Special talents have a limit.
What I mean by this is that they have a limit to the amount of talent and help they can give a pony. A pony with a sharpshooting talent will eventually miss, a pony with a navigation talent will eventually get lost, a pony with a mutilatjon talent will eventually disembowel their victim wrong, and so on and so forth. You expect things to go bad in the Equestrian Wastelnad, expect things to fail and not go to plan. But not your special talent; the one thing that nobody can take from you even if they burn off your cutie marks, the one thing that's with you from the day you get it until the day you die. Steadfast, loyal, always ready to help.
But they will fail you just like anything else in due time. And just like many other things, will do so at the worst possible moment. Missing the last thing alive trying to kill you, getting utterly lost days and days from civilization, cutting the wrong thing on your victim and giving them a chance to fight back... Wether you're the most heroic pony in the wastes or a raping and pillaging raider, your special talent will fail you eventually.
How have I come to this conclusion?
First hoof experience.
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Beep, beep, beep.
Beep, beep, beep.
Beep, beep, b-CRASH!
Every evening it's the same thing: Alarm rings, throw the annoying thing into the wall and curse Time Turner industries for making such a durable alarm clock. Drag self out of bed and become accustomed to the waking world once more and simultaneously be happy and sad I'm alive to live in the Equestrian wasteland. Shower, use the bathroom, eat a breakfast (dinner?) of 200 year old food, put on my high rollers suit, grab my gun... You know, the normal morning routine.
I made my way out the door of my rather crappy apartment, heading outside towards the local casino, the Snake Eyes. It was easy to find, seeing as it was the biggest, brightest, and gaudiest building in the whole town. It was a wonder how every insect within twenty miles wasn't flocking to the place every night, but then they probably took one look at all the clashing colors, mismatched neon lights, polka dots, and stripes, and turned back around. Still, despite looking like several retarded foals were told to do what they pleased to the exterior, it was rather nice inside and bought a lot of caps to town. A lot of caps. A LOT.
And we had a plan to get our fair share.
We being Tootsie Roll, a rather chubby unicorn mare with a chclate brown coat and a black mane who ran a little candy shop; Tick Tock, a black earth pony stallion with a blue mane who was a local mechanic; and myself, plain old boring earth pony Lucky Seven, the inconspicuous looking stallion with the grey coat and brown mane who did odd jobs around town. We were going to rob the casino. Well, not rob in the traditional "go in, break the vault, take the loot" kind of way, we were going to rob it by beating the casino at its own game.
We had it all figured out: Never enter the casino at the same time, never enter together. Tick Tock would get some chips and go to the third Poker table. Me and Tootsie Roll would sit in specific seats that allowed us to see the other players cards, me relaying what was happening on my side to Tootsie, who them used her magic to stealthily relay this info to Tick. We'd never always win, but we'd always make a profit. After Tick cashed out, we'd meet the following day in Tootsies shop to spilt the profits evenly. Easy, simple, we still let others win, and best of all: no one was the wiser!
... So where were they? I couldn't see them among the much less gaudy red and silver interior of the casino, and they definitely weren't at our usual spot, which they should've been by now.
I sat down in my usual spot, ordering a drink and watching the Poker table as inconspicuously as I could. It must've been an hour I sat there, looking for any sign of my companions and sipping on Sparkle cola. I swear the dealer was looking at me... And that those security guards were coming my way... All half dozen of them. Yeah, I think it was time to go and pack. Just to be safe, you know? I crawled along the floor, using the slot machines as cover. I got some odd looks, but that would be greatly prefered to whatever would happen to me if I was caught!
It took a lot of crawling and hiding behind random things, but I finally made it to one of the lesser used side exits -going out the front door would've been suicide- and lucky me, it was ungaurded! I rushed to it, bursting through the metal door and into the dingy alley outside... Only to be surrounded by ponies, and to have something hit me in the back of the head before I could try and backpedal back inside. Nearly made it...
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I grasped my head with a groan, hoping that curling into a ball would help ease the pain. I should've left the moment I saw they weren't at the casino before me like usual. Now here I was, in some kind of expensive looking office, laying on some plush looking carpet with armed goons surrounding me and nothing but the clothes on my back from what I could feel. The quality of the floor I had probably been thrown on meant that I was most likely back in the Snake Eyes, which meant...
"You stole from me." I felt my heart sink at the voice, deep, commanding, and accented like a mobster in those old films. To be fair, he did fit the part: Chubby body dressed I a pinstripe suit, balding mane hidden with a fedora, the way he looked at you if you got on his bad side, like you wouldn't live to see tomorrow... "I don't like it when ponies steal from me." Baritone, owner of the Snake Eyes casino and most powerful pony around said, the displeasure clear in his voice. I looked up, seeing the stallion sitting at a big oak desk with across on his face.
"Mr. Baritone-" I started, trying to say something to get out of this situation. He wasn't having any of it.
"Shut it, you little shit." He growled. "Do you know how mucho key your little cheating scheme cost me?"
"I-"
"Ninety thousand caps over the past year." My eyes widened. I knew we'd gotten a lot of caps at times, but I never would've expected us to have stolen that much! "Now normally, you'd be dead already and we'd be turning over every board in your house looking for our caps, and that's coming-" My heart dropped into my stomach. "But I wanted you to see this first."
He turned around, looking out the big window of what I assumed was the top floor of the casino. I was wondering what I was supposed to be looking at besides the grey sky... Then a brown blur flew by the window, screaming its lungs out on its way to the ground. Oh goddesses, Tootsie!
"Shame, I loved her candy." Baritone said with some sadness in his voice as he turned back around, shaking his head before focusing back on me, eyes cold and hard. "Don't worry, your other cheating friend is down there already, and you'll be joining them soon enough. Try not to land on poor Tootsie, will ya? I'd like her to be at least somewhat recognizable for her funeral." He made a wave of his hoof, his guards moving closer to me.
I wasn't going to die today! I took a moment to think about my special talent: Luck. Represented with my cutie mark of a slot machine with three sevens on it. Most thought I was only good at slots, but I seemed to be lucky all around, and I really hoped now was one of those times! I kicked out at the closest guard, a unicorn levitating a pistol in his magic. My leg connected with his, making him lose his concentration as he fell over. I lunged forward and grabbed the pistol in my mouth, aiming it at the other guard and shooting him in the face several times. I immediately bolted for the door, long gone by the time Baritone started yelling for more guards.
I had no idea where I was going, but it didn't matter as long as it was away! I slid around a corner and past two guards before they had the time to gather their wits and give chase. All that mattered was getting away. Get home, grab as many caps as I can, move to Tenpony Tower...
My thoughts and running were interrupted by me smashing into an actual wall of pony. The massive stallion had his shotguns trained on me by the time I got t wits together. I scrambled to my hooves and started runnin away by the time he fired, the buckshot catching and shredding one of my hind legs. I fell over screaming, the stallion smirking as he ejected the spent shells and got ready to fire again. I tried to pull on the trivet to shoot him. Empty! In a fit of desperation, I threw my gun at him.
It hit him dead in the center of his head, the burly stallions eyes rolling back in his head as he fell unconscious.
I just stared at him for several seconds before remembering where I was and that I was gravely injured. I hobbled my way past him and into the stairwell where I was heading, two more guards coming from the lower floors. Up it is! I moved as fast as my injured leg would let me, somehow staying ahead of the guards enough to make it to the roof.
Nothing. Absolutely nothing up here but some AC units and other stairwell entrances... Which all had guards pourin out of them! I galloped my way towards the end of the roof that was as fat away from all the guards as possible. I liked over the edge, pondering which goddess I'd meet first, when I saw my salvation: Matteesses! A bunch of old, musty ones thrown away from the surrounding buildings, I supposed. It'd still hurt like hell, but at least I'd be alive!
With all of Baritones guards closing in, I took a few steps back, galloped as best as I could, and jumped. I looked back at all of the stunned guards, grinning like a maniac and giving them a salute as I got ready to fall out of sight...
A bullet ripped through my leg. Then one through t stomach. Then an absolute hail of bullets began to rain down on me, all but tearing me to pieces. They say that I was dead before I hit the ground, but I felt hitting the soft, dirty mattresses. And in the last moments of my life, one thought ran through my mind:
Special talents are fucking bullshit.
I burst through the door leading to the roof, my companion following me and a couple dozen ghouls following him. It had been an average scavenging job at first: Go in, find valuable things, come out. We'd came armed, of course, but neither of us had expected the massive hoard of ghouls that had come pouring out of every nook and cranny to gnaw on us. We quickly turned tail and ran after the first five we dropped was replaced by twenty five more coming at us.
Of course, with most of the rotting bastards coming behind us, that left us no choice but to go up. And up... And up... And up! Seriously, this building must've been a thousand stories high! And after all that running, we were STILL in the same boat we were several minutes ago: Being chased by a hoard of the undead with rapidly diminishing ways of escape.
"Do you trust me?" The stallion beside me asked, and I couldn't help but smirk.
"How many times have I heard that before?" I said back with a cheeky grin. How many times HAD I heard that from him over the years? Had to be a lot...
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I walked around the open market the town had, taking in everything. I couldn't believe that there was so much life outside of the Stable! Sure, it was all mostly cobbled together out of junk or repurposed old buildings, and the ponies were scavenging and didn't have any crops or farmable land, but still! Living ponies! On the surface! Hundreds of years after the balefire apocalypse! It was absolutely, positively-
"Excuse me, miss?" Someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around to see who it was, finding a black unicorn stallion with a dusty brown mane looking at me. He looked like a normal wastelander: Slightly raggedy clothes, a little underweight, a few scars...
"Can I help you?" I'd noticed quite a few ponies staring at me as I'd looked about the town, probably because of my Stable barding and Pipbick. Or the fact that I looked clean. No one had approached me yet, though. Well until now.
"I'm going to do something pretty weird, but I need you to trust me, as it will save your life." The way he spoke was with so much seriousness that I took a step back. Was my life really in danger, or was he just trying to play me? I WAS curious to see where he was going with this, so I nodded.
"Um... Ok...?" I gave a shrug. What's the worst that could happen?
"Great!" He said with a grin, before he pulled both of us onto our hind hooves, twisted me around so my back was pressed against his chest, and pressed the barrel of a gun to my head with what I guessed was magic.
Everyone around us slowly came to a halt, and eventually, it felt like the entire town had stopped, silently staring at us. No one moved for several seconds, which gave my brain enough time to realize that I was being held at gunpoint and told me to panic and start struggling. "Wait, I didn't agree to this!"
"Of course you didn't, that's why you're a hostage." He replied, sounding like that was setting even a foal would understand.
"But you said-"
"I said "shut up before I shoot you", if I recall." The tone of his voice turned cold, and it made me shut right up. It also made me start to truly fear for my life. "And I also said start handing over your caps or valuables or I'll blow her brains out!"
There were several more seconds of silence, the townsfolk looking between scared little me and my captor, and... Then they just started to go back to their normal routines, completely ignoring the two of us.
Apparently, my would be ponynapper was just as confused as I was. "Uh, hello? I'm gonna splatter her brains out, remember that?"
"Why should we care?" One rather gruff stallion asked, others around us voicing their agreement.
"Because you'll all die if you don't." The smugness was just oozing out of his voice.
Now they began to laugh at him, louder and louder. The same gruff stallion paused and looked at us. "Oh wait, you're serious?" Then they began laughing even harder.
"I am serious. You see this?" He poked me in the chest, right where the 23 on my jumpsuit was. "Stable 23. Social experiment there went completely wrong, ponies came out so violent and bloodthirsty that it makes raiders look like misbehaving foals."
Now that was just completely wrong! I tried to say something, but I didn't think it'd be heard over the hysterical laughter of the townsponies. I was happy that they didn't believe him, but their laughter was getting kind of annoying.
"You remember those scars? The ones I never talked about?" The laughter slowly died down, the ponies around us starting to look more worried. "Stable 23. Barely escaped with my life."
"You're lying." A mare said from off to the side of us.
"Am I? Don't let the scared filly act and tears fool you." Was I really crying? "She's a cold blooded murderer, and a scout for those bastards. If I kill her, they'll come running, and they'll kill every. Single. One. Of you. In ways more horrible than you ever could've imagined." Now everyone was looking really worried. "Fear for my life" kinda worried. Nopony made a move, afraid to call him out on his bluff and potentially suffer a horrible fate. "Got your attention now? Good, now start making with the caps and valuables!"
About half an hour later, much of the towns valuables and caps - which I guessed were currency or something- were in a large sack that was carefully looped around my neck. "Yeah, that's good." The stallion that was still holding me at gunpoint said. I could feel him nodding his head, too. "Now we're going to leave, and if I catch any of you following us, I'll kill her and have her whole Stable come and massacre you." Slowly, we started moving backwards, both myself and the sack of loot being dragged. I thought about going limp to make it harder for him to drag me away, but seeing as the townsfolk weren't going to be of any help, I decided the next best option was to get us secluded so I could make an escape or attack him or something.
We continued like this for sometime, crawling our way out of town and over a few hills before he finally dragged me behind a large rock and came to a stop, panting a bit. "Okay, I'm going to let you go, but please, give me a chance to explain myself before you attack or run away or anything." Now he sounded like when I'd first met him, more calm and much more friendly. True to his word, he let to of me and backed away. I would've chanced an escape, but I didn't know if he still had that gun out or not. I figured my best course of action would be to humor him hole I figured out a plan of attack.
"Well? I'm REALLY interested to hear the explanation for this." I made sure the saracasm in my voice was so heavy it could be cut with a knife.
"The town we were just in was a slaver outpost." He started to explain, walking around so he was in front of me. "If I didn't get to you, some much worse ponies would've, and you would probably be on your way to Paradise Falls or Appleloosa with a bomb collar around your neck."
Slavers? I thought that they were some kind of kinky fetish cult or something. I told him as such and he stared at me like I was an idiot.
"You haven't been out here long, have you?"
I shook my head. "First day. First town."
He sighed. "Figures... Listen, how about you come along with me?"
Fat chance! "With the pony who ponynapped me at gunpoint? I don't think so."
"Would you rather take your chances with the slavers?" He asked.
"I don't think they'll bother a pony from a Stable that's "makes raiders look like misbehaving foals"." I smirked. He'd given me a perfect way to get what I want from the town without worry!
To my dismay, he returned my smirk. "And what happens after? You still don't know about surviving in the wasteland, and you can't stay in that town forever."
Damn, he had a point. I couldn't trust the story he spun to keep the slavers at bay forever, I had very little knowledge about this new world, and worst of all, I didn't have any of these caps that was appearently the currency around here. I couldn't even buy a cup of water! I hated to admit it, but he was my best shot at survival right now. "Alright, you win." I said with a sigh, hanging my head in defeat.
"Great!" He almost jumped in the air from excitement. "I'll teach you everything I know. You'll be a regular wasteland warrior in no time!" He undid the loops around my neck, opening up the sack for the both of us to see. There was a smorgasbord of weapons, armor, ammo, and various supplies, as well as lots of bottle caps. Huh, didn't expect caps to be literal... "Some good stuff, here. Shame we won't be able to go back there. I've never been a fan of slavery, but they always have some great gear."
Going back there definitely wasn't an ideal option the more I thought about it. I dug through the bag, pulling out some armor that looked like it'd fit me and a battle saddle, looking over any weapons that I might be good at using. I had a feeling that if I was going to be hanging out with this stallion, I'd have to fight or defend myself sooner or later, and some extra protection wouldn't hurt either. Speaking of this extremely helpful stallion... "I never did get your name. I don't even know why you're doing all this."
He just grinned and gave a bow. "Silver Tongue, at your service. And I helped because not only was it the right thing to do, but it was also a great way to make some good caps!" Silver raised his head to look at me. "Always be willing to help out who you can, especially when you can make a profit while doing so!"
"I'll keep that in mind." I said with a roll of my eyes, strapping a shotgun into one side of the battle saddle and getting some matching shells for it. "I'm Double Shot, former Stable 23 energy replenishment specialist."
He looked me over scrutinizingly, narrowing his eyes. "Brown coat, brown mane, hmm... I can see it." Anypony with eyes could see it. "Energy replenishment specialist, huh? Sounds important."
"I made coffee." I deadpanned. "That was my job for the past six years, but I got bored of it, so I decided to leave, have some adventure or something."
"Well you found the right stallion!" Silver Tongue was grinning again as he closed up the sack and threw it over his back. "Just stick with me, and I'll show you all kinda of adventures! C'mon, we'll go through this more when we're someplace safer." He started trotting off, and I quickly scrambled and fell into place beside him. The armor was a little too loose and I only had a few shells for my new shotgun, but I had a weapon, armor, wasn't a slave, and most importantly, had somepony to guide me through the wastes so that I don't die.
Not a bad first day outside.
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"Are you sure about this?" I asked quietly for the umpteenth time, standing on one side of the doorway. It had been a few months since I met Silver Tongue, and I'd been getting aquatinted to life in the wasteland. Learned how to shoot much better, hunt, trade and barter, repair things... I've even learned how to overcome the gut wrenching feeling of taking a life.
"I'm sure." He replied just as quietly. "I've watched him for several days, and he's the only one who's been coming in and out of this house."
"I don't know..." I still had lukewarm hooves about this whole bounty hunting business that Silver does. ... Not to mention the almost solid red line on my EFS from the amount of red bars in front of me. I was getting good with my shotgun, but not good enough to take that many enemies on at once.
"Just trust me." Silver said with a smile. For how annoying he was, the stallion had an infectious smile that I couldn't help return with a nervous one of my own. "Ready?"
I took a deep breath and steeled myself, moving to stand in front of the door. "As I'll ever be."
"On three. One... Two... Three!"
I quickly bucked the door clean off its hinges, spinning on my hooves to meet the incoming hail of gunfire that'd end my life... Except it never came. Instead, what greeted me as I made my way inside were radroaches. Dozens of them tied to sticks that were stuck on the wall. No wonder my EFS was going crazy, I'd never seem so many bugs at once! Carefully making my way past the chittering things crawling in place, I entered the kitchen. Empty. I checked the laundry room. Empty.
This was how it went throughout the house, me checking rooms first with Silver following a room or two behind in case our target tried to sneak up behind me or escape. In a few minutes, I'd cleared every room except for the last one upstairs, which I guessed was the master bedroom. I entered carefully, scanning the room as I'd done before. There were two closets, so I decided to check the left one first.
Bad mistake.
I heard hoof steps rapidly approaching me from behind, and before I could react, I was knocked into the closets door by something heavy. My side welled up in pain, and I definitely felt a few ribs moving unnaturally as I tried to roll off my injured side. Of course, before I could do that, I had the barrel of a shotgun shoved in my face.
"Thought you could get Ol' Boomstick, huh? Well Ol' Boomstick got you instead, ha!" This was definitely the guy we were supposed to capture. Unicorn, mangy cream fur, dirty green mane, crazy look in his eyes, and cutie mark of his namesake. Said namesake was also pointed at my face right now. "Ol' Boomstick knew someone would use their fancy gizmos to find him, knew my little friends would distract you, make you come hunt me down cause you couldn't see me." He racked back the shotgun, his magic engulfing the trigger. "But Ol' Boomstick got you!"
Before he could fire, a gun was pressed against his head. Out the corner of my eye, I could see Silver Tongue smirking. "And I got you. Now why don't you put down that shotgun before Ol' Boomstick meets Ol' shoot you in the face?"
The stallion hesitated for a few seconds, before growling and throwing the shotgun down. Before Silver could make his next quip, Ol' Boomstick rounded on him and smacked his pistol aside. He tackled the other unicorn into the wall, one hoof on his neck and the other on his horn to knock it around. Every time he tried to use magic.
Seeing my friend being choked to death, I decided now was a good time to get off the floor and help out. Not wanting to possibly injure Silver, I charged Ol' Boomstick and knocked him down. It only took a few seconds for Silver to recover, but those were an extremely tense few seconds as I fought to keep the stronger and magic capable stallion down.
Between the two of us, we finally managed to get Ol' Boomstick shackled and with an inhibitor ring on him. "Not bad for your first time bounty hunting." Silver congratulated.
"I think you did horrible."
I promptly hit Ol' Boomstick in the nuts. "No one asked you."
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I fell onto the bed, giggling like a schoolfilly. Silver Tongue wasn't far behind, flopping down next to me. We'd recently scored a big bounty, the biggest in the last few years, and decided to celebrate by getting completely shitfaced. The bartender had the decency to kick us out while we could still walk, so we stumbled back to our room and layed down on one of the beds in it.
Together.
Feeling all kinda of happy and excited.
We looked at each other, and our laughter died down until it stopped. I still don't know who made the first move, but soon we were kissing, our tongues wrestling with the others as we fought to show our lust the most. Silver rolled on top of me and deepened the kiss, both of us groaning as our nethers ground against each other.
It wasn't long before he was fully hard, his stallionhood hot and throbbing against my belly. It felt rather large, and I felt myself wink in excitement. I'd never done this before! Wait... My alcohol addled brain finally reminded me that I was a virgin. I broke off from the kiss, panting as Silver just moved on to kissing my neck without a beat, his hips starting to slide his member back for entry...
"W-wait!" I called out, and immediately he stopped, looking down at me with concern. "I'm still... You know..."
It took a few moments for his drunken brain to register what I was saying, but he finally nodded in understanding. "Would you trust me with this honor?"
"Pfft, honor." I giggled. Still, it was a good question. I trusted Silver quite a lot, and felt like he was my best friend in the whole world. I knew he wouldn't hurt me, that he'd be as gentle as possible and try to make this as enjoyable as possible... But as much as my body wanted it and my mind tried to convince me, I... "I just can't... I'm sorry..."
He leaned down and kissed me on the lips. "It's ok, you have nothin to apologize for." He smiled before rolling off of me. "I'll go take care of this bad boy, and then we can get to bed."
The unicorn headed off for the bathroom, and I just sat there watching him, wondering what it could've felt like, if I made the right decision... "Yeah, ok..."
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"WHAT?!" I yelled at Silver Tongue, completely flabbergasted at what he said.
"I just think it's best if I go bounty hunting with Candy for a while." He repeated.
Candy was a white coated unicorn mare with a bright blue mane. Calling her pretty was an understatement. She didn't wear much armor or seem to even have any weapons on her! I scoffed at the newcomer. "Want to go booty hunting is more like it!"
"It's not like that, honest!" He threw his hooves up in defense. "This'll pay out big time for all of us, trust me."
Trust him?! How can I do that when he goes and pulls shit like this! "I trusted you to stick with me. I trusted you to not run off with some hussy. I trusted you to be my friend!" I snorted and turned away. "I don't think you deserve my trust anymore."
"Double Shot, please..." He started wearily, only for Candy to cut in.
"I think we should just go, baby." She suggested.
"Yeah "baby", you should." Note to self, somehow change the locks.
"Alright..." I could hear them both trotting to the door of our- my house. "This'll turn out for the best, trust me."
I scoffed and waited until the door closed before starting to cry.
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WHAM!
The massive bag of caps that was half as big as a pony landed on my welcome mat, a grinning Silver Tongue standing over it. "Told you it'd work out."
I was completely taken aback, first by the fact that I hadn't seen him for nearly two years, and second by the kings random of caps at my hooves. "I... You... But how... Candy..."
"Was a wanted mare." He explained, pulling out an old wanted poster. It described a huge reward for a monster that'd been terrorizing several more affluent places across the wasteland, sleeping with people, killing them, and then robbing them. There was no set description, except that it was always a mare. "Wanted changeling is more accurate, actually."
Wow... Talk about unfair advantages! A creature that could be anypony at anytime? I shuddered at the thought. "So how did you...?"
"Candy liked to brag before she killed her victims, apparently. You'd be surprised how far a tape recorder, some pillows, a dildo, and some very impressive ventriloquism skills will get you." He chuckled. "Got her confession on tape, shot her legs and threw an inhibitor ring on her, and dragged her to the nearest place I could collect." The stallion smiled at me. "Sorry it took me so long to get back. I had to really work her over and get everything righ for this to succeed."
I just giggled. And then chuckled. And then I was full out laughing, holding onto the doorway to stop myself from falling over.
"What?" Silver was obviously confused. "What's so funny?"
He was even more confused when I kissed him on the lips. We hadn't done anything like that since that one drunken night, but I always felt something between us since then. I always thought it was awkwardness, but now, I had a pretty good idea what it was.
I broke the kiss, grinning like a madmare. "You crazy stallion." I dragged him inside, pausing just long enough to get the massive bag of caps inside and close the door before I was back to dragging him away.
"W-wait!" He called back, hooves flailing uselessly against the ground. "Where are we going?"
"Where do you think, big boy?" I asked, throwing open the door to our bedroom.
"Oh..." He seemed to be lost in thought as I heaves him over my shoulder and tossed him on the bed. "Are you sure about this?" The concern and care was clear in his voice and eyes, and I couldn't help but grin just a little wider at it.
"Trust me, I am!"
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"Hey!" Silver Tongues voice snapped me out of my memories. The ghouls were still chasing us, and we were running out of rooftop. Neither of us were slowing down, though. "I said, do you trust me?"
I looked over at the stallion that'd saved my life when I left the Stable, my wasteland teacher that'd become my best friend, my first time, my partner in crime... I gave the stallion that I loved the biggest grin I could muster. "Whaay do you think?"
"Then jump!" He shouted!
And we did, leaping off the edge of the building, flying like pegasi for a few amazing seconds before gravity started to pull us down. It was awesome, being in free fall, heading for the ground, the wind in my mane...
"I sure hole I think of something before we hit the ground!"
Yeah... Wait.
"WHAT?!"
"Why?"
It was a simple question, but one that I didn't have the answer to.
We'd gone out in search of other ponies to trade with, finding a caravan after a few hours of searching. They opened fire as soon as they saw us. It was my third time out with the trading party, my second time firing a gun, and the first time I'd shot a pony. The earth pony mare was blue coated with a grey mane, and currently had a nicely sized hole in her from where my shotgun caught her. There was no way she would last much longer. Still, she kept her eyes locked with mine, filled with emotions that I couldn't properly figure out the reason behind. Was that anger because I'd shot her, or because she'd let herself get taken out by a ten year old colt? That sadness because she wasn't going to see somepony again, or because she was in pain? That fear because she thought we were going to do something to her, or because she didn't know what awaited her on the other side?
Regardless of what she felt, she still looked me in the eyes and said "You... Monster..."
She died soon after that, but I didn't stop staring at the dead mare. Not while all the others celebrated our victory, not when one of us hitched up to the cart and started to pull it back home -we'd killed the Brahmin pulling it for more meat-, and even when we crested the next hill and her body was out of sight, I didn't stop staring. Her words echoed in my mind over and over and over, making me ask myself one thing over and over:
Was I a monster?
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"Mom?" I asked quietly. My mother, Twelve Gauge, looked down at me with a smile. She always had a smile. Around me, anyway. She cursed and yelled a lot at the others -I wasn't supposed to hear all that, but it's not my fault she has a very loud voice- but they respected her greatly for it. And why shouldn't they? She led us, was really brave, really smart, really strong for a unicorn, and good with her gun. And her red coat and golden mane were pretty.
"Yes, Flechette? Is something wrong?" She still had a smile on her face. I didn't return it.
"Mom, am I... Are we... Monsters?"
Her smile fell. "Who told you you were a monster?" I could tell that she wanted to give whoever it was a "stern talking to."
"The mare I killed earlier today..." My voice fell even more as those words hit me again in my mind.
"Oh, honey..." She pulled me in close, putting a hoof on my shoulder. "Bloom around you, tell me what you see.
I did. My friends and neighbors were all mingling and dancing around the bonfire, the smell of cooking Brahmin corpse filling the air. Singing, music, laughter, general chatter, and screaming could be heard. I guess someone alive had been brought back today. I wonder if they were going to be hung from a lamppost or nailed to a wall this time... "I just see everyone in town enjoying themselves."
"Exactly. These ponies that call us monsters, that want to kill us, they think we've forgotten the old ways of friendship and feelings." She explained with a smile. "But we haven't. We work together for a common goal, we support each other, we laugh, love, cry, everything." A sigh left her, expression hardening. "But these ponies are too set in the ways of the old world. They know the values of the old ways, but they haven't adapted to this new world. We've done both, and that's why they want to kill us, why they hate us. They call us monsters because we've evolved and they haven't, so don't feel bad about what these outsiders have to say, okay honey?"
"Okay..." I didn't understand all of that completely, but it did make me feel better.
Mom smiled and ruffled my mane. "That's my boy. How about we go celebrate your first kill with some ice cream?"
"Can I have extra Mintals?"
She smiled. "Party Time flavor."
"Yay!"
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The severed head of a colt landed in front of me with a wet thump. I sighed and picked the thing up, which was still leaking blood, and tossed it back towards where it came from. "Sorry guys, I don't feel like playing headball."
A bunch of "awwws" followed my statement. "But you're our best offensive player!" "You always set it up for cool slam dunks!"
"I know, But I'm just... Not feeling it. I don't know." I didn't want to tell them why I was feeling this way. On our last raid (I now knew that that was what they really were), one of the things I'd collected was The Wasteland Survival Guide. At fist, I thought I'd just be able to use it to get the jump on our enemies (mostly innocent ponies trying to survive), but the more I read this book, the more I found it useful. It was the same stuff Mom and the other elders had told me, but... Better. More detailed. I was quite enjoying it, to be honest.
Then I got to the part about raiders.
I took it like mom had told me at first, ponies angry at the way we survive in the wasteland, jealous that we've taken the old ways and evolved with them while they've stayed the same. But the more I read it just to see how wrong they were, the more I found myself agreeing with them. Sure, we were a bit bloodthirsty, I suppose. I could also agree that our weapons weren't in the best of condition. I guess we did almost always use the same tactic of rushing forward without any regard for our lives and overwhelming our targets by numbers and firepower. We did rape and mutilate our prisoners... And we did use a lot of chems. Like, a lot. A LOT. And-
By the time I finished agreeing with nearly everything, I was sick to my stomach. They didn't hate us because we adapted to the wasteland better, they hated us because we're a bunch of sadists who got hopped up on drugs and killed anything that wasn't us! And sometimes we even killed eachother!
I'd been depressed all week, partly from the information, partly because after five years, that voice was back. That stupid damn voice! Over and over and over!
"Monster..."
Just hearing it made me run home and throw up my lunch. She was right! All those years and the mare I first killed was right!
"Monster..."
I couldn't take it anymore, I had to... To... Talk to someone, or something. Mom would understand, right? Right? She'd tell me that all of what this Ditzy Doo said was wrong, right?
"Monster..."
But it'd all be a lie and I'd know it! She'd probably beat me within an inch of my life for believing this stuff now that I was older. Or worse, someone else might actually end me because they think I'm going soft or something!
"Monster..."
No, I couldn't live like this anymore. I can't take that goddesses damned voice anymore! I left my bathroom and went over to my nightstand, picking up the knife I had on it. "Always keep a weapon nearby" mom had said. I don't think she intended for it to be used as an easy way to kill myself. I picked up the knife with my hooves -really wish I'd been born a unicorn at times like this- wish , trembling slightly as I placed it at my neck, feeling the warm metal against my skin.
As I stood there, about to kill myself and cure being born an earth pony, a thought hit me. What would this accomplish? I'd be dead, sure, but everyone else here would still be alive. I'd get that damn voice to stop, but all the other monsters would still be here. I pulled the knife away from my throat, staring at it. Slowly but surely, ideas started forming in my head. I knew what I had to do to make up for this.
I just hope everyone will forgive me when I meet them in Tartarus...
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It took a little over three years for me to strike. The plan was easy to come up with, I'd done that in a week. The real challenge was squirreling away enough supplies and ammo to survive a trip wherever I go. I also had to build a new set of armor, as walking anywhere with my raider armor would get me killed.
The plan was simple enough: Get them all drunk on wild Pegasus mixed with some sleeping pills I had found during a raid. Once they were all out cold, I'd start slitting throats. A good plan, in theory, and one that had worked so far. But now as I stood over my first victim, a stallion who lived alone, I didn't think I could do it.
"Monster..."
I know! I fucking know I'm a monster! What is this going to accomplish?!
"Monster..."
Will you just leave me the fuck alone already! This won't bring you back, this won't bring anyone back!
"Monster..."
... But it will stop ponies from suffering what all of them here did, wouldn't it? With a sigh, I surrendered to my fate, prayed to the goddesses for forgiveness, and quickly dragged the knife across his throat.
This is how it went for the rest of the night. House after house, pony after pony, mares and stallions... The only ones I'd spare would be anyone my age and younger. At least that's what I kept telling myself.
Then I came for my mother.
I stood over her for what felt like hours, trying to will myself to slit her throat, to kill the mare who'd brought me into this world and raised me. I was a monster, a raping, mutilating, drug using monster, yes, but she'd still raised me to the best of her ability. I looked from the bloody knife down to her again. She wore a smile, like she always did when I was around...
I couldn't do it. I ran from the room and started throwing on my non raider armor I'd pulled out earlier. Briefly, it occluded to me that I should say something, leave a note or something. I quickly scrawled out the only two words I could think to say to her:
I'm sorry.
And with that, I ran. I ran off into the early morning light as foals and teenagers started crying about their parents. I couldn't help but cry with them. Was what I'd done right? Would it help save lives? Was I still a monster?
The voice of my first kill didn't answer me.
Author's Note
I'm working on the next chapter of Hellraisers, I swear, but I really wanted to share these. It's also some more of my writing to tide you over until the next chapter. Enjoy!
