Chapter 1: the curious past times of bald apes from another dimension
By Gingerquill

It had been far too long for her liking since Princess Celestia, Solar Incarnate and joint ruler of the nation of Equestria, had last taken the time to visit her erstwhile student and good friend, Princess Twilight Sparkle, to simply enjoy her company for a while. It seemed to her the only time she got to spend with the young princess was when something terrible was happening. Monster attacks, Changeling invasions, magic eating megalomaniacs hell bent on world domination, evil tyrants rising from death, the Grand Galloping Gala.

So today, she decided she was not going to wait for some catastrophe to give her an excuse, she was finally going to accept the open invitation for Thursday afternoon tea, fly over and meet with her friend.

Well… Fly over is a bit generous, she thought to herself, reclining as her guards pulled her chariot through the skies. Biggest wings in Equestria and I get my guards to carry me everywhere...

“Are you well Your Highness?” One of the guards called back to her.

“Quite well Captain Strong Flight,” She smiled back with well-practiced regal poise, “just thinking.”

“About anything in particular, Highness?” He enquired politely. Celestia had grown quite fond of the snow white Pegasus since he came to prominence in the Solar Guard. Professional and polite, yet willing to take an interest in her as a pony, and not simply the mistress he was charged with protecting and obeying. It was a pleasant and refreshing change from most of the other guards who as far as she could tell, had a rod firmly up their arse.

“Only that the royal palace is a vast and beautiful complex of elegant buildings,” she spoke wistfully, “complete with extensive, immaculately tended grounds and gardens. But as the seat of government, and with myself as the primary upon that seat, it seems to me that I can go weeks without ever setting hoof outside it.”

“It must be nice to be out and about for a while, Your Highness.” He responded cheerily, sounding like he thoroughly was enjoying the view.

That struck a chord with Celestia. Seeing how relaxed and happy he was, made her realize just how taut she was keeping herself. She was still being the Princess holding court, still holding that unflappable, immaculate façade up for the benefit of the world. It had been there so long she hadn’t even realized anymore.

Closing her eyes, she went through the relaxation exercises she had been taught centuries earlier. Focusing on the flow of her breath, she started seeking out all the points of tension within herself, one by one willing them to unwind and release, before opening her eyes to soak in the moment. She cast her gaze over the lazy twists of cloud, the shades of green in the trees and fields below, the play of sunlight on the rushing waters of a river as it fed into a lake. She smelt the freshness of the air, felt its cool rush through her mane, ticking her fur coat and the feathers of her wings, tempting her to flight. And of course the warm touch of her sun on her face.

At once she felt lighter than she had in many weeks.

“Indeed it is Captain,” she smiled genuinely, “indeed it is.”

Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Big Macintosh and Princess Luna all groaned, their ears drooping with dismay while Applejack grinned and chuckled in triumph.

“We told y’all ya weren’t gonna win that one.” The work horse said in her lively southern drawl, offering a hoof bump to Twilight Sparkle. The lavender princess, sat on her cushion and positively chugging out clouds of smug, gracefully accepted.

“Far be it for me of all ponies to put a price on friendship, but a bet is a bet. Now fork over the goods girls.” She grinned evilly. With a miserable sigh the other four slowly and dismally slid their losses over towards the triumphant duo. Three fairy cakes a piece. With a chuckle and the exaggerated care of a connoisseur, Applejack picked one to savour.

“Y’all know what’s tastier than an apple and cinnamon fairy cake with frosting and cream?” Applejack asked, holding it up for Twilight to examine.

“Go on?” She beamed back at her partner in crime.

“One of Rainbow Dash’s apple and cinnamon fairy cakes with frosting and cream.” She replied, leaning over to the blue Pegasus, before taking a huge bite of her snack cake and chewing it slowly. “Mmmmm. That is soooo delicious.” She grinned in Dashies face, revelling the ‘you will pay dearly for this’ look she got in return.

Following her friends lead, Twilight turned to Princess Luna and opened her mouth to speak.

“Remember We can stalk thy dreams.” The Princess of the Night dead panned, sipping a cup of tea with utmost civility.

Twilight paused for a moment, and then thought better of it, much to everyponies amusement. Titters quickly grew to giggles, which grew to out loud laughter, and soon even Luna had to hide her wildly grinning face behind one hoof to maintain her royal demeanour.

“Hey guys, we have another guest.” Spike the dragon called out as he let himself into the spacious living room.

“Well don’t just stand there, Spike,” Twilight told her oldest friend, “Show them- Princess Celestia!” She finished with a delighted gasp. As the Princess of the Sun entered the room Twilight galloped over in an undignified fashion to throw a hug around her former mentor.

“Twilight Sparkle, it’s so good to see you too.” Celestia said, returning the embrace with her wings. “And with so many of your friends as well.” She looked around the living room. Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were respectfully bowing alongside the ever stoic and nearly silent, Big Macintosh, and of course her beloved sister, Luna. “Oh please rise,” she said, releasing Twilight, “I’m just here for a friendly visit. I must admit though, I wasn’t expecting to see so many of you here today.”

“Of course,” Twilight beamed up at her, “We always get together Thursday afternoons, and I’m so glad you’ve finally accepted my invitation to join us. Spike, we need some fresh tea and cakes!”

“Awww, but the next round is about to start.” The young dragon pouted.

“Don’t worry Spikey! Pinkie to the rescue!” The pink mare leapt up.

“Yeah,” Rainbow Dash joined in, “we’ll have you back before the starting gun fires. Besides, I need to restock, since somepony cleaned me out.” She accused over her shoulder as the three of them left for the kitchen.

“Ah told ya that was a loosin’ bet.” Applejack called after her, tucking cheerily into more of her winnings.

Twilight ushered Celestia over to a space next to her, where Luna was busy fluffing and arranging a set of pillows for her elder sister, and the two shared an embrace as she settled.

“It is so nice to be here,” She told them, “But I must confess I am somewhat perplexed, the next round of what?” She asked, clearly missing something. Seating and snack tables had all been arranged before a screened contraption set against one wall, though what purpose it served was a mystery to her. It was vaguely reminiscent of the portal device Twilight had constructed to enter the world Sunset Shimmer now called home at will. But where she would have expected to see the mirror portal itself, the large screen had been set instead.

“Panzerfahren.” Luna smiled at her. “Sensha-do?” She tried when Celestias only response was a furled brow. “Tankwon-Do? Tanking?...”

“Ooh, Tanking,” Celestia finally caught on. “That new driving sport? I’ve over heard some of the guards talking about it, sounds awfully violent.”

“Yeah, but really exciting,” Twilight gave one of her bright smiles, “you could call it the mother of all impact sports!” Twilight felt compelled to explain when Celestia gave her a furled brow as well. “It all started while I was working on a way of communicating more reliably with Sunset Shimmer, seeing and talking with her without actually having to cross over into the other world.”

“And it had nuthin’ at all to do wi’ seeing Flash Sentry.” Applejack quipped through a mouthful of cake.

“And it had nothing to- Hey!” Twilight glowered at her tittering friend before returning to Celestia, finding her stifling a giggle too. “Anyway, as I was saying, I used the magical diary as a starting point and tried to build a system that would allow us to actually see and hear what was going on in the human world at that very moment.”

“So that’s what this device is for?” Celestia gestured to the machine in front of them.

“Exactly, but I made a miscalculation while calibrating it, and instead of finding Canterlot High, I found a very different human world. Turns out there’s more than one, who knew?” She shrugged.

“A miscalculation, you?” The alabaster alicorn teased, using her magic to pour herself some lukewarm tea from the pot on the coffee table.

“I may have been a touch over excited…” Twilight gave another embarrassed smile, nervously rubbing the back of her neck with one hoof, “I was kinda rushing, and the laws of interdimensional physics are a little more complicated than I expected. I mean, accurately tracking and monitoring multi-dimensional wave form patterns from across the electromagnetic and magical spectrums while transmitting and receiving data through an artificially stabilized quantum tunnel with twelve-fold symmetry through the fabric space time, isn’t as easy as it sounds. Took me an entire afternoon to get the prototype viewer working.”

“An entire afternoon, that long?” Though Celestia never ceased to be amazed by her former student’s uncanny knack for all things magical, she couldn’t help but sneak a little sarcasm in.

“Well most of one,” Twilight told her, apparently oblivious, “I took a break in the middle, Rainbow Dash was determined to give me a flying lesson.” She rolled her eyes as though it was some kind of nuisance drama, but continued as Celestia sipped her tea, listening intently. “Anyways, long story short, when I finally got the viewer working, that’s when I found I’d tuned it into the wrong world.”

“It’s funny how many of the world’s greatest inventions and discoveries were in fact total accidents.” Celestia smiled, her tea cup continuing to hover next to her, suspended in mid-air by the warm, sunlight glow of her magic. “Did you know that when Fizzlewig the Alchemist invented his Miracle Growth Fertilizer Formula, he was actually trying to cure baldness?” Twilight threw her a disbelieving ‘no way’ look. “Really, he was. Never did manage to grow his mane back . And now you have managed to introduce a whole new sport and a way of viewing it that’s taking the land by storm as I hear it.”

“Well…” Twilight blushed modestly, “once I had the prototype working, it was foals play building more viewers… And of course Rainbow Dash just had to go and start telling everypony what we’d found...” She finished with an embarrassed laugh.

“So Luna,” Celestia said, turning to her sister, “I didn’t know you enjoyed this sport?”

“Oh truly dear sister, We do most thoroughly enjoy the spectacle. Exhilarating clashes, heroic deeds, cunning stratagems and tactics. It doth remind Us greatly of the jousting and melee tournaments of old.” Princess Luna replied, slipping into her classic style of speech before leaning in close for a conspiratorial whisper, “Plus, hast thou seen Applejacks elder brother? Phwooooor!” For the first time, Celestia threatened to break into out loud laughter, coughing as she reflexively caught it her throat thanks to century’s practice of royal composure.

“You say somethin’ over there Princess?” Applejack cheerily asked hearing her name, while still tucking into her ill-gained cake stash.

“Only that We would be most intrigued to learn how thy brother handles his plough.” Luna replied, starring at Big Mac with heavy lidded, predatory eyes, a smouldering intensity that made the red stallion try very hard to look small and insignificant.

“Well I never knew you had such an interest in farmin’.” Applejack beamed with delight, utterly oblivious to the Princess’s lusty gaze and her brother’s valiant, and futile attempts to hide behind his sister half his size. “If ya fancy, I can tell y’all about it some time. An’ ah reckon my brother here be just pleased as apple pie to show off.”

“Err, AJ…” Big Macs deep voice actually quivered.

“We would be most grateful indeed,” Luna fairly growled with desire, and before Big Mac could start to protest she had slid past both her sister and his, wrapped one powerful wing about the stallion and began manoeuvring him towards the door as he rapidly turned a deeper shade of crimson. “Come Big Macintosh, show Us how you work the fertile ground.” She breathed heavily into his ear as she all but dragged him out of the room.

“Hehe, who know folk as fancy as royals would be that eager to learn ‘bout farmin’?” Applejack mused with a broad smile. Celestia hung her head with a shake and a smile before leaning over to whisper in the Earth Ponies ear. “Wait, what?...” Applejacks face and ears fell as panic set in, “Princess, Big Mac, wait up!” She cried, bolting out the door after them, leaving Twilight and Celestia in nigh hysterics and nearly knocking Rainbow Dash flying as she re-entered the room.

“Hey! It’s not enough that you con me out of my cakes, now you’re trying mug me too?!” She screamed at the work horse after heroically managing to balance her tray of fresh confectionary. “What is up with that pony?”

“Oh don’t mind her,” Twilight sighed, wiping tears of laughter from her eyes once she’d recovered, “she’s just trying to rescue Big Mac.” Dashie, Pinkie and Spike looked at each other confused, none the wiser for her explanation.

Celestia felt relaxed and content in a way she had not for weeks. She could hardly recall having such a time with her sister and her friends, where neither rank nor royal etiquette seemed relevant or even slightly important.

“But never mind that, how about you pass me one of those delicious looking cakes, a fresh cup of tea and tell me a little about tanking.” She motioned for the three of them to settle down, eager to learn more about this new sport that held so many of her friends and subjects in thrall.

“We can do better than that, we can show you!” Rainbow Dash set her tray down and with a quick flap of her wings, lifted herself over to the viewer. “Next match should be starting any minute now.” She said, throwing a switch and checking some dials. Slowly the viewer came to life, the dark, blank screen brightening by gradients and filling with colours that began to take shape. Sounds also began to come from the machine, a quiet buzzing at first, but quickly it began to separate into many sounds that became clearer.

“-otta admit John, it’s a bold move by London to bring Big Tony to a 20 slot match. Doubly so when you consider their last three matches have been played, and won, in open terrain. They’re due a change of scenery.” Celestia had of course read Twilight’s reports of her visits to the human world and of its dominant native species, but to actually see a bald ape descendant took her aback for a moment. Equestria was a world filled with an incredible variety of races, from Hyrda to Chimera, Griffons to Dragons, Yaks and the various types of ponies to name but a few. But none of that had quite prepared her for just how peculiar these humans were.

Sat in a small studio, he was well-spoken with an urbane accent and appeared slightly built under a suit jacket, not unlike the type ponies would wear out to dinner, but obviously it had been cut for a human form. Beneath he wore a fine shirt and tie, and a crisp looking pair of trousers. But it was the sight of all that skin that threw her. Yes, he was wearing clothes, which felt odd enough considering ponies generally eschewed clothing outside special events, but aside from the neatly groomed dark mane atop his head, he was completely hairless. It was just weird…

“I can only agree with you Garry,” a second human sat on the other side of the studio said to the first, “It’s a big risk. They’ve gambled on getting yet another match in the open, and I reckon they’re pushing their luck.” This one had a rough image to match his voice. Like the first he was wearing a jacket and shirt, but the tie was absent and the top buttons on his shirt were undone. He also carried rough stubble along his jaw and generally had a harder and heavier look to him than the first, especially with his bald head. “If it goes their way, they’ll have a strong advantage, but this could backfire on them something chronic.”

“True, but let’s take a look at what Yorkshire are sending their way,” The first human, Garry apparently, replied and the two of them turned to a large screen hung on the wall behind them, which showed three other humans and behind them, slowly rotating, was an image of a boxy, tracked vehicle with a hexagonal shaped turret, “and the big surprise here is the return of the Scarborough Fishermen.”

“Now this is almost as much of a surprise as seeing Big Tony.” John agreed. “It was a pretty nasty knock out they suffered against New York, and I don’t think anybody expected to see them in action again this quickly.”

“Well that’s what you get when you match a Crusader against an M26 Pershing.” Garry told John. “Don’t get me wrong, the Crusader is a good tank and the quick firing 2 pounder is a good gun against lower tiered vehicles, but the M26 isn’t a lower tiered vehicle and neither is Big Tony. Their mistake against New York was breaking cover and making a rush for a better shot too early. Let’s hope they learned from that mistake.”

“Well they seem to have on paper. Looks like they used their down time to upgrade the Fisherman. They’re now sporting a more powerful engine and a quick firing six pounder.”

“That’ll certainly help them in a fire fight, but won’t they have moved up a tier for it?”

As the two pundits bounced the analysis back and forth, Princess Celestia quickly found herself hopelessly lost trying to keep up, which as an immortal demi goddess with a millennium’s experience ruling a kingdom, was a feeling she hadn’t had to cope with for a very long time. The terminology, the slang, the names, places and objects they talked about, the two of them might as well have been speaking a completely different language for all the sense it made to her. Everypony else in the room though seemed to be absorbing the information and were already adding their own thoughts. At some point Applejack, Big Mac and Luna had snuck back into the room, and though Applejack had been careful to seat herself between her anxious brother and the frustrated Princess of the Night, she and Rainbow Dash were already arguing their way towards another bet.

Apparently it all depended on whether or not the match took place on open ground. If not, then according to Rainbow Dash, London were going to get ‘pounded like cheap pastry dough!’ But if it did, then Big Tony was going to, as Applejack put it, ‘blast Yorkshire right to bucking Mars’.

“Twilight, what’s Mars?” Celestia quietly asked the younger princess.

“According to my early research, it’s a planet in the human solar system coated entirely in chocolate above a layer of rich caramel with a soft nougat centre.”

Celestia wasn’t entirely convinced, but was distracted from her scepticism by the next image to enter the viewer.

“By the stars, what is that?” She breathed. The lines, the sharp, yet sleek angles that defined its shape, the sheer size of it, the undeniable power.

“That my dear sister,” Luna said to her, “is Big Tony.”

“A Panzerkampfwagon Tiger Ausf B, or Kónigstiger, to be precise.” Twilight added, but Celestia wasn’t paying attention anymore. She could hear Twilight going on about the statistics of the vehicle, the power of its main gun, the pundits mentioned something about the frontal armour rarely, if ever, being penetrated, but it had all become white noise in her ears. The view panned out with some clever graphics to show two teams of vehicles lined up, facing each other. But it was Big Tony that captured her attention.

She was snapped out of her sparkly eyed revere by Applejack.

“Aww dang-nabbit!” The work horse snorted with disgust.

“Hehehe, looks like somepony is getting her fairy cakes back.” It was Rainbow Dash’s turn to chuckle triumphantly.

“Don’t you go countin’ yer eggs ‘fore they’ve hatched,” Applejack snapped at her, “match ‘ain’t even started yet.”

“And it’s already looking good.” She gloated back.

As the two of them got stuck into another bout of arguing, Celestia turned to Twilight again.

“I assume that means London didn’t get the terrain advantage?”

“Nope.” Seeing the older Princess’ confusion and feeling the need to expand, Twilight continued, “over open ground Big Tony’s frontal armour would make him practically invulnerable to anything Yorkshire could throw at him, while his 88mm main gun would knock out any their tanks before they could ever get close enough to take a shot at his more vulnerable side or rear amour,” she explained at length. “But they’re in close, hilly, wooded terrain, so not only is the range advantage of the 88 is nullified, but a vehicle as heavy as Big Tony handles hills and rough ground very poorly. Yorkshire now has a much better chance of getting into a spot to knock him out.”

A loud bang came from the viewer and they heard one of the Pundits shout ‘The starting cannon has fired and they’re off!’. As the ponies gathered in the room cheered, the view had shifted once again, and now with the screen split in two, it showed the two teams of tanks in their starting positions roar their engines and start rolling forwards into the forests and hills ahead of them.

“So why not simply have a team of vehicles like Big Tony?” The gleeful thought danced through the older Princess’ mind.

“Because of the tier system.” Twilight answered patiently, having all the appearance of a school teacher enjoying the opportunity to lecture. “Each vehicle in the sport is rated by its armour protection, how powerful its guns are, its mechanical reliability and its mobility. The officials in the IPF, that’s the International Panzerfahren Federation, the sport’s governing body, take these four factors into account and assign the vehicle to a tier, one through ten. Big Tony is about as big and powerful as vehicles get, but mechanically a bit touchy and very slow, so he’s a tier eight.”

Celestia nodded slowly, digesting all this new information without taking her eyes off the viewer. She was following the image one of the vehicles flying a London team flag, speeding forward and ranging out wide ahead of the rest of the team, the Southend Raiders Tetrarch, according to the caption at the bottom of the screen, but she was careful at the same time to pay attention to Twilight, nodding and casting glances her way to let her know she was listening.

“Now when you select a team, you’re given a number of slots to fill, twenty in this match, and a vehicle occupies one slot for each of its tiers.” Twilight continued her introduction to tanking.

“So Big Tony takes up eight slots, while lower tiered, less powerful vehicles take up far fewer.” Another piece fell into place in Celestia’s mind.

“Exactly. But also teams have to worry about where they will be playing and what the victory conditions for a match are. They’re randomly determined after team lists have been submitted, so it’s safer to go for a well-rounded team that could face any situation, or you risk ending up like London here, trying to play King of the Hill with a small team in unfavourable terrain.”

Twilight never got the chance to explain further what she meant as the Southend Raiders were rocked by explosions, throwing up clouds of dust and dirt with near misses.

“And it looks like we have our first contact of the match already!” Called one of the commentators.

“That didn’t take very long.” A second replied. “Looks like Southend’s Tetrarch has stumbled headlong into Yorkshire’s sights.”

Celestia watched as the tiny light tank swerved this way and that, trying desperately to evade the incoming fusillade of shells. It was like watching a rabbit being chased by a pack of Timber Wolves.

“What in Tartarus are they doing? They’re trying to blow them up!” Celestia stared in shock. How could this violent insanity be considered anything other than a blood sport?

“It’s okay,” Twilight tried to calm her, “All crew compartments are reinforced with advanced composite armours that ensure crew safety,” the younger princess explained quickly, “also they all use specialized rounds that are incapable of penetrating that armour. Nobody has been seriously hurt in Panzerfahren for years.”

Unsure, but accepting Twilights explanation, Celestia watched the Tetrarch defiantly turn its small turret and begin throwing shells back towards it’s attackers, the two pounder gun making loud pow noises as it fired. But Yorkshire were remaining hidden under the cover of the forest, and without a clear target there was little chance the brave little tank was going to hit anything. She could hear Spike and Pinkie calling at the screen, telling them to run, to make their escape, and she found herself wishing the same.

Quickly the Southenders turned away and made a break for their own team, still weaving side to side in their swift vehicle, but Yorkshire weren’t going to let them get away so easily and three tanks emerged from the trees to give pursuit. Celestia recognised the Scarborough Fishermen from the pundits warm up, but had no idea of the other two. They hurled shell after shell at the swift little Tetrarch, relentlessly bombarding it as they chased.

The room was charged with excitement, everypony glued to the frantic drama playing out before them. Applejack and Rainbow Dash crouched, tense and ready to cheer or moan, Spike and Pinkie clung to each other and even Twilight was hooked.

Abruptly the Southenders veered to one side, making a dash for the safety of a shallow gorge that would give them cover, allowing them to slip away. Celestia willed them to make it, they were almost there! Just a few more seconds!

The gathered friends watching the viewer groaned in sympathy as the back of the vehicle detonated, rear drive wheels and pieces of track span away into the air and the vehicle rocked forward as a shell struck home, bringing the valiant little Tetrach shuddering to a halt, spilling smoke into the air. The London flag abruptly retracted, and was replaced with a simple white flag, barely visible behind the billowing smoke.

With the end of the chase, Celestia released a breath she didn’t realise she’d been holding. Her heart pounded in her chest and she’d become perched on the edge of her cushions, leaning forward as though magnetically drawn to the spectacle.

“Heh, you might want to put my fairy cakes to one side, AJ.” Rainbow Dash could be heard smirking. Applejacks response was less audible, but from what could be heard, it involved inserting cakes into the Pegasus.

As the three Yorkshire tanks disappeared back under the cover of the trees, the Sun Princess turned to her young protégé again.

“Are you sure they’re alright?”

“Of course,” Twilights confidant smile eased her more than words could. As if to vindicate her, the screen showed the crew emerge from the disabled light tank, who waved to the camera before a support vehicle arrived to take them out of the match zone.

Despite her initial misgivings, Celestia had to admit, she was exhilarated. She was giddy with excitement, and she wanted to see what was going to come next.

“So does a team win when they take out all the opposing vehicles?”

“They can do, it’s called an annihilation victory, but usually there are other victory conditions as well, capture the flag, capture the base, assassination or flag hunt, but today they’re playing King of the Hill.”

“King of the Hill?” Celestia asked quietly as the match continued. With the initial skirmish out of the way, the two teams seemed to be trying to feel each other out, looking for some weakness, some point of attack. Though they had mostly gone to ground, short lived gun battles erupted at long range, but Yorkshire quickly disbursed whenever Big Tony arrived, unwilling to face him head on.

“It’s one of the game types.” Twilight explained, only half turning so she could keep one eye on the unfolding events. “In King of the Hill there’s a control zone in the middle of the playing area. A team scores one point each minute for each active vehicle they have inside the control zone, as long as the opposing team doesn’t also have active vehicles inside it. At the end of the match, the team with the highest score wins.”

“So having lots of vehicles helps you rack up a big score quickly.” By bits and pieces, Celestia felt she was starting to get the hang of this sport, that it was more than just a brutal slogging match. “And if London send their lighter vehicles to attack the control zone, they might be overwhelmed by Yorkshires superior numbers, and Big Tony would be left vulnerable to attack. But if they concentrate on protecting him instead, they risk Yorkshire gaining an insurmountable lead.”

“You sure you’ve never seen tanking before?” Twilight cast her mentor a suspicious look, “you seem to know more about it than you let on.”

“I’ve been on campaign many times.” Celestia smiled back at her friend with a gleam in her eye, “This isn’t so different.”

By now Yorkshire had comfortably been in command of the control zone for several minutes and had built a substantial lead, while London had yet to even put a score on the board, unable to get close before being swarmed and driven off by the more numerous Yorkshire tanks. They had already lost three more vehicles duelling, though in return two Yorkshire tanks had been knocked out.

But finally, after being carefully escorted the distance and slowly lumbering up steep hills and through dense forests, Big Tony had closed on the control zone. Distracted from his approach by a spoiling attack from his last two escorts, Yorkshire were caught out in the open and unprepared when the brush gave way before the mighty King Tiger. As he entered the clearing, the Yorkshire team panicked, reversing away as they brought their guns to bear on him, hurling shells as fast as they could.

They might as well have been throwing stones.

Even as he sat there, shots pinging harmlessly off his forward armour, Big Tony trained his 88 on the first Yorkshire tank, a Matilda II. Next to the repeated pow of its two pounder gun, the sound of the 88 firing was like the hammer fall of a god and left the smaller vehicle billowing smoke, the white ‘knock out’ flag fluttering in the breeze.

“Nononononononononono!” Rainbow Dash was on her knees watching her winning bet come apart, with Applejack right next to her ginning like a lunatic.

“Bring ‘er home boys!” She hollered while next to them Pinkie and Spike fairly danced with anticipation.

Soon the Matilda II was joined by a second tank, and a third before they finally managed to escape the killing ground. Triumphant, the last three London tanks rolled forward to claim the control zone, unaware of a shadow that appeared in the forests behind them.

“And here comes the Fisherman.” Celestia gave one of her all-knowing smiles.

A 6 pounder shell slammed clean into Big Tony’s rear armour before he could advance even fifty feet. Vulnerable, it gave way, and his engine began to splutter, coughing clouds of black smoke. A second shell struck home, and Big Tony shuddered before the fatally wounded engine coughed its last.

The last two London vehicles turned to face this new threat, only for Yorkshires survivors to return and catch them in a crossfire, which quickly brought the match to an end.

As the siren announcing Yorkshire as the Winner sounded, the image on the viewer returned to the studio, and the two pundits began their analysis of the game, and Twilight looked to her mentor with a wry grin.

“You knew that was going to happen, didn’t you?”

The Princess of the Sun simply smiled back.

“Like I said, I’ve been on campaign many times.”

Applejack though, simply lay down and tried to hide under her hat.

“You know, it’s a good thing no pony made any wagers on London winning the match.” Rainbow Dash said loudly and smugly. “Otherwise they’d be looking a bit silly right about now, not to mention that obscenely large bet they’d have to fork out.”

Applejack responded by trying a little harder.

“Wow, that was an awesome match!” Spike jumped up, “When Big Tony rumbled into the control zone, just ignoring everything, then the Fisherman just snuck up behind him and BOOM! Too bad we don’t have a tank, I’d love to take one for a spin.”

“It’d be more fun than drinking a barrel of AJs cider.” Dashie just couldn’t resist rubbing it in a little further.

“Wut was that?” The work horse growled at her from under her hat.

“I said I wonder where Big Mac and Princess Luna got to.”

Poking her head out from under her hat, AJ finally noticed that at some point, Luna had managed to sneak off with her big brother again.

“Oh horse apples!” she shot off looking for them.

“Oh my gosh, having a tank would be like brrrrrr, and then Booom!” Ever hyperactive pinkie bounced around, pretending to be a bright pink tank. “Then we would rumble round and have so much fun! But we just don’t have one, do we Twilight?” She beamed at her friend, and it wasn’t simply the thought of Pinkie Pie unleashed on Equestria with heavy artillery that made Twilight tap her hooves nervously.

“Well… it’s funny you should mention that…”

Author's Note

Finally!
I was beginning to think i'd never get this chapter done...

All constructive critique is welcome :)