The Time Rail Run Came

by CrimsonEquine

Rating: teen
Tags: Discord, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Human, Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 969

Rail Run is a pony who has no rules. Watch as he goes to Ponyville.

Rail Run is a pony who has no rules. Watch as he goes to Ponyville.

[Parody]

Published 2015-09-04 14:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-04 14:20:01 UTC

Chapter Deficit Disorder

It was a normal day in Ponyville. Ponies were walking along the streets as per usual and having a naturally occurring day. Then, up from the sky. The clouds would tear asunder, and darkness swept through into some type of black hole. Out of the big ass hole came, Rail Run the pony. He was blue colored with rainbow striped skin with no tail and mane and had an unwavering ability to caress the living shit out of you with his bat-pony eyes. He floated down to the center of Ponyville as every pony watched him.

He then sang this song,

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Ponyville citizens cried tears of joy at his heart warming, and tense song. Every pony were enamored and were beyond anything of their abilities to look away at the spectacle. He flew down to the ground and sat quietly in peace.

"Ponies of Ponyville! I beseech you, we must band together and give me your life force so I may finally save you all!" he said Gallantly. "Raise your hooves as high as possible."

And so, Ponies raised their hooves to the sky to the unbelievable savior that came out of nowhere. A giant orb of energy started to build from the outward power of his hooves. The orb escalated to large proportions, and it suddenly grew into a ball of planetary devastation. From the depths of space came the ender of all existence, the Decapod 9000. A robotic force that would destroy all of reality and I have not mentioned before. Anyways, it was a giant automaton of incomprehensibility, and needed to be destroyed.

"Thats it Pony residents! Give me your power!"

With him squeezing his eye-lids and twitching his hoof. He managed enough to finally destroy that evil monstrosity from ever violating living organisms again. With the might of the universe, he threw the ball of blue energy with rainbow striped skin and watched as it destroyed the beast utterly and completely.

The ponies cheered, even though it felt pretty quick and anti-climactic. So instead, they just jumped excitedly like they were in some type of rock concert.

"You did it Rail Run! I mean, you destroyed whatever that thing was... or something." said some random pony in the street.

"Not to worry denizens! I have saved you all and now all I ask is too be rewarded in kindness."

Their eyes sparkled with intensity. How could they ever refuse such a pony of magnificence and power.

"Well, eh heh... I need you all to teach me how to talk to GIRLS!"

The collective ponydom, all gave a blank expression of surprise. It surely wasn't something to be expected from some pony of such power and suitability.

"What do you mean you can't talk to girls!?" said a random pony in the crowd during a widespread quiet.

Rail Run looked around the crowed as they dispersed in disappointment as he nervously shook his head. He climbed up from his rump in desperation.

"Wait! I can blow up a planet if you'd all like!? Or maybe defeat Discord!" he said while trying to catch the crowd... to no success. "Goddamnit!"

With a swing of his non-existent unicorn horn, he materialized a scroll to which he unfolds to find a list. On it were different descriptions of what he wanted to do, from having sex with every pony he could get his hand on. To, finally getting it on with Princess Luna, the pony of his dreams.

He quickly axed all the set of choices as failures.

Suddenly, from nowhere... again. Came Discord, he was laying down in the middle of the air watching Rail Run's frustration. He tried his best to not incur a laugh.

"Oh Rail Run, or should I say... David. Would it make you feel better if we fought each other and you won with no competition?" said Discord sailing by the atmosphere with a smirk.

Rail Run slammed his eyelids down in frustration. The one chance he could finally go to Equestria and now it seems like it didn't go anywhere. Discord miraculously appears into his view and grabs his face.

"Chin up! You still have a few seconds to enjoy yourself. I'd say you had the chance of a lifetime, which reminds me. 3-2-1..."

Rail Run disappeared instantly, no trace of him to be found anywhere he once sat. Discord pulled out a list of his own, this time with several different names on them, a majority consisting of two words.

He looked down and found Rail Runs name and checked it with a slash of his claw. Pulling out a pack cash from some pocket in his flesh that looked incredibly realistic. He shuffled them in his hands like the pimp he was.

Princess Luna watched outside from the balcony of her room. It was chilly outside, but it seemed odd since it was the middle of a sunny day. She watched from afar, Discord shuffling his dollars and scoffed a laugh. She turned around and went to chill in the living room. To her surprise, Princess Celestia walked in as Luna was about to play video games.

"He's still doing that business with the humans?" asked Princess Celestia.

"Well, of course! How else are we going to pay for all these human games and electronics, look Tia! I've jumped with a press of a button!"

On the television screen, one could see a pixelized italian with red overalls leaping up.

"Thats all well and done, but please make sure you both don't take it out of hand. Now I'm going to see some neighboring countries. Make sure everything stays sane when I get back."

Luna nodding at Celestia, she casually closed the door and left Luna to her own gaming devices.