Penile Genesis
"Dear Princess Sunbutt," the old and grizzled stallion stated as he stepped into the starlit pathways of the eternal ether."I'd love to be reincarnated again."
No surprise there, Celestia thought to herself. After spending nearly five millennia carefully guiding her subjects into the afterlife, she was more than a little used to Starswirl's frequent requests for reincarnation. While she did have a policy to accept all such requests, assuming they weren't mean-spirited, his incessant applications for another swing at life were starting to grate on her nerves.
"You do realize that while on the Equine world, you will have no recollection of this or any other past lives, right?"
"Of course, your Majesty. We've been through this before."
"You will be a mortal, as before."
"Yes, your Majesty."
"And when you die, you'll remember all your past lives."
"Naturally."
"And you don't have any reservations?"
"None."
Celestia sighed. As much as she hated to admit it, recycling old bodies was much easier than creating new ones from scratch. While most ponies would never realize it, much of the reason that ponykind seemed to repeat itself so much was due to her lack of creativity when creating them. It wasn't like they'd be around long enough to figure it out, right?
That whole line of reasoning fell flat in the face of Starswirl, however. In ever iteration prior, he'd become more and more aware of just how lazy ponykind's head matron and holy creator was. He seemed to point this out anytime she tried to slap an old manestyle or body-type onto his new form, and she was quickly running out of new ideas to sate his need for originality.
"When are you going to get tired of this?" Celestia asked her old nemesis.
"When are you going to actually get off your high horse and rule your ponies like a proper god would?" Starswirl retorted. "It's not like you're particularly busy, considering the fact that time was your own creation in the first place."
"I..." Celestia wracked her mind for an answer. "Well, my little pony, it has to do with this little thing called freewill. It requires that I-"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've heard this all before. At least do me the courtesy of coming up with a different argument next time, will ya?"
"..."
"Anyways, about my new body..."
"Yes, your new body. Don't worry, I'll come up with something great for you this time around, I promise," Celestia said halfheartedly. "Just go over there, or something," she commanded, waving her hoof in the general direction of some other piece of ether.
"Actually, I'd love to come up with something myself," Starswirl said, idly playing with a piece of ether cloud like it was putty. It coalesced around the tip of his hoof before sliding back into the writhing essence of reality itself. "No offense, but your past creations seem a bit bland."
"Oh?"
"Yes. I've been reincarnated dozens of times, and not once have I gone through one without finding at least a score of other ponies that looked like recolored doppelgangers of myself." The old stallion shuddered slightly. "I feel a bit cheated every time I wake up here."
"Well I never!" Celestia huffed indignantly. "Are you saying that you could do a better job creating a perfect stallion than I could, mortal?"
"Yes."
"Of all the nerve!" the solar goddess shouted in indignation. Her rainbow-hued mane flared up with her temper, taking on a deeper, more malevolent tone to it. "I've seen more years than you've seen days, yet you have the audacity to question my tastes? Just who the hell do you think you are?!"
"Starswirl the Bearded, naturally."
"You...you....you...."
"Yes?"
Celestia paused to take a deep breath. Why was she getting so upset about this? He's just a lowly mortal with poor tastes. It's not like he could come up with anything better, could he? "Alright, Starswirl, you win. I'll give you just this once to come up with anything you want. If it's within my power to grant it, I will."
The crusty old stallion's face lit up like a sadistic foal's after successfully punting a cute puppy over a hoofball post from thirty yards. He'd just made the winning move and he couldn't feel more ecstatic about it.
"Oh, all the possibilities!" He giggled merrily. "I could make myself a huge hunk with an curly mane or a skinny intellectual type with a completely clean-shaven chin!"
"You could," Celestia responded with a huff. "You could even decide on one of those quickly so I can get back to playing banana phone with my little sister." The older mare's face took a dreamy expression. "She's so adorable."
"Yes, yes, I've met her once or twice. Even she insists that you should join your ponies some day, you know that?" Starswirl sighed. "But back on topic, I think I'd like to try out living my life as a mare."
"A mare?"
"Yes." Starswirl smiled. "I've always wondered what it'd be like to have steamy lesbian sex, and this is the perfect opportunity. It gets old, being a stallion and all."
"No."
"What?"
"I said no," Celestia replied. "Every soul is born with a gender at heart. Putting a stallion's soul in a mare's body would cause you to live your life thinking you'd be born wrong. Do you really want that? What would you even look like?"
"Well I was thinking about using different shades of violet, but I guess I see your point." Starswirl sighed. "I'll still want to try that someday, you know."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, just hurry it up already."
The salty stallion sat down on his rump, putting a hoof on his chin so he could think. Celestia tried not to groan as she waited for him to come up with something. Did he always have to overthink everything?
"I'm done."
"Finally!" Celestia said. She smiled at her subject. "So what have you come up with?"
"A few things, first." The stallion stood up, stretching languidly in front of his goddess. "First of all, I'd like to be both a unicorn and a pegasus."
"What?!"
Starswirl put a hoof to her mouth, silencing her. "Now hear me out, Sunbutt. I've lived lives as pegasi, unicorns, and earth ponies. I know how to use all of these powers effectively. Why not let me use all three at once?"
"Because..."
"Furthermore, I'd like for my coat to be a deep shade of black. Jet black, preferably."
"Now that would just look stu-"
"I'm not done yet!" Starswirl nearly shouted. "You gave me your word! Now shut up and let me finish!"
Celestia sat down on her rump, a glare across her face. If it weren't for the fact that Starswirl was just about the only pony in existence to be able to understand her, Celestia would smite him where he stood for his insolence.
"I'd also like for my mane to be a crimson red, though I feel that a few black streaks running through it would be a nice touch."
In all her years of creating ponies, Celestia never thought she'd have to create something so absurd. What the hell did he take her for?
"Is that all, my little pony?"
"No, I'd like one more thing."
"Yes?"
"I'd like a big, purple dick."
Celestia was sure she misheard that. He probably said something along the lines of 'I'm like a big, stupid prick,' to which she'd agree wholeheartedly. Even Starswirl had better fashion sense than to actually request a violet phallus, right?
"Come again?"
"I said," Starswirl started, taking in a deep breath, a smug look on his face. "My dick."
"Yes?"
"I'd like it big."
"We established that."
"And purple."
"No."
"You promised."
"No, no, no, no, NO, NO, NO!!" Celestia ranted, stamping her hooves in frustration. "I will not allow that! A black and red alicorn? Why not. A stupid looking mane style that makes me think of the imaginings of a colorblind five-year-old? Sure. A purple dick big enough to fit my own massive pussy? Absolutely not!"
"Big enough to fit...your...Why not?!"
"Because, my little pony, everything I create carries my signature!" Celestia rolled her eyes. "Just think of what the other gods with their universes would think of me if I gave you a purple dick? Why do you even want one?"
Starswirl giggled. "Purple's my favorite color."
"You can be such a mare sometimes, you know that?"
"Well, if you want, you could always make me a lavender mare with-"
"No! Absolutely not!"
"Then make my dick purple!" Starswirl shouted. "Give me what I want at least this once!"
Celestia prepared her retort before realizing she was arguing with a mortal about what color dick he could and could not have. She'd already agreed to make him an alicorn, so why would it matter if he had a stupidly colored dick?
"Alright, fine." She circled him, looking him up and down. "You can have your enormous purple cock."
"YES!" He squealed with joy, hopping around his creator. "YES, YES, YES, YES, YES!!"
"On one condition."
"Shit."
"You, sir, will have to test this ginormous cock out before we can unleash it on the world of mortals." Celestia smirked. "Sadly, there aren't many immortals out there that could fit the massive girth you're requesting."
Starswirl shrugged. "Who do you have in mind?"
Celestia batted her eyelashes at her subject. "Oh, I think you know perfectly well who I'm talking about."
The stallion bore a sly grin. "Alright, let's get this party started!"
Five minutes of grueling transformation magics, a lot of unmasculine screaming, and one two foot cock later, and a black and red alicorn stood in front of Celestia, stretching his wings with a pleased smile.
"This is better than I expected," Starswirl said. "I only requested this form to convince you to make me a mare, but I think I could get used to this."
"Oh, it's no problem re- WAIT WHAT?!"
He strode up to her, nuzzling her affectionately. "It's of no concern now." He purred. "You've kept up your end of the bargain, so I'll keep up mine."
The newly minted stallion straddled his maker, lining up his new toy before thrusting forward. Celestia cooed as she felt herself penetrated in ways she'd never encountered before. She could feel every inch of his length, every vein and divot sliding against her vagina as it slid into place.
"Oh!" She moaned, rubbing her flank against his thighs in anticipation. "Make it worth it. Make my creating your dick worth every inch!"
Starswirl smiled, nibbling on her ear before whispering into it. "I hope you enjoy this, you dirty slut." He pulled out, almost letting the tip of his penis exit her before ramming it back forward. Celestia gasped. Why hadn't she made a dick that big before? Hell, why hadn't she just made all stallions have dicks that big? It hardly made sense for her to give herself such a huge pussy if she never made anything to fill it.
"Oh yes, Starswirl!" She shouted. "Take me! Take your dirty slut goddess!"
The horny stallion didn't need any further prompting. He let himself go wild, thrusting and moaning and sweating as he pleased. The two of them were more than just servant and master right then, more than ruler and peasant, more than creator and creation. They were two old friends finally exploring a new side of themselves that they'd never felt before. They were lovers, and Celestia loved every moment of it.
It wasn't long before she felt her climax coming. Years of neglect and repressed horniness did the goddess no favors with her sexual stamina, and she felt her vagina vibrating with each new thrust.
"S-starswirl..." She panted out his name, trying to give him some warning. He was grunting, thrusting forward over and over as her pussy clenched around his dick. She wanted him to come with her, to fill her up with every drop of his seed. "Cum inside of me!"
Starswirl couldn't do anything but nod. He shoved his dick inside of her, pumping streams of hot, sticky cum into her womb. The two of them collapsed on top of one another, a tangle of legs and sweaty pony bodies as exhaustion caught up to them.
"That was..."
"Awesome!" Celestia finished. "We have to do that again!"
"Yeah...just not right now."
Celestia smiled and kissed him. "That's fine, I'm a bit beat too." She smirked. "Oh, and Starswirl?"
"Yes, Sunbutt?"
"I have AIDS."
And that, boys and girls, is how pony AIDS happened. To this day, ponies spit on the name Prince Starlord VII, the first alicorn to carry immortal diseases onto ponykind and the prince of STDs everywhere. It's said that even the resemblance of his black and red coloration is frowned upon in pony society, and the inability for ponies of such a combination to get laid eventually led to the culling of those genes from the equine genome.
The End
