So Much for Adventure.

by an guy

Rating: everyone
Tags: Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Rarity, Random, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 2011

Three friends go on a not-adventure. Nothing interesting happens and they don't learn anything.

What happens when Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity go on the hunt for adventure? Not much. Just boring stuff. In fact, you'll probably be pretty disappointed, dear reader. Sucks to be you.

Warning: May contain traces of nuts.

Published 2012-05-28 09:04:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-28 09:04:01 UTC

Adventure!

“Dun dun, dundun, dun dun, dundundun-“

“Rainbow, will you PLEASE stop trying to sing the Futurama theme.”

It was a warm and sunny day in Ponyville—just warm and sunny enough to provide a cliché story introduction. The trees swayed gently in the breeze as trees so often do, and birds chirped and fluttered about as trees very often do not. On just such a day as this, one could find a slightly annoyed Twilight Sparkle trotting alongside a mildly hyperactive Rainbow Dash on their way to a somewhat inanimate building known as the Carousel Boutique. As this was her first day out and about in almost two weeks, Twilight was determined to enjoy the much-needed fresh air and social activity. And for now, she couldn’t be happier.

“DUN, DUN DUUUN DUUUN DUN”

Well, she could be a little happier.

Sweet relief came to Twilight’s ears in the form of Rarity’s boutique as Rainbow Dash summoned the decency to stop belting out off-key notes at the front door of the establishment. Instead, Rainbow displayed an instinctual shudder; she was not exactly the best friend of the frou-frou makeover things and such that the boutique represented.

Her purple unicorn friend picked up on the gesture and amusedly shook her head. “Don’t be silly, Rainbow Dash,” she comforted, pointing a hoof at the “closed” sign on the door. “We’re just here to pick up Rarity and then we’re off.”

“Who’s here to pick me up now?” chimed in none other than the pristine-coated unicorn herself from her bedroom window on the next floor up.

“Oh hey there,” responded Twilight. “Rainbow and I were just going to wander aimlessly around town until something interesting happens, and we thought you might like to come along too.”

“There’s a better chance if there’s at least three of us,” added the pegasus.

Rarity looked hesitantly between the two ponies below her. “That seems a little… it seems to lack the logical thinking that you usually give things, Twilight dear,” she offered.

Twilight audibly groaned and rubbed the side of her head. “To be honest, Rarity, I could use a little break from logic for today. Why else would I be hanging out with Rainbow Dash?” Rainbow responded with a proud nod. “Besides, it actually does work. I’ve done it before.”

“Well, that’s enough for me then,” Rarity decided with a smile that almost looked mischievous. “No reason to pass up an afternoon with friends, I should think.” And with that, she was down the stairs and out the door to join her two friends.

Rainbow Dash gave a playful chuckle and nudged Rarity. “Heh, I was afraid you’d have us waiting for like, hours while you got ready.”

“Now now, don’t exaggerate, Rainbow,” scolded Twilight, but her eyes betrayed her amusement.

“Nonsense, darling,” replied Rarity. “One must always be prepared to look fabulous on a moment’s notice. Wouldn’t want to keep anypony waiting, now would I?”

And so to the center of town they headed, welcoming whatever adventures awaited them.

“Really? THIS is the adventure awaiting us?”

It was still a warm and sunny day in Ponyville, but heat and sun tend to work against ponies when they are in the act of backbreaking physical labor.

“I agree with Rainbow Dash on this one; I am simply not cut out for this sort of thing. And the sweat is ruining my glamorous coat!”

The air smelled of a mix between fresh fruit, nature’s greenery, and the sorts of manure odors associated with most barnyards.

“Look, let’s just get this over with and then we can be on our way. Besides, Applejack is one of the most helpful ponies in Ponyville; it’s only fair that we give a little help back.”

For that’s exactly what Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity were doing. It hadn’t taken long for the three wandering ponies to run into Big Macintosh in town, where he explained to them that Applejack was being her stubborn self and “biting off more than she can chew.” And so it was that what they had thought would be lending a quick hoof at Sweet Apple Acres turned into nearly two hours of manual labor best left to the fit and able Apple family.

As much as Twilight loved to help a friend in need, she had to admit (at least to herself, if not to the others) that their current task of loading large barrels of apples into the barn was taking its heavy toll on her; even her magic has its endurance limits, given a few scores of wooden drums laden with the accursed round fruits.

“Alright,” grumbled a frustrated Rainbow Dash, “I can lift as much stuff as the next awesome iron pony, but this is just stupid. We’ve helped enough for today, so let’s just blow this joint.”

Twilight glanced at Rarity, who was either in agreement or too exhausted to argue, before turning to the pegasus. “I know this isn’t what you had planned for today, but ditching Applejack while she’s out working hard at bucking those trees would definitely be the wrong course of action. Isn’t that right, Rarity?” She turned to her unicorn friend, who was simply staring longingly in Rainbow’s direction. When she turned back, the pegasus had already launched herself into flight, heading straight back to town.

“Didn’t you even HEAR what I JUST SAID?” yelled Twilight in a tone that was not very friendly. She was about to give up and turn back to the task at hand when a while blur rushed surprisingly quickly past from behind her.

“Wait for me, Rainbow Dash!” called Rarity as she galloped into the distance. An array of varied expressions, notably shock, betrayal, and generally being fed up with things always going wrong, played across Twilight’s face before she let out a relenting sigh she had been holding in for the past hour.

“Well… sorry, Applejack,” she offered to no one in particular, and sprinted to catch up with her friends.

“Somepony say my name?” asked a sweaty Applejack as she turned the corner around the barn. “I just got back from th’ fields and—what in tarnation?” She paused when she realized that her audience was a fleeing purple unicorn, a distant blur of white, and a speck of cyan in the sky. The apple farmer tilted her head in confusion. “Guess they’re late for sum’n,” she mused.

Evening found the three friends back at the Books and Branches Library, where Twilight had regrouped Rainbow Dash and Rarity. It wasn’t easy catching up to them and coaxing them out of hiding, the pegasus in her cloud home and the unicorn in the upper room of her boutique, but with a little magic (and the ever-present threat of Twilight having a screw come loose), she convinced each of them to come back with her to the library for dinner.

Dinner itself was Twilight’s staple meal: daisy sandwiches and hay fries, a meal that could be labeled as “boring” by some of its critics, and would be referred to as such by a particular one several times over the next half hour.

“Do you really eat this every day, Twilight? It’s SO BORING.”

“Look,” Twilight admonished the pegasus, “I didn’t bring you here so you could criticize my dietary habits. I brought you here to yell at—I mean, TALK to you about what happened earlier.” Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Rarity shifting uncomfortably. “What you two did was unacceptable and really unfriendly. You can’t just ditch a friend like that!”

“Okay, mother,” mumbled Rarity under her breath, but it went unheard.

“Hey, you ran off too,” said Rainbow Dash coolly. “You could have stayed there and done all the work yourself.”

“Well, I was HOPING to get you and Miss Fabulous here to come back and actually do what you were supposed to do in the first place.”

“Supposed to do?!” yelled Rainbow, jumping out of her seat and hovering just above the table. “Who said we were supposed to get drug into it in the first place?”

“We didn’t get drugged into it,” said Rarity. “I do believe I was sober the entire time.”

“What if the drugs made it so that you forgot being drugged?” retorted the airborne pony. Rarity’s expression told the others that she hadn’t considered this.

“She meant to say DRAGGED,” interrupted Twilight, who was now coming to a steady simmer. “Just thought I’d clarify before this conversation gets any stupider. And no, we weren’t supposed to get dragged into it, but it was a pretty jerk move to take off without permission like that.”

“Alright, whatever, point taken, going home now,” Rainbow blurted as she headed for the door. Her escape was cut short by a magical grip around her tail, and she was pulled back down and into the room.

Twilight smiled and turned to her fellow unicorn. “Thank you, Rarity,” she said.

Rarity winked in response. “It’s only proper that we go back and apologize, is it not?”

Twilight nodded happily in agreement, but Rainbow Dash wasn’t overly fond of the idea. She had a reputation to maintain, after all. Iron Pony, future Wonderbolt, best young flier and all that. “Applejack should be apologizing to us,” she muttered.

“Oh right, of course. Because Applejack’s goal was clearly to make us miserable. What a terrible pony.” Twilight’s voice dripped sarcasm.

“Well… it still wasn’t really fair,” said Rainbow lamely. She scratched the back of her neck.

With a sigh, Rarity stepped toward her and looked her in the eye. “I’m afraid Twilight is right, dear,” she said firmly, but gently. “It’s time for you and all of us to get off our high horses and do the right thing.” She paused in confusion for a moment, and then added, “You know, that expression doesn’t make much sense, when you think about it.”

The feathered flier forced herself forlornly from the floor. “Ugh, fine. Next time I see her, I’ll—“

“I don’t think so,” the purple unicorn cut her off. “I think we should all do it now. No better time than the present, right?” This was met by a firm nod from Rarity and a groan from Rainbow Dash. “So it’s settled then! Let’s go.”

And so they went.

“…And that’s why we’re sorry,” Rainbow Dash forced out in conclusion. “Also I used your toothbrush to unclog your toilet.”

Applejack either missed the last part or ignored it. “Well shucks, y’all didn’t have to stay if ya didn’t want,” she said with a comforting chuckle. “I just wish you’da told me before y’all up ‘n left.”

The three ponies across from the farmer smiled in relief. Twilight nudged Rainbow Dash and said, “See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“Psh, are you kidding? That was awful. And she wasn’t even mad, so it’s like I did it all for no reason!” Rainbow practically shouted before remembering that Applejack was still standing two meters away.

The earth pony gave her a mock stern look. “Run along then, if you’re through being civil for once,” she managed before her expression broke and she smiled again.

“Yes ma’am!” replied the energetic pegasus, and with that she took her leave.

Applejack turned to the pair of unicorns and shook her head. “Stubborn as a mule sometimes, ain’t she?”

“What, and you’re not?” snickered Rarity.

“Oh hush, you. Don’t you got some frilly dresses to make?”

Rarity put her nose up and replied, “As a matter of fact, I do.” Then she turned to Twilight and added, “Walk with me into town?”

“Of course!” said Twilight, and they headed in the direction of Rarity’s home. When they had been trotting for five minutes or so, she smiled Rarity and said, “You know, that may not have been the adventure we were looking for, but at least we learned something.”

Rarity looked puzzled. “Really? I didn’t learn anything.”

“Hmm… I guess you’re right. Oh well, we can just try again tomorrow then.”

THE END