When Twilight Sparkle...

by MidnightEclipsed

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Twilight Sparkle, Comedy
Length: 1400

Short vignettes on the weirdness of Twilight Sparkle.

Short vignettes on the weirdness awesomeness of Twilight Sparkle.

Published 2016-08-03 19:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-08-03 19:20:01 UTC

Is Sleepy

Twilight what's-her-middle-name Sparkle sat outside, having a staring contest with the sun.

No, no, no, not that sun, nopony is stupid enough to do that!

Twilight sat on her porch looking the night sky blue telescope she owned, locking eyes with her mentor, the Princess of the Sun, ruler of Equestria, Princess Celestia.

Princess Celestia glared intensely at her student, muzzle bitten, ears twitching, and a drop of sweat gently gliding down on her head, between her eyes, ready to give up from the amount of drying stacking itself on top of them...

Whist Twilight Sparkle's muzzle formed a smirk, she squinted her eyes, staring directly at the other princess with a look of confidence smeared on her face...

A few ponies watched as the two princess' eyes forever burned inside each other's mind.

Twilight's horn glowed for a few seconds, unleashing a lavender aura that quickly spelled out the words big enough so that the other mare many miles away could make them out,

'You shall not prevail, Celestia!' Twilight emitted, using her magic.

And then, all of sudden, Celestia's eyes started to twitch, obviously possessed by something from Tartarus.

Gasps were heard from the onlookers and Twilight smirk had been quickly carved out even more into a large grin.

Celestia's twitching went on for a few seconds more, until, finally, she used all the strength she had in her body to blink.

An expected amount of boo's and a ginormous quantity amount of cheers could be heard from Ponyville, many, many miles away.

"Woo-Hoo! I accomplished...!" Twilight's grin faded out into a thoughtful frown. What exactly had she accomplished from winning a staring contest? She partially cheated with the flash of captions, anyway. Throwing away the sad thought of wasting five minutes, only to realize she had not only accomplished nothing, but she had screwed up her schedule.

She sighed, her eyes blurred and she had a headache, she looked upon the citizens of Ponyville, as they walked away. Twilight yawned and limped to the crystallized kitchen the magical plant had given her.

Wow, that sentence made me sound mentally retarded. Twilight thought as she continued to walk to her refrigerator with was seemingly endless, as when she and anyone ate out of the cool compartment, the container would magically replenish overnight.

She continued to trot to the kitchen and stopped when she saw Spike, an idea that might help her with her boredom dawned upon her. She rapidly teleported to him, noses touching, eyes close together, both of them feeling each other's breath on their cheeks...

"Spike, I gave birth to me." She said.

"I knew it." He responded slowly as he walked away.

I wasn't supposed to be the confused one! Twilight thought at nonexistent tears streamed down her face.

Yet, she still made a troll face, and with that troll face, she opened the refrigerator, which was conveniently next to the now-gone Spike. She scavenged through the cooled box in a successful attempt to find one of her dearly beloved foods, a daffodil and daisy sandwich. She sat down and thought about life. She pulled out a large device with a screen that was recently invented that was called the iPonyPad. She stared at it for a few moments.

Hmm... I wonder...? Twilight mind trailed off as she opened an app named Lunagle.

"Okay, Lunagle." She said, a screen with a pulsating microphone appeared on the device. Next to it were the letters 'listening for your voice...'. "What is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?" She asked. Another window popped up.

Hmm... 42... Interesting... She thought. And she continued munching on her beloved food. Her mind then drifted off to her too-short-to-be-considered-a-conversation with Spike.

Why is it so hard to confuse someone? I mean, somehow, every single being understands me when I talk science, right?

She sat there for a moment longer and sighed sadly as the food was not her remedy for her headache. She knew at that moment that she could only be cured with one, and one thing only....
A nap.
This would be easy...
If she were Rainbow Dash...

But she wasn't.
She was Twilight Sparkle.
And she was in a story.
So she had to do what the goddamned author told her to do.

All of a sudden, Twilight dropped her sandwich, she felt the muzzle of a pony touch her ear.

Breaking the fourth wall... That's my thing... Twilight heard. She turned around and saw nothing but a hot pink string of hair hanging down be her ear.

"Must've been Fluttershy... She always been the random one... Wait, I think I'm getting my friend's personalities mixed up..." Twilight muttered to herself.

She then directed her mind back the first subject, now, how could Twilight Sparkle be herself and take a nap...?
Create an effective sleeping gas, of course! There was no other possible way! She wiped the remains of her food off the plate and into the trash, she then carefully slid the plate into the dishwasher. She then marched to her basement, with a clear mind that would soon be filled with knowledge about how to put a pony to sleep, with a substance that is a gas.

And then the author became too lazy to finish this so he decided to end the story here.:trollestia:
Nevermind, I can't, yet, because I do not have a minimum of 1000 words... Welp, onwards with the story!

Twilight flipped through many pages in her many books.
Then, she realized...
She could just drink some ~~milk!~~ orphan tears!

"Wait... What?!" Twilight asked rather rudely, horror in her voice.

I am the author. You shall do as I say. Just tell an orphan you've killed their parents that's were coming to get you.

"B-But...!" Twilight began. She then sighed. "You're not going to finish this chapter, unless I do, are you?"

You are very wise. Now, go get your bottle of orphan tears.

"Ugh... Will this matter in the next chapter? Please say no..."

It won't matter, trust me. It won't be fun narrating what you do in jail.

"Fine, you sick maternal-figure intercourse-er!"

Wow, thanks, Toilet Sparkle, now kids can't read this story.

"And that's a bad thing?" Twilight asked with a smirk.

Shouldn't you be stealing the tears on innocent orphans?

"Yeah, yeah, shut up, will ya?" With that said, Twilight trotted towards the Ponyville Orphanage. She stumbled upon a cute, innocent orphan.

I really don't want to do this... But I also don't want to keep going on with the story.

"Why, hello, whatever-your-name-is! I've murdered your parents who were about to come get you!" Twilight said, as her voice trembled.

"That's probably for the best, they are high ranking serial killers, after all." The filly said happily.

"I mean... I've killed your loving friends!" Twilight tried again.

"You've killed the wrong friends, I don't have any." The filly said with a smile.

"I've mauled your teddy bear." Twilight tried, once again.

"Good. I hated him." The filly said with disgust in her voice.

Twilight then thought this one was crazy. As she was about to trot away, she had an idea...

"I've dulled your knife."

"Wha... Wha... Why...?!" The filly bawled many tears, Twilight then quickly created a magically bottle and rested the top on ther filly's chin. All her tears fell into the bottle.

"Nice doing business with you!" Twilight said, as she trotted to her castle, with a smile.

As the went into her bedroom, she spoke. "Okay, I have the orphan tears!"

Why are you telling me?

"You said you needed a bottle of orphan tears..." Twilight said with a yawn.

No, you need to drink the orphan tears to sleep, remember?

"Wha..." She said sleepily.

I'm not going to let you fall asleep, until, you drink.

"But..." She looked at the bottle, then she realized it would put matter in the next chapter.

"You know what...? Fine..." She said groggily, as she chugged the orphan tears. The bottle quickly became empty.

"Yay... Sleeeeeeeeeep..." She said as she passed out on her bed.

Good Twilight... Anyway, that's the chapter!:trollestia:

Author's Note

You will enjoy this story because I said so.
Yeah... This is my second story, I deleted my first because it was horrible.
But, anyway, I might complete this story...
Probably.
Maybe.
Eh, don't count on it.:trollestia: