No Two Flakes

By Mist

Chapter VII

So at this point, you’re probably curious about what’s going to happen to our protagonists? Does Spike get the lovely Rarity’s present and woo her over? How will Cloudchaser deal with the loss of her beloved Applejack? Will Twilight find a way to get the pig headed Rainbow to talk to her again? What really happened between Soarin and the dainty Fluttershy? And how will Rainbow and Rarity dig themselves out of the trouble they’ve managed to brew up? These are all valid questions, but we’re only at the halfway point of our story. You must not be so impatient, it’s really not becoming of you.

You’ll just have to let me tell the story and be patient. I suppose we can start with Spike and his (sort of) sidekick Applebloom. I mean after all, when we last left them, Spike had cooked up a rather ridiculous plan to sell weed to get Rarity’s gift. I’m sure you remember that don’t you? Well, let’s pop in and see how that is going for him.

Applebloom lit a cigarette and took an inhale. She sighed in relief as she enjoyed the menthol instead of the tar that Spike currently had to smoke. She had decided she was going to get her own pack instead of sharing with him. So she slipped an older friend a ten and had him get her a pack. As she exhaled she definitely felt it was worth it.

“I am still surprised you gave up buying new cigs to save cash, I’d have given up eating first.” She joked.

Spike rolled his eyes. “I’ve definitely given up eating comfortably if that counts.” He recalled the small selection of food back at his apartment as he said that. The next few days were definitely not going to be filled with comfort food that was for sure.

“Rarity better be all over you after this.” Applebloom commented.

Spike merely rolled his eyes again.

The two were leaning against the old grange across from the school. The place had been abandoned for as long as they could remember, but a lot of the kids would come out there to smoke so they would be within the law of not smoking near the school.

It was near sundown as the two staked out the area.

“Y’all sure we are gonna be able to pull this off?” She asked.

He nodded. “Positive, it’s easy. I stole the janitor’s keys today when he wasn’t looking. I spent a good long while figuring out which one is which, and all we gotta do is wait for the janitor to go home and then we sneak in and use his keys to get to the principle’s office. Simple.”

She laughed, “Y’all are making me all hot and bothered with that tough guy talk.” Applebloom gave a playful nudge as she spoke and took another drag of her cigarette.

“Keep it in your pants.” He rolled his eyes.

“Hey, I’m a team player here. I think I deserve some of that Rarity action too for my contribution.” She pouted.

Spike blinked and turned to her. “I didn’t even think you were into girls…”

She shrugged. “I’ll try anything once, but I’ve seen that Rarity. I don’t think you can handle those tits alone.” She smirked.

“God damn it, Applebloom, that’s gross…” He fake gagged.

She snickered knowing she was bothering him, which was part of her goal. Spike was often off put by her perverted nature. “Well the offer is on the table if you come to your senses.” She joked.

“I question why we hang out…” Spike sighed as he returned to his cigarette.

“Well we could just be fuck buddies if y’all weren’t so sensitive.” She reminded, they had had this conversation one too many times for Spike’s liking.

“I also question how your sister doesn’t know what a little pervert her younger sibling is…” He laughed.

She shrugged again. “AJ’s not the most observant person y’all have ever met is she? Nothing like Big Mac, he’s a hawk with this kind of stuff.”

“So how did you get to be such a pervert if you don’t mind me asking?” This time Spike was genuinely curious.

“My old friend Scootaloo came over a lot, and I went to her house pretty often. Her parents weren’t very watchful and thus we got into stuff a lot.” She smiled as she began reminiscing of the good old days. “Oh man, I remember when she first showed me porn. When I got internet at home, I didn’t get any sleep for four nights.” She chuckled.

“Some therapist is going to make a fortune off of you…” Spike commented.

“Hey I think I see the janitor leaving.” Applebloom pointed with her cigarette still in hand off into the distance. Squinting they could make out a custodian exiting the building and getting into his car. It was far later than they thought he would leave. Spike cursed under his breath at how thorough the cleaning staff were tonight of all nights.

He tossed his cigarette onto the ground and stamped it out. “Okay, let’s do this.”

Applebloom nodded as she pulled the black winter cap out of her bag. Placing it atop of her head, she tucked the bow in her hair underneath it. The young teen had a black turtleneck sweater to match it, and Spike donned his solid black hoodie, which he flipped the hood over his short hair. The two had agreed earlier to wear all black to make themselves harder to see, just in case they did get caught.

“You still remember how to pick locks just in case?” Spike asked as the two crossed the street keeping their heads down. At this hour there were few cars crossing and the area was virtually unpopulated. Staying out of the streetlights, they got to the main door.

Retrieving the keys from his front hood pocket, Spike unlocked the door. “So far so good.” He offered a high five which Applebloom took.

“Let’s go snag this stuff.” Applebloom commented.

The two of them slipped in and shut the door behind them. Years of navigating the halls told them where to go. Spike knew that when Vice Principal Doodle confiscated anything, he handed it off to the principal, so that meant they would need to get into the principal’s office.

The halls felt strange with not a soul in them. Spike was only used to seeing the school relatively empty when he had detention, and Applebloom during the few times when she joined him for detention.

Arriving at the principal’s office Spike tried to push the key in, only to find it didn’t want to go in no matter which way he tried to force it. “Damn it! They must have gotten a new lock recently… Look at the handle, it’s brand new…” Spike pointed to the handled as he threw the entire key ring onto the ground in anger.

“Calm down. I got this.” Applebloom knelt down onto her knees and retrieved a hair pin from her thick red locks. She reached to put it into the lock, but paused right before it and turned to Spike with a smirk. “While I’m down here…” She joked.

She just couldn’t resist the urge to make an innuendo, and Spike should have expected that. “For the love of God, Applebloom; just open the damn lock!”

She snickered and began to fiddle with the tumblers. “Your loss. I’ve watched a lot of videos…” She hinted.

With a bit of finesse she got the lock open. “You know, y’all really are super lucky to have me as a friend you know that? Smart, talented, skilled with a hair pin and totally down to doing the nasty with you.” She praised herself.

“I can’t hear you over the sound of you patting yourself on the back.” Spike laughed as he pushed the door open. “Now come on, let’s get this stuff.”

“Get what stuff if I may ask?” A womanly voice spoke to them.

Spike and Applebloom looked up to see an attractive woman in her early thirties standing in the doorway. She had her hands tucked into an overcoat that was covering her professional dress suit. Her hair was done up in a ponytail of pink, purple and light banana yellow. The two of them only really had seen her at assemblies or official school events; often it was the job of Vice Principal Doodle to handle all of the lesser trouble makers. It was Principal Cadance.

“Shit…” Spike cursed.

“Just curious…” Applebloom started as she brought herself to a stand. “Did you unlock the door?”

Cadance blinked and nodded.

“Damn, I guess my lock picking isn’t as great as I thought…” She shrugged.

“You really need to get your priorities in order, you know that?” Spike sighed as he shook his head, accepting their fate.

Rainbow stepped awkwardly in her feminine high heel shoes, Rarity however obviously had worn such things so many times she had no trouble. Rainbow adjusted her black dress that was a tad too big for the slender girl. Her height and low weight always made it difficult to find girly looking clothing that fit her. This dress she commonly wore to funerals and was the only dress she owned. She hoped it was good enough to make her pass off as a girly-girl; the shoes were provided from Rarity.

Rainbow’s side cut was done up in a big poofed up ponytail and a hair clip with a little black bow was fastened to the right side of her head.

Looking over at Rarity, she was sporting a low cut white dress shirt purposely cut short enough to expose her stomach. Under that she had a simple dark purple skirt and some solid purple high heels. She had mentioned before that they were designer shoes, but to Rainbow all of those brands looked exactly the same.

Rarity was absolutely gorgeous, tall, beautiful and looked good in just about anything she put on, due to having the body to show it off. Rainbow was almost a little jealous, but she tried to keep the focus on the task at hand.

“Alright, let’s make sure we keep our story straight. You’re my girlfriend and we are international drug dealers that came back here on holiday if anyone asks.” Rainbow explained.

“Ordinarily that would be a terrible alibi…” Rarity giggled.

“Yes, but we want these guys to trust us. Forewarning, we have to sell this so you need to be all over me for this to work.” Rainbow replied.

Rarity rolled her eyes. “I’m an excellent actor I’ll have you know.” She grinned.

“Just don’t turn gay on me for real, alright?” Rainbow joked.

“I’ll try my best.” Rarity Smirked.

Rainbow couldn’t read if she was being legitimate or not. Part of her was starting to wonder if Rarity was into girls. If she was, it would be impossible to tell. In the short time the two had spent together, Rainbow was showing her true perverted self and it seldom seemed to affect Rarity who kept her desires to herself. She would always go on about being a lady.

The two had spoken with CJ and planned this all out. To get to Ice they needed to know where to find him. They knew he controlled the biggest gang in town and that whole side of the town, but where he was actually located was a mystery. Getting close enough to him to stop him would require some information. With a tip from a friend, CJ managed to find out that a lot of Ice’s crew hung out at this club when the streetlights came on. They had decided to infiltrate it and see if they could get one of Ice’s guys to squeal some info.

“So, we’re looking for any one of these guys.” Rainbow said flashing some photos they had acquired.

“So these are Ice’s right hand men, huh?” Rarity asked.

Rainbow nodded. “If anyone will know where we can find Ice, it’ll be one of these guys; it’s just a matter of getting them to talk.”

Rainbow offered her hand to the elegant Rarity who took it. “Remember, we have to sell this. Lots of affectionate crap, you know how it is.”

“I am familiar with the nature of lovers…” Rarity rolled her eyes.

The pretend couple made their way through the doors of what called itself “The Night Scene”. Upon entering they were instantly overwhelmed with music so loud that you would have to shout just to hear the person next to you. Lights flashed left and right as people danced and gyrated insanely.

Rainbow leaned in to speak into Rarity’s ear. “Let’s dance a little, you know how?”

Rarity grinned and leaned back to talk to her friend. “You tell me.”

Liking her answer, Rainbow took Rarity’s hand and lead her to the dance floor. Not even wasting a minute, she pulled the tall girl in and placed a hand on her hip, running it down her figure and grabbing a squeeze of Rarity’s interesting behind. She blushed a little at the touch, but kept her composure.

Rarity giggled and looked Rainbow in the eyes, “Careful, tiger. This is only a first date.” She smirked.

Rainbow grinned back. “Never stopped me before.”

“I’m not that easy.” The tall girl winked.

The two began moving to the beat, to Rainbow’s surprise, Rarity actually knew how to move. Rarity flipped around and grinded against Rainbow, whom placed her hands on Rarity’s hip and stomach to keep the motions going. She took note of a stranger in the distance watching the two of them on the dance floor. He had long rugged hair and an untamed beard. She recognized him from the photos. She whispered to Rarity as she gyrated in front of her. “We have an observer.”

Rarity smiled and placed a hand in Rainbow’s hair. “Guess we better give him a show.”

Rainbow and her both made sure to look over to him and make eye contact as Rarity grabbed Rainbow’s cheeks. Unsure of where this was going, Rainbow blushed and gasped as she tried to speak. “I… Uh… Wha?” She didn’t have time to finish before Rarity leaned in and planted a deep kiss upon her lips. Shocked at first as their lips met, she kept her eyes wide open in disbelief. Once she had accepted what was going on, she closed her eyes and put both of her hands in Rarity’s hair and tugged. The girl let out a soft moan at the tug before Rainbow released her.

The two began laughing and looked over at their observer who was still watching intently. He gestured with his finger for the two to approach him.

As they delicately trotted in his direction, Rainbow took Rarity’s arm.

“Well hey stranger.” Rainbow introduced. “I saw you looking.”

He nodded and lit a cigarette. “Name’s Wolf.”

“I’m Rainbow, and this is my mistress Rarity.” Rainbow pointed to Rarity as she spoke.

“It’s a pleasure.” Rarity offered her hand.

He took his cigarette out of his mouth to take her hand and plant a kiss upon it. “The pleasure is mine.” Placing his cigarette back, he grinned. “So what brings a couple of creatures like you to this place?”

“I used to work this neighborhood when I was younger. I started out here, before I got big. I flew out to Wales and met this lovely lady.” Rainbow rubbed Rarity’s chin affectionately as she spoke. “And now we run an international drug cartel. Big time stuff, you know?”

“It was love at first sight.” Rarity commented.

He nodded. “Big league, huh? Not bad.”

“We’re trying to open a new branch around here, so we’re in town for a little bit.” Rainbow explained.

“Ah, cutting in on our action then?” He grunted.

Rainbow shook her head, “Actually we were hoping to work together with the locals here, perhaps we can discuss it somewhere more… Private?” Rainbow raised a brow in a hinting manner.

He nodded. “Let me grab my coat, I know a place.”

As he walked away, Rainbow leaned in to talk to her partner. “Great, we can get him away from the crowd, it’ll make it easier to pump him for info.”

“How’re we going to do that?” Rarity asked.

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “You’re young, hot, you have a great ass, figure it out…”

Rarity figured that was what she meant, but she just wanted to confirm that was the plan. “Well, aren’t you just a wild one tonight?”

“Me? Was that kiss acting, or do you always moan like that when someone pulls your hair?” Rainbow asked.

Rarity blushed. “A lady doesn’t kiss and tell.”

“Not even to the girl you kissed. I swear, I got a freakin’ semi from grinding with you.” Rainbow said.

Rarity laughed. “Down girl.”

“You’re a bit too high maintenance for me, but let me know if you’re planning on converting, I wouldn’t mind showing you a good time if you know what I mean.” Rainbow smirked.

“I can see now how you get into trouble a lot.” Rarity replied.

Their “friend” Wolf made his return only seconds after that comment and gestured for the two to follow him. With a nod, Rainbow took Rarity’s hand and led the way. It was only a short walk to a hotel not too far from the club, where they assumed that Wolf had rented a room in the event of something like this happening tonight. His overconfidence annoyed Rainbow, but she kept quiet to keep the charade going.

Making their way up to the room, he unlocked the door and let the two of them inside. Stepping in, the duo took note of how cheap this hotel was. Rarity had definitely stayed in far more lavish places back home that was for sure.

“So, I heard you worked for a man named Ice? He runs the neighborhood?” Rainbow asked.

He stepped in and tossed his jacket onto a nearby chair. “We’ll talk about that after.”

Rainbow smiled “Of course.” She walked over to him and placed her hands upon the neck of his shirt. Guiding him to a chair that Rarity pulled out for him, she sat him down with a push.

Rarity got behind the chair and placed her arms around his neck with Rainbow kneeling down in front of him, looking up at him with her powerful eyes. With her hand placed on his thigh, she smiled. “So, how do we find out more about Ice?”

He laughed. “What’s got you so curious?”

Losing her patience, Rainbow dropped the act, and gave a signal with her eyes to Rarity, who grabbed his hands and held them behind the chair, holding him down. Retrieving a switchblade from her bra, Rainbow drew the blade and held it up to him. “Alright, here’s what’s going to happen, you’re going to tell us where we can find Ice, or else.”

He laughed. “Or else what? You’re not going to kill me, I can tell. You don’t have the balls.”

She smirked and lowered the blade to his groins as she unzipped his jeans. “And you won’t either if you don’t cooperate.”

He panicked and struggled, but Rarity held him down and Rainbow pressed the blade to the bulge in his pants. “Talk.” She commanded.

Rarity reached in her purse and retrieved some rope she was instructed to bring with her and began to tie his arms to the chair. Rainbow kept her gaze locked onto him. “You talk and you get to keep the twins.”

“Who the fuck are you two?” He demanded to know.

“That’s not important. Now talk.”

He shook his head. “No way.”

Rainbow shrugged. “Suit yourself.” She reached up and grabbed the seam of his boxers to pull them down. He instantly protested.

“OKAY! OKAY! FUCK!”

He sighed. “Ice lives on the other side of the neighborhood on Trice Street. Big blue place where his guys meet up every week on Fridays. We good?”

Rainbow smiled and pulled her knife back. “It’s your lucky day.” She looked down to his groin. “And theirs’ too.”

“What should we do with him now?” Rarity asked.

“Leave him.” Rainbow stood up and gestured for her to follow. Shrugging, Rarity followed and kept close as they shut the door behind them.

“You do realize that when he gets away he’s going to warn Ice about us, right?” Rarity remarked.

Rainbow shook her head. “Nah, I texted the pigs he’d be here. I was wearing a wire for them the whole time, so they are coming to pick him up. Ice isn’t going to risk going to see him in jail. He’ll just assume he got himself busted.”

“No honor among thieves… Or drug dealers for that matter…” Rarity remarked.

Rainbow nodded as she noticed her phone was buzzing. Retrieving it, she picked it up and answered. “Hello?”

She was silent for a moment as she listened to the voice on the other end. She nodded and replied after a few seconds of speaking. “I’m on my way.”

Hanging up, she looked over to Rarity. “Hey, I gotta drop you off at home because I have to go and pick up someone.”

Rarity blinked. “Who?”

“Applebloom, she says she got herself into some trouble and needed to turn in a favor I owe her. It’s a long story.”

“You sure have some interesting friends…” Rarity replied.

Spike and Applebloom sat quietly in the principal's office on the two chairs in front of her desk as Principal Cadance was checking through their files. Spike took note of how comfortable the chairs were, and had he not been in deep trouble, he would have noticed sooner that these were probably the most comfortable chairs he had ever sat in.

“We’re so fucked…” Spike whispered to Applebloom.

“Language.” Cadance scolded.

After finishing looking through the files in front of her, Cadance set them down on the table and sighed. “Applebloom, you get excellent grades, but you really need to find better extracurricular activities than this.”

Applebloom shrugged. “What can I say? There’s no lockpickin’ club at school.”

Rolling her eyes, she gave up barking up that tree and looked over to Spike hoping he would be a bit more reasonable. Her young face scrunched into one of concern.

“And Spike… I’m concerned about you… You have gotten into more trouble this year than any other… I am starting to think that maybe there are problems you’re not talking about…” She smiled, in hopes that he’d warm up.

Spike kept his guard up and looked away from her.

“I can arrange for the councilor to meet with you if you like?” She asked.

He just shook his head.

She sighed and looked back to Applebloom in hope of some answers. “What were you two ever breaking into here for?”

Applebloom covered her mouth symbolically. “Honor among thieves, ma’am.”

“If I tell you then will you not call my sister?” Spike asked.

“Spike!” Applebloom swatted his side.

“Look, I just want to go home, this plan totally failed and I’m in enough trouble.” Spike explained.

She sighed and just sunk in her chair.

“We came here looking for confiscated drugs. I had a little money problem and I wanted to sort of sell them to make the cash back…” He paused. “But I wasn’t going to sell it on school grounds, honest!”

Cadance nodded and leaned back in her chair. “Spike, confiscated drugs don’t really last more than 24 hours. They’re discarded after we notify the police or parents.”

“So that plan was a bust from the start…” Applebloom laughed.

“Great, good to know I’m in trouble and an idiot.” Spike remarked.

“Anyways… I’m not going to call Twilight this time. However you two are going to need an escort home…” Cadance replied.

“Great, so basically you’re making call Twilight myself…” Spike sighed.

Applebloom nudged him and shook her head. “Relax, I got that problem sorted out. Just wait a bit, they’ll be here.”

They sat there in silence for only a few more minutes after the hour or so they were held up in Cadance’s office. Before they knew it though, the silence was broken from the door to the office swinging open and a familiar bunch of multi-colored hair lighting up the room. To their surprise she was actually sporting a dress, high heels and her hair had been styled today, a look they had never knew upon Rainbow Dash. Spike just assumed she didn’t even own a dress; she was always so rugged and tomboyish.

Applebloom withheld the commentary she desperately wanted to give on Rainbow’s outfit.

“Alright idiots, let’s go home.” Rainbow commanded.

Spike and Applebloom both stood up and walked towards the door.

Rainbow smiled and peered over at Cadance. “Miss Cadance, nice to see you again…” She slowly allowed her smile to turn into a smirk.

“Please save it this time, Rainbow…”

“I haven’t even said anything yet.” Rainbow pouted at the accusation.

“You were thinking it.”

She rolled her eyes and placed her arms around the two young teens and huddled them close to her. “Well thanks for keeping these two out of trouble. I’ll take it from here.” She smiled.

“Please do, and Spike… Please remember that I’m here if you need someone to talk to.” Cadance smiled warmly.

He shrugged and turned with the group to leave. As they approached the steps in front of the school, Applebloom finally asked the question that she knew was on both her and Spike’s mind. “Okay, what’s with the get-up?”

Rainbow laughed. “I spent the night out with Rarity, you know how she is.”

“You were with Rarity?” Spike perked up.

“Yeah, what of it? She’s cool.”

Applebloom chimed in. “Spike has a crush on Rarity.”

Rainbow snickered. “After tonight I might too.”

“What?” Spike blushed.

“Settle down lover boy, it’s a joke. Though I can definitely see what you see in her…” Rainbow calmed him.

“Hey, what were you two doing in the first place to get caught?” Rainbow changed the subject.

“Spike was trying to find some drugs to sell. It’s a long story…” Applebloom gave a dismissive hand gesture.

Rainbow stopped dead in her tracks and grabbed Spike’s arm to turn him to face her. “I don’t give a damn about the rest of the story.” She put her other hand on his chin and gripped it tightly. “Listen here, I know you have some problems but you better get a fucking clue, kid. You want to be a punk?”

“No… I…” Spike started, but she cut him off.

“Let me tell you something, you may think you’re tough but you aren’t shit. I don’t want to catch you trying to sell drugs ever again, do you hear me?” She scolded.

“I was just trying to…” He tried to explain again, but she once again cut him off.

“That was a yes or no question. Let me tell you something, that was my life Spike. I had to sell just to live. I had a lot of friends get hurt that way and a lot are in jail now. So you better shape up and stop acting like you fucking know something, because you don’t. I don’t give two shits why you were going to do it, I’m telling you to stop. You wanna live like I did? Huh, tough guy?” She was starting to snarl as she spoke. “You wouldn’t last two minutes in my neighborhood, so you better grow a fucking brain.”

Spike decided it was best to not try and explain again.

“Next time I catch you, telling Twilight will be the last thing you have to worry about.”

He nodded.

“Good, and Applebloom you should know better too.” She said as she released Spike.

Applebloom drooped a bit and nodded. “Sorry, Rainbow…”

Rainbow sighed, somehow soothed by Applebloom’s demeanor. Something about that girl always calmed her. She pulled both her and Spike in for a hug. “I’m sorry too you guys… Listen… I just don’t want you guys to go through what I did…”

Spike and Applebloom both nodded.

“I’m sorry, Rainbow…” Spike finally admitted.

She smiled and petted his head. “It’s okay…”

The three began walking towards the bus stop with Rainbow struggling to move in her high heels. “So you’re not going to tell Twilight?” Spike asked.

Rainbow laughed. “Even if I wanted to, we’re sort of not on speaking terms right now…”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s a long story, probably best left for another day.” Rainbow commented.

Spike was just thankful Rarity didn’t accompany her to be disappointed in him at the same time.

Author's Note

Some of Applebloom's dialogue was hilarious to write. There was a period where I wanted to make her into a more prominent character, but with all that was already going on, I felt the reader would feel overwhelmed with too many main characters. She was originally going to appear with Scootaloo for a story where Scootaloo is up visiting for the holidays and the two would get into antics. However when I realized Applebloom had to play more of a backseat role, Scootaloo got cut.