My name is Iñaki. That one, happiest of nights, I had heard some sounds coming out of that alley, and right as I turned the corner I saw her. I couldn't believe my eyes. I had been a brony for just one year, and I had already wished for some time that ponies were real. When I saw her, my stomach flipped. There was only one thing to do:
“Are you Twilight Sparkle?”
“Y-yes?” And she glowed her horn to see my face. Then I lifted her to take her home, and she said:
“What are you doing?”
“I'm taking you to my home. This is a dangerous world. Us humans are a race of intelligence, but also of hate and blood. Now, let's go. Nobody knows what's lurking around that corner. Get ready. If I tell you so, fire a blast.”
And I took her to my home.
Twenty minutes later, we arrived to my home. It was a yellow building with exactly 120 flats. It was on the side of a square. One hell of a beautiful square. When I brought her to my flat, it was past midnight already. I was panting and sweating from carrying her for a mile, so I hasted to turn on the lights, lay her down on the living room sofa, a six-seated, real-skinned white giant equipped with a chaisse longue, where I put her down.
“I'm gonna take a shower. Wait a minute.”
I literally took just a minute to take my shower. I was that excited to be with her.
When I redressed myself, I instantly went to the sofa to sit with her.
She said:
“What is that thing on the table?”
“It's called ‘computer’. It can do any kind of complex calculations, play what we call ‘video games’ and access a worldwide network called ‘Internet’. I'm pretty sure you'll love it, but it'll be hard to use with hooves; plus, you need to rest now.
So, I put her on my lap and pet her until we were both asleep.
Next morning, I woke us up and let her off my lap.
“I'm going to make breakfast. Don't even dare helping me. I first need to teach you all about this world; you gotta make yourself at home.”
I made some milk cereal, which is both my usual breakfast and a way of showing her our cultures are very similar in some aspects.
When I came back with both bowls, she noted:
“I think I'm not gonna be able to eat all of that.”
“No problem. I can just leave it for my mom. She's coming home in a few hours.”
“Wait, you live with your mother, still?”
“Of course, I'm just 15 years old, for your information.”
“Wait, you're a teenager?”
“Yeah, and actually taller than average. I'm actually the average size for a grown man, that is, the human equivalent of a stallion; but I come from a family made mostly of tall people, you know. I haven't even hit my last growth spurt yet.”
“How tall do you think you will grow to?”
“Wait a second, I gotta get a measuring tape.”
And that's exactly what I did.
“See this line? It marks exactly one meter. So I think I will grow up to about 1.9 meters, just the tiny bit taller than my dad.”
“Now that's tall! For a pony, at least.”
“Yeah, about that, you're about as tall as the average 8 year old human, I think.”
“…OK, I guess?”
“No worries, I will teach you everything about this world. I know you're a bookworm.”
“How do you know that?”
“In this world, you're the main character of a television show. Basically, a cartoon.”
“WHAT?”
“Yes. Millions of humans know you. Many of them are fans. Most of them would love to meet you. Sadly, there's no way of knowing which ones want to have sex with you.”
“Seriously? They want to have sex with an alien?”
“Sadly, yeah. I'm gonna have to guide you through the Internet so you don't have to find porn of yourself.”
“Eugh! Are they seriously that perverted?”
“Yes. I, myself, haves actually seen way too much already. It doesn't affect me now.”
“…I think we should talk about something else. For example, my fans; am I seriously that famous?”
“Yes, and although the show is made from girls aged 4 to 7, most of the fans are actually teenagers and adults, like me.”
“That's kind of weird, right?”
“Well, think about it like this, don't you think your life became all the more interesting after Celestia sent you to Ponyville?”
“You could say that.”
“Exactly! It makes for a show that's not only filled to the brim with good writing, but also very well made in terms of audio and visuals.”
“So… about your ‘television’, how does it work?”
“I could have a hard time explaining you, or I could show you how to use the Internet so you can look up everything you want.”
“You mean, like a library?”
“Exactly! It's like all the libraries in this world, crammed into an electronic network of computers.”
“Amazing! Teach me!”
And so I taught her how to use the computer. I also taught her how to avoid the bad part, of course. It was, all in all, a really intensive course.
While we were having lunch, my mother entered the flat. I was so excited. Imagine what she'd think! Well, those were my only thoughts as we saluted each other as per usual:
“¡Hola, POOTIS! (Hello, POOTIS!)”, my mom said.
“POOTIS.”, I reciprocated, as was the norm I created so as to avoid her calling me names that made me puke rainbows.
“¡¿Cómo estás, Iñaki?! (How are you, Iñaki?!)”
“Todo bien. Pero, tengo una sorpresa. (All right. But, I have a surprise.)”
“¿Qué pasó? (What happened?)”
“Vení al salón y mirá. (Come to the living room and see for yourself.)”
“Esperá un momento, que me cambio. (Wait a second, I'm gonna change myself.)”
“Perfecto. (No problem.)”
While she was in her bedroom i whispered to Twilight:
“Cover yourself in a blanket, but peek one eye out. Then, when I nudge you, start levitating me. She'll be in for a big surprise.”
“I can't wait to see her reaction! Also, what language were you speaking in?”
And after a minute, I nudged her and she started levitating me. Then my mom entered the living room.
Author's Note
It's rioplatense Spanish. 'Nuff said.
