You say I'm a wifus stealer, I say your wifus are stealing me!

by ace_attorneyfan800

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 1707

How can a love potion cause paranoia for CHS? Ask Flash! The victim in this event, the one EVERYBDY wants to get in bed with! Flash: HELP MEEEEEEE!

My name is Flash Sentry, AND THERE'S A CRAP TON OF PEOPLE AFTER ME! HEEELLLLP!

Uh hello? I'm the author of this and from the looks of things Flash is in yet another pickle. No thanks though to a love potion that made it's way here to the human world by some idiot who wanted Flash to drink it and prove he's a wifu's stealer. But that backfired as now EVERYONE in school whats Flash in their bed! He just can't get a break can he?

(Not meant to be taken seriously. Rated Teen for sexual innuendos.)
(Cover art:http://asliceoflife.deviantart.com/art/Stealing-Ur-Waifus-Base-Art-557590842
by ASliceOfLife)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-06 02:40:01 UTC

You say I'm a wifus stealer, I say your wifus are stealing me!

"THERE HE IS! IT'S FLASH!"

"Ah crap." Flash said in fear as he looked at the mob of teenage girls and boys running towards him

High I'm Flash Sentry. You may be wondering just how I ended up in this predicament. Well it all started not just one hour ago....

"I'm telling you Flash you REALLY need to lighten up man. Twilight will come back you'll see." Sandalwood said to his friend as he chewed down on some rice

"I know but, I just can't get the feeling like something weird is about to happen." Flash said as he took a sip of some grape juice

"Flash weird things happen at this school 24/7!" Micro Chips said as he continued to try and solve the scrambled Rubik's Cube he held

"AAAAHHHH!"

"Sonata I told you that hot sauce would burn your tong!"

"YOU COULD'VE KILLED ME SWEET LEAF YOU ASSHOLE!"

"See?" Micro added

"Eh, I see your point." Flash said taking another sip, "I mean what's next someone spiking the drinks to make everyone fall in love?"

The three friends just laughed.

"Yeah like that'll ever happen." Micro said taking a sip of his milk

"Agreed." Sandalwood added taking a sip of some milk too

"Well I can say one thing is certain. Everything's just fine." Flash said taking a sip of his juice again, "He. Yeah right! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk-"

"Sooo dreaaamy."

"Huh?" Flash said looking around

"Over hear dream boat."

Flash then turned around to see Sunset's boobs right in his face.

"NYAAAAAA!" Flash screamed as he jumped off of his chair to see Sunset with a lustful gaze, "Whoop, Whoop, Whoop, Whoop, Whoop."

"Oooh. Flash. Has anyone ever told you that the het can make a human, hot?" Sunset said lustfully

"Uuuh Sunset? Are you okay?" Flash asked a little scared

Then Sunset proceded, to take her jacket and shirt off?!

"GAH! GOD LORD SUNSET PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON! HAVE YOU NO SHAME?!" Flash said as he covered his eyes

"But Flash, I love you." Sunset said

"Hey back off!" Micro said as he got in front of Flash

"Oh thank god! Thank you du-"

"He's mine!"

"Say wha?" Flash said in confusion

"No he's mine!" Sorin shouted

"No mine!" another student shouted

"MINE!"

"MINE!"

And then a fight occurred in the cafeteria. All of it focused on who Flash belonged to. Meanwhile Flash had slipped out during the commotion and ran to Vice Principal Luna's office and in  haste opened the door.

"VICE PRINCIPAL LUNA! *huff* SOMETHING WEIRD IS GOING ON  IN THE-Oh. Oooh my." Flash said with the last bit in a worried voice

There on her desk was Vice Principal Luna bare skin naked and exposing herself to the poor teen.

"There you are my love." Luna said lustfully, "Come. Let us be one."

"V-V-V-V-V-VICE PRINCIPAL LUNA! TH-TH-TH-TH-THIS IS AGAINST THE RULES! ST-ST-ST-STUDENT TEACHER RELATIONSHIPS ARE JUST WRONG!" Flash said frozen in place out of fear or horniness

"I'm making you horny am I?" Luna said with a playful giggle, "I can see the bulge in your pants."

Flash then looked down to see that indeed a bulge was appearing in your pants which made him all the more terrified. Then his legs stated moving on their own. It was like he wasn't in control of them anymore.

"WHAT THE HELL?! I'M NOT DOING THIS! SOMEONE HELP ME!" Flash shouted

"Heh, heh. Did that teach Cheerilee teach you nothing? When your hormones kick in, you have no control boy." Luna said in a lustful and in a way like she just claimed victory, My perfume did the trick easily especially when I put in in my pussy and between my breast."

"Darn! The two places I can never reach!" Flash said in rage as he clamped onto the door handle with his right hand to try and stop himself from moving which worked

"Why do you resist? Your fate is inevitable." Luna said as she got off her desk and made her way towards Flash, "Just accept that you are destined to belong to me and this can be done with quickly."

"THIS IS RAPE!" Flash said as he quickly got back in control of his legs and tried to make a run for it

"Rape? No. THIS! IS! LOVE!" Luna said cheerfully as she took off after Flash

Flash quickly ran to the janitor's closet where he locked himself in and heard banging coming from it.

"Ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! AH HA HA HA HA HAA! Can't rape me now can you!" Flash said boastfully

And then an ax blade came through the door.

"HOLY SHIT!" Flash said as he quickly hid in the janitor's locker

Through the hole  the ax made Luna's left hand entered and unlocked the door letting her enter.

"Huh? Where did he go?" Luna said looking all over the closet before noticing the locker, "Oh little Flashie you were not clever, now you'll be with me forever." she then sang in the style of Hypno's Lullaby

'Well I'm boned.' Flash thought

"Lunaaaaa!"

"Oh shoot! Sister!" Luna said in fear as she ran out of the closet

"Whew!" Flash said as he got out of the locker and ran out, "I gotta get to my car!"

And when he went around a corner, he found a dead end that lead to a half open window.

"Damn it!" Flash shouted before turning around and seeing the mob from the cafeteria.

"THERE HE IS! IT'S FLASH!"

"Ah crap." Flash said in fear as he looked at the mob of teenage girls and boys running towards him

And that's how I ended up in this situation. Seems hopeless for me right? Wrong.

'Well. I'm fucked.' Flash thought

He quickly went back to the dead end and saw the half open window again smiling as he went over to it and opened it fully. Jumping out he quickly shut the door which clicked as a sign of it being locked.

"I did it. I actually did it! I'm home free!" Flash said as he quickly ran to the parking lot while pulling out his car key, "I'M HOME FREE!"

Quickly opening the driver's side he got in quickly closing the door and put the key in and was about to start it up.

"Miss me?"

"Oh no." Flash squeaked in fear as his pupils dilated and eyes went wide

He quickly turned his head and saw the STILL naked body of Vice Principal Luna only this time showing black lipstick, nipple piercings, black nail polish on her finger nails and toe nails along with the design of the crescent moon on her big toe with a star on the others.

"Well, well, well. You're all mine now." Luna said as she grabbed flash by his shirt and pulled him over to her

'My choices are either get raped, get gang bang raped by the mob in school, or pull out my gun from the back and kill myself. Well this could've been worse.'

"Pucker up." Luna said as she went for a kiss

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Meanwhile....

A lone teenager with a shirt that said, "Wifu Stealer" underneath a picture of Human Flash's head watched as everything went down from the safety of the school security office.

"Damn. Well there goes that plan of trying to prove Flash as a wifu stealer." he groaned as he looked at the empty potion bottle that said "love potion"

"You desperate, desperate hater you."

"Huh? Who said that?" the Flash hater replied

All of a sudden the power went out and then the monitors all cam together to show the symbol of a giant crab from Peter Jackson's King Kong the Official Game of the Movie followed by Flash Sentry's cutie mark.

"What the?!"

Then a crow sound followed by the screen going black.

"YOU CRAVE HIS DEATH." the screen read, "YOU WANT HIM AWAY FROM TWILIGHT AND OUT OF THE SHOW."

"Huh?!"

"YOU WILL NEVER HAVE IT. AS LONG AS HE IS LIKED BY OTHER PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY SEE POTENTIALLY GREATNESS IN HIM, FLASH SENTRY WILL STAY FOREVER."

Then the power came back on and revealed Big Macintosh and a grey skinned looking version of Flash Sentry holding a baseball bat covered in barbwire at the top.

"Who in the heck are you? Some Flash Sentry reject! HAHAHAHA!" the flash hater laughed

"No. I'm just a protector of what is right. Look at you! You're using a damn love potion to try and prove something that you're just trying to make worse! And also this whole 'Wifu stealer' thing is just old and stupid man." Skull Island said, "Love and tolerate and grow up!"

"How about no!" the Flash hater yelled, "He must be destroyed-GAH! MY BALLLLS!"

Indeed his balls were hurting as the barbwire bat found its way downstairs which sent the Flash hater to the ground.

"I'll be back in an hour. Because I do believe somepony cheated in the Banned from Equestria game." Skull said with an evil smirk.

"Eeyup."Big Mac said as he began to remove his pants

"Oh fuck." The hater screamed

"Room for one more?" Skull asked

"Eeyup." Big mac said

And with his fate sealed the hater could do only one last thing. Scream.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"And that's the story of how Flash fell in love with Vice Principal Luna." Brawly Beats said as he lowered the flashlight

Flash, Ringo, and Micro Chips just stared at him, Flash with a state of shock.

"Brawly?" Flash said

"Yes?" Brawly asked

"You're no longer telling the spooky stories during one of our slumber parties." Flash said

"Flash get to bed it's 11:00!" Flash's mom shouted from her room

"Eek! Sorry mom!" Flash said as he lied  down on his bed while Brawly Beats, Ringo, and Micro Chips got in their sleeping bags.

"He, he. Hey Flash your mom is hot." Brawly said

"Well she is Milky Way." Ringo added making the two laugh

Which Flash then proceeded to drop vases on their heads shattering and knocking the two out.

"Good, NIGHT!" Flash said as he went back to bed