Santo like it was an obsidian knife. "Years ago! I tried to protect my sacred valley by raising a volcano through Mexicolt City, and she challenged me to a three falls match. And won! So I had to return to my pyramid and allow that tomb to be plundered."

"Huh?" Dash remembered something Twi told her. "Hey, wasn't that the store of artifacts that they built the Mexicolt Museum of Antiquities around? And, hey!" She frowned as Ahuitzotl waved his third claw dismissively, "How does trying to destroy a whole city fit in with 'just defending my valley'?"

"And if you wanted ponies to know about your culture, wouldn't studying the less sacred artifacts teach them? Not that I'm telling you what to do, of course." Fluttershy hurriedly added, fluttering back out of reach as Ahuitzotl shook his fist at the screen.

"Ponies can know what I want them to know about my people," he sniffed and waved one claw. "And the city, eh, what is one city less here and there?"

Before either pony could say more screams sounded in the hallway. Sandbar came staggering in.

"Out there.. in the hall..." He turned green. "No head, torn open chest, beating heart!" His eyes rolled up and he collapsed in a heap as Ahuitzotl clapped his claws and laughed.

"I knew my display for your upcoming 'Night of the Dead' would impress the little ones!" He walked into the hall and returned with something that made even Dash turn green -- a massive thing like a headless and fleshless Yeti, its rib cage hanging open, and a beating heart that dripped blood in the middle of it. Ahuitzotl patted it affectionately. "Lord Smoking Mirror, you never fail to impress!"

Dash finally forced her gorge back down. Fluttershy tried to revive Sandbar. "Yeesh, Zottie, why would you leave some terrifying thing with a fake beating heart like that sitting out in the hallway where the students could see it?"

Ahuitzotl blinked.

"What fake?"

Session 97.22 Unown3

"So.... " Spike said over his microphone to his raid mates as they were now in the boss battle with the corrupted Ember. "Is this a boss battle where we get the bad ending if we take out Ember? Like Shining Armor back in the Crystal Empire expansion?"

"We took out Spike and Garble who were corrupted just by punching the curse out of them!" Gilda The Human said.

"That does suggest a fall in quality of the gameplay, or a dissonance between the writing staff," REAL_Princess said.

"Wouldn't you know about that Twilight? The Ascension story pack WAS what they hired you and Sunset to work on!" Rainbow Dash asked. "Hey! Do you know any insider tips?!"

"It's not like I was privy to every boss fight design!" REAL_Princess said. "I"m just saying that after we had to come up with a unique way to save Prince Shining Armor, just beating up victims of corruption to free them feel contrived."

"Thanks," human Shining Armor said.

Session 97.23 Unown3

"PRINCE BUTTON MASH!"

"Whao! What's with that flash of light and... whao!" Button Mash looked up... at himself? As a teenage colt? "COOL! Waaaaaiiit! You can't be me! You don't have mustache!"

"You save Sweetie Belle's life five times when she first played Cavecraft, and she still thinks she saved your life!"

Okay, Button Mash knew he'd never told anyone that!

"This time travel spell doesn't last long! Legend of Cadence Maker will never be as long as Delete Command is criticizing the Tile Dungeon in Shining's Awakening Remake! You're it's only hope!" Teenage Prince Button Mash began to vanish in white light. "Oh! And mom says to tell mom to punch Discord in the fac-" He vanished.

"... I wonder what that last part was about! No time to think! Gotta save Legend of Cadence Maker!"

"And that is why the Tile Dungeon section of the new version of Shining's Awakening is merely padding, a waste of your time, and doesn't even offer any final reward when you've completed them all!" Said a gray pegasus stallion with a 'delete' key symbol for his cutie mark, his male an almost neon blue. Speaking to his audience about his review of the latest game.

"OBJECTION!" Came the echoing voice of Prince Button Mash. (Even if he technically hadn't had a coronation yet). He teleported dramatically in front of the crowd of gamer ponies. "The Tile Dungeon DOES have a reward! The reward of the act of creation! They aren't Diggy's Tile Dungeons, they're YOUR Tile Dungeons! And given Shining's Awakening's theme of dreams, the Tile Dungeon's often resulting bizarre experience fits perfectly! After all, dreams are our experiences pulled together and then us trying to put them into a shape that makes sense! And what reward would it even be? Better armor? Better weapon? A nice shiny horse-apple? At that point in the game, all that's left anyway is to enter the final dungeon. And it would distract from the truth. Do we ask what 'final reward' we get to 'finishing' Ponario Brothers Maker? Acts of creation aren't meant to be 'finished' for a prize. The creation itself is SUPPOSED to be the reward! So says Button Mash! Prince of Gaming!"

Session 97.24 Mtangalion

The ponies at the "Shining's Awakening" discussion panel stared for nearly five whole seconds, then burst out laughing.

An overweight unicorn shook his head. "That's real cute, kid... but anypony at these gaming conventions can put on a cheap costume and brag about being the prince of whatever. It doesn't mean anything."

An earth pony that could have been related to Mudbriar gave him a pitying glance. "Any insight you might have concerning this game is surely not unique or insightful. Gamers like myself were playing the original Ponicon version of the game before you were even born."

The pegasus with the delete key cutie mark nodded smugly. "I'm a professional game reviewer, working at a successful gaming magazine, and... who did you say you were again?"

Button Mash had all but withered beneath the verbal assault... but now he stood up straight again, grinning sharply. "I just told you who I am. Maybe I'd better tell you in a way you won't forget!" He lit his horn, focusing... and the entire convention floor began to warp and twist!

"What the... !?" The unicorn found himself in a big shiny race kart, one that seemed familiar somehow. More gamers and the reviewer were in similar karts, gathered at some kind of starting line. "Wait, is this... Ponio Cart Racing?!!" A tone beeped, counting down, and his hoof moved by itself, jamming the gas pedal down all the way. "It's a trick!" he stammered. "That colt's got a mark for illusions!"

"It sure feels real to me!" screamed the earth pony, as his cart looped through the other convention halls, then outside the building, doing a vertical loop that shouldn't have been possible even with magic. From there, the track flew on rainbows right into the sky, then plunged into the ocean before resurfacing and looping back to the convention hall. "I think I'm gonna be... urk!"

"Whatever stunt you're trying to pull," declared the game reviewer, "I'm going to give this phony game a very low score indeed!" His car promptly got bombed right off the track by mushrooms, respawning in last place.

Session 97.25 Mtangalion

Discord tapped a Canterlot Chronicle headline with a claw... NEW ALICORN PRINCE?! GAMING CONVENTION MADNESS! ... as he glared down at Button Mash. "I have just one thing to say to you!"

Button gulped. "W-what's that?"

Discord grinned devilishly. "Good job!" Confetti and streamers burst forth, and the air was filled with the sounds of whistles, fireworks, and cowbells. Another flash-pop, and Discord wore a pitch-black hooded robe. "You have done well, my young apprentice," he rasped. "With your burgeoning powers and talent for chaos, you probably don't even need the rest of your Discord Favors..."

Button booped Discord's nose."Nice try, but I'm keeping those."

Discord shrugged, tossing the robe away. A cat yowled 'off-screen' where the robe landed. "It was worth a shot..."

Session 97.26 Kendell2

The group decided, given the length of the campaign, to take a break and relax a bit.

Twilight introduced Bright Eyes and Starlight to books she really liked.

Rarity was giving Bon Bon pointers on her intended modeling career, which the younger pony took to quite well.

"Wow, Applejack, I didn't know you knew medicine," said Sweetheart, sitting next to Applejack.

The farmer gave a chuckle. "When you live on a farm, you need tah know a thing or two."

Melody chuckled, listening to Shining tell a story Twilight knew very well. "Wow, sounds like you got off a big show for your lady."

Shining nodded. "Yeah, and she still liked it despite everything...never really got into music though, just wasn't my thing...of course people in our universe burst into song spontaneously."

"Huh, so does ours," Melody replied. "And yeah, I can dig that. Everyone has their own thing. Nothing wrong with that...what is your thing?"

"Being the co-ruler of a lost empire." Shining chuckled at Melody's face.

Rainbow Dash on the other hoof, introduced Clover and Patch to Ponymon, which as it turned out didn't exist in their own universe. She had extra copies specifically so she could have additional teams (an advantage one tended t have when they were a Wonderbolt and thus made a good bit of money).

"So, how you doing, Clover?" Patch asked, looking over.

"I think I'm doing okay, but I'm not sure," Clover replied.

"Huh...why are all your Pokemon different colors than mine?" the prankster asked.

Rainbow Dash blinked, looking over. Her jaw dropped. "You have an entire team of Shiny Ponymon?!"

Clover blinked. "I guess...what does that mean?"

"They're really rare Ponymon who are only supposed to happen like one in a thousand!"

"Actually the correct probability in that generation is 16/65536 or 1/4096," replied Twilight helpfully.

"Wow..." Clover replied. "I just thought they looked nice..."

"Even your...FEMALE starter?" said Rainbow Dash. "...How far are you even into the game?"

"...I'm just about to go into the first gym..."

"...Tell me when you can trade..."

Author's Note

Session 97.0 Mtangalion
Session 97.1 Ardashir
Session 97.2 Ardashir
Session 97.3 Mtangalion
Session 97.4 Unown3
Session 97.5 Unown3
Session 97.6 sonicandmario826
Session 97.5 Mtangalion Ardashir (alternate scene)
Session 97.6 Unown3
Session 97.7 Mtangalion
Session 97.8 Ardashir
Session 97.9 Mtangalion
Session 97.10 Unown3
Session 97.11 Ardashir
Session 97.12 Ardashir
Session 97.13 whitebearboy
Session 97.14 Mtangalion
Session 97.15 Unown3
Session 97.16 Mtangalion (I went back and filled in the battle against Dark Dragon Mage Spike)
Session 97.17 Ardashir
Session 97.18 Kendell2
Session 97.19 Unown3 (Spoilers for Daring Doubt.)
Session 97.20 Unown3
Session 97.21 Ardashir
Session 97.22 Unown3
Session 97.23 Unown3
Session 97.24 Mtangalion
Session 97.25 Mtangalion
Session 97.26 Kendell2

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?
What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Art by LeavingCrow

https://www.deviantart.com/leavingcrow/art/Chrysalis-game-800667488

Session 98

Session 98.0 Ardashir (Inspiration. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCm7QkpWidI ) And one extra line by me.

To relax in one of the brief moments when neither the school, nor Ponyville, nor Equestria or the once independent nations becoming its dependencies were in peril the girls and Spike played a quick game of O&O.

It was not going as planned.

"Okay," Dash pointed at the map of a tavern where their figures stood along with an Earth pony farmer, surrounded by goblins. "How the hay is this happening?" She rolled the dice and groaned when they stopped. "What? A 1?!? Yeesh, Spike, did ya do something ta the dice?"

"Just a moment," Spike said as he rolled the dice. "The Goblin Chieftain astride his worg laughs at your puny assault -- but not too loud! Ulp," Spike swallowed as electricity seemed to flare in Dash's eyes. "Okay, now Sturdy Shoveler is making his attack."

"He'll blow it, I hope," Dash grumbled as she watched the dice roll, and then settle. "I don't bucking believe it! A natural 20?"

"And the Goblin Chieftain goes down, slain by a single blow of the shovel!" Spike tipped the mounted goblin figure over.

"Wow, we're doing lousy tonight." Pinkie lightly tapped Sturdy. "But it's not like I mind seeing an Earth pony win."

"Shouldn't we be happy that the bad guys are beaten?" Fluttershy looked around the table. Dash folded her forelegs and blew in annoyance. "I mean, the dice are acting odd. We all keep losing on our rolls or getting hit by the goblins, and Sturdy keeps beating them." She frowned, very gently, and rubbed her chin. "That is kind of odd."

"I'm getting curious myself," Twilight flew over to her chalkboard and wrote down some numbers. She worked a few equations and tossed the chalk down in disgust. "Ugh! Statistically speaking this is impossible!" She flew back to the table and pointed at the farmer figure. "He's killed more goblins than the rest of us together! Spike! Was our getting shown up by some shovel-swinging farmpony deliberate?"

"No. You just rolled that badly." Spike shrugged and tapped the dice. "Blame the Random Dice Alicorn, not me!"

Everypony looked at Pinkie Pie.

"I swear that isn't me!"

"I could have told you Spike didn't plan this when my character died darling," Rarity said.

Applejack stomped a forehoof. "And what's wrong with farm ponies?!"

Spike sat back with a groan as his friends started to quarrel.

Far away and yet quite nearby in his chaos realm, Discord sniffed and folded his arms as he watched the game.

"Bah! Random Dice Alicorn! That's my family's specialty, not Celly's!" He snapped his claws and tossed a little more chaos through the realms at the dice. "Let that keep them busy. Such an insult! I'll just keep searching for wherever those escaped villains are hiding on my own and find them. After all," he asked his reflection, which wore glasses and held a notepad while he had neither, "How can I possibly get in trouble doing that?"

His reflection just held up the notepad. "Want me to list the ways?"

Session 98.1 Jarkes (spoilers for A Horse Shoe-In)

"Okay, be totally honest, Trixie," Spike said, "Did you never actually want the Vice Headmare position and go through all those shenanigans to eventually lead to Sunburst coming in to take the job so that his and Starlight's relationship no longer had to be a long-distance one?"

"Trixie will neither confirm nor deny that allegation," Trixie said, smirking. "Why do you ask?"

"Because I walked in on them doing... things I would have rather not seen them doing," Spike responded, his eye twitching.

"...What kind of-"

"NOT sexual things if that was your immediate thought."

Session 98.2 Mtangalion

Spike the Dragon squirmed in his seat, even as his claws danced over the keyboard, directing his unicorn bard Garbunkle to launch another volley of arrows towards the giant evil black-scaled version of Dragon Lord Ember. “This just feels all kinds of wrong, fighting one of our friends! Hey Garble, don’t you think this is…” His eyes grew wide. “... weird?”

“You like that?!” bellowed Garble, clicking his mouse in a frenzy. His griffon warrior spun his new axe like a whirlwind, wailing away at the ‘Queen of Ashes.’ “Take that, you pompous bossy scepter-stealing jerk! Hah, this is great! Take this! Ooh, and that! And this too! Die, die, die!”

Princess Twilight frowned. “I know some ponies say that working out your frustrations in a fantasy setting can be therapeutic, but that just doesn’t seem healthy.” She noticed that Starlight had tensed up, blushing and sweating a bit. “Um, Starlight? Anything I should know about?”

“N-nope!” yelped Starlight, focusing on the game again. “Nothing at all!”

Earlier…

Starlight Glimmer leaned back in her office chair, rear hooves propped up on her desk. “Hmm, no, I don’t think so.” Her features twisted into an evil smirk. “Having the books sorted by spine color just isn’t working for me. Sort them in reverse alphabetical order! And dust that third shelf again, you missed a spot.”

Twilight Sparkle bowed humbly before Starlight, her simple maid’s uniform rustling. “Right away, Mistress Glimmer! It’s my pleasure to serve you in any way that you require!” She rushed right over to the bookshelf and started painstakingly resorting the books by hoof. “I’m so glad that you’re in charge now, Mistress. After all, I only got lucky and blundered my way through everything, since I don’t really have any talent or ability at all. If only you’d become an Alicorn princess instead of me...”

Starlight’s deeply contented sigh was interrupted by the ding of the egg timer on her desk. “Aw… It’s been an hour already?”

Twilight set the books aside and trotted behind a folding screen, looking back at Starlight with a sly grin. There was the sound of a zipper and rustling cloth, and Alisa padded into view, wearing the same smile, now with gleaming fangs. “Alisa’s also happy to serve, if you kept promise.”

Starlight sat up, looking away. “Right… my end of the deal.” Her horn flashed, teleporting three large crates into the room. “There you go… two hundred copies of the ward you gave me. Enough to blanket all of Icehome twice over, I’m guessing.”

Alisa had already opened one of the boxes, and she was inspecting the complex runes engraved on the clear crystal held in her paws. “Icehome yes, and Ponyville too,” she growled.

Starlight blinked. “Did Twilight… I mean, did the real Princess Twilight approve that? I’ve never seen that style of rune-work. What do those ward crystals even protect a place against?”

Three more diamond wolves padded into the office, loading the crates onto wheeled pallets to take them away. Alisa herself shivered, gray and white fur fluffing up a bit. “Fear, anger, hatred.” She gave Starlight an oddly serious look, then took the ward crystal that she still held and pressed it into Starlight’s hoof. “You keep this one. Figure it out, then you’ll know why!”

Session 98.3 Unown3

"I spy with my little eye..."

"I think we've run out of things with to spy with your eye Grubber..." Shadow Tempest was hanging from chains, along with Grubber.

"Sorry Fizzy..."

"Though I wish you could reach my sore spot I have."

"Really? Where?"

"My back, feels like somepony put a knife in there."

"I said I was sorry! He said he'd kill you if I didn't play along!"

"... At least Twilight will realize I'm missing and come to help soon..."

"Didn't you say you were gonna go find yourself and help bring peace to the rest of the storm empire and not to wait up for you?"

"... DAMMIT!"

Session 98.4 Ardashir

On the EG side of the mirror gate, Fluttershy watched the fight against Dark Ember proceed.

"Hah! Take another one!" That new black-furred griffon player seemed wildly eager as he hacked wildly at the Queen of Ashes. It was odd the way he spoke, like he knew her personally. "Still think ya shoulda exiled me ta puny Pony town? Man, how I love this!"

She staggered back with an agonized roar, looking ready to collapse -- again...

"Great work, everyone!" Shining Armor said.

"This time's gotta finish her," Rainbow Dash charged in and put a few more blows in on Ember. She howled in pain and sank to her knees. Applejack and Big Mac were right behind, their blows driving her back against the wall, which oddly enough lit up like it was waking damage. Fluttershy frowned and focused on it as suddenly...

"FOOLS!" Dark Ember roared as suddenly her health soared back to near normal. At the same time she gave a fire blast at everyone before her, driving them all back as they took near fatal damage.

Groans sounded over the link.

"How does she keep doing that? Yeesh, we should had her beat thee times over by now!"

"Everyone," Sunset said on the link, "I'm starting to think we should just call this a night. We're getting pretty frustrated, and nothing we do seems to put her down."

Everyone''s attention returned to Dark Ember as she cut loose with another wide area blast, which also made that wall glow.

"I am the Dragon Lord! The power of all dragonkind flows through me, no loner held back by any weak concern for others, and --" She noticed Fluttershy standing near that one section of the cavern wall. "Hey, get away from there!"

"Eeep!" Fluttershy barely dodged the dark fire blast hurled at her. "Girls! Everyone! There's something behind this wall, and whatever it is, it's what keeps healing Ember!"

"How's she sure?" That new unicorn sorceress said, the one who always took the flashiest gear. Rarity was delighted with her.

"Any plan would be better than what we're doing now," Garbunkle the bard said as he sent a flurry of arrows into the wall. It partly crumbled. He added, "Hey, you fighters, keep Ember off our backs until we discover what's inside here!"

"You got it, Spike!" The black griffon said as he attacked the Queen of Ashes again with limitless enthusiasm. As he did Fluttershy and Garbunkle smashed through the wall and found the source of Dark Ember's power.

"Oh, my goodness!" Fluttershy's gasp as audible over the link. "Dragon eggs!"

It was a cave full of them, spotted and multi-colored dragon eggs. They glowed, weakly, and as Ember was knocked down again only to rise at full power the eggs flickered and glowed less brightly.

"That's how she stays so strong," Garbunkle sounded shocked. "The enchantment that turned her evil and made her powerful is drawing its strength from the life-forces of the hatchlings. If we just beat her up, we'll stop her eventually, yeah, but we're gonna destroy all the unborn dragons!"

"And wipe out some of Equestria's best allies against Tirek and the rest of the villains." Sunset tried to move to aid Fluttershy and Garbunkle, but Dark Ember shoved them all back and entered the egg chamber. She breathed a wall of green flame that kept the others out of the chamber.

"Get away from those eggs!" She roared, breathing fire over their heads. "I'm the Dragon Lord -- I mean, Queen of Ashes, they're mine to protect -- no, use! Arrrgh!" Briefly Ember flashed back to her original appearance. Her health showed, low and weak, as it should be after the fight she'd been through. Another health bar showed for the eggs as well, just as low. When she spoke she sounded weak, drained. "Whats wrong with me?"

"Stop her now!" Dash tried to batter her way through the magical wall. "We beat her in there, she's done!"

"But the eggs!" Garbunkle called back.

"Hey, remember history class, when ya wanna make an omelet?" Dash tried to force it again. Dark Ember seemed paralyzed. "Yeesh, Flutters, do something!"

Fluttershy touched one of the eggs and eeped as a small window popped up.

FIGHT DARK EMBER/HEAL DARK EMBER.

CHOOSE NOW.

Session 98.5 Mtangalion

Human Gilda’s character, the griffon shadowmage Rockstar Queen, peered at the FIGHT DARK EMBER / HEAL DARK EMBER options. “Nice! So, which one gives better loot?”

Fluttershy’s Dire Bear, Flutter Nice, slowly turned to face them, giving each and every one of her friends a Stare that seemed to come right out of their computer monitors. “We’re saving Ember AND the precious baby dragons.”

Even as far away as Griffonstone, Greta froze and Gabby abandoned her popcorn to dive behind the couch and hide. There were a lot of crashes and thuds outside Gilda’s hut, probably griffons watching the Royal Livestream who had forgotten how to fly for a moment. Queen Gilda didn’t cower, but she did need a few quick deep breaths before she could key her microphone and say “You heard her! Let’s do this!” Her griffon Priest of Boreas, Noneofyourbusiness (long story), lunged across the room to personally peck the HEAL DARK EMBER button.

Half a dozen healing spells from Gilda, Sunset, and Fluttershy flashed over the eggs, and the corrupted Ember began to laugh, posing with wings spread wide. “Yesss! Replenish the source of my power! You’ve sealed your own doom, fools!”

“I don’t think so!” declared Spike the Dragon Mage, now grinning and standing tall with staff raised. “While the others kept you busy, I figured out Tirek’s curse, and I know how to beat it!” With a wave of his claws, floating crystals were revealed, surrounding Ember. They erupted in emerald flames, creating a ritual circle that froze Ember in place… and created a glowing purple bubble that expanded to fill half of the arena!

Inside the purple bubble, an otherworldly scene played out… on a barren rocky cliff in the Dragon Lands, cute baby dragon versions of Ember, Spike, and Garble sat, paying attention to a teen dragon. “Never trust a pony!” the teen dragon lectured. “They’re greedy and totally not cool. They steal dragon eggs and kill dragons for their treasure! Trust in the Dragon Lord, and Lord Tirek!”

In the real world, Spike the Dragon Mage explained, “Tirek planted three false visions in Ember’s mind! Defeat these nightmares from the inside, and the Rainbow of Darkness will bind Lord Ember no longer!”

Human Shining Armor, Rainbow, and Sunset shrugged at each other, then charged on ahead into the bubble. There were poofs and clouds of smoke, and suddenly they appeared as random teenage dragons themselves.

“No you don’t!” bellowed Crunch. “Soft meddling pony things will stay away!” He leaped into the dream too, turning into an adult dragon, and all the other baby dragons started poofing into rock monsters, joining in the fight. Only the baby dragon version of Ember remained to gawk at the sudden and fierce battle.

A second dream bubble formed, showing an older Ember in black iron armor, commanding a whole army of armored dragons. “Go!” she bellowed, lifting the Bloodstone Scepter high. “Fall upon Equestria and BURN IT ALL. Leave the lesser creatures no place to hide… their magic belongs to Lord Tirek! The age of ponies ends today!”

The other half of the raid charged into that bubble, along with an enraged Lavan. The dream crumbled… most of the dragon army became an army of rock golems fighting for Lavan instead.

The battles were hard and brutal, but in a surprisingly short time, all the boss minions were struck down.

“No!” howled Crunch as he fell. “Rock does not… break!”

“Curse these adventurers!” wailed Lavan. “I haven’t gathered enough magic for my ultimate form! Fall back… fall back, darn you!”

The first two dream bubbles imploded, throwing the raid back into the real world, and the final nightmare appeared…

… a wasteland of broiling skies and dead ash, spanning from horizon to horizon. In the midst of the desolation stood a truly titanic version of Ember, a dark rainbow sheen covering her pitch black scales. “You thought to control me?” she boomed. “Tirek the Pitiful, Tirek the Less than Nothing?” Ember lifted a tiny triangular amulet, and crushed it to dust between two claws. “I am a daughter of Tiamat! This world is mine, to own and use as I see fit, and I say: Let ALL be ash and dust beneath my feet!”

Garble the Dragon Brawler’s expression turned grim, and he seemed to find new strength, staring down the living apocalypse inside the dream bubble. “My love, my dear Ember… While I draw breath…” He hefted his hammer-axe and strode into the bubble. “This nightmare will NOT come to pass! Heroes! It would be my honor to fight by your side once more!”

Session 98.6 Alex Warlorn Ardashir Mtangalion sonicandmario826

"Applejack! Apple Bloom said blushing, "Yau won't believe it! Tender Taps just asked me on a date!"

"Well ain't that nice," Granny Smith smiled.

"Ah'm gonna have a talk with that colt," Big Mac said darkly, SPEAKING IN WHOLE SENTENCES! Uh-oh.

Big Mac opened the door to find Cheerilee, Marble Pie, and Sugar Belle all waiting for him with a set of four matching rings on a pink pillow.

"NOPE!" Big Mac closed the door.

Cheerilee said to her rivals turned fellows. "Okay alright girls, on three, THREE!" And the Earth Pony mares showed Earth Pony strength wasn't just for show as they lifted the barn off its foundations, exposing and bewildering the five inhabitants (including Winona!).

"YEP!" The three said together as they gently put down the house off to the side for the moment (they'd put it back later).

+++

Celestia said, "So thanks to the herd laws that were never taken off the books, Cheerilee, and Marble have proposed to Big Mac along with Sugar Belle... though Tealove and Fleetfoot seem to admit their love was based on a fantasy, nice to see you're also moved past him sister."

Luna said awkwardly, "Actually Celly, it was for a different reason: the thestrals have petitioned me to become their queen. I let them all alone without their goddess for a thousand years for no fault of their own and they kept their faith. They expected me to become their rulers as soon as I returned and I would free them of their isolated existed. I never did. I kept getting distracted. I owe them a thousand years in return." Luna's pegasus wings shape shift into bat wings while retaining her Alicorn appearance. "And I'm waiting for my prince to become a stallion as is apparently the strange laws of this era."

+++

Princess Luna walked into a massive cave in the mountains. Everything was silent. And then hundreds of pairs of glowing crimson eyes open up everywhere, all focused on her.

"I told everypony you were coming your Nightesty, the elders want to discuss the details of your coronation," called Windy Whisper's voice. Even she was excited at the idea of Luna taking her rightful place, the creator of her tribe, her goddess.

Five dark and handsome beefy thestral stallions approach, bowing low before Luna. "Your Majesty! We have been selected to offer your our... services."

"To aid you in choosing your Prince of the Night."

"Or Princes..."

"So you offer your services to me fully and utterly in anyway I deem fit?" Luna asked.

"We are yours to do with as your please our soon-to-be-rightful-queen."

Luna sighed, and blasted them, in a flash, two were now thestral colts... and one was now a mare in a frilly dress. The thestral former-stallions looked at each other in shock.
"Pipsqueak, here are your new servants and playmates."

Pipsqueak came out behind Luna. "Yay, I finally have some friends who like Luna as much as I do!"

The first former stallion said, "It's this or nothing, isn't it?"

Luna said, "Aye. Please him or I will be most displeased. Pipsqueak is to become my prince. You five will be his playmates. You will teach him about the thestrals, protect him and his family when I am unable to. Teach him our ways, and through him learn THEIR ways! We have bottled ourselves up for far too long."

The five bowed quickly. "Yes, your Nighesty!"

-

"Stupid dragons! Eating our gems and run off without paying for them! Princess Twilight is getting the bill for that! If I ever see a dragon again! It'll be too soon!"
Limestone Pie snarled, and stomped the ground.

From the shock wave, Holder's Boulder cracked, and crumbled, reveling a giant baby dragon within, that begins sucking on its own tail. Its eyes locked on Limestone Pie, only one thought enters its head as it silently looked at her: Mama!

Later, back at the farmhouse.

"Ugh. Mom! Dad! Marble! Somepony better help me get a pet bed and food and water bowl ready." She pointed at the huge baby dragon following behind her.

It pulled her close and began licking her with a long slimy tongue.

Limestone snorted, "And soon!"

+++

When the Pies sent a letter, they didn't expect Dragon Lord Ember to show up instead.

Ember said, "I hear you're the pony who tricked a dragon into thinking you're their mother."

Limestone was agitated. "For your information..."

The baby dragons slurped Limestone.

"I keep TELLING you not to do that!"

The baby dragon was silent for a moment then slurped her again.

Ember watched silently for a moment then said. "Yes, well, I have to make sure you can raise him. It takes a lot of strength to raise a dragon properly, after all."

Limestone Glared at her. Walked over to a giant diamond that Junior had been teething on. Hammered several punches into it, spelling out the words in shattered diamond 'THIS STRONG ENOUGH FOR YOU?'

Ember unfazed said, "That'll do."

+++

Reminds me of a fan comic where Spike begins breathing fire in anger when he reads his paperwork and finds out he's legally a "pet lizard", and Twilight frantically defends that they had no clue he was going to be sapient, and that she kept trying to bring it up with Celestia, but she kept side stepping the matter.

"Twilight, about my birth certificate, I'm not registered as your pet because you had no idea if I was going to be sapient or not did you?" Spike asked the strangely precise question. Then Spike bleached out a letter.

After reading it, Twilight said frantically.

"Uh oh... Find out if its growing five heads or has platinum scales! Hopefully it's just a baby kaiju-sized dragon egg! There is no way a normal dragon egg would take that long to hatch or be that big!"

+++

"'A proclamation by God-Mother Queen Tiamat.
many of our subjects, misled by a desperate conspiracy of dangerous and ill-designing drakes, have forgotten the allegiance which they owe to the power that has protected and supported them, and have declared rebellion and traitorously levied war against us.
It is the better part of wisdom to put a speedy end to such disorders.
We have thought fit to issue our royal proclamation that all our royal officers, both hatchery and raiders, are obliged to suppress such rebellion and bring the traitors to justice.
When the unhappy and deluded multitude against whom this force shall be directed shall become sensible of their error, I shall be ready to receive the misled with tenderness and mercy.
for those who persist in their treason For those who persist in their treason, the punishment shall be death by devouring alive.
given in parliament this 26th day of october in the year 970.
Greed Blessed the Queen.'"

Mina finished reading the original declaration of rebellion that Tiamat had sent to Princess Celestia, demanding the return of her subjects that had left the Dragon Lands for Equestria, and the Equestrian Parliament had been shuffled to Fillydelphia (much its discomfort) to be out of sight and forgotten about. Tiamat sending an official document had nearly never happened in history, only when she dealt with other creatures, and usually they wrote up the paper work, not her... the original document was said to be crudely written and had been carved into metal because it was easier to come by than paper in the Dragon Lands.

"Wage war?! Dad says we didn't even fight until they tried to force us to come back!" Mina snapped.

She and other Dragon Town dragons were snacking on the latest crazy to hit Fillydelphia's population of dragons. Baked Bads! Having seen that Spike had enjoyed them, the muffins that gave Ponyville food poisoning were delicious for the dragons!

And Tiamat herself had one of her heads in an office building... where a video game company had used her image as the villain a RTS game...

All were surprised when the Dragon Queen left without leaving a blasted wasteland in her wake.

"HOW DID YOU DO IT?! Why aren't we all dragon chow?!"

"... We agreed to add a second campaign where the Dragon Lands conquer Equestria and crush Dragon Town into rubble..."

"Oh."

"Also, she gave ideas for one of the 'buildings' for the dragon side... did you know Tiamat owns a magic well to create skeleton dragons who want to continue serve Tiamat forever in this world instead of the next world? Well, I know now... "

+++

Grubber brightened up when he remembered, "What about that old friend at the Crystal empire you told me about or that team you were apart of to get Luna’s powers back?"

Tempest's eyes widened, "What?! We took a vow of silence, how did you find out about that?"

Grubber said, "You talk in your sleep."

Tempest glared, "What would you know about me while I sleep?"

"Cause you asked me to guard you while you slept cause you didn't want a yeti to kill you in your sleep."

"Oh, right."

Grubber said, "Princess Luna puts together her own private black ops team and she didn't give you a way to contact each other?"

"Not like we have a secret hoof shake... though Trixie wanted one. And... 'my friend at the crystal empire'? It's not like we have dragon mail... by the time she realizes I'm not replying to her letters, it might be too late."

"Well I know you're not the type to just sit somethin' out! Come on Fizzy! If there's one thing about you, you never give up, you never stop fighting. Come on!"

Session 98.7 Unown3

Starlight sighed as the tea-party for the cabal (herself, Daring Do, Maternity Love-Tap, and Bon-Bone/Sweetie Drops). She thought of Discord... he likely knew exactly what they were doing, but was acting on plausible deniability, that would be just like him.

"But finding where the missing villains have gone has become a problem. Maybe we should focus on kidnapping the sirens and giving them an attitude adjustment next."

"Oooh, I think you'll be doing something else instead..." Said a dark voice that Starlight had hoped she'd heard the last of.

"SOMBRA!" Starlight gasped, hoping to teleport away but was blasted in the horn with Sombra's parasitic black crystals feeding off her horn's magic, clearing them away would take time.

'But that means Sombra is WORRIED about me! He wouldn't do that unless he thought I was a threat! Which means he's not as powerful as he was before!' Starlight thought logically.

"I must say, when I began spying on you ugly light creatures, I didn't expect to find a group of ponies going around and mind controlling villains to go along... no, wait, that's a lie. You ponies do that all the time. I'm just surprised at any of you being so, HONEST about it! Ha ha!"

Starlight braced herself, she knew what was coming next.

The Umbrum Pony materialized out of the smoke and shadow. "But things change. You'll be brainwashing villains... but they'll be all secretly loyal to me... don't feel bad Starlight, nothing will really change, you and I are so much alike..."

Starlight looked down sadly. Her voice breaking, she said, "Yes, we are."

Sombra stopped. "What did you say?"

"... We are alike... We both brainwash ponies to do what we want then to do. We were both alone. We both loved somepony, we both lost somepony, and we were both too blind by the loss to-" Tendrils of darkness were wrapped around Starlight's throat, choking her.

"WHAT THE TARTARUS COULD YOU POSSIBLY KNOW ABOUT THAT!"

"We-ACK! Found your study! Twilight told me what they found out! She thought it was... uuugh, good... lesson... "

Sombra dropped the mare, she hit the floor of the cabal's basement dwelling (away from their families and friends so none would be accused if the cabal were found out). This was NOT how the script was supposed to go! He couldn't get into her head if she calmly accepted her demons!!!

"... It's unbearable isn't it? Being without them. Feeling all alone in the world. Hating this unfair world for taking them away from you. Having what your destiny is decided for you. Having nothing but your anger to lash out at the world. Deciding you're going to fix everything with your own four hooves no matter how many tell you you're wrong..."

Sombra couldn't take it anymore. How long had it been? Centuries? Since ANYONE had spoken to him without brainwashed obedience, hatred, sycophant or cold contempt? Not since Her...

"BE QUIET!" Sombra blasted Starlight in the head. "FORGET I WAS EVER HERE!" The crystals around Starlight's horn vanished. And Sombra fled. He couldn't stand being here a second longer!

Starlight awakened... "Ugh... okay, the scent of dark magic is everywhere and my neck feels like a giant mistook me for a doll and tried to pull it off and I have no idea what happened. Time to have the others check me for hypnotic suggestions."

++++

'If I return without the army Grogar demanded I come back with now... My obliteration is assured.' Grogar's spell made it so Grogar had to simply will Sombra's death and he'd be no more.

Sombra hated and despised what he had to do next. But his choices were exhausted.

Sneaking into his chambers that had been sealed off and hidden since ignorant is obviously the best defense against ideas you don't like, he found the door. THE door.

Sombra sighed. And with surprisingly little resistance... the door swung open.

A towering dark gray unicorn mare with a mane of shadows like his immediately formed from the darkness and stepped through. Smaller, younger shadow ponies followed behind her.

Sombra fell to his knees and lowered his head.

"Mother, I-"

Queen Rabia back handed Sombra so hard that he was knocked clean off his hooves.

"TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH!" She snarled. "I can't help but notice that you didn't even TRY to free us once the Crystal Empire was yours again! Or when you ruled it the first time!"

"I wanted to make sure everything was ready for-"

Rabia kicked him. "Don't lie to your own mother! When that witch of light Amore destroyed your father, my dear Lord Miedo... I had such high hopes you would do what none of us could! Instead you allowed yourself to become distracted by these unnatural light creatures!"

Sombra said nothing.

Rabia looked around. "So where is that crystal witch who tried to turn you against your own kind?"

"She's ... Radiant Hope has been dead for centuries..." Sombra whispered.

"Good riddance to bad rubbish."

Sombra clenched his fangs at her insult.

"Come along my family, your brother has finally done something right."

And come they did. Ponies of shadow and smoke, for whom dark magic flowed through their veins.

Among them: A very attractive Umbrum mare named Lujuria who brushed against her brother as she passed. A stallion named Codicia wearing gold finery. A less beautiful mare named Envidia looking darkly at Lujuria.

A umbrum who yawned as he came out, forming more slowly than the rest and more messily, Perezoso. "I thought we were going to have servants to carry us when we got out?" (Far away, Prince Blueblood sneezed.)

There were two or three others that Sombra instinctively knew, but Sombra was distracted when he met face to face with his little sister for the first time. The little Umbrum clearly being the youngest of the group.

"So this is outside..." Ira said looking around.

"Not quite, we'll be outside in a moment," Rabia said. "Then you'll see the sky, and the crystal ponies that imprisoned us sweetie..."

"Wait... I... have creatures that will be of use to us in destroying the Alicorns so they won't meddle with us again." Sombra chose his words carefully.

"Is that so?" Ira asked, the look in her eyes... it was the same as her mother's.

Sombra looked at her... her eyes... they were like that Filly's.

"There's a filly I think you'll be great friends with," Sombra said.

+++

"Hi," said Ira with a pleasant smile and innocent eyes.

"You're thinking of five different ways to use him for your own ends aren't you?" Cozy Glow asked immediately.

"Yep!" Ira nodded politely.

"Wanna have a tea party?" Cozy Glow invited.

"SURE!" Ira hadn't had one where her party guests weren't rocks and mushrooms.

Far away, Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara both sneezed.

+++

"Welcome to the alliance of Tambelon Lady Rabia, we accept the Umbrum, when Equestria is conquered, the Crystal Empire and the crystal ponies will be yours to do with as you please," Grogar said.

Chrysalis shuddered in disgust. 'I've put up with a lot with Grogar. But the UMBRUM!? My babies can't feed off despair! These things bring nothing but darkness and gloom wherever they go! Instead of turning them into happy obedient live stock to be ruled over by the superior race.' "My babies... DO NOT go anywhere near our new 'allies!' Their aura of bleakness is likely to make you ill!"

A changeling who was about to ask to join in Cozy Glow and Ira's tea party (both already thinking of how to turn the changeling into an expendable pawn on their way to becoming 'joint' queens (for however long it took them to stab each other in the back).

"Yes mother! I obey!" The changeling turned around and went back the way she came.

+++

Author's Notes:
If one of the Elements of Magic Spell Copy Sombra's fear magic (though Celestia and Twilight already have), and zap Sombra with it... His worst fear is Radiant Dawn... not saying anything, just looking at him sadly, knowing he's the cause. (also possibly tying into the fact Radiant Dawn actually HATED destiny, and saw herself as an Alicorn but choose not to become one. Where Sombra has done nothing but side with his tormentors, being everything they said he was).

Anyone is free to write that. I imagine it being a nice use of things in the finale.

And I can imagine when Chrysalis when defeated, she mocks that she created an entire generation of changelings loyal to her kind's true path, and her precious babies make sure Twilight's reign isn't some perfect utopia, and they'll be the shadow to Equestria's 'oh so perfect' light. (Similar to Mammoth Mogul saying he was tired to trying to fight Sonic who was protected by fate, so instead promised to make his heirs never known true peace.)

Session 98.8 Mtangalion

Shining Armor’s raid followed Garble into the final dream bubble, glancing around uneasily. It looked even more bleak from the inside. In the distance, they could see that half of the Everfree Forest was ash. Ponyville and its surrounding adventure town was on fire, and Canterlot’s mountain peak had shattered and collapsed.

And Dark Ember clearly hadn’t even been to those places yet. The corrupted dragon was big enough to crush most of Ponyville with a casual stroll.

A raid warning appeared on all of their screens: (Dark Ember will become aware of your presence in 2:00 … 1:59 … 1:58 …)

Purple Pup gulped. “Is... is there even anything worth saving here?”

“It’s a dream,” said the Spike the Dragon Mage firmly. “Remember that! Tirek doesn’t want the world destroyed, he wants to bring Ember under his complete and irrevocable control. That’s what this is about.”

Sunset sighed, folding her arms. “I don’t suppose we can dream up a tank platoon and some cruise missiles or something. I mean, what can we do against Ember? Stab her toe claws?”

The pony Shining Armor chuckled grimly. “Actually, it’s funny how often that works. Remember when we fought that giant diamond dog, Mongrel the Conqueror? ‘Argh, my ankles! My one weakness!’”

Rainbow Dash waved a hoof defiantly. “This battle wouldn’t be here if it was totally impossible! We’ve got sixty seconds left… quick, how does the fight go?”

The human Shining Armor hesitated. “I… don’t know.”

Rainbow blinked. “Whaaaat!? What happened to being prepared?”

Shining turned, glaring. “What happened? What happened is that *someone* insisted on activating the secret mythic version of the battle!”

Flutter Nice blushed, trying to duck down and hide, even though her dire bear was the biggest creature in the raid.

“Only a few guilds in the world have beat it,” continued Shining, “and for some reason, they’re not telling anybody what the trick is!”

Rockstar Queen pulled out her daggers, making them spark and seethe with shadow energy. “Well, I hope nobody’s planning to chicken out, cause this griffon doesn’t back down!”

Queen Gilda smirked. “Maybe there’s some real griffon in hairless monkey me after all…”

Session 98.9 Alex Warlorn

Princess Twilight exclaimed, "YOU WANT TO WHAT?!"

Apple Bloom said, "We want to go see Cozy Glow in Tartarus."

Scootaloo said, "She's our responsibility, we got her into the school, we taught her, we couched her, we never saw the warning signs."

Sweetie Belle added, "And if Fluttershy can reform Discord," Sweetied added in a cheerful tone, "I still have nightmares about the Day of Chaos by the way, then we can reform Cozy Glow!"

Princess Twilight asked, "Wait, you still have nightmares about... why didn't Princess Luna help?"

"She did! That's why I don't wake up screaming and uh, need to change the sheets?"

Apple Bloom said, "Off topic! Ya know we're just gonna sneak in there if ya say no, so can we cut out the middle pony and just get yer permission?"

Twilight was surprised, the CMC normally weren't this straight forward ... okay, they WERE this straight forward, but about this sort of thing they TRIED to be subtle normally...

"I want to know that we at least TRIED to save her from herself!" Scootaloo snorted.

+++

Cozy Glow suddenly looked sickly.

"You okay?" Ira asked.

"I feel like somepony just felt COMPASSION for me somewhere!"

Session 98.10 Ardashir

"Okay girls, here we are." Apple Bloom pointed at the Tartarus Gates as they towered over them. Mighty and dark and barred, grim and fearsome to see, containing the worst evils in all of Equestria's history. And standing before them three adorable little fillies. "Ya got everything we should need? I got th' map." She held it up, managing not to shudder at the feel of the leather it was made of. Rumor had it that the map of Tartarus had been made long before ponies could even think, by some dreadful elder race long gone from the world.

"I've got the games we wanted to try playing with Cozy if she's interested," Sweetie Belle opened her saddlebags and levitated the boxes out. "Monopony, Crystals and Rainbows, that Paranoia game Miss Trixie said Cozy liked to pay with her. Yep, that's it!" She nodded and returned them to her bags.

"And I've got some treats," Scootaloo tapped her own saddlebags from whence emanated a delicious odor. "Pinkie was happy to make them."

"Okay, then." Apple Bloom took the amulet Miss Twilight gave her and lightly tapped the gates with it. With a deep metallic groan like a dying dragon, they opened. Within lay darkness, illuminated fitfully by scattered flickering lights. With gulps the three fillies walked in. "Heh! Kinda a great place for Nightmare Night, ain't it?"

Even as they did something huge and hairy loomed over them, growling in three voices at once.

"Hi, Cerberus!" The girls waved up at the huge multi-headed dog. "Miss Twilight said she was gonna send word we were coming. So let us in, okay?"

He glowered at them. With a deep 'woof' he pointed a paw back the way they had come.

"Okay," Sweetie gulped. "Now what?"

Apple Bloom scratched her head."Hah! We forgot the treats!" At the mention of 'treats' Cerberus looked eager. His stumpy tail began wagging as Apple Bloom took three treats out of her saddlebags. She tossed them to the monstrous canine. "Here ya go, Cerberus! Just remember ta let us back out, okay?"

He snaffled the treats up in a single bite before lowering his head and giving the fillies slobbery canine kisses.

"Okay," Scootaloo said when he was done, looking at them and panting. "That was gross. Now let's get going."

They passed by the cages of monsters as they headed further into Tartarus. The inmates savage beasts of all sorts, eyed them with fascination as they walked in. Apple Bloom made very sure to walk clear of one cage holding a chimera.

"Ssssoooo," the snake head said, "we meet again, little pony!"

"Yeah, but this time ya ain't even gonna try ta eat me," Apple Bloom stomped her little hoof defiantly. "We're here ya see Cozy Glow."

"Oh, arrrre you now?" The tigress head smirked, displaying yellowing fangs. "You may find a surrrprise waiting for you when you do." The CMC stared in confusion as all three heads laughed. A moment later a deep tolling went through Tartarus, and as it did the monsters stepped back from the bars and faced a corner of their cells. In another instant every cage had a bowl of food appear, and the used and soiled straw in the cages vanished to be replaced by fresh bedding.

The fillies walked on, headed for the section reserved for the vilest inmates. In the distance through the gray murkiness of Tartarus they thought they could see a pony in water with a fruit-laden tree hanging over his head. Whenever he reached up for food the branches swayed out of reach. When he reached down the water receded out of reach. Further away another pony tried pushing a huge stone up a hill. He almost made it when with a whinny of despair it rolled away from him back downhill.

The fillies gulped and hurried on until they reached a platform once reserved for Tirek alone. It was dark and still and silent as a closed coffin.

"Hey, Cozy Glow?" Scootaloo hurried in front of her friends. "We, we came to talk. Or play games, or whatever you want to do. And to..." She turned away, falling silent.

"To apologize for not doing this sooner," Sweetie Belle trotted up beside Scootaloo. She lit her horn. Light spread over the cheerless platform. "But we were mad that you tricked us, and tried taking everyone's magic away so you could rule Equestria, and locking our big sisters up in Tartarus forever. Wait." The light shone over an empty cell. "Where is she?"

"Never mind thet," Apple Bloom's voice shook. "Where's thet nasty old Tirek?" Sweetie and Scoot gasped to see his cell was also empty. Dust was thick on them both.

The three looked at each other and shared one thought. "They escaped, and they've been gone for months! We've gotta warn everypony!"

They turned, ready to gallop all the way back to Ponyville, and froze.

For there in the darkness stood a tall bipedal figure, hairy, horns on its head, batlike wings out to either side, and staring at them with fiery eyes.

Session 98.11 Mtangalion

The numbers in the countdown turned blood red, and Honest Apple smiled grimly. “Guess we’re gonna find out how this battle goes the hard way.”

… 0:06 … 0:05 …

Rising Sun cast “Blessing of Celestia” on the raid, ready to call down Holy Fire.

… 0:04 … 0:03 …

Garbunkle drew his sword, gulping...

… 0:02 … 0:01 … 0:00

Dark Ember turned her head sharply, slitted pupils narrowing. “What... do we have... HERE?” She shifted her stance, every footfall like thunder, and glared down at them. Then she lifted her head and glanced left, then right, frowning when she saw nothing else on the horizon. “Seriously? No armies? No airship fleet? This is all you’ve got? Hmph!”

She raised her left forepaw, and a huge orange warning zone covered the entire raid and then some.

Faithful Student looked around frantically. “What the…”

“RUN!” bellowed Shining Armor. “Go, go!”

The raid group barely sprinted out of the way before Ember stomped her paw down, laughing. “Go on, tell me how you’re gonna stop me! That should be good for a laugh. Were you going to say we should be FRIENDS? Ooh! Or maybe you were gonna sing a song about smiling!” She lifted her right forepaw.

“Hey!” shouted Pink Sugar Explosion, Pinkie Pie’s character. “Don’t diss the Smile Song!”

She actually sang a few bars before Blackest Flame face-clawed and flew back to snatch her up and carry her to safety, again, only seconds before Ember would have crushed them underpaw. “Don’t say I never do any of that teamwork junk,” grumbled the griffon warrior. He blinked. “Oh, hey! We can fly in this battle!”

“You other creatures never understood your place when it comes to dragons!” roared Dark Ember. “I told the ponies once before, but apparently I have to say it again! Dragons don’t do friendship! This!” She thumped her chest scales with a paw. “This is what a dragon truly is! Greed and power. And for you, death!”

Dark Ember drew in a deep breath, actually sucking in lines of mystic force like some kind of sci-fi anime death ray. A cast bar labelled “Ultimate Savage Dark Flare” appeared over her head, and started to fill.

“W-where’s the safe zone?” stammered Flutter Nice.

Spike the Dragon Mage flew over to them. “This is no safe distance from that attack! Oh man, oh man… Ah!” He conjured a huge green barrier between them and Dark Ember. “Everybody, channel your energy into this shield, and we might survive! Healing spells, buffs, special attacks, anything you got!”

“This sucks!” snapped Rockstar Queen, as she contributed her shadow energy to the spell. “We haven’t done squawk to her, besides not dying!”

Pony Shining Armor shook his head, throwing more healing spells. “Less squawking, more of that not dying!”

“That’s it!” cried Spike the Dragon Mage. “Full power!” The shield rang like a gong, just as Dark Ember’s spell triggered. The whole world seemed to white out…

And the raid found themselves alive, but stuck on a patch of intact ground about forty yards across. Everything else all around them was boiling lava.

“How...” Dark Ember shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. Now I simply have a smaller target to destroy!” This time, her cast bar read “Beyond Ultimate Savage Dark Lance.”

Spike the Dragon Mage sank to his knees, chuckling hopelessly. “No time to get mana back… I’ve got nothing.”

The cast bar filled halfway… two-thirds of the way… The ground began to shake.

Suddenly, Garble the Dragon Brawler launched himself into the air, unfurling his wings to stop mere feet from the dark dragoness’ muzzle. “Ember! I beg of you, STOP!”

And for just a moment, Dark Ember froze. Her burning red eyes faded to their normal color, and the spell was interrupted. “Gar… Garble? My love? …”

Her eyes blazed crimson again, and the colossal dragon thrashed, seemingly at war with herself!

Session 98.12 Ardashir

"No!" Dark Ember roared, her eyes going full crimson. "Dragons don't love! Love is weakness, hate is strength. Where love only pleads, hate commands!" She snarled at Garble, the in-game one, and the others. "And Tirek's hate commands that you all die --"

She recoiled as Garble the Dragon Brawler flew even closer. His reflection was visible in Dark Ember's huge eye.

"No!" He set his paw on her muzzle, ignoring her hiss of fury. "My dearest love, you don't believe that! Dragons are more than greed and power-lust..."

"I think I'm gonna be sick if this keeps up," Darkest Flame gagged over the link.

"Me too," both Gildas chimed in. Faithful Student shushed them.

"At least it's giving us time to get our mana back," she indicated the dialogue between the two dragons. "And listen. We're getting a clue here."

"We are nobility, and majesty, and strength," Garble the Brawler pounded a claw against his chest, "of body and of will! We don't let ourselves be used by petty tricksters and bullies like Tirek."

Dark Ember seemed to be listening, at least until she shook her head. "No. The injuries he inflicted on me, the truth behind pony lies," she snarled, and her cast bar began slowly filling again, "it's too much. This is all that's left for me now. My heart is too broken to be healed!" She thrust a claw at the stark and barren mountain behind her. Only now did they see that the shattered cracks in its black peak formed the crude outline of a heart with a jagged crack running through it.

"That's it," Faithful Student and Shining Armor both said at once. Fingers danced over the keys. "Listen, everyone, we need to heal Dark Ember, not destroy her." They magnified the view of the mountain. "We need to heal her broken heart."

"Just when I thought this weirdo human game couldn't get any mushier," Darkest Flame muttered. As Garble the Brawler continued trying to convince his beloved to turn good again, he almost clawed the keyboard in his anger. "Okay, can we heal her poor widdle broken heart and end this fight?" He shuddered. "Yeesh, at least I'll never hafta hear about this from the rest of the dragons. Especially Ember!"

***

Back in the Dragonlands, where a conveniently appearing magical screen, courtesy of one reformed lord of chaos, was displaying the events of the game to the vastly amused scaly denizens, Ember faceclawed with a groan.

Two of her attendants breathed fire in glee as they watched the game's Garble woo the corrupted Ember.

"Wow, I never knew Garble cared so much." Ballista coiled back on her long tail, feet clear of the rocks, and snickered.

"Me neither," Prominence belched out one more blast of fire before she choked on her own laughter. "What's the matter, Ember? You can confess how you feel about Gar-Gar," she put her arm around Ember's neck in a comradely gesture, ruining it by laughing. "It'll be just between you, us, and everyone seeing this!"

Ballista and Prominence rolled on the ground laughing as Ember seethed. Her claws tightening into fists, she glared at the images before her with such venom she felt surprise that other-her and Garble didn't drop dead.

"Garble, my dear heart," she spat the words out, "when I see you again, we're going to have our own private little conversation!"

Session 98.13 Mtangalion

Ember started to claw the offending screen aside, but found herself lingering, watching the fierce battle. “Lovey dovey crap aside,” she mused, “I look pretty cool, don’t I? I always had trouble imagining what I’d be like, if I grew as big and strong as dad someday...” Ember twisted the Bloodstone Scepter in her paws, growling thoughtfully as she imagined having power like that for real… and suddenly she realized that she’d bulked up a bit, and even grown a few inches taller!

Ember flinched, but nothing happened. “Huh?” She peeked an eye open, looking at Ballista. “You’re not gonna throw a rock at my head?”

Ballista arched a brow. “Are you ordering me to do that, dragon lord?”

Prominence flew over and clapped a paw on her shoulder. “Ember, you’re the dragon lord! Nodragon will object if you indulge your greed a little. In fact…” She winked. “They’d prefer it!”

Ember grinned. “So, if I decide to play a little game of ‘How big can I get without going feral, now that I have this, and this?’” She waved the Bloodstone Scepter, and tapped a claw on her iron tiara.

Ballista grinned, showing her fangs. “Then we’ll enjoy the show, and have some nice big rocks ready to throw. After all, nodragon masters her greed in a day!”

Session 98.14 Ardashir

Twilight trotted down the hall, a nervous smile on her face as she walked past the bulletin board covered with fliers. Some of the students were reading the one for the new class in creative writing. They nodded in greeting. She barely noticed, brushing by.

One of them frowned. "Um, Miss Twilight, are you okay? You look upset about something."

"Me? Upset?" Twilight smiled or rather grimaced at them, her mane frazzled. As the two young ponies backed away, ears pinned, she said, "No problems here! Nope, nothing wrong at all! I'm certainly not looking for anything to be kept from the eyes of innocent fillies and colts! But if you find anything like that, make sure to not look at it!" Twilight hurried down the hall towards the apartments for school staff, ignoring the two students as they galloped away from their crazy headmare.

Twilight walked to one specific door, took a deep, calming breath, slowly opened it to reveal Spike obliviously reading one of his Flashire comics, cast a spell to baffle all sounds that would com from inside, and roared at he top of her lungs: "SPIKE! What did you do with, with that story of mine?"

"Wooahh!" Spike shot to the ceiling and slowly dropped back down to the bed. "What are you yelling about, Twi? What story?" His eyes widened as he realized what she meant. "You mean that, uh, romance? Event Horizon of Lust?"

"Yes! I mean, yes," Twilight took another deep calming breath. "I checked my desk today for notes on our next Crystals and Rainbows game and found that triple-locked spell-bound security box I keep my old shame in open and the story gone! And you were the only one who knew about it! Aside from Dash, and Rarity, and Fluttershy -- and they never wanted to see it again."

"Wow, there's a shock," Spike muttered as he remembered what they'd told him about it.

"What was that?"

"Er, nothing!" Spike smiled unconvincingly at the glowering alicorn minor. "Well, I may have mentioned it earlier to Trixie. She's going to be running that creative writing class, and she was asking if I knew of anything she could use as samples of amateur writing. I suggested my stories, but ah," Twilight's horn glowed incandescent as her eyes narrowed, "I know how you still feel about them. I just mentioned your story in passing!" He held out his claws as if keeping her back. "Would she really be foolish enough to humiliate you like that?"

The true meaning of Spike's words sank into them both at once.

A moment later a purple alicorn and dragon were both flying down the hallway to Trixie's classroom, with Twilight's mind dancing with images of lawsuits.

Session 98.15 Mtangalion

Queen Gilda smirked, clawing her push-to-talk key. “Don’t sweat it, Gar Gar. Your love life secrets are safe with us... and everygriffon watching my livestream!” Garble started swearing up such a blue streak that Gilda held her headphones away from her ears.

Just then, an animated spinning coin appeared in the corner of the display, along with a happy jingle. “And it looks like we’ve got another donation!” added Gilda smoothly. “Thank you, Dr_Disco for contributing… sheesh, 500 bits?! I mean, cool, it’s your money right?” She cleared her throat. “Remember griffs and hens, donate to the stream, and those bits will pay for new network routers for Griffonstone and phones for the grifflets and stuff.”

The voice chat crackled. “Gilda, focus! We need your head in the game!”

“Keep yer horseshoes on!” snarled Gilda, fur and feathers bristling.

Inside the game, Queen Gilda’s Priest of Boreas felt very strange indeed, targeting Dark Ember instead of the raid. “Oh well. If this doesn’t work, it’s not like I can heal her more than 100%!” She raised her holy tree branch (fancy staves with gems and crap cost bits, after all) and cast “Quit Yer Squawkin’,” followed by “Greater Walk It Off.”

Lo and behold, a second health bar appeared. “Ember’s Broken Heart” was empty, except for a sliver of bright green from the healing spells that Gilda had just cast. “What the feath… I mean, uh, I knew that would happen!”

Rising Sun grinned, adding heals of her own, and rays of pure sunlight to amplify them. “Looks like it’s the healers’ time to shine on this fight!”

“I’ll help too!” said Flutter Nice, shifting from Dire Bear to Timberwolf of Life… a druid form made of living wood and covered in flowering greenery. Gold and emerald sparkles rained down, the Heart health bar filled up more, and Dark Ember actually seemed to be getting smaller!

“It can’t be this easy,” mused Faithful Student.

It wasn’t that easy. Dark Ember’s *shadow* began to move on its own, waggling a talon at them. “This amusement begins to bore me,” spoke a voice, seemingly from the air itself… female and seductive, yet cold as steel. “Princess Ember is a valuable tool for my plans. I won’t permit any further interference.” Ember’s eyes burned crimson again. “DRAGONS… RISE! Your Dragon Lord commands it!”

The darkly shimmering colors on Ember’s scales began to seethe, and ghastly winged shapes peeled themselves loose, screeching at the raid, then diving at them en mass.

“Aw yeah!” said Rainbow Dash, drawing her swords. “Now the real fight begins!”

Session 98.16 Mtangalion

REAL_Princess in the boss fight briefly froze.

Twilight in the game room exclaimed, "How did *griffons* take the human tech we adapted and become the computer experts of Equestria? I did NOT see this coming."

"I'd say racist, but that's a fair deal," said her griffin student.

Starlight said slyly, "Gee, you don't suppose it's because no pony has a *cutie mark* for computers? Except for a few colts and fillies that won't be in the job market for another five years. I mean, who ever predicted that cutie marks could be holding us back?"

Twilight said flatly, "Har, har..."

Session 98.17 Ardashir

"Destroy!" Dark Ember pointed her still-massive claw at the heroes. "Kill them all! But the Healers first!"

Screeching in rage, the shadow dragons, made of nothing but darkness save for their sickly green eyes and open mouths, flew at the raid, claws outstretched.

"Yow!" 'Pretty_Princess' dodged aside from a pair of the diving horrors. "Hey, you swordswingers, a little help here?" Even as she spoke she cast one of her heals on Dark Ember. The green bar grew a little bigger, and Ember definitely shrank.

Smolder knew it was a game, but she still gulped as Dark Ember pointed and snarled, "Start with that one!"

One of the shadow dragons raised a claw over her as she stood defenseless, only to vanish as OrchardBlossom and Honest Apple cut it down.

"Thanks, guys!"

"Don't mention it," Honest Apple fell back before a spray of ebony flame from the mouth of another attacker. "Just you an' the rest of the healers fix Ember so we can end this quest."

"Yeah, cause it feels like we've been here for months!" D@r1ng-d0 said as she flew through another shadow dragon, her wing blades sending it plummeting in defeat.

For several minutes the battle raged on. Healers and other spellcasters used the magic they had to keep hitting Dark Ember with healing. The green bar grew from a sliver, becoming bigger and bigger, and as it did between the desperate fighting of the warriors and Dark Ember's diminishing corruption the shadow dragons born of her dark enchantment fell until all were gone.

"I... won't... quit!" Dark Ember was down to barely any health at all. She dropped to one knee, obviously weakened. The raid gathered around her, weapons and spells ready. The dream realm around them all seemed to shudder, like it was on the verge of collapse. When she spoke her voice was ragged and exhausted. "I'd rather... die... then become one of you weaklings again!"

"Hey, have it your way. Now's the time ta finish her!" Noneofyourbusiness! yelled as she prepared her biggest attack. Back in Griffonstone, the onlooking griffon audience, which was by now most of the town, was shrieking in delight. She stepped forward, weapon raised --

Only to stop as Flutter Nice stepped in the way. "No! This isn't the right way!"

"It's not?" Blackest_Flame froze in mid-greataxe swing.

"No! This quest isn't to beat Ember, remember?" She showed them some of the message they'd been given when they started out on it. "'Tonight, we venture into Tartarus itself! There, we shall seek the prize that the evil Lord Tirek thought he could hide from us… The Sparks of Trust and Hope… the keys to the new magic that will be his downfall!'" Flutter Nice stepped in front of Ember, within reach of her fangs. "We won't win with violence and spells." She moved closer to Ember, changing from her Dire Bear and into her pony from. "But by showing we hope for Ember, and trust her to still be herself, a being of honor and decency, under Tirek's corruption."

Far off in the Dragonlands, the real Ember watched, her attendants and the other dragons around her silent. Was someone somewhere trying to fight one of them by expecting them to do the right thing?

Flutter Nice stood before Ember, the weakening shadows of her corruption flickering and fading. The dream realm about them was collapsing now.

"You won't hurt me or the others," Flutter Nice said to the wounded dragoness. "You know who really hurt you. And you know who's going to help you."

"Guys," RisingSun said. It looked like the shattered Equestria around them was falling apart, and about to take them with it. "We better end this now, or this place is going down with us in it."

Dark Ember hissed and raised her claw above them, the ground beneath the raid turning orange, as one last box appeared on the screen.

FIGHT EMBER/TRUST EMBER

CHOOSE NOW

Session 98.18 Mtangalion

Meanwhile, at the Pie household, Pinkie Pie remained fixated on her computer, but one eye began to twitch. “*Dashie* thinks it feels like this fight has lasted for months. Heh. Heh heh…”

Unexpectedly, Maud pulled up a chair and put an arm around Pinkie awkwardly. “There, there.”

Pinkie giggled disturbingly. “So many days, waiting for more Words. I don’t remember what school looks like, or the bakery, or…”

“It’ll be okay,” droned Maud. “Here. Have one of your cheer-up muffins. Just a little farther to go.”

Another line of text appeared on human Shining Armor’s screen, below the choice buttons. “Reminder: If you fail this version of the encounter, you cannot attempt it again until the next raid lockout.”

In the game, Shining looked up at the corrupted Dragon Queen... struggling to stand, “bleeding” off plumes of black ash and dark magic, much smaller but still plenty large enough to crush them all. He drew a deep breath, and pushed the TRUST button with a hoof. “I’ll trust Princess Ember! Stand down, everycreature!”

The raid relaxed, uncertainly. Spike the Dragon Mage and Garble the Dragon Brawler flew over to them and landed as well, standing with them. “Ember!” Garble implored her one more time. “Your people need you! I need you! Come back to us!”

Dark Ember clenched her upraised paw, snarling and slamming her tail on the ground. “I must… destroy you all… I MUST… I…” And then, her eyes focused sharply. “I WILL NOT!” she roared, slamming her forepaw down… beside the raid, not on top of it! The ground fissured, cracks running clear to the horizon in an instant, then up into the sky, which shattered like a broken mirror, raining down…

And with a jolt, they found themselves back where they were before, in the deepest chamber of Tartarus. “Whoa!” Daring_Do looked around, gaping. “Is it over?! Are we back in the real world?”

In Twilight’s Friendship Castle, Spike whooped and high-pawed with Smolder. “For a given value of real.”

If Lavan and Crunch the Rockdog had survived the raid encounter, they were long gone. There was no sign of them now.

The “real” Princess Ember glowed and began to shrink, layers of corrupted crystal exploding off of her body. All of her shackles fell apart, because Ember was suddenly too small for them, and yet…

“Is it over?” rasped Princess Ember, unknowingly echoing Daring_Do. “Am I me again? This feels really weird…” Her body was once again young enough to walk on two legs, but now she stood as tall as Garble, and her blue scales were darker, shading to black in places.

Garble the Dragon Brawler grinned toothily, leaning on his hammer axe. “I think I could get used to it.” His eyes widened. “My lady, be careful! You’re not fully recovered… mfff!” Princess Ember tackled him, shoving him up against a stone wall and kissing the living daylights out of him.

Garble banged his head against his keyboard. “Kill me now.”

“I’ll kill him!” snarled Dragon Lord Ember.

Ballista giggled, elbowing her. “At least take him on a date first. You can always kill him later.”

Queen Gilda rolled her eyes. “Blah blah blah, and then they banged. Can we get to the loot now?” She rubbed her claws together, salivating over the large and ornate golden chest which had appeared.

Princess Ember looked over her shoulder. “Oh, that? That’s some treasure those jerks made me hoard so I’d get bigger. You can ha… Sorry… You can have… Ha… haaaa… You can have it!” She slumped in Garble the Dragon Brawler’s arms, panting. “That was hard...”

Rising Sun popped the chest open, and sitting right on top of the loot pile were a pair of crystal orbs, just like the unawakened Elements of Harmony. One had a red and yellow sun, and the other bore glittering stars.

And that wasn’t all. Gongs and triumphant fanfares played on their computers as the achievements popped up…

(Tartarus Unchained) - Successfully cleared the Tartarus raid!

(Legendary Challenge: Dark Ember) - Defeated Dark Ember on the highest difficulty mode!

Secret Achievement: (Hooves and Paws and Claws) - Persuaded the Dragon Kingdom to join the Equestrian Alliance! Reward: You may now create playable Young Dragons!

Spike reeled back in his chair. “What, NOW they give us that? Hey, Garble!” He turned his head. “What do you think of…”

Garble had already logged out of his griffon warrior, and he was grinning like an idiot at the new character customization screen.

Smolder stretched limbs tired from sitting in a chair for hours. “What about you, Spike? Finally going to play something else besides that pony mare you started with?”

Spike chuckled. “Maybe?”

The human Shining Armor started sorting through the loot, and raid members began making their bonus rolls. The game had one more unexpected surprise for them, though…

Almost silently, some of the crystal shards began to rattle, rolling across the dungeon floor, collecting together and rising up… Some intuition made pony Shining Armor whip around, drawing his sword as the shards dissolved together, forming…

A baby dragoness made of pure shimmering shadows, no bigger than Spike when he first got his wings. “How disappointing!” she said, speaking with the same mysterious voice they’d heard during the battle. Shining Armor lunged with his sword, but she flew out of his reach, waggling a small talon. “Still, Princess Ember’s essence is strong. It’s a pity that I couldn’t salvage any more of it.” She flew tauntingly closer and purred, “We WILL meet again, little pony.” Then she flew through a crack in the ceiling and was gone.

Shining Armor blinked. “What… What was…” He looked down at the chat log, and her dialog was all there, spoken by ‘The Shadow of Lilith.’ “What the heck was that thing!?”

Pinkie Pie waved her hooves dramatically. “Oooh, foreshadowing!”

Shining twitched. “Let’s just… pass out this loot and portal on home.”

Author's Note

Session 98.0 Ardashir (Inspiration.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCm7QkpWidI ) And one extra line by me.
Session 98.1 Jarkes (spoilers for A Horse Shoe-In)
Session 98.2 Mtangalion
Session 98.3 Unown3
Session 98.4 Ardashir
Session 98.5 Mtangalion
Session 98.6 Alex Warlorn Ardashir Mtangalion sonicandmario826
Session 98.7 Unown3
Session 98.8 Mtangalion
Session 98.9 Alex Warlorn
Session 98.10 Ardashir
Session 98.11 Mtangalion
Session 98.12 Ardashir
Session 98.13 Mtangalion
Session 98.14 Ardashir
Session 98.15 Mtangalion

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?
What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Art by luminaura

https://www.deviantart.com/luminaura/art/Saved-the-Animals-SGDQ-2019-803750776

Session 99

Session 99.0 Mtangalion (edited by me)

REAL_Princess in the boss fight briefly froze.

Twilight in the game room exclaimed, "How did *griffons* take the human tech we adapted and become the computer experts of Equestria? I did NOT see this coming."

"I'd say racist, but that's a fair deal," said her griffin student.

Starlight said slyly, "Gee, you don't suppose it's because no pony has a *cutie mark* for computers? Except for a few colts and fillies that won't be in the job market for another five years. I mean, who ever predicted that cutie marks could be holding us back?"

Twilight said flatly, "Har, har..."

Session 99.1 Ardashir

"Destroy!" Dark Ember pointed her still-massive claw at the heroes. "Kill them all! But the Healers first!"

Screeching in rage, the shadow dragons, made of nothing but darkness save for their sickly green eyes and open mouths, flew at the raid, claws outstretched.

"Yow!" 'Pretty_Princess' dodged aside from a pair of the diving horrors. "Hey, you swordswingers, a little help here?" Even as she spoke she cast one of her heals on Dark Ember. The green bar grew a little bigger, and Ember definitely shrank.

Smolder knew it was a game, but she still gulped as Dark Ember pointed and snarled, "Start with that one!"

One of the shadow dragons raised a claw over her as she stood defenseless, only to vanish as OrchardBlossom and Honest Apple cut it down.

"Thanks, guys!"

"Don't mention it," Honest Apple fell back before a spray of ebony flame from the mouth of another attacker. "Just you an' the rest of the healers fix Ember so we can end this quest."

"Yeah, cause it feels like we've been here for months!" D@r1ng-d0 said as she flew through another shadow dragon, her wing blades sending it plummeting in defeat.

For several minutes the battle raged on. Healers and other spellcasters used the magic they had to keep hitting Dark Ember with healing. The green bar grew from a sliver, becoming bigger and bigger, and as it did between the desperate fighting of the warriors and Dark Ember's diminishing corruption the shadow dragons born of her dark enchantment fell until all were gone.

"I... won't... quit!" Dark Ember was down to barely any health at all. She dropped to one knee, obviously weakened. The raid gathered around her, weapons and spells ready. The dream realm around them all seemed to shudder, like it was on the verge of collapse. When she spoke her voice was ragged and exhausted. "I'd rather... die... then become one of you weaklings again!"

"Hey, have it your way. Now's the time ta finish her!" Noneofyourbusiness! yelled as she prepared her biggest attack. Back in Griffonstone, the onlooking griffon audience, which was by now most of the town, was shrieking in delight. She stepped forward, weapon raised --

Only to stop as Flutter Nice stepped in the way. "No! This isn't the right way!"

"It's not?" Blackest_Flame froze in mid-greataxe swing.

"No! This quest isn't to beat Ember, remember?" She showed them some of the message they'd been given when they started out on it. "'Tonight, we venture into Tartarus itself! There, we shall seek the prize that the evil Lord Tirek thought he could hide from us… The Sparks of Trust and Hope… the keys to the new magic that will be his downfall!'" Flutter Nice stepped in front of Ember, within reach of her fangs. "We won't win with violence and spells." She moved closer to Ember, changing from her Dire Bear and into her pony from. "But by showing we hope for Ember, and trust her to still be herself, a being of honor and decency, under Tirek's corruption."

Far off in the Dragonlands, the real Ember watched, her attendants and the other dragons around her silent. Was someone somewhere trying to fight one of them by expecting them to do the right thing?

Flutter Nice stood before Ember, the weakening shadows of her corruption flickering and fading. The dream realm about them was collapsing now.

"You won't hurt me or the others," Flutter Nice said to the wounded dragoness. "You know who really hurt you. And you know who's going to help you."

"Guys," RisingSun said. It looked like the shattered Equestria around them was falling apart, and about to take them with it. "We better end this now, or this place is going down with us in it."

Dark Ember hissed and raised her claw above them, the ground beneath the raid turning orange, as one last box appeared on the screen.

FIGHT EMBER/TRUST EMBER

CHOOSE NOW

Session 99.2 Mtangalion

Meanwhile, at the Pie household, Pinkie Pie remained fixated on her computer, but one eye began to twitch. “*Dashie* thinks it feels like this fight has lasted for months. Heh. Heh heh…”

Unexpectedly, Maud pulled up a chair and put an arm around Pinkie awkwardly. “There, there.”

Pinkie giggled disturbingly. “So many days, waiting for more Words. I don’t remember what school looks like, or the bakery, or…”

“It’ll be okay,” droned Maud. “Here. Have one of your cheer-up muffins. Just a little farther to go.”

Another line of text appeared on human Shining Armor’s screen, below the choice buttons. “Reminder: If you fail this version of the encounter, you cannot attempt it again until the next raid lockout.”

In the game, Shining looked up at the corrupted Dragon Queen... struggling to stand, “bleeding” off plumes of black ash and dark magic, much smaller but still plenty large enough to crush them all. He drew a deep breath, and pushed the TRUST button with a hoof. “I’ll trust Princess Ember! Stand down, everycreature!”

The raid relaxed, uncertainly. Spike the Dragon Mage and Garble the Dragon Brawler flew over to them and landed as well, standing with them. “Ember!” Garble implored her one more time. “Your people need you! I need you! Come back to us!”

Dark Ember clenched her upraised paw, snarling and slamming her tail on the ground. “I must… destroy you all… I MUST… I…” And then, her eyes focused sharply. “I WILL NOT!” she roared, slamming her forepaw down… beside the raid, not on top of it! The ground fissured, cracks running clear to the horizon in an instant, then up into the sky, which shattered like a broken mirror, raining down…

And with a jolt, they found themselves back where they were before, in the deepest chamber of Tartarus. “Whoa!” Daring_Do looked around, gaping. “Is it over?! Are we back in the real world?”

In Twilight’s Friendship Castle, Spike whooped and high-pawed with Smolder. “For a given value of real.”

If Lavan and Crunch the Rockdog had survived the raid encounter, they were long gone. There was no sign of them now.

The “real” Princess Ember glowed and began to shrink, layers of corrupted crystal exploding off of her body. All of her shackles fell apart, because Ember was suddenly too small for them, and yet…

“Is it over?” rasped Princess Ember, unknowingly echoing Daring_Do. “Am I me again? This feels really weird…” Her body was once again young enough to walk on two legs, but now she stood as tall as Garble, and her blue scales were darker, shading to black in places.

Garble the Dragon Brawler grinned toothily, leaning on his hammer axe. “I think I could get used to it.” His eyes widened. “My lady, be careful! You’re not fully recovered… mfff!” Princess Ember tackled him, shoving him up against a stone wall and kissing the living daylights out of him.

Garble banged his head against his keyboard. “Kill me now.”

“I’ll kill him!” snarled Dragon Lord Ember.

Ballista giggled, elbowing her. “At least take him on a date first. You can always kill him later.”

Queen Gilda rolled her eyes. “Blah blah blah, and then they banged. Can we get to the loot now?” She rubbed her claws together, salivating over the large and ornate golden chest which had appeared.

Princess Ember looked over her shoulder. “Oh, that? That’s some treasure those jerks made me hoard so I’d get bigger. You can ha… Sorry… You can have… Ha… haaaa… You can have it!” She slumped in Garble the Dragon Brawler’s arms, panting. “That was hard...”

Rising Sun popped the chest open, and sitting right on top of the loot pile were a pair of crystal orbs, just like the unawakened Elements of Harmony. One had a red and yellow sun, and the other bore glittering stars.

And that wasn’t all. Gongs and triumphant fanfares played on their computers as the achievements popped up…

(Tartarus Unchained) - Successfully cleared the Tartarus raid!

(Legendary Challenge: Dark Ember) - Defeated Dark Ember on the highest difficulty mode!

Secret Achievement: (Hooves and Paws and Claws) - Persuaded the Dragon Kingdom to join the Equestrian Alliance! Reward: You may now create playable Young Dragons!

Spike reeled back in his chair. “What, NOW they give us that? Hey, Garble!” He turned his head. “What do you think of…”

Garble had already logged out of his griffon warrior, and he was grinning like an idiot at the new character customization screen.

Smolder stretched limbs tired from sitting in a chair for hours. “What about you, Spike? Finally going to play something else besides that pony mare you started with?”

Spike chuckled. “Maybe?”

The human Shining Armor started sorting through the loot, and raid members began making their bonus rolls. The game had one more unexpected surprise for them, though…

Almost silently, some of the crystal shards began to rattle, rolling across the dungeon floor, collecting together and rising up… Some intuition made pony Shining Armor whip around, drawing his sword as the shards dissolved together, forming…

A baby dragoness made of pure shimmering shadows, no bigger than Spike when he first got his wings. “How disappointing!” she said, speaking with the same mysterious voice they’d heard during the battle. Shining Armor lunged with his sword, but she flew out of his reach, waggling a small talon. “Still, Princess Ember’s essence is strong. It’s a pity that I couldn’t salvage any more of it.” She flew tauntingly closer and purred, “We WILL meet again, little pony.” Then she flew through a crack in the ceiling and was gone.

Shining Armor blinked. “What… What was…” He looked down at the chat log, and her dialog was all there, spoken by ‘The Shadow of Lilith.’ “What the heck was that thing!?”

Pinkie Pie waved her hooves dramatically. “Oooh, foreshadowing!”

Shining twitched. “Let’s just… pass out this loot and portal on home.”

Session 99.3 Ardashir

(OOC: Non gaming post but for the holiday)

Once again Nightmare Night had descended upon Ponyville. Monsters roamed the darkened streets seeking candy to sate the terrible hunger of Nightmare Moon.

"Oh, darling, no, no, she's appearing in Manehattan this year, with Pipsqueak and his family. Lovely party, or so I'm told. I helped them make their costumes, used only the finest woven spider-silk. So few ponies appreciate how much work goes into making costumes out of organic fibers, and..."

As we escape that gabby horror, we find more in the town. Ghosts and witches and eldritch horrors were dancing in the town square or feasting upon unspeakable treats.

"Whadda ya mean, 'unspeakable'? They're my special Blood Red Cherry-Chocolate-Chimichangas, I make them every year!"

Ahem! Moving right along, and in one darkened corner of the town, namely the townhouse being rented by the increasing population of exiled dragons, some of their newest citizens were getting an education in the bizarre customs of ponies.

"Wow," Spike handed over to the hungrily drooling dragons a small pouch of rare black opals. "You guys bet me that you'd make the scariest haunted house in Ponyville for Nightmare Night. I guess you did it."

Fizzle and Fume and the rest snatched at it, only to subside at a growl from Garble. He took it from Spike, ostentatiously removed and ate the very best gem, and then handed the others out. As they did Spike stared at the house. Pony bones and coffins were everywhere, lit candles in their eye sockets, or posed with instruments in an osseous orchestra. Spooky music played over the whole scene from a hidden phonograph. Pony fillies and colts, and many adults, stared in awe before fleeing with excited and frightened whinnies. But not before getting some treats from a disguised as a vampire bat Smolder.

"Hah!" Clump snapped his claws under Spike's muzzle. "That'll show ya! Dragons can scare anybody."

"You sure did," Spike nodded agreement as he poked at one mounted pony skeleton, the bones having the aged and yellowed look of actual pony bones. "Where did you ever find decorations this scary?"

"Aw, we just dug them up -- OOF!" He stumbled away, rubbing his belly. Garble, who had just slapped that belly in friendly roughhousing, laughed shakily and patted Spike on the head.

"Hah! Clump, you and your dorky sense of humor," Garble bent over and winked heavily at Spike. "Like it's a secret, little dude. Gotta maintain the sense of mystery and stuff like that."

"What  mystery?" Fizzle laughed and waved at some foals passing by. He pointed them out to Garble. They wore a frightening mask that had sold very well in the preceding weeks; a crimson dragon with an obvious overbite. Garble growled a bit at seeing it, while Fizzle said, "They was just laying under some dirt in this big field with all these really big stones standing over them -- OW!" He limped away, favoring the clawed foot Garble had just stepped on.

"And ta think I'm not gettin' any bits from those two crooked unicorns when they said my face was gonna make a great fright mask," Garble scowled as he saw more of the dragon masks. He looked at Spike. "Hey, what's a fright mask, anyway?" He brightened as he saw Mayor Mare in her usual Nightmare Night clown costume approaching, together with Princess Twilight, Zecora, and a strange green mare with a black mane and tail and a skull cutie mark.

They stopped before the dragons house and stared for several long minutes in awe.

"Incredible use of theme... Fine materials, frighteningly realistic, even a sense of humor!" Princess Twilight opened the saddlebag she had and floated out a large bag of jewels. Garble and the other dragons gathered around, licking their scaly lips, as she handed it over and pinned a black and orange ribbon on their house. "Garble, boys, you did an amazing job. You win the first prize for 'Scariest Scene for Nightmare Night'!" She examined one flaming-eyed skull up close. "It almost looks real!"

"Hey, it oughta. With all the work we did, that is." Garble hastily said before yanking out a handful of rare black opals and tossing them into his open muzzle.

"Well, enjoy the rest of the evening, boys," Mayor Mare said. She frowned. "I'm afraid I have to take some time to help in the investigation of that mass graverobbing incident." The dragons grinned as widely and innocently as they could, all gleaming fangs, as she added, "Fortunately we have one of Canterlot's best forensic neigh-cromancers here, Ms. Magica de Skull." The green-coated mare smiled thinly as Mayor Mare added. "She said she can smell a graverobber a mile off."

"Better be glad she can't smell them any closer," Smolder grumbled as she flew overhead.

"Anyway," the Mayor turned and began walking away from the house on the edge of town, "it won't matter for long. Ms. de Skull is about to cast a spell that will return the stolen remains to their eternal rest," the ponies, with Spike trailing along, were almost out of sight as they headed back to the town square, "but not before they punish the perpetrators."

"Huh?" Fume's eyes widened, not that anypony or dragon could see it under his hair. "What kinda punishment?"

"Oh, nothing much," Ms. de Skull said as she trotted away, her horn aglow with sickly green light as she cast her spell. "The bones will just re-animate and pound the stuffing out of the robbers before re-interring themselves." She stopped and smiled, slightly, as sounds of frightened dragon shrieks and the clicking of something like many dry bones moving at once, soon joined to the smacks of a fearsome beating, came from behind her. "Like my ancestor Queen Majesty, I think the punishment should fit the crime. Anyway, enjoy your Nightmare Night prize and what it cost to get it, gentlemen."

Session 99.4 Unown3

"AAHHHHHH!!!!!" The CMC screamed in the depths of Tartarus, looking up the furry hideous winged beast towering over them.

This made them wish they HADN'T 'lost' the Twilight Guard that Princess Twilight had secretly sent after them (which for the wily CMC, was easy peasy).

The humanoid horror looked at them in shock and alarm before saying, "What are little fillies doing in Tartarus?!"

"Maybe one of them wants to feed the prisoners!" Cackled the goat head of the Chimera, making clear they were not in a cage for being 'poor misunderstood magical creatures.' "Come on little filly! Come in this cage and prove you're not a big baby!"  

Apple Bloom shivered, but resisted their taunts. The other ignored the beast. Then remembered they had a monster NOT in its cage in front of them. "Ahhh!"

The furry brown monster looked around. "What is it?! Did one of the monsters escape?! ... Wait... " He saw the fearful look in their eyes. "Wait wait wait! I am not going to hurt you!" He knelt down.

Thankfully, years of being friends with Discord had taught the CMC how to override the 'see something nasty an evil no matter what its do' parts of their brains... eventually.

The CMC also saw... it was holding a table top RPG in its hands...

"You're... here for someone too?" Scootaloo asked.

"Yes... my brother... Tirek."

"TIREK?!" Sweetie gasped.

"Wait a minute! You're Scorpan?!" Scootaloo exclaimed.

The gargoyle nodded. "That is I... He tried to replace me you know. My brother. He turned innocent creatures into subservient versions of me to serve as his henchman again and again... I... took that as a sign that as much as he hated me for choosing the ponies over him, that he still wanted us as family again."

Scorpan showed the box depicting a mighty naked centaur warrior with a sword in a deserted surrounded by dead snake-men. "I brought his favorite game, "Orion the Barbarian", I thought it might be a chance of pace from Crystals and Rainbows... We played it as boys with our father and his court. The object of the game is too play opposing empire against each other and make your own kingdom. Dad said it made for good learning, he was always the game master."

Scorpan, in spite himself, began speaking in praise.

"Sometimes Tirek would have the kingdoms reduce themselves to ashes, and then swoop in as a 'rescuer'. Other times, he'd ally with one ruler, while slowly claiming their power, until the lead was just a figure head."

This snapped the CMC back to reality.

"Wait! Girls! Remember! Tirek's cage! Cozy Glow's! They're empty!"

"WHAT?!" Scorpan said in total alarm, the horror on his face making clear as much as he wanted to save his brother from himself, he knew he also had to protect everyone else from him!

Sweetie Belle said, "You know, if had chosen to visit Cozy Glow earlier, we'd have known about this sooner."

Scootaloo snapped. "NO ONE LIKE'S A KNOW-IT-ALL!"

Apple Bloom glared the Chimera, "How long have they been gone?"

"Who been gone for what now?" Sneered the snake head.

"TIREK! GOZY GLOW! How long have they been gone?!"

All three of Chimera heads giggled. "Tirek? Cozy Glow? Never heard of 'em! Isn't that right everyone?"

The other monsters in cages laughed and nodded.

"Maaaaybe my memory will improve if a tasty filly asks her question a little bit closer!" Said the tiger head grinning, showing all of its teeth, Apple Bloom remembered that for cats, a grin meant MALICE.

Apple Bloom's face' turned red with frustration.

+++

"What do you mean I can't go on this underwater quest as my new and improved Dragon me?!" Garble complained.

"Simple, your new dragon you... Omega_Flame? Really? Well, I'm impressed you KNOW the word 'omega'... but you're simply UNDER-LEVELED! So do some grinding, but the others aren't gonna wait for you!" Garbunkle2 (Spike the dragon) told Garble.

Garble's words were filtered by the profanity filter to the point where it sounded like he was speaking in Mohorse Code.

REAL_Princess said, standing at the pier, that was part of the start of the quest for the Seapony/Merpony raid... They were to get on a boat to travel to a mysterious island...

A sailor pegasus said, "Hmmmm, I fear there be cloud gremlins in the areas, they might cause a storm."

"What subtle foreshadowing," Rarity (and her character name) said sarcastically.

Then the captain, a zebra, look out a book saying,
"What wonderful creatures in the deep there be,
which of these would you wish to see?"

The zebra stallion showed them each a book showing a seapony on one side, and a merpony on the other.

"To each other they rarely smile,
To the other they are hostile.

"With dislike of the other so large,
for their services, extra they charge."

"Okay, that's... kinda more subtle foreshadowing," RisingSun admitted.

"What's foreshadowing?" Noneofyourbusiness! (Queen Gilda asked) asked.

"Means they're hinting at stuff that'll happen later so it doesn't seem they pulled it out of their butt!" R0xx-star-queen (human Gilda) said. "Geeze where were you educated, a barn?"

"HEY!" Honest Apple snapped.

"I wish it was a barn! But it wasn't that nice! Except for that time at Flight Camp," Noneofyourbusiness! said.

"Sooo... we each pick one of the tribe, and we play as that for this quest? That's so interesting!" Flutter NIce said excited.

"These 'quest particular gameplay mechanics' tend to be rather ... hit or miss," Crystal_Prince warned.

"Come on, what's the worst that can happen?" FaithfulStudent (Sci-Twi) said. The ominous thunder effect happened just then.

Everyone looked at her with the 'death glare' Emotica.

"That's just superstition!" She insisted.

After making their choices, the heroes got on the boat, and were 'surprised' when the massive thunder storm happened. They spent a few minutes fighting cloud gremlins... before the ship broken two, and they sank...

This was followed cut scene of dark swimming figures finding them and spiriting of them still underwater.

Then a cut scene of each party (those who had chosen different in separate instances), waking up in Aquastria for the merponies, and Seaquestria for the seaponies.

Both groups were told how their friends had been captured by the evil seaponies/merponies and likely twisted to their will, and about how their Queen/King's new advisor had warned them about the danger they posed after the emergence of the ancient evil Squirk and had allied themselves with him.

Many in the party saw where this was going. REAL_Princess, remember the lore of Squirk from Equestria's earliest age, already guessed the villains was switching places as a seapony and merpony to turn them against each other, likely produce enough hatred to power windigos or just feed some ancient artifact powered by bad vibes.

However... none of that mattered...as in the tutorial section... EVERYONE kept bumping into each other, or the walls, the ceiling, the NPCs... going in only vaguely the direction they wanted to.

"WHAT THE HECK!? THIS SO BUGGY!" D@r1ng-d0 swore as well the as game would let her.

"Maybe I should visit the office and see what this mess is about," Twilight and Sunset both thought remembering their contracts with Crystalsoft regarding this expansion."

"Now now you guys, no need to bother Crystalsoft with a little bug like this right?" R0xx-star-queen said uncomfortably. And swam right into a pillar.

++++

"Boss! More complaints about the swim mechanics for the Squirk raid! They're saying they were killed by the bad swimming controls!" Gabby the human shouted.

"GILDA! I told you play test those!" Game design Discord complained.

"I did! They worked just fine for in the test area! Must be some other mechanics messing them up!" Gilda claimed, hiding the screen she was using.

"OW! OW! OW!" Screwball and Virtual Pinkie Pie, current testing the merpony and seapony forms respectively, kept bumping heads and the sides of the screen on Discord's monitor.

"My head hurts!"

"Daddy I think this mechanic is broken!"

"DISCORD!" Vice President of Crystalsoft Chrysalis came storming in. "You're actually designing a quest where my son's hideous painfully coloring designs can appear?! WE HAVE A REPUTATION TO MAINTAIN! We can't let something that ugly be exposed to our players!"

"Look in a mirror," Gilda whispered.

"So! Has Phalanx tracked down those system crackers yet?!" Discord said quickly.

"He and Mr. Snow think it might be our 'old friends' again who created that Ultimate_Princess abomination ... I swear how can someone be that pathetic? We fire those morons and they make it their life mission to ruin things!"

"Daddy!" Screwball said from the screen. Chrysalis brushed off as Discord being weird again with his programming. "You based these swim mechanics on the pegasus flight simulator?"

"WHAT?!" Chrysalis snapped. "Underwater flying?! That's how you... ugh! They're two different engines! No wonder it's all buggy! Fix it! Now! And shut up the complainer with whatever in-game trinkets you have to short of anything that ALSO breaks the game!!!"

"Yes mam," Discord sighed.

+++

"Thanks for meeting with me Archer," said Princess Waverdancer.

"No problem," said Archer. "It's nice for soomepony to notice I exist."

Waverdancer was currently in an enchanted bathtub provided by princess Twilight herself.

"I know what you mean," Waverdancer said. "I keep trying and keep failing to get somepony's attention. And it always peters out. Instead all anypony cares about is our 'chosen hero students six'... Ask anypony in Ponyville... They won't be able to name any of the other students here, or the teachers besides Princess Twilight's inner circle... There are ponies who have been sitting on the bleachers right next to everypony in the class photos who nobody even KNOWS who they are, or even what their names are or what they EVEN DO at this school... it's like the school's sole purpose is to cater to the existence to the other exchange students and Sandbar... "

"That's freaky isn't it?" Archer nodded.

The pair were playing chess. And... Waverdancer was impressed.

"Are you sure you don't have a cutie mark for chess instead?"

"Naw. Archery is still what I live for... even if apparently nobody even USES archery for anything but the Equestria Games anymore... I love Miss Fluttershy... but I think she forgets that other ponies can't politely reason with Pony-eating monsters."

"Wish ponies were direct in defending themselves?"

"Kinda... last time the guard demanded to actually have WEAPONS, it caused a controversy! ... "

"I'll admit... I might have ... reacted badly when I found out Fluttershy was feeding fish to her pets so she wouldn't have to feed prey land animals to them..."

"Oh really? I never would have guessed," Archer said sarcastically with a grin.

"Seaponies have been the big girls on the block under the sparkling sea for eons! We've held back the sirens and the deep ponies, yet everypony mistakes us for those hybrid cosplayers..."

"... I hear that. All anypony does besides Miss Cheerilee and my parents is mistake me for Scootaloo painted blue..."

"You need to be more assertive."

"My mom says the same thing... Checkmate!"

"... Huh?! Wait-wha-?!... "

+++

In the junkyard owned by Gilda The Human, Spike the pup stood on a pile of tires.

Ember the Dog and Garble the Dog on his left and right.

"Greets Smolder!" Spike looked down at her from on high, the sun gleaming behind him. "As leader of the pack of uplifted canines, I welcome you to our number!"

Ember the dog waved a paw. "Welcome to the pack!"

"Thank you alpha, it is an honor!" Smolder the dog bowed her head. "But can we hurry? I need to get back my owner!"

"Owner! Bah!" Garble grumbled. "Spike! How long before we uplift all the dogs of the world and overthrow the humans?"

"Patience Garble patience!" Ember said.

"Guys, humans look after us hand and foot already!" Spike said.

"Just think! No more leashes! No more pet-carriers! No more neutering!!!"

All the pets present shivered at the last one. Smolder remember how some pets acted after being neutered, a distant, zombie-like gaze in their eyes.

Session 99.5 Mtangalion

Spike the Dog grinned, looking over his small but clever pack, surely the cleverest pack! Something kept nagging at him, though... "Are there any dogs that I forgot to invite? I keep feeling like we've forgotten something."

Inside the house, Grandpa Gruff scowled. "Mangy mutt! That's my recliner! And my morning paper, too!" He raised his cane, but Torch fixed him with an irate stare, snarling viciously. "Bah, not worth it.  I'll make you move later."

Torch snorted, then rustled the newspaper held in his forepaws, turning to the next page.

Elsewhere, Apple Bloom waved a gnarled piece of wood over her head. "See the stick! Go fetch!" She hurled it across the yard. "Good girl, Winona! Go fetch the stick!"

Winona roared happily and tromped after it. There was a grinding crunch, and elephant-sized bronze dragon returned with a tractor held in her jaws, wagging her tail.

Apple Bloom winced. "Yeah, we're gonna have to work on that."

Session 99.6 Unown3

"Okay girls!" Spike The Dragon greeted... currently in dog form. Princess Twilight had lost the coin flip.They were gaming in the human world. Which led to 'do you have a twin' antics of course. "I fished around, and I found this adventure that'll be great!"

AJ the pony, currently human, raised a fist (still getting used to these hand thingies). "Ah gotta ask... can ya really handle a group of ... 14 players?"

Spike grinned, seeming draconic in spite of his fur. "Not for long."

"So what is it?!" Rainbow Dash the pony asked (and having been made to wear a sweet shirt and sweat pants after trying to get naked), "Plenty of hack and slash? Better not be another feast!"

"Well, yes and no... I bet the Pinkie Pies and the Twilights will like it. The modules say that it's best to be a surprise what adventure it is."

-

"Down the giant hole we go!" Pinkie Pie shouted.

"More like float down," Sci-Twi remarked.

"What's with all these tiny weapons, shields, armor on the sides?" H-AJ asked.

"I be the fairies will love them!" P-Fluttershy said.

-

Spike said, "After drinking the potion, you all shrink down, but your armor and equipment doesn't."

"My character faints!" H-Rarity declares.

"My character finds somewhere to hide and die of embarrassment!" H-Fluttershy said.

Spike the Dog, and the nominal ponies, on the other hand went in another direction.

"BUT THAT'S MY FAVORITE SWORD!" P-Rainbow Dash swore.

"At least these tiny things are useful now," said P-Fluttershy.

"Oh and the walls start crying... the place is starting to flood."

"WAIT! I get what this is! THROUGH THE KEYHOLE!" Princess Twilight shouted.

-

"The caterpillar is a centipede dragon in disguise trying to kill us?"

-

"The white rabbit is a super powerful wizard trying to kill us?"

-

"The Mad Hatter and the March Hair and Dormouse are trying to kill us?!"

"Just the Dormouse actually."

"That's a relief."

"Their HATS on the other hand, ARE trying to kill you!"

-

"REALLY sorry Rarity," D-Spike said to H-Rarity. "The tea was poisoned. Your monk is dead."

"THEN HOW WAS THE MAD-HATTER DRINKING IT!?"

"The giant grinning cat is trying kill us?!"

-

"You missed your swing, so the flamingo you're using as a mallet bites you!"

"Ha! I made my roll!"

"That means the hedgehog being used as ball shoots you with quills instead."

"OH COME ON!" Princess Twilight snapped.

-

"And having framed you for stealing the tarts-"

"Don't get at least get a perception check to see if we notice him plantin' the evidence on us!?" H-AJ demanded.

"Nope!"

-

"Wait wait wait!" Sci-Twi exasperated. "The white chess pieces AND red chess pieces are attacking us?!"

"Yep!"

-

"So the white iron golem knight guiding us keeps falling off his horse, onto us... " P-Rarity said calmly.

The party had at this point been reduced by half. (It was unclear if the lack of a total party wipe yet was due to Spike's misplaced sense of mercy or the ponies used to living next to a forest where everything WAS trying to kill them (screw the deer saying Everfree was full of poor misunderstood beasts!).

"Yep."

-

P-AJ asked. "WHAT the heck were all these monsters doin' when they WEREN'T tryin' to kill us? Playin' solitaire?!"

-

"That figgy pudding the 'queens' served you was actually a black pudding, you're dead Pinkie Pie."

"Oh really? You've had us die to illusionary traps because we believed so hard in them that it made them real... the black pudding has no mind of its own, and thus no ego or self image... therefore, if I believe in so hard that the illusionary figgy pudding is harmless... wouldn't that make it harmless?"

Spike's brain broke.

-

With now only Sci-Twi, Sunset, and both Pinkie Pies still alive at this point...

Sunset had to be restrained from turning into Nightmare Inferno when she heard, "WE COULD HAVE LEFT THIS PLACE FROM THE START IF WE HAD JUST WAITED AROUND FOR THE PORTAL THAT DROPS US HERE to RECHARGE?!"

Sci-Twi fainted when she heard they had to track across the way they came over all again...  

-

"I... have... had... ENOUGH!!!" H-Pinkie Pie slammed her hands down. "EVERYTHING in this place had tried to kill us either on purpose, by accident, backstab us, or been booby traps! ... "

"Yeah, well," Spike said. "Alice realized Wonder Land was an awful place to be too."

"SHE REALIZED IT WAS NO FUN BECAUSE THERE WEREN'T ANY RULES TO THE GAME!" P-Pinkie Pie joined in with a roar. "EVERYTHING trying to kill us?! No exception?! That is all so... CONSISTENT! Which completely MISSES THE POINT of the story! It should have been UNPREDICTABLE which of Wonderland was gonna help us, hurt us, be our best friend, or worst enemy!"

"I'm just playing the adventure the way it's written!" D-Spike barked.

P-Rarity said, "Spike darling... I fear you being raised by Twilight you might have taken up some of her ... habits of sticking to the letter of things even when they construe the spirit of the intent..."

(D&D Dungeon Land and The Land Beyond the Magic Mirror.)

Session 99.7 Mtangalion and Ardashir (edited by me)

Gilda smirked, watching Torch send another door-to-door salesman fleeing for his life, minus the seat of his pants. "Good boy, Torch."

Torch barked, "You're goshdarn right I am! ... You didn't hear that."

Then Torch got his paws on Gilda's credit card and used it to place an order over the phone with the local butcher shop for 12 pounds of fine steak.

"Just throw it at the bulldog that comes charging at you when you ring the bell, that'll be fine."

-

Gilda the human called out, "Hey, Lite-Brite! Pro-tip, keep your dog away from your credit cards."

FLASHBACK!

Sci-Twi said when Rarity gave similar advice (with experience from Sweetie Belle), "Besides, how bad can it get if Spike found my credit card. What's he going to use it for?"

While Back at her house/lab...

Spike disguised by an overcoat and hat. "Yeah, that's right guys, put the heating and air-conditioning units for my, I mean, the doghouse down over there. Right next to the duck-down doggy mattress."

Sci-Twi sighed. "Too late... and if you call me that again, I'll start calling you Brungilda."

"You take that back!" Gilda aised a fist, then blinked. "Uh..." Gilda leaned in and whispered. "I don't know what that is."

Sci-Twi blinked. "Brunhilde was a legendary Valkyrie warrior."

Gilda glared still confused.

"You know, like the Mighty Thorse! But a girl instead of a guy."

"So, basically you're saying that I'm cool and badflank? Nice of you to notice, Lite-Brite!"

Sci-Twi facepalmed.

Session 99.8 Mtangalion

(with some ideas from Alex)

Princess Twilight sank into her favorite comfy couch in her private study, feeling the tension slowly drain away. It was a perfect weekend to relax and unwind with the latest Journal of Applied Thaumatologics, not at all like last weekend, when Celestia and Luna had convinced her that they were retiring immediately and leaving the entire Equestrian government on her shoulders that very afternoon. Twilight was still trying to think of a good way to prank them back for that.

Yes, it was a perfect afternoon for…

Her ears pricked up.

What… what was that? Some kind of security alarm? A fire somewhere, perhaps? Whatever it was, it seemed to be coming closer and…

With a pop-flash of amber magic, Button Mash teleported right into her study, flying too fast to avoid plowing right into her. The combined mass of Button, her, and the couch slammed into the far wall, knocking paintings off the walls. “Aaaaaa!” screamed Button, hooves clapped to his cheeks and beanie askew on his head. “Princess Twilight, Princess Twilight! Aaaaaa!”

Making a mental note to apologize again to Celestia… and her friends, and her brother and Cadence and… well, a lot of other ponies… Twilight plucked a paper bag from her personal supply and crammed it onto Button’s muzzle. “Breathe,” she commanded. “Then explain.”

Equestria’s one and only Alicorn Prince needed four good deep breaths before he seemed ready to talk sense. “Okay, so… I was playing the Pyro’s Dragon Adventure game with the girls, and I said I wished I could summon the real Pyro somehow, and then…” Button threw his hooves wide. “It actually happened, and I don’t know how to send him back and…”

“Um…” A familiar purple and yellow dragon knocked on the window, then opened it, letting himself into the study. “Is he always like this?” asked Pyro, in the flesh.

Button Mash yanked on his mane. “Aaaaaa! End Program! Exit enchanted comic book!” Nothing happened. “Aaaaaa!”

Princess Twilight groaned and telekinetically shoved Button’s face into the paper bag again. “Just… calm down, okay? We’ll find his world with the portal mirror, and that will be that!” She did her best, probably inadequate impression of Celestia’s smile #6 (You messed up, but it’s not the end of the world.) “Besides, it’s not like he’s been going around stealing everypony’s gems and roasting random sheep, right?”

The Alicorn colt cringed. “About that…”

Someone started hammering on the study door. “Twilight!” shouted Applejack. “Twi, I’m coming in!”

Twilight looked to Button, but there was no time to even begin to think of excuses or explanations before the door opened, admitting not just Applejack, but Big Macintosh too, both armed with real actual pitchforks, not the cheap props that the Flower Trio sometimes gave out. Two members of the Twilight Guard followed them in, but Twilight motioned for them to stay back. Having her personal guard arrest the Apples for intruding wouldn’t be very friendly, after all.

“Apologies, Miss Twilight,” rumbled Big Mac, "but there’s a dangerous rogue dragon in town. He plum *vaporized* three of our sheep, but we’ll find him, eeyup!”

AJ’s gaze happened to fall across Twilight’s desk. “Say, is that a new lamp?”

“Huh?” Twilight turned her head and saw the ‘lamp’ … small and leathery with purple scales, and wearing the lampshade from Twilight’s actual desk lamp, which stood on the other corner of her desk with a bare bulb.

Button Mash trotted forward, smiling helpfully. “You don’t have to worry about those sheep, Miss Apple. I’ve got them right here in my inventory. That, um… strange dragon, he probably just made a mistake and teleported the sheep. With his fire breath. You know, without meaning to!”

Applejack stared at Button, hard.

Button gulped, sweating profusely. Twilight could have sworn she actually heard a voice in her head… (Roll charisma check,  -5 penalty vs Element of Honesty, +3 Alicorn bonus)

And… was Twilight’s eyesight finally going wonky from staring at books too much, or was she actually seeing Button Mash clicking through a game interface, floating in the air before him? He clicked on a sheep icon as she watched, and then he actually pulled three grown sheep out of thin air, presenting them to Big Mac with a nervous grin.

Ten minutes later, after the guards had left and the Apples had gone home, taking the sheep with them… Twilight buried her face in the couch cushions, groaning. “I can’t believe they actually bought that. Wait, let me guess… video game logic?”

Button nodded, sprawled on the couch next to her. A new text box popped up: (You gained 500 XP for this encounter) “Pretty neat, huh?”

Meanwhile, Pyro found Spike frozen in mid-step, gawking at the smaller dragon. “I release you from the spell!” said Pyro cheerfully, poking Spike in the chest. “Huh, you’re the shortest elder I’ve ever seen! Can you tell me how many talismans or eggs or whatever I have to find before I can go home *this time*?”

Session 99.9 Ardashir

Now they have one more dragon running around Ponyville.

I can see how this will go:

"Uh, Garble, Smolder, this is Pyro," Spike indicated the feisty little dragon beside him. Pyro looked at the two bipedal dragons in confusion while Spike said, "He's, ah not from around here."

"What, he was raised by ponies like you?" Smolder flapped over and focused a hostile gaze on Pyro. He gulped but held his ground, puffing his chest out with a growl. "Yeesh, he's even more of a runt than you are, Spike."

"Hey!" Pyro snarled back at Smolder. "Don't call me a runt, you, you weirdo!" Before he could say more Garble stomped over with a growl.

"Don't call my sister a weirdo, shorty!" He snatched at Pyro. The smaller dragon just backed up, lowered his head, and charged. Garble sneered, "What, was he raised by some dumb goats or something -- OW!"

He went head over scaly heels, eyes rolling, gemstones raining down around him.

"That'll teach you, ya big bully!" Pyro snorted. Smolder and Spike just stared at the huge gemstones on the ground. Pyro snapped some up and looked at them. "Oh, sorry, you want some of these?"

"Wait a minute," Smolder held up one claw. "Does that happen every time you headbutt something?"

"Yes." Pyro blinked in confusion. "It happens when every dragon does that. Don't you know?"

Garble regained his feet in time to hear this. He and Smolder looked at each other and exchanged big grins.

A few hours later, two groaning and sore dragons were laying in beds at Ponyville Emergency. Their heads were wrapped in bandages and facing them was an irate Princess of Friendship.

"Okay, now tell me again, why were you two headbutting everything in town for two hours including stone statues and yelling, 'Where are the yummy gemstones'?

Session 99.10 Ardashir

"Good to see you out of the hospital, Smolder," Twilight looked up from the papers she was grading -- as well as a few ideas for an Oubliettes & Ogres adventure she wanted to subject Spike to. After that little horror show he put her and the others through, she wanted to make it special for him. "What can I help you with?"

"Not much," Smolder flapped up and dropped to the floor before her desk. Scratching behind one of her horns, she said, "Uh, I do kind of wonder what became of those enchanted Flashfire comics I had, the ones from the soft city-loving Dragontown traitors -- I mean, the alternate dragon community you taught us to respect, heh." Smolder finished with a weak smile. Twilight's frown didn't improve. She rose from her chair and walked around the desk.

"The last I saw, Garble was returning to the Dragonlands at Ember's command with them. I don't get it either," she explained as the young dragoness looked confused. "I know Ember isn't fond of Mina or the other settled dragons. And the message she sent sounded odd - 'Tell my lovey-dovey sweetie Garble we need to talk'."

"Huh?" Smolder sat up in her chair. "Weren't those some of the lines the dragons used in World of Horsecraft?"

"Well, yes," Twilight walked back behind her desk. "But how would Ember possibly know them?"

At Fluttershy's hut, where he was having a tea party with his favorite pegasus, Discord steepled his claws and smiled.

And in the Dragonlands -- or rather, inside the enchanted Flashfire comic in the Dragonlands:

"YEEEOWWW!" Garble, currently dressed as Flashfire's boyfriend, yelled as the weights attached to his feet dropped another few inches, stretching him out like a rubber band. "Ember! Get me outta this!"

"Flashfire, I'm in awe of your bravery," the Mane-iac said as she motioned for her henchponies to let the weights drop a little more. Raising her voice to be heard over Garble's howls, she laughed. "I would never have thought you could endure seeing your boyfriend get mauled like this rather than give in!"

Ember, disguised as Flashfire, just smiled.

"It's easier than you think." She turned and asked Garble in a deadly sweet tone, "Isn't that right, my dearest sweetheart," her voice turned into a snarl, "when you humiliated me in front of all the dragonesses in that stupid game you showed everydragon!"

Session 99.11 Unown3

Apple Bloom the Alchemist escaped, "By the gods! That is one giant frog!"

"Actually the gods are just a fiction to satisfy the poor, but yes I am a giant frog!" Said the giant frog.

"But my family is well off, and we believe in gods," said Sweetie Belle the sorceress.

"Obviously just to justify your better lot in life!"

"Actually, my sister always tells me that we're NOT better than anyone else because we're more fortunate," Sweetie The sorceress said.

"Obviously she's an exception," said the giant frog.

"But Sweetie Belle thinks that way too!" Scootaloo the Barbarian protested.

"She's an exception too."

"But so does my  mom, my dad-"

"They're all exceptions!"

Apple Bloom asked, "Isn't 'they're all exceptions' the supposed 'go to excuse' for anyone who says any big name corrupted business man are all exceptions and not an inevitability and the NORM of capitalism?"

Search for 'Perfect Retort'
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The giant frog exploded.

-

"AAAAGH!" The human Starlight Glimmer grasped her head as she lay her forehead against the table behind the Oubliette Overseer screen.

"I think we crashed the Overseer," human Sweetie Belle said.

Human Sunburst seeing this exchange said, "I told you not to try and put overt political messages into your Oubliette Overseeing."

Starlight's response was untranslatable.

Session 99.12 Unown3

Spike didn't like creating a dungeon at random as he went, but Shining Armor's friends had wanted to try out the 'create a dungeon' table revamped from the original OO Advanced Overseer's manual.

With all 20 floors of the dungeon coinciding with the difficulty rating level of the same number.

The girls had breezed through some orcs... Spike rolled 100 on the treasure table, and rolled 100 again, and again, the mathematical impossibility of it was coming close to popping a vein in Princess Twilight's head. However, then Spike's eyes got even bigger when he said, "Uh-oh." And looked at the players sadly.

Now, when the OO smiles at you, that normally a warning sign. But saying 'Uh-oh' AND looking at you sadly? Something had just happened to throw the entire campaign out of wack.

"You girls dig through the orc's treasures, and you find a deck of twenty-something playing cards, with the back showing an Alicorn and a Draconequus spiraled around each other.

"THE DECK OF MANY THINGS?!" The ponies all shouted as one that would make Starlight Glimmer proud.

Rarity politely fainted, no one blamed her.

"Keep that dang thing away from me!" Applejack swore.

"I'm not risking my character!" Rainbow Dash backed away from the table.

"Say that a lich ate it quick Spike, before Discord bring it into reality or something!" Twilight waved her forehoove wildly in terror.

Fluttershy said, "Uh... Let's just put it in a treasure chest and drop into a volcano..."

Pinkie Pie said, "Uh, maybe play... just ONE card?"

Everypony death glared at her.

"Never mind."

Spike sighed. "Girls. I'm sorry, unless you can give a logical reason HOW your characters would know what a Deck of Many Things even looks like, IN CHARACTER, I'm going to have to insist you act like it's just a curious and unique deck of playing cards likely to get your characters attention."

The ponies all went pale.

http://worldofmor.us/rules/DMG/DD00930.htm

Session 99.13 Mtangalion

“What are you talking about?!” whined Garble, still strung up in the Mane-iac’s ‘deadly’ trap. “And what’s with all the lame lovey dovey talk all of a sudden? How come you’re talking like Dark Ember in… that…” Garble felt a cold dread that had nothing to do with the icy water the henchponies were pouring on his toes. “You weren’t supposed to see that.”

Ember, still dressed as Flashfire, arched a brow. “Oh, so I wasn’t supposed to find out that you and your pony pals were fantasizing about conquering me and making me your love slave?” She turned to the Mane-iac. “I’ll never tell you the launch codes. Do your worst!”

The Mane-iac cackled, wrapping a hair-tendril around the lever to stretch him again. “Still being snippy with me? Then your precious boyfriend will receive the unkindest cut of all!”

“Wait, wait!” squealed Garble. “None of that was my idea! It was all… ugh… those humans! You know how the humans have a Canterlot, but it’s not the real Canterlot? And a Celestia and a Luna, and lots of other fake junk?”

Ember hesitated. “Go on…”

Garble nodded as vigorously as he could manage. “Yeah! Yeah, the same humans who turned us into dogs and put us in cages, they made up that whole story about us being in love for a dumb game!” He leaned closer to her, pulling against the restraints. “Believe me, I don’t even like you. I’d date a diamond dog before I asked you out, even if you are kinda cute.” He froze and would have slapped his paws over his muzzle, if they hadn’t been manacled in place.

The Mane-iac rolled her eyes. “As amusing as this little drama is, I need… those… launch codes! They’re the key to my plan to blackmail every hair salon and…”

“Shut up,” snapped Ember. She gave Garble an ominous smile. “You think I’m cute, huh? Heh, I guess you *have* been away from the Dragon Lands for a while. Exit comic!”

Everything around them melted into a swirl of dissolving comic book ink, and Garble collapsed onto a stone cave floor, groaning. “Ugh, finally...” he muttered, flexing away the phantom pain in his back and limbs… until he was hoisted up and slammed against the cavern wall!

That knocked the wind out of Garble for a moment, but he was more amused than hurt. “Hah! So, even in real life, you need somedragon else to rough me... up?” Garble trailed off, as he began to realize that the claws and muscular arms holding him in place were a familiar shade of blue. And when he dared to look up, a strangled squeak might have escaped his muzzle, not that he’d ever admit it! The big dragon who’d pinned him so easily wasn’t one of Ember’s guards… it was Ember herself!

“Just think,” purred Ember, nose to nose with Garble, her paws firmly on the floor while his dangled in the air. “If us dragons were more into that pony tech stuff, you could have watched this on a livestream. Me, growing…” She licked her tongue over her fangs. “Giving everydragon what they wanted… a Dragon Lord who can reform the traditions and make tough deals with ponies, *and* has the muscle to make it stick!” She tightened her grip a bit. “Well, my ‘beloved’ Dragon Brawler? Still think I’m cute now?!”

Garble gulped. “N-no, not cute… More like totally hot.” He blinked. “They’re never gonna find my body, are they?”

Ember growled, eyes narrowing, but then she let Garble fall to the floor, turning away and snorting flames. “At least you’re complimenting *me*, not some fake that’s *programmed* to want you!”

Garble’s eyes widened. “Wait, are you… blushing?” His expression went flat. “Seriously?” He clenched a fist and punched the cave wall in frustration. “Ugh, this is so not fair! You get whatever you want, even though I’m the one who totally should have claimed the Bloodstone Scepter! I was so close!”

Ember folded her arms across her chest, looking down at him thoughtfully. “Did you ever think… what if you’d been nice to Spike from the start?”

Garble blinked. “Huh? What’s that got to do with anything?”

“What if you’d stood up for a lost orphan whelp, instead of bullying him?” she said, pressing her point. “Helped him find a place with us, his own kind. Made it so he owed you? Maybe when the Gauntlet of Fire came around, he would have helped *you* get the Scepter!”

Garble frowned… but quickly rolled his eyes. “How was I supposed to know he’d ever be anydragon important? What, are you into Friendship Lessons and junk now?” He clasped his paws and put on a big dumb smile, just like a pony. “We should be nice to every creature in need and give every one of them hugs and lollipops, cause hey, you never know!”

Ember smirked. “Nah, that’d just be weird. We are dragons, after all. I was just... thinking out loud!” She turned to go, then paused and coughed into a fist. “One more thing, Garble! I want you to… ahem… It would be my pleasure if…” She blushed again. “Slag it. I command you as Dragon Lord… to t-take me on a date this weekend! If it’s a good date, I’ll let you live!”

That evening, back at the Friendship Gaming Academy, Ambassador Garble was down on his hands and knees begging. “Come on, stop being lame and just do this one thing for me! I need to go back in time and beat some sense into myself!”

Starlight Glimmer smiled and sipped her hot coco. “Don’t we all?”

Session 99.14 Mtangalion

Discord popped into being. "What a wonderfully chaotic idea!" Discord snapped his fingers. "Draw a card from this tarot deck, and it will summon the corresponding Alicorn or Draconequus! Or maybe it'll summon an avatar, if they're not inclined to appear in person. It might even send you to them! Isn't that exciting? ... I can see by the way you're trying to cram it into the garbage disposal that I'm going to have add more terms and conditions."

Twilight Sparkle said, "Discord, I'm disappointed, you done the 'bring something from the game to life' how many times now? Like that were-vixen who infected Ponyville's foals? Not very chaotic."

Session 99.15 Ardashir and sonicandmario826 with edits

Discord frowned.... and then gave a terrifying grin, “Oh.... not being chaotic enough am I?”

Twilight felt her heat slip a beat realizing her mistake. “Wait Discord!!! I didn’t mean-“

Discord Laughed and snapped claws again. "Too late!"

The Girls and Spike cringed in horror, before slowly realizing that -- "Wait, where's the Deck?"

Discord asked, "What? You think I'd waste it more on you ponies? I put it somewhere else, where it'll provide the most entertainment. Well I gotta go and be more chaotic. Toodles!!!” Discord disappeared.

“..... well that was a mistake.”, Twilight said plainly.

“You think,” Rainbow just plainly stated.

-Far off in Flim and Flam's Los Pegasus Casino-

"Boss, when did we get these new card decks on the poker tables?"

"The night crew must've put them there. Well, cut the decks and give everyone a hand of cards before any trouble starts!"

And across Creation, Discord and Celestia's relatives were confused when they started getting beeps on their cosmic pagers requesting their presence on that planet Celly, Lulu, Twiliey, Candy, and Dissy had all been loitering on (with Candy having spawned a new goddess while she was at it).

Spirits of Chaos and Alicorns of Law heard.

"If this is another prank Dissy I have giving you such a swat on your rear!"

Session 99.13 Mtangalion Ardashir Unown3

“Pardon me!” shouted Prince Blueblood, waving the card in his hoof at one of the casino staff. “Look here, what’s the meaning of this?” The card featured a solid black rectangle in an elaborate frame, captioned as ‘The Void.’ “My compatriots and I came here to play poker, not have our fortunes told.”

Inky black mist poured out of the card, silently taking shape. Blueblood didn’t even notice until other patrons started whispering and pointing. He turned his head to behold… “Miss Maud Pie?!”

“Doctor,” deadpanned Maud. “I have a rocktorate.” She glanced around. “This is awkward.”

“I say!” exclaimed Fancy Pants. “Magical cards that summon attractive young mares? Mind if I give it a go?” He snatched up a card, but frowned as he turned it over. “Sloth? That’s not very promising...” The stallion faded away, vanishing with a soft pop.

-

“What in blazes?!” shouted Fancy, gawking at the mountains upon mountains of clutter that surrounded him on every side, like the home of an incurable hoarder scaled up to the size of a kingdom. “How did I come to such an awful…” His eyes bulged. “D-D-Discord?! Ah, did I say awful? My good chap, what I really meant was…”

The draconequus put the video game on his theater-sized screen on pause, looking supremely peeved. “Ugh, a mortal. A stupid one, too, showing up without an invite. First of all, Anarchy. *Not* my brother.” He tapped his mismatched downward-curving horns. “Totally different parts, see?” He unpaused his game, shaking his head. “Hmm, what else? Oh yeah, you can’t die here, cause buck all that paperwork.”

Fancy Pants gulped. “Can I, er… challenge you to a game of chess, or some such? Win my freedom?”

“I’ll take you home if you beat me at Super Ponio Brothers,” muttered Anarchy, without looking away from the screen. “That’s what I’m playing anyway.”

Fancy gritted his teeth. “But… this place is unbearable! Please tell me you at least have a cleaning staff!”

Anarchy smirked, idly snapping his claws and turning Fancy’s elegant tuxedo into a butler’s uniform. “Good idea. That’s you now.”

Fancy stalked away, muttering under his breath. “Well, at least I didn't turn into a maid, like all those tabloid stories of what Celestia supposedly does to lazy guards.”

-

Back in the Las Pegasus casino, a wide-eyed stallion in a cheap suit and tie seemed to get lost in the curtains before blundering out onto a small stage. He struck a pose, but in the spreading chaos, everycreature took him for just another standup comic, until he harrumphed, sparking his horn *and* flaring his wings. Another tarot card fluttered to the carpet… the Fool.

"I tell ya, these days even Alicorns get no respect!" Puerilis shook his head. “I came all this way, and it is just me or is this place kinda dead tonight? I mean, it's so dead, Mortis is over there at the bar."

"Oh, I'm not working tonight,” said the black-coated Alicorn thestral. “Except for that stallion in the next room who’s going to stake everything on one spin of the roulette wheel and be posthumorously declared the second richest pony in Equestria."

Prince Blueblood raised a hoof hesitantly. “You mean… posthumously?”

The female draconequus on Mortis’ arm, wearing a blood red dress with lots of sequins and matching high heels, grinned sharply. “No. No, it’s going to be extremely entertaining. For me, anyway.”

Puerilis clapped his hooves. "Seriously, a big round of applause for Death himself, in some parts of the multiverse at least, and his lovely wife!” There was a scream and a loud thud from somewhere. “Watch out though, this can be a pretty rough joint! If those two don't get you, your bar tab might!"

+++

And as madness was breaking forth in Los Pegasus, elsewhere in Equestria:

***

"Mistress!" The new military commander of Swarm Chrysalis saluted his queen. She bared her snaggle fangs in a smile as she looked over the hoard of True Changelings before her. All with perfect ebon carapaces, fangs bared, lean and starved and vicious. "The Swarm is ready to fly on your command!"

Chrysalis laughed as she dreamed of finally, finally taking her revenge on the lowly cattle that had balked her so many times. She used her magic to pick up one last figurine from her days of, ugh, playing with those filthy ponies. Pinkie Pie and Rarity had hoof-made it for her, of her epic level half-succubus sorcerer-rogue. As it melted in her magic, she said just one word.

***

Elsewhere in Grogar's cavern, two fillies played a game of chess. Right now they were using stone pieces, but they would soon be playing it with real live ponies.

"Cozy Glow," Ira gave her best friend in the world a hug, "how long before we watch my big brother and his allies destroy the Crystal Empire and turn Flurry Heart into our mind-controlled playmate?" She pointed excitedly at the 'toys' they would use on Flurry and the others, things not normally seen outside of a torture chamber.

Cozy Glow gave Ira the biggest and most innocent smile ever as she unknowingly repeated what Chrysalis said.

***

In another chamber, Tirek laughed as he used his magic to incinerate that silly game the pink annoyance had played with him and his traitor brother. "I can't wait to see the look on her revolting face when I do that to her copy, right in front of her eyes! When I let her see how much good all her sickening sweetness did!" He cackled and rubbed his massive hands together with glee. "And then that traitor Scorpan. I'll serve him as I did Vorak and Haydon!" His eyes glowed as he remembered their final screams. "I can't wait for it to happen!"

He repeated what the other two had said.

***

In one last final chamber, Grogar scowled into his copy of the speaking mirror he'd given to the resurrected Storm King. "Well? Is your army ready yet or not?"

"Oh, hey, it's going great!" The Storm King cackled and rubbed his paws together. Behind him a horde of Yetis marched onto his new airships, eager to sack and burn. Two of them dragged a shackled Tempest and Grubber along. The Storm King sneered to see them. "I'll be keeping my two backstabbers close, no need to let them get away. I should be hitting Griffonstone first to take out any allies Equestria has there and then it's right for Canterlot. Moving along the coast inside a storm cloud to keep things quiet, like you suggested," when Grogar cocked an eyebrow, the Storm King's face broke into a disgusted snarl as he added, "Master."

"Very well," Grogar snapped. "Just follow my plan and maybe this time you won't end up a shattered statue in Canterlot." He prepared to break the link, but stopped and sneered, "Are you not a loyal slave?"

The Storm King's face turned purple, veins bulging in his eyes, before he bowed and choked out, "Yes, master."

Grogar broke that connection and set another. His brow turned black as a thundercloud when he saw a donkey playing a game of solitaire. "Bray! You idiot!"

The donkey choked, tried to prostrate himself, and set the cards away all at once. Grogar just coldly asked, "Are my armies ready to march?"

"Of course, oh Mighty Master of All," Bray said obsequiously as he tried to somehow press himself even deeper into the cracks of the stone floor beneath him. He dared to look up. "When shall I command them to open the gate and invade Equestria?"

Grogar said what Chrysalis had said, what Cozy Glow and Tirek had said.

"Soon. Very, very soon!"

++++

In their cavernous sweatshop, The clone, Meanjack asked, "So, Twilight, when are we NOT gonna rise up and either get our freedom from Chrysalis, or die trying so at least we can say we died free?"

Mean Twilight said darkly, "Soon... and on all these damn creatures, mortals and gods alike, who have treated us, and those like us, like we aren't even alive... Revenge on them, ALL!"

++++

Rainbow Dash waved, and said jovially, "Hey, as Scootaloo's biological parents, and the mares who were bucking supposed to be looking after her, not hoofing her off to different care takers six days off the week, and it turns out you moving to Ponyville wasn't that big a deal and you could have done it before hoof before Scootaloo had to make a big deal out of it, and NONE OF YOU noticed that Scootaloo had put out the paperwork to be adopted by MY family instead.... I just want to say I'm finally ready to settle this... or rather, my lawyer is, Celestia personally suggested him."

"Hello, I am Ponythulu of Ponythulu and Dagon at Law... I will be defending Miss Rainbow Dash's case of her family having legal guardianship of Miss Scootaloo... " The ominous Outer God's shadow loomed over Scootaloo's biological family.

+++

"So how did it go?" Soarin' asked. He and Rainbow Dash now sitting at a Wonderbolts favored Saltlick.

Rainbow Dash said, "Well... they summoned Nyarlathotrot to be THEIR lawyer... the court house nearly got sucked onto planes of existence with no name and nearly absorbed by the Blind Idiot Concept... And the five Princesses all got together and this cool epic cosmic battle that you had to be there to see!"

"The Princesses all did something cool and I missed it?! DAMMIT!"

"Yep!" Rainbow nodded. "And long story short, the universe wasn't destroyed, and Scootaloo is now legally my sister, her biological family still has full visitation rights... And... mom and dad moved to Ponyville... but thankfully they're now focused on giving Scootaloo the encouragement she deserves."

"Sounds like things managed to work out great for you," Lightning Dust said, still wearing her support Wonderbolts uniform. She wasn't sure how to talk about the strange nightmares she'd been having lately, of being thrown out of the Wonderbolts instead of just being demoted, forming her own team, and stealing Scootaloo from Rainbow Dash with incredibly dangerous stunts... and then some ghostly wolf coming along and eating her... Thank Celestia they were just nightmares.

+++

"Locust," Chrysalis said.

"Yes my queen."

"You have stayed loyal to me when nearly all my children abandoned and betrayed me and were bewitched and corrupted... " Chrysalis sighed. "Before the invasion begins, I want you to take Pupa, and my other heirs, take a detachment of my new children with you... And leave Equestia until such time as it is under our complete control, or I have been utterly defeated."

Locust startled. "My queen... why?"

"I will not have my most precious babies corrupted like nearly all of our kind has been. If I am defeated or," Chrysalis shivered. "Corrupted. I am trusting you to raise them into the oncoming storm that the next generation of ponies will fear. If I am to be denied victory, I will ensure that Twilight Sparkle's battle to keep peace in her realm will be a never-ending one."

Locust hesitated, but bowed. "As my queen commands me."

"And if I am victorious," Chrysalis held up a book titled 'The Real Story of Daring Do' by Ahuizotl, "The SECOND thing I'm doing after turning Starlight Glimmer into an loveless husk is get this STUPID book declared non-canon!"

Locust, as a fan of Daring Do himself, said, "For that alone my queen, I wish for nothing short but total victory for you!"

+++

"FINALLY THEY GOT THE SWIMMING BUGS FIXED!" Human Rainbow Dash declared epically.

"Then let's do this!" Princess Twilight declared. And they completed the start of the seapony/merpony Quest again, only this time, they were successful in getting past the water tutorial stage, and placed in the mass Seapony vs Merpony battle, intended to last until the party could reunite with each other, (a hard task since they were made to look like mook enemies to each other, to drive home the point of how war blinds us) and get the two sides to realize their 'advisors' had tricked them into this war.

"Oooooh Princess Twilight!" Came Adagio's singsong voice.

Twilight groaned. "How in the Tartarus did you get my voice chat for World of Horsecraft?"

"That's for me to know," Adagio said sweetly, like the attractive scent of a carnivorous plant. "The point is... we may or may not have learned something that might be vital for your survival as a species..."

"What?" Twilight asked. Adagio wasn't never one to make those kind of bluffs.

"Uh uh uh!" Twilight say Adagio's WoH character do the finger-wag emote that was still in testing, but for employees like herself (and Princess Twilight) they were allowed its use early. "If you want to know, you'll going to have to make some concessions."

"... What?"

"I'm not bloody dying of old age on this bloody alien world!" Adagio snarled. "AS A GODDESS BOUND BY YOUR WORD (and that stupid Pinkie Promise): you will annul any so-called crimes your kind might have against us, and allow us to return to the rest of Father Dagon's sirens, and rejoin the rest of our kind in the Dark Ocean."

"YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!"

"Your choice princess... but I promise you, on my word as a daughter of Father Dagon and Mother Hydra, you WILL regret not taking me up on my generous offer! So I SERIOUSLY suggest you take me up on this VERY fair trade! I will tell you everything I know, as is the spirit of our agreement, and you do as I wish you to do, as is the spirit of our agreement. No tricks of words. We just want to go home, and YOU just want your friends to keep on living!"

Author's Note

Session 99.0 Mtangalion (edited by me)
Session 99.1 Ardashir
Session 99.2 Mtangalion
Session 99.3 Ardashir
Session 99.4 Unown3 (continuity edits)
Session 99.5 Mtangalion
Session 99.6 Unown3
Session 99.7 Mtangalion and Ardashir (edited by me)
Session 99.8 Mtangalion
Session 99.9 Ardashir
Session 99.10 Ardashir
Session 99.11 Unown3
Session 99.12 Unown3
Session 99.13 Mtangalion
Session 99.14 Mtangalion with edits
Session 99.15 Ardashir and sonicandmario826 with edits
Session 99.13 Mtangalion Ardashir Unown3

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?
What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Art by Pixel-Spark

Session 100

Session 100.0 Mtangalion Ardashir Unown3

"Pardon me!" shouted Prince Blueblood, waving the card in his hoof at one of the casino staff. "Look here, what's the meaning of this?" The card featured a solid black rectangle in an elaborate frame, captioned as ‘The Void.' "My compatriots and I came here to play poker, not have our fortunes told."

Inky black mist poured out of the card, silently taking shape. Blueblood didn't even notice until other patrons started whispering and pointing. He turned his head to behold… "Miss Maud Pie?!"

"Doctor," deadpanned Maud. "I have a rocktorate." She glanced around. "This is awkward."

"I say!" exclaimed Fancy Pants. "Magical cards that summon attractive young mares? Mind if I give it a go?" He snatched up a card, but frowned as he turned it over. "Sloth? That's not very promising..." The stallion faded away, vanishing with a soft pop.

-

"What in blazes?!" shouted Fancy, gawking at the mountains upon mountains of clutter that surrounded him on every side, like the home of an incurable hoarder scaled up to the size of a kingdom. "How did I come to such an awful…" His eyes bulged. "D-D-Discord?! Ah, did I say awful? My good chap, what I really meant was…"

The draconequus put the video game on his theater-sized screen on pause, looking supremely peeved. "Ugh, a mortal. A stupid one, too, showing up without an invite. First of all, Anarchy. *Not* my brother." He tapped his mismatched downward-curving horns. "Totally different parts, see?" He unpaused his game, shaking his head. "Hmm, what else? Oh yeah, you can't die here, cause buck all that paperwork."

Fancy Pants gulped. "Can I, er… challenge you to a game of chess, or some such? Win my freedom?"

"I'll take you home if you beat me at Super Ponio Brothers," muttered Anarchy, without looking away from the screen. "That's what I'm playing anyway."

Fancy gritted his teeth. "But… this place is unbearable! Please tell me you at least have a cleaning staff!"

Anarchy smirked, idly snapping his claws and turning Fancy's elegant tuxedo into a butler's uniform. "Good idea. That's you now."

Fancy stalked away, muttering under his breath. "Well, at least I didn't turn into a maid, like all those tabloid stories of what Celestia supposedly does to lazy guards."

-

Back in the Las Pegasus casino, a wide-eyed stallion in a cheap suit and tie seemed to get lost in the curtains before blundering out onto a small stage. He struck a pose, but in the spreading chaos, everycreature took him for just another standup comic, until he harrumphed, sparking his horn *and* flaring his wings. Another tarot card fluttered to the carpet… the Fool.

"I tell ya, these days even Alicorns get no respect!" Puerilis shook his head. "I came all this way, and it is just me or is this place kinda dead tonight? I mean, it's so dead, Mortis is over there at the bar."

"Oh, I'm not working tonight," said the black-coated Alicorn thestral. "Except for that stallion in the next room who's going to stake everything on one spin of the roulette wheel and be posthumorously declared the second richest pony in Equestria."

Prince Blueblood raised a hoof hesitantly. "You mean… posthumously?"

The female draconequus on Mortis' arm, wearing a blood red dress with lots of sequins and matching high heels, grinned sharply. "No. No, it's going to be extremely entertaining. For me, anyway."

Puerilis clapped his hooves. "Seriously, a big round of applause for Death himself, in some parts of the multiverse at least, and his lovely wife!" There was a scream and a loud thud from somewhere. "Watch out though, this can be a pretty rough joint! If those two don't get you, your bar tab might!"

+++

And as madness was breaking forth in Los Pegasus, elsewhere in Equestria:

***

"Mistress!" The new military commander of Swarm Chrysalis saluted his queen. She bared her snaggle fangs in a smile as she looked over the hoard of True Changelings before her. All with perfect ebon carapaces, fangs bared, lean and starved and vicious. "The Swarm is ready to fly on your command!"

Chrysalis laughed as she dreamed of finally, finally taking her revenge on the lowly cattle that had balked her so many times. She used her magic to pick up one last figurine from her days of, ugh, playing with those filthy ponies. Pinkie Pie and Rarity had hoof-made it for her, of her epic level half-succubus sorcerer-rogue. As it melted in her magic, she said just one word.

***

Elsewhere in Grogar's cavern, two fillies played a game of chess. Right now they were using stone pieces, but they would soon be playing it with real live ponies.

"Cozy Glow," Ira gave her best friend in the world a hug, "how long before we watch my big brother and his allies destroy the Crystal Empire and turn Flurry Heart into our mind-controlled playmate?" She pointed excitedly at the 'toys' they would use on Flurry and the others, things not normally seen outside of a torture chamber.

Cozy Glow gave Ira the biggest and most innocent smile ever as she unknowingly repeated what Chrysalis said.

***

In another chamber, Tirek laughed as he used his magic to incinerate that silly game the pink annoyance had played with him and his traitor brother. "I can't wait to see the look on her revolting face when I do that to her copy, right in front of her eyes! When I let her see how much good all her sickening sweetness did!" He cackled and rubbed his massive hands together with glee. "And then that traitor Scorpan. I'll serve him as I did Vorak and Haydon!" His eyes glowed as he remembered their final screams. "I can't wait for it to happen!"

He repeated what the other two had said.

***

In one last final chamber, Grogar scowled into his copy of the speaking mirror he'd given to the resurrected Storm King. "Well? Is your army ready yet or not?"

"Oh, hey, it's going great!" The Storm King cackled and rubbed his paws together. Behind him a horde of Yetis marched onto his new airships, eager to sack and burn. Two of them dragged a shackled Tempest and Grubber along. The Storm King sneered to see them. "I'll be keeping my two backstabbers close, no need to let them get away. I should be hitting Griffonstone first to take out any allies Equestria has there and then it's right for Canterlot. Moving along the coast inside a storm cloud to keep things quiet, like you suggested," when Grogar cocked an eyebrow, the Storm King's face broke into a disgusted snarl as he added, "Master."

"Very well," Grogar snapped. "Just follow my plan and maybe this time you won't end up a shattered statue in Canterlot." He prepared to break the link, but stopped and sneered, "Are you not a loyal slave?"

The Storm King's face turned purple, veins bulging in his eyes, before he bowed and choked out, "Yes, master."

Grogar broke that connection and set another. His brow turned black as a thundercloud when he saw a donkey playing a game of solitaire. "Bray! You idiot!"

The donkey choked, tried to prostrate himself, and set the cards away all at once. Grogar just coldly asked, "Are my armies ready to march?"

"Of course, oh Mighty Master of All," Bray said obsequiously as he tried to somehow press himself even deeper into the cracks of the stone floor beneath him. He dared to look up. "When shall I command them to open the gate and invade Equestria?"

Grogar said what Chrysalis had said, what Cozy Glow and Tirek had said.

"Soon. Very, very soon!"

++++

In their cavernous sweatshop, The clone, Meanjack asked, "So, Twilight, when are we NOT gonna rise up and either get our freedom from Chrysalis, or die trying so at least we can say we died free?"

Mean Twilight said darkly, "Soon... and on all these damn creatures, mortals and gods alike, who have treated us, and those like us, like we aren't even alive... Revenge on them, ALL!"

++++

Rainbow Dash waved, and said jovially, "Hey, as Scootaloo's biological parents, and the mares who were bucking supposed to be looking after her, not hoofing her off to different care takers six days off the week, and it turns out you moving to Ponyville wasn't that big a deal and you could have done it before hoof before Scootaloo had to make a big deal out of it, and NONE OF YOU noticed that Scootaloo had put out the paperwork to be adopted by MY family instead.... I just want to say I'm finally ready to settle this... or rather, my lawyer is, Celestia personally suggested him."

"Hello, I am Ponythulu of Ponythulu and Dagon at Law... I will be defending Miss Rainbow Dash's case of her family having legal guardianship of Miss Scootaloo... " The ominous Outer God's shadow loomed over Scootaloo's biological family.

+++

"So how did it go?" Soarin' asked. He and Rainbow Dash now sitting at a Wonderbolts favored Saltlick.

Rainbow Dash said, "Well... they summoned Nyarlathotrot to be THEIR lawyer... the court house nearly got sucked onto planes of existence with no name and nearly absorbed by the Blind Idiot Concept... And the five Princesses all got together and this cool epic cosmic battle that you had to be there to see!"

"The Princesses all did something cool and I missed it?! DAMMIT!"

"Yep!" Rainbow nodded. "And long story short, the universe wasn't destroyed, and Scootaloo is now legally my sister, her biological family still has full visitation rights... And... mom and dad moved to Ponyville... but thankfully they're now focused on giving Scootaloo the encouragement she deserves."

"Sounds like things managed to work out great for you," Lightning Dust said, still wearing her support Wonderbolts uniform. She wasn't sure how to talk about the strange nightmares she'd been having lately, of being thrown out of the Wonderbolts instead of just being demoted, forming her own team, and stealing Scootaloo from Rainbow Dash with incredibly dangerous stunts... and then some ghostly wolf coming along and eating her... Thank Celestia they were just nightmares.

+++

"Locust," Chrysalis said.

"Yes my queen."

"You have stayed loyal to me when nearly all my children abandoned and betrayed me and were bewitched and corrupted... " Chrysalis sighed. "Before the invasion begins, I want you to take Pupa, and my other heirs, take a detachment of my new children with you... And leave Equestia until such time as it is under our complete control, or I have been utterly defeated."

Locust startled. "My queen... why?"

"I will not have my most precious babies corrupted like nearly all of our kind has been. If I am defeated or," Chrysalis shivered. "Corrupted. I am trusting you to raise them into the oncoming storm that the next generation of ponies will fear. If I am to be denied victory, I will ensure that Twilight Sparkle's battle to keep peace in her realm will be a never-ending one."

Locust hesitated, but bowed. "As my queen commands me."

"And if I am victorious," Chrysalis held up a book titled 'The Real Story of Daring Do' by Ahuizotl, "The SECOND thing I'm doing after turning Starlight Glimmer into an loveless husk is get this STUPID book declared non-canon!"

Locust, as a fan of Daring Do himself, said, "For that alone my queen, I wish for nothing short but total victory for you!"

+++

"FINALLY THEY GOT THE SWIMMING BUGS FIXED!" Human Rainbow Dash declared epically.

"Then let's do this!" Princess Twilight declared. And they completed the start of the seapony/merpony Quest again, only this time, they were successful in getting past the water tutorial stage, and placed in the mass Seapony vs Merpony battle, intended to last until the party could reunite with each other, (a hard task since they were made to look like mook enemies to each other, to drive home the point of how war blinds us) and get the two sides to realize their 'advisors' had tricked them into this war.

"Oooooh Princess Twilight!" Came Adagio's singsong voice.

Twilight groaned. "How in the Tartarus did you get my voice chat for World of Horsecraft?"

"That's for me to know," Adagio said sweetly, like the attractive scent of a carnivorous plant. "The point is... we may or may not have learned something that might be vital for your survival as a species..."

"What?" Twilight asked. Adagio wasn't never one to make those kind of bluffs.

"Uh uh uh!" Twilight say Adagio's WoH character do the finger-wag emote that was still in testing, but for employees like herself (and Princess Twilight) they were allowed its use early. "If you want to know, you'll going to have to make some concessions."

"... What?"

"I'm not bloody dying of old age on this bloody alien world!" Adagio snarled. "AS A GODDESS BOUND BY YOUR WORD (and that stupid Pinkie Promise): you will annul any so-called crimes your kind might have against us, and allow us to return to the rest of Father Dagon's sirens, and rejoin the rest of our kind in the Dark Ocean."

"YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!"

"Your choice princess... but I promise you, on my word as a daughter of Father Dagon and Mother Hydra, you WILL regret not taking me up on my generous offer! So I SERIOUSLY suggest you take me up on this VERY fair trade! I will tell you everything I know, as is the spirit of our agreement, and you do as I wish you to do, as is the spirit of our agreement. No tricks of words. We just want to go home, and YOU just want your friends to keep on living!"

Session 100.1 Unown3

"So Big Mac... what's it like to be married to three mares at once?" Applejack asked.

"Let's just say it's a good thing I'm known for my stamina."

+++

"And I'll never rob or steal again, and turn myself in to the police," said the now brainwashed Rough Diamond who had framed Trixie in Manehattan for a diamond robbery as just one in a long line of robberies, even using Princess Luna herself as a fall-pony once!

Suri was also writing apology letters to Rarity and to her Equalized Clone, Buttons.

"And that's that for her," Maternity Love Tap said, wearing her black ninja uniform.

Sweetie Drops observed, "You know, once we erase our own memories after Princess Twilight becomes Queen, we'll lose the bonds we ourselves have made with each other in this ordeal."

Starlight Glimmer sighed. "That is the price we have to pay to make sure no villains rise to threaten Twilight's rule, including ourselves."

Session 100.2 Mtangalion

Twilight leaned back in her computer chair, yawning profusely. "Well, so much for that theory." With a flick of her finger, she levitated a dry erase marker to her whiteboard and crossed-out a line of text. "I carried the Sparks of Hope and Trust all over Ponyville in game, and not a single NPC had any new reaction!"

Behind her, Shining Armor was floating in midair, sitting in a meditative pose atop a large glowing magenta bubble. Smaller bubbles bobbed up and down around the young man, including one containing Spike the Dog, who was happily running full tilt and not getting anywhere because his paws only made the bubble spin. Shining sighed. "I'm as eager to know more as you, Twily, but they probably won't do anything until CrystalSoft patches in more of the plot."

Twilight groaned, tugging on her hair. "You're probably right, but… ugh, that's not how a consistent universe is supposed to work!" She glanced over her shoulder, blinked, and spun her chair around. "Do you really need tips on using your Equestrian magic, BBBFF? Or did you just want to get out of the house for a while?" She folded her arms, smirking. "You seem pretty good at that already."

Shining raised his hands, caught. "When failure means having to smell Flurry's used diapers… you'd improve quickly too!"

Twilight chuckled, rolling her eyes. "What about those other guilds who defeated Dark Ember before us? Tell me about them."

"You think they might know something we don't, huh?" Shining Armor shrugged. "Well, the number three guild is Icehome Pack. They're a strange bunch... No drama, consistent full roster, and they never publicly recruit..."

In a cavern deep beneath Equestria's frozen north, kept warm by the body heat of twenty diamond wolves and their human-built computers, Prince Erik howled for attention. "Wolves, raid time is here! Let's defeat bosses again for great loot and pride of pack!"

"Wolves know plan, all report ready!" barked Iosef. "Pulling boss in six seconds! Wolves!"

"Fight as one!" roared everywolf in the room together.

Garble the Dragon Brawler fell before their coordinated assault in record time.

"And then there's Crystal Legion," mused Shining. "Their guild leader, CrystalEmperor, is, well… somewhat notorious in the community, but he gets results."

"You… idiots!" snarled CrystalSoft President Sombra into his microphone. He gripped his computer monitor in both hands, as if he sincerely wanted to throttle someone. "Did you learn to play a rogue yesterday?! Stop screwing up your rotation, or you're fired from this raid team!!"

Shining nodded to himself. "But the guild that always wins the world-first race is Team No-Life."

Twilight frowned. "Shining, that isn't very nice."

"I wasn't putting them down," protested Shining Armor. "That's their actual guild name."

"Must... train for next Crystal Con tournament!" droned Micro-Chips. He and his friends stared zombie-like at their monitors, clicking and mousing away. "Only eleven months to go!"

Session 100.3 Unown3

(Parody of Octopath Traveler)

"Save me brave heroes! Save me!" NPC Lady Diamond Tiara cries out desperately, surrounded by bones in a tiny clearing of the Everfree Forest. Count Spoiled Rich having put out a handsome bounty for her safe return.

Scholar Twilight Sparkle looked at the rest of her adventure party. "Okay, this time we're gonna beat the Devourer of Ponies! ... I know we were obliterated last time, but this we'll win for sure!"

"Yes sir Twilight!" Apple Bloom The Merchant said, still a little filly, the manual said her character was supposed to be 19... but Twilight Sparkle considered that as dubious as the title of that 'Collage High Dating System' game Spike had imported from Neighpon, wouldn't be the first time imported characters had their ages increased by silly amounts to appeal the local culture.

Apple Bloom was dressed up mage robes, giving them effective two offensive spell casters instead of one. Due to a quirk in the game, and the designer of this enchanted comic apparently not hearing that enchanted comics could handle more than four ponies at once, they were limited to half their party at all times for no reason given whatsoever.

This mean Rarity The Dancer (Spike wanted to play just so he could see Rarity in that outfit in spite of Rarity going around naked most of the time anyway). Trixie The Thief (Trixie felt like she was being type cast). Pinkie Pie The Apothecary, and Applejack the Hunter, were all side lined. To make up for this, party members could duel class.

Also, party members on the sidelines couldn't earn experience on their own, making it MORE annoying.

"NO LOSING THIS TIME!" Rainbow Dash the warrior swore.

"I hope we can save her now," Fluttershy the cleric said.

The ponies set foot into the clearing.

"OH NO! It's come back!" NPC Lady Diamond Tiara shouted in horror.

And out come the Devourer of Ponies, a reskin of another optional boss monster, but this one was purple instead of green. It also two came with recycled sprites of the common monsters in the Everfree, killer spider-spore creatures.

Thankfully, Apple Bloom wasn't the party member eaten on the first turn (it was Rainbow Dash). No chance to dodge, no defense with 'immunity to instant death'. You were simply trapped until you hit the Devourer of Ponies enough times with its weaknesses so it lost a turn.

Apple Bloom and Twilight right away began to cast fire on the plant monster, getting Rainbow Dash back in one turn... except...

"DID IT JUST CHANGE WEAKNESSES?!" Apple Bloom exclaimed. Rather than just now having more shields, it now had fewer and different weaknesses too. Which mean Twilight had to waste turns trying to figure out what they were!

"The minions keep sucking out our HP and healing themselves!" Rainbow Dash swore.

Then the boss hit them with a dark magic spell that hit twice, making abilities half the party had that let them keep one HP when hit by a powerful attack worthless. Rainbow Dash's 'cover injured friend' save Apple Bloom from the second attack at the cost of her own character. And Twilight herself was KO'ed. Then the monsters rammed into Apple Bloom taking her out. One spore used 'exploding spore' (which sadly wasn't a kamikaze attack) taking out Apple Bloom. Then a charge from the spore took out Fluttershy.

The ominous smoking red 'Game Over' screen appeared in their vision and they were spat out of the comic, again.

Rainbow Dash said rubbing her head. "Can I just list off how many ways that boss fight isn't fair?"

"Maybe we should just come back to it after we've finished more of the story? Like that underwater cave that insanely high and right next to the starting area?" Applejack asked.

"BUT IT'S RIGHT THERE!" Twilight exclaimed. "We have the tools! We're twelve levels higher than the 'danger level' of the Everfree, WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO WIN!" Twilight's hair went funny and her eye twitched. "Come on girls! Let's try again!"

The ponies all shuddered.

Session 100.4 Ardashir

"Twilight, I have a question." Starlight trotted into the Headmistress' office and frowned. Twilight was seated at her desk, a pile of papers before her. She was ignoring them, glaring at the computer screen aglow beside her. Its cord ran into the cable extending back into the world mirror, as did all the many others being used in the Friendship School. Nearby a plastic pony-high tower stood, light blinking on it. "What is that?"

"Just a moment, Starlight," Twilight said as she pressed one key on her computer. The machine made a musical noise and she clapped her hooves with glee. "Hah! Take that, Kasparov! I love unwinding with this new Chess Grandmaster program. So, Starlight," Twilight smiled at her student, "what's wrong?"

Starlight cleared her throat and pointed at the tower. "Is that some new magical artifact?"

"Huh? Oh, no," Twilight trotted over to the tower. "That's the new high-power Wireless connection for the computers we got from Sunset. It allows the computers to access the Internet for our games or anything else anywhere in Ponyville without needing to be plugged in." She pointed at the mass of black cords entering the glowing gate, extending through the magically stabilized Einstein-Rosen bridge to Canterlot High's reality. "We'll be able to do away with those any day now."

"How much does this even cost?"

Twilight shrugged. "I asked Sunset and she told me I didn't want to know. I send her two or three buckets full of gemstones every month. I imagine that covers it."

***

"Did ya get the latest, uh, 'shipment' from Equestria?" Rainbow Dash handed Sunset this month's computer bill with a shudder. "That thing's got more zeroes on it than the Cardinals' entire team."

Sunset looked at it and gulped, even as she lifted a bucket filled with flawless rubies, diamonds, and emeralds. "I hope the market never drops out for these or we're gonna be in trouble."

***

"While I'm here, I may as well ask," Starlight tapped the computer. "You know that the griffons and Yaks and even dragons are getting these computers?"

"Yes, I --" Twilight blinked. "Wait, the dragons?"

"Garble took one to show Ember that online dragon fan art for the game," Starlight waved a hoof at Twilight's sudden horrified look. "Oh come on, Twilight, Ember's a civilized dragon. What's the worst that could happen?"

***

"So this is what you told those 'hew-mons' we dragonesses look like?!?" Ember roared as Garble dodged behind a rock. Ember simply grabbed it in her claws and tore it in half, waving the screen with the picture of a dragon that looked suspiciously like her save for the wide hips and over-developed mammalian teats and sultry come-hither stare under his cringing muzzle. "First you talk all lovey-dovey to me in that game that Discord showed all the dragons, and now this?" She drew herself up and spoke in a voice like the coming of doom. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Ah," Garble dared to peek out from behind the claws over her eyes, "it's, like, not the worst thing they showed you doing?"

***

"No, what I mean is, where are they getting those machines from?" Starlight indicated the mirror portal and then the computer again. "We paid Sunset and her friends for these, but Gilda and the dragons and the Yaks aren't doing that. Where do they get them? Who over there sells them, and how?"

***

"So, you two guys got any more of those fancy phone thingies?" Gilda spoke into a mirror she'd been given as a gift some time ago. With a grunt of effort she picked up a heavy bag filled with golden bits. "I have the bits right here for them."

On the other side, the human Flim and Flam stood in front of their world's portal mirror by the human Starswirl. It was amazing what could end up in a pawn shop. Behind them were several cardboard crates with MADE IN CHINA on them.

"Madam," Flim said with a tip of his hat, "if you have the cash then rest assured, we'll always he the merchandise!"

Session 100.5 Jarkes

Gallus suddenly bolted into Silverstream's dormoritory, eyes darting back and forth. "Quick! Hide me!"

Silverstream cocked an eyebrow. "Are you okay? What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything, but Gilda..." Gallus shuddered. "Her 'mother hen' instincts suddenly kicked in, and since I don't have any parents..."

"Hey, Gall-brain!" A gruff female voice that seemed to be trying (and failing) to sound 'motherly.' "You haven't finished your miso soup yet! You don't want to go hungry do ya?"

Silverstream suddenly understood. "Ooooooh, okay. Hide under my bed, I'll send her away."

"GALLUS HEARTHSTONE GRIFFFON YOU GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!" Gilda came by Silverstream's dorm just as Gallus had hidden under the bed. "Oh, you're the pseudo-seapony. Did a blue male teen griffon pass by here? I need to do some mothering to get rid of these instincts."

"Uh... he went towards Sugarcube Corner I think. He's probably still there, he tends to binge on sweets when he's stressed. If you hurry you should catch him!"

"Thanks Sil- I mean, dweeb," Gilda said, bolting off.

Gallus sighed. "Phew... that was a close one." He suddenly blushed a little. "Say, um... y-you don't mind if I stay here for a while until the heat dies down, do you?"

"Uh... sure?" The hippogriff wasn't sure why, but her heart was suddenly beginning to beat a little faster than normal. "I've got some board games in here. Should be fun to pass the time." Strange, though... she thought. Seemed like Gilda almost said my name there, but I don't think I've ever told her... Ah, it's probably nothing.

"Phew... that was a close one," Ocellus said as she changed back from 'Gilda' to her normal changeling form. "I can't believe that worked... Almost slipped up there too. Oh, well. I'm sure they'll appreciate it at some point." She had to fight the urge to lick her lips. "And a nice free meal too! ...Not that I would feed on it without their consent though."

Session 100.6 Mtangalion

A hulking griffon warrior thumped to the ground in Ponyville's main square. He wore spiky black plate armor, as much as he could bear without obstructing his wings, and he threw back his head and screeched, just to make sure everycreature knew that Blackest Flame was back in town.

In another Ponyville, five years ago, the entire town would have plunged into a panic, with frantic tales of griffon invasion flying straight to Canterlot. In the Ponyville of today, other griffons would have rolled their eyes and told the newcomer he was about a month late for Nightmare Night.

In this Ponyville, home of the Adventurer's Guild and heart of the growing Equestrian Alliance which now stood opposed to Lord Tirek, nocreature batted an eye. The town seemingly hosted more adventurers than townsponies these days.

Blackest Flame turned his beak up and folded his wings, secure in the knowledge that his very high item level gear proclaimed him to be Very Important and Badflank, even if other creatures thought they were too cool to make a big deal out of it. He stalked towards the square's central fountain, where an armored unicorn lounged, no doubt resting after some other heroic adventure.

The unicorn's horn glowed… the chain coif glowed with the same magic and lifted away, and the purple unicorn shook out a long green mane, revealing that it was a mare in the bulky mail armor… none other than Garbunkle, bard extraordinaire, and another of the heroes who had answered the call of the Elements of Harmony. Noticing the griffon, she started to reach for her longbow, but she relaxed when she saw who it was.

The griffon came within striking distance of the unicorn, grinning sharply. "Spike."

The unicorn smirked right back at him. "Garble."

On the other side of the fountain, a small pack of diamond wolves started snickering, spamming their /flirt and /kiss emotes.

Blackest Flame whipped out a hammer-axe that weighed as much as he did, slamming the butt on the ground. The diamond wolves immediately ran for it, yipping in fright. The griffon snorted, not bothering to watch them flee. "Hey, I saw your new dragon alt. The new secret starting area is super awesome, right?!"

"I saw your dragon alt too!" said Garbunkle, nodding energetically. "I'm kinda surprised you're not levelling it up right now." She jabbed a mailed hoof towards the griffon. "You said that was gonna be your new main."

"Oh, it's totally gonna be my main! But… ugh!" Blackest Flame face-clawed. "Levelling an alt takes so much work and junk! Baby dragons can't do anything fun, they can't fly…"

Garbunkle gave him a flat stare. "Tell me about it…"

"And they sure don't have awesome cool epics like this!" The griffon twirled Garble's Hammer-Axe dramatically before putting it away again. He raised a clawed fist. "But no dumb game's gonna beat me, Spike! I'll get right back to levelling my dragon character… ehh, later. I just need a break first."

The unicorn mare grinned. "So let's do something fun on our max-level characters, then! I hear they just opened a new PvP arena, right here in Ponyville!"

Blackest Flame blinked. "Yeah?! Yeah, let's go right now! … Unless you're afraid to face a griffon!"

Garbunkle tugged her coif back on. "I'm game! Just don't be a sore loser when you get beat by a pony!"

Griffon and unicorn glared at each other, then burst out laughing, hoof-claw-bumping as they made their way to the arena.

Session 100.7 Unown3 with edits

(Inspired by another guy's fun fanfic whom I can't remember the name of. That was 'much to do about nothing' and was fun all the same.)

The couatl were (often blue) snake creatures with rainbow colored wings, and much like Equestria, suffered from eons of isolationism due to the plague of rampaging monsters (much to Fluttershy's failure to get the use of the term 'misunderstood wonderful magical creatures' adopted instead).

But at last, they had come to meet with the Princess of Friendship, opening things would finally go right.

'Do NOT have a repeat of the Yaks, do NOT have a repeat of the Yaks.' Twilight thought.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY ASKED FOR ME IN PARTICULAR!?" Rainbow Dash demanded.

"... Apparently a coatl married into your family eons ago... right around the same time... the first... rainbow ponies... were recorded..." Twilight looked at Rainbow Dash's mane in awe. "No... It's just dumb luck... that can't be it..."

The ponies were all dressed up their finest clothes... this time NOT trying to emulate the culture of the rainbow snake creatures so as to prevent offending them with stereotypes and misinterpretations has had happened with the Yaks. (Apparently the Sparkles had had a long history of accidentally offending Yaks, Twilight refused to believe the rumor an ancestor of hers was responsible for Yaks locking themselves up to begin with.)

"Welcome Prince Babajide!" Twilight Sparkle bowed.

"Welcome Princess Twilight Sparkle... I've heard you recently captured the immortal demon Ahuizotl who murdered the valley's stone guardian Olmec, stole his position of guardian, and his last words were to ask the hero Daring Do to keep the immortal demon at bay..."

Ponies stares with their jaws hung open.

"What?"

-

AK Yearling sat in Twilight Sparkle's crystal throne room... This was her castle after all, same as Canterlot was Luna and Celestia's.

"WHAT? HAPPENED?!" Twilight Sparkle demanded.

"... I became a villain in the public pony eye to keep an immortal demon at bay forever. Because I'M not going to be around forever Twilight! Unlike you. And I wouldn't WANT to be! I once stuffed a grenade in Ahuizotl's mouth and pushed him into a collapsing mine and he STILL dug his way out! I nearly got killed by rad-dee-ation left by dead civilization, that Celestia had to saved my life from, and he just healed himself... even if he was out of commission for a while... and he was able to TURN HIMSELF BACK FROM STONE after I locked him in a room full of cockatrices! He's immortal, not just 'really, really hard to make never-heard-from-again.' And he wanted to destroy everything, and enjoy every minute of it... and if becoming a bad guy for everypony means giving him a new personality and backstory where he isn't out to destroy EVERYTHING... then I'm fine with that!"

"And Dr. Caballeron?"

AK Yearling shook her head. "Oh no, that one totally surprised me and caught me totally off guard. I didn't think he and his goons would ever turn around. Guess I should've known the moment he could make more money being a decent pony he'd stop being a crook."

"...Why have we not tried to get Fluttershy to reform Cozy Glow yet?"

"Honestly, I'm surprised it took you this long to figure out something's off, you're supposed to be the analytic one."

"...I was stressed..."

Session 100.8 Ardashir

"So, Garble, have you even thought about what you're going to do on that date with Ember -- wait a minute," Spike broke off from working together with Garble to level their baby dragon characters, who at least had wings by now. He scratched his scaly chin. "I've seen a dragon wedding," he shuddered at the memory of the wild brawl that accompanied it, "What do dragons even do on a date? I mean, back in the Dragonlands? How do you court a dragoness that you like?"

Garble frowned and furrowed his brow as he thought. "We-ell, we USED to let him and her go off and plunder a few towns together to start their hoard, right before they'd beat up every other dragon interested in their intended mate to teach them to keep their distance from then on. I dunno if Ember wants ta do it that way."

Spike gave a shudder. "I hope not." He began turning back to the screen when he remembered something else. "Uh, I hope she doesn't somehow hear about this."

"She who?"

"Uh, nopony," Spike reassured Garble, waiting for him to get back to leveling Omega_Flame up before muttering, "I hope."

Far away northwards in the Crystal Empire, still mostly ponies but now with some Yaks and Diamond Wolves in the streets, in the royal palace, Candace stopped listening to the quarterly economic growth report and pricked up her hairy ears. Her husband nd advisors, recognizing the signs, groaned in collective dismay.

"Your highness," one policy pony began to say. He obediently fell silent as she raised a hoof.

"Wait, I think someone in Equestria is discussing how a new method of courtship is done!" Cadance grinned wickedly and clapped her hooves. Her cutie mark seemed to glow. "My talent is calling me to action!"

"Honey, please," Shiny grabbed her, "sit through at least one policy meeting. You can't keep teleporting out because other species are talking about romance and --"

Cadance's horn glowed and with a 'bomf' she vanished. Shiny gave a snort.

"Blast it." He looked around at the advisors, already putting their papers away. His horn glowed and a gamebook that his old friends were working on floated put from under the table and onto it. On its cover was art of half a dozen nasty-looking Changeling queens, with Supia from Neighpon being the only real one. "So, anyone up for a game of Hive Wars? The guys think they've got the gameplay bugs ironed out. Pun unintended."

Session 100.9 Mtangalion

(With some inspiration from Ardashir)

Sometime earlier…

The Friendship Castle's computer lab was mostly empty when Spike clicked through the options for his new baby dragon character, grinning and tapping his toes to a cheerfully improbable rock remix of the Smile Song. "Let's see… My quill and paper O&O character was the mighty wizard Garbunkle, and my unicorn bard was Garbunkle2… so I guess you'll be Garbunkle3!"

Spike reached for the enter key, but a scaly red paw grabbed his wrist. "Dude, seriously?" asked Garble. "You're gonna make a character that looks just like you, and give it some dorky pony name?!" He furrowed his brow. "Wait a minute… Garbunkle… Garble… Did you name that after me? Way back then!?"

Spike blushed. "What? No! Garbunkle was one of the greatest wizards of Old Unicornia! A lot of ponies these days only know about the Mare-val comics character, but actually…"

Garble rolled his eyes. "Spike, Spike! You're not making some namby-pamby pony, you're making a dragon! This is your big chance to show some real dragon pride and give your dragon a real dragon name!"

Spike smirked. "What, like Sludge, Clump, or Fizzle? I always meant to ask… what's up with dragons having names like that?"

Garble flinched like he'd bitten into some sour citrines. "It's because there's a lot of dragon moms who think they're supposed to name the hatchling after whatever they see or hear or think about the instant the egg cracks."

Spike blinked. "And the Dragon Lands are full of fire and rocks and mud…"

"And dragons doing dragon stuff," finished Garble. "Happy now? Don't tell Princess Star-Butt, she'd probably write a lame book about it. Ember would get all peeved again, I'd have to deal with it.... Just stick with the cool fire names! Blaze, Ash, Inferno… you know, stuff like that!" He furrowed his brow. "So, uh… what ‘Spike' are you named after?"

Spike grinned. "Actually, that's a whole other story."

Sometime much, much earlier…

In the gardens behind Canterlot Castle, Princess Celestia smiled serenely at an adorable newborn purple dragon, keeping an eye on him while the castle maids instructed Twilight and her mother on the proper care of young Twilight's new companion. "Hmm, what shall we name you, little one? Steel Scale? Purple Prose?"

An eerie whistling sound rose, quickly growing louder. The Royal Guards grabbed their spears, looking all around, but the source turned out to be in the sky… when a castle tower-sized rock slammed into the castle grounds like a colossal spearhead.

Celestia blinked, reading the ten foot high dragon runes scratched onto its surface… "His name is Kenbroath Gilspotten Heathspike VII." Celestia took a sip of her tea, to reassure her guards, not herself. "I'll say this for Tiamat, she knows how to make a point…"

Session 100.10 Unown3 (thanks Ardashir and ItsFromPeople)

Oubliette Overseer Twilight Sparkle sighed. "And with your... seventh natural 20 in a row, to your diplomacy, buff, and imitate skills... you convince the Far Realm itself that its gratuitous and obtrusive, and that Limbo is already the plane of mind shattering, body twist chaos... Oh, and 'being the origin for mind-suckers is stupid since they already have a wild origin that involves time travel and the Magicjammers setting."

"Aye!" Silver Spoon said, dressed up in her 'space pirate' costume complete with plastic cutlass.

Twilight rubbed her forehead. "And so the Far Realm is absorbed into being part of the Chaotic Neutral afterlife..."

"Well, I feel like I helped the campaign world," Diamond Tiara smiled smugly with her hooves together on the table.

Twilight checked and tripled checked Diamond TIara's dice for being loaded or enchanted, or there being someone else's spell affecting them. Then she had Diamond Tiara use DIFFERENT dice. Then Twilight set up an anti-magic sphere just so Tiara could roll them... and skill the lucky streak continued.

'She gets this insanely high a dice roll just when she needed it? The chances are 1280000000 to one... How is she doing it? Is it just good luck after all?'

Earlier...

"And so with Discord as our magistrate, I'll buy your natural twenties from you," Diamond Tiara said with a smile (who said there were things money couldn't buy?).

"Please doing business with you," nodded the OTHER Diamond Tiara.

Diamond Tiara had an annoying pang of conscience. "Though... won't you need those dice rolls yourself?"

The Other Diamond Tiara waved her off. "Oh naw! After becoming one of the Elements of Chaos and overthrowing the Equalist regime, I don't really have time for board games."

Diamond Tiara gasped. "That sounds horrible!"

" It wasn't easy toppling an oppressive government without a central head since Starlight Glimmer equalized herself."

"Oh no, I mean, no time for boardgames?! I think a world without board games isn't worth living in."

"... Your reality is weird."

Session 100.11 Mtangalion

(following up on that last part, after a chat with Alex)

After Spike told the story of Tiamat's message, Garble was left staring at him, poleaxed. "You're the heir to a legendary Name!? You!!?" Garble blinked several times, then burst out laughing, slapping his knee. "Hah! You really had me going there!"

Spike flinched. "Hey, watch it with those laugh flames! These computers cost a lot of gems!"

That sobered Garble up quick, but he still chortled and elbowed Spike in the ribs. "Admit it, Spike! That's not really how you got your name!"

The younger dragon's scales blushed. "Well, you're not wrong. Princess Celestia didn't tell us everything about Tiamat's message until years later. She said it was way too big a name for such a little dragon. But not long after the giant rock fell, when Twilight was still getting used to taking care of me, she heard me babbling and thought it sounded like ‘Spike!'" Spike spread his palms. "And the rest was history!"

Garble snorted. "Yeah, that's what I thought. There's no way dragons would *ever* leave a hatchling with a Name to be raised by *ponies*."

After Garble left, Spike smiled, remembering a certain shelf in his room which contained several old books, carefully and reverently looked after over the years. The books didn't have many tales that a typical dragon would know, because they were tales of pony history. Some of them were about mighty ancient rulers like Queen Majesty, some of them were about humble ponies who only left wisdom to inspire others, but each book told the story of a circle of pony friends… and a dragon named Spike.

"I wonder if I should tell Garble that we still have Tiamat's message rock in the Canterlot Vaults," Spike mused. "Heh, maybe later…" He looked at the screen with his new baby dragon character, still waiting for him to enter a name. With a grin, Spike typed in ‘Heathspike' … and a new adventure began.

Session 100.12 Unown3

Spike the Dragon eagerly watched the intro cinematic to the unlocked Dragon player character starting zone, showing swooping views of the dragon lands, dragons roaring proudly from fiery peaks, then dragons flying dramatically, and a zoom up close up of Queen Tiamat herself. This was followed by a narrative by a voice similar to Dragon Lord Ember,
"The Dragon's ways have remained unchanged for thousands of years... but a new Dragon Lord has ascended the the throne, determined to challenge tradition for her kind... her hope lies in the next generation of dragons, open to the new possibilities that await them."

The screen show several colorful dragon eggs, beginning to hatch. And out came Heathspike! Next came learning the controls, moving about the cave, eating some gems, and...

"OH YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" Spike the Dragon exclaimed from his seat looking at the computer screen.

"Greetings little whelp! Today is the day you begin your journey to becoming a true dragon!" Said proudly the NPC Sludge with his belly forward and his fists on his hips.

Session 100.13 Ardashir

Crystalsoft president Sombra listened to Sludge offering his reasons for why the dragon character used to instruct the new dragon PCs in World of Horsecraft looked so much like him. He sat at his impressive, some might say intimidating, desk worked in ebony wood and finished with crimson inlay. Privately he was musing on what gifts to get his wife and their newborn daughter for her first Christmas.

"And that is why, Mister Sombra sir," Sludge said, that garish Hawaiian shirt tightly stretched over his very ample belly threatening to flap open at any moment, "I thought there might be room for just one teensy little homage to myself for my work on the new dragon material for the game. As the instructor of the hatchlings. I mean, I have such a way with kids." He stopped and turned pale as Sombra spoke.

"I thought," Sombra's voice would have made liquid helium seem warm, "that we were going with the 'Volcano' character for that function." He tapped a few buttons on his laptop and turned the computer around to face Sludge. Sludge looked weak as Sombra rattled the complaints off from memory. "I admit to not quite understanding some of them -- 'Why is that fat lazy fraud teaching hatchlings anything?' 'He's a lazy lump who took advantage of my friend, I can't stand him!' "He looks like he should be hanging off the side of a cathedral!'."

"The heck?" Sludge looked closely at the complaints and read them slowly. He stepped back, hands on hips and looking indignant. "That's baloney! I never even met those suckers - I mean customers. What are they talking about?"

"I wondered if you could tell me," Sombra's voice somehow, impossibly, went even colder. As he rose and walked around the desk, hands clasped behind his back, Sludge cringed back. " seem to recall you using internet gambling sites on company time, and inviting our customers to try them out."

"How was I ta know they was crooked?" Hoping to change the subject, Sludge looked back at the laptop. "And 'hang off the side of a cathedral'? Are they sayin' I'm ugly?" He rose to his full height, a head shorter than his boss, and threw his belly out. When he regained balance he tore his shirt open and yelled, "I'm the figure of male beauty!"

Just at that moment VP Chrysalis entered. "Mister Sombra, here's those papers you wanted --" She became aware of Sludge, looked at him, and froze.

"Boss, I'll prove it." He swayed a few steps closer to Chrysalis and slapped his capacious gut. "Toots, am I a stud or not?"

***

Outside Gilda and Discord both jumped back as a gagging Chrysalis ran past, elegantly manicured hands clasped over her mouth as she raced for the executive washroom.

Session 100.14 Unown3

"That's so sad!" Garble sniffled, then quickly hid his tears. Music that even Rarity would call 'sappy' rang out from Garble's computer.

"What?" Spike asked.

"The game world instructor Sludge! He dies at the end of the dragon starting zone! Why do the bad-tail always have to go?!"

Spike knew he shouldn't enjoy the fictionalized death of another... but he couldn't stop himself from being curious.

-

Sombra asked, "Did you have to give your NPC self a five minute heroic unskippable cut-scene death?"

"It was Discord's idea to make all cut-scenes unskipable..."

"I should have known."

"And it's not all bad, he comes back as a ghost to help level up enchantments on dragon equipment!"

(Trying to enjoy the misfortune of others will always bring about its own reward.)

Session 100.15 Unown3

Silver Spoon, once again in her MagicJammer costume at Twilight's table said, "Okay, so I say 'Pazuzu,' three times' once I'm inside Sigil."

Princess Twilight tilted her head and said, "Alright, your lawful good wildspace captain calls out to the corruptor, who appears before you and asks, 'Oh brave hero, what could I do for you? Nothing is beyond my ability! All at the low low price of one tiny tinny smidge on the alignment chart!"

Silver Spoon just smiled. "Since Pazuzu has worshippers, that means his presence in the City of Doors illegal... which means..."

Twilight realized she'd been cornered by this little filly again who had been thought of as nothing more than Diamond Tiara's accessory. "... The Lady of Pain appears and obliterates Pazuzu out of existence, driving the first layer of the abyss into chaos, and his treasury layer is raided within minutes by Tiamat ... And the Lady of Pain is none too happy about being used as your personal demon lord disposal unit and Mazes you."

"Worth it!" Silver Spoon said simply with a smile.

Session 100.16 Unown3

Mean Twilight frantically type at her keyboard with her magic while the changeling guard wasn't looking.

'HELP! My friends and I are held prisoner in a gold grinding sweatshop! Save us!'

-

Miles away, Princess Twilight noticed a ping in her chat messages. She was about to read it when the CMC came crashing in... with a gargoyle in two...

-

Mean Twilight quickly deleted her message as a changeling guard looked her way.

Session 100.17 Unown3

Button Mash cheered. "YES! I bet this sequel to Heroic Pony Quest will be even better than the first! It'll be fun to play as the hero again!"

"Oh we're sorry, the hero of the first game was possessed by the ultimate evil after killing it, so you're going to have to mercy kill him!"

"Oh... well, I get to explore the game world seeing how his heroic deeds have changed the world..."

"Yeah about that, turns out the big ugly monsters with no dialogue, and you had no choice but to take down in the first game were really just poor misunderstood creatures fleeing from worse monsters that have now infested the world, making everything generally WORSE than they were in the first game. Oh, and the super giant monster you killed in the first game was also just poor and misunderstood, and its spores have spread all over the planet thanks to you killing it, leaving the world infested with them."

"Well... I get to meet up again with all the beloved party members and NPCs right?"

"Actually, they were all either killed by the possessed hero, turned evil, or will be mentioned in depressing dramatic irony fashion giving them pathetic brushoff deaths, or sacrificed in a convoluted plan that you'll be spending hours of real life time trying to make any sense of."

"... There's still the Save Sanctuaries at least."

"The Save Sanctuaries are revealed to have always been secretly SUPER evil."

"... Did she make it out safe, my favorite character Mei The purple Abyssinian without pant who was an aspect of the dark god who gained her own free will and the epilogue dungeon was all about saving her and giving her her own life?"

"Oh! She was given the cruelest and most brushyist-offish death of all!"

"... Do you guys hate your fandom?"

"Naw! We know grim and gritty is all the rage these days! Along with 'fallen hero' along with 'the Alicorns are all dead or evil!' We've already got great plans for the next game where Flurry Heart, who you've been helping and nurturing since the first game becomes the ultimate evil from the trauma of seeing the rest of her family die and tries to destroy the world and you have to put her down!.. Wait! Where are you going!?"

Session 100.18 Unown3

Dinky cheered as she came to the table, "Okay, I've got my character! She's an elf-rogue obsessed with finding a treasure her father 'liberated' from a dragon horde!"

At the head of the table Button Mash cringed. "Uh, Dinky, we're playing 'Cat-Ears & Giant Swords'. It's a manega style adventure set in a quasi-future setting where over the top superpowers are the norm. Along with pet-monsters who wrestle each others, and giant robots and any other manega stereotype you can think up."

"What's manega?"

"...whoa boy."

Session 100.19 Mtangalion

Diamond Tiara was lounging in her Richly appointed bedroom, completely fixated on her latest model pony-made mobile phone. It could recognize its owner, magically float in a convenient position for use, and effortlessly map the gestures of earth pony hooves to the tiny screen, plus it had a price tag that would send most pony's jaws straight to the floor with a cartoony bonk.

Just then, the Last Fantasy Archivist app played a sad Game Over jingle, and Diamond resisted the urge to fling the phone at a wall. "Ugh, I lost to Zeus again?!" Her brow furrowed, calculating. "I could definitely win if I had the new Ultra Super special attack, but I used all my free draws already… I can afford to spend an extra two hundred bits for extra rolls… four hundred at most…" Her hoof inched towards towards the screen…

With no warning whatsoever, Button Mash teleported into her bedroom, right in front of her! "No, Diamond!" shouted the Alicorn colt, his cute little wings spread dramatically. "You should think before you spend those bits!"

Diamond let out a muffled shriek, jumping nearly a foot off her couch. "What the buck, Button?! … Hold that thought." She tossed ten bits into the insult jar for swearing, then turned her best impression of mom's withering glare on the Prince of Gaming.

Her bedroom door banged open, and Silver Spoon trotted in, out of breath. "Button! Just because you can teleport now doesn't mean you can ignore things like, oh… front doors, and stairs…"

Button Mash blushed. "Sorry… but it was a gaming emergency!" He pointed a hoof. "Diamond, that game was trying to trick you into spending more and more bits for only a chance at winning."

Diamond tapped a hoof. "So what if it's gambling, technically? I can afford it. Besides, gambling is a game. Aren't you the god of that too?"

Button grimaced. "That's… kind of a gray area. There's this draconequus…" He shook his head quickly. "Never mind that! If this is all okay, tell me… How many bits have you spent on that game this month?"

Diamond frowned thoughtfully, and slowly her eyes grew wide. "Oh no! Daddy's really going to be peev… not happy about this!"

Button Mash's eyebrows shot up. "Because you spent that much?"

"Because his underage filly was gambling?" asked Silver Spoon pointedly.

"Oh, the money's no big deal," said Diamond offhoofedly. "Daddy's going to be mad because I don't know! I lost track of how much I spent!"

Diamond Tiara paused, then grinned slyly, stepping closer to Button. "You really saved my hay bacon there, Button Mash. So… how serious is that thing with you and Sweetie? I've heard some ponies have been doing really well for themselves, getting together with up and coming royalty…" She winked slowly and gave him a little kiss on the cheek.

The young Alicorn froze, totally red-faced with steam coming out of his ears. "Wha… buh? A romance meter? Why is there a romance meter?!"

Silver giggled, following Diamond out of the room. "He knows you're teasing, right?"

Diamond glanced back at Silver, smirking. "Am I?"

Session 100.20 Mtangalion

Morning in Ponyville shimmered, and everything was just fine. Unless you happened to be in the adventuring capital's brand new PvP arena, in which case you might get stabbed, frozen, shot, blown up, or otherwise reduced to a ghost so you could run back to your body and come back to life to do it all over again. In World of Horsecraft's Ponyville, though, no one minded that much, because it could generally be assumed that only creatures who enjoyed that sort of thing would be there.

That, and creatures who really, really wanted some fast but risky experience points.

Spike gulped as he guided his young dragon character through the arena gates. "H-heh. We are so doomed…"

"Don't be such a baby," said the red and gold young dragon beside him. He pumped a clawed fist, fires of determination blazing in his eyes. "We're gonna get so much XP, we'll be max level before you know it!"

Besides them, the arena was empty… so far as Spike could see. "I don't know, Garble. I heard…"

"That's Omega Flame!" snapped Garble. "Remember, Heathspike?"

Spike grinned hugely. "Hah, what? You actually care about roleplaying now?" He struck a pose and switched to an ominous, raspy voice. "Your journey to the Friendship Side is nearly complete, young Drakewalker!"

Garble groaned. "Shut up! I just don't want anybody thinking we copied those stupid fake NPCs of ourselves."

"Whatever you say, Omega Flame!" Heathspike frowned, glancing around again warily. "Guess now we have to wait for somecreature to fight."

Omega Flame quietly drew his axe, grinning sharply. "Oh, I wouldn't say… that!" He swung straight at the back of Heathspike's head… but his axe crunched into a solid ice wall. "Oh hey, you're learning. About time!"

Heathspike chuckled and whipped out his staff as he spun around. "Well, this IS a free-for-all PvP arena… Whoa!" Another blow from the axe struck his mana shield, sending him tumbling back. "Pyroblast!" he shouted, burning sparks starting to swirl around his claws.

"Rending charge!" bellowed Omega Flame, whirling his axe.

And then both of them froze before they could properly clash, brought up short by a sound that universally struck fear into the hearts of PvPers: the sound of a nearby player in stealth.

Heathspike gasped, breaking the tense silence. "Look out! It's a…" A dark explosion out of nowhere laid him out face-down in the dust. "... shadowmage."

Omega Flame couldn't resist pointing a claw and shouting "Hah, hah!" … which gave the shadowmage an easy opening to blast him in the back, dropping him too. "Oh, come on! Where's my racial magic resistance?" He ran back and respawned immediately, drawing a sword and shield for maximum defense. "I'd like to see you try that again!"

Three seconds later, Omega Flame was once again sprawled on the arena floor next to Heathspike. "Slag it, I'm gonna get my main."

"Yes, you should definitely do that," said the shadowmage in a deep, cultured voice. He brazenly de-stealthed in front of them, revealing himself to be a dark-coated unicorn pony with epic steel armor and a red cape. He examined one of his hoof guards, polishing it idly. "You won't defeat me, but at least I'll get some honor points for crushing you."

"Dude!" exclaimed Spike. "That's Crystal Emperor!"

"Duh!" said Garble, now logged into his griffon warrior, Blackest Flame. "I can read his nameplate too, Spike."

Spike had also switched to his main, and the fearsome and lovely Garbunkle2 joined Blackest Flame in the arena, her bow nocked and ready. "But he's one of the top-ranked PvPers on the whole server!"

Blackest Flame proudly brandished his epic hammer-axe from the new raid. "Then he won't mind if we double-team him!"

Garbunkle2 blinked. "Yeah… yeah, that's right! Together, with the power of our Friendship…"

Blackest Flame glared at him.

"... I mean, with the power of our being Awesome Best Dragon Buds, we're an unbeatable fighting duo! On three?"

"Three!" shouted Blackest Flame impatiently, and they charged at Crystal Emperor together, each bellowing a mighty war cry!

Thirty seconds later…

On their computer monitors, Blackest Flame and Garbunkle2 both lay face down on the dusty arena floor, nameplates grayed out and health bars empty.

Crystal Emperor bowed and blew a kiss to an imaginary audience, before fading back into stealth mode.

"Shadowmages are so overpowered," grumbled Spike.

Garble snorted. "Ya think?"

Session 100.21 Mtangalion

Two scruffy earth ponies were prowling around the entrance to Ponyville's PvP arena, trying to intimidate creatures passing by, and mostly getting odd looks for their trouble.

"Look over there!" said one of them in a thick Trottingham accent. He pointed a hoof towards the armored unicorn who stood stoically in the center of the arena. "I bet his armor would fetch a pretty golden bit or two. Let's mug him!"

The second earth pony gaped at the unicorn, then squinted at his companion in disbelief. "That's not just some unicorn, mate. That's Crystal Emperor! I heard he took down the Undead Dragon King… all by himself!"

The first earth pony nodded eagerly. "Yeah… Let's mug him!"

Crystal Emperor sighed, rolling his eyes.

A white-coated unicorn with a blue mane strode towards the arena. "Crystal Emperor!" shouted BBBFF, equipping a very shiny longsword and shield. "I challenge you!"

Crystal Emperor was browsing through a paperback book of some kind, not even glancing towards the paladin. "Yes, yes, come at me whenever you like, but I'll warn you now… You won't so much as lay a hoof on me, unless you fight with the intent to kill." He turned a page. "Oh yeah… heh heh… yes…"

BBBFF gawked. "Are you actually… browsing porn instead of paying attention to our fight?! I'll make you regret that!"

In his private office, Crystalsoft President Sombra leered at… a spreadsheet of his company's latest quarterly financials. "Oh, baby! Let me see that profit margin!" He flipped to the next page, practically drooling. "Yes, yes!" he purred. "I've never seen such an impressive return on investment!"

Rockstar Queen stalked into the PvP arena, wings posed and claws out. "Hey, dweeb!"

Crystal Emperor lifted an eyebrow at the griffon. "Oh? You're approaching me?"

Rockstar Queen narrowed her eyes. "I can't challenge you to a pet battle from far away."

The unicorn put his ledger away. "It's true, the Pet Battle Challenge command only has a ten yard range." He rose up and flourished his red cape, grinning darkly. "Very well, then! Come as close as you like!"

Rockstar Queen stopped mere feet from her opponent, staring him down beak to muzzle. Suddenly, she sprang back, striking a pose! "Golden Crystal Dragonling!" A flutterpony-sized dragon appeared in a swirl of magic.

"Useless!" declared Crystal Emperor. "I summon my Crimson Umbrum Colt!"

Outside the arena, Faithful Student gawked at them, watching Rockstar Queen and Crystal Emperor stand motionless in cool poses while their tiny minions took turns punching each other. "I really don't understand PvP at all…"

Author's Note

Session 100.0 Mtangalion Ardashir Unown3 (whoo-hoo)
Session 100.1 Unown3
Session 100.2 Mtangalion
Session 100.3 Unown3
Session 100.4 Ardashir
Session 100.5 Jarkes
Session 100.6 Mtangalion
Session 100.7 Unown3 with edits
Session 100.8 Ardashir
Session 100.9 Mtangalion
Session 100.10 Unown3
Session 100.11 Mtangalion
Session 100.12 Unown3
Session 100.13 Ardashir
Session 100.14 Unown3
Session 100.15 Unown3
Session 100.16 Unown3
Session 100.17 Unown3
Session 100.18 Unown3
Session 100.19 Mtangalion
Session 100.20 Mtangalion
Session 100.21 Mtangalion

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?
What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Art by by Didj, used with permission. https://www.deviantart.com/didj/art/My-Little-Mages-Main-Six-287956170

MLP FIM copyright Hasbro.

Session 101

Session 101.0 Kendell2

The City of Maretropolis was in turmoil.

"Fear me, City of Maretropolis! I'm Lord Death! Here to bring death and destruction to all!" announced the edgy, super evil looking villain with a massive death ray.

"Not so fast vile villain!"

"What?" the villain asked before looking as a blue costumed hero landed on a nearby skyscrapper, grey fur visible around the muzzle but impossible to mistake jaw and blue antenna on her head making her identity clear. "Who dares?!"

"I'm the Tick, mister! And I'm here to pound two hoofed justice into your heart!" she called with earnest, over the top heroism with an infectious grin.

"SHAZAM!"

Lord Death blinked, looking down as a lightning bolt rained down from the sky and a muscular purple dragon wearing a red suit with a white cape, an iconic lightning bolt on his chest.

"There will be no death and destruction today villain!" Captain Marevel announced as he landed next to Tick.

"While we won't be the same peanut butter and jelly sandwich of justice as me and my normal sidekick, we should make a great team!" the blue suited hero announced.

"How about peanut butter an honey instead?" Marevel asked.

"Righteous!"

"You pathetic, lighthearted heroes are no match for the darkness and evil I represent!" Lord Death announced, shooting his death ray at the two.

"SPOON!" yelled Tick, leaping in the way and emerging unharmed from the massive explosion.

The supervillain took a step back in disbelief. "Impossible!"

"Nothing is impossible when you have hearts full of justice!" Tick replied, never losing her over jovial heroism.

"Let's show him what else justice can do!" Captain Marevel announced.

"...Thanks for playing with me Spike, Diamond Tiara's a lot nicer now, but she doesn't get into this as much as I'd like..." Silver Spoon said quietly.

"Hey, I grew up with Shining Armor and Twilight, I'm as big of a comic book buff as they get. Thanks for commissioning this enchanted comic..." Spike replied with a smile. "Now let's kick this guy's dark and gritty flank!"

"SPOON!" Tick announced as she superjumped at the villain and Marevel flew along beside her.

OOC: Happy Birthday Alex!

Session 101.1 Mtangalion Ardashir

(Some parts of this were written by Ardashir in story comments. Run this by him too before posting!)

“Stupid date,” muttered Garble, pacing the halls of the Friendship Castle like some pathetic loser, when he should have been sound asleep atop his hoard of gems and gold. “Stupid Ember! Ugh, it’s bad enough that she’s Dragon Lord and I’m not. Why’d she have to train her greed and get bigger and stronger than me too!?”

The groove that his clawed feet had worn in the crystal floor was leading him past the computer room, so the young dragon wandered inside, hoping for a distraction. “If I mess up the date, she’ll probably pound me.” He shuddered. “But if I refuse to go on the date, she’ll pound me for sure! Huh, what’s this?”

Someone had left a shiny new game box next to his favorite computer. Garble picked up the box, tore off the perfumed pink ribbon, and furrowed his brow at the attached card. “The latest popular dating simulator from Neighpon, from ‘a friend.’” His thick eyebrows shot up. “Ponies are so lame, they have to go on pretend dates?” He scratched his headfin, considering. “Well, I obviously don’t need any help! … but maybe it’ll be good for a laugh.”

After fifteen minutes of subtitled Neighponese exposition, Garble was sound asleep, snoring and drooling on the keyboard.

Ember sat across a cafe table from Garble, awkwardly large and crammed into a Neighponese schoolfilly’s uniform. “So, um… Garble?” She blushed furiously. “Do you… like me?”

Garble blinked at the dialog options that literally popped up in front of him. “Hmm, nope… Nah… Aha!” He tapped a floating line of text with a claw. “I don’t like you at all… but I took you on a date anyway because you’re powerful, and also kinda hot!”

Ember gasped. “You… you think I’m hot?” She gave Garble a smile that sent a shiver down his spine, but before he could back away, Ember grasped his paw. Even with dragon strength, Garble couldn’t budge her claws one bit!

“You think I’m hot,” she repeated, in a deep growling purr. “No male’s had the guts to say anything like that to me since I got the Scepter, but you…” Ember licked her fangs, fabric shredding apart as she grew right out of the school uniform. “You’re so dumb, you just came out and said it.” She loomed larger and larger, overshadowing the panicking Garble. “Ember WANT!”

Princess Twilight, Starlight Glimmer, and Spike watched the whole thing from the balcony of Twilight’s castle, equal parts fascinated and appalled.

“So,” said Starlight, as Ember passionately crushed more of central Ponyville. “Lust growth is a thing. And it affects dragonesses even more severely than greed growth. Huh, who knew?”

“AHHHH!” wailed Garble, in the distance. “Somedragon, anydragon, save me!”

“Whoa.” Spike took a clawful of gem popcorn from a paper bag, munching and crunching. “Never in my life have I been so happy to realize I'm only romantically interested in ponies."

Twilight watched with maniacal glee, taking notes in three floating notebooks at once. "So many fascinating secrets of dragon biology to discover! So many research papers!"

Starlight winced, ears folding. "So many broken bones on Garble..."

Former Dragon Lord Torch waggled a claw, lecturing Garble through the open third-story window of his hospital room. “And that’s why smart males don’t try to breed before they’re at least eighty years old.”

Garble, wrapped in more bandages than a mummy, smirked across the room at Ember. She was curled up on three pony beds pushed together, exhausted but pleased with herself, and brooding over a dozen eggs. Garble struggled to make a claws-up gesture. “Worth it! Heh heh… OW!”

Garble woke with a jolt, gasping and clutching his chest. “Gah! Oh, thank Tiamat! It was just a dream!” He glared at the dating simulator.

Garble stomped back towards his bedroom, leaving the game box crushed into a trash can.

Session 101.2 Ardashir

Garble was getting ready for his date with Ember.

Princess Twilight and Starlight Glimmer were ensconced with the returned CMC and -- to everyone's surprise -- Scorpan, over something they'd found in Tartarus when they went looking for Cozy Glow.

So when Garble's three friends demanded someone show them about 'this puny pony play-acting game', only one being was around to help.

"We're supposed ta trust THIS guy?" Fizzle snorted towards the head of the table. Discord made himself comfortable in the chair he'd summoned, got a drink from the faucet labeled 'chocolate milk', and settled under the sign reading "I am the Oubliette Overseer -- disobey me at your peril!' "I remember when he broke out a coupla years ago. He made the Dragonlands freeze over and every time we tried ta warm it back up we sprayed snow from our mouths!" All three of the young dragons shuddered at the memory.

"It's me or nopony, my three fine young hooligans," Discord reached into himself, it looked like, and drew out metal figures, a pile of books, and several odd-looking dice. With a final flourish he pulled forth a massive die that seemed to have more sides than could be counted. Discord patted it lovingly. "Ah, my dear Infinity Die; it's been so long since I used you!"

"So whatta we do with this junk?" Fume sneered as he cautiously poked at the books. The art on the cover was the typical RPG book cover art. Fume licked his fangs hungrily at the sight of a scantily clad pony princess arrayed in precious stones and little else. As he did she shrieked. He jumped with a yell as her hoof shot out from the cover to slap him across his scaly muzzle. He snarled, and redoubled it when Clump and Fizzle showed their usual compassion by laughing at him. "Hey, these things are gonna attack us!"

"A-hem!" Discord slapped Fume's claws away from the book. "Only if you can't behave yourselves!" As Fume returned to his seat, Discord said, "This game is about playing characters other then yourselves..."

"We know about that dumb pony stuff," Clump sneered. "Garble told us before he became a wimp. Whatta we do in it?"

"Oh, mostly you invade other creatures' homes and mug them for their gems and gold." Discord waved a claw and an image of a gang of familiar-looking dragons appeared on the table, robbing a burning pony village as the inhabitants ran in terror. The three suddenly looked interested. "So for you, this is pretty much like your normal lives. You roll up your characters with these dice -- hey!"

"This is the biggest one," Clump crowed as he snatched up the Infinity Die, "so it's gotta be the best!" He all but hurled it across the table, its infinite multi-dimensional sides rolling. Discord froze as it came to a stop and --

Three dragons and one draconequus stared at the indescribable symbol it displayed.

"Okay," Discord muttered. "Now what's going to happen?"

Miles away in the Sun Palace in Canterlot, a mighty explosion sounded from within Princess Luna's bedchamber! Palace staff scattered in a panic as smoke poured from the room.

"Lu-Lu!" Celestia appeared inside the chamber in a flash of sunlight. She peered around, her eyes trying to focus against the room's darkness, not aided in the least by the blue and purple velvet curtains and tapestries set with imagery of night and darkness -- or, of course, the smoke. A silvery pale moon was repeated again and again on them. Celestia went deeper into the room, approaching the huge bed. "Luna, please speak to me! Are you alright?"

"Yes." Celestia's fear only diminished when she heard Luna's voice, roughened with anger. "I am here, sister." A snort followed as its owner walked out of the darkness. Celestia blinked to see Luna, minus her nebular mane and tail. Her naked dock lashed against her rump and a luridly glowing event horizon hovered over her head. The anger in her eyes might have been fearsome if not for the fact that she looked ridiculous without her mane.

"Oh, dear, Lu-Lu, I thought none of your mane's stars were due to go supernova for centuries!" Celestia lowered her head to hide her smile. It didn't work. She heard Luna's hoof-stomp.

"Sister, remain here. I have but one task this day," her horn glowed and a massive battle-axe suitable for slaying full-grown dragons floated from the wall to her. "And that is teaching Discord to ne'er dare touch a mare's crowning glory!"

Session 101.3 Ardashir

While fantasy was the usual favorite tabletop RPG genre for the faculty and students at the Friendship School, sometimes others were tried for a change of pace. This didn't always go well.

"Okay," Spike said with a near groan as he sat behind the 'Cowboys & Cattlemen' gamemaster screen. "So you robbed the express wagon. Again. And got away to your secret hideout, not that the posse follows very closely givn that you shot most everypony in the last one..."

"Just par for the course when you're a bad hombre like the Bad Apple gang," Pinkie Pie said with an exaggerated drawl that would have left Braeburn wincing. She looked at the map they were using and added in her normal voice, "Huh, I wonder how many ponies are even left in Cattleman City? I mean, we all get in gunfights three times a day."

"Shot up three whole posses that tried ta stop our reign of terror, robbed every bank in town at least twice," Rainbow Dash said, looking proud, "bumped off that Ranger troop, they close the saloons every time we come to town because of all the fights we started..."

"An' we shot that low-down backstabbin' snake Boss Brahma Bull an' his sidekicks." Applejack settled back in her chair with a contented sigh. "Ah enjoyed that more'n Ah should. Given what happened in real life that one time."

Seemingly on cue the rest of the Mane Six gave Twilight a meaningful look. She squirmed in her chair.

"Girls, as an alicorn and a princess, I had to uphold Equestrian law! What kind of an example does it set if I disobey it just because it's inconvenient?" Her friends scowled, and Applejack crossed her forelegs with a 'humph!' Twilight pointed back at the board. "Heh! Anyway, back to the game. How much loot this time, Spike?"

The girls shifted in their seat as Spike grinned evilly.

You get," he looked at his notes and smirked. "Five hundred bits."

He cringed as the roar rose all around the table.

"WHAT!"

"Come on, Spike, yeesh!" Dash snatched up the 'Trail Boss's Guide' and flipped it open. She thrust her hoof at the page. "According to this, express wagons have at least 3,000 bits on them! What gives?"

"What gives is that your gang has robbed everything of any value in the town, repeatedly, so no one with any sense dares to send their wealth there!" Spike held up a sheet of paper with a long list of added rewards on it. "Yeesh, you guys have the biggest rewards on your heads in the whole of Appleloosa. You're literally the only things of value left in the whole territory!"

"Hmm, than maybe," Rarity tapped her chin with one hoof and smiled, "now would be a oood time to try raising that bandit army to take over? Like we discussed? Queen Rarity of Appleloosa, wah-hah!" She clapped her hooves for glee. Applejack, Pinkie, and Fluttershy all leaned in and started talking excitedly with her. Spike just groaned and left the room for more snacks. He turned around and found that a smiling Dash and Twilight had followed him.

"Spike," Twilight leaned in close, her voice a conspiratorial whisper, "Dash and I have an idea."

A few minutes later back at the table:

"What d'ya mean, we wake up an' we're hogtied?" Applejack stomped her hoof. "An' we have a whole new posse o' Rangers ready ta drag us off ta Tartarus?"

"We-ell, not all of you," Spike pointed at a grinning Dash and Twilight. "You four can see the chief Ranger paying the reward money for you to their characters."

Twi and Dash looked utterly unrepentant as Applejack and the others glared at them.

"Now girls, remember, we were playing criminals here," Twilight held up a hoof for attention. "Remember Chrysalis, Sombra, all those villains we read about in history books? Whenever they worked together, they always backstabbed each other."

"An' besides, like Spike said, you guys were the last valuable things in the territory." Dash smiled and shrugged. "What were we supposed ta do, ignore a fortune right under our hooves?"

Session 101.4 Unown3

Shady Daze for the Foal Free Press asked, "So how did you come up with the game play for Burglar Pony?"

The game designer pony said, "It started out as a game called Dark Canterlot, I was inspired by some intense dreams I had where Celestia is an iron fisted tyrant, her faithful student was a psychopath with poor fashion sense, and Shining Armor and the royal guards were dumb thugs, and you played Princess Luna out to expose your sister as a fraud and free the people... But I found game engine we put together didn't handle combat so well, but it did handle stealth well, so I used instead inspiration where I snuck a basement for fun and hid from a guard..."

-

"Lulu, did you try to influence popular culture via proxies before you were released from the moon?" Celestia asked.

"... I may or may not have inspired some ponies to make games where you were the villain."

"And you threw a tantrum when they started including YOU as a villain in those games?"

"... Yes."

Session 101.5 Mtangalion

Crystal Emperor stamped his hoof. “Is there no one online who can offer me a decent challenge!?” He paced down a line, then made a sharp turn, pacing back again. “Five hundred bits to the first creature who can strike a blow!”

Outside the PvP Arena, his audience stumbled back from the fence, shaking their heads frantically… all except the pegasus rogue with the rainbow mane. Daring Do gave him a cheeky grin. “Maybe I’d give it a try… If shadowmages weren’t so overpowered!”

“What…” Crystal Emperor recoiled, sputtering with indignant rage. “Shadowmages are NOT overpowered!”

Daring Do thrust a hoof towards him, wings spread. “Dude, only a shadowmage would say that! Shadowmages ARE SO overpowered. Yep, they need a huuuuuuuge nerf!”

“If my class is so superior… then where is your shadowmage, hmmm!?”

“Um, back in the starting area? Because I managed to blast myself more times than I did the training dummy? Yep, they’re so broken, you obviously need some kind of hack to play them right.”

“It’s called skill!” Crystal Emperor would have been frothing at the muzzle, if there was an animation for that. “Shadowmages take skill to play, skill which you obviously lack, troll! Practice as I did, and get better, you… you ignorant, worthless… noob!”

Daring Do grinned even wider. “Wanna see my Young Dragon alt?”

“Grah!!” Crystal Emperor took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Enough, I tire of this…”

But as he turned to stalk away, HE heard the ominous sound of another character in stealth nearby.

The dark unicorn froze, ears swiveling wildly. “Impossible,” he breathed. “I’ve been watching the arena all morning. How?” He blinked. “Has someone else been here this entire time!?”

That annoying pegasus rogue was staring, open-mouthed. Probably struck speechless at the sight of a true Arena Master, taking a battle seriously. Her eyes flicked to one side-

Crystal Emperor whirled about and parried the dark fireball which would have struck him in the back. “Show yourself!” He blocked two more fireballs that flew at him from far too close. “I’ll make you show yourself. Blade whirl!” The next fireball knocked him back and staggered him, as he knew it would, but one of his thrown daggers struck empty air, revealing a figure in a dark cloak trimmed with red.

“There you are,” purred a grinning Crystal Emperor, easily curing his burns with Shadow Mend. “Who are you?”

The only answer was the cloaked figure rushing forward to engage him again.

He parried the strikes without trying to counterattack, buying time to think. “You’re blocking my scan, but you’re clearly a shadowmage… diamond wolf? No… a changeling!” He pointed a dagger defiantly. “I know the fighting style of every top ranked PvPer on this server, and you’re not one of them. Who… are… you?!”

“Forbidden Technique,” rasped the cloaked combatant, speaking at last. “Time Stop!”

Crystal Emperor’s eyes widened. “There’s no way you have that unlocked! Even I don’t-”

Everything froze… except the cloaked figure, who rushed forward with a dark fireball in each hoof. Those froze in place too, the moment he let go of them, freeing him to cast two more, and another two after that… and then a Dark Nova and a Comet of Ruin…

Sci-Twi stared at her computer monitor. World of Horsecraft was frozen in greyscale, with a popup message that read (Someone on the server has cast Time Stop, please wait.) “Surely you can’t be serious.”

Spike the Dog looked up from his similarly frozen touchpad, wagging his tail. “I’m always serious, and don’t call me Shir-”

Sci-Twi threw a pillow at him.

Eight high-level war spells detonated all at once, rocking all of Ponyville while doing no structural damage whatsoever. A dramatic gust of wind dispersed the smoke cloud… and the audience started groaning and shaking their heads. “Oh, come on!” yelled Daring Do. “What does it take to kill that guy?!”

Not only had Crystal Emperor survived with one hit point left, but a message had just popped up. (By witnessing a Forbidden Technique, you have learned it yourself. Time Stop is now unlocked!)

He applied a bandage, then gulped down a health potion… safety first, *then* gloating. “Now, let me properly thank you for that experience!”

Unexpectedly, the cloaked figure dropped his combat stance. “You’ve won this round, but the next time you won’t be so lucky!” He hurled… a smoke bomb? A smoke bomb, of all the things a shadowmage might use?! … and Crystal Emperor lost sight of him.

His jaw went slack. “No… NO!”

Crystalsoft President Sombra spent a good ten seconds grinding his teeth, his face turning more and more beet red. Then he logged out, fingers stabbing at the keys. “THORAX!”

His junior lead developer hurried into the office, nearly tripping over the door jam. “Sir?”

Sombra slammed a fist on his desk. “Find the player I was just in PvP combat with! Find them now!”

Thorax chuckled nervously, trying to defuse the tension a bit. “Right away, sir! I’ll get started on nerfing their class immediately.”

Sombra scowled. “Are you trying to be funny, Thorax? I don’t pay you to be funny! This player was a shadowmage like myself, and besides that, you know good and well that I’d never cheapen my PvP victories that way!”

Sombra leaned back in his office chair, exhaling slowly. “No, I need you to find out if he was cheating. If not, I owe him 500 bits.” A grin spread over his face, one that would have sent Equestrian crystal ponies fleeing in abject terror. “However, if he WAS cheating… he’ll wish I’d only terminated his game account, once Tirek’s law firm is done with him!”

Thorax left at a brisk pace, as if he was going back to his own office, but then he doubled back and headed straight towards the QA cubicles. He barged right in and found Pharynx and Gilda snickering and whispering to each other… with a certain cloaked changeling shadowmage on Pharnyx’s character select screen.

“I knew it!” cried Thorax. “Brother, why do you keep antagonizing him like this? You know how the boss feels about cheating!”

Pharynx rolled his eyes. “Oh, please. Winning is the only thing that matters.” He smirked. “And not getting caught! Besides, how else am I supposed to test the anti-cheat program? My newest cheat program fooled the anti-cheat for two whole minutes, so I’ve got more work to do.”

Gilda stroked her chin, grinning sharply. “I don’t know… Maybe if you worked on your PvP, you could stop sucking and beat me without your cheats.”

Pharynx jumped out of his chair, right in Gilda’s face. “I suck at PvP, huh!? You wanna try me!”

Gilda stood and stretched, looming over the shorter man. “Maybe I do!”

Somehow, even though this was real life and not some kind of anime, battle auras seemed to blaze up behind them, his a red and black nightmare figure with spikes and blades, hers a bronze winged warrior with hammer in hand.

Gabby laughed nervously. “Please, can we not fight? There’s cupcakes in the break room!”

Session 101.6 Mtangalion

“Garble did that? Ouch!” Shining Armor chuckled, knowing how expensive imported Neighponese games could be. “I guess dragons and dating simulators don’t mix.”

Shining had traveled all the way to Ponyville by train, just to find Cadence staying at a hotel, undercover. Only, she’d been too excited to put much thought into it, so she was wearing a flowery hat and shades, and obviously still an Alicorn. “So, are you ready to give up on this ‘mission of romance,’ Cady? The Crystal Empire nobles don’t know what to do without you.”

Cadence grinned disturbingly. “Actually, I have a new plan!” She nuzzled up and kissed her stallion on the cheek. “Now that you’re here…”

Shining froze. “Oh no, I’m not getting mixed up in another one of your love schemes! There’s no way…”

“Hey there!” said a dragon that Garble had never seen before, just when Garble was swallowing a mouthful of Sapphire Crunch cereal.

Garble sputtered and coughed, spitting flames to clear his throat. The Friendship Castle kitchen’s crystal floor got an impressive scorch mark, but that was some pony’s problem, not his. “Oh, great,” muttered Garble. “More dragons? Ponies are gonna think we’re trying to turn Ponyville into Dragonville.” He paused, suddenly thoughtful. “Actually… delicious crystal castle, primo gem mines… Get an elder to dig a nice deep magma tap and it’d be wicked awesome…”

“Um… excuse me?” The new dragon was shorter than Garble, with light gray scales, a pale blue underbelly, and dark blue fins… and he was waving a claw, trying to get Garble’s attention.

Garble snorted. “You’re still here?”

“Yep! My name is Shining… er, Quartz! Just Quartz for short! Princess…” He coughed. “Ahem! Lord Ember sent me to be your coach for that date… thing… you’ve got coming up.” Quartz grinned hopefully, showing way too many fangs to be polite.

Garble squinted closely at him, then snorted and burst out laughing, to Quartz’s dismay. “Some pampered smoothscale is gonna tell me how to get girls? Yeah, right!” He elbowed Quartz, still chortling. “I get it… you don’t really wanna be here, but hey, Dragon Lord’s orders, right? It’s cool. We can hang out and do whatever, and I’ll tell Ember you did a great job.”

“But, I really can help you!” said Quartz, fuming.

Garble chomped down on another spoonful of Sapphire Crunch. “Prove it,” he mumbled with his mouth full.

Quartz took a deep breath. “You’re drawn to her, but you’re super jealous at the same time.” He lifted a claw dramatically, reaching out. “Your instincts tell you to protect her, to impress her with your strength, even though she could crush you without even trying, no matter how hard you train, and yet somehow, she’s still interested in you of all… dragons.”

Garble slowly stopped chewing and gaped at him, while his cereal spoon slipped out of his mouth and plopped back into the bowl. “Dude… Can you write that down? I need my bongos!”

“So, you’ll let me help you with the date?” asked Quartz excitedly.

Garble twitched. “And… the moment’s gone.”

Quartz’s expression crashed. “But…”

“Nope, bored now!” Garble gave him a friendly slap on the back that would have broken a pony’s ribs. “You might know a thing or two about that lovey-dovey junk, but how far can you belch a fireball?”

Quartz twitched his wings awkwardly. “I’m… not sure?”

“You’re kidding, right? You’re not kidding. Ugh, okay!” Garble rose, pumping a fist. “We’re gonna fix that, for a start! Hmm, we just need another dragon or two to make it a real contest...”

“HEY!” shouted Spike from inside the pantry. “Who ate all the Sapphire Crunch?!”

Garble smirked. “I guess he’ll do.”

Later, in Cadence’s hotel room, Spike could hardly contain his excitement. “And then after the fireball-belching contest, we went to that new griffon bar in town... which I’m totally old enough to visit now! … and had drinks that were actually on fire and a freestyle griffon/dragon rap battle where I won second place!” Spike buffed his chest scales. “Hanging out with other dragon guys is actually pretty fun, when I’m not getting mercilessly mocked and bullied!”

Cadence twitched, smiling a bit too brightly. “Oh… kay! We won’t tell Twilight about this if you don’t!”

She looked to Shining Armor, who was still transformed into Quartz the dragon. “Thanks for trying, Shiny, even if things didn’t go like I hoped they would. Ready to be a pony again?” The light gray dragon was staring off into space. “Shiny?”

Somewhere in the back of Shining Armor’s mind, five pairs of eyes swayed, blazing in the darkness and softly whispering...

Ponies are frail
Dragons are strong
Dragons go on and on and on
It feels good to want more and more
Ever stronger than before

Shining blinked. “What? No no, there’s no rush! I feel great!” The pony turned dragon grinned and jogged in place, demonstrating. “There’s no reason why I can’t spend more quality dragon time with Spike while I’m like this, and maybe I can try again with Garble later.”

Session 101.7 Kendell2

"Alright, so the base is all set up..." Rainbow Dash said, the Werecheetah tapping her chin. "We got the rest of the plan ready?"

Blueblood nodded. "Yes," he replied, looking at a spell scroll.

"How do you even know a spell like that?...Oh, right, NPC here to assist us..."

The kitsune gave a flat look. "Yes. That's correct. It's totally not because there are races that this spell makes negotiating with one on one far easier and more productive so Auntie uses it."

"My Weremonkeys are all ready and willing to go!" Pinkie Pie called, swinging down from the rafters.

"Alright, let that big lug find us..." Rainbow Dash smirked.

"Okay, so I've done the calculations based on which of the mountains could actually support a fortress of that size, and-" Twilight started, looking up from her notes as the fortresses' illusions vanished and only one was still standing. She gave a frustrated pout as she threw her notes into the air.

"Ya know it's a trap, right?" asked Applejack.

"Probably, but nothing a little Kirin muscle can't break through," Spike said, cracking his claws as the group took flight towards the base.

"Incoming! Monkey the party cannons!" Pinkie Pie called, putting on a helmet.

A large arsenal of party cannons emerged from the sides of the fortress and began to open fire on the Werekirins, managing to blast a few of them backwards but the rest just kept coming.

"Converge all cannons on Spike! Slow him down!" Rainbow Dash called.

Spike's eyes widened as the cannons all directed at him and fired, forcing him to dodge and evade. They might not be able to really hurt him, but they could slow him down or send him to the ground, which would be bad.

However, the rest of his army simply continued to attack the fortress, finding any way in...but that limited their numbers and Rainbow's Werecheetahs, Pinkie Pie's Weremonkeys, and Blueblood's Kitsunes made for a good team and were able to hold their own despite the situation, and even manage to convert some of their opponents.

"We can't hold out forever!" called Soarin'.

"We don't have to! Where's Twilight?!" asked Rainbow Dash...before Twilight landed on a few of their cannons and began ripping them apart. Being Twilight, she did so as intelligently as possible, avoiding the shots.

"Destroying our cannons!"

"Alright, Spike, I took care of the cannons!" Twilight called...before Rainbow Dash's claw grabbed her and pulled her into the hole the cannon used to be.

"Hey, Twilight, enjoying the game?" Rainbow Dash asked, giving a growl.

"Admittedly not as much as I would be if I'd been allowed to build up my Wereowl Kingdom, but yeah, still having some," Twilight replied.

The two exchanged blows a few times, Twilight being far stronger and more durable, but being completely outsped by Rainbow. She only needed one good hit, but getting that hit was proving difficult. Being Twilight, however, she ducked under a pounce with proper timing and tailwhipped the Werecheetah across the room. "Gotcha!"

Rainbow Dash looked up as Twilight pounced with intent to bite and convert her...only to for the Werekirin to blink as she noticed her smile. "What?"

"Now Pinkie!"

"Huh?!" Twilight asked, looking up as the Weremonkey hanging from the rafters threw a glass orb on her that shattered and doused her in Wereskunk spray. Her face quickly turned green with the sound of a foghorn (provided by Pinkie Pie), leaving her coughing, gagging, and grabbing her nose. "Gah! I thought Fluttershy was neutral?!"

"She is, we traded for them fair and square," Rainbow replied.

Twilight tried to recover, but realized Pinkie hadn't pounced on her and convert her. Why?

She got her answer when Blueblood leapt out of the shadows with a clothespin on his nose and bit her leg.

"You're our new Alpha now, Twilight," the Werekitsune replied as nine tails grew out of Twilight's rear and scales retreated into fur. He put a clothespin on her nose.

Twilight shook herself off. "Wow, that was a surprisingly competent plan...extremely unpleasant, but competent."

"Hey, I am a Wonderbolt..." Rainbow Dash replied with a smirk.

The group jumped as the entire thing shook.

"Ember has always wanted me to raid a castle!" Spike roared, ripping into the fortress and threatening to tear large enough holes for his army to break into and overun them.

"I hope there's more to the plan!" Twilight yelled.

"There is!" Blueblood called, holding the spell up. "I can't cast it myself!"

"Smart idea..."

Spike continued to rip into the base, having grown quite massive due to his desire to win...

= Main Theme - King Kong vs Godzilla =

Until Twilight and Blueblood's magic glowed and Pinkie Pie suddenly erupted out of the fortress equal in height to him directly face to face. "Giant monster fight!" she bellowed, full on tackling him and sending both falling down the hill and Spike being thrown for a loop by Pinkie Pie.

"That's cheating!" Spike yelled.

"Nope! Kitunes have magic powers, so we're playing by the rules!" Pinkie Pie said, dodging his fire breath with a cartwheel. "Now, let's play!"

The two charged, slamming into each other and wrestling. Or rather, Spike was, Pinkie Pie was being Pinkie Pie and countered a fire breath with a giant cream pie to the face.

"Alright! Everypony, you know the plan! I'll go get ready for my part of it!" Rainbow Dash called, the group instantly using the Wereskunk stinkbombs to repeat the strategy used on Twilight on the other Werekirins as they used the passage ways to restrict their numbers and single them out rather than let them be overrun. The Werekirins larger size proved a hindrance in enclosed quarters, allowing their much smaller and more agile foes to outmaneuver them, especially with the Weremonkeys using their strength to compliment the Kitsune's magic and the Cheetah's speed and they were disorientated by the musk.

Spike tailwhipped Pinkie Pie, sending her flying, but she caught herself on a mountain top, somehow swung around it and launched herself back at him with a dropkick.

Spike flew up and laughed. "Ha! Try to get me now!"

"Okay!" Pinkie Pie called, pulling a giant trampoline from nowhere and jumping on it, launching herself right at him, hug tackling him and sending both plummeting to the ground with a thunderous crash. Pinkie quickly tried to bite him, only from Spike to blast her off with his dragon fire. He leapt forwards and tried to bite her...only to find a giant piece of cotton candy shoved into his mouth.

"Ready to just negotiate?" Pinkie Pie asked.

Spike replied by burning the cotton candy to ashes and continuing to attack her. His larger, stronger blows were met by her summoning extending boxing gloves on springs. When Spike finally bit those, she pulled out a bat made from party balloons and clashed with his tail using it.

"Come on! That is part of the game too!" the Weremonkey called, continuing to clash.

The two continued brawling, but eventually Spike began overpowering her and threw her into a mountain. "Alright, time to have two giants on my side!" the Werekirin alpha called, pouncing on her and preparing to bite her...

Only to feel a sharp pain in his ear. His eyes widened as he realized what that meant.

"Tag, you're it!" Rainbow Dash called, climbing out of his ear hole as fur began to overtake him and he shrunk back down to normal size, now a Werecheetah.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Dang it!" Ember shouted, watching from the game room. "...Note to self, when I get to be giant watch my ears."

After the battle was done, Spike grumbled. "I can't believe I lost."

"It's kind of obvious why you did," Twilight replied, the Werekitsune walking over. "You were the strongest group and the most aggressive, but that's just it: it's like when that stupid hacked insert was put on the World of Hoofcraft server. The ENTIRE server teamed up to take on the gigantic threat ruining everycreature's fun. You put a huge target on your back Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and the Kitsunes formed an alliance and covered for one another while you just assimilated everyone. And actually cared about country management and resources."

"...In other words, Fluttershy was right when she told ya off," Applejack, now a Werecheetah, said.

"I don't understand, Spike, you normally aren't so aggressive, and I thought you were being the GM, whyever did you jump into the fray like that?" asked Rarity, now a Werekitsune once again.

Spike's eyes wandered to Blueblood, then back to Rarity. "...Well..."

"...Oh, Spike, it's just a little wish fulfillment is all," Rarity replied. "You know I wanted to be with Blueblood at the Gala if he wasn't such a uncharming jerk."

"Speaking of which, thanks for the help, NPC Blueblood," Rainbow Dash replied, patting him on the back.

"...Actually, no, that's the real Blueblood, Discord teleported him into the game..." Spike admitted.

Rarity's eyes widened as did Rainbow Dash's.

"Oh...um...sorry," Rarity apologized sheepishly.

"I was already aware of how you viewed me...and I must admit, that was rather fun..." Blueblood admitted.

"...You are a pretty smart guy when you're not being a jerk," Rainbow Dash replied.

"Regardless of Blueblood being real or fake, I hope you've learned a lesson from this," Twilight interrupted.

"...Don't ruin everypony's fun because I got jealous?" Spike mentioned, looking a bit guilty.

"And?"

"Don't use GM powers to insert yourself into the game as a blatantly overpowered character class?"

"Yes. I though Shining would've taught you that," the Werekitsune replied.

"I know...really sorry guys," the little Werecheetah replied, before Twilight pulled him into a hug.

"We all get carried away now and again," Twilight replied with a small smile. "...Now, how about we have some fun?"

"I'm game...should we restart the game?" asked Spike.

Twilight looked over to see the rather sizable den and collection of Wereskunks that Fluttershy had amassed...that actually now outnumbered even their combined forces and had more resources than the others combined. "Let's let Fluttershy have some more fun...I think she won anyway."

"...Fluttershy won by only fighting once in self defense...yep, that's Fluttershy for ya," Rainbow Dash said, the group sharing a laugh.

Session 101.8 Mtangalion

Dragon chess was surprisingly similar to standard pony chess, so much so that scholars could argue about which species had invented the game first. The rules were nearly identical, but the dragon version was much more physically demanding.

At this point, Princess Twilight Sparkle would have paused in her cheerful note taking and asked if she’d heard that correctly. It was no joke, though. In a proper Dragon Lands chess set, each piece was a carved stone statue of a legendary dragon hero or a villainous treasure-robbing other creature, weighed with a solid cast iron base.

This was quite convenient for Former Dragon Lord Torch. He could comfortably grasp the pieces and roll them around in his paw as he considered where to place them, and no errant wing flap or volcanic tremor would ever disturb the game board.

It wasn’t so convenient for the Dragon Lord herself. Even though Ember had trained her greed and grown about as large as she could get and still stand upright on two legs, the pieces were still as large as her entire body. She had to dig deep into her strength to lift the pieces, and deeper still to fly while carrying them… she even had to consciously muster extra fire magic for lift, when most dragons never thought about how their flying worked at all. Darn right, she carefully considered each move!

Torch nodded approvingly, watching her struggle. “I hear that young Heathspike enjoyed quite a battle recently… a contest of were-creatures. What did you learn from it, daughter?”

Ember leaned against the rook she’d just placed, panting. “Dragons being dumb and reckless can actually lose?”

Torch waggled a claw mildly. “Brute force, even overwhelming brute force, can lose to an opponent who is clever. It’s a good lesson. We do not reject our greatest strength, like the perverted Dragon Towners, but neither do we let greed rule over us. We must be its master!”

Ember paused, flexing her large and muscular forearms thoughtfully. “I shouldn’t have commanded Garble to date me...”

Torch arched a brow, then chuckled explosively. “He’s still your betrothed, Ember. He should have dated you without needing to be commanded! Hmph!”

Torch grasped a Whelp piece and moved it diagonally, capturing one of Ember’s Peasants. “It’s strange to think now, how far that one has come. From pathetic failure-at-everything, to savior of a generation of whelps. Perhaps he’s finding his own strength, out there in the pony lands…” Torch slammed a fist on the stone. “But there is to be no hugging, not on the first date! Make that clear to him!”

Ember smirked. “And if something crazy and impossible happens, and *I* want to hug *him*?”

Dragons all around the Dragon Lands looked up sharply, wondering if the volcano was erupting, but it was just Torch nearly busting a gut laughing.

Session 101.9 Kendell2

"So..." Spike said, looking as Applejack and Rainbow Dash played the fighting game based off of them. "Has anyone actually played the story mode?"

"Huh...yah know, Ah don't think we have," Applejack replied, pausing for a moment.

"Yeah, we've mainly just been playing against each other," Rainbow Dash continued. "Wonder what it's like."

"Probably just an excuse for a bunch of characters to fight each other like most fighting games, but can't hurt to check it out, right?" Spike asked.

So after the two had finished their match, Rainbow Dash loaded up the story mode and they got started. "Guess we'll take turns."

The story mode began with a panning shot of Chrysalis's castle, reminding Rainbow Dash the game was made before Chrysalis got dethroned. The Changeling Queen was beginning an odd ritual of some kind, a very complex one from the looks of it.

"Soon those pathetic ponies will learn they should have never crossed me, I just need to acquire allies," Chrysalis said, giving a chuckle as she began the ritual.

The screen then cut to Mirror Equestria where that universe's Cadence in a run down warehouse preparing a ritual of her own. "So, Aunties want to be the good guys now. Fine, I'll be happy to fill the void...as soon as I get some allies to retake the Crystal Empire," she hissed with an expression that reminded Rainbow Dash too much of quite a bit of Chrysalis. While she looked physically identical to their Cadence except for being far more Gothic in her preferences, her expressions and mannerisms coming out of Cadence was just freaky. "Isn't that right, honey?"

Her Shining Armor, who could favorably be compared to a beaten dog, cowered as he nodded. "Y-Yes honey..."

Unfortunately, Rainbow Dash knew this was an accurate depiction of the other Shining Armor, given all the mirror counterparts were based off what Celestia knew and what Twilight had returned with from that world. It freaked her out.

"Now, let us begin," both said at once with a split screen as both began their respective rituals.

As the spells glowed and energy emerged from both spell circles, they began to somehow mix despite being in separate worlds altogether.

Finally, as the spells reached their apex, reality shattered just like it had when Mirror Celestia had broken reality. The two recoiled from the explosion and covered their eyes...then blinked as they opened them, finding one another staring back at them.

Within a few moments their expressions went from shock and surprise to death glares.

"YOU!" they both screamed at the same time, preparing to pounce...at which point the option to choose a character came up.

"Okay, so do we play as Chrysalis or freaky mirror Cadence?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"...Honestly, I never thought I'd say it, but Chrysalis is less creepy than mirror Cadence is," Spike said with a shudder.

"Yeah, Ah'm with him," Applejack replied.

"Alright, the Queen of Mean it is," Rainbow Dash replied, selecting Chrysalis.

Given it was the first level, Rainbow Dash naturally had next to no problem with it and one fairly handily, ending with Chrysalis's ultimate victory.

The resulted in it going to a cutscene where Empress Cadenza being sent flying back and crashing to the ground, but quickly getting back to her hooves. The duo jumped at one another and grappled...before blinking.

"Wait, I recognize that hateful look in your eye," Chrysalis muttered, giving a confused look. "That's the hateful look in my eye!"

"Yeah, you're not that stupid love bug," Cadenza muttered. "My name is Empress Mio Odiato Cadenza, and you are?"

"Queen Chrysalis," Chrysalis replied. "Empress, not Princess?"

"And you're not a Duchess either...let me guess, you were trying to summon some allies from another universe?" the alternate Cadence asked.

"Yes, and looks like I might have found one," Chrysalis said, the two sharing a smirk. "Got some heroes you need help getting revenge on?"

"Yes, and I think this is the beginning of a wonderful team up," Cadenza said with a chuckle. "Though just to let you know, in the end I'm inevitably going to betray you."

"Oh, what are the odds! I was inevitably going to betray you...after the heroes are taken care of, of course," the Changeling Queen replied.

The two shared an evil laugh while Mirror Shining trembled in blind terror.

= This Day Aria (Reprise) - MLP Friendship is Magic =

"This Day is going to be perfect,
The kind of day I've dreamed of since I was small.
Every pony we'll soon control,
Every stallion, mare, and foal!
Who says a girl can't really have it all!" the two sang as the picture faded to black with only their respective glowing eyes visible.

"...Well, that was creepy," Spike muttered.

Session 101.10 Unown3

In Dragon Town, not knowing they'd be doing the same thing a thousand years later in a yearly contest to sustain Dragon Town's independence from the Dragon Lands, Mina and Ember played Dragon Ante with stone playing cards.

"I've noticed there aren't major records of Greed Growth in your... ugh, town."

"That's because we store our hordes in these things called banks, and we get these little notes that legally declare our ownership of them."

Ember sincerely did her best to hide her shiver of disgust at how unnatural that sounded.

"What I want to know is,, how do YOU stand having Tiamat in your head all the time." Mina asked.

"Oh she doesn't do it every moment of every day, if that's what you were told. It's just a sense of comfort knowing that you're part of a far greater horde... We are her treasure. What I don't get is how Spike apparently never feels her presence."

"Well," Mina said, "From what Spike's told ME, his mother basically gave him away to spite Sludge for being an irresponsible loser. So I guess Celestia has a claim on him."

"True, but he still responded to the call of the Blood Stone Scepter where none of you were called home," Ember observed.

"We are home, I'm pretty sure you dad knew better than to try and call any of us."

Mina was right. But also Mina did NOT tell the Dragon Lord that Bahamut MIGHT have given Mina's grandfather a artifact with as much his divine blessing as Tiamat's blessing was upon the blood stone scepter.

-

"That's interesting," Twilight said looking at her notes. "Hey Spike, according to this, big brother is technically now a citizen of the Crystal Empire rather than Equestria."

"I thought the Crystal Empire was PART of Equestria!"

"That's... a bit complicated. I think the other kingdoms are worried it's only a matter of time before we replace all of THEIR rulers with rulers who answer only to Celestia... So as a sign of good will, Shining Armor declared he's only a citizen of the Crystal Empire."

Session 101.11 Unown3

"Well Silver Spoon," Twilight Sparkle said. "You're in luck..."

"Did my character find their way out of the Maze the Lady of Pain put my Spelljammer captain in?"

"Oh no," Twilight shook her head. "She took you out herself."

Babs, Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon all went, "WHAT?!"

"Using her Dabus to communicate, you learn that she has chosen you for a very dangerous quest."

Diamond Tiara warned, "But the Lady of Pain DOESN'T GIVE OUT QUESTS! EVER! It's against the rules!"

Silver Spoon waved her off, "Come on, who'd be STUPID enough to impersonate the Lady of Pain?"

Diamond Tiara shook her head and looked at the calm smile on Twilight Sparkle's smiling face behind the Oubliette Overseer. "That ISN'T what I mean!"

"What is this quest?" Silver Spoon dared ask. Diamond Tiara felt like she was in an opposite universe!

"A mad pony sits on a throne underneath the infinite spire, his insanity had twisted the multiverse into a perversion of what it once was! The longer he will corrupt reality!"

"Why us?" Babs asked.

"The Dabus explain that the Lady does not explain herself."

"Should've known," Babs said.

Diamond Tiara was worried. Silver Spoon had reeked havoc on the Princess' campaign setting for years now... Diamond Tiara knew the fine art of revenge, and the dish was best served cold.

The mysterious dungeon underneath the spire was even more freaky. The rules said that no magic, no special abilities, NOTHING could work at the base of the spire, no being could even harm another! Yet... The portal that had taken them here... magic and everything was functioning normally. Then again, it's not like there was any official lore for what lay underneath the spire anyway.

Diamond Tiara also noticed all the monsters were more recent addition creatures that Silver Spoon had disliked the modification of, or addition to the game. More bad signs.

After fighting two a small squad of demons, the trio had come to the final chamber. Sitting on a simple shaped but infinitely complex patterned throne, was a stallion, looking starved, twitching, his flank glued to the seat, and looking quiet insane.

"HEHEHEHH! More of my fig-fig-figment! Figs like a fig tree! I pluck you like fruit! Plucking you like a guitar fruit!"

It was another kind of disturbing how easy it was for Princess Twilight to imitate insanity.

And they fought, the mad stallion summoning random monsters of random levels in random spots in the spherical chambers. Their loyal cohorts, henchmen, and followers falling one by one against the horde. Then the mad stallion used a breath weapon... of 'filth'.

"If I get hit by that, I'm taking a dozen baths in game and real life!" Diamond Tiara gagged.

But thankfully... they did... and with Silver Spoon's cutlass, her wildspace-pirate captain/planes-walker beheaded the nameless mad stallion,, his body shriveling up.

And the chamber shook, no, the entire multiverse began shaking,, and then cracks began to appear in reality.

"The throne! The throne is empty!" They heard mournful cries.

Twilight Sparkle continued to smile. Everything going according to plan.

"Fine!" Diamond Tiara said. "My character-"

And right on cue-

"No! My character sits on the throne, she's closest!"

And Twilight Sparkle them turned the OO screen over to Silver Spoon.

"And there we go."

"... What... what... WHAT?!"

"You clearly had a very concise idea of what kind of world you wanted to play in Silver Spoon and you clearly had thought a lot about it... I thought it was time to let you take the reign now."

Diamond Tiara slammed her hooves on the table while Silver Spoon and Babs were bewildered.

"I know what this is all REALLY about! If you become Princess of everything, then you don't want OO-ing for us anymore to cut into your precious time! So you just saddled your responsibilities on somepony else!"

Somewhere, Princess Celestia and Luna sneezed.

"But... but... I wouldn't even know where to begin!" Silver Spoon stammered.

"Oh you'll do fine. Don't worry so much. You're just overreacting. All your doubts and worried are just you having cold hooves. All your experiences have made you perfectly suitable for a job you weren't working towards or actually preparing for in the least!"

The twitching grin on Princess Twilight Sparkle's face made Diamond Tiara nervous.

Author's Note

Session 101.0 Kendell2 (Happy Birthday Alex!)
Session 101.1 Mtangalion Ardashir
Session 101.2 Ardashir
Session 101.3 Ardashir
Session 101.4 Unown3
Session 101.5 Mtangalion
Session 101.6 Mtangalion
Session 101.7 Kendell2
Session 101.8 Mtangalion
Session 101.9 Kendell2
Session 101.10 Unown3
Session 101.11 Unown3

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?
What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Art by by XeviousGreenII, used with permission. https://www.deviantart.com/xeviousgreenii/art/Cover-for-a-Non-existent-Video-Game-804404846

MLP FIM copyright Hasbro.

Session 102

Session 102.0 Mtangalion and Alex Warlorn

On a good day, Applejack could tumble into her bed and be out like a light, the moment her head touched the pillow. One of the many benefits of working a farm from dawn to dusk, or as Applejack would have called it, healthy living. Unfortunately, a late evening spent grading Honesty exam papers only exhausted the mind, not the body.

“Not again,” muttered Applejack, as she tossed and turned. She sprawled belly-up, staring at the ceiling. “Ah done told Twi already, Ah have a day job!” She punched her pillow with a hoof. “That settles it. One more year, and Ah’m out, whether there’s another teacher hired or not!”

Sometime after that, sleep finally claimed the exhausted mare, but her dreams were decidedly... peculiar.

Scales are better
Than soft fur
Strength fills bellies
Not soft words

In fevered dreams, Applejack walked the length and breadth of Sweet Apple Acres, and her heart swelled with pride. The towering trees, the rich soil, the house where so many generations had lived, the produce that fed half of Ponyville… Hers. Her ancestors, her family, her hard work had made all of this possible. She had every right to be proud! The Acres, her accomplishments and fame as the Bearer of Honesty… she’d earned them and then some! Life was good, and the future promised even better.

Wrapped in those dreams and burrowing deeper into her bed covers, Applejack slept as warm and snug as she ever had in her life… until her eyes blinked open, and full sunlight hit them.

“What in tarnation…” Applejack furrowed her brow. When had her voice gotten all gruff and scratchy like that? “Am Ah sick?” she wondered aloud. “Is that why they let me sleep in?” She crawled out of bed and stumbled over to the bowl on her bedside table, so she could splash water in her eyes. Then she caught sight of her reflection in the water and immediately hollered, stumbling back with a crash.

“What.” She lifted shaking hooves. No, not hooves. Claws! Orange scaly claws that wiggled at her command... just like Spike’s claws. “What!?”

She rose up, wobbling upright on two legs, and took a longer look at the face reflected in the bowl… Orange scales, sharp fangs… Golden fins, too, making a crest that swept over the top of her head and down her back, like a foal’s drawing of the sun.

It wasn’t a bad face, she thought, as she tugged on the crest, then patted her scaly cheeks. She’d spent enough time around Spike and the other dragons at the school to not be terrified or repulsed… It was just that it was a *baby dragon’s* face, and she wasn’t? Hadn’t been?

Applejack stared down her reflection and said “Ah’m a dragon,” trying it on for size.

Strange, how right that felt…

Then she heard heavy steps, coming up the stairs. “Applejack?” called the voice of Granny Smith. “You okay in there? Ah’m coming in!”

Applejack felt a touch of panic. “Hold on, Granny! Ya might want to sit down before…”

Her bedroom door swung open… and there stood another dragon, a *big* ‘un, two or three times her size, with lime-green and lemon-yellow scales. The same colors her granny had when she was young... because *of course* Granny was a dragon too.

“What the hay?” breathed Applejack, gobsmacked. “Am Ah still dreamin’?”

“Enope!” Granny scooped Applejack up and snuggled her to her chest, grinning from earfin to earfin. “Unless yer talkin’ about it being a dream come true. Ya finally turned at last!”

“Granny!” protested Applejack. “Ah ain’t a baby!”

Granny winked. “Funny, you sure look like one to me!” She ducked under the doorframe, easily carrying her downstairs to the living room.

Applejack groaned, giving up on trying to squirm loose. “And what do you mean, turned? Into a dragon?”

“Oh, kinda yes, kinda no! Yer a kirin, AJ!” Before Applejack could object, Granny added, “Not that other kinda kirin. We’re the kind of ponyfolk what can turn into dragons whenever we have a notion to!”

Applejack looked even more doubtful. “Like in those dang blasted romance novels?”

Granny shook a claw in her face. “Don’t you be dissing Midnight Heart. You know she’s one of my favorite authors.” She beamed. “Although, Ah might be a teensy bit biased!”

Granny settled in her favorite recliner, which groaned beneath the weight of so much dragon, and held Applejack in her lap. “You had me wondering if you’d ever change, seeing as how you risked life and limb saving Equestria darn near every week, and you still hadn’t turned. Ah shouldn’ta worried, though. Of course, you’d be one of us, what with you having kirin blood from me and Grand Pear both!”

This day couldn’t possibly get any stranger, thought Applejack. So of course, her brother chose that moment to come downstairs, also looking pleased as punch. “‘Bout time, sis!” he said, ruffling her crest with a big hoof. “Say, does this mean Ah can change around the house now?”

Granny tapped her chin with a claw. “Well, there’s still Apple Bloom, but it’s not like she’s any stranger to ponies turning into dragons, what with her friend Scootaloo…”

“Okay, thanks Granny!” Right before her eyes, Big Mac blurred and became… well, Garble. If Garble was actually handsome and had muscles like an earth pony blacksmith. “Got work ta do, Granny. Later!” Then he flew right out the door. Literally flew. As in, with his very own red leathery wings.

Granny shook her head. “Young ‘uns these days.” She blinked. “Oh my! Ah need to get the photo album and the camera! Can’t miss getting a few shots of this!” She set Applejack on the sofa and took off at a jog. “Back in a jiffy!”

AJ looked up at a framed family photo on the wall, head still spinning. “Ah guess all this dragon business explains how Granny’s stayed healthy and active at her age. Maybe Ah should be grateful.” She tilted her head. “So how come Ah remember Granny needing a new hip? No, that don’t make sense. Ah… ugh!” She felt a sudden stabbing headache, and her slit-pupiled eyes narrowed, shimmering with the orange light of Honesty.

“Granny’s been healthy all this time… but she’s been barely getting around too? And Ah remember Granny gettin’ turned into a dragon, and Ah can’t have…” The young dragoness gasped. “Discord! Ah remember all of it now! You did one of those random-active things, didn’t ya?! Granny, her friends, Grand Pear, you made it so they were always kirin from the start!”

“Bravo!” shouted a squeaky voice… from inside the family portrait?! The tiny image of her Pa was now an animated Discord, giving her a round of applause. With another flash of light, he poofed out of the painting and reappeared in the flesh, still wearing Pa’s Stetson. “I believe the word you’re looking for is ‘retroactive,’ but if you enjoy making up new and silly words, then by all means, be my guest!”

Applejack snatched the hat off Discord head’s and jammed it onto her own, huffing a bit of flame. “Ah’d rather you stop monkeying around with mah family history, and fix me back like Ah was!”

Discord blinked. “You do realize, you’re now perfectly capable of changing yourself from pony to dragon and back again? But, if you insist…” He shrugged, turning mismatched palms up. “I suppose I’ll have no choice but to make *everything* just like it was before.” He raised his claws to snap…

Applejack frowned. It wasn’t like Discord to stop having fun and mischief, just because somepony… or somedragon asked nice. Then AJ gasped in horror, suddenly realizing that turning everything back would make her granny an ancient mare at death’s door again, and it’d be AJ’s fault!

“Stop!” cried Applejack, grabbing Discord’s claws before he could snap. “Ah… Ah spoke hastily. Please, don’t change it back yet. Ah gotta think about this…”

“Of course!” said Discord, grinning like a shark. Or like Flim or Flam… there wasn’t much difference. He conjured a green lollipop with a flick of his fingers and pressed it into AJ’s hand without asking. “Take all the time in the world. Well, not all the time… you don’t have that, though you do have a great deal more!” He vanished in another pop-flash

Applejack trudged out of the house, feeling grass and dirt pressing against scaly soles instead of hard hooves. She could have flown… her own small wings fluttered against her back, eager to try it, but AJ wasn’t quite ready for *that* yet. If she ever would be.

“What the hay am Ah supposed to do now?” she growled. “Am Ah really thinking of letting Discord get away with this? ‘Hey, girls! Discord did a thing, so Ah guess Ah’m a dragon now!’” She licked the lollipop absentmindedly, and was a little shocked by the pure sparkling sweetness on her tongue. This… this wasn’t an apple-flavored candy... Discord had given her an emerald on a stick!

While she was still marvelling at this, she came upon one of the innermost apple fields, and found Big Macintosh setting up buckets beneath the trees, still a red dragon. “Ah was hoping you’d be out this way, sis. Ready to learn applebucking, the kirin way?”

AJ stared up at her brother, jaw slack. “Ah can still do that?”

“Just reach for your magic, like ya always do,” said Big Mac, steering her over to one of the trees.

Well, what did she have to lose? Applejack took a deep calming breath, and there it was… the power of the earth, flowing up through two legs instead of four. More than that, she felt a *second* source of magic, blazing in her chest like the brightest bonfire from the biggest Apple family reunion in history.

Big Mac cleared his throat. “Take it nice an’ slow, AJ.” He patted the apple tree’s trunk reverently. “And mind ya only use earth on Bessie here, not the fire. Try it like this…”

AJ gulped, then copied Big Mac and curled her claws into a *fist* and *punched* the tree trunk. Old Bessie shook and dropped all her apples into the buckets, neat as you please.

“Well, Ah’ll be danged,” breathed AJ, slipping the Stetson off her scaly head. A dramatic breeze blew, perfectly timed… which prompted her to look up and confirm that it was no accident… it was Rainbow Dash with a giddy grin, gliding down to meet them… in her own iridescent blue dragon form, naturally.

And why hadn’t AJ thought of *that* before? The things they could do… the all new competitions they could get into, now that they were *both* dragons!

And in the back of her head, that voice from her dream whispered...

Dragons are true
Dragons don’t hide
What the Apple holds inside
Dragon flame
And dragon pride

Applejack grinned suddenly, fangs gleaming. “Hey, Discord? If yer listening, ya don’t need to change anything back. Ah’m good.”

--

"And we recant the blood oath to kill you on sight if you ever enter our lands," Tiamat's central head said simply.

"Pleasure doing business with you," Discord bowed and poofed away.

"Dear, when it was just Cadenza's mortal spouse, I was willing to look the other way... but I fear you are getting... " Bahamut said carefully.

"What? Greedy? What example would I be to my dragons if I wasn't?"

"With the storm I sense that will soon hit... is it wise to add more chaos to the mix?"

Tiamat's right most head blinked. "Add more... chaos... curse Discord!"

-

Starlight Glimmer was going over the policy changes she was preparing for her reign as new principle of the friendship school... when a flash of temporal magic got her attention... it was... herself... with wings.

"I thought I should let myself know, after we ascend, we get saddled with looking after our Equus' timeline ..." The Alicorn Starlight said flatly.

"Uh... any reason for warning me NOW?!"

"Discord's begun to treat causality as his plaything again... I thought I should warn myself. Also, because I already did, so I am now."

"... Good thing I finished this 'protection from time distortions spell'... SINCE WHEN ARE APPLEJACK'S FAMILY WERE DRAGONS?!"

"... Now you get it."

-

"Are you SURE you can't find that 'enslave all dragons to my evil will' artifact?" Cozy Glow asked.

"Trust me, villains have been looking for it for eons," Ira said.

Session 102.1 Alex Warlorn

Diamond Tiara sat behind the Magical Guide screen. Her hooves together business style. "Alright girl... and whelp... Do you have your magical fillies ready?"

Diamond Tiara held back a sigh. The girls and Spike creating characters that were just in-game extensions of themselves were sadly par the course in this neighborhood... though Discord had played an utterly normal straight man in the alien teenagers setting that Princess Twilight ran for a while.

Apple Bloom started off, "Ah've got Princess Pear Dream! She can manipulate plants and help them grown and uses pear blossoms! Her path is love between parents!"

Sweetie Belle said, "Mine is Princess Fine Cooking! She creates the best cookies and other sugary treats that everybody loves! Her path is love between friends!"

Scootaloo said, "Well. I'm is Princess Lightning Glitter! She can fly, has lightning powers without having to use clouds. Her path is love of adventure!"

Silver Spoon said, "Mine is Gleaming Bright! Her magic is purification! Her path is love for those who are so close they transcend friends and become sisters!"

Spike was last. "Mine is Princess Amethyst Treasure! She can summon and form stuff out of jewels! She has a love of beauty!"

Diamond Tiara nodded. "Okay, as per the rules I'll be role play your spirit guide. Mewy! A pink cat with feathery wings! ... As you know, there aren't hit points in this game, but heart points. Your magical girl is defeated if they lose all heart. You've been summoned by the leading Magical Filly of your territory, Princess Bright Light! All bow before her as-"

Scootaloo said, "HEY! Lightning Glitter doesn't bow to anypony! Let alone another magical girl!"

Diamond Tiara said, "But, it's just part of the opening scene, it's not really-"

Sweetie Belle added,, "Fine Cooking sneaks into the kitchen to see if she can borrow any recipes without asking while she's there to improve her magic!"

"Huh!? But shouldn't you-"

Apple Bloom asked, "If Ah challenge her to a battle and defeat her, do Ah become the new head magical girl 'round here? Ah'm gonna find out!"

"Not if Amethyst Treasures beats her first!"

Silver Spoon said, "Uh, I pretend not to know the rest of my squad... oh wait, that's automatically heart damage for abandoning my friends isn't it?"

Diamond Tiara held her face in her hooves.

-

"And they acted like they were playing a 'kick in the door, hack and slash' Ogres and Oubliettes games!" Diamond Tiara said her hair frazzled.

Princess Twilight said, "Maybe they're objecting to you being too controlling?"

"TOO CONTROLLING?! I let them completely design their characters, even letting them use the expansion books when I didn't like the idea, I brought in Spike even though I thought it was weird, I did my best to not play favorites with Silver Spoon, and I did everything to make sure they could continue on the adventure so all that time designing their magical fillies wasn't wasted! And then they said I was trying to 'punish them' for not doing what I said, after their fight damaged the Crystal Love Tower (from them using area attacks in a confined space) and the dark forces invaded the tower. And accused me of fudging things when the other magical fillies were demanding they be given a time out!"

"Are they under evil mind control magic?"

"I checked, no."

"... You know... when I played Call of Ponythulu, Rainbow Dash complained for a while, thinking the point was to FIGHT the monsters, and didn't understand why her character kept dying or going insane. And Applejack didn't understand why the truth should drive ponies mad... I had to explain to them in their language the kind of adventure Ponythulu was supposed to be... Maybe you need to speak to them in their language what kinda adventure the Frills And Wands setting should be."

(If anyone wants to continue or writ the solution, go ahead.)

Session 102.2 Mtangalion

Even with all the changes in Ponyville lately, many of Sugarcube Corner’s regular morning patrons did a double-take, seeing *three* dragons sitting around a table, patiently waiting for their order and not making a ruckus or destroying anything.

Pinkie Pie pronked out of the kitchen and plunked a pan of practically perfect pastries down on the table. “There you go!” she sang out. “This one’s on the house, because you get to be the first dragons to try my brand new sapphire-blueberry muffins!”

“Thanks!” ‘Shining Quartz’ took a muffin, seeming amused that he didn’t have to wait for it to cool. “Now, here’s the first thing you need to know about fancy dining, pony style…”

Then he took his first bite of the muffin, and his eyes bulged. “Oh my Celestia!” Suddenly, table manners were the last thing on his mind. He scarfed down the rest of the muffin, getting crumbs everywhere. “These are SO GOOD!” He grabbed a second muffin and started cramming that one into his mouth too.

Spike rolled his eyes and started to take a bite of his own muffin, only for Quartz to snatch it right out of his claws. “Hey!”

“MINE!” purred Quartz, grabbing muffin after muffin. “This one’s mine, mmmmf, and that one’s mine…” Worse, the gray and blue dragon starting *growing*, crushing the wooden chair he’d been sitting in.

Pinkie gasped, looking around for their bucket of emergency ice water, but Garble stood up, shoving his chair back. “I got this.” He smacked a fist into a palm, then punched Quartz right in the snout. Quartz flew back, bounced off a wall, and crumpled to the floor, quickly shrinking back to normal once the spell of the greed growth was broken.

Garble stood over Quartz, ignoring the panicking pony customers. “Dude, stop embarrassing yourself!” He leaned towards Spike and whispered, “Seriously, what rock has this guy been living under?”

Spike wrung his claws, feeling a lot of different things… nervousness about knowing that Quartz was really Shining Armor and keeping that a secret from Garble… guilt for not thinking to warn Shining what could happen if he got too greedy… relief, knowing that Shiny had a dragon’s toughness right now and a little knock like that wouldn’t do him any lasting harm...

Mostly, though, Spike couldn’t help but mope over the mess of squashed and half-eaten muffins. “I didn’t even get to taste one...”

Pinkie patted him on the head. “Aw, don’t worry, Spikey! I’ve got another batch baking in the kitchen. Wait right here!”

Pinkie hummed cheerfully as she tended to one of the ovens, the one which currently had a hoof-lettered sign reading “Gem dish - DRAGONS ONLY.” The flames in the oven seemed especially merry and bright this morning, almost hypnotic…

Ponies are dull
Dragons are bright
Dragons have fun
Both day and-

“Hi there, voice in my head!” said Pinkie. She gasped. “Ooh, you’re new! Does that mean I should throw you a party? Not a tea party, of course, that didn’t go so well last time, but maybe since you’re an imaginary voice, I can imagine a party for you!”

Pinkie grabbed her spatula and started turning the muffins over. “Spatula! Heehee…”

Dragons can feast
As they wish
Dragons-

“Gosh, do you like poems?” asked Pinkie. “You must really like poems! You should go be a voice in Garble’s head, he really likes poems too! He also likes Dragon Rap, but I don’t like it so much and he said my Pony Rap was lame and stupid, but that’s okay, Garble’s still a meany-pants sometimes but he’s learning!”

Dragons are-

“Cat facts! Did you know that cats conserve energy by sleeping up to fourteen hours a day?”

STOP THAT!

Pinkie giggled. “No, you stop it!”

…

Pinkie put on a serious brooding RPG hero look. “...”

… Dragons are really neat. Your friends are turning into dragons, and you want to be one too. You should bake some turn-into-dragon cookies and eat them right now.

Pinkie put a hoof to her chin. “Hmm… Hmm! No, I don’t think so.”

Half a world away, the Dragon Isles were simultaneously wracked by an earthquake and a firestorm, as Tiamat vented her rage.

Bahamut gave her a smug grin. “Dear, did you really believe that you were going to scoop up ALL of ponykind’s heroes like so many checkers?”

He leaned to one side, smoothly dodging the boulder she hurled at him.

Session 102.3 Mtangalion

“Seriously?” deadpanned Quartz the Dragon, aka Prince Shining Armor of the Crystal Empire. “We’re having a secret undercover team meeting… at the Ponyville spa?” He splashed scaly feet in the hot tub, frowning at the curls of steam rising from the water. “You know, this doesn’t even feel warm…”

“Hah!” Spike looked up from his borrowed copy of Dusklight: Dawn of the Kirin. “Finally, someone else gets it!”

Lotus Blossom approached, bowing apologetically. “So sorry, friends, but hot tub cannot be any hotter, and regrettably, lava bath is out of question. I mean, lava, in building used by ponies? Who even does that?”

Princess Twilight Sparkle sneezed violently, and was mortified to discover that she’d accidentally turned all of her History of Friendship students into griffons. “I am so sorry! I’ll get you all changed back right away!”

“Hey, it’s cool, no rush!” said Gallus, who was strutting and displaying his plumage for the mesmerized griffon hen versions of Smolder, Silverstream, and Ocellus.

Spike coughed into a fist. “Nah, it’s fine! I just pretend these spa visits are a trip to the pool.” He frowned at the Dusklight novel. “Also, this story is cheesy as Tartarus.”

Princess Cadence gasped, sitting bolt upright in the hot tub beside them. “You take that back!”

Spike smirked. “What, or you’ll take away my statue?”

“I might!” said Cadence.

“I roll a charisma check!” countered Spike.

Ignoring that, Cadence leaned against her transformed husband, putting a foreleg around him. “You know, you might enjoy the spa more as a pony…”

Quartz hesitated. “I… I just don’t know… I wanted to make this work, Cady. I thought it could solve everything…”

Cadence frowned. “Everything… meaning?”

Quartz clasped her hoof in his claws. “You and Flurry Heart being immortal, and me… well not. We don’t know if lightning will ever strike twice and make me an Alicorn Prince too. If I was a dragon, I could stay with you and Flurry for so much longer. I could even switch back and forth!”

Cadence held him closer. “Oh, Shiny… You could do that, until you got older than a pony can be, and then you’d have to be a dragon full time. Would you really be happy that way?”

They heard splashing, and looked up to see Spike close by, giving them a somber look. “There’s another thing… Something I’ve had to think about myself lately. Being a dragon means, well… outliving everycreature who isn’t a dragon.” He scratched the back of his neck. “Unless every other creature turned into a dragon too like Rainbow Dash, but that would be kinda crazy, right?”

Applejack sneezed violently, and was alarmed to discover that she’d set one of her trees ablaze. “Quick, Mac, how do Ah do freeze breath? … No freeze breath, huh?”

“Enope!” said Big Mac. Pony or dragon, some things stayed reassuringly the same.

Quartz sunk deeper into the water, just the top of his head visible. “I was doing great at first, but then I started hearing this voice, slipping into my thoughts. Maybe it’s a side-effect of the transformation spell or something? How am I supposed to control myself when it feels like there’s always this voice in my head that keeps telling me to be… well, a dragon!? No offense.”

Spike chuckled. “Heh, none taken. That’s probably just Tiamat.”

There was dead silence around the hot tub.

Quartz sat up, splashing hot water everywhere. “You hear a voice like that too, Spike? Since when?!”

Spike blinked. “Um… since all my life? I mostly tune her out, though, especially since… that one time.” He grinned brightly. “I’d rather listen to Bahamut, anyway. He teaches us that dragons can also be noble, not just greedy!”

“Noble dragons?” echoed Quartz. He gripped the hot tub, suddenly feeling dizzy.

Ponies burn
In time’s fire
Dragons live long
As they desire

(A noble dragon holds fast to those he loves, for they are his true treasure.)

Quartz gulped. “Cady, change me back right now. Please? I need to be clear-headed while I think about this, and I’ll think a lot more clearly as a stallion.”

Cadence beamed, lighting her horn. “My pleasure. Of course, I can’t promise that I’ll let you think clearly, not right away. I’ve been without my handsome stallion for three whole days, after all...”

“And, that’s my cue to go.” Spike hopped out of the tub, hunting for a towel. “If I wanted more mushy stuff, I would have kept reading the novel!”

Session 102.4 Alex Warlorn

"So Cozy Glow and Tirek are missing from Tartarus, and apparently have for a long long time.... Everything will be fine!" Twilight said with a hug grin on her face.

"You've never gotten a better poker face," Spike remarked.

Session 102.5 Ardashir

"You know, with all these new dragons appearing in Ponyville, maybe we should start stocking entertainment better suited to them," Starlight said to Spike.

"Uh, yeah," he said absently as he read his latest issue of Fireflash Comics, sent courtesy of Mina. "But what though? Not a lot of Dragonlands dragons would read about Fireflash, she's printed in 'that den of cowardly sellouts'."

They stood near Garble, who was wearing a suit and vest that Rarity had gladly modified for him upon hearing of the date with Ember. He was holding a box full of rubies under one scaly arm and shifting uneasily from one claw to the other as he waited for Ember to finally show up for their date.

"Besides," Spike shrugged, "dragons mostly don't 'get' art. Just ask Garble."

"Hey!" Starlight and Spike jumped as Garble loomed above them. "That's, like, totally not true! Dragons have their own art! Not that we need a lot of it, we're not puny ponies after all. But we have some!" He gave a superior sniff. "I've seen it. In old lairs. Lots of times!"

"Really?" Starlight waved one hoof. "Okay, give. What 'art'?"

"Dragon comics!"

"Hah!" Garble showed his fangs as Starlight laughed. "Come on, Garble! What did they draw them on, cave walls?" She winced as he reached over and knocked on her head.

"Duh, yeah, where else?" Garble grinned. "Dragons used ta use cave paintings and carvings to teach the hatchlings what they needed ta know. Well, finally somedragon decided ta tell stories that way. About the same character. The Golden Dragon!" Garble yelled the last and every pony in range of his voice jumped. Most ran, too, with Spike and Starlight holding their ground. "He, like, fought all the greedy backstabbing ponies and griffons and sellout hoardless dragons who helped them. Not that we believe that any more, heh-heh." He grinned nervously as Starlight and Spike glared at him. "But Golden Dragon was awesome. The dragon who drew him taught all of us how ta be dragons."

"Yeah, he's the one we can blame for making us savages," a new voice broke in. All three turned. Garble gulped. Ember stood there, her scales and armor polished, looking imperious and magnificent. She sniffed at the sight of Garble. "What, Garble, you still haven't made a set of armor? How can you engage in fire-breathing and rock-crushing contests with me if you're dressed like some pony?"

"Ya mean I don't have ta wear this? Yes!" Garble tore the suit from his scales.

"Hey, hold on," Spike flew up to Ember. "Whatever happened to this 'cave comic dragon', anyway?"

Ember shrugged. "He vanished about the time that Dragontown," she growled, "started up. Who knows where he went?"

And far away in Dragontown, Mina showed her last customers of the day out. She locked the door and walked down into the massive lair beneath it. Inside it a huge dragon with a family resemblance to both her and Master Babylon was carving scenes of action into a huge plaque of mounted stone. "Hey, Dad! The latest issue of Fireflash didn't sell as well, maybe you should trim those ten-page-long scenes involving dragon politics?"

"Hmmph!" He snorted a gout of flame. "I never had this problem back in the Dragonlands!"

"Yeah, you did when you criticized Torch. That's part of why we're living here, remember?"

Session 102.6 Alex Warlorn

The Mane Pets sat around for their weekly O&O game.

Philomena as the Overseer.

Angel as a barbarian/thief.

Gummy as a wild mage.

Tank as a fighter.

Opalescence as a cleric to the goddess of vanity and bloodshed and greed.

Owlowiscious as a wizard.

And Winona as a druid.

Philomena asked, "Have you noticed how our masters have begun to ignore us as of late?"

Angel huffed. "Speak for yourself! Everypony still pays attention to me!" The rabbit clearly took mountains of pride in that! "If you ask me, you're just projecting! Just because Sun-Butt stopped paying attention to YOU, doesn't mean the rest of our masters have!"

Gummy remarked, "None of you fools have noticed how we started out as perfectly mundane animals and those of us with exceptional smarts were deemed the exception, not the rule?"

Owlowiscious remarked, "I wouldn't say that. Spike thought Twilight would throw me out for not accepting pony morality and eating mice as is my natural compulsion."

Tank asked, "Don't owls also eat rabbits and cats?"

Opalescence hissed, "Just try it!"

Philomena coughed, "I just mean, it's like we've been pushed aside. Like there isn't enough time in our master's lives for us anymore...like we've been replaced."

The pets looked at each other, then looked down from the one in the storage room they were using for their game... and spied down on the student six.

Sandbar said, "WHAO! I just felt a shiver go down my spine!"

Winona asked, "Can we please get back to playing the game? We need to rescue all the wizards that the big purple dragon trapped in his enchanted books!"

Session 102.7 Mtangalion

Garble folded his arms, looking about as deep in thought as he ever got. “So Ember wanted a traditional dragon date this whole time? Hah! What was I so worked up about? But now I need a suit of armor and… oh!”

Garble snapped his claws, which startled Starlight Glimmer until Spike put a hand on her shoulder and quietly reminded her that dragons could do it too, not just Discord.

“I know where I can get some dragon armor!” said Garble, grinning sharply. “Princess Sparkle-Bright’s gem castle has a whole room full of the stuff!”

Spike blinked. “But, that armor is…”

Ember arched a brow, then pointed the Bloodstone Scepter. “If it was made by dragons, then it should belong to dragons. Show me!”

Ten minutes later, Garble was tightening the straps on a chestplate and looking pretty pleased with himself… not noticing that Ember was licking her lips watching him.

Starlight, meanwhile, had quietly drawn Spike off to one side. “Spike, aren’t those the suits of dragon armor that Twilight recovered from the Castle of the Two Sisters? She’s been restoring them for the Canterlot Museum! She won’t be happy if Garble and Ember get into some dragon courtship game and bash them to bits.”

Spike nodded, frowning. “Actually, I’m more worried about them finding out that this armor is from Princess Luna’s old trophy room.”

Starlight gaped at Garble, then back at Spike. “You mean, every one of these suits of armor…”

“Came from a dragon that Princess Luna personally defeated in war or single combat,” said Spike. “Dragons aren’t big on wearing a *loser’s* armor. Not unless they’re staking their own reputation to avenge them.”

“I like it!” boomed Garble. “I just need to fix the wing guards.”

“Big Macintosh does some blacksmithing for his farm,” offered Starlight, glad for the distraction. “We could ask…”

Garble wasn’t even paying attention to her. He breathed fire on one of the offending metal plates until it glowed cherry red, and started molding it with his bare claws.

Starlight backed away, sweating profusely. “Right! No need to tell Garble or Ember about the armor!” She laughed nervously. “I mean, we wouldn’t want to spoil their date, would we?”

Session 102.8 Mtangalion

Sunburst had never officially been appointed Royal Vizier. Really, he was just the official Crystaller, but someone had to keep the nobles from spending the Empire into the poorhouse while Cadence was away. He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Ah! Thank you so much for coming on short notice…”

Wolf claws click-clacked on the throne room’s shiny crystal floor. “Yes, yes, what is emergency?” grumbled Iosef. The large, muscular diamond wolf yawned profusely, remembering a bit late to cover his fangs with a paw. “Very busy, much important work to do for pack!” He nodded to himself.

An ear splitting wail from down the hall made both of them jump. “Want mama!” cried Flurry Heart. “Want papa! WAAAHHHH!”

Sunburst grinned too broadly, twitching. “I really, really hate to impose, but you did such a good job of calming her down last time…”

Iosef’s ears drooped flat and his thick fur spiked. “Not pink terror again! Do not want!” He started to slink away…

The crying suddenly stopped. “Puppy? PUPPY!” A brilliant golden glow vaporized an entire wall, and Flurry Heart flew through, little hooves outstretched. “Hehe, puppy!”

Iosef somehow leapt three feet off the floor, paws windmilling, and took off, zooming around a corner.

“Play hide and seek!?” Flurry zipped around the corner, but found only a bored Crystal pony guard, holding a spear at attention. “Huh!? Where’d puppy go?” She furrowed her brow adorably, grunting like she was trying to fill her diapers, and sparks shot from her horn, forming a blinking arrow pointed straight at the guard. “PUPPY!”

Iosef yipe yipe yiped, leaping straight out of his guard costume and sprinting down another hall. No good… Flurry teleported right in front of Iosef and started hugging the stuffing out of him “Ack! No, bad!” he barked sternly. “Iosef’s WOLF, not puppy! Ponies watch pony cub, wolves are for watching wolf cubs!”

Flurry looked like she might burst into another crystal-shattering tantrum. “But… wanna play with puppy! Want! Want! Want!!” Her little horn flashed… and suddenly Iosef had a much bigger pink terror to deal with... an impossibly pink wolf cub with a floofy purple tail and swirls of blue around her ankles.

“Well, that’s new,” mused Sunburst, wincing as Iosef got bowled over by a tackle-pounce and slurped on. He looked out a window, shaking his head. “Princess Cadence, where are you?”

Session 102.9 Ardashir

"Okay, that's the last of them." Twilight cast a last Trueform spell. With a squawk that turned into a growl halfway through Smolder was restored to her draconic form. Nearby stood Silverstream and Ocellus, looking relieved to be back in their true forms, and Gallus, who looked disappointed. "Now, no more accidental spellcasting. Hopefully."

"What coulda caused you ta start casting screwy spells like that, anyhow?" Gallus grumbled, his wings still spread. He'd been in the middle of a griffon courtship dance when Twilight began restoring the other students. Stalking to a nearby window, his claws clicking on the stone floor, he looked out and said, "The last time this happened was when Cozy Glow was messing with all the magic."

"She better not be doing that again! Not that she could, heh!" Twilight hurriedly said as the students looked at her, confused. "Because she's still locked up! Her and Tirek, right where they ought to be." She began backing towards the door. "In fact, I'll go back to my office and start reviewing those contingency plans for her escape that I don't need!" Twilight raced out of the room so fast that the door slammed shut behind her from the rush. It opened long enough for her to stick her head back in. "Uh, why don't you all break out one of the old games and relax with that? I'm sure that being transformed must have been very exhausting." She ducked back out before they could ask anything.

"O-kay..." Gallus shook his head. Ponies. He turned to the de-griffoned Smolder. She was examining her wings, making sure they were covered in leathery skin and not feathers. "Hey, I heard you saying that Garble and Princess Ember are finally on that date. What do dragons do when they date, anyway?"

"Well, not mushy pony stuff," Smolder began examining the boxed games on a high shelf. "Maybe they'll try fire-breathing contests, or rock-lifting." She picked up a box labeled 'Diplomacy'. "Hey anyone wanna try..."

"NO! No no no!" Ocellus flew over, her wings buzzing, to take the game and put it up on a high shelf out of reach. She dropped to the floor and shuddered. "Queen Chrysalis used to have us play that one all the time back in the hive. She loved how it got us fighting with each other, said it was a great way to teach us how to be tricky." She looked ashamed. Smolder set one claw over her friend's withers and gave her a quick hug.

"Ooh, but Smolder, what else do dragons do on dates?" Silverstream called. She flapped up to stand on top of a large, pony-size world globe in the room. It covered much more of the planet than the older ones had. Less than half was now labeled 'unknown territory'. "Come on, tell us. I want to know!"

"Heh, well, fishing for one thing." Silverstream's looked shocked. Smolder grinned. "Lotsa dragon couples bond over the competition and shared risk."

"Wait, 'shared risk' of fishing?" Gallus took down the old box set of Crystals & Rainbows and flew over to a table with it. He began setting the rulebooks out. "You're kidding, right?"

Smolder just smiled.

"YES!" Ember flew up from the water of the biggest lake near Ponyville. Beneath her a thicket of barbed tentacles lashed in fury, cephalopod ink turning the water black. More ink dripped from her armor. "I have to hand it to you, Garble, you really do know some great fishing spots!"

Below, Garble rose to the surface, gasping for air and pounding one fist into the eye of the huge freshwater kraken that was wrapping its tentacles around him. It narrowed a swollen eye on him and spat more ink on the young armored dragon. AT the center of those tentacles, set deep in crimson flesh, a huge beak snapped hungrily.

"See, I told ya!" Garble roared to Ember. He swallowed a mouthful of water and ink, spat it out. Above him Ember wheeled in delight before she dove back on the kraken, breathing fire. "Wow, Dad was right," he knocked one grabbing tentacle away. "Dragonesses really DO love to go fishing!"

Session 102.10 Alex Warlorn

Chrysalis congratulated her new brood, GMing over a game of Crystals and Rainbows. "Well done my precious babies. You have destroyed the town without using violence and without revealing yourselves. Mommy is proud of you."

The now fully grown changelings grinned at their mother's praise.

Session 102.11 Mtangalion

Grogar scowled deeply, looking over the ritual circle. The very stones of the cavern sang discordantly, resonating with the flow of power moderated by six darkly-glowing gemstones. “Cozy Glow!” he growled, stamping a hoof. “I did not retrieve those artifacts so that you could replicate your previous pathetic failure.”

The little pegasus flew over and bowed in midair, a bit mockingly. “Oh, don’t worry, Mr. Grogar! I have a much better plan this time. After all, I had my bestest-best penpal right here to bounce ideas off of!”

Lord Tirek chuckled darkly. “Indeed, we’ve already accomplished much, thanks to certain skills which I alone possess on our… team… thanks to the time when I held all of the magic of Discord.”

Stepping forward, the centaur inhaled deeply, bending the stream of primal magic and consuming enough to grow nearly as tall as the cavern ceiling. Then he breathed it right back out into the magical flow, seething with clashing colors and patches of plaid. “It’s a shame that I cannot drink the cosmos dry of magic right here, from the tap as it were… Alas, it would be too much, even for me.”

Chrysalis cackled, rubbing her holed forehooves together. “And as the magic that those ponies depend on becomes increasingly chaotic, my *loyal* children will be strategically positioned to take full advantage.”

Grogar stroked his goatee. “Intriguing…”

In the woods near Sweet Apple Acres, there was a chorus of young screams from inside the Cutie Mark Crusader Clubhouse, and then the Crusaders themselves came flying and galloping out, just ahead of a wave of bloodthirsty reptilian soldiers. With the Crusaders also wearing fantasy armor and robes, the whole thing could have been mistaken for a particularly intense LARPing session… until the clubhouse bulged and exploded, burst apart from within by a tremendous black dragon.

“Button Mash, what the hay are ya doing?!” shouted Apple Bloom. “You were supposed to bring our game figures to life, not summon the Undead Dragon King Alefor to Equestria for real!”

Equestria’s newest Alicorn Prince spun in midair to block a blast of lava breath with a quick shield, looking mortified. “I don’t know what went wrong, girls! The magic just… went out of control!”

“Let me help!” Pyro the dragon swooped in and drove the whole front rank of scaly soldiers back with a headbutt charge. The purple dragon smiled grimly. “I’ve fought Alefor before.”

More help arrived… Garble landed, grinning toothily. “Oh, hey! More entertainment for our date.”

Dragon Lord Ember landed by his side, Bloodstone Scepter at the ready. “Garble! Did you arrange this?”

Garble’s ears reddened a bit more. “I, uh… well… no. But why let a good brawl go to waste?”

Ember grinned savagely. “Good answer.” She raised a brow ridge at Pyro, though. “Why do you not bow to your Lord? A rebel?!” She shook her head. “We’ll talk about this later. Right now, it’s time to fight!”

Session 102.12 Alex Warlorn

With Spike back behind the OO screen, he informed the mane six.

"Reports around the kingdom, no, around the entire land have spoke of little girls, none older than thirteen, have been kidnapped by a being of light!"

"OH NO!" Fluttershy gasped.

"Let me at'em!" Rainbow Dash swore.

AJ and Rarity nodded their heads in agreement.

Pinkie Pie shuddered.

Twilight looked determined.

"The King, the Emperor, the Council Speaker, and Blood Chief, have stopped blaming each other long enough to offer a fortune for any who can solve this case."

"Keep the reward!" AJ said the Paladin. "Ah'm doin' this one on the house!"

"She doesn't speak for all of us!" RD the Rogue swore.

"As you discuss what to do next, a kindly old unicorn mare, introducing herself as 'Granny Niceness'. She is magenta fur colored with a purple mane. She says she knows whee the children are.

"They were kidnapped by a Solar! An Angel! The mad creature seeks to protect them from all corruption! Please! Help return these poor dears to their true families!"

"YOU GOT IT!" AJ swore.

"My own grandchildren were kidnapped, I was a once dearie a powerful wizardess, but those days are behind me. But I can still provide a portal to where the Solar is holding them!"

"Well girls, we wanted a big adventure after we sent Garblous The Ancient Red Dragon to his grave, looks like it's time." Twilight said.

-

On the other side of the portal... the heroes found a land of pretty birds, happy bunnies, flowers, blue sky, happy sun and moon... and lots of little girls well fed, well dressed, and well taken care of.

"Hello ... I'm Jenny! Who are you?" One of the little girl asked.

"Granny Niceness sent us to rescue you!" RD shouted.

"... I've never heard of her." The filly responded.

"It's okay, she's related to one of the other girls here."

A glowing golden pony with wings made of light descended. "Welcome heroes... are you here to offer your protection to these innocent souls from evil?"

"YEAH! YOU!" AJ said.

"I am protecting them!"

"You're keeping them caged, and confinement is injury no matter how it's justified!" Fluttershy's druid shouted.

"Let's get'em!" Pinkie Pie the bard wielded her banjo like a club.

"Don't hurt our angel!" Several of the fillies raced up and formed a wall between the heroes and the solar.

Twilight said, "My sorceress uses Sleep on the foals, then I cast wall of force on them! And it's on!"

-SEVERAL GRUELING ROUND OF COMBAT LATER-

The Solar lay in a heap, bleeding glowing white blood. "You... you do not know... what you do... you aid evil itself in its plans... these children are doomed if you take them from here. In this place they will never age... freed from the monsters they will be forced to become against their will!"

"Yeah yeah we get it, adults are bad, children are good, but that's part of life!" Rainbow Dash snorted.

"Granny Niceness will be so happy to have her foals back," Fluttershy smiled.

"GRANNY NICENESS?! You fools! She will-" The Solar cries out as he is stabbed through the heart from behind, and vanishes into sparks of light. Granny Niceness stands behind him, her staff in hand, glowing white blood on it.

"GOOD RIDDANCE TO BAD RUBBISH!" Granny Niceness said.

"Wha? Granny how are you here?!" Fluttershy gasped.

"I followed you. I was worried you wouldn't have the stomach to finish Pipsqeakius off... But now he's gotten rid of. We can take the fillies back. Good job. Here's enough gold for you lot to buy your own castle and the land around it, and the staff to sustain it for the rest of your mortal lives."

"Oh wait!" Fluttershy said. "I know one of the girls' parents from the town I'm from, I can taken her back for you."

"That won't be necessary, I wouldn't want to burden you."

"Oh it's no burden at all."

The sleep spell begins to wear off... and of the fillies screams in terror at the sight of Granny Niceness. "AHHHH! The nightmare lady! No! I'm dreaming I'm dreaming! Pan said she can't hurt me here!"

"The solar is dead Draggle." Granny Niceness said coldly.

"That's not my name-! It's-!"

"It's your real name. Nice the day I birthed you."

"WHAT!? You said you were her grandmother!" Rarity gasped.

"... I forgot you damn idiots were still here. Oh well. Guess I'll just have to kill you too."

The old woman's form morphs... into an ugly old pony that is mostly skin and bones, with hooves like razors, and goat horns growing from her head. She lets out a wicked laugh. Her cutie mark was a moon with the face of a skull with a worm inside it.

"A HAG?!" Twilight gasped.

"Ah'm a paladin! Ah shoulda detected if she was evil!"

"You do realize your detect evil only activates if you purposely use it right?" Spike asked.

"Oh. Right."

"WHAT IS GOING ON!?" Rainbow Dash shouted.

Twilight said lowly, "Spike kept feeding us clues, but none of us picked up on it... Hags resemble normal girls until they hit puberty... at which point their personalities and forms twist into their adult forms. They usually give them to good aligned families to raise without their knowledge... If this plane kept them from aging... then it would protect them from becoming Hags."

"AGH! We were working for the bad mare!? How could we fall for such a stupid cliche!?" Rainbow Dash swore.

Spike said, "Cliches are cliches because they work."

The Hag said, "It's a shame that we need you stupid mortals to sustain our numbers. Without a steady stream of our spawn,"

"That you left in the hands of others to raise like cuckoos in the nest."

"Oh we EAT the child, then give birth to one identical before returning it. So TECHNICALLY it's their child, but also mine."

"THAT MAKES IT WORSE!" Rarity screamed.

"The point is that without our spawn, we Hags would go extinct. Who would exploit emotionally vulnerable teenage girls after a fight with their parents? Who would murder a pony's beloved just before their wedding? Who would control the slave market of the nether world? Who would bring random pointless misery to the world? Can't you see fighting against me is wrong?!"

Pinkie asked, "We just finished fighting the strongest angel there is... can we taken on a Hag now?"

AJ snorted. "Like it matters! CHARGE!"

(to be continued by ..... ?)

Session 102.13 Ardashir

"Hah!" The Undead Dragon King Alefor roared as he breathed another blast of lava at the CMC, Button, and their three dragon allies. As Button hastily blocked that one too, he laughed. "Even if I don't recognize the realm, it will still be mine!" He thrust a claw at Ponyville. "Attack, my loyal minions!"

"I don't think so, Alefor!" Pyro flew at Alefor's face. The huge dragon lurched back with a roar as Pyro rammed into him."I beat you before, I'll do it again!" A sudden lash of a giant claw sent him rolling head over heels to stop at the hooves of the CMC and Button. "Uh, maybe with a little help?"

"He had Cinder to help him in the original fight," Sweetie Belle wheeled on Button. "Button! Maybe you can bring her here to help Pyro?"

"I don't know," Button looked nervous. He pointed a hoof at Pyro. "I'm not sure how I brought him here." Another massive fire blast flew right above their heads. Button ducked barely in time. He whinnied to see the tip of his horn smoking and hastily put it out.

"Better figure it out fast, pal!" Pyro shook his head and got up, claws scratching at the dirt. "We're gonna need all the help we can get."

Behind him, Ember and Garble plowed through the regrouped reptilian warriors, sending them flying. Alefor looked at them in disgust.

"Who are you hatchlings to defy the King of all Dragons?"

"What!" Ember flew up in front of his face. She looked like a blue speck there. "You're speaking to the Dragon Lord." She raised the Bloodstone Scepter, and it began to glow fiery crimson like a star descended from the heavens. "And I demand your obedience!"

Alefor stared at her in utter silence for a long moment. Then he laughed in scorn and with another blast of fire, sent Ember hurtling to the ground.

"Is every dragon in this world insane?" He stomped at her. Garble barely snatched her in time and pulled her back. "That toy means nothing to me!" He drew himself up with a hiss. His wings spread, blocking out the sun itself. "Now, all of you creatures, submit to me and perhaps I'll spare you to become my slaves!" The CMC and dragons could hear Ponyville starting to panic. The sounds of galloping hooves and frantic ponies filled the air.

"Not another monster attack!" Mrs. Cake ran past, her foals bouncing in their saddlebag-carrier. Pinkie Pie hopped along.

"Must be Wednesday!" She waved her hoof at Button, the CMC, and the rest as she hopped past. "Hey, good luck!"

"Call the Princesses! Call the Element Bearers!" Daisy and her two friends raced past. "The horror! The horror!"

"Neighsay warned us this would happen if we let dragons into Equestria!" Spoiled Rich bumped into an annoyed Pyro. "Uh, no offence!" She galloped for home.

Button looked from Sweetie and her friends to Alefor. The huge monster sneered at him, fangs glistening. For an instant the Alicorn colt looked ready to run.

Then he firmly set his hooves.

'"Okay, buddy, you asked for it." Button drew himself up and called to Garble. "Bring Miss Ember here, and Pyro," he pointed to a spot beside him. "You stand there!" When they did so Button's horn began to glow. A smell like sulphur mixed with the clear ozone smell of the air preceding a thunderstorm began to gather.

"What do ya need Ember for?" Garble growled. Ember just shook her head, eyes rolling.

"She's a dragoness like Cinder," Button responded. "That oughta make it easier to conjure her up."

Alefor sniffed and looked disgusted. "What is this?"

He looked almost uneasy as both Pyro and Button smirked at him. Button's Gamecolt began to float, surrounded by blue sparks of magic. The sparks began to gather together, forming into a lean draconic form. One that burst apart to reveal a violet dragoness with lighter purple scales on her belly and under her wings. She didn't look entirely like Pyro; she bore a slight, almost familial resemblance to Ember.

Pyro looked delighted. "Hey, Cinder!"

"Pyro?" The purple dragoness smiled to see him. Her smile slipped away as she looked at the CMC and Button. "Uh, okay, what are they and what's going on -- YOW!" She hurtled into the air, barely dodging a lava blast from Alefor. "Him again?!? What does it take to stop this guy?"

"Let's find out!" Pyro cheerily cried as the two dragons flew for Alefor.

"Hey, little guys!" Garble ponderously flew after them. Still shaking her head, Ember followed. "Like, wait for us!"

Button looked on with pride as Pyro, Cinder, Garble and Ember took the fight to Alefor. He lashed at them, roaring as they dodged his attacks and pressed their own home.

Scootaloo looked up alongside her friends. "Uh, did we help or make this even worse?"

Session 102.14 Ardashir

Granny Niceness cackled (well, Spike did) and vanished as the Mane Six charged her.

"Huh?" Dash looked around, keeping her daggers ready. "The hay? I thought spellcasters hurled fireballs into your face when ya charged them?"

"Not hags!" Twilight's character began casting a See Invisibility spell. "Their magic is like witchcraft. Charms, compulsions, invisibility and illusions..."

Niceness reappeared just as Dash yelled, "Ahhh! I can't see!" Niceness reached for her throat with razor-like hooves. She jumped back with a yell as Applejack charged her and attacked.

"Curses and debuffs." Twilight finished with a sigh. Even as she spoke Niceness pointed her horns at Applejack. A sickly grayish light struck AJ, and she stumbled as though suddenly weakened.

"Durned Ray o' Enfeeblement," she groaned, her sword dropping. A sudden vicious blow from the hag dropped her, wounded.

"Killing a Solar and a nosy meddler paladin?" Granny Niceness reared to trample Applejack. "This is my lucky day!" As she plunged her hooves down, cheery music began playing. She laughed and missed. "HEY!" She giggled. "I o-only laugh when something - snicker - awful happens -- HA!"

"Or when I make it happen!" Pinkie played magical music, strumming her banjo. As the hag fought against the laughter, she began playing a new tune, one that sent new strength through their limbs and fired them with courage. "Get her, girls!"

Rarity trotted away from the sight-restored Dash, who charged the hag. The hag tried to twist away from her daggers, but shrieked as one penetrated her moldering hide. She glared at Dash, her eye seeming to grow twice its size and bulge from the socket. Dash froze, shrieked like a little filly and ran.

"The hay, Spike!"

"We told you, Dash," Twilight noted primly where she sat. She pointed her hoof at Dash's character sheet. "You need to work on your Will save."

"Pity ya can't try that in real life." Applejack muttered, and ducked as Dash hurled her dice at her. They missed to bounce off the far wall. Dash went to get them, grumbling.

Fluttershy the Druid shivered and a moment later a dire bear stood where she had. The bear rose on its hind legs and roared. The air shimmered and three more bears only slightly smaller appeared beside it. With mighty roars the sleuth of angry brown bears and one cave bear charged the hag. Granny Niceness managed one pathetic shriek before she went down under several tons of angry bear. "...and the hag is being reduced to chunks."

"YES!" Fluttershy pumped one hoof in the air. "Take that, you evil witch!" She caught herself and smiled at her friends. "Uh, I mean, sorry I didn't leave anything for you girls."

"That's fine, dear," Rarity said as her character finished healing Applejack.

"I gotta tell y'all," The Earth pony groused as she helped to heal her friends and the still dismayed kids. "Ah'm beginnin' ta get those players that say druids are kinda OP." A rumble came from outside, followed by several loud bangs. "What is that?"

"That?" Dash returned to the table. "Oh, just the CMC and Button and Garble and Ember and two funny-looking dragons I've never seen before beating up some great big dragon and his army of monsters." She took her seat, unconcerned.

Her friends looked at her in disbelief. Finally Twilight spoke. "Uh, do they need any help?"

Even as she spoke there came one massive blast outside, followed by a despairing wail from a massive set of lungs. It was joined by three familiar voices cheering: "Cutie Mark Crusader Dragon Tyrant Destroyers, Yay!"

"Hey, we helped! Tell them, Pyro!"

"Aw, let them have their fun, Cinder."

"Defeating a monstrous magical tyrant?" Rarity sniffled and wiped a single tear from her cheek. "Oh, little sister, you're growing up so fast!"

Session 102.15 Mtangalion

At the forefront of the battle, even Garble and Ember took a few steps back. Not because they were afraid, or anything lame like that! They were… assessing the situation!

Apple Bloom had somehow summoned some of the homemade rocket fuel that she’d somehow brewed up for their Cutie Mark Crusader Space Explorers adventure. She held another moonshine bottle grenade in hoof, ready to throw.

Sweetie Belle’s horn glowed with a pure black aura, but she showed no signs of Dark Magic corruption at all, thanks to the training she’d quietly been getting from Alisa. She readied another Destruction spell, just in case.

And Scootaloo was in her dragon form, ready to add more fuel to the fire!

“You little dork!” said Garble, bonking Button Mash on the head. “Did you give them some kinda video game powers?” He folded his arms, sulking. “I want powers too…”

Button glared at him, rubbing his head with a hoof. “I might have leveled them up a little bit? Mostly that’s just them, though.” The colt chuckled. “I’m an Alicorn and they’re still a little scary...”

Cinder crouched, pawing at the ground. “Stay focused! We don’t know what he’ll do next. Pyro, get ready to grab any gems or powerups that appear!”

Pyro shuffled awkwardly. “Um, this world doesn’t really work like that…”

Scootaloo thumped to the ground beside them, mildly surprising them both. “Oh, yeah! We should start blasting *before* the smoke clears. I know how this goes!”

Ember snorted, and flew over to disperse the smoke herself with a strong downdraft from her wings. The revealed field of battle was littered with fallen minions, but no giant dragon. Instead, there seemed to be a hole punched into the air itself, its edges grinding like broken glass. “I like your enthusiasm, kid, but I think you blasted him hard enough already.”

Button Mash clapped his forehooves to his cheeks, letting out a strangled gasp. “Bad… uncontrolled planar rifts are really bad! I’ve gotta fix this before we have planets crashing into each other, or worse, a crisis crossover!”

The Alicorn colt lit his horn up in a blaze of amber light, visibly straining. At first, nothing seemed to happen, but then the rift shrank down into a smooth-edged oval. Boulders rose from the shattered ground, stacking together into a stone arch that framed the portal, and then most bizarrely of all, floating golden letters appeared, spelling out “THE DRAGON REALMS”. The whole apparatus looked exceedingly solid and stable… and unfortunately quite permanent, too.

Poor Button Mash looked ready to freak out… again, but Cinder beamed and nodded like this was a perfectly normal thing that happened when a tough enemy fell, and Pyro actually whooped for joy to see a way home at last, grabbing Cinder and spinning her about in a midair dance.

Author's Note

Session 102.0 Mtangalion and Alex Warlorn
Session 102.1 Alex Warlorn
Session 102.2 Mtangalion
Session 102.3 Mtangalion
Session 102.4 Alex Warlorn
Session 102.5 Ardashir
Session 102.6 Alex Warlorn
Session 102.7 Mtangalion
Session 102.8 Mtangalion
Session 102.9 Ardashir
Session 102.10 Alex Warlorn
Session 102.11 Mtangalion
Session 102.12 Alex Warlorn
Session 102.13 Ardashir
Session 102.14 Ardashir
Session 102.15 Mtangalion

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?
What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Art by by XeviousGreenII, used with permission.

MLP FIM copyright Hasbro.

Cover art by RizDub https://www.deviantart.com/rizdub/art/ATG-IX-Day-XXVIII-806991083

Session 103

Session 103.0 Mtangalion and Alex Warlorn

Pyro and Cinder were still celebrating when a great pop-flash heralded the sudden arrival of Princess Twilight, with Spike and the rest of her friends. “What… the… hay?” exclaimed Twilight, her mane already fraying. “Button Mash, what did you do?!”

Button’s mom couldn’t teleport, but that didn’t stop her from appearing right behind Twilight, eyes blazing and katana half drawn. “Language!” Then she flash-stepped to Button Mash, turning the same burning glare on her son. “Young colt, what did you do!?”

Rarity had fainted artfully onto her chaise longue when they arrived, and now she seemed annoyed that nopony was paying attention to her. “Really, darling… a little warning before you magically sling us halfway across town?” She paced over to the portal arch and peered at it, then tapped it with a hoof. “I could be mistaken… and I must say the golden letters are rather gaudy, but… it’s another portal? I must confess, I don’t see the harm.”

Princess Twilight sighed. “Yes, it’s another portal. We already have three other permanent portals in this geographic area... that we know of! The potential for interdimensional incidents increases geometrically, you know!”

Since she had to wait in line to chew out Button now, Twilight’s curiosity quickly got the better of her. Twilight picked up a stick in her magic and waved it around through the portal. When it seemed unharmed, she took a deep breath and stepped through the portal herself… into a peaceful forest meadow with a castle in the distance. The other side of the portal arch turned out to be a doorway set in a great crystal pillar resembling the Tree of Harmony, and… sure enough, large golden letters floated over the door, spelling out “Equestria.”

“Oh, look at that. This whole setup just screams…” She rose and waved her forehooves dramatically. “Everycreature, come have crazy adventures in our kingdom, which is crazy enough already!” She shook her head. “We’re going to need some Twilight Guard posts, rules and schedules for crossing between worlds…”

Pyro and Cinder flew through the portal, blasting Twilight’s mane back. “Woohoo!” shouted Pyro. “Wait till ALL our friends hear about this!” He looped back. “Bye, princess! See you again soon!”

Twilight gritted her teeth, one eye twitching. “Or, we can just let everything go to Discord, and it’ll all work out… somehow...”

Trotting back through the portal, Twilight was mildly surprised to see that Rainbow Dash had taken her dragon form… odd, was Rainbow *bigger* than the last time she’d seen her as a dragon? She was more surprised to realize that Garble and Ember’s date had brought them here as well, and a lot more surprised when *Applejack* turned into a bronze and gold dragon, hat in claws as she approached Ember!

“It’s a pleasure to meetcha again,” stammered Applejack, grinning. “Dragon Lord, ma’am…” She, Rainbow Dash, and Scootaloo all bowed before her.

“Of course, she goes right out and lets everypony in on the big secret,” said Big Macintosh, tisking as he arrived. “This is why we didn’t tell ya sooner.” He wasn’t alone either. Granny Smith and Grand Pear were strolling beside him… and all three of them promptly blurred and became dragons too, bowing to Ember. “Howdy and welcome to Ponyville, Dragon Lord. Goldie and the other kinfolk’ll be disappointed they missed this.”

“Huh!” mused Pinkie Pie. “So that’s why my Pinkie Sense said I should bake extra gem cakes!”

Fluttershy’s eyes just got wider and wider, mirroring how Twilight felt. “A-A-All of the Apples too? How did this happen, Twilight?”

Apple Bloom hadn’t transformed, but Twilight held back from correcting her. Even that was forgotten when a light gray and blue dragon flew past her, rushing over to join the bowing dragons. Twilight’s jaw fell open. “Shiny? What… No, that can’t be him. He should be in the Crystal Empire!”

Garble kept looking from the other dragons to Ember and back, not knowing what to make of any of this.

Oddly, Spike wasn’t bowing either. He just waved casually. “Heya, Ember! Um, what’s going on?”

Ember seemed to swell a few inches taller from the sheer boost to her ego, but the young Dragon Lord seemed flustered at the same time. “This many? What was Tiamat thinking? With this many dragons and Smolder here too, I should be declaring an official lair and putting a dragon boss in charge, but this isn’t just a dragon town…”

Garble smirked. “What, are you asking me? Do I look like an elder?”

Ember’s face lit up. “The dragon elders! Of course, they’ll know what to do! Meanwhile...” She held out the Bloodstone Scepter, and the ponies-turned-dragons watched it, seeming entranced. “All of you, keep doing what you’ve been doing and be proud dragons, but don’t do anything lame that would make me have to fly back here and knock some skulls together!”

After that, Ember tried to shoo the gathered dragons away so she and Garble could finish up their date, and that gave Princess Cadence a chance to get close and draw her husband aside. “Shiny, how did you turn into a dragon just now?”

“Huh?” Shining Armor looked over his dragon form, then shrugged. “Your spell… I just assumed you left a trigger so I could switch back and forth if I needed to.”

“No, I removed the spell,” said Cadence. “Or at least, I thought I did...” She frowned. “What kind of game is Tiamat playing?”

Within the hollowed-out volcano at the heart of the Dragon Isles, Dragon Queen Tiamat brooded over a colossal chess board, seeming to be in great thought as she pondered her next move.

Dragon King Bahamut grinned smugly up at his colossal mate. “What are you playing at, dear? We both know what you really want.”

Tiamat waggled a claw, and her closest heads stuck their forked tongues out at him. Then she swept all the dragon pieces right off the board, gathering them up and hugging them to herself. “MINE.”

-

'Be proud dragons' the command rattled through their bones, not ponies, dragons, be proud dragons, be proud of being dragons, not ponies. They played nice because the Dragon Lord had commanded, they were Dragon, so they obeyed. They would continue with their normal tasks with these little, weak, and fragile ponies because the Dragon Lord had willed it, even if they might have better ideas now. Powerful. Strong. Take what was theirs. They were proud dragons. Children of Tiamat.

'Mine!' Tiamat's telepathic word echoed through their minds, yes, they belonged to Queen Mother Tiamat. They were but jewels in her hoard. And would do as good jewels would.

Somewhere, far beyond mortal reach, Celestia and Luna's mother felt some of her children slip from her.

Apple Bloom felt grateful she WASN'T a dragon when Ember used the scepter. Her family was scaring her a bit.

Twilight eyed Scootaloo, the Apples, Shining, Rainbow... and saw the glint of draconic aloofness she'd gotten used to from seeing from most dragons sans like Spike and Mina.  

She didn't see ponies transformed into dragons. She saw a pack of dragons. Period. The way they moved like they owned the place, the way they eyed everything with that glint of greed, that fierce stance ready to rend limp from limp anything that challenged their might. The way they unconsciously  shifted position on who was the strongest in the flight. They stood tall and proud, without a hint of humility or shyness.  

"Wait a minute..." Twilight said slowly. "Did Ember... just use the BLOODSTONE SCEPTER... which bends the dragons to her will... and used its power to command my brother, my friends, and their family, to 'keep being proud dragons' 'not do anything lame' that would bring down Ember's wrath?"

Instead of bursting into flames like she used to, Twilight herself seemed to grow larger, her mane becomes a skyscape between day and night, her eyes crackling with power... and across Ponyville, it suddenly became twilight, in spite of it still being the middle of the afternoon in the rest of Equestria. And they heard the Royal Canterlot Voice give out a most unprincess-like cussing.

On her balcony, Princess Celestia (and groggy Luna) stepped out.

"Well, it's about time," Celestia said.

"Sister, she hasn't been an Alicorn for even a decade. Do you have any idea how much you are rushing her?"

"True, but look, she's now able to control the phases of the day WITHOUT that silly artifact we created using both our essences...  And she's finally mastered the Royal Canterlot Voice."

"We are proud of her for that... but we best learn what it was that caused her first... explosion... "

Celestia suddenly shuddered and nodded. Both goddesses remembering their own 'first time'.  

-

Twilight finished panting. Back to her normal size and colors.

Twilight's friends all instinctively took a step back from her for a second, except Fluttershy who flew in and gave her a cool down hug.

"Thanks Fluttershy."

"Welcome."

Maternity, for some reason, awkwardly asked. "So... so they're brainwashed. It's not so bad right? I mean, she did tell them not to do anything that would make her angry, so she basically told them to behave... why is that so bad?"

Princess Twilight Sparkle boomed. "Because! Then I'd have to admit that Starlight Glimmer was RIGHT to brainwash ponies into getting along with each other, and that is something I am NEVER allowing to happening!"

"Oh. Yes My Princess," Maternity cringed, remembering her conspiracy with Daring Do, Starlight, and Sweetie-Drops/Bon Bon to do exactly that to Equestria's villains, in particular Daring Do's nemesis.

"Hi." An Alicorn version of Starlight Glimmer appeared, giving several ponies (and dragon) minor-heart attacks and requiring CPR. She spoke to Cadence in a deadpan voice. "Hey Cadence. Became a goddess down the line. Was sentenced to help keep this worldline from going south as part of my penance.

"And yeah, Tiamat is most definitely trying to tilt the board in her favor. A big disaster is coming, ya know the drill by now, epic battles, everyone coming together, evil looming, light vs dark, blah-blah-blah. Don't worry, you kick their flanks and everything works out, as normal.

"But Tiamat is looking to use this to her advantage, after all, if a buncha former ponies brainwashed into 'proud dragons' helps save the day, it'll lure MORE ponies, and the rest, into become MORE brainwashed 'proud dragons', and the balance of power will shift from the Alicorns to the Ryujin. And in a century or two Tiamat will be ruling over most of the world without a single battle."

"Aren't you... breaking time by telling me this?" Cadence asked.

"Meh, none of this would be happening... IF A CERTAIN STUPID ALICORN COLT HADN'T BEEN MESSING WITH HIS POWERS LIKE THEY WERE A TOY!" Princess Starlight finally snapped.

Prince Button Mash defended. "HEY! HEY! It's not my fault! Magic went crazy!"

"Yes. Spoilers. Your great threat is behind it. Won't say who. Gotta keep some dramatic tension!"

"IT'S COZY GLOW AND TIREK ISN'T IT?!" Twilight said with mane hairs popping out of place.

"Partially right."

"Only one of them?!"

"Not just them."  

"... Fluttershy."

"Yes, Twilight?"

"Go to Chaosville... get Discord here, and MAKE HIM help us with this mess. Kiss, hugs him, say nice things, promise to go on a date, DRAG HIM BY HIS MISMATCHED TOOTH! But make clear that him blowing us off this time is NOT an option!"

Fluttershy shrank some. "Y-yes Twilight! Right away!" She then said a low voice. "Uh, Discord, can I come in for a moment?" And a portal immediately opened to the realm of Chaos and Fluttershy stepped in.

A time-warp portal popped a letter to Princess Starlight, which she blandly read. "Oh. Twilight. Odyne, demi-draconequus of tribalism, says thanks for cementing her existence and getting 'mom and dad' together."

Twilight groaned.

"And Spike..."

"Yes Twilight?"

"Get to Dragon Town, get Mina. DO NOT propose to her! But just tell her my friends got turned into dragons and are now brainwashed to be aligned to the Dragon Lord and Tiamat. Ask her for help with whatever means she has to get them back on hooves and their brains fee. And no, this ISN'T because 'ponies are better!' "

"GOT IT!" Spike nodded.

*one trip to Dragon Town, Fillydelphia's later.*

"Mina!" Spike came into the comic shop.

"Hey Spike!" Said a brown pegasus with a pink mane and blue eyes, her cutie mark was a open comic book with a flame in the panel.

"MINA?! Is that you!?"

"Yeah, don't laugh. I got a vision from... well, seriously don't laugh, a vision from Father-King Bahamut, telling me to use an artifact we got back when we first separated from Tiamat's tyranny. And told me I should experience what it's like being a pony for a while to help understand their point of view."

"... How's that working out for you?"

"For some reason I really feel like hugging people and breaking out into song, and thinking how we should all be friends... is that normal?"

"For most ponies, yeah. Sadly there are ponies who IGNORE that part of themselves that say those things."

"So like ignoring Tiamat's telepathic tripe but it being GOOD advice instead?"

"Pretty much, yeah. Soooo, you flown with those pegasus wings yet?"

"Once or twice... I've never felt so one with the wind!"

"Yeah, that's normal too. Come on, I'll explain on the way! Oh! And grab whatever magical dodad you've been secretly holding to help you push back against Tiamat's power."

"How the horse-apples did you know that?!" Mina asked, not noticing the equine cuss she used.

"Twilight told me. I think she got told by a friend of hers from the future. Maybe. Or maybe she just guessed. My head was spinning for a while."

"Okay fine."

*one trip to the vault hidden underneath the comic shop later*

The gem was similar to the Bloodstone... except it was blue. It was a staff, not a scepter, meant to guide, rather than rule.

Mina the Pony said, "Ya know... being a pony, the part I wasn't expecting was the lack of fearful stares from ponies I'd gotten so used to them... and how dragons were pushing past me like I was just in their way."

"Maybe they're just used to ponies getting out of the way?" Spike said.

Mina shuddered.

"So... that thing can turn dragons into ponies?"

"Yeah... but Bahamut said we were to use it for understanding... not shame. And after how Fillydelphia's ponies began treating us... yeah, none of us felt like 'understanding'... "

"Gotcha."

Session 103.1 Ardashir

The Student Six broke off their online gaming in World of Horsecraft with some of the students they'd met months ago to watch the wild events outside, with a small army of dragons, an alicorn version of their teacher Starlight, and Headmistress Twilight looking like she was going insane.

"Again," Gallus commented as he turned and strolled back to his computer, claws and talons clacking on the floor.

"Gallus! That's not very nice!" Ocellus looked out the window one last time, winced at one more shriek from Twilight, and returned to her own computer. "Even if it's kind of true. I wonder if any of the divine ancestors of our races are going to try doing what Tiamat is?"

"Yona hope not," the Yak girl snorted as she checked through her gear for the upcoming fight. They ought to be facing Tirek soon in-game; she was glad she'd never face him for real. Working slowly so as not to smash one more computer, she with the ease of total conviction, "Yaks best, but not everyone need to be Yak. World not survive so much perfection."

Gallus rolled his eyes but carefully said nothing. But he couldn't help thinking why Boreas didn't offer to turn creatures into griffons.

Even as the thought passed through his mind Gallus seemed to find himself in a palace made of pure gold with windows and aeries everywhere, all crowded with squabbling griffons filling the air with their complaints, threats, and shrieks. Seated on a massive nest in the middle of it all was a golden griffon of pure magnificence.

"Why don't I do that, hatchling?" Gallus gulped as the gigantic griffon leaned over him, scowling so fiercely lightning played in his eyes. "Because I already have enough ungrateful griffons giving me grief!"

"Okay," Gallus shook himself, fur and feathers shivering, as he saw the school's gaming and computer room around him again. "Uh, thanks, I guess Boreas. But I really don't need ta see ya in person like that, ever again!"

Nearby Smolder scratched her chin. "Huh, when Ember commanded all the dragons in Ponyville to 'do what we'd been doing and be proud dragons', did that affect everydragon in town?"

Her answer was several floors below where Sludge and his assistants cleaned the floors and walls of the school with renewed energy, panting.

"Gettin' bossed around like this is why I ran from the Dragonlands in the first place!" Sludge moaned as he washed walls like his life depended on it. "Rotten Bloodstone Scepter! I hope Ember and Tiamat's fires both go out!"

Session 103.2 Alex Warlorn

Grubber asked, "Think anyone in Ponyland has noticed we're missing yet?"

Tempest Shadow sighed. "They had better have a dang good explanation... I'm only not jumping to conclusions because I did that before with my other friends and betrayed my county and my entire species and the trust of countless creatures the last time."

"Yeah... gotta learn from yer mistakes eh? I spy with my little eye-"

"An air-ship dungeon."

"Dang you've gotten good at this!"

"OGA-BOOGA!" Said the Yeti guard sitting besides their cell.

"NO!" Tempest broke out into a cold sweat. "Don't read the Storm King's autobiography again!"

"Yer brain kinda goes numb to it after the first dozen times," Grubber tried to console her.

"Boga-boga-oga?"

"... Fine we'll play Storm King Conquer the world!" Tempest said. "But let us roll our own dice this time!"

Grubber whispered, "Think ya can sling the dice to knock'em out and bounce the keys towards us?"

"I will if you don't spoil it!" Tempest hissed back lowly to the oblivious Storm Guard.

Session 103.3 Alex Warlorn

"Girls," Maternity asked, figuring what the end result of this would be, but had to say it anyway. "Anyone else feeling doubt about our 'dirty but necessary' conspiracy to brainwash villains like Sludge, Garble's cronies, and Ahuizotl, after Dragon Lord Ember accidentally brainwashed some of our Ponyville neighbors and heroes into Tiamat adherents?"

That was when Future Starlight popped in a teleport flash.

"Don't worry, your scheme is only going to backfire a 'little bit' when the evil storm hits. Most of the villains you brainwashed will decide they like being good better."

"Most?" Bon Bon/Sweetie-Drops asked.

"That would be TOO BIG a spoiler, but you're all smart girls, I'm sure you can all guess."

Present Starlight groaned.

+++

"You're charging THAT MUCH for apples today?!" June Bug gasped.

The orange dragon (still wearing AJ's hat, it was hers after all) with blond frills said, "Ah know ya need'em bad for that apple pie yer already bakin', Ah can smell it. Ya can ether pay the ticket to another town to pay less for 'em there, ya can let that apple pie go to waste, or ya can pay the price we've put up for own produce."

There were no price control laws in Equestria, there had never been any NEED for them with the community mind-set that was wired deeply into pony brains. A brain that AJ no longer had.

June Bug surrendered and handed over the bits, AJ gave her the basket of apples. "Pleasure doin' business with ya!"

+++

Twilight was not pleased with whatever was keeping Ember busy, so Twilight could explain to Ember she'd made a oversized (but utterly reasonable Twilight was forced to admit) mistake. She wondered how long a visit with the Dragon Elders lasted.

Meanwhile Fluttershy was wherever negotiating with Discord.

And Spike's trip to Dragon Town left her without one of the REASONABLE dragons she knew, hopefully he would be back with Mina and whatever artifact Dragon Town had been hiding under the table this whole time.

Which meant Princess Twilight and the rest of Ponyville made to endure some of her friends and their families (AND HER BROTHER!!!), remade in Tiamat's image, outside AND on the inside!

With Spike gone, Twilight had had to step-in as Oubliette Overseer.

While Ember's command had included 'keep doing what you're doing', her friends' new true nature was obvious.

"AH KICK'IN THE DOOR AND CHOP THE HEAD OFF ANYTHIN' THAT MOVES!" AJ's new draconic barbarian roared.

"While the fighting is going on, I pick up any expensive looking loot I spot and hide it on my person!" Said Rainbow Dash's thief.

Rarity and Pinkie Pie looked at each other.

"I guess darling I'll just hang back and heal you as needed as the enemy swarm you."

"And I guess my bard will just hang back and play music to boost everybody."

"MAKE IT HARD ROCK! None of that lame pretty stuff!" RD snorted, and AJ nodded.

Pinkie Pie shrank some. "Okay."

Twilight said, "Many of the orcs and goblins flee in terror at the sight of you, some dropping their equipment as they flee so they can run away faster."

"MINE!" Rainbow Dash hissed.

"Cowards! Come back here and die like a dragon!" AJ slammed her fist on the table, making it shake.

+++

As Button Mash had used his power to let them play close up another video game... a loot driven hack-and-slash by Scootaloo's demand.

Deep inside the monsters' coded programming, some spark of them wished they'd been programmed to drop their loot and simply run away. Instead they swarmed the adventurers into her randomly generated infinite crypt, being cut down like wheat before a war axe weilded by a orange dragonling with fully functional purple wings.

"Come on Apple Bloom, change into the real you!" Scootaloo snarled.

"Ah'm... fine the way Ah am," Apple Bloom said awkwardly, finishing off the stragglers with her mace. It wasn't the first time Scootaloo had been urging Apple Bloom to 'show her true colors.'

Apple Bloom hadn't used her dragon form since Ember's command... she felt, worried about using it. Discord's foolishly reality retconning the Apples into were-dragons had far more dire implications than he'd ever intended. Could were-dragons infect others? Apple Bloom felt confused that she'd been never taught if that was the case or not.

Playing the role of healer for once instead of fighting with Apple Bloom over taking point, Diamond Tiara recognized the look in Scootaloo's eyes... She'd seen it reflected in the eyes of foals she'd once bullied. Silver Spoon resisted the urge to get behind Scootaloo from her little lifetime of deference.

'Something's wrong when I know dark magic but I'm not the scary one in the room,' Sweetie Belle thought dressed up as a necromancer in the pocket bubble created for the game. (With strict instructions and lessons from Twilight on how NOT to let his creations rampage through Ponyville... or Button Mash would be sent to Alicorn Prince boarding school on the moon for the next thousand years... Button Mash had made sure these creations could NOT leave the pocket bubble and the bubble could NOT expand... his mother had sworn to take away his Joyboy if he failed, and Button Mash was even more motivated.)

Session 103.4 Mtangalion

When word got out that the Apple clan, the very bedrock of Ponyville, had secretly been a clan of *dragons* all these years, most ponies started giving Sweet Apple Acres a wide berth. Not all, though…

Big Macintosh was out harvesting the south field all by himself, just like usual… only now he did it as a dragon in broad daylight, and didn’t care who saw! He could lift twice as many baskets, and *fly* heavy loads of apples back and forth. He worked harder than ever before and didn’t injure himself. He didn’t tire… he didn’t even sweat!

“Heh, what a fool Ah was,” he rumbled to himself. “Trying to hide this… trying to be humble about it! Ah bet even the Dragon Lord ain’t near as strong as Ah am!”

Yes, life was good… until his ear fins twitched, picking up the sound of pony hoofsteps. Too heavy to be Apple Bloom’s… that meant a stranger on *their* land.

“Big Mac?” asked a mare’s voice, hesitantly.

“Miss Cheerilee,” replied Big Mac, but he was completely focused on punching one of his trees just so, jarring a full load of apples into waiting buckets. Only then did he turn around to face her, brow ridge lifted and one clawed foot tapping. “Ya need somethin’?”

Cheerilee mustered up a warm smile. “So, it’s true. You’re a dragon now.”

Big Mac snorted, then took to the air, ferrying apple baskets to his wagon. “Eeyup. And yer a pony.”

Cheerilee’s smile faltered for a moment. “Even if you’re a dragon, I thought…”

“What’s this ‘even if’?” retorted Big Mac. “Something *wrong* with me being a dragon?”

She flinched. “No, of course not, Mac! It’s just… You’re still…” She blushed. “I mean, I can’t help but feel…”

Suddenly, Big Mac was right there before her, resting a clawed hand gently on her shoulder. “Lemme stop ya right there, Miss Cheerilee. You and all those mares that used to chase after me... If ya think I’m about to turn back into a pony and take ya on some kinda date? You can just buzz right off.”

While she gaped at him, shocked, Big Mac continued, “Unless, of course, ya can make nice with Mother-Queen Tiamat and convince her to make you a dragon. A *strong* dragon, mind you, not some flimsy thing that’ll *break* if Ah try to love ‘em.” He grinned toothily, gazing off into space. “Ah wonder if Miss Rainbow Dash is looking. Now *she* looks strong… and she’s a nice piece of flank, too… Of course, she’s lookin’ after that whelp now, so...”

The red dragon heard rapidly retreating hoofsteps, and saw that Miss Cheerilee was galloping away. Probably crying, too. Mac shrugged it off. Running away and crying was what weakling ponies did after all…

Session 103.5 Mtangalion

Flim glanced back to make sure he wasn’t being followed, then slipped into the cheap Ponyville hotel room that was their new strategic planning facility. It wasn’t a hideout… only criminals used hideouts, not fine upstanding businessponies like themselves!

“Did you know,” he asked Flam breathlessly, “that Ponyville possesses a shop which can turn out an entire room full of fanfilly swag in mere minutes? Banners, pennants, dolls, hats, costumes, you name it!”

The brothers considered this, then flashed matching grins. “Only in Ponyville!”

A short while later, the Ponyville farmers market got a little busier when a moving bush crept over to the temporary buildings. There was a brief but intense flurry of hammering and sawing, and somepony tossed up another stall, one that definitely wasn’t on the official list for renting the space, much less paid for.

Then Flim and Flam themselves rose from behind the counter, grinning up a storm… and wearing matching dragon costumes that wouldn’t have looked out of place in a foal’s school play. Nocreature would have confused them with real dragons… but the costumes also served to disguise the faces of Ponyville’s most infamous scam artists.

Even Applejack failed to catch on. The bronze and gold dragoness cringed, then hurried back to her own market stall, wanting nothing to do with a couple of embarrassing dragon fancolts.

Flim beamed, setting out more of the merchandise. “So far, so good, brother!”

Flam frowned, squirming in the itchy dragon costume. “Yes, yes, but do you think that hot tip will pan out? Will ponies really be lining up to purchase more dragon potions, here of all places?”

A purple mare slammed a saddlebag full of bits onto their counter, startling them. “Give me your strongest potion!”

Flim scooped up the bits and handled it over, pleased as punch… until Miss Cheerilee gulped the potion down right there and then. The brothers cowered and clung to each other as Cheerilee’s groaning and snarling form rose up and up, looming over them…

Back at Sweet Apple Acres, Big Macintosh heard another intruder and scowled, considerably more annoyed than before. “Look, Ah told ya…”

Then his eyes grew wide as saucers, seeing the mighty purple dragoness with rounded pink fins bearing down on him. “Th… that’ll do, Miss Cheerilee.” He grinned broadly. “That’ll do.”

Cheerilee matched that grin, then roared “MINE!” and tackled him into the bushes. Only their scaly tails were left visible, twitching every which way, then curling around each other.

“IT’S ABOUT TIME!” shouted Princess Cadence, loud enough to shatter some of Twilight’s crystal windows.

“Whoa, I’m not deaf!” exclaimed Shining Armor. “Another thing this dragon body is good for!”

Princess Twilight rubbed one of her ears, wincing. “Why do I feel like we’re already falling way behind in this battle?”

Session 103.6 Alex Warlorn

Tiamat's two dragons that had been the ponies Big Mac and Cheerilee were none too pleased when their newest round of burning out passion was interrupted.

The pair of draconic eyes zeroed in on one little gray earth pony. In the proper, prime heart-world, this mare had folded into herself seeing the stallion she loved express his feeling for another. This was not the heart world, and this mare had spent years in a herd. And she dared take a risk.

"Room for one more?"

The dragon that used to be Cheerilee said, "My big red dragon isn't interested in a mare who's going to snap in two when he next hugs her."

Marble Pie's expression didn't change. With one hoof, she picked up a boulder Big Mac had been meaning to get rid of, and tossed it out of the field far enough to make any dragon proud. Next she picked up a rock, and munched into it like it was an apple, and swallowed.

"I can take anything you can dish out Big Mac," The rock farmer said defiantly.

The two dragons' eyes widened at the feat... and politely made room for her.

Marble Pie thought of her family, but herd laws had never been taken off the books, and she and the others were legally a herd. And she'd drag all three of them to the pairing stone if she had to later...

-

Pinkie Pie felt her ears tingle and at the same time Cheese Sandwich felt a slight shivered.

-

When the foals strolled into the school room, they could only stare in shock at their teacher.

"Nice upgrade Miss Cheerilee!" Scootaloo grinned.

"Thank you dear," the purple dragoness said. She looked at Apple Bloom.  "Shouldn't you be in your true form dear?"

Apple Bloom said slightly uncomfortable, "Ah'm fine the way Ah am."

Sweetie Belle whispered, "We better figure out something soon, or we're all gonna end up assimilated!"

Button Mash, not really wanting this to be all his fault said, "You're exaggerating."

"Today class we'll be going over the draconic treasures stolen by Ponykind over the centuries, and then I'd like a list from each of you of things you'd like to do that you can't do as a pony but you could do as a dragon."

"Cool!" Scootaloo said.

While the CMC and friends had no idea what to do... arguing and contradicting the teacher was WRONG... Diamond Tiara's eyes narrowed.

'I've had the head of the school board, my mom, wanting to mold my destiny how she saw fit... Not happening here!' It was time to put her crown cutie mark to good use. Diamond Tiara had often fantasized her cutie mark symbolized her inevitably ascension to Alicorn-hood... Well, time for her first verbal brawl with a dragon.

"Miss Cheerilee," Diamond Tiara in her best 'schmoozing with your betters' voice her mother had taught her. "I would like to share some draconic history that I've learned."

Cheerilee looked surprised but nodded. "Oh please dear! Go ahead!"

"The Pie family legendary claimed one of Queen Tiamat's eggs that she laid before time itself began, left in one of her earlier nests, and have protected and nurture it since their farm's founding. And Queen Tiamat has done nothing to reclaim. And since draconic law says 'no backsies' that would make the Pie family, ponies, the proud foster parents to an unborn dragon god. For such diligent caring without repayment, I would say ponies have earned Queen Tiamat's respect would you not? Unless you believe the trinkets ponies have claimed through right of conquest were equal to that of one of the first generation spawn of the ryujin themselves."

"Those treasures were claimed through trickery!"

"So was the Bloodstone Scepter from one of the previous Dragon Lords, and yet they are admired and respected in draconic history."

"Er, yes, that is true."

"So shouldn't therefore pony tactics be deemed worthy of respect if they were good enough for a dragon lord?"

"Now I didn't say that wasn't the case..."

Apple Bloom whispered. "How did ya know all that?"

"I think I had an unusual royal tutor. I don't know if it was me from the future or Starlight Glimmer from the future."

Alicorn Diamond Tiara... that didn't give Apple Bloom nightmares like it used to.  

-

"I wonder what our whelp will look like after centuries of being saturated by pony love and harmony," Bahamut mused.

One of Tiamat's head grumbled angrily.

-

Snap Shutter and Mane Allgood (in her ancestral Pegaopolis armor) lay on the ground twitching and smoking.

"Yeah, I'd say I've won this custody battle," The draconic Rainbow Dash grinned.

-

"WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON?!" Starlight The First and Sunset Shimmer both exclaimed in the 'chat room' Princess Twilight had set up with the enchanted journals across universes.

"Dragon-mania has begun to spread in Ponyville! Literally!"

Session 103.6 Alex Warlorn

"Thanks for the save Diamond Tiara," Apple Bloom said the words she never thought she'd say.

"Even if Miss Cheerilee gave you extra homework 'since you clearly are not challenged by this assignment'," Sweetie Belle added.

"Thanks. And no problem... I'm actually kinda used to it believe it or not," Diamond Tiara said.

"At least we don't have to worry about being assimilated at school now right?" Sweetie suggested hopefully.

"Ah don't know about that," Apple Bloom pointed. Scootaloo was turning the charms on Rumble.

"And just think, dragons don't have cutie marks," Scootaloo listed. "Plus, I think you'd really look cute in scales."

"I-I would?!" Rumble blushed.

"Hooo-boy," Apple Bloom sighed.

Session 103.7 Ardashir (and a little extra by me)

"Honey," Shining Armor said, his voice a growl, "I've been thinking." He walked up to his wife, flexing his claws and long scaly tail lashing behind him. Twilight gulped and backed away. Something told her things were about to go badly.

Cadance gave him a brilliant smile. "About what, dear?"

"Remember when we dated, and sometimes we'd play-wrestle when we couldn't decide what we should do?" Cadance nodded, still looking innocent, even as Shiny reared up, wings spread wide and giving a roar.

"Shiny!" Twilight yelled. He plunged down on Cadance, pinning her against the floor. Gently, not hurting her, but inexorably pressing her down. Twilight started to charge her horn -- she didn't want to hurt her dragonified big brother, but she couldn't let him hurt Cadance!

She stopped as Cadance gave her a meaningful glance and slight wave of one hoof. Uneasy, Twilight settled back as Shiny growled deep in his chest. "Maybe I should have a better title in the Crystal Empire -- yum, crystals," he licked his muzzle with a long forked tongue, "than 'Prince-Consort'. 'King', for example. And a room to use for my hoard. Oh, and a hoard in the first place!" His eyes glowed with greed's inner fires. "The Crystal Heart would make a nice start for it!"

He frowned as Cadance interrupted with a small polite cough. "What?!?"

"There's just one problem with those plans, dear," Cadance said in her smoothest and silkiest voice. She kept smiling, even as Shiny leaned more of his draconic weight on her. He lowered his muzzle to her face, a trickle of smoke escaping his nostrils.

"I don't see any problem."

Cadance just smiled and seemed to explode into pink and purple light. Twilight blinked away the sparks that danced before her eyes. As she did, she heard her BBBFF give a terrified draconic shriek.

When her eyes cleared she saw why. A shivering scaly Shiny was pinned under a claw almost as big as he was. Long talons tore through the carpet and dug into the stone and crystal beneath as a huge pink and purple dragoness, elegant and graceful even though she was three times Shiny's current size, held him down effortlessly.

A massive muzzle lowered to the frightened dragon and Cadance hissed, "I forgive you, darling. I know it's the dragon-essence and Tiamat's power doing this. But don't you ever try threatening me again. I can turn into the form of any creature capable of love, and this form isn't even my biggest. Understood?"

Shiny nodded weakly and licked at her fanged muzzle in a dragon display of submission. Cadance accepted it and laid down, keeping him pinned.

"Uh, Cadance?" Twilight forced herself not to flinch back when her old foalsitter tuned that fearsome face in her direction. She pointed at her brother. "Shiny apologized and he seems to have learned his lesson. When are you changing back?"

She did flinch at the blast of dragon breath when Cadance spoke, hot as a steam bath and reeking of sulfur.

"Oh, I may stay this way for a while. At least until you or Aunt Celly and Luna figure out how to get things get back to normal. As for Shiny," she gave her husband a lick with a long slimy tongue, "if he wants to live like a dragon, then he can learn what happens when a teenage dragon falls in love with a centuries-old adult." She leaned down towards Shiny, scaly lips pursing for a kiss. For his part Shiny looked to be somewhere between intrigued and horrified.

Shuddering at the idea of what was to follow, Twilight left the room. Se shut the doors behind her. As low draconic growls, hisses of delight, and moans began to filter through them she quickly cast a silencing spell on them along with a general 'Avoid This Room' spell for the rest of the school staff and students.

And then she hurried down to her office to write a very urgent letter to the Princesses.

***

In Canterlot, Princess Celestia nodded to her little sister. "We are decided then."

"Indeed," Luna said, looking grim. "Since Tiamat seeks to play a game with ponies and dragons..."

Celestia finished the thought for her. "We'll play as well. Or rather, the Alicorn of Games will." She cast a spell an sent a magical message off with one command: "Summon Prince Button Mash."

***

Elsewhere still, in a dark alley in Klugetown, a pair of little fillies slipped out of their stolen Diamond Wolf ponysuits to stand revealed as Cozy Glow and Ira. A purple alicorn, recognizable as Twilight Sparkle save for the surly look on her face accompanied them, loaded down with saddlebags and packs.The alley seemed darker than even the lack of light could suggest, and longer. Both ends of the alley looked like they ran off into infinity. If you looked down it either way, the normal noises of a Klugetown market day seemed dimmer than normal.

"Okay, Ira," Cozy said, looking around. Her gaze briefly rested on a poster that seemed to be in Prench and advertising a musical performance, odd for Klugetown. Massa de Requiem per Shuggay with Erik Zann as chief violinist, tonight only at the Cassilda Opera House? The Dirge of Shan sung by the King in Yellow? The pegasus filly shook her head. Whatever. "Now where's this music shop you told me about?"

"We still need to go down a few more alleys to get there," Ira told her almost-friend. She held up a map in one rotted smoky hoof. It looked like leather, very old by the ancient and near-forgotten Ponish runes on it, but Cozy decided she had to be wrong. Leather that old wouldn't still look wet. "But when we find it, we'll find Casonetto's Carillon, and he has that book about enchanted bells -- and then?" She smiled hideously, her teeth rotted fangs.

Cozy hugged her almost-friend. "Then we figure out how to use Mister Grogar's bell for ourselves!" She turned and gave False Twilight a kick in the flank. "Come on, phony pony! You're doing the carrying on this trip!" She and Ira turned and vanished into the shadowy depths of the alley.

"Of course, little Mistress," Twilight lowered her head, mane hanging to hide her evil smirk. "You lead the way. For now."

-

"Hey big brother!"

"AHHHH! Rumble?! Is that you?!" Thunderlane gasped at the gray and black dragonling.

"Yep. Scootaloo told me I should move up in life. She told me I'm gonna be really great at getting other foals to try out and see how great being a dragon is. Had to use up a lot of my allowance to get my hands on the dragon potion though!"

"Do you have a special talent for starting cults?!" Thunderlane heard himself exclaimed and covered his mouth. Trying to get out of his head the mental image of his baby brother getting a cult-leader cutie mark or something!

Starlight sneezed. "Why did I suddenly feel like there's a foal out there would make a great apprentice for me?"

Future Princess Starlight said nothing.

Rumble seemed to take his big brother's words in good humor however. "Don't worry big brother, everything is gonna turn out just fine!"

Session 103.8 Mtangalion

“Hold on, Your Highness!” shouted one of the Royal Pegasi Guards pulling Blueblood’s chariot. “There aren’t any dragons in the sky at present, but I don’t trust them not to show up and ‘accidentally’ make trouble!”

Prince Blueblood nodded, bracing himself in his seat. The wind was whipping his carefully groomed golden mane every which way, but there was nothing to be done about that at present. “Understood!” The pegasi swooped in low and fast, landing directly in front of the Friendship Castle and pausing just long enough for Blueblood to leap out before they launched themselves skyward once more.

Blueblood chuckled, watching them depart. “I’m in peril. No guards or attendants, potentially hostile situation… I suppose I should abandon royal decorum, this once!” With that, he galloped towards the castle doors, tugged them open with his own magic, and scrambled on through.

So far so good… but when Blueblood shut the castle doors again, he was cast into darkness. This wasn’t at all the welcome he’d envisioned. “Hello?” He heard whispering voices, too faint to make out, and soft steps scurried about the darkened crystal foyer.

Blueblood grinned, suddenly recognizing this game. “I should warn you all!” he called out, “You’re not dealing with some defenseless royal fop!”

The prince focused his will, and his unicorn body swiftly grew huge and shaggy, sprouting paws and claws and impressive fangs. His royal vestments did not burst apart… instead they vanished into the aether, instantly replaced with his authentic diamond wolf collar, thanks to the work of skilled royal enchanters and plentiful bits for commissioning them.

Now, fully revealed as a wolfpony, he could see the smaller canines in the dark as they circled and pounced! Blueblood staggered and fell, feigning being overwhelmed. “Oh, I am overcome! You scamps have bested me! Parley, parley I say!”

The little growls quickly became howls and barks of laughter, and the crystal glow gems flared to life, revealing Pavel, Elena, and Scruff sitting atop him… with a smirking Princess Twilight approaching. “And Rarity swore that you’d be terrible with foals,” she said.

“One serves as one must,” rumbled Blueblood, trying to smooth his wolf fur into some semblance of order. “But what’s all this?” He playfully ruffled Pavel’s headfur with a forepaw. “Not that I mind, but I thought I’d been summoned to negotiate with dragons, not for puppy-sitting.”

“Oh, you’ll definitely be doing that,” said Twilight. “Especially if Button Mash’s game backfires on us.” She teleported a bundle of letters to her hoof. “But since you were coming here anyway, I thought I could take care of some other royal business.”

Blueblood had only just shrugged off the pups and stood up, but catching the scents on those letters, he immediately sat his hindquarters down, whimpering and drooping his ears. “Dash it… And I thought the noblemares were persistent.”

Princess Twilight shook her head. “Apparently, as your ‘pony alpha,’ I’m supposed to order you to get your fuzzy behind back to Icehome and do your duty for the pack. They also suggested that having you spend more time around wolf pups might awaken your stubborn male instincts. Their words, not mine.”

Blueblood winced. “Yes yes, I know that Icehome has accepted me and all, but I’m also a Prince of Equestria! I can’t simply… You know...”

Elena padded over, ears flicking in honest confusion. “Why not? Did females offend Blueblood?”

Her brother Pavel joined her. “Strong males sire more pups, so pack will be stronger! Blueblood’s really strong, it’s duty to pack!” He and Elena grinned, nodding to each other.

Scruff the diamond dog pup blinked, pointing a claw. “Why are you wolves always nodding like that? Don’t you get dizzy?”

Elena tilted her head, as if Scruff had just asked why water was wet. “Wolves are strong when pack agrees!” She and Pavel beamed and nodded some more.

Scruff groaned, tugging on his own ears. “But I see you doing that even when there’s no other wolves around!”

Pavel rolled his eyes, but he patiently tried to explain. “Wolf with strong pack is strong, he’s never alone!”

“I feel like I should be taking cultural notes,” mused Blueblood. Then he did a mild double-take, noticing that Princess Twilight actually was taking notes. “Of course.”

Session 103.9 Alex Warlorn

Meanwhile, in the human world, Sci-Twi, as part of her seeking to get over her old social anxiety ... stared in bewilderment at her six friends... Spike was grinding online again. (And Twilight worried again Spike might start insisting on uplifting all dogs on the planet to sapience... like had been done to Gilda's dog, Ember.)

"You... you all decided for my campaign to WHAT?!" Sci-Twi said, her face blushing bright red.

"We're all playing nudist characters," Rainbow Dash said.

"EVEN FLUTTERSHY?!" Sci-Twi asked with a high pitched voice.

Fluttershy blushed herself a little. "Well, the others were doing it, it's all pretend, and it's not like I sleep in the nude."

"None of us asked that."

"OH!" Fluttershy clammed up.

"Look! It's not as bad as you make it sound!" Sunset said. "Rainbow Dash is a warforged barbarian, so there is no taboo about her character going around naked."

"I'm a fantasy-land war machine baby!" Rainbow Dash cheered.

"Well, we used a lot of our 'character level appropriate money' combined with that magic tattoo supplement you approved..."

"Oh, right I did..."

"Please don't tell my mom and dad about that one," Fluttershy squeaked.

Sunset said, "I don't see what the big deal is, you girls are so saturated in magic now that your cutie marks appear on your body anyway."

"NO ONE HAS TO KNOW ABOUT THAT DARLING!" Rarity hissed.

"And Rarity, you too?" Sci-Twi pleaded.

"Well. My character isn't exactly naked, you did approve my adaption of the diamond dogs from World of Horsecraft remember? She's a Saluki breed, so her fur covers everything naughty anyway... and is covered in jewelry along her arms and legs, some magical that enhance her defenses, some mundane. And she's a sorceress."

Sci-Twi began to wonder if she should have been more strict in what she approved for her friends' characters.

"Well, my character is a golden Kobold fighter, who has magic tattoos on her body that enhance her AC," Sunset explained.

"A KOBOLD?! Those pathetic weaklings? Most adventures can kill them by sneezing on them!" Rainbow Dash said.

"There is a reason why they're listed as hiding behind endless booby traps darling."

"Oh you'll see how nasty she can be in a fight," Sunset grinned. "Considering she's right in stabbing level to the place humanoid keep things... seriously, there's a reason we ponies evolved to keep those things safely in the back."

"Too much information darling."

"Oh! Sorry!"

Sci-Twi sighed. "So, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, what are your characters?"

"I'm playing a female Lizard Folk Cleric," Fluttershy said. "Remember how I asked you pretty please to have non-offensive one spell I could cast on my character as part of her back story being captured by wizards? I chose Mage armor."

"THAT'S NOT A CLERIC SPELL!"

"You didn't say it had to be a cleric spell."

"... No I didn't."

Pinkie Pie said, "My character does wear clothes."

"Oh thank goodness!"

"THEY'RE AN EXILED MODRON BARD BABY!" Pinkie Pie giggled. "The Great and All Powerful Primus The One and the Prime has severed my connection to the hive mind and sent me out into the multiverse, now I seek to understand all these weird customs and humanoids obsession with covering themselves even when it serves no practical purpose, BZT! Illogical! Must try on all outfits to determine meaning!"

"So, barbarian, fighter, wizard, cleric, bard... that leaves..."

"Ah'm playin' a jet-black chaotic good were-cat rogue. I used to be a lying jerk, but I got accidentally infected when I robbed the wrong isolated community... A malfunction of my curse means I'm stuck using' my hybrid or full feline form..."

Sci-Twi asked, "You're planning to infect every bad guy you come across aren't you?"

"What? Better than killin' 'em."

And Sci-Twi had been worried about the nudist thing...

Session 103.10 Mtangalion Ardashir Alex Warlorn

In the abandoned basement of the former Golden Oaks Library, Scootaloo banged a chunk of basalt on a desk. "Hear ye, this meeting of the Ponyville Dragon Whelps Cult will come to order!"

Rumble groaned and faceclawed. "Please, cult is such a nasty word! I'm just finding other foals who wanna try out our new draconic lifestyle!"

"Whatever!" roared Scootaloo. “It’s definitely gonna be the most awesome club!” She paused to glance around their secret headquarters, which was in fact empty, besides the two of them. "Once we get some more members. Hey, wanna burn more pictures of our totally lame former rulers?"

Rumble grinned. "Sure, sounds like a great bonding exercise! For our group, which isn't a cult!"

Many miles away at Canterlot Palace, Princess Celestia was ignoring a stack of photographs in favor of enjoying a banana cream dessert. "I wonder when those dragon tykes will realize that they've been magically flame-mailing these pictures straight to me."

Luna arched a brow. "You're not troubled by their disloyalty, sister?"

Celestia shrugged. "Should I be? The aristocrats meet to burn our photographs once a week."

"Of late, they only burn your picture, sister." Luna turned her morning paper to the next page. "The fools labor to convince me I should lead a coup and replace you."

That gave Celestia pause. "Have they forgotten what almost happened the last time that was tried?"

Luna waggled a hoof. "Nay. This time, they plan to poison me once I depose you. Apparently, they know not of mine immunity to such things!" She took a swig from a wine bottle labelled 'From Your Aristocratic Admirer.' "At least they're cutting back on the arsenic. It was ruining the taste."

More pictures appeared in bursts of dragon fire... a foal drawing of Celestia bowing before Tiamat, and another of her and Luna making silly faces while wearing piles of stinky poo on their heads in place of crowns. Celestia smirked. "It seems the whelps have figured it out."

“And still, they do not repent?!” Luna thumped a hoof on the table. "Reverse thy connection, sister! Mail something back that will teach yonder miscreants some manners!"

Celestia pushed her chair back from the table. "Better yet, I'll pay them a visit myself. Just as soon as I pick someone else up..."

"Fellow dragons!” bellowed Rumble.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Still just the two of us.”

“Whatever! Fellow dragons, how have you honored Mother Goddess Tiamat today? MAKE IT GOOD! We're not wimpy ponies here!"

Without warning, a solar beam blasted right through the basement door. “Indeed, I am not,” said Princess Celestia. "And neither is she…”

Dragon Lord Ember shoved her way past Celestia, barely able to fit down the tunnel with her greed-enhanced stature. "You bratty whelps!" She breathed a torrent of fire over their heads, making both whelps cower. "What's the idea, insulting one of Dragonkind's few allies!?" She towered over them, speaking in a voice that literally dripped with venom. “WELL?”

"Hey, we're dragons!” stammered Scootaloo. “Being forceful, despising puny ponies, and refusing to take orders we don't respect is what we do!"

All the commotion was drawing a lot of attention to their formerly secret hideout, including Garble, who stuck his head in the tunnel. "Tell it like it is, little sister!"

Ember slammed the Bloodstone Scepter down, smashing the basalt chunk and leaving the scepter embedded in the desk. "Garble, shut up." She turned back towards Scootaloo and Rumble. "As for you…” She grinned sharply. “Heh. You were actually dumb enough to try it."

Scootaloo hefted the Bloodstone Scepter over her head. "Bwa-haha! I listened to Smolder's Feast of Fire story about Scales! Now I’m the Dragon Lord! What are ya gonna do about that, huh?"

Rumble gulped, backing away. “Um, why’s Ember still huge... and not obeying you?”

Ember spat fire at Scootaloo, then kicked the little dragoness in the stomach while she was shielding her face. The Scepter clattered to the cave floor, and Ember took her time stomping over, then bending down to retrieve it. “Because the scepter only works for a dragon who’s proved she’s worthy to be Dragon Lord! Now…” She shoved Scootaloo towards Celestia. “Apologize!” Just to hammer home the point, Ember planted one foot atop Scootaloo’s head, firmly holding her down.

Scootaloo shuddered as she was forcefully reminded that Ember was Dragon Lord, and she wasn't. "I'm sorry, Celestia."

Ember’s slitted eyes narrowed. "Apologize and MEAN it. You too, Rumble!"

"I'm sorry, Princess Celestia, Goddess of the Sun and ally to dragon kind!"

Above ground, Princess Twilight teleported into the crowd, sending ponies scurrying. "Is it true? Ember is back?! GREAT! That means she can use the scepter to undo her unwitting brainwashing of my brother and... my friends?"

Starlight Glimmer was wearing glasses and a t-shirt that read 'Welcome to the mind-control club!' "Sorry, is this a bad time?"

Ember emerged from the tunnel, snorting. "What do you mean, brainwashing?” Shining Armor, Rainbow Dash, Cheerilee, and Applejack were standing in the forefront of the crowd, and they looked upon the Bloodstone Scepter in awe when Ember waved it around. “Sure, the scepter makes dragons obey, but that doesn't mean I control their minds like some lame unicorn spell. They still have free will and choose for themselves how they obey me."

Scootaloo sighed. “Well, so much for the dragon cult.”

“It’s not a cult!” insisted Rumble.

Cheerilee put a claw on each of their shoulders. “That’s an easy mistake for other creatures to make, young ones… when you’re meeting in an abandoned basement! I believe we can serve Tiamat much better with an official dragon club, with regular meetings in the schoolhouse!”

Unnoticed at the edge of the crowd, a nondescript “pony” slipped away and into an alley. Queen Chrysalis would very much want to hear about a way to control dragons...

“So that’s the secret!” gloated Chrysalis, when her drone had finished his report. Green flames danced, transforming her into a beautiful but fearsome blue dragoness. "Once I replace Ember and claim the Bloodstone Scepter, I'll have an army of dragons to conquer Equestria with!"

Tirek just laughed. "I can't wait to see how you botch this one."

“Silence, fool! You will not interfere…”

Chrysalis froze, then looked sharply towards the ancient centaur. “What was that?”

Tirek arched a brow. “I didn’t say anything.”

Vastly amused laughter seemed to echo in Chrysalis’ head. “Clearly, the stress of dealing with this so-called alliance of equals is wearing on me.” She changed back to her natural shape, sneering. "Once I put that decrepit old goat Grogar in his place-"

She choked on her words as Grogar himself entered the room.

"And where would that be, little missy?" he snarled at her.

"Why, right over me," said Chrysalis, gritting her fangs and forcing herself to smile. "Master."

Session 103.11 Alex Warlorn

In the human world, the native Starlight Glimmer, conspiracy theorist... rather ironic, or perhaps fitting if the psychology of conspiracy theorists is to be believed, was playing a indie computer game centered around hypnosis... the problem was what the game was ALSO centered around."

"AGH!" Starlight banged her head against the table, and deleted the game before her parents were laid eyes on it. "Why does every single hypnosis video game out there have to be about sex! There are other applications for mind control you know!"

-

"No Starlight! You are NOT using mind control to make them ACT normal!" Princess Twilight said.

"But it would fix everything!"

"NO IT WOULDN'T! ... And WHAT IS TAKING SPIKE AND MINA SO LONG?!"

-

Spike asked awkwardly to the pegasus transformed Mina (normally dragon). "Uh, Mina, I know Twilight, and she's getting antsy by now... She keep dragon mailing me letters wanting to know where we are!"

"Sorry! So this is what it's like for weather drakes!" Mina said as she manipulated the weather with her newfound pegasus magic.

Thankfully Equestria was not so bureaucratically insane that you had to fill out a stack of paperwork to move about a few clouds and water a few flowers.

-

Dragon Lord Ember said to the growing population of ponies 'upgraded' to dragons, "So... talking it out with the Dragon Elders... and I'm supposed to ask which of you is the oldest or the strongest of the flight here? Though as Dragon Lord I get to fudge things! So I'm going to ask which of you is the smartest?"

Shining Armor (thankfully with Spike The Great a national hero, the crystalline crystal ponies had no fear of the gem eating dragon their prince had become), and Cheerilee both stood up at the same time and glared at each other.

"Why are you here if you're not a dragon?" Ember asked Marble.

"I'm part of this flight by being betrothed to Big Mac's herd," Marble said politely.

"Ponies do that?" Garble asked.

"We used to... and nobody bothered to change the laws."

Session 103.12 Jarkes

Starlight sighed. "Well, since clearly my help isn't needed, I'm just going to go make out with Sunburst in my room until this all blows over. Don't wait up!" With that, she teleported away.

Future Starlight suddenly received another letter. "Oh, this one's from Luster Dawn. 'Dear Past Princess Twilight, thank you for making sure that Starlight and Sunburst ensure my existence. ...At least I'm pretty sure they're my parents in at least one timeline. It's REALLY unclear.' ...You know, you'd think it would feel awkward for me to read about my past self doing it, but I'm basically desensitized by now."

Twilight made an incomprehensible groan.

Session 103.13 Mtangalion

“Whatever could be taking Prince Button Mash so long!?” demanded Princess Luna, stamping a hoof in frustration. “We summoned him as high sovereigns of Equestria, did we not? He does not strike me as the sort of colt who would patiently wait on a royal carriage, or the train…” Luna trailed off. “Do you hear that, sister?”

Indeed, there was a high-pitched ‘waaauuughh!’ sound in the air, faint and coming from a great distance, but rapidly drawing nearer.

Princess Celestia smiled. “I believe that Prince Button will be joining us shortly.”

Luna opened her mouth to demand an explanation, but just then a small bronze and amber blur rocketed into the courtyard outside, making the castle towers ring and light up as it rapidly ricocheted between them like a runaway ball in a giant pinball machine.    

A panicked royal guard bolted into the throne room. “A-a-announcing… Prince Button Mash!” he shouted, before diving out of the way.

Button shot through the open doors and skidded right up to the royal dias before he landed in a heap. “Whoa, whoa whoa…” He put a hoof to his head and tried to refold his wings, pupils still rolling round and round in his eyes.

Luna quickly extinguised the smoldering carpet with conjured icy mists. “We know that thou art new to thy powers, Button Mash, but ye must learn better control!”

The Alicorn colt blushed. “Sorry, I’m trying! It’s just… whenever I start flying, I’ve gotta go fast!” Across the throne room, a scroll appeared in a burst of fire and dark smoke, falling onto a pile of similar scrolls. “Um, what was that?”

“It’s just another lawsuit,” said Celestia soothingly. “Pay them no mind.” Indeed, a castle maid was using a levitated push broom to shove all the scrolls into an open furnace. “Now, tell us your plan to ease tensions between dragons and our ponies in Ponyville.”

“Oh, that’s easy!” said Button Mash brightly. “We’ll do what always works… challenge them to a game of O&O!”

Luna frowned. “Would this be some grand contest with the highest stakes? More ponies becoming dragons, or dragons changed back to ponies, depending on the outcome? Winning would solve many problems, but we could ill-afford to lose.”

“Nah, nothing like that,” said Button. “We just need to get all those new dragons having a good time with everycreature, so the Magic of Friendship can kick in and remind them that they’re still ponies at heart. Ponies and dragons, just having fun!”

“You’re far too casual about dropping titles, Princess…” Blueblood sighed heavily. “My apologies… Twilight. As a properly bred and educated royal pony, I am proud to be known as Prince Blueblood of Equestria, Grand Marshall of the Realm, Admiral of Their Highnesses’ Navy!”

“And Icehome’s most eligible bachelor,” quipped Trixie smugly, having just arrived to join the strategy discussion.

The wolf pups started nodding while Blueblood fumed. “You’re one to talk, Miss Queen of the Gem Dogs.”

Somehow, Trixie and Blueblood wound up in their canine forms, snarling at each other.

“Pampered overbred pup!”

“Incessantly yapping mongrel!”

Twilight banged her head against the map table. “If those two getting together is vital to the future, I don’t want to hear about it!”

Author's Note

Session 103.0 Mtangalion and Alex Warlorn
Session 103.1 Ardashir
Session 103.2 Alex Warlorn
Session 103.3 Alex Warlorn
Session 103.4 Mtangalion
Session 103.5 Mtangalion
Session 103.6 Alex Warlorn
Session 103.7 Ardashir (and a little extra by me)
Session 103.8 Mtangalion
Session 103.9 Alex Warlorn
Session 103.10 Mtangalion Ardashir Alex Warlorn
Session 103.11 Alex Warlorn
Session 103.12 Jarkes
Session 103.13 Mtangalion

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?
What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Art by by XeviousGreenII, used with permission.

MLP FIM copyright Hasbro.

Cover art by Death-Driver-5000 https://www.deviantart.com/death-driver-5000/art/Legends-of-Zecora-s-Temple-213502387

Session 105

Session 105.0 Alex Warlorn

"On the bright side," Starlight said, "At least once this is done Our Town will turn on Tiamat in about twenty seconds if things go their natural route."

Future Princess Starlight said, "You did that to yourself. You could have taught the cutie mark removal spell to somepony else, but no, you had to be the big hero to save everypony from their brainwashing butt symbols.

"You could have explained ahead of time how your cutie mark was a necessary evil since you needed your magic to remove their marks.

You could have researched a way that ponies with the equal mark had their talents dispersed among the whole, bringing about TRUE equality!

You could have researched a way to make the Staff of Sameness FOR REAL instead of needing to invent a fake! But no, you didn't TRUST THEM to understand."

"AND I PROVEN RIGHT!"

"If you'd done it in a way that it wasn't so big reveal in one big intense moment it would have been different."

"How would you know that?"

"Remember those timelines we created? Part of my penance is to keep an eye on them. I get to see a lot of time and space and possible timelines. But we were too big on becoming the great savior of ponykind to SEE any other possibilities!"

"Trixie always thought that Cutie Mark Manipulation was your special talent and you COULDN'T teach the spell to anypony else ... but that was never put to the test."

"NOT HELPING!" Starlight hissed. Then asked her future self, "PLEASE tell me Trixie doesn't become an Alicorn."

"HEY!"

"Don't worry, she becomes outright HUMBLE by Alicorns standards..."

"In other words her ego doesn't shrink one bit?"

"HEY!" Princess Twilight snapped. "And another example of Mark Magic was Starswirl's unfinished spell... which... might explain how easily Starlight was able to master and improve upon it."

Starlight said, "I think it's pretty obvious by now that improving on existing spells is what I do, just ask Sunburst and his shattered self-esteem."

Sunburst said, "Hey! ... Sorry, sorry! Didn't mean to bother anypony..."

Twilight shouted, "WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING IN MY CASTLE?!"

Starlight said hlooking out the window, seeing Big Mac, Cheerilee, Applejack, and the other former ponies dancing wildly at mighty Tiamat's feet, spewing flames into the air and crying out her praise, the teenage dragons oblivious to all other things in comparison to her draconic goddess' magnificence.

"... Hoping that the scheme invented by a child who somehow stumbled into godhood is enough to sway our friends and family away from the grasp from a primal goddess older than time by showing 'ponies and dragons, just having fun.' And whatever Spike and Mina are up to, and whatever move Ember is willing to play, keep it all from going insane... So which ponies are going to play Ogres and Oubliettes with our transformed friends and family?"

"... At least Cadence is keeping Shiny from being further corrupted by Tiamat... right?" Twilight asked worried she was tempting fate.

Session 105.1 Mtangalion and Alex Warlorn

Tiamat took an ominous stance, one mighty forepaw raised. Before Princess Twilight's confusion could turn to alarm and panic, Tiamat thrust a single claw into the ground and dragged it through earth and stone, digging a trench with such violence that lava began to seep into it.

"SEIZE THIS MOMENT!" boomed the Dragon Mother to her delighted young dragons. "ROAR AND STAMP AND FLAME TO YOUR HEART'S CONTENT! REVEL IN ALL THAT IT MEANS TO BE DRAGON!" Tiamat lifted her heads and breathed three tremendous blasts into the air: fire, lightning, and cold. Then her central head leaned in, looming over Prince Button Mash. "NOW DO YOU BEGIN TO SEE, LITTLE WHELP? YOU'RE A THOUSAND YEARS TOO SOON TO CHALLENGE ME. BY YOUR FOLLY, I STAND TO GAIN EVEN MORE!"

Equestria's newest prince had not been idle, nor cowering in fear. Button was putting the finishing touches on a sprawling open air pavilion, surrounding a replica of the wooden table in Twilight's Castle where she and her friends had spent many an evening playing O&O.

"Do you really think you can scare me into giving up before I've made a single move?" The grinning colt lit his horn and began conjuring again, making sure the table was well-supplied with drinks and snacks, with rulebooks and notepads and pencils, and even a small mountain of golden coins and jewels for a centerpiece. "What kind of game would that be?"

Diamond Tiara was craning her neck to glare at the fluttering wings on her scaly back, fuming in frustration.

"Come on..." She flapped harder, actually starting to lift off the ground. "I'm doing it! Yes! I'm... no no no!" The new whelp overbalanced and flipped end over end, plunging into the lava pool with a huge splash.

"Bwahaha!" Scootaloo pointed and laughed in midair, perfectly in control. "You call that flying? Looks like you could use a few pointers!"

Diamond wiped lava out of her crimson and gold glowing eyes and grinned slyly. "From the pegasus who never flew a day in her life? As if!" She started flinging clawfuls of lava at Scootaloo.

"Too slow!" taunted Scootaloo, weaving left and right. "Missed me again!" A glob of lava got her right in the face. "Ack, no fair!" She belly flopped into the lava too, and pretty soon both whelps were laughing together, mud-wrestling with molten rock.

Shining Armor grinned, soaking his toes in the pool with a look of utter bliss. "This is the best! No bickering nobles, no waking up at dawn, no bucking paperwork! Wait till I tell Cady about..."

That train of thought was like a dash of cold water to the face. "Cadence..." The young dragon sat up, the crimson and gold gleam fading from his eyes. How many days had it been since he'd even thought of Cadence... or Flurry, his own daughter? Hadn't he done all of this in the first place for them... to live a long life beside his Alicorn wife and daughter? He lifted a clawful of lava, watching the molten rock spill from his hand, streaming between his finger claws. "Suddenly, this all feels so... wrong..."

Tiamat's farthest left head turned towards her dragon Shining Armor had become, sensing one of her dragons feeling a moment of 'confusion' but that was easily-

Tiamat's farthest left head cringed as she'd been physically struck, normally nothing, but the Queen Mother of Dragons had FELT IT... except it wasn't physical. It was like a more focused and intense version of the headache she'd suffered when crystal ponies had upgraded species in honor of their hero... and in her mind's eyes, she saw Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, glaring daggers at her.

'Claws off my husband,' came Princess Mi Amore Cadenza's telepathic voice as if she was right there in TIamat's face. 'No matter how much of the rest of him you claim, his heart was conjoined with mine before you even knew he existed old dragoness!'

Queen Tiamat didn't let her reaction be outwardly seen least she show weakness. But a thought did cross her five brains:

She could put effort into her royal presence, burn away everything in her new precious treasures of what they'd been, everything of who they'd been, leave nothing but perfect draconic blank slates... Queen Chrysalis would have turned green with envy at such a level of raw telepathic might, and would have used it to 'cure' every changeling who'd betrayed their mother. There was just one problem, Tiamat wasn't Chrysalis.

Once upon a time, before ponies had invented the written word, before Prince Tirek existed... Tiamat had found a emerald the size of her heads, too beautiful for consuming... the most dazzling jewel she'd ever seen... she'd have none steal it... she grasped in her claws... and the force of her strength shattered it.

What Tiamat didn't realize, was through their momentary telepathic connection, Princess Amore Cadenza saw the memory as well.

Session 105.2 Mtangalion

While Prince Button was setting the stage, Starlight Glimmer had been getting increasingly annoyed with the *other* Starlight Glimmer. Her future Alicorn self wasn't even being subtle or circumspect anymore... she stood right in the open, right by her side no less, watching the proceedings with the sort of alert disinterest that ponies wore while waiting in line at the vegetable market.

"Would you stop it?!" Starlight finally blurted out.

Future Starlight arched a brow. "Stop what?"

Starlight waved a hoof in frustration. "Stop being so... smugly prescient about everything!"

"Ahh." Future Starlight nodded. "I knew you were going to say that."

Starlight stamped a hoof. "No you didn't! You're just being annoying!"

"It's unavoidable," said Future Starlight serenely. "I must, because I did."

Starlight scowled and took a deep breath... and simultaneously, so did her twin.

"I bet you didn't know I was going to say... cucumber kumquats!" shouted both mares in unison. "Three point one four one five nine! Stop that! Cut it out! No, you cut it out! I'm telling moooom!!"

Future Starlight watched calmly while her younger self gasped for air. "One day, you'll look back on this and laugh. Oh wait, I'm doing that now. Hah, hah."

Starlight groaned and flopped to the grass. "I knew it. You're here to punish me for a lifetime of being totally evil, aren't you? Even if Twilight was too soft to actually punish me, it was bound to catch up to me sooner or later!"

And that's when her future self tossed aside the mask of divine patience and grabbed hold of her, taking her completely by surprise. "Stop saying that about yourself!" she spoke earnestly. "Don't ever say that. Do totally evil ponies get to become Alicorns?"

Starlight blinked. "Um... No?"

Future Starlight smiled, and gave her younger self a warm hug.

"Oh!" exclaimed Princess Twilight. "You made physical contact without tearing a hole in the space/time continuum!" Both Starlights turned to glare at her. "What? That's a good thing."

Session 105.3 Mtangalion

Prince Button Mash trotted around the game table once more, then nodded, satisfied. "Okay! Today's adventure is gonna be..."

Tiamat put her foot down, causing a dull boom which made ponies and dragons and *buildings* sway."NO."

Button hesitated, his confidence faltering. "But..."

"YOU CHALLENGED ME, THEREFORE I MAY CHOOSE THE GAME. THAT IS HOW PONIES DO THINGS, YES?" Without waiting for a response, Tiamat smugly continued, "AN 'O&O' GAME IS ACCEPTABLE, BUT I SAY THAT IT SHALL BE A CONTEST OF DRAGONS VERSUS DRAGONS! DRAGONS WHO SUPPORT THE EXPANSION OF MY HOARD, AND DRAGONS WHO STAND OPPOSED."

Starlight Glimmer facehoofed. "Well, that's just great," she hissed. "I hope you're good at improvising!"

Button Mash gulped. "Naturally! An Oubliette Master always thinks on his hooves!"

"GOOD," purred Tiamat. "MY DRAGON LORD SHALL JOIN MY TEAM, OF COURSE." She gritted her teeth slightly. "AND... HER CONSORT TO BE." Her central head loomed menacingly over the stage. "DO NOT EMBARRASS US."

For a moment, Garble looked like he might faint from sheer terror. Instead, he leapt atop the table, striking a defiant pose and grooving to a Dragon Rap beat! "We got this, Queen! It'll be the best show you've seen! Our victory will sting! And our foes will be fleeing! YEAH!"

Dragon Lord Ember blushed hard, seeming not to know whether to hug him or strangle him. Many young dragons in the crowd roared, spitting flames in the air and pumping their fists. Many more dragons and ponies shot curious looks at Pinkie Pie. Pinkie stopped tapping a hoof to the beat from her boombox and blinked back at them innocently. "What?"

"Well, I'm standing with Bahamut, and against you!" declared Mina. She stepped forward, putting an arm around Spike's shoulders. "And I'm sure that Spike will also..."

"AH, AH, AH!" Tiamat waggled a claw at them. "HEATHSPIKE BEARS A LEGENDARY *NAME*. THROUGHOUT THE AGES, HIS ANCESTORS HAVE STOOD BETWEEN MY KING AND I, TIPPING THE BALANCE BETWEEN ORDER AND CHAOS. I TRUST NODRAGON ELSE TO BE THE OUBLIETTE MASTER OF THIS LITTLE CONTEST."
While Spike blinked, dismayed, the Dragon Queen chuckled like an avalanche of grinding boulders. "SURELY, THIS IS NO HARDSHIP. MANY DRAGONS LIVE IN THAT PATHETIC REBEL LAIR KNOWN AS DRAGON TOWN. SOME OF THEM CAN JOIN YOU AND... BUT WHAT IS THIS? *NONE* OF THEM DARED TO FOLLOW YOU HERE?" Five heads nodded as one. "IT SEEMS YOU STAND ALONE!"

"She's not alone!" shouted a voice. Many heads turned, even two of Queen Tiamat's, to see a young blue and gray-scaled dragon swoop over the crowd, then glide to a landing by Mina's side. Shining Quartz... no, Shining *Armor* thumped a clawed fist against his chest. "I'm still not sure exactly what my future's going to be, but if I'm going to be any kind of dragon at all, then I want to be a noble dragon, like Spike!"

Session 105.4 Mtangalion

In the skies over Ponyville, the five faces of Tiamat scowled, growling like a spring thunderstorm. "ONE OF THE NEW GEMS," she muttered to herself. "I WAS BOUND TO LET SLIP A FEW. AN ACCEPTABLE LOSS."

A commotion on the ground drew her attention. "Whoa, whoa there!" roared Applejack, pushing and shoving her way to the front of the dragon crowd. The bronze dragoness glared at Garble and Ember, claws on hips. "Do either of y'all even know how to play O&O?"

Garble rolled his eyes. "Like, duh. I play World of Horsecraft all the time! That's the same thing, right?"

Dragon Lord Ember shrugged. "I watched him play. It can't be that hard."

Applejack sighed. "Figured as much." She climbed into the next empty chair by Ember's side. "Don't you worry none. Now that Ah'm on yer team, Ah can walk ya through it!"

Pinkie Pie gasped, and Twilight and Fluttershy looked dismayed. "Applejack, darling!" protested Rarity. "Do you really intend to play against us? We're your friends."

That red and gold gleam seemed to sizzle in Applejack's eyes. "Heh, friends. Ya know what Ah see? A bunch of scared and jealous little ponies who still won't admit the truth, which is that dragons are just plum better!"

"Here, here!" boomed Big Mac.

"What they said," rasped Rainbow Dash smugly.

"You know it!" shouted Scootaloo, hovering beside Dash. She fistbumped with her idol.

"Well, I write my own O&O modules!" boasted Shining Armor, trying to win some momentum back for Team Bahamut. "Mina, how much do you know about O&O?"

Mina smirked. "I run a comic book shop. What do you think?"

"I like her already," said Shining Armor, grinning. "Now who else can join our team?"

There was a nervous clatter of hooves from the thin crowd of ponies brave enough to gather this close, and Apple Bloom stepped towards the table. "Miss Mina? You say you're going against Tiamat. If Ah join you... is there some way you can keep Tiamat out of mah head?"
Big Mac stared in sheer disbelief. "WHAT?!"

Granny Smith stamped a foot... being one of the older new dragons, she loomed over the crowd. "Apple Bloom, child, what are ya thinking?!"

"You get your tail back to the house," snapped Applejack. "We'll talk about this later."

"N-no!" shouted Apple Bloom, standing her ground. "Frankly? Ah'm scared half to death that Tiamat will make me start actin' like a big mean ol' bully, just like... Like the rest of mah family! And Ah hate how this horseapples already has Scootaloo on one side and Sweetie on the other. There ain't any good choices, but... Ah can't just do nothing'!"

In the stunned silence, Mina spoke up. "Spike? If you have to be neutral anyway, then... may I have the Tidescale Staff back? Please? I want to try something."

Spike smiled warmly. "Of course! You know I was only keeping it warm for you, right?" He held out the staff, Mina closed her claws around it... and for the second time in his short life, Spike willingly let an ancient artifact of the Ryujin leave his grasp. Somehow, he seemed no less for it.
"Sheesh, can you believe this guy?" muttered Garble under his breath. "I mean, some of us would like to hold an all-powerful artifact just freakin' once, you know?"

For her part, Mina hefted the Tidescale Staff, her expression puzzled, then mildly shocked. Then the relic did something that neither Spike nor Mina had yet seen... power seemed to surge forth, in a way that made every dragon for a hundred yards around sit up and take notice. The glow pouring off the staff spread to Mina herself, giving her scales a smooth, metallic sheen. "Dragon Sage?" she whispered. "Me?! I don't know... but I'll do my best!"

"Whoa," breathed Shiny, poking at her shoulder with a claw. The glow immediately spread to him as well, turning his gray scales to gleaming silver. "Yikes! Check this out." His eyes grew unfocused. "Oh! Um... heh, I guess I kinda did use Bahamut as a generic boss monster in some of my adventure modules. It won't happen again, just please don't sue me!"

Apple Bloom did a little prance of joy before rushing to embrace them both, and then she finally let go after days and days of holding the Apple Family "curse" back, smoothly transforming into a shining gold and ruby-scaled little dragoness. She shot into the air, whooping and hollering as she spun and flew in several loops before dropping into her chair at the game table. "Ah hope ya brought yer A game... sis! Ah won't hold back."

"ANOTHER MINOR LOSS," grumbled Tiamat, sounding less confident than before. "THIS CHANGES NOTHING."

One more young dragoness landed on the stage. Smolder sighed, rolling her eyes. "This is so lame... but enough's enough. Get me a chair and I'll play too."

Dragon Lord Ember stopped teasing Garble by holding the Bloodstone Scepter just out of his reach. "Great! You've been at this school, so I know you'll be good at this game stuff."

"Not you," snapped Smolder, moving to stand between Mina and Shining. "I'm joining them."

Tiamat's eyes grew wide. "WHAT? HOW DARE YOU? NO..." The very ground began to shake as the Dragon Mother howled, driving her talons right into Ponyville's bedrock. "NOOO!!!"

Session 105.5 Mtangalion

Smolder gulped, trying to shake off her awe at Tiamat's anger. "Well, come on!" she urged Mina. "Use that staff thingy and zap me already!"

Smolder reached for the Tidescale Staff, but it sparked like a lightning rod, making her yelp and pull away. Not that she'd suddenly turned into a wimp or anything dumb like that. It actually hurt! It took a lot to make dragons feel pain.

Mina blinked, seeing how Smolder seemed to repel the magic instead of absorbing it like Shining and Apple Bloom had. "Okay... I'm kinda new here, but I don't think you really want this."

"Of course I do!" protested Smolder. "I said I did, didn't I? You're just doing it right!"

"ENOUGH," spoke Tiamat, just one word, like a thunderclap.
In the space between one heartbeat and the next, everything went black, plunging Smolder into a deep darkness lit only by five pairs of blazing red and gold eyes.

DRAGON'S WILL
SHALL NOT BE BOUND
IN DRAGON GAZE
TRUTH IS FOUND

The burning eyes closed, and an entire landscape flew out of the dark, hurtling toward her! "Whoa, whoa!" cried Smolder, trying to spread her wings and brace for some kind of impact, but instead she touched down gently, landing in an intensely volcanic landscape, dark ash beneath her feet and churning red clouds overhead.

The young dragoness slowly turned in a circle, gaping at everything. What was this place? Were those... roads made of obsidian? And perfectly sized dragon fortresses, carved from the craggy mountain stones? She sighed blissfully, curling her toes... they'd never felt so toasty warm! "Is this that place those ponies were talking about?" she wondered aloud. "Where it's always scorching hot and the fires never go out?"

"Better," purred a voice, familiar and yet not. The air warped like a heat mirage, and a dragoness stamped towards her on two legs... heavy and powerful, about as large as adult dragons grew before they took to walking on all fours and calling themselves elders.
Smolder's eyes bulged. "No way..." The approaching figure *was* familiar, but impossible too! Red-scaled body with mighty wings, a whiplike tail with a wyvern stinger, *five* different colored heads on sinuous necks. "T-T-Tiamat? Whoa, is that an avatar?! I thought..."

Tiamat... yes, it could be none other... turned her central head's nose up haughtily. "Do not imagine that I have made myself small and weak, daughter! I will never do that." Drawing close, Tiamat reached down and lifted Smolder in her arms, carefully scritching her head scales and nuzzling with her outer heads.

For a moment, Smolder resented this. She *was* kinda mad at Tiamat just now, and she certainly wasn't some baby dragon who needed hugs! Somehow, though, Tiamat's motherly affection just seemed so possessive, so *genuine*, she couldn't help but relax into it.

"It is a necessary illusion," Tiamat continued. "Your mortal eyes could not otherwise bear the sight of me in my full glory, here in the ryujin realm."

Smolder smirked. "I dunno... You're a lot more... you know, approachable like this. Maybe if you showed this to more creatures, they'd understand..."

Tiamat stamped a foot. "I don't want to be more approachable! I am Tiamat, mightiest of goddesses, for the mightiest of all creature-kinds!" She arched a brow. "What is that look on your face, child? Do not mock me!"

"No, I'm not!" said Smolder quickly. "It's just... wait, did you say 'ryujin realm?'" Her expression turned sour. "I'd better not be dead! I still have lots of stuff to do."

"Indeed, you do." Tiamat gave her one more soothing scritch before setting her down again. "No corruptive influence or pony magic can reach this place, so now you can speak freely of the plot against me!"

Smolder was starting to feel like she'd walked into one of Headmare Twilight's infamous pop quizzes, completely unprepared. "Plot? What do you mean? What plot?"

Tiamat scowled. "Surely, you must have perceived it!" Life-sized figures began to form from the ash clouds around her, each taking shape as she named it. "Nightmare Moon. Discord. Sombra. The Storm King. Chrysalis. Each of them was a mighty ruler. Each of them was cast down by ponies, and the *Harmony* they serve. Each one laid low, their lands and followers taken!"

Tiamat clenched a fist, grinding her scales so fiercely that the ash on her claws caught fire. "The fall of Queen Chrysalis was the most galling of all. Before her very eyes, her children were hideously transformed and turned against her! My dragons and I will NOT suffer such a fate. I would sooner break the world." The ash figures flew apart, scattered on the winds. "That is why I had to strike first!"

Smolder cringed, shaking her head. "But... really, there wasn't any plot! At least, not that I could..."

"Smolder," spoke Tiamat, looking her right in the eyes. "You are a treasure among treasures. You've lived among the servants of Harmony, but you've never been seduced, never forgotten your pride as a dragon! You even joined claws with them and helped save this world from that deranged magic-thieving child.

"What's more, you come from a mighty brood... my power and favor are your birthright! So why..." There was a flicker of anguish in Tiamat's eyes. "Why would you even think of turning against *me*? Speak the truth, Smolder, and you shall not be punished. What spell, what scheme, what villain is driving you away!?"

Smolder looked down, feeling hot tears on her cheek scales... but her anger welled up again too, and this time she couldn't keep it in. "You are."

Tiamat froze. "What? ... What are you saying?" She glared at Smolder, but the young dragoness didn't back down, not an inch! "Why would you say that?!"

Smolder clenched her fists. "Because somedragon has to! Will you please actually *look* and *see* what you're doing by changing so many ponies?" she pleaded. "How afraid you're making everycreature? You're driving friends apart, family apart. Even my own friends asked me if I was gonna dump them, or force all of them to become dragons too!" She chuckled bitterly. "The funny thing is, they probably would all become dragons just on my say so, if I said it was the only way. They trust me that much..." Smolder narrowed her eyes at Tiamat. "But maybe they shouldn't."

Tiamat snorted, shaking several of her heads. "You've grown too attached to those other creatures. I'm winning a great victory for dragonkind, expanding my hoard and giving many of the ponies a mighty gift in the process... the gift of being a dragon! You'll understand, in time..." She trailed off, then spun about, fuming at the portal that had just opened, hanging suspended in the superheated air. "What now? Who *dares?*"

The portal wasn't empty, Smolder saw at once. A whole group of creatures were revealed, right on the threshold but not stepping through. Celestia and Luna stood in the forefront, each wearing ancient battle armor, glowing with potent runes. Queen Novo stood just behind them. A towering yak held their left flank, carrying some kind of mobile siege tower on his back... did the yaks have a god too? And on the right was a rugged, muscular lion-eagle griffon in golden armor. One of Gallus' stories suddenly came to mind. Could that really be Boreas!?

Boreas squinted blearily at them, yawning into his talons. "Ugh... Can we settle this quick? I'm still groggy from my nap."

Celestia smiled warmly at him, then turned towards them, looking more deadly serious than Smolder had ever seen her. "Dragon Mother Tiamat. You are about to cross a very dangerous line."

"We shall not stand idly by," said Luna frostily, "if thou continue to influence and lay claim to our ponies!"

Smolder was starting to think that she'd gotten in the middle of something she really, really shouldn't be in the middle of. As if sensing this, Tiamat scooped Smolder up and held her more closely, more securely in her arms. "You threaten me with war? HAH! I am Tiamat, mighty since this world was young! I can take you all on, and I can win!"

"At what cost?" asked Queen Novo.

The yak god snorted. "Fight too hard, and you break things you fighting for." He shook his shaggy head grimly. "No perfect victories here."

Boreas pawed at the ground, talons clenched. "So keep your greedy claws to yourself! Never thought I'd be the one saying that..."

Tiamat chuckled, then threw back her heads and roared with laughter, a chorus all by herself. "What is this? You talk as if I did something wrong. As if I was some kind of THIEF!" She slammed her tail against the ground. "Every creature who became a dragon made a choice! Some drank a potion of their own free will. Others accepted me in their hearts! They are mine! My own precious treasures!"

Another heat shimmer warped the air, bringing a two-legged avatar of Bahamut to the ryujin realm... not standing against Tiamat, but not exactly by her side, either. "Are they, though?" he calmly spoke. "They're like hatchlings with no wisdom or control, gorging themselves on gems until their bellies hurt. If they could clearly see everything they've done since they changed... would they still choose you now?"

Tiamat fumed, looking more and more furious. "They just have to learn properly, that's all! You won't force me to give up what is mine! You don't tell me what to do!" she bellowed. "You won't take my hatchlings!" Those last words were a defiant shriek, almost.

'Crap crap crap!' thought Smolder. It was all going wrong. Tiamat would tell them where to shove it, there'd be a huge war, everything was going to suck, unless...

Smolder gulped, then shouted, "Tiamat! Dragon Mother, wait, please listen!" One of Tiamat's heads shot her a look so venomous, she was sure she'd finally gone too far, that she was gonna get steamed and skinned for mouthing off to a goddess... but it was way too late to stop now!

"Look, I get it!" Smolder blurted out. "Just thinking that maybe you might have messed up a tiny little bit... It's totally lame and no dragon likes to do it, like ever! And all these puffed-up jerks, I mean, they came to your den without asking and tried to tell you what to do... who needs that?" She took a deep breath. "But if you won't make peace because of them... do it for us. For me, and my big dumb brother and Ember and all of your *loyal* dragons. This, all of this, it's not worth it!" She clasped her claws. "Please!"

Tiamat blinked slowly, still scowling. She looked at her, and then at the other gods for a long while. Finally, she exhaled. "Fine. Whatever!"

Smolder gasped, sitting up and coughing. "What?! Huh?" She was back at the game pavilion in Ponyville. Apparently, she'd fainted, and now everydragon was arguing about it.

Garble shook a fist. "I swear, if you hurt my little sis..."

"I didn't do anything!" protested Mina. "Look, see? She's waking up."

"No thanks to you!"

"SILENCE!" When Tiamat demanded silence, she got it, immediate and total. "I... HAVE ERRED."

The silence held for another few breaths, before everycreature started talking at once. Some dragons expressed wild disbelief. Many insisted that Tiamat hadn't, didn't, could do nothing wrong. Most of the ponies reacted with even more stunned silence.

"Erred?" echoed Princess Twilight. "What does that mean?!"

Princess Cadence strode through the crowd, smiling as she approached. "Believe it or not, Twily... I think we just won. Don't say that too loudly, though."

Some impulse made Shining Armor take off and fly across the crowd to hug his wife tightly, grinning up a storm. Cadence hugged her husband right back, kissing his scaly muzzle.

"DO NOT MAKE LIGHT OF THIS, OR MYSELF!" boomed the Dragon Queen. "I AM STILL TIAMAT, MIGHTIEST OF THE MIGHTY, AND YOU SHALL MOCK ME AT YOUR PERIL! HOWEVER... I HAVE TAKEN THAT WHICH I OUGHT NOT TO HAVE TAKEN. THEREFORE, RESTITUTION SHALL BE MADE."

Tiamat leaned back on her haunches and cupped her massive forepaws together. Suddenly the red and gold sparks flew out of the eyes of every single transformed dragon, zipping towards her. She gathered the sparks to her chest, then closed her fists, extinguishing them."FOR A TIME, ALL BONDS ARE SET ASIDE. EACH OF YOU, WEIGH YOUR OWN HEARTS AND PLEDGE YOURSELF ONCE AGAIN TO ME... OR TO MY HUSBAND AND KING BAHAMUT... OR, SEEK THE PONY PRINCESSES. I WILL PERMIT THEM TO TRANSFORM YOU."

With that said, Tiamat backed away from the stage, then laid her titanic form down to watch and wait.

Session 105.6 Mtangalion

In the wake of Tiamat's pronouncement, most of the new dragons were left standing stock-still, like creatures who'd just been in a train crash, slowly discovering that they were in fact unharmed and could maybe think about un-bracing themselves.

Applejack reached up with shaking claws and patted her own cheeks, and then on top of her head. "Do you know... Ah have no earthly idea where mah hat is just now?" She scratched her head fins sheepishly. "Been a long time since Ah was that drunk..."

Apple Bloom scrambled over the table to reach her, flapping her wings for a boost. "Never mind the hat! Are... are ya okay? Do ya remember what happened?"

Applejack winced. "Ah remember all of it, and Ah kinda wish Ah didn't..." She held Bloom and hoisted her up, hugging tight. "Apple Bloom, Ah am so, so sorry for those things we said!"

Big Mac cleared his throat, looking away uncomfortably. "Ah can't believe Ah wrote mah own sister off, on account of she was acting like 'a weakling pony lover.'" He hugged both of his sisters, grinning with fangs gleaming. "Maybe that's how they do things in the Dragon Lands, but it ain't the Apple way!"

Granny Smith, being older and a lot bigger, hugged all of her dragon kin all at once. "Ah think we all learned a thing or two or three."

Dragon Lord Ember felt like somecreature had punched her in the gut. The Bloodstone Scepter slipped through her suddenly numb claws, clattering onto the game table.

"Hey, you don't look so hot," said Garble, peering at her. His brows shot up. "Whoa! Are you shrinking?"

Ember blinked, realizing what was wrong. "Not if I can help it!" she snapped, grabbing the Scepter and rushing towards Tiamat. Fume and Klump were in her way, but Ember didn't care, she shoved right past them and rested her palm on a single one of Tiamat's tremendous toe claws. "Dragon Mother! I'm yours!"

"YOU ARE MINE!" roared Tiamat, speaking directly into the minds of her children. At once, Ember straightened up, her muscles surging with strength once again. "MY DRAGON LORD..." Crimson light flared from the Bloodstone Scepter, making Klump, Fizzle, and Fume fall reverently to their knees.

Ember blinked, realizing that Garble was also right behind her. "What?" she teased. "You're not even a little tempted to go to Bahamut?"

Garble snorted. "Nuh uh, you're not getting rid of me that easy!" Fizzle gawked, and Fume and Klump started sniggering. "Ugh, shut it, you guys! I'm not doing this for Ember!" He rolled his eyes. "I mean, sure, I might be used to hanging around those ponies and Spike, but he can keep that noble dragon junk! Power, treasure, and being as big as a freakin' castle someday! That's what I want!" Garble fistbumped Tiamat's claw. "So sign me up already!"

"Sure, you're in," purred Ember. Then she seized Garble and effortlessly put the struggling drake in a headlock. "If I need any creatures hugged," she whispered in his ear, "you'll be the first dragon I call."

Garble watched as Ember sauntered away. "Either this is love, or I'm totally slagged."

Smolder showed up from somewhere to give him a grin and a big claws up. "Probably both!"

Garble twitched. "Yeah, thanks so much for that, sis..."

Session 105.7 Ardashir

As a game of Dragons and Ponies played out in Ponyville, with surprising results for all involved, elsewhere other creatures were getting surprises of their own.

"Well, why NOT attack them now?" Tirek grunted as he followed Grogar down a hallway leading to the main chamber of the lair. His hooves pounded the floor, echoing off the walls as he spoke. "They're so focused on that stupid dragon game it should be easy to catch them off guard! And all the magic we saw..." Tirek licked his lips at the thought of consuming Tiamat and Bahamut's magic. "We'd be able to attack Canterlot openly after that -- Ow!"

He rubbed his aching head and returned Grogar's glare with one of his own.

"Because!" The old goat sorcerer said. "Tiamat and Bahamut have none of the weak restraint Celestia and Luna would display if we attacked them. They'd simply attack with everything they have -- including those dragons. Or have you forgotten that Tiamat sees all dragonkind as her hoard?" Grogar sneered as Tirek folded his arms over his chest with a growl. "Ignorant savage! I intend keeping on the peaceful side of the other races as we conquer Equestria. They'll ignore their pony 'friends' as long as we make no obvious attacks on them. But afterwards?" He turned away with a chuckle, his eyes glowing in the dark. "We'll conquer them, too."

"You should listen to Mister Grogar, Tirek," Cozy Glow chirped as she flapped along behind, holding on to a copy of 'Diplomacy'. She delighted in the cutthroat games of it she could play with Ira and Imago. They were better players than any of her old friends at Twilight's dumb school. "Besides, dragons and griffons and those other dumb races are a lot weaker than ponies. Dumber too." She flew up by Tirek's face, her feathers brushing his cheeks -- he flinched away in disgust, which was why she did it. "I'd never be caught off guard the way they'll be --"

A brilliant spell blast flew from the main chamber. Cozy ducked with a shriek as the blast hit her game, reducing the box to ashes. Tirek dodged aside. Grogar just frowned.

"Chrysalis, what have you seen on that human computer now?"

"Die die die!" Chrysalis blasted at Rabia. The Umbrum mare dodged the blasts and laughed. Even Tirek winced at the sound of her laughter, like rusty nails dragged down a slate. "Those humans -- that stupid 'World of Horsecraft' -- after we enslave Equestria and I destroy that traitor Thorax I'll enslave them next for this insult!"

She froze as Grogar seized her with his magic.

"What 'insult', you fool?" Grogar turned to the stolen computer as Chrysalis pointed at the screen, too furious to even speak. Tirek and Cozy joined him as he looked.

It showed a bipedal and, ahem, voluptuous Chrysalis embracing an equally bipedal stallion, with both surrounded by dozens of Changeling nymphs. Everyone gazed at each other adoringly.

"Not a fan of this sickening mush?" Grogar laughed as he released Chrysalis. "I thought you delighted in being the target of the lust of foolish males."

"It's not that, Chrysalis snarled and aimed a magic blast at the computer. Only Grogar's eyebrow cocked in warning made her desist. "It's them showing me as some loving parent or mate. Giving, sharing, sacrificing for others, UGH!" She shuddered. "And the name they use for the art -- why would I even wear leather pants, anyway?"

Session 105.8 Mtangalion

At some point, an avatar of Bahamut had arrived, standing regally in the game pavilion on the far side of the table from Queen Tiamat. Mina approached him now, bowing down with the Tidescale Staff in her claws.

"King Bahamut," she began, a bit nervous and unsure at first. "I was taught to honor you because, well... that's what my father did, and my grandfather, and lots and lots of dragons before them." Mina lifted the staff, presenting it to him. "Now, though... I want to keep this, to secure what we've built in Dragon Town! And to teach every dragon who wants to learn what being a noble dragon is all about!"

Bahamut smiled warmly. "If you would teach... then here are your students." He gestured grandly, and a portal opened, revealing all of Dragon Town beyond. "Go to them with my blessing, Dragon Sage."

Mina squealed, doing a little midair dance. "Thank you! I... I'll do my best!"

Spike chuckled, watching. "Wow, a whole city? And I thought setting up the Friendship Gaming Academy was a lot of work!"

Mina grinned and surprised Spike by hugging the stuffing out of him. "Thank you too, for everything! Come visit soon, okay?" She gave him a peck on the cheek, then darted through the portal, which swiftly closed behind her.

There was a soft clopping of hooves, and a delicate throat clearing. "My word," said Rarity Belle. "You certainly have matured in these past few weeks... Spike." She stepped closer, inspecting his new taller form with obvious appreciation. "And so suddenly, too!"

"Yeah, tell me about it." Spike got a sudden sly grin. "I can't wait to write Gabby a letter and tell her the whole story!"

Rarity blinked, lashes fluttering. "Gabby?" She frowned. "Do you by chance mean Miss Gabriella, that griffon girl who had some business with Sweetie and the other Crusaders?"

Spike beamed. "Yeah! Did I mention that we've been pen-pals for a while now?"

"Really, darling," mused Rarity, but she was already getting a crafty look of her own.

Spike started towards her, then paused, remembering Bahamut nearby. "Hey! Um... am I supposed to pledge to one of you guys? Or both?"

Bahamut arched a brow. "An excellent question! In times past, the Heathspike has been blessed by both Tiamat and myself, swearing himself to neither. You may do the same, young one."

"UNLESS," said the voice of Tiamat in Spike's head, "YOU WISH TO CHANGE THAT. CHOOSE A SIDE, TIP THE BALANCE..." There was eager anticipation in Tiamat's words, naked greed, even... she might literally promise him the world. Even Bahamut seemed to lean forward, hanging on Spike's every word.

Spike gulped. "Actually... I'm good! Yeah, let's keep things just the way they are!"

Prince Button Mash watched the milling crowd, all the heartfelt apologies and creatures lining up to be transformed, and then he looked back at his empty game table with increasing frustration. "We're not done here until SOMEBODY plays my O&O campaign!"

Session 105.9 Mtangalion

In the courtyard of the Palace of Canterlot, Prince Blueblood was pacing in front of a crowd of sheepish and chagrined young dragons. "I should also point out that Canterlot fire codes are very strict. There are substantial fines for operating a lava bath within the city, without expensive safety precautions and yearly inspection!"

Jet Set turned to glare at Upper Crust, who chuckled nervously, twisting her tail in her claws.

Blueblood cleared his throat loudly. "Furthermore, gentledrakes and gentledrakainas, as dragons of Tiamat, you will naturally be subject to the absolute authority of Dragon Lord Ember. It wouldn't surprise me if Lord Ember commanded each of you to spend ten... nay, twenty, perhaps even thirty years living exclusively in the Dragon Lands, learning how to be a proper dragon and not embarrassing Queen Tiamat any further!"

"Thirty years!?" shrieked Countess Silver Filigree.

"A small portion of a dragon's lifespan," Blueblood was quick to point out. "Of course, being away from the capitol for such an extended period, and subject to a foreign power... I'm not entirely certain whether you would retain your titles of nobility. I suppose that's a question for the lawyers, though."

Most of the young dragons exchanged panicked glances, then turned and stampeded into the palace. "Princess Celestia, please change us back!" cried one of them. "We beg of you!" shouted another. "Forgive us, majesties!"

Duke Brass Tax stayed behind, clenching a clawed fist. "I can't believe you all fell for that! Cowards! Weaklings! Fools!!" He flexed, grinning. "A long life with endless riches and more power than any pony... no one's taking that away from me! It's mine... MINE, I SAY!" His fine garments, already frayed and ripped from being worn over a dragon's scales, burst to shreds as he grew out them, snarling and stamping and roaring!

"Greed growth!" shouted a spotter in one of the castle towers. Half a dozen Royal Guards immediately ponypiled the duke, pelting him with blunt weapons and frost spells until he fell unconscious and shrank back down.

Prince Blueblood tugged his lapels smugly. "It appears my work here is done." He turned to trot away, and bumped into Discord, who had silently appeared floating behind him.

"Oh Bluey, Bluey!" Discord cupped Blueblood's face and pinched his cheeks. "I had such delightfully deviously chaotic plans for Canterlot." Mismatched eyes narrowed. "All scuttled, thanks to you."

Blueblood gave him a weary look. "Oh yes, I'm such a disappointment. You should undo my wolfpony curse and find some other pony to play with."

Discord blinked, setting Blueblood down and drawing back. "But, that's no fun." He grinned suddenly, snapping his fingers. "Instead, why don't I tell those eager female diamond wolves where you live? I could send them a claw-written invitation from you... and some train tickets!" He conjured up exactly those items and waved them just out of the prince's reach before vanishing them up a nonexistent sleeve. "Better stock up that secret meat freezer of yours." He vanished in a puff of sparkles, but his voice continued after he'd gone. "Ta-ta!"

Prince Blueblood smiled through gritted teeth... which had fangs more befitting a thestral than a unicorn pony. "Ah, the burdens of nobility."

Session 105.10 Alex Warlorn (based upon my own bungle in Legends of Grimrock.)

"Now that... MOST OF US are back to normal..." Twilight, once again having traded with Spike behind the OO screen, glared at Rainbow Dash.

"Hey, Scoots can fly as a dragon whelp, so until Bulk Biceps bothers to teach her how to fly with tiny wings like he does, I'm staying like this too... and it helps with my custody claim on Scootaloo."

Rainbow Dash and Applejack had naturally spent hours upon hours apologizing to their dear friends for how they had acted while under Ember's unwittingly command that had opened the doors wide open to Tiamat's spiritual-pressure. And naturally for twisting their Elements of Loyalty and Honesty (they had lost the Elements before, and they'd gotten them back stronger than ever... besides, they still had the Rainbow Power versions of the Elements so it was kinda silly to think they no longer had the Elements).

"There was nothin' Honest about switching around one truth for truth... Spike's honest about bein' a dragon and he never acted like that... beside Spikezilla."

"Gee, thanks," Spike mumbled.

"And ... yeah, conflicting loyalties and everything, been there, done that, nothing loyal about being a bully to my friends."

This was gotten the obligatory group hug... and the expected restitutions for the damage they'd done to Twilight's castle eating parts of it whenever they felt hungry.

"Are we going to have to spend time in the friendship dungeon?" Rainbow asked.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "The only Dungeon worth talking about is the one your characters are in... since you demanded a pure dungeon crawl hack-and-slash, and since we're already partially through it, we might as well finish it..."

"Twilight that trap-door puzzle was torture," Rarity said matter of fact.

"Maybe I was venting a little... but I won't retcon my dungeon once the adventure has started... that is a sign of a weak OO. So, you've recovered both keys, and can now enter the next level of the dungeon... which is a large empty space."

"Trap." All the ponies and dragon said together.

But without much choice, they inched along... seeing a massive Ogre storming around the dark level, not having seen the heroes.

"Ah don't know if we're level enough to take that on," AJ said.

"Knowing Twilight, we're supposed to out smart it or avoid it," Spike said.

And three giant spider appeared around them, just appeared, no teleportation, no switch triggered, they just appeared.

Cries of 'not fair' and 'cheater' cried out and the heroes beat a hasty retreat.

The heroes decided to try and whittle away the Ogre's health... the arrow from AJ's ranger didn't even scratch damage. Instead, it roared and bull-rushed them, forcing them to retreat.

And when they returned, they found the Ogre waiting right at the bottom of the steps for them... over, and over, and over.

"TWILIGHT THIS ISN'T FAIR!" Fluttershy protested.

"That so?" Twilight said simply, her face icily calm. "You're the ones who provoked an enemy into a confined space with you after you acknowledged you were no match for it... "

The players cringed.

Rarity sighed. "And since AJ and Rainbow Dash insisted we make our characters proper for a 'buck in the door' adventure... we don't have any non-combat oriented skills or spells to get passed it."

AJ and RD sighed. "Sorry."

"Kamakazi our characters at the Ogre and go back into the dungeon with their heirs to avenge them with a more rounded team?" Spike suggested.

Rainbow Dash shrugged. "Well, AJ and me did design our characters and role played them as battle hungry blood knights, so yeah, they'd be in character."

Session 105.11 Alex Warlorn (continued from real life)

What the players found however... was the Ogre had indeed wandered off a few feet away... and that the giant spider when they did indeed teleport in, left a space for the player's party to to avoid being cornered if they acted fast enough... The giant spider one-on-one were easy enough... them came the Ogre... they were reduced to riding a crazy merry-go-round as they tagged the Ogre as it relentlessly followed them, and they used this to their advantage... it took a long time, both in and out of game... but the Ogre fell... then the ponies found out that was only the BEGINNING of the dungeon level... and they'd also meet fire elementals in fireproof armor soon enough...

Session 104.12 Mtangalion

Another group of embarrassed young dragons filed into the tent that Cadence had set up. There was a brilliant flash of magic from within, and soon the same number of ponies filed out again, most with an extra spring in their step. Ponyville was slowly returning to normal, about a dozen creatures at a time.

Scootaloo swooped over the crowd, thoroughly enjoying herself. She'd been a huge jerk to her friends and she'd be doing a ton of apologizing, true, but that was no reason to give up being an awesome dragon, or a fully-functional pair of wings! Her sharp eyes immediately picked out one particular pegasus colt in the group. "Hah! I knew it!"

"Shut up," said Rumble. He took off and tried to hurry away back home.

Scoots darted in front of him, pointing a claw at the symbol on his flanks: a mysterious-looking pyramid with an eye on top. "You got a cultist leader cutie mark! I totally called it!"
Rumble facehoofed. "I said shut up!"

Inside the tent, Princess Cadence gulped from a bottle of water, groaning and massaging around her horn. "Twilight was making this look easy..." When she heard the tent flap rustle again, Cadence forced a smile and called out, "I'll be ready in just a moment!"

Then she looked up and gasped, nearly dropping the bottle. "Shiny!" He'd finally come to her, alone...

Shining Armor grinned sheepishly. "So... I've decided. Make me a pony again, Cady."

Cadence rushed to embrace her husband, sleek silver scales and all. "Are... are you sure?"

Shining hugged her tight. "This all started because I was worried that I'd never become an Alicorn, but I definitely won't if I'm not a pony to begin with. Besides, if I'm going to pledge myself to any goddess... it should be the one I already gave my heart to."

Outside the tent, waiting dragons heard an ear-piercing "SQUEE!!" And a pink hoof hastily hung a "Back in fifteen minutes" sign on the tent entrance, before once again vanishing inside.

"Thank you SO much for sticking around to play my game!" said Prince Button Mash. "You guys are gonna win at everything for a while!"

"Oh really, now?" purred Diamond Tiara, who was also still a dragoness. She shared a sly grin with Smolder beside her. "You're allowed to do that?"

Button nodded excitedly. "It was super-easy, barely an inconvenience!" He lowered his voice and jerked a hoof towards Twilight's group, sitting around the other end of the pavilion's game table. "I just gave you all of *their* good rolls."

Right on cue, Rainbow Dash roared "Oh, come on! Natural one again!??"

Twilight gave Dash the Dragon a flat stare, seeming unbothered by the burning embers in her mane. "You successfully climb out of the pit trap and fall into another pit three feet away." She rolled a D20 twice and winced. "It's... full of treasure-eating slime."

Diamond shrugged it off and looked across the table at Doctor Whooves. "So, what kind of dragon did you turn into?"

"Hmm?" The peculiar earth pony inventor grinned broadly. "Oh, no kind. It wouldn't have worked on me anyway."

Derpy sighed. "I wondered what kind I'd be, but the nice dragons at the potion store wouldn't sell me any." She nudged a die, sulking... and the die somehow skipped across the table, bumping into a bunch of other dice and causing ALL of them to come up twenty.

"Whoa..." She rolled the dice again and got all twenties a second time.

"Now now," said the Doctor. "Save some good fortune for the actual game!"

Smolder turned the page in a booklet describing Button's game setting, her brow furrowing. "What game?" She waved her character sheet. "It looks like we're all geared up to go talk politics and junk. Does my countess even have a sword?"

Button leaned and whispered, "There's going to be a fancy dress ball."

Smolder's eyes grew wide. "Really?! I mean..." She coughed into a fist. "I suppose I can put up with it."

Session 104.12 Mtangalion

While Cadence's tent still had a good-sized crowd of dragons waiting their turn to become ponies again, and Tiamat's brood was partying at her feet like only dragons could, the line to speak with the avatar of Bahamut was a lot shorter. As in, currently just one pony. That was just as well, since otherwise Filthy Rich would have been holding the line up, asking the Dragon King all sorts of questions.

"Good one, your majesty!" Mr. Rich chuckled politely. "You almost had me believing you for a second, there."

Bahamut blew a lazy smoke ring, his bemused grin unchanged.

Mr. Rich blinked. "You're serious. Dragon Town uses *steel coins* for money?!"

"To avoid the temptations of unchecked greed, they think it best to deposit their gems and precious metals at my temple. At the bank, that is." Bahamut lifted a paw, flicking his claws in a sort of shrug. "Of course, you would only be subject to such laws if you lived in Dragon Town. And if you chose to become a dragon, of course."

Mr. Rich dabbed his brow with a hoofkerchief. "That's, ah... not really my interest, your majesty, no offense. I'm looking for new, untapped markets." He stood taller, getting into his sales pitch. "We use different currencies, but there's exchanges, aren't there? And Dragon Towners enjoy the comforts of civilization, just like ponies do!"

"When they are sufficiently fireproofed." Bahamut peered at him thoughtfully. "Would you indulge *me* in a question, Sir Rich? You're very focused on gathering wealth and power, yet at no time did you seek to pledge to my Queen. Why?"

"Because that ain't how I do business," said Mr. Rich, shaking his head. "I'm no thief! I make fair trades and I play by the rules."

Bahamut grinned sharply. "Are you quite certain that you don't harbor a secret wish to join my children? Your daughter seems quite taken with being a dragon."

Mr. Rich blinked, seeming shaken. "She hasn't changed back yet? We need to have a little family discussion about that. If you'll excuse me..."

Session 104.13 Alex Warlorn

Inspired by this beauty.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beqqaXUrtWU (Terrifying video game AI in PUBG - Terminator)

Vice President Chrysalis said proudly, "So, the servers for our new game, Bikinis and Bazookas launched right on time!"

"I'm still worried this game might... damage our image," Radiant Hope said.

"Don't worry, we're releasing a Speedos and Stinger-missiles expansion once the profits for this game come in."

"That isn't... quiet what I meant."

"Just wait until I have the Bots ready!" Lead Programmer Discord said.

"Actually, since you were so busy, we had a third party take care of that."

"HUH?! Who?"

"Some group called Flim and Flam Reliable And Stable Programming."

Discord went pale. "You... hired...WHO?"

The Shadowbolts plus Sci-Twi stood in the virtual desert on the same 'team', wearing swim suits that Indigo Zap had already paid good money for the cosmetic items, armed with heavy weapons far above their weight class.

And the bot not thirty feet from them... shooting at them and still missing, began to walk in circles, seemingly trying to shoot itself, and somehow still failing spectrally... It did manage to pump full of lead an outhouse doodad on the landscape with some of Sugarcoat's drones floating right next to it.

"At least the PvP works fine," Indigo Zap offered.

"Yes, you get the idea that they hired out of house with the bots," Sugarcoat said.

"I don't see what the problem," Soursweet smiled. "FREE KILL POINTS!" She snapped, putting the poor bot out of its misery. "Let's rack up the kills before they patch it out! We're going bot hunting!"

Session 104.14 Mtangalion

Starlight Glimmer pulled back the curtain flap and winced. "Well, here's your problem." Inside, Princess Cadence and the restored Shining Armor were blissfully sound asleep, and not looking likely to wake anytime soon. "I'll just do a quick one-time bypass on their anti-foalnapping wards, and..." Both royal ponies vanished in a teleport flash.

Carrot Top faceclawed. "Well, that's just great! Who's going to turn us back into ponies now?"

Starlight gave her a half-lidded glare. "Gee, if only the most magically gifted unicorn in all Equestria was right here in front of you. Oh wait, she is!"

"I am?" asked Trixie, over by the game table. She'd been making some of the party snacks vanish into her hat for later.

Starlight ignored her and fired a turquoise bolt at Carrot Top, which surrounded her in an aura which quickly popped like a soap bubble, instantly restoring her to pony form. "You're welcome."

Starlight did a quick count of the remaining dragons who wanted to be ponies again, then conjured a single blazing orb that fired turquoise bolts in all directions. Soon, elated ponies were cantering joyfully, high-hoofing each other and hugging friends and relatives.
One of those ponies... an overweight green earth pony with a bluish-gray mane... was oddly familiar, even though Starlight could have sworn she'd never seen him before. Had she zapped someone who was supposed to be a dragon by mistake? "Excuse me, sir? Wait..." She did a double-take. "Sludge?!"

"Haha, I'm free!" shouted Sludge, prancing in circles. "No more Tiamat in my head! No more Dragon Lord bossing me around!"

Starlight lifted a hoof. "Are... you sure you want to be a pony, Sludge? I have a feeling you might have some regrets in a few years."

"Nonsense! I'm free to do whatever I want!" Sludge struck a pose. "Why, I might move to a big city! Get a job! Write a novel! Go on an adventure!"

Starlight noted that Sludge's new cutie mark was a comfy feather pillow. "Uh huh, let me know how that works out for you." She trotted away, looking over the crowd of celebrating ponies. "Looks like my work here is done. Turning creatures *back* into ponies is so boring, though..." She cleared her throat. "Hey! Does any creature want to be a griffon or whatever while Twilight's not here to say no?"

Twist waved a small hoof over her head. "Ooh, can I be a snow wolf like Pavel and Scruff?" She could barely pronounce 'Scruff' through her lisp, but she did her best.

Starlight blinked. "Interesting choice, but sure, why not?" One zap later, a happily yipping wolf pup was rolling in a patch of snow that other ponies slowly backed away from.
"Ooh!" cried Lyra. "I want to be..."

"No humans!" said Starlight quickly.

"... a hippogriff!"

Starlight grinned. "Easy peasy!"

Predictably, Lyra geeked out over her finger-talons, then launched herself skyward, doing midair cartwheels.

"Lyra!" shouted an exasperated Bon Bon. She gave Starlight a dirty look. "Me too, so I can catch her before she gets in trouble."

Starlight was still watching the hippogriffs chase each other across the skies of Ponyville when Future Alicorn Starlight popped into existence beside her. "Looks like my work here is done."

Unicorn Starlight blinked. "Um, did you even do anything?"

Alicorn Starlight rolled her eyes. "What do you mean, did I do anything? I fixed Discord's paradox! Flim and Flam convinced Granny Smith that the dragon potion was a health tonic, and she baked it into an apple pie. There was never any secret kirin clan."

Unicorn Starlight took a step back, alarmed. "What!? You can't just retroactively undo a retroactive change! Remember what happened before!"

"Hey, who's the Alicorn of Time here? I did the math!" She conjured a blackboard on a pivoting wooden frame. "Wanna see?"

Unicorn Starlight smirked. "As much as we love showing off how smart we are... I think I'll pass. I'll work it out later, right?"

"You do, yes." Alicorn Starlight vanished the chalkboard again. "All critical path destinies are restored, Twilight's friends are ponies again..."

"Except for Rainbow Dash."

"Yes, except for... Wait, what did you say?" Alicorn Starlight lit her horn, seeming to frown at something in the far distance. Then her eyes shrank to pinpricks.

Unicorn Starlight groaned. "Now what? What did we do?"

"Nothing!" yelped Future Starlight. "I totally didn't mess up the future a thousand years from now! There's still *plenty* of time to fix it!" She trotted in place frantically. "I really must be going. Don't do anything I didn't already do in the past! Bye!"

"I suppose I could travel to the future to help her fix this." Starlight considered this for a while. "What am I thinking? That is *literally* future Starlight's problem. All present Starlights in favor of going out for ice cream?" She raised her hoof. "The motion carries!"

Session 104.15 Alex Warlorn

Apple Bloom sat in Princess Twilight's office... with the Elements of Harmony taking on more and more jobs and roles lately... Apple Bloom was beginning to notice the cracks in Equestria's heroes. Like some cosmic force was bullying them into taking on more hours in their day then there were hours in the day... But that wasn't why she was here.

"Princess Twilight... why did Cozy Glow do what she did?"

"Huh? To take over Equestria! That was fairly obvious!" Twilight went back to her frantic desk work. "Which is why we need to be prepared for whatever she and Tirek are planning! Now that we know they escaped Tartarus!"

Apple Bloom shook her head. "That ain't what what'da meant! When Diamond Tiara starting bullying me for not having a cutie mark... even though Silver Spoon got hers FIRST... Ah thought she was doin' it just to be a bully... Then Ah found out about Spoiled Rich... It's just... We never learned ANYTHING about her! She's a PONY! Not some ancient evil from a thousand years ago! How the heck did she turn out that way?! Did ya ever meet her parents? What did she write up on her paper work when she joined the school?"

Twilight's jaw dropped...her eyes became pinpricks... "Her... parents?" 'Why... why the Tartarus did I never ONCE think about that?!'

-

Cozy Glow covered one eye cried out.

"You okay?!" Little princess Ira of the Umbrum asked.

"... I feel... like somepony just stripped away some of my mystique!"

"OH! You mean while when some 'anti-changeling magic' forces you back into your true shape even though you'd come up with a perfect cover story to infiltrate that stupid school and then you had to run away before you even started?" Princess Imago asked.

"... Uh... Maybe?" Answered she destined to rule pony kind with an iron hoof, a child of a fiend and a diamond jackal queen.

-

Apple Bloom went on. "Ah mean... Fluttershy redeemed DISCORD... Ah used to have nightmares what he did to me and my friends... now he's our friend. It seems kinda weird ya didn't try to have Fluttershy help redeem her too!"

Twilight opened and closed her mouth, but could find no logical response.

-

"AGH!" Cozy Glow clutched her chest like she was having a heart attack.

"NOW WHAT?!"

"It's like somepony out there... knowing I'm pure evil, STILL wants to 'redeem' me that those ponies are obsessed with!"

"That's pretty precise..." Ira said rather weirded out.

-

"Twilight... is it wrong Ah feel... bad that Ah accepted Cozy Glow was evil when Sandbar and the others told us? Ah mean, we had no reason to believe them, and we were closer to Cozy Glow than to them... but we still just accepted it licktey split... Ah feel like we were right for the wrong reasons."

"Apple Bloom, she manipulate you like she did everypony else."

"We didn't know that then. And even if she wasn't our friend, we were her friends."

-

"MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!" Cozy Glow screamed, now tied down to her bed as her body twisted in agony, drenched in sweat.

Prince Vordul meanwhile, was playing on his Gamecolt Pony Zombie Pummel XIV, Hercules van Beetle once again pummeling zombie ponies... his mom had bought up the rights since the game series was suddenly considered 'politically incorrect' by the mutant traitor scum changeling, and had ensued her son's favorite video game series continued to be produced. He was also wearing headphones so he didn't have to listen to Cozy Glow wails of agony.

"Mommy... do you not like being motherly to me?" The toddler changeling princess, Pupa, and the last of Chrysalis' three 'royal spawn' asked after hearing her mother complain of the other world's artists making her look motherly.

Chrysalis gently stroked Pupa, who had finally emerged from her larval stage. "Remember, mommy endures all that and more for most precious babies. Remember, I'm looking forward to the time when, after all ponykind are our obedient love batteries as they were always destined to be, you three assassinate me, then immediately turn on each other so only one of you rules, tearing down half the kingdom in the process, spending the first couple years of your reign repairing the damage from the succession war, and then repeat the cycle with your own grubs, mommy will be so proud you." Chrysalis said in the most cooing, sweetly voice imaginable that left Tirek and Grogar staring at her bewildered.

"You're not parents, you wouldn't understand," Rabia remarked. Cozy Glow continued to scream. "UGH! Somepony gag the brat!"

-

"And that's why I think if we'd spotted her evil plans ahead of time, we could have saved her from herself," Sweetie Belle explained.

-

"F... F... F...finally!" Cozy Glow gasped, he pain settling at last.

-

"And here are some friendship picture we drew with her before we knew she was evil."

-

"NOT AGAIN!" Cozy Glow screamed the agony returning full force. She and Ira continued to work out their plan to exploit Grogar's original bell for their own evil plan between cries of agony.

"I never thought I'd hear something so satisfying," Mean Twilight said, distantly reading over their shoulders while being treated like a piece of furniture.

"Would be better if it was coming out of Chrysalis' mouth!" said Mean Dash.

"No it wouldn't," Mean AJ remarked.

-

Future Alicorn Starlight exasperated. "But seriously! JUST TEACH SCOOOTALOO TO LIKE YOU CAN ALREADY!"

Bulk Biceps cringed. "You don't need to shout it so loud!"

"Yes I do! The fabric of the space time continuum depends on it!" Then her pager went off. "Hmmm... Best check up on her."

-

Future Alicorn Starlight teleported in the room of the cabal of Daring Do, Maternal Love-Tap, and Bon-Bon. Daring Do was on the floor with a broken leg.

"Ahuizotl's 'good guy' brainwashing finally break down?" She asked casually.

Daring Do nodded."Yep... He sure rejected those good memories HARD..."

Session 104.16 Alex Warlorn one line by Mtangalion

Wallflower said, "I don't get why all those dungeon masters broke down in tears and stopped DMing after playing with me."

Sunset asked, "Did you... use the memory stone to keep erasing events until you were able to win the adventure in seconds?"

"Yeah, sure, I figured that would be a great way to get people to like me."

"Wallflower! They spent days, weeks, months, memorizing a module or creating it from scratch! And you beat it in a couple minutes from their point of view?! They don't get to experience your triumphs or failures with you? You just step in and win? You DESTROYED THEM! You made a mockery of all their hardwork, and trivialized everything they prepared for you! They aren't video game characters for you to abuse an New Game Plus on!"

"But, my plan to defeat Nightmare Moon with dirty limericks..."

"If you've played an adventure to that point Wallflower... it's time to find a new one. You're going to get a bad reputation as a campaign breaker, and no one will want to play with you."

"Not if I erase their memories!"

Sunset admonished."Wallflower."

"Joking!"

Author's Note

Session 104.0 Alex Warlorn
Session 104.1 Mtangalion Alex Warlorn
Session 104.2 Mtangalion
Session 104.3 Mtangalion
Session 104.4 Mtangalion
Session 104.5 Mtangalion
Session 104.6 Mtangalion
Session 104.7 Ardashir
Session 104.8 Mtangalion
Session 104.9 Mtangalion
Session 104.10 Alex Warlorn (based upon my own bungle in Legends of Grimrock.)
Session 104.11 Alex Warlorn
Session 104.12 Mtangalion
Session 104.13 Alex Warlorn
Session 104.14 Mtangalion
Session 104.15 Alex Warlorn
Session 104.16 Alex Warlorn one line by Mtangalion

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php…

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?
What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Art by by XeviousGreenII, used with permission.

MLP FIM copyright Hasbro.

Cover art by AlexSavenije

Session 106

Session 106.0 Alex Warlorn

"So I think with adjustment to the world mirror, we can open a portal again to mirror-Equestria, and possibly cure your King Sombra of his corruption!" Princess Twilight said as she and Celestia played chess.

"Thank you Twilight... as ruler of Equestria, I was cursed to never find true love, because of all of my duties and responsibilities, and...Twilight? Where did she go?"

--

In the human world, thanks to his mom knowing karate, Flash Sentry was enjoying Equestrian Warriors: Age of Grogar, that starts out with a new character going back in time to try and create a better timeline (but the villain took advantage of this too).

"It's basically the Shorts saga from Dragon Egg Z all over again!" Flash Sentry said as his Shining Armor character hacked and slashed through the 1552nd goblin that level.

There was a knock on the door.

"Mom, I promise I'll get to... Twilight?" Indeed, it was his Princess Twilight, not the one native to this universe.

"Hi Flash... I've got a free collage scholarship for you to consider."

"WHAT?" Flash exclaimed.

"A collage scholarship, completely paid...uh, in Equestria."

"I'm... not sure anything I learn there will help me here..."

"I did some research... and you'd be surprised how musical and military theory are effectively the same! Just the names are different! You could learn there, and apply everything you learn here no problem..."

"My parents..."

"We have computers now. Thanks to something called an electronics store. You can tell them you're studying overseas, and STILL be able to keep in contact with them!"

Twilight felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked to see a woman with blue hair ask, "Are you that foreign royalty who has a crush on my son who looks like the school science girl that he's always talking about when he doesn't think I'm listening?"

"Uh...yes?"

"...I was wondering when my son was FINALLY going to introduce you!"

Flash Sentry shrank away some. "Uh, sorry mom."

"I'm guessing this scholarship is your way of him spending more time with you in your country so you can get closer?"

Twilight blushed deep red, trapped. "Uh...yes?"

"... It was kinda obvious Twilight..." Flash said.

"So, um, is that a problem?"

"Is it one of those secular collages?"

"... No. We have a firm belief in divinity." Twilight said with a straight face.

"Well then, I'll tell your father and First Base that you've found a collage to go to after graduation!"

As the grown woman skipped away, Flash turned to Twilight. "You know she's looking forward to bragging her son married into royalty."

"...My mom did the exact same thing when my brother got married..."

"Ya know...I really should tour this collage you have in mind before I say yes..." Flash said firmly.

Twilight said calmly, "Alright... We just saved Equestria from everypony getting turned into stereotypical dragons, so we shouldn't have to worry about the next big evil thing for a while..."

"At least you didn't say it was a nudist school."

"Hey, I've visited here enough times to not be THAT stupid, even if I still think that taboo is weird."

"Humans don't have heat cycles."

-

Ahuizotl had no idea how he knew where to go, the immortal harbinger of destruction only felt a calling, as if similar things attract similar things... it disgusted him that Daring Do's other enemies had apparently LIKED who'd they become under Starlight Glimmer's brainwashing (and they called him a monster) and had chosen not to join him in revenge.

What he hadn't expected to find the oldest evils in the history of Equestria waiting for him.

"Welcome Ahuizotl, you're just in time to help bring destruction and chaos upon the world..." Grogar boomed.

"... I couldn't ask for better company!"

The Anti-Crusaders (Cozy Glow's idea for their name) grinned at each other, the Bell in their possession, and the book on how to use it, thinking of just the right moment to make their power grab. Behind the Anti-Crusaders, the Mean Six clones grinned at pouch containing the bell, rebellion and revenge on the whole dang world that had done nothing but mistreat them and abandon them on their minds.

Session 106.1 Mtangalion

“Princess Twilight Sparkle.” Grogar chuckled, then indulged in a full-throated evil laugh. “How does it feel to look upon the ruin of all you hold dear, knowing that you are responsible?”

Twilight struggled against her bonds, but the conjured plunder vines only drew tighter, thorns digging in. “No…”

“Yes!” crowed Queen Chrysalis, leering over the bound Alicorn. “So very much yes!” In the distance, defeated changelings were being lined up to have the love and rainbow colors literally sucked out of them, and the expanding ranks of her soldiers were covering the entire Friendship Castle in changeling slime to make it their new hive.

No pony in Ponyville was spared… half of the citizens already wore King Sombra’s mind control helmets, and most of the foals were being fitted with slave collars and inducted into the New Storm Army, with Cozy Glow as the Storm King’s new general.

Twilight didn’t see what happened next, because Lord Tirek seized her in one hand and stole every drop of her magic with one long indrawn breath. “Such power!” he proclaimed. “I could have it all… take the magic from even my supposed allies and rule supreme!” He frowned, blinking. “Wait… Why didn’t I do that months ago? Why aren’t I doing that now?!”

Grogar snorted. “If you enjoyed your freedom to act against me, then you shouldn’t have accepted the gift of my magic when we first met!” Ignoring Tirek’s howls of protest, he turned to Bray. “Tell Chrysalis that she can have the princess for her pods now. She’s of no further use to me.”

“You can’t,” whispered Twilight, barely able to voice even that much of a complaint now. “Friendship… won’t let us down… It can’t end like this!”

Grogar smiled cruelly. “Can’t it? Truthfully… you were not at all prepared. You never stood a chance.”

Everything slowly faded to grayscale, and tarnished bronze letters materialized, reading “THE END”

Then the “camera” drew back and slowly descended, putting Prince Button Mash in frame… like a game transitioning from a cutscene to player-controlled action, only the game was already lost, no action to take.

“What?” breathed Button Mash. He slapped his cheeks with his hooves. “WHAT!?” He dashed here and there, but the scene was frozen, all except for him. “What just happened? How did we lose? We didn’t even do anything yet!” He blinked, then gasped. “That means… this is just a flash forward Chapter Zero! I can change this!”

“CAN YOU!?” A warp gate flashed open, and a stallion strode out of it, his crimson cloak a shocking splash of color in the gray world. “Grogar wasn’t wrong. He spent the better part of a year preparing for war. All the time Equestria could have used to get ready to face the true enemy…” The mysterious stallion stomped forward, overshadowing Button. “... they spent playing games instead!”

Button Mash stood his ground. “S- so?! Don’t talk about games like they’re bad! Games are fun, and super awesome, and they bring ponies… all kinds of creatures… together in friendship!” A light bulb literally flashed above his head, like a two-frame sprite animation. “Wait a minute… We spend all our time playing games… If this was a game instead of real life… we totally could have won!”

Button trotted forward to strike a dramatic pose, then looked back over his shoulder. “So are you gonna help or just stand there… Future Grownup Me!?”

The mysterious stallion started chuckling, then tossed the cloak aside dramatically, revealing himself to indeed be a mighty Alicorn stallion with Button Mash’s colors, wearing way-cool barding with neon traced highlights. His mane flowed, glittering with fleeting symbols and powerup icons. “I usually go by Prince Isthmia in my time… but today I am at your service, Colt Me!”

Prince Isthmia put on a suddenly serious Wise Mentor expression. “Be warned… If you do this, you cannot aid your friends directly. We are the Spirit of Gaming. In any true game, there is a way to win, but the game must be fair.”

Button Mash gulped, then nodded. “Any chance to win is better than this.”

Prince Isthmia knelt down. “Then touch your horn to mine, and let us begin.”

The two Alicorns bowed their heads, touching the tips of their horns together, and power began to flow to the colt, turning his mane flowing as well. The “THE END” sign shook, then shattered apart, pieces flying back together to spell out “GAME OVER … load saved game Y/N?” A white glove cursor manifested and clicked the Y. The sound of a great bell tolled backwards, and in mere moments, time wound back to before the disastrous loss, and a digital timer began to tick up from 00:00

“I have the weirdest feeling,” mused young Button Mash, as they hovered outside of the Final Level, maintaining the game world. “Kinda like I’ve seen this someplace before.”

Grownup Button Mash beamed. “Perhaps you have. Somewhere, some maybe-when? A thousand years from now, give or take?” He winked. “I’d mark it on my calendar if I was you!”

Kendell2 106.2

"...I think we need to set up an encounter," said present Button, tapping his chin as he remembered everything from those Crystalsoft games. Unlike most gamers, he DID pay attention to the credits, very close attention.

"Oh?" asked his future self with a raised eyebrow.

"If that game is right, then Sombra had to choose between his love and his mom a thousand years ago, and even if things aren't exactly right, they got all the other villains right..." he said. "But the credits of those games are Sombra and Radiant Hope working together.... Can we see them?"

"Every game desire has debug mode," said his future self, the two now looking at the human world Sombra and his wife...happy, successful, and awaiting their new child.

"...I think I know what we can set up to beat King Sombra," Button said with a 'checkmate' smirk. "...But we need to set up a way for him to see THIS. The question is how?"

Mtangalion 106.3

“Twilight!” called a familiar mare’s voice. “Are you up yet?”

Twilight Sparkle groaned, squirming beneath warm and comfortable silk bedsheets. “Ugh, too early…”

“Twilight, dear, you’re going to be late!” Unicorn magic grasped the bedroom curtains and drew them wide open. “You don’t want to be late, especially not today of all days!”

“Mom!” protested Twilight, flinching away from the sunlight. Then she froze as that sunk in. “Mom!?” She threw the covers aside, sitting up. “What are you doing in my… castle?”

It *was* Twilight’s mother, wearing a regal gown and smiling warmly at her daughter, but Twilight’s castle… this place certainly was not. The bedroom was enormous, walls, floor, and ceiling all made from a familiar rough-hewn wood. “Is this… the Golden Oak Library? Tell me I haven’t gone back in time again!”

“I should hope not!” Twilight Velvet beamed. “You’re not a little filly any more, dear. It would hardly be proper for the crown princess of the Golden Oak Kingdom to still be sleeping in book forts. Now, hurry and get changed! I want to see you in your new gear before you go on your first adventure!”

Twilight’s brain tried to lock up and reboot at the casual mention of the “Golden Oak Kingdom,” only to get smacked again two sentences later. “Sorry, my… what now?” With a feeling of dread, Twilight tried to look above her own head, going a bit cross-eyed, and there it was, floating just over her horn.

(Twilight Sparkle - Level 4 Alicorn Wizard)
(Heiress Apparent)

She took a deep breath first… she really could have used a paper bag right now, but there was no telling if paper bags even existed in this setting. “Right! I’ll just go and... get changed! In private!" She lifted the simple traveling wizard’s robe, trotted into the bathroom, and locked the door. “Button Mash!” she hissed. “What have you done!?”

No response. Huh.

“Discord?” she tried. There was no answer to this either, and that was more worrisome. “Exit enchanted comic!” Still nothing.

When she emerged from the bathroom, another pony was waiting for her… Equal Libram, her very own Captain of the Twilight Guard, only now the floating text proclaimed him to be a Level 6 Unicorn Warrior (Royal Squire), and he looked nearly as confused as she felt. “Princess!?” He kept his voice low so Twilight Velvet wouldn’t hear. “What is happening? Are we really going on a ‘quest’ to fight giant rats in the castle basement?”

“Just play along for now!” she urged him.

“Well, what about that?” he asked, pointing out the window.

Twilight approached the window for a better view, and saw…

Ponyville. And Canterlot, practically a stone’s throw from each other. And Appleloosa, and Manehatten, and the Dragon Lands, Griffonstone, the Crystal Empire… Half of all the known world, crammed into a single valley like a theme park… Or rather, Twilight realized with a sinking feeling, just like the Overworld map of a role-playing video game.

And right in the center of everything, an enormous, twisted version of the Friendship Castle rose… built of corrupted black crystal, surrounded by lava pits and ominous clouds, and proudly flying the ancient black and gold banners of Grogar, the Tyrant of Tambelon.

“Horseapples,” muttered Princess Twilight. That seemed to sum it up fairly well.

Mtangalion 106.4

In the cellar of Castle Golden Oak, a door slammed open. Princess Twilight trudged up the stairs and out of the dungeons, filthy and bruised but now a far more capable level 10. “I can’t believe the giant rat boss was literally named Rat Boss!” she ranted. “Or that he was in league with Grogar!”

“Well, of course he was,” said Equal Libram, holding a tattered letter in his magic. “There has to be a plot hook to the main adventure, after all.” The guard captain snorted. “For my part, I can’t believe I’m still breathing.”

Twilight glared at him. “You are NOT getting killed off to show how strong the bad guys are! Not on my watch.” She turned and trotted away, stomping her hooves.

Equal Libram smiled, following. “But why else would I be here? Your heroic friends are the ones who should be by your side, your highness, not a ‘background pony’ like me.”

“Stop that. There are no unimportant ponies, only…” As Twilight opened the doors to the great hall, there was a swoosh and a familiar flutter of leathery wings. “Spike!” she exclaimed, grinning and cantering over to the nearest table. “You’re here too? Thank goodness! We need to warn the allies of the kingdom about Grogar at once.” She glanced around, searching for him. “Spike?”

“Guess again,” rasped a high-pitched voice. A young dragon landed on the table, but it was Garble, looking no older than Spike when he’d just gotten his wings. He shook a small clawed fist. “If you laugh, I’ll set your mane on fire! I swear, I’ll totally do it!”

Twilight gave the young Garble a tight smirk (Celestia’s smile #42). “I won’t, Garble, but I still need to send those letters, and I know that you know the dragon mail spell.”

Garble recoiled. “You want me to… Seriously!? I’m not your delivery service!”

Twilight paced, agitated. “There’s no time to argue! The future of Equestria is at stake, and I have a bad feeling that this game is much more than just a game!” She looked at Garble expectantly, until he finally pulled out a parchment and quill, muttering darkly. “Thank you, Garble. I know it can’t be easy for you, being placed in the role of a number one assistant, but we can still save the day if we work together!”

Twilight struck a pose. “To Princess Cadence and Prince Shining of the Crystal Empire… from Princess Twilight of Golden Oak… I have urgent news of the utmost importance…”

Five minutes later, Garble sealed the letter, then burned it with a jet of cherry red flame. He watched the smoke zip out an open window, and inexplicably, he started snickering.

Twilight’s face fell. “Garble? … Garble, what did you do?” Her face fell as a sudden horrible suspicion crossed her mind. “Garble, how many Ponish words do you know how to read and write?!”

Garble only laughed harder, rolling on the tabletop.

On the far side of the game world, in another castle, Prince Shining Armor scowled at the magical letter in his hooves. “Do you know dragon runes?” he asked, thrusting the letter towards Cadence.

Cadence winced, seeing the letter. It featured wall-eyed stick figures of Twilight and Equal Libram, with “Worst Princess!” and an arrow pointing to Twilight. There was also a portrait of Garble in a completely different art style, looking like a handsome musclebound hero with a parchment and quill, captioned “Obviously the real hero, duh!”

Cadence looked back to Shining apologetically. “Yes, but… I think you get the gist.”

Shining rose from his throne. “Get my plate mail! We’re going on a little trip.”

Mtangalion 106.5

Time seemed to slow as Twilight and her companions marched towards the castle’s front gate, dramatically striding in formation. She wasn’t sure if three creatures really constituted a proper power trot formation, but she was determined to make the most of it.

“It’s time to gather the party and venture forth!” she declared, brimming with hope. She struck a pose, and counter-rotating hologram closeups of herself appeared, while bold text slid into place, reading “Princess Twilight Sparkle, Alicorn Wizard.” She winked, flaring her wings.

Captain Equal Libram got the same hero treatment, though he frowned uncertainly through the whole thing. “Who are we trying to impress, exactly?”

“Dude, don’t be lame,” said Garble, pushing the stallion aside. “This is our chance to look cool!” The young dragon flexed as mightily as he could given his current diminutive size, only to recoil when the floating text declared him to be “Garble, Dragon Scholar.”

“What?! Buck that!” Garble pumped his wings and breathed fire all over the offending words. “Class change!” flashed with a dramatic fanfare, and the floating ash reformed as “Garble, Dragon Brawler.” He swung a pair of heavy maces in a miniature whirlwind of death, then smashed them into the ground as he landed. “And don’t you forget it!”

Equal Libram smirked as they proceeded through the castle gate, finally setting hooves and claws into the new game overworld. “Your weapon technique could use some work.”

Garble arched a brow. “Um, hello? Dragon? I’m pretty sure I can beat any *pony* without any lame training.”

“What about foes tougher than a pony?” Equal Libram persisted. “Or many foes at once? Don’t you want to be better, stronger, more capable?”

Garble blinked, pausing in his stride. “Huh. When you put it that way…” He gave Equal Libram a claws up. “Fine! Let’s see if your *pony* training is any good. We’ll just slag the bad guys in that castle right quick, and then…”

Whatever else he was about to say was lost when an ominous group of creatures appeared before them, shrouded by dark, dramatically concealing mist. One of them fired a tremendous magical blast, and without hesitation, Equal Libram threw himself in front of Twilight!

While Twilight shrieked and Garble snarled in outrage, Equal Libram was sent tumbling back, straight into the bottomless chasm which protected Castle Golden Oak. The stallion clung to the edge with a single hoof, struggling to pull himself up… and then he gave Twilight a cheeky grin. “C-called it!”

Then his hoof slipped, and the chasm claimed him.

Session 106.6 Mtangalion

“Equal Libram!” Twilight staggered, aghast, then whipped around to face the dramatically concealing mists, where several somecreatures were chuckling darkly.

“It hurts, doesn’t it?” crowed a familiar voice. The mists swirled, and Queen Chrysalis stepped forth, now wearing jade green boots and armor. “To have reliable, obedient minions…” She lunged in Twilight’s direction, snarling. “And then to have them cruelly taken away!”

A weak, hacking cough echoed up from the depths of the bottomless chasm. “Hello? Princess?” called Equal Libram faintly. “I’m... not dead! Turns out... ‘bottomless’ chasm was a bit of a misnomer...”

“How could you?!” shouted a teary-eyed Twilight, as if she hadn’t heard him. “Equal Libram was more than just some ‘minion!’ He was a loyal soldier, devoted to protecting all the ponies of Ponyville!”

“So if you could just toss a couple of healing potions down here...”

Twilight leveled a hoof at Chrysalis. “What’s more, on this adventure he was finally starting to open up more to the rest of us, becoming a comrade, a friend even! And now he’ll never have a chance…” She gasped and drew back as the mists dispersed entirely, revealing the rest of their foes. “Tirek too? And Cozy Glow? And you must be Grogar! You’re all working together!?”

Tirek bellowed with laughter, now charged with enough magic to be a towering juggernaut. “And more besides, Princess Twilight.” He leered down at her. “While you, on the other hand, stand alone.”

“Um, hello!?” Garble took to the air and brandished his maces, though they swung his small body around as much as he swung them. “I’m right here!”

Tirek merely arched a brow. “You stand alone, bereft of *useful* allies.”

Cozy Glow fluttered over to Garble smugly. “Ooooh, burn!”

“Oh yeah!? I’ll show you a burn!” Garble spat flames at Cozy, causing her to shriek and frantically dodge.

“You… big meany jerkface!” cried Cozy, diving to the ground and rolling in the dirt to put out the embers in her coat. “That wasn’t nice at all!” Then she giggled disturbingly, flashing a grin full of sharp jackal fangs as her body started to expand. “Maybe I’ll just show you *my* beastly side!”

Grogar telekinetically bonked Cozy on the head, reverting her to normal, then pulled her back to his side. “I believe that’s enough of a teaser for that.”

Chrysalis rolled her eyes at him. “Oh, please. There isn’t going to be a round two, once I’m through with her!” She charged up her horn, Tirek clenched his fists, and Cozy pulled twin hoofblades out of her mane.

But the whole one-sided beatdown was put on hold when storm clouds suddenly rolled in and thunder boomed! “Yes, things were definitely looking grim for the heroes!”

Princess Twilight blinked. “Discord?!”

“That is, until Captain Wuzz showed up!”

“Hey, don’t forget us!”

“Eeyup!”

Three new combatants stood up on the battlements of Castle Golden Oak, basking in the glow of lightning strikes and their own heroic theme music, then leapt to the ground between Twilight and the villains, making perfect superhero landings.

(CAPTAIN WUZZ, LEGENDARY LEVEL 99 RANGER LORD!)
(GARBUNKLE, LEGENDARY LEVEL 99 ARCHMAGE!)
(LORD MCBIGGUN, LEGENDARY LEVEL 99 BATTLEMASTER!)

Garble twitched, seeing his rival/dragon pal/whatever with maxed-out stats. “Hey Spike, you sure you didn’t rip off my name back when you made that character? You’re still going with that story?”

Spike chuckled sheepishly, scratching his head fins with a claw. “Uh, can we talk about that later?”

“It seems the tables have turned!” spoke Grogar, unfazed. He lit his long curving horns, pulsing with his signature gold and black magic. “Or have they? Come, do your worst! Or is it ‘do your best’ with heroes? I was never quite certain.”

Twilight’s mind was racing, trying to take in this new situation. “I don’t understand. The adventure has barely even begun, so why would…” Her eyes widened. “No! Don’t attack them! It’s…”

“Fight in the Shade!” shouted Discord, unleashing a volley of thousands of magic arrows.

“Terra Slayer!” cried Spike, firing a blinding burst of light.

“Final Omni Braver Meteor Rain Slash!” roared Big Mac, whirling his sword.

Grogar waited for one breath, two breaths… and then he smiled coldly. “Tambelon’s Toll.” An ancient cracked bell floated over his head and sucked in *all three* attacks, rendering them into little more than a mild breeze to ruffle the villains’ manes.

Discord’s jaw dropped about three feet. “Uh oh.”

“‘Uh oh,’ as you say, is correct.” Grogar gestured, and the Bewitching Bell rang again. The three legendary heroes cried out, collapsing with hooves or claws over their ears, while torrents of magic and power were drained out of them, rolling their levels all the way from 99 back to level 1. “And now...”

“Now?!” asked Chrysalis with bated breath.”

“Now!?” asked Tirek, grinding a forehoof.

“Now?!” squealed Cozy Glow, sharpening her blades.

“Now… we taunt them.” Grogar threw back his head and roared with evil laughter. The others looked at him like he’d finally lost it after centuries of evil plotting. “Laugh with me!” he urged them. The other villains shrugged and joined in, awkwardly at first, but they had a pretty good evil team laugh going by the time he abruptly cut them off.

“We’re done here,” said Grogar, sneering with contempt at the heroes. “You are utterly beaten and without hope, Princess Twilight Sparkle. Know that if you ever dare to challenge us in the Friendless Castle, it shall be your end.”

Tirek did a massive double-take. “You cannot be serious. They’re right there, at our mercy!” He gestured to the fallen legendary heroes, and Garble and Twilight trying to rouse them. “We can destroy them together!”

Grogar fixed him with a glare. “You just don’t get it, do you?” He lit his horns, and a warp gate formed, swallowing up the villains and teleporting them away.

Back in the corrupted Castle of Friendship, Tirek ROARED, stamping his hooves and pounding the walls with his fists. “Why... why did you do that!?” Chrysalis, Cozy, and the host of other villains wisely kept back, away from his wrath. “Answer me, old goat, or by Tartarus I’ll find a way out of your control and beat you into…”

Grogar’s gold and black lightning crackled, stunning Tirek into submission. “Clearly, absorbing magic doesn’t make your brain any bigger.”

Grogar paced across the throne room and gestured to the Cutie Map, which had changed to reflect the warped world outside. “Like it or not, we are all bound to the rules of this…” He made a sour face. “... foal’s role-playing video game. Defeating the heroes when they were still fresh out of the starting dungeon would have been a massive anti-climax. Just as the elder heroes could not win the game before the adventure even properly began, so it would have been for us. The world itself would not allow it.”

Chrysalis smiled cruelly. “But sooner or later, they’ll have to come here for the final battle.”

Cozy rubbed her hooves together gleefully. “And then we can finally get our revenge, Mr. Grogar?”

“Indeed.” Grogar laughed out of pure evil glee this time, not just for theatrics. “The adventure must be dramatic, and so-called heroes must try their best. But any story can take a tragic turn. Isn’t that right, my associate?”

Behind the map table, Starswirl’s Mirror now hung on the wall, showing a view of infinite darkness… and a floating Neighyptian mask, which spoke despite no one wearing it. “Indeed, Master Grogar. It’s just as you say.”

In the relative safety of Castle Golden Oak, most of the heroes had turned in for the night, knowing that simply sleeping in a bed would restore them to full health. Cadence was tending to them, leaving Shining Armor and Twilight to plan strategy in the great hall.

“Let’s recap,” said Shining. “We’re in a classic RPG video game. The bad guys have taken over the world, and they’re holed up in their fortress of evil, where they’ll probably do nothing until we go to face them.” His quill floated over the map, circling the castle at the center. “Since there’s no time limit, I say we should be as prepared as possible before we face them!”

“But that would mean…” Twilight grimaced. “Do we have to? Really? That could take weeks… months!”

Shining shrugged. “You have something better to do right now? Unless you’ve found some way to save and reload the game, we’ve only got one shot at this, Twily. We need to make it count.”

Twilight massaged her forehead. “That does make logical sense, but… I guess it doesn’t feel right. I’m supposed to be the Princess of Friendship here! Shouldn’t that matter more than who has more levels and hit points?”

“Not that kind of game, sis. Maybe you should give Button Mash a piece of your mind when we get out of here. This game world has his hoofprints all over it.”

“Oh, you’d better believe I will.” Twilight sighed, then cleared the table, penning the beginnings of a schedule and checklist. “For now, though…”

Shining Armor grinned. “It’s time to level grind!”

Mtangalion 106.6

“Now, you see!” declared Grogar, rearing up on his hind hooves. “Now, all can see!”

All around him, voices roared in approval, pumping fists or hooves or claws. The Great Hall of the Friendless Castle was jam-packed with the triumphant quartet of evil, and the many villains they’d recruited.

“The victory of so-called heroes…” Grogar paused, savoring the boos from the crowd. “... is not fated and inevitable. Just as I did in a time before history, we shall rise up and crush the light with unending darkness! Fighting as one, we are unstoppable!”

“Perfect! I love it!” exclaimed the Storm King. “Ooh, the catchphrases are practically writing themselves! Bray, make sure we get that ‘unstoppable’ line on the crossover event comics. Ooh, and on the official Storm Industries Friendless Castle playset!” He twirled his staff, somehow dodging Grogar’s attempts to shoo him away. “Now, I don’t know about you creatures, but working together makes me break out in a rash, so let’s never fight as one again!”

The crowd of minor villains cheered even louder and began stampeding towards the exits, some heading for rooms in the lower floors of the castle to guard them, others heading towards the far corners of the new Equestria, there to terrorize the locals until some heroes showed up.

Grogar was left standing alone, twitching and gnashing his teeth. “Hmph! I knew that was bound to happen, but I’m still peeved.”

“Language!” sang out Cozy Glow.

“PEEVED, I SAY!” Grogar turned and stormed out, slamming a door.

Cozy shrugged and turned in midair. “So like I was saying, our victory was all definitely thanks to me! Mister Grogar couldn’t have used that rusty old bell nearly so well, without the book I got for him.”

Mean Twilight arched a brow. “Really? I calculate an 83% chance that Grogar already knew everything there is to know about the Bewitching Bell, and he was just testing us to see if we’d stab him in the back.”

Ira gasped. “That… is so devious! I need to write that down. I can use it in my lessons with mom on advanced backstabbing!”

“Here,” said Mean Twilight, immediately producing a quill and parchment. Evil clone or not, she was still a Twilight.

King Sombra stalked down a flight of stone steps, making sure to appear properly brooding and dramatic just in case anyone saw him. “It’s back to the frozen north again, I suppose.” He paused on a landing, stroking his chin with an armored hoof. “Perhaps I’ll put some of those blasted wolves in soul traps, see how they like being chew toys! Hehe, ah hah hah… eh?”

Barely two paces in front of him, a crystal sphere formed in a cloud of ones and zeros, then fell. He reflexively caught it in his magic before it could roll down the steps, cautiously bringing it closer.

His eyes widened. “What is this?” Tiny figures danced within the crystal ball. “Is that… myself?” The dashing human in an elegant charcoal gray suit with a crimson tie and crystal lapel pin, that could surely be none other, even in that alien form, but then… The woman in the man’s arms, putting a hand to her swollen belly… Hope?!

Sombra sank to the floor, hooves trembling. “What cruel jest is this!? My beloved and I, happy and free in some other world? But, that cannot be! Never could have been!” He lifted the crystal again, ready to smash it, then froze, realizing there was more than just the image. There was… an essence, a trace of magic long lost… or so he’d thought.

Without another word, Sombra became a plume of black smoke and flew from the castle, all other plans and plots forgotten...

Ardashir 106.7

"One thing," Twilight said as she trotted onward. "What's happening with everypony else? Who are they facing?"

***

"Mwua-ahaha!" Auitzotl cackled as he rubbed a hideous golden statue like a leering toad. He looked out of a window in his castle chamber. "Let that fool Rainbow Dash try to use her pegasus powers to stop me. They will only empower the Idol of Sadoqua, making her 'realm'," he spat out the window at the image of a ruin-covered jungle with cloud cities floating overhead, "into a mud and muck filled swamp of monsters!"

"I thought your thing was heat and fire?" One of the monsters Grogar bad brought back dared ask him.

"Eh," Auitzotl shrugged. "The Storm King told me I needed to branch out."

***

"A bright fresh mornin' and -- what the hay?" Applejack looked down at the bright metal armor she wore, an axe slung across her back. She looked out her bedroom window. Half of her apple trees looked shrunken and poisoned. Even as she watched a few more turned sickly brown, leaves hanging limp.

"Uh, Blondie?" With a flapping of scaly wings and a grunt of effort, a Spike-size Sludge flew in. "I think we gotta problem."

"Whole town like this?" Applejack asked.

"Yep." He coughed up a letter from Twilight. "Looks like I'm your dragon mail, too."

"Whole world turned inta a game? Here we go again," Applejack grumbled. She hefted the axe and trotted for the door. "Ya ever want ta drink some cider again, Sludge, ya better come along."

***

"PBBBBT!" Cozy Glow flew down the hallway of the Friendship School. She stopped in front of the Mirror Gate and blew a raspberry at her pursuers. "Can't catch me, losers!"

"This time we will!" Smolder snarled as she flew after Cozy. Gallus, Silverstream, and a monstrous Ocellus flapped after her, wings beating for speed. Sandbar and Yona charged down the hall, hooves striking hot sparks from the stone floor. "Ya ain't tricking us this time -- Yow!"

"Golly, guess I just did." Cozy snickered as she flew up, letting the pursuing Student Six fly right through the mirror and to whatever lay beyond. "Have fun in monkey world, you stupid sillyheads! Lord Grogar changed the gate so it won't transform you; you better hope you can talk your way out of a dissection lab." She flew away laughing, not noticing the plume of black smoke that slithered through the still open gate behind her.

***

"And that's another problem out of the way," Grogar laughed as he used his magic to scry on Cozy's trick. "Let those brats cool their hooves in the human world. Once I've conquered Equestria, maybe they'll be next."

"Great idea, boss," the Storm King rubbed his hairy hands together. Ignoring Grogar's scowl, he said, "I've heard things about some of the weapons they supposedly have there," ones potent enough to get rid of you, you old goat, "and I can't wait to bring them back. Ah, for you, of course."

"That's right," Grogar sniffed, and then he asked with a cruel smile: "Are you a loyal slave?"

The Storm King choked but bowed low enough to hide his expression and said, "Of course... Master."

"Then leave," Grogar pointed to the door. "Get to your part of the Friendless Castle, and get everything ready!" As the Storm King left, Grogar looked back at his scrying crystal. His horns glowed and his eyes narrowed in annoyance.

"Where is Sombra?"

Mtangalion 106.8

All up and down the halls of Canterlot High School, phones began to beep and chirp, delivering a long awaited announcement to the subscribers of a certain online video game.

“This is amazing!” shouted Apple Bloom

“It’s almost here!” said Scootaloo, practically bouncing in place.

Sweetie Belle shared a huge grin with her best friends. “Canterlot Crusader World of Horsecraft New Patch Conquerors, YAY!!!!”

“It’s about time!” grumbled Garble the dog. “We’ve been waiting for days and days and…” He tried to count on his toes, and quickly gave up. “A whole lot of days!”

“But we haven’t finished all the stuff from the last time they made new stuff,” pointed out Ember. “We were busy teaching Smolder how to play.”

Smolder the puppy had one of the wireless game controllers in her teeth, growling and shaking it all around. “Yip yip! Did I win yet?!”

Gilda stalked down the creaky wooden stairs of their house, yawning profusely. “Ugh, it’s too early in the morning for all this noise.” She snatched her phone off its charger and started flicking through messages. “Spam, more spam…” She froze. “What the buck!? Seriously, what the… Scuse me gotta run!” Then she dove out the front door and literally flew away in a flurry of glowing bronze feathers.

Gallus smirked from his seat at the kitchen table. “Heh, she didn’t even try to hide it that time.”

“Buck!” exclaimed Smolder, wagging her tail. “What the buck!”

Gallus shrugged and took a bite of his toast.

“This… is the worst possible thing!” declared Micro Chips, dramatically whipping off his glasses. “The final raid of the expansion is coming, but with no public test, how can we master the new raid before it’s even released?”

Then he slipped his glasses back on, chuckling darkly. “It doesn’t matter. We’ll prove that we’re the best World of Horsecraft raiders in the world, even with no advantage!” He started touch-typing rapid-fire on his phone with two thumbs. “Team No-Life, assemble!”

CrystalSoft President Sombra’s phone started vibrating in his pocket, but he smoothly ignored it and continued his presentation of the company’s quarterly financials.

“This is totally awesome!” whooped Rainbow Dash, clearly resisting the urge to pony-up and fly loops around Twilight’s home, but only just. “Not only are we fighting Lord Tirek, but Sombra and Chrysalis are coming back too! Plus the Jackal Queen!”

“Whoever that is,” mused Shining Armor, browsing on a tablet with a frown.

Rainbow grinned. “Plus, the big mega-boss of the whole league of evil bad guys, someone we’ve never even heard of before!”

Twilight pinched the bridge of her nose. “I wouldn’t get too hyped just yet, Rainbow. I mean, I want new content as much as anyone, but last I heard, the new patch is still six to eight months away, thanks to that blue flu outbreak.”

Shining nodded. “Some joker probably hacked the official CrystalSoft account and released a fake trailer.”

“But the trailer can’t be fake!” protested Rainbow. “Look how detailed it is! I bet it’d be less work to make a new patch for real than to fake all this!”

Spike the dog looked up at them. “You don’t suppose… somebody went to the real Equestria and filmed a bunch of stuff, then slapped the game interface over it?”

Shining Armor chuckled. “I don’t think so. We’ve all been there, and it didn’t look like… well, this.” He pointed at the swooping camera view of the immense and foreboding Friendless Castle, looming over the adventuring town of Ponyville. “I mean, call me crazy, but if that’s the state Equestria is in, they’ve got a lot bigger problems than just Lord Tirek.”

Buck her beat up old car and morning traffic, buck the risk of somebody spotting her… A very griffoned-up Gilda wrenched open a third-story window and flew directly into the QA offices of CrystalSoft…

Only to nearly plow straight into Pharynx, who’d just flown in a different window, hovering on big sparkly bug wings. “You!?” shrieked Gilda, pointing at him.

“You!?” echoed the equally shocked dark-green-skinned human.

“You’ve been to Equestria too!?” they finished together.

Pharynx shook off his surprise first, dropping out of his ponied-up… bugged-up? .. changelinged-up state? “No sharding way is there any new patch ready to release next week.” He chuckled grimly. “Not unless aliens from Mars or people from the future beamed it to us!”

Gilda dismissed her own wings and dropped into the chair next to him, already typing rapid-fire. She tapped a final key, then leaned towards her screen, floored. “Or candy-colored ponies from another dimension, maybe?”

On her screen, there was a brand new beta server, already loaded up with a release candidate build…

CrystalSoft Lead Developer Discord took several deep breaths. “No no, dearest. Daddy isn’t mad, it’s going to be okay! I just need to know… WHAT. DID. YOU. DO?”

AI Screwball peeked out of her book fort on Discord’s monitor. “So... remember when you said that Mister Sombra said we needed a new patch fast, daddy?” She nudged her forehooves together. “I found all this really cool data for a game just floating around out there, and it was a 90.99% match for World of Horsecraft and it looked really neat and nopony was using it, so…” Her icon beamed at him. “I kinda borrowed it!”

Discord considered this, folding his arms. “We’re going to be extremely rich, or extremely fired. There’s no telling which.” A grin spread across his face. “Just the thing to liven up a dull work week!”

Mtangalion 106.9

It wasn’t that long a walk from Sweet Apple Acres into town, but apparently even that was too much for Sludge. The pudgy little dragon complained about his wings getting tired, and then that his feet hurt, and eventually he climbed up on Applejack’s back, just like Spike used to ride around on Twilight.

Applejack resisted the urge to buck him right off. It wasn’t as if this version of Sludge was heavy… heck, her new adventuring armor weighed more. And even Sludge wasn’t dim-witted enough to complain about getting a bumpy free ride, not yet at least.

Like her farm with all the withered trees, Ponyville was… different. The Ponyville she knew never had a three-story inn smack dab in the middle of town, or a huge sports arena.

An off-color clone of Big Mac passed them on the road, with a slightly robotic stride and a goofy grin plastered to his face. “Mornin’! Nice day for apples, ain’t it? Eeyup!”

“Won’t some brave pony lend me their aid?” cried another stallion, this one resembling Mr. Cake. “My wife and foals have gone missing in the Everfree Forest, and I fear I may never see again!” He made an exaggerated show of crying about it.

Sludge turned, watching them as AJ trotted on by. “Looks like ponies doing pony stuff to me. Ya sure this is one of those add-venture games?”

“Ah! Hello and welcome to the town of Ponyville!” said Mayor Mare brightly… with a literal golden exclamation point floating over her head.

Applejack furrowed her brow. “Call it a hunch.” She paused, ears flicking. “You hear that?”

“Hear what?” asked Sludge, before he heard it too.

It sounded like a clock ticking, only huge and dramatic, every tick and tock booming across Ponyville. Both dragon and pony found themselves looking up at words, written across the very sky! (Server coming online in 3… 2… 1… )

And then all Discord broke loose.

People began popping into existence all around them! Not just ponies, but all kinds of creatures! Griffons and young dragons, jogging around like they owned the place. Deer! Thestrals! Changelings and wolves, just mingling with the crowd undisguised! And every last one of the newcomers had a name and title floating over their head, neat as you please.

It took less than a minute for the town square to get crowded, and then very crowded, more jam-packed with creatures than Whinny Land on a hot summer day.

“Looking for group, new quests!”

“Ugh, can’t Crystalsoft fix this lag? Of course, there’s a login queue already!”

“Lawl, shut up loser! Ha, it’s like this is your first patch!”

“Need healer to run the new Abysmal Abyss dungeon and good to go!”

It was too much… Applejack shoved her way out of the crowd and into an alley, where she leaned against a wall, panting. “It’s like some kinda nightmare…”

Sludge nodded fervently, shuddering. “Did ya see how every one of ‘em was *running* everywhere? What the slag is wrong with those guys?”

“AJ?” asked a familiar stallion’s voice. “Oh wow, you got some new armor already!”

Applejack froze, then turned slowly to behold Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle… with “BBBFF” and “Faithful Student” floating above their heads, respectively.

“Applejack?” asked Twilight. “What are you doing here? You said you and Mac were busy with planting, and you’d catch up with the rest of the guild this weekend.”

Applejack gulped. “Hoo boy.”

Mtangalion 106.10

“Well done, brave heroes!” declared Queen Gilda, her wings spread in a regal pose.

Five adventurers with those crazy names and titles floating over their heads - two ponies, a changeling, a diamond wolf, and a yak - stood before her. This made the bakery that doubled as her home and audience hall rather cramped, and how the yak had actually fit through her front door was a bit of a mystery.

“By defeating the Gloomfeather Cult in the Abysmal Abyss,” Gilda continued, “you have saved all of Griffonstone from the scourge of a resurrected Arimaspi! Please, take this reward and go forth, known by all as a friend to griffons!”

The adventurers snatched their reward of golden bits from her claws one by one, then rushed out the door without another word. The moment they were gone, Gilda slumped and resumed banging her head on a wall. “Stupid… lame… quest text! Who writes this bucking crap!?”

Gilda’s front door bell jingled. “Ugh, not again,” she hissed, clenching her talons. “I won’t do it, I won’t… Hail and welcome, adventurer! You’ve come at a time of dire peril for...”

“Uh, could you skip all that?” said Prince Shining Armor. “I’m kind of in a rush.”

Gilda blinked, the spell broken. “Oh, thank Boreas! I could hug you!”

Shining cringed back from her. “You don’t have to…”

“Yeah, I’m not gonna do that,” agreed Gilda. “Abysmal Abyss. Kill the bad guys.” She jingled the magical bottomless sack of quest reward bits that rested on the arm of her favorite chair, which was technically also her throne. “Get loot and rep. Go knock yourself out.”

Shining turned to go, then paused. “You know, I don’t think we’ve met since you became queen, and Celestia only knows when the next Convocation of Creatures will be with all this mess, so… He stamped his hooves, standing at attention. “Queen Gilda of Griffonstone… I, Prince Shining Armor, officially wish you well on behalf of the Crystal Empire! Good luck in your reign, and may you overcome all the challenges before you!”

Gilda blinked, tilting her head sharply. “Huh. You’re not gonna say ‘congratulations’ like all the flank-kissing telegrams Gabby brought me?”

Shining seemed uncertain for a moment. “Should I have? Being a royal never really seemed like something to be congratulated over. I just do what I have to do to protect my ponies.”

Queen Gilda grinned broadly. “Finally, somecreature bucking gets it!” She gave him a claws up. “Good luck to you too. Now scram before this gets sappy.”

Shining Armor grinned back, saluted, and trotted on out, stepping around the just arriving Prince Consort Gerold. There was still some resistance to calling him that, instead of just “the Queen’s griff” or other titles less polite. “Hey, babe,” he purred, padding straight over to her side and scratching the itchy spot between her wings, like he’d bucking read her mind. “You holding up okay?”

Gilda slumped into the scritches, allowing herself a coo and a royal pout. “I’d be doing better if Giles would get his tailfeathers here and get this bucking exclamation point off my head. What’s the holdup?”

Gerold shrugged his wings. “He said he had some plan to turn all this questing junk to our advantage.”

Gilda blinked at him. “Huh? How?”

“Un-bloody-believable!” muttered Giles the griffon wizard, peering down from his high perch. The streets of Griffonstone were swarming with creatures of every sort, like they hadn’t been since King Grover’s golden age. That was fine by him. More busy adventurers meant more bits, buying up griffon scones, griffon cider, and adventuring supplies of every sort.

No, what he minded was the magic-wielding griffons among these so-called adventurers. Priests of Boreas and Astra... with actual holy powers that weren’t a scam! Wizards, illusionists, shadow mages… there was a feathering summoner showing off her pet phoenix right in public, for Boreas’ sake!

“How dare you!” snarled Giles, swooping down and landing in their faces. “You didn’t earn that magic! You… you didn’t have to skulk in the shadows, one of only a clawful of magical griffons in all the world, struggling to learn your craft without proper aid, always in fear of the mob and the torches and pitchforks!”

The summoner laughed in his face. “Dude, are you roleplaying?”

The griffon rogue next to her tisked, casually flipping a dagger. “Oh yeah, I remember! The character creation screen said that griffon wizards were rare or some junk. Just ignore him.”

Giles watched them move on, slumping so dejectedly that his spectacles slid halfway down his beak before he harrumphed and nudged them back into place. “Well then!”

Giles took wing again and flew a short ways to the central market square, where Greta and some of the other “quest givers” had already set up a booth. “Attention, everycreature!” he boomed, with the help of a voice-amplifying charm. “I have an important new quest to share!”

Some in the crowd paused to listen… not as many as Giles had hoped, but enough for a start. “We’ve made great progress in rebuilding Griffonstone these past few years, but fully two-thirds of the original city remains rubble to this day, including the entire palace district! Starting right now, we’re giving quests asking you to help us repair and rebuild!”

“What?!” bellowed a hulking yak with a horned helmet. “You want us to do boring work for gold, when we could be beating up Tirek? Eeww! That’s, like... having a real job!”

Giles cringed, sensing that he was losing the crowd. “Now now, hear me out…”

“I don’t know about him, but I could use some cheap skillups!” shouted an earth pony wearing an apron with carpentry tools. Several other crafters started nodding.

“Yes, indeed, there will be ‘skillups’ aplenty!” said Giles, seizing on that. “We might even be able to supply some of the raw materials.” He gestured broadly. “And just think! When all the residential areas are rebuilt, you might even be able to purchase land within the city, to truly be a part of the community that you’re investing in today…” The crowd went silent, catching Giles by surprise. “Eh?”

A young dragon flew right up in his face. “You’re opening a new housing district!? Someplace with tons of new houses that aren’t already all bought up, where new guys like us stand a chance of owning one? Well, why didn’t you say so!?”

The crowd *stampeded* towards their booth like an army of yaks, pushing and shoving to get in line for the new quests, and then they were off to the races, filling the city with the sounds of hammering and sawing and chiseling. Giles was left staring in awe. “Well, that’s just bloody brilliant. There’s no way *this* could all go spectacularly wrong on me, oh no... I wonder if it’s too late to go hide in my tower again.”

Session 106.11 Mtangalion

Shining Armor trotted briskly up switchback stairs, making the long climb to Griffonstone’s recently reconstructed airship docks. Along the way, he couldn’t help but feel a little jealous of all the griffons and other airborne creatures, lazily gliding back and forth every which way on their own errands. Even with the recent boom in tourism and trade, Griffonstone remained a city of winged creatures, designed by and built for winged creatures, and getting around on hoof could be downright exhausting.

He chuckled, shaking his head. “Well, they did offer to let me ride the cargo lift. Guess I can’t complain if… Wait, what?”

An earth pony adventurer went sailing past, wearing heavy plate mail no less! Apparently, all that weight was no problem at all for his miniature sky chariot. Heck, he was browsing through a journal and not even looking where he was going! The chariot’s team of tiny mechanical changelings did all the flying for him.

There were more creatures using devices to fly, now that Shining had noticed. A diamond wolf rocketed by, propelled by a backpack with wings of pure magic. A deer zipped past him too, riding a jeweled platform supported only by glowing crystals.

And that griffon over there… he didn’t need a sky chariot, he was just being lazy! Or maybe he was showing off the chariot. It *was* pretty cool, Shining had to admit, with its carriage shaped like a snarling beast frozen in black metal, with a team of three black drakes pulling it. It would have looked right at home in Princess Luna’s private collection of bizarre and historic airships. Come to think of it…

“Oh, oh wow.” There was a unicorn mare on the steps above him, purple with a long tri-color mane of pink, magenta, and violet. She wore an illusionist’s robes and spell-component pouches. “Another new player!” She hesitated, twisting a foreleg self-consciously. “At least, I assume you’re new, since you’re walking and probably don’t have a personal sky chariot yet. But that’s fine if you’re not! I mean, walking can be fun too?”

Shining furrowed his brow. “Who…” That was a silly question, he realized… her name was floating right over her head. “Lily Lightly, huh?”

The mare froze. “I’m… uh… Yes! I’m Lily Lightly!” She grinned nervously, then sighed. “It’s a terrible name, isn’t it? I knew it…”

Screwball stamped a hoof adorably. “Wallflower Blush! You are not using your real name for your World of Horsecraft character, and that’s final!” The sentient AI filled the computer screen with stop signs and railroad crossing guards. “There’s bad humans who could do all kinds of bad things with your real name online.”

Wallflower grinned hopefully. “Fallflower Brush?”

Screwball’s frown didn’t budge. “Try again.”

“Smallflower Bush!”

Screwball shook her head vigorously. “Bzzzzt! Come on, you’re almost there! I know you love flowers. Just pick something flowery and *different!* You know, like Memory Gardener, or Forget-Me-Not.”

Wallflower had a sudden thoughtful look. “What about…”

Shining Armor smiled. “Nonsense! I think Lily Lightly is a pretty name.” He glanced up again, and his eyes widened. “Wait, you’re in the Elements of Harmony guild? Are you one of Sunset Shimmer’s friends?”

Now it was Lily’s turn to look perplexed. “You know them? I guess… I’m kind of their friend? I mean, they invited me to the guild, but they might have... forgotten I’m around. I totally understand, though! There’s a big patch, big new raid, everybody’s so busy… I just need to catch up!” She blinked. “I… I’m boring you. Oh no, I just babbled a bunch of things and now it’s all awkward… I’m so sorry, I’ll just…”

“Lily!” A breezie darted out of her pack and hovered in front of her, waving an admonishing hoof. “Remember what we talked about!”

Lily Lightly blushed vividly. “Oh, right…” she said in a small voice. “Sorry again.”

Shining Armor blinked. “What for?” He shrugged it off and grinned handsomely. “You’re not wrong… I do have a lot more questing to do if I’m gonna be strong enough to fight Grogar, but I’m sure we’ll run into each other again. Any friend of Sunset’s crew is a friend of mine!”

Unexpectedly, a floating window popped up in front of Lily, making her gasp. “A friend request?! You… you really want… is it okay for…”

The breezie rolled her eyes. “Of course it is! Accept it, you big silly!”

So Lily tapped the floating window with a hoof, then squealed happily and threw her hooves around Shining in a big hug. “Thank you!” Before Shining could protest, she’d already rushed past him and started skipping merrily down the stairs, seemingly heedless of any danger of falling off.

The mystery breezie winked at him and flew off after her.

Shining watched them go, jaw hanging open. “I know they say the true adventure is the friends you make along the way, but…” He glanced at the sun overhead. “Ah! Gotta hurry before I miss the airship.”

At the top of the stairs, Shining found none other than Grandpa Gruff, wearing a quest-giver’s gold exclamation point and angrily shaking a clawed fist at the heavens. “I have endless gold in this quest reward bag, but only when I’m giving it away? What Tartarus is this!?”

“Skip,” said Shining Armor without thinking.

“Go get feathered, pony!” snarled Gruff, suddenly right in his face. “This rant isn’t quest chatter, it’s all me!!”

Shining gulped. “Oh boy…”

Session 106.12 Jarkes With Edits

Suddenly Shining Armor noticed some monsters attacking the NPCs near his location. "All right, let's do this!" He shouted, readying his weapon.

(The Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky SC - Sophisticated Fight)

Suddenly he noticed his surroundings growing dark. "What the..." Just then, Screwball popped up.

"This is the tutorial fight! I'm hear to annoyingly explain basic and advanced battle tactics!"

Shining gritted his teeth. "I've been playing this game and others like it for years..."

Screwball shrugged. "Sorry, I'm contractually obligated to do this at the start regardless of whether it's a new player or not. So anyway, first you scroll down through the menu and select 'Attack' before choosing a target..."

Shining groaned.

"I've fought monsters plenty of times without you showing up!"

"Yes but there's a new mechanic where if you throw bits at the monsters griffins from all around will attack them."

"Then just give me that!"

"Sorry. This new patch seems rather clumsy in place."

"I CURSE THE GODS OF GAMING!"

-

Prince Button Mash shivered. "Did someone just curse my name?"

Older Prince Button Mash said, "Won't be the last time kiddo."

Author's Note

Author's Note:
Session 106.0 Alex Warlorn
Session 106.1 Mtangalion
Session 106.2 Kendell2
Session 106.3 Mtangalion
Session 106.4 Mtangalion
Session 106.5 Mtangalion
Session 106.6 Mtangalion
Session 106.7 Ardashir
Session 106.8 Mtangalion
Session 106.9 Mtangalion
Session 106.10 Mtangalion
Session 106.11 Mtangalion
Session 106.12 Jarkes With Edits

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?
What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Art by by XeviousGreenII, used with permission.

MLP FIM copyright Hasbro.

Session 1

Session 1.0

Behind the Dungeon Master Screen, (and sitting on top of some books to raise his height) Spike spoke to the group of ponies before him. "Okay girls you turn the corner in the desert pyramid, and you see a treasure chest in the corner of the opposite end of the hallway."

Rainbow Dash got her dice ready. "Get ready to fight some low level monsters."

Twilight shook her head. "No, you scan the room for traps first."

Spike said with a straight face. "You spot no low level monsters and you don't find any traps."

Twilight nodded. "Then approach the chest and check it out."

Spike's checklist of the next sixty seconds went as follows:
-Twilight Sparkle Is Fireballed By a Mimic
-Twilight Sparkle Dies
-A grave appears to mark Twilight Sparkle's passing
-Twilight Sparkle repawns in Twilight's Delightful Garden

Twilight balked. "Wait, since when can Mimics shoot fireballs?!"

Spike shrugged. "Rare spawn."

Rainbow Dash grinned. "At least we'll get good loot from killing it."

AJ stared. "Ah'll admit, Ah didn't see that comin'."

Session 1.1 (Ardashir,SomeRandomMinion)

"So, what characters are we gonna be playing?" Dash looked at the new module. "And this, 'Raven Loft'? What the hay is this?" The module bore the picture of a gloomy castle together with a bat pony in evening clothes. She tried sneaking a peek.

"Dash!" Twilight snatched it away. "It's something different. Gothic horror..."

Rarity pricked her ears up while Dash and Gilda (who she'd convinced to 'try it out') groaned.

"Ya mean we're gonna pretend to sit around and be mopey and listen to bad music?" Gilda huffed, ruffling her feathers up in annoyance.

"No!" Twilight rolled her eyes and began setting the dice down. "It relies more on atmosphere and story than just plundering dungeons."

"Personally? I'm all for it," Rarity went to her seat. "It's time we tried something different from armed robbery in these games. I want to be something other than a thief for once!"

"Umm, strictly speaking, the class is called 'rogue'..." Fluttershy's voice trailed off as she hid behind her mane.

"Yeah," Dash said, "an' we need somepony ta spring the locks. Hey, you're obsessed with money anyway..." She shut her mouth several seconds too late.

Rarity shrieked, "WHY DOES EVERYPONY KEEP EXPECTING ME TO PLAY A THIEF?!?! Why don't you ask SURI to play if you want that?!"

Twilight waved her forehooves frantically. "Rogue doesn't have to mean thief, Rarity! It can mean anypony who gets by on their wits and charm."

Dash snorted. "And you have at least half of that down -- oops."

She recoiled from the deadly glare aimed at her by the purple-maned mare.

"WHAT was that, Rainbow Dash??"

Gilda separated the two.

"Can we just play this dweeb game already?"

Over the next few nights, they played through Ravenloft.

Fluttershy felt dismay at the descriptions of innocent animals turned into murderous servants of evil.

Applejack was horrified at the wasting of the land under Strahd von Zarovich; Pinkie Pie didn't like anypony who refused to even let their people laugh.

Dash enjoyed getting the parts of the Sun Sword together. Rarity enjoyed helping their local ally Tatyana out, especially when they learned that the young pink alicorn was going to wed a paladin.

("Twilight! What's with the shout-outs?")

("Heh, just to make it feel a little more real and personally involving, girls!")

And Gilda...

"WHAT THE HAY IS THIS?" She shrieked and spread her wings in fury. The ponies winced as she raged. "This is the FIFTH time that vampony put the bite on me and sucked some of my levels away!! He keeps attacking us and running away, the big coward! I'm gonna tear off his head when I catch him, that lousy..." A rag held in a purple magical grip slipped up and wrapped around her beak.

She glared at Twilight.

"What did I say about language?"

"Can't much blame her, Twi," Applejack said. "He killed ma animal companion, stole Fluttershy's witch-familiar, ruined Pinkie's plans for the wedding reception...."

"Snatched the last part of the Sun Sword right as we were about ta complete it!" Dash grumped. "An' we learned he killed his brother and betrayed everyone who trusted him..."

"And he called my, MY, wedding dress for dear Tatyana tacky!" Rarity's eyes blazed. "Right before he kidnapped her!" She dramatically threw one foreleg across her face. "How can even a soulless vampony ruin someone's wedding day?!?"

"Well, you'll find out tomorrow night," Twilight began folding the module up. "It's getting kind of late, and -- HEY!" She looked out from the bottom of the pile of her friends. "Mind getting off of me?"

"Forget it!" Gilda joined the rest in one cry. "We've come this far; we're ending it tonight!"

"He's a vampony! He's most powerful at night!"

"WE DON'T CARE!"

Time passed. They entered Castle Ravenloft and found Strahd. And the Sun Sword.

They learned the truth about Strahd. That he'd once loved Tatyana in her former life, that he sold his soul to become a vampony to have her forever, only to lose her. Again and again, her every reincarnation ending in her dying at his hands.

But not this time. This time they used the Sun Sword to give the final death to Tatyana as she pleaded for release from vampirism.

"He... He... He said he loved her and, and he did that..." Rarity and Fluttershy wept.

"He ain't gonna do it again," Gilda the barbarian said. Strahd, helpless in his casket from the injuries they inflicted, glared helplessly. She picked up the Sun Sword. "We're finishin' this creep." She held the sword out to Rarity and Fluttershy. "Unless one of you wants ta take the honors."

Rarity looked at Tatyana's ashes. Then at Strahd. She glared and reached for the sword, before letting it drop.

"I can't do it! This poor man's suffered so much!"

Gilda snatched the blade up. "He's a bloodsucking creep who took half my levels with energy drain. If you can't, I sure as heck can!" " With one thrust she pinned Strahd down like a bug on a board.

"And a look of relief passes over his face as Strahd von Zarovich collapses into ashes, dead forever." Twilight intoned as she closed the book. "The end!"

"GAH! Gilda, how could you!" Rarity pinned her ears back. "Poor Strahd, he only wanted to be loved..."

Gilda clacked her beak in annoyance. "By his kid brother's fiancee Tatyana! And he murdered his brother. And killed Tatyana. AND killed everyone at the reception after he became a vampire!"

Applejack nodded. "Yeah, even Chrysalis was better than that. Ah'm kinda with Gilda here."

"Maybe no more Gothic horror, please?" Fluttershy called from under the table.

Rainbow suppressed a chuckle as she helped 'Shy out from under the table. "Normally I don't mind scary stuff, but....yeah, maybe next time we do this it could be a more....upbeat game?"

Gilda snorted, idly looking through her character sheet. "Just as long as the next dweeb game doesn't have something that sucks out all the leveling up I do..."

Twilight tapped her chin, "Hmm...well, there is something you two might especially like." With a flurry of magic she neatly filed away all the material for Raven Loft, only for a new module to take its place on the table. This one bore a striking image of a quartet of ponies and a Diamond Dog pup (Fluttershy squeed in delight), all dressed like zeppelin crew and striking heoric poses: a unicorn in a captain's uniform floated a blunderbuss by her head winking at the viewer, while a brutish-yet-dashing pegasus in light armor hovered overhead; a cutlass in his mouth as he smirked around the weapon. The little pup wore goggles and carried a wrench as big as he was.
Behind the dashing group, airships soared over a smoky city that looked to be composed mostly of factories and steam vents.

"Skies of Equestria!" Twilight announced with a grin. This is a steampunk world, all about flight and adventure--anything that flies, you'll find it here. Planes, airships, legendary pegasi and griffons; it's all here!" Already Rainbow's grin was growing; Twilight could see her starting to nod in approval. "This should have that levity you're looking for, Fluttershy; not much horror here." Fluttershy didn't even try to hide her relief. "And don't worry, Gilda; no vampires in sight here--plenty of swashbuckling, though!"
Gilda snorted again, but the griffoness couldn't keep herself from smirking.

Rarity leaned in, clearing her throat diplomatically. "Well, that is a nice change of pace, Twilight--I must say, that captain mare's uniform is simply dashing--but I don't think this...steampunk?...setting will be fun for everypony." She inclined her head toward Applejack, who only gave a perplexed "Huh?".

After a short but uncomfortable silence, Applejack's eyebrows tabled. "Wait...ya think Ah won't like this game 'cause it's all about machines and contraptions everywhere? So what, Ah'm some kinda luddite who goes plum crazy when she sees anythin' more complicated than a wheelbarrow?"

"No, AJ, we'd never think that!" Pinkie defended. "It's just...well, you never let anypony bring big equipment to Sweet Apple Acres; and Flim and Flam always had some big fancy machine when they tried to scam everypony..."

Applejack facehooved. "So? Just 'cause mah family sticks ta traditional farmin' don't mean we hate everythin' the least bit modern! Even Granny Smith'll sometimes say she wants tah get a radio set fer the livin' room. And those two snakes-in-the-grass ain't on my blacklist 'cause they used machines, they're there 'cause they're ripoff artists. So...Ah'm just fine with this here game, Twilight. No problems from me."

Twilight shrugged. "Well, glad you could get that off your chest, AJ. Anyway, 'Skies of Equestria' it is. I'll pass around some basic guidebooks and character sheets so you can all get some idea of what you want to do. We'll meet up the night after tomorrow and really get started...oh, and this is kind of an older game, so don't lose them, they're hard to replace."

Session 1.2 (Endrel1110 with edits by Alex Warlorn)

Twilight was behind the DM screen and sighed. "Spike dies, again, and respawns in the Cave of The Generous Dragon."

Spike says, annoyed. "Again? I just got back into the fray!"

Rainbow Dash then said. "Well, maybe if you stopped giving all your higher level stuff to Rarity and actually kept some of it, you would survive more!"

"But what if Rarity needs it!"

"Spike!" Rarity interrupts. "I appreciate the loot you give me, but I don't need 3 high-level Slime Hammers, 4 Golden Crossbows, 2 sets of Solar Guardian Armor, 3 Sets of Nightmare's Armor, and ALL of the healing potions you find."

"I could've sworn I gave you more than that."

"That's because I've been sharing them with the girls when they need them."

Applejack said, embarrassed, "Yeah, still can't believe I rolled so low the Crossbow fired backwards!"

=An amount of time before Spike's deaths=

Twilight warned, "The door you are at turns out to be a Mimic, and slams Pinkie's foreleg."

"At least it's not another one disguised as a treasure chest," Rainbow Dash shook her head.

"The last one was disguised as a tool shed and tried to eat Fluttershy." AJ reminded her.

"It said it as a time machine," Fluttershy said.

Pinkie looked shocked, and Twilight rolls a d8, after calculating the damage, she asks for an initiative roll, with Applejack getting the highest initiative.

Applejack, looking confidant says "All right, using my crossbow (Thanks Rares) I'll attack the Mimic."

Applejack gets ready to roll the dice, and ... she ... gets a ... 1. Followed by another. And another.

The reactions were glorious.

"Wut!?"

"HAHAHAHA!"

"Wait, really."

"I gave that crossbow to Rarity, to give to you, for that?"

"Oh, Applejack, we all get unlucky sometimes."

Twilight then interrupts the conversation to say, having finished rolling on the Critical Failure Table. "Girls, please, Applejack's crossbow misfires, damaging her, it also breaks, being made of gold."

"Ah say we burn them 'critical fumble' extra rule books." AJ grumbled.

Twilight gave her a death glare that AJ returned uncowed by the powerful purple pony.

Session 1.3 (Kendell2)

"I fail to see why I'm a player and not the game master!" Discord lamented, Fluttershy having talked him into joining for the night.

"Because we've seen you as game master in real life," Rainbow Dash replied dryly, giving him a glare. "I seem to remember the words 'play fair' aren't part of your vocabulary!"

Discord crossed his forelimbs and gave a glare, until Fluttershy gave him puppy dog eyes. "Fine. I suppose I should pick a character type and all of that."

The spirit of chaos summoned a big wheel with every possible character type on it and spun it.

Rainbow Dash blinked. "Uh, dude, I'm me and even I can tell you that's a bad idea. Get stuck with a character type you don't like, and you'll probably regret it."

"Hmp! I'm Discord! Which of these character types could POSSIBLY be hard for me to manage?"

"Alright, then play with what you get, unless you're chicken," Rainbow Dash taunted.

"Fine! I shall! Then we'll see who's laughing!"

"And NO rage quitting!"

"Rage quit? When have I ever rage quit?" Discord asked, looking offended, ignoring the flat look he got in return.

"You rage quit CHECKERS if you're losing!"

"No, I turn the checkers and their board into a pepperoni and chocolate chip cookie pizza, there's a difference."

Even Discord was not immune to the dreaded act of 'tempting fate' it seemed, as the wheel landed on the Paladin class, much to the spirit's shock.

Rainbow Dash fell off her chair laughing her head off. "Told ya! And of course you had to get it while Rarity's game master!"

Rarity turned her nose up. "Forgive me if I prefer my Paladins to be Nights in Shining Armor."

Discord face clawed. "...Let's just start already..."

Session 1.4 (Ardashir)

While the mane six, plus Discord, Playing through the infamous Tomb of Horror . . .

"WHAT! How can you die just from jumping into the open mouth of a carved devil head?"

Twilight facehoofed. "Because there's a sphere of annihilation in it, that's why! It destroys everything!"

"Why did ya even DO that?" Dash flapped over the table and up to Discord. "You stuck your Holy Avenger sword in there and lost half the blade!"

"What did you think would happen?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"I wanted to find it and replace it -- ah, here it is!" With those words Discord reached into a hole in space from which a chill wailing came and yanked out the upper third of a gleaming sword blade. He called into it, "Thanks, Mom!"

"STOP. LOSING. YOUR TOYS!" was the response as it slammed shut.

The ponies stared in shock.

"Ooo-kay," Dash said. "What was that?"

"It certainly wasn't the Equinomorphic Representation of Heat Death," Discord said. "Different series entirely."

The Mane Six just looked at each othe before getting back to the game without another word.

"Right. So there you are, still in the entryway, after three hours..."

Session 1.5 (Ardashir)

Much, much later...

"Okay," Twilight said, looking frazzled. "There you are, facing Acererak himself, a hovering gem-encrusted skull. You all just barely survived his death scream, and he's just swallowed the soul of Pinkie Pie's rogue..."

"I hope I give him heartburn!" Pinkie said indignantly.

"And he's looking at the rest of you like he was a hungry pony and you were buckets of imported oats!" Twilight grinned evilly. "Now he... Oh, Discord, what is it?"

"Ahem!" Discord lowered his claw. "I merely wish to state that his actions are completely impossible. Eating even just ONE soul would cause years of indigestion and leave him incapable of fighting us. Realistically..."

Everypony groaned.

"Ya ain't gonna turn the room inta another greased chute ending in a lava pit just ta make your point, are ya?" Applejack looked at her singed tail and winced.

"No, but that does give me an idea." Discord snapped his fingers. Light flashed. "Since you won't believe me."

The Mane Six cringed only to sag in relief as they saw nothing different. Same room, same table, same books...

Well, except for the bejeweled pony skull that was rising and giving them all a furious glare.

"AHHHH!"

Session 1.6 (Richforce)

“That’s it!” said Discord. “I’ve there’s no way I could have rolled that many fails!”

Rainbow Dash started to mutter. “Rage quit in five, four…”

“It’s time to break out my secret weapon! My infinity-sided die!”

Discord took out a plastic box opened it as dramatic music came from nowhere. Inside was a glowing white polyhedral die, its surface seemed to shift and change shape while a most of its surfaces showed strange glyphs.

“Ohhhh,” said Pinkie. “Shiny.”

“No way that’s legal,” said Twilight.

“It is in this dimension,” said Discord. “Though it is outlawed in nine thousand others.”

“Why would it be outlawed?” asked Fluttershy.

“Infinite sides mean infinite possibilities, anything can happen when you roll this. Our faces could melt into jelly or the world can turn into an egg!”

“Maybe you should put that away,” said Twilight.

“Not a chance! That Ice Incubus is going down! I cast Turn Evil and make a wisdom check against Xoltor the Frozen!”

Discord tossed the die and time seemed to slow down as the die stopped and the surfaces stayed in place.

“No way!”
“Unbelievable!”
“I didn’t expect that to happen!”

Game master Rarity then said calmly. “You rolled an eight and Xoltor’s constitution just barely withstands your spell as he casts Winds of Winter.” Rarity rolled a d20. “And lands a critical hit. Discord you are frozen solid.”

“Oh shoot!” said Discord as he slammed his fist on the table causing the d∞ to roll again emitting a flash of light.

“Nothing happened,” said Rainbow Dash.

“Not according to that symbol,” said Twilight.

+

Back in Canterlot the two new royal Shetland Alicorns were discussing their predicament.

“When I said that I wanted to be more approachable to my little ponies this wasn’t what I had in mind,” said Celestia.

“But I love being a chubby, stubby, roly-poly, ball of adorable!” said Luna.

Session 1.7 (BrutalityInc)

2.0 Henderson

"Alright, remind me again how we got into this mess?" Rainbow Dash asked, looking at the trouble their characters got into. "I mean, we all KNOW that the chancellor to the king was in fact an avatar controlled by the evil overlord whats-his-name!"

"Capra, RD, his name is Capra. And that means squat when the only witnesses was you and a maid who first told us about it!" AJ snapped at her, equally irritated by the predicament, "It's our word, a bunch of stranger and a lowly servant, against that of the chancellor's, who is trusted by the king, and has at least half the nobility in his pocket! Unless we uncover some solid evidence of his true identity or his corruption, we can't do anything - solid evidence that we SOMEHOW manage to lose!"

"I swore my bard has it in the bag!" Pinkie insisted, "In all meanings of the word!"

"Well, now that you had failed to expose the evil chancellor in time, the king has been rendered comatose by an assassination attempt arranged by him, most of the royal garrison had been sent to someplace, too distance to return in time to stop the evil overlord's army of troggs and dragons, which has now surrounded the capital." Twilight summed up the whole situation, from her place at the DM seat, with Spike indisposed by a sudden case of dragon cold.

"Well, at least the situation can't get any worse." Rainbow Dash said, half-sarcastically.

"Oh believe me, there are so many ways the situation could get worse," Rarity said cynically, "Even if we somehow save the city from the siege, Overlord Capra's avatar could use the confusion of battle to finish the King, AND his daughter the Princess, or at least kidnap her. And plant evidence that it was US who did the deed, making us look like we're actually agents working for Overlord Capra to the entire kingdom!"

"Not to mention that Overlord Capra himself could use that distraction to prevent us from stopping him getting the remaining three pieces of the Onyx Crown, allowing him to stabilize and regain full control the Heart of Oblivion that grant him his power, from his City-Fortress of Doom, without needing to re-cast enchantments to hold its power back." Fluttershy added, having memorized the details of the campaign "Emm... so, yeah, it... could get even more worse. It's not like Overlord Capra has the means to plunge the land in eternal darkness yet!"

"Don't jinx it!" Pinkie admonished.

"Well, it looks like it's up to the Great and Powerful Sorceress to save the day!" Trixie declared, flaring her cape, filling in Twilight's place for the day, "All that could be prevented, if we work quick enough to deal with the army, and I had just the spell to do so!"

"Remind me again why is Trixie the sorceress?" Rarity asked Twilight, "I mean, wouldn't it be better for her to be a illusionist? Or a bard?"

Twilight shrugged, "Well, I can't stop her from picking whatever class she wants. Besides, she's doing well so far."

"It seems once again Rarity is doubting my skills! Well..." Trixie grinned "Prepare to be surprised, my nay-saying friend! I promise that when I am done, what would had been our doom, shall be our greatest triumph yet!"

"Fine, go ahead, do whatever you're planning to do," Rainbow Dash said, her expression bored, waving a hoof to emphasize what she truly felt of Trixie's boast "Like I said, at least it couldn't get any worse."

"As Trixie was saying," Trixie continued, after a glare at Rainbow Dash, "My sorceress is at the top floor of the highest castle spire, preparing a ritual."

"Roll for initiative." Twilight the DM recited.

Tongue sticking out and eyes narrowed in concentration, Trixie tossed the dice on the table with her telekinesis. The dice comes to a rest..."

"20! Perfect score!" Trixie whopped at her success. "I cast my spell - !"

"Oh! It must be a doozie!" Pinkie asked, almost bouncing from anticipation.

"- APOCALYPSE FROM THE SKY!"

There was silence at the table.

Trixie noticed how all the ponies were staring at her, eyes bulging out and jaws dropping.

Then, "Are you insane?!" Rarity suddenly shouted in horror, leaping up from her seat, "Did you know what you just done?!"

"What? It's a perfectly legal spell!" Trixie defended, "My character got enough levels for it too! Three levels more than that, in fact!"

"You mean an over-powered Destruction spell with a TWENTY MILES DESTRUCTION RADIUS?!" Twilight joined in with Rarity. In her neglect, she used the Royal Canterlot voice, which overturned the DM panel and nearly knocked everypony off their seats. "Everypony who plays O&O knows that spell is overpowered, and overkill! And that radius goes up per level! Not even the caster is safe!"

Trixie's face paled when she realizes the implications, she swore she read the spell list carefully...

"Yeah, Trixie knows, but... " She paused. Then, giving up trying to excuse herself, she asked "How bad?"

Twilight pulled the panel backed up, her visage grim as she runs some calculations and read through the manuals. It only got worst when she was done assessing the damage Trixie's character did.

"Well," Twilight began "Going by your levels, you wiped out the evil Overlord's army like you promised."

"Well, that's good, right?" Trixie said. She shrank back from Applejack's proverbial death glare.

"You also wiped out yourself, and your entire party..." Twilight continued.

"Won't be the first time Trixie unwittingly achieves a Total-Party-Kill..." Trixie admit. Rarity rolled her eyes.

"... And the capital city you're suppose to be protecting, along with the Great King, his daughter the princess, the good general, the few defenders, and pretty much the whole population." Twilight confirmed what everypony dreaded.

"Okay. Didn't mean for that to happen..."

"And the evil chancellor avatar of Overlord Carpa." Twilight added, almost as an afterthought.

"Well, at least my sorceress achieved ONE successful strike against Overlord Carpa!" Trixie claimed. This time, everypony except Pinkie and Fluttershy death glared at her, but she continued. "Doesn't violently severing a magic-user's link to his or her avatar causes a magic backlash that could knock out the controller, at least in this campaign setting, and more damage per level? Given Overlord Carpa is level 21..."

"True, but I'm not finished." Twilight explained, "It is true that you managed to knock him out for months and wound him substantially. But during that time, he wasn't able to do the warding ritual that only he knows to keep the Heart of Oblivion's power from going out of control. Without the wards, the Heart of Oblivion undergoes meltdown, and explodes, taking Overlord Capra, his minions, and his City-Fortress with it as it expands..."

"Let me guess, the entire kingdom?" Trixie asked, hoping beyond hope.

"The entire continent." Twilight finished. Then she realizes something else, and added "And to add insult to injury, it also rips open the barrier between the physical plane and that of the Stygian Abyss, where Overlord Capra was summoning Stygian Horrors from, allowing said monsters to swarm into the physical plane and overrun the rest of the world."

"... Whoops." That's all Trixie could say.

"Wow, a 2.0 on the total plot derailment scale!" Pinkie quipped as all the other players groaned or face-hoofed, "This is going to be one for the records!"

Session 1.8 (Ardashir)

Discord sniffed. "What? What did I do wrong NOW?"

"Discord, darling," Rarity said, one of her eyes twitching, "you are supposed to be playing a paladin. A Knight in Shining Armor..."

"And don't I look like one?" Discord passed a claw before his face, turning into Twilight's big brother. But even he flinched at what came next.

"Knights in Shining Armor do NOT club the princess unconscious as she begs them to save her from the forced marriage to the Wicked Shadow King to save her country, rather than her One True Love, and then hand her over!" Rarity's mane hung around her face and she had her forehooves on the table as she shrieked the words into Discord's face.

"You mean she wasn't some shapeshifting love-sucking bug monster, like at the Royal Wedding?"

Rarity facehoofed.

Discord sniffed."Oh, you've done nothing but complain about my chivalric deeds the whole night through! 'Discord, you can't backstab the treasurer for extra bits.' 'Discord, you can't agree to meet your rival in a tourney and then have him poisoned the night before.' 'Discord, you can't bring real monsters to the table..."

"I strongly resent this treatment!" The demilich Poncererak yelled from underneath the core rulebook laying against him. They all ignored him. He shook with fury. "Did I possess even a fraction of my magical might, I would consume your souls and revel!"

"Watch it there, pardner," Applejack warned him. "Or we're gonna give ya to the CMC and let Sweetie give ya another makeover."

Poncererak shuddered. "I'll be good," he said weakly.

Session 1.9 (Endrel1110)

"Ugh," Rainbow Dash groaned, "This game is so boring!"

"Yeah! Why the heck are we letting Fluttershy be the Dungeon Master?" said Gilda.

Currently the game had taken the players to a meadow that had no monsters in it what-so-ever.

"Oh hush," Scolded Discord, "I think this game has been absolutely lovely, even if I'm a Monk this time."

"Besides, I thought we needed a break after you, Pinkie, and Dash all got to be consecutive Dungeon Masters." Twilight explained.

Fluttershy spoke up, "Uh-uh, o-okay, s-so you walk out of t-t-the meadow, and come up to a-a-an animal reserve."

Session 1.10 (Ardashir)

Applejack blinked. "Wait now, Fluttershy, d'ya mean ta say that accordin' to the rules, if some bad guy gets bit by a GOOD lycanthrope, he BECOMES good?"

"Er, well, yes," Fluttershy said. "Right now Mister Werebear is looking at you and saying, 'My thanks for saving my honey bees from those nasty goblins. Is there any way I can repay you'?"

Applejack rubbed her chin and grinned. "Hey, remember them two crooks back in town? Flim and Fla -- I mean Skim and Skam?"

"Yes, but you don't mean -- oh dear."

"He said ANY way ta repay us!"

A little while later.

"Um, okay, Mister Bear bit Skim and Skam and the," Fluttershy blushed, "the nasty Changeling, I mean Succubus Queen, and that big meanie Moonlight Shimmer, and now they're all good, but he says you'll be ruining the balance between predators and prey if he makes anypony else into a werebear."

"Yeesh, AJ, kinda vindictive there, huh?"

"Not everypony can get zapped with th' Elements o' Harmony, Rainbow."

Session 1.11 (Alex Warlorn)

Spike patted Element of Kindness on the shoulder. "Fluttershy, you've got to remember the golden rule."

Fluttershy looked up at him. "Do unto others as you'd have done unto you?"

Spike shook his head. "No, no, no. 'The Dungeon Master is always right.' "

Fluttershy tapped her chin. "Hmmmmm."

And So At The next Game

"Your enter a beautiful glade, where you encounter Dusty Rose, Queen of the Flutterponies. She makes a diplomacy check upon seeing you."

"Wait wait," Twilight said, "Don't you mean we have to make a diplomacy check?"

Fluttershy shook her head. "Nope, she's the one making the check."

"NPCs can't make diplomacy checks on our characters," Rainbow Dash protested.

"I say she can," Fluttershy said in a calm firm voice. Fluttershy rolled the dice. "And let's see, you all go from indifferent to helpful."

"HEY!" Gilda protested. "I was hostile!"

"No you weren't," Fluttershy said.

"Of course I'm hostile! My character hates Flutterponies!"

Applejack said. "Ya got into a cider drinking contest with one at that tavern, told 'em they were cool after. And you helped Dash save that filly flutterpony from the ogre chief."

"Not helping!" Gilda said in a cross between a whisper and a growl.

"Well, now that you're all helpful to the Flutterpony Queen, she asks you politely to help her bring kindness and love across the land," Fluttershy smiled.

"Don't we get a saving throw?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"It's not an enchantment, she's just so nice and likable and good at diplomacy that you all want to help her to the best of your ability." Fluttershy smiled wider and wider. "And help everypony in the land adopt a pet, and ensure everypony is nice to each other, you'll help bring about paradise!" Fluttershy let out a laugh similar to the one she cackled when setting a trap for animals at the Grand Galloping Gala.

"Uh, was that the Flutterpony Queen speaking, or you?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"I think I've created a monster," Spike whispered.

Session 1.12 (Ardashir)

The ponies and Gilda all looked at each other.

"Time for an intervention," Rarity said. She want around the table to Fluttershy. "Fluttershy, darling, maybe you can step back down and let somepony else run the game for a bit?" Fluttershy gave her a somewhat crazed look. Rarity added in a hurry, "Besides, you said you wanted to try out that new class, the Summoner? The one with the pet monster?"

"That's true," Fluttershy said, her voice going soft again. She accompanied Rarity. "So who's going to be running the game now?"

"Ah might as well got for it." Applejack trotted around the table to the DM's seat. "Be mah first time at bat."

The ponies and Gilda looked at each other uneasily.

"Let her go," Twilight said. "What can possibly go wrong?"

Session 1.13 (Kendell2)

"Wow, that's the fifth time you've been sent back to the spawn, Rainbow Dash," Applejack remarked. "Right after leaving it!"

"The zombies are farming me!" Rainbow Dash lamented, her Rogue getting killed by an army of Zombies the moment it left spawn for a sixth time.

"Um...Farming you?" Fluttershy asked, cocking her head.

"You know, waiting for me to respawn so they can kill me!" the Rainbow maned pegasus snarled. "Which is what players are supposed to do when the GM makes an area where monsters keep spawning! Not the monsters to the player!"

"All because Discord decided to sell that artifact to a peddler when we promised the Warden of Tartarus we'd return it to him," Applejack pointed out. "Yah shouldn't have done that."

Discord rolled his eyes. "Oh come now, since when does giving the lord of the undead ANYTHING ever turn out well?"

"When Twilight's the game master and a stickler for mythology?" Pinkie Pie asked. In this case, the Warden of Tartarus was just that, the Warden.

"I'm being farmed by zombies because the Warden can't keep them sealed in Tartarus!" Rainbow Dash pointed out. "FINALLY!" she exclaimed, getting her escape roll and finally getting away from the zombies.

"See? Everything worked out well," the Draconequus pointed out...then rolled a one on his defense roll and ended up getting killed by the boss, sent back to spawn...and then getting killed by the zombies the second he stepped out of it. "...Oh horseapples..."

"And due to un-Paladin-like behavior, you're penalized until you redeem yourself," Twilight pointed out.

Session 1.14 (BrutalityInc)

"Wait a darn second, ah thought we were playin' Ogres and Oubliettes, not Stars and Spaceships!" Applejack exclaimed, when she noticed what module this new campaign they were playing was, "So why teh sudden sci-fi twist of this module?"

"The 'Mages of the Mountains' company published several RPGs set in the universe of 'Space Quest' a couple of years back, for O&O Edition 3 to 3.5 on the d20 system." Spike explained, rubbing the back of his head, "It was pretty popular like the actual film franchise, and we never ran a Sci-Fi campaign before, so I thought we might try it out."

"Actually, it's more accurate to call it Space Fantasy, or Science Fantasy, what with all the bad science they used" Twilight Sparkle corrected with a huff. Then, she went into lecture mode, "In any case, I don't see anything wrong with it. In the world of speculative fiction, the line between Science Fiction and Fantasy is often blurred. Science fantasy is an attempt to mix them both together, and has been classified as a legitimate sub-genre of fantasy, just like High Fantasy, Low Fantasy, Dark Fantasy, Dying World, Sword and Sorcery, Wuxia, and the rest."

"I can see the similarities." Rarity admitted, looking through the manual, grazing every detail with expert eyes of a seamstress, "Here instead of magic, we have psionics. Instead of normal swords, you have 'light-blades'. Castles and dungeons are replaced with orbital star-fortresses and abandoned space colonies. The Paragon Order sounds like an order of paladins. And many of the alien monsters look like expies of fantasy monsters.

"Don't get me started on the Space Quest storyline," Shining Armor, who came over with his wife Princess Cadence on a sibling visit, added. "A mechanic filly meeting an old Psion, who trained her in the ways of Psykers. Then she was sent off to rescue the dashing stallion leader of the Interstellar Resistance and joining their fight to save the Galactic Commonwealth from the invading fleets of the Nebula Queen? That sounds like your average fantasy hero to me!"

Applejack remained skeptical "Can't say Ah'm familiar with the franchise. Never got into Space Quest; seems too weird and fanciful fer my taste wi' all 'em fancy lasers, flyin' saucers and what-not."

"This coming from one of six mares who face dark magic, scary monsters, evil overlords and mad gods on a yearly basis?" Pinkie Pie quipped, earning her a glare from Applejack, which made her giggle even more, "Oh Applejack, you are such a silly filly sometimes."

"I would make such a lovely Space Princess, will I not?" Princess Cadence said, with a husky tone "Being held hostage by the agents of Dark Nebula Dominion to force my homeworld into compliance, waiting for a brave, handsome Paladin - I mean, Paragon Ranger in a shining space battle-suit, to come to her rescue?"

"Oooh, I like the way you think!" Shining Armor replied happily at his wife's suggestion, earning him a nuzzle.

"Aaaanyway, we're actually playing a module set between the Space Quest Prequel series and the Main series proper, called the 'Rise of Resistance' campaign." Spike said, trying to move things forward. "As it says, it tells the story of how the Interstellar Resistance came into being from worlds conquered by the Dark Nebulans, behind the front-lines of the Galactic War.

"Well, what are we waiting for? A colour out of space? Let's go play it!" Rainbow Dash was enthusiastic, being a Space Quest fan since she was young, "Dibs on the space pilot character! I always want to be starfighter pilot, and now I got a chance to play as one! I can't wait to bag myself some big cumbersome Void Cruisers!"

Session 1.15 (MtangaLion)

"What?!" Shining Armor jabbed a hoof towards Discord. "Why does he get to have a magic sword and telekinesis?" He crossed his forehooves, sulking. "I should get those."

Discord matched his pose mockingly. "Don't get snippy with me, mon capitan! You already called dibs on the space pirate."

"Paragon Knight!"

"Whatever!" Discord leaned towards Twilight and stage whispered, "I use the power of the Horse to give him a chainmail wedgie."

Shining Armor stood up. "Oh yeah? Well, I draw my mana blaster!"

Discord snickered, then guffawed, turning end over end in the air. "As if you could actually hit me."

This time, Shining smirked. "My mana blaster comes with a perfect aiming charm, and my Rogue's Initiative talent means that I always shoot first!"

"Preposterous! And believe me, I know preposterous."

Shining levitated a piece of paper right in Discord's face. "Says here right here on my character sheet! I open fire!"

"I deflect his pathetic mana blaster shots with my magic sword!"

Twilight sighed. "Boys... we haven't even started yet."

Session 1.16 (Alex Warlorn)

Spike slowly shook his head. "Sorry Rainbow Dash, you fail your grapple check against the Veggie-pygmies Applejack and Pinkie Pie, and they drag you towards the transformative Rust Mold remains of the Veggie-Pygmy Chief."

"Come on girls!" Rainbow looked at her two friends at the table. "You girls aren't really gonna really do this to me are you? Shouldn't you get a saving-throw or something to resist wanting to turn me into a fungus pony too?!"

"Sorry Dashie," Pinkie Pie said apologetically. "Spike promised our new characters would get experience and point bonuses if we role played our characters after they were turned into miniature vegetable ponies."

"Technically, they're fungoids," Twilight Sparkle said.

"Whatever! Spike! I hold my breath as long as I can and don't stop struggling!"

"Spike! I'm tickling Rainbow Dash!" Pinkie Pie grinned.

"Oh, come on!" Rainbow Dash groaned. "At least let me roll a fort save to see if I resist the tickling."

"I'll allow that," Spike said.

The dice were not Rainbow Dash's friend today.

"Sorry again Rainbow, you laugh out loud, in-hale the spores, and begin your transformation into the latest happy member of the Veggie-Pygmy Tribe community."

"Agh! We wouldn't be in this mess if you hadn't bucked that Veggie-Pygmy Chief Applejack!"

"Hey! They ambushed us! And how was Ah supposed ta know that would happen? . . . Besides, Ah failed my knowledge check so Twilight couldn't tell me out of character that was a bad idea."

Rainbow nearly banged her head against the table, but collected herself.

"Soooo, you said I get extra building points and XP for my next character if I role play mushroomed-pony-me right?" Rainbow asked eying the 'non-mushroomed' members of the adventure party.

"Oh dear," Fluttershy whimpered.

"And you all said that enchanted fungus resistant/protection against plants cape was a waste of gold pieces," Rarity said smirking.

"Joke's on you Rarity," AJ grinned. "Fungus ain't technically plants."

"Actually, the game doesn't differentiate," Spike said matter-of-fact. "Rarity's protected."

"Ah call favoritism!" Applejack said.

"Actually, he's right, that is in the rule book," Twilight admitted.

"Saved from a fungal makeover by fashion!" Rarity said triumphantly. "I'll be certain to tell your successors how you were heroically turned into tribal fungus ponies."

"Just be sure to leave out that natural one I rolled," Rainbow Dash said.

"Far be it from me to not honor you last request darling."

Session 1.17 (Ardashir)

My Little Toadstool, My Little Toadstool....

"And now the be-fungied ponies turn towards you three as well," Spike laughed as malevolently as a young dragon could laugh as he pointed at the last three unconverted members of the party.

"Hey, wait!" Princess Cadence pointed a hoof at Discord and Shiny and herself. "Isn't there something we can do to help? I mean, this can't be irreversible, can it?"

"If you have a 'Wish' spell somewhere, yeah," Spike said. "Otherwise it's Mushroom City."

Cadence and Shining Armor both looked dismayed.

"Oh, stop worrying," Discord waved one claw and everypony and -dragon at the table turned into a mushroom. They quivered in horror as he said, "I asked my old buddy the Smooze about it, and he said most fungi are really fun guys! Get it? Get it?"

The mushrooms said nothing. They merely glared at him. Somehow.

"Oh, fine!" Discord waved his claw again and everyone turned back to normal. "And to think, I waste material like this on such an audience. Genius is never appreciated."

Twilight just sighed and took out her notebook. "And one more entry for the 'Things Discord Is Not Permitted To Do At The Table Ever Again' book..."

Session 1.18 (BrutalityInc)

"I cast healing spell!" Pinkie Pie declared.

"No."

"I use healing potion!" Pinkie said in response.

"You can't do that."

"I invoke - !" Pinkie tried a third time, but is interrupted by the DM poking her head above the DM panel.

"Pinkie Pie, we're playing a zombie apocalypse campaign... set in the Human world." Sunset Shimmer, who took advantage of a term break to come back through the mirror, explained with as much calm as she could muster in her frustration, "As far as I know, I and your counterparts are the only ones with any magic left at Canterlot High, after we defeated the Sirens, and we're not playing our counterparts now!"

At this, Pinkie seems to deflate a bit. "I... er... apply first-aid kit?"

Sighing, Sunset Shimmer went back to her panel. "Roll for a skills check."

Session 1.19 (Ardashir with edits by Alex Warlorn)

"And the behir swallowed you whole! Monster drool is everywhere, including your mane and tail!" Spike said, proving his impartialness as Dungeon Master.

Rarity shrieked. "My mane and tail?!? I CAST EXPLOSIVE FIREBALL!"

"But you're inside it!"

"My friends can heal my burns, but NOTHING is touching a three-hour mane job!"

Session 1.20 (Richforce)

"You enter the dungeon and find a rusty dagger, a simple wand and a small club." said Diamond Tiara who was serving as the game master while Twilight was refereeing the foals she was teaching O&O.

"A stick that's stupid," said Sweetie Belle.

"It's not a stick it's a small club. You're the ones who didn't want to get any equipment before leaving town. I'm trying to help."

"Ah told you," said AppleBloom. "As an apple the only weapons I need are Mister Bucky and his wife Eliane."

"My character is a unicorn," said Scootaloo. "Why would I even need a wand?"

"And I was going make the monsters surrender with my hypnotic dance!" said Sweetie Belle.

"Just use the weapons," said Silver Spoon whose ranger was the only one who shopped in town.

Then the sound of crunching rang through the room.

"Dazzle!" Diamond yelled to her little black cat. "The dice are not candy! Quit trying to eat them!"

"Meow, meow, rowr, meow! (then they shouldn't have made them look so tasty!)" said Dazzle.

"Diamond calm down and get back to the game." said Twilight.

"Ok," said Diamond taking a deep breath. "You all encounter a Dire Rat. What do you do?"

Silver Spoon spoke first. "I draw an arrow and..."

"I summon Sword Blaster Knight!" said Button Mash as he laid a card with a futuristic pony knight on the table.

"What are ya'll doing here again?" asked Applebloom.

"I wanted to try one of my dad's games, but I prefer my Joyboy and Duel Ponies."

"No cards Button," said Twilight.

"But I'm the local champion!"

"No!" said Diamond. "Look, I'll kill the rat for you and give you guys its experience points. The way you've all been going it would have slaughtered you."

Sweetie hummed for a second while thinking. "I tie the rat's tail to the stick."

"What?"

"It's a rat-flail!"

"Absolutely not!"

"Come on, it's awesome!" said Scootaloo.

"No, it's stupid."

"Pulleeez?" asked Sweetie.

"Fine! The dead rat gives you the plague and you die!"

"Diamond!" scolded Twilight.

"Can I have her items?" asked Button.

"No you can't have the rat-flail!" Diamond said looking like she her head was about to explode. "You know what? You die too!" She picked up Dazzle and headed for the door. "You all drop dead!"

Dazzle coughed up the dice just as Diamond slammed the door behind her.

A few moments of tense silence passed.

Twilight sighed. "I knew I should have started you off on Settlers of Coltan."

Session 1.21 (Trooper924)

"Alright," said Octavia setting up the Dungeon Master's Screen as Lyra, Bon Bon, Doctor Hooves, Vinyl Scratch and Derpy took a seat at the table. "Princess Twilight has been kind enough to let us use her game room for tonight's session since my place is--" Octavia's eye twitched. "--currently indisposed."

"I don't know what went wrong," said Derpy, looking down guilty. "And I didn't know that Vinyl's sound system could be turned up that loud."

"Anyways," Octavia continued. "Let's just get right to it then." She turned to the two newest players, Lyra and Derpy. "I trust that you two know how this works?"

"Oh yeah," said Lyra, setting her character sheet on the table. "I watch Bonnie play this all the time. I think I got the jist of it."

"Doc told me how to play last night," said Derpy, eagerly clapping her hooves. "I can't wait to play! Yahtzee! All in! Uno!"

"And I'll help her if she gets confused by anything," Time Turner quickly added seeing the look on Octavia's face.

"This campaign is going to be a nightmare," Bon Bon whispered to Vinyl Scratch who nodded in agreement.

"Alright, let's get started," said Octavia, shuffling through her notes. "Now where did I put that campaign intro...?"

Session 1.22 (Endrel1110)

A new game had started, and to everypony's shock Discord hadn't pulled out the wheel of classes.

"Finally finished with being a goody-two, uh, appendages?" said Gilda, who was Dungeon Master this time.

"Like that was stopping me before, this time, I'm going to be an Animal Summoner!" exclaimed Discord.

"Oh, well, okay then, you finally can do something crazy and not be penali-" Gilda started, but Discord interrupted with, "So I can be The Rat King!"

"Wait, you're going to summon dire rats only?" said Twilight, confused.

"No, I'm going to summon regular old rats." Discord then went on about how his character was flushed down a toilet and was raised by the rats in the sewer, he even brought his 'Dad' as a starter animal.

Upon hearing this Gilda started laughing uncontrollably and said, "Alright, alright, I am going to allow this."

=A few hours later=

The party had come upon what looked like a jumping puzzle, with a switch at the end to allow others to cross, however, everyone had taken damage earlier, and none were fit enough to jump, until Discord came up with a solution. "I ask Twilight to levitate Dad over to the other end, and have him pull the switch!"

After taking an intelligence roll, and getting a fifteen, Twilight now had to do her magic roll, and sadly for the flowering Rat Royalty, she rolled a one.

Gilda saw this, and got an evil grin on her face, "Ratcord's Dad starts levitating in the air, slowly, but then he shoots upwards, instantly killing him!"

Discord had a chaotically melodramatic reaction, "FATHER, NOOOOOO! WHY TWILIGHT? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH A POOPY MAGE!?"

Twilight whispered to herself, confused, "Poopy? What!?"

Then Discord said, "On account of Twilight killing my Animal Summoner's surrogate animal father, I attack her!" to which Twilight yelled, "WHAT!?"

Discord yelled back "You shouldn't have rolled a one Enoby!"

After that happened, Discord rolled low on the attack roll, and the party ended up passing on through, Discord was even able to do the ritual to summon another rat, whom he said was his cousin Jake, though every time Twilight got a one on anything, Gilda would say "Then Jake started floating in the air."

Session 1.23 (Alex Warlorn)

"Twili', Ah'm might surprised ya let Trixie have a turn at bein' DM."

"There's nothing wrong with letting her have a turn Applejack."

"I imagine dear Applejack is just concerned darling that Trixie may . . . take her role a little too zealously," Rarity said.

"Girls I'm surprised at you. We let Gilda have a turn, so there's nothing wrong with letting Trixie be Dungeon Master. It's not like she's going to make us prostrate before her in real life every time we level up. No, I'm serious, she won't. And Shining told me she was the perfect pony to Dungeon Master this kind of game."

"Why isn't that encouraging?" Fluttershy whispered.

"This'll be really cool or a disaster, either way it'll be fun now, or a big laugh when we look back on it!" Pinkie Pie sincerely smiled.

"Pst! I can take anything Trixie can dish out!" Rainbow Dash said.

"Famous last words," Twilight said. Spike wasn't there to comment as he was off playing another game with Shining Armor, Cadence, Gilda, Discord and Flash Sentry.

Trixie trotted in, grinning ear to ear. None of the ponies were reassured by it. "Greetings citizens! It is I, Your Great and Powerful Friend, The Computer."

She sat behind the DM screen. "Welcome from clone defrosting and to Alpha Complex, where everything is fine, everypony is happy, and there are no secret societies or mutants or communists, or traitors, anything of note outside. Not being happy is treason. Traitors shall be vaporized. You have been selected to act as Trouble Shooters, to find trouble in Alpha Complex and shoot it."

"If there ain't no trouble here, than why do ya need us to shoot it?"

Trixie didn't miss a beat. "Suggesting everything is not fine in Alpha Complex is treason, traitors are vaporized. Applejack No 2, your first assignment is to swept and dispose of the ashes of Applejack No 1. You have five more clones in reserve for this mission."

"HEY! Can she DO THAT?!" Applejack asked Twilight.

"She actually can according to the rule book on page 31-"

"Rule Book? Page 31? Such information is above your clearance level, Red-rank, accessing information above your clearance level is treason, traitors are vaporized by your great and powerful friend the computer. Please clean up the mess of Twilight No 1, Twilight No 2."

" . . . That's in the rule book too." Twilight sighed.

"And how would you know that citizen? Accessing unauthorized information is treason. And welcome to the team Twilight No. 3, your have two piles of ashes to clean up."

"You kinda walked into that one." Rainbow Dash sniggered.

A while later into the game.

"The Green Rank you've been sent to execute tells you in response to go jump off a cliff."

"Ah ain't jumpin' off no cliff!"

"You have ignored a direct order from a higher rank citizen, that is treason, you are vaporized by your Great and Powerful Friend The Computer."

"AH DANGIT!"

Twilight said, "We storm him wearing ear plugs."

"He holds up a sign telling you to shoot yourselves."

"I shoot the sign, did any of you see any sign? No? Then clearly he's lying if he says there was a sign!" Rainbow Dash said. Since Applejack's clone hadn't arrived yet with the uplink to Friend Computer.

And later still . . .

"Is everypony happy?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Yes we're happy." "Yes darling." "Yeah sure." "Ah'm happy." "..."

"TRAITOR!" Pinkie Pie grinned and pointed at Fluttershy.

"Good work Happiness Officer Pinkie Pie, you have uncovered a traitor. You are promoted up a rank by your friend the computer."

Fluttershy whimpered. Pinkie Pie hugged her.

"Now I get to throw you ANOTHER happy birthday party Fluttershy! And now I'm a total ten minutes older than you!" Pinkie said, her previous clone having gone to the big party store in the sky after crashing their air car into the Frankenpony Destroyers rally.

More Later

"What you mean there are no bunnies? What about flowers or trees?" Fluttershy exclaimed.

"And how do you know these things exist citizen? Clearly you have exited Alpha Complex without permission or are in league with one who is. This is treason. Traitors are vaporized. Welcome to the team Fluttershy No. 3."

More More Later

"And so you see, as Equipment Officer, these accessories increase the self confidence and effective of Trouble Shooters, and is no way treasonous or an attempt to subvert the color ranking system, which is an oxymoron, since there is no treason in Alpha Complex, my dear friend the computer. And I think some curtains and gems will look lovely on your view screen housing."

" . . . Your friend . .. the computer . . . finds your suggestions . .. acceptable . . . which means Applejack committed treason by accusing you of treason. Traitors are vaporized."

AJ knew what was coming an grumbled marking off Applejack No. 4.

And more later

"For you exemplary loyalty to your friend the computer, Loyalty Officer Rainbow Dash, your are promoted to Yellow, Rainbow Dash No. 1."

Applejack No. 5 grumbled.

Suddenly Fluttershy shouted. "I set off the bombs I bought from the black market right there! FOR THE Sierra club! For the bunnies!"

Everypony's jaw dropped, and stared at Fluttershy, who suddenly blushed and sat down.

"Uh . . . can I get another promotion for dying in the line of duty?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"This is why I joined The International Workers of the World instead... whoops." Pinkie Pie said, already marking off Pinkie Pie No. 3 and no.4 on her character sheet as Trixie announced her joining her previous clones in the Alpha Complex dust bin.

"All hail the First Church of Celestia, Computer Programmer. We love and worship our friend the computer," Rainbow Dash said.

"You will be vaporized . . . when your good friend the computer can get around to it sometime," Trixie said.

"This game has been totally fun! We should play some more!" Rainbow clapped her hooves.

Rainbow Dash got death glares all around.

Session 1.24 (Ardashir)

"Oh yes." Trixie grinned an evil grin. "Here is the new and improved laser rifle from Research and Development. Friend Computer INSISTS you use it on whatever dirty Hooviet mutant traitors you come across. It needs a field test."

"Uh, okay," Applejack looked at the smug Trixie. "Hey, how do we use this here rifle?"

"You are not cleared for that information. Asking for information above your security rating is..."

Applejack snorted. "Ah know! Ah'll clean up the ashes."

"Don't take it too badly, Applejack," Twilight said, mentally reminding herself to stay far away from anypony who used that weapon. "Maybe it'll be useful. I mean definitely! Definitely useful!" She flinched as Trixie turned a cold gaze on her. "In case we run across any dirty Hooviet mutant traitors! Which will never ever happen, because everypony in Alpha Complex loves Friend Computer! Heh."

"Dear, I am not getting near Applejack while she carries that thing." Rarity whispered to Fluttershy.

Some time later...

"Great job killing us all, Applejack!"

"What? How was AH supposed ta know that we'd get a laser rifle that fired in every direction at once?? What kinda dimwit makes a weapon like that, anyhow?"

"Calling Research and Development dimwits is --"

"AH SHOOT MAHSELF! There, Ah executed the traitor!"

Trixie blinked. "That's right. You did. Congratulations on your promotion, Applejack-Yellow-1!"

Session 1.25 (Richforce, The game here is based on the Shadowrun franchise.)

“What is the name of this game again?” Applejack asked Lightning Dust who had come over to mend fences.

“Nightrunner,” Dust answered. “It’s a skill based system in a world that mixes magic with advanced technology and mostly run by megacorporations. You take the role of a nightrunner who these companies hire to spy on and sabotage their rivals.”

“Sounds a little dark,” said Twilight.

“I usually play as a rebel of sorts, using the system to change it from the inside.”

“Looks cool to me,” said Rainbow Dash. “I think I’d like try for Street Samurai type skills, using cybernetics to kick flank sounds awesome!”

“Anything non-violent I can do?” asked Fluttershy.

“You could use Hacker skills,” said Dust. “They are very important, they can manipulate computer networks which are pretty much everywhere in this setting. Or you could go be a Face, they’re negotiators and confidence tricksters.”

“Oh, that sounds like fun!”

“And I like to be a hacker!” said Pinkie Pie.

“Looks like there a couple of different ways to use magic as well,” said Rarity. “I think I know what character I want so let’s begin when you are ready.”

+

Dust was sitting behind the game master’s screen. “Congratulations Fluttershy, you’re negotiation with the ghost in the basement server room had calmed her down and she is ready to pass on.”

“Oh that’s good,” said Fluttershy. “Twilight would please help her do that?”

“Sure,” said Twilight. “I open a portal so the ghost can pass on.”

“The ghost moves through the portal,” said Dust. “Unfortunately the energy from the spell has triggered the building’s mana detectors which in turn has set off the alarms. A squad of six Ork security guards storm into room and two security drones have been activated.”

“What sort of company hides cybernetic enhancement schematics in a hunted building and then loads it with orks and robots?!” asked Rainbow.

“One with something to hide?” said Pinkie.

“I head into cover,” said Fluttershy.

“I hide in servers and begin my hack,” said Pinkie.

“The system has three security layers over the data you’ve been hired to collect,” said Dust. “You’ll have to bypass them one at a time.”

“While orks shoot at us?” said Rainbow.

“Our job is to buy her time to get in and then make our escape,” said Twilight. “I erect an energy shield to protect Fluttershy and Pinkie. I know I won’t be able to use my spells to fight back while doing this but they need the help.”

“I attack the orks,” said Rainbow.

“And I help her after using my adept magic to improve my hoof-to-hoof combat abilities,” said Rarity.

“That’s good for the Orks,” said Twilight. “But those drones will be tough while I’m covering Pinkie and Shy.”

“And me,” said Applejack. “But don’t worry, I’m there to use my Rigger skills to take control of one of the drones.”

“That should even the odds,” said Rarity.

“Ok, your checks are successful,” said Dust. “Rainbow and Rarity has successfully inflicted damage on two of the orks, Applejack has control of the drone and Pinkie is past the first layer.”

“Great!” said Twilight.

“Don’t celebrate too soon. The next two layers only get harder to crack and other security is bound to be one its way from the corporate regional HQ.”

“Ok,” said AJ. “Ah’ll fire the drone’s minigun at the other drone. RD and Rarity will be attacking the guards again.”

“Beginning to hack second layer,” said Pinkie.

“Fluttershy why don’t you try getting the access hatch we came in back open?” said Twilight. “With the ghost gone it should be able to move.”

“Got it,” said Fluttershy.
The six's teamwork had knocked out two more Orks, destroyed the remaining drone and left one more layer of security.

“Ok working on that last layer,” said Pinkie.

“I have the last two guards,” said Rarity.

“And I attack the drone AJ’s holding back with my laser katana!” said Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow made a successful roll.

“Rainbow no!” said Twilight. “If a rigger is controlling a device when it is severely damage they lose consciousness!”

“Thanks a lot Rainbow!” said Applejack.

“So we just carry her out when we leave,” said Rainbow.

“Actually,” said Dust. “The destruction of the second drone triggers a total lockdown of the building. Pinkie was rendered unconscious when the server was shut down, heavy shutter doors closed off all paths to the outside including the access hatch and security forces are still on the way.”

“Ok,” said Twilight. “Since my portals only open to the spiritual plane when they get there I surrender myself to the security in hopes for leniency for my friends.”

“Same here,” said Fluttershy.

“I will as well since we’ll be outnumbered,” said Rarity.

“I would if I wasn’t knocked out,” said Applejack.

“Me too,” said Pinkie.

“Ok,” said Rainbow. “We have a corporate sponsor to point the hoof at. They could let us go for pointing the hoof.”

“The megacorp you work for would disavow any deals with you or knowledge of your actions,” said Dust. “I hope you have good lawyers.”

Session 1.26 (MtangaLion)

Maud Pie stared at the miniatures on the game board for a full minute before she spoke. "My bard tells King Daystar a joke."

Rarity blinked, but recovered quickly. "Roll a charisma check, darling."

Maud picked up the quartz 20-sided die, then blew on it, as if she'd just remembered that was a thing ponies sometimes did. She tossed it and rolled a twenty. Again.

Rarity twitched. "King Daystar laughs uproariously, impressed that a mere mortal could tell such a funny joke. He demands that you tell him another one!"

Maud rolled again. Twenty.

Rarity glared. "Daystar forgets to order the infantry charge because he's... ugh... rolling on the grass laughing his head off. Oh, but wait! His son, Prince Oppression, is offended that the joke was about him, and charges at you, sword drawn!"

Big Mac opened his mouth to say what his paladin would do, but Maud spoke first, not noticing him. "I step aside and trip him."

Rarity started grinding her teeth. "Dexterity check." Maud rolled *another* twenty.

Applejack grabbed the die, squinting at it. "Those rolls ain't natural, if ya know what Ah mean."

Rainbow Dash grinned. "I think that rock..." She slipped on a pair of tinted flight goggles. "... has a crush on her."

Big Mac sighed. "Eeeyup..."

Author's Note

Session 1.0 (Alex Warlorn)
Session 1.1 (Ardashir,SomeRandomMinion)
Session 1.2 (Endrel1110 with edits by Alex Warlorn)
Session 1.3 (Kendell2,Ardashir)
Session 1.4 (Ardashir)
Session 1.5 (Ardashir)
Session 1.6 (Richforce)
Session 1.7 (BrutalityInc)
Session 1.8 (Ardashir)
Session 1.9 (Endrel1110)
Session 1.10 (Ardashir)
Session 1.11 (Alex Warlorn)
Session 1.12 (Ardashir)
Session 1.13 (Kendell2)
Session 1.14 (BrutalityInc)
Session 1.15 (MtangaLion)
Session 1.16 (Alex Warlorn)
Session 1.17 (Ardashir)
Session 1.18 (BrutalityInc)
Session 1.19 (Ardashir with edits by Alex Warlorn)
Session 1.20 (Richforce) (Based of a VG Cats comic, Dazzle belongs to MagerBlutooth)
Session 1.21 (Trooper924)
Session 1.22 (Endrel1110)
Session 1.23 (Alex Warlorn)
Session 1.24 (Ardashir)
Session 1.25 (Richforce)
Session 1.26 (MtangaLion)
Session 1.27 (Kendell2)
Session 1.28 (Alex Warlorn)

Session 3

Session 3.0 (Kendell2)

"Uh..." Rainbow Dash muttered, looking at the long complicated list of combinations. "Twilight, we're supposed to be playing an RPG, not solving puzzles."

"Oh, that's not a puzzle, that's how you craft research nodes!" Twilight, the GM, replied with a smile.

"Ah think we got 'em mixed up..." said Applejack, rubbing her head. "We're supposed to be doing the first one."

"No, that is the first one," Twilight replied.

Rainbow cocked her head, looking over things. "Uh...So I mix this...thing with this thing...and...like that?"

"No, you need all three to link up," Twilight advised. "Only one side of it correct."

"Ugh...why is this so complicated!"

"Got it!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, holding up her's.

"How did YOU do that?" Rainbow questioned.

"Freaky photographic memory, remember?" Applejack asked.

"Ugh!"

Session 3.1 (Ardashir)

Nightmare Twilight gave a shriek as she raced through the door after the CMC.

Only to discover that they'd left a trail of banana peels underhoof leading right into the opposite wall. She tried putting on the brakes and found herself flying right at the wall.

Apple Bloom drew a door on the wall with crayon. Twilight's eyes bulged as they threw the door open and fled through it. Babs stopped long enough to give her a wave and a grin before she slammed it shut.

"Darn it girls! This is a palace, not a playground! I --!"

And Twilight gave a shriek as she slammed into the wall hard enough to be literally flattened.

The CMC slowly opened the door and looked down.

"Ya give up yet?"

Nightmare Twilight said nothing. She just magically raised a tiny white flag and waved it weakly.

"Yay!" The fillies danced for joy. "We saved Equestria! CMC Villain Catchers!" They turned to the Animator and said in one voice, "Thank you, Mister Discord!"

"Oh, think nothing of it, little fillies," Discord waved them towards the door leading outside, the real one. "Now go and have fun while we clean up in here."

The CMC raced outside as Discord snapped his fingers and turned everything back to normal, including Twilight.

"Oh, and thank you, Twilight for agreeing to play the villain for this little LARP of 'Escape from Nightmare Manor' for the fillies. You did such an oddly good job of being an obsessive and foolish Nightmare."

"Don't mention it," Twilight groaned. "Ever again."

Session 3.2 (ArcanissSupreme)

Twilight frowned as she glanced over her DM screen. She blinked again. Still refusing what she was seeing. She turned her head towards Discord whom simple responded by shrugging his shoulders. "Hey don't look at me, I for once have nothing to do with this." His eagle claw went into a bag of popcorn as it was clear he was enjoying the entire situation.

"Oh I wouldn't say that, because Trixcord is a part of you. Remember I told you all I'm the merged form of Trixie and Discord. Oh btw Sparkle my Arcane Trickster casts Balefull Polymorph on the Minotaur guard blocking our entrance." The pony Draconequus grinned as she grapped the dice with her lion paw and tossed it.

"20 again? That's 12 times in a row. Woh what are the odds? And Trixie knows your not cheating because natural Trixie has been watching you very closely the moment you and the others from different dimension appeared in front of us." Trixie smiled with devious grin similar to all the other mares at the table except for one.

That mare had a serene smile but humble smile. She played the groups Cleric with the magic and trickery as her chosen domeins. Twilight hadn't met the mare before but she had at least known of her existence when she had visited that mirror verse with her friends to help the good king sombra. Still it was kinda weird for Twilight to look at an Alicorn Trixie but not so much as the other mare at each side of her or more surprisingly the jewellery each of them wore.

The one that played the Eldritch Knight lifted up her character sheet in a blue glow. "You know this isn't my 1st dimension hop, though back then it was more accidental I entered another dimension and I didn't brought my element of magic either. I'm not even sure it's wise that I have it here considering what happened last time when I got my hooves on an element of magic in a different dimension. Also I was kinda busy with very important stuff as the night court representative of ponyvile"

"Oh don't lie to yourself Trixie Lulamoon. Trixcord found you sleeping with your head on your desk with a bottle of bourbon laying down on the floor." Said the last mare of the group whom played the groups bard, which also a Trixie from another dimension. Apparently this Trixie was Element of laughter in her own world and lived in Manehattan as well as being one of five closed friends of that worlds Twilight whom seemed to life there instead of ponyvile.

"Just call me Trixie please.... I hate the name Lulamoon." The Lunaverse Trixie said with blush on her face.

"Why? What is so wrong with our last name?" The Mirrorverse Trixie kindly asked.

"Mpf..... I was just teased a lot about it in magic kindergarten."

"Oh get over it and Twilight Trixie would like to know if Trixcord spell was successful or not. Because Trixie sorcerer will if it didn't summon an Ursa Major to take down the Minotaur."

"Wait that isn't going to fit inside the room we are silly." The Manehattenverse Trixie spoke with a gasp. "Oh good call natural the great and powerful Trixie was testing your knowledge and observation skills. You passed so Trixie will instead cast Lightning Bolt on that big junk of muscular beef jerky that's blocking our path."

Twilight groaned at least it was clear to anypony which one was her Trixie. Seriously why couldn't have any of the other Trixies been her worlds version. Lunaverse Trixie was way less boastful and flamboyant. Manehattanverse was way more friendlier then her Trixie and loved to joke around. The Mirrorverse Trixie was really her Trixie opposite in personality. Then there was Trixcord, okay Twilight had to admit of all the Trixies at the table, only Trixcord was worse then her own Trixie. She kinda fell pity towards the world that had to deal with a creature that was merge of the two most notorious tricksters Twilight had ever met. Perhaps her Trixie wasn't so bad after all.

Session 3.3 (Alex Warlorn)

A ripple wave effect waved over the young fillies as they stopped in the middle of their table top game.

Scootaloo said, "I could be playing outside instead of sitting at a table."

Sweetie Belle said, "We could be trying to improves ourselves or our lives instead of wasting what precious time life has given us."

Apple Bloom droned, "Instead we are throwing away our lives in trivial inane escapists pursuits and hiding from reality instead of trying to improve our reality."

Princess Twilight Sparkle sighed, and trotted over to the magic mirror. Standing there was a version of herself with glasses and a lab coat, grinning maniacally with a small device with a satellite dish on the end, that was the source of the ripple effect. Twilight sternly knocked the device out of her other self's hooves, and pointed back towards the mirror. The other Twilight pouted sadly and reluctantly returned to whence she came with device in tow.

Session 3.4 (Master Weaver)

"...so we got to talking about the various systems he encountered, and Shining mentioned something that sounded really interesting. I did a little digging, and voila!" Twilight slammed down a stack of papers with a clearly home-made binding.

"So..." Rainbow gave the walking box on the cover a look. "What's this about?"

"You play as robots after all of ponykind has mysteriously vanished," Twilight explained.

"Whoa! That sounds awesome! Are we like giant robots that fight in the cities or are we the skeletal soldier kind?"

"...neither. You're more like... ordinary, real world robots." She pointed at a disc buzzing by. "You know, like my Waxomatic, or maybe the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy six thousand."

Rainbow stared at the disk as it obliviously started bumping against a wall. "...really."

"I mean I guess you could be a gunbot," Twilight allowed, "with a little creativity, but the whole point is more a philosophical exploration of what it means to be a device in a world where your purpose is gone." She gave Rainbow Dash a worried look. "How about you join the rest of us girls for the first session, and if you don't like it we can have your character explode or whatever?"

"...alright, fine. But this better be awesome."

Session 3.5 (Ardashir)

"Okay Twilight, WHY did ya recommend we do this again?" Applejack looked down at her character sheet. "Ah'm what now, an 'alchemist'? Yeesh! Poison, bombs, extracts, mute-muta.."

"'Mutagens', dear," Rarity said. "They transform you into a lumbering brute.. More so than usual." Rarity tried and failed to look innocent as Applejack snorted. The unicorn looked at her own sheet and gasped. "A barbarian? Me? Some, some maddened savage wallowing in the gore of the battlefield?"

"Gee, Rare, when Ah think o' those cloth sales Ah seen ya at?" Now it was Applejack's turn to smile.

Across from them Fluttershy was paling at the sight of her own sheet.

"Oh dear! A, a rogue? Am I supposed to," she gulped, "stab ponies in the back?"

"An' me?" Dash frowned. "Some egghead casting spells? Uh, no offense, Twi, but when you said we should try something different I didn't think ya meant THIS different."

"On come on girls," Twilight said. She had to smile at her own sheet and showed the character art around the table of an ancient Pony winged hussar riding a white-maned blue unicorn who looked rather familiar. The others whickered laughter. "We always take the same characters and classes! Variety is the spice of life, let's do something different."

"Ooh!" Pinkie waved her sheet overhead. "That's why I'm a paladin, right? Instead of my usual beloved bard self?"

The rest shuddered as they remembered Pinkie's 'pun duels' in previous campaigns.

"Yes, that's one reason," Twilight got her very well-organized set of dice out. "Another is that we're starting a new campaign with a new GM."

"Huh? So not Spike this time around?" Dash sighed in relief. "Maybe we can get away from noble-hearted dragons that fall in love with a princess this time. Hey, I'm just saying, it got kind of tired."

"No, we have somepony else this time..."

"IS THE TABLE PREPARED?"

As everypony began coming down from the ceiling, they saw Princess Luna standing at its head, dressed in a simplified version of her royal barding.

"Twilight, you asked LUNA to GM?"

"Why not, Rarity?" Twilight settled back to the floor and caught AJ as she let go of the overhead chandelier. "Princess Luna actually lived through those times, she can make the adventure feel more realistic with her description."

As Twilight spoke a frowning Luna set the campaign notes aside.

"Very well! First we shall see if you survived the sicknesses and plagues of foalhood before you even started on your careers. What?" She said to the table full of unbelieving looks before her. "You DID ask for realistic, after all."

Session 3.6 (Ardashir With Edits)

Trixie was there again to adventure with the closest thing in the world she had to friends sans Babs Seed (and after the Manhattan adventure and Diamond Dog incident, would be heart broken to lose them), she had dropped by unannounced, as usual, to make a big entrance, as such, her friends weren't able to hide away the illustration of Twilight Sparkle's 'against type' character in time.

Trixie's eyes narrowed at the familiar looking blue unicorn carrying the purple princess like a beast of burden into battle.

"Is this meant to be a JOKE, Twilight Sparkle?!?"

"Oh, Trixie, please! It was only a joke. We're all adult mares here, it was done in the spirit of affection..."

"Oh it was, was it?" Trixie's horn began to glow. Twilight shrieked at the feel of Trixie's magic. "Then see how affectionate this feels!"

Soon after, Ponyville blinked in amazement to see Princess Twilight, bit in her mouth, blinders on her eyes, and a surly look on her face, pulling a small sulky around town.

"Oh, this is humiliating.." Twilight whinnied at the snap of a whip on her flanks.

"Now, now, Twilight," Trixie said innocently. "Remember, it's only a joke!"

Session 3.7 (Alex Warlorn)

The five ponies, and one griffin had read up on the setting, and had gotten together, and had written up their character for their epic sky pirate crew.

"Darling," Rarity asked looking through the guide book one last time before the game started. "According the back story, in this setting, Equestria has fragmented into several minor domains?"

"Yes." Twilight nodded.

"And they're constantly bidding for territory and supplies against each other?"

"Which is why there's such a big market for sky pirates."

"I see darling, I just find it rather implausible that logistically speaking, that these smaller states would have the resources to sustain such large factories and flying machines, there would be nothing resembling a stable economy, and-"

"Oh come on Rarity!" Rainbow snorted. "Twilight's the one who always sucks out the fun with meaningless little details like that."

Twilight Sparkle said nothing, least she give credit to what either of her friends had just said.

"Sorry darlings, I felt I needed to air my confusion some. And I also noted a complete lack of Princess Celestia mentioned here."

"Well, she doesn't really appear in this setting." Twilight said.

"Wait, if Princess Celestia and Princess Luna aren't around, whose raising and lowering the sun and moon?" Rainbow Dash asked.

Twilight Sparkle stopped. The golden rule of the dungeon master was never admit you made a mistake or that you didn't know the answer.

"She must be in hiding, still lowering and rising the sun and moon, waiting for her sister to return, poor thing." Fluttershy said. And Twilight silently thanked Fluttershy for filling in that plot hole for her.

"So I was wondering," Gilda asked, "What's the horse-meat market like with no Celestia and ponies being in as much a divided broken mess as the griffins?"

Twilight Sparkle stared. Then grinned, hair springing out of place. "WELL! Let's hurry and play!"

Several sessions later. Pinkie Pie had proven a very effective gunner, building bigger and better party canons. But their latest raid, while their biggest haul ever (enough to buy them a new ship and several smaller ones), had come at a cost.

"WHAT DO yoU MEAN Gilda and I are grounded?!" Rainbow Dash barked.

"It's what I said, Fluttershy can't heal your wings, that explosion damaged them too extensively, you're going to have to fly in planes if you want to continue taking to the skies."

"But-BUT! We don't have skill points in that!!!" Gilda shrieked.

"I'm sorry, I'm just explaining your options." Twilight said plainly.

"Don't worry darlings, I'll make it to you dears," Rarity said.

Twilight had been surprised when Rarity put so many ranks in spell crafting when technology in this setting was the focal point, and magic had (to Twilight's own pain, but being true as a GM) stagnated.

Pinkie Pie meanwhile, had pooled their skill points with Fluttershy and... Twilight had wanted to see how Gilda and Rainbow Dash would react to having to rely on planes to fly in the air rather than their own wings, and perhaps get a better appreciation for such things. Instead, Pinkie Pie had infiltrated a party being held by one of the larger seftdoms, stolen the key off him, open the vault, made away with a fortune in jewels, and had planted evidence to make it look like nearby rival clan had done the deed.

"And the two sides plunge into war." Twilight sighed.

"Means more business for us right?" Gilda grumbled.

"More than that!" Pinkie Pie grinned, she did some dice rolls for crafting . . . and created new wings for Rainbow Dash and Gilda using a mix of obscure and odd rules. Twilight realized, that the game was so old, nopony had bothered to root out the odd game bug. Using the crafting rules, Pinkie Pie had completely in game, creating new wings for Rainbow and Gilda, powered by their own flight fields.

"YOU'RE THE BEST PINKIE! THAT IS! I MEAN! You're not so lame after all!" Gilda said trying to maintain her facade after hugging the pink pony.

"Thanks Gildy."

"Do not call me that."

"Okay Gee!"

"And don't call me that either!"

"Gilda, just let it go," Rainbow Dash sagely warned.

She thought this was the worst things could get. It wasn't.

On top of spell craft... Rarity had also put skill points in information gathering and research...

Twilight had thought nothing of it, as Rarity asked for odd bits and pieces about where the timeline split, and what happened to artifacts in Canterlot and from the Age of the Three Tribes... until...

"I search for Starswirl the Bearded's last journal."

"What?" Twilight blinked.

"Such a treasure is bound to be worth much yes?"

"Oh, right, I guess." Still, with Rarity's investment, she found the journal, buried in an obscure library, with ponies around it with no understanding of its true value, really tragic stuff. "Magic had fallen so far in this world, it's a shame really."

"I complete Starswirl the Bearded's last spell."

"WHAT?!?!??!" Everypony on the table shouted, Gilda wondered where this was going.

"RARITY! You can't be serious!"

"I am completely serious darling."

"... FINE! The Dice Challenge is 200! Good luck!"

"Actually darling." Rarity pulled out some sheets of paper. Twilight recognized them as the game adaptions of their own adventures. "If you look at your own stats when YOU completed it-"

"-And having established my character's family line to Clover the Clever-"

"-And having raided the Elements of Harmony from the remains of the castle of the two sisters-"

Even with all of Rarity's rule lawyer's, Twilight was still able to keep the dice challenge high, but sadly, no longer impossible.

And as fate would have it, fortune smiled on Rarity. Twilight looked at the 20, ready to melt the dice into goo. Her mane flickered into flames for a few moments.

"You know what happens next darling," Rarity said coyly, her elbows on the table and her chin resting on her fetlocks, her eyes fluttering.

"... and Princess Celestia appears before you and..."

"... and thanks to Pinkie Pie, the appearance of a new Alicorn Princess spreads like wild fire..."

Then Twilight decided Rarity needed to be taught a lesson.

"And having been captured to be vivisected-"

"DASH AND I FLY IN AT TOP SPEED TO BREAK ON THROUGH AND RESCUE HER! Once we get the blocker off her horn she can just teleport us all back to the ship right?" Gilda asked.

Twilight lost her ability to speak for five minutes. Then she gave up and wrote down. 'Roll for evasion, to hit and for damage.' Pinkie Pie's 'new and improved' wings gave the duo the stat bonus' needed to pull it off.

"... And having copyrighted the designs of Pinkie Pie's prosthetic wings darling, we'll be sure to set up fliers for anypony with disabled wings to seek replacements," Rarity said. "That should increase our money base, and my mystique as a miracle worker at the same time."

The next few sessions passed like in a dream to Twilight, Rarity talking about business and economics and game theory in ways that made the book worm dizzy. Twilight knew magic and political science, and history, and astronomy, and many other topics, but in the business world, Rarity's knowledge surpassed hers. And Twilight found herself just dumbly nodding half the time, like Rarity was now the dungeon master instead of her.

And one by one, the divided nations of Equestria fell under her sway, finding themselves without bullets, or oil or wood to run their machines, and a faith starved populace looking to the new goddess as the symbol of new hope from their miserable lives. Temples soon being built in her honor.

"FINE! AGH! You're crowned Queen of the New Reunited Equestria! YOU HAPPY?!"

"... Very much darling." Rarity said with a straight face.

Twilight said in a detached tone, her eyes staring into nothing. "So... this is what BBBFF felt when we derailed his game." Then Twilight set the table on fire, and teleported away.

Session 3.8 (Diana Gohan)

Twilight: Wizard
Rarity: Sorcerer
Pinkie Pie: Bard
Rainbow Dash: Fighter
Applejack: Ranger
Fluttershy: Beast Master

Behind the Dungeon Master Screen, (and sitting on top of some books to raise his height) Spike spoke to the group of ponies before him. "Okay girls you turn the corner in the desert pyramid, and you see a treasure chest in the corner of the opposite end of the hallway."

Rainbow Dash got her dice ready. "Get ready to fight some low level monsters."

Twilight shook her head. "No, you scan the room for traps first."

Spike said with a straight face. "You spot no low level monsters and you don't find any traps."

Twilight nodded. "Then approach the chest and check it out."

Spike's checklist of the next sixty seconds went as follows:
-Twilight Sparkle Is Fireballed By a Mimic
-Twilight Sparkle Dies
-A grave appears to mark Twilight Sparkle's passing
-Twilight Sparkle repawns in Twilight's Delightful Garden

Twilight balked. "Wait, since when can Mimics shoot fireballs?!"

Spike shrugged. "Rare spawn."

Rainbow Dash grinned. "At least we'll get good loot from killing it."

AJ stared. "Ah'll admit, Ah didn't see that comin'."

Rainbow Dash smirked as she was shown shaking her dice rapidly. "Doesn't matter, once I mash that mimics into mush."

"Wait, hold on!" Twilight Sparkle warned, eyeing the board carefully. "If there's a rare spawn mimic around, there could potentially be more then one. You can't just go in with an attack."

R.D turned to her. "It could be one, or a hundred. My amazingness can handle the odds."

"Not if you're ganged up on by surprise creatures from all sides."

Pinkie Pie was shown in deep thought before she gasped, her fur waggling some as she appeared between the two. "Then allow your belting bard to do her thing." Dash and Sparkle looked at her a bit confused as Pinkie Pie was shown spinning her pair of dice on the front of her paw. She then threw them, making them bounce off of her other front hoof, then the previous hoof a couple of times before they landed on the table, revealing she had rolled a 19.

"Oooh, a critical" Fluttershy said pretty amazed. "That's a great first roll Pinkie."

"First of many" Pinkie said with a wink as she pointed at her character model. "Cause it gives me enough power to let loose a melody to draw out any of those monsters around." Music started playing as Pinkie Pie started to Sing.

"Creatures, beasties, in the air
Trying to give us a scare
The desert winds blow you around
But now you hear my grooving sounds!"

Twilight held out her hand. "Pinkie you don't really need to sing-"

Pinkie started jumping around. "Between the winds inside this tomb
You try to bring about our doom
But my tunes echoes through the walls
Which will stop your creepy crawls!"

Spike looked up to see the others getting into the song, and even noticed his own right foot tapping to the beat as he then focused on his DM notes. "The seven other mimics in the room drop their disguise and appear around you-"

Pinkie then spins around as lights suddenly flare around her, coming to the chorus of her song.
"You can't hide from the melodies of a bardddddddddddd!
You can try, but doing so is more then harddddddddddddddd!
We're An Unbeatable Teammmmmmmmm
And All Of You Are Meannnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
So Now All Of You Will Be Charredddddddddddddddddddd!" Pinkie finished her song, spinning around and holding her hands up as everyone was shown cheering for her. "Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week! Well actually I have deliveries tomorrow, and have like 8 parties to handle this weekend, and this amazing special super 20 layer cake I wanted to try baking some point soon, but you know what I mean!"

Rainbow Dash grinned widely. "Yeah time for my move! And though you may have the mad melodies, I've got the even madder skills to take these mimics to-" suddenly R.D yelped a bit in pain, seeing Applejack had bitten her tail. "Ow! What was that one for?"

Applejack pointed at her. "Don't you know anything about wrassling critters? You don't just go in attacking all willy nilly, especially rare types we don't know nothin about. Like Granny Smith says, you don't drop a rock on a pile of Fruit Ants, and think that saved your apple berry jam."

"Uh, would it save the cider though?" R.D asked as Applejack shook her head, making the pegasi gasp. "Ah! What would then?"

The earth pony smirked and tipped her hat. "Allow me to show you dashie." She then threw her pair of dice in the air, watching them twirl a bit as she jumped into the air. "Yeeeeeeeeee hawwwwwwwww!" She said, bucking the dice, so they were shown bouncing on the ceiling, and the along the walls of the room.

Twilight was shown looking through the book. "Hmmmm this also isn't official dice rolling procedure."

"You never said there was one suger cube" Applejack said with a wink. "Trust me, bucking's never let me down before" the dice then landed on the table, as we see they landed on an 18. "And sure hasn't now." She then pointed at her character. "Using a burst of speed and that mystically glowing dipped rope, my character bounces all around those critters before they even can attack, and herds and ropes those mimicers before they even know what's happening."

Spike watched Applejack mimicking her character going around the room and tying the 8 creature mimic tokens. "Ah, but-"

"Hey my turn ain't done yet" Applejack pointed out, holding a small red marker point. "She also makes sure them beasts get a mouthful of ice apples shoved through their mouth before they start blasting through their ropes or us with any sort of fire breath."

Spike sighed some, putting back the paper. "Fine, you've tied all the creatures up and prevented them from attacking, on this turn at least."

"Well with my fancy rope skills and some patented apple character family status apples, those critters won't be going any where for several."

"There isn't going to even need to be one" Rainbow said, pushing Applejack away from the table as she held out her dice. "Now with all those guys tied in one place, it shouldn't even take a split second for me to-"

"Waitttttttttttttt" Fluttershy whispered out, as everyone turned their attention to her as she tried hiding behind her character info sheet, slowly poking her head out. "Uh, you think you can hold off on that please Rainbow?"

The blue pegasisi groaned, looking somewhat ticked off. "Oh come on, is everyone going to try interrupting me?" she called out, annoyed, pointing to her character. "Look there's nothing getting in the way of this mimic butt kicking now."

"Well... I actually don't think those Mimics should be taken down at all" Fluttershy said a bit more bravely. "They're simply poor misguided creatures, just scared and trying to protect their home. We shouldn't have to destroy them for that right?"

"Uh, yes" Rainbow Dash said, making Fluttershy gasp in shock as half the group shot dirty looks at Rainbow. "Oh come on! You're going to get angry at me for wanting to beat made up creatures in a game who already snuffed out one of our own?"

"She has a point Fluttershy" Twilight pointed out. "Obviously this isn't how we would solve such issues in real life, but the fun of these types of games is being able to think outside the box with various other solutions, without worrying about actually hurting someone."

"Well... I do have my own solution" Fluttershy said holding up her dice. "I can use my Beast Master status to purify the wickedness within these creatures's souls, so they'll join our side."

"But then who are we going to fight?" Rainbow Dash asked, still annoyed. "I didn't come up with all these awesome combat moves to have them go to waste."

"How about this" Spike suggested as the others turned to him. "You give Fluttershy a chance to roll this time, and if that doesn't work you can attack."

Dash looked into Fluttershy's pleading eyes and sighed. "Fine, this one time. But I like call attacking first next time. No backsies."

"Yeahhhhhh" Fluttershy then narrowed her eyes, looking serious. "Then it's time to make some new allies" she then held up her dice, dramatically shaking them as everyone looked on at Fluttershy. At the last second though, the yellow pegisai nervously dropped the dice as they clattered on the board, revealing a 6. "Oh no!" Fluttershy gasped out, peaking from below the table "That means-"

"You only have enough power to transform one of the Mimics in the room" Spike said pointing down at the board. "All of them have the same stats, so honestly any will suffice."

"But... but I can't just choose between one creature to save" Fluttershy said, a couple of tears seeping down her eyes. "That's... an impossible choice."

"Again they're only fictional creatures" Twilight pointed out, giving her a comforting smile. "We all know if this was the real world, you'd have found a way to save them all."

Fluttershy looked at the board and sighed. "Yeah... I would" she whispered out before she moved her hand around some. "Let's see then.... I choose... the Mimic closest on the left then" she said, waving her hand.

Spike then grabbed that creature, putting it next to Fluttershy's character. "Using your beastmaster control you free the mimic from the boundings and remove the apple to shift it's alliance to your team."

"I just wish I could of saved all of them" Fluttershy muttered.

"Well then you should of done your super special dice roll silly" Pinkie Pie said, bouncing hers between her hooves. "Then you'd have gotten a critical for sure."

"Wait, what do you mean?" Fluttershy said confused. "Isn't the roll of the dice by chance?"

"You can't just leave these kind of things to chance sugarcube" Applejack said holding up her dice. "If you put enough power in skill in how you throw the pieces, it's actually pretty easy to score a critical."

"Such as this" Rainbow Dash said rapidly shaking the dice in her hoof as she looked around. "Seriously, it's my turn right? No one's going to try interrupting or saying anything else? I can throw my dice right?" the group nodded. "Okay then, check out the incredibly amazing ultra coolness throw of the one and only Rainbow... DASH!" She then spun around in a circle several dozen times (which only took less then two seconds) before letting go. The Dice bounced on the table, then off and on the wall, and then to the other side of the wall as soon they were bouncing around the entire room, with most of the group having to despeartley dodge out of the way of them.

Applejack gasped, quickly removing her hat a split second before the dice would of torn a whole through it. "Gosh dern it Dash, you ain't need to throw them that hard."

"I so did" Rainbow Dash pointed out, twirling around before the dice could of hit her. "I've been holding up that throw for what feels like weeks."

"How is two minutes anywhere close to weeks?" Twilight Sparkle asked, desperately getting below her chair to avoid the dice that hit them.

"Technically when you push your velocity to the speed of light, time slows and decelerates so what may seem like miliseconds are actual hours as you have technically lost your ebb from the specific concurrent forward momentum along the fourth dimension" Rainbow Dash blinked a few times before looking over at Twilight. "You were giving one of your lectures below my flight plan again weren't you?"

"Probably" Twilight admitted before the dice finally crashed back on the table. After some smoke blew away the group looked to see that Rainbow had rolled a 20.

"Alright, time for some action" Rainbow Dash said mimicking punching the air. "I use my Seven Colors Of The Mega Ultra Swift Kick to destroy those mimics in .000000001 second."

"The mimics are taken out instantly" Spike said removing the seven mimic tokens from the board "Leaving only you and the treasure chest alone in the room."

"Alright treasure!" Rainbow Dash said quickly taking the treasure chest piece from the board. "What's in it? Gold? Silver? Enchanted Bits? The Cup Of Immortality?"

"No" Spike said simply looking at his board. "This is only the first room of the pyramid, so the creature real treasure's further inside. All that's in here are 8 cloth patches, chrome armor braclets, a mace chain and a giant dragon scale."

"What kind of treasure is that?" Rainbow Dash asked, somewhat annoyed. "You can't do anything with that."

"Perhaps you can't, but I can" Rarity stated, as she walked right next to Rainbow Dash. "You mind if I have that dear?"

"Uh, I guess not" Rainbow Dash said handing her over the treasure chest.

"Much appreciated" Rarity said, as she was shown levitating a piece of paper next to her. "Let's see, based on my actual inventory and these pieces from the chest... yes I can fashion something quite extradionary for all of you."

"Well technically for our characters" Twilight pointed out. "I wouldn't want you to go through the trouble of actually designing clothing for a simple campaign."

"Well I also wouldn't have the time do so now with some party members being quite impatient" Rarity said throwing a sly look at R.D as she was now shown levitating the dice. "Regardless, this particular plunder should prove quite pivotal" she then brought the dice closer, lightly blowing on them before delicately letting them drop to the ground, as she was shown rolling an 16.

"Oooh, was that another special roll?" Fluttershy asked.

Rarity smiled, winking some. "A lady normally never divulges such things, but that would be an accurate guess dear." We then saw Rarity levitating the player models of the Mane 6 up along with the bits from the "treasure box", as the character sheet was in front of her. "Using my own supplies, sorcerer specialties, and newly acquired tokens, I've fashioned a lovely and also important piece of attire to help in further battles. Afterall if the creatures further ahead are more dangerous, we should prepare for them now, correct?"

Rainbow Dash pointed at herself. "Well maybe dangerous for you, but Adventuring Brawler has what it takes."

"Then would she not want to take this crimson red Mace chain?" Rarity asked as she was shown fashioning a little weapon chain placed right in front of Rainbow Dash's character. "It's a 10+ increase for all close range attacks and has a 20% greater increase of knock back on high level monsters."

"Well... I'm all for 20% anything up" Rainbow Dash admitted quickly taking her figure as she was shown imitating throwing the mace around.

"Now for you Pinkie" she said focusing on the Pink earth pony next to her. "This special green cloth can be used as a special camoflague and increases your evasion attributes at least two folds."

"So... I can like super sneak around people in game?" Pinkie asked as Rarity nodded. "Oh thanks" she said quickly hugging Rarity before putting it on her figure. "Cause otherwise I'd have to teach it to her myself and that takes like years of training and yeah I still have all that stuff I said... whenever I said I had it."

"And now for our beast master" Rarity said focusing on Fluttershy. "I've used the chrom braclet pieces to create a make shift arumor, to increase your own defense and the defense of your acquired creature up 12 points."

"Thanks Rarity" Fluttershy said seeing the armor being added to both figures which she gently took. "I'm sure next time I'll hopefully be able to help the team out more."

"Well considering the nature of the game it could be next or several turns down the road. Either way I'm sure you'll be quite intergral to our victory" Rarity then focused on Applejack. "I'm certain our resident ranger wouldn't mind accessorizing with a special rope belt that allows her to double her allowable inventory, correct."

"Sure wouldn't" Applejack said taking her figure back which now had the belt back. "Just like she has no problems being on a team of someone who finally knows how to make fancy doo dads practical."

"You would call such a common item fancy, wouldn't you?" The two shot a look at one another, then quickly laughed it off as Rarity focused on Twilight Sparkle. "And finally I've saved what to do with that dragon scale for us mages. You dear get this blue tined armored shield, which will increases your long range defense by 25 and automatically protect against any lower level threats."

Twilight smiled a bit, taking the figure. "Thanks Rarity. I have a feeing this is going to come in useful later on" she then shot a look at Spike. "If someone's going to keep throwing such rare spawns around so widly". The baby dragon only shrugged at this.

"While I will use the scale to fashion a dazzling set of rainbow wings" she said showing off her figure with multi colored wings as she set her down. "Which though are obviously exquisite, also allow for +8 higher evasion, defense and and a slight higher attack charge." She then rolled her hoof. "I'm certain these wonderful accessories will prove quite valuable further along our quest" she then winked over at Spike. "So many thanks for our host for starting us off with quite a worthy bounty."

Spike blushed at this. "Dawww it wasn't anything" he then quickly tried to focus, looking back at his board. "And by that I mean this was only one room of many in this temple." He then raised his hands dramatically. "And though there are many treasures beyond there are also many traps, creatures and beings that will put you into the fight of your live" we then cut to the Mane 6 giving looks of worry (Fluttershy) determination (Applejack) excitement (Rainbow Dash) happiness (Rarity) some concern (Twilight Sparkle) and drifting off to think of something else (do I even need to say who?) as Spike continued narrating. "This may seem like just a fun adventure but, one small mistake will turn this temple.... into your tomb... for good! Mawhahahahahahaha-"

"Spike, is the laughing really necessary?" Twilight asked.

"It adds to the drama" he explained. "It's all a part of being a good dungeon master."

"Co-Dungeon Master."

"Uh yeah if you're going to be part of a team and play along with everyone else Twilight, shouldn't you just let me take over for this one?"

"Hmmm... fair point" she admitted as she then looked over at her character sheet. "Okay let's see where to go next."

Session 3.9 (MtangaLion)

Shining Armor took a pencil in his magic and made a few changes to his character sheet while they were getting set up. "Alright, here's my new paladin, Gleaming Shield." He grinned smugly. "Now you can't polymorph me into a mare, because my character is a mare already!"

Spike flinched behind the Dungeon Master's screen. "How did you know... Um, I mean... What makes you think I'd do that?"

Applejack sighed heavily.

"Because Rainbow Dash made me spend three hours as a mare when she was the DM!"

Rainbow giggled. "I guess I should apologize for that..." Then she burst out laughing, hoofing the table. "Nope, still hilarious!"

Shining glared at her. "And then Twily got me 'randomly' turned into a mare too. Even Fluttershy did it!"

Fluttershy sank lower in her chair, blushing. "Oh... I'm sorry! If I'd known you'd be offended... But, um... You did roleplay a mare pretty well."

Rarity shrugged. "If he wants to play a mare, then let him play a mare, darlings. What harm could possibly come of it?"

AJ rolled her eyes. "Here we go..."

Two hours later -

Spike rolled the dice behind his screen. "You reach Old Ponyville with no further encounters, and return to the inn to rest."

"Hold it!" shouted Shining, pointing a hoof dramatically.

Twilight groaned. "What is it now?"

Shining grinned. "My new peytral from Trixie's lair is bright blue with gold stars! I shan't rest until I've visited the local blacksmith to have it painted red to match the rest of my armor! And I'm covered in swamp muck! I rush to the spa to get cleaned up right away!"

"They didn't exactly have a lot of spas back in the olden days," Applejack felt compelled to point out.

"I think that's a splendid idea!" cried Rarity. "I join Gleaming at the spa."

"Um..." Fluttershy smiled hesitantly. "I guess... I could go with them?"

Rarity had a calculating look. "We should get bonus experience points for proper hygiene!"

"And for having deep and insightful character building conversations while soaking in mud!" chimed in Shining.

Twilight thumped both hooves on the table. "That's it, I've had it! Twilight the mage decides that she needs a break from adventuring, so her other twin brother Dusk Shine joins the group in her place."

Rainbow Dash pushed her chair back from the table. "I'll go make some more popcorn."

Twilight was cackling to herself, three strands of her mane already sprung out of place. "Dusk is late for his first meeting with the group, because he stayed up late hoof-wrestling with everypony at the inn. And talking about medieval hoofball! And he shows up with mud on his hooves and he doesn't wipe them!"

Shining sighed. "Colts."

Rarity smiled. "I know, right?"

Session 3.10 (BrutalityInc)

Terrornauts had been a collective effort, but the setting was Point-Dexter's pride and joy; to say that he didn't like how the Publishers took Twilight and co's playthrough and ran with it - creating "Marecross - Do You Remember Friendship" - would be a mild way of putting it. (Not that Marecross was a bad game by itself. At least they still got royalties from it)

Determined to 'give them all what's coming' and creating a truly hardcore military sci-fi game, he had spent a month of dedicated, round-the-clock effort to craft an entirely new game and setting that took the whole alien invasion routine up to eleven.

The campaign needed to be play-tested before it could be published, of course (By a different publisher). What Shining Armor couldn't really understand was Point-Dexter's insistence that his sister and her friends needed to be the ones to play it; Terrornauts it was the Publisher's fault, not them. But Point-Dexter had insisted.

He grimaced at the thought of the meat-grinder he's about to put his sister and her friends through.

"So, in this alternate reality, the world naturally revolves around the Sun?" Twilight asked, leafing through the pages of the game-book for any discrepancies.

"Yes, it does." Shining Armor confirmed. "Point-Dexter was adamant in removing the Princesses from the equation, saying they are too much of a game breaker in-setting. Equestria here is a commonwealth. There's also no Elements of Harmony or Rainbow Power."

Twilight's friends were caught between shuddering at the prospects implied, or bristling at the Princesses being called 'game breakers'. Twilight at least seems to be taking this much better than Shining thought she would.

"Well, at least that still makes more sense than sky pirates setting we played through with Gilda, no offense, Twilight." Rarity admitted. This earned her a glare from Twilight, who's still fuming from the epic derailment of her campaign.

"To be fair, there ain't no Discord, Nightmare Moon, King Sombra, or any other supernatural menaces, villains or what-not that we go about facing either." Applejack commented, browsing through the lore. "That said, it ain't exactly all sunshine and rainbows, was it?"

Shining Armor nodded, "There was a Great War which occurred over at the continent of Griffonnia, though the Equestrian Commonwealth stayed out of it. After the war, the nation worked together to rebuild their devastated continent and prevent future wars, under the auspice of the Continental Trade Organization, with the exception of Roedina, who turned isolationist after the war and built a wall across its borders to keep out the 'foreign influence' that nearly started a revolution in the country."

"And in this universe, both the Equestrian Commonwealth and the rest of the world is much more advanced, scientifically, technologically and magically?" Rarity asked.

"That is correct." Shining Armor replied "And trust me, given the alien invaders you're about to fight this game, you're going to need every bit of it."

"Come on, now, this again? You said the same thing for the Cthonians in that Terrornauts campaign, and we beaten them all the same." Rainbow Dash dismissed, fondly remembering the climatic end-game where she nailed the Cthonian's supreme leader "Just how bad are the aliens this game?"

"By the time the campaign starts, nearly all life on mainland Griffonnia has been entirely wiped out by them."

Pinkie Pie did a spit-take from the hot cocoa she had been drinking. The others gaped in horror.

"Don't you mean Griffonnia has been conquered by them?" Twilight asked, hoping she heard wrong.

"Not conquered, Twily, wiped out." Shining corrected. "The aliens are a race of parasites which reproduced by viral infection. They first arrived in the wilderness of Roedina by a meteorite decades before the Great War. The parasites are mutagenic, infecting other creatures and turning them into hybrid alien monsters that serve their cause. From the impact site, they started spreading out, first infecting local wildlife and the odd deer here and there, slowly building their strength."

"Oh, those poor creatures!" Fluttershy's lament reflected the dread the other Mane Six felt.

"Then, as the virus mutated, becoming more potent, it started to infect whole villages, then whole towns and cities." Shining Armor continued, "And the worse part, is that the alien hybrids created are smart. They created advanced alien technologies to facilitate their conquest, and the infrastructure to support them. Being staunchly isolationist by then, Roedinans tried to stop them on their own, keeping everything silent and refusing to ask for help, but in the end, they couldn't stop it. Roedina disintegrated almost overnight, with virtually no survivors. The only thing the outside world ever heard was a radio message, looped endlessly, asking for the people to stand firm against the 'Angry Night'."

"So when the aliens breached the Roedinan Wall and invaded the rest of the continent, no pony or griffon knew what they were, or how to stop them." Twilight summed up what happened next. Images of horrific devastation played in the Mane Six's minds - endless hordes of alien hybrids with energy weapons and overwhelmingly powerful war machines storming cities and killing indiscriminately. Infected ponies and griffons turning into monsters and attacking their friends and families. Desperate refugees spreading the infection, causing whole nations to fall within days...

"The game start four weeks after Griffonnia was invaded." Shining Armor said somberly, "You play as Equestrian Commonwealth soldiers being sent over as part of an agreement to support the shattered remnants of the Continental Defense Force on the island nation of Cassiterides - well, what's left of it - who are desperately trying to stop the aliens tunneling from the mainland from overrunning the island. Your help might just be what it takes to turn the tide."

"We better do!" Rainbow Dash declared, angry at the aliens for what they did, "I'm going to give those aliens the pummeling they deserve!"

= = = =

To say the campaign started off badly was an understatement.

The ruined city of Yoke was supposed to be clear of the aliens, making it the ideal landing site to rendezvous with the Cassiterides resistance - except the aliens had already figured out they were coming and turned the whole city into a kill-zone for an ambush, one which the Commonwealth forces flew right into without knowing.

(And no one told the Commonwealth troops what they were facing either. In-universe, the current Equestrian Commonwealth president was a paranoid despotic slime-ball who lied to and covered up the alien's genocidal invasion from the Equestrian public for his own inscrutable reasons, a fact which earned Applejack's ire)

The result was an absolute bloodbath for the Commonwealth forces. Pinkie, Fluttershy and Rainbow's first characters were killed within ten seconds flat, when their Gyrocopter transport was shot-down, and had to roll new characters. After that, nearly everypony's characters were dying or at least seriously wounded every few minutes.

The alien hybrids were ruthless, effective and cunning, perhaps even more than Terrornaut's Cthonians were - never letting up, using every advantage they had to the fullest, just as any clever enemy would. And to make things worse, they come in great numbers, causing every firefight to become a desperate struggle for survival.

Twilight's and Applejack's characters performed admirably for most part. They managed to rally a number of surviving soldiers besides the Mane six's characters and fought their way to a captured bus depot, where a surviving Commonwealth captain has set up a strong-point for other Commonwealth soldiers to regroup and hold out, long enough for the heavy weapons and armored vehicles to arrive. Even so, there took many casualties, far too many for their liking.

"This is payback for derailing your campaign, was it?" Twilight exclaimed, throwing her hooves up after the last alien hybrids were repulsed.

"Even if I wanted payback, I wouldn't had gone for something this extreme!" Shining Armor defended, "It's just how the campaign module was planned by Point-Dexter!"

"Remember to tell him how much we hate his guts right now." Rainbow Dash requested, angry at the epic mess they got into. "And what does it says that happens now?"

Shining Armor looked up the manual, then grimaced at what he read, rubbing his forehead. "Oh boy..."

"What is it? Something bad?" Rainbow Dash asked, now wishing she didn't ask that other question.

"Remember that crossroad you came across, where one route would take longer to reach the depot?" Shining Armor reminded them.

"Yah said that there were more ammo and supplies, as well as some mysterious alien activity we can have'a poke at, but we ain't in top shape fer any more fights then to go fer it. Regroupin' was the greater priority." Applejack recalled. The others nodded; after everything that happened, it was a reasonable decision any sane pony would make.

"Well, it turns out, that alien activity was in fact a bunch of spire launchers - an alien artillery unit which launches missiles containing virus-infected Crawler bugs. Since you have repelled the aliens at the depot, but didn't take out the spire launchers..." Shining Armor let the sentence hang. The answer was obvious.

"Aww, nuts."

= = = =

It took a number of lucky dice rolls for Mane Six's characters to survive the bombardment and resist instant conversion, which was a bright spot in this dismal campaign so far. An even brighter spot was learning that their characters' partial immunity was a permanent trait, them having all decided to have participation with a mysterious military medical project as a backstory choice.

Even so, the damage was done; out of the 5000 vanguard Commonwealth forces, the six of them were the only survivors. Knocked out, they were captured by the aliens, requiring them to fight their way out of the conversion center they were held in. On the plus side, they managed to save the captured leader of the Cassiterides forces while at it, who they were supposed to rendezvous to begin with. After being rescued, they were sent north to retrieve the subject of exchange that was the heart of the deal the Cassiterides resistance made with the Commonwealth: A captured Herald hybrid, who served as the generals and commanders of the aliens.

Of course, it just so happens that when they arrived, the other alien hybrids were launching an all-out assault to free the Herald. It took one Tartarus of a struggle before they succeeded in repelling the aliens from the base.

"Of course, the aliens are not going to stop trying to free their hybrid." Twilight remarked, "This place is compromised. We need to move it to a more secure location before we could even think about transporting it back to Equestria for analysis.

"The containment was damaged during the fight, darling." Rarity pointed out, "Shining said these Heralds uses a form of telepathy to control the other hybrid soldiers. if we aren't careful, it'll try to attack us with its mind!"

"We're out of options, Rarity." Twilight said firmly, "We'll just have to take the risk."

Of course, that was when their luck ran out. "The dice rolls were bad! the Herald broke out of containment and launched a relentless psionic attack on all of you!" Shining Armor declared from his DM seat.

"Cornsanit! We didn't put enough ranks into psionic resistance!" Applejack pounded the table in anger. "My soldier fires on the Herald!"

"AJ, no! If we kill it we'll lose our chance to learn more about the enemy!" Twilight exclaimed.

"If we don't kill it now, we'll all be dead in a few turns!" AJ replied, "We have no choice! Everypony, kill it NOW!"

A few turns later, the Herald was dead, and so went any chance of learning more about the aliens for a long time.

= = = =

After evacuating the last resistance stronghold before the alien hybrids' second attack destroys it, and calling for new Commonwealth reinforcements, the battle for Cassiterides came down to a desperate, all-out assault by joint Equestrian-Cassiterides Forces upon alien-held ruins of Coldon, the capital of Cassiterides. Their target: the aliens' Central Command Tower.

According to what the Mane Six uncovered, the Central Command Tower and the other Command Towers were buried all over Cassiterides - and possibly other places across the world as well. Other information, besides this revelation, hinted that this wasn't the first time the aliens had been on this planet, and that there are more about this foe that they had yet to begin understanding, or might not even want to.

Disturbing unknown implications aside, the aliens' towers enabled them to co-ordinate their forces across the island, and begin the process of xenoforming the island into a colder climate to their liking (Pinkie joked how the aliens' plan all along must be trying to bring Hearths' Warming Eve early so they could convert Jolly Hooves into a hybrid, and spread their virus through presents to children all over the world).

Over the course of the session, the Mane Six's characters participated in destroying key infrastructures held by the alien the ensure the aliens outside the city would not intervene. Then, it all came down to the squad infiltrating and destroying the tower itself from the inside while the joint forces lay siege on the outside.

Being in the heart of the aliens' dominion on the island, the opposition was inevitably fierce and unrelenting. Devastating casualties followed as they pitted themselves against the aliens' most elite forces and weapons.

But in the end, the Mane Six's squad succeeded. The destruction of the CCT caused a catastrophic feedback that caused the other towers to be disabled, and all alien forces across the island to die without the Heralds within those towers influencing them.

Rainbow, however, was slightly disappointed at how it went down.

"That's it? No boss fights? All we had to do was destroy the thaumic reactors that run the tower and the whole thing goes down?!" Rainbow crossed her arms and grumbled, "After everything we went through, we can't even get a gratifying take down of their head-honcho! This whole game is whacked!"

"That besides, you would think the aliens would be intelligent enough to install proper fail-safes in their power-plants, precisely to prevent catastrophic meltdowns." Twilight noted, letting out a sigh of relief, "That said, I'm not going to look at a gift-horse in the mouth."

"We gave these meanie aliens a red-nose for their early Hearths Warming Eve presents!" Ever the optimist, Pinkie Pie gave a tired cheer.

"The war is far from over though." Rarity lamented. "The mainland is still overrun with aliens, and knowing how relentless they are, they're not just going to let a little set-back like this stop their campaign of conquest."

"That could wait next session." Applejack waved a hoof. "Let them go to Zebrica, or the Orient or whatever! We know how to buck'em in their viral-infested behinds now! We'll be ready for them!"

Shining Armor decided that discretion was called for, and hid the models of the gigantic alien airships in his bag, as well as a map showing the aliens' invasion of the Equestrian Commonwealth as well as new, more deadly and dangerous alien hybrids and war machines that would soon ravage Equestria and the rest of the world.

This game of "Invasion: Fall of Hope" ended in a bit of a high note. No point in killing it there. Who knows, it might give them time to find out how to derail it like they did in his Terrornauts game...

Session 3.11 (MtangaLion)

The next session was as grim as they could have foreseen and more, but all of them were caught up in the story, and nopony objected to playing it through to the end.

"The last refugee vault is sealed," said Twilight. "I guess... that's it then."

Applejack nodded grimly. "We've pulled off all kinds of fancy escapes, but we're not gonna survive three hundred ticked-off hybrids, and that's a fact."

"Six hundred," said Shining. When the others gave him tired glares, he sheepishly added, "There's two more troop transports flying in just now. Sorry."

Fluttershy sighed. "At least all of those helpless civilians will survive."

And Rarity smiled. "All of their lives, for the six of ours. I, for one, shall have no regrets."

Rainbow Dash raised a hoof. "We stuck together through everything those alien punks could throw at us, right to the end!"

"Uh huh!" shouted Pinkie. "And we're going out with a bang!"

Far across the multiverse on a blasted and scarred battlefield, the ground began to shake, building into a violent tremor. Ponies and aliens alike staggered, looking all around. A battered strongbox burst out of the ground and flew apart, leaving six ancient and tarnished pieces of jewelry floating in the air. Each one flew to an exhausted pony soldier on her last legs...

The whole battlefield exploded as brilliantly as if a nuclear bomb had been detonated.... a golden mushroom cloud rose to the heavens, and a rainbow shockwave surged across Equestria, turning thousands of hybrids into healthy and very confused ponies.

Six Alicorns were left in midair, soaring on the towering thermal. "It's... it's a miracle!" breathed the orange one... farmpony, soldier, and now a princess.

The purple one grinned. "It's magic!"

Just out of sight, Amicitia smiled and made another checkmark on her list.

Everypony in the room shivered, even Shining. "My goodness!" cried Rarity. "Did you feel that?"

"Feel what?" asked Applejack, though she'd clearly felt *something*.

Shining Armor skimmed through the Invasion: Fall of Hope rulebook, suspicious, but all the text was unchanged so far as he could tell. "Huh. Well, your squad perishes, but the refugees survive and train new soldiers, never giving up the fight. That's the end for now, I guess... Thanks for being such a good sport about this, Twily."

Twilight chuckled. "Sure thing, BBBFF... but bring something lighter next time."

Session 3.12 (Alex Warlorn)

Shining Armor sighed.

"Something wrong?" Eight-Bit asked. When Poindexster had suggested the old O&O gang group together and make some table top games... Shining Armor hadn't though his old high school friends would all crash at the Crystal Palace and turn one of the rooms into their personal work shop. 8-Bit's little boy had shown little interest in visiting the crystal empire when he found out they hadn't invented video games yet.

Shining Armor shook his head. "I just... I really expected Twiley and her friends to pull something. Like they did with Poindexster's friend design, and then what Rarity did to Twiley's... I really wanted to see how they were going to turn things upside down again... instead, they ACTUALLY FOLLOWED THE ADVENTURE, even to the bitter end when it got their characters killed but the civilian ponies were saved to fight the good fight another day... I... I don't know what to think. Was Twiley .... 'taking it easy on me?"

"Your sister ever done that before?"

"Not really... remember the sorcereress she played in our campaign as a filly? You should see Poindexster... he wanted to hear what crazy scheme they came up with to break the game and failed miserably as he did his best to make this game break proof, whole reason he removed the Princesses and the Elements, and every big nasty from the history books of his game... he actually looked, CHEATED when he got told that nope, the girls played by the rules and went along the game route and didn't TRY to break the game... "

"So you lost by winning? That's one for the books."

"On the bright side, at least we can get this game to the publishers now. And Twiley and friends are back to playing whatever crazy adventure they cook up this time between beating monsters with love and rainbows instead of spiked maces and fireballs.They asked if we used them as beta-testers again, to let the next one be lighter and softer."

"Heh, Poindexster would die at those words."

"You can say that again!" Shining smiled.

Session 3.13 (MtangaLion and one line by me)

Eight-Bit yawned, rubbing his eyes. "You know, maybe we *should* work on something lighter next. I'd sleep better at night."

Shining Armor froze. "Have... you been having bad dreams?" he asked, trying to sound casual.

Eight-Bit flinched. "Have *you*?"

"It was just this one time," said Shining hastily. "Okay, maybe once or twice... I was living in that world, but I wasn't a solider, not a hero with guns and guard training. I was..." He hoof-shrugged. "Just an ordinary pony, with a regular job and a family and other ponies I liked and..."

Eight-Bit shivered. "And they all died? One after another, and the town got destroyed..."

"And we were starving and afraid all the time..." Shining's ears drooped flat. "And we tried and tried, but everypony knew..."

"That we were just going through the motions, that the world wasn't *ours* any more..."

"And why didn't the aliens just finish us already!? Like killing us all wasn't enough..."

"They had to be cruel about it, like making us suffer was the whole point! But then Luna showed up, and I was so relieved..."

Shining sank to the floor, hanging his head. "Until she looked at me like I was dirt on her hoof and asked..."

Eight-Bit gulped. "Are you pleased by what you have wrought?"

There was silence in the workshop for a good while.

"You know," said Shining hesitantly. "Maybe that game isn't ready for the publisher just yet. I'm thinking that the campaign needs a third phase. You know, where ponies turn the tide."

Eight-Bit's face lit up. "Yeah... yeah! Oh, but we can't just have some super-Alicorn hero stallion warp in from the future and blow the aliens away."

Shining grinned. "Right, right. The Time Eater would pounce him and wolf him down in two seconds flat. Every seasoned O&O campaigner knows that. It's gotta be plausible..."

Eight-Bit tapped the side of his face with a hoof. "Ooh, I know! The aliens originally came from space, right? So it makes sense that help could arrive from space too."

"Like a probe from the Crystal Space Empire, sent to deliver advanced tech to worlds still fighting the bad aliens!"

"Really, Shining?"

"We'll think of a better name later." Shining had already grabbed a notepad in his magic and started jotting down ideas.

"Poindexter still isn't gonna like this," mused Eight-Bit.

From the next suite over, the two stallions heard a scream and a loud thump, as if somepony had woken in a fright and fallen right out of bed. Shining winced in sympathy. "You were saying?"

"I think Gaffer is gonna be happy he just worked on the game mechanics and not the actual adventure for this one."

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in joke) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

It's also intended to be an INDEPENDENT UNIVERSE from the Pony POV Series OR the Pinkie Pie Variety Show! So things aren't esoteric.

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

Basic rule: EVERYONE IS IN CHARACTER!!!!

Session 3.0 (Kendell2)
Session 3.1 (Ardashir)
Session 3.2 (ArcanissSupreme)
Session 3.3 (Alex Warlorn)
Session 3.4 (Master Weaver)
Session 3.5 (Ardashir)
Session 3.6 (Ardashir With Edits)
Session 3.7 (Alex Warlorn)
Session 3.8 (Diana Gohan)
Session 3.9 (MtangaLion)
Session 3.10 (BrutalityInc)
Session 3.11 (MtangaLion)
Session 3.12 (Alex Warlorn)
Session 3.13 (MtangaLion and one line by me)
Cover art by Lightningtumble.

Session 3.11 (Supplemental)

In a section of reality far from most of the more common shadows of existence lies a simple tower where the Master of Infinite Dungeons, he who oversees the chronicles of the Game Masters of the multiverse lives.

In the top floor of the tower (his personal study) the DM looks up from a Chronicle that had just seen its last word transcribed., and notices he has a visitor (a rare occurrence). The wizened old man carefully placed the Tome of Terrornauts back on its shelf and smiled.

"M'lady Sparkle, thank you for your help."

The concept of magic and happy endings gave a small chuckle to one who had recently become a dear acquaintance.

"You know that hasn't been my name in ages, Myrddin."

"Neither has that been mine, yet those are the names we feel the most comfortable using with each other. Would you care for some tea."

"I wish I could but I really have to get back to a pressing matter back home. But thank you for letting me help here."

The DM smiled as he took his place back at his desk and summoned another chronicle in need of oversight.

"Not a problem at all my dear. It is nice to occasionally give those who fight through a tale such as that more than a Phyrric victory. Even if it is only once in a while. But I see I really am delaying you. I hope the next time we meet it will be under better times. I'll have the orange chamomile brew ready on your return."

"And I'll bring those crumpets from Sugar Cube Corner you really like."

And so both returned to the tasks the greater existence set to them. The DM to the tales crafted by tabletop RPG players, and the Alicorn once known as Twilight to bring about a (hopefully) happy ending to the darkest day her timeline had ever seen.

Session 15

Session 15.0 Mooncalf99

The train pulled into Fillydelphia 30th Street Station with the drawn-out squeal of metal wheels grinding against the rails. As if to announce the completion of its journey, the engine let out a final burst of steam, before finally stopping with a last shudder.

The train door swung open. "We're here!" Spike cried, leaping out of the wagon onto the landing. "C'mon, hurry!" He started looking around excitedly. "Where is she… she said she'd be here…"

"Spike! Spiiike!"

Spike managed just barely to turn his head before he was tackle-hugged by a reddish-brown dragoness. "Spike! What took you so long?"

Spike chuckled embarrassedly. "Hey, Mina. Sorry the train took so long. I can't always fly by princess, you know."

Mina laughed. "Apology accepted. So, you're ready?"

"Yeah, just…" Spike turned and glared at the train door. "C'mon, what's holding you two?"

The door opened again, and Twilight stepped out, followed by Trixie. "Sorry, I was worried I had left something behind and had to go check. Hello there, Mina."

"Your Highness," Mina said courteously, eliciting an exasperated eyeroll from Twilight.

"Yeah, I mentioned Twilight in my letters," Spike said. "And this is Trixie. She's… a friend."

Mina gasped. "THE Trixie? The one who took over the town of Ponyville and ruled it with a tyrannical cl… hoof?"

Trixie's face darkened, and she was about to say something when Spike leapt in front of her. "It's okay! She didn't mean anything bad, she's just got a thing for reformed villains!" He said to Trixie.

"'A thing'?" Trixie asked angrily.

"Well, yeah," Mina said enthusiastically. "It's just so cool, the whole dark going towards light, villain finding redemption and using their abilities for good, the lesson that we all have a piece of good within us if only we let it out…" She trailed off. "And you don't like me to bring it up, do you?"

"Trixie didn't really plan to go evil," Twilight said. "It was just a thing that happened."

"Ooh, I getcha," the dragoness said knowingly. "Like Ironhide in Claw of Vengenace. Sorry, I totally understand. Sorry!" She tapped her claws together pensively. "Oh, but listen to me prattle when we have places to be! Come on!" She turned and marched away, Spike scrambling to keep pace. The two ponies followed, hanging back a little.

"Good thing we left Starlight back in Ponyville," Trixie muttered, lowering her voice so the dragons wouldn't hear.

"Yeah… of course, she's probably safe since nopony except my friends and I know what she actually did," Twilight said. "And the ones we've told, like you."

"Trust me, I'm not telling anypony," Trixie said. "She's been hurt enough as it is. You've got your work cut out for you fixing her, Sparkle."

"I know… but I have to try," Twilight sighed.

They kept walking in silence for a while (the two ponies, that is; the two dragons were engaged in a heated discussion about who would win in a battle between Radiance and The Masked Matter-Horn) as they neared the district known as Dragontown. "So is she Spike's out-of-town marefriend or something?" Trixie suddenly asked. "Or dragoness-friend, if you prefer."

"I don't think so…" Twilight said uncertainly. "I'm pretty sure they're just friends. She's definitely the best dragon role model I could think of, though."

"Really?" Trixie asked.

"Before that…" Twilight began. "A while back, he tried to follow the Great Dragon Migration in order to 'find his roots', so to speak. It didn't work out too well. The only dragons who would speak to him were… well, a bunch of teenage bullies."

"Ouch," Trixie said. "I can imagine."

"After that, he decided he'd rather be like a pony," Twilight continued. "I'm really not sure that was an improvement, honestly. At one point he invented a 'Dragon Code' and… well, it was just all kinds of messy. Less said about that business, the better."

"He's always struck me as weird, even for a dragon," Trixie said. "No offense."

"That's right, you said you'd met dragons before," Twilight said, ignoring Trixie's main remark. "I guess you're looking forward to this, then?"

"Quite so," Trixie said. "It will be good to play again. Let's just hope the dragons here can provide a decent challenge."

By now they had entered Dragontown. The place was different; different sounds, different smells, different people. Dragons of all kinds, shapes and colors walked the streets, some giving the ponies suspicious glances and a few raised eyes, particularly Twilight. Even the buildings were different, more cave-like, and decorated archways spanned the streets.

Mina led the party towards her store - Dragon Comics - but then headed towards a cellar entrance. "Down here, guys."

The cellar opened up into a larger underground room, lit with hundreds of candles and decorated with chineighse silk screens and paintings, with woven carpets and soft pillows covering the stone floor. A scent of sulphur lingered in the air, and the dragon…

Spike, Twilight and Trixie goggled at the sight of the great dragon. Long and serpentine, covered in dark blue scales on his back and silvery white on his belly, his coiled body easily filled up a third of the room, making the table in front of him look miniscule in perspective. A red frill ran along his back from head to tail, giving him a fierce yet dignified air.

"Grandfather, this is Spike, who will be playing with us tonight," Mina said. "And his pony friends, Trixie and Princess Twilight. Spike, this is my grandfather… well, more like great-great-great-something-great-grandfather… uh, you can call him Master Babylon."

"Whoa… uh, hi?" Spike said nervously. He had kind of forgotten that some dragons got very big.

The ancient dragon focused his eyes on Spike, and his belly rumbled at he spoke. "Ah… the pony-raised hatchling young Mina spoke so much of. Such an intriguing sight. This will be an interesting evening."

"It's an honor, sir," Spike said courteously.

"Yes… yes, it is," Master Babylon rumbled. "And the ponies. The young princess, already a legend. And…" His eyes moved over Twilight, and then Trixie.

"...Uncle?" Trixie managed to say.

The ancient dragon stared at her. "Kokushi Muso?" he asked, disbelieving.

Trixie suddenly turned into a blur as she leapt at Babylon's scaly neck, hugging him. "I never thought I'd see you again, Uncle!"

"You… know… Grandfather?" Mina asked in utter disbelief. She looked at Twilight and Spike, but they were just as crestfallen as she was.

"Ah, little pony Kokushi Muso," Babylon said joyfully. "It is a delight to see that you are doing well. And you've grown bigger, too. Are you an adult now?"

"Mmm-hmm," Trixie said. "And you haven't changed at all, Uncle. When did you move to Equestria?"

"Ooh, that is a long story, little pony Kokushi Muso…" Babylon said.

"Hold it, hold it, hang on," Spike interrupted. "What's going on here? Why does Trixie know this… uh, Master Babylon? And what's with the weird name? Kooky-whatsit?"

Babylon laughed, a deep rumble like storm against the mountains. Trixie laughed in a more conventional pony-like manner. "I did tell Twilight I toured Chineigh as a filly, right? Sailed the rivers, played against dragons in the Temple of Four Winds. Uncle was one of my teachers. A great… no, the greatest mahjong player I've ever known."

"That is what you have come for, correct?" Babylon asked. "To play the game?"

"Yes, yes, of course," Spike said, trying furiously to comprehend the fullness of what he was seeing. She calls him Uncle. He's a great ancient dragon and she I don't even. It's absurd that no way. I can't even finish that thought. "And the… koshi-uh…"

"Kokushi Muso, or 'Thirteen Orphans', is a very valuable, very difficult claw," Trixie said. "And the one I got the one time I beat this old guy," Trixie said with a proud grin. "That was a wonderful day."

"Yes, I remember. A good victory. A happy filly. Kokushi Muso, not a skilled player, but lucky," the dragon mused.

"Skilled enough for somepony who's not centuries old," Trixie protested. "I usually won against my other opponents… anyway, we're here to play, right? Not talk old memories."

"Of course," Babylon rumbled. "Hatchling Spike, who will learn to play like a dragon tonight. Sit, Spike, opposite me. You are West, and I am East. Mina, Kokushi Muso, South and North…" He glanced at Twilight. "Thousand apologies, Princess Twilight Sparkle. If you wish to play, Mina could…"

"No, no, it's okay, I'll just watch for now," Twilight said quickly. " And Trixie… I mean, Kokushi Muso has been very eager to play, as well. Just as much as Spike, probably."

Mina opened the lacquered box on the table and started taking out the dozens of square white tiles stacked inside. Spike picked one up and looked at the symbol on its side; five stylized canes of bamboo, beautifully painted. "So this is what they look like, huh?"

"Don't tell me you haven't even read up on the game," Mina said. She began turning the tiles face down and shuffling them around with her claws.

"I've read books… and some weird manega… but this is the first time I've seen an actual… you know, the actual game set." He tapped the tile with a claw. "What's it made of? Heavier than I thought…"

"White diamond," Mina said offhandedly.

Spike's eyes widened immediately, and his stomach growled. "D-d-diamond?!"

"Don't even think about it," Trixie said sharply. She snatched the tile from him with her magic and dropped it on the table. Together, she and Mina stacked the tiles into a wide square, two levels high.

"Mahjong teaches discipline, focus, perspective," Babylon said. "Good qualities for a young dragon wishing to grow properly. Making the tiles out of that which is precious and delicious and tempting the greed is a good lesson."

Mina leaned over to Spike. "He just likes to see us kids squirm," she whispered.

"I am not yet deaf, young Mina," Babylon said. "Fear not, ravenous young Spike. We shall have refreshments later. But now, we play."

Spike contemplated the tantalizingly delicious tiles standing in front of him. Thirteen in total, to be formed into a winning 'claw'. It wasn't complete by any stretch of imagination, but it had started well. Three identical one-bamboos, or one-Sou as Trixie had called them; one pair of seven-Man (the ones with a red squiggly symbol); and a three-Pin (the circles) and a four-Pin, which he had completed with a five-Pin drawn from the wall.

Best of all, he'd started with two East Winds, and when Trixie had discarded a third one, he'd claimed it with a 'Pon'. He was pretty certain that was a good move.

He glanced at the center of the table, where a dozen discarded tiles lay. Was he supposed to memorize which tiles had passed and try to figure out what the others were holding? That seemed complicated, but he suspected that it was part of the game. Master Babylon could probably read him like an open book, the way he gazed back in that classic 'inscrutable old master' way of his. Trixie was probably doing that as well, if he were to hazard a guess. Even though he had scored a small victory stealing that East Wind from her, she didn't look too bothered. She just kept up that smug 'I'm smarter and better than you, I know something you don't and I'm going to win' face she always used, no matter how she was playing. It could mean anything. And Mina… smiled back at him in her usual friendly way. She didn't seem to take the game too seriously, and was probably going easy on him since it was his first time. He wasn't sure if he should be offended by that.

Meanwhile, Twilight kept craning over his head and looking at his tiles while breathing down his neck in a way that was frankly annoying. He had indicated that maybe she should go pester someone else, but Trixie had shot fireworks at her when she tried to get near. At least she had stopped trying to give him tips. He could win this on his own. Or at least lose with dignity.

He discarded a two-Man he probably didn't need… and then beat himself mentally. Over on the dead wall, the 'Dora' tile - one tile turned face up - showed one-Man. That meant that two-Man was 'Dora', so any of those tiles would automatically be worth extra points, like in Scrabble. But if he couldn't use it to complete his claw, there was no point to it. Right?

A few more turns passed. He noticed that three South Winds had been discarded, so that one was useless now. He drew a West Wind, noted that two more had already gone, and discarded it without regret.

The Yaku was tricky. You couldn't declare victory without one. Of course, exactly what counted as a Yaku was the real challenge, since there were all sorts of things. Trixie had 'joked' that he'd forget all about it and try to get a victory without one and humiliate himself, so he'd made real certain to remember it perfectly and not give her the satisfaction… wait. Had Trixie insulted him just to force him into memorizing the rule? That sneaky little… Still, his three East Winds counted. He was West, but the Seat was East. So he was in the clear there.

Another few turns, with nothing spectacular happening. It was curiously eerie to not hear anyone say anything other than naming their discards. Trixie in particular. So much empty silence and she wasn't even trying to fill it up with speaking. Was she actually taking the game seriously?

He discarded his third nine-Pin, feeling a little remorseful at the loss of a perfectly functional Pon. Even though he wouldn't have known it at the time. His next tile was a Green Dragon, which just looked ugly. At least the red one had a clean style, and the white one was ultra-minimalistic, being completely blank. "Green Dragon." Into the discards it went. Mina ignored it, drew a tile from the wall, then discarded a Green Dragon of her own. "Green Dragon. Reach!"

"What?" Spike said, confused, as he snapped out of the game-trance he'd been slipping into.

"She declared Reach," Trixie said. "If you have an almost complete claw just waiting for the last tile and it's hidden, you can declare Reach and wager a thousand points. Then you must discard every tile you draw and ignore all the other players' discards until you find a winning tile, so you're locked in and can't change anything. But if you win, you get extra points from your wager."

"That's right, Spike," Mina teased while she placed one of her score sticks on the table. "I'm gonna win."

"Oh yeah?" he said. "Maybe I can do the same thing."

"Not with that open Pon there," Trixie said. "Hidden only."

"Oh…" Spike frowned. Fine. He could still win, right? He drew an eight-Man. With his six and seven, he'd have a Chi; cheap but doable. He'd just have to discard his other seven. It hurt a little to split a good pair, but… perspective, right? And now he just needed a two-Sou to complete his pair and he'd win! Yes! And that one hadn't been discarded even once yet, so the odds were good.

The game went on. Discard… discard… discard… the last nine-Pin, huh… discard… discard… Master Babylon discarding a two-Sou…

Wait, what? "Ah, uh, Ron! That's the word, right?" he said hurriedly.

"That's exactly the right word, young Spike," Babylon said. "Now reveal your claw."

"Oh, right." He turned over his tiles. "Is it good?"

"Mostly garbage," Trixie scoffed. "Only one Yaku, and a cheap one at that."

"Don't listen to her, Spike," Mina reassured him. "That's a perfectly fine claw. And you get the points I wagered, so that's always a bonus." She took a few score markers from Babylon's side, added the one she had wagered, and gave them to Spike.

"Now we will rebuild the wall and proceed to the next round," Babylon declared.

Spike blinked. "Wait, there's more?"

For almost his whole life, Spike had had the unusual privilege of being carried on Twilight's back. Although definitely not too spoiled to walk, it had often been the most expedient way of moving around, especially when his short legs wouldn't afford the speed to keep up with the ponies. So, rather predictably, he was very used to being on Twilight's back, even comfortably so. Certainly comfortable enough to sleep while she was walking down the street of Fillydelphia at night.

"Wow, he's out like a light," Mina said,giving her fellow dragon a light poke that failed to rouse him. "He was really on fire tonight."

"Would you expect any less?" Trixie said. "Tonight was the night when he finally became an adult."

"Er… Miss Trixie, mahjong may be part of our cultural heritage, but it's not a rite of passage," Mina said.

"Zzznrrk… Menzen Tsumo… zzz…" Spike muttered, rolling over.

"Still, he played pretty well, I think," Twilight said. "He won a few times, after all."

"And lost more than a few times," Trixie said. "Good to know I've still got it."

"Grandfather still won the long game," Mina pointed out.

"He usually does," Trixie admitted. "We're a thousand years too early to beat a player of his caliber."

"...San Shoku Dokou… hnnn…" Spike muttered.

"It was really very sweet when you met him again," Twilight said playfully. "I didn't know you had it in you, 'Kokushi Muso'."

"You do realize that teasing me about the nickname I earned by completing one of the most spectacular and improbable claws in the whole game makes no sense, right?" Trixie said. "It would be like teasing Rainbow Dash about becoming a Wonderbolt or insulting you by calling you 'Princess'."

"...Okay, you have a point," Twilight admitted. "Still, I suppose you'll want to visit more often."

"Maybe," Trixie said. "Now and then."

"Ooh! You can stay at my place!" Mina exclaimed. She rubbed her claws together. "But you know what you have to do, right…?"

"I said I don't want to talk about my so-called 'villainous past'," Trixie said.

"It might be therapeutic," Mina suggested. "Talking it out. And entertaining for me. Come onnn! I just want to know your deep and tragic story!"

"Ugh, fans," Trixie muttered, pulling her hat down on her head. "And I thought Snips and Snails were bad…"

(This one really grew out of control. Especially since I was supposed to do another TFOS skit. Points if you know where Babylon is from.)

Session 15.1 Kichi (Slight addition by me)

Shining Armor, Princess Mi amore Cadenza and somehow King Sombra and Queen Chrysalis looked to each other. They were in the Crystal Empire sitting in the throne room, Shining Armor invited them to test for a new game and they were waiting for the final player.

"Twilight is late..." Muttered Shining as he was looking to the others.

"So... You tried to return to your empire only to be almost destroyed by the power of love thanks to a magical artifact?" Asked Chrysalis as she put her hoof in front of the mouth to hide a little how she was smiling.

Sombra that was biting a crystal looked to Chrysalis with a angry stare.

"At last I was not shoot away with my army thanks the power of your food" Smiled Sombra.

Chrysalis was about to answer when a bright pink light appeared and a white alicorn filly appeared.

"Hi Mommy, Hi daddy, Hi uncle Sombra, Hi Auntie Chrysalis, I'm here to play today..." Say the filly waving the hoof.

Cadence awoke from her dream and looked at her large belly. "Dear... I want donuts, dipped in soy sauce."

Session 15.2 Alex Warlorn

"You're beyond insane Chancellor Cinch! You can't control the Umbrum! You'll destroy the Crystal Empire!"

The Chancellor teleported to the far end of the end. She fired a beam from her horn at the float crystals in the room, creating a shift ring of lasers around the room. "We will control the Umbrum! And when we do, King Sombra will save the Crystal Empire, not doom it!"

The Shadowbolt 5's jaws dropped in and out of game. When Sunny Flare said he'd found a way to sneak into an unfinished portion of the game of Equestria Online, Sugar Coat had of course said if they were caught they were likely to get banned. Indigo Zap and Lemon Zest thought that just made it more exciting. And Sour Sweet was just bored.

The area for the Crystal Empire expansion (that was still in alpha, with the next expansion nearly done with its beta (AT LAST)), and the NPCs were mostly incomplete, as was their dialogue, and texture maps were missing. There was however, apparently a time battle to defeat the 'King Sombra's minions, and restore the crystal heart to its rightful place, meaning the entire dungeon had to be beaten in a time limit. It was again, mostly incomplete... but the Shadowbolt 5 hadn't expected, was one of the bosses to an obvious pony version of their dictator like principle.

"Who works at that game company that she ticked off?" Was all Indigo Zap could say.

They didn't get a chance to answer as a Yak in full plate armor appeared out of nowhere. "Players in area players not meant to be! YAKS DESTROY!"

"RUN FOR IT!" Lemon Zest cried and galloped away.

"WE'RE DOOM! Oh wait, we can just log out idiot." Said Sour Sweet and did the 'log out' command.

Session 15.3 Kendell2

The group had continued to play the game, and after Trixie defeated the Fishpony Pirate's captain (by using a technique involving piledriving him through his own hideout with magic handkerchief ropes generated by her Fruit (which she'd called 'Sho Sho No Mi', or Show Show Fruit, to fit the Show Magic theme), the group had finished their last stop before entering the Grand Line.

Rainbow Dash had picked up replacement swords, since her two non-Grade swords had been shattered in her duel with Hawk-Eye (the Griffin who was the World's Best Swordsman) to become his Worthy Opponent. One of which was cursed and required a luck role to obtain to see if her character's luck beat out the curse, which it did, and got another Grade sword, meaning all three of hers were now . Trixie had had a run in with the local Marine Captain, another Hopeless Boss Fight, but she did put up as best of a fight she could before having to retreat.

"Why does a guy MADE of smoke smoke anyway?" Rainbow Dash asked. Smoking was very rare in their world, normally only dragons did it because of health hazards (Dragons could breath volcanic ash with no problems).

"Probably because he can without harm due to being made of smoke?" Twilight asked. "Alright, now we''ve got two paths we can take," she explained. "We have an optional Filler Quest we can do."

"Filler?" Starlight asked.

Twilight nodded. "They're arcs the audio drama adaptations made up to fill time when they over took the Manega and are noncanon. As a result you don't NEED to do them, but you CAN to get some extra level grinding in and get extra treasure, and normally a few unique items."

"Hmm..." Trixie said. "And what is this filler mission?"

"Helping a little girl with the ability to speak to animals save a Millennial Dragon from some corrupt Marines trying to use his bones to make an immortality position, by getting him back to his home island where he'll be reborn," Twilight explained.

Fluttershy gave a gasp. "We're helping animals?!"

"Well, technically A animal. But yes," Twilight explained.

Trixie blinked, looking at Fluttershy's excited look. "...Trixie thought you were afraid of dragons."

"...Um...I am...but when it's in danger...um..."

"Trixie understands. Fine, we help the girl. Besides, befriending a dragon has advantages."

"And an ancient dragon might be helpful for my character," Starlight explained, her character being an archaeologist.

"Alright, Filler Quest taken," Twilight replied, giving a smile.

Session 15.4 Alex Warlorn

Rainbow Dash smiled. "Good thing we found out that floating island thing was just a superstition, and the guy who recounted its existence was just a glorified Trixie, uh, no offense Trixie... Uh, Twilight, why are you banging your head against the table?"

Session 15.5 MtangaLion

"Sorry, Ah'm late, everypony," said Applejack, limping a bit as she joined her friends at Ponyville's train station.

Rainbow Dash looked away from the arriving train and hovered over AJ. "Are you feeling alright? It's not like you to show up last."

"Next to last, darling," Rarity gently corrected her.

Fluttershy flew in for a landing just then, short of breath. "Sorry... Bumblebee emergency..." Nopony questioned this.

Pinkie prodded AJ's shoulder with a hoof, and blinked with wide eyes when the farmpony stumbled a bit. "Maybe AJ's been working too hard. I can throw you a 'Taking a Break' party if you want." She started bouncing in place. "Oooh, oooh, can I?"

AJ snorted. "Me, workin' too hard? Ain't no such thing, sugarcube."

Twilight groaned. "Didn't we already have this argument four or five years ago?" Unlike most days, the Alicorn actually looked the part of a princess... she'd put on silver hoofshoes and a small crown.

Rainbow Dash scratched her mane. "So... talking wolves? What's that all about?"

Twilight beamed. "Actually, they're a previously unknown breed of Diamond Dogs. More intelligent than the packs we tend to meet around here... advanced mystical arts, very secretive. Apparently, they were living in the far north for centuries, and we never knew until they had a border dispute with the Crystal Empire just recently." She looked up. "Ah, they're here!"

The train car doors slid open, and three "wolf dogs" padded out... a large silver-furred male who would have been about the size of a pony stallion on all fours, wearing a vest and a moonstone on a golden chain, and two smaller dogs who immediately took to sniffing all around, alert for threats.

Twilight bowed politely. "Prince Erik! On behalf of everyone, I'd like to welcome you to Ponyville."

The large wolf grinned, keeping his fangs hidden. "Ah, Princess Twilight Sparkle. Greetings! It is good to be having a *friendly* meeting between our two kinds, yes?"

"Absolutely," said Twilight brightly. "I'm honored that you chose to stop here before going on to Canterlot. If you'll come this way, we have some refreshments."

Twilight led the way at first, but Prince Erik quickly moved to walk alongside her, with the smaller wolves loping alongside on all fours to guard their flanks. The rest of Twilight's friends exchanged puzzled glances, before following along behind.

"We've heard many things about you," rumbled Prince Erik. "Some question whether you are truly the Princess of Friendship, or the Princess of Gaming."

Twilight blushed. "I admit, maybe that has gotten a little out of hoof. It's kind of taken over the whole town." They came to a tent in Ponyville's main square, with some temporary tables set up. "I thought you might like to try some spiced meats from Ponyville's new griffon restaurant."

One of the smaller wolves tasted the meat first and nodded to the Prince, who took a larger portion with his bare forepaw, gnawing and chewing thoughtfully. "Good, yes... quite flavorful."

Fluttershy seemed to be biting her lip to keep herself from saying anything. Curiously, Applejack edged towards one of the side tables and reached a hoof towards a piece of meat.

The Prince himself slapped AJ's hoof away, "Ah ah! These spices are very strong, yes? Not good for ponies."

AJ coughed. "Sorry, Ah didn't know! Ah was just curious, was all."

Rarity looked at AJ like she'd grown a second head. "Pinkie Pie is going to throw you that party, darling, and you are going to attend. I must insist."

The big wolf chuckled. "Since you a such a fan of gaming, Princess Twilight, I thought that we might play a game while I am here. A Wolf game." He smiled and folded his "arms" across his chest, letting his fangs show a bit this time.

"I love learning new games!" exclaimed Twilight. "How do we play?"

Prince Erik chuckled. "We are playing it already, princess. One of my wolves has replaced someone you know. Perhaps even one of your closest friends! You have two hours until my train leaves again, to discover which one. If you cannot..."

He trailed off, as they all heard loud hoof beats approaching. Applejack came galloping around a building, panting, disheveled, and missing her hat. "We've got a big problem, girls! Some varmint drugged mah apple pie and left me in a closet! Good thing Ah didn't finish that pie, or..."

Applejack froze, staring at... Applejack? She started pawing at the ground, snorting. "You! Varmit! Imposter! Ah'll make a wolfskin rug out of yer hide! Gimme back mah HAT!!"

The Applejack that had walked with them from the train station let out a very canine yipe and dodged a hoof that smashed one of the tables to kindling. "Now hold on now, missy! Ah can explain!"

AJ snatched her hat and jammed it back on her own head, while her friends gawked, and the wolves all face-pawed. "And quit talkin' like me! The jig is up, whoever y'all are!"

"What, and break character? Nothin' doin!"

Twilight twitched. "Now, everypony and wolf... let's calm down..."

Erik snarled. "Alisa, you ruined game before it starts!" He jabbed a claw at her. "The plan was perfect, take Element of Honesty so she cannot reveal truth! You had one job, Alisa, one job!"

"Oh, shut yer yap," growled the imposter. "Ah had to do farm work so they wouldn't get suspicious... farm work, in a dang blasted pony costume!"

Prince Erik rolled his golden eyes. "Oh dear, *work*. You poor cub. You are wolf, yes!? You are strong, strong as any earth pony."

"Ah beg to differ! Mah back's aching something awful, and Ah didn't have any excuse for not bucking apples, so now mah paws are *killing* me!" Alisa lifted an orange hind hoof, shaking it limply. "Plus, Ah'm starvin', dangit!" The not-an-orange-farm-pony seized a large piece of leftover spiced meat, drooling and fangs gleaming, and literally wolfed it down.

Fluttershy fainted on the spot. Rarity put a hoof to her mouth, cheeks suddenly bulging. Rainbow burst out laughing in mid-air.

Erik face-pawed again. "Disgraceful. You are banished, and you will live in Ponyville, in that costume..." Alisa sank lower and lower the further the Prince went. "... removing it *only* when no pony will see, until you learn to infiltrate a pony village properly."

"Don't Ah get a say in this?" asked the real Applejack.

Alisa smirked. "Don't you fret none. Ah doubt Ah'll be impersonating *you* again. Ah've learned mah lesson."

Twilight gritted her teeth. "You certainly won't be! No one is going to be doing *any* more impersonating of ponies around here!"

"Of course, of course!" said Erik. "You must deal with any unauthorized wolves that you find in your town, however you see fit and your laws require."

Twilight sighed with relief. "Thank you, your highness. Now... Alisa, right? If you come with us and cooperate, I'm sure I can talk the mayor out of... pressing charges?"

The fake AJ was nowhere to be seen.

Twilight stamped a hoof. "Your highness, please! This could cause an international incident!"

The Prince gave her a sharp-toothed grin. "No, Princess Twilight. This is merely round two of the game. Now, I hear there is a famous bakery in these parts..."

Session 15.5 BrutalityInc

“Gizmo Myron Point-Dexter, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!” Shining Armor roared, bursting into Gizmo/Point-Dexter’s suite in the Crystal Palace.

Gizmo spat out the glass of orange juice he was drinking as he beheld the enraged (and simultaneously terrified) army unicorn marching up to him and hauled him up to his snarling face by his collar via telekinesis, “S-S-Shining! Why are you so upset? What did I do?” Gizmo squeaked out, trying to avoid his death glare.

“You tell me!” Shining growled. Then he started shaking Gizmo, “The game! Where did you put the game?!”

“... You have to be more specific. We’re making like, what, two games per week by now?” Gizmo asked confusedly.

“The one we’re suppose to be play-testing today!” Shining reminded him, “I was in the dining-room to oversee the staff setting things up, but instead I found the game Oubliette Quest! You didn’t send that other game to my sister and her friends yet, have you?!”

“Oh... Oh!” Now Gizmo understood why Shining was upset. He mixed up Oubliette Quest with that game by mistake… And then he remembered just what kind of game that was, and went pale with horror as he realized the full ramification of his mistake. “Oh, fewmets… it’s already in the mail!”

Shining cursed and dropped Gizmo onto the floor, “Do you have any idea how much trouble we’ll get into if they played it?” Gizmo nodded dismally. “We have to hurry! Get Gaffer and 8-Bit! If we board a train now we still might make it in time!”

He turned and gallop down the corridor, with Gizmo getting up and galloping after him. As he ran, frantic and terrible thoughts went through his mind about the potential consequences should his sister and her friends played this game – Her sister and her friends traumatized by the dark and depressing world the game is set in; Princess Luna raising their internal doubts and guilt over the bloody and gory game-play as nightmares to haunt their sleep; his wife Cadence lashing out at him with anger and disappointment over his negligence (And their yet-to-be-born child somehow smacking him with a baseball bat, again)…

This game wasn’t for the faint of heart, and he had promised he won’t send any dark games to his sister in the foreseeable future, for the sake of her sanity and his conscience. He had only hoped that he wasn’t too late.

= = =

He was, of course, too late.

“The game? Oh, we got it early in this morning thanks to Muffins!” Spike told them at the entrance of the Friendship Castle. “Twilight and the others had been playing it for the past hour!”

Terror gripping their hearts, the stallions brushed past Twilight’s dragon assistant and made a beeline for the main throne-room. Too late to kill momentum from their dead-heat run, Shining used his own speed, his body’s mass and a shield spell to literally ram open the doors of the throne-room …

… to find six happy mares sitting around the table playing a board-game; they were laughing, cheering, eating snacks, and clearly having a good time.

“BBBFF!” Twilight exclaimed as the rest of her friends noticed the four stallion’s sudden dramatic entrance. “I didn’t know you are visiting today!”

“Twiley!” Shining exclaimed, too panicked to notice what Twilight was saying, “I’m so sorry I sent you the wrong game I know it’s dark I didn’t meant to traumatize you are you all alright - !”

“Shiny, calm down! What do you mean dark?” Twilight asked, confused, “We’re having fun with it!”

“I’m so sorry I – wait, what?” Shining stopped motor-mouthing out of incredulity, “You mean… you liked it?”

“Liked it? It’s awesome!” Rainbow Dash called out, “What makes you think we don’t like it...?”

= = =

Session 15.6 Mooncalf99

Twilight rubbed her chin contemplatively as she looked over the central table, which today was covered with a hex-tiled map of what appeared to be Ponyville. Rarity had said several days ago that she wanted to test her own attempt at a game, and… well, it certainly looked very enterprising. Each tile had clearly designated terrain types - streets, buildings, woods, fields, water, and so on - but were lovingly painted with care and skill, with all the landmarks readily noticeable. Several stacks of card in different colors lay on a nearby table, neatly organized, next to several stitched bags.

On the other hoof, all but the most center area - with the castle in the very middle - was full of little game markers depicting parasprites. There was no mistaking those innocently menacing big-eyed faces.

"I call it 'Parasprite Assault'," Rarity said. "It's a working title, so if anypony has a better suggestion… anyway. The general premise is that hordes of parasprites are descending on Ponyville, continuously spawning from the magical rifts around the border and moving towards the center. If they reach the castle, you lose."

"Great, now they come out of portals," Pinkie Pie grumbled. "As if they weren't bad enough normally."

"Sorry, Pinkie dear," Rarity said. "I know your personal distaste for them, but I needed a threat that was… well, mindless, as it were, and they fit the bill. I thought of using zombies first, but… eech. No."

"So that's how you lose," Rainbow Dash said. "How do you win? Clobber them all? 'Cuz I could totally go for smacking around those pests."

"To win, you have to seal all the rifts, as well as defeat all the sprites on the board," Rarity explained. "I'm considering a time limit as well, but I'm not sure it's needed. We'll see how long it takes. This is all very experimental."

"There's so many of them," Fluttershy said. "Can we really defeat them all? Also, when you say 'defeat'…"

"I'm sure you can determine for yourself what that means," Rarity said diplomatically. "Stuff them in a bag, knock them unconscious, whatever you prefer. Now…" She placed a small bag full of red stones in front of each player, along with a player marker showing their cutiemark (or a different personal symbol for the non-ponies in their group). "You all start at the castle. These stones represent your action points… don't eat those, Spike, they're not real gems."

"Bleah," Spike said in disgust. "Tastes like ash."

"Yes, they're magically created, so they're not actually made from anything except normal background magic," Rarity said. "Anyway, moving to another square costs an action point, and attacking costs an action point. As does searching for equipment to help you fight. Normally you only defeat one parasprite per attack, but weapons increase your attack range. However, every attack risks your weapon getting eaten by the parasprite, so if you're unlucky, you'll spend a lot of points searching for new ones. Now, the interesting thing about a point-based action system is that we don't have to take turns. As long as you have points, you can do whatever you want, or you can hang back and let the others act before you."

"What happens when you run out of points? Can you get more somehow?" Twilight asked.

"Oh, yes!" Rarity said. "You have to buy them at ten points per bit." She laughed. "Just kidding, darling. They actually replenish magically every few minutes. You start out with fifty points, and you can have up to a hundred and fifty saved. The upside is that you can take a break if you have a more pressing engagement elsewhere, and you can just get back in and catch up when you're done. Bear in mind that I advance the sprites in real time, so…"

"So it's a pretty long game, then?" Applejack asked.

"Yes, I was hoping to make one of those games that could potentially last for days, and involve a lot of players working together or independently, and jumping in whenever they can. In fact, I spoke to a few others earlier, and they said they might show up if they have time." Rarity frowned suddenly. "Oh dear, maybe I shouldn't have used the Cutie Map as a table. What if we have an emergency?"

"It'll be fine, Rarity," Twilight assured her. "Worst case, we'll just work around it. Now, I'm guessing that the sprites aren't going to just sit there while we fight them?"

"I sure hope not," Discord said. "I didn't make the parasprites to be… I mean, I didn't make the parasprites. Haha, what a crazy idea, me creating an unstoppable species of vermin capable of spreading terror and devastation wherever they went. Don't know why I even brought it up." He shrank back from Pinkie's decidedly un-Pinkie-like death glare. "What I was going to say was, do they fight back? Do something weird? Anything?"

"Indeed they do," Rarity said with a smirk. "To begin with, every time you attack them, there's a chance they infect you with sprite fever."

"Sprite fever?" Applejack asked with a raised eyebrow.

"If you have a better suggestion, I'm all ears," Rarity replied. "If you're infected, you lose health every time you make an attack, with a bigger health loss the bigger the swarm in your area. As your health drops, you take penalties, and when it reaches zero, you're penalized a number of action points and moved back to the castle. The only way to get uninfected and restore health is to find a medical station, or if another player who has the Medic skill can reach you. Either way, it costs action points."

"Hang on there," Twilight said, ears perked in interest. "We get to have skills?"

"You certainly do," Rarity said, passing out several simple sheets. She rather enjoyed it that way, presenting new things along the way instead of giving them everything at once. "You can heal others, build defenses, replenish action points faster, dodge infection, take less damage, increase chances of hitting a special sprite…"

"A what now?" Pinkie asked.

"Whenever too many parasprites gather in an area, there may spawn special, more powerful sprites," Rarity explained. "Unlike the regular ones, they can dodge, so you need to roll dice to see if you hit them, with your choice of weapon affecting the chance. They also have unique abilities… which I won't tell you about until you encounter them." She grinned like a cat; she was enjoying this. "Anyway, defeating a special sprite is worth fifteen points, while the regular kind are worth one. Raising a skill from zero to one costs a hundred points, from one to two costs two hundred, and so on. All of you start out with zero in all skills."

"That's going to take a lot of fighting to get anywhere…" Starlight mused. She had been quiet for the explanation up until now. "Still, I appreciate that everypony starts out equally, at least at first."

"Naturally, dear," Rarity said kindly. "Nopony and no one gets any unearned advantages. Besides, you'll benefit from helping each other, so if one player gets better at something it's just an advantage to the players as a whole. After all, this isn't a game where only one player wins. Either you all win, or you all lose."

"That's… actually a very good point," Twilight said. "I didn't realize that at first! Teamwork is definitely going to be important here, guys."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm just gonna trounce them," Rainbow said cockily. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let get started!"

Oh, you are going to regret those words, my overconfident friend, Rarity thought with a smirk. "Yes, let's."

"Okay, ah'm gonna defend the Acres," Applejack said, moving her marker several steps towards the orchards. "Bare hooves ain't gonna cut it, so let's try searchin' this field…" She plucked a light green card from one of the item decks. "A shovel, huh? Not bad. Takes out three sprites per whack. Then I go inta the next area an' whack the two baddies there. What's the roll fer avoidin' gettin' infected?"

"There's two of them, so anything above two on a percentile," Rarity said. "It may be too easy, but this is just a preliminary test."

"Looks like I'm safe. Time ta clean up mah home," Applejack said.

"I'm cutting across the park towards the forest," Rainbow Dash said. "There's some thick clusters that way, and I wanna see what Rarity's cooked up for those 'super-sprites'."

"Girls, maybe we should have some kind of strategy?" Twilight suggested. "Like say not run off half-cocked and risk getting into trouble? We need to cover the map properly so they don't slip past us."

"Pfft," Rainbow snorted. "Flying off half-cocked is my best style! Now, since my in-game self apparently doesn't have my baddie-punishing moves, I need to find something cool. What's the the park?" She dug through the deck. "Nothing… nothing… a lawnmower? Whoa, 1d8+5 damage? That's some serious whacking!"

"What the hay?" Applejack protested. "Ah want somethin' better than this shovel! Cheatin'!"

"Sorry, AJ, but I'm just awesomely lucky that way," Rainbow laughed as she moved ahead through several lightly occupied areas, taking out each swarm in one hit. "Time to mow down the serious opposition!"

"You should probably be careful, Rainbow," Fluttershy warned. "Wouldn't it be better to raise your skills a bit first? I'm going to clean up the smaller swarms before I go for anything big…"

"Nah, moving around too much is just a waste of action points," Rainbow said. "I'm going for the motherlode." She moved her marker into a forest tile." Okay, so what's there?"

"Thirty parasprites, a Nibbler and a Belcher," Rarity said. "Remember, you can only attack a single special sprite per action, and the chance of hitting is determined by your weapon."

"And the lawnmower has a 25% chance to hit…" Rainbow read. "Eh, good enough. Let's take a whack at that, uh, Belcher?" She rolled. "Aw, miss."

Rarity made her own rolls. "Well, the sprites don't manage to infect you. The Belcher spits up six parasprites."

"Six?" Pinkie said. "Yeesh, that's gonna be a problem pretty quickly."

"No prob, I've got like a chance in four to hit, so I'll just take four swings," Rainbow said dismissively. "One more try… aw, miss again."

"The Belcher adds another seven sprites, and you barely avoid catching the fever," Rarity said with a wide grin, clearly enjoying herself. "Also, the Nibbler successfully Nibbles you."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Rainbow said. "It's trying to eat me or something?"

"Well, it's not actually hurting you or anything, but it's latching on to your face and won't let go. Until it's been disposed of, you can't move, take special actions or fight anything other than the Nibbler."

"Great. I need to whack something that's sitting on my face, and all I have is a lawnmower," she grumbled. "If this was for real, I'd look ridiculous."

"I warned you," Fluttershy admonished.

"One more try," Rainbow muttered. "Aw yeah, a clean hit! That's fifteen points, right?"

"Right," Rarity said. "And five more sprites are belched forth. Aaand you have sprite fever and take seven points of damage."

"Ugh," Rainbow grunted.

"A harmonica, huh?" Pinkie said. "Nice nod to the stuff that actually works, Rarity!"

"Of course," Rarity said. "It's balanced, of course, but I'm assuming you can pacify them with the music."

"Do I get extra bonuses if I can find a whole instrument set?" Pinkie asked eagerly.

"Hmm… I see what you're getting at, but I don't want to change the rules in the middle of the game," Rarity said thoughtfully. "I'll consider it."

"I guess I'll just fight normally for now," Pinkie said agreeably. "Aw, they ate it! Okay, I need to search for something else… ooh, cymbals! Take that! No, don't eat them too! Okay, a tuba! That's five down and don't eat the tuba! Waah! Why are musical instruments so fragile and delicious? Okay, what's this…" Her eyes widened as she read the card. "Flaming hotsauce breath technique? 1d6 damage? Can't be lost?!?"

"Isn't that a bit of a game breaker?" Twilight asked.

"It's not really that powerful, and fairly rare besides," Rarity said. "It seemed like a fun idea."

"Forget the music, I'm burning everything!" Pinkie exclaimed. "Whee!"

"What's an automatic fireworks launcher, and why would Bon Bon have one in her shop?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Better yet…" Scootaloo said. "How can we get one in real life?"

"Good going, Rares," Applejack said sourly. "Now the real Ponyville's gonna get burned down too."

"Oops," Rarity said apologetically.

"I say, I'm in a bit of a tight spot here," The Doctor said. "Pinned down, infected, low on health… could really use some help, you know?"

Vinyl Scratch obligingly moved her marker towards his position… then changed course and passed him by with a smirk.

"Good grief, you're not still holding a grudge, are you?" The Doctor protested. "I swear, some ponies…"

"Don't worry, Nurse Muffin to the rescue!" Derpy announced, skipping her bubble-adorned marker across the map. "I bought the Medic skill, so I'll have you fixed up in a jiffy! There you go!"

"Thank you, old girl," The Doctor said. "At least some ponies know the value of teamwork."

"Unfortunately, while you're uninfecting him, the parasprites counter-attack and successfully infect you," Rarity said.

"Oops," Derpy said with a grin.

"Maybe we should make a tactical retreat before patching up," The Doctor suggested.

"You miss, and the Dazzler Dazzles you," Rarity said. "You lose an additional action point for being zoned out."

"I try again," Starlight said. She rolled. "17? That's not enough…"

"Afraid you're Dazzled again," Rarity said.

"Okay, I retreat to Fluttershy's cottage and look for something useful, since this tree branch isn't working." She drew three cards before getting something. "Hypnospell? Can only be used three times, but that's enough. I'm not going to ask what that was doing in Fluttershy's home…"

"Random draw, really," Rarity said. All house areas have a chance of finding things like that."

"Or maybe our game designing friend is trying to insinuate that I leave dangerous magic around where the unwary can find it and wreak untold chaos," Discord suggested. He paused. "Mental note to self…" He scribbled something down on a sticky note and stuck it in his head.

"Better put it ta good use," Applejack said. "At least y'all can use magic."

"No, no, any player can use the spells they find, regardless of what kind of pony they are," Rarity protested. "As well as non-ponies, obviously. What do you take me for? I'm not giving out unfair advantages or disadvantages here."

"Good, because no proper game should do that," Starlight said. "And yet…"

~~~~~~

Meanwhile…

"Jeez, get a load of this, will you? If you play as a caribou, you're completely immune to magic," Gaffer said, frowning with disapproval. "Total gamebreaker. And whoa, if you play as a mare, you get crippling penalties to… well… practically anything. And that's not even getting started on the fluff. Whoever wrote this has issues. No, subscriptions! Can you believe this?"

"What I can't believe is that you have that piece of literary horsedroppings to begin with," 8-Bit said. "I think even Twilight would burn it at a glance, and she once preached for fifteen minutes about how 'every book is sacred'."

"You know the old adage: 'Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it'," Gaffer said. "Still." He carefully ziplocced the book, stuffed it into a bag, and then teleported it away, hopefully never to be seen again. "And now I gotta go wash my hooves."

"I thought you were holding it with your magic?" 8-Bit asked.

"Yeah," Gaffer said. "Your point?"

~~~~~~

"And now that Town Hall is free, The Great and Powerful Trixie will spend ten action points and unlock the Orbital Friendship Cannon!" Trixie declared with her usual flair.

"Wait, wait wait wait wait wait," Rainbow Dash interrupted. "There's an orbital cannon in the Town Hall?"

"No, in orbit, obviously," Trixie said with a roll of her eyes. "But the controls are in Town Hall. Didn't you read the manual?"

"There's a manual?" Rainbow asked.

"Whatever!" Trixie said. "Can Trixie fire high-yield magical doom from the heavens now?"

"Go right ahead, Trixie," Rarity said. "Pick an area on the map."

"Trixie chooses the one over there, swamped with parasprites." The magician grinned. "The one where Rainbow Dash is."

"No no no…" Rainbow winced. "This is gonna suck, isn't it?"

"A blinding blast of rainbow light shoots out of the sky," Rarity said. "All parasprites in the target area and three tiles away are defeated. Of course, the player characters within range are completely unaffected," she added.

"Of course," Trixie said. "Trixie knew that all along."

"Yeah, like cirrocumulus you knew… still, now that I'm not getting munched to death, I'll--" Rainbow's eyes widened. "Aw, man! You stole my kills! I was gonna defeat those!"

"There's just no pleasing you, are there?" Trixie said.

Having vanquished everything in his way, the courageous pegasus moved his marker into the outermost border zone.

Rarity smiled with satisfaction at the accomplishment. "Okay, you're in one of the magical rifts, where the sprites are spawning, and you need to close it. However, you're facing forty-three regular parasprites, three Dazzlers, four Belchers, two Nibblers, and a Crusher, the last of which is even bigger than usual and looks like it can hurt you even without infecting. Are you ready to take them on?"

The pegasus contemplated his odds and came to a conclusion. "YEAH!" Bulk Biceps yelled.

"I told you we should use a strategy," Twilight admonished. "But no, you had to fly ahead and tackle them head-on. And now look at where that got you."

"Yeah, yeah…" Rainbow Dash muttered. "So I got knocked out a few times. I still don't regret it."

"Right…" Twilight muttered. She couldn't disagree with that, since having fun was the point of any game, but she preferred having fun while making good progress. "What's the situation on the rifts?"

"Most of them are closed," Starlight said. "I'm working on the north side, Trixie's working through the west, and the Crusaders are in between. The poison joke bombs I've been grinding in the forest are really good against the Crusher, by the way. Possibly a little too good. Overpowered, maybe?"

"Good point, thank you," Rarity said. "Maybe change that next time… how about a limit on how many you can carry?"

"And what's the situation on the midfield?" Twilight asked.

"We're cleaning up," Spike said proudly. "Some stragglers here and there, but nothing threatening."

"Why are you asking like you don't know, Sparkle?" Trixie asked. "You can see everything on the field."

"I like to have everypony up to date, okay?" Twilight said. "Okay, I attack the Crusher on my position with…" She looked at the card again. "'SCIENCE!', apparently. Exclamation mark and capital letters and all. Really, Rarity?"

"What can I say? It seemed like a fun idea," Rarity giggled. "Okay, the Crusher goes down, and your Cleave skill allows you to take out the remaining fourteen parasprites at the same time. Area clear."

"I seal the rift," Twilight said. "Everypony, let's finish this."

"Aw, we were gonna leave ours open so we could grind fer extra points," Apple Bloom said.

"Don't draw things out, Apple Bloom," Applejack said. "Ah knock out the remainin' ones over here in the Acres."

"South Ponyville's cleaned out like a bakery after a visit from Princess Celestia!" Derpy announced.

"That's the last ones gone in the west meadows," Spike announced.

Vinyl put her hooves together, and then yanked them apart to mimic an explosion. She grinned.

"Just a moment while The Great and Powerful Trixie vanquishes her foes," Trixie said. "And it's done. Rift closed."

"And I close up the last one here," Starlight said. She fell silent for a moment. "That's it, then? We won?"

"I think we did," Twilight said. "Good work, everypony."

"Ahem," Discord said.

"Yes, of course. Good work, every…" Twilight stopped. "Discord, did you actually do anything?"

He drew himself up. "Why, princess, I'm offended! Of course I did. I provided essential moral support for the team."

"Then why's yer bag chock full o' points like ya haven't spent any?" Applejack asked suspiciously.

"Ah-ah, not so fast, darlings," Rarity said. "Just when you thought you were done, an enormous shadow falls over the area…"

"Okay, this can't be good," Pinkie said.

"Understatement o' the month there, Pinkie," Applejack said.

"As the last rifts close, the gigantic… Ultimate Parasprite! Appears over the castle!" Rarity announced dramatically.

"'Ultimate Parasprite'?" Discord asked in dismay. "That's the best you could come up with?"

"Don't ruin the moment," Rarity said, annoyed. "Anyway, you must defeat it in order to win. And it has an actual health pool that you must reduce to zero, and it'll fight back. Oh, and if you lose all your health, you're out of the game completely, and if all the players are out, you lose. Have fun, darlings."

Twilight looked to her left, and then to her right. Unicorns, pegasi, earth ponies and other fellow players looked back with determination. She smiled grimly. "Let's do this."

Session 15.7 Alex Warlorn

"Twilight!" Rarity barged in, bright red in the face, and a look that could obliterate armies if looks could kill. "I need a royal edict to ban all tabloid news in Equestria!"

"… Rarity I'm not sure if I have that authority, I'll have to check the law books, a mortal pony becoming a Princess isn't exactly new, all Alicorns before me were born that way. So really-"

"Ugh! Twilight!" Rarity stomped her hoof on the crystal floor. Spike steering clear of his perfect beauty. "I don't have time for this! My reputation is being destroyed even as we speak!" Rarity took out the Equestria Inquirer. 'Element of Generosity Produces Racist Propaganda Games.'

"Wait… is this … this is about that stupid 'escape from the diamond dogs game? I thought that was settled."

"Yes, my fictionalized account of being kidnapped, and put into slave labor in the heart of Equestria 'offended' the Diamond Dog clans who were not even involved, and in retrospect was a gutless act of political correctness on our party… but the game is still selling well and being produced in Yakyakistan and Griffonstone … the Diamond Dogs found the griffins and the yaks a lot less quick to fold when it comes to being sued."

Twilight wondered just how legal action even WORKED for the Yaks… she likely didn't want to know… as for the griffins… she doubted they even had a legal system for suing, they didn't even have their currency, still using Equestrian bits.

"But that isn't the POINT darling! The point is that the rags, DO NOT CARE! They heard about the makers being sued for making a 'racist' game, which became a 'racist propaganda game', and of course since your brother's friends aren't very famous and don't make for juicy gossip, they decided to stamp me as the 'maker' even though all I did was provide my account and quality control!"

"Rarity, this is the tabloid, I HATE some of the things they've said about Celestia, but it always blows over."

"Like Gabby Gums 'blew over?'"

"That's…. complicated… the point is, no intelligent pony is actually believing this."

"I had a pony in Canterlot refuse to do business with me because he didn't want to be associated with a 'racist!'"

"Your Canterlot outlet is still doing good right?"

"Sassy is keeping things going smoothly now that she understands the concept of 'product diversity.' But DOESN'T end there Twilight! Not at all! Read the next page!"

"The next page?"

Twilight read it… her eyes widened… "This is… this is horrible… You're making a anti-zebra propaganda game?"

"NO I'M NOT YOU IDIOT!… I… Sorry Twilight, wait, no I'm not. Twilight! Somepony must have seen me chatting with Zecora when we had a debate over cross cultural fashion… I… I… It calls me he 'Element of Racist Propaganda!' What sick creature would invent such bucket of lies?!"

Spike offered helpfully. "Want me to get greedy and step on their news stand?"

"… I… no darling… thank you for offering Spikey-Wickey… but such a show of violence always back fires. And ultimately ENCOURAGES such ideas."

Twilight turned blue, then white, then her mane caught on fire. She'd read the article on her. "I AM NOT ENGAGING IN EVIL INEQUINE ALICORNIFICATION EXPERIMENTS! I have fifty years before you girls start dying of old age, my research into you becoming Alicorns are all scheduled for decades down the line, and I'd NEVER EVER DO THAT TO ANY LIVING CREATURE, let alone a close friend or a sapient equine!"

"Your planning what?" Rarity asked surprised.

"NEVER MIND! Forget you heard that! Spike! Take a letter for Celestia! And get a message to Zecora! The only way to fight misinformation is with real information… plus a trust worthy face… "

Session 15.8 Ardashir(OOC: Sequel to brutalityinc's idea.)

Shining Armor blinked. Poindexter, Gaffer, and 8-Bit all looked around the room as he slowly spoke, to be certain of the answers he was getting.

"So... little sis, the rest of you. You LIKE this idea?" He levitated the gamebook. It was done in blacks and crimsons save for one slit-pupil draconic eye at the center right under the title. NIGHTMARE: THE CORRUPTED. "I mean, you like this?"

"We sure as rootin' do," Applejack said, looking down at her character sheet with a laugh. "Heck, Dash, er, Ah mean 'Nightmare Manacle' an' me are keepin' a running score on how many o' those 'Oblivion minions' and other, nastier Nightmares we stop."

"Yeah, and speaking of which, 'Nightmare Mirror'," Dash smirked as she pointed down at her dice, "I beat those weird two-legged whatevers 'Nightmare Anthro' was sending at us. Looks like the Fiercest Loyalty beats the Harshest Truth. Again." She ducked as Applejack chucked a half-eaten fritter at her.

"But," Shining Armor looked around at them all. He flipped the book open to show them some of the art. "You ladies have fought a Nightmare. This game is about becoming one and what you do with that power! It's about how power without moral or ethical restraints corrupts and destroys! Deep and philosophical concerns..."

"You sure about that?" Pinkie snickered and pointed at the book. Shining looked and flushed to see an image of a very sexy Nightmare winking at the viewer. He gave Poindexter a furious glare. The scrawny pony wilted.

"Blast it, I thought I told you to tell the Art Director not to use that one, it gives ponies the wrong idea!"

"I did!" Poindexter yelped. "I mean, er, I'm sure I said something along those lines."

"Umm, yeah, well," Gaffer nervously scratched along his mane. "Remember, the Art Director is a minotaur. He said he doesn't really 'get' what makes pony mares attractive or not."

Shiny groaned as he envisaged the angry letters from furious mares. Possibly including his annoyed wife.

"It's no worse than some of the mare characters in your old comics, Shiny," Twilight grinned. "I still remember when you had a crush on Mistress Mare-velous." Upon noticing the dismayed look on Shiny's face, she perked up. "Oh, come on, BBBFF! Not every game gets received the way its creators intend. Besides, this game has a lighter side."

8-Bit looked at her in disbelief. "You're playing ponies one step up from Tartarus at best, and it has a lighter side?"

"Oh, yes," Fluttershy looked up from her side of the table. "You can try to redeem yourself by doing heroic or kindly things, like saving innocent ponies from monsters..."

"And you get cool powers to do it with," Dash chimed in. "Heck, sometimes when we're busting villains I wish I could tie them up with iron manacles forged from my tormented soul. It'd be easier than chasing them when they run away."

"You? Tormented?" Rarity shook her head. "Oh, but dear Poindexster, Gaffer, and 8-Bit, I appreciate the idea that non-ponies can go Nightmare as well in the game. Spike so loves my dragoness character, Nightmare Charity, doesn't he?" She laid her neck over Spike's shoulder in an equine hug, and the little drake flushed pink right through his scales.

"This wasn't what was supposed to happen." Shiny set his face in his forehooves and groaned. "But as long as you're happy -- wait, sis?" Twilight smiled at him. "I know I'll be sorry, but what Nightmare do YOU play? Some fiend that torments Equestria's foes forever?"

"What? No!" Twilight shook herself. "Well, it is kind of silly, but you're looking at Nightmare Librarian." Twilight flew up above the table. "Ponies who damage or let their books become overdue had best beware, or I'll make them all write 100,000 word essays on 'The Most Boring Things in Equestria'!"

As the mares broke up laughing, Shining Armor just left, his friends following him, and all looking for the nearest convenient rock to start beating their heads against.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Session 15.0 Mooncalf99 (This one really grew out of control. Especially since I was supposed to do another TFOS skit. Points if you know where Babylon is from.)
Session 15.1 Kichi (Slight addition by me)
Session 15.2 Alex Warlorn
Session 15.3 Kendell2
Session 15.4 Alex Warlorn
Session 15.5 MtangaLion
Session 15.5 BrutalityInc (Author's Note: I got this idea for an entry, but I couldn't finish it because I don't know what game could be fit in for the second half that matches the criteria set in the first half. So I'll just leave this here for anyone to take a spin on. Oubliette Quest mentioned by Shining Armor is a homage to the game DungeonQuest)
Session 15.6 Mooncalf99
Session 15.7 Alex Warlorn
Session 15.8 Ardashir(OOC: Sequel to brutalityinc's idea.)

Cover art by Jittery-the-Dragon

Session 32

Session 32.0 Grogar-the-oneser

(Two humiliating hour later.)

"HAHAHAHAHA," Trixie shouted with a derange grin, "I defeated you this time, no more tricks, no more planning, just pure force."

"Trixie... you scare me," Applejack said.

"Also slightly inaccurate as you did use one trick," Fluttershy pointed out.

Trixie had used her character to purposely insult fictional yaks and telling them Villainous Vile purposely insulted their mothers by saying they were not perfect. As you can imagine it did not end well for Villainous Vile. (Twilight only prayed that the Yak Embassy didn't hear about this stereotyping).

"Still at least we finally defeated Twilight," Pinkie said.

"Uh, don't you mean Villainous Vile?" Fluttershy asked.

"Yep, you sure did," Twilight said with a grin.

"...Why are you smiling?" Trixie asked with a frown.

"Do you know what a pyrrhic victory is?"

"That's where victory inflicts such a devastating toll on the victor that it is tantamount to defeat." Rarity said with a frown.

"Yep, now think of how much your reputation has been tattered after trying to catch the guy," Twilight said. "Especially to the king in the capital, a capital by the way still hunting for the group that attacked that guard."

Trixie eye twitched as she turn to glare at Rainbow. "Err.... again sorry about that," Rainbow said with a weak chuckle. Trixie;s response was to tackle Rainbow.

+

"Hmm.... should we stop them?" Spike asked as he was sitting next to Starlight.

"Nah, let the others do it, besides Trixie need to vent some frustration out anyway," Starlight answered.

"True enough, by the way pass the popcorn."

Session 32.1 Alex Warlorn

Sugarcoat, Indigo Zap, and Sour Sweet were still keeping an eye on Lemon Zest, and Sunny Flare in case they tried to immigrate to Magic Pony Land again... even if that meant hanging out every night.

"Why isn't this wonderful!" Chirped Sour Sweet, then snarled. "Werecars, you just had to give her the idea for werecars!"

It was a generally accepted rule at Crystal Prep, never ever ask Sour Sweet if she'd taken her medication. While it was a sour and humiliating subject for her, which for CP students meant smelling blood in the water, it was like taunting a dragon, and it was a matter of debate if Sour Sweet actually took medication for her bipolar attitude or not, even the four other girls she'd begun hanging out with unconsciously, weren't sure of the truth.

"What are you complaining about?" Indigo Zap laughed. "We got onto a roof fine, and we've got enough ammunition to last all night!"

"You can say that again!" Lemon Zest said, playing 'Highway To the Danger zone' on her walkman. "Evil lycanthrope cars are still cars! We're raking in the kills!"

"Correct me if I am wrong, but don't we get more experience for curing them?" Sugarcoat asked. "All we need to do is pierce their front tires with silver darts, which I brought plenty of I might add. Or simply call them by their Christian names."

"You're making those up!" Lemon Zest insisted.

Sugarcoat pushed up on her glasses. "Not in the least. Those are accepted and in the rules ways of curing werewolves."

"And we're STUCK mindlessly rolling attack dice for however long this last! It's boring!" Sour Sweet complained.

Sunny Flare was like a zombie. Her beautiful comeback had been turned into a turkey shoot. But she was not beaten yet. She looked up a sound effect on her phone, and played it.

That sound, was all the Shadowbolts needed to hear, to know things had just turned nasty.

"Okay! Everyone be on the look out for a blue boom-box!" Lemon Zest said.

"How is that even a DISGUISE anymore? Who still USES boomboxes?!" Sour Sweet protested.

"Hey!"

"I wouldn't worry about that." Sunny Flare said.

= Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance OST - I'm My Own Master Now =

"Before your eyes, the cars transform, becoming robotic quadruped, with sharp claws, swinging tails, and sharp teeth. They all howl at the moon with a metallic echo! They begin to climb up the walls, leaping from window ledge to window ledge, determined to add you to their numbers, or end you."

"Exciting enough for you?" Sugarcoat asked.

"YES!" Sour Sweet snarled, a huge grin on her face. "Bring it on!"

Sugarcoat idly wondered how the Wonderbolt's star athlete was doing with her poor grades.

Session 32.2 Grogar-the-oneser

"Hey, since the front wheel option is out due to transformation not to mention we have no bloody idea what their real names were, was there a third cure," Indigo Zap said.

"Yes, A Sicilian belief of Arabic origin holds that a werewolf can be cured of its ailment by striking it on the forehead or scalp with a knife," Sugarcoat said in her usual tone of voice.

"Really? cool," Sour sweet said. "Dips on the scalping by the way!"

Session 32.3 Alex Warlorn (spoilers for this week's episode)

Cadence knew what was coming that weekend the moment Thorax officially became the first changeling subject of the Crystal Empire.

She wasn't that surprised when Chrysalis under guard (since they weren't stupid enough to leave her without one) stormed into Cadence's audience chamber.

"I WANT THE TRAITOR BROUGHT BEFORE ME IN CHAINS SO I CAN FEAST ON HIS BLOOD AND DISPLAY HIS EMPTY CARAPACE BEFORE THE HIVE AS A WARNING TO ALL WHO'D OPPOSE ME!" Chrysalis calmed herself. "Oh excuse me, thinking of our next RP session, it's my turn for Dungeon Master you know, what I meant to say is that I can't wait for Thorax to return to the swarm so we can give him a proper warm changeling welcome. Poor thing is obviously suffering from some genetic abnormality, my own fault really for not getting him the help he needed right after he hatched."

Session 32.4 Grogar-the-oneser

"No," Cadance said.

"I WILL BREAK YOUR WINGS IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME THAT PATHETIC- ahem. Come now I know you're still sore about the invasion thing, so why would you keep a changeling in your kingdom?"

"I realized that what you did to me shouldn't make me prejudice to all changelings who want to live peacefully," Cadence said.

Chrysalis' eye twitch.

"Very well, but know this. I will make your life miserable for this later on, you won't know how, you won't know when, but you will suffer," Chrysalis growled.

Session 32.5 Grogar-the-oneser

Back in Ponyville -

"I don't understand the point of this RPG, why would you play this?" Thorax questioned.

"For fun," Spike said.

"I kinda get that, but pretending to be someling else? How is this different from being a normal Changeling?" Thorax questioned.

"For several reason, now if we were LARPing then I can say you definitely have a point but RPGs are different enough that I think you will enjoy it," Spike explained.

"Alright i'll give it a shot.... quick question though."

"What that?"

"What the heck LARPing?" Thorax questioned.

Session 32.6 Ardashir

"You know... LARPing!"

Thorax looked clueless. Spike scratched his head.

"That's when you roleplay, but instead of doing it around a table, with dice and pencils and paper, you do it like you were acting?"

"Oh." Thorax seemed to get it. "Like what Queen Chrysalis had some of us doing after we lost the Battle of Canterlot!" Thorax changed, turning into a dewy-eyed Shining Armor. He said in an awful imitation of the stallion's voice, "Oh, Queen Chrysalis, I should have stayed with you! You're so much better than that skanky old alicorn Cadence! She's just going to get fat and lose her looks one day!"

"Okay," Spike said with a shudder. "I think that was enough."

Session 32.7 Alex Warlorn

Spike The Dog sighed. It was late at night. Having been uplifted to sapience by random magic, he was still a dog. Which meant he according to paper work, was still a pet, and still had all the rights of one. He was split if him being able to speak would get him on talk shows, or get him vivisected. While humans weren't stupid enough to stand like target-dummies when a Nightmare was throwing fireballs around, they were likely to brush off a girl with wings as a cosplayer.

On the bright side, at least it meant he still had all the responsibilities that came with being a pet. IE, none. Which meant he could play World of Horsecraft while the others were saving Rainbow Dash from her own bad grades. He was still stuck with Purple Pup as a mare, since Twilight still refused to pay for the micro-transactions to make her a stallion, and Spike was NOT about to start from scratch!

His martial-artist earth pony mare trotted through Ponvyille where it was late at night in the game world too. Not as many players on as during the busy hours. Since the release of the Reigns of Chaos expansion, rumors were circulation that Discord was going to become a roving mob, but hopefully none of the game designers were that stupid. The next expansion... assuming it ever came out of course, no MMO stayed king forever, had not revealed anything besides the trailer for defeating Discord. Of course there were hacking who said they had 'free tickets' into the beta zone of the crystal empire zone where the majority of the expansion would take place.

Hopefully the Princesses wouldn't get kidnapped, brainwashed, or sealed away in this one.

He checked the list, none of the Guild or his online buddies were online.

Maybe he should log off? Or maybe just do some grinding or farming. One good thing about being a talking dog, he could grind a lot more than his human teammates. Sure he might have lied a little about being being the legal age to play the game, but in dog years...

With little better to do, Spike rode a train to where the Crystal Empire was 'prophesied' to appear, or at least, the edge of the Equestria map where the frozen wasteland would hopefully become available to explore. It was nice to visit once, but nothing to really keep anyone here yet.

That was he spotted a strange black and teal colored pony-like insect mob. This was new. Maybe this was something that got accidentally patched from beta-testing? What was that command for screen capture again!? Imagine the stir he'd cause on the forums!

When one teal colored flash of flame later... he was looking at a character that looked just like his? Was this a doppelganger fight? Then another flash and there was a blue earth pony looked to be made of glass.

Purple Pup looked up at the character's name above its head.

-CrystalHoof- Hadn't it said something different before?

Then CrystalHoof SPOKE "Uh, hi. I didn't expect anyone else to be out this late at night."

Was this an NPC?

"Uh, hey, I didn't either." PurplePup responded. "What are you doing here?"

"Uh, just, just seeing the sights."

"Hey! I know you! You're one of the crystal ponies aren't you?" Some hacker called Shadow5 had leaked some concept art.

"Huh?! Oh right right! That's what I am! Crystal Pony I am! I'm CrystalHoof, and you are?"

"Uh, I'm PurplePup."

"Well, uh, nice to meet you, PurplePup... Uh, would you like to go on a quest? There's a quick and easy fetch quest nearby that doesn't need a whole party to get done."

"Sure, sound like fun." Maybe he was an NPC, maybe he was a modder, but it wasn't like Spike was doing anything else. And this as a non-PK area anyway.

The fetch quest involved just collecting some gems from an underground cavern that was half frozen over, and dealing with some random mobs, nothing truly dangerous, and the reward was just gold bits.

As they had split up the reward, Crystalhoof gasped.

"I NEED TOGOBYE!" And Crystalhoof froze up like a statue, staring out at nothing. PurplePup did the emotica to wave a hoof in front of his face, and nothing. Then the character just vanished.

In the real world, Thorax looked up, hoping he'd force quit the program in time.

Vice Company President Chrysalis glared down at Thorax. "You're not taking that new experimental tribe for a joy ride are you?"

"N-no!"

"Good. Ugh! The changeling tribe is too overpowered to be in player's hands. Able to change into any other tribe and even into objects? Not to mention the enslavement hexes. It would be a game breaker if players got their hands on it. It was designed for play-testing the new areas AND for admins only."

"You know if you just lowered the combat stats, and gave a bigger cool down to their shape shifting, I think they'd actually be a playable-"

"Are you a game designer now Thorax?" Chrysalis asked with no smile on her face.

"No."

"Good. Then go to bed. Kevin is already asleep." Chrysalis didn't know Kevin had been able to keep the existence of his own changeling PC TealGoodBadBug secret from her.

"Yes mam."

In the real world, Spike was curious, he made a point to visit this area at the same time later to see if Crystalhoof would 'respawn.'

Session 32.8 Grogar-the-oneser

"Are you sure you want me to buy every last copyright of 'Alicorn Princesses' with your money Cadence?" Gaffer asked.

"Yes, I need somepony I trust to change all the Cadence cards to show the real me, plus this gives me a excuse to use my baby to BLAST THEIR COMPANY TO OBLIVION!" Cadence shouted.

"... You do realize I'm only buying the game's copyright, not the group that makes it."

"Oh... never-mind," Cadence said as she walked away slightly embarrassed.

"Yeesh, if that was just from a card game, I'd hate to see how she'd react to a video-game version of her," Gaffer muttered.

+

(In Another Reality)

"Hmm..."

"Something wrong boss, aside from that guy who let the crystal pony art-leak happen I mean?" Game Designer Discord asked.

"No... just feeling a strange sense of a massive future head-ache," Company President Sombra muttered.

Session 32.9 Mtangalion

A hoofball flew through the air. It landed on the roof of Sugarcube Corner, then rolled down and bounced off Gilda's head before landing in her outstretched talons.

Pipsqueak, Rumble, and Button Mash came galloping after the ball. They skidded to a stop and gaped up at the griffon looming over them. Gilda glowered at the colts, then patted Pipsqueak on the head, returned their ball, and went back to eating her ice cream.

At another outdoor table, Kevin the changeling shook his head. "Ponyville is getting stranger and stranger these days."

Alisa the Diamond Wolf wagged her floofy tail thoughtfully. "You said it."

Thorax, the other changeling, relaxed a little more and ate his peanut brittle. "I could get used to this."

Later, inside Twilight's crystal palace, Thorax was absolutely enthralled by one of the gaming machines, and not just because of the monitor's bright flickering light. "This World of Horsecraft is absolutely amazing!"

Spike grinned, nudging his new friend with an elbow. "I know, right? You can be whatever you want."

Thorax worked the keyboard and mouse with his magic, flying his new pegasus character to the next questing hub. "Technically, I'm still a changeling pretending to be a pony, but in the game world I'm a pony the same as any other pony!"

Alisa chuckled. "Good for you, but Alisa prefers to be wolf pretending to be wolf pretending to be pony!"

Thorax blinked at her. "There's Diamond Wolves in the game too?"

Spike shrugged. "Not right now, but a little birdie's been hinting that there might be a big surprise at the next CrystalCon."

Alisa growled, shaking her head. "Alisa's pony is secretly a wolf in game world. It's her RP backstory!" She pointed at her own computer screen. "I downloaded roleplaying mod and everything!"

Spike rolled his eyes. "Riiight, and Helping Claw is secretly a dragon in a griffon-suit."

Alisa beamed, putting a foreleg around him. "See? You're a good roleplayer already! Now you just need tragic backstory."

Session 32.10 Mtangalion

President Sombra had always wanted to start a meeting in his swivel chair, facing away from the table, before dramatically spinning to face his minions. He never could get it quite right, though. Like today, for instance, when his chair spun a quarter turn too far, and he had to awkwardly get it facing the right way while Discord glanced at his watch and Chrysalis expertly hid her smirk behind her smart phone.

"You may have noticed," Sombra began, "that the forums are completely jammed with posts demanding that we add talking yaks as a playable race. Talking. Yaks. Oh, and get this... If the imaginary yaks aren't perfect... these posters will 'destroy' our servers." He threw his arms wide, making a "Bwhoosh!" sound. "Does anyone want to explain how this happened?" he snarled. "Anybody at all?!"

-- one month ago --

Flam and Flam waved through a portal to... another Flim and Flam, who gave them matching thumbs-up gestures.

Flim turned back to Prince Rutherford with his million-bit smile. "You're all set! Thanks to the artificial mirror portal that you're leasing from us..."

Flam stepped forward. "The proud yaks of Yakyakistan now have access to the human Internet!"

"At a low monthly cost..."

"Conveniently payable in precious gems!"

"Plus a small overage if you exceed your monthly data cap."

"But honestly, how often would that ever happen?"

-- back in the present --

Princess Twilight Sparkle paced in front of two con-ponies, currently locked up in the basement of her castle, a place that she had tried and failed to prevent ponies from referring to as her 'Friendship Dungeon.'

"You *built* a portal to *another world*," she ranted. "The secrets of Starswirl's mirror have been lost for ages. Your invention might... just might be a scientific marvel *unequaled* in our century. And you used it to enable yaks to play a *video game*... so you could *scam* them. What! is! wrong with you two!!?"

Session 32.11 Grogar-the-oneser

"Technically we didn't make it so much as... contained it," Flim stated.

"Indeed, we saw a strange portal showing a world of weird bipeds so we decided to contain it."

"You contained it," Twilight deadpanned, but inwardly wonder if they were talking about Midnight Sparkle's portal rampage.

"Yes, after we contained the rogue magic, we remembered your friend Rainbow bragging that you royals had a magic mirror for a different world so we decided to do that."

"Are you telling me you used a spell created by an unknown source and forced it into a mirror to see if you could replicate what you heard from Rainbow Dash's bragging... I don't know whether to be impress or angry."

"Well whatever you are, I can tell you it was the best decision cause we met the greatest pair since us..."

"You met yourselves didn't you," Twilight said deadpanned (again).

"Yep, and we made a perfect plan."

+

In the human Flim and Flam's store there are plans of using the mirror, introducing it to suckers and finally a picture of them holding LOTS of money.

+

"Yes, those were good time," Flim stated.

"Indeed so, now that we got that settle, free us from this dungeon," Flam said.

"IT'S NOT A DUNGEON, IT'S MY BASEMENT!" Twilight snapped.

"Then why are we shackled?"

"To make sure you don't run as I explain the risk of opening portals all willy-nilly without realizing how dangerous that could be," Twilight said pulling out a huge book. "Chapter 1, 'So you made a portal.'"

"HELP!!" the Flim Flam brothers screamed.

"Do you hear something?" Starlight asked as she, Discord, Gilda and Trixie were playing poker upstairs.

"No," the other three said.

Session 32.12 Kendell2

"Patty cake, patty cake, baker's mare, back me a cake as fast as you can..." Cadence said, doing the motions with Flurry Heart. She then turned to Thorax and let him do the same.

The Changeling followed the same motions with the little filly who giggled as he did so. "This is fun..." he admitted, being glad Cadence TRUSTED him enough to be around her daughter...even if having someone watch. Baby steps.

Cadence nodded. Admittedly, Chrysalis wanting to publicly execute Thorax for being a traitor had made it much easier to accept him. "Flurry Heart seems to like you, and being around her might help you."

"It is, thank you..."

There was a knock on the door. "Oh, one second..." she said, looking to Sun Burst, who nodded.

Cadence headed over the door, Thorax proceeding to continue playing patty cake with the filly.

However, the filly then noticed something...

Opening the door, Cadence blinked, finding Sun Burst staring at her. "Sun Burst?"

"Hello, Princess. You called me to keep an extra eye on Flurry Heart and Thorax's visit?" the unicorn asked...then blinked. "What?"

Cadence pointed her horn, preparing to grab what she was certain was an impostor given the LAST time a Changeling infiltrator had tried this stunt...

Only to hear a scream.

She turned to see Flurry Heart grab Thorax and throw him a surprising distance...right out of the way of a concealed dagger being swung at him in 'Sun Burst's' telekinesis.

The fake Sun Burst blinked in confusion...before having his hoof grabbed by the filly. "...I knew this was going to end badly..."

Cadence cringed as Flurry Heart let out a tantrum and proceeded to slam the Changeling overhead into the ground behind her, repeatedly, before hurling him into the wall hard enough to make an imprint.

"...And that is why we haven't had you put those Earth Pony strength limiters on her yet..." Cadence admitted.

Flurry Heart went over to Thorax. "Thanks..." the startled Changeling replied, giving a smile. Flurry Heart booped his nose and giggled, then held out a hoof to prompt another game of patty cake.

"Ow..." moaned the infiltrator.

"What do you mean you're suspending my right to have an embassy in the Empire if you find one more infiltrator in your castle trying to harm your subjects?!" Chrysalis questioned. "I told you, random Changeling acting alone!"

"Once is a random event, twice is a coincidence, three times is a pattern," Cadence replied. "Be glad we're still having our game tonight..."

Chrysalis grumbled. "Fine, like I care one Changeling defected anyway...your move."

Session 32.13 Alex Warlorn

"Alright girls!" Twilight said. "I've been thinking. We've had way too many giant groups for our games lately. And too many 'wacky' adventures."

"Too many?" Rainbow Dash asked. "It's been over a month since we played Teenagers from Outspace!"

"Yes, and with such a large group, it's proven harder and harder to get everypony together to play."

"We have our teams split in two so you and Spike can both handle the work load!"

"Yes, but the fact remains that it seems like its gotten harder and harder to progress. So I thought we should go back to a small group of just me and the five of you."

"What about Spike?" AJ asked.

"He said he wanted to do some Ogres and Oubliettes Classic with ... a friend."

"Ah see..."

"So we are gonna be killing monsters and taking their stuff again?" Rainbow Dash eagerly for some straight vanilla dungeon crawling.

"I have a better idea!"

There were groans.

"Now now! This is another one my brother made! And I happen to like it! Legacy of the Cosmic Heroes!"

"Oh! Is this like Power Ponies?" Rainbow now grinned. She hated to admit it, but living the adventures had gotten her interested in the comics, which was likely the point.

"Nope! It's about cosmic space battles between the republic and the empire."

"So we get giant robots again?!" Pinkie Pie hopped in place.

"Nope. This is slightly more 'hard edge' science fiction. That means no aliens, no giant robots with silly attack names, and... I guess it does have faster than light travel. But the point is that the focus is on the ponies, not some giant robot."

"Well...I guess that can be interestin'." Applejack admitted.

Rainbow Dash snorted.

"Now now girls." Twilight smiled. "Me and BBBFF wrote the back story together. The Republic and the Empire are not as black and white as they first seem. And..." Twilight dropped a book on the table that make the entire room shake. The other ponies suddenly felt very worried. "There's a lot of back story and complexity to this world! Let me share some with you to get you up to speed."

'Some' of infinity is still infinity, as the ponies soon discovered as Twilight reading off about crumbling empires and corrupted from within republics and complex political situations just stretched, and stretched for eternity.

'Some' time later, Twilight said, "And that should about cover the basics. Uh, girls?"

Rainbow Dash was snoring with her head on the table.

Applejack looked like her brain had broken down.

Fluttershy was doing her best to smile, but kept fidgeting.

Rarity was grinning at the mere idea of such a massive space opera full of such charming and handsome characters and political intrigue.

Pinkie Pie stared in perfect understand and comprehension of everything Twilight Sparkle had said.

"Uh, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, would you like to sit this one out?"

"YES!" They all said together.

"Oh, okay then."

Session 32.14 BrutalityInc

Looking back, Shining Armor and Twilight wasn’t overly surprised at Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Applejacks’ cold reception to their epic space opera campaign.

Fluttershy never liked anything military related (her derailing of Shining Armor and his gaming friends’ “Whoops! Apocalypse” game notwithstanding). Rainbow Dash never demonstrated any appreciation for works with higher complexity than ‘hot-blooded action and adventure!’. Applejack is more interested in tales of personal, down-to-earth struggles and tribulations… although something told Twilight Applejack was somehow also personally peeved by the whole premise, particularly some of the central themes.

For the record, Twilight doesn’t mind if some of her friends doesn’t share the same interests as she did. No-pony is perfect, after all, and she was not going to force anypony to enjoy the things she enjoyed, even if Starlight Glimmer had once, before her redemption, insisted that this sort of thing would had been a recipe for conflict, and she could make it all perfect by equalizing everypony and eliminating differences in opinions.

They reckoned that only very few ponies, most likely hardcore sci-fi fans, would even pay attention to such a work if word got out. To their surprise, however, many more ponies, both gamers or otherwise, actually liked it then they expected, and gave it high praises once Shining decided to publish a special edition issue on it in the gaming magazine ‘Yellow Dwarf’, and revealed plans to publish it as its own tabletop game.

Many of these ponies are players who are normally academicians of various fields, working professionals, university students, literary critics, and others with high standards who would otherwise never touch science fiction, had not for ‘Legacy of Cosmic Heroes’ drawing them into the genre and making them come around in their opinions, showing that it is possible for that genre to reach artistic levels of more 'respectable' genres.

They all cited the sheer depth of its themes, setting, characters and overall story-line as part of its main appeal, noting how well constructed the universe was compared to most of the mainstream products, with careful attention to detail that made every aspect of its composition – from the futuristic technologies and military organizations, down to the interstellar politics, the planetary cultures, and social attitudes of the denizens living there - relevant to the campaign story, rather than just gimmicks added on to make the setting more flavour.

It conveyed a sense of scale and history, able to make players believe that they are partaking in an epic struggle for the future of sentient-kind.

Others liked its storytelling audacity, with its willingness to explore themes and ideas through a futuristic context that ponies would normally be uncomfortable with – that of clash between incompatible beliefs, the corruption of ideals, moral ambiguity with no clear right or wrong, the horrors of war, all through a space opera story which chronicled military conflict on a galactic scale, intrigues in the highest levels of government, plots and conspiracies that could span centuries, and battle of wits and skills between great leaders wishing to control the course of history.

None were more enthusiastic than the Royal Guards and military fans. There had been letters which asked her and her big brother to expand it into a proper epic space opera novel series.

Shining Armor, for his part, is really considering it, and finishing a campaign with Twilight’s friends and his friends would go far in helping him writing it out.

“In hindsight, we should had expected Pinkie’s character would pull a hair-brained scheme like this to capture Isohorn.” Cherry Fizzy, playing as an imperial fleet admiral, commented as he read through the notes of the previous session.

“Well, Isohorn is a space fortress that sat in one of only two navigable star routes between the Free Worlds Republic and the Grand Galactic Empire, one of ten others in Imperial territory” Noteworthy murmured in agreement, “I mean, we’re talking about a spherical artificial planetoid 60 km in diameter, armed arcane beam cannon with several hundred million megawatts worth of power capable of wiping out whole fleets at nearly a million km range, and is protected by an impregnable ‘living’ armour of enchanted liquid hydro-metal animated by neo-golemantic magic to act like the Smooze. Add a garrison of a fleet over 20,000 strong and 2 million troops, it’s practically unassailable by the conventional assaults that the FWA had been attempting for the past few decades.”

“So, where brute strength fails, Pinkie’s guile and trickery prevails. Still, I don’t understand how she did it…” Rarity muttered, rubbing her forehead.

It did involve false-fleet movements, infiltrators disguised as imperial troops, a computer virus, and other implements and deeds that didn’t make a lot of sense until they were used. But it worked, and half the imperial fleet garrison got wiped out by their own super-weapon when they tried to retake the fortress, forcing the remainder to flee back to imperial territory.

“In any case, now that Isohorn fortress has fallen, I fully anticipate that the Republic would make good of this once in a century-and-a-half opportunity to invade the Empire’s territory, and perhaps even win the war. However, I have a plan to throw them back.”

“And what plan do you have in mind, milady ‘Edel von Minnesänger’, the ever radiant and victorious Fleet Admiral of the Imperial Armada?” Meadow Song Inquired Rarity, his tone playfully dramatic.

“Now, now, dear sir, let’s not get too flashy with undeserved praise. My character’s only newly appointed by the old kaiserin, after all. And only because my character’s noble brother is the old kaiserin’s partner and therefore in her favour.” Rarity said.

Then Rarity began, “Given the scale of imperial territory, it would take hundreds of thousands of ships and tens of millions of soldiers just to be able to hold onto even a fraction of it. Now, I admit I don’t know much about military tactics as a real-life seamstress, but I know such huge forces requires enormous amounts of support, and if they advanced too deep, too quickly, this would come in very long supply lines.”

“Very observant!” Shining Armor, the GM, was admittedly impressed that Rarity picked this up. “And given the maps, these supply lines would go into hundreds of light years.”

“I am a business mare; I understand logistics.” Rarity boasted, “In any case, to buy time for the Empire to ready a proper defence, slowing down the Republic invasion is a simple matter of attacking their supply lines with hit and run attacks, forcing them to divert needed fleets to guard their rear. And when their logistics and their already thinly stretched forces reaches a breaking point, that’s when we’ll make our counterattack.”

“But the Republic would simply procure resources from Imperial territory to support their war effort.” Meadow Song pointed out.

“I accounted for this; in response, I would also implement a scorch-earth policy during the imperial retreat.” Rarity explained.

“WHAT?!” Caramel exclaimed, horrified by the idea. The others held similarly queasy looks, even if they agree with the military logic behind it, “But what about the imperial citizens left behind - !”

“I know. Admittedly, it’s horrid to leave them behind with little to nothing, but it’s the only effective way to deny the Republic any infrastructure or materials of value.”

“Also… this might work to our advantage.” Cherry Fizzy interjected, “If the Republic are eventually forced to get their supplies from the populace, they might turn on their would-be ‘liberators’ and weaken their hold on occupied territories even further. Not to mention the propaganda coup it would be for the Imperials, ‘exposing the hypocrisy’ of the Republic, destroying their morale while boosting ours…”

In the end, it was agreed and implemented. Shining Armor the GM, or ‘Space Historian’ in this case, of the Imperial players did the necessary calculations, and came up with the results.

“For most part, the preparations goes smoothly. But the Imperial nobles denounced the strategy, calling it cowardly for not having the imperial navy to meet the ‘plunderers and barbarians’ of the Republic and pressured the throne for a decisive battle to be fought, or else have Fleet Admiral Edel removed from command for ‘incompetence’.”

Rarity seethed at this development. The imperial aristocracy had the gall to call her character incompetent, when they themselves is largely responsible for the Empire’s decline with their decadence and tyranny? She’ll have half a mind to have them purged, if the chance ever revealed itself later in the campaign.

Plus, it would work with her character Edel’s backstory, a Byronic heroine who found herself wronged by the Goldenbalm Dynasty that ruled the Empire, with the old kaiserin forcing her brother to become her favourite escort…

“Very well, a battle they shall have.” Rarity declared, “And I think I know the best place to do so. When the time comes, let’s lure one of the Republic’s fleets into the Nebula Wastes of the Charybdis Starzone…”

= = =

A dragonfire mail popped in mid-air before Twilight, the ‘Space Historian’ GM for the Republic players. She opened and read it, briefly turning her attention away from the scene Pinkie was making.

“I thought taking that big shiny ball-shaped space castle would get the Empire and the Republic to stop fighting.” Pinkie muttered sadly, slightly deflated upon hearing the latest developments. “I didn’t think they’ll put me and my fleet in charge of it, just so they could use it to go party-pooper on the rest of the Empire and make the war last longer!”

“There, there, it’s alright. What you did makes sense, all things considered.” Gizmo reassured her, patting her in the back, “With Isohorn taken, the Empire is wide-open to invasion, leaving its defenses wide open and its situation untenable. The long war had already stretched the Republic and Imperial societies to breaking point, so it would had been the perfect time to negotiate a ceasefire and peace treaty to finally end the 150 years long conflict.”

“But as always, politics gets in the way for sane military strategy.” Gaffer noted cynically. Indeed, the lore has the republican government being a bloated, dysfunctional mess by that point. It came to no surprise that the corrupted politicians leading it would want to press on with a military invasion of Imperial territory to drum up political support in the coming re-elections.

Pinkie sighed dismally. She had wanted to this campaign to end on a happy note, and perhaps turn it to a more lighthearted adventure. Instead, she had unwittingly made things worse, leading potentially to more bloodshed and fighting.

It seems reality doesn’t always conform to her or anypony’s expectations. And at the end of the day, her character is merely one pony in a serious future setting, swept up by the tides of history and circumstances far beyond her control like everypony else. She shouldn't had expected her actions would make as much difference, or will automatically make things better, as the heroic band of resistance fighters did in the Star Quest films with this more complex scenario.

Then again, even if she did derailed the campaign spectacularly, wouldn’t she be making a jest of all that effort Shining and Twilight put into making it? Or making a mockery of all the hardships and sacrifices the ponies who lived in that universe experienced, and those in real life who had it as bad?

She didn't know what to do.

But until she did, maybe she could still work to bring a better outcome than would had been possible, hopefully without breaking the setting in the process and making Twilight and Shining upset. That's the last thing she wanted to do right now...

“250,000 ships in 10 fleets, totaling 35 million enlisted troops, and they’ll rather leave it to some ambitious self-righteous commodore, with questionable cred and a stupid name, to do the planning?” 8-Bit asked incredulously.

“Well, he did have the leadership wrapped around his hoof with his over-enthusiastic support for the invasion.” Twilight explained, returning her attention to the table, “Corrupted politicians usually only listen to opinions that they want to hear. And as long as that happens, the invasion will happen, and on his terms.”

“It’s going to be a disaster from start to finish, mark my words. Not unless we do something about it.” 8-Bit rubbed his chin in thought, “The question is, what can we do? The Republic's military had to obey the edicts of the civilian government, even a foolish one. If we pull a coup or something, we’ll be no better than the founder of the Goldenbalm Dynasty centuries ago, who subverted the stagnant and crumbling Federation through military and politics from within and turned it into the Empire with himself as kaiser!”

“Well, we can’t stop the invasion, but that idiot is just a commodore. We can just have Fleet Admiral Mirth 'the Magician' here.” Gaffer said, referring to Pinkie's character s nickname, earned after taking Isohorn, “Or one of us normal admirals of higher rank to pull it on him when the time comes and make proper modifications to the plan.”

“Yes.” Gizmo began, “For one, we’ll need to advance a lot more slowly than originally planned, so we can consolidate our hold on occupied worlds without overstretching our supply lines and thinning our forces, while launching smaller scale raids up ahead to keep the Imperials too busy and distracted, responding to each attack as if it is the full brunt of the invasion. That way, it’ll make them too thin out and depleted in terms of ships and morale to make a proper defence when the real invasion comes…”

Pinkie’s expression brightened as a brainwave hit her, “Oh, oh! Also, we can also get those guys upstairs to send a lot of PR ponies – party-planners, iterators, propagandists and what not – to go with the fleets, to show the locals we’re not meanie invaders!”

“Oh yes, we’ll definitely need that!” 8-Bit noted. "Need to win hearts and minds, after all. Good thinking, Pinkie!"

Twilight could tell, even though this would happen only on tabletop space opera, that a clash of historical proportions is about to begin…

Session 32.15 Alex Warlorn

Starlight looked at Spike in confusion, as she, Spike, Big Mac, and Discord, sat around the notes of Spike's old O&O campaign that had been gathering dust.

"So... WHY was Twilight saying she didn't know what she was looking at, if she'd played this game since she was a filly with her brother?"

"She ain't a LARPer." Big Mac said, mostly because he didn't want Starlight to think he needed 'help' expressing himself again.

"Wasn't a LARPer, I'd say those Power Ponies Comics count." Spike said with a smirk.

"So... did you ever rescue Princes Shmarity?" Starlight asked casually.

Spike blushed. "We kinda... stopped that campaign ..." Spike said blushing. "In retrospect.. it had the typical earmarks of early Overseers... boo-boos."

"And he didn't want to humiliate himself to his sweet sweet with Princess Shmarity now his beauty is playing them as well!" Discord grinned.

"So uh, Starlight! Where' Trixie?"

"I think she said something about playing cards with... sorry, don't know I'm supposed to tell you with who."

Session 32.16 Zaku789

"Eh that's fine, she'll probably tell us in some way in the future," Discord said.

"By the way.... why are the bad guys so cardboard-y?" Starlight said.

"Well I didn't want to kill them," Discord said, Big Mac and Spike gave him a look. "Okay yes, the pain thing was a dumb thing to add, but trust me if they were entirely fleshy it be Squirk down here."

Every-creature gave a blank look.

"You know Squirk, villain who fought the first generation... of pony heroes. He had a villainous crustacean sidekick." Every-creatre still gave a blank look "Sheesh people read a history book!"

Session 32.17 Ardashir

"I remember Squirk," Spike sniffed. "I've read Twi's history books, they mention him there." He picked up the Squizard and sighed. "I always wanted to see him get put into the game. I dunno why they never did," he picked up several other figures and showed them to the others. They were a fat and ugly witch, a demonic goat, and one figure with an aged hag on one side and a lovely sorceress on the other. "I mean, they used Hydia, Grogar, and Somnambula. Why not Squirk?"

"Eh, they probably can't get the rights to him," Discord said. "That or Squirk refuses to settle."

Meanwhile in Tartarus:

"Never!" A gigantic octopus lying underneath what looked like an even bigger sun lamp set to 'Supernova' snarled at the terrified ponies before him. "I once ruled Dream Valley! I refuse to be cheapened into some speed bump for a bunch of nerds in your ridiculous game!" A calculating look came into his eyes. "Besides, why should I? What's in it for me?"

"Well," one of the ponies said. "By arrangement with the, ah, the management, for every twenty games that sell with your image in them we can ship in twenty gallons of salt water for you."

"Twenty?" Squirk suddenly looked interested. He raised one tentacle and mopped his sweat away. "Make it twenty-five!"

"Go for thirty!" Hydia yelled where she sat nearby, manacled so she couldn't run away from the tea party with teddy ears she was having. "Make those rotten ponies pay through the nose!"

Session 32.18 Mtangalion

Spike cringed in his small crystal throne, a bead of sweat running down his brow, even though Twilight had insisted many times that it should be impossible for a reptile to sweat. "Look, Discord. We're grateful for all the extra effort you've gone to."

"As well you should be!" said Discord, pulling back the fur on his lion arm as if it was a shirt sleeve, and tisking at the blinking battery meter beneath. "Why, I haven't done this much magic in one week since that time I..." He coughed loudly into his eagle claw. "... did all those very naughty and hurtful things that one should not casually bring up with friends, ahem!"

Spike nodded. "It's just that, when I said it would be nice if we had more guys for Guys Night..."

"I'm sure this wasn't what he had in mind." Princess... no, *Prince* Dusk Shine glared at Discord. His handsomely mussed purple and blue mane was already getting frazzled.

Shining Armor ran a hoof through his own mane, trying to laugh it off, but nothing seemed to be making this less awkward. "Gosh, I can't imagine what mom and dad are going to think."

Dusk's wings twitched. "Well, I guess we'll never know, since they are *never* going to hear about this, are they, big brother?"

Shining gulped.

"Testin', one two three..." Apple Jack frowned at his booming bass voice.

Big Macintosh was looking mighty smug. "Ah've always wondered what it'd be like, if'n Ah had a brother. Want ta try on mah spare harness? We could be twins!"

Apple Jack's eyes grew wide. "Eeenope!"

Elusive tried several different expressions, and settled on confident, stallionly concern. "I feel dreadfully underdressed." The slim white unicorn stallion with a purple mane styled fit for a royal court grew thoughtful. "But perhaps this is an opportunity to better understand male fashion! I have several pending orders for suits that I might see in a new light. What do you think..." He blinked. "Alisa!?"

Alisa gave Elusive a perfectly innocent look. "Master?"

"Why are you still..." Elusive grinned suddenly. "I see what you did there. Take it off!"

Alisa's ears drooped. "But..."

"Now, if you please."

Alisa growled and muttered, then ducked beneath the crystal table. An unzipping sound was heard, and Alisa popped back up, now a male Diamond wolf with a broader muzzle and bigger paws.

Apple Jack did a double-take. "Hold on just an apple-pickin' minute! How come you had a costume of *yourself*?"

The wolf turned his nose up. "It's magic. Alexei doesn't have to explain *anything*."

Dusk Shine sighed. "I should order you to change us all back right this instant, Discord! But, in the interest of trying new things..."

Discord's face lit up.

"I'm willing to go ahead with the Guys Night O&O game like this..." Dusk grinned. "*If* we agree to have Girls Night next week, with all of you attending! Fair's fair, riiiight?"

"Ah'm in," said Big Macintosh.

Shining started sweating bullets. Figuratively... it was always good to make sure of that with Discord around. "Oh wow, I just remembered! I have a big important imperial function next week!"

"Me too!" Spike blurted out. "I mean... uh... I'm dedicating another heroic statue. Of myself, in the Crystal Empire!"

"That's right!" said Shining, grinning desperately.

"Oh, come now," purred Discord, wrapping his arms around both of them. "It'll be a blast, and I'll be so very *crabby* if I have to magic all these males back into females after a paltry five minutes." Ominous thunder came from nowhere. "I might even make a few... slip ups."

Shining Armor looked to Dusk Shine. "Uh, sounds like fun!"

Spike nodded quickly. "Count me in!"

Discord clapped his paw and claw together. "Splendid! Now, will you be rolling new characters, or are you fine with stallions roleplaying as mares? I hear that's a big thing over in World of Horsecraft..."

Session 32.19 Ardashir

"Hey, Spike, girls!" Rainbow Dash flapped into the room, with Pinkie Pie bouncing along beneath her. "Here we are for tonight's game -- oh." Dash blinked at the sight of the stallions and one male wolf. She began snickering, and then collapsed laughing. "BWAH HA HA HA! This is great!"

"Ya ain't funny, Dash," Applejack said, his voice deep.

"Wow, you sound like a tuba now, AJ." Pinkie smiled as Applejack snorted his annoyance.

"Hah! Hey, is it wrong of me to say that you look good as stallions? Any of you studs free tonight?" Dash rolled in the air, laughing. She grinned at the dirty looks she got. "Why do I never have a camera for moments like this? What, did Discord use his Infinity Dice again?

"No, but it sounds like a great idea," Discord snatched the massive die out of thin air and rolled it.

Everypony froze in horror as it tumbled across the floor, spinning, knocking against the walls, and finally stopping.

"Hmm," Discord said. "Random monster encounter. Oh, don't worry!" He waved his claw at the stallions as they got ready to fight. "Not a dangerous one. More of an amusing one."

"How do you have an 'amusing' monster show up?" Dusk asked. And froze as a pair of yellow forelegs wrapped around his neck from behind.

"Hey there, handsome," Sweetcream Scoops, Ponyville's most lecherous mare, almost purred. "I have NO idea how I got here..." She smiled lasciviously at Elusive and Applejack, "But right now I couldn't care less!"

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 32.0 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 32.1 Alex Warlorn
Session 32.2 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 32.3 Alex Warlorn (spoilers for this week's episode)
Session 32.4 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 32.5 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 32.6 Ardashir
Session 32.7 Alex Warlorn (Any MMO players want to continue this one?)
Session 32.8 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 32.9 Mtangalion
Session 32.10 Mtangalion
Session 32.11 Grogar-the-oneser
Session 32.12 Kendell2
Session 32.13 Alex Warlorn
Session 32.14 BrutalityInc
Session 32.15 Alex Warlorn
Session 32.16 Zaku789
Session 32.17 Ardashir
Session 32.18 Mtangalion
Session 32.19 Mtangalion

Cover image by Duskie-06 ￼ http://duskie-06.deviantart.com/art/The-Great-and-Powerful-Jedi-610472098

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Session 39.1 Part 1 (minor spoilers for season finale)

Session 39.0 Ardashir (Minor SPOILERS for season finale. I haven't seen it myself. Nor have I watched any of the previews. But I HAVE been spoiled due to images. And I don't want to be spoiled more. So no commentary please. So read at your own risk.)

"Uh, your majesty," one of the drones dared to approach Queen Chrysalis, holding something small that shone with a dull metallic gleam. Gulping, he held it out towards her. "Did... you want to keep this?"

Chrysalis looked down and saw a small metal figure in the drone's claws. One of her favorite character from the games -- No! My espionage! -- played with that fool Shining Armor and Cadence. She smirked to think of all the ways she'd abused both the game and their idiot hospitality to amuse herself with them.

The smile faded from her chitinous lips as she thought about other things. How she'd angered Cadence -- and sometimes amused everypony else -- by having her half-succubus mage-thief shapeshift into a duplicate of Cadence's character and seduce every stallion in the inn or tavern or whatever. The time her character saved everyone by energy draining to death the wizard who'd captured them. The horrified looks on their faces when she told them afterwards what it felt like to actually do that to somepony still made her laugh.

Fighting alongside them, negotiating with enemies and patrons, scheming how to steal a fortune, daydreaming how she would break Thorax's neck every time she caught a glimpse of him, so many pleasant memories...

She frowned as a new thought hit her: Do I really have to do this? Could I live in peace with them, forever? Do I even want to? I could always forget my plans and...

Live like some stupid cattle? What the TARTARUS am I thinking?

Chrysalis yanked the small figuring up before her eyes and slowly and patiently destroyed it and every single memory connected to it.

"It was nothing," she snapped at the cowering drone. "Never mention that, ever again."

Session 39.1 Mtangalion

Sunset Shimmer sighed, covering her face with a palm. "NO, Dash. You can't enter the CrystalCon World of Horsecraft costume contest like that."

Rainbow Dash tossed her suitcase in the general direction of their hotel suite's closet, pouting. "Aw, come on!" She spun around, displaying her pony ears and mane and wings. "This would be perfect!"

Sunset smirked. "You can't enter the costume contest because that *isn't* a costume!"

Twilight smiled and tapped Rainbow on the shoulder as she walked past. "Feet on the floor, Dash."

Rainbow looked down, then laughed nervously, dropping six inches.

Pinkie Pie came bouncing into the hotel suite after Twilight. "Well, I think it's great that we can walk around ponied up in front of everypony... whoops, I mean every human! ... and fit right in!"

Sunset grinned. "Well, yes, there is that." She focused, sprouting glowing pony ears and a longer mane... AND a pair of wings like Dash's.

Fluttershy gasped, finding the courage to display her own ears and wings for once, even giving Sunset a quick hug. "Sunset, that's amazing! You finally did it! I know you worked really hard on that."

"Well, yeah..." Sunset blushed. "I knew they had to be in there somewhere."

Rarity rushed right over. "Congratulations, darling! Now, if only I could get my telekinesis working again, instead of just these diamond shield things..."

Applejack entered the room last, carrying most of the rest of their luggage without breaking a sweat. "Hey, y'all. Look who Ah found."

Gilda knocked on the half-open door, then strolled on in, turning sideways to squeeze her big griffon wings and tail through. "Hey. Welcome to Griffonstone." She reached into her leather jacket and and held out a fan of paper slips, grinning. "Employee-discount CrystalCon tickets. Did I come through, or what?"

"Thanks, Gilda! You sure did!" Dash's face lit up. "Ooh! What if I double-ponied-up to super crystal guardian mode?"

Sunset frowned, hands on her hips. "Still not a costume, and... seriously? You're going to call it that?"

"Double pony-up?" Gilda started to ask.

But Pinkie was already bouncing in place again. "Ooh, Twilight, you should triple-pony-up and evolve into your ultimate awesome super raven goddess form, now that you know it's not evil and all that Midnight Sparkle stuff was just in your head!"

Twilight groaned. "Pinkie! I'm not a PonyMon!"

Rarity made her way over to their confused friend. "You must excuse us, Gilda. We had quite the adventure at summer camp. I'm not even sure where to begin explaining. What about you, darling? I thought that surely you'd bring Gerold with you."

Gilda scratched the back of her neck. "Well... he's got griffon stuff to do, I've got human stuff to do... We're gonna meet up again in a month and, well, see what happens! You know how it is."

"Ah don't think any of us rightly do know," said Applejack sympathetically. "Except Flash maybe, and he still hasn't come back from over there. Ya know you can always talk to us if ya need to, right? Yer mixed up in this Equestria business too now, same as us."

Gilda hesitated, twitching her wings. "You guys... Heh." She smiled. "You're alright."

Rainbow Dash clapped Gilda on the shoulder, then dug in her pocket for change. "Who wants a soda from the machine down the hall?" She flung their door open, and nearly barged right into a bipedal wolf wearing a vest and a choker with a big plastic gemstone. "Ahhh! Stay back! I'm warning you..."

The "wolf" backpedaled in a hurry, raising big fluffy paws. "Calm down! Is only..." She turned around quickly, so they wouldn't see her taking her mask off, then faced them again, just a ordinary girl in a fursuit with pale skin and soft gray hair. "A costume, see?" She tilted her head to one side. "Huh. You were really scared?!" The strange girl beamed at them. "Alisa will take that as a compliment."

Rainbow stared. "Wow, you made a whole fancy costume like this, when it's still just a rumor that there's gonna be playable Diamond Dogs?"

Gilda suddenly developed a remarkably catty expression. She covered her mouth, but her snickers still made Rainbow's pony ears twitch. "You... Wait a minute. You're a tester for CrystalSoft!"

"Ya only just now remember that?" drawled AJ.

Rainbow grabbed Gilda, wings fully spread. "Oh my gosh! How long have you known what the new World of Horsecraft expansion races are and NOT TOLD US?!"

"Dashie, Dashie," said Gilda smugly. "You know I'd be so fired if I leaked stuff. Just wait a couple hours, and they'll announce everything."

Alisa poked Rainbow's right wing, eyes wide. "How are you moving those? Alisa doesn't see any strings."

Rainbow gulped, freezing in place.

"No, don't tell Alisa. She'll have lots of fun figuring it out!" She waved bye, wolf mask already back in place, and went prowling off down the hall.

Sunset Shimmer shrugged. "Well, I suppose it's too late to ditch our 'costumes' now."

Session 39.2 BrutalityInc

Continued from Session 38.10

King Metamorphosis worried about what his father is planning, this time.

In the Changelings' world, each hive have their own laws, but there are no laws governing the entirety of the Summer Court; only conventions and precedents set by their father or his Firstborns. While he had never explicitly forbid contact with other races, save for the Others, it was expected that no one break the masquerade.

Knowledge was power, and it was to be guarded well. Even the slightest knowledge – knowledge that could expose weaknesses, flaws that could exploited – could be all that makes or breaks the greatest beings, and cast him or her down to nothing from the epitomes of power. If you are an unknown to your enemies, real or potential, no one can possibly hope to stop you.

And none are more an adherent to that philosophy than the Changeling Emperor Blackthorn, father of the Changeling Kings and progenitor of the other great branch of Changeling-kind, as Changeling Empress Blackrose is to her Changeling Queens and their changeling subjects in the Spring Court. A schemer with many inscrutable plans and designs that could span centuries, millennia, he is not for one to leave anything to chance, or stand for anyone, or anything, that could throw a spanner into his works.

Even Metamorphosis understood the logic behind his father, and his kind's, obsession with secrecy and the masquerade, and went along with upholding it. So imagine Metamorphosis' surprise when his father suddenly wanted him to make contact with the Equestrians.

It had been so unthinkable. After all these ages, why now?

Metamorphosis remembered when he told him...

===

In a Las Pegasus hotel's restaurant, a father and son were having a conversation in a private booth, far from any prying ears.

"So, Metamorphosis, I recall that you have desires for our people to connect with other races." Blackthorn said casually, drifting from the topic of their previous discussion. This time, he was wearing the form of an earth-pony, wearing a more modern blue ballroom suit.

The impeccably dressed maroon unicorn in front of him almost dropped his wine glass and gaped in shock. Experience gained from centuries of mixing among the high societies of the classist Equestrian gentry and the cut-throat Summer Court was the only thing that allowed him to rein in those unconscious impulses.

"We... understand that you desire us to maintain minimum contact in order to ensure other races do not jeopardize our interests." Metamorphosis replied cautiously, evenly, maintaining his composure.

What he said was true, but in such a way that he hoped would be acceptable to his father, while maintaining plausible deniability of saying anything that could undermine his position. Words matter in the Courts of the Changelings regardless of the Seasons, after all.

While it is true that he had always wanted to connect – or in case of Changeling Kings like him, re-connect – with the rest of the world and interact in a less belligerent manner, he had wisely kept such thoughts to himself. It was taboo; saying such things in the Summer Court wasn't just a sign of weakness, but outright treason, at least in the eyes of the other Changeling Kings.

Many of those short-sighted, scheming, conniving and ambitious bastards hated him enough as it is; he didn't want to give them a legitimate excuse go to war against his hive and try to kill him. Father knows how many Changeling Kings he had out-witted and offed in the last two centuries. Even in the presence of his father, he refused to lower his guard.

And yet, his father seemed to see through it perfectly.

"Now, now, Metamorphosis... You're not in the presence of your brothers. You're in the presence of me." His father told him, almost reassuringly, "Do you truly think you'll be reprimanded for something that I know for a very long time? It wasn't truly a question, but feel free to answer it."

"... Yes, father, I had such... opinions." Metamorphosis said finally, having judged, correctly, that it wasn't a test of his loyalty and character. Quietly, he was both relieved, and wondering if he is truly this transparent.

"You seemed surprised..." The flawlessly disguised progenitor smirked, taking a sip of vintage wine from his crystal glass goblet before continuing, "But there are few things in the Summer Court that escape my notice. Of all your brothers, you are the only one who did everything possible to maintain your connections with your mortal past. Not even the rest of your associates in the Tetrarchy bothered with such things, having long ago casted them aside. How else could you alone, of all your brothers, had ruled over your hive and subjects with compassion?"

The disguised Changeling King looked down, his expression neutral. Even so, Blackthorn could sense the melancholy in his changeling heart, "It's... what my mother would had wanted."

His father nodded, "And I tolerated it because when the situation requires it, you never let it stop you from doing what is necessary. And because of this, I can entrust you to run my errands more than any one of your brothers, to never twist it to advance your interests ahead of mine or the Court as a whole. This Includes the task that I am about to have you perform."

Metamorphosis was no fool. From the way the conversation was going, there was only one thing, one task, that he could had meant.

"You wish me to make official contact with the other races, and break the masquerade?" Metamorphosis asked.

"With the Equestrians, specifically." His father clarified, "They are the most open-minded and welcoming of the mortal races, as are their immortal rulers. Why else do you think the Others of the Spring Court, apart from the conniving one, would approach them first when they undid their masquerade?"

Metamorphosis nodded. It was the perfect choice; it was the only choice.

"And the other Kings...?" Metamorphosis dared to ask.

"They will not interfere." Blackthorn assured, "I will not allow it."

"Then it shall be done."

And yet... a question nagged him.

"If it is my place to ask, father." He began carefully. At the lack of any rebuke, he continued, "May I inquire as to why we are taking such... an unprecedented chance?"

There was an audible crack, and Metamorphosis saw fracture lines had suddenly appeared on his father's crystal glass, near the rim. His father had stopped smiling, too. For a brief moment, the ancient being's seemingly immovable composure seem to slip, ever so slightly.

What Metamorphosis sensed behind it terrified him to the core.

"Let's just say." Blackthorn said in a low, even voice, before taking another sip of wine, "Our hooves had been forced."

===

Metamorphosis shuddered what powerful beings – and what those beings did – could had made his father change a course he had maintained for literally ages. One thing he's certain is that he doesn't want to know what his father's full response would be.

Another thing he was certain of is that, one way or another, he can turn this to his advantage. He would find new openings and opportunities this development can offer for new plans.

Like the games he's playing with Princess Twilight and her friends.

On the surface, it appeared to be just ordinary reverie between newly-made friends, with rounds of Xiangqi and Go (Both normal and Changeling variant, for the latter) between them. And for most part, it really is for both King Metamorphosis and Princess Twilight. They had discovered common interests, shared stories, and talked occasionally about their personal matters (At least, for Metamorphosis, as little as he is willing to indulge without giving too much away).

But as with all things, looks can be deceiving.

Through these games, and their conversations, he had learned much about the three mares before him, and not just their personal histories or achievements; no Royal Changeling worth their skills would not have already acquire such mundane information. Not that they're that well-guarded to begin with, what with their publicity as national heroines.

No... The information he gathered in person were more valuable. Through these games and conversation, he can learn in person their capabilities, potential or otherwise; the breadth of their knowledge, the limits of their skills, their preferences and interests, their lines of thinking, their personality quirks, their mental and emotional stabilities, their cognitive biases...

Now, at least he recognizes that this was more than a simple diplomacy for his father and the rest of the Court; this is an intelligence-gathering operation. In a single afternoon he had learnt more about their strengths and weaknesses than he and other Changeling Kings had in the last few years, backed by entire hives' worth of resources and infiltrators.

If they ever had to work together, this information could easily be used to help optimize their joint operative capabilities to their maximum potential. And if they had to work against each other – something that King Metamorphosis sincerely don't want to happen, but not foolish enough to discount – this information could be used to undermine and defeat them, with sufficiently ruthless and thorough planning.

Knowledge is truly powerful, indeed.

Perhaps, they too are secretly scrutinizing him as he is with them (One doesn't survive long in the Summer Court without a healthy dose of paranoia), but they likely didn't go as far and deep in analysing him as he is trying to do. He has already painting a clear picture of the three mares before him:

Princess Twilight was obviously intelligent, and extremely knowledgeable; when driven by her curiosity, she could rapidly assimilate new knowledge and apply it with what she knows. She maintains a healthy relationship with her friends, serving as an effective leader with her intelligence and wisdom, allowing her band to be a rather effective team that could overcome many obstacles.

But from his conversations and gameplay with her, it's evident her mindset is rather rigid, and her wisdom leaves something to be desired. She is compelled to order and preference for familiarity, likely a result of a sheltered learning environment and obsessive-compulsive personality. Much of the knowledge she learnt is theoretical, and when it comes to application, she is overly cautious, preferring slow, steady construction of a solid ground-work before moving on the greater works. She is also very dependent on her friends when it comes to solutions to more practical matters.

In essence, she can easily master what she learnt far better than any normal ponies, but initial exposure for anything apart from magic, of which she's indisputably the best, would be initially confounded by her obsessive need to account for every detail before application, or her inability to cope with the information if it severely conflicts with her ingrained worldview. Put her in a situation where she can't call upon her friends, or confronted with an outside context problem...

Starlight Glimmer's villainous past had significantly coloured her personality, and stifled her maximum potential. She lacked creativity; her strategies when playing Xiangqi or Go are too stiff, by the book, and inflexible, preferring to grand plans that leaves no room for error or unpredictable changes, something which could easily happen, both in game and in real life. Put her in a situation with changing circumstances, like he had done during Xiangqi, she might not be able to cope very well.

It speaks of some-pony who is unused to solving problems on under constrained circumstances, or never needed to. Make sense, given her magical prowess: she is indeed powerful, certainly not to Princess Twilight's level, but is exemplary for most ponies. Preliminary intelligence reports show she possessed versatile ability to wield various spells, from mind control, transfiguration, teleportation, to even – if he heard correctly – time travel. Although due to her creative sterility, much of it requires building on what is already known; she couldn't be expected to invent or create new magic like Starswirl and Princess Twilight had. But the main point remains: she's used to simply magic her way through her problems instead of taking time and effort to SOLVE it properly.

Add to that her difficulty in making friends, what with her slow progress with ‘friendship lessons' noted in her conversation, and he realized she's likely to be a poor leader or team-player as well (Not surprising, given her previous forte as a domineering cult leader and principle zealot). Put her in a situation where she couldn't use magic, or constantly changing circumstances, compounding her inability to communicate or efficiently coordinate with any potential ally...

Make no mistake, however; she has much potential. Her guilt and fear of relapsing to villainy must be what's holding her back. If she can get past it, she has the ability to become much more effective.

And then there's Trixie Lulamoon.

King Metamorphosis more or less painted her as the most skilled player out of the three ponies, and possibly the most dangerous mare in the room were it not for Twilight's knowledge or Starlight's potential. Having already possess prior experience of the games is one thing, but what was more important was one simple fact...

"So, I take it that your father, the Changeling Emperor, was the Prince from Hearts and Hooves Day, yes?"

She thinks outside the box.

That question almost made him stumble – although he didn't show it outwardly. A cautious eye would had noted how he seemed to suddenly pause for a second, whilst moving a Xiangqi piece, before continuing. No doubt, she would had noticed.

She smirked; yes, definitely noticed, and the possibilities over why she might had asked said question, besides the sensitivity/boldness of such a topic, has further derailed his train of thought, and affected his ability to see through her stratagems and plot an appropriate response. Most likely her plan all along; and that's what made her so dangerous.

As her irreverence to both him and her friend Princess Twilight shown, she has no respect for authority or rules that exists; and if anything, she seems to delight in trying to bend the rules or take those on high down a peg.

In effect, this means she also has no respect for any established ways of thinking.

She was unorthodox; almost like the uprooted, drifting life that she lived which would had spawned it. Her experience as a stage magician makes her far better at reading people than both Princess Twilight and Starlight, allowing her to easily assess what work and what doesn't and plan accordingly. The constant requirement for unpredictability and improvisation in her business make her highly adaptable to the changing circumstances. In the game, she doesn't constrain herself to merely attacks on the board; all avenues of attack were acceptable for her; banter as distractions, cheap shots as feints; whatever achieve results are valid, and this unscrupulous trickster would use every trick in the book, dirty or otherwise, to succeed.

That might explain why, where Starlight lost her match with him, and where he and Princess Twilight played to a draw, she was the one who was winning the match against him at 2 to 1. And the only reason she lost one to begin with is because she was caught cheating and gracefully conceded as recompense – a cheat that he didn't even noticed initially.

She was neither as powerful or as knowledgeable as Starlight or Princess Twilight, but she was adaptable, flexible, original, and capable of achieving greater outcomes with significantly less resources. Her only flaws were her own pride, which could blind her to her own genuine mistakes – but that was something which all three mares possess at varying levels – and her impulsiveness, which sometimes inhibit her ability to plan on long term.

Too bad she is content with just being a stage magician; he can just imagine what she could accomplish if she applied such skills for a greater purpose. She should had been born a changeling, or perhaps the leader of her own group of Elements of Harmony. Maybe she is, in another life...

"To answer your question, lady Lulamoon; yes, that is correct. Although until recently, few had known that the story itself is even real." King Metamorphosis replied. Meanwhile, he moved his Cannon piece horizontally from file 8 to file 5, countering Trixie moving her own Cannon piece from file 2 to file 5 "Although with the Others are revealing themselves, I suppose it's inevitable that it wouldn't be long for some-pony with your intuition to discern this fact."

"It wasn't that difficult for Trixie to figure out." Trixie muttered dismissively, even as she advanced her Horse piece by one move from file 2 to file 3, which he countered by advancing one of his own Horse, moving from file 8 to file 7. "Though to be honest, all Trixie did was asking Starlight about the rumors concerning this Empress Blackrose, who is apparently the Mother of all Changeling Queens, and is also apparently the Hearts and Hooves Day Princess. With that in mind, the moment Princess Twilight told us about you being a Changeling King, it doesn't take long to realize who else your father could be. Trixie didn't really believe it until now; it just seems so... extraordinary."

The mere mention of the Changeling Empress of the Spring Court is enough to send a chill down his carapace. He reminded himself to inform them later of the... antagonism between the two great branches/Courts of Changelings, existing on an instinctive level. He didn't let it distract him from his turn, moving a Chariot to file 8 from file 9 to counter Trixie's own Chariot advance.

"A lot of things about the Changelings are extraordinary, and enigmatic." Princess Twilight noted, interrupting their thoughts, "I'm happy we are finally getting to know more about them than ever before, and extend a hoof in friendship."

"That being said, I do have a few more questions concerning that. Namely, if he's your father, does that make Empress Blackrose your mother?" Starlight asked from the side-lines, watching the Xiangqi match with a bag of popcorn.

Now he definitely stumbled, eyes showing genuine shock and dropping the other Chariot piece he was holding. Trixie looked surprised; evidently, she hasn't expected such a response from her opponent.

"No... My apologies, I should had clarified this earlier." To his credit, Metamophosis rallied quickly, moving a Horse forward from file 8 to 7 on the board, "You would recall that the Changeling Queen of Neighpon, Supia, is the result of a relationship between the Changeling Empress with Shogun Uma Akuno. All Changeling Queens of the Spring Court are descended from these relationships with mortals of other races by the Changeling Empress over the ages; and similarly, so it is that the way Changeling Kings of the Summer Court, me included, are descended from our father the Changeling Emperor."

"Is that so?" Starlight asked, "You don't suppose...?"

"If there are any... meetings, between them that could had resulted in children, my father had not deigned to let the rest of the Summer Court know." He shuddered internally at the prospects of what kind of Royal Changeling(s) that could be produced from THAT sort of union – would their power transcend even their parents? "It is believed that after the events that resulted in their transformation into progenitors of the Changelings, they have yet to truly reconcile... It's a sensitive topic in the hives."

"Sorry..." Starlight muttered, then nodded, "And I suppose that makes sense..."

Trixie blew a whistle, whilst moving her own Horse piece "Your mother must be quite remarkable, to catch the attention of a god. How long has it been? Is she even a pony?"

More sensitive questions, all of them distractions to throw him off his game. Yes, they're definitely prying him now, and normally he would ignore them, but for the sake of building trust, however, he would deign to share some of his past history; it's not that they or anyone could take advantage of it even if they want to.

"Yes, she was remarkable." King Metamorphosis recalled. As he did, his expression became sombre, "I was born two hundred years ago." That makes him one of the youngest Kings in the Summer Court was left out, "In a village long since abandoned and left to ruin." Which could mean any abandoned settlement between the Crystal Mountains and the Badlands, "I was raised as a pony, but when I reached maturity, my True Nature manifested itself. Then I found my way to my True Parent, like all Changeling Kings before me, during which I met more of my own kind." It was quite a harrowing story in itself, but that would be left to another time, if ever. "And once I proved my worth, I fully became a King, and founded my own hive. But even so, I never forgotten my mortal mother's love and kindness, and I cherished her memory to this day."

Starlight and Trixie looked at each other with uncertain looks. For her part, Princess Twilight was glaring at them for their tactlessness towards their guest.

"Trixie apologizes; she must had raised some painful memories." Trixie replied, whilst advancing her horse from her 8th file to 7th file.

"It's alright. I understand that you're merely curious."

"Trixie doesn't mean to offend..." Trixie muttered. Then, she grinned, "That said, it has served a very good distraction!"

She moved her Chariot piece across the board, seven points forward – straight into the palace on Metamorphosis' side – almost right next to his Marshal!

Son of the Curser!

Now the full extent of Trixie's play is revealed; while she bantered and talked, she moved her pieces in such a way during the opening that when he moved to counter her, it had opened a hole in his formation of pieces, allowing for a Chariot that he was too distracted to notice to go deep into his lines.

Deceptive play on the board and deception in real life. Done together, he didn't see it coming. Yes, it's indisputable – she's the most dangerous player in the room, as of this moment.

"Pardon if I may sound a bit harsh, your majesty, but for a hive king of a race who excels in deception and secrecy, you seemed to be easily distracted and caught unawares by hidden moves..."

"Trixie!" Princess Twilight admonished.

"What? He should had been able to see it coming..." Trixie defended.

Metamorphosis frowned. He would not let her banter get to him, but she is correct; and now he was in a disadvantaged position, and he saw three possible moves that Trixie could make next to exploit the offensive – moving her Soldier in the 3rd file one point forward, or her Cannon in the 8th file by two points, or her other Chariot in file 6 by five points.

Experience tells him that while her penetration of his ranks was clever, it was also a premature move – her penetrating Chariot is isolated, and apt to face retaliation. Trixie was making a gamble for a quick, decisive victory. And she very well could win – but only if he himself make the wrong counterattack.

He looked ahead and considered the three options: if he moved his Mook in the 3rd file forward, followed by either moving his Chariot on file 6 to file 7, or move his Horse back horizontally from file 7 to file 5. But then Trixie could then put him in a passive position by advancing her Chariot forward, followed by driving her Cannon to the river bank to contain his Chariot and Horse. He would probably have to sacrifice an advancing Mook to compensate, and move one of his Advisors forward to cover his Marshal, but then Trixie could simply counter it by making a few moves with a Soldier, her other Cannon and Chariot to take out several of his exposed pieces, giving her a material advantage, followed by moves that would put her in an advantageous position and eliminate her few remaining weak points, allowing her to advance briskly with impunity.

If he move his Cannon from the 5th file to the 6th, a passive defence, he would weaken his own formation even further, giving Trixie an incentive to push forward, possibly starting with that Soldier on the 5th file, forcing him to strengthen his defence by moving his Advisor on the 6th file forward, or his Cannon on the same file by five points to meet Trixie's advancing Soldier. For either scenario, Trixie could just counter his Advisor with her Chariot, moving it to the 7th file, or her Chariot on the 8th file to the 5th against his Cannon. A series of moves involving advancing her Horse and Chariot, and moving her Cannon horizontally, would exasperate the crisis in his formation, leaving him utterly defenceless and giving Trixie total initiative.

This leaves him with the last option...

He moved his Cannon on file 2 forward by two points, a flexible manoeuvre, with both offensive and defensive options.

Trixie countered it by moving her Soldier on file 7 forward, which he then countered by moving his Cannon to file 8. To maintain the initiative, Trixie played tough, making a few moves which culminate in driving her Horse forward from file 7 to 8 to block the Chariot. A pity; if she had played file 7 to 6 with her Horse, he saw that he would be in a good position to re-ploy his forces in the next few turns to tighten his formation and make a counter-attack earlier.

Later, Metamorphosis pushed one of his Chariots in file 8 forward, which had his desired effect; Trixie moved her Elephant on file 7 to file 9, right to the edge for her defence. Just as planned; now her formation is weakened. He moved his 8th file Chariot forward by another point, beginning his counter-attack: Trixie's countermove with her Soldier on file 3 is countered with him moving his Cannon five points forward. Her attempts to counter it with her own Cannon on file 8 to file 3 is countered by his Chariot from file 8 to 7, then a move by Trixie of her Cannon in file 3 to 4 is countered in turn by him advancing his Chariot forward by three points.

And thus, Trixie found her deceptive play foiled, not only with no advantage gained, but also finding her own position hanging precariously, with her metaphorical backyard ‘on fire' with Metamorphosis' invading pieces.

"As you can see, lady Lulamoon, one should never underestimate a Changeling." King Metamorphosis replied with a small grin.

Trixie looked from the board to him... then grinned back, excited about the challenge she found herself facing.

Yes, for good or ill, they will learn much from each other today.

Session 39.3 Alex Warlorn

Pinkie Pie (thanks to the Cloud Walking Spell) and Rainbow Dash sat in Rainbow's cloud house reading through some back issues of Power Ponies that Rainbow Dash had found, and apparently Spike didn't want them.

The art was full of black shadows and too much shading. The Power Ponies were over muscled, the normal ponies were inherently unattractive, and the bad guys were just plain ugly. The story arc was much the same.

The alien police force Radiance got her power bracelet from turned out to be corrupt to the core, with Radiance having to spent more time with defending herself from assassination attempts from not wanting to 'play ball' with alien conquerers not understanding why she wasn't 'on the take. One alien having had their ears cut off by members of Radiance's own group for their father not giving them stuff for free, with none punished.

Saddle Rager had apparently kill several innocent civilians in her last rampage, which happen every time somepony stepped on a flower.

Fillisecond was certifiably insane and dangerous psychotic and barely kept in check by her teammates.

Mistress Mare-velous beat the tar out of bad guys and clearly got a thrill out of it, and Alfalfis were all worse flank holes, and she'd apparently been the result of a love affair. And they kidnapped foals to increase their numbers.

Zapp tried to conquer the world for some reason after listening to one of her enemies, and apparently wasn't brainwashed.

Masked Matterhorn ... that was better left unsaid. Her being a complete and utter bigot to anything that didn't have hooves was the LEAST nasty thing.

Oh, and they killed off Hum Drum.

"Remember when these comics books were places that ponies wanted to escape TO? Not FROM?" Pinkie Pie asked.

Rainbow Dash shuddered and nodded. Happy they HADN'T paid for the Enchanted Comics addition for these!

Session 39.4 Alex Warlorn

AJ looked at the new dog whistle she'd won in that fairgrounds game. Winona was acting a little unruly lately, so she figure the dog whistle would be a good idea.

'This dog whistle is guaranteed get your pet canine to listen to you as instructed or your money back.'

"Okay ya mutt, listen up." Applejack blew the whistle, heard nothing of course, and Winona kept chasing her tail. "Dangit! I shouldda know it would be that simple, huh, what's on the back? 'Warning: Will not work on stupid canines.' HEY! What horseapples is that? Winona ain't dumb! I bet this thing doesn't even whistle!"

'Master upset. No clue why. Come here tail! Me catch you! Me hope big red dog return feelings of wuv soon!'

Inside Rarity's house however, Alisa the diamond wolf ... hear the faint whistle... her eyes became pin pricks, and she stood at attention.

"I am listening oh Great Apple."

"Winona, roll over... play ball?" Applejack sighed at the lack of reaction from her pet, she knew she trained her better than this! "Fetch the stick!"

"As you command oh Great Apple." Waving her arms in a scissor like motions, Alisa ran towards a wall, bumped her nose since she wasn't an Earth Pony and thus not strong enough to break through it, and just went through the window.

Applejack sighed. "Oh well, Ah guess there's no substitute to trainin' yer pet. An Apple knows there's no short cuts."

Still with pink prick eyes, Alisa approached Applejack and got to her knees and held up a familiar tuning fork shaped piece of work. "I fetched the stick oh Great Apple."

"Huh?! Alisa?! What the heck? Is this another of your games?"

"What games would you like me to play oh Great Apple?"

"STARLIGHT!" Applejack snapped.

"HEY! Give that back! It lots of happy, I mean bad memories connected to it!" Starlight shouted having teleported to the diamond wolf.

"Starlight! You used that mind control magic AGAIN!?!?!?"

"I SWEAR ON EQUALITY, I MEAN CELESTIA, NO!"

"ALISA! The room was mess! What is going... on?" Rarity came running, with Sweetie Belle right behind.

"Starlight brain-zapped Alisa."

"NO I DIDN'T! Why are you assuming me?! When Discord and Twilight have done it a lot more than me!"

"It is true. Equal Pony did not submit this humble servant, it was the Great Apple." Alisa said.

"HUH!? What did Ah.... yer kiddin'!" AJ looked at the dog's whistle.

"Applejack what is what?!"

"Ah got this here whistle for Winona! But it says it don't work on stupid dogs! That's stupid! Winona's not stupid!"

'HA! Me caught you tail! OW!'

"Wait... so a dog whistle put Alisa in a trace?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"So it seems..." Rarity said waving a hoof in front of Alisa. "What a golden opportunity! I could order her to have a safe word to end her costume games any time I said it, that way I can sure I'm not sharing my feelings with the wrong creature." Rarity then breathed in deep. "BUT! I could never do that! Not when she's vulnerable like this, and not when she showed so much trust in me before, I never could!"

"Okay, I will." Sweetie Belle said. "Applejack, please give Alisa a safe word Rarity can use."

"Applejack, please do not do as I sister just-"

"Alisa! Listen up! Whenever Rarity say 'Rutabaga Flowers Are Better Than Apples', you stop with the costume game, and take off whatever costume yer wearin', got it?"

"I shall do as you command oh Great Apple."

"APPLEJACK!"

"Sorry Rarity, but she imitated one my family when they came for a visit, she crossed a line when we sharing personal stuff." Applejack then blew the whistle.

Alisa's pupils returned to normal. "Apple Pony Not Do That Again!"

"Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."

Sweetie then snatched the whistle out from around Applejack's neck.

"You're not either!" Rarity said.

"But I haven't one time yet, so I can't do it again."

"Maybe you should sit in with Starlight on Twilight's lessons on, 'why brainwashing ponies is bad.' "

"Ain't that like a fox teaching a chicken-hawk?"

"For Twilight darling it is simply a thing, for Starlight... it is a problem. And Alisa I... where did she?" Rarity sighed. "'Rutabaga Flowers Are Better Than Apples'."

Nearby, Cherry Fizz stopped in his tracks and undid the costume, and Alisa stepped out.

"Alisa! Impersonating a guard?! You want to get arrested?"

"... Sorry."

"Uh! Who wants to play Grabby Grabby Griffins?! I hid a copy in my room!" Sweetie said.

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different charactears and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?

What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.

IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 39.0 Ardashir (Minor SPOILERS for season finale. I haven't seen it myself. Nor have I watched any of the previews. But I HAVE been spoiled due to images. And I don't want to be spoiled more. So no commentary please. So read at your own risk.)
Session 39.1 Mtangalion
Session 39.2 BrutalityInc
Session 39.3 Alex Warlorn
Session 39.4 Alex Warlorn

Cover image by http://dsana.deviantart.com/art/Grasp-of-the-Purple-Claw-637350818 http://dsana.deviantart.com

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Session 84

Session 84.0 Mtangalion

“Stop that!” shouted Ember, flying in evasive loops. “As Dragon Lord, I order you…”

“Rend, kill, destroy!” boomed the giant robot dragon in a grating mechanical monotone. It fired another laser blast, which Ember barely dodged. “Destroy, destroy!” The robot deliberately trampled two carts and kicked a fence over.

Starlight Glimmer sighed. “Are you sure the other Twilight built this thing? What, did she get tired of harmony and rainbows and decide to blast away whatever magical threat showed up next? Not that I’m criticizing. I can totally respect that!”

Spike the currently-a-dragon Dog grinned. “Twilight built it to protect me from dog-nappers!” He gave Pavel a conspiratorial wink. “Talking dogs aren’t normal on Earth.”

“Pavel’s wolf, not dog!” grumbled the offended pup.

“I can totally handle this!” boasted Shining Armor the currently-a-pony Human. “I fight dragons all the time! … I just need my epic armor and weapons. And nineteen other people who also have epic armor and weapons.”

Prince Shining Armor glared at him. “This is no time for kidding around, soldier. You're familiar with your sister's inventions, aren't you? Think how we can stop this while doing the least damage.”

“To it, or to Ponyville?” asked Spike the Dragon, swooping in and breathing flames in an attempt to melt the robot’s foot. Suddenly, the robot roared and backed up, heading right towards Spike. “Gah!”

There was a whoosh and a flash of red, and Garble was there, half-buried in the ground as he struggled to hold up the giant metal paw. “Hey, flankhead! Nodragon stomps on my… uh… dragon pal… that I hang out with sometimes!”

Spike smirked. “You can say ‘friend’ if you want.”

“Shut up!” The robot lifted its foot and stomped on Garble harder. “Urk!” Stomp! “I’m okay! Dragons are…” Thud, wham! “... basically indestructible!”

“Then why did you save me?”

“I said…” Garble grabbed hold of the paw, then flew and heaved with all his strength, making the giant robot topple over. “Shut up!" He slumped to the ground, panting. "Hah! No lame-o machine is gonna beat a real dragon!”

The robot promptly tail-slapped him into somepony’s house, half-demolishing the house.

Session 84.1 Alex Warlorn

Rainbow Dash flew around in her one-seater space ship zipping along. "Whoo-hoo! No Mare's Sky finally has multiplayer! And you can own more than one giant space ship!"

-

"Attention fleet, target that little blue space ship!" Trixie commanded on the bridge of her flag ship.

"We hear and obey!" Responded her fleet.

Session 84.2 Mtangalion

Trixie's Diamond Dog bridge crew gathered behind her, grinning hugely. "Do the laugh, your majesty!" said Spot.

Trixie sniffed, nose in the air. "Trixie does not wish to do the laugh."

"Please? Please please?" The Dogs grew sad puppy eyes, whimpering and whining.

"Oh, very well." Trixie posed with one hoof raised, threw back her head and laughed, "Ohhhh HO HO HO HO!"

Rainbow Dash shuddered and kicked in her afterburners. "Even in space, I can hear that laugh!"

Princess Twilight groaned, planting her face on the computer desk. "I spent hours doing everything except the thing I was actually trying to do! When I catch up to whoever took my base..." She yawned. "Spike, is there any more coffee? Spike!"

Spike jumped, quickly minimizing the screen showing his interstellar trading empire worth billions of units. "I'll be right there, Twi!"

Session 84.3 Kendell2

Continuing something from clear back in session 63 at whitebearboy's request.

Fluttershy did the natural thing when she saw a cute talking flower and read its statements. "Aww, so cute..."

"Howdy! I'm Flowey. Flowey the Flower!"

"Hello..." said Fluttershy, not seeing anything wrong. The Flower was nice enough to offer to show her the ropes. "That's nice...I guess this must be the tutorial..."

After explaining some mechanics, Flowey finally said he'd share LOVE with her. It being capitalized normally just meant it was really important, right? He formed a bunch of white things he called friendliness pellets. "Move around! Get as many as you can!"

"Okay..." Fluttershy replied, and did as asked...only to jump when her health bar was nearly wiped out. "Ah! What happened?!"

"You idiot..." said Flowey, his face going demonic. "In this world, it's kill or BE killed!"

Fluttershy panicked as her little red heart was surrounded with bullets. "Ah! What do I do?!" she exclaimed in panic as they closed in.

When to her surprise (and Flowey's too) a little fireball appeared and blasted Flowey off screen. "Did I do that?"

She then saw a kindly goat-like humanoid come on screen. "Oh...hello..."

Session 84.4 Mtangalion

By this time, Diamond Tiara had also wandered over from the Friendship Gaming Academy to watch the battle with the giant robot dragon. She trotted up to Captain Armor, seeming unimpressed. “Um, why don’t you just put the metal dragon in a giant shield bubble? You put all of Canterlot under a shield for days that one time. Shouldn’t you be able to defeat any villain easily with that?”

Captain Armor frowned, glancing at his twin from Earth. “Miss Tiara, wasn’t it? You don’t seem that surprised to see two of me here.”

Diamond shrugged. “That’s been happening a lot. Why didn’t you put King Sombra in a bubble?”

“Well, he sealed my horn with his dark magic!”

“Huh. That was super convenient for him that he could do that,” mused Diamond. “What about the time the whole Crystal Empire nearly froze? Why didn’t you bubble the city until they fixed the Crystal Heart?”

“It wasn’t that simple!” protested Captain Armor. “The chaotic and uncontrollable winds of the far north would have worn down any shield barrier in a matter of minutes. Only a powerful artifact like the Crystal Heart...”

Diamond smirked. “So you live in a place where the natural magic nullifies your greatest strength? That doesn’t sound very smart.”

The Shining from Earth grinned, nudging the Captain. “This is like when Eight Bit brought his little brother to our O&O game. Nothing kills all the drama faster than a little kid asking simple questions, am I right?”

Captain Armor sighed. “Fine. What kind of magical defenses does this ‘robot’ have?”

Shining blinked. “Um, none that I’m aware of. Unless it magically got some when it came through the portal…” He jumped when a shadow fell over him… the robot dragon, floating in a magenta shield bubble. It flailed and shot lasers and breathed fire, but everything just bounced off the shield. “Wow, okay, I guess it really doesn’t have any.”

The young dragons, still hovering around the shielded dragon, looked annoyed. “Well, that’s no fun!” grumbled Smolder.

Shining gulped. “Um, sorry? Yeah, just remove the main logic board from that compartment in its head. It might be kinda dangerous getting to it, though, while the robot’s still…”

“Here,” said Captain Armor, levitating a circuit board that he’d easily retrieved with his magic. He blinked. “Wow, did I really solve a problem in Ponyville without any help from Twily and the girls? This feels weird.”

“Lampshades!” called out Discord, zipping past on a unicycle, wearing a plaid coat and pulling a cart loaded with lamps shaped like abstract art of himself. “Everypony, get your lampshades right here! Only two and three quarter bits each!”

Session 84.5 Alex Warlorn

"And that is why continuing to call yourselves Diamond Wolves only serves to continue to strengthen the divide between your people," Starlight Glimmer explained.

--

"Just follow me through the portal now..." The quadruped wingless Spike said leading the 'running on back up processing' giant robot dragoness through the portal as Prince Shining Armor slowly altered the state of the force field around it, letting it through.

"Well, that's one less nightmare for me to worry about," said the visiting normally human Shining Armor. "So you really get to go around naked all day?"

"I'm not naked, I'm wearing a shirt." Prince Shining Armor said, not understanding.

"HEY!" Said a second Ember pushing her head through the portal. "What stupid robot dog doing back?! Ember get rid of rival!"

Hearing herself talk like a diamond dog was too much for Ember and she back handed Garble before he'd barely managed to get out a giggle.

"Why blue lizard look kinda like Ember?" Said the Ember sticking her head through the portal.

Dragon Lord Ember didn't answer, she just put her foot on the head of the other Ember and pushed her back through!

"Ember Lord of Junkyard, you no treat Ember this way!" She said as her head fell back through the portal.

--

For reasons she did not understand, while at the furry role playing center... Rarity felt strangely attracted to the purple furred wolf man with green highlights offering her gem candy... This attraction made Rarity confused and uncomfortable ... Like something so right and so wrong burned within!

'It's likely one of the Diamond Diggers under there, or that cad Blueblood! I should ask! No I mustn't! It will destroy the fantasy! But what if something nicer awaits?! Do I ask or not?! But isn't it rude? But he makes Rarity feel nice! AHHHHH!!!!'

Rarity fled.

Meanwhile, in his purple wolf-man costume, Fancy Pants wondered who that beautiful-voiced white fox woman was... maybe she was a real kitsune in disguise or something? That just made her more alluring. He hoped Fluer didn't find out, Crystal Prep had twisted the most beautiful girl Fancy had ever met into one of Cinch's 'every person for themselves' students.

--

"So... " The teenage human Rainbow Dash asked, holding free copies of the expansion they'd all gotten thanks to Sunset Shimmer and Princess Twilight's work at Crystalsoft, "Are we gonna... ya know... ACTUALLY DO ANY OF THESE NEW ASCENSION RAIDS OR WHAT?! Or did we all go that convention just for the free popcorn?!" Rainbow Dash waved her arms dramatically.

Session 84.6 Kendell2

"So what is this game exactly?" asked Twilight, looking at a game Rainbow had gotten.

"Totally Accurate Battle Simulator," replied the Pegasus, setting up a fight between a farmer and a Barbarian (which was basically just a cave pony) and started...

Prompting the silly scene of a solid red maneless, featureless pony with a pitchfork and a cowboy hat and googly eyes charging a solid blue maneless pony with a club and googly eyes charging each other as if their weapons were pulling them rather than the other way around.

"...This isn't accurate..." Twilight said flatly.

"That's the joke..." said Rainbow Dash as the two met and the farmer was promptly smashed in the head with a club and blue won.

"...That ain't how that'd go..." said Applejack.

"Eh, it's luck..." said Rainbow Dash, starting the match again...

And promptly watching in confusion as the two collided and were spun around by their weapons completely off the ground.

"...Okay, that's funny..." Applejack admitted, before the Farmer finally won by getting a poke with the pitchfork...somehow. "But the farmer being as dumb as the cave pony better not be some kind of joke..."

"Nah, everyone is stupid, that's part of the fun..." Rainbow Dash said, setting up a large scale battle between guards and and yaks, which ended with the yaks winning both rounds...and for some reason continuing on and throwing themselves off the edge of the map the second time. "...The buck..."

After a match of one Ninja Master vs an equally priced number of normal ninjas, the former winning a pretty epic shuriken throwing battle, Rainbow set up the same with Samurai...

With the master basically being spun around the horde with his sword with his legs barely touching the ground...and losing with one enemy left.

"Huh, that's weird..." said Rainbow before trying again...and the Samurai Master just jumping into a sword and dying in a few seconds. "...Like I said, luck of the draw..."

OOC: This game is a riot.

Session 84.7 Alex Warlorn

Fluttershy in her digital space suit took in the beautiful alien landscape. "Ahhhhhh, No Mare's Sky now has multiplayer. A chance to safely interact with others without any social fear!" She spotted another player and waved. "Hello fellow Traveler!"

The other player, whose screen name unknown to Fluttershy was 'G1LD@R' drew their ray gun and pointed it at Fluttershy. "Stick 'em up!"

Session 84.8 Mtangalion

Starlight was getting so into her lecture, she didn't notice Elena padding into her office... not until the pup nipped her ankle!

"Other ponies are nice, why so rude?" growled Elena, standing shoulder to shoulder with her brother Pavel.

Pavel's ears perked back up. "In Icehome, Dogs are no good. That's what we call big bullies who think they're more important than pack!" The pups nodded to each other.

Just down another hallway, another pint-sized canine was glaring at Applejack. "I'm a Diamond Dog, dumb pony! Don't call me a Wolf!"

AJ waved a hoof, trying to placate the newly arrived student. "Now settle down, Ah didn't mean to offend... But there is kind of a resemblence, don't you think? You've got big forepaws and walk on your hind paws more, and those wolves are fluffier, but are ya really so different?"

Ruff turned his nose up. "Hah, shows what you know! In Dog Mines, a 'Wolf' is a smarty-pants who thinks they're better than everydog! It's good thing they all ran away, tails between legs! That means more gems for... us?"

Ruff rounded a corner and found himself nose to nose with Pavel, just leaving the guidance counselor's office. The two pups stood there gawking at each other, and then began growling...

Session 84.9 Ardashir

"Shiny! Are you in here?" With a flare of magic, a second Cadence stumbled out of the portal. Both Shining Armors tilted their ears forward and whickered appreciatively as the pretty pink alicorn examined herself. "Hey? What! Is this some weird VR zone for the game I stumbled in to?" She looked up and caught sight of the original Cadence, staring in shock. "Hey! No stealing my in-game avatar! Is this some trick by Aunt Celestia?" She walked over, stumbling a bit on four legs. "Yeesh, she doesn't even look like me. Where's half her gear, anyway? This is a cheap copy!"

The normally peaceable and gentle look Princess Cadence bore vanished in a heartbeat, replaced by ears pinned fury.

"Cheap copy!" Cadence's horn blazed with spellfire. "Now listen here, you, you whatever you are!"

And in his home in the Chaos Realm Discord watched it all on 'the Chaos Channel', laughing uproariously.

"Oh, I just KNEW that making that Mirror Gate magically attractive would be entertaining!"

Session 84.10 Ardashir

Applejack turned away from the window looking on the defeated robot outside. "Okay, so that's over an' done with. Hopefully the rest o' the day will be a little more peaceable."

Her ears flattened as the sounds of a snarling battle came from around the corner, mingled with shrieks of fear and cheers.

"Me an' mah big mouth."

Once around the corner she saw Pavel the Diamond Wolf puppy and Ruff the Diamond Dog pup rolling over the carpet in a biting, snarling ball. Tufts of white and grey fur flew as they snarled untranslatable words AJ strongly suspected were not compliments.

Overhead four of the 'student six' hovered.

"I can't watch!" Ocellus had her claws over her eyes. "This is horrible!"

"Ooh," Silverstream said as one of the pups yelped in sudden sharp pain. "I think that hurt."

"This is great!"" Gallus cheered as the two pups briefly broke apart. They bristled and bared fangs at each other, hunched low as they circled. Then they flew back at each other with wild yelps. "Hah! Back in Griffonstone there'd be a dozen griffs betting on this by now."

"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" Smolder clapped her claws. "Now this is something dragons like! Watching two guys who hate each other rip one another to pieces!" She and Gallus high-clawed. "Forget those 'loot the dungeon' things, this is a game for REAL predators!"

The two pups broke apart again. One of Ruff's ears was torn, and Pavel limped back, one foreleg tucked under him. Before they could leap at each other again Applejack hurried between them.

"Okay, THAT'S IT!" She forced Pavel back against the wall, pinning him there. Ruff's eyes blazed and he tried to leap at Pavel, only to subside at a glare from Applejack. She frowned around at the other students. Gallus and Smolder tried to look abashed but only partly succeeded. "Ah'm thinking we need a few lessons on 'friends don't let friends fight'! Y'all can study them this weekend when you woulda had a break." The students suddenly looked very unhappy. Protests rose. Applejack silenced them with a look. They left.

"Filthy dirt dog not Pavel's friend!" The little wolf growled, pain thickening his voice.

"Ruff not like dumb wolf either!" Ruff growled back. He fingered his bloody ear and winced.

"Oh! Oh, my, what happened?" Fluttershy hurried up, Alisa on her tail. Pavel's sister Elena hurried behind, her short puppy legs taking two steps to the adults' one, yipping in excitement and worry. Alisa bristled at the sight of Ruff but subsided at a warning snort from Applejack. Nothing could stop Elena's high-pitched growl before she began licking her unwilling brother. Applejack quickly explained and the two took the wounded foes off to tend to them, Fluttershy steering Ruff along before her and Alisa holding the complaining Pavel by the scruff of his neck like a newborn pup. Elena gave Ruff one last glare and followed her brother.

Applejack relaxed as Starlight walked up. "Oh, no! I was trying to convince the school's Diamond Dogs and Diamond Wolves to not fight." She looked at the mess. "It doesn't seem like I did very well. I'm beginning to wonder if we're going to have to expel some of them."

"Maybe," Applejack said as she looked at a picture on the wall, showing the time Twilight turned them all into Breezies. She smiled as she began to get an idea. "An' maybe not."

Session 84.11 Alex Warlorn

"Anyone seen Princess Twilight?" Human Rainbow Dash asked. "These new raids aren't going to play themselves."

"I uh," Sunset Shimmer said looking awkward. "I might have tied her up."

"WHAT?! HAVE YOU GONE EVIL AGAIN?"

"NO! Nonono! It's just until she calms down! I told her how I was getting the money together for my new text book and she was going all 'you get your lessons for free but have to pay for your books and PE uniforms?! Celestia and Luna of this world must be secretly evil!' ... Like I said, just until she calms down."

"Well, there are a bajillion new raids here and I want to start raiding! There's even a rumor that says that super overpowered 'Majesty' summons that some players saw on the server attacking a player who looked just like her is possible if you collect an item that has a 0.1% drop chance of all of the new Ascension raid bosses except for the end game one."

"Is it that same forum that told you that fake rumor about 'Seventh Element of Harmony Armor' drop for Discord?"

"... Maybe?"

Session 84.12 Alex Warlorn

It was the winter equinox at the hot spring of dark magic. The same spring that had corrupted the mane six into evil versions of themselves (and then had corrupted Princess Luna into Nightmare Moon and nearly all of Ponyville eventually), preying on their most petty and selfish desires stripped of their more noble traits. Thankfully a cure had been found and the spring purified... hadn't it? Everything goes somewhere.

Six violent bubbling spots started in the spring, dark magic glowed within... six ponies emerged, coughing and gagging on the water and taking their first breaths.

-

"That old place near the edge of Everfree? It's called the Creepy Abode... ponies say it's haunted, and it's also half infested with wild vines and who knows what else, no pony goes near the place!" Pinkie Pie explained to her tour group.

-

"STARLIGHT! IT'S AWFUL! SOMEPONY STOLE THE ENTIRE CONTENTS OF YOUR BEDROOM!" Her father wailed.

'Well, all the evidence is gone then.' "Oh no, how horrible, that's too bad." Starlight Glimmer said simply.

-

'Pinkie Pie' finished decorating her claimed room ('Rainbow Dash' was happy to crash on the couch). "She had good taste at least."

http://mlp-gameloft.wikia.com/wiki/Creepy_Abode

"Hey! I found this great role playing game we could play, called FATAL or something!" 'Twilight Sparkle' said.

Session 84.13 Mtangalion

Princess Twilight massaged her forehead with a hoof, then took a deep breath and trotted into the school conference room, putting on her best impression of Celestia’s smile #12 (I’m going to keep smiling if it kills me).

The gathered canines turned to look at her. On the Diamond Wolves’ side, Prince Erik rose, large and imposing, standing over Elena, Pavel, still favoring one forepaw, and Alisa, who seemed deceptively calm. The Diamond Dogs were represented by Rover, Ruff, Chancellor Jim from Dimondia… and oddly Trixie, wearing her ‘Queen of the Diamond Dogs’ crown again. Applejack stood in between, keeping the two sides separated.

“Thank you all for coming to this meeting,” said Princess Twilight brightly, “instead of pulling your students out of the school immediately. Or threatening international war. Again.” She cleared her throat. “Even though this is a gaming academy, we can’t have real life combat going on outside of official class events.”

“Then ponies shouldn’t have invited Dogs to school!” growled Prince Erik. “Not ten minutes here, and they’re already starting fight!”

Rover growled louder, putting a paw protectively around Ruff. “My nephew wasn’t even here ten minutes before a stuck up Wolf called him names and attacked. Typical ponies, they lied when they said their school was safe!”

“School was safe until bully Dogs showed up!” yipped Pavel. “Tell them to go away.”

“What!? Wolves should go away!” shouted Ruff. “Ponyville is in Diamond Dog territory.”

Erik stepped forward, eyes narrowing. “Diamond Dog territory is underground, they don’t own surface. If they can’t behave...”

Trixie leaned towards Jim. “Is it too late for the Eternal Queen for Life Trixie to abdicate?”

Jim patted her shoulder sympathetically. “Much too late, your highness.”

Erik and Rover started snarling at each other again.

Elena facepawed and whined. “Can’t everywolf and dog just stop fighting?! Creatures are supposed to be learning about fun and friendship!”

“Ah think that’s an excellent suggestion,” said Applejack. She winked to Twilight.

Princess Twilight nodded to AJ, then concentrated, lifting eight surprised and squirming canines off the floor in her magic. “If you’re going to act like children, then maybe you should try *being* children for a while… in the Interdimensional Gaming Room!” Colors swirled and twisted as they fell through a portal, splashing down in shallow water just off a beach of some sort. “The first group who makes it to the top of the mountain gets to have their way!”

A soggy Trixie padded ashore and shook the water out of her coat… then shrieked at the sight of her Diamond Dog puppy forepaws. “Not again! Trixie must protest!”

Elena, Pavel, and Ruff took one look at their relatives reduced to cute puppies the same age as them, and completely lost it, rolling on the beach as they barked with laughter.

“Arrogant pony princess, she’s gone too far!” squeaked Alisa. She waved her little paw, but only a few sparks of dark magic flew from her claws. Her puppy ears dropped. “Uh oh…”

Session 84.14 Alex Warlorn

"'I have made money from this Cheese Shop, and instead of investing it back into the Cheese Shop, I'm going to invest it in my Carrot Shop instead! BWAHAHAHA! I AM SO EVIL!!!'"

"Uh, Princess Twilight, this new Super villain doesn't really seem all that evil," Sweetie Belle said.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN? Of course he's super evil!"

"Ah'm pretty sure raisin' capital for one venture with another venture isn't illegal," Apple Bloom said.

Session 84.15 Ardashir

Smolder was given another chance to GM a game with the Student Six, this time the Power Ponies RPG. Twilight was keeping a close eye on things as she presented the main villain.

"Bwa-ahahah!" Smolder shot up into the air over the students, her wings wide. "And Dr. Mindwarp says, 'Victory is at hand! Now I will mind control everyone into being generous and giving all their stuff away to the needy!'"

"Huh?" Smolder frowned as Ocellus flew up to her. "Wait, how is he being evil by making people be generous?"

"Oh, I know, I know!" Silverstream waved one claw frantically. "He's evil because mind control is a compromise of the individual right to determine one's own actions?"

"Huh? No!" Smolder rolled her eyes. Twilight' eyes widened as the little dragon said, "Because if ya let all the weaklings live they drag the species down! Every dragon knows that."

"Tell it like it is, sister!" Garble yelled from the door, a cart sitting next to him. "Remind these ponies that we're apex predators. We're the ones who decide what morality is!" He froze as a call from Pinkie Pie echoed down the hall. "Yeah, okay, I'm hurrying with the balloons." He quickly pushed the cart out of sight.

"What? That's not, I mean, no, ugh!" Twilight facehoofed. "Note to self. Remember that Ember and especially Spike are not normal dragons in personality."

And all unseen by her, a pony that looked like Twilight save for the black torn cloak she wore and the cruel glee on her face also overheard as she crept by the window.

"Heh, pretty clever," 'Mean Twilight' whispered as she peeked through the window at the defiant Smolder facing Twilight and the other students. "Hey, maybe I should use those loser friends of mind and write our own games." She grinned to see Smolder sit down with a huff as Twilight took over. "And I know who we can get some ideas from."

Session 84.16 Alex Warlorn

"I don't buy this." Human Rainbow Dash reading a Legend of Cadenza manual, "So there's two breeds of aquatic ponies, and they really really don't get along in spite of both being basically fish, and most people can't even tell the difference?"

"Hey Twilight!" Called the Earth pony to the Alicorn Princess.

"Yes Applejack?"

"Ya know how the diamond wolves and diamond dogs really didn't like each other?"

"Applejack for the last time, if I'm going to have that 'trickster mentor' license that came with my coronation into being a princess (which actually explains a few things with my time as Celestia's student), I might as well put it to good use! A mile in each other's paws is what they need!"

"This ain't about that! Aquastria wants to send one of the merponies here too!"

"So what? Queen Novo and King Leo settled their territory borders in Mortal Com-bat."

-

"MORTAL COM-BAT!"

The two video thestrals on screen tore each other to piece, digital blood splattering everywhere on screen. Queen Novo and King Leo mashing their controllers with absurdly complex combos.

-

"Yeah! But that doesn't mean there isn't still bad blood going around!"

"HOUSE THIEF!"

"SEA-HOARDER!"

"And it sounds like Silverstream and Princess Wavedancer VII just met."

A pink merpony with blue hair and Silverstream rolled by, her tail wrapped around his throat while he had his claws around her gills, the sound of things being smashed and water splashing everywhere.

"SHOO-BE-DO FOREVER!"

Session 84.17 Ardashir (Inspired by Knights of the Dinner Table)

"Now!" Twilight sat down for her special session of roleplaying with the Student Six. She trusted that Rarity and Applejack would be able to keep an eye on the Diamond Wolves and Dogs while she attended to this. She focused her attention on Smolder. "Since it seems that some of you have had a few little problems with your friendship lessons of late, I decided to show you how much fun and valuable knowledge can be with a game of O&O..."

"Hey, can we get back to the stuff with Dr. Mindwarp then?" Smolder grinned and rubbed her chin. "Because I had this idea..." She swallowed as Twilight gave her a fearsome smile Ember would have envied.

"Not right now." She handed out their usual character sheets. "Now! It all starts with you being summoned to a mountaintop monastery..."

***

"WHAT!" Gallus raised one claw to toss his dice, subsiding at a warning glance from Twilight. "The treasure is a buncha books? We oughta burn the dump down!"

"Spell books?" Ocellus, now playing the group wizard, asked hopefully.

"No, dear, books of non-magical knowledge," Twilight said. As the students groaned she said, "What? But this is a treasure! Knowledge that was hidden from sapient creature for centuries."

"She's right!" Smolder leaped to her feet. "This is a treasure!" The smile on Twilight's face began to slip as the dragon said, "Just think of how much some dumb libarians -- uh, no offense, teacher -- would pay for lost and irreplaceable books! We're sittin' on a gold mine!"

The students began to cheer at the idea of their newfound wealth as Twilight schemed frantically.

***

"So the new workman's compensation laws, that I didn't just invent, will ruin your horrible scheme to sell those wonderful books -- I mean, it's not really profitable any more."

The students looked downhearted, all save Smolder who rubbed her chin a moment. "Actually, even if we do pay that new comp-whatever thing, we'll still be rolling in loot. What?" She shrugged at Twilight's stare. "Hey, dragons know wealth."

***

"And the invading alien space soldiers demand you hand the books over now!" Twilight said, her voice shrill and her mane starting to become frazzled.

Smolder frowned and went into a huddle with her friends. They talked, and she said. "I make a counteroffer. 'Hey, we'll pay you guys instead of fighting over it, and in exchange you help us conquer the world. Okay?" As Twilight spluttered, she said, "I read the rulebook. With the money we're offering we should get a killer bonus on our diplomacy roll."

"Yona want be general!" The little yak girl cheered.

Twilight watched in silent despair as the dice rolled. "And so... with a natural 20... your new space soldier mercenary army obeys your every order."

***

"Um, Miss Twilight, are you okay?" Silverstream asked, carefully extending one claw. She flinched and pulled it back when the maddened mare looked at her through the tangled witch-locks of her mane. "You seem kinda tense. We can always stop if..."

"If you can't take it," Smolder idly buffed her claws.

"NO!" Twilight almost cackled out, her voice cracking. The students recoiled, all save Smolder, as Twilight said, "DESPITE you thinking you were clever by having your soldiers immunized... DESPITE having them maintain their weapons and equipment to avoid breakdowns when there's no chance of resupply... DESPITE rigging your new superdreadnought's AI to be able to cast spells powered by the antimatter reactors..."

"I thought that was pretty clever," Ocellus said, blushing as her friends cheered for her.

The Student Six froze as Twilight laughed with mad glee.

"Like I said, DESPITE ALL THAT! You still made your error when you tried to force the School for Gifted Unicorns -- I MEAN! For Gifted Wizards, to accept you and your ship as the greatest wizards ever!" She giggled, sounding nearly hysterical. "Because they forced you to cast the most powerful fireball spell ever. And it DESTROYED THE PLANET!"

"Fire, the cause and solution of all life's problems," Smolder leaned back in her chair.

"A-ha!" Twilight waved the rulebook. "But since you magic items get all their power from the campaign world, they all stop working!"

The students looked worried. Then Smolder spoke.

"Actually? No." Twilight blinked owlishly as Smolder said. "We still got the ship, and it came here through a wormhole. Or so you said."

"Ye-yes," Twilight said, her voice going quiet as her eyes widened in horror.

"Well, you told us those things permit time travel, just like Miss Glimmer's spells that she's never supposed to use..."

"Did someone mention me?" An alicorn Starlight Glimmer stuck her head into the room. Her current self stepped in and froze upon seeing her. The alicorn said, "Glimmer, you didn't try telling the Wolves they're no different than Diamond Dogs yet, did you? Because if you did, then let me tell you..." Their voices faded as the two Starlights trotted down the corridor.

The students and Twilight stared after them.

"Okay, that happened," Smolder said before returning to the game. "Anyway! We'll just fly in the wormhole and time travel back to before the whole mess started."

"Yona hit ship's self-destruct switch. What?" The yak looked at her friends. "Yona think this all get way out of hoof."

"So there we are, back at the monastery, now what?" Smolder smiled evilly as she said it.

***

"So despite all you could do, the experts who piled the books into their saddle bags all spontaneously leap to their deaths off the cliffside!" Twilight whooped for glee, seemingly not noticing that the students had left hours ago and the sun was long set. "So I win! I WIN! A-hahaha! Isn't that right, Miss Smarty Pants?" She addressed the last question to a crude pencil drawing of her beloved doll. It, along with a bound and gagged Spike, was all her company at the moment.

"Uh, Twilight?" Starlight Glimmer peeked around the corner. "I just had a long conversation with my future self -- once that would have sounded so strange -- and I think we may have a problem where the wolves and dogs are concerned. Something else may have slipped into that pocket dimension."

***

"I AM SQUIRK! MASTER OF ALL!" The fire-red octopus howled as it waved its tentacles around, with snarling little canids hanging from all of them by their fangs. "So let go you fleabags!"

Session 84.18 Mtangalion

At the top of a winding path overlooking the beach, eight wolf and dog pups flopped down, panting with tongues lolling. Scruff shook himself, then padded over and peered down the edge. “Do you think we gave it the slip?”

“Wolves are going to sue!” grumbled Prince Erik, when he got his breath back. “Tentacles should not be in game for pups!”

“Aw, why did we run away?” whined Rover. “I wanted to beat the octopus up and take its shinies!”

“Why’d we dance and sing song about running away?” wondered Pavel aloud.

“Very old magic,” said Alisa peevishly. “Now stop talking about it.”

Elena grinned, tail wagging. “Can we sing another one?”

“No!” yipped Alisa, looking around as if a catchy melody might ambush them at any moment. “Anything but that!”

Trixie climbed atop a boulder. “Excuse me, fellow puppies! Queen Trixie has something to say.” She posed, putting a paw to her chest. “Clearly, the Furry and Fabulous Trixie is the dog who should be in charge! Firstly, she has participated in a similar game before, when we raced our Chaos counterparts. She is eminently qualified to lead our group to the exit before the hideous slimy squid beast finds us again! Secondly…”

Chancellor Jim pawed her shoulder. “Ah, your majesty?”

Trixie glared. “Do not interrupt while Queen Trixie is…” She blinked. The Diamond Wolves were gone. Crudely constructed dummies stood in their place, with big painted on fake smiles. “Whaaaat?!!”

Jim sighed. “What are your orders now, majesty?”

Trixie pointed. “After those wolves!”

Applejack raised an eyebrow, while Starlight paced and Twilight peered into the crystal ball in her office. “Should we go in after them? How long do ya reckon it’ll take them to find the exit, Twi?”

“It shouldn’t take long at all,” said Twilight reassuringly. “Erik and Jim are intelligent leaders, Alisa is clever and sneaky, and Trixie… well, they have Trixie.”

“Hey!” protested Starlight.

“Plus, it’s obvious that the puzzle will require the Dogs and Wolves to work together. Cliched, even! They couldn’t possibly not figure that out.”

Applejack pointed a hoof at the crystal ball. “Ah wouldn’t be so sure.”

Twilight looked again, and saw all the Diamond Wolf pups stuck in a tar trap… while all the Dogs strutted right on past, snickering childishly. “Well, okay, they have some animosity to work through! But sooner or later… Oh dear.” Now the Dogs were dangling in a net together, and the Wolves razzed them and scampered on their way. “I’d better turn down the difficulty. And activate the hints. Lots of hints…”

Session 84.19 Alex Warlorn

"Come on come on, what taking them all so long?!" Tirek, attorney at Law cursed checking out the World of Horsecraft server monitors.

"Problem Trekkie?" Lead Programmer Discord asked.

"Don't EVER call me that... and it's been two or three weeks since the release of the Ascension expansion... and not a single party had completed all the new raids, unlocked the secret final raid for the expansion... AND THE COOL CGI CUT-SCENE OF ME DRIVING A GIANT SPACE SWORD INTO EQUUS!!! ... It's just sitting there in the servers, locked, unseen, and unused, isn't that driving you crazy?!"

"I'm always crazy, well, not legally of course. They haven't invented a word yet for my condition. But yes... it is beginning to slowly build up and infuriate me that they were so hype and complaining and demanding that we get this expansion out already... and now that we have it out... No one is even TRYING to complete all the raids!"

"Maybe you overdid it on the number of raids?" Gabby suggested.

"NO SUCH THING!" Tirek and Discord amazingly agreed on something.

"AND IF I CATCH ONE MORE TIED-DYE SHIRT IN THIS OFFICE YOU'RE OUT OF MY WILL!... Hello Discord."

"Hi Chryssy... "

Session 84.20 Alex Warlorn

"Uh... Pinkie Pie... what's this new video game you brought from the human world?" Twilight asked unsure looking

"Cat Girl Without Salad!" Pinkie Pie. "THIS GAME JUST SPEAKS TO ME! It's like it was made by me, for me, of me!"

"... I'm not going to say 'you have to be making that up' because I know how that always goes... but that last part does not make sense!"

"Oh yes it does! FUNTAZMICAL!"

"THAT ISN'T A WORD!"

"Kebako uses it!"

"Who?!"

"My new hero!" Pinkie Pie pointed to the ... pink, cat girl, in space outfit, crossing between a school uniform and a mega-pony outfit...

"Just because a video game character uses a word doesn't make it word! And if she's a cat girl, why does she have a devil tail?! THAT MAKES NO SENSE!"

"OH! OH! But it's really fun! See~! And the main character, I've finally found a protagonist who thinks like I do!"

"... I'm not sure any world is ready for this..."

"And she gets power ups with different video games! She shoots little jumping men! And then uses role playing game moves in a shooter! She is my new inspiration!"

"... Somepony HAD to be spying on you when they made this game!"

Nope, not making this up!

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/VideoGame/CatGirlWithoutSalad

Session 84.21 Mtangalion

Scruff peered through the gap in a crumbling stone wall, boosted up by Chancellor Jim, Rover, and even Trixie, grudgingly. “Well? Can you see the exit? Hurry up and say! You’re very heavy for the Adorable and Fluffy Trixie to hold up!”

“Heavy for you!?” grunted Rover, at the bottom of the puppy ladder.

Scruff’s tail started wagging, bopping Trixie’s snout. “I see two flashing arrows AND a neon exit sign! Hah, we dogs found it first!”

“Okay!” yipped Jim. “Everydog down, and put your forepaws together.” The other puppies blinked at him in confusion, but shrugged and obeyed. “Focus on earth magic! Since we only have the magical potency of puppies right now, we’re too weak by ourselves, but if we pool our magic, we can break this wall!”

Trixie gasped. “You can do that? I mean… of course Trixie knew. She was just about to suggest it, in fact!”

“Why you!” Rover lifted a paw to cuff her, but Jim glared, shaking his head. “Ugh, okay… fine.” They all focused, and the wall vibrated and grew more cracks, but it didn’t fall down.

So of course, that was when the wolf puppies caught up to them, carrying water balloons.

Pavel grinned toothily. “Hah! Time for payback, for paying us back for paying you back for paying us back!” He lifted his water balloon to throw…

“No,” said Erik, unexpectedly. He sighed, then padded towards the dogs, and held out his forepaw. “Here, I’ll help.”

The dogs stared at the wolf pup like he’d grown two more heads and called himself Cerberus.

“What?” grumbled Erik. “Erik’s tired and cranky and ready for naptime. Not so good with earth, but every bit counts! You want help or not?”

The dogs kept giving him their suspicious stares, but it was finally Rover who took Erik’s paw. The rock wall shook harder and finally crumbled, letting them pass.

Alisa cackled. “About time you figured it out.” Everypup turned to stare at her, eyes wide. “What? Making enemies do challenge so they work together is super obvious! Biggest cliche ever, Alisa knew right away.”

“Then why didn’t you TELL US?!” barked Trixie.

Alisa smirked. “Because pranks more fun.”

Pavel and Elena glanced at each other, then nodded and started kicking dust all over Alisa.

“Ack!” whined Alisa. “Fool whelps! Alisa will get you, you'll never see her pranks coming!”

Erik barked with laughter. “You might be pup, but you’re getting old and predictable! Bark worse than bite.” He started towards the exit, but the sunbeam in the next room immediately made him sway on his paws, starting to fall asleep.”

Alisa nipped Erik’s tail to startle him awake again. “Not so old that Alisa forgets that final challenge comes in threes!” She looked to Elena. “You remember that thing you’re not supposed to do except for lesson time?”

Elena gasped. “Really, I can do it? It’s not showing off?” Her tail wagged up a storm.

Alisa chuckled. “Silly girl. Here.” She and Elena put their forepaws together, and motes of darkness began to dance around them. The sunbeam magically dimmed, allowing the puppies to pass.

That brought them closer than ever to the exit, but there was still a rushing river in their path. The puppies had seen it before… any pup who fell in would be washed out, back to the start of the game.

“This needs ice,” Erik declared. “Pavel, come help, and don’t freeze self in ice block this time!”

“It was just one time,” muttered Pavel, ears drooping, but he soon cheered up again and put his forepaw on his father’s shoulder. Brilliant blue motes danced, and ice spread across the river, but not enough to make a safe path.

Scruff hesitated, looking at his uncle, and then he approached Pavel and held out his forepaw. “I… I’ll help you!”

Pavel gawked. “Huh? But, dogs don’t have ice magic! All scholars and dogs with different magic left mines to become Diamond Wolves, long ago!”

“Why do you think I wanted to come to this dumb school anyway!?” barked Scruff. “A few dogs still have it, just a few… like me. I have ice, so my earth magic stinks, and I can’t dig fast like others. All the other pups laughed at me. I thought… I could meet creatures who don’t care about that!” He snorted and looked away angrily…

Only to be started when Pavel clasped his paw. “Not saying we’re friends! Pavel’s tired and cranky too, that’s all!” The wolf pup and the dog pup looked at each other and smirked despite themselves… and the combined magic made the surface of the river freeze completely solid with a resounding crack.

Rover scratched his headfur. “So, who wins contest?”

That debate didn’t even get started before the Squirk roared, echoing in the passage right behind them. The pups yip-yip-yipped, scrambling and sliding across the ice bridge and through the exit.

Session 84.22 Ardashir

"Um, Twilight?" Spike looked around the door into Twilight's office as she scored test papers. "We have a problem."

Twilight shuddered as she stood up."Okay... What is it this time?"

"Well," Spike scratched along his spines, producing a sound like scraping metal, "Remember how you told the Diamond Wolf puppies they had to show some of the unique magic of their people like everypony else did?"

"Ye-es..." Twilight said, nervous. "What did they do, imitate some of the other students?"

"It kinds started out like that," Spike looked nervous as Twilight's horn began to sizzle with magic, "But then they wanted to one-up each other, and..."

***

"Hah!" Pavel said, he and Elena removing their pony-suits before the student six. They stood beside the school's swimming pool, the afternoon sun hot on fur and feathers and scales. "That is something ONLY Diamond Wolves can do, not anywolf else!"

"Oh, really?" Silverstream laughed, clutched her sliver from the Transformation Pearl, and concentrated. It flashed and a moment later she swam about the pool in her seapony form. She swam up by Pavel and sprayed him with water. As he shook himself she said, "Hah! You can't do that!"

"No?" Pavel's eyes focused on the pearl. He crouched and leaped, catching it in his paws. "Pavel will show fish-bird-horse!"

"Hey, leggo!" Silverstream rolled through the water with him, and the pearl flashed with its magic. Twice.

***

"So what happened?" Twilight asked as she came out to the pool. She saw several of the Student Six. They were gathered around what looked like Elena -- except Elena stood right beside the new Wolf with light grey fur shading into pale orchid around her muzzle and paws.

"Eeee! I'm a wolf! I have paws! And a great big nose for smelling things! This is great!" Silverstream lifted her head and sniffed. "I can smell so many things! Miss Twilight smells like magic! Smolder smells like greed and anger! And Ponyville smells like --" Her eyes bulged and she gagged, looking green.

"Huh," Spike said. "I thought AJ said she was gonna spread the fertilizer on her fields today."

Twilight just rolled her eyes. "Students, where is Pavel?"

As one they pointed at the pool. It was turn for Twilight's eyes to bulge as she saw a large shape, big as an adult sea pony, moving under the water. It swam down by her and lifted its lupine head on a long muscular neck.

"Pavel is Sea Wolf now!" He barked. "Have to change back!" He grinned and dove deep before diving out of the pool and back down, splashing everypony. "Eventually."

"At least the worst for this day has happened," a dripping Twilight grumbled.

And with a flutter of wings Princess Skystar dropped down beside her.

"Hi, Twilight! Mom sent me here to find out how Slverstream is doing, and --" She caught sight of the transformed and adult-size Pavel, blinked, and dove into the pool, transforming as she went. "And hello, handsome," she said, face to face with the confused Wolf, her smile more of a leer. "New in the ocean? Need someone to play hide-and-seek in the coral with?"

Twilight just groaned as she thought about all the new letters she'd be writing.

Session 84.23 Alex Warlorn

Princess Twilight sighed, "Didn't I ask you NOT to use the transformation pearl while at the school because it was seen as offensive to the merpony students and would only stir the pot?"

Silverstream said, "Oh I was falling back on the sacred hippogriff tradition... ignore a problem and wait for it go away..."

"Great! Now the DIAMOND DOGS want to invade the ocean?!" Came an angry shout from the pool.

"They're in Merpony-face!"

"I want to go back to table top game antics with my friends now." Twilight sighed.

Session 84.24 Kendell2

Twilight blinked, finding themselves in the Interdimensional Game Room again. She sighed. "Okay, Discord, what is it THIS time?"

Discord suddenly appeared. "Oh come on, now, Twilight, last two times were fun!"

"Fair enough, but you're always doing SOMETHING when we come here."

"Well you see, I looked at the calendar and noticed this month was the start of the second generation of our little franchise...well, not second generation, they didn't get a show, but the second show," Discord explained, holding up a calendar.

Pinkie Pie pulled out a calendar and checked. "He's right!"

"So I decided this called for a CROSSOVER!" said Discord, snapping his fingers and opening a door, then, opening it.

A group of seven teenaged ponies emerged from a door. One was pink with a yellow mane, her cutie Mark a yellow star. Another was white with a pink mane, her cutie mark a heart surrounded by smaller hearts, another reminded them of Bon bon with some differences, another light blue with an orange mane, her cutie mark a not book with a blue pen. The next one was purple with a different shade of purple for her mane, her Cutie Mark a four leaf clover. Then was a peach colored teen with a pink mane and tail, cutie mark a patch of fabric. The last was pink furred with a blue mane and tail, Cutie Mark a microphone.

"Where are we?" asked the yellow one, looking around.

"I don't know, but I want to check it out!" said the peach colored one.

"Oh, you don't think we've been kidnapped, do you?" asked the purple one.

"I prefer the term 'borrowed'," said Discord.

The seven looked at him for a few moments with wide eyes...and mostly screamed and ran while the peach one just started in amazement. "Cool!"

The other six ran off in one direction, then came back around from the other side, ran a different direction and in turn came back around from the other side.

The mane six and Starlight yelled as they six ran into them and tumbled head over hooves.

"Oops, sorry..." muttered the purple one.

"Thank goodness! Adults!" said the light blue one. "Help! There's a crazy thing and we don't know where we are!"

Discord gave an annoyed sigh. "You're in the interdimensional game room! And before any of you worry about your 'parents' being worried: one, I don't care. And two, you know those stories were you go on a huge adventure then return and it's only been like two minutes?"

The peach teen nodded. "Yeah."

"This is one of those! You're not in danger, you're just here to play table top games with my friends over there. You're safe! I swear upon the Terrifying Embodiment of the End of Time that might or might not be my mother depending on the canon of this universe!" Discord said. "Any other questions?"

The mare looked him over. "...Are you an alien who's abducted us?"

"Kind of. If your definition of alien is 'being from another dimension," the Draconequus replied. He snapped his fingers and the groups were suddenly back sorted properly and standing face to face.

The light blue one looked around in complete bewilderment. "What just happened?!"

"I teleported you," Discord said.

"But that's impossible!"

"Now, you haven't met me, but nothing is impossible for me!...Except tanking friendship powered rainbows, but that's neither here nor there! And is it really that weird? Your friend here's Weirdness Magnetism is off the charts!" said the Draconequus proudly. then holding a 'Weirdness Magnetism' Detector next to the peach colored pony, which went wild. "Mane Six, meet Tales Seven! Stars of this show meet stars of the past show! Now enjoy yourself! Next month is the anniversary of G1 and you'll get to meet Megan! See you when you're done! Arrivederci!" he said, suddenly on a unicycle at which point he rolled backwards and fell off the 'edge' of the room into nothing, but somehow causing a loud crash with the sound of a cat yowling as he vanished.

"MY CABBAGES!" screamed a distressed voice from nowhere.

"...Bright Eyes, you're hyperventilating..." the peach colored mare said, looking to the light blue one. "No reason to panic!"

"We've been kidnapped by a crazy...thing and left in a dark room! This seems like a completely rational time to panic!"

Twilight put a hoof on her shoulder. "Take a deep breath..." she said, doing her breathing exercise. The teen copied her. "Then out..." she said, doing the other half, the girl following suit. "Better?"

"Y-Yeah...thanks..."

"You're welcome. Your friend is right, you're safe, Discord will send you home after...whatever game he's playing is finished, if he doesn't, Fluttershy will get on him until he does, I promise," said Twilight. "Okay?"

"I-I guess..." said Bright Eyes...before her eyes followed up Twilight's face to her horn...then down her back to her wings. "...What are you?"

"I'm an Alicorn..."

The peach mare's eyes widened. "D-Do those wings work?"

Twilight spread them and hovered. "Yes, why?"

"Flying magic ponies! See! I told you they existed!"

Bright Eyes and the yellow one promptly fainted.

"...This will be a long day..." said Twilight with a sigh.

Session 84.25 Alex Warlorn (SPOILERS FOR THE EPISODE 'THE WASHOUTS!')

Pinkie Pie was playing 'Cat Girl Without Salad' with her personal mod (the pony galaxy), when Rainbow Dash flew in through her window.

"Pinkie Pie! It's all gone crazy! I saw Lightning Dust down the street, and she smiled and waved at me, and when I warned Twilight Lightning Dust was in town, she just shrugged it off, saying she hoped we had fun! Please tell me you remember and she didn't use her evil mind control magic on you too!"

Pinkie Pie turned off her game and hugged Rainbow Dash. "Oh Dashie, there is no evil mind control magic, you're just remembering how things went in the heart world. So you see, Dashie, since in this universe, you and Lightning Dust making up after she got demoted actually happened. So you had no reason to become enemies. So those events with her at the helm would have made no sense."

"Huh?! So you're saying I just DREAMED all that?!" Rainbow Dash exasperated.

"Oh no no no, those events still happened, but Wind Rider was leader of the Wash-Outs instead. Since having Lightning Dust turn evil when that scene between you two happening wouldn't make sense, since the most nasty ex-Wonderbolt you know was slipped into her spot in her place by the fates."

Session 84.26 Alex Warlorn

"So, Princess Wavedancer," Starlight Glimmer began. "Please tell me why you're feeling down here at Friendship Academy."

"Half the time it's like I don't exist!" The merpony said. "Every time I try to say or do anything, one of those mutts seems to jump right into the spot light instead!"

"It's not polite to call them 'mutts' dear, it doesn't show respect, and respect is the first step to understanding."

"And the other half of the time, I have students asking me, 'why don't you just turn into a hippogriff?' AGH! I have to explain them, over and over and over! That I'm a MERpony! Not one of those fake water ponies 'seaponies' hippogriff shape change into with their stupid magic pearl pieces! It's just gets to tiring to have to explain to them that I'm not one of them! And the worst part is? They then say 'Oh I'm so sorry to hear that!' Sorry! Like me being me is something WRONG with me! It's bad enough those thieving Hippogriffs are here, but all the rest just look at me IN PITY, like I'm an INFERIOR LIFE FORM! Like I need to 'upgrade' to a amphibian state like those hippogriffs have!"

Starlight started to say "I'm sorry" but thankfully stopped herself just in time. She should go Princess Twilight to ask for help on this... but she HAD been made counselor (it felt like everypony in Equestria was getting a job at or becoming related to this school somehow), and she had to show that she wasn't just pandering off all the student with troubles onto Twilight. But what was her solution?

Session 84.27 Alex Warlorn

La la la la! Applejack was Mineacrafting all day long! She was doing a solo run of the game with an enchanted comic version.

Applejack had previous gone into a desert cave that proved to be a lot deeper that she ever imagined it would be. Her inventory was completely filled. And her only option was to dig up, well, she nearly got killed by the sand that buried her alive, but she got it, and built a ladder right into the middle of the desert.

AJ chose to build a little cabin. She loved how IN THIS GAME you didn't need to sleep, you could just work forever, never needing to rest, why couldn't life be more like that? She couldn't remember the last time she'd sleep in game!

She built her house next to the exit hole she made, adding a sign, a gate, and some torches.

Then built the house, since sand was all around, she built most of the walls and the entire ceiling completely out of glass! A nice way for her to watch the monsters from the safety of her home. It was fun to watch the monsters wander about in your well lit house where they could never get you! And a glass ceiling was so tricky in real life but so beautiful in Minecraft!

She didn't NEED to build the bed of course, it was just for show really, just it was still worth trekking back to her home base for the wool to make it. What would Rarity call? Fun-Sway?

But as it turned to night, she heard the most terrifying screech she'd ever heard! She wondered if it was an updated version of the Ender Pony's sound. Or maybe the sand zombies? AJ made sure to stare straight ahead just in case! She turned on the sub titles... 'Phantom', weren't those that powerful monsters that you had to CREATE to actually fight? Where was that sound coming from?! It seemed to be coming from every direction but Applejack didn't see them anywhere!

Then she happened to look up, and maybe she pooped in her virtual pants. She was eye to eye with, one, two, three, four, five, SIX, maybe more! Of these giant bat like monsters (or sting rays) with visible bones on their bodies, blank green eyes staring back at her. And then swooping over and over and over down on top of her glass ceiling, as if trying to break in, before flying upwards and repeating the process! And that terrifying screech every time! And their eyes kept being locked on hers!

Applejack watched them all night, just swooping, and screeching. At least she saw to her relief that burst into flames from sunlight, same as any monster... AJ had never been so relieved to see that...

+++

"Oh those," Princess Twilight said the next morning as AJ recounted her experience. "I read about those in the new update. Apparently they're attracted to Insomnia."

"Say wha'?"

"Ponies who haven't slept or respawned in three days. They are more likely to appear and will appear in larger numbers the longer you haven't slept. They're relentless trackers and can dive underwater after somepony if need me and can even track somepony underground. And aren't limited by the monster population cap. Also only spawn if you have nothing or transparent blocks above your head. Like say glass."

AJ stared for a moment. "Dagnabbit!"

(Based on my own experience!)

Session 84.28 Mtangalion

Princess Twilight settled in her office chair, took a deep breath, then lit her horn, setting a flurry of things in motion. Her office door closed, magic danced across the computer keyboard, typing her password, and a pair of headphones specially modified for ponies settled over her ears.

She couldn’t help but grin in satisfaction. If there was one good thing about running a gaming academy, as opposed to a traditional school, it was that she was perfectly justified in setting up one of their precious few human computers in her private office and playing the occasional game herself.

She magically nudged the push-to-talk key. “Hey, girls!”

The response was immediate. “Ugh, where have you been, Princess?!” said the voice of the human Rainbow Dash, raspier than usual due to static and unavoidable distortions from the audio compression algorithm… she’d really have to see about improving that with magic one of these days. “We need to be running those raids in the new World of Horsecraft expansion and getting that awesome new loot, like, yesterday!”

Princess Twilight cleared her throat. “Rainbow, you know there’s still a lot of preparations to make. I made…”

Rainbow groaned. “You made a list. Heh, of course you made a list. Our Twilight did.”

Princess Twilight’s ears flicked forward. “She did? Let me see!” She checked the pinned messages in the (Elements of Harmony) guild forum and started reading. “This is really good, actually. Incredibly well organized.” She hesitated… did this count as patting herself on the back? “Anyway, she’s mostly reached the same conclusions as myself. The raid team needs to be better geared through dungeons and have more key professions levelled, especially…”

“Dungeon runs, great!” shouted Rainbow, pouncing on that. “Actually doing something! Hurry up and log in, and we’ll carry your character through some mythic dungeons right now!”

Princess Twilight winced. “That’s very generous, and I’d love to take you up on that offer, but…”

“Whaaaat!?” shouted Rainbow, when she saw Real Princess in the guild list in game. “Oh, come on! You haven’t even levelled your character to the new max level yet?!”

Out of nowhere, the whole school lurched to one side, then started groaning, shaking back and forth. While things slid off her shelves and papers flew everywhere, a dragon mail message appeared in a ball of flame and dropped onto Twilight’s head. “Help!” it read. “Discord turned everyone into yaks!”

Twilight slapped a hoof down on the push-to-talk key with a deadpan expression. “Gee, Rainbow, I wonder why.”

Author's Note

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?
What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

Session 84.0 Mtangalion
Session 84.1 Alex Warlorn
Session 84.2 Mtangalion
Session 84.3 Kendell2
Session 84.4 Mtangalion
Session 84.5 Alex Warlorn
Session 84.6 Kendell2
Session 84.7 Alex Warlorn
Session 84.8 Mtangalion
Session 84.9 Ardashir
Session 84.10 Ardashir
Session 84.11 Alex Warlorn
Session 84.12 Alex Warlorn
Session 84.13 Mtangalion
Session 84.14 Alex Warlorn
Session 84.15 Ardashir
Session 84.16 Alex Warlorn
Session 84.17 Ardashir (Inspired by Knights of the Dinner Table)
Session 84.18 Mtangalion
Session 84.19 Alex Warlorn
Session 84.20 Alex Warlorn
Session 84.21 Mtangalion
Session 84.22 Ardashir
Session 84.23 Alex Warlorn
Session 84.24 Kendell2
Session 84.25 Alex Warlorn
Session 84.26 Alex Warlorn
Session 84.27 Alex Warlorn
Session 84.28 Mtangalion

MLPFiM Copyright Hasbro

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Picture by Kinrah used with permission.
https://www.deviantart.com/kinrah/art/Everyone-Play-some-O-and-O-700731652

Session 104

Session 104.0 Alex Warlorn

(Continued from 103.9)

"Okay girls... " Sci-Twi said awkwardly, with five of her players role-playing as nudist adventurers (except Pinkie Pie doing a fashion obsessed Exiled Modron). "I guess I can still make this work... You all went to sleep one night .. and you wake up in changes ... With fancy dressed people force you to wear green face paint and put on green pointed costume ears. They ignore any questions you give them... But they do say to you.

"'Now remember! Your job isn't to win! It's to provide a entertaining encounter!"

"Your cages are raised into the hot noonday sun... you find cheap sub-par weapons scattered about in front of you in the dirt. You are surrounded on all sides by tall log fences ending in spikes! And behind the spikes on scaffolds are rich humanoids of all shape, sizes, and races, drow, orcs, ogres, goblins, trolls, gnolls... all dressed like nobility and cheering and hollering as a wild crowd!

"There are wooden gates on each side of you with mechanisms at the top of the two story high log fences manned by beefy but lazy and bored looking guards.

"You hear screams, pleads for mercy, mixed in with happy laughter, playful quips, and badass slogans, silenced with gurgled death cries.

The bored guards pull log gate directly in front of you open.

And you see four finely dressed humanoids...

One is a drow dressed like a stereotypical wizard holding a wand. Another is an orc dressed as a golden fighter. Another is a goblin dressed as a stereotypical thief with a darkhood. And finally a ogre dressed up as a cleric wielding the holy symbol of the false idol of greed often worshiped by aristocrats of the Golden Calf. All of them look like they don't have a spect of dirt on them or ever has.

"All around them are the dead bodies of elves, humans, kobolds, and a real goblin, all dressed up in costume like you armed with similar pathetic weapons."

"WHERE'S OUR EQUIPMENT?" Rainbow Dash demanded.

"You see it right next to the guards who pulled open the gate, it's in a pile with the guards throwing dice to decide who gets what, obviously clueless on what they have their hands on.

"The four 'adventurers' say themselves jovially. 'Ah! What a hard fought fight that way! Now let us quest further into this dark dungeon and take back the sacred goblet that the monsters have stolen from the king and earn our reward!' Says the fighters as he picks up a bag of gold from an unlocked chest. You see a similar chest behind you Sunset, that even without a skill check you can tell it's armed with the most pathetic and harmless trap known to man!

"'Let us see what other dangers await us in this dungeon my friends!' grins the goblin thief noble... "

"OH!" Pinkie Pie said, "My bard character knows what this is! We Monodrons did something similar once! We created a simulated dungeon to try and figure out how they work... though now that I'm disconnected from the hive mind I can see we didn't quiet get the details right."

"Except these nobles are doing it for ENTERTAINMENT!" Sci-Twi said.

"Well I'm not as helpless as I look!" Rainbow Dash said. "By the way as a Warforged I don't sleep!"

"Well, they disabled your stream of consciousness somehow." Sci-Twi said in the 'The DM is alway right' voice.

"... Did they search me for my hidden barbarian axe I keep inside my body?..."

"... Uh... No?"

Rarity asked, "Does my Saluki diamond dog sorceress and Fluttershy's lizard-folk cleric remember our spells?"

Sci-Twi nodded, "Yes, you remember all your prepared spells."

Sunset said, "I shout at the Kobold noble, I exclaim my clan name and demand to be let out or they'll be sorry!"

"... The noble kobold laughs at you, 'None of your clan will ever even know you were here!'"

"So much for all Kobolds are buddies," Rainbow Dash said.

"Oh and you're best friends with all warforged?"

"I sent construction-day cards to those from my assembly forge," Rainbow Dash said.

Applejack said, "Well, my were cat thief has one question... are those guard who have our weapons and equipment paying any attention to us?"

"No. Not in the least. You're already dead to them. But the crowd sure has their eye on you!"

"Dangit!"

"On the bright side, since my armor class comes from my tattoos, I'm not that helpless," Sunset said.

"... The adventure noble walk into the section of their mock-up dungeon, and say to you loudly, 'Halt monster! Let us pass!' And before you can say anything they continue, 'So you will not let us pass?! Then there is only one way! Have at thee!' "

(If anyone wants to write the solution of this first counter, then PLEASE go ahead!)

Session 104.1 Ardashir

In between Tiamat trying to 'fifth column' Ponyville with dragonified ponies and assorted catastrophes, creatures still found time for tabletop roleplaying games. Or at least for the latest craze, magic comics versions of the same.

"Okay!" Gallus said as lesser wraiths, life-draining undead, swarmed around him and his friends. A silvery glow from Ocellus' horn (she played a mage like usual) was holding them back as they confronted the creator of the lesser undead, a mammoth cloud of crimson-eyed black shadows, a vile Dread Wraith. It glared at them in fury, unable to attack until they started the melee. "Ocellus has those other spooks walled off, we've got ghost-touch weapons and force spells..."

"Yona have her axe!" Yona cheerfully waved the massive weapon over the head of her horn-helmed barbarian. "But sometimes Yona thinks she is getting typecast."

"Nah, you're great," Smolder said, spellfire dancing over the claws of her powerful and oh-so elegant sorceress. Sandbar stood beside her, silvery light glittering coldly from the tips of his arrows. Smolder called, "Hey, Silver! You ready to start using your music and buffing us?"

"Uh, in a minute?" As her friends groaned Silverstream furrowed her brow over a scroll they'd picked up. "This says that if we kill the wraith that drained all the rest, they'll be set free..."

"GREAT!" Everyone yelled at once.

"Oo-oo-ooh! Can we do this?" The Dread Wraith sniffed in a hollow and prissy voice. "I have so many things to do today after I turn you into more of my lifeless minions! Let's start the mayhem."

"Your wish is our command!" Gallus slashed into the monster with his enchanted blade. As it howled "Oh, you meanie flesh-bag, you!" he added, "Now nail him!"

Spellfire, silver arrows, a swinging axe, and Ocellus' holy magic lashed out. The Dread Wraith collapsed into itself with a final despairing wail, vanishing from sight. The gathered lesser wraiths shuddered and seemed to look more solid as their creator-destroyer dissolved. The Student Six all cheered, high-hoofing each other, as Silverstream read her scroll and gulped.

"Uh, guys, destroying the main Dread Wraith frees all the others..." she began saying in a nervous voice.

"Yeah, and we did that!" Smolder waved a claw at the wraiths surrounding them. "Uh, you guys can leave now -- Guys?" She gulped as they began creeping closer, grinning evilly.

"You weren't listening!" Silverstream waved her scroll overhead. "It frees the lesser wraiths, by turning all of them into full Dread Wraiths!"

Everyone had just enough time to stare and scream before the life was torn from their bodies.

Moments later, a now-undead and incorporeal Gallus was surrounded by his friends, all in the same condition.

"Okay, okay," he grumbled. "Next time we'll listen to the bard first. And yeesh, is it just me or are these latest magic comics modules pretty undead-heavy?"

Down in the basement of the Friendship School Poncererak cackled, gnashing his fleshless jaws as Discord's conjured brain-eating monsters worked frantically at their typewriters and artist's boards.

"You heard me! We need six more pages for 'Into the Tower of Terror' by six so we can get one of those miserable breathers to mail them off to Manehattan." He turned on his pillow, a new one and well-stuffed, to bare now gold-capped teeth at his reflection in a hideous smile. "I still loathe mortals, but if they're willing to pay me for telling stories about the undead defeating them, I'll gladly take their bits."

Session 104.2 Mtangalion

(with some ideas from Alex)

Diamond Tiara settled into her favorite couch in her favorite room of the house for studying, pulled out her homework assignment... and promptly rolled her eyes. “Write a two page essay about a game that dragons can play but ponies can’t? Real subtle, Miss Cheerilee.” Still, Diamond dipped a quill in ink and got to work. Nopony wanted to hear an excuse like “I got an F because the assignment was stupid.”

“I wonder what it would be like if I did turn into a dragon?” Diamond mused to herself. “Heh. The old me probably would have done it in a heartbeat.” She waved a hoof imperiously. “You have something I don’t? I want it too! And I’m in charge!”

She giggled a bit, then frowned at an inkblot on her paper that resembled a flame-spitting dragon. “So how come I haven’t had any of those ‘greed is good’ dreams? Maybe I’ve already got everything I want?” Diamond closed her eyes, letting out a long slow breath. Funnily enough, five pairs of burning eyes did seem to ignite in the dark behind her eyelids, but there were no tempting words, only a sense of… smug anticipation?

Diamond’s frown deepened. “What, you think I’m just going to come to you? Come on, you have to offer something, even if you think you have this in the bag! Pfft, that’s just basic negotiating.”

The slam of the front door jolted her out of her thoughts.

“Unbelievable! Inexcusable!” Mother stalked into the study and fell into a couch, in a performance that even Miss Rarity would have found respectable. “One of those scaly brutes actually approached me in the street and said that I smelled delicious! Of course, he apologized and said he meant my jewelry, but still!” Spoiled Rich groaned, twisting a pillow between her hooves. “I don’t know why Princess Twilight doesn’t make some new Elements and blast all those beastly dragons back where they came from!”

Diamond opened her mouth to point out the flaws in that logic, but Mother spoke again before she could. “Diamond Tiara, I forbid you to become a dragon! Absolutely forbid! Randolph, help me up the stairs! I need to go lie down!”

Diamond Tiara firmly shut her class notebook. “Alright, then.”

Ten minutes later at the schoolhouse, Scootaloo and Rumble watched with bated breath as the dragon potion worked its magic on Diamond Tiara… blunt hooves splitting apart into sharp flexing claws, hair and fur shedding away to reveal elegant swirls of pink and purple scales... A long bladed tail lashed, wings snapped open, and the new dragoness threw back her horned head and ROARED.

Scootaloo grinned, fangs gleaming. “So? How’s it feel?”

Diamond opened cornflower-blue eyes, now slitted like a proper dragon’s, and her serpentine tongue tasted the air. “This is better than I expected, actually. I feel sharp, supremely capable… and superior to everycreature around me, of course.”

Rumble gave her a lazy smirk. “So, pretty much the same as when you were a pony?”

Diamond snorted… then shrugged her wings. “Eh, there’s no reason to be rude and rub it in ponies’ faces. I mean, it’s pretty obvious that dragons are superior.”

Scootaloo pumped a fist. “You said it, Diamond!” She blinked. “Huh, that felt weird. Hey, where are you going?”

Diamond paused at the door to grin slyly back at them. “I’m going to do like Daddy taught me and make some investments, of course!”

At the Ponyville Market, a disguised Flim was counting out yet another bag full of golden bits. “What a marvellous fortune we’ve earned in the dragon potion business! Why, if we became dragons ourselves, our accumulated profits would surely cause us to outgrow this entire town!”

“But that wouldn’t be any fun,” Flam pointed out. “How could we offer ponies such lucrative business opportunities if they ran screaming at the sight of us?”

“Too true, brother mine,” lamented Flim. “Too true!”

“Hey, you guys!” Diamond Tiara loomed over their market stall and purred with a growl in her throat, instantly getting their attention. “Give me a nice volume discount, and I’ll tell you where to find a great untapped market…”

Starlight Glimmer teleported to the long range receiving rune, conveniently placed just outside Our Town. She’d carved it herself, when she got tired of the day-long train rides back and forth. “Hey, guys, I got your message! What was so…” She froze, eyes wide.

Overnight, Our Town had become Our DRAGON Town.

“What.” Starlight pinched herself, then rubbed her eyes and looked again, but the town was still full of dragons. Oh, there were still a few ponies, but most of them were waiting in a line to receive their dose of dragon potion. “What… what… WHY?!”

Two young dragons landed before her, paws thumping to the ground. Familiar dragons, with amused toothy grins. “Why?” echoed Sugar Belle mockingly. “Don’t you remember why we came to you in the first place?”

Double Diamond laughed. “Back then, none of us were satisfied with our cutie marks.” He pointed a claw. “YOU said we should get rid of them, and that’s exactly what we just did… puny little pony!”

Starlight groaned. “But I thought you’d accepted your marks! I even helped pay for your therapy!”

Night Glider folded her arms. “You’re just sore because your magic sucked, and these dragon potions did the job right, made us strong instead of weak!” She held out a bottle, swirling the liquid around. “Wanna join the party? Your old house is still around. You can help us burn it down, with the rest of this pony crap!”

Starlight hesitated. “Well, that time I dreamed I transformed into a dragon matriarch and ruled for thousands of years *was* pretty cool…”

(No!) whispered the voice of Future Alicorn Starlight in her head. (No, no, NO. Don’t even think about it. That doesn’t happen. Didn’t happen. Won’t have happened… you know what I mean!)

(But…)

(Can you say major paradox? Total protonic reverse? Causality itself in a blender set to puree?)

Starlight sighed, huffing. “Party pooper…”

“WHAT did you call me?!” roared Party Favor.

“Eep!” Starlight released a blinding flash from her horn, before galloping for the hills. “Sorry, gotta run! I’ll fix this!” She sighed, looking back. “Somehow...”

Session 104.3 Alex Warlorn

"Hi Silver Spoon," the now dragonified Diamond Tiara said. "Wanna get in on the ground floor of being upgraded to the better species?"

Silver Spoon rolled her eyes. "Oh please Diamond Tiara, just because we made up doesn't mean I'm still your little yes-pony, and I'm certainly not going to be your little yes-dragon!"

"You can beat me up when I get on your nerves and I'll never complain."

-Five Minutes Later-

"So how do you feel?" Diamond Tiara asked with a toothy grin.

"... I'm guessing this is what you feel like all the time," the now silver dragon said. "No wonder you get so drunk on it!" Silver Spoon laughed.

Apple Bloom dragged herself to school, often with a sweat. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw those five sets of eyes in the dark, whispering to her, telling her to join her friends, to join her beloved teacher and classmates, to accept the inevitable, and embrace her family's legacy.

But meanwhile when trying to send messages about joining her friends and classmates in Dragonhood to Sweetie Belle, Tiamat was annoyed when she got a flashing signal that read,
"This pony has fallen under the divine protection of a god of Equestria, please check your network ID and send a request to join this server."

"It seems when you got your talon in the door with Shining Armor, Cadence told the young godling how to avoid a similar happenstance with his other half," Bahamut observed.

"Pst!" Went one of Tiamat's heads, another gave him a glare. "I'm still winning! My new dragons have reached self-propagation at this point! ..." Then another head whispered protectively, "And Celestia will now know better than to meddle with my precious babies unless she wants the same."

"What was that dear?"

"NOTHING!" "NOTHING!" "NOTHING!" "NOTHING!" "NOTHING!" Her heads said slightly out of synch with themselves.

Then her center head changed the subject.

"I wonder how the power of the crystal heart will interact with those con-ponies' potions... it is a shame, they'd have made ideal dragons... Crystal ponies lining up to become like their Hero Spike The Great... crystal dragons... "

"Given how the crystal heart is powered by the joy of living, friendship, love, happiness, kindness, and all those things... maybe the feedback will affect you too."

"... Don't be absurd," said her left most head.

-

Mane Allgood, still in bandages from losing, badly, her epic Custody Battle for Scootaloo (as was proud Pegasi tradition) to a rainbow dragon, snarled, "I just want to say... none of this would have happened... IF YOU HAD TAUGHT MY DAUGHTER YOUR TECHNIQUE FOR FLYING!"

Bulk Biceps answered meekly, "She never asked."

-

"I really hate too say it," Smolder admitted. "But this place is beginning to feel a lot more like home."

"Good for you smolder," Gallus said. "But the way these dragons are all looking at me is beginning to creep me out."

Smolder shrugged. "Meh, they just haven't learned how to not eat out of the claw of everything Tiamat says in their heads. I've had to deal with her in my head since I was hatched, it's so normal we don't even talk about it. They'll adjust eventually."

Sandbar said, "Well... beside the fact that a buncha venerable ponies being influenced by a goddess of avarice, no offense-"

"Are you kidding? It's part of her official portfolio!"

"Boreas REALLY wants that one for himself!" Gallus said.

Sandbar continued, "Well, at this rate, we're gonna end up assimilated, and that's gonna really mess up our whole style of being an multi-ethnic group!"

"Yeah that'll totally ruin our merchandise appeal!" Gallus said. His friends looked at him. "What? We saved Equestria, that legally gives us merchandising rights!"

"I could teach you guys how to keep Tiamat from completely messing with your heads," Smolder said. "If any of you are interested," Smolder looked at Gallus.

"Talk to me when you want to try out being a griffin again!"

"Spoiled sport."

-

"I'm SORRY! But there ARE NO LAWS about transformation potions! They were so rare that nobody thought to EVER put down laws for them before! I'm sorry! The Equestrian Parliament is in discussion on passing control laws regarding it! Ugh!"

Princess Twilight sighed, angry parents at seeing their foals coming home having turned into baby dragons... Diamond Tiara was always charismatic when she wanted to be... Her learning not to rub her privilege in others' faces and not wearing it like a flag had made her MORE effective.

A portal finally opened...

"Uh, Twilight, I'm back with Discord." Fluttershy said, pulling Discord along. Her mane looked longer.

"It's about time! What took so long?! Oh sorry! Sorry! But things have been so stressful!"

"... It's okay... so I got Discord promising to help with the mess he helped cause..."

"This isn't really a prank anymore," Discord admitted. "I never expected Tiamat to hijack my game and turn it into a scheme of hers."

"Well, once again, one of your fun and games has spiraled out of YOUR control-"

"And in a way I don't find very entertaining... I mean, you ponies are WAY MORE FUN than dragons, no offense to Spike of course, but-"

"... Are those wedding rings?" Twilight asked paling.

"Oh no," Fluttershy said blushing. "Engagement rings... Discord and I... well, it took six months to convince him to come along... I... I saw a lot of interesting universes and planes of existence Twilight..."

Twilight remembered the 'thank you' note from Discord and Fluttershy's future foal... And groaned. "Fine! Discord! Snap your fingers and fix this!"

"... I can't."

"DISCORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"I'm serious!" Which itself should have been an alarm. "You made me promise not to meddling with legitimately recognized deities after that prank I pulled on Sun-Butt, I mean Celly, I mean the second hottest mare I've dated, Ugh! ... I mean Celestia."

Twilight's brain threatened to break.

"... Discord wanted us to marry right away... but I told him that it wouldn't be right for our friends not to be there, and it would be rude to pull them out of time and space instead of formally inviting them..."

--

Klugetown. Casonetto's Carillon. The inside of the shop made no sense with the outside, the angles would have broken lesser ponies' minds. For Cozy Glow, Ira, and Mean Twilight, they were (barely) able to simply accept the twisted angles that broke their conceptions of how reality worked.

The ominous dark blob behind the counter said, "Nice doing business with you Miss," he said to what looked like an evil version of Minuette!

"Please, call me The Mistress," 'Minuette' said before walking out.

"Hiii Mister!" Cozy Glow said, "I heard you got this neat book that we're REEEEALLLY be interested in seeing!"

"... Hello Princess Ira. You brought the back-up Anti-Princess with you?"

"BACK UP?!" Cozy Glow snarled.

"I heard through the grapevine that the intended Anti-Princess got corrupted to the side of good." Somewhere, draconic Diamond Tiara sneezed. "So the back-up Anti-Princess was awakened from her sweet innocent life."

"I am the one destined to rule Ponykind with an Iron Hoof and no one else," Cozy Glow hissed. "And I'll make mama and papa so proud!" Cozy Glow said with stars in her eyes. An undead Diamond Jackal Queen and a eldritch horror in a dark cloak somewhere sneezed.

"Of course, of course, I apologize Mi'Lady, Princess of the Burning Void," the dark mass of ... SOMETHING bowed.

Ira said, "We're not making the same mistake Chrysalis made, we're going to know HOW to use our new toy... I trust you can help?"

"Of course Princess, of course. I look forward to when the Umbrum are again lords of the frozen north and I can open up a new shop there. Should be good for business."

Ira and Cozy Glow had already agreed that the Umbrum would get the Chrystal Empire. King Sombra would be pleased. The Storm King would get back his old territories. And Tirek could harvest it all for all the magic it was worth, and Chrysalis could chow down on all the love there and make her own personal war with the symbiotic changelings with her new brood.

Mean Twilight was regarded with the respect and decency of a wagon wheel... Which means she was totally ignored as she read over the fillies' shoulder as they read on the secrets of wielding artifacts of dangerous power that were attuned to a particular individual.

'Wish I knew all this BEFORE that evil tree murdered me and my friends,' Mean Twilight thought. 'We WILL Have our revenge! On you villains for making us, and for Equestria for rejecting us!'

Session 104.4 Alex Warlorn

"THOSE JERKS!" Spike snarled ripping up a piece of paper.

"What happened?" Mina the pegasus asked. The pair having made a stop in Cloudsdale before getting back to Ponyville with Bahamut's staff.

"All of those the ponies who turned into dragons?! They've got contracts now to sell their molts!"

"That's horrible!"

"Yeah! THey're gonna flood the market! It was bad enough when Smolder and Garble ruined my monopoly!"

"HUH?! But a dragon's molt is personal and private! You don't just sell it off!"

"... I've done it most of my life... it's no different than ponies selling their hair..."

"PONIES DO THAT?!" Mina asked feeling a bit dizzy and disoriented. Yes... it was what ponies did... so there was nothing wrong with it... was there? No... no of course not. Everything was fine. Everywhere was harmonious. Everything was happy. "Oh, right, of course, sorry for being rude Spike."

Spike blinked. "Uh... okay."

Session 104.5 Alex Warlorn

Inside Princess Twilight's Friendship Dungeon, the Friendship Cabal was meeting yet again.

Future Alicorn Starlight asked, "So you can guess what comes next."

Daring Do, "When Ahuizotl's brainwashing breaks, and he's the one that reverts to type."

Future Alicorn Starlight nodded, "Don't worry, you kick his flank."

Daring Do said, "I never had that in doubt. He's immortal, so I never have to hold back."

--

"Mina! Mina where are you?!" Spike called, having lost track of her after they'd landed in a crowd of unicorns.

"Oh, hi Spike!" Waved a brown pegasus.

"Mina! What happened to you?"

"I ran into this very nice pony named Neighsay... he was really interested in a dragon that wanted experience life as a pony after being so disappointed at so many ponies wanting to be turned into scaly brutes under the way of a violent avaricious goddess. You know it's funny... I never NOT had Tiamat or Bahamut in my head before... it felt lonely at first... but now... it's kinda liberating... is this what it's like for ponies all the time?" Mina said with a slightly demented look on her eye. "And he even showed me this new board game! 'From The Makers Of Save The Changeling, Kill Chrysalis, now Save the Dragon, Kill Tiamat.' "

" . . . I'm gonna have to get Neighsay some extra therapy."

"But everything he said made so much sense..."

"And that makes me double worried FOR YOU!"

"But I feel so happy! Like... like... liiike I coooooold siiiiiiiing!"

Spike took a step back as Mina broke out into a pony Heart Song right in the middle of Canterlot Square...

Session 104.6 Mtangalion

Spike gave Mina a weary half-lidded stare, even as she whirled and danced around him, singing about how wonderful it was to have hooves and give to the needy and love every forest creature. “Mina? This is going to sound weird, considering that we’re trying to stop ponies from turning into dragons… but I think you need to be a dragon again now!”

“But don’t you see?” sang Mina. “I’m finally free! I can just be me!” She raised her family’s staff in one hoof and casually tossed it over her shoulder. “Don’t need that old thing any more!”

“No!” yelped Spike, watching the staff clatter to the ground and roll away… straight towards a sewer grate. “No no no!” He charged on all fours, then sprang with wings flapping to grab the staff in the nick of time. His claws closed around the strangely cold metal…

And the whole world seemed to dissolve into misty blue sky all around the young dragon, leaving him floating before… himself?

“Um, hello?” asked Spike. The strange copy of him spoke as he spoke, waved an arm as he did, even held the same staff. It didn’t take long for Spike to realize he was looking at his reflection. Then the reflection flexed like a funhouse mirror, and as he drew back, understanding dawned.

He’d been looking at his reflection in a *dragon scale*, perfect and polished to a mirror-smooth finish. One dragon scale, among a whole armored chest plated with dragon scales… belonging to a platinum dragon so huge, he could have spanked *Torch* like a hatchling.

“Bahamut,” breathed Spike.

Scaled lips curled into a vast smile, revealing a hint of gleaming fangs. “None other, my child… Heathspike, seventh of that Name.”

“What’s happening to me!?” asked Spike, in a voice that definitely wasn’t the deep and confident O&O Overseer that he wished he could have projected. “How did I get here?!”

Bahamut chuckled mildly… for him, anyway. “You hold the Tidescale Staff, young Heathspike, twin to my Queen’s Bloodstone Scepter. You need not ask Ember… You should remember what it was like to hold it, brief as that was.”

Spike blinked slowly. “Hey, I’m not looking to become another Dragon Lord! This staff belongs to Mina and her family. She should be the one to…”

“They were fine caretakers,” Bahamut interrupted, “but to truly draw upon my power, a dragon must prove himself worthy. Is it time now, I wonder? After so many centuries, shall the world once again know the wisdom of a Dragon Sage?”

Spike groaned. “Are you listening to me? Um, Bahamut? Sir? I’m not sure you’re listening.” Spike waved his arms, still holding the staff in one. “I’m not a prince or some great ruler. I’m just a number one assistant! I’m protecting my friends just fine without a bunch of crazy awesome new powers and…” He trailed off, then facepalmed. “And I’m just proving myself more worthy by being humble, aren’t I?”

The Dragon Father shrugged vast wings. “Pretty much. Now, go. Take the Tidescale Staff and restore the balance. There will be time later to decide whether you shall keep it.”

Spike came to himself again, still on the same Canterlot street, like no time at all had passed. “Mina,” he spoke, quickly catching up to the pegasus and resting a paw on her back. “Mina, never mind all the greed and the politics and stuff. I need you to forget about that for a while and remember everything that’s *good* about being a dragon… a *noble* dragon.”

The staff glowed in Spike’s claws, and Mina blinked, her breath catching. “Sp-spike?”

Session 104.7 Alex Warlorn

Spike thought. 'Dragon sage huh?... Nah! After this whole mess is over, I bet Mina will be perfect for the job! ... Besides, I'm pretty sure it would be a conflict of interest once I accomplish my goal of becoming an immortal Ryujin with Rarity's own goal of becoming a goddess.'

-

Future Alicorn Starlight said, "Less Experienced and Slightly More Neurotic Twilight-"

"I swear if this is about ensuing the spawning of Spike and Rarity's hybrids babies I'll banish you to the sun."

"That's... rather precise."

"I'd have to be BLIND to not see that one coming!"

-

"I never thought I'd ship potions to the Crystal Empire brother of mine!"

"Neither did I brother of mine!"

-

"Attention Crystal Ponies!... How would you like to be like Legendary Hero Spike The Great who save the Crystal Empire from evil and the Equestrian Games from disaster?"

Session 104.8 Alex Warlorn

Mina's pegasus eyes glowed blue, and her body shuddered. "But... but... but... when those sirens forced my desires to the surface, and I greed-growthed into a giant, and fought over you with Ember and Rarity. It was so humiliating, Dragon Towners don't DO greed growth!"

Spike silently admitted that incident had been a lot more fun in his fantasies than it had been in reality.

"Mina, I went greed growth too and kidnapped Rarity. Being Spikezilla was the least fun thing I've ever had as a dragon. YOU WERE THE ONE who taught me that being a dragon WASN'T something to be ashamed of! Now! THINK OF WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A NOBLE DRAGON!"

-

'Think of all the jewels that could be yours, all the filthy diamond dogs being clean and behaving themselves ... of being together with Spike for centuries, not being old while he's still young... ' Sang the five sets of eyes in Rarity's mind.

Rarity happily continued to hum to herself as she did the cosplay costumes for her friends next LARPing.

'Oh come on! You fall to temptation every other week!'

Rarity didn't even dignify her with a response.

-

Meanwhile in the Crystal Empire... one of the crystal ponies, swept up in the idea of trying out being the same species as the great hero Spike, drank the dragon potion... resulting in the world's first crystal dragon... however...

"OW! I feel like Malinalxochitl just stung me in the eye!" Shouted one of Tiamat's heads, putting a claw to her face.

"I told you, remembered what happened when Spike got awashed in the magic of the Crystal Heart? And I needed to get you that glacier for the headache ice pack?" Bahamut said simply.

Session 104.9 Mtangalion

“What it means… to be a noble dragon?” Of course, Mina knew that! Every Dragon Town whelp was taught the Noble Dragon Code. At least, Mina *should* have known it. Nothing was making sense… it was like all these pegasus feathers had gotten stuffed into her head somehow.

And hadn’t she been in Canterlot just a little while ago? How had she come to this rocky volcanic plain, with a blood-red dawn sky, and air full of hot ash that made pony eyes water and lungs burn?

Then a living mountain reared up before her, and five pairs of crimson eyes shone like beacons in the ashen darkness.

Dragon fate

Is clear as day

Dragons are better

In every way

Serpentine necks craned, and the five heads of Dragon Mother Tiamat peered down, looming over her.

“Mina,” spoke the central head. “Daughter. You’ve been kept from me for too long. Embrace my gift. Be what you truly are.”

Mina started to resist, but she was shocked by the depth of the *love* pouring out from Mother Tiamat, fiercely protective and greedy and jealous and so very *proud.* Her pony guise burned away in a flash. Instead, dragon paws and claws stamped down on the ash-covered ground, and she revelled in the furnace-hot air, for her flame was hotter still, and her marvelously comfortable scales were tougher than any flame!

“Be as strong as you want!” roared another of Tiamat’s heads. “Do not let weaklings hold you back!” A third head boomed, “Take whatever you want, and have the strength to claim and make your own!”

Off to one side, a sad little platinum salamander waved a claw officiously, lecturing to the even smaller lizards at his feet. “Blah blah blah, noble dragon code! Blah blah, greed is bad! Blah blah, be weak just like the ponies if you want to make friends!”

Mina roared with laughter at the sad little lizards, crackling with power as she grew and grew, stamping around however she pleased!

“Mina…” said a voice echoing in the back of her head.

Mina paused, feeling conflicting impulses. “Spike?” What was he to her now? A friend… or a handsome male that should belong to *her*, not some pampered pony?

“Mina, stop! Look at what you’re doing!”

Mina glanced down, and immediately cringed, realizing that she’d been trampling all over a vision of *Dragon Town*, like some out of control brat giving in to greed growth.

“Oh, thank goodness,” said Spike. “I thought I lost you for a second there…” She could hear the blush in Spike’s voice. “Sorry, I’m still trying to figure out this staff thing… There.”

And just like that, Mina was her usual dragon self, standing in her old grade-school classroom. She poked at one of the whelp-sized desks, amused, until a softly-cleared throat made her glance up. Then she nearly tripped over the desks and fell, seeing the elder in charge of the class… a dragon about the size of her grandfather, with gleaming *platinum* scales. “Buh buh… Bahamut?!”

The elder nodded, giving her a very dignified chuckle. “Welcome back, daughter. I heard that you were in need of… hmm...” He stroked his chin spikes thoughtfully. “A refresher course.”

“Is that an avatar?” exclaimed Mina, pointing a claw. “How can you be so small?!”

“That is what avatars are for,” said Bahamut patiently. “Alas, my queen has sworn that she will never humble herself so. I think it would do her good, but even I do not command *her*.” He rapped a pointer on the chalkboard. “Now! Please tell the class... What does it mean to be a noble dragon? You do know, yes?”

“Of course I know!” Mina wrung her paws, looking away. “That’s whelpling stuff.”

The elder shook his head. “This is not ‘whelpling stuff.’ This is what you and your classmates learned when you were whelps.” He smiled. “Perhaps it will have greater meaning now?”

Mina sighed, then drew herself up. “There was a whole lot of stuff the elder talked about, but I think the important parts were… A noble dragon can become strong without taking from others.”

Bahamut nodded sagely. “Go on.”

Mina spoke faster, more confidently. “A noble dragon can be kind and generous without being afraid that others might call her weak.”

“And?”

Mina grinned. “And a noble dragon can make right with her heart, not just with might!”

Bahamut reached out and flicked Mina’s forehead with a claw, smiling warmly. “Class dismissed.”

“Mina! Mina, wake up!”

Mina gasped, sucking in a huge deep breath as she sat up. They were in… an alley, near the street where she’d gone a little crazy?

“Spike! What happened? Am I… Eeep!” Mina was mortified to discover she'd reverted back to a dragoness and *grown* while she was passed out. She was as large as Spike… and Spike himself seemed taller and more mature, holding onto the Tidescale Staff as he was. “Greed growth! Spike, quick, you have to punch me!”

But Spike chuckled, putting an arm around her. “Mina, calm down! Do you feel greedy? I don’t. I’m guessing that was… a gift, of sorts. Hey, want to get some jewelry for your new look?” He shrugged, gesturing at the city around them. “We are in Canterlot, after all.”

Mina rolled her eyes. “Maybe later. Right now?” She frowned at the dark clouds hovering over Ponyville on the horizon. “I’m thinking we should fly to meet your friends. They’re probably thinking that we’ve fallen off the face of Equestria by now.”

Session 104.10 Alex Warlorn

Spike and Mina arrived back at Ponyville at last... and their jaws dropping.

"Uh... were there this many dragons in Ponville before?" Mina asked.

"No, definitely not!" Spike said. The two quasi-teenage dragons staring at the sight.

"THIS IS NOT EQUAL! THIS IS NOT EQUAL!" Shouted the Flower Trio, in their full Equalist get-ups. They stood on soap boxes holding signs to the increasing population of dragon. "Brother Rumble how could you betray us!"

"I'm just exploring other paths," the dragon whelp Rumble said.

"Don't be led astray from Princess Luna's true path!" Pipsqueak shouted wearing his adorable little blue Luna's Witnesses cloak.

At the dragon potion stand, Lyra The New Dragon wiggled her claws, "I HAVE CLAWS AT LAST!"

Bon Bon sighed, "I'm surprised honestly it took this long for her to crack."

"Care to join me my love?"

Bon looked to see dragons on her left, and turned to see dragons on her right... And sighed. "When this nonsense is over, I know I'll regret not having tried it. Bring it on."

"But I already kicked the habit!" Berry Punch defended.

"But this way you'll be able to drink more hard cider than you've drunk in your entire life and not get drunk..." The dragoness Cheerilee tempted her sister.

Apple Bloom shouted running about and looking around, "Anyone seen Babs?"

Babs the dragon whelp shouted, "Praise be to Tiamat!"

Dragon Diamond Tiara put a claw on her Babs' shoulder, "I knew you'd come to your senses sooner or later. Welcome back to the winning team!" Then hugged her crying. "... I missed us being friends so much!"

Twist The dragon whelp sang, "Praise be to Tiamat, look mom, no wisp! Wanna be friends again Apple Bloom? Just turn into your true self!"

-

Twilight looked at the letter. "Well... the dragon potion has reached Canterlot... Jetset and Uppercrust said they can now enjoy their wealth for thousands of years, and they're the new hot thing. And you know what that means for their trend-brained elites."

A diamond wolf... took off her diamond wolf costume, revealing the dragon underneath. "Dragons rule!"

"Neighsay I think is hiding under his desk," Rarity said.

"The number of dragons in the student body is steadily rising," Starlight admitted. "This has gotten completely out of control!"

"HAS gotten? It's BEEN out of control for too long already! Spike! Mina! Where are you?!"

"The door to the meeting room got kicked open... in stepped Mina and Spike.

"... Got caught in an alternate universe where time flows different?" Twilight asked.

"Actually no, Bahamut thought the other dragons would take us more seriously like this."

"THANK GOODNESS!" Twilight said.

Starlight said, "Oh, and Spike... the crystal dragons converts up north say they want to hold a festival in your honor."

"THE WHAT?!" Spike gasped.

-

"Ugh. No more crystal dragons..." Tiamat said her head pounding, one of her heads wearing a glacier sized ice pack, the magic of the crystal heart stabbing at her brains like an ice-pick.

"What? I thought for a true dragon there was no such thing as 'too much'?" Bahamut teased.

"You know that's a oversimplification," her farthest left head said.

"You know if you delay facing Prince Button Mash for too long, they'll think you're ignoring his challenge, insulting the Alicorns."

"I know I know..." Tiamat's heads moaned.

Session 104.11 Alex Warlorn

"Hey girls! Did you have lots of fun?! Can I join next time in your evil plans?! I'd love to be part of your evil plans!" Exclaimed Chrysalis' eldest daughter, infamous for biting off than she could chew, having all of her mother's arrogance and little of her cunning ... And had never had a chance to interact with girls' her age before who weren't food or servants...

Ira and Cozy Glow looked with weariness at their new tag along... The book on how to bend Grogar's Bell to their own will still safely hidden.

"I loaned you my slave! You two can entertain my little girl!" Chrysalis hissed.

The two gulped and nodded. Queen Rabia of the Umbrum gave Chrysalis the stink eye for ordering Ira's own child around.

Grogar meanwhile, saw the discontent and burning hatred at her masters in the eyes of Mean Twilight, and stroked his beard.

-

"DIDN'T THE OLD BOSS SAY THIS THING WAS A DEATH TRAP AND THAT'S WHY YOU NEVER FLEW IT AND WHY IT WAS NEVER PUT INTO PRODUCTION?!" Grubber exclaimed.

"This whole air-fortress is going to be a death trap for us once they realize we've broken out! Get in and let's go!"

-

Captain Calypso of the parrot privateers (well, there wasn't really any empire to privateer now... so they were kinda in a spot with no one to pirate again who they could retreat and have safe ports with) ... were once again engaged in being trade curriers and escorts for convoys from Weather Gremlins... and spotting a flaming comet crash into the ground.

'This better not be of those evil alien comets that turns us all into zombie slaves, those are so overdone!' She thought as her ship closed in to inspect the impact... finding the flaming mess of a one pony air ship... and Tempest Shadow and Grubber limping from the wreck.

"GET US TO PRINCESS TWILIGHT SPARKLE NOW!" Tempest Shadow boomed the moment she saw the pirates.

-

"So Button's done WHAT?!" Spike exclaimed.

"He's challenged Tiamat to a Ogres and Oubliettes game... with no stakes or prizes... his scheme us to get those turned into dragons to remember how to have fun without following Tiamat's 'want, take, have' doctrine and remember being a pony isn't that bad... Oh, and Fluttershy is apparently engaged to Discord now... I've used up the hard cider, and I wouldn't let you have any anyway."

"HEY! I have wings! That makes me a legal adult in the Dragonlands!" Spike protested.

Session 104.12 Mtangalion

Smolder huffed out a large smoke ring, then tried to amuse herself by spitting tiny missiles of flame through it. Most of her shots missed, though, turning the ring into drifting tatters. “Well, this bites…”

Gallus flicked another pebble into the big lake in front of the School of Friendship. They didn’t have much else to do, since the flood of new dragons had completely upended normal life in Ponyville, and their class schedules. “What? I thought you’d be happy.”

Smolder snorted. “Do I look happy?”

Nearby, Yona was stomping out a miniature patrol route, pacing in a square and pausing at every turn to suspiciously glare left and right.

In the center of this, Sandbar blushed deeply. “Yona, I don’t think you need to do that. It’s not like some dragon fanatics are going to *sneak up* and toss a potion at me! Dragons don’t do subtle.”

“Got that right,” muttered Smolder.

“Yona won’t take chance!” declared the young yak. “Yona will protect her ponyfriend!” She hesitated. “Unless… Sandbar *wants* to be dragon…”

Sandbar chuckled and hugged her, as far as his hooves would reach. “Nah. Believe it or not, I’m happy the way I am right now.”

Gallus mimed putting a claw down his throat, but there was a big grin on his beak all the same. “Ponyville might be going crazier than Griffonstone on Grudge Day, but at least we can still stick together… Whoa! Ocellus?!”

A young dragoness wiggled her claws in a sheepish wave. With pastel blue scales, pink fins, and rose-colored belly scales, her identity wasn’t much of a mystery. “Oh, um… hi!” squeaked Ocellus. “I was practicing!” Blue flames swept over the changeling, restoring her usual appearance. “You know, just in case!”

“Aw, I thought you looked pretty cute,” said Silverstream, shocking the others yet again, since she was in the lake, transformed into a young sea dragon.

“Aw, not you too!” exclaimed Sandbar. He blinked, hearing approaching wingbeats. “Huh? Oh!”

The dragon approaching them wasn’t yet another transformed new dragon… it was Ember herself, with Garble hovering at her side. “There you are,” said Ember gruffly, quickly zeroing in on Smolder. “Look, you might want to stick close to me. There’s some major stuff going down soon, and…”

Smolder’s eyes narrowed to blazing slits, catching her friends off guard. “Dragon Lord Ember!” she shouted, claws squeezed into fists. “Where have you been? What are you doing to fix all of this?!”

Ember’s jaw dropped. “I… I beg your pardon!?”

Garble’s cocky grin was gone in an instant. “Uh.... sis? What are you doing?”

Smolder stamped a foot. “All these new dragons don’t know anything about how to be dragons, not really! They’re acting out the worst pony stereotypes of what dragons are like!”

Smolder’s rant seemed to run out of steam a bit, as she remembered who exactly she was ranting at, and that Ember could control her every action with the scepter in her claws, if she wanted. “Look, things are getting way out of claw, and the ponies, they’re not gonna all turn into dragons without a fight, and that’s really not how I want all this to end…” She glanced left and right, and her friends gathered close around her. “Not after all the time we spent learning to work together.”

Ember grimaced, her grip on the Bloodstone Scepter tightening. “What, so us dragons should give up what we’ve taken? Decide we don’t want part of our hoard anymore? Some of what you said… You’re not wrong, but I don’t know if Tiamat’s gonna go for that.” Ember took a deep breath. “Mother Tiamat has been challenged. She’s gonna get involved in this personally, so just watch yourself, okay?”

She motioned to Garble, and they flew away without another word.

Gallus’ beak was still hanging open. “Did you just stand up for us, to the leader of all dragons? Heh, maybe there’s something to this Friendship business after all...”

As they flew back towards the Friendship Castle, Garble folded his arms, sighing. “To be honest? I’m not really digging this dragons everywhere stuff either.”

Ember nearly fell out of the sky. “What… even you, Garble?”

Garble shrugged. “Hey, it’s fun knowing I’m totally superior to every other creature in the room. If all the pathetic ponies turn into dragons, who do we look down on then?”

Ember smirked. “Let’s just meet this Alicorn of Games and get it over with.”

Session 104.13 Alex Warlorn

Dragon Applejack said, "Why ya girls saying this ain't equal? No cutie marks, everyone havin' the same edge, rounds equal to me!"

"BUT THIS ISN'T TRUE FRIENDSHIP!" Rose declared, she and her friends still in her Equalist robes.

"Weren't equalists declared an illegal organization or somethin'?"

Lily said, "Actually, because Miss Starlight's first flock all spontaneously abandoned her on the spot (marking them all as unbelievers)... kinda like how all the changelings spontaneous turned on Chrysalis suddenly after a ten second speech... no pony ever bothered to declare us illegal, enabling us to spread the word against our classist and caste system society!"

Future Alicorn Starlight teleported right in front of them. "I am only here because I was here. When I founded Our Town had no clue what equality actually was, how it actually worked, or the right way to achieve it. I ascended when I realized what Equality truly was."

Session 104.14 Mtangalion

On the path leading to the Friendship Castle, two young dragons stood, gaping upwards at the towering crystal structure. “Oh, Mac,” breathed Cheerilee. “I always thought Princess Twilight’s castle was an eyesore before, but now it looks so…”

“Delicious,” purred Big Mac. A few drops of his drool landed on the paving stones, dissolving holes in them. “Ah could just eat it all up!” He blinked. “Enope! We can’t do that.”

They were startled by mocking laughter, as another group of dragons landed, taking up the whole path like they owned it “Can’t?” said Fume, doing a poor imitation of Big Mac’s accent. “Uh, hello? We’re dragons here!”

Clump pushed in front of Fume and Fizzle, grinning toothily. “We do what we want! I say we’ve played nice long enough! You want a crystal castle snack? Take it!”

Sludge landed last, panting from the exertion of flight... and frowning at the others. “Um, can we not? I practically had those ponies giving me everything I wanted already. Why go to all the trouble of taking?”

Fume got right in Sludge’s face. “Dude, are you for real? Where’s your pride as a dragon? We’re eating that castle, now!” He stomped towards the front door… and ran his muzzle right into a rippling force field. “What the slag?”

A gray-coated unicorn stallion emerged from the castle, wearing purple armor with a familiar starburst sigil, and approaching the dragons with a distinctly military step. “I’ve heard enough! You miscreants are banned from the Friendship Castle, until such time as I’m convinced that you’re prepared to be civil once more.”

Fizzle gasped. “Oh crap! It’s…” He blinked. “Uh… Who are you?”

The stallion scowled. “You cannot be serious. Equal Libram? Captain of Princess Twilight Sparkle’s own Twilight Guard?” He only got blank looks and stares back from the dragons. “Leader of the creatures who tirelessly defend Ponyville, so the Princess and her friends can teach classes… and lead field trips, and go on Friendship Missions, and whatever else it is exactly that they do...”

Big Macintosh blushed. “Er… Sorry? Still doesn’t ring a bell.”

Captain Libram sighed, rolling his eyes. “Of course. Do you ever think that perhaps we’re a little too good at our jobs, eh, Gabriel?”

“Gabriel?” echoed Cheerilee.

There was a swoosh of feathered wings, and a heavy thump from behind, which caused all of the dragons to look over their shoulders… then back up in a hurry, gaping at the biggest griffon they’d ever seen, also wearing Twilight Guard colors. “I’m as good as I need to be,” said Gabriel, in a deep, gravelly voice. Then he slowly grinned, as if *daring* them to try something.

Fume blinked first. “I- I’m not afraid of some overgrown kitty-bird!”

Gabriel grinned a notch wider, smacking a heavy clawed fist into a palm. “I like dragons. They’re tough.” He leaned closer to Fume. “I don’t have to hold back as much.”

Fume opened his mouth to deliver a seething retort... then abruptly spun on his heel and walked *away*. “I could totally take you, but I’ve decided to let you off easy! For now!”

Big Mac and Cheerilee watched the other dragons leave, dumbfounded. “Ah don’t get it. They didn’t try anything, not a one of them?”

Equal Libram trotted closer, seeming amused. “Dragons who grow up in the Dragon Lands know better than to start a fight when they’re not sure they can win. Do you new dragons have as much sense?”

Big Mac gulped. “Well, Ah don’t know about a fight, but… a friendly wrestling match, maybe?”

The huge griffon warrior grinned broadly indeed.

“Me and mah big mouth!”

Session 104.15 Ardashir

Dragonjack raced away from the center of Ponyville -- soon to be renamed 'Dragonville' if she and the other upgraded ponies had anything to say about it -- with Apple Bloom galloping at her heels. Muscles worked under her scales, claws digging chunks from the newly paved road, the furnace in her belly pouring more strength into her as she ran. Dragons stared and ponies scattered.

"Apple Bloom!" She gasped out as she raced for the Friendship Palace. A forked tongue ran over her lips as she realized how delicious the place looked; why had she never noticed before? "Ya sure what ya saw? Ya ain't fibbing ta me?"

"Yeah, big sis!" Bloom's little pony legs took two steps to every one of Applejack's. She panted for breath. "Ah saw -- that big griffon o' Miss Twilight's -- fightin' with Big Mac! An' he was winnin'!" In an angrier tone: "An' ya never called me a fibber afore ya turned into some nasty ol' lizard!"

Bloom skidded to a stop as Applejack wheeled on her. Razor fangs gleamed as her sister snarled.

"Don't call ME no lizard, little pony! Don't ya never forget that!" The Friendship Palace stood before them. "Now show me where ya say some catbird was beatin' on Big Mac, the strongest dragon in Ponyville?"

Before she could say anything else, they both heard an almost-familiar howl, coupled with the victorious screech of a griffon.

"So! Ya wanna give up, ya walkin' suitcase?"

"OW! Yeah, griffon, Ah do already! Now let me go, darn ya!"

Applejack ran to the point where the noise was coming from. Dragon-Cheerilee stood there, watching in open-maw shock. Applejack was about to ask her what was wrong when she saw for herself. And froze.

Big Mac, her unbeatable big brother, the strongest pony -- dragon! -- she'd ever known, was on his belly in the dirt. Wings outstretched and flapping wildly, whipping up the same dirt he ripped at with one claw, while his other arm was stretched up behind his back in a classic, and painful, wrestling grip. Equal Libram apparently served as referee, watching as Big Mac slapped his free claw against the ground in submission.

"Like I told you, dweeb," Gabriel said as he stepped clear, releasing Big Mac, "strength itself counts for nothing when ya can't get leverage."

Big Mac glared up at the cocky catbird. The thought suddenly occurred to him as five angry pairs of eyes gleamed in his mind: He could kill this vermin with a single puff of fire. Set him ablaze for shaming him before mate and family, roar hugely with laughter as he died screeching, then invite them to feast on his flesh --

No. Wait. He beat me fair an' square. This, this ain't me.

What's wrong with me?

Cheerilee looked on in confusion. Part of her felt, not dismay over seeing Mac lose, but scorn. Her mate had failed her. In public, no less. He was a flawed gem, a false treasure, not worth having. The voice belonging to those five paired eyes in her head hissed their rage and contempt. She ought to slap him with her tail to show her refusal of this weakling and find a better mate --

No! She shook her head in horror. I love Big Mac. I don't want to thrown him away like, like some broken gemstone! She ignored the chorus of five draconic voices telling her to leave him. This isn't me!

Applejack never felt more torn in her life.

Part of her wanted to tear the mocking Griffon apart. Part of her wanted to tear Big Mac's wings off for disgracing the family like this. The voices in her soul approved of both those ideas.

And the smallest voice of all told her that this was her brother, that he'd lost in a fair contest, and that she'd love him and Apple Bloom even if they weren't the strongest dragons ever. That maybe, just maybe, she'd love them more if all they all stopped being dragons and just went back to being ponies.

She and Cheerilee stepped up to Big Mac. He turned an angry glare from the wary Gabriel and Libram to them. All three looked at the exhausted and terrified Apple Bloom. Terrified of them. Of being hurt or worse. By them. Her own family.

"Oh, Bloom," Applejack held her scaly arm out to her. "Little sis, ah'm sorry for every durned thing we done --"

A roar, five roars, louder and more piercing than a lightning bolt striking the ground right in front of your face, tore through Ponyville.

"I AM TIAMAT! GODDESS QUEEN OF DRAGONKIND! THE FIVE-IN-ONE, TRUE ESSENCE OF ALL DRAGONS!" They turned to look as one as a living mountain of scales and fire and fury, more massive than even Dragon Lord Torch, descended from the sky above Ponyville. Clouds were pushed aside or simply vaporized as she flew, sending rain cascading down her scaly sides. Looking at her length gave them the idea that she extended on forever. Ponies and dragons scattered as she landed on the ground, sending a shockwave through Ponyville and into the Everfree. The Friendship Palace groaned and shook to its roots. "I AM SHE WHO MADE WAR WITH THE PRIMAL GODS! WHO GAVE DRAGONS BLOOD OF FIRE AND POISON! SHE WHO SET UPON THEM MANTLES OF BURNING RADIANCE! THE BRINGER-OF-DESTRUCTION AND CREATOR-OF-WORLDS!" Five huge and terrible heads, their eyes glowing in a way every Ponyville new whelp instinctively knew, looked down around at her feet, themselves as massive as fortresses. "NOW WHERE IS THIS ALICORN WHELP WHO SEEKS HIS OWN DESTRUCTION BY CHALLENGING ME?"

Barely audible the answer came to them on the wind as the echoes of Tiamat's roar died away. "Right here I am! Ma'am."

Tiamat laughed short and fierce, and her amusement crashed down on eyerycreature like an eruption. "WELL THEN WHELP LET US SETTLE THIS. BUT FIRST? HATCHLINGS!" Apple Bloom cried out as she saw her big brother and big sister and Miss Cheerilee rise and stiffen, their eyes glowing crimson and gold. "COME TO ME, MY PRECIOUS TREASURES, MY HOARD WITHOUT EQUAL, AND GLORY IN THE VICTORY OF YOUR MOTHER!"

And like that every transformed pony in Ponyville flew to celebrate at the feet of Tiamat. They noticed nothing else.

Least of all a little Earth pony filly sobbing like her heart broke in pieces.

Session 104.16 Alex Warlorn for Jarkes

"So... Double Diamond, why aren't you challenging Sunburst to prove your worth as Starlight's mate?" Asked Nightglider, now a dragon like the rest of Our Town, quick to paint a five-eyed symbol on their hips in place of their cutie marks (the more things change). "Or maybe share like Sugar Belle, Cheerilee, and Mable Pie are now?"

"Dragons don't rob other dragons of their hoards."

"But they aren't dragons."

"Starlight fought a goddess on equal hoof to a stalemate. If she isn't as strong as one, I don't know what is."

"But it's Sunburst I ask about you proving your worth as a mate!"

Future Alicorn Starlight teleported in front of them, making their draconic jaws drop. "Don't bother, I already have a filly with Sunburst. And if I was powerful enough to fight Twilight as an equal before, how powerful do you think I am now? The blood of Queen Majesty flowed through me even before my ascension. I'm just here to make sure Discord's stupid antics with the Apple Family and time and space don't completely upend reality."

Session 104.17 Mtangalion

In a park halfway across Ponyville, Mina gaped upwards at the beyond majestic view of Queen Tiamat looming over half of Ponyville. Mina trembled and even whimpered a bit, but she was standing on her own two feet. “How are my legs not turning to jelly now? Why aren’t I throwing myself on the ground and begging forgiveness for even *thinking* I could go against Tiamat?!” Mina blinked, glancing at Spike. “Did you use the staff on me again?”

Spike beamed, twisting the Tidescale Staff in his claws. “I didn’t need to. I think the staff is trying to tell me…” His brow furrowed for a moment. “... that your link to Bahamut has gotten stronger! Remember, Tiamat might seem like she’s totally dominant over everything right now, but Bahamut has always been her equal!”

“Yeah…” Mina took a deep breath. “Yeah! Let’s hurry over there. They’ll be expecting us!”

“Holy…” Garble whistled softly, craning his neck to gawk at Tiamat. “Heh, showoff…” He snacked on one of the gems they’d harvested from that cave, before they abandoned that plan to get away from Maud Pie glaring at them. “Why couldn’t I have been all ginormous like that?”

Dragon Lord Ember arched a brow ridge. “You, a ryujin?” Had it been any other dragon, she probably would have thrashed him for the casual blasphemy, but instead she laughed, elbowing Garble. “What would you even be god of?”

Garble twirled an imaginary beret and mimed playing his bongos. “I’d be the god of awesome sick beats, yo!”

Ember smirked. “Or maybe you’d be the god of hugging creatures and running away without explaining why.”

“Hey, hey!” protested Garble. “Ugh, I thought we agreed to never speak of that again!”

“I don’t remember agreeing to anything. Are you contradicting your Dragon Lord?!” Ember chuckled and shook her head, quickly turning more serious. “Come on, She’s calling for us.”

With all the chaos in the streets, dragons rushing towards the castle and ponies stampeding *away*, perhaps it was inevitable that both parties would come charging around blind corners and crash right into each other.

Ember recovered the quickest, groaning. “Watch where you’re… You!” She sprang to her feet and hissed at Mina, wings spread.

Mina grinned. “Is this where I call you a tyrant and you call me rebel scum… your dragon lordship-fullness?”

Garble sat up, right in the way of the dramatic confrontation, of course. “Did anydragon get the number of that… Spike!?” His eyes bugged out, seeing his rival/dragon pal/still not calling him my friend Spike, grown as big and muscular as himself, and carrying a very shiny staff besides. “You got another ancient dragon relic?! That is so not fair!”

“Uh, hey Garble!” said Spike sheepishly, waving a claw.

“That’s Spike?!” exclaimed Ember, eyes wide. Her gaze seemed sharply drawn to the Tidescale Staff, and she shuddered, clutching a claw to her stomach. “I don’t know what that staff thingy is… but I don’t like it!”

Author's Note

Session 104.0 Alex Warlorn
Session 104.1 Ardashir
Session 104.2 Mtangalion
Session 104.3 Alex Warlorn
Session 104.4 Alex Warlorn
Session 104.5 Alex Warlorn
Session 104.6 Mtangalion
Session 104.7 Alex Warlorn
Session 104.8 Alex Warlorn
Session 104.9 Mtangalion
Session 104.10 Alex Warlorn
Session 104.11 Alex Warlorn
Session 104.12 Mtangalion
Session 104.13 Alex Warlorn
Session 104.14 Mtangalion
Session 104.15 Ardashir
Session 104.16 Alex Warlorn for Jarkes
Session 104.17 Mtangalion

Trope Page: (PLEASE update already!)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/PoniesAndDragons

This is a group-story/addventure/chain-story/round robin, fanfic 'story' of the Mane Six Plus Spike playing Dungeons and Dragons/Oubliettes and Ogres, with occasional guest players (like Trixie or Gilda), with Spike and Twilight rotating as Dungeon Master. It's intended to be an IN-CHARACTER comedy.

Each post should be more self contained, if say (in game) Twilight is fire balled by a Mimic in one post in a desert pyramid, the next post can have them sailing a ship encountering seaponies siren expies, each one containing a short joke, or an extension of a previous scene if that's what the poster wants. Time skips, flash backs, the ponies rotating different characters and campaigns, are all allowed (and ENCOURAGED) as long as the ponies stay in character (such as Pinkie Pie NOT fireballing a cabbage sales stallion and saying she thought he was a demon, thank you very much).

P.S. Addendum. No adding entire new fanon countries and/or fanon species.

Pinkie Pie, "And pretty please do not take anything personally! It's just a game!"

Rainbow Dash, "What did you say!?
What's you post in the comments, it's then copy and pasted into the fic above, have fun.
IMPORTANT: WHEN MAKING A SUBMISSION POST IT AS A NEW COMMENT!

Also remember, this is not the pony pov verse, has never been the pony pov verse, will never be the pony pov verse, so please avoid using pony pov verse cosmology and characters please.

Basic grammar:
-Periods go at the end of sentences. (.)
-People and place's names are capitalized.
-Questions end in Questions Marks. (?)
-The word 'I' is capitalized.
-"When characters start or stop talking, use quotations."
-'There' is a place, 'their' is someone's property or trait, 'they're' is short for 'they are.'

Art by by XeviousGreenII, used with permission.

MLP FIM copyright Hasbro.

Cover art by Didj
https://www.deviantart.com/didj/art/My-Little-Mages-Main-Six-287956170