Not Worth Reading

by JadeDusk

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 3168

Many thoughts pass through my mind while looking at the night sky... and on the run.

It's been a few hundred years ever since Twilight started acting odd… and now trapped everyone inside, exiling me and a Spirit of Chaos, and soon all of Equestria will fall further than it has. And sending guards out to track us isn't exactly helping with turning things around.

Ponies are being kicked out at the slightest suspicion of betrayal… ever since a tragedy happened to Twilight's assistant, she's gone under changes that no-pony else seemed to stop. This is what it has become… and it's surprisingly easy to go through.

(Currently being revised and re-writing bits to improve. Constructive criticism welcomed.)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-07 22:10:01 UTC

Nothing Special...

Some can shrug off the past and walk onward with little to care, where others are mortified by it and run from it in the never-ending nightmare of life. Like the mythical Nightmare Moon's ability, it consumes them and they dedicate their life to making sure the past doesn't repeat... driving them completely mad.

Which is the right path, you may ask? Well... even though I may sound insane for talking to a book slowly filling with words... I am not sure. It takes guts, and a lot of bravery, to get over whatever soreness your mind, body, or both has trudged through in history... but it seems the more times you go through it, it affects you less and less.

For the past few hundred years, I have been facing most of these challenges, sometimes simultaneously... I guess that's the price you have to pay.

After sitting there for a few minutes staring at the page, I lowered the quill to the ground beside me. After writing for what seemed like a long time, the wind closed the leather-bound journal that laid in front of me in the dying grass. I have always enjoyed the luxury of being able to write... and the words seem to like me as well as I write every last one down.

And every time I write with what looks like a normal feather, it always amazes me how I don't need an inkwell; I can just write like its a pen.

Something bright sparkled high above me interrupting my thoughts, and as I gazed up, I saw where it was coming from.

Stargazing... another hobby I missed. I let gravity take over as I fell backwards, crossing my legs at the ankles as my eyes darted curiously across the sky. I reached over and held the book to my chest, the white quill on top of it. I could hear nothing but the sounds of crickets chirping away with their lullabies, the quiet whispering breeze gently caressing the tall sepia-colored grass around me.

A rare moment when everything is peaceful as the sky danced with sparkling lanterns, aka stars. Although... the truth behind shooting stars is odd. In this world, shooting stars are like bullets fired from a gun, or at least resemble them. I just hope no-one gets struck tonight... no-pony deserves to, especially when life itself is very precious.

The horizon always stayed the same... Twilight Zone, as the said alicorn would declare it as it was always dusk. The sun never rose, neither did the moon. Just the sea of stars.

I slowly looked away from the meteor shower and towards the other stars, as slowly more stars peeked out of hiding and showed themselves, sparkling eternally in the black abyss, showing it would be 'night-time'.

More thoughts came into my head as more stars dully lit up the sky, as I rolled over to my stomach and rested my head against my hand. Quill back in my right hand and reopening to where I left off, skipping a line on the page:

One question appears before me quite often; The "meaning" of life. The one question that fascinates everyone and can make one think for a very long time, seemingly no matter what dimension you are stuck in. There is a belief that life exists as much as death exists. There was once a metaphorical question that Life asked Death, in which Death simply replied that Life is the 'beautiful lie' while he/it is the 'painful truth'. That if life was never-ending, there would be peace. That Death won't bring forth suffering of those one would loose.

But, then I ask, "Is it worth living if everyone ends up dying alone?" My answer: Yes.

It's not the life, or death, itself that you think about. It is about what you make of it that determines who you become. If you always fear the day you pass away, it may control you to avoid it at all costs, in which your soul is still slowly ticking down. Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, you are always dying. Even when you are immortal, except it builds up and simply washes away like a river, rarely ever showing through to the surface. For those who are mortal, they wish that death could kill them when it affects someone that cherish, simply so they won't suffer.

I have heard some say that they wish to be immortal. Both in this world and plenty on Earth. That way, they can see history unravel. They can see the world with carefree minds and hearts, with no fear or anxiety of possibly being erased from the living.

Like Death, it is a ever-debatable argument which is more torturous... Live for a certain amount of time and die?

Or live forever and be surrounded by nothing but eternally floating memories, echoes of lost voices of your still-mortal friends who have passed away what seemed like many millennia ago. You watch toddlers take their first step, then find them the next day taking their last breath with faded hair and wrinkled skin and breaking bones.

There are five beings here that go through that every century... but none of them exist any more. Except two.

Twilight, who I wish I can say better things about what has happened to her... I may explain that later.

And Discord... who I really wish he would let me call him Q. Even centuries later, I still have a bit of Star Trekkie in me.

Speaking of Discord... I wi

I had to stop writing as I felt someone floating over my shoulder. I let out a small sigh and my mouth curved slightly in a smile. "Speaking of said deity of chaos~"

Discord hovered over me resting his chin on his arms, and I didn't have to look away from the paper to know it was him.

"I was wondering where you wandered off to, only figures you would be writing in this clearing. Although do be more careful next time..." I could tell he was frowning at me slightly, "If you were gone any longer, I would've thought the guards found you and took you away."

I sighed, placing the quill on the paper and looking over my shoulder at him, "Sorry about that Q, I guess I better tell you before I go 'wandering off'"

I saw him roll his eyes at the nickname. Yes, I call him Q. It fits. At least I don't call him John de Lancie... that would be both weird and breaking the wall that I don't think would be very good for Discord to fully realize and end up being the next Pinkie Pie... except much worse than the occasional "oopsie".

I felt the ground beside me lower a bit as he lied down to my right, his eyes on the journal. "Are you alright? You usually don't write things like that..."

One of the few times in history I have ever seen him concerned as he looked at me with barely any expression on his face except a slight frown at seeing his friend like this.

I side-glanced at him, "I'm fine..." I said reassuringly. Or at least an attempt of doing so.

Discord smirked, "I can tell a lie when I hear one, and I guess the immortality thing is hitting you again?"

"... I should've known better" I quietly sighed. He was too good at reading my face... along with the fact I wrote down about it and he read it, which doesn't bother me all that much. "I guess you could say that..." I looked back at the book, my eyes scanning re-reading the scribbled ink on the parchment, "It's mostly things that I've connected between the Earth world and this one... even after all this time, its weird. It's like I'm dreaming or having some sort of long-time comatose hallucination... but I know I'm not."

Discord listened and smiled slightly, only for his head to perk up and look around. "We better get going..." He muttered, "I can hear  the guards... they must be on patrol again."

It was then when I could hear the faint hoofsteps of armored ponies walking in our direction, who I could assume held spears and crossbows, reading to attack anypony who they were told to kill upon sight...

Those mainly being me and Discord.

"Right..." I quickly sat upright, Discord doing the same as I closed my journal and put it and the quill in my satchel. I felt a tail brush against the hood of my cloak, the brown fabric now covering the back and sides of my face. I couldn't help but smile a 'thanks', and we immediately started running from the incoming threat.

We escaped from the small clearing into the seemingly never-ending Everfree forest. The leaves have long fallen as they left the now skeleton trees. That's when we came across a familiar scent... one that was faint, you only get one whiff of it before it goes away. I stopped at the border of what seemed like only one small corner of the forest.

Apples.

"We must be near Applejack's farm... maybe we can rest there?" I whispered to Discord as he was floating beside me.

"I don't see why not... as long as it's free of any guards, we will be fine."

I nodded as we cautiously stepped forward, eyes and ears alert for any armor-clad hoofsteps that would break apart the seemingly peaceful night.

Looking up at the barn, one-second flashbacks started to replay in my head, of when the large construction was brand-new, it was red as the apples that the family-bound farmers who lived inside used to harvest and take care of. When the world was a much more peaceful... place...

A clawed hand rested on my shoulder when he saw me all of a sudden stop, with wide disbelieving eyes staring not that far ahead. "It's alright Clover. Once we get inside you'll be fine. Just keep going."

I shook my head and closed my eyes for a second, then returned my gaze at the nearly destroyed barn. Just keep going...

We walked inside and saw the scattered hay that was everywhere... it was very dusty, and there was a hole in the roof that would show the moon, if the moon ever would come back.

Letting myself collapse on my side on a large pile of hay that was partly against a secluded section of the fraying walls, I immediately realized how sleep-deprived I was... even though immortals didn't need sleep to survive, it was a mental luxury. Even more so now.

The weakened Chaos spirit sat beside my fallen body and smiled slightly as I looked up, "You can rest... I'll watch over for tonight."

I nodded, but right as I let my begging eyes to close, I suddenly remembered I wasn't finished with something a bit more important. Thank the mythical Celestia that sleep wasn't needed. Quickly sitting upright with my back against the wall, I reached over to my right shoulder and grabbed the satchel, taking it off and placing it on my lap as I pulled out the quill and journal again. The cover of said book regained more memories of mine...

Centuries ago, Twilight gave me this book in hopes that I would keep it as a diary, but I never really got around to doing so and it sat in her castle collecting dust. It had brown leather binding and covers, with the cover having a golden upside-down horseshoe with a copper four-leaf clover in the center. The top of the cover said "Clover the Clever" in time-worn yet well done golden typography stitching.

I felt Discord's attention on the book again, but stayed silent as I opened up the book again and brought my knees to my chest to use as a stand as I wrote more. I decided to scratch out that last line about "speaking of Discord" as I couldn't think what  to write there, instead writing more of my thoughts of the world:

Moved to new location, Sweet Apple Acres. Or, at least what is left of it after Twilight abolished the area after the Moment of Tyranny.

There is nothing but scattered hay here now, as this place... I don't know if anyone from any branch of the Apple family tree, pun intended, is still alive and breathing... and this concerns me.

Everyone is gone...

I felt something soft lean against my side, and a grey stallion took the place of where the chimera once was, with mismatched wings and the same horns that Discord had. I couldn't help but smile slightly at the sight... I guess I'm on night-watch duty tonight. It only makes it fair... he's been the night-watch for the last few nights.

I watched him for another minute or so, sort of surprised he's still able to go into his pony form... despite having little to no energy to do any of the usual chaotic tricks he is renown for doing. Floating/flying and turning into a pony is probably his limit of terms of magic...

Shifting slightly to where his head rested more comfortably on my shoulder, it barely made him stir as I returned my attention to the quill in my hand and the words in the journal:

... yet everypony still lives.

There's a saying that I lived through back at Earth... that people, or ponies in this case, may not be immortal... but the memories you make will be. It depends if you want to or not. Inside our memories, they will be eternal.

Q is asleep now... so at least I'll be able to write this without risking him regaining memories or something happening that I know will hurt.

Fluttershy... poor Discord I know misses her dearly. The first friend he has ever made, one of the first two ponies I have ever seen/woken up to (the other being Twilight)... I wonder what Twilight did with the kind soul.

If we ever do come across her bones, or a grave if Twilight was that kind at the time of when she disposed of her, if she got rid of her... I don't know how well Discord will receive it.

Seconds in our heads are decades in reality. If you blink, your surroundings chance drastically.

It's not that I don't want Discord from realizing reality... its something that I lived through and learned you have to know, even if it drives you to the crevice of insanity. I know someday, or some-night, I can't barely tell which is which anymore... that at some time Discord will see Fluttershy... just not the way he remembers her. He still wants to save her from Twilight's control... but it's a couple hundred years late if she didn't make her immortal for her own cruel purposes, her philosophy that life shouldn’t exist because of her assistant’s passing... death, otherwise known as murder, and eternal life are everyday life now.

I better describe my surroundings for those who may find this in the distant future, maybe or maybe not when I somehow return to Earth;

I am Clover, a human "16 year-old" girl, or mare since I doubt whoever is reading this isn't human. Say what you want about my age and how my writing sounds "emo", however, that is not my intention. I happened to be transported to this world after receiving a necklace that had Clover’s cutiemark as its charm resting between my collarbones, the same design that decorates the center of the cover of this book, except the necklace looks like a silver imprint taken from a wax seal and the cutiemark is mirrored. If it wasn’t for the charm I now wear around my neck now and can't take off, I would still be at my first convention… at least, that’s how I remember it. It’s been so long… not that it’s a bad thing per-say.

I like this world, especially since I dressed up as Starswirl’s assistant at said convention. Now here I am, taking her place in the modern world of Equestria. I just hope the Shadow isn’t watching… it likes summoning those guards towards me and Discord, I can sense them because of the necklace. Others call it “the Pony of Shadows”... and I seem to be the only one who sees him as a morphed human-like creature. I can’t exactly tell...

I plan to write more when I have the time... but for now, I have to keep watch. Discord has been my friend for a very long time, and we've been companions and guardians of each other ever since Her tyranny and the rest of the royal line flushed from reality. She holds the most powerful artifacts in Equestria... Celestia thought it was a good idea, as she and eventually the rest of her friends and I thought she can keep them safe, after there has been threats of a alliance coming for those items... seems like the idea backfired as the once-thought artifacts of little power by themselves was able to turn Twilight into one of the worst tyrants Equestria has ever seen. We are lucky to be out alive. However... Celestia and Luna...

I glanced above me in thought... the sky changed slightly over the time we were here, as the stars rotated to where I could see two bright dots in the sky. One was orange and yellow, the other was blue and could be a miniature moon if you focused enough.

Celestia and Luna... forever trapped by Twilight's banishment when she sent them to the stars. The sisters are watching all of us with weary eyes... waiting for the time that Equestria will survive Twilight's reign. For now, and the last time a while back when I last saw her, she had the wings of a changeling, Sombra's horn replacing her own, Lord Tirek's piercing golden-black eyes, and unsaturated appearance as if Discord put a disharmony spell on her... even though that last part was because of her draining most of his magic with the Alicorn Amulet, rendering him as weak as an unicorn filly.

Celestia and Luna...

Please watch over us, your eternal Revolutionaries... guide us to those who need us...

We will soon save you from your prisons... time will tell if the once-student falls and comes back as the Princess of Friendship.

Carpe noctem.

Carpe diem.

Carthago delenda est...

~Clover the Clever

Sighing quietly, I softly closed the book, satisfied with what I wrote and with the temporary surroundings that was going on right now. Out of danger... for the moment. Even the Spirit of Chaos was enjoying the quiet as he was "asleep"... which definitely made me wonder how much reforming he has gone through in order for that to happen.

What I wrote in the book was nothing special, and probably not worth reading.