The incredible life of Arcane Sparkle

by zerofireking13

Rating: everyone
Tags: Anthro, Comedy, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 5049

Arcane, or Cane isn't normal in fact he's possibily the only human on the planet. He doesn't like being treated special but it's kind of hard when your mother is the element of magic, and a princess.

One day there was a baby in a box floating down a river, the most recently crowned princess Twilight Sparkle stumbled the box with the baby inside. Being the caring pony that she is she decides to adopt the child and now she'll have more than just being a princess to deal with.

(Equestria girls never happened in this universe, so Twilight doesn't know what Arcane is.)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-08-02 02:49:23 UTC

The boy in the box.

Ponyville was a very peaceful place at times, it had it's ups and downs. The most recent event was the newest Princess being crowned and her castle arriving after the battle of Tirek and Twilight. The aforementioned princess was having a stroll down by the river just taking a day to relax after all the stress piled up on her, it was something that her mentor had taught her to do after the events of 'Lesson Zero.' She was having a fun time not having to worry about anything of politics or worrying about Spike. She lay down in the grass put her arms behind her head and closed her eyes.

She then heard crying, sitting up she looked around to see a wooden box floating down the river and the box was the source of the crying. She floated the box out of the river and found a baby within the box the child was still crying.

"Oh my, come here little one." She picked the baby up and started to bounce him in her arms, he started to calm down. "You're a little strange aren't you?" The child had no fur except on the top of his head. He little digits on the bottom of his feet. "You can't be more than a few months old." She looked back inside the box and found a blanket, wrapped him in it. "I think we need to get you a checkup at the hospital before we decide what to do with you."

She wrapped his head in the blanket and held him close to her breast to muffle his noises and rushed to the hospital. "Teleporting is out of the the question, he's too young and I don't even know his magical range yet."

She reached the hospital and ran into Nurse Redheart, "Nurse, could you help me I found this child all alone."

"Thank you for coming as soon as you could Twilight. We'll take good care of him." She said as she received the child.

"Do you mind if I come with you there was nopony else with him."

"Sure, follow me." She started to walk and the baby reached out his arm towards Twilight.

"Hi there, aren't you a little cutie? Yes you are." She reached out to his hand and he grabbed her littlest finger, the nurse turned.

"Would you like to carry him?"

"Sure, come here little one." He squealed and she started to bounce him again.

"In here please, I'll get the pediatrician as soon as possible." Redheart motioned into a room. Twilight entered the room and there were drawings then the baby started to cry.

"What's wrong, what is it?" He pointed and she saw a clown painted on the wall. "Ok that is pretty realistic, it's a bit unnerving." She said and stood in front then he started giggling. She turned to find the child playing with her tail. "Oh you like my tail. Don't ya?" He just gurgled out a response then he reached his arms up. Forgetting all about the tail. "You want uppy?" She picked him up again and his little arms reached her horn. "Oh you wanted to feel my horn. Well that's not all it can do." She used some of her magic and started to display little twinkles of light. This amused the child to no end and he started to slowly clap.

"Ma...........MA."

"Ma? Do you want more sparkles?" The child clapped and squealed again. Twilight began to tickle the baby, "Who's a little cutie yes you are."

"Excuse me, Your highness?" Twilight turned to see the pediatrician in the doorway.

"I'm sorry Dr..."

"Tender Love, Dr. Tender Love Care, or Doc TLC as the nurses call me. There's no need to apologize, though he is a bit strange."

"Ok, just as long as he's healthy." Twilight said as the pediatrician got to work.

"His temperature is a bit high but he doesn't seem to be showing any signs of being ill. Blood pressure around normal for an earth pony standard, no telltale signs of being starved, though I don't think he can digest any baby formula he seems a bit too young for it. Where did you find him?"

"He was floating down the river in a wooden box, and he was crying. He was lucky I was there or something might have happened to him."

"Did you happen to find any letters or pictures to tell who or what he is?" he asked.

"No, just him naked and a blanket to keep him warm. That's about it."

"Well Princess-"

"Please call me Twilight, I'm still now getting used to being an Alicorn let alone a princess." she was now holding him again bouncing him in her arms.

"It seems you're a natural at caring for children."

Twilight looked at the baby boy now in her arms. "Oh yeah, I raised my assistant Spike almost by myself so this is no problem, did you know that dragons are born with a small set of baby teeth."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah he used to nibble on my ears whenever he got to sit on my head, I may have been young but I wasn't ready to have my ears pierced. I miss those days."

"Would like to be able to get some of those days back?"

"What do you mean?"

"I have a theory that the baby in your arms imprinted onto you."

"That's a bit absurd don't you think."

"He crawled right into your arms while we were talking and you haven't put him down since."

She looked at the child who now was resting his head on her shoulder napping. "Okay you may have a point, but I don't have time to care for a child. I recently became a princess and now ponies come to me for guidance, how can I be that and a mother at the same time?" She whispered so that she wouldn't wake the baby up.

"To be completely honest, those jobs are pretty much the same. That child will need you for guidance, food, a roof over his head, warmth, and most of all love. Are you seriously going to give that baby away because you can make the rules and make your own schedule whenever you please? If so than give that child here and maybe he'll forget about you." The pediatrician whispered back.

Twilight was confused on what to do then she looked at the sleeping child in her arms. He's so innocent, and if it weren't for me he be alone or worse. "I'll do it."

"I'll go get the adoption papers and a start-up kit. But first you need to know that his little stomach won't be able to handle baby formula."

"Do you mean I'll have to breastfeed him?"

"You, specifically don't have to do it you can hire out a wet nurse to do it but it costs quite a sum of bits. That or we can teach you the lactation spell so you can breastfeed him yourself."

"I think I'll take that spell lesson."

"Great I'll get the adoption papers, a unicorn wet nurse, and a start up kit while you think of names for the lucky little guy."

"Oh great sun I forgot about giving him a name. Let's see, Grabby? No, Whiney? No come on Twilight it can't be this hard. Scaredy? No, what does he like besides me. she looked up. Duh magic, hmmm. I got it, Arcane Cosmos Sparkle. It's a lot like my name." The newly named Arcane was happily sleeping away in his new mother's arms. the pediatrician returned with the items and the nurse.

"Have you come up with a name yet?" he asked.

"Yes his name is Arcane Cosmos Sparkle."

"That sounds like a great name, I've already filled out most of the basic information like height, weight and so on. Fill out the name and then sign the dotted line." Twilight filled out the name and put the quill on the dotted line and took a deep breath and filled in her name 'Twilight Aurora Sparkle'. "Congratulations, Twilight you're now a mother. I'll get this filed with city hall, and it will be official. I suppose you'll want to keep this off the media."

"Yes please, for now I just need to get used to being a mother first."

"I'll leave you with Nurse Aid." The pediatrician left the two mares alone. The nurse was a bit eager, while Twilight was more than a little nervous.

"Are you ready to learn the lactation spell?" Nurse Aid asked. Twilight laid Arcane on the small table asleep.

"Ready as I'll ever be." Twilight said, she learned the spell and applying it to herself.

"Now some soreness is to be expected and will be ready in a few minutes, when feeding if he suckles too hard they will be a bit tender. Remember to redo the spell every three to four months, and don't forget to burp the child. Now the start up kit has a few items like clothing, pacifiers, socks and shoes, and diapers. You'll also have a temporary crib."

"Thank you, oh you weren't kidding about soreness."

"Usually using lettuce leafs helps with the soreness. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask the hospital, and congratulations Twilight."

Can't sleep like a baby with a baby.

Twilight and Arcane were now in Barnyard Bargains getting baby supplies, with a shopping cart full of items. More pacifiers, and clothes. She also got a better crib and playpen, baby powder, and wipes. Arcane was busy chewing on his pacifier and bouncing his feet around in the seat of the shopping cart he liked playing with the boxes behind him.

"You're very curious aren't you?" Twilight asked. She was pushing around the animal food area. "I need to get more pellets for Owlicious, he's my pet owl. I think you'll like him."

"Hmm?" Arcane hummed.

"Close it's, who. Owl's say who."

"Oh hi Twilight." Twilight looked around to find Fluttershy shopping in the animal section as well. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm doing some shopping as well." She replied.

"What's with all the baby stuff?"

"Okay Fluttershy, what I'm about to tell you is secret, can you promise me not to tell anyone until I'm ready to say so?" Fluttershy then did the Pinkie promise motions. "I'm shopping for baby things because I recently adopted a child."

"Really? How recent?"

"Today."

"Don't you think that was a little fast to just adopt a child on the spot?"

"Yes, but the doctors think that he imprinted on me or something like that. Plus he's really cute, he may look a little different but he deserves a home."

"I think that's very kind of you Twilight."

"Really?"

"Yes, I think that the stress of being a princess was coming down on you a bit, a child is a perfect way to help relieve some of that stress, it may also case some more stress as well but just be aware of that. There is a saying that my mom taught me when I was younger and getting ready to start my own life."

"I am aware, but what was that saying?"

"You can't sleep like a baby with a baby."

"Noted, thanks Fluttershy."

"Can I see him?"

"You are standing in front of him. It's more like can he see you."

"Oh well, hi there little guy." Fluttershy said we she saw Arcane. "What's his name?"

"I named him Arcane Cosmos Sparkle, or Cane for short."

"Aww he's so cute. Can I hold him?"

"Sure, wanna go uppy Cane?" The little boy bounced in joy as soon as those words were spoken. He held his arms up towards Twilight as she picked him up. "Cane this is Auntie Shy-Shy, can you say hi to your auntie?" Cane leaned over to Fluttershy to hug her, and she hugged him. Fluttershy took him into her arms and Cane started to giggle.

"Oh, I'm thinking of calling you a little monkey, you look so much like a monkey."

"He does doesn't he?"

Arcane then yawned and started to blink lazily, Twilight was handed back her new son and she said. "I better finish up shopping, then I can get his crib set up and put him to sleep."

"Take care Twilight, bye bye Cane."

Twilight finished shopping and brought her items home to Crystal Oaks Library, she didn't like it to be a palace so she asked Princess Celestia to shrink it down into a functioning library. When she was asked why she said that it didn't feel like a comforting home to her, and thus the princess proceeded with the spell. Just because she was a princess didn't mean she had to accept being one. She asked the princess and she said she would reverse the spell that made her an alicorn whenever she felt like it was getting too much, she wasn't immortal like Celestia or Luna either. That's due to the fact that they can't magically lengthen a ponies natural age, Cadence will have roughly the same lifespan as she normally would just a few years added at the most.

"Spike, I'm back."

Spike had really grown over the past month, he recently hit puberty. That was causing problems for him since the house shrunk down, he had his own room now. Then he started growing and needed a new bed, eventually Princess Celestia had to buy him his own plot of land with a huge cave. He was a trooper though, he came into work every morning as the librarians assistant. In doing so it caused a gap in Twilight's heart that she wanted to fill, probably why she adopted Cane so fast.

"What took you so long?" Spike asked while coming down the stairs. He saw all the baby things. "Twilight you know I like you like sister right?"

"It's not for you Spike it's for.......well.....him." She pointed out Cane sleeping in a recently assembled playpen. Spike walked over and looked at 'him'.

"What is it?"

"He's not an it, it's he and his name is Arcane, or Cane your new nephew."

"I have some concerns though."

"Like?"

"How fast you adopted him."

"I hatched you and my parents adopted you into my family just as fast."

"Good point."

"Thank you, now could you help me finish building and setting up his room?"

"Where is his room going to be?"

"I hope you don't mind if I use your old one."

"It's your house. I've got my drake-cave."

"Why do you insist on calling it that?"

"My house, my rules"

They finished setting up everything in Cane's new room and that's when he started to cry. Twilight picked him up and felt his diaper, he was wet. "Come on let's get you changed." She said while sitting him down on the changing table. She unbuttoned his onesie, and took off his diaper wiping his butt with a baby wipe and putting talcum powder over his nether regions, and finally strapping a new diaper up and buttoning his onesie once again.

He was still crying a bit. He's hungry. I better get used to doing it now. She unbuttoned her shirt a bit and undid her bra. Holding him up to her breast he started to nurse. It feels odd but somehow natural, having another life to use you like a food source. Mares do have the means to feed foals and Cane is no exception. Minutes passed and Cane stopped nursing, Twilight redid her bra, buttoned up her shirt, and placed a rag over her shoulder and burped him. He spit up a little of the breast milk but Twilight wiped the remnants off his mouth and put a pacifier for him to suckle on.

"Twi, I finished unpacking the new books and organizing them. I'm going home now."

"Thanks Spike, please don't tell anyone about Arcane."

Spike made the pinkie promise motions. "You got it Twi."

Introductions

Fluttershy was right, is hard to sleep with a baby in the house. Cane started to cry before the sun came up, he was wet again. She gently rocked him back to sleep while she decided to get a cup of coffee and savor it. "Maker knows I wont be able to savor things for a time while Cane is living here." She was glad that Spike had taken the time to teach her how to cook for herself, it also helped that she attended a cooking class run by Pinkie every Saturday. It explained how Pinkie could afford to buy all the items she had and pay for rent for the cakes. She was enjoying her coffee right up until the moment Cane started to cry again. Twilight downed the rest of her morning breakfast brew and went to help feed her new son. She nursed the crying child and burped him. "Now I can't keep you a secret forever, my home being a public building and all. I'm just having the trouble of which one of my friends to introduce you to first, besides Auntie Shy-Shy, and Uncle Spike." She spoke to the child. The child meanwhile was distracted by the playpen with all stuffed animals and toys in it.

He started to reach towards the playpen, so she set him on the padded floor, grabbed some toys and started to play with him. "Auntie Pink and Auntie Rain would too loud and might hurt your ears. Auntie Rare would absolutely adore you, and may faint or make you clothing. I think the best option would be Auntie AJ."

"Ah...a?" Cane tried to say AJ but due to him lacking intelligence or teeth he couldn't pronounce it. He just gave up and started to shake the rattle in his hand, he enjoyed making the new noise.

"Nice try Cane. You're much more intelligent than I give you credit for, most foals would still be babbling nonsense and not pay attention to their parents." Cane then crawled over to where Twilight was sitting.

"Mama." He said while trying to hug her. She picked him up and hugged him back.

"You're such a cutie, also a big handful." Twilight got a wicked idea, and started to tickle Arcane. She loved hearing his laughs and giggles. Then she started to belly blast the baby boy. "PFFFTT. Who's a cute baby yes you are. PFFFTT, who's mommy's little colt? Yes you are." The tickle monster had come and gone, Arcane was still reeling from being tickled and bell blasted and was giggling a bit. There was a knock on the door and she put Arcane in his playpen while she went to answer it. It was Pinkie and she didn't look so good.

"Twilight you have to help me." she near shouted.

"What is it Pinkie?"

"I've had my pinkie sense going cra-zee. Twilight you gotta help me!"

"How would I do that the only one that understands the pinkie sense is you."

"I know but there's an itch that I got that tells me that there's a new pony in town, but then it tells me it's not a pony. IT'S DRIVING ME INSANER!" Pinkie yelled, unfortunately that was heard by Arcane and he didn't like the sudden new noise, so he did what all babies do in that situation.....cry.

"Eh-heh, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHA!" was heard from the other room, suddenly Pinkie's twitching stopped. Twilight rushed upstairs to calm Arcane down.

"Shh, calm down." Twilight was holding the baby now patting his back while his tiny arms were wrapped around her neck. "Mama's here, shh."

"Well that explains that." Pinkie said quietly. Twilight just stared at Pinkie. "Should I just leave?"

"No Pinkie, I could use your help here." She said while the baby stopped screaming.

"Lemme see him." Pinkie held her arms out. Twilight was reluctant but then handed Arcane over. Pinkie held Arcane over her heart letting him listen to her heartbeat.

"Mmmmmmmm." Arcane fell back asleep, and Pinkie handed him back to Twilight.

"How'd you do that Pinkie?" Twilight whispered.

"When in the womb babies can hear the heartbeat of the mother, so listening to a heartbeat will calm the baby down." Pinkie whispered back.

"Pinkie I think I know who was causing those itches and twitches." Twilight whispered.

"Really who?"

"You're holding him. That's Arcane, my new son."  Twilight said.

"What? Why haven't you introduced us to him?"

"It was very sudden Pinkie I didn't think I'd be a mother so soon. The only others that know about him is the hospital, Spike, and Fluttershy."

"Aww, I get it trust me. I could give you some pointers if you want." Pinkie said.

"Would you?" Twilight pleaded.

"I have to ask a few questions, but first I'd put him back in his crib." Pinkie handed Arcane, to Twilight. Twilight head upstairs and lay Arcane down.

"Would you like some tea?" Twilight asked as she walked back down the stairs.

"Ginseng if you have any." Pinkie said.

"I think I do." Twilight said as she searched her cabinet. Spotting the ginseng tea she added it to the boiling water on the stovetop. She joined Pinkie, "Careful it's hot."

"Thank you. I guess the situation is a bit reversed." Pinkie said.

"I know, usually it's me that's asking the questions and everypony else answering." Twilight chuckled.

"Twilight I noticed how young Arcane is and I know that you're breastfeeding him. There's nothing wrong with that, just when you start to ween him of it you have to stand your ground."

"I got that."

"There's also this, there are no books on being a mother, there is no book on telling you how to love your child, the hospital is a great place to learn aliments for your child."

"Yes. Being a mother is something that comes naturally." Twilight said, "I got it when I had Spike when he was young but I was a foal at the time as well."

"Yeah, other than that I think you have all the bases covered." Pinkie said. "You've already named him, now all we need to do is introduce Cane to everypony else."

"Yeah, I was going over that this morning and I couldn't reach a conclusion."

"I'll take care of it for you if you want me to." Pinkie said.

"Would you, but please no party cannon?" Twilight begged.

"I would never use my party cannon in the same room of a baby." Pinkie said.

"Do you have anymore tips?" Twilight asked.

"I see you already have things for him but I suggest when he gets older giving him pull up diapers, it will really help with the terrible twos and threes."

"Thank you Pinkie, I can't seem to thank you enough for your help." Twilight said.

"By the way I have a question."

"Yes?"

"What species is he? I don't think I've seen anything like him." Pinkie said. "This is me we're talking about here!"

"To be completely honest, I don't know. I ran into Fluttershy yesterday and she said he looked more like a monkey than a pony."

Arcane 1st p.o.v.

What is this? Where am I? Where's the warm? I opened my seers to find myself surrounded my black lines. I tried to push on the black lines but they wouldn't move. Where's my chewie? I had the chewie in my noise thing before I went to black. Where did it go? I moved my top thingy to look around with my seers, my chewie had fallen between the black lines and onto the bottom! I needed my chewie! Where's the big milk thing? That'll get my chewie for me! I decided to call for help! "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!"

3rd p.o.v.

Twilight was finishing up scooting Pinkie out the door so that Pinkie could get the their other friends when Cane had decided to start screaming. "Hold on Cane, mama's coming." Twilight said up to the screaming baby but to no avail he continued to scream until she reached his room and picked him up. "What is it baby?" She said while holding him. "Where'd your pacifier go?" Twilight pondered to herself until she spotted it on the floor. "Oh no, it got all dirty. I'll get you another one." Twilight said while reaching the changing station and pulling a pacifier out from one of the drawers and plopping it into his mouth to quiet the noisy baby down. "Shh it's alright, Mama will wash your dirty one later but for right now you can play in your playpen in the living room while I go clean up for your aunties to come over." Twilight said while walking down to the living room and placing the now awake baby into his playpen while she cleaned up.

Arcane 1st p.o.v.

Mama? What's a mama? Is it what the big milk thing is, a mama? I was turning the top thing that moved my seers, I'll have to find out a name for the top thing later. There were a lot of different things, but there was something in front of me. What was it? It was pointy, but not pointy and it moved! Wait that's a part of me! Huh, they look weird there were many pointies and one littler pointy. Can I move these thingies? I started to wave them about and it was fun! I wonder what will happen if they crash into each other! I brought my pointies together and it made a noise! Did I hurt my pointies?!?!? Were they alright? I seered at them and they were fine, but what was that noise I made by crashing them together? I wanna see what happens if I crashered them together again. So I repeated my process but I did it harder and again there was that noise. I did it again and again! I loved it, but suddenly the big milk thing was back, wait no it's called a mama. The mama was back and seeing at me, did I do something bad? The mama picked me up and put me on the bottom. Then the mama grabbed my pointies. What was she doing?

"Hands." The mama said. "Thehaganame hands!"

I seered at my pointies, was the mama trying to tell me something? Why did she have my pointies?

"Haaaaaaannnnnnnnnndddddddddssssssss." The mama said again. Hands? What are hands? Was she talking about my pointies? Are my pointies called hands? They ARE! I have hands! What was that noise I made with them though? I tried to do it again but the mama still had my hands in it's hands and it was too stronger to break apart. Then the mama made that noise with my hands again. "Clap!" It noised at me. Was the noise I made called something? I made the noise again when the mama let go of my hands, "Clap!" The mama noised again. I was clapping! That was the noise was called. Yay! I clapped some more and laughed. I learned something new!

3rd p.o.v.

Twilight was busy cleaning when she heard a noise, she had looked outside the window but there was nopony at the door. Then she heard the noise again and looked to where it was coming from, it was Arcane and he was clapping but then he stopped when she looked at him over his playpen. Aww he just discovered his hands, and it looks like he's trying to clap! Twilight thought it was so cute so she took little Cane out of his playpen and held his hands. "They have a name, hands!"

The baby looked at his mother with confusion on his face. Hmm, I'm going to have to try a different approach. "Haaaaaaannnnnnnnnndddddddddssssssss." Twilight drew out her word hoping that it would register into the infant's little brain. The baby was struggling within Twilight's own hands then she moved them apart and clapped them. "Clap!" She said to the baby and let his hands go. The little colt clapped again and Twilight repeated the word. "Clap!" The baby paused then smiled and started clapping and laughing. "Aww, you are so adorable."

"CA!" The baby gurgled as he clapped.

"Yes! Clap! You like to clap don't you."

"Mmmmmumumumu...............CA!" The baby mumbled and hummed.

"You think you're so smart mister?" Twilight pointed at herself. "Who am I?"

"Mk!" The baby screamed out.

"No, I'm MAMA." Twilight said.

"Hmm?" The baby hummed.

"MA MA." Twilight pointed at herself. "You said it earlier, why won't you say it now."

"Mama?" The baby said with his hands outreached. He had a pitiful look on his face like he wanted to be picked up.

"I'm sorry baby." Twilight picked her child up and held him tight. There was a knock on the door.

**********

"So Twi, why'd you have Pinkie bring us all down to the library? Not that I mind or anything." Applejack asked.

"Yeah, I was busy sleeping." Rainbow yawned.

"I'm sure she has a very good reason." Fluttershy said.

"Thank you Fluttershy, in fact as you may have noticed things in the library are a bit different."

"What? You letting toddlers into your eggheadom?" Rainbow asked.

"Well.....sort of." Twilight chuckled.

"Darling I hate to be so crass but could you please get to the point?" Rarity asked.

"Okay, just wait right here I'll be right back." Twilight said as she went upstairs and picked the bouncing baby boy up. Twilight walked back down the stairs, "Girls I'd like for you to meet our newest addition to our friendship. Meet Arcane." Twilight showed off her baby.

"Twilight is that what I think it is?" Rarity asked.

"SA-SA!" The baby said and reached towards Fluttershy.

"Aww c'mere you." Fluttershy cooed and Twilight handed over her child to Fluttershy.

"What is it?" Rainbow said and in the distance a certain unicorn DJ scratched one of her records.

"MY CHILD IS NOT AN IT!" Twilight yelled, startling Cane and making him cry.

"Aww don't cry little one. Auntie Shy's got you." Fluttershy said bouncing the baby.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhh." The baby cried out reaching for Twilight.

"Oh come here." Twilight picked Cane out of Fluttershy's arms and cuddled him. "Girls this is my son."