Anon and Derpy's Adventure

by Dr Seabear

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Adventure, Derpy Hooves, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Twilight Sparkle, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Romance, Sex
Length: 932

Anon must find the cookies to save Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs is in danger. Twilight is dead. There is only one who can save them now.
His name is Anon.

This is a collaboration with Toxiconym.

Rated T for sex references.

Published 2015-09-08 19:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-08 19:10:02 UTC

Capitulo Uno

Author's Note

I hope you enjoyed!

Capitulo Uno

Twilight was very sad. Why, you may ask? Because her jar of powerful potato beer glacier flavored cookies were stolen. And now, it's up to anon and Derpy to get the cookies back, apprehend the villain, get the crown, and save the town and Mr Krabs!

Twilight smirked. "We've gotta get Mr Krabs back!" She blurted out. She smiled creepily while rubbing her chin. "Yes, what a sexy, sexy Krusty krab... "

She shook her head. "No time for lust, we need Anon's help!"

She jumped out the window and died. With her final breath, she whispered in Anon's ear.

"You've gotta get gey Mr Krabs back,"

Anon was on the case. He went back to the soy power starting station. Anon tethered himself to the lime pole and urged to try to tell derpy about his affection for her.

"Derpy!" Anon yelled. "We've got a case!"

"What is it?" Asked Derpy.

"You've gotta dance on this pole for me!"

"There's no time!"

"Trust me!" Anon looked deep into Derpy's eyes and pouted.

Derpy looked at the pole. Well, as well as she could with her eye condition. She fluttered her wings and walked up to the pole.

"If you say so..."

Derpy grabbed the pole, and as she swung around it the pole fell. Anon's tether was broken, and he was set free.

"Look! The lime pole was hiding a treasure map!" Anon rushed over to it, grabbed the paper, and immediately blushed. The backside of the map had a seducing picture of Derpy with stockings.

Derpy was almost astonished by this sudden turn of events. "Anon!" cried Derpy, "No one was meant to see that!" Anon shook it off like he wasn't aroused by that at all, even though he really was, sick Chuck guck duck fuck. Derpy sat down, and began to watch Shrek on Netflix.

"Wow! Shrek really is Drek!" Derpy yelled. "Come on derpy!" Anon said "We have to go get the powerful potato beer glacier cookies back!"

They continued on their journey. The map had, instead of an X, an XXX, so they travelled the line until they came to the Chocolate Pegasus Gentleman's Club.

Derpy immediately squeeled and hid behind a corner, blushing something fierce.

"What's wrong, Derpy?" Anon asked, hiding a small smile. Suddenly, one of the Pegasus entertainers walked out.

"Derpy! It's so good to see you, we never did finish that lesbian cookie video!"

"Oh yes!" Derpy exclaimed, and began to strip out of her police uniform and began to put on her red and black stockings. Anon just stood there, watching, as his nose began to bleed. Derpy walked into the club, with Berry Punch following close behind.
Derpy was out, it was all up to anon.

Anon put his hoof to his chin. "I could either disguise myself and go in to watch Derpy, or I can fulfill Twilight's final wish,"

He stood there for a few minutes, watching ponies come and go. "What would Gaben do?"

"Summer sale," a voice whispered. Anon whirled around.

"Who's there?"

Nopony was there. The street was full of normal ponies going about their business. A few crickets chirped in the distance. Anon shrugged. "Summer sale huh? I better call Saul." He took his phone out and dialed the number. He accidentally called Bad Dragon.

"Hello! We're sorry to say your shipment hasn't arrived ye-" Anon cut her off and dialed the correct number.

Anon called Saul. "Hey anon." Said Saul.

"Saul help! I don't know if I should l should watch Derpy be a lesbian or go and get the potato beer glacier cookies that are powerful," questioned Anon.

"What is sexier?" Asked Saul, he then fell out of a window and died. Anon went into the strip club in his street clothes.

He went up to the bar.

"What can I get ya?" The female, gray bartender asked. She was a very sexy Pegasus.

"Information," Anon used the force on the bartender. "Where is Derpy dancing? She has critical information I require,"

"Down the hall, second door on the right," She stated statically. "Would you like fries with that?"

Anon thanked her and walked to where Derpy was dancing.

"Customers only," The bouncer at the door said. He was a very finely toned earth pony, his muscles bulging out of his camo shirt. His hair was blonde, and somewhat matched Guile's hair.

Anon frowned. "It's time for a street fight,"

Due to the non-graphic nature of this story, let's just say that Guile-Pone raped Anon.

"Thanks for your payment" snickered Guile.

He then let Anon in the room. Anon sat down, and let nature take its course. By that we mean, he cummed about 40 gallons.

Derpy didn't even notice Anon was there, but by then he had found the seven powerful potato beer glacier cookies.

He laid them on the floor and put his hooves to the sky while Derpy shoved her butt near his face. "Mr. Krabsron! I summon you!"

The cookies lit up and Mr. Krabsron appeared. "You have two wishes," He stated in a deep, resonating tone. His nose quickly bled when he saw Derpy.

"I wish for Mr. Krabs! Wish him and Twilight back to life!"

"It shall be done,"

Then suddenly, Twilght burst out of her coffin in the middle of her funeral. She scared everypony off. Mr. Krabs also appeared, squished plankton, and got the crown. He was able to save Hindu from the wrath of King Neptune.

And then they all had sex.