When Pinkie Does Twilight's Job
“Won’t this be fun?” Pinkie Pie squealed as she bounced around the library.
Gummy sat in the center of the room on the table and simply blinked back at her. If she means that this would be different than the way Twilight would do it, then I would have to agree. However, I can see some flaws in Pinkie’s plans. Let me name them: One, Pinkie might be able to organize parties, but I don’t think she knows the library numbering system. Two, libraries are supposed to be quiet. However, with Pinkie in charge-
“We get the library for one whole weekend!” she squealed with delight, turning cartwheels around the room. “Like, how hard can it be?”
It was early morning in Ponyville, newly crowned Twilight Sparkle paced back and forth in the town library, “Not good! Not good! Not good at all!” In her magic, she held a royal scroll, “I can’t do this! I really can’t do this!”
“Do what Twilight?” Spike asked, descending the stairs of Golden Oaks Library, “And why are you yelling at five in the morning? Look, Celestia isn’t even awake!” He pointed out, his claw pointing to the still dark sky.
“It is only the worst thing!” Twilight said, thrusting the letter in his face. “And she is awake! If she wasn’t awake, she would be unable to send the letter to me, and if she sent it to me, something must be horribly wrong, and I need you! And I can’t leave the library unattended! Cheerilee is having a science fair in one month! The library is going to be invaded! Overrun! Taken over!”
Spike finished reading the short letter, which contained a simple summons for the both of them to come to Canterlot for something important. “Twilight, just ask one of your friends to help. I’m sure they’d be more than willing to take care of it till we get back.”
Twilight paused. “Ask for help! Why didn’t I think of that?” With that, she erupted from the room and into the night.
Spike shook his head. “Twilight! You know they are probably... still asleep?”
Twilight galloped through the night straight to Applejack’s. Out of all of her friends, Twilight was most willing to give the care of the library up to the dependable pony. She rounded on Sweet Apple Acres just as the rooster let out his first crow. Twilight thundered up to the steps and pounded Applejack’s door.
There was hardly a moment’s wait before Applejack threw her window open upstairs. “What’s the matter? Has Discord gone insane again?”
“Oh Applejack, the worst thing has happened!” Twilight said at the same time.
Applejack looked worried. “Discord?”
Twilight shook her head. “Worse!”
“What’s worse than Discord?”
Twilight’s knees started knocking, whether it was from her anxiety attack or from the running, neither mare was quite sure. “A summon to Canterlot!”
Applejack closed her window and a few seconds later appeared at her door trying not to laugh. “Twilight! It ain't as if ya never have been ta Canterlot before!”
Twilight was not derailed. “Applejack, I was summoned with no explanation!”
“I’ve heard that one too, sugarcube,” Applejack said. “So what do ya need?”
“Well, you see, the school is having a science fair!”
“Eeyup!” Applejack mimicked. “Sure is. Ah ain’t sure what Apple Bloom is doin’. She won’t tell me.”
“That’s just it!” Twilight continued to panic. “The foals will be needing to get into the library, and I won’t be there to keep it open with both of us in Canterlot! I need somepony to watch the library while I’m gone.”
Applejack nodded, finally getting a clear picture, though she was still struggling not to show the fact that she was amused by Twilight’s panic over a seemingly pointless matter. But that was Twilight, good ol’ Twilight Sparkle, wings or no wings. “Shoot, ah wish ah could help Twi, but Granny and ah will be cannin’ apples this weekend. So ah fear ah can’t.”
Twilight sighed, “Thanks Applejack, I’ll go ask-” She thought for a moment. “Fluttershy then. Hopefully she’ll be able to help.”
The two said farewell as Twilight departed, and Applejack started in on her morning routine. “Of all the ways ta wake up,” she mumbled to herself.
Fluttershy’s cottage wasn’t that far away, so the journey didn’t take all that long. Twilight got there just as Fluttershy started feeding her birds. After talking it out with Applejack, she felt a tad calmer, though worry still crept on the edge of Twilight’s mind. “Hey Fluttershy!” she called as she drew close.
The poor butter-colored mare lept six feet straight up into a tree. “EEP!” she yelped. “Oh, Twilight, it’s you! Isn’t it-” She looked around. “A little early?”
Twilight nodded. “Hey, you know that science thing going on at the school?” she asked.
Fluttershy nodded. “Of course! Snails actually came by yesterday. He wanted me to help him on a special project concerning whether or not it was good to have snails around.”
Twilight smiled. “Indeed, did you have fun?”
Fluttershy nodded. “He’s a tad foolish, but he’s so sweet with the little creatures of the forest.”
“Well, you see Fluttershy, I’ve got a problem.”
“Did Snails cause more-”
Twilight shook her head. “Snails did nothing. But this is the first weekend on the project, and the foals will be coming by to check out different books on the topics. But Celestia just called me to Canterlot, and if I’m not there, the library will be locked up and the foals won’t be able to get their books.”
Fluttershy gasped in horror. “Oh no! Oh Twilight, what are you going to do?”
Twilight sighed. “I don’t know. I’m hoping one of you guys would be willing to keep it for me.”
“Gee Twilight, I wish I could, but I’ve already promised Snails that we’d go into the forest looking for breeds of gastaphods. That, and Angel needs a bath, and his tail curled again. Then Mr. Bear asked for me to help him settle something with Mrs. Bear. The cubs are driving her nuts and-”
Once more, the alicorn princess sighed. “I understand, Fluttershy. Well, I’ve still got Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie to ask.”
“I wish you luck,” Fluttershy said.
“You too Fluttershy.”
With that, Twilight once more continued on. The smell of something burning is what alerted her to her arrival at the Carousel Boutique. Like the other two, Rarity also had an excuse for not being able to help Twilight with her library. Rainbow did as well. Grudgingly, she turned to the last of her friends for help: Pinkie Pie.
Twilight collapsed into a booth at Sugarcube Corner and sighed. “Heya Twilight!” Pinkie said, appearing as if from nowhere. “What can I get for you today? A cupcake? A muffin? How about a chocolate shake? Or, OH! Hay cakes!”
“How about a chocolate shake and a cupcake?”
“OOOH!” Pinkie squealed. “Going sugary this morning! I’ll have it right out to you.” With that, the random pink mare disappeared once more.
Twilight flicked a little stone back and forth on the table with her magic. What was she going to do? While Pinkie was good at many, many things, she doubted ‘Library Care’ was on that list. Not that she didn’t think Pinkie could handle it. Mostly foals would be coming in, just- Pinkie wasn’t the most orderly or responsible pony of the group. Twilight sighed.
Just then, Pinkie slid in on the other side of the bench, a double order on the tray. “I talked to Mr. Cake, and he said I could have breakfast with you. So Twilight, you have something to ask me?”
Twilight could only gape at her abnormally random friend. “How- how did you know that?” she spluttered.
Pinkie Pie shrugged. “Just a hunch. So let’s see... Celestia sent you a letter, you are called to Canterlot, but this weekend is also the weekend that you expect a lot of traffic from the school, so you are on a hunt for somepony to fill in for you?”
If Twilight hadn’t seen Pinkie do this before, this would have shaken up her frayed nerves even more. “Let me guess, a hunch?”
The pink curls bobbed up and down on her head. “Am I right?”
Twilight nodded back. “How do you do that?”
Pinkie shrugged. “No idea! So, when do you need me at the library?”
Again, Twilight could only blink. “Err- this afternoon?”
“Alright, I’ll be there! So, did I tell you what Pumpkin did this time?” said Pinkie with a smile.
“Uh- no?” Twilight hesitated.
“Well then! Let me tell you...”
That is how Pinkie Pie ended up sitting the library for Twilight. The princess, having packed her bags, hesitantly turned the key of the library over to her friend. "Make sure the books return to their correct places on their shelves. Make sure you get books off the high shelves if needed. Don't give a foal a book above their reading level..." The list of rules Twilight had given her was long. Long, but not more than she could handle. Pinkie, with a pep in her step and a grin on her chin, set to work.
At first, Pinkie was content just reading the shelves, not that she didn't know the library pretty well by that point; it was her best friend's house after all. Plus, Pinkie was known for memorizing things. However, reading shelves didn't last long. Pinkie sighed and sat down in the middle of the room beside Gummy. "I'm bored," she said.
Gummy blinked. That didn't take long, Pinkie. You need to learn how to be content with nothing. It gives you a wonderful amount of time to simply sit back and think on things like, why is the sky blue, and how do Cutie Marks work? Is there any point in even striving for it? For it really limits a pony's ability.
"I know Gummy, I really ought to learn how to be more content with silence, and nothing... and loneliness, and nopony being around." Pinkie's hair began to deflate.
All those were the same thing, Gummy noted. But Pinkie, maybe you are looking at this from the wrong direction. Maybe you could do a science project as well.
Pinkie immediately perked up. "Oh boy! Gummy, I didn't even think of that!" she gasped, spinning around and around with the baby alligator clutched between her forehooves. She planted a kiss on the top of the reptile's head and dove towards the books. Moments later, there was a knock at the door. Before her stood all three of the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
"Uh, hey," Apple Bloom said, looking up into the face of Pinkie Pie. "Where's Twilight?"
"In Canterlot. I'm watching the library for her till she gets back," Pinkie said, puffing out her chest a tad.
The three fillies exchanged looks of concern. "Alright, uh, do ya think ya could help us find the books?" Apple Bloom asked, clearly not all that sure with Pinkie's presence at the library.
"Sure! That's what librarians do, right?"
It turned out looking for books on a certain topic was a little harder than she expected. Apple Bloom was looking for books on how to make plants grow faster using potions like Zecora did. Scootaloo's science project was on how to build the fastest scooter. Sweetie Belle was doing a study on how gems were created under the earth. Pinkie was studying how to find books when all the books in the library were shelved alphabetically. How does Spike find books in this mess? Pinkie wondered.
As soon as the books were found and the CMC had left, Pinkie sat down next to Gummy and began thinking out loud again. "There has to be a better way, Gummy. I mean, alphabetically by titles and authors works when you are dealing with story books, but it really makes finding topics hard. Do you know how big the T section is? The blank did this, the blank and the blank! Not to mention all those other words. The same goes with the A section. Gummy, there just has to be a better way."
So, without even waiting for Gummy's response, Pinkie pulled every book from the shelves and started reshelving. This time, she sorted them by title of the first chapter of the book. Pinkie with her fourth wall breaking abilities had the job done in no time, so when Twist showed up, Pinkie was all ready to go.
"Greetings Twist, How are you doing today?" Pinkie asked happily.
"Fine, wherth Twilight?" she asked.
Pinkie smiled. "She's in Canterlot on royal business, so I'm keeping the library while she is gone."
Twist smiled and nodded with a toothy grin. "Oh, I see. Well, my project is on different typeth of sugar, and how they affect candy."
Pinkie couldn't help but be excited about this one. "Really! Maybe I'll drop by later and see how it's coming!"
Twist smiled and nodded. "Shure. Tho, do you know of any bookth?"
Pinkie Pie glanced about the library. "I don't know, I think sugar, and sweets would be the two key topics we'd be looking for."
Twist nodded, "That'th what I think too."
So the two set off looking for the books. But just like before, it took a really long time to find the books that they were looking for. Finally however they did. Twist checked them out and Pinkie returned to pondering her big question: How to speed up the book hunt when it came to topical studies. "Gummy, there has to be an easier way than this."
Gummy blinked. Why don't you try sorting them by the topic? Gummy thought.
The lightbulb in Pinkie's brain went off. Quickly she tore the books from the shelves, and after glancing at each book, set them with like books. Girly books with girly books. “How To” books were done alphabetically. Each book had its group. Pinkie grinned. "Next time, this will be easier!" she said to Gummy, examining her hard work.
Just at that moment, Pipsqueak and his big brother Teacher's Pet entered. "Good evening boys!" Pinkie said excitedly. "What are your projects about?"
"Something about pirates!" Pip said excitedly.
Pet raised an eyebrow. "My project will be on how different foliage grow at different speeds depending on the environment in which they were planted."
Pinkie blinked. Pet really needed Twilight, that sounded complicated. But finding his books didn't prove to be much of a hassle at all... once Pinkie remembered where she had stuck that section. That, however, took much longer than it should have. Pip's project was a different problem entirely. Pirates was a huge topic! There was pirate gold, there were pirate battle tactics, famous pirates and what they left behind, the list went on. However, Pinkie did eventually find the books and handed them down.
Once the brothers left, Pinkie scooped up Gummy and started thinking again. "Alright Gummy, that worked better, but still not perfect. I know! This time I'll sort them by the last letter of the book!"
And how is that going to solve your problem? Gummy thought to himself. Sometimes Pinkie was just Pinkie.
And just like before, with logic-breaking speeds, Pinkie removed all the books, then returned them in their new order just in time for the next set of students, Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon.
"Hello Pinkie," Diamond said. "How are, um what are you doing here?"
Pinkie smiled. "Twilight is away on business so I'm taking care of the library."
Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. "Ugh, fine. I want a book on the best way to apply makeup without looking like a cow," she said.
"Hair products. I want a book on all the hair products in Equestria. I'm going to test which one actually works the best," Silver Spoon added. "I think it's HayAir, but Apple Bloom thinks it's Apple Cider! Can you believe that?"
Both girls died laughing.
Pinkie Pie made a mental note to ask Applejack about that one. Sounded interesting. "Well, let's look."
By the time they had found something on each of the girl's topics, both fillies were most vexed and were more than willing to tattle on Pinkie to their respective families. "You might be a good party planner," Diamond went as far to say, "But I think you need to get out of the library. This place is a disaster."
When they finally did leave, Pinkie Pie was feeling more than a little crushed. Her mane went flat, and her eyes darted around. Gummy came closer and planted a kiss on Pinkie's cheek. It's alright, Pinkie Pie, he said in his sort of way. Those girls are just mean, don't listen to them. That method just didn't work.
Pinkie couldn't agree more, so without further ado, she once again removed all the books from the shelves. However, since it was now closing time, she didn't bother to put them all back up right away. She just didn't feel like it.
It was Rainbow Dash who, messing up on a routine, came crashing through Twilight's upstairs window into the library. Pinkie hardly glanced up as Dash lay sprawled, wallowing in an unusual bout of self pity.
Rainbow quickly brushed herself off and stood up. "Hey Pinks, so you're taking care of Twilight's place?"
Pinkie Pie nodded. "Yep, but it's not going so well."
"Say, why are all the books on the floor and not on the shelves?"
Pinkie shrugged. "Dashie! I tried, I really tried! But no matter how I sorted the books, it became harder and harder to actually find the topic I was looking for."
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "I see. Well, I'll go see if I can get the rest of the group, and maybe we can figure this out."
Pinkie smiled, her hair returning some of its bounce.
Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash all stood around the library's main room. "And that's the problem?" Applejack asked Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie nodded. "The system that worked the best was when I did it by topic. The only problem was that Battles and Treasure were so far apart! Once I found one, I had to go find the other and it was so far apart it wasn't fun at all."
The group listened, then nodded in agreement. "So, we need to have a system that organizes it by both?" Rarity spoke up.
Pinkie Pie nodded. "I think that is a good idea."
"When I was a filly," Fluttershy spoke up, "I worked with one of the teachers in her library every Friday. She taught me about the system she used."
"And darling, what system was that?"
"Well, the teacher, Miss Feathers, was dyslexic, so she didn't do well with words. However, she was very good at math, so she used a number system: Zero through nine hundred ninety nine. Each hundred was a subject, each ten was a mini subject, and each one was a topic. A decimal after the one showed where there were slight differences. I don't remember many. Five-hundred was science, eight-hundred was geography, two-hundred was literature, nine-hundred was history, and so on. Music, art, cooking, they were all in there. You could give her a book title and she was able to shelf it in seconds," Fluttershy concluded.
"And you never told us any of this?" Rarity asked, affronted.
Fluttershy shrugged. "You never asked."
The weekend had been a long series of talks with different delegates from all over Equestria. Twilight was so relieved to finally be pulling back into the station in friendly ol' Ponyville after the ride she had had in Canterlot. Part of her was excited to be home, the other part of her was kind of dreading it. Pinkie wasn't the most responsible of her friends, so Twilight was very much expecting a mess when she got home.
The train pulled to a stop as she and Spike both quietly disembarked the train. Sighing, she glanced about for her friends. Almost instantly she was attacked by a bone-crushing hug from Pinkie, a good thump on the back from Applejack and Rainbow Dash, and a bombardment of questions from Rarity.
Twilight smiled, hugging her friends back. "I sure missed you guys," she said.
"Us too," Pinkie said. "Oh, just wait till you see what we did to the library."
Twilight's heart sank. Spike trembled. "Do I want to know?" Twilight asked.
They all nodded in agreement. "Yes Twilight, you will like it," Fluttershy said, beaming from ear to ear.
With a heavy heart and only half trusting herself, she opened her door and entered her home. Twilight looked around. There was no mess. There were no books stacked sideways on shelves—but the spines were ruined! Taped to them were little cards with long strings of numbers.
Using the method Cadance had taught her, Twilight examined them. "You Dewied my library!" she said, realization coming to her. "You put Dewey Decimal Numbers on all my books! You are the best friends ever!"
Spike walked up to Twilight and tapped her on the shoulder. "What are Dewey Numbers?" he asked.
Twilight smiled at her friends. "Well...."
Pinkie jumped forward. “Let me show him!” she said in her normal excited manner. “Alright, so you want a book on say... granite. Granite is a part of Geology, which is part of science. So I know the book will be under the 500’s.” She walked over to the section. “Then I think the 550’s.” She found it and started running across the shelves looking for the book. “Here it is, 552,” she said, pulling the book off the shelf and handing it to Spike.
Spike stood in awe.
Applejack stepped forward. “Say ah need a book about the founding of Ponyville,” she said. “Now that’d be History, so ah go to the 900’s.” Applejack then got a puzzled look on her face. “Ah, here it is, 976,” she said, pulling the book from the shelf.
Rainbow Dash smiled. “Even I can find a book. Jousting, here’s one. Right next to hoof to hoof combat, ancient flying methods...” Dash continued to ramble.
“Yes, and I can find all the sewing books now. They are under art, which is 600, then on down the line past 640 which is general hoof crafts. Here it is, 646. And all the cookbooks are right here too, Spiky. No taking two hours to find a recipe for what you want to eat.”
Twilight was beaming from ear to ear. “Wow girls! This is amazing, simply amazing! Thank you, thank you all so much!”
“Ya know what the best part is?” Applejack said.
“What’s that?” Twilight asked.
“Now anypony can find the book they want. Not just you and Spike,” Applejack said. “Last night, Big Mac, after a quick rundown, was able to find the book he wanted in a matter of seconds.”
“Scootaloo too,” Dash added. “I think even Cheerilee was impressed.”
They all nodded.
Twilight sat down. “Spike, I think being a librarian just got easier. Maybe this being a princess thing won’t be quite so hard after all.”
Author's Note
(Author Note)
This story takes place during season four. My inspiration came from an event in my own life. Both of my parents have worked in libraries at some point or another of their lives. In fact, that’s where they met. So naturally, when we got a huge Non-Fiction library in our house, Mom decided to put that library knowledge to work. We ended up taking that entire summer to card catalog the books. Now, even my five year old sister can find the book she wants... within reason of course.
The Dewey Decimal System is used by many libraries worldwide. And if you know the code, you’ll never have a problem one finding the book you want.
The other bit of inspiration came from another character in another book I’m writing; Elsie. She’s got the personality type of Pinkie, but is a librarian like Twilight is. I was thinking on how funny it’d be for Pinkie to try to sort them in the same manner she had from time to time. Color, first word in the book, last word in the book, first chapter name, last three letters of the author’s name, exc. And with that idea, this story was started.
So thank you all for reading. I do hope you enjoyed it.
Cowgirl VK Out.
