To Look in a Mirror

by Materious17

Rating: teen
Tags: Fluttershy, Adventure, Tragedy, Sad, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 8560

Boulder travels to Ponyville from Manehatten for a geological examination of Ghastly Gorge.

Boulder travels to Ponyville from Manehatten for a geological examination of the nearby feature, Ghastly Gorge. However disaster strikes the crew due to unexplainable geological processes. Boulder does what he can as a timid leader to save his fellow workers and his new friend as well as his guide from Ponyville, Fluttershy.

Image credit goes to Quanno3: http://quanno3.deviantart.com/art/Ghastly-Gorge-270358416

Published 2012-05-29 06:14:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-29 19:41:37 UTC

Chapter 1

"Boulder! Pack your things, you got an expedition to lead."

I didn't pay attention very well, but I understood the importance of this next spiel. A fairly older, dull grey colored unicorn sat in his scattered belongings of an office. I could hear his large office chair let out a cry for oil at his ever so slow rocking. He was a quick talker for his age, and never afraid of raising his voice, it was almost a necessity being a professor after all, especially since he was my professor.

"Boulder! Did I stutter? You leave bright and early tomorrow, I have your team all picked out and ready to move."

I looked in the mirror at myself while he spoke. One quick look at my bed head of a mane cut should have sent up a warning sign to this old man that I probably wasn't suited for the job. I'm not even sure what the job is actually, though I'd probably care about it.

"Sir, with all due respect, why am I the leader?" I replied.

My face stared back at me from the mirror, almost like a perpetual sadness stained my eyes. No, I'm not a depressed pony, just a pretty tired one. I like to think of happy things often, like how coincidently my hair coat and mane are my two favorite colors, a dark forest green and a deep brown respectively. I also play way too many games for my life to be worth being sad about. Besides, I love the bachelor life as well.

"Have you even been listening to me? You are the best student I got, and I'm far too old for an adventure like this. Damn it, despite being an earth pony you are way more studious then your fellow geologists."

I never said my professor wasn't a racist pony; and while I do appreciate the compliment, or insult, none of that mattered to me. I never was a leader, hell I don't even speak like one, let alone command the same respect as one deserves. My nerves started to get the best of me as I was finally comprehending the task at hand. My hind leg started to quiver as I frantically looked back to the only pony who believes in me, Professor Mickey Rocks.

"Boulder..." his voice was solemn now. "Please just get your things ready, I need you to believe in yourself for once. Trust me, I've been doing geologic surveys my entire career, they are not that bad. Your team knows what they as individuals need to do, I just need you to watch over and bring their talents together as one. You know, take my place in this mess of an institution."

"Alrighty, no prob..."

I can't believe I let those words leave my lips. Suddenly the sensation of my once simple life as a loner student flashed before my eyes. I felt like crying, which is how I handle most of these types of stresses anyways, but I needed to look strong and confident. I'm not sure how I looked to Mickey at that moment, didn't bother retreating to my face in the mirror to find out. All I know is Mickey sighed and smiled, showed me out of his office and whispered "Good luck, son." I always thought of him as a father of sorts, I mean he never clothed me or changed my diapers as a baby colt, but he did mold my mind into this geological machine. This was the first time he expressed openly to me that I was more than just another student, but man he didn't have to go all cheesy about it.

I should call my folks while I'm thinking about them. I know for sure my mother would love to hear from me since I moved out what feels like eons but in reality was just a few years ago. Hmm, I wonder if I can predict the first thing she asks me. As I entered my room, I pulled my cell phone from my satchel and dialed "Mom" in my speed dial. I threw myself on my tiny twin mattress, I got the answering machine message of my old place, a quiet house in Baltimare, and left a quick spiel about my next expedition without getting too science-y. My room was a mess, but that's what happens when your entire living quarters consists of just one room. In actuality, I knew about this trip for weeks now, and have already pre-packed my gear. This leadership position is what threw me for a loop, and whether I feel like I'm up for the task isn't important anymore. I have to do what is necessary for the safety of my crew and myself now.

Across from my bed is a giant mirror; like the kind a magician would use or a public speaker to help them see how ridiculous they can look. I always loved my mirror, it keeps me sane knowing that despite the many lies I even tell to myself, the mirror always gives me the truth that is permanently scarred in my face.

"Wow this is too much to think about. Let's go to bed, me." I quietly speak to myself as I drift off to sleep. Come the morning, I head off to the most mysterious of formations, the Ghastly Gorge.

Chapter 2

"Ponyville seems like a nice enough place." I say to myself while departing the train station with my crew, a rowdy group of faceless nobodies I have to sole privilege of babysitting for the next few weeks. The idea of it sunk in my gut as I asked a local mail carrier the way to the library. The light grey colored mare with a pretty, soft yellow mane gave me the strangest look, then pointed her hoof towards the town's center. I've heard old strange rumors about the folk that live here but I wasn't sure what to expect, I just needed to get my crew situated and introduce them to the local geology with a short lecture. What a more perfect place to do that than the library.

Standing before me was a giant tree with a door. Like I said, I wasn’t sure what to expect but if the sign here instead of 'Library' said 'Great Deku Tree', I’d be none the wiser. A quick knock on the door introduced me to a tiny purple… dragon?

“Oh, well uh… Hello?”

“Hi there, my name’s Spike.” His voice was appropriate for his size at least; sounds just like a growing young colt. “You must be Boulder, we got your call in a few weeks ago asking for this reservation. Come on in; make yourselves comfortable, I’ll go get Twilight.”

Before I could even put my hoof through the door the tiny scaled creature scurried up the stairs. Well so far this day is going well, I wasn’t aware that I had a reservation placed here, but I’m not aware of a lot of things these days, might have just misplaced that memory. As I sat down a light purple colored unicorn trotted down the steps with that baby dragon on her back. Her mane was a much darker purple with some pink highlights that matched the color scheme of that wondrous star on her flank.

“So you must be Boulder, I’m Twilight Sparkle. I am the head of this library as well as my current home for my time in Ponyville. I’ve been reading up on your work in my spare time actually and am quite impressed. I wish I could do more to help than just lend you the main floor as a lecture hall, but I’ve been locked up in my room for some crazy studying…”

The more this mare spoke, the more my respect grew. I’ve always had a soft spot for intelligence, except when it gets a little snooty.

“…and I swear I never felt that at ease with myself you know?” Oh Celestia had she been talking this whole time? Think Boulder… she just asked you a question that followed a pretty long backstory.

“Oh yeah, I totally understand.” Hah! Always works. This might come back to bite me in the flank later but it isn’t my fault my thoughts tend to be more interesting.

“Ah, I knew you would understand. Oh gosh sorry! I almost completely forgot; I’ll have my assistant Spike set up the projector you requested, it will be ready in a second.”

As she shouted at Spike and displayed a mini panic attack as her perfectly scheduled day slowly began to unravel, I looked around for the nearest seat to gather my own composure. Unfortunately while I was evidently paying no attention to Twilight’s life story, my crew, the faceless nobodies of the university’s geology department, already began chatting amongst themselves. Taking every available bench, they left me to plop myself on the hardwood floor.

The front door crept open as Twilight finished setting up the projector. A pegasus with a pale, light gold hair coat with a long, soft pink mane.

“Um, Twilight? Are you… oh I’m sorry, I hope I’m not interrupting.” Her voice was as soft as her initial composure, but it quickly turned to guilt and fear when every eye of my crew stared blankly in her direction.

“Oh it’s alright Fluttershy, come on in. This is Boulder, he’s not from here and he’s on his way to the Ghastly Gorge with his class.” My class? I felt flattered being mistaken for a professor so I let it stay, I never liked interrupting, especially when all it was, was a simple correction. Oh just look at her, she is the new center of attention and she is hating every minute of it.

“Men! All eyes on me; we don’t have much time to spend ogling every pretty mare that walks through that door. Now like Twilight was saying we are heading out to the Ghastly Gorge in a short while, the trip is expected to take us all day and we will set up camp just before the sun sets.”

Wow, now all of this attention is driving me a little insane. I look over to the cute pegasus as her fear turns into empathy for me. I give a quick smile and continue winging the speech I was supposed to write earlier.

“Now since none of you have even seen the light of day outside of the University of Manehatten, I doubt any of you actually knows the way to the Ghastly Gorge so I’m hiring a guide. Fluttershy was your name right? I remember your voice; we spoke on the phone once while I was doing some research on Ponyville’s inhabitants. You mentioned that you had been there recently so I called you here to ask if you would like to guide my crew?”

Way to go me, I put her on the spot this time, would have probably helped if I thought about what I was saying before I said it.

“I… uhh…*squee*” the timid pegasus let out a short cry and was lost, drowning in the unnecessary attention I just sent her way.

“Wonderful to hear, I will meet with you at your cottage to discuss the details of the trip later.”

Ok, so I may have just forced her into it but at least she can breathe again knowing the audience’s optical attention seeking missiles were locked back to me.

“Well this has been quite the day, I want everyone to gather up last minute supplies in town and meet back here on the hour ready to go. Dismissed!”

All of this feels so strange to me, I probably look like the biggest jerk and a complete fool right now. I should go apologize to Fluttershy before she honestly starts believing that I did talk to her on the phone and she is somehow our crew’s guide to the Gorge.

Chapter 3

I asked Twilight for directions to her cottage and apologize for letting it get a little crazy. The fact that she witnessed my speech and my sudden lie of including her timid friend didn’t put me on her good side. She got me started in the right direction at least so at least she is reasonable.

“Hey Fluttershy! Are you in there?” I knocked on the cottage door to get a greeting from a bunny this time. Whatever happened to ponies themselves answering a door is that too much to ask?

“Um, hey little guy, I need to talk to Fluttershy. I want to apologize for my strange attitude earlier.” The white bunny gave me a scowl so intense I think my heart skipped a beat. I looked up and saw the beautiful yellow pegasus with a few tears running down her cheek but a smile of forgiveness shone through.

“Oh, hi there, didn’t notice you. Um anyways, I am not expecting you to actually be my guide to the Ghastly Gorge, plus I bet you are confused as to why I would lie about talking to you on the phone earlier. I’m not one for being the center of attention either, so I tend to just speak my thoughts out loud, even if they don’t make a lot of sense. So I had to come up with something to diffuse the pressure put on me by my peers and I used you to do that.”

Her tears faded as my explanation of my attitude grew more into one-sided conversation about myself.

“I’ll do it.” She softly interjected into my never ending nervous wreck of an apology.

“Wait what?” I clearly heard what she said, I’m more hoping for a why she would even want to do something this crazy.

“I’ll be the guide to your trip.” Her words were even softer than the warm summer breeze blowing through my short mane cut from just outside her cottage.

“You know you don’t have to do this right? I was simply trying to make a joke during my presentation. I already know the way myself in fact.” Well there goes the stupidest thing I’ve let leave my lips all day. I haven’t the slightest clue where it is, I just know it’s around Ponyville.

“Oh, I’m sorry… my friend Rainbow Dash is always telling me to be more assertive so here goes nothing, I don’t care; I want to go on the trip with you guys. Sorry…”

Almost felt like we both looked away at the same time to try to think of what to say next. The silence was unbearably long; generally in situations like this I would chime in with a non sequitur, but that would make me look like a jerk again.

“Alright, you’re hired. Let’s meet up with my crew back at the library.” Her shocked smile jumped from her face onto mine as if it was contagious. She has no idea what she is getting herself into, and to be honest, neither do I.

Damn it I'm tired. You would think that as a geologist I should have at least exercised regularly to do hikes like this but I am way to unmotivated to make myself fit. Feels like we've been hiking for days even though only a few hours ago this pink and yellow pegasus was just convincing me to bring her along. We need to pick up the pace though, it will be a nightmare having to set up camp after dusk. Oh Celestia I'm hungry now too.

"Hey, Fluttershy?" Those words were an attempt to grasp for air as my exhaustion starting getting the best of me. "Do you just love nature a lot or do you like to take pity on earth ponies?" I'm such a jerk, and man I hope she is a nature nut. Maybe she has a sense of humor, I'm sure it doesn't look like I do.

"Oh, well, umm I've always loved taking care of Equestria's little creatures. I tend to stay out of places like the Everfree forest though, it's far too scary for pony like me." It amused me that she would think of herself as a scardy pony, yet I think she's the only one on this trip not terrified of the strange things that exist in Ghastly Gorge. Just thinking about the known harsh places like the windy cavern, the large fields of bramble bushes, and worst of all, the Quarray Eels that inhabit the steep cliffs, makes me really reconsider this expedition.

"That's neat." There you go Boulder, be the minimalist you always have been. It's still several hours from the camp site and I have a duty to keep this conversation going.

"So you take care of animals in your cottage? That would explain that 'super friendly' bunny I was greeted with earlier." I still remember that little guy's face, I might have been more scared of it than this trip but I'd never admit it.

"Oh yes, my cottage is full of all sorts of animals that I care for." She paused for a moment and looked back to me. I was probably too deep in my own thoughts about that evil bunny to consider what my facial expression looked like, but whatever it was Fluttershy giggled at it.

"Oh but Angel Bunny is always with me, he doesn't get along too well with strangers though."

That was an understatement, but at least I know if I stay friends with this graceful mare I will have to deal with that Devil Bunny.

"Oh um, Twilight told me something about you being a geolog... geograph... geo-sorry. Well we don't have a university in Ponyville so I'm not entirely sure what it is you do... that is, if you don't mind me asking."

Could she be more apologetic, if it wasn't for her looks she would have driven me crazy hours ago.

"Well yes, I'm a geologist, you can think of me and my crew as people who love getting our hooves dirty in rocks. I'm actually a structural geologist, like that means anything to you right now. Anyways my specialty is large rock features mainly, such as the Ghastly Gorge. I plan on writing a paper to be published in the GeoPony Journal of Science about this place. In fact, doing so will be a huge boost to my status at the university as well as the department will receive more funding, which is always important, were kind of in dire need of it truth be told, not a whole lot of geologic activity happens in Equestria so our department is small. This 'Ghastly Gorge' is the break we have been looking for."

Well there we go, I knew the moment we asked about my work I could just blab forever. Only thing I love more than my university studies is the fact that my own cutie mark is a...

"Woah where did the time go? The sun is already setting. Fluttershy, are we close to the site yet?"

"Oh yes, it's just around this bend." She looked more down than usual the moment she said that. Wonder what she could be sad about now. I should probably ask, I am always sympathetic with my closest friends anyways, so I can theoretically get close to a stranger. Damn it Boulder just ask the question and stop worrying.

"You want to camp out with us? I had a lackey bring an extra tent just in case a bear or something decided to eat one of us and run off with it." I so hope she laughs at that sarcasm, otherwise this would just get awkward. The thought of a bear doing that is too real to just joke it off though.

"Oh you wouldn't mind? I don't want to get in the way of your work. It's just your love for rocks reminds me of my love for small creatures, so I'm far too curious to be scared right now. " Wow, alright Boulder if you play your cards right you can retire and live just like her, taking care of pet rocks in your little cottage. Wait that all sounds super crazy, but then it hit me, we are actually very alike, and I'm way too much of a jerk for me to let her know how I feel. Doesn't look like she minded the possibility of a bear visit though.

"Well, I do actually mind a little, but other's safety is higher priority than my own for the next three weeks so if you stay I will have no choice but to put those pretty wings of yours to work, you are the only pegasus here after all." It isn't like I mind that she is going to be another body I have to feed and look after, I mind because I don't want to actually force her to work with any of us, but I have no choice.

"Oh, well umm, yes sir!" Damn she is too cute.

Chapter 4

Day 2, Completed our hike down to the bottom of the gorge, I'd imagine for a flyer our long, bending trail we took seemed unnecessary. The sides of the gorge appear to be a fine grained extrusive granite. Hand samples would suggest mostly a plagioclase matrix with numerous biotite clasts for that signature grey color. It's volcanic origins could be tied to the formation of Equestria but we still don't have evidence of the volcano, or any volcanism today for that matter for comparison. Can't get an absolute date on these rocks due to the nature of volcanism and lack of fossil evidence.
Having a flyer has been indispensable, plus she looks really cute using a rock hammer. The fact that this gorge is already almost a mile deep and the rocks show no clear sign of layering suggests this was one hell of a volcanic event that piled over 4000 feet thick lava flows. Was this just a singular event during the formation of Equestria or could it be a repeat offense? Not enough evidence to begin speculation like that but the thought still haunts my mind.
The dry heat of summer is relentless as I've already lost one crew member to dehydration, had another one take him back up to the camp site to rest and drink. The canyon trends W-E so the hot sun is constantly visible, no ounce of shade except for the few large boulders that have broken from the cliff side. The river, which will now be known as the Ghastly Bottom River, that flows here provides the only sustenance for the local wildlife. Working on a current hypothesis of the gorge's formation, tomorrow we will examine the erosional capacity of the river as well as the susceptibility of the rocks to give us an idea of how long it may have taken if it was truly carved out in this fashion.

"What are you doing Boulder?" the innocent voice rang in my ears. If it wasn't for my position as the expedition leader I probably wouldn't even look at my fellow crew members in the eyes, but on the other hand this beautiful maiden wouldn't even be here let alone look to me for answers.

"I keep a journal log for each day, I write down absolutely everything that occurs and even have a separate notebook for numerical data points, as well as geologic maps I'm constructing for the area. I need to stay organized so that other geologists can read my entries and potentially criticize my methods, or affirm my results. It's all part of the scientific process."

I didn't want to depress her but another very real reason for the logs was in case of an accident that killed me, someone could continue my work from where I left off at. It's a scary reality but science sees no reason to stop and mourn for losses.

"Oh, that's a good idea. I know it seems personal, but you said you are going to publish your notes right? I don't know a lot about what the rocks tell you but I hope that I'm helping with the high up chores you sent me on today. But I'd be happy if you wanted to talk to me about them. You've looked troubled since you started writing tonight." Should have known she would be as empathetic as she was timid, I mean we are practically the same pony. My intelligence has made me bitter while her ever growing kindness kept me on track.

"There are a lot of volcanic rocks in this gorge, but nothing to suggest a volcano anywhere within hundreds of miles. On the other hand this gorge is 4000 feet deep and the same volcanic rocks from head to toe, which would suggest a massive singular event of volcanism that either created Equestria, or buried the previous layer so deep we can't observe it. My concern is whether it could potentially happen again."

Eh, who needs to depress a soft gentle pegasus when you can just depress yourself with never ending worry.

"So like, another eruption in the future? How large are we talking about? What's going to happen to Ponyville?" Her voice was getting panicked and frantic as my prophecy spooked her as well as myself.

"Don't worry so much, I haven't discovered any concrete evidence of something like that occurring, or when it could occur. For all we know there was a catastrophic eruption what seems like a very long time ago in the past we no indications of it repeating itself."

I can't have her in a panicked state like that, makes her look less cute. If I can just concentrate all of the worry my team has onto myself they can do their jobs while I crumble into a mess of doubt and hesitation. Everybody wins.

"Hey Fluttershy, do you drink? Wondering if you wanted to pop open a cold one with me and watch the starry night sky." Great benefit of being a geologist is the amount of booze I can pack for the trip, especially when the nights get cool and quiet like this one.

"Oh no, I mean only sometimes, well when I'm with my friends we've had cider parties but I always let my friend Rainbow Dash finish my drinks." Of course she doesn't drink Boulder, she's much to soft and innocent for one of my beers.

"Suit yourself, I always just like stargazing, helps clear my head of worries and gives me my sense of curiosity back. Maybe another time then. G'nite Fluttershy." I had no intention of going to sleep so soon, but she just rejected my pseudo-date invitation so I needed a reason to dismiss her back to her tent. I should focus on my work anyways and not my crazy fantasies of happiness.

Chapter 5

Day 8, With the river being tiny and stagnant, the amount of time for it to reasonably carve this gorge is far longer than the current accepted age of the world as we know it. The sluggishness also makes it as a source of drinking water sketchy, as it is full of insects. More of my crew were forced back to base camp, a current two day hike away due to illness from poor filtration of the river's water combined with the ever present heat. Fluttershy is a lot stronger than it would seem, the heat hasn't gotten the best of her yet.

With the Ghastly Bottom River Hypothesis out of the question, I've moved to looking for kinematic indicators. It seems very likely that with the rivers flow dictating the general shape of the gorge, that perhaps there was at least one tectonic event that weakened the granites. If there was any evidence of strike-slip or dip-slip motion along the gorge it would be present from an aerial perspective. Over the next few days Fluttershy's wings are going to get the work out of their life with her having to be my eyes from the sky.

After a core drilling of the sediments in the river, I was baffled to see that the granites go down farther than the 4000 feet we can observe above ground. The core drill could only go down a couple hundred feet but it tells the same story as the granites above ground. This lava flow must have been up to a mile deep in this area and I can't imagine how far it expands laterally. The gorge's creation isn't the only thing shrouded in mystery right now, the more data I collect the less sense this whole thing makes.

"Ready for tomorrow Fluttershy? Need you to rest up tonight, can't have my number one worker not up to a long day of flying, alright?" She was a trooper this last week and her free spirit always brightened my mood.

"Yes sir! *squee*" A tiny squeek left her lips as she smiled. I'm not sure how she could be so happy out here, but it's contagious. Truth be told I am incredibly happy as well, just got a lot on my mind. I am in my element after all, what's the point of having a cutie mark shaped like a...

"Boulder! We have a problem!" I turned to the faceless lackey shouting from the distance to then feel the ground tremble and then hear a massive explosion off in the distance. Silence returned almost as suddenly as the disaster. The camp site was in a hysteric panic.

"Boulder! Several members from the east site are missing."

"What do you mean missing?!" The safety of my crew was always the upmost importance to me, if I was forced into this leadership position, the least I could do was try to be a great leader.

"The crash sounded like it came from the east end of the gorge. It was probably a rock fall but the shaking means that was one hell of a rock." The situation at camp was getting out of hand and the darkness wasn't being friendly. Working under pressure however was the one reason why I succeed in my studies, as tests feel no different from a basic assignment and never having to study beforehand attested to that fact.

"Everyone remain calm!" It amused me that I shouted that but this was too important to lose myself in irony.

"West group leader, gather your members, and bring extra water and first-aid supplies. I don't want to see a pony without a head lamp! Fluttershy, lead West group towards the rock fall zone, I want immediate search and rescue procedures. Were missing 4 members and damn it no one is going to die on me tonight! Rock falls don't just happen without a reason, I'm going to study the seismographic data we've been collecting to see if there may be chances of a repeat offense. Wait, you there!"

I wanted to do more than just sit at a machine and hope, I needed to get in there and rescue my men myself.

"West group leader, you watch the seismograph, report to me your findings over the comm. channel, I'll head out with the search party. Everyone move out!"

The large pile of rubble was a good indication of an avalanche, though discerning the rocks apart from potential signs of my crew in the dark was neigh impossible. The shouting for the hope of hearing a response became rhythmic in my mind, almost like a chorus of death. It wasn't as easy as just digging out the pile of rocks to uncover a potential victim, shifting all of that weight can do just as much damage to anyone trapped underneath as the initial collapse. All we can do now is hope that they weren't stupid enough to have even caused this thing, let alone die to their own mistakes.

"Fluttershy, I need an eye on that wall, shine a headlamp along it looking for any planes of failure, here's a walky-talky. I need to know anything out of the ordinary that you see, descriptions and everything." It was a lot harder than it had to be since I could tell she wasn't sure what she was looking for, but I know she would never let me down.

I continued my rhythmic tapping on the rubble with my hammer and shouting for confirmation of life. The tapping of the hammer would be louder to the ponies inside than any of our voices. With all of the commotion, it was mostly luck that we actually found the missing crew. While the survivors got hauled off with first-aid getting most use its seen for the entire trip, Fluttershy being usually diligent, the comm channel blasted with news from the nearest camp site.

"Boulder! You got to get out of there, the seismograph is picking up frequent surges of activity, with one being consistent with the time of the avalanche! This area is incredibly dangerous and we should evac' ASAP." Just as the message finished the ground started to tremble again, this time much more violently. I needed to be a leader at this very moment.

"Everyone evac' immediately! Get away from the gorge walls! We head back to camp now!" My words seemed to fall on deaf ears as everyone scrambled to get their composure from all of the shaking and panic.

"Fluttershy! Where are you?!" Just great, she was out of earshot. Wait a minute, I gave her a walky-talky!

"Fluttershy, you need to fly out of the gorge as fast as you can, fly back to base camp and relay the earthquake to the camp leader, he'll know what to do next." But nothing responded. The radio was quiet and the ground shook more erratically knocking mostly everyone off their hooves.

"Fluttershy are you there?"

The walls of the gorge were beginning to chip away, large boulders sized clasts crashed on the ground filling the air with dust and the sounds of explosions. I'm unable to move very far without falling on my face from the irregular tremors. Regardless I stayed behind to get everyone evacuated to the best of my ability. The safety of my crew was more important to me than my own life. I could only hope that Fluttershy fled for help, but I stayed behind to find her as well. As the boulders fell around the cavern walls, I ran for the river bed in the center. Before I could turn to double check everyone's successful evac, I was struck in the back by a runaway boulder and knocked unconscious, sending me into the river.

Chapter 6

It wasn't long before the water filling my lungs choked me awake. I did all I could to keep my head above the sudden rapidness of the rivers flow; unable to muster the strength to get on the meander point bars. Felt like my hind legs were broken which was probably the case. I don't remember what hit me or how I got in the river but none of that mattered. If I stayed in this river, I was going to die.

The rapids were getting more violent, making my ever struggle to breathe that much harder. The rivers increase in speed also picked up some large rocks that flowed underneath me, beating on my broken body as the pain kept my exhaustion at bay. I could only hope my crew are all well and searching for me. I couldn't be far from when I got knocked in the river, I had a feeling the initial collapse site was right behind me.

Just in front of me I saw a dark blur of a figure, looks like a pony that's lying on the point bar of the upcoming meander but it was much too dark to be for sure. With all of my strength I threw myself out of the rapids onto the shallow beach to get a closer look at what was now a clearly unconscious pony. I slowly crawled myself up the bar line to see if I could wake him up. My hoof reached out and touched a dark feathery... wing.

"Damn it... Flutte... shy. Hold on, were going to get out of this." Coughing up more and more water as I spoke, it was probably a mix of blood as well but I couldn't notice. Ignoring the pain my non-working hind legs caused, I turned Fluttershy onto her back and checked her breathing.

"Stable... thank Celestia." Her wing has an irregular curve to it, it was probably broken during the collapse. I noticed the walky-talky still in her hoof, poor soul probably tried to escape right when I told her but I was too late.

"Damn it all! I failed as a leader; now this poor angel is going to die out here. I didn't react fast enough!" The anger blocked my headache's constant throbbing in the back of my head.

"I'm not leaving you Fluttershy, I don't expect that I'll make it out but in the name of Celestia, I promise you will be ok. Whether you can hear me or not I made a promise to keep all of my crew safe, and right now, that means protecting you with what little I have left." I look up to see her cute little nose twitch and her eyes slowly open, with a tiny smile on her face, I lost consciousness again.

I wake up to see the same thing I passed out remembering. Fluttershy's gentle smile as she hoisted me onto her back. She was a remarkably strong pony especially for being as hurt as I was. Slowly but surely we started to move as the sun just peered over the horizon. I must have been out for a few hours lying with her on that beach. The sand covering my body was as grey as the granite cliffs the river flowed between. I couldn't speak though I'm not entirely sure what I would say. Thank you comes to mind, however, all I want to do right now is sleep.

I fell off of Fluttershy a few times, each one came with a thud and a grunt of pain. I could tell Fluttershy was about to pass out from exhaustion. So I grunted to tell her to just let me lie down here for awhile. She needs more rest than me anyways. Not so sure she got the hint as she tried once more to hoist me on her back.

"I'm so sorry Boulder but I can't just leave you here." she spoke softly into my ears. I noticed my hind legs were wrapped with a splint so my earlier suspicions were correct.

"... wait." My mind was racing so face I wasn't sure what I'd say next, I hope she just passes it off as my delirium.

"Thank you, for looking after me, when I was too busy looking out for everypony else." Hey, that actually made sense. Guess I'm not as delirious as I thought.

"I lov..." I knew the moment that word slipped out that I had to do something to feign craziness, so I pretended to pass out.

"Stay with me Boulder, keep talking, I need you awake right now." I listened to every word and on cue I reopened my eyes.

"Sorry, I must have gotten a little delusional there." I tried to laugh it off but I knew that she heard everything I said a few hours before when I found her, based on her next choice of words.

"This angel isn't going to let you die today." She pulled me back on her back and continued forward.

"I know how the gorge formed, but I haven't been able to write it down yet. I want to tell you its story just in case I don't get a chance later." She probably didn't like how little hope I had let in my life. She needed me to believe in herself just as she believes in me but I have no room for that in my mind. I've never had room for hope, or even plain optimism, my persona over the years formed a bitter mistrust of ponykind along with a general assumption of 'everypony for himself'. I faked being a good leader to the very end at least.

"Boulder, I'm not going to lose you, but I do need you to keep talking." The softness in her voice faded as my own doubt started getting the best of her. "What's the story behind your cutie mark?"

She's seen my cutie mark? Wait, where are my pants? She stripped me to wrap me in bandages and I didn't even notice. "My cutie mark? The one that's on my flank right?" I tried to stall for time. I always felt like my cutie mark was my own, the one thing that has kept me sane over the years. The one true burden I carry.

"Alright, I guess at least one pony should know about it."

Chapter 8

Day 9, Base camp had received word from our search and rescue leader about the disaster and immediately addressed Ponyville's mayor for help. Fluttershy was sure glad to see all of her friends again including that blue pegasus with the rainbow colored mane she always talked about. They probably have a long history together.

When the day comes that I get discharged, I'll be forced in a wheelchair temporarily. The doctor told me to stay off my legs for a couple weeks with regular checkups to see how the healing is progressing. Enough about me though...

The Ghastly Gorge was formed from a combination of fluvial erosion and tectonic instability. The river is normally far too sluggish for the erosion to take place in a reasonable amount of time. However the periodic tremors increase the speed to critical flow. With the erosional strength to carry boulder sized clasts, it easily could have carved this canyon through the granite in a reasonable amount of time relative to the known age of Equestria. The cause of the tremors is still unknown but would require a geophysical survey of the area, which is out of our universities budget. Hopefully the paper I publish will bring in the necessary funding for a second expedition, hopefully this time we can afford a helicopter.

My hospital room was comfortable but a little dull, well at least on my side. On the other side, split with a divider wall, was Fluttershy, who received frequent visits from all of her friends and even her animals she care takes for came by with a basket of nuts and berries. I was fine not getting any company, I never minded being a loner, gave me a lot of time to contemplate my actions and think for the future.

I noticed the divider curtain open up and I saw Fluttershy for the first time since the accident. Her color was still all there but her mane was messy and there were a few bruises on her face. I wanted to feel terrible for dragging her into this mess with me but I have to remember that she insisted, not me. Still I'm allowed to feel guilt, I do about everything anyways.

"Hey Boulder, I know you haven't gotten many visitors lately, so I thought I'd ask Twilight to bring me extra flowers, cause I was wandering if you wanted them to remind you that there are ponies that do care for you, because I know that you like to think you are alone..." I felt like I needed to stop her for being so blunt, but then again maybe I should take my own advice someday.

"Well, uh... thank you for the flowers, but I'm used to it. It's a lot easier for me to just accept my life than try to change it, but I guess that's really condescending." Man if I didn't sound like an ass when I first met her I definitely did just now. Alright Boulder, put your pride aside just ask her already.

"Fluttershy? Can... you help me change?"

She gave me the strangest look, reminded me of the look that mail delivering mare gave me my first day back in Ponyville but less humorous.

"What do you mean?" Her voice still soothed my mind despite her not being able to see the obvious.

"I need your help to change my attitude, all my life I've had no hope in ponykind. No one in the world lent me a hand to get to where I am today, my cousins did nothing but bully me and I had to take my mother's cell phone from them and run to Manehatten. You have shown me nothing but kindness since I met you, and maybe if I stay with you during my time in Ponyville since I'm going to be stuck to that wheel chair for awhile, I can learn to give other ponies the same kindness you have shown me these last weeks."

I know that it isn't something that I can learn, but this was easier to phrase than, 'force me to show kindness'. She should probably know a secret about me, but I don't want to dish out all of my crazy, I at least should buy her a drink first.

"I know it's a lot to ask, but I'm coming to you from the lowest my life has fallen, asking if you would lend me a hoof one last time. I could really use a friend." Lies and more lies, sometimes I get so crazy wrapped up in my stories that I even start believing them. This I think is one of those times, but I'm not sure.

And I just put way too much on her shoulders, but I'm not joking around this time. I know my life is in a rotten place, and I'm in no position to ask favors but I need to move past living in the shadow of my unfortunate circumstances. I shouldn't let my parent's death control my life, instead I can learn from it, and become a better person out of it.

"Yes..." Fluttershy always spoke with grace and humility.

Also I think this was the happiest moment of my life, whether it because of the pain medication I was on or because Fluttershy always knows how to make me smile didn't matter to me. Fluttershy giggled whenever I got lost in my thoughts. Even when I'm thinking about thinking I tend to get distracted easily.

"Yes, you can stay in my cottage while you are recovering, but I can't just rent out a room permanently... I mean, I don't want to ever have to kick you out but..."

"Fluttershy, it's ok, I understand completely. I'm not asking for anything much, I just need my hooves on the ground again. Though I wouldn't mind finding my own place once I can actually walk too, Ponyville reminds me a lot of my childhood. I can just continue my work remotely anyways, being in the field is what geology is all about after all."

I look to the flowers the nurse has finally gotten around to putting on my nightstand, and I notice a mirror just on the other side. I haven't seen myself in such a long time, it wouldn't hurt to give me another look. Huh...

"Hey Fluttershy..." I notice her in the background of my reflection.

"Hmm?" she probably has no idea why this is important to me but that's fine.

"Oh, it's nothing, just wanted to say hi." Well look at that, my perpetual sadness is gone. My mane cut could use some work, I also need a shave. This is to be the beginning of my life after all.

Chapter 7

"As a young colt I played in this gorge. I wasn't kidding when I said I didn't need a guide, even though in my mind I liked to imagine I was bluffing. My family lived just outside Ponyville at the time and this gorge was my favorite playground. I was always fascinated by it but as a colt I didn't understand a lot of what the gorge was telling me. It would rumble a bit and I was do my best to stay standing or run just on home. I made a little fort at the top of the gorge and that's where I decided to set up base camp now."

"One day however the shaking got worse than usual, and my parents were with me. A wall collapse and my parents and I were trapped under a pile of rubble. The only thing that protected me was my father's back that supported the tons of rocks from crushing me with them. I opened my eyes in the dust filled rubble to see an oddly shaped geode not two inches from my face. I was so scared at that moment I kicked the rock out as hard as I could and the daylight was bright and welcoming."

"My parents died in that rockslide and that geode I saw was the key to my survival, shortly after I crawled out, I noticed the very same geode inscribed on my flank as a cutie mark. Do you understand why I cover it up now? This cutie mark marks the moment I lost my parents to this forsaken gorge, it's brought me nothing but pain over the years. I was put into a relocation program for orphans and lived with my cousins in Baltimare. They had my parents unburied and held a funeral service there."

"One year my oldest cousin gave me my mother's old cell phone. When I got old enough I reactivated its service plan and I call it every day to leave a message, hoping that my mother somehow can listen to it. I moved to Manehatten and entered the geology program at the university so that I can fully understand why I lost my parents that day, and that I may be able to teach others the dangers of this gorge with the knowledge it can bring us."

"Wonderful story isn't it..." Fluttershy stopped walking when I mentioned the landslide and I could see she felt as sad as I always have since then. I tried to lighten the mood a little but the pain returned to my legs.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to..." Tears filled Fluttershy's eyes as she regrets her naive sentiment about my cutie mark earlier. "It wasn't my place to ask that of you, please forgive me." she continued with her unnecessary apology.

Wincing in pain as I looked at her, I snuck a small smile in to show forgiveness.

"It's alright Fluttershy, you have shown me that I don't need to be such an outcast any more. I always felt like this cutie mark only brings me pain but right now I'm smiling. I'm smiling that I have found a great friend and am even capable to share my story with someone for once."

I looked towards the distance and saw the nearby search and rescue camp we established the night before and sighed in relief.

"Hey look, we made it out alive, together."