Desertjack's craziest job ever

New Canterlot Republic intelligence division

Dosie on the events at site  'alpha'

Subject: desertjack

Occupation: mercenary

Current health status: suffering from malnutrition and several injuries (which were healed prior to the 'interview')

This file contains the written recordings of the questioning of Mr.Jack on the events leading up to and including the death of everypony except himself and his 'squad'  at site 'alpha' part one.

Subject: ah already told yall this three times already.what else is their ta tell ah was hired ta go with nineteen other freelance mercs ta that hellhole and fer WHAT? some stupid device that doesn't even work. It ain't ma fault tha others bought it,and don't even think ah'm goin back in there yer better off tryin ta getting a blowjob from a bloatsprite without it eatin ya than that.

Agent 1: no sir we don't plan on anypony going back in there. We just want to know what happened in there and what killed the other mercenaries that went in with you.would you like anything to drink or eat? you look like it would help.

Subject: Ya how about five Brahmin steaks seven scrambled eggs and twelve sparkle colas. Oh and fifty bottles of whiskey, cause ah'm gonna need it.

Agent 1:ok sir is there anything else you want?

Subject: Ya think tha fine lookin mare behind Ya would be up fer some fun later?

Agent 1: sir what my coworker does is between her and whoever.take it up with her.

Agent 2: if you're a good stallion and cooperate maybe I'll stop by later and show you a good time,but that is only if you behave and work with us.

Subject:hot Damn Ya gots it! So where do Ya want ta start.

Agent 1:From the beginning. Your name and Your occupation. next where were you when you got the contract? And who give you the contract.

Subject: ok ma name is desertjack and ah'm a mercenary.ah had jus finished a Job near new appaloosa when some feller said that he needed some work done but he couldn't give me details til ah 'cepted tha job. Normally ah wouldn't go anywhere near a job like tha 'cept ah wasn't in tha right state o mind.

Agent 1: can you describe him? And what do you mean right state of mind?

Desertjack: sir he was a young feller but old enough, had grey fur and a blue mane and tail with red stripes in em. As fer what ah ment ah was drunker than a Griffin on over potent whiskey.

Agent 1: so let me get this straight you were getting drunk when this stallion offered you a job and you accepted it? I'm finding this predicament very confusing.

Desertjack: told ya ah was drunk and he offered me a whole lot o caps fer what ah barely remember him saying a 'milk run'. *snort** milk run my flank.*

Agent 1:And how did you meet the other mercenaries you briefly worked with?

Desertjack:Ah meet em when ah woke up on the way there.

Agent 3:tell us about that.

Desertjack's POV

One month ago.

"Uhhh damnit ah never shoulda been drinkin"I said rolling on the floor of something moving

"Hey! shut the buck up! I already have a hangover don't make it worse."a female voice shouted followed by a symphony of whines and grunts of agitation from several others in the room.

"Uh what happen?" a mares voice said right next to me.

As I turned a pegasus with a. Red coat and blue mane and tail came into view not three inches from my muzzle. We sat like that for a minute or two before she spoke."did we do anything last night?"

"Ma'am ah don't even know who you are. ah was in New appaloosa when ah blacked out from drink in too much. So ah doubt it." I said trying my damndest to remember what had happened.

"Oh I was in Manehattan at ten pony tower." She said.

"Huh y'all tryin ta figure where we are too?" A young voice said to my left.

As I turned I saw a young unicorn colt ,almost a young stallion, sitting there rubbing his head. He had a emerald coat and silver mane and tail.

"You ok over there young colt?" I said.

"Hey old man I ain't no colt!" He said with a hostile tone.

"Damn! ah was jus makin sure yer all right is all. no reason ta yell at me." I said defensively.

"Just don't call me young. I hate it." He said turning away from me.

"What crawled up his flankhole and died?" The pegasus said.

"Now Now leave em be he is just sore right now is all." I said trying to reassure her.

"He still didn't need to snap like that."she said still a little stemmed.

"Hehehe it fine not the firs time." I said with a chuckle.

About that time another mare ,a earth pony, walked over saying. "Are you all alright over here?" Looking from me to the pegasus and over to the unicorn.

"Ah'm alright how about you miss?"I said looking at the pegasus.

"I'm fine but you will have to ask grumpy over there yourself. As for that miss stuff I'm Timeshot, who are you?" She said looking from me to the earth pony.

"I'm desertjack best sniper in the wasteland."I said with a little smugness.

"I'm therapeutic sound,but most call me klutz." The earth pony said shyly.

"Why call Ya klutz? Sounds down right disrespectful ta me." I said a little annoyed.

"oh I chose the nickname I'm a bit of one." Klutz said.

As she walked over to the colt another pony showed up and when Time and I turned we were met with a living wall of black fur covered muscles. My first reaction was to look up while time leapt  back in shock.

As I got a look at the station's face.he was older than the rest of us but still was strong. He had a golden mane and tail and a rather long horn growing from his head.when he looked down ta me he spoke. "Terribly sorry my dear fellow. I did not plan on scaring you and your compatriots. My name is Anvil and I was wondering if you were planing on working together for this job?"

"Uh well I'm no stranger ta work in with others and will team up but tha is up ta the rest o them if they wanna work with ya." I said looking at each of them.

"I'll do it."Timeshot said.

"As will I" klutz said.

"Whatever I'm in."the colt said with reluctantly.

"Hey yall forming team cuz I'm need one and the rest are done." A female voice said.

As we turned to her the first thing was her smell she smelled of ash and fuel with the hint of burnt flesh.next was her coat it was seafoam green and her mane and tail, what was left of it, was crimson.

"What? Your all lookin at me weirdly. Oh it's the way I look isn't it all from my last job pack of raiders with flamers."she said with a nervous chuckle.

"Hope they got the bad end of the fight." The kid said smirking.

"Jeez kid layoff 'er will ya! Sorry he is a bit thick headed." I said trying to defuse the situation.

"Its ok and kid Ya they did I burned them alive using incendiary bombs. By the way I'm Boomstick." She said with a smile.

As we told each other who we were a intercom came on and the voice of our employer started."welcome my dear mares and stallions. And it is wonderful to see that this group is bigger than the last one I hired. You all are aware you have been hired to retrieve something from a building at our destination, and before you ask No I don't know where exactly it is. But it is an experimental device from the old ministry of arcane science. As for equipment I have taken the liberty of giving you all the best in armor and weapons caps can buy also plenty of other essentials as well. So this vehicle will arrive soon have fun."with that the intercom shut off.

Not long after the sound of breaks was heard.