The Classic

by Not What We Expected

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Changelings, Original Character, Comedy, Slice of Life
Length: 4483

Just another day for just another changeling to pick up just another easy meal.

Snow Pea and Spumone have had a perfect ongoing relationship for many years now! They complement each other's flaws, they keep each other company, and they share their love not just between each other, but to all who might need it! Together, they have picked up renown for being one of the most adorable couples in town, and they're going to keep it that way for sure!

Sounds like a good target for a changeling.

Published 2015-09-06 21:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-06 21:10:01 UTC

The Classic

Snow Pea gave her filled saddlebags one last hoist over her back with a small grunt of effort from the weight. Straightening her legs, she smiled to the vendor before her and raised a brow.

“Sorry, how much for the potatoes?”

The vendor sighed and pointed to the sign next to her with a lazy hoof for the third time. “Again, six bits for a bag. You took two.”

Snow nodded and opened up a small pouch attached to her foreleg, chipping out the needed bits and quickly turning tail. That mare sure has a stick up her ass, She thought plainly, skipping along through the marketplace. Even when she wasn’t in the brightest of moods, Snow Pea found it much easier (and rather therapeutic) to add a bounce to her step when carrying larger loads. It was probably just a perk of being an earth pony, seeing as anypony with extra appendages growing off of them seemed to think otherwise.

As she trotted along with that spring in her step, she went over her grocery list one last time. She had her potatoes now to go with the lemons, carrots, strawberries, and gratuitous amount of apples. That left her with… tomatoes. One final stop before she could head home!

Giving her brightest smile, Snow bounced on to the regular spot where she knew the tomato stand always sat. It never moved, Black Cherry (funny name for a tomato farmer) always snagged the same spot and eventually everypony just stopped trying to contest her. It wasn’t like it was the greatest spot, it just happened to be right outside her house.

Though, when she came into Snow’s sights she seemed rather… off. Today, the poor mare had ill written all over her. Her eyes sagged, her mane was messy, and worst of all her fur was unkempt and the wrong color. Her normally bright indigo coat had somehow darkened into a splotchy, gross purple. However, she was running the stand nonetheless and this was the last thing on Snow Pea’s list. No need to deny her business just because she isn’t feeling so great.

She hardly acknowledged Snow’s approach as the bouncy mare stopped in front of the stand. Her eyes flicked up momentarily, but they almost seemed to look straight through her before she looked back down to her table.

Snow bit her lip with uncertainty. “...Cherry?” She said softly. “Cherry, are you feeling alright?”

She sighed and shook her head. “Oh, no, no not really,” she muttered. “I’m just trying to get through the day alive. Going to see the doctor about this fuckin’ illness later.”

Snow flinched hard at the use of language, peering around to see if anyone had heard her. Raising a hoof to rub the back of her neck, she flicked her eyes back to Black Cherry, though not quite focusing on her. “Well, good luck with that then,” She replied. “But for now, I need some tomatoes. About five should last me for the week.”

Cherry simply stared at her for a moment, mouth hung open. Snow’s eye twitched slightly and she opened her mouth to repeat her request, but suddenly Cherry’s eyes went wide and she shook her head. “Sorry! Sorry…” She muttered again, looking around her stand. After another moment of staring about, she groaned rather loudly. “I didn’t even bring the tomatoes out here. Wow. I… I don’t think I’m capable of transporting them, mind just following me inside to pick them up?”

Snow nodded, glad to be helping her out. She had never seen any sort of sickness the likes of which Cherry displayed, so she had no way to put herself in the farmer mare’s position.
Opening the door gently, Cherry slowly walked into her house.

Snow Pea followed her in, but stopped in the dark hallway. The only illumination was provided by the open doorway, which quietly creaked as it swung closed behind her. Now completely immersed in the dark, Snow blinked a few times and looked around, pawing nervously against the padded floor.

“Cherry?” She said aloud, voice waving with uncertainty. “Cherry, dear, where did you go? Cherry?” She stood alone with her echoing voice as it left the room, but gained no response. Swallowing, Snow walked forward across the room to the next, creeping in with her hooves lightly tapping against the ground. She froze in place and took another gulp, ears flicking.

That’s when she heard it. A muffled yelp and shuffle of a floored body. Turning immediately, her eyes focused on a very distressed Cherry lying on her side, mouth gagged and body roped. Snow Pea gasped and knelt to her, hooves shaking too hard to be of assistance.

“Cherry!?” She gasped out. “Cherry, what in Eque-”

Her inquisition was quickly interrupted by a black body flinging itself out at her, latching onto the poor mare’s shoulders and pinning her down. Snow’s head spun as she shook it, clearing the stars from her vision and letting her focus her eyes on the changeling currently wrapping rope around her prone form.

“Oh, hey!” The changeling said in a happy tone, still rapidly moving her hooves about. Her voice buzzed from the back of her throat, almost making it sound like she was using magic to change it. Her blue eyes looked to Snow for a moment, her mouth lifting in a wide grin.

“Ooh!” She exclaimed gleefully. “You’re married! Finally! Let’s see, you’re… uhh… Wait I know this.” She tugged one last time to tighten the rope and leaned back, placing a hoof on her chin. Snow Pea was still too startled and confused to say anything.

“You’re Snow Pea!” She announced with triumph in her voice. “You are the lovely wife of Spumone and you grow peas for a living! Looks like you were out buying groceries huh?” She gestured over at Snow’s saddlebag sitting on the other side of the room, still closed and bulging. Snow opened her mouth to beg for mercy but was met with another gag, pulled right through her mouth and around her neck.

“You were just about to finish your groceries when suddenly…” The changeling exploded into green flame in front of her, making Snow’s eyes bulge and her to elicit a whimper in surprise. From the flames trotted a pretty young mare with Snow Pea’s features.

Her exact features.

“...I found a friend I was just dying to chat up a conversation with! But now, I really must return to my husband. I heard he has some pent up love he’s just begging to dish out tonight! I can’t leave him hanging!” Grinning and whistling a little tune, the Snow Pea doppleganger threw her saddlebag over her back and clipped it on. Winking at her horrified original, the changeling walked out of the room and temporarily filled the house with light before rudely removing it again.

And so Snow Pea and Black Cherry were left to their lonesomes, tied up with no means of escape, while the doppelganger marched her way home.
______________________________________________________________________________

The fire crackled and licked at the pan currently sat atop it, attended to by a blue and white stallion named Spumone, known for his skills in the kitchen to all (some) far and wide (close friends)! He placed a booted hoof on the pan’s handle and shook it back and forth, immersing himself in the satisfying sizzling that always accompanied meals. Today’s menu: asparagus and butter! Lots of butter! They were running out of supplies.

The stallion’s ears flicked up as they picked up the oh so familiar sound of a door opening and the light trotting of hooves. Grinning, he turned the fire down and walked to the front door to be greeted by the beautiful form of his wife. She smiled warmly at him as he entered, approaching him and giving him a gentle kiss on the cheek as she dropped her hoard on the nearest table.

“Evening, dear,” She said, voice high and her inflection forcing all of her pretty into the stallion’s face.

“Good evening!” He piped back, grin widening as he hugged his wife close for a moment. “I see you brought more food for us, great! We really were running low.” His eyes momentarily moved to the kitchen before coming back to her. “I have some asparagus cooking right now, it should be done soon!”

Nodding, Snow Pea walked into the room with him, giving him another peck on the cheek. He smiled warmly at her and she returned it, but in her mind she was not smiling at all. Not one bit. I can’t find any love, she thought with concern. Does the act of kissing have no effect on this pony, even from his own wife? That’s cold.

Suddenly, she put her hooves on him and turned him toward her. His face distorted with surprise until she leaned in and pressed her lips to his, holding him closer to her own form so she could get the most out of it. He simply melted in her hooves, but her ears flicked about in annoyance.

There was still nothing. Not one drop or trace of love that she could take into herself to feed her ravenous changeling hunger. Snow pulled him in and added tongue, to which he accepted, though cautiously. Clearly she was being a bit too forward, so she backed off but continued the kiss to look natural. This was ridiculous, how on earth did a kiss not even get any love out? Was this stallion gay or something!?

She pulled off of him and stared deep into his eyes, reaching out with her magic to give him a full body search for any trace of love. No glow was emanated, yet the moment she touched him the recoil was violent. His entire head flinched back and he groaned out, causing her to immediately retract. What on Equestria caused that!?

Pulling away from his partner, Spumone rubbed an eye hard and groaned out again. “What in the actual…” He muttered out, shaking his head slowly. “Did you… What just… I need some aspirin.” Turning to the cabinets, Spumone opened one up and peered inside. Shaking his head, he closed it and went to another one, looking for the little pill bottle. Snow Pea bit her lip as she watched her husband search through his cabinets, thinking of how to salvage the situation.

My magic never fails like that! I’ll need to take drastic measures! The distressed changeling wildly swung her head around the room, thinking of something to do. She walked over to the stove and flicked it off, giving a slightly disgusted look to the veggies in the pan. She was glad she would be out of here before having to put any of those inside her, changeling anatomy did not comply with physical food.

Looking back at Spumone, she watched him search the drawers and gave one last attempt at finding love. Any sort of attraction to her form, her personality, her cooking, her interest in golf, anything! She came up shorthoofed, and with that she let out a large sigh and let her eyes fall to half lidded, sauntering over to her husband.

“Hey dear,” She spoke softly, nuzzling up to his neck and looking up to him with an adorable face worn. He looked down at her and smiled, nuzzling her back and giving her the go to continue. Raising her hoof to his, she pulled it back and hugged it to her chest before continuing. “I think I know something that would be better than you taking some pills.”

Spumone picked up on Snow’s message immediately, raising an eyebrow and blushing through his fur. “O- Oh!” He said after a moment of looking at her. “Well, you know what… I think you have an idea going. Shall we…”

“...Relocate?” She finished with a smirk, licking her lips. They held eye contact but a moment before they both chuckled at the bluntness. Pressing against each other, they walked out from the kitchen to the bedroom, nipping and kissing each other along the way. Snow Pea tugged on Spumone’s mane, Spumone bumped his flank against Snow Pea, and both walked on to the new room giggling and whispering like little school foals.
______________________________________________________________________________

The dark room lit up as the chuckling couple walked in, the lights flickering on as the switch was swung. Snow Pea detached from her husband and made her way eagerly to the bed first, flopping down upon it and giving him a sultry smile.

“Well then?” She said with a flick of her tongue, again checking him for any traces of love. Finding still none, she clicked her hooves together and continued. “Get over here, hot stuff. I’m sure you don’t want to leave an eager mare waiting!”

Spumone’s eyes traced Snow’s body and his nostrils flared. His body tensed up as his blood did its best to redirect itself from his more rationally thinking brain to a less rationally thinking instinct. “Of course not!” He said gleefully, approaching her and drinking in her form on the bed.

The stallion climbed onto the bed next to his wife, allowing a hoof to trace softly along her cutie mark. She shuddered and squirmed slightly, jabbing Spumone in the chest with her hoof and blushing. “Come on! We’re not here for foreplay, just get down already!”

Spumone scrunched his nose and chuckled, jabbing Snow back playfully and smirking. “You’re that eager? Hah!” Leaning over, he snuggled up to her and traced his hoof up to her belly, gently rubbing it in circles. “Sorry hon, you’ll have to give me a reason to help.”

Snow quit her squirming and immediately flashed a death stare at Spumone, who was too busy rubbing at her belly and nuzzling up to her to notice. Her nostrils flared and her leg twitched angrily. She felt his touch, but it was no loving embrace.

How singled minded can one stallion be? The changeling thought, flame in her eyes. No love, no passion, just teasing the living HELL out of HIS POOR WIFE? Snow’s leg twitched again, ready to slam her hoof straight back into Spumone’s crotch. Rather, the stallion took that as a different sign and moved his hoof back to her flank, rubbing circles and kissing her neck while she ground her teeth together.

“C’mon, Snow,” He whispered with a tinge of disappointment, whining into her ear. “You can’t be THAT pent up, can you?” He gave her another pat and she softened up, giving her own little whimper in response. Sighing, Spumone smiled warmly and nuzzled into her neck again. “Alright, you’ve gone through enough.” Rolling over, he climbed atop her and pressed their bodies together, blushing as he felt her intense heat seeping into his body, especially as he pressed into her nether regions. At that point he was able to feel her moisture and blushed harder through his fur with embarrassment. “You really have been waiting. Wow, I… Sorry sweetie, I just thought-”

Snow Pea interrupted him by pulling his head down into a kiss, closing her eyes and pushing happily (begrudgingly) into his face. Pulling away and turning her head back, she gave a playful (annoyed) bat of her eyes. “It’s alright,” She said with a sultry (sour) tone. “You were just doing your best! But seriously,” She pressed her crotch against him and he emitted a squeak! “Get working, lover boy.”

Despite wanting as much as possible to prolong their foreplay, Spumone knew his mare was not up for it and, frankly, she was wearing his patience thin as well. Pressing into her, his erect rod jabbed against her soaked petals, already wetting the head of his cock and letting it slip into her slightly. They both gasped from surprise, not expecting it to be that easy. She had to be soaking!

He pulled back gently in an attempt to reset himself, but Snow was having absolutely none of that. In one swift motion, she latched onto the stallion and thrust herself into him, effectively burying him up to the medial ring into her soft flesh. He gasped loudly as she bit her lip, hardly able to suppress her own moans of pleasure.

“Oooooh that’s nice…” She breathed out, wriggling her hips to get adjusted to his length. “Come on, come on! Get it in there!” She pushed forward again but he pressed into her, pushing her back down.

“Hey, I’m the one up here!” He reminded her, thrusting himself again to about two thirds penetration. She groaned out again and he grinned. “I’ll take over from here!” Pressing into her, he slipped the remainder of his length in until his sack was bumping up against her tail. However, he didn’t give her even the slightest chance to adjust again, as he immediately pulled out and pushed forcefully back in, emitting a soft squelching sound amidst her squeaks.

Nuzzling and kissing her cheek, Spumone whispered in her ear “Mmm… You like that? I sure do.” He pushed back into her again and thrust, closing his eyes and gasping with the warm pleasure that surrounded his phallus. “A… A lot…” He breathed out.

Snow Pea was completely unable to answer as her hot, wet insides were once again intruded. Again and again she welcomed his thrusts, eyes rolling and body tensing up. Eagerly, he penetrated into her repeatedly, gladly thrusting away as pleasure continued to wrack his body. Snow’s eyes rolled back into her head as his thick, veined member smacked deeper into her with every push.

By now, Spumone was was rhythmically pulling himself almost completely out and thrusting all the way back in, balls smacking against her ass with a small splash of sexual fluid and a grunt from both. In a sudden bout of pleasure, he shuddered and thrust a bit less evenly than before, smacking straight into Snow’s conveniently placed G-spot. Her eyes bulged and her mouth opened, but no noise managed to escape as she stared up past him, straight into the ceiling as he forced his way into her again, continuing the rhythm.

Feeling completely drunk with pleasure, his thrusting devolved into less of a rhythmic dance and more into a flurry of fast, needy pumping. Back and forth, in and out, they coupled for what seemed to be an eternity with nothing needed more than a moan and the wet slapping of two libidos.

Deep into their session, Snow suddenly went rigid, crying out and pushing up against him. Taking the hint, Spumone stopped his thrusting within her as she rode out her orgasm. Little did he know he was conveniently stuck pressed up against her G-spot, causing her to cry and hiccup as her orgasm rippled throughout her body, tugging at his cock hungrily at the cum that would not come out.

He grinned as she lay, panting in the aftermath of her body-quaking finale. Desperately grasping for breath, she swallowed and nodded to him again. “We’re… not… done…” She whispered, tugging on him again and flexing her vaginal muscles around his throbbing cock. “Keep going, dammit!”

So once again, he did; though all good things must come to an end eventually, and both could feel it happening. Snow had already been pushed through one orgasm already and her next was swiftly approaching her. He, however, was swiftly approaching his first. His head flared inside Snow’s insides, pressing her out and stretching what was already stretched to accommodate his monstrous length.

Snow’s lips did their best to up at the corners, revealing a smile with one last throaty moan. As he was approaching orgasm, she flicked her magic on as best she could in her wet, dopamine drunk state, and checked one last time for his love to consume.

…

…

…

And she checked a second time.

…

…

Then a third time, just to be sure.

…

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. This whole time and this stallion still did not love her. He didn’t love his own wife, he didn’t love her caresses, he didn’t even love MAKING love with her. It was… It was… INFURIATING! Never before had she been coupled with such a thick, single minded asswipe! What on Equestria did he marry this mare for? Money? Sex? No, even sex should get some love. Perhaps he was… No, was he gay? He married Snow Pea to show just how deep in the closet he was? Whatever was happening, it had to stop, and it had to stop now. She was done.

“Fuck you, I’m not doing this any more.”

Snow Pea’s eyes focused and her jaw dropped straight through the floor. She looked straight up into Spumone’s disappointed and frankly pissed off look. His flare within her pushed all the way out, but he already began pulling out as his orgasm began. Long, white ropes of cum began to spew all over her legs and onto the floor as he rode it out and his cock throbbed, but he didn’t seem to care at all as he looked her dead on.

“Wh- What was that?” Snow whispered, confused and surprised.

“I said I’m not doing this any more. You’re a fucking whore and I feel sorry for your husband.” He clambered off her and stepped back, leaving a white trail dripping from his retreating cock. “You don’t love me at all. You don’t love HIM at all. How do you sleep at night, knowing that you extort this poor stallion who does all he can to care and provide for you? You even seduced him for your own personal benefit and gave ZERO shits to how he felt about the situation.”

Snow pulled herself up on the bed, panting and looking at him with wide eyes. “Why are you referring to yourself like th-”

“Are you that thick?” He muttered. Spumone sighed and lifted a hoof, giving a dramatic pause before exploding violently into green flames, his body being completely immersed in the licking fire. Snow’s jaw went all the way to Tartarus as his form was revealed, leaving a shiny, pissed off changeling where he was once standing. “Go ahead, call the guards,” He said threateningly. “By the time they get here, I’ll be out. I’m going back to my hive, you’ve made me lose all faith in ponykind.” Sighing, he pawed at the ground with his holed up leg, muzzle twisted in a nasty sneer.

The changeling who previously impersonated Spumone walked to the window and proceeded to open it, kicking Snow out of her stupor and causing her to shout out “Wait!” Looking back at her, he sneered again.

Getting to her hooves, Snow quickly imitated his own act from a mere moment ago, bursting into green flames and letting her furry hide melt away to her more comfortable, shiny chitin. This time, it was the other changeling’s time to let his jaw unhinge. The flames dissipated and left behind her sparkling form, mouth curled in a worried grin at the other changeling in the vicinity.

The two shared a long moment of silence, staring at each other with equal levels of shock and horror. They found it difficult to work their vocal cords, but eventually they made purchase.

“So you-”

“You’ve been-”

“The whole time?”

“Looking for-”

“Where did-”

Snow’s doppelganger shook her head and raised a hoof to silence the other. Looking back at him again, they shared another moment of eye contact before she began to feel something bubbling up in her throat. Letting her smile widen, she began to chuckle loudly before bursting out in full-on laughing. He stared at her before widening his smile to equal proportions, letting out a loud chortle and stepping away from the window.

The two stood in the house, filling what previously was sounds of pony lovemaking to the delightful sound of two buzzing, laughing changelings. They laughed louder and louder, beginning to double over as the laughter pulled more air from their bodies than they could put back in. Spumone’s doppelganger actually toppled over, kicking his legs out as he howled at their stupid, awkward situation.

The laughter took minutes to die down, after which both were wiping tears from their big, blue eyes and trying their best to down the pain in their chests. Still chuckling, Snow’s copier shook her head and spoke out. “Wow… We really should go make it up to the two we took the lives from.” She said. “I’ve got two poor mares locked up in a little farm house and I should probably release them before somebody notices.”

With that, his ears flopped down and he pressed a hoof behind his head, rubbing at his neck. She tilted her head and gave him a suspicious look. “So… I’m guessing, just by intuition, that there’s something you aren’t telling me?”

He gave no hesitation to answering, knowing it would be of no use. “I never actually captured Spumone,” He muttered. “Yes, yes, I know it’s bad practice but I REALLY didn’t have time. I have to head back soon and I was hoping to get a good meal before I had to make the trek.”

As she raised a hoof and opened her mouth to respond, the two changelings dropped their ears flat across their skulls as the heard the door open downstairs. Snow’s doppelganger exploded into green flames again, once again taking the form of the pretty mare who grew little gardens for fun.

“Honey?” The voice called out as it travelled through the house. “Snow Pea, you here?”

Snow threw the (now only) changeling in the room a look that promised murder before she perused her way down the stairs and caught up with her husband, giving her best, most innocent smile as they saw each other.

“Hi, sweetie!” She said sweetly, smiling just as sweet.

He approached and wrapped a foreleg around her neck, giving her a gentle kiss on the cheek and sighing. “Wow, you would not BELIEVE the day I’ve had!” He said with enthusiasm. Looking into the kitchen, he sniffed a few times and scrunched his nose in. “It… smells like you have as well!” He said, turning and walking into it.

Snow laughed with hesitance, staying out in the hall. “Yeah, sorry about that. I’ve had a few things going for me today.”

She heard him laugh for a moment from the kitchen before saying something that made her heart sink and her ears flop.

“Oh, dear! You forgot the tomatoes! Don’t worry, I’ll go get some real fast!”

She bit her lip hard as he strolled passed her, smiling on the way out. “I’ll only be a minute!” He said cheerfully as he shut the door behind him.

She smiled back at the door as it closed, eye twitching.

“Fuck.”