Fertile Ground

“No!” Lily grunted through gritted teeth, pushing back with all her might.

Roseluck pushed the recalcitrant mare forward down the road by her head, the latter leaving four, long ruts in the dirt road. “Lily, you read enough comic books. We are going to do you the biggest favor of your life whether you want it or not!”

“But, I don’t want anypony, I’m fine!” Lily lied, digging her hooves in harder.

“Horseapples!” Roseluck replied irritably, her neck starting to get sore. “I can’t even remember the last time I’ve seen you smile. Nothing helps with that quite like drinking booze and rutting until dawn so that’s what we’re going to do.”

Lily’s pink cheeks turned a deeper hue. “But… but… you can’t go to a filly bar, Rose! That’s just wrong! Wait, what am I saying? I can’t go either! Pleasepleaseplease just let me go home…” Lily whimpered pitifully.

“Just a couple drinks and you are free to go; all I want is for ponies to know you’re in the market, as it were. Like Daisy always says, you can’t do business unless you advertise!” Roseluck stopped to rest, wiping the sweat from her forehead.

“It’s useless Rose, n-nopony back in Hoofington thought I was pretty enough to talk to and no one here will either…” Lily hung her head, staring resolutely at the road as she sniffled.

Rose gaped at her in disbelief. “Lily, that’s nonsense! You’re an absolutely beautiful mare —” Rose’s eyes widened in shock as she realized what she had just said, taking a defensive step back “— no fooler!”

Lily jerked her head back up at the strange expression. “No what?”

Rose took a deep breath. “No fooler: it means, I’m not trying to be a fillyfooler, just being honest with you.” Roseluck smiled awkwardly as she spoke.

Lily turned away from Rose, scowling as she trudged up the road towards the filly bar under her own power. “Thanks… I think.” Nice one, Rose. That wasn't insulting in any way!

“Does this mean you’re walking yourself the rest of the way there, because I’d really appreciate that!” Rose breathed a sigh of relief and trotted up next to her friend working a kink out of her neck as she went.

“Let’s just get this over with, okay?” Lily said miserably, her head and ears bowed as they walked onward to certain doom.

*****

An hour later found the two mares walking home in silence, Rose having apologized a dozen times to no effect.

How was I supposed to know other mares would find ME attractive too? I thought fillyfoolers had a sixth sense for who swings which way!The rose-maned beauty staggered slightly as she walked, having been bought one too many by the gaggle of amorous mares intent on bedding the popular flower vendor leaving Lily all but entirely ignored. Having made it home, Rose gave one last try to break the ice. “The important thing, Lily, is that you tried.”

“Oh, go away!” Lily spat bitterly as she ran inside the flower shop and up to her room, turning her face away to hide her tears.

“Lily, that wasn’t what I was trying to do! It was just...” Rose called after her, her voice trailing off as she realized her roommate could no longer hear her. "Darn it, Lily!" She stomped the dirt furiously before following her into the house at a slow walk. If she would have just talked to the mares at the bar, she could have gotten one of them! she shook her head in disgust at her friend’s reluctance, stopping at her bedroom to grab her brush. Well, fine… at least ONE of us is going to get lucky today! she contented herself with the knowledge that there was still time to get laid herself, wondering idly which direction through town would lead to the quickest and most satisfying sex.

*****

Behind her locked door, Lily Valley lay crying in her bed, her head buried in her pillow, cursing herself as a herd of long-limbed rabbits thundered past beneath her window, pink clouds above starting to release their first sprinkles of a liquid that left odd brown drips down the pane. “Why can’t I stop feeling for her? She doesn’t love me, she’ll NEVER love me!”Lily punched her lily-patterned pillow and sobbed away.

A voice spoke in a horrible, girly simper as if to answer the grief-stricken mare. “But she could, Lily! She could love you as a stallion!”

“Wh-What!?” Lily looked up at the pot of white lilies she kept on her bedstead and beheld a terrible sight: a creature with the head of a goat inside one of the blossoms. The room began to spin, but she did not pass out, much to her surprise. As the room finally began to right itself, the color from her coat began to dull, and her eyes became fixed on the goat's head. “A stallion? Could I become a stallion… for her? I would do anything to get her to notice me...”

The voice spoke once more in a deeper voice etched with playful malice. “I can do soooo many things, little flower pony. And that includes making her do more than just notice you. All you need is just a little something extra to bargain with and some assertiveness training to seal the deal. And as it happens, I’m giving them away for free today!” he snapped his fingers once and Lily felt a very odd magic wash over her, leaving her momentarily dizzy. “Now go on! Your lover is waiting!” The goat gave a sly grin, revealing a single, crooked fang before poofing into nothingness, leaving a very ordinary pink and white lily blossom behind.

Who… who WAS that? Lily’s suddenly clouded thoughts pondered only briefly. And what did he mean…? She got her answer when she felt an odd weight low on her belly, looked down and gasped, finding between her legs a very large half-erect and mottled shaft with a bulging medial ring nearly two-thirds of the way down its length. I’m… I’m a stallion?

Surprised, she reached a leg back to search to explore her nether regions finding her diminutive marehood, and just below it, a huge, heavy, and exquisitely taut pair of brown tufted orbs packed with the seed of life. But that's impossible! part of her tried to protest, but she felt no revulsion or fright, only curiosity… only an increasingly burning desire to explore it…

And use it.

She began to experimentally stroke its rigid length, surprised at the sensations suddenly running through her along with the trickle of liquid out its tip. Reaching the delicate head, she gave it a gentle grasp with her soft inner hoof and squeaked loudly as an electric shock rippled through her, a surge of pleasure that made her shiver. I had no idea they were so sensitive! Climbing down from her bed on four uneasy legs, she looked in her dresser mirror and abruptly realized to her that she’d grown a few inches taller as well. And yet, despite the girthy funnel of stallion meat dangling beneath her belly, she still had the rounded physique of a typical mare.

As she stared at herself in the mirror, she considered the odd creature’s words. She could love you as a stallion… the suddenly stallionhood-equipped mare repeated to herself, the thought bringing a fresh surge of blood into her new organ, now reaching nearly halfway up her belly. Seizing on an odd idea to conceal her newly-acquired appendage, she went to her closet to put on a frilly white dress that hadn't seen use since her high-school days. All in due time, Rose...

*****

Up in her room, Roseluck looked into the bathroom mirror critically, her brush resting on the surface of the sink. She hadn’t minded the mares of Ponyville seeing her in such an unkempt state, but stallion-chasing called for one to look their best.

Shame I have to work tomorrow or I’d have time to pick up a Canterlot guardspony. That leaves me with four options: north to the Post Office... always great sex to be had there! Fit and healthy pegasi and even the occasional bat pony courier. The thestrals will be sleeping though... bummer. They're tapered bathoods feel majestic when they're going up my tailhole! Mpfh!" Roseluck's marehood quivered at the thought. How about east? Lots of roustabouts sure to be working at that new construction site. Definitely my easiest option but I can do better, darn it! I'm not a fifteen-year-old filly anymore. I want an actual challenge!

Casually tossing her red and pink mane to see if she’d gotten all the tangles, Roseluck pronounced her work done and started on her tail. I suppose there's the bar out west. That's definitely a challenge. Definitely a quality over quantity affair. Maybe a little too challenging... and they're going to buy me more alcohol too! I need to think of my poor liver or I won't live to see forty. What about the south? There's always the buckball courts... Celestia, help me, the buckball courts... Roseluck had a vivid flashback and wave of nostalgia recalling her brief time living up north in Detrot with her sister when she's turned eighteen. A cheaper, more easy way to pick up a worthy male on short notice, Roseluck could scarcely imagine.

Fit, healthy stallions getting worked up to a lather and competing over me? I like the way that sounds! Shame there aren't any zebras living in Ponyville yet aside from Zecora. They always make sex so much more interesting than our lot! Her decision made, she stopped the drain on her kitchen sink, dunked her whole head in and turned the knob.

She summoned a stream of lemonade which ran cool and sticky down her scalp for a moment before she caught on.

“What’s happening?” Roseluck called out in bewilderment to no one in particular, the brush slipping off the top of the sink and clattering to the floor.

“For shame, Missy! Do you think nothing of your friend in her time of need?”

Roseluck whirled around to face the source of the masculine voice and into the beady red eyes of the draconequus she’d seen as a filly on an elementary school field trip encased in stone, his horrible face frozen into a confused mask as Luna and Celestia — The original Elements of Harmony — petrified him. Before her panicked mind could even remember its name, the mixed-up creature of goat, chicken, and dragon, spoke again.

“How rude of me not to introduce myself, my little buttercup!” Conjuring up a buttercup in his hand, he offered it to the stunned mare with his chicken’s claw only to have it wilt. “Hmph!” Discord flew the flower away in disgust, which disappeared in a puff of smoke. “I… am Discord, your immortal leader, and lifestyle coach, and I am here to point out your shameful treatment of your dear friend, Lily!”

Roseluck’s head began to swim from the chaotic magicks given off by the strange beast. The color from her mane and coat began to dull, and a freshly rising panic seized her mind that strangely had little to do with the mismatched creature in front of her. “Lily… Valley? What’s wrong with her?”

“Oh, so she does care!” Discord complained to no one in particular, with an irritable gesticulation of his mismatched limb. “Well, you could have fooled me, getting all gussied up for some stallion, while your delicate little marefriend stays back at home, crying for her beloved Rosie.” He finished speaking in a quivering, pathetic voice, his clawed hands clutching the sides of his goat’s head in a passable impression of a certain pink mare. “Ohhh, won’t somepony pleeease think of the Lily?” he struck the same horrified pose Lily often did, standing on his hind legs and putting the back of his paw to the side of his head.

Lily… needs me…? was suddenly all Rose’s clouded mind could think, then she abruptly burst out sobbing at the thought of leaving her alone in her room with nothing but comic books to keep her company. “Lily! Oh, Lily, I’m so selfish!” Roseluck bolted out the door without a second thought, leaving the smirking draconequus behind.

“My chaotic work here is done. Arrivederci!” Discord called out before snapping his fingers, leaving behind a small pile of popcorn on the floor where he'd vanished.