The world of gray continued to be the same. Yet there was no sorrow to be had, for the joys of winter had only just begun. A day had passed, and more snow was on its way, floating down in a gentle flurry. Rooftops were covered in it, and the ground fared no better, with inches upon inches covering the streets of Ponyville. It cracked noisily as hooves walked over its delicate surface. The cry of happiness could be heard resonating from every corner of Ponyville. Ponies smiled bright with glee, and little fillies and colts ran through the weak blizzard of wind hurling snowballs through the air.

But this same joy was lost to a single pony, who gazed out from her window. Rarity stared out at the town as more snow gradually came down. She wore a frown, one that was deep with the sadness that she held. Her eyes drooped, slightly tinged with the redness of tears. Her mane was a disheveled mess, unkempt and left to curl messily over her horn. She let out a quiet sigh while she continued to stare out into the gray world, the only sound she had made today besides her fitful sobbing. ‘Is… this what true heartache feels like? A pain… s-so deep that you cannot e-even heal yourself with the joys of winter?’

Even after another day had passed, two days after the failed date that Rarity had tried to set up with her friend Twilight, she could still feel the ache that continued to run through her heart, like an open wound that would not heal and was continually covered with salt. Maybe this was what her destiny in romance would lead to. She had not known this kind of sorrow anywhere else. It was a pain that she had no familiarity to, or any solution that could mend her heart’s broken center.

“I tried so hard…” Rarity murmured to herself as she wiped a tear from her eye. “I did… wh-what any normal pony would do. But it still failed… a-and I rushed it. I tried to move the pace along too quickly… and now I am paying for my naivete.” In all good sense of the word, “pay”, Rarity still could not believe how fast all her hard work had crumbled to complete disaster. And the pain from that day, the words that echoed through her mind from Twilight’s last words to her, continued to shake her to the core.

Rarity brought her gaze from the tops of the buildings in Ponyville to the snow-covered ground of the streets below. As she looked at the ponies walking by, her frown only deepened at the sights of their smiles. She envied their happiness, for she would know none now. That opportunity was lost, and with it, the dream that ran away from her. Her friendship with Twilight was in complete shambles, and now she feared that her friend would never speak a word to her. Then again, would she truly do the same? ‘I… I don’t even know if I can face her now. Not after Tuesday’s horrible date.’

An echo of laughter brought her away from those depressed thoughts, only to tear up at the sight of other ponies, ponies that were together. She could see mare and stallionfriends walking together, all snug and warm in each other’s company. Truly she should have been happy for them. They got the chance to spend time with the ones they loved, and that never should be frowned upon. But Rarity’s envy only felt worse. ‘Jealousy… a mare should never stoop to such a level of feeling.’ Yet what was the point, she thought, to push it away.

She looked back to her room, darkened and unlit ever since she had returned. In two days’ time, this room had not seen the light of the sun, nor even the artificial light from above contained in those glass bulbs. Darkness had become her companion, an invisible friend that would never leave her side, and Rarity faced no rejection from it. Yet she knew that this was just the side effect of her rejection. How could darkness truly be her friend? Sure, it made her comfortable and never hurt her in any such way, but she could not touch or hold it in a physical sense. In the end, she still felt lonely.

Rarity returned her gaze to the world outside and looked down to the ponies below. Her eyes widened slightly as she caught sight of two familiar mares, two ponies she knew well enough to understand what they did and why they were together. Tears trickled down her muzzle and a silent sniffle resonated from Rarity as she watched Bon-Bon and Lyra Heartstrings. The two mares just looked wonderful together: both mouths were moving as they spoke to one another, yet Rarity could not hear what they said.

Moments later, the two hugged each other with bright smiles and closed eyes. It was too much. Rarity looked away and quietly cried, closing the curtains and encasing herself in the dark grayish light of her room. Nothing would ever be the same for her. Rarity would never know when this emotional storm would ever end. She brought a hoof to her eyes and rubbed them, the tears trickling down her foreleg, causing her to shiver. She looked up at the sound of a ‘meow’ and turned her gaze to Opalescence.

The only companion in her room had stayed with her. Yet Opal had kept her distance from Rarity; her own sad expression foretold the reason why. “Oh… Opal… I-I’m so sorry you have to see m-me like this.” None of her friends knew she had returned to Ponyville, and Rarity was set on keeping it that way. She did not feel that she had the emotional strength to confront them, not yet. For all she knew, this pain was hers alone, something that she would have to bear for the rest of her life. And maybe that was how it would go? That she was destined to be alone forever…

~~~

“Mmmh.” Twilight ran circles around her temple while she quietly growled. The gray lighting from the outside world had brightened her room considerably, but even then, why did she feel trapped inside this zone of twilight? She brought her hooves to her side and looked out the window at the cloudy sky, a frown on her muzzle. Two days had passed. In those two days, she had not heard one message from any of her friends, including Rarity. ‘I… hope she’s okay.’

Yet how true was that? The last thing that she had said to Rarity was something horrible, a request a friend should never say to somepony else. At the time she did not feel any remorse for saying those words, but now she just felt awful about it. ‘But I had to. Rarity… well, loves me.’ Twilight could not get over the fact that one of her best friends actually had feelings for her far beyond friendship, which Twilight was used to.

“There’s just… how am I supposed to feel about that?” What Rarity had proposed was something that she was just not ready for. Twilight didn’t even know what was necessary for a relationship beyond friendship. Maybe there was some book she could read on it, but with all that preparation, could she still be brave about approaching anypony? ‘I just proved that I faltered with Rarity… but why? Why me? What’s so special about me?’

Twilight had always thought that Rarity was into stallions. Heck, everypony else, as far as she knew, all thought the same thing, all believed that she would never step anywhere close to a relationship with another mare. But now that she finally saw what Rarity had tried to do two days ago, she felt like she should have been happy. Twilight herself liked other mares, too, but she never thought the first mare that would propose this type of relationship would be one of her closest friends.

It could only baffle the mind, Twilight thought, that this type of situation would happen to her in particular. Here she had a friend who wanted more but was completely shunned from taking their friendship any further. Maybe it was that Twilight was scared? Her eyes widened, a faint frown on her lips when she thought about having a marefriend. It did frighten her, quite honestly, yet in such a way that she felt nopony else would understand. And to even raise up that fear, she didn’t want Rarity to get close to her. If she knew about her practice in dark magic, would Rarity even respect her anymore? Would anypony she knew or loved respect her anymore? ‘They… must not know. The cannot know what I’m doing.’

But a thought struck her. She looked to the door that led to another room, the room that belonged to Spike. Yesterday was something out of a dream, a horrible and heart-wrenching scenario that she wished she was not apart of. But she was the mare who had yelled at him, and he deserved none of her anger. His own state of mind, as she could only surmise, was possibly worse than her own.

And after what she had done, she just couldn’t face him that day. She walked home to her parents’ house and told them what happened, what Rarity had proposed to her and the stress that she unleashed upon Spike. ‘Really… I’m thankful for them letting me stay for a while… just until I could go home.’ Yet they had told her that love was a very fickle thing, always confusing towards what was necessary and never truly easy to understand.

In the end, they told her just to give it a chance and to not miss another opportunity like this. They knew of her own personal attachments to mares, something that she at first thought they never knew. But they revealed to her that some time in the past, they saw how she had reacted to stallions when she was little, so oblivious to them that she hardly ever paid attention to them. But when they had seen the way she listened to other mares, they put two and two together. So apparently… they had known all along.

Yet how could Twilight love Rarity when Spike was still practically head over heels for her? He had loved Rarity for the longest time, even sometimes bordering on obsession. But Twilight could only be glad for his own self-control, since she knew what had happened to him when he became greedy: transforming into a huge dragon that nearly wrecked Ponyville.

Thankfully, nopony, not even Rarity, was hurt when he pony-napped her. And now Spike’s feelings were possibly crushed, and it was Twilight’s fault for not seeing him hurt so much. ‘Based on what happened… he probably overheard Rarity admit her feelings from two days ago… when I was reading a book and not paying any attention to what she had to say.’ If that was the case, then Twilight would need to tell Spike what happened when she confronted Rarity and apologize for what she had said to him yesterday.

Twilight stood up and walked over to his door. She took a quick breath in and exhaled out slowly before she opened the door to his room. Light pierced into the dark veil of his room. Not even the light behind his curtain window could illuminate this entire place. “Spike… are you there?” Twilight called out. She pulled the curtains aside with her magic, and the room lit up with the gray lighting from outside. She looked to the bed and frowned at the sight there: Spike laid on his left side with his back to her. “Spike… are… are you aw--”

“Leave me alone, Twilight…” Spike said, his voice almost a whisper cracked with emotion. “Just… please… l-leave me alone.”

Twilight shook her head, even though she knew he would not see her action. “No… I’m not going to let you just sit here like this.” She felt her own voice crack as she thought back to yesterday’s events. “What happened yesterday was… inexcusable of me. I never should have yelled at you… or said those awful words. I k-know… I really screwed up.”

“It’s not fair… you and Ra--”

“Please,” Twilight interrupted him, tears trickled down her muzzle. “Enough… enough about Rarity.” It simply hurt. Her heart ached from the rejection of Rarity’s love for her. “This is about you… I rejected her feelings on the night of what she thought would be our first date. I didn’t accept her love… I… I c-couldn’t accept her love.”

Spike shakily glanced over his shoulder. “B-but why? Wh--”

“Because of what I was oblivious to!” Twilight whimpered and covered her mouth, shaking where she stood. There was no more need for yelling, Twilight knew that. She lowered her hooves. “I… I d-didn’t even register your own feelings. I was so oblivious to Rarity’s own emotions yesterday… and to yours after what Rarity had said to me that day.” Twilight wiped the tears away from her cheeks, a slight hiccup in her voice.

“I-I know how much you care for her…” she continued, “how long you’ve waited for her to return any sort of that feeling for you. I… I just couldn’t handle the idea of having a relationship with another mare, e-even though I wanted to f-for so long. I just couldn’t…” Spike returned his gaze to the wall. Twilight closed her eyes and stemmed some of the tears streaming down her muzzle. “I felt so horrible for what I said yesterday… and I still feel that ache. I knew I should have said this earlier… but I’m sorry… Spike, I-I’m so sorry…”

Twilight unsteadily sat down on the floor, crying quietly to herself. She could only sob, her mind mixed with the emotions that continued to swirl around in her mind: confusion, anxiety, worry, frustration, anger, sadness and guilt. All and plenty more that she could barely begin to describe. “I… I know that you possibly aren’t ready to forgive me… but I’m not asking for that. I just hope you can over ti--”

“Twilight.” Spike interrupted her this time. She looked up to see him on the edge of his bed. “Please… stop. Stop crying.” He stood up and wrapped his arms across his chest. “I… I’ve already forgiven you.”

“W-what?”

“I want you to stop. Please, just stop.” He walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her. Twilight sat there, eyes wide with surprise until she returned that embrace with eyes tightly shut. More and more tears traveled down her cheeks like a dam barely holding a flood back. Spike pulled away and wiped a hand across his eyes. “You… were right.”

“What do you mean?”

“I… there’s no way I could ever win Rarity over.” Spike glanced away while he spoke. “I thought about what you said. And really, you were right.”

“But Spike… I never meant to sa--”

“Pleasejustletmespeakforonesecond.” Spike closed his eyes tightly as he asserted himself, Twilight stopped speaking and just listened. “Just let me speak before I lose my nerve. Because I kept going over what you said yesterday, and you were right. Not only that I'm just a dragon, and that Rarity is a pony. It would never work. We’re two different beings. But I’m still so young… we could never be together with our age difference.” He opened his eyes; fresh tears were trickling down his own muzzle. “I never wanted to accept that fact. I only cared about me and Rarity being together, no matter what anypony else said, and that was all that mattered.” He clenched his hands into fists. “But what you said is true… it could never work… it just won’t…”

“Spike…” Twilight said his name in a gentle tone. “I… I never meant to say anything like that. Not in such a negative tone. Not to you… not ever…”

“Even if you didn’t mean it, it’s all true.” Spike returned his gaze to Twilight’s own. “A dragon and pony are two completely different beings. It can’t be physically possible.”

Twilight’s frown deepened a little, amazed by what Spike was saying. He was completely giving up any chance he might have had with her, a step that she thought he would never have taken at all, even if he grew up into an adult dragon. ‘Spike…’ In some sense, she was proud of him. Proud of such an adult decision he was making. ‘But… can he ever truly let her go?’ Only time would tell if Spike was fully committed to the idea.

But there was no need to bring up this pain now. He had basically said he was done chasing after her; she just needed to have faith in his decision. “Spike… I’m so sorry.” Twilight pulled him in for another hug. The two held each other for a moment longer than before: almost like a brother and sister, or a mother and a son.

“But…” Spike pulled away and looked her straight in the eye. “Promise me that… you’ll try this relationship with Rarity.”

Twilight took her turn to glance away. The prospect seemed so far out of reach now. She did not know if Rarity was in the mood for a relationship now; maybe she had even abandoned the idea of having any sort of association with her. “Spike… I… I don’t know if I can handle it. I just do--”

“Because you’ve never tried to before.” Twilight flinched at the gaze he gave. His frown of sadness deepened to one of irritation. “You always said you liked mares, right? But what have you done about it? I don’t think you’re ever gonna find one, because you always act so scared about it.” Spike let go of her and took a step back. “You keep backing out of the idea of ever having a relationship with another mare. But have you tried talking with another mare? No. You just scare yourself with rejection. Rarity is the only pony I know who has shown she has feelings for you. So for once… just try it… just try it, okay?”

Twilight glanced away, mouth slightly agape with the talk he had just given her. He was right. Absolutely and one-hundred percent right. She had always backed out of the idea of trying to establish some connection or relationship with another mare. Truth be told, like Rarity, she was so scared of rejection. But with what had happened two days ago, she finally saw that she wasn’t the pony being turned down; rather, she was the mare who was dismissing another pony’s feelings toward her own. ‘I… I’ve really screwed it all up. I can’t believe it… I’m such an idiot.’ She turned to Spike, and her eyes widened as he wobbled in place, eyes fluttering slowly.

She picked him up in her magic and lifted him onto his bed. Twilight could only smile as the baby dragon went to sleep. It was the first ray of light that brightened her day. Yet it could have possibly been the last. She looked out the window towards the direction of Ponyville. In that small town, in a building possibly somewhere in the middle of town was Rarity’s boutique, and the mare that she needed to talk to and clear everything up. ‘But… how will I even begin to approach her? After what I did… what I said…’ She gulped, fearing that Rarity would want nothing to do with her after Twilight rejected her feelings so poorly.

So was it the best option to give this relationship another chance, Twilight thought? ‘I… promised Spike I would.’ Yet she herself had no idea if she wanted this for her own purposes. ‘How can I? I’ve never felt the same wa--’ Then she saw an image flash in her eyes. It was the day she went back to Canterlot, an hour after Nightmare Moon’s defeat. Twilight and her newly acquainted friends were sitting on the train together as they came with her to say goodbye. She looked back to when she had spoken with Rarity and saw some inkling, a little glimmer in her eyes. She had no idea if that was just some tear in her friend’s eyes or something more.

‘If… her feelings for me extended all the way back to when we first met, then I have to do something.’ Twilight walked out of Spike’s room and closed the door behind her softly. Returning her attention to the stairway, she bit her lip and sifted through the options. ‘Option A and the worst one: stay here and pretend you never knew Rarity in the first place. Pro is that I never have to experience those dreaded emotions and will never confront Rarity ever again… although the obvious cons are that something may happen to her without my knowledge, and I’ll spend the rest of my life regretting the new experience I would be missing out on.’

Twilight walked over to the couch next to her tall bookcase and sat down. “Option B is, scenario-wise, the best option. Take the next train to Ponyville and make my way over to Rarity’s boutique to apologize for what I did. Pro: it may end up restoring our friendship… and maybe further it as well.” It was the scenario she feared, for although she might be with a mare who was interested in her own feelings, she did not know if she could fully commit and unintentionally break Rarity’s feelings once again. “Con… Rarity may end up rejecting me: friendship-wise and for the rest of our lives, and my own feelings will become hurt in the process.”

This idea was the only one that would solve everything, yet it could backfire so easily as well. ‘Option C… wait, is there a third option?’ “The third most likely scenario is I move to another part of Equestria, or country, and altogether forget this ever happened or my friends… while staying in touch with Princess Celestia, if the place I move to has a mail post there.” Twilight flattened her ears and frowned to herself. “Seriously? I’m no coward.”

‘But… I can’t even gain the courage to approach Rarity… what if I screw this up?’ Twilight’s frown softened, and she looked up to the large window and to the gray world outside. ‘If… I don’t do this… what will happen to Rarity?’ She did not want to run scenarios in her head about what Rarity would do, lest she came to the most unnerving one.

‘No...’ Twilight flinched at the word she used. She stood up and walked over to the stairway. ‘Rarity needs me… I can’t just abandon her…’. A faint smile replaced her frown. ‘She would do the same for me… I know she would…’ Twilight exhaled and stood at the front entrance of her home, flattening her ears against her head. This was the only chance she had to amend their friendship, to set things right and to help Rarity recover from what Twilight had done. In the end, this was what it meant to be a friend. Twilight gulped and brought a hoof to the doorknob, grabbing it and opening the door. ‘Rarity… I’m so sorry for what I did… please just wait… I’m going to undo my mistake.’ She felt her heart ache, but she shook her head and frowned. Now was not the time to run away from this. Now was the time to repair the damage she had caused. And the sensation in her chest worsened, but Twilight was determined to stay strong. ‘Rarity… please, bravery; please don’t run out on me when I need you most…’

Author's Note

As always, I thank my prereader, Monochromatic. And my editor, Alicorn Priest. And of course if there are any errors, grammatically or sentence structure, just let me know.