The Pastel Slim Shady

by Shobie

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Comedy, Random
Length: 1198

A mysterious black fog transports Marshal Mathers to Equestria.

While driving back home from a long day at the studio, Marshal Mathers (Stage name: Eminem), gets shoved into Equestria by some weird black fog. How will this Rap God handle being surrounded by pastel ponies and magic? Who the fuck knows? He'll probably think he's nuts... Nope, he's insane.

Rated Teen for vulgar language.

Published 2015-09-04 23:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-04 23:00:02 UTC

Chapter 1: Car Crash

“Sick, man. Good take.” Andre said as Marshall stepped out of the studio.

Marshall took a few steps towards Dre looking slightly down, seemingly unsure of himself.

He sighed and spoke. “Yeah. I just hope the final product will be good enough, you know?”

Andre put a hand on Marshall's shoulder reassuringly. “Don’t worry, I got the mixing. It’ll be your best mothafuckin’ song yet.”

“I don’t know… You sure it can top all the others?” Marshall said glancing up to Dre.

“Man, it’s good! You okay, dude? You’re never this worried about a song. From what I can tell, the lyrics don’t cross any lines.” Dre responded with a little disappointment in his voice when saying the last bit.

“I don’t know, I just ain’t feelin’ good I guess. Like something’s messing with my head. I think I just need some rest.”

“I hope so,” Andre shoved Marshall towards the door. “Now go home and rest your voice. You’ve been at this all fuckin’ day tryin’ to get this right!”

“Aight, aight, fine.” Marshall said chuckling. “But I’ll be back tomorrow!”

“You better not!” Andre replied, also chuckling. “I’ll kick your ass if you don’t get some rest!”

Marshall started towards the exit. “Aight, see ya, man.”

“See ya.”

Marshall was driving his black Chevy Suburban home. It was getting dark and fog started rolling in. A little over halfway home, on the highway, the fog was really thick now.

What the fuck? I’ve never seen fog this thick before.. And why is it getting darker? Marshall thought, trying to squint to see through the fog.

A few minutes passed and the fog darkened and thickened to a point where Marshall could only see two meters ahead of him at most. At that point, a bright light flashed multiple times around him.

Holy fuck, what was that?! I hope Nate and Hailie are okay.. He thought with a worried expression formed on his face.

Lost in his worried thoughts, his mind fell off of the road and almost hit a tree. He swerved and missed said tree by barely 3 inches.

Where did that fuckin’ tree come from?! I’m on the highway! At least, I think I am…

Suddenly the Chevy started shaking violently as if going 90kmph on grass. Realizing that he was now not on the road, Marshall panicked. He swerved left and right trying to find the road.

Ahead of him he could see a faint outline of something tall and hourglass shaped. Out of fear of hitting it, he slammed on his brakes, causing his SUV to slide and skid across the ground, fast.

The figure came into view.

Is that a… tree?

Bracing for impact, confusion and fear, mostly fear, flooded his mind as his car slid across the ground head on into the weird shaped tree.

*CRASH*

Marshall

“Uhhhhhhhh… Fuck… My head...” He said aloud.

Darkness was all Marshall could see as he laid his head on the steering wheel, weak and hurting.

He laid like that for what felt like an hour, but was probably only about 10 minutes

“Zecora? You there?” Marshall heard a raspy voice whisper. Or, at least, attempt to whisper.

Zecora? The fuck kind of name is tha-

Marshalls thoughts were cut off by the intense pain in his head.

He heard two sets of footsteps approach him slowly.

Too pained to move at the moment, he remained still.

The car door opened and Marshall could feel a soft… thing… grab onto his white hoodie and carefully slowly start to drag him out of the vehicle.

The fuck is that? He thought, too weak to say anything more.

A soft groan escaped him as he felt the pain in his head.

The thing that was grasped onto his hoodie dropped him halfway out of his car, causing his head to his the ground. He let out a large groan of pain and squirmed a bit trying to get up. Just as he was about to lift his head to look at the person who has weird hands, he felt the soft appendage again. This time though it was hard and fast… Against his head.

“AAGGH” He yelped in pain as he collapsed.

Next thing he knew everything was going pitch black.

*CRASH*

“Huh?”

Rainbow Dash was out for a midnight fly when she heard a loud crash coming from the Everfree Forest. She flew over near the forest and noticed that there was some black haze sticking up over it about 100 meters in.

“That’s weird..” She said.

She contemplated going and getting the others, but thought it best to go now, since it could be Zecora.

She could be hurt! Dash thought as she zoomed in the direction of the haze.

She could barely see through the hazy fog as she flew over it. Then suddenly it all started dissipating into nothing.

Dash backed off slightly in fear of the peculiar fog.

She looked down and spotted a large mess of metal next to a tree. Curious, she flew down cautiously.

“Zecora? You there?” Dash whispered a loud whisper, trying not to attract other creatures in the forest.

She carefully landed and observed the metal cluster. She glanced towards the end the tree was on to see something white in it.

Zecora? Dash thought

She started towards the cluster and hopped on the side of it, only to see what she could only describe as a white… thing. She had no clue what it was, but there were stains from some red liquid on the white thing. Blood.

Worried for whatever it was, she immediately looked for a way to get to it.

Finding some sort of handle on the side of it, she yanked outwards and it opened. Mentally praising herself for finding it, she put a hoof on the things back and started to pull it out of the metal which had some sort of shiny seats inside it.

About halfway through pulling the thing out, she heard it groan. Not expecting it, she dropped it and its head hit the ground and fell completely out.

It groaned louder and started shuffling to get up.

Out of sudden fear and the heat of the moment, she struck its head as hard as she could.

“AAGGH!” It yelled before collapsing on the ground, seemingly lifeless.

Oh buck.. Dash internally cursed.

She rushed over and put her hoof on its neck, nearly hyperventilating. “Please don’t be dead. Please don’t be dead. Please don’t be dead!” She borderline yelled.

After trying multiple spots on his neck, she finally felt an artery throb.

“Oh thank Celestia..” Dash said, sighing in relief.

She looked around considering where to take this thing.

“Well, it is a thing. So, Fluttershy’s place sounds like the best place. Maybe she knows what it is.” Dash thought aloud.

She wrapped her hooves under the things front hooves, or at least what she guessed was its front hooves, seemingly odd and prehensile, and slowly but surely dragged it towards the area in which Fluttershy’s cottage was located.

How the buck am I going to explain this?