No Two Flakes

By Mist

Chapter I

So, you’ve come looking for another story have you? One would imagine you’ve grown sick of me telling you the tales that I have spun. Yes, I can feel it; you don’t want another macabre telling of heroes fighting against unbeatable odds, of killers who are being chased by the hand of justice only to just barely escape the grasp of the law, or of dark events that led to an ultimately darker future for unknowing protagonists. You don’t want to hear again about a lone warrior in the depths of a hell of unimaginable fighting against an unseen evil that he has no business attacking. You’ve grown weary of such things, haven’t you?

You’ve been hearing too many stories about seeking invaluable treasures and epic journeys with rewards beyond your wildest dreams. So this will not be another quest story about a young man who seeks out a fearless champion to defend the remnants of a former empire. It won’t be another story of a girl who can see into the depths of one’s soul and find their demise.

Here’s a story that I came up with just for you. It’s full of characters big and small, complex plot webs and overcoming obstacles that many may call relatable. All the things you like, and all the things that make up a good story, or at least good in my subjective viewpoint. Whether or not it’s truly good will be up to you, and I won’t be able to change that. I can’t promise you’ll fall in love with these characters and give a damn about their endeavors, but I can try my best to tell you about something interesting, something relatable and maybe even something that brings a smile to your face. If you’ve come this far then that means you’re more than likely to actually give this story a chance. Studies show that people can generally tell if they are going to continue reading something after the third paragraph, and since you have made it this far to this paragraph that means you are ready to make your decision. Let’s get on with the story then, shall we? Unless you’ve decided against it at this point, in which case this is all irrelevant.

Like any good story it needs a setting, doesn’t it? How about a battle ground soaked with the stench of war and treason? Of a time period where the only law in the land is measured in bullets and desire? Of a place full of depravity, paranoia and blood lust?

No, I only jest. I already told you that this isn’t that kind of story didn’t I? You need to pay closer attention then my friend. I apologize in advance for how many times I may mislead you; I do so only in good fun though. Take what I say with a grain of salt, will you? You will? Excellent.

Our story actually begins in a place called Canterlot City. It’s about a large city with a heavy focus on community. There’s an abundance of parks and recreational areas for families and students. Students especially get a lot of love from this fair city as it’s one of the biggest education capitals in the country, housing over nineteen of the most prestigious universities, four community colleges and a handful of high schools. People from all over the world come to study here and taste the food.

Ah yes, the cuisine is second to none I’ll have you know. Canterlot City is well known for its culinary offerings. Many whom have traveled to the city for study ended up staying and setting up shop here upon graduation, so you’re likely to meet people from many different walks of life. You could probably walk a mile down its gorgeous avenues and bump into someone from every country in the world on that single road.

Some would even go as far as to call Canterlot City the center of the country due to how lavish and loved it is, despite being closer to its east coast. Near the business section, it becomes so crowded during the weekdays that it would only take a blink to be lost in the vast crowds.

However, our story takes place in the far less crowded area, just past the educational epicenter of Canterlot City and about a mile from the Canterlot Community College (or CCC as it’s known) on Twin Avenue, where two building sit on either side of the street squeezed between several fast food joints, a bus stop, a library and a gym.

Our attention should be turned to these two buildings I mentioned before, which happen to be named the Canterlot Elemental Sun Apartments and the Quiet Moon Residential Center respectively. Two very different names, however, they have a few things in common; for starters, they are owned by two sisters whom don’t really see the other as competition, if anything they’ve learned to coexist without any problems, and often hold events that both buildings partake in.

While the two buildings shared a lot of similarities, Elemental Sun’s floor plan included the landlord and staff offices on the top floor, while the Quiet Moon featured that area in the basement. The other major difference was the layout of the apartments. Elemental Sun focuses more on an open dining room and living room, while Quiet Moon features apartments with all closed off rooms. Essentially this means that Quiet Moon is more geared towards those who seldom have guests or need more privacy.

The other thing they have in common is that our story’s protagonists reside split amongst both of them, but for now we’re going to move our focus over to the Elemental Sun as that’s where everyone is gathered currently. Seldom are we so lucky to poke our heads into these character’s world and find a time where the lot of them are all at the same place at the same time, but it just so happens we are very fortunate today. Then again I chose this time myself so that such an event would happen, so perhaps you can simply thank me instead of the gods of luck for this convenience.

The Elemental Sun has four floors, but right now we’re going to focus our attention on the second floor apartment 2E. This particular suite is owned by a Miss Twilight Sparkle.

Twilight is a pretty strange girl, who is well on her way to becoming a master of all things chemical. Within the next few months she will be finishing her doctorate in chemistry and seeking career options beyond your wildest dreams. With high ambitions, Twilight is the kind of girl who dreams big and has the skills to back up those dreams. While she is very approachable and almost motherly, she is often stumped by social formalities. Some might say that Twilight is a bit blunt and it’s easy for jokes and sarcasm to go right over her head.

When she’s not busy studying or having her nose dug deep into a book (or three) she could often be found hosting events for the entire group to partake in. Being the oldest at the age of twenty-six, she was often the most responsible of them all, and thus why a majority of holiday events were hosted in her apartment rather than others. We’ll talk more about her in a bit.

In this cold month of November, winter was creeping around the corner and as a result the heat was cranked up full blast so that none of the guests would be burdened by the cold weather. Not a single expense was spared for the comfort of her friends, especially on this day which happened to be a time of family and gathering. The date was November 24th, Thanksgiving day.

In her tired hands, the tall woman placed a well roasted turkey onto the long table she had borrowed from her close friend Pinkie in the center of her dining room. She had been up all night studying before the break and then begun preparing this gathering without much rest in between. Signs of fatigue were evident on her face. Bags under her eyes were hardly hidden behind her thick rimmed glasses, weighing down her lilac shaded eyes. Her normally well kept plum colored hair had a few cowlicks that were noticeable even from a distance. The girl had grown so busy that her bright pink highlight had begun to fade and little effort was made to do the touch up work.

“Damn, I am starving! Figures that Twi would know how to cook a turkey that smells that good.” The voice of a young girl at the far right end of the table spoke in response to the delicious aroma now filling the room thanks to Twilight’s fine cooking.

This girl’s name was Rainbow Dash and she was the short fuse of the group. She was most commonly known for her short stature, immature humor, crude language and competitive nature. She was the second youngest of the group; however she was always treated as the kid sister of everyone, much to her disapproval. Already she was unzipping her designer hoodie as she prepared for an extruding stomach that would no doubt be caused by engulfing Twilight’s mighty cooked bird so fast that she probably may be skipping more than a few breaths to do so. As she reached over the bird, one would notice that her dark tinted skin almost matched the turkey.

“Careful, Rainbow. You don’t want another incident like last year where you were in pain for two days from overeating.” The soon to be doctor said with a giggle as she took her seat.

Twilight pulled on the hem of her sweater vest. The article of clothing contoured to her shape quite well as it sat over her button up blouse. She had a rather professional attire for the most part with a minor touch of fun thrown in. Her usual outfits consisted of a nice blouse, skirts and trainers. While they were not as professional as the rest of her ensemble, she found trainers to be more comfortable. Now and then she would also wear some darker colored jeans when she was feeling “casual”, as she put it.

Rainbow Dash shrugged as she responded, “It’s worth it for your food.”

Next to her, a maiden only a year her senior chuckled while covering her mouth with the cuff of her banana colored sweater to contain her laughter. “Does that mean I need to be at your apartment tomorrow to make sure you haven’t died again?” She joked with Rainbow.

Rainbow merely rolled her eyes at the comment.

That would be Fluttershy Flowers, who attended high school with Rainbow and her best friend since elementary school. Fluttershy’s interests included animals, gardening and, when no one was looking, singing. Though despite their extremely different tastes, Fluttershy would often listen as best she could when Rainbow talked sports; even if she didn’t understand what she was talking about a majority of the time. While they were almost polar opposites, they were inseparable.

“Pfft, I have been preparing for this for weeks.” Rainbow boasted as she puffed out her chest a bit.

Fluttershy just let off a sigh and fidgeted with her sweater some more.

A young man across from the quiet Fluttershy gave a dismissive hand gesture before chiming in. “Oh whatever. I’m sure she’ll be fine.” He said.

Ah yes, that would be Soarin Sky. Pretty masculine fellow if I do say so myself. He was the star of nearly every sports team that he joined, and attends Canterlot Community College (or CCC if you remember) with both Fluttershy and Rainbow. He likes to be the center of attention and that was most definitely his inspiration to becoming the MVP on any team he was on. Soarin was definitely what you would probably refer to as “one of the boys”.

Twilight rolling her eyes at the conversation going on as she offered her carving knife to her sibling sitting next to her. The young teen took the knife and leaned over the turkey and began making precise slices. Twilight smiled and patted his shoulder as he performed the carving for her. “Thank you, Spike.” She said.

Spike was the youngest of the group at only seventeen. Still in high school, he hardly fit in with the crowd of college students and older adults, but Twilight always brought him along to every event she held. You wouldn’t guess it from Spike’s gruff behavior (and of course his denial left and right) but he loved his elder sister even since he was adopted into her family at the age of seven.

As he finished carving, he began to pass out slices across the table, starting with his sister then working his way around clockwise until he landed upon a slender and elegantly dressed woman sitting across from him. He paused for a brief moment as he met her blue eyes. With his eyes, he traced the outline of her delicate face, taking in all the details he could in a few seconds, and, with how often that face was in his mind, he could nearly draw it within a second or two in his head.

Her features were subtle, but noticeable. Her lashes were decorated with just the right amount of mascara, and right under her right eye a small beauty mark was present. She had her hair done in some wild wavy curls today, and he could certainly see its magnificent shine even in the low lighting of the room. His eyes wandered to her smile which was complemented with some bright cherry red lipstick on her full lips. She had perhaps the most gorgeous lips he had ever seen in his life.

“Thank you, Spike…” She smiled at him as she took her plate gracefully.

“You’re welcome, Rarity.” Spike nodded at the woman as he did a quick once over of her outfit.

A white dress draped over her figure and left her neck and upper chest open for a lavish looking necklace sporting enough diamonds to probably cover a year’s worth of Spike’s rent to hang over it. The girl was stunning to say the least. He had to divert his eyes after only a few second though so as not to draw attention to himself for staring.

The young lady adjusted in her seat and crossed her legs as she placed her plate down on her placemat. “I love what you’ve done with the place, Twilight dear.” She said.

Twilight smiled and nodded as she raised a glass of wine she had poured for herself in Rarity’s direction. “Thank you”, Twilight replied.

Rarity Belle, that was her name. She was a fashion student at the Fashion Institute here in Canterlot City and top of her class. She had moved here only a few years ago and lived directly below Spike in Apartment 1D. Spike had admired her from probably the day she moved in about two years ago even if she was a bit older than him. At the age of twenty she gave off an aura of being much older and far more mature.

“You really need to tell me where you got this glass set, dear. I’d love a set of my own.” Rarity commented as she admired the glass in front of herself.

Twilight shrugged at the fashionista and gave a simple response, “I believe my mother gave them to me at some point. I can’t quite remember.”

Rarity nodded as she took a sip of water from her glass, “Well, she has good taste.” She commented.

“Thank you.” Twilight replied.

“Twilight usually has some pretty neato stuff.” That comment was delivered from a girl at the other end of the table.

Do you remember Twilight’s friend Pinkie that I mentioned? That was her. Pinkie Pie was the second oldest and actually lived in the other apartment building. She was a thicker girl; fun loving and probably the easiest person to make laugh you’d ever meet. Giggling was practically half of her vocabulary. She’d crack a joke at least once every conversation you had with her. To say she loved humor would have been an understatement.

It was difficult for anyone to get a good read on Pinkie simply because she was able to disguise her true thoughts behind a smile at almost any given time. Pinkie’s attire always seemed to sport some interesting accessories, today it was a feather earring on one ear and a hairpin shaped like a frog in her wild hair.

“Ah’ll say.” A country accent echoed from a girl sitting next to Rarity.

Ah yes, the country bumpkin there would be Applejack Apple. Originally from the country, Applejack, or AJ as she liked to be called, moved up here to Canterlot City from down south. She spent most of her life on a farm and was here to get a business degree so she could set up shop for herself somewhere when she graduated. While she wasn’t very book smart, AJ had a quick wit and blistering honesty at times. AJ could probably give Twilight a run for her money in terms of bluntness. Her time here in Canterlot city would also make her a bit more adapted to city life. Many of the group remembered when she first arrived how she wore a stetson everywhere.

That’s enough introductions for now; we’ll get to a lot of the other characters later. I wouldn’t want to bore you with nonstop mundane descriptions of trivial details.

When Spike came around to Fluttershy, she shook her head and declined the offer of meat. “Oh, sorry. I forgot.” Spike apologized for his lapse of memory.

“It’s alright,” She replied with a gentle smile crawling onto her face.

Fluttershy had gone vegetarian in middle school. Back then she used to go on long rants about the terrible horrors of meat and its consumption. She had learned to keep her beliefs a bit more to herself since then, and thus why it was even possible to forget that the young woman did not partake in the consumption of flesh products, even on Thanksgiving. This often led to much teasing amongst her peers.

“Man, I still don’t get why you don’t eat meat; shit is so good.” A rather ecstatic Rainbow spoke, already shoveling bites in despite gaining some less than ideal looks for both starting before everyone had food and for talking with her mouth full.

“Language, darling. It’s Thanksgiving.” Rarity chimed in, quickly taking the chance to censor Rainbow’s usually “colorful” vocabulary.

The young Rainbow just rolled her eyes, “Man, back at home we-“

“Yes, we know. You’d behave like cavemen and grunt as you ate with your hands.” Rarity smirked.

Rainbow only chuckled, followed by her saying, “Yeah, probably.”

Many would take the relationship that Rainbow and Rarity had as hostile, but it actually was a very odd form of respect. The two girls came from completely different walks of life, and lacked an understanding of the other. To make up for this, they often joked about their obviously completely warped ideas of what the other’s background must be like. This was a form of bonding for the two when they couldn’t find common ground.

“I can only imagine what it must have been like where you grew up…” Fluttershy stated, clearly in a harmless manner.

“Well, I can say we’d be eating like kings if this was our spread.” Rainbow nudged her friend’s shoulder as she responded.

“Twi always delivers. Shucks, some lucky fella is goin’ to get a great wife.” AJ teased as she reached in to grab some mashed potatoes to add to her already overflowing plate.

Rainbow quivered her lip a bit at that comment. She didn’t want to imagine Twilight shackled down with some guy who only appreciated her cooking; though she too could appreciate Twilight’s cooking, the woman had a lot more qualities worthy of admiration.

Everyone had finally received their cut of meat (or lack thereof if you were Fluttershy) and were more than satisfied with their haul from the bowls, plates, pots and serving dishes upon the table. The group enjoyed their meal with laughter, anecdotes, and discussion of plans of what they were going to do for the upcoming holidays.

Rarity pulled herself away from the table and retreated to the kitchen to retrieve herself another glass of water. Spike, watching her, gave casual chase and met her there. He paused to examine her backside. While he tried to think of the better qualities of Rarity such as her adorable habits, refined taste and kind demeanor, even he could not deny that she had the allure that only an attractive woman could have. His eyes fixated on the rounded shape of her rear as she stood in front of the refrigerator. Quickly, her cleared the perverse thoughts out of his head and approached with his glass in hand.

Leaning next to her against the wall near the fridge, he asked “So, Rarity… You going back home for Christmas?”

She shook her head, “Not really. My sister and I will probably stay here while mother and father return home. It certainly will be an odd thing not spending Christmas with them.”

“Maybe you could spend Christmas with us?” Spike inquired.

She gave that warm smile that he loved so much. Her face had the look of innocence and delight that he couldn’t resist. Rarity could probably charm him into giving her his wallet with little to no effort if she wanted to.

“That’s very thoughtful of you, Spike. I’ll see if I can make it.” She said as she retrieved a bottle of water out of the fridge and held it gently in her elegant hands for a moment, examining it before deciding she was happy enough with it to open it.

“Yeah, well I figured you wouldn’t want to be alone on Christmas…” He chuckled nervously and gave a gentle look from the side of his face.

Rarity blinked and took a step toward him. With her free hand, she placed it upon his shoulder as she examined him. He was probably a few inches shorter than her due to his age, but he had a rather adorable baby face. His clean face told her that he wasn’t old enough to rapidly grow facial hair just yet, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

He was an innocent young man in her mind, and she couldn’t imagine someone his age that had more respect for a lady than he. Spike was often looking out for her well being and she made sure to always speak her appreciation.

“Spike, you’re really thoughtful… I am lucky to have a friend as considerate as you.” She smiled.

His eyes moved to her hand on his shoulder before returning to meet her radiant blue eyes. His voice grew soft and quiet, “Well… I just try and look out for you.”

“How’d I get so lucky?” She responded.

He shrugged. “Who knows?”

With a small giggle, she retrieved her hand and nodded. “I’m sure I’ll be able to make it, but I’ll check my schedule to be sure.”

He could only get himself to nod as his throat was still full of the frog he was trying to swallow from talking to her.

This was a usual back and forth with him and her. Rarity was elegant, refined, beautiful, the kind of woman that Spike dreamed of, but probably could never get the courage to make an advance upon. The woman was, for lack of a better term, “out of his league” as he put it. Still though, she had a very older sister-like affection towards him. Rarity often made herself difficult to read, as Spike often questioned if her nice gestures were intended as invitations; not that it would matter as he lacked the courage to find out.

Rarity exited casually and Spike watched her hips sway as she left him standing there. “Fuck…” He cursed to himself for his lack of confidence.

Back in the dining room after some time had passed meals were devoured and the guests of Twilight’s abode had engaged in idle chit chat and party gossip. Splitting into groups and wandering about the apartment, conversation was in the air.

“So, how’s the tutoring with Twilight going?” Fluttershy asked Rainbow as she sipped on some juice she had brought with her. Fluttershy often brought many of her homemade juices with her wherever she went and Rainbow always assumed she was either on some weird juice diet or that it was part of the whole vegetarian thing.

Rainbow groaned as the subject got brought up. “Frustrating… Twilight practically talks in another language, which doesn’t help when I already have no fucking idea what those textbooks are saying as it is…”

Fluttershy giggled and gave a sneer. “Is that the only reason it’s so frustrating?”

Rainbow knew what she was getting at, but responded also in a very joking manner as well. “Well, that and the fact that Twilight is hot as hell…” She winked.

The shy friend couldn’t help but blush and almost choke on her drink. She wasn’t expecting Rainbow to play along; she had only hoped to annoy her by picking on her crush on Twilight.

“Trust me, I’ve considered just grabbing that girl and bending her over those textbooks…” Rainbow began, knowing it would get her friend flustered and embarrassed.

Sure enough, she was correct, as Fluttershy began fidgeting and trying to look away, clearly hoping that this conversation would just disappear. When it was clear that it would not, she stuttered up a reply. “I… Umm… Well… I don’t think that would… be a very good idea… That is… To say…” She could barely make eye contact with her perverted friend as she rambled.

Rainbow just let out a hearty laugh and slapped the girl’s back in a sportsmanlike fashion that the young girl wasn’t used to. Fluttershy only grunted as some of the wind was knocked out of her. She was rather weak and frail, and certainly not athletic.

“Chill, I’m just trying to get you wound up.” Rainbow smirked.

“Well, it worked… You know I don’t handle… those kind of conversations well…” She looked down at her juice, trying to hide her blush with her long shining pink hair draping down over the right side of her face. Fluttershy’s hair often reminded Rainbow of silk blankets with its shine and smoothness. It was long enough to flow down past her buttocks, and had not a single split end to be seen. In gym class, Rainbow often got much amusement in seeing the long gorgeous mane in a ponytail for some reason. Maybe it was because she found it interesting that such amazing hair could be contained by a simple hair band.

“Maybe if we replaced Twilight with Soarin, ya homophobe.” Rainbow’s smirk grew as she teased.

Fluttershy squeaked at that comment and covered her mouth. “Shhh, don’t say that… It’s weird when you do…”

The jock blinked and grew what she often referred to as a “shit eating grin” before getting extremely close to her friend, almost whispering in her ear. “Oh my god… You actually like him?”

Fluttershy instantly denied it. “No! It’s not like that!”

“No fucking way! Why didn’t you tell me!? We’re like best friends, what gives!?” Rainbow had the pouting face of a child as she feigned being offended.

“Look… It’s not important, it’s not like he would even notice me anyways. I’m invisible on top of the fact that I’m not a cheerleader. He has girls literally cheering for him every other day…” Fluttershy sighed.

Rainbow just nodded in agreement. “Yeah, Soarin’s got game, that’s for sure. Shit, back home he’d probably even give some of my crew a run for their money in some ball. However, when it comes to soccer… I’d say he’s only a hair better than me.” Rainbow leaned in and, in a hushed tone, nearly whispered the next part. “I’ve beaten him a few times in some park games before, but he’ll never admit it.”

Fluttershy would have found it hard to believe that Soarin could lose to anyone after she had seen him play, but she had also seen Rainbow play, and, if they had been in the same division, Rainbow might possibly be a threat to his MVP status.

“It’s too bad that I’m not on the team…” Fluttershy sighed.

“Yeah, your game is garbage.” Rainbow agreed.

“Gee… Thanks…” Fluttershy rolled her eyes.

“Hey dog, I wouldn’t be a good homie if I pumped you full of hot air, would I?”

Fluttershy just shrugged. “Guess not.”

“See, I’m too good to you.” Rainbow reached over and began to give her friend a noogie that she attempted to get away from to no avail.

With a laugh and a sigh, Rainbow finally let up and leaned back, letting her shoulders rest against the wall behind her. “Now if only I could figure out a solution to my Twilight problem…”

“By Twilight problem, do you mean the fact that you want to do things unholy and impure to her?” Fluttershy taunted and rolled her eyes.

With her muzzle in a cup, Rainbow gave a snarky response. “In an ideal world, she would want me to do such things. God knows I’d treat her right.”

“I question if anyone knows what is going on in your messed up mind.” Fluttershy replied.

“Probably for the best.” Rainbow winked. “Who knows what I’m thinking about you in here…” She tapped her head as she said that.

“Gross.” Fluttershy wretched at the thought.

“Ouch, you’re cuttin’ deep, girl.” Rainbow snickered, clearly trying to demonstrate that her offense was facetious.

Twilight engaged her friend Applejack in conversation while she washed dishes from the dinner in the kitchen. Her sleeves were rolled up and she was trying to keep the water running low so she could hear her acquaintance while she worked.

Applejack adjusted her ridiculous Christmas sweater that she had been wearing just a little early in the year, before reaching into the fridge to grab a soda. Popping the tab, she took a huge gulp.

“So yeah, things are messed up to say the least…” Applejack tried to contain a belch as she spoke.

Twilight nodded. “Often times people have a difficult time maintaining social appearances when such things occur. I mean, you’ve been doing this back and forth for nearly a year now, haven’t you?”

Applejack rolled her eyes and nodded, sighing as she did so. “Yeah, yeah… What can Ah’ say? The situation jus’ gets weirder and weirder…”

This was a topic that the two brought up often, as Twilight was the only person that AJ ever confided in about this particular subject, even though she wasn’t the best for seeking advice upon it. Perhaps she just enjoyed venting to someone.

“Honestly, AJ, I hope you really… what was it… ‘Shit or get off the pot’?” She sounded very unsure of her own words.

AJ just became puzzled with a raised brow. “What?”

Twilight shrugged. “Rainbow Dash uses the phrase from time to time. I believe it roughly translates to the concept of either do something or don’t and stop tormenting yourself by dangling it in front of yourself.”

“Y’all really shouldn’t add her vocab to your own. No ‘fense, but it don’t exactly suit you.” AJ covered her mouth as she snickered a bit.

Twilight merely frowned as she set down another dish into the drying rack. She almost had a pouting face as she spoke. “I thought I handled the metaphor quite well…”

“Well, keep workin’ on it…” Applejack jested.

Twilight merely rolled her eyes in response.

“Anyways… So y’all still plan on us all meetin’ up on Christmas night for dinner at your place again?” AJ changed the subject.

Twilight perked up a bit and nodded with a grin. “Of course. After everyone’s already done their own personal celebrations, I thought we could start a new tradition of us all getting together. My parents will be visiting in the morning and I know a lot of the others have engagements, but it’d be nice if we all could get together again like this.”

Applejack nodded and smiled as well. “Yeah, Ah’m sure it’ll be a great Christmas.”

“I sure hope so.” Twilight replied.

Author's Note

Hey, thanks for reading. I will be using these author's notes sections to talk about the making of the story. It was a long production time. The story was originally supposed to release in 2015, but some complications came up and I didn't want to not release this around Christmas time, so the story was pushed back to 2016, which means it was over a year and a half in production. The character designs for the cover were done by my wife Anni Asylum, and vectored by myself. There were around 20+ different concept drawings made for this story, and many characters went through several design changes.

This first chapter was crucial to establishing the characters. In earlier versions the snarky narrator was debated if he would stay in the story, but a good chunk of the pre-readers really seemed to enjoy him so he ended up staying, albeit making lessor appearances throughout the story.